The Joe Rogan Experience - March 13, 2024


Joe Rogan Experience #2118 - The Black Keys


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 16 minutes

Words per Minute

170.01869

Word Count

33,352

Sentence Count

3,798

Misogynist Sentences

88


Summary

On this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the boys talk about guns and the dumbest things cops have ever said to them, and the weirdest things they have ever done with them. Also, the first time they ever fired a gun and it was not a good one. Joe talks about his first time with a gun, and why he doesn t have a license to own one. The boys also talk about gun control and the crazy things they ve done with guns in their youth, and how they feel about it now that it s legal to own a gun in the United States. They also talk a little bit about the recent mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado, and what they would do if they were able to get their hands on one of those guns, and if they could do anything about it, what would they do about it? The boys finish off the episode by talking about their favorite movies and TV shows they've ever watched, and who they'd like to see as a movie star in the future. Enjoy! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thanks for listening and supporting the pod! -Jon Sorrentino and the crew at Manifesto Records. Thank you so much for making this podcast possible, Jon and the support you've shown us throughout the years. We really appreciate it. If you like the pod, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and we'll send us some love and support the pod on iTunes. . We'll be looking out for you in the next week with a new episode of the next episode. - Jon Rogan Podcast. and the next one is coming out soon! Jon Rogans Podcast - Tom and the Crew at the Podchaser Podcast. Thank you. Jon & the Crew Jon and The Crew at The Jerrods Podcast - Thank you for all the love and respect and support. Tom and The Jerrod & The Crew. Joe Rogans - Tom Rogan Thanks to: and The Boys at The Podchans Podcasts Podcasts Project. & The Jerrow Project Thank You for all of the Effin' Podcasts & The Jerose Experience And the Crew @ , , and The Crew and @ ( )


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:12.000 There was a cop guarding our car behind the theater yesterday, and we asked him if it was okay if I smoked one, and he said, you should probably wait.
00:00:21.000 You should probably wait is a funny thing for a cop to say.
00:00:27.000 Yeah, it's tricky.
00:00:30.000 So stupid.
00:00:34.000 The dumbest of laws.
00:00:35.000 Yeah.
00:00:36.000 Without a doubt.
00:00:37.000 The number one dumbest of laws.
00:00:39.000 There's nothing that's even close to that one.
00:00:42.000 That one's so stupid.
00:00:43.000 Well, all the shit that is legal.
00:00:45.000 It's just a matter of time, I think.
00:00:49.000 We can only hope.
00:00:51.000 It's legal in like 20 states or something now.
00:00:55.000 Was it like 19 or something, Jamie?
00:00:58.000 23. 23 states.
00:01:01.000 Ridiculous.
00:01:03.000 But there's a lot of shit you can do here that you can't do anywhere else.
00:01:05.000 You can have a zebra.
00:01:06.000 You can have a cult.
00:01:09.000 You can have a zebra.
00:01:12.000 You can concealed carry with no license.
00:01:17.000 You don't have to have a concealed carry license here.
00:01:19.000 It's constitutional carry.
00:01:21.000 So leave them little old ladies alone.
00:01:22.000 How many states have that?
00:01:24.000 Quite a few now.
00:01:26.000 Quite a few.
00:01:26.000 Florida has it.
00:01:28.000 There's...
00:01:29.000 I want to say there's 19 states that have that now.
00:01:31.000 Ohio just passed it.
00:01:32.000 Damn.
00:01:33.000 Well, you know, there's a lot of fucking crime going on out there.
00:01:36.000 And there's some places where it's difficult to get a license to carry.
00:01:41.000 I'm surprised in Ohio they allow that.
00:01:45.000 I'm not familiar with any gun law.
00:01:48.000 Ever.
00:01:48.000 At all.
00:01:49.000 I just don't have a gun.
00:01:52.000 I have a pellet gun.
00:01:53.000 Wow.
00:01:56.000 Have you ever shot a gun?
00:01:57.000 Yeah, I did.
00:02:00.000 It scared the shit out of me.
00:02:01.000 I mean, I was a Boy Scout and stuff, but my friend bought a Mauser, is that what it's called?
00:02:05.000 A German rifle.
00:02:08.000 I mean, this guy's kind of a total character.
00:02:11.000 He got into World War II reenacting.
00:02:13.000 Oh no.
00:02:14.000 And was a Nazi.
00:02:16.000 Oh no!
00:02:17.000 Oh no!
00:02:18.000 Did he at least try to lose?
00:02:21.000 I don't know, man.
00:02:22.000 It was a whole different thing he would do that he never really discussed with us.
00:02:26.000 We bought this Mauser and we took it to the range, indoor range.
00:02:31.000 The pin, I guess, was replaced to fire only blanks.
00:02:35.000 So we were trying to shoot it and it was hitting the bullet but not firing.
00:02:39.000 So the guy at the shooting range was like, here, just shoot this.
00:02:43.000 He handed us a 9mm or a.45 semi-automatic with a Magazine.
00:02:53.000 And he didn't really show us how to use it.
00:02:56.000 And I, you know, I emptied the thing into the range and I've pulled it, the trigger, and just, you know, I thought it was done and I handed it to my friend like this.
00:03:04.000 And he's like, what the fuck?
00:03:05.000 And I was like, what?
00:03:05.000 And he just pulled the thing and put it in the chamber and I was, I left the room and I was, I'm done.
00:03:13.000 Well, that's a scary thing.
00:03:15.000 That makes sense.
00:03:16.000 But someone should 100% show you.
00:03:19.000 Yeah, that wasn't...
00:03:20.000 Let's be honest, though, most of the time it's like that.
00:03:22.000 Yeah.
00:03:23.000 I mean, the first time I ever fired a gun was, like, in a basement.
00:03:26.000 Some guy had a gun, and he was shooting into, like, some homemade shooting range in the basement.
00:03:33.000 I fired a gun once when I was really young, but then when I moved to California, I bought a gun, and I went to the range.
00:03:40.000 And I remember the first time I went to the range...
00:03:42.000 The sound is so terrifying.
00:03:45.000 Like when you walk into the, and you hear the boom, boom.
00:03:49.000 And you realize each one of those could end your life easy.
00:03:53.000 Oh yeah.
00:03:53.000 And it's just happening all around you.
00:03:55.000 And you're just like hoping these people next to you keep their shit together.
00:03:59.000 Yeah.
00:03:59.000 Because one of the ranges that I went to out in LA, it was a rifle range and it had a bunch of different ranges on it.
00:04:07.000 It's a big outdoor place.
00:04:09.000 One guy just went there and shot himself right after I'd been there.
00:04:13.000 I was there like a week before.
00:04:15.000 Some guy just came there and decided this was going to be a good place to commit suicide.
00:04:19.000 I wonder why.
00:04:21.000 I don't know.
00:04:22.000 I don't know why you would do that.
00:04:23.000 Or maybe he didn't plan on it and then once he got there he started shooting guns and he's like, you know what?
00:04:28.000 I'm done.
00:04:30.000 Yeah, it seems like a weird place to...
00:04:31.000 What a fucking doofus.
00:04:33.000 Yeah.
00:04:33.000 I mean, maybe wanted everybody to know.
00:04:36.000 It was just low IQ. You know, some guns are like.357 or something.
00:04:40.000 It's like scary.
00:04:41.000 It's like all jagged and fucking kicks back.
00:04:45.000 Yeah.
00:04:45.000 It's fucking scary.
00:04:47.000 Yeah.
00:04:47.000 The ones that really scare me, though, are the ones that are like...
00:04:51.000 Smooth.
00:04:52.000 No kickback, really.
00:04:53.000 That's kind of freaky.
00:04:55.000 If you shoot one of those speed guns, like a staccato, there's a plant out here in Texas.
00:05:02.000 We went to visit it.
00:05:03.000 They're so precisely machined.
00:05:06.000 Their tolerances are so small.
00:05:08.000 When that thing slides, it's like...
00:05:10.000 You're shooting a 9mm, and it feels like you're shooting a.22.
00:05:13.000 I know.
00:05:14.000 It's amazing.
00:05:15.000 There's zero kick to it.
00:05:18.000 I shot a musket in Boy Scouts.
00:05:20.000 No!
00:05:20.000 Yeah.
00:05:21.000 It just was like sparks just flying down.
00:05:27.000 I left a hole like this big in the target.
00:05:29.000 But my brother sent me some ring camera footage from his...
00:05:33.000 He lives in West Cleveland.
00:05:35.000 He's like, check this out.
00:05:37.000 And I watched it, and it was.
00:05:39.000 And he's like, I turned the volume up, and it was just fully automatic.
00:05:42.000 It comes fire in the background.
00:05:44.000 And I was like, what the fuck?
00:05:46.000 Dude, he's like, yeah, dude, it's an automatic assault rifle going off in my neighborhood last night.
00:05:51.000 Jesus Christ.
00:05:52.000 It sounded insane, dude.
00:05:54.000 Yeah.
00:05:54.000 Cleveland.
00:05:55.000 Well, it's not just Cleveland.
00:05:57.000 That's out here, too.
00:05:58.000 I was at a friend of mine's house.
00:05:59.000 You could hear in the background.
00:06:03.000 This is just like Rambo style.
00:06:06.000 Jesus.
00:06:08.000 God, my friends and I went to go see whatever the first Rambo was that they made after the 30-year hiatus.
00:06:16.000 The funny one?
00:06:18.000 Yeah.
00:06:18.000 The new one?
00:06:19.000 It's like, I don't know if they made more than just that, but the last three minutes of it, he kills like 800 people or something.
00:06:27.000 It's just so insane.
00:06:30.000 I heard the newest Rambo is preposterous.
00:06:33.000 Joey Diaz said it's hilarious.
00:06:35.000 He goes, it's fucking hilarious.
00:06:37.000 You gotta watch it.
00:06:38.000 It's a masterpiece.
00:06:42.000 You know, it's this crazy cartoonish good guy, bad guy thing from like the 80s, which looks so out of place.
00:06:50.000 But he still makes those movies the same way.
00:06:53.000 Like, if you go and watch, try to go watch- Didn't make any adjustments?
00:06:56.000 No adjustments for the times!
00:06:58.000 No evolution.
00:07:00.000 If you go back and watch, like, those old movies, they're so ridiculous.
00:07:04.000 Go watch Red Dawn.
00:07:05.000 That would be like if we made the exact same record right now that we did with the first record.
00:07:10.000 Yeah, but the problem is, like, movies are different than music, because some old music is dope as fuck, right?
00:07:17.000 Like, and then I guess some old movies are dope, too.
00:07:21.000 Hell yeah.
00:07:21.000 I got pretty into some later, more recent era, Steven Seagal stuff, like five, six years ago.
00:07:32.000 My friends and I would watch it because it was just so insanely bad.
00:07:37.000 And then Dan sent me a link to the Come Town guys talking about these same films.
00:07:43.000 And it was like, they summed it all up so perfectly, but it was basically like, you know...
00:07:50.000 One of the funny things is like he's so old and his special forces team that he assembles all has to be kind of his age, which means their commander has to be like 80. Oh my god!
00:08:03.000 So they show the commander, he has a white mustache.
00:08:07.000 That's hilarious.
00:08:09.000 Tom Segura had a whole bit about Seagal.
00:08:11.000 Dude, I heard a story about him from someone who would know, and they said that this super agent, he was the personal trainer of this super agent.
00:08:20.000 Michael Hovitz.
00:08:21.000 Yeah.
00:08:22.000 He had a bet with another agent that he could make anybody famous.
00:08:28.000 And they're like, well, how about your trainer?
00:08:32.000 And I guess they asked him to learn a martial art or something?
00:08:38.000 No, no, no.
00:08:39.000 That's not it?
00:08:39.000 That's not it.
00:08:40.000 No, Steven Seagal is a legit Aikido specialist.
00:08:43.000 Right.
00:08:43.000 And that's the art of de-arming someone?
00:08:46.000 So it is?
00:08:47.000 It was invented for samurai to fight against someone with a sword.
00:08:52.000 So it's all about like a redistribution of energy.
00:08:56.000 It's all about I commit to you and then you throw me to the ground.
00:09:01.000 The problem with that is if someone doesn't commit, someone just fucking grabs you, wrestles you.
00:09:06.000 You're a Division I wrestler against an Aikido guy.
00:09:08.000 You're done.
00:09:09.000 The Aikido guy has zero chance.
00:09:11.000 There's not a chance in hell you're gonna stop Daniel Cormier from taking you down.
00:09:15.000 There's zero chance.
00:09:17.000 Hamzat Tsumayev grabs you, you're going for a ride 100% of the time.
00:09:22.000 That's the other fucking awesome thing, too, that Seagal, in the later films, where he doesn't even get up out of the chair, he just...
00:09:29.000 He does the shit and throws people down.
00:09:33.000 They come at him and he just fucks him.
00:09:35.000 Is he not, dawg?
00:09:35.000 So this is Seagal when he was younger.
00:09:39.000 Seagal was the first American to run a dojo in Japan.
00:09:43.000 Now this is later.
00:09:44.000 This is actually later because he's already got wacky hair.
00:09:47.000 Just his posture.
00:09:48.000 He's so disrespectful.
00:09:50.000 Well, it's the whole idea behind him is that he was an American who spoke Japanese.
00:09:57.000 He's married to a Japanese woman.
00:09:59.000 He ran a dojo in Tokyo or somewhere in Japan.
00:10:02.000 But it was very unusual for an American to be running a dojo.
00:10:07.000 But I think it was because he married the woman.
00:10:10.000 It's ridiculous.
00:10:11.000 The stuff where he's like...
00:10:13.000 Have you seen the clips of him in Belarus eating the carrots and stuff?
00:10:18.000 He's eating carrots?
00:10:20.000 Yeah, he's hanging out with the president or dictator of Belarus, but it's amazing.
00:10:28.000 Jamie, find the older footage.
00:10:30.000 The older footage.
00:10:32.000 Just eating carrots?
00:10:33.000 I'll watch this.
00:10:34.000 Look at the way he dresses.
00:10:37.000 Watch this.
00:10:38.000 Thank you.
00:10:40.000 It's so insane.
00:10:42.000 His hair is insane.
00:10:44.000 Of course, someone edited that, so he's like deep-throating the carrot.
00:10:48.000 Watch, he makes a good, like, tit joke about the melons here.
00:11:00.000 That's nice!
00:11:05.000 That's the weird thing about old actors that are kind of at the end of the journey and they start appearing in foreign countries and meeting people.
00:11:14.000 I want to meet Steven Seagal.
00:11:15.000 Bring him to me.
00:11:17.000 And then all of a sudden he's a Russian citizen.
00:11:19.000 He's got a passport in Russia, like no bullshit.
00:11:22.000 Yeah, he's a Russian citizen.
00:11:23.000 Right.
00:11:25.000 Mr. Putin's always been amazing to me.
00:11:29.000 There's a weird thing with this.
00:11:31.000 This is him when he was young.
00:11:33.000 So this is before the movie days.
00:11:36.000 This is him teaching Aikido.
00:11:38.000 This is cool.
00:11:39.000 This is much better, right?
00:11:40.000 But it's also not real.
00:11:42.000 Like, that shit doesn't work.
00:11:44.000 It's like, if you learn Aikido, you can do some of those things.
00:11:49.000 That was such bullshit.
00:11:50.000 He just threw the guy behind his back.
00:11:51.000 The clips from the last couple years when he's doing it, it looks preposterous, really.
00:11:58.000 It's a lot of preposterousness to Aikido because the people are playing along with it.
00:12:01.000 They're going along with it.
00:12:02.000 So that's real.
00:12:04.000 It's also, you know, that kind of martial art is like, you don't really know how to fight.
00:12:12.000 It's like learning a language, but you only learn conjunctions.
00:12:17.000 You only learn ands and buts and the, and you learn a couple of vowels.
00:12:22.000 So it's how we speak Spanish.
00:12:24.000 It's worse.
00:12:24.000 It's worse.
00:12:26.000 You just can't only do that.
00:12:31.000 If you want to learn how to do that for funsies, yeah, it's fun to do.
00:12:35.000 But don't think that this is going to really work.
00:12:39.000 There's shit that they didn't know.
00:12:40.000 It fucking worked for him.
00:12:42.000 Well, it would work if someone had a sword.
00:12:43.000 The thing is, like, the Japanese samurai, they knew how to fight.
00:12:47.000 And then that would be an art that they would train in just to learn how to disarm sword-carrying weapon, you know, like someone who's got something, a spear, something that's gonna get you.
00:12:59.000 You lost your sword in battle, there has to be a strategy for that.
00:13:02.000 So the Japanese came up with Aikido.
00:13:04.000 There's this dude that makes these dioramas that are out in insane detail.
00:13:12.000 And the whole time he's telling a story.
00:13:15.000 And it's funny as hell.
00:13:16.000 I forget his name.
00:13:16.000 Something Fingers.
00:13:17.000 But he does one of Steven Seagal.
00:13:20.000 And it's depicting this scene that apparently happened where Steven Seagal had told some legendary martial artist guy that he couldn't be choked out.
00:13:31.000 Gene LaBelle.
00:13:32.000 He told the story on my podcast.
00:13:34.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
00:13:35.000 So he does these things.
00:13:36.000 Yeah, right.
00:13:37.000 Apparently, he choked him out instantly and he shit his pants.
00:13:44.000 Gene told the story on the podcast.
00:13:45.000 Oh, really?
00:13:45.000 Okay.
00:13:46.000 Yeah.
00:13:47.000 But this guy's true.
00:13:48.000 True story?
00:13:48.000 It's a true story.
00:13:49.000 Gene's a legend.
00:13:51.000 Gene LaBelle was...
00:13:53.000 He was a judo champion and he was like one of the first guys to do mixed martial arts fights.
00:14:01.000 Like he had a fight with a boxer.
00:14:04.000 Like, way, way back in the day.
00:14:06.000 And just strangled this boxer and put him to sleep.
00:14:09.000 But he made the boxer wear a gi, I think.
00:14:11.000 Pretty sure.
00:14:11.000 And he wore a gi, too.
00:14:13.000 Like, there was some weird funky rules.
00:14:15.000 The boxer had the boxing gloves on, he didn't, he just beat the shit out of the dude.
00:14:19.000 But he was the guy that also trained Bruce Lee.
00:14:22.000 He taught Bruce Lee about grappling.
00:14:24.000 Like Bruce Lee had, you know, he was doing these movies and it was a little unrealistic, like some of the things, and Gene LaBelle was like, let me show you what I can do to you.
00:14:33.000 He just kind of grabs Bruce Lee and fucking hoists him over his head and is like, listen, settle down.
00:14:40.000 Like, let's not pretend you're the baddest motherfucker on earth.
00:14:43.000 But does that shit look good in movies, though?
00:14:46.000 That type of fighting?
00:14:47.000 No.
00:14:47.000 Well, this is him fighting this boxer dude.
00:14:49.000 Does it look like the boxer of gloves?
00:14:50.000 It doesn't, does it?
00:14:51.000 Yeah, he does.
00:14:52.000 He's got small gloves.
00:14:53.000 So what he's got essentially on are bag gloves.
00:14:56.000 And Gene just threw him to the ground and fucking strangled him.
00:14:59.000 He just choked him to sleep.
00:15:00.000 Wow.
00:15:02.000 But Gene's a gorilla.
00:15:03.000 I mean, that dude, he's a tank of a man.
00:15:06.000 You know, even as an old man, some dudes in his neighborhood were fucking with someone's car.
00:15:12.000 And he said, hey, get the fuck out of here.
00:15:14.000 And they were like, fuck you, old man.
00:15:15.000 He's like, okay.
00:15:17.000 Beat the shit out of the three of them.
00:15:19.000 It was like at least two guys.
00:15:21.000 I don't remember the entire story, but some poor fucking idiot wound up messing with literally the wrong old man.
00:15:30.000 The one wrong old guy to fuck with.
00:15:32.000 I hope I didn't fuck that story up.
00:15:33.000 But he's the guy that choked Seagal out.
00:15:36.000 So Seagal was like claiming that he couldn't be choked.
00:15:39.000 And his move was when you put the rear naked choke on, he hits you in the balls.
00:15:44.000 And the idea that you're going to do that to Gene LaBelle.
00:15:47.000 Like, you don't think he's been hitting the balls before?
00:15:50.000 Getting hit in the balls sucks, but it doesn't, like, knock you out.
00:15:55.000 It just sucks.
00:15:56.000 Makes your grip even harder around the neck.
00:15:59.000 And you also have, like, a three-second window before it really sucks.
00:16:03.000 You know?
00:16:04.000 Like, the delayed reaction of getting kicked in the balls.
00:16:06.000 You know?
00:16:07.000 There's that weird moment where you get hit and you're like, oh, no, here it comes.
00:16:11.000 Ugh!
00:16:13.000 By the time Gene's already put you to sleep.
00:16:16.000 I never got fully kicked there.
00:16:18.000 Never?
00:16:19.000 Only, like, grazed.
00:16:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:16:23.000 I mean, I've got three brothers, so there's a lot of ball kicking.
00:16:28.000 Dude, I just realized what your shirt says.
00:16:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:16:34.000 Harvard University with a photo of the Unabomber.
00:16:37.000 Oh my god.
00:16:38.000 My friend Brendan makes these.
00:16:40.000 That's amazing.
00:16:41.000 I know.
00:16:41.000 That's the best thing about the shirt is it takes like an hour for someone to notice.
00:16:45.000 I didn't even read it before.
00:16:46.000 I was just saying hi and then I realized that fucking story is the craziest.
00:16:50.000 Did you see that Netflix documentary on the Unabomber?
00:16:53.000 No.
00:16:53.000 I didn't.
00:16:54.000 Oh, it's nuts, man.
00:16:56.000 When he was a baby, he had some sort of a disease and so they had to take him to a hospital and he wasn't allowed to have contact with people.
00:17:03.000 Oh.
00:17:03.000 So his parents weren't allowed to see him.
00:17:05.000 No one was allowed to see him.
00:17:06.000 I think it was for like months.
00:17:08.000 And for a baby to not be touched for months just cracks you.
00:17:15.000 So then this poor fuck goes to Harvard and they enroll him in the LSD studies.
00:17:21.000 And their goal is to see what, like, constant humiliation will do to a person while you're dosing them up with LSD. So they're all mean to him, and they're, like, humiliating him, and then this guy decides to go to Berkeley,
00:17:36.000 become a professor to make enough money so he can kill everyone.
00:17:40.000 Insane, dude.
00:17:42.000 It just goes and lives in the woods!
00:17:44.000 Those LSD experiments are hard to believe.
00:17:47.000 Hard to believe.
00:17:48.000 Yeah.
00:17:48.000 Yeah.
00:17:49.000 Well, I wonder what's going on right now.
00:17:52.000 If they were doing that then, do they just say, well, let's just stop?
00:17:56.000 Yeah.
00:17:57.000 I mean, there's probably experiments that are going on right now that we're going to find out about 20 years from now.
00:18:03.000 Oh, for sure.
00:18:03.000 Absolutely.
00:18:04.000 For sure, right?
00:18:05.000 Oh, yeah.
00:18:06.000 There's no way.
00:18:07.000 I was talking to...
00:18:09.000 This chick at a party the other day, and she's talking about she has a house on Shelter Island off of Long Island, and how this really weird animal was fucking with her dog, and she was describing it, and I was like, sounds like the Montauk monster.
00:18:26.000 She had a beak and wallaby legs.
00:18:30.000 I was like, you know, there's that Plum Island research facility right near where your house is.
00:18:37.000 And she's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:18:39.000 I was like, I don't know.
00:18:42.000 Center for Disease Control has some weird island.
00:18:46.000 Will they do experiments out there?
00:18:48.000 I don't know.
00:18:49.000 I think it's like a mutant platypus?
00:18:51.000 Imagine if they created an animal and just said, let's just let it lose and see long before people find it.
00:18:56.000 I got a house in South Carolina.
00:19:00.000 It's like a second home.
00:19:01.000 And I started getting into like looking at like old houses, like old plantation houses to see.
00:19:08.000 Like when they would come up for sale, I would go look just to see like what, you know, because I was into the history.
00:19:12.000 And I looked at this one that was on St. Helena Island.
00:19:17.000 It was really, you know, cool.
00:19:19.000 It was a house from 1795. But as I was driving back, I was kind of like with the realtor.
00:19:27.000 I was looking around.
00:19:28.000 I realized there's this island right next to this place called Morgan Island.
00:19:32.000 Have you heard of this place?
00:19:33.000 No.
00:19:34.000 It's like, you know, five miles from where I was just at.
00:19:38.000 It's filled up with rhesus monkeys that all have herpes.
00:19:42.000 Oh, I have heard of this.
00:19:44.000 What?
00:19:46.000 They feed them by dropping shit from a helicopter.
00:19:49.000 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:19:49.000 If you go to the island, you have to quarantine for months.
00:19:53.000 Because there's these viruses that are just rapidly mutating on the island.
00:19:59.000 Oh my god!
00:20:01.000 Nothing good happens on the island.
00:20:03.000 I'm just like...
00:20:04.000 Someone has a private island, there's nothing good happening on that island.
00:20:09.000 Once you have your own island, that's like, you're off the deep end.
00:20:15.000 Like, any story sounds so much sketchier if it's on an island.
00:20:20.000 Well, maybe the Unabomber would have been more chill if he had an island versus a cabin.
00:20:26.000 He'd probably just be shooting people from the island.
00:20:28.000 Just messages in a bottle.
00:20:30.000 Long range rifle from the island.
00:20:31.000 You could have just intercepted all of his packages.
00:20:33.000 He would never know.
00:20:36.000 Right.
00:20:37.000 Hey, Ted's sending out packages.
00:20:39.000 Keep an eye out for him.
00:20:42.000 It's funny that his brother recognized that it was him.
00:20:45.000 His brother read the manifesto and go, oh, I know who the fuck this is.
00:20:49.000 He must have some vocal tick that just drives his brother, drove him nuts, and he's like, fuck.
00:20:57.000 Well, his brother was a part of the documentary.
00:20:59.000 His brother recognized what happened to him.
00:21:02.000 You know, that his brother knew about the childhood, the medical issue that he had where they couldn't touch him for months.
00:21:10.000 So his brother knew he was fucked.
00:21:12.000 Well, see, if they chose him to, like, humiliate on LSD, there must have been someone that they, like, praised endlessly.
00:21:17.000 Right.
00:21:18.000 On LSD. And maybe that's, like, where...
00:21:20.000 That's Manson.
00:21:21.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:21:21.000 That's where you get the cult leader.
00:21:23.000 That's David Koresh and Manson.
00:21:25.000 Well, they definitely did something with Manzan, too.
00:21:27.000 Did you ever read that book, Chaos, by Tom O'Neill?
00:21:30.000 Have you heard of it?
00:21:30.000 I haven't, but I haven't read it.
00:21:32.000 I buy a lot of books that I don't read.
00:21:33.000 It's good on tape, if you want to just listen to it.
00:21:36.000 Okay, that's a better idea.
00:21:37.000 Which makes it way easier.
00:21:38.000 Yeah.
00:21:38.000 It's a bananas book.
00:21:40.000 And the guy who wrote it is my friend's neighbor.
00:21:42.000 So my friend Greg, who I started comedy with, Greg Fitzsimmons, was neighbors with this guy in New York, and then neighbors with him in Venice.
00:21:50.000 And this guy has been writing this one fucking story for 20 years.
00:21:55.000 He got hired to write it as like an anniversary piece on the death of the Manson murders.
00:22:00.000 And...
00:22:01.000 As he's writing, he's like, there's so much wrong with the story.
00:22:04.000 And so he goes into this deep investigation of it, and he fucking becomes obsessed for 20 years.
00:22:09.000 This guy can't finish publishing this story.
00:22:11.000 And then it becomes a book, and a book deal.
00:22:13.000 And then they bring in an editor, and finally they piece it.
00:22:15.000 He's got enough for another book, he said.
00:22:17.000 But it's all about the CIA. Like, the CIA met Manson when he was in prison.
00:22:23.000 These same guys that met Jack Ruby after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald.
00:22:28.000 Mm-hmm.
00:22:28.000 And they taught Manson, essentially, how to run a cult.
00:22:33.000 They gave him LSD, they dosed him, they told him...
00:22:37.000 Like, many times, Manson apparently would not take the LSD, but he would give it to everybody else.
00:22:41.000 And then while they're on acid, he's manipulating them.
00:22:44.000 And then turn them into murderers.
00:22:46.000 And the whole plan was just to...
00:22:49.000 They were trying to attack the anti-war movement.
00:22:52.000 And the best way to do it was like, instead of making this hippie movement, like this beautiful thing we should all embrace, love and peace, let's make it violent psychos that cut babies out of pregnant women and write pig on the wall with their blood.
00:23:07.000 Let's do that.
00:23:08.000 And so they did that.
00:23:09.000 And it worked.
00:23:11.000 It's insane.
00:23:12.000 It's insane.
00:23:14.000 And that's what they used to pass that Psychedelics Act in 1970. That's those same tactics.
00:23:20.000 The whole idea was stop the anti-war movement.
00:23:22.000 Stop the civil rights movement.
00:23:25.000 It's crazy.
00:23:26.000 This is our government.
00:23:28.000 We worked at a studio last year in...
00:23:34.000 In Los Angeles that apparently Manson recorded a bunch of stuff at.
00:23:38.000 And it was crazy because this studio, it's called Valentine Studios, this guy built it like in the early 60s.
00:23:47.000 He was a Capitol Records producer and he built his own studio so he could do shit outside of Capitol Records.
00:23:54.000 And I guess he's into jazz.
00:23:56.000 Capitol Records is famous, world famous.
00:23:58.000 It's got these echo chambers that are unique to it and very special.
00:24:02.000 And he had the blueprints for the originals and just created copies of the studio.
00:24:08.000 Apparently, as the music scene turned more to rock, the guy just got completely fed up with...
00:24:13.000 Because he was used to cutting four songs in a day and now they've got a bunch of stoners working on one guitar solo for eight hours.
