The Joe Rogan Experience - May 08, 2012


Joe Rogan Experience #214 - Duncan Trussell


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 57 minutes

Words per Minute

191.59692

Word Count

34,034

Sentence Count

3,017

Misogynist Sentences

90


Summary

In this episode of the Joe Welding Experience Podcast, the boys talk about flashlight porn, sex on the space station, and the best way to fuck a girl with a fever. Also, the guys talk about the dangers of taking drugs before sex and how to get a good night's rest before a standup comedy show. Thanks to our sponsor, The Fleshlight, for making this episode possible! And thanks to Onnit for sponsoring the podcast! Joe Weldling Experience Podcast is a production of Native Creative Podcasts and is brought to you by Native Creative, a multi-platform company that specializes in sex, comedy, and original music. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, tyops, and tyops. We'd like to learn a little bit more about you, the listeners. Please take a few minutes to fill out this brief survey. We'll get back to you with our top 3 questions and we'll try to answer them in the next episode. Thank you so much for all the love, support the podcast, support us, and send us your thoughts and support us in the comments! Peace, love, gratitude, and lightheartedness, and love, bye. -Joe and the boys! -Eugene and the crew at Native Creative. XOXO. Joe and the gang. xoxo, EJ & the crew. (and the boys at J.E.A. "The JE Podcast" -Sue and the JEYS Podcast. -Jon and the rest of the JOE Podcast. Jon and the Crew at JEOD Podcast, Jon & The Crew at the J&J Crew -Jon & the J.O.B. ( ) (featuring the Joes podcast. & the rest at J&B Crew. . ( ) ( ) -Jon talks about his new podcast "The Fleshlight and his love life, his new book, and his new sex life, and how he's going to the moon. , and how much he loves it's all about sex, and what it's like to do it, and so much more! , etc., etc., and how it's cool, and more. etc. etc, etc.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 The Joe Welding Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
00:00:12.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
00:00:21.000 Nice.
00:00:22.000 This is a wonky-ass setup.
00:00:24.000 I can never get these fucking cameras to stay straight.
00:00:26.000 Hi.
00:00:27.000 There you go, fella.
00:00:31.000 Uh, flashlight commercial, done.
00:00:34.000 That's it?
00:00:35.000 No.
00:00:35.000 I'll give you a little more.
00:00:36.000 It's a fucking great product.
00:00:37.000 It's an embarrassing product, but it's excellent.
00:00:40.000 It's very effective for what it does.
00:00:42.000 Oh, these things are going to be on the space station soon.
00:00:44.000 I bet $100.
00:00:45.000 They should be on the space station.
00:00:47.000 Why should they make those people just stay up in space and not be able to fuck a little?
00:00:50.000 Not to mention, like, jerking off in space.
00:00:53.000 Yeah, I feel, like, strictly prohibited from having sex up there.
00:00:56.000 Well, yeah, because you're going to have your cum floating through the space station.
00:00:59.000 This is why the flashlight's great up there, because it catches your jizz.
00:01:02.000 That's right.
00:01:02.000 It's perfect for the space station.
00:01:04.000 It's American.
00:01:05.000 It's NASA. It's fucking NASA. It is NASA-type technology.
00:01:10.000 I mean, it's the best-feeling false vagina you can get.
00:01:13.000 I shouldn't even say false.
00:01:16.000 Artificial.
00:01:17.000 Why wouldn't you say false?
00:01:19.000 Why wouldn't I? Because it makes me feel bad.
00:01:23.000 I'm judging it.
00:01:24.000 Artificial is better for you than false.
00:01:25.000 Artificial is better.
00:01:26.000 It's not false.
00:01:27.000 It's a real fake one.
00:01:29.000 It definitely feels like you're fucking a pussy.
00:01:32.000 A really good one, too.
00:01:34.000 And a dead one.
00:01:35.000 Especially if you go out of your way.
00:01:36.000 Well, you can make it warm.
00:01:37.000 Yeah, but you don't...
00:01:38.000 I don't do that.
00:01:39.000 Anytime I'm about to fuck a flashlight, I'm way past heating up the thing.
00:01:44.000 Yeah, how often do you prepare and actually lay out some water?
00:01:48.000 Have some wine with it?
00:01:49.000 Heat a bath.
00:01:50.000 Put the flashlight in a bath so it soaks in the warm, warm water.
00:01:54.000 You'd have to figure out what's realistic.
00:01:57.000 Is 100 degrees realistic?
00:01:58.000 Are you fucking a girl with a fever?
00:02:00.000 Oh, yeah.
00:02:01.000 By the way, a marathon runner, a girl mid-marathon.
00:02:05.000 But I did, I did it once.
00:02:07.000 I did try to heat up the flashlight.
00:02:09.000 I was like, I'm gonna fucking, I put it under the sink and turned it, turned the water on hot and just let the hot water run through it.
00:02:16.000 And then I felt it and it's the same thing.
00:02:17.000 I'm like, fuck this, I'm fucking this thing.
00:02:20.000 Yeah, you have to poach it slightly.
00:02:23.000 Yeah.
00:02:24.000 Like, what temperature?
00:02:25.000 What if you had, like, a crazy fetish for banging a chick that's dying of fever, and the one last thing she wants is you to fuck her.
00:02:34.000 Malaria chick.
00:02:35.000 She's just so hot and sweaty, and she's just shaking, and last gasps of air, and her favorite thing is fucking.
00:02:43.000 So she's like, just fuck me.
00:02:44.000 Yeah, and you would fly to villages in Africa that were, like, afflicted with malaria, and you would go there and pay the villagers money to let them fuck diving.
00:02:55.000 You know, it's fucked up.
00:02:58.000 As fucked up as that thought is, you know someone out there has it.
00:03:03.000 Legitimately.
00:03:04.000 You know, there's seven billion of us now.
00:03:07.000 How many people are there?
00:03:08.000 I don't know.
00:03:09.000 I lost count.
00:03:12.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of AlphaBrain.
00:03:16.000 I didn't take my AlphaBrain before the show.
00:03:18.000 Let's see if I fall apart.
00:03:22.000 I take it before anything important.
00:03:24.000 What is it?
00:03:25.000 It's a neutropic.
00:03:26.000 I take it every day, essentially, but I make sure I take it, like, before I do the UFC, I take three or four of them.
00:03:32.000 Before I do comedy, I take three or four of them.
00:03:34.000 Usually, I only take, like, two in a day, maybe four.
00:03:38.000 What it is, is nootropics are, and by the way, this is just me.
00:03:42.000 I mean, it's not dangerous.
00:03:44.000 None of these levels are dangerous, but you might not like it.
00:03:46.000 You might think it makes you too jittery.
00:03:49.000 Like, I've had, like, I've taken three before in a row, and I'm like, man, this makes me feel like a little edgy.
00:03:55.000 Almost like I'm caffeined out a little bit.
00:03:57.000 But usually, two, two is good.
00:03:59.000 Two is good for stand-up.
00:04:01.000 Two is good for...
00:04:02.000 Anything intense is going to take more than four or five hours.
00:04:05.000 I'll usually take three nowadays.
00:04:07.000 They also seem to combat hangovers.
00:04:09.000 It's great for jet lag, too.
00:04:11.000 Whatever the fuck's going on in your brain when it's not working that well, obviously there's a lack of something.
00:04:17.000 What is that?
00:04:18.000 I don't know.
00:04:18.000 But these nutrients, supposedly, the science behind it is that it helps your body produce human neurotransmitters.
00:04:26.000 It helps you produce all the shit that makes your brain fire.
00:04:30.000 Yeah.
00:04:31.000 It's what's that stuff called?
00:04:32.000 It's called, doesn't it have, it's the shit you take after you take ecstasy the next day.
00:04:38.000 Oh yeah, 5-HTP. That is a nootropic, yeah.
00:04:42.000 That's in the thing we have called new mood.
00:04:44.000 5-HTP and also L-tryptophan because L-tryptophan converts to 5-HTP in the body.
00:04:51.000 And that enhances your body's ability to produce serotonin.
00:04:54.000 Yeah, there's ways you can manipulate the levels of nutrients in your body, and it has an effect, a real effect, on the way your brain works.
00:05:01.000 Right.
00:05:02.000 But don't just listen to me.
00:05:03.000 Please Google Nootropics, and there's a lot of other companies out there that have real good products.
00:05:08.000 I mentioned Bill Romanowski's Neuro One.
00:05:11.000 I like that one a lot.
00:05:12.000 And it's got, like, a little caffeine in it.
00:05:15.000 I've just released my own.
00:05:17.000 Really?
00:05:17.000 Yeah.
00:05:18.000 What's it called?
00:05:18.000 Beta Brain.
00:05:19.000 The mind of a guy who jerks off all day and shirks his responsibilities It makes it so that you can easily shirk your responsibilities without feeling guilty Like before I would play World of Warcraft for like four hours straight and I'd feel terrible Now on Beta Brain I can play World of Warcraft for two days straight Shit myself, piss myself, no shred of guilt It's great stuff guys So you compartmentalize essentially Yeah, you just don't feel the guilt.
00:05:47.000 Right, you just let it go.
00:05:48.000 The guilt just gets blocked.
00:05:49.000 Guilt's gone.
00:05:50.000 Long naps.
00:05:51.000 You could jerk off five times a day without feeling like a loser on Beta Brain.
00:05:54.000 Beta Brain, check it out.
00:05:56.000 We'll be looking into that as well.
00:05:58.000 If you're interested in Alpha Brain, go to jorogan.net, click on the link, enter in the code name ROGAN, and you'll get 10% off any and all orders.
00:06:07.000 We're absolutely not trying to rip anybody off of any of this stuff, and that's the reason why we have a 100% money-back guarantee.
00:06:15.000 On the first order of 30 pills.
00:06:17.000 When you buy it, if you like it, you don't even have to send it back.
00:06:19.000 Just say, this stuff sucks.
00:06:20.000 Give me my money back.
00:06:22.000 We are not trying to rip anybody off.
00:06:24.000 This is all stuff I would be taking, whether or not I had any financial stake in the company.
00:06:30.000 With Beta Brain, I have no financial stake in the company.
00:06:34.000 And with the first 50 pills you order, you get a lavender scented face mask for your naps.
00:06:40.000 It should be with Beta Brain, uh, for the first, you know, first three years of the company, all the money goes to all of your exes anyway.
00:06:48.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:06:49.000 Yeah, it's flowers.
00:06:50.000 Yeah.
00:06:50.000 Yeah.
00:06:51.000 Could you imagine if that was the way the world worked?
00:06:53.000 If you, you entered into contracts, and, you know, as you, as you left, like, you would have to agree to be with this woman, or pay for this woman for ten years.
00:07:03.000 What if it was...
00:07:03.000 And then they'll have sex with you.
00:07:04.000 What if it was just with friendship?
00:07:06.000 What if you had to get married to your friend?
00:07:08.000 After a certain amount of time being friends with people, you had to like, sign a contract that's like, we're gonna be friends forever.
00:07:14.000 Yeah, and you can't just miss them on a weekend once or twice.
00:07:17.000 You gotta be with them constantly.
00:07:19.000 No.
00:07:19.000 And if you fucking break that contract, you gotta give your friend like 10% of your income.
00:07:25.000 I bet people have done...
00:07:27.000 I mean, isn't that what gay marriage is, essentially?
00:07:29.000 It's just friends that fuck each other because they're dudes, right?
00:07:31.000 I mean, that's what marriage is.
00:07:32.000 Right, yeah, exactly.
00:07:33.000 It's friends that fuck each other.
00:07:34.000 Exactly.
00:07:35.000 That's what having a girlfriend is.
00:07:36.000 It's a friend that you fuck.
00:07:38.000 Right.
00:07:38.000 Girl...
00:07:39.000 It's a girlfriend.
00:07:39.000 That's what they call it.
00:07:40.000 It's just a friend that you like to put your dick inside of.
00:07:43.000 That's what it is.
00:07:44.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:07:45.000 But somehow that act of doing that...
00:07:47.000 The moment you put your cock inside somebody...
00:07:50.000 Changes the game.
00:07:51.000 Yeah.
00:07:52.000 Oh, yeah.
00:07:52.000 You get so emotional, Duncan.
00:07:54.000 Yeah.
00:07:55.000 Anyway, enough of that Alpha Brain talk.
00:07:59.000 That commercial is essentially over right now.
00:08:02.000 Well, there's New Mood, True Tech Sport, True Tech Immune, and Alpha Brain, all the different things that we sell it on at onnit.com.
00:08:11.000 Coming up, we've got kettlebells and a bunch of other cool nutritional things.
00:08:15.000 You know, Beta Brain also has a mood-enhancing drug.
00:08:19.000 It's called Blue Mood.
00:08:20.000 It makes it so that you can, like, really listen to Elliot Smith and fucking love it.
00:08:25.000 I wonder if someone could sell pills that made you depressed, people would buy them.
00:08:31.000 People would buy them.
00:08:32.000 I mean, look at what cigarettes are.
00:08:34.000 Cigarettes are something that makes you feel like shit and smell terrible.
00:08:36.000 And yet, it's super popular.
00:08:39.000 It kills people, and then it's super popular.
00:08:41.000 If you had depression pills, and you just had them out there, it would be like a news story.
00:08:45.000 News at 5. Is this new pill crossing the line?
00:08:50.000 It's marketed as depression.
00:08:51.000 And then you go there, and there's a chick with white makeup on and black lipstick, and she goes, life fucking sucks.
00:08:57.000 It's always fucking sucked, okay?
00:08:59.000 And when I take these pills, I see reality.
00:09:01.000 And that's what I want.
00:09:03.000 If you don't like it, fuck you.
00:09:05.000 What is wrong with the children of today?
00:09:07.000 And is this depression drug crossing the line?
00:09:11.000 Happiness is annoying.
00:09:13.000 When you're around happy people, they're fucking irritating.
00:09:16.000 If you're happy, you're a fucking piece of shit.
00:09:18.000 Yeah.
00:09:19.000 What's there to be happy about?
00:09:21.000 You're gonna fucking die in a few years.
00:09:22.000 Depression.
00:09:23.000 Wars raging everywhere.
00:09:24.000 You're really gonna walk around with a smile on your face in this economy?
00:09:28.000 Well, you know, it's really good to do depression with your girl.
00:09:32.000 Because when you get through it and it wears off, it's like you get to really appreciate how good you have it when you're getting along great.
00:09:40.000 Because when you take depression, it's really like going through one of those life-changing experiences on weird African drugs that make you almost die.
00:09:49.000 You know, they have a bunch of those crazy drugs that they give, like jungle drugs, where you almost die.
00:09:55.000 It's not quite a psychedelic experience.
00:09:58.000 It's almost like a near-death experience.
00:10:00.000 They literally almost kill you.
00:10:04.000 Pretty cool.
00:10:04.000 And you're supposed to learn something about yourself through this intense and horrible poisoning.
00:10:10.000 I think they're called ordeal poisons.
00:10:12.000 That's the actual technical term.
00:10:14.000 And they operate very similar to psychedelics in the way that they humble you.
00:10:20.000 Because it really brings you to the brink of death.
00:10:22.000 Right.
00:10:23.000 Your emotions are just blaring.
00:10:26.000 Your fears are blaring.
00:10:28.000 Your insecurities.
00:10:30.000 I think you're forced to examine your life in a very deep and realistic way in any real, true, near-tragic situation, right?
00:10:38.000 Oh, yeah.
00:10:38.000 So I think you take these ordeal poisons and you just go through the ordeal of almost fucking dying and you learn a little bit about yourself.
00:10:46.000 Sure.
00:10:46.000 But goddammit, that's the hard way to do it.
00:10:48.000 That is the hard way to do it, but for a lot of people, that's the only way to do it.
00:10:51.000 Yeah, they don't have enough...
00:10:52.000 They live in a psychedelic-free environment.
00:10:55.000 They can't get it to them, so they don't have the means to get it to them.
00:10:58.000 Yeah, and sometimes even...
00:11:00.000 I mean, people will take psychedelics and still...
00:11:02.000 Be douchebags.
00:11:03.000 Be douchebags.
00:11:04.000 Totally.
00:11:04.000 You know that guy we were talking about before the show?
00:11:07.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:11:08.000 There's a lot of them out there.
00:11:10.000 They're like...
00:11:11.000 It's almost like by taking it, it allows you to be a twat.
00:11:17.000 Because you've had the experience and you're allowed to stick it in someone else's face that hasn't had the experience.
00:11:23.000 They're children or they're a moron.
00:11:26.000 That's crazy.
00:11:29.000 You're not better for having an experience.
00:11:32.000 You're just more experienced.
00:11:35.000 What's better is your overall impact on human beings.
00:11:38.000 And if just you've accumulated some extra information so you feel it's okay to be cunty, well that's not better at all.
00:11:44.000 You just moved your energy into a different direction.
00:11:47.000 You're not better.
00:11:48.000 Right.
00:11:49.000 You're still being a twat.
00:11:50.000 Well, you're still differentiating.
00:11:52.000 Yeah.
00:11:52.000 Exactly.
00:11:53.000 I mean, that's the...
00:11:54.000 In the Bhagavad Gita, it sort of talks about, like, signs of people who've gained real realization.
00:12:00.000 And one of the signs is that they don't differentiate between anything.
00:12:06.000 They see it as all an expansion of the same original force.
00:12:10.000 They don't see it anymore as like, this person's rich, this person's poor, this person's good, this person's bad.
00:12:15.000 It's all just different sides and angles of this superstructure.
00:12:23.000 That's so hard to think that way.
00:12:25.000 It's so hard to separate yourself from, you know, from you and your needs and your ideas of you and what you want and what you want to accomplish or whatever.
00:12:34.000 Whatever you associate with you and the idea that you're a part of a whole.
00:12:39.000 Well, you can intellectually imagine it, but really being in that state, the only time I've ever truly been in that state was when I had taken a huge dose of LSD and was out in the desert, and I remember just having that fading away, merging thing where you're no longer anything.
00:12:57.000 You're everything.
00:12:59.000 You just merge into it all.
00:13:01.000 And I don't know how you would really function in that state.
00:13:04.000 I don't really know what you would be like in the world if that lasted longer than the amount of time an acid trip is, or a few hours.
00:13:14.000 But they do say that through meditation and through strict yogic disciplines, you can hit that place permanently.
00:13:25.000 And somehow that place is nirvana or paradise.
00:13:29.000 It's a beautiful way to be all the time.
00:13:33.000 But I don't know.
00:13:34.000 I've only heard stories about people like that.
00:13:37.000 Descriptions of people like, he was a corpse that the universe spoke through is one great description of.
00:13:45.000 Wow.
00:13:45.000 You know, the ego of the person was dead.
00:13:50.000 They're just gone.
00:13:52.000 But that guy would probably be boring as fuck to hang out with.
00:13:54.000 That's the problem.
00:13:55.000 Right.
00:13:57.000 You know, part of what's cool about being a human being is being around people that have some flavor.
00:14:03.000 Yeah, hell yeah.
00:14:04.000 And you know, you see some of these people and they do seem to have flavor.
00:14:07.000 So, you know, I don't know.
00:14:08.000 The problem with talking about the holy men of the world, the great holy men of the world, is that I've never met one.
00:14:17.000 I've met some wannabe gurus.
00:14:20.000 I've met quite a few wannabe gurus.
00:14:22.000 And some of them, you know, they shock me with their humorlessness.
00:14:27.000 You know what though, dude?
00:14:28.000 I did do a video chat with Ram Dass.
00:14:31.000 Yeah, you said that was amazing.
00:14:32.000 And that guy was fucking awesome.
00:14:33.000 And it lit up my whole apartment.
00:14:34.000 And it was just you and him?
00:14:36.000 Yeah, no, it was me, him, and Natasha.
00:14:38.000 Wow.
00:14:39.000 Yeah.
00:14:39.000 And how did you arrange this?
00:14:41.000 Well, on his website, you can still do it.
00:14:43.000 It's this thing called Heart to Hearts, where you can talk to him on Sunday, and you just go to the website and sign up.
00:14:51.000 I couldn't believe it either.
00:14:52.000 I thought there was no way it was going to work, or I thought they were going to try to ask for money from me or something, but I signed up for it.
00:14:59.000 Sunday, my phone rang.
00:15:01.000 Hello?
00:15:02.000 Duncan, it's Ram Dass.
00:15:03.000 Holy shit.
00:15:04.000 Yeah, and then suddenly I'm like on this video screen with Rondos and he was glowing.
00:15:09.000 He was like, he's an old dude now, but he's, it was like exactly the same energy that my friend's eight-year-old kids have.
00:15:17.000 It was just this radiant, childlike, Authentic energy.
00:15:21.000 It wasn't phony.
00:15:22.000 It wasn't bullshit.
00:15:23.000 Wow.
00:15:24.000 We talked for a little while.
00:15:25.000 He told me this chant that he's been doing lately over and over again where he says, I am loving awareness.
00:15:32.000 I am loving awareness.
00:15:34.000 I am loving awareness.
00:15:35.000 It's a chant to just sort of, I don't know, shift your vibe.
00:15:38.000 And then that was it.
00:15:40.000 Said goodbye.
00:15:41.000 And that was it.
00:15:42.000 They didn't ask for any money.
00:15:43.000 They didn't want anything.
00:15:44.000 It was just a...
00:15:45.000 Wow.
00:15:46.000 You know, yeah.
00:15:46.000 It was just like service.
00:15:48.000 It's...
00:15:48.000 That's fascinating.
00:15:50.000 That's fascinating.
00:15:51.000 Yeah, it's like when you look at him and, you know, people who are psychedelic enthusiasts, you know, you look at someone like him and you go, there's a guy, he made it through.
00:16:01.000 Yes.
00:16:01.000 He made it through.
00:16:02.000 He really grabbed it.
00:16:03.000 Yeah.
00:16:03.000 He really grabbed the whole thing and it made him something different.
00:16:06.000 It made him what he is at the heart of the trip.
00:16:10.000 That's right, man.
00:16:11.000 Well, he...
00:16:12.000 Because what happened is...
00:16:15.000 He went into that state and instead of going into that state and leaving and then that's it.
00:16:21.000 It was a novel experience.
00:16:22.000 He went into that state and said, I want to be in this state permanently.
00:16:26.000 What the fuck is this?
00:16:27.000 Because he had, you know, he's a trained psychologist and he's like, we don't know what this is.
00:16:32.000 We don't have any maps for this.
00:16:33.000 We don't know what the fuck this psychedelic experience is at all.
00:16:37.000 Oh, so he was trying to, when he went to India, he was trying to see if this was a state that you could permanently reside in.
00:16:44.000 He wanted to stay high forever.
00:16:46.000 That's how much he loved tripping.
00:16:48.000 You know, when I come down quite often, I'm like, thank you, God.
00:16:52.000 I'm back to, you know, state zero ground.
00:16:55.000 I'm here.
00:16:56.000 He was like, okay, let's do this forever.
00:17:00.000 They were fucking...
00:17:01.000 Wow.
00:17:01.000 Him and Timothy Leary were, like, drinking from what I... Drinking!
00:17:05.000 Sipping vials of acid, sipping from LSD. You know, they were going so fucking deep into the experience.
00:17:13.000 It's so scary.
00:17:14.000 Fearless, fearless, intrepid explorers.
00:17:17.000 But he realized that you go into that place...
00:17:22.000 You have this contact, or whatever you want to call it, with some kind of either hidden interior realm or some kind of exterior realm that, as humans, our perceptual mechanism...
00:17:34.000 Yeah, and that's a pretty scientific way of looking at it realistically.
00:17:37.000 Hidden interior realm even being just a conscious one.
00:17:41.000 You know, a consciousness realm.
00:17:43.000 The fact that those ideas, why are they not available to me right now?
00:17:48.000 If it's all being generated interiorly, how come those ideas are not available to me right now?
00:17:53.000 Do I need some intense stimulation of different regions in order to give me that information?
00:17:59.000 I don't know how the process works.
00:18:00.000 I'm not exactly sure if other people know either.
00:18:03.000 I have the weirdest fucking feeling that when you take psychedelics, Or when you take even marijuana, that you're...
00:18:11.000 Part of what the experience is, is you experiencing the intelligence of a plant.
00:18:18.000 Part of it is, it boosts up your own senses into this weird, crazy, alien state.
00:18:25.000 And that's why being high feels so, like, disorienting and feels...
00:18:29.000 You're almost like not in your space anymore.
00:18:33.000 Your space is connected...
00:18:35.000 With some other intelligence.
00:18:37.000 And this other intelligence is showing you different avenues of thinking.
00:18:40.000 It's almost like it starts filling pores in your mind and pushing you in a certain direction until it wears off.
00:18:49.000 And then it wears off and it's alien to your system so your body gets rid of it eventually and then it's gone.
00:18:54.000 It only has a certain amount of love time inside of you.
00:18:57.000 Right.
00:18:57.000 But while it's inside of you, it's like, it's changing you.
00:19:00.000 It's making you, like, super fucking sensitive.
00:19:03.000 It's making you super aware and honest, you know?
00:19:06.000 I mean, when a lot of people say, well, it doesn't do that to me, man, it just makes me paranoid.
00:19:09.000 Well, maybe that's just how you deal with stress, you know?
00:19:13.000 Because for sure, you're going to get moments, if you smoke too much pot, where you feel paranoid.
00:19:18.000 There's no getting away with that.
00:19:20.000 Everyone's going to have that experience.
00:19:21.000 But what is that really?
00:19:23.000 I'll tell you what it is, man.
00:19:25.000 It's like you're being aware of all the shit in the world all at once.
00:19:33.000 And all the shit that you're hiding in the back of your head.
00:19:36.000 And all the shit that's your worst nightmare that you're terrified that you're actually manifesting because you think about it all the time.
00:19:42.000 Yeah.
00:19:43.000 And when you smoke pot, all that shit comes to life.
00:19:46.000 And on top of that, you're just disoriented.
00:19:48.000 It's like surfing.
00:19:50.000 It's like surfing can be great.
00:19:52.000 Surfing can be like, I watch those guys when they look like they're having a great fucking time and I go, God damn, surfing looks like fun.
00:19:58.000 But you know when surfing doesn't look like fun?
00:19:59.000 When that wave comes over your fucking head and smashes you into the rocks and pulverizes your bones with a million pounds of pressure and you can't get to the surface.
00:20:09.000 Well, that's surfing too.
00:20:10.000 Yeah, psychedelics will definitely roll your ass if you don't know what you're fucking doing.
00:20:15.000 Especially if you fight it.
00:20:17.000 You try to fight it.
00:20:18.000 The worst.
00:20:19.000 Yeah.
00:20:19.000 There's people that are fighting reality every day.
00:20:23.000 And they often have like a...
00:20:26.000 Sort of a fake map of the world that they've devised in their head, and that's how they navigate.
00:20:32.000 They navigate through this fake map of the world.
00:20:34.000 But a lot of the little segments in their mind that they have associated with certain things and details, a lot of it is...
00:20:42.000 Delusional.
00:20:43.000 Because you're trying to protect yourself from your own failures.
00:20:46.000 Especially with men, I think.
00:20:49.000 Guys have these fucked up egos that are designed to make sure that you have a will to survive when a cheetah attacks or fight off another tribe so that your DNA stays intact.
00:21:02.000 That will is a fucking creepy thing, just running around through your vans.
00:21:07.000 Yeah.
