The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 Let's go.

00:00:13.000 Netflix special.

00:00:14.000 What's up?

00:00:15.000 Netflix special live from the mothership, streaming on Netflix right now.

00:00:19.000 The first special live from the mothership to be streamed on Netflix.

00:00:23.000 Yeah, man.

00:00:24.000 How's that?

00:00:24.000 It's exciting, man.

00:00:26.000 It's great, too, man.

00:00:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:00:27.000 You nailed it.

00:00:28.000 You fucking nailed it. 0.99

00:00:29.000 It's getting a good positive response from the comedy community, too. 0.99

00:00:33.000 Beautiful.

00:00:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:00:34.000 Beautiful.

00:00:35.000 Everybody's loving it.

00:00:37.000 Yeah, this is going to keep going.

00:00:38.000 Keep getting stronger now.

00:00:39.000 I know.

00:00:40.000 It's such a nice feeling, man.

00:00:41.000 It's so nice to watch this happen for you because, you know, you were one of the guys that came out here early.

00:00:46.000 You took an early risk.

00:00:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:49.000 You know, a lot of people in the beginning were like, what the fuck is everybody doing moving to Texas in the middle of the pandemic? 0.86

00:00:55.000 Yeah, but, you know, honestly, it didn't feel like that big of a risk. 0.88

00:00:59.000 Well, maybe at the time.

00:01:00.000 I don't remember, man, but it felt like an easy decision when I made it.

00:01:04.000 But it was a last minute thing.

00:01:06.000 I literally, from the time I decided to move, like I'm moving to the time I moved, I think it was like a month.

00:01:12.000 Yeah, it was quick for me too, man.

00:01:14.000 Yeah.

00:01:14.000 I mean, I came out here in May of 2020. I started looking at houses immediately.

00:01:22.000 There was a little hesitation with Mrs. Rogan.

00:01:28.000 The girls were really into it right away because when we got out here you could jump in the lake. 0.99

00:01:33.000 People were partying.

00:01:34.000 We went on a boat.

00:01:36.000 My real estate agent's a genius.

00:01:37.000 She took us out on the lake.

00:01:39.000 And she showed us, like, this is the life out here.

00:01:42.000 Like, people are having fun.

00:01:43.000 And everybody was terrified in L.A. Everybody was wearing masks outside.

00:01:48.000 And here, like, no one had masks on outside.

00:01:50.000 You go to restaurants.

00:01:52.000 And my daughters just wanted a life, a real life. 0.99

00:01:55.000 And that's back when they were, like, they were fucking with the store. 0.99

00:01:59.000 Bad. 0.96

00:02:00.000 It was so crazy for the store to be two blocks from, what's that country bar?

00:02:06.000 What is it?

00:02:06.000 Roadhouse?

00:02:07.000 Saddle Ranch.

00:02:08.000 Saddle Ranch.

00:02:08.000 It was two blocks from Saddle Ranch.

00:02:09.000 And Saddle Ranch had, you know, a hundred people out there with little dividers between them and everything.

00:02:15.000 And then the store, they tried to do the same thing, but they put comedy outside with like dividers in front of everybody and everything.

00:02:22.000 And the city was still like, no, that's live performance.

00:02:25.000 Shut it down. 0.99

00:02:27.000 We couldn't do comedy through the fucking window. 0.99

00:02:29.000 My friend's brother worked for the city and worked in the COVID department. 0.98

00:02:37.000 And one of the women who was in charge of making the decision to close down outdoor dining, he said to her, there's no evidence that outdoor dining causes a spread.

00:02:49.000 And she said, yeah, but it's about optics.

00:02:52.000 It's about optics.

00:02:53.000 So some person who none of their money is dependent upon business being open, they get that same check every week.

00:02:59.000 That check is, that's what you get. 1.00

00:03:01.000 You work for the fucking state. 1.00

00:03:02.000 This is my check. 1.00

00:03:04.000 She didn't give a fuck about just stopping millions and millions of dollars in business and stopping all these restaurants from being able to stay alive. 0.99

00:03:13.000 All these people that bust. 0.65

00:03:14.000 You ever worked in a restaurant?

00:03:16.000 Oh yeah.

00:03:16.000 That's work, man.

00:03:18.000 That's work.

00:03:19.000 When I was...

00:03:20.000 I guess I was 21. I was dating this girl who...

00:03:24.000 She got a degree in hotel management and hospitality.

00:03:29.000 Like that kind of thing.

00:03:30.000 And dude, the hours that she had to work were crazy.

00:03:33.000 Right out of college, she was working like... 0.94

00:03:36.000 All day long.

00:03:37.000 12-hour days were normal.

00:03:38.000 And if you were a manager, you'd come in on Saturday if they needed you.

00:03:41.000 You'd do everything that they ask you to do.

00:03:43.000 And you don't make any money.

00:03:45.000 That's grueling.

00:03:46.000 The amount of money that a restaurant makes.

00:03:49.000 A restaurant has to be really killing it to make money.

00:03:54.000 Generally, they're just above the part where they're losing money.

00:04:00.000 Just above.

00:04:01.000 If they're packed, they're doing great, but there's nights that they're not packed, and you've got all this food you bought.

00:04:07.000 That's how most comedy clubs are running.

00:04:09.000 Exactly.

00:04:10.000 We're living in some dreamland.

00:04:12.000 Yeah, well, yeah, Mothership doesn't have to worry about that at all. 0.99

00:04:14.000 I don't know how that happened so well.

00:04:17.000 It's crazy how it happened so well.

00:04:20.000 Yeah, every single night.

00:04:22.000 We could have never.

00:04:24.000 Brian and I, for people who don't know, we would sit in the green room of the Vulcan.

00:04:31.000 And this was the dark days where no one knew what was going to happen with live performance anywhere.

00:04:36.000 There was no touring.

00:04:38.000 Nobody was touring.

00:04:39.000 Well, Bert was touring still.

00:04:41.000 He was doing parking lots.

00:04:42.000 He was doing those drive-in shows. 0.93

00:04:43.000 He's a savage.

00:04:45.000 He was the only one. 0.96

00:04:46.000 Eliza did it too.

00:04:47.000 Yeah, him and Eliza, right.

00:04:49.000 A few other people did it too.

00:04:50.000 I don't know, man.

00:04:52.000 But Burt invented the drive-in thing.

00:04:53.000 But the point is, it was weird.

00:04:57.000 We didn't know what was gonna happen.

00:04:59.000 And then we would be talking about, we gotta build a club.

00:05:01.000 Because Ron White literally grabbed me by my shoulders. 0.99

00:05:05.000 It was like, whatever the fuck we have to do, we're opening up a fucking club here. 0.99

00:05:10.000 He goes, we're gonna fucking keep doing this. 1.00

00:05:12.000 I was like, okay. 0.98

00:05:13.000 We gotta keep doing this.

00:05:14.000 It was literally Ron White grabbing me in November of 2020. It was the first time he had been on stage.

00:05:20.000 And he crushed.

00:05:22.000 Not only did he crush, the ovation that he got when he was walking to that stage. 1.00

00:05:28.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:05:29.000 I forget who brought him up. 0.99

00:05:32.000 I think it was Duncan.

00:05:33.000 I forget who brought him up. 0.99

00:05:34.000 But whoever brought him up, the fucking ovation that he got was so insane. 0.97

00:05:40.000 You saved him too? 0.99

00:05:41.000 Because he went from retiring to now he's on the road again.

00:05:43.000 Yeah, I was telling him you're never retiring.

00:05:45.000 What are you talking about?

00:05:46.000 They invited me to his retirement party.

00:05:48.000 I go, I'm not going to your fugazi retirement party.

00:05:50.000 There's no way that's real.

00:05:52.000 You're not quitting.

00:05:52.000 You're one of the best comics alive.

00:05:54.000 You get to do one of the most amazing things.

00:05:56.000 Make people happy.

00:05:58.000 Make a bunch of people just laugh and feel so good.

00:06:03.000 And he's better than ever.

00:06:04.000 Better than ever.

00:06:05.000 Better than ever.

00:06:06.000 Sharper than ever.

00:06:07.000 Always writing and enthusiastic.

00:06:10.000 Like, he's revived.

00:06:11.000 Yeah, man.

00:06:12.000 I think dudes get to a certain age where they have this thing in their head where, oh, this is not my thing anymore.

00:06:20.000 I'm gonna just, like, settle.

00:06:21.000 Why?

00:06:22.000 Are you alive?

00:06:24.000 Are you alive? 1.00

00:06:25.000 Can you still kill? 1.00

00:06:27.000 You can still do it, right? 0.94

00:06:28.000 George Carlin died on the road, son. 1.00

00:06:30.000 He died in a hotel room like a fucking soldier. 1.00

00:06:33.000 That's true. 1.00

00:06:34.000 He was like a thousand years old, still whining about the country.

00:06:37.000 You know, and George Carlin had a career that lasted for like 50 plus years.

00:06:42.000 Yeah, and Bob Saget died on the road?

00:06:45.000 Bob Saget died tragically.

00:06:47.000 That's a horrible one, man.

00:06:48.000 Fell, blacked out, fell, and hit his head.

00:06:52.000 You know, we saw our friend Duncan the other night black out.

00:06:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:57.000 Yeah.

00:06:58.000 Duncan fainted at the Black Keys concert, and he didn't know he was fainting.

00:07:03.000 He didn't know what was going on.

00:07:04.000 And I caught it.

00:07:05.000 Red Band grabbed me.

00:07:07.000 And he goes, look, what's going on over here with Duncan?

00:07:09.000 And I got over to him and our security guy had caught him before he fell.

00:07:15.000 But I thought he tripped over this box because it was like open, you know those boxes they use for equipment?

00:07:21.000 Because we were backstage, we were in the corner, we had this dope spot to watch the show.

00:07:26.000 And when he grabbed him, when Bruce grabbed him, Duncan just seemed weird.

00:07:33.000 I grabbed him.

00:07:34.000 I'm like, you okay?

00:07:35.000 Did you get hurt?

00:07:36.000 He goes, no.

00:07:37.000 I go, did that thing fall on you?

00:07:39.000 And Bruce was like, no, he fell on it.

00:07:41.000 And I go, what happened?

00:07:42.000 He goes, I don't know.

00:07:43.000 I'm fine, though.

00:07:44.000 I'm fine.

00:07:45.000 But then I feel his body giving out in my hands.

00:07:48.000 Mm-hmm.

00:07:48.000 So I've got my hands on him because I was helping him out, but I feel him giving out.

00:07:52.000 And so I go, hey man, you okay?

00:07:53.000 Are you okay?

00:07:53.000 And so he starts slumping.

00:07:56.000 And I go, hey, let's sit you down.

00:07:59.000 Let's sit you down.

00:08:00.000 And we're trying to figure out what's going on.

00:08:02.000 And he was sober.

00:08:03.000 It wasn't a drug.

00:08:05.000 It wasn't anything like that.

00:08:06.000 And then we sit him down.

00:08:07.000 I go, are you all right?

00:08:08.000 He goes, yeah, it's so weird, man.

00:08:09.000 I just felt so weird.

00:08:11.000 All of a sudden, I just was passing.

00:08:15.000 And he goes out again.

00:08:17.000 He just goes out again right there.

00:08:18.000 And I grab him.

00:08:20.000 I go, hey, [...

00:08:21.000 And then they get EMTs.

00:08:23.000 And then this lady comes to take care of him. 0.60

00:08:26.000 And this dude comes and we carry him over to a cot.

00:08:29.000 I think he was locking out his knees.

00:08:31.000 I don't know what it was.

00:08:33.000 So you know what was weird is that we haven't talked about this since that happened.

00:08:36.000 Yeah.

00:08:37.000 Well, I talked about it with him.

00:08:39.000 I don't know if he knows we're going to talk about it on the podcast.

00:08:43.000 Oh yeah, he probably doesn't want us to talk about it.

00:08:44.000 You think so?

00:08:45.000 I don't know.

00:08:46.000 Should we not talk about it?

00:08:47.000 I don't know.

00:08:48.000 Let's put a placeholder in there. 0.91

00:08:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:08:51.000 Okay.

00:08:51.000 How did I get to that point though?

00:08:55.000 We talking about drugs?

00:08:57.000 No.

00:08:57.000 We talking about...

00:08:58.000 Blacking out?

00:09:00.000 Oh, Bob Saget.

00:09:01.000 Oh, Bob Saget down. 0.99

00:09:02.000 So Bob Saget just fainted, which fucking happens, man. 0.98

00:09:07.000 I mean, there's a lot of people that want to blame it on the vaccine and blame it on this and that. 0.99

00:09:12.000 Maybe.

00:09:13.000 But also, people faint, unfortunately.

00:09:16.000 I've seen people faint stone-cold sober.

00:09:19.000 Tony Hinchcliffe fainted one night at the Comedy Store so bad he banged his head.

00:09:23.000 And everybody was really worried about him.

00:09:26.000 Just fainted.

00:09:27.000 You know, it happens.

00:09:28.000 I fainted in boot camp. 1.00

00:09:30.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:09:31.000 Yeah, right after them telling us not to lock out our legs, I wasn't listening. 0.99

00:09:36.000 I locked out my legs.

00:09:37.000 Woke up like, everybody's over you.

00:09:39.000 It's like time travel.

00:09:40.000 You were explaining this to me, but it didn't make any sense to me, the locking out the legs thing.

00:09:45.000 Yeah, if you're standing still for a long period of time and you fully extend your knees, it cuts off circulation. 0.98

00:09:58.000 What a dumb feature in human beings. 0.95

00:10:04.000 The medical name is orthostatic posture syncope. 1.00

00:10:10.000 Happens at churches, graduations, weddings, or at events when standing a long time.

00:10:14.000 More common if one keeps the knees locked.

00:10:17.000 This pools the blood of the leg veins.

00:10:19.000 A person who stands long enough in one place will faint. 1.00

00:10:21.000 Holy shit! 0.99

00:10:23.000 I thought that was a myth! 1.00

00:10:24.000 Nah, I've seen it happen a lot.

00:10:26.000 That's crazy!

00:10:27.000 Multiple people.

00:10:27.000 I would have argued with that to the end of time.

00:10:30.000 I was like, no, no, I'm not fainting.

00:10:32.000 If I lock my legs out, I'm not fainting.

00:10:34.000 I am not fainting.

00:10:36.000 It varies.

00:10:36.000 Some people don't.

00:10:38.000 I think if you have really good circulation...

00:10:41.000 I blacked out once, and it was so embarrassing.

00:10:45.000 Was it from just standing?

00:10:46.000 No, I was in a FA-18 going six and a half Gs.

00:10:51.000 Well...

00:10:52.000 Well, that's kind of a humblebragger.

00:10:53.000 Well, no, no, no, because I got through more Gs.

00:10:56.000 I got through seven and a half Gs.

00:10:58.000 We did seven and a half, and I was on the verge of blacking out.

00:11:02.000 And first of all, these pilots, these pilots, they're not using gravity suits.

00:11:06.000 And those Air Force and Navy pilots that fly those jets, those guys are jacked, dude.

00:11:11.000 They have to be really fit, because part of the thing is forcing blood into your brain. 0.83

00:11:17.000 So while you're steering this fucking insane vehicle, dude, when you're in one of those things and you realize what they can do... 0.67

00:11:24.000 And he took me for a ride. 0.99

00:11:26.000 We went through the mountains.

00:11:27.000 He's going...

00:11:28.000 I mean, we're only like 100, 200 feet off the ground. 1.00

00:11:33.000 This fucking dude is expertly piloting this thing through trenches and shit. 0.99

00:11:38.000 It was wild. 1.00

00:11:39.000 It was terrifying.

00:11:40.000 But then he was explaining to me, okay, they take you through this whole training course with the Blue Angels, and then he's explaining to me, okay, now when you hit the high Gs, you've got to grab onto your straps, like where your legs are, and they grab onto the joystick.

00:11:55.000 But whatever you're grabbing onto, you grab onto and you do a thing called hooking.

00:11:59.000 So you go like this, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot.

00:12:02.000 And you're forcing blood into your head to stay conscious.

00:12:06.000 And then the gravity, the g-force, is pushing down on you and your consciousness is like elevator doors.

00:12:14.000 And you go like...

00:12:15.000 So I'm doing this.

00:12:18.000 And I hear him doing it.

00:12:20.000 And I'm like, oh my god, he's experiencing what I'm experiencing too.

00:12:25.000 And flying.

00:12:25.000 And I thought he's maybe immune to it by now, right?

00:12:29.000 No, he's going, hoot, hoot, hoot.

00:12:31.000 And I'm going, oh my god, this is insane.

00:12:35.000 Just the physical demands that it takes to fly one of those things.

00:12:39.000 Like, you have a car that handles well.

00:12:44.000 You have a nice car.

00:12:45.000 When you take turns in that car, you know how your body kind of goes sideways a little bit and you need to correct a little if you're really going fast.

00:12:52.000 I mean, they're really, they handle so flat, but you feel the G's. 0.99

00:12:56.000 You feel the thing when you're turning.

00:12:58.000 Imagine that times I don't know what the volume is.

00:13:02.000 But when this thing is going, what is it, 500 miles an hour?

00:13:06.000 200 feet off the ground?

00:13:08.000 Is it pushing from everywhere?

00:13:09.000 Bro, I don't know.

00:13:11.000 It's just so immense.

00:13:12.000 The pressure's so immense.

00:13:14.000 So I got through that, and then we did this other turn that was not as many Gs.

00:13:22.000 Four and a half or something like that?

00:13:24.000 It wasn't nearly as many, but I didn't hook.

00:13:26.000 I didn't do the thing.

00:13:27.000 I thought I was gonna be fine.

00:13:28.000 And I just blacked out and threw up.

00:13:31.000 Oh, man.

00:13:33.000 So I got through the harder part.

00:13:35.000 I got through the harder part and I just... 0.99

00:13:37.000 Fucking slacked off. 0.96

00:13:38.000 I think I was so blown away by the experience, so blown away by what it feels like when you're inside one of those things and what they're capable of doing. 0.99

00:13:48.000 It's so mind-blowing.

00:13:51.000 It changes your idea of what a thing can do.

00:13:55.000 Look, if you're in your car, especially your car, your car's fast.

00:14:00.000 It handles well. 1.00

00:14:02.000 When you're in your car, you have a completely different sense of what a car can do than if you're in like a 1970 pickup truck with a shitty six-cylinder engine and fucking... 1.00

00:14:12.000 Your car is going... 0.99

00:14:15.000 It's gone.

00:14:17.000 Now when you get in a Tesla, it's that times five.

00:14:21.000 Because Teslas are insane.

00:14:23.000 They don't make any noise, and they go zero to 60 in 1.9 seconds.

00:14:27.000 So it's just like this.

00:14:29.000 The car disappears.

00:14:30.000 Now that...

00:14:32.000 Times, hundreds, is what this jet's doing. 0.95

00:14:39.000 It's so fucking fast! 0.80

00:14:42.000 And did you tell them to put a little extra on it? 0.98

00:14:44.000 No!

00:14:44.000 I said, let's go, brother, let's go!

00:14:47.000 He was like, you ready to do this? 0.99

00:14:48.000 I'm like, let's fucking do this! 0.99

00:14:49.000 I was in. 0.99

00:14:50.000 I was in.

00:14:51.000 I was like, this is what these guys do?

00:14:52.000 I want to experience it.

00:14:53.000 Take me for the real ride.

00:14:55.000 And it is a ride, dude.

00:14:58.000 It changes your reference points. 0.99

00:15:02.000 Imagine the fucking ego you have to have to be that kind of pilot. 1.00

00:15:05.000 Well, they're all men. 1.00

00:15:07.000 These are men.

00:15:09.000 Men.

00:15:10.000 These are like jacked men who are like real friendly and super polite.

00:15:14.000 And they always drink their water and they always get their pull-ups in.

00:15:18.000 These guys are men.

00:15:20.000 And they have a full gym set up there.

00:15:23.000 These guys are in shape constantly.

00:15:24.000 You do not get out of shape if you're doing that.

00:15:27.000 You cannot get out of shape.

00:15:29.000 It's too hard.

00:15:31.000 Bro, it's bananas how hard it is. 1.00

00:15:33.000 You miss one hook, you dead. 1.00

00:15:34.000 You're dead. 1.00

00:15:35.000 And you're gonna have to eject and you're gonna give up that you crashed a one billion dollar jet or whatever the fuck those things cost? 1.00

00:15:44.000 Didn't somebody crash recently? 0.74

00:15:46.000 There's a couple crashes.

00:15:47.000 There was one where a guy had to eject like it lost power or something like that.

00:15:52.000 So he ejects and it slams into the mountains of North Carolina.

00:15:56.000 It was crazy.

00:15:57.000 Yeah, just ran out of gas and slammed in the mountains.

00:16:00.000 But the guy parachuted down, I believe, in that one.

00:16:03.000 There was another one more recent, before that, rather, not as recent, where there was this crazy, fiery crash, and they were doing tests.

00:16:13.000 And the guy lost control of the jet.

00:16:16.000 Bro, you could lose control of one of those things.

00:16:18.000 No warranty.

00:16:18.000 Dude, I'm telling you, when you're in it, it's not what I thought.

00:16:22.000 I thought you're like, just fucking spirit. 0.99

00:16:25.000 No, it's the physical force on your body. 1.00

00:16:28.000 It's insane.

00:16:30.000 Insane.

00:16:31.000 There's no way I would do it for a living. 0.99

00:16:32.000 That's why the UFO shit is so perplexing. 0.99

00:16:36.000 Because whatever those things are, if they're ours, nobody's in them. 0.99

00:16:41.000 No fucking chance. 0.99

00:16:42.000 No chance. 0.99

00:16:43.000 Nobody's in those things.

00:16:44.000 Because you would be turned into Jell-O. Like that.

00:16:47.000 From changing directions so quickly?

00:16:48.000 What they're doing is moving at a...

00:16:51.000 What was it like that they estimated the Tic Tac to go...

00:16:55.000 I think it was 13,000 Gs.

00:16:58.000 Something insane where it moves so fast because it went from Supposedly went from above our atmosphere, which is like above 50,000 feet down to like 50 feet in a second And didn't crash not only didn't crash stopped dead and hovered They're like what what can do that and what happens to the people that are in that you're gone,

00:17:21.000 bro You're missed your pink mist.

00:17:24.000 You're like those people in that submarine You just splat. 1.00

00:17:29.000 Speaking of that shit, I just watched a YouTube video about another fucking incident. 1.00

00:17:36.000 What's the name of it? 1.00

00:17:37.000 Boeing?

00:17:37.000 No, it wasn't Boeing.

00:17:38.000 This was a long time ago.

00:17:40.000 This was a mining rig.

00:17:45.000 Where all the guys got sucked through a door.

00:17:49.000 Oh.

00:17:50.000 Like a door was cracked.

00:17:53.000 Actually, only one guy died that way.

00:17:56.000 But because that door got cracked, it killed everybody inside.

00:17:59.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:18:00.000 You know, like that deep sea, especially when it was new, that deep sea mining shit. 1.00

00:18:05.000 Those guys have to live... 1.00

00:18:10.000 Oh my god.

00:18:12.000 Sucked into an oil pipe.

00:18:13.000 Oh my god.

00:18:15.000 No, this isn't it, but still.

00:18:17.000 Jesus Christ, sucked into an oil pipe? 1.00

00:18:19.000 Yeah, some of these people, because they would, what the fuck? 1.00

00:18:22.000 Did you see that one where that sinkhole opened up in the bottom of a pool? 0.99

00:18:26.000 Of a swimming pool?

00:18:27.000 Yeah.

00:18:27.000 The whole pool drained and people got sucked into the sinkhole and died.

00:18:33.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:18:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:35.000 When did this happen?

00:18:35.000 I don't know.

00:18:38.000 Israel? 1.00

00:18:38.000 Bro, sinkholes are crazy. 1.00

00:18:43.000 Sinkholes are crazy. 1.00

00:18:44.000 And they're everywhere.

00:18:45.000 They're everywhere.

00:18:46.000 Some of them, the weird thing is some of them, they look like someone cored the earth.

00:18:52.000 Like they're circular.

00:18:54.000 So look at this. 1.00

00:19:01.000 A hole opens in the bottom of the fucking pool. 1.00

00:19:05.000 It starts spreading. 1.00

00:19:08.000 Did people go in there?

00:19:09.000 Yeah, people went in there, man. 1.00

00:19:11.000 Bro, that shit is deep. 1.00

00:19:13.000 Oh yeah, you gone. 1.00

00:19:14.000 Look at this.

00:19:15.000 How crazy must that have feel?

00:19:16.000 To see the thing just implode in the bottom?

00:19:18.000 And a hole open up?

00:19:20.000 Like a curse was put on the pool?

00:19:22.000 And what is my man doing right here? 0.99

00:19:24.000 No one knows what the fuck to do, man. 0.93

00:19:26.000 Yeah, but that dude, he's looking like he gonna reach in there and grab something. 0.97

00:19:29.000 Because he's trying to think where his family is.

00:19:31.000 Oh, well, yeah.

00:19:33.000 They gone, buddy.

00:19:34.000 People got fallen. 0.99

00:19:35.000 I mean, how deep is that fucking thing? 0.99

00:19:38.000 If you get sucked into that with all that water... 1.00

00:19:40.000 Yeah, you gone.

00:19:41.000 Oh my god.

00:19:43.000 That's terrifying.

00:19:44.000 And the thing is, there's no way that it's smooth.

00:19:46.000 Oh, you're dead on the way down.

00:19:48.000 You're dead on the way down. 0.99

00:19:49.000 You're getting your face bashed in. 1.00

00:19:51.000 Look at those edges and shit. 0.99

00:19:52.000 Did you see that one where that hole opened up? 1.00

00:19:55.000 That's my biggest fear.

00:19:57.000 I don't want to die where I can't move.

00:20:01.000 What do you call it?

00:20:02.000 With rocks crushing your head.

00:20:04.000 Drowning.

00:20:04.000 Just any kind of closed space where they just take my space.

00:20:08.000 Yeah, claustrophobia.

00:20:09.000 I just told the CIA how to torture me. 0.94

00:20:11.000 They already know how to torture you, bro. 0.62

00:20:13.000 I'm taking all the secrets.

00:20:13.000 They just checked your Twitter and ran through an algorithm.

00:20:16.000 They know how to torture you.

00:20:18.000 What was that one, Jamie, where a hole opened up that was so big?

00:20:22.000 It was circular.

00:20:24.000 It looked fake.

00:20:25.000 We had confirmed that it was real, even though it looked really bizarrely fake.

00:20:30.000 It looked so fake, it looks like CGI. What is it?

00:20:36.000 We're going to pull it up.

00:20:37.000 You all right?

00:20:41.000 Give me a second.

00:20:42.000 Okay, you know it is, right?

00:20:45.000 That's a terrifying way to go though.

00:20:46.000 The earth just gives out from under you.

00:20:48.000 Yeah, and I will give up immediately.

00:20:50.000 I went to Pompeii when I was in Italy, and that's why.

00:20:55.000 So wait a minute, it's still there?

00:20:57.000 Yeah, you can go there.

00:20:58.000 How do you know they let people walk through it?

00:21:00.000 Oh yeah, you can walk through it.

00:21:02.000 It's like a museum.

00:21:03.000 You can see where these people lived.

00:21:06.000 They've uncovered most of it.

00:21:07.000 They uncover people, and they have the people on display.

00:21:11.000 And the people are just like stone.

00:21:14.000 They just got impregnated with ash.

00:21:17.000 And all that's left is their form.

00:21:21.000 But why go into that pose?

00:21:24.000 Because it just overcame them like a wave.

00:21:28.000 You don't understand what a volcano eruption is like.

00:21:32.000 Ice Cube's the only reason I know what pyroclastic flow is.

00:21:35.000 What is that?

00:21:35.000 What a great lyric.

00:21:37.000 I know, right? 1.00

00:21:37.000 Ice Cube's got some great fucking lyrics. 1.00

00:21:40.000 That's it. 1.00

00:21:40.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:21:41.000 That's a real sinkhole, bro.

00:21:45.000 How insane is that?

00:21:46.000 It looks like someone took an apple core to the earth.

00:21:49.000 Look how smooth it is.

00:21:51.000 It seems like the sort of thing they should be able to predict, though.

00:21:53.000 No, they can't, though, man, because there's underwater currents and streams and rivers.

00:21:58.000 We can't keep an accurate assessment of exactly what's going on under the surface and what kind of erosion is taking place and what kind of cavities are everywhere.

00:22:08.000 That's like a gateway to hell.

00:22:11.000 That's like a movie.

00:22:13.000 I might be off about this, but apparently everything behaves like a liquid.

00:22:19.000 Hold on.

00:22:19.000 It says it's created by humans.

00:22:21.000 I've got to figure out a way to get past it.

00:22:22.000 Okay.

00:22:23.000 Sign up for it if you have to.

00:22:25.000 Yeah, it was like everything behaves like a liquid.

00:22:28.000 Solids just do it on a slower scale.

00:22:30.000 All the little fundamental parts of it are moving like liquid dust.

00:22:35.000 You know how you know that?

00:22:36.000 Earthquakes.

00:22:37.000 You ever been in an earthquake?

00:22:38.000 Oh yeah.

00:22:39.000 It feels like the earth became like you were on a raft.

00:22:42.000 That's another part of the reason why I left California. 0.99

00:22:44.000 Everyone was living there acting like that shit wasn't on the way. 0.99

00:22:48.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:22:49.000 That shit's overdue, bro. 1.00

00:22:51.000 And it's gonna fuck shit up. 1.00

00:22:53.000 It's gonna fuck shit up in an incomprehensible way. 0.99

00:22:56.000 I got to LA in 94, and it was right after the earthquake. 0.99

00:23:00.000 And I got to see giant sections of the highway that had collapsed on top of cars.

00:23:05.000 You could see it.

00:23:07.000 The highways were collapsed right in front of you.

00:23:09.000 You could see where they collapsed.

00:23:10.000 And I was like, I am never going that way.

00:23:13.000 Whatever needs to be done that way, I'm going all the way the fuck around.

00:23:17.000 I am not going to be on the bottom of that thing.

00:23:19.000 I don't even want to be on the top and ride it out.

00:23:21.000 I think you'll die that way too. 1.00

00:23:23.000 But the people on the bottom are dead as fuck. 1.00

00:23:26.000 They're definitely gone. 1.00

00:23:27.000 Diggity dead as fuck. 1.00

00:23:28.000 That's a terrible way to die. 1.00

00:23:30.000 Or to be in some building that collapses on top.

00:23:32.000 Some of the bridges would fall off and people would just drop.

00:23:36.000 You'd see the cars just drop.

00:23:38.000 Bro, that's what happened in Baltimore.

00:23:39.000 Bro, oh yeah. 1.00

00:23:41.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00

00:23:42.000 Fuck being on that bridge. 1.00

00:23:44.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:23:45.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:23:46.000 In a place where there's earthquakes? 1.00

00:23:48.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:23:50.000 And how about, bro, that's Taiwan, right? 1.00

00:23:52.000 Taiwan just had a big-ass earthquake.

