The Joe Rogan Experience - February 15, 2024


Joe Rogan Experience #2103 - Sam Morril

Topics
female fighters elite golf athleticism golf tournament Richard Jenny comedy specials cyber attack and Sony emails Columbus human trafficking reports diners late night pizza Tony Soprano Caddyshack movies Central Bank Digital Currency linking up OnlyFans robot women comedy acceptance Undercutters Pizza Sisu movie John Wick unnecessary conflict road comedy Bobby Saget development deals deepfakes on Instagram Bitcoin giveaway catfishing traveling shows Adderall and creative writing struggles
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Sam Morril
Mentioned
Greg Geraldo Jr. Fatty Arbuckle Bobby Lee William Randolph Hearst Charlie Chaplin Jamie Jon Stewart Michael Jordan Rodney Dangerfield Tom Cruise Tiger Woods Chris Rock Dude Richard Jenny Joe Rogan Podcast Roscoe Arbuckle Phil Hartman Colin Quinn Woody Allen Steve Jobs and 130 more
Joe Rogan Experience #2102 - Will Storr Joe Rogan Experience #2104 - Chris Williamson

Episode Stats


Length

3 hours and 30 minutes

Words per minute

200.67

Word count

42,284

Sentence count

5,390

Harmful content

Misogyny

105

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,526

sentences flagged

Hate speech

75

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience podcast, I sit down with my good friend and fellow podcaster, John Rocha, to talk about a wide range of topics. We talk about how we met, what it's like being a female in the world of sports, and what it means to be a fan of women in the sports world. We also talk about the importance of being nice to each other and how we should all be a little more nice to one another. I hope you enjoy, sit down, and have a nice rest of your day! -Joe Rogan Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what's going on in our world of podcasting, comedy, and all things pop culture. -J.R. Subscribe and Share on Apple Podcasts, too! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on iTunes and we'll give you 5 stars on your favorite streaming platform so we can keep giving you the best listening experience possible! Thank you! Cheers, Jon and John! -Jon and John and the rest of the crew at The Joe Rogans Experience Podcast. Check us out! Subscribe to the podcast and tell us what you think about what you thought of it! We'll be looking out for you in the comments and what you're looking forward to in the next episode! Timestamps: 5 stars is a review! 6 stars is much appreciated! 7 stars! 8 stars is more than enough! 9 stars? 10 stars is enough? 11 stars is too much? 12? 13? 15 stars is not enough?? 15? 16? 17? 18? 19? 21? 20? 22? 24? 25? 26? 27? 23? Can you give me a review? 30? ? 26?? 27?? 26?! 27?! 26 28? 28 29? 29 32? 31? 32 33? 36? 35 36 35? 33 34 38 39 40 31 30 45 44 41 37 42 43

