The Joe Rogan Experience - January 23, 2024


Joe Rogan Experience #2090 - Bobby Lee


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 14 minutes

Words per Minute

198.55515

Word Count

26,752

Sentence Count

3,360

Misogynist Sentences

50

Hate Speech Sentences

58


Summary

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend Joe Rogan to talk about his journey with sobriety and recovery from drugs and alcohol. We talk about how he went from a life of drugs and drinking to now being clean and sober, and what it takes to stay that way. I hope you enjoy this episode and that it makes you think about how important it is to stay sober and stay sober in order to be the best version of yourself. I know I did and I know you will too! Cheers, Joe and I hope this episode inspires you in your day to day life and helps you stay sober. I am so grateful to have Joe as a friend and a brother and I can t wait to do it again with him in the next episode. Cheers! Cheers and God bless! -Joe Rogan and God Bless You, Blessings, Cheers. -Bobby and Joe - Thank You, God bless you. Love ya. XOXO, EJ and Elyssa Thank you for listening and supporting this podcast. xoxo, Elexa and Joe. Thank you so much for being a friend. Love ya, Elicia and EJ & God bless ya! XO, Joe Rogans Love, Elesa & EJ & God Bless you, JBobby & JB (Maggie EJ ( ) Thanks for listening to this episode. JOE & Elyssia, ELEMENTING, JOEY, ERLA, ELSU, JACOBY, JAMIE, JOSEPH, JUICY, RYAN & JARRELLA, JAY & JAYE, JABY, BOBBY, & JOSH, JEAN, AND JAYA JOSIE, MAYO, PODCASTING, MALAYA, & SONGS, DADDY, MARYLEE, AND KELLY, GRAVY, DANNAKE, AND SONDS, JODY, BABY & KAROSHA & JYANNAH, AND TAYLOR, AND PRAISE YOU, DOUG, & KEVIN AND KAREN, BRIAN AND KAYLEE AND JOSH & JAMES, etc.