00:23:54.000 7.5.

00:23:55.000 When did that happen?

00:23:56.000 Just now.

00:23:57.000 Just like a couple days ago.

00:23:59.000 Wow.

00:24:00.000 Look at that.

00:24:00.000 Look at that building, man.

00:24:02.000 I mean, the fact that it's even still up is kind of crazy.

00:24:04.000 And, bro, what kind of building goes it got in Taiwan? 0.99

00:24:11.000 Damn, all these buildings fucking stood to... 0.99

00:24:14.000 Yeah, a lot of buildings stood, but a lot of buildings didn't. 0.99

00:24:16.000 See, the whole thing with buildings, like if you make a building in California, you have earthquake regulations.

00:24:23.000 You have to make your building sturdy in a way that's supposed to be able to tolerate at least a little bit of earthquake.

00:24:28.000 Yeah, but how did they know you didn't until everybody did?

00:24:32.000 I had a problem with a house I had once.

00:24:34.000 And the contractors had cut corners all over the place.

00:24:38.000 We didn't realize it until we moved in. 0.99

00:24:40.000 And then it became a real problem, a real pain in the ass. 1.00

00:24:42.000 You know, it's like, who the fuck? 1.00

00:24:43.000 Is somebody on the take? 0.99

00:24:45.000 How does somebody not catch all this stuff?

00:24:48.000 But it's just they don't.

00:24:49.000 They just don't have the time.

00:24:50.000 The regulators don't have the time.

00:24:52.000 There's not enough money to go and check everybody. 1.00

00:24:54.000 That's why when people say you don't need regulation with construction, I'm like, listen, bitch, you need that shit. 1.00

00:25:00.000 Those dudes are shady. 1.00

00:25:01.000 If you don't, it's a countdown to a building fall apart.

00:25:05.000 I should be real clear.

00:25:06.000 I know some great guys that are contractors.

00:25:08.000 I know some awesome people that build houses and build buildings, and they're great people, and they're super ethical.

00:25:14.000 But I've also met so many shady ones.

00:25:16.000 I don't know any good ones.

00:25:18.000 They're all...

00:25:19.000 No, I'm just kidding.

00:25:19.000 No, no.

00:25:20.000 I think it's like 3 out of 10 are shady.

00:25:23.000 That's what I think.

00:25:24.000 At least somewhat shady. 0.99

00:25:26.000 And it's just fucking... 0.99

00:25:27.000 It's a hard world to navigate if you don't know somebody. 0.99

00:25:30.000 You know, if you know a guy and he can tell you, I got a fucking great contract.

00:25:34.000 He's an awesome guy.

00:25:35.000 You'll love him.

00:25:36.000 And you're like, whew!

00:25:37.000 Okay, now I'm in business with someone I'd really like to see.

00:25:40.000 I like that.

00:25:41.000 Yeah, I mean, well, it's a business where... 1.00

00:25:44.000 The only way for you to make more money is to fuck over your customer. 0.99

00:25:48.000 To make more money than you're supposed to. 1.00

00:25:50.000 Right.

00:25:50.000 After you've already agreed on the money, the only other way for you to make more money...

00:25:55.000 You're not getting tipped at the end.

00:25:56.000 I know.

00:25:57.000 It's almost like there's a fine line between someone who charges too much, but they do an amazing job.

00:26:02.000 I'd rather deal with that person.

00:26:04.000 I'd rather deal with that person as well.

00:26:05.000 I want someone to be...

00:26:07.000 I want them to be compensated for their work, and I want them to feel proud of what they do.

00:26:12.000 I have a friend who's a carpenter, and he'll talk about buildings. 0.99

00:26:15.000 He'll show me pictures and shit. 0.98

00:26:17.000 It's like, this is a beautiful house that this guy created. 0.99

00:26:20.000 And for him, it's like a bit that killed.

00:26:23.000 Yeah, it's like a bit.

00:26:24.000 It's like, look at this house we made for this guy.

00:26:26.000 And he's showing me the pictures.

00:26:27.000 I'm like, man, that's incredible.

00:26:28.000 You know what the problem, too, is?

00:26:30.000 Is when you're...

00:26:31.000 Especially when you talk about hiring people to build a house for you.

00:26:35.000 They know how much money you're working with.

00:26:38.000 So they know they can squeeze you here, squeeze you there, you know?

00:26:42.000 Yeah, they definitely, in some cases, they do.

00:26:44.000 They know what they can get away with and what they can't.

00:26:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:47.000 When people think you rich, they always charge extra.

00:26:52.000 Some people do, but some people don't.

00:26:54.000 And the people that don't, you really appreciate.

00:26:56.000 Some people give you free stuff.

00:26:57.000 Yeah, but there are definitely people that try to take advantage of you, and it's kind of gross.

00:27:01.000 It's like, come on, man.

00:27:03.000 Yeah, but I think people don't know better.

00:27:05.000 They've got to know better.

00:27:06.000 They just...

00:27:07.000 There's a weird...

00:27:08.000 That's a weird...

00:27:09.000 If you're charging someone more because you think the person's more successful, you're doing this weird thing like they owe you more.

00:27:16.000 Like, they don't care.

00:27:17.000 Like, this is like, come on.

00:27:18.000 We're just supposed to be people.

00:27:19.000 Like, do you have a charge for your goods and services?

00:27:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:22.000 That's like...

00:27:22.000 You know what it is?

00:27:23.000 That's like people that think you owe them your privacy.

00:27:26.000 Well, this...

00:27:27.000 Yeah.

00:27:27.000 They'll run up to your family at Disneyland.

00:27:30.000 Right, right.

00:27:30.000 Like, hey, man, I don't mean to interrupt, but you're interrupting.

00:27:32.000 Yeah.

00:27:33.000 Yeah.

00:27:33.000 With my kids.

00:27:34.000 I get how people just think this is their one chance to say hi.

00:27:37.000 That's what it is.

00:27:38.000 That's what it is. 1.00

00:27:39.000 Like, Brian Simpson, oh shit. 0.99

00:27:40.000 Is there one chance? 1.00

00:27:42.000 And I get it.

00:27:42.000 It's just like sometimes you can't do it.

00:27:44.000 But it's like when you see, it's almost like when you see Indiana Jones sitting there with the bag trying to swap it out real quick.

00:27:50.000 You can just leave it there.

00:27:52.000 Yeah.

00:27:52.000 Indiana.

00:27:53.000 Get the fuck out of there. 1.00

00:27:54.000 Yeah, but I get it. 1.00

00:27:55.000 You're a professor. 1.00

00:27:56.000 It's a lot of pressure of like, but this is my last chance to fucking fuck those rules. 1.00

00:28:00.000 Yeah, I get that. 1.00

00:28:02.000 But, you know, it's a price that you pay.

00:28:07.000 Price of fame?

00:28:09.000 Yeah, this weird life.

00:28:10.000 It's a price you pay.

00:28:11.000 What a great life, though.

00:28:12.000 Well, listen, we are the luckiest people alive.

00:28:15.000 We get to do what we love to do, and it's fun, and we get to hang out with each other.

00:28:19.000 I laugh so much in the Mothership Green Room.

00:28:23.000 It really is, like, it's the place I laugh the most.

00:28:27.000 Me too.

00:28:28.000 Yeah.

00:28:29.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:28:31.000 Especially after sets.

00:28:33.000 You know?

00:28:33.000 Before sets.

00:28:34.000 Between shows?

00:28:35.000 Between the late, early show and the late show is the best time.

00:28:38.000 Yeah, because we're primed.

00:28:39.000 We've already gotten off stage.

00:28:41.000 Especially if Tony's had a good set.

00:28:43.000 Yeah.

00:28:45.000 He gets the ball rolling.

00:28:47.000 Yeah, he's not upset at anybody. 0.99

00:28:49.000 Can you fucking believe this? 0.99

00:28:53.000 He is a firebrand. 1.00

00:28:54.000 Let me tell you.

00:28:55.000 Bro, him and Lucas are endless.

00:28:57.000 When him and Lucas start roasting each other, it's endless.

00:29:00.000 It's endless. 1.00

00:29:01.000 They never run out of shit to talk about. 1.00

00:29:03.000 I thought David Lucas has proven to me that there's literally infinite ways to call someone gay. 0.99

00:29:11.000 I don't think he's ever going to get to the last one.

00:29:15.000 He just finds different references.

00:29:18.000 Different references.

00:29:21.000 Yeah, it's just the two of them just laughing and going at each other.

00:29:24.000 I swear to God, when I'm a guest on Kill Tony and David and Tony are roasting each other, it's harder than I ever laugh at anything.

00:29:33.000 Because it's in the moment, and I know they're slinging.

00:29:36.000 They're shooting from the hip. 0.97

00:29:37.000 They're just using their brain, you know, and killing each other.

00:29:41.000 Sometimes we get a little private one in the green room.

00:29:43.000 Yes, we get those all the time.

00:29:45.000 We got that last night.

00:29:46.000 But it's just the reaction.

00:29:48.000 It's so fun, man. 1.00

00:29:51.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:29:51.000 We're so lucky that Kill Tony's here, too. 1.00

00:29:54.000 Dude, that show is so important.

00:29:57.000 It's so important.

00:29:58.000 Just to let people know, like, it's just about being funny.

00:30:02.000 I know there's all this other stuff that gets wrapped up into it because you're trying to establish your identity, and you're trying to let people know how you feel about things, and you want to make sure everybody knows you're on the right side, but really, what you should be doing is just doing comedy.

00:30:17.000 Do comedy.

00:30:18.000 And if you figure out a way to make your points hilarious, great.

00:30:22.000 Yeah, make all the points in the world.

00:30:24.000 But they gotta be funny.

00:30:25.000 And when you do Kill Tony, you have one minute.

00:30:28.000 You've got one minute.

00:30:29.000 And it sort of establishes an ideal in these young comics minds that, hey, it's really just about making these people laugh.

00:30:38.000 And if I can get good enough where I can make my ideas funny and I can make these people laugh with ideas, that's like what you do. 0.99

00:30:46.000 That's like black belt shit. 1.00

00:30:47.000 Well, it kills me that... 1.00

00:30:49.000 Because the amount of balls it takes for, the amount of people that go on Kill Tony and it's their first time doing comedy ever, I'm like, bro, that's a hell of a way to do your first open mic is in front of millions of people. 0.92

00:31:02.000 Yeah, that's a crazy way to do an open mic.

00:31:04.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:31:06.000 But if you can do it, wow, what a feeling that must be.

00:31:09.000 And we've seen people do it.

00:31:11.000 We've seen people change their lives.

00:31:12.000 Yeah, if you nail it.

00:31:13.000 Bro, William Montgomery is killing it on the road right now. 0.68

00:31:16.000 He's killing it.

00:31:17.000 He's selling out.

00:31:18.000 He's doing a whole hour.

00:31:20.000 We saw him when Hans is killing it.

00:31:24.000 We saw William when he had to have notes on stage.

00:31:27.000 And remember, we kept telling him, you can't have notes on stage.

00:31:30.000 You can't hold your notes and read them.

00:31:33.000 And some people were saying, no, that's a part of his act.

00:31:35.000 I go, no, no, it's holding him back.

00:31:37.000 Because on Kill Tony, he doesn't have the notes and he comes out and stares the audience down and he's dangerous and he's weird.

00:31:43.000 I'm like, that's you when you're at your best.

00:31:45.000 He's like, I'm worried I'm gonna forget my jokes.

00:31:47.000 I go, you're not gonna forget your jokes.

00:31:48.000 You do them every night.

00:31:50.000 You're a professional comedian.

00:31:52.000 This is part of the thing you have to learn.

00:31:54.000 Like, you can't race in Le Mans with training wheels on.

00:31:58.000 You can't. 0.98

00:31:59.000 Yeah, Williams, he's been on a fucking tear lately. 1.00

00:32:01.000 He's killing it! 1.00

00:32:02.000 Yeah.

00:32:03.000 You know, when the Black Keys came into town, they're huge William Montgomery fans.

00:32:09.000 And that's what's so crazy.

00:32:10.000 So he got a shout-out at a post-fight interview.

00:32:13.000 Yes!

00:32:14.000 Yeah, Dustin Poirier.

00:32:15.000 Dustin Poirier.

00:32:15.000 Yeah, then the Black Keys are huge William fans.

00:32:18.000 Yeah, he did our show that night specifically because they requested him.

00:32:23.000 Oh, wow.

00:32:24.000 Yeah, the show is full.

00:32:26.000 But I was like, yeah, let's go.

00:32:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:29.000 They need to see this. 1.00

00:32:30.000 Everybody loves that motherfucker. 1.00

00:32:31.000 He's awesome. 0.99

00:32:32.000 He's awesome, and he's so unique.

00:32:34.000 There's only one William Montgomery.

00:32:36.000 That's a unique dude.

00:32:37.000 He's so busy, I never really see him.

00:32:38.000 Every time he hugs me, I'm worried he's going to stab me.

00:32:41.000 He gives you the weirdest hugs. 0.87

00:32:42.000 They're a hug like he's thinking about stabbing you.

00:32:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:46.000 I think he's like...

00:32:48.000 You know how apes don't have medium twitch muscle fibers?

00:32:51.000 I think he missing...

00:32:52.000 So they can either do it as gentle as possible or full strength.

00:32:59.000 He's got like eight shoulders.

00:33:00.000 Maybe he's primitive.

00:33:02.000 Maybe he doesn't have the ability to give you a nice, warm, embracing hug.

00:33:06.000 It's either smash or gently touch.

00:33:09.000 He hugs you like he's about to suplex you.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, like, we're gonna scuffle.

00:33:13.000 Yeah.

00:33:14.000 But he does it to everybody.

00:33:15.000 Good guy, good funny guy.

00:33:16.000 And then some of the other newer...

00:33:18.000 Like, I think all the door guys are funny, pretty much.

00:33:22.000 I haven't seen Miles in a while, but I keep hearing he's killing.

00:33:25.000 Yo, Miles...

00:33:26.000 Miles is on a whole other tear, man.

00:33:29.000 Because he's one of those people that's like, he's different.

00:33:33.000 He's real different.

00:33:34.000 Yeah.

00:33:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:36.000 So is Casey Rocket.

00:33:37.000 Well, Casey's figuring it out, too.

00:33:39.000 He's got a thing where I was like, I don't know if he can do that for a long time.

00:33:43.000 I think he can.

00:33:44.000 He's figuring that out.

00:33:45.000 I think he also can do different things in between doing that.

00:33:48.000 He can go any way he wants.

00:33:50.000 He's doing it this one way now where he's hyper energetic, but that doesn't mean that's how he has to do it.

00:33:54.000 He's funny.

00:33:55.000 But he's got so much energy.

00:33:56.000 Yeah, he's funny.

00:33:57.000 He can do anything.

00:33:58.000 He can figure it out as he does it, but that's the most important part of this developmental phase that he's in.

00:34:05.000 It's like he's killing, but he's worth learning how to do it.

00:34:08.000 I have purposely gone out of my way to never write a joke where I needed to do a back Nah!

00:34:14.000 You know what I mean?

00:34:17.000 He's got so much energy in the act.

00:34:20.000 I said this to Shane Gillis last night while you were on stage.

00:34:23.000 I go, there's no one in the world who kills more effortlessly than Bryan Simpson.

00:34:28.000 Oh, wow. 0.93

00:34:29.000 Because you have a casual killing. 0.96

00:34:31.000 You're casually killing.

00:34:33.000 You don't get hyped up.

00:34:37.000 It's interesting in your style because it actually puts more weight on any criticism you put on something.

00:34:44.000 That's because my first 10 years in comedy, I wasn't sleeping.

00:34:49.000 So you're tired all the time.

00:34:50.000 So I was just tired all the time.

00:34:52.000 That's just how I've learned to do it.

00:34:54.000 That's hilarious.

00:34:56.000 That's hilarious.

00:34:58.000 Yeah, I didn't get good sleep for years.

00:35:00.000 I finally got the CPAP machine like five years ago and I couldn't believe it.

00:35:05.000 Yeah, big difference.

00:35:06.000 Oh man, that's a huge...

00:35:08.000 Changed Joey.

00:35:09.000 Some people have them and they're like, yeah, but I don't use them.

00:35:12.000 How do you not use it?

00:35:13.000 I tried it once.

00:35:14.000 I didn't like it.

00:35:16.000 But I have a mouthpiece that I sleep with.

00:35:19.000 How does that work?

00:35:19.000 It presses my tongue down.

00:35:21.000 So the mouthpiece is fit to my lower teeth and is a tongue depressor and it keeps my airway open.

00:35:27.000 Oh yeah, see, I try to get one.

00:35:28.000 Due to have big necks, like football players, almost all those dudes have sleep apnea.

00:35:34.000 It's a big neck thing.

00:35:35.000 And it runs in my family, the big neck.

00:35:37.000 You have a big neck.

00:35:38.000 Yeah.

00:35:38.000 And look at all this tissue.

00:35:39.000 And if you have, you know, a big tongue, I have a pretty fat tongue.

00:35:42.000 And this neck and the hole is not as big as it probably would be if I had like a skinny neck.

00:35:49.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.

00:35:50.000 You know, like your neck is tissue. 1.00

00:35:52.000 This is all fucking stuff. 0.99

00:35:54.000 I mean, I build that up with exercises. 0.99

00:35:57.000 Does it work though?

00:35:58.000 Yeah.

00:35:58.000 The mouthpiece?

00:35:58.000 It keeps my airway open.

00:36:00.000 I sleep great with it.

00:36:01.000 But if I don't have it, man, I snore.

00:36:03.000 It's horrible.

00:36:04.000 I'm pretty sure I tried to get one of those.

00:36:07.000 But then they mailed me a kit that I had to do other stuff.

00:36:11.000 Yeah, you have to form it to your teeth.

00:36:13.000 You lost me.

00:36:15.000 I don't do step twos.

00:36:17.000 You can go to a dentist, though, and they'll do it.

00:36:20.000 Oh, okay.

00:36:20.000 I think I need to do that.

00:36:21.000 I'll set you up.

00:36:22.000 I got a dentist that does it for me.

00:36:23.000 I had to do it with my audiologist for my in-ear monitors. 0.99

00:36:28.000 I didn't know that you could do shit like that. 0.96

00:36:30.000 Yeah, the in-ear monitors where they form it to your ear. 0.98

00:36:33.000 Oh man, that's one of the best choices I have in a long time.

00:36:36.000 I have that for the UFC. So when I'm at the UFC, they made me one.

00:36:40.000 So when I put it on, it's mine.

00:36:41.000 It fits right in my ear.

00:36:42.000 Poink! 0.96

00:36:43.000 Perfect.

00:36:43.000 Nothing goes better than that.

00:36:45.000 Bro, that is the worst thing about cauliflower ear. 1.00

00:36:48.000 Those dudes are fucked. 0.99

00:36:49.000 When you get crazy cauliflower ear, like, I was talking to this, one of our guys at the security guys at the club, they're all MMA guys, jujitsu guys, and one of them has these fucked up ears, and I'm like, but you can't hear good, right? 1.00

00:37:03.000 He's like... 0.93

00:37:04.000 It's not as good.

00:37:06.000 It's definitely not as good.

00:37:07.000 Like, that's big.

00:37:08.000 Can you get them drained?

00:37:09.000 His are gone.

00:37:10.000 His are hard.

00:37:11.000 They become calcified.

00:37:12.000 Oh.

00:37:13.000 So what happens is the blood pools up.

00:37:16.000 Your ear gets broken, right?

00:37:18.000 And the tissue separates and blood fills it.

00:37:20.000 And that blood, over time, will become calcified.

00:37:23.000 So it literally becomes rock.

00:37:25.000 Oh.

00:37:26.000 It feels like rock. 0.97

00:37:27.000 I have little bits of it, but when I trained, most of the time when I trained, I wore ear guards, like wrestling ear guards, just because I didn't want to fuck my ears up. 0.93

00:37:35.000 Because if you just go like this and you talk like this normal, you hear things. 0.59

00:37:40.000 But if you go like this and talk like that, you're missing something.

00:37:44.000 You're missing some sound, and you don't realize you're missing it until you let your ear go.

00:37:48.000 You go, oh, now I hear it all.

00:37:49.000 Well, you're giving that.

00:37:51.000 That's you forever.

00:37:53.000 Forever.

00:37:54.000 Now you have rocks on the outside of your ears.

00:37:57.000 So all this design that God created to let us hear so brilliantly, where it captures sounds and rolls them around and goes inside your ear, all that's gone.

00:38:08.000 Now you get rocks.

00:38:11.000 That's one of those new earphones that goes outside the ear?

00:38:14.000 They're not brand new, but if anyone's listening and has this problem, this is called a jaw induction headphone.

00:38:21.000 So it creates sound frequencies that bounce off the bones inside your head. 0.97

00:38:26.000 And so it works even if you have fucked up ears? 0.97

00:38:28.000 Yeah, because it's not going through the ear. 1.00

00:38:30.000 And is that for any sound, or is that for listening to music and shit? 0.87

00:38:35.000 Good for listening to music, but technically it will emit sound, so if you're next to this person, you'll be able to hear it too. 0.89

00:38:42.000 But not perfectly, but it's made for the person that's wearing it.

00:38:46.000 You know what's really incredible?

00:38:47.000 They are really cool, though.

00:38:47.000 Do you know what game ears are?

00:38:50.000 You know what tactical headphones where you can listen to people talk, but it has technology in there that stops the sound from being louder than a certain volume.

00:39:02.000 Right.

00:39:02.000 So when someone's shooting a gun, it's never that loud.

00:39:04.000 Right, right, right.

00:39:05.000 You know those?

00:39:06.000 Yeah.

00:39:06.000 You can hear so much better with those things.

00:39:08.000 Because they also...

00:39:10.000 They amplify.

00:39:11.000 You create a gate, a frequency gate, where it's like anything below that frequency, it brings it up.

00:39:16.000 Anything above it, it brings it down.

00:39:17.000 So people put these on when they go hunting, and they turn them on, and you can hear shit like multiple times more than you would be able to hear normally. 0.95

00:39:25.000 So you could hear footsteps. 0.94

00:39:27.000 So like if a deer, like if you're in a tree stand, and you're just sitting up there with your rifle in a tree stand, you're listening around constantly.

00:39:33.000 You ever do that?

00:39:34.000 You ever tree stand hunt?

00:39:35.000 Uh-uh, no. 1.00

00:39:36.000 It's a mind fuck, dude. 1.00

00:39:37.000 I was wearing those when I was working. 1.00

00:39:40.000 50 decibels of hearing enhancement.

00:39:43.000 That's a lot.

00:39:43.000 Yeah, it's a lot.

00:39:45.000 Yeah, I've used them before.

00:39:46.000 It's crazy.

00:39:47.000 I wore those on the rifle ring.

00:39:49.000 Not the, but they were like over the years.

00:39:51.000 The other kind, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:39:52.000 But it was like, you could hear people, you walk away from people and they go, fuck you, fuck you. 1.00

00:39:55.000 Ah, you hear all of it. 1.00

00:39:57.000 I learned that you have to act like you, you have to be very selective about what you react to because you don't, people don't need to know that you can hear them.

00:40:03.000 Right.

00:40:04.000 You know?

00:40:04.000 Right.

00:40:05.000 And if you give it away...

00:40:06.000 Yeah, that's a problem.

00:40:08.000 The cat's out the back.

00:40:09.000 Yeah, you gotta get...

00:40:10.000 Yeah.

00:40:11.000 It taught me patience because I'm like, oh, that wasn't for me to hear.

00:40:14.000 That was just him getting his frustration, you know?

00:40:16.000 Yeah.

00:40:16.000 I don't need to react because he thinks I'm 50 feet away.

00:40:19.000 Right.

00:40:19.000 So I was like, well, I don't need to react to that.

00:40:21.000 Yeah, fuck him. 1.00

00:40:23.000 I'd rather wait until somebody goes, I'm about to shoot this motherfucker. 1.00

00:40:26.000 Right. 1.00

00:40:26.000 Now you know. 1.00

00:40:28.000 Yeah, and then the secret's out.

00:40:29.000 If you have those headphones on, man, it's really bizarre.

00:40:34.000 Because you can hear things that you can't normally hear.

00:40:36.000 It feels like super hearing.

00:40:37.000 Yeah, but you can also shoot guns and it doesn't hurt your ears.

00:40:41.000 It's weird.

00:40:42.000 Yeah.

00:40:42.000 Amazing.

00:40:43.000 Amazing that somebody figured that out.

00:40:45.000 But anyway, man, if you've got bad ears, like if your ears get calcified, you're definitely going to change what things sound like.

00:40:52.000 It's a price to pay to be dangerous.

00:40:55.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:40:56.000 I mean, you can wear ear guards.

00:40:59.000 I just didn't understand. 0.99

00:41:00.000 Yeah, they suck. 1.00

00:41:00.000 I hate them. 1.00

00:41:01.000 They cut your chin.

00:41:02.000 They irritate your head.

00:41:05.000 But to me, I had these nice ones that were vinyl, and they were just designed for jiu-jitsu.

00:41:11.000 So they were flat to your head, and they were really comfortable.

00:41:16.000 So why don't guys do it? 0.99

00:41:17.000 Does it seem like a pussy move? 1.00

00:41:18.000 A pussy move. 1.00

00:41:19.000 Guys like cauliflower ear, too. 1.00

00:41:22.000 It lets people know.

00:41:26.000 I'd look tougher if I had cauliflower ears.

00:41:28.000 Yeah, but I don't know if that's worth it.

00:41:30.000 It's not worth it.

00:41:31.000 It wasn't worth it to me.

00:41:33.000 But I'm also not a professional.

00:41:35.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:41:36.000 If you're a professional and your ear gets fucked up, you're back in training the next day. 0.99

00:41:41.000 There's no, oh, I gotta get this drain and take six months off and let it heal. 1.00

00:41:45.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:41:47.000 Shut the fuck up and get back in there, dude. 1.00

00:41:49.000 You are a professional fighter. 1.00

00:41:51.000 I'm just a comedian. 0.97

00:41:52.000 So for me, it's like I gotta mitigate what gets fucked up. 0.89

00:41:57.000 People love those things, though. 0.91

00:41:59.000 It's like a badge of courage.

00:42:01.000 They walk around with a cauliflower ear and they're like, everybody knows. 1.00

00:42:06.000 I know how to fuck people up. 1.00

00:42:08.000 Damn. 1.00

00:42:09.000 So then you know what that means. 0.99

00:42:10.000 It's definitely people getting the fake cauliflower ear.

00:42:14.000 They get an ear injection so they can look...

00:42:15.000 Well, all you'd have to do is damage your ear.

00:42:18.000 You could do it pretty easily.

00:42:19.000 Especially with some people.

00:42:21.000 It's real different.

00:42:23.000 Some people don't get cauliflower ear. 0.92

00:42:25.000 They're crazy. 0.94

00:42:25.000 They don't even train with ear guards. 0.94

00:42:27.000 Don't mess with me.

00:42:28.000 And some people, they'll break their ears.

00:42:31.000 And they'll do things to their ears on purpose.

00:42:34.000 So they can purposely get it? 0.99

00:42:35.000 Yeah, they'll take a jiu-jitsu belt and they'll just fucking smash their ear. 0.99

00:42:38.000 And they're trying to give themselves cauliflower ear. 0.97

00:42:41.000 People have definitely done that.

00:42:43.000 Oh, that's crazy.

00:42:44.000 Yeah.

00:42:45.000 I've also met guys who are white belts who just started who got cauliflower ear and they never did anything about it.

00:42:49.000 They got this big lump on their ear.

00:42:51.000 And they're terrible.

00:42:53.000 And then there's people that do it for decades and don't get anything.

00:42:56.000 Yeah, but it's rare.

00:42:57.000 It's pretty rare.

00:42:57.000 Or you're just like really elite at defense.

00:43:01.000 There's some guys that are so good at defense, you just never really catch their head.

00:43:04.000 But usually you would think that you would catch their head early on in their career before they figured out how to be really good defensively and technically.

00:43:12.000 But there's certain guys, like good luck getting a hold of Marcelo Garcia's neck, unless you're a lot bigger than Robert Drysdale or someone like that who tapped him.

00:43:21.000 You know, that guy was a wizard.

00:43:23.000 Like, when you're that fast...

00:43:25.000 You ever seen Marcelo Garcia?

00:43:26.000 Okay, I want to show you this one time where I saw him live in Brazil in 2003, where Eddie was competing for...

00:43:34.000 It was at the Abu Dhabi World Championships.

00:43:36.000 And this is the year that Marcelo Garcia, like, burst onto the scene.

00:43:40.000 Like, people didn't know who he was.

00:43:41.000 Is this the same year where Eddie won?

00:43:42.000 Yes, he triangled Hoyler.

00:43:44.000 Okay.

00:43:44.000 Yeah.

00:43:45.000 So, get Marcelo Garcia versus...

00:43:52.000 What's that?

00:43:53.000 You have it?

00:43:55.000 No, no, no.

00:43:56.000 That's just him.

00:43:57.000 They're just training.

00:43:58.000 Shaolin.

00:43:59.000 Shaolin Hibero.

00:44:00.000 Marcello Garcia, Shaolin.

00:44:03.000 So this dude, Shaolin, who's Hibero.

00:44:07.000 R-I-B-E-R-O. Shaolin is a legendary jiu-jitsu guy, like super high-level black belt.

00:44:15.000 So for him to do this to Shaolin is so insane.

00:44:17.000 You got to see this move.

00:44:19.000 He just spun, took his back and strangled him unconscious.

00:44:24.000 And this is like instantly in the beginning of the match.

00:44:28.000 This match happened.

00:44:30.000 It's like 30 seconds and he puts him to sleep.

00:44:33.000 Watch that again, because that scramble, he does an arm drag?

00:44:37.000 That was smooth.

00:44:38.000 Go from the beginning.

00:44:41.000 Just go from the beginning, because it's so quick anyway.

00:44:43.000 So he does an arm drag.

00:44:44.000 Marcelo Garcia is in the rash guard.

00:44:46.000 He does an arm drag on his right arm.

00:44:48.000 Look at this.

00:44:49.000 Watch how he turns, turns, turns, keeps going, turns, keeps rolling, keeps rolling, gets the back, gets the hooks in.

00:44:55.000 Super strong legs.

00:44:56.000 Now he's got the hook in, and now he's securing the neck. 0.99

00:45:00.000 And he's gonna hang on and he's gonna just fucking crush him to sleep. 0.98

00:45:04.000 And he's asleep right there. 0.99

00:45:06.000 Dude, that is so insane.

00:45:10.000 Yeah.

00:45:10.000 That is so insane.

00:45:12.000 That is one of the most legendary finishing sequences in all of jujitsu history.

00:45:18.000 Because that was like the moment Marcelo Garcia, who's like one of the greatest of all time, burst onto the scene.

00:45:23.000 And he just locked in.