00:21:08.000 What we're talking about here is what they call set and setting, which is like, when you're going to take a psychedelic, what's your mind state?
00:21:15.000 What's your emotional state when you take the psychedelic?
00:21:20.000 To the idea that, what's his name?
00:21:22.000 John Marko Allegro?
00:21:23.000 What's his name?
00:21:24.000 Yeah, John Marko Allegro.
00:21:25.000 Yeah, John Marko Allegro talking about how early Christianity was a mushroom cult.
00:21:30.000 And you go back and you look at the idea of when you're going to take communion or when you go to pray or when you go to the sacred place, you're supposed to forgive your brothers and your sisters because So the idea is, before you go into a psychedelic state, you need to, as much as you can, work out the shit that you're avoiding.
00:21:51.000 Because when you go into that psychedelic state, anything that you're trying to skip around, any of those aspects of your personality that need to be leveled or need to be Balanced are going to spring out at you in a million different ways that are really intense.
00:22:05.000 And if you're not prepared for that, then you'll have the bad trip.
00:22:09.000 And the bad trip is you hallucinate.
00:22:11.000 You can see crazy shit.
00:22:13.000 You'll look in the walls and see skulls.
00:22:15.000 Why are you seeing skulls, you know?
00:22:16.000 Why are you seeing bubbling skulls in the wall?
00:22:19.000 Well, you're seeing bubbling skulls because that's what you're projecting from inside of you because you're fucking scared to death.
00:22:24.000 You're scared to die.
00:22:25.000 You're terrified of letting go.
00:22:27.000 Your body doesn't want to die.
00:22:30.000 And until you deal with that initial thing, then all these other neuroses will spring up after that.
00:22:36.000 Your avoidance of reality, all the different weird ways that you're trying to avoid reality, which is essentially just trying to avoid coming to the terrain that you're on.
00:22:45.000 And the terrain that we're all on is fucking intense.
00:22:48.000 We're on a terrain where we are going to go extinct.
00:22:51.000 And, you know, who knows, depending on how old you are, you know, but depending on how much technology advances, between like 70 and 10 years, two years, one year, that's an intense realm to exist on.
00:23:04.000 You know, there's a situation right now in Fukushima, you know, the whole thing with the fourth reactor, they're terrified that if any seismic event occurred, like there's a zero chance of surviving a seismic event, and that they would have another blown reactor, and we and that they would have another blown reactor, and we were talking about it on the podcast.
00:23:26.000 And someone made a clip of it and put it on this website where it's like, and people were like discussing this, like this is a serious issue.
00:23:32.000 One of the things that I was saying was that we're going to have spots in this world because of nuclear power where for hundreds of thousands of years it's going to be dead.
00:23:40.000 Wastelands.
00:23:41.000 Yeah, dead.
00:23:41.000 And there's a bunch of them.
00:23:43.000 And there's a bunch more plants out there that could make a bunch more spots dead.
00:23:47.000 And this has just been less than 100 years we've been doing this.
00:23:50.000 We've already got three giant spots where you can't go to anymore.
00:23:53.000 Yeah, and have you seen the places where they store the nuclear rods?
00:23:58.000 They have special places like caves and stuff that they put it in.
00:24:01.000 And I believe that on the signs around the place...
00:24:04.000 They actually have like skulls and shit.
00:24:07.000 They have things.
00:24:08.000 So in case society collapses and everyone forgets and thousands of years pass, you go wandering up to that place and there's this fucking skull.
00:24:16.000 And you just recognize, okay, this is a cursed place.
00:24:21.000 Nuclear power is one of the dumbest, most brilliant ideas ever.
00:24:25.000 It's so dumb and so brilliant at the same time.
00:24:28.000 Humans have a lot of hubris, you know?
00:24:31.000 Yeah.
00:24:31.000 This is a ridiculous one, though.
00:24:33.000 I mean, we're fucking with something that there is no technology to clean it.
00:24:38.000 There's no technology to turn it into anything other than toxic, lethal, horrible, killing shit.
00:24:46.000 Yeah, it sucks, man.
00:24:47.000 It's like the...
00:24:48.000 It's ridiculous.
00:24:49.000 The exuberance of...
00:24:52.000 When that stuff initially came out and people thought that they discovered endless fuel sources, that exuberance was everywhere.
00:25:01.000 It really seemed like the most beautiful...
00:25:04.000 It seemed like we were entering into utopia, I think, for a while.
00:25:07.000 But it's so, it's, you know, the joke I was doing in my act about it was that, did anybody ask them, like, what happens when the power goes off?
00:25:16.000 Somebody was like, dude, you're being negative.
00:25:18.000 Right.
00:25:18.000 Like, there had to be, like, some sort of a stupid argument, where no one considered the possibility that the power could go off.
00:25:24.000 You could lose both backup generators.
00:25:26.000 You have no other way of fixing this.
00:25:28.000 You just built a sun.
00:25:30.000 You built a little tiny sun, and you're just gonna leave it there.
00:25:33.000 Like, that's insane.
00:25:36.000 Well, yeah, I mean...
00:25:37.000 And you can't cool it off.
00:25:38.000 You can't cool it off.
00:25:39.000 It's a demon.
00:25:39.000 Basically, you've summoned a demon that you can't send back.
00:25:42.000 Yeah, that is a demon.
00:25:43.000 It is.
00:25:44.000 It really truly is.
00:25:45.000 Like, you have summoned a demon when you have nuclear power.
00:25:47.000 If you really stop and think about that, if a demon existed, and in his very presence, he was poisoned in the environment, no plants could grow, I mean, that is a demon by definition.
00:25:57.000 Anyone that gets near him dies a horrible, twisted death, that's a demon.
00:26:03.000 Yeah, this is something people don't understand with like cult talk where people talk about demons, like summoning demons and summoning spirits.
00:26:11.000 They take that shit literally.
00:26:12.000 So they hear someone saying, you know, I'll invoke these things to summon a demon.
00:26:16.000 And so then a lot of great movies have been made after the literal interpretation of that.
00:26:21.000 But every fucking day, man, not just on the grand scale with us summoning nuclear power, But in little ways, people fucking summon demons into their life all the time with no thought of how to get rid of it.
00:26:32.000 You know when people shoot heroin?
00:26:35.000 That's summoning a fucking demon.
00:26:37.000 You've been told by every single other necromancer who summoned that demon, that shit will fuck you up.
00:26:44.000 But people who do heroin, they always start off with, you know what, I'm just going to do it once.
00:26:49.000 I just want to see what it feels like.
00:26:51.000 Everyone does that.
00:26:52.000 And then you fucking end up under a fucking bridge with three cocks in your mouth.
00:26:57.000 You know what I mean?
00:26:59.000 All from summoning this one stupid fucking demon that has just destroyed so many people.
00:27:05.000 And heroin.
00:27:06.000 Demon's a great word for heroin.
00:27:08.000 Because it offers you something.
00:27:09.000 Because so many people, they say, oh yeah, fucking, uh, Jimi Hendrix, love this stuff.
00:27:14.000 Or, uh, Elliot Smith, listen to how beautiful his music is.
00:27:18.000 You can go on and on about the people who shot heroin and, like, made beautiful stuff.
00:27:23.000 So there is an exchange.
00:27:24.000 I mean, doesn't that kind of tickle around in your head?
00:27:26.000 Lenny Bruce was blasting the shit.
00:27:29.000 You know?
00:27:30.000 Doesn't it kind of tickle around?
00:27:31.000 You're like, what the f- what?
00:27:32.000 What is that?
00:27:33.000 Maybe there is a little land, like you rise up and see this landscape that you can't see from the psychedelic perspective.
00:27:40.000 Maybe.
00:27:41.000 It doesn't seem to be worth it, whatever it is.
00:27:44.000 All I look at is what makes you happy.
00:27:47.000 I don't see people taking heroin and getting super happy from it.
00:27:51.000 Everyone that I've ever known that did heroin, the come down from it was unbelievably bad.
00:27:56.000 Like bone jarring.
00:27:58.000 They would say your bones would ache.
00:27:59.000 That's how they would describe it.
00:28:01.000 Terrible drug.
00:28:02.000 You never see any marathon runners who are shooting I had a friend who was a good buddy of mine that lived in New York and came to visit me.
00:28:11.000 And I didn't know when he was coming to visit me that he was trying to kick heroin.
00:28:15.000 And what he was going to do was just come and hang out with me at my house in California and kick heroin with me.
00:28:20.000 So I did not know.
00:28:22.000 I didn't know how bad he had it.
00:28:24.000 I hadn't seen him in a couple of years.
00:28:26.000 So he flew out and the dude was just in bed sick for like six, seven days.
00:28:33.000 He couldn't go anywhere, man.
00:28:35.000 I would get him food and shit and he couldn't go anywhere.
00:28:38.000 He came with me to work one day.
00:28:40.000 I was on news radio.
00:28:42.000 He came and just sat around the set.
00:28:44.000 But he couldn't move around, man.
00:28:48.000 The dude was jacked.
00:28:51.000 It's amazing to see that, isn't it?
00:28:53.000 It's amazing to see the traps that we set for ourselves in the world that are completely avoidable, but for some reason we always set these traps and then they smash on us and we go through this awful period and then if you're lucky you get out on the other side.
00:29:08.000 That kind of goes back to what you were talking about, this idea of like having that near-death experience or having this awful catastrophe happen in your life.
00:29:16.000 If you handle it the right way, You can become a million times stronger and better from that catastrophe.
00:29:22.000 People don't realize that, so they're always putting off what could essentially be the thing that makes them happier than they've ever been in their life.
00:29:29.000 Well, that's kind of a weird way of looking at it.
00:29:33.000 You could possibly be happy because of a catastrophe, or it could be horrible.
00:29:38.000 You could lose someone you love.
00:29:39.000 I don't think all catastrophes will necessarily lead to great revelations, but I think occasionally it can give you an enhanced perspective.
00:29:50.000 Something that happens to you.
00:29:52.000 The most interesting people that we all know are people that have gone through a lot of shit in their life.
00:29:57.000 A lot of crazy experiences.
00:30:00.000 The having to overcome terrible things and places is sort of what makes them exceptional.
00:30:07.000 That's right, man.
00:30:08.000 But there's a certain group of people who like to live pretending that catastrophes will never happen to them.
00:30:17.000 Right.
00:30:17.000 This is a ridiculous way to live.
00:30:19.000 Yeah, the people that are overweight smoking every day.
00:30:21.000 Yes.
00:30:22.000 I have a friend who, I guess he's like 60, and he smokes two packs a day, and he'll tell you, he's always making excuses, like, They've even said now that it's all either you have the gene or you do not.
00:30:37.000 So there's a lot of people that will smoke cigarettes and never.
00:30:39.000 I've been smoking cigarettes for 40 years.
00:30:42.000 Obviously, I don't have the gene or I don't have cancer.
00:30:45.000 I went to the doctor.
00:30:46.000 My doctor says, you look great.
00:30:47.000 You look great.
00:30:48.000 The doctor's looking at you and he's like, you smoke how much a day?
00:30:51.000 And you're like, two packs.
00:30:52.000 And he's like, you look great.
00:30:53.000 You look great.
00:30:54.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:30:55.000 What is he going to do to someone who's fucking intentionally poisoning themselves all day?
00:30:59.000 You're intentionally poisoning yourself all day.
00:31:02.000 Not even one pack, you glutton.
00:31:05.000 You glutton nicotine vampire.
00:31:07.000 Two packs a day, all day.
00:31:09.000 Of course your doctor's going to tell you you look great.
00:31:11.000 You look great.
00:31:11.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:31:12.000 I'm going to see you soon, though, bitch.
00:31:14.000 You're going to be back soon.
00:31:15.000 You're going to be back for some crazy shit.
00:31:17.000 I'm calling my uncle up right now.
00:31:18.000 My uncle's an oncologist, and we've got our eye on you.
00:31:21.000 That's amazing.
00:31:22.000 Yeah, that's incredible.
00:31:23.000 I never thought of what a moneymaker smokers are for doctors.
00:31:27.000 Well, of course.
00:31:28.000 I mean, if you're a doctor, you want your people, well, if you're a real doctor, and it's obviously people that don't operate for money, you know, they operate because they love being an excellent surgeon or an excellent doctor, and, you know, we're not disparaging the medical profession at all.
00:31:43.000 Of course not.
00:31:44.000 But, if you were like some money-grubbing crazy doctor, but there are a few of those out there, right?
00:31:50.000 Yeah, I've heard of them.
00:31:51.000 Yeah, there's, if we're down then, there is some money-grubbing, like Michael Jackson's doctor.
00:31:56.000 Dude, what?
00:31:56.000 That fucking crazy guy.
00:31:57.000 I have I'll show you man.
00:31:59.000 I've got fucking fillings in my mouth That don't need to be there because my dentist as it turns out was giving unnecessary So I've got like I got fucking what a monster and I When I was a kid, I just thought I naturally was always getting cavities.
00:32:17.000 Oh my God.
00:32:18.000 You know what I mean?
00:32:19.000 What a monster.
00:32:20.000 I was getting blasted with fucking leather.
00:32:22.000 This guy's ruining kids' teeth, drilling into kids' teeth and making money.
00:32:26.000 I hope he's in jail.
00:32:27.000 Is he in jail?
00:32:30.000 That's not just fraud.
00:32:31.000 I would beat the fuck out if you drill holes in my kid's head that didn't need to be there because you're trying to make money.
00:32:37.000 Like that fucking judge.
00:32:38.000 Oh my god, I would want to beat the fuck out of that dentist.
00:32:41.000 Wouldn't it be great to mash his fucking head?
00:32:43.000 Could you imagine anybody that would do that to a little kid?
00:32:46.000 Yeah.
00:32:46.000 Just to make some money?
00:32:47.000 Sure.
00:32:48.000 That's a big...
00:32:49.000 This is something that...
00:32:50.000 This is a facet of reality.
00:32:52.000 That's so scary.
00:32:53.000 That I can't imagine.
00:32:54.000 Like, what mind state do you have to be in?
00:32:57.000 Especially your fucking dentist.
00:32:58.000 You're already making great money.
00:33:00.000 Like, why do you need the extra cavity, though?
00:33:02.000 Exactly.
00:33:03.000 I mean, how...
00:33:04.000 Jesus Christ.
00:33:06.000 How can you justify that?
00:33:08.000 That would make...
00:33:08.000 I would never sleep.
00:33:09.000 I would have to find that guy in prison.
00:33:12.000 I might get arrested just so I can go to prison with him.
00:33:15.000 Or find out what prison he's at.
00:33:16.000 He's fucking...
00:33:19.000 I mean, if it was my kid, you know what I'm saying?
00:33:21.000 I mean, I would literally, I would want to get arrested and put a cell near him just so I could beat the fuck out of him after he got arrested.
00:33:29.000 Yeah, well, there's a lot of...
00:33:31.000 I just wouldn't be able to deal with it.
00:33:33.000 Some guy drilling into your baby's head to try to make himself some extra scratch because he likes to be a big shot at a restaurant and buy a nice bottle of wine.
00:33:41.000 Is that what's going on?
00:33:42.000 Sure.
00:33:43.000 Fucking asshole.
00:33:44.000 Yeah, I mean, who knows?
00:33:46.000 But think of it.
00:33:47.000 The thing to me is like, there's a lot of people out there who live like that.
00:33:51.000 Sure.
00:33:52.000 There's a lot of people out there that are sociopaths.
00:33:54.000 I mean, you've seen the studies.
00:33:56.000 There's been, you know, I believe it was Time Magazine or someone recently had some article about a new book that's out.
00:34:03.000 It was something like one in a hundred.
00:34:05.000 One in a hundred people are just fucking sociopaths.
00:34:08.000 Remember the guy who recently went rampaging through that kid's camp?
00:34:11.000 Was it in...
00:34:12.000 Where was it?
00:34:13.000 Norway?
00:34:14.000 Was it Norway?
00:34:15.000 Yeah.
00:34:16.000 Norway.
00:34:16.000 He went rampaging through that camp just killing fucking kids.
00:34:20.000 And over there, they don't...
00:34:22.000 They're not like the United States.
00:34:23.000 They don't have a death penalty.
00:34:24.000 So like, they're giving this guy a fair trial and they made a big show of the fact that we're going to do this.
00:34:30.000 There's not going to be some kind of...
00:34:32.000 A crazy, visceral response to this.
00:34:34.000 And so in the trial, the guy apparently is going into a detailed account of how he went walking through this camp and shot kids who were hiding from him and shot kids and how they tried to run and how he found some of them by thinking where he would hide if he was one of these kids.
00:34:51.000 And he's enjoying it.
00:34:52.000 He's getting off on it because he's a sociopath.
00:34:54.000 It feels good for him to tell the story.
00:34:57.000 So in these situations, sometimes I think, Has pacifism gone too far in this situation?
00:35:05.000 The guy clearly shot a bunch of kids.
00:35:08.000 Why do we need to discover his true motivation or what his real crime was?
00:35:14.000 We know what the crime was.
00:35:15.000 There's a bunch of dead kids because this guy went rampaging through.
00:35:20.000 Sometimes, don't you think you can go too far on the side of 100%.
00:35:24.000 Yeah, why?
00:35:25.000 Yeah, well look at the Dalai Rama, man.
00:35:27.000 Dalai Rama seems like a great guy, but he's never gotten a blowjob in his life.
00:35:30.000 That's a stupid way to live.
00:35:31.000 We don't know that.
00:35:32.000 He says he doesn't have sex.
00:35:34.000 Oh, he does?
00:35:34.000 Yeah.
00:35:35.000 He says he doesn't have relations.
00:35:36.000 He says he sees a woman, he's attracted to her, but he realizes it's too much work.
00:35:40.000 It's just, you know, he laughs about it.
00:35:42.000 But that's silly.
00:35:43.000 That's silly.
00:35:44.000 You're missing out on a big chunk of life.
00:35:45.000 I think he's humped.
00:35:47.000 I think he's got some pussy.
00:35:48.000 Yeah.
00:35:49.000 Well, I would hope so.
00:35:50.000 I wouldn't hate him for it.
00:35:51.000 I think it would be a good thing.
00:35:52.000 I would love him for it.
00:35:53.000 But he's a monk.
00:35:55.000 Isn't it?
00:35:56.000 Yeah, but I mean...
00:35:57.000 Isn't that like part of the whole thing, is the celibacy, the idea that, you know, you're beyond the needs of the flesh?
00:36:01.000 Yeah, there's like the...
00:36:02.000 I mean, I don't...
00:36:03.000 Honestly, I've heard with Tibetan Buddhism that there's some tantric sex that happens in there, and...
00:36:09.000 We should probably Google this, right?
00:36:11.000 Yeah, please do, because that's...
00:36:12.000 Yeah, is the Dalai Lama...
00:36:15.000 Is the Dalai Lama celibate?
00:36:17.000 Celibate.
00:36:18.000 I'd love to know that.
00:36:19.000 Yeah, it seems like an interesting question.
00:36:23.000 This keyword sucks a fat dick.
00:36:26.000 I mean, I guess that I understand why monks say to be celibate.
00:36:31.000 If it's not an ethical decision, I understand, like...
00:36:35.000 The complication that can come from fucking people is ridiculous.
00:36:39.000 Spectacular.
00:36:40.000 Spectacular.
00:36:41.000 It's conflagrations.
00:36:43.000 Like, lifelong conflagrations.
00:36:45.000 You can bring a being into life.
00:36:47.000 Yeah, you can.
00:36:48.000 It's a pain in the ass.
00:36:51.000 Yeah, it's a pain in the fucking ass, man.
00:36:53.000 He's not only supposed to be a virgin, yeah.
00:36:55.000 He's a virgin.
00:36:57.000 Well, there you go, ladies.
00:36:59.000 The Dalai Lama's origin.
00:37:00.000 Dude, have you heard about that glue in India that you blast into your balls to clog up your seminal...
00:37:08.000 Yeah, you sent it to me.
00:37:09.000 Yeah.
00:37:10.000 Is that what it is?
00:37:11.000 It's load glue?
00:37:12.000 Load glue.
00:37:13.000 It's the new male birth control that apparently is not as permanent as getting...
00:37:20.000 A vasectomy?
00:37:21.000 It lasts between five and ten years, but they essentially just put airplane glue or some kind of gel into your...
00:37:28.000 They just glue you up!
00:37:29.000 So you can't...
00:37:30.000 Your jizz doesn't have the fucking worms in it anymore.
00:37:33.000 That's sad.
00:37:36.000 You're poisoning your loads.
00:37:38.000 How could that possibly be good?
00:37:41.000 You're going to make zombie babies.
00:37:45.000 Your loads probably smell like rubber cement.
00:37:46.000 Could you imagine if that was like the beginning of the next fucking 28 Days Later type movie?
00:37:51.000 It turns out that you shoot some shit into your loads, but it makes zombie babies that eat their way out of your pussy.
00:37:57.000 Yeah, that's fucking great.
00:38:00.000 That's a great horror movie, man.
00:38:01.000 Bites the doctor and the doctor becomes a zombie.
00:38:03.000 Zombie doctor fucking furiously attacks all the nurses.
00:38:07.000 They all stab each other.
00:38:09.000 They come into a fucking puddle, slippery of blood.
00:38:11.000 A bunch of zombie fucking doctors biting each other and shit.
00:38:15.000 All from one fucking zombie, baby.
00:38:17.000 All from one zombie baby, from one zombie load that was created by this crazy drug.
00:38:21.000 An Indian doctor created it.
00:38:23.000 Just a tornado of infection spreads through the nation from this one hot point.
00:38:28.000 They call in Dustin Hoffman in their fucking space suit.
00:38:33.000 But you know what?
00:38:34.000 He knows that he just had that procedure done to his balls.
00:38:37.000 And he shot a load into his girlfriend and she's pregnant.
00:38:40.000 So the suspense of the movie is wondering if his girlfriend...
00:38:44.000 He's got a zombie baby in her.
00:38:46.000 This is a great movie.
00:38:47.000 It's a great movie.
00:38:48.000 Directors out there, let's get this made.
00:38:50.000 Whoever made Troll Hunter, please contact us.
00:38:54.000 Troll Hunter.
00:38:55.000 Troll Hunter's great.
00:38:56.000 I know.
00:38:57.000 It's really fun, man.
00:38:59.000 I know, I love that movie, man.
00:39:00.000 It's a fun movie.
00:39:01.000 The foreign one, right?
00:39:02.000 The one in subtitles?
00:39:04.000 Oh, wait, no, I thought you were talking about the worst movie ever made.
00:39:06.000 No, this is actually not that bad.
00:39:08.000 It's about a guy who goes and hunts trolls.
00:39:11.000 There's, like, real live trolls.
00:39:13.000 It's a...
00:39:14.000 Oh, Troll Hunter's fucking awesome!
00:39:15.000 Yeah, Troll Hunter, yeah.
00:39:17.000 It's really good.
00:39:18.000 It's really fun.
00:39:19.000 And it's shot, like, found footage.
00:39:20.000 Yes, exactly.
00:39:21.000 Yeah.
00:39:22.000 Oh, Troll Hunter's the best, man.
00:39:23.000 That was really good.
00:39:24.000 It's a fun movie.
00:39:25.000 More movies like that, please.
00:39:26.000 That was fucking awesome.
00:39:27.000 I love stupid movies, man.
00:39:28.000 Like, I'm so looking forward to The Avengers.
00:39:31.000 So much so that I feel like I'm getting away with something by being able to watch it.
00:39:34.000 You know, like, I'm...
00:39:35.000 44 years old.
00:39:37.000 At a certain point in time, I'm supposed to be past that.
00:39:39.000 I'm supposed to be interested in mature things.
00:39:42.000 But I'm not.
00:39:43.000 I want to watch the Hulk fuck somebody up.
00:39:44.000 Let me tell you something, man.
00:39:46.000 That fucking idea of maturity, or how you're supposed to act at some certain age, what the fuck is that idea?
00:39:53.000 Because the way you're supposed to act is so boring.
00:39:56.000 Just act like you're just a dying old piece of shit.
00:40:01.000 You don't like fucking super insane special effects anymore.
00:40:05.000 You certainly don't like video games.
00:40:08.000 My kids are doing music these days.
00:40:09.000 You go to bed at 10. You know, like, fuck that.
00:40:13.000 Whose idea was that anyway?
00:40:14.000 That was just like a control freak boring guy.
00:40:17.000 It's like, this is how an adult acts.
00:40:18.000 Yeah, well, it gets to a certain point in time where you compromise your thinking every day, so much so for work.
00:40:24.000 You know, if you have to go in and every day you've got to sell vacuum cleaners, and you're a dude, I guarantee you there's some days where you don't want to go in and sell fucking vacuum cleaners.
00:40:32.000 You don't want to not swear all day.
00:40:34.000 You don't want to wear a tie.
00:40:35.000 But you've got to.
00:40:36.000 That's part of the job.
00:40:37.000 And so one of the ways to sort of keep that going, where you're extreme, is to make the whole rest of your life less extreme as well.
00:40:46.000 No more fun shit.
00:40:48.000 You need a sensible car.
00:40:49.000 You can't drive a Mustang.
00:40:51.000 You need to stop getting drunk on the weekends.
00:40:54.000 You've got a job.
00:40:55.000 You've got to become SFW. Safe for work.
00:40:58.000 Safe for work.
00:40:59.000 Yeah, and that's why they're allowed to drug test you.
00:41:01.000 That's one of the most incredible things that we've let happen in this country.
00:41:05.000 Employers are allowed to drug test Their employees.
00:41:11.000 That's insane.
00:41:12.000 The idea that someone, you pay for a person's work.
00:41:16.000 You don't own their flesh.
00:41:18.000 You don't own them as a human being.
00:41:20.000 Especially when we're talking about stuff like medical marijuana, which is actually supposed to be legal in California.
00:41:25.000 There's a lot of places where you still can't get a medical marijuana prescription.
00:41:28.000 You can't get an exemption and work for a lot of different companies.
00:41:32.000 They won't have it.
00:41:34.000 They won't hire you.
00:41:34.000 They don't want any potheads.
00:41:36.000 Yeah, it's a real problem because With corporations, I just learned this word and I really fucking love it.
00:41:42.000 It's called diffusion of responsibility, which is the idea that in corporations the responsibility gets so many people make decisions on things that no one person's to blame, right?
00:41:53.000 So you know in the corporation, somewhere in the corporation, not everyone's anti-marijuana, just a couple of cunts.
00:42:00.000 And you don't know who they are, but they got that in there.
00:42:03.000 They're all you know at some meeting they just got it in where other people didn't agree with them and they didn't speak up That's what's annoying about it.
00:42:10.000 You know that this is coming from just a few dipshits The majority of people have no problem with it fucking Nancy Pelosi.
00:42:17.000 Did you see she came out against Obama?
00:42:19.000 Did you see that shit?
00:42:20.000 What'd she do?
00:42:21.000 She fucking what she pointed out the fact that Obama's busted more dispensaries than Bush did and Wow.
00:42:26.000 Because she's pro-medical marijuana, and she talked about all the help, how many people it actually helps, and like, what the fuck is Obama doing?
00:42:34.000 Why is he arresting all these people when we voted on it, you know?
00:42:39.000 Diffusion of responsibility is another place that's used.
00:42:42.000 Yeah.
00:42:43.000 That's in rape.
00:42:44.000 Oh yeah, right.
00:42:45.000 Where one person is much more likely to be able to rape another person when there's a big group of people around.