Transcript

00:00:11.000 Is there a theme song or what happens?
00:00:13.000 No, just go on.
00:00:17.000 I made it.
00:00:18.000 I'm here.
00:00:19.000 And it's just like, what a blessing.
00:00:21.000 Let me finish this.
00:00:24.000 What a blessing.
00:00:25.000 Over the years, people on the internet were like, why don't you do Rogan?
00:00:27.000 I was like, I don't even know how.
00:00:29.000 And I'm here now.
00:00:30.000 And I just feel so present.
00:00:32.000 And I feel mindful.
00:00:34.000 It's going to be a great one.
00:00:35.000 Anyway, thanks for having me.
00:00:36.000 I'm so happy you're here.
00:00:36.000 You too, man.
00:00:37.000 Yeah, we talked about doing it fucking a thousand times.
00:00:40.000 A thousand times.
00:00:40.000 Yeah, and it never happened.
00:00:42.000 People thought we had a problem with each other.
00:00:44.000 No, we know.
00:00:45.000 In fact, here's the deal, Joe.
00:00:48.000 Okay, Bobby.
00:00:49.000 Not only do we not have a problem with each other, right?
00:00:52.000 You've been a really big asset to me over the years, on the phone.
00:00:57.000 Like, when I'm in trouble, you call, and you're so helpful, and you've got me through a lot of, like, difficult situations.
00:01:03.000 I love you, Bobby.
00:01:04.000 We're the opposite of trouble.
00:01:05.000 We're in a, like, family.
00:01:07.000 Yes.
00:01:07.000 That's how I feel.
00:01:08.000 Yeah.
00:01:09.000 But, you know, people...
00:01:10.000 But I just didn't know how to do it!
00:01:12.000 Well, I always said, anytime you want to do it, you were like, okay.
00:01:14.000 And that would be like...
00:01:15.000 But there's no number!
00:01:16.000 I don't know who to...
00:01:16.000 Who do I call?
00:01:17.000 You call me!
00:01:17.000 Oh!
00:01:18.000 I didn't know who to call!
00:01:20.000 This whole thing is literally booked on my phone.
00:01:23.000 Oh, it is?
00:01:24.000 Yeah.
00:01:24.000 Well, now I know.
00:01:25.000 I have a guy, shout out to my man Matt, who I contact when I want someone to get, like if I want to reach out, like to Cat Williams or something like that, like reach out to this guy, try to get him on, and that's it.
00:01:39.000 And then it all gets booked on my phone.
00:01:42.000 Wow.
00:01:43.000 Well, now I know, and knowing's half the battle.
00:01:44.000 You know what they said?
00:01:45.000 G.I. Joe just said that.
00:01:46.000 What?
00:01:47.000 What?
00:01:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:50.000 That way, it's like the whole thing.
00:01:52.000 I go to Tom's.
00:01:54.000 Have you been to Tom's?
00:01:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:01:57.000 It's like they have a real production staff.
00:02:00.000 There's all these people running around with clipboards.
00:02:04.000 I went to Burt's house the other day.
00:02:05.000 He had eight people behind computers just typing around.
00:02:08.000 What the fuck they're doing?
00:02:09.000 E-mailing what?
00:02:10.000 Social media, going crazy, promoting arena shows.
00:02:13.000 Everyone's going nuts.
00:02:15.000 Me, no.
00:02:16.000 I don't want that in my life.
00:02:18.000 You don't need it.
00:02:18.000 I don't want it.
00:02:19.000 You have a white guy.
00:02:20.000 Yeah.
00:02:21.000 Just some average white guy.
00:02:23.000 No offense, but you're not, you know.
00:02:25.000 With all due respect, Jamie does take the place of at least two regular people, if not three.
00:02:31.000 He's great, dude.
00:02:32.000 How many people?
00:02:33.000 I don't know.
00:02:33.000 You tell me.
00:02:34.000 I say at least two.
00:02:36.000 Maybe three.
00:02:37.000 Jamie might take the place of three people.
00:02:40.000 Wow.
00:02:40.000 What do you got there?
00:02:41.000 What are those?
00:02:42.000 These are pouches.
00:02:43.000 They're called Copenhagens.
00:02:44.000 Oh, okay.
00:02:44.000 I got these little rogues.
00:02:46.000 I like these.
00:02:46.000 Is it tobacco?
00:02:48.000 It's just nicotine.
00:02:50.000 It's not tobacco.
00:02:50.000 Yeah, it's the pouch.
00:02:51.000 Those are tobacco.
00:02:52.000 Yeah, these are tobacco.
00:02:53.000 So you have to spit.
00:02:53.000 Yeah.
00:02:54.000 And when I get blisters, I stop.
00:02:57.000 Oh, okay.
00:02:57.000 When it burns through your cheek.
00:03:04.000 Yeah, but I quit smoking two years ago, so it's like, you know, that was tough.
00:03:19.000 Was it?
00:03:19.000 Cigarettes?
00:03:20.000 Yeah.
00:03:21.000 Well, I quit drugs and cigarettes.
00:03:24.000 Well, you went clean.
00:03:25.000 You were clean for a long time.
00:03:26.000 17 years.
00:03:27.000 And then what was the first thing you did?
00:03:31.000 Well, I relapsed twice.
00:03:32.000 So after the 17 years, my dad died.
00:03:34.000 And, you know, he died.
00:03:37.000 And then my mom goes, selfie.
00:03:39.000 So I took a selfie.
00:03:41.000 With my mom and the family and my dad was dead.
00:03:43.000 And I decided that was so weird that I took a gummy.
00:03:47.000 I brought one just in case.
00:03:48.000 How many milligrams?
00:03:50.000 At the time it was like 10 milligrams.
00:03:51.000 But then I had other stuff in my mom's house.
00:03:55.000 You know what I mean?
00:03:55.000 And I took the rest.
00:03:56.000 And then I relapsed for like four months.
00:03:59.000 Then I got sober again.
00:04:01.000 And then when things got crazy in my life, I did it again.
00:04:08.000 What did you go with again?
00:04:09.000 Did you go with just weed?
00:04:10.000 Weed and drinking.
00:04:13.000 It's fine at first.
00:04:15.000 I remember taking edible, going to Hawaii, because I was shooting Magnum PI or something.
00:04:20.000 It's fun for a couple of months, but then I overdo it.
00:04:24.000 It's like 24 hours a day, and I'm drinking 24 hours a day.
00:04:30.000 Andrew Santino was concerned.
00:04:33.000 Like one time he knocked on my hotel room and I walked out and I had poo all over my body.
00:04:37.000 Yeah, and I was in a blackout drunk and he goes, you had poo all over your body.
00:04:41.000 That's a good friend.
00:04:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:04:42.000 Did he clean you up?
00:04:43.000 Yeah, he cleaned me up.
00:04:44.000 You know what I mean?
00:04:45.000 Andrew's the best.
00:04:46.000 He's the best.
00:04:47.000 Well, he was mad.
00:04:47.000 You know how he gets mad.
00:04:49.000 Of course.
00:04:49.000 You're covered in shit.
00:04:50.000 You fucking bastard!
00:04:51.000 You know what I mean?
00:04:51.000 Yeah, you're covered in shit.
00:04:52.000 He didn't abandon you like I would've.
00:04:54.000 I don't think you would've.
00:04:55.000 I probably wouldn't.
00:04:56.000 You would've cleaned it, but you would've said, clean up, and then 10 minutes, I'll see you.
00:04:59.000 I would've chucked you into the tub.
00:05:01.000 Yeah, like a cold plunge.
00:05:03.000 Yeah.
00:05:03.000 Just hose you down.
00:05:05.000 So it got bad and then what happened was Bob Sackett died and then Louie died.
00:05:13.000 And for some reason I was drinking and also when I was coughing up blood.
00:05:18.000 I had these chunks of curdled blood, like a ball.
00:05:23.000 And I had convinced myself that I had fucking cancer.
00:05:27.000 And I always go, death comes in three, not that I'm that big like those guys, but in my mind it's like, I'm next.
00:05:34.000 And I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, it was fucking terrible.
00:05:37.000 But then I got sober and things are fine.
00:05:40.000 What was the blood?
00:05:42.000 Did you ever find out?
00:05:43.000 Then I got an x-ray done, and it's like, it's fine.
00:05:45.000 I just, when I smoke so much weed and cigarettes at the same time.
00:05:48.000 Oh my god, you made your lungs bleed?
00:05:51.000 That's so crazy!
00:05:52.000 That chumps of blood would come out.
00:05:54.000 Oh my god, that's so crazy.
00:05:55.000 And I remember I would cough into it like a towel or something, and I would send it to my ex, Kalilah.
00:06:01.000 And...
00:06:03.000 Just the photo or the actual...
00:06:05.000 Just the photo.
00:06:05.000 Okay, okay.
00:06:06.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:06.000 Just the photo.
00:06:07.000 Yeah, and I'd be like, I have cancer.
00:06:09.000 Because if you send her the whole thing, that's like...
00:06:11.000 That's weird.
00:06:12.000 Oh, really?
00:06:13.000 I don't think so.
00:06:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:14.000 No, I mean, if you thought you had, like, some crazy disease, like...
00:06:17.000 Oh, my God.
00:06:18.000 Did you see these ladies in Denver today?
00:06:21.000 They took a live Ebola vaccine.
00:06:23.000 There's not even Ebola cases here.
00:06:25.000 It's in Africa, right?
00:06:27.000 But this doctor was encouraging people to take this Ebola vaccine just in case Ebola hits.
00:06:32.000 Why does everybody want to freak me out?
00:06:35.000 I know.
00:06:35.000 Why does this lady want to freak me out by taking this thing?
00:06:38.000 Who knows what the fuck is going to happen to you now?
00:06:40.000 And why does everybody want to freak me out at the fucking possibility of some new disease coming along and killing everybody?
00:06:46.000 But Ebola's old school.
00:06:49.000 It's a scary one.
00:06:50.000 Hot zone.
00:06:50.000 It liquefies your organs, right?
00:06:52.000 Denver Health Medical Team receives Ebola vaccine.
00:06:56.000 The team became some of the first people to receive the live Ebola vaccine for preventative measures in case of a future outbreak.
00:07:02.000 The first people?
00:07:03.000 Oh my god.
00:07:05.000 Wait a minute, is the Ebola vaccine new?
00:07:07.000 Did they not have a vaccine before?
00:07:09.000 And now they do?
00:07:10.000 I don't know.
00:07:12.000 What the fuck, people?
00:07:13.000 But back in the day when they had it, they just bomb a village, right?
00:07:16.000 That's a good question.
00:07:17.000 What did they do?
00:07:18.000 What did they do?
00:07:18.000 I don't know what they did.
00:07:19.000 I don't think it's that easy to spread.
00:07:21.000 I think Ebola has to be spread by bodily fluids.
00:07:24.000 It's not airborne.
00:07:25.000 Right.
00:07:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:26.000 But they could fix that.
00:07:29.000 You think they're Chinese?
00:07:31.000 A little bit of this, a little bit of that.
00:07:37.000 And look, now it flies through the air.
00:07:39.000 Oh man, if it was like COVID, Like that easy?
00:07:43.000 We're fucked!
00:07:44.000 But that's what scares the shit out of me, man.
00:07:47.000 They keep talking about it.
00:07:48.000 These fucking creeps at the World Economic Forum, they all get together and talk about preparation for Disease X. They're calling it Virus X or Disease X. They're scaring the shit out of me.
00:08:01.000 Can I just ask you something?
00:08:02.000 You know me.
00:08:03.000 I don't know much about nothing, right?
00:08:06.000 But do you believe that it was man-made?
00:08:08.000 Well, it was definitely man-made.
00:08:10.000 Yeah, I wouldn't say definitely because I'm not really an expert.
00:08:13.000 But every expert that I have talked to that examined the virus itself The cleavage sites, the way it skipped all animal forms.
00:08:26.000 You can't find that virus out in the wild.
00:08:29.000 And then all of a sudden it made a leap to person.
00:08:31.000 It apparently has all of the earmarks of being engineered.
00:08:36.000 Wow.
00:08:36.000 But this is something that they do.
00:08:38.000 This is not like science fiction.
00:08:40.000 So when we say that, it's not like we're just making up some story about some lab where they're making viruses.
00:08:45.000 No, they fucking 100% absolutely do it.
00:08:49.000 And they lied about funding it.
00:08:51.000 That was the big thing with Fauci and the NIH. They lied about funding gain-of-function research and Rand Paul grilled them.
00:08:59.000 You can watch it on YouTube, and then they lied about whether or not this, first of all, was happening, whether or not they were doing gain-of-function research, and whether or not they funded it.
00:09:11.000 They funded it through another organization, so they fund another organization, and another organization funds the Wuhan lab.
00:09:17.000 And there's a bunch of labs.
00:09:18.000 That's not the only lab.
00:09:19.000 There's a shit ton of them.
00:09:20.000 I visited one with Duncan.
00:09:22.000 We went down to one in Galveston, Texas.
00:09:25.000 It's fucking terrifying!
00:09:27.000 And I don't know if they're doing gain-of-function research there, but I know they have some of the most deadly viruses and diseases known to man, all with these crazy ventilation tubes, and everyone's walking around in these hazmat suits and shit.
00:09:40.000 They let Duncan and I there.
00:09:41.000 Why?
00:09:42.000 Oh, and by the way, we hadn't slept.
00:09:44.000 So Duncan and I, this is when we were doing Joe Rogan Questions Everything for sci-fi.
00:09:49.000 Duncan and I, we flew together.
00:09:52.000 So we had to fly together to go to Texas.
00:09:54.000 And both of us got barbecued.
00:09:58.000 I mean, we took like 500 milligram edibles and totally missed our flight.
00:10:02.000 In the airport.
00:10:03.000 We were just talking for like hours.
00:10:05.000 Like, oh my god, what time is it?
00:10:07.000 Like that bad?
00:10:08.000 And they're like, this flight's gone.
00:10:10.000 The flight's gone.
00:10:11.000 Like, oh no.
00:10:12.000 So the next flight we had to take place was like 5 in the morning.
00:10:15.000 And it got us there right before we were supposed to film.
00:10:17.000 So we literally stayed up all night.
00:10:20.000 I think we got a hotel for one hour.
00:10:22.000 I think we actually got a hotel for one hour.
00:10:24.000 Yeah.
00:10:25.000 And then we flew, woke up in the morning, and just got in the car, rather, and just went straight to this lab.
00:10:32.000 So we're delirious.
00:10:33.000 We're still probably high.
00:10:35.000 And we're in this crazy bio lab where they have Ebola.
00:10:41.000 They have everything.
00:10:42.000 You name it, they've got it.
00:10:43.000 Everything that kills everybody.
00:10:45.000 And it's all these big, thick, plexiglass walls.
00:10:48.000 You're like, oh my god.
00:10:50.000 The guy was freaking me out.
00:10:51.000 Wow.
00:10:52.000 And me and Duncan were both like, oh my god, dude!
00:10:54.000 Are you in a suit too?
00:10:54.000 Are you in a suit?
00:10:55.000 No.
00:10:56.000 Oh.
00:10:56.000 No, no, no, no.
00:10:57.000 We only went into the administrative offices.
00:11:00.000 They did not let us onto the floor.
00:11:02.000 We didn't go anywhere near any diseases.
00:11:04.000 They just let us through the office.
00:11:06.000 But the doctor scared the fuck out of me.
00:11:09.000 Because what he was saying to me is, because our piece was all on bioweapons.
00:11:16.000 And one of the things, I interviewed this guy who was formerly from the Soviet Union.
00:11:22.000 I believe it's the Soviet Union.
00:11:23.000 It might have been Ukraine.
00:11:24.000 I think it was Soviet Union.
00:11:26.000 And when he left, he was saying that they at one point in time had literal vats of anthrax.
00:11:34.000 Just like a giant fucking swimming pool filled with anthrax.
00:11:41.000 He said they had so much of it.
00:11:44.000 Bioweapons were a big part of the strategy.
00:11:47.000 If everything goes fucked, if we just decide to start killing each other, if we decide to start nuking each other, that was one of the things they were going to do.
00:11:54.000 Did they use Anthrax and NOM? I don't believe so.
00:11:57.000 What's Agent Orange?
00:11:58.000 The same thing?
00:11:59.000 No, no.
00:11:59.000 Agent Orange is a defoliation.
00:12:03.000 It's Agent Orange that would spray on the plants so they could find the people in the jungle.
00:12:07.000 Is it orange?
00:12:09.000 That's a good question.
00:12:10.000 Like if I saw it?
00:12:11.000 Right, that's a good question.
00:12:12.000 Why orange?
00:12:12.000 Right.
00:12:13.000 Why not yellow?
00:12:14.000 I don't know what it looks like.
00:12:14.000 There's another word for it, right?
00:12:16.000 What was the other word for Agent Orange?
00:12:19.000 It was like a technical term.
00:12:20.000 Because if they use it in Vietnam, they should just call it Agent Yellow.
00:12:26.000 No.
00:12:27.000 Cut that out!
00:12:30.000 I've always said that Asian people take jokes better than anybody.
00:12:33.000 You know why?
00:12:34.000 Why?
00:12:34.000 All emojis are yellow.
00:12:35.000 No one complains.
00:12:38.000 It's true.
00:12:39.000 They don't complain.
00:12:39.000 Yeah.
00:12:40.000 Yellow thumbs up, yellow smiley face guy, yellow girl.
00:12:44.000 Everyone's yellow.
00:12:44.000 No one complains.
00:12:45.000 People...
00:12:46.000 Get mad at me because I allow comics to do Asian accents in front of me, and I laugh at it because I think it's funny, but then people think that I'm like a, you know, like an Uncle Chang, you know what I mean?
00:12:58.000 Right, right, right.
00:12:59.000 No.
00:13:00.000 Listen, first of all, those people are all your friends.
00:13:03.000 And friends mock each other all the time.
00:13:05.000 Yeah!
00:13:05.000 My friends mock me for being short.
00:13:07.000 They mock me for being bald.
00:13:08.000 They mock me for being old.
00:13:10.000 It's fun.
00:13:11.000 It's fun.
00:13:11.000 If they mock me for being...
00:13:12.000 See, the thing is, mocking me for being Italian, it doesn't work.
00:13:16.000 Like, no one cares.
00:13:17.000 Yeah.
00:13:17.000 It's not a bad one.
00:13:18.000 Yeah.
00:13:18.000 That's why you can call Italians guineas, and nobody gives a shit.
00:13:21.000 They'll call each other guineas, you can call them guineas, no one cares.
00:13:24.000 Because people don't really hate Italians.
00:13:26.000 They find them annoying, like the gold chain ones, those guys.
00:13:31.000 Some of them are a little, but that's also part of the flavor of that culture.
00:13:36.000 It's fun.
00:13:37.000 But Asian hate is a different kind of hate.
00:13:41.000 Because Asian hate, like, legitimately people will walk up to Asian people and punch them after COVID. Oh yeah, I saw it.
00:13:49.000 It's fucking wild.
00:13:51.000 Wild, yeah.
00:13:52.000 I mean, that's just strict racist hate, walking right up to someone and punching them.
00:13:58.000 Like an old man.
00:13:59.000 Old men, old ladies.
00:14:00.000 Yeah.
00:14:02.000 It's wild.
00:14:03.000 And they don't even know what kind of Asian it is.
00:14:05.000 It could be someone from the Philippines.
00:14:06.000 It could be someone from China.
00:14:07.000 They have no fucking idea.
00:14:09.000 They're just hitting people.
00:14:10.000 It was fucking terrible, yeah.
00:14:11.000 Terrifying.
00:14:11.000 Yeah.
00:14:11.000 That shit's real.
00:14:12.000 Yeah.
00:14:13.000 But when it comes to comedy, like back in the day, you're backstage with a bunch of comics.
00:14:18.000 We see all kinds of fucked up shit.
00:14:19.000 We try to make each other laugh, and it's hard to make us laugh.
00:14:22.000 Or shock.
00:14:23.000 Yeah, or shock.
00:14:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:14:24.000 Well, shock to make you laugh.
00:14:26.000 Yeah.
00:14:26.000 The shocking thing is just to go, what the fuck is wrong with you?
00:14:29.000 Yeah.
00:14:30.000 How many times are we in the green room and Joey Diaz will say something like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
00:14:36.000 And we're on the ground laughing.
00:14:37.000 But that's what he's trying to do.
00:14:39.000 He's not a bad person.
00:14:40.000 He's trying to make you laugh.
00:14:42.000 And then we do it, you know, publicly around, you know, on podcasts and stuff, and people just get fucking crazy.
00:14:48.000 You know what it's like?
00:14:50.000 It's...
00:14:50.000 It's like being around any person that's used to a certain thing.
00:14:55.000 Have you ever been around soldiers, especially special operator guys, Navy SEAL type dudes?
00:15:02.000 They get a couple of drinks and they start talking war stories.
00:15:05.000 Holy shit.
00:15:07.000 They're funny.
00:15:08.000 They're funny stories about people getting blown up.
00:15:11.000 They have funny stories about it.
00:15:12.000 And guess what?
00:15:14.000 You can't bring that up at the fucking PTA meeting.
00:15:18.000 You have to be around like-minded people that understand those kind of experiences to be able to talk about them.
00:15:24.000 Cops, some of the cops I know have the most fucked up senses of humor.
00:15:27.000 They've seen so much.
00:15:29.000 They need a release valve, man.
00:15:30.000 They need fucking something to let out all the gunshot victims and all the deaths and highway, all the things they see, man.
00:15:37.000 They see so much.
00:15:39.000 Also, these port cities back in the day, right?
00:15:42.000 You'd have different races and stuff, and they didn't speak the language.
00:15:46.000 And the way they would connect is make fun of each other and people's accents.
00:15:51.000 You bonded that way.
00:15:53.000 But that was the nicest thing they could do to each other back then.
00:15:55.000 Those poor cities were just filled with violence.
00:15:57.000 Yeah, probably, yeah.
00:15:58.000 Violence.
00:15:59.000 It's all gangs in New York.
00:16:00.000 That's what it was like, man.
00:16:02.000 That's real.
00:16:03.000 When people came here from other countries, like my ancestors came here, or my grandparents came here in the 1920s.
00:16:10.000 They came from Italy, and on my father's side they came from Ireland.
00:16:14.000 One from Ireland, he was from Ireland, the mother's from Italy.
00:16:17.000 They're all immigrants.
00:16:18.000 Everybody's an immigrant.
00:16:20.000 Those people that came to that place, they all were so wild.
00:16:24.000 They were willing to get on a boat with their kids and travel across the ocean.
00:16:28.000 You didn't know if you had a job.
00:16:31.000 You didn't know what it looked like.
00:16:32.000 You had to look at a drawing of it.
00:16:35.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:16:36.000 I mean, somebody had to tell you.
00:16:38.000 You had to get a letter from Uncle Pete.
00:16:41.000 Yeah.
00:16:42.000 You know, I made it to America.
00:16:43.000 I got a job in the shipyard.
00:16:45.000 It's great.
00:16:45.000 I'm making, you know, 50 bucks a month.
00:16:47.000 And then they're like, oh, 50 bucks a month.
00:16:49.000 And then they get in their boat with their babies.
00:16:52.000 Yeah.
00:16:52.000 Those were wild people.
00:16:54.000 And like the Chinese, right?
00:16:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:16:56.000 They had three options.
00:16:58.000 I could do laundry, right?
00:17:00.000 Dynamite Detail Railroad, right?
00:17:03.000 Opium Den.
00:17:04.000 Restaurant.
00:17:04.000 Oh, restaurant!
00:17:05.000 I'm Opium Den.
00:17:06.000 Yeah.
00:17:07.000 Back in the day?
00:17:08.000 Yeah, you would be a cool Opium Den.
00:17:09.000 I would have the best one.
00:17:09.000 Yeah, you'd play with Bobby Lee's.
00:17:11.000 Right?
00:17:12.000 I'd lay them down on a nice, like, you know what I mean?
00:17:14.000 Felt mattress.
00:17:15.000 Oh, you'd have cool lighting.
00:17:15.000 Yeah, you'd have great lighting.
00:17:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:17.000 Ride the dragon.
00:17:19.000 Ride the dragon.
00:17:20.000 I would stick it in their mouth.
00:17:21.000 Yeah.
00:17:21.000 Light it for them.
00:17:22.000 Yeah.
00:17:22.000 Right?
00:17:23.000 And then touch their head as they're going over.
00:17:25.000 Right.
00:17:25.000 Just like, oh.
00:17:26.000 Right, right.
00:17:29.000 Yeah.
00:17:29.000 Like in that movie, Once Upon a Time in America.
00:17:33.000 Yeah.
00:17:34.000 De Niro was like fucked up on opiates.
00:17:38.000 Everybody got fucked up on it once you did it.
00:17:40.000 Yeah.
00:17:41.000 They get fucked up.
00:17:42.000 That's what's wild about social media.
00:17:44.000 Social media is addictive and it doesn't even feel good.
00:17:49.000 Opium, at least you feel great!
00:17:52.000 Yeah.
00:17:53.000 You feel great!
00:17:54.000 Look at all these dudes in an opium den.
00:17:55.000 Oh my god.
00:17:56.000 Mine would look so much better than that.
00:17:57.000 I had Peter Berg on.
00:17:58.000 You know, Peter Berg did that.
00:17:59.000 You know, he's amazing.
00:18:00.000 He's done a million things.
00:18:01.000 That guy's the shit.
00:18:02.000 But he did that Netflix series, Painkiller.
00:18:06.000 The one on the Sackler family.
00:18:09.000 Didn't see it.
00:18:09.000 Holy shit, dude.
00:18:11.000 The opioid crisis.
00:18:12.000 But he told me that he tried it once.
00:18:14.000 He said, I tried I tried OxyContin once, recreationally, and he was like, oh my god, get this the fuck away from me.
00:18:21.000 He goes, it was great.
00:18:23.000 It just makes you feel so good.
00:18:26.000 That's the problem.
00:18:27.000 That's the problem with those goddamn things.
00:18:28.000 Well, when I was on MADtv and I relapsed, because at 13 years I got on MADtv, I got addicted to Vicodin.
00:18:35.000 And I was taking like 30 or 40 a day.
00:18:37.000 And when I got off of that shit, dude, it was the worst detox I've ever fucking felt.
00:18:45.000 And then I had to do a Connie Chung sketch on Mad.
00:18:48.000 Two days into fucking detoxing, and I shit my pants on camera.
00:18:52.000 And they didn't air it.
00:18:54.000 Because you shit your pants?
00:18:55.000 Yeah, I went, good evening, I'm Connie.
00:18:56.000 Played Connie Chung.
00:18:57.000 Right.
00:18:58.000 And I'm shaking.
00:18:59.000 Oh boy.
00:19:00.000 Good evening, I'm Connie.
00:19:01.000 As I said Connie, I pooed, and I had stockings, and then I had a wardrobe wipe it.
00:19:05.000 Oh boy.
00:19:06.000 It was fucking terrible.
00:19:07.000 It was fucking terrible.
00:19:08.000 Oh boy.
00:19:08.000 And I got sober then, but it's like, yeah, if I get it, opiates are the worst.
00:19:11.000 What other job can you do that?
00:19:14.000 And they're like, just clean him up.
00:19:16.000 He's really good.
00:19:17.000 And McDonald's?
00:19:18.000 You're out.
00:19:18.000 You're out.
00:19:19.000 You're gone.
00:19:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:20.000 We try to finish.
00:19:21.000 You're working for Apple?
00:19:22.000 That's a wrap.
00:19:23.000 That's a wrap.
00:19:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:25.000 Even on stage- You're in the Genius Bar and you shave your pants.
00:19:28.000 That's it, Bobby.
00:19:29.000 Yeah.
00:19:29.000 No more.
00:19:30.000 Even on stage, you can go to a guy and go, fuck you.
00:19:33.000 Yeah.
00:19:34.000 In comedy, you don't get fired for that.
00:19:36.000 It's fucking amazing.
00:19:37.000 It's amazing.
00:19:37.000 If you did that at Jamba Juice, you're done.
00:19:40.000 Right.
00:19:42.000 But I remember you telling me a story how you had been up all night and you got back to MADtv.
00:19:50.000 You had to get there for something.
00:19:52.000 Was it a table read or what?
00:19:54.000 You had a giant knife on you.
00:19:55.000 You're super paranoid and tweaking.
00:19:57.000 Oh yeah.
00:19:58.000 He said you were carrying like a Bowie knife.
00:20:01.000 Yeah.
00:20:01.000 And sometimes a Klingon, one of those guys that love Star Trek, he's got a Klingon knife.
00:20:07.000 How pink was it?
00:20:08.000 It was like this long.
00:20:09.000 I still have it by my bed, right?
00:20:10.000 And I was sticking right here, right?
00:20:11.000 And an open Hawaiian shirt.