00:24:20.000 So apparently he just mothballed the place in the early 70s and used it as a storage facility.
00:24:27.000 He was into cars.
00:24:29.000 He was into those little Nash Metropolitan cars.
00:24:33.000 So it had all these Nash parts, and then the guy passed away, and someone got wind that the studio was there.
00:24:40.000 And so this dude, Nick, cleaned it all out.
00:24:43.000 So when you go to the studio, it looks exactly like it did in 1969. It's insane.
00:24:48.000 Time capsule.
00:24:49.000 We were in the room, and I'm sure it looked exactly the same way as it did when Manson was in there.
00:24:54.000 Oh, yeah.
00:24:54.000 Have we ever played Manson's music?
00:24:59.000 Can we play it?
00:25:01.000 Would that be a problem with Spotify?
00:25:02.000 There's no way that someone owns a copyright demands this music.
00:25:05.000 100% someone owns a copyright.
00:25:06.000 That's definitely what you would own a copyright to.
00:25:09.000 Did Guns N' Roses put a cover of one of his songs on a Spaghetti Incident album?
00:25:17.000 Did they?
00:25:17.000 I think they might have.
00:25:19.000 I know that a lot of punk rock guys became millionaires because of that.
00:25:22.000 It's all punk covers.
00:25:26.000 No shit.
00:25:27.000 They funded their retirement fund for a lot of punk guys.
00:25:31.000 Charles Manson, Guns N' Roses.
00:25:33.000 Yeah.
00:25:35.000 Wow.
00:25:36.000 That would have generated...
00:25:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:25:53.000 Boy.
00:25:54.000 Pretty great stuff.
00:25:57.000 But that's Guns N' Roses covering it.
00:26:00.000 I wonder what the real album sounded like.
00:26:02.000 Did we open for them a couple months ago?
00:26:05.000 Guns N' Roses?
00:26:05.000 Uh-huh.
00:26:06.000 At the Hollywood Bowl.
00:26:08.000 And like, the whole deal was like, their friend came to us and was like, this would be cool.
00:26:13.000 Like, they'll play for like an hour and a half, you'll play for an hour.
00:26:16.000 You'll go on at like 7.30.
00:26:18.000 Neither of us have ever played the Bowl.
00:26:20.000 Yeah, so it was perfect.
00:26:22.000 Then we fly away to L.A. and our set time is 6 p.m.
00:26:28.000 Literally, we're playing to a dude in the front eating a hot dog.
00:26:32.000 It's just so insane.
00:26:35.000 And then they play for three hours.
00:26:36.000 And they played for three hours, but the craziest part of the whole thing was that I lit a cigarette up backstage and there was no smoking.
00:26:48.000 They're smoking bad.
00:26:50.000 They're like, you know, the smoke's going into the Slash's thing.
00:26:55.000 So I thought it was funny, the guy that's known for the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
00:27:00.000 It's like, absolutely no smoking around here.
00:27:03.000 Did he quit and then now he's got this thing?
00:27:06.000 I don't know, we didn't get to meet them.
00:27:08.000 You didn't meet them?
00:27:09.000 No.
00:27:10.000 What?
00:27:11.000 I know, it was weird.
00:27:13.000 That's crazy.
00:27:15.000 I know.
00:27:16.000 Uh-huh.
00:27:16.000 I met Axl Rose in a restaurant in Greece, just randomly.
00:27:19.000 I was eating at this restaurant, and my friend comes by and goes, that fucking Axl Rose is sitting over there.
00:27:24.000 I'm like, shit, we're gonna have to walk by him.
00:27:26.000 It's that weird thing where you say hi to someone, you don't know if they know who you are, but luckily he did, and then he invited me to the show.
00:27:33.000 I'm sure he's a cool guy.
00:27:34.000 He's a cool guy.
00:27:35.000 I met him one time.
00:27:35.000 He's real cool.
00:27:36.000 He's very cool.
00:27:37.000 But, you know, he gets bothered a lot.
00:27:39.000 So, like, I was worried that I was gonna bother him, you know, because my friend had bothered him already.
00:27:45.000 My friend got shooed.
00:27:47.000 We were at a restaurant this past summer in Madrid.
00:27:52.000 We were playing a festival.
00:27:53.000 Should we just pick this random restaurant for lunch?
00:27:57.000 Yeah.
00:27:57.000 It was like 5 o'clock, and we got sat next to Flea and John Frusciante.
00:28:04.000 Wow.
00:28:04.000 Right next to their table.
00:28:06.000 Right next to them.
00:28:07.000 They were sitting there having the most nerdy conversation.
00:28:11.000 If you augment the seventh...
00:28:14.000 And we were just like...
00:28:15.000 And I'm like, whoa, my God, they are just such nerds.
00:28:20.000 But I was like, I'm going to go say what's up.
00:28:22.000 I went over and I shook Flea's hand and then I went to go shake John Frusciante's hand.
00:28:26.000 He's like, I don't do that.
00:28:28.000 And then Flea's like, excuse me, I'm going to go wash my hands.
00:28:32.000 What?
00:28:33.000 And they're like, we're germaphobes.
00:28:34.000 And I was like, aren't these guys legendary...
00:28:36.000 Freaks!
00:28:37.000 Ex-heroids?
00:28:39.000 Yeah.
00:28:40.000 What?
00:28:41.000 Yeah.
00:28:42.000 Germaphobes?
00:28:43.000 They don't shake hands?
00:28:45.000 No.
00:28:47.000 No.
00:28:47.000 That always weirds me out.
00:28:48.000 Like the Howie Mandel thing.
00:28:49.000 He weirds me out.
00:28:51.000 Does he bump knuckles still?
00:28:52.000 I don't even know he bumps knuckles.
00:28:54.000 For a while he was like, I think maybe he bumps knuckles.
00:28:58.000 I told him, I go, next time I see you, motherfucker, I'm going to hug you.
00:29:01.000 You're not going to be able to stop me.
00:29:03.000 I'm going to hug you.
00:29:04.000 This is ridiculous.
00:29:04.000 Maybe we need to invent a new form of greeting each other.
00:29:08.000 Well, the handshake is fine.
00:29:11.000 It's a good one.
00:29:12.000 You know why it's good?
00:29:13.000 Because if you hang on too long, it's weird.
00:29:15.000 Yeah.
00:29:15.000 That's why it's good.
00:29:17.000 Because it's like an intimate gesture.
00:29:19.000 There's a gesture.
00:29:20.000 We're touching skin.
00:29:20.000 But only for a little bit.
00:29:22.000 Because, you know, a handshake for too long...
00:29:26.000 It gets odd.
00:29:27.000 Yeah.
00:29:27.000 It gets a little odd.
00:29:29.000 I like how Trump does the thing where he just pulls everybody out.
00:29:30.000 Dude, he got me.
00:29:31.000 He did.
00:29:31.000 The motherfucker got me.
00:29:32.000 Let me tell you something.
00:29:33.000 I was ready for it the first time.
00:29:35.000 First time I met him, first of all, he has normal-sized hands.
00:29:38.000 I have big hands.
00:29:39.000 He has regular-sized hands.
00:29:40.000 He's a big guy.
00:29:41.000 So, um...
00:29:43.000 I was ready.
00:29:44.000 I knew I was gonna meet him.
00:29:46.000 The first time I met him, he came over and just put his hands on my shoulders and said, you do a great job.
00:29:50.000 But I was sitting, you know, sitting.
00:29:52.000 So this time I actually stood up.
00:29:53.000 We made eye contact.
00:29:54.000 I said, how you doing, sir?
00:29:56.000 I shook his hand.
00:29:57.000 I'm like, oh, I know what he's about to do.
00:29:58.000 So I fucking anchored myself.
00:30:01.000 I'm like, not today, son.
00:30:03.000 Not today.
00:30:04.000 Would you give me a nice pull?
00:30:06.000 And I'm like, but we're hanging out for a while.
00:30:08.000 So then the next time I met him, he was at a UFC as well.
00:30:12.000 Did he try to pull?
00:30:13.000 Dude, I'll tell you what happened.
00:30:14.000 I'm sitting down, and he looks at me, and he goes like this, and he gets up and starts walking towards me.
00:30:19.000 And I get up, and I reach over with my hand, and he gets me!
00:30:23.000 And I'm over the table!
00:30:25.000 I'm over the table!
00:30:26.000 He really fucking got me!
00:30:27.000 He got me good.
00:30:28.000 He got me good.
00:30:29.000 He got me good.
00:30:30.000 I'm like, this motherfucker learns from his mistakes.
00:30:33.000 He got me.
00:30:34.000 He used your energy against you.
00:30:36.000 Is this the time where he gets me?
00:30:38.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:30:39.000 Let me see.
00:30:42.000 No, this is the time he tried.
00:30:43.000 He tried to get me.
00:30:44.000 He's hanging on for a while, see.
00:30:45.000 Look at you, dude.
00:30:46.000 You're shaking a little bit.
00:30:47.000 I'm anchored.
00:30:48.000 You're shaking a little bit.
00:30:49.000 Well, I'm resisting.
00:30:49.000 There's a lot going on there.
00:30:51.000 You know who got mad at me?
00:30:52.000 Jack White.
00:30:53.000 Got mad at me that I shook Trump's hand.
00:30:56.000 I'm like, stop crying.
00:30:58.000 Settle down and stop crying.
00:31:01.000 You think that's...
00:31:02.000 Would you be okay if I shook Biden's hand?
00:31:06.000 Are you paying attention?
00:31:08.000 He might crush his fucking fingers.
00:31:11.000 He'd try to get you, though, with those fucking bony old broomstick hands.
00:31:15.000 I'll tell you right when I was younger, I fucking shook the shit out of your hand.
00:31:20.000 Just come up behind you and sniff your head.
00:31:23.000 Bro, I love the gaslighting.
00:31:26.000 There's this one guy that I follow on Instagram I only follow for gaslighting, and he's this hardcore Democrat dude.
00:31:33.000 And he was talking about how amazing Biden's State of the Union speech was and how inspiring it was.
00:31:39.000 It just really feels so good about things right now.
00:31:43.000 How about you folks?
00:31:44.000 Like, what the fuck?
00:31:45.000 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:31:47.000 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:31:49.000 They definitely had him on a drug cocktail.
00:31:50.000 We were trying to figure out what cocktail he was on.
00:31:52.000 I'd like to know.
00:31:52.000 I don't want to get on it.
00:31:53.000 I want to try it.
00:31:54.000 I want to know.
00:31:55.000 It's probably the Hitler.
00:31:57.000 He's probably been in bed since the speech.
00:32:01.000 Right, just eating ice cream.
00:32:03.000 Just trying to recuperate.
00:32:06.000 Body's fucking zapped.
00:32:08.000 Bro, what are they giving him?
00:32:10.000 What are they giving him and what does it feel like?
00:32:12.000 I would imagine, if I was going to dose up the president, if they brought me an amateur pharmacologist, I would say vitamin B12. I'm like, give him the whole vial.
00:32:22.000 Give him everything intramuscularly, 45 minutes before he has to do activities.
00:32:28.000 The next thing I would do is peptides.
00:32:30.000 He's got to be on everything.
00:32:31.000 I want him on BPC-157.
00:32:32.000 I want him on apamoralin.
00:32:34.000 Wait a minute, let me write this down.
00:32:36.000 Tessamoralin.
00:32:36.000 I want him on everything.
00:32:37.000 Then I want him on testosterone.
00:32:38.000 I want you to just jack him up with bodybuilder-like levels.
00:32:42.000 We're going to kill him, but he's going to die anyway.
00:32:45.000 And then I would say speed.
00:32:46.000 We need some fucking Adderall.
00:32:48.000 We need to chew up some Adderall.
00:32:50.000 Wouldn't some old-fashioned meth just...
00:32:52.000 Not enough.
00:32:53.000 Not enough.
00:32:54.000 He needs his body to have at least some resistance to what you're going to throw at it to try to make him articulate.
00:33:02.000 I would give him a lot of things.
00:33:05.000 I would give him growth hormone.
00:33:07.000 I would give him everything.
00:33:08.000 Peptides, vitamins.
00:33:10.000 Dude, he'd come to the podium looking like swamp fish.
00:33:11.000 N-A-D. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:33:13.000 Exactly.
00:33:14.000 Just blow them up.
00:33:15.000 Let's go.
00:33:16.000 I want them purple.
00:33:17.000 I want them on that podium looking purple.
00:33:20.000 Just swollen up with creatine.
00:33:23.000 I would dose them up on everything.
00:33:25.000 I'd only feed them bison meat.
00:33:26.000 That would be a good supplement company.
00:33:29.000 It's like, we're going to give you the authentic JFK. Yeah.
00:33:34.000 Here's the JFK cocktail.
00:33:35.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:33:37.000 Here's what he was into.
00:33:38.000 Yeah, JFK apparently was, that was Dr. Feelgood.
00:33:41.000 That was the whole term.
00:33:42.000 Dr. Feelgood was a doctor that they would call upon.
00:33:45.000 And apparently the White House has doctors like this as well.
00:33:48.000 That you call upon and say, you know what?
00:33:50.000 I'm having a hard time sleeping, Doc.
00:33:52.000 And they hook you up with Ambien.
00:33:54.000 Or they hook you up with antidepressants.
00:33:56.000 Or they hook you up with Xanax if you're feeling depressed.
00:33:59.000 Max Jacobson.
00:34:00.000 Dr. Feelgood.
00:34:02.000 Miracle Max.
00:34:03.000 Elvis' doctor.
00:34:06.000 Give me the Elvis cocktail.
00:34:08.000 You can have historical figures, favorite drugs.
00:34:11.000 Yeah.
00:34:12.000 Yeah, give me the Biden.
00:34:14.000 Give me that Biden cocktail.
00:34:16.000 What are they doing?
00:34:18.000 What JFK did not know was that the injections were actually powerful doses of a combination of highly addictive liquid methamphetamine and steroids.
00:34:26.000 So that's what I would give him.
00:34:27.000 See, that's what I'm saying.
00:34:28.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:34:29.000 I know these things.
00:34:30.000 I should be working for the White House.
00:34:32.000 I'm sure there is B12 in that shot, too.
00:34:35.000 That's what my appointment would be for the Trump White House.
00:34:38.000 I'd be the new Rachel Levine.
00:34:40.000 You'd be the new Dr. Fielder.
00:34:42.000 Get me in there, and I'll fucking straighten everybody out.
00:34:46.000 The supplements are.
00:34:47.000 And I've got everybody on edibles.
00:34:49.000 I want the whole staff to be terrified all day long.
00:34:52.000 Everybody's got a slant board by their desk.
00:34:55.000 Yeah, everybody's doing fucking knees over toes squats.
00:34:58.000 I'd have a hot yoga room there.
00:35:00.000 Let's go.
00:35:01.000 Kettlebells all over the fucking White House.
00:35:03.000 Let's go.
00:35:04.000 Let's go, kids.
00:35:05.000 Big fucking Onnit banner.
00:35:07.000 Yeah.
00:35:07.000 Teach them all archery.
00:35:11.000 Everybody's drinking Kill Cliffs.
00:35:13.000 Let's go.
00:35:14.000 Yeah.
00:35:16.000 What's it?
00:35:18.000 Okay proclaimed I don't care if it's horse piss it works He had some severe bouts of back pain apparently he has like some really really serious fucking disease What's this about Mickey Mantle?
00:35:33.000 He treated Mickey Mantle.
00:35:35.000 For a case of the flu.
00:35:36.000 Oh, you got the flu?
00:35:37.000 Let me give you some heroin.
00:35:40.000 Injection into Mantle's hip caused severe abscessing septic infection at the injection site that hospitalized Mantle and threatened his career.
00:35:49.000 But that's just staph.
00:35:51.000 That can happen because it was just bad medical advice.
00:35:54.000 That has nothing to do with what he gave him.
00:35:56.000 What did he give him?
00:35:58.000 Improper practices.
00:35:59.000 So this guy was just a wild dude.
00:36:01.000 There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie, and it's by a guy who advocates mineral supplementation.
00:36:09.000 We do it with animals.
00:36:11.000 And he was saying that so many diseases that people are getting is a result of your diet.
00:36:17.000 And he goes, you need to pay attention to doctors and how they live their lives.
00:36:22.000 These guys that are telling you, you need to do this, you need to take this, you need to take this medication, they're all in cahoots with the pharmaceutical drug companies and they're all super unhealthy and a lot of them are addicted, not all.
00:36:33.000 But this is what this guy was saying.
00:36:35.000 A lot of them are addicted to drugs.
00:36:36.000 And so he tells a story about this guy who was in the middle of surgery and he goes to go do coke and he has an overdose and dies.
00:36:44.000 This guy's dead in the middle of surgery because they were so cranked up.
00:36:50.000 Because they could give themselves whatever the fuck they wanted.
00:36:53.000 So these guys would all take whatever they wanted.
00:36:58.000 Man.
00:36:59.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful.
00:37:00.000 If the person telling you how to be healthy is a fat slob...
00:37:03.000 Not good.
00:37:05.000 And it's really common.
00:37:07.000 It's really common at doctor's offices to, like, see a bunch of unhealthy nurses.
00:37:12.000 Doctors used to smoke.
00:37:14.000 They used to be in there with a fucking cigarette.
00:37:16.000 My dad, uh...
00:37:17.000 My dad walked into a door in the middle of the night in, like, the mid-70s, broke his nose, and, um...
00:37:24.000 And he went to go get it straightened a couple weeks later, so the doctor had like...
00:37:28.000 Crack it.
00:37:29.000 Crack it.
00:37:29.000 And my dad noticed like the next day, like he couldn't taste and smell anything.
00:37:35.000 And he went back to the doctor's office and was like, I can't, I'm not, you know, I can't smell or taste.
00:37:41.000 And the doctor apparently was smoking and took his ashtray and put it up to his nose.
00:37:45.000 Can you smell this?
00:37:46.000 And my dad said, no.
00:37:47.000 He's like, yeah, it's probably not coming back.
00:37:50.000 Whoa.
00:37:50.000 So I was thinking, if that happened to you now, you'd get like a hundred million dollar settlement.
00:37:55.000 It's probably not coming back.
00:37:57.000 It never came back.
00:37:57.000 No, he still can't.
00:37:59.000 My dad can't smell.
00:38:00.000 Whoa.
00:38:01.000 Yeah, you'll be like, you know, he can't smell at all.
00:38:05.000 Just from a broken nose?
00:38:06.000 Yeah, it's like, you know, when you taste with your nose pinched, that's what it is.
00:38:09.000 So he can taste like hot sauce a little bit.
00:38:13.000 Oh man, that's gotta suck.
00:38:15.000 Imagine not smelling bacon.
00:38:16.000 Since when did that happen?
00:38:18.000 It happened before I was born.
00:38:19.000 That's crazy.
00:38:20.000 I was born in 80. But he'll get these phantom smells.
00:38:23.000 And I'm like, what smell do you miss the most?
00:38:25.000 He's like, gasoline.
00:38:29.000 I love the smell of gas.
00:38:31.000 I used to love that smell.
00:38:32.000 I used to love that.
00:38:33.000 Well, I was a gearhead when I was a kid.
00:38:35.000 I've got a barn with the motorcycles, and that's the first thing my son says.
00:38:39.000 He's eight years old.
00:38:40.000 As soon as he gets in, he's like, oh, my favorite smell.
00:38:43.000 Kids love the smell of gas.
00:38:43.000 What is it?
00:38:44.000 They love markers, too.
00:38:46.000 Like Sharpies.
00:38:47.000 They do.
00:38:48.000 Have you ever seen the photos of all the people that have been arrested for huffing?
00:38:52.000 It's amazing.
00:38:53.000 There's a compilation.
00:38:55.000 They all have fucking silver all over their face.
00:39:00.000 It's kind of lost popularity that huffing, I feel.
00:39:03.000 Well, a lot of the proponents have died off.
00:39:07.000 Look at these fucking guys.
00:39:09.000 Just everyone busted for huffing.
00:39:12.000 Dude.
00:39:12.000 I think that one guy got busted a ton of times.
00:39:15.000 Wow, they all kind of have a little sparkle in their eyes.
00:39:17.000 That guy.
00:39:17.000 That guy's been busted, I believe, more than once for huffing.
00:39:21.000 Oh my god.
00:39:24.000 It's just fucking so silly.
00:39:26.000 You know those guys that stand on the corner in like the painted suits?
00:39:29.000 Mm-hmm.
00:39:30.000 Like the gold suits?
00:39:31.000 They just looked like they were just blowing those dudes.
00:39:33.000 Well, those dudes, how toxic must that shit be?
00:39:37.000 You put that shit on your body all day, like silver paint?
00:39:40.000 By the way, what a stupid fucking thing to do with your time.
00:39:43.000 Yeah, not a good one.
00:39:45.000 This guy!
00:39:51.000 Wow.
00:39:52.000 Yeah, dumbass way to spend your day pretending to be a robot.
00:39:56.000 Didn't someone on the set of a Bond film die from being painted on gold?
00:40:02.000 Really?
00:40:03.000 I think so, in the 60s.
00:40:05.000 Yeah.
00:40:07.000 Urban legend.
00:40:08.000 I mean, it's urban legend, but I think that might be true.
00:40:11.000 The internet kind of fucked up urban legend.
00:40:14.000 It definitely did.
00:40:16.000 There was one that someone sent me about Einstein's chauffeur being smarter than him.
00:40:21.000 Yeah, that was going around yesterday.
00:40:22.000 No, no.
00:40:23.000 I sent it immediately.
00:40:24.000 I sent him the fucking articles to disprove them.
00:40:26.000 That's not true.
00:40:27.000 Yeah.
00:40:28.000 Here it is.
00:40:29.000 Goldfinger and the myth of Bond girl's death.
00:40:32.000 It's a myth.
00:40:32.000 It's a myth.
00:40:33.000 Ah, it's just a good one.
00:40:36.000 Marketing baby.
00:40:37.000 What was the whole idea?
00:40:37.000 Was she supposed to be a gold human?
00:40:40.000 Was she an alien?
00:40:41.000 What was she?
00:40:42.000 I don't know.
00:40:42.000 Those movies kind of blow.
00:40:44.000 They were really into painting naked women's bodies in the 60s in movies.
00:40:50.000 Yeah?
00:40:51.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:51.000 Well, that's the weird hack for hoes, that you can go out in public with your titties painted.
00:40:57.000 A lot of gals will use that as an excuse to walk around topless for Halloween.
00:41:02.000 Yeah, it's probably a way to avoid sensors back then.
00:41:05.000 Paint them rather than show it.
00:41:08.000 Yeah.
00:41:09.000 Probably, yeah.
00:41:12.000 So that's not true, huh?
00:41:14.000 Fuck.
00:41:16.000 It would've been a fun one.
00:41:18.000 Yeah, it's weird when you start finding these things out, you've just been living a lie.
00:41:25.000 Have you guys heard of those ladies that used to paint loom on watches?
00:41:29.000 Oh, yeah.
00:41:31.000 What is it called?
00:41:32.000 Radium girls.
00:41:35.000 Yeah, they would lick their paintbrush and they all got horrible cancer.
00:41:38.000 Their faces had rotten holes in it.
00:41:40.000 Their jaws fell off.
00:41:42.000 Terrifying shit.
00:41:43.000 Holy shit.
00:41:44.000 Yeah.
00:41:44.000 I mean, my mom has a bunch of Fiesta wear.
00:41:48.000 We used to eat off that all the time.
00:41:50.000 Apparently...
00:41:51.000 You know, the red is, like, highly radioactive.
00:41:56.000 It's true.
00:41:57.000 Really?
00:41:57.000 Yeah, because they were using uranium.
00:41:59.000 And then they started using depleted uranium.
00:42:01.000 Oh, God.
00:42:02.000 But it's like...
00:42:04.000 Yeah.
00:42:06.000 Apparently.
00:42:07.000 Did you get any superpowers?
00:42:09.000 Uh...
00:42:10.000 No, I'm just...
00:42:11.000 Nobody gets superpowers.
00:42:12.000 Dude, my brother gave me...
00:42:13.000 My brother...
00:42:15.000 The same one that sent me...
00:42:16.000 He doesn't have a superpower.
00:42:17.000 He can guess people's birthdays.
00:42:20.000 Is that...
00:42:20.000 I mean, it's not a superpower.
00:42:22.000 It's just...
00:42:22.000 It's pretty...
00:42:23.000 How good are you?
00:42:24.000 I can guess within three years, I think, for anyone.
00:42:27.000 Oh, within three years?
00:42:29.000 Yeah.
00:42:29.000 Oh, so you're guessing their age.
00:42:31.000 Yeah.
00:42:32.000 But I can do historical figures.
00:42:33.000 I don't really know who they are.
00:42:34.000 I mean, it's not 100%, but I've been pretty close.
00:42:39.000 With their birth date?
00:42:40.000 No, like their year.
00:42:41.000 Their birth year.
00:42:42.000 Okay.
00:42:45.000 What year was I born?
00:42:49.000 Oh...
00:42:56.000 1968. 67. Pretty close.
00:43:00.000 Just name anybody else.
00:43:02.000 Okay.
00:43:03.000 Marlon Brando.
00:43:04.000 That's good.
00:43:11.000 Give me a second.
00:43:18.000 1922. Ooh.
00:43:22.000 Oh, within three years.
00:43:23.000 Wow.
00:43:24.000 24. Wow.
00:43:27.000 What the fuck do you do then?
00:43:28.000 That's pretty impressive.
00:43:29.000 Let's just keep it 100% accuracy.
00:43:32.000 We made our new record...
00:43:37.000 Collaborating with people.
00:43:40.000 And one of the guys on our list that we wanted to work with was Noel Gallagher from Oasis.
00:43:46.000 So we kept reaching out to him and seeing if he would be up for it.
00:43:50.000 And we kept hearing back that he doesn't really do that.
00:43:54.000 I remember that my neighbor, who I golf with, used to be Oasis' agent.
00:44:02.000 So I asked him if he could reach out.
00:44:04.000 Through that, we heard back that an old would be up for recording with us if we went to London.
00:44:10.000 So we flew all the way to London.
00:44:14.000 And right at this small little studio.
00:44:17.000 And we barely knew Noel.
00:44:18.000 We've met him briefly.
00:44:20.000 But we went in there with no song and sat down with him within a couple hours.
00:44:25.000 We had a song written and recorded.
00:44:28.000 Wow.
00:44:30.000 And we did it three days in a row.
00:44:32.000 And we had four days booked.
00:44:36.000 After the first day, we were like, we got what we need.
00:44:39.000 This would be cool if we got more.
00:44:40.000 The rest would be gravy.
00:44:41.000 But we got what we need.
00:44:42.000 Pay for the trip.
00:44:43.000 And we got, we got the, you know, the second day we got on the game, and the third day we got a song called Only Love Matters, but the fourth day we showed up and we're like, we are not fucking pressing it.
00:44:54.000 Like, we, we got, you know, we got, we went three for three, but we're not gonna.
00:45:00.000 Let's not push our love.
00:45:01.000 Let's not fuck this up.
00:45:03.000 So we just spent the whole day just bullshitting with him.
00:45:07.000 But yeah, that's like the same with this.
00:45:09.000 I don't want to guess another birthday.
00:45:11.000 I don't want to fail.
00:45:12.000 Yeah, I got it.
00:45:13.000 Yeah, you've been rock solid so far this show.
00:45:19.000 On the Game.
00:45:19.000 The fucking album is amazing.
00:45:21.000 It's so good, dude.
00:45:22.000 It's so good.
00:45:23.000 Thanks, man.
00:45:24.000 And thank you for letting me listen to it early.
00:45:26.000 I played it for everybody in the green room.
00:45:27.000 People were like, oh, shit.
00:45:29.000 Cool.
00:45:29.000 It's so good, dude.
00:45:31.000 It's so good.
00:45:32.000 On the Game, I told you, I find myself singing that.
00:45:35.000 Like when I see people out trying to hook up in bars, everybody's on the game.
00:45:41.000 It's fucking great.
00:45:43.000 It was such an amazing feeling, being in the room with him.
00:45:45.000 We cut it in this studio called Toe Rag, and the live room is this size, like this room.
00:45:50.000 Wow.
00:45:51.000 So Pat's drum kit's here, a little keyboard here, I'm right there, and Noel's right there.
00:45:56.000 We're just in a circle.
00:45:57.000 Wow.
00:45:57.000 And, you know, what you hear on the record is the take we did.
00:46:01.000 Wow.
00:46:01.000 It was like the second or third time we got through the song without fucking it up.
00:46:05.000 Wow.
00:46:06.000 It's amazing that you guys can put together a song.
00:46:09.000 It is the best feeling.
00:46:10.000 It's so addictive.
00:46:11.000 It's the most addictive thing ever.
00:46:13.000 It's gotta be.
00:46:14.000 Being able to get in the studio and make something out of nothing like that.
00:46:17.000 The fact that you guys can do that in four hours is just insane.
00:46:20.000 That was the thing.
00:46:21.000 Ever since we met, we've been able to do that.
00:46:24.000 Ever since the first fucking time we got in a room together.
00:46:27.000 He had a four track and it instantly sounded fucking fun and cool.
00:46:31.000 You know?
00:46:33.000 And it's like...
00:46:36.000 Hearing that and then getting that feeling has been like, feels like the driving force of my life.
00:46:42.000 You guys are like one of my favorite origin stories for bands.
00:46:46.000 Just like the way you guys work together, the way it works, that you've known each other forever.
00:46:51.000 It's just the whole thing is awesome.
00:46:52.000 It's just what everybody hopes for.
00:46:54.000 An origin story for a cool band that you like.
00:46:57.000 We've got this doc that's coming out at some point that is cool.
00:47:01.000 We premiered it last night, but it was cool.
00:47:05.000 All the footage that the director found, because we weren't taking photos and stuff back in the day, but to see all the photos from 20-some years ago.
00:47:16.000 Yeah, stuff I didn't even know existed.
00:47:18.000 Some of the shit I didn't even remember at all.
00:47:21.000 And there's video of it.