00:42:53.000 Because nobody knows who should act first and everybody feels like it's not their responsibility because there's so many people.
00:43:00.000 You always gotta act first.
00:43:01.000 That's the rule.
00:43:01.000 Always act first.
00:43:02.000 If you see someone on the fucking street who doesn't look like they're doing okay, stop and ask them if they're okay.
00:43:08.000 If you see somebody's car is fucked up on the side of the road, not a flat.
00:43:12.000 What if it's the first zombie?
00:43:14.000 What if you go, are you okay?
00:43:16.000 And that fucking bitch leans over and bites your arm in half.
00:43:19.000 Yes.
00:43:20.000 And blood's screaming.
00:43:20.000 You're screaming as you're driving to a hospital.
00:43:22.000 You turn into a zombie and crash into a tree.
00:43:24.000 Look man, there's like a 90% chance if you see someone on the street and try to help them that they're probably the first zombie.
00:43:29.000 It could happen.
00:43:30.000 But...
00:43:33.000 It could be the other 10%.
00:43:34.000 Hey man, look, I'm not taking any chances.
00:43:36.000 When the zombie apocalypse hits, you don't want to be fucking patient zero.
00:43:39.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:43:40.000 Or one.
00:43:41.000 What if you see a rape happening and you try to stop it and it was just a dude trying to rape a zombie?
00:43:46.000 Or a zombie trying to rape a dude.
00:43:48.000 That would be a lot scarier.
00:43:49.000 Because if like...
00:43:50.000 Raping zombies?
00:43:52.000 That's the next step!
00:43:53.000 If a dude was raping a zombie, you'd go, he's an idiot.
00:43:55.000 Why would you want to rape a zombie?
00:43:56.000 That's the next evolution of zombies.
00:43:58.000 Because we made them run.
00:43:59.000 Now they're raped.
00:44:00.000 Now they rape us.
00:44:02.000 Yeah, being an ultimate fighting champion, that's not badass enough.
00:44:05.000 You need to be a zombie raper.
00:44:07.000 Yeah.
00:44:07.000 Have you ever raped a zombie?
00:44:08.000 And the thing about raping a zombie is they'll fight hard, but no one cares if you beat the shit out of them.
00:44:13.000 You could, like, let zombies loose in the field, and you could just go beat the shit out of them.
00:44:17.000 No, dude, this is a sketch.
00:44:18.000 I actually wrote a sketch like this.
00:44:20.000 The problem is zombies can infect you, right?
00:44:22.000 Yes.
00:44:23.000 How does that work?
00:44:23.000 That doesn't make any sense.
00:44:25.000 Only 28 days later, zombies can infect you.
00:44:27.000 Well, no, the...
00:44:28.000 Biological warfare zombies.
00:44:30.000 There's different explanations, and...
00:44:32.000 The Walking Dead's got a really fucking good one that I... I could spoil a lot of shit to say it, but there's a lot of different explanations for it that's pretty cool, the way that the creators of these stories come up with, like, what it is.
00:44:45.000 Right.
00:44:45.000 I mean, there's no rule for it.
00:44:46.000 It could be anything.
00:44:47.000 But is, uh, does...
00:44:49.000 In The Walking Dead, it's a biological thing where it infects people.
00:44:52.000 But there's movies where they come out of the ground.
00:44:55.000 So obviously that's not what's up with those.
00:44:57.000 No, that's a whole thing.
00:44:57.000 Those are different ones.
00:44:58.000 That's like...
00:44:59.000 I mean, which ones do they come out of the ground?
00:45:00.000 That's Return of the Living Dead.
00:45:02.000 Yeah, that kind of shit.
00:45:03.000 One of my favorite fucking...
00:45:04.000 Fucking genius goddamn movie.
00:45:06.000 Genius fucking...
00:45:07.000 You know why it was great?
00:45:09.000 Because the zombies could fucking talk.
00:45:11.000 Yeah.
00:45:11.000 So remember they had that lady strapped to the table?
00:45:14.000 Spoiler alert.
00:45:15.000 They had that lady strapped to the table who was like a half-lady relationship.
00:45:18.000 Remember that?
00:45:18.000 And they're like, they asked her, because no one's asked the zombie.
00:45:22.000 They asked her, why do you eat brains?
00:45:24.000 Remember that?
00:45:25.000 Brains!
00:45:30.000 Oh my God.
00:45:31.000 It's great, dude.
00:45:32.000 Because we never get to really interview a zombie.
00:45:35.000 I remember that now.
00:45:37.000 Yeah.
00:45:37.000 That's right.
00:45:38.000 They would call out brains.
00:45:40.000 Brains.
00:45:40.000 Brains.
00:45:41.000 Oh, that was such a good thing.
00:45:42.000 Dude, that was a great...
00:45:43.000 I mean, I was confusing that with Night of the Living Dead.
00:45:47.000 But Return of the Living Dead is actually better.
00:45:49.000 Return of the Living Dead, they pop out of graves.
00:45:51.000 Night of the Living Dead, as I recall, the opening of Night of the Living Dead, remember it's in the graveyard and he's trying to scare his girlfriend and she's like, who's that man walking back there?
00:46:03.000 And there's some dude kind of walking far away.
00:46:05.000 This is when zombies couldn't walk fast.
00:46:07.000 And so he just kind of ambles up to the guy and like, It throws him down, the guy hits his head on a gravestone, and then she's like driving away in terror, but we never know if that zombie emerged from a coffin.
00:46:19.000 I think that was somebody who was like, I don't think, I don't think, yeah, first of all, you're not going to get out of a fucking coffin if you're a zombie.
00:46:27.000 Zombies are already weak.
00:46:28.000 Are they weak?
00:46:29.000 Well, they all vary.
00:46:32.000 Night of the Living Dead zombies, weak, slow, lumbering, purely retarded.
00:46:38.000 So if you were a really good kickboxer, you could probably keep a lot of them off of you.
00:46:44.000 Easily.
00:46:44.000 You break their body.
00:46:46.000 A lot of leg kicks.
00:46:47.000 A simple moat.
00:46:48.000 A simple moat would fix most of the...
00:46:49.000 But if they bite you, you're fucked, right?
00:46:51.000 You're fucked.
00:46:51.000 You're a zombie now.
00:46:52.000 If you get bitten by a zombie, you're a zombie.
00:46:54.000 Is that Night of the Living Dead as well?
00:46:56.000 That's Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead.
00:46:59.000 I think all of them share the idea that if you get bitten by one, you turn into one.
00:47:03.000 Huh.
00:47:04.000 I thought you had to die in some of them.
00:47:07.000 Oh.
00:47:08.000 And then you come back as a zombie.
00:47:09.000 Well, I think in all of them.
00:47:11.000 In all of them.
00:47:11.000 Not in 28 Days Later, remember?
00:47:13.000 You just get one bite and you're fucked.
00:47:15.000 Remember when that chick hatcheted her boyfriend?
00:47:17.000 Yes.
00:47:18.000 She macheted him and he's like, it's just a scratch.
00:47:20.000 And she just fucked you and just whoosh, whoosh, whoosh with a fucking machete.
00:47:24.000 She macheted him in the kitchen.
00:47:26.000 That was radical.
00:47:27.000 Remember that?
00:47:29.000 That was a great fucking movie.
00:47:31.000 That's the greatest zombie movie of all time.
00:47:33.000 28 Days Later, in my opinion, is the greatest because it's the most original.
00:47:37.000 The whole scene when the guy wakes up and he doesn't know what the fuck is going on, that's really the same scene that The Walking Dead has used.
00:47:44.000 They've used the same sort of theme.
00:47:45.000 This guy wakes up in the hospital and he doesn't realize that the world has turned into a fucking zombie shithole.
00:47:51.000 How do you get to do that?
00:47:54.000 Um...
00:47:54.000 That's sort of the same scene as 28 Days Later.
00:47:57.000 You know what we'd have to look into is which came first.
00:48:01.000 28 Days Later are the Walking Dead comics.
00:48:03.000 Because that comes from the Walking Dead comics.
00:48:05.000 So whichever came first...
00:48:07.000 Well, let's find out.
00:48:08.000 Walking Dead comics.
00:48:10.000 The best Walking Dead comics.
00:48:12.000 Buy them if you haven't.
00:48:12.000 They're so fucking good.
00:48:13.000 How many years do you think they've been around for?
00:48:15.000 I don't know, but I, like, for a long time, there's a lot of them.
00:48:18.000 And it's a, it's, the show is good.
00:48:20.000 I love the show.
00:48:21.000 The show gets a little too soap opera-like, but the fucking comics are just brutal, and just, if you, if you haven't downloaded them to your iPad, buy them, because they're fucking awesome.
00:48:32.000 Mmm, let's see, Wikipedia.
00:48:35.000 This is cool that we can figure this out instantly.
00:48:37.000 Yeah, we live in a fucking beautiful time, man.
00:48:40.000 Some guy said something really recently.
00:48:44.000 I'll go look at it after I figure this out.
00:48:46.000 2003. Is what?
00:48:48.000 Is first issue of the Walking Dead comics.
00:48:52.000 So now, let's look up Return of the Living Dead.
00:48:56.000 No.
00:48:57.000 No?
00:48:58.000 28 Days Later.
00:48:59.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:48:59.000 Sorry.
00:49:00.000 28. I think that was earlier.
00:49:05.000 I'm pretty sure, but I'm just guessing.
00:49:07.000 Let's see...
00:49:09.000 2002. Ooh.
00:49:12.000 It's earlier.
00:49:13.000 Son of a bitch!
00:49:15.000 Yeah.
00:49:16.000 Well, that's so close that it might have been parallel thinking.
00:49:22.000 Yeah.
00:49:22.000 You know, who knows?
00:49:23.000 These guys...
00:49:24.000 First of all, it's kind of like, if you were going to make a zombie movie about a big apocalypse, wouldn't a cool way to do it be wake up and...
00:49:30.000 Yes.
00:49:30.000 I mean, everybody's afraid you wake up and you're going to get up in the morning and nuclear bombs had already dropped.
00:49:34.000 You know what else it serves?
00:49:36.000 What purpose it serves?
00:49:37.000 Is you don't have to explain how it happened.
00:49:39.000 Yeah.
00:49:40.000 Because you start at the beginning of the guy waking up, so you don't really have to go into the whole shit preceding it.
00:49:45.000 Which, by the way, I fucking love.
00:49:48.000 Yeah.
00:49:48.000 Dawn of the Dead?
00:49:49.000 Oh!
00:49:49.000 Yeah.
00:49:50.000 Remember Dawn of the Dead in the fucking news studio?
00:49:52.000 Remember that?
00:49:53.000 It's all falling apart.
00:49:55.000 It's just starting to fall the fuck apart and people are trying to like rationalize what's happening and SWAT teams are going in and just blowing the shit out of people and all of society is collapsing.
00:50:04.000 I love that.
00:50:05.000 I like starting at the collapse of society and then going into the post-apocalyptic state.
00:50:12.000 I hate movies that are the lead up to the disaster where like...
00:50:17.000 80% of the movie is like the lead up and then you just get 20% of Apocalypse.
00:50:22.000 I like fucking 90% Apocalypse.
00:50:24.000 You know what's a really cool movie?
00:50:25.000 What?
00:50:25.000 It's weird.
00:50:26.000 It's very original.
00:50:27.000 It's called Pontypool.
00:50:29.000 I think it's a Canadian movie.
00:50:31.000 And it's about these people that are...
00:50:35.000 They're in a radio studio.
00:50:37.000 The whole show takes place, the whole movie takes place in like essentially one scene.
00:50:42.000 It's one area.
00:50:43.000 It's all in this radio studio.
00:50:45.000 They're trapped in there while this zombie apocalypse is raging to their town.
00:50:49.000 Yeah.
00:50:49.000 It's pretty fucking cool.
00:50:50.000 It's fucking cool, man.
00:50:51.000 Yeah, and the people that were working with them become infected, and they're trapped in the sound booth.
00:50:57.000 They realize that these things are blind, but they can hear you, and they can smell you, and they're, like, trying to get at them through the glass.
00:51:03.000 It's pretty fucking cool, man.
00:51:05.000 It sucks.
00:51:05.000 It's, like, a real low-budget sort of a movie, but I found it to be pretty original.
00:51:10.000 Dude...
00:51:10.000 If you know what I'm saying, it's like one of those, you want to watch something creepy?
00:51:14.000 Let's watch something creepy at night.
00:51:15.000 Yeah, that's...
00:51:16.000 Have you seen The Road or read The Road?
00:51:19.000 Yeah.
00:51:20.000 Dude, that's the Hugo, Vigo Morgan.
00:51:23.000 I watched that up until the point when he was teaching his son how to shoot himself in the mouth.
00:51:27.000 And I was like, check, please.
00:51:29.000 I think the author of that book was Cormac McCarthy, I think.
00:51:33.000 I can't remember the name.
00:51:33.000 The book was insane.
00:51:35.000 But that fucking movie, man.
00:51:37.000 To me, that really captured what it's going to look like.
00:51:40.000 I'm sure.
00:51:42.000 That's what it fucking looks like.
00:51:43.000 Just want people desperately trying to find food.
00:51:48.000 Because even the walking dead, they're trying to find food, but somehow, I guess they're on a farm and part of it, but they end up with some pretty nice home-cooked meals.
00:51:57.000 And people are like...
00:51:59.000 People have, like, setups where they have big fences and crossbows.
00:52:02.000 Yeah, and they look healthy.
00:52:04.000 They look like they've been taking vitamins and going on a fucking treadmill.
00:52:08.000 Because they have, because they're actors.
00:52:09.000 Right.
00:52:10.000 But the fucking, the road, the road, man.
00:52:14.000 Yeah.
00:52:14.000 Nobody looks good.
00:52:15.000 Yeah, it looks like they told nobody to eat for, like, days before you shoot.
00:52:20.000 Pale and stressed out.
00:52:21.000 Yeah.
00:52:22.000 That would be the way to do it, too.
00:52:24.000 If you were going to be one of those method guys, one of those Gary Oldman motherfuckers, I bet he would not eat for a couple days.
00:52:31.000 Yeah, I mean, you don't eat and you drink a lot of fucking coffee and you lose a lot of sleep and you get into a nice fatigued state of, like, stress.
00:52:39.000 Because that's what it is.
00:52:40.000 That's what it's going to be like, man.
00:52:41.000 It's going to be fucking pure stress.
00:52:44.000 You're probably going to die.
00:52:45.000 You're probably going to get arrested.
00:52:47.000 You're probably going to watch a friend die.
00:52:49.000 You're probably going to watch your girlfriend get raped by some fucking super powerful dudes who are just like, fuck it!
00:52:55.000 And it's not going to be like the criminals that you see on Mad Max.
00:52:59.000 They're gonna be dumber than those.
00:53:01.000 It's just gonna be dumb people who have power.
00:53:03.000 Just dumb people with a gun.
00:53:05.000 That's gonna be the problem when the fucking grid shuts down.
00:53:09.000 Dumb people with guns.
00:53:10.000 And it is entirely within the realm of possibility.
00:53:14.000 It's ignored, but it's entirely within the realm of possibility.
00:53:18.000 This is so fragile.
00:53:20.000 We have a house made of toothpicks and tissue paper, and it's on the edge of a cliff.
00:53:26.000 In relationship to how our civilization is set up and structured for longevity in this incredibly volatile galaxy, and this incredibly volatile solar system, just the planet itself, all the natural shit that can go down, and on top of it all the dumb fucking shit that we're doing, like nuclear power.
00:53:48.000 fucking assholes.
00:53:50.000 You want fucking proof of that?
00:53:51.000 Go check out the Dark Ages.
00:53:53.000 Go look at what the fucking Catholic Church did to our species.
00:53:56.000 This is where it gets crazy about the Catholic Church, dude.
00:53:59.000 The Catholic Church molested our species when they were in their teens.
00:54:04.000 When our species was just fucking getting shit going, the Catholic Church came in and just started torching people, burning people, killing people left and right, wiping out entire civilizations all in the name of Jesus and all of this from an interpretation of the fucking uh new testament uh which is paulian theology from a guy who never met christ and some people speculate uh the real disciples thought he was a liar called him a liar called the paul a liar
00:54:34.000 which is why when you look at the epistles from paul a lot of times he's defending himself he's like i'm not a liar i mean why would you say this to me because the real disciples were like hey dude who the are you so he was like a late night infomercial salesman there you go exactly and that shit got adopted by the roman empire because they wanted to go to war and they just were like yeah let's use this we're We can use this.
00:54:56.000 Let's figure out a way to make love your neighbor as yourself and love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul into going into the Middle East and stealing all their gold.
00:55:06.000 Let's figure out a way to do that.
00:55:09.000 Oh, I know.
00:55:10.000 Here's an idea.
00:55:11.000 I know.
00:55:12.000 There are heathens.
00:55:13.000 Let's go over there and kill the motherfuckers in the name of the guy who said, don't kill anybody.
00:55:18.000 You know, we've had this really intense series of conversations with people about conspiracy theories lately.
00:55:24.000 Both pro and con, like having Brian Cowan who doesn't believe in any conspiracy theory, and Eddie Bravo who believes in a lot of conspiracy theories.
00:55:32.000 But the most fascinating thing to me is how many people will just blatantly dismiss conspiracy theories.
00:55:38.000 Like...
00:55:39.000 Like, 9-11 is my favorite one.
00:55:41.000 You cannot dismiss 9-11 as a conspiracy theory because it was a conspiracy that caused 9-11 from the enemy in the first place, okay?
00:55:53.000 Someone conspired some big event and made...
00:55:56.000 Some human beings made planes fly in the buildings and a bunch of people died.
00:56:02.000 That is a fact.
00:56:03.000 The idea that...
00:56:05.000 That no one could conspire to do that is ridiculous, because it had to be a conspiracy in order for it to happen in the first place.
00:56:14.000 There's a lot of people involved.
00:56:16.000 They had to keep their mouths shut.
00:56:17.000 They had to pass information through in JPEG form.
00:56:20.000 They would fucking send things to each other by sending each other innocuous-looking emails with pictures in them.
00:56:26.000 And then people would take those pictures and open them up in a program that would allow to see writing in between the ones and zeros of the image.
00:56:33.000 Yes.
00:56:34.000 How about that?
00:56:36.000 That's pretty dope.
00:56:37.000 I always look at this shit from the perspective of like, whenever you get to be in any kind of corporation, if you go to a high enough level, you realize that people stop following the same rules that everybody just followed.
00:56:48.000 Like I can remember, I used to work at this summer camp in North Carolina called Camp Pinnacle, and I can remember like, I went to camp there too as a camper, but I can remember at one point, I can remember at one point, At being a counselor and then like the people who ran the camp came during the time when all the kids are supposed to be taking naps to my cabin like hey come on and then we went out in the lake and just floated on inner tubes and I was like fuck this is breaking all the rules but it's the people running the camp breaking the rules so it's totally cool Wow.
00:57:18.000 But that's a tiny, tiny, micro example, but it's the same thing all over the place up top, where it's like, look, dude, don't worry about that cocaine charge.
00:57:29.000 What?
00:57:30.000 Oh, how much do you owe in taxes?
00:57:31.000 Don't worry about that.
00:57:32.000 We'll take care of that, man.
00:57:33.000 Well, how about when presidents leave office and then dismiss a whole bunch of people?
00:57:36.000 Yeah.
00:57:37.000 Like, who are these pardons?
00:57:39.000 Presidents are allowed to, like, just give wide-open pardons to a gang of people for doing all kinds of creepy shit.
00:57:44.000 Yeah, why do they get to do that, you know?
00:57:46.000 That's a crazy rule.
00:57:47.000 You get to bypass the whole legal system, and they have, like, a list.
00:57:51.000 It's not just one person.
00:57:53.000 Like, they have a personal cause, and there's a guy who's unjustly accused, and I think this man needs to be pardoned.
00:57:59.000 No, no, no, it's not that.
00:58:01.000 There's a list.
00:58:02.000 They get, like, 20 or 30 of them or something crazy.
00:58:05.000 Oh, sure, man.
00:58:05.000 How many do they get a pardon?
00:58:07.000 I don't know, but...
00:58:07.000 I bet it's an unlimited amount.
00:58:09.000 I bet there's some fucking checks coming in, though.
00:58:11.000 Because I feel like somebody's abused it recently.
00:58:14.000 Like, maybe Clinton.
00:58:17.000 How many pardons does the president get?
00:58:20.000 Is that what it be?
00:58:21.000 Yeah.
00:58:22.000 God, this keyboard sucks.
00:58:23.000 That's crazy, though, man.
00:58:25.000 That is crazy.
00:58:26.000 So, yeah, I think fucking conspiracies happen because they happen in the smallest levels of society.
00:58:30.000 Why wouldn't they happen in the highest levels of society?
00:58:33.000 Yeah.
00:58:34.000 Totally.
00:58:36.000 Yeah, of course, man.
00:58:37.000 It's everywhere you go, man.
00:58:38.000 Unless people, like, are operating under the illusion that politicians are honest or don't, like...
00:58:43.000 Presidents can pardon as many people as they want.
00:58:47.000 So they can pardon everyone.
00:58:49.000 Goddamn.
00:58:49.000 So if you were the president, like, if Obama got pissed and went out of office as the last attack, he could be like, I'm pardoning every prisoner in every prison all over the country.
00:59:00.000 Yo, dude, sweat this.
00:59:02.000 President Clinton issued 456 executive clemency orders, 395 pardons, and 61 commutations between 93 and January 20th of 2001. That's amazing.
00:59:17.000 President Bush has 191 pardons.
00:59:22.000 Jimmy Carter granted amnesty to all Vietnam-era draft dodgers.
00:59:26.000 Wow.
00:59:26.000 That's cool.
00:59:27.000 That's pretty beautiful.
00:59:28.000 So Obama, when he gets out of office, he could pardon all people in there for medical marijuana.
00:59:33.000 You know who dodged the draft in Vietnam?
00:59:36.000 Ted Nugent.
00:59:37.000 It's kind of crazy.
00:59:39.000 No shit.
00:59:39.000 Because he's such a pro-war guy, but there's a depiction of what he did.
00:59:44.000 I don't know if it's true, but he definitely didn't go to war.
00:59:48.000 But now he's super pro-war as he's gotten older.
00:59:52.000 Pro-war is a weird stance.
00:59:54.000 Well, the idea of pro-America, I mean, look, if we really were living in the Game of Thrones, you better be fucking pro-America.
01:00:01.000 You know, you better be, like, down for this one team, because otherwise some Dothraki hordes from the other side of the world might fucking hop on a ship and come over and jack you.
01:00:09.000 That's right.
01:00:09.000 It was very important back then.
01:00:11.000 But as we're connected by the Internet, the idea of countries is becoming less and less relevant.
01:00:18.000 It's all about local government, And laws, and the whole world is one big fucking connection.
01:00:26.000 The whole world is one big piece.
01:00:27.000 That's why all these people in the Middle East are freaking out.
01:00:30.000 The real rally and cry for freedom is coming from the internet.
01:00:34.000 That's how they're using Twitter, and they're using Facebook to communicate with, and, you know, that's all emanating from the internet.
01:00:40.000 Well, man, I heard this thing, and, like, I never read it.
01:00:44.000 I think a teacher told me this, and I never explored it.
01:00:47.000 I'm sure I'll find out now, though.
01:00:49.000 But it was this idea that About communism and how Karl Marx said that real communism was going to be a natural evolution of society into real communism, not something imposed, something that's just a natural, obvious result of people getting smarter and understanding the way things work.
01:01:08.000 Money aids in a lot of things.
01:01:11.000 What it does is it gives you an incentive to innovate.
01:01:14.000 It gives you an incentive to work hard.
01:01:15.000 It gives you something to show a score, which a lot of people like to see.
01:01:20.000 If you want innovation...
01:01:21.000 Right.
01:01:22.000 I'm definitely not a communist.
01:01:24.000 No, I know you're not.
01:01:25.000 I'm definitely not anti-money, but what I'm starting to see I'm happening is that the more that you work in like little collectives with people, the more you help the people around you, you know, as much as you can, just the people directly around you, the more that group rises up and succeeds, right?
01:01:47.000 And this is the idea of the, you know, new form of like podcast networks, which is where you have like, Like my friend, he's doing a podcast network called Feral Audio.
01:01:58.000 An idea is just a group of people that are like plugging in together and like sharing profits.
01:02:05.000 This is the new model of things.
01:02:06.000 It's a collective of artists and people.
01:02:09.000 Well, I mean, I'm not sure if the podcast world represents a microcosm of the entire, you know, universe.
01:02:16.000 Well, no, no, but here's the thing.
01:02:18.000 This is what's beautiful about it, and this is why I bring it up as a new thing.
01:02:21.000 The reason that it's...
01:02:22.000 The reason we can do podcasts, and the reason, like...
01:02:28.000 like seeing comedians shoot their own special owners because we have more access to technology than we had before.
01:02:34.000 And technology is shrinking, getting smaller, which is basically creating a situation where collectives form instead of the pyramid, Illuminati, top-down power structure where someone owns the equipment and gets the majority of the dough.
01:02:50.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
01:02:51.000 It's like everything's shifting, widening out, spreading out.
01:02:54.000 And that's why these fucking tyrants in the Middle East, it doesn't work when people have information.
01:03:00.000 Right.
01:03:00.000 It doesn't work.
01:03:01.000 Well, you know, I've always remembered when they were talking to Muhammad Ali, because when I was a kid, I remember when he had gotten...
01:03:10.000 When he had fought Michael Spinks, it was on television.
01:03:13.000 It was like a big deal.
01:03:14.000 I remember my parents were trying to explain to me when I was a kid like what had happened.
01:03:18.000 That they had kept him from fighting.
01:03:20.000 Like my parents wanted to see him fight.
01:03:22.000 I can't believe my parents were into fighting at all.
01:03:25.000 But they wanted to see Muhammad Ali beat Leon Spinks.
01:03:28.000 It was like some important fight.
01:03:30.000 And their idea was that this guy was like a cultural hero.
01:03:34.000 Because what he had done was stepped up and said, why would I shoot a guy in Vietnam?
01:03:39.000 No Vietnam man ever did anything to me.
01:03:41.000 And he's right.
01:03:42.000 And he was 100% right.
01:03:43.000 And everybody knew it.
01:03:44.000 And it made sense.
01:03:45.000 And because of that, they punished him.
01:03:46.000 And they wouldn't let him box for three years.
01:03:49.000 They took away his livelihood in the prime of his career, like physically.
01:03:54.000 Yeah, that phenomena that you just described has been going on since the history of top-down power structures.
01:04:03.000 This book I'm reading, now I can't remember the name, it's so fucking good, but it's got a picture of Copernicus standing before Catholic popes and being judged for talking about the fact that the earth revolves around the sun.
01:04:21.000 You know, it's like this is a people say the truth throughout history and many people have gone to jail or gotten burned at the fucking stake for it.
01:04:30.000 I think the last time I drank this energy It's pretty mellow for an energy drink.
01:04:42.000 A lot of it is natural, it's like B12 in it and shit.
01:04:44.000 Did these guys sponsor you?
01:04:46.000 No, it's just a friend of mine.
01:04:47.000 Lime light!
01:04:48.000 Powerful lime light.
01:04:49.000 My friend Tom Atencio, he used to run Affliction, and he was the guy who put together the, or one of the guys who put together their mixed martial arts cards that they had, and I always appreciated that, that he did that, that Affliction supported MMA. So I became friends with him.
