The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2127

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast.

00:00:02.000 Check it out.

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day.

00:00:07.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.

00:00:08.000 All day.

00:00:12.000 Hello, Eleanor.

00:00:14.000 Great deep breath.

00:00:15.000 How are you?

00:00:15.000 I really took that in.

00:00:16.000 What's going on?

00:00:17.000 What's cracking, kid?

00:00:18.000 I'm excited to be here.

00:00:19.000 Excited to have you.

00:00:21.000 How's LA treating you?

00:00:23.000 LA's good.

00:00:24.000 I mean, I'll be honest, I haven't been there a lot.

00:00:27.000 After I film my special, I just, I mean, I'm on the road so much.

00:00:30.000 Right.

00:00:31.000 So, which is good.

00:00:32.000 And then I get to go to Philly.

00:00:34.000 In between, I hang out with my mom.

00:00:36.000 So, in between gigs, I'll just hang out with my mom instead of going back to LA. But I feel like I haven't been, I think I was there for five days last week.

00:00:44.000 Yeah, it becomes, when you do the road all the time, your house sort of just becomes some stop.

00:00:50.000 Yeah, but I have no responsibility whatsoever.

00:00:52.000 I don't have a plant.

00:00:54.000 I have nothing.

00:00:55.000 What a free existence you've carved out for yourself.

00:01:00.000 What an asshole.

00:01:02.000 So selfish.

00:01:03.000 It's funny because people think about it that way.

00:01:05.000 You have to have things you're responsible for, otherwise you're a bad person.

00:01:09.000 Yeah, I always tell my mom I'm leaving her what she would want to do had she not had 10 children.

00:01:16.000 Ten children.

00:01:17.000 Yeah, good times.

00:01:19.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:01:19.000 Keep it up, lady.

00:01:21.000 Ten kids is so bonkers.

00:01:23.000 Who does that?

00:01:24.000 How about on the ninth one?

00:01:25.000 You're like, one more.

00:01:27.000 Her worst pregnancy.

00:01:28.000 The ninth one?

00:01:29.000 The ninth one.

00:01:29.000 Longest delivery.

00:01:31.000 My little brother Bobby.

00:01:32.000 She said that's how lazy he was.

00:01:33.000 He wouldn't come out.

00:01:34.000 He's so lazy.

00:01:37.000 She said he was hanging on for dear life.

00:01:39.000 I'm like, why?

00:01:40.000 And she said, because he's lazy.

00:01:41.000 It'd be an interesting study to have 10 kids and just to see, like, what makes them come out different.

00:01:47.000 Right.

00:01:47.000 This is one thing, like, having children, seeing them from babies, you realize, like, oh, they're different right out of the box.

00:01:55.000 Yeah.

00:01:55.000 Like, it has zero to do with, like, what you tell them.

00:02:00.000 This is what you should do.

00:02:01.000 Like, a lot of them is just how they come from the factory.

00:02:05.000 Right.

00:02:05.000 Exactly.

00:02:06.000 And you always think like, I know there's genetic stuff, like you inherit stuff genetically, whatever.

00:02:12.000 You know, I'm pretending I know what I'm saying.

00:02:15.000 Epigenetics.

00:02:15.000 Yeah, but that's good.

00:02:17.000 Yeah, I remember that.

00:02:18.000 Anyway, I asked my mom to write this thing for me, like what she was going through with each kid, just to see if I can get it.

00:02:26.000 Because we are all different, like in the craziest ways.

00:02:28.000 Oh, like in her life.

00:02:29.000 Yeah, like what was going on.

00:02:31.000 And it is interesting because when it gets to my brother Charlie, like she was going through stuff with my dad and physically her whole body.

00:02:41.000 She was pregnant.

00:02:43.000 Her kidneys were failing.

00:02:45.000 And they had to literally move him to the side, you know, operate on her kidneys, take it out, whatever, before it like killed the baby.

00:02:55.000 Oh my God.

00:02:55.000 And it was insane.

00:02:57.000 Like she tells the story.

00:02:58.000 I'm like, oh, what?

00:02:59.000 How?

00:02:59.000 Right?

00:02:59.000 Why?

00:03:00.000 And then she said they put it back, cleared her out.

00:03:04.000 She was good.

00:03:05.000 The kidneys didn't affect anything.

00:03:07.000 And then they assumed Charlie was going to be stillborn.

00:03:10.000 So the nurse came in and she was like real down.

00:03:14.000 And the nurse goes, are you nervous you're going to lose this child?

00:03:20.000 And she's like, is this your first?

00:03:21.000 And my mom goes, no, this is my sixth.

00:03:23.000 And she goes, you go right ahead and lose that baby.

00:03:25.000 Oh my god.

00:03:27.000 The nurse said that?

00:03:28.000 It's a different time.

00:03:29.000 Oh my god.

00:03:31.000 Imagine if a nurse said that today.

00:03:33.000 She'd be executed on the spot.

00:03:35.000 Humans were so different before social media.

00:03:37.000 Yeah, it was so cool.

00:03:38.000 What is that?

00:03:39.000 Is it accountability?

00:03:41.000 Is it that we're now influenced by so many different people?

00:03:45.000 Is it like a lot of it is just more bullshit?

00:03:50.000 Like people can't just say what they really think?

00:03:54.000 Because they're just terrified they're going to get attacked by so many people, so you bullshit more.

00:04:00.000 And that lady was telling the truth.

00:04:02.000 Yeah, she was telling the truth.

00:04:03.000 That's all she did.

00:04:04.000 And she was, in a weird way, she was trying to encourage your mother to feel better.

00:04:08.000 Like, hey, you've got six kids.

00:04:09.000 You're going to be fine.

00:04:10.000 You're good.

00:04:11.000 You can lose this one, right?

00:04:13.000 She was just being serious.

00:04:14.000 By the way, Charlie's in his 50s.

00:04:16.000 He's fine.

00:04:18.000 Amazing.

00:04:18.000 They didn't know a lot back then, you know?

00:04:20.000 I don't know which one of your brothers I've met.

00:04:22.000 You've met Jimmy.

00:04:24.000 I know that.

00:04:24.000 And he tortures me.

00:04:26.000 He's like, I want that car.

00:04:27.000 Which car?

00:04:28.000 He's a car guy, the Bronco.

00:04:30.000 Oh, my Bronco.

00:04:31.000 He's obsessed with the Bronco.

00:04:31.000 He's like, I'll come now.

00:04:33.000 I'll take it.

00:04:33.000 I'll just take it.

00:04:34.000 I'm like, oh, God.

00:04:35.000 I remember this one night at the comedy show.

00:04:37.000 Fucking Philly guys.

00:04:38.000 They're crazy.

00:04:40.000 I don't know if you'll remember this because it was more like I was a nervous wreck.

00:04:44.000 Jimmy was visiting.

00:04:45.000 He installed computers all over the country.

00:04:49.000 So he would come to LA a lot.

00:04:51.000 And he'd just pop in to the comedy store and we'd be like, oh shit, my brother's here.

00:04:54.000 So we're hanging out.

00:04:56.000 You're...

00:04:56.000 We were all hanging out like in the, what is it called?

00:05:00.000 Like the back?

00:05:00.000 With the parking lot is?

00:05:01.000 Kind of, but like in the side, you know, in the little.

00:05:04.000 So you're sitting on the ledge and Don Barris was saying crazy shit to me, right?

00:05:12.000 And in a way, Don doesn't.

00:05:14.000 We love it.

00:05:15.000 But I'm dying and he's saying like horrible shit.

00:05:18.000 But we're crying, laughing, and Jimmy was just taking it in, like, what the fuck is this?

00:05:24.000 And you looked at Don, and you go, Don, look at his calves.

00:05:31.000 Rethink what you're saying, because Jimmy has these ridiculous calves, and he's like Popeye.

00:05:36.000 And he was wearing shorts.

00:05:38.000 Yeah, of course.

00:05:38.000 Jeans shorts, I'm positive.

00:05:40.000 He's an idiot.

00:05:41.000 The...

00:05:42.000 But I was like, Don, you're about to get smashed.

00:05:45.000 Yeah, he's like, dude, calm down.

00:05:46.000 And you're like, Don.

00:05:47.000 And it just made me laugh so hard every time I think of that.

00:05:50.000 But Jimmy was in a lot.

00:05:51.000 Men who don't know or understand dangerous men are hilarious.

00:05:56.000 And Jimmy walks on his knuckles.

00:05:57.000 He's got giant hands.

00:05:59.000 Everybody always sees his hands and they're like, oh, God.

00:06:02.000 Well, it's also from a different part of the world.

00:06:03.000 Right.

00:06:04.000 It's basically like picking a fight with a Russian.

00:06:07.000 Like Philadelphia dudes.

00:06:09.000 That's true.

00:06:09.000 They're fucking different animals.

00:06:11.000 Yeah, they're not wrapped.

00:06:11.000 They fight way more often.

00:06:13.000 It's like Philly, Boston.

00:06:15.000 There's like a few cities like that, parts of New York, where you better shut the fuck up, man.

00:06:22.000 Yeah, just take it in.

00:06:23.000 They'll fucking hit you quick.

00:06:25.000 A lot quicker than you think.

00:06:27.000 Like, you're not going to have any room for talking your way out of this.

00:06:30.000 You're going to get hit.

00:06:31.000 It's not going to help, Don Harris.

00:06:32.000 I remember Don's face like, what?

00:06:34.000 I remember thinking like, oh my god, what happens here?

00:06:38.000 Your brother's gonna beat the fuck out of poor Don Barris.

00:06:42.000 And Don's just saying, you know.

00:06:44.000 But that was a thing, though.

00:06:46.000 Because we play those games.

00:06:47.000 Don would do that to everybody.

00:06:48.000 He would go on stage in the later spot, the last spot in the OR. And that show was done.

00:06:55.000 It was done two hours ago.

00:06:57.000 And somehow or another, there's still people in the audience.

00:07:00.000 So those people in the audience, they're the strangest of people.

00:07:05.000 Like, some of them are just ne'er-do-wells.

00:07:08.000 Nothing's ever worked out for them.

00:07:10.000 But then finally, at 1.30 a.m.

00:07:14.000 in Hollywood, on the Sunset Strip on Tuesday, they found their tribe.

00:07:19.000 Yeah.

00:07:19.000 They found their tribe.

00:07:20.000 And it's just them and a few other fucking scragglers and Don Barris.

00:07:26.000 And Don Barris is telling you how big his dick is, and he's like...

00:07:31.000 And he's put his foot on the table, staring people in the eye.

00:07:36.000 He's just doing, he's developed this style to do, like, kind of anything to get laughter out of people that have seen everything.

00:07:44.000 Everything.

00:07:45.000 Everything.

00:07:45.000 You have to understand, for people that are listening, how the Comedy Store works.

00:07:49.000 You get there, the show starts, on a regular night, starts at 8 o'clock.

00:07:53.000 What is it, Potluck?

00:07:55.000 What night does it start on Potluck?

00:07:56.000 Potluck's Monday now.

00:07:57.000 It was Sunday and Monday.

00:07:59.000 Right.

00:07:59.000 For a while.

00:08:00.000 It was Sunday, Monday, Tuesday for a while.

00:08:02.000 Was it Tuesday too?

00:08:03.000 When does potluck start?

00:08:05.000 I think it starts at 7. Okay, so that might be Don Barris might go on at the end of all the comics who go on after the end of all the open micers.

00:08:15.000 So there might be people that are on fucking...

00:08:19.000 All kinds of shit.

00:08:20.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:21.000 Methadone, fucking Adderall.

00:08:24.000 How many drinks they had.

00:08:26.000 Their whole life's a mess.

00:08:27.000 They've been texting their ex through the entire show and she's not texting back.

00:08:30.000 These fucking lost, lost people.

00:08:34.000 The dregs of society.

00:08:36.000 And Don Barris would have them left over.

00:08:39.000 Yeah.

00:08:39.000 And I've seen people like women walk out on their guys because they're just...

00:08:43.000 Don's like, let me spit in your mouth.

00:08:45.000 You know, it's what?

00:08:46.000 What?

00:08:47.000 I'm like, you want another rum and coke?

00:08:50.000 Like, I'm trying to sell drinks.

00:08:51.000 It's so crazy.

00:08:52.000 He was just trying to...

00:08:54.000 I mean, he essentially developed a style.

00:08:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:57.000 The king of late night.

00:08:59.000 Yeah.

00:08:59.000 Well, he put on a show, right?

00:09:02.000 Right.

00:09:02.000 It wasn't just his stand-up.

00:09:04.000 Like, he had a show.

00:09:05.000 Yeah.

00:09:06.000 Like, he really...

00:09:07.000 He'll play music sometimes.

00:09:10.000 Yeah.

00:09:10.000 There was a lot going on.

00:09:12.000 He was entertaining you, which is interesting.

00:09:14.000 It's like, he's an entertainer.

00:09:16.000 He's truly the freest of entertainers.

00:09:19.000 When I go up, I still get nervous.

00:09:22.000 I don't know if you get nervous at all.

00:09:23.000 Sure.

00:09:24.000 You do?

00:09:24.000 Yeah, sure.

00:09:25.000 Sometimes I feel like an idiot.

00:09:26.000 If you care about something, you're going to get nervous.

00:09:29.000 There you go.

00:09:29.000 That's what it is.

00:09:30.000 I panic a little.

00:09:32.000 But Don Barris just walks up like, hey, it's me.

00:09:37.000 Maybe it's from years of doing the warm-up as well.

00:09:40.000 I think that too.

00:09:41.000 I think it's a reps thing.

00:09:43.000 It's reps.

00:09:43.000 How many reps do you put in on stage?

00:09:45.000 Like some of those guys in New York that were hosts, they would get better really quick, especially at their delivery.

00:09:51.000 Because if you're hosting these nights in New York where people are doing seven minutes, you're going on stage, you're interacting with the crowd over and over and over again.

00:10:01.000 Yeah, and you find a way to be yourself.

00:10:05.000 It's like the inauthentic thing that a person does on stage.

00:10:10.000 You feel it while you're doing it, the audience feels it, and they might laugh still, but you know that you're not really...

00:10:17.000 But then when someone figures out how to be just them, for whatever reason, like Sebastian, he had to figure that out.

00:10:25.000 Sure, sure.

00:10:25.000 It took him a minute.

00:10:26.000 But he did.

00:10:27.000 And when he figured it out, it was like instantaneous murdering.

00:10:31.000 It's the best.

00:10:31.000 It went from a guy trying to figure it out to, oh, I got it.

00:10:35.000 Joey!

00:10:35.000 Do you remember the early days of Joey?

00:10:37.000 Joey Diaz?

00:10:38.000 Yes.

00:10:39.000 Interesting.

00:10:40.000 Do you remember?

00:10:41.000 Joey used to bomb.

00:10:43.000 Joey used to bomb.

00:10:45.000 It was crazy.

00:10:46.000 It didn't make any sense.

00:10:47.000 He was the funniest guy in the parking lot.

00:10:49.000 And then he would get tense when he would go on stage and he wouldn't have a good set.

00:10:53.000 It just wasn't him.

00:10:55.000 Interesting.

00:10:55.000 It was like more jokey joke.

00:10:57.000 Like he was trying to be a comedian.

00:10:59.000 He was trying to be some guy that's on late night television or something.

00:11:03.000 Maybe because I saw him in that light, the parking lot light, or he would fuck with me if I was waiting tables.

00:11:10.000 So it would make me laugh.

00:11:12.000 So I didn't judge what he did on stage.

00:11:15.000 The funniest guy of all time, talking to people.

00:11:18.000 Oh yeah.

00:11:19.000 You would scream.

00:11:20.000 If there's a few of us hanging around and Joey came over, all of a sudden the life of the party was there.

00:11:25.000 Everybody had a big smile on their face.

00:11:27.000 Joey's here!

00:11:28.000 You know, and it would be fun.

00:11:30.000 But it took him a while, and what it was was like getting his heart broken by deals that didn't happen, agents that didn't follow through, managers that fucked him up or fucked him over.

00:11:44.000 Yep.

00:11:44.000 And then he eventually is like, fuck these people.

00:11:47.000 Fuck these people.

00:11:48.000 And he just brought that energy on stage.

00:11:50.000 Like, he thought it was over.

00:11:51.000 He thought, I don't have a career.

00:11:53.000 I'm probably going back to prison.

00:11:55.000 I just got out of prison.

00:11:57.000 Like, when I met Joey, he was not out of prison very long.

00:12:00.000 No.

00:12:01.000 I mean, yeah, when did he come to LA? 96?

00:12:05.000 7?

00:12:05.000 5?

00:12:06.000 Somewhere around that, yeah.

00:12:08.000 I know I was on news radio, because Joey would come visit me on the set, and they would be like, who's this fucking criminal that's eating all the shrimp?

00:12:16.000 Leave him alone.

00:12:17.000 He was going to the VIP, because the VIPs had their own separate green room, and they actually could watch the performance from the green room, I think, at one of the sets.

00:12:27.000 So anyway, they had really good food, because it was network executives.

00:12:31.000 Of course.

00:12:32.000 So they had shrimp cocktail.

00:12:33.000 When Hollywood was alive?

00:12:35.000 You got Joey Diaz, this fucking savage.

00:12:40.000 Joey was built like a football player back then too.

00:12:44.000 Joey wasn't like big belly Joey.

00:12:47.000 Joey was like 235, 240 pounds, jacked, big Cuban dude.

00:12:52.000 He was kind of street, kind of sketchy, a little scary.

00:12:55.000 You know, like high energy, 35-year-old Joey.

00:12:59.000 And so they were like, who the fuck is this guy?

00:13:02.000 That's so funny.

00:13:03.000 That's a great image, though.

00:13:04.000 It just took...

00:13:05.000 Something happened to Joey.

00:13:07.000 It was right around the time when he got big, too.

00:13:09.000 Where his belly got big.

00:13:11.000 It's just like he just didn't give a fuck about anything anymore.

00:13:15.000 And he figured out a way to just be that guy who he was in the parking lot on stage.

00:13:20.000 And he did it like that.

00:13:22.000 He did it like that.

00:13:24.000 Theo Vaughn did it like that.

00:13:25.000 Theo Vaughn.

00:13:26.000 I remember that.

00:13:26.000 Did it like that.

00:13:27.000 Now I remember his...

00:13:28.000 I remember his break, for sure.

00:13:30.000 In the beginning, it was like, God, this guy's funny, but it's so weird.

00:13:34.000 The act is weird.

00:13:35.000 He seems awkward, but interesting.

00:13:39.000 He was trying to please too many people or something.

00:13:42.000 Or trying to be something he wasn't.

00:13:44.000 And then once he started being himself...

00:13:46.000 Yeah.

00:13:46.000 Unbelievable.

00:13:47.000 It was just finding that authenticity, you know, and that's like exactly what we're talking about with like these hosts in New York when they do all these sets.

00:13:57.000 If you can get a job hosting, I know it doesn't pay anything and you're committed to it all night long.

00:14:02.000 Like if you're a comic, you could definitely make more money on the road.

00:14:05.000 Sure.

00:14:05.000 But there's something to that in terms of training sessions.

00:14:10.000 Yeah.

00:14:11.000 First of all, you have to start the show, which is death.

00:14:14.000 The worst.

00:14:14.000 Death.

00:14:15.000 I always tell those guys at the mothership, for the first five minutes, you're doing a job.

00:14:20.000 Yep.

00:14:21.000 A real job.

00:14:22.000 A real job.

00:14:22.000 For the first five minutes, you're massaging people's feet.

00:14:27.000 You're washing hair.

00:14:29.000 You're fucking polishing people's nails.

00:14:31.000 You're doing a job.

00:14:33.000 You feel good?

00:14:33.000 It's not as simple as you just doing your act.

00:14:36.000 You've got to get the audience hypnotized.

00:14:39.000 You've got to get them hypnotized to laugh.

00:14:41.000 When I open for Dice, that's how it is.

00:14:44.000 It's a cold, you just go out there.

00:14:46.000 Sometimes people are like, are you going to introduce yourself?

00:14:49.000 I'm like, what kind of assholes?

00:14:50.000 Carolyn was at the Irvine Improv once, and I opened for him, just for fun.

00:14:55.000 Just cold open.

00:14:56.000 Just went out there and opened for him.

00:14:58.000 It was fun.

00:14:59.000 It was a good time.

00:15:00.000 It was fun.

00:15:01.000 But it was like, whoa, we're jumping right into this.

00:15:04.000 It's a little easier because they were happy to see me.

00:15:06.000 But if it was not that sort of situation, you're unknown, and you're not the person that people came to see, they're like, all right, what do we got here?

00:15:17.000 And if you're a Chick.

00:15:18.000 Oh, forget it.

00:15:20.000 I've always said this, and I think this needs to be recognized.

00:15:23.000 Women are limited in the way the audience is willing to perceive them right off the bat.

00:15:29.000 You have to break through boundaries in order for them to take you even remotely seriously.

