The Joe Rogan Experience - March 29, 2024


Joe Rogan Experience #2128 - Joey Diaz


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 59 minutes

Words per Minute

187.69202

Word Count

33,600

Sentence Count

4,041

Misogynist Sentences

83

Hate Speech Sentences

63


Summary

In this episode, the boys talk about the Diddy scandal and conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Tupac Shakur and the possible involvement of Puff and Dre in it. They also talk about some of their favorite conspiracy theories about who really killed Tupac and who killed Biggie and Biggie's family. Also, the guys talk about how to deal with the pressure of being a standup comedian and how to handle the pressure to be a comedian in this day and age. And of course, the usual conspiracy theories. We hope you enjoy, sit down, and have a nice rest of your day! Thank you so much for listening and supporting the podcast. We really appreciate it. Peace, Blessings, Cheers. Cheers, EJ & JP. -Jon & Matt and the crew at The Dukes Podcast is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. Our theme song is Come Alone by The Weakerthans. We are produced by Native Creative. and our ad music is produced by Riley Bray. Our ad music comes courtesy of Lotuspool Records. . We are not affiliated with the Native Creative and produced in partnership with Native Creative, a local record label. This episode was produced and edited by . and by , , and . . in collaboration with , produced by & , created and produced by our good friend, , is a proud member of the team. , a crew. & our . Thank you, ( ) and , we are , thank you for producing the music, and thanks to , . , , , our , the , & ! thanks , all of our sponsors, . , and all of your support is , your support, and all , etc., , so thank you , thanks we , y all . & all of you, thank you, and we appreciate you, we are so much for your support , Thank you for all your support and support, thank you , we appreciate all of the love, love, support, etc, etc., etc, etc. , etc. etc., we really appreciate all the love and appreciation, etc., and all the support, you're so much, we appreciate it, etc.. etc.