01:05:05.000 And I was wearing their shirts for a little while, but then they fired him, so I quit out of respect for my friend.
01:05:11.000 I avoided my partnership with them.
01:05:15.000 But he sends me soda now.
01:05:17.000 He's cool as fuck.
01:05:19.000 He's a good dude.
01:05:20.000 I just really respected what he and his company did for MMA. They really supported a lot of fighters.
01:05:27.000 They supported a lot of fighters by promoting them.
01:05:33.000 They put on actual shows.
01:05:35.000 They had, I think, three big shows.
01:05:38.000 And some of them were fucking great.
01:05:41.000 They were great fights.
01:05:41.000 They put together some wild fights.
01:05:43.000 But they just found out it's way too expensive.
01:05:46.000 People don't realize how much money the UFC spends behind the scenes, like how much it costs to keep the machine running.
01:05:52.000 It's an amazing amount of work.
01:05:56.000 There's so many people behind the scenes, and all of them have a long history.
01:05:59.000 And the UFC has this big name.
01:06:02.000 It's hard to fuck with that.
01:06:03.000 It's like to try to make a rival football league, even if you have a lot of talent, you Man, everybody knows what the NFL is.
01:06:10.000 You know, they tried that shit a couple of times.
01:06:12.000 They tried it with the XFL. Remember, it was like Vince McMahon, the wrestling guy, tried to do that.
01:06:17.000 It's hard.
01:06:17.000 It's hard to get people to, you know, and the UFC is consistent with getting the best talent.
01:06:24.000 Consistently get the best talent.
01:06:25.000 Like, what's her name?
01:06:27.000 Oh, yeah, Ronda Rousey?
01:06:28.000 No, the girl who walks around with the number.
01:06:31.000 Oh, Ariane?
01:06:32.000 Oh, man!
01:06:34.000 She is beautiful!
01:06:36.000 She's got a perfect face.
01:06:37.000 Oh, my God, perfect everything, man.
01:06:39.000 Her face is just, she has a flawless face.
01:06:42.000 It's like, wow, so pretty.
01:06:44.000 What's really funny about watching her is she's gotten down this casual wave to the hordes of pervs who are screaming at her, like, not acknowledging the fact that it's like, It's like an apocalypse now.
01:06:55.000 Yes!
01:06:56.000 By the sea of testosterone.
01:06:58.000 She does this little side like two finger wave.
01:07:01.000 Do you remember that scene?
01:07:02.000 That was a great fucking scene in Apocalypse Now.
01:07:05.000 Yeah.
01:07:05.000 That seems so real.
01:07:07.000 Totally real, man.
01:07:09.000 If you had ever seen it, what happens is these guys are over there fighting at war.
01:07:12.000 It's only men.
01:07:13.000 There's thousands of them.
01:07:15.000 They fly in these Playboy Playmates and they're like dancing around on stage and it just gets angry.
01:07:20.000 It becomes like a mosh pit of gorillas and eventually they have to abandon and fucking fly out of there.
01:07:26.000 Yeah.
01:07:26.000 Dude, that was one of the best.
01:07:28.000 That movie was so fun.
01:07:29.000 Did someone get left behind in that scene?
01:07:31.000 I don't remember.
01:07:33.000 I should.
01:07:33.000 I don't remember.
01:07:34.000 Can I ask an important question?
01:07:35.000 I think a lot of UFC fans wonder this every day, me included.
01:07:39.000 Okay.
01:07:40.000 What's her name?
01:07:42.000 Ariani.
01:07:42.000 Does she have a boyfriend?
01:07:43.000 I do not know if she currently has a boyfriend.
01:07:46.000 I do not know.
01:07:48.000 Well, we're dying to know, because we all feel like...
01:07:51.000 Do you think everyone has a shot?
01:07:54.000 I know!
01:07:55.000 That girl gets bombed on by...
01:07:57.000 I can't...
01:07:58.000 By princes!
01:07:58.000 Of course.
01:07:59.000 She gets bombed on by the Rothschilds.
01:08:01.000 She gets bombed on by people who, like, transform into a reptilian in front of her.
01:08:05.000 Here, take a diamond.
01:08:07.000 She wouldn't do this, but if she wanted to.
01:08:09.000 She wouldn't, but if she wanted to.
01:08:11.000 She's the type of chick that can get some, like, Middle East king to fly her out for, like, a million bucks.
01:08:15.000 Easy.
01:08:16.000 Yeah, easy.
01:08:17.000 A million bucks a night.
01:08:18.000 That's crazy.
01:08:19.000 That's fucking crazy.
01:08:21.000 Fuckin' for 10 million.
01:08:22.000 Yeah, I mean, when you have a trillion bucks, like, from what I understand, there's, like, royal families that have so much money, and their money's not public.
01:08:33.000 Like, when people look at, like, who's, like, the richest man in the world, oh, it's Bill Gates, or it's...
01:08:38.000 It's probably not.
01:08:38.000 It's actually probably some dude in the Middle East that doesn't talk about it at all.
01:08:42.000 And, you know, some prancer.
01:08:44.000 Like, they have extraordinary amounts of money.
01:08:46.000 And I don't think that a lot of times it gets measured up in the same pile.
01:08:51.000 I might be wrong about that, but from what people have told me about really, really wealthy people in the Middle East, there's some of the wealthiest people on earth.
01:09:01.000 That it's like insane, staggering amounts of wealth.
01:09:04.000 The thing I like to think about is like maybe...
01:09:07.000 You know like when you walk by a school and you see all the kids playing in the playground.
01:09:11.000 Some of them are fucking playing like four squares.
01:09:13.000 Some of them are running around playing tag and they're just having a blast.
01:09:17.000 Sometimes I think maybe that's what society is.
01:09:19.000 Maybe we're...
01:09:20.000 Just like kids playing around in this playground that's been created by really, really smart, super wealthy people who kind of watch and watch.
01:09:31.000 Maybe they have some fun with us.
01:09:33.000 They throw shit in there every once in a while just to play around.
01:09:36.000 They're so fucking powerful and rich.
01:09:39.000 They don't need to go in there and seem like they're famous or act like they're magical.
01:09:43.000 They just like to watch.
01:09:44.000 It's fun.
01:09:45.000 Every once in a while they'll throw in something crazy.
01:09:48.000 Every once in a while they'll throw in the AIDS virus or toss in.
01:09:52.000 Well, when you have power for no reason, which essentially everyone at the very top of the heat pass, there's no reason why you should have power.
01:10:00.000 Okay, now if you have power for no reason, you know that...
01:10:04.000 It's not like you earned your power through your basketball skills, you know, the fact that you shoot a wicked three-pointer, or you're awesome at the violin.
01:10:12.000 No, there's no real tangible skill that you present that anybody else couldn't also have.
01:10:18.000 You know, I mean, what is vague characteristics like leadership and intelligence, the ability to speak well?
01:10:23.000 Goddamn, there's a lot of people that have that.
01:10:25.000 Yeah, there's thousands of people out there in your neighborhood that can do that, okay?
01:10:30.000 So they know that you have to be treacherous in order to retain this power.
01:10:35.000 When you see different laws every day that are being brought up, like the National Defense Authorization Act and all this other different stuff.
01:10:42.000 When you see civil liberties getting eroded and you see corruption getting eroded, there's your evidence.
01:10:47.000 That is the exact evidence that you need to know that the people that are in a position of power Shouldn't be in power.
01:10:53.000 They're trying to get more and more and more control.
01:10:56.000 Why are you trying to get more and more control?
01:10:58.000 Why are you actively trying to get control?
01:11:00.000 Instead of dealing with the issues that we already have, dealing with the crime that we already have, dealing with unsolved murders or what have you, instead of devoting your time into that aspect of helping society with law, instead of doing that, you're trying to take away civil liberties.
01:11:15.000 You're trying to erode people's freedoms.
01:11:18.000 Yeah.
01:11:18.000 That's the purest sign ever that the people who are in a position of power shouldn't be in a position of power.
01:11:23.000 It's really sad, too.
01:11:24.000 It's pure.
01:11:25.000 There's no arguing it.
01:11:26.000 There's no denying it.
01:11:27.000 Obama can never deny it.
01:11:28.000 If you brought it up to him, there's nothing he could say.
01:11:30.000 There's no way anybody could say, for your own good, we need to take away your ability to send a private email to somebody.
01:11:36.000 You can't have that.
01:11:38.000 Well, what they say is they inevitably...
01:11:40.000 One thing that they'll always say is it's complicated.
01:11:43.000 It's a very complex system.
01:11:44.000 You don't understand.
01:11:45.000 There's a lot more to it than just legalizing marijuana.
01:11:48.000 There's a lot more to it, Joe.
01:11:50.000 It's always complicated.
01:11:51.000 Vampires love complication.
01:11:53.000 They love tangles and complexity and the opposite of simplicity.
01:11:58.000 You know why?
01:11:59.000 Because they fucking hate the truth.
01:12:01.000 And the truth is always simple.
01:12:03.000 The truth is always just a very simple thing.
01:12:05.000 You know, you jump off a cliff, you're going to die.
01:12:09.000 If you fucking don't eat, you're going to be hungry.
01:12:14.000 Tweet.
01:12:14.000 Fucking vampires, they will take a truth and they'll transform it and extrapolate so much shit from it that it turns into a fucking lie.
01:12:23.000 And then they say, you know, we can't.
01:12:24.000 It's just too tangled up.
01:12:25.000 The world's economy is just too confusing.
01:12:27.000 This is why we've got to exploit these people.
01:12:30.000 This is why we've got to throw farmers in jail because it's complicated.
01:12:34.000 This is why we're at war.
01:12:35.000 We can't just not go to war.
01:12:37.000 It's complicated.
01:12:37.000 It's always complicated.
01:12:39.000 But in...
01:12:40.000 In real life, it's not complicated.
01:12:43.000 There's nothing fucking complicated about, you probably shouldn't throw bombs places where there's kids.
01:12:51.000 That's like if you see somebody throwing bombs in a place where there's some kids, you're gonna be like, you know, you probably shouldn't do that.
01:13:00.000 It fucking kills kids.
01:13:06.000 Insurgents.
01:13:06.000 Insurgents could be in that, oh, you mean fucking farmers who are sick of you driving tanks through their opium fields?
01:13:12.000 Is that the insurgents you're talking about?
01:13:14.000 Well, you've seen the original video from WikiLeaks, right?
01:13:17.000 The collateral murder video?
01:13:19.000 Yeah.
01:13:19.000 Where it shows the helicopter shooting missiles and shit into a car that has kids in it?
01:13:25.000 Oh, yeah.
01:13:25.000 And they, you know, and someone says his kids, well, you know, they shouldn't have been taking their kids while they're carrying guns.
01:13:31.000 I mean, whatever the fuck they said.
01:13:32.000 You know, you shouldn't have had your kids with you.
01:13:34.000 As if they should have thought about that, since they're the enemy.
01:13:37.000 They should have, you know, they were innocent.
01:13:39.000 They shot a bunch of innocent people.
01:13:40.000 It was a complete, total clusterfuck.
01:13:43.000 Sure.
01:13:43.000 It's not complicated.
01:13:44.000 It's a real simple thing about life.
01:13:46.000 That's the thing.
01:13:47.000 There's some simple ideas, Matt.
01:13:49.000 You're not supposed to shoot into cars that have kids in them.
01:13:51.000 You're not supposed to shoot into cars that have kids in them.
01:13:53.000 And also, if you send out good energy into the world, you get good energy back.
01:13:58.000 There's another basic principle that you can test all day.
01:14:01.000 Test it next week.
01:14:03.000 Yeah, they didn't even zoom in to see if the people do have guns.
01:14:09.000 They just fucking gunned them down, man.
01:14:12.000 To have that ability and that kind of power, and they're saying, oh, we're pretty sure this guy's got a gun, and this guy's got a gun, and they're like, permission to engage, and they get permission, they just fucking open up on these people.
01:14:25.000 And that's it.
01:14:25.000 Those people don't exist anymore.
01:14:27.000 That's it.
01:14:28.000 And it's...
01:14:29.000 And we wouldn't even know that that is happening.
01:14:31.000 We wouldn't even know.
01:14:31.000 Have you seen the new video, the Blackwater video that's been released recently?
01:14:35.000 No.
01:14:35.000 The Young Turks had it on that guy, Senk.
01:14:38.000 I really like that guy's show.
01:14:41.000 He's fucking fearless, man.
01:14:43.000 He attacks everything.
01:14:44.000 He attacks, like, he goes after that Peter Schiff guy.
01:14:49.000 You know, Peter Schiff, when he starts, you know, making excuses for Wall Street.
01:14:53.000 Right.
01:14:54.000 You know, and the way to fix this.
01:14:55.000 And he's just like, no, you, and he calls him out on it.
01:14:57.000 He's like, you just want to keep extracting more money from the system.
01:15:00.000 You just want to keep, you know, you're talking bullshit, and he cut him off.
01:15:03.000 And I liked it, man.
01:15:04.000 It was interesting.
01:15:05.000 But he was talking about this, and he was, you know, he was talking about how, what was the fucking law?
01:15:14.000 What was the law that was passed?
01:15:16.000 Which one?
01:15:19.000 Shit.
01:15:21.000 I've completely lost my thought.
01:15:23.000 What was his fucking thing about?
01:15:26.000 The Young Turks?
01:15:27.000 Yeah.
01:15:27.000 I didn't see it.
01:15:28.000 Shit.
01:15:29.000 Goddammit.
01:15:34.000 Look, let's rewind a few steps back.
01:15:36.000 All this macro shit, man, thinking about the macro, the conspiracy...
01:15:40.000 Yeah, but this is going to drive me crazy if I don't remember what this fucking guy's video was about.
01:15:43.000 Oh, the Iraqi...
01:15:44.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:15:45.000 Oh, yeah.
01:15:47.000 This is why.
01:15:47.000 It was so disturbing.
01:15:48.000 I'm probably trying to forget it.
01:15:50.000 It was watching the Blackwater guys.
01:15:53.000 The Young Turks made a video about this and exposed it and showed...
01:15:57.000 There's new videos that have been released that were like from the actual cars of the guys in Blackwater that were driving around smashing into people's cars.
01:16:06.000 One of them, they hit a lady while she was walking across the street.
01:16:09.000 And you see the guy, see the lady go down, go, oh, shit.
01:16:12.000 And they just drive on.
01:16:14.000 They just left her there.
01:16:15.000 And they're smashed into people's cars.
01:16:17.000 They're sticking their guns out the window and just randomly shooting at things.
01:16:21.000 It's really fucking crazy.
01:16:23.000 It's really crazy to watch, man.
01:16:24.000 It's really crazy.
01:16:25.000 And that's just...
01:16:27.000 There's no getting around that.
01:16:29.000 You can't...
01:16:30.000 You know what you were talking about?
01:16:31.000 making the Catholic religion or any kind of crazy cult that wants to have some sort of justification for doing something really fucking wrong will read you some huge, huge volume and tone on why it is that what they're doing is the correct move for everybody else in the long run.
01:16:47.000 When you show a video like that, is that correct move using mercenaries, man?
01:16:51.000 You see how crazy this is?
01:16:54.000 You got people that are willing to kill people for money, and you're paying them a fuckload of it, and you're letting them just run amok.
01:17:01.000 I mean, this is a problem that will always exist as long as power structures are triangular instead of circular.
01:17:11.000 And there's no way around that, man.
01:17:14.000 There's always just going to be that.
01:17:16.000 There's no way around that.
01:17:17.000 And the problem is, when power structures are triangular, they don't usually...
01:17:21.000 The people at the top of that fucking triangle, the pyramid, they don't...
01:17:24.000 They won't listen to logic.
01:17:26.000 They don't care about what's right or what's wrong.
01:17:28.000 They're not going to listen to you.
01:17:29.000 You have to take the power from them.
01:17:31.000 That's what the idea of the fucking...
01:17:33.000 Well, they have to die off, too.
01:17:34.000 That's the other possibility.
01:17:36.000 Well, let's hope.
01:17:37.000 Let's hope they die off because it's been a few thousand years and they don't seem to be going anywhere.
01:17:41.000 It's just they take different forms.
01:17:43.000 They put on different masks.
01:17:44.000 And admittedly, the violence is lessening.
01:17:47.000 And lessening, so maybe the violence will dissipate to nothing.
01:17:50.000 I had no idea, man.
01:17:51.000 I've been reading this fucking book about what the goddamn Catholics did to the fucking Cathars, is what they were called.
01:17:57.000 Wikipedia, that.
01:17:58.000 The Cathars just got exterminated by the Catholic Church.
01:18:02.000 Just burn at the fucking stake, man, for believing a different version of Christianity.
01:18:09.000 It could have been a threat.
01:18:10.000 Well, this is a long time ago, obviously.
01:18:11.000 It's just amazing that in 2012, after all the time and all the supposed shit that we had learned from the Dark Ages, and today, even still, you've got this video released, this Blackwater video, of people just going to a foreign land and just fucking people up.
01:18:26.000 You know, it's...
01:18:28.000 That is at the very peak of our society when it comes to like causing change and damage and that is like the highest, most impactful part of our world is war, right?
01:18:43.000 And as far as, like, destruction and as far as, like, that's, like, society at its breaking point or its boiling point.
01:18:50.000 And it seems to stay at that same level.
01:18:54.000 It seems to stay at that same level where we're always just that close to fucking everything up.
01:18:59.000 We're always that close.
01:19:00.000 And, like, as good as it ever got was, like, when Clinton was in office.
01:19:03.000 It didn't really seem like we were going to war anymore.
01:19:05.000 It seemed like the Soviet Union had kind of fallen apart and we're the only big dog in town.
01:19:09.000 We're pretty cool and we're not going to fuck with anybody.
01:19:10.000 So it felt like everything was going to be okay.
01:19:14.000 But then it went right back up to its boiling point.
01:19:17.000 And you realize that boiling point where we had with the Clinton boiling point, that was unusual.
01:19:22.000 That was unusual.
01:19:23.000 The lack of threat of imminent death.
01:19:25.000 That's the unusual thing.
01:19:27.000 This normal thing that we've gone through with the Bush administration and that we go through with the Obama administration now, that's unusual.
01:19:34.000 Or that is rather the norm.
01:19:36.000 The unusual thing is peace.
01:19:37.000 The unusual thing is prosperity and relaxation and not worrying about fucking bombs dropping over your head from the other side of the world.
01:19:45.000 Well, yeah, it's definitely normal when the people who are making the laws have apparently been paid off by people who prosper from war.
01:19:55.000 It's totally normal then.
01:19:56.000 But it's amazing that it's still pushed through.
01:20:00.000 It's amazing.
01:20:00.000 It's amazing that in this day and age it can be so obvious.
01:20:04.000 It can be so laid out and yet still get pushed through.
01:20:07.000 Here's what's fucking amazing.
01:20:08.000 What's amazing is there's somebody in a corporation that...
01:20:12.000 Has to have war happening or they're going to go bankrupt.
01:20:16.000 That's what's amazing.
01:20:18.000 There's people who are like, man, we've got to get some wars, dude.
01:20:20.000 Our division is strictly missile reconstruction.
01:20:24.000 If we're not blowing up missiles, then we're not reconstructing areas where missiles are destroyed.
01:20:29.000 Yeah, that's it.
01:20:30.000 Yeah, exactly, dude.
01:20:32.000 That's what they're thinking.
01:20:34.000 When they hear that peace might be coming, that's hearing that they're about to go bankrupt.
01:20:41.000 Do you think this call is like, hey, I heard that y'all are running a surplus on a certain missile that we're about to go into construction on and we don't want to come out with version two while y'all still got version one going on.
01:20:53.000 Do you think you can make some campaigns where you can put those bad boys to use?
01:20:57.000 Yeah, let's come on.
01:20:58.000 We shouldn't be afraid to Do you think that a fucking Robert Downey Jr. contractor character could call somebody up and ask him to launch the missiles?
01:21:06.000 Dude, do you think when those sons of bitches who manufacture that shit watch war footage on the news, they're like, oh, hell yeah, that's a B-9-6.
01:21:14.000 That's my boy.
01:21:15.000 That's the child shredder.
01:21:17.000 Hell yeah.
01:21:18.000 Look at that thing.
01:21:18.000 Look at the spread on that bomb.
01:21:20.000 Woo!
01:21:21.000 Hell yeah.
01:21:22.000 Every time they see that, they're like, cha-ching, cha-ching.
01:21:24.000 Every time a bomb goes off, they're like, yeah, that's a hundred grand, hundred grand, hundred grand.
01:21:28.000 Yeah.
01:21:29.000 What about dudes that have never been to war, but they're obsessed with Soldier Fortune magazine and home protection and fucking packing heat everywhere they go?
01:21:41.000 They live in the Wild West in the back of their head.
01:21:43.000 Dude, I gotta tell you, man, I think I got the potential to be like that.
01:21:46.000 Do you?
01:21:47.000 Yeah, because I like...
01:21:49.000 Well, it's an equalizer.
01:21:49.000 That's why people like it.
01:21:51.000 If you feel like you've been put in a situation where you could have been in danger physically because some asshole wanted to fuck you up, and they could have done that to you, that's a terrible, terrible feeling.
01:22:01.000 So once you've experienced that terrible feeling, you want to have some sort of an equalizer.
01:22:05.000 Preparation.
01:22:06.000 Nothing wrong with it, man.
01:22:07.000 I really, I mean, and it seems so weird because I know I come off as this kind of, like, hippie dude, but I was raised in the South, man, and my dad taught me how to be safe with a gun, taught me how fun it was to shoot a gun, taught me, like, you know, took me hunting, and I'm not afraid of guns.
01:22:21.000 I think they're fucking awesome, man.
01:22:23.000 They're really cool.
01:22:24.000 I just don't, I haven't gotten around to buying one.
01:22:28.000 In LA, and now it feels like there's this, you know, we were talking about this around Diaz, and he was saying, like, it'll attract guns.
01:22:36.000 Yeah, that's what Diaz thinks.
01:22:37.000 A lot of people think that.
01:22:39.000 They think that if you have the weapon, it will act as some kind of magnet for negativity that will, like, bring it to you.
01:22:46.000 It's a superstitious idea, but some part of me, I'm like, oh shit, maybe so, man.
01:22:51.000 I don't know.
01:22:52.000 Maybe I should just ignore it and not have a gun.
01:22:54.000 I mean, I doubt anyone's Well, you never know, man.
01:22:59.000 You never know.
01:22:59.000 Somebody could just decide to fucking kick in your door and, like, take your shit and fucking stab you to death.
01:23:05.000 People do get robbed.
01:23:07.000 There are home invasions.
01:23:08.000 People do scope people out.
01:23:10.000 It doesn't happen that often.
01:23:11.000 Well, what's really going on, man, is that there's so many fucking people on this planet, you're hearing about so many different violent acts.
01:23:18.000 Even in bad neighborhoods, violent acts are fairly rare.
01:23:22.000 You know?
01:23:22.000 I mean, there might be a million people and one of them gets shot a day.
01:23:25.000 It sucks.
01:23:26.000 It's a one in a million.
01:23:27.000 That's it.
01:23:27.000 It's not a lot.
01:23:29.000 I mean, it's not a little, you know, when you think about it that way.
01:23:32.000 It sucks that this is the society we live in, man.
01:23:34.000 This is where we've hit upon in the multiverse.
01:23:36.000 Because, like, think of all the other things that people could break into your house and do.
01:23:39.000 Like, what a great dimension where, like, Well, what if you don't want a random blowjob from a hot chick?
01:23:48.000 What if you're trying to, like, control your sperm and you're on this Dalai Lama-type journey and some hot chick breaks into his house and sucks his dick and ruins his whole spiritual journey?
01:23:57.000 Yeah, what if you turn into a zombie?
01:23:58.000 Like, anyone's not going to want a blowjob from a hot chick.
01:24:00.000 He's going to realize that he wasted his whole stupid life dressing up like a genie when he could have been just getting his dick sucked from the get-go.
01:24:07.000 I know!
01:24:09.000 Then that's a good lesson!
01:24:10.000 Yeah, it is a good lesson, but you can't force someone to have a lesson.
01:24:13.000 Well, you can't rape the Dalai Lama.
01:24:15.000 Well, that's what she would be doing.
01:24:16.000 She would be raping the poor guy.
01:24:17.000 She couldn't help herself.
01:24:18.000 She's not suggesting that hot chicks don't rape the Dalai Lama.
01:24:21.000 When a woman that hot starts stroking your cock, you are not even in control.
01:24:25.000 You're not even in control.
01:24:26.000 You're a zombie.
01:24:27.000 You are a DNA zombie.
01:24:29.000 You're just trying to shoot DNA. Brains!
01:24:32.000 You're just trying to shoot loads!
01:24:34.000 Loads!
01:24:35.000 You're just trying to get rid of that ache in your balls.
01:24:38.000 Oh, what a terrible...
01:24:39.000 Poor Dalai Lama.
01:24:40.000 The whole guy's...
01:24:41.000 He's a single, sort of pudgy, weird kind of Asian character who has a lot of really famous friends.
01:24:47.000 You know, he's kind of a name dropper.
01:24:49.000 Always hanging out with Richard Gere.
01:24:52.000 I'm not dissing him at all.
01:24:53.000 I'm just being honest about what he looks like.
01:24:55.000 You know what would be awesome?
01:24:56.000 I mean, that would rock his fucking world if some Megan Fox-looking chick came in and started sucking his cock.
01:25:01.000 What would be awesome is that the Dalai Lama fired back at you.
01:25:04.000 Whoa, you got mad at me?
01:25:05.000 I don't mean any disrespect to the Dalai Lama.
01:25:08.000 He's like, yo, fuck you, Joe Rogan.
01:25:09.000 Whoa, that would be crazy.
01:25:10.000 If I was the first guy that the Dalai Lama told to go fuck himself, I'd be like, wow, I must be a dick.
01:25:15.000 I'm sure he's a great guy, and I don't think there's anything wrong with doing life the way he's doing.
01:25:19.000 I just think it's, when I look at his life in comparison to a life that I would find interesting, I'm like, come on, man.
01:25:26.000 You don't want to have a wife or a girlfriend?
01:25:28.000 You don't want to have sex?
01:25:30.000 You don't want to, like, really?
01:25:31.000 You don't want to engage in, like, fun things?
01:25:34.000 Really?
01:25:35.000 Is it really too much of an effort to have a relationship or can it be managed and you're just a lazy bitch and you can't figure out how to manage your own life and manage your own relationships in a way that you would attract someone who would also have sort of a harmonious relationship with you?
01:25:52.000 You know, for some people that's like too much work to try to get their own shit together to attract someone.
01:25:57.000 So, I mean, it's like a real complicated formula.
01:25:59.000 So to say, oh, that's too much work, I think you miss out on a big part of what it is to be a human being.
01:26:06.000 He obviously has compassionate relationships with people, where he's friends with them, he communicates with them.
01:26:10.000 But to not be exchanging affection, in my opinion, is just this massive misunderstanding of the joy of life.
01:26:18.000 Right.
01:26:19.000 Sex with someone you love that you're really attracted to is one of the most intense physical experiences and beautiful experiences a person can ever have.
01:26:29.000 It really is.
01:26:30.000 It's intense.
01:26:31.000 It's a beautiful, intense experience that cannot be recreated in a solo environment.
01:26:36.000 Well, this is the thing.
01:26:39.000 These are things that are impossible to answer because I only read about them.