00:15:37.000 If a man starts off at zero, a woman goes on stage, she starts off at negative three.

00:15:42.000 Minimum.

00:15:43.000 Immediately.

00:15:44.000 If a guy sees a girl go on stage, how many guys like your brother?

00:15:47.000 If he sees a girl walk on stage, they're like, ugh.

00:15:52.000 With Dice, they look at me when I come out, they're like, is this a sacrifice?

00:15:56.000 Who's this?

00:15:58.000 But now they know me.

00:15:59.000 But once you're proven, they're like, oh, okay.

00:16:03.000 Cool.

00:16:04.000 But it's a harder gig.

00:16:05.000 Absolutely.

00:16:06.000 It's a harder gig for a woman.

00:16:07.000 And then women have these two other boundaries.

00:16:10.000 If you talk about sex, then people think you're a slut and they disrespect you, right?

00:16:17.000 Or like...

00:16:19.000 You can talk about how men suck.

00:16:21.000 You can talk about a few things.

00:16:23.000 You can't talk about politics.

00:16:24.000 You start talking about politics to a bunch of men, like, shut the fuck up.

00:16:27.000 I got opinions, too.

00:16:28.000 They'll just start yelling at you.

00:16:31.000 Bullshit!

00:16:32.000 That's fucking Russia collusion in the Steele dossier!

00:16:36.000 They'll start yelling at you, like, facts and things.

00:16:38.000 You can't talk politics.

00:16:40.000 It goes back to the 50s.

00:16:41.000 Like, who are you?

00:16:42.000 Why are you speaking?

00:16:43.000 What is wrong with you?

00:16:44.000 If you're a guy, you can do political humor.

00:16:47.000 There's not a lot of female political satirists.

00:16:53.000 Like think of all the Mark Sauls and the Lenny Bruces.

00:16:57.000 He goes back to the 60s.

00:16:59.000 How many women would you put in the political satirist category?

00:17:04.000 Right.

00:17:04.000 I mean, now Roseanne.

00:17:06.000 Roseanne.

00:17:07.000 Roseanne was kind of like forced into that.

00:17:10.000 They forced her into that.

00:17:13.000 True.

00:17:14.000 Well, it's political in that we talk about abortion and stuff like that.

00:17:20.000 Actually, I shouldn't say she was forced into that, because that was one of the issues that they had with her when she was on that show, is that she loved Trump.

00:17:25.000 Right, she got fired for it.

00:17:27.000 She got fired for her opinion.

00:17:29.000 She got fired because she was ambient up in the middle of the night.

00:17:33.000 She made some tweets about the lady from the government that looks like the lady from the Planet of the Apes.

00:17:41.000 And she didn't know that that lady was black.

00:17:43.000 She thought that lady was Jewish.

00:17:44.000 And she talks about it on stage.

00:17:45.000 She's like, I thought that bitch was Jewish.

00:17:47.000 And if you look at her, you get it.

00:17:49.000 She's very light-skinned and she has straight hair.

00:17:55.000 The joke that she was making, the only reason why she could make that joke is because it kind of works.

00:18:00.000 Right.

00:18:00.000 Like, you know.

00:18:01.000 It's pretty accurate.

00:18:02.000 Right, but it's not...

00:18:03.000 She was just an old lady who has mental health issues, who's on Ambien and a host of other drugs, and people wanted to ruin her life for something she didn't even fucking remember doing.

00:18:13.000 That's the crazy part.

00:18:15.000 Bro, they dope people up with all...

00:18:19.000 And then they make you responsible for what you did when you're on that wild shit?

00:18:23.000 That seems so crazy.

00:18:24.000 Ambien's the fucking scariest to me.

00:18:27.000 Kevin James made a turkey.

00:18:29.000 I think it was a turkey.

00:18:31.000 He made a meal and then woke up in the morning, saw the plate of food, was like, what the fuck?

00:18:37.000 He thought someone broke into his house and cooked.

00:18:40.000 We didn't remember anything.

00:18:42.000 I was living with Dice when he was on Ambien.

00:18:45.000 It was brutal.

00:18:46.000 He would move the car in the middle of the night.

00:18:49.000 In the middle of the night.

00:18:49.000 We thought it got stolen one time, and here he parked it in front of somebody's driveway, so they towed it.

00:18:55.000 But he moved the fucking car.

00:18:58.000 I'm like, dude, he would wake me up as these characters.

00:19:02.000 He was...

00:19:06.000 Listen, it's enough to live with Dice.

00:19:08.000 I don't need extra characters.

00:19:11.000 He would do this black guy.

00:19:13.000 I forgot his name.

00:19:14.000 He would do this military guy.

00:19:16.000 It's always, hey, wake up!

00:19:18.000 And I'm like, ah, like my father's back.

00:19:21.000 What?

00:19:21.000 You know, like crazy.

00:19:23.000 That is so funny.

00:19:23.000 Oh yeah.

00:19:24.000 That's so funny.

00:19:25.000 He would do some crazy shit.

00:19:26.000 So I believe Kevin's doing that.

00:19:28.000 Andrew would eat wild stuff.

00:19:29.000 Oh yeah.

00:19:29.000 Yeah, people do that.

00:19:31.000 There's people that have been in, like, shootouts with the cops.

00:19:33.000 He got off it.

00:19:35.000 Thank God.

00:19:35.000 Is Kevin off it?

00:19:36.000 I hope.

00:19:37.000 I do not know.

00:19:40.000 Wasn't there someone who, like, drove to his in-law's house and killed them with a crowbar?

00:19:49.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:19:50.000 Like, something crazy.

00:19:52.000 That's...

00:19:53.000 Some guy did something crazy on Ambien.

00:19:56.000 That's ambient and anger mixed together.

00:19:58.000 The thing is, you could take a person who's not that smart and maybe has a real problem with their in-laws.

00:20:05.000 Maybe the father and him have even gone to blows.

00:20:09.000 That shit happens.

00:20:10.000 You get a picnic, too many Bud Lights.

00:20:12.000 Next thing you know, dudes are duking it out.

00:20:15.000 Sleepwalker acquitted of murdering mother-in-law after a 15-mile drive.

00:20:20.000 Wow.

00:20:21.000 What?

00:20:23.000 What the fuck, dude?

00:20:24.000 Look how we're so ghetto, we can't even look through the LA Times.

00:20:31.000 They're nickel and diming everybody.

00:20:34.000 You have to pay for everything.

00:20:38.000 A Toronto man was acquitted of murdering.

00:20:41.000 Oh, it's Canada.

00:20:42.000 It's Canada.

00:20:43.000 It's Toronto.

00:20:44.000 They live in Narnia up there.

00:20:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:46.000 A man was acquitted of murdering his mother-in-law after saying he was sleepwalking when he drove 15 miles to her house and hit her with an iron bar and repeatedly stabbed her.

00:20:56.000 Ontario Supreme Court deliberated nine hours before finding Kenneth Parks nearby Pickering not guilty on Thursday.

00:21:04.000 What about the Ambien though?

00:21:06.000 More.

00:21:06.000 They try to hit you again.

00:21:07.000 Is that what he was drinking?

00:21:08.000 Joko, whatever that is?

00:21:09.000 Does it say Ambien or does it say just sleepwalking?

00:21:11.000 It just said sleepwalking, right?

00:21:13.000 Because he's in a sleep state.

00:21:16.000 My nephew's a sleepwalker.

00:21:18.000 But was this guy on Ambien?

00:21:20.000 Does it have anything to do with Ambien or is it a different story?

00:21:22.000 Well, that's what I typed in and that's what popped up.

00:21:24.000 Let me see if another story.

00:21:25.000 Yeah, there was something about a guy...

00:21:29.000 That's so crazy, though.

00:21:30.000 Who drove...

00:21:31.000 Maybe I fucked the story up.

00:21:33.000 It seems like that's pretty similar.

00:21:35.000 That's so similar, it seems like I might have fucked the story up.

00:21:38.000 But also...

00:21:38.000 This happened in 1987, so I don't...

00:21:40.000 Was Ambien even around?

00:21:41.000 Oh, wow.

00:21:42.000 No, this is not that story then.

00:21:44.000 It's definitely a more recent story.

00:21:46.000 87?

00:21:47.000 Yeah, because this is a story while I was a grod-ass man.

00:21:51.000 Living in Los Angeles, it happened, I remember.

00:21:53.000 I don't remember what I thought had happened in America.

00:21:56.000 No, it might have been Canada.

00:21:58.000 Canada is silly.

00:22:00.000 They are silly.

00:22:03.000 It's like if you let your cousin, who's like 17, run the house while you go out of town for a week, and then you come back home, you're like, what the fuck are you doing?

00:22:13.000 What?

00:22:14.000 That's Canada.

00:22:15.000 What?

00:22:17.000 Oh, shit.

00:22:17.000 Local cases involving man who shot at five people, tests Ambien defense in court.

00:22:23.000 That's a recent one, huh?

00:22:24.000 That's 2023. Oh, shit.

00:22:26.000 So what is this guy trying to say?

00:22:29.000 He shot at five people while he was on Ambien.

00:22:32.000 Oh, wow.

00:22:32.000 He said, no memory of the shooting two random cars in the middle of the night four years ago.

00:22:37.000 He's probably telling the truth.

00:22:38.000 And I know Roseanne is telling the truth.

00:22:40.000 I know she's telling the truth.

00:22:42.000 Yeah.

00:22:42.000 She was on Ambien and she was smoking weed.

00:22:45.000 I don't know if she was drinking alcohol, but listen, Roseanne likes to party.

00:22:50.000 But also, you get like...

00:22:52.000 She likes to party.

00:22:54.000 She's drinking and doing it.

00:22:55.000 That's a real dangerous combo.

00:22:58.000 And look, everybody should understand this.

00:23:01.000 Because you kind of know, but you really need to know.

00:23:04.000 And I talked to...

00:23:05.000 There's one of the reasons why I had Roseanne on my podcast right after she got in trouble.

00:23:10.000 I wanted everybody to know what I know.

00:23:12.000 Roseanne got hit by a car.

00:23:14.000 Yes.

00:23:14.000 When she was 15 years old and she spent nine months in a mental health institute when she was a child.

00:23:20.000 She couldn't count after that.

00:23:22.000 She had straight A's in math.

00:23:24.000 After that, she couldn't do math.

00:23:26.000 Wow.

00:23:27.000 She was fucked up.

00:23:29.000 And that wild impulsiveness led to an amazing career as a stand-up comedian that probably came, at least somewhat, some part of it came, obviously came out of her creativity and her performing and her work ethic and all the good things that are...

00:23:45.000 She's funny.

00:23:46.000 She's awesome.

00:23:47.000 But that wildness...

00:23:50.000 Yeah.

00:24:06.000 Ambien.

00:24:07.000 And then marijuana.

00:24:09.000 And then who knows what the fuck.

00:24:11.000 You're taking ketamine.

00:24:14.000 Fox News!

00:24:16.000 She's just mainlining Fox News.

00:24:19.000 She's just fucking Tower 7!

00:24:22.000 Tower 7!

00:24:23.000 She's just taking it.

00:24:24.000 You have a device that you can tell everybody what you're feeling in that moment.

00:24:28.000 That's crazy.

00:24:29.000 And you're, you know, it's like You're trying to get responses out of people.

00:24:36.000 See what the people think.

00:24:37.000 It's almost like testing an audience for some people.

00:24:39.000 And if they don't understand how to manage it psychologically, how many comics have we seen just get addicted to being on Twitter all day?

00:24:46.000 Get out of there, man.

00:24:48.000 You're losing your life in that box.

00:24:50.000 It's insane.

00:24:51.000 It's insane!

00:24:52.000 I don't know how people do it.

00:24:53.000 It's so bad for you.

00:24:55.000 I'm a little addicted to TikTok.

00:24:57.000 Yeah, TikTok...

00:24:58.000 Is this an intervention?

00:25:00.000 No, it's not.

00:25:01.000 Just kidding.

00:25:01.000 But I think, I wonder if TikTok is, I wonder if it's better for you to just scroll at videos of things happening that are nonsense.

00:25:10.000 Sometimes there's news, but...

00:25:12.000 But maybe that's better.

00:25:13.000 Because that doesn't, like, I don't have TikTok, but I have Instagram.

00:25:16.000 And Instagram does not make me feel the way that Twitter makes me feel.

00:25:20.000 Twitter makes me feel like I'm watching a fight between cats.

00:25:24.000 Like it's a cat fight in a house.

00:25:26.000 Just...

00:25:29.000 I just want to get the fuck out of here.

00:25:30.000 I don't want to be a part of this.

00:25:32.000 And it's also like a very poor, it's a very clearly poor management of time and resources.

00:25:40.000 If you're using your time and resources to argue constantly on Twitter, But your life has to be a mess.

00:25:47.000 It has to be a mess.

00:25:49.000 It's impossible for you to only be disciplined in this area where you contain yourself in this area.

00:25:56.000 The rest of your life, though, everything's locked down.

00:25:59.000 You don't have any problems.

00:26:00.000 But when you go after Twitter, it doesn't affect you.

00:26:03.000 It doesn't affect the rest of your life.

00:26:05.000 Bullshit!

00:26:06.000 Bullshit!

00:26:06.000 You're fighting with the invisible man, but that stuff is out there forever.

00:26:11.000 It's out there forever, and it's 100% proof that you are engaging in a foolish waste of your resources.

00:26:19.000 Exactly.

00:26:20.000 100% undeniable proof.

00:26:23.000 Dice would have been in as much trouble as Roseanne if Twitter was...

00:26:26.000 It might have been a thing, but he probably didn't know how to use it.

00:26:31.000 It's been 20 years.

00:26:32.000 How long has Twitter been out?

00:26:33.000 He'd been in so many controversies.

00:26:35.000 But I'm saying with the ambient...

00:26:37.000 Maybe, yeah.

00:26:39.000 Roseanne was like America's blue-collar sweetheart for the longest time when she was on TV. Yeah.

00:26:45.000 Right?

00:26:45.000 She was beloved.

00:26:46.000 And then she grabbed her pussy.

00:26:48.000 I was going to say, she did some shit.

00:26:49.000 The national anthem.

00:26:50.000 Who knows what she was on back then?

00:26:52.000 Right, right, right, right.

00:26:53.000 Listen, this lady, they've been medicating this lady left and right her whole life.

00:26:59.000 And she's always like, I don't know if they got the formula right this time.

00:27:05.000 Let's move it around a little.

00:27:06.000 She's still working it.

00:27:07.000 She's so good.

00:27:08.000 She's got a lot of money, and I'm sure those doctors are helping out.

00:27:13.000 But you know, they were telling her at one point in time that they were threatening her royalties.

00:27:18.000 If she kept talking about things...

00:27:21.000 How is that possible?

00:27:22.000 It's her show.

00:27:23.000 Yeah, but they can do things.

00:27:25.000 They can pull deals.

00:27:27.000 See, like, if you're not making any money anymore, but you own a piece of a television show...

00:27:31.000 And also, we're dealing with...

00:27:33.000 It's 2024. I'm not in the TV business anymore, but...

00:27:36.000 Kind of know how it works.

00:27:38.000 In 2024, I don't know how many people are buying old sitcoms.

00:27:43.000 I'm sure like Netflix and streaming sites, maybe they could use.

00:27:47.000 But if they just decide, you know, hey, we don't want Roseanne on the platform, like there's shows you can't get.

00:27:53.000 Yeah.

00:27:54.000 Like 90s sitcoms.

00:27:55.000 You can't find Grace Under Fire.

00:27:57.000 Try finding that show.

00:27:58.000 No, and I loved that.

00:27:59.000 I loved her, I should say.

00:28:01.000 She used to work at the store.

00:28:02.000 Yeah.

00:28:02.000 She was wild, but she was funny.

00:28:04.000 I think towards the end of her tenure there, she might have fucking lost the plot.

00:28:09.000 She got...

00:28:09.000 I remember her showing up.

00:28:11.000 She was crazy.

00:28:12.000 I heard she's got a little nuts.

00:28:15.000 And she had substance problems.

00:28:17.000 But she was so fucking funny.

00:28:17.000 Yeah, you could tell.

00:28:18.000 She's a very funny comic, too.

00:28:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:19.000 Back in the day.

00:28:20.000 She would call and ask me to do her, like, bizarro favors at the store.

00:28:25.000 Favors?

00:28:25.000 Like what?

00:28:26.000 Yeah, like, just to see if certain comics were there.

00:28:28.000 Go call my cat.

00:28:29.000 She would have, like, crushes on certain comics.

00:28:32.000 So she's like, hey, so call me if they come in.

00:28:34.000 I'm like, all right.

00:28:35.000 But I was like, are you coming in?

00:28:37.000 Because you're, like, hilarious.

00:28:38.000 You're one of the ones I laugh at.

00:28:39.000 So are you coming in?

00:28:41.000 That's hilarious.

00:28:42.000 But then she just stopped coming.

00:28:44.000 But I think she did have some...

00:28:46.000 But there's a thing called TV Land, which goes way back, I believe.

00:28:50.000 Because I have, like, nieces and nephews that are like, did you ever see?

00:28:53.000 I love Lucy.

00:28:53.000 I'm like...

00:28:54.000 Yeah, and reruns.

00:28:55.000 And I'm like, it's my favorite show.

00:28:57.000 But they watch it now on TV Land.

00:29:00.000 Is TV Land...

00:29:01.000 I think it's a channel?

00:29:03.000 Or it could be on an app?

00:29:04.000 I don't know.

00:29:05.000 I can't keep up with the kids.

00:29:07.000 Maybe it's both.

00:29:07.000 I still have cable.

00:29:08.000 It's why I don't own a house.

00:29:10.000 It's very expensive.

00:29:11.000 Most things have to be both now.

00:29:13.000 You can't just be a channel anymore.

00:29:15.000 You kind of have to be a channel and an app.

00:29:16.000 Yeah, I think you're right.

00:29:17.000 If you're just a channel...

00:29:18.000 Or they've merged with the apps.

00:29:20.000 Yeah.

00:29:21.000 Yeah, so yeah, my nieces watch the oldest shows and you know, I don't see like nobody comes up and says like the Bunker, what's that called?

00:29:30.000 Archie, All in the Family.

00:29:31.000 All in the Family, that's my favorite, but people don't say that one to me, so I wonder if that's available.

00:29:36.000 It's definitely available because people send me little videos like Instagram videos of Archie Bunker.

00:29:42.000 You see them on TikTok.

00:29:44.000 I don't use that Chinese spyware.

00:29:45.000 I prefer my spyware to be American.

00:29:48.000 I want people in this country sneaking around in my data and finding out what I'm researching.

00:29:56.000 I'm so lonely, I want them all to know where I'm at at every moment.

00:30:00.000 Does India have an app?

00:30:01.000 Let's go.

00:30:02.000 Bring it on, bitches!

00:30:04.000 Yeah, it's just weird.

00:30:05.000 It's TikTok.

00:30:07.000 My nieces were like, you have to get on TikTok.

00:30:09.000 So I did, but I stink at it.

00:30:11.000 I don't know how to excel at it.

00:30:13.000 I do watch the videos, though.

00:30:15.000 Well, you've got to be trans, first of all.

00:30:17.000 Hey!

00:30:18.000 Can you at least fake it?

00:30:20.000 No, it's not fair.

00:30:20.000 I wanted to transition when I was a kid and my mom wouldn't let me.

00:30:24.000 I begged.

00:30:25.000 I think I was like seven or eight.

00:30:26.000 I wanted to be a male bodybuilder.

00:30:28.000 Really?

00:30:29.000 And my mom was like...

00:30:30.000 Imagine if that was around today and you lived in Santa Monica.

00:30:32.000 Oh, I would be halfway somewhere, at least, if I was a kid now.

00:30:35.000 Yeah, I'd have one nut, maybe.

00:30:37.000 Half a tit.

00:30:38.000 We'll see.

00:30:39.000 But I'm saying, like, I begged.

00:30:41.000 I told my mom I took a picture out of a male bodybuilder's magazine.

00:30:46.000 I ripped it out, and I was like, this is what I want.

00:30:49.000 And my mom was like, the guy?

00:30:52.000 I was like, no, I want to be a male bodybuilder.

00:30:55.000 I didn't know transition.

00:30:56.000 I just said I want to be a boy.

00:30:58.000 And she was so mad because she had four boys in a row and she begged for a little girl.

00:31:03.000 And then I came out and I'm like, what's up, motherfucker?

00:31:06.000 How much that you what's up motherfuckers was affected by the fact that you have all those brothers?

00:31:12.000 Sure, just surrounded.

00:31:12.000 I didn't know any difference.

00:31:13.000 It has to be, right?

00:31:14.000 Yeah, of course.

00:31:15.000 Because my little sister Edie, she's not girly by any means, but she's not as butchy as I was.

00:31:23.000 But she still played the sports and stuff and fought, whatever.

00:31:27.000 But we were just surrounded.