Transcript

00:00:11.000 This is a good way to open up the podcast.
00:00:13.000 Jamie is an expert on all things black Twitter.
00:00:17.000 What's going on, Jamie?
00:00:18.000 I don't know.
00:00:19.000 There's a lot going on.
00:00:20.000 A lot of rumors are flying.
00:00:21.000 The rumors are that Diddy was running some kind of Epstein-type deal where he was filming everybody, right?
00:00:27.000 That's the rumors, yeah.
00:00:29.000 I don't know that there's any proof or anything other than that.
00:00:31.000 The thing is, like, we're getting the rumors from the internet, and the internet thinks that the Taliban took out that bridge in Baltimore.
00:00:38.000 So it's like, who fucking knows?
00:00:40.000 Who knows what's real?
00:00:42.000 That's what Diddy's lawyers, I think, said.
00:00:43.000 It was like, yeah, these are just trumped-up charges.
00:00:46.000 Not trumped-up, I don't think they said that, but, like, bullshit charges.
00:00:49.000 Dude, in Homeland Security...
00:00:51.000 Invade your house.
00:00:52.000 You got problems.
00:00:53.000 With dudes with fucking guns and body armor.
00:00:58.000 Someone said that they weren't there to take stuff.
00:01:00.000 They were there to delete everything.
00:01:02.000 Like the real people that were in there, you know?
00:01:04.000 Oh, that's funny.
00:01:06.000 Oh, that's funny.
00:01:06.000 Of course.
00:01:08.000 There's layers upon layers.
00:01:09.000 When you get into these fucking conspiracy theories, man, they never end.
00:01:14.000 They never end.
00:01:15.000 There's just layers upon layers upon layers.
00:01:19.000 It's fun to talk about.
00:01:20.000 It is fun to talk about.
00:01:21.000 It's hard to know what's true.
00:01:24.000 People genuinely love it when someone like Diddy gets caught though.
00:01:29.000 The glee that people have is weird.
00:01:32.000 Why?
00:01:33.000 Because he's too successful.
00:01:37.000 Also, there was always so much East Coast, West Coast shit that's still in the zeitgeist, you know, like with Biggie and Tupac, and they were all hating on each other, and they both got killed, and there was a lot going on.
00:01:51.000 And then there's people that thought that Puffy was involved, and Suge Knight was involved.
00:01:56.000 Speaking of, I think Suge Knight's the one who said the thing I just thought of.
00:01:59.000 What thing?
00:02:00.000 About that they were there to delete stuff.
00:02:04.000 Well, if he really was filming everybody, I mean, he had a lot of people at those parties, right?
00:02:13.000 You know who's that?
00:02:15.000 Luke from 2 Live Crew?
00:02:17.000 Yeah, he said he was to leave early.
00:02:18.000 Yeah, when Luke from 2 Live Crew is leaving early, like, you got a wild party.
00:02:29.000 If what's happening is too fucked up for Luke from two live crew, check please.
00:02:36.000 There's so many different stories.
00:02:39.000 Who knows?
00:02:41.000 What are you gonna do?
00:02:42.000 I'm not doing nothing.
00:02:43.000 We're not involved in him.
00:02:44.000 I was never at Diddy's party.
00:02:46.000 I don't even know the motherfucker.
00:02:48.000 I don't want a nobody.
00:02:49.000 Telling jokes.
00:02:49.000 I don't know nobody.
00:02:50.000 Telling jokes.
00:02:51.000 Like I told you.
00:02:51.000 Having fun.
00:02:52.000 That's it.
00:02:52.000 Smoking dope, cracking jokes, making people...
00:02:55.000 That's it.
00:02:55.000 Everything else is background music.
00:02:57.000 And living in L.A., you have all this shit that's going on around you.
00:03:00.000 You have your life, and then you have all this shit that goes in and out of your ears all fucking day, and you're like, I just want to do stand-up.
00:03:08.000 You also have those celebrity environments where celebrities all get together, and there's so many of them, and these wild parties.
00:03:17.000 And if you've got a wild party, and P. Diddy puts on that wild party, and he sets everybody up, Like, if you were an intelligence agent, you know, like a Jeffrey Epstein type deal, that'd be the way to do it.
00:03:32.000 Big ol' crazy party, get everybody loose, get them the yayo, get them the yayo, get them everything you need, get fired up, get those cameras rolling, and now you got everybody under wraps.
00:03:50.000 What a twisted web some folks weave.
00:03:56.000 You alright over there?
00:03:57.000 Yeah.
00:03:58.000 You gotta concentrate.
00:04:00.000 That is a skill that I never picked up.
00:04:03.000 The roll your own skill.
00:04:05.000 Never picked it up.
00:04:07.000 Sometimes you got no choice but to pick it up.
00:04:09.000 Yeah, no, I should have.
00:04:10.000 You're sitting there with reefer, a paper.
00:04:12.000 I admire people that do it.
00:04:13.000 When I see a person that can roll a solid joint, I'm like, that is a, that's an exceptional person.
00:04:18.000 It's like a person who can play guitar.
00:04:20.000 I'm like, oh, you took the time.
00:04:22.000 There's a level of skill with it, too.
00:04:23.000 Some people can roll some nice ones.
00:04:25.000 Oh, yeah, man.
00:04:26.000 Like they're done by a machine.
00:04:27.000 I've seen dudes in Instagram driving their car rolling in one hand.
00:04:33.000 That's next level.
00:04:34.000 Yeah, that's next level.
00:04:35.000 That's next level.
00:04:36.000 Charlie Murphy could roll a hell of a blunt.
00:04:39.000 Charlie Murphy's one of those.
00:04:40.000 You know who else rolls a hell of a blunt?
00:04:42.000 Lewis.
00:04:44.000 Luis Gomez.
00:04:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:46.000 Gomez rolls a hell of a blunt.
00:04:47.000 And he does it the real way.
00:04:49.000 He doesn't just split the spliff and open it up and lick it, no, no, no.
00:04:53.000 He takes the paper out and he makes, you know, cuts it.
00:04:57.000 Like, he'll unravel a cigar and then take the tobacco paper and cut it and wet it and get it down.
00:05:04.000 I just don't want to get hot.
00:05:06.000 It's like Freebase and Coke.
00:05:07.000 I gotta run it and run it through a sock.
00:05:10.000 Then it's gotta dry.
00:05:11.000 No.
00:05:12.000 Just give me the fucking reefer.
00:05:13.000 I'd rather...
00:05:14.000 I like smoking blunts, but that's what gave me pneumonia last summer.
00:05:18.000 I started smoking blondes.
00:05:19.000 Yeah?
00:05:20.000 Sure enough.
00:05:20.000 It gave you pneumonia?
00:05:22.000 Pneumonia.
00:05:22.000 Really?
00:05:22.000 I had pneumonia last summer.
00:05:23.000 Do you think it's definitely from that?
00:05:25.000 It was that and the sleep...
00:05:26.000 What was...
00:05:27.000 It was a bunch of shit.
00:05:28.000 What it really was was I had an abscess.
00:05:31.000 Oh.
00:05:32.000 And the sleep mask.
00:05:33.000 Oh.
00:05:34.000 I cleaned that motherfucker for 20 years.
00:05:36.000 Abscesses are dangerous.
00:05:37.000 Dog, this was...
00:05:38.000 I'm shooting a fucking movie with Kevin.
00:05:41.000 And it blew.
00:05:42.000 Oh, really?
00:05:42.000 In my mouth as I was shooting with Kevin.
00:05:44.000 Oh, you had no idea?
00:05:45.000 No, and I'm spitting blood and pus, and I'm like, oh, no.
00:05:48.000 And then I started feeling sick.
00:05:50.000 Oh, no, because it gets in your bloodstream.
00:05:52.000 Thank God we wrapped.
00:05:53.000 I'm like, I'm not going to make it home.
00:05:56.000 I couldn't even drive.
00:05:57.000 I got home, I went right to sleep.
00:05:59.000 The next day I got up and went right to the doctor.
00:06:01.000 And that started, you know, because doctors aren't...
00:06:03.000 Now they send you to 20 different places.
00:06:05.000 So by the time you get through...
00:06:06.000 You know what this started with the pneumonia?
00:06:08.000 What?
00:06:08.000 They saw a fucking thing in my kidney.
00:06:10.000 What's that when you have a...
00:06:11.000 Kidney stones?
00:06:12.000 Kidney stones.
00:06:13.000 Yeah.
00:06:13.000 They go, we got to start drinking whatever.
00:06:15.000 I'm like, kidney stones?
00:06:16.000 Yeah.
00:06:17.000 Then I went to another doctor and he's like, you're not a kidney stone.
00:06:20.000 There's something wrong with the bottom of your lung.
00:06:22.000 Oh.
00:06:23.000 And there's a cyst in your heart.
00:06:25.000 A cyst?
00:06:26.000 Something that kept growing over the years, like a little boil by one of the vows.
00:06:30.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:06:31.000 All right.
00:06:31.000 Then he sent me for another one.
00:06:32.000 Then finally, Eisenberg fucking sent me to the real deal.
00:06:36.000 And he goes, this eliminates everything.
00:06:39.000 When I left there, I thought he was going to say, we're going to put in a stent and all this shit.
00:06:43.000 He goes, no, just aspirin.
00:06:45.000 Aspirin?
00:06:46.000 I just want you to go on a baby aspirin.
00:06:48.000 Really?
00:06:48.000 That's it.
00:06:49.000 He goes, your heart's perfect.
00:06:50.000 You're good.
00:06:51.000 That's it.
00:06:53.000 My calcium score was good, which was very fucking surprising, you know.
00:06:57.000 I stopped eating bacon in the mornings.
00:06:59.000 Yeah?
00:07:00.000 How come?
00:07:01.000 I do an avocado toast instead.
00:07:03.000 You know, I'd rather do avocado toast with an egg and a bowl of fruit.
00:07:07.000 That's good.
00:07:08.000 Yeah, that's perfect.
00:07:10.000 You know, I used to eat a cheese omelet with french fries.
00:07:12.000 With 10 pieces of bread with butter on it.
00:07:14.000 So this works.
00:07:16.000 This is better.
00:07:16.000 This works.
00:07:18.000 That's definitely better.
00:07:19.000 Get them healthy fats.
00:07:21.000 Yeah.
00:07:22.000 How good is that sushi place you went to?
00:07:23.000 Oh my God.
00:07:24.000 Shout out to Yuki Hand Roll.
00:07:26.000 Jesus Christ.
00:07:28.000 The fucking...
00:07:28.000 When you got up to go to the bathroom is when he dropped my rolls.
00:07:31.000 I'm like, whose is this?
00:07:32.000 It was just a fucking chunk.
00:07:34.000 And especially now with this new economics that sushi's getting smaller and smaller and smaller.
00:07:39.000 It is in a lot of places.
00:07:40.000 This fucking...
00:07:41.000 There was two hunks of fucking tuna there.
00:07:42.000 I'm full.
00:07:43.000 Big.
00:07:44.000 They give you big pieces at Yuki.
00:07:46.000 And the guy came from Nobu, super sweet guy, really nice to have.
00:07:49.000 You guys have put together a hell of a fucking time.
00:07:52.000 Remember, we've been coming here since 1998. And we used to come here, we used to just go to Papado's.
00:07:57.000 Yep.
00:07:58.000 And there was another place we went to.
00:08:01.000 The Mexican joint, Papacitos, and that's it.
00:08:04.000 And that was where we went for three fucking days.
00:08:07.000 Now look what you got here.
00:08:09.000 It's like an empire of everything.
00:08:10.000 You guys were talking in the green room last night about all the different restaurants.
00:08:14.000 And you guys didn't stop.
00:08:16.000 So many people moved here.
00:08:17.000 Didn't stop.
00:08:17.000 You guys did not.
00:08:18.000 Everybody had a suggestion.
00:08:19.000 How about this place?
00:08:20.000 You asked for a steak here, eight people raised their hand.
00:08:23.000 Mexican food.
00:08:24.000 Go to that place that's fusion or whatever.
00:08:26.000 There's so many good steakhouses in town that people forget.
00:08:29.000 You know, you go, oh, you got Jay Carver's, right.
00:08:32.000 Perry's, Perry's, Bob's, Bob's!
00:08:35.000 There's excitement down there.
00:08:36.000 Three Forks, Three Forks?
00:08:37.000 It's very exciting.
00:08:39.000 You know, the last two nights, the store in its heyday, Like 2019, 2018, I gotta be honest with you.
00:08:46.000 I would do my spots and I would have to go to the kitchen and sit in the corner by myself.
00:08:52.000 And I would just watch to think that this was really happening.
00:08:56.000 Yeah.
00:08:57.000 Because it would assault all your...
00:08:59.000 Like, it was just so much.
00:09:00.000 It was celebrities.
00:09:02.000 Yeah.
00:09:02.000 I remember one night, half of UFC was there.
00:09:04.000 Yeah.
00:09:05.000 You know, like, you look around, there's fucking eight guys in the UFC right there, and you're like, what the fuck is happening up here?
00:09:11.000 What the fuck are all these people, you know?
00:09:14.000 The last two nights, I had to leave early.
00:09:16.000 And you go home and you can't sleep.
00:09:18.000 Yeah.
00:09:19.000 Last night when you text me, I was awake.
00:09:20.000 I got home at fucking 11. I couldn't sleep from everything.
00:09:23.000 I was writing and fucking thinking and coming on his head and fucking...
00:09:28.000 You know, it's what stand-up does to you at night.
00:09:32.000 You can't not be a fucking early riser with stand-up.
00:09:35.000 Because even if you do an 8 o'clock show, Unless you're a fucking mope.
00:09:39.000 You're thinking about that set.
00:09:41.000 Even when you're eating with your friends, you know where you went week tonight.
00:09:46.000 Even though you did great.
00:09:47.000 That one joke didn't work.
00:09:48.000 You're thinking about how you can make it better.
00:09:50.000 That's what I missed.
00:09:52.000 I didn't miss the planes.
00:09:53.000 I didn't miss the hotels.
00:09:55.000 Right.
00:09:56.000 I missed having four ideas and starting to get on stage and trying to connect those four ideas together.
00:10:02.000 And when those four ideas get connected together, I'm just saying, four ideas, three different premises.
00:10:08.000 It's the best feeling.
00:10:09.000 It's better than sex.
00:10:11.000 It's an incredible feeling.
00:10:12.000 And that's what I missed.
00:10:16.000 Well, there's a relationship with the audience that's so pure.
00:10:21.000 Because, you know, they know you.
00:10:24.000 Like, they really know you.
00:10:25.000 They know you from podcasts.
00:10:27.000 They know you from your bits.
00:10:28.000 They fucking know you.
00:10:30.000 They know you from conversations.
00:10:31.000 They get it.
00:10:33.000 Then they're watching you put together this thing That's really for them.
00:10:39.000 It's for you because you create it and you know You get paid to say it and you get this great feeling that you did it But for a person like a fan like when I was watching you last night as a fan Like I had to see a bunch of new shit that you were doing that I was telling you was killing me but it's It's a beautiful feeling.
00:10:59.000 It's a great feeling.
00:11:01.000 When someone that you really love, who's really funny, who's got new stuff, and they're killing it.
00:11:06.000 And it's just like this atmosphere.
00:11:08.000 So there's 250 people, and we're all sharing this moment.
00:11:12.000 So it's super positive in like all ways.
00:11:16.000 It makes people feel better.
00:11:18.000 They leave that place, they feel better.
00:11:20.000 And so when you know that you can do that, then you get together in the green room afterwards, you're like, ah, this one bit is like something missing.
00:11:28.000 It's fucking, there's something clunky about it.
00:11:31.000 It just feels fake.
00:11:32.000 It feels like it's too perform- I gotta rework it.
00:11:35.000 I gotta rework it.
00:11:36.000 And then you start from scratch and you figure it out.
00:11:38.000 But it's just because you want to get to that place where the fan, the audience is like, Yes!
00:11:43.000 Ah!
00:11:44.000 You hit them with some shit they didn't see coming, or they get to see some shit that maybe you did six months ago, but now it's tight.
00:11:51.000 It's tighter.
00:11:52.000 Yeah.
00:11:53.000 Now it's got all these new punchlines and new avenues that you can take it to.
00:11:58.000 The worst is when you, three years later, and you get a bit and you're like, you know what?
00:12:03.000 I wish I could use that bit now.
00:12:05.000 Right.
00:12:06.000 That bit I did three years ago fits right in here now.
00:12:09.000 But if I bring it up, people are going to know I'm doing old jokes.
00:12:11.000 Yeah, but sometimes just shove it in there anyway.
00:12:14.000 Who cares?
00:12:15.000 Just because it fits.
00:12:16.000 It's perfect.
00:12:17.000 It's funny.
00:12:18.000 The whole idea is just be as funny as possible.
00:12:20.000 Yeah, and that I got here.
00:12:20.000 You're always supposed to be coming up with new material for sure, but, you know, I don't mind when somebody busts out an old bit.
00:12:29.000 The other night when I got here, I got Atlanta at 1130. I got my luggage by a quarter to 12. I walked out.
00:12:35.000 When I got in that car, you should have seen that airport.
00:12:39.000 It was live at midnight.
00:12:41.000 Yeah.
00:12:42.000 Fucking tons of people coming into Austin.
00:12:44.000 I mean, I was like, this has changed a lot.
00:12:47.000 This airport used to be a sleepy fucking hollow.
00:12:50.000 Yeah, the whole town.
00:12:52.000 The pandemic changed the whole town.
00:12:54.000 You know, and then a lot of the tech companies moved here, too.
00:12:57.000 That was a big part of it.
00:12:58.000 A lot of these young people just didn't want any part of San Francisco anymore.
00:13:02.000 They're like, we gotta get the fuck out of here.
00:13:03.000 Who would want to live there?
00:13:04.000 Who would want to live there?
00:13:05.000 It's dangerous.
00:13:06.000 It's weird.
00:13:07.000 You know, Elon was saying five of his friends have been assaulted or robbed.
00:13:11.000 Five.
00:13:12.000 You can't lock your car?
00:13:13.000 Yeah, you gotta leave your car open.
00:13:14.000 Window open?
00:13:15.000 Because they're gonna smash you.
00:13:16.000 How do you live like that?
00:13:20.000 They basically empowered mental patients who are drug addicts to just live on the street and shit everywhere and harass people.
00:13:29.000 And there's no sign that they're turning it around.
00:13:33.000 They don't seem to be turning it around at all, except for when Xi Jinping came to town.
00:13:38.000 I told him, if I was the mayor, I'd buy Xi Jinping a condo.
00:13:42.000 Like, when he's in town, everything's clean.
00:13:45.000 When he came to San Francisco, they moved all the tents, they put up fences so people couldn't put tents back up, they cleaned the streets, and Gavin Newsom was like, well, when you have guests come over, you clean up your house.
00:13:55.000 Like, what?
00:13:58.000 What a crazy gaslighting spin on a fact that you could have fixed this the whole time and you chose not to until the dictator comes to town.
00:14:08.000 You know, in my criminal hate day, I used to move around a lot.
00:14:12.000 And I ended up in San Francisco.
00:14:14.000 August of 85. I was in Boulder.
00:14:16.000 The cops were looking for me.
00:14:18.000 And I said, fuck it.
00:14:19.000 Where do I go?
00:14:20.000 I went to the airport and I picked a spot.
00:14:22.000 And I go, what's the closest flight here leaving?
00:14:24.000 San Francisco.
00:14:25.000 All right, get me to San Francisco.
00:14:26.000 And I went up there.
00:14:27.000 And I went right to the Tenderloin, Joe.
00:14:29.000 And it was buck wild.
00:14:32.000 I mean, for a New York City kid to look at you and go, you got to be careful down there.
00:14:37.000 I still remember in 1985, they had a place called Coffee Runs that was a topless coffee place.
00:14:44.000 Yeah.
00:14:45.000 With the ugliest titties you've ever seen in your fucking life.
00:14:48.000 I mean, they weren't award-winning titties.
00:14:50.000 Soggy, they looked like a puppy, was gonna milk on them, but they had that.
00:14:55.000 Yeah.
00:14:55.000 And they were open 24 hours, right down the block from me.
00:14:58.000 It was a wild city.
00:14:59.000 It was wild.
00:15:00.000 And up the corner were hookers for fucking miles.
00:15:05.000 It had a stand-up scene, but it never had a stand-up scene like Boston or New York or LA. No, but it was a good stand-up scene.
00:15:11.000 Solid scene.
00:15:12.000 Robin Williams came out of there.
00:15:14.000 Who else?
00:15:15.000 Slayton.
00:15:18.000 We were just talking about him.
00:15:19.000 The Korean girl.
00:15:20.000 She's from San Francisco.
00:15:21.000 Margaret Kim?
00:15:22.000 Margaret Cho.
00:15:22.000 Margaret Cho.
00:15:23.000 Her mother had a bookstore downstairs or something.
00:15:26.000 A couple funny guys came out of Frisco.
00:15:28.000 Sorry, Margaret.
00:15:30.000 The comedy festival really was great.
00:15:33.000 It really did a lot for a lot of comedy.
00:15:35.000 I never went to that one.
00:15:36.000 I did it.
00:15:37.000 I quit.
00:15:37.000 Yeah?
00:15:38.000 Four nights.
00:15:40.000 What am I doing?
00:15:41.000 I'm sleeping on the beach.
00:15:42.000 I'm paying for my own hotel, and the judges are comedians from San Francisco.
00:15:47.000 And I'm coming in fucking 12th every night because they don't know me.
00:15:51.000 These guys are coming in first.
00:15:53.000 You know, the judges are hugging them, smoking dope with them.
00:15:55.000 What year was this that you did it?
00:15:58.000 97-ish, 98. I drove home.
00:16:03.000 I went to the comedy store.
00:16:05.000 They let me go up, and I went to the House of Blues and saw Celia Cruz.
00:16:10.000 Instead of fucking...
00:16:11.000 I left Thursday night.
00:16:13.000 The House of Blues used to be the shit.
00:16:15.000 The shit.
00:16:15.000 We used to go across the street and watch killer bands.
00:16:18.000 Fucking unbelievable for free.
00:16:20.000 It was amazing.
00:16:20.000 Just walk in.
00:16:20.000 Hey, guys.
00:16:21.000 Come on over.
00:16:22.000 Yeah, they just let us in.
00:16:23.000 Fuck.
00:16:24.000 It was amazing.
00:16:25.000 I went to see one of my mother's friends there.
00:16:28.000 My mother's friend was this Cuban dude, Patato Totico.
00:16:31.000 They're huge in Cuba.
00:16:33.000 And he was playing that by himself.
00:16:35.000 He had to be like 70. Before I forget, what is your cousin's band in Cuba?
00:16:41.000 That band?
00:16:42.000 Emi Alfonso.
00:16:44.000 Emi.
00:16:45.000 Emi Alfonso.
00:16:46.000 She had some new shit.
00:16:47.000 She was just here!
00:16:49.000 I wanted to put him on the Spotify list.
00:16:51.000 The shit is banging, but I couldn't remember.
00:16:53.000 She came here for fucking South by Southwest.
00:16:56.000 Really?
00:16:56.000 Yeah, she was in South by Southwest.
00:16:58.000 How do you say it?
00:16:59.000 How do you spell it?
00:16:59.000 E-M-E. E-M-M-Y? E-M-E. E-M-E? A-L-F-Y. Alfonso.
00:17:08.000 A-L-F-O-N-S-O. Got it.
00:17:13.000 Bam.
00:17:14.000 There it is.
00:17:15.000 Can you believe that's my family up there?
00:17:18.000 The Instagram shot at the top?
00:17:19.000 What's a good song that I should put on the Spotify playlist?
00:17:23.000 That's my family, bro.
00:17:25.000 That's my legitimate fucking family.
00:17:28.000 That guy on the far left is my mother's brother.
00:17:33.000 That's his son that owns La Factoria in Cuba, the big club where you go to.
00:17:37.000 That's his sister, and that's my aunt.
00:17:39.000 Wow.
00:17:40.000 That dude is 80 years old, and he's still a musician, plays congas.
00:17:44.000 Wow.
00:17:45.000 You know, the whole fucking thing.
00:17:46.000 Emi lives in...
00:17:47.000 No, Eki, the guy with the dreads, my cousin.
00:17:50.000 He lives like in fucking Germany or some shit.
00:17:54.000 Really?
00:17:54.000 Yeah, he don't even go to Cuba.
00:17:55.000 He goes to Cuba to pick up a check or something.
00:17:57.000 Is he allowed to go in and out?
00:18:00.000 He's a band member.
00:18:01.000 Oh, okay.
00:18:01.000 He just says he's playing a band and fucking...
00:18:04.000 Give me a...
00:18:04.000 What song should I pick for this playlist?
00:18:07.000 How's Keep Your Head Up?
00:18:09.000 No.
00:18:10.000 The one that you really liked that time was the one when She's Walking.
00:18:13.000 Which one's that?
00:18:19.000 Alright, let's all screenshot this.
00:18:21.000 I'll come back to it later.
00:18:22.000 I'll put some of them on the Spotify.
00:18:24.000 And while I got you, can we look at the car?
00:18:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:18:27.000 Steven Segal in the movie with the Jamaicans.
00:18:33.000 Screwhead.
00:18:34.000 Jamie said he had a 69 Mach 1. I didn't say 69. I didn't know what.
00:18:38.000 He said Mach 1. Mach 1. He said M-A-C, and I was like, that's probably a Mach 1. It's an old muscle car, right?
00:18:44.000 Yes, sir.
00:18:46.000 It's probably...
00:18:51.000 Okay, that's a 70. That's a 70. I like that, Joe.
00:18:55.000 Yeah, it's a nice car.
00:18:56.000 How fast is that?
00:18:57.000 Oh, it's fast as fuck.
00:18:58.000 They handle like shit.
00:18:59.000 But that's the 69. That's the one John Wick had.
00:19:03.000 The 70 is not quite as good looking.
00:19:07.000 But still, great fucking car.
00:19:09.000 I forgot about this scene.
00:19:11.000 Oh, they crushed it with two trucks.
00:19:15.000 Damn it.
00:19:16.000 I forgot the name of this movie, but it's god-awful.
00:19:20.000 Mark for death.
00:19:21.000 Screw face.
00:19:24.000 This movie's so bad.
00:19:26.000 It's really bad.
00:19:28.000 And then he kills him, then he comes back from life.
00:19:32.000 I'm like, alright, that's it.
00:19:34.000 He kills him and he comes back from the dead, right?
00:19:37.000 Screw head, screw face or something, yeah.
00:19:40.000 Oh, he lights him on fire and he has to escape.
00:19:43.000 This is so dumb.
00:19:47.000 This is skinny Steven Seagal.
00:19:48.000 These are at least more believable movies.
00:19:51.000 Until they went completely sideways.
00:19:52.000 Alright, he's gonna sneak out.
00:19:53.000 He's gonna get out.
00:19:54.000 The guy with the tractor never crushes him.
00:19:58.000 Goddamn, Tom Segura's gotta stop sending me videos.
00:20:02.000 Tom Segura sent me this video of this dude smushing somebody with a tractor, running the tractor right through him.
00:20:10.000 I don't wanna see that shit.
00:20:12.000 I don't wanna see it either, but Tom Segura thinks I do.
00:20:17.000 Every day we freak each other out.
00:20:18.000 I find the worst shit that I see on Instagram.
00:20:21.000 By the way, Instagram is wild right now.
00:20:24.000 I mean buck wild with murder and animal attacks and bombs exploding on people and terrorist attacks and riots and it's like you can find everything on Instagram now.
00:20:37.000 And these are accounts that I don't even follow.
00:20:39.000 So they know my brain is a mess.
00:20:42.000 So they're just sending me the most horrible shit.
00:20:46.000 And I just get it all day long.
00:20:48.000 I saved one just for you.
00:20:50.000 The only...
00:20:51.000 We could watch it.
00:20:52.000 The only fucking thing that amazes me about Instagram...
00:20:56.000 I don't know what's going on.
00:20:58.000 But if you go to, like, look...
00:20:59.000 This section here will break it down for me.
00:21:03.000 The explore section?
00:21:04.000 Like this one here?
00:21:05.000 The search?
00:21:06.000 Uh-huh.
00:21:06.000 Is that there?
00:21:07.000 Yeah.
00:21:07.000 I still can't put together these women.
00:21:10.000 Are they hookers?
00:21:12.000 Are they just showing their bodies?
00:21:13.000 First of all, some of them might...
00:21:14.000 Look at this one.
00:21:15.000 Yeah, like that.
00:21:17.000 What are they doing?
00:21:18.000 They got fake babies.
00:21:18.000 They got fake babies.
00:21:20.000 So they pull their tits out to breastfeed fake babies.
00:21:23.000 So it's like a hack.
00:21:25.000 What's that?
00:21:26.000 Link in bio.
00:21:26.000 Yeah, you go in that bio, bam.
00:21:28.000 And then there's probably an OnlyFans.
00:21:33.000 And let's see, 18 plus, yes we are.
00:21:38.000 And then Love Me, it's a different one.
00:21:40.000 Oh, it's a dating.
00:21:42.000 Oh, you're done.
00:21:43.000 You have a virus on your computer right now.
00:21:46.000 We need to blow up that computer.
00:21:48.000 We'll take that computer to the range.
00:21:50.000 Fill it full of lead.
00:21:52.000 So they just rope you in.
00:21:54.000 They get lonely, lost guys, and they see this girl breastfeeding a rubber baby, and they dump...
00:22:00.000 I mean, that's how Andrew Tate made all his money.
00:22:02.000 Look how many there are on this page, though.
00:22:03.000 Coming in hot.
00:22:04.000 Bunch of titties.
00:22:06.000 Lots of titties.
00:22:07.000 Then they got the other girls that flip the camera around and show their monkey and then show their face, and I can't figure out what the fuck that's about either.
00:22:15.000 I'm like, why are they doing this?
00:22:17.000 They show their face, they flip it, they show their underwear monkey, and then they flip back and they start talking to you.
00:22:22.000 I'm like, why are they doing that?
00:22:24.000 OnlyFans.
00:22:26.000 Yeah, they're trying to get you to go to their website or OnlyFans or whatever that website was.
00:22:30.000 It's just a bunch of girls that get hired, I'm sure, I'm guessing, but this is what I imagine.
00:22:35.000 They get hired by an agency or some company and they put a fake name to them and they say LinkinBio.
00:22:44.000 You go to LinkinBio and you go to some porn site or you go to some dating site or you go to some OnlyFans type site.
00:22:51.000 And lost guys who don't have any money or they don't have anybody with them.
00:22:56.000 They're sad.
00:22:56.000 They give up all their cash.
00:22:58.000 They get hundreds of thousands of dollars off these dopes.
00:23:02.000 And the way Andrew Tate was doing it, he would have the girls sit in front of the keyboard typing with their tits out and then him and his friends would be over on the side and they would be typing all the shit because they knew what the guy wanted to hear.
00:23:15.000 So they would type all the things for the guy and the guys would just donate money.
00:23:20.000 And they were making millions.
00:23:23.000 Millions.
00:23:24.000 That is crazy.
00:23:25.000 Yeah.
00:23:25.000 It's crazy.
00:23:27.000 But, you know, it's one of those things where there's certain kind of scams where I think they should be legal.
00:23:35.000 Like televangelists.
00:23:36.000 Like late night preachers.
00:23:38.000 Yeah.
00:23:38.000 It's so obvious it should be legal.
00:23:42.000 Like if they're getting you with that, I don't have a problem.
00:23:45.000 I've never called for the banning of televangelists.
00:23:50.000 Like, you know, when they're like, God told me I need a private jet.
00:23:55.000 There's no way I can do the Lord's duty flying commercial.
00:24:00.000 And these guys, they'll fucking sell it.
00:24:02.000 They'll sell it.
00:24:04.000 This one guy was telling people that if they're broke, if they have no money, if they just send whatever they can, everything they have, God will bless them with 10 times more.
00:24:14.000 He just kept saying that.
00:24:15.000 So he was trying to get people that literally had nothing.
00:24:19.000 And if you send me, the guy in the $5,000 suit with the big pinky ring, if you send me your money, whatever you have left, God will bless you 10 times over.
00:24:32.000 I don't believe the banning of anybody who could take money out of your pocket.
00:24:36.000 Do you know that?
00:24:37.000 Because if you're that fucking stupid, it's like, who raised you?
00:24:42.000 It gets to a certain level where I'm like, okay, wait a minute.
00:24:45.000 Like financial market stuff.
00:24:46.000 Like when people are pulling stock schemes and pumping dumps and things like that.
00:24:51.000 Yeah, that's different.
00:24:52.000 That's different.
00:24:53.000 That's different.
00:24:54.000 Then you're actually getting intelligent people, like Bernie Madoff.
00:24:58.000 Right.
00:24:58.000 You're actually getting intelligent people that fucking rob you.
00:25:01.000 Yeah, they just trusted you.
00:25:03.000 I'm talking about like when an African sends you a text message and says, fucking come bail me out.
00:25:08.000 If you send me 500, you're going to inherit 80 million dollars.
00:25:12.000 You know how many people get, every year 60 Minutes has a fucking expose about some African that's taking money from fucking people and they keep doing it.
00:25:20.000 Speaking of which, I should probably bring this up.
00:25:22.000 There's a lot of people that are getting emails from a scammer saying that they're being invited onto this podcast.
00:25:29.000 Yes, they are.
00:25:30.000 Yeah.
00:25:31.000 A dear friend of mine keeps asking me, what the fuck is this about?
00:25:34.000 Yeah, hundreds of people.
00:25:36.000 I don't know how many people have been contacted.
00:25:38.000 And it's more than one account that's doing it.
00:25:40.000 And I think it's some sort of a scam to get your Facebook information or some sort of information or credit card information or something.
00:25:47.000 Don't do it.
00:25:48.000 Don't do it.
00:25:49.000 Don't do it.
00:25:50.000 We will never ask you for anything like that.
00:25:52.000 And if we contact you, it'll be obvious.
00:25:54.000 It's obvious also that whoever the person is writing these things, at least in the ones that have been sent to me, it seems like English is their second language.
00:26:01.000 They don't seem to know exactly how to phrase things in a way that an American would phrase things.
00:26:07.000 So it seems a little obvious to me that it was shifty and obvious to a lot of other people, but a bunch of people sent them to me.
00:26:14.000 Okay, yeah, because I had one I was going to show you.
00:26:16.000 I think I erased it.
00:26:17.000 He sent it to me yesterday.
00:26:19.000 And he was like, yeah, ask him.