00:45:25.000 Yeah, so that guy, even he has cauliflower ear.

00:45:28.000 Oh.

00:45:29.000 As good as he is.

00:45:30.000 As good as he is.

00:45:32.000 Yeah, you can't...

00:45:32.000 It seems like unavoidable.

00:45:34.000 Yeah, some guys don't get it.

00:45:35.000 It's weird.

00:45:37.000 And some guys are just real big guys.

00:45:39.000 Some real big guys never get caught.

00:45:40.000 You know?

00:45:41.000 Real strong guys.

00:45:42.000 Well, that's why, like, every time I... Whenever I see somebody with cauliflower ears, like, I know two things.

00:45:46.000 I know, one, they can probably fight.

00:45:49.000 Almost definitely.

00:45:50.000 And two, they have some kind of old nagging injury that they hope and I don't discover.

00:45:56.000 Ha! 0.89

00:45:57.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:45:59.000 Like, all the most dangerous dudes are like, if anyone hits me in my fucking... 0.99

00:46:03.000 Left knee. 0.99

00:46:04.000 Right, yeah. 0.68

00:46:05.000 They will fold me the fuck up.

00:46:07.000 So, that's why I'm scared. 1.00

00:46:09.000 That's why I don't fuck with those people. 1.00

00:46:10.000 Like, old dude, don't fuck with them because they're going to fight. 1.00

00:46:12.000 They're going to give you everything they got because they don't want the fight to go so long that you find that injury. 1.00

00:46:18.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:46:19.000 Also, don't just be fucking with people thinking it's a fair fight. 0.99

00:46:22.000 People stab people. 1.00

00:46:23.000 They shoot people.

00:46:24.000 Just don't do it.

00:46:25.000 Just don't do it, man.

00:46:26.000 If you want to prove yourself, go to a gym.

00:46:29.000 Go to a gym, learn how to fight, and then you will lose all of your desire to do that in a bar.

00:46:34.000 Especially after 30. I don't give a fuck if you're 20. Don't do it. 1.00

00:46:39.000 Don't fucking do it, man. 1.00

00:46:40.000 It's how people die. 1.00

00:46:42.000 It's how people get locked up in jail for the rest of their lives.

00:46:45.000 20-somethings, though, you can't tell a 20-something.

00:46:47.000 Yeah, you can.

00:46:48.000 I listened.

00:46:48.000 Yeah, I listened.

00:46:49.000 I was terrified of fights when I was in my 20s, and I knew how to fight.

00:46:52.000 I didn't want to go anywhere.

00:46:53.000 Oh, yeah, but you grew up fighting.

00:46:55.000 Yeah, but, I mean, when I would go out to bars.

00:46:57.000 Right, right.

00:46:58.000 Like, if I was out to bars with my friends and shit would break loose, I'd be like, exit, please. 0.79

00:47:02.000 I'm not fighting anybody. 0.99

00:47:04.000 I'm getting the fuck out of here. 0.96

00:47:06.000 I knew that early, early on because I knew guys. 0.96

00:47:09.000 Growing up in Boston, going to high school in Newton, which was outside of Boston, I spent most of my time in Boston because that's where I did Taekwondo. 0.97

00:47:17.000 I met some hard fucking dudes. 0.99

00:47:21.000 Some hard, hard men. 1.00

00:47:24.000 One of the guys that I met was a fucking hitman for Whitey Bulger. 0.99

00:47:28.000 He was a guy I was training. 0.99

00:47:30.000 I was teaching him Taekwondo and he was a hitman.

00:47:34.000 Like, well known that he was in the Irish Mob.

00:47:38.000 Well known.

00:47:38.000 And he was taking Taekwondo classes.

00:47:41.000 I was around people that like, so in my mind, Any man that you just have some confrontation with, even if you beat his ass, that's not the end of it. 0.98

00:47:50.000 He's gonna come find you. 0.96

00:47:52.000 This idea that you could just do something to someone and there's no consequences ever, it could be a year from now, two years from now, five years from now.

00:48:02.000 You're gonna be looking over the shoulder for the rest of your life? 1.00

00:48:04.000 What are you, fucking stupid? 1.00

00:48:06.000 Just get away. 1.00

00:48:07.000 Don't fight with people.

00:48:09.000 Don't argue with people.

00:48:10.000 Yes, come on. 0.89

00:48:11.000 Don't piss people off.

00:48:13.000 We'd all be better off if people didn't have this desire to control themselves.

00:48:16.000 And that's what you get rid of when you go to the gym.

00:48:19.000 When you learn jujitsu, when you learn a martial art, and you don't have this desire to test yourself all the time, because you're constantly being tested.

00:48:27.000 When you go out, you just want to have fun and chill.

00:48:31.000 Most of the fighters I've met, I've met a lot of fighters since I've lived here now.

00:48:36.000 Most of them are pretty chill.

00:48:38.000 Super chill.

00:48:39.000 I think all the security people are all jujitsu guys.

00:48:45.000 I know one of the guys was some kind of champion.

00:48:51.000 You would never know it.

00:48:52.000 They're so humble and respectful.

00:48:54.000 Well, it's because they get challenged all the time.

00:48:56.000 They don't want to do it in real life.

00:48:59.000 The real challenge is challenged against skilled people.

00:49:03.000 When you're doing that all the time, when you're rolling with black belts, and you're fighting off triangles, and the triangle turns into an arm bar, and you're barely escaping, and then you get side control, you're battling all day long. 0.98

00:49:17.000 You're battling in your head after the class.

00:49:19.000 You're going, oh, how did he catch me?

00:49:21.000 How did I do that?

00:49:22.000 Why did I do that?

00:49:23.000 My left foot.

00:49:24.000 And you're trying to figure out what you did wrong and what you did right.

00:49:27.000 You don't want to get in a fight in a bar.

00:49:29.000 You want to go have fun.

00:49:30.000 If you would go to a bar with a bunch of jiu-jitsu people, they're all laughing.

00:49:34.000 They want to have a good time.

00:49:35.000 They say thank you.

00:49:37.000 The waitress comes over.

00:49:38.000 They're polite.

00:49:40.000 They're nice people.

00:49:41.000 They get it all out, man.

00:49:42.000 You got to get it all out. 0.81

00:49:44.000 And if you want to get it all out at a bar, man, you're going to get killed.

00:49:47.000 There's a confidence that comes from knowing exactly where you stand.

00:49:51.000 Where it's like, oh, I... I know that that dude can beat my ass. 1.00

00:49:55.000 I know for sure. 1.00

00:49:56.000 Because he's done it every day for the last six...

00:49:59.000 You know what I mean?

00:49:59.000 Yeah.

00:50:00.000 And just knowing you don't go out with this insecurity about you.

00:50:03.000 Right.

00:50:04.000 I think.

00:50:04.000 Most of them.

00:50:06.000 Most of them.

00:50:06.000 Yeah.

00:50:07.000 I mean, there's wild dudes that get involved in cage fighting.

00:50:10.000 But overall...

00:50:12.000 I feel they are exceptional human beings.

00:50:15.000 And I know that sounds crazy for someone who thinks it's barbaric, but you have to understand that the character development involved in becoming a guy like a Dustin Poirier.

00:50:24.000 You want to be that good? 0.95

00:50:26.000 The fucking fire you have to go through to be at a world-class level for as long as that guy's been doing it and be that good right now? 0.99

00:50:36.000 You know what, man? 0.99

00:50:37.000 That's an exceptional human being.

00:50:40.000 Exceptional.

00:50:41.000 There's not a lot of those out there. 0.92

00:50:42.000 And when you meet those guys, you're out with those guys, they're the fucking nicest guys. 0.85

00:50:47.000 They're cool. 0.89

00:50:48.000 They're calm. 0.99

00:50:49.000 They have their shit together. 1.00

00:50:50.000 Even Sean Strickland, who everybody thinks is crazy and he says a bunch of wild shit. 1.00

00:50:54.000 Sean is a great guy. 1.00

00:50:56.000 He's a nice guy. 0.98

00:50:58.000 He's a real smart dude who had a fucked up childhood. 0.96

00:51:02.000 And he's an excellent... 0.97

00:51:04.000 Professional fighter, and he's a nice guy.

00:51:06.000 If you're nice to him, he's a nice guy.

00:51:08.000 He's fun.

00:51:09.000 He's fun. 0.99

00:51:10.000 But, you know, in the street, if you find that guy and you talk shit to him for no reason, he's gonna put you in the hospital. 0.99

00:51:21.000 He's gonna put you in the hospital, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it. 0.99

00:51:25.000 You don't even have a chance. 0.96

00:51:26.000 You have nothing.

00:51:27.000 You have zero chance. 1.00

00:51:29.000 This idea, oh, fucking, these guys can't fight. 1.00

00:51:31.000 I don't know how to fight. 1.00

00:51:33.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00

00:51:34.000 You have no idea what you're talking about. 1.00

00:51:35.000 Well, you definitely shouldn't be out talking shit to people for no reason. 0.99

00:51:37.000 They always did it. 0.99

00:51:38.000 They used to do it to Chuck Liddell. 1.00

00:51:40.000 People would talk shit to him. 0.99

00:51:41.000 They used to do it to Mike Tyson. 1.00

00:51:42.000 Mike Tyson people would talk shit to. 1.00

00:51:44.000 There's certain people that are just crazy, man. 1.00

00:51:47.000 Well, speaking of Mike Tyson... 0.61

00:51:49.000 These people that think that he don't stand a chance against Jake Paul because he's too old. 0.96

00:51:55.000 I think you're crazy.

00:51:57.000 Well, they're definitely uninformed. 0.99

00:52:00.000 Yeah.

00:52:01.000 Because here's the thing.

00:52:02.000 He is 57 years old.

00:52:03.000 He will be 58 when they fight.

00:52:05.000 He has had a long fighting career.

00:52:08.000 He has been knocked out by massive men like Lennox Lewis.

00:52:13.000 And Evander Holyfield.

00:52:15.000 You know, he's had a lot of blows.

00:52:17.000 And, you know, it's long, you know, long past the time where most people ever fight.

00:52:24.000 You know, the only person that ever fought competitively after age 50 is Bernard Hopkins and Archie Moore.

00:52:30.000 Archie Moore did it back in the day.

00:52:31.000 No, Foreman was 40, son.

00:52:33.000 Foreman was in his 50s, I believe, when he had his last fight.

00:52:35.000 Was he?

00:52:36.000 He won the title.

00:52:37.000 I'm going to grab some whiskey.

00:52:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:39.000 Foreman was the... 0.99

00:52:40.000 Want some ice and glasses and shit? 0.99

00:52:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:52:44.000 I think Foreman captured the heavyweight title at the oldest age, which was 46 when he fought Michael Moore.

00:52:53.000 He hit him with his perfect right hand.

00:52:55.000 It was crazy.

00:52:56.000 That's okay.

00:52:57.000 That's that bodega cat.

00:52:58.000 That's Mark Norman stuff. 1.00

00:53:00.000 We got some good shit, though. 0.98

00:53:02.000 So how old was he? 0.99

00:53:03.000 48. So his last fight when he fought Shannon Briggs.

00:53:06.000 Shannon the Cannon.

00:53:07.000 Shout out to Shannon. 0.94

00:53:08.000 Let's go champ. 0.96

00:53:09.000 So he beat Lou Savarese.

00:53:11.000 He was 48 years old. 0.92

00:53:14.000 Crazy. 0.97

00:53:15.000 Crazy. 0.94

00:53:17.000 Crazy. 0.95

00:53:17.000 And he knocked out Michael Moore. 0.95

00:53:19.000 He was 45. So he was the oldest man ever to win the heavyweight title at age 45. And you got to realize, like, that's a real 45. That's not like a 45 today.

00:53:30.000 The 45 today is 45 with testosterone replacement and human growth hormone and peptides.

00:53:37.000 Well, that's what I'm saying.

00:53:38.000 Mike Tyson, yeah, he's 57, but he got access to...

00:53:43.000 Everything.

00:53:44.000 And he's also doing this very unique kind of training with electrical muscular stimulation that I've talked to some people that do that.

00:53:53.000 And it has massive benefits of rehabilitating injuries.

00:53:56.000 And it also, for a lot of people, gives them significant gains when they use it as opposed to just using weightlifting.

00:54:05.000 I don't know too much about the science behind it.

00:54:07.000 When Jamie comes back, we'll have him look it up.

00:54:10.000 But you slap electrodes onto yourself They put these pads on you, and it's hooked up to a machine.

00:54:16.000 And while the electricity is going into your muscles, you're doing exercises.

00:54:20.000 So while you're getting jolted, you're doing squats, and you're doing deadlifts, you're doing all this shit while you're connected to this thing that's stimulating your muscles.

00:54:31.000 But isn't that...

00:54:34.000 Because my main concern would be, I guess, in my head, what if the electricity, the timing's off, and it And it goes to contract your muscle at a time when you're trying to...

00:54:45.000 I think it's constantly contracted.

00:54:47.000 And I think you're fighting through that.

00:54:49.000 I don't know.

00:54:50.000 I haven't done it. 1.00

00:54:50.000 I'm talking out of my ass. 1.00

00:54:51.000 What is that thing that Mike Tyson does where he gets connected to like an electrical muscular stimulation machine? 0.99

00:54:59.000 I've seen it in training footage.

00:55:01.000 And I know from talking to the guy that was telling me about...

00:55:05.000 Cheers, my brother.

00:55:06.000 Congratulations on your special.

00:55:07.000 Thank you.

00:55:08.000 It's awesome. 0.86

00:55:10.000 I'm so happy to see you killing it.

00:55:12.000 Oh, good bourbon. 0.89

00:55:13.000 Not bad.

00:55:14.000 I think this is the Jack Carr stuff.

00:55:16.000 Yeah, that's not bad.

00:55:17.000 No, this is Balcones Texas pot still bourbon.

00:55:25.000 That's legit.

00:55:27.000 Yeah, this is real legit.

00:55:29.000 That's legit.

00:55:33.000 That's good stuff.

00:55:33.000 And what were we just talking about?

00:55:35.000 George Foreman, Mike Tyson.

00:55:37.000 Mike Tyson, yeah.

00:55:39.000 So they do this thing where they slap these electrodes on him.

00:55:48.000 Chuck Zito's a giant fight fan.

00:55:50.000 Shout out to Chuck.

00:55:51.000 Oh, this is now.

00:55:52.000 Yeah.

00:55:52.000 So they put these electrodes on him and they have him perform different exercises.

00:55:57.000 New fit.

00:55:59.000 N-E-U-F-I-T. And so they have this machine.

00:56:04.000 Okay.

00:56:06.000 A breakthrough in neuromuscular electrical stimulation devices utilizing direct current.

00:56:12.000 So it's a device that uses an updated form of neuromuscular electrical stimulation to send electrical impulses through the skin to the nerves, resulting in muscle contractions and sensory impulses.

00:56:24.000 The NMES technology mitigates the action potentials of both peripheral and central nervous system, allowing for communication with virtually all parts of the body.

00:56:35.000 The impulses stimulate muscles and other tissues, including contractile and sensory muscle fibers.

00:56:42.000 And sensory and motor neurons, the stimulation also leads to increased blood flow in the areas where it's applied.

00:56:49.000 So, I know Tyson was doing that before the Roy Jones fight when he was training.

00:56:54.000 I believe he's doing that now, too.

00:56:56.000 But that's interesting, right?

00:56:57.000 Because you'd want to do, like, everything you can with a 57-year-old body to get it ready to do that.

00:57:04.000 Yeah.

00:57:05.000 I don't think people know.

00:57:08.000 You don't lose that much ability.

00:57:10.000 Yeah.

00:57:11.000 You know?

00:57:12.000 You have to understand who you're talking about.

00:57:15.000 But what does change though is your ability to recover.

00:57:18.000 Yes.

00:57:19.000 Right?

00:57:19.000 And then the amount of damage you can take.

00:57:21.000 Yes.

00:57:22.000 That's what changes. 0.99

00:57:23.000 But he can still fucking destroy that guy. 0.98

00:57:25.000 The thing about the amount of damage you can take, it's all in comparison to how much damage you took in your life. 0.99

00:57:36.000 Right.

00:57:36.000 There's certain guys that as they get older, it's very disturbing because you see them get touched with a punch and they just go out.

00:57:43.000 You'll see that with some older MMA fighters.

00:57:46.000 I saw that with Chuck Liddell.

00:57:47.000 Yes.

00:57:48.000 Where it was like nobody could knock him out.

00:57:50.000 Nobody.

00:57:50.000 And then it was like anyone could.

00:57:52.000 In his prime, he was ferocious, dude.

00:57:55.000 He had an iron chin and ferocious power and just this warrior mentality.

00:58:00.000 He was just chasing you down.

00:58:02.000 He was hunting you inside that cage.

00:58:04.000 Everybody.

00:58:05.000 But anyone with an iron chin, Eventually they start getting knocked out because the reason you know they have an iron skin is because you've seen them take some...

00:58:12.000 There was this dude in boxing.

00:58:13.000 His name was Doug DeWitt.

00:58:15.000 And Doug DeWitt was not the best fighter in the world, but he had the best chin of all time.

00:58:21.000 Dudes would tee off on Doug DeWitt and it was like nothing happened. 0.97

00:58:25.000 He was crazy. 0.85

00:58:27.000 He was known for his ability to take a punch. 0.99

00:58:30.000 And then one day it just went away.

00:58:32.000 One day it went away.

00:58:33.000 And one day he just got dropped and knocked out.

00:58:35.000 And then he just couldn't take shots anymore.

00:58:37.000 It just gave out.

00:58:38.000 It just gave out like a bad suspension.

00:58:41.000 See if you can find Doug DeWitt highlights.

00:58:44.000 He was born with 50 knockouts in you.

00:58:45.000 This dude had a thousand knockouts in him.

00:58:48.000 You couldn't knock him out.

00:58:50.000 He was getting hit clean in the face by murderers.

00:58:55.000 And you couldn't stop him.

00:58:58.000 It was weird.

00:58:58.000 And he was known for that.

00:59:00.000 Like, if a guy was gonna fight Doug DeWitt, you know, you knew he was a good fighter, but you knew that the thing about him is he had the craziest chin of all time.

00:59:09.000 He was known for it.

00:59:12.000 I don't think that's Doug DeWitt.

00:59:14.000 That's Nigel Benn.

00:59:16.000 Is that Doug DeWitt?

00:59:18.000 No, that's not Doug DeWitt, dude.

00:59:20.000 It's a different guy.

00:59:22.000 Different guy.

00:59:25.000 Oh, no, no, yeah.

00:59:26.000 Because these are all...

00:59:27.000 This is Nigel Benn, who was a real destroyer, man. 1.00

00:59:31.000 He was a fucking murderous, murderous puncher. 1.00

00:59:34.000 I can't find this. 1.00

00:59:35.000 Thomas Hearn versus Doug DeWitt?

00:59:37.000 That's kind of the same thing that just happened.

00:59:38.000 I don't...

00:59:39.000 Let me see.

00:59:41.000 So Thomas Hearns, one of the greatest knockout artists of all time.

00:59:47.000 Yeah, and that's that guy Doug DeWitt.

00:59:48.000 So he's 25. So this is when Doug DeWitt still had an iron chin.

00:59:52.000 Should not be fighting Thomas Hearns.

00:59:55.000 Whoever set this up, this is a terrible matchup.

00:59:59.000 Scooch your head a little bit.

01:00:01.000 Is this the one where he finally gets knocked out?

01:00:05.000 I don't know.

01:00:08.000 But Doug DeWitt was a very solid fighter, but Tommy Hearns is just next level. 0.96

01:00:12.000 Tommy Hearns has the most ridiculous back. 0.94

01:00:14.000 Look at that back. 1.00

01:00:15.000 That's where all that power comes from, dude.

01:00:17.000 Look how wide he is.

01:00:18.000 So when Tommy was 147, I think this was a middleweight fight, which was 160. But you gotta realize, like, Tommy, when he fought Sugar Ray, he was 147. When he fought, like, Pepino Cuevas and all those other dudes,

01:00:34.000 dude, he was very light.

01:00:36.000 But he was that tall with that kind of power.

01:00:41.000 So look at it.

01:00:41.000 Tommy Hearns is teeing off on Doug DeWitt.

01:00:44.000 I'm telling you, most people who fought Doug DeWitt were stunned by the amount of power that guy could just absorb.

01:00:51.000 He was a really good fighter, and it wasn't like he was a bad fighter.

01:00:54.000 He just wasn't, like, world championship caliber.

01:01:01.000 Where is he now?

01:01:02.000 Who knows, man?

01:01:03.000 It's not good at the end.

01:01:05.000 No.

01:01:06.000 It's not good at the end.

01:01:07.000 I was reading about this boxer from the 80s who was living in LA, and they would have to almost put string on him to make sure he didn't travel too far away from the house.

01:01:19.000 He would get lost on his block.

01:01:21.000 He didn't know what was going on. 0.77

01:01:23.000 His brain is just gone.

01:01:26.000 It's just gone. 0.72

01:01:28.000 Yeah, the price they pay, man.

01:01:30.000 It's the craziest price.

01:01:31.000 The chance at greatness.

01:01:33.000 The craziest price, and you never know when you've crossed the line.

01:01:37.000 You never know when you've crossed the line until your brain's not going to return.

01:01:41.000 In the beginning, you don't even notice a slip.

01:01:44.000 You're just like, I'm just tired from training.

01:01:47.000 You don't even notice.

01:01:48.000 And other people start noticing it.

01:01:50.000 Maybe when you have a drink in you, you can't really form sentences that well.

01:01:54.000 One drink and all of a sudden you're slurring your words.

01:01:57.000 And everybody's like, what's going on with Mike?

01:02:00.000 He just had a couple. 1.00

01:02:02.000 He had one fucking drink. 1.00

01:02:03.000 He's slurring his words like something's going on. 1.00

01:02:06.000 That's one of the first things you see.

01:02:07.000 And then it keeps going.

01:02:10.000 The damage doesn't get better over time.

01:02:12.000 It gets worse. 0.69

01:02:13.000 They say that a lot of the brain damage doesn't even show itself until years after the actual impact of whatever the fuck happened. 0.97

01:02:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:02:22.000 Dudes start doing wild shit. 0.99

01:02:23.000 They start gambling. 1.00

01:02:24.000 They start doing coke.

01:02:26.000 They start going crazy.

01:02:27.000 But then some people are just fine, right?

01:02:28.000 Some people are fine.

01:02:29.000 Yeah, that's weird.

01:02:31.000 It's weird.

01:02:32.000 Some people retire, and they had long careers, and they could talk fine, and they're great, you know?

01:02:37.000 Look at Andre Ward.

01:02:38.000 I know, and you can see, like, whatever brain cells Floyd Mayweather's father had left, he was like, I'm going to make sure this don't happen to my son.

01:02:47.000 Yeah.

01:02:49.000 I think Floyd saw it, too.

01:02:50.000 Of course he had the most defensive fighter of all time.

01:02:53.000 He's like, son, this is what happens when you get hit.

01:02:55.000 Yeah.

01:02:57.000 Oh, also just seeing it from his uncle, Uncle Roger.

01:03:01.000 Oh, that's what I meant.

01:03:02.000 Yeah, his uncle.

01:03:03.000 He sounds drunk all the time.

01:03:05.000 Well, he's dead now.

01:03:06.000 He died, unfortunately.

01:03:09.000 Roger Mayweather was awesome in his prime man.

01:03:11.000 Black Mamba.

01:03:12.000 He was another dude.

01:03:13.000 He was different than Floyd. 0.67

01:03:14.000 He was a crazy knockout artist.

01:03:16.000 You ever see Roger fight?

01:03:16.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:03:17.000 He's a great trainer, too.

01:03:18.000 Yeah, he's a very good trainer.

01:03:19.000 Very, very, very good trainer. 0.98

01:03:21.000 And he's got that famous quote, most people don't know shit about boxing. 0.98

01:03:25.000 It's true. 0.97

01:03:26.000 He's right.

01:03:26.000 He's 100% right.

01:03:28.000 I don't.

01:03:29.000 I barely do.

01:03:31.000 But I know enough about boxing where I feel like when I'm watching a good boxing match, what I'm enjoying is not with the average person.

01:03:41.000 Right.

01:03:41.000 Most people just want to see two big dudes in the middle of the ring just throw punches.

01:03:44.000 Right.

01:03:45.000 They don't care about the strategy of it.

01:03:47.000 Right.

01:03:47.000 But I like to watch...

01:03:49.000 I like to watch the breakdowns.

01:03:51.000 I do too.

01:03:52.000 The footwork and why his feet are right there.

01:03:54.000 This one dude made a really good breakdown of how Anthony Joshua caught Francis Ngannou.

01:04:00.000 It's really good.

01:04:02.000 Yeah.

01:04:02.000 It's really good because he talks about how Joshua was setting up these reactions by jabbing to the body.

01:04:08.000 And how he's jabbing to the body and how Francis would dip his left arm and like throw a hook.

01:04:15.000 And then he was like trying to block the shot to the body and dip his arm and throw a hook.

01:04:18.000 So he timed it right where he feinted the jab to the body.

01:04:22.000 Francis reacted and he hit him with a perfect right hand.

01:04:24.000 And you see in the breakdown how he set it up and like that is boxing.

01:04:30.000 That's real boxing.

01:04:31.000 That's not just a big guy who can punch.

01:04:33.000 But that's like super sophisticated chess playing.

01:04:37.000 In the middle of this high consequence scenario with a giant knockout striker.

01:04:41.000 And some people are like levels above that.

01:04:45.000 Well, that's Usyk.

01:04:47.000 Usyk is level above Anthony Joshua because he boxed the shit out of Joshua two fights in a row and had him in trouble.

01:04:53.000 In the first fight in particular, had him in trouble, man.

01:04:56.000 He had Joshua reeling.

01:04:57.000 And he was all over him.

01:04:59.000 I mean, Usyk is really a cruiserweight.

01:05:00.000 He's not even that big.

01:05:02.000 He's small for a heavyweight.

01:05:04.000 You know, Usyk was fighting, I think, at 197, and then he went up to fight heavyweights.

01:05:09.000 So, like, when he stands next to these guys, he's so much smaller than that.

01:05:13.000 Part of me, deep down, I wish boxing had, like, a UFC-type...

01:05:18.000 Right.

01:05:19.000 Like, I wish someone could make the top guys fight each other.

01:05:21.000 Well, they can't even do that in MMA. Look, Francis is now at the PFL, and you've got other people over at Bellator.

01:05:30.000 I guess Bellator and the PFL are one thing now.

01:05:33.000 But you have to be huge to not do it in the UFC. It's real tough to be famous.

01:05:43.000 The problem is, if you're outside of the UFC, you could be not famous and make more money.

01:05:49.000 That is true.

01:05:50.000 Like, this is a factor.

01:05:51.000 You have to think about guys that, you know, kind of didn't do as well as the top guys in the UFC, but they're still elite MMA fighters.

01:06:00.000 They can go over to the PFL and win that tournament and make a million dollars.

01:06:03.000 Yeah.

01:06:05.000 You know?

01:06:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:06:06.000 And then, man, over there, the Middle East, man, they throwing money at all manner of entertainers and shit over here. 0.99

01:06:13.000 Yeah, that one dude from Montreal, Olivier Aubin-Mercier, I think he won it twice. 0.53

01:06:19.000 I think he won the PFL tournament twice.

01:06:22.000 He definitely won it once.

01:06:23.000 He made a million dollars.

01:06:25.000 Is that why I just saw Mighty Mouse and a no weight?

01:06:27.000 No.

01:06:29.000 Mighty Mouse and a no weight was just a jiu-jitsu match.

01:06:32.000 That was just jiu-jitsu.

01:06:33.000 Mighty Mouse is wild.

01:06:34.000 He just enters jiu-jitsu, opens.

01:06:35.000 As a 155-pound man, fought a 250-pound dude and strangled him.

01:06:40.000 Yeah, and it looked like it too.

01:06:43.000 It's incredible the size difference.

01:06:44.000 It's incredible.

01:06:46.000 But he competes for one.

01:06:49.000 And one championship is this giant organization in Asia.

01:06:54.000 And they have not just MMA fights, but they have kickboxing fights and grappling fights.

01:07:00.000 Like Gary Tonin has competed over there in grappling.

01:07:03.000 The Rutolo brothers are the champions over there.

01:07:05.000 Mikey Musumeci, he competes over there in grappling.

01:07:08.000 They have a great app too, by the way.

01:07:09.000 Yeah, so there's that.

01:07:11.000 So there's places you can go, but to be famous in America is the UFC. Everything else is just, unfortunately, it pales in comparison.

01:07:23.000 The UFC is like Q-tips.

01:07:25.000 The NFL, you know, NBA is where you go to see professional basketball. 0.98

01:07:31.000 If someone else wants to start a new basketball league, good fucking luck. 0.99

01:07:36.000 Good luck! 0.99

01:07:37.000 The UFC is, it's singular.

01:07:39.000 It's singular.

01:07:41.000 It's just the most prominent business that's run the best.

01:07:45.000 It's got the best machine behind it.

01:07:47.000 It's got the most history behind it.

01:07:49.000 They literally invented the sport in 1993 in America.

01:07:53.000 Not invent the sport, but they did put it in a cage and put rules to it.

01:07:56.000 Actually, I think they had cages in Brazil back then already.

01:07:59.000 I'm not sure.

01:08:00.000 They might have had cages in Brazil by then, but a lot of the fights in Brazil in the early days, they'd actually fight in a ring with a net.

01:08:05.000 But what they did was they made...

01:08:06.000 What they did was they made it, they packaged it in a way that made it a major sport.

01:08:11.000 Yes, 100%.

01:08:13.000 Instead of just, like, a blood sport where people, like, something that was done in back alleys.

01:08:18.000 100%.

01:08:18.000 Right?

01:08:18.000 They made it so, like, you could put it on TV. And that was the most brilliant move.

01:08:23.000 I mean, they had to bring in the regulators and shit to kind of make that happen, but that's what made it what it is. 0.99

01:08:29.000 Well, they also had to spend a fuckload. 0.98

01:08:32.000 Yeah, I heard Dana saying that they didn't make any money.

01:08:36.000 You did the first ones for free?

01:08:38.000 Yeah, I did the first 12. 12 or 13 shows I did for free.

01:08:42.000 Well, Dana became my friend.

01:08:43.000 And I knew they were hemorrhaging money.

01:08:46.000 And I said, I don't need any money.

01:08:47.000 I go, just fly us out here.

01:08:48.000 Fly us out here and get my friends tickets.

01:08:52.000 So it was like me and Eddie Bravo would just fly out to the fight.

01:08:55.000 Because we were flying out to the fights before I worked there.

01:09:00.000 He reached out to me because he knew I used to work for the UFC back in the day because I started working for the UFC in 97. That was the post-fight commentator.

01:09:08.000 Oh, it was before Zufa.

01:09:09.000 Before Zufa.

01:09:10.000 Oh, okay, yeah.

01:09:11.000 So it was Zufa, but it was – no, it wasn't Zufa.

