The Joe Rogan Experience - May 07, 2024


Joe Rogan Experience #2146 - Deric Poston

Topics
apartment studio idea donuts Brian Simpson's bit about George Washington vaccine injury Brian Simpson planning for the future Dave Chappelle Ultra Marathon Challenge look how jacked he was Tim Dogg and N.W.A beef staying on the path Kill Tony career development desperate comedian trans porn street fights genocide protest mules
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Deric Poston
Mentioned
Tony H. Cliff Joey Diaz Brian Simpson Dave Chappelle FaceTimes Derek Poston Lenny Clark Kendrick Lamar Joe Rogan Podcast Andrew Schultz Damon Wayans Tim Dogg Marshall Drake George Washington William Montgomery Shane Gillis Adam Curry Bobby Lee Kill Tony Cam Patterson and 126 more
Joe Rogan Experience #2145 - Colin Quinn Joe Rogan Experience #2147 - Mike Baker

Episode Stats


Length

3 hours and 2 minutes

Words per minute

197.73

Word count

36,046

Sentence count

4,690

Harmful content

Misogyny

99

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,257

sentences flagged

Hate speech

87

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Joe and his brother, Derek, talk about how they need a studio in their club, and how they're going to get one. They also talk about their favorite donut shops in LA, and why they don't like pizza. Joe also talks about how he's not a fan of pizza and how he doesn't like it at all. Joe and Derek also discuss how they don t like pizza at all, and what it's like to not be able to eat it. Joe also explains why he doesn t like it and why he thinks it's a bad thing. And they talk about what they would do if they had a podcast studio in the club they work in, but they have no room for it. Joe talks about his love of donuts and how much he hates it, and Derek tries to convince him that he should get an apartment with a view of the city, but it's only a few blocks away from his club, but he needs a studio to do it in order to make the most efficient use of the space they have, and it's not only efficient but also cheap and cheap but also has the space to do the best job they can do the job they need to be the best they can, and they have the money to do them in the best way possible, and the time they can afford to get the most out of their time and money they can get the best of what they have right now, and most importantly, they can have the best quality of life they can give them the best possible day-to-day experience they can achieve the most of their day to day lives they can provide them the most satisfaction and the best experience possible. Joe and his life is not only gets better every day and they can they get in the most importantly they deserve, they deserve the most amazing day to have the most beautiful day of their best day they get, and that's the most they deserve. Check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience is a podcast by day, by night, all day, and by night they deserve it, so they get it all they get to do, and more. This is the Joe Rogans Podcast by night. Thanks for listening, Joe, thank you for listening to this podcast, Joe and Jamie, and thank you, and good night, and love you, bye, bye. Thank you for tuning in, Joe. XOXO. -P.S. -J.J.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
00:00:12.000 Derek!
00:00:13.000 My brother!
00:00:14.000 My man!
00:00:14.000 What's happening?
00:00:17.000 We've had a million conversations like this in the green room.
00:00:21.000 We've already done like a thousand podcasts.
00:00:23.000 This is my every night right here. 1.00
00:00:24.000 We need a fucking studio in that club. 0.99
00:00:27.000 We need to put a podcast studio in that club. 0.99
00:00:29.000 I've been thinking about it, but we don't have the space for it.
00:00:32.000 Yeah, where would it go?
00:00:33.000 It wouldn't go anywhere.
00:00:34.000 There's no place.
00:00:36.000 It's very efficient.
00:00:38.000 We have all the space.
00:00:41.000 I think what we need is an apartment.
00:00:44.000 We need an apartment close.
00:00:46.000 So we can just go right over.
00:00:47.000 Go right over.
00:00:48.000 Like an apartment that's just set up as a studio.
00:00:50.000 When you get in there, it's just all studio.
00:00:53.000 That would be nice, Joe.
00:00:54.000 Yeah, because there's so many apartments that are available in that area, right?
00:00:57.000 I just got one.
00:00:58.000 Yeah, Jamie just got one.
00:00:59.000 Let's go, Jamie!
00:01:00.000 Should get next door so I don't have a neighbor.
00:01:02.000 Oh, that's not a bad idea.
00:01:03.000 How far away are you from my club?
00:01:05.000 Two blocks.
00:01:06.000 Ooh, let's go.
00:01:08.000 Is the next door neighbor open?
00:01:10.000 I think they all are.
00:01:10.000 Oh, that'd be perfect.
00:01:11.000 It'd give you the keys.
00:01:12.000 Wait till you see my view.
00:01:13.000 Ooh, that's what I want.
00:01:15.000 I want a view like that because, like, how dope would that be?
00:01:17.000 Late night, all of us chilling, windows, see the city.
00:01:22.000 I was going to do that in downtown LA. Really?
00:01:25.000 Yeah, but then I went to downtown LA. I'm like, oh my god.
00:01:29.000 And I brought my family.
00:01:30.000 And I brought my daughters when they were young. 0.96
00:01:33.000 And I was like, oh my god, am I gonna have to kill somebody?
00:01:35.000 It was crazy. 0.97
00:01:37.000 This is pre-pandemic, man. 1.00
00:01:39.000 This is before the shit hit the fan. 0.99
00:01:41.000 I'm like, people were just pissing all over the place. 0.99
00:01:43.000 It smelled terrible.
00:01:44.000 There's some really good donut place that's in downtown LA. So we were like, let's...
00:01:51.000 Go get some donuts.
00:01:52.000 Let's get crazy.
00:01:53.000 Let's just go find.
00:01:54.000 So we wound up going to the one in Pasadena.
00:01:57.000 Or Glendale?
00:01:58.000 There's one somewhere else.
00:02:00.000 There's one somewhere else that's also like that.
00:02:03.000 Silver Lake?
00:02:05.000 It was a lot of hippies.
00:02:06.000 It was the total opposite.
00:02:08.000 I'm going to take hippies all day. 1.00
00:02:11.000 I'll take woke people with fucking green hair all day. 1.00
00:02:15.000 All day over I Am Legend? 1.00
00:02:17.000 Full on I Am Legend.
00:02:19.000 Full on I Am Legend.
00:02:21.000 Yeah.
00:02:22.000 To go down there and get a donut, though, it's worth it.
00:02:24.000 LA donuts are the best. 0.90
00:02:25.000 It's not even fucking close. 0.94
00:02:26.000 Really? 0.84
00:02:26.000 I think so. 0.84
00:02:27.000 Kind of like a New York bagel.
00:02:28.000 It's something about certain breads, I feel like, in certain places that hit different. 0.98
00:02:32.000 Bro, when Krispy Kreme's coming right out of the oven, it's hard to fuck with anything else. 0.99
00:02:36.000 Nothing. 0.98
00:02:37.000 Those glazed ones, the maple glazed, when they're coming right out.
00:02:41.000 Oh, Joe!
00:02:43.000 So good.
00:02:44.000 So good. 1.00
00:02:45.000 You fucked me up though. 1.00
00:02:46.000 I haven't had bread, Joe. 1.00
00:02:47.000 I haven't really had bread.
00:02:49.000 I mean maybe twice since we did the carnival.
00:02:51.000 Good.
00:02:51.000 Maybe twice.
00:02:52.000 Good. 0.99
00:02:53.000 You fucked it up. 0.99
00:02:53.000 Every now and then it's okay. 0.99
00:02:55.000 Every now and then it's okay.
00:02:56.000 The real problem is when it becomes a part of your diet.
00:03:00.000 When it's a normal part of your diet.
00:03:01.000 When I eat a piece of pizza, my body's like, yo, what are you doing?
00:03:04.000 I'm like, relax.
00:03:05.000 We're having a drink.
00:03:06.000 Have a pizza.
00:03:06.000 Come on.
00:03:07.000 And then I don't eat for a while.
00:03:09.000 Let it clear out of my system.
00:03:11.000 Then I go back to eat and clean.
00:03:13.000 But if you have that as a normal part of your life, it's just like all these things compound, right?
00:03:18.000 You smoke too many blunts, that compounds.
00:03:22.000 You eat too much bad food, that compounds.
00:03:25.000 Look at that.
00:03:28.000 Jamie, what are you doing?
00:03:29.000 Did you post this?
00:03:30.000 Oh my god, look at that.
00:03:34.000 That is just diabetes in food form.
00:03:37.000 It just makes me want to feel sick. 1.00
00:03:40.000 Like, I'll take that temporary mouth pleasure for hours of feeling like dog shit. 1.00
00:03:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:03:47.000 Yeah, Joe.
00:03:48.000 Oh, it feels so good.
00:03:49.000 Yeah, the bread thing.
00:03:50.000 Joe, this was the first time in my life I hadn't had Hot Cheetos every day.
00:03:56.000 Would you prefer Hot Cheetos over Takis? 1.00
00:03:59.000 Because I know a lot of people are very...
00:04:00.000 Love Takis.
00:04:01.000 I'm a...
00:04:01.000 That's the black in me, I think, because I'm a Hot Cheeto.
00:04:04.000 Mexicans love the Takis. 1.00
00:04:05.000 They love the Takis. 0.99
00:04:06.000 You know, I really like them crunchy Cheetos, the little tinier ones, the more crunchy ones.
00:04:10.000 What are those called?
00:04:11.000 To me, those are the regulars, and then you got the puffs. 1.00
00:04:13.000 I'll fuck with a puff. 1.00
00:04:14.000 Oh, when I think of Cheetos, I always think of puffs. 1.00
00:04:17.000 Interesting.
00:04:17.000 I think of the ones you're thinking of, the little ones that are like harder.
00:04:20.000 Yeah.
00:04:21.000 Yeah, I like those.
00:04:22.000 Yeah, I've had them every day of my life, Joe, until you said, hey, let's do the carnivore diet. 0.99
00:04:27.000 I'm fucking 33. That's ridiculous. 1.00
00:04:30.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00
00:04:31.000 You should be eating that. 0.97
00:04:31.000 You know Fritos, those little corn chips? 0.97
00:04:33.000 Yeah.
00:04:34.000 We used those to start a fire in Alaska when we were camping.
00:04:40.000 What?
00:04:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:42.000 One of the dudes that works for my friend Steve Rinella told us that they're very flammable.
00:04:47.000 I'm like, really?
00:04:48.000 And so we used that to start a fire.
00:04:50.000 We were in Prince Edward's Island, which is Prince of Wales Island?
00:04:55.000 Which one?
00:04:56.000 Prince Edward's?
00:04:57.000 Which one's the one in Alaska?
00:05:00.000 Prince Edward's.
00:05:01.000 Prince of Wales, what is that?
00:05:03.000 I don't even know if that's a real place.
00:05:05.000 Prince Edward's, right?
00:05:07.000 Oh.
00:05:08.000 What's the one in Alaska?
00:05:12.000 What is the one that's in Alaska?
00:05:18.000 What was the other one he said?
00:05:19.000 It's not Prince Edward's Island?
00:05:20.000 No, that one's near Maine.
00:05:22.000 Really?
00:05:22.000 That's what the map said.
00:05:23.000 Fuck! 1.00
00:05:24.000 I can't remember the island. 1.00
00:05:25.000 Anyway, um, the island in Alaska, well, Google, because it's one of the most rainy places on Earth. 0.91
00:05:31.000 Brian Cowan and I did a TV show from there with, uh, with, with Meteor, but it rained for seven, eight days, whatever the fuck we're there for. 0.83
00:05:39.000 It rained every day. 0.92
00:05:40.000 All day.
00:05:41.000 What's that?
00:05:41.000 Prince of Wales.
00:05:42.000 Okay, it's Prince of Wales.
00:05:44.000 It rained every day.
00:05:45.000 And one day, it didn't rain for like 10 hours. 0.99
00:05:48.000 And we're like, dude, we're gonna start a fucking fire. 0.99
00:05:50.000 We're gonna figure out how to start a fire. 0.98