00:20:13.000 And I was breaking out.
00:20:16.000 That's what it looks like?
00:20:17.000 That's what it looked like, yeah.
00:20:18.000 That's pretty dope.
00:20:19.000 That is actually pretty dope.
00:20:20.000 That's what Klingons would carry around?
00:20:22.000 Yeah.
00:20:22.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:20:23.000 They have spaceships, so they still need knives.
00:20:26.000 It seems like you don't have a better weapon.
00:20:29.000 I never thought of it that way.
00:20:30.000 Well, first of all, they didn't even have the fucking internet.
00:20:33.000 Right.
00:20:33.000 It's the dumbest show ever.
00:20:34.000 And they had walkie-talkies.
00:20:35.000 They hadn't even figured out phones yet.
00:20:37.000 I never thought of it that way.
00:20:38.000 Like, Kirk out.
00:20:39.000 Click.
00:20:39.000 You'd have to hang out.
00:20:40.000 Right.
00:20:40.000 You'd have to hang out.
00:20:41.000 You would think they would have like a...
00:20:42.000 Nothing!
00:20:42.000 Yeah, something.
00:20:43.000 But yet they could beam you up.
00:20:45.000 You literally take your body and reconstitute it.
00:20:48.000 It's still a good show.
00:20:49.000 It's a great show.
00:20:50.000 It's still a good sci-fi show.
00:20:52.000 Listen, I love Star Trek.
00:20:53.000 Next Generation?
00:20:54.000 No, first one.
00:20:54.000 The real one.
00:20:55.000 The old one.
00:20:56.000 I'm sorry.
00:20:58.000 I'll back up.
00:20:59.000 I'm sorry.
00:21:00.000 You're wrong.
00:21:02.000 I'm not wrong.
00:21:03.000 Can I just say something?
00:21:04.000 I can't be wrong for liking something.
00:21:06.000 I understand that.
00:21:07.000 I think that you're misinformed.
00:21:09.000 How so?
00:21:10.000 Because, and do me a favor, season five...
00:21:14.000 No.
00:21:16.000 I know, but can I just...
00:21:18.000 Just open your heart.
00:21:20.000 It's open.
00:21:21.000 Okay, so may I say what I'm gonna say?
00:21:22.000 Right.
00:21:23.000 May I? Yes, please.
00:21:24.000 Alright.
00:21:25.000 Season five.
00:21:26.000 Okay.
00:21:26.000 Second to the last episode.
00:21:27.000 Okay.
00:21:28.000 The episode's called Inner Light.
00:21:29.000 I'm not gonna watch it.
00:21:30.000 I'm not asking you to.
00:21:32.000 I'm not asking you to.
00:21:33.000 But I'm asking your fans to check it out.
00:21:38.000 They're gonna yell at me.
00:21:39.000 That episode is the greatest piece of sci-fi ever filmed.
00:21:45.000 And Adam Egott hated Star Trek.
00:21:48.000 I forced him to watch this episode.
00:21:50.000 He watched every episode after that.
00:21:51.000 Really?
00:21:52.000 Yeah.
00:21:52.000 Okay, I'll watch it.
00:21:53.000 It's a great episode.
00:21:54.000 Okay, I will watch it.
00:21:54.000 Okay, thank you.
00:21:55.000 Now I changed my mind.
00:21:56.000 I will watch it.
00:21:56.000 See, your heart was open.
00:21:57.000 It looks interesting.
00:21:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:21:58.000 It looks interesting because he's walking around in church.
00:22:00.000 Okay.
00:22:01.000 See what he's got to say.
00:22:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:03.000 Maybe he's on a vision quest.
00:22:04.000 No, the concept is great.
00:22:06.000 Okay.
00:22:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:07.000 I believe you.
00:22:07.000 Okay, good.
00:22:08.000 Thank you.
00:22:09.000 I like the old one just for nostalgic purposes, because I'm old.
00:22:12.000 And because when I was a kid, that was on television.
00:22:15.000 I remember watching Star Trek, Captain Kirk, like, oh my god, he's the coolest.
00:22:18.000 Yeah, it was the best.
00:22:19.000 You know, and it was also, it's so corny.
00:22:22.000 Like, if you watch it today, It's gone to this point where it becomes funny.
00:22:26.000 It's parody.
00:22:27.000 There's a scene where Captain Kirk has a fight with a lizard man on a planet.
00:22:35.000 Have you ever seen it?
00:22:37.000 It's the dumbest fight scene ever.
00:22:39.000 It's right up there with the six million dollar man versus Bigfoot.
00:22:42.000 That's the dumbest one.
00:22:43.000 But this one's pretty dumb.
00:22:45.000 Look how handsome he was.
00:22:46.000 First of all, This lizard is so goddamn slow, I would fuck this lizard up.
00:22:52.000 I would fuck him up, dude.
00:22:56.000 Look how slow he is.
00:22:58.000 Bro, I would fuck him up.
00:23:00.000 I would be leg kicking him right now.
00:23:01.000 Whap!
00:23:02.000 Whap!
00:23:03.000 I'd take them knees out.
00:23:04.000 Oh, what a shitty body kick!
00:23:05.000 Wow.
00:23:07.000 He fights like Brendan Schaub a little bit.
00:23:09.000 But all he did is throw him.
00:23:11.000 Brandon Schaub was a good fighter.
00:23:12.000 You better shut your mouth.
00:23:13.000 He knocked out Mirko Koko.
00:23:14.000 I'm kidding.
00:23:15.000 I love him.
00:23:16.000 So look at this.
00:23:17.000 He's right next to you and he's not even biting you.
00:23:19.000 This is the biggest pussy lizard of all time.
00:23:22.000 He's not even biting!
00:23:24.000 He's not biting!
00:23:25.000 The neck is right there.
00:23:26.000 He's got a giant mouth full with teeth.
00:23:29.000 Easily he could bite.
00:23:30.000 There's no restraint keeping him from biting.
00:23:34.000 Oh, that was a good ear move.
00:23:35.000 Captain Kirk, he hit him with the ears.
00:23:37.000 Oh, he hurt him with the ears!
00:23:38.000 So what does he do?
00:23:39.000 He runs away like a pussy.
00:23:41.000 Now he's gonna throw rocks at him.
00:23:46.000 Yeah.
00:23:46.000 You gotta hit him in the ear, bro.
00:23:48.000 Get close.
00:23:49.000 The guy's slow as fuck.
00:23:51.000 Look at him.
00:23:52.000 This is so dumb.
00:23:53.000 This is so dumb.
00:23:55.000 This is so dumb.
00:23:56.000 It hurts my feelings.
00:23:57.000 But imagine shooting that that day.
00:23:59.000 It's so hot.
00:24:00.000 That guy in the lizard suit, oh my god.
00:24:02.000 Oh, he's sweating his dick off.
00:24:03.000 Yeah.
00:24:04.000 He's having it rough.
00:24:04.000 Because that's probably Burbank or somewhere.
00:24:06.000 Yeah.
00:24:07.000 That totally looks like it could be California, doesn't it?
00:24:10.000 Yeah, they must have shot it.
00:24:11.000 Oh, he's gonna pick up the rock.
00:24:12.000 Look how fake that rock looks.
00:24:14.000 What's he gonna throw that rock?
00:24:16.000 All you have to do is just get out of the way now.
00:24:18.000 Don't stand there.
00:24:20.000 Look, get out of the fucking way, bro!
00:24:25.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:24:26.000 How casual did he get out of the way?
00:24:28.000 Because he knew it wasn't a real rock.
00:24:30.000 Yeah.
00:24:30.000 Remember when that guy threw the shoe at the bush?
00:24:33.000 This is picture-perfect, terrible acting.
00:24:35.000 Yeah.
00:24:36.000 Picture-perfect, terrible choreography.
00:24:38.000 Everything about it is hilarious.
00:24:39.000 Does it end?
00:24:40.000 That was it.
00:24:40.000 Yeah.
00:24:41.000 He doesn't kill him?
00:24:42.000 He ran away.
00:24:42.000 That's it?
00:24:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:24:44.000 How dumb.
00:24:46.000 I love that show.
00:24:47.000 Yeah, it reminds me of old Godzilla's.
00:24:49.000 You remember when Captain Kirk hooked up with that green lady?
00:24:52.000 It was a big deal.
00:24:53.000 Would you have?
00:24:54.000 Yeah!
00:24:55.000 I would have fucked the Avatar ladies.
00:24:57.000 So if you and I had a...
00:24:58.000 The Avatar ladies?
00:24:59.000 That lady's hot.
00:25:00.000 On Pandora?
00:25:02.000 I don't know.
00:25:02.000 It looks blue.
00:25:03.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:25:05.000 The one that he eventually winds up with?
00:25:07.000 Yeah.
00:25:08.000 She's hot.
00:25:09.000 But you know how the creatures connect with the tails or whatever, then they communicate?
00:25:12.000 Yeah.
00:25:12.000 Does that come out of the vagina, too?
00:25:13.000 I don't know.
00:25:14.000 I don't think they have a vagina.
00:25:16.000 Oh.
00:25:17.000 I think you just link up like that and you come in your mind.
00:25:19.000 Oh, you come?
00:25:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:25:20.000 I'd love to come in my mind.
00:25:20.000 Who knows how the babies even get there?
00:25:22.000 I can't.
00:25:23.000 Can I ask you?
00:25:24.000 They have things over their dicks, so they must have dicks, right?
00:25:29.000 They all had loincloths.
00:25:30.000 Yeah.
00:25:30.000 But I'm 52, Joe.
00:25:32.000 I can't come.
00:25:34.000 You can't come?
00:25:35.000 I come every other time.
00:25:37.000 Every other time.
00:25:38.000 That's good.
00:25:38.000 But you know what?
00:25:39.000 I like edging.
00:25:41.000 But how much are you fucking?
00:25:42.000 Are you trying to fuck every day?
00:25:43.000 Or jerk off every day?
00:25:44.000 Maybe you're running out of jizz.
00:25:46.000 Maybe you just have a small factory, you know, and you're just demanding too much output.
00:25:50.000 No, my factory's pretty big, dude.
00:25:51.000 Your balls are big?
00:25:52.000 For my size, yeah.
00:25:54.000 Yeah, but like for normal humans, when you hit 52, like how often are you coming?
00:25:59.000 Every other day.
00:26:00.000 That's reasonable.
00:26:01.000 That's reasonable.
00:26:01.000 But when I'm in the sack with a woman, psychologically, I can't do it.
00:26:05.000 So do you just fake it?
00:26:06.000 I pull out.
00:26:06.000 Spit on her?
00:26:07.000 No.
00:26:08.000 I dim the lights, and I do it back.
00:26:11.000 I go back.
00:26:12.000 You go back.
00:26:13.000 Yeah.
00:26:13.000 So I go, and I go back to the wall.
00:26:16.000 Good move.
00:26:17.000 In the dark.
00:26:18.000 Oh, and act it out.
00:26:19.000 Good actor, right?
00:26:21.000 Epilepsy.
00:26:21.000 Right.
00:26:22.000 And I go straight to the bathroom like I'm washing it.
00:26:24.000 Whoa.
00:26:25.000 So they can't see the cum.
00:26:26.000 That's a good move.
00:26:27.000 Thank you.
00:26:28.000 It's a good move.
00:26:29.000 You want to be deceptive.
00:26:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:26:31.000 I guess that's not a terrible thing to deceive people about, whether or not you come.
00:26:36.000 Yeah, I mean, but I feel bad.
00:26:37.000 Girls are all guilty of it.
00:26:39.000 Yeah, but I don't want them to feel bad like they're not hot.
00:26:41.000 It has nothing to do with them.
00:26:42.000 I get it.
00:26:43.000 I'm just being like a nice guy.
00:26:46.000 That's so sweet of you.
00:26:47.000 I'm super sensitive.
00:26:48.000 But it's like, because I was in a 10-year thing and now I'm like single, so I'm just experimenting.
00:26:52.000 I get it.
00:26:52.000 Yeah.
00:26:53.000 I get it.
00:26:53.000 You do?
00:26:54.000 Yeah.
00:26:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:56.000 It's still fun though.
00:26:57.000 Yeah, you're having a good time, Bobby.
00:26:58.000 Yeah, I am.
00:26:59.000 As long as you're enjoying life, that's what you should be doing.
00:27:01.000 You should be enjoying life.
00:27:03.000 You know, Joe, may I say?
00:27:04.000 Yes.
00:27:05.000 I am.
00:27:05.000 That's beautiful.
00:27:06.000 Because when you weren't enjoying life, it bothered me.
00:27:08.000 It bothered me because I love you, and you're such a nice guy, and you get weirded out by so many different things.
00:27:14.000 Like what?
00:27:15.000 You were just always paranoid that people didn't like you, and you were always weirded out by stuff.
00:27:22.000 Even me and you.
00:27:23.000 We hadn't seen each other for six months.
00:27:25.000 You still like me?
00:27:26.000 I'm like, I love you.
00:27:27.000 What are you talking about?
00:27:27.000 Give me a hug.
00:27:29.000 Because we have history!
00:27:31.000 Yeah, but our history is all beautiful.
00:27:32.000 It's a beautiful history.
00:27:33.000 We have history of, we've never been in an argument.
00:27:35.000 No.
00:27:35.000 We've never yelled at each other.
00:27:36.000 No.
00:27:36.000 We've always had good times.
00:27:37.000 Yeah.
00:27:38.000 We've had a lot of laughs.
00:27:39.000 We have.
00:27:39.000 Oh my God.
00:27:40.000 Some great laughs.
00:27:40.000 Oh my God.
00:27:41.000 We've had moments where I even recall that you probably don't even remember.
00:27:47.000 Like one time you and I were at the Comedy Store.
00:27:49.000 We're in the patio and Eddie Griffin bumped us.
00:27:52.000 Right?
00:27:53.000 And we were talking shit.
00:27:54.000 So this must be early days.
00:27:56.000 Early days.
00:27:56.000 Back in the day.
00:27:57.000 90s, right?
00:27:58.000 90s, right?
00:27:59.000 Wow!
00:27:59.000 And then I remember there was a black guy near us listening and he told Eddie Griffin that we were talking shit about him and he confronted us.
00:28:08.000 Yeah.
00:28:08.000 I remember that.
00:28:10.000 And we were like, fuck off, you know what I mean?
00:28:11.000 But it was like...
00:28:12.000 Because you remember, he used to do hours.
00:28:14.000 Yeah, well, he would do three hours.
00:28:15.000 He would go on at 9 o'clock, and your spot would be at 9.15, and he would do three hours.
00:28:20.000 It was him.
00:28:22.000 Dice would do it sometimes.
00:28:24.000 Mencia would do it all the time.
00:28:25.000 Oh, my God.
00:28:26.000 Oh, my God.
00:28:26.000 Yeah, but the thing is, it was kind of the culture of the Comedy Store, in Eddie's defense, is that if you reach a certain level of fame, and at the time, Eddie was definitely more famous than us, and he was...
00:28:39.000 I still, to this day, maintain that Eddie Griffin's set on Def Jam was one of the best fucking...
00:28:45.000 I don't know, was it 10 minutes, 15 minutes, whatever he did?
00:28:48.000 It was one of the best sets I've ever seen.
00:28:51.000 He had shorts on...
00:28:53.000 Remember?
00:28:54.000 And he has so much energy, man.
00:28:57.000 I'm pretty sure I was in New York at the time when I watched it.
00:29:00.000 I was like, God damn, this fucking dude is talented.
00:29:03.000 Yeah, I'm not questioning his skill set.
00:29:05.000 But it's the culture thing.
00:29:06.000 This is what I was gonna say.
00:29:07.000 There was a thing at the store.
00:29:08.000 When you reached a certain level of prominence, you were allowed to just do whatever the fuck you wanted.
00:29:14.000 And people would show up, and apparently Kennison used to do that, and a lot of guys used to do that.
00:29:18.000 But do ours?
00:29:20.000 I get it, man.
00:29:20.000 I don't agree with it.
00:29:22.000 You wouldn't do it?
00:29:22.000 No.
00:29:23.000 But there's certain guys did.
00:29:25.000 Certain guys that are really good did.
00:29:27.000 Chappelle did it.
00:29:28.000 There's a bunch of guys who did it.
00:29:29.000 It was a thing that you were allowed to do there.
00:29:32.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:29:33.000 And it was like...
00:29:34.000 I think we probably all should have talked about it.
00:29:37.000 Yeah.
00:29:37.000 And said, hey, this is kind of crazy.
00:29:39.000 Yeah.
00:29:39.000 But...
00:29:40.000 I still to this day went to Emily and I go, give me a list right now of the people that are allowed to bump me.
00:29:47.000 Right.
00:29:48.000 She goes, I'll get back to you.
00:29:50.000 Nobody should be allowed to bump you.
00:29:51.000 If someone wants to do a set, if a famous person is in town, they should ask you if it's okay.
00:29:57.000 That's how I feel.
00:29:58.000 I never bump anybody.
00:29:59.000 But it still happens.
00:30:01.000 No.
00:30:01.000 I know, but also, it's a thing that was the Comedy Store's mark that you had made to a certain level.
00:30:10.000 If you could show up, and some guys would try to get it, they would try to bump people, and I'm like, you're nobody.
00:30:15.000 Some people are crazy.
00:30:16.000 Crazy.
00:30:17.000 Crazy.
00:30:18.000 Delusional.
00:30:18.000 Yeah, they're like a YouTube person or someone who's on some show, literally, like someone who's on some show that you've never heard of that was on like the WB or something like that.
00:30:27.000 What are you talking about?
00:30:28.000 There's a few guys that like wanted to try that juice before because it was that thing.
00:30:33.000 Like when someone would show up, whoever it was, some Chris Rock would show up, he would just go on stage.
00:30:38.000 That's it.
00:30:39.000 Chris Rock goes on stage when he gets there.
00:30:40.000 But he's on the list.
00:30:41.000 I have a list.
00:30:42.000 Of people that are allowed to buy.
00:30:43.000 Yeah, you're on the list.
00:30:44.000 Okay.
00:30:45.000 You wouldn't do it, but you're on it.
00:30:47.000 Yeah, I don't do it.
00:30:48.000 Yeah.
00:30:48.000 Chris Rock's on the list.
00:30:50.000 Chappelle's on the list.
00:30:51.000 Bill Burr's on the list.
00:30:51.000 Makes sense.
00:30:52.000 Right?
00:30:52.000 But then there are people, you know what I mean, that aren't.
00:30:55.000 And they do it, and it drives me fucking crazy.
00:30:57.000 Well, it's a weird thing.
00:30:58.000 It's like you're trying to appease the talent.
00:31:01.000 You never know who's really going to make it big, and you don't want to piss them off now.
00:31:05.000 Ugh.
00:31:07.000 I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that.
00:31:09.000 I know.
00:31:09.000 I always told people, be nice to comedy club owners because you don't want to be one.
00:31:13.000 That was my advice always to comics because they always get mad at comedy club owners.
00:31:16.000 I go, listen, man, you do not want to be one of these people and we fucking need them.
00:31:20.000 This is a crazy job.
00:31:21.000 You're dealing with maniacs that may or may not take their flight, might show up drunk, might get arrested Friday night after the first show.
00:31:29.000 Imagine you're feeding your family based on these fucking maniacs that come in every week.
00:31:35.000 I know, I know, I know.
00:31:35.000 I mean, these people are regular people.
00:31:37.000 I would go to comedy clubs, and I would look at the office and see the calendar, and it would always say Pablo Francisco with a question mark.
00:31:44.000 Oh, yeah.
00:31:44.000 Pablo was a rock.
00:31:45.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:31:46.000 So it's like, I get it.
00:31:47.000 Yeah, look, Pablo is fucking insanely talented.
00:31:50.000 He's so talented.
00:31:50.000 Oh my God.
00:31:51.000 Pablo goes to the basement.
00:31:53.000 He gets in there.
00:31:54.000 He goes and looks around those dark corners, son.
00:31:57.000 He goes out there.
00:31:58.000 He goes into the tunnel.
00:32:00.000 And I've, you know, I just feel so sad about it, but he could have been the biggest thing.
00:32:05.000 He should have been.
00:32:06.000 Yeah.
00:32:06.000 He should have been.
00:32:07.000 That's how talented.
00:32:07.000 He should have been huge.
00:32:08.000 In the 90s?
00:32:09.000 Oh my God.
00:32:09.000 Oh my God.
00:32:10.000 Crusher.
00:32:11.000 Destroyer and so fun to be around.
00:32:13.000 Yeah.
00:32:13.000 A sweetheart of a guy.
00:32:15.000 Nobody hated Pablo.
00:32:17.000 Sweetheart of a guy.
00:32:18.000 Sweetheart.
00:32:19.000 Every time people were around him, you wanted to hug him.
00:32:21.000 Yeah.
00:32:21.000 But he had a skill set on stage that was like a combination between impressions and act outs.
00:32:26.000 And he had everything.
00:32:28.000 And funny jokes, too.
00:32:29.000 Yeah, funny jokes.
00:32:30.000 He had all of it together.
00:32:31.000 And just so likable.
00:32:33.000 Such a great guy.
00:32:34.000 Such a nice guy.
00:32:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:32:35.000 But yeah, I see that still to the same.
00:32:38.000 I was really lucky that the thing that I was into was weed.
00:32:46.000 And that the thing I was into made me terrified.
00:32:48.000 It made me paranoid.
00:32:51.000 It was the opposite of giving me courage.
00:32:53.000 It gave me no courage.
00:32:56.000 Marijuana was a courage killer.
00:32:58.000 It made me feel like courage was foolish.
00:33:01.000 You're so vulnerable.
00:33:02.000 Life is vulnerable.
00:33:03.000 And it made me appreciate people more.
00:33:06.000 Legitimately.
00:33:07.000 Do you perform when you're high sometimes?
00:33:10.000 All the time.
00:33:10.000 Do you ever lose your place or no?
00:33:12.000 No.
00:33:13.000 I take a lot of nootropics.
00:33:15.000 That's one of the keys.
00:33:16.000 Could I have one?
00:33:16.000 Yeah, take four of those.
00:33:18.000 That's Alpha Brain Black Label.
00:33:20.000 That stuff is the shit.
00:33:21.000 I've always, whenever I see a show on your online, I always want to try your little things.
00:33:25.000 That's a good one to try.
00:33:26.000 And this is, you know, I'm affiliated with this company, obviously, but this is not the only one that I try.
00:33:33.000 I'll tell people about some stuff that I have no affiliation with.
00:33:36.000 NeuroGum is one of them.
00:33:37.000 We always keep NeuroGum in the studio.
00:33:39.000 Can I have a packet of NeuroGum when I leave?
00:33:41.000 We can have one right now.
00:33:42.000 Give me a packet please.
00:33:44.000 I'm not gonna do it.
00:33:45.000 I'll do it later.
00:33:46.000 We should get some more.
00:33:47.000 We're probably running dry.
00:33:48.000 We go through four or five fucking boxes of that stuff.
00:33:51.000 And NeuroGum really works?
00:33:53.000 Oh yeah, 100%.
00:33:53.000 Oh wow.
00:33:54.000 It's got theanine in it and caffeine and a couple other things and what it does is it enhances your memory.
00:33:59.000 It enhances your brain's ability to form sentences.
00:34:02.000 Whoa.
00:34:03.000 Yeah, well with AlphaBrain, we did two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies at the Boston Center for Memory, and it showed increase in alpha flow state, it showed increase in verbal memory, increase in, I think it was reaction time,
00:34:18.000 but it does something.
00:34:20.000 And we did it at a dose that's half of what I take.
00:34:23.000 I take four, sometimes I take six, if I'm feeling fresh.
00:34:28.000 Like, if I'm talking to a scientist...
00:34:30.000 Does it hit right away or no?
00:34:31.000 No.
00:34:31.000 Okay.
00:34:32.000 No, it'll take a while.
00:34:32.000 If I'm talking to a scientist, I'll take a shitload of them.
00:34:36.000 I'll take six.
00:34:37.000 Oh, like Lex?
00:34:38.000 Mm-hmm.
00:34:39.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:34:39.000 I love that guy.
00:34:41.000 He's awesome.
00:34:42.000 He's awesome.
00:34:42.000 But I mean, any scientist, like, any time I'm talking to someone who's, like, explaining to me some very complicated things about the universe...
00:34:49.000 Yeah.
00:34:49.000 Like, I don't want any fogginess.
00:34:50.000 I want to be, like, locked in.
00:34:52.000 See, that was one of my fears of doing your show, is science and the things that you guys talk about.
00:34:58.000 I know, I'm just saying.
00:35:00.000 I was like, I don't know nothing about anything.
00:35:02.000 You don't have to.
00:35:03.000 Okay.
00:35:03.000 No, no, no, no.
00:35:05.000 I know film.
00:35:06.000 I know some film.
00:35:07.000 Listen, you're my friend, and we have had conversations thousands of times.
00:35:11.000 That's all this is.
00:35:12.000 It's just you and I having a conversation.
00:35:14.000 Do you remember when we first met?
00:35:15.000 Remember when we first met at the strip club in San Diego?
00:35:19.000 Can I say something?
00:35:23.000 But can I just say something about it?
00:35:24.000 Yes.
00:35:25.000 I think I might be wrong the way you're saying it, maybe.
00:35:27.000 How so?
00:35:29.000 Let's go by.
00:35:30.000 So, you were headlining La Jolla.
00:35:32.000 Yes.
00:35:33.000 I was a doorman.
00:35:34.000 Yes.
00:35:34.000 Right?
00:35:35.000 And I think Diaz was there.
00:35:37.000 I believe so.
00:35:38.000 Yeah, I think he was there, right?
00:35:39.000 I knew Diaz.
00:35:40.000 Right.
00:35:40.000 So he goes, hey, let's go to the strip club with Joe.
00:35:44.000 And I was trying to be a host.
00:35:46.000 Was this 95?
00:35:47.000 Yeah, 95, 96. Okay.
00:35:49.000 Right?
00:35:50.000 Wow.
00:35:50.000 And I was a kid.
00:35:51.000 Right.
00:35:51.000 I was enamored by you.
00:35:53.000 You know what I mean?
00:35:53.000 Not enamored, but I was like- I doubt it.
00:35:55.000 I wasn't even famous back then.
00:35:56.000 No, but still, you were a headliner.
00:35:57.000 I was an emcee.
00:35:58.000 Right?
00:35:59.000 Right, right, right.
00:35:59.000 So then we go to the strip club.
00:36:01.000 Okay.
00:36:01.000 Right?
00:36:02.000 And it's deja vu.
00:36:04.000 Okay.
00:36:04.000 Okay?
00:36:05.000 Okay.
00:36:05.000 And I wanted to go like, I'm from San Diego.
00:36:08.000 I know the ropes.
00:36:09.000 I know the people.
00:36:11.000 I didn't.
00:36:12.000 Okay.
00:36:12.000 Of course I didn't.
00:36:13.000 That's not really what happened.
00:36:14.000 No, but we sat there.
00:36:16.000 Okay.
00:36:16.000 And then there were gang members there.
00:36:18.000 Right.
00:36:18.000 Right?
00:36:19.000 And then, I don't know what the problem was, but there was a problem between.
00:36:23.000 I'll tell you the problem.
00:36:23.000 Okay.
00:36:24.000 Okay, there's one of the gang members who's dating one of the strippers.
00:36:27.000 Okay.
00:36:27.000 And when he was over there talking to the stripper, you went over and tried to get the stripper to give you a lap dance.
00:36:34.000 And when you did that, I saw the look in his eyes, and I'll never forget, he had long, straight, black hair, this Mexican dude, with tattoos on his face.
00:36:43.000 In 95...
00:36:43.000 Only two teardrops.
00:36:45.000 That's fine.
00:36:46.000 Okay.
00:36:46.000 That's only two people he killed.
00:36:47.000 Okay.
00:36:48.000 And this is 95. Okay.
00:36:50.000 And you went over and I said, Bobby, what the fuck are you doing?
00:36:55.000 What the fuck are you doing?
00:36:56.000 I go, did you take a look at that guy's eyes?
00:36:58.000 Yeah.
00:36:58.000 I go, Bobby, these are like dangerous, real people.
00:37:01.000 And you're like, oh, shut the fuck up.
00:37:03.000 Nothing's gonna happen.
00:37:04.000 They ain't gonna do shit.
00:37:04.000 I go, okay, I'm out of here.
00:37:06.000 So I said, I'm leaving.
00:37:07.000 You can either come with me or not.
00:37:08.000 And I got up and left.
00:37:10.000 I saw where this was going.
00:37:11.000 They were getting up, Bobby.
00:37:12.000 They were moving around.
00:37:13.000 They were thinking about coming over to you.
00:37:14.000 And I got us right out the door.
00:37:16.000 And you barely got in my car.
00:37:18.000 You barely got in my car in time.
00:37:20.000 You were dilly-dallying, and someone had to yell at you.
00:37:22.000 And then we got you in the car and we took off.
00:37:24.000 I go, hey, Bobby, you were going to get a shot.
00:37:27.000 Like, for real.
00:37:28.000 Well, you saved my life.
00:37:29.000 I don't know if I saved your life, but I definitely saved you an ass ticket.
00:37:31.000 But also, if she's working there, she's on the clock?
00:37:35.000 No, just hear me out!
00:37:37.000 No, you're...
00:37:37.000 If I'm at McDonald's, right, and some womanically correct...
00:37:40.000 I'm technically correct.
00:37:42.000 Technically you're correct.
00:37:42.000 Ethically correct.
00:37:43.000 But she was over there talking to her gang member boyfriend, and you went over asking for a lap dance, and you just, like, stormed your way into their conversation.
00:37:52.000 You were going to die.
00:37:53.000 Can I just say something?
00:37:54.000 Yes, please.
00:37:55.000 I want to say something, okay?