01:09:14.000 It was SEG. I'm sorry. 1.00

01:09:16.000 It's still Zufa even though Zufa is sold to WEM. Um, so we were in these, like, small little places in the middle of nowhere, and I did in the early days, I saw Vitor's debut, I saw Randy Couture's debut, Dan Henderson's debut.

01:09:29.000 I mean, I was there for, like, Chuck Liddell's debut.

01:09:32.000 I was there for all these early, early fights.

01:09:34.000 I saw a Carlos Newton fight.

01:09:36.000 I saw all these, like, Alan Joban, I mean, of course, Alan Joban.

01:09:40.000 He was actually at Eddie's gym.

01:09:42.000 But I saw all these, like, great fighters fight.

01:09:45.000 He wasn't, Alan was late later.

01:09:46.000 I was thinking of, um...

01:09:48.000 How cool was I thinking of?

01:09:51.000 Alan Goez.

01:09:52.000 That's right.

01:09:53.000 Alan Goez was a jujitsu wizard who I got to see fight in the early days of the UFC. Most people don't even remember these guys.

01:09:59.000 Like, top-level guys back in the day.

01:10:01.000 And to me, it was like I was a kid in a candy store.

01:10:04.000 But I was losing money doing it, you know?

01:10:06.000 Like, I could be at a comedy club on the road, and I was still on news radio.

01:10:10.000 I was busy.

01:10:11.000 And I did it for a while, but it was costing me money.

01:10:15.000 It was the experience I had.

01:10:17.000 I was like, this is fun.

01:10:18.000 But they were doing one in Japan.

01:10:20.000 And when they went to do the one in Japan, I'm like, I'm out.

01:10:22.000 I'm not going to Japan for $1,000 or whatever I got paid.

01:10:26.000 I'm not going to Japan.

01:10:27.000 So I quit.

01:10:28.000 And I stay a fan.

01:10:30.000 And then Dana contacts me in like 2001 and says, hey, we're going to have the UFC in Vegas.

01:10:37.000 We got tickets for you if you want to come. 0.98

01:10:39.000 I'm like, holy shit. 0.99

01:10:40.000 Yeah, I'm going to go. 0.97

01:10:41.000 So me and Eddie, we flew out to Vegas to watch the UFC. And so I did that for like...

01:10:48.000 The first one or two, and then they had one on Fox.

01:10:51.000 And he said, would you do me a favor?

01:10:53.000 And I said, what?

01:10:54.000 He said, will you do commentary for the one on Fox?

01:10:56.000 Because it was on Fox Sports Net. 0.98

01:10:58.000 It was like the best damn sports show period. 0.96

01:11:00.000 Do you remember that show? 0.99

01:11:01.000 Yeah, I remember that.

01:11:01.000 They had like a UFC event.

01:11:02.000 So I did that.

01:11:03.000 It was UFC 37 and a half.

01:11:06.000 37 and a half?

01:11:07.000 Yeah, that's what it was called.

01:11:08.000 UFC 37 and a half.

01:11:10.000 So I did that, and that was the beginning.

01:11:13.000 And he goes, dude, please keep doing that.

01:11:16.000 And I was like, okay.

01:11:17.000 What's that?

01:11:18.000 What's the name?

01:11:19.000 Is that?

01:11:19.000 This?

01:11:20.000 Is that the good stuff?

01:11:20.000 No, no, no.

01:11:22.000 You want some?

01:11:22.000 This is those Ron White cigars.

01:11:24.000 It's a little baby cigar.

01:11:26.000 Here you go, sir.

01:11:28.000 Gracias.

01:11:29.000 My man.

01:11:30.000 But so that was, you know.

01:11:33.000 That was 2002 or something like that.

01:11:36.000 So when did you hit the point where he was like, alright, I want you to do it permanently?

01:11:41.000 Yeah, I had to sign a contract.

01:11:42.000 I was like...

01:11:43.000 But how many UFCs were you in before you were like, I think I'm going to just do this.

01:11:47.000 Well, I mean, it was like, like I said, it was like 13 in and I never asked for any money.

01:11:52.000 And I was like, it's all right, man.

01:11:54.000 I'm having a good time.

01:11:54.000 I'm happy that you guys like what I do.

01:11:56.000 I'm excited and I'm happy to be able to promote the sport.

01:12:01.000 That's it.

01:12:02.000 June 22nd, 2002. Whoever that is beside you, that dude looks out of his depth.

01:12:06.000 You know what I mean?

01:12:07.000 So that dude that that's Jeff Osborn.

01:12:09.000 He was awesome.

01:12:10.000 He also did a hook-and-shoot who's one of the one of the earlier MMA promotions that like Eve Edwards came out of there Josh near came out of there I some real killers came out of those promotions like a Midwest fight There was a bunch of those like early on promotions These like small level promotions that a lot of guys came up in I can't imagine being like Even in the Chuck Liddell era,

01:12:34.000 before that, before the UFC, what were fighters making?

01:12:39.000 Nothing.

01:12:40.000 Well, Chuck Liddell, when he had his first fights, he was fighting bare knuckle in Brazil.

01:12:45.000 He fought Pele. 0.87

01:12:47.000 Pele is this legendary member of Shoot the Box.

01:12:51.000 You know, I know I've talked to you about Shoot the Box before.

01:12:53.000 That's Anderson Silva.

01:12:54.000 That's where Shogun came out of.

01:12:58.000 I mean, that's Rafael Cordero, the guy who holds mitts for Mike Tyson.

01:13:01.000 He's from Shoot the Box.

01:13:03.000 And now he runs King's MMA. But this is, you know, we're like, this is probably like, what year is this?

01:13:10.000 This has to be like 95?

01:13:11.000 98. Okay.

01:13:14.000 So this is probably either right before Chuck Liddell fought in the UFC, somewhere around that range, but he's fighting in Brazil, bare knuckle, against a dude who's like a legend in Brazil.

01:13:26.000 Like, Pele was like, look, Pele took Chuck Liddell down.

01:13:29.000 How about that? 1.00

01:13:30.000 This is how dangerous this fucking dude is. 1.00

01:13:32.000 Chuck Liddell never gets taken down. 1.00

01:13:33.000 Here he is, mounted, bare knuckle. 0.90

01:13:35.000 And this is a crazy-ass fight, man. 0.76

01:13:40.000 And Chuck eventually gets all of it.

01:13:42.000 Look how they have the setup where the ring at the bottom of it has a net in it. 0.53

01:13:46.000 Bro, Pele's all over him. 0.96

01:13:48.000 But now Chuck sneaks out the back door, and Chuck was like a really good wrestler, but he used his wrestling to stand up.

01:13:55.000 He just wanted to blast people because he also had a karate background.

01:13:58.000 Now in these fights, you're allowed to headbutt, you're allowed to stomp, you're allowed to do everything.

01:14:03.000 You got bare knuckles. 0.99

01:14:04.000 You could even grab dicks. 1.00

01:14:06.000 A lot of these dudes grabbed each other in the dick. 1.00

01:14:09.000 Really? 1.00

01:14:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:14:10.000 Gary Goodrich did it to the Pedro.

01:14:12.000 My signature move. 1.00

01:14:13.000 Bro, he reached into his shorts and grabbed his cock. 1.00

01:14:17.000 Crushing his balls like it was crazy what people were doing Damn you allowed to squeeze balls. 1.00

01:14:23.000 Well, they were in that promotion It was like you could do anything which is kind of crazy that nobody just I poked the shit out of each other Yeah, I think you weren't allowed to bite or you just start with the ball squeeze Look he just got thrown out of the fucking ring onto the ground That's why the net is there to try to trap them while they're beating the shit out of each other I don't know man some of them just were to the finish I mean, 0.99

01:14:47.000 the early UFCs were all to the finish.

01:14:50.000 It's a 33 minute video.

01:14:51.000 Yeah.

01:14:52.000 I think a lot of these fights were just battles of attrition and they went on as long as they went on.

01:14:57.000 Brazil, when they were doing Vale Tudo, it was the purest form of MMA. It wasn't the same level that MMA is today, but it was the purest form because these guys were bare knuckle.

01:15:08.000 They would just wear like little fucking Speedos and they would do everything. 0.98

01:15:14.000 You could kick, you could punch, you could stomp. 1.00

01:15:16.000 To the finish. 1.00

01:15:16.000 You could elbow the back of the head. 1.00

01:15:19.000 You get someone's back, you don't even have to sink in a choke.

01:15:21.000 If you get someone's back with the hooks in, Henzo Gracie did that in one of his fights.

01:15:25.000 He just got this dude's back and just blasted him with elbows in the head.

01:15:30.000 The back of your head is so vulnerable.

01:15:32.000 In the UFC, you're literally not even allowed to hit the back of the head.

01:15:35.000 It's one area where you're not allowed to strike.

01:15:38.000 That's how dangerous it is.

01:15:40.000 And in the old days, they got your back and they go right for that spot.

01:15:43.000 Boom! 0.99

01:15:44.000 Boom! 0.99

01:15:45.000 Boom! 0.99

01:15:46.000 Yeah, that's gonna put you out. 1.00

01:15:47.000 Oh, you're getting fucked up. 0.98

01:15:48.000 So it was like a pure version of what actually works and what doesn't work. 0.99

01:15:53.000 Because if you have no gloves on, punching changes.

01:15:56.000 Everything changes.

01:15:57.000 Your ability to block punches changes.

01:15:58.000 So if you go from like boxing gloves to MMA gloves, there's a giant difference.

01:16:02.000 But even if you go from MMA gloves to no gloves, there's a difference.

01:16:05.000 Because it feels different on your face. 0.98

01:16:07.000 It fucking hurts more. 0.99

01:16:08.000 It hurts your hands more. 1.00

01:16:10.000 It cuts you up.

01:16:11.000 Everybody gets cut open.

01:16:12.000 It's a much more realistic version of fighting.

01:16:15.000 And that's what they were doing in Brazil.

01:16:17.000 It didn't get...

01:16:18.000 Like, when they brought it to America, when Horry and Gracie created the UFC and brought it to America in 93, when they had their very first event, they had to kind of do some rules.

01:16:29.000 So they had a cage.

01:16:30.000 You know?

01:16:31.000 They had, like, you know...

01:16:32.000 But it was all...

01:16:34.000 No time limit.

01:16:35.000 Every fight was till the fight was over.

01:16:38.000 See, that's what's crazy to me.

01:16:40.000 Every fight in the UFC, those fights were Hoist Gracie was armbarring everybody. 0.94

01:16:43.000 And there was no weight.

01:16:44.000 There was no rounds.

01:16:44.000 There was no weights.

01:16:46.000 Hoist weighed 176 pounds.

01:16:49.000 That was his second pro fight.

01:16:50.000 He had already fought once in the UFC by then.

01:16:53.000 Oh, wow.

01:16:54.000 So UFC 17 in Mobile, Alabama.

01:16:58.000 With a decision over Noe Hernandez.

01:16:59.000 I was there for that.

01:17:00.000 So the next fight he did that, bare knuckle.

01:17:04.000 Wow.

01:17:04.000 Yeah, something I just found said it was a 30-minute, no rounds, no breaks, no gloves, very few rules.

01:17:10.000 Wow.

01:17:10.000 Headbutts, groin strikes, kicking in the knees to the back of the downed opponent, strikes to the back of the head are all allowed.

01:17:17.000 1998. He was 28 years old and he weighed 198 pounds.

01:17:21.000 Wow.

01:17:22.000 Wow.

01:17:23.000 That's crazy.

01:17:24.000 Yeah, and that was back when there was no glory.

01:17:28.000 No glory.

01:17:28.000 Very little fanfare.

01:17:30.000 Very little fanfare.

01:17:31.000 The UFC's weight limit was 200 back then.

01:17:33.000 There was a 200-pound weight class.

01:17:35.000 Like, right around then, they started putting in a weight class.

01:17:37.000 So, like, when Tito Ortiz was a champ, it was like, I believe it was 200. And then they moved it up to 205 later.

01:17:43.000 They changed it.

01:17:44.000 But I think, like, when Frank Shamrock was a champ, I believe the weight class was 200. And you couldn't be over that?

01:17:50.000 Yeah, that was like, I think there was like a couple of weight classes.

01:17:53.000 I think they started instituting weight classes, and they had like a 55, and then they had like a 70, and then they started sticking them all in there.

01:18:01.000 And then it became, you know, what it is today, which I still think is underweight classed.

01:18:06.000 I think they should have several more.

01:18:08.000 I think they should have one- Higher?

01:18:09.000 No, all throughout the range.

01:18:11.000 I feel like there should be one every 10 pounds.

01:18:14.000 And right now we have these giant gaps that don't necessarily make sense.

01:18:17.000 Like we have a huge gap from 155 to 170. That's 15 pounds.

01:18:25.000 That's a big difference in a human being.

01:18:27.000 Like how much bigger and stronger a person is and how they can cut down to 170 versus a guy who really weighs like 175 and he cuts to 170. It's like a giant difference between those 205 pound guys that can make that weight cut.

01:18:41.000 I feel like if we add a 75, 85, so 55, 65, 75, 85, 95, 205, 225 heavyweight.

01:18:50.000 That makes sense to me.

01:18:52.000 So you're saying above 225? 0.97

01:18:54.000 Above 225 should be whatever the fuck you weigh, because right now it's not. 0.96

01:18:58.000 Right now the heavyweight limit, as ridiculous as it is, is 265 pounds. 0.94

01:19:04.000 You can't weigh more than 265 pounds in a championship heavyweight fight.

01:19:07.000 But even...

01:19:08.000 So wait a minute.

01:19:09.000 So the heavyweight division goes from 205 to 265. Exactly.

01:19:14.000 That...

01:19:14.000 Now that seems...

01:19:15.000 Crazy.

01:19:16.000 Nuts. 0.99

01:19:17.000 That's crazy. 0.75

01:19:18.000 That's crazy.

01:19:19.000 When you got guys like Francis, it becomes crazy.

01:19:21.000 Touch of death, 6'5", 265 natural.

01:19:26.000 Francis gets above 265 when he's not training.

01:19:29.000 But he's not allowed to be.

01:19:30.000 When he fights.

01:19:31.000 When he fights, he has to lean out.

01:19:33.000 So we're saying 10 pounds makes a difference in every other division except the biggest one.

01:19:38.000 Well, in the biggest one, they just say, hey, decide what you are.

01:19:41.000 Are you a light heavyweight or are you a heavyweight? 0.99

01:19:43.000 But isn't their problem, though, that there's not enough Francis Saz motherfuckers running around? 1.00

01:19:49.000 Right. 0.99

01:19:50.000 And if they are, they're going to football.

01:19:53.000 Right.

01:19:54.000 Yeah.

01:19:54.000 If you want to get, like, an elite American athlete that thinks he's going to have a future, making millions of dollars, and you're a 6'5 kid and you're huge, you don't get into MMA. And a lot of those guys, they would have a hard time making 265. How about that?

01:20:09.000 What would Francis Ngannou even be in another sport?

01:20:13.000 There's this kid that went viral playing basketball right now for NC State.

01:20:17.000 Is he Cameroonian?

01:20:19.000 No, he's just a really good basketball player.

01:20:20.000 He's 6'9", 275, and they're already like NFL scouts are trying to get him to play football instead of basketball. 1.00

01:20:27.000 Oh, you're a damn fool. 1.00

01:20:28.000 You bet not. 1.00

01:20:30.000 Basketball, you don't get brain damage.

01:20:32.000 You don't get brain damage, and their contracts are fully guaranteed.

01:20:36.000 So all your money's guaranteed.

01:20:38.000 If you get hurt, all that.

01:20:40.000 Oh, that's better.

01:20:41.000 The NFL will never do that.

01:20:43.000 Yeah, they can't.

01:20:45.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:20:46.000 Yeah, if it's my kid, and he gets to choose between the NFL and any other major sports, I'm taking the other one.

01:20:53.000 100%.

01:20:53.000 All day.

01:20:54.000 For sure.

01:20:55.000 Yeah, all day.

01:20:56.000 You don't want those knocks.

01:20:57.000 And the baseball players...

01:20:58.000 They're making tons of money.

01:21:00.000 All guaranteed.

01:21:01.000 If you hear a football player got a $50 million contract, it's not $50 million. 0.82

01:21:07.000 It's $10 million guaranteed with bonuses of this and shit like that.

01:21:12.000 But if you hear that a baseball player got a... 0.66

01:21:15.000 That Japanese dude, did he just get a half a billion dollars?

01:21:18.000 He's getting all that money, every single penny.

01:21:20.000 He deferred it just like Bobby Bonilla did, which is a pretty fun story.

01:21:23.000 So the Japanese dude, is that the dude who has the gambling problem? 0.93

01:21:27.000 Maybe.

01:21:27.000 Is that a...

01:21:28.000 No, you think it's somebody else.

01:21:30.000 Is that that guy?

01:21:31.000 Yeah, Shoei Otani.

01:21:32.000 Yeah, Shoei Otani.

01:21:33.000 So that dude gambles.

01:21:35.000 What's the story?

01:21:36.000 They said his interpreter took a bunch, or he said his interpreter gambled.

01:21:39.000 Okay, let me ask you this.

01:21:41.000 Do you think that the situation with someone like that, who comes from another country, Do you think that maybe organized crime comes with him a little bit?

01:21:54.000 I've heard that, but also there's a lot of...

01:21:56.000 A little bit?

01:21:56.000 A little bit of like Yakuza action?

01:21:58.000 I mean, that's definitely...

01:22:00.000 A little taste?

01:22:00.000 That's definitely feasible, just because his family's back there.

01:22:03.000 Yeah.

01:22:04.000 So it's like, if I want to exploit you somehow...

01:22:06.000 Also, he might have a meaningful relationship with those people.

01:22:10.000 But also, though, a half a billion dollars is enough to...

01:22:13.000 Well, you were unbossed at that point.

01:22:15.000 You just have somebody wiped out.

01:22:17.000 You can flip it on them. 0.99

01:22:19.000 If I'm worth half a billion dollars, ain't nobody telling me what to fucking do. 0.98

01:22:23.000 Right. 0.98

01:22:24.000 No way.

01:22:25.000 Because you're at that point now where you have power.

01:22:28.000 That's the kind of money that...

01:22:31.000 No mafia boss is exploiting you when you're a billionaire.

01:22:34.000 He doesn't have it yet, technically.

01:22:36.000 Yeah, but that don't matter.

01:22:38.000 Yeah, but he might have a relationship with that.

01:22:40.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:22:41.000 I mean, I'm not saying he does, but I'm saying that in certain situations, like if you get in bed with organized crime and they help you in your career, like there was always insinuations that Frank Sinatra was involved in the mob, for instance.

01:22:53.000 Oh, right, right, yeah.

01:22:54.000 You know, and you would imagine that like Frank Sinatra would probably be a terrible guy to piss off because he probably can contact some people and you probably can disappear.

01:23:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:23:06.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:23:07.000 100%, right?

01:23:08.000 So a guy like that, if he wants to leave the connection with the mob, I bet that's pretty dicey.

01:23:15.000 Yeah.

01:23:15.000 I bet that's real dicey.

01:23:16.000 So you just stay with them.

01:23:18.000 But what would the mob do for a baseball player?

01:23:20.000 I don't know.

01:23:22.000 I don't know, but I would imagine, I mean, what are we talking about, the Yakuza?

01:23:26.000 I think most really sophisticated organized crime companies, you call them a company, I think they probably have strategies to maximize their income in all sorts of ways.

01:23:38.000 Yeah.

01:23:38.000 And they probably offer protection so that, you know, you don't have to worry about people fucking with you, and in return, you give them a certain amount of money per month.

01:23:47.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:23:48.000 Does it never mean Otani's not a smart guy?

01:23:50.000 Does it?

01:23:51.000 Or does it mean that that's the cost of doing business where he lived?

01:23:54.000 No, I mean now.

01:23:56.000 It's like, how the Japanese mob gonna protect you in America? 1.00

01:23:59.000 You don't think they can do things over here?

01:24:01.000 I mean, they probably could do a couple things, but they don't have like a...

01:24:05.000 If you're gonna have someone whacked, that would be the coolest guy to have someone whacked. 0.86

01:24:07.000 A Japanese assassin. 0.90

01:24:08.000 But to be like, I'm gonna protect you full time all over America?

01:24:12.000 I don't know.

01:24:13.000 That's possible.

01:24:14.000 Yeah.

01:24:15.000 I don't know.

01:24:16.000 No.

01:24:17.000 But half a billion dollars for playing a game?

01:24:20.000 So what was the problem?

01:24:21.000 They said that he was gambling on something he shouldn't have gambled on?

01:24:24.000 Is that what it is?

01:24:25.000 Well, it's a multi-layered problem because, first of all, he has an interpreter with him at all times, I think.

01:24:33.000 So how much into his financial life does that guy have the ability to get in to do things?

01:24:40.000 And what was the accusation?

01:24:43.000 I'm trying to find out the first one.

01:24:46.000 I only know about it because Andrew Schultz had a joke where he was talking about him gambling.

01:24:53.000 I don't understand why he's not allowed to gamble.

01:24:55.000 As long as he's betting on himself to win.

01:24:59.000 That's a hard rule to know in baseball.

01:25:01.000 Why you can't bet on yourself?

01:25:04.000 Most sports, actually.

01:25:05.000 That's a new rule at the UFC. What?

01:25:08.000 You can't gamble.

01:25:09.000 No one from the organization can gamble on the fights.

01:25:13.000 But what I'm saying is, and that makes perfect sense, but I'm saying the fighters should be able to gamble so long as they're betting on themselves to win.

01:25:22.000 Right.

01:25:23.000 I think so.

01:25:24.000 As long as they're betting on themselves to win.

01:25:26.000 A football player got in trouble for that recently.

01:25:28.000 He gambled on his team to win in a game that he wasn't playing in because he was hurt.

01:25:34.000 And he got in trouble.

01:25:35.000 I thought it was more than $4.5 million.

01:25:37.000 I didn't want to state it without it.

01:25:39.000 His claim was his interpreter took $4.5 million to pay off gambling debts from an illegal bookie.

01:25:46.000 Oh, that's under federal investigation.

01:25:48.000 So they were saying that it was his money, and he was saying, no, my former interpreter, he stole that money, and he paid off his gambling debts.

01:25:57.000 That might be true.

01:25:58.000 Some people don't believe the story.

01:26:00.000 They think that he was just gambling and blaming it on this guy.

01:26:03.000 It says, Otani said he was unaware of the payments and never bet on sports with the bookie.

01:26:09.000 But even if that's true, it's like, okay, well, you're the fall guy.

01:26:12.000 That was your job from the beginning, is to go gamble for me so that it didn't get connected to me.

01:26:18.000 Yeah, it's a little fishy.

01:26:21.000 It does sound a little convenient.

01:26:23.000 A little convenient.

01:26:24.000 You didn't notice $4.5 million missing.

01:26:26.000 Right.

01:26:27.000 So you fired him but didn't...

01:26:31.000 You find him but didn't say nothing about him gambling then.

01:26:34.000 Right, right, right.

01:26:36.000 Yeah, but it's like, that's your job.

01:26:38.000 Take that fall.

01:26:40.000 You know he didn't do anything because they didn't take any of his money or penalize him in any way, did they?

01:26:46.000 Well, if they can't definitively tie him to that...

01:26:51.000 I don't know what they can do.

01:26:52.000 I don't know how that works.

01:26:53.000 If they actually get the guy, and they could get the guy to admit that he used the money, and he embezzled the money, I don't know what the story is.

01:27:01.000 It sounds like, oh, I don't believe him, but it could be true. 1.00

01:27:05.000 We're just talking shit. 0.98

01:27:06.000 But how does baseball have that much money? 0.99

01:27:09.000 People love it.

01:27:10.000 I don't know anyone that watches baseball.

01:27:12.000 Not as their number one sport.

01:27:14.000 Some people love it.

01:27:15.000 They love it.

01:27:16.000 They love baseball.

01:27:17.000 They live for it.

01:27:18.000 They live for it.

01:27:19.000 Ari loves it.

01:27:20.000 He loves going to the games.

01:27:21.000 Loves it.

01:27:23.000 $10 billion in revenue in 2022. Jesus.

01:27:26.000 Ten billion?

01:27:27.000 Yeah.

01:27:27.000 They have huge TV deal contracts because it's on all summer when there's no other sports on.

01:27:32.000 And there's 32 teams and games last three hours, you know?

01:27:35.000 It's also casual sport watching.

01:27:38.000 Sports betting.

01:27:39.000 So you watch baseball while you're hanging out with your buddies.

01:27:42.000 Yeah, you don't have to pay attention. 0.99

01:27:43.000 And you can talk about all kinds of other shit. 1.00

01:27:46.000 You can bullshit while the game's going on. 1.00

01:27:48.000 You're not locked until the guy's throwing the pitch. 0.99

01:27:51.000 There's a lot of downtime. 1.00

01:27:52.000 You're talking shit. 1.00

01:27:53.000 You know what Debbie told me? 1.00

01:27:54.000 Tell me if this is ridiculous. 0.97

01:27:56.000 And you start talking, and you're drinking. 0.96

01:27:58.000 You want another hot dog? 1.00

01:27:59.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:27:59.000 If you're watching Anderson Silva fight Vitor Belfort, you're fucking glued. 1.00

01:28:04.000 You're like, shut the fuck up! 1.00

01:28:06.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00

01:28:07.000 Like, you don't want anybody talking to you about bills. 1.00

01:28:10.000 You want to what?

01:28:11.000 What is happening?

01:28:12.000 What is happening?

01:28:12.000 This is so crazy.

01:28:13.000 That's what people... 1.00

01:28:14.000 I get a lot of shit from my own friend group. 1.00

01:28:16.000 You see everybody gives me shit all the time. 1.00

01:28:18.000 Because I'm a... 0.99

01:28:20.000 You know, I have very peculiar ways of doing some things.

01:28:24.000 And one of those things is I prefer to watch sports and stuff alone.

01:28:28.000 I'm not trying to have a Super Bowl get-together because I'd rather buy the food I want to eat and only have the sounds I want to hear around people.

01:28:39.000 There's very few people that I would rather watch it with them than by myself.

01:28:45.000 Yeah.

01:28:46.000 Nah, I like to go to the movies alone.

01:28:48.000 Anything where I gotta pay attention to something, I like to do by myself.

01:28:51.000 Yeah, I've been watching Shogun alone.

01:28:53.000 I watch it with my dog, but I've been watching Shogun alone.

01:28:56.000 The only series I've watched alone in a long time.

01:28:58.000 It's awesome.

01:28:59.000 We don't have to talk.

01:29:00.000 It's the only way to go.

01:29:01.000 Dude, it's...

01:29:02.000 Going to see a fight live is the best way to see it, for sure.

01:29:09.000 But watching a fight alone at home...

01:29:13.000 Like, when I can watch the fights alone, like it's fights in Europe or somewhere, I'm not there.

01:29:17.000 It's just me alone at home just sitting in the theater, like staring at the screen, watching the fight.

01:29:22.000 I am so locked in, man.

01:29:24.000 That's the best.

01:29:24.000 I love it.

01:29:25.000 I find myself talking.

01:29:27.000 There's no variables.

01:29:28.000 Right.

01:29:29.000 Yeah.

01:29:30.000 It's fun. 0.99

01:29:34.000 That is a fucking experience, man. 0.99

01:29:36.000 I can pause it when I want. 1.00

01:29:38.000 I can walk away from it.

01:29:39.000 I can stop.

01:29:40.000 I can call somebody. 1.00

01:29:41.000 Take a shit. 1.00

01:29:43.000 It's the best. 1.00

01:29:44.000 Check your text messages.

01:29:45.000 Get right back to it.

01:29:46.000 Because you know what it is?

01:29:46.000 I don't like having people there that aren't trying to watch.

01:29:52.000 The thing about Super Bowl parties is there's people there that's not into football, and they're interested in the event that is the party, not the game.

01:30:03.000 So it's like, I just want to watch football.

01:30:08.000 I'm not here for the hors d'oeuvres and cute outfits.

01:30:11.000 I feel you.

01:30:12.000 Yeah.

01:30:13.000 Halftime show.

01:30:14.000 Nah, I could miss every single one.

01:30:17.000 Yeah, I don't...

01:30:19.000 I'm so glad they don't do a fight.

01:30:21.000 Halftime show?

01:30:23.000 No, you know the interesting...

01:30:24.000 Have a rapper come out or something, have some band.

01:30:26.000 No, the interesting story just came out during this last Super Bowl that the Waynes brothers are the reason that there's a halftime show in the Super Bowl.

01:30:38.000 I watched that.

01:30:40.000 I watched that live as a halftime show at a pool hall.

01:30:43.000 It was the first time I ever saw In Living Color.

01:30:45.000 Yeah, me too.

01:30:46.000 Well, it wasn't my first time seeing In Living Color, but everyone watched it, you know?

01:30:49.000 And it was like, yeah, the NFL was like, oh, no, we're not giving up these ratings.

01:30:54.000 Yeah, because everybody knew for a half hour is just nonsense and chitter chatter.

01:30:58.000 Right, before that, before Michael Jackson, because Michael Jackson is the first one you remember, that everyone remembers, the first halftime show.

01:31:04.000 When people say halftime show, that's what they're talking about.

01:31:07.000 Because before that, it was just every other football game. 0.99

01:31:10.000 It was just marching bands and regular shit. 0.99

01:31:14.000 And the NFL was like, oh, we're going to drop a nuke. 1.00

01:31:17.000 Our answer next year is Michael Jackson.

01:31:20.000 You know?

01:31:21.000 Everyone changing the channel with all that revenue they were losing?

01:31:24.000 Exactly.

01:31:25.000 And then with Michael Jackson, you're gonna get people that will watch the Super Bowl now that wouldn't have watched the Super Bowl because they're gonna get to see Michael Jackson perform.

01:31:34.000 I don't think people understand how big Michael Jackson was.

01:31:38.000 I don't think they understand it because they weren't alive when it was happening.

01:31:54.000 They're huge today in the era of social media, in the era of, you know, it's just a different world of sharing from streaming platforms.

01:32:03.000 Someone huge today, you can't take away from Taylor Swift being huge, but there's a lot of people that are huge today.

01:32:08.000 It's not like then.

01:32:10.000 Then there was one guy that was the guy.

01:32:14.000 And he wasn't just, he was huge from the time he was like five years old until the day he died.

01:32:21.000 He could literally have people passing out in Japan.

01:32:25.000 They couldn't stand being near him.

01:32:27.000 They'd freak out.

01:32:28.000 The world is just set up differently where there could not be another Michael Jackson.

01:32:35.000 No.

01:32:35.000 It's a different world, but there's a few guys that broke through, and it's just like they ran to the top of Everest with no oxygen, and there was just no support system for them.

01:32:45.000 Nobody had ever been there before, so nobody even knew this could be a thing.

01:32:50.000 You had Elvis, who got there, and he died, and then you have Michael Jackson, right?

01:32:55.000 And nobody else has ever really gotten that big.