00:26:20.000 They keep sending me these fucking things from the Joe Rogan experience.
00:26:25.000 He doesn't know.
00:26:26.000 Yeah, it's just scammers.
00:26:27.000 You know, they reach out to you through Instagram or, you know, they find out you follow me or maybe I talked about you on the podcast or maybe something like that.
00:26:35.000 And the next thing you know, you get a letter.
00:26:37.000 Yeah.
00:26:40.000 There's scammers out there, man.
00:26:42.000 I mean, the Nigerians are the best at it.
00:26:45.000 That's where it was invented.
00:26:48.000 They're the best at it.
00:26:49.000 They are the best.
00:26:50.000 When did they first start email scamming people?
00:26:52.000 Probably right after email got invented.
00:26:55.000 I don't know.
00:26:56.000 When was the first Nigerian Prince email scams?
00:26:58.000 Because it's always like, I have all this money, but I need $1,000 to get it out.
00:27:03.000 Yeah, $500 to get it out.
00:27:05.000 If you help me get it out, you get $10 million.
00:27:09.000 I can't get mad at you for something like that.
00:27:12.000 You look at that and you giggle.
00:27:14.000 You look at that and you giggle.
00:27:15.000 Any of that stuff online, you have to look up.
00:27:18.000 I don't press nothing online.
00:27:19.000 If you send me a Facebook message and I click on something, I don't click.
00:27:23.000 I don't touch it.
00:27:24.000 Good.
00:27:24.000 I don't open it.
00:27:25.000 When that shit starts happening, when things start popping up, that's when I turn off the computer.
00:27:29.000 I hit a button that I should not fucking hit.
00:27:32.000 Yeah.
00:27:32.000 Fuck you.
00:27:33.000 I don't go into any of those things.
00:27:35.000 Even friends of mine that send me shit, I'm busy.
00:27:38.000 Yeah.
00:27:39.000 You know?
00:27:39.000 That's smart.
00:27:40.000 Yeah.
00:27:43.000 They used to do this by letter.
00:27:45.000 Really?
00:27:47.000 When did it start?
00:27:49.000 1910?
00:27:50.000 Wow!
00:27:51.000 The Nigerian started in the 1900s?
00:27:55.000 1910?
00:27:56.000 The origins of the Nigerian print scam date back to 1910 when it went by another name, the Spanish Prisoner Swindle.
00:28:04.000 Back then victims receive a message as a letter in the mail rather than on the internet but the same basic structure between the two scams remains between both scams remains scams remain the same the Spanish prisoner swindle centers around a wealthy foreign nobleman who's in prison for political reasons the nobleman claims no location of a lost treasure and that he's willing to share this treasure with the victim the problem is he's in prison and needs the victim to send him money so he can bribe his way out Wow Interesting.
00:28:35.000 There's always been people like that, but you know what the problem is?
00:28:38.000 The problem is, there are people in this country, what was the number that we Googled that have an IQ lower than 85?
00:28:48.000 It's pretty high.
00:28:52.000 15%.
00:28:52.000 So imagine, 15% of people that you could basically trick with anything.
00:28:56.000 Get them to join a cult, get them to sign up for some fucking telemarketing swindle.
00:29:01.000 You think it's IQ, or do you think it's...
00:29:04.000 IQ is interesting, right?
00:29:06.000 Because IQ doesn't necessarily mean intelligence, because it depends upon your education.
00:29:10.000 Because some of the questions in IQ tests are predicated on a knowledge of math and understanding of how to do equations and certain things that you learn in school.
00:29:21.000 But there's intelligence that is social intelligence, intelligence in terms of being able to see what the problems are in a certain choice you make or what the up benefits are of a different choice.
00:29:38.000 There's people that are strategizers and they're really good at...
00:29:43.000 Business.
00:29:44.000 They're really good at figuring people out.
00:29:46.000 They're really good at figuring themselves out.
00:29:49.000 There's an intelligence to that.
00:29:52.000 So the problem with IQ, in my mind, is I know a lot of people with very high Q's, but their life is a clumsy mess.
00:29:59.000 So it's like it really is dependent upon what is the mental horsepower you have and how are you applying that mental horsepower?
00:30:08.000 Are you Gary Clark Jr. and applying that mental horsepower to music and you're a genius, but you're a genius in music?
00:30:16.000 Or are you Lex Friedman and you're making, you know, artificial intelligence and working coding robots?
00:30:24.000 Are you Elon Musk?
00:30:26.000 You're making spaceships.
00:30:27.000 Like what are you doing with this intelligence?
00:30:30.000 So IQ, there's limitations of it, but at least it's an indicator of how smart a person is.
00:30:37.000 It's an indicator.
00:30:38.000 It's not the only indicator.
00:30:41.000 There's other factors that I think are much more intangible.
00:30:45.000 They're much harder to measure and weigh.
00:30:49.000 That's my take on it.
00:30:50.000 I think it means something.
00:30:53.000 I think if your parents opened up your eyes...
00:30:57.000 Something.
00:30:57.000 You know, it's like I do that bit, and it's true.
00:31:01.000 I really do.
00:31:01.000 I'm mad at my guidance counselor.
00:31:03.000 I really am, deep down inside, because, you know, he was telling you all about all these job possibilities and college possibilities, but you know what he forgot to tell us?
00:31:12.000 About New York being right across the river.
00:31:15.000 And all the possibilities you had over there.
00:31:18.000 I would've done this shit earlier.
00:31:20.000 You mean stand-up?
00:31:21.000 Everything!
00:31:21.000 I would've tried anything earlier.
00:31:23.000 The thing is, no one's ever gonna advise that you take the riskiest chance in show business.
00:31:30.000 No one's ever going to advise that you...
00:31:31.000 I didn't want to be a show business guy, but I wish you would have told me, you know, if you want to take acting lessons, you go to the city.
00:31:37.000 That's show business.
00:31:38.000 I didn't know.
00:31:38.000 I didn't know that fucking...
00:31:40.000 When I'd watch a movie, I thought you just walked on the fucking thing and they gave you a part.
00:31:43.000 That's how stupid I was when I was young.
00:31:45.000 It's not stupid.
00:31:46.000 It's uninformed.
00:31:47.000 I thought when the stand-up did a special...
00:31:50.000 I thought he just showed up.
00:31:52.000 And they had a camera and he goes, I'm ready.
00:31:54.000 And that's what I thought.
00:31:55.000 I didn't really know.
00:31:57.000 I'm mad that he didn't open up.
00:31:59.000 I see the kids I grew up with.
00:32:00.000 You've got to see the people around you.
00:32:02.000 And some of us saw some things and some of us didn't.
00:32:07.000 Some of us saw a path that was different than just getting a job and working 40 years and getting a watch.
00:32:13.000 I don't think they opened up our minds to that stuff.
00:32:18.000 There was a lot of stuff that we didn't...
00:32:20.000 In my house, she would fucking tell...
00:32:23.000 Like, my mother was crazy.
00:32:25.000 When I was six, she would put a fucking gold chain on me that belonged to a man.
00:32:29.000 And she'd make me put it out.
00:32:31.000 And she'd go, I want you to walk the streets like that.
00:32:34.000 So if somebody fucks you, you know, I mean, and now I think about these stories and I go, what was she doing?
00:32:40.000 Right.
00:32:40.000 Why was he getting you to go outside with a valuable piece of jewelry around your neck as a little kid?
00:32:45.000 I remember one night I was getting ice cream on 88th Street and the gold chain was hanging.
00:32:49.000 And when I went to get the comb from Mr. Softy, he goes, that's a nice chain.
00:32:54.000 And he looked at it.
00:32:55.000 My mother was watching from the window.
00:32:56.000 She was like, punch him in the fucking face.
00:32:58.000 I'm like, eight.
00:33:00.000 I'm like, eight, don't let nobody touch your face.
00:33:02.000 She just did things, you know?
00:33:06.000 Like, don't go in a car with people.
00:33:09.000 Just general shit that they banged into your fucking head.
00:33:13.000 Well, that's good.
00:33:14.000 All that stuff's good.
00:33:16.000 I was out there.
00:33:17.000 Like, I was out there every fucking day, you know?
00:33:19.000 It's a different kind of intelligence, right?
00:33:20.000 Street smarts.
00:33:21.000 Absolutely.
00:33:22.000 Abso-fucking-lutely.
00:33:23.000 And it's also informed.
00:33:25.000 You're informed.
00:33:26.000 You're informed about the dangers of your environment.
00:33:28.000 And some people, if they grow up in the suburbs and they go to really nice schools, they're lost in those environments.
00:33:33.000 They don't understand the rules.
00:33:34.000 Talk, I'm worried about kids today.
00:33:36.000 You should be.
00:33:39.000 I didn't know this.
00:33:40.000 I just spoke to somebody in my old neighborhood, and we were talking about something.
00:33:44.000 They go, you should see the neighborhood at 2.30.
00:33:46.000 Fucking, you can't drive.
00:33:47.000 And I go, why?
00:33:48.000 She goes, McKinley School, where I went.
00:33:50.000 She goes, the parents.
00:33:51.000 Pick them up with cars.
00:33:52.000 I go, what are you talking about?
00:33:55.000 We walked those streets home.
00:33:57.000 It's a block from the neighborhood.
00:33:59.000 She goes, not anymore.
00:34:01.000 Those kids don't walk those streets at all.
00:34:04.000 And they live right there.
00:34:05.000 I mean, it's not like across town.
00:34:08.000 You've got to get those kids out.
00:34:10.000 Yeah, they gotta get out of the house, for sure.
00:34:12.000 We gotta get them out.
00:34:12.000 How many kids are just at home playing video games all day, too?
00:34:14.000 Oh, it drives me fucking crazy when my daughter goes knocking on people's doors, and they're like, no, well, they're inside playing video games.
00:34:19.000 You know, it's 70 fucking degrees out.
00:34:22.000 Yeah.
00:34:22.000 And I just called Mr. Softee.
00:34:23.000 He's on his way.
00:34:24.000 What the fuck?
00:34:25.000 Yeah, I got Mr. Softee's number in my neighborhood.
00:34:28.000 First time I met him, I gave him an edible, and he's like, where you at?
00:34:31.000 And I told him.
00:34:31.000 Does it ring?
00:34:32.000 Does it ding-de-ding-de-ding-de-ding-de-ding?
00:34:34.000 But he comes too early.
00:34:35.000 He comes at four.
00:34:35.000 People still, you know, they're still at work.
00:34:38.000 But when that motherfucker comes, Mr. Softy, I would give him edibles, those ABX edibles, and tell him, put them in my milkshake.
00:34:45.000 And he'd blend it in the milkshake.
00:34:50.000 That's hilarious.
00:34:51.000 So, you know...
00:34:53.000 Intelligence?
00:34:54.000 Yeah, like, I know a lot of people are fucking smart, but they make mistakes.
00:35:00.000 Yeah, they make big decisions.
00:35:01.000 You go, what the fuck?
00:35:03.000 In your life, you know, relationship decisions, business decisions, yeah, friendship decisions.
00:35:10.000 Intelligence is complicated.
00:35:12.000 It's very complicated.
00:35:13.000 But the point is, some people, their mental horsepower is very low.
00:35:18.000 It's not a matter of what they apply themselves to.
00:35:21.000 It's a matter of they don't have the resources.
00:35:22.000 Their brain doesn't work good.
00:35:24.000 And I've met a lot of people like that, and I know you have too.
00:35:26.000 Where you're like, this guy ain't never going to be a genius.
00:35:29.000 There's no inspiration in him.
00:35:32.000 He doesn't have a thing he's really into.
00:35:34.000 He doesn't have a thing he likes.
00:35:35.000 He's just dull.
00:35:36.000 Dull-minded.
00:35:37.000 For whatever reason.
00:35:39.000 I don't know if it's genetics.
00:35:40.000 I don't know if it's just a roll of the dice.
00:35:42.000 Or maybe the way he was raised.
00:35:44.000 I don't know.
00:35:45.000 But some people just, they don't have a good brain.
00:35:48.000 They just don't.
00:35:49.000 So those guys, when they get that fucking Nigerian Prince email, they're like, this is it.
00:35:53.000 This is my ticket out of here.
00:35:56.000 They start fucking scraping up coins, putting quarters in rolls, bringing them to the bank.
00:36:01.000 I believe in faith.
00:36:03.000 Like, if you're broke and you go put $2 on a picket ticket, because there's $175 billion, I believe in that.
00:36:09.000 I believe in all that type of stuff, Joe.
00:36:13.000 That's the biggest scam in the world.
00:36:14.000 What's that?
00:36:14.000 The lottery.
00:36:16.000 Well, I'm not talking, even when I was a kid, the numbers.
00:36:18.000 It's three numbers.
00:36:19.000 You put $5, you win $2,500, okay?
00:36:23.000 In those small, you know, in the 70s and 60s, in the black communities, the Spanish communities.
00:36:30.000 Italian communities.
00:36:30.000 Italian communities.
00:36:31.000 That's a way of hope.
00:36:32.000 Yeah.
00:36:33.000 Your Sicilian grandmother wakes up one morning and says, oh my God, I had a dream about peppers.
00:36:38.000 Yeah.
00:36:39.000 Okay?
00:36:40.000 Peppers.
00:36:40.000 And all of a sudden your grandma, her grandmother yells, Peppers, that's 68. Yeah.
00:36:45.000 You know?
00:36:46.000 And all of a sudden you're like, put a prefix on it.
00:36:49.000 568. And, you know, this is your trip to Italy.
00:36:52.000 This is your trip to buy, this is your chance to buy your son a car.
00:36:56.000 It's like that little faith that you have.
00:36:58.000 But it's something that you have a chance at.
00:37:00.000 It's fun, too.
00:37:01.000 It's fun, you know?
00:37:02.000 The problem is the same thing as the problem with drinking, the same thing as the problem with everything else, is that people lose their fucking minds.
00:37:09.000 It's an excess.
00:37:09.000 And then it becomes everything.
00:37:11.000 I told you about my grandmother, right?
00:37:12.000 With the numbers?
00:37:13.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:37:14.000 Was she a loan shark to us?
00:37:15.000 She went to jail.
00:37:16.000 My grandmother went to jail for six months because she wouldn't rat out the people that were running the numbers.
00:37:20.000 Yeah.
00:37:21.000 Yeah.
00:37:23.000 We'd go to visit Grandma.
00:37:24.000 Where's Grandma?
00:37:25.000 Grandma's visiting Aunt Josie.
00:37:27.000 She's with Aunt Josie for six months.
00:37:29.000 It was ridiculous.
00:37:31.000 Yeah, she was knitting for the fucking guards in prison.
00:37:33.000 She wouldn't rat.
00:37:35.000 So they put her away for six months.
00:37:36.000 For bookmaking.
00:37:37.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:37:38.000 So those immigrants, those people with dreams, I see that.
00:37:42.000 But somebody just fucking calling you and going, hey, if you lend me $5 or a tele-evangelist, whatever the fuck you're saying.
00:37:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:37:49.000 Talk, I'm even like, and I hate to say this in public, but I'm down on like fucking charities and shit.
00:37:55.000 Well, that's...
00:37:56.000 Because they don't get the fucking money either unless you donate to St. Jude or something like that to You know, some guy's driving a BMW, and the people I sent the money to, you know, and it's happened to us.
00:38:07.000 We saw it, we gave money, and nothing happens.
00:38:10.000 And you're like, what the fuck, guys?
00:38:11.000 So now you just give it direct.
00:38:13.000 Have you ever seen those charts that show, like, what the money you give to charity, how much actually goes to the cause?
00:38:21.000 How much of it is just overhead?
00:38:24.000 It's ridiculous.
00:38:25.000 It's like 90%.
00:38:26.000 It's ridiculous.
00:38:27.000 So it's like 10% of the money goes to the charity.
00:38:29.000 It's a very inefficient thing.
00:38:30.000 And then you have things where the people that are running it are making enormous salaries.
00:38:36.000 And then they're like, look at the Black Lives Matter thing, where the girls are buying $6 million houses.
00:38:41.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing?
00:38:43.000 The fuck are you doing?
00:38:45.000 What are you doing?
00:38:46.000 And like, oh, we use this for events.
00:38:52.000 It's just – that happens with so many charities and so many charitable organizations.
00:39:00.000 And then there's charitable organizations like – there's foundations that are set up just as tax breaks.
00:39:06.000 So there's like tax breaks involved if you have a foundation.
00:39:09.000 It's a charitable foundation that works towards good causes like maybe climate change or maybe something along those lines, health.
00:39:16.000 You know, the global health, and then you get involved in that, and it's a nice way to avoid paying taxes, you move money around, you put money in the foundation, you kind of move it around.
00:39:28.000 You know, it's these guys that are involved in charitable organizations.
00:39:34.000 The thought behind it is beautiful.
00:39:36.000 Like, wouldn't it be great if people donated all this money to charity and we could fix a lot of things, but what you're really doing in a lot of ways is you're pumping up the business of these charities.
00:39:46.000 And then they pump up their advertising revenue.
00:39:48.000 They pump up their social media profile, their campaigns, their this, their that.
00:39:53.000 And then they get co-opted.
00:39:55.000 They get co-opted by companies, corporations, pharmaceutical companies, different mandates and narratives that they'd like to promote.
00:40:03.000 And next thing you know, charitable organizations are a part of the propaganda machine.
00:40:07.000 And it's all being funded by enormous amounts of money.
00:40:10.000 And most of that money does not go to the actual cause itself.
00:40:15.000 Have you ever seen the charts?
00:40:17.000 Pull up a chart of where the money goes.
00:40:21.000 Try to find out where the money goes.
00:40:22.000 See if there's a good chart that shows various red cross, all these different ones.
00:40:27.000 I bumped into a nun once when I was going to Catholic school.
00:40:29.000 And she told me that when people are looking for you for help, like when they're on the side of the street and they're asking you for help, that that could be Jesus in disguise.
00:40:36.000 So I fucked my world up.
00:40:38.000 Mmm.
00:40:38.000 So I started donating as a kid.
00:40:40.000 The first person I donated to was the black kid with the flies on them that they sent you the picture.
00:40:45.000 Yeah, it's always Truthers.
00:40:46.000 He wrote a letter in...
00:40:48.000 Jennison had their bit about it.
00:40:49.000 And then I never got nothing after that.
00:40:51.000 I'm writing letters.
00:40:52.000 Nobody's writing me back.
00:40:53.000 I want to know if the kid made it to the sixth grade.
00:40:55.000 I was so fucking pissed as a kid.
00:40:58.000 And then I would do the Heart Association walks.
00:41:00.000 Like, that was my shit.
00:41:02.000 And trust me, I scammed off the top.
00:41:04.000 I'm not going to lie to you.
00:41:05.000 Because I would go to my mother's bar and I'd make them give me like 10 bucks a mile.
00:41:08.000 Come on.
00:41:09.000 Right.
00:41:09.000 You know, I would show up with like $3,000 and think I was a good kid.
00:41:12.000 Finally, like after like 30, I'm like, they're going to get light this year.
00:41:16.000 I'm making $3,000 fucking dollars here.
00:41:18.000 So look at the Red Cross.
00:41:22.000 What's that?
00:41:23.000 I had it on a better website.
00:41:25.000 That wasn't too bad.
00:41:26.000 It's pretty small, though.
00:41:27.000 Okay.
00:41:28.000 Oh, shit.
00:41:29.000 Let's see what we got here.
00:41:30.000 What percentage...
00:41:35.000 Okay.
00:41:36.000 So, this shows you all the money that comes in and how much of it actually goes to programs and how much of it goes to administration and how much of it goes to fundraising.
00:41:49.000 So, Red Cross looks pretty fucking good.
00:41:52.000 Red Cross shows it's like 90% of the money goes to programs.
00:41:56.000 Only 3.5% goes to administrative and 6% goes to fundraising.
00:42:04.000 So this is what we donated to.
00:42:06.000 Remember when we did those shows in San Diego right after the fire?
00:42:08.000 And I'm like, we can't take money from these people.
00:42:11.000 They just had this massive fire.
00:42:12.000 Let's just donate all the money.
00:42:13.000 So we donated the money to Red Cross because that seemed to be the best one.
00:42:16.000 St. Jude's, 72%.
00:42:18.000 And then when you start going down the line, it starts getting sketchy.
00:42:22.000 Most of these are...
00:42:24.000 They're pretty good.
00:42:26.000 Wounded Warrior is a little weird.
00:42:27.000 34% back in the fundraising.
00:42:30.000 Yeah.
00:42:30.000 But, you know, they still at least 60% of it or close to 60% of it goes to the actual programs.
00:42:37.000 What's the worst ones though, Janet?
00:42:38.000 The worst ones was a different chart.
00:42:40.000 This is a different chart.
00:42:41.000 I want to see the worst ones.
00:42:42.000 Those are good ones.
00:42:43.000 Red Cross has always been thought of as one of the best ones in terms of the amount of money that actually goes to the cause.
00:42:52.000 These are mostly UK charities though.
00:42:57.000 Do they have American ones?
00:42:59.000 Or worldwide ones?
00:43:02.000 Let's see that one.
00:43:07.000 That just shows what people are spending on.
00:43:11.000 Worst in terms of the amount of money that goes towards the cause.
00:43:23.000 The top ten worst charities, it says Kids Wish Network is number one.
00:43:29.000 Disabled police officers, 4.4% goes to program expenses and 94% goes to professional fundraising fees.
00:43:39.000 That's crazy.
00:43:41.000 Disabled police officers counseling center, 94% of it goes to fundraising fees?
00:43:46.000 That's bonkers.
00:43:47.000 These are in New Jersey.
00:43:51.000 Right away, you're like, oh, okay.
00:43:53.000 I see what's going on.
00:43:54.000 Look at the Cancer Survivors Fund.
00:43:56.000 Hey, they survived.
00:43:57.000 That's their fucking...
00:43:58.000 That's what they get.
00:43:59.000 9% goes to programs.
00:44:03.000 87% goes to fundraising.
00:44:05.000 And they also...
00:44:06.000 I think a lot of times they make their name something close to, like, the good one.
00:44:10.000 Like, there's probably a really good Firefighters Foundation that's not...
00:44:13.000 Right.
00:44:14.000 And they call themselves the Firefighters Charitable Foundation.
00:44:17.000 Yeah.
00:44:18.000 Only 7% goes to the program.
00:44:20.000 85% goes to professional fundraising fees.
00:44:24.000 What does that even mean?
00:44:27.000 Professional fundraising fees.
00:44:28.000 But a lot of them are like that.
00:44:30.000 But you've got to also think, if you're going to run a charity, you've got to pay people something.
00:44:35.000 Kids Wish Network, look at this.
00:44:36.000 They raised $127 million.
00:44:39.000 They paid to solicitors $109 million.
00:44:44.000 And they spent percentage on direct cash aid to the actual kids is 2.5%.
00:44:50.000 2.5%.
00:44:51.000 Look at the Cancer Fund of America.
00:44:53.000 Less than 1% went to the actual thing.
00:44:57.000 Direct cash aid.
00:44:59.000 When this is direct cash aid and paid to solicitors, who's the solicitors?
00:45:03.000 Who counts as a solicitor there?
00:45:05.000 Does that mean paid to the organization?
00:45:08.000 And then they only pay out that much to the people?
00:45:13.000 Soliciting costs.
00:45:14.000 That'd be...
00:45:16.000 Probably trying to buy...
00:45:18.000 Overhead.
00:45:19.000 It's overhead.
00:45:19.000 It's everything, right?
00:45:21.000 Yeah, so it's mostly a scam.
00:45:23.000 Look at the fucking International Union of Police Associations.
00:45:26.000 Look at that one.
00:45:27.000 That's the reason I quit.
00:45:29.000 0.5%.
00:45:31.000 That's why I quit.
00:45:32.000 That's crazy.
00:45:33.000 I worked for the cops.
00:45:34.000 That's when I found out.
00:45:35.000 Three years I worked for the cops.
00:45:37.000 Doing donations on the phone after I got arrested.
00:45:39.000 I saw it in Boulder.
00:45:41.000 And when I went to Seattle, I did it there.
00:45:44.000 And then up in Seattle, I found out what the cops were getting.
00:45:48.000 I'm done.
00:45:49.000 I'm done.
00:45:50.000 You give me 50 bucks, I'm giving you a sticker for the back of your cars.
00:45:54.000 And when you get pulled over, they know that you donate.
00:45:57.000 And these guys were showing up in Maseratis every day.
00:46:00.000 They're two owners.
00:46:01.000 And I'm like, fuck you.
00:46:04.000 It's like the thing in LA with the homeless.
00:46:07.000 You know, Coleon Noir sent me head to that.
00:46:10.000 He told me they were getting, like, six-figure salaries.
00:46:13.000 I'm like, no way.
00:46:14.000 And some of them are making $240,000 a year.
00:46:16.000 Yeah, no, no, no.
00:46:17.000 Taking care of the homeless.
00:46:19.000 That is not being taken care of.
00:46:21.000 They're not doing anything about it.
00:46:24.000 They have to keep the business rolling, too.
00:46:26.000 That's the thing.
00:46:27.000 Once you have 20, 30, 50, whatever people making six figures, all that money keeps coming in.
00:46:33.000 You have all those mouths to feed, all those mortgages, all those people.
00:46:36.000 Now you have an industry.
00:46:37.000 Now you have bureaucracy, and you're never getting that back.
00:46:41.000 You'd have to have some crazy dude that comes in like, who's that guy from Argentina?
00:46:45.000 The guy that just became the president of Argentina with the wacky hair?
00:46:48.000 That guy's amazing.
00:46:51.000 He's like, everybody out!
00:46:54.000 Everybody out!
00:46:55.000 He kicked out everybody.
00:46:57.000 He cut that budget down to nothing.
00:46:59.000 Nothing?
00:47:00.000 Yeah.
00:47:01.000 He got rid of all the bullshit.
00:47:03.000 All the bullshit.
00:47:04.000 It's really crazy when I work for the cops.
00:47:05.000 I would, you know, I loved it.
00:47:07.000 It was great.
00:47:08.000 I had a great time in that office.
00:47:10.000 I'd be up there smoking dope.
00:47:12.000 But...
00:47:12.000 With the cops?
00:47:13.000 Nah, there was like one cop there.
00:47:15.000 He didn't give a fuck.
00:47:17.000 I'm over here raising money for you.
00:47:19.000 But even he was on the scam, you know?
00:47:21.000 It's like, come on, man.
00:47:22.000 When you have money that's being donated, like cash that's being donated, it's just, it's gonna get moved around.
00:47:28.000 It's like, you gotta help these fucking people out, you know?
00:47:32.000 And look at now, you go, when I came from Cuba, when I was a little kid, to learn how to do anything, the reason why I learned how to do anything was because the police athletically I swear to God.
00:47:46.000 Yeah.
00:47:47.000 Everything.
00:47:47.000 Shooting, fishing in Central Park, boxing program.
00:47:51.000 You know, you shot pool.
00:47:52.000 Who do you think taught me how to shoot pool?
00:47:54.000 Really?
00:47:54.000 Police Athletics.
00:47:55.000 Yeah, right on there in 88 in Amsterdam.
00:47:57.000 It's a smart move.
00:47:58.000 So I was always indebted to those people.
00:48:01.000 Always in my heart because I was a Spanish kid.
00:48:04.000 They took me in over there.
00:48:05.000 They fingerprinted me.
00:48:06.000 They take you to the precinct.
00:48:08.000 You shoot a.22.
00:48:09.000 They give you the target.
00:48:10.000 Oh, wow.
00:48:11.000 You little thing.
00:48:12.000 They give you like a little badge.
00:48:13.000 You know, and you're like, ah.
00:48:15.000 And so I always wanted to work for them.
00:48:17.000 Like, that was it.
00:48:18.000 I always, you know, and then after I got in trouble, I'm like, you know, I owe them a debt.
00:48:21.000 They were very good to me.
00:48:22.000 I was the guy that fucked up.
00:48:24.000 So I always worked for the cops.
00:48:26.000 I always tried to, you know, get fucking people to donate for stickers or, you know, bulletproof vests and all that shit.
00:48:33.000 And then we would do comedy at the benefits in Seattle, even though I got arrested six times.
00:48:38.000 It never worked.
00:48:39.000 They didn't fucking do anything for me.
00:48:41.000 Well, maybe you would have got arrested a lot worse.
00:48:43.000 A lot worse.
00:48:44.000 It's crazy.
00:48:45.000 When I found out, I was like, I'm out.
00:48:47.000 I'm not doing this.
00:48:48.000 And now, you know, you want to help out.
00:48:51.000 Something happens.
00:48:52.000 Hurricane relief.
00:48:53.000 And you're like, I'm not.
00:48:54.000 Right.
00:48:55.000 I'm not doing it.
00:48:55.000 I'm not doing it because it's, you know...
00:48:58.000 Right.
00:49:00.000 And you feel like shit.
00:49:01.000 I'd rather see somebody give them a 20. Some guy's hungry?
00:49:05.000 Yeah.
00:49:05.000 Just go give him a 20. I'm not giving leftover food or whatever.
00:49:08.000 Just give the guy a 20. Make his own decisions.
00:49:11.000 If he wants to snort it or buy fentanyl, go.
00:49:13.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:49:14.000 You know, it's not my problem, but I did my job.
00:49:16.000 The Red Cross seems like a good one.
00:49:18.000 But also, wasn't the Red Cross one of the people that was helping people map out the way to illegally enter the U.S.? Wasn't that one of the things that the Red Cross was doing?
00:49:29.000 Google that.
00:49:31.000 But that could be also that the Red Cross is a legitimate charitable organization and it realizes that these people are going to do this no matter what and show them the way to do it that's safe.
00:49:43.000 If they're going to do it, they're going to do it.
00:49:45.000 Showing them the way that's safe to me seems like almost an ethical thing to do if you know that this is happening.
00:49:54.000 And then providing them aid along the way so they don't die.
00:49:57.000 That seems like, you know, the whole immigration thing is very complicated.
00:50:02.000 You know, you came from immigrants.
00:50:04.000 I came from immigrants.
00:50:05.000 My grandparents were immigrants.
00:50:07.000 But it's just the way they're doing it, where anybody can get through, is so wild.
00:50:14.000 So the Red Cross has provided maps to migrants traveling towards the US border.
00:50:21.000 Now, what is their reasoning?
00:50:28.000 Is the Red Cross giving maps to migrants?
00:50:29.000 The map on the social media is real.
00:50:31.000 Different versions have existed since at least 2018 and some have been distributed by the International Committee of the Red Cross.
00:50:38.000 The ICRC is a consortium of Red Cross agencies including the American Red Cross.
00:50:45.000 The map is a part of an informational safety pamphlet provided by aid organizations including the National Red Cross Societies to Migrants Traveling to Central America.
00:50:54.000 The pamphlet also includes resource information like where to find food, shelter, and medical assistance.
00:51:00.000 While the map has been around since at least 2018, American Red Cross partnered with the Mexican Red Cross and others during the COVID-19 pandemic to promote these safety materials.
00:51:11.000 The Red Cross logos appeared across the top of the map.
00:51:14.000 The American Red Cross logo was removed in 2022 after the COVID-19 partnership expired.
00:51:20.000 The current pamphlet containing the map shows the current partners are the National Red Cross Societies of Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador.
00:51:29.000 Does not seek to encourage or discourage migration, but rather to contribute to mitigating the vulnerability factors of this population during the migratory route.
00:51:40.000 I can live with that, Chuck.
00:51:42.000 I can live with that, too.
00:51:42.000 I can live with that.
00:51:43.000 That's fair.
00:51:43.000 Yeah.
00:51:44.000 That's not encouraging people to do it.
00:51:45.000 That's saying they're doing it.
00:51:47.000 Let's make it so at least they have a safe way to do it.
00:51:50.000 Listen, man.
00:51:52.000 This migrant situation has turned everything around.
00:51:55.000 New York City, Chicago, LA, they're everywhere, you know.
00:51:59.000 And yeah, tax money and New York's giving you $10,000 now, an ATM card, right?
00:52:04.000 They give you $10,000 if you're a migrant.
00:52:06.000 Something along those lines, yeah.
00:52:08.000 You know, and I don't know.
00:52:11.000 There's a lot to say.
00:52:14.000 You know, look at our fucking vets, how they get treated.
00:52:19.000 I'm going to send you this, Jamie.
00:52:21.000 See what's going on in Paris?
00:52:23.000 They were trying to kick these dudes out of the country.
00:52:27.000 They started a riot at the airport.
00:52:30.000 Who were they trying to kick out?
00:52:32.000 Illegal immigrants.
00:52:34.000 I'll show you.
00:52:35.000 Jamie, I just sent it to you.
00:52:38.000 Yeah, and they're like, no, we're not going.
00:52:40.000 They're like, you have to go.
00:52:41.000 There's too many of you.
00:52:42.000 Like, no, fuck you.
00:52:43.000 We're not flying.
00:52:43.000 And they started a riot at the airport.
00:52:45.000 They were trying to deport him.
00:52:47.000 And they're like, uh-uh.
00:52:49.000 We're here.
00:52:50.000 Listen, all I remember is one thing, Joe.
00:52:52.000 And I use this, and I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody.
00:52:54.000 Look at this.