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:13.000 I don't really like weed.
00:00:14.000 Do you like cigars?
00:00:15.000 I like alcohol and I like coffee.
00:00:18.000 I'm my big cigar guy.
00:00:20.000 Do you want alcohol?
00:00:21.000 Maybe in like second half of the show.
00:00:23.000 Second half of the show.
00:00:24.000 I like to feel the caffeine.
00:00:26.000 Let's prepare glasses with ice for the second half of the show.
00:00:30.000 Once things start getting a little sideways.
00:00:32.000 Yeah.
00:00:33.000 So what's happening, brother?
00:00:34.000 How you doing?
00:00:35.000 Great, great.
00:00:36.000 I've been on the road just going pretty hard with this hour, and I love it.
00:00:40.000 I still romanticize the road.
00:00:42.000 I still love it.
00:00:43.000 And I did theaters last year for the first time ever, just the theater run, so now I'm back in clubs to just tighten it, but I love it, man.
00:00:51.000 Yeah, clubs are the best.
00:00:54.000 It's the best experience.
00:00:55.000 The arenas are pretty nice.
00:00:56.000 They're fun.
00:00:57.000 In the round, they're really fun.
00:00:59.000 They look fun.
00:00:59.000 Theaters are fun, but it's slightly removed from a club.
00:01:03.000 A club is better than a theater.
00:01:06.000 Yeah, it's pretty cool.
00:01:07.000 I mean, theaters... 0.98
00:01:09.000 I forgot how intimate clubs were just doing theaters last year and being like, oh shit, I can see when a dude's frowning. 0.98
00:01:16.000 You know, I can see one person having a bad time now. 0.99
00:01:19.000 So I forgot about that, but there was a guy in Dallas over the weekend who just kept doing this to me, and I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99
00:01:25.000 And I was like, oh, your girlfriend's a fan. 0.99
00:01:28.000 He doesn't like me.
00:01:29.000 He was just a drunk.
00:01:30.000 Oh, wow.
00:01:31.000 And I peeled out of him and he was drunk on rum, too.
00:01:33.000 To me, it's funny.
00:01:35.000 That's a Jimmy Buffett drunk.
00:01:36.000 You don't see a lot of white dudes with goatees who are rum drunk.
00:01:39.000 So I was like, oh, all right. 0.67
00:01:41.000 He's eccentric.
00:01:42.000 Yeah, he was a bad drunk. 0.67
00:01:44.000 But she was cool as hell.
00:01:45.000 Well, sometimes guys have a real hard time with their girlfriend being a fan of a guy.
00:01:51.000 I feel like most of the people that like me are dudes, but...
00:01:54.000 Yeah, me too.
00:01:54.000 When I see women out there, I'm like, great.
00:01:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:01:57.000 When I see a tabletop of four, I'm like, fuck yes. 1.00
00:02:00.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:02:00.000 Whenever a lady asks me, are you Joe Rogan? 0.99
00:02:04.000 I'm like, yeah.
00:02:04.000 They're like, I'm a fan of your podcast.
00:02:06.000 I'm always like, that's crazy.
00:02:09.000 Thank you.
00:02:09.000 I mean, I'm sure you have a lot of female...
00:02:10.000 It's a big pod.
00:02:11.000 It's the number two female podcast.
00:02:14.000 What's number one?
00:02:15.000 True Crime.
00:02:16.000 That makes sense.
00:02:17.000 Like, one of them true crime shows.
00:02:18.000 Women love true crime. 1.00
00:02:20.000 Yeah.
00:02:20.000 So, women do listen to it.
00:02:22.000 Yeah.
00:02:22.000 But, you know, I'm a guy, and I'm probably annoying.
00:02:27.000 I get it.
00:02:28.000 I'll be annoying.
00:02:28.000 I get it.
00:02:29.000 Like, if you're a woman and you don't... 0.99
00:02:30.000 I mean, this is a bro-heavy show.
00:02:32.000 You know, like, when we do Protect Our Parks, or when we do Fight Companion, or...
00:02:36.000 The fights are definitely for bros.
00:02:38.000 Yeah, and then when I have fighters on, unless it's female fighters, I've had a bunch of female fighters on too. 1.00
00:02:43.000 You know, female fighters are probably my best example that I point to when people think that something horrible about fighting, that it's like brutality and it's wrong and it's barbaric. 1.00
00:02:55.000 I'll point them to some female fighters. 1.00
00:02:57.000 I'm like, just listen to this woman talk. 1.00
00:02:58.000 Like, listen to Rose Namajuna's talk about fighting. 0.98
00:03:01.000 And, like, listen to her post-fight speeches when she's telling everybody that we just have to be nicer to each other.
00:03:07.000 It is pretty cool to be almost like Buddhist and a fighter.
00:03:12.000 She's an amazing, amazing human.
00:03:14.000 Very unusual human being.
00:03:16.000 You know, elite, world-class fighter, world champion multiple times.
00:03:21.000 And one of the sweetest, nicest people alive.
00:03:24.000 She's so nice to her opponents after fights.
00:03:27.000 I don't know a lot about fighting.
00:03:29.000 A lot of it I've learned from hearing you talk and stuff.
00:03:31.000 I remember watching a fight with Luis Gomez and Dave Smith once, and they knew so much about it.
00:03:36.000 That's how you get me into it, backstory and stuff.
00:03:39.000 I'm an insane NBA fan.
00:03:41.000 I love sports.
00:03:43.000 Yeah, I mean...
00:03:45.000 The camaraderie in that stuff, to me, is what interests me also. 0.96
00:03:49.000 Growing up as a 90s basketball fan, these guys fucking hated each other. 0.96
00:03:54.000 Wanted to fight. 0.99
00:03:56.000 Oakley, Rodman, they were down to fight you. 1.00
00:03:58.000 And mind games and shit. 0.99
00:04:00.000 And now they all play AAU ball together, so they're all buddies. 0.99
00:04:03.000 So part of it's kind of lost a little.
00:04:05.000 It's weird.
00:04:06.000 The camaraderie's beautiful, and now the trades are so off that you're gonna end up on this dude's team at some point anyway.
00:04:13.000 Yeah.
00:04:15.000 Well, I guess it's probably the best players can figure out how to always play as a team while playing their best.
00:04:24.000 If your ego allows you to.
00:04:26.000 Some people are stubborn.
00:04:28.000 I'm definitely no basketball expert, but when I watch high-performing athletics, in a team sports environment, it's always this dance between what is the best thing to do to score versus what do I want to do?
00:04:43.000 What do I want to do since I have the ball?
00:04:45.000 Do I want to try to show off?
00:04:47.000 Do I want to try to pull off something wild?
00:04:49.000 Or do I pass?
00:04:51.000 You know, like, what do I do?
00:04:52.000 And then people get upset when you don't make, you know, the ladder, when you don't pass enough, right?
00:04:58.000 That's, like, a big one.
00:04:59.000 Yeah, if you slow down, like, I mean, think about it.
00:05:01.000 If you want to simplify it to, like, kids playing in the park, if you're playing your ass off on D and you have one dude just, like, ISO dribbling the whole time on offense, you're like, you're wasting our energy. 0.99
00:05:11.000 You're being a dick. 0.99
00:05:12.000 I don't like that. 1.00
00:05:12.000 So, yeah, I think... 1.00
00:05:13.000 There's always going to be guys like that that just want the ball.
00:05:16.000 But you have to know who you are.
00:05:17.000 I mean, it's like anything else.
00:05:19.000 If you know what's funny about you, you'll be a better comic, right?
00:05:22.000 If you know what your purpose is as a basketball player, I'm a defender.
00:05:26.000 I'm a three-point specialist.
00:05:28.000 Knowing who you are is all of it, really, you know? 1.00
00:05:31.000 It's one of the classic fumbles of all time, is a guy who talks shit while playing basketball and then gets his ass kicked. 1.00
00:05:37.000 Yeah, but it's so satisfying. 1.00
00:05:39.000 It's the worst thing ever. 0.98
00:05:40.000 When I see people shit-talking like Steph Curry, I'm like, you know how this ends. 1.00
00:05:44.000 It's like shit-talking Jack Reacher. 1.00
00:05:45.000 You're gonna fucking lose. 1.00
00:05:47.000 So ridiculous. 1.00
00:05:48.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:05:48.000 Why are you doing that? 0.99
00:05:49.000 People are so delusional.
00:05:51.000 Like, the difference between a world-class athlete and the average person is such a gap.
00:05:57.000 But then again, there's some people out there that are just genetic freaks.
00:06:03.000 And, you know, they...
00:06:07.000 They probably are young and super cocky, and they might be elite someday, and they think they are right now.
00:06:15.000 That's just a part of being a male.
00:06:19.000 Involved in competitive sports, they're all just going after each other, whether it's with basketball or football, or especially with fighting.
00:06:26.000 On the professional level, it can be cool, but when you play with your friends in the park, and you have that one guy with anger problems, and you're like, I had a friend who used to yell at people.
00:06:34.000 I'm like, dude, that guy's homeless.
00:06:35.000 You gotta stop yelling at a homeless guy.
00:06:37.000 I had a friend who used to do that at the comedian's softball game.
00:06:40.000 Him and this other dude, who's also my friend, they would scream in each other's faces.
00:06:46.000 Screaming like two gorillas, just screaming in each other's faces. 0.99
00:06:51.000 It was so ridiculous. 0.99
00:06:52.000 Some people need that to get them amped up. 0.98
00:06:53.000 This is a softball game, guys. 1.00
00:06:54.000 Michael Jordan would create shit. 1.00
00:06:56.000 He would create reasons to be mad at us. 1.00
00:06:58.000 There's this famous story about MJ where he, like a guy was like, he had a career night against Michael Jordan, a career night, 39 points or something.
00:07:06.000 MJ had an off night.
00:07:07.000 And at the end of the game, he was like, good game to Michael Jordan. 1.00
00:07:11.000 And Jordan was like, oh, I'm going to fucking kill him. 0.99
00:07:14.000 Like, he said it, like, in his head sarcastically. 1.00
00:07:16.000 So the next time they play, Jordan annihilates him, like, humiliates him.
00:07:20.000 And then it later came out, the guy's like, I never said that. 1.00
00:07:23.000 I didn't say shit to Mike, but Jordan is so crazy he needs fuel to just be like, you wronged me in some way and that's how I'll kill you. 0.99
00:07:30.000 Right, he probably put it in his head that the guy did say that. 1.00
00:07:33.000 Totally.
00:07:34.000 Yeah.
00:07:35.000 But that's like psychotic.
00:07:36.000 But that's how you get to be Michael Jordan.
00:07:38.000 When you're the elite of the elite, that's just such a special mindset.
00:07:44.000 To be able to be that good at anything, whether it's Tiger Woods at golf or Michael Jordan at basketball or Mike Tyson at fighting.
00:07:51.000 To get that good at anything, man, that is so rare.
00:07:58.000 It requires so much insane focus on one goal, and you're competing with What?
00:08:07.000 Thousands and thousands of other elite athletes that also have their eye on this one goal?
00:08:12.000 Well, Tiger Woods is a great example.
00:08:14.000 It's almost like you're a kid and you learn a language at like two years old and you're like, well, that kid speaks Spanish now.
00:08:19.000 It was easy for him.
00:08:20.000 That's what Tiger's dad did to him with golf.
00:08:23.000 It's like, oh, you just know that this is what it takes with golf. 1.00
00:08:26.000 And then, of course, you need to fuck. 1.00
00:08:28.000 40,000 women. 1.00
00:08:30.000 You have to.
00:08:31.000 Especially if you look like Tiger Woods.
00:08:34.000 Let him have it.
00:08:36.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:08:36.000 The whole thing's ridiculous. 0.97
00:08:37.000 But also, it's like you see in that guy the difference between what elite athleticism applied to golf. 0.78
00:08:46.000 He got banged up.
00:08:48.000 Yeah.
00:08:49.000 Well, you don't hear about that many golfers that go through as many surgeries.
00:08:53.000 I know he did one surgery for his leg, but a bunch of it's back stuff, right?
00:08:56.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:08:57.000 And you gotta think, that fucking torque that guy puts in that club. 1.00
00:09:01.000 Like, how many times can you do that before your back just goes, fuck you? 1.00
00:09:06.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:09:07.000 You know, the way that guy hits a ball.
00:09:09.000 And he's one of those dudes where you're like, growing up, I'd be like, oh, you could be a fat golfer.
00:09:13.000 And then you see, no, your body will probably break down. 0.99
00:09:15.000 Tiger's fucking ripped. 1.00
00:09:16.000 Yeah, he's jacked. 1.00
00:09:17.000 Show me a video of him hitting a long drive.
00:09:21.000 I was going to show you this, which is kind of...
00:09:24.000 It's almost more impressive.
00:09:26.000 His ability to stop mid-swing.
00:09:28.000 Is this rear window?
00:09:29.000 Who's shooting this right here?
00:09:30.000 Well, this is on-field stuff.
00:09:32.000 Oh, jeez.
00:09:32.000 But it's really...
00:09:33.000 Why did he stop mid-swing?
00:09:36.000 Because either someone made a noise or something just distracted him.
00:09:40.000 But you're already going and you're so torqued up by the time you're in the back there.
00:09:43.000 To stop is...
00:09:47.000 It takes a lot. 0.99
00:09:48.000 It's just like a mental fortitude and then also to be able to stop without fucking up. 0.99
00:09:52.000 But it is kind of funny the abuse other athletes take compared to golfers. 0.98
00:09:56.000 Like if you're playing football, I mean verbal from an audience.
00:10:01.000 I used to do a podcast with Julian Edelman who's a Super Bowl champ with the Patriots three times.
00:10:07.000 Great guy.
00:10:08.000 But he would tell me, yeah, they would throw dildos at me on the field in Buffalo because they hated me.
00:10:14.000 In golf, they're like, quiet, quiet.
00:10:17.000 You can't take any noise.
00:10:18.000 Yeah, there's no noise.
00:10:19.000 It's a different focus.
00:10:20.000 But there is that one tournament that they do where it's a giant crowd.
00:10:24.000 Have you seen that one?
00:10:25.000 They just had that problem with that this weekend.
00:10:26.000 What was that?
00:10:27.000 They had a problem?
00:10:28.000 Yeah.
00:10:29.000 What happened?
00:10:29.000 They let in too many people and they stopped selling alcohol like one in the afternoon.
00:10:33.000 Oh, no. 1.00
00:10:33.000 We're getting so fucked up. 1.00
00:10:34.000 Oh, no. 1.00
00:10:35.000 Yeah.
00:10:36.000 It's like, I mean, no one got hurt or anything.
00:10:39.000 Can you show a video?
00:10:40.000 Well, I want to see a video of him hitting the ball first, but then I want to show Sam the video of this golf tournament.
00:10:47.000 I mean, the dude, the way his whole body, like, swings that club, there's so much force.
00:10:55.000 Look at that. 0.99
00:10:56.000 Also, to see that emotion, damn. 0.99
00:11:00.000 And the years of practice, like, how many times has he swung a club? 0.99
00:11:04.000 I should say I know nothing about golf, but he's a dude, if he's playing, you're like, yeah, it's fucking cool to watch Tiger Woods.
00:11:10.000 Yeah, it's cool to watch.
00:11:11.000 How does he play Jamie since he broke his leg?
00:11:13.000 He has played okay since he broke his leg.
00:11:17.000 He hasn't played that many rounds, really.
00:11:20.000 Apparently he had a terrible leg break, like really bad.
00:11:23.000 Yeah.
00:11:24.000 That's scary.
00:11:26.000 Is his son going to be good?
00:11:27.000 His son is good.
00:11:28.000 Yeah?
00:11:29.000 Yeah.
00:11:30.000 His son's out driving him now, which I don't know what that means really, but that's really good.
00:11:35.000 That's power at a young age.
00:11:37.000 That's insane.
00:11:38.000 This is that crazy hole, the 16th at the Waste Management.
00:11:41.000 So look at this.
00:11:42.000 Phoenix Open.
00:11:43.000 Look at the crowd.
00:11:44.000 There's like a gigantic crowd and they're loud.
00:11:46.000 People are loud.
00:11:47.000 Wow.
00:11:48.000 They make it like a big stadium.
00:11:49.000 Look at that.
00:11:50.000 It's pretty cool.
00:11:55.000 I mean, listen to that cheer for golf.
00:11:59.000 Some of the players, like, encourage it on this hole, you know?
00:12:03.000 Oh my god, they're so loud. 1.00
00:12:12.000 Oh shit. 1.00
00:12:13.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:12:14.000 Oh shit. 1.00
00:12:16.000 See, that is so much more impressive to do that in front of a crowd. 1.00
00:12:20.000 Yeah.
00:12:21.000 You know? 0.92
00:12:21.000 I mean, there's something kind of fucking cool about that. 0.92
00:12:24.000 You have to shut out the world. 0.92
00:12:25.000 I mean, that's a talent too.
00:12:27.000 For sure.
00:12:29.000 For sure.
00:12:30.000 Especially in something that's so...
00:12:33.000 Touch-oriented.
00:12:35.000 You're concentrating on how many revolutions you're going to put on a ball on grass.
00:12:40.000 Yeah.
00:12:41.000 There's so much touch to it that any little... 1.00
00:12:44.000 You're fucked. 1.00
00:12:46.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:12:47.000 Golf and tennis, I've never been to either.
00:12:50.000 Tennis, when it's on TV, it's one of those where I'm like, man, the shape you've got to be in...
00:12:56.000 This was the last time he won a big event.
00:12:59.000 This is so insane.
00:13:01.000 Look at this crowd.
00:13:02.000 Yeah, this is stressful.
00:13:04.000 Look how many people that is.
00:13:05.000 He's got to keep it together.
00:13:06.000 I think he had pretty much had it wrapped up by now, but you still have to make the last two shots. 0.99
00:13:11.000 You can easily fuck those up. 0.99
00:13:12.000 Dude, there's so many people. 1.00
00:13:15.000 That's so ridiculous. 0.99
00:13:16.000 What do you think of his dad? 1.00
00:13:17.000 I mean, it is a weird way to raise a child.
00:13:20.000 I'm not really familiar with exactly what happened.
00:13:23.000 Well, his dad just turned him into Tiger Woods.
00:13:25.000 I mean, it's almost like a superhero origin story.
00:13:28.000 I mean, if you become this, you don't have a good childhood.
00:13:32.000 Yeah, and you probably also didn't have a choice.
00:13:35.000 No way.
00:13:36.000 Yeah, but that's the question.
00:13:37.000 Is it different than being a stage mom?
00:13:41.000 It's a good question.
00:13:42.000 It's a good question.
00:13:43.000 Like, how much is too much, right?
00:13:45.000 I mean, look at this.
00:13:45.000 It's just kind of dark.
00:13:49.000 He's two.
00:13:51.000 He has a golf club and he's two.
00:13:57.000 Bro, that's insane.
00:13:59.000 The doc is incredible.
00:14:00.000 It's on HBO, I think.
00:14:02.000 It's incredible.
00:14:02.000 His form is immaculate at two.
00:14:08.000 Wow.
00:14:09.000 But that's a lot of hours.
00:14:10.000 Like, Daddy, please let me watch cartoons. 1.00
00:14:11.000 And he's like, fuck you. 1.00
00:14:12.000 You're gonna work on your swing. 1.00
00:14:14.000 I mean, that's kind of sad.
00:14:15.000 There's a little bit of that for sure.
00:14:16.000 Yeah, you would like someone to just gravitate towards something.
00:14:20.000 Yeah.
00:14:21.000 And then you encourage them as far as they want to go with it.
00:14:24.000 I think about it in sports a lot, too, where a guy like LeBron, who came from absolutely nothing and became LeBron, he's got a son now who, first of all, being LeBron's son can't be easy, right?
00:14:35.000 It's got to be hard.
00:14:36.000 A lot of pressure.
00:14:36.000 A lot of pressure.
00:14:37.000 And he's a good player.
00:14:38.000 It looks like he's going to make the NBA, but you're not going to be LeBron.
00:14:41.000 Also, it's like, okay, you have every advantage.
00:14:43.000 You grew up in an incredible home.
00:14:45.000 You have trainers around the clock versus a guy who's hungry as hell.
00:14:49.000 Yeah.
00:14:50.000 I mean, it's an interesting study if you had two guys with those talents. 0.96
00:14:54.000 It's almost like a fucking trading places type thing, maybe I'm thinking. 0.90
00:14:58.000 Okay, which is better? 0.99
00:15:01.000 The hungry guy.
00:15:02.000 I agree.
00:15:02.000 Hungry guy with good genetics wins every time.
00:15:05.000 Yeah.
00:15:05.000 Yeah.
00:15:06.000 Because he needs it.
00:15:08.000 Yeah.
00:15:08.000 It's a different mindset.
00:15:11.000 It's got to be very difficult to engage in something like combat sports or pro football.
00:15:16.000 I'm not saying it's not possible, but it's got to be very difficult to do that if you come from a really comfortable environment.
00:15:23.000 Yeah.
00:15:23.000 Because you're just not going to have that certain level of anger necessary to get the job done.
00:15:30.000 And then in a combat sport, as you said, you need to shut that anger off at some point.
00:15:33.000 Same with football.
00:15:35.000 That's a violent game, man. 1.00
00:15:36.000 Watching the Super Bowl, how many people on the 49ers, I was like, this is like fucking war. 0.99
00:15:41.000 People were just carried off on stretchers. 0.99
00:15:43.000 It felt like I was watching MASH. It was rough.
00:15:47.000 You don't see a lot of rich people's sons going into that line of work. 0.98
00:15:52.000 Well, Bill Lambeer on the Bad Boy Pistons came from Privilege, but then Isaiah Thomas, he's the general, and he came from the worst fucking part of Chicago. 0.97
00:16:01.000 Yeah. 0.93
00:16:02.000 But that's kind of an interesting blend, you know?
00:16:04.000 Yeah, it kind of is.
00:16:05.000 I mean, I could see how they could compete in some sports, but in combat sports, like, the people that come from nothing have, like, extra gear. 0.99
00:16:15.000 They just have an extra gear.
00:16:17.000 What about a guy like Kimbo Slice, though, who's, like, really from nothing?
00:16:20.000 Mm-hmm.
00:16:23.000 Well, also just a talented boxer.
00:16:26.000 Kimball Slice had very good hands. 0.97
00:16:28.000 If you watch those videos of him out in the back parking areas where they would fight on parking lots and backyards and dodging satellite dishes and shit. 0.90
00:16:39.000 You ever see those videos? 0.93
00:16:40.000 I've seen some of his stuff.
00:16:41.000 He's terrifying.
00:16:42.000 He's a good boxer.
00:16:43.000 And he was boxing people that were not good boxers.
00:16:46.000 They just did not know.
00:16:49.000 They were tough guys, but they weren't at his level.
00:16:52.000 And he would just have these bare-knuckle backyard fights. 0.99
00:16:56.000 And the nicest fucking guy, too. 0.99
00:16:58.000 That's the thing about Kimbo. 0.99
00:16:59.000 Rest in peace.
00:17:00.000 He was the nicest guy.
00:17:02.000 Super sweet guy.
00:17:04.000 Like, very friendly to everybody.
00:17:05.000 Took pictures with everybody.
00:17:07.000 Not like a thug.
00:17:08.000 Yeah.
00:17:09.000 Just a really tough guy.
00:17:10.000 And so tough that he even entered into the ultimate fighter.
00:17:14.000 Like, he really didn't have a backyard...
00:17:17.000 I mean, he really didn't have a background, rather, in grappling.
00:17:20.000 He wasn't really a grappler.
00:17:21.000 And now you kind of need that, right?
00:17:23.000 Well, you had to, yeah.
00:17:24.000 He got beat up by big country, Roy Nelson.
00:17:27.000 Just took him down and got on top of him. 0.70
00:17:29.000 Just kept punching him in the head.
00:17:30.000 He couldn't do anything about it. 0.73
00:17:31.000 He put him in a crucifix and just didn't know how to grapple. 1.00
00:17:33.000 Damn. 0.99
00:17:33.000 Which is so unfair. 0.99
00:17:37.000 If bare-knuckle boxing was around like it is now and Kimbo was around, Kimbo would have been one of the best at bare-knuckle boxing.
00:17:46.000 He would have been...
00:17:47.000 Because that was really where his skill set is, was with his hands and his toughness.
00:17:52.000 He really wasn't a kicker.
00:17:53.000 He really wasn't a grappler.
00:17:55.000 He had to learn all that stuff.
00:17:56.000 That didn't come natural to him.
00:17:58.000 I mean, it's really like just being around at the right time.
00:18:00.000 If you're just a boxer versus now, it's like being a silent film star and then now they're talking.
00:18:05.000 Right.
00:18:06.000 Now they're kicking.
00:18:07.000 Now they're grappling.
00:18:09.000 You have to adapt.
00:18:10.000 But those fights that he was having weren't like...
00:18:12.000 They were just backyard fights.
00:18:15.000 They weren't organized in the sense of...
00:18:16.000 There was no athletic commission involved or anything like that.
00:18:21.000 So once he started fighting...
00:18:23.000 He wanted to fight in, like, the UFC. He fought for a while in Elite XC, and he fought some good fighters over there, and then came over to the UFC and did the Ultimate Fighter.
00:18:35.000 Just like a very ballsy thing to do, you know?
00:18:39.000 To try to learn grappling and fight in front of the world.
00:18:44.000 Yeah.
00:18:45.000 Because really, he did not have that much grappling.
00:18:47.000 And that's such a giant disadvantage amongst those giant dudes in his division.
00:18:53.000 These guys are so big. 0.98
00:18:54.000 These guys are just taking each other down and beating the shit out of you. 0.93
00:18:58.000 Well, it's like that guy who boxed against Jake Paul, one of the first guys. 0.95
00:19:02.000 He was a wrestler.
00:19:02.000 The guy who's a really good wrestler.
00:19:05.000 Ben Askren?
00:19:06.000 Yeah.
00:19:06.000 I mean, it's just a different thing.
00:19:08.000 Well, yeah.
00:19:09.000 I think Ben just took a payday.
00:19:11.000 I think he just gave it a go for the money.
00:19:14.000 You know, let's see.
00:19:16.000 He's an amazing wrestler, but he's not really known for being a striker. 0.99
00:19:21.000 That must be so fucking annoying to be amazing at one thing and then you have to do another thing that you suck at. 0.95
00:19:27.000 Some guys pick it up really quick. 0.98
00:19:29.000 There's some athletes, for whatever reason, they're just really good at learning new skills.
00:19:35.000 Like really good at learning how to kick, really good at learning how to punch.
00:19:40.000 Some wrestlers like Bo Nickel picked it up really quick.
00:19:43.000 Like in a couple of years, he looked really good on his feet.
00:19:46.000 Like dangerous.
00:19:47.000 But then there's some that for whatever reason, like maybe their style of grappling was more controlled based and less dynamic and not as explosive and like changing from move to move.
00:19:58.000 Because some guys just have like a slow pressure wrestling game and those guys just can never get the punches flowing.
00:20:06.000 Everything's just all bunched up, you know?
00:20:09.000 They're just so used to like grabbing and squeezing things that the idea of being like loose and punching It doesn't make sense to them.
00:20:17.000 Yeah.
00:20:17.000 It doesn't work with their body.
00:20:18.000 You have to retrain your body.
00:20:19.000 Yeah.
00:20:19.000 Yeah, it's so weird.
00:20:20.000 When I see a guy lunging, I'm like, oh, it's like when you see a baseball player reaching, and you're like, that's not how you...
00:20:24.000 Not that I know how to fucking throw a punch, but, you know.
00:20:28.000 It's a dangerous game to not be good at. 0.98
00:20:31.000 It's the most dangerous game to not be good at.
00:20:33.000 If you want to learn how to do it, before you start competing, you better really know how to do everything.
00:20:41.000 At this stage of the game, there's just too many people that can shut down one aspect of your game.
00:20:46.000 You know, if you don't have a ground game, they're gonna figure you out, and they're gonna take you down.
00:20:50.000 They're strung you.
00:20:51.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:20:51.000 And if you don't have a stand-up game, they're gonna keep it in the feet and beat the shit out of you. 0.99
00:20:56.000 They're gonna figure it out.
00:20:57.000 You can't have any holes in your game at all.
00:20:59.000 Yeah.
00:20:59.000 You gotta be like Mighty Mouse.
00:21:00.000 Yeah, you can't be one-dimensional.
00:21:02.000 Yeah.
00:21:02.000 You gotta be able to do everything.
00:21:03.000 It's like comedy now.
00:21:04.000 You gotta do everything.
00:21:05.000 Yeah.
00:21:05.000 You can't just do stand-up.
00:21:07.000 You can't just podcast.
00:21:09.000 You can't, you know, just try to do movies. 0.99
00:21:10.000 You really have to do other shit. 0.98
00:21:12.000 You probably should, just so you don't want to be confined to one. 0.99
00:21:16.000 Thing that you do if you have options.
00:21:18.000 It's just more fun to do different stuff.
00:21:21.000 It's more fun to do extra stuff.
00:21:22.000 It's good to challenge yourself too.
00:21:24.000 Yeah.
00:21:25.000 It's just fun.
00:21:26.000 It just makes it more interesting to do different things.
00:21:29.000 I mean, it's like walking a different road home every day.
00:21:32.000 Okay, I've walked this way home.
00:21:34.000 Let's see what this route does for me.
00:21:36.000 It's just better for your brain, I think.
00:21:39.000 It's definitely better for your brain.
00:21:40.000 I think it's just, as a comic, you could just get too locked into just doing stand-up all the time. 1.00
00:21:47.000 That could kind of fuck your head. 0.98
00:21:49.000 I'm realizing I do it too much, and I'm like, in terms of the road, it burns you out. 1.00
00:21:53.000 You run out of shit to talk about. 0.99
00:21:55.000 Because it's been... 1.00
00:21:56.000 You know, you work so hard to get to a place where you're always working and then you get there and you're like, I gotta live a life.
00:22:02.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:22:03.000 I have to have shit to talk about. 1.00
00:22:04.000 Otherwise you start faking it. 1.00
00:22:06.000 Yeah.
00:22:07.000 You start faking what you're interested in.
00:22:10.000 You start pretending.
00:22:11.000 You start talking about things you think they'll be interested in.
00:22:15.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:22:15.000 You don't know what the fuck is going on in the world anymore. 0.99
00:22:17.000 You've just been doing hotel to hotel, club to club. 0.99
00:22:21.000 Yeah.
00:22:21.000 Kind of losing your mind.
00:22:23.000 I ran into Chris Rock on the street once, and I told him, I finally took my first vacation ever, and he goes, oh man, good for you.
00:22:28.000 He's like, gotta take a vacation.
00:22:30.000 Even LeBron has an off-season.
00:22:33.000 Wise words.
00:22:34.000 Very wise words.
00:22:36.000 Smart.
00:22:37.000 You burn yourself out.
00:22:38.000 Anyone at...
00:22:40.000 When you reach that level of a guy like Chris Rock, they just know what it takes.
00:22:44.000 You know, it's like, yeah, you don't burn yourself out.
00:22:48.000 I mean, he's got a different...
00:22:49.000 He's like, I'll do a movie in this time to not burn out.
00:22:51.000 He's got, you know, a different career, but, you know, he's got wisdom.
00:22:56.000 Yeah, and that's also another very cool thing that you could still do something creatively that's different than that.
00:23:03.000 You could direct something if you wanted to.
00:23:04.000 I want to do other stuff.
00:23:06.000 Stand-up's always number one, and I think, thank God for stand-up, because sometimes I try to make, I'm trying to make a show now, and the amount of fucking emails back and forth, the amount of, like, meetings, this, that. 0.99
00:23:17.000 And I'm like, man, if this was all I had, I'd fucking put a bullet in my head. 0.99
00:23:20.000 Honestly, I really would. 0.99
00:23:22.000 Because the amount of people, they're like, oh, they're on vacation.
00:23:24.000 There's a Jewish holiday.
00:23:25.000 I'm like, I'm Jewish.
00:23:26.000 I've never heard of that holiday.
00:23:27.000 That's not a holiday.
00:23:28.000 I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
00:23:30.000 You know, and then we got MLK Day.
00:23:32.000 Then you shut down for Valentine's Day?
00:23:35.000 There's always something.
00:23:36.000 That's hilarious.
00:23:37.000 So, you know, thank God for stand-up.
00:23:40.000 It's like, it's always there.
00:23:41.000 Yeah. 0.95
00:23:47.000 Just like, what a fucking weird time it is today. 0.97
00:23:52.000 What a weird time it is to tell jokes. 0.97
00:23:55.000 Just in the culture right now? 0.99
00:23:58.000 Yeah, it's just such a strange fucking time. 0.97
00:24:02.000 You know, it's a strange time to be doing stand-up. 0.97
00:24:06.000 It's always a strange time to be...
00:24:07.000 I mean, I think during the Crusades it was weird to be funny.
00:24:10.000 I think it's always a weird time.
00:24:11.000 It's probably so dangerous.
00:24:12.000 I think it's always a bad time to be, you know, but man, people really need it right now.
00:24:17.000 It's great.
00:24:18.000 I love it.
00:24:18.000 I love that cities will surprise you.
00:24:21.000 That's my favorite thing.
00:24:23.000 I never go in, look, I'm going in judging a city because I've had a bad time there and I'm like, let's give it another shot.
00:24:29.000 But I never prejudge.
00:24:31.000 And then you find little golden nuggets.
00:24:33.000 I was at the Omaha Funny Bone a couple weeks ago. 0.99
00:24:35.000 I fucking love that club. 0.97
00:24:37.000 There's a lot of great clubs in this country. 0.99
00:24:39.000 So many great clubs and...
00:24:43.000 The repetition is necessary. 0.99
00:24:44.000 That's the fucking beauty of this, still. 0.98
00:24:46.000 It's like, I think I've cracked a story, and then I'm like, oh, that wasn't the ending. 0.99
00:24:50.000 You just find it out on stage sometimes, you know?
00:24:52.000 And you tighten things up sometimes.
00:24:54.000 You just, like, take a chunk out, and they're like, oh, this is way better this way.
00:24:57.000 Yeah, sometimes your ego keeps a chunk in.
00:24:59.000 And you're like, this is for me.
00:25:01.000 And you realize, like, that's also, we're the only type of entertainment where, like, the crowd is really part of the editing process. 0.99
00:25:08.000 Scorsese's not, you know, workshopping his shit in Omaha. 0.98
00:25:11.000 We're taking our shit all over the country to make sure this works. 0.99
00:25:15.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.99
00:25:16.000 It's really interesting that way.
00:25:18.000 Music is not made that way.
00:25:20.000 No.
00:25:20.000 It's really the only art form that's made that way.
00:25:24.000 And you know, it's really interesting that so many people love it, but there's no real formal study of it by anybody that knows how to do it.
00:25:31.000 But it's getting there.
00:25:32.000 Kind of.
00:25:33.000 I think there's...
00:25:34.000 All the studies are so boring.
00:25:35.000 If you read, like, Simon Critchley, I think it's on humor, you're like, I'm so bored. 0.99
00:25:38.000 You hear Freud talk about humor, you're like, yeah, dude, it's about tension release, no shit. 0.99
00:25:43.000 It's fucking boring when you read. 0.99
00:25:44.000 When you read people dissecting comedy, like, it can get boring. 0.98
00:25:48.000 It's not just about tension release, though.
00:25:51.000 There's a thing going on when someone's killing, and I liken it to a mass hypnosis.
00:25:58.000 If Joey Diaz is on stage and he's crushing, you're under a spell.
00:26:03.000 You're under a spell.
00:26:04.000 You're in his mind.
00:26:06.000 A rhythm, too.
00:26:07.000 It's like you're lulled.
00:26:08.000 Yeah.
00:26:09.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the cool thing about comics is guys like Nate Bargatze or something like that, where the jokes, like, he has a rhythm that's so unique.
00:26:16.000 You're like, oh, I'm just like, I'm just under his spell.
00:26:19.000 Yeah.
00:26:20.000 It's cool.
00:26:20.000 It's kind of like a hypnosis.
00:26:22.000 It really is.
00:26:23.000 Yeah.
00:26:24.000 You know, and then we're just trying to piece it together in the most, like, digestible way possible.
00:26:30.000 The way that it has the best impact.
00:26:32.000 Make sure you scour all the corners.
00:26:34.000 Make sure you cover all the angles.
00:26:37.000 Clear the room.
00:26:38.000 Yeah.
00:26:39.000 It's great, man.
00:26:40.000 It's a great time.
00:26:43.000 It's a fun thing.
00:26:43.000 The road is...
00:26:44.000 People really fucking... 0.99
00:26:46.000 We are in a boom. 0.99
00:26:47.000 I mean, you started this...
00:26:48.000 It wasn't like this, right?
00:26:50.000 When I started stand-up?
00:26:52.000 No, no, nothing like this.
00:26:54.000 No.
00:26:55.000 No, this is the craziest comedy boom ever because of YouTube.
00:26:58.000 Because of YouTube for podcasts, YouTube for comedy specials, and then for Netflix.
00:27:04.000 Netflix, it made it a boom too.
00:27:07.000 There's like so many people that can travel now.
00:27:10.000 It used to be like there wasn't that many people that did theaters.
00:27:14.000 You know, when I was coming up, nobody did theaters.
00:27:16.000 I saw Rich Jenny when he was at his prime when he was on HBO. I saw him in a comedy club.
00:27:22.000 Damn. 0.99
00:27:22.000 He was a funny dude. 0.99
00:27:23.000 Oh my god, he was amazing, dude.
00:27:25.000 He was amazing.
00:27:26.000 Underappreciated.
00:27:27.000 Super underappreciated.
00:27:28.000 I sing his praises all the time.
00:27:29.000 I was coming home once from the Irvine Improv and my Bluetooth just randomly went to a Richard Jenny bit.
00:27:35.000 Just, you know, like, randomly.
00:27:36.000 You know, sometimes I'll go to a song.
00:27:37.000 It just went to Richard Jennings because it was on my iTunes thing. 0.97
00:27:41.000 And I went, God damn, I forgot how good this was.
00:27:44.000 It was this bit about how he's a fence-sitter. 1.00
00:27:48.000 It was this bit about like shitting on all of the liberals and then shitting on all the Republicans and then shitting on himself. 1.00
00:27:56.000 I'm like, God damn, he was good. 0.99
00:27:58.000 And so then I ordered the whole album on iTunes and I listened to the whole thing on the way home. 0.98
00:28:02.000 It's so cool.
00:28:03.000 It's an incredible album.
00:28:04.000 By the way, I love when it's on shuffle and you hear like, it goes from like a Tom Waits song to like Nick DiPaolo and you're like, that was fucking, that was a big right turn right there. 0.99
00:28:11.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:28:12.000 I think it's a steaming pile of me. 0.99
00:28:14.000 I think that's the one that I downloaded.
00:28:16.000 That's one. 0.99
00:28:17.000 Fucking, he was good, man. 0.99
00:28:18.000 He was excellent. 0.99
00:28:19.000 And I think it's important to make fun of both sides. 0.95
00:28:22.000 And that's, it makes me sad to see people get mad at Jon Stewart right now for For shitting on both sides.
00:28:31.000 He's a comedian first, and I think it's cool to, when you go to the clubs, they don't know exactly what you're going to say.
00:28:37.000 Yeah, if you're gonna have Jon Stewart back on The Daily Show and Biden is making up words, he's gonna bring it up. 0.83
00:28:44.000 He's not gonna just only fuckin' simp for the Democrats. 0.97
00:28:49.000 He's gonna say some funny shit about anything that happens to Democrats, too. 0.98
00:28:54.000 It's funny. 0.98
00:28:55.000 It's part of what the show used to be.
00:28:56.000 It's weird that there's a social responsibility people attribute to comedians when it's like, most of us got good at this by cursing at strangers in a bar.
00:29:05.000 Yeah.
00:29:05.000 I mean, we all have our political opinions, which is fine, but it's like what John's capable of is delivering the news in a very funny way.
00:29:14.000 He's the best at it. 0.99
00:29:15.000 He's the best at that role of being, like, the guy that's doing the satire of the news, you know, just breaking down everything that's wrong and fucking stupid in the world. 0.99
00:29:26.000 He is the peak, and it's interesting because he's like the Animal House. 0.98
00:29:30.000 He's like National Lampoon's Animal House of...
00:29:33.000 He's like the bar, and then everyone tries to copy Animal House, right?
00:29:37.000 Right.
00:29:37.000 And you end up with a lot of, like...
00:29:38.000 Porky's.
00:29:39.000 Porky's.
00:29:40.000 Van Wilder 2, The Rise of Taj.
00:29:42.000 You're like, alright, this isn't as good.
00:29:45.000 Stewart, if you actually look at his stand-up, it's like any form of entertainment.
00:29:50.000 To break these rules, you have to know the rules.
00:29:53.000 And Stewart is a great stand-up.
00:29:54.000 Yeah, he's a very funny guy.
00:29:55.000 He had jokes I remember.
00:29:57.000 I remember he had a joke back in the day.
00:29:58.000 It was about how Jews and black people were similar. 0.98
00:30:02.000 Because black people, we have the blues. 0.99
00:30:04.000 And Jews, we just complain all the time. 0.96
00:30:06.000 We just never thought to put it to music.
00:30:08.000 And I'm like, that's the type of observation that's like unifying.
00:30:12.000 That's like bringing a room together.
00:30:13.000 I love that.
00:30:14.000 That's a very funny bit, too.
00:30:16.000 Yeah, he had a great special in the 90s called Unleavened.
00:30:20.000 I remember it.
00:30:21.000 It was on Comedy Central all the time.
00:30:23.000 Yeah, so he's back like on The Daily Show sometimes, is that what it is?
00:30:27.000 Mondays.
00:30:27.000 Mondays.
00:30:28.000 He's like, I'll give you one day.
00:30:29.000 That's a good move for him.
00:30:31.000 Yeah.
00:30:31.000 Yeah, why do it?
00:30:32.000 I guess he had a deal with Apple, and I don't know if they're saying the specifics of why they canceled the show, but it was something akin to...
00:30:46.000 They didn't want him to say anything that would get them in trouble.
00:30:49.000 Something along those lines.
00:30:51.000 I forget what his quote was. 1.00
00:30:51.000 Maybe about China and they're like, hey, we make a lot of shit over there. 1.00
00:30:54.000 Here it is. 1.00
00:30:55.000 Yeah.
00:30:55.000 Here it is.
00:30:57.000 John Stewart says Apple TV canceled his show because they didn't want me to say things that might get me in trouble.
00:31:05.000 Okay. 0.99
00:31:05.000 Damn. 0.99
00:31:09.000 Boy, kids, what kind of a world are we talking? 0.99
00:31:12.000 And by the way, that's like, that's like what comics, that's what gets us excited, the idea that this could get me in trouble.
00:31:19.000 Like, that's everything.
00:31:20.000 Also, Apple, by the way, you distribute all the apps that do all the trouble.
00:31:28.000 And you take a percentage, too.
00:31:29.000 That's getting everybody in trouble.
00:31:30.000 You take a percentage of their profits.
00:31:32.000 You don't want Jon Stewart to say something that might get him in trouble?
00:31:35.000 Why don't you let him decide for himself?
00:31:37.000 What's great about Jon Stewart, too, is there's so many comics who are like, and I have no issue with this, but speak recklessly.
00:31:44.000 And Jon is so careful with his words and so skilled at it.
00:31:50.000 Yeah.
00:31:51.000 I wanted a place to unload thoughts as we get into this election season, Stewart said.
00:31:57.000 I thought I was going to do it over at, they call Apple TV+. It's a television enclave, very small, it's like living in Malibu.
00:32:04.000 But they decided, they felt that they didn't want me to say things that might get me in trouble.
00:32:12.000 I don't know what that means.