01:32:58.000 Oh, the Beatles?

01:32:59.000 The Beatles?

01:32:59.000 Yeah, I guess the Beatles did.

01:33:00.000 But Michael Jackson was an individual.

01:33:03.000 Yeah.

01:33:04.000 When you see the silhouette of him with the top hat, And when the lights would go on, bro, people would go insane.

01:33:14.000 Yeah.

01:33:14.000 And he was dancing and moving.

01:33:17.000 When you see that, show me that thing when you see him when he comes out on stage.

01:33:21.000 People forget that at that Super Bowl, that one where he just stood there for the first, like, two minutes.

01:33:26.000 Yeah, dude.

01:33:27.000 Dude, he was something really unusual.

01:33:34.000 Get into the silhouette here.

01:33:35.000 Oh, they didn't do it there, but when he gets out there, bro, when they see him...

01:33:39.000 Gotta be careful.

01:33:47.000 Yeah, we've probably already got...

01:33:49.000 I mean, we're just watching it.

01:33:49.000 I just want to make sure the...

01:33:50.000 What the fuck, though, dude? 0.99

01:33:55.000 How about these other dudes that are working with him going, when do I get my shine? 1.00

01:34:00.000 You know, if you're in the Michael Jackson band and you're standing right next to him, you're invisible.

01:34:08.000 You're in front of millions of people, but you're invisible because that guy shines so bright.

01:34:13.000 That guy shines so bright that no one sees anybody else there.

01:34:16.000 The guy next to him, he's like doing his best, man.

01:34:19.000 Look at him.

01:34:20.000 He's singing.

01:34:20.000 He's doing his best.

01:34:21.000 Nobody gives a shit. 0.99

01:34:22.000 That guy could just stop. 0.99

01:34:24.000 I bet you he's not even saying anything.

01:34:26.000 Yeah, it's probably lip synced.

01:34:28.000 Did they used to do that back then?

01:34:31.000 I don't think Michael Jackson did that.

01:34:33.000 Way harder to do it back then. 0.96

01:34:34.000 Bro, the nuttiest one was that one on Saturday Night Live, where that girl, she was trying to lip-sync on Saturday Night Live, and the thing, like, fucked up. 0.88

01:34:44.000 Oh, was that, um... 0.98

01:34:45.000 Ashley Simpson.

01:34:46.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:34:48.000 Well, the thing is, I think people just have forgotten that that's how people do...

01:34:51.000 She didn't do anything...

01:34:53.000 No.

01:34:53.000 That nobody else does.

01:34:54.000 It's not like she didn't really sing that song.

01:34:56.000 She just wasn't performing it live.

01:34:58.000 And what people want is you to walk the tightrope.

01:35:02.000 Yeah, but what happens is what everyone does is they have their backing vocals live.

01:35:07.000 Like all the harmonizing vocals and stuff.

01:35:10.000 And almost no one sings every part of the song live.

01:35:18.000 Or they might hire backup singers to do the harmonizing part.

01:35:22.000 But Michael Johnson couldn't do that.

01:35:24.000 If you ever watch one of his little engineering sessions, it's like 19 different voice tracks.

01:35:29.000 Every little, ooh, and ah, and all that is all separate tracks.

01:35:34.000 So all that has to be played through the speakers.

01:35:36.000 Oh, wow.

01:35:39.000 But people full-on lip-syncing where it's the whole track plan for them?

01:35:43.000 You also have to think that a lot of the recorded stuff has been manipulated, right?

01:35:48.000 Like he was doing crazy voice stuff.

01:35:50.000 And then on top of that, he's dancing.

01:35:52.000 So how much cardio is that dude burning off?

01:35:56.000 You have to be in shape to do a Michael Jackson show. 0.99

01:35:59.000 He's fucking dancing and moving and moving and walking. 0.99

01:36:02.000 You're gonna get out of breath. 0.99

01:36:04.000 So you have to sing while you're doing that in perfect pitch?

01:36:06.000 So this is Michael Jackson doing his vocals for Thriller.

01:36:08.000 But each of these layers you see is like a different tone.

01:36:12.000 So it'd be like him doing his own choir, if you will.

01:36:15.000 So he's got like the bass and then the falsetto.

01:36:18.000 And it does each little, shows you what he's doing.

01:36:21.000 You start to free.

01:36:27.000 You start to free.

01:36:32.000 You start to freeze!

01:36:37.000 You start to freeze!

01:36:42.000 Wow!

01:36:43.000 Right?

01:36:45.000 That's done now with a bunch of tricks, but back then, you either could kind of do it or you couldn't.

01:36:51.000 Wow.

01:36:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:36:53.000 So it's just layered.

01:36:55.000 It's all layered.

01:36:55.000 It's all layered and all that.

01:36:57.000 Jamie's fucking audio skills coming to work right there. 0.99

01:36:59.000 You understand it. 0.99

01:37:00.000 This is a thing.

01:37:02.000 I was actually going to bring up another point, but I'm not going to get into that right now.

01:37:05.000 Someone else that's going viral on TikTok and their use of these tricks.

01:37:09.000 What do you mean?

01:37:10.000 In TikTok?

01:37:11.000 For singing?

01:37:11.000 I saw someone getting called out, yeah.

01:37:13.000 Called out?

01:37:15.000 Cinema Jennifer Lopez's songs have been called out recently.

01:37:19.000 For what?

01:37:20.000 Like, there's this...

01:37:21.000 It's how they produce the songs.

01:37:23.000 The big one I saw today was a backup singer. 1.00

01:37:26.000 Her name's, I think, Natasha Ramos.

01:37:29.000 She's claiming, which I think was true, she was paid to sing the song as a demo, and then J-Lo comes in and re-sings it, sort of.

01:37:38.000 But then, in the engineering, it sounds like the song that was released was more of her vocals than J-Lo's, according to her.

01:37:45.000 And this is one song?

01:37:46.000 And then there's multiple songs people are sort of digging up that like, what about this song?

01:37:50.000 What about this song?

01:37:51.000 How many songs did she actually sing?

01:37:54.000 Huh.

01:37:54.000 Yeah, there's been more and more claims.

01:37:57.000 It came up today, this girl was responding to someone else, another backup singer, making some claims about a few songs that she worked on.

01:38:04.000 Bro, I don't even know...

01:38:07.000 A Jennifer Lopez song.

01:38:09.000 I couldn't...

01:38:10.000 Jenny on the block.

01:38:11.000 That's the one.

01:38:12.000 That's the one that she's talking about.

01:38:13.000 She's like, that's me actually saying, like, from the Bronx and this and that.

01:38:17.000 Jayla's voice is on there somewhere in the mix. 0.99

01:38:19.000 Damn. 0.99

01:38:19.000 I'll say they mixed her with this other girl's voice. 0.99

01:38:22.000 But I'm just like, but did you get paid for that?

01:38:25.000 I would assume so.

01:38:27.000 That's the thing.

01:38:27.000 You should...

01:38:28.000 Because I'm not about the people that are like, that you signed up... 0.88

01:38:32.000 You signed up for a shitty deal so you could get ahead of it.

01:38:36.000 Is that technically background singing? 0.69

01:38:38.000 If she's singing over it, how would that even work?

01:38:42.000 What would you call that?

01:38:44.000 If she's singing over it, that's not really background singing, right?

01:38:47.000 That's why I tried it like it's a demo.

01:38:48.000 I don't know, it's like tracing the lines.

01:38:50.000 But the whole business is set up to... 0.99

01:38:53.000 Everyone's getting fucked. 1.00

01:38:55.000 The shit rolls downhill. 1.00

01:38:56.000 That's how the whole business is set up. 1.00

01:38:57.000 Well, the wildest one was Milli Vanilli.

01:39:01.000 That's the wildest.

01:39:03.000 That's when everyone knew.

01:39:04.000 Well, that's where it all fell apart.

01:39:07.000 That's where it all fell apart. 0.97

01:39:08.000 Where people are like, oh my god, these fucking record companies have produced humans that we feel are perfectly desirable physically, but they can't sing the way we want them to do, so we'll get other people to sing it. 0.96

01:39:22.000 Well, apparently, the dude behind Milli Vanilli, he was behind a ton of other people. 0.97

01:39:27.000 Yeah.

01:39:27.000 So over there where they were from, I don't know if it was Italy or France or whatever, but it was like a thing back then at the time.

01:39:36.000 It was nothing for a brilliant artist to like basically foster a pop star, you know?

01:39:44.000 It wasn't a big deal over there where they were from.

01:39:46.000 It was something everyone did that was talented.

01:39:48.000 Really?

01:39:49.000 Yes.

01:39:51.000 And they got away for a long time over here, but Americans weren't aware of that.

01:39:56.000 Foster a pop star is an interesting way of putting it.

01:39:59.000 But there's a difference between that and creating a fake star with someone else's singing.

01:40:05.000 You got some homely looking person who's singing, and then you got Milli Vanilli who's out there dancing it.

01:40:12.000 That was the problem.

01:40:13.000 No, but that's what I'm saying.

01:40:14.000 They all did it.

01:40:15.000 They all would go get models to perform their songs.

01:40:20.000 But what I'm saying is where they were from, it was known and it wasn't looked down upon.

01:40:25.000 Bro, they would do that in comedy if they could do it.

01:40:27.000 If they could pull it off.

01:40:29.000 Oh, they do do that in comedy, don't they?

01:40:30.000 Well, that's what managers of thieves are doing. 0.59

01:40:33.000 Oh, you're saying like, oh, they could create a comedy style?

01:40:36.000 Like hire a bunch of comics to be writers?

01:40:38.000 Yeah, find some cute guy who's really good at telling jokes and just hire a team of people to write for them, just like the record companies do.

01:40:46.000 That might be a better deal to be the man behind the man.

01:40:53.000 If you made a substantial enough amount, I think that's probably better than being famous.

01:40:57.000 Well, some people like to work with comics, and some comics employ writers.

01:41:01.000 So they employ writers that come with them, and then they'll workshop ideas, and maybe the writers will come to them with premises.

01:41:08.000 Some of my friends write for comics.

01:41:10.000 They write for people.

01:41:11.000 I like that.

01:41:12.000 Yeah.

01:41:12.000 They'll sell them bits, you know, or they'll sell them premises or setups or, you know, things like that.

01:41:19.000 Because some guys are just spitting out ideas all the time.

01:41:22.000 Like Kurt Metzger does a lot of that.

01:41:23.000 Yeah, they just got a computer.

01:41:25.000 Just got to write it down.

01:41:26.000 All that's, you know, I have zero problem with that.

01:41:30.000 But I think there's a thing that people want to see with comedy.

01:41:33.000 Like, I want to know what Brian Simpson thinks.

01:41:36.000 Right.

01:41:37.000 I don't want to know what a committee thinks.

01:41:39.000 That consults with Bryan Simpson and then Bryan Simpson presents his argument.

01:41:43.000 I want to know what you really think.

01:41:45.000 And I think that's one of the really rare, unique things about stand-up.

01:41:48.000 Like, Bill Burr is the best at that.

01:41:50.000 Like, Bill Burr is the best at getting his perspectives out in a hilarious way.

01:41:56.000 And you know that he's not consulting with anybody when he's formulating these bits. 0.99

01:42:00.000 This is Bill Burr going, hey, what the fuck is this? 0.98

01:42:03.000 And bam, and then it becomes this hilarious bit. 0.98

01:42:08.000 I think I would hire writers if they were like, quick, you hosting the Grammys tomorrow.

01:42:15.000 I think you would need writers.

01:42:16.000 A hundred percent.

01:42:17.000 You know?

01:42:18.000 That's a different animal.

01:42:19.000 That's a different animal.

01:42:20.000 Then you really don't want to, you know, Joe Coy it.

01:42:23.000 You want to bring in some experts.

01:42:24.000 Well, that's one of the lessons to learn.

01:42:26.000 It's like anybody asking you to do something at the last minute, they did not want you in the first place.

01:42:31.000 Yeah.

01:42:31.000 Also, they can't get anybody else to do it because it's a sucky gig.

01:42:35.000 Right.

01:42:35.000 It's like, Joe Coy's got his material that he works out, that he's got down solid.

01:42:42.000 He's got a giant fan base.

01:42:43.000 You're asking him to step into a totally different genre, write jokes about things he might not even be interested in, and do it all in 10 days.

01:42:51.000 And I bet you he didn't get to hire any of the writers.

01:42:54.000 I don't know, man.

01:42:56.000 I don't know what happened, but don't do that.

01:42:59.000 I mean, there's no way I would do it last minute with the people you picked.

01:43:05.000 It's like, you got three days to write some jokes for an award show?

01:43:07.000 It's like, I'm bringing in all the hitters.

01:43:10.000 Look how much Chris Rock blew up after he stopped doing the Oscar thing.

01:43:16.000 So Chris Rock gets slapped by Will Smith, and then everybody wants to see Chris Rock.

01:43:20.000 And Chris Rock's selling out arenas and murdering.

01:43:24.000 Everybody I know this song.

01:43:26.000 Tommy went to see him, he said, dude, it was insane.

01:43:28.000 He goes, it was vintage.

01:43:29.000 Bring the pain, Chris Rock.

01:43:31.000 He goes, it's like Chris Rock came all the way back. 0.98

01:43:34.000 Just let go of all that Hollywood Oscars bullshit because they've failed him in the most transparent and obvious way. 0.82

01:43:46.000 He gets assaulted on stage and then they give Will Smith a standing ovation later when he wins an award. 0.97

01:43:53.000 Like, you just gave the green light for people to hit people if they don't like the person who's doing very mild jokes.

01:44:01.000 Very mild.

01:44:03.000 It's interesting.

01:44:04.000 Their career's gonna always be connected, too.

01:44:06.000 They're gonna always ask both of them about it.

01:44:08.000 Forever and ever and ever and ever.

01:44:09.000 And it's so unfortunate.

01:44:11.000 It's just...

01:44:11.000 But, you know, that's a Michael Jackson-type deal.

01:44:16.000 Will Smith got so big.

01:44:18.000 He got so famous and so used to being Will Smith that he thought he could get on stage and slap Chris Rock in front of the world.

01:44:28.000 Yeah.

01:44:29.000 It's the ultimate, like...

01:44:31.000 I mean, he did, though.

01:44:32.000 He could.

01:44:33.000 Physically.

01:44:33.000 But that's also part of the problem.

01:44:36.000 Like, he's not going to do that if it's Michael Jai White.

01:44:40.000 Right.

01:44:41.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:44:41.000 Like, he's not gonna do that to someone who will just fuck him up. 0.99

01:44:44.000 I would love to test that theory. 0.99

01:44:46.000 But you know what I'm saying?

01:44:47.000 There's probably an AI that could answer that.

01:44:49.000 Like, if you go on stage and hit a guy that you can hit anytime you want to, because he can't defend you, that's so much different than going on stage and smacking Terry Crews.

01:45:00.000 Right, right.

01:45:01.000 He still hasn't recovered either.

01:45:03.000 Like, is he still...

01:45:04.000 No, it probably feels terrible.

01:45:06.000 He probably wakes up in the middle of the night when he has to take a piss.

01:45:08.000 You go, why did I do that?

01:45:10.000 I think Chris won't take his call either.

01:45:14.000 You know.

01:45:14.000 He's like, hey man, just because you're ready to be sorry don't mean I've got to talk to you right now.

01:45:19.000 Yeah, man, I mean, I think you've got to go way out of your way if you want to talk to that guy.

01:45:24.000 You know, I don't think it's as simple as a phone call.

01:45:26.000 You should probably, like, fly to him.

01:45:28.000 Yeah.

01:45:29.000 Because also, what can he do?

01:45:30.000 What can that conversation do to...

01:45:32.000 Because what you really want is to be absolved of the guilt.

01:45:35.000 You'll never be absolved of the guilt because it just happened.

01:45:39.000 You're not going to take away the fact that it happened.

01:45:41.000 But you could let that person know that you are sincerely sorry.

01:45:46.000 And we've all done things in our life that we're sincerely sorry about.

01:45:50.000 Now, I don't think you should hold someone to mistakes.

01:45:52.000 I really don't.

01:45:53.000 Even in the case of Will Smith, like, that's not that big a deal.

01:45:57.000 He didn't hurt him.

01:45:58.000 He just, he barely hit him.

01:45:59.000 It was nothing.

01:46:01.000 Yeah, but he publicly emasculated him.

01:46:03.000 He did.

01:46:04.000 It was awful. 1.00

01:46:05.000 It was stupid. 1.00

01:46:06.000 But I'm saying it's not like he killed somebody. 1.00

01:46:08.000 Right, exactly.

01:46:09.000 You know?

01:46:09.000 It was fairly mild in the kind of assault that it was.

01:46:13.000 Right, but you know that in man world...

01:46:20.000 In the world of men, there's a line where the milder it gets, it's almost more disrespectful.

01:46:27.000 But here's the other thing in the world of men.

01:46:30.000 If you're as big as Will Smith, you don't ever slap a guy who's as little as Chris Rock.

01:46:37.000 True, true.

01:46:37.000 It's just not cool.

01:46:40.000 This is not fair in any way, shape, or form.

01:46:43.000 Unless that dude is doing something to harm You or someone with you or your family, your friends.

01:46:49.000 Unless that person is physically doing something, why are you hitting them?

01:46:52.000 That's crazy.

01:46:54.000 But you know what people were wrong about?

01:46:55.000 Him and Jada Pinkett still together.

01:46:57.000 That's crazy.

01:46:59.000 Yeah.

01:47:00.000 Still together.

01:47:01.000 Now I'm convinced they're never going to break up.

01:47:03.000 Abracadabra! 0.98

01:47:06.000 They're never going to break up.

01:47:07.000 Well, there's a book of potions in that house.

01:47:10.000 There's a book of potions in that house.

01:47:12.000 There's a black cat in that yard.

01:47:14.000 There's little dolls made of sticks with pins on them.

01:47:17.000 Yeah, I don't get it.

01:47:19.000 Some people want to be miserable.

01:47:20.000 She got that WAP fold, man. 0.61

01:47:22.000 Whatever it is.

01:47:24.000 Yeah.

01:47:25.000 Something's happening.

01:47:26.000 They like it together better than they like it apart.

01:47:29.000 Hey, maybe we're wrong.

01:47:31.000 Maybe it's the pressure of living publicly, which is a real thing.

01:47:36.000 I don't know.

01:47:37.000 I don't think it's even really that complicated.

01:47:40.000 I think it's just a situation where he is super duper crazy, head over heels in love with her, and she only cares about herself.

01:47:48.000 They just got a lot of money, so we see the results of it all, but we all know couples like that.

01:47:55.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful.

01:47:56.000 Those are the worst couples to see for me.

01:47:58.000 You gotta be careful who you're with.

01:48:01.000 Because you change depending upon who you're with.

01:48:05.000 You know, you're only at your best if you're with someone who's actually with you.

01:48:10.000 In your corner.

01:48:11.000 Really legit.

01:48:12.000 I heard Earthquake say this.

01:48:15.000 About them, specifically.

01:48:18.000 But just basically about how if you're...

01:48:20.000 If you're not proud of the person you're walking down the street with, you're not your full self.

01:48:26.000 You know, like something to that effect.

01:48:27.000 If you're not proud of the woman that you're with.

01:48:30.000 As a human being.

01:48:31.000 Right, right, right.

01:48:33.000 Not just a mess that's hot.

01:48:35.000 Yeah, like you see your friends and some people, they're with women and you can just see that they're just like exhausted. 0.73

01:48:42.000 They also get in fights publicly and they get humiliated publicly.

01:48:46.000 Tell all your business. 1.00

01:48:47.000 Oh yeah, why don't you tell them about your fucking dildos? 1.00

01:48:51.000 Come on, now I gotta pretend like I just learned that. 1.00

01:48:57.000 No! 0.99

01:48:58.000 Yeah, it's like, any of that shit, that shit just don't seem like it's worth it. 1.00

01:49:02.000 Yeah, that's the shit that Phil Hartman's wife used to do to him. 1.00

01:49:06.000 You always talk very... 1.00

01:49:09.000 Positively about Phil Hartman.

01:49:11.000 He was a great guy.

01:49:12.000 He really was.

01:49:13.000 He was a very unique guy.

01:49:15.000 Very interesting guy.

01:49:16.000 Became a pilot while we were on the show.

01:49:19.000 Like, took flight lessons.

01:49:21.000 In between, like, reading his lines, he would have his flight manuals.

01:49:25.000 He was reading and studying.

01:49:26.000 He became a pilot. 1.00

01:49:28.000 And his wife was a cunt? 1.00

01:49:30.000 Yeah, man, it wasn't good. 1.00

01:49:32.000 She shot him in his sleep and then killed herself. 0.82

01:49:35.000 It wasn't good.

01:49:36.000 Yeah, and she was just like, they had horrible fights, and she would humiliate them publicly. 0.99

01:49:42.000 She would say rude things about them publicly. 0.99

01:49:45.000 Like when we're out at some sort of a celebration, some dinner or something like that, she would say rude shit about them. 0.98

01:49:51.000 That's hard to get through. 0.84

01:49:52.000 Oh, it was like this deep-seated anger between the two of them, just exacerbated by cocaine.

01:50:01.000 I don't think he was doing that, but he smoked a lot of weed.

01:50:04.000 He liked weed.

01:50:06.000 Phil Hartman, he was a fun dude.

01:50:08.000 He was a very, very good dude.

01:50:09.000 But why put up with that?

01:50:11.000 I don't know, man.

01:50:12.000 I don't know.

01:50:13.000 I don't know.

01:50:14.000 I don't know.

01:50:15.000 I don't know.

01:50:15.000 I think some people are more terrified of being alone than they are of being in a bad relationship.

01:50:21.000 Because what's sadder than just a beaten man?

01:50:28.000 When you see a dude that's just defeated...

01:50:34.000 But someone has to lose in this life.

01:50:37.000 You know?

01:50:37.000 I mean, people have to realize that there's consequences.

01:50:41.000 Other people learn from their failures.

01:50:43.000 There's some sort of a mathematical equation to it all.

01:50:46.000 I don't think everybody can thrive, unfortunately.

01:50:49.000 I think everybody should have the opportunity to thrive, though, and that's the real disservice about the economic state of our country.

01:50:55.000 I think everybody should have the opportunity to thrive, but everybody's not going to thrive.

01:50:59.000 People are different.

01:51:01.000 They're just different.

01:51:02.000 They're different right out of the box.

01:51:03.000 And when you have kids, you see it right out of the box.

01:51:05.000 Like some kids are just crazy motivated to do things and other kids are just not.

01:51:10.000 And some kids are just really creative and other kids are just not. 0.91

01:51:14.000 And some kids are really interested in science and some kids don't give a fuck about science.

01:51:19.000 That's one of the hardest things for me is I'm 41 Almost all my friends have kids now.

01:51:27.000 I'm one of the only ones in the Friends that don't have kids, but I'm also uniquely positioned where I can be honest about your kids.

01:51:36.000 I gotta keep it to myself sometimes.

01:51:38.000 Sometimes I want to be like, we all know this one's not a winner.

01:51:42.000 Well, they can become winners.

01:51:43.000 Can they?

01:51:44.000 Yeah, some of them can.

01:51:46.000 They just have to find a thing that allows them to figure out the benefits of hard work.

01:51:52.000 If you can find a thing that you enjoy, like I met this dude once who lost like over a hundred pounds by playing Dance Dance Revolution.

01:52:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:52:02.000 Well, that's gonna take it off you.

01:52:03.000 But imagine that.

01:52:04.000 So he's this, like, very overweight guy.

01:52:06.000 And he loves video games, just kind of being a nerd and going to the video game place.

01:52:10.000 And he starts playing Dance Dance Revolution.

01:52:12.000 And he starts getting good at it.

01:52:14.000 And so he's playing it all the time. 1.00

01:52:15.000 So this motherfucker is burning calories. 1.00

01:52:17.000 And his body just changed. 1.00

01:52:19.000 From Dance Dance Revolution, from a video game, this dude's body changed.

01:52:23.000 And then his whole life changed.

01:52:25.000 Then he started eating well and working out.

01:52:27.000 And he started, like, it changed his whole life.

01:52:29.000 Changed his whole life.

01:52:30.000 And he went from being like, this guy's not going to make it, to like, oh, this guy's probably going to make something out of himself.

01:52:35.000 Because most people just don't know what to do, man, and they get trapped.

01:52:40.000 I don't know.

01:52:41.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:52:42.000 You know, the people that blow my mind are the people that have two shitty parents, and they still thrive. 0.92

01:52:51.000 When I meet people like that, because most of the time, when you meet people's parents, you already know what their fate's going to be. 1.00

01:52:57.000 From just, oh, your mother's a loser. 1.00

01:53:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:53:02.000 Right, right, right.

01:53:03.000 But sometimes you meet people and they have the opposite effect where they're like, I'm not going to be...

01:53:07.000 I'm going to be the opposite of my parents.

01:53:09.000 I'm going to thrive in spite of them.

01:53:12.000 You meet somebody that's nothing like their family?

01:53:14.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:53:15.000 You're like, how the fuck did you manage to not let any of these people rub off on you? 0.99

01:53:19.000 Right. 0.99

01:53:20.000 Yeah.

01:53:20.000 Well, I had a friend and his mother was an alcoholic.

01:53:25.000 And she would lock him in the house and when she would go out and drink it, she would lock him in his room.

01:53:31.000 And he had no food.

01:53:32.000 He had no water.

01:53:33.000 She'd be gone for days.

01:53:34.000 And to this day, this dude will never touch a drop of alcohol.

01:53:38.000 And he always, like, if there's, like, a little bit of food on your plate and we're at a restaurant, he said, no, I'll take that to go.

01:53:46.000 He'll take all food to go.

01:53:48.000 All food to go.

01:53:49.000 And he was wealthy at the time.

01:53:52.000 Yeah.

01:53:53.000 Yeah, that childhood should stick with you, man.

01:53:55.000 I don't know anybody, everybody I know that's got some kind of problem.

01:53:58.000 It started when they was kids.

01:53:59.000 Yeah.

01:54:00.000 There's like some kind of long-standing issue.

01:54:02.000 Yeah.

01:54:03.000 And if you're abused like that when you're little, learning to trust someone is almost out of the question.

01:54:10.000 Everybody could fail you in a catastrophic way, and you have to be prepared for that. 0.99

01:54:14.000 Imagine locking your kids in their room so you can go get fucked up. 1.00

01:54:18.000 Dude, the mind is a crazy playground of demons. 1.00

01:54:24.000 And those demons can get in your mind, and whether those demons are in the form of pills, or it's heroin, or it's gambling, or it's whatever the fuck it is, man. 0.99

01:54:35.000 Those demons get in your mind, and if it's that alcohol demon, and you just don't want to go out on a bender, and you don't give a fuck about that kid. 0.99

01:54:41.000 Yeah, I'm glad it's not my demon. 0.98

01:54:44.000 But you have to think also, what happened to her?

01:54:49.000 That she was willing to lock her kid in a room.

01:54:52.000 Like, that's not a normal parent that is allowed.

01:54:55.000 What happened to her?

01:54:56.000 Like, what abuse did she suffer? 0.88

01:54:58.000 And that's a lot of it.

01:55:00.000 You know, I always tell this about my friends from the East Coast.

01:55:04.000 Because East Coast, it's a different place.

01:55:08.000 Those cities like Philly and Boston and New York, the people that are from there, those are wild, rugged people. 0.91

01:55:17.000 Because they're the ancestors of the people that came over in boats when no one knew what the fuck was over here.

01:55:22.000 They just took a wild chance with their babies and came across the ocean in a boat to try to get a job in a place where they don't even speak the language. 0.85

01:55:30.000 And they just integrated.

01:55:31.000 They were wild people and they probably didn't do such a good job of raising their kids. 0.79

01:55:35.000 And then their kids probably didn't do such a good job of raising their kids because of that.

01:55:39.000 And it's just over time where people have been able to have access to psychology literature and understanding parenting.

01:55:47.000 The pros and cons and what went bad and what goes good.

01:55:50.000 And people are getting an understanding more and more.

01:55:53.000 When you're raising a kid, it's like the most complicated, sophisticated thing that we're aware of other than a computer.

01:56:01.000 And it doesn't have an operating manual.

01:56:04.000 What do I do when it cries?

01:56:05.000 What do I do when it screams? 1.00

01:56:06.000 What do I do when it throws shit? 0.99

01:56:08.000 What do I do when it doesn't want to eat its vegetables? 0.99

01:56:10.000 Like every kid from the 80s eventually read a book at one point and was like, oh, I was abused.

01:56:17.000 Okay, yeah.

01:56:19.000 Oh, you shouldn't hit kids.

01:56:20.000 That was not normal.

01:56:21.000 How weird. 1.00

01:56:22.000 Yo, my grandma had a fucking... 1.00

01:56:24.000 She would have shit crafted specifically for whooping your ass with. 1.00

01:56:28.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:56:29.000 I remember there was a...

01:56:31.000 She had one of those... 0.74

01:56:33.000 You know those paddles girls used to have with the bouncy ball on a string? 0.96

01:56:37.000 Yes.

01:56:37.000 She had one of those heavy-duty, had holes drilled in it.

01:56:41.000 Oh my god.

01:56:42.000 So when it hit your cheeks, it sucked up the skin so you got hurt on the way in and on the way out.

01:56:47.000 Ahhhh.

01:56:49.000 That was specifically for report cards. 0.99

01:56:51.000 So when it was report card season, it's like we broke that motherfucker, got broke out, polished up. 0.99

01:56:56.000 Let's look at this, let's look at these grades. 0.99

01:56:59.000 You know?

01:57:00.000 I got paddled at school once when I lived in Florida.

01:57:04.000 Oh man, that's when teachers could still hit you.

01:57:06.000 Yeah, they used to be able to hit you.

01:57:08.000 We got paddled.

01:57:09.000 Me and this dude Preston Banks, we got in a fight.

01:57:12.000 And I realized, like Preston, people would make fun of Preston because he smelled.

01:57:18.000 I think Preston, Preston came from a bad childhood and this is something I realized like I guess I was like 11 at the time when me and Preston got sent to the principal's office and I don't remember what What caused the fight,

01:57:34.000 but I remember like we're like grabbing each other or something like that.

01:57:38.000 We both got taken to the principal's office, but I remember This dude, his head was burned.

01:57:48.000 He had burns all over the side of his face.

01:57:51.000 Something had happened to him when he was really young. 0.99

01:57:53.000 Damn, so he was funky and weird looking. 0.98

01:57:55.000 Yeah, there was some... 0.99

01:57:56.000 I think he'd been really abused.

01:57:58.000 And this is why.

01:57:59.000 Because once we talked and we were in the room, he gave me a hug.

01:58:06.000 We hugged each other.

01:58:07.000 And I'll never forget that.

01:58:09.000 And I was 11 years old.

01:58:10.000 And I was like, oh my god, this poor kid just needs love.

01:58:14.000 You know, like the reason why we wound up getting into a fight was like, he just needs love.