00:05:51.000 And so we got like sticks and shit like that's under everything else. 0.94
00:05:57.000 So everything got rained on. 0.81
00:05:59.000 Oh, is there a video of it?
00:06:01.000 Not you guys, but somebody else doing it.
00:06:02.000 Yeah, because we didn't film us doing this.
00:06:04.000 But Fritos are so covered in life-stealing oil that they act like a fire starter, man.
00:06:12.000 Look at this.
00:06:13.000 They're great fire starters.
00:06:15.000 Like, if you want a barbecue, and you know, you don't want to go buy...
00:06:19.000 You ever seen those things, tumbleweeds?
00:06:20.000 You know what a tumbleweed is?
00:06:21.000 No, sir.
00:06:23.000 Tumbleweeds are these little, it's like little shaved pieces of wood that's like bundled up together and they must be soaked in some kind of flammable liquid. 0.81
00:06:35.000 But if you want to start like a grill, you put one of those bitches down and then you put some sticks around that and light that little tumbleweed and woo, you're good to go. 1.00
00:06:42.000 And then you start stacking logs. 0.97
00:06:45.000 Yeah, but you can use Fritos instead.
00:06:48.000 That's my point.
00:06:49.000 You don't need those tumbleweeds. 0.99
00:06:51.000 It probably won't be as flammable, but that shit can't be good. 1.00
00:06:55.000 And I'm eating that shit? 1.00
00:06:57.000 Fritos are delicious. 1.00
00:06:58.000 They're fucking great. 0.99
00:06:59.000 Put a little chili on them. 1.00
00:07:00.000 Come on, fuck the chili powder with them. 1.00
00:07:02.000 What are those chilis where people add Fritos? 1.00
00:07:06.000 They add Fritos to the chili.
00:07:07.000 People do that all the time.
00:07:09.000 Yeah, I like that.
00:07:09.000 I like the crunch.
00:07:10.000 A little crunch is good.
00:07:12.000 Full experience, right?
00:07:14.000 The tangy, the spicy, a little cheese in there. 1.00
00:07:18.000 Yo, how the fuck are you not fat, dog? 1.00
00:07:20.000 You got it in you. 1.00
00:07:21.000 You're supposed to be fat as shit. 1.00
00:07:23.000 Bro, it's just discipline. 1.00
00:07:24.000 I get fat.
00:07:25.000 I'm pretty lean right now.
00:07:27.000 Now I'm under 200, which is rare.
00:07:29.000 Wow.
00:07:29.000 I'm like 197, which is nice.
00:07:31.000 But I've just been real clean on the diet the last few weeks.
00:07:34.000 The last few weeks, I started getting a little fat.
00:07:37.000 I start feeling a little bit of this, and I start paranoid.
00:07:39.000 My gut starts sticking out.
00:07:41.000 I would get it straight to the gut.
00:07:43.000 Because I have pretty thick abs, too. 0.99
00:07:45.000 So any fat that goes on top of this shit right here, it gets gross. 0.99
00:07:50.000 And it pokes out right here, and it just starts looking gross. 0.99
00:07:55.000 I just see weakness. 1.00
00:07:56.000 When I see myself in the mirror, I'm like, you weak bitch. 1.00
00:07:59.000 You weak bitch. 1.00
00:08:01.000 You can't stop eating spaghetti. 1.00
00:08:03.000 I eat so much food, bro.
00:08:05.000 I eat so much food.
00:08:06.000 It's crazy how much I eat.
00:08:08.000 I'm a glutton, like a real glutton.
00:08:11.000 Man, I've seen you put it down, brother.
00:08:12.000 Bro, I'll eat two pizzas.
00:08:15.000 I'll eat two pizzas.
00:08:16.000 I'll eat that whole pizza.
00:08:17.000 There's another one right there.
00:08:18.000 It's warm.
00:08:18.000 Is it warm?
00:08:19.000 Yeah.
00:08:19.000 I'll just go right in on that pizza.
00:08:21.000 I'm not hungry.
00:08:22.000 I'm not hungry.
00:08:23.000 It's just gluttony.
00:08:25.000 I've seen you take down so many Golden Tiger burgers, dog, when you get going.
00:08:29.000 Bro, that one time we went out, I ate four of them.
00:08:32.000 I ate four double cheeseburgers.
00:08:35.000 Gordon Ryan was freaking out.
00:08:37.000 Gordon Ryan was with us. 0.99
00:08:38.000 He's like, how the fuck are you eating? 0.99
00:08:39.000 I'm like, dude, when I get going, when I get going, the wolf comes out. 0.99
00:08:44.000 Oh, yeah.
00:08:44.000 The wolf just went...
00:08:47.000 The wolves just want to keep eating. 1.00
00:08:49.000 I gotta keep that motherfucker in his cage. 1.00
00:08:52.000 Yeah, you can go, bro. 1.00
00:08:53.000 That's my favorite, Joe.
00:08:54.000 When Joe starts drinking in the green room.
00:08:56.000 When Joe starts drinking in the green room.
00:08:58.000 Oh, you get going, baby. 1.00
00:09:00.000 We start talking shit. 1.00
00:09:01.000 Oh, it's the best. 1.00
00:09:02.000 You start dancing?
00:09:03.000 Oh, bro, it's over.
00:09:03.000 Who has more fun than us?
00:09:05.000 Who has more fun than us?
00:09:06.000 Nobody, bro.
00:09:07.000 Oh, come on. 0.87
00:09:08.000 We're in there dancing.
00:09:08.000 We're dancing like all the time.
00:09:10.000 No self-consciousness.
00:09:12.000 Everybody's just having a good time.
00:09:13.000 Oh, it's my favorite.
00:09:15.000 God, it's the best place in the world.
00:09:16.000 Oh, the music's going.
00:09:17.000 Oh, the tunes are going.
00:09:19.000 And everybody's going up. 0.96
00:09:20.000 And you're coming in from a set and everybody's already dancing and shitting on Brian for saying something crazy. 0.98
00:09:27.000 And Tony's just roasting him. 0.99
00:09:28.000 And you're dying.
00:09:29.000 And you're like, this is the best night of my life, bro.
00:09:32.000 I love when Brian comes off stage and he walks in the room and he goes, whoo!
00:09:36.000 Because you know we just laid it down.
00:09:38.000 Oh my god.
00:09:39.000 Woo! 0.99
00:09:39.000 Bro, when he was doing that WAP bit, when he really tightened up that bit, when it was just a... 0.99
00:09:45.000 That bit was just assassination.
00:09:47.000 That bit was one of those bits where I would go out there and just sit and watch it. 0.99
00:09:51.000 I watched it like, shit, watched that bit 50 times. 0.99
00:09:54.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:09:55.000 I just wanted to see that bit.
00:09:56.000 I would ask him, are you going to close with WAP? Are you going to close with WAP? He wouldn't even always close with it.
00:10:00.000 I wouldn't.
00:10:01.000 He goes, ah, the bit's like 11 minutes long.
00:10:02.000 I'm like, please.
00:10:04.000 Please, just do it for me.
00:10:05.000 It would be his whole set.
00:10:07.000 It would be his whole set.
00:10:08.000 But it murders.
00:10:09.000 It murders so hard.
00:10:10.000 And it's so good.
00:10:11.000 It's like, that's such a quintessential Brian Simpson bit.
00:10:14.000 Yeah.
00:10:15.000 Because it's clever. 0.98
00:10:17.000 It's ridiculous. 0.94
00:10:21.000 It's historical. 0.92
00:10:22.000 He talks about him.
00:10:23.000 It gives you real facts.
00:10:25.000 Yeah.
00:10:25.000 It's so smart and it's about what?
00:10:27.000 And it's full circle. 1.00
00:10:28.000 It's about pussy. 1.00
00:10:33.000 Yeah, there's science involved. 1.00
00:10:34.000 He explains how you multiply shit. 0.99
00:10:38.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:10:38.000 You know, like, oh my god, it's genius. 1.00
00:10:40.000 Yeah, it's such a good bit. 0.73
00:10:42.000 There's certain bits where you hear the bit and you go, god damn, that's a good bit. 1.00
00:10:47.000 Like Shane Gillis' Navy SEAL bit. 0.98
00:10:49.000 God damn, that's a good bit. 0.96
00:10:51.000 You know my favorite of his bits though, I think, is the George Washington bit. 0.99
00:10:55.000 For that very reason.
00:10:56.000 Yeah, the teeth, bro.
00:10:57.000 Well, it's also because it's interesting, and it's hilarious, and you know that's a bit that took some time.
00:11:04.000 That's not a bit that the first time you do it on stage, you get that product.
00:11:08.000 Yes.
00:11:09.000 Tony has a few jokes that the very first time he does them on stage, they murder, and it's done.
00:11:14.000 Yeah.
00:11:14.000 The bit's done.
00:11:15.000 But Shane's bit about George Washington, that's a long bit, man.
00:11:21.000 That bit is complex.
00:11:22.000 There's a lot of twists and turns.
00:11:24.000 Yeah, bro.
00:11:25.000 Just the angles he takes.
00:11:26.000 It's so cool.
00:11:28.000 It's so cool.
00:11:29.000 With Brian Joe, I started with Brian.
00:11:32.000 He was that.
00:11:33.000 What you're seeing now, he was that.
00:11:36.000 Really?
00:11:36.000 I met him, Joe, and he was that, bro.
00:11:38.000 It was the coolest thing to be around that guy.
00:11:42.000 Because I think he's just the greatest, one of the greatest minds ever.
00:11:45.000 And I'm lucky to be one of his best friends.
00:11:47.000 That's how I feel.
00:11:47.000 He's very humble, too.
00:11:49.000 Very, very humble.
00:11:50.000 You know? 1.00
00:11:50.000 I mean, until someone's talking shit to him. 1.00
00:11:53.000 Well, then he's going to destroy you. 1.00
00:11:54.000 He'll shut you the fuck up, bud. 0.99
00:11:56.000 But, yeah, he's just got a unique way of looking at things. 0.98
00:12:00.000 And that's the wonderful thing about comedy.
00:12:02.000 I hate that word, wonderful, but it just was the right word for the job.
00:12:06.000 That's the thing about you meet so many different people, and we all have this one thing in common.
00:12:11.000 This one thing in common.
00:12:12.000 We like making people laugh.
00:12:13.000 We like this thing we do, this art form.
00:12:15.000 You know, that's it.
00:12:16.000 That's the only thing...
00:12:17.000 I mean, we vary so much in so many different ways.
00:12:21.000 Yeah.
00:12:22.000 But we all have this, like...
00:12:25.000 Amazing bond like that place is like it's the Comedy Store times.
00:12:30.000 I don't know.
00:12:31.000 Yeah times three times four something like that.
00:12:34.000 Yeah, but also we feel so like We were hit the just that we were here.
00:12:39.000 We all came before it opened.
00:12:40.000 We were here to feel that but you were an early adopter I I felt like...
00:12:52.000 One thing, though, about this, that's one of the reasons why I felt like I had to do this.
00:12:57.000 Because I knew all you guys had come out.
00:12:59.000 You guys are coming out here when we were at Vulcan during the lockdown.
00:13:03.000 Yep.
00:13:04.000 Thank God for my wife, bro.
00:13:05.000 That was her call.
00:13:06.000 That was my wife. 1.00
00:13:07.000 She saw you guys there.
00:13:09.000 It hadn't even crossed my mind yet.
00:13:11.000 I was still in pandemic mind of like, we're just here.
00:13:13.000 This is what it is.
00:13:14.000 And then she said it.
00:13:15.000 She was like, we're going to Austin, Texas.
00:13:17.000 And I was like, what?
00:13:18.000 She's like...
00:13:19.000 They're up!
00:13:20.000 Everybody's getting up!
00:13:21.000 And I'm like, oh! 0.98
00:13:22.000 And I was like, what the fuck am I doing? 0.98
00:13:25.000 I'm going to Austin, Texas! 0.98
00:13:26.000 It moved March 2021. It was crazy because so many people were mad at us.
00:13:30.000 They were mad at us for doing shows. 1.00
00:13:32.000 I'm just like, are you out of your fucking mind? 0.99
00:13:34.000 Are you gonna just not do shows anymore? 1.00
00:13:35.000 Are you gonna not talk to people?
00:13:37.000 Like, what are we doing?
00:13:38.000 Like, how long does this go on?
00:13:40.000 How long does this go on?
00:13:41.000 In LA, the answer was a year and a half.
00:13:43.000 Year and a half.
00:13:44.000 Out here, it was six weeks.
00:13:47.000 They start just shooting guns in the air. 1.00
00:13:49.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:13:52.000 I saw old people with no masks on out here early on. 1.00