00:52:56.000 Give me the volume.
00:53:01.000 This is a full-on Donnybrook At the airport.
00:53:07.000 They're beating up attendants.
00:53:10.000 Security guys are getting fucked up.
00:53:20.000 This is wild shit, man.
00:53:22.000 So they got them over there too?
00:53:24.000 Yeah, they have a lot.
00:53:25.000 A lot.
00:53:26.000 A lot of migrants in Europe.
00:53:28.000 Yeah, it's basically, it happened right after the pandemic in mass.
00:53:33.000 It's just massive amounts of migrants in Europe, massive amounts of migrants here.
00:53:38.000 It's almost like it's on purpose.
00:53:42.000 If it's not on purpose, what a coincidence.
00:53:44.000 But it just seemed like there just wasn't migrants coming in.
00:53:48.000 But what I was telling you before was, I think I told you last time, I saw what the Mario Boatlift did to my area.
00:53:55.000 Hudson County, not in 1979, but I saw it five years later.
00:54:01.000 And then I saw what they were doing in San Francisco.
00:54:05.000 When I got to San Francisco in 95, there was a huge Cuban population.
00:54:09.000 San Francisco.
00:54:10.000 So this is the people that took off...
00:54:11.000 For Mario in 78, 79. Is this when Fidel kicked him out?
00:54:15.000 Yes.
00:54:16.000 He kicked out 160,000 people.
00:54:19.000 We didn't have records on these people.
00:54:21.000 So we didn't really know what they were about.
00:54:24.000 They could just tell you I worked in construction, you know, and they didn't know.
00:54:28.000 So this is that, but ten times.
00:54:33.000 Right.
00:54:34.000 That was 100,000 people, 200,000.
00:54:36.000 This is 8 million or something like that.
00:54:39.000 Yeah.
00:54:39.000 Right?
00:54:39.000 That come through?
00:54:40.000 At least.
00:54:41.000 You're not going to feel this today.
00:54:43.000 You're going to feel this five years from now.
00:54:45.000 Well, they could feel it real soon, depending upon who the people are and why they're here.
00:54:49.000 You know, the most troubling version is sleeper cells.
00:54:55.000 The most troubling version is that there's military cells that exist here.
00:54:59.000 Terror cells.
00:55:00.000 The Chinese were coming in.
00:55:01.000 Now they're growing wheat.
00:55:03.000 Are they?
00:55:03.000 Chinese?
00:55:05.000 Jamie, go to the videotape.
00:55:08.000 Chinese are buying farms.
00:55:10.000 You just had somebody on here that was talking about the Chinese are buying farms here.
00:55:15.000 Yes, they're definitely buying farms.
00:55:16.000 What do you think they're doing with those fucking farms?
00:55:18.000 Grazing fucking sushi?
00:55:19.000 No!
00:55:21.000 They're fucking grown reefer.
00:55:23.000 Department of Homeland Security memo first reported by the Daily Caller received as a part of the Freedom of Information Act request said that more than 270 unlicensed cannabis cultivation sites in Maine were operated by Chinese nationals.
00:55:37.000 Who the fuck you think you're dealing with, Joy Bonacci?
00:55:39.000 Wow.
00:55:40.000 275 grow-ups in Maine.
00:55:42.000 And the weed is on fire up there in New Hampshire.
00:55:45.000 Is it?
00:55:46.000 They say that's the best weed right now, New Hampshire.
00:55:49.000 Really?
00:55:49.000 New Hampshire?
00:55:51.000 Somewhere up there.
00:55:52.000 New Hampshire, Maine.
00:55:53.000 They say the weed is so fucking strong.
00:55:56.000 Hmm.
00:55:58.000 Hmm.
00:56:01.000 See that?
00:56:02.000 Look at that.
00:56:03.000 Yeah!
00:56:04.000 So what is the legalization of weed in Maine?
00:56:08.000 Is it legal there?
00:56:11.000 Not sure, brother.
00:56:12.000 It's legal in so many states now.
00:56:14.000 Maine, New Hampshire, I think.
00:56:18.000 How much cannabis can I possess?
00:56:20.000 Adults 21 years of age or older can possess up to 2.5 ounces of a combination of cannabis, cannabis concentrate, and cannabis products, including no more than five grams of cannabis concentrate.
00:56:31.000 How many plants can I grow?
00:56:32.000 Mainers can grow cannabis for personal use.
00:56:35.000 That's reasonable.
00:56:37.000 Is that your phone?
00:56:39.000 No.
00:56:40.000 Something's ringing.
00:56:42.000 That's you, bro.
00:56:46.000 It's ringing like a phone phone.
00:56:50.000 You get the old school ring on there.
00:56:52.000 You pick that?
00:56:55.000 Yeah.
00:57:00.000 Yeah, and Jersey's buck wild, right?
00:57:02.000 What do you mean?
00:57:03.000 With weed.
00:57:05.000 I just started going to weed stores in January.
00:57:08.000 I said, you know what?
00:57:09.000 I'm done with laughing gas.
00:57:11.000 I gotta expand my horizon and see what's out there.
00:57:15.000 And the first one I went to was in Neptune.
00:57:17.000 And they're pretty impressive.
00:57:19.000 It's a big fucking joint.
00:57:21.000 I forget the name of it.
00:57:22.000 It's pretty impressive.
00:57:23.000 Second place I went to is 15 minutes from my house, Joe, right by the doctor's office in Freehold.
00:57:29.000 Holy shit.
00:57:30.000 And that's when I discovered rhythm.
00:57:32.000 Because I was like, listen, I'm here to see the devil.
00:57:35.000 I don't wanna know that Jersey fuckin' swank, you know?
00:57:38.000 And it's, everything's in containers, it's completely different, you know?
00:57:43.000 And they got, I got this rhythm, 36%.
00:57:46.000 Jesus.
00:57:47.000 And I'm like, this is me, dog.
00:57:48.000 Check this out from the, I guess this is, what is this?
00:57:52.000 Affidavit for probable cause.
00:57:54.000 From where?
00:57:55.000 From the Chinese immigrants in Maine.
00:58:00.000 It says, we are in prison.
00:58:02.000 Please come and save us.
00:58:04.000 We are here.
00:58:05.000 It gives the address.
00:58:06.000 No cell phones.
00:58:08.000 We are abducted from China.
00:58:09.000 Passports were confiscated.
00:58:11.000 The boss is a woman.
00:58:12.000 5'2", about 45 years old.
00:58:14.000 No means of transportation.
00:58:16.000 The manager is Asian, black hair, 5'6".
00:58:18.000 A lot of marijuana is grown on the first floor.
00:58:20.000 A lot of finished products.
00:58:22.000 No escape from the house.
00:58:24.000 Only work, but no salary.
00:58:26.000 I want to leave here.
00:58:27.000 We tried to escape, but failed.
00:58:29.000 We were beaten.
00:58:29.000 Please come and save us.
00:58:31.000 Whoa.
00:58:32.000 Fuck.
00:58:32.000 So they got slaves working, making the weed in Maine.
00:58:38.000 Yeah, Shanghai'd.
00:58:40.000 Yeah.
00:58:41.000 Yeah.
00:58:42.000 And that shit's strong.
00:58:43.000 That's the shit that the Boeing mechanics are smoking.
00:58:45.000 Isn't that crazy that there's slaves in America right now growing weed for China?
00:58:52.000 Let's see where this is gonna go.
00:58:54.000 It's fucking interesting.
00:58:55.000 That's crazy.
00:58:56.000 I saw this a couple weeks ago.
00:58:57.000 I read the article.
00:58:58.000 I'm like, oh, and then that guy said it on your podcast.
00:59:01.000 Well, he said about farmland, yeah, but I didn't know it was happening like that.
00:59:05.000 The fuck you think they're doing?
00:59:06.000 Growing fucking bean sprouts or soy sprouts?
00:59:09.000 They're going for it, Jack.
00:59:11.000 Well, they're controlling farmland.
00:59:12.000 It's around military bases.
00:59:13.000 That's what's scary.
00:59:14.000 And a lot of Chinese were coming through the border with these guys.
00:59:18.000 Yeah, military age.
00:59:20.000 A lot of Chinese.
00:59:21.000 So let's see where this hand is getting played.
00:59:24.000 Not only a lot of Chinese, but they have Chinese stops where you can go and everybody speaks Chinese along the way.
00:59:30.000 They have a Chinese restaurant.
00:59:31.000 Everything's written in Chinese.
00:59:33.000 Chinese signs everywhere.
00:59:35.000 So they have a very specific, organized route to get to America.
00:59:39.000 And these guys are all young, fit guys coming to America.
00:59:43.000 Like, what are you doing?
00:59:45.000 Like, what the fuck is going on here?
00:59:47.000 We're just basically sitting ducks.
00:59:49.000 We're waiting.
00:59:50.000 Yeah, we're sitting ducks.
00:59:51.000 And there was a big warning today.
00:59:55.000 Homeland Security's warning about terrorist attacks in America.
01:00:00.000 That's what scares me about this fucking election, too.
01:00:03.000 I'm not saying that they would do this, but I definitely think they have in the past.
01:00:10.000 Like, allowed things to happen just so they can tighten up on restrictions and laws and scare people more and get people to vote one way or another.
01:00:23.000 Scary shit.
01:00:24.000 We're looking at weird times, my friend.
01:00:26.000 The weirdest, right?
01:00:27.000 The fucking weirdest.
01:00:28.000 And ever in your life, could you ever imagine things be so bizarre as they are right now?
01:00:33.000 They've been bizarre for about five years now, where you just can't believe the shit you're hearing, and you just say, you know what, I'm gonna stick to my camp.
01:00:40.000 I'm good here.
01:00:41.000 It was bizarre in 2017, but it wasn't bizarre like now.
01:00:46.000 No.
01:00:46.000 This is something different.
01:00:47.000 This is insane.
01:00:48.000 Diddy getting arrested.
01:00:50.000 Just everything.
01:00:51.000 Everything.
01:00:51.000 Just a bridge getting hit.
01:00:53.000 It's something every fucking week.
01:00:55.000 Every day.
01:00:56.000 You know, Trump, $480 million.
01:00:58.000 They need it by Monday.
01:01:00.000 I mean, it's just fucking...
01:01:03.000 I thought Mark Cuban would bail him out.
01:01:05.000 I didn't know who the fuck was gonna bail him out.
01:01:07.000 Yeah, how does that work?
01:01:08.000 I think they knocked it down to $175 billion.
01:01:10.000 They asked him how's he gonna pay it.
01:01:11.000 He goes, cash.
01:01:13.000 And now he's worth six point something billion because of the social deal.
01:01:17.000 Right.
01:01:18.000 It's all stock, I guess.
01:01:19.000 Right.
01:01:19.000 The whole thing...
01:01:20.000 I'm not a financial guy, obviously, but I think the whole thing is liquidity.
01:01:25.000 How much money do you actually have coming in?
01:01:27.000 How much is it tied up in real estate investments and holdings and Trump's got buildings and hotels and resorts and...
01:01:34.000 It's a lot.
01:01:37.000 A lot going on.
01:01:38.000 How the fuck can he pay attention to all that shit?
01:01:42.000 Can you imagine running some kind of a business empire, trying to pay attention to everything?
01:01:47.000 Doug, I met him when he was fucking at a football team.
01:01:49.000 Really?
01:01:50.000 Yeah, he owned the fucking generals.
01:01:53.000 That's how I knew Herschel Walker and those people.
01:01:55.000 That's how I met those dudes.
01:01:57.000 When was this?
01:01:58.000 Fucking 85. You met Trump in 85?
01:02:00.000 A long time ago.
01:02:01.000 What was he like in 85?
01:02:02.000 Hello, goodbye.
01:02:03.000 I don't fucking know.
01:02:04.000 It's not like we hung out.
01:02:06.000 I was scared of him.
01:02:07.000 Why?
01:02:08.000 Because it was like, I told you, when I got out of jail, I was supposed to have a job selling siding and doors and saddles and electrical equipment, an indoor salesman in Jersey.
01:02:19.000 And when I got out of prison, I go, I'm out.
01:02:21.000 Can I come take the job now?
01:02:23.000 And he goes, I can't.
01:02:24.000 We're going out of business.
01:02:25.000 And I go, what happened?
01:02:26.000 He goes, Trump built something.
01:02:29.000 He was going to these little hardware stores like ours, told us to go fuck ourselves.
01:02:35.000 We're done.
01:02:36.000 I knew this in 88. What do you mean?
01:02:40.000 At that time, supposedly, he would build something.
01:02:43.000 It's like you coming to somebody, a little restaurant and going, I want to build my own fucking steak.
01:02:49.000 And he would go to people and say, I'm going to build this and then use your lumber or whatever the fuck.
01:02:57.000 And since there's so much with contractors, there's subcontractors and subcontractors, they would stiff their bills.
01:03:04.000 They weren't paying their bills.
01:03:05.000 Really?
01:03:06.000 Yeah, this one out of the light.
01:03:07.000 You can look it up.
01:03:08.000 This isn't something, you know, and that's all I remember from Trump.
01:03:13.000 I met him in 85, and I fucking, that was my only thing with Trump.
01:03:19.000 You know, if you're from New York, you know who he is.
01:03:21.000 You've been hearing the name growing up.
01:03:22.000 Yeah, I remember hearing about this from you, actually, now.
01:03:26.000 You were telling me that there was, uh, with contractors.
01:03:29.000 Yeah.
01:03:29.000 Stiff, small contractors.
01:03:31.000 Small contractors, and then we'll go downhill.
01:03:33.000 You know, run downhill.
01:03:35.000 So now I gave you all the doors I had for your project.
01:03:38.000 Trump just wasn't building one house with one window.
01:03:42.000 I'm giving you everything on the arm.
01:03:44.000 Yeah, you gave me a deposit.
01:03:46.000 Maybe sometimes not.
01:03:47.000 Maybe I'm so excited to do business with Trump.
01:03:49.000 I got such a small place that I forget everything.
01:03:53.000 You know, whatever the fuck happens.
01:03:54.000 Yeah.
01:03:55.000 So that's what happened in 88. I mean, I don't know the whole story, but he mentioned Trump.
01:04:02.000 That's all I remember from that fucking guy.
01:04:05.000 I would also imagine if you're doing some big projects like that, it's probably a lot of people involved.
01:04:09.000 A lot of people.
01:04:10.000 Making decisions.
01:04:11.000 A building?
01:04:11.000 Yeah.
01:04:12.000 A building?
01:04:13.000 He's the GC. He takes bids for everything else, right?
01:04:16.000 That's how it usually works.
01:04:17.000 Is that what Trump does as a real estate developer?
01:04:20.000 I don't know how it goes down, but there's a GC, a general contractor, and then...
01:04:25.000 There's windows, wiring, you know, all the different departments.
01:04:29.000 You don't know what everybody's doing.
01:04:31.000 Right.
01:04:31.000 You got 20 people in your fucking building.
01:04:33.000 Right.
01:04:34.000 You know, when you built the comedy club, how many people were fucking there every day?
01:04:38.000 Yeah, a lot.
01:04:39.000 You don't know.
01:04:40.000 Right.
01:04:41.000 You don't know.
01:04:41.000 You're not a contractor, so you don't know if they're doing the war right.
01:04:44.000 You know, you just trust whatever.
01:04:45.000 So this is all I remember.
01:04:47.000 That was it.
01:04:49.000 Hmm.
01:04:52.000 Yeah.
01:04:52.000 Well, the whole construction business was always shady.
01:04:56.000 And it was always tied up with the mob.
01:04:58.000 Like, I knew a couple guys who had no-show-up jobs.
01:05:01.000 Yeah.
01:05:01.000 Like at the Javits Center.
01:05:02.000 Yeah.
01:05:03.000 You just get paid.
01:05:05.000 Concrete.
01:05:05.000 Yeah.
01:05:06.000 They own concrete.
01:05:07.000 That was the thing.
01:05:08.000 The mob would make deals whenever any sort of job was getting done.
01:05:12.000 They'd have a certain amount of no-show jobs for their guys.
01:05:14.000 Always.
01:05:16.000 Always.
01:05:17.000 And then you get insurance.
01:05:19.000 And that's when you arrest those guys and you go, what do you do for a living?
01:05:22.000 I'm in the carpenters' unit.
01:05:24.000 Carpenters' unit.
01:05:24.000 You don't even know what an inch is.
01:05:26.000 You don't even know how to measure six inches, you fuck.
01:05:29.000 Yeah.
01:05:30.000 Yeah, it was a scam.
01:05:31.000 But it was how they avoided taxes too, right?
01:05:33.000 Because taxes was what brought a lot of them down.
01:05:36.000 That's what brought Al Capone down.
01:05:38.000 Tax evasion.
01:05:38.000 Tax evasion.
01:05:39.000 Yeah.
01:05:40.000 But the other guys were pretty smart.
01:05:41.000 They had the millionaire club, the bid club.
01:05:47.000 They would only do $2 million bids or something.
01:05:49.000 They would take $2 million right off the top to mob on every job.
01:05:52.000 Are you fucking kidding me?
01:05:55.000 Just, are you kidding me?
01:05:56.000 Every job in New York, you know, it's well known that when the little guy from Arizona who was over there with Gotti, he controlled construction.
01:06:04.000 Like, that was his fucking thing, you know?
01:06:06.000 You couldn't get anything built without that fucking dude.
01:06:08.000 Can you imagine if you live in New York City at that time and you're trying to build buildings and you gotta do deals with the mob?
01:06:15.000 And you gotta do deals with Sammy the Bull?
01:06:18.000 Well, here's the deal.
01:06:18.000 Like, I remember in 80, 90, I was roofing.
01:06:23.000 And the company was from Jersey, my brother-in-law.
01:06:25.000 And I asked him, you know, why'd you pick up this job?
01:06:28.000 And he was telling me, it's just so difficult.
01:06:30.000 And I go, what do you mean?
01:06:31.000 He goes, take the dumpster.
01:06:33.000 That dumpster that they pick up every day and take off and they bring another one?
01:06:37.000 In Colorado at the time, it was $200.
01:06:40.000 That same dumpster in New York was $2,000 a day.
01:06:44.000 That's how inflated the prices were.
01:06:47.000 $1,800 different.
01:06:50.000 It's fucking crazy.
01:06:51.000 That's what the cost of doing fucking construction, you know, in New York.
01:06:55.000 Wow.
01:06:56.000 Well, it was always a corrupt town.
01:06:58.000 Like, that's why it took the UFC forever to get into New York.
01:07:03.000 It was...
01:07:03.000 Gotta pay the right...
01:07:04.000 Look at these people waiting for licenses.
01:07:05.000 Yeah.
01:07:06.000 I know people in Jersey waiting for a license since I landed.
01:07:09.000 I got a license.
01:07:11.000 Mm-hmm.
01:07:12.000 You gotta grease 80 fucking people.
01:07:15.000 80 people.
01:07:16.000 You got to know people, pay.
01:07:18.000 I know companies that are still waiting for a license from L.A. They just thought they were going to come and apply in New Jersey or in New York City.
01:07:26.000 Look at New York City.
01:07:27.000 They had a thing.
01:07:28.000 They were giving licenses only to people who had felonies.
01:07:32.000 Did you remember that?
01:07:32.000 In New York, they wanted the ideal medical marijuana owner as an ex-convict who went to prison or got in trouble for marijuana.
01:07:42.000 This is his second chance.
01:07:44.000 Check it out.
01:07:44.000 It's fucking insane.
01:07:46.000 Can't get a license in New Jersey.
01:07:48.000 That is kind of crazy, but...
01:07:51.000 They should do something for those poor fucks that went to jail for weed.
01:07:55.000 Nobody should ever went to jail for weed.
01:07:56.000 No.
01:07:57.000 It's ridiculous.
01:07:58.000 No.
01:07:58.000 It's a ridiculous thing to put people in jail for.
01:08:01.000 You put people in a cage for that.
01:08:04.000 Especially while everything else is okay.
01:08:06.000 Doesn't make any sense.
01:08:07.000 Look what you're finding out now.
01:08:08.000 Look at this guy today.
01:08:09.000 I got in the uber fresh out of smoking a fucking joint of this shit this morning.
01:08:14.000 Thank God the guy was Cuban.
01:08:15.000 When they send you the Uber name, the guy's name was Antonio.
01:08:19.000 I go, he's Cuban.
01:08:21.000 Got in the car.
01:08:22.000 I was in the car two minutes.
01:08:23.000 He goes, what is that shit?
01:08:28.000 And I just gave him the canist.
01:08:29.000 I go, smell this.
01:08:30.000 He's like, wow.
01:08:32.000 And this is a guy that's been in this country for 10 years.
01:08:34.000 And he said to me, you know, I don't know what the fuss is about this.
01:08:38.000 This is a magical herb.
01:08:40.000 People don't realize when you smoke this, pains go away, you start thinking clearer.
01:08:45.000 He goes, it takes time.
01:08:46.000 There's a fucking Uber driver telling me this shit.
01:08:49.000 And I asked him, how do you know about this stuff?
01:08:50.000 He goes, in Cuba, we were growing weed.
01:08:53.000 Really?
01:08:53.000 It was outdoor weed.
01:08:54.000 It wasn't that strong, and sometimes they bring it from Jamaica.
01:08:58.000 That's what he was saying.
01:08:59.000 We were getting Cuba weed from Jamaica.
01:09:02.000 Because, you know, I mean, the soil is done in Cuba.
01:09:05.000 Really?
01:09:06.000 Well, they're complaining about cigars.
01:09:08.000 These cigars aren't tasting the same.
01:09:10.000 They said that the fucking soil has just been abused.
01:09:12.000 There's no nourishment.
01:09:14.000 Right.
01:09:14.000 This guy was telling me today it costs more for a pack of chicken in Cuba than what it does in the United States.
01:09:21.000 A gallon of gas costs more in Cuba than what it does right here now, here in Austin.
01:09:26.000 Well, it makes sense.
01:09:27.000 I mean, it makes sense.
01:09:28.000 You have to have infrastructure.
01:09:31.000 You have to have capitalism.
01:09:32.000 You have to have people competing.
01:09:34.000 That whole communism thing doesn't work.
01:09:37.000 And the thing is, like, the thing that the people that love communism point to, they're like, yeah, but we put an embargo on Cuba.
01:09:43.000 Like, what if we didn't do that?
01:09:45.000 Like, what?
01:09:45.000 Yeah?
01:09:46.000 It's still a dictatorship.
01:09:48.000 It still is.
01:09:49.000 You get told what you're doing with your life.
01:09:52.000 You don't want that.
01:09:54.000 Nobody wants that.
01:09:55.000 You might think that that is better because there's no rich people.
01:10:01.000 If that's what you're thinking, you're missing everything because that means everybody's poor.
01:10:06.000 You don't want everybody to be poor.
01:10:08.000 You want everybody to have a chance to be well off.
01:10:11.000 That's what you have here.
01:10:13.000 Now, some people, they get a bad roll of the dice, they get a bad hand of cards, they get a bad situation in life, they get a bad place that they live, and they're fucked.
01:10:21.000 This is true.
01:10:22.000 And it's not fair.
01:10:23.000 It's not fair in terms of equal opportunity.
01:10:25.000 It's not.
01:10:26.000 But in terms of opportunity, there's no place better than right here.
01:10:30.000 And there's no place better with actual capitalism.
01:10:33.000 You can do great things.
01:10:35.000 You can do great things not just for you, but for other people.
01:10:38.000 You can do great things.
01:10:40.000 If people give you the freedom To do great things.
01:10:44.000 But if you live in a socialist country, you don't have any of that.
01:10:47.000 You don't get to decide what you do.
01:10:49.000 The state gets to decide.
01:10:51.000 And how do they enforce that?
01:10:52.000 There's only one way.
01:10:53.000 Force.
01:10:54.000 Military.
01:10:55.000 There's only one way to get people to follow the rules of communism and socialism, and it's always a dictatorship.
01:11:02.000 It's always one group has all the money and all the power and they tell you what the fuck you're gonna do.
01:11:07.000 And if you don't do it, they kill you or they lock you up in jail.
01:11:10.000 And they threaten people and they scare people and they make people disappear so everybody stays in line.
01:11:15.000 And that is what people always do whenever you get a communist country.
01:11:19.000 If you ask any of these wacky kids in colleges, give me an example of socialism that works.
01:11:25.000 They'll give you like socialist programs or countries like some Norwegian countries that have a lot of socialist programs that are really good countries.
01:11:34.000 They have really good healthcare, really good education.
01:11:36.000 You pay a lot in taxes, but it goes a long way.
01:11:39.000 And they have a better society because of it.
01:11:41.000 That's great.
01:11:42.000 But they still have the freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to do.
01:11:45.000 They still have the freedom to do whatever kind of occupations they want.
01:11:49.000 You have the ability to make a shitload of money.
01:11:52.000 You have the ability to excel.
01:11:55.000 The problem is people want a quality of outcome when they don't have anything.
01:11:59.000 But you're never gonna have that because, first of all, it's impossible.
01:12:03.000 But second of all, because you're never gonna have a quality of effort And one of the things that a competitive environment or a place like America where you have freedom is, some people put more into life.
01:12:15.000 They put more into the things they do.
01:12:17.000 And they get more back.
01:12:19.000 They get more out of it.
01:12:20.000 And they're inspiring to other people to do the same.
01:12:22.000 And you see them live a rich and fulfilled life and you're inspired to do the same.
01:12:28.000 That's not happening to Cuba, bro.
01:12:29.000 That is not happening.
01:12:31.000 No.
01:12:31.000 That's not happening in any of these communist countries.
01:12:34.000 Go to North Korea.
01:12:34.000 Ask me how it worked out when they made a deal to take over all the farms so that no one would ever go hungry.
01:12:41.000 Let the state control everything.
01:12:42.000 What a great idea.
01:12:43.000 Everybody give up your farm to the state.
01:12:45.000 Now you're fucked.
01:12:47.000 Now you're fucked.
01:12:48.000 That's the beauty, you know, as somebody who knew that of the side, not from living it, but just from hearing the stories, it makes you appreciate this so much more.
01:12:58.000 Yeah.
01:12:59.000 That, listen, you could...
01:13:02.000 You could fall into place in this country, or you don't need a ceiling over your income.
01:13:08.000 This is the greatest thing about this country.
01:13:11.000 It's like when I first got out there, I always worked on commission, Joe.
01:13:15.000 I don't want your hourly wage.
01:13:17.000 Shove that up your fucking ass.
01:13:18.000 I'm gonna come here and prove myself.
01:13:20.000 You want me to sell cars?
01:13:21.000 I'll sell cars.
01:13:22.000 Want me to sell doors or signs?
01:13:24.000 I'll sell them, but I'm doing it on commission.
01:13:26.000 I want the most that I could get for that fucking thing.
01:13:29.000 Most people don't...
01:13:30.000 I did that at 19. I knew.
01:13:33.000 For me, it was going to be commission work.
01:13:35.000 Yeah, and it's a dangerous choice.
01:13:37.000 It's a dangerous choice, but it's based on you.
01:13:39.000 Right.
01:13:40.000 With the effort you put into it.
01:13:41.000 Exactly.
01:13:42.000 If you want to sell.
01:13:43.000 When I worked at Foot Locker, I was the number one fucking sneaker dude at Foot Locker.
01:13:48.000 And it took me a while, but I fucking went.
01:13:51.000 And then when I started selling cars, again, I went for it.
01:13:55.000 Because I loved it.
01:13:56.000 I learned about salesmanship.
01:13:57.000 I learned about human nature.
01:14:00.000 I learned that you have to mail letters to people.
01:14:03.000 Those are the guys.
01:14:04.000 I know they're not going to buy a car, but if you send 100 letters, three people have to buy a fucking car.
01:14:08.000 So you're working on all numbers.
01:14:11.000 The United States is a beautiful fucking place.
01:14:15.000 Because a guy like me could write a book.
01:14:19.000 Think about that.
01:14:21.000 Yeah.
01:14:21.000 You know, a guy like me could, you know, went to prison.
01:14:25.000 You know, I didn't get Social Security when my mother died because she worked under a fucking alias.
01:14:29.000 You know, everything got beat up on me.
01:14:31.000 But let me tell you what's about to happen.
01:14:33.000 I'm going to retire when I'm 65, collect Social Security, and my daughter gets Social Security now for three years.
01:14:40.000 Which is like $1,800 a month for college or whatever the fuck, you know.
01:14:43.000 I don't give a fuck.
01:14:44.000 So it all came out in the wash 40 years fucking later.
01:14:48.000 I didn't have the social security for me because my mom used the alias.
01:14:51.000 But my point is, dog, you can do whatever you fucking want.
01:14:55.000 You saw it, Joe.
01:14:56.000 We were talking about it today.
01:14:58.000 Kids were coming down here with cars, living in their cars.
01:15:00.000 And look what they're doing now because they believed in themselves.
01:15:04.000 You gave them a fucking door and they fucking took it.
01:15:08.000 Most people are still in LA. My agent said nothing's going to happen.
01:15:12.000 OK. You know, it's the same thing.
01:15:15.000 Some people take chances.
01:15:16.000 Some people sit there waiting for the bluebird of happiness.
01:15:19.000 That's the other option you have in this country.
01:15:22.000 You can actually sit and wait for the bluebird of happiness.
01:15:25.000 When I came out of prison, all I had to do was sign a piece of paper, and I'm disabled for life.
01:15:30.000 I got a $1,300 check every month.
01:15:33.000 And some people would take that and go look at me.
01:15:36.000 I'm living like a doctor.
01:15:38.000 Think about that.
01:15:39.000 Some people would go, $1,300 a month?
01:15:41.000 Fuck, that's me.
01:15:43.000 Food stamps?
01:15:44.000 That's me.
01:15:45.000 I could still take my bills.
01:15:46.000 I could still, you know, it's fucking insane.
01:15:49.000 It's the choices that you make, Joe.
01:15:52.000 And it can imprison you.
01:15:53.000 That kind of money, even a small amount of money can imprison you.
01:15:56.000 That's what scares me about universal basic income.
01:15:59.000 You know, people say if they gave everybody X amount of money, people could just pursue their dreams and they wouldn't have to worry about food.
01:16:05.000 No.
01:16:06.000 They probably won't.
01:16:08.000 Yeah.
01:16:09.000 You can't give anything to anybody.
01:16:11.000 We're humans.
01:16:12.000 Yeah.
01:16:13.000 We take it for granted.
01:16:14.000 Yeah.
01:16:15.000 We get 10 checks in the mail for a thousand a month.
01:16:17.000 They cut us off.
01:16:18.000 We don't know what the fuck happened.
01:16:20.000 Right.
01:16:20.000 I'd rather not get anything.
01:16:22.000 Where are all these people?
01:16:24.000 After COVID, everybody fucking got checks in the mail.
01:16:27.000 Now you can't get people to work no more.
01:16:29.000 Right.
01:16:29.000 Can't get people to work.
01:16:31.000 You go to a place that's a great restaurant or something, and the first three people you face don't even know where the fuck they're at.
01:16:36.000 Right.
01:16:37.000 But they had to hire them.
01:16:39.000 You know, you gave people money.
01:16:40.000 Now they're not gonna come back.
01:16:42.000 They're gonna build ways not to come back.
01:16:44.000 People were living it up during COVID, Doug.
01:16:46.000 Living it up!
01:16:48.000 Unemployment, this, that.
01:16:49.000 We still had to go out there and crack fucking stupid jokes outside, getting attacked by fucking spiders and shit, thinking there's a leopard in the fucking thing.
01:16:57.000 Seriously.
01:16:58.000 The first time I went outside with Rich Voss, I didn't know what the fuck that was.
01:17:04.000 A bat almost hit me on stage.
01:17:06.000 And I told him, and he goes, oh, you missed the other night.
01:17:08.000 There was a fucking bear.
01:17:10.000 And he was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:17:12.000 There was a bear in the woods.
01:17:13.000 I don't know what he was talking about.
01:17:14.000 Some bear, a boar.
01:17:16.000 Well, there's a lot of them out there in New Jersey, right?
01:17:18.000 Yeah, you were telling me last time.
01:17:20.000 But, you know, America's fucking beautiful, man.
01:17:24.000 Where else can a felon with two strikes...
01:17:28.000 I got two strikes.
01:17:29.000 My next strike is life, right?
01:17:32.000 They give you like 20 years if you have three strikes.
01:17:34.000 When have you met a guy that's down on two strikes that did anything?
01:17:40.000 You just give up.
01:17:41.000 Yeah.
01:17:42.000 They're gonna get me.
01:17:43.000 I refused.
01:17:44.000 I told them, suck my dick.
01:17:46.000 Even when the feds were looking for me at 99 for that gun, I wasn't copping.
01:17:51.000 I don't know what you're talking about.
01:17:54.000 I don't know, man.
01:17:55.000 I'm not doing it.
01:17:56.000 This is the path I'm taking.
01:17:58.000 I don't know what...
01:17:58.000 And I never got in trouble again, Joe.
01:18:00.000 Never.
01:18:01.000 You know, comedy became...
01:18:03.000 You need something to get you out of there.
01:18:06.000 Yes.
01:18:07.000 You know, I just didn't stop doing coke.
01:18:09.000 Nobody just stops doing coke, Joe.
01:18:11.000 They go to eight rehabs.
01:18:13.000 But I saw something on the other side.
01:18:16.000 I saw what my friends were doing.
01:18:18.000 I saw what people were doing.
01:18:20.000 And once you hear about Roseanne getting the Tonight Show, were you there?
01:18:24.000 No.
01:18:25.000 Were you there when fucking Rodney blew up the garden?
01:18:28.000 No.
01:18:28.000 To see it is something completely different.
01:18:31.000 When you're at the store with guys working the door, how much were we getting?
01:18:36.000 $25 a shift?
01:18:37.000 She was paying me $25 on Sunday nights to work the door and $25 to MC. That's no money.
01:18:45.000 But you fall in love with what you're doing.
01:18:47.000 Yeah.
01:18:48.000 And you know there's a path.
01:18:49.000 And there's a path.
01:18:50.000 And when you start seeing other people rise, and you're stuck as a fucking addict.
01:18:55.000 You're fucking stuck.
01:18:57.000 You don't know when to stop.