01:26:44.000 I don't know if it's true or not.
01:26:46.000 But I think a lot of people who become hermits and leave society, of all the people who leave society and become a monk, Go and become a hermit, go into the woods and vanish from life.
01:26:58.000 Of all those people, probably a big percentage of them are doing it as an escape mechanism.
01:27:03.000 But I bet there's a small percentage in them that have heard of these peaks that you can climb to and consciousness that certain things will get in the way of getting to those peaks.
01:27:16.000 It's not impossible, but it's kind of like, you know, there's a lot of different paths through the forest.
01:27:21.000 Some of them are more difficult than others, and some of them are, especially when you've got the complication of a wife and children, you can't go through some of the forms of discipline that apparently are required To hit a transcendent experience that a lot of people, many, many, many, many people have written about.
01:27:41.000 You know what I mean?
01:27:41.000 So I think there is a small group of people who really authentically are just like, I want to fucking go for it.
01:27:47.000 I want to see how far I can go into this.
01:27:51.000 Is there enlightenment?
01:27:52.000 Is there this state of Um, higher awareness that you can get through meditation.
01:27:57.000 I want to do that.
01:27:58.000 And that, you know, the prescription for some of these things is to fucking meditate for years straight.
01:28:03.000 Yeah.
01:28:04.000 You know, you can't do that with fucking kids.
01:28:05.000 You can't do that with a, you can't do that with a job.
01:28:08.000 You can't do it with the normal complications of society.
01:28:11.000 So you got to go out into the out into the fucking cave to do it.
01:28:16.000 It's amazing.
01:28:16.000 When you really stop and think about it, it's like any other discipline.
01:28:23.000 In order to really take it to the highest level, you have to devote all of your time to it.
01:28:27.000 That's it.
01:28:28.000 And managing the mind and managing the deep recesses of your consciousness and increasing the brain's ability to focus on certain tasks and things.
01:28:37.000 They've shown that meditation directly changes the way the brain works.
01:28:42.000 Oh yeah, dude.
01:28:43.000 You know?
01:28:44.000 It's the, the, the, the, the, the, those, um, what, what, what vision is it, what they use when they're doing, like, cross sections of the brain during any sort of a neural activity.
01:28:54.000 CAT scans?
01:28:55.000 I don't know if it's a CAT scan.
01:28:56.000 Whatever it is, they run tests on people and they find out what areas of the brain are affected.
01:29:01.000 They have remarkable minds.
01:29:03.000 People that meditate, like Buddhist monks, they've literally developed a different sort of a brain.
01:29:10.000 Dude, I don't think my brain's changed, but one of my favorite parts of the day, I wake up in the morning and chant.
01:29:15.000 I fucking love it, dude.
01:29:17.000 And I'll tell you, I'll wake up with my brain squirming with shit thoughts and anxious sometimes.
01:29:23.000 Maybe I had a bad dream or I'm stressed out about something.
01:29:27.000 I'll sit down and fucking meditate.
01:29:29.000 10 minutes, 15 minutes later, it's not gone.
01:29:32.000 I'm not healed, I'm not cured of the thoughts, but now the thoughts aren't on top, they're underneath my will.
01:29:38.000 You know what I mean?
01:29:39.000 And that changes everything for the rest of the day, because now when I'm attacking the different problems and things I have to accomplish, the first thing I'm feeling is this sense of self-control, and underneath it are all the anxieties, instead of approaching your problems with an anxious mind or a turbulent mind.
01:29:56.000 I think managing the mind and putting the mind to good use is just like managing the body and putting the body to good use.
01:30:02.000 And I think the mind can become more athletic.
01:30:05.000 The mind can become more synaptic or more responsive rather synaptically.
01:30:12.000 Yeah, the mind is definitely...
01:30:13.000 Sure.
01:30:14.000 I mean, look, when you write, when you write, don't you notice that if you, like, take time off and write again, you start writing and you feel, like, a little clunky at first.
01:30:21.000 Clunky as fuck.
01:30:21.000 And then after a day or two, you're in the groove, and then...
01:30:24.000 Zooming through.
01:30:25.000 Yeah, and then you get to that...
01:30:26.000 It's like, you have to, like, keep up that sort of shape.
01:30:30.000 Yes.
01:30:30.000 You have to keep up a certain creative shape or, you know, or a mind, you know, a meditative sort of a controlled shape.
01:30:37.000 This is why more people don't meditate and more people...
01:30:43.000 It's boring!
01:30:44.000 It's boring at first!
01:30:46.000 It's boring at first!
01:30:47.000 But after you lose your mind, after you fucking get past the initial thing, the initial boredom of it, it turns into something really incredible.
01:30:58.000 What's the deepest you've ever gotten?
01:30:59.000 Through meditation?
01:31:00.000 Yeah.
01:31:03.000 Man, the deepest I ever got through meditation was...
01:31:06.000 I was super stoned.
01:31:08.000 That does not count.
01:31:09.000 Oh.
01:31:10.000 It's the weirdest.
01:31:11.000 My dear man.
01:31:13.000 Most certainly, Carol.
01:31:21.000 You can get stoned and meditate.
01:31:23.000 Shit, man.
01:31:25.000 It's one of my favorite things to do is to get stoned and meditate.
01:31:28.000 Fuck, that's the best, man.
01:31:29.000 McKenna had this funny story about, or this funny analogy about UFO abductees, is that the real problem with any stories that you ever hear about UFOs is that you have to automatically discount every one of them that involved five grams of mushrooms.
01:31:44.000 Yeah.
01:31:45.000 It's true, too, right?
01:31:47.000 Because, oh, you were tripping, dude.
01:31:49.000 Maybe that's no, but maybe that's how he sees it.
01:31:52.000 Or maybe a lot of different philosophies came from people getting really high.
01:31:58.000 That's that book that I showed you.
01:32:00.000 That cannabis is a very old plant that we've had a relationship with for a long time.
01:32:07.000 And people love to invalidate Things that you thought up when you were stoned.
01:32:11.000 They love to validate states of consciousness you obtain through merging with a plant mother.
01:32:16.000 But I'll tell you man, fucking getting high, chanting and getting high, wow.
01:32:24.000 That's like, now if you want me to like come up with a time when I wasn't stoned and meditating, I could think of a time when I was on the zen retreat sitting and staring at a wall and for like seven hours straight and like definitely there was a shift in consciousness and i was like getting retarded getting confused i take offense at that i really do i was getting confused because i've been staring at a wall for so long i was getting confused about My identity.
01:32:53.000 So it was sort of a consciousness ideal poisoning.
01:32:56.000 Or ideal poisoning.
01:32:57.000 Yeah, it was a bit of a poisoning.
01:32:59.000 You're getting confused about your identity?
01:33:01.000 Well, I was staring at the wall and I knew I was...
01:33:03.000 I mean, they were talking like eight hours of fucking meditating, man.
01:33:06.000 Just staring at a wall with your eyes open?
01:33:08.000 Yeah, with your eyes open.
01:33:10.000 You're just kind of going in and out of like...
01:33:12.000 You don't ever close your eyes?
01:33:14.000 No, technically you're not supposed to.
01:33:16.000 This is why in the Zen temples in Japan where people really take it seriously, people walk around with fucking rods.
01:33:23.000 And the moment a monk starts nodding off, they get a nice fucking rod right on their shoulder.
01:33:29.000 Wow.
01:33:30.000 Whack!
01:33:31.000 Wake your ass up!
01:33:32.000 Whack!
01:33:33.000 Wow.
01:33:34.000 They don't want lazy monks.
01:33:36.000 No, they want you there in the moment.
01:33:39.000 What are they trying to accomplish?
01:33:41.000 Are they going to make an army of super psychics?
01:33:43.000 Super psychics.
01:33:45.000 Can you imagine if that's what it is?
01:33:46.000 That's the only way to become a real warrior?
01:33:49.000 They could become a psychic warrior?
01:33:50.000 Well, this is the fucking crazy thing, man.
01:33:53.000 What's a Zen monk trying to accomplish?
01:33:55.000 The answer to that?
01:33:56.000 Nothing.
01:33:57.000 It's like a co-answer.
01:34:01.000 But other people who don't have such lofty ideals to merge with the nothingness, these people are trying to accomplish things.
01:34:09.000 And I believe the name of these superpowers or magical traits that you get from disciplining the will are called cities, S-I-D-D-H-I-S. Cities of consciousness.
01:34:19.000 Yeah, and these are like the ability, if you start focusing, you know, I would even say that in some weird way, stand-up comedy is a form of city in the sense that you're able to get in front of a group of people and make them fucking laugh.
01:34:33.000 I laugh.
01:34:33.000 And it takes a long time to develop.
01:34:35.000 It's a discipline that takes a long time to develop.
01:34:38.000 And you get this skill that's kind of abnormal that some people aren't able to do.
01:34:42.000 You know what I mean?
01:34:43.000 It doesn't have to be reading someone's mind.
01:34:45.000 It doesn't have to be levitating or walking through a wall.
01:34:48.000 It's just like, shit, man.
01:34:49.000 When I watch the fucking UFC and see somebody do a flying leg kick into someone's head, that's magic to me.
01:34:56.000 That's a magical fucking thing.
01:34:57.000 The fact that that guy can do that...
01:35:00.000 It's very acrobatic.
01:35:01.000 It's acrobatic.
01:35:02.000 These fucking assholes, not they're not really assholes, but when you see them getting their backflip contact, these guys throw a fucking backflip like it's nothing.
01:35:09.000 Yeah, and this is after fighting for three rounds.
01:35:12.000 After getting, yeah.
01:35:13.000 Wailing on each other for three rounds.
01:35:14.000 And if the backflip doesn't land and you fall, that's going to be played on the internet.
01:35:18.000 Definitely.
01:35:19.000 So the risk involved in that backflip It's super extreme, man.
01:35:23.000 So to me, that's also...
01:35:25.000 It's not real magic in the sense it's explainable, but it's like...
01:35:29.000 I think that people can develop other forms of this.
01:35:35.000 And the other forms of it...
01:35:36.000 I don't want to use the term telepathy, but maybe people get really good at reading micro gestures or micro movements in someone's face and recognizing when they're telling the truth or when they're telling a lot.
01:35:47.000 Fuck, man.
01:35:47.000 Just someone who's really focused...
01:35:49.000 And sitting and listening to you and looking you in the eye in a really focused way, that's unnerving sometimes when someone's got real fucking focus.
01:35:58.000 Because most people don't.
01:35:59.000 Most people are scattered.
01:36:01.000 They're scattered to the fucking winds, man.
01:36:03.000 They can barely listen to you for four minutes without fading out or checking their phone or fucking...
01:36:08.000 You know what I mean?
01:36:09.000 So will itself, just the ability to draw your senses in and focus on the moment, that's a pretty potent thing to be able to...
01:36:16.000 To do and you're not going to get that from playing video games.
01:36:20.000 You're not going to get that from getting drunk all the time.
01:36:23.000 You're not going to get that from fucking all the time.
01:36:25.000 You're going to get that from stopping the show, sitting down, crossing your legs, taking a breath and not moving for 10 minutes and watch your mind freak the fuck out.
01:36:38.000 Your mind will turn into a cat That you're trying to put in the bathtub.
01:36:42.000 Your mind will just start wriggling, squirming, warming.
01:36:45.000 Hey, what are you doing?
01:36:46.000 That's almost the first thing.
01:36:47.000 It's like, come on, what are you fucking doing here?
01:36:49.000 What are you sitting here not moving for?
01:36:50.000 What is this?
01:36:51.000 Who do you think you are?
01:36:51.000 You think you're fucking Gandhi?
01:36:53.000 What do you think you're doing?
01:36:53.000 Really, you're going to do this?
01:36:54.000 And then that, if you overcome that, then that'll change a little bit.
01:36:57.000 And all of a sudden, you'll start relaxing a little bit.
01:36:59.000 Your body will relax.
01:37:00.000 And all of a sudden, it's like, oh shit, man.
01:37:02.000 I didn't put that fucking candle out in the other room.
01:37:04.000 I should go put that candle out in the other room.
01:37:06.000 I think I'll have the candle burning in the other room.
01:37:08.000 And then you just breathe through that, and then it's going to be, oh fuck, I gotta call Jack!
01:37:11.000 I forgot to call Jack!
01:37:12.000 It's all these moments trying to take you away, and it's almost like your mind has set all these infinite That will keep you from getting in this state of stillness.
01:37:21.000 But eventually, the more you do that, the more your mind will begin to be in the moment and not be in a place of expectation and not be waiting for the meditation to end and not be thinking about how cool it is that you're meditating or how dumb it is that you're meditating.
01:37:34.000 Something else kicks in.
01:37:35.000 That thing.
01:37:36.000 That fucking thing, man.
01:37:38.000 That's the thing that I think people are trying to extend through their entire lifetime.
01:37:42.000 It's just that state of being present in the moment with no goal for what's going to happen, not caring about what happened.
01:37:50.000 You know, it's just a difficult place to get to.
01:37:52.000 Yeah, and you don't always want to be there either.
01:37:55.000 You don't want to be there all day.
01:37:56.000 Because you have to live with humans.
01:37:58.000 And if you're going to live completely in that total zen state, I guess you could do it Ram Dass style and just go video conferencing with people all day online.
01:38:06.000 But if you want to actually try to make a living...
01:38:07.000 No, the Ram Dass style is really interesting because the Ram Dass style doesn't have ethics attached to it, man.
01:38:12.000 That guy fucking talks about going and eating like...
01:38:16.000 Going into a fucking restaurant and ordering a steak.
01:38:19.000 Really?
01:38:19.000 Yeah, fuck yeah, man.
01:38:20.000 He eats steak?
01:38:21.000 He did in this story.
01:38:22.000 I don't know if he continues to eat meat, but it's like, his whole thing is like, listen, man, it's not...
01:38:26.000 What we're going for here isn't fake.
01:38:30.000 A fake imposition.
01:38:32.000 What we're going for is this being in the flow of life.
01:38:37.000 Being in the moment.
01:38:38.000 And sometimes that means hell of a fucking cheeseburger.
01:38:40.000 Sometimes eat that burger.
01:38:41.000 Sometimes it means fucking...
01:38:42.000 You know, get your cock sucked.
01:38:45.000 Sometimes, you know what I mean?
01:38:47.000 Sometimes it means fuck.
01:38:48.000 The way you said that was so southern.
01:38:49.000 Get your cock sucked!
01:38:50.000 Get your cock sucked, boy!
01:38:51.000 Also, North Carolina.
01:38:52.000 Go in my sister's room and get your cock sucked.
01:38:55.000 I love my southern accent does come out sometimes, but yeah, man.
01:39:00.000 This state of being in the moment doesn't mean...
01:39:04.000 Right, but don't you have some sort of an ethical responsibility for animal cruelty and the pollution of the environment and all the different variables that really, even though you have no control over, you are a part of society and contribute to the problem by continuing support.
01:39:19.000 This is what I think about that.
01:39:21.000 I call this what you're saying.
01:39:22.000 I consider it the starving kid in Africa.
01:39:24.000 The starving kid in Africa has stopped many, many people from experimenting with bringing their will into the world because they think, yeah, what about the fucking starving kid in Africa?
01:39:34.000 What about the macro?
01:39:36.000 What about the eating meat hurts animals?
01:39:39.000 The bigger picture.
01:39:41.000 I think that that is a very valid thing to think about.
01:39:45.000 But I think the first thing to think about before you start thinking about the bigger picture is your little picture.
01:39:50.000 It's thinking about how are you treating the people around you?
01:39:54.000 What living condition are you in?
01:39:56.000 Are you healthy?
01:39:58.000 Are you exercising?
01:39:59.000 First deal with that.
01:40:00.000 Deal with that and then worry about the fucking kid in Africa.
01:40:03.000 First deal with that thing and you'll get your focus back.
01:40:09.000 Come out of autopilot first, because your ego will tell you, like, look, man, we've got to think about the big picture here.
01:40:15.000 The ego always wants to think about the big fucking picture.
01:40:17.000 The ego always wants to think about, like, the ego is messianic.
01:40:21.000 The ego wants to be Jesus.
01:40:23.000 The ego wants to heal the world, or the ego wants to fucking do all this crazy shit.
01:40:27.000 Meanwhile, you're fucking smoking cigarettes.
01:40:29.000 Your apartment smells like cat litter.
01:40:31.000 Your balls are fucking festering with crab lice.
01:40:34.000 You know what I mean?
01:40:36.000 You know what I mean?
01:40:37.000 You gotta fucking think about the fucking moment.
01:40:39.000 You gotta think about the moment.
01:40:41.000 Yeah, we were talking about a dude who was screaming and yelling about chemtrails while he was smoking cigarettes.
01:40:45.000 Yeah!
01:40:46.000 It's like, what you're doing has gotta be worse than what they're doing by spraying you.
01:40:51.000 Absolutely, man.
01:40:52.000 This, I think, is the recipe for a true revolution.
01:40:58.000 The recipe for a true revolution does not involve going out into the world and trying to attack these ancient, powerful, monolithic structures by throwing Molotov cocktails at them.
01:41:08.000 It fucking involves stopping, looking at the way you're treating the people directly around you.
01:41:16.000 How do you treat waiters?
01:41:17.000 How do you treat people at the cash register?
01:41:20.000 How do you treat people That you have power over.
01:41:23.000 Even if the power is illusionary and it's just a game.
01:41:25.000 Because when you're with a waiter, you're playing the game of someone being served.
01:41:28.000 They're playing the game of the server.
01:41:30.000 You're just fucking people.
01:41:31.000 Right.
01:41:31.000 But you start looking, how am I treating the people around?
01:41:34.000 First, you start looking, how am I treating myself?
01:41:36.000 That's the number one thing.
01:41:37.000 Yeah, that is the number one thing.
01:41:38.000 Look at yourself.
01:41:39.000 Are you being ecstatic to yourself?
01:41:41.000 Are you being sweet to yourself?
01:41:42.000 Are you taking vitamins?
01:41:43.000 Are you being cruel to yourself?
01:41:45.000 Are you poisoning yourself?
01:41:46.000 Are you shoving poison into your bodies?
01:41:48.000 First, bodies.
01:41:49.000 Body.
01:41:50.000 First deal with that.
01:41:52.000 Then, once you start feeling good and healthy again, the depression will start wearing off and then you start looking at the way you're treating people around you.
01:41:58.000 Then you start tipping too much.
01:42:00.000 This is something you taught me, man.
01:42:01.000 I don't want to go all fucking secret on everybody's ass here, but ever since I started tipping too much, Fucking more money than I've ever made has been coming into my life, dude.
01:42:11.000 And I feel like there's some kind of, like, direct correlation between how much you put out and how much comes back to you.
01:42:18.000 I mean, it's possible.
01:42:19.000 It's also possible that it just came in a coincidental time to when you started making money and could tip because you had some momentum running your way.
01:42:28.000 Dude, I'll tell you one number one quality.
01:42:30.000 It doesn't hurt, though.
01:42:31.000 I'll tell you one quality that I always have when I'm broke.
01:42:34.000 You know what that fucking quality is?
01:42:37.000 Selfishness.
01:42:37.000 I always will look at the way I'm acting, it's always very fucking selfish.
01:42:41.000 It's always survival mode, and I gotta look out for me!
01:42:44.000 You know what I mean?
01:42:45.000 There's a fucking verse in the...
01:42:46.000 I don't know, I always quote the fucking Bible, I am not a Christian, but there's a verse in the New Testament that had always perplexed me.
01:42:53.000 It was something like, those who have will get more, and those who have not, more will be taken away.
01:42:59.000 And the idea is like this sense of like, this, it doesn't make sense.
01:43:03.000 It doesn't go the way we've been taught.
01:43:05.000 It doesn't make sense that if you give out more than you have, you'll get more back.
01:43:11.000 Well, I don't know if it's more than you have.
01:43:13.000 I think you just have to be generous.
01:43:15.000 Give more than you have.
01:43:16.000 More than you have.
01:43:17.000 How can you give more than you have?
01:43:18.000 have my children It's like saying, I'm going to try a hundred percent, ten percent.
01:43:29.000 You can't.
01:43:29.000 I know, you're right.
01:43:30.000 I'm going to give a hundred and ten percent.
01:43:31.000 No, you're not.
01:43:32.000 You know what it is, man?
01:43:33.000 It's like the church had this idea.
01:43:37.000 And the idea was tithing, right?
01:43:38.000 And the idea was give ten percent of your income to the church, right?
01:43:42.000 Because the church will deal with giving the money out.
01:43:46.000 Now, I think that this is based on a metaphysical principle.
01:43:49.000 I think it's based on a metaphysical principle, which is that if you give out...
01:43:54.000 I think we may have talked about this before, but imagine if you cut out 10% of your income and just put it in a pile and made the decision that that 10%, you're going to just fucking give to people who need it.
01:44:06.000 You're just going to give it to help people.
01:44:08.000 You're going to use it to help people.
01:44:10.000 That's 10% of your income is going out into the world to help people.
01:44:12.000 That would be your favorite money.
01:44:15.000 That fucking 10%.
01:44:16.000 Like on a Saturday, if you get to go into that account, you'd be like, fuck man, I'm going to buy my friend an Xbox.
01:44:22.000 Just because.
01:44:23.000 Because that's coming out of the 10%.
01:44:25.000 That's a cool thing.
01:44:26.000 That's a good idea, man.
01:44:27.000 Everybody thinks it's like, oh, I'm going to go give a ham sandwich to a heroin addict.
01:44:31.000 No!
01:44:32.000 Go fucking surprise your friend.
01:44:33.000 Take him out to dinner and then fucking buy dinner when they didn't expect it.
01:44:38.000 Take one of your friends out who doesn't have a lot of money right now and do something really cool for them when they don't expect it and don't act like they owe you.
01:44:45.000 Just be like, no, dude, I just thought it would be fun.
01:44:46.000 That's fun!
01:44:48.000 That's tithing, if you ask me, instead of letting the church be in control of it.
01:44:52.000 Well, the problem with the church is always going to be, like, who are they?
01:44:55.000 They're just people, man.
01:44:57.000 They're not really representing God.
01:44:58.000 So if you've got a good church, you can work out well.
01:45:00.000 There's a lot of churches that do a lot of great stuff for the community.
01:45:03.000 There's a lot of churches that keep people together.
01:45:05.000 There's a lot of people out there, dude, they haven't thought too much about the world.
01:45:10.000 They haven't thought too much about the complexities of the various different things that we do understand about the world.
01:45:16.000 Subatomic particles interacting with each other across the universe at the exact same time.
01:45:22.000 Communication through subatomic particles, particles that are in both a superposition where they're in a state of both standing and moving at the same time.
01:45:31.000 There's just too much craziness going on in the world.
01:45:34.000 And there's not enough curiosity.
01:45:36.000 And that combination of that and their culture and whatever the fuck their genetic imprint was, whatever 9-volt battery that they were born with, all that combined, some people need religion, man.
01:45:48.000 Some people it's like a super beneficial tool.
01:45:50.000 I don't deny it.
01:45:53.000 Look, essentially what Christianity is supposed to be is supposed to be somewhat about being positive, about representing God, living life by God's standards.
01:46:02.000 Well, if you look at what God's standards are sort of vaguely, and you take out the stories about killing people that he tells you to kill, and what happens if you're a gay dude, and, you know...
01:46:11.000 Jesus doesn't say any of that.
01:46:12.000 Jesus doesn't say any of that, but it's in the Bible.
01:46:15.000 It's supposed to be...
01:46:15.000 If the Bible's supposed to represent the Word of God, if it is really...
01:46:19.000 Well, this is the shit talk that the fucking loon-loon disciples say.
01:46:22.000 Right.
01:46:23.000 You can't just follow what Christ said.
01:46:25.000 You gotta follow everything in that old, sweet old book.
01:46:29.000 But ultimately, when it comes down to a church, though, it really depends on who's running the church.
01:46:33.000 Like, the church could be a great asset to a community and a good place where people learn to be good people.
01:46:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:46:38.000 Or it could be fucking craziness if you wind up in a church where, you know, the priests are fucking kids and the whole thing's chaos and...
01:46:47.000 I'll tell you, you know where I got a lot of info from, man?
01:46:50.000 I got a big download from when I used to go to Agape Church with Reverend Michael Beckwith.
01:46:56.000 I would fucking go there and that guy would blast positivity.
01:46:59.000 You would go there and get, you would walk out of there feeling so fucking great, man.
01:47:03.000 What is his denomination?
01:47:05.000 I don't know the name of the denomination, but they're into this book called The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes, which is like this idea that you create your own reality by the thoughts that you think.
01:47:17.000 And it's that mixed in with all the world religions, mixed in with like...
01:47:24.000 Kind of like, I mean listen man, it's a big church and I'm not saying every moment of the ceremony wasn't slightly embarrassing and I'm not saying that there are not people there dressed in like baggy, big baggy pants and wearing sandals and have really gone deep into fruit land.
01:47:41.000 I'm not saying that that didn't happen, but that church, man, some of the information I got out of there, it was fucking really high-tech information.
01:47:50.000 I'll tell you something else that happened to me there, and I'm sure I'm gonna get fucking made fun of for this, but I'll tell you, man, I had a fucking terrible...
01:47:56.000 I'd throw my back out.
01:47:58.000 Throw my fucking back out and couldn't move my fucking neck.
01:48:01.000 And I was, like, fucked up and in a lot of pain.
01:48:04.000 And I'm standing there...
01:48:06.000 Oh my god, there's a song you sing that we're singing this song?
01:48:09.000 And this fucking guy behind me...
01:48:11.000 Started giving you a back rub and grabbing your shaft.
01:48:14.000 I knew it would come!
01:48:15.000 At least let me finish the story!
01:48:17.000 Let me finish the story before you attack.
01:48:20.000 The fucking...
01:48:20.000 You gotta let me finish the story.
01:48:22.000 It didn't lay into me.
01:48:24.000 Here's the fucking story.
01:48:26.000 Listen, I knew this was coming.
01:48:27.000 I knew there was no way I could tell you this.
01:48:29.000 Sorry.
01:48:30.000 I'm a child.
01:48:31.000 This guy...
01:48:31.000 I think it's funny.
01:48:32.000 If this guy touches my back...
01:48:35.000 And, dude, instantly I felt fucking better.
01:48:38.000 Instantly.
01:48:39.000 Everything went away.
01:48:40.000 My back felt better.
01:48:41.000 Everything was...
01:48:41.000 Ladies and gentlemen, remember what I said yesterday about disinformation agents?
01:48:45.000 Duncan clearly just exposed himself as a government agent.
01:48:49.000 An agent of disinfo.
01:48:50.000 Shut up!
01:48:51.000 He says all this brilliant shit, and then he incorporates some vacuum magic touches.
01:48:56.000 This motherfucker is doing Christian healing.
01:48:59.000 Listen, I can only report from my own experience.
01:49:02.000 What about praying the gay away?
01:49:03.000 Have you ever seen anybody successfully pray the gay away?
01:49:07.000 No.
01:49:08.000 Have you ever seen someone try?
01:49:10.000 No.
01:49:11.000 No.
01:49:11.000 Okay.
01:49:12.000 I haven't seen anyone fucking pray the gay away, Joe.
01:49:16.000 But it's not the same thing.
01:49:18.000 It's not the same thing as a guy coming up and touching you and healing your back?
01:49:20.000 He didn't come up.
01:49:22.000 He was...
01:49:23.000 I'm standing there.