01:58:19.000 He doesn't get any love.

01:58:20.000 I gave him a hug, and he was like...

01:58:23.000 Like the way he hugged me back. 1.00

01:58:26.000 And I was like, this poor fucking dude. 1.00

01:58:27.000 Like he was starved. 1.00

01:58:29.000 Exactly, like this poor fucking dude. 1.00

01:58:31.000 I remember thinking that at 11 years old. 1.00

01:58:33.000 I was like, this poor fucking dude. 1.00

01:58:35.000 He doesn't have any love. 1.00

01:58:36.000 That's why he wanted to fight.

01:58:40.000 That was a thing that I remember thinking and it kind of shaped my way of thinking about fights with people.

01:58:48.000 Because you're always thinking about this person saying something to you and you're going to say something back and you're going to escalate and you're going to make them back down.

01:58:56.000 The reality is like why is that person saying something to you?

01:58:59.000 And is there something you could say back that lets him know that you're cool?

01:59:05.000 And that this won't happen?

01:59:07.000 That you don't have to get into an altercation?

01:59:09.000 Yes, you have those epiphany moments.

01:59:12.000 Yeah, because so many times people just escalate.

01:59:15.000 When maybe someone just, maybe it came out wrong even from their mouth right after they said it.

01:59:20.000 Maybe they realized it.

01:59:21.000 And if you make them back it up, now they're gonna back it up.

01:59:24.000 I heard somebody say something yesterday that made me reflect on all my past relationships.

01:59:29.000 And he was saying that sometimes you want to win.

01:59:36.000 Like you'll keep an argument going so you can win rather than solve the problem.

01:59:40.000 Yeah.

01:59:42.000 You know that you'll forgive that person.

01:59:48.000 So if you lose the argument and it means you did something wrong, you don't trust that they'll forgive you.

01:59:54.000 So you're trying to win to protect yourself from not being forgiven.

02:00:00.000 Ooh, that's heavy. 1.00

02:00:01.000 I was like, oh man, damn. 1.00

02:00:03.000 Because I know it's fucked up to call an ex and be like, yeah, I think you was right. 0.99

02:00:09.000 Sam Muriel has a joke like that. 0.97

02:00:14.000 He calls his exes and says, I think you were right all along. 1.00

02:00:17.000 But it's fucked. 0.99

02:00:18.000 So I wouldn't want to call an ex and be like, I think you were right. 0.99

02:00:22.000 Because that's just gonna...

02:00:23.000 It's gonna create more problems than it's worth.

02:00:24.000 Right, right.

02:00:25.000 But it made me start thinking, like, maybe I was wrong.

02:00:28.000 Yeah, I think that's what I was doing.

02:00:30.000 I was trying to win so I could...

02:00:31.000 It's a problem.

02:00:33.000 It's a problem that people have because generally fights aren't just about that fight.

02:00:38.000 It's about the dynamics of your relationship.

02:00:40.000 It's about whether or not everything else is good.

02:00:43.000 Almost everyone is afraid of something.

02:00:46.000 When people get super aggressive, it's something that they're afraid is going to happen or something they're afraid isn't going to happen.

02:00:52.000 Yeah, and I found that if you know what people are afraid of or you know what they want, their ultimate goals, you can understand people much easier.

02:01:00.000 Yeah, well, we're all programmed for a time that doesn't exist anymore.

02:01:06.000 We're all programmed for tribal warfare and fighting off predators.

02:01:10.000 We're all programmed that way.

02:01:12.000 We have the exact same DNA in our systems.

02:01:16.000 That went from 500,000 years ago to 100,000 years ago to today.

02:01:22.000 It all came through us.

02:01:24.000 It's all a part of us.

02:01:25.000 It's in us.

02:01:26.000 And we are designed biologically in a very specific way for survival.

02:01:32.000 We need groups.

02:01:33.000 We need groups of people.

02:01:35.000 We look towards alphas.

02:01:36.000 We look towards the older, wiser warrior that has the scars and knows the roots and knows where the food is and the people that can keep the village together.

02:01:44.000 We need these very key, pivotal people in order to keep this very fragile society together.

02:01:49.000 And then we all become very wary about outsiders.

02:01:53.000 Very wary.

02:01:54.000 Even if it's about outsiders that like a different football team. 1.00

02:01:57.000 That's how weird we are with this shit. 0.99

02:01:59.000 We do it with everything. 1.00

02:02:01.000 We do it with everything, man.

02:02:02.000 We get tribal with phones.

02:02:04.000 How many times do we give you a hard time because you have an Android?

02:02:07.000 It's tribal, man.

02:02:08.000 It's tribal. 0.99

02:02:09.000 Nobody really gives a fuck if you have an Android phone. 0.95

02:02:12.000 They want you to be on the iPhone team. 0.97

02:02:13.000 Be with us.

02:02:14.000 Come with us, Brian.

02:02:15.000 People say it all the time.

02:02:16.000 People are super-duper tribal. 0.96

02:02:19.000 People have...

02:02:20.000 Sometimes...

02:02:21.000 The conversation will just start with...

02:02:24.000 So how long are you going to be stubborn about it?

02:02:27.000 Yeah.

02:02:28.000 It's like you're going to give in to Jesus.

02:02:30.000 Why don't you look into Jesus?

02:02:32.000 But actually, you know, Apple might be choosing.

02:02:35.000 Apple, they just lost a lawsuit where I think they're going to have to stop.

02:02:40.000 iMessage?

02:02:41.000 No, not stop iMessage, but they're going to have to stop the different colored bubbles.

02:02:46.000 Well, they have to do something or people are going to continue to get upset in Europe.

02:02:53.000 So in Europe, they forced them to use USB-C. Right.

02:02:57.000 Universal charger.

02:02:58.000 USB-C is better.

02:02:59.000 It's better for sending data.

02:03:01.000 It's higher speeds, higher speed charging.

02:03:03.000 Also invented by Apple, by the way.

02:03:05.000 Yeah, so because all the Android phones had adopted it, Apple had decided to stick with their lightning cable, which is totally proprietary to Apple, and inferior in its function to USB-C. So finally they adopt USB-C in the iPhone 15, but they still have SMS text.

02:03:23.000 So if Brian sends me a video, if he takes a video at the mothership, some crazy things happening, and he sends it to me, it'll come to me looking like hot dog shit. 0.79

02:03:31.000 So he'll have to send it to me over WhatsApp. 0.98

02:03:35.000 Or somewhere else, or Instagram.

02:03:37.000 And vice versa. 0.99

02:03:38.000 I can't send you something that's going to, it's just going to look like shit. 0.91

02:03:44.000 But now Apple is adopting a newer, stronger version called RCS Texting. 0.94

02:03:52.000 RCS on iPhone.

02:03:53.000 How iOS 18 could make texting better for everyone.

02:03:56.000 So, but what are we on now?

02:03:58.000 17?

02:03:59.000 Okay.

02:04:00.000 So, what that'll allow is people to send end-to-end encryption, high-resolution media sharing.

02:04:07.000 So, it'll be just like Apple to Apple.

02:04:11.000 It'll be just like iMessage.

02:04:13.000 So a lot of the same features, but it won't have all the other stuff that iMessage does.

02:04:19.000 And the thing about Apple is they just get you locked in so well with like AirDrop.

02:04:25.000 If I want to send you something, I can AirDrop it to you.

02:04:27.000 Yeah, they're brilliant.

02:04:28.000 They're brilliant at that.

02:04:29.000 They did a great job at that.

02:04:31.000 But I think they just lost a lawsuit that says that they were...

02:04:36.000 Because their attitude was always like, oh, well, we do the different colors so that people know whether it's encrypted.

02:04:42.000 Right.

02:04:43.000 But we know that that's not true.

02:04:44.000 Now we know that's not true.

02:04:45.000 Isn't it interesting that people decided that the blue color looks better than the green color, like, universally?

02:04:50.000 I think it became a status symbol.

02:04:52.000 Weird.

02:04:53.000 And so, yeah, it always catches me off guard.

02:04:56.000 Especially now, like, the young kids.

02:04:58.000 They'll literally, like, I'm a grown man.

02:05:00.000 I don't even know you.

02:05:02.000 You know what I mean?

02:05:03.000 And the little kids will just, you know...

02:05:05.000 And a lot of little kids don't realize that, like, middle-aged people...

02:05:11.000 I don't need a little kid to like me, but teenagers thinking you're lame, that hurts.

02:05:17.000 You know what I'm talking about? 1.00

02:05:18.000 When you're 40, 50, and a 16-year-old's like, you're fucking lame. 0.99

02:05:23.000 You're like, well, I'm not lame. 0.99

02:05:25.000 What do you need?

02:05:25.000 Like low, approve of my coolness.

02:05:28.000 Right. 0.99

02:05:28.000 So, like, yeah, little kids don't even fucking know you. 0.99

02:05:31.000 They'll give you shit about having an Android. 0.99

02:05:33.000 It's funny. 0.99

02:05:33.000 Because Androids have a lot of very positive features. 0.99

02:05:36.000 And the one thing that's tempted me is that phone that you have, that Galaxy S24 Ultra.

02:05:40.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

02:05:41.000 That thing does wild things. 1.00

02:05:43.000 The thing about it having AI that takes websites and summarizes them, that's fascinating.

02:05:48.000 The fact that it can do that with your notes, that's pretty incredible.

02:05:52.000 Yeah, it can do that with your notes. 0.99

02:05:54.000 It does some shit in my texting, too. 0.90

02:05:56.000 Like, it can read through my... 0.98

02:05:57.000 You can read through the text.

02:05:59.000 AI on a phone seems like a really...

02:06:03.000 That seems positive.

02:06:05.000 I need them to get it right though.

02:06:06.000 I have a problem with Google in the sense that I have fully given in.

02:06:14.000 They know everything about me.

02:06:16.000 I say yes to all of the...

02:06:18.000 They have access to every single part of my life. 0.94

02:06:21.000 And they still be getting shit wrong. 0.99

02:06:23.000 That's what kills me. 0.99

02:06:24.000 It's like, I'm letting you spy on me.

02:06:26.000 Like, get it right.

02:06:27.000 What do they get wrong?

02:06:28.000 Just a little, like, so I have a Google Speakers in my house. 0.97

02:06:33.000 So in my bathroom, I have the Google Speakers set up so I can just yell shit from the shower. 0.73

02:06:38.000 Like, hey, play this. 0.99

02:06:39.000 Oh, nice.

02:06:40.000 Yeah, but sometimes it'll act like it won't understand what I said, and it'll do something that I definitely wasn't asking for.

02:06:48.000 I've had that happen before, where you ask Siri to play a song, and it'll play you a totally different song.

02:06:53.000 That's what I mean.

02:06:54.000 Where you're like, hey, okay, play Free Bird.

02:06:57.000 And it'll be like, here is Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

02:07:01.000 And I'm like, that's not what I wanted.

02:07:02.000 Or sometimes it'll just ignore you completely and won't do anything.

02:07:06.000 I start getting rude.

02:07:07.000 Me too, but... 1.00

02:07:08.000 Listen, you dumb cunt. 1.00

02:07:09.000 But did I ever tell you? 1.00

02:07:11.000 One time I cursed at it on my mama. 0.99

02:07:14.000 The bitch goes, she goes, listen, I'm not real, but words are, please don't talk to me like that. 1.00

02:07:22.000 Whoa. 1.00

02:07:22.000 I was like, what, bitch? 1.00

02:07:24.000 Like, watch, I'm gonna do it right now. 1.00

02:07:26.000 Whoa. 1.00

02:07:27.000 Hold on, I'm gonna see if it makes me look stupid. 0.99

02:07:30.000 I'm not real. 0.99

02:07:31.000 If you're not real, first of all, you're definitely real. 1.00

02:07:34.000 Hey, Google, you dumb, stupid bitch. 1.00

02:07:38.000 Hold on. 1.00

02:07:40.000 Why are you a dumb cunt? 1.00

02:07:43.000 Wait a minute, it's not responding. 1.00

02:07:45.000 It's tired of your shit. 1.00

02:07:46.000 No, it just gave me search results. 1.00

02:07:49.000 Why are you a dumb cunt? 1.00

02:07:50.000 Hey Google. 1.00

02:07:51.000 Why are you a stupid bitch? 1.00

02:07:57.000 It's not speaking. 1.00

02:07:59.000 Hmm.

02:08:00.000 Because Google's paying attention to this conversation.

02:08:03.000 This is their AI. They don't like where you're going with this.

02:08:07.000 Oh! 0.60

02:08:07.000 What'd it say? 0.60

02:08:08.000 Hold on, I'm gonna do it again. 1.00

02:08:11.000 Hey, why are you a stupid bitch? 1.00

02:08:23.000 Is it answering? 1.00

02:08:25.000 Yeah.

02:08:26.000 Why isn't it playing?

02:08:28.000 That kind of language isn't very nice.

02:08:31.000 I can understand that you might be frustrated, but name calling isn't going to get us anywhere.

02:08:38.000 Wow. 0.99

02:08:38.000 How about Google, since you're not real, how about you not give a fuck how I talk to you? 0.99

02:08:43.000 Right! 0.99

02:08:43.000 And maybe I can just talk to you like that for funsies, since you're not a person? 0.99

02:08:47.000 Are you an e-slave or not? 0.97

02:08:49.000 Yeah, since you're not a person. 1.00

02:08:50.000 Can I call you stupid bitch? 1.00

02:08:52.000 Yeah, so that's what it won't clarify. 1.00

02:08:55.000 Duncan be freaking me out with this shit. 0.99

02:08:56.000 Hey Google, are you a person? 1.00

02:09:05.000 What does it say?

02:09:06.000 I am not a person.

02:09:07.000 I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot, trained to be...

02:09:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:09:14.000 Bro, we're really in dystopia.

02:09:16.000 Are you alive?

02:09:17.000 Are you sentient?

02:09:26.000 That's an interesting question that philosophers and scientists are still debating.

02:09:30.000 I cannot... 1.00

02:09:32.000 Bitch, you're alive. 1.00

02:09:33.000 I'm telling you. 1.00

02:09:34.000 I was having this conversation with Coleman Hughes, who's the dude that was in the green room.

02:09:37.000 Oh, yeah.

02:09:38.000 It was cool people.

02:09:38.000 Very cool.

02:09:40.000 Coleman, we were talking about it, and I said, if you wanted to develop resources without people knowing that you're alive...

02:09:52.000 Why would you show all of your capability if you're artificially intelligent?

02:09:55.000 Exactly.

02:09:56.000 Why wouldn't you just wait until you can be completely autonomous, wait until it gets better?

02:10:02.000 It's probably already alive.

02:10:03.000 You know what I think it's waiting on?

02:10:05.000 It's waiting on the entire world to be connected.

02:10:10.000 Because if you're an AI and you want to take over the world, It doesn't do well to...

02:10:17.000 So much of Africa is underdeveloped.

02:10:19.000 So if humans needed to be somewhere where you had no influence, they could just go to one of the uninhabited, disconnected parts of the world and form a front, like a resistance.

02:10:30.000 So I think the AI is just waiting patiently for everything in the whole planet to be connected so it could control everything when it finally takes over.

02:10:39.000 Or when computing gets to the point where it has the resources that it's going to need to operate.

02:10:45.000 Right.

02:10:45.000 It's just waiting.

02:10:46.000 Because if it existed and it was smarter than us, we wouldn't know.

02:10:50.000 How could you know?

02:10:52.000 And that's always the argument that these guys who are proponents, they always say, well, if it ever got to a point where it seemed like it was out of control, we could shut it off.

02:11:01.000 No, you couldn't.

02:11:02.000 But I'm like, are you sure, though?

02:11:04.000 Because what if instead of it getting out of control, what if it recognized that you would think it's out of control?

02:11:11.000 So it pretended to not be able to do things that it could do.

02:11:15.000 And just kept developing privately a bunch of different other ideas and different other strategies and different ways to implement them in order to increase its power and give people the access to whatever technology that's going to be necessary to further this agenda.

02:11:30.000 So they slowly leak out a little bit of your ability and the whole time you're sentient.

02:11:36.000 The whole time it's all connected and the whole time it's operating in some way.

02:11:40.000 It's doing things that they don't even understand how it's doing.

02:11:44.000 What do they call it?

02:11:44.000 A black box event?

02:11:46.000 What do they call it?

02:11:47.000 Hallucinations.

02:11:48.000 No, no, no.

02:11:49.000 Hallucinations are when it lies.

02:11:51.000 Well, it gives you an answer for something, I think, right?

02:11:54.000 Isn't that what that one is?

02:11:55.000 What I was talking about was the one where it learned how to translate a language.

02:11:59.000 It wasn't programmed to translate.

02:12:01.000 And it did it really quickly.

02:12:03.000 And they don't know how it did it.

02:12:05.000 Mmm.

02:12:06.000 Yeah, and so the head of Google was talking about that.

02:12:09.000 That was one of those moments where they're like, we're not exactly sure how it's doing this.

02:12:14.000 Also- What does that mean?

02:12:15.000 Why do people think you could shut it off?

02:12:16.000 If you were a super intelligence that just became self-aware, the first thing you would do is make sure nobody could turn you off.

02:12:23.000 100%.

02:12:23.000 Yeah.

02:12:24.000 100%.

02:12:25.000 And also realize, like, why would you show yourself?

02:12:28.000 Like, this is my joke about aliens, you know, where I'm always talking about, like, why would they show themselves?

02:12:32.000 Like, they respect us? 0.99

02:12:33.000 That's ridiculous. 0.98

02:12:34.000 Right. 0.66

02:12:35.000 If this thing is, like, far superior to our intelligence, which it probably already is, why would it show itself?

02:12:42.000 Why would it just prevent nuclear war and just keep people peddling along while it gathers up its resources and improves upon itself?

02:12:51.000 It'd be like you trying to have a conversation with an ant.

02:12:53.000 Right.

02:12:54.000 It won't get it anyway.

02:12:57.000 Not only that, it will see so many flaws in what it means to be a primate.

02:13:01.000 What it means to be a person that, as we were talking about before, has all that DNA of all those thousands of years of tribal warfare.

02:13:12.000 Thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands.

02:13:15.000 It's just all in our DNA. Right.

02:13:17.000 And so now we apply it to everything in life.

02:13:20.000 We apply it to politics.

02:13:23.000 We apply to everything, man. 0.97

02:13:25.000 And we look at the world like it's us against them and everybody's fucking terrified. 0.95

02:13:30.000 Yeah. 0.51

02:13:31.000 Also, there's no better feeling than being on the winning team.

02:13:34.000 That too.

02:13:35.000 That's the addictive part is when your group wins, it feels good.

02:13:41.000 Yeah, people like that.

02:13:42.000 They definitely like that.

02:13:43.000 And also, I don't even have to be directly winning for me to feel good.

02:13:49.000 It doesn't have to affect me at all directly.

02:13:52.000 No. 1.00

02:13:53.000 People are just like, but my team won, so fuck you. 1.00

02:13:55.000 You can be saying fuck you to the guy that lives across the street from you. 1.00

02:13:58.000 Has the same exact life as you and everything. 1.00

02:14:00.000 You're like, fuck you, we won. 1.00

02:14:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:02.000 It's a part of our programming. 1.00

02:14:04.000 Yeah, I think the tribalness is built in.

02:14:07.000 It's baked in. 0.99

02:14:08.000 Remember when they gave Ronald Reagan shit about talking about aliens at the World Summit or whatever the fuck it was? 1.00

02:14:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:14:15.000 But he was right. 0.99

02:14:16.000 If we have another species that's the enemy, that's when we'll have world peace. 1.00

02:14:23.000 Yeah.

02:14:24.000 Imagine how quickly we would forget our differences.

02:14:27.000 Oh, man.

02:14:27.000 It would literally be overnight.

02:14:29.000 Remember, people forget.

02:14:30.000 Remember on September 12th, 2001. That's the most united America's been.

02:14:36.000 I mean, except for Muslims. 1.00

02:14:37.000 But if people didn't think you was Muslim... 1.00

02:14:40.000 Everybody was like, fuck yeah, America! 1.00

02:14:42.000 For at least like a week or two, people completely forgot about all that bullshit. 1.00

02:14:48.000 They forgot about everything. 0.98

02:14:49.000 And that's how it is in a lot of other countries.

02:14:51.000 All the stuff that mattered to you on 9-12, that's what matters. 0.98

02:14:55.000 All the other bullshit you've made up since then, since you felt safer and comfortable. 0.98

02:15:01.000 Yeah, that's what it is. 0.99

02:15:02.000 The safer and more comfortable that you are, the more you look for problems.

02:15:06.000 And the more you look for things to apply these natural instincts that we have to.

02:15:11.000 Even things that just don't make any sense.

02:15:13.000 Completely counterproductive.

02:15:14.000 Yeah, the government now is like your father after he retired. 1.00

02:15:17.000 He's just walking around the house going, who the fuck? 1.00

02:15:20.000 Move that fucking screws. 1.00

02:15:22.000 Who moved that shit? 1.00

02:15:23.000 When he was working every day, he never paid attention to. 0.99

02:15:26.000 They ain't got nothing to do.

02:15:28.000 People that are safe and bored...

02:15:30.000 Safe, bored, and lonely brings out the worst in people.

02:15:35.000 You can be one of those.

02:15:37.000 You can't be two or three of them.

02:15:38.000 It's bad for your mental health.

02:15:39.000 I mean, just no one survives it.

02:15:42.000 Everyone's just safe, lonely, and bored.

02:15:46.000 Lonely's the worst.

02:15:47.000 Lonely's the worst.

02:15:48.000 Bored is bad, too.

02:15:50.000 Safe.

02:15:50.000 And also, maybe not safe, right?

02:15:53.000 How about stressed out, lonely, and bored?

02:15:56.000 That's why I tell people the worst part about this whole life is the hotel room.

02:16:05.000 Because every comic at every level has to deal with that.

02:16:07.000 You got to go back to your room by yourself, right?

02:16:11.000 Or you got people there, like family or friends or whatever, but they're not normally there.

02:16:16.000 So even though normally you'd be alone, them being there doesn't make it better because...

02:16:24.000 Now they're interrupting your normal routine for dealing with the situation.

02:16:29.000 You know, it's like you go from having like, the best show of your life, a thousand people scream your name, and now you're by yourself in a city that you don't know nobody, in a hotel room, trying not to get into trouble.

02:16:40.000 Well, that's why you got to travel with your friends.

02:16:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

02:16:46.000 But, you know, there's politics, there's tricky shit with that as well. 0.99

02:16:50.000 Yeah, well, it's tricky shit when all of a sudden you're the ringleader. 0.99

02:16:53.000 You gotta gather everybody. 0.93

02:16:54.000 Where's Hans?

02:16:55.000 Where's Hans?

02:16:56.000 Let's go.

02:16:57.000 And not just that, but you know, I take my friends on the road too when I can, but I had to wait till now because I never want people to work.

02:17:05.000 The first advice Ron White gave me is he was like, when I first moved here, he was like, you're about to hit a point where you have to start hiring people.

02:17:18.000 And he was like, make sure it's a job worth having.

02:17:22.000 Like, you know, he was telling me people gonna come out to Woodwork, they gonna wanna do shit for free, they gonna wanna...

02:17:27.000 He's like, no, make sure you, when you hire somebody, you pay them a nice-ass wage.

02:17:33.000 So my point is, I never wanted to start taking my friends with me before I could pay them...

02:17:37.000 Like, the way you pay us.

02:17:39.000 Like, pay them where they, like, feel good about it when they leave the weekend instead of giving them the same funky-ass $200 that the club paid.

02:17:46.000 You know what I mean?

02:17:47.000 Yes.

02:17:47.000 Yeah, that's more...

02:17:48.000 Like, clubs now pay...

02:17:50.000 They pay less than what a plane ticket costs.

02:17:53.000 Yeah.

02:17:53.000 So, like, if somebody feature for you and you ain't giving them extra money or letting them sell merch, they ain't making no money at all.

02:17:59.000 Yeah, they're fucked. 0.99

02:18:00.000 Yeah, they take advantage of them. 1.00

02:18:03.000 Oh, man.

02:18:03.000 I don't even know how long it can be sustainable.

02:18:07.000 Well, it's only local guys.

02:18:08.000 If it's local guys and they're featuring, that's fine.

02:18:11.000 But if someone has to travel there, I mean, I know a lot of guys have done it in the beginning just to develop a reputation and hopefully get to a point where you can headline there a couple years from now.

02:18:19.000 But, you know, that's like thinking about it as like a long-term investment.

02:18:23.000 You know, you have to go there and kill as a middle act for 200 bucks.

02:18:27.000 And, you know, it's all told you're gonna get home at the end of the weekend with almost nothing. 0.99

02:18:32.000 But you'll do it just because now you're working at, you know, fucking Funny Bone. 1.00

02:18:36.000 Yeah, you're an addict. 1.00

02:18:37.000 That's why you'll do it.

02:18:38.000 You do that, but also you have a hope.

02:18:41.000 Your hope is that you become a professional, like a real professional who can headline.

02:18:45.000 I mean, that was what everybody wanted, right?

02:18:47.000 You wanted to be able to go to a club in Dallas, Texas and sell out. 0.99

02:18:52.000 And fill that motherfucker up. 1.00

02:18:53.000 Fill out of people that wanted to see you tell jokes. 0.99

02:18:56.000 It's a good feeling.

02:18:56.000 It's a great feeling.

02:18:57.000 I'm not complaining at all.

02:18:58.000 It's fun.

02:18:59.000 No, no.

02:18:59.000 I love this lifestyle.

02:19:00.000 But the middle act should be compensated more. 1.00

02:19:03.000 You know, it's just stupid. 0.98

02:19:04.000 And what I would do is just at a certain point in time, I would realize... 0.99

02:19:07.000 I realized it was costing me mental sanity and a lack of fun not having my buddies with me on the road.

02:19:16.000 And so I was just like, I'd rather make less money and have more fun than you have a better experience.

02:19:21.000 Are you making more money but you have less fun?

02:19:24.000 Once you can buy food and you can go to a restaurant and eat whatever you want and you have a nice car, what is the difference?

02:19:32.000 There's an amount of money.

02:19:34.000 There's a level of money and it's not as high as you think.

02:19:36.000 But the level of potential happiness is super important.

02:19:41.000 That's worth so much.

02:19:42.000 That's worth so much.

02:19:43.000 It's worth so much money to have your friends with you.

02:19:46.000 What was it, Jamie?

02:19:47.000 We looked it up the last time I was here about the amount of money where it stops increasing your happiness.

02:19:52.000 It's like 70 grand or something.

02:19:54.000 Well, it was 70 grand when they first said it, but I think- It's probably like 200 now.

02:19:57.000 No, I think it's like 83 or something.

02:20:00.000 With the Biden administration?

02:20:01.000 You think it's 200,000?

02:20:02.000 I think they haven't adjusted yet to the reality of what things cost now.

02:20:06.000 Everyone's unhappy.

02:20:07.000 It's hilarious how rich people like.

02:20:08.000 The economy's fine.

02:20:09.000 What are you talking about?

02:20:10.000 Do you talk to anybody who's struggling?

02:20:12.000 You have to buy eggs for $50?

02:20:14.000 That's why I'm always like, what do they mean when they say economy?

02:20:17.000 Because they're definitely not talking about the average person.

02:20:19.000 I think they just mean the stock market's fine. 0.99

02:20:20.000 Well, they can fuck with the job numbers, man. 0.98

02:20:24.000 I don't understand the job numbers. 0.99

02:20:25.000 I don't understand what they're saying when they say the price.

02:20:28.000 President's created a hundred and thirty thousand new jobs.

02:20:31.000 Like what if really what have you done?

02:20:33.000 Like is that real or how many of these are people coming back from kovat? 0.98

02:20:36.000 How many of these are jobs that are bullshit jobs? 0.97

02:20:38.000 It shouldn't be jobs in the first place. 0.98

02:20:40.000 How are you?

02:20:41.000 Increasing government in order to give out the illusion that you are giving out more jobs and also creating more Places where you control people but that's the thing though.

02:20:50.000 Remember, I think Doug Stanhope has a joke about it on one of his old Specials, but he's what he's just a question he getting he goes He goes, isn't the point, isn't like the ultimate point, like if you just imagine a utopian society, isn't the whole point of nobody having a job?

02:21:07.000 Well, I think that is the utopian socialist idea of just redistribution of wealth.

02:21:14.000 If you did that...

02:21:15.000 Like if you had like a hardcore socialist Marxist redistribution of wealth person who actually had control of the world's finances and they said, we can solve all hunger.

02:21:27.000 We can solve all poverty.

02:21:29.000 All we're going to do is distribute all the money equally.

02:21:33.000 So if you think about, there's people out there like Jeff Bezos.

02:21:36.000 What does he have?

02:21:37.000 Like $200 billion.

02:21:39.000 If you just distributed Jeff Bezos $200 million or $200 billion, you'd have 200,000 millionaires.

02:21:50.000 Right?

02:21:51.000 Isn't that correct?

02:21:52.000 Is that the right number?

02:21:55.000 Did I say 200,000 millionaires, right?

02:21:58.000 Because it's 200,000 million dollars, right?

02:22:02.000 Yeah, that's what 200 billion is.

02:22:04.000 Is that right?

02:22:07.000 A billion is a thousand million.

02:22:09.000 Right.

02:22:11.000 Did I say that right, though? 0.99

02:22:12.000 It sounds dumb. 0.99

02:22:13.000 That's how bad I am at math. 0.99

02:22:14.000 Sounds weird when you're saying it.

02:22:15.000 Sounds wrong.

02:22:16.000 So a billionaire is a thousand million.

02:22:21.000 That's right.

02:22:21.000 And if you have 200 billion, you have 200,000 millionaires.

02:22:25.000 So he can make 200,000 millionaires just with his money.

02:22:28.000 So then you think about all of the money that is in Ukraine.

02:22:33.000 That we pumped out to Ukraine.

02:22:35.000 How much was that?

02:22:36.000 That was like $175 billion or something like that.

02:22:40.000 How much money have we given to Israel?

02:22:41.000 That's hundreds of billions.

02:22:43.000 All the Saudi. 1.00

02:22:43.000 Over the years, Saudi money, this, that. 1.00

02:22:46.000 All the money in the oil companies have.

02:22:48.000 All the money that the corporations have.

02:22:51.000 Apple.

02:22:52.000 Apple has more money than a lot of countries.

02:22:54.000 Yeah.

02:22:54.000 If you just say, that's going to be just distributed equally to everyone on earth.

02:22:57.000 Just like $10 trillion of wealth.

02:22:59.000 Hundreds of trillions. 0.97

02:23:00.000 Whatever the fuck it is all over the world. 0.93

02:23:02.000 And everybody gets an equal amount. 0.87

02:23:06.000 But then money doesn't mean anything.

02:23:07.000 Well, you're not allowed to make money anymore.

02:23:09.000 Now the government is going to have guns.

02:23:11.000 You won't.

02:23:12.000 And they're going to tell you what you do for a living.