01:18:59.000 I was stuck as an addict, and I got to being stuck as a fat dude.
01:19:03.000 Because there was a point, if my elevator broke, I wouldn't leave the fucking house.
01:19:06.000 I'm not walking those three flights of stairs.
01:19:09.000 I was 450 pounds.
01:19:10.000 I'm not doing it.
01:19:11.000 Were you really that big?
01:19:12.000 418, 420. My wife was tying my shoelaces.
01:19:16.000 You know how embarrassing that fucking is?
01:19:18.000 Wow.
01:19:18.000 You know how fucking embarrassing that is, looking back at it now?
01:19:21.000 People coming to visit you and jazz.
01:19:23.000 That's bullshit life, man.
01:19:25.000 Yeah.
01:19:26.000 There's so much out there, Joe.
01:19:28.000 There's so fucking...
01:19:30.000 And now, that's what I'm trying to sell to my daughter.
01:19:33.000 There's so much out there.
01:19:35.000 You know, people in New Jersey, all they know is Florida.
01:19:38.000 I've never seen fucking people that love Florida so much.
01:19:41.000 I can't stand fucking Florida because they like it so much.
01:19:45.000 You know, vacation for people in Jersey, one week in Atlantic City, they bust out the white shoes, then there's one week in Florida.
01:19:51.000 That was not gonna be me.
01:19:53.000 Did you see that cop on TV? Which cop?
01:19:55.000 Yesterday, they were saying, if someone breaks in your house in Florida, please shoot them.
01:19:59.000 We prefer if you shoot them.
01:20:02.000 That's what we've gotten to now.
01:20:03.000 Did you see that guy?
01:20:04.000 Have you seen it, Jamie?
01:20:05.000 I'll send it to you.
01:20:06.000 I mean, he's getting a lot of heat today.
01:20:08.000 Ah, is he?
01:20:09.000 He probably is.
01:20:09.000 I don't know.
01:20:10.000 Not in Florida.
01:20:11.000 I bet they're like, fuck yeah!
01:20:13.000 God bless Florida!
01:20:14.000 You want me to give this in a little brother?
01:20:15.000 Yeah.
01:20:16.000 Thank you, sir.
01:20:17.000 It's a year ago, I guess.
01:20:19.000 Oh, is it?
01:20:19.000 This is the same one.
01:20:20.000 Yeah, that's the guy.
01:20:21.000 He says.
01:20:21.000 Yeah.
01:20:22.000 Saves taxpayers money if you shoot home invaders.
01:20:24.000 It's probably right here.
01:20:26.000 Unoccupied dwelling, felony third.
01:20:28.000 Seven charges total.
01:20:30.000 His bond's $157,500.
01:20:33.000 And I want to say, as to the person, we don't know what homeowner, which homeowner shot at him.
01:20:39.000 I guess they think that they did something wrong, which they did not.
01:20:43.000 If somebody's breaking in your house, you're more than welcome to shoot them in Santa Rosa County.
01:20:46.000 We prefer that you do, actually.
01:20:49.000 So, whoever that was, you're not in trouble.
01:20:51.000 Come see us.
01:20:53.000 We have a gun safety class we put on every other Saturday, and if you take that, you'll shoot a lot better, and hopefully you'll save taxpayers money.
01:21:01.000 Hilarious.
01:21:02.000 That's Florida.
01:21:04.000 And then DeSantis just came out because all these houses are getting, people are squatting, taking over people's houses in New York.
01:21:13.000 I'm sure you've seen that.
01:21:14.000 Lady got arrested because she changed the locks on her own house.
01:21:17.000 Someone's squatting in her house.
01:21:18.000 She got into the house, kicked them out, changed the locks.
01:21:20.000 They called the cops.
01:21:21.000 They said they're tenants.
01:21:22.000 They arrest her.
01:21:23.000 Took her away in handcuffs because squatters were in her own house.
01:21:27.000 And then there's this guy on TikTok that started making videos explaining to people what the laws are and how you can get into people's houses and how you can squat.
01:21:36.000 And so it's a genuine problem because in Georgia, there's a thousand houses right now that people are squatting in.
01:21:44.000 That's a giant number of houses that squatters have just taken over these people's houses.
01:21:51.000 Are the people out of town?
01:21:52.000 Out of town or it's real estate holding, you know, maybe trying to sell it.
01:21:55.000 Maybe it's your vacation house.
01:21:58.000 Who knows?
01:21:59.000 Maybe you're fixing it up.
01:22:00.000 Who knows?
01:22:00.000 But no one's living in it.
01:22:02.000 They move in.
01:22:02.000 They take over.
01:22:03.000 They have it now.
01:22:04.000 Is that everywhere now?
01:22:06.000 It's a lot of states, but it's not Florida.
01:22:08.000 In Florida, they're like, fuck you.
01:22:10.000 Like, DeSantis just had a little press conference yesterday about it.
01:22:14.000 He's like, in Florida, that does not fly.
01:22:16.000 You know, there's no way anyone's going to squat in your house in Florida.
01:22:21.000 Which is what people want to hear.
01:22:23.000 You know, nobody wants their fucking...
01:22:25.000 Look, if you work really hard, you get a house, and you have a second house, you can use it as a rental property or whatever, you're trying to make some money, and then someone takes over that, and the system works for them and not for you, there's a big difference between tenants and squatters.
01:22:40.000 And if you can't make that differentiation, we got a real problem.
01:22:44.000 We got a big problem.
01:22:45.000 Yeah.
01:22:46.000 That's a big problem.
01:22:47.000 Somebody's gonna get shot.
01:22:49.000 That's it.
01:22:49.000 That's how this changes.
01:22:51.000 This is how this always changes.
01:22:53.000 Some guy comes home.
01:22:54.000 What the fuck are you eight people doing here?
01:22:56.000 You're not supposed to be.
01:22:57.000 He don't know nothing.
01:22:57.000 He's from Russia.
01:22:58.000 He don't know nothing.
01:22:59.000 He's an old fucking guy from Iran or something.
01:23:03.000 He don't know nothing.
01:23:04.000 You're in my house.
01:23:05.000 And they'll put him in jail.
01:23:06.000 And they'll put him in jail, but he'll shoot those eight motherfuckers.
01:23:09.000 Something bad will happen, but that's how it changes, Joe.
01:23:11.000 The thing is, once people start going to jail for defending their own property, You've made a mess.
01:23:16.000 You've made a mess.
01:23:17.000 You've made a giant mess.
01:23:18.000 And then the criminals are going to be aware of this and they already are.
01:23:21.000 They already are.
01:23:22.000 They're two steps ahead of you.
01:23:23.000 Yeah, they're two steps ahead.
01:23:24.000 They know what the rules are and they're going to get attorneys that are going to work with them and they're going to steal your house.
01:23:31.000 So let me ask you this.
01:23:32.000 You go on vacation with your wife.
01:23:33.000 I move into your living room.
01:23:35.000 You come back.
01:23:36.000 You're just going to greet me with nice eyes and say...
01:23:38.000 I don't know how that works.
01:23:39.000 You're going to call 911. There's a squatter here.
01:23:42.000 You got to get him out.
01:23:43.000 He's going to come.
01:23:44.000 Go, no.
01:23:45.000 How long have you been here?
01:23:46.000 I don't know.
01:23:46.000 We were in Europe.
01:23:48.000 You know, whatever.
01:23:48.000 Is that what you're fucking telling me?
01:23:50.000 Well, I think some people can't physically do anything, right?
01:23:53.000 Because they get in the house and there's men in there.
01:23:56.000 Did you see about that lady in New York City?
01:23:57.000 She went to clean out her mom's place and there were squatters in there and they killed her.
01:24:03.000 Yeah, they just caught these guys, young guys.
01:24:05.000 They just, same thing.
01:24:06.000 They figured out there was no one in there, broke in, changed the locks, whatever, fixed it, stayed there.
01:24:13.000 You know how this changes, brother.
01:24:15.000 Yeah.
01:24:16.000 It's always one guy that makes an example, makes a big, deep example, and then people go, well, I won't think twice about doing that.
01:24:22.000 It seems like the only way to really change is the law.
01:24:26.000 It's just I don't understand why there's so many laws that have been around for so long that when you see common sense solutions like Ron DeSantis saying, no, you can't do that.
01:24:35.000 Stop.
01:24:36.000 That's not going to happen in Florida.
01:24:37.000 That should be every state.
01:24:39.000 They should say, no, you can't steal people's houses.
01:24:41.000 That should be simple.
01:24:42.000 That has nothing to do with being...
01:24:44.000 Democrat or Republican.
01:24:46.000 It's like stealing property.
01:24:47.000 Just like no one should be able to steal your car.
01:24:49.000 No one should be able to steal your clothes.
01:24:51.000 They shouldn't be able to steal your house.
01:24:53.000 It seems that's logical.
01:24:54.000 It has nothing to do with racism or xenophobia or white privilege or any of these dumb things they try to attach to this.
01:25:02.000 It's just law and order.
01:25:04.000 We have to have a set of laws that we all abide by if we're going to have a peaceful society where you don't create victims and you don't empower criminals.
01:25:14.000 And the fact that that is complicated in 2024 is so strange to me.
01:25:20.000 I just don't understand.
01:25:21.000 Almost like it's on purpose, like it's meant to keep things chaotic, keep us, you know, on our heels, keep us at each other's throats, keep us just trying to figure out what's the next problem they have to deal with.
01:25:36.000 And all the while, There's all this shit going on in Ukraine.
01:25:40.000 There's all this shit going on with green energy.
01:25:43.000 And Bill Gates is buying farmlands.
01:25:45.000 Like, God!
01:25:47.000 Can I have a fucking moment where I can just relax?
01:25:50.000 Well, even the squatters thing.
01:25:51.000 When did this start?
01:25:53.000 This started coming up about three or four years ago, during COVID, didn't it?
01:25:56.000 Or was it around before?
01:25:57.000 It was definitely around before, but I think it has ramped up considerably as things got more woke.
01:26:03.000 Because I think as things get more woke, you start looking towards the rights of...
01:26:08.000 Well, they're squatters.
01:26:09.000 They don't have nowhere to go.
01:26:10.000 Well, listen, no one is in that home.
01:26:12.000 And no one should have a home that is unoccupied where people are homeless.
01:26:17.000 Like, okay.
01:26:19.000 I'm gonna take a piss.
01:26:20.000 Go ahead.
01:26:21.000 I'll wait till Law& Order puts out an episode on squatters and I'll learn more about it and I'll come back and fucking drop it.
01:26:26.000 Alright, we'll be right back.
01:26:27.000 What did you bet?
01:26:28.000 Dustin.
01:26:29.000 You bet Dustin over Benoit Saint Denis?
01:26:32.000 I just looked at the card and I'm like, you know, It's a good bet.
01:26:35.000 It was a good bet anyway.
01:26:36.000 I like Cheeto and I like Sugar.
01:26:38.000 So I couldn't pick one there.
01:26:40.000 And then all the hype around the guy and Dustin, I go, everybody's betting this fucking soldier.
01:26:46.000 So I just took a chance to watch the fights.
01:26:48.000 It's not like I bet all the fights, I just bet.
01:26:50.000 I would have liked to see that fight with him not having staff.
01:26:53.000 He was going to have a hard time with Dustin's stand-up anyway.
01:26:57.000 Dustin's stand-up is just sharper, more battle-tested.
01:27:01.000 Benoit Saint-Denis started off as a judo guy.
01:27:04.000 And he has very good stand-up.
01:27:06.000 But there's levels.
01:27:07.000 And I think Dustin's level is extremely high.
01:27:10.000 His level stand-up is extremely high.
01:27:12.000 You see that when he fought Max Holloway.
01:27:15.000 He outboxed Max Holloway in that fight.
01:27:17.000 That was a big one.
01:27:19.000 And Max can box.
01:27:20.000 Max can box.
01:27:21.000 Max can box.
01:27:22.000 A lot of people are counting him out in his Justin Gaethje fight.
01:27:26.000 You know?
01:27:27.000 But he's got a lot of time to prepare for this.
01:27:29.000 The first fight when he fought 55, when he fought Dustin, that was a short notice fight.
01:27:34.000 He didn't have time to like really bulk up.
01:27:37.000 Like, well, I don't know how short notice it was, but I know he didn't bulk up.
01:27:40.000 I think he just tried to fight, you know, just be 145 but not cut weight, you know, which is his natural weight class.
01:27:47.000 Who's in Newark?
01:27:48.000 You're doing that card then?
01:27:50.000 Let's pull it up.
01:27:51.000 What's the Newark card?
01:27:52.000 Have they announced that?
01:27:55.000 I'll tell you when that is.
01:27:56.000 I know they have an Atlantic City card this month.
01:27:58.000 I saw the ad.
01:27:59.000 Yeah, that's this weekend.
01:28:00.000 Chris Weidman's fighting.
01:28:02.000 Yeah.
01:28:04.000 I think it's the first week in June?
01:28:10.000 Yes.
01:28:11.000 It's June 1st.
01:28:14.000 UFC Newark.
01:28:15.000 Who?
01:28:16.000 Who's that?
01:28:16.000 I don't know.
01:28:17.000 That's not on the It's not on the list?
01:28:18.000 It's on the schedule.
01:28:19.000 Yeah, that's far ahead.
01:28:20.000 So here we are in March, April, May, June.
01:28:22.000 It's probably not scheduled yet.
01:28:24.000 They probably have a tentative fight set.
01:28:27.000 And it probably is dependent upon who wins what and who's healthy when.
01:28:32.000 Bro, this one.
01:28:34.000 Whitaker versus Hamzat Shemaev in Saudi Arabia.
01:28:37.000 That one is gonna be fucking wild.
01:28:40.000 That's a wild one.
01:28:42.000 That is a wild fight.
01:28:44.000 Calvin Gastelum vs.
01:28:45.000 D-Rod, that's a great fight too.
01:28:47.000 Is that the only two fights that have been announced so far?
01:28:50.000 Bro, Whitaker vs.
01:28:53.000 Hamzat is legit.
01:28:55.000 That's a real fight.
01:28:57.000 That's a real fight for Hamzat.
01:28:59.000 Because Whitaker's a big dude.
01:29:01.000 He's a big, I mean, solid, beefy 185, former champion.
01:29:09.000 Both guys started at 170, but it was too hard to make the 170. That's a real 185-er, as opposed to like, you know, they gave him Kamaru Usman, and Kamaru didn't have a chance to prepare for that.
01:29:21.000 He had 10 days.
01:29:22.000 You know, that's not enough time.
01:29:24.000 I mean, I don't know what kind of shape he was in.
01:29:26.000 Couldn't really test his game.
01:29:27.000 He's always in shape.
01:29:28.000 He's always in shape.
01:29:29.000 He's always in shape.
01:29:31.000 Famously, Kamaru has bad knees, like real bad knees.
01:29:34.000 So I don't know how hard he was training and whether or not he prepares the way, like maybe he only like sacrifices his knees during training and then when he's not training for a fight, he takes it easy so he doesn't stay in the same kind of shape.
01:29:47.000 I don't know.
01:29:48.000 But I know he was winning in the third round.
01:29:50.000 I mean, Kamaru, if that was a five-round fight, who knows how the fuck that fight would have went.
01:29:53.000 And, you know, obviously Kamaru's world championship caliber, the best welterweight of all time by most people's accounts.
01:30:00.000 And, you know, it's not enough time.
01:30:03.000 Not enough time to get a guy like that to prepare for Kamaru, to prepare for Hamzat.
01:30:08.000 But at least we got a chance to see what Hamzat looks like against a world-class, world championship caliber fighter.
01:30:15.000 So this was a big one.
01:30:16.000 This is Robert Whitaker with plenty of time to prepare.
01:30:19.000 A guy who is just as legit as they get.
01:30:22.000 Just beat Paul Costa.
01:30:24.000 You know?
01:30:25.000 That's a good fight.
01:30:26.000 I like that.
01:30:28.000 How about my boy Demetrius last weekend?
01:30:30.000 How crazy is that?
01:30:31.000 How crazy is that?
01:30:32.000 He's so great.
01:30:33.000 Mighty Mouse took on a guy who's 250 pounds in a jiu-jitsu tournament.
01:30:38.000 I told you I'm scared of Mighty Mouse.
01:30:40.000 Fucking 250. And he tapped him.
01:30:45.000 The dude was heavier than him by a hundred pounds.
01:30:49.000 The guy was enormous.
01:30:50.000 The guy was so much bigger than him.
01:30:51.000 That's great.
01:30:52.000 When I saw that, I'm like, God damn, he's great.
01:30:55.000 He is great.
01:30:56.000 And a brown belt.
01:30:56.000 Yep.
01:30:57.000 A fucking brown belt.
01:30:58.000 He's great at everything, too.
01:31:02.000 So this is him going through the tournament?
01:31:03.000 Is that what this is?
01:31:04.000 Yeah.
01:31:06.000 So this is him and the giant dude.
01:31:07.000 Look at the size difference.
01:31:09.000 I thought it was Kurt Metzger.
01:31:10.000 Look how big that dude is.
01:31:12.000 This is big.
01:31:13.000 Yeah.
01:31:15.000 But Mighty Mouse is so slick.
01:31:16.000 Got him on like a trip.
01:31:18.000 Mm-hmm.
01:31:21.000 There it is.
01:31:22.000 And then managed to stay on top, which is really crazy.
01:31:27.000 That's just crazy that you couldn't get him off him.
01:31:30.000 That's technique.
01:31:36.000 Pretty wild that he's even willing to do this while he's competing.
01:31:40.000 I mean, I think he's the champion over at 1FC still.
01:31:45.000 So he's still doing MMA, still doing, like, high-level championship fights, and he's fighting in the Gi, in the Gi tournament, which is just nuts.
01:31:53.000 Gotta love him, man.
01:31:54.000 Yeah, it's just crazy that he stayed on top of this guy, then he got his back.
01:32:03.000 Went to time, didn't it?
01:32:04.000 No, I think he tapped the guy.
01:32:07.000 Didn't he?
01:32:09.000 I feel like he tapped him.
01:32:12.000 Oh, maybe he did.
01:32:13.000 Yeah, here it is.
01:32:14.000 He got him with some kind of a choke.
01:32:15.000 See, he's got his collar.
01:32:17.000 He tapped him.
01:32:18.000 Look at that.
01:32:20.000 That's crazy.
01:32:21.000 No audience.
01:32:21.000 Look at that.
01:32:22.000 That's the thing about jiu-jitsu tournaments.
01:32:24.000 No one's there.
01:32:25.000 I mean, some of the best...
01:32:27.000 Look at how he rolled him, too.
01:32:29.000 Holy shit.
01:32:30.000 Pretty wild.
01:32:32.000 Rolled him, and it looks like he's holding on to the collar and tapping him with his collar.
01:32:38.000 Like a bow and arrow?
01:32:39.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:32:41.000 Amazing.
01:32:43.000 He's probably the best ever.
01:32:45.000 My palms get sweaty, though.
01:32:46.000 I know.
01:32:47.000 I love watching that shit.
01:32:48.000 In terms of just pure martial arts technique, I think the best expression of martial arts I've ever seen is Mighty Mouse.
01:32:54.000 Did you have Hodge on yet?
01:32:56.000 Hodge Gracie?
01:32:57.000 Yeah.
01:32:57.000 No.
01:32:58.000 He was looking to get on.
01:32:59.000 Okay.
01:32:59.000 I'll get ahold of him.
01:33:00.000 Because he was down here.
01:33:02.000 Three months ago, he was down there.
01:33:04.000 Somewhere, and one of my friends called me.
01:33:07.000 He goes, can you get him out?
01:33:08.000 I go, I'll get short notice.
01:33:10.000 Rogan's booked a year in advance.
01:33:14.000 Yeah, we're booked out pretty far.
01:33:16.000 I get these text messages.
01:33:18.000 I love watching.
01:33:18.000 Jiu-Jitsu is so much like comedy.
01:33:22.000 How so?
01:33:22.000 It's so much, man.
01:33:23.000 In what way?
01:33:25.000 The longer you're in it, the prettier it gets.
01:33:28.000 And, you know, I'm watching Tom, I'm watching you here at night.
01:33:33.000 We're at a point where it's effortless.
01:33:35.000 It's second nature.
01:33:37.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:33:38.000 Like, it's just beautiful to see.
01:33:40.000 You know, comedy is great.
01:33:42.000 The 10-year mark is great.
01:33:44.000 The 20-year mark, something happens to you.
01:33:47.000 It really does.
01:33:48.000 Everything clicks.
01:33:50.000 And it's like with this art, jujitsu, you get in there, you get beat up for a year.
01:33:54.000 And then one day you start doing little things and you're like, oh shit, this ain't that bad, you know?
01:34:00.000 And it's the same thing, but once you put it all together, like when we were talking about Dave Battelle's special, it's a thing of beauty, man.
01:34:07.000 It's a thing of fucking beauty.
01:34:09.000 That's a thing of beauty.
01:34:10.000 When my hands get sweaty like that, I know that that's fucking beautiful.
01:34:15.000 Yeah, it's years and years and years of working.
01:34:17.000 I've always loved, like, you went to see the Black Keys last week.
01:34:21.000 I love this.
01:34:22.000 I love that you're going out and catching live music.
01:34:25.000 It makes my dick hard.
01:34:26.000 I wish I went to as much live music as you, but Jersey's a fucking nightmare.
01:34:31.000 You know, you have the Starland Ballroom and shit and all.
01:34:34.000 I just can't.
01:34:35.000 You know, the heavy metal shit.
01:34:38.000 I can't, but I wish, because that's how you get better at all this shit, is by getting entertained.
01:34:44.000 That's how you...
01:34:45.000 That's what Mooney always used to say.
01:34:46.000 That's getting creative.
01:34:47.000 When I went to a UFC fight and saw, on a hit of acid, and saw Anderson kick that dude in the face, I went right up to my room and wrote a joke.
01:34:55.000 I'm like, this is...
01:34:56.000 You know, it just inspires you that they're that good.
01:34:59.000 We used to always talk about Anderson, how he could look at you and pinpoint the shot, and he was accurate.
01:35:04.000 That's a thing of art, man.
01:35:06.000 It is an art.
01:35:07.000 What am I talking about?
01:35:08.000 Yeah, it is an art.
01:35:10.000 Dog, I've swallowed like two of these zins.
01:35:12.000 What's gonna happen?
01:35:15.000 I'm gonna blow a zin fart tonight in that fucking green room.
01:35:18.000 Yeah, you're gonna shit out those little tabs.
01:35:20.000 Oh, Jesus, I keep swallowing them.
01:35:22.000 Yeah, don't swallow those little bags.
01:35:24.000 You don't want to swallow those.
01:35:25.000 What are you going to do?
01:35:25.000 I don't think it's going to hurt you.
01:35:27.000 At this point, I used to swallow gum until I was 30. Shit.
01:35:31.000 They used to say that gum gets stuck inside your body.
01:35:34.000 Yeah, I swallowed gum for fucking years.
01:35:35.000 I think that's a total myth.
01:35:37.000 And once you're so deep in it, you're like, I'm not going to stop now.
01:35:40.000 Now I spit it out.
01:35:41.000 But before, I would always fucking swallow it.
01:35:43.000 Well, have you seen that thing that people are doing now where they make them swallow a balloon?
01:35:47.000 They swallow a balloon to deal with their weight loss.
01:35:51.000 Have you seen that?
01:35:52.000 No.
01:35:52.000 Yeah.
01:35:52.000 So they swallow this bag.
01:35:55.000 It's like this little tiny thing.
01:35:56.000 It's about that big and it's attached to a tube.
01:35:58.000 And they swallow the whole thing.
01:36:00.000 And the tube's coming out of their mouth as they're swallowing it.
01:36:02.000 So they have a glass of water.
01:36:03.000 They swallow it.
01:36:03.000 It gets down in there.
01:36:04.000 And then once it's in their stomach, they pump it up.
01:36:07.000 And they fill this bag.
01:36:08.000 And this bag takes up a lot of room in your stomach.
01:36:11.000 So you get full much quicker.
01:36:14.000 And so that's the thing that keeps people from, you know...
01:36:18.000 Overeating.
01:36:19.000 They overeat.
01:36:20.000 They can't stop themselves.
01:36:21.000 They don't feel full.
01:36:23.000 People want to feel full.
01:36:24.000 And so this bag, you swallow this thing.
01:36:27.000 It's called a gastric balloon.
01:36:29.000 Yeah.
01:36:29.000 What do they inflate it with?
01:36:32.000 Is it water?
01:36:34.000 I don't know.
01:36:37.000 So they go in, swallow it, take this tube.
01:36:40.000 I thought they were showing it for a second.
01:36:42.000 They were showing it.
01:36:42.000 And I think when you've lost the weight that you want to lose, they can deflate it.
01:36:47.000 But then my worry would be that then you have this stretched out stomach that needs to get full again.
01:36:54.000 Doug, after I asked your advice on the gastric thing, you said you look into it.
01:36:59.000 I really thought about it.
01:37:01.000 Not the gastric thing.
01:37:02.000 Just all these get-health-quick things.
01:37:06.000 It's like Ozempic now.
01:37:07.000 Did you hear what I was talking about last night on stage?
01:37:09.000 Because I wrote that out the other day.
01:37:11.000 It was a stupid joke, but I think that people are going to go on Ozempic now.
01:37:16.000 A lot of people.
01:37:18.000 And the fat man is going to come back stronger.
01:37:21.000 What's the name of that show?
01:37:22.000 The 600-pound fat dude?
01:37:23.000 Yeah, My 600-pound Life.
01:37:25.000 All this shit's going to come back bigger and stronger, fat dudes.
01:37:30.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:37:33.000 You're just doing all this shit.
01:37:34.000 If you just lift weights and walk a little bit and watch yourself just a little tiny bit.
01:37:41.000 All these get-rich schemes.
01:37:44.000 If I go down to 265, I'll do all those MPs.
01:37:49.000 Because then I get stuck at 265. Do you?
01:37:52.000 Yeah.
01:37:53.000 I get stuck at 271, 270. But when you did Weight Watchers, you got down low.
01:37:58.000 How low were you when you were Weight Watchers?
01:37:59.000 What I am now.
01:38:00.000 That's the lowest you've ever been?
01:38:01.000 Yeah, 277, 274. 274 was my lowest weight.
01:38:07.000 But I wasn't lifting weights.
01:38:09.000 I thought you were lighter than that.
01:38:10.000 No, I wasn't doing shit.
01:38:11.000 I was walking and kickboxing.
01:38:13.000 No weights.
01:38:14.000 And now you're doing weights.
01:38:15.000 No, you gotta do the weights at this age.
01:38:17.000 I think so.
01:38:18.000 Very important.
01:38:19.000 I think it's important for bone density.
01:38:21.000 Dog, that sarcopenia, you lose it quick.
01:38:24.000 Yeah.
01:38:25.000 That's quick.
01:38:26.000 Yeah.
01:38:26.000 And they're not asking you to fucking be an Olympic lifter.
01:38:29.000 They're not asking you.
01:38:30.000 Look at all the things.
01:38:32.000 They're not asking you.
01:38:33.000 They're not just asking you for 30 minutes a day.
01:38:39.000 Just a little bit of something to keep the muscles going.
01:38:42.000 The thing about Ozempic is some people have pretty bad side effects.
01:38:50.000 Essentially what it's doing is limiting your appetite.
01:38:53.000 Essentially it's doing something very similar to what this balloon thing does.
01:38:57.000 And I think you can get that done with a high protein diet.
01:39:00.000 You can limit your appetite by just going on a carnivore diet.
01:39:03.000 I know a lot of people that have done that and lost a lot of weight.
01:39:05.000 Just carnivore?
01:39:06.000 Yeah.
01:39:06.000 You get satisfied way easier.
01:39:08.000 Two eggs, six eggs for breakfast and a steak?
01:39:11.000 Just eggs and meat and your body just adjusts.
01:39:14.000 Your body turns the protein into glucose, and it turns the fats into ketones.
01:39:21.000 For me, it just seems to work better.
01:39:23.000 And I know a lot of people that have had a problem with carbohydrates, they start to...
01:39:26.000 Look, I had those guys do it for World Carnivore Month, the comics that I've got working out at the gym.
01:39:31.000 I'm like, who wants to commit to this?
01:39:32.000 The entire month of January, nothing but meat.
01:39:34.000 And they did it and they're like, dude, I feel so much more energetic.
01:39:39.000 I'm not tired in the middle of the day.
01:39:40.000 I'm like, yeah, that's like a carb crash.
01:39:43.000 You're getting like an insulin crash in the middle of your day because you're eating carbs and sweets and sugar and bread and pasta and rice and all this stuff.
01:39:50.000 If you eliminate that stuff from your diet, it takes a while for your body to adjust.
01:39:54.000 It took me like a couple of weeks when I first did it.
01:39:56.000 But then once your body adjusts, you just feel like you have an extra gear.
01:39:59.000 You have more energy.
01:40:01.000 You feel clearer headed.
01:40:02.000 You feel better.
01:40:03.000 Just all that meat, Joe, scares the shit out of me, man.
01:40:06.000 Yeah?
01:40:07.000 In what way?
01:40:08.000 I don't know.
01:40:09.000 I get a little iffy with a lot of meat.
01:40:11.000 You get iffy?
01:40:12.000 Late at night, I could probably blast fucking three eggs in a...
01:40:16.000 Yeah, then have eggs.
01:40:17.000 Scrambled eggs and a steak.
01:40:19.000 Eggs are easy.
01:40:19.000 Eggs are easy.
01:40:20.000 They're easy to digest.
01:40:22.000 They're super nutritious.
01:40:24.000 They're so good for you.
01:40:25.000 You could live off nothing but eggs.
01:40:27.000 Eggs are great.
01:40:28.000 Seven grams of protein.
01:40:29.000 Yeah.
01:40:30.000 Eggs are fantastic.
01:40:31.000 Three eggs is 21 fucking grams, man.
01:40:33.000 You know?
01:40:34.000 Not bad.
01:40:35.000 Yeah, it's fucking good for you.
01:40:37.000 And all the stuff that says it's not good for you is nonsense.
01:40:39.000 It's just good for you.
01:40:40.000 Eggs are good.
01:40:41.000 They're healthy.
01:40:42.000 Does our girl like the carnivore diet?
01:40:44.000 Who?
01:40:44.000 Rhonda?
01:40:45.000 Yeah.
01:40:45.000 Yeah, she likes it.
01:40:46.000 But I think she thinks that you should have vegetables too.
01:40:49.000 And some people do think that.
01:40:51.000 She's got me eating blueberries like a motherfucker.
01:40:53.000 Blueberries are great.
01:40:54.000 She said it makes you smarter.
01:40:55.000 Really?
01:40:56.000 I'm eating blueberries.
01:40:56.000 Yes.
01:40:57.000 Watch one of the things.
01:40:59.000 Interesting.
01:40:59.000 Blueberries actually make you smarter.
01:41:01.000 Interesting.
01:41:02.000 How does it make you smarter?
01:41:03.000 I have no idea.
01:41:03.000 I didn't listen to it after that.
01:41:04.000 My attention span.
01:41:06.000 You need more blueberries.
01:41:08.000 I love her though.
01:41:09.000 I do everything she says.
01:41:12.000 Today she put a video of her fucking working out.
01:41:14.000 I wonder how they would figure out whether or not blueberries make you smarter.
01:41:17.000 Do they give you blueberries and then make you take a test?
01:41:20.000 She did a survey.
01:41:21.000 You know her, bro.
01:41:22.000 A group of six people got together in Norway and fucking blueberries for a month.
01:41:27.000 The thing about that though is you have to look at healthy subject bias or healthy statistics bias because the people that are in that group that are eating blueberries in the beginning or to begin with are probably healthier people.
01:41:42.000 Healthier people might be a little smarter.
01:41:45.000 You know, like, more aware of what, like, the effects of eating good food does to your body.
01:41:52.000 So healthy user bias is real.
01:41:54.000 I don't know, though.
01:41:55.000 I don't know how they did the study.
01:41:57.000 But a lot of those studies are, they're weird.
01:42:00.000 It's just, you get a sense of what's true and what's not, but also people manipulate those studies, and they make studies designed to get the result that they're trying to achieve because they're trying to sell you something.
01:42:11.000 Hmm.
01:42:13.000 I get very nervous when all these people are on the sozampic stuff.
01:42:16.000 I just get very nervous because Brian Simpson had a horrible side effect.
01:42:19.000 He was fucked.
01:42:21.000 He was wrecked.
01:42:21.000 He stayed at home for days.
01:42:23.000 Listen, from all the experience we have of everything that's come out the last couple fucking days, the last couple years...
01:42:32.000 Here it says, Dr. Rhonda Patrick, blueberry concentrate increased brain blood flow, brain activation, and working memory in adults compared to placebo.
01:42:41.000 Mmm.
01:42:43.000 Concentrated blueberry juice.
01:42:45.000 Interesting.
01:42:46.000 So it improves brain function in older people.
01:42:49.000 Let's go.
01:42:51.000 Let's get a blueberry smoothie.
01:42:52.000 Get the party rolling.
01:42:54.000 I do them all the time.
01:42:55.000 Pop in the water, blueberries, a little protein powder.
01:42:58.000 Nice.
01:42:58.000 Nice.
01:42:58.000 Bango!
01:43:00.000 They're good for you.
01:43:02.000 What stops that crash in the afternoon?
01:43:04.000 I've been getting it since I turned 58. Never slept before in the daytime.
01:43:10.000 Now you're taking naps?
01:43:12.000 4 o'clock.
01:43:13.000 I mean, my world ends.
01:43:16.000 It's the saddest thing.
01:43:17.000 Not even reefer, edibles, nothing.
01:43:20.000 Once she gets home from school, I talk to her.
01:43:22.000 We look at the homework.
01:43:24.000 She goes to her room.
01:43:25.000 I go downstairs.
01:43:26.000 My wife gets home.
01:43:28.000 And at about 4.15, I can't even hear you.
01:43:31.000 It's not about, I just got to get up and walk to bed.
01:43:34.000 She knows already.
01:43:36.000 And I crash for an hour and four minutes, an hour and six.
01:43:40.000 I get up for like 15 minutes.
01:43:41.000 I feel like shit.
01:43:42.000 Then I'm ready to attack 20 fucking people.
01:43:45.000 The first 15 minutes, I always feel shitty.
01:43:47.000 Like, man, I shouldn't have slept in the afternoon.
01:43:50.000 But some days I have it, some days I don't.
01:43:53.000 How much carbs have you eaten?
01:43:55.000 I eat that wheat bread in the morning.
01:43:58.000 And I really wanted to try intermittent fasting.
01:44:04.000 I get dizzy, like I get what Duncan gets.