00:31:30.000 The two of us, if we had dolls, they'd rip their heads off.

00:31:34.000 So I'd be like, oh cool, it looks better.

00:31:36.000 And then we'd color it in and just do dumb shit.

00:31:39.000 I don't remember girly stuff.

00:31:41.000 I know my mom would beg me to do it or wear a dress and then I played rumble fumble in my communion dress.

00:31:48.000 She was pissed.

00:31:49.000 Well, just the amount of boy behavior and you're trying to fit in and you're the youngest.

00:31:54.000 Yeah.

00:31:56.000 Well, not the youngest.

00:31:57.000 Well, at the time.

00:31:58.000 Yeah.

00:31:58.000 And then I remember this boy saying to me, because I liked boys, but I was very boy-like.

00:32:04.000 How many older brothers do you have?

00:32:05.000 I have five older brothers.

00:32:07.000 Okay.

00:32:07.000 So when you were born, you're born into a home with five boys.

00:32:12.000 Surrounded.

00:32:13.000 So that's the early developmental time where you're kind of like forming your view of the world.

00:32:20.000 You have no evidence that girls are even real for years.

00:32:25.000 My sisters didn't talk to me.

00:32:27.000 Why am I not like these?

00:32:29.000 I did.

00:32:30.000 I had to share a room with my sisters.

00:32:32.000 And my mom put this big, like, canopy bed in there.

00:32:35.000 And it's a little tiny row home.

00:32:37.000 And the middle room is like a glorified closet.

00:32:40.000 And so she put this canopy bed in there.

00:32:42.000 You could barely open the door.

00:32:43.000 And then when I slept in there, I wet the bed for a long time.

00:32:45.000 So they kicked me out.

00:32:47.000 So I had to sleep in my brother's room.

00:32:50.000 So there were seven of us in the front room.

00:32:52.000 I don't know why I'm pointing like it's over there.

00:32:54.000 But you know what I'm saying?

00:32:55.000 So I was now in the room with that.

00:32:57.000 And that's all I know.

00:32:58.000 That's it.

00:32:59.000 So I'm doing everything they do.

00:33:02.000 I'm playing football.

00:33:03.000 I'm outside with a helmet.

00:33:06.000 Is she slow?

00:33:07.000 No, she's got a game.

00:33:09.000 You know what I mean?

00:33:10.000 I was joking.

00:33:12.000 I did the Are You Garbage podcast with those guys.

00:33:15.000 They're so funny.

00:33:15.000 And I remembered a story because they were asking questions.

00:33:18.000 And I remembered when I would play handball or stickball, I'd take my shirt off and tuck it in the back of my pants.

00:33:25.000 And spit and everything.

00:33:26.000 Like, no shirt!

00:33:27.000 And my mother saw me, Jesus Christ!

00:33:30.000 But I was eight or something.

00:33:32.000 I don't know.

00:33:33.000 But I was like, that's what they do.

00:33:36.000 Isn't it funny that a woman's nipples mean something?

00:33:41.000 Why?

00:33:42.000 Yeah.

00:33:42.000 It's funny.

00:33:44.000 I mean, it's so odd.

00:33:46.000 Because even a woman that has the smallest of breasts, her nipples are like...

00:33:53.000 You can see them.

00:33:55.000 Like, it literally is the same form as a young boy.

00:34:00.000 Like, if you have a 13-year-old boy and a very thin woman who has no breasts.

00:34:04.000 Yeah.

00:34:05.000 They're very similar.

00:34:06.000 Yeah.

00:34:07.000 But one of them, when you realize it's a woman, you're like...

00:34:11.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:34:11.000 It is weird.

00:34:12.000 You're essentially literally looking at the same organ, the same part of the body.

00:34:17.000 It's not like you're looking at a vagina or a dick.

00:34:21.000 Yeah, those are significantly different.

00:34:23.000 You're just looking at nipples.

00:34:25.000 Female nipples make you go...

00:34:28.000 Because there's a slight drop behind it?

00:34:30.000 I don't know.

00:34:30.000 Have you seen the hack these hoes have found how to do on Instagram?

00:34:33.000 What?

00:34:34.000 They breastfeed fake babies.

00:34:37.000 You can breastfeed.

00:34:38.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:34:39.000 Time out.

00:34:39.000 What are you saying?

00:34:40.000 They got a rubber baby and these hotties are pulling out giant melons and they shake them in front of the audience and squeeze them and then they stuff them in the face of a fake baby.

00:34:50.000 And this one girl, she's got her other tit out too.

00:34:53.000 Like, fuck it.

00:34:53.000 What if he gets hungry on the other side?

00:34:55.000 So she's got both tits out.

00:34:56.000 And it's a fake baby?

00:34:57.000 Fake tits, too.

00:34:59.000 Big, giant-ass fake tits and fake baby.

00:35:02.000 You're allowed to do it because you're allowed to show breastfeeding for educational purposes.

00:35:06.000 Oh, so this is how I'm going to get more followers.

00:35:09.000 You just gave me the insight.

00:35:11.000 These hoes are scandalous.

00:35:13.000 Check out my new TikTok.

00:35:15.000 They know.

00:35:16.000 Wow.

00:35:17.000 I don't know if it's a TikTok thing.

00:35:18.000 I bet it'll probably get you kicked off TikTok.

00:35:21.000 Here they go.

00:35:22.000 Oh, look at the baby.

00:35:22.000 Look at this.

00:35:23.000 Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

00:35:25.000 That fake baby and big ass fake today.

00:35:27.000 There's a lot of fake things on there.

00:35:28.000 What a filter, by the way.

00:35:30.000 This one's not a lot of attention, but...

00:35:32.000 That's the one I'd watch with the football player, like an idiot.

00:35:35.000 There's quite a few of these going around.

00:35:39.000 Wow.

00:35:39.000 That's a shitty fake baby.

00:35:42.000 That's a dead baby.

00:35:44.000 That's a doll.

00:35:45.000 Your baby's dead.

00:35:46.000 Your milk is poisonous, lady.

00:35:48.000 There's some people that get really good fake babies.

00:35:51.000 You have to look at the baby real quick.

00:35:52.000 I think that's a rubber baby.

00:35:54.000 So they're just getting away with showing their tits.

00:35:56.000 I think, essentially, it's an ad for OnlyFans.

00:36:00.000 I was going to say, yeah.

00:36:01.000 Oh, God.

00:36:03.000 So that's somebody's fetish.

00:36:06.000 Yeah.

00:36:06.000 Well, it's just the fact that they get to show their tit.

00:36:09.000 I don't even think it's someone's fetish.

00:36:11.000 It's probably definitely someone's fetish.

00:36:12.000 I mean, let's be clear.

00:36:13.000 Yeah.

00:36:14.000 Out of all the freaks in the world, there's some guys out there jerking off to women breastfeeding, for sure.

00:36:20.000 But it's not that.

00:36:21.000 It's just an opportunity to show your tits.

00:36:24.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:36:25.000 But now my boobs are starting to grow.

00:36:28.000 I don't know why.

00:36:29.000 How?

00:36:29.000 Late in life.

00:36:30.000 I don't know if it's hormonal.

00:36:32.000 I don't know.

00:36:32.000 But for years, nothing.

00:36:35.000 And now all of a sudden I'm like, this doesn't fit.

00:36:37.000 What's happening?

00:36:37.000 So I'm going to start.

00:36:39.000 These guys just came in.

00:36:40.000 I didn't even know I was a girl.

00:36:42.000 Let them go.

00:36:44.000 Free the nipple.

00:36:45.000 Isn't that a thing in New York City where they were, like, legally arguing that women should be able to walk around topless because men can walk around topless?

00:36:54.000 Yeah.

00:36:55.000 I saw a protest in Asheville one time, and I was having lunch with Carl LaBeouf.

00:36:59.000 We were doing a festival down there, and it was packed.

00:37:03.000 We were both, like...

00:37:05.000 I'm not gay, but watching them flap while you're walking, I was like, oh, wow, that's what they're supposed to look like?

00:37:11.000 And then Carl's just on the floor like, holy shit, I'm going to move here.

00:37:15.000 Isn't it interesting that that's controversial?

00:37:17.000 That there's laws that will tell you...

00:37:22.000 Look, if there's laws about a man exposing himself in public, that makes sense because that's like a public health danger.

00:37:29.000 And it's danger because the vast majority of like sexual predators, especially for like younger people, are men, right?

00:37:38.000 Yeah.

00:37:39.000 So a guy with his dick out in public is like a public safety hazard.

00:37:42.000 Yeah.

00:37:44.000 Is really, no one's scared.

00:37:46.000 But it's because of the predators, probably.

00:37:49.000 They're trying to keep them off?

00:37:50.000 That's my point.

00:37:51.000 That's my point.

00:37:51.000 It's like, it's the only time where a law is in that, where you don't have any fear whatsoever about that person harming someone with their body, but yet you make their body a crime.

00:38:06.000 Right.

00:38:07.000 You make showing parts of their body of crime.

00:38:08.000 Like, you can get a ticket or you can get...

00:38:10.000 Right.

00:38:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:10.000 I think they could probably even arrest you for public nudity.

00:38:13.000 Indecent.

00:38:13.000 Indecent exposure.

00:38:14.000 Yeah.

00:38:14.000 But meanwhile, I could walk right next to that lady with my shirt off and there's no problems at all.

00:38:19.000 But didn't...

00:38:20.000 Before, I think the men got the right to take their shirt off.

00:38:23.000 Wasn't until, like, the 50s or 40s.

00:38:25.000 For a long time, they weren't allowed to either.

00:38:26.000 Is that real?

00:38:27.000 I believe so.

00:38:28.000 That's hilarious.

00:38:29.000 Yeah.

00:38:29.000 So what would they do on construction sites?

00:38:32.000 What, they just arrest everybody?

00:38:33.000 What do you mean?

00:38:34.000 They can't be shirtless at a construction shop.

00:38:36.000 That's a job.

00:38:37.000 You can't be shirtless.

00:38:38.000 They only were shirtless when they were having lunch, maybe.

00:38:41.000 Have you ever worked a construction site?

00:38:43.000 Are you out of your fucking mind?

00:38:44.000 Wait a minute.

00:38:45.000 Are you talking crazy?

00:38:47.000 I'm seeing them in the vest and the shirt.

00:38:48.000 Maybe today.

00:38:49.000 Because I'd sit there and watch for a long time if that was true.

00:38:53.000 If we were working outside, I did mostly construction jobs when I was in high school.

00:38:58.000 Okay.

00:38:59.000 My stepfather was an architect, so I got a lot of jobs on building sites.

00:39:03.000 And so I'd just get jobs as a laborer.

00:39:05.000 It was a good job to get because you could always get them and it's hard work.

00:39:09.000 You would be outside topless constantly.

00:39:11.000 Ninety-one, court let's stand law bearing topless men.

00:39:15.000 Supreme Court Monday let's stand a local ordinance prohibiting, this is in Washington, prohibiting males from jogging topless or otherwise appearing in public without wearing shirts.

00:39:26.000 The court refused to review the constitutionality of a statute from the village of Southampton, New York, making it illegal for anyone to appear on a public street shirtless.

00:39:34.000 That's a very specific area.

00:39:36.000 So that's like, this is Southampton, New York.

00:39:40.000 It's what they're talking about.

00:39:42.000 I know when I lived in Boston, when we were working in the summer, we always had shirts off.

00:39:47.000 You get a great tan, too.

00:39:48.000 I can see it as a roofer, of course.

00:39:49.000 Things like that, but I don't know.

00:39:51.000 I'm just picturing maybe people...

00:39:53.000 It's fucking hot.

00:39:53.000 Of course.

00:39:54.000 It's crazy hot.

00:39:55.000 It's hot.

00:39:55.000 You're carrying lumber, and the building that you're building has no ventilation.

00:40:00.000 It has nothing.

00:40:01.000 It's just frames.

00:40:02.000 You're basically helping carpenters frame things.

00:40:04.000 Sure.

00:40:05.000 In my head, I'm seeing them right now with the vest on, but maybe that's just my fantasy.

00:40:10.000 The summertime no shirt is easy.

00:40:13.000 The hard one is wintertime no heat.

00:40:17.000 Because I had wintertime no heat gigs.

00:40:19.000 Whoa, those were rough.

00:40:21.000 Especially in Boston.

00:40:22.000 Yeah, I had some of those right after I graduated from high school.

00:40:25.000 They were a wake-up call.

00:40:28.000 It was like, hey, fuckface, you've got to figure out what you want to do with your life, or this is going to be you forever.

00:40:34.000 Being in the winter with numb feet, moving shit around on a construction site.

00:40:40.000 Mm-mm.

00:40:41.000 Fingers being frozen?

00:40:42.000 I hate that.

00:40:43.000 And they would have like a little public portable heater that we would all gather around to eat lunch.

00:40:49.000 So you'd all stand around this blowtorch while you're eating lunch.

00:40:52.000 Oh my god, so dangerous but amazing.

00:40:54.000 It wasn't really a blowtorch.

00:40:56.000 It's like...

00:40:57.000 You ever seen one of those?

00:40:58.000 Like, they have them on set sometimes.

00:40:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:00.000 They're hot.

00:41:00.000 Chappelle and I did Fear Factor.

00:41:04.000 I did Fear Factor on the Chappelle show.

00:41:07.000 So I came in and Tyrone Biggums was on Fear Factor.

00:41:10.000 Hey, Joe Rogan.

00:41:11.000 I remember.

00:41:11.000 They filmed that in the dead of winter in New York in this warehouse, like this space, whatever they were filming at.

00:41:18.000 And they had one of them heaters.

00:41:19.000 So they would have them on set sometimes.

00:41:21.000 Got it.

00:41:22.000 It's a tube.

00:41:23.000 And it gets hot.

00:41:24.000 You basically can cook a grilled cheese sandwich in front of it.

00:41:27.000 Oh yeah!

00:41:28.000 You can light on fire.

00:41:29.000 Very dangerous.

00:41:31.000 So we would gather around in front of one of those fucking things.

00:41:33.000 And just be like...

00:41:35.000 Just freezing our dicks off and then go right back out there.

00:41:38.000 You got to be carrying the cement, carrying the lumber.

00:41:41.000 That was your motivation.

00:41:42.000 Well, it was just a wake-up call.

00:41:44.000 Like, you don't want to be doing no hard labor, son.

00:41:47.000 Yeah.

00:41:47.000 But the point is, like, we could have no shirts on and walk around.

00:41:51.000 No one cared.

00:41:51.000 But if we were a bunch of gals framing rooftops with our tits out...

00:41:56.000 All the local hens.

00:41:57.000 You can wear the bra.

00:41:58.000 That's why girls now think they'll just wear a bra.

00:42:00.000 They didn't want to wear a bra.

00:42:01.000 They just wanted to let their tits out like a guy does.

00:42:04.000 All the local hens.

00:42:07.000 Put your tits on, you dirty bitch.

00:42:09.000 You fucking dirty bitch.

00:42:11.000 My husband's looking at your dirty tits.

00:42:13.000 Sometimes, like, I'll see, like, on Melrose and stuff, you see them walking around, and they have, like, these short shorts.

00:42:18.000 One time, me and Andrew were, like, just at Starbucks hanging out on Melrose in L.A., and these kids were walking by.

00:42:25.000 I mean, they were kids, and he just, like, turned away, and I go, what happened?

00:42:29.000 And it was a girl, like, her entire ass was out.

00:42:32.000 It was, the shorts were all the way out, and he just turned away, like, that's a baby.

00:42:36.000 I'm not looking at that.

00:42:37.000 Classic.

00:42:38.000 Yeah, I know.

00:42:39.000 I know, but that's what they do.

00:42:40.000 I don't know if it's a teenage thing.

00:42:43.000 Well, I mean, I think that's, again, there's always been girls that dress like that or close to that, right?

00:42:51.000 You can go way back to the 80s.

00:42:53.000 I tried.

00:42:54.000 I wore cute little hot pants in the 80s.

00:42:56.000 Did you?

00:42:56.000 Yeah, I used to wear a bustier because I started clubbing like when I was 14. Oh my god, Eleanor.

00:43:02.000 What a fucking background.

00:43:04.000 Perfect background to be a comic.

00:43:05.000 True.

00:43:06.000 Well, this is what happened with me wanting to be a boy.

00:43:09.000 I liked boys.

00:43:11.000 And this one really good-looking kid that played football, and I'm standing there.

00:43:16.000 I remember I'm wearing shoulder pads.

00:43:19.000 Idiot.

00:43:19.000 And he goes, are you ever going to be a girl?

00:43:22.000 And I was like...

00:43:23.000 Oh.

00:43:24.000 And then I asked another guy friend, I go, how come so-and-so doesn't like me?

00:43:28.000 And they're like, because he thinks you could beat him up.

00:43:32.000 Nobody's attracted to the girl who may or may not be able to knock him out.

00:43:36.000 So I stopped.

00:43:38.000 And I was like, oh.

00:43:39.000 And then boys started to like me.

00:43:40.000 And I was like, oh.

00:43:42.000 You had to learn a new pattern of behavior.

00:43:44.000 Yes.

00:43:45.000 Right.

00:43:45.000 But I still am like, watch it.

00:43:47.000 Like when guys start wearing cologne.

00:43:48.000 Right.

00:43:49.000 Like, oh, okay.

00:43:50.000 I'm going to clean up.

00:43:51.000 I stink.

00:43:51.000 Yeah.

00:43:54.000 I still am, like, not so grateful to be a woman.

00:43:58.000 Like, it bothers me a lot.

00:44:00.000 Does it?

00:44:01.000 Because I still have that in me.

00:44:03.000 That's hilarious.

00:44:03.000 It would be so much easier to just be a dude.

00:44:05.000 Do you think they could have talked you into being trans if you were, like, 12?

00:44:08.000 Absolutely.

00:44:10.000 100%.

00:44:10.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:44:11.000 And I'm good friends with Dylan Mulvaney.

00:44:13.000 We did a pilot together.

00:44:15.000 That's hilarious.

00:44:16.000 Dylan was not trans when I met them.

00:44:22.000 How do you say it?

00:44:23.000 I don't know.

00:44:24.000 Be careful.

00:44:25.000 You're going to get in trouble.

00:44:27.000 She knows I love her, so I can't say anything wrong.

00:44:29.000 So you knew her when she was a heat.

00:44:31.000 Right.

00:44:32.000 And we had the best time.

00:44:33.000 But meeting her when I did, I was like, oh, she's more woman than I ever was, ever will be.

00:44:43.000 Like, I know I have the parts.

00:44:44.000 Even with a dick.

00:44:46.000 I'm telling you, more girly than...

00:44:50.000 I mean girly, girly.

00:44:52.000 And my best friend growing up was like that.

00:44:54.000 You're a very kind person.

00:44:55.000 You're a very kind person.

00:44:57.000 Why?

00:44:57.000 And I just want to introduce this thought into your mind.

00:44:59.000 Uh-oh.

00:45:00.000 People are performative occasionally.

00:45:02.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:45:03.000 And sometimes when people want you to think of them in one way or another, they will behave that way.

00:45:10.000 And people can keep that up for...

00:45:13.000 I didn't know them from anybody.

00:45:14.000 We just met.

00:45:15.000 Right.

00:45:16.000 So you're saying she was performing...

00:45:19.000 Well, I think deciding that you're a woman and then performing like a woman is a thing that we can all do.

00:45:27.000 I see what you're saying.

00:45:28.000 And if you met me, Eleanor, if you met me, and you're like, oh my god, Joe Rogan is a woman.

00:45:34.000 Like...

00:45:35.000 Thinks like a woman, behaves like a woman, has off this woman energy, like so sweet, so amazing.

00:45:44.000 It's performative.

00:45:46.000 You're a biological man.

00:45:48.000 And there's a lot of social value in being trans today.

00:45:54.000 There's a lot of...

00:45:55.000 Oh, I agree with you on that.

00:45:56.000 You get attention for having nothing interesting about you other than the fact that you're a boy who wants to be a girl.

00:46:05.000 Right.

00:46:06.000 That's it.

00:46:07.000 And that is like a crazy low barrier to entry to be a part of a protected class and to be celebrated for people that will never be celebrated.

00:46:16.000 But you don't believe people can be born and have like mixed up things?

00:46:20.000 I do.

00:46:20.000 Okay, good.

00:46:21.000 I believe both things.

00:46:22.000 I believe both things.

00:46:24.000 I believe, yes.

00:46:24.000 This is what we have to be wary about because when you see these cluster cases, like particularly young girls, we get like 10 girls that are on the spectrum and they all go trans in the school together.

00:46:34.000 That's crazy.

00:46:36.000 And you have to realize that people are motivated just like you were when you were a young girl.

00:46:41.000 And you were dressing like a boy and acting like a boy and then you go, oh, I gotta not do that anymore.

00:46:46.000 And then now boys like me.

00:46:48.000 People are motivated by behaviors that get them positive reinforcement.