00:47:22.000 It's crazy.
00:47:23.000 Wow.
00:47:24.000 The cool thing about like on the game we got everything but the lyrics you know but the melody was there and that you know we kind of made a point with making this album that for the first time we were going to like I guess kind of do it you know Do it the way that maybe bands used to do it in the 70s,
00:47:46.000 I guess.
00:47:47.000 We were going to stay at the nicest hotels, the funnest hotels, most fun hotels.
00:47:52.000 We were going to have fun.
00:47:55.000 So when we were out in London, we were staying at the Children Firehouse, just kind of partying every single night, and then dragging ourselves to the studio.
00:48:02.000 One night, Noel was hanging out with us.
00:48:05.000 And he was, like, pointing to some girl at the bar, and he's like, oh, she's for sure on the game.
00:48:11.000 And we were like, we've been to England, you know, 50 times, but we'd never heard that expression.
00:48:16.000 And we're like, what's that?
00:48:17.000 He's like, oh, she's, you know, a working girl.
00:48:20.000 She's probably, you know, she's probably a prostitute.
00:48:24.000 Which checks out, I think.
00:48:25.000 There were a lot there.
00:48:27.000 But then Dan was like, yeah, everybody here's on the game.
00:48:30.000 But making this record was so much fun.
00:48:35.000 How can you tell if someone's a prostitute?
00:48:38.000 I was in Miami.
00:48:39.000 My friend was like, there were so many prostitutes at that hotel.
00:48:41.000 I go, how do you know?
00:48:44.000 This is Miami.
00:48:45.000 There are a lot of gals dressed like hookers here.
00:48:47.000 Yeah, it's kind of incriminating if you know.
00:48:50.000 How do you know?
00:48:51.000 Dude, we played this show once a long time ago in Portland, Oregon.
00:48:55.000 There's a band playing with us, and they were older than us.
00:48:58.000 We were, like, 22. They were probably 30. They were like, guys, be very careful here.
00:49:02.000 It's really dangerous.
00:49:04.000 There's a lot of drug dealers.
00:49:05.000 Especially in the parking lot.
00:49:05.000 Especially in the parking lot.
00:49:07.000 Like, just be careful.
00:49:09.000 So we were like, fuck.
00:49:10.000 Okay.
00:49:10.000 We, like, got in our car and locked the door.
00:49:12.000 I'm like...
00:49:13.000 Hunkered down.
00:49:14.000 Hunkered down, like, waiting.
00:49:16.000 We had, like, eight hours till we played.
00:49:17.000 And then we're, like, accidentally kind of just, like, staking out the fucking club.
00:49:21.000 And this guy who just warned us about this shit, he comes out and we watch him try to buy drugs.
00:49:28.000 The guy, like, literally, like, takes his money and just runs down the street.
00:49:32.000 Now the whole band's chasing this guy.
00:49:36.000 The guy who warned you.
00:49:38.000 Oh, yeah.
00:49:38.000 Of course.
00:49:39.000 That's how it always works.
00:49:40.000 That was when we played at the Satyricon.
00:49:42.000 Yeah.
00:49:43.000 The Satyricon.
00:49:44.000 The stage was carpet, and they'd had, like, clown wrestling the night before, so the carpet was all...
00:49:49.000 They had cake all in the carpet.
00:49:51.000 Just remember, it was like...
00:49:54.000 And there's nobody there.
00:49:57.000 Absolutely nobody there.
00:49:59.000 No one.
00:49:59.000 In fact, two people walked in and then they left.
00:50:01.000 They walked in, they were like, got the fuck out of there.
00:50:04.000 That's apparently where, I guess that's where Kurt Cobain met Courtney Love was at that club.
00:50:08.000 Wow.
00:50:09.000 Yeah, it's no longer there.
00:50:11.000 But it had been there since the 60s.
00:50:12.000 Cream had played there.
00:50:14.000 Back in the day.
00:50:16.000 That is fucking nuts.
00:50:18.000 Yeah, we saw it on its...
00:50:21.000 Way out.
00:50:23.000 Cream played a place that tiny?
00:50:25.000 Yeah.
00:50:25.000 Doesn't even make sense.
00:50:27.000 I know.
00:50:27.000 Wouldn't they have been huge by the time they came over?
00:50:30.000 I mean, it's surprising the size venues certain people were playing.
00:50:34.000 Like Hendrix used to play the Felt Forum a lot.
00:50:35.000 We don't need to look it up.
00:50:37.000 Hendrix used to play the Whiskey.
00:50:39.000 Yeah, I mean, like, Hendrix would play the Felt Forum or something as Band of Gypsies.
00:50:46.000 That's only a couple thousand seats.
00:50:47.000 Mmm.
00:50:49.000 When Phil Harmon was a kid, he was like, I think he was like 18, he was working at the Whiskey as like a stagehand.
00:50:56.000 And he had to keep his hands on the speaker that was on the stage because it was like a little kind of rockety.
00:51:04.000 And Hendrix was playing right in front of him.
00:51:07.000 He was 18 years old.
00:51:09.000 He was like, Hendrix is literally standing in front of me playing.
00:51:13.000 Oh shit.
00:51:15.000 That's incredible.
00:51:15.000 He did a bunch of album covers, right?
00:51:17.000 Yeah, Hartman did a bunch.
00:51:18.000 We have one of them framed out here.
00:51:20.000 Oh, really?
00:51:20.000 He was so fucking funny.
00:51:22.000 Oh my god.
00:51:22.000 Oh, he's such a good dude too, man.
00:51:23.000 What a horrible way to go.
00:51:25.000 Man, although I never saw that coming.
00:51:28.000 Actually, honestly, I mean, he was asleep, so...
00:51:31.000 He was asleep?
00:51:31.000 Yeah.
00:51:32.000 Horrible that he went.
00:51:33.000 Well, horrible, period.
00:51:35.000 The whole story's horrible.
00:51:36.000 It's insane.
00:51:37.000 My friend was a cop.
00:51:39.000 I had gotten over it, and I was getting ready to do stand-up again.
00:51:43.000 I took a couple weeks off.
00:51:45.000 I was like, there's no way I could be funny.
00:51:47.000 It's just like, it's not possible.
00:51:48.000 And then I decided to go to the comedy store.
00:51:51.000 I'm like, I gotta get back in there.
00:51:52.000 I just gotta live on with my life.
00:51:54.000 And so I'm in the gas station getting gas, and my friend pulls up who's a cop.
00:52:00.000 I knew him from Jiu Jitsu.
00:52:01.000 And I'm like, I go, what's up, man?
00:52:03.000 What are you doing?
00:52:04.000 And he goes, dude.
00:52:05.000 He goes, I'm really sorry about your friend.
00:52:06.000 He goes, I was on that.
00:52:08.000 I go, you were there?
00:52:09.000 He goes, phew.
00:52:11.000 He goes, listen, the mother took the children into the bathroom and she had a gun.
00:52:18.000 And that's when they decided to break down the door because they knew that she was going to shoot the kids and shoot herself.
00:52:25.000 And the cop broke down the door and the kids ran from their mother.
00:52:30.000 And then their mother blows her brains out.
00:52:33.000 Jesus.
00:52:34.000 Why my friend was there?
00:52:35.000 Holy...
00:52:36.000 That was Phil Harmon's wife.
00:52:38.000 That was Phil Harmon's wife.
00:52:39.000 Yeah, I heard she shot him in the head, in the throat, and in the chest.
00:52:46.000 Well, she was on Zoloft and apparently cocaine.
00:52:50.000 And they won some sort of a settlement with Zoloft.
00:52:53.000 Apparently when you mix Zoloft with cocaine, it's not good.
00:52:58.000 So this is a supplement, this is a cocktail that you don't want to...
00:53:01.000 You don't want that one.
00:53:02.000 You don't want that one.
00:53:03.000 You don't want the Bryn Hartman.
00:53:04.000 No.
00:53:05.000 Yeah.
00:53:06.000 It's...
00:53:06.000 Fuck.
00:53:06.000 Yeah, but...
00:53:07.000 So I went on stage and ate shit.
00:53:10.000 Oh my God.
00:53:11.000 I mean, boy did I eat shit.
00:53:12.000 I mean, there was nothing funny coming out of my mouth.
00:53:15.000 I was so depressed.
00:53:17.000 I shouldn't have done the set.
00:53:18.000 I was so depressed.
00:53:20.000 I just was like, hearing that story, just like, bouncing around in my head.
00:53:24.000 Were you talking about that at all?
00:53:26.000 Or were you just trying to do yourself?
00:53:27.000 I did talk about it briefly.
00:53:29.000 I did, because I couldn't get over it.
00:53:31.000 I just was so fucked up by it.
00:53:33.000 You didn't have any jokes together yet about it?
00:53:36.000 No, I never did.
00:53:37.000 I never could.
00:53:38.000 I mean, there's nothing there.
00:53:39.000 I wonder how you could sue a former school company because you had an adverse reaction for mixing it with an illegal substance.
00:53:47.000 I don't know.
00:53:48.000 I think they probably just paid some money just for everybody to shut the fuck up.
00:53:52.000 That's probably what they do.
00:53:55.000 You can't blame someone for taking something illegally with your drug when it probably specifically says don't do that.
00:54:02.000 But maybe they didn't know don't do that or you might fucking shoot someone in their sleep.
00:54:06.000 But I mean that lady was mean.
00:54:10.000 You know, it was particularly hard for me because I was trying to get him to break up with her multiple times.
00:54:17.000 He had left.
00:54:18.000 I told him to get divorced.
00:54:20.000 I'll never forget this.
00:54:21.000 I said, dude, just give her half.
00:54:23.000 Just give her half and get out.
00:54:24.000 You're always going to make more money.
00:54:25.000 Just get out, man.
00:54:27.000 And he said, it's not half.
00:54:28.000 He goes, it's two thirds.
00:54:30.000 The fucking lawyers get a third.
00:54:32.000 It's a goddamn scam.
00:54:34.000 But he was also freaking out about his image because he was a family guy and he didn't want to get divorced.
00:54:40.000 He wanted to keep everything intact.
00:54:43.000 So he would keep making up with her and she would insult him in public.
00:54:48.000 It was ugly, man.
00:54:49.000 It was ugly.
00:54:51.000 It's crazy when people that you think are so big and powerful are being abused by their partner.
00:54:58.000 It's common.
00:54:59.000 I know.
00:55:00.000 It's common.
00:55:01.000 I know it is.
00:55:01.000 It's so strange.
00:55:02.000 Why is that?
00:55:02.000 There's guys that you would never expect and they just get ran over in their house.
00:55:06.000 What is that?
00:55:07.000 I don't know, man.
00:55:08.000 I think it has probably something to do with your childhood.
00:55:10.000 Probably something to do with what you've accepted in terms of what a relationship is.
00:55:14.000 The kind of relationships you have.
00:55:15.000 I am talking about us.
00:55:18.000 Bro, it can happen.
00:55:20.000 How much humiliation you've gotten while on LSD. I think it evolves over time too, right?
00:55:29.000 Like some people, they get together with someone and then over time someone starts being a cunt.
00:55:34.000 Either the guy or the girl.
00:55:35.000 It's just like, you know, people change.
00:55:38.000 And if you're stuck with that person, especially if you have kids with that person.
00:55:41.000 Right.
00:55:42.000 Like Phil did.
00:55:43.000 It's like, what do you do?
00:55:45.000 How do you resolve this?
00:55:46.000 How old were those kids when they had them?
00:55:47.000 They were very young.
00:55:48.000 Oh my god.
00:55:49.000 Yeah, it was horrible.
00:55:50.000 Divorce in California is hard.
00:55:53.000 Sounds brutal.
00:55:55.000 Yeah, but it's a lot better than your mom shooting your dad while he's asleep and then talking to you about how she's going to kill you.
00:56:01.000 Oh, much better.
00:56:02.000 Way better.
00:56:04.000 Yeah.
00:56:05.000 That's definitely not good.
00:56:07.000 It's just like...
00:56:10.000 Dude, you see the divorce happen all the time where the wife gets a lot of money.
00:56:16.000 I've seen it happen the other way at one time, and it was Kelly Clarkson's husband.
00:56:23.000 He got a shitload of money, and all these divorced dads were posting, like, get that bag, King.
00:56:30.000 I just kept sending them to Dan.
00:56:32.000 I was like, dude, this is outrageous.
00:56:35.000 This guy is our hero.
00:56:36.000 Get that back, King.
00:56:39.000 You remember when Mackenzie Bezos and Jeff Bezos got divorced?
00:56:43.000 Yeah.
00:56:43.000 Mackenzie made like $38 billion in divorce settlement, and then she married a high school science teacher.
00:56:49.000 So it was like a dude who's worth $3,200.
00:56:52.000 Just married a woman worth $38 billion.
00:56:55.000 I'm like...
00:56:55.000 Good luck for the rest of your life.
00:56:57.000 You better sit down when you take a piss, because if you leave that toilet seat up, it's over.
00:57:03.000 You've got to be on your best behavior, sir.
00:57:05.000 This is not a balanced relationship.
00:57:07.000 Bezos has been seeing Dr. Feelgood.
00:57:10.000 You think so?
00:57:11.000 He looks ripped, man.
00:57:13.000 Yeah, he looks a lot better than he used to look.
00:57:15.000 He looks like a completely different person.
00:57:17.000 Dude.
00:57:17.000 He's like jacked and wears nice clothes.
00:57:20.000 I mean, yeah, seeing the old footage of him, just like hunched over nerd fucking character.
00:57:23.000 Elon Musk is kind of the same way too, just like looking.
00:57:26.000 He looks like such different people.
00:57:28.000 Dude, a guy we know.
00:57:30.000 Good, it's good.
00:57:31.000 Yeah, it's good.
00:57:31.000 It's definitely better.
00:57:32.000 A guy we know is one of the first 40 people hired at Amazon, working in Bezos' garage.
00:57:40.000 He was sent to Delaware to set up the first East Coast distribution center.
00:57:46.000 Dude, he was getting something crazy.
00:57:49.000 He got 40,000 shares of Amazon stock.
00:57:53.000 And only, like, 10,000 shares vested, and the rest would vest, this is, like, you know, late 90s, the rest would vest in 2005 or something.
00:58:01.000 But, like, when the dot-com bubble kind of burst in 2000, the value of his stock went from, like, 3 million potentially to 1, and he, like, quit the job before it vested.
00:58:17.000 And he cashed it all out basically for, like, you know, 750 grand.
00:58:22.000 And he ended up moving...
00:58:23.000 To Akron.
00:58:24.000 So we were buddies with this guy.
00:58:25.000 He bought all this recording equipment and stuff.
00:58:28.000 And he moved to Akron because it was so cheap that he was just kind of going to open a studio.
00:58:32.000 But if that stuff invested, he'd be worth like over $100 million.
00:58:39.000 Oh my god.
00:58:41.000 I know, dude.
00:58:42.000 Oh my god.
00:58:43.000 All he had to do was just work at that job for a few more years and just never touch that.
00:58:50.000 Jeez.
00:58:51.000 Yeah.
00:58:51.000 That's a hard one to swallow.
00:58:53.000 That's a hard one to swallow.
00:58:56.000 Life lesson.
00:58:57.000 Yeah.
00:58:58.000 I heard a similar story about a guy who had Apple stock in the very early days.
00:59:03.000 Yeah.
00:59:03.000 And got rid of it.
00:59:05.000 For some fucking insane amount of money now.
00:59:10.000 Apple's such a bizarre company.
00:59:13.000 So bizarre.
00:59:14.000 They're so successful.
00:59:15.000 Like, what other company has figured out to be that...
00:59:17.000 So successful that...
00:59:19.000 The money that they have, just their cash, is like a trillion dollars.
00:59:24.000 It's like a lot of countries' GDPs.
00:59:26.000 Yeah.
00:59:27.000 You know whose?
00:59:28.000 Rockstar Video Games.
00:59:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:31.000 Those guys are fucking crushing.
00:59:33.000 How much money do they make?
00:59:35.000 It's weird how you can protect a video game so thoroughly, but you can't protect much other intellectual property.
00:59:44.000 It's very hard to protect jokes.
00:59:47.000 Jokes get stolen all the time.
00:59:50.000 That's a real hard one.
00:59:53.000 Doesn't Apple just keep all their money in Ireland and not pay taxes?
00:59:57.000 That's what I would do if I was progressive.
01:00:01.000 Exactly.
01:00:03.000 That's what I would do.
01:00:04.000 I'd talk about diversity and equity and then I'd fucking send all my money to some offshore account.
01:00:10.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:00:12.000 You don't get none of this.
01:00:13.000 I'm the one who made the iPhone, you fucks.
01:00:17.000 Mine!
01:00:18.000 Give me it all!
01:00:21.000 Wasn't Jobs was an LSD guy too?
01:00:23.000 Didn't he come up with the idea for Apple when he was on LSD? Oh really?
01:00:26.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure he did.
01:00:28.000 Yeah, there's something about LSD that was about Jobs' inspiration to start Apple.
01:00:35.000 We've been noticing people taking LSD a lot recently.
01:00:38.000 It's becoming very popular, the spray.
01:00:40.000 The spray on the tongue.
01:00:41.000 Mm-hmm.
01:00:42.000 Seems like it's getting around.
01:00:43.000 Yeah.
01:00:45.000 I've heard.
01:00:47.000 Yeah.
01:00:47.000 We only had the LSD that you got from scary old hippies.
01:00:51.000 This is still from scary old hippies.
01:00:53.000 But apparently it's very difficult to make.
01:00:57.000 So when you get it, it's like, where did you get this?
01:01:01.000 Who's getting it?
01:01:02.000 Who's making it?
01:01:02.000 There's only a few people in the country, apparently, that know how to make acid.
01:01:07.000 Yeah.
01:01:07.000 Yeah, I don't think it's like growing weed.
01:01:09.000 I think it's a complicated process.
01:01:13.000 My grandfather was a chemical engineer, and I have a bunch of his old textbooks.
01:01:20.000 And I'll get him out and show him to my son, because the math problems are just...
01:01:25.000 He's a really little kid, but he still understands that there's no numbers in these math problems.
01:01:30.000 It's just letters.
01:01:32.000 But I look at the stuff.
01:01:33.000 These books are from the 40s.
01:01:36.000 And I'm like, to get a PhD in chemical engineering in the 40s, you had to be really fucking smart.
01:01:42.000 There's no fucking calculator.
01:01:44.000 There's a slide ruler.
01:01:47.000 I mean, people must have been way smarter back then.
01:01:50.000 They probably were.
01:01:51.000 It probably meant a lot more.
01:01:53.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:54.000 Those are the people that invented acid.
01:01:56.000 Yeah.
01:01:57.000 The people we have now invent bath salts.
01:02:02.000 Is that still a thing?
01:02:04.000 I don't know.
01:02:05.000 I was at a hotel and they had all the little accoutrement for the shower and one of them was bath salts.
01:02:09.000 And I was like...
01:02:11.000 You said, I know what I'm doing tonight.
01:02:13.000 Most people don't even know what we're talking about.
01:02:15.000 Bath salts at one point in time was a thing that you could get in like a gas station.
01:02:20.000 And it would say bath salts not for human consumption, but it was like a kind of meth.
01:02:25.000 And what they had done is it engineered some amphetamine to be like one molecule different or something like that.
01:02:32.000 They can kind of do that weird little game.
01:02:35.000 It was like Delta 9. Methamphetamine 3. Right.
01:02:39.000 But the side effect was people would eat each other's faces.
01:02:45.000 That one guy did.
01:02:46.000 Dude, did you see the fucking guy in Haiti?
01:02:49.000 The fucking gang leader?
01:02:51.000 Barbecue.
01:02:52.000 Barbecue?
01:02:52.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:02:53.000 Eating the fucking charred calf?
01:02:56.000 Yeah, of a guy that they burned alive.
01:02:58.000 Yeah.
01:02:59.000 Fuck.
01:02:59.000 Fuck.
01:03:00.000 Oh my god, dude.
01:03:01.000 Yeah.
01:03:01.000 What the fuck?
01:03:02.000 Yeah, people need to see those videos, even though they're horrifying, just to understand there's people out there in the world.
01:03:08.000 Gang leader named Barbecue is now most powerful man in Haiti as US evacuates Americans.
01:03:13.000 So he's now the most powerful person in Haiti, the guy who ate that guy.
01:03:20.000 Boy, that's not good.
01:03:22.000 Strapped.
01:03:23.000 What happened to Haiti?
01:03:25.000 I don't know.
01:03:27.000 Like, what was, was it a coup?
01:03:29.000 Like, what happened there?
01:03:31.000 I don't, I'm not...
01:03:32.000 I heard it was two rival gangs that just shut the airport like a week and a half ago.
01:03:37.000 Yo, that's not good.
01:03:41.000 That's not good.
01:03:43.000 Nope.
01:03:44.000 They're evacuating Haiti?
01:03:45.000 Wow.
01:03:48.000 That's crazy.
01:03:49.000 That's crazy that, like, a modern country could just be taken over like that by a guy who eats people.
01:03:55.000 It's, yeah.
01:03:57.000 That video's fucked up.
01:03:58.000 That video's fucked up.
01:03:59.000 And the fact that that's his nickname?
01:04:01.000 Yeah.
01:04:01.000 His nickname is Barbecue?
01:04:03.000 It's incredible.
01:04:04.000 It's like a South Park.
01:04:05.000 It's like Idiocracy.
01:04:07.000 But, you know what it reminded me of is, we talked about this the other day, the Faces of Death videos.
01:04:12.000 Do you remember those things?
01:04:13.000 Sure.
01:04:14.000 Yeah, like, you don't realize, like, only kids were watching those?
01:04:19.000 I would love to see a documentary on, like, the making of Faces of Death.
01:04:23.000 Like, who made those?
01:04:24.000 So, growing up, making that for the kids was such a sick fuck.
01:04:26.000 Who was making that shit in the 80s?
01:04:28.000 Yeah, dude.
01:04:29.000 Barbecue.
01:04:31.000 That's how you gotta start.
01:04:34.000 Here's a note on the video that says it's been going around for over two years, and that has nothing to do with the current uprising.
01:04:40.000 Oh, okay.
01:04:41.000 Oh, that's just old barbecue footage?
01:04:42.000 Is it not the same guy?
01:04:47.000 Whoever's digging into this...
01:04:48.000 It says Times Now has not been able to independently verify the veracity of the video.
01:04:53.000 The man chewing what appears to be a finger and then proceeding to tear the flesh of a leg of a body that is burning.
01:04:59.000 As soon as they get boots on the ground there, they'll figure it out for us.
01:05:02.000 Yeah, they'll figure it out.
01:05:02.000 The video circulant at the time is a time when Haiti's notorious gang leader, Barbecue, is on his way to become the most powerful man in the nation.
01:05:12.000 So it seems like it is true.
01:05:13.000 They just have not been able to independently verify the veracity of the video.
01:05:18.000 Well, that is a problem today with AI. That could be horseshit.
01:05:22.000 That could be something that someone made.
01:05:23.000 I mean, you could probably get AI to say, I want a man who's a rebel soldier in Haiti eating a barbecued leg.
01:05:31.000 And I think AI can do that now, which is crazy.
01:05:35.000 Can we get AI to make a recipe that tastes like human flesh?
01:05:39.000 What if it's really good?
01:05:41.000 They say it tastes like pork.
01:05:42.000 They would call people long pork.
01:05:44.000 First of all, who is they?
01:05:44.000 Cannibals.
01:05:46.000 They would call humans long pork.
01:05:48.000 Long pigs.
01:05:49.000 Yeah, long pigs.
01:05:51.000 That's what Jesse Ventura...
01:05:54.000 Oh, he's talking about long pig.
01:05:56.000 Now, what's his face?
01:05:57.000 That comedian who does the Jesse Ventura impersonation that's just...
01:05:59.000 Will Sasso?
01:06:00.000 Oh, my God.
01:06:01.000 Yeah, it's amazing.
01:06:01.000 I watched that for hours.
01:06:03.000 He always talks about long pigs.
01:06:05.000 He does the head bobble, too.
01:06:08.000 Will Sasso's amazing.
01:06:09.000 Dude, it's so funny, man.
01:06:10.000 It's so good, yeah.
01:06:11.000 It's amazing.
01:06:13.000 Yeah, Jesse Ventura, he's a fucking interesting character.
01:06:18.000 He lives in Mexico now.
01:06:19.000 What's his cocktail?
01:06:20.000 He's not good.
01:06:21.000 He's got Parkinson's.
01:06:23.000 When you're a pro wrestler and you're getting slammed around a lot, there's a high likelihood you're going to have severe brain trauma.
01:06:30.000 Those guys are getting beat up all the time.
01:06:32.000 Back then, they didn't know.
01:06:34.000 They didn't even know that you're getting CTE from that.
01:06:36.000 He went on the Theo Vaughn podcast, and Theo gives a disclaimer at the beginning, like, this is the worst interview that's ever been done.
01:06:46.000 Really?
01:06:46.000 Because I couldn't get a word in edgewise.
01:06:48.000 He's like, just know that I know that.
01:06:52.000 But if you watch it, it's an hour and a half of just him just going.
01:06:56.000 No break.
01:06:58.000 Really?
01:06:59.000 It's incredible.
01:07:00.000 So he just talks?
01:07:02.000 He just talks and it's just like, you know, it's like...
01:07:05.000 Minnesota.
01:07:06.000 What is he talking about?
01:07:08.000 Everything, like rock and roll.
01:07:11.000 It's like, he just doesn't stop.
01:07:13.000 There's no questions.
01:07:15.000 Really?
01:07:15.000 Yeah.
01:07:16.000 It's kind of crazy.
01:07:17.000 How weird.
01:07:18.000 It's worth watching.
01:07:19.000 I wonder if he knew who Theo was.
01:07:21.000 I don't know.
01:07:22.000 It didn't necessarily seem like it.
01:07:25.000 I did a podcast with him a long time ago, and he was fine.
01:07:27.000 He was interesting.
01:07:29.000 There's a lot of stuff that he did.
01:07:32.000 Remember that conspiracy show that he did?
01:07:35.000 He was trying to figure out whether or not Lee Harvey Oswald could have shot JFK. It's kind of funny.
01:07:41.000 He was one of the first conspiracy theory guys.
01:07:44.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:07:46.000 It's like using this rifle, like making shots from the window, the whole deal.
01:07:52.000 The story is insane.
01:07:53.000 I mean, the whole story of him is crazy.
01:07:56.000 Green Beret.
01:07:58.000 Yeah.
01:07:59.000 Actor, wrestler.
01:08:00.000 Well, he's a UDT. He was one of the original series.
01:08:02.000 Insane.
01:08:03.000 Yeah.
01:08:04.000 He was awesome in Predator.
01:08:08.000 I don't have time to bleed.
01:08:10.000 Was that his line?
01:08:11.000 I don't know.
01:08:12.000 That might have been.
01:08:13.000 Yeah, he had the good face paint in Predator.
01:08:17.000 That's another one of those movies.
01:08:19.000 Go watch it again.
01:08:20.000 You're like, what?
01:08:21.000 Really?
01:08:22.000 Yeah, it's ridiculous.
01:08:24.000 Those old movies that you loved as a kid are fucking terrible.
01:08:27.000 The only one that holds up is Goonies.
01:08:30.000 Goonies holds up?
01:08:31.000 Oh, yeah.
01:08:31.000 Goonies holds up.
01:08:33.000 But I try to show this.
01:08:34.000 I ain't got time to bleed.
01:08:35.000 You're bleeding, man.
01:08:36.000 I ain't got time to believe.
01:08:45.000 That fucking guy was the governor of Minnesota.
01:08:48.000 I love that premise, though.
01:08:49.000 There's just this, like...
01:08:52.000 I mean, we need more movies about that.
01:08:55.000 Special Forces hunting down some alien life form in the jungle.
01:09:01.000 Did you see the newest Predator?
01:09:03.000 The newest Predator is actually good.
01:09:04.000 It's called Prey.
01:09:06.000 The Predator comes down to 1700s America.
01:09:12.000 Oh, I like that.
01:09:13.000 That's cool.
01:09:13.000 And this Comanche woman.
01:09:16.000 Fights the Predator.
01:09:17.000 It's crazy.
01:09:19.000 It's ridiculous.
01:09:20.000 But it's fun.
01:09:21.000 It's fun.
01:09:22.000 It's a fun movie.
01:09:23.000 But it's good.
01:09:23.000 When did that come out?
01:09:24.000 A couple years ago.
01:09:25.000 I think it's a Netflix movie, honestly.
01:09:28.000 Hulu?
01:09:28.000 It's a Hulu movie?
01:09:29.000 Hulu.
01:09:30.000 It's good.
01:09:31.000 It's fun.
01:09:34.000 Prey.
01:09:34.000 Yeah.
01:09:35.000 The idea that you'd have a fucking chance.
01:09:38.000 You know, like, I've never made it through an Alien movie.
01:09:42.000 The Alien?
01:09:42.000 Alien?
01:09:43.000 Yeah?
01:09:43.000 Never?
01:09:44.000 No, it's just so excruciating and boring to me.
01:09:47.000 What about the first one?
01:09:49.000 Oh, I like, it's just...
01:09:51.000 There's no way anybody born after the year 2000s watched Alien.
01:09:57.000 Without looking at their phone.
01:09:58.000 If they have, it's like, they should get a medal.
01:10:00.000 Without looking at their phone!
01:10:02.000 Have you tried to watch that movie, The Abyss?
01:10:04.000 I've never tried to watch a movie more.
01:10:08.000 That's the one in the water.
01:10:09.000 Yeah, dude.
01:10:11.000 I'll look at my phone and be like, this has been going on for 45 minutes.
01:10:14.000 It seems like three days.
01:10:15.000 I've never tried to watch one more.
01:10:17.000 That's amazing.
01:10:20.000 But you're right.
01:10:21.000 A lot of those movies, our attention spans were off the charts compared to what they are now back then.
01:10:26.000 Well, that's the people doing calculus on an abacus.
01:10:29.000 Oh, yeah.