01:44:07.000 Like, if you don't eat and drive, like if I don't eat and drive a long distance, I'm done.
01:44:12.000 I get dizzy and shit.
01:44:14.000 I tell you what happened to my friend Tommy?
01:44:16.000 No.
01:44:16.000 Tommy Jr.?
01:44:17.000 He was shoveling snow, cleaning his driveway out.
01:44:23.000 He got called into work on a Sunday.
01:44:25.000 Something happened.
01:44:25.000 And so he's shoveling his snow and, you know, he's not in the best of shape.
01:44:30.000 Shovel snow, heavy snow, it's all the whole driveway.
01:44:33.000 Gets done, drives in his car, falls asleep at the wheel and slams into a wall.
01:44:38.000 And he got pretty fucked up.
01:44:39.000 Bunch of broken bones.
01:44:42.000 Yeah, he's still not better.
01:44:44.000 This was months ago.
01:44:45.000 So what was the result of the nap?
01:44:47.000 From the shoveling?
01:44:49.000 Yeah, he just blacked out behind the wheel.
01:44:53.000 Yeah, just exhaustion, you know, not in the best of shit.
01:44:56.000 Like, lifting snow is not good.
01:45:00.000 It's a motherfucker, dude.
01:45:01.000 It's a real workout.
01:45:02.000 If you get wet snow and you got a whole driveway full of that shit, and, you know, you're digging in and lifting it up and digging in and lifting it up, your legs, your back, your arms.
01:45:11.000 But is there a reason?
01:45:12.000 Isn't the weather...
01:45:14.000 Contribute to that?
01:45:15.000 To what?
01:45:16.000 To that cold when you come out.
01:45:17.000 Like, I have a friend that I went to school with, and I came back, and how's your dad?
01:45:20.000 He died shoveling snow.
01:45:22.000 Well, it's a heart attack thing.
01:45:24.000 It's exertion, all right?
01:45:26.000 If you're not in shape, shoveling snow is equivalent to doing, like, a hard CrossFit class.
01:45:33.000 If you're not in shape, shoveling wet snow...
01:45:35.000 No shit.
01:45:36.000 Remember, we lived in Colorado.
01:45:37.000 Yeah.
01:45:38.000 And the snow was light.
01:45:40.000 When it snowed in Jersey last time, I shoveled, and that's wet.
01:45:44.000 Yeah.
01:45:45.000 The only thing that saved me, it's low amounts.
01:45:47.000 Mm-hmm.
01:45:48.000 Three inches, four inches, and I go out there early and get it.
01:45:50.000 You get an 18-incher?
01:45:52.000 Oh, then I can't do that.
01:45:54.000 And then it gets a little warmer, and then it starts to melt, and then you basically got every shovel full is 45 pounds.
01:46:01.000 MKBHD posted this when you shovel in snow this winter.
01:46:03.000 Yeah.
01:46:03.000 Look, his heart rate's 118. 1200 calories in 90 minutes.
01:46:07.000 Yeah, 1,200 calories in 90 minutes of shoveling snow.
01:46:11.000 So look at that.
01:46:13.000 Every single smartwatch on Earth should have snow shoveling as a workout type.
01:46:17.000 I don't know a soul in the Northeast that would disagree.
01:46:19.000 It's fucking hard.
01:46:21.000 So if you're out of shape and you burn off 1,000 calories like my boy Tommy, and then you get behind the wheel, you fucking black out, you know?
01:46:29.000 Let's see if Whoop's got a snow shovel.
01:46:31.000 Probably didn't drink enough water.
01:46:33.000 I don't think Whoop has a snow shoveling.
01:46:36.000 I think you just have to put it in as a regular workout.
01:46:40.000 But 90 minutes of work.
01:46:42.000 So say if you have to leave your house at 6.30, you've got to be out there minimum 5 p.m.
01:46:49.000 shoveling.
01:46:50.000 You've got to go, I've got to leave an hour and a half.
01:46:52.000 Here we go.
01:46:53.000 So basically you have to have very little clothes on because you're going to sweat your dick off and you're going to be out there.
01:46:59.000 Every fucking shovel full is probably 35, 45 pounds.
01:47:10.000 And then you look.
01:47:11.000 You've cleared four feet.
01:47:13.000 Not even.
01:47:14.000 And then you've got to get in there and get it off the concrete and really scrape it down.
01:47:18.000 Otherwise, it's going to melt and then freeze again.
01:47:20.000 And then your whole garage all the way down your driveway is going to be ice.
01:47:25.000 So you've got to really scrape it.
01:47:26.000 The ice is snubble show for a living.
01:47:29.000 Fifteen bucks an hour in 1983. I would sit out there, shovel snow, and case the apartments.
01:47:36.000 The whole Snowmass Village.
01:47:37.000 Every time people go skiing, I know when they were leaving, I knew the whole thing.
01:47:41.000 Yeah, we did that in Newton.
01:47:42.000 I shoveled snow for a living, man.
01:47:44.000 It was eight hours a day.
01:47:45.000 No, it was a full-time job in Snowmass Village.
01:47:48.000 You just applied for it, 15 bucks an hour, insurance.
01:47:51.000 After 90 days, it was a ski pass.
01:47:54.000 It was a job.
01:47:56.000 It was a fucking job.
01:47:57.000 That was your job.
01:47:58.000 Have you been to Aspen lately?
01:48:00.000 No.
01:48:01.000 It's crazy.
01:48:02.000 I'm going this summer.
01:48:03.000 I could just imagine.
01:48:04.000 Beverly Hills and the mountains.
01:48:06.000 Yeah, I could just imagine.
01:48:06.000 It's all these rich people, and it's really weird.
01:48:10.000 It's not what it used to be.
01:48:12.000 No.
01:48:12.000 I know I'm going to be in Africa.
01:48:12.000 You go watch those old documentaries when Hunter S. Thompson was there.
01:48:16.000 Was he there when you were there?
01:48:18.000 Did you ever see him?
01:48:19.000 Yeah?
01:48:21.000 At Woody Creek?
01:48:22.000 Did you go to the Woody Creek Tavern?
01:48:24.000 I used to go to get weed and the nachos were fucking delicious there.
01:48:28.000 Yeah, food's still great there.
01:48:30.000 Did you go?
01:48:30.000 Yeah.
01:48:31.000 Is it still open?
01:48:32.000 Yeah, it's still open.
01:48:34.000 I ate there a couple years ago.
01:48:36.000 No shit!
01:48:37.000 Yeah, we went to Aspen for a ski trip, and I said, we gotta go to Woody Creek Tavern.
01:48:42.000 Gotta go pay respects.
01:48:43.000 Doug, that was a place...
01:48:45.000 Think about an 18-year-old kid.
01:48:47.000 Just close your eyes for a minute.
01:48:49.000 There it is.
01:48:50.000 And I'm talking about...
01:48:51.000 No!
01:48:53.000 Yep.
01:48:54.000 Still open.
01:48:54.000 Oh, that changed a lot, Doug.
01:48:56.000 Did it?
01:48:57.000 Yeah.
01:48:58.000 What changed?
01:48:59.000 It looks like a place now.
01:49:02.000 Well, it's a lot of photos of people on the wall.
01:49:03.000 When I was going in there, it looked like fucking a barn.
01:49:07.000 Yeah?
01:49:08.000 83. I had a friend, Kato.
01:49:11.000 Keith Korn was his name.
01:49:13.000 And I told him, I go, listen, you got to deal with me.
01:49:16.000 I love you to death.
01:49:17.000 Don't knock my door unless you got the best weed in town.
01:49:21.000 And when you do have the best weed in town, knock on my door.
01:49:24.000 I don't care if it's 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning.
01:49:26.000 And he would come over and tell me, I got great weed.
01:49:28.000 We got to go to Woody Creek Tavern.
01:49:31.000 First time I went in there.
01:49:32.000 Now, you want me to lie to you and tell you I knew who Hunter Thompson was?
01:49:36.000 I didn't know who the fuck he was.
01:49:38.000 First time I went in there, he was in there with Bill Murray.
01:49:41.000 Really?
01:49:42.000 And Don Johnson.
01:49:43.000 Wow.
01:49:44.000 All right.
01:49:45.000 First time I went in there.
01:49:46.000 I think, no, the second time was Don Johnson.
01:49:49.000 The first time it was Bill Murray.
01:49:52.000 I got my weed.
01:49:53.000 I got the nachos.
01:49:54.000 I didn't say a word.
01:49:55.000 You know, there was no pictures then.
01:49:57.000 And I just walked out.
01:49:58.000 And then on the way, the guy was telling me who Hunter Thompson was.
01:50:02.000 Then a year later, the first movie came out.
01:50:07.000 The first that was played by Bill Murray played him.
01:50:11.000 That was with a buffalo room.
01:50:13.000 That's a good one.
01:50:15.000 That's a good one.
01:50:17.000 And then I went in there a second time and I saw Don Johnson.
01:50:21.000 And that was fucking mind-blowing.
01:50:23.000 He was hotter than shit on Miami Vice.
01:50:27.000 And then I went in there another time, and one of the nitty-ditty dirt band were there with Hunter Thompson.
01:50:34.000 It was a fucking party up there.
01:50:36.000 And I was a kid.
01:50:37.000 And they would tell you, if you go to Aspen Airport, the bar, Clint Eastwood's there every night.
01:50:45.000 Every fucking night.
01:50:46.000 And I would not go up there.
01:50:48.000 For some reason, I was just scared to meet Clint Eastwood.
01:50:51.000 A year young.
01:50:52.000 And Don Henley picked me up hitchhiking.
01:50:54.000 Really?
01:50:55.000 One time.
01:50:56.000 I got in the car, and he had that song.
01:50:59.000 It was 83, 84. So he just put out Dirty Laundry.
01:51:03.000 And he was big.
01:51:04.000 The boys of summer.
01:51:07.000 I'm in the fucking, because Aspen used to have a hitching post.
01:51:11.000 OK? So when you finish your job at Aspen, you could just go to a hitching post and stand out there.
01:51:16.000 If people went like this, that means they weren't going down valley.
01:51:21.000 So if they did this to you, that means they were just going to like Snowmass or something like that.
01:51:25.000 Short trip.
01:51:26.000 And people would pick you up all the fucking time and just talk to you.
01:51:29.000 What's going on?
01:51:30.000 Where you from?
01:51:30.000 I'm from there.
01:51:32.000 You know?
01:51:33.000 And the first time it was Don Henley, And I still lived in Basalt.
01:51:37.000 And then, 4th of July, 83, I moved to Snowmass.
01:51:41.000 And I was hitchhiking, and John Denver picked me up in a Jeep.
01:51:44.000 John Denver picked you up?
01:51:46.000 John fucking Denver, Joe.
01:51:47.000 Wow.
01:51:47.000 And I'm like, come on.
01:51:49.000 This isn't, no.
01:51:50.000 And he's like, if you're not doing anything, I'm doing the thing.
01:51:54.000 He does a charity up there every fucking year or something.
01:51:57.000 I didn't even know.
01:51:59.000 I was just in the car.
01:52:00.000 Are you saying come to the show?
01:52:01.000 Yeah, like, come up.
01:52:02.000 It's free or some shit.
01:52:06.000 I don't know anybody.
01:52:08.000 Then like a month later, I go to Conoco in Old Snowmass.
01:52:14.000 There's Snowmass Village and there's Old Snowmass.
01:52:17.000 And I went to Old Snowmaster, because the guy was from New York, and he had hot dogs.
01:52:21.000 And I remember going there and seeing Goldie Hawn with Kurt Russell, like nothing.
01:52:27.000 Sandals on.
01:52:28.000 The girl, Kate Hudson, was a baby.
01:52:30.000 Maybe two, three, four, with her brother, a little brother that was older than her maybe.
01:52:34.000 I used to see them all the fucking time, man.
01:52:37.000 Sidney Poitier used to come into the video store.
01:52:40.000 I was shit!
01:52:41.000 That's when I asked Robin Williams for an autograph.
01:52:44.000 He told me no and he had body odor.
01:52:46.000 He stunk so fucking bad, he had been in the coke thing for like four fucking days.
01:52:51.000 Oh no.
01:52:52.000 That was a magical, magical place for a kid at 18. It was just something different, man.
01:52:59.000 And I did a movie with Adam Sandler and Don Johnson was in the back and I had to do a scene with him.
01:53:06.000 And after every scene, we had to go into this closet, and I would talk to him.
01:53:10.000 And I go, I still remember you when you got chased down Galena Street.
01:53:13.000 And he goes, you remember that?
01:53:16.000 When Miami Vice was hotter than shit, like, 86, I was in Aspen.
01:53:20.000 And one night, we were at, like, Patty Bugatti's, and you see a bunch of people running down the street.
01:53:25.000 It's a bunch of women chasing Don Johnson.
01:53:27.000 Wow.
01:53:27.000 He's fucking running with his bodyguard down the street at Aspen.
01:53:31.000 Fucking crazy shit.
01:53:32.000 I can't imagine what it's like now.
01:53:35.000 It doesn't have that homey feeling.
01:53:37.000 No, it's a different thing.
01:53:39.000 On the way out of Aspen, when you made that turnout before you hit that road, the 82, there used to be a fucking diner on the corner.
01:53:46.000 And they were known for their crumb cake.
01:53:49.000 And you could smell it.
01:53:51.000 So all you smelt when you passed that was the crumb cake and the smell of the chicory, like the burning in people's fucking tremendous.
01:54:00.000 Like I'd never smelled that before.
01:54:03.000 Like all those things, it was just, I was like a kid in a candy store.
01:54:06.000 It had to be a culture shock too, right?
01:54:08.000 Coming from New Jersey.
01:54:09.000 Shit!
01:54:10.000 Going to Aspen.
01:54:10.000 I remember the first month I'd come home and yell at my roommates, what the fuck did you do to me?
01:54:14.000 They're all faggots!
01:54:16.000 They all say good morning and hello and, you know, people pulling over.
01:54:19.000 Do you need a ride?
01:54:20.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:54:21.000 And I'm like, no, no, you can't act like that.
01:54:24.000 These people really want to help you.
01:54:26.000 So what brought you to Aspen in the first place?
01:54:30.000 My brother Jimmy Burkle.
01:54:32.000 He got thrown out of the Air Force Academy and he went back home to get his weights.
01:54:38.000 To get his Olympic weights and speakers.
01:54:41.000 We drove cross country.
01:54:42.000 He said he was going to Aspen.
01:54:44.000 I knew nothing about it.
01:54:46.000 So you said, fuck it, I'll go for a ride?
01:54:48.000 20 people were looking for me, so I had no choice.
01:54:52.000 So I came up with like $1,500.
01:54:54.000 I bought the car for us to drive in.
01:54:56.000 The axle fell off.
01:54:58.000 And it was weird because he'd call me a date when he was leaving.
01:55:02.000 But I was planning on robbing this bookmaker for a ton of dough.
01:55:07.000 The guy had money in a linen closet.
01:55:10.000 And he would have like a register.
01:55:12.000 It was like hundreds in the top, 50s in the second shelf.
01:55:14.000 And every time I went in there, he would just open up the closet and take money out and pay us.
01:55:18.000 And I go, we got to rob this guy.
01:55:20.000 So I was waiting to rob this guy.
01:55:22.000 I didn't want to go because I thought it was like a 20,000 day pay date, right?
01:55:26.000 I told him, just leave and I'll get a plane ticket.
01:55:29.000 When he got to Pennsylvania, the axle fell.
01:55:32.000 So he had to get towed back.
01:55:34.000 And once he came back, I knew I had to go.
01:55:36.000 Like, that was my sign.
01:55:37.000 Like, I gotta go.
01:55:39.000 He broke the fuck down, this guy, to come back.
01:55:42.000 And then I said, fuck, and I went with him.
01:55:44.000 I took just, I was 18, I had no family, nothing going on, and nothing to lose.
01:55:50.000 My cousin was up there.
01:55:51.000 I had a Cuban cousin, Tweedy, who got caught fucking throwing coke out of a bale.
01:55:56.000 Remember I told you that?
01:55:57.000 And then his nephew showed up to my show like a week later.
01:55:59.000 He got coke out of a bale?
01:56:01.000 He's the famous guy.
01:56:02.000 He was throwing the coke out of an airplane.
01:56:04.000 Oh.
01:56:05.000 He lived in Aspen.
01:56:09.000 That motherfucker did 25 years in America and another 15 in a Bahamian jail.
01:56:14.000 Really?
01:56:15.000 And he's out now.
01:56:16.000 Wow!
01:56:17.000 He's old, you know, he's old.
01:56:19.000 So I went up there, and I just...
01:56:21.000 It was, uh...
01:56:24.000 It was perfect for what I was just coming out of.
01:56:26.000 I lost my mother two years earlier.
01:56:28.000 I needed to fucking get some traction.
01:56:31.000 And I fell in that place.
01:56:33.000 Can you imagine, man?
01:56:34.000 I just fell into that fucking place.
01:56:36.000 Pretty crazy.
01:56:37.000 Pretty fucking crazy.
01:56:38.000 But a good shift of perspective, right?
01:56:42.000 You get to see a totally different way to live.
01:56:44.000 And I had to figure it out for myself.
01:56:46.000 And I still remember being up there struggling and joining Colorado Mountain College.
01:56:52.000 No high school diploma.
01:56:53.000 Just walked in one day.
01:56:55.000 I like to take some classes.
01:56:56.000 If you've got the money, you can take them.
01:56:58.000 Started taking six credits.
01:57:00.000 Six credits a semester.
01:57:02.000 No high school diploma.
01:57:04.000 Math classes, the whole fucking thing.
01:57:06.000 History.
01:57:07.000 Then I went to Boulder, and I joined continuing at Boulder.
01:57:11.000 And one day they came to me with a letter, Joe, and they're like, listen, you got too many credits for it.
01:57:15.000 You got to transfer it into a college.
01:57:17.000 And I'm like, I got no high school diploma.
01:57:22.000 And they're like, well, you can't take classes here.
01:57:24.000 I didn't tell them that.
01:57:25.000 I didn't have a high school diploma.
01:57:27.000 And I applied for the University of Colorado on the Spanish program.
01:57:31.000 Some program they had, you had to maintain a 2.0 in fucking garbage.
01:57:36.000 They gave you a tutor.
01:57:37.000 Really?
01:57:38.000 They gave you money out the ass, so I transferred into the University of Colorado.
01:57:42.000 They kept bugging me.
01:57:43.000 Where's your high school transcripts?
01:57:45.000 Where's your high school transcripts?
01:57:47.000 I'll whip one up in a second.
01:57:49.000 I didn't know how.
01:57:49.000 I kept lying to them.
01:57:51.000 They're coming.
01:57:51.000 They're coming.
01:57:52.000 And then finally I got arrested and I had to take my GED. So I said, fuck it.
01:57:57.000 And that's how I got in.
01:57:59.000 When you got arrested, you had to take a GED? Well, when you get arrested, you know, when they were thinking about me, I had to show the judge I was trying to get my life together.
01:58:09.000 And that was on the list.
01:58:10.000 Oh, I see.
01:58:11.000 So I took the GED, and then I went to the University of Colorado, and then I got thrown in prison.
01:58:15.000 You're probably the only guy that's gone to college and then went back and got his GED. Can you fucking believe that?
01:58:20.000 There was no computer back then.
01:58:22.000 They just, yeah, whatever.
01:58:23.000 It was Colorado at the time.
01:58:24.000 Yeah.
01:58:25.000 Bring it next time.
01:58:26.000 I mean, you could have had fake paperwork easy back then.
01:58:29.000 How would anybody have known?
01:58:30.000 I didn't want to do that.
01:58:32.000 I wanted to do it, you know, like, everything else in my life was shit.
01:58:36.000 Can I have one thing for myself?
01:58:38.000 Can I have one thing for myself that's...
01:58:40.000 What were you planning on doing when you were going to college?
01:58:43.000 Did you have a plan?
01:58:46.000 No.
01:58:47.000 No?
01:58:48.000 Just take classes?
01:58:49.000 Just took classes, you know, and then I went to Boulder.
01:58:54.000 And when they transferred me in, those were real fucking, like, classes.
01:58:59.000 And that's when I got locked up.
01:59:01.000 That was the beginning of the end for me, so...
01:59:03.000 But I took it seriously, Joe.
01:59:05.000 Everything else was shit.
01:59:07.000 This is the only thing I have that's mine, that is not shitty, you know?
01:59:10.000 Sometimes that's what a person needs.
01:59:13.000 Something that they can dedicate themselves towards.
01:59:15.000 Because they don't feel like they have anything, and there's no direction.
01:59:17.000 They don't know what to do, and they just...
01:59:20.000 You know, that old expression...
01:59:22.000 Idle Hands of the Devil's Playground?
01:59:24.000 That's real.
01:59:25.000 That's real.
01:59:26.000 That's very real.
01:59:27.000 Yeah.
01:59:28.000 If you don't have a purpose in life, you don't have a direction that you feel like you should be going in, you feel so lost.
01:59:33.000 And you can get sucked into all kinds of things.
01:59:36.000 And you're filled with anxiety, and so then you escape with drugs.
01:59:40.000 You're trying to find something to make you feel better because you just don't feel good and you feel like a loser.
01:59:46.000 The only thing that makes you feel good is accomplishing things.
01:59:49.000 Having a family, having loved ones, having friends, having a community.
01:59:53.000 But accomplishing things, too.
01:59:55.000 Those are the only things that make you feel better in life.
01:59:57.000 You know, at that point in my life, I had my drug people and my criminal people.
02:00:01.000 But I had a couple people that were trying to help me out.
02:00:04.000 You know those people that bump into your life.
02:00:06.000 I had a high school teacher that was helping me out.
02:00:08.000 I had a bunch of people.
02:00:10.000 And since I didn't have parents, I was dedicating whatever I was doing in their name.
02:00:16.000 Is that hard to say or hard to understand?
02:00:18.000 Like, I didn't have parents.
02:00:20.000 So if you helped me out, when I did something, I was doing it for Joe.
02:00:24.000 To show him that I'm a good dude, that I'm worth spending time with.
02:00:29.000 Even comedy.
02:00:30.000 I love comedy.
02:00:31.000 I love comedy, but I got out of comedy what I wanted, to become a man.
02:00:36.000 That whole journey of comedy taught me how to be a man.
02:00:39.000 It taught you how to watch other comics and be happy for them.
02:00:43.000 It's a journey of education, being a comedian.
02:00:46.000 It really is.
02:00:47.000 And let me tell you something.
02:00:48.000 To be a comedian, your IQ has to be somewhere high up there.
02:00:53.000 Like the good ones, somewhere they gotta be up there.
02:00:55.000 They're not stupid.
02:00:56.000 No, we're not stupid.
02:00:57.000 We figured out how to, you know, get to that next level.
02:01:01.000 And that was, for me, that was the most important thing.
02:01:03.000 Becoming a man.
02:01:04.000 What is becoming a man?
02:01:06.000 Just somebody who can contribute to society.
02:01:08.000 Pay taxes, not have to steal.
02:01:10.000 I wasn't looking to be a multi-millionaire.
02:01:12.000 That was never in my fucking realm.
02:01:14.000 I just wanted to function first.
02:01:16.000 That was it.
02:01:17.000 I just wanted to be a functioning person, not with cocaine.
02:01:20.000 You know, now, We were talking about something the other night.
02:01:24.000 27 years I did that shit for.
02:01:26.000 I did more when I was clean in 10 years than I did in those 30 years.
02:01:33.000 So you're always thinking about what you lost.
02:01:36.000 And then I lost those two years to prison.
02:01:38.000 I lost a lot of time fucking around.
02:01:41.000 But look what I did accomplish in ten years.
02:01:43.000 It was mind-boggling.
02:01:45.000 Between a marriage, a child, a house, the career, the story.
02:01:50.000 You got on track.
02:01:52.000 Yeah, that was it.
02:01:53.000 For me, it wasn't about...
02:01:55.000 Having a jet plane, it was about being a fucking man.
02:01:59.000 Just having a normal life.
02:02:00.000 Being proud of yourself.
02:02:01.000 That's it, you know?
02:02:03.000 I got a three, I got a fucking, I got the Beatles.
02:02:07.000 I got two other people, one is missing.
02:02:09.000 You know, you have a big home.
02:02:11.000 They're everything to me.
02:02:12.000 But I never had that.
02:02:14.000 I never had that.
02:02:15.000 I never had, you know, my mother had her life and I had my life.
02:02:19.000 And I appreciated it because it prepared me to be the man I am today.
02:02:23.000 But at that time, it's like that line from a Pink Floyd song.
02:02:27.000 You're a stranger in your own home.
02:02:29.000 You were a stranger in your own home.
02:02:31.000 Your parents are doing what they were doing to try to keep the lights on.
02:02:34.000 You're out there delivering fucking newspapers.
02:02:36.000 You know, you were driving a limo.
02:02:38.000 You didn't know where the fuck you were going.
02:02:40.000 But you figured it out.
02:02:42.000 You didn't become stale.
02:02:43.000 You didn't sit on your fucking ass.
02:02:46.000 And that's what I think a lot of Americans are doing now.
02:02:48.000 When I sit here and I go, I did this in 10 years with nothing, you know?
02:02:53.000 That's the thing that people are not considering when they talk about universal basic income, things like that.
02:02:58.000 That you need...
02:02:59.000 You need challenges.
02:03:00.000 You need challenges.
02:03:00.000 You just told me you have a challenge.
02:03:01.000 You want to do something because it's a challenge.
02:03:03.000 Yeah.
02:03:03.000 We challenge it.
02:03:04.000 We open up the door.
02:03:06.000 We're supposed to open up the mouth and...
02:03:09.000 Fucking put a chair in the lion's mouth and sit.
02:03:11.000 Yeah.
02:03:11.000 That's what makes us tick.
02:03:13.000 Yeah.
02:03:13.000 Is to always be working towards something.
02:03:15.000 Yeah, I think everybody wants something like that.
02:03:17.000 There's no fucking way, Universal.
02:03:18.000 I don't want you getting the same handout I get.
02:03:21.000 Handouts don't work, Joe.
02:03:22.000 They don't.
02:03:23.000 Handouts do not work.
02:03:25.000 They do not work.
02:03:26.000 For certain people, they work.
02:03:28.000 But for certain, in a mass, they don't work.
02:03:30.000 People are gonna buy stereos and concert tickets and, you know, that comes first.
02:03:34.000 Even that episode of Sopranos, when the chick says, my phone's about to get turned off, I got no food and Tony gives her money.
02:03:41.000 And then she comes back, she goes, look at the shoes I got.
02:03:43.000 $600.
02:03:44.000 And he goes, what happened to that?
02:03:45.000 You know, you gotta live a little.
02:03:47.000 That's everybody's mind.
02:03:48.000 That was my mind.
02:03:49.000 Yeah, especially when you don't have anything.
02:03:51.000 Yeah, what's important?
02:03:52.000 Then all of a sudden you have $1,200.
02:03:53.000 Look at the fucking...
02:03:54.000 Jamie, look at the credit card debt that this country's in right now.
02:04:00.000 Did you see the credit card debt?
02:04:01.000 All these $400 countries.
02:04:03.000 You think people have this money?
02:04:04.000 No, what's the credit card debt like?
02:04:06.000 It's fucking insane right now.
02:04:08.000 People are living off their fucking cards, Joe, since the pandemic.
02:04:12.000 Now it's becoming second nature.
02:04:15.000 It's just a card.
02:04:16.000 I don't know if you've ever been in card debt...
02:04:19.000 You're never going to get out of it.
02:04:21.000 Unless a chunk comes into your life.
02:04:23.000 Right.
02:04:24.000 Not your little $4,000 tax return.
02:04:26.000 It's got to be a chunk or you're never going to get out of that fucking debt.
02:04:29.000 I was in huge debt.
02:04:32.000 Huge!
02:04:33.000 Huge!
02:04:34.000 Credit card?
02:04:36.000 No, I got rid of all that.
02:04:37.000 What was your debt?
02:04:39.000 You know, one day I woke up and I owed...
02:04:42.000 Look at this.
02:04:42.000 Maxed out inside America's credit card debt crisis and what we do next.
02:04:46.000 And this is from CNET. It says, our $1.13 trillion in credit card debt.
02:04:55.000 Wow.
02:04:56.000 Is shattering lives.
02:04:58.000 Everyday borrowers share how they're navigating this uniquely American debt machine.
02:05:02.000 That's a lot of money, man.
02:05:04.000 And the thing is, they're giving credit cards to people that are too young to really understand debt.
02:05:09.000 You're giving credit cards to 18-year-olds.
02:05:11.000 No way!
02:05:11.000 That's when I failed.
02:05:12.000 No way!
02:05:13.000 And you know what, even, Doug, there's a lot of shit going on in colleges.
02:05:17.000 Oh, the college thing is the worst.
02:05:18.000 Like, when you get down to now, they're just, you know.
02:05:20.000 That's the worst scam.
02:05:21.000 The worst scam is the education loans.
02:05:25.000 It's the worst scam.
02:05:26.000 Worst.
02:05:26.000 It's the worst, because you're convincing kids that this is the only way they're going to be successful in life, and a lot of them don't even wind up using it, and then they're saddled down with debt.
02:05:33.000 For the rest of their fucking life and there's not a lot of good options other than that It's not like there's a lot of other things you could look to like this is a better way to go Like no like college for a lot of people is like the only path it seems reasonably lit Like that path I could see where that path is I'm gonna walk down that path and then all of a sudden you're a hundred thousand debt 150,000 in debt you're like And then you get a job out of college and it's for $52,000 a year.
02:05:59.000 You're like, oh my God.
02:06:00.000 How am I going to pay this money off?
02:06:02.000 Well, you're not.
02:06:03.000 You're not.
02:06:04.000 You're never going to.
02:06:04.000 And they don't stop.
02:06:06.000 No.
02:06:07.000 And it gets interest.
02:06:08.000 Dog, in the middle of my debt, a fucking student loan popped up.
02:06:12.000 Really?
02:06:13.000 And they weren't taking no deals.
02:06:16.000 They weren't taking a penny on the dollar.
02:06:18.000 They wanted the full $3,000 from fucking 1980-something.
02:06:23.000 They're not fucking around those school loans.
02:06:25.000 We have a friend, a mutual friend, that decided not to get married.
02:06:32.000 As much as he loved this fucking girl, broke up with her because of her debt.
02:06:37.000 Yeah.
02:06:37.000 He goes, if I marry her, 15 grand a month.
02:06:41.000 Yeah.
02:06:42.000 Or something.
02:06:42.000 It was something crazy.
02:06:44.000 It was something crazy, like her school loans.
02:06:46.000 Yeah.
02:06:46.000 He goes, I can't marry into that.
02:06:48.000 We're never going to.
02:06:49.000 She has a kid in three years.
02:06:50.000 That's on me.
02:06:51.000 Right.
02:06:51.000 Well, it's on you right away when you get married.
02:06:53.000 And if she dies, you owe it.
02:06:56.000 Yeah.
02:06:56.000 It's one of those deals.
02:06:57.000 It's on you.
02:06:58.000 You didn't get married.
02:06:59.000 And who knows how many.
02:07:00.000 What is the number?
02:07:01.000 What is the number that she owed?
02:07:02.000 Do you remember?
02:07:04.000 Big.
02:07:05.000 Hundreds.
02:07:06.000 Attorney.
02:07:07.000 And she started taking money and taking world traps.
02:07:11.000 Because once you get those student loans, you know.
02:07:15.000 So again, it's a credit card mentality.
02:07:17.000 I'm already in debt.
02:07:18.000 They're offering me this on a credit card to go to Europe.
02:07:22.000 You know, one last blast to add to the fucking drama I already have.
02:07:27.000 And then you've got to find some insanely rich guy to rescue you.
02:07:31.000 I remember.
02:07:33.000 Having no credit.
02:07:35.000 Between you and I, I didn't know what credit was.
02:07:37.000 Okay?
02:07:38.000 I had no idea.
02:07:40.000 I knew cash.
02:07:41.000 I came from a cash society.
02:07:43.000 First time I walked into the University of Colorado and signed those fucking loan papers and that Pell-Gram paperwork, I think two days later I had a credit card.
02:07:52.000 With a $500 limit.
02:07:53.000 I didn't even know how to handle it.
02:07:55.000 And then they told me that you just call them and get the limit up.
02:07:58.000 And I kept calling.
02:08:02.000 And then you don't know.
02:08:03.000 Your limit's still stuck.
02:08:05.000 And now you have to go to a casino to have the fucking pit boss call your Visa card.
02:08:11.000 That's how they always got money.
02:08:12.000 Just give your credit card to the pit boss.
02:08:14.000 This is 30 years ago, though.
02:08:16.000 Not now.
02:08:17.000 Where you can just give the credit card to the pit boss and he can call Visa for you.
02:08:20.000 And they ramp it up.
02:08:21.000 Yeah, they ramp it up.
02:08:22.000 Not anymore.
02:08:23.000 Good news, Mr. Diaz.
02:08:25.000 You got an extra $2,000.
02:08:27.000 Booyah!
02:08:27.000 Let's go.
02:08:28.000 Let's go.
02:08:29.000 Yeah.
02:08:30.000 Do you remember that scam where you would get like 10 cassettes for like a dollar?
02:08:37.000 Do you remember that?
02:08:38.000 I don't go to- Columbia House.
02:08:39.000 Columbia House.
02:08:40.000 I don't go to Indiana.
02:08:42.000 You've never seen me do anything in Indiana.
02:08:44.000 I must owe Columbia House $10 million.
02:08:47.000 Are you stupid?
02:08:48.000 I don't go to Indiana.
02:08:49.000 That's Terre Haute, Indiana.
02:08:51.000 Right?
02:08:51.000 Look it up.
02:08:52.000 I still remember where that motherfucker came from.
02:08:54.000 I don't even go to Indiana.
02:08:56.000 I don't even want him to remember.
02:08:57.000 And then you would have to buy a new...
02:08:59.000 Three albums.
02:09:00.000 Yeah.
02:09:00.000 Fucking...
02:09:01.000 Was it every month?
02:09:01.000 You'd get 12 CDs for a penny.
02:09:04.000 12 hot hits for a cool penny.
02:09:06.000 I don't even think it was CDs back then.
02:09:08.000 Look, it says cassettes or records.
02:09:11.000 Wow.
02:09:12.000 So, how did they make money?
02:09:14.000 Because everything was re-recorded.
02:09:19.000 So they took Santana albums and then put it on like a cheap cassette or something.
02:09:24.000 Oh, really?
02:09:24.000 Like it was something crazy.
02:09:25.000 So they re-recorded it?
02:09:26.000 Oh, I thought it was...
02:09:27.000 No, no, it was real.