00:46:53.000 And there's this in this time in this day and age, there's immense amount of positive reinforcement.

00:47:00.000 Being a part of the LBGT pride whatever it is right and I that makes sense because it's a natural reaction to the Times when we were kids or gay people were shunned and shit on and it was up until 2013 Hillary Clinton didn't it was saying that she didn't think that Marriage should be between gay men.

00:47:25.000 It should be between a man and a woman and Barack Obama used to say that.

00:47:29.000 They all used to say it.

00:47:30.000 So imagine being a gay person back then.

00:47:33.000 And so there's like this natural overcorrection.

00:47:35.000 So we're in this overcorrection right now.

00:47:37.000 But this overcorrection gets co-opted by opportunists Who are just narcissists.

00:47:45.000 Just people with mental illness.

00:47:46.000 And people who realize that they can get a tremendous amount of attention by just fitting into this new place.

00:47:53.000 And it's also a great way for perverts and sex offenders to weasel in.

00:48:01.000 If you were a guy and you were really into dogs, you'd get a job as a dog trainer.

00:48:08.000 A guy's really into dogs.

00:48:10.000 He loves working with dogs.

00:48:11.000 If you're a pedophile, Wouldn't you get a job at Nickelodeon?

00:48:16.000 Right.

00:48:17.000 You would, right?

00:48:18.000 Yeah.

00:48:19.000 Well, isn't there like a scandal that's going on right now?

00:48:21.000 Yeah, bad.

00:48:22.000 Real bad.

00:48:22.000 What is the Nickelodeon scandal?

00:48:24.000 The Dan guy?

00:48:25.000 I don't even know if it's that.

00:48:26.000 There's another one, too.

00:48:27.000 Oh, really?

00:48:28.000 A new one?

00:48:28.000 I just like kids.

00:48:30.000 I just like working with kids.

00:48:32.000 I just like being around them and being alone with them.

00:48:34.000 Priests.

00:48:35.000 Being alone with them.

00:48:36.000 I like being alone with them.

00:48:37.000 Teachers, yeah.

00:48:37.000 Just me and the kid.

00:48:39.000 Camp counselors.

00:48:40.000 Shh!

00:48:41.000 Let's keep a secret.

00:48:42.000 What the fuck?

00:48:44.000 That's fucked up.

00:48:45.000 But there's humans that recognize that there's like patterns that they can fall into where they can get more attention, get more praise.

00:48:56.000 So this is the Nickelodeon thing.

00:48:57.000 It says the actor has claimed he was sexually abused by dialogue and acting coach Brian Peck who pleaded no contest to performing a lewd act with a 14 or 15 year old and to oral copulation with a minor under 16 in 2004. Ultimately sentenced to 16 months in prison and ordered to register as a sex offender in October 2004. In his first interview since the release of the Doc Bell,

00:49:20.000 has shared his thoughts on Nickelodeon's response to the allegations.

00:49:24.000 Yeah, I mean, how do you know when someone...

00:49:26.000 I mean, if you hire...

00:49:27.000 You're hoping you're hiring people that just, like, Like making kid shows.

00:49:30.000 Maybe they have kids.

00:49:31.000 But why can't the parent be present?

00:49:34.000 They say kids that get molested and stuff like that, a lot of times it's parents just giving them off and not being present.

00:49:46.000 I think about it, I'm like, why didn't we get molested?

00:49:50.000 We were on our own for a long time.

00:49:52.000 I dodged a couple bullets when I was a kid.

00:49:53.000 Did you really?

00:49:54.000 Yeah.

00:49:54.000 But you're trusting people.

00:49:58.000 And most people you can trust.

00:49:59.000 And you hope you can trust these people.

00:50:01.000 Yeah.

00:50:02.000 Do you know about UFC heavyweight champion, former heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez?

00:50:06.000 What happened?

00:50:07.000 His son was apparently by daycare.

00:50:12.000 And he went after the guy and shot at him from his car and got arrested and was in jail.

00:50:18.000 You think he's still awaiting trial.

00:50:20.000 But it was literally one of those things where everybody that hears that, that's a father, if you ask them, what would you do if that happened?

00:50:29.000 Everyone says the same thing.

00:50:31.000 If you can get away with sleepwalking and killing your mother-in-law, you should be away with fucking blind rage that makes you shoot at some guy who molested your kid.

00:50:40.000 Listen, I don't have children, and if that happened to one of my nieces and nephews, I'd be the one who snapped.

00:50:46.000 I'd lose it.

00:50:47.000 It's the most evil of things.

00:50:49.000 It's disgusting.

00:50:51.000 But it's also one of the weird ones that today they're trying to normalize.

00:50:56.000 They're trying to call it minor attracted persons.

00:50:57.000 When I say they, I want to be really clear.

00:51:00.000 Yeah, it's just a few fringe psychos.

00:51:02.000 But the problem is that fringe psycho dialogue winds up on social media and then gets amplified by places like TikTok that want us to be upset at these kind of things, whether it's to program us or whether it's just to keep us like fighting and then engaging in the algorithm,

00:51:22.000 which is ultimately beneficial for them because that's really what they want is more views and more interactions.

00:51:26.000 Yeah.

00:51:27.000 And so you'll have these wacky fucking people that give these speeches in public with cameras on them where they're talking about, we have to understand this is an identity and this should be a protected identity, a minor attracted person.

00:51:38.000 This is not one person saying this.

00:51:40.000 It's multiple people saying this.

00:51:42.000 But it falls into that same thing.

00:51:44.000 Some people are fucking insane.

00:51:46.000 I agree.

00:51:47.000 I agree.

00:51:49.000 My best friend growing up, he was flamboyant from the get.

00:51:54.000 And I mean, we were friends when we were six, seven.

00:51:59.000 And he would always be like, and he made me get into cheerleading because he liked cheerleading.

00:52:05.000 Yeah.

00:52:05.000 I didn't like cheerleading.

00:52:07.000 And then I was like, can we just do something?

00:52:09.000 Can we play football, you know?

00:52:11.000 And then he started, like, we would fight.

00:52:13.000 And then we always used to say that we wished we had a button or we wanted to, there was a cartoon where you can run into each other.

00:52:20.000 Wonder powers activate or something like that.

00:52:22.000 You run into each other and you become something different.

00:52:25.000 We were going to run into each other and become...

00:52:28.000 And you would be a boy.

00:52:29.000 Yes.

00:52:29.000 Nice.

00:52:30.000 And it never worked.

00:52:31.000 So he waited until both his parents passed, and then he transitioned.

00:52:36.000 Oh, wow.

00:52:36.000 But he wanted that his whole life.

00:52:39.000 He just didn't want to disrespect his parents.

00:52:42.000 It's 100% a real thing.

00:52:44.000 It is.

00:52:45.000 But I agree that there's always people that jump in and act.

00:52:50.000 There is that, and then there's this other thing.

00:52:52.000 The other thing is money.

00:52:53.000 So you have to realize how many gender-affirming care clinics have opened up just since 2007. If you look at the map of 2007 versus 2023, it's crazy the difference.

00:53:06.000 I mean, it's probably now or in 2024, it's probably even more.

00:53:09.000 But the number of those things that they, by the way, they're just like a body shop.

00:53:16.000 You bring a car into a body shop, they're going to want to fix the car.

00:53:19.000 Okay?

00:53:20.000 You bring a kid into a gender affirming care, they're not going to go, Billy, you just need to find yourself, man.

00:53:25.000 Maybe you're just a gay man.

00:53:26.000 Right.

00:53:26.000 They're not going to just tell them, like, there's a lot of social pressure on this.

00:53:30.000 Sure.

00:53:30.000 And you're very uncomfortable in your own skin, in your own life, and you're thinking that this is going to be the solution to make you whole.

00:53:36.000 Right.

00:53:37.000 And also, if you're a woman, if they give you testosterone, you are going to feel better.

00:53:41.000 So the thing about testosterone, it alleviates anxiety.

00:53:45.000 It does all sorts of different things.

00:53:46.000 It creates a sense of euphoria when girls take it in high doses and...

00:53:51.000 My friend, someone in his immediate vicinity is transitioning from a girl to a boy.

00:54:01.000 And he found out what the dose was.

00:54:06.000 The dose of testosterone.

00:54:07.000 He goes, this is like a hardcore bodybuilder steroid dose of testosterone.

00:54:14.000 He's like, this person was...

00:54:18.000 Banging.

00:54:19.000 Banging.

00:54:19.000 Like a lot of tests every week.

00:54:22.000 Holy shit.

00:54:23.000 And it was just changing everything.

00:54:25.000 Changing their voice.

00:54:26.000 Yeah.

00:54:26.000 Changing the facial structure.

00:54:28.000 Growing a mustache.

00:54:29.000 Like weird shit.

00:54:30.000 Like knowing someone their whole life as a girl.

00:54:33.000 Then all of a sudden they have a fucking beard.

00:54:35.000 Yeah.

00:54:35.000 What is happening here?

00:54:37.000 Yeah.

00:54:38.000 So of course it's going to make you feel different.

00:54:40.000 But is that who you really were?

00:54:42.000 Is that who you really are?

00:54:44.000 That's the hard part.

00:54:44.000 I think of that a lot because I think if I did it, how would I feel?

00:54:50.000 Because there are people that do it and then say, I want to go back.

00:54:54.000 Yeah, detransitioners.

00:54:55.000 And they get shamed, by the way.

00:54:57.000 That's what's really scary.

00:54:58.000 Those people get attacked because they're fucking it up.

00:55:01.000 Because here's the thing.

00:55:02.000 And you just have to look at it like a system.

00:55:05.000 Mm-hmm.

00:55:07.000 Groups of people always want more people in their group.

00:55:11.000 Always.

00:55:12.000 Like, people that use Windows PCs will try to convince you that Apple sucks.

00:55:17.000 Like, they will, you know?

00:55:18.000 I don't know.

00:55:18.000 I have heard it.

00:55:19.000 I've heard the argument.

00:55:20.000 Now, trans people, unless they're actively trying to reproduce by going to a clinic, so unless you're a trans woman, Woman who has a fully functional dick and you're having sex with a trans man who has a fully functional vagina and hasn't taken so much testosterone that they're no longer fertile.

00:55:42.000 And then even so, like, what's going on there?

00:55:45.000 But that's like, it's not the regular way that people have kids.

00:55:50.000 And there's no guarantee that you're gonna have a trans kid.

00:55:55.000 So there's only one way to get more trans people.

00:55:58.000 You gotta recruit.

00:55:58.000 Exactly.

00:56:00.000 You gotta recruit.

00:56:00.000 Everybody needs a recruit.

00:56:01.000 If you can't draft, you must recruit.

00:56:04.000 That's what they would say about gay people.

00:56:06.000 They're recruiting.

00:56:07.000 Well, some of them do.

00:56:09.000 Some do.

00:56:10.000 But that's what I'm saying.

00:56:11.000 There's always a percentage.

00:56:12.000 I had this friend who was gay and he would always talk about how he'd convince straight guys and letting them suck their dick.

00:56:17.000 Oh my god, I have so many friends.

00:56:19.000 He loved it.

00:56:20.000 He thought it was so funny.

00:56:22.000 He's like, all these straight guys.

00:56:23.000 Yeah.

00:56:24.000 Just get them a little drunk and tell them you suck their dick.

00:56:26.000 It's amazing how many of them let you.

00:56:28.000 It's unbelievable.

00:56:29.000 And then there's, I know women that are gay and so forceful.

00:56:34.000 One is like, was so, she would turn women, if you will, for a period of time.

00:56:42.000 Date them.

00:56:43.000 Drop them like a bad habit.

00:56:45.000 Now they're all fucking confused.

00:56:46.000 They don't know who they are.

00:56:48.000 Am I gay?

00:56:49.000 Am I straight?

00:56:49.000 Who am I? And then go through all this crazy mental breakdowns.

00:56:53.000 I have two really good friends that went crazy over this shit.

00:56:57.000 And I'm like...

00:56:58.000 They got turned out by a lesbian.

00:57:00.000 Turned out and turned down.

00:57:02.000 See ya!

00:57:02.000 Bye, bitch!

00:57:04.000 Later!

00:57:04.000 Sometimes lesbians come as hard as God, you know what I mean?

00:57:08.000 Same kind of behavior.

00:57:10.000 Yeah.

00:57:10.000 Drop you, just cut you off.

00:57:12.000 Like, you're out.

00:57:12.000 Also, you're recognizing if you're in that dating game, right?

00:57:17.000 There's like two players in that dating game.

00:57:20.000 Yeah.

00:57:20.000 There's the strong, like, successful, like, dominator.

00:57:26.000 Which could be a woman.

00:57:27.000 Yeah.

00:57:27.000 And then there's a person who's like, well, sure, I'd love to come to work with you.

00:57:34.000 It doesn't even have to be male or female.

00:57:37.000 There's guys like that that wind up with these boss ladies.

00:57:40.000 How many boss ladies do you know that have these really bag of milk husbands?

00:57:48.000 These guys have zero will.

00:57:50.000 Such a great line.

00:57:51.000 They just have no will.

00:57:53.000 There's no drive.

00:57:54.000 If someone breaks into their house, they're going to faint like a possum.

00:57:57.000 There's no animal in there.

00:58:02.000 It's just...

00:58:04.000 It's all gone.

00:58:05.000 He's under the covers.

00:58:07.000 You get him, honey.

00:58:07.000 If it wasn't gone because of environmental conditions or biology, it's gone by the circumstances they find themselves in.

00:58:14.000 They have a dominant woman and she yells at them and they get no sex.

00:58:18.000 I try to not be that way, but I have done that too.

00:58:22.000 I have.

00:58:23.000 I have done that.

00:58:24.000 I remember Andrew Dice getting angry.

00:58:27.000 I always call him Andrew, whatever.

00:58:28.000 When he got angry at me because there was like a fight, he got an argument with this guy at 7-Eleven.

00:58:34.000 And I got in between.

00:58:35.000 And he was just like, what are you?

00:58:37.000 What are you doing?

00:58:38.000 And I was like, I'll kill somebody.

00:58:40.000 What?

00:58:40.000 You don't want me to help?

00:58:42.000 I thought we were on the same team.

00:58:44.000 That's hilarious.

00:58:45.000 But he got mad and I was like, okay, you got to calm down with your bruteness and not throw a man through something because I'm an idiot like that.

00:58:56.000 Again, growing up with the wrestling and when I physically, literally started wrestling, my mom was like, I was furious at that.

00:59:06.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:59:07.000 We used to love going to watch you.

00:59:09.000 But she was mad!

00:59:10.000 When we saw you at the forum.

00:59:11.000 It was awesome!

00:59:12.000 You're a fucking pro wrestler.

00:59:13.000 It was incredible.

00:59:14.000 It was amazing.

00:59:15.000 I loved it.

00:59:16.000 I was like, this is so good.

00:59:17.000 Yeah, you were really good at it, too.

00:59:18.000 It was fun.

00:59:19.000 It was fun.

00:59:20.000 My mom started giving me notes.

00:59:22.000 Ah, that's hilarious.

00:59:24.000 But it was entertaining.

00:59:25.000 Sure.

00:59:26.000 It was very entertaining.

00:59:27.000 And that's what it's supposed to be, you know?

00:59:28.000 And so, yeah, I would have, like, fun.

00:59:30.000 But, you know, now I'm physically in the ring fighting with people.

00:59:34.000 Like, she was so embarrassed.

00:59:35.000 But there was a point I was going to make and I lost it because my brain died.

00:59:39.000 No worries.

00:59:39.000 But yeah, it's just, I'm saying like that whole trajectory of like, I'm still doing boy-like things in a girl's body.

00:59:48.000 Right, right.

00:59:49.000 And I do believe what you're saying, like it's, it's like my brother Charlie jokingly, talking about like it's hitting everywhere.

00:59:56.000 He went to the doctors and they were asking him questions and she said, what do you identify as?

01:00:01.000 Now Charlie's in his fifties and he goes, the fuck are you talking about?

01:00:04.000 Like, you know what I mean?

01:00:04.000 I know.

01:00:05.000 It's funny when they bring it up out of nowhere.

01:00:06.000 What are you saying?

01:00:07.000 You can see me, bitch.

01:00:09.000 How do you identify with your mustache and your gray chest hair?

01:00:13.000 Yeah, and he's sitting there.

01:00:14.000 He's rubbing one out.

01:00:15.000 What are you saying?

01:00:17.000 But he looked at her because it's so foreign to him.

01:00:21.000 And the lady apologized.

01:00:24.000 She goes, I'm sorry.

01:00:24.000 I have to ask.

01:00:26.000 It's like part of the regulations.

01:00:28.000 Well, it's probably a DEI thing that they have that's attached to their business.

01:00:33.000 It's so crazy.

01:00:34.000 Yeah, it's, well, it's, you know, Vivek Ramaswamy, that guy was running for president.

01:00:40.000 He's a brilliant guy.

01:00:41.000 And he said some very interesting things.

01:00:42.000 When he said, he called it the tyranny of the oppressed.

01:00:45.000 He goes, yeah, it's not good to oppress people.

01:00:48.000 Sure, you should, everyone should be free.

01:00:50.000 But it's also not good to give the oppressed so much power.

01:00:54.000 That they can just run rampant over everyone else and everybody has to like adhere to their rules.

01:01:02.000 Yeah.

01:01:02.000 Because they were at one point in time a part of an oppressed class.

01:01:06.000 And I think that's the overcorrection that we're talking about with like the trans stuff.

01:01:10.000 The problem is today it can be pushed in a way that's so different than when we were kids.

01:01:15.000 When we were kids, if you were a gay guy, you became a priest.

01:01:19.000 Yeah.

01:01:21.000 Did you have a gay guy in high school that became a priest?

01:01:24.000 Yeah.

01:01:24.000 Yeah, we did.

01:01:26.000 And he's not a pedophile.

01:01:27.000 He's a great guy.

01:01:27.000 No, our guy wasn't a pedophile unless he turned into one.

01:01:31.000 But when I knew him, he was a regular kid.

01:01:33.000 He was my friend's sister or my friend's brother.

01:01:36.000 Whoops, Freudian.

01:01:38.000 My friend's brother.

01:01:40.000 They would always talk about it.

01:01:43.000 He's going to be a priest.

01:01:43.000 So we were in high school riding the bus together.

01:01:45.000 I think people even back then were calling him father.

01:01:49.000 He was fucking 15. That's amazing.

01:01:51.000 He just had it on him.

01:01:52.000 Everyone knew he was going to be a priest.

01:01:54.000 Yeah.

01:01:55.000 My friend that did it, he's now out of it.

01:01:58.000 Of the priesthood or the gayness?

01:02:00.000 The priesthood.

01:02:01.000 He's still gay.

01:02:01.000 Still queer as they come.

01:02:04.000 But he left the priesthood, which was weird because we were like, whoa, is he coming out?

01:02:09.000 Is he this?

01:02:10.000 And he left and now he just said they were changing too many things.

01:02:16.000 Like the literal religion.

01:02:20.000 Really?

01:02:20.000 Interesting.

01:02:21.000 What were they changing?

01:02:35.000 There were so many rules that my mom had that we don't have, like my generation didn't have.

01:02:41.000 And now it's a whole nother, like Lent is not, now I'm looking at kids like, what?

01:02:46.000 You could do that?

01:02:47.000 It's Lent.

01:02:47.000 You're not allowed to, you have to do this, this, and this.

01:02:50.000 But they've changed.

01:02:51.000 They just changed so that they can recruit more people.

01:02:54.000 That's why the Muslims are going to win.

01:02:56.000 They don't give a fuck who joins.

01:02:58.000 That's Ramadan is you got a month and nobody's eating.

01:03:02.000 Okay.

01:03:02.000 All day long.

01:03:04.000 Unbelievable.

01:03:04.000 No water, no food.

01:03:05.000 We were in downtown the other day, driving downtown L.A., and there's an alleyway, and this dude was in the alleyway.

01:03:13.000 In L.A.? No, in Austin.

01:03:15.000 Did I say L.A.? Yeah, yeah, it's okay.

01:03:16.000 I'm sorry.

01:03:17.000 Downtown Austin.

01:03:19.000 And there was this dude that was in an alleyway, and the sun was going down, so he was praying.

01:03:26.000 Wherever the fuck you are, you gotta pray.

01:03:28.000 I saw it in New York City.

01:03:29.000 And it's so hard to find a space in New York City.

01:03:33.000 So I was like, wow, that is impressive.

01:03:37.000 That's devotion.

01:03:37.000 Exactly.

01:03:38.000 He was behind a pillar that went into, there was a little bit of room to go into these offices, and he was literally just behind the pillar just doing that.

01:03:46.000 And I was like, wow, that is right in Times Square.

01:03:49.000 Have you ever seen the one from Toronto?

01:03:51.000 Uh-uh.

01:03:52.000 Remember how wacky Canada is?

01:03:55.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:56.000 It was Toronto, right?

01:03:57.000 Call to prayer in the street.