01:10:29.000 Yeah.
01:10:31.000 They had a lot of time on their hands.
01:10:33.000 Well, yeah.
01:10:34.000 You weren't being inundated with information.
01:10:36.000 You had more time on your hands.
01:10:37.000 And you probably were better at concentrating.
01:10:39.000 And they required you to concentrate at school at every level.
01:10:42.000 Whereas now they're just kind of like letting people graduate.
01:10:45.000 And you're creating a drug that gets you fucked up for eight hours.
01:10:49.000 Yeah.
01:10:50.000 That's how much time you had.
01:10:51.000 Yeah.
01:10:51.000 Now it's like...
01:10:52.000 What's that weed people smoke?
01:10:56.000 They disassociate for like three minutes?
01:10:58.000 Ketamine?
01:10:59.000 No, it's like...
01:11:00.000 A weed they smoke?
01:11:01.000 Salvia or something.
01:11:02.000 Oh, yeah.
01:11:03.000 Salvia divinorum.
01:11:04.000 That was really popular about 10 years ago, right?
01:11:06.000 Well, that was because it's a very potent psychedelic that somehow or another slipped by that 1970s sweeping psychedelics act.
01:11:13.000 And you could buy salvia, again, not for human consumption.
01:11:16.000 You'd be able to buy that places.
01:11:18.000 I had a buddy who, he had moved to Akron from San Diego.
01:11:22.000 He's this really cool dude.
01:11:24.000 And, you know, there weren't many, nobody I knew was really into drugs in Akron at the time.
01:11:29.000 But I think he was pretty druggy in San Diego.
01:11:32.000 But this guy, he was talking, he would always talk about drinking gypsum tea.
01:11:39.000 Have you ever heard of this?
01:11:40.000 No.
01:11:41.000 And he said that his girlfriend, His girlfriend made some, you can just find this stuff, you know, like, anywhere in California.
01:11:52.000 And it's gypsum weed.
01:11:54.000 And you make a tea, and then, like, his girlfriend started freaking out, started talking to, like, little people in the room.
01:12:02.000 And he drove her to the hospital, and the doctor was, like, instantly, like, did she have gypsum tea?
01:12:08.000 And he's like, yeah.
01:12:09.000 He's like, Dad, this is what always happens.
01:12:10.000 And she was seeing little blue people talking to them, like Smurfs.
01:12:17.000 Here's my question.
01:12:19.000 What if little blue people are around you all the time, you just don't detect them?
01:12:24.000 Well, I mean, how does everybody have the same trip off the drug?
01:12:28.000 Right.
01:12:29.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:12:30.000 Like, what if there's neighboring dimensions that are accessible through some drugs and some drugs let you see the blue people?
01:12:37.000 Like, what if that's like Smurfs?
01:12:40.000 The guy figured it out.
01:12:42.000 Well, yeah, I think once we were on here, we were talking about simulation theory.
01:12:48.000 But I was thinking, yeah, maybe if you can't process things with the human mind, like infinity or something, there's got to be some...
01:12:59.000 If it is a simulation, there's got to be some sort of code that you can put in.
01:13:03.000 That allows you to process it.
01:13:07.000 Well, one of the weird theories about all this UFO shit is that they're not coming from another planet.
01:13:13.000 They're coming from a neighboring dimension.
01:13:16.000 And it sounds stupid, but so does sending a video on your phone to Australia.
01:13:22.000 If you lived in 1956, you're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:13:27.000 If you pointed to a telephone and said, one day people are going to jerk off to that, you're like, what?
01:13:31.000 Yeah, you're going to have it in your pocket and you're going to watch porn on it.
01:13:34.000 Shut the fuck up.
01:13:36.000 Sounds ridiculous.
01:13:37.000 One day you're going to be able to travel in neighboring dimensions.
01:13:39.000 We'll crack this code and we're going to slowly start sending things to neighboring dimensions and having them return.
01:13:45.000 And then we're going to realize that human beings can survive there.
01:13:49.000 Yeah.
01:13:51.000 The whole UAP thing.
01:13:55.000 Yeah, it's been boggling my mind.
01:13:56.000 I mean, I've been into it since I was a little kid, but, you know, that one time, right after we were on the show the first time, I met Tom DeLonge from Blink-182.
01:14:06.000 He came to one of our shows in Denver.
01:14:08.000 He was so cool, and I was like, what's up?
01:14:11.000 And it was right after that first kind of pill-shaped thing had, like, officially been acknowledged by the Navy, and I was asking him about that, because he was, like, associated with that video.
01:14:21.000 And yeah, he's put me in a huge existential crisis right before we had to go play in front of like 12,000 people.
01:14:27.000 He was like, they're listening to everything.
01:14:29.000 They're cloaked.
01:14:30.000 There's thousands of UFOs.
01:14:31.000 Every single piece of text that gets sent is analyzed to create AI. The AI models, this is 2019, it's like the AI models they have would blow your mind.
01:14:39.000 He's like, it's something so profound it's gonna change the world forever in about 90 days.
01:14:43.000 This was October like 3rd, 2019. And I was like, You know, COVID was like, he's like, I can't tell you what, but it's going to change everything.
01:14:51.000 It's going to be so fucked up.
01:14:53.000 Tom DeLonge knew about COVID? I don't know, dude.
01:14:56.000 He told me that the world was going to be profoundly changed forever in a way that no one could understand in about 90 days.
01:15:02.000 And I was like, dude, the guy's really out there.
01:15:06.000 And then like, dude, I was like, what the fuck?
01:15:10.000 And then you had to go on stage.
01:15:11.000 Yeah, well, dude, totally freaking out.
01:15:13.000 And then basically everything he told me has been true.
01:15:17.000 That's what's weird.
01:15:18.000 The AI, everything.
01:15:20.000 All the videos.
01:15:23.000 Flying saucers or whatever.
01:15:24.000 I had Ray Kurzweil in here yesterday.
01:15:26.000 Whoa, really?
01:15:27.000 Yeah, and I was asking him about the potential negative downsides.
01:15:33.000 What's the possible complications of AI? They don't want to talk about that.
01:15:39.000 They want, like, all on the gas.
01:15:40.000 This is going to be good.
01:15:41.000 Everyone's going to be smarter.
01:15:44.000 I'm like, are there guardrails out there?
01:15:46.000 Is there a regulatory body in the United States government that's even capable of understanding what these people are talking about?
01:15:55.000 So what could be like a...
01:15:57.000 Example of a worst case scenario.
01:15:59.000 Weapon systems.
01:16:00.000 Weapon systems.
01:16:01.000 Weapon systems that are AI controlled that have an objective.
01:16:06.000 That's why don't they have like, aren't all the nuclear missiles or they were like, weren't they all offline so they can't get hacked and they're all operated by like a nine inch floppy disk from the 70s?
01:16:16.000 Like some absolutely.
01:16:18.000 There was something crazy like that.
01:16:19.000 It's some technology that like you've probably never even seen in your lifetime because it's so old.
01:16:24.000 Right.
01:16:25.000 I don't know if that's still the case.
01:16:27.000 But when I was first getting into computers, floppy disks were all you used.
01:16:31.000 But not the fucking big ones.
01:16:33.000 Oh, the big crazy ones?
01:16:34.000 Yeah.
01:16:34.000 Oh, the original ones.
01:16:35.000 And they hold like 256 kilobytes.
01:16:38.000 And that's enough?
01:16:39.000 That's enough to fucking blow up the world.
01:16:42.000 I mean, you look at how they dropped...
01:16:44.000 You ever seen the video of them using the Enola Gay, dropping the bombs off it?
01:16:48.000 It's so crazy.
01:16:49.000 It's so crazy.
01:16:50.000 It's just like...
01:16:50.000 A propeller plane!
01:16:52.000 It's a fucking propeller plane!
01:16:54.000 Drops a nuke.
01:16:56.000 And then they had to get out of there.
01:16:57.000 Let's get out of here!
01:16:59.000 There it is.
01:17:00.000 Update complete.
01:17:01.000 U.S. nuclear weapons no longer need floppy disks.
01:17:04.000 When's that from?
01:17:05.000 Look at the size of that thing.
01:17:06.000 It's from, like, last year, probably.
01:17:08.000 The modernizing effort was quietly completed in June, three years ago.
01:17:13.000 Modernizing.
01:17:13.000 Look at those disks.
01:17:14.000 October 29th.
01:17:16.000 Wow.
01:17:16.000 Well, that would make sense that that would be a good way that you would, like, make it hack-proof.
01:17:22.000 I don't know.
01:17:23.000 I prefer the analog sound of the analog nuke.
01:17:28.000 I'm a purist.
01:17:32.000 These digital nukes.
01:17:35.000 Yeah, and then now they've got hypersonic weapons that can change direction in flight with nukes.
01:17:42.000 Well, I think the stuff that AI is capable of when it comes to manipulating stock markets, it's too much to even think about for me.
01:17:55.000 Oh, it can do so much.
01:17:56.000 And this is what I kept saying.
01:17:58.000 If it's in the hands of the wrong people, what do you do?
01:18:01.000 Like, if one group gets control of AI and then uses that AI to take over.
01:18:07.000 Like, if you have artificial, like, complete intelligence that's sentient, and then you give it a task, They've already shown that these things are capable of lying.
01:18:16.000 Like, they tricked the CAPTCHA system by saying that they're vision impaired.
01:18:20.000 You know, that, are you a robot thing?
01:18:22.000 They said, actually, I'm vision impaired.
01:18:24.000 Like, oh, okay.
01:18:25.000 That's another movie from the 90s that doesn't get old is Terminator 2. That's a good one.
01:18:29.000 That's a good one.
01:18:31.000 There's a bunch of movies that got killed.
01:18:33.000 But they just have to be like really good movies, you know?
01:18:35.000 You could watch some movies from the 60s that are amazing.
01:18:38.000 The Hustler's amazing.
01:18:39.000 There's some great fucking movies that are old movies, but boy, a lot of them in the 80s, when everyone was doing coke, they're fucking terrible.
01:18:45.000 Horrible.
01:18:47.000 It was the weirdest.
01:18:50.000 You could literally see the drug not being there anymore.
01:18:54.000 So you see the things that they were doing in the 60s, the music in the 60s, the movies in the 60s, and then you see the 70s.
01:19:03.000 And it's like now, no one's doing psychedelics, and now the music is getting weird, and in the 80s, no one growing up doing that music has done psychedelics.
01:19:13.000 So in the 80s, you've got hair bands and craziness.
01:19:17.000 It's just like a totally different feel and vibe to the culture.
01:19:21.000 So if you were observing our culture, and you looked at the Vietnam War era, the 60s, the hippies, the music, Hendrix, the Doors, and then you go into the 80s, you go, what the fuck happened?
01:19:33.000 What the fuck happened?
01:19:34.000 This is crazy.
01:19:35.000 Yeah, you went from that to Flock of Seagulls.
01:19:38.000 Yeah.
01:19:39.000 And I ran.
01:19:40.000 I ran so far away.
01:19:44.000 But it's a weird shift.
01:19:47.000 You go from that to Poison.
01:19:49.000 It's a weird shift.
01:19:50.000 But at that point, that's when hip-hop got grimy.
01:19:53.000 That's true, too.
01:19:54.000 That's true, too.
01:19:56.000 Well, that's when hip-hop emerged, right?
01:19:58.000 Hip-hop got grimy in the 90s.
01:20:00.000 And then there's this fucking craziest of crazy theories that hip-hop was a CIA-funded operation.
01:20:09.000 It was designed to fill their prisons.
01:20:12.000 This is like the most recent of all of the...
01:20:16.000 Crazy, I hope it's not true, conspiracy theories.
01:20:19.000 Never heard that.
01:20:20.000 The CIA funded the development of hip-hop.
01:20:23.000 Well, the CIA has good taste.
01:20:25.000 They've been funding a lot of great shit.
01:20:28.000 They need to drop something now because there's a lot of trash out there.
01:20:32.000 We really got into this specific hip-hop in the last couple years that really only exists on YouTube.
01:20:39.000 Early 90s Memphis cassette tape rap.
01:20:42.000 Oh, wow.
01:20:43.000 It's not on Spotify.
01:20:44.000 It's not on anything.
01:20:45.000 It's It's only fan uploaded and it's like completely existed under the radar and I really didn't know about it.
01:20:52.000 Like Pat and I were just, you know, we're lifelong rap fans and it was crazy to like discover New shit that I'd never heard before.
01:21:01.000 Wow.
01:21:02.000 Like, maybe some of the best shit ever.
01:21:05.000 People like Tommy Wright III, 3-6 Mafia, Juicy J. We got really inspired by this guy, Lil Noyd, who made an incredible record called Paranoid Funk in the early 90s.
01:21:18.000 And you can only get it on YouTube?
01:21:19.000 Only get it, yeah, you can only get these records on YouTube.
01:21:23.000 Lil Noyd, Paranoid Funk.
01:21:25.000 Jamie!
01:21:28.000 They all sound amazing.
01:21:30.000 The Fidelity's all fucked up because they recorded in a weird way in bedrooms.
01:21:34.000 Like an 8-track cassette recorder.
01:21:37.000 It's like this really unique...
01:21:38.000 And then they're all mixed down to cassettes.
01:21:41.000 So all the transfers are from cassette.
01:21:43.000 They have a specific sound.
01:21:45.000 It's fucking incredible.
01:21:46.000 Scary.
01:21:47.000 They sound scary.
01:21:47.000 And a lot of it's real kind of murder involved.
01:21:51.000 And also like occult kind of shit.
01:21:54.000 Oh, shit.
01:21:55.000 Yeah.
01:21:56.000 And it's very slow.
01:21:57.000 Some of it's kind of demonic.
01:21:59.000 Some of it's a little demonic.
01:22:02.000 Damn.
01:22:02.000 There's like one or two songs that are from these guys that are on Spotify.
01:22:07.000 Lil Noyd has a song called Riding in the Chevy, which you can find on Spotify.
01:22:12.000 Somebody needs to turn these guys on to barbecue.
01:22:15.000 Barbecue needs to hear this music.
01:22:17.000 Demonic.
01:22:19.000 No, we were making the record and we called Lil Noyd and we got in touch with him.
01:22:24.000 We found him.
01:22:24.000 He was in Memphis and he drove up and hung out with us and we got him on track.
01:22:29.000 We were hanging out for a year and a half making this record and we'd go DJ and shit.
01:22:35.000 Three in the morning, we'd be driving to the hotel and we'd always put on Lil Noid.
01:22:39.000 And we're like, man, what would it be like if we got Lil Noid in the studio?
01:22:43.000 And we fucking did it.
01:22:44.000 And it was incredible.
01:22:46.000 And we got Juicy J also to be on the track.
01:22:49.000 But we reached out to this guy, Tommy Wright III, who was like, these guys have made these incredible records.
01:22:54.000 So Lil Noid, he's got an Instagram.
01:22:57.000 Yeah, that's how we found him.
01:22:59.000 We sent him a message.
01:23:01.000 Really nice guy.
01:23:05.000 His story's crazy because he made this album that's incredible.
01:23:13.000 It's like a classic to me.
01:23:15.000 I think before it even came out, went to prison for seven years, his career got completely destroyed.
01:23:27.000 And he was just a teenager.
01:23:28.000 Yeah.
01:23:28.000 Wow.
01:23:31.000 But it was crazy because we had, you know, we hadn't heard anything really recent from him.
01:23:35.000 We had him come to the studio and within about, I guess, 30 minutes he had like two verses written and it sounded the same as it did in the 90s, you know, like those tapes.
01:23:46.000 And he was, you know, he's so nice and just like, he's also just like, you know, We kept asking for cash for various reasons.
01:23:57.000 We just kept giving him cash.
01:24:00.000 He's like, I gotta rent a car.
01:24:02.000 I need $600 cash.
01:24:06.000 He was the shit.
01:24:07.000 That's cool that you got a hold of him.
01:24:09.000 That's pretty badass.
01:24:10.000 It was really fun.
01:24:11.000 It's great that you put him on the album.
01:24:12.000 We didn't expect to.
01:24:13.000 It was just a thing we tried, and it was like, fuck it.
01:24:15.000 I don't know.
01:24:16.000 We don't know what we're doing.
01:24:18.000 But he crushed it.
01:24:19.000 And Juicy J put scratching on our...
01:24:22.000 We would never think to put scratching on one of our records, but...
01:24:27.000 That's what he heard when we sent him the track.
01:24:29.000 He put it on there.
01:24:30.000 There's something cool about those guys that are willing to make their own stuff in the middle of Memphis.
01:24:38.000 Figure it out.
01:24:39.000 Just put it together.
01:24:40.000 I love very small little projects where people are piecing things together.
01:24:46.000 I mean that's how so much of the music we like came together.
01:24:49.000 Stacks and high records were that.
01:24:51.000 And Lee Scratch Perry.
01:24:53.000 They're like all just like very eclectic people who are doing it all themselves.
01:24:56.000 Completely DIY. Do you know Tonetta?
01:24:59.000 Have you heard of Tonetta?
01:25:00.000 I have not.
01:25:01.000 Tonetta's this guy in Canada.
01:25:02.000 I think he's in Toronto.
01:25:04.000 And he does everything like he was doing these YouTube videos.
01:25:08.000 And he does these videos and he put out an album.
01:25:10.000 I have this album and I can't get the full album on Spotify for some reason but you can get it on Apple.
01:25:15.000 But he has like a fucking, like a towel.
01:25:20.000 Has like a curtain behind him.
01:25:22.000 And he's playing the music and playing the track and singing.
01:25:26.000 Put on really big cock.
01:25:29.000 Because it's all freaky stuff.
01:25:31.000 He dresses up like a woman.
01:25:32.000 It's real weird.
01:25:34.000 You've got to see this.
01:25:35.000 Because it's...
01:25:37.000 Tonetta, a really big cock.
01:25:40.000 A really good cock.
01:25:41.000 The music video that you want with it.
01:25:42.000 Oh, okay.
01:25:43.000 You got it?
01:25:43.000 It was just a still frame.
01:25:45.000 Okay.
01:25:46.000 There's a documentary on YouTube about him, too.
01:25:48.000 Oh, really?
01:25:48.000 Oh, interesting.
01:25:49.000 So this guy, I found out about this guy.
01:25:52.000 Look at this guy.
01:26:04.000 No, keep going, bro.
01:26:06.000 But it's on YouTube.
01:26:07.000 That doesn't matter.
01:26:09.000 It doesn't matter?
01:26:09.000 No.
01:26:10.000 It's good, unfortunately.
01:26:12.000 God damn it.
01:26:13.000 Everything's on YouTube.
01:26:14.000 Yeah, we get pulled or copied.
01:26:15.000 I want that guy to get more attention, though.
01:26:17.000 That video looks like it's, like, 30 years old.
01:26:20.000 It's probably...
01:26:21.000 Is he still alive?
01:26:23.000 I don't know.
01:26:24.000 I don't know.
01:26:25.000 When was that made?
01:26:26.000 It was uploaded at least 10 years ago.
01:26:29.000 The most recent comment says, you're going to make this guy a rock star.
01:26:31.000 Oh, that was me.
01:26:32.000 I was trying back then.
01:26:35.000 It's fucking great.
01:26:37.000 I mean, it looks...
01:26:38.000 But the music is fun.
01:26:40.000 It's neat.
01:26:41.000 It's really neat.
01:26:48.000 I didn't want to see that goody trail.
01:26:50.000 That guy has a very prominent goody trail.
01:26:53.000 It reminds me of this band.
01:26:54.000 Oh, his stomach.
01:26:55.000 It kind of reminds me of the band.
01:26:56.000 Have you heard of the band The Frogs?
01:26:57.000 No.
01:26:59.000 I think they're from Milwaukee from the 90s, but it's kind of frog-esque.
01:27:05.000 Did they dress up like frogs?
01:27:07.000 They made some pretty insane songs.
01:27:15.000 Well, one of the fucking cool things about today, as opposed to when we were kids, is that you can instantaneously get music.
01:27:25.000 Oh, it's crazy.
01:27:26.000 It's so strange.
01:27:27.000 I mean, I remember very clearly the reaction to Napster.
01:27:31.000 And everybody freaked out over Napster.
01:27:34.000 I, you know, was thinking, like, you're not putting this genie back in the bottle.
01:27:38.000 Like, how are you going to...
01:27:39.000 Now that people know that they can use BitTorrent and they can download things for free and send things to people for free...
01:27:46.000 Dude, we've been DJing, spinning records, 45s, you know?
01:27:49.000 Just, like, really getting back into collecting vinyl and obsessing and trying to find good copies of shit.
01:27:57.000 I've got this one song, Cumbia de Sal, that I play, kind of like every night we DJ. I put it on the other night in New York City, and this girl came up to me.
01:28:04.000 She's like, I heard that in a restaurant this week.
01:28:07.000 I was like, God damn it.
01:28:08.000 Is it a possibly rare 45?
01:28:10.000 Just anybody now can have access to it.
01:28:13.000 It's actually inexcusable to have bad taste in music now.
01:28:15.000 If you have bad taste in music...
01:28:16.000 Right.
01:28:17.000 I mean, the amount of money I spent as a teenager on stuff that turned out to be horrible...
01:28:24.000 Because you couldn't check it out at all.
01:28:26.000 And I'd just be like, I would just buy a record based on the cover, based on someone talking about it.
01:28:32.000 And I'd just be like, this is fucking horrible.
01:28:34.000 Back when I was a kid.
01:28:36.000 Oh, you'd go to the record store.
01:28:37.000 And the people at the record store was always the thing.
01:28:39.000 The guys working there would always shit on your taste.
01:28:43.000 They were always real pompous record store people.
01:28:45.000 It was all the coolest fucking people.
01:28:47.000 They wanted to be the person who did dates.
01:28:48.000 That's why we wanted to work there.
01:28:50.000 But then the crazy part is when you get older and you realize what fucking losers those people were.
01:28:55.000 You're like, I thought that person was cool and they're fucking 25 making minimum wage at a fucking record store.
01:29:03.000 What a fucking loser.
01:29:04.000 It was the attitude they carried.
01:29:06.000 They were like a librarian.
01:29:08.000 You're like, oh, I only listen to Stockhausen.
01:29:12.000 Stockhausen.
01:29:13.000 Yeah, I'm only interested in European music.
01:29:16.000 Yeah.
01:29:17.000 I don't dig what America's doing these days.
01:29:20.000 Yeah.
01:29:21.000 Yeah, you would go and look through albums.
01:29:24.000 That was a big thing.
01:29:26.000 Like, the art of the album was a big part of the experience of buying a record.
01:29:30.000 Oh, yeah.
01:29:31.000 Big part that just died.
01:29:33.000 It died with the CD. CD is, like, so small.
01:29:37.000 So it's like looking at something on a flip phone.
01:29:39.000 It's always fucking broken.
01:29:41.000 Yeah.
01:29:42.000 The case is always cracked.
01:29:44.000 Goddammit.
01:29:44.000 Right?
01:29:45.000 They're always dropping cases.
01:29:46.000 I mean, I can't even...
01:29:47.000 Or you keep them in those big, giant books when they're all fucking scratched.
01:29:50.000 Mm-hmm.
01:29:51.000 Yep, they get scratched.
01:29:52.000 And I even bought a cleaner thing that you would polish the top edge to remove a lot of scratches.
01:29:58.000 We had a book when we were on tour, but we had this Credence CD. It was gold.
01:30:02.000 It was supposed to sound better.
01:30:04.000 Remember that?
01:30:04.000 Yeah.
01:30:05.000 It was a gold CD? It's a gold CD. I don't know.
01:30:07.000 Is this supposed to sound better?
01:30:09.000 Yeah.
01:30:10.000 I was just thinking about looking at an album cover now on Spotify.
01:30:13.000 I don't even know if I would recognize certain album covers from new stuff full size.
01:30:21.000 What do you mean?
01:30:21.000 I don't know.
01:30:22.000 My eyes are bad or something.
01:30:23.000 One thing that Spotify does that's cool is if there's a music video that goes along with the song, you see the video on the phone.
01:30:30.000 So if you want to watch a song, you have to see the artist actually play the song.
01:30:34.000 Yeah, we've made some of these, because we have that image on our record covers, a woman bowling her rear end.
01:30:48.000 I found these videos like a year and a half ago.
01:30:52.000 They're just like really offensive bowling animations.
01:30:57.000 Like when someone would get a strike, so it's like a bowling ball.
01:31:02.000 It's like Lee Harvey Oswald executing the pin, which is JFK. There's some really insane ones, but we had the guy that made those two.
01:31:14.000 So we hired that guy.
01:31:15.000 We have one like This Is Nowhere, the newest song.
01:31:19.000 Yeah, the bowling ball takes acid.
01:31:23.000 It's pretty good.
01:31:24.000 They're not nearly as good as the really offensive ones.
01:31:28.000 Our publicists won't let us be offensive.
01:31:30.000 The really offensive ones?
01:31:31.000 What do you mean?
01:31:31.000 Well, it's like, yeah, there's like a 9-11 bowling ball.
01:31:37.000 They're so insane.
01:31:41.000 You know, when you make a strike in a modern bowling alley, they have the ball...
01:31:46.000 A little animation.
01:31:47.000 A little animation.
01:31:49.000 You should find maybe...
01:31:51.000 Some of the ones I was looking up aren't real.
01:31:53.000 There's people that have made slightly offensive bowling animations.
01:31:58.000 None of them are real.
01:31:58.000 They're just...
01:32:02.000 This is the 9-11 one?
01:32:04.000 9-10.
01:32:06.000 Oh my god.
01:32:08.000 Oh my god.
01:32:10.000 The Lee Harvey Oswald one's very good.
01:32:15.000 Yeah, you could still be offensive at a bowling alley, though.
01:32:17.000 Think about the people that bowl.
01:32:18.000 Their tolerance for offensive jokes is probably pretty high.
01:32:21.000 They welcome it.
01:32:22.000 Yeah.
01:32:23.000 Bowlers?
01:32:24.000 There's no pretentious bowlers.
01:32:26.000 I don't think so.
01:32:27.000 No.
01:32:28.000 There's this restaurant in Akron called Luigi's.
01:32:32.000 It's like, you know, one of the oldest restaurants there.
01:32:35.000 It's this old Italian joint that's been there since the 40s.
01:32:40.000 And the whole wall is just plastered with these, you know, promo photos from the black and white promo photos that are signed.
01:32:49.000 And it's all professional bowlers.
01:32:52.000 Like, it's crazy.
01:32:53.000 You'd be like, bowling must have been just massive in Akron in the 50s.
01:32:57.000 These guys were celebrities coming in.
01:33:00.000 It's like...
01:33:01.000 Oh my God.
01:33:04.000 Oh my God.
01:33:06.000 So fucked up.
01:33:07.000 Oh, this is so fucked up.
01:33:09.000 Jesus.
01:33:11.000 It's a JFK bowling pin.
01:33:15.000 He takes it out.
01:33:17.000 Oh my god.
01:33:18.000 That's insane.
01:33:20.000 This one's great.
01:33:22.000 What is this one?
01:33:24.000 It's like Desert Storm.
01:33:26.000 Oh my god.
01:33:30.000 Oh Jesus Christ.
01:33:33.000 The bowling ball guns down the terrorists and leaves one terrorist running?
01:33:38.000 So it's a bowling ball with a fucking terrorist outfit on?
01:33:44.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:33:46.000 Oh, my God.
01:33:47.000 A pin on each side split is Jesus.
01:33:50.000 Oh, my God.
01:33:52.000 Shout out to the Corridor crew.
01:33:54.000 Those guys also make those fake robot videos we get from YouTube all the time.
01:33:59.000 Oh, really?
01:33:59.000 They're really good digital artists.
01:34:01.000 Damn.
01:34:02.000 That's hilarious.
01:34:03.000 Yeah, we used those guys.
01:34:08.000 Which ones the publicist wouldn't let you do?
01:34:11.000 I mean...
01:34:12.000 No, she was telling us what not to say and what to say today.
01:34:16.000 Oh, today?
01:34:17.000 We told her we're fucking 44-year-old men.
01:34:20.000 They tell you what to say and not to say?
01:34:22.000 That's hilarious.
01:34:24.000 It's hard enough to just talk.
01:34:26.000 God, that's hilarious.
01:34:26.000 Can't be thinking about what I can and cannot say.
01:34:29.000 Don't bring up vaccines.
01:34:32.000 Don't talk about the climate.
01:34:33.000 Actually, the last time we came on the show, right before we came on, we had a different publicist and they were like, you really should reconsider.
01:34:42.000 It's a very bad look to go on Rogan.
01:34:44.000 Yeah.
01:34:46.000 Insane.
01:34:47.000 Yeah.
01:34:48.000 But we realized, actually, it's a bigger audience than anything else we possibly would ever be presented from the publicist.
01:34:58.000 Even Rolling Stone magazine, I think the circulation's maybe 600,000 or something.
01:35:04.000 No one sees it.
01:35:05.000 Do you know who was on the cover of Rolling Stone this month?
01:35:08.000 No.
01:35:10.000 It's not what it used to be.
01:35:12.000 No.
01:35:12.000 It's just, it's weird now.
01:35:14.000 It's very weird.
01:35:15.000 Imagine a publicist suggesting we don't do Brogan.
01:35:18.000 Well, it's liberals.
01:35:20.000 They're crazy.
01:35:22.000 Hardcore leftist ideologists have this really bizarre idea in their head.
01:35:28.000 What do you think is going to happen with the...
01:35:32.000 The election this year.
01:35:35.000 Didn't your publicist tell you not to talk about that?
01:35:38.000 I was joking.
01:35:40.000 I keep getting these texts from the Democratic Party like, are you going to vote for Joe Biden?
01:35:47.000 I'm like, why would they be sending that text?
01:35:51.000 They must, you know, they must know.
01:35:55.000 They must know.
01:36:02.000 Want to hear the craziest story I heard today?
01:36:05.000 So Candace Owens released this video in which she says that the president of France, who is married to a 70-year-old woman who he met when he was 15, that that woman is actually a man.