00:13:55.000 Oh, you can feel it. 1.00
00:13:56.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:13:58.000 God, I remember when it happened. 1.00
00:13:59.000 I remember when it happened.
00:14:00.000 I was talking to Brendan.
00:14:01.000 And right when I said, man, they're going to hold LA down for a year. 1.00
00:14:04.000 He said, Derek, you're a fucking idiot. 1.00
00:14:05.000 That would never happen. 1.00
00:14:06.000 Yeah.
00:14:07.000 Cut two.
00:14:07.000 Cut two.
00:14:08.000 I mean, I was like, oh my god.
00:14:10.000 Well, I knew it.
00:14:11.000 I felt something.
00:14:12.000 I didn't know if they were going to lock it down for a year, but I knew LA was never going to be the same.
00:14:16.000 Because there was a new attitude about law enforcement that happened after George Floyd.
00:14:21.000 Yeah.
00:14:21.000 I'm like, oh, this place is in trouble.
00:14:23.000 Because when they had those cop cars lit up on fire, was it on the 110?
00:14:27.000 Is that what it was? 0.99
00:14:27.000 Yeah, and they were on fire and cinder blocks and shit. 0.99
00:14:30.000 Yeah, spray painted on fire, smashed everything. 0.97
00:14:32.000 They were doing smash and grabs everywhere, and they were just letting them do it.
00:14:36.000 Like in Beverly Hills, all they were doing was not letting people shop when it was dark out.
00:14:42.000 That was it.
00:14:43.000 So during the day or at nighttime, everybody just smash and grabbed.
00:14:47.000 It was like, the smash and grabs on Beverly Hills were insane.
00:14:51.000 It was everywhere. 1.00
00:14:52.000 That shit was crazy. 1.00
00:14:54.000 Crazy. 1.00
00:14:54.000 Crazy. 1.00
00:14:55.000 It was also people waiting for people after they were shopping.
00:14:59.000 They were just stealing from them after they would go shopping at the mall in Beverly Hills.
00:15:02.000 Yeah.
00:15:03.000 Like, nice places in Beverly Hills, nice stores.
00:15:05.000 Yeah, West Hollywood people were getting robbed, bro.
00:15:07.000 It was crazy.
00:15:07.000 Bro.
00:15:08.000 I thought that shit people were getting robbed. 0.99
00:15:10.000 I saw there was a car full of dudes that was parked in front of this gated community and they had no license plate on their car. 0.99
00:15:17.000 And I was driving in and I remember looking at these dudes and them looking at me.
00:15:21.000 I'm like, these are not dudes that are up to anything good.
00:15:24.000 Yeah.
00:15:25.000 And they have a car with no license plate on and they're outside of this gated community.
00:15:30.000 And they could have been just waiting for the thing to go up so they could sneak in behind it, you know?
00:15:35.000 Yeah.
00:15:35.000 I don't know what they were doing, but I remember thinking, like, this is going to escalate.
00:15:39.000 You're gonna get more of this.
00:15:41.000 Then I saw, I was passing by this clothing store, and I saw these dudes smash the window and run inside.
00:15:48.000 Crazy.
00:15:48.000 In Woodland Hills.
00:15:50.000 In Woodland Hills! 1.00
00:15:51.000 It's like the sleepiest, most boring-ass fucking neighborhood. 1.00
00:15:55.000 Yeah, that's supposed to be the nicest. 1.00
00:15:57.000 Dr. Dre has a house out there.
00:15:59.000 Yeah.
00:16:02.000 That's where Whitney lives.
00:16:05.000 Yeah, that's where Schaub lives.
00:16:07.000 It's like, that area is nice.
00:16:09.000 And they were smashing with it.
00:16:11.000 They lit a dumpster on fire and pushed it in front of the front door at Target.
00:16:16.000 My friend was in there.
00:16:17.000 My friend was in there.
00:16:18.000 They yelled out through the loudspeaker.
00:16:20.000 They were telling everybody, put down everything you have.
00:16:23.000 Just don't go to the cash register.
00:16:25.000 Get out.
00:16:25.000 Get out now.
00:16:26.000 And they get outside and someone lit a fucking dumpster on fire. 0.99
00:16:30.000 Pushed it up against the door. 1.00
00:16:31.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00
00:16:32.000 Bro. 1.00
00:16:33.000 I'm so glad we got out of there, Joe.
00:16:34.000 So when I came out here, it was like, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet.
00:16:37.000 Okay.
00:16:38.000 Is the world gone mad or is just LA gone mad?
00:16:41.000 Is it parts of the world gone mad?
00:16:43.000 It's like the scary thing about it was it was an experiment.
00:16:47.000 Not for real.
00:16:48.000 I don't have this conspiracy theory that they did it on purpose.
00:16:51.000 I think it was a lab leak.
00:16:53.000 Really?
00:16:53.000 Yeah, it was accidental.
00:16:55.000 And I think there's a lot of funding involved in doing these fucking coronaviruses. 0.97
00:17:01.000 And there's also probably some... 0.98
00:17:04.000 It's probably biological weapons research, too.
00:17:08.000 They probably do, because they definitely do create viruses, and they work on viruses for bioweapons.
00:17:15.000 It's a real thing.
00:17:16.000 Like, bioweapons is a real thing.
00:17:18.000 I believe that.
00:17:19.000 It sounds terrifying that someone would release a weapon on a city to kill everybody, but that's real.
00:17:25.000 They really are.
00:17:26.000 And also, China and Russia, they're all doing...
00:17:29.000 I mean, they used gas in World War I. They just blew gas on people.
00:17:32.000 Brother!
00:17:32.000 Yeah!
00:17:33.000 Yeah.
00:17:33.000 I don't watch Viva Vendetta and think that's not possible.
00:17:35.000 That looks real.
00:17:37.000 Very real.
00:17:37.000 Very real.
00:17:38.000 That they would do something like that.
00:17:39.000 That could happen today again.
00:17:40.000 It could happen again.
00:17:41.000 But the point is, it's like...
00:17:44.000 I don't even remember my point.
00:17:45.000 My point was that these things, when they happen, they reveal how people react to them.
00:17:54.000 And people didn't react nearly as good as I'd hoped.
00:17:57.000 They sectioned themselves off in these tribes.
00:18:03.000 Yeah.
00:18:04.000 That was what was weird, man. 1.00
00:18:06.000 That shit broke people, Joe. 1.00
00:18:07.000 It broke people. 1.00
00:18:09.000 It broke people.
00:18:09.000 People still wear masks, Joe.
00:18:11.000 Oh my god, yeah.
00:18:12.000 It changed, like, who people are.
00:18:14.000 Like, they forgot that they used to not wear a mask.
00:18:16.000 You can tell.
00:18:17.000 Some comics from Moontower were walking down the street, and Ari saw him. 0.99
00:18:22.000 Ari saw this dude, and he had a fucking giant mask on his face. 0.98
00:18:25.000 One of them really fucking form-fit ones, secured down. 0.99
00:18:32.000 Just broken. 0.99
00:18:33.000 Yeah.
00:18:34.000 A lot of people were like that.
00:18:35.000 Broken.
00:18:36.000 Just broken.
00:18:37.000 But everybody got so tribal. 0.98
00:18:39.000 And it also, it gave people an opportunity to be cunts. 0.93
00:18:46.000 There was a lot of people in LA in particular and some in New York as well. 0.99
00:18:51.000 They're really miserable people and they were looking for an opportunity to shit on someone publicly because they felt like they could because they felt like that person was vulnerable because they were taking a controversial position. 0.98
00:19:04.000 Yes. 0.99
00:19:05.000 Whether it's a controversial position like saying I don't want to get vaccinated or it was a controversial position of doing shows live still.
00:19:14.000 I saw a comic blame someone else for the death of their mother.
00:19:19.000 Blame a comic that's doing shows for the death of their mother. 0.98
00:19:22.000 For the death of their mom?
00:19:24.000 Yeah, like, yo.
00:19:25.000 Yeah, maybe it was a respirator.
00:19:28.000 You know?
00:19:29.000 80% of the people they put them on. 1.00
00:19:31.000 I remember people saying that shit, though, Joe. 1.00
00:19:34.000 When I first moved here, people were doing shows and people were saying that, like, my grandmother's gonna die because of you. 1.00
00:19:39.000 Your grandmother's just gonna die, man! 0.96
00:19:41.000 Yeah, your grandmother's gonna die. 0.99
00:19:42.000 You're gonna die too, so am I. What are we doing? 0.83
00:19:44.000 Also, the solution is not everybody stay home for your grandmother and ruin children's lives.
00:19:51.000 That's never been the case.
00:19:53.000 Old people have always done the best that they can to make life safe for young people.
00:19:59.000 And by locking them down and by keeping them out of school and by making them wear masks, you didn't make the world safer.
00:20:05.000 You made it scarier.
00:20:07.000 You're gonna have more people with anxiety.
00:20:09.000 You could have more lost years of development.
00:20:11.000 You're gonna be missing out on your education.
00:20:14.000 There's nothing good about that.
00:20:16.000 Nothing good about that.
00:20:17.000 There's zero good about that. 1.00
00:20:18.000 And if you did it to protect old people, you're a fool. 1.00
00:20:20.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:20:21.000 You're a fool. 1.00
00:20:22.000 It ruined young people's lives. 1.00
00:20:23.000 There were people who missed their senior year or junior year.
00:20:25.000 They didn't have it.
00:20:25.000 And I think about it, that's like a year that you need in your life.
00:20:27.000 It's a memorable thing.
00:20:29.000 Bro, it became like a child sacrifice thing.
00:20:31.000 Like, they didn't care about the children.
00:20:33.000 They didn't care what was happening to them.
00:20:34.000 We have to protect our vulnerable.
00:20:36.000 It's not gonna protect them.
00:20:37.000 That's not how it works.
00:20:38.000 There was no science behind it. 0.96
00:20:40.000 In the age of science, What the fuck is wrong with my voice today? 0.95
00:20:45.000 Thank God I got a cough button. 0.98
00:20:47.000 I'm like a professional.
00:20:48.000 You have a cough button?
00:20:50.000 Yeah, we got a cough button. 1.00
00:20:50.000 If you had us cough, I should have gave that shit to Graham Hancock the other day. 1.00
00:20:54.000 Some people just cough. 0.99
00:20:56.000 But in the age of science and reason, people abandon science. 0.99
00:21:01.000 To confirm their worst fears and to confirm all their weird Anxieties and they started to use those which is the reason why people believe that a mask that you could breathe out of is gonna protect you from a virus that's Floating in the air or that you're gonna stop a respiratory virus by just keeping children out of school Shut the fuck up like shut the fuck up with all this yeah Or that all of a sudden the pharmaceutical drug company should be trusted like shut the fuck up you guys you're not you're not being reasonable You're acting like 0.99
00:21:31.000 pussies. 0.99
00:21:32.000 And I'm not saying you're acting like pussies because COVID wasn't dangerous. 1.00
00:21:35.000 Of course it was dangerous. 0.99
00:21:36.000 I'm saying you're acting like pussies and you're not willing to look at the truth because you're scared that it's going to go against this thing that you have in your head that's a narrative that you've been sticking to this whole time. 1.00
00:21:46.000 Yes. 0.99
00:21:47.000 Also, people just don't like to be like, oh man, I was wrong about that.
00:21:50.000 It's okay.
00:21:51.000 You're not a bad person to be like, man, COVID came and I kind of freaked out.
00:21:54.000 I kind of went too far.
00:21:56.000 It's okay.
00:21:57.000 You know when it gets them is when they get vaccine injured.