01:03:59.000 It's bananas.

01:04:01.000 Really?

01:04:02.000 The street is filled.

01:04:04.000 They just do the call to prayer and people just come out of their houses?

01:04:07.000 I don't know where this is.

01:04:08.000 I don't know why they were there.

01:04:10.000 I just saw the video and I'm like, whoa, this is Canada?

01:04:14.000 It just seems...

01:04:15.000 Canada's a mess.

01:04:16.000 I don't know if you've been there in a while.

01:04:18.000 I'm sorry.

01:04:19.000 I know they have health care, but it's not working.

01:04:21.000 It's a mess.

01:04:22.000 Their president sucks.

01:04:23.000 They need some sort of no-nonsense president to straighten everything out, or prime minister, or whatever you want to call them.

01:04:29.000 Yeah, the nerve of them.

01:04:30.000 Get a better king.

01:04:32.000 What you're doing is nuts.

01:04:34.000 Every week, there's some new strike on rights and laws and freedom of speech.

01:04:42.000 They just keep cracking.

01:04:43.000 They stop people from being able to get guns.

01:04:45.000 You can't have a handgun anymore.

01:04:47.000 They're cracking down on all sorts of different things in regards to what constitutes hate speech online, whether or not they can filter your internet access.

01:05:00.000 It's not good.

01:05:01.000 They're homeless.

01:05:02.000 I was in Vancouver.

01:05:04.000 Did you find that video?

01:05:08.000 It's really crazy.

01:05:10.000 They're in the streets.

01:05:11.000 There's thousands of people in the street.

01:05:14.000 This is all I can find is this.

01:05:15.000 It's part of a news...

01:05:17.000 Oh!

01:05:17.000 Oh, there it is.

01:05:18.000 Give me this.

01:05:19.000 Look at this.

01:05:22.000 This is in Toronto.

01:05:23.000 Wow.

01:05:24.000 This is in Toronto.

01:05:25.000 So this is a protest for something.

01:05:27.000 Oh, there it is.

01:05:28.000 Yeah, Toronto.

01:05:28.000 But it's still...

01:05:30.000 Oh, it's a protest.

01:05:31.000 Okay, I thought...

01:05:32.000 Even if it's a protest, you get that many people that are doing that.

01:05:35.000 There's not another religion...

01:05:36.000 That would do that.

01:05:37.000 ...that would do that.

01:05:38.000 They are so much more devout in their belief.

01:05:41.000 Because they're praying.

01:05:43.000 Like, the Catholics would just wave a cross in your face.

01:05:46.000 They'd do like a half-ass...

01:05:47.000 And a lot of people would come out...

01:05:50.000 The Muslims are out there in the street on their fucking knees.

01:05:54.000 Fuck your traffic.

01:05:56.000 We're praying.

01:05:58.000 That's a different thing.

01:06:00.000 It's Toronto.

01:06:00.000 It's busy.

01:06:01.000 And Toronto and Canada, their approach to immigrants was not assimilate And assimilate and become a part of America.

01:06:11.000 That's what we do.

01:06:12.000 Become one of us.

01:06:13.000 Become a part of it.

01:06:14.000 Their thing was like, no, keep your culture.

01:06:17.000 Keep your culture and keep it here.

01:06:18.000 What if your culture is Sharia law?

01:06:20.000 What are you guys saying?

01:06:21.000 You know there's parts of the world that are living like the 1200s.

01:06:26.000 Yeah.

01:06:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:28.000 But that doesn't look like that.

01:06:31.000 Like, it's hard to figure out.

01:06:33.000 Like, you look at a priest, you go, pedophile, right?

01:06:36.000 And then you look at a Muslim, you go, terrorist.

01:06:38.000 Like, that's so bad.

01:06:39.000 Like, it's not, it's again, it's a small portion.

01:06:41.000 See, the thing about, and it's also like our version of it is like, oh, you see them, they're terrorists.

01:06:47.000 Well, why?

01:06:48.000 Yeah.

01:06:49.000 What did we do?

01:06:50.000 Right.

01:06:51.000 What was your part in it, little lady?

01:06:53.000 How many bombs have gone off in Yemen?

01:06:55.000 What have we done?

01:06:56.000 What did we do in Iraq?

01:06:57.000 What did we do in Afghanistan?

01:06:59.000 What did we do?

01:07:00.000 Yeah.

01:07:01.000 What did we do to deserve this?

01:07:03.000 Accountability is lost everywhere in the world.

01:07:06.000 Yeah.

01:07:07.000 We are like, what we're doing is so bonkers all over the world with so many different bases.

01:07:14.000 We're the only country that has bases ever.

01:07:17.000 How many countries does the United States have military bases in?

01:07:20.000 Let's just take a guess.

01:07:21.000 How many have they had abandoned?

01:07:23.000 Let's take a guess.

01:07:24.000 Oh, a guess.

01:07:25.000 Oh, shit.

01:07:25.000 How many active military bases in how many countries?

01:07:30.000 You're trying to see if I'm smart.

01:07:32.000 I've seen multiple military bases probably exist in some countries of strategic importance.

01:07:37.000 Sure.

01:07:37.000 But if we had to guess, how many countries have U.S. military bases?

01:07:43.000 Let's guess.

01:07:44.000 I'm going to guess countries.

01:07:47.000 I know there's like so many.

01:07:49.000 I'm not smart.

01:07:50.000 I'm going to say 15. 15. Okay, I'm going to go a little higher.

01:07:52.000 I'm going to say 30. Oh, shit!

01:07:54.000 Really?

01:07:55.000 Yeah, it's probably higher than that.

01:07:56.000 How many countries...

01:07:58.000 How do you have US military bases in them?

01:08:01.000 According to Al Jazeera, the number is not published by the Pentagon, but it is known to be around 750 bases in at least 80 countries.

01:08:14.000 80?

01:08:15.000 80. Because I was thinking of the main ones that I hear.

01:08:21.000 750 bases.

01:08:22.000 Imagine if there's 750 Apple stores.

01:08:25.000 I think there is.

01:08:27.000 I gotta be honest.

01:08:28.000 In countries that we like invade and put an Apple store in.

01:08:30.000 Wow.

01:08:31.000 We're like, what is Apple trying to do?

01:08:33.000 Apple and Starbucks, side by side.

01:08:35.000 They're everywhere.

01:08:36.000 McDonald's just made it up into the Congo.

01:08:38.000 Yeah.

01:08:39.000 But that's nuts.

01:08:41.000 80 countries.

01:08:42.000 That is 80 countries.

01:08:44.000 700 plus military bases.

01:08:47.000 Holy shit.

01:08:49.000 So, you know, when you see terrorists and you go, why are they mad at us?

01:08:52.000 Oh yeah, I never...

01:08:53.000 There's 520 Apple stories.

01:08:56.000 Oh, there you go.

01:08:57.000 So there's more military bases in other countries than there are Apple stores.

01:09:03.000 Apple, you're slacking.

01:09:04.000 Get it together.

01:09:05.000 Isn't that wild?

01:09:05.000 Wow.

01:09:06.000 That's crazy.

01:09:07.000 That's wild.

01:09:08.000 We're a bigger business.

01:09:08.000 And people are still talking about Microsoft?

01:09:10.000 Yeah.

01:09:10.000 The U.S. military is a bigger business than Microsoft.

01:09:12.000 That's why they had to recruit the trans.

01:09:14.000 They're like, we just need bodies.

01:09:16.000 Get that admiral.

01:09:17.000 That fucking dude.

01:09:18.000 Put him in a dress.

01:09:18.000 Put him in a...

01:09:19.000 Make him an admiral.

01:09:21.000 Yeah, get everybody excited.

01:09:22.000 You can become an admiral if you're a girl.

01:09:23.000 You can win woman of the year.

01:09:24.000 Give him woman of the year.

01:09:25.000 Get a woman in the air.

01:09:26.000 Look, I know you're a loser as a guy, but listen.

01:09:29.000 As a woman, you're a winner.

01:09:31.000 Nobody wants to fuck you anyway.

01:09:32.000 Why don't you just pretend you're a woman for a little bit and move up that goddamn ladder, Leah Thomas.

01:09:36.000 That's what you have to do.

01:09:37.000 Swim it out, bitch.

01:09:38.000 Yeah, swim it out.

01:09:39.000 But that's the world we're living in.

01:09:42.000 And then also you have China.

01:09:45.000 Which is so much more clever than the United States.

01:09:47.000 They've been around and they've thrived economically for 4,000 years.

01:09:51.000 So China has been infiltrating all of our education systems, infiltrating, buying up stock and businesses, buying up land.

01:10:01.000 They have their fucking tentacles in the entire system.

01:10:05.000 In this country.

01:10:06.000 And they run the most addictive social media app.

01:10:11.000 Adam Curry has said this best.

01:10:14.000 He's the original podfather.

01:10:16.000 He's the first podcaster.

01:10:18.000 The guy from MTV. Remember Adam Curry?

01:10:19.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:20.000 That name.

01:10:20.000 Yeah.

01:10:21.000 No Agenda podcast.

01:10:22.000 He's the best.

01:10:22.000 I love him.

01:10:23.000 But Adam pointed it out.

01:10:26.000 He's like, this is the only time where there's been a thing that the United States makes where China dominates in what is ordinarily thought of as a creative thing.

01:10:38.000 Right.

01:10:38.000 Like tech things.

01:10:40.000 For a social media app, TikTok's the most addictive.

01:10:44.000 And he thinks that all of this attacks on TikTok.

01:10:48.000 He's like, they're not doing anything different than we're doing.

01:10:51.000 He goes, all the attacks is all just really designed to shut out the competition or break it up.

01:10:56.000 Yeah.

01:10:57.000 And then make other countries like China, if they have an app like TikTok, you have to sell to America.

01:11:05.000 And then you're going to keep doing the same thing, but now we'll have the data.

01:11:07.000 We don't want the data in those other people that are shifty.

01:11:11.000 We want it in our shifty people.

01:11:13.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:11:13.000 We're going to keep an eye on you and use your microphone and look at all your fucking text messages that you send to your friends.

01:11:19.000 Yeah.

01:11:20.000 Check your memes folder for fucking dangerous things.

01:11:24.000 See how much makeup you really have.

01:11:27.000 That's all they do.

01:11:28.000 This guy in Belgium, they sentenced him to a year in jail because he's been sharing racist memes with his friends in a private chat.

01:11:39.000 And then we went and saw the memes.

01:11:40.000 Oh my god.

01:11:41.000 They're like nothing.

01:11:43.000 Oh yeah, mine got out.

01:11:44.000 But I mean, they're nothing.

01:11:46.000 They were talking about Nazi ones.

01:11:48.000 Did we ever find that?

01:11:50.000 We did.

01:11:50.000 We showed it on the show.

01:11:52.000 See if you can find his memes.

01:11:53.000 I tried to find the page we found again, but remember the one had guns in it?

01:11:57.000 We were like, maybe it was something to do with the gun.

01:11:58.000 Yeah, there definitely was a gun thing.

01:12:00.000 But the guns one was like they were in another country taking photos with guns and saying something like we're going to take back our country or some crazy shit like that.

01:12:08.000 Well, anyway, they arrested this dude.

01:12:10.000 But they're allowed to look in your private chats and then sentence you for memes you send your friends.

01:12:17.000 But that's how slippery this shit can get.

01:12:20.000 When you give people control over what you can and can't say and then you acknowledge that you're getting influenced constantly by foreign governments and foreign agents that are trying to sow the seeds of chaos.

01:12:35.000 According to this, there's no gun charges, so maybe not.

01:12:39.000 Just straight racism.

01:12:42.000 Racism, Holocaust denial in relation to material shared amongst private group chats, although Van Levergo denies sending the material himself.

01:12:50.000 So he was on the chat.

01:12:53.000 He was on the chat that got all these things shared.

01:12:57.000 Mm-hmm.

01:12:59.000 Let's see what the actual memes...

01:13:01.000 I'm trying to find them.

01:13:02.000 I've been trying to find them every time we talk about it.

01:13:04.000 I can't find them again.

01:13:04.000 Really?

01:13:04.000 That's insane.

01:13:05.000 I bet Reddit has it.

01:13:07.000 4chan.

01:13:08.000 I bet 4chan's got it.

01:13:10.000 I don't even know how to look at that website.

01:13:12.000 You don't know how to look up on 4chan?

01:13:14.000 What is it?

01:13:14.000 Are you a fake internet guy?

01:13:16.000 You know what I do?

01:13:16.000 I call Duncan.

01:13:18.000 Duncan's on 4chan all day long.

01:13:20.000 Hey man, I'll use my burner account!

01:13:25.000 I'll ask the guys!

01:13:28.000 I'm obsessed with Duncan.

01:13:29.000 He's the best.

01:13:30.000 The greatest human being ever.

01:13:32.000 We forced him into being the talent coordinator at the comedy store.

01:13:35.000 Yeah.

01:13:36.000 Well, that's how Duncan and I became friends.

01:13:38.000 Talent coordinator?

01:13:39.000 Yeah, I used to call up and leave my avails.

01:13:41.000 We'd have these crazy conversations about Alan Watts and some speech that he gave.

01:13:46.000 He's literally the smartest person in the world.

01:13:49.000 Well, he's a fascinating guy because he's so uniquely him.

01:13:53.000 Duncan, he doesn't change who he is to be around other people.

01:13:59.000 He's always been this really odd, kind of hippie guy, but also very objective about things.

01:14:07.000 And he'll see people getting sucked into a certain pattern of thinking and be like, hey, what?

01:14:12.000 Hold on.

01:14:14.000 He'll be one of the first to...

01:14:15.000 And he's really great at satire, too.

01:14:18.000 He's really great at pretending.

01:14:19.000 He's really into something.

01:14:20.000 He uses Twitter for that all the time.

01:14:22.000 If you look at some of his tweets and you didn't know, you think he's serious.

01:14:27.000 I read when I go, this is the greatest.

01:14:28.000 He did one recently, something about the CIA. He's just fucking hilarious.

01:14:34.000 I don't understand how people can't read the sarcasm.

01:14:37.000 Because they're dumb.

01:14:38.000 I guess you're right.

01:14:39.000 But what he's saying, I'm not smart, but what he's...

01:14:42.000 You had to survive, though.

01:14:43.000 You had to develop some kind of smarts.

01:14:45.000 You had all these brothers.

01:14:46.000 It's chaos.

01:14:46.000 But laughing at what he's saying.

01:14:48.000 Like, it's so bizarre that you know it's fucking crazy.

01:14:52.000 No, not if you're one of them Illuminati people.

01:14:55.000 Oh, like believes in...

01:14:55.000 Everybody's eating babies.

01:14:57.000 And they're getting adrenochrome.

01:14:59.000 Yeah.

01:14:59.000 Well, I'm looking for those babies.

01:15:01.000 Well, there's a thing.

01:15:02.000 If you're on this podcast, there's a certain group of people that will think you're in with the Illuminati.

01:15:08.000 They would think that I'm in.

01:15:09.000 I'm in?

01:15:10.000 I'm here to tell you, folks.

01:15:12.000 Me, the guy who has the number one podcast in the world?

01:15:15.000 This fucking thing is like, it's all in my head.

01:15:18.000 It's all me getting text messages.

01:15:21.000 It's all me, like, emailing guys to get them to come on.

01:15:25.000 It's all in my head.

01:15:26.000 There's no CIA. But that's what I would say, though, if I was a guy who was, like, influenced by the NSA and I was, like, an undercover spy.

01:15:35.000 Sort of like there's people that believe...

01:15:36.000 So that strip search was normal that I did when I came in?

01:15:39.000 I don't know what you got in your posting.

01:15:40.000 You gotta do a cavity search.

01:15:43.000 That was the thing about the rock and roll movement in Laurel Canyon in the 1970s.

01:15:49.000 Eddie Bravo made me read a book on it.

01:15:52.000 I watched the documentary, I think.

01:15:54.000 Yeah, there's like a crazy fucking conspiracy that...

01:16:00.000 The CIA created, like, Jim Morrison, The Doors, and the rock and roll movement of the 60s, all the decadent rock and roll.

01:16:08.000 Yeah.

01:16:08.000 And there's weird connections.

01:16:11.000 It's like, you gotta go, like, whoa.

01:16:13.000 There are some connections there.

01:16:15.000 Here's the thing.

01:16:16.000 I don't think you can create a Jim Morrison.

01:16:19.000 You need to have a guy who's that guy.

01:16:21.000 But Jim Morrison's dad was, like, a federal agent.

01:16:24.000 Jim Morrison's dad was...

01:16:25.000 What was Jim Morrison's dad?

01:16:28.000 General.

01:16:29.000 It was a general.

01:16:29.000 General?

01:16:31.000 Wasn't he in the CIA as well?

01:16:33.000 I don't think so.

01:16:34.000 No?

01:16:35.000 Just a general?

01:16:36.000 He was like the one that gave the orders that started the Gulf of Tonkin or something.

01:16:40.000 Jesus Christ.

01:16:41.000 Whoa!

01:16:42.000 Okay, so imagine that.

01:16:43.000 So his dad, deep state.

01:16:45.000 So that's a connection.

01:16:46.000 Military connection.

01:16:47.000 Okay.

01:16:48.000 Rear Admiral.

01:16:49.000 Yeah, look at that.

01:16:50.000 Rear Admiral.

01:16:50.000 That's not what I expected his dad to look like.

01:16:52.000 So he's not a general.

01:16:54.000 So he's a heavy-duty military man.

01:16:56.000 And then his son...

01:16:58.000 Goes on and becomes one of the biggest rock and roll stars of all time.

01:17:01.000 And like a complete counterculture figure, drugs and chaos and pulling his dick out in front of people.

01:17:08.000 Madness.

01:17:09.000 Driving a 67 GT500 Mustang in the desert and fucking hair and sunglasses.

01:17:16.000 And there's people that think that that sort of image, the rock and roll star, the decadent, depraved rock and roll star image, Was calculated by the CIA and that this was all a part of the same anti-war movement.

01:17:35.000 Like, what they were trying to do is stop the anti-war movement.

01:17:38.000 They were trying to stop the hippie movement.

01:17:40.000 And they think that what they did was encourage a chaos that came out of worshipping these degenerate rock and roll stars that were all drug addicts and saying crazy shit.

01:17:52.000 Right.

01:17:53.000 Like, you're taking away his talent?

01:17:55.000 No, but you're not, though.

01:17:56.000 You're not.

01:17:57.000 You're essentially saying that they promoted that.

01:18:01.000 Like, the talent already existed, but they realized, if you can get this crazy, chaotic guy, sign him to a major record label, and then push him everywhere, and have these young kids see this guy...

01:18:12.000 Worship this guy with these sayings.

01:18:14.000 Worship this weird...

01:18:15.000 Poems.

01:18:15.000 The Lizard King.

01:18:17.000 Right.

01:18:17.000 This fucking wild dude that Val Kilmer played in that movie.

01:18:21.000 Excellent.

01:18:22.000 Yeah, Val Kilmer thought he was Jim Morrison.

01:18:25.000 He lost his fucking marbles.

01:18:26.000 I believe that.

01:18:27.000 It's a great movie.

01:18:27.000 He seemed like Jim Morrison in that movie.

01:18:29.000 But this documentary, this book, is all about that the CIA had a hand in this.

01:18:38.000 I don't know exactly what they said he did in it, but this is an explanation of what happened.

01:18:43.000 The details of the incident were distorted, perhaps intentionally, between Morrison and the other commanders on the scene, the Pentagon and the White House.

01:18:49.000 That night, President Johnson interrupted primetime TV, a very big deal in those days, and told the American public that two U.S. Navy warships had been attacked on the high seas and he was asking Congress for support to counter the North Vietnamese aggression.

01:19:04.000 At the same time, Morrison and his staff told Navy headquarters in Hawaii that the radar returns the destroyers had targeted were probably false returns generated by the rough seas.

01:19:16.000 Headquarters relayed the information to the Secretary of Defense, Robert McNamara, but he failed to give those details to President Johnson.

01:19:23.000 So he held the details back.

01:19:25.000 So based on Johnson's testimony that the destroyers had suffered an unprovoked attack in international waters, Congress approved of the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, giving the president the authority to conduct military operations in Southeast Asia without a declaration of war.

01:19:42.000 So that was Morrison's dad was a part of that.

01:19:46.000 Wow.

01:19:46.000 So, the thing is, it sounds super far-fetched, but when you look at what they definitely did with the Manson family, what they definitely did with Operation MKUltra...

01:20:01.000 And Operation Midnight Climax and all these different crazy mind control experiments that they did and what they did with the Harvard LSD studies and what they did with the...

01:20:10.000 They were dosing people with acid and trying to make them do things and trying to turn them into psychopaths and they did it with the Manson family.

01:20:19.000 They got Manson when he was in prison and dosed him up with acid allegedly, taught him how to be a cult leader allegedly, and then provided him with acid and then repeatedly let him out of jail every time he got arrested for things.