01:49:24.000 It's a magical touch.
01:49:26.000 It healed your back.
01:49:27.000 Why would I bring this up?
01:49:28.000 You silly bitch.
01:49:30.000 Why did you give me this?
01:49:33.000 I can't leave this alone.
01:49:35.000 This is ridiculous.
01:49:36.000 So some guy came up and his desire to stick his penis inside your asshole was so strong that as he touched your back, the jolt just realigned your back because your back knew that it had to fight to survive.
01:49:48.000 You felt the love and lust of this man's fingertips.
01:49:51.000 Because Daryl healed me.
01:49:55.000 Did Darryl have flannel underwear on?
01:49:57.000 He wasn't wearing underwear that day.
01:49:59.000 Whoa!
01:50:01.000 Look, I, I, I, I... Just rock, cock, and zipper.
01:50:05.000 I'm dangerous.
01:50:06.000 Listen, I know it's not...
01:50:06.000 Rock, cock, pressed up against the cold metal of the zipper.
01:50:09.000 I can't believe that you're turning me.
01:50:14.000 He just touched his back.
01:50:15.000 The gay came out of his hand like a lightning bolt.
01:50:18.000 He was like one of the Avengers.
01:50:20.000 The gay came out of his hand into your back and just popped your back into order.
01:50:24.000 Listen, this is exactly what Jesus said.
01:50:27.000 They'll persecute you.
01:50:28.000 I'm being persecuted.
01:50:29.000 You know what?
01:50:30.000 This is religious persecution.
01:50:32.000 Yes, it is.
01:50:33.000 Absolutely.
01:50:34.000 Absolutely.
01:50:35.000 That guy prayed.
01:50:35.000 He got out of it.
01:50:41.000 He couldn't help himself.
01:50:43.000 You were sexy.
01:50:44.000 You were slightly slumped.
01:50:46.000 Leaning to one side.
01:50:47.000 Looked like you had a hurt knee maybe.
01:50:49.000 Perhaps even limping.
01:50:50.000 I'm trying to remember the song that we sang there just so I could give you more.
01:50:53.000 You've got to pray the gateway.
01:50:55.000 Pray the gateway.
01:50:57.000 Pray the gateway.
01:50:58.000 No way.
01:50:58.000 I'll sing it.
01:50:59.000 I'll sing it, dude.
01:50:59.000 I'm going to give you more.
01:51:00.000 Okay.
01:51:01.000 More fucking ammo.
01:51:02.000 Okay.
01:51:03.000 I release and I let go.
01:51:07.000 Let God's power something my life.
01:51:12.000 I can't remember.
01:51:13.000 And they would just sing this over and over again?
01:51:14.000 And everybody was really getting into it?
01:51:16.000 Yeah, and people would go up and down the aisles with Kleenex because people would start crying.
01:51:21.000 It was like...
01:51:22.000 But, you know, I've learned to not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
01:51:28.000 And so, like, a lot of the stuff, yeah, I don't know if I necessarily was, like, you know, fully on board, but I got some good information from there, man.
01:51:37.000 There was, like, some really...
01:51:38.000 The shit that he talked about was...
01:51:41.000 This concept of being able to like, you decide when it's time to be happy.
01:51:48.000 You decide to not be a victim.
01:51:49.000 You decide to pull yourself out of the negative mire that you're in and you can just do it.
01:51:53.000 You don't have to come up with excuses.
01:51:55.000 You don't have to go to the fucking mountains and meditate forever.
01:51:59.000 You don't have to.
01:51:59.000 You can just stop being a victim right away.
01:52:02.000 And the moment you do that, your life will become a million times better.
01:52:07.000 Everything else will follow from there.
01:52:09.000 You'll start treating people around you better, and when you start treating people around you better, you're going to get more prosperity.
01:52:15.000 Because if you're treating people around you like shit, you're cutting off all these currents and circuits that...
01:52:22.000 Well, any interaction you have with someone that ends up in a negative, a negative on their side or a negative on your side, it's going to leave you with a little bit of a deficit.
01:52:30.000 For sure.
01:52:31.000 You know, it's not a good feeling.
01:52:32.000 It's not a good feeling when someone's upset at you.
01:52:34.000 No, it sucks.
01:52:35.000 It sucks.
01:52:36.000 It fucking sucks.
01:52:37.000 And you don't realize how much of an impact Your words or your actions can really have until you see them upset someone and then you realize, then it all manifests itself to you.
01:52:48.000 It all shows, and you're like, God damn it, what the fuck was I thinking?
01:52:51.000 I just got so flippant with, you know, being rude or being aggressive or being, you know, adamant or argumentative or whatever it is that causes these blips in the matrix.
01:53:03.000 But sometimes you need to have those in your life just as a reminder.
01:53:06.000 To be careful.
01:53:07.000 I'm not even saying that you should have to have them, but look, I see them in other people and I learn.
01:53:12.000 Well, it's shit ping pong, man.
01:53:14.000 You can get caught up in a long game of shit ping pong with people.
01:53:17.000 And it's like, look, there's no way that you're going to be perfect and there's no way you're going to avoid conflict and there's no way you're going to avoid getting angry.
01:53:31.000 But the main thing is, man, here's the main thing.
01:53:34.000 Forgiveness.
01:53:35.000 And forgiveness, it fucking isn't always fair.
01:53:38.000 That's the thing about forgiveness, dude.
01:53:40.000 It's not always fair.
01:53:42.000 It's not always about who wins or who loses or who's right or who's wrong.
01:53:46.000 Sometimes you just have to be like, look, man, we got fucking blasted out of a pussy.
01:53:50.000 We're plunging towards oblivion.
01:53:53.000 We're in this insane fucking dimension.
01:53:55.000 You freaked out for a second.
01:53:57.000 I freaked out.
01:53:58.000 I forgive you.
01:54:00.000 You win.
01:54:01.000 You know what I mean?
01:54:01.000 You just take that extra fucking step!
01:54:04.000 And you know what that does?
01:54:06.000 That stops the negative energy ball.
01:54:12.000 That's the idea.
01:54:14.000 Right.
01:54:15.000 Are you talking about anyone specific?
01:54:21.000 Yeah.
01:54:21.000 Yeah, man.
01:54:22.000 You know, I already did.
01:54:23.000 Yeah, you already did.
01:54:25.000 For people to know, Brian and Duncan had gotten into an argument.
01:54:30.000 And, you know, it was unfortunate.
01:54:34.000 It was unfortunate on both sides.
01:54:36.000 It was unfortunate that Duncan brought it up in a public setting and sort of blindsided him.
01:54:40.000 And I think you feel that, right?
01:54:42.000 I said it on that last podcast that I did.
01:54:45.000 Here's the real thing I learned from it though, man.
01:54:47.000 This is the thing.
01:54:48.000 You're not going to avoid conflict in a community.
01:54:53.000 That's one thing I learned is we have this little fucking community.
01:54:55.000 But if you had a chance to do it all again, you wouldn't have done it that way.
01:54:59.000 Absolutely not.
01:55:00.000 Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you.
01:55:02.000 You were a little snippy that day anyway, man.
01:55:04.000 You even got snippy with me when I was fucking with you.
01:55:06.000 And I was not being that aggressive, but you seemed like you were a bit testy that day.
01:55:10.000 Yeah, man.
01:55:11.000 I was testy that day.
01:55:12.000 And what happened was, without going into...
01:55:16.000 I hate fucking resurrecting it again because I think that it's like...
01:55:20.000 What made you testy that day?
01:55:22.000 I don't want to talk about that, man.
01:55:24.000 Okay.
01:55:24.000 That's a personal issue.
01:55:25.000 It's a fucking personal issue.
01:55:27.000 You certainly have...
01:55:29.000 It was a family issue, dude.
01:55:30.000 So you were a bit imbalanced.
01:55:31.000 Some shit had gone down yet.
01:55:32.000 But anyway, there's no excuse.
01:55:33.000 I don't fuck.
01:55:34.000 Why was I testy?
01:55:35.000 I was testy because I was not in control of my fucking self.
01:55:38.000 That's why anyone's testy.
01:55:39.000 There's no excuse.
01:55:40.000 People will always come up with excuses for acting like a fucking asshole.
01:55:43.000 It all boils down to like...
01:55:44.000 Handling your own shit.
01:55:46.000 Yeah.
01:55:46.000 Not imposing your own bullshit on other people.
01:55:48.000 Exactly, dude.
01:55:49.000 So what happened is during a podcast in Atlanta with Marshall Childs and the Laughing Skull, I was starting to talk about those videos I made for South by Southwest because I was trying to lead into talking about the Moon Tower Comedy Festival.
01:56:08.000 Right.
01:56:08.000 And for people who don't know, Duncan has been...
01:56:11.000 I'm pretty adamant about, in my opinion, the very correct idea that if you're going to have a festival where you profit off of it and you have comedians perform at your festival, at the very least you have to fly them there.
01:56:26.000 If you want them to work for free, you can't really expect them to fly themselves there.
01:56:31.000 And then when you find out the whole thing is sponsored by an airline, you're like, what?
01:56:35.000 Because they're going to profit by the fact that people have to fly in.
01:56:38.000 The whole thing is crazy.
01:56:39.000 So, you made this video where it was Hitler, and then over Hitler screaming, you had the translation, the Hitler meme, yes.
01:56:48.000 The translation was saying, you know, how preposterous it is.
01:56:52.000 Right.
01:56:52.000 It was just the basic idea, which is that if you charge for, if you have an event centered around comedians, artists, whatever, that couldn't function without the comedians or artists, You have to fairly compensate them.
01:57:05.000 You have to pay them.
01:57:06.000 Pay them a percentage of the door.
01:57:07.000 It doesn't have to be a lot.
01:57:08.000 Give them a little cut.
01:57:09.000 Whether it's a flight, hotel, I don't know, whatever the fuck it is.
01:57:12.000 Just make it fair.
01:57:14.000 So I was starting to talk about that.
01:57:18.000 And then Brian got on the microphone and started talking about how, no, no, no, they pay the performers.
01:57:25.000 Well, he said it was up to the venues.
01:57:28.000 What he was talking about was, as a comedian, you can get sponsorship from other people, like brown paper tickets or other corporations will pay for you to perform at their parties or will in some way fund you.
01:57:42.000 But the festival itself doesn't pay.
01:57:44.000 So, some venues don't pay the artists?
01:57:46.000 Some venues don't decide because they're at a certain place to get paid?
01:57:51.000 Because I've heard that some people have gotten paid by Southwest.
01:57:54.000 Who's getting paid?
01:57:55.000 I have.
01:57:57.000 Actually, the guy, Charlie Sotelo, who runs South by Southwest, when I was at Moontower, we had this same fucking conversation.
01:58:05.000 Right.
01:58:06.000 And, you know, like, he was saying, you know, we don't fucking pay Johnny.
01:58:10.000 We didn't pay Johnny Cash.
01:58:11.000 Whoa.
01:58:12.000 You know what I mean?
01:58:12.000 Like, we don't pay...
01:58:13.000 Yeah, I know.
01:58:13.000 What?
01:58:14.000 You know, like...
01:58:15.000 That's gangster.
01:58:16.000 He was saying we just...
01:58:17.000 Yeah, I know.
01:58:18.000 Johnny Cash to work for you for free.
01:58:19.000 It's fucking gangster.
01:58:20.000 But, so that's the point.
01:58:21.000 I already had this conversation with this guy about this.
01:58:24.000 So, at least from the perspective of the representative of South by Southwest and the comedy side, it told me directly this happened.
01:58:32.000 And then also, as a...
01:58:38.000 Other note, he said, you know, yeah, we do give comics $100, but we don't even talk about it.
01:58:43.000 So, they pay comics $100.
01:58:45.000 That's what I found out.
01:58:46.000 They don't talk about it.
01:58:47.000 Yeah, that's what he said.
01:58:48.000 He said, this is not even something I didn't bring up.
01:58:50.000 Charlie Satello...
01:58:50.000 That's a big secret.
01:58:52.000 By the way, Charlie...
01:58:52.000 Something's wrong when there's a big secret where you're giving a comic $100.
01:58:55.000 Yeah, whatever.
01:58:56.000 So, Charlie Satello seemed like a really nice guy, and I kind of respect him for coming up to me and talking to me about it.
01:59:03.000 I still completely disagree with him.
01:59:04.000 But he came up and he talked to me...
01:59:05.000 Because he had heard your video?
01:59:07.000 Yeah, he's the one who does the comics for South by Southwest.
01:59:11.000 He wasn't angry.
01:59:13.000 He just came up to me and broke it down in his own way from his own paradigm about how it fucking works.
01:59:18.000 And what was his justification for not paying?
01:59:20.000 You get a lot out of the festival as a performer.
01:59:24.000 There's two paradigms.
01:59:25.000 The two paradigms are...
01:59:28.000 People who pay based on a percentage from the door or some other form of like money compensation and people who feel like they're offering a venue and they're offering the benefits that you get from Performing on a show whether it's working out or it's kind of amazing the idea that you know you could have a festival of art and a profitable festival of art and I
02:00:05.000 like to play my own devil's advocate.
02:00:08.000 South by Southwest is an expensive festival, and a lot of people like seeing bands, and some comics like seeing bands, and we're going to go to South by Southwest anyway, so now they don't have to pay the $700 that you would pay to see everything.
02:00:20.000 So there's the justification of that perspective.
02:00:25.000 Have you been?
02:00:25.000 I've never been.
02:00:27.000 But, regardless, I feel- When is it?
02:00:29.000 I don't know.
02:00:31.000 You know what we should do?
02:00:32.000 We should just book the Cap City Comedy Club that week if we can.
02:00:35.000 If it's not already booked.
02:00:37.000 I bet it's already booked.
02:00:38.000 I bet it's something like Doug Benson or someone tries to get a year in advance.
02:00:42.000 That would be really fun.
02:00:43.000 Yeah, because doesn't Doug do all that shit?
02:00:44.000 He goes to all those places.
02:00:46.000 I don't know.
02:00:47.000 Yeah, he's always, he's a wild bachelor character.
02:00:51.000 He's out there slinging dick around the country.
02:00:53.000 That's what I hear.
02:00:54.000 Doing shows on 420 in the afternoon on Saturdays.
02:00:57.000 He's doing what he wants now, man.
02:00:59.000 It's really fascinating how he's got, you know, Doug's got this, you know, this thing where he can show up at like a regular club, like it has a full weekend, and he comes on at 420 in the afternoon, and he does these 420 shows where it's all his fans.
02:01:13.000 What about Side Boob Sunday?
02:01:15.000 How'd that guy manufacture that?
02:01:17.000 Where he gets chicks to send pictures of their side tits?
02:01:20.000 Who's this?
02:01:21.000 Who are you talking about?
02:01:22.000 Doug Benson does that?
02:01:23.000 Hell yeah!
02:01:24.000 He does?
02:01:25.000 I follow him on Twitter.
02:01:25.000 It's the best.
02:01:25.000 Side Boob Sunday?
02:01:26.000 Oh, I didn't see that.
02:01:27.000 People tweet, like, beautiful hippie chicks tweet their, like, profile.
02:01:31.000 Really?
02:01:31.000 Oh, that's beautiful.
02:01:34.000 That's beautiful.
02:01:34.000 It's really funny how you look on Twitter, and some porn girls have, like, pick of the day, and you click on it, and it's them with a giant f***ing dick in their mouth and on their ass, and you're like, whoa!
02:01:44.000 Yeah.
02:01:45.000 Really?
02:01:45.000 Just pick of the day?
02:01:47.000 That's it?
02:01:48.000 No f***ing warning at all?
02:01:50.000 Like, you gotta go, okay, well now I know how she's rocking it.
02:01:52.000 Because some girls don't ever have that in their Twitter.
02:01:55.000 Some strippers might as well be accountants.
02:01:58.000 They might as well be working for Denny's.
02:02:00.000 You know, they just have like, you know, here's today, this is what I did, da-da-da-da-da.
02:02:04.000 But some of those porn girls have, they'll just throw up some wild pictures.
02:02:09.000 You gotta be NSFW. Gotta be careful there, Donnie.
02:02:14.000 NSFW. I love it when people get mad for posting that shit.
02:02:17.000 Not safe for work!
02:02:18.000 I'm gonna put NSFW, man!
02:02:19.000 Well, that work thing.
02:02:21.000 That's what we were talking about earlier.
02:02:22.000 Are we done with the Brian thing?
02:02:23.000 Well, I mean, sort of.
02:02:25.000 I mean, we didn't even really go into it.
02:02:27.000 What happened was, you in this elevated snippy state, I'll just cut to the chase, you called Brian out for something that you believed that he was doing incorrectly with how he was putting on a comedy show.
02:02:38.000 And he defended himself and got very upset at you and couldn't believe that you said it on the air and he was really hurt and stormed out of the room and then, you know, we sort of sat around and talked about the importance of comedians getting paid and whether or not that was the right thing to do and what the real issue is and, you know, there's a side to be had on both men's point of view, Brian's and yours.
02:03:03.000 You know, there's a side to be had on Brian's about the way you presented it, that you did it, and you were in this elevated state, and you were responding to him questioning you in the South by Southwest thing, and you attacked.
02:03:15.000 Some people don't know this, just to make sure people know.
02:03:18.000 I told Marshall not to upload that audio right away.
02:03:22.000 Yeah, I know.
02:03:24.000 You're not trying to make it more than it already is.
02:03:27.000 Right, I didn't want it to be more than that.
02:03:30.000 And Brian is very upset about it, and his side of it is that he did pay some people, and that there's a lot of expenses, and that he had to pay for taxes, and he's paying for the rent to keep that place open, and to be honest, he probably bit off more than he could chew,
02:03:46.000 and he didn't realize how much was involved in not just putting on a podcast where you're just being the producer of the podcast, but also running a comedy show at the same time, calling people, booking it, having the comedians show up, putting together a flyer, trying to get people to come, tweeting it, making a big deal.
02:04:03.000 It's more involved.
02:04:04.000 Like those guys that do comedy juice or something like that, there's a lot of work involved in that.
02:04:09.000 There's mailing lists.
02:04:10.000 I get their mailing lists all the time, and they're constantly emailing me all the time asking me to come and perform.
02:04:16.000 It's a business for these guys.
02:04:18.000 They're trying to...
02:04:19.000 There's a lot of work behind it.
02:04:21.000 I think it got away from him, and he's corrected it.
02:04:23.000 And he's corrected it now, and because of this confrontation, the good that's come out of it is that the money situation has been taken completely out of his hands, so he doesn't have to worry about it anymore.
02:04:33.000 Which is cool.
02:04:33.000 Yeah, which is cool.
02:04:34.000 And the shows can still pay for the rent there.
02:04:37.000 Yeah, here's what's not cool.
02:04:38.000 And this is the thing it taught me.
02:04:40.000 Because I've been seeing this in the positive, thankfully, in my life, mostly.
02:04:45.000 But what happened was, even though it didn't get uploaded at the time, it could have.
02:04:51.000 Marshall could have been like, fuck that.
02:04:52.000 I'm not deleting that.
02:04:53.000 That's good.
02:04:54.000 That'll get traffic.
02:04:55.000 That's good.
02:04:55.000 He could have been an asshole.
02:04:57.000 I didn't know I was totally wrong.
02:04:58.000 Shouldn't have brought it up in a public way.
02:05:01.000 I shouldn't have brought it up in a public way.
02:05:02.000 I was totally fucking...
02:05:04.000 Wrong.
02:05:04.000 Even if I felt like Brian confronting me about South by Southwest was wrong, what I did was...
02:05:10.000 So if Brian was throwing a negative energy ball my way, I grabbed that negative energy ball.
02:05:16.000 And tried to stuff it down his throat.
02:05:17.000 And I expanded it and tried to stuff it down his throat out of anger.
02:05:20.000 I didn't feel good.
02:05:20.000 I was angry, right?
02:05:21.000 Right.
02:05:22.000 And so then Brian got mad.
02:05:24.000 And then the energy ball, he exponentially increased the energy ball by having a blowout and saying, fuck Duncan Trussell, over and over.
02:05:33.000 He doesn't do well when criticized anyway, but when criticized like that in a very confrontational manner on a podcast, it's very upsetting for him.
02:05:41.000 Right.
02:05:41.000 But, you know, he didn't react to.
02:05:44.000 There was a...
02:05:45.000 It was bad reactions on both sides.
02:05:47.000 Neither one of you guys reacted admirably.
02:05:49.000 You know, if you wanted to look back at yourself and how that whole thing went down, you know, where you're going back and forth at each other, where you, you know...
02:05:55.000 I didn't go...
02:05:56.000 That's the thing, man.
02:05:57.000 I went back...
02:05:57.000 I went back at him once, and then I apologized on my podcast.
02:06:02.000 And I guess I'm apologizing...
02:06:03.000 Yeah, but you...
02:06:04.000 The initial words that you used were very confrontational.
02:06:08.000 In Atlanta?
02:06:09.000 Yes.
02:06:09.000 Yes!
02:06:10.000 But then...
02:06:10.000 How you launched it off, you used the words ripping off comedians.
02:06:15.000 No, I didn't say ripping off, I said robbing.
02:06:17.000 I said robbing, even worse.
02:06:19.000 I said he's robbing comedians, and that's the fucking wrong word for not paying people.
02:06:23.000 When you go back and you listen to it, what do you get out of it?
02:06:26.000 Have you listened to it?
02:06:27.000 No, I don't want to fucking listen to it because it's anger, man.
02:06:30.000 It's just anger.
02:06:31.000 I can only own my side of the street.
02:06:33.000 My side of the street, when I attacked him, I was pissed.
02:06:38.000 You were pissed because you felt that he was incorrectly correcting you and that he was putting his two cents in into an argument that you have that's a very...
02:06:45.000 Big one.
02:06:46.000 It's not just about South by Southwest, but it's about a lot of other organizations that don't pay the performance.
02:06:51.000 Exactly.
02:06:51.000 And I think that the tides are shifting now, and I think that that paradigm where you charge money for a show and don't pay the comics is going to hopefully be gone permanently.
02:07:02.000 Because what I really liked about the South by Southwest video I think it encouraged some comedians to start speaking up.
02:07:11.000 And I think artists are very afraid of confrontation and are afraid of speaking up about things that are obviously right.
02:07:19.000 There's a time to speak up and there's a time to not speak up.
02:07:23.000 And I think with Brian, when I Uh, said you're robbing comics.
02:07:30.000 That wasn't coming out of some altruistic, you know, uh, state of wanting to, like, be Gandhi and help fucking comics.
02:07:38.000 That was coming as like, oh, you slap me, I'm gonna slap you back.
02:07:41.000 Exactly.
02:07:41.000 And so, that's wrong.
02:07:43.000 That's wrong action.
02:07:44.000 That's not skillful.
02:07:46.000 That's bad.
02:07:47.000 And so, I went on my podcast, and I, uh, and I apologize.
02:07:50.000 And I, uh, admitted that that was wrong.
02:07:53.000 And also, I think the term robbing is totally wrong, because robbing implies that It implies forcefully taking something for someone.
02:08:02.000 Whereas if someone goes and does a show at the Ice House and Brian has said he's not paying or didn't mention payment, then you're entering into an agreement where you're going to perform for free.
02:08:12.000 So it's more of the performer's deal.
02:08:15.000 Like it's you decided to go and do that.
02:08:17.000 So robbing is the wrong word.
02:08:19.000 So there's that.
02:08:22.000 Watching it explode, you know what I mean?
02:08:25.000 Watching the fireball grow bigger and bigger, it's been a huge lesson for me, you know?
02:08:31.000 And it really has taught me, like, fuck man, you've got to learn to...
02:08:34.000 If you're angry, and especially your anger is at a friend, and even though, like, I think Brian hates my guts permanently now, we've been friends for like, I don't know, Seven years?
02:08:49.000 Like some bring up shit that you did like eight years ago when you stabbed me with a pencil!
02:08:53.000 Stabbed him with a fucking pencil out there.
02:08:54.000 You did stab him with a pencil though.
02:08:55.000 I'm sorry for that.
02:08:55.000 That was pretty fucking crazy.
02:08:56.000 You know what?
02:08:57.000 I'm sorry that I did that.
02:08:59.000 But I'll tell you this.
02:09:00.000 Let me tell you this.
02:09:01.000 I'm a lot less sorry that I stabbed him with a pencil than I am that in a fucking public forum I called him out on something that I should have addressed privately.
02:09:11.000 Because when I stabbed him with a fucking pencil, he kept poking my back on an airplane when I'm trying to sleep, man.
02:09:16.000 And I had to fucking fight back.
02:09:18.000 I don't feel bad about that.
02:09:19.000 I was retarded, babyish, stupid, but that was just an instant reaction to being annoyed.
02:09:24.000 What happened at the Laughing Skull was using a public forum To address a private issue.
02:09:33.000 And I think that that is not fucking cool.
02:09:36.000 And the end result of that, even though that podcast didn't get uploaded, is that we've created a fucking Kardashian episode with the Death Squad.
02:09:45.000 And that sucks, man.
02:09:46.000 There's a lot of fucking people who've been...
02:09:49.000 Taking both sides of it.
02:09:50.000 Taking sides and attacking me or attacking Brian or like, like all this stuff that ultimately, so now what happens, this is the fucking thing that happens, you watch this thing that started off as a mid-sized negative energy ball.
02:10:04.000 Turn into a big negative energy ball and then get fucking scattered and spread throughout the fucking internet with people siding up and trying to say hurtful things or saying, this person's right, that person's wrong, this is good, that's bad.
02:10:17.000 This is why I say simplicity is the most important thing, man, because it's like, ultimately, you just have to say, I forgive you.
02:10:27.000 Simplicity is the most important thing?
02:10:29.000 Simplicity, man.
02:10:29.000 Just forgiveness.
02:10:30.000 Just at some point...
02:10:31.000 Simplicity is forgiveness?
02:10:32.000 Yeah.
02:10:33.000 No, forgiving is a simple act.
02:10:36.000 It doesn't have to be complicated.
02:10:37.000 It doesn't have to be going into Judge Judy mode and stretching out the events to see who was right and who was wrong and how did you do that and why did you do that.
02:10:45.000 It's just a simple thing of being like, look, Let's stop playing shit ping pong with negative energy.
02:10:51.000 Yeah, but it's back to what we were talking about earlier about money being needed to keep score.
02:10:56.000 Even in fights with friends, someone has to be the one who was right, someone has to be the one who was wrong, someone has to be the one who won the argument, someone has to lose.
02:11:05.000 It's like when people break up and get divorced and you're like, oh, she won that one.
02:11:09.000 It sucks.
02:11:10.000 She got out of that one pretty good.
02:11:11.000 She gets this and that a month, and that poor fucking guy, he really lost that one.
02:11:15.000 It sucks.
02:11:16.000 Yeah, it's funny.
02:11:18.000 It's weird.
02:11:18.000 It's weird, man, and it's all ego-based.
02:11:20.000 It's all about our whole society.
02:11:22.000 It's about achievement, forward progress, you know, treading into new territories and taking them over.
02:11:29.000 I mean, whether it's those actual physical territories, like new lands, or whether it's technological territories, like new inventions and innovations.
02:11:39.000 We're always moving forward, so you have to like, okay, you're out of the relationship, how'd you do?
02:11:44.000 I did great.
02:11:45.000 I only married that asshole for three years, and he has to give me a million dollars, you know?
02:11:50.000 Look, man, you know, like, so I think, I don't have anything else to say about that.