00:22:00.000 Chris Cuomo just came out and said he's got a vaccine injury. 1.00
00:22:04.000 That guy was pushing that shit on TV forever. 1.00
00:22:07.000 And he said he got it with his first dose and then he got it again with his second dose. 0.99
00:22:12.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for that cough.
00:22:15.000 I could have reached for that button.
00:22:16.000 I got lazy.
00:22:17.000 I could have just reached for that button.
00:22:18.000 I could have just pressed that button.
00:22:20.000 Wait, what's a vaccine injury?
00:22:22.000 Something happens when you get the COVID shot, you know, and it's not just the COVID shot.
00:22:27.000 There's people have adverse reactions to all kinds of medications, right?
00:22:32.000 But particularly to this one, this is one that the first time they ever rolled something out to billions of people worldwide.
00:22:40.000 And some people had terrible reactions.
00:22:43.000 And one of them apparently was Chris Cuomo.
00:22:47.000 Yeah, people get heart palpitations, bad blood work, they get clots.
00:22:51.000 There's a bunch of different confirmed side effects that happen.
00:22:56.000 Myocarditis is some.
00:22:57.000 Also, there's a thing about, you're supposed to, when you inject them, you're supposed to aspirate, which means when you inject it into the muscle, because it's intramuscular, you're supposed to pull back the syringe to make sure that you're not hitting a blood vessel.
00:23:12.000 And they never do that.
00:23:13.000 Even on the president.
00:23:15.000 If you watch the president get vaccinated on TV, and I don't think he got vaccinated on TV. What you mean, Joe?
00:23:19.000 I don't think they took that chance.
00:23:21.000 I think there was salt water in that thing.
00:23:22.000 Joe, don't say that! 1.00
00:23:23.000 I took that shit for real! 1.00
00:23:26.000 Well, I'm just saying on TV. I'm sure they probably vaccinated him. 1.00
00:23:29.000 Yeah.
00:23:30.000 Did you have a side effect?
00:23:31.000 Oh, I was sick as a dog.
00:23:33.000 Wife was fine. 1.00
00:23:34.000 I was fucked up. 0.99
00:23:35.000 What did it do to you? 0.99
00:23:36.000 It felt like I got into a car wreck or something.
00:23:38.000 I was just completely sore, really sick.
00:23:40.000 I remember being crazy tired.
00:23:42.000 Just tired.
00:23:42.000 For how long?
00:23:43.000 Like two days.
00:23:45.000 Then it bounced right back. 0.86
00:23:46.000 But it felt like, it was like, oh man, Derek, you're sick. 1.00
00:23:50.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:23:50.000 I think that's the normal reaction if it's working. 1.00
00:23:54.000 See, the problem is...
00:23:57.000 When you have a bad reaction, you know, your body reacts to it in a negative way.
00:24:01.000 Like, there's people that have had strokes and heart attacks, and people have died, like, right after the shot.
00:24:06.000 And, you know, no one wants to attribute it to the shot, but a bunch of injuries they have attributed definitely directly to the shot.
00:24:16.000 Yeah.
00:24:17.000 Have they confirmed it when it's happened?
00:24:19.000 They won't say it's zero.
00:24:20.000 They won't say it's zero.
00:24:22.000 But the real question is like, how many people?
00:24:24.000 How many people are being honest about it?
00:24:26.000 How many people are even telling people about it? 0.98
00:24:28.000 Because even though they feel like shit after they got vaccinated, even though they have health problems, they told people to get vaccinated. 0.98
00:24:33.000 They were... 0.99
00:24:33.000 So it takes like this big moment of bravery to sort of admit, just step out and admit I got caught up in the madness of it all and I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about and I was shaming people and telling people to do something. 0.99
00:24:49.000 Yeah.
00:24:50.000 This is New York Times now.
00:24:52.000 Now it's interesting because Alex Berenson wrote a piece about this.
00:24:56.000 He said it's hardcore gaslighting.
00:24:58.000 And his substack, if you go to his substack, it's very interesting.
00:25:01.000 But this is in New York Times.
00:25:03.000 Thousands believe COVID vaccines harm them.
00:25:05.000 Is anyone listening?
00:25:07.000 All vaccines have at least occasional side effects, but people who say they were injured by COVID vaccines believe their cases have been ignored.
00:25:13.000 Well, they have.
00:25:14.000 They have been ignored.
00:25:15.000 I have friends that have been ignored.
00:25:18.000 I never really hear that side of it, though.
00:25:19.000 That's crazy.
00:25:20.000 Yeah.
00:25:21.000 Well, if you're in that world, like, I got dragged into that world, unfortunately.
00:25:26.000 I did not want to be in that world. 0.85
00:25:28.000 I did not want to be in the world of arguing with people about medical information or medical facts or just whatever fucking pharmaceutical drug company propaganda you gotta battle against. 1.00
00:25:40.000 Like, who wants to be involved in that shit? 1.00
00:25:42.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:25:42.000 I'll just stay out of my life. 1.00
00:25:44.000 I'll stay out of yours.
00:25:44.000 You can trick people into doing this every year.
00:25:47.000 You do whatever you got to do.
00:25:48.000 But once you get dragged into it, you're like, oh, this is kind of evil.
00:25:52.000 They don't give up.
00:25:53.000 I knew it was evil when they were vaccinating kids, when they were forcing kids to get vaccinated because no data, I mean none, zero, said it was dangerous for kids.
00:26:04.000 All data pointed to that kids got over this very easy.
00:26:08.000 And that are elderly people.
00:26:09.000 Yeah.
00:26:10.000 My kids got it.
00:26:11.000 It was nothing.
00:26:12.000 It was nothing.
00:26:13.000 It's elderly people. 0.97
00:26:15.000 It's vulnerable people.
00:26:16.000 It's overweight people.
00:26:17.000 That was like a big percentage of the people that died.
00:26:19.000 Why do they want a vaccine?
00:26:20.000 For what reason?
00:26:22.000 They're making money off of it.
00:26:23.000 Yeah.
00:26:24.000 And also to help people feel better that are like super anxious, that are worried their kids are going to give it to them.
00:26:31.000 But it's... 1.00
00:26:34.000 It was a wild time, man, to watch the whole world lose its fucking mind. 0.99
00:26:37.000 It was a wild time. 0.99
00:26:38.000 And it was a perfect time for us to come out here.
00:26:41.000 It was perfect.
00:26:42.000 Perfect, Joe.
00:26:44.000 And we were right.
00:26:45.000 We were right, people.
00:26:46.000 We were right.
00:26:47.000 We were so right. 1.00
00:26:47.000 We fucking nailed that shit. 1.00
00:26:48.000 We were right. 1.00
00:26:49.000 You guys are all back to normal life now, except suckier. 0.95
00:26:52.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:26:52.000 You guys are back in L.A. You're back to normal life, but more dangerous, more crime, more sucky. 0.99
00:26:58.000 Shows are nowhere near as hot.
00:27:00.000 They are not as close to as hot as these shows in Austin, Texas.
00:27:04.000 Anywhere you go, Joe, in a three-block span, I can get up six times.
00:27:08.000 Sold-out shows, all hot.
00:27:11.000 Great lineups.
00:27:12.000 That iron sharpens iron feeling.
00:27:15.000 What I got to watch when I was at the store, parking cars and door-guying, and I got to see that.
00:27:20.000 Yeah.
00:27:20.000 So I know that, oh, this is happening here.
00:27:22.000 Yeah, we set up a destination.
00:27:24.000 It's a destination.
00:27:25.000 For comics, it's like they're going to go visit Disneyland.
00:27:27.000 And everybody's welcome, so they come all the time.
00:27:29.000 And so, you know, like last week, we got Colin Quinn, and Chris DiStefano, and Shane's in there all the time, and Schultz when he comes by, and Dave when he's in town. 0.66
00:27:39.000 And then surprise with, like, Howie Mandel or some shit. 0.99
00:27:41.000 You're like, what the fuck's Howie doing here? 0.99
00:27:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:27:43.000 Ron White's there all the time. 0.99
00:27:45.000 It's amazing.
00:27:46.000 It's amazing. 0.99
00:27:46.000 We're lucky as shit, man. 0.99
00:27:47.000 But it's almost like the universe wanted this to happen. 0.99
00:27:50.000 Because all the things that had to be in place for this to happen, they're all just sort of like...
00:27:56.000 You know how when you're driving and you just keep hitting green lights?
00:27:59.000 Like, the light's red, but as you're pulling up, like, do I have to slow down?
00:28:02.000 No green light!
00:28:03.000 Bam! 0.98
00:28:03.000 Let's go! 0.98
00:28:04.000 That's what it was like.
00:28:05.000 Like, at every point, we just kept hitting green lights.
00:28:07.000 Yeah.
00:28:08.000 And everyone moving, Shane moving, and now the Philly guys are here, and you feel more people are moving.
00:28:12.000 Yeah, when Duncan moved here, that was big.
00:28:15.000 He was one of the earliest.
00:28:17.000 Yeah.
00:28:17.000 Tom was real early.
00:28:19.000 I was telling him, I go, dude, I go, it's awesome here.
00:28:22.000 I go, people are friendly.
00:28:23.000 It's like, there's no traffic, and we can do comedy.
00:28:26.000 He's like, I'm moving.
00:28:27.000 That's it.
00:28:28.000 Tom was out here early.
00:28:29.000 Yeah, he was.
00:28:30.000 He was there waiting for me.
00:28:30.000 So that was cool to see big dogs, to see like...
00:28:34.000 Big dogs.
00:28:35.000 Big dogs who have to move their families.
00:28:38.000 That's what I mean.
00:28:39.000 So to me, that's what made it more real, too.
00:28:40.000 Because I'm looking at it like, well, I'm a comic.
00:28:42.000 I have more nothing to lose.
00:28:43.000 Me and my wife have no kids.
00:28:44.000 We're just kind of flying by the seat of our pants.
00:28:45.000 But when you see people get up and move their families, it's like, no, that's a decision. 0.97
00:28:49.000 I don't think he's fucking around here. 0.91
00:28:50.000 I remember people saying, oh, he's never going to build a club. 0.99
00:28:52.000 It's like, and his fucking family's here. 0.99
00:28:54.000 I don't think he's playing. 1.00
00:28:56.000 You know?
00:28:57.000 But that was the thing.
00:28:58.000 I was just gonna do it the right way.
00:28:59.000 And I wasn't talking about it.
00:29:00.000 I mean, I was saying it was gonna happen, but I wasn't talking about it too much.
00:29:03.000 People, psh, you ain't gonna do that.
00:29:04.000 Everyone! 0.99
00:29:05.000 People were telling me I was dumb. 1.00
00:29:07.000 Oh, Joe, I'm not gonna say names, but you know who you fucking are! 1.00
00:29:11.000 Famous comics saying, oh man, you fucked up your career. 1.00
00:29:14.000 People said that to me in a song. 0.96
00:29:15.000 Bobby Lee. 1.00
00:29:18.000 Fat fuck! 1.00
00:29:19.000 I love you! 1.00
00:29:20.000 Goddamn fat fucking piece of shit! 1.00
00:29:22.000 Bobby operates on fear. 1.00
00:29:24.000 Yeah.
00:29:25.000 I love Bobby to death.
00:29:27.000 Me too!
00:29:28.000 That's the thing of like, man, I love you, dog!
00:29:30.000 But also, he doesn't really mean it.
00:29:32.000 He's just kind of saying it.
00:29:33.000 Like, with Bobby, everything is kind of like a gag.
00:29:36.000 Like everything, even when he's like angry, he's like, you're really angry?
00:29:39.000 He starts laughing.
00:29:40.000 Yeah, and he'll start tickling you and you're like, bro!