00:37:56.000 Okay.
00:37:56.000 At the time, I found this out later, I thought that teardrops meant that he was emotional or something.
00:38:01.000 I didn't know about death.
00:38:02.000 Okay.
00:38:03.000 Even if he didn't have teardrops on his face, the look in that guy's eyes, the whole group of them, they were serious people.
00:38:10.000 I don't want to make assumptions about people!
00:38:12.000 Okay.
00:38:14.000 Do you have any self-preservation instincts whatsoever?
00:38:17.000 What do you mean?
00:38:18.000 What do you mean?
00:38:18.000 Did you have any self-preservation instincts?
00:38:20.000 Why from the suburbs?
00:38:21.000 We don't know danger that way.
00:38:22.000 We had no homeless.
00:38:23.000 We had surfers.
00:38:24.000 You should be just inherently like a child sees a dog's teeth and is scared of them.
00:38:29.000 You should see that guy growling and go, okay, this is real.
00:38:33.000 Joe, I'm 52 now.
00:38:35.000 I've never had anything happen to me.
00:38:36.000 So I feel like my instincts, right, are on point.
00:38:40.000 You're also very likable.
00:38:41.000 I'm likable.
00:38:42.000 People decide not to kill you.
00:38:43.000 I smile.
00:38:43.000 Yeah.
00:38:44.000 So, what the fuck, dog?
00:38:45.000 I go, yeah.
00:38:46.000 Yeah.
00:38:47.000 That's a good move.
00:38:48.000 That's a good move.
00:38:48.000 That's a good move.
00:38:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:38:49.000 But that was our introduction.
00:38:51.000 That's how we became friends.
00:38:52.000 Okay.
00:38:56.000 It didn't even fuck up our relationship.
00:38:58.000 It didn't fucking know.
00:38:59.000 We stayed friends.
00:39:00.000 I came to LA and then I think that grew.
00:39:03.000 What year did you come to LA? 97 or 98, like in that time period.
00:39:07.000 Boy, what a weird time at the store that was, huh?
00:39:09.000 The dark ages.
00:39:10.000 But it was really good for us.
00:39:12.000 Yeah.
00:39:13.000 Because you would go on stage in the OR and it'd be half full and it was like a real good place to fuck around and practice.
00:39:19.000 Oh, so the people that did it really did it because there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
00:39:25.000 Not anymore.
00:39:26.000 I think the store goes through eras, and it had gone through the Kinison era, and when Kinison died, I think there was a big drop-off.
00:39:32.000 It was terrible times.
00:39:34.000 On a Saturday night in the OR, they couldn't start the show without four people being in the audience, and there would be sometimes no show.
00:39:40.000 Yeah.
00:39:40.000 On a Saturday fucking night.
00:39:42.000 Yeah, it was crazy.
00:39:43.000 It was crazy, dude.
00:39:44.000 But then it came back.
00:39:45.000 It came back when the internet came around.
00:39:47.000 It came back in the early 2000s.
00:39:49.000 Yeah.
00:39:49.000 Yeah, it came back.
00:39:50.000 And I reaped the reward.
00:39:52.000 I'm so glad it didn't quit.
00:39:54.000 Yeah, I'm so glad you didn't quit, too.
00:39:55.000 Yeah, I saw, dude, I saw some crazy...
00:39:57.000 I saw one time at two in the morning.
00:40:00.000 I was working the door there.
00:40:01.000 Yeah?
00:40:02.000 And I saw people in purple robes go up into the belly room.
00:40:06.000 Uh-oh.
00:40:07.000 With candles.
00:40:08.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:40:09.000 Right?
00:40:09.000 So, you know how you can sneak up to the belly room through the green room with those offices and stuff, right?
00:40:14.000 Were they supposed to be up there?
00:40:15.000 Yeah.
00:40:16.000 Oh.
00:40:18.000 I'm not lying.
00:40:19.000 This is the 90s?
00:40:19.000 Yeah.
00:40:20.000 Okay.
00:40:21.000 Right?
00:40:21.000 I peek through, they formed a circle, and they had candles up.
00:40:26.000 What?
00:40:26.000 No, no, no, no, no baby eating.
00:40:27.000 Okay.
00:40:28.000 I'd have to report that.
00:40:29.000 Okay.
00:40:30.000 Okay?
00:40:30.000 And they were doing seances.
00:40:33.000 The comedy store, if any place is haunted, the comedy store is haunted.
00:40:36.000 They were trying to seance Andy Kaufman's ghost.
00:40:41.000 Oh.
00:40:41.000 And when I went back downstairs, the people that went with the robes, they came back down and they were in their regular clothes.
00:40:49.000 Lily Tomlin, Bob Zamuda.
00:40:52.000 Whoa.
00:40:54.000 I saw it with my own eyes.
00:40:55.000 Whoa.
00:40:56.000 It was fucking crazy.
00:40:58.000 Whoa.
00:40:59.000 Yeah.
00:40:59.000 Well, why not?
00:41:00.000 You know?
00:41:01.000 Yeah.
00:41:01.000 You get a little high.
00:41:02.000 Someone comes up with an idea.
00:41:03.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:41:04.000 Why do we have to wear the robes?
00:41:05.000 Because it'd be fun.
00:41:06.000 And then you get into the candles.
00:41:07.000 Right, right, right, right.
00:41:08.000 It sounds like something me and Duncan would do.
00:41:09.000 Yeah.
00:41:10.000 Nice robes, probably, too.
00:41:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:41:12.000 I'm sure.
00:41:12.000 Lily Tom would.
00:41:13.000 I mean, she's not going to wear some bullshit robe.
00:41:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:41:16.000 Have some respect.
00:41:17.000 Speaking of Duncan, when I got sober, when I had that 17-year chunk, and anyone out there listening, right?
00:41:25.000 Yeah.
00:41:25.000 I needed to get all my drugs out of my house.
00:41:27.000 So he was the only one that could do it.
00:41:31.000 So when I called him, he came out of my house in five minutes.
00:41:34.000 He cleaned out my apartment in like 20 minutes, and then he made me a fish dinner.
00:41:38.000 Aww.
00:41:39.000 And then he took all my drugs and went away.
00:41:41.000 But I want to...
00:41:42.000 Duncan, if you're listening, thank you for that.
00:41:43.000 Duncan's the man.
00:41:44.000 He's the best.
00:41:44.000 Yeah.
00:41:45.000 We lived together once for a while.
00:41:47.000 Where?
00:41:47.000 In my house.
00:41:48.000 For six months.
00:41:49.000 In Austin?
00:41:50.000 In California.
00:41:50.000 Really?
00:41:51.000 Yeah.
00:41:51.000 Wow.
00:41:52.000 He got kicked out of his apartment.
00:41:54.000 Or the house.
00:41:55.000 He was dating this lady, and she got tired of him, playing video games all day.
00:42:01.000 Really?
00:42:01.000 And he calls me up.
00:42:02.000 He goes, dude, I don't know what to do.
00:42:04.000 I'm in a hotel.
00:42:05.000 She kicked me out.
00:42:06.000 I go, come live with me.
00:42:08.000 Yeah.
00:42:08.000 I got this big ass house.
00:42:10.000 Yeah.
00:42:10.000 So Duncan lived with me for like six months.
00:42:12.000 And I had a sensory deprivation tank in the basement.
00:42:15.000 I saw that.
00:42:17.000 Duncan would go down the basement and trip balls and sort his life out.
00:42:21.000 Was he messy?
00:42:23.000 No.
00:42:23.000 No, Duncan was a great roommate.
00:42:25.000 Really?
00:42:25.000 He was awesome.
00:42:26.000 Yeah.
00:42:26.000 Did you have to kick him out or no?
00:42:28.000 No.
00:42:28.000 No, no.
00:42:29.000 He eventually got back on his feet again.
00:42:31.000 Right.
00:42:31.000 And, you know, we had a great time.
00:42:34.000 Like, he had stayed there for years.
00:42:36.000 We had a wonderful time.
00:42:37.000 It was a lot of fun.
00:42:38.000 Oh, wow.
00:42:39.000 It was like, Duncan's one of my best friends.
00:42:41.000 So, like, having one of my best friends in my house.
00:42:43.000 And the house is big, so it's not like we were on top of each other.
00:42:46.000 I could be way the fuck...
00:42:47.000 The phone didn't even work in the whole house.
00:42:49.000 I'd have to transfer phones to go to other parts of the house.
00:42:52.000 Wow.
00:42:52.000 It's a big-ass house.
00:42:53.000 So if Duncan's over in that side, I'm on over in this side, we're not even in each other's hair.
00:42:58.000 Didn't even bother each other.
00:42:59.000 So it was really cool, man.
00:43:01.000 It was cool having meals with him, hanging out with him.
00:43:04.000 So for like six months, we were roommates.
00:43:06.000 And to think that he was not even a stand-up at one point, he was the talent coordinator.
00:43:10.000 Well, he was a stand-up.
00:43:11.000 He was trying to do stand-up when he was the talent coordinator.
00:43:13.000 We became friends because I would call up and give my veils, and then we would have crazy conversations.
00:43:19.000 Yeah.
00:43:19.000 He's like, did you see this thing with Ram Dass?
00:43:22.000 And he looked at his place.
00:43:24.000 And we would talk about UFOs, Bigfoot and shit.
00:43:28.000 That's why when the Joe Rogan Questions Everything show, that's why I did it with him.
00:43:32.000 He's the perfect guy to do this with.
00:43:34.000 And Ari, too.
00:43:34.000 Ari did some of the episodes as well.
00:43:36.000 But Duncan was always trying to do stand-up.
00:43:40.000 He was just unorthodox in his approach.
00:43:45.000 But then he got good.
00:43:46.000 Like that fucking doll.
00:43:47.000 Oh my god.
00:43:48.000 Little Hobo is one of the best sets, one of the best bits I've ever seen.
00:43:52.000 It was so good.
00:43:53.000 It's so good.
00:43:54.000 She did it the other night at the mothership.
00:43:56.000 Oh, did you really?
00:43:56.000 Yeah.
00:43:57.000 It's incredible.
00:43:58.000 He's got a new Little Hobo, too.
00:43:59.000 Somebody stole Little Hobo.
00:44:01.000 No.
00:44:02.000 Yeah, some piece of shit stole a little hobo.
00:44:03.000 A little hobo was like an antique doll, too, right?
00:44:06.000 Yeah.
00:44:07.000 I don't know.
00:44:09.000 I don't remember how someone stole it.
00:44:10.000 No, but where do you get another little hobo?
00:44:11.000 Oh, you go on eBay.
00:44:13.000 Oh, you can get little hobos on eBay?
00:44:14.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:14.000 The new one he's got is creepy as fuck.
00:44:16.000 Oh, really?
00:44:16.000 I want to get a little hobo.
00:44:18.000 Yeah, you can go online and get antique puppets.
00:44:23.000 Really?
00:44:24.000 Yeah.
00:44:24.000 It's thousands of dollars probably.
00:44:26.000 I don't know.
00:44:27.000 There it is.
00:44:29.000 Is that the new Little Hobo?
00:44:30.000 Oh my god.
00:44:31.000 He's cute.
00:44:33.000 He's fucking creepy.
00:44:35.000 He lives here now, right?
00:44:36.000 Yeah, Duncan lives here.
00:44:37.000 Everyone's asking me to come.
00:44:39.000 You should come.
00:44:39.000 I know you're talking shit about moving to Austin, but listen.
00:44:42.000 No, I didn't.
00:44:42.000 Yeah, you did.
00:44:43.000 I watched the video.
00:44:45.000 No, I didn't.
00:44:45.000 Don't lie.
00:44:46.000 You did.
00:44:47.000 I'm not fucking moving to Austin.
00:44:49.000 I don't leave my neighborhood.
00:44:50.000 I don't go to Compton.
00:44:51.000 I stay right here.
00:44:53.000 Could I say something?
00:44:54.000 What?
00:44:55.000 You know what, man?
00:44:57.000 No, no, you know what, man?
00:44:58.000 You know what, man?
00:45:00.000 What?
00:45:01.000 Listen, you have to understand what you guys did.
00:45:04.000 What did we do?
00:45:06.000 You guys took half of the talent out.
00:45:10.000 Yeah.
00:45:10.000 So I was just butthurt.
00:45:11.000 We brought another bunch in too.
00:45:13.000 Like Shane Gillis lives here.
00:45:15.000 I know.
00:45:16.000 I know he does now.
00:45:17.000 We're doing great.
00:45:17.000 I know you guys are killing it.
00:45:19.000 We're having so much fun.
00:45:19.000 I went to the club last night.
00:45:20.000 Come move here.
00:45:21.000 I know, but you're more than...
00:45:22.000 Paulie's thinking about it.
00:45:23.000 Paulie's here a lot.
00:45:24.000 I know.
00:45:25.000 Paulie was just here the other day.
00:45:26.000 Theo's thinking about it.
00:45:27.000 Theo's thinking about it.
00:45:27.000 Right, yeah.
00:45:28.000 They're all just worried that people go, Oh, you moved there to suck on Rogan's nuts.
00:45:32.000 I would never suck your nuts.
00:45:34.000 I don't ask.
00:45:35.000 I wouldn't do it.
00:45:36.000 If you did, it would be a problem.
00:45:37.000 Yeah.
00:45:37.000 I'd be like, why are you doing this?
00:45:39.000 I'd have to be asleep.
00:45:39.000 Would you hurt me?
00:45:40.000 No.
00:45:41.000 Okay, we weren't camping.
00:45:42.000 If I woke up and you were sucking my ass, I wouldn't hurt you.
00:45:44.000 What?
00:45:45.000 I would yell at you.
00:45:46.000 I wouldn't hurt you.
00:45:47.000 Yeah.
00:45:48.000 I'd be like, what the fuck, dude?
00:45:49.000 That felt good.
00:45:51.000 I was in the middle of a dream.
00:45:52.000 What if I was in the middle of a sex dream and you sucked my nuts and I came?
00:45:54.000 I would be so mindful, too.
00:45:55.000 Bro, that would be a real problem for the rest of my life.
00:45:58.000 The hardest I ever came.
00:46:02.000 I wouldn't do it.
00:46:03.000 I was sleeping.
00:46:05.000 I was having a sex dream.
00:46:06.000 Bobby Lee was sucking my nuts.
00:46:08.000 I don't know why he was doing it.
00:46:09.000 It was just for fun.
00:46:10.000 I've sucked nuts before, but like, you know.
00:46:12.000 I get it.
00:46:13.000 Yeah, me and Santino will maybe talk about it.
00:46:17.000 Listen, man, it's a great place to live.
00:46:19.000 It's a great place tax-wise.
00:46:20.000 It's a great place traffic-wise.
00:46:22.000 It's a great place.
00:46:22.000 The most important thing is people-wise.
00:46:25.000 The people here are so friendly.
00:46:27.000 Austin people are great people.
00:46:29.000 They're really nice.
00:46:29.000 They're not shitheads.
00:46:31.000 They're not Hollywood people.
00:46:32.000 They're not lost in this fake world of leftist ideology that everybody's trapped in.
00:46:38.000 They're just people.
00:46:39.000 They're just regular people, man.
00:46:41.000 And those people exist outside of these These blue bubbles where everyone's gone insane.
00:46:47.000 Well, I used to be a part of the blue bubble.
00:46:49.000 I was 100% a left-leaning person who lived in Los Angeles.
00:46:54.000 I was 100%.
00:46:55.000 I never voted Republican my whole life.
00:46:58.000 I was very left-leaning, especially with any social issues.
00:47:02.000 When it comes to financial things, I'm a little bit more conservative, but at the end of the day, way more left than I am right.
00:47:09.000 But California went nuts, man.
00:47:12.000 It's gone like full communist.
00:47:13.000 It's out of its fucking mind.
00:47:15.000 And their approach to law enforcement is so insane.
00:47:20.000 It's so insane.
00:47:21.000 The no cash bail, the letting people out for committing violent crimes, the fucking not stopping people for stealing up to whatever money it is.
00:47:31.000 What is it, $900 now?
00:47:32.000 I think they raised it.
00:47:33.000 I think they made it a little higher.
00:47:35.000 San Francisco is non-existent.
00:47:37.000 San Francisco, most of San Francisco is emptied out of like big chain stores and big department stores.
00:47:43.000 I won't even do stand-up there anymore.
00:47:45.000 It's crazy.
00:47:46.000 They ruined it.
00:47:47.000 They ruined the city.
00:47:48.000 You can bring it back.
00:47:49.000 The structure's still there.
00:47:50.000 But you'd have to have some hardcore Rudy Giuliani type motherfucker to come in there and knock heads.
00:47:55.000 Wow.
00:47:55.000 And nobody wants that.
00:47:56.000 Nobody wants that.
00:47:57.000 They're peace, love, and granola and fucking wear a mask.
00:48:00.000 I'm in the middle now.
00:48:02.000 I'm in the middle.
00:48:03.000 I'm in the middle.
00:48:04.000 I never thought I would ever say that.
00:48:06.000 Never.
00:48:06.000 Never.
00:48:06.000 Never.
00:48:07.000 It only happened in this last year.
00:48:08.000 Right.
00:48:09.000 Exactly.
00:48:09.000 I just went, I can't do it anymore.
00:48:12.000 People that you thought were aligned with you are now mad at you about shit.
00:48:18.000 They're in a cult.
00:48:19.000 They're in a cult.
00:48:20.000 It's got all...
00:48:21.000 I mean...
00:48:23.000 Mark Andreessen, who's a brilliant venture capitalist guy, explained it to me in very clear terms.
00:48:30.000 Like what the definition of a cult is, how you can get excommunicated, how you get shamed for having differing opinions, the group think, the whole...
00:48:37.000 He's like, it's a cult.
00:48:38.000 And he's right.
00:48:39.000 He's 100% right.
00:48:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:41.000 It's just hard to say because then people in the cult will attack you.
00:48:44.000 But they're not attacking you for a reasonable...
00:48:49.000 It's not logical, the way they're attacking you.
00:48:51.000 They're attacking you like someone attacks religious beliefs.
00:48:54.000 Yeah.
00:48:55.000 And some of these religious beliefs, it gets into these weird gray areas, like trans people in women's bathrooms.
00:49:01.000 Like, says who?
00:49:03.000 Says who?
00:49:04.000 How do you know that's a real trans person?
00:49:06.000 How do you not know that's a fucking creep that wants to pull his dick out in front of kids?
00:49:11.000 Because those are real.
00:49:12.000 We spa.
00:49:13.000 Yeah.
00:49:13.000 And if that guy was a convicted sex offender.
00:49:16.000 Yeah.
00:49:17.000 Yeah.
00:49:17.000 And he was doing that.
00:49:18.000 Look, those guys are real.
00:49:20.000 It doesn't mean trans people aren't real also, but those guys are fucking real.
00:49:24.000 And to even say that those guys are real, you get excommunicated.
00:49:28.000 You get treated like you're a Nazi.
00:49:31.000 I never even cared about it.
00:49:32.000 Didn't care at all.
00:49:33.000 Yeah, I mean, whatever you are, I don't give a shit.
00:49:36.000 You know what I mean?
00:49:37.000 But it's like, I can't do it anymore.
00:49:39.000 I think it's engineered.
00:49:41.000 I really do.
00:49:42.000 By who?
00:49:42.000 By China and by Russia.
00:49:44.000 Oh no, Chinese.
00:49:45.000 Yeah.
00:49:45.000 I think what they're doing by manipulating social media, manipulating algorithms, I think some of it is natural.
00:49:53.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:49:54.000 I think some of it would have happened either way.
00:49:57.000 It happened during the 70s with the hippie movement.
00:49:59.000 There's always like...
00:50:00.000 There's always these people that want to live completely outside of the norm of conformity of society.
00:50:09.000 And there's always people like that.
00:50:10.000 But what's going on now is very different, and it's accentuated by social media.
00:50:15.000 And I think it's accentuated by algorithms naturally, because people are inclined to go towards things that upset them.
00:50:20.000 But also, it's done purposely.
00:50:24.000 And I think it's done, if you have enough stuff About like whatever the thing is whether it's black lives matter or whether it's Ukraine or whether it's power free Palestine from the river to the sea if you have enough of that Online it moves the needle and the way I described it the other day.
00:50:41.000 It's like if two ships I go in a certain direction.
00:50:44.000 This is a ship where people logically work through things, and this is a ship that's adjusted by the algorithm, affected by the algorithm.
00:50:51.000 It just moves that much.
00:50:52.000 Over time, this is what we're seeing.
00:50:55.000 So over time, you and I, who used to be on the left, are now like, where's the left?
00:51:00.000 Where are you guys?
00:51:00.000 You guys are so far away!
00:51:02.000 I can't even see you!
00:51:04.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:51:04.000 You're out of your mind.
00:51:05.000 You're fucking chopping dicks off and giving little kids hormone blockers.
00:51:10.000 You have no idea what the long-term consequences are.
00:51:12.000 You're ignoring the health risks.
00:51:14.000 You won't even talk about the health risks.
00:51:16.000 You use things like...
00:51:19.000 Gender-affirming care!
00:51:20.000 What are you saying?
00:51:22.000 What are you saying when you're talking about children?
00:51:24.000 Why are you just accepting this?
00:51:26.000 Because it's a noble thing to blurt out, so everybody goes, you're on the right team.
00:51:31.000 That's what it is.
00:51:32.000 It's not like, oh my god, what are we doing to kids?
00:51:35.000 It's not like, oh my god, what are we doing to San Francisco?
00:51:37.000 It's not like, oh my god, why are we letting these violent criminals out of jail?
00:51:40.000 It's like, oh my god, why are we defunding the fucking police?
00:51:43.000 What are you doing?
00:51:44.000 Yeah.
00:51:44.000 You can't say any of those things.
00:51:46.000 You say any of those things you're a nut.
00:51:47.000 You get nervous?
00:51:48.000 No.
00:51:49.000 Okay.
00:51:50.000 I live here.
00:51:51.000 Right.
00:51:52.000 This is Texas.
00:51:53.000 In Texas, 99% of the people agree with me.
00:51:56.000 Even the left-leaning people here are way more reasonable.
00:51:59.000 Even last night, there's a joke that I tell that if I say it in a liberal city, it dies.
00:52:05.000 You know what I mean?
00:52:06.000 And it's a joke about, you know what I mean, Down syndrome people making love.
00:52:10.000 And they make up their own moves.
00:52:13.000 Right?
00:52:13.000 And they know traditional moves.
00:52:15.000 And I did it last night.
00:52:17.000 It crushed both shows.
00:52:18.000 And I felt like...
00:52:20.000 Oh, this is, you know what I mean, what I've been, I think, maybe looking for.
00:52:23.000 Well, that club is specifically designed and nurtured just for what's funny.
00:52:29.000 That's it.
00:52:30.000 There is no message here.
00:52:32.000 Unless you have a message and it's funny and it's in there, you want to do it, that's fine.
00:52:36.000 But what's valued is comedy.
00:52:38.000 Just like if you go to a music show, you don't want those in between the music speeches about climate change.
00:52:45.000 Shut the fuck up.
00:52:47.000 Shut the fuck up and play the song.
00:52:49.000 Entertain me.
00:52:50.000 We want to develop stand-up comedy, like real stand-up comedy, because I think it's a worthy art form.
00:52:57.000 I think it's very valuable to people in terms of enjoyment and in terms of mental health and in terms of society.
00:53:04.000 It's an important part of society.
00:53:06.000 Like the Lakota had a person in their tribe that was called the Hayoka.
00:53:11.000 And Heyoko was the sacred clown.
00:53:13.000 And this was the person that made fun of everything.
00:53:16.000 Because if you couldn't make fun of something, it was bullshit.
00:53:19.000 Like if this was one guy, oh, you can't make fun of him.
00:53:21.000 Well, that's probably bullshit.
00:53:23.000 He probably has an inappropriate amount or an inappropriate amount of power.
00:53:27.000 Yeah.
00:53:27.000 A disproportionate amount of influence.
00:53:29.000 It's like probably some ego going on here, too, if you can't make fun of something.
00:53:33.000 Yeah.
00:53:33.000 Because if you can make fun of something and it's not funny, then you're not funny.
00:53:37.000 But if you can make fun of something and it's funny and people laugh and someone gets mad, they're the problem.
00:53:41.000 Yeah.
00:53:42.000 They're the problem.
00:53:43.000 And I want to say something.
00:53:44.000 I never said this before.
00:53:45.000 I want to say it now, right?
00:53:47.000 Is just for my personal life, some of the bullying that I received was necessary for me to get to where I am now.
00:53:56.000 Well, you don't want it.
00:53:57.000 I don't want it.
00:53:57.000 No, I didn't ever want it.
00:53:59.000 I know what you're saying.
00:53:59.000 But I wouldn't go back in my past and change anything.
00:54:02.000 Right.
00:54:03.000 I wouldn't either.
00:54:03.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:54:04.000 Because I feel like everything...
00:54:05.000 My dad was fucking violent as fuck, dude.
00:54:09.000 Like, he would knock my mom's tooth out.
00:54:11.000 She has a missing tooth right here.
00:54:12.000 You know what I mean?
00:54:12.000 And we witnessed all this trauma.
00:54:15.000 Yeah.
00:54:15.000 Right?
00:54:16.000 And he was like...
00:54:17.000 Dude, it was like...
00:54:18.000 It was fucking terrible.
00:54:20.000 I had done EMDR on just him.
00:54:23.000 Trauma therapy, right?
00:54:25.000 And then, you know, I was a little guy in an American high school, and people would bully me.
00:54:30.000 I lived in Minnesota.
00:54:31.000 They thought I was an Eskimo.
00:54:33.000 They threw ice chunks at my head.
00:54:34.000 Anyway, my point is that all those little things, and even in comedy, it was hard being me, this little guy, you know what I mean, doing it.
00:54:44.000 Black comics would sometimes come up to me.
00:54:46.000 Asians aren't funny.
00:54:47.000 You know what I mean?
00:54:49.000 Well, there was always that knock on Asians.
00:54:51.000 Yeah.
00:54:51.000 Let's be honest, like Henry Cho was like the first guy that went mainstream.
00:54:55.000 I love him.
00:54:56.000 He was the first guy that went mainstream.
00:54:58.000 I love him.
00:54:58.000 Wasn't he?
00:54:59.000 Yes.
00:54:59.000 Ronnie Chang's fucking hilarious.
00:55:01.000 I love Ronnie.
00:55:02.000 That dude is so good.
00:55:03.000 So funny.
00:55:03.000 He's so funny.
00:55:04.000 He's got so much attitude on stage.
00:55:06.000 Johnny Yoon was before him.
00:55:08.000 That's right.
00:55:08.000 Johnny Yoon.
00:55:09.000 He's funny too.
00:55:10.000 Yeah, he's very funny.
00:55:11.000 But there was a knock.
00:55:14.000 But dude, nobody thought that when they saw you on stage.
00:55:18.000 You're a really funny guy.
00:55:20.000 You're very good.
00:55:20.000 Thank you.
00:55:21.000 Very good comic.
00:55:22.000 Thank you.
00:55:22.000 You're a very good comic.
00:55:24.000 Yeah.
00:55:24.000 And I also want to tell you the reason why I didn't want to do this now is because I'm doing a special and I want to promote it.
00:55:31.000 Okay.
00:55:32.000 And I thought maybe I could only do it once every five years, but then your people said that I could do it when I... You can do this anytime you want.
00:55:39.000 I feel that now.
00:55:41.000 You have my number.
00:55:41.000 I'm going to call you.
00:55:42.000 I'm going to text you.
00:55:42.000 I'm going to text you.
00:55:43.000 I'm going to do it.
00:55:43.000 Anytime you want to.
00:55:44.000 I love you.
00:55:44.000 It's going to be great.
00:55:45.000 Listen, I love you.
00:55:46.000 I'm happy we do this.
00:55:50.000 Yeah, I get it.
00:55:51.000 All right.
00:55:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:51.000 I get it now.
00:55:52.000 I know now how it works.
00:55:54.000 Yeah.
00:55:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:55.000 But yeah, I was like, I have to do one.
00:55:58.000 I have to do a special.
00:56:00.000 You really should, because it'll also force you to write more and fuck around more.
00:56:04.000 But you need a place to do that, and that's why you should move here.
00:56:07.000 There's so much stage time here, dude.
00:56:09.000 That's why in March, I talk to Adam.
00:56:11.000 I go, I'm going to do shows here in the Little Room to do Bobby Lee New Joke Night.
00:56:15.000 Let's go, Bobby Lee.
00:56:17.000 Let's go.
00:56:18.000 And then me and Adam are going to do a Star Trek podcast.
00:56:20.000 Oh, boy.
00:56:21.000 And at that point, you're going to watch The Inner Light.
00:56:26.000 It's 40 minutes You really think that's the best science fiction ever better than alien the first alien movie with Sigourney Weaver But you have to think though that it you know because obviously the budget is an alien budget Right, so it's cheesy television, right?