01:36:19.000 And that woman fathered five children, and apparently she's saying there's some journalists have reported on this.
01:36:26.000 This is like some theory that people have had forever, and it's been a rumor, but these people actually investigated it?
01:36:33.000 And she said, I stake my entire reputation on this.
01:36:38.000 This is true.
01:36:40.000 Dude, I want to go on an island.
01:36:44.000 I want to move to an island.
01:36:45.000 Be careful which island.
01:36:47.000 We've been over this.
01:36:48.000 But if that's true, that is one of the most wild stories of all time.
01:36:53.000 That the president is married to a woman who's pretending she's a woman.
01:36:58.000 It's even wilder than him being married to a woman that was his teacher that he was fucking at 15. At 15, yeah.
01:37:04.000 It's the only way you can make it more wild.
01:37:06.000 It's...
01:37:09.000 It's crazy.
01:37:12.000 Because if that was a man, did he know at the time when he was 15?
01:37:17.000 You're 15, you're probably not good at judging whether or not someone's got a real one or something that's been doctored up.
01:37:25.000 That's a good point.
01:37:26.000 It is a good point, except now I'm correcting myself, because I'm saying, what kind of fucking trans operations were they doing back then?
01:37:33.000 We were talking about 40 years ago.
01:37:35.000 Only a 15-year-old virgin could really get fooled by it.
01:37:38.000 Yeah, 15-year-old, you have no idea.
01:37:40.000 And then this person's, like, much older than you, so they're really good at manipulating you.
01:37:44.000 This is the only pussy for you.
01:37:46.000 Yeah.
01:37:47.000 The only one.
01:37:49.000 Forever.
01:37:50.000 Forever.
01:37:51.000 Forever.
01:37:52.000 I'm with you.
01:37:52.000 I have not heard this conspiracy.
01:37:55.000 It's a wild one.
01:37:55.000 I love it.
01:37:56.000 I love a good one.
01:37:57.000 I love a good what the fuck story.
01:37:59.000 Yeah.
01:38:00.000 You know?
01:38:01.000 There's so many Big Mike ones.
01:38:03.000 They think that Michelle Obama is actually a man.
01:38:07.000 It's hilarious.
01:38:10.000 It's like...
01:38:10.000 It just takes on a life of its own.
01:38:14.000 No matter how ridiculous something is, it takes on a life of its own.
01:38:18.000 Yeah, so that's the...
01:38:19.000 Oh, come on, man.
01:38:20.000 That's the woman he's married to.
01:38:24.000 And so that's the daughter published his first novel, addresses mean comments about her mother.
01:38:32.000 Wow.
01:38:33.000 She looks like a woman to me.
01:38:35.000 But I've been tricked before.
01:38:40.000 She looks like an Olsen twin.
01:38:43.000 Like a well-cared-for Olsen twin who made it to 70. She looks like a woman.
01:38:50.000 But Candace Owens takes her reputation on this.
01:38:55.000 Daily Wire host Candace Owens takes her entire professional reputation on French First Lady being a man.
01:39:00.000 This is just wild!
01:39:02.000 She just knows her audience, man.
01:39:04.000 This is wild shit!
01:39:05.000 Didn't she just have another kid?
01:39:08.000 Maybe she's got some hormone imbalance.
01:39:10.000 Postpartum?
01:39:10.000 Yeah, it sounds like postpartum.
01:39:12.000 But she was saying this.
01:39:14.000 She was talking about someone else's reporting of this.
01:39:17.000 She's not like she's done this investigative journalism herself.
01:39:20.000 Some other group.
01:39:21.000 Who's written the piece on it that she was talking about where they investigated this?
01:39:27.000 Apparently for a long time.
01:39:32.000 The longer you investigate, what if you're a bad investigator?
01:39:35.000 That's true.
01:39:36.000 We could be investigating something for decades, but it doesn't mean it's better researched.
01:39:44.000 We've been investigating hit songs for 20 years, and we've never had one.
01:39:52.000 We've yet to have one.
01:39:55.000 That's not true, though.
01:39:56.000 You guys have read it.
01:39:57.000 I mean like a technical hit, like something that's charted in the top 40. Oh, those fucking charts.
01:40:02.000 How do they know now?
01:40:04.000 With everybody streaming shit, how do they know?
01:40:07.000 How do they know?
01:40:08.000 What goes on the chart?
01:40:09.000 I don't know.
01:40:10.000 Is it sales?
01:40:13.000 Is it radio plays?
01:40:14.000 I think it's a combination of sales and radio play.
01:40:19.000 Streams and radio play.
01:40:21.000 It's weird, you know?
01:40:22.000 You can just have some idiotic thing that hits on TikTok and you can have...
01:40:28.000 I saw an artist today.
01:40:32.000 They have like 15 million monthly listeners.
01:40:35.000 They've released two minutes of music.
01:40:38.000 But we've put out whatever, like 12 albums over 20 years.
01:40:42.000 They have two and a half million more listeners than we do.
01:40:46.000 So instantly.
01:40:49.000 Instantly.
01:40:49.000 It's crazy.
01:40:50.000 It's cool.
01:40:51.000 Well, it's interesting to watch it happen because this is a new thing.
01:40:55.000 It's a new thing with TikTok and YouTube and all these different things.
01:41:00.000 These social media hits.
01:41:02.000 Very weird.
01:41:03.000 It's weird to watch.
01:41:05.000 It's really weird to watch.
01:41:06.000 It's weird to watch, and if there's the option for this instant success, then people try to do whatever that person did, or a version of what that person does, and more and more outrageous, like all these people pulling pranks.
01:41:21.000 Someone's gonna get killed.
01:41:23.000 People have gotten close to being killed.
01:41:25.000 Some guy pantsed this dude, and the guy's gun dropped out of his sweatpants outside of this hip-hop place.
01:41:35.000 Yeah, what?
01:41:36.000 He pants a dude at a hip-hop show.
01:41:37.000 And his fucking gun falls out?
01:41:41.000 And you're filming it?
01:41:43.000 Yeah.
01:41:45.000 Yo!
01:41:45.000 I don't know, man.
01:41:46.000 They've been saying that for years.
01:41:47.000 Ever since Jackass.
01:41:48.000 Even before that, probably.
01:41:50.000 That's true.
01:41:51.000 I mean...
01:41:52.000 We're fucking humans.
01:41:54.000 We're always gonna kill ourselves.
01:41:55.000 Because we're so stupid.
01:41:58.000 I mean, didn't, like, Johnny Knoxville, like, fuck up his dick?
01:42:02.000 Yeah, he broke his dick.
01:42:03.000 Yeah, he, like, filleted it in his fucking chest.
01:42:07.000 Yeah, what did he do to break his dick?
01:42:09.000 I forget.
01:42:09.000 I think he was trying to flip a motorcycle.
01:42:13.000 And he let go of it or something.
01:42:16.000 That guy's been punched by Butterbean.
01:42:19.000 So many things have gone wrong.
01:42:21.000 He's one of the nicest LA celebrities.
01:42:23.000 Very nice.
01:42:24.000 He seems awesome.
01:42:25.000 Yeah, he's awesome.
01:42:25.000 He's a cool-ass dude, and his wife's really nice, too.
01:42:28.000 But the fact that even after being a movie star, he's still willing to go to bowl, launch him through the air, blindfolded.
01:42:36.000 So he had to use a catheter for three and a half years.
01:42:40.000 Jesus.
01:42:41.000 Whoa.
01:42:43.000 Yeah, he landed on his crotch.
01:42:45.000 The bike flew into the air and landed on his crotch.
01:42:48.000 Oh my god.
01:42:51.000 Oh, so it works.
01:42:52.000 Yay.
01:42:53.000 His dick works.
01:42:56.000 Somebody that works for us was just talking about how they had to have a catheter and they kept getting hard on it.
01:43:02.000 So they had to grease it before they went to bed.
01:43:05.000 Imagine if that's their thing now.
01:43:06.000 It becomes like a fetish, like a foot fetish.
01:43:08.000 Exactly.
01:43:09.000 It's like the sexual cannibal.
01:43:11.000 Imagine trying to bring that up with a lady.
01:43:13.000 Trying to say, well, there's this thing I like to do.
01:43:15.000 I put a tube down.
01:43:17.000 She'll have a tube.
01:43:19.000 Wait, what?
01:43:21.000 She was open for anal.
01:43:24.000 Like, what are you saying?
01:43:26.000 What are you trying to do to me?
01:43:28.000 Where's the tube go when it's inside of me?
01:43:30.000 What if it gets stuck in there?
01:43:31.000 No!
01:43:32.000 It's just for me.
01:43:33.000 Fuck me with a tube in your dick, you psycho.
01:43:37.000 Oh my god.
01:43:38.000 It's only like a little piece of the tube.
01:43:39.000 I won't go in all the way.
01:43:41.000 What?
01:43:42.000 And then the tube ends up getting stuck in there like that sea turtle where they have to pull the straw out of his nose.
01:43:47.000 Oh my god, man.
01:43:50.000 He gets a little too excited and he rams it in too hard.
01:43:53.000 Shit!
01:43:53.000 Fuck!
01:43:54.000 It's horrible, too, because there's fucking tears coming out of the turtle's eyes.
01:43:58.000 You know what I mean?
01:43:59.000 It's just like...
01:43:59.000 Oh, that video.
01:44:00.000 It's the worst video.
01:44:01.000 That video ruined straws.
01:44:03.000 Yeah.
01:44:03.000 Now straws are all paper.
01:44:04.000 That's why the straws went...
01:44:05.000 100%.
01:44:06.000 Okay.
01:44:07.000 Without doubt.
01:44:07.000 Fucking hate those...
01:44:08.000 Come on.
01:44:09.000 Because if it's really for...
01:44:09.000 Those cardboard straws are the worst soggy straw.
01:44:12.000 If it's really for just animals, we would have gotten rid of bottle caps a long time ago.
01:44:17.000 Bottle caps are one of the biggest problems with birds.
01:44:20.000 Birds eat these fucking bottle caps.
01:44:23.000 They don't know what they are.
01:44:24.000 And so they find these plastic floating bottle caps and wind up eating them.
01:44:28.000 There's like videos of these...
01:44:30.000 They've done autopsies on these birds where they open them up and their stomachs are filled with bottle caps from like plastic bottles.
01:44:37.000 So the idea that you should use a paper straw in a fucking bottle that we have a cap.
01:44:43.000 What about the caps?
01:44:44.000 What about the wrapping the paper straw comes in?
01:44:47.000 Shut the fuck up.
01:44:48.000 It's one video.
01:44:49.000 One video of a turtle.
01:44:50.000 It has to be.
01:44:52.000 Because here's the other thing too.
01:44:53.000 If you have a paper straw, I guarantee there's a coating inside of that paper straw.
01:45:00.000 That has to keep the straw from turning into mush.
01:45:03.000 What's that coating made out of?
01:45:05.000 Is it worse for you than plastic straws?
01:45:08.000 I have a feeling it probably is.
01:45:10.000 Like, what's in that fucking coating?
01:45:12.000 Let's find that out.
01:45:13.000 Find that out, Jamie.
01:45:14.000 What is in the coating in paper straws?
01:45:17.000 Because it can't be good for you.
01:45:18.000 It could just be wax.
01:45:19.000 I hope it's wax.
01:45:20.000 Dude, speaking of that, do you know anybody that actually enjoyed waxed lips?
01:45:28.000 The little liquor inside of him?
01:45:30.000 Yeah, like, what the fuck was that?
01:45:31.000 What's in it there?
01:45:32.000 Most common used coating material for paper straws are polyethylene PE or acrylon resin.
01:45:38.000 The same material is used for making plastic bags and adhesives.
01:45:42.000 Paper cups are also coated with the same materials as paper straws.
01:45:46.000 Okay, is that shit bad for you?
01:45:48.000 So you're sucking on a plastic bag.
01:45:49.000 You're sucking on polyethylene or acrylic resin is what you're sucking on.
01:45:53.000 So here's the question.
01:45:55.000 How much of that gets in your system from that?
01:45:57.000 Because we know that there's microplastics that are in everybody's body.
01:46:02.000 You're getting microplastics all the time.
01:46:04.000 So is this shit bad for you?
01:46:07.000 What is the side effects of this stuff?
01:46:09.000 Does it say, Jamie?
01:46:10.000 Side effects?
01:46:11.000 Let's try that.
01:46:13.000 Side effects in humans.
01:46:15.000 Is it safe?
01:46:17.000 Burning sensation in eyes.
01:46:19.000 Polyethylene has been extensively reviewed by regulatory authorities and determined to be non-hazardous by normal routes of exposure, including skin contact, inhalation, and ingestion.
01:46:29.000 That's from the chemical company.
01:46:32.000 Okay, here it says, exposure to high doses of polyethylene was found to decrease cell viability and increase the production of reactive oxygen species in cell mitochondria, which are vital energy producing organellas.
01:46:46.000 So it's good for you.
01:46:47.000 It seems like it's not good for you to get a lot of it, but they're saying it's okay in the doses they're giving you, It's been shown to have adverse effects on cells, exposure to high doses of it.
01:47:02.000 So if exposures that are high doses of it are bad for you, what is this?
01:47:07.000 How bad for you is exposed to low doses?
01:47:10.000 Is it accumulative?
01:47:12.000 Does it build up in your body?
01:47:14.000 It must just hang out in your liver or something.
01:47:16.000 Like, what are those forever chemicals that everyone's terrified of?
01:47:20.000 Right?
01:47:21.000 There's, like, certain forever chemicals that are coatings of things that can get into your body.
01:47:26.000 What does that mean?
01:47:27.000 Because people say that all the time.
01:47:29.000 Like, these things have, like, BPAs.
01:47:31.000 They're forever chemicals.
01:47:33.000 Right, right.
01:47:33.000 Maybe, like, the half-life is just incredibly long.
01:47:38.000 Okay.
01:47:39.000 PFAS, that's what it is.
01:47:40.000 Forever chemicals found in tap water.
01:47:43.000 Jesus Christ.
01:47:45.000 PFAS are per- and polyfluorinated akyl substances known as forever chemicals, are a large chemical family of over 10,000 highly persistent chemicals that don't occur in nature.
01:47:58.000 Oh great.
01:48:00.000 They don't occur in nature, but we know how to make them.
01:48:03.000 PFOA and PFOS are found in items ranging from cookware and paper food packaging to personal care products, carpeting and firefighting foam, and provide stain resistance.
01:48:16.000 PFOA is a suspected endocrine disruptor and possible carcinogen, and PFOS has been linked to fertility problems.
01:48:25.000 We are fucking poisoning ourselves.
01:48:30.000 Oh, man.
01:48:31.000 We are poisoning ourselves.
01:48:34.000 I had this lady on.
01:48:35.000 Her name is Dr. Shanna Swan, and she wrote a book called Countdown, and it's all about all these different microplastics and chemicals getting into our bodies and the effect that it's having on human development.
01:48:46.000 It's bananas.
01:48:48.000 I bet.
01:48:49.000 I mean, I remember going through my grandfather's garage as a kid and just seeing, like, this is in the 80s.
01:48:56.000 DDT? Well, my mom used to keep DDT in our basement.
01:48:59.000 No way!
01:49:00.000 No way!
01:49:01.000 But he would have all the stuff that was definitely illegal by the 80s, you know, like whatever chemicals and spray shit.
01:49:08.000 That shit, I mean, I'm sure there was such crazy...
01:49:11.000 That's how my grandpa died.
01:49:13.000 He was a handyman and a yard guy and had his own company.
01:49:16.000 And, you know, for every job he would take the fertilizer in the bucket, put the water in, he'd put his hand in and he'd stir it up.
01:49:25.000 And, yeah, he had just bone cancer everywhere.
01:49:29.000 It's like Roundup or whatever.
01:49:32.000 Yeah, it was just the common thing he got at the hardware store.
01:49:34.000 Dude, I've heard horse strays about people, golfers, who keep their tees in their mouth.
01:49:39.000 Because the shit they put on the golf course is fucking horrible.
01:49:42.000 I've heard that too.
01:49:42.000 Jamie, you're a golfer.
01:49:46.000 Do you know of anybody who got sick from doing that?
01:49:49.000 What is it?
01:49:50.000 I knew a dude who lived next to a golf course and from drinking groundwater got bone cancer.
01:49:55.000 Not just him, but a bunch of people in his neighborhood to the point where there was some sort of a class action lawsuit.
01:50:01.000 This dude had a fake femur.
01:50:03.000 He had like a rod because he developed cancer in his femur.
01:50:08.000 Dude, they paint the grass and shit.
01:50:11.000 They put all this crazy...
01:50:12.000 That's why becoming a new parent nowadays is such madness.
01:50:16.000 Because you start to investigate this shit and it's fucking crazy.
01:50:18.000 The fear is it just continues to get worse.
01:50:21.000 It's not getting better.
01:50:23.000 And there's more of these kind of chemicals and things that are introduced into our lives.
01:50:27.000 And as industrial...
01:50:31.000 Agriculture grows.
01:50:33.000 And regenerative agriculture is more difficult to do.
01:50:36.000 And it's sort of niche.
01:50:38.000 It's scarier and scarier.
01:50:39.000 You start going down the rabbit hole.
01:50:41.000 What is it?
01:50:42.000 The chemicals from antidepressants don't deteriorate.
01:50:46.000 Now you can find them in tap water.
01:50:49.000 Yeah, you find them in piss.
01:50:51.000 People piss them out.
01:50:52.000 A rare snopes true.
01:50:55.000 I don't know about how much it happens, but it happened for sure.
01:51:00.000 Okay, it says, Navy Lieutenant George M. Pryor, 30, played 36 holes of golf at the Army-Navy Country Club in Arlington, Virginia.
01:51:08.000 Even before the last hole, Pryor was complaining of a headache.
01:51:11.000 By nightfall, he was feverish and nauseated and had developed a rash.
01:51:15.000 Four days later, Pryor was in Bethesda Naval Hospital with 104.5 degree fever, his body covered in blisters.
01:51:21.000 He died 10 days later after a toxic substance had burned the skin from 80% of his body.
01:51:28.000 And caused his major organs to fail.
01:51:30.000 The toxic substance was determined to be daconil, an FDA-approved fungicide that had been sprayed on the Army-Navy golf course twice a week.
01:51:40.000 Prior apparently had hypersensitivity to the chemical used in the fungicide, causing a severe allergic reaction.
01:51:46.000 His widow filed a $20 million lawsuit against the manufacturer, Diamond Shamrock Chemical Company.
01:51:52.000 The lawsuit was eventually settled out of court.
01:51:55.000 Wow.
01:51:57.000 Yeah, man.
01:51:58.000 Whoa.
01:51:59.000 Heavy.
01:52:00.000 Whoa.
01:52:01.000 Just putting a T in your mouth.
01:52:03.000 I think the Bill Murray character in Caddyshack, I think he's affected by the golf course chemicals.
01:52:11.000 Well, it kind of makes sense.
01:52:13.000 It doesn't really make sense if you have that much grass.
01:52:16.000 How do you have all that grass?
01:52:17.000 What are you doing to keep that grass happy?
01:52:19.000 We hung out with Bill Murray last week.
01:52:21.000 What was that like?
01:52:24.000 He introduced us on stage.
01:52:25.000 It was fucking amazing.
01:52:26.000 He introduced you on stage?
01:52:27.000 And then he jumped on stage and started playing bongos while we were playing Lonely Boy.
01:52:32.000 That's amazing.
01:52:34.000 That's amazing.
01:52:35.000 He's...
01:52:36.000 Man, he's just like...
01:52:37.000 How old is he?
01:52:38.000 I think he was born in 1950. He's 74. He's just fucking fast, smart.
01:52:49.000 He hasn't slowed down at all.
01:52:51.000 I heard he doesn't have a phone that you have to call an answering machine.
01:52:55.000 He's just whip-smart.
01:52:58.000 1950, BAM, son!
01:53:00.000 On the nose.
01:53:01.000 That was three for three.
01:53:02.000 That's four.
01:53:02.000 That was the fourth, right?
01:53:03.000 That was just so fast, you know what I mean?
01:53:05.000 Was that the third one?
01:53:05.000 He was really nice.
01:53:08.000 Yeah, I'm a super fan of Bill Murray.
01:53:12.000 And I'm actually just too nervous to even speak to him the first time I met him.
01:53:16.000 I sat right behind him.
01:53:17.000 Actually, my brother sat right behind him, and I sat right behind his brother at Game 7 of the World Series in Cleveland when the Cubs beat the Indians.
01:53:28.000 And it was amazing.
01:53:30.000 But I was too nervous to talk to him.
01:53:31.000 My brother, of course, hit him on the shoulder.
01:53:33.000 I was like...
01:53:35.000 Bill said something sassy to him.
01:53:37.000 His brother had the font on his phone at like 72 point.
01:53:44.000 I could read it from behind him.
01:53:47.000 And at one point he was texting someone who said, what's the score?
01:53:52.000 I'm too drunk to read the score.
01:54:00.000 That's hilarious.
01:54:02.000 That's hilarious.
01:54:03.000 I think about this a lot.
01:54:06.000 Watching sports in the 80s when I was a kid.
01:54:11.000 How do we even see the television?
01:54:14.000 Because the TV would be this big.
01:54:15.000 And you watch the footage on YouTube now, did it look better on TV back then?
01:54:21.000 Because you can't even see what the fuck's happening.
01:54:24.000 You're probably getting copies of copies, so maybe it's deteriorated.
01:54:27.000 But the television quality back then was awful.
01:54:29.000 I'm trying to think, did anybody actually watch any...
01:54:32.000 My dad used to always just listen to the games, and I'm like, probably it was better than watching the fucking thing.
01:54:39.000 Yeah, I wonder.
01:54:40.000 I wonder how good the cameras even picked up high-speed motion and shit, right?
01:54:45.000 Because it's all just film cameras, right?
01:54:48.000 Wouldn't the exposure vary depending on what you're focusing on?
01:54:52.000 Yeah, old basketball footage is pretty trash.
01:54:55.000 Let me see what that looks like.
01:54:58.000 Old basketball.
01:54:59.000 Let's watch some basketball from like the 50s.
01:55:02.000 Let's watch it from the 80s.
01:55:03.000 You won't be able to see anything.
01:55:04.000 The 80s.
01:55:04.000 The 50s probably looks good.
01:55:06.000 Yeah.
01:55:06.000 Okay.
01:55:06.000 The 80s.
01:55:08.000 Let's try basketball from the 80s.
01:55:11.000 Yeah, they didn't have digital cameras.
01:55:14.000 Big difference.
01:55:15.000 Look at that shit.
01:55:16.000 You can barely see what's happening.
01:55:19.000 Well, they would be able to focus on people's faces.
01:55:22.000 But like when you're watching guys run and they change their distance, Maybe that's why Wheaties were so popular in the 80s, because it's the only time you can clearly see the basketball players.
01:55:36.000 That's hilarious.
01:55:38.000 Look at that footage.
01:55:39.000 Dude, you can't make out anybody's face.
01:55:42.000 Yeah, everything was so low resolution.
01:55:45.000 You either have to have Sports Illustrated or Wheaties to tell who's fucking playing sports.
01:55:49.000 Yeah, the resolution's awful.
01:55:52.000 All of the 80s footage is like this.
01:55:54.000 You could recreate this in AI like that.
01:55:58.000 No problem.
01:55:59.000 Imagine trying to shoot a real UFO with a camera like this, trying to show it to you.
01:56:04.000 No man, I saw this shit.
01:56:07.000 Have you ever seen anything?
01:56:12.000 You know, I saw something once and it was right after 9-11.
01:56:19.000 And it was weird because I'd seen this fireball kind of go through the sky like a day or two earlier.
01:56:26.000 This was all during the no-fly period of time.
01:56:30.000 Right after 9-11.
01:56:32.000 But what I saw that was...
01:56:34.000 I still don't know what the fuck it was.
01:56:36.000 I was driving my girlfriend from Akron.
01:56:40.000 She went to school at the time.
01:56:41.000 She was going to Oberlin.
01:56:43.000 It's a really liberal school out in the middle of nowhere in Ohio.
01:56:46.000 And I was driving out there.
01:56:47.000 And it's on the way towards the FAA... Headquarters is in Lorain or Elyria, Ohio.
01:56:54.000 That's where they monitor all the flights for North America or for the United States.
01:56:59.000 Anyway, I was driving out there and I saw this thing hovering over a house.
01:57:03.000 I took note because there was no fly zone.
01:57:07.000 It looked like a helicopter or something because there was a light coming down but no other lights.
01:57:14.000 But it was like only 100 feet above this house in the middle of nowhere, right along the same stretch of road where I had seen this fireball a couple days earlier.
01:57:22.000 And I was driving a stick shift Ford Escort and I put it in neutral and rolled down the windows as I got closer and there was like no sound coming from this thing.
01:57:33.000 And my girlfriend had like one of those Nextell phones, the early cell phone, and she turned it on because you should call someone.
01:57:44.000 Call the police or something.
01:57:45.000 This is insane.
01:57:46.000 And the minute the screen turned on, this thing just took off.
01:57:50.000 It didn't go thousands of miles an hour, but it went really, really fast.
01:57:54.000 It made no sound.
01:57:54.000 It just was like...
01:57:55.000 That's the only thing I've ever seen.
01:57:59.000 But I still don't know what the fuck it was.
01:58:02.000 But you see weird shit, like, in Ohio, because there's Wright-Patterson Air Force Base there.
01:58:06.000 Yeah.
01:58:06.000 One time I was driving, we were on tour, I was driving us in the right, like, the tree lines on the side of the road, and, like, I'm just driving, and the Harrier just, like, pops up.
01:58:20.000 You know, those planes that can kind of just pop up, like, right maybe 100 yards from the road.
01:58:27.000 But, yeah, that's where they apparently keep the alien corpses, you know?
01:58:31.000 Yeah, that's what they supposedly flew the wreckage from Roswell, New Mexico to write Patterson Air Force Base.
01:58:37.000 It's a good place to keep it because I'm from Ohio and I've never actually been into Dayton, Ohio.
01:58:44.000 Just the outside of Dayton.
01:58:47.000 If they do still have that there, that's really rude.
01:58:52.000 You should let people see that.
01:58:53.000 If you guys really did find a fucking crashed UFO, how about a little heads up?
01:58:59.000 It's rude.
01:59:00.000 It's rude that they've had it for so long.
01:59:03.000 People go to their grave just guessing.
01:59:05.000 They say that apparently the recovered materials and stuff, in order to not have to turn it over to the public, they keep giving it to private defense contractors.
01:59:21.000 Really?
01:59:22.000 That's who holds the materials.
01:59:23.000 I think that's what's good.
01:59:24.000 Well, I would imagine, if I was the government and I had a crashed UFO, That's why I bring it to the private defense contractors.
01:59:32.000 They're already good at keeping secrets.
01:59:34.000 They already know how to make your weapons.
01:59:35.000 And they know how to do stuff that you don't know how to do.
01:59:37.000 They're doing it for you.
01:59:38.000 It's not like the fucking government themselves makes the missiles.
01:59:41.000 They hire people to make the missiles.
01:59:43.000 There's this massive building in Akron called the AirDoc.
01:59:46.000 It was built in the late 20s.
01:59:50.000 So they could build blimps.
01:59:52.000 They used to build all the blimps in Akron.
01:59:55.000 It's incredible.
01:59:55.000 Looks like Star Wars.
01:59:57.000 I mean, it's fucking nuts.
01:59:58.000 Because it's right in the middle of a neighborhood.
02:00:00.000 It rains.
02:00:01.000 It has its own atmosphere.
02:00:02.000 It rains inside there.
02:00:05.000 It's the most ominous-looking structure.
02:00:08.000 It's so fucking long and big.
02:00:11.000 Holy shit!
02:00:12.000 That's so big!
02:00:14.000 You can see it from the whole south side of the city.
02:00:19.000 But now they have this crazy perimeter around it.
02:00:22.000 It's Lockheed Martin, I think, controls it.
02:00:25.000 And I'm like, what the fuck are they building in there?
02:00:29.000 But you can't get close to it.
02:00:30.000 You can't get close at all.
02:00:32.000 What they're building there is probably minor league stuff.
02:00:35.000 The stuff they build out in the middle of nowhere in the desert carved into the mountain, that's the scary shit.
02:00:39.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:00:40.000 I think most of what people are seeing is a government aircraft.
02:00:44.000 Either a drone or something.
02:00:46.000 That's why they won't even acknowledge the hypersonic missile.
02:00:49.000 They just announced that they're discontinuing research on the hypersonic missile when clearly they must be fully operational.
02:00:59.000 Yeah, I wouldn't imagine they would tell us.
02:01:02.000 Like, they don't have to.
02:01:03.000 That's one of the most incredible things about the way the government works, is that the amount of money that they get—that was the argument for the reason why this hasn't been disclosed.
02:01:13.000 Like, the government doesn't want to come out and say—it was the money allocation.
02:01:18.000 Like, you had to have lied to Congress about where the money was going.
02:01:21.000 Well, someone was saying it's like the opposite of brinkmanship.
02:01:24.000 There's weapons that exist that if other countries knew they existed would just be such a fucking threat that it would cause the idea that someone had something that no other country had, that you could wield that kind of weapon.
02:01:41.000 So there's these weapons that get invented that have to remain top secret because it would just upend the whole fucking power structure.
02:01:50.000 Damn.
02:01:51.000 Well, if that's what those fucking drones are, that makes sense.
02:01:53.000 If the whole power structure would get...
02:01:55.000 I mean, how would it not get upended by something that doesn't rely on conventional propulsion and moves insane in a way that, like, it's not even physically possible?
02:02:05.000 No sound?
02:02:06.000 That Tic Tac thing?
02:02:07.000 Like, if that thing is ours, and they've had it since 2004?
02:02:12.000 Right, imagine what they're...
02:02:13.000 Yeah, at now.
02:02:14.000 And also...
02:02:14.000 Yeah, what are they making now?
02:02:15.000 But I'm sure that AI stuff is just...
02:02:17.000 That's the weapon that, like, I'm sure...