01:20:32.000 Yeah, because he was arrested a lot.

01:20:33.000 Yeah, and someone would step in and say, this is above your pay grade, and he would be out.

01:20:38.000 Yeah, and they know that he worked with Jolly West, who was the guy who was running MKUltra for the CIA. So if they were doing that, you think they're gonna leave rock and roll alone?

01:20:47.000 No, they probably would do it.

01:20:49.000 And then there's also some people now that are saying they were a part of funding the gangster rap movement of the 80s and 90s.

01:20:56.000 That was another way to sow discord in society.

01:21:01.000 And when society is unstable, You can control people more.

01:21:05.000 When society is stable, then they want to go, hey, let's fucking get rid of some of these bureaucrats that are useless.

01:21:11.000 Let's fucking clean up the streets.

01:21:12.000 That's a stable society with a great economy.

01:21:15.000 No, you want things in chaos.

01:21:17.000 And so that's the way you stay in power and stay in control.

01:21:20.000 Yeah.

01:21:21.000 What was it?

01:21:21.000 It was a movie or something silly where they would play in the...

01:21:25.000 It was the music.

01:21:26.000 There were musicians, whatever.

01:21:28.000 They had an album out.

01:21:29.000 And in the album, they were putting something to get people to buy certain things or do certain things.

01:21:35.000 Oh, subliminal messages.

01:21:36.000 They used to do that in movies.

01:21:38.000 I forget what it was.

01:21:39.000 They would show one frame and said, hungry, eat popcorn.

01:21:42.000 Yeah, they would show like a photo.

01:21:43.000 Was it a silly Will Ferrell movie?

01:21:45.000 It's like drive me crazy.

01:21:47.000 Like Ben Stiller.

01:21:48.000 But it was getting people to do things.

01:21:51.000 It was crazy.

01:21:52.000 And I was like, that probably fucking happens.

01:21:55.000 It definitely happens.

01:21:56.000 Josie and the Pussycats.

01:21:58.000 I know it was something stupid.

01:22:00.000 A girl group find themselves in the middle of a conspiracy to deliver subliminal messages through the popular music.

01:22:05.000 It was so silly.

01:22:06.000 A girl group find themselves in the middle of a conspiracy...

01:22:08.000 So that was the TV show?

01:22:11.000 Oh no, this is later.

01:22:13.000 This is way later.

01:22:14.000 Josie and the Pussycats was an actual animated show that was on when I was a kid.

01:22:19.000 That's why I was thinking it was silly.

01:22:20.000 So that's the movie from 2001. Yeah.

01:22:21.000 Is that Will Ferrell?

01:22:22.000 I don't know if he's in it.

01:22:24.000 I just remember it being quirky.

01:22:26.000 Oh, I never saw this.

01:22:28.000 Interesting.

01:22:28.000 She's my favorite.

01:22:29.000 Look, Eugene Levy.

01:22:30.000 I love that dude, too.

01:22:30.000 Excellent.

01:22:31.000 Yeah.

01:22:32.000 I think I watched it because Parker Posey was in it.

01:22:34.000 That dude from Schitt's Creek?

01:22:35.000 Yeah.

01:22:36.000 Schitt's Creek is hilarious.

01:22:37.000 You ever watch that show?

01:22:39.000 Oh, my God.

01:22:40.000 My mom loves that.

01:22:41.000 Such a good show.

01:22:42.000 She's like, put that shit on again.

01:22:43.000 I'm like, it's Schitt's Creek, lady.

01:22:45.000 You know what's a good show that I used to shit on for no reason at all?

01:22:49.000 Because I just never watched it?

01:22:50.000 The Big Bang Theory.

01:22:51.000 Oh!

01:22:52.000 Big Bang Theory is a fucking funny show.

01:22:54.000 It is funny.

01:22:55.000 It's a funny show.

01:22:56.000 Yeah.

01:22:57.000 People say it's canned laughter, but I think they did do it in front of a studio audience.

01:23:01.000 They did.

01:23:02.000 Well, some of it is canned laughter, but that's the case in every single sitcom.

01:23:06.000 So what happens is, in any single sitcom, you'll have takes that someone flubs a line or something fucks up and you have to redo it.

01:23:14.000 Sometimes you redo it without the audience.

01:23:16.000 So you have pickups.

01:23:17.000 Yes.

01:23:18.000 So after the sitcom's filmed, the audience leaves and they say, oh, Joe, you have two pickups.

01:23:24.000 Dave, you have two pickups.

01:23:26.000 And so you'll just wear whatever you wore in that scene again and redo the scene.

01:23:30.000 So you'll do it with no audience.

01:23:32.000 Yeah.

01:23:33.000 I didn't think of that.

01:23:34.000 I thought they redo it with the audience.

01:23:36.000 No.

01:23:37.000 Sometimes they do that, too.

01:23:38.000 We did that, too.

01:23:38.000 But you don't want to beat the audience up.

01:23:40.000 Right.

01:23:41.000 Sometimes if it's just a real quick second take, they'll do a second take.

01:23:45.000 We'll do it one more time, folks.

01:23:46.000 But if there's like a real pickup or maybe they need a writing fix, like maybe someone comes along and sometimes they'll be watching it live and they'll go, you know, we need a better line here.

01:23:55.000 And so, okay, let's get it in post.

01:23:57.000 So then they wait until after the show and then they do it.

01:23:59.000 So if you watch like an episode of The Big Bang Theory and no one's laughing, And the reason why is because they probably filmed that without an audience.

01:24:07.000 Sure.

01:24:08.000 It's part of the process of making a sitcom.

01:24:10.000 But it's a funny fucking show.

01:24:12.000 It's funny.

01:24:12.000 And what they're talking about is bizarro.

01:24:16.000 We call my nephew Brandon Sheldon because he's like, Sheldon, you know, everything's ritual.

01:24:22.000 You have to do it a certain way.

01:24:24.000 It's an incredible character.

01:24:25.000 But the way he shits on people, and the way he does saying things, and then they'll have to remind him, hey, that's sarcasm.

01:24:32.000 And he's like, oh, that.

01:24:34.000 Like you people.

01:24:35.000 You're so minimal.

01:24:37.000 Well, he's also not that competent.

01:24:39.000 But he's bizarrely smart.

01:24:42.000 Bizarrely overestimates his work.

01:24:45.000 So even amongst other physicists, he falls short.

01:24:48.000 It's a complicated character.

01:24:49.000 It's very funny.

01:24:50.000 I think it's great.

01:24:51.000 I think he did a great job with it, too.

01:24:53.000 No, it's a great show, but I was watching the other day.

01:24:55.000 You know, the reason why I found that show, actually, is a show that I think is even better than that, which is Young Sheldon, which is a Netflix show, which is no audience.

01:25:02.000 I haven't seen that.

01:25:02.000 It's new, right?

01:25:03.000 Yeah.

01:25:03.000 And Young Sheldon is about him when he was a little boy, and it's hilarious.

01:25:06.000 Oh, that's great.

01:25:07.000 It's not new.

01:25:08.000 I think there's, like, several seasons.

01:25:10.000 Oh, newer.

01:25:11.000 Yeah, newer.

01:25:12.000 Yeah, but I think there's, like, six seasons.

01:25:14.000 I think they started making it after Big Bang Theory.

01:25:16.000 Was done.

01:25:18.000 So then they did Young Sheldon.

01:25:19.000 Right.

01:25:19.000 But it's a really funny show.

01:25:22.000 And I was like, God damn, this is about The Big Bang Theory?

01:25:24.000 And then we started watching The Big Bang Theory.

01:25:26.000 And I'm like, it's a good sitcom.

01:25:27.000 And it made me think, like, man, other than Miss Pat.

01:25:31.000 Miss Pat, who has a regular sitcom.

01:25:33.000 She has an actual, legit film.

01:25:35.000 And it's hilarious.

01:25:37.000 It's hilarious.

01:25:38.000 But you have to have the BET app to get it.

01:25:40.000 And maybe it's on something else, too, now.

01:25:42.000 Right.

01:25:42.000 What else is Miss Pat's show?

01:25:43.000 I see it on BET. So, other than that, like, dude, they don't exist anymore.

01:25:49.000 The audience sitcoms?

01:25:51.000 There used to be a hundred of them.

01:25:53.000 Not good ones.

01:25:54.000 They used to be on the WB and the UPN and the fucking ABC and NBC and CBS and Fox and there was so many fucking sitcoms.

01:26:03.000 Yeah, I think now everything's about hospitals.

01:26:05.000 Okay, you can get it on everything now.

01:26:06.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:07.000 So you can get it on Roku, Amazon Prime, YouTube, Google Play, Apple TV and BET Plus.

01:26:17.000 Well, Apple TV is real good about that.

01:26:20.000 Most shit you can get, even stuff that's like, you know, I'm watching Shogun.

01:26:25.000 Shogun's on FX. Somebody just told me about that.

01:26:28.000 I gotta get into it.

01:26:29.000 They said it's really good.

01:26:31.000 It's very good.

01:26:31.000 But you can watch that on Apple.

01:26:33.000 Yeah.

01:26:34.000 You just get it on Apple TV. Apple TV's the shit.

01:26:36.000 I love Apple TV. I have that.

01:26:38.000 They just turn you into a fucking Apple robot.

01:26:40.000 You buy everything.

01:26:41.000 You really do.

01:26:41.000 You get sucked into the ecosystem.

01:26:42.000 And they make it easy.

01:26:43.000 Like, you resist, but you're like, why am I resisting?

01:26:45.000 It's so much better.

01:26:46.000 Like, my phone is a remote control.

01:26:48.000 You use your phone as a fucking remote.

01:26:49.000 And it's a better remote control than the one that's on your phone.

01:26:52.000 Absolutely.

01:26:52.000 This stupid thing that the guy programmed.

01:26:54.000 Wait a minute.

01:26:55.000 This could be a remote?

01:26:56.000 I'm kidding.

01:26:57.000 The phone is a remote for Apple TV. It's incredible.

01:27:00.000 Yeah.

01:27:00.000 It's the best.

01:27:01.000 The Apple TV, go back to the TikTok thing, I would see a lot of clips from Miss Pat.

01:27:07.000 People love it.

01:27:08.000 It's a great show.

01:27:09.000 It's great to see.

01:27:10.000 Because then, this is another thing, they'll play clips from TV shows.

01:27:13.000 So you're like, oh, what is that show?

01:27:16.000 And then you kind of get into that.

01:27:17.000 I never watched that whatever show was out a long time ago.

01:27:21.000 And then I'm like, oh, I should check that out.

01:27:23.000 And you'll find it on the apps.

01:27:24.000 So now I'm watching it.

01:27:26.000 So TikTok is telling me what to do.

01:27:29.000 Yeah.

01:27:30.000 They're definitely moving you in a direction.

01:27:33.000 Yeah.

01:27:33.000 I mean, it's not bad.

01:27:36.000 The thing is, the question is, should we protect people from the kind of influence that can scramble their brains?

01:27:44.000 Sure.

01:27:44.000 Because you can't, like, remember when a few years, not a few years, a few months back, all the TikTokers had got a hold of, what the fuck's his name?

01:27:58.000 Osama Bin Laden.

01:27:59.000 Osama Bin Laden's letter to America.

01:28:01.000 And they were all like, oh my god, Osama Bin Laden, he was the good guy.

01:28:06.000 Like, America's the bad guy.

01:28:07.000 And it was like all these fucking...

01:28:09.000 Fucking Cobra Kai?

01:28:10.000 What is this shit?

01:28:11.000 No, I'm telling you, it's this foreign influence.

01:28:14.000 I guarantee you there's some of that that's a part of the accentuating that.

01:28:19.000 And then there's also the radical left today that wants to attack everything that's America and thinks that American flags are racist.

01:28:28.000 People are out of their fucking minds.

01:28:29.000 Well, anybody that wears an American flag, they're considered like this, you know, Trump or whatever.

01:28:35.000 It's hilarious.

01:28:36.000 It's the left, right?

01:28:37.000 Is it the left?

01:28:37.000 I don't know.

01:28:38.000 I'm not good.

01:28:39.000 Look at that right there.

01:28:40.000 I don't know.

01:28:40.000 That's a goddamn American flag right next to Missy Shore.

01:28:42.000 Fuck yeah, it is.

01:28:43.000 I was literally looking at myself like, hi.

01:28:45.000 And then I'm looking at Missy's nipples.

01:28:47.000 And yeah, that flag is gorgeous.

01:28:50.000 See, I grew up, my mom worked for the Philadelphia Navy shipyard.

01:28:54.000 So she had rules.

01:28:57.000 I see people with flags like bikinis.

01:29:00.000 We weren't allowed to wear that.

01:29:01.000 My mom was like, that's disgraceful.

01:29:03.000 That's not how you wear the flag.

01:29:05.000 I'm like, oh, okay.

01:29:06.000 You couldn't have shorts with it on.

01:29:08.000 You had to fold it a certain way.

01:29:09.000 We'd drive down the street and she'd see tethered flags.

01:29:12.000 Those people are un-American.

01:29:14.000 She had to fold it a certain way.

01:29:16.000 You had to take it in when there was a storm.

01:29:18.000 She is a little crazy about the flag.

01:29:21.000 So when I see it, I'm like, oh, I stand up straight because I'm going to get yelled at by my mom.

01:29:26.000 So I get nervous.

01:29:27.000 But yeah, I don't look at a flag and think, oh, that's...

01:29:31.000 Have you watched Cobra Kai?

01:29:32.000 But it's bizarre to say.

01:29:33.000 I watched it for a little while.

01:29:34.000 I gave it up on it for a while.

01:29:34.000 Okay, but you see what I'm saying?

01:29:36.000 They made Johnny...

01:29:36.000 Yeah, he's a bad guy now.

01:29:38.000 No, but they made him like he was...

01:29:39.000 No, he's the good guy and Ralph Macchio is the bad guy.

01:29:43.000 Right.

01:29:43.000 It was hilarious.

01:29:44.000 I was like, this is...

01:29:45.000 And then I'm like, is that really what happened?

01:29:47.000 Like, now I'm starting to think it.

01:29:49.000 So the Osama bin Laden, people are probably like, fuck, we've all been lied to.

01:29:54.000 Yeah.

01:29:55.000 Because we do get lied to a lot.

01:29:57.000 So the second you see one thing, you could be like, see, we're right.

01:30:02.000 Also, Osama bin Laden was a CIA asset.

01:30:06.000 Osama bin Laden trained the Mujahideen to fight the Soviets.

01:30:09.000 He was a part of that.

01:30:10.000 So when he turned on America, it was not like we didn't do anything.

01:30:16.000 Again.

01:30:16.000 We're like a crazy girlfriend.

01:30:18.000 Like, I didn't fucking do anything.

01:30:20.000 He just fucking left me.

01:30:21.000 I didn't do anything.

01:30:23.000 It's no big deal that I shot his window out.

01:30:25.000 Why'd you guys get kicked out?

01:30:26.000 We were just laughing.

01:30:28.000 We weren't doing anything.

01:30:30.000 We were just laughing and they kicked us out.

01:30:33.000 Like, how many times I've heard that?

01:30:35.000 I was helping this show.

01:30:36.000 How many times have you heard that?

01:30:37.000 A billion.

01:30:38.000 Easily.

01:30:38.000 I was so disappointed in Donnell yesterday.

01:30:40.000 Donnell was telling me he started his career as a heckler.

01:30:43.000 Shut the fuck up.

01:30:44.000 Donnell Rawlings started his career heckling.

01:30:47.000 He's like, son, I was moving tickets as a heckler.

01:30:49.000 He was saying that people would come to see him heckle, that he would heckle the comedians.

01:30:54.000 That's how he got it started.

01:30:56.000 I don't know how to feel about that.

01:30:58.000 That's how he got it started.

01:30:59.000 He got his career started as a heckler.

01:31:03.000 Our enemy?

01:31:04.000 I go, don't you feel bad about that now?

01:31:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:31:06.000 Do you feel terrible about that now?

01:31:08.000 I mean, that's awful.

01:31:10.000 So how would he move tickets?

01:31:11.000 Like, he would go to shows and, like, prove he was better than the comics?

01:31:14.000 It's Donnell.

01:31:15.000 It's all, like...

01:31:16.000 He's so funny.

01:31:16.000 Gonzo journalism.

01:31:17.000 You're not sure what's real, what's not.

01:31:19.000 I do love him.

01:31:20.000 He's the best.

01:31:21.000 I love him, too.

01:31:22.000 He was looking sharp yesterday.

01:31:23.000 He got a three-piece suit.

01:31:24.000 He does dress so nice.

01:31:25.000 Yeah, sometimes he does.

01:31:27.000 He's, like, changed his look.

01:31:28.000 He had a three-piece with a tie and, like, a pocket square.

01:31:32.000 Okay.

01:31:32.000 Yeah.

01:31:33.000 Netflix special in a pocket square.

01:31:35.000 My man.

01:31:36.000 Slim cut.

01:31:36.000 He looked good.

01:31:37.000 He looked like he was in good shape.

01:31:38.000 Yeah.

01:31:39.000 Lost weight.

01:31:40.000 I like it.

01:31:41.000 My special's on YouTube, so I'm wearing a sweatshirt.

01:31:43.000 Yeah.

01:31:44.000 But specials on YouTube are great because they're accessible to everybody.

01:31:47.000 No, I love it.

01:31:48.000 It's a good move.

01:31:49.000 I was a little bit like, like, oh, I should try to shop it.

01:31:53.000 And I sent it to a few people, you know, did a little bit of the shopping, but then I was like, no.

01:31:59.000 I think the YouTube's the better option.

01:32:02.000 It's a great way because you're going to ensure that people will find it easy and be able to get a hold of it instantaneously.

01:32:09.000 Everybody has a YouTube account.

01:32:10.000 Or if you don't have a YouTube account, you just use YouTube with no account.

01:32:13.000 Exactly.

01:32:14.000 YouTube is like the only thing that will let you watch stuff with no account.

01:32:17.000 I knew that when I saw my brother Charlie watching it.

01:32:20.000 I was like, wow.

01:32:21.000 He can't work Netflix, but he's got YouTube?

01:32:23.000 This is amazing.

01:32:24.000 Things like Instagram or TikTok.

01:32:26.000 People send me TikTok links all the time.

01:32:28.000 I don't have TikTok, so I'm not going to click on it.

01:32:30.000 Oh, interesting.

01:32:31.000 Then I would have to sign up or I'd have to watch it on the website.

01:32:34.000 It's annoying.

01:32:35.000 I don't want to do that, and I don't want to sign up for TikTok.

01:32:37.000 So I don't have it, and so I don't click those links.

01:32:39.000 But if someone sends you a YouTube link, it just starts working.

01:32:42.000 Yeah.

01:32:43.000 Instantly.

01:32:44.000 That's good.

01:32:45.000 You don't have to have a YouTube app on your phone.

01:32:47.000 It just shows you the thing.

01:32:48.000 You can go to YouTube from other websites, and it'll be like an embedded link, and you can watch YouTube without ever opening up a YouTube app.

01:32:55.000 I don't think I knew that about the TikTok thing, because I do send them to my brother Jimmy a lot, and he doesn't have TikTok, Facebook, nothing.

01:33:02.000 You can kind of watch them, but you've got to go to the website and ask you to download the app.

01:33:06.000 You're like, no thanks, China.

01:33:09.000 Fuck off.

01:33:10.000 Fuck off.

01:33:10.000 Fuck up, China.

01:33:12.000 I'm buying all the American propaganda.

01:33:14.000 I'm not going to your Chinese website to watch an open letter to America from Osama Bin Laden.

01:33:21.000 By the way, I'm going to Google that later and try to find it.

01:33:23.000 Want to hear the open letter to America?

01:33:24.000 Because they translate it.

01:33:26.000 See, the thing is, through AI, one of the really wild things about AI is it can seamlessly translate your voice and even your lip movements to other languages.

01:33:36.000 So they're going to do that with this podcast where they're going to translate this podcast to Spanish, German, and what was the other one, Jamie?

01:33:47.000 Was it India?

01:33:48.000 Was it Hindu?

01:33:49.000 No.

01:33:49.000 That's great.

01:33:50.000 French.

01:33:50.000 I think it's Spanish, German, and French.

01:33:52.000 I think that's it.

01:33:53.000 Is that right?

01:33:54.000 I think those are the three at first.

01:33:56.000 That's awesome.

01:33:57.000 Right.

01:33:58.000 So what they can do now, though, is they can translate like Hitler's speech.

01:34:02.000 So they've got Hitler's speeches that Hitler gave in German.

01:34:06.000 Yeah.

01:34:09.000 And you get to see it in English, and you're like, oh.

01:34:13.000 He sounds like Trump.

01:34:15.000 He doesn't sound nearly as radical as you thought he did.

01:34:20.000 I'm just kidding.

01:34:21.000 He doesn't sound like Trump.

01:34:21.000 He doesn't brag about himself.

01:34:24.000 Right.