00:56:41.000 But if the concept you know, I mean was mind-blowing at the time when I saw that in my early 20s It blew my fucking mind Yeah.
00:56:51.000 And it's like, I don't want to give it away now, you know what I mean?
00:56:54.000 Can I try to sell it to you real quick or no?
00:56:57.000 Why not?
00:56:58.000 I'm sure it's okay.
00:56:59.000 Yeah.
00:57:00.000 All right, I will say, but you're going to watch it.
00:57:02.000 I'll watch that one episode that you told me to watch.
00:57:04.000 Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:57:05.000 And then make fun of me about it.
00:57:06.000 I will.
00:57:07.000 Yeah.
00:57:07.000 Most certainly.
00:57:08.000 But that's not the best science fiction ever.
00:57:11.000 That's crazy.
00:57:11.000 If you Google the best television sci-fi episode, the interlock is in the top three.
00:57:18.000 You know what's a super underrated television sci-fi show?
00:57:21.000 What?
00:57:21.000 Battlestar Galactica.
00:57:23.000 The new version?
00:57:24.000 So good!
00:57:25.000 So good.
00:57:26.000 I've seen it twice already all the way through.
00:57:28.000 It's incredible.
00:57:28.000 It's incredible.
00:57:29.000 It's a really good show.
00:57:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:57:31.000 You think of it as a science fiction show, but it's a really good psychology show.
00:57:36.000 The way they had it set up, it's fucking terrifying.
00:57:38.000 I just got goosebumps when you said it, dude.
00:57:40.000 It's so good, and it's so appropriate to watch today.
00:57:43.000 And they kept jumping every hour because they're so scared.
00:57:45.000 Oh my god, it was so good.
00:57:47.000 And also the combination of artificial people and real people.
00:57:51.000 Oh my god.
00:57:51.000 It's really difficult because that's something that we're gonna have to navigate.
00:57:55.000 They didn't have AI then.
00:57:57.000 They didn't have that aspect of it that worked out.
00:57:59.000 You know, that wasn't like a terrifying force.
00:58:02.000 That they were dealing with as well, but the Cylons were awesome.
00:58:05.000 The robot murderers.
00:58:08.000 Yeah.
00:58:08.000 Oh my god.
00:58:09.000 And they also kept some of the old-school Cylons there too, but the new-school ones were like, you couldn't tell.
00:58:14.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:58:15.000 Yeah, there was new-school Cylons and old-school Cylons.
00:58:17.000 That's a great fucking show.
00:58:19.000 I can't believe it.
00:58:20.000 I'm crying.
00:58:20.000 And you know, I love it.
00:58:22.000 What's the pop face guy?
00:58:24.000 Oh, the head guy.
00:58:26.000 Shit.
00:58:27.000 Almost?
00:58:27.000 Edward James Olmos.
00:58:28.000 Edward James Olmos.
00:58:29.000 He's amazing.
00:58:30.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:58:30.000 So good in that.
00:58:31.000 He's amazing.
00:58:32.000 Yeah.
00:58:33.000 It's a great fucking show.
00:58:34.000 Like, great acting, great stories, great special effects.
00:58:38.000 It really flew under the radar.
00:58:39.000 I think it was on, like, FX or something like that.
00:58:42.000 Sci-fi channel.
00:58:43.000 Sci-fi.
00:58:43.000 Sci-fi channel.
00:58:44.000 That's what it was.
00:58:44.000 So, like, not enough people were on that channel.
00:58:47.000 But now, you know that I saw it, right?
00:58:49.000 I'm telling you, the inner light rivals it.
00:58:53.000 Rivals, okay.
00:58:54.000 You'll watch it and go, okay, that's like the same kind of feel.
00:58:58.000 Rivals is reasonable?
00:58:59.000 Yeah.
00:59:00.000 What's your favorite sci-fi movie?
00:59:02.000 Oh shit.
00:59:03.000 In terms of like entertainment?
00:59:05.000 Yeah, what's something you just loved?
00:59:08.000 My favorite sci-fi, Aliens is one of, the original Alien was good.
00:59:12.000 Yeah, because you know, Harry Dean Stanton was great.
00:59:15.000 Here's what I loved about it.
00:59:16.000 The cast was so believable.
00:59:18.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:18.000 And that was also the first time there was like a female action star that you didn't feel like they were shoehorning it in your face that she's female.
00:59:28.000 She was stuck in that role.
00:59:30.000 That's not the role she wanted.
00:59:31.000 She wasn't some badass.
00:59:34.000 She was someone rising to the occasion, becoming a badass in the face of this horrific thing that killed everybody else on her spaceship.
00:59:42.000 Spoiler alert.
00:59:43.000 It's 1979. They also felt like real truckers, almost.
00:59:46.000 The ship lived in.
00:59:49.000 Right.
00:59:50.000 Oily, almost, you know?
00:59:51.000 Yeah.
00:59:51.000 Yeah, it was fucking amazing.
00:59:52.000 It's a great fucking movie.
00:59:53.000 It's a great fucking movie.
00:59:54.000 But Aliens 2, not as good.
00:59:57.000 Not as good, but still entertaining.
00:59:58.000 Different kind of movie.
00:59:59.000 That was like, the aliens were easy to kill all of a sudden.
01:00:02.000 And there was like a lot of them.
01:00:03.000 Oh, right.
01:00:04.000 Well, they're Marines, though.
01:00:05.000 Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
01:00:06.000 The aliens were so...
01:00:08.000 The alien, the first one, was so clever and so fast and so sneaky.
01:00:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:00:12.000 And then all of a sudden, they're not.
01:00:13.000 All of a sudden they're just fucking idiots.
01:00:15.000 They're just running at you like the British with the fucking white cross on their chest.
01:00:20.000 It didn't make any sense.
01:00:22.000 Their characteristics were completely different.
01:00:24.000 They were the dumb aliens.
01:00:27.000 And then the big one, the big female, the mama, the queen.
01:00:31.000 That was fun.
01:00:32.000 She should've fucked Sigourney Weaver up like that.
01:00:34.000 It didn't make any sense.
01:00:36.000 Oh, okay.
01:00:36.000 With that stupid, you bitch.
01:00:38.000 With the robot thing.
01:00:39.000 Your whole body's exposed, Pope.
01:00:41.000 Now you're dead.
01:00:42.000 What are you talking about?
01:00:43.000 Okay, okay.
01:00:44.000 And why is it moving so slow?
01:00:45.000 All the above.
01:00:46.000 It should've been...
01:00:47.000 Well, she has babies in her belly.
01:00:48.000 You ever see a praying mantis kill a hummingbird?
01:00:53.000 I don't watch stuff like that, man.
01:00:54.000 You should watch that.
01:00:55.000 Because the praying mantis is like the human or the Earth-like equivalent of what one of those alien things are.
01:01:02.000 The alien thing is an enormous praying mantis, probably even more violent and more deadly.
01:01:08.000 And I just don't buy Sigourney Weaver with a stupid fucking robot crane suit on kicking its ass.
01:01:14.000 Does it make me a pussy when I watch Planet Earth and I see a lion chase a gazelle or whatever and I fast forward?
01:01:21.000 No.
01:01:21.000 You just don't want to see the suffering.
01:01:23.000 I don't want to see it.
01:01:24.000 But does that make me weak though?
01:01:25.000 No.
01:01:26.000 No, it's not weak.
01:01:27.000 You just don't want to experience it.
01:01:28.000 Yeah, I don't want to experience it.
01:01:30.000 You know what it is.
01:01:30.000 You've seen it before.
01:01:31.000 Yeah, I've seen it happen.
01:01:31.000 You don't have to see a lion eating a fucking gazelle guts first over and over and over again.
01:01:38.000 Yeah.
01:01:38.000 Or hyenas.
01:01:39.000 The hyenas ones, the wild dog ones, those are the ruthless ones.
01:01:43.000 Yeah, those are crazy.
01:01:43.000 Because they're pulling the guts out while the thing is trying to stand up.
01:01:46.000 It's good, it's good.
01:01:47.000 Fuck, man.
01:01:48.000 At least the lions kill you first.
01:01:51.000 The cats always kill you.
01:01:52.000 They don't just eat you.
01:01:54.000 Cats grab you by the neck and they fucking kill you.
01:01:56.000 Wow.
01:01:57.000 But dogs, wild dogs and hyenas and bears, they just start eating you.
01:02:02.000 And then the alligator, you have to do a twirl with them.
01:02:04.000 Yeah, you might not die for an hour.
01:02:07.000 With an alligator?
01:02:08.000 With a lot of different creatures.
01:02:10.000 Oh, really?
01:02:11.000 It depends on what...
01:02:11.000 Well, alligators will take you underwater.
01:02:13.000 They'll drown you because they want to stuff you into a log so you can rot.
01:02:17.000 Yeah.
01:02:17.000 So you're easier to consume.
01:02:18.000 What animal could I think I could survive, you think?
01:02:21.000 A mouse.
01:02:22.000 Maybe a mouse.
01:02:25.000 Maybe.
01:02:25.000 No.
01:02:26.000 A really angry mouse, you'd probably run into a wall.
01:02:30.000 Well, with a bear, maybe.
01:02:33.000 You don't think so?
01:02:33.000 A bear.
01:02:34.000 Yeah, but I would just not freeze.
01:02:36.000 I don't think that works.
01:02:37.000 Freezing doesn't work?
01:02:38.000 Depends on why they're there.
01:02:39.000 All right.
01:02:40.000 If they're there to eat you, no, that's not going to work.
01:02:42.000 Right.
01:02:42.000 If they're there to scare you away from their children, maybe.
01:02:46.000 Maybe it'll work.
01:02:46.000 But do you know what to do?
01:02:47.000 No, there's no what to do.
01:02:49.000 There's not a lot to do.
01:02:51.000 Because when you go to Hawaii and you swim with the sharks, they give you rules.
01:02:54.000 That doesn't even work.
01:02:55.000 You don't splash.
01:02:55.000 Did you hear about that kid that was just in the shark tank?
01:02:57.000 Was it in the Bahamas?
01:02:58.000 You got a bit?
01:02:59.000 They had some shark tank experience and some kid got bit by a shark.
01:03:03.000 Some kid, I think, from Maryland.
01:03:05.000 Really?
01:03:06.000 Yeah, don't fuck around, man.
01:03:08.000 They don't know that it's a shark tank.
01:03:09.000 They're sharks.
01:03:11.000 They're sharks.
01:03:12.000 Yeah.
01:03:12.000 And a bear is, like, to think you know what to do, maybe if you spray it with pepper spray to run away, maybe.
01:03:21.000 Maybe it won't.
01:03:22.000 Maybe if you shoot it, you'll stop it in its tracks, or maybe you only have like a 9mm, and you can pump it full of 4, 5, 6 holes, and it still tears you apart.
01:03:31.000 Wow.
01:03:31.000 Yeah, if you're gonna shoot it with a gun, you want a large caliber rifle.
01:03:36.000 You want like a.300 Win Mag.
01:03:38.000 Yeah.
01:03:39.000 You want something big, something BOOM! BOOM! Yeah.
01:03:43.000 You want to put large holes in that gigantic monster predator.
01:03:47.000 What about sword, no?
01:03:48.000 No, you're fucked.
01:03:49.000 Okay, okay, okay.
01:03:54.000 You'll fucking bounce it off its nose and it'll just get mad at you.
01:03:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:03:58.000 You'll miss.
01:03:59.000 You'll panic.
01:04:00.000 It's just hard.
01:04:01.000 The speed that it moves at will astound all your senses.
01:04:04.000 You'll panic because you'll realize you don't have the reaction time.
01:04:08.000 You don't have the physical movement time capable of dealing with how fast it's coming at you.
01:04:13.000 Your body doesn't work good enough to do that.
01:04:15.000 You know, I would run toward it and just get it over with.
01:04:18.000 That might work.
01:04:19.000 I'll just run and I'll just jump right into the head, maybe.
01:04:22.000 It depends on where it bites you.
01:04:23.000 The thing about those things is they don't necessarily kill.
01:04:26.000 They just hold down and eat.
01:04:28.000 They just hold you down and start eating.
01:04:30.000 Alright, okay!
01:04:31.000 You know Grizzly Man, that documentary?
01:04:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04:34.000 Wow.
01:04:34.000 That video where the lens cap was on, but they have an audio of him dying.
01:04:38.000 It's like...
01:04:39.000 It's so horrifying, I know.
01:04:40.000 It's like five minutes long.
01:04:42.000 Yeah.
01:04:42.000 Five minutes of that thing eating him alive.
01:04:46.000 Five minutes is so long before you're dead.
01:04:50.000 Yeah.
01:04:51.000 You gotta think of how long it is that something just weighs a thousand pounds, putting its paw on your chest and just pulling your guts out, screaming, eating your dick first.
01:05:00.000 I've bombed for five minutes and it seems like 20 minutes.
01:05:03.000 Right.
01:05:03.000 Imagine getting eating.
01:05:04.000 Oh my god.
01:05:04.000 Right.
01:05:05.000 Forever.
01:05:05.000 Yeah.
01:05:06.000 Oh my god.
01:05:06.000 Do you bomb anymore?
01:05:08.000 A juggle bomb, yeah.
01:05:10.000 We also do Bottom of the Barrel.
01:05:12.000 You know Bottom of the Barrel?
01:05:13.000 No.
01:05:13.000 It's like one of those shows where the audience has suggestions, and you reach into the barrel and pull out the suggestions, and then you just riff.
01:05:20.000 Boy, I bombed on those shows.
01:05:21.000 Oh, really?
01:05:22.000 Yeah, you can't.
01:05:23.000 Sometimes there's no suggestion.
01:05:25.000 Sometimes it's like green sneakers.
01:05:27.000 Oh my God, it's so hard.
01:05:29.000 The fuck am I going to do with this?
01:05:30.000 Yeah.
01:05:30.000 Because sometimes people are trying to trip you up.
01:05:32.000 Sometimes people have good suggestions.
01:05:34.000 Yeah.
01:05:34.000 Some of them are actually almost in the form of jokes.
01:05:36.000 Some of them are really funny.
01:05:37.000 Wow.
01:05:38.000 Yeah.
01:05:39.000 So you just randomly pull out a topic?
01:05:41.000 Randomly.
01:05:41.000 And the audience fills it out?
01:05:42.000 Exactly.
01:05:43.000 Wow.
01:05:43.000 And it's like, sometimes it's an amazing premise factory, because sometimes, because you're on the spot like that, every now and then, an idea will pop into your head.
01:05:51.000 You're like, oh shit, that's a bit.
01:05:53.000 Yeah.
01:05:53.000 And then that bit, you get home and you listen to it and you write it down.
01:05:57.000 Like, there's three or four bits that I've gotten that are actual bits now, because of that show.
01:06:02.000 I want to admit to something to you right now, if I may.
01:06:07.000 I do.
01:06:08.000 I want to admit something to you right now, if I may.
01:06:10.000 Okay.
01:06:11.000 The reason why I haven't done a special is because of the fear of doing new shit.
01:06:17.000 Yeah, of course.
01:06:19.000 Of course.
01:06:20.000 It's shameful.
01:06:22.000 Yeah, but this idea that you have of a Bobby Lee new joke night.
01:06:26.000 I'm forcing myself to do it.
01:06:27.000 Perfect.
01:06:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:06:28.000 Perfect.
01:06:28.000 Perfect.
01:06:29.000 Because, you know, when you guys left the store, And I don't want to make fun of...
01:06:34.000 I love all the comics, dude, but it's like, you know, sometimes when the headliners, like the guys with names, leave town for the weekends, you look at some of the lineups there, you know what I mean?
01:06:43.000 And so when I'm...
01:06:44.000 They're not as strong.
01:06:46.000 So when I'm in town, I'm in the main room, I have the prime spot, it's packed.
01:06:50.000 I have this fucking pressure to crush.
01:06:55.000 Of course.
01:06:57.000 You know, because I just know that they're there to see me, and I want to give them a good show.
01:07:01.000 Well, you could do sets other places, too, you know?
01:07:03.000 Do sets other places.
01:07:04.000 Go to the Ha Ha.
01:07:05.000 Fuck around at the Ice House.
01:07:06.000 Go to Flappers.
01:07:08.000 Go fuck around in other spots.
01:07:10.000 Flappers?
01:07:10.000 Yeah.
01:07:11.000 I know you're saying that, but it's like, go up there.
01:07:14.000 It's a crowd.
01:07:15.000 Yeah.
01:07:16.000 You know?
01:07:17.000 Fuck around.
01:07:17.000 Burr fucks around there.
01:07:19.000 Oh, wow.
01:07:19.000 Yeah.
01:07:19.000 Burr likes to do that.
01:07:20.000 He likes to go to the Ice House.
01:07:21.000 He'll fuck around there.
01:07:22.000 Yeah.
01:07:23.000 You gotta kinda fuck around.
01:07:24.000 You gotta come up with ideas and sit down.
01:07:28.000 Like last night...
01:07:30.000 I told myself, I'm going to go to bed early.
01:07:32.000 I was in front of the computer at 10 o'clock and I was like, I'll stop at 12 and I'll go to bed.
01:07:38.000 But then I caught an idea.
01:07:40.000 I caught an idea and I wrote it out until like 3.30 in the morning.
01:07:42.000 I was just writing.
01:07:44.000 And when I do that, I'm like, okay, that was productive.
01:07:47.000 Even though I'm tired and I woke up late today, even though I'm tired, I'm like, but that was productive.
01:07:52.000 And if I can force myself to do that three, four times a week, And sometimes, dude, I'll just sit in front of that fucking computer and it's just nonsense.
01:07:59.000 It's just nonsense.
01:08:01.000 It's nothing.
01:08:01.000 It's embarrassing.
01:08:02.000 It's terrible.
01:08:03.000 There's nothing to this.
01:08:04.000 I'm trying to work it out.
01:08:06.000 You know, I'll fucking take a little of that, go over it again.
01:08:09.000 Hmm.
01:08:10.000 And sometimes nothing.
01:08:11.000 Sometimes I got nothing.
01:08:12.000 But when you write something, though, and you look at it, right, do you go, okay, this is like a 60%.
01:08:17.000 Like, do you do that?
01:08:19.000 It totally depends.
01:08:20.000 It depends.
01:08:20.000 Sometimes it's like 100%.
01:08:22.000 Some bits, like, as I write them, that's exactly how I perform them.
01:08:26.000 It's not normal, but it happens.
01:08:29.000 Yeah.
01:08:30.000 And then some bits are just seeds.
01:08:31.000 It's just a seed.
01:08:32.000 And I gotta throw that bitch on stage and see where it goes.
01:08:35.000 Yeah.
01:08:35.000 And sometimes it doesn't go anywhere.
01:08:37.000 Right.
01:08:38.000 I think it's like Ron White was telling the story the other day about this joke that he had that he thought was really funny.
01:08:43.000 Yeah.
01:08:43.000 And he had planned, I had it planned in my mind when it was going to be applause break.
01:08:47.000 He goes, you got fucking nothing.
01:08:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:08:49.000 It happens.
01:08:50.000 Yeah, it does, yeah.
01:08:51.000 But that's the beauty of creation because every now and then I have this new bit that's killing and it's so exciting to get to it because it's like this is like this bit is alive.
01:09:02.000 It's like it was just born.
01:09:04.000 Yeah.
01:09:04.000 It's just flexing.
01:09:05.000 You know?
01:09:06.000 It's fun.
01:09:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:09:08.000 It's fun, but it's also hard.
01:09:10.000 But you gotta, you know, you gotta pay devotion to the muse.
01:09:16.000 You gotta sit down and try to, like, let the ideas come to you.
01:09:19.000 If you don't have a moment where you're just sitting down and just letting the ideas come to you, you're gonna miss those ideas.
01:09:25.000 And some people say, oh, I only write on stage, I only write with my friends.
01:09:28.000 That's great.
01:09:29.000 You should do that, too.
01:09:30.000 But there's nothing wrong with, like, sitting...
01:09:33.000 It's not gonna hurt you to sit in front of a computer and go over your ideas.
01:09:36.000 And every now and then...
01:09:38.000 Maybe every two times or five times, every ten times you sit in front of that computer or that notebook, something pops up that wouldn't have popped up without it.
01:09:48.000 Yeah.
01:09:49.000 And you gotta like suffer through the ones that suck, the drudge of not being able to come up with anything.
01:09:57.000 My problem is I have these second addictions I have, like video games.
01:10:02.000 Right, in your front of the computer you start playing video games.
01:10:04.000 Yeah, and I'll just start playing Starfield or something, and 16 hours later I'm on a planet, and I'm making an outpost, right?
01:10:11.000 And I feel guilt, or I'll play Stardew Valley, I'll create a farm, right?
01:10:16.000 But it's a haunting thing, like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:10:19.000 What the fuck are you doing?
01:10:20.000 What the fuck are you doing?
01:10:20.000 Right, you're wasting your time.
01:10:21.000 I'm wasting my time.
01:10:22.000 I know this, but for the same reason I can convince myself Well, here's the thing.
01:10:26.000 If you do the work first, like say if you sit down, you say, I can only play computer games if I write a thousand words.
01:10:36.000 So when you get to a thousand on a Word document, you look at the bottom, it'll tell you how many words you've written, and then you can stop.
01:10:43.000 That's what I'm gonna do.
01:10:44.000 Yeah, just earn it.
01:10:45.000 Earn it.
01:10:45.000 That way you'll actually enjoy it.
01:10:47.000 That way when you're playing the games, it won't be in your head, oh my god, I should be writing, oh my god, I should be doing something else.
01:10:53.000 And by the way, it doesn't have to be you write something funny.
01:10:57.000 You could just write something about something and then try to extract funny things out of it.
01:11:03.000 Like, you could just write a story about how violent your dad was.
01:11:07.000 Like that, what you just told me, which is horrific, right?
01:11:09.000 If you wrote that out, I guarantee you there's gonna be a seed of something in there.
01:11:17.000 Something.
01:11:17.000 It might not even be about your dad being violent.
01:11:20.000 Maybe it'd be about how you react to violence.
01:11:22.000 Or maybe how you react to, you know, angry people.
01:11:26.000 I just want everybody to be nice.
01:11:27.000 You could find, like, a premise in there.
01:11:30.000 So just write an essay.
01:11:32.000 Just write an essay and write an essay with no expectation of whether or not it's gonna be funny.
01:11:37.000 Yeah, I used to do morning pages.
01:11:39.000 You ever do that?
01:11:40.000 No, just get up in the morning and write?
01:11:42.000 Right when you wake up, apparently, when you just start writing.
01:11:45.000 That's supposed to be the best time to write.
01:11:46.000 Yeah.
01:11:47.000 Well, you don't have those, like, filters and stuff, like, this sucks.
01:11:50.000 Just freely write it, and then just pages of it, maybe a couple, you know what I mean?
01:11:54.000 And then later you look at it, you know what I mean?
01:11:57.000 Maybe I'll start doing that again.
01:11:58.000 I don't fucking know.
01:11:58.000 That's how most writers do.
01:12:00.000 When they write, they write in the morning, and then they go for a walk.
01:12:03.000 A lot of them do.
01:12:04.000 And they listen to some of their notes.
01:12:07.000 And they'll go over the idea that they wrote down, and they'll take voice notes while they're walking.
01:12:11.000 There's something about walking, they say, because it's like a very mild aerobic exercise.
01:12:15.000 So it stimulates your circulation.
01:12:17.000 It gets everything flowing.
01:12:19.000 You actually think a little bit better when you're walking.
01:12:22.000 Okay.
01:12:23.000 You're not tired.
01:12:24.000 It's a mild thing.
01:12:25.000 So you're just out there walking, and your heart is pumping, and you're not sitting there sedentary just trying to think.
01:12:31.000 You're actually walking around.
01:12:33.000 Okay, I'll try hiking then.
01:12:34.000 Yeah, hiking's good.
01:12:36.000 Hiking's good.
01:12:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:12:37.000 Yeah, hike after you, then you'll really have earned your video games, right?
01:12:41.000 Write, and then hike, and think about what you write, and then when you play, you'll be playing for fun.
01:12:47.000 You'll be enjoying it.
01:12:48.000 So from this day forth, From this day forth, I'm going to wake up, I'm making an announcement.
01:12:53.000 I'm going to wake up, I'm going to write for an hour, hike, and then I'm going to play video games.
01:12:59.000 I'm going to see you four months from now, you're going to be cracked out with a Klingon knife.
01:13:05.000 You went off the rails.
01:13:08.000 It was too much pressure!
01:13:09.000 I was getting up every morning, I was writing, and then I was hiking, and it was just too much!
01:13:12.000 Yeah.
01:13:13.000 And my fish died!
01:13:14.000 I have to do it because now it's incredible.
01:13:17.000 When I do shows with Segura or me and Andrew, because I'm on a podcast called Bad Friends.
01:13:23.000 It's a funny podcast.
01:13:24.000 Thank you.
01:13:25.000 You guys are good together.
01:13:25.000 I want to talk to you about an episode that I saw.
01:13:28.000 But you having to go to Israel?
01:13:29.000 Was that on that or was that somewhere else?
01:13:31.000 Yeah, it was that.
01:13:32.000 What was that like?
01:13:34.000 Tell me what happened.
01:13:36.000 Oh, God.
01:13:36.000 Do you not want to talk about it?
01:13:37.000 I can do it.
01:13:38.000 Because I'm not saying anything that's like wrong.
01:13:41.000 It's just something that happened.
01:13:43.000 I get a call from Steve Byrne.
01:13:44.000 Okay.
01:13:45.000 And Steve goes, you want to go to Israel?
01:13:47.000 How long ago was this?
01:13:52.000 14 years ago, maybe.
01:13:53.000 Oh!
01:13:54.000 Oh, okay.
01:13:54.000 Yeah.
01:13:55.000 Okay.
01:13:55.000 12, 14, I don't know.
01:13:56.000 And I go, why?
01:13:58.000 I don't want to do a show there.
01:13:59.000 And he goes, no.
01:14:00.000 You know, I got a call and they're flying out a bunch of comedians and actors and it's a free trip.
01:14:08.000 And I go, why?
01:14:10.000 I don't know.
01:14:10.000 They just want to show us the country.
01:14:12.000 And their culture.
01:14:13.000 And you get nice hotels, free meals, and you get a tour of like...
01:14:19.000 Are you not performing?
01:14:20.000 No.
01:14:20.000 Okay.
01:14:21.000 So I went there with Jamie Chung, Brian Greenberg, their actors, and Steve Lopez went out, George Lopez.
01:14:28.000 Okay.
01:14:29.000 And we went out there, and then when we got there, they were like, welcome.
01:14:33.000 We're like, thanks.
01:14:34.000 And they were like, but every day you have to tweet how great Israel is.
01:14:39.000 Every day?
01:14:40.000 Yeah, like put out a tweet.
01:14:41.000 They told you you have to, and they didn't say anything about that before you left?
01:14:45.000 I don't remember them saying it before.
01:14:47.000 But they might have?
01:14:48.000 They could have.
01:14:50.000 Maybe they said it to Steve, and Steve conveniently left it out?
01:14:53.000 I don't know, but I do know that I feel like if they did say it, that I would have questioned it.
01:14:59.000 Right.
01:15:00.000 You know what I mean?
01:15:00.000 Yeah.
01:15:01.000 So I don't know.
01:15:02.000 So this is the early days of Twitter, right?
01:15:05.000 Yeah.
01:15:06.000 Twitter's only like 12 years old.
01:15:08.000 It was 10 years ago then, I don't know.
01:15:10.000 How old is Twitter?
01:15:12.000 Oh, there it is.
01:15:13.000 Israel unfiltered.
01:15:15.000 So 2006. Yeah, yeah.
01:15:17.000 Look at that.
01:15:17.000 So 2006, when was that?
01:15:18.000 Look at your face!
01:15:20.000 I was like, I have to tweet?
01:15:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:15:24.000 But here's what happened.
01:15:25.000 As soon as I tweeted the first thing, I already knew, like, oh my god, I think I'm in trouble.
01:15:32.000 Why?
01:15:32.000 What'd you say?
01:15:33.000 I just said, Israel's great, they're beautiful people, you know what I mean?
01:15:37.000 Okay.
01:15:37.000 And they flew us out here for free, and then you would just get a thousand like, you know what I mean?