02:09:28.000 It was real music.
02:09:29.000 No, no, no.
02:09:30.000 It's the band.
02:09:30.000 I thought it was different.
02:09:31.000 But it's something.
02:09:32.000 There's this catch here.
02:09:33.000 There's some catch.
02:09:34.000 So you had to buy, whatever, 12 hearts for a penny.
02:09:38.000 You had to put the penny on the paper and scotch tape it.
02:09:42.000 Stop right there.
02:09:43.000 AOL may have had the most prevalent mail-in magazine-based marketing campaign of the 90s, but a close second goes to both Columbia House, which was owned by Sony, and BMG, which was owned by RCA. It was a common sight in magazines of all shapes and sizes to see ads like the one above, which promoted extremely cheap collections of music in exchange for signing up for a membership.
02:10:02.000 It even single-handedly helped some CDs become hits.
02:10:05.000 Hootie and the Blowfish, for example, is said to have sold over 3 million copies of Crack Rearview through this service.
02:10:12.000 I was just going to try to skim through to find what it was.
02:10:15.000 Wow.
02:10:16.000 I think what they did is that you would sign up for a credit card bill with this and then all of a sudden you'd start getting billed like 20 bucks a month.
02:10:22.000 Yeah.
02:10:22.000 And it was really hard to stop it.
02:10:24.000 There was no credit card in my day.
02:10:26.000 It was just send the penny.
02:10:27.000 You get 12...
02:10:28.000 Yeah, I don't remember a credit card.
02:10:30.000 I don't remember signing up with a credit card.
02:10:32.000 I don't think I got a credit card.
02:10:33.000 You sent the penny.
02:10:34.000 You sent the penny.
02:10:34.000 Here it is.
02:10:35.000 Degraded audio quality.
02:10:36.000 In 94, Stereophile Magazine published a feature analyzing whether the quality of Columbia House or BMG CDs was actually much lower than one could find in a traditional record store.
02:10:48.000 The belief, which hasn't been confirmed, was that the service was using lower quality master tapes and on high quality equipment One could tell the difference.
02:10:57.000 But that said it wasn't confirmed.
02:10:59.000 Lack of royalty payments.
02:11:01.000 Here's another one.
02:11:02.000 Go up.
02:11:03.000 So it says...
02:11:05.000 Wow.
02:11:30.000 So they didn't get paid for those.
02:11:31.000 So the model the company used relied on customers essentially forgetting that they had subscribed to the service and then sending random CDs or cassette tapes to people that haven't asked for them along with a bill.
02:11:41.000 Yep.
02:11:43.000 That's the same kind of thing happened with like Girls Gone Wild.
02:11:46.000 Like you'd get one and then they just keep sending you a new video every month.
02:11:49.000 Tell us more, Jamie.
02:11:49.000 What happened to you?
02:11:50.000 I never paid for it, but I do remember getting a few free DVDs in the bag.
02:12:12.000 Wow.
02:12:12.000 I wonder how much the bands got paid for those from Columbia House.
02:12:17.000 Aggressive bill collection tactics.
02:12:20.000 Consumer Affairs and rip-off record of each report pages on the service and its collection agency, Trident Asset Management, that go back for miles.
02:12:29.000 If you haven't paid for those CDs you got back in the 90s, they're probably still looking to shake you down for your money, Joey.
02:12:36.000 I didn't do them in the 90s.
02:12:37.000 I didn't do them in the 70s.
02:12:39.000 A long time ago, you know what I'm saying?
02:12:41.000 I still remember the album I got.
02:12:43.000 You know what the fucking first album I got from Columbia House was?
02:12:46.000 What?
02:12:47.000 Bye Bye Miss American Pie.
02:12:49.000 Don whatever his name was.
02:12:50.000 Yeah, wasn't it Don...
02:12:52.000 What was his name?
02:12:54.000 I forget.
02:12:55.000 I got like her...
02:12:57.000 Bye Bye Miss American Pie.
02:13:01.000 John McClain.
02:13:02.000 John McClain.
02:13:02.000 John McClain.
02:13:03.000 That's right.
02:13:04.000 I still remember that one.
02:13:06.000 I bought, like, another one, Santana Braxis.
02:13:11.000 That was the song that would come on at parties and everybody would just start singing.
02:13:14.000 Yeah.
02:13:15.000 Great fucking song.
02:13:17.000 Great jam.
02:13:19.000 Yeah.
02:13:20.000 Didn't Tyson Fury have the entire audience sing that after one of his fights?
02:13:26.000 I think Tyson Fury sang that fucking song.
02:13:29.000 That's a jam.
02:13:30.000 To an entire audience.
02:13:32.000 I'll jump up and down.
02:13:34.000 Which one?
02:13:34.000 The one by Neil Diamond.
02:13:38.000 They have the new commercial with a bunch of black people, Mexicans in a bar, jumping up and down, and I'm like, black people, Mexicans will never jump up.
02:13:44.000 Which songs?
02:13:46.000 That's that guy.
02:13:47.000 Which song?
02:13:48.000 It drives me crazy.
02:13:49.000 You said it too fast.
02:13:49.000 I'm having a blind blink right now, but they're singing at baseball games a lot.
02:13:55.000 Drives me crazy.
02:13:57.000 They sing it in the Hamptons.
02:13:58.000 I know what it is.
02:13:59.000 They sing it in the Hamptons all the time.
02:14:01.000 Gentiles get together.
02:14:02.000 Sweet Caroline.
02:14:02.000 Sweet Caroline.
02:14:04.000 Drives me fucking crazy.
02:14:05.000 Oh my god.
02:14:06.000 He sings that one too.
02:14:08.000 I love Neil Diamond.
02:14:10.000 But that song, when it comes on a bar and I see people hugging.
02:14:12.000 It's not the song, it's people's reaction to the song.
02:14:14.000 Yeah, it drives me crazy.
02:14:15.000 And now they have a Budweiser commercial or something.
02:14:17.000 Sweet.
02:14:18.000 With like brothers and Mexicans jumping up and down.
02:14:20.000 Stop.
02:14:21.000 Stop it.
02:14:22.000 It's a great fucking song.
02:14:24.000 Tyson Fury, Recover to Cover?
02:14:26.000 Yeah.
02:14:30.000 Motherfucker!
02:14:34.000 I love that guy!
02:14:40.000 That's the way to end the boxing match by someone.
02:14:43.000 That's fucking great.
02:14:44.000 Incredible.
02:14:44.000 And he got the whole crowd to sing along, and they all stayed.
02:14:47.000 Most people leave when the fight's over.
02:14:48.000 Especially when you win by knockout.
02:14:50.000 They stayed, because they want to hear him talk.
02:14:52.000 You know how unusual that is?
02:14:53.000 Where a whole crowd is willing to stay to listen to the guy talk?
02:14:57.000 Watch what happens at a UFC main event.
02:14:59.000 When, say, someone wins, there's a few people who stick around, they want to see the post-fight speech, but most people are headed to the fucking door.
02:15:06.000 If Leon Edwards starts singing Sweet Caroline...
02:15:09.000 That'd be great.
02:15:11.000 I love Leon.
02:15:13.000 That'd be great.
02:15:14.000 Or something.
02:15:15.000 Something that people know.
02:15:17.000 There's a few of those songs that everybody knows.
02:15:20.000 I would love somebody with a Brazilian accent to sing Sweet Caroline.
02:15:24.000 Or our boy Romero to sing Sweet Caroline.
02:15:29.000 Joey, to this day, that was one of my favorite podcasts of all time.
02:15:32.000 You translating for Yoel Romero?
02:15:35.000 He had me lost.
02:15:36.000 Did he?
02:15:36.000 My Spanish is fucking, you know, I gotta be around those people every day.
02:15:40.000 You were pretty good.
02:15:41.000 You were pretty good.
02:15:41.000 You were pretty good.
02:15:43.000 I know he was, you know, it's just what a character that guy is.
02:15:47.000 Bro, he just won.
02:15:48.000 He still hits me up.
02:15:50.000 He's a good, good guy.
02:15:52.000 He just beat Tiago Silva in PFL vs.
02:15:57.000 Bellator.
02:15:58.000 Yeah, that's us.
02:16:04.000 I love you!
02:16:07.000 He's the best, man.
02:16:09.000 That guy.
02:16:09.000 Imagine what would have happened if that guy got into MMA at 22. He didn't even get to the UFC until he was in his late 30s.
02:16:18.000 That guy would have killed everybody.
02:16:19.000 What is he now?
02:16:20.000 He's 46, 47. Yeah, he just beat Tiago Silva.
02:16:26.000 Tiago Silva's still legit.
02:16:28.000 Still fucking super dangerous.
02:16:30.000 That's crazy.
02:16:30.000 Tiago Silva went to a split decision with Jon Jones.
02:16:35.000 Yeah, that guy.
02:16:38.000 Yoel Romero just beat him.
02:16:40.000 Make sure it's a split decision.
02:16:41.000 That might not be correct.
02:16:44.000 I want to be sure about that.
02:16:46.000 But it was a close fight.
02:16:47.000 Close fight.
02:16:48.000 He's a good fighter.
02:16:50.000 John fucked his knees up though.
02:16:52.000 John destroyed that dude's knees.
02:16:54.000 When is John coming back?
02:16:55.000 Well, John tore his pec muscle.
02:16:58.000 It's a big one.
02:16:59.000 Tore it off the bone in wrestling practice.
02:17:02.000 You could actually see it in the video.
02:17:04.000 He shoots and they're in the scramble and he just screams and falls back and grabs his chest.
02:17:12.000 Split decision, yeah.
02:17:13.000 So, on one judge's scorecard, Tiago Silva beat the greatest fighter of all time.
02:17:18.000 Santos.
02:17:19.000 Excuse me, Tiago Santos beat the greatest fighter of all time.
02:17:24.000 And then Yoel just beat him.
02:17:26.000 I mean, I know it's been a slide since then.
02:17:28.000 What was that, 2017?
02:17:30.000 What year was that, Jamie?
02:17:33.000 2016?
02:17:34.000 UFC 239. I don't know why it said the date.
02:17:38.000 It doesn't say the date on Wikipedia?
02:17:41.000 I'm looking at the main page.
02:17:42.000 There's all sorts of stats, but not the date of the fight.
02:17:45.000 That's interesting.
02:17:47.000 19. Okay.
02:17:49.000 So that's not that long ago, man.
02:17:50.000 Five years ago?
02:17:52.000 Yoel is, I think he's at least 46. He turns 47 at the end of April.
02:17:58.000 He looks fucking great.
02:18:00.000 He looks fucking great.
02:18:01.000 He moves fucking great.
02:18:03.000 He looks great.
02:18:03.000 He doesn't look slow.
02:18:05.000 He doesn't look old.
02:18:06.000 He's still on America's top team?
02:18:09.000 That's a good question.
02:18:11.000 I don't know who's this.
02:18:12.000 He always comes up with these Cuban scientists that come over from Cuba and stuff.
02:18:16.000 Someone's doing something right.
02:18:18.000 You know, they just popped one of the UFC guys, Walt Harris, four years.
02:18:24.000 Four years?
02:18:24.000 Four years.
02:18:25.000 And he's 40. So that's essentially a career ender, you know?
02:18:30.000 But when you're 40, dude, in your fighting, in your training every day, you're doing two-a-days and three-a-days, like, bro, your fucking, your testosterone gets beat down.
02:18:40.000 Your system gets beat down.
02:18:41.000 You're, you know, you're putting a tax on your system that's very hard to deal with at that age.
02:18:46.000 Really?
02:18:47.000 Oh yeah!
02:18:48.000 It's a big difference.
02:18:49.000 You get a guy who's 22 years old and you put him through a fight camp, that's a guy who can recover.
02:18:54.000 As long as he's doing the right things, he's eating right, and he's sleeping right, and he's hydrating right, he can recover.
02:18:59.000 You can get through the camp.
02:19:00.000 It's hard as shit.
02:19:01.000 I mean, a real fight camp for MMA is one of the most difficult endeavors in all professional sports.
02:19:08.000 You have to fight five rounds, 25 minutes of actual fighting in a championship level fight.
02:19:15.000 And you're getting kicked and punched and wrestled and you're getting taken down.
02:19:20.000 You're trying to get back up.
02:19:21.000 The exertion level is so insane.
02:19:23.000 When you watch like Cheeto versus Sugar Sean, at the end of that fight, even though Sugar Sean put on a clinic.
02:19:32.000 I mean, he put on a clinic.
02:19:33.000 At the end of that show, he was beat the fuck up.
02:19:36.000 He walked out of there with a foot cast, an arm cast.
02:19:39.000 He's limping through the hallway.
02:19:41.000 I mean, and he won.
02:19:43.000 And then Cheetos just busted up, man.
02:19:45.000 His whole face is busted up.
02:19:47.000 I mean, those guys are exhausted.
02:19:50.000 They went through hell.
02:19:52.000 And it took them 12 weeks to get into kind of peak physical condition just to be able to do that.
02:19:59.000 I mean, it's a crazy way to make a living, man.
02:20:02.000 And you're depending on all these things that break so easy.
02:20:07.000 All this stuff, you're going to use this to make your living and feed your family?
02:20:11.000 You have a wife and kids, and you're going to depend on your tissue and your bones to stay in place while you're smashing people in the face, and you're getting smashed, and you're getting your arm barred, and you're getting your leg ripped.
02:20:25.000 All this shit is happening to you.
02:20:27.000 Your neck's getting tweaked.
02:20:28.000 Your back falls down.
02:20:30.000 You're tweaking your lower back.
02:20:31.000 Your hamstrings fucked.
02:20:33.000 Your hip hurts now.
02:20:34.000 You're fighting hurt.
02:20:36.000 You're going to fight.
02:20:37.000 They all fight hurt.
02:20:38.000 They all fight hurt.
02:20:39.000 Like you said, 12 weeks and shit happens.
02:20:42.000 Yeah.
02:20:43.000 And you've got to figure out a way to make it into the cage.
02:20:48.000 And so some of them, like Tom Aspinall, he didn't even, he fucked his rib up preparing for that fight with Sergei Pavlich.
02:20:55.000 So he couldn't even wrestle.
02:20:57.000 He's fighting this gigantic, terrifying Russian who knocks everybody into the dark dimensions and he can't even wrestle.
02:21:04.000 He can't do the one thing that you would think he needs to do to that guy.
02:21:08.000 Pavlovich fucks everybody up.
02:21:10.000 Fucked Derrick Lewis upstanding.
02:21:11.000 He fucked a lot of people up.
02:21:13.000 Taitui Vasa.
02:21:14.000 He's fucking people up.
02:21:15.000 Beating them upstanding.
02:21:16.000 He's a dangerous cat.
02:21:18.000 He's giant.
02:21:19.000 He's giant.
02:21:21.000 And Aspinall couldn't even, you know, but he had to take that chance.
02:21:25.000 And it worked out for him.
02:21:27.000 You know, but then look, Islam Makachev, you know, when he had the rematch with Volkanovski, he's preparing for Charles Oliveira, Charles Oliveira gets cut, Makachev steps in, or Alexander steps in with fucking 11 days notice, and he rematches with a guy who's gone through a full camp?
02:21:46.000 It's crazy!
02:21:48.000 That doesn't happen in boxing, ever.
02:21:50.000 If Tyson Fury gets cut 10 days before he's supposed to fight Anthony Joshua, they don't just call Usyk up and go, what are you doing in 10 days?
02:22:00.000 That never happens, ever.
02:22:03.000 Especially at a championship level.
02:22:05.000 Not just championship level, but the two guys who are widely considered to be the very best pound-for-pound fighters in the world.
02:22:12.000 Number one and number two up until the Ilya Teporia fight.
02:22:15.000 Number one and number two in most people's eyes.
02:22:17.000 Up until the second Makachev fight.
02:22:20.000 Before that fight it was Volkanovski was like there was the debate whether it was Makachev or Volkanovski was number one.
02:22:26.000 And so Makachev knocks him out with a head kick.
02:22:30.000 He's only had 10 days to prepare.
02:22:31.000 He doesn't look the same.
02:22:32.000 He gets rocked.
02:22:33.000 He gets beat up in that fight.
02:22:34.000 And then he goes and fights DePora and he gets knocked out.
02:22:36.000 So the whole world that you live in, you go from being the best pound-for-pound fighter on earth, the fucking man, to just months later, you're not even the best in your division anymore.
02:22:48.000 The best guy in your division just knocked you unconscious.
02:22:50.000 And now he has your belt and he's 10 years younger than you.
02:22:55.000 That dude is tight too.
02:22:59.000 He's fucking tight.
02:23:00.000 He's dangerous.
02:23:01.000 He's tight.
02:23:02.000 That shit is tight.
02:23:03.000 Everything is so sharp.
02:23:05.000 His technique is flawless.
02:23:07.000 Everything is flawless.
02:23:08.000 His boxing is so dangerous.
02:23:10.000 He's so dangerous everywhere.
02:23:12.000 He's dangerous with submissions.
02:23:13.000 He's dangerous with kicking.
02:23:15.000 His heart is dangerous.
02:23:18.000 He fought this dude, Jai Herbert, and he went up to 155 for that fight.
02:23:22.000 So he's a 45-pounder.
02:23:24.000 And he said, fuck it, I'll take a fight at 55. He gets head-kicked in the first round by...
02:23:29.000 Jai Herbert is a nasty stand-up fighter.
02:23:32.000 He's so good.
02:23:33.000 He's real slick.
02:23:34.000 He's real good stand-up.
02:23:37.000 Like, real sharp stand-up.
02:23:39.000 And he caught Toporia with the perfect head kick.
02:23:42.000 And Toporia, he's in real trouble.
02:23:45.000 He got dropped.
02:23:46.000 And he scrambled, got a hold of him.
02:23:49.000 Next round, sent him into the Dark Lands.
02:23:51.000 Blasted him against the...
02:23:52.000 I mean, literally slept him.
02:23:54.000 Face-planted him.
02:23:55.000 And walk-off KO. He's an animal, dude.
02:23:59.000 He's a real problem because he's intelligent, he's dedicated, he's driven, he's got that kind of confidence that those championship guys have where they know they're the best even before they're the best.
02:24:13.000 He knew he was the best even before.
02:24:15.000 He's literally fighting the best guy ever in that division.
02:24:18.000 And he's telling everybody, I'm going to fuck this dude up inside of two rounds.
02:24:22.000 When is he fighting next?
02:24:23.000 Good question.
02:24:24.000 I don't know who he's fighting next.
02:24:26.000 So he wanted to go up and fight Islam Makachev at 155. And then that was talk.
02:24:33.000 People talked about that.
02:24:35.000 And then they were also talking about...
02:24:39.000 Sugar Sean said he wanted to go up and fight Toporia.
02:24:42.000 But Teporia said, no, I want you to fight Marab, who's also from Georgia, just like Ilya is born in Georgia.
02:24:49.000 And Marab's the rightful guy that should be fighting at 35, so that's going to happen there.
02:24:54.000 But if Sean gets past Marab, you could see a world where they can make a champion versus championship fight at 145. But Ilya Tepori essentially has kind of cleaned out the division already.
02:25:07.000 The real dangerous guys, like Josh Emmett, he pieced that dude up.
02:25:10.000 Wow.
02:25:11.000 He pieced Josh Emmett up.
02:25:12.000 He beat his ass.
02:25:13.000 He's just so good, man.
02:25:15.000 And he's so, like, he fought different with Emmett because Emmett is terrifying.
02:25:19.000 That guy's just a behemoth.
02:25:22.000 At 145, that dude puts people to sleep.
02:25:24.000 He's that guy that knocked out Bryce Mitchell with that one punch.
02:25:28.000 That's right, that's right.
02:25:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:25:32.000 Josh Emmett is a terrifying striker.
02:25:34.000 He just throws everything into every punch.
02:25:36.000 And he knows all he has to do is hit you once.
02:25:37.000 And so that's how he fights.
02:25:38.000 And so Ilya just fought real clever.
02:25:41.000 Just moved in, moved back, moved in, moved back.
02:25:43.000 Didn't charge forward.
02:25:44.000 Just aware of the power until he could start piecing him up.
02:25:48.000 And then just started piecing him up.
02:25:50.000 Tactically, he's so smart.
02:25:52.000 You know, so it's not just his ability, his skill.
02:25:55.000 It's knowing when to apply it and how to adjust to different kinds of fighters.
02:26:00.000 But the Jai Herbert one might have been the most impressive one.
02:26:02.000 Dude, see if we can find that.
02:26:04.000 He got head kicked.
02:26:06.000 He gets hits with a switch high kick off the left leg right to the face, man.
02:26:11.000 I mean, like this.
02:26:14.000 He just dropped, which is 99 times out of 100. It's like the beginning of the end.
02:26:21.000 Look at this.
02:26:22.000 Look at that left high kick.
02:26:24.000 Watch this.
02:26:25.000 Boom!
02:26:26.000 I mean, dude, he got fucking cracked on the chin, dude.
02:26:32.000 Look how perfect it is.
02:26:33.000 No, it's perfect.
02:26:34.000 I mean, it was a perfect high kick.
02:26:37.000 And Jai Herbert's dangerous.
02:26:39.000 Dangerous, too.
02:26:40.000 But he got lucky that he got a hold of a leg, you know, and also that he didn't try to stand up.
02:26:47.000 He actually got knocked down.
02:26:48.000 If he was standing up, Jai Herbert could have caught him with a bunch of other shots and put him away.
02:26:52.000 Because once you get hurt, if you can get a hold of someone, it gives you at least seconds to try to clear your head.
02:27:00.000 Because sometimes it takes your head like a few seconds to reboot.
02:27:03.000 And you can still hold on to someone while that's happening, and maybe you can survive.
02:27:07.000 So in his case, he did.
02:27:09.000 But now show the knockout.
02:27:11.000 Show Teporia knocking out Jai Herbert.
02:27:14.000 So in the second round, he just times him with his right hand from hell.
02:27:19.000 And it's a good fight up until then, man.
02:27:22.000 Jai Herbert is a tall...
02:27:23.000 Look at this.
02:27:24.000 He's a tall 55. And you can see by his movement.
02:27:28.000 Like, very skillful striker.
02:27:30.000 Very dangerous.
02:27:31.000 And long.
02:27:33.000 So Ilya gets him up against the cage.
02:27:35.000 Look at the rip to the body.
02:27:36.000 Boom!
02:27:36.000 Oh my god.
02:27:38.000 Bro.
02:27:39.000 But look at the combination before that.
02:27:40.000 He sets it up by a left to the body.
02:27:42.000 Watch this left to the body.
02:27:45.000 Watch it.
02:27:46.000 Boom!
02:27:46.000 Bang!
02:27:47.000 Hard left hook to the body.
02:27:49.000 Right hand over the top.
02:27:51.000 Look at this.
02:27:52.000 Boom!
02:27:52.000 Right to the liver.
02:27:53.000 Boom!
02:27:54.000 And bro, that was a solid liver punch too, because you see him breathe out after he gets hit.
02:27:58.000 Show that right there again, right before.
02:28:00.000 Watch.
02:28:01.000 He gets hit with this left of the body.
02:28:02.000 Look at him breathe out.
02:28:03.000 See his mouth fill up?
02:28:05.000 That's like...
02:28:05.000 It's a perfect liver punch, and then a perfect right hand behind it.
02:28:12.000 So he might have been knocked out just from that liver punch, son.
02:28:15.000 He might have went down a half a second later from that liver punch.
02:28:18.000 That's how good that punch is.
02:28:19.000 And then he hits him with that right hand over the top.
02:28:22.000 Topori is terrifying.
02:28:24.000 Terrifying.
02:28:25.000 To go back to what you were talking about earlier with Yoel and this fucking guy I was watching this morning.
02:28:32.000 He's 39 years old.
02:28:35.000 Fucking LeBron.
02:28:37.000 LeBron looks awesome.
02:28:39.000 He looks awesome, man.
02:28:40.000 Did you see Chael Sonnen's been ranting and screaming?
02:28:42.000 He's on steroids!
02:28:43.000 Everyone knows he's on steroids!
02:28:47.000 That guy's 39. He's averaging 35 minutes a fucking game.
02:28:51.000 He's top five in the NBA in minutes.
02:28:54.000 Do they test NBA players?
02:28:56.000 I don't know.
02:28:56.000 I don't know.
02:28:57.000 Jamie, what do they test them for?
02:28:58.000 Do they test them for testosterone replacement?
02:29:00.000 Alcohol.
02:29:01.000 No reefer.
02:29:02.000 Not reefer anymore.
02:29:03.000 No reefer, no.
02:29:04.000 Never.
02:29:04.000 They can't.
02:29:05.000 They can't.
02:29:05.000 They won't have a league.
02:29:06.000 It's too good for...
02:29:08.000 They won't have a league.
02:29:09.000 It's the same reason why it's so good for pool.
02:29:11.000 It's got to be so good for basketball.
02:29:13.000 Puts you in that zone.
02:29:14.000 You just feel it.
02:29:15.000 You feel things more.
02:29:17.000 Anything with reefer puts you in that.
02:29:19.000 You know, the other night we had music on.
02:29:21.000 Led Zeppelin came on.
02:29:23.000 And I was sitting there and all of a sudden I went back and I'm like, to be honest here, this is the reason why I smoke pot.
02:29:30.000 That's the reason.
02:29:31.000 I would never have done a drug.
02:29:33.000 But I knew it was going to sound a lot better with that Rifa.
02:29:37.000 It does.
02:29:38.000 Isn't it crazy?
02:29:39.000 Food tastes better.
02:29:40.000 Basketball.
02:29:40.000 Sex feels better.
02:29:41.000 Lifting weights with Rifa.
02:29:43.000 Oh, yeah.
02:29:43.000 Amazing.
02:29:44.000 You feel your muscles.
02:29:46.000 Oh, my God.
02:29:46.000 Riding a bike with Rifa.
02:29:48.000 The only thing I don't do with Rifa is roll.
02:29:50.000 Fuck you.
02:29:51.000 You don't do jujitsu?
02:29:52.000 No.
02:29:53.000 No?
02:29:53.000 No.
02:29:54.000 Interesting.
02:29:54.000 No.
02:29:55.000 A lot of people do.
02:29:56.000 I don't give a fuck.
02:29:57.000 Including this guy.
02:29:57.000 I know.
02:29:58.000 No.
02:29:58.000 No.
02:29:59.000 That donkey dude?
02:30:00.000 No.
02:30:01.000 I went to his seminar.
02:30:02.000 He was smoking.
02:30:04.000 Jeff?
02:30:05.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:30:07.000 He was hilarious.
02:30:08.000 Jeff Glover.
02:30:08.000 Oh.
02:30:09.000 Yeah, he's hilarious.
02:30:10.000 He's hilarious, dog.
02:30:11.000 Yeah, he's fucking good, too.
02:30:12.000 He's good, too.
02:30:13.000 He's good.
02:30:14.000 You know, that reefer shit, somebody mounted me once and I was high on an edible.
02:30:18.000 That was it.
02:30:19.000 Time out.
02:30:20.000 Time out.
02:30:20.000 No, no, [...
02:30:22.000 It's amazing for people.
02:30:23.000 Oh, no.
02:30:24.000 Yeah.
02:30:24.000 Anything like that, riding.
02:30:26.000 Oh, my God.
02:30:27.000 For riding, yeah.
02:30:27.000 Riding when you giggle.
02:30:29.000 Yeah.
02:30:29.000 And you're like, what the fuck?
02:30:31.000 But this, what I wanted to talk to you about was recuperation at that age.
02:30:35.000 Gotta be really smart.
02:30:37.000 Well, LeBron spends a lot of money.
02:30:39.000 He's like famous for spending money on his recovery, right?
02:30:43.000 Massages.
02:30:44.000 Everything.
02:30:44.000 Cold plunges and saunas.
02:30:46.000 That dude does everything.
02:30:47.000 Everything.
02:30:48.000 Gotta give it to him.
02:30:48.000 Well, you have to.
02:30:49.000 He's at the very top of his game and he's worth a billion dollars.
02:30:54.000 You know what I mean?
02:30:54.000 He's a billion dollar property.
02:30:56.000 He's at the top of his fucking game.
02:30:58.000 I mean...
02:30:59.000 And he looks like a superhero.
02:31:01.000 I mean, LeBron looks like a superhero.
02:31:03.000 You look at him like, good lord.
02:31:05.000 Show a photo of him like his body.
02:31:07.000 Is there any shirtless photos of LeBron?
02:31:09.000 Let me take my pants off.
02:31:10.000 You don't know any.
02:31:12.000 You won't know this because it's basketball.
02:31:16.000 Dude, look at that.
02:31:18.000 And how tall is he?
02:31:19.000 6'8", 7'8".
02:31:25.000 LeBron James' diet reveals he eats like shit, but trains.
02:31:28.000 I don't know what this is.
02:31:30.000 He eats a lot of candy, but that's when he was younger, too.
02:31:34.000 Now he's definitely on it.
02:31:38.000 He's good, too, man.
02:31:39.000 He's also slimmed down from where he was.
02:31:40.000 Back when he was younger, his first five years in the league, they argued he could be up to 300 pounds.
02:31:46.000 So is this him now?
02:31:47.000 That's him now.
02:31:47.000 He's probably close to like 260. Okay, so he definitely looks slimmer in that picture than he did in the other picture where he was lifting weights.
02:31:54.000 But that was also right off, you know, right out of, in the gym.
02:31:58.000 It says that he appears to have lost 10 to 12 pounds, it said in that photo.
02:32:02.000 So yeah, you see that photo in the gym.
02:32:05.000 Still, shredded.
02:32:07.000 Looks like an MMA fighter.
02:32:09.000 He looks like he could be like a UFC heavyweight champion.
02:32:13.000 He's shredded.
02:32:14.000 I got no problem with a professional athlete doing whatever he needs.
02:32:19.000 Yeah, well as long as they're not a fighter.
02:32:22.000 Because you're a professional.
02:32:22.000 The thing about fighters is...
02:32:24.000 No, I know that stuff.
02:32:25.000 I'm talking about like for recovery and all that stuff.
02:32:29.000 Yeah.
02:32:29.000 He looks great.
02:32:30.000 The new shit they're doing in training with people...
02:32:34.000 Yeah.
02:32:34.000 Is just, you know, I go to basketball games, and I told you, I see those athletes, that Jason kid from fucking Boston, dog, when he goes to the basket, you're not stopping him.
02:32:46.000 It's unreal how quick he is.
02:32:48.000 You watch, and he's six foot six.
02:32:51.000 These guys are super fucking athletes.
02:32:53.000 Well, it's like everything else, Joey.
02:32:55.000 They get a chance to see the people before them, and then they get better.
02:32:59.000 They get better than those people.
02:33:00.000 Like, every sport, there's always gonna be the few outliers, like Muhammad Ali.
02:33:05.000 If you took Muhammad Ali from 1967 and brought him to the heavyweight division today, he'd be fucking people up.
02:33:11.000 They wouldn't know what to do with him.
02:33:12.000 There's so many fighters he would fuck up.
02:33:14.000 But he's just a complete outlier.
02:33:18.000 Like Michael Jordan, complete outlier.
02:33:21.000 Any generation you put him in, he's going to fuck people up.
02:33:24.000 Larry Bird, complete outlier.
02:33:25.000 Any generation he's going to score from the court.
02:33:29.000 But if you get the overall...
02:33:32.000 The athletes, like UFC today is the best example of it because it's one of the clearest.
02:33:37.000 You could go to 93, 2024, and you see this massive evolution.
02:33:42.000 Massive.
02:33:43.000 You see these people that are fighting on the undercards of these fight cards, like the UFC fight cards, the fight night cards, the smaller cards they do at the Apex Center.
02:33:53.000 You're seeing world championship caliber fighters from 10 years ago.
02:33:57.000 They would probably beat a lot of world champions, and this is their UFC debut.
02:34:02.000 That's how good these guys are.
02:34:03.000 They've evolved a lot.
02:34:04.000 Everything has evolved a lot.
02:34:05.000 Everything.
02:34:06.000 It's amazing.
02:34:07.000 It's amazing, the training, when you look at them.
02:34:10.000 Did you see this past fight night, this last weekend, with Rose Namajunas?
02:34:14.000 No, no.
02:34:15.000 In the undercard, this kid, Cameron Simon, who's like one of the best guys at 135, very slick striker, South African kid, like very tough, very good kid.
02:34:28.000 He fought this dude, Peyton Talbot, and I'd never seen this guy fight before.
02:34:35.000 This kid is a motherfucker dude.
02:34:38.000 He's so good.
02:34:40.000 He's 25 years old.
02:34:42.000 He's fought like once, I think, in the UFC and once in the Contender Series.
02:34:45.000 And this is my first time watching him.
02:34:47.000 And I was like, Jesus Christ, man.
02:34:50.000 He's so fucking good.
02:34:52.000 Well, now they've been doing this since they're 12th.
02:34:54.000 Mm-hmm.
02:34:55.000 Now they're doing this since they're 12, and they're dedicated to MMA. There's MMA classes.
02:34:59.000 See if you can find that knockout.
02:35:01.000 See if the...
02:35:02.000 find the knee he would hit him with in the first round.
02:35:05.000 Like, in the beginning of the fight, he was fucking him up.
02:35:07.000 I think everything has a window.
02:35:10.000 Like, that's what we were getting to.
02:35:12.000 Like, especially with the UFC, it's...
02:35:14.000 When you get to the UFC, you have to give yourself a window.
02:35:17.000 Because after a while, that's the thing about fighting.
02:35:19.000 It'll go on forever.
02:35:21.000 Yeah, there's very few guys that are like Jim Miller.
02:35:24.000 Jim Miller still fighting at a world-class level.
02:35:27.000 Brad Tavares could still knock you the fuck out.
02:35:29.000 Oh, Brad Tavares.
02:35:30.000 That's a strong move.
02:35:31.000 He just beat Chris Weidman.
02:35:32.000 I love Brad.
02:35:33.000 And he looked fantastic.
02:35:34.000 He looked fantastic.
02:35:35.000 Yeah.
02:35:35.000 That was the leg kick.
02:35:36.000 He was kicking him.
02:35:37.000 Oh, my God.
02:35:38.000 Yeah.
02:35:39.000 Kicking the shit out of him.
02:35:40.000 Yeah.
02:35:40.000 And just looked slick.
02:35:41.000 Looked very good.
02:35:42.000 I mean, these guys.
02:35:43.000 Very good with his stand-up.
02:35:44.000 But now you got these guys.
02:35:45.000 Remember, these guys got into it in 18 when they got out of college.
02:35:48.000 They were wrestlers.
02:35:49.000 Yeah.
02:35:50.000 Brad is young, man.
02:35:51.000 That's the thing you got to realize about Brad.
02:35:53.000 Brad was thrown to the lion's den when he was in his early, early 20s.
02:35:57.000 I think Brad's only...
02:35:58.000 Brad Tavares.
02:35:59.000 I think he's only 33. Yeah, he's a kid.
02:36:02.000 He's been around forever.
02:36:03.000 He fought Yoel back in the day.
02:36:06.000 Yeah, he's fought a lot of fucking people, man.
02:36:08.000 A lot of people, man.
02:36:08.000 So those guys, but those guys come one in a dozen.
02:36:12.000 You know, longevity.
02:36:13.000 Right.
02:36:14.000 Yeah, Jim Miller's the most extreme example of it.
02:36:16.000 He fought in UFC 100, fought in UFC 200, and he's going to fight in UFC 300. Like, what the fuck, dude?