01:34:24.000 He doesn't?

01:34:26.000 I thought he did.

01:34:26.000 He's not funny.

01:34:27.000 Trump is funny.

01:34:28.000 Trump is definitely funny.

01:34:29.000 He says funny things.

01:34:31.000 No one's like him.

01:34:32.000 But what he's doing is not like, we've got to kill the Jews.

01:34:36.000 That's what I thought it was all.

01:34:37.000 I thought it was all like, we've got to exterminate the Jews and kill them.

01:34:40.000 When you see those things, those speeches, that's not what he's saying.

01:34:44.000 You can't convince somebody just to say it outright.

01:34:46.000 You have to manipulate them first.

01:34:48.000 So he brought them in.

01:34:48.000 He really brainwashed them.

01:34:50.000 For sure.

01:34:50.000 And also, he's methed out of his mind.

01:34:53.000 Oh, really?

01:34:53.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:54.000 Hitler was on all kinds of amphetamines.

01:34:56.000 Literally the only...

01:34:57.000 You didn't know that?

01:34:58.000 I heard it, but I didn't believe...

01:35:01.000 You can see proof of it.

01:35:02.000 Okay.

01:35:03.000 There's a video of him in the...

01:35:05.000 I think it was the 1936 Olympic Games.

01:35:09.000 And he's in Moscow, and he's just rocking.

01:35:14.000 Just sitting there rocking.

01:35:15.000 Look at this.

01:35:16.000 Look at him.

01:35:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:17.000 But see, I'll look at that and I'll think it's the film from back then.

01:35:21.000 Footage of Adolf Hitler, 1936 Olympics.

01:35:23.000 Some people did say this is sped up a bit, but he still isn't.

01:35:26.000 Yeah, whatever, dude.

01:35:27.000 Whatever.

01:35:28.000 Dude, I'm doing that now and I'm not on meth.

01:35:30.000 Just look at all the other people in the audience.

01:35:32.000 They're not moving like that.

01:35:33.000 Yeah, that's weird.

01:35:33.000 Bro, that guy's methed out.

01:35:35.000 Even if it's sped up, but it doesn't look sped up.

01:35:37.000 The guy next to him does not look like he's moving faster than normal at all.

01:35:42.000 Well, maybe he does.

01:35:43.000 Maybe he does.

01:35:44.000 That's creepy.

01:35:45.000 Look at the way that guy lifted up his binoculars.

01:35:48.000 It looks a little bit sped up.

01:35:49.000 Like maybe one and a half speed.

01:35:51.000 Something's off.

01:35:52.000 You know how sometimes people watch podcasts at one and a half speed?

01:35:56.000 Yeah, I've seen that.

01:35:57.000 I was watching this YouTube video where these guys were watching another YouTube video, but they were watching it at one and a half speed.

01:36:05.000 And I was like, wow, that sounds weird.

01:36:07.000 And then I realized what they were doing.

01:36:08.000 I'm like, oh, they just speeded up to get to the point quicker.

01:36:11.000 Yeah.

01:36:11.000 When I was in high school, I got a little bit obsessed with Hitler.

01:36:16.000 Literally, I was a bad student, terrible student.

01:36:19.000 The only thing that piqued my interest is this creepy guy was able to run five countries, get five countries to believe what he was saying and do what he was saying.

01:36:30.000 He was conquering these people.

01:36:31.000 And I'm like, this is a real person?

01:36:33.000 I was oblivious to everything.

01:36:35.000 So I started getting good grades because I was paying attention.

01:36:38.000 And my mom was like...

01:36:40.000 Just like during the pandemic, she's like, remember when you loved Hitler?

01:36:43.000 I'm like, no!

01:36:45.000 No one loved Hitler.

01:36:47.000 I was just...

01:36:48.000 Well, listen, also back then when you were a kid, that was 50 years after the war.

01:36:53.000 Right!

01:36:53.000 Which is like, it just happened.

01:36:54.000 Yeah.

01:36:55.000 So you're looking at like your grandpa's age.

01:36:57.000 Fucking serious?

01:36:58.000 Yeah.

01:36:58.000 Your grandpa was alive when this happened.

01:37:00.000 Like, what?

01:37:02.000 Yeah, he was in the war.

01:37:04.000 Yeah, so it's like, wait, what?

01:37:06.000 This is a real person?

01:37:07.000 Like, I just didn't, because it would seem so far away, and then you're like, this just happened.

01:37:12.000 Yeah, it seems completely insane.

01:37:15.000 Yeah.

01:37:15.000 It seems completely insane that that just happened.

01:37:18.000 So the point is, now they can take this Osama Bin Laden speeches and they can translate that into English.

01:37:25.000 Do you use AI for anything else?

01:37:28.000 I don't use it.

01:37:29.000 My friend is trying to get me to download this app.

01:37:33.000 ChatGPT?

01:37:33.000 Yes.

01:37:35.000 She says it every day.

01:37:37.000 Duncan uses it constantly.

01:37:39.000 She says it fixes her letters.

01:37:40.000 If you hate someone, Duncan will make an audio recording of you praising that person.

01:37:47.000 And talking about how you want to go down on her, and I'm not even gay, but there's something about the sweet smell of her pheromones that excites me on a cellular level.

01:38:00.000 Anytime anybody is mad at somebody, he will make some ridiculous audio recording, some satirical audio recording of Duncanisms.

01:38:11.000 Because it's almost as smart as Duncan.

01:38:14.000 Almost.

01:38:15.000 To me, I just put him on a pedestal.

01:38:16.000 I just...

01:38:17.000 Even, like, he would torture me when we were working together, because he's the talent coordinator.

01:38:22.000 We called him the Sheik, because he came in after Princess Corrie.

01:38:26.000 Ugh!

01:38:27.000 He hated the nickname, he hated the whole job, everything.

01:38:30.000 Well, he's just a comic that wanted a job.

01:38:32.000 Exactly.

01:38:32.000 And he says that, you know, when I was waiting tables at the store, I would be very harsh to comics, right?

01:38:41.000 And especially if I liked them, I would fuck with them a lot.

01:38:45.000 And he said that he got off stage and I said to him, I don't know what that was, but it wasn't comedy.

01:38:54.000 I'm like, I did not, because Duncan's one of my favorites, but I probably did.

01:38:57.000 But you did as fun, for fun.

01:38:59.000 I probably did.

01:39:00.000 For fun.

01:39:00.000 We all did that to each other.

01:39:01.000 It was a good time.

01:39:02.000 It was part of the fun of performing together.

01:39:05.000 Yeah.

01:39:05.000 Yeah, but it's like, what Duncan was, was like this, like, just a completely unique person.

01:39:13.000 Like, what are you doing here?

01:39:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:39:15.000 You know, you should be in an ashram somewhere.

01:39:17.000 What's in the box?

01:39:19.000 Little hobo.

01:39:20.000 Oh, okay.

01:39:20.000 Bring his fucking doll everywhere.

01:39:22.000 Ah!

01:39:23.000 Someone stole Little Hobo and he replaced it with a better Little Hobo.

01:39:26.000 I know.

01:39:27.000 I was very upset when I heard Little Hobo was stolen because that was like one of my favorite things to watch in the original room because it would do the music, you know, the whole thing.

01:39:34.000 It was so good.

01:39:35.000 Dice would sit in the back and just be screaming.

01:39:37.000 It's his favorite thing ever because I was like, you have to see this.

01:39:40.000 And then he came in to see it and he's like, like this to Duncan worships him.

01:39:45.000 No, it's incredible.

01:39:46.000 But Duncan is just a unique guy.

01:39:49.000 There's no other Duncans.

01:39:50.000 I don't know anybody like him.

01:39:51.000 I know people that, like, try to pretend that they're that guy, but that's really him.

01:39:55.000 He did call me an old mayor for a while, so.

01:39:57.000 Mayor.

01:39:59.000 Motherfucker.

01:40:00.000 Fucking kill you, Duncan.

01:40:02.000 But you were always really good to go to.

01:40:04.000 I could always ask you if someone was coming in from out of town, if they were any good.

01:40:08.000 You were the one who would give...

01:40:09.000 Because a lot of people would bullshit.

01:40:11.000 Because they were thinking, maybe this guy's going to get a sitcom, maybe I'll be on a sitcom.

01:40:15.000 I'll probably say, oh, he was great.

01:40:16.000 It was good set.

01:40:17.000 Solid material.

01:40:19.000 And I go to you, you're like, fucking hack.

01:40:21.000 He's a hack.

01:40:22.000 I go, really?

01:40:22.000 Yeah, he sucks.

01:40:23.000 I'm like, wow, really?

01:40:25.000 You're like, yeah, yeah, terrible.

01:40:26.000 As a comic, I feel like when people ask me, like, hey, so-and-so's coming in from New York, and I'm like, oh, wow!

01:40:35.000 Because I don't want to...

01:40:37.000 Lie.

01:40:38.000 Right, but I'm also, when I was waiting tables, I had no steak.

01:40:41.000 Right.

01:40:41.000 Like, I wasn't a comic.

01:40:42.000 Exactly.

01:40:43.000 So it's like, okay, I can say whatever I want, because I'm in a different field, but now I'm in the same field.

01:40:49.000 So what if I'm coming to New York, and somebody's like, she kind of sucks.

01:40:53.000 Right.

01:40:54.000 You know, whatever.

01:40:55.000 But then be undeniable.

01:40:57.000 Yeah.

01:40:58.000 So I get nervous that it's going to backfire.

01:41:01.000 It will.

01:41:03.000 It will.

01:41:04.000 That's how it works.

01:41:05.000 It will.

01:41:06.000 If you talk shit, people will look at you.

01:41:08.000 Yeah, it's true.

01:41:09.000 If you watch groups of people that have developed a hater community, that hater community will always target them.

01:41:15.000 They'll eventually turn on them.

01:41:17.000 Because you've developed a bunch of attack dogs.

01:41:20.000 Yeah, but now people, like, in a text thread, they'll ask about people, and, you know, we always fuck with each other in the text threads, and we can be very vicious, and, you know, send horrible shit to each other.

01:41:32.000 And so, you know, somebody brought up a comic from New York, and I go, oh, they're really good.

01:41:36.000 Oh, that's the new Eleanor.

01:41:38.000 Oh, they're really good.

01:41:39.000 And I'm like, you go fuck yourself.

01:41:41.000 Because now I'm watching people in a different light.

01:41:43.000 Yeah.

01:41:44.000 Yeah, you're being a little more lenient.

01:41:46.000 Yeah, but there are people that are objectively hacks.

01:41:49.000 Oh, and you still see them clear as a fucking, I mean, anything.

01:41:53.000 They're just like plug and play.

01:41:55.000 Yeah.

01:41:56.000 They like find a topic that everyone's talking about and talk about that topic.

01:41:59.000 That topic?

01:42:00.000 No unique take.

01:42:01.000 Zero unique take, but also sometimes it's internet jokes.

01:42:06.000 And I'm like, dude, you're getting away with this?

01:42:09.000 Rick Ingram said something about a comic that's getting a lot of press right now, whatever you want to say, for their special.

01:42:18.000 And he was like, this is vaudevillian.

01:42:22.000 Oh my god, it does go that far back.

01:42:25.000 I'm like, yes, that is accurate.

01:42:28.000 But I don't try to shit on as many people.

01:42:32.000 But I do see it still.

01:42:34.000 Yeah, it's sometimes better to keep moving.

01:42:36.000 But sometimes you have to be honest.

01:42:37.000 Sure.

01:42:38.000 There's a problem when you're running a club.

01:42:41.000 Oh god, yeah.

01:42:42.000 Thank God I have Adam.

01:42:44.000 That club is so fucking amazing.

01:42:47.000 It's pretty fun.

01:42:47.000 I can't.

01:42:48.000 Last week, I mean, two weeks, whenever I was here, I'm still not off that high.

01:42:52.000 Still not off that high.

01:42:53.000 And getting to do it with Dom Irera, even fucking better.

01:42:57.000 Yeah.

01:42:57.000 It's a fun place.

01:42:58.000 Yeah.

01:42:58.000 So I give up all the power to Adam.

01:43:01.000 I basically say, look, you know what you're doing.

01:43:03.000 You're really good at it.

01:43:04.000 You decide who's booked here or not.

01:43:07.000 And we talk about it.

01:43:07.000 We talk about certain things.

01:43:09.000 Yeah.

01:43:09.000 When someone hits me up and they're like, this is not the level that we're looking for, it's hard to say.

01:43:17.000 What do you say to that person?

01:43:20.000 You've lost the way.

01:43:22.000 I don't know what you got, but it's not good.

01:43:24.000 Whatever you just did, it wasn't comedy.

01:43:28.000 I don't know what that was.

01:43:29.000 But the thing is, it's like, especially if you're in a scene that sucks, like if you're out there, that's one of the things that's the most beneficial thing about the club is that you're involved with a bunch of other comics now.

01:43:42.000 Sure.

01:43:43.000 You know, it's a scene of like-minded people.

01:43:46.000 Yeah.

01:43:46.000 And everyone's kind of doing the same kind of thing, you know?

01:43:49.000 And you get to like...

01:43:51.000 You get to feed off of each other's success and energy.

01:43:55.000 There's a lot of comics out there that do not have access to that, and they get stagnant.

01:43:59.000 Get stuck in this little...

01:44:01.000 Like, I thought about this job I didn't get a long time ago, and then I saw a person who got the job, and I was like, oh, I'm glad I didn't get that job.

01:44:08.000 It was a writing thing, but now they're stuck in that little...

01:44:12.000 That's the Velvet Prison.

01:44:13.000 Right.

01:44:14.000 And they can't get out.

01:44:15.000 That's the velvet prison.

01:44:16.000 It's a bad prison to get in.

01:44:18.000 Because you get a good living and then all of a sudden during the pandemic, all that shit got shut down and all those guys were like, oh no.

01:44:24.000 And I can't go on the road anymore because nobody knows who I am because I've been working in a writer's room for 20 years.

01:44:29.000 And now I'm watching that person try to bring themselves back and you're like, the paddles aren't working.

01:44:36.000 And you also have a family now and you have a mortgage.

01:44:38.000 You're not a 21-year-old guy on the road where you can just kind of like sleep with two other dudes in a hotel room and crash on the floor.

01:44:46.000 I'm going to sleep in the tub because everybody snores.

01:44:50.000 We did wild things back then.

01:44:52.000 I slept in a storage room once.

01:44:54.000 I did a gig on an island and they had cots in a storage room.

01:44:58.000 It was like canned tomatoes and shit.

01:45:00.000 We had a bathroom that we could shit in.

01:45:03.000 And then there was nothing there.

01:45:06.000 There was no hotel.

01:45:07.000 It didn't exist.

01:45:08.000 There's so many gigs like that.

01:45:09.000 But those, they build character.

01:45:12.000 Those are important.

01:45:13.000 Oh, certainly.

01:45:13.000 You can't do those when you're 50. Certainly build character.

01:45:16.000 No, but I will say this.

01:45:17.000 I do kick myself in the ass a lot because I didn't start when I first moved to LA. You know, I waited tables 12 years, then left, came back a year and a half later as a comic.

01:45:27.000 That's mental illness.

01:45:28.000 I know.

01:45:29.000 I get it.

01:45:30.000 It's not.

01:45:30.000 You just didn't jump.

01:45:32.000 But that's weird.

01:45:33.000 Like all those years, no interest in it, no nothing.

01:45:36.000 That's the weird part because you didn't have an interest.

01:45:38.000 No, and I think it was when Freddie Soto passed, that was the jarring moment that was like, what are you doing?

01:45:45.000 And he would say it constantly.

01:45:47.000 You should be doing stand-up.

01:45:48.000 Come on the road.

01:45:49.000 That kind of shit.

01:45:50.000 And a lot of comics said it.

01:45:52.000 But it was because we would fuck around in the kitchen.

01:45:55.000 I mean, I'm doing bits in the kitchen with you looking for a stamp.

01:46:00.000 Illinois used to always do this thing where I would say, hey, I've got to send a letter.

01:46:05.000 Do you have a stamp?

01:46:05.000 And she had an apron.

01:46:07.000 She'd put her hand in her apron and just start fingering herself.

01:46:10.000 And I'm like, are you finding the stamp?

01:46:16.000 People around us would be like, what the fuck are you guys doing?

01:46:19.000 I'm like, are you okay?

01:46:21.000 And it was just like this running gag that we did for like five years.

01:46:27.000 So stupid!

01:46:28.000 We get bored!

01:46:30.000 You're doing comedy in the kitchen, but we're just fucking around.

01:46:33.000 We were trying to find things that would entertain our brains.

01:46:36.000 Right, right.

01:46:36.000 But you were always doing it with us, so then you did the pro wrestling, and then you did stand-up after the pro wrestling.

01:46:41.000 Yeah.

01:46:42.000 That's a bizarro.

01:46:44.000 But it worked.

01:46:45.000 Now you're a headliner.

01:46:46.000 It worked.

01:46:47.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:46:47.000 I'm loving it.

01:46:48.000 I mean, probably the...

01:46:49.000 I got lucky with, like, going on the road with Dice.

01:46:53.000 We only had a few uncomfortable encounters where I had to share a room with him and his ex-wife.

01:46:58.000 That's hilarious.

01:47:00.000 I'd be like, I'm on the couch.

01:47:00.000 I'm not listening.

01:47:01.000 I swear.

01:47:03.000 I've never heard any of this before.

01:47:05.000 That's crazy.

01:47:06.000 Dice made you share a room with them.

01:47:08.000 I'll tell you what happened.

01:47:09.000 He was already Dice.

01:47:10.000 He already sold out masks to Square Garden.

01:47:12.000 It was doing great.

01:47:12.000 It was my fault.

01:47:13.000 I was supposed to leave at a certain time, and the plane got delayed.

01:47:18.000 Not my fault, but whatever.

01:47:19.000 So it was like, oh, shit.

01:47:21.000 That was the only uncomfortable.

01:47:24.000 Other than that, we're in five-star hotels, so I'm spoiled.

01:47:27.000 Right.

01:47:27.000 You know, I get that little one thing and it was, you know, oh God, what is this?

01:47:33.000 Then I go on the road as a headliner by myself and I'm like, oh, this is different.

01:47:37.000 Not as bougie, but we're getting there.

01:47:40.000 Are you bringing people with you?

01:47:42.000 Not yet.

01:47:42.000 That's why I want to make this like my special.

01:47:44.000 I needed to go up because I think that's a great asset.

01:47:47.000 Me and Andrew have so much fun on the road because we're such good friends.

01:47:51.000 And we fuck around, do those videos all day.

01:47:54.000 And so we make the most of it.

01:47:57.000 But when you are on the road and you have to use people you don't know, and they're fine, but having your friends is really a great way to travel.

01:48:05.000 It's the only way.

01:48:06.000 It really is.

01:48:07.000 But you've got to get to a certain level to be able to pay them to do that.

01:48:12.000 Yeah, I started doing it before I really could afford it.

01:48:15.000 Because I realized at a certain point in time, it's better to have people on the road with you than to make...

01:48:22.000 Well, I could afford it.

01:48:23.000 Let me correct myself.

01:48:25.000 I could afford it, but it cost me money.

01:48:28.000 Yeah, you're losing money on your gig.

01:48:30.000 Yeah, because I wasn't getting a lot of money back then either.

01:48:32.000 So it's like if I knew that the club wasn't willing to pay airfare and hotel and pay an opening act a good amount of money, more than they're getting normally when they would be working at their club.

01:48:45.000 So then I started bringing guys on the road with me.

01:48:48.000 And I was like, oh, this is so much better.

01:48:49.000 Because then we're going out to dinner together.

01:48:51.000 We're laughing.

01:48:52.000 We're in the green room together.

01:48:53.000 We're laughing.

01:48:54.000 We do shows.

01:48:55.000 We're laughing.

01:48:56.000 We go to the airport.

01:48:56.000 We're laughing.

01:48:57.000 It's a lot less lonely.

01:48:58.000 It's fun.

01:48:59.000 It changes the entire gig.

01:49:01.000 And it makes the gig a great time.

01:49:03.000 And, you know, I'm out there with Duncan and Joey and Ari.

01:49:06.000 So they're family.

01:49:07.000 Yeah.

01:49:09.000 We were having a great time.

01:49:11.000 It was a great time.

01:49:12.000 Yeah.

01:49:13.000 It was just fun.

01:49:14.000 And it just makes the whole thing more of an experience.

01:49:18.000 And then you're getting to watch them grow as well.

01:49:20.000 And now they're headlining.

01:49:21.000 They're doing it.

01:49:21.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:22.000 Like, everybody is moving up.

01:49:24.000 And that's a positive.

01:49:26.000 Exactly.

01:49:26.000 Everybody's learning from the road.

01:49:29.000 But it's also, it's like, just the experience of the job is, we're all like, oh, we're so lucky we get to do this.

01:49:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:35.000 We do that all the time at the club here.

01:49:37.000 It's like, well, God, we're so lucky.