01:15:45.000 That were like, you know, Palestinian, you know?
01:15:48.000 And going, you mother...
01:15:49.000 It was like negative, negative, negative.
01:15:52.000 And there was these gigantic wars that would go on in the comment section.
01:15:56.000 Oh, boy.
01:15:56.000 It just got really uncomfortable.
01:15:58.000 And then I just remember, you know...
01:16:00.000 Yeah, there I am.
01:16:01.000 Nice hat.
01:16:02.000 Nice hat.
01:16:03.000 You should wear that all the time.
01:16:05.000 I look cute with it.
01:16:06.000 Is that the famous wall?
01:16:07.000 That's the wall, yeah.
01:16:08.000 What would it feel like to be around that wall?
01:16:10.000 That wall's old as fuck, right?
01:16:12.000 How old's that wall?
01:16:13.000 I put a note in it.
01:16:14.000 Wow.
01:16:15.000 You could write little letters.
01:16:17.000 You know what I mean?
01:16:17.000 Letters to Jesus?
01:16:18.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:16:19.000 And you put it in there.
01:16:20.000 Dear Jesus, when you come out.
01:16:20.000 I think mine was like, let me get more pussy or whatever.
01:16:22.000 Nice.
01:16:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:16:23.000 That wall.
01:16:24.000 How old's that wall?
01:16:27.000 19 BC. Yeah.
01:16:28.000 Wow.
01:16:29.000 But then toward the end, I was just like, I gotta get the fuck out of here, I think.
01:16:32.000 Yeah, I was just like...
01:16:33.000 How many tweets did you make?
01:16:35.000 And did you keep going after they were attacking you?
01:16:39.000 Yeah, I think so, yeah.
01:16:40.000 You have to, otherwise you don't get your hotel.
01:16:42.000 Yeah, it was like a free thing.
01:16:44.000 And I didn't know the significance of it until later, almost, like, you know what I mean, or the significance, but like, what the impact of it, you know?
01:16:52.000 Right.
01:16:53.000 Because I, you know, obviously, you know, I mean, obviously I have my opinions about it, you know what I mean, that I'm keeping to myself, but it's like...
01:17:02.000 It's not fully aligned with what people think I should be.
01:17:07.000 You have to be careful because I live in LA. Oh, I hear you.
01:17:11.000 Look, it's a complicated issue.
01:17:12.000 It's so complicated.
01:17:13.000 And it's terrifying.
01:17:14.000 Would you look at the video of when they do an overhead of what Gaza used to look like and what it looks like now?
01:17:22.000 I mean, it's insane.
01:17:25.000 It's fucking insane.
01:17:27.000 It's going to take over a year to clean up just the rubble.
01:17:30.000 Oh my god.
01:17:31.000 But it's like 25,000 now?
01:17:33.000 At least.
01:17:34.000 At least.
01:17:34.000 They don't know how many people are dead.
01:17:36.000 They have no idea.
01:17:37.000 And half the population is women and children.
01:17:40.000 And the trauma.
01:17:42.000 Uh-huh.
01:17:43.000 And the fucking, you know, famine.
01:17:46.000 It's just, I just can't even comprehend it, really.
01:17:50.000 Yeah, and the Israelis tell you that it's necessary.
01:17:53.000 And that they have to get rid of Hamas.
01:17:55.000 And this is the way to do it.
01:17:57.000 I mean, I believe that.
01:17:58.000 I believe that.
01:17:59.000 I believe that maybe that should be...
01:18:02.000 But I think the approach could be different.
01:18:04.000 Yeah.
01:18:05.000 Right or no?
01:18:06.000 I don't have any expertise in war.
01:18:09.000 Me either.
01:18:09.000 But I'm horrified that they can just shoot missiles into buildings.
01:18:15.000 And they tell people to get out, but then they bomb the areas where they're going to.
01:18:18.000 I mean, the whole thing's nuts, man.
01:18:20.000 It's nuts and it's so dangerous.
01:18:23.000 It's so dangerous.
01:18:25.000 These free Palestine marches that are happening all over the world, those are all organized too, by the way.
01:18:32.000 When you get on social media and you see the free Palestine people and the pro-Israel people, what percentage of those people are bots?
01:18:39.000 Right.
01:18:40.000 It's not zero.
01:18:41.000 It's not zero.
01:18:42.000 There's a lot of what's getting stirred up, a lot of the hateful things that are being said, a lot of the crazy things that are being said.
01:18:47.000 I guarantee you a lot of that's being instigated by foreign countries.
01:18:51.000 And that's what's scary about social media and the influence it has on people and the way they feel about a particular issue.
01:18:57.000 And that's on top of the horrific nature of the issue itself, both of October 7th, which is undeniably horrific, and then this.
01:19:05.000 And then on top of that, you have this open anti-Semitism that we never saw before, where it's just open everywhere.
01:19:15.000 It's wild!
01:19:16.000 It's fucking terrible.
01:19:17.000 It's so scary, man.
01:19:19.000 But it's also an issue that will never be resolved.
01:19:22.000 But it's not just that it'll never be resolved.
01:19:24.000 Like, I never thought it was going to be an issue where the presidents of, like, major universities were standing in front of Congress, and they were justifying people saying, death to the Jews, that it wasn't harassment unless it was actionable.
01:19:37.000 That's insane, yeah.
01:19:39.000 When the Congresswoman was trying to get them to expand on that, do you mean actual genocide, then it's harassment?
01:19:46.000 When they commit actual genocide?
01:19:47.000 What the fuck are you saying?
01:19:49.000 But it's the same thing we were talking about.
01:19:51.000 It's the cult.
01:19:52.000 They're in that leftist cult.
01:19:54.000 And it's not reasonable.
01:19:56.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:19:57.000 It's all crazy.
01:19:58.000 Oh, and when they were like, Osama bin Laden could have been Ryan or whatever.
01:20:02.000 Do you remember that fucking trend?
01:20:04.000 Oh, yeah.
01:20:04.000 Fucking insane!
01:20:05.000 Mm-hmm.
01:20:07.000 What are you talking about?
01:20:07.000 And these are people, right, that weren't there.
01:20:10.000 I was there.
01:20:11.000 That's a TikTok thing too, by the way.
01:20:12.000 Yeah.
01:20:12.000 Osama Bin Laden.
01:20:13.000 In 2000, right?
01:20:15.000 2001, I was on MADtv.
01:20:18.000 9-11 happened.
01:20:20.000 I went to work the next day.
01:20:21.000 Andrew Daly, one of the actors, his cousin was on one of the flights, right?
01:20:25.000 And I could feel the pain.
01:20:28.000 Right?
01:20:28.000 And, you know, we were inundated with the fucking footage.
01:20:32.000 And just in the moment, it was fucking horrifying.
01:20:36.000 It changed America.
01:20:38.000 100%.
01:20:39.000 And now people that weren't even around then, kids, which is fine, but now they have these grand ideas about...
01:20:48.000 It's insane!
01:20:49.000 Well, it's also, where did Osama Bin Laden come from?
01:20:53.000 Well, he came from the CIA funding them, the Mujahideen, to fight against the Soviet Union.
01:21:00.000 They're trained.
01:21:01.000 They're trained by Americans.
01:21:02.000 Look, there's a certain reality to American imperialism.
01:21:06.000 It doesn't do anybody any good to deny it.
01:21:08.000 We have military bases everywhere.
01:21:11.000 If you were a foreign country, in a nationalistic foreign country, of course you'd hate America.
01:21:15.000 Of course you'd hate what we do.
01:21:17.000 I mean, look at what's going on right now with this Ukraine-Russia thing.
01:21:21.000 Look at how much money is being funneled through that.
01:21:25.000 Insane amounts of money.
01:21:26.000 Yeah, and most of it's like embezzled, right?
01:21:29.000 Who fucking knows?
01:21:30.000 But again, it's not zero.
01:21:32.000 It's not zero percent.
01:21:33.000 It's getting embezzled.
01:21:34.000 And the fact that all of a sudden no one wanted to admit that Ukraine had always been a very corrupt country.
01:21:39.000 There's a crazy Twitter exchange between Candace Owens and the New York Times, where Candace Owens was talking about how corrupt Ukraine is, and then the New York Times says to her, Like, what evidence do you have that Ukraine is corrupt?
01:21:53.000 She goes, oh, you mean the links from your fucking newspaper?
01:21:56.000 And just from like 2016 and before that.
01:21:59.000 There's all these fucking stories about how corrupt Ukraine is.
01:22:02.000 In the New York Times.
01:22:03.000 They didn't even bother looking it up.
01:22:05.000 Because when you're in the cult, the cult says you support Ukraine.
01:22:10.000 Do you want Ukraine to win or do you want Russia to win?
01:22:13.000 Like, what the fuck are you even saying?
01:22:15.000 Yeah.
01:22:15.000 How much do you know about why this thing was instigated in the first place?
01:22:19.000 How much do you know about NATO? About how much they're moving arms closer to the Soviet Union?
01:22:23.000 About how Ukraine joining NATO was always a red flag?
01:22:26.000 Do you know?
01:22:28.000 I don't know.
01:22:29.000 I don't know nothing.
01:22:29.000 Most people that are talking about it don't know either.
01:22:31.000 That was the red line that you could not cross.
01:22:34.000 Ukraine joining Russia.
01:22:35.000 Or joining NATO, rather.
01:22:37.000 The whole thing's fucking terrifying.
01:22:39.000 Because we're dealing with nuclear superpowers.
01:22:42.000 When Xi Jinping tells Biden that Taiwan will join China again, like, that means they're going to take Taiwan?
01:22:49.000 What are we going to do if they take Taiwan?
01:22:52.000 And then Biden says we're not going to do anything.
01:22:55.000 Like, okay.
01:22:56.000 First he said we're going to stop them, now he says we're not going to do anything.
01:22:59.000 Like, oh my god.
01:23:01.000 And he's only saying whatever the fuck they write down for him.
01:23:05.000 The whole thing's nuts.
01:23:06.000 It's like who's deciding what happens and doesn't happen?
01:23:10.000 It's not that guy, right?
01:23:11.000 So if it's not him, who the fuck is it?
01:23:13.000 Is it the Secretary of State?
01:23:14.000 Is it the press secretary?
01:23:17.000 Is it the military-industrial complex?
01:23:19.000 Are they completely at the helm?
01:23:20.000 Will they ever let control of that wheel to anybody else now that they have it?
01:23:24.000 Is it the shit you think about when you lay in bed at night?
01:23:27.000 Mm-hmm.
01:23:29.000 How the fuck do you sleep?
01:23:31.000 Sometimes I don't.
01:23:32.000 That's a real problem at night.
01:23:33.000 At night, I have my most anxiety-filled moments about this stuff.
01:23:38.000 I've talked about it openly.
01:23:39.000 But I'll really freak out at night because I legitimately think we are one or two events away from living in the Stone Age again.
01:23:48.000 And I think it could happen in our lifetime, and it could happen to you and I. Like, I'm really convinced that the fabric of society is way more fragile than anyone appreciates.
01:23:59.000 Yeah.
01:24:00.000 That most people appreciate, rather.
01:24:01.000 I mean, I feel it in the air.
01:24:03.000 Yeah.
01:24:03.000 Well, you saw it during the George Floyd times in LA. Oh, yeah.
01:24:06.000 I felt it.
01:24:07.000 That was Mad Max times.
01:24:08.000 Right.
01:24:09.000 When they were burning those cop cars on the highway, and I remember seeing that going, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
01:24:13.000 Yeah.
01:24:14.000 This ain't gonna get better.
01:24:15.000 Was it that or COVID that made you?
01:24:17.000 Both those things.
01:24:18.000 And the money, probably, like, taxes?
01:24:19.000 No.
01:24:20.000 That was not even a consideration.
01:24:21.000 Taxes, okay.
01:24:22.000 It was nice, but it was the freedom.
01:24:23.000 It was these fucking dipshits, like the mayor of Los Angeles, telling everybody what businesses they can and can't have open, what's essential and non-essential.
01:24:33.000 Like, says who?
01:24:34.000 Yeah.
01:24:34.000 And after a while, when a bunch of people had had COVID and then gotten over it, and they were fine, I was like, well, wait a minute.
01:24:41.000 How scary is this?
01:24:42.000 And why are we closing everything down?
01:24:44.000 Why aren't we giving people choice?
01:24:45.000 I bought into it!
01:24:48.000 I didn't even leave the house for two fucking years!
01:24:51.000 I didn't even go to the grocery store, and I had to spray everything down.
01:24:56.000 Doritos, spraying it with...
01:24:57.000 It was insane!
01:24:58.000 Well, my whole family got it early on, before there was anything.
01:25:02.000 Before there was a vaccine, before there was anything.
01:25:04.000 And I didn't get it.
01:25:05.000 And I didn't do anything different.
01:25:06.000 I hugged my kids.
01:25:07.000 I fucked my wife.
01:25:08.000 I hung out with them.
01:25:10.000 I just took care of myself.
01:25:12.000 You've had a COVID though, right?
01:25:13.000 Yeah, I got it eventually.
01:25:14.000 Yeah, I got it too.
01:25:15.000 I got it when the Delta variant was around.
01:25:18.000 I got it when I was doing arenas in Florida.
01:25:20.000 And I got it because I was hanging out with my friend John Shulman.
01:25:23.000 My friend John Shulman is a buddy of mine who makes pool cues.
01:25:27.000 And he lives right there and I got to see him after the show and we played pool till like 3.30 in the morning and I was exhausted.
01:25:33.000 I had like fucking five margaritas and then I got sick.
01:25:37.000 But even then it wasn't that bad.
01:25:38.000 But my point is like my whole family got it and I didn't get it.
01:25:42.000 They weren't vaccinated.
01:25:43.000 No, no.
01:25:44.000 There was no vaccine back then.
01:25:45.000 And I didn't do anything different, man.
01:25:48.000 I remember I worked out two days where I was tired, and I realized I was fighting something off.
01:25:54.000 There was two days where I was in the gym.
01:25:56.000 I was like, you know what?
01:25:57.000 I'm just going to go through the motions here.
01:25:59.000 I'm just going to lift light weights and just let my body break a little bit of a sweat, but no exertion.
01:26:05.000 Just get some circulation going.
01:26:06.000 So I did some kettlebell exercises, like 35 pounds.
01:26:10.000 Nothing strenuous.
01:26:11.000 Just nice and light.
01:26:13.000 Just get the body moving.
01:26:14.000 And then the next day, I went back in the gym.
01:26:16.000 I feel the same.
01:26:17.000 Same thing.
01:26:18.000 Today, same thing.
01:26:19.000 Did some push-ups.
01:26:20.000 Did some chin-ups.
01:26:21.000 Nothing crazy like reps of five chin-ups.
01:26:24.000 Just a little bit of exercise.
01:26:26.000 Nothing strenuous.
01:26:27.000 And then the next day, I felt great.
01:26:29.000 The next day, I had a full regular workout.
01:26:31.000 So whatever it was, I fought it off.
01:26:33.000 And so then I was like, well, what...
01:26:36.000 What is at play here?
01:26:38.000 Can your immune system stop this, or is it something that you 100% get?
01:26:42.000 No, it seems very infectious, but it also seems like if you have a healthy immune system, this isn't a death sentence.
01:26:47.000 This isn't Ebola.
01:26:49.000 So what the fuck is going on?
01:26:51.000 And then the vaccine came out, and I signed up to get vaccinated.
01:26:55.000 The UFC had this whole allotment of vaccines.
01:26:57.000 But I was there on a Friday for the UFC, and they said, you have to go to the clinic.
01:27:02.000 And I said, I can't.
01:27:03.000 I don't have the time.
01:27:05.000 They said, can you come back Monday?
01:27:06.000 I said, no, but I'll be back in two weeks.
01:27:08.000 So I was going to get vaccinated in two weeks.
01:27:10.000 And in the two weeks, they pulled it.
01:27:11.000 They pulled the Johnson& Johnson for blood clots.
01:27:14.000 And two people I knew got strokes.
01:27:16.000 Two people.
01:27:16.000 Two people.
01:27:18.000 Within the 10 days of taking that vaccine, two people I knew had strokes.
01:27:23.000 Like healthy people.
01:27:25.000 Like weird blood clots.
01:27:26.000 People were getting blood clots.
01:27:27.000 I mean, it is true that if you were older, though, like 70, and you had some sort of like, you know what I mean, comorbidity?
01:27:35.000 What's the word?
01:27:36.000 Comorbidity.
01:27:37.000 Comorbidity, right?
01:27:37.000 That they could die, right?
01:27:39.000 I mean, that's a true thing, right?
01:27:40.000 Like Herman Cain, he died.
01:27:42.000 Oh, yeah.
01:27:43.000 They die of the flu, too.
01:27:45.000 I mean, it's a bad cold.
01:27:46.000 It's not dismissing what it is, but it's dismissing this control that all of a sudden the medical industrial complex and the government has over you and your job and your choices in your life for something that now they admit they could have never contained,
01:28:01.000 that it was never going to stop transmission, that it was never going to stop infection.
01:28:04.000 It was all just lies.
01:28:06.000 They lied about the efficacy.
01:28:08.000 They lied about the protection in parts.
01:28:10.000 They put it out on MSNBC. Rachel Maddow.
01:28:13.000 The virus stops with you.
01:28:15.000 You can't get it.
01:28:16.000 And it's not true.
01:28:17.000 It was not true.
01:28:18.000 There was no evidence that it did that.
01:28:19.000 Yeah.
01:28:20.000 Not only was there no evidence, they never even tested it for transmission.
01:28:24.000 Wow.
01:28:24.000 They just tested it to try to see if it makes antibodies.
01:28:26.000 But what scared me was when Michael Yeo, you know Michael Yeo.
01:28:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:28:29.000 When he was in the ICU because of COVID. In my mind, I don't know why, because I know that Michael Yeo is athletic.
01:28:37.000 I thought to myself, oh, if he's in the ICU, I would have died!
01:28:41.000 Meanwhile, his mom got it, and she was fine.
01:28:45.000 Michael, yo, he's weak.
01:28:46.000 I don't know what it is, man.
01:28:48.000 It could have caught him absolutely exhausted.
01:28:51.000 Maybe, yeah.
01:28:51.000 That's what I've heard of people getting it really bad.
01:28:53.000 It catches them when they go on a bender.
01:28:55.000 And that's what happened with me.
01:28:56.000 I was drinking until 3.30 in the morning.
01:28:59.000 I think when...
01:29:00.000 Drinking, first of all, is absolutely terrible for your body and terrible for your immune system.
01:29:06.000 And if you're drinking, like, I was drinking these five super sweet, super potent margaritas.
01:29:12.000 We were hammered.
01:29:14.000 Actually, I came from a show, too.
01:29:16.000 So I did a show that night.
01:29:17.000 I probably had a couple of drinks at the show.
01:29:19.000 So it's like you're not in a good place to fight off anything like that.
01:29:24.000 You're exhausted and drunk.
01:29:26.000 I've been sick that way many times.
01:29:28.000 The times in my past when I've caught a cold or caught the flu, it's almost always when I'm run down.
01:29:34.000 Almost always.
01:29:35.000 So I don't know, maybe Michael Yeo was really run down when he got it.
01:29:38.000 I know a guy who got COVID really bad because him and his buddies were drinking.
01:29:42.000 They were drinking and they were partying and he was really fucked up and then the next day COVID hit him bad.
01:29:48.000 But he was weak.
01:29:49.000 His body was weakened by a bender.
01:29:52.000 They were drunk all night and then in the morning he started feeling like shit and then it caught him bad.
01:29:58.000 Yeah, but when I got out, it was really bad.
01:30:00.000 But I lived through it, and it was fine.
01:30:03.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:30:03.000 There's a lot of different things that were at play there.
01:30:05.000 First of all, there was just general metabolic health that was completely ignored.
01:30:10.000 People told you, all you have to do is get vaccinated.
01:30:12.000 That's horseshit.
01:30:13.000 Your immune system is complex, and it relies on a bunch of different things to keep it effective.
01:30:19.000 It relies on good nutrition.
01:30:21.000 It relies on sleep.
01:30:22.000 It relies on low stress.
01:30:24.000 It relies on vitamins and nutrients.
01:30:26.000 Healthy diet.
01:30:27.000 Exercise.
01:30:28.000 All those things were huge factors, and they ignored every single one of them.
01:30:33.000 When you look at the number of people that died of COVID, something like 90-plus percent had four-plus comorbidities.
01:30:41.000 Four-plus.
01:30:42.000 Cancer, diabetes, heart attack risk.
01:30:45.000 Fill in the blank.
01:30:47.000 Four-plus.
01:30:48.000 Comorbidities.
01:30:49.000 90 plus percent of them.
01:30:50.000 Yeah.
01:30:51.000 It's not that it's not bad.
01:30:52.000 Of course it's bad.
01:30:54.000 But you know what's worse?
01:30:55.000 You motherfuckers telling everybody what they have to do and not have to do.
01:30:59.000 You motherfuckers telling people they can shut their businesses down and they have to take this experimental medication regardless of whether or not they have natural immunity.
01:31:08.000 Dude, it was Gestapo shit.
01:31:10.000 I'm with you, bud.
01:31:10.000 I'm with you.
01:31:11.000 It was fucking mind control.
01:31:14.000 It was totalitarian, authoritarian tactics.
01:31:18.000 They were limiting people's livelihood, limiting people's ability to travel, shaming people.
01:31:24.000 The fucking government released, during Omicron, which is nothing but a cold, they released this thing.
01:31:29.000 For the people who've been vaccinated, you did your job.
01:31:32.000 For those unvaccinated, you experience a winter, what is it, severe illness and death?
01:31:38.000 You're looking towards a winter of severe illness and death?
01:31:43.000 When Biden's on TV, our patience is wearing thin.
01:31:46.000 We've been patient, but our patience is wearing thin.
01:31:48.000 Hey, motherfucker, our patience is wearing thin with you.
01:31:50.000 You can't even form a goddamn sentence.
01:31:52.000 Yeah.
01:31:52.000 You fucking zombie.
01:31:54.000 What are you talking about?
01:31:55.000 Your patience is wearing thin.
01:31:56.000 You're not even looking at data.
01:31:58.000 You're not talking about reality.
01:31:59.000 You're talking to the cult.
01:32:01.000 Can I ask you, why are they so reluctant to not give us a different option there?
01:32:07.000 Because it's control.
01:32:08.000 Because whenever there's anything that happens in the world, whether it's 9-11 and through 9-11 they passed the Patriot Act.
01:32:14.000 And there was a devastating blow to free speech and control and just your ability to have privacy.
01:32:21.000 The government had full reign to listen to all your phone calls, read all your emails, and they're doing it right now.
01:32:28.000 And the NSA is doing it right now.
01:32:30.000 They can listen to any time you make a phone call to someone.
01:32:33.000 It's all getting recorded.
01:32:34.000 Yeah, but when we complain, like, Biden's a little too old, maybe can we find a different option?
01:32:38.000 They're not even open to the idea of it.
01:32:41.000 It's just like, no, he's the guy.
01:32:43.000 He's not in control right now, right?
01:32:45.000 So if the people who are in control are in control right now, why would they want to swap out a new person?
01:32:50.000 Deep state.
01:32:51.000 Well, for real.
01:32:52.000 Is it deep state?
01:32:52.000 Listen.
01:32:53.000 Yeah.
01:32:54.000 You could put whatever words you want, but if you don't think that these corporations that donate insane amounts of money to political campaigns have an influence on what happens in the world, you're naive.
01:33:04.000 That's a silly way to think of things.
01:33:06.000 Now, if you've got a guy who basically has no mind and he is your figurehead, if you can keep him alive for four years, you just run it the way you're running it right now.
01:33:16.000 Wow.
01:33:17.000 All you have to do is get that other guy arrested a ton of times.
01:33:19.000 Just keep arresting them.
01:33:21.000 Keep trumping up new charges.
01:33:25.000 Put him out there in the fucking news every day.
01:33:27.000 Terrible things he's done.
01:33:28.000 He's an authoritarian.
01:33:29.000 He's gonna lock all the gays up.
01:33:32.000 If you just say that enough, the people that are uninformed and aren't paying attention, they're going to listen.
01:33:37.000 And then if you have mail-in ballots and if you have a voter machine shenanigans, if you can fucking sway things one way or another, then you stay in power.
01:33:47.000 You stay in power.
01:33:49.000 Same person stays as the figurehead and the same people run it now.
01:33:53.000 Do you believe the election was stolen then?
01:33:55.000 No.
01:33:55.000 Okay.
01:33:56.000 I believe that there are, without a doubt, in every election, there's election fraud.
01:34:01.000 Sure!
01:34:02.000 It's like, what's the number?
01:34:03.000 Yeah.
01:34:03.000 So that's what I say.
01:34:04.000 I don't know what the number is.
01:34:05.000 I know Trump apparently released a whole bunch of documents showing irregularities, showing that the mail-in ballots were incorrect.
01:34:13.000 The mail-in ballots is something Putin talked about recently.
01:34:15.000 He said the 2020 elections were stolen and they used mail-in ballots.
01:34:19.000 But who knows why he's saying that.
01:34:20.000 But these things happen every cycle, right?
01:34:21.000 Every election these things happen.
01:34:23.000 There's irregularities.
01:34:24.000 Hillary claimed that she won.
01:34:26.000 I mean, John Kerry claimed that he won.
01:34:29.000 Al Gore claimed that he won.
01:34:31.000 Remember the dangling chads?
01:34:33.000 In Florida.
01:34:33.000 In Florida.
01:34:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:34:35.000 But the difference is that Al, though, went, okay, I'm going to concede.
01:34:41.000 Sort of.
01:34:41.000 Took a long time.
01:34:43.000 You know, the Al Gore, George Bush won.
01:34:45.000 How long did that go on before he conceded?
01:34:47.000 I want to say it was a few months.
01:34:50.000 I don't think it was as simple as just conceding.
01:34:53.000 Okay.
01:34:53.000 I think the Al Gore, George Bush one went on for quite a while, if I remember correctly, because I remember being confused, like, wow, this never happened before.
01:35:01.000 A month or so.
01:35:02.000 A month.
01:35:02.000 A month or so, okay.
01:35:03.000 So think of that.
01:35:05.000 Think of like a whole month where they're trying to decide if it's true.
01:35:09.000 Right.
01:35:09.000 Right.
01:35:09.000 It's fucking weird.
01:35:11.000 And there was a documentary that HBO did back when Bush was president during these times.
01:35:15.000 Well, this was when it was okay to deny the election because it was a Republican that was in office.
01:35:21.000 And there was a documentary called Hacking Democracy.
01:35:24.000 And in that documentary, they were using – I think they were using Diebold machines.
01:35:28.000 And Diebold, they also make a lot of ATM machines.
01:35:31.000 They make various machines.
01:35:32.000 But what they had found in this documentary was that there was the ability to have a third-party input.
01:35:39.000 So first party input is you, you're the voter.
01:35:41.000 Second party is me, I collect the vote.
01:35:43.000 Third party input was also there.
01:35:45.000 And so they used that on the documentary to change the vote.
01:35:51.000 So they used it to change the numbers.
01:35:53.000 Wow.
01:35:54.000 And they showed that they can do it.
01:35:55.000 Wow.
01:35:56.000 I'll send you something, Jamie, I don't know if this is true, but someone said that someone had just done this recently.