00:32:13.000 You know, that could mean a lot of things.
00:32:14.000 Very coded.
00:32:15.000 I think it's talking about, you know, China, maybe.
00:32:19.000 Yeah, I think there was a China.
00:32:21.000 Stuff like that.
00:32:21.000 There was something about that.
00:32:22.000 Apple obviously works with China.
00:32:26.000 What was the subject?
00:32:27.000 It says China?
00:32:29.000 AI and China.
00:32:30.000 Okay, Times reported that the duo had disagreements over topics that were to be covered in the third season, including AI and China.
00:32:39.000 Wow, they had a disagreement about AI and China.
00:32:42.000 These people, what are they doing?
00:32:44.000 Members of the U.S. House of Representatives later questions Apple CEO Tim Cook about whether the tech giant's decision to cancel Stewart's show is because the host may have been planning an upcoming episode about China.
00:32:58.000 He says, while companies have the right to determine what content is appropriate for their streaming service, the coercive tactics of a foreign power should not be directly or indirectly influencing those determinations.
00:33:10.000 The leaders of the House of Representatives Select Committee on Competition with the Chinese Communist Party wrote in a letter to Cook. 0.98
00:33:17.000 Holy shit. 0.96
00:33:19.000 While Stewart did not mention the rumors about Apple's alleged worry over an episode about China, he did say the tech giant Did want me to say things that might get me in trouble. 0.97
00:33:33.000 As for his Daily Show return, he said he hopes to provide a catharsis to viewers this election season and a way to comment on things and a way to express them that hopefully people will enjoy.
00:33:46.000 So far. 1.00
00:33:48.000 That sounds like China said, don't fucking put that shit on. 1.00
00:33:52.000 That's what I got out of that. 1.00
00:33:53.000 What did you get out of that?
00:33:54.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:33:55.000 It's like that Seth Rogen movie.
00:33:57.000 Yeah.
00:33:59.000 Is that one that's still available?
00:34:00.000 Can you get that?
00:34:01.000 I think so.
00:34:02.000 Remember when there was tension, like, are we going to get nuked over a Seth Rogen movie?
00:34:06.000 I remember watching that going like, do you know how dangerous those people are?
00:34:11.000 Do you want North Koreans mad at you for hee-hees and ha-has? 1.00
00:34:15.000 Yeah.
00:34:16.000 Really?
00:34:17.000 Yeah.
00:34:17.000 Oof.
00:34:18.000 And then they hacked the servers, right?
00:34:20.000 Isn't that how that happened?
00:34:21.000 Is that what happened?
00:34:22.000 They hacked the servers?
00:34:23.000 It was at Sony, right?
00:34:24.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:34:24.000 And then a bunch of shit got found out. 1.00
00:34:26.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:34:26.000 And emails and... 0.99
00:34:28.000 Was that definitely them?
00:34:29.000 I was trying to remember.
00:34:31.000 I thought so.
00:34:32.000 That could just be cyber criminals.
00:34:33.000 I think it was, yeah.
00:34:34.000 It might have been a coincidence.
00:34:36.000 It could be cyber criminals who decided to attack based on that.
00:34:40.000 Oh, no.
00:34:41.000 No, no.
00:34:41.000 No?
00:34:42.000 According to the wiki, it says, uh...
00:34:43.000 Can I just dream?
00:34:45.000 Can I just dream?
00:34:46.000 It was them.
00:34:47.000 A cyber crime group allegedly connected to the North Korean government.
00:34:50.000 Okay, it is connected, huh?
00:34:52.000 Guardians of Peace, what a great name.
00:34:54.000 That sounds like a government bill.
00:34:58.000 Guardians of Peace sounds like a new bill that would push for the House.
00:35:04.000 Man, some of the Senate, remember when the Senate did a hearing on, it was like during Katrina, I think they did like one day on Katrina and nine days on steroids and baseball.
00:35:15.000 Because you just want to meet Rafael Palmeiro, remember?
00:35:18.000 They're like, oh, we're big fans.
00:35:19.000 Oh my god, that's hilarious. 1.00
00:35:21.000 I mean, the shit that they get concerned with is so crazy. 0.99
00:35:25.000 Yeah, but you don't want to go full communist. 0.99
00:35:27.000 You don't want to say, like, the news shouldn't be able to make money.
00:35:31.000 You know, they should be able to make money.
00:35:33.000 They should be able to make money, but the second you combine news and entertainment, it's a dangerous, mucky area. 0.95
00:35:38.000 It gets real squirrely.
00:35:39.000 Because entertainment is not news.
00:35:43.000 It's not news at all.
00:35:43.000 The news is supposed to be boring.
00:35:45.000 Boring as shit. 1.00
00:35:46.000 You're supposed to be like, why am I... And now we have it in a way where like, you watch 12 straight out of the news? 1.00
00:35:50.000 That's a fucking problem. 0.98
00:35:51.000 Well, what's my favorite is the in-between story banter. 0.99
00:35:55.000 That is the most uncomfortable, hurried, kind of weird, fake talk that exists in all of television.
00:36:03.000 It doesn't exist anywhere else on Earth right now in mainstream entertainment.
00:36:08.000 And the banter between the anchor and, like, the weather lady as they're throwing back and forth to each other, then this guy...
00:36:16.000 Oh, dude.
00:36:17.000 It is the fakest...
00:36:19.000 Well, that...
00:36:20.000 Seems like I don't know what to say about that.
00:36:23.000 I still do morning news just to ruin the segments.
00:36:25.000 That's the only reason I go on.
00:36:26.000 I do it all the time.
00:36:28.000 You did a good one in Columbus.
00:36:29.000 Do you see that one?
00:36:30.000 Yeah, it's from France.
00:36:32.000 What'd you do?
00:36:33.000 I can send it to you.
00:36:34.000 It's pretty funny.
00:36:35.000 I'll find it.
00:36:35.000 Yeah, I think I have it here.
00:36:38.000 It's probably on my Instagram or something.
00:36:41.000 I just kept making up that they had a human trafficking problem in Columbus, and the guy lost it on me.
00:36:47.000 Because I'll only do those news segments if they're live because there's no point in doing a tape one.
00:36:51.000 They'll just edit out whatever horrible thing I do. 0.79
00:36:54.000 But, you know, sometimes you get someone really cool and you'll just riff with them and be silly.
00:36:58.000 But this dude, I could tell, I'll throw like a jab to see if it bothers them.
00:37:02.000 And if I can sense it bothers them, I'll go like 100 miles an hour and just derail the segment.
00:37:08.000 I remember I have a publicist, Pam, who hates me. 0.99
00:37:11.000 I just am like, I don't care about morning radio.
00:37:13.000 Just book me on morning shows.
00:37:14.000 And she's like, they're on to you.
00:37:15.000 They know you're going to ruin the segment.
00:37:17.000 But Pam, she gets so mad at me. 0.91
00:37:20.000 Do you ever go on one and the people are cool and you don't ruin the segment?
00:37:23.000 Yeah, totally.
00:37:24.000 But they usually end up, sometimes they think it's funny.
00:37:27.000 But other times, yeah, I did one, we were on a tour bus last year and I pretended my opener, Gary Veeder, overdosed on cocaine on the bus and they were so mad at me.
00:37:37.000 And she called me like, you're banned from Good Morning Durham.
00:37:41.000 And I was like, I'll live.
00:37:43.000 But But we've done a lot where I just, I poke and I see what I can get away with.
00:37:50.000 How many people are watching those shows?
00:37:53.000 Not a lot, but when I share them, they do pretty well because they're weird to watch me do something bad.
00:38:00.000 Yeah.
00:38:00.000 I can text it to you.
00:38:01.000 I think I have it on my phone somewhere.
00:38:03.000 I'm trying to find it.
00:38:05.000 No people under 60 are watching that, right?
00:38:08.000 Am I correct?
00:38:09.000 Probably not.
00:38:10.000 I mean, sometimes when I'm in a hotel, I have it on in the background just for background noise when I'm bored on the road.
00:38:14.000 Right.
00:38:15.000 But yeah, I don't...
00:38:18.000 It's almost like I want to watch the news, but I don't want to think.
00:38:22.000 Yeah.
00:38:22.000 Which, you know, I'm not going to watch, like, BBC. I'm going to watch Pittsburgh Today Live.
00:38:28.000 Local men eaten by alligator.
00:38:34.000 That was the first one.
00:38:35.000 Pittsburgh, actually.
00:38:36.000 I pretended I was molested on air. 0.98
00:38:39.000 Because she just kept asking the dumbest questions, and she goes, when did you catch the funny bug? 0.98
00:38:44.000 And I said, well, my uncle molested me, and he was funny, and I caught it like Spider-Man. 0.98
00:38:49.000 And they just stared at me like, oh, is it?
00:38:52.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:38:53.000 No, that's Springfield.
00:38:55.000 I know him all.
00:38:56.000 That's a guy.
00:39:04.000 I've been.
00:39:05.000 I've been.
00:39:05.000 I love Columbus.
00:39:07.000 Great city.
00:39:08.000 Big fan of, despite all the human trafficking going on there, I still find a lot of fun.
00:39:15.000 Great city, nonetheless.
00:39:18.000 I can tell he doesn't want it, so this is where I poke.
00:39:22.000 Like that!
00:39:35.000 I'll tell you what I'm not a fan of is human trafficking.
00:39:43.000 This is the best part, because he snaps here.
00:39:46.000 We'll look forward to seeing you.
00:39:48.000 Thanks, Sam.
00:39:49.000 Thank you, guys.
00:39:49.000 Thanks for having me.
00:39:50.000 All right.
00:39:50.000 Have a good one.
00:39:51.000 I don't get...
00:39:52.000 I don't know.
00:39:53.000 I think he would...
00:39:53.000 You know, I know he's kind of edgy and funny.
00:39:55.000 I didn't get the human trafficking thing, because it really wasn't funny the first time.
00:39:58.000 And then he kept doing it two and three and four times.
00:40:01.000 And I tried to ask him.
00:40:02.000 You saw me try to ask him, is this a joke?
00:40:05.000 Are you trying to be funny?
00:40:06.000 What are you trying to do?
00:40:07.000 Wait, I was just trying to explain.
00:40:09.000 The audience just saw the same thing, too.
00:40:11.000 Okay, we'll go to break.
00:40:14.000 Yeah, that was it.
00:40:15.000 He really lost it.
00:40:17.000 That's the only way they're worth doing to me, though, is if it's like insanely uncomfortable.
00:40:22.000 It makes you think, like, even just the way you do one of those shows.
00:40:28.000 Like, those people aren't real friends, you know?
00:40:30.000 Like, you're trying to make them fake.
00:40:31.000 Some of them are good.
00:40:32.000 Some of them are good together. 0.98
00:40:33.000 Well, Good Morning America, those two that were fucking, they were real friends. 0.95
00:40:36.000 Yeah, they were great. 0.99
00:40:36.000 And they were great at their job. 0.99
00:40:38.000 That's why they were good together.
00:40:39.000 They shouldn't have been fired.
00:40:39.000 Why were they fired?
00:40:41.000 For fucking... 1.00
00:40:42.000 Well, here's what happened. 1.00
00:40:43.000 She just fucked him. 1.00
00:40:44.000 He was fucking everybody there, so I think they were like, well, if we fire him... 1.00
00:40:47.000 I mean, yeah, we gotta... 1.00
00:40:50.000 Wow.
00:40:50.000 But they were good.
00:40:51.000 I did their show once, and it was just a regular interview because they were fun.
00:40:55.000 Well, they should do a podcast together.
00:40:57.000 I think they are.
00:40:58.000 There you go.
00:40:59.000 Yeah.
00:40:59.000 Yeah.
00:41:00.000 You don't want a boss, especially in those kind of environments.
00:41:03.000 It's just too restrictive.
00:41:05.000 And it makes me think, if you look at that guy, no offense to that guy that you were just talking to, but I couldn't imagine some sort of an audition process that yielded such results.
00:41:15.000 Yeah.
00:41:15.000 Like, this is the best you guys have.
00:41:18.000 It's a big city, Columbus.
00:41:19.000 Tell the news.
00:41:20.000 Big city with a lot of human trafficking.
00:41:23.000 She almost backed you up on that.
00:41:25.000 I don't know if you heard that.
00:41:26.000 She did.
00:41:27.000 She's like, there's a lot of reports.
00:41:28.000 There's a lot of reports!
00:41:30.000 I don't think it's a funny rumor to make up to be like, you have a human trafficking problem.
00:41:33.000 And I had no research to back that up.
00:41:35.000 But if you have Columbus pride, it bothers you.
00:41:39.000 There are stories.
00:41:40.000 There's also, you're doing it on Zoom, which is extra frustrating. 0.99
00:41:44.000 Because you're not even in the room, so they can't even go, what the fuck are you doing? 0.98
00:41:49.000 You're so disconnected. 0.99
00:41:50.000 They have to be very obvious when they're talking to you.
00:41:53.000 But I've done it where I was bad and it wasn't live and they just edited it out. 0.98
00:41:57.000 I'm like, God damn it, you know? 0.85
00:41:58.000 Gotta get the live ones. 0.98
00:42:00.000 But it's hard to ask for live to say, no, you're gonna do something.
00:42:03.000 So you see my predicament.
00:42:04.000 I'm like, I want live.
00:42:05.000 And they're like, what's he gonna do?
00:42:06.000 Well, I think the gig is up.
00:42:08.000 We'll see.
00:42:09.000 I got one coming up.
00:42:11.000 We'll see if they unbook me. 1.00
00:42:13.000 Maybe they'll be prepared and they just let you fuck with it. 0.99
00:42:16.000 They have done that before. 0.99
00:42:17.000 You know, I did one pre-recorded for New York One when I was promoting MSG Theater.
00:42:23.000 I did that one and they were mad I didn't do it.
00:42:26.000 But it was pre-recorded and they were like, yeah, he just...
00:42:28.000 They told my friend, they were like, yeah, he just behaved.
00:42:30.000 It was really a bummer.
00:42:32.000 Yeah.
00:42:32.000 I was like, well, now I gotta be bad.
00:42:34.000 Because you knew it was pre-recorded, so you're like, ah.
00:42:37.000 Yeah, what's the point?
00:42:38.000 I was just kind of out of energy.
00:42:39.000 I was like, ah, what's the point?
00:42:40.000 It's deflated.
00:42:41.000 Yeah.
00:42:41.000 They're playing dirty.
00:42:43.000 Pre-recorded with you is playing dirty.
00:42:45.000 It is.
00:42:46.000 I'm playing dirty, too, though.
00:42:47.000 You are, but that's the game we play.
00:42:50.000 That's the game we play.
00:42:51.000 It's just fun.
00:42:51.000 If you want to do a morning show.
00:42:52.000 When Segura used to do DJ Dadmouth.
00:42:55.000 Yes. 0.93
00:42:57.000 T.J. Miller was another one who would do crazy shit on there, and I was like, I love that. 0.98
00:43:01.000 Segura was the king of it. 0.99
00:43:02.000 He came out as non-binary on a morning show. 0.99
00:43:09.000 Just fucking total deadpan with a gold chain on and sunglasses. 0.99
00:43:15.000 His energy's perfect for it, too. 0.99
00:43:17.000 He's got that calming energy, too.
00:43:20.000 And just the name DJ Dadmouth. 1.00
00:43:22.000 Like, what the fuck? 0.99
00:43:23.000 Oh my god, that's so funny. 1.00
00:43:26.000 That's so fucking stupid. 1.00
00:43:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:43:29.000 It's fun.
00:43:31.000 But you're right.
00:43:32.000 You kind of killed a lot of those types of shows with your show because it's like, would you rather see them on, you know, Good Morning whatever for four minutes or on your show for three hours?
00:43:45.000 They'd rather see this. 0.77
00:43:46.000 Yeah, but it's also, it's just those, that format sucks.
00:43:50.000 It's a bad format. 0.99
00:43:51.000 It sucks. 0.82
00:43:51.000 I still like the idea of a live interview. 0.82
00:43:54.000 I still think that's really fun.
00:43:56.000 Live interviews are fun.
00:43:57.000 You know, but, yeah, I mean, this, you doing three hours is like, you know, it would change that, I think.
00:44:07.000 I was just lazy.
00:44:08.000 I didn't want to edit anything.
00:44:09.000 Ari used to tell me, he goes, you gotta edit your show.
00:44:13.000 That was his number one complaint.
00:44:15.000 Telling you, listen to me, you gotta edit your show.
00:44:17.000 And I was like, why?
00:44:18.000 Like, no one's gonna listen to all that.
00:44:20.000 Then they don't have to listen.
00:44:21.000 I was like, then don't listen.
00:44:22.000 I don't care if you stop halfway in.
00:44:25.000 Listen to as much as you want.
00:44:26.000 Well, you went against what a lot of people say is about the entertainment world, like keep them wanting more.
00:44:32.000 You're just like, nope, this is the show.
00:44:33.000 It's also this idea that everybody has a short attention span.
00:44:36.000 That's just not true. 0.99
00:44:37.000 That's horseshit. 0.95
00:44:39.000 Even people with short attention spans get into things. 0.97
00:44:43.000 There might be some subject that someone's talking about that lights your interest, lights your curiosity, and then you get locked into it.
00:44:53.000 Where you would never spend three hours ordinarily listening to some guy talk about Egypt. 0.89
00:44:59.000 Some, you know, Graham Hancock type character talking about the people that constructed these things in Turkey and shit. 0.88
00:45:07.000 You would never do that, right? 0.99
00:45:09.000 In the normal world.
00:45:12.000 You could get locked into a conversation, and if it's a three-hour conversation, you come out of that much more energized with whatever that subject is.
00:45:24.000 It's not only is that true, but also I think the fact that people can listen to stuff while they're like cleaning the house and stuff.
00:45:30.000 I mean, you can't do that with a movie, right?
00:45:32.000 The thing is that the number one attractor is always going to be like the TikTok and the Instagram reels.
00:45:39.000 Those are the ones that suck you in.
00:45:41.000 They work with the human mind. 0.93
00:45:43.000 It drives me crazy.
00:45:44.000 Do you get addicted to it?
00:45:45.000 They're so effective.
00:45:46.000 Instagram reels are so effective. 0.89
00:45:48.000 I mean, the food ones for me fucking ruin my day. 0.90
00:45:50.000 Oh, those are good. 1.00
00:45:51.000 It's just some fucking asshole in his car eating like a sandwich. 1.00
00:45:54.000 I'm just watching a dude eat a sandwich. 1.00
00:45:55.000 You break it down and you're like, this is so sad.
00:45:57.000 Sexy.
00:45:57.000 It is sexy.
00:45:59.000 And he rates the sandwich and I'm like, good enough for me.
00:46:02.000 And then they send me 40 more.
00:46:03.000 Everyone's a food critic now.
00:46:05.000 That's fine.
00:46:06.000 Yeah.
00:46:06.000 It's fine.
00:46:07.000 I mean, people will find their way.
00:46:08.000 They find their way.
00:46:09.000 Yeah, but it's just the addictive nature of scrolling.
00:46:12.000 I'm more mad at myself, honestly.
00:46:14.000 I'm more mad that that's my for you page.
00:46:18.000 It's mostly food.
00:46:20.000 Well, I don't think you have to worry.
00:46:22.000 Someone slicing a tomahawk steak, someone eating a sandwich.
00:46:24.000 Those are good things.
00:46:26.000 I love them.
00:46:26.000 Yeah, those are good things.
00:46:27.000 I find a lot.
00:46:28.000 Gary Veder tours with me, and he just sends me food.
00:46:30.000 Whenever we're on the road, he's like, we're eating here.
00:46:31.000 I'm like, whatever.
00:46:32.000 He's more high-maintenance than any woman I've ever dated.
00:46:34.000 He's like, you're taking me here.
00:46:35.000 It's five stars. 1.00
00:46:36.000 You better fucking pay up, bitch. 1.00
00:46:39.000 That's hilarious. 1.00
00:46:40.000 That is a nice thing if you go to good cities, right?
00:46:42.000 You could always eat at nice restaurants on the road.
00:46:44.000 Every city's got a nice restaurant.
00:46:45.000 Sure.
00:46:46.000 I mean, people... 0.99
00:46:47.000 Why don't you fuck around in the Netherlands, in between realms, if you don't go, you know, too far. 0.99
00:46:54.000 It's weird though what cities now, like, every city has this crazy food culture now. 0.99
00:47:00.000 Yup.
00:47:01.000 No matter where you are.
00:47:02.000 I think the internet is partly to blame for that too.
00:47:05.000 I think there's so many YouTube sort of like mini documentaries on chefs and mini documentaries on restaurants that they're opening.
00:47:13.000 There's 9,000 episodes of Chopped.
00:47:15.000 Think about how many chefs there are.
00:47:16.000 That's a lot of chefs. 0.82
00:47:17.000 That's what, four chefs per episode?
00:47:19.000 Well, that you got to give credit to TV, right?
00:47:21.000 Like the Travel Channel and stuff like that?
00:47:23.000 Because those are the first people that like put cooking out there like an art form.
00:47:30.000 With Bourdain's show, that was the first time I ever considered cooking.
00:47:33.000 I was like, oh, it's an art form.
00:47:35.000 You just eat it.
00:47:36.000 I thought of it as just cooking as like carpentry or something like that.
00:47:40.000 You know what I mean?
00:47:41.000 And I related to it as a comic, just a guy wandering and being like, oh, let me make the most of Kalamazoo, Michigan.
00:47:47.000 Instead of eating this vending machine, let me try to find a cool diner or something.
00:47:51.000 Right, right, right.
00:47:53.000 So, those are some of the most satisfying places.
00:47:55.000 You find, like, a cool, old place that's been around forever.
00:47:57.000 You get, like, steak and eggs there. 0.99
00:47:59.000 Nothing gets my dick hard like a boxcar diner, dude. 0.99
00:48:02.000 I get so excited. 0.99
00:48:03.000 We found one in Buffalo, and we ate there.
00:48:05.000 We find a good spot.
00:48:06.000 We eat there three days in a row.
00:48:08.000 I'm obsessed with, like, just a cool diner.
00:48:11.000 Yeah.
00:48:12.000 There was a place called the Star Diner that I used to eat in, I think it was in Mount Vernon, New York.
00:48:17.000 It was so sketchy, this neighborhood.
00:48:19.000 It was so sketchy, but they had cheeseburger deluxes.
00:48:24.000 And the cheeseburger deluxe had, like, coleslaw on it.
00:48:27.000 Ooh. 0.96
00:48:28.000 Yeah, it was ridiculous. 0.94
00:48:29.000 Coleslaw is underrated on a sandwich. 0.82
00:48:31.000 A Reuben is an underrated sandwich.
00:48:33.000 It's 2.30 in the morning, and you're hanging out with men who have just failed miserably.
00:48:39.000 And everyone's eating these disgusting cheeseburgers at 2 o'clock in the morning.
00:48:45.000 There's something so...
00:48:46.000 It was such a vibe.
00:48:47.000 That's like a late night Waffle House anytime.
00:48:49.000 That's a New York vibe, too.
00:48:51.000 Like, those kind of diners.
00:48:53.000 There's something so...
00:48:54.000 There's something about, like, when you're on the road and you're in a sad place that's, like, weirdly romantic to me, too. 0.92
00:48:59.000 Like, Gary and I stayed at a residence inn in Omaha, and it was just U-Haul truck after U-Haul truck of just shit in the parking lot.
00:49:05.000 I'm like, it's us and 40 divorced men here. 0.96
00:49:08.000 There's something so sad about this.
00:49:11.000 Yep.
00:49:12.000 Get out! 0.98
00:49:14.000 Yeah, I love a late night diner.
00:49:16.000 What's your diner order when you go?
00:49:18.000 Well, it depends on if I'm drunk.
00:49:22.000 If I'm drunk, I might go off the rails.
00:49:26.000 But most of the time, I'm pretty disciplined.
00:49:28.000 Most of the time, I'm just eating whatever healthy options they have, like meat or eggs or something like that.
00:49:33.000 Yeah.
00:49:34.000 You know, most of the time.
00:49:35.000 Eggs is, I mean, the obvious move, but a tuna melt at a diner can be so clutch.
00:49:40.000 Ooh, those are so nice.
00:49:42.000 Such a nice invention.
00:49:43.000 How about a tuna patty melt?
00:49:44.000 Yeah.
00:49:45.000 Or like a souvlaki.
00:49:47.000 Oh, a souvlaki.
00:49:48.000 Love a souvlaki.
00:49:49.000 Yeah.
00:49:50.000 A gyro, dude. 1.00
00:49:51.000 A late night gyro.
00:49:53.000 Look at you pronouncing it correctly.
00:49:54.000 I know a lot of Greek people.
00:49:57.000 I don't pronounce it correctly.
00:49:58.000 I know how to pronounce it, but I just forget.
00:50:00.000 If it's done the right way with the best bread.
00:50:03.000 I love it.
00:50:04.000 Yeah, that toasted pita.
00:50:06.000 Yeah, bro.
00:50:07.000 Come on with it.
00:50:09.000 If I had to choose, though, one option for late night, if something's open that's legit, It would be between Mexican and Italian.
00:50:20.000 Yeah?
00:50:21.000 Yeah.
00:50:22.000 You know, if someone tells you, like, there's a place that serves insane lasagna at 2 in the morning.
00:50:30.000 Like, we have to go.
00:50:32.000 We have to go.
00:50:32.000 For me, it's pizza all day.
00:50:33.000 It's like, late night pizza is just so, it's so easy.
00:50:36.000 Especially good pizza.
00:50:38.000 Real good New York pizza.
00:50:39.000 You get a good slice, just a regular cheese and tomato sauce slice.
00:50:46.000 When it's just perfectly seasoned and it's melting in your mouth, the cheese, you're like, oh my god, this is so good.
00:50:53.000 I watched so much of that guy just randomly, uh, Portnoy on Barstool doing those reviews.
00:50:57.000 Oh, he's the best.
00:50:58.000 I just like, I say how much I hate watching these food things, but I fucking can't, I just like the, I like how he likes all the same types, I like like that flop, the, uh, the New Haven pizza's my favorite pizza.
00:51:08.000 It's the best pizza in the world, apparently. 0.58
00:51:10.000 Yeah.
00:51:10.000 According to Portnoy, he knows more than...
00:51:12.000 I told him, I said, you should get 10% of all the profits for pizza.
00:51:16.000 I bet if you had, like, a pizza chart between when Portnoy started doing those reviews to how many people are going and buying pizza now, I bet it's not a small number.
00:51:27.000 I bet he's impacted the pizza world significantly.
00:51:30.000 I'm not bullshitting.
00:51:31.000 He makes me want to buy pizza.
00:51:32.000 Yeah, you watch it and you...
00:51:33.000 He bites the crust, too.
00:51:35.000 Yeah.
00:51:36.000 I was like...
00:51:36.000 I'm like, oh, it looks like he's having a good time.
00:51:39.000 We did, when I was in Chicago with Mateo Lane, he's in Chicago theater one night, did the next night, so I just got in early, we hung out, we made pizza at Lou Malnati's Deep Dish, and they let us in there to just make pizza, and then I was like, all right, now, I don't like Chicago pizza that much.
00:51:53.000 It's like, it tastes good, it's just not my style of pizza.
00:51:56.000 It's like...
00:51:57.000 It's a pie.
00:51:59.000 It's not pizza.
00:52:00.000 So I was like, alright, we'll see if Arturo's in the village.
00:52:04.000 This place is Colin Quinn's stamp of approval, which to me, he's the most New York guy I've ever met.
00:52:09.000 So if Colin Quinn likes your pizza, you're legit.
00:52:12.000 And we made the pizza Arturo's on Houston, one of the best pizza spots.
00:52:16.000 Also the vibe. 0.99
00:52:17.000 There's a fucking piano player just playing in there. 1.00
00:52:20.000 It's so New York, dude. 1.00
00:52:22.000 Yeah, those places are fantastic.
00:52:24.000 I love them.
00:52:25.000 And they make good everything.
00:52:27.000 If you could find a good old Italian hole-in-the-wall spot in New York, like, that's one of the cool things about Mulberry Street.
00:52:36.000 Yes!
00:52:36.000 You know, those places, there's some places down there that have been around forever.
00:52:42.000 Yeah, you'll just Google it and you'll be like, 1909, what the fuck? 1.00
00:52:46.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:52:46.000 Are you kidding me? 1.00
00:52:47.000 Did you ever talk to Fitzsimmons about when he lived there?
00:52:49.000 Not about that, but yeah, I know Greg, I love Greg.
00:52:52.000 Fitzsimmons lived right above the social club where John Gotti used to go. 0.99
00:52:57.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:52:58.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:52:59.000 How about that John Gotti, man? 1.00
00:53:01.000 Fitzsimmons used to live right above, I went to his fucking apartment. 0.96
00:53:06.000 I mean, he was the reason Sparks is popular. 0.98
00:53:09.000 Yes.
00:53:10.000 You feel cool walking in and you're like, this is where the guy got shot.
00:53:14.000 Right there.
00:53:14.000 This is what happened.
00:53:16.000 It's a good restaurant, though, too.
00:53:17.000 Fitzsimmons lives right there.
00:53:18.000 That's the amount of danger we all like, is just to know someone was shot here, and you're like, they're not going to do it again.
00:53:24.000 What are the odds another guy gets whacked here, right?
00:53:26.000 They don't whack each other that often.
00:53:29.000 What year did Gotti get arrested?
00:53:34.000 He got arrested so many times, didn't he?
00:53:36.000 Was it in the 90s?
00:53:37.000 I'm trying to figure out when Fitzsimmons was there.
00:53:39.000 Was he there while the social club was in operation?
00:53:44.000 I know the whole family that owned the building was all, like, go beats the beats.
00:53:49.000 Like, he had, like, deals.
00:53:50.000 We would give the mother some money. 0.87
00:53:53.000 Like, you know, Frankie doesn't have to know about this.
00:53:56.000 This is my gambling money.
00:53:57.000 And, like, she would take that money.
00:53:59.000 Like, they had, like, little deals.
00:54:01.000 Like, they would pay, he would pay, like, the different, the mother and the father separately.
00:54:06.000 December 1990?
00:54:07.000 December 1990. Okay, so that kind of, that must mean he was already in jail by the time Fitzsimmons lived there.
00:54:15.000 Because I think Greg and I, we came to New York around the same time, and that was like, Greg might have been there first, too.
00:54:24.000 I don't know.
00:54:25.000 He was like the media darling.
00:54:28.000 It's so weird to be a murderer and you're on the cover of The Post with a pun.
00:54:32.000 You know?
00:54:33.000 Just like, this guy's fun.
00:54:34.000 Because he kept getting off, right?
00:54:36.000 How many times did he get off?
00:54:37.000 Yeah, they called him Teflon Don.
00:54:39.000 Teflon Don.
00:54:40.000 Yeah.
00:54:42.000 Yeah.
00:54:42.000 That was weird times.
00:54:44.000 Like, you know who the mob boss is and he's wearing a nice suit and he's walking around in front of everybody.
00:54:49.000 It's weird.
00:54:50.000 It's really weird to be a mob celebrity.
00:54:52.000 Yeah.
00:54:53.000 And then people take, like, if he was around now, he'd be like, selfie.
00:54:56.000 But you know what it's like?
00:54:57.000 It's like you're in a race, but your car's not quite strong enough to do that.
00:55:01.000 And then the federal government shuts the race down.
00:55:04.000 Yeah.
00:55:04.000 Whereas if you're in Mexico, you can actually do that.
00:55:09.000 You're in Mexico and you're a cartel leader. 0.91
00:55:11.000 You are a cartel leader. 0.98
00:55:12.000 You're the guy.
00:55:13.000 Like, that's legit.
00:55:14.000 No one's putting you in jail.
00:55:16.000 But it's weird to be able to do that in New York.
00:55:18.000 Uh, yeah.
00:55:20.000 Very weird.
00:55:20.000 But it was also a different time, right?
00:55:23.000 You know, it was a different time. 1.00
00:55:24.000 We glamorized that shit, though. 1.00
00:55:25.000 We all did. 1.00
00:55:25.000 Like, dude, because mob movies are the best movies. 1.00
00:55:28.000 I mean, like, you got Godfather, Goodfellas.
00:55:31.000 Sopranos is one of the best shows of all time.
00:55:32.000 Probably my number one, honestly.
00:55:33.000 God, it's good. 0.99
00:55:34.000 God damn, it's good. 0.99
00:55:35.000 I re-watched an episode the other day. 0.99
00:55:37.000 I'm like, God.
00:55:37.000 It might be one of the funniest shows ever, too.
00:55:40.000 That's how good it is.
00:55:41.000 It's a great show.
00:55:42.000 There's a line in that show where, like, you know, Meadows being a spoiled brat, and they're like, we're gonna ground you, you can't do this, and she just runs away, and Carmella's like, what do we do when we realize that we have no power?
00:55:55.000 It's such an honest, funny line. 0.99
00:55:58.000 I mean, Tony, fuck, and Gandolfini. 0.99
00:56:00.000 We were robbed of so many more good Gandolfini projects. 0.99
00:56:03.000 God, he was good. 0.99
00:56:04.000 He's the fucking best. 0.99
00:56:05.000 He was so good. 0.99
00:56:06.000 He became that guy.
00:56:08.000 He did a lot of different characters in different movies, and he was really good at being a creep.
00:56:13.000 Wasn't he in...
00:56:15.000 What was that?
00:56:17.000 True Romance?
00:56:17.000 True Romance.
00:56:18.000 So scary in that movie.
00:56:20.000 That movie holds up, by the way.
00:56:22.000 I just watched it again recently. 0.99
00:56:23.000 It's fucking great. 0.99
00:56:24.000 Dennis Hopper, dude. 0.99
00:56:26.000 And Walken. 0.99
00:56:27.000 That scene is fucking insane. 0.99
00:56:29.000 That's some classic Tarantino 90s dialogue right there. 1.00
00:56:32.000 That's some good shit. 0.99
00:56:34.000 True Romance. 1.00
00:56:36.000 This is one of the more violent scenes I've ever seen in a movie.
00:56:41.000 I got this in Las Vegas.
00:56:43.000 No matter.
00:56:47.000 Yeah, let's not watch it.
00:56:49.000 But dude, he's in like, Get Shorty.
00:56:51.000 Yep. 1.00
00:56:52.000 He's in so many fucking movies. 0.99
00:56:54.000 But when he became Tony Soprano, he was that guy. 0.99
00:56:58.000 To have an actor that good, playing a mob boss, to the point where you are sympathetic, you're rooting for this murderer.
00:57:08.000 You're rooting for Tony Soprano!
00:57:10.000 They humanized him.
00:57:11.000 I mean, when you show him at a cookout, you're like, I go to cookouts.
00:57:14.000 They made him human.
00:57:17.000 And he was just following the rules of his game.
00:57:20.000 That's the game that he did.
00:57:21.000 And he was the best at it.
00:57:22.000 He just didn't have high enough horsepower.
00:57:24.000 But, again, if he was El Chapo, I guess they got him, too.
00:57:29.000 But we got him.
00:57:30.000 And his wife, too, right?
00:57:31.000 Who took over?
00:57:34.000 That guy doesn't have a name.
00:57:36.000 I don't know.
00:57:36.000 That's a good move.
00:57:37.000 If you're going to be a cartel guy...
00:57:41.000 Reservation tonight for the cartel guy.
00:57:42.000 You don't know his name.
00:57:43.000 You want to be John Doe. 0.72
00:57:44.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:57:45.000 And you want everybody to shut the fuck up. 0.98
00:57:47.000 You don't want anybody... 0.99
00:57:48.000 You're running a cartel, sir.
00:57:49.000 But they would remind you that he was a monster every once in a while. 1.00
00:57:52.000 Like, I mean, he kills his fucking own guy. 1.00
00:57:55.000 He's a monster. 1.00
00:57:56.000 Who killed their own guy? 1.00
00:57:57.000 Tony kills Christopher.
00:58:00.000 They'd hit you with reminders. 0.99
00:58:01.000 The show was so fun that they'd have to hit you with the brutal reminders of Phil Leotardo sodomizing a gay character. 0.97
00:58:10.000 They'd have to hit you with that because you'd be like, Oh, this is funny. 0.94
00:58:14.000 And then you hit that, you'd be like, Jesus.
00:58:16.000 Yeah.
00:58:16.000 There was a lot of Jesus moments in that show.
00:58:18.000 What's really funny is if you watched the first episode of the show, it was almost like satire.
00:58:23.000 Yeah.
00:58:24.000 Did you ever watch it?
00:58:26.000 Incredible pilot.
00:58:26.000 It was very funny, though.
00:58:28.000 It was like a comedy.
00:58:30.000 The car chase thing?
00:58:32.000 When she's got the machine gun.
00:58:34.000 She was outside with the machine gun.
00:58:37.000 I think she thought her kid was sneaking out of the house.
00:58:39.000 Was that Carmella?
00:58:40.000 Yes.
00:58:41.000 Remember?
00:58:42.000 Something happened and she was outside with an AK-47. 0.99
00:58:44.000 You're like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99
00:58:46.000 What is this show? 1.00
00:58:47.000 But she became much more normal.
00:58:51.000 She wasn't like that.
00:58:53.000 It was almost like they were doing a network Sitcom-y version of Mobsters. 0.95
00:58:59.000 Yeah, it was cool to see the show grow, but damn, the first season even goes. 0.94
00:59:04.000 It's like him versus his uncle, Uncle Junior. 0.99
00:59:06.000 I mean, that was a fucking great storyline. 0.99
00:59:08.000 Great storyline. 0.99
00:59:09.000 There's so many great storylines. 0.99
00:59:11.000 I mean, it's just a fucking phenomenal show, man. 0.98
00:59:13.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:59:14.000 Phenomenal show.
00:59:14.000 David Chase, I mean, he created...
00:59:16.000 I think he used to write for, like, Rockford Files, too.
00:59:19.000 It's, like, an interesting career.
00:59:20.000 Everything about that show, even that whole opening montage with the sound, the Woke Up This Morning, Got Yourself A Gun.
00:59:27.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:59:28.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:59:29.000 It was like, you got so pumped for every episode. 1.00
00:59:32.000 Yeah.
00:59:33.000 New Sopranos is on.
00:59:34.000 So exciting.
00:59:35.000 It's tough.
00:59:36.000 That was like, there's so many great shows.
00:59:38.000 It's tough to touch.
00:59:39.000 You know, I mean, that was really like a golden age in TV. Wow.
00:59:43.000 The way, like, the 60s, 70s was a golden age in Hollywood, you know, where, like, you get, like, all those fucking old movies of, like, you know, Bonnie and Clyde starting this off, The Graduate, Chinatown, Godfather, Taxi Driver, like, all these insane apocalypse now, 0.76
00:59:58.000 you know?
00:59:59.000 Yeah.
01:00:01.000 Comedy movies took the biggest hit.
01:00:03.000 Recently, man.
01:00:05.000 Isn't it crazy?
01:00:08.000 Everybody loves them, but now you have to rewatch old ones so people don't get offended.
01:00:13.000 I think it'll come back at some point. 0.99
01:00:14.000 Because I was watching The Hangover on TV the other day, and I was like, people are going to be hungry for this shit. 0.97
01:00:21.000 Well, what's hilarious is The Daily Wire tried to do something, right? 0.99
01:00:24.000 They did something, right?
01:00:25.000 They made a movie, right?
01:00:27.000 They made a movie about transgender athletes and a bunch of men who decide they're going to compete as women.
01:00:33.000 And then after that, there's a new thing that's been happening in Canada where they've got these two teams are playing against each other.
01:00:45.000 And there's five biological males...
01:00:51.000 That are identifying as females and dominating this volleyball game. 1.00
01:00:55.000 And the biological females, all of them, are sitting on deck. 1.00
01:01:00.000 Why these five men...
01:01:02.000 They don't know why they're riding the bench?
01:01:03.000 ...are crushing it.
01:01:04.000 Yeah.
01:01:05.000 There's five of them!
01:01:06.000 Yeah.
01:01:07.000 Like, this is in Canada.
01:01:09.000 Like, that is so insane.
01:01:12.000 You know what the thing is about those movies?
01:01:14.000 I saw the trailer for the Daily Wire thing.
01:01:16.000 I didn't see it.
01:01:16.000 But the thing about those movies is, and I didn't see this one, you got to remember if you're going that irreverent to have the heart of like a Fairleigh Brothers movie.
01:01:24.000 Right.
01:01:24.000 Because like something about Mary is a great movie because like you forget he's stalking this woman because he's so likable.
01:01:31.000 He's stalking Mary.
01:01:32.000 He hires a guy to stalk her. 0.99
01:01:33.000 But in the first scene, she's got a mentally challenged brother and he gets his ass kicked protecting her and you're like, he's a good guy. 0.99
01:01:40.000 So I think, go for the fucking juggler, but make sure that you love the characters. 0.98
01:01:44.000 Yeah, and also, there's not a lot of really good... 0.96
01:01:49.000 How many people are really good at making those kind of movies?
01:01:55.000 You know, there's a few people that, like, excel.
01:01:58.000 Well, Todd Phillips went to serious movies, right?
01:02:00.000 You know, so he was, like, one of the last ones making, like, big hits.
01:02:03.000 But if that genre dries up...
01:02:06.000 Like, that used to be a giant genre.
01:02:08.000 Like...
01:02:09.000 It bums me out, dude.
01:02:10.000 I love comedy movies, but you're right.
01:02:11.000 Like, what do I watch? 0.99
01:02:12.000 I watch fucking Back to School. 0.99
01:02:13.000 I watch like... 1.00
01:02:14.000 Right, yeah.
01:02:15.000 Have you seen Back to School recently?
01:02:16.000 I haven't.
01:02:17.000 Dude, it's every line.
01:02:18.000 Every character there is just there to set up Dangerfield.
01:02:21.000 You know what my favorite part is?
01:02:22.000 The Kinison scene.
01:02:24.000 Dude.
01:02:26.000 It's one of the best scenes ever.
01:02:28.000 Dude, pull that up. 1.00
01:02:29.000 Pull that up. 0.99
01:02:30.000 Will he just fucking... 0.99
01:02:30.000 Rodney? 0.99
01:02:31.000 Kinison and Rodney Dangerfield in the classroom. 0.99
01:02:32.000 This is fucking amazing. 0.99
01:02:34.000 Starting from the beginning. 0.98
01:02:35.000 You know, a lot of Really seems to care about what I have no idea.
01:02:43.000 I love him so...
01:02:44.000 Dude, I remember Whitney is making something about Dangerfield, and I was leaving her podcast with her once, and she was like, do you want to talk to...
01:02:51.000 She knows I love him, so she's like, do you want to talk to his wife on the phone?
01:02:54.000 I was like, yeah.
01:02:55.000 So we call her, and she's like, the nicest woman.
01:02:57.000 She's just like, you know, she's like, I loved him so much.
01:03:00.000 Like, imagine getting to wake up to someone that funny every day.
01:03:03.000 Like, it just made me so happy.
01:03:04.000 That's awesome.
01:03:05.000 And he goes, you want to hear a Rodney joke that no one's ever heard?
01:03:08.000 I was like, yeah.
01:03:09.000 When he went in for some kind of surgery, he was worried he was going to die.
01:03:13.000 He's like, if I can't be funny, it's like, what's the point?
01:03:16.000 He goes in and when they wake him up, they go, Rodney, did you cough anything up? 0.99
01:03:22.000 He goes, yeah, 500 last week to a whore. 0.99
01:03:26.000 Everyone laughs, they're like, oh, he's okay. 0.99
01:03:29.000 Right when he wakes up.
01:03:30.000 Yeah.
01:03:31.000 Wow.
01:03:32.000 Never, I mean, never not funny. 0.99
01:03:34.000 So fucking, you even see episodes, it's funny where he's on like Howard Stern and Stern's trying to like get him to open up and he just keeps doing like one-liners. 0.98
01:03:41.000 It's so funny. 0.99
01:03:42.000 He's like, so you're a child?
01:03:43.000 I was like, oh yeah, I'm a rough child, and I'll tell you.
01:03:45.000 He's like, no, stop with the jokes.
01:03:47.000 I'm trying to connect with you.
01:03:49.000 He couldn't not be that dude. 0.94
01:03:51.000 He was so fucking funny. 0.95
01:03:53.000 He was. 0.97
01:03:54.000 We have his handwritten notes for his last Tonight Show set in the club.
01:03:58.000 If you're in the green room of the club.
01:04:00.000 I can't wait to see the club.
01:04:01.000 Oh, you haven't seen it yet?
01:04:02.000 I haven't been there yet.