01:49:39.000 We're so lucky.

01:49:40.000 Last night, me and Steve Small were like, we're so lucky to be here.

01:49:43.000 We're just in the green room loving it because it's just so great to see.

01:49:47.000 It's family.

01:49:48.000 It is.

01:49:48.000 It's family.

01:49:49.000 And when you meet somebody on the road, like you go to another city and you see somebody that you kind of came up with or whatever, you're like, hey, you're like a dog.

01:49:56.000 Like, let me hang out.

01:49:58.000 Let's go hang out.

01:49:59.000 No, there's something extra special about being on the road with some friends from a different city.

01:50:03.000 Like one guy's working at a local club.

01:50:06.000 When's your show over?

01:50:07.000 10 o'clock.

01:50:07.000 All right, let's meet up.

01:50:08.000 Oh, you have two shows?

01:50:09.000 What a pussy.

01:50:10.000 You know, like, I'm sorry, I'm still...

01:50:12.000 Yeah.

01:50:13.000 But those days are, you know, like, it's hard to appreciate it while it's happening.

01:50:19.000 But that's...

01:50:20.000 The rarest of rare in the world of occupations because you do a thing that is really fun to do.

01:50:27.000 You love doing it.

01:50:28.000 And other people get a great joy out of it.

01:50:31.000 Like the people go and they feel better.

01:50:33.000 And you're doing it with other friends who are also doing it and also enjoying it.

01:50:38.000 And everybody's just having a party.

01:50:40.000 And you're just making the whole journey just more fun.

01:50:44.000 Just a better experience.

01:50:47.000 Another fortunate thing is Dice loves doing clubs.

01:50:52.000 He can do theaters, whatever, but he loves doing these little clubs.

01:50:55.000 So what he'll do is he does the early shows.

01:50:57.000 He doesn't like to do two shows.

01:50:58.000 So I headline the late shows.

01:51:00.000 Nice.

01:51:00.000 So it's like we're still getting to hang out and then I'm meeting a lot of cool like locals from different areas so that's a little easier in that like I'm still hanging out with my buddy and then I'm meeting new people.

01:51:12.000 That is nice.

01:51:13.000 Yeah so I am very very fortunate to work with him.

01:51:17.000 Where do you go up in LA nowadays?

01:51:19.000 I'm always at the store, of course, but I do the Laugh Factory, the Improv, and sometimes I'll even go do the Ha Ha.

01:51:28.000 I haven't done it in a while.

01:51:29.000 The Ha Ha is a good break.

01:51:31.000 But I love the Ha Ha, too.

01:51:33.000 I never fucked with Flappers.

01:51:34.000 I think I only went up on Flappers once.

01:51:36.000 No, I haven't.

01:51:37.000 I went up once there, I think.

01:51:38.000 The Ice House, they say, is all revamped.

01:51:41.000 I haven't done it, to be honest, since you were there.

01:51:44.000 Yeah, that was a great spot.

01:51:46.000 Well, that's where I used to go when I got kicked out of the store.

01:51:48.000 I spent a lot of my time with Ice House.

01:51:50.000 My fucking nerves with that story.

01:51:52.000 Yeah, it was a fun time.

01:51:53.000 It was a fun piece of history.

01:51:55.000 It was fun.

01:51:56.000 No, but yeah, we were doing the Friday Night Chronicles or the Ice House Chronicles.

01:52:01.000 I'm sorry.

01:52:01.000 Yeah, we did the Ice House and I did the improv quite a bit too.

01:52:06.000 In Provintown.

01:52:07.000 But I always miss the hang of the store.

01:52:10.000 The hang of the store was always the different thing.

01:52:12.000 We had that quite a bit at the Ice House.

01:52:13.000 We had a good hang at the Ice House.

01:52:15.000 Well, say you built that with your club, for sure.

01:52:17.000 The hang is phenomenal.

01:52:19.000 The shows itself, great as well, but it's like, that hang is so cool, too.

01:52:24.000 It's important.

01:52:25.000 But you brought that important, because I do feel like, even if I work the other clubs, I do wind up back at the store, because they have more of the space to hang.

01:52:35.000 But, you know, some nights you go and you go, oh, it's not tonight.

01:52:40.000 And then some nights you're like, oh, okay, this is like an old, you know...

01:52:44.000 Yeah.

01:52:44.000 Well, that was always how it was even back in the day.

01:52:47.000 You'd go down there and no one would be there and be like, ew.

01:52:49.000 A few haters.

01:52:51.000 Yeah.

01:52:52.000 And as a waitress, I'd be waiting for eight people so we could start the show.

01:52:56.000 So it was fucking rough times.

01:52:57.000 But those nights sometimes were like the best.

01:53:01.000 Sometimes.

01:53:02.000 Everybody would show up and we just hang in the kitchen.

01:53:06.000 Well, that's where Holtzman developed.

01:53:09.000 Oh, God, yeah.

01:53:10.000 Those crazy late night sets.

01:53:12.000 He's another one.

01:53:13.000 I remember him showcasing.

01:53:15.000 He's killing it out here.

01:53:17.000 I did his show when I was here.

01:53:18.000 I came in a little bit early and I did his show on a Thursday night and the crowd was phenomenal.

01:53:25.000 They love him.

01:53:25.000 And I realized, I said something a little like, you know, out of control, and then it got a big, I go, oh, this is a Holtzman show.

01:53:33.000 Okay, because for a second, I was like, yo, you're not opening for, chill out.

01:53:37.000 This isn't a crowd that expects, and then I realized, oh, it's Holtzman.

01:53:40.000 And I remember him showcasing for Mitzi, and, you know, she was passing on him, like not passing him, if you will.

01:53:48.000 And he'd come in the back, and he'd crush, like murder, and he'd come right in her face, and he'd be like, was that good enough?

01:53:54.000 Was that good enough?

01:53:57.000 I'm like, why are you yelling at Mitzi Shore?

01:53:59.000 And she passed him in the belly room.

01:54:02.000 That's where she passed him.

01:54:04.000 It was like a whole thing she put him through.

01:54:07.000 She really put him through the ringer, but it was great.

01:54:09.000 And he just would come in and come in.

01:54:12.000 We had so much fun with him.

01:54:14.000 Remember after September 11th, she wouldn't let him go out for two weeks?

01:54:18.000 Because he would bring it up.

01:54:19.000 Bring it up?

01:54:21.000 He was going to open with it.

01:54:22.000 Of course!

01:54:23.000 He did it with the Oklahoma City bombers, bombing, and he did it with...

01:54:27.000 The woman who drowned her kids, Susan Smith.

01:54:31.000 We talked about the night after all the Harvey Weinstein shit came out.

01:54:36.000 I don't know if I should say what I should say.

01:54:38.000 Whatever's in the news.

01:54:39.000 I'm not going to say what the bit is.

01:54:40.000 Don't say what he said.

01:54:41.000 But anything.

01:54:42.000 Me and Adam were in the back like, they're going to lock the doors.

01:54:44.000 We're done.

01:54:45.000 We're done here.

01:54:46.000 I didn't see what he said about Israel after October 7th.

01:54:50.000 I was not there, but I could only imagine.

01:54:53.000 He did not leave that alone.

01:54:54.000 No, he didn't.

01:54:55.000 He's a wild fucker.

01:54:56.000 And he's putting these road gigs up.

01:54:59.000 He's going and doing road gigs and then puts videos up of people leaving the show.

01:55:02.000 It's like people getting upset.

01:55:04.000 Oh, it's hysterical.

01:55:05.000 It's my new favorite thing.

01:55:06.000 Because, you know, I had to deal with it.

01:55:08.000 And back in the day, they would walk out, can I see the manager?

01:55:12.000 It became a thing I used to fuck with Holtzman.

01:55:15.000 And you'd see he's saying stuff people aren't loving it.

01:55:20.000 And I'd be in the back and be like, can Can I see a manager, please?

01:55:23.000 And he, you shut up, bitch!

01:55:24.000 And he'd go crazy.

01:55:26.000 But it was like a...

01:55:27.000 Right.

01:55:27.000 I feel like Donnell.

01:55:28.000 I used to heckle.

01:55:30.000 But it was a bit.

01:55:31.000 It was a running gag we did at the store a lot.

01:55:33.000 We used to do a running gag with Brian.

01:55:35.000 I would say, tell us about your gay son.

01:55:36.000 Of course.

01:55:37.000 It's my favorite thing to say.

01:55:39.000 But people would say it too early.

01:55:41.000 Like, not yet!

01:55:42.000 No, you gotta wait on that one.

01:55:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:55:44.000 And he would go, I'm proud of my boy.

01:55:47.000 That's my boy!

01:55:48.000 He would just go into this bit and you're just like, what the fuck are you saying?

01:55:52.000 Sometimes he would add crazy shit to it.

01:55:55.000 We were at dinner.

01:55:56.000 We were at Mitzi Shore's house.

01:55:59.000 Art Linkletter was there.

01:56:02.000 Eleanor Kerrigan.

01:56:03.000 He'd put random people in there with bizarro historians.

01:56:07.000 And then I remember Mitzi used to fuck with him and make him follow certain people.

01:56:12.000 So he would follow Tanya Lee Davis.

01:56:15.000 I don't know if you remember her.

01:56:16.000 Very funny.

01:56:18.000 Little person.

01:56:19.000 Thank you.

01:56:19.000 I couldn't remember the...

01:56:21.000 Proper term.

01:56:22.000 And she'd crush, right?

01:56:23.000 And then she'd get off, and she had a chair on stage and everything, and Mitzi would be sitting in the back, Holtzman would go up, throw the chair down.

01:56:30.000 What kind of shit is it?

01:56:32.000 What is this, a circus?

01:56:33.000 Who's up next, the bearded woman?

01:56:36.000 He couldn't handle that Tanya Lee was in front of him.

01:56:40.000 And Tanya knew he was doing it, so she'd laugh too.

01:56:42.000 She didn't care.

01:56:43.000 But he'd throw the chair down and just yell at Mitzi for booking little people.

01:56:47.000 And Mitzi loved it.

01:56:48.000 She thought it was the greatest thing ever.

01:56:50.000 And Tanya would laugh too, so she didn't care.

01:56:52.000 She loved chaos.

01:56:53.000 She really did.

01:56:54.000 But it was fun to even make it more fun, like a drama.

01:56:58.000 Like Tanya's walking away like, what the fuck?

01:57:00.000 But she knew it was a gag, so she didn't care.

01:57:02.000 And she's killing it.

01:57:04.000 She still tours.

01:57:05.000 But it's just so funny.

01:57:07.000 I would love to put them back together just a bunch of years later.

01:57:11.000 Because it's got to be like 20-some years.

01:57:13.000 I've been doing this 16 years.

01:57:16.000 That's crazy.

01:57:16.000 I know.

01:57:18.000 That's legit.

01:57:19.000 When you get over 10, it's like getting your PhD.

01:57:21.000 Really?

01:57:22.000 Yeah, 10 years is like you're a real comic.

01:57:23.000 I cannot.

01:57:24.000 It seems like it.

01:57:25.000 I mean, people have done it quicker, but you got to be really obsessed and maybe you have a special talent.

01:57:31.000 Pretty lucky too.

01:57:32.000 Could be lucky, but it also could be you are used to talking in front of people.

01:57:37.000 Like maybe you were in AA. Like a lot of guys from AA became really good comics.

01:57:42.000 Yeah.

01:57:42.000 Especially in Boston, because they'd go up in front of people and tell stories about being hammered and all the shit they did.

01:57:48.000 So now I got to find my car!

01:57:50.000 And everybody's laughing.

01:57:51.000 And it's funny, but it's sad.

01:57:52.000 It's funny.

01:57:52.000 But it's hilarious at the same time.

01:57:54.000 A lot of really good comics started out in AA. Yeah.

01:57:57.000 And also, they had a lot of experiences to draw from, because they had this crazy life, but now they're sober.

01:58:03.000 So they had sort of a theme when they would go on stage.

01:58:07.000 That was like a cheat code.

01:58:08.000 And I saw some guys get good really quick that way.

01:58:11.000 But it seems like 10 years is the number.

01:58:13.000 That's the spot.

01:58:14.000 That's the sweet spot.

01:58:15.000 And even then, at 10 years, you're still like, are you any good?

01:58:18.000 But you're trying to sort it out.

01:58:21.000 You're trying to figure out what it is that you do exactly.

01:58:24.000 I feel like that at 16 years.

01:58:26.000 Yeah, it takes a while.

01:58:27.000 I still feel like that sometimes.

01:58:29.000 I'm like, what am I doing?

01:58:30.000 Sometimes I just reevaluate my stuff.

01:58:33.000 I love to be inspired.

01:58:36.000 When I'm inspired, the key is acting on that.

01:58:39.000 If I get inspired, if someone really funny is at the club and I see them, I'm like, that was great.

01:58:44.000 Now I want to go write.

01:58:45.000 Right.

01:58:45.000 But you got to really like go act on that like right while the inspiration is still while you got that ember.

01:58:53.000 Keep it lit and then go with it.

01:58:56.000 But, you know, it's like you...

01:59:01.000 You always should be fucking with it.

01:59:03.000 You're always looking at it and tweaking it.

01:59:06.000 Me and Norman were talking about that the other day.

01:59:09.000 He's like, does it ever get to Groundhog Day?

01:59:11.000 And I was like, not if you're writing new shit.

01:59:14.000 It doesn't.

01:59:14.000 Oh, and he writes constantly.

01:59:16.000 Constantly.

01:59:17.000 So there's always some new thing you're fucking with.

01:59:21.000 We do a lot of shows in New York together, and I see him at every show.

01:59:26.000 If I'm at New York Comedy Club, if I'm at the Cellar, wherever Mark's on the show, I'm like, this is great.

01:59:31.000 No matter what, he's still out there.

01:59:34.000 I think the night before he did, he just did a big one in New York.

01:59:38.000 Not the Carnegie, because that's where I did, but I was with Tice.

01:59:42.000 He was doing a big one and he was like, you know, do I take the subway like a normal?

01:59:47.000 And I'm like, take the car.

01:59:48.000 Get a nice car or something and take it there.

01:59:51.000 I forget what venue he was doing, but it was giant and it was a big deal for him.

01:59:55.000 And he's still at the stand the night before, like, doing shows.

01:59:59.000 And he's like, well, I'll see you guys after the big show.

02:00:02.000 Comedy.

02:00:03.000 Yeah, he's so down to earth, which I love because you're still out there grinding.

02:00:06.000 And I remember one night I was at the cellar and I was mad at myself because I didn't do a newer bit.

02:00:11.000 And he goes, Pussy.

02:00:13.000 Like, he didn't even have a blanket.

02:00:15.000 I was like, you motherfucker.

02:00:17.000 But okay.

02:00:18.000 But he's right.

02:00:19.000 Like, do the bit.

02:00:20.000 Take the chance.

02:00:20.000 He's just always on, too.

02:00:22.000 Yeah.

02:00:23.000 And when we do Protect Our Parks, he's just like, he's like just a pun machine.

02:00:27.000 Half of him, like, you can't even address him because he would just, like, throw everything off.

02:00:30.000 You'd never get a sentence out.

02:00:33.000 He thinks it in such a different way.

02:00:35.000 He really is silly.

02:00:36.000 His notes are a clear sign of mental illness.

02:00:38.000 Unbelievable.

02:00:39.000 Those things are insane, right?

02:00:41.000 It's like that.

02:00:43.000 You can see in his back pocket.

02:00:44.000 I thought he had a booty from one side.

02:00:46.000 What the fuck are you doing?

02:00:48.000 It's just all flat on the other side.

02:00:49.000 They're all curved and straight.

02:00:50.000 Sweated on and shit.

02:00:51.000 He's been sitting on them for years.

02:00:53.000 I believe it.

02:00:54.000 Very strange guy.

02:00:55.000 We were going from the stand to the comedy cellar, and so we all piled in our buddy, this guy Greg Stone, also hilarious comic, and we jump in his car.

02:01:04.000 He's got kids.

02:01:05.000 So me and Mark were like wedged in baby seats kind of things.

02:01:08.000 Like we moved them, but we were like wedged, and he's like, is this good for you?

02:01:13.000 Always on, and we're just literally on each other's laps, like squished in poor Greg Stone's car.

02:01:18.000 That's hilarious.

02:01:19.000 Yeah, and then we all did sets at the Cellar after.

02:01:22.000 But I was like, I hope he doesn't watch, because, you know, I don't want him to judge.

02:01:26.000 Call me a pussy for not doing my new shit.

02:01:29.000 But I worry about, because I talk so much shit about comics, that...

02:01:33.000 Right.

02:01:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:01:34.000 Well, that's why you got to really make sure you dot your I's and cross your T's.

02:01:38.000 Yep.

02:01:38.000 So you can watch my special and you can see that I work really hard.

02:01:42.000 And where's the special?

02:01:43.000 Tell people how to get it.

02:01:44.000 It's on YouTube.

02:01:45.000 What's it called?

02:01:45.000 It's called No Country for Old Women.

02:01:49.000 That's a great name.

02:01:50.000 I know.

02:01:51.000 And it came out March 1st, so it was like Women's Month.

02:01:54.000 And I was like, if you don't watch it, you hate women.

02:01:57.000 No, I'm just kidding.

02:01:57.000 Is that March?

02:01:58.000 Women's Month is longer than Black History Month.

02:02:00.000 Well, we're women.

02:02:01.000 Oh, look how they spelled my name.

02:02:03.000 No country for old women.

02:02:08.000 Do you fucking believe that?

02:02:09.000 That's how my name looked?

02:02:10.000 Was that on purpose or is it a joke?

02:02:12.000 No.

02:02:12.000 They didn't know.

02:02:13.000 We had a windstorm the night before and it blew those letters off.

02:02:17.000 Oh no.

02:02:18.000 How fucking crazy is that?

02:02:19.000 That's hilarious.

02:02:20.000 Yeah.

02:02:21.000 And I did it in the OR. We kept the lights on.

02:02:23.000 We did good.

02:02:23.000 It looks beautiful.

02:02:25.000 The lights look incredible.

02:02:26.000 My friend Lexi Shoemaker was the director and she really...

02:02:29.000 You see the light on the bottom of the stage?

02:02:31.000 It kind of brightens it up a little bit.

02:02:32.000 There she is popping the couch.

02:02:34.000 Wow.

02:02:35.000 The nerve of her to do this.

02:02:38.000 That's amazing.

02:02:39.000 It's really good.

02:02:39.000 I'm very, very proud of it.

02:02:41.000 And I love the name, of course, because I love being silly.

02:02:45.000 The name's awesome.

02:02:46.000 But you know what it is?

02:02:47.000 Because we were talking about women, you know, people say, if you talk about sex, if you talk about this, politics, whatever it is, they do tend to show, oh, she always talks about her, you know, sex.

02:02:56.000 She always talks about this.

02:02:57.000 She always talks about that.

02:02:58.000 Fine.

02:02:59.000 And they always say, you're old.

02:03:01.000 Yeah, I know.

02:03:02.000 And I'm fucking fine with it.

02:03:04.000 Like, I'm happy to almost be dead.

02:03:06.000 Like, I don't know what else you want me to do.

02:03:09.000 Well, people are just always trying to find some way to shit on you.

02:03:12.000 Yeah.

02:03:12.000 Because you're the person on stage getting attention.

02:03:14.000 I'm old.

02:03:15.000 Yeah.

02:03:15.000 In my title.

02:03:17.000 Yeah.

02:03:17.000 Deal with it, fucker.

02:03:18.000 Yeah, deal with it, fucker.

02:03:20.000 All right, Eleanor.

02:03:21.000 Am I going to see you tonight?

02:03:22.000 Yes.

02:03:22.000 I'm excited.

02:03:23.000 All right.

02:03:24.000 Thank you, my friend.

02:03:25.000 You got more things to tell people?

02:03:27.000 No.

02:03:28.000 Oh, the Comedy Store podcast still.

02:03:30.000 We're still doing that.

02:03:31.000 Comedy Store podcast.

02:03:32.000 Nice.

02:03:33.000 And hopefully What's Up Doc with Jeff Danish will be back where we watch documentaries and reveal them.

02:03:37.000 We have so much fun doing it.

02:03:39.000 Oh, beautiful.

02:03:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:03:40.000 Cool.

02:03:40.000 All right.

02:03:42.000 Give everybody your Instagram?

02:03:44.000 Instagram, EJ Kerrigan.

02:03:45.000 And I think it's just EJ Kerrigan across the board.

02:03:48.000 Somebody else.

02:03:49.000 Yeah, Twitter.

02:03:50.000 TikTok.

02:03:51.000 Go ahead, China.

02:03:53.000 Get in there, China.

02:03:54.000 Get her information.

02:03:55.000 Okay.

02:03:55.000 I love you.

02:03:56.000 Love you very much.

02:03:57.000 All right, bye.

02:03:57.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 28, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2127 - Eleanor Kerrigan

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