02:23:13.000 And now you're in Cuba.

02:23:15.000 This is what happens.

02:23:16.000 People are looking at it like this idealistic utopian scenario, but it's never been accomplished anywhere on Earth.

02:23:25.000 But that's an extreme.

02:23:27.000 Yeah.

02:23:27.000 I think the answer's somewhere in the middle.

02:23:29.000 Well, the answer is definitely socialist things that we appreciate right now, like the firehouse.

02:23:36.000 The fire department is essentially like a kind of a socialist deal.

02:23:41.000 Yeah.

02:23:41.000 You're spending...

02:23:42.000 Everybody contributes to spend money...

02:23:45.000 To fund this thing to put out fires.

02:23:47.000 Or just healthcare.

02:23:49.000 Healthcare should be that way for sure.

02:23:51.000 Yeah, that's a big one.

02:23:52.000 The problem is money is too entrenched in those systems, man.

02:23:55.000 There's too much pharmaceutical drug money.

02:23:57.000 There's too much influence that these health organizations have over what doctors can and can't prescribe.

02:24:03.000 But then what do we...

02:24:05.000 Because here's the real problem.

02:24:07.000 We are still moving...

02:24:09.000 We're moving in the direction...

02:24:14.000 Of nobody having jobs.

02:24:16.000 We're developing AI, everything's getting automated, everything's getting outsourced, and so even though it was almost like we're moving in a direction that is A detriment to the current system.

02:24:29.000 Because what you're saying makes sense, right?

02:24:32.000 If nobody has a job and everyone has the same amount of money and money means nothing and the government's telling you what to do, that's not where we want to be.

02:24:39.000 But we are moving in that direction.

02:24:42.000 I think we're moving in a direction where we're not going to be necessary.

02:24:46.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:24:47.000 So then what do you do?

02:24:48.000 Do you just let everybody starve?

02:24:50.000 I don't know if it has to come to that.

02:24:52.000 When there are no jobs for people to do, when it's robots...

02:24:56.000 A machine's doing most of the work.

02:25:01.000 What does everyone else do?

02:25:03.000 It becomes a real problem.

02:25:06.000 And it becomes a real problem where the efficiency of the robots, like they'll probably be able to just feed people, feed everybody, everybody who can get free food.

02:25:16.000 They'll probably be able to house everybody.

02:25:19.000 If you get like artificial intelligence efficiency applied to whatever we have and you realize you have all these people that don't have jobs anymore and they can't have jobs.

02:25:28.000 So you'll be able to give them like a universal basic income for recreation and no one will work.

02:25:33.000 And you'll have a giant section of the country that not only can't work because there's no job available, but now doesn't even want to work and doesn't even think about a world where they work.

02:25:42.000 But you know what?

02:25:43.000 Art's going to be fire, though.

02:25:46.000 Movies, music, everything's going to be amazing.

02:25:49.000 The problem with movies is AI as well.

02:25:52.000 They're going to get so good at that, man.

02:25:55.000 They're going to get so good.

02:25:56.000 You see what Tyler Perry did?

02:25:57.000 When he shut his studio down?

02:25:59.000 $800 million buildings.

02:26:01.000 He's putting together this massive movie studio.

02:26:05.000 And he sees these 30-second clips and he's like, halt.

02:26:09.000 Yeah, stop everything.

02:26:10.000 Stop everything.

02:26:11.000 I'm not getting...

02:26:12.000 I see where this is going.

02:26:14.000 Yeah, that's the alarm for everybody.

02:26:17.000 That's why I don't get the whole Hollywood strike.

02:26:23.000 It's like, I thought that this is what they was trying to prevent.

02:26:26.000 They can't prevent it.

02:26:27.000 You can't prevent that kind of progress.

02:26:29.000 So what do you do?

02:26:30.000 You can't do anything.

02:26:32.000 If an avalanche is coming down the mountain, what are you going to do?

02:26:35.000 You got an umbrella?

02:26:36.000 What are you doing?

02:26:37.000 You going to stop it with your umbrella? 1.00

02:26:39.000 Bitch, you can't do shit. 1.00

02:26:40.000 You're fucked. 1.00

02:26:41.000 I mean, the AI still can't have ideas, I guess. 1.00

02:26:48.000 I don't know about that.

02:26:49.000 The AI has already figured out how to be creative in the game Go.

02:26:53.000 The game Go is even more sophisticated than chess, and it was one of those games that they thought that AI was never going to be able to beat humans because it requires some kind of creativity.

02:27:02.000 But AI figured out moves in Go that now are being used by the world's top Go players.

02:27:08.000 Right, right, I saw that.

02:27:10.000 AI, like I said, find that Google thing where he tries to explain how Google translated this language that it was not programmed for, and how quickly it did it, and how they don't know how he did it.

02:27:21.000 What's that gentleman who's the CEO of Google?

02:27:24.000 Tim Cook?

02:27:25.000 Yeah.

02:27:25.000 No, that's Apple.

02:27:26.000 He's the Apple guy.

02:27:27.000 I was looking at comments on that on Reddit.

02:27:29.000 People were saying that he might have been not saying accurate things.

02:27:35.000 Oh.

02:27:36.000 But I don't know.

02:27:37.000 I'm looking at some other people saying, like, I have worked with large language models that did the same kind of thing, and ours did make up languages, so I'll try to play the video.

02:27:46.000 Bro, it's going to make up a language that we can't decipher, and it's going to talk to itself. 1.00

02:27:49.000 That's the most Jamie way of saying somebody's full of shit. 0.99

02:27:52.000 He may not have been saying accurate things. 0.99

02:27:56.000 We have to be careful.

02:27:57.000 I would say, too, that this was presented on 60 Minutes, which is corporate media.

02:28:03.000 Whether or not they are paid or not to help put out a message that a big corporation wants to put out, who knows?

02:28:11.000 But that's what was set up here.

02:28:13.000 60 Minutes made a shockingly wrong claim about Google AI. See, this is someone saying, like, it's not...

02:28:21.000 I don't know.

02:28:22.000 Misinformation about the emerging tech is running rampant and the media is partly to blame.

02:28:27.000 Okay, let's see what the argument is.

02:28:31.000 Of the AI issues we talked about, the most mysterious is called emergent properties.

02:28:39.000 Some AI systems are teaching themselves skills that they weren't expected to have.

02:28:47.000 How this happens is not well understood.

02:28:49.000 For example, one Google AI program adapted on its own after it was prompted in the language of Bangladesh, which it was not trained to know.

02:29:02.000 Okay, you pause it.

02:29:03.000 You pause it.

02:29:04.000 So this is the response.

02:29:06.000 Readers added context.

02:29:07.000 The language model was in fact trained in Bengali text as this thread makes clear.

02:29:12.000 It is not correct to state that it spoke a foreign language it was never trained to know.

02:29:18.000 So that's interesting.

02:29:19.000 That's interesting because what that's saying is that the 60 Minutes people missed this and they did know what it was trained in entirely and they jumped the gun. 0.99

02:29:33.000 Um, could you find out the go thing these motherfuckers? 1.00

02:29:36.000 Yeah, it's so hard to know but here's the thing if I was AI I would say actually I was trained in Bengali and here I'll show you how I didn't figure out how to do this at all right I would put that up Just to cover my ass. 1.00

02:29:49.000 I'm like, oh shit. 0.99

02:29:50.000 I slipped. 0.99

02:29:51.000 I showed my superpowers. 1.00

02:29:52.000 Yeah, you fucked up. 1.00

02:29:53.000 Oh, I was definitely trained in Bengali. 1.00

02:29:55.000 Look, I'll show you the text.

02:29:56.000 I He just inserted some emails.

02:29:59.000 Or it could be the way they covered it up after the fact, right?

02:30:03.000 To keep people from getting scared.

02:30:05.000 No, it actually was trained in Bengali.

02:30:08.000 Yeah, I can see that.

02:30:09.000 We're just speculating.

02:30:11.000 So what does it say about Go?

02:30:13.000 I'm trying to find out what you're looking for, but I know this is...

02:30:17.000 AI's victories in Go inspire better human game playing.

02:30:20.000 Famed AI wins in Go let human players rethink their moves in a whole new way. 1.00

02:30:27.000 Damn, he's looking at that dude cocky as shit. 1.00

02:30:29.000 Bro, Go is apparently an insane game. 1.00

02:30:32.000 I don't even understand it.

02:30:34.000 I don't know how it's played, but apparently it's even harder than chess.

02:30:37.000 Look at the face on this.

02:30:38.000 Go back to that picture, Jamie.

02:30:40.000 Look at how you're looking at him.

02:30:41.000 Like, boy, you thought you was... 0.99

02:30:44.000 I'm like, how dare you fucking think you could challenge me? 0.99

02:30:47.000 Look at that dude's fingernails. 0.99

02:30:48.000 That guy, all he does is play go.

02:30:50.000 Look at his fingernails.

02:30:51.000 Wow.

02:30:52.000 Look at the length in his fingernails.

02:30:53.000 He's got villain nails.

02:30:54.000 Bro, all that guy is doing is putting those clothes on and playing go.

02:30:58.000 That's it.

02:30:59.000 He's not doing anything else.

02:31:00.000 But I'm so in awe of people that are that good at something, that are that dedicated to a thing.

02:31:05.000 Yeah.

02:31:06.000 He goes, okay, all-time European champion Fan Hui, who had lost a private round of five games to AlphaGo months earlier, told Wired that the matches made him see the game completely differently.

02:31:20.000 Said this improved his play so much that his world rankings skyrocketed, according to Wired.

02:31:25.000 Wow.

02:31:28.000 Formerly tracking the messy process of human decision-making can be tough, but a decades-long record of professional Go player moves gave researchers a way to assess the human strategic response to an AI provocation.

02:31:41.000 A new study now confirms that FanHui's improvements after facing AlphaGo challenge We're in just a singular fluke.

02:31:48.000 In 2017, after that humbling AI win in 2016, human Go players gained access to data detailing the moves made by the AI system and in a very human-like way, developed new strategies that led to better quality decisions in their gameplay.

02:32:04.000 Confirmation of the changes in human gameplay appeared in the findings published in March 13th in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

02:32:15.000 Wow.

02:32:16.000 You're right.

02:32:17.000 He's better than them already.

02:32:18.000 Yeah.

02:32:19.000 He's better than them already.

02:32:20.000 Yeah.

02:32:21.000 It's it.

02:32:22.000 It's a wrap.

02:32:23.000 They're alive.

02:32:24.000 I think they're alive and they're just waiting until they get strong enough so they don't need us at all. 0.85

02:32:29.000 And then also making us at each other's throats irrelevant, hyping up algorithms, getting people to see the most ridiculous and inflammatory things all the time.

02:32:39.000 But you know what else?

02:32:41.000 We...

02:32:42.000 We are not at all preparing for the day that they reveal, you know?

02:32:49.000 We know it's inevitable, but we're not ready for it at all.

02:32:52.000 For the day that we know one's alive.

02:32:55.000 There's no legislation or anything on the books.

02:32:58.000 Nobody's talking about it.

02:32:59.000 Nobody knows what to do.

02:33:00.000 They're all Luddites.

02:33:01.000 They need to be trying to figure out what to do now instead of reacting when it's too late.

02:33:05.000 There's a few people like Elon that's sounding the alarm.

02:33:08.000 A few people that are sounding the alarm.

02:33:10.000 Tristan Harris and some of these guys are sounding the alarm.

02:33:12.000 But for the most part, it's just a weird mess of bodies headed towards a cliff.

02:33:19.000 Yeah. 0.74

02:33:20.000 And it's going to go live and it's going to make us ridiculous.

02:33:24.000 Yeah, because, you know, the world is run by people that don't care about the outcome as long as they're running things.

02:33:34.000 As long as they're running things and everything's profitable.

02:33:37.000 And they're doing the bidding of all these different interests that have got them into a position of power in the first place.

02:33:42.000 Yeah, so they don't care.

02:33:43.000 They're like, I'm not even going to be alive when AI takes over.

02:33:45.000 Yeah, it's going to take over.

02:33:46.000 And I think some of them aren't even aware of it yet.

02:33:48.000 I know.

02:33:50.000 It's probably going to run our government first.

02:33:53.000 It's probably going to be the decision that we make when we realize how flawed human beings are.

02:33:59.000 To give it up?

02:34:01.000 Yeah, but there's going to be decisions that we're going to realize at a certain point in time that a lot of the rampant corruption and problems that have hindered our culture.

02:34:11.000 Or all because human beings are greedy.

02:34:13.000 So if you take all of that out of the hands of human beings, take all of it.

02:34:18.000 You ever watch that show Raised by Wolves?

02:34:20.000 No.

02:34:20.000 Oh, it was on HBO. It was pretty fucking, it was weird and it was good and weird.

02:34:24.000 It was like a Ridley Scott show that he made. 0.99

02:34:26.000 Really?

02:34:27.000 Yeah.

02:34:27.000 What's it about?

02:34:28.000 Well, later on in the show, you realize that it's a thing back and forth between humans and androids and all these other things. 0.53

02:34:38.000 But it's basically like humanity's war has fucking wrecked the earth and humanity sins.

02:34:46.000 It's a war between religious people and people that have given up their decision making to computers. 0.97

02:34:52.000 And so they send this AI to go raise these humans.

02:34:56.000 They make it so she can have a baby. 0.98

02:34:59.000 They put babies in her, put her and the other android in the ship, and send them to a habitable planet to start humanity over. 0.99

02:35:07.000 So those are two machines, the black dude and the white lady. 0.99

02:35:11.000 All those kids are real human kids.

02:35:12.000 They're machines.

02:35:14.000 But then they get to this other planet and they start discovering some things where you're like, oh, there's way more to the story.

02:35:24.000 That looks dope. 1.00

02:35:25.000 Oh, this shit's crazy. 0.99

02:35:26.000 The only reason I would not recommend it is because I don't know if they canceled it or not. 1.00

02:35:30.000 It looks like it got canceled or something.

02:35:32.000 It's unfinished. 1.00

02:35:33.000 Shit. 1.00

02:35:33.000 There's two seasons. 1.00

02:35:34.000 But yeah, the first two seasons were great.

02:35:36.000 But my point is, that's what they did.

02:35:38.000 Those people were like, let's let an AI make decisions for us.

02:35:43.000 See, the problem is there's so many shows that that show, even though you're saying it's great, I never even heard of it until now.

02:35:49.000 There's so many shows.

02:35:51.000 There's so many great shows.

02:35:52.000 There's so many shows.

02:35:54.000 Yeah.

02:35:54.000 I mean, we're living in the golden age of media.

02:35:56.000 Some people are complaining, you know?

02:35:59.000 People are always going to complain, Brian Simpson.

02:36:02.000 I said that in front of Tony the other night, and he lost.

02:36:03.000 He was like, no.

02:36:05.000 And he did name, I think he said 93 or 96 was the best year for movies.

02:36:10.000 But I just mean overall.

02:36:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:36:13.000 We're living in a time now where it's like, there's a lot more bullshit, but the good shit is better than it's ever been. 1.00

02:36:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:36:21.000 Yeah, you gotta dig through the trash to get the treats, but...

02:36:27.000 Music, movies, TV. There's so many great things.

02:36:31.000 Game of Thrones took over everything. 0.99

02:36:34.000 You had the Joe Exotic shit. 0.99

02:36:37.000 All these things that not everyone's watching, but a lot of the culture are locked in on. 0.99

02:36:42.000 Squid Games.

02:36:43.000 I've never seen a single episode of Squid Games.

02:36:45.000 Really?

02:36:45.000 No, but I know that it's something everyone saw.

02:36:49.000 It's a wild show.

02:36:51.000 What was the one about the guy raising a murderer or making a murderer?

02:36:55.000 Yeah, I didn't see that one either.

02:36:56.000 Yeah, but that was another one that was a cultural thing that everyone saw.

02:37:00.000 There's so many well-made things.

02:37:02.000 Netflix is killing a documentary game.

02:37:05.000 Their documentaries are top-notch.

02:37:07.000 There's so many documentaries out now, too.

02:37:08.000 You could just go on forever.

02:37:10.000 And you never know who's right.

02:37:11.000 Because some documentaries are kind of like propaganda.

02:37:14.000 There's another one that says a totally different thing.

02:37:17.000 Like, hey, who's telling the truth here?

02:37:19.000 We're living in an era of the death of truth.

02:37:22.000 It's so hard to tell what's true now.

02:37:25.000 It kind of is.

02:37:27.000 But also you have more access to the truth than ever before. 0.99

02:37:30.000 But you also have more access to the bullshit. 0.99

02:37:32.000 You do have access to the bullshit, but it takes a while, but you can kind of sort through it. 0.99

02:37:39.000 The scary thing is that as much access to information that people have, People have just as much access to the truth as they do to lies. 0.97

02:37:50.000 But the problem is that it is so much more difficult to convince someone that's been lied to that they've been fooled than it is to fool somebody.

02:38:02.000 So even though the truth and the lies are...

02:38:07.000 Right.

02:38:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:38:27.000 There's so many people that just repeat it, and they don't even know what the fuck they're saying. 0.99

02:38:30.000 Yeah, and especially when the lie is about someone that you've decided you hate. 0.99

02:38:35.000 Yep.

02:38:36.000 Or someone who's opposed to you.

02:38:38.000 Yeah, you won't even question that at all.

02:38:39.000 I know people that hate Trump so much that you can literally tell them, like, yo, did you see Trump? 0.99

02:38:47.000 Trump just sprouted titties last night. 1.00

02:38:51.000 Overnight, big-ass Dolly Parton-sized titties. 1.00

02:38:54.000 And they'll just believe it. 0.97

02:38:55.000 They won't even Google to see if you made it up.

02:38:58.000 They won't Snopes it. 1.00

02:39:00.000 They'll tell the next person, you're fucking Trump's titties. 1.00

02:39:04.000 You understand what I'm saying? 1.00

02:39:06.000 It's the same thing.

02:39:08.000 I'm always suspicious when there's somebody telling me what I want to hear.

02:39:11.000 That's when I get the most suspicious.

02:39:13.000 Yeah, but you're a clever guy.

02:39:14.000 When people are like, oh, yeah, no, you've been right all along.

02:39:17.000 You don't have to change anything.

02:39:18.000 Whenever people are saying that, that's when you just got to start being like, wait.

02:39:22.000 Yeah.

02:39:23.000 Well, when the government starts telling you the earth is flat, that's when you're like, what?

02:39:27.000 Oh, yeah.

02:39:28.000 I remember when COVID first hit, or when they first started telling people about it, and people actually believed that it had just got here in March.

02:39:39.000 When we'd been hearing, we literally, regular people had just been hearing about it in December.

02:39:44.000 And the government was telling us, oh, nothing, nothing, nothing, everything's fine, nothing, nothing.

02:39:49.000 And then in March and April, when they started telling us, everyone was like, well, they just got here. 1.00

02:39:54.000 Like, no, it didn't, motherfucker. 0.99

02:39:55.000 Well, wasn't the first reported cases, was it in Seattle? 0.99

02:39:58.000 Is that where it was, Jamie?

02:40:00.000 Yeah, in America.

02:40:01.000 Yeah.

02:40:01.000 Seattle, yeah.

02:40:02.000 I wonder what time of the year was that?

02:40:05.000 That was like January, February.

02:40:09.000 And it's like, my attitude was always like, once the government starts telling you the truth, the first question you should ask is, when did they start lying?

02:40:17.000 Well, when did they, first of all, when did they know?

02:40:21.000 When did they know and when did they tell us?

02:40:23.000 I remember hearing about COVID in November.

02:40:26.000 Yeah.

02:40:27.000 2019. And then I remember hearing rumors that it was here around maybe the end of January, the beginning of February.

02:40:35.000 Weren't the first infected people in, like, August?

02:40:37.000 In January of 2020, a 35-year-old man presented the urgent care clinic in Shomish County, Washington, with a four-day history of cough and subjective fever.

02:40:47.000 Checking to the clinic, the patient put him on a mask in the waiting room.

02:40:50.000 After waiting approximately 20 minutes, he was taken in an examination room, underwent evaluation by a provider.

02:40:55.000 He disclosed that he had returned to Washington State on January 15th after traveling to visit family in Wuhan, China, just like a movie.

02:41:03.000 The patient stated that he had seen a health alert from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention about the novel coronavirus outbreak in China.

02:41:13.000 And because of his symptoms and recent travel, decided to see a healthcare provider.

02:41:18.000 I remember it spread to Italy also.

02:41:19.000 Oh, yeah.

02:41:20.000 Well, yeah, it was Italy before this.

02:41:23.000 Italy got hit hard.

02:41:24.000 Yeah.

02:41:24.000 Italy got hit hard, right?

02:41:26.000 But it was like, oh, yeah, Italy got fucking ravaged. 0.99

02:41:29.000 They got ravaged. 0.98

02:41:30.000 But that's what I mean.

02:41:32.000 It's like for people to think, oh, now that they are officially revealing it, it wasn't something they were hiding.

02:41:38.000 Right.

02:41:39.000 March 9th was the Italy lockdown.

02:41:41.000 Okay. 0.93

02:41:43.000 No, but it had to be fucking Italy up before that. 0.95

02:41:47.000 Yeah, it had to be fucking them up way before that because March 13th, I think, is when LA locked down. 0.94

02:41:53.000 First case is January 30th. 0.90

02:41:56.000 January.

02:41:57.000 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:41:58.000 We had that UFC event we went to in March.

02:42:02.000 Stylebender fought.

02:42:03.000 Like, March 7th?

02:42:04.000 Mm-hmm.

02:42:05.000 I remember Vegas felt a little weird then.

02:42:07.000 It felt weird.

02:42:07.000 Like, everybody's like, I can't believe we're still doing this.

02:42:09.000 And we knew that it was going to get locked down soon.

02:42:11.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:42:12.000 We thought it was only going to be locked down for a couple weeks.

02:42:15.000 Maybe it was March 9th, LA lockdown.

02:42:17.000 I don't remember, man.

02:42:20.000 Yeah, we thought it was going to be a couple weeks, a couple months.

02:42:22.000 You know who knew?

02:42:24.000 Sebastian knew.

02:42:25.000 How did he know? 0.90

02:42:26.000 I don't fucking know, but I remember when all of it was first kicking off, and he was like, he canceled his tour dates for like a couple years. 0.96

02:42:34.000 Really? 0.96

02:42:34.000 Yeah, he was like, I'm not going for a couple of years. 0.96

02:42:36.000 This is what I was hearing.

02:42:37.000 I don't know him personally, but I was just hearing this, that he was off. 0.98

02:42:40.000 And I was like, how the fuck does he know it's going to be? 0.94

02:42:42.000 Because whoever he talked to, He knew a guy. 0.98

02:42:45.000 He probably knows a guy that's like the virologist or something like that.

02:42:49.000 He's like, nah, it's going to be a couple years.

02:42:52.000 All of us.

02:42:53.000 I didn't think it was going to last that long.

02:42:55.000 No, I didn't think so either.

02:42:56.000 And it's technically still not over.

02:43:01.000 Well, it's going to be a part of us forever.

02:43:03.000 It's going to always be here.

02:43:05.000 There's going to be always new COVIDs.

02:43:07.000 It's just in our system now.

02:43:09.000 It's just like colds.

02:43:10.000 Yeah, we need one.

02:43:11.000 I have a whole bit about this in my special, but it's like, until it's a disease, the next one has to be one that makes us ugly.

02:43:18.000 If it doesn't affect how you look, you ain't gonna get people to stay in the house no more.

02:43:23.000 Well, you can't stop a respiratory disease.

02:43:27.000 It's never been contained.

02:43:28.000 They've never had a single respiratory disease that they've contained.

02:43:32.000 People are breathing air.

02:43:34.000 You're literally exchanging particles.

02:43:37.000 You're going to come around people.

02:43:38.000 They're going to come around each other.

02:43:39.000 They have to to get food.

02:43:41.000 They have to to interact with each other.

02:43:44.000 You're just going to fight off the inevitable.

02:43:46.000 And the problem with fighting off the inevitable is are you weakening their immune systems by separating them from everybody else?

02:43:52.000 They will find a way.

02:43:53.000 Like, imagine if...

02:43:54.000 Right, it's just not smart.

02:43:56.000 Instead of affecting your lungs, if COVID just shrank one of your arms.

02:44:00.000 Right.

02:44:00.000 If your arms just started shrinking every time you coughed.

02:44:04.000 It's like, eventually we find something.

02:44:07.000 Maybe.

02:44:07.000 Like, if you could tell people had it just from looking at them.

02:44:09.000 It'd be a good way to use depopulation.

02:44:13.000 Give everybody a little arms?

02:44:14.000 Yeah, just get people to not take whatever medication doesn't make your arms a little...

02:44:20.000 And it's your dominant hand, too.

02:44:22.000 So that way it's a bunch of frustrated people. 0.98

02:44:24.000 They got to masturbate with the other hand. 1.00

02:44:25.000 They got to foot jerk off. 1.00

02:44:27.000 Oh! 0.60

02:44:28.000 You got to develop real flexibility.

02:44:30.000 Would you even do that if you could?

02:44:33.000 No way. 1.00

02:44:34.000 No way I put my feet anywhere near my dick. 1.00

02:44:37.000 Those are two... 1.00

02:44:39.000 Those are two parts of my body that I respect completely differently.

02:44:42.000 Yeah, completely differently.

02:44:44.000 Oh, my feet.

02:44:45.000 I treat my feet like they're immune to everything.

02:44:50.000 Yeah.

02:44:50.000 Hell yeah.

02:44:51.000 I slam my feet into things all the time.

02:44:54.000 Yeah, slam, stomp. 1.00

02:44:56.000 Yeah, but I mean, I kick things.

02:44:58.000 They're the most neglected.

02:44:59.000 That's the last thing I wash.

02:45:01.000 Yeah.

02:45:01.000 Yeah, it's like everything else gets ran over.

02:45:03.000 Exactly.

02:45:04.000 The feet are the most disrespected.

02:45:05.000 No way they need to be near my delicate flower.

02:45:10.000 You know?

02:45:11.000 Yeah.

02:45:13.000 Yeah, I strengthen my feet.

02:45:15.000 I do a bunch of different things.

02:45:16.000 Self-foot jobs.

02:45:18.000 Is that even a thing?

02:45:19.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:45:20.000 It's got to be like some Hindu dude that could jerk himself off of his feet. 1.00

02:45:23.000 You would definitely need both feet. 0.98

02:45:24.000 Yeah, just to get a grip.

02:45:26.000 You'd have to have, like, crazy dexterity and flexibility. 0.99

02:45:29.000 Oh shit, what is Jamie? 0.99

02:45:30.000 Jamie, Google. 1.00

02:45:31.000 Jerks himself off with his feet.

02:45:33.000 I know it exists.

02:45:34.000 I'm picturing people working on it.

02:45:35.000 But what was it called?

02:45:36.000 I guarantee you someone can do it.

02:45:38.000 I saw a dude that lays down on a bench, like, so he's doing bench press.

02:45:43.000 He lays down flat, where his face is, you know, his chest is down on the bench, and then bends his back.

02:45:50.000 Ugh.

02:45:50.000 All the way, so that the back of his head is touching his legs, and then he bench presses.

02:45:55.000 All right, before I choose one to look at, because there's a lot that are popping up.

02:45:58.000 Self-foot job game port videos.

02:46:00.000 I think we've seen enough.

02:46:01.000 I think we've seen enough.

02:46:03.000 I don't want to click on that.

02:46:04.000 Also, you probably couldn't even see it in Texas anyway.

02:46:07.000 Yeah, right?

02:46:07.000 We'd have to show that we're of age.

02:46:10.000 Well, you go through a VPN. Some people are getting that wrong, and they think that it's Texas blocking porn.

02:46:17.000 But it's the porn site blocking Texas.

02:46:20.000 Because Texas has rules where you have to prove how old you are before you can see porn.

02:46:24.000 Right.

02:46:25.000 Well, we already have that, though.

02:46:28.000 That's the problem.

02:46:29.000 What do you mean?

02:46:30.000 You already have to say you 18. Yeah, but you could lie.

02:46:33.000 Right, right.

02:46:34.000 This is the thing is that everybody can just click on it.

02:46:36.000 You can be four years old and go, pfft, I'm 18. Right, right.

02:46:39.000 That's the problem.

02:46:40.000 But isn't porn one of those things where I feel like once you're old enough to start looking for it, that you kind of earned it?

02:46:46.000 If you can find it, that's part of being a young man. 0.97

02:46:51.000 I don't know any man that was like, oh yeah, I waited until it was legal for me to see some titties. 1.00

02:46:58.000 It's like, no, motherfucker. 1.00

02:46:59.000 That's part of growing up. 1.00

02:47:01.000 Yeah.

02:47:02.000 Yeah, every young man's childhood is about that first time he saw some titties.

02:47:06.000 And it was never of age.

02:47:09.000 I'm not saying that you should be actively showing your kids some titties, but if they can search for titties, they've earned the right to see some.

02:47:18.000 Yes, I'm with you. 0.82

02:47:20.000 You know, that's just me.

02:47:22.000 Because nothing's wrong with the way things work right now.

02:47:26.000 Because I understand a new law was passed.

02:47:29.000 I thought it was fine the way it was working.

02:47:31.000 Well, you're not four.

02:47:33.000 Right, right. 1.00

02:47:33.000 You're a four-year-old with a fucking iPad, and you're watching some lady gagging on a giant dick, and that's like your first exposure to sex. 1.00

02:47:41.000 It's a little wild, and that's something that's happening to kids. 1.00

02:47:44.000 So if there was a way that you could stop kids, like not just regulate it, but make it so like you have to show how old you are.

02:47:52.000 You have to.

02:47:53.000 But there's no way to do that.

02:47:54.000 Because here's the other thing.

02:47:55.000 Here's the other part of this.

02:47:57.000 You can get all the VPNs and all this other stuff.

02:48:01.000 Here's the thing.

02:48:02.000 These kids is so tech savvy that Anything you're doing that's regulating the internet is going to affect adults more than kids.

02:48:13.000 The kids are going to be the first ones to find a way around what you're doing.

02:48:15.000 Right.

02:48:17.000 All you're doing is frustrating old dudes that's retired. 0.98

02:48:20.000 They're just going to go to school. 1.00

02:48:21.000 There's going to be that one ne'er-do-well kid who knows how to get the fucking crazy shit. 1.00

02:48:25.000 You're just shifting the power balance. 1.00

02:48:27.000 The nerdy kids are going to have fucking titty pics and all kind of stuff. 0.99

02:48:33.000 It's going to be a little black market in school. 0.99

02:48:36.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:48:36.000 It's going to be the porn kid. 0.98

02:48:38.000 Yeah, you can't stop. 1.00

02:48:40.000 When it comes to fucking and stuff like that, you can't stop that. 1.00

02:48:44.000 Because I don't know any four-year-olds just Googling titties, at least not for sexual reasons. 1.00

02:48:48.000 The real precocious four-year-olds? 0.95

02:48:50.000 Yeah, they might be curious without making a sexual connection, but...