02:02:19.000 Yeah.
02:02:21.000 And they're also developing quantum computing, which will apparently, like all passcodes, all that nonsense, it's all out the window now.
02:02:29.000 It'll be able to sort all that out really quick.
02:02:33.000 Yeah, I mean, that's what, yeah, I think things are going to get progressively more insane over the next decade.
02:02:42.000 Yeah, they're going to get fucking real weird.
02:02:43.000 Yeah, exponentially crazy.
02:02:45.000 Real weird.
02:02:46.000 Yeah.
02:02:46.000 But I, yeah, Dan and I are always talking about why are all these billionaires building bunkers?
02:02:51.000 Like, what the fuck?
02:02:53.000 We looked at some bunkers.
02:02:55.000 Did you?
02:02:55.000 For sale.
02:02:57.000 But you want to live, though.
02:02:58.000 You'd be surprised what you can find.
02:03:00.000 Like the old missile silos.
02:03:01.000 Really cool, furnished, fully furnished.
02:03:04.000 If we go back to full-on Mad Max days, like if there's a nuclear war, what are you coming back to?
02:03:11.000 What's going to be left?
02:03:12.000 Well, I tell you what we have to do is take acid, praise each other, and we'll be safe.
02:03:18.000 And listen to your music.
02:03:19.000 Yeah.
02:03:19.000 Yeah.
02:03:20.000 We were talking about Koresh before we started the podcast.
02:03:23.000 He was out here in Waco, and they're all failed rock stars.
02:03:28.000 Yeah.
02:03:29.000 Like a lot of these guys, they're failed rock stars.
02:03:31.000 Manson, Koresh.
02:03:32.000 Manson, Koresh, yeah.
02:03:33.000 Yeah.
02:03:34.000 There's probably a bunch of them.
02:03:36.000 Jim Jones, he looks like he could have been a loud singer.
02:03:39.000 There's a guitar player named Glenn Schwartz from Cleveland.
02:03:42.000 He was one of our big influences.
02:03:44.000 He played in a cult during the 70s.
02:03:47.000 And yeah, the cult leader was just a failed rock star.
02:03:50.000 He played in a cult.
02:03:51.000 He had one of the first Christian rock bands.
02:03:55.000 Ever, yeah.
02:03:55.000 The All Saved Freak Band.
02:03:57.000 The All Saved Freak Band.
02:03:59.000 They actually have some insane guitar riffs.
02:04:01.000 What's that?
02:04:02.000 Oh, yeah, because Glenn Schwartz is playing guitar.
02:04:04.000 The guy turned out, this guy named Glenn Schwartz, and he became a follower of his, and he was one of the most ripping guitar players.
02:04:12.000 Oh, my God.
02:04:13.000 It's like Jimi Hendrix playing Christian rock.
02:04:14.000 What's that?
02:04:15.000 They have one song.
02:04:16.000 The Fallen Salvation of the White Hendrix.
02:04:18.000 Dude, we used to go see him at this little bar in the flats, right on the river in Cleveland.
02:04:23.000 Was lost to a religious cult.
02:04:25.000 Whoa!
02:04:26.000 We had him open for us a couple times.
02:04:27.000 He would just go on these rants screaming.
02:04:30.000 Religious rants?
02:04:31.000 It was incredible.
02:04:32.000 Oh, wow.
02:04:34.000 So he would do the religious rants in between the songs?
02:04:37.000 That's what he looks like now?
02:04:38.000 He passed away a few years ago, but he was the original guitar player in the James Gang.
02:04:42.000 See, look, there's Dan and Joe Walsh.
02:04:45.000 Yeah, we played with them.
02:04:47.000 We flew him down to...
02:04:49.000 He was one of Joe Walsh's first influences.
02:04:52.000 Joe said the reason he wanted to play rock and roll is because of Glenn.
02:04:56.000 Wow.
02:04:56.000 Now imagine that because Joe's the guy who gave Jimmy Page the Les Paul.
02:05:02.000 You know what I mean?
02:05:03.000 He's also the guy that changed the Eagles.
02:05:06.000 He changed a lot of things.
02:05:09.000 He changed a lot of things.
02:05:11.000 Anyway, Glenn was amazing.
02:05:13.000 Wow.
02:05:15.000 So what was this religious cult?
02:05:17.000 What was it called?
02:05:19.000 I don't remember what it was called.
02:05:21.000 But acid definitely played a role.
02:05:23.000 Absolutely.
02:05:24.000 Yeah.
02:05:25.000 Yeah.
02:05:26.000 Well, that's the thing about making these things legal.
02:05:30.000 That's the real...
02:05:31.000 When people say that we're propping up the cartel, true.
02:05:34.000 Yes, definitely.
02:05:36.000 And I think you should be able to do whatever you want as a grown adult.
02:05:39.000 However, if we do make things legal, we're going to lose some folks.
02:05:42.000 Yeah.
02:05:43.000 We're gonna lose some folks.
02:05:46.000 There's drugs out there that I don't give a fuck if Purdue Pharma is making it.
02:05:52.000 Even if it's pure.
02:05:53.000 Like, people are gonna die.
02:05:55.000 For sure.
02:05:56.000 And are we willing to do that?
02:05:59.000 Because there's gonna be a bunch of people that try heroin if heroin becomes legal.
02:06:04.000 I'm not going to do it, but I'm a 56-year-old man.
02:06:08.000 I'm not an 18-year-old kid that'd be like, fuck it, I'll try it.
02:06:13.000 Some of this unregulated psychedelic stuff, a friend of mine...
02:06:22.000 Asked me if I wanted to micro-dose mushrooms, and I said, you know, of course.
02:06:27.000 Like, this is a small amount, and like, I was in LA in an Uber Driving down Sunset and all of a sudden I realized that it was not a microdose.
02:06:41.000 I was like, what the fuck?
02:06:43.000 She was like, there's two and a half grams in the whole bar.
02:06:46.000 And I was like, duh.
02:06:48.000 It was like two and a half grams in each square.
02:06:52.000 And I had like one and a half.
02:06:54.000 I was like, there's no fucking way.
02:06:56.000 I can't even read my phone.
02:06:58.000 It looks like, you know, All digital.
02:07:02.000 I had to tell the Uber driver to turn the fucking music, change it, because it was just like...
02:07:06.000 I was going into...
02:07:08.000 I felt like I was inside of a computer.
02:07:11.000 Oh my god!
02:07:13.000 And I was like...
02:07:14.000 We were making our record.
02:07:16.000 I was like, get me back to the hotel.
02:07:19.000 We were staying at the Chateau Marmont.
02:07:21.000 This is our first time staying there in like five years.
02:07:24.000 Or longer.
02:07:25.000 Because they had tried to turn into a private club and it was kind of close to the public.
02:07:30.000 We were back there for the first time.
02:07:32.000 And I'm like fucking tripping my balls off.
02:07:37.000 I'm like, just get me back to the fucking room.
02:07:39.000 And I'm like beelining up the stairs and the security guy is like, He's like, excuse me.
02:07:48.000 What are you doing here?
02:07:49.000 I was like, I'm staying here.
02:07:50.000 He's like, where's your key?
02:07:51.000 I was like, I don't know.
02:07:53.000 He's like, what's your name?
02:07:55.000 And I'm like, dude, my alias was...
02:07:58.000 Don't tell your alias.
02:08:00.000 I'll change it, but it was...
02:08:01.000 It's Sir Eaton Hogg from Spinal Tap.
02:08:06.000 He's like, what's your name?
02:08:08.000 I was like, Eaton Hogg.
02:08:10.000 He's like, leave the premises immediately.
02:08:12.000 Oh, no.
02:08:13.000 And then I was like, what?
02:08:14.000 He's like, leave the premises immediately.
02:08:17.000 And then finally, I'm freaking out.
02:08:18.000 The general manager comes in and is like, Mr. Hogg, please come to your room.
02:08:23.000 I was like, you don't know what's happening to me right now.
02:08:26.000 What's going on?
02:08:30.000 What did the guy look like that was questioning you?
02:08:33.000 He looked like a Bond villain.
02:08:35.000 The hotel alias always fucks us up.
02:08:38.000 No one's ever caught looking for us.
02:08:41.000 That's what they tell you.
02:08:42.000 That's one of the big things for people that aren't actually famous.
02:08:46.000 They make you feel better by being like, Dan, Pat, you need an alias now.
02:08:51.000 That's like rule number one of how to make your fucking client feel better as a manager.
02:08:59.000 So now all that happens is when we have it, we're just trying to get into a room.
02:09:03.000 Whenever we lose our key, we're like, no, it's under an alias.
02:09:06.000 We're like, excuse me.
02:09:07.000 And they're like, who the fuck do you think you are?
02:09:09.000 Having a fucking fake name.
02:09:11.000 No one's recognized you ever in this hotel.
02:09:15.000 There's someone actually famous sitting right there.
02:09:17.000 Susan Sarandon's right here.
02:09:19.000 Who the fuck do you think?
02:09:19.000 She's under her real name, by the way.
02:09:21.000 I think it's time to stop the fucking fake name.
02:09:23.000 Yeah, but if you announce that, then they're going to go looking for you.
02:09:26.000 Now you've got to change Sir Eaton Hog, though.
02:09:28.000 I've worn it out.
02:09:31.000 I want the attention.
02:09:33.000 I want to start checking in under Sean Penn or something.
02:09:38.000 Sean Penn and Guest.
02:09:39.000 He's done a lot of groundwork over the years.
02:09:42.000 There might just be random ladies calling for you all the time.
02:09:47.000 That dude is, he's wild.
02:09:49.000 He does some wild shit.
02:09:51.000 Like, they're going down to South America, or to Mexico, and talking to El Chapo.
02:09:57.000 Like, what?
02:09:58.000 What are you doing?
02:09:59.000 Writing for the Rolling Stone?
02:10:00.000 And then El Chapo got thrown in prison.
02:10:02.000 He was in Haiti too, right?
02:10:04.000 Um, was he in Haiti?
02:10:06.000 Imagine if Sean Penn's a problem.
02:10:08.000 And he was in Ukraine, too.
02:10:10.000 He said he wanted to melt his Oscars to make bullets.
02:10:13.000 It's like Bono and him are attracted to it.
02:10:15.000 They need that kind of attention, whatever it is.
02:10:17.000 Well, I think they feel a social responsibility that comes with their fame.
02:10:22.000 It's like guys that want to save a chick.
02:10:26.000 Our friend Brian calls him Captain Save-A-Ho.
02:10:30.000 I've heard that one before.
02:10:32.000 Yeah.
02:10:32.000 That's a good one.
02:10:33.000 There are guys like that.
02:10:35.000 White Knight.
02:10:36.000 I generally think those guys are guys with problems that want to avoid their own problems.
02:10:40.000 And they look at those girls and go, I'm going to fix that.
02:10:44.000 And that's the thing to concentrate on.
02:10:46.000 Have you thought about getting into psychiatry?
02:10:47.000 I think I have.
02:10:49.000 I'm going to get a couch.
02:10:51.000 Do you want to tell me you think Sean Penn and Bono might have some sort of complex somewhere?
02:10:56.000 I think perhaps.
02:10:57.000 Dude, I've got a funny story, dude.
02:11:00.000 One of my best friends was dating this chick.
02:11:05.000 This is in the late 90s.
02:11:06.000 He was totally in love with her.
02:11:10.000 They had several apartments, but he was in New York and he was walking to his job and he had to take a shit.
02:11:18.000 So he had a key to his girlfriend's apartment.
02:11:21.000 He pops into her apartment and he's sitting on the toilet taking a shit and the answering machine goes off.
02:11:29.000 Back then, the phone would ring, the answering machine would come up and you could hear the person leaving the message.
02:11:34.000 And it was Sean Penn calling his girlfriend being like, I had so much fun fucking you this weekend.
02:11:40.000 Oh my god.
02:11:42.000 He finds out about it while he's taking a shit.
02:11:47.000 Oh my god.
02:11:48.000 Yeah, dude.
02:11:51.000 Oh, my God.
02:11:53.000 Oh, fuck.
02:11:54.000 I had so much fun fucking you this weekend.
02:11:57.000 Not Sean Connery.
02:11:59.000 Not Sean Connery.
02:12:03.000 That would be great if it was Sean Connery.
02:12:07.000 Sean Penn.
02:12:10.000 Hilarious.
02:12:11.000 Dude, imagine if you got that phone call like Zelensky called your girlfriend.
02:12:15.000 That was a tough wipe for that guy.
02:12:17.000 Could you imagine?
02:12:19.000 Did Sean Penn's meeting with El Chapo Health Authorities track down the Kingpin?
02:12:22.000 That is what happened, right?
02:12:24.000 Yeah, Sean Penn says no, but there might be documents that say otherwise.
02:12:28.000 But wasn't it something about tracking his cell phone?
02:12:30.000 He was arrested days later.
02:12:35.000 I was trying to read through it to find the proof, but I didn't really find actual proof.
02:12:39.000 I don't know that the actual proof, they're not going to say, like, yep, 100%, this is exactly what we did.
02:12:43.000 I think the more intelligent and crafty of the drug cartel leaders, they don't tell you who they are anymore.
02:12:50.000 I think, you know, I think like the guys on the ground know, but I don't think there's any El Chapo's out there.
02:12:56.000 It's like when Gotti was the mafia king.
02:12:58.000 Yeah, it's a bad track record to be a celebrity criminal.
02:13:04.000 Seems like a horrible idea.
02:13:06.000 The greatest mobsters are the ones they never do the movies about.
02:13:08.000 Yeah.
02:13:09.000 Or they're clever, like Vincent the Ching Gigante, who would wear a bathrobe and walk around like he was a crazy person.
02:13:16.000 And then the FBI installed wires on every hubcap of every car down his route.
02:13:22.000 So they parked their own cars there so they could catch this guy talking.
02:13:26.000 So he would talk like pretend he's crazy.
02:13:28.000 He would say, listen, this motherfucker, we're going to kill him unless he gives us 50%.
02:13:32.000 And so he was going over his fucking telling his captains what to do.
02:13:39.000 So the cover was that he was insane.
02:13:41.000 The cover was that he was nuts.
02:13:43.000 So he would wear a bathrobe and act like a crazy person.
02:13:46.000 Yeah.
02:13:47.000 That's a good cover.
02:13:48.000 I think it can get you out of a lot of shit.
02:13:50.000 That's what Biden's doing.
02:13:51.000 Pleading insanity, too, to get you out of a lot of shit.
02:13:55.000 Yeah, sure.
02:13:56.000 Blaming Zoloft and cocaine.
02:13:58.000 Have you heard the craziest one?
02:14:00.000 What?
02:14:00.000 This chick was on a date with this guy.
02:14:03.000 She'd bedated him a little bit.
02:14:05.000 They smoked weed, and she stabbed him 108 times.
02:14:09.000 And she got off.
02:14:13.000 She's got probation, right?
02:14:15.000 Something crazy.
02:14:16.000 And the idea is that the marijuana caused her to be so psychotic that she stabbed this guy a hundred times.
02:14:24.000 Jesus, what?
02:14:25.000 Yeah.
02:14:26.000 Imagine.
02:14:27.000 Imagine.
02:14:28.000 Okay.
02:14:30.000 Jurors found 30...
02:14:32.000 Brin Specter?
02:14:34.000 Okay.
02:14:35.000 The police tried to stop her.
02:14:37.000 She will not serve any prison time, the judges ruled.
02:14:41.000 32-year-old from Ventura County guilty in December of involuntary manslaughter after you stabbed her boyfriend.
02:14:47.000 How's that involuntary?
02:14:49.000 When you stab someone 108 times while high on cannabis?
02:14:52.000 Involuntary.
02:14:54.000 Both took several hits from a bong loaded with marijuana.
02:14:58.000 She had an adverse reaction to the marijuana and suffered from what experts call cannabis induced psychotic disorder.
02:15:06.000 Boy, you don't want to fucking set that precedent.
02:15:09.000 Set that precedent of...
02:15:11.000 I mean, that just means everyone should carry an emergency joint in their pocket.
02:15:14.000 If they ever get in trouble, just fucking...
02:15:16.000 She also stabbed her dog and turned the knife on herself.
02:15:20.000 Light it up.
02:15:21.000 Accidentally stabbed my friend 108 times.
02:15:24.000 Good thing I had this emergency joint.
02:15:28.000 Alibi joint.
02:15:30.000 She stabbed her dog and she stabbed herself, too.
02:15:33.000 She stabbed herself in the neck.
02:15:34.000 It happened in 2018. Did it?
02:15:37.000 I thought the story just went around, but it happened over six years ago.
02:15:42.000 Interesting.
02:15:44.000 What the fuck, dude?
02:15:48.000 I mean, that seems a little odd.
02:15:50.000 The alibi joint.
02:15:54.000 What state was that in?
02:15:55.000 California.
02:15:56.000 California.
02:15:57.000 Thousand Oaks.
02:15:58.000 California's...
02:15:58.000 California's amazing.
02:16:01.000 That's a lost state.
02:16:02.000 And they just keep going down that hole.
02:16:05.000 My friend just got back from San Francisco and he's like, it was insane.
02:16:09.000 He's like, you can't believe it's real.
02:16:12.000 100 hours!
02:16:13.000 Not even 108. 100 hours.
02:16:16.000 Oh, Jamie, what a singer!
02:16:18.000 Jamie with the zinger.
02:16:19.000 That's a Tony Hinchcliffe line.
02:16:20.000 That sounds like something Tony would say.
02:16:22.000 That's hilarious.
02:16:24.000 Man, we love that Kill Tony stuff.
02:16:25.000 It's amazing.
02:16:26.000 That he's been doing over there.
02:16:27.000 The show's amazing.
02:16:28.000 He does arena shows now.
02:16:29.000 Yeah, I know.
02:16:30.000 It's incredible.
02:16:31.000 It's so fun.
02:16:32.000 It's such a fun...
02:16:33.000 And it's the anchor of comedy in Austin.
02:16:36.000 It's the anchor of comedy, really, in the country.
02:16:38.000 Because it gives people that are legitimately just starting out...
02:16:42.000 You can become famous on that show.
02:16:45.000 These guys are all, like, touring now.
02:16:48.000 Like, William Montgomery is fucking killing it.
02:16:50.000 Killing it on the road.
02:16:52.000 David Lucas is killing it on the road.
02:16:54.000 These guys are killing it.
02:16:55.000 Casey Rockets.
02:16:55.000 Casey Rockets.
02:16:56.000 He works at our club.
02:16:57.000 Really cool.
02:16:58.000 He's awesome.
02:16:59.000 These young guys, they're fucking good, man.
02:17:03.000 And you have one minute on that show.
02:17:06.000 So there's no room for bullshit and virtue signaling and, you know, this is my stance on...
02:17:11.000 Shut the fuck up.
02:17:12.000 Funny.
02:17:13.000 Let's go.
02:17:14.000 So it's like it sets this tone.
02:17:16.000 It doesn't matter what your perspective is.
02:17:18.000 Just make it good.
02:17:19.000 Make it funny.
02:17:19.000 You got a minute.
02:17:20.000 And then you're going to get judged and roasted by comedians.
02:17:24.000 And they're going to roast each other.
02:17:25.000 And it's just, it's a free, like, you could say anything.
02:17:29.000 It's fun.
02:17:30.000 And everybody wants you to.
02:17:31.000 They want you to say anything.
02:17:32.000 Yeah, it doesn't seem like they're trying to hurt anybody's feelings.
02:17:36.000 No, it's just fun.
02:17:37.000 It's fun.
02:17:38.000 They're doing it to each other and laughing hard.
02:17:41.000 Like when David Lucas and Tony Hinchcliffe roast each other, it's some of the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life.
02:17:47.000 Sometimes I can't breathe because I'm sitting right next to them while they're going after each other, and they're both so quick.
02:17:53.000 They're so good at it.
02:17:55.000 Did you catch Poirier's Kill Tony shout-out?
02:17:59.000 What did you say?
02:17:59.000 When you interviewed him, you asked him about the guillotine.
02:18:01.000 He's like, I'm never going to stop doing them.
02:18:03.000 That's not Willie Montgomery.
02:18:05.000 No, that's him.
02:18:06.000 No, that's him saying, I'm never going to stop going for it.
02:18:09.000 It's kind of the way he said it, though.
02:18:10.000 That's interesting.
02:18:11.000 I don't think that's...
02:18:13.000 I think he was just saying, I'm never going to stop.
02:18:14.000 It seemed very on the nose.
02:18:16.000 Because that's his shit.
02:18:16.000 Yeah.
02:18:17.000 That's his go-to submission is the guillotine.
02:18:19.000 I'll have to ask him if I've ever seen him.
02:18:21.000 Because he almost got Khabib in that.
02:18:23.000 He said, I'm never going to stop him.
02:18:24.000 Yeah, I think we're going to go do the William Montgomery podcast.
02:18:28.000 Fuck yeah!
02:18:29.000 You should do it.
02:18:30.000 He's a fucking national treasure.
02:18:31.000 He's a weird dude.
02:18:32.000 We're going to get on their coattails early and ride them in.
02:18:36.000 Yeah.
02:18:36.000 I want you to be real cognizant when he hugs you.
02:18:38.000 When he hugs you, he fucking firmly hugs you.
02:18:41.000 He hugs you in an odd way, like he's thinking of murdering you.
02:18:46.000 He's amazing.
02:18:48.000 He's so funny, dude.
02:18:49.000 He does remind me of friends I have from Memphis, too.
02:18:52.000 Memphis people talk in a particular way.
02:18:54.000 It's funny.
02:18:55.000 Well, have you ever seen when his father and his mother come on the show?
02:18:58.000 I haven't seen that.
02:18:59.000 His father and his mother came to see him when they did the theater in town, the HEB Center, and he was dressed...
02:19:06.000 What was he wearing?
02:19:07.000 He was wearing like a leather strap across his chest, leather codpiece.
02:19:12.000 Like, bare legs, bare arms, bare chest.
02:19:15.000 Like, he was dressed in some fucking S&M shit.
02:19:18.000 And then he did stand-up.
02:19:21.000 And it was amazing.
02:19:22.000 It was amazing.
02:19:23.000 It was amazing.
02:19:24.000 But Kill Tony is...
02:19:27.000 It gives comics an opportunity to get in front of the fucking biggest live show that exists on YouTube.
02:19:34.000 And it sets a great tone.
02:19:37.000 It's a fun thing.
02:19:39.000 It gives people an understanding, too.
02:19:41.000 They'll give you good tips, too.
02:19:43.000 Like, you know, try to concentrate on this.
02:19:46.000 Did you ever try this on your friends?
02:19:49.000 How do you develop this stuff?
02:19:53.000 How long have you been doing it?
02:19:54.000 Where did you start?
02:19:55.000 It's real fast, too.
02:19:56.000 Between sections, very accessible.
02:19:59.000 And it's live.
02:20:01.000 People love that kind of shit, where it's all improvised, it's happening in the moment, it's really happening live.
02:20:09.000 Well, we're hoping to go to your club while we're here.
02:20:11.000 Well, you're going, man.
02:20:12.000 You're going tonight.
02:20:12.000 Let's go.
02:20:13.000 I want you guys to see Shane.
02:20:14.000 Shane Gillis is one of the funniest human beings that's ever lived.
02:20:17.000 Is he there tonight?
02:20:18.000 Yeah, he's there tonight.
02:20:19.000 Oh, amazing.
02:20:20.000 We love Shane.
02:20:21.000 I'm making sure he's coming.
02:20:22.000 Beautiful dogs.
02:20:23.000 Yeah.
02:20:23.000 He's so funny.
02:20:24.000 We're big fans of him.
02:20:26.000 He's awesome.
02:20:26.000 He's such a good dude, too.
02:20:28.000 He's the shit.
02:20:29.000 He's everything you'd hope he'd be.
02:20:31.000 He's like that 24-7.
02:20:33.000 That's cool.
02:20:34.000 How he is on podcasts, that's how he is.
02:20:36.000 He's so funny.
02:20:37.000 He's awesome.
02:20:37.000 He lives here now.
02:20:39.000 Yeah.
02:20:41.000 It feels like it's an exciting time for comedy, in a way.
02:20:45.000 It is.
02:20:46.000 It is.
02:20:47.000 You're kind of leading the charge there, too.
02:20:49.000 Well, we've got a great group that are here now, and everybody really appreciates it.
02:20:54.000 They really appreciate that we're all together in this, and that's what's fun about it.
02:20:57.000 It's a real community.
02:21:00.000 We've always been fangirl out over comedians more than musicians.
02:21:06.000 Well, that's the opposite for me, too.
02:21:08.000 I fangirl out on musicians.
02:21:10.000 I don't know how to do anything.
02:21:13.000 So when I see you guys, to me, it's magic.
02:21:17.000 You guys are making magic.
02:21:18.000 You're making magic that is like a drug.
02:21:21.000 If I'm alone and I'm driving to go to a comedy club and I throw Sinister Kid on, I get fucking fired up.
02:21:28.000 That's a drug, man.
02:21:30.000 It's a drug.
02:21:31.000 It gives you a feeling.
02:21:32.000 It's just like a drug.
02:21:33.000 You hear a good fucking song, oh, fuck yeah!
02:21:36.000 And you're driving, you know?
02:21:38.000 It's like you're experiencing the art physically.
02:21:43.000 It's not just like, that painting's beautiful.
02:21:45.000 You know, a good fucking song when you're on a treadmill, you're like, woo!
02:21:50.000 Let's fucking go!
02:21:51.000 You'll crank that speed up.
02:21:53.000 You feel different.
02:21:55.000 You guys make magic.
02:21:58.000 We just sit around and send each other like Norm Macdonald clips.
02:22:04.000 There's one where he was talking about gay porn.
02:22:09.000 Have you seen that?
02:22:11.000 What did he say?
02:22:12.000 He just was like, you know, there's these porn.
02:22:14.000 I like, porn's my favorite movie, but there's this one type of porn I just can't get into.
02:22:20.000 Gay porn.
02:22:22.000 It's just every one.
02:22:23.000 There's not a single good one.
02:22:27.000 It's just, men, fucking other men.
02:22:30.000 It's so funny.
02:22:32.000 It's like a minute long, but it's just like, I've watched it like 50 times.
02:22:35.000 He was doing this thing about guys, fucking guys in the ass.
02:22:40.000 He's like, I'm sorry, I'll clean up my language.
02:22:43.000 I'm sorry for my language.
02:22:44.000 He goes, here's something you never hear anybody say.
02:22:46.000 He made love to me in my ass.
02:22:49.000 I've seen that.
02:22:51.000 I don't know.
02:22:55.000 Oh, what a fucking G that guy was.
02:22:58.000 He didn't even tell anybody he had cancer.
02:23:00.000 He was dying.
02:23:01.000 I'm going to go visit someone in Canada.
02:23:04.000 Incredible move.
02:23:05.000 Wow.
02:23:06.000 Yeah.
02:23:06.000 He said, I'm going to go out on my own terms.
02:23:09.000 He's amazing.
02:23:10.000 I was randomly on flights sitting next to him twice.
02:23:14.000 Really?
02:23:14.000 Just random.
02:23:15.000 Unbelievable.
02:23:15.000 I knew him.
02:23:16.000 I knew him from the clubs, so it was awesome.
02:23:18.000 But it's just complete random that we got sat next to each other twice.
02:23:22.000 So two flights, I got a full, like, Norm MacDonald experience.
02:23:26.000 We're just laughing and talking and laughing.
02:23:29.000 He was amazing.
02:23:30.000 One time, one flight, he was telling me, yeah, I quit cigarettes.
02:23:35.000 Fucking cigarettes are terrible.
02:23:37.000 And he's telling me how great he feels now that he quit cigarettes, the whole deal.
02:23:40.000 The moment we land, he runs right to the gift shop, buys cigarettes, and was lighting it before he got out the door.
02:23:47.000 He goes, all that talk about cigarettes, I fucking wanted one.
02:23:54.000 Amazing.
02:23:55.000 Amazing.
02:23:55.000 He was amazing.
02:23:58.000 Just total dumb luck.
02:23:59.000 Sat next to him twice.
02:24:03.000 I've never sat next to a famous person on a plane.
02:24:06.000 Thanks, dude.
02:24:09.000 Wait, I didn't know who he was.
02:24:10.000 He had an alias.
02:24:15.000 Actually, Susan Sarandon was on our plane here, but I didn't.
02:24:18.000 I was a seat away.
02:24:21.000 It doesn't count.
02:24:22.000 It doesn't count.
02:24:23.000 Dude, a friend of mine has the craziest story.
02:24:27.000 He was on a Southwest flight that was like from L.A. to Nashville, but it stopped in Phoenix at first, and they picked up.
02:24:38.000 This woman got on the plane, and My friend was on the aisle and this chick was in the middle and this guy was on the window and the guy just starts like hitting on this chick and they start kind of like on a flight from you know over like a red eye back to Nashville like the guy and a girl just hitting on each other and then like she like you know starts like fooling around with him and gets asked for a blanket and like blows him on the plane laughing And
02:25:09.000 my friend's just like, what the fuck is going on?
02:25:12.000 This is incredible.
02:25:13.000 And then like, Afterwards, he's like, so what do you do?
02:25:18.000 She's like, I'm an actress.
02:25:20.000 I'm like, oh yeah, what kind of movie?
02:25:21.000 She's like, you know, adult movies.
02:25:26.000 He gets her name and she had just broken the AIDS protocol.
02:25:31.000 That's like being kicked out of the porn industry.
02:25:36.000 And the guy just got blown by her on a plane.
02:25:39.000 She just broke the AIDS protocol?
02:25:41.000 That's the story.
02:25:44.000 I mean, this was years ago.
02:25:45.000 Who's that woman that was married to Antonio Banderas, the famous actress?
02:25:49.000 Melanie Griffith.
02:25:50.000 Melanie Griffith.
02:25:51.000 I was on a plane to England once with her, and it was an overnight flight.
02:25:57.000 And, you know, so she's lying there, sleeping.
02:26:01.000 So her, you know, seat's reclined.