00:29:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:43.000 Everything's kind of like, that's one of the beautiful things about Bobby.
00:29:46.000 Everything's like half a gag.
00:29:47.000 But also like the reality that he doesn't like, you know, the anxiety of that move, the whole thing, the fear of it. 0.99
00:29:54.000 And for you to do it, he's gonna shit on you. 0.99
00:29:56.000 Because you did a thing that he probably should do too. 0.99
00:29:59.000 Clearly!
00:30:00.000 Yeah.
00:30:00.000 I mean, I talked to him when he was out here.
00:30:01.000 He's like, fuck! 1.00
00:30:03.000 I go, just move here. 1.00
00:30:04.000 Oh, they all say it right when they come.
00:30:05.000 It's easy.
00:30:05.000 Right when they come.
00:30:06.000 They all are like, oh, man.
00:30:08.000 You can see it on them.
00:30:09.000 Yeah, he left the club with two beautiful ladies. 0.76
00:30:12.000 I was like, where are you going, Bobby?
00:30:13.000 He's like, I'll be back.
00:30:15.000 I'm famous here.
00:30:23.000 Everybody loves him.
00:30:24.000 I do remember he said that, though.
00:30:26.000 Yeah, they were scared.
00:30:27.000 Derek, you made a big mistake.
00:30:28.000 I was like, bro, you had Kalilah.
00:30:29.000 We all had mistakes. 1.00
00:30:30.000 Get the fuck out of my face, dog. 1.00
00:30:33.000 Shut the fuck up, advice boy. 1.00
00:30:35.000 Yo, what are you talking about right now, man? 1.00
00:30:37.000 Who the fuck are you talking to? 1.00
00:30:38.000 Who the fuck is that guy? 1.00
00:30:44.000 I'm so glad I did, man. 1.00
00:30:46.000 I'm so glad I did, brother.
00:30:48.000 Yeah, man.
00:30:48.000 I'm glad you did, too.
00:30:49.000 That helped me meet Schultz.
00:30:51.000 I didn't know Schultz in L.A. I got here, and then he was coming to San Antonio, and he hit up Tony Hinchcliffe.
00:30:57.000 Thank God for Tony.
00:30:58.000 And he hit up Tony and said, hey, I need a host for tonight.
00:31:02.000 It's awesome that Tony said this, and he showed me this, too.
00:31:04.000 He said, Schultz, I got the perfect guy for you.
00:31:06.000 I think you guys will work well together.
00:31:08.000 Tony told me, I have a feeling you guys are going to be friends.
00:31:11.000 And now that's my brother.
00:31:13.000 He came to the wedding, I went to his...
00:31:15.000 I love that guy.
00:31:16.000 Tony is one of the unsung best guys for promoting talent.
00:31:22.000 People don't think about Tony when they think about that, which is kind of crazy because that's what Kill Tony is.
00:31:27.000 He doesn't get the credit that he deserves for starting careers.
00:31:31.000 There's a lot of guys that they started their career with Tony.
00:31:35.000 And he's really good at promoting people.
00:31:38.000 He's real generous about it.
00:31:40.000 He's always talking about it.
00:31:41.000 On camera and off camera.
00:31:43.000 He'll do it.
00:31:43.000 That's what people don't see.
00:31:44.000 They think, oh, he's doing that on Kill Tony.
00:31:45.000 He's like, no, he's doing that off camera.
00:31:47.000 He's doing that in the green room.
00:31:48.000 He'll tell us about how someone killed in the green room, about how he let someone open for him somewhere and they murdered.
00:31:55.000 He'll tell you to be like, Joe, look at this door guy.
00:31:57.000 Or watch this door guy.
00:31:58.000 I've seen him do it.
00:31:59.000 He does it all the time.
00:32:01.000 Tony loves comedy.
00:32:03.000 He loves it. 1.00
00:32:03.000 He fucking lives it. 1.00
00:32:05.000 He breathes it. 1.00
00:32:06.000 So, having that guy in town, too, was huge.
00:32:09.000 Like, Tony moved real early on, too.
00:32:11.000 You know, but Tony and me, we're best friends. 0.80
00:32:13.000 I mean, we've been on the road together, like, I don't know, 150 fucking shows somewhere. 0.71
00:32:18.000 Somewhere around that range. 0.96
00:32:19.000 Probably more than that. 0.97
00:32:20.000 Over the years, I mean, I've been doing shows with him for, fuck, at least 10 years.
00:32:26.000 You know, I don't even know when we started doing shows together, but it had to be before 2014. I think I met him at the Ice House.
00:32:33.000 Like, way back in the day.
00:32:35.000 And so, like, I've seen that dude, like, really come together.
00:32:39.000 I've seen that dude, like, really become, like, a killer comedian.
00:32:43.000 You know?
00:32:43.000 Watch him on the roast last night?
00:32:46.000 Or Saturday night? 1.00
00:32:47.000 Goddamn, dude! 1.00
00:32:49.000 Goddamn! 0.99
00:32:50.000 That one he said about Sam Jackson? 1.00
00:32:52.000 Oh, she hell gnaws the pussy? 1.00
00:33:11.000 When it comes to that roast and shit, man, I think he the goat. 1.00
00:33:14.000 He's the goat. 1.00
00:33:15.000 I think he's the greatest. 0.75
00:33:15.000 Tony's the best. 0.75
00:33:18.000 I'm not gonna say it, but there were some forces that were trying to limit him from his ability to shine.
00:33:25.000 They see it.
00:33:26.000 They see he's coming for it.
00:33:27.000 They know he's coming for the title.
00:33:29.000 He's reckless, and that's what they're not, okay? 0.99
00:33:32.000 There's a kind of reckless comedy, you know, that you know you're gonna take the heat, but you don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:33:38.000 You're going in. 0.99
00:33:39.000 That's reckless.
00:33:40.000 That's Tony.
00:33:41.000 Tony's reckless.
00:33:42.000 He's driving fast, and he's gonna crash.
00:33:45.000 It's like, he's gonna crash.
00:33:48.000 But he's just like real confident in his mechanic.
00:33:52.000 Yeah, he goes, man.
00:33:53.000 He goes.
00:33:53.000 He's just going for the comedy.
00:33:56.000 And that's what comedy used to be, right?
00:33:59.000 Yeah.
00:33:59.000 And now there's a lot of people today that that's not what comedy is for them anymore.
00:34:02.000 Now they're like trying to color inside the lines.
00:34:04.000 And there's just people that want to be funny, but they also kind of want to appeal to the wokesters. 0.99
00:34:10.000 Yes. 0.87
00:34:11.000 They want to appeal to this ridiculous ideology that's very controlling.
00:34:15.000 But if they do, then the comments that they read on Twitter will be positive. 1.00
00:34:19.000 Because those are the kind of like socially retarded cunts that sit at home all day and complain about things. 1.00
00:34:25.000 So if you want to get their input, you have to kind of like feed into their nonsense. 0.99
00:34:31.000 And that ruins comedy.
00:34:32.000 Ruins comedy.
00:34:33.000 That ruins it.
00:34:34.000 It ruins great comics.
00:34:35.000 It does. 0.95
00:34:37.000 It turns great comics into cowards. 0.96
00:34:38.000 Yeah, you see it. 0.94
00:34:39.000 You can see it while they're on stage.
00:34:41.000 Like, oh, you're worried about an acting job in the back of your head.
00:34:43.000 It's not even a real job.
00:34:44.000 You don't even have it yet.
00:34:45.000 It's just a job in the future that you might, I don't want to piss off.
00:34:49.000 It's like, bro, it's not even a real thing.
00:34:51.000 Yeah, the connection between comedy and Hollywood is one of the worst ideas of all time.
00:34:55.000 It would be like the connection of Alcoholics Anonymous and rock shows.
00:35:01.000 Literally, that's literally how bad it is of a connection.
00:35:06.000 Yeah, they don't belong in the same universe.
00:35:09.000 No, no.
00:35:09.000 But the thing is, they offered that carrot up to us.
00:35:12.000 They dangled that money carrot, that carrot of TV. Ooh, Derek, don't you want to be in the movies?
00:35:17.000 Ooh, Derek, don't you want to host your own sitcom or be on a sitcom or host a late night talk show?
00:35:24.000 But as a kid, that's what you see.
00:35:27.000 You're like, wow, everybody loves Raymond.
00:35:28.000 All these great things, and they are great.
00:35:31.000 But you're like...
00:35:33.000 One of the best things that happened to us was the internet.
00:35:35.000 Because the internet did a bunch of different things.
00:35:37.000 One, it made comics valuable to each other instead of in competition with each other.
00:35:43.000 Because not only do we, everybody has a show, right?
00:35:47.000 If you have podcasts, all our friends have shows, right?
00:35:50.000 So not only do they have shows, but You can have them on as a guest, or you can go on their show when you need to promote something.
00:35:59.000 And then we all help each other, and then we tell you, hey, check out Derek and Nassan, check out Tony, check out William, and everybody does that, and then everybody grows.
00:36:10.000 Nobody loses. 0.99
00:36:12.000 Whereas in Hollywood, if you were the host of The Tonight Show, and I wanted to be the host of The Tonight Show, I'd be like, fuck Derek, I need that job. 0.99
00:36:20.000 I want that job. 0.98
00:36:21.000 When I was a kid, I wanted to be the host of The Tonight Show, but Derek's the host. 0.99
00:36:25.000 Goddammit, I fucking hate Derek. 1.00
00:36:26.000 I hope he crashes his car. 1.00
00:36:28.000 I hope he gets hooked on heroin. 1.00
00:36:30.000 And that's how it was.
00:36:31.000 I mean, that's that whole thing with David Letterman and Jay Leno.
00:36:34.000 Jay Leno was waiting.
00:36:35.000 He was hiding in the closet, son.
00:36:38.000 Hiding in the closet while they were having a conversation about him.
00:36:41.000 That's too much.
00:36:42.000 That's insane. 0.99
00:36:43.000 That's fucking insane. 1.00
00:36:44.000 Insane. 0.99
00:36:45.000 And then I know that thing between him and Conan. 1.00
00:36:47.000 It's just like, bro, fuck all that. 0.99
00:36:49.000 Also, Jimmy Kimmel's chiming in. 1.00
00:36:51.000 Everybody's chiming in.
00:36:52.000 Remember when Jimmy Kimmel berated Jay Leno for trying to take Conan's job?
00:36:58.000 If Conan was killing it, that job wouldn't be available.
00:37:01.000 That's how that works.
00:37:02.000 Yeah, that's how it works.
00:37:03.000 But they did handcuff Conan when Conan took over Tonight Show because Jay Leno did his show at 10 o'clock or like right before it, right?
00:37:12.000 He did it during primetime hours.
00:37:14.000 Yeah.
00:37:16.000 You can't do that. 1.00
00:37:17.000 That's bullshit. 1.00
00:37:18.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:37:19.000 Just even hearing all that, like, damn, I'm so glad I'm in this era. 1.00
00:37:22.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:37:23.000 The idea of, like you said, just going on each other's podcast. 1.00
00:37:26.000 Since you started Podcast Joe, pretty much, did you see...
00:37:29.000 Because when you started, you must not have known that, like, oh, we're all going to go on each other's.
00:37:32.000 When did you see that become like, oh, this is...
00:37:34.000 Well, it was the attitude that we had about the store was the same attitude that transferred into podcasts.
00:37:42.000 Because the attitude at the store, even in like the early 2000s, like when things were popping there, the attitude was like very supportive.
00:37:51.000 If you were cool, if you're cool and all you want to do is just be friendly and hang out and have a good time, everybody was cool with you. 0.98
00:37:59.000 If there was a real disagreement with people, 100% someone was a cunt. 0.99
00:38:05.000 100%. 1.00
00:38:05.000 It wasn't just competitive bullshit, but in the 90s, man, dudes would say shit to you before you went on stage, try to fuck with your confidence. 1.00
00:38:16.000 They'd make fun of your clothes or talk about your hair or something. 1.00