01:04:03.000 I tried to come in December, but I couldn't line it up right, and I was like, no.
01:04:07.000 Well, yeah.
01:04:09.000 If you look on the wall in the green room, his wife gave us these handwritten notes from his Tonight Show set.
01:04:15.000 Wow.
01:04:16.000 So it's breaking down his material and then breaking down stuff to talk about on the couch.
01:04:20.000 Oh my god.
01:04:21.000 Yeah.
01:04:21.000 Dude, those old Carson sets where he's just machine gunning jokes?
01:04:24.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:04:24.000 Holy shit. 1.00
01:04:25.000 Well, his story is so interesting too because he quit comedy for a long time and he's selling aluminum siding. 0.99
01:04:30.000 Yeah.
01:04:31.000 And I guess he never stopped writing.
01:04:34.000 I guess he kept writing even when he wasn't doing comedy, and when he came back he had all this material.
01:04:39.000 And he said, that was a famous line, I was the only one who knew I quit, to give you an idea how well I was doing, right?
01:04:44.000 That's the classic.
01:04:45.000 Yeah, but he came back and...
01:04:47.000 Isn't that interesting?
01:04:48.000 I mean, dude, his movies are like...
01:04:51.000 Caddyshack's great.
01:04:53.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
01:04:54.000 Fucking, the one with Pesci, Easy Money. 1.00
01:04:57.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:04:57.000 Hilarious. 1.00
01:04:58.000 Yeah, he had some bangers. 0.99
01:04:59.000 Even Meet Wally Sparks, I know it's like critics shit on the movie. 0.97
01:05:03.000 I love it. 0.97
01:05:03.000 I love the scene where he walks up to a couple on the dance floor and they're making out. 0.97
01:05:07.000 He's like, you two should go get a room.
01:05:08.000 Then he walks up to a fatter couple.
01:05:10.000 He's like, you two should go get a warehouse.
01:05:14.000 That's just like killer joke writing.
01:05:16.000 Right, with that face.
01:05:18.000 He was one of those dudes, like his face was always funny.
01:05:21.000 I loved him.
01:05:22.000 Yeah, he's so good.
01:05:24.000 Just pure funny.
01:05:25.000 There's nothing else.
01:05:27.000 It's just, I'm gonna be funny.
01:05:28.000 And that's another example.
01:05:30.000 You go, he can say whatever he wants, he's like, I'm gonna go help my kid at school.
01:05:34.000 These are good stories, you know? 0.99
01:05:37.000 I mean, Sandler, Billy Madison, going back to school is a funny premise to put a silly guy Around kids, and he's the most immature one. 0.99
01:05:45.000 Yeah. 0.97
01:05:45.000 It's just a great... 0.97
01:05:46.000 It's a great premise.
01:05:48.000 Yeah, it really is.
01:05:51.000 Those movies...
01:05:52.000 Sandler's movies don't get enough respect.
01:05:54.000 By me, they do.
01:05:55.000 I love Sandler. 1.00
01:05:55.000 But it drives me nuts when people shit on those movies. 1.00
01:05:59.000 Because I'm like, what are you expecting this to be? 0.99
01:06:03.000 Yeah.
01:06:03.000 Because this is like a classic, old-timey comedy movie where it's just funny.
01:06:11.000 His style of comedy is weirdly kind of vulnerable. 0.99
01:06:14.000 He's that silly. 1.00
01:06:16.000 You fall on your face doing that shit? 1.00
01:06:18.000 I mean, I did a bunch of road gigs with him. 1.00
01:06:20.000 He is the nicest fucking dude. 0.97
01:06:22.000 He's the nicest guy ever. 0.99
01:06:23.000 I would be more stressed playing basketball with him than I would doing the shows with him.
01:06:27.000 Because I'm like, I just don't want to miss an open jump shot on Sandler's team.
01:06:31.000 He plays really good basketball, right?
01:06:33.000 He's good, yeah.
01:06:34.000 He had hip surgery, but he's still good.
01:06:36.000 That was like a year ago, but he can still play.
01:06:40.000 You mean he got a hip replacement?
01:06:41.000 I forgot.
01:06:42.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:06:44.000 But he'll make the no-look passes.
01:06:47.000 It's fun.
01:06:48.000 Really?
01:06:48.000 He's sick.
01:06:49.000 Oh, wow.
01:06:50.000 But it's funny playing on his team. 1.00
01:06:52.000 You get every fucking call. 0.99
01:06:53.000 I'm used to playing with people, and they're just like, I didn't fucking foul you. 0.99
01:06:56.000 But with Sam, I was like, I must have hit you. 0.95
01:06:59.000 That's hilarious.
01:07:01.000 And who are the guys he's playing?
01:07:02.000 He's got a guy, Joe Vessi, who's really good.
01:07:05.000 Joe can hoop.
01:07:07.000 And then sometimes it's just his circle, but then sometimes you go to the gym and he's just playing with people at the gym.
01:07:12.000 Really?
01:07:13.000 Just random people?
01:07:14.000 Yeah. 0.96
01:07:14.000 That's pretty fucking cool. 0.96
01:07:15.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:07:16.000 He's the fucking man. 1.00
01:07:17.000 He's a very good dude. 1.00
01:07:18.000 Zohan was on TV the other day.
01:07:20.000 That's a great movie. 0.98
01:07:21.000 It's fucking funny, dude. 0.97
01:07:22.000 It's a funny movie, man. 0.99
01:07:24.000 Brushing his teeth with hummus?
01:07:25.000 Uh-huh. 0.99
01:07:25.000 That's fucking hilarious. 0.99
01:07:27.000 There was a lot of funny shit in that movie. 1.00
01:07:29.000 I watched every Adam Sandler movie with my kids when we were locked down for the pandemic. 1.00
01:07:35.000 That was our thing.
01:07:36.000 We would just watch Sandler movies.
01:07:36.000 They're comforting watches.
01:07:37.000 Yeah.
01:07:38.000 They're fun.
01:07:38.000 They're wholesome.
01:07:39.000 When they were nervous about what the fuck is going on in the world. 0.99
01:07:43.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:07:43.000 It's fun. 0.98
01:07:44.000 A lot of entertainment.
01:07:46.000 Yeah.
01:07:46.000 Just disconnect from things.
01:07:48.000 It was nice.
01:07:49.000 You need those escape movies.
01:07:54.000 Look, I want to watch the Oscar movies too, but some of them are like, all right, we get it. 0.69
01:07:59.000 It's fucking like 40 minutes in, nothing's happened.
01:08:02.000 And you're like, can something happen? 0.97
01:08:04.000 It's supposed to be entertaining.
01:08:06.000 Do you watch any of those?
01:08:07.000 I just watched Anatomy of a Fall.
01:08:09.000 I thought that was really good.
01:08:10.000 I don't know if you saw that.
01:08:10.000 What's that?
01:08:11.000 It's a French movie.
01:08:15.000 They're in the Alps, I think, and he falls out a window and dies, her husband, and everyone thinks she killed him.
01:08:20.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:08:21.000 But it's one of those ambiguous movies where you kind of don't know.
01:08:24.000 It's really well done.
01:08:26.000 I watched American Fiction yesterday.
01:08:27.000 I thought that was pretty good.
01:08:29.000 American Fiction?
01:08:29.000 With Jeffrey Wright.
01:08:30.000 You know that guy?
01:08:31.000 No.
01:08:32.000 He's a really good actor.
01:08:33.000 He's almost like black Paul Giamatti. 0.81
01:08:36.000 Oh, really?
01:08:37.000 Yeah, he's like a great character actor.
01:08:39.000 Yeah, this dude.
01:08:40.000 Oh, the guy was in the Westworld.
01:08:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:08:44.000 He's really good in Westworld.
01:08:44.000 Yeah, this is a good movie.
01:08:45.000 It's funny.
01:08:47.000 That guy's been in a bunch of things. 0.99
01:08:48.000 Yeah, he's fucking great. 0.97
01:08:49.000 He's always great. 0.98
01:08:50.000 Yeah, and then The Holdovers with Paul Giamatti was really good, if you haven't seen that. 0.88
01:08:53.000 Westworld was pretty fucking good.
01:08:55.000 I gotta watch it. 0.98
01:08:56.000 That was HBO2, right?
01:08:57.000 Yeah, it got a little violent, and Mrs. Rogan tapped out.
01:09:01.000 So I got kind of left stranded, if she's not into watching.
01:09:06.000 I've been there.
01:09:06.000 So I stopped watching it.
01:09:08.000 But I really did love, I think, the first two seasons.
01:09:11.000 And, you know, as AI moves into our lives, that show doesn't seem...
01:09:17.000 It seems less and less weird.
01:09:20.000 Less and less possible.
01:09:21.000 Like, everything they're talking about doing on that show, I'm like, maybe someday. 0.96
01:09:25.000 Isn't that fucking crazy?
01:09:26.000 Maybe someday they're gonna be able to do that! 0.99
01:09:28.000 It seems pretty, I mean, everything from how they explained how they created this environment that seemed like it was another planet.
01:09:36.000 Yeah.
01:09:36.000 That seemed like it was really the West, but it was really just in this domed environment.
01:09:41.000 Just even things like the Oculus or the new Apple Vision, you're like, what is happening? 0.98
01:09:45.000 Bro, we're gonna be so fucked in about five to ten years. 0.90
01:09:50.000 It's gonna be too late to turn back, and we're gonna be embedded. 0.97
01:09:55.000 There's something gonna happen where you're gonna get an advantage from being connected to a network that you don't get without it that's almost impossible to live without.
01:10:03.000 You mean like Twitter?
01:10:05.000 Like cell phones.
01:10:06.000 Yeah, but everything.
01:10:07.000 There's people that can get by without it.
01:10:09.000 I know some people that have deleted Twitter.
01:10:11.000 They've just said, like, I don't want to do this anymore.
01:10:13.000 I know some people that have, like, kicked it.
01:10:15.000 But they don't kick cell phones. 0.92
01:10:17.000 You can't kick cell phones.
01:10:18.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:10:19.000 Yeah.
01:10:19.000 Yeah, so if it becomes, like, at that stage...
01:10:22.000 But if you're addicted, your cell phone has Twitter. 0.96
01:10:24.000 I mean, unless you want to be one of those people who has, you know, like, a fucking 1999 Razor now, you know? 0.95
01:10:30.000 Well, you can get the... 0.92
01:10:31.000 What is that simple phone?
01:10:33.000 I know a lot of people get that.
01:10:34.000 It's like, um...
01:10:36.000 You can't do anything on it.
01:10:38.000 It'll store music.
01:10:39.000 I think all it does is like text message and make phone calls.
01:10:43.000 I don't even know if you can do email on it.
01:10:45.000 But people need email.
01:10:47.000 I know!
01:10:47.000 Are you going to carry a second device just for email?
01:10:50.000 Like what if you're involved in some sort of a business decision and you need to be on the fly able to respond to an email?
01:10:56.000 You unplug for a few hours and you're like, what did I miss?
01:10:59.000 It's a light phone.
01:11:01.000 Oh, light phone.
01:11:02.000 Is that it?
01:11:02.000 I don't know if this is the only one, but this is a saying right here.
01:11:04.000 Get rid of clickbait, social media, minimal.
01:11:07.000 Yeah, I think this is it.
01:11:08.000 Yep, that's it.
01:11:09.000 It's an experience we all call going light.
01:11:12.000 No email.
01:11:13.000 No internet browser.
01:11:15.000 But it's probably better for you.
01:11:17.000 Definitely.
01:11:18.000 Ari will do that. 0.98
01:11:20.000 He'll get back to me and be like, sorry, I was in fucking... 0.99
01:11:23.000 Thailand. 0.97
01:11:24.000 Yeah, I was in Thailand.
01:11:26.000 Yeah, he'll do it.
01:11:27.000 But he's got an iPhone, too. 1.00
01:11:29.000 He should shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:11:30.000 He gave in. 1.00
01:11:31.000 Everybody gives in.
01:11:32.000 You gotta give in.
01:11:33.000 You gotta give in.
01:11:33.000 It's too good.
01:11:34.000 Also, Also, you miss out on things. 0.98
01:11:38.000 Tom Segura and I, almost every day, send each other the most horrific accidents, disasters, boulders, crashing fucking cars that are on mountain roads. 0.99
01:11:49.000 Everything fucked up we send back and forth to each other. 0.95
01:11:52.000 And if I didn't have the ability to click on the link, I'm missing a little bit of joy in my day. 0.86
01:11:58.000 And your connection to your friends.
01:12:00.000 Yeah, your connection to your friends.
01:12:01.000 The joy is not in watching people get gored by bulls. 0.99
01:12:05.000 The joy is that me and my friend have this unspoken agreement to send each other the worst shit we could find every day. 0.99
01:12:13.000 And find jokes in that. 0.98
01:12:15.000 And that's like, you know, when people say dark jokes and stuff, it's like, no, that's a light joke.
01:12:19.000 You took a dark subject and you're finding light jokes about it, you know?
01:12:22.000 Yeah, you're lightening up the situation slightly.
01:12:25.000 But that's the problem, is like, you're right.
01:12:28.000 You're disconnected on these phones, but then you're also connected.
01:12:32.000 So it's like, now it's kind of a catch-22. 1.00
01:12:35.000 Whichever way you do it, you're a little fucked. 1.00
01:12:38.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
01:12:39.000 Yeah, you're fucked. 1.00
01:12:40.000 You're gonna miss out on things if you're disconnected and if you're too connected, you're gonna be addicted and fucking losing all your life energy and time and attention to nonsense, which is what a lot of people are doing all day long. 1.00
01:12:54.000 You're just scrolling through nonsense. 0.98
01:12:56.000 You just get nonsense in front of your face.
01:12:58.000 It's just there's nothing nourishing about it.
01:13:01.000 Nothing is like exciting your mind. 0.82
01:13:03.000 It's just dumb thing after dumb thing after dumb thing after dumb thing and The thing that doesn't do that is podcasts, which is interesting.
01:13:13.000 It's like the antidote for that. 0.93
01:13:15.000 Or books on tape.
01:13:17.000 Books on tape are great.
01:13:18.000 Fantastic.
01:13:18.000 It's a great thing to do.
01:13:20.000 Think about how much we're on the move.
01:13:21.000 It's great for flights, great for, like, in your car ride where you might get nauseous if you read.
01:13:26.000 But I think about how invasive it's going to be because there's wheelchairs now that can be driven by neurological impulses. 0.99
01:13:32.000 So it's like, okay, that's your fucking thoughts? 0.99
01:13:35.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
01:13:36.000 It can read your thoughts.
01:13:38.000 I have a lot of bad thoughts, Joe.
01:13:41.000 Yeah, I bet you do.
01:13:42.000 I bet you do when you're on those morning shows.
01:13:44.000 Imagine if you could get arrested for your thoughts.
01:13:46.000 Because I think some things that I would never do.
01:13:49.000 You've got to erase your browser mind thoughts, too.
01:13:52.000 Erase your history.
01:13:53.000 Could you imagine if you had an impulse to just smash someone in the face, but you were resisting it?
01:14:00.000 You weren't going to do it.
01:14:00.000 Are you a good person if you're resisting it constantly?
01:14:04.000 It depends on who you're talking to. 1.00
01:14:06.000 If you're the asshole all the time, you're constantly getting in fights with people, it might be you. 1.00
01:14:12.000 We all know that person who's like, this fucking asshole. 1.00
01:14:15.000 I'm like, everyone's an asshole in your stories. 1.00
01:14:17.000 But there's also times when some people need to be smacked. 0.99
01:14:19.000 And in those moments, Like, imagine if you could get arrested because you tested positive for a potential aggressive episode.
01:14:33.000 It's like a COVID test, you get two lines? 0.99
01:14:35.000 You're keeping your shit together, but you're imagining. 0.99
01:14:37.000 You're imagining just teeing off on this guy, just smashing this dude. 1.00
01:14:41.000 He could be a danger.
01:14:42.000 Yeah, like, hey man.
01:14:45.000 Stop doing it. 0.90
01:14:46.000 But if you have that thought, I'm about to smash that guy. 0.71
01:14:49.000 A light goes off, the cops come in, and they arrest you.
01:14:53.000 And they arrest you because you had a potentially violent episode.
01:14:57.000 You hit red line.
01:14:58.000 Your red flag.
01:15:00.000 Sam, this is a serious thing.
01:15:01.000 You went to red line.
01:15:03.000 But I didn't do anything.
01:15:04.000 But you might have.
01:15:05.000 Or they'll tell you you were going to.
01:15:07.000 We know.
01:15:07.000 We have predictive technology here in Westworld.
01:15:11.000 Predictive technology?
01:15:11.000 Oh yeah, that movie Minority Report.
01:15:13.000 Yes!
01:15:14.000 That seemed so impossible.
01:15:17.000 Predicting murders though.
01:15:18.000 Now it's like the World Economic Forum guy was saying that they won't have to have elections in the future.
01:15:24.000 Wow.
01:15:24.000 We will be able to predict with such precision that we don't need elections.
01:15:28.000 Save a lot of money, though.
01:15:29.000 Did you see this story?
01:15:31.000 What?
01:15:32.000 A British man acquitted over London-Spain flight bomb hoax?
01:15:36.000 He texted in Snapchat to his friends, I'm on the way to blow up the plane, I'm a member of the Taliban.
01:15:44.000 Then...
01:15:44.000 Oh, my God.
01:15:45.000 The Spanish... 0.98
01:15:46.000 As a joke?
01:15:48.000 As a joke.
01:15:49.000 He said a joke to his friends.
01:15:50.000 That's a good bit.
01:15:50.000 And the two Spanish F-18s were scrambled to...
01:15:53.000 Look how close the F-18 is to that other jet's wing.
01:15:56.000 Very close.
01:15:56.000 That's insane.
01:15:58.000 He was just acquitted, though, because the judge was like, there's obviously no threat here.
01:16:01.000 But what was curious is how the...
01:16:06.000 That message was found, because Snapchat's supposed to be encrypted, and some people think it's because of the Wi-Fi network at the airport, and the airport says that's not how it was.
01:16:16.000 And then the UK authorities said, where was it right here?
01:16:19.000 So is this evidence of some new technology?
01:16:21.000 I mean, as you guys were saying this stuff, that's why I brought it up.
01:16:24.000 Do you think that's what they're...
01:16:25.000 What are you interpreting this as?
01:16:27.000 They said that they have...
01:16:28.000 There it is.
01:16:28.000 For unknown reasons, it was captured by the security mechanisms of England when the plane was flying over French airspace.
01:16:34.000 Yo! 1.00
01:16:35.000 Wow.
01:16:36.000 Yo, that's crazy.
01:16:39.000 The message was made in a strictly private environment between the accused and his friends with whom he flew through a private group to which only they have access.
01:16:48.000 So the accused could not even remotely assume that the joke he played on his friends could be intercepted or detected by British services, nor by third parties other than his friends who received the message. 0.99
01:17:01.000 See, that's crazy because sometimes you'll say wild shit to your friends in a text message. 0.99
01:17:07.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:17:08.000 For fun, you know?
01:17:09.000 And you're assuming, if I send you an iMessage, you're assuming that that's encrypted. 0.97
01:17:14.000 Yeah, I'm gonna stop telling my friends I'm gonna murder my girlfriend.
01:17:17.000 You have to use Signal. 0.54
01:17:18.000 Gotta be careful.
01:17:19.000 You have to use Signal for that.
01:17:20.000 Today's the day, I'll say that.
01:17:21.000 But I bet if you'd have used Signal, I bet they're looking through Signal, too.
01:17:25.000 I bet there is a scanning that's being done on all cell phone communication looking for key target words that they think would be problematic.
01:17:37.000 Well, think about how much of our freedom we're constantly giving away.
01:17:41.000 When I fly, I don't want to wait on a long line.
01:17:43.000 So I give them my iris, my fingerprint, all that stuff.
01:17:46.000 Now those lines are longer than the other lines.
01:17:50.000 Are they? 0.98
01:17:50.000 Yeah, if I go to LaGuardia, fucking pre-check and clear are the longest lines now. 0.98
01:17:55.000 No shit. 1.00
01:17:55.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:17:56.000 So sometimes you just fuck it and you go through the other one? 1.00
01:17:58.000 Yeah, I take my shoes off again. 1.00
01:17:59.000 I'm going backward, but then there's going to probably be a new line.
01:18:02.000 You've got to give them more. 1.00
01:18:03.000 You dip your balls in the fucking thing. 1.00
01:18:05.000 You've got to give them the outline of your penis. 1.00
01:18:07.000 I gave you my penis. 1.00
01:18:09.000 You've got to let me cut. 1.00
01:18:09.000 Well, you have to have the update and the chip. 1.00
01:18:11.000 Do you have your update?
01:18:12.000 You can fly if you have your update. 1.00
01:18:14.000 Did you update your dick? 1.00
01:18:16.000 We only have your flaccid penis. 1.00
01:18:18.000 We need a hard penis. 1.00
01:18:19.000 If you have the brain chip, we'll let you pass through. 1.00
01:18:21.000 You don't ever have to worry about identification ever again.
01:18:26.000 I thought of a new wrinkle for that.
01:18:27.000 I can let you update right there at the airport with some janky terminal that's probably hacked.
01:18:31.000 Or you could do it at home like everybody else would probably be doing it when you update.
01:18:36.000 Update from a safe place.
01:18:37.000 Update from a safe place.
01:18:39.000 Or you have to do it here.
01:18:39.000 It's like a subway terminal.
01:18:41.000 Yeah.
01:18:42.000 It'll get to the point where you'll just have an account in your head and you won't have to pay for anything with a credit card ever again.
01:18:49.000 It'll all be an account in your head, but only through Central Bank Digital Currency.
01:18:53.000 If you subscribe to Central Bank Digital Currency, we can iron out all the inequality and all the problems of society today.
01:19:02.000 They'll get us.
01:19:03.000 They'll get us.
01:19:04.000 They're going to get us with a chip in our head.
01:19:06.000 It's going to be awesome.
01:19:07.000 That's the problem.
01:19:09.000 You're going to put that chip and you go, God, why was I resisting this? 1.00
01:19:12.000 I was so stupid just 20 minutes ago. 0.99
01:19:14.000 Now I get it. 1.00
01:19:17.000 I mean, if you imagine, like, you can only imagine being as intelligent as you are on your best or worst days.
01:19:23.000 But could you imagine?
01:19:26.000 Being like a caveman, like an Australiapithecus, like the early days, you know, just barbaric life, covered in hair.
01:19:36.000 And then somebody gives you something, just a little shot or something, and all of a sudden you can think like you. 0.99
01:19:43.000 You'd be like, whoa, I didn't realize how fucking dumb I was. 0.87
01:19:47.000 I think we're going to plug in and it's going to be so, whoa, oh my god, this is so much better. 0.98
01:19:54.000 This is so much better.
01:19:56.000 This is so much better than regular brains.
01:19:58.000 We're just going to accept the fact that we have access to information constantly.
01:20:02.000 You're seeing it all in your head.
01:20:04.000 That's just Adderall right now, I think.
01:20:06.000 Well, it's probably going to be better than Adderall.
01:20:08.000 Yeah.
01:20:09.000 It's probably going to be better.
01:20:10.000 If you could have something that stimulates various parts of your brain to produce certain neurochemicals, if that's possible, they're going to be able to do something where people that are paralyzed can use cursors.
01:20:24.000 They can use their brain to figure out how to navigate computers.
01:20:30.000 Yeah, wow.
01:20:31.000 Yeah.
01:20:32.000 But again, it's intrusive, right?
01:20:34.000 I mean, it's your thoughts.
01:20:36.000 Right, but if you're a paralyzed person, it's a really good thing. 1.00
01:20:40.000 It's way better to be able to do that than not.
01:20:42.000 That's true.
01:20:43.000 But once we start doing it, too.
01:20:47.000 Yeah.
01:20:48.000 Sam, I know you're not paralyzed, but let me tell you the benefits of linking up.
01:20:54.000 And you just start talking to your girlfriend.
01:20:56.000 It's going to be like Jehovah's Witnesses. 1.00
01:20:57.000 Thinking about linking up.
01:20:59.000 I mean, my cousin linked up.
01:21:01.000 He's never felt better.
01:21:02.000 You know, he signed a one-year lease.
01:21:04.000 You link up for one year.
01:21:06.000 You can't disconnect or they kill you.
01:21:08.000 It'll be like Ozempic. 0.98
01:21:10.000 You give the linked up people like a year to see how they do.
01:21:12.000 And then you're like, I might link up.
01:21:13.000 No, it'd be like military service.
01:21:16.000 If you're going to link up, you have to link up.
01:21:18.000 You have to commit to one year because you're contributing to the grid.
01:21:21.000 You're contributing to the grid of ideas if you link up.
01:21:23.000 So you have to keep it on for one year.
01:21:25.000 And most people don't take it off.
01:21:26.000 And if you do take it off, the parts where you screw it in, get infected.
01:21:31.000 Yeah, you're going to have to get a re-up.
01:21:32.000 You look weird.
01:21:33.000 You're like one of those weird people that just disconnected.
01:21:36.000 Yeah.
01:21:36.000 We're so close to something like that.
01:21:38.000 This Apple thing that everybody's doing, fucking watching television on a giant movie screen in your house with these goggles on. 0.99
01:21:45.000 It's supposed to be incredible. 0.97
01:21:46.000 Well, the thing is, think about how much of your personal freedom. 0.99
01:21:49.000 Like, we all knew these people that were like, I'm not getting a fucking smartphone. 0.98
01:21:52.000 I want to be off the grid. 0.98
01:21:54.000 And then, as you said, they all have the phone now.
01:21:57.000 Exactly.
01:21:57.000 They all give in.
01:21:58.000 Everybody gave in.
01:21:59.000 Yeah.
01:22:00.000 And by the way, off the grid, a lot of them were comics.
01:22:02.000 I'm like, you're announcing tour dates already.
01:22:04.000 Yeah, what are you talking about?
01:22:04.000 You're on the grid, dude.
01:22:06.000 I bought three chickens.
01:22:09.000 Yeah, the off the grid, off the grid, that's called you're a farmer.
01:22:13.000 Yeah.
01:22:14.000 That's a hard job.
01:22:15.000 Yeah.
01:22:16.000 More than farmers are probably on the grid somewhere.
01:22:18.000 You can't just tour if you're a farmer, man.
01:22:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:22:22.000 Fucking animals are going to die. 1.00
01:22:24.000 You're gonna have to have employees, and you have to have someone to supervise them. 1.00
01:22:28.000 Even the farmers are like, you know, they're on Facebook.
01:22:31.000 Yeah.
01:22:31.000 They're doing something.
01:22:32.000 They're doing something.
01:22:33.000 They're barely paying attention.
01:22:35.000 Yeah.
01:22:36.000 If you really want to be completely self-sufficient, like, wow.
01:22:40.000 The only reason we can do all the things that we do is because so many other people provide you with the stuff that would take up all your time, which is gathering food, eating it.
01:22:52.000 That's like most of what you would be doing, trying to find food, eating it.
01:22:57.000 Yeah, hunting is a sport for people.
01:22:58.000 It's not like a thing that most people do.
01:23:00.000 Exactly.
01:23:01.000 I mean, there's a lot of people who do it by choice, but they definitely don't need to.
01:23:05.000 Most places you can get meat.
01:23:06.000 You can't get that kind of meat.
01:23:08.000 It's not as easy to get that kind of meat.
01:23:10.000 But there's, you know, plenty of other options.
01:23:13.000 You're not gonna starve.
01:23:14.000 The thing is, like, in the real world of that not existing, the food system not existing, You're not going to figure out anything.
01:23:22.000 You're not going to make a car.
01:23:25.000 Get that out of your head.
01:23:26.000 You're not building a sailboat.
01:23:28.000 All you're doing is gathering food, and you're barely adequate.
01:23:32.000 You're going to do it all day long, and you're barely going to figure it out.
01:23:35.000 And you might start eating rodents that you don't want to eat.
01:23:39.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:23:40.000 Yeah.
01:23:40.000 No, I mean, this is...
01:23:41.000 They don't realize it's a full-time job.
01:23:44.000 Full-time.
01:23:44.000 And most people have, like, three jobs, by the way, now.
01:23:47.000 Yep.
01:23:47.000 Teachers are, you know, slowly getting on OnlyFans.
01:23:50.000 You know, everyone's doing their thing to make another...
01:23:53.000 I make handbags on my side, whatever you're doing. 0.98
01:23:56.000 You know, everyone's got, like, four fucking jobs now. 0.98
01:23:58.000 Yeah, the OnlyFans one's a wild one. 0.99
01:24:00.000 Woo! 0.99
01:24:02.000 That's a wild thing, because if I was a 21-year-old girl and just graduated college and I was kind of hot...
01:24:08.000 You know?
01:24:09.000 It's tough.
01:24:09.000 I didn't want to be a waitress.
01:24:11.000 If you look at your fucking salary as a teacher versus like, oh, I just made my whole life this year. 0.99
01:24:19.000 I mean, I'm not the one to judge. 0.99
01:24:22.000 Do whatever you do that makes you happy.
01:24:24.000 But it's just a weird one.
01:24:27.000 But if you're contributing to OnlyFans, make sure you have the money.
01:24:30.000 I have a friend who fucking pays for OnlyFans and he has never seen The Sopranos.
01:24:35.000 If I was a gal, I would be worried about, like, dudes becoming obsessed with you from something like that. 0.96
01:24:40.000 But you get that as a comic, don't you?
01:24:42.000 Yeah, but it's a little bit different.
01:24:43.000 It's a sexual thing.
01:24:44.000 True.
01:24:45.000 You know?
01:24:45.000 And you're more vulnerable.
01:24:47.000 It's definitely different.
01:24:48.000 I mean, it's like...
01:24:50.000 But if you're a female comic, I think they become obsessed with you, too. 0.92
01:24:53.000 Yeah, that could happen, for sure.
01:24:55.000 Oh, definitely, right?
01:24:56.000 Yeah, I mean, Whitney's had a gang of problems.
01:25:00.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
01:25:01.000 An actress, whatever.
01:25:02.000 I mean, musician.
01:25:03.000 Taylor Swift's probably got a shitload of stalking. 1.00
01:25:05.000 Oh my god, of course she does.
01:25:06.000 I mean, you know.
01:25:07.000 She probably has people that think they're married to her. 1.00
01:25:09.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:25:09.000 You know, just real nuts. 0.98
01:25:11.000 Yeah.
01:25:12.000 What's that?
01:25:13.000 I think somebody just got arrested for that.
01:25:15.000 Did he think he was married to her?
01:25:17.000 Those stalkers always think that all of your posts are for them.
01:25:22.000 Yeah.
01:25:22.000 They're like, I see what you're doing.
01:25:24.000 They're schizophrenic. 0.96
01:25:25.000 That's what it is.
01:25:26.000 And they believe they have some sort of a connection with you.
01:25:30.000 You know, a lot of them say that they have a chip in their head.
01:25:32.000 It's a very common thing they say.
01:25:35.000 I've got a chip in my head.
01:25:36.000 Elon Musk talks to me. 1.00
01:25:37.000 Like that kind of shit. 1.00
01:25:38.000 For real. 1.00
01:25:40.000 That's a thing that schizophrenics start believing. 0.97
01:25:42.000 I just read that Elon Musk book.
01:25:44.000 I thought it was pretty interesting.
01:25:45.000 The Walter Isaacson?
01:25:47.000 No, I didn't.
01:25:48.000 It's good.
01:25:49.000 Is it an autobiography?
01:25:51.000 No, it's Walter Isaacson wrote it about about Elon Musk.
01:25:54.000 Oh, it's a biography.
01:25:55.000 Yeah, yeah, but he did like Jobs and Einstein.
01:25:58.000 He did those books.
01:25:59.000 He's a fucking awesome writer, but uh Yeah, I mean I you know him I don't know so I was like that's an interesting window into like who he is and like how how what made him that way I'm always curious to like the origin story of like bullied kid and in Africa like interesting interesting life Yeah, 0.86
01:26:17.000 he's not a normal guy. 0.98
01:26:18.000 He can't be.
01:26:18.000 He's a very, very unusual person.
01:26:20.000 And when you talk to him, you can tell, like, in the back of his brain, his mind is just firing.
01:26:27.000 It's just going all...
01:26:28.000 Like, I asked him, I'm like, what is it like to be you?
01:26:30.000 Like, what is it like to have all these...
01:26:31.000 He's like, you wouldn't want to be me.
01:26:33.000 Yeah, he doesn't seem happy.
01:26:35.000 He didn't even know that it wasn't normal until he was an older kid.
01:26:40.000 And he's like, oh, everybody's not like this? 0.95
01:26:42.000 Where you just got ideas just fucking bouncing around your head like laser beams. 0.94
01:26:46.000 Just constantly going. 0.93
01:26:48.000 I mean, the guy's running three different companies simultaneously, or four different companies simultaneously.
01:26:53.000 Yeah, I think at the time he was doing like five or six, too.
01:26:54.000 It's something crazy.
01:26:55.000 Insane.
01:26:56.000 Insane.
01:26:57.000 It's like, buys Twitter, posts on it all the time, dunks on people, posts memes, you know, gets people mad at him. 1.00
01:27:08.000 Then is also running SpaceX and is also running Tesla and is also running the boring company like what the fuck man? 0.89
01:27:16.000 He it's having similar characteristics of like a degenerate gambler to be that successful in business like that because you have to be willing to go all in all the time Well, he's one of the very few people that's like the head of a business like that. 0.98
01:27:29.000 That's also You know he's of extraordinary Human in terms of like the way his mind functions So it's not a normal person.
01:27:40.000 No way.
01:27:41.000 No, you don't get to that level There's none of those other guys that run a lot of the companies that are run by CEOs You know you remember when that guy was running Microsoft The bomber guy that would jump around and scream.
01:27:53.000 It's one of my all-time favorite videos because it's so insane.
01:27:58.000 It's all Microsoft employees and Steve Ballmer gets out there and he goes nuts.
01:28:04.000 I mean nuts! 1.00
01:28:06.000 Like to the point of almost having a fucking heart attack. 1.00
01:28:10.000 Oh, they're all dancing. 0.99
01:28:11.000 Now he owns the Clippers.
01:28:14.000 This is a different one.
01:28:16.000 This is when they were all just dancing together, which is also hilarious.
01:28:20.000 Who told them that this was okay?
01:28:22.000 Who told them that this was okay?
01:28:24.000 If I was their friends, I would have said, guys, guys, guys, don't do this.
01:28:27.000 The Rolling Stones are like, can you stop using our music?
01:28:29.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:28:30.000 You're on a stage, you're well lit, and you're dancing publicly.
01:28:34.000 You're going to be so awkward.
01:28:36.000 Let's not do this.
01:28:37.000 But a lot of these guys, they were pariahs their entire childhood.
01:28:40.000 So this is like their chance.
01:28:41.000 This is their first set.
01:28:43.000 Put this back to the beginning.
01:28:44.000 Put it back to the beginning.
01:28:46.000 Look at him.
01:28:47.000 Yeah.
01:28:51.000 Look at him.
01:28:56.000 Look at this.
01:28:57.000 This is insanity.
01:29:05.000 This is insane.
01:29:06.000 This is software. 0.95
01:29:09.000 Imagine you're in business with these guys like, oh my god, we're in business with maniacs. 0.91
01:29:14.000 Well, this is either getting you fired the fuck up or you're like, I'm out. 0.97
01:29:19.000 He's laughing though. 0.91
01:29:21.000 But this is where it gets corn.
01:29:23.000 Ready for this?
01:29:24.000 Here we go.
01:29:28.000 I have four words for you.
01:29:31.000 I love this company.
01:29:36.000 Yeah!
01:29:40.000 It's amazing!
01:29:41.000 You don't get to say yeah after your thing though.
01:29:43.000 Hey man, that's the kind of guy I want running my company.
01:29:45.000 He seems like a great owner for the Clippers.
01:29:48.000 He's all in.
01:29:49.000 He's super sweaty.
01:29:50.000 That's what I was saying.
01:29:51.000 I remember this video.
01:29:55.000 He goes nuts.
01:29:57.000 But that's like part of his act. 0.98
01:29:59.000 His act is that he would go nuts.
01:30:02.000 You know, it was fun. 0.99
01:30:03.000 So if you're gonna have to do those kind of things, where you go out in front of all the fucking employees and dance around, why not go nutty? 0.99
01:30:09.000 Why not go nutty? 0.99
01:30:10.000 Then people will talk about it forever.
01:30:12.000 Yeah.
01:30:13.000 Can I do a drink by any chance?
01:30:14.000 Yes!
01:30:15.000 Now's the time!
01:30:16.000 Yeah, now's the time.
01:30:17.000 Now's the time, Sam!
01:30:18.000 Whatever you got.
01:30:19.000 We got whiskey.
01:30:20.000 I'll give you glasses.
01:30:21.000 All right.
01:30:21.000 Yeah, whatever you got.
01:30:22.000 There you go.
01:30:22.000 That's what I wanted to hear.
01:30:25.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of guy you want running your dominating software company that's constantly getting shut down for anti-competitive practices.
01:30:32.000 It's so weird, though.
01:30:33.000 They didn't get sued a bunch of times, right?
01:30:35.000 Didn't they get...
01:30:36.000 What happened with Microsoft?
01:30:38.000 There was a gang of lawsuits when Jamie comes back trying to figure it out.
01:30:43.000 It's a different leadership style than a Musk or a Steve Jobs or a guy who's like...
01:30:48.000 Can you imagine Steve Jobs doing that? 1.00
01:30:52.000 But it's like those dudes are much more like, fuck you, deliver, like, you know, driving you insane. 0.99
01:30:57.000 This dude seems like a more friendly boss. 1.00
01:30:59.000 Yeah, he's having a good time.
01:31:01.000 He's definitely screaming, but it looked like he was smiling. 0.97
01:31:04.000 But like Jobs and Musk, I feel like they will put you to your breaking point doing shit you didn't think you could accomplish. 0.96
01:31:09.000 And you either break or you do something insane. 0.92
01:31:12.000 Yeah, I've heard that about both of them.
01:31:13.000 But I guess, just grab any one.
01:31:15.000 That one's good, Jamie, the one in your right hand.
01:31:17.000 They're both good.
01:31:18.000 Or the Buffalo Trace is good, too.
01:31:19.000 Put that on there.
01:31:19.000 Yeah, whatever you got.
01:31:20.000 Let's go.
01:31:20.000 Let's go.
01:31:21.000 Yeah, that's like, I don't want to do that.
01:31:25.000 I don't want to work like that.
01:31:26.000 If you want to work like that, that's great.
01:31:28.000 You know, maybe I should get a different job.
01:31:32.000 I'm not going to sleep in the office.
01:31:33.000 It's too much.
01:31:34.000 I got kids.
01:31:35.000 I gotta go.
01:31:36.000 Bye.
01:31:37.000 Thank you.
01:31:37.000 Thanks for the job.
01:31:38.000 You know, you should be able to actually have a job and not a life.
01:31:41.000 Cheers, my brother.
01:31:43.000 I don't run a business, though.
01:31:44.000 I mean, I kind of do, but...
01:31:46.000 You have employees?
01:31:47.000 You run a business?
01:31:47.000 I do, but not that way.
01:31:49.000 It's not the same kind of thing.
01:31:50.000 Well, I mean, think of those scenes in Wolf of Wall Street, where he's like, ah!
01:31:55.000 And you're like, all right.
01:31:56.000 I'm not going anywhere!
01:31:57.000 Yeah, good scene. 0.91
01:31:58.000 What a great scene!
01:32:00.000 DiCaprio's an animal.
01:32:02.000 I was on TV the other day. 1.00
01:32:03.000 That's a great fucking movie. 1.00
01:32:04.000 Oh my god, that's a great movie. 1.00
01:32:05.000 That's a fun movie.
01:32:08.000 It's rare for actors to have mystique.
01:32:10.000 He still kind of has some mystique.
01:32:11.000 Oh, he's an animal.
01:32:12.000 He's so good, man.
01:32:13.000 He's so good.
01:32:15.000 In so many movies, too, man.
01:32:16.000 In so many different types of characters. 0.99
01:32:19.000 It's a few of those guys that are just like the last of the real motherfucker movie stars. 1.00
01:32:25.000 Leonardo DiCaprio is a motherfucker of a movie star. 1.00
01:32:28.000 He is. 0.99
01:32:29.000 Like when he's screaming at you and his face is red, you're like, dude.
01:32:33.000 Yeah.
01:32:34.000 He's good, dude.
01:32:35.000 Did you watch Killers of the Flower Moon?
01:32:37.000 I didn't love it.
01:32:37.000 I did not.
01:32:38.000 I didn't love it.
01:32:39.000 I love the book.
01:32:40.000 I think the book is incredible.
01:32:41.000 My issue with the movie is like they focus on the wrong characters. 1.00
01:32:44.000 The guy he's playing, Ernest Burkhart, is a boring fucking idiot. 1.00
01:32:48.000 Like, he should have been playing the, or give Jesse Plemons as the PI a bigger role. 1.00
01:32:54.000 I didn't see it, so I can't comment.
01:32:56.000 What was the premise of the book?
01:32:59.000 I started the book quite a while ago, and I never got into it for whatever reason.
01:33:03.000 Oh, get back to it.
01:33:03.000 You'll love it.
01:33:05.000 It's one of the best, because it's like true crime and history in one.
01:33:08.000 It's kind of incredible.
01:33:09.000 This is what happened, dude.
01:33:10.000 I got really bummed out, because I kind of overdosed on Native American history.
01:33:16.000 Yeah, it was a bummer.
01:33:18.000 First of all, it's an amazing history, and it's fascinating, and I'm really connected to it being here.
01:33:25.000 Because we find arrowheads, like my friend of mine gave me this.
01:33:29.000 And then another friend of mine just gave me four arrowheads from this ranch from Uvalde, Texas.
01:33:35.000 Shout out to them.
01:33:36.000 And these are over a thousand years old, these arrowheads.
01:33:41.000 That's crazy.
01:33:42.000 Yeah.
01:33:42.000 This whole land is all Comanche land.
01:33:47.000 It really is.
01:33:48.000 But these stories are so depressing.
01:33:54.000 They're so heart-wrenching.
01:33:57.000 When you realize that They had been living that way for who knows how many thousands of years.
01:34:02.000 And then over the period, a short amount of time, like a couple hundred years, 90% of them are gone.
01:34:09.000 Yeah.
01:34:09.000 90% of them.
01:34:10.000 Just dropping dead.
01:34:11.000 Just dropping dead from diseases.
01:34:12.000 Yeah.
01:34:13.000 And then everybody else is eventually herded off into camps.
01:34:17.000 And they're put on these reservations.
01:34:19.000 And the... 0.99
01:34:22.000 When you hear the stories of what they did to the kids in the schools, you know, when you hear the stories of the battles and these people just getting wiped out, you're like, holy shit! 0.91
01:34:35.000 Could you imagine living in a place and you've been living off the land in these... 0.98
01:34:40.000 These houses that you make out of animal skins and you travel with your family and you've always traveled like this. 0.99
01:34:46.000 And then all of a sudden these motherfuckers start coming from another country and they don't stop coming. 1.00
01:34:53.000 Like your land got infected. 1.00
01:34:56.000 It got invaded.
01:34:57.000 They landed on the east and just started going across the country.
01:35:03.000 And you just watch your whole life go away.
01:35:05.000 You watch them shoot all the buffalo.
01:35:07.000 You watch them shoot all the buffalo.
01:35:10.000 That was like a hundred years from buffalo everywhere to no buffalo.
01:35:15.000 Yeah.
01:35:15.000 Now it's just buffalo wild wings.