01:36:04.000 Here, I'll send you this, because this is just something that someone tweeted.
01:36:09.000 I don't know if it's true, but I wanted to send it to Jamie so Jamie could research it.
01:36:14.000 But what this says...
01:36:17.000 Is that in federal court in Atlanta, Georgia, computer scientist and engineering professor J. Alex Halderman was able to hack a Dominion voting tabulator in front of U.S. District Judge Amy Totenberg using only a pen to change the vote totals.
01:36:35.000 That happened this time?
01:36:37.000 Supposedly.
01:36:37.000 Wow.
01:36:38.000 This is a tweet from just a couple of days ago.
01:36:41.000 Wow.
01:36:42.000 That was a tweet from, actually a tweet from, when was it?
01:36:46.000 Anyway, I don't know if that's true, but that's crazy if it is.
01:36:52.000 Yeah.
01:36:52.000 This is actually from two days ago.
01:36:55.000 Wow.
01:36:55.000 This person tweeted this.
01:36:56.000 Now, we'll look, see if that's horseshit, but here's the thing.
01:37:01.000 When you have computers, If you have a phone, like with Pegasus, Pegasus was the first one that, by the way, the Israelis created Pegasus.
01:37:10.000 And Pegasus was a software that, that's what they used to get Jeff Bezos when they got his dick pics and all that shit.
01:37:17.000 Oh yeah, good ones, good ones, good ones.
01:37:18.000 When they did that with him, what they did was someone sent him a link in WhatsApp I think it was the head of Saudi Arabia, allegedly sent him a link in WhatsApp.
01:37:30.000 He clicked the link and then Pegasus was downloaded on his phone.
01:37:34.000 Now, you don't even have to click a link anymore.
01:37:37.000 Now, they can get Pegasus on your phone.
01:37:39.000 All they need is your phone number.
01:37:41.000 I could have Pegasus now?
01:37:42.000 They probably do.
01:37:43.000 You probably do.
01:37:44.000 You have it?
01:37:44.000 I'm sure.
01:37:45.000 Oh, no.
01:37:46.000 How do we detect it?
01:37:47.000 Is there an app?
01:37:48.000 I don't believe so.
01:37:49.000 Okay.
01:37:49.000 I think...
01:37:51.000 According to Gavin DeBecker, who's a securities expert, these things are constantly evolving and they get better all the time.
01:37:57.000 They don't tell you when they're better.
01:37:59.000 Yeah.
01:37:59.000 They just have better technology.
01:38:01.000 Yeah.
01:38:01.000 But he's aware of Pegasus, too.
01:38:03.000 And he said with Pegasus, too, all they need is your phone number.
01:38:07.000 Yeah.
01:38:08.000 Hey!
01:38:08.000 But Joe, can I ask you something?
01:38:11.000 Mm-hmm.
01:38:15.000 Can't you just shut it off and not...
01:38:17.000 I mean, there's so many people in this country who just walk around and they just don't...
01:38:22.000 All these things that we're talking about right now, they don't think about it.
01:38:24.000 They just live their lives.
01:38:25.000 Don't you think that that's a happier life or no?
01:38:30.000 Depends on whether or not...
01:38:33.000 Your voice actually matters.
01:38:35.000 So if you can change the way people think, and you can change the way people look at things, and then those people vote in such mass numbers that you can't make stealing the vote possible.
01:38:47.000 Because enough people realize it's horseshit to the point where the overwhelming majority...
01:38:52.000 You would have to have fraud that's so apparent that no one would buy into it.
01:38:56.000 It'd be a national scandal.
01:38:59.000 We need whistleblowers.
01:39:00.000 We have them.
01:39:01.000 We put them in jail.
01:39:03.000 Look at Edward Snowden.
01:39:04.000 He said he has to live in Russia now.
01:39:06.000 Look at Julian Assange.
01:39:07.000 She's fucked.
01:39:08.000 They've been prosecuting that guy forever.
01:39:10.000 And if you ask what the crime is, it's nothing.
01:39:13.000 He's a journalist.
01:39:15.000 I just feel so stressed out right now.
01:39:18.000 Why?!
01:39:20.000 It's stressing me out.
01:39:22.000 That's the reality that we live in.
01:39:24.000 We live in a very dangerous, complicated world.
01:39:26.000 Yeah.
01:39:26.000 Halderman, a University of Michigan computer scientist, changed results of a hypothetical referendum on Sunday alcohol sales.
01:39:32.000 He flipped the winner in a theoretical election between President George Washington and Benedict Arnold, the Revolutionary War general who defected to the British.
01:39:40.000 He rigged the machine to print out as many ballots as he wanted.
01:39:44.000 Wow.
01:39:45.000 All he needed was a pen to reach a button inside the touchscreen, a fake $10 voter card that he had programmed, or a $100 USB device that he plugged into a cord connected to a printer, rewriting the touchscreen's code.
01:40:00.000 Haldeman delivered his presentation during an election security trial evaluating whether Georgia's voting system is vulnerable to manipulation or programming errors.
01:40:09.000 All in-person voters in Georgia make their choices on touch screens that print out paper ballots.
01:40:15.000 I believe Georgia was supposed to update their machines, and then there was a talk of when they were going to do it.
01:40:23.000 And I think it's also taken into consideration, other than just corruption, it might also be a budget issue.
01:40:29.000 The headline says, election officials say these vulnerabilities are merely speculative.
01:40:35.000 Oh, merely speculative.
01:40:36.000 It's safe and effective.
01:40:37.000 Our election is safe and effective.
01:40:39.000 These people dropping dead.
01:40:41.000 There's 40% increase in all-cause mortalities.
01:40:44.000 Ages 18 to 34. There's nothing to concern yourself with.
01:40:47.000 That's normal.
01:40:49.000 But it's merely speculative.
01:40:51.000 Yeah.
01:40:51.000 These people all have your best interest in mind.
01:40:55.000 Is that a cigar?
01:40:55.000 These are little baby cigars.
01:40:56.000 Can I have one?
01:40:57.000 Yeah, sure.
01:40:57.000 Okay.
01:40:58.000 You're okay with nicotine cigars?
01:41:00.000 Yeah, I'm not gonna inhale it.
01:41:01.000 You want a real cigar?
01:41:01.000 A big one?
01:41:02.000 No, the little ones.
01:41:03.000 You want a real cigar?
01:41:05.000 These are good.
01:41:06.000 I like them.
01:41:06.000 Yeah, why don't you have one of these?
01:41:07.000 Is it Cuban?
01:41:08.000 Yeah.
01:41:08.000 No, these are from Nicaragua.
01:41:10.000 These are JRE cigars.
01:41:11.000 Oh, fuck.
01:41:12.000 They're actually really good.
01:41:13.000 Yeah.
01:41:13.000 Here, I'll open it for you.
01:41:15.000 This is what I think, man.
01:41:16.000 Okay.
01:41:17.000 I think evil's real.
01:41:19.000 And I think evil exists in many forms, and it exists in callous disregard for loss of life for profit.
01:41:25.000 That's evil, right?
01:41:27.000 And that's a real thing.
01:41:28.000 Like, you could say evil is the devil.
01:41:30.000 Here's a little lighter here, buddy.
01:41:33.000 You could say evil is Satan and evil is demons and evil is, you know, exorcisms and shit.
01:41:39.000 There you go.
01:41:40.000 Look at that, baby.
01:41:41.000 But also, evil is profit over human life, which is real.
01:41:46.000 Evil is cobalt mines in the Congo.
01:41:49.000 When you watch pregnant women mining for cobalt, getting toxic fumes in their lungs.
01:41:54.000 Some of them have babies on their back.
01:41:56.000 That's evil.
01:41:57.000 That's evil.
01:41:57.000 They're living in dirt floors with no sanitation.
01:42:00.000 It's horrific conditions and that is in everybody's cell phone.
01:42:05.000 In everyone's cell phone is the labor of essentially people so poor, they don't have to choose whether they're slaves or not.
01:42:13.000 There's no other option for them to work.
01:42:16.000 But there's a powerlessness that one feels like, what is little Bobby Lee gonna do about any of this?
01:42:23.000 So it's like, a lot of times I'm just like, you know, everything that you said, I'm with you, but I'm just saying that, like, it stresses me out.
01:42:30.000 It should.
01:42:30.000 Yeah, and I want to walk around a little bit more free, and, you know...
01:42:35.000 You deserve that.
01:42:36.000 Yeah.
01:42:36.000 You're a comedian, man.
01:42:37.000 You provide laughter, and you help people, and if it's fucking you up...
01:42:43.000 Knowing about all this shit.
01:42:44.000 Yeah happening in the world that can get in the way of your job.
01:42:47.000 Yeah Yeah It's it's not an obligation to pay attention to everything.
01:42:53.000 Okay, but it is something that I think would help people break out of the cult Because that call it's like you think you're a good person if you buy hook line and sinker everything that the left says that's crazy These are the same people that want war.
01:43:09.000 These are the same people that are encouraging censorship.
01:43:12.000 These are the same people that are trying to silence dissent.
01:43:15.000 That's all totalitarian shit.
01:43:18.000 And just because it's done for trans kids or for Black Lives Matter or for any social...
01:43:24.000 Cause that you think is like undeniably worthy.
01:43:28.000 It's still the same thing at the end of the day.
01:43:30.000 The Patriot Act still controlled people in a way that was never allowed before.
01:43:35.000 And it did it under the guise that we have to stop a terrorist attack.
01:43:38.000 So even if they don't do evil shit to make these things happen, once these things happen, they take advantage by doing evil shit.
01:43:46.000 And they enact control over the people that they never had before.
01:43:50.000 And that's what they did during COVID. And the redistribution of wealth was insane.
01:43:55.000 Yeah.
01:43:55.000 The redistribution of wealth to big corporations and companies.
01:43:59.000 Like Gates profited that big.
01:44:00.000 Oh my God, so many people did.
01:44:01.000 Billions of dollars was moved.
01:44:03.000 Yeah.
01:44:04.000 Wow, it just stresses me out.
01:44:06.000 You want to talk about the movie?
01:44:07.000 Yeah.
01:44:10.000 Can we talk about the movie I'm promoting?
01:44:12.000 Yeah.
01:44:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:44:14.000 What's your movie, Bobby?
01:44:16.000 Oh, I'm barely in it.
01:44:20.000 And they're making me, you know what I mean?
01:44:21.000 But it's like...
01:44:22.000 But they're making you do promo and you're barely in it?
01:44:24.000 Well, I have four scenes.
01:44:25.000 What's it called?
01:44:26.000 It's called Drugstore June.
01:44:28.000 What's it about?
01:44:30.000 It's about a girl, Esther, right?
01:44:33.000 And she works at a pharmacy.
01:44:36.000 I play the main pharmacist.
01:44:38.000 And it's basically, she plays sort of like a Gen Z girl that's kind of out of touch.
01:44:43.000 It's kind of like a Juno, but it's more modern.
01:44:46.000 What I like about it, Joe, is this, okay?
01:44:49.000 Can I talk about Hollywood real quick?
01:44:53.000 Sure.
01:44:55.000 There's still gatekeepers, right?
01:44:58.000 And for me, it's like...
01:45:00.000 I think I'm perceived as dangerous.
01:45:02.000 I don't know why.
01:45:03.000 Because I'm on a podcast, I say shit, right?
01:45:06.000 And it's like, I'm always the fourth option.
01:45:09.000 It goes, Ronnie, Jimmy, Ken Jeong, right?
01:45:12.000 And I like acting, right?
01:45:13.000 So it's like, I think this is cool because it's like, everyone that's involved in it are dear friends of mine.
01:45:18.000 You know what I mean?
01:45:19.000 Pretty much everyone in the movie are people like Miss Pat and people that I know.
01:45:23.000 Oh, cool.
01:45:23.000 And it's cool to like have...
01:45:25.000 Yeah.
01:45:26.000 Let's watch the trailer.
01:45:27.000 Okay.
01:45:29.000 If you were gonna give me a consultation for plastic surgery...
01:45:33.000 That's not what I do here.
01:45:34.000 But just if you were, what do you think you would do to my face?
01:45:38.000 I'd probably start with your mouth.
01:45:40.000 Like lip filler?
01:45:41.000 No, I would sew that sucker shut.
01:45:53.000 I'm a loser.
01:45:55.000 Your Facebook group is right.
01:45:56.000 I have no life.
01:45:58.000 What did you ever see in this psycho?
01:46:02.000 One, two.
01:46:03.000 Oh, I messed it up.
01:46:04.000 I need a coffee break.
01:46:05.000 You're not even clocked in yet.
01:46:07.000 I haven't been getting paid for any of this.
01:46:09.000 Give me a double macchiato.
01:46:12.000 I brought you some hot chocolate.
01:46:14.000 You're interrupting my stream.
01:46:16.000 Okay.
01:46:17.000 Bye, June squad.
01:46:20.000 Well, thank you, Chad.
01:46:23.000 Ew!
01:46:25.000 I heard the pharmacy got robbed.
01:46:27.000 What the hell happened in here?
01:46:30.000 What's your name?
01:46:30.000 At Forever June on everything except snap at June Forever.
01:46:34.000 Your real life actual name.
01:46:38.000 June.
01:46:39.000 June.
01:46:39.000 This is not Queen June's private castle.
01:46:42.000 June the Almighty.
01:46:44.000 Oh.
01:46:45.000 June?
01:46:46.000 Oh my god, the poor man that ends up with her.
01:46:53.000 I think I'm gonna start doing some investigatory work.
01:46:56.000 Y'all heard anything about Pharmacy and Rob?
01:46:59.000 I don't watch the news.
01:47:00.000 All I do is smoke.
01:47:01.000 Wait!
01:47:02.000 Do you feel safe here?
01:47:03.000 I'm gonna have to!
01:47:06.000 I'm looking for information.
01:47:07.000 Hey, baby boo.
01:47:09.000 June Squad has a lot of time on their hands.
01:47:11.000 Take it easy.
01:47:11.000 I'll tell you what you want.
01:47:15.000 What are you doing here?
01:47:16.000 I'm collecting evidence.
01:47:17.000 You watch too many movies.
01:47:19.000 You are not a police officer.
01:47:22.000 Help us out here.
01:47:24.000 God, mug shots are so sexy.
01:47:27.000 Can I take this home?
01:47:28.000 No.
01:47:29.000 Did you watch it?
01:47:34.000 No.
01:47:35.000 So that's the first time you've seen the clip?
01:47:37.000 Yeah.
01:47:38.000 Well, Abby.
01:47:39.000 You know Abby Levitt told my manager.
01:47:41.000 She saw it.
01:47:42.000 She was like, it's pretty good.
01:47:44.000 And when she said that, I was just like, oh, I don't want to watch it.
01:47:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:47:47.000 But, you know, I've got to promote it.
01:47:49.000 I'm sure you're great in it.
01:47:55.000 I'm sure you're great in it.
01:47:56.000 You're hilarious.
01:47:57.000 But I want to say, though, that it's like, you know, it's our friends.
01:48:00.000 It's like, you know, you and your friends got together and we made a movie.
01:48:04.000 And I heard it's great and it's going to go into theaters.
01:48:06.000 There's all these things.
01:48:07.000 I'm going to see it.
01:48:08.000 I'm going to eventually see it.
01:48:09.000 Yeah.
01:48:09.000 I can't watch it myself.
01:48:10.000 Can I say something?
01:48:11.000 I've been to movies.
01:48:12.000 I get invited to premieres.
01:48:13.000 I leave.
01:48:13.000 Yeah, I don't want to watch me.
01:48:15.000 This was pretty good.
01:48:16.000 Oh, that's me in Death and Roman.
01:48:18.000 Yeah.
01:48:19.000 I'm pretty good in this.
01:48:20.000 It's in a short that just came out on YouTube.
01:48:21.000 It's like 15 minutes long.
01:48:22.000 Okay.
01:48:23.000 Yeah, but I'm okay in that.
01:48:24.000 Yeah.
01:48:25.000 So you want to get into acting.
01:48:26.000 You're enjoying it.
01:48:28.000 Can I ask you, you don't like it?
01:48:30.000 No, I don't like the process.
01:48:31.000 I love movies.
01:48:32.000 You're great in news radio.
01:48:34.000 Thank you very much.
01:48:34.000 Huge laughs.
01:48:35.000 It's fun.
01:48:36.000 Yeah.
01:48:37.000 Stand-up's more fun.
01:48:38.000 It is, but why can't you do all of it?
01:48:39.000 Because I don't want to deal with all those people.
01:48:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:48:43.000 That's why I did Fear Factor.
01:48:44.000 I didn't want to deal with actors anymore.
01:48:46.000 When Fear Factor came along, I was like, oh, this is perfect.
01:48:48.000 Not that there's anything wrong with that, and the cast on news radio were amazing.
01:48:52.000 Incredible.
01:48:52.000 It's just, you deal with a certain kind of person that is 60% insane.
01:48:58.000 60% of them are insane.
01:49:00.000 Yeah.
01:49:00.000 40% of them are cool as fuck.
01:49:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:49:02.000 But it's just like, I don't...
01:49:04.000 They're not fun to joke around with.
01:49:06.000 They're shitty.
01:49:07.000 They backstab.
01:49:08.000 They undermine you.
01:49:10.000 They go to producers and try to rewrite your words and say it conflicts with my lines.
01:49:16.000 It's like weird ego shit goes on with them.
01:49:18.000 They're weird, man.
01:49:20.000 They're weird people.
01:49:21.000 They are weird, but the jobs I have now, like I did Reservation Dogs.
01:49:25.000 I did I'm on Sex and the City, the new one.
01:49:28.000 Oh, how's that?
01:49:30.000 It's...
01:49:30.000 I said no to it the first couple of times that you're like, you want to do it?
01:49:34.000 Because I just didn't think that it was the right fit.
01:49:37.000 I had never seen it.
01:49:38.000 I know it's this big cultural thing.
01:49:39.000 Yeah.
01:49:40.000 But I just basically says, all I want to do is feel comfortable, dude.
01:49:43.000 I said that to MPK, that showrunner.
01:49:46.000 Because I don't want to go in there and feel like...
01:49:49.000 People are mean and I'm stressed out.
01:49:52.000 I don't need it.
01:49:53.000 And he comforted me.
01:49:55.000 He was like, no, we want you on the show.
01:49:57.000 And I would go to New York and everyone was super sweet.
01:50:00.000 I put myself in situations that aren't that.
01:50:03.000 I've had fucking directors call me a pan-faced gook.
01:50:07.000 What?
01:50:09.000 Yeah, I had a director call me that was.
01:50:10.000 Was he also?
01:50:11.000 No.
01:50:12.000 He was a white.
01:50:13.000 What?
01:50:13.000 Yeah.
01:50:14.000 How long ago?
01:50:14.000 In the 90s.
01:50:15.000 Wow.
01:50:16.000 I didn't want to call the director.
01:50:17.000 He's a big director.
01:50:18.000 Holy shit, dude.
01:50:18.000 And he called the other actress a whore.
01:50:20.000 Oh my god.
01:50:21.000 He's like, get on your mark, you pan-faced gook.
01:50:23.000 Whoa.
01:50:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:50:24.000 This is back, you know, when it wasn't woke.
01:50:26.000 Is he alive?
01:50:27.000 Yeah.
01:50:28.000 Is he doing movies still?
01:50:29.000 I want to so badly tell you who it is!
01:50:31.000 What's his name rhyme with?
01:50:33.000 No, I'm not playing this game!
01:50:34.000 I know the internet!
01:50:36.000 Will you tell me later?
01:50:36.000 Oh, yeah.
01:50:37.000 Okay.
01:50:38.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:50:38.000 Well, they're going to go through your IMDB, and they're going to find some likely candidates.
01:50:42.000 Maybe we should do that.
01:50:43.000 Yeah.
01:50:44.000 Let the internet do it.
01:50:46.000 Maybe we can play Warmer.
01:50:47.000 Warmer?
01:50:48.000 Yeah.
01:50:48.000 Warmer?
01:50:48.000 No, no, no, no.
01:50:49.000 One time this director, I worked for this director.
01:50:51.000 Is he Italian?
01:50:52.000 No, I'm not playing this game.
01:50:53.000 Fuck you.
01:50:54.000 Okay.
01:50:55.000 One time, I fucked up on a line, and he made the whole, everyone, like the cameraman, everyone, and the wardrobe form a circle.
01:51:03.000 They put me in the middle of the circle, and he goes, point your finger.
01:51:07.000 And they all pointed their finger at me, and he goes, repeat after me.
01:51:10.000 You're the worst actor on planet Earth.
01:51:13.000 And they all did that, and tears welled up in my eyes.
01:51:17.000 And I remember a wardrobe lady looked at me, and she goes, I'm so sorry.
01:51:20.000 Oh my god.
01:51:21.000 Yeah.
01:51:21.000 I mean, I've had Michael Bay do something to me.
01:51:25.000 What did Michael Bay do to you?
01:51:27.000 He grabbed my face aggressively.
01:51:29.000 Whoa.
01:51:30.000 Why?
01:51:30.000 What'd you do to him?
01:51:31.000 Did you grab his balls?
01:51:33.000 Did you wake up with you sucking on his balls?
01:51:35.000 I don't do that.
01:51:36.000 I do that for comics.
01:51:37.000 Okay, okay.
01:51:38.000 Yeah, I don't do it when I'm like on a...
01:51:39.000 No, I did this...
01:51:40.000 So I booked this commercial with Eric Stonestreet.
01:51:43.000 Right.
01:51:43.000 You know Eric?
01:51:44.000 He's on Modern Family.
01:51:45.000 Okay.
01:51:46.000 He plays the fat gay guy in it.
01:51:47.000 Sure, sure.
01:51:48.000 So we played Tower Boys with Kim Cattrall.
01:51:52.000 It was a Pepsi commercial, I think.
01:51:55.000 And she was in this bathtub.
01:51:57.000 And I'd never acted before.
01:51:58.000 You know, Joe, I'm a stand...
01:51:59.000 I come from the same place you come, which is open mics and...
01:52:05.000 Stand up.
01:52:05.000 Yeah, I didn't learn how to act.
01:52:08.000 I don't know the fuck that...
01:52:09.000 Right.
01:52:09.000 I didn't know what a jib camera is or a mark or any of that shit, right?
01:52:12.000 Right, right.
01:52:13.000 So I had this scene where I had to bring these...
01:52:14.000 Oh, fuck.
01:52:15.000 I had to bring these towels into a...
01:52:17.000 You know, it was like stacked.
01:52:19.000 That was a joke.
01:52:20.000 And he would go, your face needs to be in the light.
01:52:24.000 And I go, oh, I don't know.
01:52:26.000 So I try to tilt every take.
01:52:29.000 The light!
01:52:31.000 The light!
01:52:32.000 Right?
01:52:33.000 And then, like, by the eighth one, he came from behind the thing, and he grabbed my face like this.
01:52:37.000 He goes, here!
01:52:39.000 Here!
01:52:39.000 And, like, tears.
01:52:42.000 Well, no, don't feel bad for me.
01:52:44.000 I'm a survivor.
01:52:46.000 That's your holocaust.
01:52:49.000 That was your Auschwitz, being in a movie, and Michael Bay tells you to put your face towards the light.
01:52:53.000 Yeah, but in the 90s, I experienced that shit, right?
01:52:56.000 Well, that seems like you really weren't putting your face towards the light, and he was freaking out, because they could only do that take so many times.
01:53:02.000 I'm kind of on Team Bay on that one.
01:53:04.000 You are, really?
01:53:05.000 Yeah, he just turned your face.
01:53:06.000 Oh, you're right.
01:53:06.000 You're making it sound like you- You're right, you're right.
01:53:08.000 Mouth-fucked you.
01:53:09.000 You're right, you're right, you're right.
01:53:10.000 Beat your ass in front of everybody.
01:53:11.000 You're right, you're absolutely right.
01:53:12.000 But- But?
01:53:13.000 Also, when you- When you come from a background like me, with your dad fucking acting crazy, when people scream, you feel it.
01:53:24.000 You got triggered.
01:53:27.000 Robocop, what's his name?
01:53:28.000 The original Robocop?
01:53:30.000 Peter...
01:53:30.000 Peter Weir.
01:53:32.000 He's a screamer.
01:53:33.000 Screams.
01:53:35.000 Screamed at you?
01:53:36.000 Yeah, I was on Magnum.
01:53:37.000 He does it to everyone.
01:53:39.000 Right?
01:53:40.000 Oh yeah, back in the day we wouldn't have sides!
01:53:43.000 You can't remember one line?
01:53:44.000 He would yell shit like that, right?
01:53:46.000 And every time he would do it, I would tense up.
01:53:50.000 I'm not a pussy, dude.
01:53:51.000 I get it.
01:53:51.000 I'm a warrior, okay?
01:53:53.000 Wow.
01:53:53.000 Yeah.
01:53:55.000 And then, right, I just went to the showrunner.
01:53:58.000 I go, next time I'm on the showrunner, maybe not him.
01:54:01.000 So they just didn't, you know?
01:54:03.000 But anyway, now I do shit that's like where I feel like I'm wanted.
01:54:06.000 Right.
01:54:07.000 And I'll do it.
01:54:08.000 Right.
01:54:08.000 So it's not like that crazy bullshit where I need...
01:54:11.000 Back then I needed it.
01:54:12.000 Right.
01:54:12.000 When someone would say something horrible to you, you just had to swallow it.
01:54:15.000 You would absorb it.
01:54:16.000 But there was also no recourse back then.
01:54:18.000 I mean, that's how you get to like a Harvey Weinstein.
01:54:21.000 A guy who has ultimate control, can do whatever the fuck he wants, and does.
01:54:28.000 Ruins people's lives and careers if they don't accept his advances.
01:54:32.000 That whole business has always been about powerful people abusing the people that had to listen to them.
01:54:41.000 From casting directors, all the way up to producers.
01:54:45.000 It was different then, yeah.
01:54:47.000 Look, Tarantino was in here and he was talking about this old-school director who had, his office had a bedroom where he'd take the starlets, all the starlets had to fuck him.
01:54:57.000 Oh my god.
01:54:58.000 He had a bedroom in his fucking office.
01:55:00.000 Oh my god.
01:55:00.000 So everyone just assumed if a casting, you know, thing was going on and a girl came into his office, he fucked her.
01:55:06.000 And 20 years ago, I would have done it, I think.
01:55:08.000 You think so?
01:55:09.000 I think that if...
01:55:12.000 I think that it was a huge director, right?
01:55:16.000 You wouldn't fuck him?
01:55:17.000 No, I would suck his dick, maybe.
01:55:18.000 Really?
01:55:19.000 I think I wouldn't tell you.
01:55:21.000 Well, there's definitely...
01:55:22.000 I would just cry.
01:55:23.000 You could have filled with some offers if that was out there.
01:55:26.000 What?
01:55:26.000 You could have gotten some offers if that was out there.
01:55:29.000 Maybe you weren't open enough with your desire to make it.
01:55:33.000 I just think that back then, I was so like...
01:55:36.000 I had no money.
01:55:38.000 Right.
01:55:38.000 And in my mind, I'd be like...
01:55:39.000 Oh, this is the way it's supposed to happen.
01:55:42.000 Right.
01:55:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:55:43.000 I mean, imagine if you're an actress, right, and you come out to Hollywood from fucking Kansas, you're 20 years old, and you are all of a sudden in this producer's office, and he's 50, and he's been banging stars for 20 fucking years,
01:55:58.000 and you don't know how it all works, and he explains to you, listen, honey, this is how it works in this business.
01:56:04.000 You're like, well, I mean, okay.
01:56:06.000 Do you want to be an actress?
01:56:07.000 And you're kind of mentally ill anyway.
01:56:09.000 Oh, right.
01:56:09.000 And you're like, yeah, I do so much.
01:56:11.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:56:12.000 It's like, no one has to know about this.
01:56:13.000 Oh, okay, you won't tell anybody.
01:56:14.000 It's terrible.
01:56:15.000 It's fucking terrible.
01:56:15.000 Yeah.
01:56:16.000 And that's probably what they did forever.
01:56:18.000 It's so fucking terrible.
01:56:20.000 Yeah.
01:56:20.000 And I know we have problems with the word woke, but I think in many ways, Hollywood wokeness is also good.
01:56:30.000 Yeah, that way.
01:56:31.000 In a stopping the abuse way.
01:56:33.000 But the problem is, there's like, in Hollywood in particular, there was an overcorrection and crazy people like Amber Heard got involved.
01:56:39.000 Right.
01:56:40.000 Manipulating the truth to sort of gain sympathy.
01:56:43.000 You've got a lot of those cases too.
01:56:46.000 The Chris Hardwick case.
01:56:47.000 There's a lot of those where the reality is so different than the truth.
01:56:51.000 Right.
01:56:51.000 And everybody just assumes that the woman's not insane and that she's telling the truth.