02:11:55.000 Right.
02:11:55.000 I think I'm done talking about that, but I do want to say something.
02:11:57.000 Well, in his defense, what he's upset about, more than the fact that you brought it up on the podcast and did it like that and threw him under the bus, That even in your apology, you still said that he wasn't paying the comedians.
02:12:11.000 And he did pay some of the comedians.
02:12:13.000 Right.
02:12:13.000 You know, and apparently, you know, I wasn't really...
02:12:16.000 I told him it'd be a good idea to pay the comedians, but we never really had too many conversations about who got paid and who didn't.
02:12:22.000 It was up to his discretion.
02:12:24.000 Right, okay, so...
02:12:25.000 So Little Lester, Tom Segura, some people got Bert Kreischer, some people got paid.
02:12:28.000 And some didn't.
02:12:29.000 And some didn't.
02:12:30.000 You know, but there was different shows where there wasn't that many seats that were sold.
02:12:34.000 You know, where he did his own shows.
02:12:35.000 There were shows that weren't that successful.
02:12:38.000 Okay, right, okay.
02:12:38.000 So what this turns into at this point is like real fucking, like, to me it's like, I guess, so like if the apology is not correct...
02:12:50.000 Then basically what we've created now is a situation where it's like, you didn't submit to me properly.
02:12:57.000 You know what I mean?
02:12:57.000 I don't, like, okay, I know you played fucking Cat Stevens' peace train and said that you were my friend.
02:13:05.000 You know what I mean?
02:13:06.000 Like, I know that you did that, but you didn't do it in exactly the right way.
02:13:09.000 And then if that happens, then it's like, okay, you didn't do this, and I didn't do this, and now all of a sudden, shit ping pong's happening again.
02:13:16.000 Shit ping pong.
02:13:16.000 You know what I mean?
02:13:17.000 And it's like, fuck, man.
02:13:19.000 Isn't the best thing to do to, number one...
02:13:25.000 Uh, address this situation, and I'm addressing it publicly now because it was brought into the public forum, but isn't it the best thing to do to address it privately?
02:13:32.000 Isn't that the number one, like, best way to handle it?
02:13:36.000 Um, and number two...
02:13:38.000 Well, it wasn't his fault that it was made public.
02:13:40.000 It was really my fault.
02:13:41.000 I was explaining to Ari why you guys were in an argument, and, you know, in the middle of a podcast, you're just talking.
02:13:47.000 I didn't really stop and think whether or not this is a smart thing to re-expose.
02:13:52.000 Right, but...
02:13:53.000 But you must be upset about how it happened, and I know how I feel after every sort of yelling argument that I've ever been in in my life.
02:14:02.000 No, it was really intense to see someone saying, fuck Duncan Trussell in front of possibly half a million people.
02:14:09.000 That felt really weird, because I... You know, like, it's tough for me to imagine a situation where I would be angry enough to, like, try to publicly disparage somebody in that intense way.
02:14:22.000 You know what I mean?
02:14:23.000 I just, I wouldn't, I don't think I'd do that.
02:14:26.000 Unless I was really fucking pissed, so...
02:14:29.000 Yeah, peace train!
02:14:33.000 We're gonna make it all work out, bro.
02:14:34.000 That's my that's what I know it's all gonna come together He's trained by that What a silly bitch.
02:14:47.000 This peace train asshole became a Muslim.
02:14:51.000 He blew it.
02:14:52.000 He fucking blew it.
02:14:53.000 No, Muslims are okay.
02:14:54.000 Some Muslims are okay.
02:14:55.000 Oh, yeah, but he was calling for Salman Rushdie to be killed.
02:14:59.000 Okay, so he got off a peace train.
02:15:00.000 He's crazy.
02:15:01.000 He got off a peace train.
02:15:02.000 He was talking about how the Quran says that Salman Rushdie's gotta go.
02:15:05.000 Gotta go, gotta go.
02:15:10.000 Didn't he recently make a little comeback?
02:15:12.000 Ran out of cash.
02:15:13.000 Had a little bit of a comeback.
02:15:14.000 I saw him playing.
02:15:15.000 He's Yusuf Islam now.
02:15:17.000 It's very sad.
02:15:19.000 That is a sweet song, man.
02:15:21.000 He's got a lot of great songs.
02:15:22.000 He's got some beautiful songs, man.
02:15:24.000 He's obviously an incredibly sensitive guy.
02:15:27.000 But back to the whole situation.
02:15:29.000 I think you have to treat your friends the way you treat someone that you love like a wife.
02:15:34.000 You can't insult them.
02:15:37.000 You can't lash out at them.
02:15:38.000 You can't do it.
02:15:39.000 It's a shitty thing when it happens and you gotta make it all better after it's over.
02:15:44.000 And you gotta really truly feel bad about it and you gotta really truly sort of correct yourself and make sure that you never put yourself into such a situation of almost like verbal combat with a brother, you know?
02:15:56.000 Yes.
02:15:58.000 Brian, for sure, has some maturing to do.
02:16:01.000 I think he's aware of it himself.
02:16:03.000 He started out at a different time than we did.
02:16:06.000 He's a good dude, though, man.
02:16:07.000 I've been with Brian for a long time.
02:16:09.000 We've worked together for like a decade.
02:16:11.000 He's a good dude, man.
02:16:13.000 He's got a lot of man-child in him, but that's part of what makes him funny.
02:16:18.000 That's part of what makes him unique.
02:16:19.000 And P.S., here's the fucking thing.
02:16:21.000 No one needs to be attacking anybody.
02:16:23.000 Exactly.
02:16:24.000 There's no bad guys.
02:16:26.000 There's no need for there to be an enemy involved here.
02:16:28.000 It's crazy.
02:16:28.000 Yeah, there's no...
02:16:29.000 It's like, what we've got going on here with this, whatever you want to call it, the Death Squad, this podcast, our podcast, is an emergent...
02:16:40.000 Art form that's incredibly beautiful and all of us are contributing to it in our own way and a lot of people seem really invested in it and a lot of people seem authentically upset by this fight and so I think like out of respect for this whatever this weird fucking thing is that we're building here we've got to like learn how to We're good to
02:17:11.000 is gonna fall apart.
02:17:13.000 I think you need blowouts like this.
02:17:15.000 I would prefer for them to happen in private, but I think in this case, it got into the public eye fine.
02:17:21.000 The fact that it is in the public eye creates even more of a reason to resolve it in a civilized way that doesn't mean somebody gets hurt or somebody gets fucking excommunicated or somebody gets, like, permanently mad.
02:17:36.000 It means that...
02:17:37.000 Because if we can't figure it out, if we can't figure out how to resolve something as silly as this...
02:17:42.000 Then how can we fucking talk about, stop dropping bombs?
02:17:47.000 You know what I mean?
02:17:47.000 How can we stick when that's what that is in the macro?
02:17:50.000 Right.
02:17:51.000 You know what I mean?
02:17:51.000 And that's why I think it takes, at some point, if you look at the back and forth that happened in war, it's somebody did this to someone, and then they did something back, and then they did something back bigger, and they did something back bigger, it goes on forever.
02:18:03.000 At some point, you just have to be like, I'm sorry, I forgive you, I'm sorry, and that's it.
02:18:09.000 And that's when Brian goes, fuck Duncan Trussell.
02:18:13.000 Yeah, I know, man.
02:18:14.000 That's the fucking...
02:18:15.000 But you know what?
02:18:16.000 It's like you can only handle your side of the street.
02:18:19.000 You know what I mean?
02:18:20.000 That's all that you can do.
02:18:21.000 You can only handle your side of fucking things.
02:18:23.000 That's all you can do.
02:18:24.000 That's it.
02:18:25.000 Yeah, you know, I think all of us get caught up in life and stress and shit and this and that.
02:18:29.000 And there's words that come out of your mouth that are poorly chosen.
02:18:33.000 There's ideas that are expressed selfishly.
02:18:35.000 You know, we all make mistakes.
02:18:37.000 Especially when you're...
02:18:38.000 You're fucking busy.
02:18:39.000 You're not getting enough sleep.
02:18:41.000 Real stressed out.
02:18:42.000 Always in the middle of a million different things like I know you are and I certainly am.
02:18:46.000 People make mistakes.
02:18:47.000 People make a lot of fucking mistakes.
02:18:49.000 People make mistakes.
02:18:50.000 You gotta know when you've been friends with someone for a long time the essence of who that person is.
02:18:55.000 You know, you gotta be a nice guy both when you are in charge and when you are the employee or the person who has to listen and follow directions, whether you're the fan or whether you're the performer, whether you're the police officer or the guy who has to talk to the cop because his car got stolen.
02:19:15.000 You know, we have to figure out a way to To always communicate with respect.
02:19:21.000 It's just so hard to develop a human being that's completely and totally honest.
02:19:25.000 That we live in this world of maybes and half-truths and bullshit and lies.
02:19:29.000 And then behind the lies there's things that are true but make no sense.
02:19:32.000 Like legislation and laws.
02:19:34.000 And all of it adds up to be this really confusing, frustrating, unfair feeling of life in general.
02:19:43.000 Just as a pattern of your whole fucking situation.
02:19:46.000 But all of it.
02:19:47.000 All of it can be cured by the simple truth that we have to start treating each other as if we are treating ourselves living another life.
02:19:58.000 If we are all this one thing that is born into this world in various circumstances, in various biological situations, in various states of the world, in various climates, but at the soul of it all, behind the sex and behind the height and the weight and The essence of what a fucking human being is, it could just be easily you.
02:20:22.000 You could be that guy.
02:20:23.000 You could be this guy.
02:20:24.000 What you are, stripped of culture and language, and what I am is the same thing.
02:20:29.000 I'm just going through this in a completely different ride, with a totally different flesh vehicle, and we happen to see each other along the journey, and we become friends and united in our struggle together, and enhanced each other.
02:20:40.000 But at the end of the day, we're the same fucking thing.
02:20:43.000 And once we realize that I'm the same as some poor fuck that was born in Afghanistan and is living in a cave, I'm the same as that guy.
02:20:50.000 I just got a way better roll of the dice than I was born in New Jersey.
02:20:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:20:53.000 The only way we're ever going to get over this hump of existence is if we drop all the bullshit and the one law that we should all recognize, the one thing that we should all practice, Is the ideal that you are me, and I am you, and we are living completely different lives, but inside the body, inside the beaming of what it is.
02:21:22.000 When you think of you, I can easily be you.
02:21:25.000 I could easily be my mother.
02:21:26.000 I could easily be this asshole that lives on the street from me that I can't talk to because he's dumb.
02:21:30.000 It could be this guy.
02:21:31.000 I could be that guy.
02:21:32.000 I could have been born here.
02:21:33.000 It's just some crazy situation where we may all be the very same thing, living through different epochs, living through different biological identities, living through different genetics and different social circumstances, but at the root of it all, we could be the same fucking thing, and we essentially are.
02:21:50.000 Yeah, okay.
02:21:51.000 We essentially are.
02:21:51.000 For sure, man.
02:21:52.000 It's our own individual experiences that confuse the fuck out of us.
02:21:55.000 Yeah.
02:21:55.000 If we really started treating people like that, if you really looked at the world like that, and it doesn't always mean that you're going to give that person everything they want, because then you could spoil you.
02:22:06.000 Well, that's right.
02:22:07.000 I mean, you can't be phony about it.
02:22:09.000 Yeah.
02:22:09.000 You know what I mean?
02:22:10.000 Like, you gotta, like...
02:22:11.000 You have to address it from a real place.
02:22:13.000 Yes.
02:22:13.000 You can't be phony.
02:22:15.000 But, if you...
02:22:17.000 If it...
02:22:18.000 If you have as an intention in dealing with conflict, which everyone's gonna have, wanting a resolution that Wanting not just a resolution, but an evolution.
02:22:30.000 Yeah, that's it.
02:22:31.000 If that's your fucking intention behind it, it's going to work out great.
02:22:35.000 It's going to work out okay.
02:22:36.000 It might be turbulent, it might be weird, but if that's your intention, then it's a lot different than the intention being, I'm going to win this!
02:22:44.000 I'm going to conquer!
02:22:46.000 I'm going to be the one who comes out on top!
02:22:48.000 That only creates more shit ping pong and more negativity in the world.
02:22:52.000 That's the thing that we've got to deal with, and this thing with Brian, and I'm sure everyone's got an example of this happening in their life or will have it.
02:23:01.000 Deal with it in a way that's like accelerating the community, making the community stronger, making the community more...
02:23:09.000 How about just the less karmic impact?
02:23:13.000 Yeah.
02:23:15.000 Outside of all that, get complicated and start really ultra-defining everything as far as doing it for the community.
02:23:21.000 But just do what feels like the healthiest thing to do.
02:23:26.000 What's the healthiest thing to do?
02:23:26.000 Drop all the problems.
02:23:28.000 Drop all the bullshit.
02:23:29.000 Just drop it.
02:23:30.000 It's done.
02:23:30.000 Drop it.
02:23:31.000 And learn from it and never be that guy again.
02:23:33.000 You know, we have to accept that this is a trial and error sort of a situation in life.
02:23:38.000 Especially the generation that you and I come from.
02:23:41.000 You know, you in your 30s, me in my 40s.
02:23:43.000 We're essentially one of the first generations to be awake.
02:23:47.000 We're one of the first generations to use the internet and to sort of...
02:23:51.000 Exchange so much information back and forth with each other that we're kind of reformulating our idea of how the world works.
02:23:57.000 You know, and we don't really necessarily trust our parents that brought us into this thing.
02:24:02.000 We don't necessarily trust our parents' parents to have a full sort of an account of what really is going on in this life, biologically, physically, geopolitically.
02:24:13.000 We're one of the first generations to truly have a decent grasp of it because of our use of the internet.
02:24:20.000 So a lot of what we're doing as adults is essentially trying to re-govern our own culture, to re-figure out how we're communicating with each other.
02:24:31.000 If the New York Giants fans really want to beat the fuck out of the Raiders and they don't even know them, Isn't there something wrong with that?
02:24:38.000 Could that not be us on another side of the country?
02:24:41.000 Do you not understand that?
02:24:42.000 You really want to go to a fucking ball game in Philly and they break your leg in the hallway because you're wearing the wrong shirt?
02:24:48.000 That stuff happens.
02:24:50.000 That's you, man.
02:24:51.000 That's you on the ground living a different life and you just stomped on your thigh bone and snapped it.
02:24:56.000 And that's a really unfortunate aspect of life, this sort of a tribal thing that might have existed in that book, The Road, in that movie.
02:25:07.000 What could happen if the shit hits the fan?
02:25:09.000 But what we have to understand is the shit's not hitting the fan right now.
02:25:13.000 It's not hitting the fan at all.
02:25:14.000 This is nothing like the shit that's the fan.
02:25:17.000 There's a guy that I was mentioning earlier that was talking about how life right now that we're unhappy but yet we live very much like kings and emperors, you know, did a hundred years ago, which I thought was really stupid because first of all, The idea of we don't live anything like an emperor.
02:25:35.000 You don't have a harem.
02:25:36.000 You can't order them around.
02:25:37.000 You can't have people killed if they talk shit.
02:25:40.000 You don't have people carrying you around on a giant tray everywhere you go.
02:25:45.000 Also, you're not eating rancid fucking meat.
02:25:47.000 Yeah.
02:25:47.000 You're not dying from whooping cough because nobody knows what the fuck it is and they think you got possessed by a demon.
02:25:55.000 That was always Yeah, those silly fucks.
02:25:59.000 Dude, can I tell you about something?
02:26:01.000 I don't know how long I've been doing this, but please, can you look something up, dude?
02:26:04.000 Yeah, sure.
02:26:05.000 Augmented reality sandbox.
02:26:07.000 Augmented reality sandbox.
02:26:09.000 Look up this fucking thing, man.
02:26:10.000 What is it?
02:26:10.000 Speaking of living in the best, it's an Xbox Kinect set up over a sandbox with a projector blasting flowing water into it.
02:26:18.000 So as you move your finger through the sandbox, water flows around and grass forms.
02:26:25.000 It's like the future of video games, man.
02:26:27.000 Especially with this new quantum sand that apparently computers can construct into shapes that they're talking about.
02:26:34.000 Did you find it?
02:26:35.000 Whoa.
02:26:35.000 Yeah, dude.
02:26:36.000 What the fuck is this, man?
02:26:38.000 It's fucking badass.
02:26:39.000 So explain it one more time, please?
02:26:41.000 It is an Xbox Kinect that's somehow detecting changes in the terrain of the sandbox and projecting water and grass and sand over different parts of it, I think based on how high or how low the sand is.
02:26:59.000 So if you, like, go really...
02:27:01.000 Like, if you hold your hand over it, it makes water appear running through the sandbox.
02:27:05.000 And if you run your fingers through it, I think water appears as though there's, like, water under the sand, like at the beach.
02:27:11.000 You know when my fucking computer runs slow as shit?
02:27:14.000 Probably when you're streaming a podcast.
02:27:16.000 Yeah, when I'm streaming a podcast.
02:27:18.000 What's that about?
02:27:19.000 Well, it's because I guess there's only a certain amount of bandwidth.
02:27:22.000 That's weak.
02:27:23.000 Is it really that hard to make a podcast, folks?
02:27:27.000 I know.
02:27:27.000 Every time I try to go online, it's just slug-like.
02:27:33.000 I'm sorry, so I was looking that up.
02:27:35.000 Augmented reality.
02:27:36.000 I'm trying to pull up the YouTube video, but it's really slow here.
02:27:40.000 It's so cool.
02:27:41.000 Okay, now I'm looking at it.
02:27:44.000 Wow.
02:27:46.000 And so, how does it work?
02:27:48.000 The Xbox Kinect, I think, identifies distances.
02:27:52.000 I don't know how it works.
02:27:55.000 So you're drawing in the sandbox, and then as you scoop up the sandbox, it's showing on a projection screen?
02:28:04.000 It's projecting directly onto the sand.
02:28:07.000 Wow.
02:28:07.000 From above.
02:28:08.000 Yeah.
02:28:09.000 It's projecting changes in colors.
02:28:10.000 It looks very psychedelic.
02:28:12.000 It's super psychedelic.
02:28:13.000 You could trip a kid out.
02:28:14.000 Make a kid make sandcastles and that shit.
02:28:16.000 Trip him out.
02:28:17.000 Fuck the kid, man.
02:28:18.000 It's next level.
02:28:19.000 Next level sandcastles.
02:28:20.000 Wait till they project StarCraft on that fucking thing.
02:28:26.000 I'm gone.
02:28:27.000 I'm gone.
02:28:28.000 Speaking of Starcraft, every day in my life is just like downtime until Prometheus comes out.
02:28:34.000 I'm just like, I would like to clone Ridley Scott and give him an infinite budget and just give him all the acid and mushrooms he needs and him and H.R. Geiger and just lock him in a room together and just make a million alien movies.
02:28:48.000 Dude, I've been I swear to God, I've been thinking about inducing a coma just to wake up and be able to go to Prometheus.
02:28:54.000 I can't fucking wait.
02:28:57.000 I know, it's so dorkalicious.
02:29:00.000 Yeah, I can't wait.
02:29:01.000 It's like I was saying about my lust to go see the Avengers.
02:29:06.000 I feel like I'm getting away with something.
02:29:07.000 I really do.
02:29:08.000 I'm going to bring the Mustang, too.
02:29:10.000 The stupidest fucking kid car that I had.
02:29:13.000 I have a Shelby GT500. It's just really loud.
02:29:18.000 Super American car.
02:29:20.000 It's so American, man.
02:29:22.000 Everything about it.
02:29:23.000 They don't make another car.
02:29:24.000 No one in the rest of the world makes a car like a Shelby Mustang.
02:29:28.000 Slides all over the place.
02:29:30.000 It handles pretty well, considering.
02:29:32.000 I went and test drove cars yesterday.
02:29:34.000 Man, they're so fucking nice after you've been driving around an 89 Volvo.
02:29:39.000 I love cars.
02:29:40.000 Cars are my number one technological thrill, like the thing that I enjoy the most.
02:29:47.000 I just love the craftsmanship.
02:29:49.000 I love how someone's created something.
02:29:51.000 I love the different philosophies behind cars, like the high-revving cars of Germany, or like the deep...
02:29:57.000 Low torque muscle cars of America.
02:30:00.000 I think they're fascinating to me.
02:30:02.000 They're moving works of art that they sell.
02:30:05.000 If you buy a new Corvette, there's a lot of people that think Corvettes are douchey because a lot of douchebags drive Corvettes.
02:30:10.000 But Corvettes are fucking amazing.
02:30:12.000 It's an amazing piece of construction and engineering.
02:30:16.000 Dude, but isn't that a funny thing?
02:30:17.000 Because people think they're supposed to think it's not cool.
02:30:21.000 Yeah.
02:30:22.000 An object can get a douchebag-ish reputation, and thus if you're with that object...
02:30:27.000 Sorry.
02:30:28.000 What is that?
02:30:28.000 My fucking phone.
02:30:29.000 Sorry.
02:30:30.000 You have a horn?
02:30:32.000 You ridiculous motherfucker.
02:30:34.000 What?
02:30:34.000 It's a forest horn.
02:30:36.000 Oh, okay.
02:30:36.000 Turn that shit on mute, son.
02:30:38.000 I don't know how.
02:30:39.000 There's a little thing on the side of it.
02:30:41.000 I won't turn down all the way.
02:30:42.000 It goes to vibrate, stupid.
02:30:43.000 The thing on the side.
02:30:45.000 Up above, where your fingers are.
02:30:47.000 Where your fuck finger is.
02:30:48.000 See that?
02:30:49.000 That finger right there, man.
02:30:51.000 Jesus Christ, are you retarded?
02:30:53.000 There's a little lever on the top of the side of your phone.
02:30:56.000 The top of the side.
02:30:57.000 You see that?
02:30:57.000 Yeah, that shuts it to vibrate, you fuck.
02:30:59.000 Oh, that changed my life!
02:31:00.000 Oh, you are so retarded.
02:31:02.000 I didn't know that.
02:31:04.000 How do you not know how to fucking turn your vibrator on?
02:31:08.000 Seriously, man?
02:31:08.000 At night, that fucking horn's been waking me up.
02:31:11.000 Oh my God, you idiot.
02:31:16.000 Oh my god, you idiot.
02:31:18.000 You didn't know that?
02:31:20.000 How the fuck do you have an iPhone and not know where the vibrate button is?
02:31:25.000 Duncan, you make me sad.
02:31:28.000 Sorry, man.
02:31:28.000 You fucking just changed my life, man.
02:31:30.000 That fucking thing is bothering me nonstop.
02:31:37.000 Dude, I've been looking at some of these Android phones they have now.
02:31:41.000 I know I get, like, lusty envy with certain phones, but one of them I've been looking at is this Galaxy Note.
02:31:46.000 I've been watching videos, and one of the things that everybody keeps saying is, once you get this thing, it's really hard to go back to a regular phone.
02:31:53.000 Five inches wide.
02:31:55.000 And it's 4G. It's wicked fast.
02:31:57.000 It's a crazy fast processor.
02:31:59.000 And I'm watching these people use it and play with it online and take pictures with it and draw on the picture.
02:32:03.000 Like, you can write, like, I'm stupid.
02:32:05.000 And you can send it in an email or send it in a text message.
02:32:08.000 And browsing the internet.
02:32:09.000 I mean, it's fucking huge, man.
02:32:11.000 It's five inches.
02:32:13.000 Yeah, man, I feel like the little screen on the iPhone...
02:32:16.000 It's not enough.
02:32:16.000 I think it gives you eye strain.
02:32:18.000 It's bad.
02:32:18.000 I think it fucks up your eyes.
02:32:19.000 This thing is better.
02:32:20.000 This fucking thing is better.
02:32:21.000 I may switch.
02:32:21.000 I may switch from the iPhone to this notebook.
02:32:23.000 I'll never switch from the iPhone.
02:32:24.000 You say that, man, but these new ice cream sandwich Google phones are pretty fucking complicated, man.
02:32:29.000 They're really badass.
02:32:31.000 I've never taken that risk again.
02:32:32.000 Really?
02:32:33.000 They would kiss my ass.
02:32:33.000 Wow.
02:32:34.000 Look at you.
02:32:35.000 I had an Android for so long, it We're good to go.
02:32:54.000 And the new Samsung Galaxy 3, that's another one that just came out in England.
02:32:59.000 I don't think it's out in America yet.
02:33:01.000 That's another huge one.
02:33:02.000 It's like 4.8 inch screen.
02:33:05.000 Enormous screen.
02:33:06.000 Not quite as big as the Note.
02:33:07.000 The Note is like 5 plus.
02:33:08.000 I think 5.3.
02:33:10.000 But it's a huge screen.
02:33:11.000 And when you touch the outside of it, it ripples like water.
02:33:15.000 It's got the effect that there's water on it.
02:33:17.000 When you rub your hand across it, it takes a snapshot of the screen.
02:33:20.000 That's all you have to do.
02:33:21.000 It's like you're a magician.
02:33:23.000 You do that.
02:33:24.000 They're badass, man.
02:33:25.000 Which is going to lead to a lot of accidental screenshots.
02:33:29.000 People are going to be fucking and drop their phone on the ground.
02:33:32.000 It looks like it's a swipe, but really it's just passing by a dick.
02:33:36.000 And they're going to take pictures of ball sacks and all kinds of unexpected shit.
02:33:41.000 All kinds of...
02:33:42.000 What's the word you're looking for?
02:33:44.000 Candid.
02:33:44.000 Candid shots.
02:33:46.000 Candid.
02:33:46.000 Adult shots.
02:33:47.000 Random vagina shots.
02:33:49.000 Whoa.
02:33:49.000 Adult.
02:33:50.000 What happened?
02:33:51.000 This is an adult film.
02:33:52.000 Some screenshots.
02:33:54.000 Yeah, there's a lot of...
02:33:55.000 The camera's view.
02:33:56.000 Dude, you know what I'm afraid of, man?
02:33:58.000 I'm afraid that, like, here's what's going to happen.
02:34:00.000 This is what I think is going to happen to me when I get conspiratorial and worry about the crazy shit we talk about on here.
02:34:05.000 Uh-oh.
02:34:06.000 I think one day, the feds are going to come.
02:34:08.000 They're going to take me...
02:34:09.000 They're going to do the old Bill Hicks thing where they take you into a room.
02:34:13.000 But instead of showing a video of an assassination, they're going to show a screen filled with MOVs of me jerking off in front of my fucking mouth.
02:34:22.000 In front of your camera.
02:34:24.000 And next to it, the different things I was jerking off to.
02:34:28.000 And they're going to show me that and be like, hey man, you want to keep saying the hippie shit?
02:34:32.000 You want to keep talking about that?
02:34:33.000 Because look.
02:34:34.000 I want to keep talking, hippie boy.
02:34:35.000 Hey, what's this?
02:34:36.000 What's this?
02:34:37.000 Is this German piss porn, Duncan, that you are looking at?
02:34:40.000 Is it possible to convert the entire government into a positive force?
02:34:45.000 Is it possible to have people that are really looking out to do the right thing and get it all together?
02:34:49.000 or is the job of working for the government so fucking unrewarding and boring that everyone just falls into a place of non-innovation non-responsibility thinking the diffusion of responsibility that comes with the corporation also falls upon you when you're in government it's just it seems so futile it seems so huge it seems so impassable that you just sort of give up and come you just become a part of the wave dude I think right now it's I don't know how you fix it
02:35:19.000 So all I can think about is like...