01:35:17.000 It's nothing.
01:35:18.000 They saved him.
01:35:19.000 The Ken Burns documentary is amazing.
01:35:21.000 There's a new Ken Burns documentary on PBS right now about the American buffalo.
01:35:26.000 Yeah, he's great.
01:35:28.000 He's amazing.
01:35:28.000 It's a really good documentary series.
01:35:31.000 I love Scorsese and everyone involved.
01:35:35.000 Also, if you make a three and a half hour movie, dude, you gotta leave with not being like, what else?
01:35:41.000 I can't comment.
01:35:42.000 Like I said, I didn't see it.
01:35:43.000 I love everyone involved, honestly, but it was just like, for me, like, that's a book that they should have...
01:35:48.000 I think he got criticized for saying something like, I was telling it from the white man's perspective, and you're like, well, you are a white guy.
01:35:55.000 Like, that is your perspective, probably, right?
01:35:57.000 Yeah.
01:35:58.000 There's nothing wrong with that, but...
01:36:00.000 Um, I just think he chose the wrong white guy. 0.98
01:36:03.000 Like, the PI, that guy's real life, I forgot his name, you could probably find it, but, uh, I mean, holy shit, this guy, like, he was like, the CIA, uh, fucking J. Edgar, uh, FBI, rather. 0.98
01:36:17.000 J. Edgar Hoover? 0.98
01:36:18.000 Yeah, treated him like shit, because he wasn't like, he wanted the, you know, the vibe to be college boys, like, you know, Harvard educated, and he wasn't that, so he always was like, didn't show him any respect. 0.99
01:36:28.000 Yeah, this is the guy he played. 0.99
01:36:30.000 Tom White.
01:36:31.000 Very interesting guy.
01:36:34.000 Scroll higher.
01:36:36.000 What does the article say?
01:36:38.000 This is just like factor fiction about the movie.
01:36:41.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:36:42.000 The guy Leo played is just like a dumb fuck who kind of went along. 1.00
01:36:45.000 It just was a character I didn't think had a lot of depth. 1.00
01:36:48.000 It's like just spending three and a half hours with a guy who's like going along with murder and is kind of dumb.
01:36:53.000 That's a weird thing they do when they take what is an actual piece of history and have someone play. 0.96
01:36:59.000 Like when Sofia Vergara is playing Griselda Blanco, which is insanity. 0.99
01:37:08.000 Fucking insanity. 0.99
01:37:10.000 Like what? 1.00
01:37:10.000 She's like one of the hottest human beings that's ever lived. 1.00
01:37:13.000 Gotta sell tickets. 0.99
01:37:15.000 She's playing this lady that was a psychopath and a murderer. 1.00
01:37:21.000 They just do things like that in movies. 0.55
01:37:23.000 They'll monkey with the past if they think it's better this way. 0.99
01:37:26.000 Or they ug up a hot guy instead of just getting a fucking weird looking actor. 0.98
01:37:30.000 Yep, they ug up a hot guy. 0.99
01:37:32.000 Or they pretend the guy was hot. 0.53
01:37:34.000 She won an award for being ugly in Monster. 1.00
01:37:36.000 Yeah, but she actually pulled it off.
01:37:38.000 She's great, but it's just funny.
01:37:39.000 Shaved her eyebrows. 0.93
01:37:39.000 But they could have gotten an uglier actress. 0.93
01:37:43.000 That's a good point.
01:37:44.000 Solid point.
01:37:45.000 Hot privilege.
01:37:46.000 Solid point.
01:37:46.000 It's a really solid point.
01:37:47.000 But she also had famous actress privilege. 0.97
01:37:50.000 For sure.
01:37:51.000 And that's right.
01:37:51.000 As I said, you want to sell tickets.
01:37:53.000 Famous actress privilege trumps everything because they sell tickets. 0.99
01:37:57.000 For sure.
01:37:57.000 Yeah.
01:37:59.000 So if she decides to get fat for the movie, give her a shot at it.
01:38:02.000 Come on.
01:38:03.000 You're going to say she can't do it, but Robert De Niro can do it?
01:38:06.000 Yeah.
01:38:06.000 She was so good in that movie, too.
01:38:08.000 And she went back to hot again. 0.61
01:38:10.000 She's hot. 1.00
01:38:10.000 Which is crazy, because how many women out there look like Charlize Theron did in Monster who could actually, with the right diet plan, pull it together? 1.00
01:38:21.000 Start looking like her. 0.52
01:38:23.000 Some people starve.
01:38:24.000 I don't know how Christian Bale just...
01:38:25.000 That can't be healthy, what he does to his body all the time.
01:38:28.000 Well, what he did in that movie, The Machinist, is dangerous.
01:38:31.000 It's dangerous.
01:38:32.000 Yeah.
01:38:33.000 McConaughey did the same thing in Dallas Fire's Club. 0.99
01:38:35.000 But his face looks fucking skinny still. 0.94
01:38:37.000 He was lighter or less weight, I should say, in The Fighter, which was after The Machinist. 0.98
01:38:42.000 The Fighter's good.
01:38:44.000 He got more skinny in that when he played Mickey Ward's brother.
01:38:50.000 I should say it now that it wasn't an official source.
01:38:52.000 Dickie something, right?
01:38:52.000 Yeah, Dickie Betts.
01:38:53.000 It was a meme that showed their weight.
01:38:55.000 Oh, 66 kilograms and that was 55 kilograms.
01:38:59.000 This can't be healthy.
01:39:00.000 No, no, no.
01:39:01.000 It's real bad.
01:39:02.000 It's real bad.
01:39:03.000 It's real dangerous.
01:39:04.000 Super, super dangerous.
01:39:05.000 But De Niro got shredded in Raging Bull and Cape Fear.
01:39:09.000 Shredded is okay, but he's starving to death there.
01:39:12.000 That's why he's so thin.
01:39:14.000 No, no, no, no.
01:39:15.000 It's very, very, very, very, very dangerous.
01:39:17.000 It's dangerous for your heart.
01:39:18.000 It's dangerous for your organs.
01:39:19.000 It's dangerous for your kidneys.
01:39:21.000 It's dangerous for everything.
01:39:22.000 It's very, very, very, very dangerous to do that.
01:39:26.000 And so unnecessary for a movie that was mid...
01:39:29.000 That movie was just not that good.
01:39:31.000 You know, that movie wasn't Ex Machina.
01:39:33.000 I didn't even see it.
01:39:33.000 Ex Machina is sick.
01:39:34.000 Woo! 0.99
01:39:35.000 It's a sick movie.
01:39:35.000 Talking about AI. But you know what I'm saying?
01:39:36.000 If you get skinny for that because she left you in that box with nothing but water and they come back and they're like, you know, remember at the end of the movie when he gets, spoiler alert, when he gets stuck in there and she just walks away? 0.83
01:39:48.000 Killer.
01:39:48.000 Bro, how far away are we from that?
01:39:51.000 Yeah.
01:39:52.000 She was a pretty hot robot. 1.00
01:39:53.000 Oh, she was so hot. 1.00
01:39:54.000 Do you think you would ever fuck a robot? 1.00
01:39:55.000 100%. 1.00
01:39:56.000 Yeah, me too.
01:39:56.000 It was her.
01:39:58.000 If she was talking to me like that, I'd give her a go. 0.99
01:40:01.000 I'd see what it is.
01:40:03.000 You know, especially if I'm some scientist dork on an island somewhere, and there's a hot robot that I'm supposed to interact with, and she knows how to press my buttons. 1.00
01:40:11.000 I'm working on a bit on stage, which is like, we're gonna fuck robots, but I think it's gonna be like a cell phone. 0.98
01:40:16.000 Everyone's gonna need a robot. 0.99
01:40:18.000 But if you're poor, you're gonna have a lower level motto. 0.99
01:40:21.000 Maybe while you're fucking it, you get ads. 0.99
01:40:23.000 You know what it's gonna be like. 0.99
01:40:24.000 Yeah.
01:40:25.000 It's gonna be like robot women are real women. 1.00
01:40:28.000 That's what it's gonna be like.
01:40:29.000 That's what it's gonna be like.
01:40:31.000 Wow.
01:40:31.000 That's what's gonna happen.
01:40:32.000 Holy shit. 1.00
01:40:32.000 Robot women are real women. 1.00
01:40:34.000 That's what it's gonna be like. 1.00
01:40:35.000 And these fucking sociopaths with batteries in them. 1.00
01:40:39.000 I'm gonna just start running shit. 1.00
01:40:41.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:40:41.000 They have no fear. 1.00
01:40:42.000 She's a hot robot. 1.00
01:40:43.000 She's so hot, dude. 1.00
01:40:45.000 And once they put the skin on her and, you know, she looks normal.
01:40:50.000 The movie was so good!
01:40:51.000 Yeah, it was good, man.
01:40:52.000 One of my all-time favorites.
01:40:53.000 I've watched that so many times on planes, when I'm going through my laptop, I'm like, what do I got on here?
01:40:58.000 I like a good psychological thriller with three characters, so it's almost more like a play. 0.98
01:41:03.000 It's all dialogue heavy and just fucking... 0.99
01:41:05.000 That could have been a play. 0.99
01:41:06.000 Yeah.
01:41:07.000 And it's so fascinating watching this kid trying to work all this out.
01:41:11.000 Work out that he got this opportunity.
01:41:14.000 Work out that he's there.
01:41:15.000 Who's the actor?
01:41:17.000 Dom Hall Gleason.
01:41:18.000 Isn't that him?
01:41:19.000 Perfectly awkward.
01:41:20.000 Everything about him.
01:41:22.000 His origin story.
01:41:24.000 Everything.
01:41:24.000 Perfectly vulnerable.
01:41:27.000 And when he gets stuck at the end of the movie.
01:41:32.000 That's real.
01:41:34.000 Because you kind of know it's coming, but you also kind of want to believe a little bit.
01:41:39.000 Just because a baby deer is cute doesn't mean the mountain lion won't get it.
01:41:46.000 That's the problem.
01:41:48.000 We think he's a good guy.
01:41:50.000 He's a good guy.
01:41:50.000 He's doing the right thing.
01:41:53.000 Him banging on the glass and you don't hear a sound.
01:41:56.000 You're like, Yeah. 0.98
01:41:59.000 You're gonna die in there. 1.00
01:42:00.000 A24 makes a lot of cool shit. 1.00
01:42:02.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:42:03.000 Just banging on it and knowing you ain't putting a fucking dent in it. 0.99
01:42:07.000 You are going nowhere. 0.99
01:42:10.000 Forever.
01:42:12.000 It's, I like... 0.67
01:42:14.000 When she just shoves a knife in him. 1.00
01:42:16.000 I love un-Hollywood endings, dude.
01:42:18.000 I love when they don't give the...
01:42:21.000 And a lot of those movies bomb because people want a happy ending. 0.96
01:42:24.000 Like, I think one of Woody Allen's best movies ever is Purple Rose of Cairo, and it's a fucking downer of an ending. 0.94
01:42:30.000 And I think that's probably why it's one of his biggest bombs. 0.74
01:42:33.000 You know what it's gonna be like?
01:42:34.000 You can have a robot, and you can have a robot for a wife. 0.97
01:42:38.000 But that robot for a wife, if she catches you doing anything, if you do anything that's illegal, you get a red light code and she detains you. 0.99
01:42:49.000 Because your robot wife is stronger than you. 1.00
01:42:51.000 And you can fuck this really hot robot wife and she looks like just a really hot woman. 1.00
01:42:56.000 We're all gonna be subs? 1.00
01:42:57.000 Super sexy. 1.00
01:42:58.000 But what she really is, is a murderous robot, capable of pulling your fucking head right off your body. 1.00
01:43:04.000 How far are we from robot wars then? 1.00
01:43:06.000 Like we'll have American robots versus Russian robots.
01:43:09.000 What are you doing with drones?
01:43:09.000 That's true.
01:43:10.000 What is a missile?
01:43:12.000 That's a good point.
01:43:12.000 What's a guided missile?
01:43:13.000 It's kind of a robot.
01:43:15.000 What's those supersonic guided missiles? 0.98
01:43:16.000 But drone veterans are fucking not as cool as actual on-the-ground war veterans. 0.97
01:43:20.000 No, they're definitely not. 0.98
01:43:21.000 But do you know that they suffer from a very specific type of PTSD? They probably should.
01:43:26.000 They're killing people. 1.00
01:43:27.000 Yeah.
01:43:27.000 Yeah, and imagine watching that on a screen.
01:43:29.000 But your scars are not from being on the battlefield, they're from tripping over like a fucking router or something, you know? 0.97
01:43:34.000 It's a different type of PTSD. It's definitely a different type of PTSD, but apparently they're haunted. 0.97
01:43:40.000 They're haunted.
01:43:41.000 I'm sure.
01:43:43.000 You're playing God. 0.99
01:43:45.000 You're killing people. 0.95
01:43:46.000 And you're doing it a weird way, where you're watching a screen. 0.94
01:43:50.000 So you're kind of like it's familiar.
01:43:52.000 It's like a video game.
01:43:53.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:43:53.000 And you gotta imagine if you see those kids that are like really good at World of Warcraft and all that shit. 0.99
01:43:58.000 I'm just thinking Call of Duty.
01:43:59.000 Call of Duty.
01:44:00.000 Yeah.
01:44:00.000 Quake.
01:44:01.000 Any of those games that require fast twitch. 0.99
01:44:03.000 If you give them a responsive enough interface and some sort of insane weapon, they could do fucking damage. 0.97
01:44:11.000 You get like a really good video game player. 0.99
01:44:13.000 Isn't that funny?
01:44:13.000 That's who they're gonna recruit for the next war.
01:44:16.000 100%.
01:44:16.000 Not your strongest, but your quickest fingers.
01:44:18.000 No.
01:44:19.000 Think about it, man.
01:44:20.000 I mean, if you're watching like a really... 0.97
01:44:21.000 There's some games that are like, I don't know how to play StarCraft, but I guess it's more like strategy and moving things around.
01:44:27.000 It's not fast twitch, but there's a lot of these games like the third-person shooter or first-person shooters.
01:44:33.000 Halo.
01:44:33.000 Yeah, Halo.
01:44:35.000 Unreal's another one, Quake, where you're moving fast, you're gunning things down.
01:44:40.000 It's like, if you can get a person who is elite at that, where they just wipe out...
01:44:46.000 There's certain guys, they'll have these death matches, and there's certain guys that will literally wipe out 60% of the other team. 0.97
01:44:54.000 They're just so good at fucking people up. 0.98
01:44:56.000 They're so good at it. 1.00
01:44:57.000 If you could get that guy to somehow or another pilot a drone, and if it's that responsive that it allows him to instantaneously move the thing and it's shooting real guns, he'll fucking kill everybody! 1.00
01:45:09.000 He'll fucking kill everybody! 1.00
01:45:10.000 It'll be insane! 1.00
01:45:11.000 Instead of like an incel, now you're like a war hero?
01:45:13.000 Right.
01:45:14.000 Think about those Quake characters.
01:45:16.000 Jamie, pull up Quake Arena.
01:45:18.000 What's the newest one?
01:45:20.000 What is the newest one?
01:45:20.000 The one that we all got addicted to again?
01:45:22.000 Champions.
01:45:23.000 If you're actually doing this in the real world, now imagine you're attached to some sort of a machine, you're using all of these remote controls that you would use on an Xbox, you're totally familiar with it,
01:45:39.000 so it's totally tuned to your need. 0.98
01:45:41.000 On the other end of it, there's a fucking robot with chain guns running into a military complex and gunning people down. 0.99
01:45:54.000 And you're controlling this thing while it's getting dinged up. 1.00
01:45:57.000 You're in another place.
01:45:59.000 This thing can fly.
01:46:00.000 It shoots through the air.
01:46:01.000 And you just try it on people in Yemen.
01:46:04.000 Just try it. 1.00
01:46:05.000 And you have this fucking guy. 1.00
01:46:07.000 A guy who can do this. 1.00
01:46:08.000 Like, watch this game.
01:46:10.000 Imagine if you can move a thing that moves like this and has this kind of weaponry.
01:46:14.000 We can switch it back and forth between different weapons.
01:46:17.000 I mean, this is making me dizzy how good this guy is.
01:46:19.000 Look how good this guy is. 1.00
01:46:21.000 Just fuck that dude up. 1.00
01:46:22.000 You're dead, bitch. 1.00
01:46:23.000 You're dead, bitch, too. 1.00
01:46:25.000 You're dead, bitch. 1.00
01:46:25.000 This wouldn't be a waste of time. 1.00
01:46:27.000 This would be training.
01:46:29.000 100%.
01:46:29.000 I think about it all the time about how this is different.
01:46:33.000 It's like lasers and shit, but I think some of the war games, GTA, they're fun as hell, but what do you do when you play GTA? I have friends that are just murdering random people on the sidewalk. 0.98
01:46:43.000 At a certain point, this is not great for your brain.
01:46:46.000 It's not great for your brain, but it's no different than golf.
01:46:52.000 It's a thing that people get really good at and super hyper-competitive at.
01:46:56.000 It's no different than any of those other things.
01:46:59.000 It's in between golf and porn.
01:47:01.000 Because you watch porn for two minutes, you're like, I don't feel great about myself.
01:47:06.000 It's not real, but you're simulating something in your head real. 0.75
01:47:09.000 But is that our head?
01:47:11.000 There is that, for sure.
01:47:12.000 But if something like that is really valuable, like if you're making a lot of money doing that, what is like the most money?
01:47:19.000 A Twitch streamer or something?
01:47:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:47:20.000 Some of them are like rich.
01:47:21.000 They make a lot of money, right?
01:47:22.000 Yeah.
01:47:22.000 Like millions, right?
01:47:24.000 So who could argue against that? 0.99
01:47:26.000 Like, Billy, you need to get your law degree so that you can be a partner and you can fucking work weekends and 17-hour days and make a small fraction of what you would do with a blue wig on and fucking the Terminator sunglasses. 0.99
01:47:45.000 Screaming at people on the internet. 0.99
01:47:46.000 Is it any different than being a comedian?
01:47:48.000 It's not much different, man.
01:47:49.000 Because you're kind of like, well, this is not a real job in my mind. 0.80
01:47:53.000 But if you're in the top 1%, yeah, you could do pretty fucking well.
01:47:56.000 Man's worst enemy.
01:47:57.000 Killer robot dogs that are controlled by soldiers' minds are trialed by Australian Army.
01:48:03.000 See what I'm saying?
01:48:04.000 Yeah.
01:48:04.000 I'm telling you, that quake thing, we're not far away from that.
01:48:09.000 Yeah, it's all...
01:48:09.000 Oh, look at that thing, too.
01:48:10.000 But if you can make millions of dollars playing Quake, why wouldn't you just play Quake?
01:48:15.000 Exactly.
01:48:15.000 It's like we think of it as bad because it used to be bad.
01:48:18.000 We've got to get over that idea.
01:48:20.000 Same goes for OnlyFans. 1.00
01:48:21.000 It's your fucking body, right? 1.00
01:48:22.000 Yeah, well, listen. 1.00
01:48:23.000 I'm a fan of people doing whatever the fuck they want. 0.94
01:48:26.000 And I think there's a lot of pressure from people shaming people and people getting upset at other people's choices. 0.98
01:48:33.000 Worry about yourself.
01:48:35.000 Be way better off.
01:48:36.000 You should worry about yourself, you know?
01:48:38.000 A lot of times it is your own issues with that, right?
01:48:41.000 Like, for me, like, you know, I don't think everyone should go to therapy, but I think some people could benefit from talking out loud and looking at themselves, you know?
01:48:52.000 What do you mean by that?
01:48:54.000 I think people who are judging other people's lives.
01:48:56.000 Oh, okay.
01:48:57.000 What do you mean, what do I mean by that? 0.99
01:48:58.000 I'm just fucking around. 0.98
01:48:59.000 Oh, I thought you were talking about it. 1.00
01:49:00.000 Just fucking around. 1.00
01:49:01.000 No. 1.00
01:49:02.000 Yeah, no, for sure.
01:49:03.000 It's just... 1.00
01:49:04.000 I just think sometimes if you're really mad about something that doesn't affect you in any way, that's probably your shit. 1.00
01:49:10.000 It's 100% your shit. 1.00
01:49:11.000 Because you're wasting time. 1.00
01:49:13.000 Yeah.
01:49:13.000 Like, don't worry about that.
01:49:14.000 There's types of really religious people who are into charity and love and not judging people.
01:49:19.000 And there's people who are really religious who are like, you're going to hell.
01:49:22.000 Yep, yep.
01:49:23.000 It's like there's good cops and bad cops.
01:49:24.000 Yeah.
01:49:25.000 Yeah.
01:49:25.000 It's really the same thing.
01:49:26.000 It's just human beings at all levels.
01:49:28.000 There's just such a variety of people, and we lump them all into the same thing.
01:49:32.000 That's why it gets so offensive when someone just wants to single out one specific swath of people that's responsible for everything.
01:49:43.000 Like, no, we're still individuals, man.
01:49:44.000 Yeah.
01:49:45.000 We still have to be individuals.
01:49:46.000 This idea that everybody has to pretend that they're on a special team that's opposed to the opposite gender or the opposite sexual orientation. 1.00
01:49:56.000 Like, shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:49:58.000 That's so fake. 1.00
01:49:59.000 And it doesn't really affect you.
01:50:00.000 And you know where you know it's fake?
01:50:02.000 Where?
01:50:02.000 The comedy world.
01:50:03.000 What do you mean? 0.99
01:50:04.000 Because in the comedy world, no one gives a fuck what you do. 0.96
01:50:08.000 You just have to be funny. 0.97
01:50:09.000 Well, if you care about comedy, funny is your language.
01:50:12.000 It's all that we care about.
01:50:14.000 I love Tim Dillon to death.
01:50:16.000 The fact that he's a gay man, first of all, I don't believe it. 1.00
01:50:22.000 I think it's a scam. 0.97
01:50:23.000 I've never seen him have sex with guys. 0.99
01:50:25.000 I've never heard a gay guy with that voice. 0.93
01:50:28.000 He's one of the funniest human beings that's ever lived.
01:50:30.000 That's what's important. 0.99
01:50:31.000 No one gives a shit if he's gay. 1.00
01:50:32.000 Like, no one gives a fuck. 1.00
01:50:34.000 No one gives a fuck if you're trans if you're funny. 1.00
01:50:36.000 No one gives a fuck if you're Asian, if you're Bobby Lee. 1.00
01:50:39.000 No one cares. 0.98
01:50:39.000 All they care is, are you cool to be around? 0.98
01:50:42.000 Are you funny?
01:50:42.000 First two I was cool with.
01:50:43.000 Asians is a bridge too far, I think. 1.00
01:50:46.000 No, he's...
01:50:47.000 I'm with you.
01:50:48.000 Like, we don't care.
01:50:49.000 Comedy is a weirdly accepting place.
01:50:51.000 That's why it's funny that we get considered like, you know, they're like, this is a dudes club.
01:50:56.000 Like, no, we want to be around funny if you care about comedy.
01:50:59.000 It's just harder for women. 1.00
01:51:01.000 Because of the road.
01:51:02.000 That's why it's harder for women. 1.00
01:51:03.000 The road's dangerous.
01:51:04.000 The road is dangerous.
01:51:05.000 It's creepy. 1.00
01:51:05.000 Especially when you're starting out and you have to stay in a comedy condo and shit. 1.00
01:51:09.000 100%. 0.99
01:51:10.000 That is where women really have it harder, I think. 1.00
01:51:13.000 Well, that's one aspect of it, but also even just the act of stand-up.
01:51:17.000 When you're going on stage and you're a woman and you're starting to talk about politics, you're going to get a certain percentage of the guys in the audience like...
01:51:25.000 That guy that was doing this with you, he was doing that because of a woman, right? 0.56
01:51:30.000 Do you know how bad it would be if an actual woman was on stage and the girl wants to be there? 1.00
01:51:40.000 Like, come on, she's really funny.
01:51:42.000 Let's go see her.
01:51:43.000 You'll laugh at a woman. 1.00
01:51:44.000 Women are capable of being funny, Greg. 1.00
01:51:47.000 And then Greg gets a little drunk.
01:51:49.000 He's like, boo!
01:51:51.000 You know, and now you're intimidated. 1.00
01:51:51.000 You said a boo, they're yelling, show your tits. 1.00
01:51:53.000 It's worse. 1.00
01:51:54.000 Yeah, it could be show your tits. 1.00
01:51:56.000 It's worse. 1.00
01:51:56.000 It could be a lot worse. 1.00
01:51:58.000 And it's also, it's like, so there's a certain amount of men that are going to be prejudiced about what you talk about.
01:52:04.000 Like, you're not allowed to talk about politics. 0.99
01:52:06.000 Don't fucking tell me who the fucking real president is. 0.99
01:52:09.000 Don't do that with any comic. 1.00
01:52:10.000 But I think with women, they get... 1.00
01:52:11.000 We're unfairly condemned for sex jokes. 0.97
01:52:14.000 Sex jokes. 1.00
01:52:14.000 Because you're a slut. 1.00
01:52:15.000 Oh, look at her. 1.00
01:52:16.000 She's a slut. 1.00
01:52:16.000 No, a lot of jokes are about sex. 1.00
01:52:19.000 Sex is the way they use violence in a movie because it's extreme.
01:52:23.000 We use sex as a punchline sometimes.
01:52:25.000 Also, when a woman tells a joke about sex, if a guy in the audience is like, yeah, yeah. 0.93
01:52:32.000 He got horny from the joke? 0.69
01:52:33.000 Yeah. 0.64
01:52:34.000 No, you're right.
01:52:35.000 Right?
01:52:35.000 That's creepy.
01:52:36.000 That's possible. 1.00
01:52:36.000 If a man is on stage and he tells a sex joke and a woman goes, yeah, look at this crazy bitch. 1.00
01:52:42.000 I love it. 1.00
01:52:43.000 Like immediately he got to defuse it.
01:52:44.000 It's not a threat.
01:52:46.000 Exactly.
01:52:46.000 So it's a completely different dynamic.
01:52:48.000 So that part is more dangerous.
01:52:50.000 It's more dangerous to be sexual.
01:52:51.000 It's more dangerous to be vulnerable.
01:52:53.000 Late nights walking home in a random city.
01:52:55.000 I mean, I was attacked on the road once.
01:52:58.000 I can't think like...
01:52:59.000 How'd you get attacked?
01:53:00.000 I was at a bar right after the gig in Vermont and some guy walked up to me and he goes, uh...
01:53:05.000 He goes, uh, University of Vermont?
01:53:07.000 And I was like, uh, no.
01:53:08.000 And he goes, Master's degree?
01:53:09.000 And I said, uh, you're getting colder. 0.98
01:53:11.000 And he just looked at me and he goes, I'm going to beat the shit out of all of you, me and like three people I was with. 0.98
01:53:16.000 And I just kind of like shrugged it off. 0.98
01:53:18.000 I'm like, he's drunk.
01:53:18.000 I'm ignoring him.
01:53:19.000 So I turned around.
01:53:20.000 He takes a pint glass and smashes it over my head.
01:53:22.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:53:24.000 And he ends up running out.
01:53:26.000 The cops, they called the cops on him.
01:53:28.000 I was all right.
01:53:29.000 Honestly, this sounds ridiculous, but I had a Jufro at the time and it did provide some support for my head.
01:53:34.000 It really did help.
01:53:36.000 And he runs for it.
01:53:37.000 The cops get him.
01:53:38.000 He went for one of the cops' guns.
01:53:40.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:53:41.000 But he was in a blackout.
01:53:43.000 Did they shoot him?
01:53:44.000 No, no, they didn't.
01:53:47.000 Were you upset about that?
01:53:48.000 No, I didn't want him to die.
01:53:49.000 What were you rooting for?
01:53:50.000 A wound?
01:53:51.000 A foot wound?
01:53:52.000 A little police brutality I would have been okay with.
01:53:56.000 Just above the knee?
01:53:57.000 Bang! 1.00
01:53:59.000 Ahhhh! 0.99
01:54:00.000 They arrest him.
01:54:01.000 I get a call.
01:54:02.000 They're like, hey, we're like with the victim's advocate or whatever from Vermont.
01:54:07.000 And they said, yeah, that was a therapist.
01:54:10.000 He was in a blackout.
01:54:11.000 He's going through a divorce.
01:54:12.000 The therapist?
01:54:13.000 Yeah, the guy who hit me was a therapist. 1.00
01:54:16.000 A lot of therapists are fucking insane. 1.00
01:54:18.000 I used to date a therapist. 1.00
01:54:19.000 She was removed from my show earlier this year.
01:54:23.000 A lot of them are a little cuckoo.
01:54:26.000 Well, that's like L. Ron Hubbard.
01:54:28.000 He was trying to self-diagnose.
01:54:30.000 Well, it always starts good with these guys.
01:54:32.000 Same with Jim Jones.
01:54:33.000 They always start nice. 0.99
01:54:35.000 And then it ends up in a place where you believe the fucking, for lack of a better word, you drink your own Kool-Aid, right? 0.99
01:54:40.000 Exactly. 1.00
01:54:41.000 I mean, Elrond Hubbard, Jim Jones, anyone you want to fuck. 1.00
01:54:44.000 A lot of crazy people are very intense. 0.99
01:54:46.000 Ted Bundy, I mean, not Ted Bundy, Kaczynski, very smart guy.
01:54:50.000 Oh yeah, he was really smart. 0.96
01:54:51.000 And Ted Bundy was probably pretty fucking smart too. 0.97
01:54:54.000 Yeah, in a creepy way. 1.00
01:54:55.000 Creepy as fuck. 1.00
01:54:55.000 Just because you're smart doesn't mean you're nice. 1.00
01:54:57.000 Of course not. 0.99
01:54:58.000 You could be a real monster. 0.99
01:54:59.000 Totally. 0.99
01:55:00.000 You could be super intelligent. 1.00
01:55:01.000 But, like, a lot of therapists, just because, like, you're a therapist, doesn't mean you're not fucking insane. 1.00
01:55:06.000 Right, you could be insane. 0.98
01:55:07.000 So they ask me if I want to fly back. 1.00
01:55:08.000 And the whole reason why you got involved in it could be because you're insane. 0.89
01:55:11.000 And you want to read people. 0.90
01:55:12.000 Yeah.
01:55:13.000 And you can read people well, and you can manipulate people.
01:55:16.000 There's a therapist that convinced her patient to kill her ex. 0.97
01:55:21.000 She convinced her patient to kill her ex.
01:55:25.000 That's a great movie premise.
01:55:26.000 No, but it's real.
01:55:27.000 See if you can find that story, Jamie.
01:55:28.000 I know I saved it.
01:55:29.000 I can find it if you can't.
01:55:30.000 But this therapist talked this guy.
01:55:33.000 She talked this guy into killing her ex. 1.00
01:55:35.000 That's fucked up. 1.00
01:55:39.000 He was telling her his stories. 1.00
01:55:41.000 He was telling her his stories and she was telling him she loved him and, you know, something happened.
01:55:47.000 Something kind of hot about that, though. 0.99
01:55:48.000 Something fucking hot as shit. 0.99
01:55:49.000 Look, everybody dies. 1.00
01:55:50.000 Female therapists can be really hot. 1.00
01:55:52.000 Counselor attempts to enlist patient in her plot to have her ex-husband murdered. 0.92
01:55:57.000 Cynthia Guy.
01:55:58.000 Wait a minute.
01:55:58.000 Is that her?
01:55:59.000 Is that Cynthia? 1.00
01:56:00.000 The nerve of these people charging 250 an hour and then trying to get you involved in this shit. 0.99
01:56:06.000 Cynthia Guy wanted her ex-husband dead, but her patient teamed with investigators to take her down. 1.00
01:56:11.000 Oh, the patient's a snitch. 1.00
01:56:12.000 That's why you don't get any good crazy pussy. 1.00
01:56:15.000 Shit. 1.00
01:56:16.000 This is season six of Fargo right here. 1.00
01:56:18.000 A deal is a deal, dude.
01:56:19.000 A deal is a deal. 0.99
01:56:21.000 You know, you shoot my ex. 0.86
01:56:22.000 I was like, God, come on. 0.72
01:56:26.000 You should have taken it.
01:56:27.000 What are you gonna do, dude? 0.99
01:56:28.000 The rest of your life, you gotta go, what would have happened if I shot that guy? 1.00
01:56:31.000 There's something hot about fucking the therapist, though. 1.00
01:56:33.000 It's like fucking the teacher. 1.00
01:56:34.000 It's like they're in a position of power over you. 1.00
01:56:37.000 Most porn is fucking people you shouldn't be fucking. 1.00
01:56:39.000 There's a real power struggle. 1.00
01:56:41.000 It's like, when do we get to fuck? 1.00
01:56:42.000 Before I kill your ex? 1.00
01:56:43.000 Or after? 0.99
01:56:44.000 I'd like one for the road.
01:56:46.000 I need to know.
01:56:46.000 I need to know for sure you're really on this program.
01:56:50.000 Dude.
01:56:52.000 100%.
01:56:52.000 You know what, guys?
01:56:53.000 Just imagine.
01:56:54.000 Okay, Sofia Vergara.
01:56:55.000 We're talking about her.
01:56:56.000 Imagine someone.
01:56:57.000 Not her, of course, because that would be offensive.
01:56:59.000 But imagine someone who looks exactly like her. 0.92
01:57:01.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:57:02.000 And she's trying to convince you To kill some terrible, terrible, terrible person. 1.00
01:57:08.000 And if you do, she's gonna suck your cock. 1.00
01:57:11.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:57:11.000 Do I have to take a picture, though? 1.00
01:57:13.000 Another one! 0.99
01:57:14.000 A Jersey therapist asked patient to help her find a hitman and attack her ex.
01:57:21.000 You know what I would say if my therapist said this to me?
01:57:24.000 I'd say, this is my time that I pay for. 1.00
01:57:26.000 Why are you talking to me about killing your fucking husband? 1.00
01:57:29.000 I would say, keep talking. 1.00
01:57:30.000 What kind of deal are we talking about?
01:57:32.000 Depends on who I am.
01:57:33.000 If it's me right now, yeah, I'd be like, this is crazy talk. 0.95
01:57:36.000 I mean, I'm turned on and I have an erection, but I'd like you to stop. 1.00
01:57:39.000 I'm going to jerk off in your bathroom. 1.00
01:57:41.000 But if I was 24-year-old me, I might kill that dude. 1.00
01:57:46.000 I might fucking strangle that guy. 1.00
01:57:48.000 There's that movie about this. 0.99
01:57:50.000 You ever see that movie, To Die For, with Nicole Kidman?
01:57:52.000 It's a great movie.
01:57:53.000 Oh, yeah.
01:57:53.000 Buck Henry wrote it, who wrote The Graduate, and she gets a young Joaquin Phoenix to murder her husband.
01:57:58.000 She's his teacher.
01:57:59.000 It's kind of odd, though.
01:58:02.000 Hell hath no fury.
01:58:05.000 Like a woman scorned. 1.00
01:58:08.000 There's crazy human beings that happen to have vaginas. 1.00
01:58:12.000 That's a real thing, and to ignore that is just as crazy as to say that anybody who says they're trans can use the women's room. 0.99
01:58:20.000 Because both of those things are equally crazy. 0.95
01:58:22.000 I think anyone can be crazy.
01:58:25.000 I think of anything that's inclusive.
01:58:27.000 But there was a time where that was really shunned.
01:58:30.000 There are men who gaslight women and call them crazy when they're the ones manipulating them.
01:58:35.000 So I think that's where that comes from. 0.98
01:58:37.000 But it doesn't mean a woman can't be crazy. 1.00
01:58:40.000 100%. 0.97
01:58:40.000 But it also does mean that guys will say a woman's crazy if they're trying to gaslight them. 0.97
01:58:45.000 Totally.
01:58:46.000 That's true, too.
01:58:46.000 It's lazy.
01:58:47.000 Point out why they're crazy.
01:58:49.000 Don't just use that.
01:58:49.000 Show.
01:58:50.000 Give some examples.
01:58:51.000 Right. 0.99
01:58:52.000 It's inept. 0.99
01:58:53.000 It is. 0.99
01:58:54.000 It's not effective.
01:58:54.000 Because lazy is easy to count.
01:58:56.000 Like, no, you're lazy. 1.00
01:58:57.000 Like, now you're playing fucking pickleball. 1.00
01:59:00.000 You know? 1.00
01:59:00.000 No, you're lazy. 1.00
01:59:01.000 You know? 1.00
01:59:01.000 It's stupid. 1.00
01:59:02.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:59:03.000 The correct thing is to say exactly why what you're doing is lazy and what you think is actually behind that thinking and the way you behave.
01:59:11.000 Yeah, be constructive.
01:59:11.000 Yeah, be constructive.
01:59:12.000 Or just be communicative to the point of saying, I have a real issue with this. 0.99
01:59:18.000 And I don't want to play stupid games. 1.00
01:59:20.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:59:21.000 So either we're nice to each other or we're never going to be nice to each other anymore because I'm going to go away. 0.87
01:59:26.000 Like, I'm not interested in, you know, arguing about dumb shit that shouldn't really be something that anybody argues about. 1.00
01:59:33.000 Most shit you argue about is dumb shit. 1.00
01:59:34.000 Every time I'm in an argument, I'm like, this is fucking dumb. 1.00
01:59:38.000 Here's what it should be. 0.99
01:59:40.000 One of you says something that bothers you and the other person, if you love them, you should just be like, alright.
01:59:45.000 100%.
01:59:46.000 When you see couples fighting in public, I'm like, yeah, you two should not probably be together.
01:59:51.000 Yeah.
01:59:52.000 Especially if you're calling each other like, I used to have neighbors who would scream at each other in ways where I'd be like, this is not healthy for either of you.
01:59:59.000 No, I never do that.
02:00:02.000 I never, I can't scream and I can't say names.
02:00:06.000 I just can't do it.
02:00:07.000 I don't want to do that.
02:00:08.000 I don't ever want to do that in my life.
02:00:10.000 And I think it's a dangerous area to get to. 0.97
02:00:13.000 Because I think if you're screaming at each other and calling each other names and saying mean shit to each other, you're real close to violence. 0.99
02:00:20.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:00:21.000 You're on violence's door.
02:00:23.000 And, you know, if there's any, like, one constant in my life, it's been, like, avoid violence at all costs.
02:00:30.000 Yeah.
02:00:31.000 Other than, like, competition.
02:00:32.000 But avoid, because that's kind of different.
02:00:35.000 That's, like, I'm trying to figure out myself.
02:00:36.000 That's, like, what, like, martial arts competition is about.
02:00:39.000 You're really trying to figure out how far you can go and how good you can get at this.
02:00:43.000 But, like, real-world violence at all costs. 1.00
02:00:46.000 Fuck your ego. 1.00
02:00:47.000 Get out of there. 1.00
02:00:48.000 Yeah, it's not worth it.
02:00:49.000 None of it's worth it.
02:00:49.000 Get out.
02:00:50.000 Sometimes in the moment, you think it's fucked. 0.97
02:00:51.000 I mean, I got into a fight with a guy in the park the other day, because he was like... 0.95
02:00:54.000 Me and my friend...
02:00:54.000 This fight?
02:00:54.000 No!
02:00:55.000 We were exchanging words.
02:00:56.000 It didn't get physical, thank God.
02:00:58.000 But I... No, we were arguing because they were like all these skater kids and they just kept coming through our basketball court.
02:01:03.000 And I was like, guys, come on.
02:01:04.000 We're not going in your area.
02:01:05.000 Could you just stop coming here?
02:01:06.000 And he goes, skaters were here first.
02:01:09.000 I'm like, oh, great. 0.97
02:01:09.000 Now this is like the Middle East we're fucking arguing about. 0.97
02:01:12.000 Like, dude, just let us have it. 0.98
02:01:14.000 And it kind of escalated.
02:01:15.000 And I was like, hey, man, I don't want to argue.
02:01:16.000 And he was like, all right, good.
02:01:18.000 That's good. 1.00
02:01:18.000 But you get the wrong guy, you're like, fuck. 1.00
02:01:20.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
02:01:20.000 Well, so there's guys who look for things like that. 1.00
02:01:22.000 Yeah.
02:01:22.000 Especially guys who know how to fight a little bit, and they'll just decide.
02:01:26.000 They want to show off a little.
02:01:27.000 Yeah, they want to show off, and they want to tee off on your face.
02:01:30.000 Yeah.
02:01:30.000 You know, especially if they come from abused backgrounds, or their dad beat them or something like that.
02:01:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:01:35.000 Those are fucking dangerous people, because they're so used to violence. 1.00
02:01:38.000 Bad dads, dude. 1.00
02:01:38.000 They're so used to violence that violence to them is like first choice. 1.00
02:01:42.000 You know, they're ready to, like, smack you, because people have been smacking them their whole life.
02:01:47.000 My biological father was just distant, so I think I'm passive.
02:01:51.000 I don't want to argue, even.
02:01:52.000 I shrink, kinda.
02:01:54.000 I'm not that... 0.99
02:01:54.000 But I think if you had an abusive dad, yeah, you're gonna want to fucking throw down, probably. 0.99
02:01:58.000 Yeah, there's a fine line with every interaction. 0.98
02:02:04.000 How much could this interaction have been different if I approached it different?
02:02:08.000 Right.
02:02:08.000 You know, how much of it could have been avoided if I was less defensive or if I was more friendly and disarming or if I was just more careful with my words?
02:02:19.000 How much could I have manipulated this conversation or massaged this conversation?
02:02:24.000 And, you know, that's a thing you always have to think about when it comes to, like, two people that don't know each other interacting with each other.
02:02:30.000 Especially if they're drunk, you know, like after a show or something like that.
02:02:35.000 I hate bad drunks.
02:02:36.000 Because I think I'm not a bad drunk.
02:02:38.000 I'm a happy drunk.
02:02:39.000 Me too.
02:02:39.000 I'm a nice drunk.
02:02:41.000 I will deny that I'm drunk when I'm drunk.
02:02:43.000 That's the one thing. 0.98
02:02:44.000 Like, I will literally come home shit-faced and I'm like, I had one drink. 0.98
02:02:49.000 Dude, if you wake me up at four in the morning, I'll swear I was already awake. 0.98
02:02:53.000 I don't know why I lie.
02:02:55.000 It's the only lie I'll tell.
02:02:56.000 That's my lie.
02:02:58.000 My lie is I was asleep.
02:03:00.000 I wasn't asleep.
02:03:02.000 That's my lie.
02:03:03.000 Why?
02:03:03.000 I don't know, man.
02:03:05.000 I wish I knew.
02:03:06.000 There's an answer in there somewhere.
02:03:07.000 But that's the one time I will definitely lie.
02:03:10.000 Not really.
02:03:11.000 Most of the time I'll probably tell the truth now.
02:03:13.000 But in my life, how many times have I lied when someone called and woke me up?
02:03:17.000 99% of the time.
02:03:19.000 I'm always like, no, I'm awake.
02:03:20.000 I'm awake.
02:03:21.000 What's up? 1.00
02:03:21.000 I've gotten better at this shit. 1.00
02:03:23.000 I've gotten better at saying... 1.00
02:03:24.000 Because I was at a Knicks game with my girl the other night, and I was screaming at the ref, and she was like, you're fucking drunk. 0.99
02:03:30.000 And I was like, yeah, you watched me drink. 0.99
02:03:32.000 I don't know why that's surprising.
02:03:34.000 You saw me, and I was yelling at him as this funny NBA ref.
02:03:37.000 He's like, this guy Tony Brothers, he's like a funny ref. 0.99
02:03:40.000 So I'm like, you stink, you're the worst ref. 0.99
02:03:43.000 And he just looks around, he gives me one of these like... 0.99
02:03:45.000 Just like annoyed.
02:03:46.000 He's got a funny face.
02:03:49.000 He's a very sarcastic ref.
02:03:52.000 I've gotten better at admitting it, but for years I was like, I'm not drunk.
02:03:55.000 It came from just being a kid and coming home drunk and my mom being furious at me.
02:03:58.000 And just learning how to be a good drunk actor.
02:04:01.000 My parents would lock the door, so I would just keep hitting the doorbell.
02:04:04.000 My face passed out half against the door, so they'd open it and I'd fall flat on my face.
02:04:08.000 How old are you?
02:04:08.000 I was like 16, probably.
02:04:10.000 But I remember I was just puking my guts out, and my mom would...
02:04:13.000 She doesn't know how to deal with a drunk. 1.00
02:04:14.000 My mom doesn't drink, so she would come in and bring me chamomile tea as I'm puking.
02:04:18.000 I'm like...
02:04:18.000 Perfect.
02:04:19.000 Yeah, this will solve it.
02:04:20.000 That'll do it.
02:04:20.000 That'll do it.
02:04:21.000 You got any zucchinis back there?
02:04:23.000 Zucchinis. 1.00
02:04:24.000 Serve with it? 1.00
02:04:25.000 The fucking gimme lady. 1.00
02:04:26.000 Chamomile tea. 1.00
02:04:27.000 She didn't know.
02:04:27.000 She was just trying to help.