01:56:56.000 See you but you're gonna have to have a few of those if you're gonna have to have real change like a real Correction of actual abuse you're going to it's just like if you're gonna like accept trans people You're going to have a bunch of instances of perverts pretending to be trans if you're going to say hey We have to stop abuse you're gonna get fake abuse you're gonna get people to come out I know man,
01:57:18.000 and that's the way Hollywood is like human bad.
01:57:22.000 It's the way humans are and But in the sense of a show like Beef getting greenlit, which is mostly all Korean or Asian cast, I think in that way it's good, right?
01:57:32.000 But there is an overcorrection in terms of like...
01:57:34.000 It's good because that show's good, right?
01:57:37.000 That's why it's good.
01:57:38.000 Yeah, you're right.
01:57:39.000 It's good when the show's good.
01:57:40.000 Even if the show was good back then, 20 years ago, they would never...
01:57:43.000 That's true.
01:57:43.000 Yeah, they would never wrote it.
01:57:44.000 That's better about acceptance.
01:57:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:57:46.000 But it's still...
01:57:47.000 I think art has to be—particularly stand-up is the best example I can speak about that—has to be a meritocracy.
01:57:54.000 It has to be what is actually funny.
01:57:56.000 At the Mothership, we have a fucking very clear mandate.
01:58:00.000 No one gives a fuck if you are gay, if you are straight, if you are trans, if you are black, if you are Asian, if you're white.
01:58:06.000 They don't give a fuck.
01:58:08.000 We're good to go.
01:58:25.000 You know, and you could pander and you can get away.
01:58:28.000 You can kind of like be half-assed and be treated like you're better than you are.
01:58:31.000 You see that all the time when they make those lists of the best stand-up specials of the year and some of them are like, what the fuck are you saying?
01:58:40.000 You're so crazy if you think this is good.
01:58:43.000 And they're only saying it because it's the right demographic.
01:58:47.000 Yeah.
01:58:47.000 And you can say that if they're talking about the right points.
01:58:50.000 Even if the stand-up is clunky and awful and Unoriginal and just garbage.
01:58:55.000 They'll tell you it's amazing.
01:58:57.000 And I don't want to kiss your ass.
01:58:59.000 May I for a second though?
01:59:01.000 Just accept it.
01:59:03.000 Okay.
01:59:03.000 Alright.
01:59:04.000 I feel like...
01:59:05.000 Here we go.
01:59:10.000 I love it.
01:59:11.000 I love it.
01:59:11.000 I love it.
01:59:12.000 Just hear me out, okay?
01:59:13.000 Okay, I'm gonna hear you out.
01:59:14.000 I just feel like, you know, in a way...
01:59:18.000 You carved the way, for me specifically, because before I did Tiger Belly and Bad Friends, I mean, Joe, I'll be honest with you.
01:59:28.000 I mean, I would do half rooms.
01:59:30.000 You know what I mean?
01:59:31.000 Even though the eight years of Mad TV and all the things I had done, right?
01:59:35.000 And I couldn't get an audience.
01:59:38.000 And now, I mean, it's just like, it's night and day.
01:59:41.000 I mean, the path that you laid down.
01:59:45.000 And even back then, when we used to do it at the Ice House, and it used to pop in back in the day, right?
01:59:51.000 It's sort of like, I think it just kind of like subconsciously absorbed it, and it became a path for me, and it changed my life.
01:59:59.000 That's beautiful to hear.
02:00:00.000 What?
02:00:00.000 That's beautiful to hear.
02:00:01.000 And when I go on the road now, it's like I get people that are like really...
02:00:05.000 They're fans.
02:00:05.000 They know me, they love me, and I love them as well, you know?
02:00:09.000 And it's a different fucking deal, dude.
02:00:11.000 You are a creature of the internet.
02:00:13.000 I am!
02:00:13.000 Yeah, and you should be.
02:00:14.000 And the internet changed the game.
02:00:16.000 The internet also made it, instead of a famine thing, people had an abundance mentality.
02:00:22.000 Because when we first started in the 90s, there was only a few shows you could get on.
02:00:26.000 You got on MADtv.
02:00:28.000 I got on news radio.
02:00:29.000 There's only a few shows.
02:00:30.000 And you were really lucky if you were on a show.
02:00:32.000 I remember we would talk about it all the time.
02:00:34.000 Oh my God, I'm so lucky.
02:00:35.000 Miracle.
02:00:36.000 Crazy.
02:00:37.000 We're on TV. Oh my God, we're so lucky.
02:00:39.000 But...
02:00:40.000 There was other people that didn't get your spot, and they hated it, and they were mad at you.
02:00:45.000 Like, if you cast for Mad TV and other comics at the club, you know, I know you experienced that.
02:00:51.000 Oh, yeah.
02:00:51.000 And they were fucking jealous and bitter, and they would talk shit about you.
02:00:55.000 He fucking sucks on that show.
02:00:56.000 He doesn't do anything.
02:00:57.000 And they're just angry that it didn't happen to them.
02:00:59.000 Because it could have happened to them.
02:01:00.000 Yeah.
02:01:01.000 Now, instead of that, now we're valuable to each other.
02:01:05.000 Because now we're a community of podcasters and comedians.
02:01:09.000 And instead of us being like in competition with each other, we all feed off of each other and we all support each other.
02:01:16.000 It's a much better environment for stand-up.
02:01:18.000 It's a much better environment for comedy clubs.
02:01:22.000 It's like everything's better now.
02:01:23.000 It's also the connection with East Coast, too.
02:01:26.000 It's like before, I felt like there was a rivalry almost, right?
02:01:29.000 And now it's like, when I go to New York, and as soon as I land, I don't even call.
02:01:35.000 The seller will call me and go, what spots do you want?
02:01:39.000 And then all the comments will come by the pod.
02:01:42.000 It's like a family.
02:01:43.000 It's fun.
02:01:44.000 It's fucking amazing.
02:01:44.000 Yeah, that happened during the podcast revolution.
02:01:47.000 That's what changed everything.
02:01:48.000 You think it's going down now?
02:01:50.000 Going down?
02:01:50.000 The podcast revolution.
02:01:52.000 It's happening.
02:01:53.000 Are we in downswing or upswing?
02:01:55.000 No, it's not a downswing at all.
02:01:57.000 If you pay attention to the numbers, more people are listening now than ever.
02:02:00.000 All the podcasts.
02:02:01.000 It's awesome.
02:02:02.000 And it's awesome because you get to see people for who they really are.
02:02:07.000 No bullshit, no filter, no nonsense.
02:02:09.000 You can't nonsense people for three hours.
02:02:12.000 At a certain point in time, your fucking demons will show their ugly face.
02:02:18.000 It's really who you are.
02:02:19.000 It also shapes who you are because you get to experience feedback and examine how you think about things and why you say the things you say.
02:02:27.000 In the early days, how much of what we used to say was just for shock value.
02:02:32.000 You would go on a morning radio show.
02:02:34.000 I did.
02:02:34.000 Yeah, I know.
02:02:35.000 We would try to say as shocking things as we could because that was the way to get attention.
02:02:39.000 Especially like Opie and Anthony.
02:02:40.000 I know.
02:02:41.000 I know.
02:02:42.000 I know.
02:02:42.000 We don't have to talk about it.
02:02:44.000 No, I could vaguely go around it.
02:02:46.000 I'm just like, at the time...
02:02:48.000 We all did it.
02:02:49.000 Yeah, I was a survivor.
02:02:50.000 Yeah.
02:02:51.000 And I'm like, oh, this is the culture.
02:02:53.000 Yeah, this is the culture.
02:02:54.000 And also, I'm like an LA comic.
02:02:56.000 I'm an Opie and Anthony with beasts.
02:02:57.000 Mm-hmm.
02:02:58.000 Patrice, Norton, all those guys were fucking beasts.
02:03:02.000 And it's like, you know, and then, you know, at the time, you know, and then later and then now, you know, but it's like...
02:03:09.000 But now it's a much more honest thing.
02:03:11.000 Yeah.
02:03:11.000 Because now you do your own thing, right?
02:03:14.000 And if people want to see Bobby, they know how to find Bobby.
02:03:17.000 And they seek you out.
02:03:18.000 So it's not like some random person's tuning in, like, who's this guy?
02:03:22.000 And then you have to say something crazy to get attention.
02:03:24.000 Yeah.
02:03:25.000 Now it's just you could be yourself.
02:03:26.000 Yeah.
02:03:27.000 That's the difference.
02:03:28.000 If you got a million views on Tiger Belly, that's a million people that really want to watch your show.
02:03:33.000 That's not random.
02:03:35.000 If you got a million people that are on some Comedy Central show, a million people watching that, they're flipping channels.
02:03:41.000 How many of them are looking forward to it?
02:03:43.000 How many of them just stumbled upon it?
02:03:45.000 It's probably quite a bit.
02:03:47.000 Most shows don't have loyal, dedicated viewers.
02:03:51.000 Unless they're streaming shows.
02:03:53.000 If you're watching Stranger Things, that's what you want to watch.
02:03:55.000 But there's a lot of things that are just not that popular, and the numbers are still not as good.
02:04:03.000 The podcast thing is a wild thing.
02:04:05.000 I drive down the street in LA, and I see a show.
02:04:07.000 I'm like, who the fucker?
02:04:09.000 Who's on that?
02:04:10.000 No one's gonna watch that!
02:04:11.000 I mean, maybe.
02:04:12.000 Maybe it's good.
02:04:13.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:04:14.000 I mean, I like that they're still doing them.
02:04:15.000 I don't want them to go away.
02:04:17.000 They tried to kill that, man.
02:04:18.000 This fucking Last Strike.
02:04:20.000 Dude, I had so many friends that stopped doing stand-up and had just been writing that went into a panic because they had mortgages and they just started...
02:04:27.000 Camille started doing stand-up again, right?
02:04:29.000 Wow.
02:04:30.000 It was hard.
02:04:30.000 He hadn't done stand-up in seven years.
02:04:32.000 Wow.
02:04:33.000 And I know Owen Smith was getting back on the road again.
02:04:36.000 We had him at the mothership.
02:04:37.000 But he's a guy that I was always saying, like, that guy, that's a velvet prison for that guy.
02:04:41.000 He's too good.
02:04:42.000 Yeah.
02:04:42.000 He's too good at stand-up to not be huge.
02:04:46.000 Yeah.
02:04:46.000 I love him.
02:04:47.000 He's one of the best comics in the country.
02:04:48.000 Yeah.
02:04:48.000 He's like top 20 in the country without a doubt.
02:04:50.000 No question at all.
02:04:52.000 Owen Smith.
02:04:52.000 Yeah.
02:04:53.000 If I'm making a list of top 20 in the country, Owen Smith's on that list.
02:04:57.000 He shouldn't wear sweatpants on stage, though.
02:04:59.000 Who gives a fuck?
02:05:00.000 Let him wear sweatpants.
02:05:00.000 He's got a big ass dick.
02:05:01.000 He's a big dick.
02:05:02.000 Yeah, you're right.
02:05:03.000 He's funny, man.
02:05:04.000 He's so funny, that guy.
02:05:05.000 He's so good.
02:05:05.000 Big dick, too.
02:05:05.000 That's a good thing.
02:05:06.000 He was in town just a couple weeks ago.
02:05:08.000 We all sat in the balcony and watched his set.
02:05:10.000 He did my show, and then he did my show on Thursday, and then he did the weekend he headlined.
02:05:16.000 They said it was awesome.
02:05:17.000 I just always wanted to tell your fans, I have a pretty medium-sized dick.
02:05:20.000 It's regular.
02:05:21.000 Thank you.
02:05:22.000 I've seen it in a gang of times.
02:05:23.000 I know!
02:05:24.000 Online, they're like, it's like a minion.
02:05:26.000 No, no, no.
02:05:27.000 It's normal.
02:05:28.000 It's a regular.
02:05:28.000 It works.
02:05:29.000 It's great.
02:05:29.000 Squirts.
02:05:30.000 The whole thing.
02:05:30.000 There's nothing wrong with it.
02:05:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:05:31.000 Thank you so much.
02:05:32.000 Every other day, it squirts.
02:05:33.000 Yeah, everything is.
02:05:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:05:35.000 It works.
02:05:35.000 It's great.
02:05:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:05:36.000 It's fine.
02:05:36.000 I got that out there, you know what I mean?
02:05:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:05:38.000 People are rude.
02:05:40.000 Judging you by something you can't control.
02:05:42.000 Yeah, but it's been a real blessing, man.
02:05:44.000 It really has.
02:05:45.000 The podcast thing is a blessing for all of us, obviously.
02:05:48.000 Yeah.
02:05:49.000 And it changed stand-up.
02:05:50.000 It really did.
02:05:51.000 It created way more theater acts.
02:05:53.000 There's so many more theater acts and arena acts.
02:05:55.000 Guys like Schultz and all these guys, and they're just releasing their stuff on the internet, doing podcasts, becoming popular through podcasts.
02:06:02.000 Yeah.
02:06:02.000 It's an amazing way to live.
02:06:04.000 I was in Hawaii, Sigur was in town, I was just there vacationing, and Sigur goes, I'm doing a show, do it.
02:06:10.000 So they didn't announce me.
02:06:11.000 Oh, that's great.
02:06:12.000 It was like 6,000 seats or whatever, right?
02:06:15.000 It's not a bragging thing, but when they said my name, and I walked up there, I had never felt that before in my life.
02:06:22.000 It was a pure love.
02:06:23.000 How many days are you in town for?
02:06:25.000 I leave tomorrow morning.
02:06:26.000 Shit.
02:06:26.000 I know.
02:06:27.000 Change your flight.
02:06:28.000 Do my show tomorrow night at 7. Really?
02:06:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:06:31.000 Okay.
02:06:32.000 Beautiful.
02:06:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:06:33.000 I'll change.
02:06:34.000 Bert's going to do it, too.
02:06:36.000 Oh, he is?
02:06:36.000 Yeah.
02:06:37.000 He's in town?
02:06:37.000 Crash is in town.
02:06:38.000 Oh, I'll do it.
02:06:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:06:39.000 It'll be fun.
02:06:39.000 It'll be fun.
02:06:40.000 Oh, my God.
02:06:40.000 They're going to go bananas.
02:06:41.000 Okay, good.
02:06:41.000 That'll be great.
02:06:42.000 The beautiful thing about those shows, Shane will be on the show, too.
02:06:45.000 Oh.
02:06:45.000 It's going to be awesome.
02:06:46.000 Okay.
02:06:48.000 I'll have you go before.
02:06:49.000 Hard hitters, man.
02:06:50.000 Yeah.
02:06:51.000 Dude, here's the thing, dude.
02:06:52.000 Yeah.
02:06:53.000 And this is what's great about it.
02:06:54.000 I'm not afraid.
02:06:55.000 No, you shouldn't be afraid.
02:06:56.000 I'll follow you.
02:06:57.000 It would be hard.
02:06:58.000 Very difficult.
02:06:59.000 You don't have to do that.
02:07:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:07:00.000 But I would try.
02:07:01.000 I wouldn't be afraid of doing it.
02:07:03.000 Listen, the show's going to be amazing.
02:07:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:07:04.000 It's going to be amazing.
02:07:05.000 Hinchcliffe's on the show.
02:07:06.000 It's going to be amazing.
02:07:07.000 Brian Simpson's here.
02:07:08.000 I love him.
02:07:09.000 Oh, he's the best.
02:07:09.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:07:10.000 He's so good, dude.
02:07:11.000 It was good to see also old friends last night.
02:07:13.000 It was great.
02:07:14.000 Yeah.
02:07:14.000 Like, I miss them.
02:07:15.000 Yeah, man.
02:07:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:07:16.000 We took all the good people.
02:07:17.000 You fucked us.
02:07:19.000 I didn't.
02:07:20.000 I made life better for these folks.
02:07:22.000 It's a better place to be, man.
02:07:23.000 It really is.
02:07:24.000 It's a better place to live.
02:07:25.000 There's less traffic.
02:07:26.000 And so many people last night after the show were like, move here.
02:07:29.000 When are you moving here?
02:07:30.000 And I'm like, I'm going to talk to Andrew about it.
02:07:32.000 You should.
02:07:33.000 But we have to move together.
02:07:34.000 Yeah, but look.
02:07:35.000 Or we could have a house that we come every once in a while.
02:07:37.000 You should.
02:07:38.000 You should.
02:07:38.000 Look, Santino would love it here.
02:07:40.000 I know he would.
02:07:41.000 He would love it here.
02:07:41.000 He likes doing TV shows too, though, that fucking idiot.
02:07:46.000 I know, but it's a different craft.
02:07:49.000 I'll tell you something.
02:07:50.000 He always wanted to be an actor.
02:07:51.000 No, but guys like Schultz and these young guys, right?
02:07:53.000 It's not a part of their dream.
02:07:55.000 Right.
02:07:55.000 But when I came to LA, I was like, I want to do movies.
02:07:58.000 I love movies.
02:07:59.000 I get it.
02:07:59.000 I love watching it.
02:08:00.000 But here's the thing, Bobby.
02:08:01.000 You can always still do movies.
02:08:02.000 I still get offers for movies.
02:08:04.000 You can still do them.
02:08:05.000 Yeah.
02:08:05.000 No, I am doing them, yeah.
02:08:06.000 100% could go back and do them.
02:08:08.000 Yeah.
02:08:08.000 You're a free man.
02:08:09.000 I know.
02:08:10.000 And you've got some cash.
02:08:11.000 I know, but comics make fun of me about it.
02:08:14.000 You should see Hinchcliffe's apartment.
02:08:16.000 Oh, my God.
02:08:17.000 Hinchcliffe has this fucking insane apartment.
02:08:19.000 I know.
02:08:20.000 With his giant balcony, which you can get here in Austin, would cost you $20 million in New York.
02:08:26.000 Wow.
02:08:27.000 Oh my god, it's incredible.
02:08:28.000 The life there is amazing.
02:08:30.000 The life in downtown Austin, there's so many great restaurants.
02:08:35.000 I know.
02:08:36.000 People are cool as fuck.
02:08:36.000 Tonight we're to the pasta bar.
02:08:38.000 It's gonna be great.
02:08:38.000 Oh, that place is great.
02:08:39.000 Great, yeah.
02:08:39.000 Dude, it's incredible here.
02:08:40.000 I know it is, dude.
02:08:41.000 And there's so much live music here.
02:08:43.000 I mean, Gary Clark Jr. has a club.
02:08:46.000 He has Antones.
02:08:47.000 He's one of the owners there.
02:08:48.000 He's there all the time.
02:08:49.000 Last night after the show, this tall blonde that would never talk to me in LA came up to me and gave me a side hug.
02:08:55.000 Ooh, side hug.
02:08:56.000 And we connected eyeballs.
02:08:58.000 Yeah.
02:08:58.000 And if I lived here, I think I could.
02:09:00.000 Yeah.
02:09:00.000 Right?
02:09:01.000 And I'm like, that also is an incentive.
02:09:03.000 Yeah.
02:09:03.000 You know what I mean?
02:09:04.000 Because I'm single.
02:09:04.000 Texas girls.
02:09:05.000 I love Texas girls.
02:09:06.000 They're so nice.
02:09:07.000 I know.
02:09:07.000 They're so womanly.
02:09:08.000 I love Win Win Lee, Win Win Lee.
02:09:10.000 Yeah, that's what I like.
02:09:10.000 Yeah, I love it too.
02:09:12.000 Anyway, really good to be here.
02:09:13.000 Great to have you.
02:09:14.000 You can bail if you want.
02:09:15.000 You're going to keep going?
02:09:17.000 Yeah.
02:09:18.000 Keep going.
02:09:18.000 Why?
02:09:19.000 We can stop.
02:09:22.000 It doesn't matter.
02:09:23.000 It doesn't?
02:09:24.000 No, we're talking.
02:09:25.000 Two and a half hours.
02:09:26.000 That's good enough.
02:09:27.000 That's huge.
02:09:28.000 That's plenty.
02:09:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:09:29.000 But if I leave, you're going to keep going?
02:09:31.000 No, no.
02:09:32.000 All right.
02:09:32.000 Let's just stop now.
02:09:33.000 So the next time I have all the things I want to talk about.
02:09:36.000 Perfect.
02:09:36.000 All right.
02:09:37.000 Perfect, Bobby.
02:09:37.000 Thanks for having me on.
02:09:38.000 Beautiful podcast.
02:09:39.000 So great.
02:09:39.000 It was beautiful.
02:09:40.000 Thank you so much for having me.
02:09:40.000 My pleasure, brother.
02:09:41.000 Watch Drunk Store June.
02:09:43.000 So now that we cracked our ice and we did this, we'll do them more often, right?
02:09:46.000 Yeah, 100%.
02:09:47.000 100%.
02:09:48.000 And please, consider moving here, man.
02:09:50.000 It's a thing.
02:09:51.000 Like I said, Theo's considerate, Pauly's considerate.
02:09:55.000 Pauly Shore is a different human being now.
02:09:57.000 I know.
02:09:57.000 Pauly Shore is so loose and so friendly and so silly on stage.
02:10:00.000 Oh, I love him.
02:10:01.000 And he's killing.
02:10:02.000 Killing.
02:10:02.000 I love him.
02:10:03.000 He went up in the little boy, the little room, and I hadn't seen him in years.
02:10:07.000 And I go, dude, that was so funny.
02:10:08.000 You were so loose.
02:10:09.000 Yeah.
02:10:10.000 And he was like, at the comedy store, I was always tense.
02:10:12.000 Yeah.
02:10:13.000 It's like, it's hard for me to be free.
02:10:14.000 He's a different person.
02:10:16.000 Also, I wouldn't be in this business without him.
02:10:19.000 And that family.
02:10:20.000 Oh, her.
02:10:21.000 I mean, that's why she's here.
02:10:22.000 She said two things to me as a young comic.
02:10:25.000 Okay.
02:10:26.000 It's a sin to support mediocrity.
02:10:29.000 Right?
02:10:30.000 I still don't know what it means, but I still have it in my heart.
02:10:32.000 Yeah.
02:10:34.000 One day I was at Bully's restaurant in La Jolla with her.
02:10:39.000 When Freddy Soda used to drive her down, he would go, come eat with us.
02:10:43.000 I miss Freddy so much.
02:10:44.000 I do too.
02:10:45.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:10:46.000 And so one day we were sitting there at Bully's restaurant in La Jolla and she goes, do you know what makes a star?
02:10:52.000 I go, what?
02:10:52.000 She goes, 50% of the people have to love you, but it's okay that the other half hates you.
02:10:57.000 It's all in the same.
02:10:59.000 Right?
02:11:00.000 And it's like, when I read bad comments now, you know, because I get some because I've risen, right?
02:11:06.000 I just take that into the thing that it's like, it's a tension, right?
02:11:10.000 It's not personal.
02:11:11.000 You know what I would tell you to do?
02:11:13.000 What?
02:11:13.000 Don't read them.
02:11:14.000 Yeah, I haven't.
02:11:15.000 Don't read anything.
02:11:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:11:16.000 So you don't read?
02:11:17.000 No, no, no.
02:11:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:11:18.000 I don't read articles about me.
02:11:20.000 I don't read shit.
02:11:20.000 But if you read it, would it hurt your feelings?
02:11:22.000 It could.
02:11:23.000 Yeah, it could.
02:11:24.000 Okay.
02:11:24.000 It could bother you.
02:11:25.000 All right.
02:11:25.000 You're a human being.
02:11:26.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:11:27.000 Someone says something, especially if it's not true, and it's influencing people in a fucked up way, or it paints the least charitable version of you.
02:11:34.000 People also don't realize that I'm a sensitive guy.
02:11:36.000 We're all sensitive.
02:11:37.000 They're sensitive, too.
02:11:38.000 That's why they're lashing out.
02:11:39.000 The reason why they're writing mean shit is because they know what hurts them.
02:11:44.000 A kind person, a happy person, wouldn't be writing shitty things about you.
02:11:49.000 They're doing it because they're...
02:11:50.000 It's that old expression, hurt people hurt people.
02:11:53.000 But when they make shit up...
02:11:54.000 Dude, the other day I read...
02:11:55.000 I'm sorry.
02:11:56.000 I read this.
02:11:56.000 This is what I read.
02:11:57.000 I heard Bobby Lee abuses his animals.
02:12:02.000 Because they want to hurt your feelings.
02:12:04.000 They want you to get angry.
02:12:05.000 I get my cats Nobu.
02:12:06.000 I believe you.
02:12:08.000 Shashimi, dude.
02:12:09.000 Yeah.
02:12:10.000 I get them the best.
02:12:11.000 I go, what's the most expensive shit?
02:12:12.000 The healthiest shit.
02:12:13.000 But should they have all those oils and stuff on?
02:12:15.000 It's not every day.
02:12:16.000 Every other month.
02:12:20.000 Isn't it weird that cats hate water, but they love fish?
02:12:24.000 It's kind of crazy, right?
02:12:25.000 It's crazy, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:12:25.000 It's weird.
02:12:26.000 They love fish.
02:12:26.000 They love fish.
02:12:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:12:27.000 They don't want to go nowhere near that fucking water.
02:12:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:12:30.000 Yeah.
02:12:31.000 Anyway, I don't abuse my animals.
02:12:33.000 I love animals more.
02:12:34.000 Of course you don't.
02:12:34.000 Yeah, I know.
02:12:34.000 But it's like insane.
02:12:35.000 Of course you don't.
02:12:36.000 Of course you don't.
02:12:37.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:12:37.000 So I don't read it.
02:12:38.000 Yeah, just don't read it because even if you read a hundred things that are awesome, one that sucks is going to stick in your head because that's how a human mind is designed.
02:12:48.000 It's designed to find danger in conflict and look out for it because it could hurt you.
02:12:54.000 And so when you see that one thing, that's the thing you're gonna concentrate on.
02:12:57.000 It's the one person that hates you.
02:12:58.000 Why do they hate me?
02:12:59.000 Oh my god, what if they're near me?
02:13:00.000 That feeling of hate is the same feeling that you would get if there's someone that's dangerous.
02:13:05.000 It's from another tribe that's looking at you over the hill and you think they might want to kill you.
02:13:09.000 Like, ah, fuck!
02:13:10.000 And you have to think about them.
02:13:12.000 You don't think about your friends that love you.
02:13:13.000 You think about the danger.
02:13:15.000 And that's natural.
02:13:16.000 It's a natural inclination of the human mind.
02:13:19.000 Right.
02:13:19.000 So you do that with social media, too.
02:13:21.000 You don't seek out the danger then?
02:13:22.000 No, don't do it and don't spread it either.
02:13:24.000 The people that spread it, you don't realize what you're doing, but you're also affecting yourself.
02:13:30.000 Because you know that what you're doing, unless it's like the person you're going after, some legitimate Nazi or something.
02:13:35.000 I mean like most of the time when people are attacking, they're attacking someone to try to hurt them because they know that they can be hurt too.
02:13:43.000 A lot of the people that are doing this shit on social media all day long, we know them.
02:13:48.000 They're mentally ill people.
02:13:50.000 I don't need to name any names, but I can't.
02:13:53.000 But there's some of our severely mentally ill people that are just liars, they're insane, they're full of shit, they're on medication and in therapy, and they're just lashing out at other people's behavior.
02:14:07.000 And it's like they don't realize that To be a good person also means to be nice to everybody.
02:14:14.000 Just because someone has a differing view on something, you can't demonize them and turn them into a non-human.
02:14:20.000 But people do that because they're terrified of that happening to them.
02:14:23.000 Yeah.
02:14:24.000 And I also don't...
02:14:25.000 When people try to do things like that, I'm not mad at them either.
02:14:28.000 I don't have thoughts of revenge.
02:14:31.000 You know what I mean?
02:14:32.000 I just feel bummed that they feel that way or whatever.
02:14:35.000 You know what I mean?
02:14:36.000 But I have no...
02:14:37.000 I have love for people.
02:14:39.000 I know you do.
02:14:40.000 Yeah, I do.
02:14:41.000 I have love for you, Bobby.
02:14:42.000 Anyway, thank you.
02:14:43.000 Bye, everybody.
02:14:43.000 Bye.
02:14:44.000 Bye.
02:14:44.000 Thank you.