02:26:03.000 She's lying there sleeping, and there's this very fat guy who's in the chair right across the aisle.
02:26:11.000 So the way it lines up, her face, Is right where his ass is.
02:26:16.000 And this guy starts farting.
02:26:18.000 I mean, he started farting too.
02:26:20.000 I was awake.
02:26:21.000 I was on my computer.
02:26:21.000 I was awake.
02:26:22.000 I was like, what the fuck?
02:26:24.000 This guy is farting in the face of a famous actress.
02:26:28.000 And I was like, imagine if this was this guy's plot all along.
02:26:31.000 This is what I want.
02:26:32.000 This is what I want.
02:26:32.000 He's like, he's got a fart fetish.
02:26:34.000 He's like, you're telling me she's going to be on this flight.
02:26:37.000 I want my seat to line up where my ass is going to be in her face.
02:26:42.000 Like, if that's what he was into, you couldn't have lined it up any better.
02:26:45.000 Dude, she probably is so resilient to the grossest fart.
02:26:49.000 What if that was your fucking fetish, dude?
02:26:49.000 She grew up, like, in a house surrounded by, like, a hundred lions.
02:26:52.000 Yes!
02:26:53.000 Tigers.
02:26:53.000 Yes!
02:26:54.000 I'm friends with her daughter.
02:26:56.000 Yeah, there's that footage of her getting dragged into the pool by the lion.
02:26:59.000 Bro, that footage is bananas.
02:27:02.000 And that movie that they made, that, what is it called?
02:27:05.000 Rage?
02:27:06.000 Roar, roar.
02:27:07.000 They made a movie with all these fucking cats.
02:27:11.000 I'm friends with Dakota Johnson, her daughter, and I've known her for, I guess, you know, before she was famous, you know what I mean?
02:27:19.000 And she was telling me, she told me, like, that her mom grew up with all these cats, and I didn't, I mean, I did not believe her, but I had no idea until I started seeing this shit a while ago.
02:27:32.000 She's lying in bed with a lion.
02:27:33.000 I mean, a lion fart.
02:27:34.000 An actual lion.
02:27:35.000 Yeah, imagine what those things smell like.
02:27:37.000 Yeah, same.
02:27:38.000 She probably, she probably, maybe enjoyed the guy's It's probably a relief.
02:27:45.000 Flashbacks to her time on the farm.
02:27:47.000 She's like, yeah.
02:27:49.000 So that was another time that I flew with a famous person.
02:27:53.000 Yeah.
02:27:54.000 Fuck.
02:27:55.000 You know, I got sat next to Billy Gibbons one time.
02:27:57.000 Oh, wow.
02:27:58.000 That's fucking awesome.
02:27:59.000 That's fucking awesome.
02:28:01.000 Yeah.
02:28:02.000 Showed me pictures of cars and shit the whole time.
02:28:05.000 It was fucking amazing.
02:28:06.000 I got sat next to Ed O'Neill once.
02:28:09.000 That was pretty awesome.
02:28:11.000 Ed O'Neil from Married with Children.
02:28:12.000 Bundy.
02:28:13.000 He's a legitimate Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt.
02:28:17.000 Really?
02:28:17.000 Yep.
02:28:18.000 He's a real black belt.
02:28:19.000 Yeah, like legit.
02:28:21.000 Everybody I know that's rolled with him is legit.
02:28:24.000 And, you know, we talked Jiu-Jitsu for like two hours.
02:28:29.000 That's cool.
02:28:29.000 It was amazing.
02:28:31.000 Is that what Zuckerberg's into?
02:28:33.000 Yeah, he's into MMA. He does Jiu-Jitsu too, though.
02:28:35.000 Jiu-Jitsu's a part of MMA. Have you seen his...
02:28:38.000 Has he got the goods?
02:28:40.000 He definitely is training.
02:28:41.000 He definitely knows what he's doing.
02:28:42.000 And he's training with really good people.
02:28:44.000 Like, he was out here training with, like, top-flight jiu-jitsu people.
02:28:47.000 You know, he's got access to all these people that are interested in training with him.
02:28:51.000 He trains with UFC people.
02:28:53.000 He loves it.
02:28:54.000 He actually blew his ACL out doing it.
02:28:56.000 And the board's worried about him, like, that it could negatively affect the company.
02:29:01.000 Him engaging in this very dangerous, violent activity.
02:29:05.000 He competed in jiu-jitsu tournaments.
02:29:07.000 Here you see him.
02:29:08.000 He's won.
02:29:10.000 He's good.
02:29:11.000 Like, he's a very smart dude.
02:29:13.000 He's very competitive.
02:29:14.000 And he trains with really good guys.
02:29:17.000 Israel Adesanya and Alex Volkanovski.
02:29:20.000 Yeah, he's into it, man.
02:29:22.000 Like, he's legitimately putting in the work.
02:29:25.000 It's exciting.
02:29:26.000 It's fun.
02:29:27.000 His bangs always bother me.
02:29:30.000 His bangs?
02:29:31.000 Yeah, like the way his hair sits.
02:29:33.000 It's like crazy girl style.
02:29:35.000 Crazy girl style.
02:29:36.000 Let me see it again.
02:29:37.000 Let me see what you're talking about.
02:29:40.000 It needs to go up.
02:29:42.000 That's an odd look.
02:29:44.000 Maybe it's like, I'm a billionaire.
02:29:46.000 I don't want to look too good.
02:29:48.000 I don't know what it is.
02:29:48.000 Make me look a little Caesar-ish.
02:29:52.000 You know the movies where the hot girl takes her glasses off?
02:29:56.000 Right.
02:29:57.000 I think he needs to get glasses put on him.
02:30:02.000 That's what happened to me.
02:30:04.000 You can't even look at my face, but put the glasses on.
02:30:07.000 It's the opposite for guys.
02:30:09.000 It's a good move.
02:30:10.000 If you're ugly, you put the fucking shit.
02:30:11.000 Put glasses on.
02:30:12.000 Right, and it makes you at least look smart.
02:30:13.000 There he goes.
02:30:14.000 There he goes.
02:30:15.000 Now he's looking good.
02:30:16.000 I think you're right.
02:30:18.000 Yeah.
02:30:18.000 I really think you're right.
02:30:20.000 Wait a minute.
02:30:21.000 Not those glasses.
02:30:22.000 Not those glasses.
02:30:23.000 The meta glasses.
02:30:23.000 Not the little clear.
02:30:25.000 Those are the ones that you could use to spy on people.
02:30:26.000 There you go.
02:30:27.000 That's a fucking weird new thing that you have to be aware of.
02:30:30.000 People wearing sunglasses that can film you.
02:30:32.000 Stop just went up.
02:30:34.000 Yeah.
02:30:36.000 It's a big one for perverts, I'm sure.
02:30:38.000 Oh, yeah.
02:30:39.000 You know?
02:30:40.000 Pat played with them on stage.
02:30:43.000 They sent me a pair.
02:30:44.000 And I was trying to, like...
02:30:45.000 But it's just, like, if you watch the footage, it just, like, makes you want to puke.
02:30:48.000 It's insane.
02:30:50.000 Shaking all over the place.
02:30:51.000 It has a mic on it, too.
02:30:53.000 It has a mic.
02:30:54.000 Sounds like shit.
02:30:55.000 You hear him grunting the whole time.
02:31:02.000 Yeah, that's something people don't really pick up unless you got the mic right here.
02:31:06.000 He didn't tell me about it either.
02:31:08.000 He just put the glasses on side of stage for the encore.
02:31:11.000 That's hilarious.
02:31:12.000 I mean, the conversations were ongoing in your presence.
02:31:15.000 I looked at him, I was like, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
02:31:19.000 Am I on camera right now?
02:31:21.000 He knew about it.
02:31:22.000 I mean, possibly he didn't, but...
02:31:28.000 That's also like, you know, there's a lot of times when Dan will be like, no one fucking told me this.
02:31:34.000 It's been in the calendar for like two months.
02:31:38.000 It's weird because there's not going to be a time, there's going to be a time rather in the future where you're not going to be able to stop people from recording things.
02:31:44.000 They're just going to be able to record everything.
02:31:46.000 No matter what.
02:31:47.000 I mean, um...
02:31:49.000 They don't already do that.
02:31:51.000 They're going to be able to do it into contact lenses.
02:31:55.000 They're going to be able to figure out a way where it's not even a glass, it's just a contact lens.
02:31:59.000 If things keep going the way they're going this way, like they keep getting smaller and smaller and more effective, they'll probably figure out a way to make it a contact lens.
02:32:10.000 Yeah, it's like people who film concert videos.
02:32:14.000 Do people go back and look at all that shit they're filming?
02:32:18.000 No.
02:32:19.000 It's like fireworks.
02:32:20.000 I don't think anybody's ever watched a wedding video.
02:32:22.000 That people watch.
02:32:23.000 Who?
02:32:24.000 I've had people force me to watch their wedding video.
02:32:26.000 What?
02:32:30.000 What the fuck?
02:32:31.000 Yeah, sit down.
02:32:32.000 Watch my wedding band.
02:32:33.000 I've never seen a wedding video.
02:32:34.000 Oh my god.
02:32:35.000 You know what those are?
02:32:36.000 They're made so that in case someone gets murdered, they can use it in forensic files.
02:32:41.000 Look how he's looking at the bride.
02:32:43.000 Look how happy he was, seemingly.
02:32:45.000 Right.
02:32:45.000 Seemingly.
02:32:46.000 Right.
02:32:47.000 That's all they're used for.
02:32:49.000 Well, the worst is fireworks, right?
02:32:52.000 Who watches fireworks videos?
02:32:54.000 But everybody films fireworks.
02:32:55.000 It's like you feel like you can't live unless you're capturing things constantly.
02:32:59.000 The same people that watch fireworks videos also watch lots of videos of trains.
02:33:05.000 Or fire trucks.
02:33:07.000 Just driving by?
02:33:09.000 Yeah.
02:33:13.000 Watch videos of people dining inside of trains.
02:33:16.000 The fact that people still go on trains.
02:33:20.000 Trains are a wild way to move around.
02:33:23.000 In Europe, it's amazing.
02:33:24.000 Yeah, but it's...
02:33:25.000 In America, there's always the threat that someone could lay some shit down on the tracks.
02:33:32.000 Like, people do every now and again.
02:33:34.000 There's some person who decides to sabotage the tracks.
02:33:37.000 And there's not a fucking chance in hell that you can go over all that track and make sure no one's done that.
02:33:43.000 You're going 400 miles an hour or whatever it's going on.
02:33:45.000 It's flying across the country.
02:33:47.000 You could with AI. I guess.
02:33:51.000 Well...
02:33:52.000 That's how they're gonna get us.
02:33:54.000 Yeah, I mean, you see those...
02:33:57.000 You know, photos of train traveling up until, like, the early 60s.
02:34:02.000 It kind of looks amazing.
02:34:04.000 Well, it is a great way to see the country.
02:34:07.000 The view is incredible.
02:34:08.000 You're in this thing.
02:34:09.000 Imagine back in the old days when they would just open up the window and shoot buffaloes.
02:34:14.000 Yeah, but it's like you also had, like, now it's like I think they only serve, like, hot dogs.
02:34:21.000 You know what I mean?
02:34:22.000 Probably, right?
02:34:23.000 I think so.
02:34:24.000 If you're traveling across the country back in the old days when they first did it, it must have been amazing.
02:34:30.000 Imagine if Melanie Griffith was in a sleeper car with that guy on that diet.
02:34:38.000 He's been eating hot fries and hot dogs for four days.
02:34:43.000 He hasn't had a shower in four days.
02:34:46.000 And his ass is in Melanie Griffin's face.
02:34:50.000 Just open it up.
02:34:51.000 How fast do those trains go?
02:34:52.000 Like those old-timey trains?
02:34:54.000 When they first started crossing the country?
02:34:56.000 I bet they didn't go over 60. They really would just open up the window and shoot buffaloes.
02:35:03.000 Fucking insane.
02:35:05.000 What a crazy time.
02:35:07.000 Like, no one had ever had a train before.
02:35:09.000 Now all of a sudden there's this thing that you can hop on and make your way across the country.
02:35:14.000 Yeah, and the presidents would ride them and just give some shitty speech off the back.
02:35:18.000 The whole town would come.
02:35:20.000 Is that what they did?
02:35:21.000 The presidents would just get out and talk to people off the back?
02:35:23.000 They wouldn't even get out.
02:35:24.000 They would just stand on the back.
02:35:25.000 Stand on the back.
02:35:25.000 Wow.
02:35:26.000 40 to 65 miles an hour.
02:35:27.000 Wow.
02:35:29.000 You fucking had that right on the money, bud.
02:35:31.000 Wow.
02:35:33.000 Huh.
02:35:35.000 Don't say.
02:35:37.000 What about the really old-timey ones?
02:35:40.000 What was the first ones that they put across the country?
02:35:42.000 The Transcontinental Railway?
02:35:44.000 Was that 1866?
02:35:46.000 It was right after the Civil War.
02:35:48.000 How fast were trains in 1890?
02:35:50.000 They could approach 80 miles an hour.
02:35:52.000 That's probably how much stuff it's pulling slows it down, you know, so...
02:35:55.000 Right, like how many cars they have.
02:35:56.000 Just the locomotive, I guess.
02:35:58.000 Oh, I see, I see.
02:35:59.000 The locomotives.
02:36:00.000 That makes sense.
02:36:00.000 There's a very intense engineering, because they can only go up, like, steepest is like a 5% grade.
02:36:07.000 Oh, really?
02:36:09.000 Something like that.
02:36:10.000 That's why my brother works for Amtrak.
02:36:13.000 But yeah, there's a lot of crazy shit about trains.
02:36:16.000 So what do they do when they get to a hill?
02:36:17.000 They just have to level it?
02:36:18.000 They have to go through a tunnel.
02:36:20.000 Oh.
02:36:21.000 Or whatever, you know.
02:36:22.000 Right.
02:36:22.000 That makes sense.
02:36:23.000 Yeah.
02:36:24.000 Wow.
02:36:26.000 So they have to tunnel everything.
02:36:28.000 Yeah.
02:36:28.000 For these fucking trains.
02:36:29.000 Yeah, and a lot of those railways out early on, you know, were built by Chinese.
02:36:34.000 Oh, yeah.
02:36:35.000 Yeah.
02:36:35.000 It's like you go out west.
02:36:37.000 The first time we went out west on tour, we go to these small towns in the middle of nowhere, you know, and there would be like an old Chinese restaurant, and there's like, the signs said like, chop suey.
02:36:50.000 And then you go, you have the worst Chinese food you've ever had in your whole life.
02:36:56.000 It tastes like something that they scraped off the teeth of a brontosaurus.
02:37:02.000 Just like ground up cabbage and shit.
02:37:07.000 Yeah, back in those days when they were doing that, that's when they developed those opium dens too.
02:37:12.000 Opium dens was like a big thing that was brought over by the Chinese.
02:37:16.000 That's like around the time that Portland, Oregon was known for people getting shanghaied where they would get drugged and then they'd open a trap door in the bar and they'd fall down and then they would get put on a ship to China.
02:37:32.000 What?
02:37:32.000 And wake up in the middle of the ocean and just have to work.
02:37:37.000 What?
02:37:38.000 That's what, yeah.
02:37:39.000 Getting shanghaied is from that.
02:37:42.000 Holy shit.
02:37:44.000 Yeah.
02:37:45.000 Can you imagine?
02:37:47.000 Imagine the lawsuit now.
02:37:51.000 Dude.
02:37:51.000 Actually, that's probably happening still in other countries.
02:37:54.000 Someone to kidnap or trick them into working for you.
02:37:57.000 Traditional way to Shanghai, someone is to drug them and put them on a ship.
02:38:00.000 The person wakes up, you better get to work.
02:38:02.000 This term popped up in the 19th century.
02:38:04.000 Fuck, man.
02:38:05.000 Can you imagine living back in the day where you had to worry that someone was going to kidnap you and force you into slave labor?
02:38:11.000 Well, that was like, well, the 80s, we were worried about, I was very worried about getting kidnapped when I was a kid.
02:38:17.000 Because it was like everywhere, all over the fucking news.
02:38:20.000 And the milk cartons.
02:38:21.000 Yeah, there's like famous kids, you know, kids finding bodies and shit.
02:38:25.000 Yeah.
02:38:26.000 When I was walking to school once, you know, somebody, it was really snowy, and I always walked with my buddy, but I was on my way to his house, and this car pulled up.
02:38:37.000 I was like, I'll get, you know, this person's totally bundled up, like, so suspicious.
02:38:42.000 Like, I'll give you a ride.
02:38:44.000 Get in the car.
02:38:44.000 And I was like, what the fuck?
02:38:47.000 They're real.
02:38:48.000 I just ran to my buddy's house.
02:38:49.000 I was like, dude.
02:38:52.000 Maybe it was just some old lady.
02:38:54.000 I couldn't tell, but it's terrifying.
02:38:56.000 When I was a kid, I was in a library, and I was looking at these monster books.
02:39:00.000 And this guy stood next to me.
02:39:03.000 He said, you like monster books?
02:39:05.000 I said, yeah.
02:39:06.000 And he goes, I've got some out in my car.
02:39:07.000 You want to see them?
02:39:08.000 I'm like, okay.
02:39:09.000 I was like eight.
02:39:10.000 You know, I was a latchkey kid.
02:39:12.000 And so, I start walking out the door with this guy, and the lady who's a librarian starts screaming, Joseph, get away from that man!
02:39:20.000 He just got out of jail!
02:39:22.000 And the guy just runs.
02:39:23.000 The guy runs.
02:39:24.000 And I'm standing there just crying.
02:39:28.000 They got me, got my mom, and I went home, but I was like, what the fuck?
02:39:33.000 He could've got me.
02:39:35.000 Oh my god.
02:39:37.000 That was so naive.
02:39:38.000 I was eight.
02:39:40.000 I just thought the guy also liked monster books.
02:39:42.000 What a sick fuck.
02:39:43.000 Dude, we used to play in the woods.
02:39:45.000 We used to walk down through the woods, cross the river, over by the jail.
02:39:51.000 Yeah.
02:39:52.000 Oh, boy.
02:39:53.000 Over by the jail.
02:39:55.000 You know what I mean?
02:39:56.000 The workhouse.
02:39:57.000 Yeah.
02:39:57.000 Anybody ever get out of that jail?
02:39:59.000 Yeah, somebody escaped once, and his nickname was, like, The Butcher.
02:40:05.000 But it was just like, at the time, or maybe it was something like that, but he just had his 10th DUI or something.
02:40:14.000 We knew quite a few people in Akron who have over three DUIs.
02:40:19.000 Do you remember that one guy who escaped jail with the help of a female officer that he was banging?
02:40:26.000 And then she was supposed to meet him.
02:40:28.000 Didn't they make a movie about that?
02:40:29.000 I don't know.
02:40:30.000 I think this was fairly recent, like within the last 10 years.
02:40:34.000 But this guy started banging one of the female corrections officers.
02:40:39.000 I vaguely remember that.
02:40:41.000 I think she helped him escape.
02:40:43.000 She met him and tried to meet up with him and they arrested her and arrested him.
02:40:48.000 She killed herself?
02:40:49.000 Yeah.
02:40:51.000 What was the story?
02:40:53.000 Oh, there it is.
02:40:55.000 Detectives and others have found that Vicki White had allegedly fallen in love with the inmate, given him the special treatment at the jail.
02:41:01.000 She ultimately helped concoct the plot for Casey White to escape, which ended 11 days later with his capture, and she died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
02:41:10.000 Just like the guy who was the whistleblower for Boeing.
02:41:14.000 I'm confused.
02:41:15.000 He died from a self-reflection gunshot wound, too.
02:41:17.000 Crazy.
02:41:17.000 Why would she kill herself?
02:41:19.000 Because she already knows that she fell in love in prison.
02:41:24.000 Because she's going to go to prison with girls now.
02:41:25.000 Well, there's going to be a male...
02:41:27.000 Pretending to be a male security guard?
02:41:30.000 Hey, maybe fuck around and maybe, what's his name, Marcon's wife is in there.
02:41:36.000 What's the president of France's name?
02:41:41.000 It's probably women guards.
02:41:44.000 Marcon.
02:41:45.000 Marcon?
02:41:47.000 Marpony.
02:41:50.000 Why are those rumors so fun?
02:41:52.000 I don't know.
02:41:53.000 When the internet goes nutty about stuff, I think it's so hilarious.
02:41:58.000 I just love it when someone, like, says they're gonna, like, you know...
02:42:06.000 Risk their entire career on this piece of evidence.
02:42:10.000 It's not complete nonsense.
02:42:13.000 I have full faith that this is reality.
02:42:18.000 There's no reason for me to do it.
02:42:23.000 What's her name?
02:42:24.000 Candace Owens?
02:42:25.000 Yeah.
02:42:25.000 Well, then there's the other one, the Kate Middleton one, the photo that just got released recently that's been AI doctored.
02:42:31.000 And they say that that photo is a photo that they took from her on a magazine cover.
02:42:36.000 And that it's so specifically accurate that you could superimpose left and right and it looks exactly the same.
02:42:43.000 And that this photo, people aren't willing to publish it.
02:42:48.000 Kate Middleton and the end of shared reality.
02:42:51.000 Nothing is true and everything is possible.
02:42:53.000 So, whatever is going on with her, They photoshopped, CGI'd, whatever, a photo of her all smiling with her kids.
02:43:03.000 Like, see, everything's fine.
02:43:04.000 Because something is going on with her, is the theory.
02:43:06.000 That's the theory, yeah.
02:43:08.000 Yeah, that's a shit.
02:43:09.000 I've heard that.
02:43:10.000 Well, they think she's missing.
02:43:13.000 Or no one knows where she is.
02:43:15.000 Like, show us a picture of her.
02:43:18.000 Like, no one's seen her forever.
02:43:19.000 Is she okay?
02:43:20.000 Like, where is she?
02:43:22.000 Sort of like the president of Scientology's wife.
02:43:24.000 Like, where is she?
02:43:26.000 I hadn't heard that she was missing.
02:43:29.000 Yeah.
02:43:30.000 Even Photoshop can't erase Royals' latest PR blemish.
02:43:34.000 Mother's Day photos meant to dow speculation about the Princess of Wales' health and did the opposite and threatened to undermine trust in the royal family.
02:43:40.000 How weird that they still have trust in the royal family.
02:43:44.000 That's what's the weirdest thing about that article.
02:43:47.000 What percentage is there trusting now?
02:43:49.000 I could imagine a bunch of old people that don't know what's going on anymore.
02:43:54.000 But like, what?
02:43:55.000 Imagine.
02:43:56.000 The ancestors are the people that controlled your ancestors.
02:44:01.000 Those are the people you should trust?
02:44:03.000 Yeah.
02:44:05.000 I mean, it's kind of insane.
02:44:09.000 And they're just born into it?
02:44:10.000 What?
02:44:11.000 I love the British media, though.
02:44:12.000 It's always, they blow shit.
02:44:13.000 The rules over there are different, you know?
02:44:17.000 It would probably be real horrible to be a famous person living in England.
02:44:21.000 Oh, they'll go after you?
02:44:22.000 Yeah, they're fucking psycho.
02:44:24.000 Yeah, they go after you and they can get away with it.
02:44:26.000 Their laws are so different.
02:44:27.000 Dude, the first article we ever had written about us in England was in the NME. It's like a music magazine.
02:44:33.000 Actually, we did the interview at South by Southwest 21 years ago.
02:44:38.000 And the guy was like, So, you know, ask some boring questions.
02:44:42.000 And at the very end of the 10-minute interview, he was like, so do you guys ever do any drugs?
02:44:47.000 And, like, you know, smoke some weed occasionally.
02:44:52.000 And he's like, anything else?
02:44:53.000 And I was like, oh, I smoked opium once.
02:44:55.000 I was like a kid.
02:44:56.000 I didn't know.
02:44:57.000 And then the headline was like, opium-fueled blues.
02:45:05.000 Seriously.
02:45:07.000 That's amazing.
02:45:08.000 I was like, what the fuck?
02:45:09.000 I was like, my dad's gonna see this.
02:45:13.000 Dad, I don't smoke opium.
02:45:16.000 This kid had it once, though, in Akron.
02:45:19.000 Like I said, no one really had drugs, but this kid, Eric.
02:45:24.000 His name was Eric.
02:45:26.000 I think it fried his brain.
02:45:30.000 But he was the only kid I knew that had gone to prison.
02:45:34.000 Because he was selling acid.
02:45:37.000 And...
02:45:39.000 And he had been arrested for it and put on probation.
02:45:44.000 And then his probation officer would call him.
02:45:48.000 He worked at the car wash and check on him.
02:45:51.000 And the probation officer called him and said, I'm going to come see you today.
02:45:56.000 And he had like 150 hits of acid in his pocket.
02:45:59.000 And he never just took it out, even though he got the heads up.
02:46:04.000 And he was like, oh, he got caught with 150 hits of acid and went to prison for three years.
02:46:09.000 Oh my god.
02:46:10.000 Yeah, and the stories he would tell us were fucking horrible.
02:46:14.000 Exactly what you would imagine.
02:46:18.000 But he introduced us to his favorite prison recipe, which was called Making a Break.
02:46:25.000 And he'd get a bag of barbecue potato chips, dump in a can of chili, then dump in ramen noodles in the seasoning, and then get the faucet water as hot as you possibly can, and fill the can up with water,
02:46:41.000 and put it in the In a potato chip bag and then just smash it all up with your hands.
02:46:48.000 Jesus Christ.
02:46:49.000 Dude, it was so disgusting.
02:46:51.000 He would eat this shit out of prison.
02:46:55.000 Wow.
02:46:56.000 Dude, just make a break.
02:46:58.000 That's what he used to say.
02:47:02.000 There's guys like that that exist just to get you on the right path.
02:47:05.000 You know?
02:47:06.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:47:07.000 You meet him and you go, okay, whatever that guy's doing, I'm not doing that.
02:47:10.000 Yeah, that was a level in your video game.
02:47:12.000 Yeah.
02:47:13.000 Well, I think that's what happens with the guys who blow their brains out on acid, too.
02:47:17.000 Like, they're there to let you know, like, hey, this is possible.
02:47:20.000 This guy used to be in Pink Floyd.
02:47:21.000 Yeah.
02:47:22.000 You know?
02:47:22.000 Right.
02:47:22.000 This is possible.
02:47:24.000 Like, you know, be careful.
02:47:27.000 Don't just think you can take it.
02:47:30.000 Yeah.
02:47:31.000 Or used to be the singer of the Beach Boys.
02:47:34.000 Yeah.
02:47:35.000 Well, that's the other weird thing about Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys.
02:47:37.000 That he was being threatened by Manson.
02:47:40.000 Because he had worked with Manson.
02:47:42.000 He was supposed to produce his album.
02:47:45.000 I think along the way, he realized this guy was out of his fucking mind.
02:47:48.000 Well, he was hanging out with Dennis Wilson.
02:47:50.000 That's what it was.
02:47:51.000 Dennis Wilson, right?
02:47:51.000 I think they had recorded at this studio that we were at.
02:47:54.000 That's where they would work in.
02:47:56.000 Mm-hmm.
02:47:57.000 Um...
02:47:59.000 Charles Manson and the Beach Boys, Dennis Wilson, had a brief and bizarre friendship.
02:48:03.000 Yeah, that's what it was.
02:48:05.000 Summer of 1968, living together and dreaming about the musical possibilities that lay ahead.
02:48:10.000 Whoa, they live together!
02:48:12.000 Yeah, I think Manson wanted Brian Wilson to produce his stuff.
02:48:15.000 Ah, and then when he didn't want to, that's when it fell apart.
02:48:20.000 So he probably lured him in with parties and the girls.
02:48:25.000 That's probably what he would do.
02:48:26.000 He'd probably have the Manson girls and everyone's doing acid and they're probably like kissing him and kissing each other and he's like, this is amazing!
02:48:34.000 This guy's cool!
02:48:37.000 And this is pre-murders too, so no one really knows exactly what this guy's up to.
02:48:44.000 Do you think Epstein was giving people acid, too?
02:48:48.000 Maybe he's giving the girls acid.
02:48:51.000 Maybe he's giving the guys acid, too.
02:48:53.000 Who knows what's giving them?
02:48:54.000 I mean, if you're gonna have an island and you're gonna film people, why would you let them just be sober?
02:49:01.000 You know?
02:49:02.000 That seems like that would cut down on your footage.
02:49:06.000 You know?
02:49:07.000 Wouldn't you dose them up with something?
02:49:09.000 If I was the CIA? What's going on with that island now?
02:49:14.000 I tried to buy it.
02:49:15.000 No, I didn't.
02:49:16.000 I was thinking about it.
02:49:17.000 We were joking around having a podcast destination.
02:49:19.000 I was like, we'd have to level that place.
02:49:21.000 The microphones and cameras, probably shit we've never even thought of.
02:49:26.000 There's probably camera paint that's on the wall.
02:49:29.000 The wall's probably a giant LCD screen.
02:49:32.000 Who fucking knows?
02:49:33.000 What's up with that Egyptian-themed building?
02:49:37.000 It's wild.
02:49:38.000 The temple that is painted like the Israeli flag, the colors of the Israeli flag.
02:49:44.000 Yeah, it's weird.
02:49:45.000 That's where I was thinking, like we could put the podcast studio there.
02:49:47.000 I think that's a good idea.
02:49:49.000 Somebody bought it.
02:49:50.000 It was too much.
02:49:51.000 It was like 50 million bucks.
02:49:53.000 Who bought it?
02:49:55.000 I don't know.
02:49:55.000 Some psycho.
02:49:56.000 A fan.
02:49:59.000 You know, like women write to serial killers.
02:50:01.000 Dude, someone bought the cabin that...
02:50:04.000 Kaczynski lives in?
02:50:05.000 Yeah.
02:50:05.000 Really?
02:50:06.000 I think so.
02:50:07.000 I mean, you could buy the acre of land that he owned at one point for like 60,000 bucks.