02:36:23.000 And he looks awesome.
02:36:24.000 And he still teaches?
02:36:25.000 Yeah.
02:36:25.000 Well, no, he doesn't do that anymore.
02:36:27.000 That's also what's helped him a lot.
02:36:29.000 He sold his gym.
02:36:30.000 Okay.
02:36:31.000 It was too much.
02:36:32.000 He explained it when he came on the podcast.
02:36:34.000 He's like, it's just too much work.
02:36:35.000 You're dealing with so many different things.
02:36:37.000 And so now that he could just, like, concentrate on just his camps and get ready, it's like, it's much better.
02:36:43.000 He probably still teaches some classes.
02:36:45.000 I think he enjoys teaching.
02:36:46.000 I think running the gym was the real problem.
02:36:49.000 It's a lot of work, man.
02:36:50.000 I think I'm correct.
02:36:52.000 A lot of come and go in jiu-jitsu.
02:36:53.000 Yeah!
02:36:54.000 A lot of come and go, man.
02:36:55.000 Also, you're dealing with personality issues, and if you run a business, you have to deal with people that are arguing with other people there, and you're like, oh, God.
02:37:03.000 And then this guy might be stealing money, or this guy might be doing something he's not supposed to be doing.
02:37:08.000 He said he was doing this, but he's doing that.
02:37:10.000 He's trying to cut corners.
02:37:11.000 I'm like, fuck.
02:37:13.000 And you have to deal with this and that and that and this.
02:37:15.000 The business should have to be that.
02:37:16.000 And these martial artists that open up these schools and open up like a chain of them.
02:37:20.000 And they're never at one of them.
02:37:22.000 You never know what's going on.
02:37:24.000 You never know.
02:37:25.000 Yeah, you'd have to really trust the people that are running that school for you.
02:37:29.000 They'd have to be like really well trained and a part of your family.
02:37:33.000 You know, you could pull it off.
02:37:35.000 Like the Machados have done that.
02:37:37.000 Machados have had...
02:37:39.000 There's various Machado satellite schools that are owned by Jean-Jacques Black Belts.
02:37:43.000 And they're always great.
02:37:44.000 They're great.
02:37:45.000 They're always great.
02:37:45.000 Jean-Jacques is on a different level out there.
02:37:47.000 And by me, I have the Gracies.
02:37:50.000 And they got it down to a science.
02:37:51.000 They really...
02:37:52.000 You know, I was talking to Rallo the other day.
02:37:54.000 And we were just talking.
02:37:55.000 I go, Rallo, think what's around me.
02:37:57.000 I got Tom.
02:37:59.000 I got the Silver Fox.
02:38:00.000 I got, what's his name, is an hour from me, Ricardo Almeida.
02:38:04.000 Yeah.
02:38:04.000 I got all those guys right there.
02:38:06.000 We were talking about it.
02:38:08.000 He's like, you're in heaven there.
02:38:09.000 It's a great jujitsu environment.
02:38:11.000 It's a beautiful fucking, and it's all Henzo.
02:38:13.000 Henzo, all those black belts, a silver fox, fucking...
02:38:18.000 Henzo's got an empire.
02:38:20.000 A fucking empire.
02:38:21.000 He's got guys in LA. He's got guys here.
02:38:23.000 He's got guys everywhere.
02:38:24.000 He's got schools everywhere.
02:38:25.000 He's got the school in Brooklyn now.
02:38:26.000 They're all great.
02:38:27.000 They're all great.
02:38:28.000 You always hear great things about all of his schools.
02:38:30.000 Listen, my lunchtime guy, he just took second in the Pan Ams.
02:38:34.000 That's wild.
02:38:35.000 He's great.
02:38:36.000 He's great.
02:38:37.000 He's the guy that teaches the lunchtime classes?
02:38:38.000 Yeah.
02:38:39.000 He's great.
02:38:41.000 That's awesome.
02:38:42.000 He's like a baby.
02:38:43.000 You throw like a baby.
02:38:45.000 I love him.
02:38:46.000 And he's changed the class, you know?
02:38:48.000 But what my point was that In two years that I've been there, the lunchtime class, it's a whole new set of people every 90 days.
02:38:57.000 You still got a couple brown belts that are older, they come, but it's a never-ending door.
02:39:04.000 Four people sign up, four people quit.
02:39:06.000 Three people, you know, it's one of those things.
02:39:08.000 And once you get the blue belt, they disappear.
02:39:12.000 Some of them do, yeah.
02:39:13.000 No, a high percentage of it.
02:39:15.000 Yeah, what is the number of people that go past Blue Belt?
02:39:17.000 It seems like they get happy that they have a little something, a little kind of a belt, and then they keep going.
02:39:23.000 It's hard though.
02:39:25.000 You get injured.
02:39:26.000 And you have to learn how to roll correctly.
02:39:29.000 You gotta tap.
02:39:31.000 Tapping's important.
02:39:32.000 You gotta tap to save your body.
02:39:34.000 Too many people fight out of shit that you shouldn't fight out of.
02:39:37.000 Just learn how to not be in there.
02:39:39.000 This is it.
02:39:40.000 So this is the dude.
02:39:42.000 So Cameron Simon, first of all, a high-level contender.
02:39:45.000 This is the end of the fight.
02:39:46.000 He's fucking him up.
02:39:47.000 Holy shit.
02:39:50.000 But you gotta see, like, the stand-up before that, like, in the first round is some of the most impressive shit.
02:39:56.000 I mean, he's just, he moves so good, man.
02:39:59.000 And he's got high power.
02:39:59.000 Look at this, that knee right there.
02:40:01.000 Back it up a little bit before that.
02:40:04.000 So there's a combination he catches them with.
02:40:06.000 And it's just the timing.
02:40:07.000 Like, look at the timing on this knee.
02:40:09.000 Watch this.
02:40:09.000 Boom!
02:40:11.000 And if you hear it, it sounds like a baseball bat hitting a coconut.
02:40:15.000 I mean, it's a perfectly timed knee.
02:40:17.000 And he was just so fucking devastating.
02:40:21.000 And just looked like he was having fun in there.
02:40:23.000 And this kid's 25 years old, right?
02:40:25.000 So this kid, when you look at him, he's got this very interesting personality.
02:40:31.000 You hear him talking like, okay, you're looking at a future superstar.
02:40:35.000 And there's a lot of these guys.
02:40:36.000 Look at that left hook.
02:40:37.000 Tight, tight left hook.
02:40:39.000 There's a lot of these guys right now.
02:40:41.000 There's so many people coming up right now that are so high level.
02:40:43.000 Like one, two fights into the UFC. You look at him like, good lord, that's a world championship caliber fighter.
02:40:50.000 What a fucking hard career, though.
02:40:52.000 You're right.
02:40:52.000 Oh, it's the hardest.
02:40:53.000 Football.
02:40:54.000 Last night, Tuesday night, some kid came up to me with a Houston shirt at the club, and he had number 34. Whatever.
02:41:00.000 Lawrence.
02:41:01.000 The guy, Lawrence Campbell.
02:41:03.000 Earl Campbell.
02:41:04.000 And I'm thinking about him.
02:41:05.000 He's in a fucking wheelchair.
02:41:07.000 You know, from all that running, they didn't have the technology we have now.
02:41:11.000 You know, to turn things around.
02:41:13.000 Hips and knees.
02:41:16.000 Yeah.
02:41:17.000 And that's a fucking nightmare.
02:41:18.000 But now we're learning.
02:41:19.000 You know, obviously over time and Miss Patrick studies and shit like that, we've learned more about it.
02:41:27.000 Jiu-Jitsu for me at 61, So I go to class.
02:41:31.000 I do all the drills.
02:41:32.000 I do the warm-up.
02:41:33.000 When it comes time to roll, I look around.
02:41:37.000 I pick and choose.
02:41:38.000 You know?
02:41:38.000 You have to.
02:41:39.000 Yeah.
02:41:39.000 And I know what I'm there for.
02:41:41.000 I'm not there to go to a competition.
02:41:42.000 I'm out there to be a world fighter.
02:41:44.000 Right.
02:41:45.000 You know why I go to jiu-jitsu?
02:41:46.000 For the social.
02:41:48.000 I love it.
02:41:48.000 I love it.
02:41:49.000 I love going in, getting sweaty.
02:41:51.000 I get beat up nine out of ten times.
02:41:52.000 You know that.
02:41:53.000 Yeah.
02:41:54.000 But it doesn't matter to me.
02:41:55.000 That's comedy.
02:41:56.000 You get beat up.
02:41:57.000 Right.
02:41:57.000 And you get better.
02:41:58.000 You learn how to outlast the show.
02:41:59.000 It's good for you, too.
02:42:00.000 It's good for fucking an older person, but you have to know what you're going in there for.
02:42:05.000 Right.
02:42:05.000 You're not going in there to fucking tap the blue belt or the purple belt.
02:42:08.000 Right.
02:42:09.000 You're going in there to defend yourself.
02:42:10.000 I've watched all...
02:42:11.000 Hickson is my boy.
02:42:13.000 You know, and I watch all his tapes and shit.
02:42:15.000 He does a thing about if you're thinking about going into the gym later on, this is my advice.
02:42:20.000 And I took it like a tea.
02:42:21.000 Pick two days.
02:42:23.000 Pick two days a week and go.
02:42:25.000 Stick to those two days.
02:42:27.000 I do a core class every week and I do a blue belt class every week.
02:42:31.000 That's it.
02:42:32.000 I lift weights, I ride the bike, I do all the other shit.
02:42:34.000 I box in my garage, you know?
02:42:36.000 But I enjoy it.
02:42:37.000 The process is great, Joe.
02:42:39.000 I'm not good at it.
02:42:40.000 But I go.
02:42:42.000 And some days you get a good fucking role and some days you get beat up.
02:42:46.000 But at least you're getting exercise.
02:42:47.000 I'm sweating.
02:42:48.000 I'm talking to guys.
02:42:49.000 Fun thing to do.
02:42:51.000 You're staying a little younger because you're talking to younger guys.
02:42:54.000 These guys are all cops.
02:42:55.000 Well, it's also you're in the moment.
02:42:58.000 Like, when you're doing jiu-jitsu, you're literally trying to defend your life.
02:43:01.000 And as they're choking me, I'm like, you cocksuckers.
02:43:03.000 I yell at them and shit, and they giggle.
02:43:05.000 The other day, some guy had my back, a brother.
02:43:07.000 I love this guy.
02:43:08.000 And I'm looking, and he's choking me, and I'm trying to defend the choke, and I'm trying to get him down.
02:43:11.000 And all of a sudden, I go, for a brother, you got skinny feet.
02:43:14.000 He goes, motherfucker.
02:43:17.000 I fuck with all of them, yeah.
02:43:19.000 As soon as they're going to submit me, I crack a joke out.
02:43:21.000 You start making jokes.
02:43:21.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?
02:43:23.000 I'm an old man.
02:43:23.000 What the fuck?
02:43:24.000 Get off me, you fuck.
02:43:26.000 Jesus, Joey.
02:43:30.000 That's hilarious.
02:43:30.000 And that's what it's about.
02:43:32.000 It's about a bunch of guys, a lot of older guys in the daytime.
02:43:36.000 That's great.
02:43:37.000 There's three or four guys older than me.
02:43:38.000 That's great.
02:43:39.000 There's a 67-year-old.
02:43:40.000 He's nasty, Joe.
02:43:42.000 That's awesome.
02:43:43.000 But he's a black belt in Taekwondo.
02:43:44.000 He had a Taekwondo school for all those years.
02:43:47.000 But there's a couple older guys.
02:43:49.000 There's a guy that looks just like fuck and the guy that invented electricity.
02:43:53.000 Edison?
02:43:53.000 Edison.
02:43:54.000 That's what they call him when he comes in.
02:43:56.000 He finally got a haircut so he don't look all fucked up no more.
02:43:59.000 But I fuck around with him on Mondays.
02:44:01.000 He's great.
02:44:02.000 He's a Jeet Kune Do guy.
02:44:03.000 Oh, wow.
02:44:03.000 He's done Jeet Kune Do.
02:44:04.000 You know how these old guys are fucking great.
02:44:06.000 Yeah.
02:44:07.000 It's social.
02:44:08.000 A lot of cops, you know?
02:44:12.000 It's a fun thing to do, too.
02:44:12.000 It's very fucking fun.
02:44:14.000 And it's also one of those things that while you're doing it, you can't think about anything else because it's so difficult to do.
02:44:18.000 And I think those things are good for your brain.
02:44:20.000 Doug, when you're having a rough day, like the phone's ringing, and you're like, you know what?
02:44:25.000 Fuck this.
02:44:26.000 We want this by 1. This was due at 2.30.
02:44:29.000 You know what?
02:44:29.000 Fuck you.
02:44:31.000 I'm going to jiu-jitsu.
02:44:32.000 Yeah.
02:44:33.000 You can't bother me.
02:44:34.000 I don't even bring my phone upstairs.
02:44:36.000 Also, it's so much harder than anything else you're going to do.
02:44:39.000 That everything else just seems easier.
02:44:41.000 I look at that whoop watch, and I can't believe I burned like 400 calories in the ball class.
02:44:45.000 Forget the blue belt class.
02:44:47.000 You wear a whoop while you do jujitsu?
02:44:48.000 Yeah.
02:44:49.000 Are you going to scratch people with that thing?
02:44:50.000 No, it's hidden under here.
02:44:52.000 Okay.
02:44:52.000 It's hidden.
02:44:53.000 You can put it on your arm.
02:44:54.000 Oh, you can put an arm one on, right.
02:44:56.000 That's right.
02:44:56.000 You can put the arm one on.
02:44:57.000 You can put the chest one on, you know.
02:44:59.000 And I see the people that are getting hurt.
02:45:00.000 It's the 30-year-olds that go in there to kill themselves.
02:45:04.000 They're starting from their feet.
02:45:06.000 You know, fuck all that shit.
02:45:07.000 My judo days are over.
02:45:09.000 You ain't throwing me.
02:45:10.000 It's a good way to hurt your knees.
02:45:11.000 And I'm not going to grab you either.
02:45:12.000 So, that's it.
02:45:13.000 You pass the guard.
02:45:15.000 You know, you do little things.
02:45:16.000 You fucking De La Jiva.
02:45:18.000 You know, shit like that.
02:45:19.000 And that's it, man.
02:45:20.000 You go home.
02:45:21.000 I'm not looking to be a killer.
02:45:22.000 I'm not looking to be a bodyguard.
02:45:24.000 I'm just looking to get exercise.
02:45:25.000 How much are you getting up on stage in Jersey?
02:45:28.000 Twice a week.
02:45:29.000 Yeah?
02:45:30.000 Not good enough.
02:45:30.000 Yeah, just to keep the dust off it.
02:45:33.000 But it's not good enough.
02:45:34.000 Yeah.
02:45:34.000 It's not good enough at all.
02:45:36.000 I write a lot more.
02:45:37.000 I noticed that this last year I've been giving away jokes.
02:45:41.000 I just talk to comics and go take this because I'm not going to use it.
02:45:44.000 Right.
02:45:44.000 You know, I just think of shit and I write it down.
02:45:47.000 It's fun, man.
02:45:48.000 I forgot how much fun it is to write.
02:45:51.000 It's real fun, but you've got to be in a place where you can do it all the time.
02:45:54.000 All the time.
02:45:54.000 And that's the beautiful thing about here.
02:45:56.000 All the time.
02:45:57.000 No, you got, this is, listen, this is the best scene in the country.
02:46:00.000 They're starting to open up manager's office here and fucking agencies.
02:46:04.000 I knew you were telling me that.
02:46:05.000 That's crazy.
02:46:05.000 This is gonna be a fucking utopia in a year.
02:46:08.000 Those big cities are going to be forgotten about for comedy.
02:46:11.000 Yeah, they're going to be doing comedy, but not like you're doing it down here.
02:46:15.000 Not with eight clubs around you and 16 one-nighters.
02:46:18.000 It's also, it's just exciting because it's a new thing.
02:46:22.000 Like, there was never a scene like this here before.
02:46:25.000 So now the scene's here, and so many great comics are here, and it's a new thing.
02:46:30.000 Guys are getting better, too.
02:46:31.000 They're getting better.
02:46:32.000 Did you see Derek last night?
02:46:34.000 I saw it.
02:46:34.000 Derek Poston?
02:46:36.000 No.
02:46:36.000 Did you see Ahsan?
02:46:38.000 Ahsan's improved.
02:46:39.000 Bro.
02:46:40.000 Holy fuck!
02:46:41.000 Bro.
02:46:42.000 He got a lot better.
02:46:44.000 He got a lot better.
02:46:45.000 He's confident, writes all the time, works hard.
02:46:48.000 He was on the core crew in the workout crew.
02:46:52.000 He's one of the cores.
02:46:53.000 He's always there.
02:46:54.000 Where do you have him?
02:46:54.000 Right here, in the gym.
02:46:56.000 And what time do they come?
02:46:57.000 We do it when, I don't want to say on the air, but we do it.
02:47:00.000 You do it every day?
02:47:01.000 No.
02:47:02.000 Depends.
02:47:02.000 Okay.
02:47:02.000 Different days.
02:47:04.000 We took some time off.
02:47:05.000 And you got them doing kettlebells?
02:47:06.000 I got them doing all kinds of stuff.
02:47:07.000 Pushing the sled, hitting the bags.
02:47:09.000 I got them doing Tabatas.
02:47:10.000 I do intervals on the bag.
02:47:12.000 I explain intervals from...
02:47:14.000 Tabata intervals are 20 seconds work, 10 seconds rest.
02:47:17.000 So you do a cycle of eight.
02:47:19.000 In a row?
02:47:20.000 Mm-hmm.
02:47:20.000 So I give them gloves.
02:47:21.000 And I say, don't try to be a hero.
02:47:23.000 This is what I want you to do.
02:47:24.000 This is how you throw a left hand.
02:47:26.000 This is how you throw a right hand.
02:47:27.000 I want to see you hit the bag, just like this.
02:47:29.000 You're not going to try to do it hard.
02:47:31.000 I just want you to do it constantly.
02:47:32.000 And most of them have hit a bag or something before a little bit.
02:47:36.000 And so I say, don't worry about hitting it hard.
02:47:39.000 I just want you to hit it and don't hurt yourself.
02:47:40.000 And you're going to do it for 20 seconds at a pretty fast clip.
02:47:45.000 And then you're going to rest for 10 and do 20 seconds, rest for 10 and do that for a cycle of eight.
02:47:49.000 That's good for cardio, right?
02:47:50.000 Because they do it on the bike.
02:47:51.000 They do it on the bike.
02:47:52.000 It's great for cardio.
02:47:53.000 It's one of the best ways to develop cardio is the Tabata interval for whatever reason.
02:47:57.000 I don't know why.
02:47:58.000 So we did that at the end.
02:48:00.000 So we did the kettlebell workout, and then we do the sled, and then we hit the back.
02:48:05.000 I was putting them through real workouts, and then we do sauna and cold plunge.
02:48:10.000 You know, but that all goes with being a good comic.
02:48:13.000 It's work.
02:48:13.000 You know that?
02:48:14.000 That whole workout thing.
02:48:15.000 When I wasn't doing it, you're not that good.
02:48:17.000 It's work, and it makes you feel better about yourself.
02:48:19.000 And it makes you feel better.
02:48:20.000 It makes your body feel better.
02:48:21.000 It makes your brain feel better.
02:48:22.000 It also makes you feel like you're not lazy and stagnant.
02:48:27.000 Like there's been times where I get up and for whatever reason I'm just not feeling it and I fuck off and I look at my phone and I make some phone calls and then the next thing you know I'm not getting in the cold plunge the next you know I'm not going to work and the day or I'm not going to work out before work and the days that I realize I'm doing that like stop put your phone down get in the water were the days that I was happier I always felt better if I did what I needed to do.
02:48:57.000 Because then I felt like I've already done the thing that was the hardest thing to do today.
02:49:02.000 That's how I feel, yeah.
02:49:03.000 So now I'm on a good path.
02:49:04.000 Today's on a good path.
02:49:06.000 You see what happens to me when I eat?
02:49:09.000 I gotta do everything early.
02:49:11.000 My world is early.
02:49:12.000 Early's good though.
02:49:13.000 I'm an early guy.
02:49:14.000 It's good getting it out of the way.
02:49:15.000 It also sets up the rest of your day.
02:49:18.000 Get that really physically difficult thing done early and then it sets up the rest of your day.
02:49:24.000 But the thing is, like, what I'm trying to say is, like, I'm not immune to those feelings of laziness and those feelings of procrastination.
02:49:32.000 You know, and there's a handful of days over the last few years that I've done nothing and should have, should have worked out, and I just fucked off too much, and I just did wind up doing it.
02:49:42.000 And in my mind, I was like, eh, you work out basically every day.
02:49:46.000 Like, take a day off, pussy.
02:49:47.000 But then I don't feel that good.
02:49:48.000 Then the rest of the day, I'm like, why did I do that?
02:49:50.000 Now I feel stupid.
02:49:52.000 Now I feel like I'm lazy or I'm not centered.
02:49:54.000 You know, I need to do something.
02:49:57.000 I need to do something.
02:49:57.000 For my brain as much as for my body, I need to do something every day.
02:50:01.000 I haven't slept while I'm here, you know.
02:50:02.000 Really?
02:50:03.000 Five hours, six hours.
02:50:05.000 Last night I went to bed at fucking 2. It's so fun.
02:50:08.000 We're having so much fun.
02:50:09.000 And I got up at 4.40.
02:50:11.000 Oh no.
02:50:12.000 I'm like, what the fuck, Joey?
02:50:14.000 Oh no.
02:50:15.000 I stayed up till about 6. And I hit the crib again and I got up at fucking 8 to call my daughter.
02:50:21.000 And I got up like at 9. 8.30.
02:50:23.000 I was up.
02:50:25.000 I get dressed, I roll a joint, I brush my teeth, and I fucking get out of the house.
02:50:30.000 I go for a nice walk in Austin.
02:50:33.000 You know?
02:50:34.000 You've been enjoying it here?
02:50:35.000 Very much so.
02:50:36.000 I'm looking at it.
02:50:37.000 It's a different look.
02:50:38.000 It looks completely different.
02:50:40.000 Just come down every now and again.
02:50:42.000 I am.
02:50:42.000 Yeah.
02:50:43.000 Once a month.
02:50:43.000 Coming down next month.
02:50:45.000 A few days.
02:50:45.000 And I need two tickets for that 420 show for the Alito boys.
02:50:48.000 Okay.
02:50:49.000 Let's go.
02:50:50.000 Look, I went to a restaurant I want to tell you about.
02:50:52.000 I got a dish I've been dying to tell you.
02:50:54.000 It's called Char and Red Bank.
02:50:56.000 I told you, I got two chefs at the jiu-jitsu school.
02:50:59.000 I got your boy from Steakhouse 57, the head chef there.
02:51:03.000 And I got the other, this guy from Char.
02:51:05.000 And he kept telling me, come on, come on.
02:51:07.000 It's in Red Bank, you know?
02:51:09.000 30 minutes, I don't have babysitters.
02:51:12.000 I went, Good Friday.
02:51:13.000 Big fucking mistake.
02:51:15.000 It's a steakhouse.
02:51:17.000 And I told him.
02:51:18.000 And he goes, I get it.
02:51:19.000 He goes, I'm going to hook you up.
02:51:20.000 This motherfucker gave me yellow fin tacos.
02:51:24.000 Right, because you're not supposed to eat meat on Friday.
02:51:27.000 I don't give nothing up for Lent, but I just won't eat meat, which is easy for me.
02:51:30.000 I don't give a fuck.
02:51:31.000 And I had the lobster dumplings.
02:51:34.000 And then he sent over to my wife, who doesn't give a fuck about Catholicism.
02:51:39.000 So she ordered.
02:51:41.000 But we ate so many appetizers.
02:51:42.000 She's like, Joey, I can't eat this dog.
02:51:44.000 She ordered short rib over gnocchi with a garlic sauce.
02:51:50.000 And the gnocchi just melted in your mouth.
02:51:52.000 It was tiny homemade gnocchi.
02:51:53.000 I didn't eat it that night.
02:51:55.000 I got high the next day.
02:51:56.000 And I saw it was in the refrigerator.
02:51:57.000 And I tasted it.
02:51:59.000 Joe Rogan.
02:52:00.000 I had orgasms come out of every hole in my fucking body.
02:52:03.000 You understand me?
02:52:04.000 I called him and he goes, Joey, if you want, I'll stop by.
02:52:07.000 I live right around the corner.
02:52:08.000 I'm like, don't you fucking dare.
02:52:10.000 I don't want that shit around me every...
02:52:12.000 It was so fucking good, man.
02:52:14.000 It was so fucking good.
02:52:15.000 That Il Nito's amazing.
02:52:17.000 There's something about Jersey Italian food.
02:52:20.000 It's on another level.
02:52:21.000 It's very difficult to get stuff like that out here.
02:52:23.000 I can't wait for Sunday.
02:52:25.000 To come home?
02:52:26.000 No, I'm coming home tomorrow, but Sunday, I go to Easter Sunday.
02:52:29.000 And I go to Osteria, they got this fucking, they make a sundae sauce.
02:52:33.000 $33.
02:52:35.000 Dog, $33.
02:52:37.000 A meatball this big, they give you a fucking pork rib that's in the sauce, a big stick, like a big pork rib.
02:52:45.000 They give you a brazole and a big sausage for $33.
02:52:49.000 I used to split it with my daughter.
02:52:51.000 I can't eat that whole fucking thing.
02:52:52.000 The meatball's to die for.
02:52:54.000 It's to fucking die for.
02:52:56.000 He gets pissed at me.
02:52:57.000 He's like, yeah.
02:52:58.000 You tell people about the meatball, nobody's gonna spend money on the big shit.
02:53:01.000 They come in here for the sundae sauce.
02:53:02.000 It's fucking, you know, who makes sundae sauce, Joe?
02:53:05.000 Well, that was always an Italian thing.
02:53:06.000 I don't have time.
02:53:07.000 Yeah, I don't know how to make it.
02:53:08.000 And the people, you know, they make it.
02:53:10.000 But this is no drama.
02:53:12.000 You just go down there.
02:53:14.000 Oh, I love all that shit.
02:53:17.000 Like now, I just split a plate now.
02:53:19.000 I can't eat the whole thing no more.
02:53:20.000 Those days are gone.
02:53:22.000 The meatball's so fucking good though, Joe.
02:53:27.000 Yeah, there's not a lot...
02:53:29.000 I mean, I haven't eaten at too many Italian places out here.
02:53:32.000 But there's...
02:53:33.000 I'm sure there's a bunch.
02:53:35.000 How you been to Sammy's?
02:53:36.000 I heard Sammy's is great.
02:53:37.000 You ever been there?
02:53:39.000 That's the spot that people keep talking about.
02:53:42.000 There's just some spot.
02:53:43.000 There's a place in fucking Secaucus or Rutherford.
02:53:46.000 It's owned by Special.
02:53:48.000 You eat this meatball, your heart will stop.
02:53:51.000 It's that fucking good.
02:53:53.000 But El Nido got some good Wyoming meatballs too.
02:53:56.000 Yeah.
02:53:57.000 The good ones.
02:53:58.000 Well, let's let that old, immigrant-style, East Coast, Jersey Italian food.
02:54:03.000 Well, lamb, they put everything in there.
02:54:05.000 Don't they?
02:54:05.000 Veal and the fucking meatballs.
02:54:07.000 Especially the sundae sauce, when you'd see the oils bubbling up on the surface of the pot, and the grandmother would be stirring it with a wooden spoon.
02:54:15.000 My grandmother did.
02:54:16.000 Yeah, my grandmother was the big cook.
02:54:18.000 It was insane.
02:54:19.000 My grandmother could cook.
02:54:21.000 She'd make homemade pasta, she'd have the kitchen table, flour out there, rolling everything, making it with a roller, cranking the pasta through the machine.
02:54:29.000 Look at that.
02:54:31.000 Good lord.
02:54:32.000 How's a person supposed to eat well and healthy when that's available?
02:54:36.000 Oh, that's Osteria, right?
02:54:37.000 Yeah.
02:54:38.000 That looks pretty fucking good, Joey.
02:54:41.000 Doug, they're not fucking around.
02:54:42.000 No.
02:54:42.000 But you guys aren't eating.
02:54:44.000 I gotta give credit what credit is due.
02:54:46.000 Those fucking tacos do your night.
02:54:48.000 And that's just from the truck on the street?
02:54:49.000 That's the truck on the street.
02:54:50.000 Yeah.
02:54:51.000 But guess what?
02:54:51.000 I can't get that in Jersey.
02:54:53.000 Mexican food is god-awful.
02:54:55.000 Really?
02:54:56.000 I even told one of the waitresses we were talking, I go, the Mexican food's terrible.
02:54:59.000 I go, the refried beans look like they were made from, you know, like a powder, like a mashed potato.
02:55:05.000 And the kid goes, they got those.
02:55:07.000 I go, I knew they were fucking powdered refried beans.
02:55:11.000 They have powdered refried beans?
02:55:13.000 The Mexican food is horrible.
02:55:15.000 I don't know where these Mexicans came from.
02:55:17.000 They're not apocalyptos.
02:55:18.000 The fucking food is fucking terrible.
02:55:21.000 That's the only thing I miss about LA. That and that fucking sushi.
02:55:25.000 Yeah.
02:55:26.000 I miss the fucking albacore plate with the garlic on top and the onions.
02:55:31.000 LA's got, well, had good food, but goddamn they killed so many restaurants.
02:55:34.000 I didn't even know the sushi place I was going to is dead.
02:55:36.000 Sushi Dan is dead.
02:55:38.000 Yeah, a lot of them went under.
02:55:39.000 But bro, what you've done down here is fucking, I gotta commend you, man.
02:55:43.000 That's a great club.
02:55:45.000 Like I told you, I was blown away the first night.
02:55:47.000 It's been pretty fun.
02:55:49.000 And it's a year now.
02:55:50.000 It's crazy as it seems.
02:55:52.000 It's already open a year.
02:55:53.000 And everybody's come through here.
02:55:54.000 Yeah.
02:55:55.000 Everybody's come through here.
02:55:56.000 That's crazy.
02:55:57.000 Yeah.
02:55:58.000 It's been crazy.
02:55:59.000 It's been awesome.
02:56:00.000 You did good, brother.
02:56:01.000 And we're just getting started.
02:56:02.000 And we're just getting started.
02:56:03.000 Yeah.
02:56:04.000 It's been beautiful having you down here, too.
02:56:06.000 It's been a lot of fun.
02:56:06.000 Oh, just to see what you're doing and to see the club.
02:56:10.000 There's so much enthusiasm at that club.
02:56:12.000 You know, when you walk in, people are happy.
02:56:14.000 Like I told you, I love to spectate.
02:56:16.000 I'm a spectator, bro.
02:56:18.000 I love to sit, smoke pot, and watch.
02:56:20.000 Don't say a fucking word.
02:56:22.000 And what I watched, the way the people were interacting with the people coming in and everything, it was beautiful.
02:56:28.000 I was like, there's not a prick in here.
02:56:30.000 You don't feel like, you know what I'm saying?
02:56:32.000 Yeah.
02:56:32.000 And you feel definitely safe in there.
02:56:34.000 Yeah.
02:56:35.000 Yeah.
02:56:36.000 Fucking cops.
02:56:37.000 Everybody's in there.
02:56:38.000 So it's great.
02:56:39.000 It's a great thing, man.
02:56:41.000 And it's family.
02:56:42.000 You can feel it in the air.
02:56:44.000 Yeah.
02:56:44.000 And that's what's...
02:56:45.000 There's no hang.
02:56:47.000 There's a hang, but there's no hang.
02:56:50.000 And that hang is perfect there.
02:56:52.000 Yeah.
02:56:52.000 It's perfect.
02:56:53.000 When that green room...
02:56:54.000 Dog, when I took my clothes off the first night, that clothes smelled so bad...
02:56:58.000 From all cigarettes?
02:56:59.000 Cigar, cigarettes, acid, speed, fucking...
02:57:03.000 Got any of that acid around here?
02:57:05.000 No.
02:57:06.000 You don't have none?
02:57:06.000 No.
02:57:07.000 Yes, you do.
02:57:08.000 No.
02:57:08.000 You hear that from me?
02:57:09.000 No, I wouldn't do that to you.
02:57:10.000 What about...
02:57:11.000 We got no smelling salts in Joey today?
02:57:13.000 You didn't give me none.
02:57:13.000 We always have smelling salts.
02:57:15.000 That fucking...
02:57:16.000 That Zen fucked me up before.
02:57:19.000 Yeah.
02:57:19.000 That 12 milligram?
02:57:20.000 Holy shit.
02:57:20.000 It's six.
02:57:21.000 But yeah, you took it right after we ate and you were like...
02:57:24.000 No, I was eating...
02:57:25.000 That's when I swallowed the first one at the restaurant.
02:57:28.000 On top of the sushi, so that motherfucker.
02:57:31.000 And then I had another one in my pocket.
02:57:33.000 Because the Zinz's, when you take one, sometimes you take two.
02:57:36.000 Right, they stick together.
02:57:37.000 Yeah, don't swallow them.
02:57:39.000 That's my advice to you.
02:57:40.000 Well, I've already swallowed like six of them, so it's too fucking late.
02:57:44.000 Well, no more.
02:57:45.000 Don't swallow anymore.
02:57:45.000 No, I won't swallow no more, but I gotta get some more of these zins, brother.
02:57:49.000 Alright.
02:57:49.000 I love you to death, man.
02:57:51.000 Thank you for having me down here.
02:57:53.000 Family is family.
02:57:54.000 Comedy family is comedy family.
02:57:55.000 Yeah.
02:57:56.000 And that's what these motherfuckers will never, ever understand.
02:58:00.000 The people that don't get it will not get that, because they haven't experienced it.
02:58:04.000 But we're lucky.
02:58:05.000 To cheer for each other.
02:58:06.000 Yeah.
02:58:07.000 To fucking, you know, I'm so happy for Tony and The Garden.
02:58:11.000 I'm so happy for Red Band, you know?
02:58:13.000 It's amazing.
02:58:13.000 And that's what being a comic is about, is also fucking giving love to these people and going, you know what?
02:58:19.000 You're doing good, man.
02:58:20.000 Yeah.
02:58:20.000 The girls, I love the girls.
02:58:22.000 You know, Sarah's down there this week.
02:58:24.000 She was happy to see me.
02:58:25.000 I was happy to see her.
02:58:27.000 You know, Kim's coming tonight.
02:58:29.000 So, Eleanor.
02:58:30.000 Yeah, it's been great having Eleanor.
02:58:32.000 Steve Simone.
02:58:33.000 Fucking Ron White to see him.
02:58:34.000 Brian Simpson just released his Netflix special.
02:58:38.000 Donnell was here.
02:58:39.000 Yeah, it's been amazing.
02:58:40.000 It's been amazing.
02:58:41.000 It's a great town now.
02:58:42.000 I love you.
02:58:43.000 It's really popping.
02:58:43.000 I love you too, brother.
02:58:44.000 I miss you like a motherfucker.
02:58:45.000 I miss you too, but we'll do this more often.
02:58:46.000 I'll come down here next month, and then I'll come down here in May.
02:58:49.000 Then I get too hot for Uncle Joe.
02:58:50.000 Okay, don't worry about it.
02:58:51.000 We'll take a couple months off.
02:58:52.000 And then by September, I think I can do my own residency with my own 45 minutes.
02:58:56.000 Let's go.
02:58:56.000 Let's go, Joey.
02:58:57.000 That's my plan.
02:58:58.000 Beautiful.
02:58:59.000 All right.
02:58:59.000 Thank you.
02:58:59.000 Bye, everybody.
02:59:00.000 Love you guys.