02:35:21.000 In the micro you fix it, and if the majority of people start improving their lives and the lives of people around them and actively seeking to put positive energy out in the world, then maybe that'll sort of transform the government itself in a real way.
02:35:37.000 But as long as people are getting caught up worrying about the macro and thinking that everything's coming to a screeching halt and everything's fucked up and they might as well just live like idiots and give up So I think the idea is it's like, yeah, things are fucked up.
02:35:57.000 The world, Nancy Grace's world, is a shitty fucking world.
02:36:01.000 But let's not worry about Lynn, Laniece, Lanou got strangled in the Everglades.
02:36:06.000 And let's start worrying about the way that we're treating our fucking wife or our friends or our kids or whatever and deal with that.
02:36:13.000 And then if enough people started doing that, I think a big change would happen in the world, man.
02:36:17.000 You can definitely change.
02:36:19.000 Look, everybody can change.
02:36:20.000 And everybody can change their own environment by surrounding yourself with other people that are like-minded.
02:36:24.000 That is possible.
02:36:25.000 And that's one of the things that I think that this podcast does.
02:36:28.000 We've talked about this before, but it's important to recognize that we're aware of this.
02:36:33.000 That this is not something that existed when we were young.
02:36:36.000 We didn't have access to people that were just, for sort of, with no real...
02:36:43.000 I mean, there's no obligation.
02:36:46.000 There's no real direction that we're trying to go with us.
02:36:51.000 We are just trying to express ourselves 100% honestly.
02:36:54.000 There's no ulterior motive.
02:36:56.000 There's no agenda.
02:36:57.000 There's no deception.
02:37:00.000 It's just this is how we really view the world.
02:37:03.000 And when you're stuck somewhere and you don't have people like that around you, this is the only way you can get that.
02:37:09.000 And through this, It allows people to connect, like-minded people to connect through Twitter and through Facebook and whatever.
02:37:16.000 And they seek each other out and all improve the actual environment they live in.
02:37:21.000 And then it starts these exponential changes all over the world.
02:37:24.000 That's the only way, in my opinion, we're ever going to change any government anyway.
02:37:29.000 It's expose them to new ideas that are more satisfying than the stupid, dumb conqueror model that they've been using since before the days of Genghis Khan.
02:37:36.000 That's it, man.
02:37:37.000 And we've got to figure that out.
02:37:38.000 We have to figure out what that looks like.
02:37:40.000 Well, that looks like the internet.
02:37:42.000 That's what it looks like.
02:37:43.000 It's like Reddit.
02:37:44.000 Exactly.
02:37:45.000 The internet is the only thing that doesn't want to hear your bullshit.
02:37:49.000 There's isolated pockets.
02:37:52.000 There's isolated places where you can go, like stormfront websites, where you can just go hang out with only Nazis.
02:37:59.000 You know what I mean?
02:38:00.000 There are a lot of those out there.
02:38:02.000 You could just do that.
02:38:03.000 But the overwhelming social network interaction, the overwhelming...
02:38:08.000 Experience seems to be the distribution of information.
02:38:12.000 Good and bad.
02:38:14.000 Good and bad.
02:38:15.000 But the distribution of information, the exposure of reality.
02:38:20.000 Yeah, it's incredible, man, and it's like definitely, if you look back at history and the way powers always fought to subvert the flow of information and suddenly there's a thing that is like a truth volcano and there's no way to put a fucking cork on it.
02:38:34.000 No, dude, if we had this, if this was a radio show and we were in 1960 and this was a pirate radio show, they'd put us in jail.
02:38:40.000 Oh, yeah.
02:38:40.000 They would come after us and put us in jail.
02:38:42.000 There's a giant difference between the world of post-1993, which is really sort of one of the first years of the internet being like a public entity that I can remember.
02:38:51.000 Maybe it happened a few years before that for the real hardcore guys, like the real hardcore geeks.
02:38:56.000 But for me, 1993 is about what I... And that's a different fucking era.
02:39:01.000 They might as well have been...
02:39:03.000 I mean, before that, there was no cell phones either.
02:39:05.000 All that happened at the same time as well.
02:39:07.000 You know, essentially, in a few years post...
02:39:10.000 You know, it all kind of bubbled together into one big sort of a communicative soup.
02:39:15.000 Yeah, man.
02:39:16.000 It's incredible.
02:39:16.000 And it's also incredible how positive it can be.
02:39:21.000 Can be, yeah.
02:39:22.000 This.
02:39:22.000 This.
02:39:23.000 With this, more positive for us, you know, for sure.
02:39:26.000 More positive at the shows.
02:39:28.000 More people enjoying themselves.
02:39:30.000 We're having shows that we've never had before.
02:39:32.000 So the kind of shows we're having where we're going, thousands of people are there, and the thousands of people are screaming and having fun, and this is just a massive burst of positive energy.
02:39:43.000 Well, that massive burst of positive energy all came out of doing something like this, doing this podcast, connecting with all those people out there, filling their head with something to think about while they're working, while they're doing mundane tasks, while they're commuting, all of it for free, all of it without an agenda, and all of that, we see what it does.
02:39:59.000 It spreads out more positivity.
02:40:01.000 And it makes you want to write more shit and it makes you want to perform more comedy and have more material for them and do more shows.
02:40:09.000 And it fucking rocks your consciousness when the freaks contact you and say, hey, listen, I'm a thelemite.
02:40:17.000 I'm a disciple of Crowley.
02:40:19.000 Hey, why don't you check out this book?
02:40:21.000 Book four.
02:40:22.000 And then you order.
02:40:22.000 Alright, I'll fucking get book four.
02:40:24.000 And then you're reading Crowley and suddenly you're like, holy fucking shit.
02:40:28.000 This is some intense shit here.
02:40:29.000 Some of this is right on and real.
02:40:31.000 Or that guy Matt Staggs from Disinfo.
02:40:33.000 I love you.
02:40:34.000 He sent me all these fucking books.
02:40:36.000 I've been reading these books and getting stoned and reading these books and just start shuddering and stoner.
02:40:41.000 Like, are you fucking If you don't know about this info, just go out and get your being lied to.
02:40:57.000 It's amazing.
02:40:58.000 They're amazing.
02:40:59.000 Anybody says there's no conspiracies is a fucking idiot.
02:41:03.000 Because, like as we were talking about with 9-11, there had to be a conspiracy on the enemy side.
02:41:08.000 So there are conspiracies in human nature, and they do pull things off.
02:41:12.000 And if you don't think they have in the past, you're being silly.
02:41:15.000 You're being incredibly silly.
02:41:17.000 That's how it runs!
02:41:18.000 Yeah, there's obviously conspiracies.
02:41:22.000 There needs to be conspiracies.
02:41:24.000 How about every time you fucking...
02:41:25.000 I mean, yeah, there's many conspiracies and huge conspiracies.
02:41:29.000 Anyway, the whole point is, what we have going on here is not a one-sided thing.
02:41:34.000 We've got a conversation happening with these people.
02:41:37.000 We're connecting with people.
02:41:39.000 And that's why it's so cool to do those things we do after the show.
02:41:42.000 We go out and take pictures with people for fucking hours.
02:41:45.000 Greatest.
02:41:45.000 For hours.
02:41:46.000 We just go wade out into the crowd and take pictures.
02:41:49.000 So fun.
02:41:49.000 That's where it's hacking.
02:41:50.000 Yeah, and these people are overwhelmingly cool.
02:41:53.000 Overwhelmingly cool.
02:41:54.000 I, I, yeah.
02:41:55.000 99.9%.
02:41:57.000 99.9999.
02:41:58.000 Yeah.
02:41:59.000 And even the ones that aren't cool are just fucking probably just freaking out.
02:42:01.000 The ones that aren't cool are just a little too drunk, I've noticed.
02:42:04.000 Just a little bit of that, yeah.
02:42:05.000 Fucking poor shit.
02:42:07.000 Sad bitches.
02:42:10.000 But other than that, it's been overwhelmingly positive.
02:42:14.000 And that all came from this one thing.
02:42:17.000 It all came from this one idea, this desire to express yourself and express information, discuss things, and to force ourselves to have these conversations on a regular basis.
02:42:29.000 And Duncan and I, we started having these conversations when he was working at the Comedy Store.
02:42:33.000 Exactly what you're saying.
02:42:34.000 Very similar.
02:42:35.000 That's how we became friends.
02:42:37.000 Duncan was the guy who you'd call in and say, hey man, I'm going to be in town Friday and Saturday, throw me up.
02:42:41.000 And Duncan would, you know, he would write down the lineups and give them to Mitzi, and Mitzi would decide where to put everybody.
02:42:47.000 So Duncan may not call him up.
02:42:48.000 Hey man, I'm going to be in town Friday.
02:42:49.000 What's going on?
02:42:50.000 Dude, I just read this book, okay?
02:42:52.000 And we would go into these crazy fucking rabbit hole conversations.
02:42:57.000 Because sometimes the phone wouldn't ring at the comedy store for an hour.
02:43:00.000 So you and I would just keep talking.
02:43:02.000 We would just have long ass crazy conversations about all kinds of weird shit.
02:43:07.000 Yeah man, but you know, you pretty much gave me my big break.
02:43:11.000 Because you started taking me out on the road with you when I sucked.
02:43:18.000 Well, you know, you always had potential.
02:43:21.000 You know, it wasn't that...
02:43:22.000 Well, you saw that.
02:43:23.000 Yeah.
02:43:23.000 And that meant a lot.
02:43:24.000 Because, like, having, like, you be like, hey, man, like, I can remember...
02:43:28.000 I'll never forget this shit, man.
02:43:30.000 I can remember being in the OR and doing this joke.
02:43:33.000 I don't even do it anymore.
02:43:34.000 But it was like, being in a bad relationship is like having an octopus stuck to your face that every once in a while whispers to you, do you still love me?
02:43:42.000 No.
02:43:42.000 This is some dumb joke.
02:43:44.000 But I remember you saw that and after it you were like, that was fucking funny, man.
02:43:48.000 And I was like, whoa, holy shit, man.
02:43:51.000 Rogan thinks that joke's funny.
02:43:52.000 That was a big moment, man.
02:43:54.000 You really do help a lot of young comics, man.
02:43:57.000 You help a lot of fucking comics.
02:43:58.000 You really have like a...
02:43:59.000 A sort of patron thing happening with people.
02:44:03.000 Well, that's nice if that's true.
02:44:05.000 I love comedy, man.
02:44:06.000 It's still my favorite thing to watch as an audience member.
02:44:09.000 I think it's the greatest art form there is.
02:44:11.000 As far as me, what entertains me, I just love watching a good comic more than anything.
02:44:16.000 So I love helping.
02:44:20.000 I love watching guys become killers.
02:44:22.000 I remember watching Ari Shafir go from being a guy who was a little bit uncomfortable on stage, trying to find his feet, to one day, you know, just slowly but surely becoming a killer.
02:44:33.000 And now I just watch, I've seen Ari crush in front of thousands of people.
02:44:37.000 And I remember taking him on the road with me.
02:44:38.000 I remember I took him to Denver.
02:44:40.000 I was taking Mike Young.
02:44:42.000 Mike Young couldn't make it for some reason.
02:44:43.000 So we took Ari, and Ari just fucking lit the place on fire.
02:44:47.000 And I was like, God damn, look at Ari Shafir.
02:44:49.000 All of a sudden, he's a real comedian.
02:44:51.000 It's beautiful.
02:44:51.000 It's beautiful to watch your friends grow and prosper and become real comedians.
02:44:56.000 You would fucking encourage me to do the puppet act and fucking crowd film.
02:45:06.000 Fuck them, man.
02:45:07.000 Just do it.
02:45:08.000 That's your bit.
02:45:09.000 It was awesome, man.
02:45:10.000 It's brilliant.
02:45:10.000 But a lot of fucking, a lot of comics who are bringing people on the road with them would not recommend before their sets be like, hey, dude, do that fucking really uncomfortable satanic puppet act.
02:45:22.000 Right?
02:45:22.000 So that I come out, because I want to see what it's like to come out to a horrified crowd.
02:45:28.000 Not just a crowd that's like, like, seeing someone bomb, but a crowd that's like, maybe seeing like, either someone who's schizophrenic or like, Well, you know, I mean, I had this conversation with Ari once on the road.
02:45:43.000 We were talking about trying out new stuff and bombing or, you know, or what have you.
02:45:48.000 You know, like the willingness to take chances and then sometimes it doesn't work out.
02:45:52.000 And he said, yeah, but sometimes, you know, you go on the road and you don't want to take those chances.
02:45:56.000 I said, well, you don't have to worry about that because you're open enough for me.
02:46:00.000 Right.
02:46:00.000 So it doesn't matter if you bomb.
02:46:02.000 You're never going to get fired.
02:46:04.000 I know that you're a funny comedian.
02:46:06.000 Yeah, that's cool.
02:46:07.000 As long as you're trying to be...
02:46:09.000 I wouldn't have that feeling is when someone wasn't trying to get better.
02:46:14.000 Right.
02:46:14.000 There are people that just get to a certain point and they just completely plateau and then they redo the same jokes for a decade.
02:46:21.000 We all know comics that are like that.
02:46:23.000 I have no desire to be around those type of people.
02:46:27.000 But the type of guys like you or like Ari or anybody who is improving and always working on your stand-up, I was like, go fuck around up there, man.
02:46:34.000 If it doesn't work out, it doesn't matter.
02:46:36.000 It doesn't matter.
02:46:37.000 It's all about developing.
02:46:39.000 Oh, dude, but you don't necessarily tiptoe around the fact that some of our jokes don't work out.
02:46:44.000 You've got to be honest about that, but I want you to be honest to me, too.
02:46:47.000 Eddie Bravo said to me once, he goes, man, I don't like that joke you're doing.
02:46:52.000 And I said, yeah, I'm kind of forcing it, right?
02:46:54.000 I'm like, yeah, thank you for telling me that.
02:46:55.000 Thank you.
02:46:56.000 Because I'm fucking forcing that joke.
02:46:57.000 That was a joke that I had kept in my arsenal that I had committed to for whatever reason.
02:47:01.000 It just wasn't good.
02:47:02.000 No, that kind of shit helps, man.
02:47:04.000 Fuck yeah, man.
02:47:06.000 You need to know.
02:47:07.000 You need to know when you're being repetitive.
02:47:09.000 You need to know when you overuse the word fuck and you make for an uncomfortable moment when someone's listening to you.
02:47:16.000 You're doing it when you're on stage.
02:47:18.000 Is you're essentially controlling the pattern of thought that goes through someone's mind, because you're going to bring up various topics and various subjects that put various images and feelings in people, and you have to get them to appreciate where your mind is coming from.
02:47:31.000 Well, if you're adding in a bunch of extra fucks, or you're stammering, or you're coming off like a goof, which oftentimes we do, especially on this podcast when we got too high, like I couldn't remember the Young Turk thing earlier.
02:47:41.000 Ah, that's okay.
02:47:42.000 We go into stammer mode.
02:47:44.000 But no one wants to listen to that and then allow you to continue controlling the pattern of thought.
02:47:49.000 That's why it's an uncomfortable moment.
02:47:51.000 That uncomfortable moment is the realization that at that moment you shouldn't be in control.
02:47:56.000 And unfortunately you are.
02:47:58.000 Because there's only two people in the room.
02:47:59.000 Regardless of the fact that a half a million people are going to listen to this, there's only two people in the room.
02:48:03.000 Two people.
02:48:04.000 Sometimes I've gone on stage and fucking forgotten what's about to come out of my mouth.
02:48:07.000 That's the worst thing where you're like in the middle of something and that's happened to me a couple of times where I'm like too high and I'm like, shit.
02:48:15.000 Can I do this joke?
02:48:16.000 You gotta be careful.
02:48:17.000 Well, you know what sucks when you do more than one show in a night.
02:48:20.000 Yeah, and then you get really confused.
02:48:22.000 Well, because when you do more than one show, what happens is there's a state of mind when you're on stage, which is like, let's just consider it getting on the trolley and sitting in the same seat, okay?
02:48:33.000 You get on the trolley, you're in that same seat.
02:48:35.000 That is the state of mind that you're at when you're on stage.
02:48:38.000 Like, I'm in this driver's seat, and here we go, I'm on the trolley.
02:48:42.000 Well, when you're on the trolley again for the second show, And especially if you do it like I do it, where I don't really have necessarily a particular order.
02:48:50.000 I think I have an idea of probably how I'm going to close, but I don't know how the fuck I'm going to open, and I might go from here to there, and I might jump all over the place.
02:48:57.000 And when I do that, then I can get lost and say, I don't remember if I did this one already.
02:49:02.000 Dude, it's, um, yeah, it's really easy to lose your focus up there, but thank God it doesn't happen all the time.
02:49:07.000 You know, I just realized this two-man thing, a problem?
02:49:10.000 I gotta fucking piss, dude.
02:49:11.000 Ha!
02:49:12.000 Go piss, let's wrap this up.
02:49:13.000 We've been talking for two hours.
02:49:15.000 Should we wrap it up now?
02:49:16.000 In 50 minutes.
02:49:17.000 Yeah, let's wrap it up now.
02:49:18.000 So, I think, um, to wrap up the Brian thing, you know, I think we all learned a little something from this.
02:49:23.000 And I think, yeah, online feuds and just spats and all that stuff is just bitch shit.
02:49:29.000 Yeah, let's forget.
02:49:30.000 Water over the bridge.
02:49:31.000 It's gross.
02:49:32.000 Done.
02:49:32.000 Done.
02:49:33.000 See you later.
02:49:34.000 Bye-bye.
02:49:34.000 Bye.
02:49:34.000 You're going to have to have a city of levitation to lift yourself above this life.
02:49:40.000 We need to get you back in the isolation tank, dude.
02:49:41.000 I've got to get in there.
02:49:42.000 Can I plug something?
02:49:43.000 Plug the fuck out of it, son.
02:49:44.000 We're doing pre-sales for the first time ever in my life as a comedian.
02:49:47.000 Oh my goodness.
02:49:48.000 I've started selling t-shirts.
02:49:50.000 We're doing pre-sales for t-shirts at the shop at dougatrustle.com.
02:49:53.000 They're awesome.
02:49:55.000 One of them is a pyramid killing a fucking vampire.
02:49:58.000 I've seen it.
02:49:58.000 It's pretty dope.
02:49:59.000 If they order pre-sale, how long is it before the shirt will actually ship?
02:50:03.000 We're going to put the order in on the 15th.
02:50:05.000 So then how long will it be until they actually get it?
02:50:08.000 It's on the side.
02:50:08.000 I think it'll be a couple of weeks.
02:50:10.000 Couple of weeks.
02:50:10.000 You can handle a couple of weeks, folks.
02:50:12.000 Give me something to look forward to.
02:50:13.000 Plus, if you get them now, it's $20.
02:50:15.000 And if you wait, it's $2 extra!
02:50:18.000 And you can't do that.
02:50:19.000 Whoa!
02:50:19.000 Duncan, you're crazy.
02:50:20.000 You're a marketing genius.
02:50:21.000 I like how you do.
02:50:22.000 You give them a penalty.
02:50:23.000 My web guy, Steve, came up with that.
02:50:24.000 That guy sounds like a creep.
02:50:26.000 No, he's an awesome guy.
02:50:27.000 I know he is.
02:50:27.000 And he loves this show.
02:50:28.000 He's a gimmicky motherfucker.
02:50:30.000 Yeah, he's great.
02:50:31.000 Just kidding.
02:50:31.000 I can't help myself.
02:50:32.000 I love you, Steve.
02:50:33.000 You're the greatest ever.
02:50:34.000 Steve, I don't even know you and I love you, but you are me and I am you.
02:50:36.000 We already established that.
02:50:38.000 Holla!
02:50:39.000 We'll be doing more podcasts this week.
02:50:40.000 I'm not sure who.
02:50:41.000 I'm working out the next couple of ones this week, but more Red Band as well.
02:50:44.000 Don't worry.
02:50:45.000 We'll bring my little buddy back into the mix.
02:50:48.000 And so I want to thank everybody that came to New York this past weekend.
02:50:51.000 We had the fucking time of our lives.
02:50:53.000 It was a blast.
02:50:53.000 I mean, you can't get better than that.
02:50:55.000 I played it yesterday.
02:50:56.000 I played the audio of Joey Diaz going on stage.
02:51:01.000 Oh my god!
02:51:02.000 It was insane!
02:51:03.000 I'll pull it up again just because it's so ridiculous.
02:51:05.000 I gotta go piss.
02:51:06.000 It doesn't...
02:51:06.000 Go ahead.
02:51:07.000 When you go piss, I'll play this.
02:51:10.000 Because I played it for Mrs. Rogan and she almost didn't believe it.
02:51:15.000 It doesn't...
02:51:16.000 It really doesn't seem real.
02:51:18.000 This is Joey Coco Diaz going on stage in New York.
02:51:22.000 He hasn't even had a chance to say a word yet.
02:51:38.000 He hasn't even had a chance to say a word yet.
02:51:50.000 He had a stop down.
02:51:51.000 It was just crazy.
02:51:53.000 It really represents to all of us some sort of a real obvious paradigm shift.
02:52:02.000 And I can speak for every one of us, for Joey, for Ari, for Duncan.
02:52:07.000 We're very, very thankful that all this is happening.
02:52:10.000 And for me personally, as a guy who, you know, I was the one who was on television and I was the one who was taking these guys on the road with me, to see guys like Joey all of a sudden become recognized and people appreciate him for what he is.
02:52:28.000 Joey has always had a hard time with people recognizing his brilliance because he's so crazy and out there and wild with his comedy that until he was famous, until he was an established personality like he is now, it's almost like it's too hot to handle.
02:52:44.000 It's too much to deal with.
02:52:46.000 Nobody wanted to have him middle.
02:52:48.000 That was a big deal with Joey Diaz.
02:52:50.000 He couldn't get work on the road because he couldn't headline, but he couldn't middle.
02:52:54.000 Because nobody wanted Joey Diaz on in front of him.
02:52:57.000 Because he would just go up and fucking destroy.
02:53:00.000 But my philosophy of comedy came out of the Comedy Store.
02:53:04.000 And first of all, what that meant was that we were all brothers in the Comedy Store.
02:53:09.000 So it was like, if I was going to take anybody on the road with me, I take my Comedy Store brothers.
02:53:12.000 It was always Ari Shafir, it was always Duncan Trussell, it was different people, Sam Tripoli, different people that are Comedy Store brothers.
02:53:21.000 And Joey was always a Comedy Store brother.
02:53:23.000 And so when I started taking him on the road with me, there was two reasons.
02:53:27.000 One, because he was a Comedy Store brother.
02:53:29.000 And two, because the philosophy of the Comedy Store also was you wanted to go on with a bunch of other killers.
02:53:36.000 You didn't want to be the only guy that was good.
02:53:39.000 Comedy Store was about a bunch of different guys being good.
02:53:44.000 like the old outlaws of comedy you know with Karl Lebeau and Kinnison like there's a bunch of guys that were really good Ron shock there was a bunch of these dudes that were really good together and that you know so so taking guys like Joey on the road and exposing him to all these people and then seeing them go on stage in these fucking gigantic rounds of applause he gets it's beautiful I couldn't be happier it's amazing to me it's like it's like a vision that's sort of coming true
02:54:12.000 We have this idea, when we used to do these, you know, when we were calling ourselves a death squad, we used to do these little videos.
02:54:18.000 I hired Brian to do these death squad videos.
02:54:20.000 And some of them were really short, like one of them was Joey Diaz talking about mugging this gay guy, and the gay guy beat him up.
02:54:26.000 I mean, there's a bunch of them.
02:54:28.000 I'll probably get Brian to try to find them all and organize them and put them online, because some of them were really classic videos.
02:54:33.000 But the idea didn't really come to fruition in the terms of doing it through these little video clips.
02:54:39.000 The real way to get to know a guy like Joey is to get to know him on the podcast.
02:54:43.000 To hear him go off for hours and hours about criminal stories, about sneaking into some girl's fucking bedroom at 2 o'clock in the morning and eating her pussy and then escaping.
02:54:52.000 Just the crazy shit that he did.
02:54:54.000 You know, the Lucy Snorbrich story has become so big that a guy in Atlanta...
02:54:59.000 Did you see the stickers that he made?
02:55:01.000 Yep.
02:55:02.000 He had, hello, my name is Lucy Snorbush teaching stickers.
02:55:07.000 They're amazing, man.
02:55:08.000 To see that happening and to see it all come out of this one idea that, man, I've got this really talented group of friends and I think that if we all stick together and sort of help each other out and pump each other up, we make each other better.
02:55:24.000 We make each other funnier and we create a bigger footprint of positive energy.
02:55:30.000 All of us together have one giant footprint of positive energy.
02:55:34.000 But it has to be only that.
02:55:36.000 And that's why it was very important to resolve this whole issue with you and Brian.
02:55:42.000 As I said, it's not a clear-cut case of either one person having done the right thing.
02:55:49.000 And there's errors made on both sides, both in...
02:55:52.000 The actual act itself and in the discussion of the act afterwards.
02:55:56.000 There's some incorrect thinking and there's some negative thinking going on.
02:55:59.000 But hopefully we'll work all that shit out.
02:56:02.000 The most important thing is we're all of us in this fucking thing together.
02:56:08.000 And the less negative bullshit that you can spread, the more forgiveness that you can give, the more you can call people up and go, I'm fucking sorry.
02:56:18.000 I'm really sorry.
02:56:18.000 And the more the person listening can go, it's all good, dude.
02:56:22.000 The more we can do that in this life, the more we realize that we're all capable in various situations and in various circumstances of making colossal mistakes.
02:56:32.000 It doesn't necessarily mean you're a horrible person.
02:56:35.000 It just means sometimes we don't respond well to stress.
02:56:37.000 Sometimes we don't respond well to character issues and we need to learn and we need to grow.
02:56:42.000 And you may be more perfect than I am.
02:56:44.000 You may be further ahead.
02:56:46.000 But show me.
02:56:48.000 Show me how you got there.
02:56:50.000 Don't chastise.
02:56:51.000 Don't be angry and don't hate.
02:56:53.000 Try to elevate.
02:56:54.000 We can all make this.
02:56:56.000 We're not going to make utopia.
02:56:57.000 It doesn't exist.
02:56:59.000 But we can all make our environment and the people we come in contact with a little bit better.
02:57:03.000 Amen.
02:57:05.000 My recording will stop in three minutes.
02:57:07.000 I just got a warning from Ustream.
02:57:08.000 Listen.
02:57:09.000 Power to the people.
02:57:11.000 I love all you dirty bitches.
02:57:12.000 We do.
02:57:13.000 And we'll be back soon.
02:57:14.000 Thanks to The Fleshlight.
02:57:16.000 Go to JoeRogan.net.
02:57:17.000 Click on the link for The Fleshlight.
02:57:18.000 Enter in the code DaveRogan and you will save yourself some money.
02:57:20.000 And thank you to Onnit.com.
02:57:22.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Enter in the code name ROGAN. And you will get 10% off any and all orders.
02:57:28.000 Thank you for everybody.
02:57:30.000 Thank you for everybody for tuning in.
02:57:32.000 That sounds like my Brazilian translation.
02:57:35.000 Thank you everybody for tuning in.
02:57:36.000 And we love the fuck out of you.
02:57:37.000 Love you.