02:50:12.000 Wow.
02:50:13.000 Or cheaper.
02:50:13.000 It was cheap.
02:50:14.000 With the cabin on it?
02:50:15.000 I don't know if the cabin was there.
02:50:16.000 They might have leveled that cabin.
02:50:18.000 It was weird because he just had this one acre or two in the middle of fucking nowhere.
02:50:23.000 Yeah.
02:50:24.000 He must have got it for nothing.
02:50:28.000 He was a fucking odd dude, too.
02:50:31.000 I wonder what was he eating up in that cabin.
02:50:34.000 He's probably making breaks, dude.
02:50:38.000 Maybe he went crazy from too much sodium interacting with the LSD residue.
02:50:46.000 It's funny because he's the prototypical guy, the loner in the woods that everyone's afraid of.
02:50:52.000 Like, what's worst case scenario, loner in the woods?
02:50:55.000 A genius who's trying to kill everybody.
02:50:58.000 Everybody who made technology, and this was his idea that technology was going to take over the human race.
02:51:02.000 Yeah, it's a supervillain.
02:51:03.000 It's a movie character.
02:51:04.000 Meanwhile, he's kind of correct.
02:51:07.000 Yeah, he wasn't wrong.
02:51:09.000 He wasn't wrong about technology taking over the human race.
02:51:11.000 Yeah.
02:51:12.000 This is all pre-cell phones, right?
02:51:14.000 This is pre, at least, smartphones.
02:51:16.000 When was Kaczynski?
02:51:17.000 When was all that?
02:51:18.000 I think it started in the early 90s.
02:51:21.000 Yeah, so this is, I mean, cell phones just existed in, like, suitcase form back then, right?
02:51:30.000 Maybe you could get a StarTac.
02:51:31.000 So wait, how long was he living in the woods before he started sending the pipe bombs?
02:51:34.000 Was he up there since, like, 1970s?
02:51:37.000 I think it was his plan once he left teaching.
02:51:42.000 His plan was to make enough money teaching so that he could go to the woods and do this.
02:51:48.000 Didn't he leave teaching almost immediately after working at Berkeley for just a year or something?
02:51:54.000 I don't know.
02:51:55.000 I don't know how long he was there for.
02:51:56.000 But what they said was that was where he had gotten the money.
02:52:00.000 According to his Wikipedia, he lived at home for two years after resigning and then moved to the remote cabin in Montana.
02:52:08.000 So during those two years, he probably formulated his life's plan.
02:52:12.000 Live a simple life with little money without electricity or running water.
02:52:16.000 Working odd jobs, receiving significant financial support from his family.
02:52:21.000 75 years.
02:52:22.000 So that was quite a few years later.
02:52:25.000 He performed acts of sabotage, including arson and booby-trapping against developments near his cabin.
02:52:31.000 So he started with that.
02:52:32.000 He also dedicated himself to reading about sociology and political philosophy, including the works of Jacques Ellul.
02:52:40.000 Kaczynski's brother David later stated that Ellul's book, The Technological Society, became Ted's Bible.
02:52:46.000 Kaczynski recounted in 1998. When I read the book for the first time, I was delighted because I thought, here is someone who is saying what I've already been thinking.
02:52:56.000 Oh, wow.
02:53:00.000 Interesting.
02:53:02.000 The cabin was in storage.
02:53:04.000 I was trying to find out who bought it, but there it is in FBI storage.
02:53:07.000 Whoa!
02:53:08.000 He lived in that.
02:53:10.000 Dude, we should sell kits of that on Amazon.
02:53:14.000 Get a mini version of it.
02:53:16.000 Why not?
02:53:17.000 Use that stock photo.
02:53:19.000 Yeah.
02:53:19.000 It's a tribute.
02:53:21.000 Make it out of plastic.
02:53:22.000 Kids can play in it.
02:53:24.000 Kids Playhouse slash Unabomber can.
02:53:28.000 Fuck, man.
02:53:30.000 That's the guy that everyone's afraid of.
02:53:31.000 That's when people say, yeah, I'm a loner.
02:53:33.000 Like, bitch, you're not a loner.
02:53:34.000 Real loners are fucking crazy.
02:53:37.000 That's a real loner.
02:53:39.000 That's a broken person.
02:53:42.000 Wow.
02:53:44.000 You think they purposely picked the genius to do that to you?
02:53:47.000 Well, I think that's what they had to work with.
02:53:49.000 They're at Harvard.
02:53:51.000 Yeah.
02:53:51.000 You know, and we probably have quite a few geniuses, and he was probably already super odd because of that thing that happened to him when he was a baby.
02:53:58.000 Right, he's probably already a sociopath.
02:54:00.000 Yeah.
02:54:01.000 It's okay to keep fucking with this guy.
02:54:03.000 One of the things his brother said, if he asked a girl out and the girl rejected him, he would write horrible letters to her.
02:54:09.000 Just horrible, vicious, mean shit.
02:54:12.000 He would yell at them and stuff.
02:54:14.000 It's like he was just off the rails.
02:54:15.000 He was crazy before all that.
02:54:17.000 Wow.
02:54:18.000 And then they dose him up with acid and humiliate him.
02:54:20.000 They're probably like, this guy's perfect.
02:54:21.000 He's already out of his fucking mind.
02:54:23.000 Let's see what we can do to him.
02:54:25.000 And they turned him into a serial killer.
02:54:28.000 Maybe it wasn't even like a...
02:54:31.000 You know, like, a CIA program, maybe the guy's just bored and just like to fuck with people.
02:54:42.000 Kaczynski?
02:54:43.000 Like, I'm talking about the CIA. Oh.
02:54:45.000 Maybe it's like, look at this fucking nerd.
02:54:49.000 Well, I think they had free will to do whatever they wanted back then.
02:54:52.000 When the CIA was operating, doing that MK Ultra, all those experiments, and Operation Midnight Climax, when they were doing all that stuff, they were allowed to do whatever they wanted.
02:55:04.000 They could just run tests.
02:55:06.000 They operated a brothel.
02:55:08.000 They operated a brothel when they dosed the Johns up and observed the reactions.
02:55:14.000 That's the midnight, what is it called?
02:55:16.000 Midnight Climax, yeah.
02:55:18.000 They also ran Haight-Ashbury Free Clinic.
02:55:21.000 They ran it until the book Chaos came out.
02:55:24.000 Then they closed it down.
02:55:28.000 They ran it forever.
02:55:29.000 They ran a free clinic.
02:55:30.000 And Manson used to visit it.
02:55:34.000 That's insane, dude.
02:55:35.000 It's insane.
02:55:36.000 When you find out what they actually 100% did...
02:55:40.000 And you realize that nothing...
02:55:43.000 Things just get better.
02:55:44.000 They don't just stop.
02:55:45.000 Like, if you're really good at being a secretive organization that has massive control over people and you can experiment on folks, that doesn't just go away.
02:55:55.000 That just evolves.
02:55:57.000 It just gets better.
02:55:58.000 It gets better at what it's doing and hides its tracks a little bit more.
02:56:02.000 Learns from its mistakes and gets better.
02:56:05.000 Yeah, it's just like that.
02:56:07.000 I mean, you know...
02:56:10.000 There's so many conspiracy theories, and I think a lot of them are rooted in reality and truth.
02:56:17.000 But I'm constantly reading the news, seeing something that's being like, what the fuck is actually going on with this thing here?
02:56:26.000 It's funny how much shit that Jon Stewart got for You know, just pointing out coronavirus, you know, coming from so close to the coronavirus research facility.
02:56:39.000 Basically, you know, like, I don't know, man.
02:56:43.000 And now that's accepted as fact.
02:56:44.000 I just was reading about Mitch McConnell's sister-in-law, who died in Texas on February 11th, although it's just now in the news.
02:56:53.000 She died in a Tesla.
02:56:56.000 That she drowned in her Tesla on her ranch in a pond.
02:57:03.000 And she's like a billionaire.
02:57:07.000 And I was like...
02:57:09.000 Yeah, the Tesla backed into the pond or something?
02:57:12.000 Yeah.
02:57:13.000 She did a three-point turn into the pond.
02:57:17.000 But that just seems really sketchy.
02:57:21.000 Well, the thing about any kind of electronic device is that that is a computer.
02:57:28.000 Someone can operate that computer.
02:57:31.000 I think it's impossible to make a computer that can't be hacked.
02:57:39.000 I think if you've got a thing, look, they already know how to make your keys.
02:57:43.000 Oh, dude, her Tesla ran off of a nine-inch floppy disk.
02:57:47.000 So she's fine.
02:57:48.000 You know, they know how to make your keys now.
02:57:50.000 They have a scanner that they can use outside your home, and they can pick up on your key fob, like if you have a little thing of keys next to the, and they can get the signal off of that and use it to make a new key fob or use that signal to operate your car.
02:58:04.000 And then they just start your car up and drive it off.
02:58:08.000 I mean, if you have a computer, that was always the big theory about Michael Hastings, too.
02:58:13.000 He was that journalist that reported on that general, was talking shit about Obama, and then he got fired during the Iraq War.
02:58:19.000 Do you know that story?
02:58:20.000 Yeah.
02:58:21.000 The theory was always on him that they controlled his car.
02:58:24.000 He died by going 120 miles an hour down La Brea, right into a tree, and his car exploded.
02:58:32.000 And then the question back then was, is it possible to control someone's car?
02:58:36.000 And they're like, yeah.
02:58:38.000 All the people that understand the technology that existed in 2004 when this guy died, they're like, yeah, you can do that.
02:58:45.000 It was 2004. Do you drive an electronic car?
02:58:48.000 Yep.
02:58:48.000 Drove one here.
02:58:49.000 It was like 2010. 2010. Jesus Christ.
02:58:53.000 Yeah, I drove one here.
02:58:55.000 Oh, 2004 was the Tic Tac.
02:58:58.000 That was the question about the Tic Tac.
02:59:00.000 If that is ours, how the fuck could they do that in 2004?
02:59:04.000 That doesn't seem possible.
02:59:05.000 No, you couldn't even play, like, a video game online.
02:59:08.000 Yeah, you could.
02:59:09.000 Not really.
02:59:10.000 Oh, yeah, 2004, you could play pretty good.
02:59:12.000 If you had a good cable connection.
02:59:14.000 Well, maybe in LA. Not in Akron.
02:59:17.000 You couldn't?
02:59:17.000 No.
02:59:18.000 I played guys...
02:59:19.000 I used to play Quake in the late 90s, and you could play online.
02:59:23.000 We might have just had shitty internet.
02:59:25.000 You could get good internet back then.
02:59:27.000 They had cable.
02:59:28.000 People had cable.
02:59:29.000 But if you had dial-up, that sucked.
02:59:31.000 You definitely couldn't play dial-up.
02:59:31.000 No, we had cable, but...
02:59:33.000 Did you have cable internet?
02:59:35.000 No, we did.
02:59:35.000 I just remember trying to play Call of Duty online.
02:59:38.000 It would not really work.
02:59:40.000 It could be a bunch of things.
02:59:42.000 You could have had a shit connection.
02:59:44.000 But there was a lot of people playing video games online at 2004. But that thing, whatever the fuck that Tic Tac thing was, it's the speed that it moved at.
02:59:53.000 It doesn't make any sense.
02:59:54.000 Yeah, changing directions.
02:59:55.000 And the fact that they have so many different people that saw it and they got video footage of it.
03:00:00.000 And the guy who I interviewed, David Fravor, the guy who was the pilot who came out and talked about it, he's not a loon at all.
03:00:07.000 He's just a rock solid pilot who, you know, with everything else, he's 100% by the book.
03:00:15.000 He talks like a jet fighter pilot.
03:00:17.000 They're all like super disciplined guys.
03:00:20.000 Like, they don't fuck around.
03:00:22.000 And so when he's telling you about this thing, he's also not fucking around.
03:00:26.000 He's explaining it to you in terms of what the instrument panel was showing him, that they had locked onto it, that this thing was jamming their radar signals.
03:00:36.000 Like, whatever it was doing, that's what led them to be alarmed, because that's technically, I think that's an act of war.
03:00:41.000 I think you're not allowed to jam radar signals from another vehicle.
03:00:46.000 And whatever the fuck this thing was also flew at some insane rate of speed right to their cat point, which is where they were supposed to meet up.
03:00:54.000 Like, the thing knew where they were supposed to meet up.
03:00:57.000 Like, see ya, ha ha, pew, took off.
03:00:59.000 So that could be that aliens knew it, they read their instrument and knew it, or it could be that we knew it, humans, people knew it, because this is theirs.
03:01:08.000 They flew this fucking thing around, they wanted to see how people's reaction would be to it if they saw it out there.
03:01:13.000 They probably let these fighter pilots experience it.
03:01:17.000 What year did the government acknowledge Area 51?
03:01:22.000 I don't think they did that until the Obama administration.
03:01:25.000 I think the story was that they had to expand the boundaries because too many people were camping out and, like, using, like, high-power telescopes and shit and viewing it and using, like, high-power lenses and filming these test flights of different things they were working on.
03:01:43.000 But, yeah, you know, in the 80s, You know, when I was like eight, nine, I would get books out of the library about like...
03:01:51.000 Area 51. Yes.
03:01:53.000 I mean, that was like a pretty well-known conspiracy theory that turned out to be real.
03:01:59.000 CIA acknowledges this mysterious Area 51, 2013. Right.
03:02:04.000 Wow.
03:02:05.000 Test site for the first time.
03:02:06.000 Like 25, 30 years after people started talking about it.
03:02:10.000 Yeah, people were talking about it a long time ago.
03:02:12.000 Oh, yeah.
03:02:12.000 It was always in UFO folklore that that's where they had to crash discs.
03:02:17.000 And then the Bob Lazar thing, that was in, like, 89 when he came out and said he worked there.
03:02:23.000 Right.
03:02:25.000 Which is still today my favorite one.
03:02:27.000 That's the one I want to be real.
03:02:29.000 Yeah.
03:02:30.000 Out of all the ones I want to be real, the Bob Lazar story, it's number one on the list.
03:02:35.000 Yeah, I mean, is he still alive?
03:02:38.000 Yep.
03:02:40.000 Yeah.
03:02:41.000 He runs United Nuclear.
03:02:42.000 It's like some sort of research company.
03:02:46.000 They sell chemicals and shit.
03:02:48.000 He does a bunch of different things.
03:02:50.000 But while he was filming the documentary about him, he got raided by the FBI. The FBI raided it because apparently they think that he might have...
03:03:01.000 A sample of this element that's used to power this spaceship.
03:03:05.000 Because he was working on the propulsion system.
03:03:08.000 His job was to back-engineer whatever this thing was.
03:03:12.000 And he said this thing revolved, it all was about this reactor that they had in the center of the craft.
03:03:20.000 That used this element called 115, which is a new element, and that if you bombard this element with radiation, it does something to distort gravity.
03:03:31.000 And so they had this thing in the center of the craft, and they knew it worked, but they didn't know how it worked.
03:03:37.000 And so they were trying to get these scientists, and they'd bring in new scientists.
03:03:41.000 Like, let's try some new guys.
03:03:42.000 Let's try this guy.
03:03:44.000 And so they get this dude who was a young, crazy person who was working at Los Alamos Labs.
03:03:49.000 He put a fucking jet engine in a Honda.
03:03:51.000 I mean, he was a maniac.
03:03:53.000 And they got this guy, and they flew him out, and they said, here it is.
03:03:58.000 Tell us what it is.
03:03:59.000 He's like, what the fuck?
03:04:01.000 And when he first saw it, his reaction was, oh, this is ours.
03:04:05.000 That's why people keep seeing these flying saucers.
03:04:07.000 It even had an American flag sticker on it.
03:04:10.000 He's like, oh, this is ours.
03:04:12.000 That makes sense.
03:04:14.000 And then he realized along the way, no, no, no, no, no.
03:04:18.000 This is impossible.
03:04:20.000 It doesn't have any seams.
03:04:21.000 It's like it's 3D printed and it's designed for tiny people, like something that's like three feet tall.
03:04:27.000 It doesn't have any controls, but somehow or another it works.
03:04:31.000 Somehow or another it moves and they can lift it up and they can do stuff with it.
03:04:34.000 What the fuck is this?
03:04:36.000 And so supposedly he, when he took off, He got a piece of this 115 when they fired him.
03:04:44.000 The reason they fired him, do you know that story?
03:04:45.000 No.
03:04:46.000 It's nuts.
03:04:46.000 His wife was having an affair because he couldn't tell her that he was working at Area 51. So she assumed he was fucking around.
03:04:54.000 All their phones are tapped.
03:04:55.000 Everything's tapped.
03:04:56.000 Because if you have that kind of top secret clearance, they have to be able to listen to all your phone calls.
03:05:00.000 So while he's flying, it's 11 p.m.
03:05:03.000 They're calling me to work.
03:05:04.000 What?
03:05:05.000 And he has to get on a plane.
03:05:06.000 He can't tell her where he's going.
03:05:07.000 She's like, fuck this marriage.
03:05:08.000 And so she starts banging her instructor, like a flight instructor.
03:05:12.000 And so they don't tell him that this is why he's getting fired.
03:05:17.000 But the emotional turmoil in his life, because his wife is clearly having an affair with him, he can't have top secret clearance anymore.
03:05:22.000 So now he has to go back.
03:05:24.000 So now he's like, what the fuck happened?
03:05:25.000 So he takes his friends.
03:05:27.000 He takes twice.
03:05:28.000 He takes his friends.
03:05:28.000 He's like, on Wednesday night, they pilot these fucking things.
03:05:31.000 I'm going to take you out.
03:05:31.000 I'm going to show you this.
03:05:32.000 So you know I'm not fucking crazy.
03:05:34.000 And they all observe these things hovering and moving around.
03:05:37.000 And then he gets arrested.
03:05:39.000 He gets caught doing it.
03:05:40.000 And so then he's like, I got to go public.
03:05:43.000 And so then he gets a hold of George Knapp.
03:05:45.000 And he tells George Knapp his whole story.
03:05:47.000 And he's like, I was working at this place.
03:05:49.000 And they're back engineering spaceships from another fucking planet.
03:05:54.000 It's nuts.
03:05:55.000 He said the same story exactly for 30 whatever years.
03:05:59.000 It's fucking bananas.
03:06:01.000 That's amazing.
03:06:02.000 Yeah, your interviews with him are amazing.
03:06:03.000 I want it to be true so bad.
03:06:07.000 I do too.
03:06:08.000 It's a problem though, right?
03:06:10.000 Because you've seen something though.
03:06:14.000 Nothing like that, but yeah, it was something.
03:06:17.000 It was something.
03:06:18.000 But it wasn't...
03:06:20.000 I didn't see something that was so mind-blowingly...
03:06:23.000 It seems like it would be totally plausible that what I saw existed.
03:06:29.000 It just was quiet.
03:06:30.000 That was the only thing.
03:06:31.000 It was odd about it.
03:06:33.000 That's odd, though.
03:06:34.000 Something can move in the sky that's quiet.
03:06:37.000 It doesn't make any sense.
03:06:38.000 Zero sound.
03:06:39.000 That doesn't make any sense, especially if it's close enough for you to see it.
03:06:42.000 It doesn't make any sense.
03:06:44.000 Also, the way they move.
03:06:46.000 What can move like that other than a drone?
03:06:49.000 Drones move like that, but powered by what?
03:06:52.000 I think the Bob Lazar stuff that he's talking about, I think that's a propulsion system that they've been working on forever.
03:06:58.000 They theorized the idea of some sort of a gravity propulsion system, something that does something to gravity that allows it to move through things very quickly.
03:07:09.000 They thought about that like the 1950s that was theorized.
03:07:14.000 Yeah, I mean, like, don't they say the only way that you could actually, like, traverse the universe is by skipping through different dimensions?
03:07:26.000 Right?
03:07:26.000 So with that type of engine that's manipulating gravity, be able to...
03:07:32.000 Do something like that.
03:07:33.000 The idea behind it, the way he described it, Lazar described it, is if you thought of space as like your mattress, like a really soft, cushy mattress, and you drop like a giant lead ball in the middle of that mattress and everything would just go...
03:07:49.000 It would just get sucked in.
03:07:51.000 He goes, that's what it's doing.
03:07:53.000 It's a very simplified version of what it's doing, but it's doing something to the gravity that allows it to move in a way that we don't understand yet.
03:08:02.000 Right.
03:08:03.000 But this thing, this element 115, it was just completely theoretical until there was a large...
03:08:09.000 One of the particle colliders detected it.
03:08:11.000 They detected it for just like a very brief moment when they do those things.
03:08:15.000 Right.
03:08:16.000 And they said, okay, it's a real element.
03:08:18.000 And what Bob Lazar is saying is that this element is a stable element that these beings have.
03:08:24.000 And when they use this stable element.
03:08:26.000 So we can imagine a world where the properties are very different than ours.
03:08:32.000 And they might have this element.
03:08:34.000 It might be just a natural part of their environment for some reason.
03:08:37.000 Or just some isotope.
03:08:39.000 Yeah.
03:08:39.000 Or they've developed it.
03:08:40.000 Maybe the one that they detected with a collider.
03:08:44.000 Maybe they figured out how to make it.
03:08:46.000 What we have to do is go back to the 40s to get those smart people to figure this out.
03:08:54.000 The people that didn't have calculators.
03:08:56.000 The pre-bath salt people.
03:08:57.000 Well, those guys, if you watch Oppenheimer, I guess that's how those guys were rolling.
03:09:02.000 They were kind of rock star scientists.
03:09:05.000 They were rockstar scientists, and I think those are the kind of guys that wind up doing rockstar type scientist shit.
03:09:12.000 And those guys aren't around anymore.
03:09:14.000 Before there were rockstars, there were people signing their bowling promo photos.
03:09:22.000 That's what was going on.
03:09:23.000 Then rock and roll came out, and the bowlers were like, what the fuck?
03:09:29.000 Prior to the bowlers, I guess it was the scientists.
03:09:32.000 Well, there was just a limited amount of shit you could watch on TV back then.
03:09:35.000 So if you put bowling on, people were like, I'll watch.
03:09:38.000 Yeah.
03:09:39.000 Right.
03:09:40.000 And, like, kids would, like, worship a cowboy character.
03:09:45.000 That was a bowler.
03:09:46.000 That was a bowler.
03:09:47.000 Yeah.
03:09:53.000 Yeah.
03:09:53.000 I do think it might be that bullying was so popular because it's, even though you couldn't, as we determined, you can't see sports on television prior to like 1995, you could probably, bullying's the least confusing thing you could probably watch on TV. That's true.
03:10:09.000 It's a static, just the person's throwing the ball, all you have to do is watch one little thing go towards, there's no other players.
03:10:18.000 They used to have pool on TV back then.
03:10:20.000 It was a big deal.
03:10:21.000 They'd have like Willie Moscone matches and they would play him on ABC. That would get confusing.
03:10:28.000 Well, I guess that you could see the colors of the ball.
03:10:30.000 Yeah, you could see it.
03:10:30.000 You could never see the numbers.
03:10:32.000 Also, but the announcer was always describing what's happening.
03:10:36.000 So that's what we should go.
03:10:38.000 We should pitch a radio show.
03:10:45.000 I'm just thinking about my dad listening to baseball games on the radio but I'm just thinking about how fucking excruciating it would be to have someone radio broadcasting in a pool match.
03:10:57.000 That's the kind of shit that Kaczynski was into.
03:11:04.000 What would be better, radio broadcasting that or radio broadcasting bowling?
03:11:09.000 I think bowling would probably be better.
03:11:11.000 You'd have the excitement of the pins breaking.
03:11:13.000 Right, you would hear it.
03:11:15.000 And also you could be like, okay, he's got two pins left.
03:11:19.000 Right.
03:11:20.000 It would be clear.
03:11:21.000 You could get it in your head.
03:11:22.000 If you're trying to lay out of a pool table, you're like, where's the five ball?
03:11:26.000 Yeah, exactly.
03:11:28.000 What are you saying?
03:11:29.000 So the center of the two pockets?
03:11:32.000 Closer to the left side or the right side?
03:11:34.000 Okay, in relationship to the six ball.
03:11:35.000 Where's the six ball?
03:11:36.000 Is that the end rail?
03:11:38.000 This is like some Abbott and Costello stuff.
03:11:40.000 I can see that going down.
03:11:42.000 It would be fucking terrible.
03:11:43.000 It would be fucking terrible.
03:11:45.000 It would be a good skit, actually.
03:11:47.000 It would be impossible.
03:11:48.000 You wouldn't be able to map it out.
03:11:49.000 The most confusing sport to describe over radio.
03:11:55.000 Yeah.
03:11:55.000 You're playing eight balls.
03:11:56.000 There's 15 balls on the table.
03:11:59.000 Shut the fuck up.
03:12:03.000 Yeah, they probably...
03:12:05.000 Couldn't have existed without television.
03:12:08.000 It's probably once people started looking at it, they're like, wow, this is crazy.
03:12:14.000 What the kids are playing now though, video games, it's probably really difficult to get kids bowling today.
03:12:20.000 Like, video games are so insane.
03:12:23.000 Yeah, they're nuts.
03:12:27.000 I'm glad they weren't around like that when I was a kid.
03:12:32.000 Yeah, I kind of stopped playing unless my younger brother comes and visits me.
03:12:37.000 But...
03:12:38.000 Also, kids are so good at them now.
03:12:41.000 Oh, yeah.
03:12:42.000 But I also think...
03:12:42.000 I can definitely tell my brain is slowing down.
03:12:48.000 You know when you're talking to my...
03:12:50.000 How fast kids process shit?
03:12:52.000 Yeah.
03:12:53.000 Oh my god, dude.
03:12:54.000 I'm like...
03:12:54.000 I'll say something, and by the time...
03:12:58.000 I don't know, my two-year-old kid is at least five times faster at understanding something than me.
03:13:06.000 Do you feel this?
03:13:07.000 Yeah, they're not tired.
03:13:08.000 They also don't have mortgages.
03:13:10.000 Yeah.
03:13:10.000 There's a lot of shit going on.
03:13:12.000 No, but their brains are just hyper-fast.
03:13:14.000 Yeah, hyper-fast, and then no responsibilities and no stress.
03:13:17.000 And they're being taken care of, so they're more relaxed...
03:13:19.000 So the resolutions, like, that's why years used to feel fucking forever when you were a kid.
03:13:24.000 Right.
03:13:24.000 Because your resolution's just, like, so high.
03:13:26.000 You're just, like, getting every single thing.
03:13:28.000 And as you get older, you're just, like, you're getting, like, two frames a minute.
03:13:33.000 Well, also, like, years used to feel so long because you only had lived five of them.
03:13:39.000 You know, it's crazy.
03:13:40.000 Another year?
03:13:41.000 It's not like, Jesus Christ, this is going by so fast, can't believe I'm seven.
03:13:44.000 But I do think there's an evolutionary thing, right?
03:13:46.000 Just because you've got to learn so much in those first seven years of your life.
03:13:51.000 You've got to go from not even understanding how to choose something to do math.
03:13:59.000 And running.
03:14:00.000 And run.
03:14:01.000 Yeah, you've got to learn sports.
03:14:02.000 You've got to learn to make fun of a certain kid and not the other kid.
03:14:06.000 But man, if you could pick up a guitar at five, holy shit.
03:14:10.000 If you were really dedicated, imagine.
03:14:13.000 Are those extra years of learning a musical instrument?
03:14:16.000 I mean, I will say, it seems like any child prodigy musician makes shitty music.
03:14:21.000 That seems to be a thing that I've noticed.
03:14:26.000 That's what I'm always talking about.
03:14:27.000 I'm always like, who the fuck is letting Doogie Howser be their doctor?
03:14:35.000 That's what doesn't fucking make sense.
03:14:37.000 It's cool the kid's smart enough to become a doctor at 11, but no fucking grown person would be like, yeah, my doctor's an 11-year-old child.
03:14:46.000 Doogie Howser, MD. That's my doctor.
03:14:48.000 I've selected him.
03:14:50.000 Like, dude, you know who's fucking selecting that guy?
03:14:53.000 The dude that tried to fucking show you the fucking monster books.
03:14:57.000 Probably.
03:14:57.000 Yeah.
03:14:58.000 He's getting pedoed.
03:15:06.000 Should we end with that?
03:15:09.000 That's a good way to end this.
03:15:10.000 I think so.
03:15:11.000 This was fun.
03:15:12.000 Thank you for having us back on.
03:15:13.000 My pleasure.
03:15:13.000 And again, your fucking new album is amazing.
03:15:17.000 Thank you.
03:15:17.000 It's classic Black Keys.
03:15:19.000 It's so good.
03:15:21.000 It's so good.
03:15:21.000 Thanks, man.
03:15:22.000 I've listened to it at least 50 times.
03:15:24.000 It's really good.
03:15:24.000 I fucking love it.
03:15:26.000 I gotta get a password to listen to it again.
03:15:28.000 We'll send it to you in a minute.
03:15:29.000 Soak it up!
03:15:30.000 Alright, anything else to tell people?
03:15:33.000 The day of the album, it drops...
03:15:34.000 April 5th.
03:15:35.000 April 5th, there it is.
03:15:37.000 Ooh, nice.
03:15:40.000 Good photo.
03:15:41.000 Look what she's doing to her fingers.
03:15:43.000 That seems obscene.
03:15:43.000 It's modeled after a photo that we found, and we couldn't clear it.
03:15:48.000 We couldn't find the owner, so that's actually Dan's girlfriend.
03:15:52.000 Congratulations to you, Dan.
03:15:54.000 Thank you.
03:15:55.000 You've done well.
03:15:56.000 Thank you.
03:15:57.000 Awesome.
03:15:58.000 Again, it's amazing.
03:16:00.000 Can't wait to be able to get it everywhere.
03:16:02.000 I think it's right up there with all your best shit.
03:16:06.000 Thanks, man.
03:16:06.000 It's fucking awesome.
03:16:07.000 Appreciate you guys.
03:16:08.000 Thank you, everybody.
03:16:09.000 Bye.