00:38:20.000 Just say something to you right before you went on stage.
00:38:22.000 I was like, what? 0.99
00:38:23.000 That sucks, bro. 0.99
00:38:25.000 Bro, there was people that would mock your act. 0.99
00:38:28.000 They would mock laugh from the back of the room.
00:38:31.000 Like, ha ha.
00:38:32.000 You would hear comics say that and then leave the room.
00:38:37.000 If I'm having a bad set, man, I know.
00:38:40.000 I'm aware.
00:38:41.000 That's crazy.
00:38:42.000 There were so many haters.
00:38:43.000 I remember there was dudes who were sitting in the back of the open mic night, heckling open micers because they wanted them to leave so they could get up earlier.
00:38:54.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:38:56.000 Like, get this fucking show over. 1.00
00:38:57.000 Next. 1.00
00:38:58.000 Like, what?
00:38:59.000 This person just started.
00:39:00.000 What are you doing? 1.00
00:39:01.000 I might fucking kill you. 1.00
00:39:02.000 I would be so upset. 1.00
00:39:04.000 I would be, that's crazy to do to somebody.
00:39:05.000 There's also, like, certain dudes, like, say if you are, um, right now you're like a traveling middle act and there's a kid who's an open-miker and you see him coming and he starts building up momentum and then he starts going on the road and then all of a sudden this guy is headlining before you are And that happens.
00:39:27.000 And then he's selling out places. 0.99
00:39:28.000 Fuck him. 1.00
00:39:29.000 You believe he's selling out theaters, man? 1.00
00:39:31.000 Who the fuck? 0.99
00:39:31.000 You believe that guy's selling out theaters? 0.99
00:39:33.000 And he's sitting in the fucking hallway of the Comedy Store. 0.99
00:39:35.000 You believe that guy's selling out theaters, man? 1.00
00:39:37.000 This is bullshit. 1.00
00:39:40.000 That's a stupid, old, dumb mentality. 1.00
00:39:45.000 That stupid old famine mentality for mentally ill people who are narcissists. 1.00
00:39:49.000 And they just can't believe that other people are having success too. 1.00
00:39:54.000 It's not even that they're not doing pretty good.
00:39:58.000 It's like no one's ever happy if someone's doing better.
00:40:02.000 I thank God for my best friends.
00:40:03.000 Brian Simpson, every time he gets anything, and I mean anything in his career, and you know how big he is, every time, the first time he got on Rogan, first time he got the Netflix thing, he looks right at me every time and goes, you're next.
00:40:14.000 Derek, you're next.
00:40:16.000 No matter what he gets, he goes, Derek, you're next.
00:40:19.000 And it's just to hear that every time from a guy that you were like, man, I want to be like this guy.
00:40:23.000 This guy's the best comic I know.
00:40:25.000 Yeah, super supportive.
00:40:26.000 It means everything.
00:40:27.000 It means everything.
00:40:28.000 And that's the...
00:40:30.000 When you have that kind of environment, it feels good for everybody.
00:40:34.000 This is what's important.
00:40:35.000 The selfish feeling that you want no one to do better than you, and you want to be, like, number one, and then if you see people doing better than you, you get angry, that selfish feeling, it ruins you.
00:40:47.000 Because it ruins your relationship with those people.
00:40:50.000 You could have the exact same circumstances happen and be super happy.
00:40:54.000 For everybody.
00:40:55.000 Yeah.
00:40:55.000 For you and for you.
00:40:56.000 There's no tension.
00:40:57.000 There's no need to it.
00:40:58.000 There's no need for it.
00:40:59.000 And if someone makes you feel bad, like if you watch someone like, they're so good they make you feel bad, go to work.
00:41:05.000 Go to work.
00:41:05.000 That's a good feeling.
00:41:06.000 That's good.
00:41:07.000 When Natal was in town, I would watch Natal be like, I want to go home and write.
00:41:11.000 I want to go home and write. 0.99
00:41:12.000 Like this fucking guy is like, he's like a Zen master up there. 1.00
00:41:15.000 He's like effortlessly killing. 1.00
00:41:17.000 Yes. 0.99
00:41:17.000 In a way that's like so, and so ridiculous and so unique. 0.99
00:41:21.000 I was like, God, this is so good. 0.99
00:41:22.000 But if you're a hater, that's poison.
00:41:25.000 You're watching...
00:41:26.000 You're getting the exact opposite feeling from the same exact scene.
00:41:31.000 The same scene.
00:41:32.000 There's guys that will...
00:41:34.000 I've seen guys sitting in the back room.
00:41:35.000 They were watching Chris Rock.
00:41:37.000 And they're watching Chris Rock with their arms crossed like this.
00:41:39.000 Like... 1.00
00:41:40.000 Wanting him to suck. 1.00
00:41:41.000 Wanting him to suck. 1.00
00:41:43.000 Not wanting him to do well. 1.00
00:41:44.000 Not just enjoying it.
00:41:46.000 Enjoy him!
00:41:49.000 Aren't you a fan of this?
00:41:52.000 It only has to be you?
00:41:53.000 You're the only one who can be funny?
00:41:55.000 That's crazy!
00:41:56.000 That's crazy!
00:41:57.000 You can't have a good time?
00:41:57.000 So you're missing out on having a good time just so you can be selfish.
00:42:02.000 There's a zero upside.
00:42:04.000 And it ruins your life.
00:42:05.000 Now you're at home mad.
00:42:06.000 It just ruins your day.
00:42:08.000 Your whole life.
00:42:09.000 Everything's ruined.
00:42:10.000 And if someone does fail that you wanted to fail and you feel good, you should be embarrassed.
00:42:16.000 You should be embarrassed by that feeling. 1.00
00:42:19.000 You should be like, what a weak bitch I am. 1.00
00:42:21.000 You hit him with the Sebastian. 1.00
00:42:22.000 You should be embarrassed. 0.83
00:42:24.000 You should be embarrassed.
00:42:26.000 You really should.
00:42:27.000 You should.
00:42:28.000 100%.
00:42:28.000 But I think this is all like...
00:42:30.000 People need to learn this.
00:42:33.000 You need to learn this and learn it in a way where it doesn't feel bad if you take it on. 0.97
00:42:39.000 You don't feel like a fool. 0.99
00:42:40.000 Because we've all been fools. 1.00
00:42:42.000 I've been a fool. 1.00
00:42:43.000 Everyone's in this room. 1.00
00:42:44.000 Everyone listening has been a fool. 1.00
00:42:46.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:42:46.000 We've all been a fucking moron. 1.00
00:42:48.000 That's how you learn and grow in life. 1.00
00:42:50.000 But if you stick to the old ways, you'll just be unhappy and mentally ill. 0.94
00:42:56.000 Yeah.
00:42:56.000 Yeah, your therapist's not gonna save you.
00:42:59.000 I mean, Joe, you might even remember this.
00:43:01.000 I learned a lesson in comedy. 0.96
00:43:03.000 Being young and just talking too much and just being kind of angry and wanting more as a dork.
00:43:08.000 And you talked to me. 0.53
00:43:10.000 I don't know if you remember that.
00:43:10.000 You got on me one time.
00:43:11.000 Hey, Derek, you gotta shut up, man. 0.90
00:43:14.000 I don't even know if you remember you telling me to do this. 0.96
00:43:15.000 When was this?
00:43:16.000 Was this at the store?
00:43:16.000 This was at the store.
00:43:17.000 What were you complaining about?
00:43:18.000 I was just running my mouth complaining about, I want more.
00:43:21.000 I just wanted more.
00:43:22.000 I just wanted more and I was talking too much.
00:43:24.000 At the end of the day, I was talking too much and you did that and that was good.
00:43:30.000 I needed that.
00:43:32.000 I needed to hear that. 1.00
00:43:33.000 Sometimes we get wrapped up in our own shit. 1.00
00:43:36.000 The process is long. 1.00
00:43:38.000 If I was trying to tell someone right now to be a comic and they were like 26 years old, I'd be like, okay.
00:43:45.000 You ain't gonna be famous until you're 40. If you make it.
00:43:51.000 If you, if!
00:43:52.000 If you make it.
00:43:53.000 You know, you gotta be willing to throw it all away, and you gotta be willing to go through this weird path where you want things and they're not happening, and you get angry, and that's where you were.
00:44:03.000 Yes.
00:44:03.000 You wanted things, and I was like, Derek, you gotta be undeniable.
00:44:07.000 Yes.
00:44:07.000 You gotta be undeniable.
00:44:08.000 When you're undeniable, it's all gonna come your way.
00:44:10.000 But all this talk is not good for anybody.
00:44:13.000 It's crazy, you just don't.
00:44:15.000 But it's, I'm glad I went through that.
00:44:17.000 You know what I mean?
00:44:17.000 I'm glad that that happened to me because it was, at the time, it felt like, you know, you're like, oh.
00:44:22.000 But man, I'm glad I went through that because now it's just so much better to enjoy.
00:44:26.000 You appreciate it.
00:44:27.000 Appreciate it.
00:44:28.000 Yeah.
00:44:28.000 And it's almost like you have to go through, I had those feelings.
00:44:31.000 I remember being at an open mic night and I wasn't on the list.
00:44:33.000 I couldn't get on the list.
00:44:34.000 I was angry.
00:44:35.000 Like, why can't I go up? 1.00
00:44:36.000 This is bullshit. 1.00
00:44:37.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:44:37.000 I'm funnier than this person. 1.00
00:44:39.000 You start saying things like that. 1.00
00:44:40.000 It's stupid. 1.00
00:44:42.000 You just have to deal with the grind. 1.00
00:44:44.000 It's part of the thing.
00:44:47.000 It's like what makes you better.
00:44:48.000 Those uncomfortable things, they build inside of you.
00:44:52.000 Those uncomfortable moments and feelings, they add inspiration.
00:44:55.000 They add determination.
00:44:57.000 They add discipline.
00:44:58.000 They make you focus more.
00:44:59.000 They make you listen to tapes.
00:45:01.000 They make you go through your notebook.
00:45:05.000 Man, I really appreciate those Comedy Store times.
00:45:08.000 I think everyone should be, not a door guy, but man, it's good.
00:45:11.000 I think it's just good for you to just sit and learn.
00:45:14.000 You have no choice.
00:45:15.000 You're there.
00:45:15.000 What was dope about the Comedy Store, too, was the fact that there was a real attitude that everyone was a comic, including the door people.
00:45:23.000 Yes.
00:45:24.000 The door people, to me, were me when I was 23. I was like, what's up?
00:45:27.000 What's going on, man?
00:45:28.000 Everything cool?
00:45:29.000 Met you.
00:45:30.000 Big hug.
00:45:30.000 First thing he said, yo, what's up?
00:45:31.000 New guy.
00:45:32.000 Oh, man.
00:45:33.000 I remember like it was yesterday, dude.
00:45:36.000 All you guys.
00:45:37.000 Oh, man.
00:45:38.000 The coolest thing, one of the coolest things about stand-up that I learned from you, Joe, so when I got there, you were finishing Triggered.
00:45:44.000 That was about to come out.
00:45:46.000 So you were doing the, on the stool bit, the Caitlyn Jenner.
00:45:49.000 I mean, it was so tight.
00:45:50.000 You were going, standing O's every time you did it.
00:45:52.000 It was nuts!
00:45:53.000 Then the special came out.
00:45:54.000 And then you start gearing up for Strange Times.
00:45:56.000 And the only person I've ever heard they say would do this was Richard Pryor, where he would come in after he dropped a special, and he would bang out material, and you'd see it.
00:46:04.000 For the first time, you're like, okay, I kind of see the skeleton.
00:46:07.000 I saw the skeleton of Strange Times.
00:46:08.000 I'm like, all right, I guess...
00:46:09.000 And then the next day, you'd see a little bit of muscle on it.