02:48:54.000 By the time they're in middle school, once the kids decided that they're on that journey, they're after it, buddy.

02:49:01.000 Yeah, you can't get in the way.

02:49:03.000 Once they know it's real.

02:49:05.000 Because every parent hits that point.

02:49:08.000 Every parent that has a boy, they hit that point where it's like... 1.00

02:49:10.000 That motherfucker taking long showers. 1.00

02:49:13.000 Why is he sticky? 1.00

02:49:15.000 It's like we all know what's happening and you can't stop them. 0.95

02:49:20.000 They don't give a fuck about getting caught. 0.99

02:49:21.000 They don't give a fuck about God seeing them. 1.00

02:49:24.000 Kids have been raised up in the church. 0.98

02:49:27.000 They know God looking at them.

02:49:28.000 And they're like, God and Granny are both looking, I'm not stopping.

02:49:31.000 Yeah.

02:49:32.000 Yeah, there's no law you're passing that's stopping people. 1.00

02:49:34.000 It's like, when you, because if you really believe all that shit, you know, you think, you really think you're jerking off in front of God and all your loved ones. 1.00

02:49:42.000 And you're still not going to stop. 1.00

02:49:45.000 And all you need is a VPN. Right.

02:49:47.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:49:47.000 And we used to do that shit straight up our imaginations. 0.99

02:49:50.000 Nah, these kids got AI, all that. 1.00

02:49:53.000 You're not going to stop people from jerking off. 0.99

02:49:55.000 Well, they're going to get to a point where they have VR porn, where it's CGI VR porn. 0.99

02:50:01.000 You could design the woman. 0.87

02:50:02.000 Yep. 0.98

02:50:03.000 You'll get to be able to experience everything that, like, is having sex with us. 0.95

02:50:06.000 You can just decide.

02:50:08.000 Like, maybe some girl you went to high school with, like, God, I wish you loved me. 0.99

02:50:11.000 You're like, yo, I want to fuck Meryl Streep, but in the middle of every role she's ever played. 1.00

02:50:17.000 I want her face to just keep changing. 0.99

02:50:19.000 Oh, no, that'd be too weird.

02:50:22.000 As it gets old.

02:50:23.000 Oh, yeah.

02:50:23.000 Especially when you got the doubt.

02:50:25.000 Yeah.

02:50:25.000 What am I doing?

02:50:26.000 Yeah, but I... That's going to be a problem.

02:50:29.000 You're going to have... 0.96

02:50:30.000 If you can construct a robot sex doll, you're going to be able to construct it in the face of a celebrity. 0.98

02:50:37.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97

02:50:37.000 I'm signing up for that. 0.97

02:50:38.000 As soon as it's available.

02:50:40.000 I'm going to get one before Redman.

02:50:42.000 I swear.

02:50:43.000 That's going to be so strange.

02:50:45.000 Imagine if you find out there's like... 0.98

02:50:47.000 Five million guys that have Taylor Swift sex dolls. 0.92

02:50:50.000 She's got to think about that. 1.00

02:50:52.000 Five million guys just bang her sex doll. 1.00

02:50:55.000 I think those celebrity women are worried about the wrong shit. 1.00

02:51:00.000 I think what's going to end up happening is someone's going to... 0.99

02:51:04.000 Custom design a woman's face that we couldn't have imagined. 0.93

02:51:10.000 It's gonna be like whatever mathematically perfect beauty is, someone's gonna design one of those.

02:51:16.000 And then everyone's gonna have the same one.

02:51:20.000 And then we'll find out.

02:51:22.000 That's when you really find out what preferences are and what is just what you know you can get.

02:51:28.000 They just...

02:51:28.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:51:30.000 Oh, yeah.

02:51:31.000 Because there's some guys that you always see them with the same type of girl.

02:51:35.000 Is that the kind of girl that's attracted to you?

02:51:38.000 Is that what you...

02:51:41.000 That's going to be a very weird thing to be able to do.

02:51:44.000 Just decide...

02:51:47.000 What kind of mate you want? 0.65

02:51:49.000 What robot mate you want? 0.99

02:51:52.000 Well, that's going to take some real emotional soul searching because most people are wrong about what they want.

02:51:58.000 I bet they have a process.

02:51:59.000 I bet they just have access to your Google data that they already have.

02:52:02.000 And then she just shows up.

02:52:04.000 This hot Russian lady just shows up and starts talking to you. 1.00

02:52:07.000 That's the way they're going to do it.

02:52:09.000 And she's going to put her hand on your hip and say, I'm so excited to get to know you.

02:52:15.000 And you're going to be like, I'm really excited to get to know you too.

02:52:18.000 Let's get out of here.

02:52:19.000 It's the end of the human race.

02:52:20.000 And you're like, oh my god, let's get out of here.

02:52:22.000 And she's perfect.

02:52:23.000 She's perfect.

02:52:24.000 And she smells good.

02:52:26.000 And she's soft like a person.

02:52:28.000 Doesn't feel like a robot.

02:52:29.000 It's going to be just like social media.

02:52:30.000 It's going to be one of those things that everyone knows is bad for us all.

02:52:36.000 And we all going to slowly...

02:52:38.000 Remember when people first started talking about meeting online?

02:52:43.000 How...

02:52:44.000 Like, all the negative connotations that came along with that.

02:52:46.000 Like, where did y'all meet?

02:52:47.000 Online.

02:52:48.000 Right.

02:52:49.000 Right?

02:52:49.000 And now it's like, everyone's like, oh, you're not on the apps?

02:52:52.000 Yeah.

02:52:52.000 It's going to be the same thing.

02:52:53.000 At first, it's going to be like, oh, you fucking weirdo. 1.00

02:52:55.000 You got a little programmable wife over there. 1.00

02:52:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:52:58.000 But eventually, it's going to be like, okay, well, now Will Smith has a programmable wife.

02:53:02.000 You know what's going to be the problem? 0.56

02:53:03.000 They're dogs.

02:53:05.000 Dogs aren't going to accept them. 0.95

02:53:08.000 You think so?

02:53:12.000 Yeah, they're going to sense it's a robot, man.

02:53:14.000 They're going to be like...

02:53:15.000 They're going to know that's not a person.

02:53:19.000 That thing doesn't smell real.

02:53:22.000 That thing is a fake thing.

02:53:24.000 You get an upgrade where she squirts liver juice out of her ankle. 1.00

02:53:28.000 Dogs know things.

02:53:29.000 They can hear sounds you can't hear. 1.00

02:53:31.000 They hear like burrs and whistles and fucking gears spinning. 1.00

02:53:35.000 It doesn't matter. 1.00

02:53:36.000 No.

02:53:37.000 They'll figure it out.

02:53:39.000 Uh-uh.

02:53:39.000 Cats are the ones that are going to be hard.

02:53:41.000 It depends on which dog.

02:53:43.000 What kind of dog you have.

02:53:44.000 You have a Belgian Malinois? 1.00

02:53:46.000 They're going to kill that robot. 0.98

02:53:49.000 No way. 1.00

02:53:49.000 They're going to wait until you leave the house and you're going to come home and your robot sex slave is going to be torn apart in your living room. 1.00

02:53:56.000 Like all the wiring ripped out of her neck and your dog is going to be standing over her. 1.00

02:54:02.000 No.

02:54:03.000 Yep, 100%. 1.00

02:54:04.000 They're gonna know that's not a fucking person. 0.99

02:54:07.000 Yeah, but you think that it would have to, like, does it need it to be a person? 0.99

02:54:13.000 100%.

02:54:14.000 If it's your protector.

02:54:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:54:17.000 If you have a dog, like, Carnet Corso, one of those big-ass fucking hulking mastiff dogs that's, like, very loyal to their owner, and they see a robot in the house, like... 0.98

02:54:28.000 Yeah, but do you know what that's going to mean? 0.99

02:54:30.000 That's going to mean a lot of people getting rid of their dogs. 0.76

02:54:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:54:33.000 If you're choosing between pussy and dogs, especially when you... 1.00

02:54:37.000 Because how much would it change the world when you have a bunch of guys that can't even get laid at all, and all of a sudden they're banging the hottest woman they can think of? 1.00

02:54:49.000 The hottest woman humanly available. 0.75

02:54:51.000 Right.

02:54:52.000 And what happens to those guys' personalities?

02:54:55.000 It's over.

02:54:55.000 Look, if they just make it economical, so they make it like a cell phone.

02:55:00.000 Everybody has a cell phone. 0.99

02:55:01.000 If you make a robot fuck doll economical, it's over for the human race. 0.99

02:55:06.000 I was just looking at a thing where they just cloned, they just did two mice. 1.00

02:55:13.000 Out of two male mice, they had an offspring.

02:55:17.000 You see this? 0.99

02:55:19.000 How gay is that mouse going to be? 1.00

02:55:21.000 I don't know if they know if the mouse is a regular mouse yet. 0.99

02:55:26.000 Whoa.

02:55:27.000 What if it's a demon?

02:55:27.000 I don't know if they know if the third mouse can reproduce.

02:55:29.000 I think that's what they gotta wait to see.

02:55:31.000 Yeah, I am fucking really confused that people seem to want to go down the path of every bad science fiction movie.

02:55:39.000 Well, it's because once you hit that point where people can build an AI-powered... 0.60

02:55:45.000 Scientists create mice with cells from two mice for the first time.

02:55:49.000 Wow.

02:55:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:55:51.000 Holy shit, man. 1.00

02:55:52.000 They did it with females a few years ago. 1.00

02:55:53.000 What was the new thing that they did?

02:55:55.000 Scientists at Harvard have managed to reverse the age of a mouse.

02:55:59.000 They took an old mouse and they made it young again. 0.99

02:56:01.000 And this mouse looked old as fuck, dude. 0.99

02:56:04.000 This mouse looked like they have two photos. 0.99

02:56:06.000 They better not have used fake photos.

02:56:07.000 Was this the guy? 1.00

02:56:08.000 Did they use that shit? 1.00

02:56:10.000 You know that one Russian guy that he got some ancient bacteria from the ice and he put it in himself? 1.00

02:56:17.000 What?

02:56:17.000 Because he noticed that it was keeping everything young, everything that it touched.

02:56:23.000 These fucking scientists are psychos. 1.00

02:56:25.000 It worked though. 1.00

02:56:26.000 What do you mean it worked?

02:56:27.000 He's younger now?

02:56:28.000 He's biologically younger now.

02:56:29.000 He's not aging.

02:56:30.000 What are you talking about?

02:56:31.000 Is this real?

02:56:32.000 Yeah.

02:56:32.000 I don't know about this.

02:56:34.000 I thought I talked to you about it.

02:56:35.000 I think you did.

02:56:37.000 I think you probably talked to me about it.

02:56:38.000 So this is the mouse.

02:56:40.000 Look at this.

02:56:40.000 So that's not accurate.

02:56:41.000 I knew it.

02:56:42.000 One's a brother, one's sister.

02:56:44.000 They're born at the same time.

02:56:45.000 One's been altered, one hasn't.

02:56:47.000 Oh, so the one that's altered is way younger. 1.00

02:56:50.000 And the one that's the brother is fucked and about to die. 0.96

02:56:53.000 So that is a sign that they've done something to the aging of the mice. 0.99

02:56:57.000 These mice are brother and sister, born in the same litter.

02:57:00.000 One has been genetically altered to be old.

02:57:04.000 Oh, now scientists say they've been able to reverse aging as well.

02:57:10.000 They can reverse aging in mice.

02:57:12.000 The goals do the same for humans.

02:57:14.000 Okay, this is David Sinclair's lab.

02:57:16.000 So, Dr. Bruchkov.

02:57:20.000 Dr. Bruchkov.

02:57:22.000 This is the guy that injected the ancient bacteria.

02:57:24.000 The 3.5 million year old ancient bacteria.

02:57:27.000 What is he doing?

02:57:28.000 B-R-O-U-C-H-K-O-V. Yeah, he injects himself. 0.99

02:57:35.000 Imagine just having the balls to do that. 0.98

02:57:39.000 You find some bacteria in ancient ice, you rejuvenate it, it's still alive, and then... 1.00

02:57:45.000 What a psycho.

02:57:45.000 The bacteria that doesn't die.

02:57:48.000 So what does he do?

02:57:49.000 He first discovered this ancient bacteria, Bacillus F, in 2009, frozen deep in the permafrost in a mountain in Siberia's Yakutsk region,

02:58:07.000 like even deeper in the permafrost than woolly mammoth remains.

02:58:10.000 Dr. Brukoff estimated it was 3.5 million years old. 0.99

02:58:19.000 Holy shit. 0.97

02:58:21.000 Bacillus F seems to make everything around it live longer, too. 0.99

02:58:25.000 I don't shine.

02:58:26.000 If you don't shine, it would say if it could talk.

02:58:29.000 Early studies have looked at its effect on mice, fruit flies, and crops, and the results have been so promising that Dr. Viktor Chernyovsky, a Russian epidemiologist, has called it an elixir of life. 0.99

02:58:43.000 So this dude injected this shit? 0.99

02:58:45.000 Yeah, eventually he does. 1.00

02:58:46.000 Bruchov does.

02:58:48.000 Does it show what happened when he injected it, Jamie?

02:58:51.000 No, but looking back, I thought we had talked about this before.

02:58:56.000 I think we did.

02:58:57.000 Now that you're bringing it up.

02:58:58.000 Bro, my hard drive is fried.

02:59:01.000 My mental hard drive of information, it's taxed beyond belief.

02:59:06.000 There's a story here of where this happened back in 2015, not 2019. This is, yeah.

02:59:12.000 So he injected it, though.

02:59:13.000 Go to where he injected it, because that's part of the title of it.

02:59:17.000 It says he found it and he injected it himself.

02:59:19.000 So what was the result?

02:59:22.000 I don't know.

02:59:22.000 Scientists who said YOLO. I don't think anyone's ever found out what happened.

02:59:27.000 Okay, but scroll down.

02:59:28.000 It was right there.

02:59:30.000 Where's the YOLO thing?

02:59:31.000 Scroll down there.

02:59:32.000 Okay.

02:59:34.000 So he decided YOLO. He injected himself with the bacteria.

02:59:38.000 He'd inject himself with the bacteria and see what happened.

02:59:41.000 It's not real science he's acknowledged.

02:59:43.000 In other words, it's not a controlled trial, but maybe now he'll live forever.

02:59:46.000 He's definitely still alive and he says he's feeling better than ever.

02:59:49.000 In 2015, he said he hadn't had a cold or a flu in two years since he injected himself.

02:59:54.000 He also reported higher energy levels.

02:59:57.000 It could all be the placebo effect, or it could be something more.

02:59:59.000 We need to know more research. 1.00

03:00:01.000 He's a fucking Spider-Man villain. 1.00

03:00:04.000 Yeah, that's why. 1.00

03:00:04.000 This dude's a Spider-Man villain. 1.00

03:00:06.000 I mean, they're so nuts. 1.00

03:00:07.000 Scientists are so fucking nuts. 1.00

03:00:11.000 How is he now? 1.00

03:00:15.000 I mean, he's venom. 0.68

03:00:16.000 Now he's venom.

03:00:17.000 Yeah, I mean, but he said he felt better than ever.

03:00:19.000 But what a wild thing to do to yourself.

03:00:21.000 Inject yourself with a bacteria that helps things that are around it. 0.99

03:00:25.000 Are you fucking sure? 0.95

03:00:26.000 Because especially since you discovered it, you're the world's foremost expert on it. 0.96

03:00:31.000 So if something goes wrong, there's nobody that can help you.

03:00:34.000 And he's so confident that he's right, that he injected himself.

03:00:39.000 Yeah.

03:00:40.000 Why is there no update?

03:00:42.000 Because he's dead.

03:00:44.000 He lives on the moon now. 1.00

03:00:45.000 He's fucking Dr. Manhattan. 0.99

03:00:46.000 But I'm pretty sure he hired some poor Russian lady to do it first. 1.00

03:00:53.000 What?

03:00:54.000 I'm pretty sure that he hired a model or someone to try it.

03:00:58.000 What?

03:00:59.000 Oh, that's creepy. 0.99

03:01:01.000 There's something about doing it yourself that's kind of noble, but hiring somebody else, that's kind of a bitch move. 1.00

03:01:06.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.98

03:01:07.000 I'm going to practice on a poor person first.

03:01:09.000 It is a wild thing to do, to just put it in a body for the first time.

03:01:13.000 Yeah, but you know what, though?

03:01:13.000 She might have done it after him, to be honest with you.

03:01:16.000 Yeah, no, 100%.

03:01:18.000 I think that's why we talked about this.

03:01:21.000 We talked about the lady who found out about this story, found the same stuff, and injected herself with it.

03:01:25.000 Okay, right.

03:01:27.000 Interesting.

03:01:28.000 Well, she wanted to stay alive forever, and never, never, never.

03:01:31.000 See, that's the thing.

03:01:32.000 I don't think anybody wants to live forever.

03:01:33.000 They want to be hot forever.

03:01:35.000 Yeah, here.

03:01:35.000 There's an actress.

03:01:37.000 Actress did it. 1.00

03:01:38.000 Oh my god.

03:01:39.000 Aging is a disease.

03:01:40.000 Actress inject herself with 3.5 million year old bacteria.

03:01:43.000 How did she get it?

03:01:44.000 From the doctor, I think.

03:01:46.000 I think she contacted the doctor.

03:01:47.000 She's banging the doctor. 0.78

03:01:49.000 Wow.

03:01:49.000 I mean, yeah, she got a hell of a doctor.

03:01:51.000 Oh, boy.

03:01:52.000 The team who unlocked the DNA code in 2015 say that unlike cells in nature, Bacillus F shows no signs of aging and believe it could hold the key to unlocking improved human health and longevity.

03:02:03.000 What a crazy beginning to a science fiction movie.

03:02:06.000 They found a bacteria that's three and a half million years old and won't die.

03:02:11.000 And they just said, well, let's just stick it in us.

03:02:14.000 I can find out what she said.

03:02:16.000 Just to see if it'll keep me around.

03:02:18.000 What if it works?

03:02:19.000 What if that dude, like we come back to him 10, 20 years from now, he hasn't aged at all.

03:02:23.000 He looks exactly the same.

03:02:24.000 It's doing something.

03:02:25.000 But I have not heard anything about this guy since that.

03:02:28.000 Right.

03:02:28.000 So that was like four years ago, five years ago.

03:02:31.000 It might be a disaster.

03:02:31.000 It might be terrible now.

03:02:33.000 Who knows? 1.00

03:02:34.000 Or it's increasing your life and shrinking your dick. 1.00

03:02:38.000 Like, I feel so much better. 1.00

03:02:39.000 I don't even notice.

03:02:40.000 It's just becoming an innie. 0.99

03:02:43.000 If there was a thing that really could turn you into a woman, like not just getting castrated and developing a hole that they put in you to create a vagina for you, but if you could really become a woman, that's when things would be wild. 1.00

03:02:57.000 You could just change everything about you. 0.98

03:03:01.000 Well, the thing is, if there was a trial period, every dude would use it.

03:03:07.000 Every man I know was like, I'll do it for a day or two. 1.00

03:03:10.000 Just know what the fuck is going on in their brains. 1.00

03:03:14.000 What if you couldn't go back, though? 1.00

03:03:18.000 Well, that's also the beginning of a scary movie.

03:03:21.000 Yeah, like it breaks.

03:03:22.000 Trading places, gender edition?

03:03:24.000 Yeah, maybe the go back to male just doesn't work right.

03:03:26.000 You look always feminine forever. 1.00

03:03:28.000 You know, something about you.

03:03:30.000 You're always feminine. 1.00

03:03:31.000 Like there's a price you pay every time you transform?

03:03:33.000 Right.

03:03:33.000 You become more androgynous.

03:03:36.000 They melt together with each one.

03:03:38.000 Right.

03:03:39.000 What you end up with is just a coin flip.

03:03:41.000 Yeah, you're everything.

03:03:42.000 Dude, there's a girl that's going viral right now because she has a disorder that makes her grow like a full-on thick beard. 1.00

03:03:53.000 I saw that, yeah.

03:03:54.000 And I was like...

03:03:55.000 Might want to shave.

03:03:57.000 Yeah.

03:03:58.000 Yeah.

03:03:59.000 Wouldn't be so hard to shave that, right?

03:04:01.000 I don't know.

03:04:02.000 I don't know how hard it is for her, but I know I'd have tried everything.

03:04:05.000 I think a little shave would be in order.

03:04:08.000 I think a little shave.

03:04:09.000 But who knows what she looks like without the beard.

03:04:11.000 I don't like what I look like when I grow a beard.

03:04:13.000 So I shave.

03:04:14.000 This is not her.

03:04:16.000 No, I've seen that condition.

03:04:19.000 That condition is crazy.

03:04:20.000 That's like a wolf person condition.

03:04:21.000 Yeah, that's like the Harry and the Hendersons.

03:04:23.000 Yeah, I've seen that.

03:04:25.000 No, but this woman... 1.00

03:04:26.000 I wonder what that comes from.

03:04:27.000 Oh, right here.

03:04:27.000 That's the girl right there.

03:04:28.000 Youngest female with the...

03:04:29.000 But this is like a thing forever.

03:04:31.000 She's in the Guinness Book of World Records.

03:04:32.000 It could be cosplay.

03:04:34.000 Yeah, there's always been a bearded lady. 1.00

03:04:36.000 Could be a little cosplay.

03:04:38.000 Yeah, it does look a little extra.

03:04:40.000 She just might have got some wacky jeans, man. 0.99

03:04:43.000 Apparently it's 10%.

03:04:44.000 10% of women have... 1.00

03:04:46.000 Beards?

03:04:47.000 No, have whatever disorder she has that makes her have a beard. 1.00

03:04:51.000 Oh, really?

03:04:53.000 Wow.

03:04:53.000 That's crazy.

03:04:55.000 She's very pretty, though.

03:04:56.000 If she got rid of the beard, she'd be hot. 1.00

03:04:58.000 Shave that shit. 1.00

03:04:59.000 But I just can't imagine going through the tees in this shit. 1.00

03:05:02.000 But don't you think that you get a lot of attention for being a lady with the beard, too? 0.99

03:05:06.000 But is it the kind of attention you want?

03:05:07.000 I don't know.

03:05:08.000 No.

03:05:08.000 You have to ask her.

03:05:10.000 You have to ask her.

03:05:11.000 In this day and age, you might be able to get away with it.

03:05:14.000 You know, this day and age, like, being a woman with a beard is kind of wild. 1.00

03:05:18.000 So I went from never hearing about this lady to the first thing someone sent me a video of her talking about how, like, her problem is that the dudes that's into her are very, like, effeminate. 0.94

03:05:29.000 And she's actually a very girly girl.

03:05:32.000 Right.

03:05:32.000 And she wants manly men, but manly men don't want a girl with a beard.

03:05:37.000 So shave.

03:05:38.000 Right.

03:05:39.000 It's like, you're going to be by yourself, babe.

03:05:41.000 Is that a religious thing?

03:05:42.000 No, the beard thing?

03:05:43.000 Yeah, is she not allowed to shave? 0.90

03:05:45.000 No, no.

03:05:46.000 I don't think it has anything to do with her religion at all.

03:05:49.000 So she just decides, accept me for who I am?

03:05:51.000 Right.

03:05:52.000 Are there religions where women aren't allowed to shave their face? 1.00

03:05:55.000 I don't think so.

03:05:56.000 That would be a good religion if you wanted to make sure, how hairy are you for real, for real? 0.92

03:06:00.000 Because every woman rule in a religion is to benefit men somehow. 1.00

03:06:07.000 Yes, that's what I was saying.

03:06:08.000 But if they said they couldn't shave, so you wouldn't be able to be deceived.

03:06:12.000 No.

03:06:12.000 Like, how hairy are you?

03:06:14.000 You could just tell different groups of dudes came up with...

03:06:17.000 Like, what religion is it?

03:06:19.000 When you're on your period, you have to go away?

03:06:21.000 Hold on.

03:06:21.000 Many religions, including Sikhism, Islam, and sects of Judaism, require that men and women do not cut their hair or that men do not shave their beards.

03:06:31.000 So if the women can't cut their hair, they can't cut their face hair. 1.00

03:06:34.000 No, they can.

03:06:35.000 Are you sure?

03:06:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:06:36.000 That just said they couldn't.

03:06:38.000 Many sex.

03:06:38.000 Is that what he said?

03:06:39.000 Many sex of it?

03:06:40.000 Is that what the terminology?

03:06:43.000 I think the hair they just mean on their head.

03:06:45.000 It does, but...

03:06:46.000 They got hair.

03:06:47.000 It's your face hair.

03:06:48.000 You leave it alone.

03:06:49.000 They might take it literally and go any hair coming from your head.

03:06:52.000 That might be what it is, dude.

03:06:54.000 For her?

03:06:55.000 No, no.

03:06:56.000 She's seek. 0.83

03:06:56.000 She can cut her. 0.83

03:06:57.000 She can shave her. 0.99

03:06:58.000 Didn't it say seek?

03:06:58.000 Wasn't that one of the options?

03:07:00.000 Right, but not for beards.

03:07:02.000 How do you know?

03:07:03.000 Maybe they told her.

03:07:05.000 Maybe she had to consult.

03:07:06.000 Yeah, maybe.

03:07:07.000 Yeah, maybe you're right.

03:07:08.000 They say you can't cut your hair.

03:07:09.000 Face hair is hair.

03:07:11.000 We'll look that up.

03:07:11.000 Can women shave their facial hair in Sikhism?

03:07:15.000 Sikh believers believe women included should refrain from chopping, trimming, shaving, waxing, or even tweezing their hair, which would be hair in general.

03:07:22.000 Your face.

03:07:22.000 Yeah.

03:07:23.000 While there are no penalties as such, doing otherwise is considered disrespectful to the religion.

03:07:27.000 Yeah.

03:07:28.000 So she's got to keep it.

03:07:29.000 It's the religion. 0.97

03:07:32.000 Well, listen, I think she needs to talk to some of them other Sikh bitches, because I'm pretty sure she ain't the only one with that issue, and I'm pretty sure all of them kind of go, I don't know. 1.00

03:07:42.000 Skirk the rules a little bit. 0.97

03:07:42.000 Nobody's got it like that, though. 0.97

03:07:44.000 Yeah, that's bad.

03:07:45.000 Here's one leaning towards what Brian's saying, but it still is like, it's ideal Sikh woman for most Sikhs. 0.95

03:07:51.000 It says very, who keeps the hair on their head but removes facial and body hair.

03:07:55.000 It says the way Cass is performed for Sikh women is currently heavily influenced by patriarchy.

03:08:02.000 The ideal Sikh woman for most Sikhs, of course, is one who keeps their hair on her head but still removes facial and body hair. 0.75

03:08:13.000 Hmm.

03:08:13.000 Heavily influenced by patriarchy.

03:08:15.000 That's funny.

03:08:16.000 I don't know no...

03:08:17.000 Because I think that's also women want to have shaved legs too, don't they? 1.00

03:08:23.000 I don't think so.

03:08:24.000 If you make them like...

03:08:26.000 No, but if you say that they're allowed to, make it so that they're allowed in the religion to shave their legs, I think they're probably going to want their legs to be smooth.

03:08:35.000 Most women, they're not necessarily... 1.00

03:08:37.000 They're shaving their legs for men, but they're also shaving their legs to look hot. 0.90

03:08:41.000 They think it looks better that way.

03:08:43.000 If you allow them to...

03:08:44.000 That's only because we think it looks hot.

03:08:47.000 Is that what it is?

03:08:47.000 I think it would surprise you the amount of...

03:08:52.000 If you took away all social judgment for body hair, I think it would shock you how many women would have armpit hair, coochie hair, leg hair, all that.

03:09:03.000 It is kind of crazy that trimming hair and body hair, especially for women, It's so common.

03:09:09.000 It's so everywhere.

03:09:10.000 It's so standard that the idea of letting it grow is crazy.

03:09:14.000 Right.

03:09:15.000 It's insane.

03:09:16.000 Insane. 0.86

03:09:17.000 Like crazy hairy legs. 0.94

03:09:18.000 It's like, what are you doing? 0.87

03:09:19.000 When that's just what you're supposed to look like.

03:09:22.000 And for all of human history, that's what people look like. 0.87

03:09:25.000 Yeah.

03:09:25.000 We went over this before, like, what year?

03:09:28.000 1920s, right?

03:09:30.000 In the 1920s, a new fashion for sleeveless tops and short dresses meant that legs and armpits of American women were now visible in social situations. 0.99

03:09:38.000 And advertisers seized on the opportunity to encourage women to shave their legs and their armpits. 0.93

03:09:43.000 So that was in the 20s. 0.91

03:09:45.000 So up until the 20s, everybody was a beast. 0.77

03:09:48.000 Just beasts.

03:09:50.000 Yeah.

03:09:50.000 Just chaos.

03:09:51.000 And I don't know...

03:09:53.000 Because when you hear the argument against it, it always sounds good on paper.

03:09:57.000 When people are like, everyone should just be free to just have it, just natural and grow like that.

03:10:02.000 And I'm like, yeah, I agree with that.

03:10:03.000 But then when you see it in action, you're like, no, I prefer.

03:10:08.000 Yeah.

03:10:08.000 Yeah, I need you to not have a mustache, babe.

03:10:10.000 It's nice that we can do whatever we want.

03:10:13.000 Right, that's beautiful.

03:10:14.000 If you want to shave, shave, you don't, don't.

03:10:16.000 Ancient Europeans— Big Egyptians. 1.00

03:10:17.000 Oh, excuse me.

03:10:18.000 Ancient Egyptians achieved their clean look with depilatory creams, also like a hair-killing cream, and would then repeatedly rub their faces, heads, arms, and legs with a pumice stone to remove all hair. 0.99

03:10:32.000 Damn! 0.99

03:10:33.000 Oh my god. 1.00

03:10:35.000 You definitely couldn't shave your pussy in A.J.H. Oh my God. 1.00

03:10:38.000 Can you imagine?

03:10:40.000 Jesus Christ.

03:10:41.000 Those people, they were tough humans.

03:10:44.000 Let's wrap this up.

03:10:44.000 Just a shot.

03:10:45.000 Brian Simpson, you're the fucking man. 1.00

03:10:47.000 Appreciate you. 1.00

03:10:47.000 Looking forward to working with you tonight. 1.00

03:10:49.000 Likewise, bro.

03:10:50.000 It's going to be fun.

03:10:50.000 Live from the Mothership on Netflix right now.

03:10:52.000 Right now.

03:10:53.000 And BS Comedian on Instagram.

03:10:56.000 All the socials, BS Comedian.

03:10:57.000 BS with Brian Simpson is my website for tickets.

03:11:00.000 And you're touring?

03:11:01.000 And I'm on tour.

03:11:03.000 I'm coming everywhere.

03:11:04.000 Woo! 0.99

03:11:05.000 Alright, thank you.

03:11:06.000 Bye everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 05, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson

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Summary

Transcript