02:04:28.000 That's so insane.
02:04:29.000 But, uh...
02:04:29.000 No, I mean, I can't stand bad drunks, because...
02:04:33.000 Oh, they're terrible.
02:04:33.000 I don't mind, like, if you're just a little sloppy, but if you're, like, an aggressive drunk man, there's something...
02:04:39.000 Nah, I got no time for that shit. 0.99
02:04:42.000 And it's always like, how much do I have invested in you? 0.99
02:04:45.000 Like, how much do I know you?
02:04:47.000 Know you?
02:04:47.000 Do I really know you?
02:04:48.000 Know you?
02:04:48.000 And it's just an off night, and like, you're alright, dude.
02:04:51.000 Don't worry about it. 0.97
02:04:52.000 You give him a hug, and he goes, bro, you were crazy. 1.00
02:04:54.000 You were crazy. 0.99
02:04:54.000 You were trying to fight cops. 0.99
02:04:55.000 Exactly.
02:04:56.000 That's the thing, too.
02:04:57.000 Was I really?
02:04:58.000 Yeah, you tried to fight a cop, man.
02:04:59.000 Come on.
02:05:00.000 Well, that's the thing.
02:05:01.000 I'm compassionate because I drink. 0.96
02:05:02.000 So if someone's badly behaved, I'm like, hey, I'm usually, as long as they're not like a huge asshole, I don't want people kicked out of my shows ever. 0.94
02:05:08.000 So I'm very, very gentle with that. 0.97
02:05:10.000 But at the same time, I think people, I mean, I remember a guy threw a fucking bottle at David Tell's head and he was just like, he gave, I think he gave the guy's friend bail money for the guy. 0.96
02:05:22.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99
02:05:23.000 Because he's that fucking nice. 0.99
02:05:24.000 That's amazing. 0.96
02:05:25.000 Yeah.
02:05:26.000 I'm not that nice.
02:05:27.000 No, I'm not that nice.
02:05:28.000 You throw a bottle in my head.
02:05:30.000 Yeah, the comedy store in the dark days, the dark days of like the 90s, the comedy store was totally unpoliced.
02:05:37.000 I hate that.
02:05:38.000 And there was no crowd control.
02:05:39.000 It was terrible.
02:05:41.000 And it was not good, but it was good.
02:05:43.000 Because it was like working out at Kronk Gym, where they kept the temperature at like 98 degrees all the time.
02:05:48.000 And it was just so hard to work there. 0.98
02:05:50.000 But you'd go on the road, and you're like at the improv in Fort Lauderdale, and you're fucking slaying. 1.00
02:05:55.000 Your shit's tight. 1.00
02:05:57.000 Because you're dealing with animals. 1.00
02:05:59.000 Also, you have the ability to flow if something happens in the crowd.
02:06:03.000 You know, if something happens, you're so accustomed to things going sideways.
02:06:07.000 Yeah.
02:06:07.000 We're a comedy store, like, the comedy store 90s comedians, you know, and I count Diaz in one of those, were constantly involved in these chaotic shows.
02:06:17.000 They were nuts, man. 0.99
02:06:19.000 They were nuts. 1.00
02:06:20.000 People would pile in there. 0.98
02:06:21.000 But it makes you who you are.
02:06:22.000 Makes you who you are.
02:06:23.000 It's not easy.
02:06:25.000 That was a hard room.
02:06:26.000 It was really loud.
02:06:27.000 The hallway was really loud.
02:06:28.000 People were always out there in the hallway yelling.
02:06:30.000 That was Broadway comedy club for us in New York.
02:06:33.000 That was a rough room. 0.93
02:06:34.000 I used to work the door there for a couple years, and it sucked. 0.97
02:06:36.000 They'd give you stage time, they'd go on, but I remember a guy fucking spit on me during my set, and I'm like, this is maybe a bit much. 0.96
02:06:44.000 Joey Cola told me that he was doing pips in Brooklyn, and a guy showed him his gun. 0.92
02:06:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:06:49.000 Showed him his gun, and he said, you fucking suck. 1.00
02:06:52.000 You fucking suck. 1.00
02:06:54.000 You're not funny at all. 1.00
02:06:55.000 You fucking suck. 1.00
02:06:56.000 I'm gonna shoot you in your fucking head. 1.00
02:06:58.000 And he's like, hey, buddy, what do I do? 1.00
02:07:00.000 And he's trying to, like, joke around.
02:07:02.000 Joey Cola's, like, the sweetest, nicest guy ever.
02:07:04.000 A lot of pressure whoever's on next.
02:07:06.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:07:07.000 Better fucking turn this around. 0.99
02:07:08.000 Yeah, Joey's a funny dude. 0.99
02:07:10.000 Have you ever seen Joey Cola?
02:07:11.000 I haven't, but I'm aware of his reputation as being a killer. 0.99
02:07:14.000 He's a killer, dude. 0.89
02:07:16.000 Especially, like, the 90s. 0.99
02:07:18.000 Oh, my God.
02:07:19.000 Joey Cola was an animal. 0.63
02:07:21.000 He was an ant.
02:07:21.000 He was so fast.
02:07:23.000 That's so entitled.
02:07:24.000 It pips.
02:07:24.000 Was he a mob guy, you think?
02:07:25.000 That's where Dice started out.
02:07:26.000 Mob guy?
02:07:27.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
02:07:28.000 Or a killer. 0.99
02:07:29.000 Just some hitman. 1.00
02:07:29.000 Or a crazy person with a gun. 1.00
02:07:31.000 Could be all of the above.
02:07:32.000 But there's a lot of...
02:07:32.000 You're in Brooklyn.
02:07:33.000 You're in Sheepshead Bay.
02:07:34.000 Yeah.
02:07:34.000 I was like, what do you think is happening there?
02:07:36.000 You know, if you're in Chinatown and you're some guy, you know, talking Chinese, you get hit in the net with a dart.
02:07:41.000 Dude, I had an incident once.
02:07:43.000 I was leaving a terrible club to catch a rising star in Princeton.
02:07:47.000 It was probably like 12 years ago or something.
02:07:50.000 And, you know, one of the rare clubs that would headline me back then.
02:07:53.000 And I'm coming back that night on the train, on Amtrak, whatever, New Jersey Transit, rather.
02:07:59.000 And I'm on the platform, and I'm just like, I got a bottle of whiskey with me.
02:08:03.000 I'm like, I'm going back tonight.
02:08:05.000 I'll have a few drinks.
02:08:05.000 I'll chill on the train.
02:08:07.000 And I'm a little buzzed.
02:08:09.000 And this dude just walks up to me.
02:08:10.000 Something's like off about him. 0.99
02:08:11.000 And he's like fucking with people on the platform. 0.97
02:08:13.000 And he said to me like, he's going to everyone like, how do you feel about immigration? 0.99
02:08:16.000 And I'm like, what is wrong with this guy? 1.00
02:08:18.000 So when he gets over to me, I'm like, I'll fuck with him back. 1.00
02:08:20.000 I had that much alcohol in me. 1.00
02:08:22.000 And he goes, uh...
02:08:24.000 Where do you stand on immigration? 1.00
02:08:25.000 I was like, they're ruining the damn country. 1.00
02:08:27.000 And like, I shouldn't have said that. 1.00
02:08:28.000 I was just trying to be silly.
02:08:29.000 Like, obviously I don't believe that. 1.00
02:08:30.000 But he's like, he goes, you're a bad fucking person. 1.00
02:08:32.000 He goes, I should fucking hurt you. 1.00
02:08:34.000 And I was like, what is, like, he's a creepy little dude. 1.00
02:08:36.000 So I'm like, whatever.
02:08:37.000 But I'm like, maybe he's got a weapon.
02:08:39.000 I get on the train.
02:08:40.000 I'm hiding from him.
02:08:41.000 He's trying to find me.
02:08:41.000 I'm like hiding.
02:08:42.000 Because I just, I don't want to deal with this.
02:08:44.000 How'd you get away from him? 0.99
02:08:45.000 So he keeps fucking with people. 0.99
02:08:46.000 As he's looking for me, I'm like hiding. 1.00
02:08:47.000 I see him.
02:08:48.000 But how'd you get away from him initially?
02:08:49.000 I just kept walking away.
02:08:51.000 And he wasn't like, he was kind of like, Still keeping his eye on me and trying to find me, but he wasn't like chasing me, you know?
02:08:56.000 Who's sizing you up?
02:08:57.000 Sizing me up.
02:08:58.000 And I'm on the train and I'm hiding. 1.00
02:08:59.000 I'm like, I don't want to fuck. 1.00
02:09:00.000 This guy's insane. 1.00
02:09:01.000 I didn't realize how crazy he was. 0.97
02:09:03.000 I thought it was like, and it was a rookie move by me.
02:09:05.000 I'm a New Yorker. 1.00
02:09:05.000 I know better than to do this shit. 1.00
02:09:07.000 I'm on the train. 1.00
02:09:08.000 I'm sitting down.
02:09:08.000 I'm hiding.
02:09:08.000 I'm texting my friend.
02:09:10.000 And I'm like, this guy's fucking me on the train. 1.00
02:09:12.000 He's like, oh, fuck. 1.00
02:09:13.000 I'm sorry. 1.00
02:09:14.000 Whatever.
02:09:15.000 I see him do it to another guy.
02:09:16.000 How do you feel about immigration? 1.00
02:09:18.000 And he just keeps fucking with the dude. 1.00
02:09:20.000 And it's a big black dude. 1.00
02:09:21.000 And he goes... 1.00
02:09:22.000 East New York, motherfucker! 1.00
02:09:24.000 And I'm like, this is like my guardian angel right here. 1.00
02:09:26.000 He, like, gets in the guy's face, he's like, I'm gonna fucking kill you. 0.99
02:09:29.000 And then, like, some ticket boy tries to get in the middle. 0.99
02:09:31.000 They have to stop the train. 0.99
02:09:33.000 This dude was about to get fucking pounded. 0.98
02:09:35.000 I got, like, saved by some weird... 1.00
02:09:37.000 Yeah, there's people out there in the world that you should not fuck with. 0.99
02:09:40.000 You find those in those prankster guys. 0.99
02:09:42.000 Every now and then they run into the wrong dude.
02:09:44.000 It's not a smart move.
02:09:46.000 I get it.
02:09:46.000 You're trying to get a lot of people to pay attention to you, and that will be effective, but you might get concussed.
02:09:51.000 You see old clips of Tom Green, I'm like, thank God he didn't get to ask.
02:09:54.000 I mean, this is like ballsy as hell. 0.97
02:09:55.000 He was crazy. 0.99
02:09:56.000 Tom Green was crazy. 0.99
02:09:57.000 He was innovative. 0.57
02:09:58.000 I mean, he was...
02:09:58.000 I credit him to being one of the inspirations for me starting this, for sure.
02:10:02.000 I love him.
02:10:03.000 Did you ever see his show?
02:10:04.000 Tom Green's show?
02:10:05.000 Did you ever do the show, the in-house show?
02:10:07.000 No.
02:10:08.000 The in-house show was incredible.
02:10:09.000 Yeah.
02:10:09.000 I don't know if you were...
02:10:10.000 When did you start stand-up?
02:10:12.000 2005. Okay, so it was only two years after you started.
02:10:15.000 Yeah.
02:10:15.000 Tom Green had an internet show in his house.
02:10:18.000 No, I remember the clips.
02:10:19.000 I never...
02:10:20.000 I was obsessed with his MTV show.
02:10:22.000 It was amazing!
02:10:23.000 It's in an Eminem song. 1.00
02:10:25.000 He made a fucking M&M song! 0.99
02:10:27.000 The one I remember all the time is Undercutters Pizza, where he would just follow people. 1.00
02:10:32.000 He'd follow a pizza delivery guy and bring all the toppings in a suitcase, and he'd be like, we're Undercutters Pizza, we'll charge you less to the guy he was delivering it to. 1.00
02:10:40.000 And I'm like, and the guy fucking tried to kick his ass. 1.00
02:10:42.000 It was so... 1.00
02:10:43.000 Undercutters Pizza? 1.00
02:10:44.000 So stupid and funny. 1.00
02:10:46.000 I think he was... 1.00
02:10:47.000 He's a genius.
02:10:48.000 He was pretty great.
02:10:49.000 He got really good at stand-up too, by the way.
02:10:51.000 Yeah.
02:10:51.000 He really did.
02:10:52.000 He's a great storyteller.
02:10:53.000 He's doing the mothership soon.
02:10:54.000 This is it, yeah. 1.00
02:10:56.000 The guy wanted to fucking kick his ass. 1.00
02:10:57.000 The guy gets so mad. 1.00
02:10:59.000 Oh, I remember when he smashed his testicle live on air because he got it removed from when he had cancer. 0.96
02:11:03.000 Yeah. 0.72
02:11:04.000 Yeah, I respect him a lot.
02:11:09.000 He's coming soon.
02:11:10.000 He's gonna be on the podcast soon, too.
02:11:11.000 Yeah, he's underappreciated.
02:11:13.000 Yeah, I feel so.
02:11:14.000 I feel like that.
02:11:15.000 And I really like the stand-up.
02:11:16.000 He's a big name still, but I don't mean to say it like that. 0.97
02:11:20.000 Freddy Got Fingered is a fucking great movie. 0.98
02:11:23.000 Insane. 0.99
02:11:23.000 I was one of three people in the movie theater opening day when it came out. 0.99
02:11:28.000 The other two, my friends.
02:11:30.000 Empty movie theater.
02:11:31.000 It was an empty movie.
02:11:31.000 It didn't pan out commercially, but my friend Eddie Bravo told me about it.
02:11:34.000 He goes, dude, He goes, I know everybody says it sucks. 0.74
02:11:38.000 Go see Freddy Got Fingered. 0.89
02:11:39.000 I went, really?
02:11:40.000 It's insane.
02:11:41.000 He goes, it's so funny. 0.98
02:11:42.000 He jerks off a horse. 0.90
02:11:44.000 It's amazing. 0.90
02:11:44.000 Or an elephant, whatever. 0.90
02:11:45.000 Whatever.
02:11:46.000 It's amazing. 0.97
02:11:47.000 It's so silly. 0.95
02:11:49.000 He's ahead of his time. 0.98
02:11:50.000 He was ahead of his time. 1.00
02:11:51.000 Yeah, he sucks off a cow or something. 1.00
02:11:54.000 He's out of his mind. 1.00
02:11:55.000 Yeah, you know what?
02:11:56.000 It's one of the last movies, I feel like, that got destroyed by critics. 0.98
02:11:58.000 It's when critics still had their power, and it was like a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes or whatever, and they're like, it's like back, like, think about it, critics can't do that shit anymore.
02:12:07.000 I don't think that had Rotten Tomatoes back then.
02:12:08.000 But whatever it was, it was like...
02:12:09.000 It was like Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel. 0.99
02:12:11.000 Being like, this sucks. 0.99
02:12:12.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:12:13.000 And Ebert's a great reviewer.
02:12:14.000 He doesn't always get comedies, but, like, if you read Ebert's old reviews, they're incredible.
02:12:19.000 He's one of the best writers.
02:12:21.000 Did you ever read the script that he wrote?
02:12:22.000 No, I never did.
02:12:23.000 Is it good or not?
02:12:24.000 He wrote some crazy movie.
02:12:26.000 What was the movie that Roger Ebert wore?
02:12:28.000 It's like, it's so insane.
02:12:30.000 You're like, what are you doing?
02:12:32.000 What is this? 0.99
02:12:33.000 It sucked. 0.96
02:12:34.000 I mean, I'm not the one to judge. 0.96
02:12:37.000 I'm not a movie critic.
02:12:38.000 I don't know how to interpret scripts.
02:12:40.000 Maybe it could have been made amazing.
02:12:42.000 But most people thought it was preposterous. 0.99
02:12:43.000 Well, his reviews, though, I mean, that was his talent, his reviews, because he would write shit, and look, he would articulate things like, fuck, I didn't realize I felt that way, and that's what a good writer can do, you know? 0.99
02:12:54.000 Yeah, but it's also, he's a different human than you. 0.99
02:12:56.000 Like an Adam Sandler movie, for me, I'm like, I can review an Adam Sandler movie, and I go, it's fun, silly, it's great, the Zohan, he fucks everyone, cuts hair, kicks everybody's ass, it's really fun. 1.00
02:13:08.000 At the end of the movie, you're like, I had a good fucking time. 0.99
02:13:10.000 But you can like both. 0.97
02:13:11.000 And also he did Uncut Gems, which is the complete polar opposite of that.
02:13:15.000 What did you see? 1.00
02:13:15.000 That movie makes my fucking hand sweat. 1.00
02:13:18.000 And I'm going, oh Jesus, don't fucking do this, man! 1.00
02:13:21.000 Don't fucking do this! 1.00
02:13:23.000 When you watch that gambling junkie, you keep placing those bets and you feel the anxiety. 1.00
02:13:27.000 You feel it.
02:13:28.000 I feel it.
02:13:30.000 That's one of the most stress-inducing movies I've ever seen.
02:13:34.000 Ever.
02:13:34.000 But man, he's great in it.
02:13:35.000 He's so good in that movie.
02:13:37.000 They're great directors, those guys.
02:13:39.000 They're really good.
02:13:39.000 The Safdie brothers.
02:13:41.000 They did Good Time.
02:13:42.000 You ever see that? 0.99
02:13:43.000 They're fucking great. 0.99
02:13:44.000 What's Good Time? 1.00
02:13:44.000 It's with Robert Pattinson. 1.00
02:13:46.000 It's another crazy adrenaline rush type movie like that.
02:13:49.000 It's really cool.
02:13:50.000 Did you see Sisu?
02:13:52.000 It was on TV the other day, and I was loving it, and I had to run out.
02:13:55.000 It's that war movie, right? 0.98
02:13:56.000 It's fucking great. 1.00
02:13:57.000 Yeah, it was violent as shit. 1.00
02:13:58.000 It's fucking great. 0.99
02:13:59.000 I'm putting it on the list right now. 1.00
02:14:00.000 It's fucking great. 0.99
02:14:01.000 It's so ridiculous, and it's basically like John Wick in World War II. I gotta see this. 0.99
02:14:06.000 It's amazing, man.
02:14:08.000 It's World War I or World War II. A guy got stabbed in the head, and then I had to run out.
02:14:12.000 It's fucking incredible. 1.00
02:14:14.000 This dude is the shit. 1.00
02:14:15.000 Yeah, that was it. 1.00
02:14:16.000 And I had to fucking run out. 1.00
02:14:17.000 I'm telling you, this dude's the shit. 1.00
02:14:19.000 He's amazing. 1.00
02:14:20.000 He stole his gold and he just wants it back. 0.99
02:14:22.000 Oh, he fucks everybody up, man. 0.99
02:14:25.000 And it's the way he does it. 0.98
02:14:26.000 I love him.
02:14:27.000 I love him. 0.98
02:14:30.000 Yeah, it's a fucking fun movie, man. 0.99
02:14:32.000 It's a really fun movie. 0.99
02:14:33.000 Gotta check it out.
02:14:34.000 Doesn't he have like one line the whole time?
02:14:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:14:36.000 You can watch it.
02:14:37.000 Like, it doesn't matter.
02:14:38.000 It's like, my favorite moments in John Wick are not of him talking.
02:14:42.000 All due respect to Keanu Reeves.
02:14:43.000 I love that dude.
02:14:44.000 But my favorite moments in John Wick are him just fucking everybody up. 0.73
02:14:48.000 It's just, it's like beautiful the way it's choreographed. 0.96
02:14:52.000 It's like beautiful violence.
02:14:54.000 Bro, John Wick 1, I don't care what anybody says.
02:14:57.000 It's like one of the best movies ever in terms of what it's trying to do.
02:15:00.000 What is it trying to do? 0.98
02:15:01.000 It's trying to excite you and get you fired up and get you engaged and wanting this guy to be successful and kill all these bad guys. 0.97
02:15:08.000 And you're on his side immediately. 0.98
02:15:09.000 100%.
02:15:09.000 And he's doing things that you know can't There's not a person who is okay with you murdering a dog.
02:15:15.000 Exactly.
02:15:17.000 Maybe Michael Vick ten years ago.
02:15:20.000 It's also redemption denied.
02:15:22.000 So this guy has this redemption story.
02:15:24.000 He's decided to settle down with this amazing woman.
02:15:27.000 I'm not gonna be a hitman for the Russian mob anymore, which is kind of problematic already.
02:15:31.000 He's probably killed a lot of nice people, but you have beautiful hair and you are Keanu Reeves.
02:15:35.000 So I'm gonna let it slide for now.
02:15:36.000 So, but this woman, obviously they were really in love.
02:15:39.000 And then, you know, when she dies, and then they steal his car and kill his dog. 1.00
02:15:45.000 You don't fuck with a man's car or their dog. 1.00
02:15:47.000 Okay. 1.00
02:15:47.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:15:48.000 Okay.
02:15:49.000 And you're so, you're rooting for him every step of the way. 0.99
02:15:53.000 And then the fucking guy, who was the guy who played the father, the head of the Russian mob? 0.99
02:15:57.000 He just passed away, that guy. 1.00
02:15:58.000 Great actor. 0.99
02:15:59.000 Goddamn, he was incredible. 0.96
02:16:00.000 He's so good in that movie, man. 0.99
02:16:02.000 He's so fucking good. 0.97
02:16:04.000 When he's explaining to his son what he did wrong. 0.97
02:16:06.000 Yeah.
02:16:07.000 You know?
02:16:07.000 Because you can tell he's more like Wick.
02:16:10.000 He's more on his side, but he's like, it's my fucking son. 0.99
02:16:12.000 Well, he knows what's going to happen. 1.00
02:16:14.000 Yeah, you're fucked. 1.00
02:16:15.000 Yeah, and when he says to him, he goes, we called him Baba Yaga. 1.00
02:16:19.000 Yeah, here, play this.
02:16:20.000 This is one of my favorite scenes in any movie.
02:16:23.000 When Ari, Bert, Tom, and I were having Sober October Fitness Challenge, I watched this on a loop.
02:16:29.000 I watched this like 50 times in a row. 0.98
02:16:34.000 The fucking greatest scenes in any movie. 0.99
02:16:37.000 I love this. 1.00
02:16:37.000 The fucking ultimate boogeyman. 1.00
02:16:42.000 Rich guy's son. 1.00
02:16:44.000 Piece of shit. 1.00
02:16:45.000 He's hateable. 1.00
02:16:45.000 He has a hateable face, too. 1.00
02:16:47.000 Just admitted he killed some people in Atlantic City. 0.83
02:16:50.000 Yeah.
02:16:51.000 Can I keep it going?
02:16:52.000 This is Barbie for men, ladies. 0.99
02:16:55.000 I just want you to understand.
02:16:56.000 It is.
02:16:57.000 That's what that is.
02:16:57.000 You know how you love Barbie?
02:16:58.000 I enjoyed Barbie, too.
02:16:59.000 I don't like it.
02:17:00.000 I thought it was fun. 0.85
02:17:01.000 I thought it was a silly movie.
02:17:03.000 I enjoyed it. 0.86
02:17:03.000 I went with my wife and my daughters. 0.86
02:17:05.000 We had a good time.
02:17:06.000 Yeah.
02:17:07.000 Look, I understand.
02:17:08.000 It was beautiful looking.
02:17:09.000 I think they're...
02:17:10.000 That's Barbie for men. 1.00
02:17:11.000 Yeah.
02:17:14.000 It's not for me.
02:17:15.000 Well, I enjoyed it.
02:17:17.000 I'm not faking enjoying it. 0.97
02:17:19.000 I thought it was a fun, silly movie.
02:17:20.000 What did you not like about it? 0.77
02:17:23.000 I just didn't think it was that funny. 0.83
02:17:25.000 I just thought it was kind of like, I'm going to get trash for this, but I just thought it was, I know everyone loves this fucking movie, but I just thought it was, I didn't laugh. 0.88
02:17:32.000 You didn't laugh ever? 0.97
02:17:34.000 Not really, no.
02:17:35.000 I laughed a few times.
02:17:36.000 But I was looking to laugh.
02:17:39.000 I went into it with a really good mood.
02:17:40.000 I was looking to laugh.
02:17:42.000 I was looking to have a good time.
02:17:42.000 I was too.
02:17:43.000 I never go in wanting to not like a movie.
02:17:45.000 I love movies, man.
02:17:46.000 I think Greta Gerwig's crazy talented. 1.00
02:17:50.000 I just didn't really... 0.98
02:17:51.000 You know what else I couldn't fucking stand? 0.97
02:17:53.000 What? 0.98
02:17:54.000 Everyone's talking about this movie Salt Burn. 1.00
02:17:55.000 Do you see this shit? 1.00
02:17:56.000 No. 1.00
02:17:56.000 What is that? 1.00
02:17:57.000 It's like talented Mr. Ripley for retards, I guess. 1.00
02:18:01.000 It's like if you fucking can't... 1.00
02:18:03.000 If you don't like nuance and you need to see a dude's dick every three minutes... 1.00
02:18:06.000 What is it? 1.00
02:18:07.000 What?
02:18:07.000 Salt Burn.
02:18:08.000 What is this movie about?
02:18:09.000 Have you heard of this, Jamie?
02:18:10.000 It's basically talented.
02:18:11.000 I've only heard of it.
02:18:12.000 I haven't seen it.
02:18:12.000 It's just not a nuanced movie.
02:18:15.000 It's so over the top.
02:18:16.000 Look, the actors are very good, and it looks beautiful.
02:18:19.000 I think the script was absurd.
02:18:21.000 I've never heard of this until right now.
02:18:22.000 Oh, it's huge.
02:18:23.000 It's a huge movie.
02:18:24.000 I'm so out of the loop, dude.
02:18:26.000 Yeah.
02:18:27.000 Sigh.
02:18:27.000 I didn't like it.
02:18:28.000 I'm out of the cultural loop.
02:18:29.000 Do you think you want to get into films?
02:18:31.000 Is that why you're so interested?
02:18:31.000 I love movies.
02:18:32.000 Yeah, I'm working on...
02:18:33.000 Norman and I wrote a movie with Noah Gardner, Schwartz, and Esther Steinberg.
02:18:38.000 It's like a drinking buddies movie.
02:18:39.000 It's fun.
02:18:40.000 It's really funny.
02:18:40.000 So hopefully we do something with that.
02:18:42.000 Yeah, I'm trying to develop a TV show right now.
02:18:45.000 I like writing.
02:18:46.000 I like writing plots and dialogue and stuff.
02:18:51.000 I worked on one for a while with Dana Gould.
02:18:53.000 We worked on an animated show for so fucking long and we couldn't sell it.
02:18:56.000 But I loved it. 0.86
02:18:58.000 I will make it someday.
02:19:00.000 Yeah, I think this show I'm working on, I'm writing it with...
02:19:03.000 Do you know Mike Lawrence, the comedian?
02:19:05.000 I know the name. 1.00
02:19:06.000 He's a fucking beast. 1.00
02:19:08.000 Maybe I do know him. 1.00
02:19:09.000 He was a roast battle champion back in the day.
02:19:11.000 Okay.
02:19:12.000 But he's a great stand-up, too.
02:19:14.000 But we're creating this show, and I think it's going to be really cool.
02:19:17.000 But yeah, I love movies.
02:19:18.000 Pull up Mike Lawrence.
02:19:19.000 I love stand-up the most, and that'll always be number one.
02:19:22.000 But I want to...
02:19:25.000 Try other avenues.
02:19:26.000 Yeah, it's good to do, man.
02:19:28.000 And I love movies.
02:19:30.000 Oh, I know that dude.
02:19:30.000 Yeah, he's great.
02:19:31.000 Oh, dude.
02:19:31.000 He's very funny.
02:19:32.000 I've seen him. 0.99
02:19:32.000 The lines he's written for this, I'm like, fuck, they're beautiful. 0.99
02:19:35.000 I think everybody should like other stuff, too. 0.96
02:19:37.000 I don't think it's bad to like other stuff.
02:19:39.000 I love sports.
02:19:40.000 I love movies.
02:19:42.000 I have so many interests, but I mean...
02:19:45.000 Like, I told you, like, Golden Age Hollywood, I love film noir. 0.97
02:19:48.000 I love, like, old school movies and shit. 0.99
02:19:51.000 Wouldn't you love to be a fucking spider on the wall during, like, a James Cagney movie? 1.00
02:19:56.000 Dude, okay. 0.99
02:19:57.000 Can I give you a book recommendation?
02:19:59.000 Yeah.
02:19:59.000 It's called, I think it's called, look up the title exactly, it's called Lunches with Orson, I think.
02:20:03.000 It's about Orson Welles.
02:20:04.000 It's literally Orson Welles shit-talking Every actor and director from the 30s to like the 80s. 0.77
02:20:11.000 It's one of the funniest... 0.85
02:20:13.000 He's incredibly funny.
02:20:14.000 Oh, he was brilliant.
02:20:15.000 Because he...
02:20:15.000 He underperformed.
02:20:17.000 It's brilliant.
02:20:18.000 He underperformed in his life.
02:20:19.000 But think about making Citizen Kane at 25. I know, but he underperformed.
02:20:22.000 But that always drove me crazy.
02:20:25.000 Like, why?
02:20:25.000 Why did he go to sell wine after that?
02:20:27.000 He was broke.
02:20:29.000 I understand that.
02:20:30.000 I'm not criticizing him for selling wine.
02:20:32.000 I would do it too. 1.00
02:20:34.000 My criticism is like, you were the fucking man. 1.00
02:20:37.000 You were War of Worlds. 0.99
02:20:39.000 You played that on the radio and freaked out half the country.
02:20:42.000 You were Citizen Kane.
02:20:44.000 He was going up against William Randolph Hearst.
02:20:47.000 I mean, he was essentially making a film that was about William Randolph Hearst.
02:20:53.000 William Randolph Hearst was very aware of it.
02:20:55.000 So was everyone else. 1.00
02:20:55.000 Powerful motherfucker too. 1.00
02:20:56.000 Scary powerful. 0.99
02:20:57.000 It's so scary that marijuana is still a Schedule I drug today because of William Randolph Hearst.
02:21:01.000 That's a fact.
02:21:02.000 That's a fact.
02:21:03.000 William Randolph Hearst with Hearst Publications.
02:21:06.000 They're the ones who came up with this whole idea, along with Harry Anslinger, that marijuana was a different drug.
02:21:14.000 Because they were using hemp for everything.
02:21:17.000 They were using hemp for clothes. 0.70
02:21:18.000 Hemp makes a superior fabric.
02:21:21.000 It makes superior paper.
02:21:23.000 It's way better for paper.
02:21:25.000 It's way more sustainable.
02:21:26.000 You could repopulate.
02:21:27.000 If you have land and you're growing hemp on it and you cut it all down, you grow it back in a year. 0.99
02:21:33.000 If you have land where you're growing trees and you chop them down to make paper, you're fucked for 20, 30 years, man. 0.99
02:21:39.000 Wow. 0.98
02:21:39.000 It's a different thing you're doing. 0.98
02:21:42.000 And it's far superior.
02:21:44.000 For years, they had used paper.
02:21:47.000 Because there was a machine that came out called a decorticator.
02:21:50.000 And when the machine came out, it could effectively process hemp fiber with a machine.
02:21:55.000 Wow.
02:21:55.000 Because they used to use slaves.
02:21:57.000 So when they used slaves, it wasn't as cost effective as cotton was.
02:22:01.000 So then they started cotton picking. 0.99
02:22:03.000 Eli Whitney comes out with the cotton gin.
02:22:05.000 And then hemp gets kind of put on the back burner because it's not as easy to do.
02:22:10.000 You've got to beat the fuck out of that stalk to break it down into fibers and weave those fibers.
02:22:15.000 But if you do, it's way superior.
02:22:18.000 So this invention comes out called the decorticator.
02:22:20.000 Pull up a decorticator so you can see what it is.
02:22:22.000 So it's this big steel wheel with these rods poking out, these pokey points poking out.
02:22:29.000 And they grind down the hemp.
02:22:31.000 Fiber with this so that you can make superior paper.
02:22:34.000 And it's a machine that does this.
02:22:35.000 Yes.
02:22:35.000 So popular mechanics or popular science on the front cover says, hemp the new billion dollar crop.
02:22:42.000 So there's a competition with these people that have paper mills.
02:22:45.000 So William Randolph Hearst not only has Hearst Publications, he also has paper mills.
02:22:50.000 And he has huge forests that he's chopping down to make paper for his newspaper.
02:22:55.000 So instead of like switching everything over to hemp, he decides to demonize hemp.
02:23:00.000 So he creates a new name.
02:23:02.000 They create a new drug called marijuana.
02:23:04.000 And marijuana was the name they used to use for a wild Mexican tobacco.
02:23:10.000 And so they attribute this marijuana name to cannabis, which they've always used because it's hemp.
02:23:15.000 It's the same thing that they've always used for clothing.
02:23:18.000 But he villainized it.
02:23:18.000 He villainized it and then came out with Reefer Madness and those crazy propaganda movies.
02:23:24.000 It makes you shoot up a school. 1.00
02:23:25.000 They started writing stories in Hearst Publications about blacks and Mexicans who are taking this marijuana and raping white women. 1.00
02:23:33.000 So they put everybody into a fucking fever pitch and then they outlawed it. 1.00
02:23:37.000 Wow. 0.99
02:23:38.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:23:39.000 That is fucking nutty. 0.99
02:23:40.000 It's 2024 and it's still schedule one. 1.00
02:23:44.000 That is crazy.
02:23:45.000 Crazy.
02:23:45.000 I did not know that was Hurst.
02:23:46.000 That's William Randolph Hurst.
02:23:47.000 So that's the guy that Orson Welles was up against.
02:23:50.000 Incredible.
02:23:51.000 Isn't that wild?
02:23:52.000 Dude, I highly recommend it. 0.93
02:23:53.000 It's like, the amount of shit-talking, I mean, everybody gets, people, it's like basically a podcast, but in text, but like people, so Richard Burden will like walk up to a mid-interview and he's like, can't you see I'm talking to someone else? 0.99
02:24:05.000 Like he's like a psycho. 0.99
02:24:06.000 But there's one part where like this guy, Henry Jaglum, like worships Orson Welles. 0.61
02:24:11.000 Like he's like, he's my hero, he's a genius.
02:24:13.000 So I guess he knew Peter Bogdanovich and he goes, how about, Like, setting me up with him.
02:24:17.000 I wrote a movie part that'd be killer for him.
02:24:19.000 He's like, he's never gonna do it, but if you want to meet him, he's staying at this hotel in New York. 1.00
02:24:23.000 So, you know, he's like a fucking dude. 0.99
02:24:25.000 He's like, every time he's at dinner, you know, he's got an eating problem. 1.00
02:24:27.000 So, like, I'll have one bite of this, and then he goes back to his room and orders six ribeyes. 0.99
02:24:31.000 And fucking gorgeous. 0.92
02:24:32.000 But this guy goes to meet him, and he's, like, literally knocking on his hotel room door to be in his movie. 0.99
02:24:37.000 And there's a guy who's interviewing him in the book.
02:24:39.000 They became buddies.
02:24:40.000 But he knocks on his door, and he goes, uh...
02:24:42.000 Please be in my movie.
02:24:43.000 And he goes, I'll never do a director's first film. 1.00
02:24:45.000 Fuck you. 1.00
02:24:46.000 I'll never do it. 1.00
02:24:46.000 And he goes, no, I won't do it. 1.00
02:24:48.000 And he goes, you love magic.
02:24:51.000 Please, you know, please do this.
02:24:53.000 I know you're an amateur magician.
02:24:55.000 And he goes, never.
02:24:56.000 And then he pauses and he's like, in this film, could I wear a cape?
02:24:59.000 And he's like, yeah.
02:25:00.000 And he's like, all right, I'll do it.
02:25:01.000 That's all it took. 1.00
02:25:02.000 He's a fucking weird dude. 1.00
02:25:04.000 That's wild. 1.00
02:25:05.000 But he, the amount of people he shit talks in the book where he's like, fuck, he's like, fuck Woody Allen. 1.00
02:25:11.000 And he'll just go on like a, but it's like everything he says, like I love Woody Allen, but everything he says, I'm like, it's pretty fucking funny. 1.00
02:25:17.000 What was he saying about Woody Allen?
02:25:18.000 You know that his type of self-deprecation is insincere and he can tell he loves himself.
02:25:23.000 He's like, I don't buy it.
02:25:25.000 I think this guy loves himself. 1.00
02:25:27.000 He's like, anyone who's this self-deprecating, it's fucking bullshit. 1.00
02:25:31.000 He loves himself, the way he acts about himself. 1.00
02:25:34.000 A lot of stuff like that. 1.00
02:25:35.000 He'll shit on like... 1.00
02:25:36.000 Ooh, I like it. 0.99
02:25:38.000 Not only was he skeptical of Alan's approach to comedy, but he was vehemently averse to the hungry ego it served.
02:25:44.000 I hate Woody Allen physically. 0.87
02:25:46.000 I dislike that kind of man. 0.77
02:25:48.000 He said, adding, Oh yes, I can hardly bear to talk to him. 0.74
02:25:52.000 He has the Chaplin disease.
02:25:54.000 A lot of people hated Chaplin.
02:25:55.000 Oh, don't say this about Chaplin.
02:25:57.000 Well, you know, a lot of people...
02:25:58.000 I love Fatty Arbuckle. 0.97
02:25:59.000 There's a book about Fatty Arbuckle who fucking hated Chaplin. 0.80
02:26:02.000 I think they ended up alright, but he was like Team Buster Keaton.
02:26:05.000 I don't know if you want to get on Team Fatty Arbuckle.
02:26:07.000 Really?
02:26:08.000 He didn't do it.
02:26:09.000 He didn't do it?
02:26:09.000 He didn't do it.
02:26:10.000 That's bullshit. 1.00
02:26:10.000 Is it bullshit? 1.00
02:26:11.000 Yeah, he was framed. 0.99
02:26:11.000 What happened? 0.99
02:26:12.000 Great book called Frame Up.
02:26:14.000 I don't know exactly who framed him.
02:26:16.000 How much of your life savings would you bet on this?
02:26:18.000 He was exonerated.
02:26:18.000 Was he?
02:26:19.000 Yeah.
02:26:19.000 Oh, he was.
02:26:20.000 Yeah, but that's the fucked up thing we're talking about is if he did it. 0.96
02:26:23.000 Oh, and this was 1930 what? 0.99
02:26:25.000 Yeah, and you know what the fucked up part is? 0.89
02:26:26.000 He had to do like four trials to get properly exonerated. 0.97
02:26:29.000 So it ate up his life and he died like a year later from a heart attack.
02:26:32.000 Oh my God.
02:26:33.000 But no, he was...
02:26:34.000 Dude, he created the pie throw. 0.99
02:26:37.000 Think about how fucking crazy that is. 0.99
02:26:39.000 Fatty Arbuckle invented the pie throw in the face. 0.99
02:26:41.000 So what was wrong with Chaplin?
02:26:43.000 I think they thought he was...
02:26:44.000 Is Chaplin like Michael Jordan?
02:26:46.000 No, I think...
02:26:47.000 But seriously.
02:26:48.000 No, I think...
02:26:48.000 If you think about, like, you're that guy back then.
02:26:51.000 You're the comedy guy. 0.99
02:26:52.000 You're the fucking king of comedy. 1.00
02:26:54.000 I don't know. 1.00
02:26:55.000 I think he...
02:26:57.000 I think obviously a genius, but I think also like think of the circles like he rolled with like Einstein.
02:27:03.000 Right, but that's what I'm saying.
02:27:04.000 Remember that speech that he gave in that movie?
02:27:06.000 What was it?
02:27:07.000 The Dictator?
02:27:08.000 What was that movie?
02:27:09.000 I think I don't know his movies that well, but they're playing it every night at the cellar, so I know him silently.
02:27:14.000 There's a speech that he gave that is relevant today.
02:27:19.000 Like this speech about humanity.
02:27:23.000 Do you remember that?
02:27:24.000 I don't.
02:27:25.000 It's brilliant.
02:27:26.000 It's been a while since I've watched this stuff.
02:27:28.000 I mean, I was more into Buster Keaton personally.
02:27:31.000 Well, Buster Keaton was amazing. 0.99
02:27:32.000 The stunts that that guy did, holy shit, man. 0.98
02:27:36.000 Broke his everything. 0.99
02:27:37.000 He broke everything, dude. 1.00
02:27:38.000 That guy was doing wild shit. 0.99
02:27:40.000 He was falling off buildings, going through awnings. 0.99
02:27:43.000 Like, legitimately going through awnings.
02:27:45.000 It's insane.
02:27:46.000 See if you can find that Charlie Chaplin speech.
02:27:47.000 I want to get to Buster Keaton, but there's a speech that he did.
02:27:51.000 Do you know what I'm talking about, Jamie?
02:27:54.000 Let me see what it looks like.
02:27:55.000 Yeah, that's it.
02:27:56.000 Let me hear this.
02:27:58.000 So he's got the Hitler mustache. 0.76
02:28:00.000 Yeah.
02:28:00.000 He looks like Hitler.
02:28:01.000 They've added the Hans Zimmer Inception music to this.
02:28:03.000 I'm sorry.
02:28:05.000 I don't want to be a little more dramatic.
02:28:07.000 That's not my business.
02:28:09.000 I don't want to rule or conquer anyone.
02:28:11.000 Do you want to keep the music?
02:28:12.000 Yeah.
02:28:13.000 No, unless you can find one that doesn't have music.
02:28:15.000 Yeah, I feel like this is going to make it different.
02:28:16.000 Yeah, it definitely does.
02:28:17.000 Yeah, Fatty Arbuckle is definitely framed, though.
02:28:19.000 Here it is.
02:28:20.000 Oh, here it is.
02:28:24.000 Fatty, we got your back.
02:28:25.000 From beyond the grave. 1.00
02:28:28.000 All I have to say is, fuck Fatty Arbuckle. 1.00
02:28:30.000 All I have to say is, not a lot of laughs per minute on that speech. 1.00
02:28:33.000 That's a good point.
02:28:33.000 I don't think that was a comedy.
02:28:35.000 No, no, it was.
02:28:36.000 But it wasn't.
02:28:37.000 What was the movie?
02:28:40.000 The Great Dictator?
02:28:41.000 What was the movie about?
02:28:43.000 I don't know.
02:28:43.000 I don't know.
02:28:44.000 But that was pretty fucking good. 0.98
02:28:45.000 It was good. 0.96
02:28:46.000 And applicable today.
02:28:47.000 It gives you...
02:28:48.000 It actually makes me sad sometimes.
02:28:50.000 Yeah, I mean, about machines. 1.00
02:28:52.000 Holy shit. 0.99
02:28:52.000 But also, it's like, it was so obvious. 0.99
02:28:54.000 They saw the writing on the wall.
02:28:57.000 Yeah.
02:28:57.000 So did Ted Kaczynski, by the way.
02:28:59.000 Yeah.
02:29:00.000 He made a lot of good points when you take out the murder.
02:29:01.000 He did.
02:29:02.000 You take out all the bombings.
02:29:04.000 He was saying the technology was going to replace us.
02:29:06.000 He's right.
02:29:07.000 That's the worst part when these monsters are like, man, but he obviously was a bright mind.
02:29:11.000 That was a satire?
02:29:12.000 It says, 1940 American anti-war political satire, black comedy.
02:29:17.000 Black comedy. 0.89
02:29:18.000 Written, directed, produced, scored by, and starring Charlie Chaplin, following the tradition of many of his other films.
02:29:25.000 Wow, he did everything, man.
02:29:26.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:29:27.000 Of course he was a dick. 0.99
02:29:28.000 If you're doing all those things, you're Steve Jobs, but you're doing it in a movie. 0.99
02:29:31.000 It's the same kind of animal, you know?
02:29:33.000 I don't know, man.
02:29:34.000 I like Louie, you know?
02:29:35.000 Yeah, but he's different.
02:29:36.000 Yeah.
02:29:36.000 Louie's different.
02:29:37.000 Louie does everything.
02:29:37.000 He did everything on Louie.
02:29:39.000 I'm not saying that it's impossible to be like a cool person and also be all those things.
02:29:44.000 It's just harder to do.
02:29:46.000 You know, I get it.
02:29:47.000 I just...
02:29:48.000 I feel like guys like that probably don't have Charlie Chaplin as friends either.
02:29:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:29:53.000 Which I think is one of the critical things about our occupation is that we're constantly surrounded by people like us.
02:29:59.000 Like, we're all kind of very like-minded animals, and we have an appreciation for each other that is very different than most occupations.
02:30:08.000 You know, I have like a reverence for like elite professional comedians.
02:30:12.000 Like I'll do anything for you.
02:30:13.000 Me too, yeah.
02:30:14.000 That's how I feel.
02:30:14.000 I feel like we're all in like a very sacred tribe of there's only like...
02:30:18.000 I always say there's probably a thousand of us on planet Earth.
02:30:21.000 If we're really being kind and generous and giving people like a... 0.94
02:30:27.000 Great amount of curve.
02:30:28.000 The reality is it's probably about 250 that I would want to hang out with that I would say are legit.
02:30:35.000 It's fortunate that we get to be part of this fraternity of comics who are just very cool and luckily most of the people that I've wanted to meet have always ended up being pretty cool.
02:30:49.000 That's nice.
02:30:50.000 Look, there's exceptions.
02:30:53.000 The exceptions I think existed in the TV world.
02:30:55.000 Yeah.
02:30:56.000 Honestly, the exceptions that I encountered, and I don't want to throw anybody under the bus, but there's some people that I like now that in, like, 2001 I wanted to smack.
02:31:05.000 Yeah.
02:31:05.000 You know, there were some people that were, like, really rude and shitty because there was the culture of being rude and shitty that was almost encouraged.
02:31:12.000 Like... 0.93
02:31:13.000 When Phil Hartman came over to news radio from Saturday Night Live, he had this very bizarre kind of anticipation of hostility from other cast members because he was very highly paid.
02:31:27.000 Obviously, I wasn't famous at all when I was on news radio.
02:31:31.000 I was a nobody.
02:31:32.000 I had been on one show called Hardball that was on Fox.
02:31:36.000 That bombed.
02:31:37.000 It aired like six episodes, and I was the star of the show.
02:31:40.000 That show got canceled.
02:31:41.000 I got a development deal with NBC. And all of a sudden, like, dude, I had never taken acting lessons, all right?
02:31:46.000 They made me take...
02:31:48.000 I had to get an acting coach.
02:31:49.000 Like, I was all of a sudden sitting next to Phil Hartman.
02:31:52.000 And I was 27. And he's brilliant.
02:31:54.000 Yeah, he's brilliant.
02:31:55.000 And I mean, like, I had never even thought about being an actor.