00:46:13.000 You never abandoned it.
00:46:15.000 Even though it wasn't hitting like how the other stuff was hitting, or some nights it wasn't going as well as maybe you wanted it to, you never abandoned it.
00:46:20.000 You never were like, oh, I'm going to do crowd work, oh, I'm going to say an old bit and get out of this.
00:46:23.000 No.
00:46:24.000 And then I saw strange times become strange times.
00:46:28.000 And that was amazing to see, Joe.
00:46:30.000 It takes a long time to get a bit going.
00:46:33.000 And if you bail on it, every one of my bits, except for a few, sucked in the beginning.
00:46:39.000 They're clunky.
00:46:40.000 You don't know how to do it right.
00:46:42.000 You can see you were trying to find it.
00:46:44.000 It's a terrible process.
00:46:46.000 It's a terrible process.
00:46:47.000 It really is.
00:46:48.000 It's a terrible process.
00:46:49.000 Bryan Simpson did it the smartest way.
00:46:51.000 What Bryan did was he had his whole hour laid out and then before he filmed his hour he created a new hour.
00:46:57.000 So he started adding material to the set over the course of a year till he had another hour.
00:47:04.000 And so then he films the special and he's got an extra hour.
00:47:09.000 That's Bryan Simpson.
00:47:11.000 Bryan Simpson plans for the future.
00:47:13.000 He has his socks laid out by his bed.
00:47:15.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:47:16.000 Bryan has his socks laid out.
00:47:18.000 He's planning for the future.
00:47:20.000 Bryan gave me a book on what to do if the world collapses.
00:47:24.000 He gave us all that book.
00:47:25.000 Yeah, like the Book of Man.
00:47:27.000 Yeah, whatever it is.
00:47:28.000 The book.
00:47:29.000 I think it's called The Book.
00:47:30.000 It's how to rebuild society. 0.99
00:47:32.000 I was like, what the fuck are you planning, Bryan? 0.97
00:47:36.000 Brian's got books planned on how to save society. 0.99
00:47:40.000 Yeah.
00:47:40.000 He's one of one, man.
00:47:42.000 Yeah.
00:47:43.000 We're real lucky.
00:47:44.000 We're real lucky.
00:47:45.000 And he's another guy that came out here really early.
00:47:47.000 Yeah.
00:47:47.000 So when everybody was out here early, you know, I had gone through this thing where I had the first club and The deal fell apart, the cult house.
00:47:57.000 The cult house.
00:47:57.000 Yeah.
00:47:58.000 Goddamn glad we didn't get that one. 0.86
00:48:00.000 That would have ruined everything. 0.65
00:48:01.000 Yeah, that would not have been as...
00:48:03.000 No.
00:48:03.000 Because the placement of this one.
00:48:04.000 It's perfect.
00:48:05.000 The fact that it's on that Maniac Street.
00:48:08.000 Yeah.
00:48:08.000 Yeah, that street's alive, dude.
00:48:10.000 Yeah.
00:48:10.000 That street's alive.
00:48:11.000 I like that because as an audience member, when you get there, you're like, you're now awake.
00:48:16.000 You don't get to wander in. 0.98
00:48:17.000 It's not in a mall or some shit. 0.95
00:48:18.000 It's like, no, you're awake now. 0.99
00:48:19.000 Well, when the deal fell through with the cult place, and then we walked into that movie theater, when it was a movie theater still, I remember walking in there going, oh, shit. 0.99
00:48:29.000 Like, okay. 0.99
00:48:30.000 It was so clear.
00:48:32.000 It was like you hear a sound in the distance of the direction you're supposed to go to.
00:48:36.000 Boom.
00:48:37.000 Boom.
00:48:39.000 Okay, here we go.
00:48:40.000 That's how it felt.
00:48:41.000 It really felt like that. 0.99
00:48:43.000 It felt like, God damn, man, this place is alive. 0.99
00:48:46.000 This place has, like, got memories baked into it. 0.99
00:48:49.000 Stevie Ray Vaughan.
00:48:51.000 Stevie Ray Vaughan was on that stage.
00:48:52.000 Willie Nelson was on that stage.
00:48:54.000 Willie Nelson was on that stage?
00:48:55.000 Yeah, man.
00:48:56.000 All those dudes in the green room, all those posters are in the green room.
00:48:58.000 Yeah.
00:48:58.000 Those are all real shows from the Ritz.
00:49:01.000 Yeah.
00:49:02.000 I did not know that.
00:49:03.000 Yeah, man.
00:49:04.000 A lot of bands played there.
00:49:06.000 A lot of bands.
00:49:07.000 Yeah.
00:49:08.000 So you could feel it in the walls.
00:49:09.000 There's a lot of things happening in that place.
00:49:11.000 It used to be a pool hall.
00:49:12.000 It used to be a nudie movie theater at one point in time.
00:49:15.000 Oh, there's jizz in there, bro.
00:49:17.000 Buckets of jizz.
00:49:19.000 There's a movie theater for the longest time where it was Alamo Drafthouse.
00:49:24.000 That was like more than 10 years.
00:49:26.000 It was a lot of things.
00:49:28.000 It was a punk rock bar at one point in time.
00:49:32.000 That place has got history.
00:49:34.000 It's from 1827. Or 19, 1927, right?
00:49:39.000 Is that right?
00:49:40.000 Yeah.
00:49:41.000 1927. Yeah, 1927. 1927. It's 100 years old, essentially, or close to it.
00:49:46.000 I mean, it's very comedy store vibes in that, because the comedy store used to be zeroes, and it was like where the mafia would be, and like all this cool, weird stories, and you feel the building, you can feel it.
00:49:55.000 And that, you know, this does have that.
00:49:57.000 Mitzi's feels, you can feel it in Mitzi's late night.
00:49:59.000 It's like, the energy in that is awesome.
00:50:01.000 Well, it's also the energy that's been baked in just in the year that we've been open.
00:50:05.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:50:05.000 Bro, that year, fuck. 1.00
00:50:07.000 Flew by. 1.00
00:50:08.000 That year flew by.
00:50:11.000 It did.
00:50:11.000 Flew by.
00:50:12.000 Flew by.
00:50:13.000 It makes me think I'm gonna be dead real soon.
00:50:15.000 How much time do you have?
00:50:19.000 If I go through 50 more of those, it'll be a miracle.
00:50:23.000 So that's not gonna happen.
00:50:25.000 I know.
00:50:25.000 I'm gonna go through 50 of them.
00:50:27.000 It's not possible.
00:50:28.000 Wow, and did you think that?
00:50:30.000 When you set it up, like I'm setting this up for when I'm gone, this baby, like the comedy store, it'll just run.
00:50:34.000 Well, I didn't think that, no.
00:50:37.000 I just thought set up the best thing you can set up.
00:50:40.000 That's all I thought.
00:50:41.000 I thought, like, I have this crazy unique moment where not only did the world shut down and Texas didn't, but also all these comedians came out here to do shows and I have this Spotify deal.
00:50:55.000 And I'm like, okay, I'm supposed to do this.
00:50:58.000 Like, if anybody's supposed to do this, like, if you were a kid and they said to you, if you got all this money, what would you do?
00:51:03.000 You know what I'd do?
00:51:03.000 I'd make the ultimate amusement park.
00:51:07.000 Just for me and my friends!
00:51:09.000 But nobody ever does that. 0.99
00:51:11.000 You know, like, people get fuck you money and they never say fuck you. 1.00
00:51:14.000 And I don't get that. 1.00
00:51:15.000 Like, if you have fuck you money and you don't say fuck you, what you're doing is, it's a crime against fortune. 1.00
00:51:24.000 You have the incredible fortune to have fuck you money. 1.00
00:51:28.000 The incredible luck. 1.00
00:51:30.000 The incredible fortune.
00:51:32.000 To be in this weird position where all these comedians decided to come to this place because you and your friends were there. 0.99
00:51:40.000 Ron White, he's the fucking leader of the pack. 0.99
00:51:43.000 Pied Piper. 1.00
00:51:44.000 He's the Pied Piper.
00:51:45.000 Because Ron was out here before COVID. Ron was out here in like 2017, I think, or 18. Was he retired yet already or no?
00:51:53.000 He wasn't retired, but he was like, I fly out of Austin.
00:51:56.000 It's much easier.
00:51:57.000 You're in the middle. 0.95
00:51:58.000 You can fly out fucking two and a half hours to New York, two and a half hours to LA. Fucking people are nice. 1.00
00:52:03.000 Food's amazing. 0.99
00:52:05.000 I was like, damn, maybe I could, because I had always entertained leaving LA, but the store just always kept me there. 0.96
00:52:11.000 The store and my friends. 0.97
00:52:13.000 Jiu-jitsu.
00:52:14.000 I mean, I tried for a while, tried moving to Colorado for a little bit, but the store always pulled me back.
00:52:19.000 It's like, you can't replicate that.
00:52:22.000 You did.
00:52:23.000 Yeah, well, that's why I felt like there's no other way it could have ever happened.
00:52:27.000 All those things had to happen in place, where the comedy store had to get shut down so we can get all the people that worked at the comedy store to come over and start the mothership.
00:52:35.000 People like Eric and Curtis and Adam.
00:52:38.000 Jody.
00:52:38.000 Yeah, and Jody and...
00:52:41.000 Carrie.
00:52:42.000 Carrie. 1.00
00:52:42.000 Carrie's the shit. 1.00
00:52:43.000 It wasn't for Carrie. 1.00
00:52:44.000 The mom.
00:52:45.000 She's the best.
00:52:46.000 But she was always the best at the store.
00:52:48.000 So when she's over there, it's like, oh, this is wonderful.
00:52:50.000 And then she knew all the right servers.
00:52:53.000 And then we get this vibe going.
00:52:56.000 And then the whole idea.
00:52:57.000 And it was Adam's idea to do it the same way the store was.
00:53:01.000 I was a little apprehensive.
00:53:02.000 Like, man, comics cause problems when they're employees.
00:53:05.000 A lot of us are dirtbags. 0.99
00:53:06.000 A lot of us are crazy. 1.00
00:53:08.000 Joe, I robbed the comedy store. 1.00
00:53:11.000 I robbed that fucking place. 1.00
00:53:12.000 Peter's listening. 1.00
00:53:17.000 You'll go back in the headline and I'll make it up for you.
00:53:18.000 Yeah, I promise.
00:53:19.000 I'll make it up.
00:53:20.000 But it wasn't just me, baby.
00:53:21.000 Hassan, Brian, we all owe you money.
00:53:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:53:24.000 I'm sure.
00:53:24.000 You were just hustling.
00:53:25.000 I mean, we're hustling because it's like, well, I'm only making a couple bucks.
00:53:27.000 I didn't get up. 0.99
00:53:28.000 I'm going to fucking hustle this door. 0.99
00:53:29.000 Trying to stay alive. 0.99
00:53:30.000 Trying to stay alive.
00:53:31.000 Yeah, I mean, but there was that problem.
00:53:34.000 But Adam was like, yeah, but you know what?
00:53:36.000 There's something really cool about people auditioning.
00:53:40.000 And because now Adam is running it, so we didn't have to have this...
00:53:47.000 This is one of the things that I told him.
00:53:49.000 Because there's a pressure that he had in LA to have, like, X amount of women and X amount of gay people.
00:53:56.000 People talked about it.
00:53:57.000 And they would email him.
00:53:58.000 They'd complain to him.
00:53:59.000 People would confront him.
00:54:01.000 You know, how come you don't have more women on your lineup? 1.00
00:54:03.000 Girl Comics would say.
00:54:04.000 I said, listen, man.
00:54:06.000 This is 100% meritocracy.
00:54:08.000 I know you're not sexist.
00:54:10.000 I know you're not racist.
00:54:12.000 I know you're not homophobic.
00:54:13.000 You don't care.
00:54:14.000 All you care about, you speak the language of funny.
00:54:16.000 This will be a pure meritocracy.
00:54:18.000 And if you're really good, you're going to get through. 1.00
00:54:21.000 And if you're bullshitting and just using whatever the fuck group you're a part of as like a Willy Wonka golden ticket, thinking it's going to get you a career, fuck you. 1.00