02:31:58.000 They just gave me money.
02:31:59.000 And they said, do you want to act?
02:32:00.000 I'm like...
02:32:02.000 What do I have to do?
02:32:03.000 To pretend?
02:32:04.000 I had no experience acting at all.
02:32:06.000 And I did that show.
02:32:07.000 And then Phil Hartman had this distrust of all the other people in the cast.
02:32:12.000 And he had this real arm's length thing.
02:32:14.000 And I... I was always like, dude, you're Phil Hartman.
02:32:17.000 Like, what are you talking about, man?
02:32:18.000 You're the man.
02:32:19.000 Why do you think that was?
02:32:20.000 Saturday Night Live.
02:32:21.000 He told me.
02:32:22.000 Oh, they're trying to take your throats. 0.93
02:32:24.000 Yes, dude. 0.96
02:32:25.000 They were cutthroat.
02:32:26.000 They were cutthroat.
02:32:27.000 The pressure of that show.
02:32:28.000 Weird backstabby ways.
02:32:29.000 Like, they would get your assistant fired. 1.00
02:32:31.000 They would do weird shit. 0.99
02:32:32.000 You were too close to one of the PAs? 1.00
02:32:35.000 Fuck him. 1.00
02:32:36.000 Get him out of here. 1.00
02:32:36.000 Like, one of the other cast members would turn on one of the PAs that you had become friendly with. 1.00
02:32:41.000 I've heard it's tough.
02:32:42.000 We're screaming at each other in the hallway. 1.00
02:32:44.000 Fuck you. 1.00
02:32:44.000 Stealing each other's jokes. 1.00
02:32:45.000 It was creepy.
02:32:47.000 It was creepy.
02:32:48.000 And so Phil and I became friends.
02:32:50.000 And as we became friends, especially after the first season, because the first season was like really long hours.
02:32:55.000 They were trying to work out the show.
02:32:57.000 And, you know, I got to become...
02:32:59.000 We're hanging out 15, 16 hours a day.
02:33:02.000 We're on the set all the time.
02:33:03.000 We get to become friends.
02:33:04.000 And then he just sort of loosened up and explained.
02:33:06.000 It's like a cutthroat environment over there.
02:33:09.000 What a bummer that...
02:33:11.000 That's what that does to you, because I have obviously a great appreciation for Phil Hartman, and I thought that was a great show. 0.98
02:33:18.000 I mean, shit, I watched Jingle All the Way on the holidays. 0.98
02:33:21.000 I fucking loved that movie, Arnold and Sinbad. 1.00
02:33:24.000 He was a great dude, man. 0.99
02:33:25.000 He's a great, great comic actor.
02:33:28.000 He was a funny dude, too.
02:33:29.000 He would do stand-up for the... 0.99
02:33:31.000 He would do warm-ups for the crowd, just fucking around. 0.99
02:33:34.000 He would do his... 0.99
02:33:35.000 He had an amazing Bill Clinton impression.
02:33:37.000 He had a bunch of...
02:33:38.000 But he had a routine.
02:33:39.000 He was thinking about doing stand-up.
02:33:41.000 But he just had a terrible marriage.
02:33:45.000 Poor guy.
02:33:46.000 Terrible.
02:33:47.000 Terrible.
02:33:48.000 And I was the one guy on the show that was like... 0.99
02:33:53.000 Get the fuck out. 0.98
02:33:55.000 Like, right now. 0.97
02:33:55.000 Yeah, you were like, be honest with her. 0.97
02:33:57.000 Tell her what you did, and I'm sure she'll take it really well.
02:33:59.000 No, it wasn't even that.
02:33:59.000 No, I'm kidding.
02:34:00.000 It was the opposite.
02:34:01.000 It was just get away.
02:34:02.000 I know. 1.00
02:34:02.000 I'm fucking around. 1.00
02:34:03.000 She would insult him at parties and stuff publicly. 1.00
02:34:06.000 Like, it was gross.
02:34:08.000 It was scary. 0.99
02:34:10.000 It was like, you know, sometimes the people are together, and they fucking hate each other. 0.93
02:34:13.000 But they, for whatever reason, do not leave each other. 0.89
02:34:17.000 Yeah.
02:34:17.000 And I don't know what it is.
02:34:19.000 I don't know what it is.
02:34:20.000 I don't understand it.
02:34:22.000 But some people, they're just stuck in a pattern.
02:34:25.000 Sometimes they don't see quite how bad it is.
02:34:27.000 Even when your friends point it out, you don't really see it until you get some distance from that relationship.
02:34:32.000 Well, it's also you learn from your parents.
02:34:34.000 And if you come from parents that beat the shit out of each other or scream at each other, throw things at each other, you get accustomed to thinking that's how relationships work, how they function. 0.64
02:34:47.000 It's real sketchy. 0.99
02:34:48.000 Bad parenting is so...
02:34:50.000 I was going to tell you about Fatty Arbuckle.
02:34:53.000 His dad walked out.
02:34:55.000 So what did Fatty...
02:34:56.000 I'm sorry, I don't want to interrupt this part, but I need to know.
02:34:59.000 We should clarify.
02:35:01.000 What did Fatty do? 0.63
02:35:03.000 He was accused of raping and murdering a woman.
02:35:05.000 He didn't do it. 0.81
02:35:06.000 Murdering?
02:35:07.000 Yeah.
02:35:08.000 Wasn't it like a bottle broke inside of her?
02:35:10.000 Yeah, that was the fake thing.
02:35:11.000 That was fake?
02:35:12.000 I read this years ago, but it's...
02:35:15.000 What was it, Jamie?
02:35:16.000 So how did she get murdered?
02:35:20.000 It was a frame-up.
02:35:21.000 I don't know.
02:35:21.000 I don't know who framed him, but someone framed him up.
02:35:24.000 What was the reason for framing him?
02:35:25.000 I don't remember, because I've heard this years ago, but he is innocent, and he was exonerated.
02:35:31.000 But if we could find it, that'd be awesome.
02:35:33.000 I'm reading an article about it right now.
02:35:34.000 It's hard to find, actually. 0.64
02:35:36.000 But he was a dude who his dad fucked him up because his dad walked out on the family and like I think the mother was like mental but he was supposed to be raised by his father so he took his dad owned a hotel and they would like take him take a train to the hotel your dad is where your dad is So his dad hears that he's fucking coming and he sold the hotel and disappeared. 0.86
02:35:58.000 So then he just shows up and is like a fat kid, like 13. He's like, what do I do? 0.98
02:36:02.000 And they're like, we can give you a job here.
02:36:03.000 So he started working at the hotel at like 13. And then he joins, he finds out he's good by joining the talent show.
02:36:10.000 And they're like, this guy's got an incredible voice. 0.95
02:36:14.000 And then he was being silly and funny. 0.81
02:36:15.000 They're like, this guy's like kind of a genius. 0.84
02:36:17.000 He starts becoming like an incredible touring performer.
02:36:20.000 And of course the dad wants back in.
02:36:22.000 Oh, good.
02:36:23.000 Of course.
02:36:24.000 Classic. 0.97
02:36:25.000 But it's like, but yeah, I remember being like, his wife, who he was divorced from, was like, he's fucking innocent. 0.98
02:36:31.000 That like, they divorced on like, not amazing terms, and she's like, he didn't do shit. 0.95
02:36:35.000 So what did they frame him for? 0.95
02:36:37.000 Was he becoming too big of a star?
02:36:39.000 I was trying to read through this.
02:36:41.000 It's explaining the entire story in the Smithsonian article about it.
02:36:45.000 And it's like, it's a long story.
02:36:47.000 Yeah, I'm sorry for bringing this up if I don't fully have a grasp on this.
02:36:50.000 No, it's okay.
02:36:51.000 That happens every day of my life.
02:36:56.000 Okay.
02:36:58.000 Where should we start here?
02:37:00.000 Just right up here.
02:37:00.000 Okay.
02:37:01.000 According to Arbuckle, Fischbach arranged everything from the rooms to the guests to the liquor.
02:37:07.000 Despite prohibition, and on Labor Day, September 5th, 1921, Arbuckle awoke to find that he had many uninvited guests.
02:37:16.000 He was still walking around in his pajamas, bathrobe, and slippers when he saw Delmont and Rapp Oh,
02:37:41.000 just a regular L.A. Under 30 woman. 0.63
02:37:44.000 But the food and booze were flowing by then, the music was playing, and Arbuckle was soon no longer focused on his exhausting work schedule, the burns on his backside, or just who all the guests were. 0.94
02:37:57.000 What happened in the ensuing hours would play out on the front pages of William Randolph Hearst, there you go again, that motherfucker, national chain of newspapers in lurid headlines before Arbuckle had a chance to tell his side of the story. 0.58
02:38:09.000 Virginia Rapp was 25 years old when she arrived at the St. Francis Hospital in San Francisco for a Labor Day weekend party. 0.97
02:38:17.000 Hotel, excuse me, did I say hospital?
02:38:19.000 St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco for a Labor Day weekend party.
02:38:23.000 Maud Delmont soon painted a sinister portrait of the happy-go-lucky portly prince of silent film.
02:38:31.000 This is what she told police.
02:38:32.000 After Arbuckle and Rob had a few drinks together...
02:38:36.000 He pulled her actress into an adjoining room saying, I've waited for you five years and now I've got you. 0.82
02:38:44.000 After a half hour or so, Delmal heard Rap screaming, so she knocked on and then kicked at the locked door. 0.96
02:38:50.000 After a delay, Arbuckle came to the door in his pajamas, wearing Rap's hat, cocked at an angle and smiling, his foolish screen smile. 0.80
02:38:59.000 Behind him, Rap was sprawled on the bed, moaning.
02:39:03.000 Arbuckle did it, the actress said, according to Delmont.
02:39:06.000 Rapp was taken to another room, a doctor was summoned, and he attended to her.
02:39:10.000 He said, this might take forever for me to read this.
02:39:13.000 This was it.
02:39:14.000 She died.
02:39:14.000 That's why I was living it there.
02:39:16.000 She died September 9th of a ruptured bladder.
02:39:19.000 So, what actually happened, though?
02:39:22.000 I don't know.
02:39:23.000 Then I went to the newspapers, and then he turned himself in.
02:39:25.000 Right.
02:39:26.000 And that's where I was like, I think this is getting way too long.
02:39:29.000 Right, but like, what was the actual story?
02:39:32.000 He's charged with manslaughter.
02:39:32.000 That's right, I don't know.
02:39:33.000 So he's charged with manslaughter.
02:39:34.000 We have Roscoe Arbuckle in a hole here, trying to chase, get some, I think they were trying to blackmail him.
02:39:38.000 Hmm, we have...
02:39:40.000 Okay, hold on a second.
02:39:40.000 There's the matter of the telegrams that she sent to attorneys in both San Diego and Los Angeles.
02:39:46.000 We have Roscoe Arbuckle in a hole here.
02:39:50.000 Chance to make some money out of him.
02:39:52.000 Oh, babe.
02:39:53.000 Yeah.
02:39:54.000 Oh, okay.
02:39:55.000 They were trying to railroad him.
02:39:56.000 He was making a million a year in 21. That's a lot of chatter.
02:39:59.000 What was that?
02:40:00.000 Yeah, so they were trying to...
02:40:01.000 A million a year in 1921?
02:40:03.000 What was that money?
02:40:04.000 What's that today?
02:40:06.000 That's got to be like...
02:40:07.000 Let's guess.
02:40:07.000 The doctor who treated Rapp at the hotel testified, she had told him Arbuckle did not try to sexually assault her, but the prosecutor got the point dismissed as hearsay.
02:40:19.000 Whoa.
02:40:20.000 Whoa.
02:40:21.000 So what happened to her?
02:40:23.000 I don't know.
02:40:24.000 Her bladder rupture? 0.73
02:40:26.000 No marks of violence on the body, no signs of a girl have been attacked in any way.
02:40:29.000 Oh, so she might have just had like a... 1.00
02:40:31.000 So she had a chronic bladder condition, according to this.
02:40:33.000 Oh, so she might have just died.
02:40:35.000 Yeah.
02:40:36.000 Fatty Arbuckle was making a million dollars.
02:40:38.000 Before we go any further, let's find out what a million dollars...
02:40:40.000 I'm guessing at least 20. I'm gonna guess more.
02:40:43.000 Maybe 25, 30?
02:40:44.000 I'd say 50 million.
02:40:46.000 Really?
02:40:46.000 Maybe, yeah.
02:40:47.000 A million dollars in 19, 20, 21, in 2024 money?
02:40:50.000 You're probably right.
02:40:51.000 I'd say it's 50 million. 0.99
02:40:53.000 Because inflation is stupid. 0.98
02:40:56.000 It says it's about 15.8 million. 1.00
02:40:59.000 That's it? 1.00
02:41:00.000 Damn. 1.00
02:41:00.000 Damn. 1.00
02:41:00.000 We're both off. 1.00
02:41:03.000 So he was just only minor balling.
02:41:05.000 For a while, yeah.
02:41:05.000 He was probably balling way harder than him.
02:41:06.000 During the Depression, his money would have went down, and then it started going back up.
02:41:10.000 Oh, okay.
02:41:11.000 From the Depression?
02:41:12.000 Yeah, after the 30s, that million he had in 1921 would have only been worth 750K. Oh, wow.
02:41:18.000 1932, so 10 years later, if he just let sit, I guess.
02:41:22.000 Then it went up.
02:41:22.000 Yeah, he was a party animal, but he wasn't a rapist.
02:41:25.000 Or a murderer. 0.98
02:41:26.000 No.
02:41:27.000 So she just had a disease.
02:41:28.000 Yeah.
02:41:28.000 And she died of that disease and they just had him for money.
02:41:31.000 Yeah.
02:41:32.000 Wow. 1.00
02:41:32.000 Dark shit. 1.00
02:41:33.000 It's a book called Frame Up. 1.00
02:41:34.000 It's really good.
02:41:35.000 It's hard to find.
02:41:36.000 He was acquitted the first trial and then they tried to get him again.
02:41:39.000 Jury deadlocked.
02:41:40.000 Third trial, Arbuckle was allowed to call witnesses for the first time.
02:41:45.000 Wow.
02:41:46.000 So we got off, and he made a comeback, but he died like a year after. 0.99
02:41:50.000 The Charlie Chaplin thing and that thing makes me say it's always been fucked. 0.99
02:41:54.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:41:55.000 I mean, it's almost kind of always been fucked. 0.98
02:41:56.000 This is the best time for comedians, dude, because we, like, it's not as, at least with comics, it's like more, as you said, it's more fraternal. 0.96
02:42:04.000 I mean, we're like, we're kind of all cool, and there's so much room now.
02:42:09.000 There's so much room.
02:42:10.000 There were like two of them back then, dude.
02:42:11.000 The people that are complaining about other comics now, it's like, listen...
02:42:14.000 Figure it out. 1.00
02:42:15.000 Figure out your own shit. 1.00
02:42:16.000 Figure it out. 1.00
02:42:16.000 Stop. 1.00
02:42:17.000 Stop complaining about other comedians.
02:42:18.000 Twitter's not your journal. 0.99
02:42:19.000 Chill the fuck out. 0.66
02:42:20.000 And neither is Instagram. 0.99
02:42:22.000 Stop. 1.00
02:42:22.000 Stop being stupid. 1.00
02:42:24.000 Just make it funny if you're going to do that shit. 1.00
02:42:26.000 Just be better than what you are. 1.00
02:42:27.000 Figure it out.
02:42:28.000 Or don't.
02:42:28.000 Or stop doing it.
02:42:29.000 Sell shoes.
02:42:30.000 Attell said that to me once.
02:42:31.000 I was complaining years ago.
02:42:32.000 And he goes, get...
02:42:33.000 Maybe he said to someone else, actually.
02:42:35.000 But he goes, get funnier.
02:42:36.000 I like how he said it was at you. 1.00
02:42:38.000 And then it was like, nah, I'm not that stupid. 0.98
02:42:39.000 I remember it was someone else.
02:42:40.000 But I want to use his name because he's a great comic.
02:42:41.000 So I don't want to put it on him.
02:42:43.000 But...
02:42:43.000 But he didn't mean it like you're not funny.
02:42:45.000 He meant it like, well, you better get funnier.
02:42:47.000 Yeah.
02:42:48.000 Because what else can you do?
02:42:49.000 There's nothing else you can do.
02:42:50.000 That's in your control.
02:42:51.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:42:51.000 Try to be fucking funny. 0.99
02:42:52.000 And all the other things that are out of your control, the more attention that you spend on them, the less attention you will have towards the thing that you can control. 0.98
02:43:00.000 It's that simple.
02:43:01.000 It's like an allocation of resources issue.
02:43:03.000 You can't allocate resources to things that are completely unproductive and, in fact, counterproductive. 0.98
02:43:08.000 They fuck with you psychologically.
02:43:10.000 You get up in the middle of the night. 1.00
02:43:11.000 You go to pee.
02:43:12.000 You think about it. 1.00
02:43:13.000 Fuck. 1.00
02:43:14.000 And then you can't go back to sleep. 1.00
02:43:15.000 You grind your teeth.
02:43:16.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:43:16.000 You have to get a fucking dental procedure. 1.00
02:43:18.000 Not good, man. 1.00
02:43:18.000 Don't be involved in unnecessary conflict. 1.00
02:43:21.000 It's just not good for you.
02:43:22.000 It's not good for anybody.
02:43:23.000 It's not good for that person.
02:43:24.000 It's not good for you.
02:43:26.000 It's not good for the people that you're going to encounter after the conflict.
02:43:29.000 It's not good for the people they encounter after the conflict.
02:43:31.000 There's a butterfly effect that happens with stuff like that.
02:43:33.000 It's pointless.
02:43:34.000 And the business is going to keep changing.
02:43:36.000 That's the thing.
02:43:36.000 This is not what it was 20 years ago.
02:43:39.000 In 10 years, it's going to be different.
02:43:40.000 Think about how big...
02:43:42.000 I think about this all the time. 1.00
02:43:43.000 Comedy Central was the fucking king. 1.00
02:43:45.000 They're useless now. 1.00
02:43:46.000 They're useless. 1.00
02:43:47.000 It's also...
02:43:48.000 What's happening now is a very organic merging of, for lack of a better word, artists.
02:43:57.000 Because we are artists, but we're...
02:43:59.000 It's like...
02:44:00.000 Calling a comic an artist, it's almost like... 1.00
02:44:03.000 For us, it's like, shut the fuck up. 0.98
02:44:04.000 It's not... 0.99
02:44:05.000 It is art, but it's like, it's also...
02:44:07.000 Don't get goofy with me.
02:44:09.000 We're not supposed to be the pretentious ones, and it sounds pretentious.
02:44:11.000 It does sound pretentious.
02:44:12.000 We are looked down upon at the award shows.
02:44:16.000 Yeah.
02:44:16.000 Because they are like, we're artists.
02:44:17.000 I say we should look down upon the award shows.
02:44:20.000 When I saw Joe Coy do that award show, I didn't get upset that Joe Coy didn't...
02:44:24.000 His jokes didn't hit.
02:44:25.000 I got upset that he was willing to do it.
02:44:27.000 Joe Coy, you sell out arenas.
02:44:28.000 Don't do that terrible thing.
02:44:30.000 But you always want to be a part of that club.
02:44:32.000 Don't.
02:44:33.000 Don't do it.
02:44:33.000 First of all, it's your handicap.
02:44:35.000 You're doing it with 10 days notice.
02:44:37.000 That he shouldn't have done. 1.00
02:44:38.000 What kind of goofy ass fucking organizers hire top talent with 10 days? 0.99
02:44:42.000 No one wants to do it. 1.00
02:44:43.000 Remember our shit to Kevin Hart, where they were like, you said the word gay. 1.00
02:44:47.000 Gay jokes in the 90s. 1.00
02:44:48.000 And guess what? 0.99
02:44:49.000 You fucking awarded Roman Polanski, like, man of the year, 15 years ago. 1.00
02:44:53.000 Accused of rape. 0.99
02:44:54.000 So, not accused, he did it.
02:44:57.000 Will Smith slaps Chris Rock on stage, and then they give him a standing ovation. 0.98
02:45:01.000 Disgusting. 0.99
02:45:01.000 The whole thing's ridiculous. 0.99
02:45:02.000 They're ridiculous people. 1.00
02:45:03.000 The point is, it's fucking Sean Award shows. 1.00
02:45:07.000 Any time someone calls us artists, I think of a comic asking an audience member, are you taking a poop or a pee as they're walking to the bathroom? 0.98
02:45:14.000 We're not artists.
02:45:25.000 I bet chefs probably, the pretentious ones, will refer to themselves as artists. 0.98
02:45:30.000 The fucking down-to-earth dudes will tell you I'm a chef. 0.99
02:45:32.000 Those are my least favorite chefs. 1.00
02:45:33.000 Exactly, of course. 0.99
02:45:34.000 The fucking fine dining chefs, you're like, all right, dude, give me something that will fill me up. 0.99
02:45:38.000 Just, you know, there's a fine line where you can cross over into pretentious land. 0.99
02:45:43.000 I think the problem is we got into this to be funny and some people lose sight of that and they start pandering. 0.99
02:45:48.000 I can tell when a comic stops fucking touring. 0.99
02:45:50.000 I can tell when your act, you stop taking it through Missouri. 1.00
02:45:53.000 You gotta take it through every fucking state. 0.97
02:45:55.000 You gotta make this, I don't want to use the word marketable, but you gotta make this palatable for the country. 0.98
02:46:02.000 There's a reason, if I do a joke about New York, It's for everybody.
02:46:06.000 If I do a joke about riding the subway, it's hitting in Kansas City.
02:46:09.000 Because it has to.
02:46:10.000 Otherwise, you're working for your small bubble.
02:46:13.000 And when I see comics put out specials, I can be like, this dude only worked it out in LA or New York or whatever.
02:46:18.000 And you need the road.
02:46:20.000 Because the second you stop relating or remembering what got you into this for the right reason...
02:46:25.000 You're doing it for the wrong reason. 0.94
02:46:26.000 You also have to remember, when you were first starting out, the idea of being on the road headlining a comedy club would be the craziest fucking dream you could ever imagine. 0.79
02:46:39.000 I don't have to go to my day job anymore.
02:46:40.000 Now I get to fly to Cincinnati and go do stand-up comedy to packed crowds.
02:46:47.000 Two shows on Friday.
02:46:48.000 Half packed.
02:46:49.000 Half packed.
02:46:50.000 Pretty good crowds.
02:46:51.000 Yeah.
02:46:51.000 Go bananas.
02:46:52.000 Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday sometimes.
02:46:55.000 It's a dream.
02:46:56.000 It's the ultimate dream, because the idea of being a professional seems so impossible to achieve.
02:47:01.000 Yeah, it felt amazing, and I romanticized the road, as I still do.
02:47:06.000 It was a different thing.
02:47:07.000 It wasn't like, thank God I can do this, to now I'm like, gotta hone it.
02:47:10.000 Well, that was the thing about Jenny. 0.99
02:47:11.000 You know, when I was first doing The Road, one of the things that I would always ask, I was like, who's the biggest douchebag that you had to take?
02:47:18.000 I asked that, too.
02:47:19.000 And it was always Jenny.
02:47:21.000 He just hated it.
02:47:22.000 He hated being on the road.
02:47:23.000 He was a douche to people?
02:47:24.000 Yeah, unfortunately.
02:47:25.000 It's just he was very uncomfortable.
02:47:27.000 Like, obviously, he was...
02:47:28.000 He wanted to be a bigger movie star, right?
02:47:29.000 He wanted to be a movie star.
02:47:31.000 He was a great actor.
02:47:32.000 Well, he was really good in The Mask.
02:47:34.000 Great movie.
02:47:34.000 But really what he was was a great stand-up.
02:47:37.000 But great stand-ups weren't appreciated the way they are now.
02:47:40.000 If Jenny was alive today, he'd be doing arenas. 0.57
02:47:42.000 I mean, that's what would be going on.
02:47:44.000 He would be one of the biggest stand-up comics alive.
02:47:47.000 But during his time, no one did anything other than comedy clubs.
02:47:51.000 There's a few guys, like Sam Kinison used to do Great Wood Center for the Performing Arts.
02:47:55.000 Rodney did that.
02:47:57.000 Bill Cosby did that.
02:47:58.000 But for the most part, stand-up comics did comedy clubs, and that's it, including Jenny.
02:48:03.000 And he just felt like a failure when he was on the road headlining these clubs.
02:48:07.000 What a sad thing.
02:48:09.000 It's crazy.
02:48:10.000 It's crazy.
02:48:10.000 They all wanted the golden egg, and the golden egg was what Roseanne got, or what Tim Allen got.
02:48:15.000 It was a sitcom.
02:48:16.000 That generation doesn't get it. 0.99
02:48:18.000 I did Letterman's show on Netflix, and he was, like, baffled by me putting out YouTube specials.
02:48:22.000 And not in a way that he was so kind.
02:48:24.000 I mean, he was such a nice guy, but I remember he kept asking me, like, I don't get how you make money off this. 0.78
02:48:28.000 Well, I make the money off touring, but he's like, you gotta understand, when I did this shit, it was all about the sitcom. 0.92
02:48:33.000 That was the money. 0.98
02:48:34.000 You know?
02:48:35.000 So, as we said, the industry's changing.
02:48:38.000 Like, A lot of really funny comics were passed over by these industry streamers and then did their own thing.
02:48:45.000 And then, at a certain point, they'll find you.
02:48:46.000 The point is to not get bitter.
02:48:48.000 You look at a guy like Shane Gillis, and did he get bitter? 0.96
02:48:51.000 No, he stayed fucking funny. 0.96
02:48:53.000 He got funnier. 0.99
02:48:54.000 Of course.
02:48:55.000 He even got better when he got canceled.
02:48:57.000 It's just, there's a different world now where there's no gatekeepers anymore.
02:49:02.000 The gatekeepers, they still exist if you want to participate.
02:49:05.000 If you want to do the Comedy Central thing, they still exist.
02:49:08.000 You know, HBO still makes specials.
02:49:10.000 You can do it that way if you choose to.
02:49:12.000 But the gatekeepers of real mass media are now non-existent.
02:49:16.000 It's all just YouTube.
02:49:17.000 So then you have to be careful with whatever YouTube's terms of services are.
02:49:23.000 Because some of them get real squirrely, and you can get banned.
02:49:26.000 The goalpost is moving in.
02:49:27.000 It's moving.
02:49:28.000 They're changing the rules.
02:49:29.000 Like, if you make a Nazi joke now, they're like, did you say the word Nazi?
02:49:31.000 You're like, I was condemning Nazis.
02:49:33.000 Yeah.
02:49:34.000 It was satirical. 0.99
02:49:35.000 But you said the word Nazi in some fucking algorithm that can't detect sarcasm is like, time out. 0.99
02:49:40.000 Yep. 1.00
02:49:40.000 Yep. 1.00
02:49:41.000 Not good.
02:49:41.000 Yeah, not good.
02:49:42.000 It's also, it's clumsy, but it's also, you know, they're fucking, you're dealing with an enormous number of human beings. 1.00
02:49:49.000 You're managing at scale that's impossible to really even wrap our stupid little heads around. 0.98
02:49:55.000 The amount of humans that are like, But which really leads us back to that guy's text message getting intercepted. 0.99
02:50:04.000 Like, are they just doing that with everything?
02:50:06.000 Because it appears they are.
02:50:06.000 If they're doing that in a Snapchat message group, which is supposed to be encrypted, and they find the word, I'm going to blow up this plane, terrorist, whatever, ISIS, Taliban, whatever it is.
02:50:17.000 They see those words, if those words, like, if they get flagged, that means nothing is private.
02:50:22.000 Also, you have to recognize, you want, oh, I want everybody to be safe.
02:50:26.000 Okay, right.
02:50:26.000 But those are human beings, just like you.
02:50:28.000 Just like you having the kind of power that it means to have to access everyone's text messages.
02:50:35.000 That's nuts!
02:50:36.000 That's a crazy power! 1.00
02:50:37.000 And if you're the guy, I mean, I don't care how many checks and balances there are, there's gotta be somebody at the end of that stream that could just read and see all your dick pics. 0.99
02:50:45.000 There's somebody at the end of that stream. 0.98
02:50:47.000 Take good angles.
02:50:48.000 That's a secret.
02:50:49.000 Fluff it up.
02:50:50.000 There's somebody that sees every time you swipe right.
02:50:51.000 There's somebody that sees it all.
02:50:53.000 Yeah.
02:50:53.000 They see everything.
02:50:54.000 And that is probably inevitable.
02:50:58.000 With the bottleneck of technology being interconnectivity, right?
02:51:02.000 And the other problem with that is money.
02:51:05.000 Because if money is just ones and zeros, and it gets to the point where when you get to quantum computing where any sort of encryption is really preposterous, and then people have commercial-grade quantum computing in their house, and you could kind of like, there's no code that can't be cracked,
02:51:21.000 there's no Bitcoin that can't be stolen, and then what happens?
02:51:25.000 Like, what happens then?
02:51:26.000 Like, how do you have money?
02:51:28.000 How can you trust anything?
02:51:29.000 How do you trust anything?
02:51:29.000 How do we trust anything now when these deep...
02:51:32.000 I'm in so many ads for products that I'm definitely not selling.
02:51:37.000 I'm in so many of them, man.
02:51:39.000 People send them to me all the time. 0.99
02:51:40.000 Deepfakes and shit? 1.00
02:51:41.000 Total deepfakes. 1.00
02:51:43.000 But how can you trust not just machines, but any...
02:51:45.000 I remember reading about Leonard Cohen.
02:51:47.000 His manager stole his $5 million retirement fund.
02:51:50.000 That's why he was touring in his 70s.
02:51:53.000 Happens.
02:51:53.000 Happens all the time.
02:51:55.000 Machines, people, I mean like with money and your information, you're putting a lot of trust in either.
02:52:00.000 Yeah, you're putting a lot of trust in a lot of different things.
02:52:03.000 But also, I'm not a communist, and I'm not a socialist, and I'm definitely pro-capitalist, but I envision a future where all of these things,
02:52:18.000 where I think these mechanisms that we have used to achieve power and influence and what Will Storrs had talked about yesterday, the status game, Status.
02:52:30.000 All of these things will eventually lead us to some point in the future where...
02:52:38.000 I mean, it might...
02:52:40.000 We could get to a point where any idea of competition that we're having right now, what human beings enjoy right now, all goes away.
02:52:50.000 And we all become a part of some network.
02:52:53.000 Some network that changes what it means to be a human being.
02:52:57.000 Like human beings...
02:52:59.000 Stop being human.
02:53:00.000 I think we're not that far away from that.
02:53:02.000 And if you look at what we are today versus what Fatty Arbuckle was, imagine you being friends with Fatty Arbuckle back in the day and William Randolph Hearst but also having a YouTube channel. 0.99
02:53:12.000 You're like, look, William Randolph Hearst is a piece of shit. 0.99
02:53:14.000 This is what he did about marijuana. 1.00
02:53:16.000 This is what he did about this.
02:53:17.000 This is what he did to Fatty Arbuckle.
02:53:19.000 This is why they did it to Fatty.
02:53:20.000 This is what actually happened.
02:53:21.000 This is what a woman had a chronic bladder infection. 1.00
02:53:24.000 And, you know, it could be like a big thing.
02:53:26.000 It could be like something everybody talks about.
02:53:29.000 Ruling overturned.
02:53:30.000 But back then, you had no chance.
02:53:32.000 As things move on, it'll be more of that.
02:53:36.000 Well, there's pluses and minuses to more people having voices, right?
02:53:39.000 A lot of minuses.
02:53:40.000 A lot of minuses. 0.99
02:53:42.000 There's a lot of crazy people out there. 0.78
02:53:44.000 There's a lot of legitimately schizophrenic, insane people, aggressive people, sad people. 0.86
02:53:50.000 Like abused people, people that came from terrible childhoods, people that came from, you know, every stretch of the world.
02:53:59.000 And they're all, all they have to do is learn English.
02:54:01.000 And they're just interfacing with you.
02:54:03.000 And they get the worst roll of dice that's available on planet Earth.
02:54:08.000 Yeah.
02:54:08.000 And now, you know, they've killed three people by the time they're 15. You know?
02:54:12.000 And now they're online.
02:54:14.000 Yeah.
02:54:14.000 And that's real too.
02:54:17.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the thing.
02:54:19.000 You get into this for acceptance, right?
02:54:21.000 You get into stand-up because you want to—I don't know, maybe in your mind you're like, this wasn't able to be said in my household, so now in my mind I'm telling the truth on stage.
02:54:31.000 I'm being funny.
02:54:31.000 I'm making strangers laugh.
02:54:33.000 And you're doing this for acceptance.
02:54:36.000 There was rejection before this. 0.99
02:54:38.000 Now it's like the amount of people who could flood your fucking timeline when you make a misstep. 0.98
02:54:42.000 It can be overwhelming. 0.98
02:54:43.000 I mean, I think of that guy John Ronson all the time, right?
02:54:46.000 The publicly shamed guy. 0.95
02:54:48.000 I mean, people know, you should know what you do when you try to fucking destroy a person, but it is exciting. 0.91
02:54:55.000 A lot of people, what they use social media for is to complain and then to try to bury a person. 0.89
02:55:01.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:55:02.000 And it's fucking weird. 0.99
02:55:04.000 It's just a dumb thing to do. 0.99
02:55:06.000 And I think the best thing to do if you're like a public person like yourself is just like never engage in that and also don't read the comments. 0.86
02:55:14.000 Yeah.
02:55:14.000 That's my advice.
02:55:15.000 My advice is always never engage, don't read the comments.
02:55:18.000 If you want to post something, you feel something about something, you want to say something about something, that's fine.
02:55:21.000 But don't be upset about people's response to it.
02:55:24.000 Exactly.
02:55:25.000 It's part of the game.
02:55:26.000 We put ourselves out there. 0.99
02:55:27.000 But it also doesn't mean you have to fucking, while they're throwing fastballs, you have to run across the pitcher and get hit in the head. 0.98
02:55:32.000 You don't have to actually go out on the field. 0.99
02:55:35.000 It is part of the game.
02:55:36.000 You don't have to do that part.
02:55:37.000 That part is not necessary.
02:55:39.000 It's also not good.
02:55:40.000 It's not smart.
02:55:41.000 It's not a good allocation of resources.
02:55:43.000 It's not good psychologically.
02:55:44.000 It's not good for the fans either, because if you actually... 0.90
02:55:47.000 What if they're just having a bad day, man, and they're fucking 18, and they lash out at Sam, or they lash out at Norman, or they lash out at Ari.
02:55:56.000 They're not really bad people, but they're writing something, and it's permanent. 0.96
02:56:01.000 It's out there forever. 0.99
02:56:02.000 And they said some rude shit, and they're trying to get a response. 1.00
02:56:05.000 And then you come back with the most scathing response, and you show pictures of their mom and them, and their fat belly, and you shit all over them online. 1.00
02:56:13.000 This is going far, though. 0.99
02:56:15.000 Right.
02:56:16.000 But we've all known people who have done that, right?
02:56:18.000 And it's just not wise.
02:56:21.000 It's not good.
02:56:22.000 I've done it before. 1.00
02:56:23.000 I've experienced that thing of like, fuck you, no fuck you, you're a fucking loser. 1.00
02:56:27.000 No benefit. 1.00
02:56:28.000 Last message Bob Saget ever sent me, I engage with a fucking psycho and he goes, hey, it's Uncle Bob here. 0.99
02:56:34.000 You're too good a guy to be doing this. 0.99
02:56:36.000 Beautiful.
02:56:37.000 R.I.P. Bob.
02:56:38.000 Sweet guy.
02:56:38.000 He is a very sweet guy.
02:56:40.000 He is a hard one.
02:56:41.000 He was a hard one.
02:56:42.000 I didn't know him well.
02:56:43.000 We were just becoming friends when he passed away.
02:56:45.000 I became friends with him at the store.
02:56:46.000 He was such a sweet guy.
02:56:48.000 He was always a nice guy.
02:56:49.000 Always a nice guy.
02:56:50.000 Always like real, like genuinely warm.
02:56:52.000 Like you come around, everybody like that.
02:56:53.000 We need that. 0.98
02:56:54.000 People who bring positive energy to work are fucking so important. 0.94
02:56:59.000 I've never met anybody who didn't like Saget. 0.93
02:57:02.000 He's always nice.
02:57:03.000 There's like a few guys where I don't know anybody who doesn't like him.
02:57:08.000 Bobby Lee's one of those.
02:57:10.000 You don't like Bobby Lee, I don't like you.
02:57:12.000 I don't like you if you don't like Bobby Lee.
02:57:14.000 Is it safe to say he's maybe the best podcast guest ever?
02:57:18.000 He's amazing.
02:57:19.000 It's insane the energy he brings.
02:57:22.000 He's so funny.
02:57:23.000 I've known Bobby for 30 years. 0.98
02:57:25.000 Damn, I've known him long but I love him. 0.98
02:57:27.000 Close to it. 0.99
02:57:27.000 It's probably close to 30 years. 0.99
02:57:29.000 I brought a friend of mine when he did our podcast, he's an Asian guy I used to live with, and he like worships Bobby, and Bobby just fucked with him the whole day. 1.00
02:57:37.000 And my friend Dory, it was so satisfying for him. 1.00
02:57:40.000 Bobby's like, stop talking to me, fuck you. 1.00
02:57:42.000 And he was like, that was like the best day of my life. 1.00
02:57:45.000 He's such a good guy too, because he's like so honest about all of his like weirdness, his flaws, and like, you know, how he thinks about himself and so vulnerable.
02:57:55.000 Yeah, I love him.
02:57:55.000 Which is also very funny, man.
02:57:57.000 And he's getting ready to do a special, finally.
02:58:00.000 Actually, I think it was when he was on your podcast.
02:58:01.000 I texted him. 0.99
02:58:02.000 I was like, you better put out a fucking special, dude. 0.98
02:58:04.000 And he goes, yeah, why? 0.99
02:58:06.000 And I said, you know why. 0.99
02:58:07.000 Because you're fucking hilarious. 0.99
02:58:08.000 And because... 0.99
02:58:11.000 You deserve it.
02:58:12.000 You deserve to release something and to move on and to suffer a little bit.
02:58:16.000 He's a much better comic than people know in terms of the amount of tickets he sells.
02:58:22.000 Bobby Lee should be doing arenas.
02:58:23.000 He just did an arena with Bert and Tom.
02:58:26.000 He just did the MGM in Vegas.
02:58:27.000 But it's because he's not releasing it.
02:58:29.000 So now that he's releasing it.
02:58:30.000 Yeah, it's like his level's very high.
02:58:32.000 There's a few of those guys out there.
02:58:33.000 Their level's very, very high.
02:58:34.000 They just don't have a lot of stuff out there. 0.99
02:58:36.000 He's told me he's scared to to eat the shit to build a new hour and let me tell you like I'm thinking when I burn this next one I am dreading the shit out of this like I I hate starting from scratch. 0.99
02:58:46.000 Yeah, man. 0.99
02:58:47.000 Just gotta embrace it. 0.99
02:58:48.000 Embrace the suck. 1.00
02:58:49.000 It's fun. 0.99
02:58:50.000 Get in there.
02:58:51.000 Get in there. 0.84
02:58:51.000 It's like jumping in a cold-ass pool. 0.84
02:58:53.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:58:54.000 I fucking hate it, but I gotta jump in the pool. 0.99
02:58:56.000 Yeah, do it every day. 1.00
02:58:58.000 Yeah, just embrace the suck. 0.98
02:59:01.000 That's all it is. 0.92
02:59:02.000 There's a few of those guys out there that just need a little gentle nudge to get into the water, and then Bobby Lee will have a new hour in no time.
02:59:10.000 Because he'll have to.
02:59:11.000 And it'll be better than his hour before because it'll be more representative of how he feels about things right now.
02:59:16.000 And his life is interesting.
02:59:17.000 Yes, he's fascinating.
02:59:19.000 And he's too self-loathing.
02:59:20.000 I'm sorry, Bobby.
02:59:21.000 You gotta love yourself a little more because he's loved, that guy.
02:59:25.000 He has love, but he needs friends around him.
02:59:27.000 And the problem with a lot of us is that we can become islands.
02:59:31.000 I always describe comedians as islands or tribe members.
02:59:34.000 And there's a few of those islands out there that only have one opening act that they take with them.
02:59:39.000 They only do theaters, and they travel around, and every now and then they get to be around comics like us.
02:59:44.000 I'm like, hey, so let's walk in the club.
02:59:46.000 You know, it's weird.
02:59:47.000 There's a few of those guys.
02:59:48.000 I don't want to name names.
02:59:49.000 There's a few of those guys.
02:59:50.000 I don't think it's healthy.
02:59:51.000 I don't think it's a healthy existence.
02:59:52.000 That's literally why I'm still calling it The Cellar, because I just want to see the people, and I love Liz, the manager, and I love Esty.
02:59:58.000 I can't wait to show you the club.
02:59:59.000 I can't wait to show you the club.
03:00:00.000 I can't wait to do it.
03:00:01.000 Because we set it up as best we could to facilitate all that.
03:00:04.000 To make it so that it's like the best environment for comics to hang.
03:00:08.000 The best environment for comics to work.
03:00:10.000 Everything's set up.
03:00:11.000 The staff is magnificent. 0.99
03:00:13.000 Everybody's cool as fuck. 0.98
03:00:14.000 I've heard nothing but great stuff. 0.99
03:00:15.000 It's great, man.
03:00:16.000 It's amazing.
03:00:17.000 But it's also entirely set up for the comics.
03:00:21.000 Entirely.
03:00:21.000 There's not one decision that ever gets made that's to the detriment of the show or the comics feelings.
03:00:27.000 Most comedy clubs that were made by a comic Or often like a comic who quit and has got some bitterness and you're not that guy.
03:00:34.000 So you made it the right way is what I've heard.
03:00:37.000 Well, you know, the best aspects of the store were beautiful.
03:00:40.000 And there was so much to the store that the mothership will never be able to have because the store had this history, this insane history and this legacy to it of Kinison and Pryor and Hicks started there.
03:00:51.000 Hicks was a doorman there.
03:00:52.000 There was so many great, great, great, great comics that came out of that place.
03:00:57.000 And so there's a reason why I have her on my wall.
03:01:01.000 The reason why we named the bar Mitzi's.
03:01:05.000 So we took her philosophy and we just threw a Spotify budget at it.
03:01:12.000 I love it.
03:01:13.000 Let's go ham.
03:01:14.000 Let's do something good for the community of comedy and create, Louis calls it the Alamo.
03:01:20.000 I love it.
03:01:21.000 Yeah, he said, yeah, it's like, that's the thought behind it.
03:01:25.000 It's like, let's do it.
03:01:25.000 Like, if I can do this, and I can do this and I don't feel any pressure, it doesn't bother me at all.
03:01:31.000 I mean, I feel pressure, like, with, like, Staff stuff and shit, this is happening. 0.50
03:01:36.000 There's something wrong with the AC unit. 0.96
03:01:37.000 There's a little bit of that every now and then, but it's not bad.
03:01:40.000 But it's not financial pressure, which is the most intolerable pressure when you don't think you can pay your bills and you're worried.
03:01:45.000 Especially if you're a father. 1.00
03:01:47.000 You're like, shit! 1.00
03:01:47.000 So if that pressure is alleviated, then you can do something that you really want to do. 1.00
03:01:52.000 And I'm like, I want to really do it like fucking Disneyland for comics. 0.90
03:01:57.000 I want to set it up. 0.88
03:01:58.000 So that it's the best environment ever for people to be able to develop and create.
03:02:03.000 And even people starting out, like the doormen, the door people, the door women, they're all auditioned by Egott.
03:02:10.000 So Egott, he auditions them.
03:02:12.000 He sees their act.
03:02:13.000 So they're all comics.
03:02:15.000 He cares, yeah.
03:02:16.000 Yeah, and they get to see Shane Gillis go up.
03:02:19.000 You know, they get to see Howie Mandel stop by, and Jim Gaffigan stop by, and Dave Attell do sets.
03:02:25.000 And the shows that I'm doing on, like, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, it's fucking Ron White's out there, Bryan Simpson, it's crazy. 0.69
03:02:32.000 Tony Hinchcliffe. 0.97
03:02:33.000 I mean, these are murderous shows.
03:02:35.000 They're murderous shows.
03:02:36.000 It's all awesome. 0.98
03:02:36.000 And so these people get to see how we're writing and how we're coming up with new shit and how we change things up. 0.98
03:02:42.000 And it's like this, you get an education that we got at the store. 0.93
03:02:47.000 We all got that at the store from watching, you know, the guys who were there before us.
03:02:51.000 You know, the big names when I was 27 and I first came to the store and I'd see Damon Wayans go up and Eddie Griffin go up.
03:02:57.000 Beast, right?
03:02:57.000 Was Wayans in his prom was killer, right?
03:03:00.000 Wayans was a beast! 0.98
03:03:01.000 Underappreciated man. 0.95
03:03:02.000 The Last Stand.
03:03:03.000 Damon Wayans' HBO special.
03:03:06.000 Funny.
03:03:06.000 That's when he went to the crowd, right?
03:03:07.000 It's when he threw the mic down.
03:03:09.000 He said he was quitting.
03:03:11.000 That guy is a real professional in the sense that he films every one of his shows he has since the 90s.
03:03:18.000 He sets up his own video camera on a tripod and he films every one of his shows.
03:03:23.000 Workout shows, any show.
03:03:25.000 And he is not scared of silence.
03:03:28.000 I used to watch him go up when I was a kid.
03:03:31.000 First of all, I was a fan of his from In Living Color.
03:03:34.000 Homie the clown.
03:03:35.000 I was a fan of his stand-up.
03:03:36.000 I'd seen him on the Robert Townsend thing.
03:03:38.000 Remember Robert Townsend had those stand-up shows?
03:03:40.000 Of course.
03:03:40.000 Hilarious guy.
03:03:41.000 So I was a fan of his already, and then I got to see him work out. 0.95
03:03:44.000 Like at the store in front of like fucking 30, 50 people, you know, small-ass OR crowds. 0.99
03:03:50.000 And he just didn't give a fuck. 0.99
03:03:52.000 He just would find a bit. 0.99
03:03:54.000 He would find where it is.
03:03:56.000 He'd like search around for it.
03:03:58.000 Didn't worry at all about the dead spots.
03:04:01.000 Didn't worry at all.
03:04:02.000 Just he was like, that's my workout room.
03:04:04.000 When a comic has earned that, it's a beautiful thing.
03:04:06.000 Oh, it's a beautiful thing.
03:04:07.000 But it's also the store was low pressure back then.
03:04:10.000 Like the way you were describing the cellar, where you're going on after murderers, it's very difficult.
03:04:14.000 It's tough.
03:04:14.000 Even the young comics there are so good.
03:04:16.000 There's young comics there, like a young comic named Maddie Wiener.
03:04:19.000 She's so funny.
03:04:21.000 Daniel Simonson is so funny. 0.99
03:04:22.000 All these comics, they're just murderers. 1.00
03:04:26.000 So then you're following them with your new shit and you're like, alright. 0.99
03:04:31.000 So I was on a flight coming back here and they're like, what are you doing? 0.99
03:04:35.000 They can sniff the new on you. 0.98
03:04:37.000 What I like to do is like an hour of good jokes, and then I'm like, alright guys, now I'm doing 10 minutes of brand new shit. 0.98
03:04:44.000 Oh, you do it at the end? 0.97
03:04:45.000 I'll preface it, yeah.
03:04:46.000 Oh, interesting.
03:04:46.000 I like to just say, here's my...
03:04:48.000 And then I get the confidence to just work it in.
03:04:51.000 Yeah, you're already killing.
03:04:53.000 Yeah, so I get the confidence.
03:04:54.000 And then I'll mold it in once I get that confidence that it's hitting.
03:04:59.000 Yeah, man.
03:05:00.000 The Cellar is tough.
03:05:01.000 I remember starting there, like, the guys who were really murdering, you know, obviously when Rock would drop in, or, like, Louie.
03:05:09.000 Colin Quinn and Dave Attell were kind of the godfathers of the Cellar. 0.99
03:05:12.000 They were, you know, always had new shit. 0.99
03:05:14.000 They were always interesting. 1.00
03:05:15.000 Colin Quinn's another guy.
03:05:18.000 Criminally underappreciated.
03:05:19.000 He really is, and I don't know why, because I think it's so universal, the history stuff and the New York story.
03:05:24.000 I mean, I love Colin's stuff.
03:05:26.000 When he was at the club, all the door guys were like, dude, it was like an education.
03:05:30.000 He's so good.
03:05:30.000 And he's a great guy.
03:05:31.000 He's a great guy.
03:05:32.000 And he's honest as hell.
03:05:33.000 Yeah, well, that's the same with the tell. 0.99
03:05:35.000 Like, sweetheart guys, because they don't have any excess energy that's being, like, distracted into nonsense and bullshit. 0.92
03:05:43.000 And that's a big factor.
03:05:44.000 I learned so much from Mattel because I used to open for him and he's just the best guy and supportive.
03:05:49.000 I remember a lot of diners leaving him.
03:05:52.000 We'd leave a diner at like 4 a.m.
03:05:54.000 and he orders a nice coffee large and I'm like, Dave, what are you doing?
03:05:58.000 Do you never sleep?
03:06:00.000 Like, he really is. 1.00
03:06:01.000 I'm like, you are this fucking dude. 1.00
03:06:03.000 He functions on coffee and cigarettes. 1.00
03:06:05.000 And when he was doing that show, Insomniac.
03:06:08.000 Incredible show.
03:06:09.000 Oh my god.
03:06:10.000 That show was a great show.
03:06:11.000 And he was like out.
03:06:11.000 It was like rugged Bourdain.
03:06:13.000 By the way, Skanks for the Memories is still one of my all-time favorite CDs.
03:06:15.000 I think it's number one.
03:06:16.000 I think it's the best album ever.
03:06:18.000 It's a great album, man.
03:06:19.000 It's up there with some of the all-time greats.
03:06:21.000 And he recorded that at the Comedy Works in Denver, which is one of the all-time great rooms.
03:06:26.000 Legendary.
03:06:26.000 Legendary room.
03:06:27.000 Geraldo did his last, or did his first one there, I think.
03:06:29.000 Did I tell you?
03:06:30.000 I didn't tell you.
03:06:31.000 Didn't you do a special there?
03:06:32.000 Mm-hmm.
03:06:32.000 Yeah, 2014 did Comedy Central special there.
03:06:35.000 Nice.
03:06:35.000 I had the most bizarre moment.
03:06:40.000 I went to see Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory with my kids.
03:06:43.000 The new one?
03:06:44.000 Yeah, it's really good.
03:06:46.000 I take a leak.
03:06:47.000 I'm leaving the bathroom and I run into this dude.
03:06:53.000 And for two seconds, I think it's Greg Giraldo.
03:06:56.000 He looks exactly like Greg Giraldo.
03:06:58.000 He's just taller.
03:06:59.000 He's like 6'1", 6'2", but he's Greg Giraldo.
03:07:02.000 And I go, what's up?
03:07:04.000 The guy goes, what's up?
03:07:05.000 To me, because it was me.
03:07:07.000 You know, he's like, oh, it's Joe Rogan.
03:07:08.000 And I'm like, hey!
03:07:10.000 And I go, oh, my God, Greg's dead.
03:07:12.000 That's not Greg.
03:07:13.000 So it had to, like...
03:07:15.000 Wow, so you reckon... 0.99
03:07:16.000 What a mindfuck that is. 1.00
03:07:17.000 A mindfuck, dude. 0.99
03:07:18.000 Because in my mind, for a half a second, I thought I saw my friend. 1.00
03:07:25.000 That's brutal.
03:07:26.000 For half a second.
03:07:26.000 My friend has been dead for half a second.
03:07:28.000 And he recognizes you too.
03:07:28.000 That's crazy.
03:07:29.000 It was crazy.
03:07:30.000 It was crazy.
03:07:31.000 You know his son is doing stand-up, Greg Geraldo Jr.?
03:07:33.000 Well, no, I didn't know that.
03:07:35.000 And he's funny.
03:07:36.000 Really?
03:07:36.000 Is he in New York?
03:07:37.000 He's a New York guy, and he was a waiter at the cellar for like a summer job.
03:07:42.000 Oh, Shane told me about this guy.
03:07:43.000 Yeah, so he asked me to do a show, and I was like, I'll do your show.
03:07:47.000 And he put himself on before me, and I watched him. 0.97
03:07:50.000 I was like, thank God you're fucking funny. 0.98
03:07:52.000 Yeah, right? 0.98
03:07:53.000 Thank God, but he is.
03:07:54.000 That's great.
03:07:55.000 And he looks like him, and he's got the mannerisms.
03:07:57.000 Well, Geraldo was revered by us, but he's not so funny.
03:08:02.000 I mean, not so known that it puts pressure.
03:08:04.000 He was very funny, obviously.
03:08:05.000 But not so known that he puts pressure on his son to other people.
03:08:10.000 I don't know.
03:08:10.000 Do you know what I mean?
03:08:11.000 To the regular world?
03:08:12.000 To us, it is.
03:08:13.000 He wasn't mainstream as he should have been.
03:08:15.000 Like Chris Rock's kid. 0.99
03:08:16.000 Chris Rock's kid does stand-up like, holy shit. 0.99
03:08:19.000 Right? 1.00
03:08:19.000 Yeah. 1.00
03:08:20.000 But...
03:08:21.000 Gerardo and I did sitcoms on the same lot.
03:08:25.000 Wow.
03:08:26.000 Yeah, so when I was doing...
03:08:27.000 I think it was news radio.
03:08:29.000 It might have been hard.
03:08:29.000 I think it was news radio.
03:08:30.000 When I was doing news radio, I was right next door to him.
03:08:33.000 So we would hang out together.
03:08:35.000 We were both guys from New York.
03:08:36.000 We both knew each other from Boston Comedy.
03:08:38.000 We both knew each other from the clubs in New York.
03:08:41.000 And we were like, dude, I can't believe we're here.
03:08:43.000 This is crazy.
03:08:44.000 He had his own show.
03:08:45.000 He had a show...
03:08:46.000 The lawyer one, right?
03:08:47.000 Yeah, a lawyer show.
03:08:48.000 Because he was a lawyer originally.
03:08:50.000 That was the thing back then.
03:08:51.000 You would sell whatever you were.
03:08:54.000 I'm really into tools.
03:08:56.000 They'd make a sitcom around you.
03:08:58.000 And that was their thing that they would do.
03:09:03.000 Domestic goddess, Roseanne, bam, make a show about you. 1.00
03:09:07.000 Basically, when you were on stage back then, you were auditioning for a sitcom about yourself.
03:09:12.000 And people got giant deals, man.
03:09:15.000 They got crazy deals.
03:09:18.000 We used to hear about the Just for Last Montreal Fest.
03:09:21.000 They're like, did you get a holding deal?
03:09:22.000 I'm like, I got an agent.
03:09:24.000 Back in the day, it was like a million dollar deal.
03:09:26.000 Not that much, but you get hundreds of thousands.
03:09:30.000 I didn't do another show after news radio for like two years, and I made more money than I did when I was on news radio.
03:09:41.000 Why?
03:09:41.000 I was just getting development deals.
03:09:43.000 Wow.
03:09:44.000 Development deals were crazy money. 1.00
03:09:45.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.99
03:09:46.000 Yeah, because After News Radio, it was like proving that I can act in a sitcom. 0.99
03:09:52.000 Yeah.
03:09:52.000 But could I be the star of a sitcom?
03:09:54.000 So I had a bunch of development deals to star in a sitcom.
03:09:57.000 And I got to experience that world, which is a very bizarre world.
03:10:00.000 But I didn't like it.
03:10:01.000 I didn't like the dealing with all the meetings and all the things.
03:10:04.000 So when Fear Factor came along, I was like, hold on.
03:10:06.000 No actors, no writers at all.
03:10:09.000 Like, what do I have to do?
03:10:09.000 On the show.
03:10:10.000 And also, this is an opportunity for material, because this is going to get cancelled, and I'm going to have a giant bit about this fucking stupid show where they stick dogs on people and made them eat dicks, and the show got cancelled. 0.99
03:10:20.000 And then it goes on forever. 0.97
03:10:21.000 It goes on for six years, and it's 148 episodes.
03:10:25.000 It was so nuts.
03:10:27.000 Wow.
03:10:27.000 But I specifically did it, because I don't want to do this anymore.
03:10:30.000 I don't want to do the fucking... 0.98
03:10:32.000 the grind of what it means to... 0.99
03:10:34.000 I don't know how actors do it.
03:10:36.000 I mean, just the waiting around, the waiting for your phone to ring, like...
03:10:40.000 Well, it's better than working in a coal mine.
03:10:42.000 Of course, but I just mean psychologically.
03:10:45.000 Of course, if you can make a living at it, that's incredible. 0.97
03:10:48.000 Also, you're dealing with people that are psychologically damaged already, most likely, which is why they need exorbitant amounts of attention, which is why they want to be the fucking star in this new Laura Croft movie. 0.98
03:11:00.000 This is a normal thing for psychos. 0.99
03:11:03.000 You got ignored by your dad, and now all of a sudden you're in this fucking crazy movie. 1.00
03:11:09.000 I'll show you, Pop. 1.00
03:11:10.000 And guess what? 0.97
03:11:11.000 It ain't gonna fucking fill the void. 0.96
03:11:12.000 It never does. 0.96
03:11:13.000 You think it will, but...
03:11:14.000 You gotta fill that void on your own.
03:11:16.000 Exactly.
03:11:16.000 But I do think that it's possible for someone, because I definitely think that I came into comedy with a neediness.
03:11:21.000 I was just trying to show that I was worthy of something.
03:11:25.000 And then, eventually, you get confident, and then you realize, well, it's not like...
03:11:32.000 It's not like this can't be turned in a different direction, and then my obsession could now be in getting better at this art, and getting better at this thing that I love, this thing that I enjoy, that's like a really good exchange between audience members and comic.
03:11:48.000 It's a really good exchange.
03:11:49.000 I particularly like it as a fan.
03:11:52.000 I really love watching comedy still, to this day, all these years of doing it.
03:11:56.000 So I know it's a good experience.
03:11:57.000 Do you still watch specials?
03:11:58.000 Yeah, I'll do it occasionally.
03:12:00.000 If I'm home and I have time, I just don't have any time.
03:12:04.000 My time is really strictly allocated.
03:12:08.000 And when I need to shut my brain off, I don't watch specials. 0.77
03:12:11.000 I watch nonsense.
03:12:12.000 I either watch professional pool matches or watch videos on muscle cars.
03:12:17.000 That's what I watch.
03:12:18.000 That's cool. 1.00
03:12:18.000 Stupid shit. 1.00
03:12:19.000 Yeah, no, I get that. 1.00
03:12:20.000 But I do it on purpose.
03:12:20.000 I do it on purpose.
03:12:21.000 I was watching Reacher last night. 0.99
03:12:22.000 I'm like, I need shit like this. 1.00
03:12:23.000 Yes! 1.00
03:12:24.000 I need a dude who just beats dudes up. 1.00
03:12:25.000 Yeah, fuck it. 1.00
03:12:26.000 You can't lose. 1.00
03:12:26.000 He can't lose. 1.00
03:12:27.000 He's gonna fuck you up. 1.00
03:12:28.000 I love that guy. 1.00
03:12:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
03:12:29.000 Well, he's a real Reacher, too.
03:12:30.000 If you read the book, like, that's what Reacher was supposed to be.
03:12:33.000 It wasn't Tom Cruise? 0.98
03:12:34.000 Tom Cruise's thing was ridiculous. 0.53
03:12:36.000 Yeah, but you gotta take the A-list guy in that. 0.76
03:12:38.000 I get it.
03:12:38.000 You have to.
03:12:38.000 We're talking Charlize.
03:12:39.000 You're taking the A-list, too.
03:12:40.000 You have to.
03:12:41.000 But he's supposed to be a giant.
03:12:42.000 Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.
03:12:44.000 That doesn't make any sense.
03:12:45.000 The guy who plays Reacher now, who's that guy?
03:12:47.000 Alan Richson.
03:12:47.000 He's awesome.
03:12:48.000 That guy's Reacher.
03:12:48.000 He's jacked.
03:12:49.000 Perfect.
03:12:49.000 Perfect guy for that.
03:12:50.000 Fucking enormous. 0.99
03:12:51.000 Perfect guy. 1.00
03:12:52.000 And you believe him when he's spouting all the smart shit. 1.00
03:12:54.000 I don't know who's still talking shit to him. 1.00
03:12:56.000 Every episode, someone's talking shit. 0.99
03:12:57.000 I'm like, have you looked at him? 1.00
03:12:58.000 But that's reality, dude. 1.00
03:13:00.000 I've seen people talk shit to some of the most scary fucking human beings that have ever existed. 1.00
03:13:04.000 He's a big dude. 1.00
03:13:05.000 That's an understatement.
03:13:06.000 And he's likable.
03:13:07.000 He's a likable guy on the show.
03:13:08.000 That guy's gigantic.
03:13:09.000 Look at the size of him.
03:13:10.000 He's like six foot five, too.
03:13:11.000 He's huge.
03:13:12.000 He's huge.
03:13:13.000 That's what Jack Reacher was in the novels.
03:13:14.000 Yeah, and then Tom Cruise is like, I want to be Reacher. 0.98
03:13:17.000 Tom Cruise came along like he's fucking 5'8", or whatever he is. 0.99
03:13:19.000 Tom, you're Napoleon. 1.00
03:13:20.000 You're not fucking Tom Cruise. 0.99
03:13:22.000 Yeah. 0.97
03:13:23.000 Tom Cruise is, I got to say, the first Reacher movie is pretty cool with Tom Cruise.
03:13:27.000 He's good in it.
03:13:27.000 It's just like, it's not the same as the book.
03:13:29.000 If you can just get past that, and this guy's just an assassin.
03:13:32.000 Like the Gray Man, you know, the Gray Man series?
03:13:35.000 Which one's the Gray Man? 0.88
03:13:36.000 The Gray Man, was it Ryan Gosling?
03:13:38.000 Did I fuck that up?
03:13:39.000 I get it right! 0.99
03:13:40.000 I always fuck up the Ryans. 0.99
03:13:42.000 Well, they made a movie for Netflix. 0.99
03:13:44.000 But the book, these Mark Greeney books are wild.
03:13:47.000 They're good?
03:13:48.000 They're wild books.
03:13:49.000 Yeah, that's one of my favorite kind of books for like complete escapism.
03:13:53.000 Oh, yeah.
03:13:53.000 It's about a CIA assassin and he's the best.
03:13:57.000 I love that shit. 1.00
03:13:57.000 They call him the gray man. 1.00
03:13:58.000 This is the movie.
03:13:59.000 The movie is...
03:14:00.000 Oh, Chris Evans.
03:14:01.000 I heard of this.
03:14:02.000 Yeah, the movie's okay. 0.98
03:14:03.000 They fucking Hollywooded it up. 0.78
03:14:05.000 But the books are incredible and the audio books are really good. 0.98
03:14:10.000 But that guy was like 170 pounds.
03:14:13.000 He's just a killer. 0.99
03:14:14.000 He's not fucking everybody up in a bar fight. 1.00
03:14:18.000 No, it's a different kind of guy. 0.74
03:14:20.000 This is a guy who knows how to be an assassin, but it's a realistic, especially if you read the book, realistic depiction as far as you can take it of a guy who always wins.
03:14:29.000 Yeah.
03:14:29.000 You know, but it's...
03:14:31.000 Those are fun, though.
03:14:31.000 Those, like, escapists, like a Michael Connelly or something.
03:14:34.000 Just, like, cool badass.
03:14:36.000 We're trapped in this guy's world. 0.99
03:14:37.000 This guy's trying to make it through fucking Eastern Bloc countries with a cache of weapons. 0.99
03:14:42.000 It's fun. 0.99
03:14:43.000 Those are page turners.
03:14:44.000 Yeah, they're wild.
03:14:46.000 And a lot of it has to deal with stories that are, like, actually connected to covert operations that happen overseas.
03:14:53.000 Because there really are people that are assassins for the CIA that they have to send to these countries. 0.97
03:14:59.000 You ever in the bookstore though and you see some of these authors and they have like 45 books and you're like, how the fuck did you do that? 0.98
03:15:05.000 I know.
03:15:05.000 Think about how hard it is to write one book.
03:15:07.000 I think Mark Greeny has, I think he's got six or seven Greyman books.
03:15:11.000 It's crazy.
03:15:12.000 Yeah.
03:15:13.000 How many Greyman books are there?
03:15:14.000 There might be nine.
03:15:15.000 This guy Harlan Coben, I swear to God, this guy's got like 45 books in Barnes& Noble.
03:15:19.000 How about Stephen King?
03:15:20.000 How is he still doing it? 1.00
03:15:22.000 That motherfucker's been cranking them out. 1.00
03:15:23.000 Yeah, it's called cocaine and alcohol. 1.00
03:15:26.000 That's what he had.
03:15:27.000 But he's got a factory, though, doesn't he?
03:15:28.000 I mean, he must have people.
03:15:29.000 Chinese kids.
03:15:30.000 No.
03:15:32.000 Stephen King and iPhones. 0.99
03:15:33.000 They're fucking banging them out. 0.99
03:15:34.000 I hate to encourage alcoholism and drug abuse, but that's when he did his best work. 0.99
03:15:39.000 If you go and read The Shining, he was blackout drunk.
03:15:42.000 Mark Greeney.
03:15:43.000 Book 13!
03:15:44.000 That's crazy, man.
03:15:45.000 The Chaos Agent.
03:15:45.000 This is a new book that just came out.
03:15:47.000 Dude, they're good books, man.
03:15:48.000 I'm going to pick these up.
03:15:49.000 Yeah, I'm going to try it.
03:15:49.000 They're great in audio, too.
03:15:51.000 The audio book is really good, but if you like to read, they're really good.
03:15:53.000 They're just like, for like, Take Me Away.
03:15:56.000 This is like a modern-day James Bond type dude. 1.00
03:15:59.000 Yeah, it's fucking nonsense. 0.99
03:16:01.000 Or a flight. 1.00
03:16:01.000 You're on a flight. 1.00
03:16:02.000 I don't want to read anything about climate change.
03:16:04.000 I don't want to freak out about the economy.
03:16:06.000 I don't want to read about the World Economic Forum.
03:16:08.000 I want to disappear.
03:16:08.000 The Rockefellers.
03:16:09.000 I don't want to hear about it.
03:16:11.000 Military industrial complex.
03:16:12.000 Stop! 1.00
03:16:13.000 You need an escape.
03:16:15.000 Stop.
03:16:15.000 What's really going on in Antarctica?
03:16:16.000 I don't want to know.
03:16:19.000 I don't have time.
03:16:20.000 We're going to be dead soon anyway.
03:16:21.000 Let's just enjoy the ride.
03:16:22.000 Yeah, for sure.
03:16:24.000 I mean, realistically, if this is all true, if you're not living in a simulation, But I'm not convinced anymore.
03:16:33.000 I don't know.
03:16:34.000 I'm not convinced.
03:16:35.000 If I was living in a simulation, and I was living in a simulation that was created just a hundred years from now, I don't think I'm capable of discerning.
03:16:44.000 I can barely tell a deepfake now.
03:16:46.000 Somebody sends me a deepfake.
03:16:48.000 There's one deepfake that's been overwhelming my Instagram feed, and I do not understand how Instagram can't stop this.
03:16:57.000 But it's a deepfake with Warren Buffett talking about investing in Bitcoin.
03:17:01.000 Oh my god.
03:17:02.000 That's like a dangerous one too, huh?
03:17:03.000 Let me show you it.
03:17:04.000 Let me show you it because there's so many of them. 0.99
03:17:06.000 There's so many of them, it's fucking insane. 0.71
03:17:08.000 There's so many of them that every time I go to Instagram, I see them. 0.66
03:17:15.000 See that old one that says the giveaway with the girl's face?
03:17:18.000 Yeah.
03:17:18.000 That's all a deep fake.
03:17:20.000 Oh my god.
03:17:20.000 Yeah.
03:17:21.000 And how does this not get somehow or another flagged?
03:17:26.000 Because if you just say the word Nazi, you get flagged off of YouTube, right?
03:17:31.000 I mean, I don't know, TikTok, YouTube.
03:17:33.000 Whatever it is.
03:17:34.000 They're clamping down for sure.
03:17:35.000 Like what you were just saying earlier.
03:17:37.000 Yeah.
03:17:37.000 So how do they not flag this down?
03:17:39.000 I'm going to send it to you right now, Jamie.
03:17:41.000 Probably because it's a more obvious flag if there's a trigger word as opposed to just a fake video.
03:17:46.000 These accounts appear to be operating in a coordinated network as they mass upload the same crypto videos under obscure hashtags.
03:17:54.000 See the one that I sent you, Jamie, because this one in particular, this one just overwhelms my feed.
03:18:00.000 I see it constantly.
03:18:02.000 And the one that I just sent you, it's like, I just don't understand how you can't stop that.
03:18:07.000 This looks almost like that one in the picture I just showed.
03:18:10.000 But it's a different image on the first image when you click on it.
03:18:14.000 I keep seeing, this thing is like, you know how you just keep seeing the same image over and over again, and you know that's it, this Bitcoin thing.
03:18:21.000 So give me some volume on this so I can hear it.
03:18:23.000 So this is fake?
03:18:24.000 Yeah, 100%.
03:18:25.000 Can you refresh it?
03:18:26.000 Well, this one was only five minutes ago.
03:18:28.000 Yeah, listen, they're constant, man.
03:18:30.000 Well, that's why I can't take care of them is because I just keep uploading it.
03:18:32.000 It's about $12,000.
03:18:34.000 I promised to give away my fortune, and I'm doing it.
03:18:37.000 Do not miss the opportunity that will change your life.
03:18:44.000 So it's a Bitcoin correct.
03:18:45.000 Warren Buffett, can you tell us about your spontaneous decisions lately?
03:18:48.000 Yes, of course.
03:18:49.000 I am launching a Bitcoin giveaway.
03:18:51.000 Take part.
03:18:52.000 If you want to change your future, go to the website, howedge.com, enter promo code GIFT, and enjoy your prize of 0.3.
03:19:00.000 Yeah.
03:19:00.000 Wow.
03:19:01.000 Yeah.
03:19:01.000 So there's like, I don't know how many accounts that are uploading that same thing.
03:19:05.000 So easy to do people.
03:19:07.000 And over and over.
03:19:07.000 Yeah.
03:19:09.000 There's a certain percentage of this country that has an IQ of 85 and under.
03:19:15.000 Right?
03:19:15.000 What did we say it was?
03:19:16.000 Was it 16%?
03:19:17.000 Yeah, it's standard deviation or whatever.
03:19:20.000 16% that have no chance.
03:19:22.000 They have no chance.
03:19:24.000 It's Bushwick Bill versus Mike Tyson.
03:19:25.000 There's no chance.
03:19:26.000 The world is too cruel.
03:19:28.000 It's too difficult to navigate.
03:19:30.000 They're not going to make it.
03:19:30.000 They're going to drown.
03:19:32.000 So with those people, they might have a job or they might have social service money.
03:19:36.000 They might have some way that they can...
03:19:38.000 I'm going to invest in Bitcoin and I'm going to make my way out of this mess. 1.00
03:19:42.000 This guy's a moron. 1.00
03:19:43.000 He can't help himself. 1.00
03:19:44.000 He's got a nine-watt brain.
03:19:46.000 And it's never gonna change.
03:19:47.000 It's never gonna get stronger. 1.00
03:19:50.000 Genetically, he's fucked. 1.00
03:19:51.000 Supposed to be a ditch digger. 1.00
03:19:52.000 And then they get him. 1.00
03:19:53.000 And so they get 50 bucks from that guy, and 100 bucks from this guy, and 1000 bucks from that guy, and 5000 from this moron. 0.99
03:19:59.000 How do they get away with it though? 0.99
03:20:00.000 Isn't there a way to track this?
03:20:01.000 I think they just do it from other countries and they do it with so many different accounts and they do it to a separate website.
03:20:07.000 It's another video.
03:20:10.000 It's the same exact video, same exact audio.
03:20:12.000 Look at this, but it says Warren Buffett has decided to whiten his reputation by just giving money away at the end of his life. 0.98
03:20:20.000 May sound fun, but don't lose the fucking opportunity. 0.98
03:20:25.000 Look at that! 0.99
03:20:25.000 So that's like they're tricking you to getting mad at him for being rich, and it's a different website. 0.99
03:20:29.000 So there's probably thousands of these websites, and probably all the money goes into the same account. 0.98
03:20:35.000 Holy shit. 1.00
03:20:35.000 And they're probably extracting who knows how much money from how many morons. 1.00
03:20:39.000 It's also, I remember hearing this, not how recently this was, but a couple years ago, that as the rest of the world has been coming online and getting access to broadband, internet, and faster and faster, we've had for like the last 15, 20 years, All the scams that we've been having happen to us are now happening en masse to them, 0.98
03:20:56.000 like the Nigerian print scam, if you will.
03:20:58.000 That's like the most famous one, someone reaching out.
03:21:01.000 Now they're using deepfakes to do that, but it's happening to the people that just got the internet.
03:21:06.000 They'll get people for a while.
03:21:08.000 Oh yeah, forever.
03:21:09.000 Yeah.
03:21:09.000 They're getting us today.
03:21:11.000 Yeah. 1.00
03:21:11.000 People are always getting got by these fucking stupid things. 1.00
03:21:14.000 There's always something that comes along. 1.00
03:21:16.000 Whether it's, you know, fucking the crypto guys from the Bahamas, FTC. I mean, how many people did they get? 0.96
03:21:25.000 They got, like, very intelligent people.
03:21:27.000 So many.
03:21:27.000 Yeah.
03:21:27.000 You look at people who are just catfishing, I'm like, you're just doing it for the love of the game.
03:21:31.000 Catfishing is still just... 0.99
03:21:32.000 That's a fucking weird one. 0.98
03:21:33.000 That's a sport. 0.99
03:21:33.000 That's a sport. 0.99
03:21:34.000 Yeah, it's like catch-and-release fishing.
03:21:37.000 You don't get anything out of it.
03:21:39.000 You just like, you love this.
03:21:41.000 You just love to dupe someone.
03:21:42.000 You love to dupe some sad kid from Syracuse. 1.00
03:21:45.000 Or some fucking horny athlete. 1.00
03:21:48.000 Wow, yeah. 1.00
03:21:49.000 What's his name? 1.00
03:21:51.000 Fucking... 1.00
03:21:51.000 That was a great Netflix thing. 1.00
03:21:53.000 Mante Teo. 1.00
03:21:54.000 Did you see that shit? 1.00
03:21:54.000 Oh, I heard about that one. 1.00
03:21:55.000 How'd they get him?
03:21:56.000 Just like a sweet kid, too.
03:21:58.000 It was some woman who was like, wouldn't meet him.
03:22:01.000 But he's like a college athlete.
03:22:02.000 He's too busy anyway.
03:22:03.000 And then, you know, you got to meet the person, though.
03:22:06.000 I think something happens when people connect with people online where you develop this, like, very bizarre attraction to them because you don't really know them yet in person.
03:22:15.000 Sure.
03:22:16.000 And you're communicating back and forth.
03:22:17.000 You're both putting forth your best face.
03:22:20.000 And if you're a young athlete who's, like, a football player and this lady's saying all the right things...
03:22:26.000 Untold, the girlfriend didn't exist.
03:22:28.000 Yeah, like out of touch.
03:22:28.000 Poor guy.
03:22:30.000 Yeah, he didn't know.
03:22:31.000 I mean, he's like a sweet kid, too.
03:22:32.000 And by the way, there's a Netflix thing on him, and he comes out looking great, and the guy who catfished him, you're like, this is a psychopath.
03:22:40.000 No remorse.
03:22:41.000 Right.
03:22:41.000 That's a terrible person.
03:22:43.000 The idea is that you're allowed to do that to a person you don't even know because that person's famous.
03:22:47.000 Like, you're allowed to destroy their life and do something horrible to them just because they're famous.
03:22:51.000 That's crazy.
03:22:52.000 But also, you also have to deal with, like, why couldn't he see that coming?
03:22:56.000 Why couldn't he recognize?
03:22:58.000 And then you have to take into account- He's a kid.
03:23:00.000 Yeah, and he's a football player.
03:23:02.000 Okay?
03:23:03.000 You know, you're colliding heads with people all the time.
03:23:07.000 Yeah.
03:23:07.000 All the time.
03:23:08.000 All the time.
03:23:09.000 You know?
03:23:12.000 It's not healthy.
03:23:13.000 Football is probably the most dangerous sport there is.
03:23:15.000 I mean, when you look at the blackouts and the CTE, what offensive linemen have to deal with, I think it's probably the most vicious sport we have.
03:23:22.000 That explains Shane Gillis.
03:23:25.000 I do.
03:23:27.000 I'm not kidding.
03:23:28.000 That explains Kinnison.
03:23:30.000 Did he play football?
03:23:31.000 No, he got hit in the head by a car.
03:23:33.000 That's right.
03:23:34.000 Yeah, so did Roseanne.
03:23:36.000 There was a comedian on Kiltonila recently that he was funny.
03:23:40.000 He's new.
03:23:41.000 He's a young guy from Austin, but he was telling a story recently over a pandemic.
03:23:43.000 He fell off of a balcony, landed on his head, broke his face.
03:23:47.000 All his teeth are fake.
03:23:48.000 I was listening to that.
03:23:50.000 I was like, oh, this is going to be another guy.
03:23:51.000 He's probably going to be a hilarious comedian, but life probably changed because of a head injury.
03:23:55.000 Well, it's not guaranteed you're going to be funny.
03:23:57.000 No, no, no.
03:23:58.000 I'm not recommending you hit by a car.
03:23:59.000 No, he didn't do it on purpose.
03:24:00.000 This isn't Spider-Man.
03:24:02.000 It just happened.
03:24:04.000 You're trying to nail it? 0.99
03:24:05.000 You're like, let me just fucking hit my head proper. 0.99
03:24:07.000 No, no, no. 0.99
03:24:07.000 That's not how I said it. 0.99
03:24:09.000 That's not how I meant it.
03:24:09.000 Yeah.
03:24:10.000 You're either going to be mentally challenged or you're going to be fucking a pretty solid open mic-er. 0.99
03:24:16.000 Yeah. 1.00
03:24:17.000 We'll see.
03:24:18.000 I think I attribute some of my success to brain damage.
03:24:21.000 Yeah?
03:24:21.000 Yeah, it's probably something there.
03:24:22.000 Do you take a lot of hits?
03:24:23.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.99
03:24:24.000 But it's enough that I'm cognizant, I'm aware, but I also have a level of don't give a fuck that's probably not healthy. 0.98
03:24:31.000 It might be healthy. 0.98
03:24:33.000 But it needs to be managed all the time with strenuous exercise and Voluntary difficult things like cold plunge and sauna.
03:24:42.000 I need to do stuff.
03:24:44.000 You need to be active.
03:24:45.000 You're a doer.
03:24:46.000 I need to force this brain into violent activities on a regular basis. 1.00
03:24:51.000 To fucking keep it in check. 0.99
03:24:52.000 But I think there's a certain amount of brain damage that's not bad. 0.99
03:24:57.000 Just a touch.
03:24:58.000 Just a touch of autism.
03:25:00.000 Touch of brain damage.
03:25:02.000 I think you made comics healthier.
03:25:05.000 No, that's good.
03:25:06.000 I think you did.
03:25:06.000 You made me want to be healthier.
03:25:08.000 That's good.
03:25:08.000 When I was here last time and I was like, yeah, I gotta take care of myself.
03:25:11.000 Holy shit. 0.98
03:25:12.000 Like, you were so nice about that that I was like, yeah, I should fucking, I should watch this a little bit. 1.00
03:25:17.000 You gotta think of your body as your vehicle. 0.98
03:25:19.000 And if you have, like, a Nissan GT-R, you could take a GT-R and you could put a fucking big-ass turbo in it and make 900 horsepower. 0.98
03:25:27.000 Like, why wouldn't you do that? 0.98
03:25:28.000 Wouldn't it be better if it works better?
03:25:29.000 Why?
03:25:29.000 Because I'm in a strip mall in Indianapolis.
03:25:31.000 That's why.
03:25:32.000 Yeah, but still, you want energy.
03:25:35.000 No, you're right.
03:25:36.000 The energy of your mind is directly connected to the energy of your body. 0.99
03:25:40.000 And we want to pretend that it's not because there was like a time of intellectual snobbery where taking care of your body was thought as vain and stupid. 1.00
03:25:48.000 It's a moron's approach. 1.00
03:25:50.000 No, you made people healthier, I think, in a way where you're like, no, this is smart. 1.00
03:25:56.000 Yeah, dude, I'm pushing 60. I'm 56 years old.
03:25:59.000 You don't look it.
03:26:00.000 But that's possible.
03:26:02.000 I'm not doing anything crazy that other people can't do, too.
03:26:05.000 You can do it.
03:26:06.000 You just have to be on top of it.
03:26:07.000 And you have to not let your body degrade.
03:26:09.000 Because once your body degrades, building your body up is very, very, very, very, very hard.
03:26:13.000 But maintaining your body is not as hard.
03:26:16.000 Yeah.
03:26:16.000 You just have to be, like, really dedicated to it.
03:26:18.000 The same way you're dedicated to brushing your teeth.
03:26:20.000 Same way you're dedicated to eating food.
03:26:22.000 Don't you eat food every day?
03:26:23.000 Yeah.
03:26:23.000 Yes.
03:26:23.000 Well, that's because you have to, right?
03:26:25.000 Stay alive.
03:26:25.000 You also have to exercise.
03:26:27.000 You should exercise a minimum five days a week, I think.
03:26:30.000 I think that's smart.
03:26:31.000 I mean, look, when we were on the road, we did a tour bus last year a few times, and we'd be out 14 days or whatever at a time.
03:26:36.000 Every day we would wake up in a new city, we'd hit a rec center, we'd play basketball, we'd do whatever, we'd steam, we'd shower, we'd get breakfast.
03:26:45.000 Big way to start the day.
03:26:46.000 Great way to start the day.
03:26:46.000 And we'd drink at night, but guess what?
03:26:47.000 We'd sweat it the fuck out.
03:26:49.000 Take some electrolytes, get some liquid IV, pound it, pound some vitamins and glutathione.
03:26:54.000 Yeah, you can mitigate it. 0.99
03:26:56.000 And you can also, like, give your body more of a chance to be robust while you're traveling and avoid sickness and avoid fatigue and all the shit that fucks with bad shows. 0.98
03:27:08.000 When you have that feeling backstage, you feel like shit and then you gotta go on stage. 0.99
03:27:11.000 I hate it. 0.99
03:27:12.000 That's a terrible feeling.
03:27:13.000 I mean, back in the day, three shows.
03:27:15.000 Remember the three-show nights?
03:27:16.000 Oh! 0.60
03:27:16.000 Oh my god. 0.60
03:27:17.000 The three-show nights were so squirrely for me because I'm a marijuana proponent, and I would often forget.
03:27:22.000 Did I bring this up already?
03:27:23.000 This is the third show.
03:27:24.000 Is this the second show? 0.99
03:27:25.000 Sober is fucking hard, but if you're high? 0.98
03:27:27.000 And then when you lock in, like when you lock in and you're doing stand-up, you're just in it, right? 0.99
03:27:32.000 You're in those bits.
03:27:33.000 But then if you're freeballing, which often you're likely to do if you're doing three shows, you want to make it interesting, so you mix up the order.
03:27:40.000 And you're like, oh my god, I don't know where I'm going with this.
03:27:43.000 Well, you find new bits.
03:27:44.000 Yes!
03:27:45.000 And also, I would do, like, start with coffee, end with booze.
03:27:47.000 Like, ride the caffeine high.
03:27:50.000 Exactly.
03:27:50.000 If I'm doing something long, I want to feel both highs, and I want to feel good.
03:27:54.000 That's a good move.
03:27:54.000 I want to enjoy myself.
03:27:55.000 That's why I'm terrified of Adderall.
03:27:57.000 I'm terrified of any stimulants. 0.96
03:27:59.000 Stimulants scare the shit out of me. 0.73
03:28:01.000 They work. 0.99
03:28:01.000 I used to take it all the time, and holy shit, I might have to when I have to start writing a new fucking hour. 0.99
03:28:07.000 Are they good for creativity? 0.99
03:28:09.000 I love it.
03:28:09.000 I block out everything.
03:28:11.000 I just focus.
03:28:12.000 I already have voices in my head.
03:28:15.000 What kind of voices?
03:28:16.000 Just like, joke idea, joke idea.
03:28:17.000 Like, you know, so when I'm writing, I can't, it's too much and I can't write, but if I pop an Adderall, I can, like, focus on, I'll read an article, I'll be like, what's funny about this?
03:28:25.000 That'll, like, warm me up.
03:28:26.000 Listen to my set. 0.99
03:28:27.000 I'm gonna struggle to write a new fucking hour. 0.99
03:28:30.000 What's the dose? 0.99
03:28:31.000 I don't remember.
03:28:32.000 It's, uh, I gotta get new ones, actually. 0.98
03:28:35.000 All my shit's old. 0.99
03:28:35.000 You get a prescription? 0.99
03:28:36.000 I do, yeah.
03:28:36.000 That's good.
03:28:37.000 You don't want to get it from the cartel. 1.00
03:28:40.000 I don't want that shit. 1.00
03:28:42.000 I know people who do! 1.00
03:28:43.000 I know people who get street drugs.
03:28:45.000 They take, like, street molly.
03:28:46.000 Like, what are you doing, man?
03:28:47.000 I need to get back. 1.00
03:28:48.000 I haven't had it in a while because I've been kind of honing this hour, but when I need a new hour, fuck. 0.99
03:28:52.000 I'm just dreading it. 0.98
03:28:53.000 Starting at zero, dude.
03:28:55.000 Yeah, but you always do it.
03:28:56.000 You always do it, but it's always...
03:28:58.000 It's a wonderful, terrifying feeling because you have to be a rookie all over again.
03:29:02.000 Like, people know you.
03:29:04.000 They love you.
03:29:05.000 They're fans.
03:29:06.000 They come to see you, and you're a rookie. 0.99
03:29:07.000 It's crazy to suck again. 0.98
03:29:09.000 I'm like, man, and it's also because you're coming off the high of murdering, because you're at last hours, you're at your peak, so you're like, this is as good as I get. 1.00
03:29:16.000 And then it's gone, and you're like, I'm shit. 1.00
03:29:18.000 I'm fucking shit. 1.00
03:29:20.000 That's the game we play, my friend. 1.00
03:29:21.000 But I love it.
03:29:22.000 Yeah, it's beautiful.
03:29:23.000 So you're going to film your thing in March, right?
03:29:25.000 And then it'll come out around May?
03:29:28.000 Hopefully, we'll see.
03:29:29.000 We'll see what they say.
03:29:30.000 You'll come back.
03:29:30.000 We'll promote it then.
03:29:31.000 I would love that.
03:29:31.000 Thank you, Joe.
03:29:32.000 100%.
03:29:33.000 Always great talking to you, man.
03:29:33.000 You're awesome, dude.
03:29:34.000 Thank you very much.
03:29:35.000 Appreciate you, brother.
03:29:36.000 Thank you, man.
03:29:37.000 Social media, website.
03:29:38.000 Yeah, and I'm doing a new thing called punchup.live slash Sam Morrell, my name.
03:29:43.000 And that's like a mailing list that I've been doing. 0.96
03:29:45.000 I've been putting like new shit. 0.99
03:29:45.000 Spell it out for people so they don't fuck it up. 0.99
03:29:47.000 Punchup.live slash S-A-M-M-O-R-R-I-L. And it's like a place where I just put new shit that YouTube will flag. 0.99
03:29:55.000 So I'll put like a more offensive joke there sometimes. 0.97
03:29:58.000 I'll do whatever.
03:29:59.000 But it's like a fun place.
03:30:00.000 And in exchange, just give me your email so I can blast when I come to your city.
03:30:03.000 Beautiful.
03:30:03.000 Beautiful.
03:30:04.000 That's a good move.
03:30:05.000 That's very smart.
03:30:06.000 That's very smart.
03:30:07.000 Alright, and then all the tour dates are up there.
03:30:09.000 Yeah, I'm in Irvine.
03:30:10.000 I don't know when this comes out.
03:30:11.000 Irvine next week, we added shows.
03:30:13.000 Salt Lake City Wise, guys.
03:30:14.000 Another awesome club.
03:30:15.000 I'll probably add a late Thursday there, too.
03:30:17.000 Improv in Irvine. 0.99
03:30:18.000 Awesome fucking club. 1.00
03:30:19.000 Yeah, we added a 330 there. 1.00
03:30:20.000 I've never been to Bricktown in Oklahoma, so I guess fine.
03:30:23.000 It's great.
03:30:23.000 I love it, yeah.
03:30:24.000 This is like a really good network of solid clubs.
03:30:27.000 I only do really good rooms at this.
03:30:29.000 Thank God I'm at a place right now where I can only kind of choose the good ones.
03:30:32.000 But yeah, then Wilbur's going to be... 0.98
03:30:34.000 Wilbur's fucking happy. 0.97
03:30:34.000 Wilbur's awesome. 0.97
03:30:35.000 Wilbur's like three comedy clubs in front of each other because it's so shallow, but it's stacked.
03:30:39.000 That's a great room.
03:30:41.000 All right, Sam, appreciate you, brother.
03:30:42.000 Thank you, Joe.
03:30:42.000 All right, bye, everybody.