00:54:32.000 Okay, that shit doesn't work here. 1.00
00:54:34.000 Yep. 1.00
00:54:34.000 You know? 1.00
00:54:35.000 I love that.
00:54:36.000 And with that, the best way to make a diverse show is just, like you said, put the funniest people up.
00:54:41.000 The show will naturally diversify itself, baby.
00:54:45.000 We have so many different people working there.
00:54:48.000 Everybody's different.
00:54:49.000 And different in all kinds of ways.
00:54:51.000 There's gay and straight and there's black and white and Asian. 0.99
00:54:55.000 No one fucking cares. 0.99
00:54:56.000 Yep. 0.99
00:54:56.000 I don't even notice it because all we think of is funny. 0.99
00:54:58.000 No one cares.
00:54:59.000 No one cares.
00:55:00.000 All that cares, are you funny?
00:55:02.000 Yep.
00:55:03.000 Can you go up there and do that?
00:55:05.000 Asan did 9-11. 1.00
00:55:06.000 No one gives a fuck. 0.98
00:55:07.000 He's just a funny dude. 0.83
00:55:09.000 We all just forgive him. 1.00
00:55:10.000 That's how funny that piece of shit is. 1.00
00:55:14.000 Boy, he's come a long way, man. 1.00
00:55:15.000 Joey Diaz was just telling me on the phone yesterday.
00:55:18.000 I was on the phone with Joey yesterday.
00:55:19.000 He's like, Asan blew my mind.
00:55:21.000 He goes, he blew my mind.
00:55:22.000 I remember that kid when he was just starting out.
00:55:25.000 Yeah.
00:55:25.000 He's out there.
00:55:26.000 He's fucking. 1.00
00:55:27.000 Joey's coming. 1.00
00:55:28.000 He's coming.
00:55:28.000 Joey's moving.
00:55:29.000 He's coming again in a couple weeks.
00:55:31.000 He's going to be back.
00:55:32.000 He's going to be back for quite a while.
00:55:33.000 And then we're going to get him a place.
00:55:36.000 He's going to get a place on just in the neighborhood.
00:55:38.000 He's moving, Joe.
00:55:40.000 He's gotta move here.
00:55:41.000 He can't stay in New Jersey.
00:55:42.000 All due respect to New Jersey.
00:55:44.000 All due respect.
00:55:45.000 He needs to be around his peers.
00:55:47.000 You saw it when he was here.
00:55:48.000 You feel it on him, man.
00:55:49.000 And as the days went, how much more comfortable he started moving like Joey.
00:55:53.000 When Joey would be in the main room, and it was like that when he left Fat Man.
00:55:57.000 We were like, oh, he's in.
00:55:58.000 He's back. 1.00
00:55:59.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:56:00.000 His wife's down, too. 1.00
00:56:01.000 She gets it.
00:56:02.000 She's the best.
00:56:03.000 She's the best.
00:56:04.000 So it's perfect.
00:56:05.000 So when Joey gets here, that'll change everything. 0.98
00:56:08.000 God damn, that's gonna change everything. 0.98
00:56:10.000 I've been working on Theo. 0.99
00:56:12.000 Theo's coming soon.
00:56:13.000 He's gonna be here in ten days.
00:56:18.000 Yeah.
00:56:19.000 So we'll have Theo here for a couple weeks.
00:56:21.000 And then Theo said he might come down for the whole month of July. 0.98
00:56:25.000 You're fucking Samuel Jackson with the Avengers, baby. 0.98
00:56:27.000 You're just Nick Fury. 0.99
00:56:29.000 You're just getting them all, rounding them up.
00:56:31.000 Yeah, I'm recruiting, man.
00:56:32.000 I'm recruiting.
00:56:33.000 But I only want people that want to be here.
00:56:35.000 Like, if you don't want to be here, it's like, I get it, I get it, I get it.
00:56:38.000 There's no pressure.
00:56:39.000 You don't have to come here, but it would be nice.
00:56:41.000 It's fun.
00:56:42.000 Joe DeRosa got a place here.
00:56:43.000 Joe DeRose is here now.
00:56:44.000 Let's go!
00:56:45.000 DeRose is the man.
00:56:46.000 Everyone you're saying, but everyone you're saying also, great, phenomenal beast of a comic.
00:56:50.000 Yeah, and nice people.
00:56:51.000 Great people.
00:56:51.000 That's the big thing.
00:56:52.000 The big thing is all real friendly, real nice people.
00:56:55.000 And the more of that, the better.
00:56:57.000 And there's plenty of spots.
00:56:58.000 There's so many clubs.
00:56:59.000 And Red Band's Club's killing it. 0.50
00:57:01.000 How was it?
00:57:02.000 A 13-second walk from my club to Red Band's Club?
00:57:06.000 You can get up.
00:57:06.000 You got three times.
00:57:07.000 Right next door.
00:57:09.000 Creek in the Cave.
00:57:10.000 Always a great room.
00:57:11.000 Right down the street.
00:57:12.000 This little place, Black Rabbit, which I love, right there.
00:57:15.000 You can go get up.
00:57:16.000 I mean, they're all within a block.
00:57:17.000 Black Rabbit's doing stand-up now?
00:57:18.000 How long have they been doing stand-up?
00:57:19.000 I don't know how long they've been open, but that's over me and Hassan.
00:57:23.000 I mean, it's just such a little 50-seat box.
00:57:25.000 So me and Hassan just love that little spot.
00:57:27.000 And bro, the Vulcan is still a banger of a club. 0.99
00:57:29.000 Shout out to the Vulcan. 0.99
00:57:31.000 If you can get up there, that's a great fucking show. 0.99
00:57:33.000 Bro, the Vulcan is a great room. 0.99
00:57:35.000 And then you can drive over to Cap City.
00:57:36.000 That place kept us alive.
00:57:40.000 It kept blood in us, bro.
00:57:41.000 That place was like a mask that we were all sharing, like scuba diving.
00:57:49.000 We'd give it to each other.
00:57:51.000 We were staying alive, you know?
00:57:53.000 That place kept us alive.
00:57:54.000 Those Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays, just getting it through.
00:57:58.000 That place kept us alive. 0.98
00:58:00.000 And then, of course, kill Tony. 0.98
00:58:02.000 Having killed Tony in a town changes the town. 0.99
00:58:04.000 Because now, there's all these temptations to go down the road of fuckery when you're first on stage. 0.98
00:58:11.000 You want to try to make yourself out to be something you wish you were. 0.97
00:58:15.000 You want people to think you're smart.
00:58:17.000 You want people to think you're cool.
00:58:19.000 And if you have five minutes, sometimes five minutes is too much in the beginning.
00:58:23.000 You really don't deserve five minutes.
00:58:24.000 You deserve a minute.
00:58:25.000 You deserve one minute.
00:58:27.000 There should be a bunch of people doing one minute. 0.94
00:58:28.000 And there should be belts.
00:58:30.000 Like, you're a white belt. 0.99
00:58:32.000 You just started out.
00:58:33.000 Okay, you've been doing comedy six months, eight months.
00:58:35.000 Maybe you're ready for your blue belt.
00:58:36.000 Depends on how much you're getting on stage.
00:58:38.000 And then a couple years after that, now you're a purple belt.
00:58:41.000 Now you're opening up for really good comics when they're on the road.
00:58:44.000 You know, this guy's in town.
00:58:45.000 You're gonna open for him.
00:58:46.000 Colin Quinn wants you to open for him. 1.00
00:58:48.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:58:49.000 Now you're a purple belt. 1.00
00:58:50.000 Now you start going on the road as a middle act.
00:58:52.000 Now you're a brown belt.
00:58:53.000 You know, now you might have 20 murderous minutes.
00:58:56.000 You know, you might be doing stand-up six, seven years.
00:58:58.000 You're a brown belt now. 0.97
00:59:00.000 And then eventually, you move into headlining.
00:59:03.000 And then you get your black belt.
00:59:05.000 And then you realize, like, oh, people are coming to see me.
00:59:07.000 Okay.
00:59:09.000 I gotta go to work.
00:59:10.000 You know, they're coming to see me.
00:59:11.000 That's a different thing.
00:59:12.000 Sit down, you know?
00:59:13.000 Like, it has to take...
00:59:15.000 Like, I will run away from a conversation if I get an idea.
00:59:18.000 Because I know they're slippery.
00:59:20.000 They're slippery.
00:59:21.000 They slip through your fingers sometimes.
00:59:22.000 Sometimes you just have a great idea.
00:59:24.000 You're like, my family gets it.
00:59:26.000 My wife gets it. 0.75
00:59:27.000 I go, hang on, I got an idea.
00:59:28.000 I have an idea.
00:59:29.000 I just have to say, I have an idea, and everybody leaves me around, and I just run away.
00:59:32.000 I run away so no one can talk to me.
00:59:34.000 And then I grab my phone, and I just start either talking into it, which is the best, because then I can keep it quicker, or I start writing it.
00:59:41.000 That's beautiful, bro.
00:59:42.000 I've seen you do that, where you just completely...
00:59:44.000 You know what Neil Brennan said to me once?
00:59:46.000 He said, I think of my notebook as like a net that I catch my ideas in. 0.99
00:59:51.000 I was like, ooh, ooh, Neil Brennan's a smart motherfucker. 0.98
00:59:56.000 That's a great, that's a great quote. 0.99
00:59:58.000 That is.
00:59:58.000 Because it's exactly what it is.
00:59:59.000 It's a net.
01:00:00.000 The moment you do the thing where you're like, oh, you think of something, I'm gonna write it down later, it's gone.
01:00:04.000 Bro, you know why I've been thinking about going to Android?
01:00:06.000 Because Samsung phones, when you, if you record your sets, it transcribes them.
01:00:13.000 Really?
01:00:14.000 Yeah, with AI. And it'll summarize it for you.
01:00:19.000 Crazy.
01:00:19.000 Yeah, Brian Simpson's right about that, too.
01:00:21.000 He's got that fucking Galaxy phone. 0.99
01:00:23.000 Tony's always making fun of him. 1.00
01:00:24.000 And I'm like, Tony, do you understand what that phone can do?
01:00:26.000 That phone can translate, like, built into the phone, can translate you talking to a ton of different languages.
01:00:33.000 Like, instantaneously translate.
01:00:36.000 Why are we still on iPhones?
01:00:37.000 Because we're trapped!
01:00:39.000 Also, it's a safer operating system.
01:00:41.000 That's the thing that I've been really getting into.
01:00:43.000 I've been really, like, researching, like, exploits, and I've watched quite a few videos, but I also read a story where they were talking about when they were trying to see, they had an iPhone and an Android phone,
01:00:58.000 and they checked to see which one was contacting foreign servers based on the apps.
01:01:04.000 And it was, like, way more the Android.
01:01:06.000 The Android was contacting foreign servers way more, contacting China and Russia, and the iPhone one was like one or two a day. 0.88
01:01:15.000 And it's based on, there's a lot of shit going on that we're not thinking about, right? 0.53
01:01:20.000 What you're interested in is valuable. 0.86
01:01:23.000 So if you're scrolling through Google and you're looking at a bunch of different products, you're looking at a bunch of different things, Google gets that information and inserts those ads into your browser.
01:01:34.000 So that when you go to a website and you say, like, oh, I was looking at those shoes.
01:01:38.000 How are those shoes for sale right here?
01:01:40.000 Just click here.
01:01:41.000 It tells you the price.
01:01:42.000 Oh, what a bargain.
01:01:43.000 And you're thinking about it.
01:01:44.000 That's valuable, right?
01:01:46.000 And so that's what they're constantly trying to scoop up.
01:01:48.000 They're trying to scoop up your data.
01:01:49.000 They want to know what you're doing, what you're listening to, what you're watching.
01:01:54.000 You got Netflix?
01:01:55.000 What do you got this?
01:01:56.000 You got that?
01:01:57.000 You got YouTube Premium?
01:01:58.000 What do you got?
01:01:58.000 You got money?
01:01:59.000 Are you broke?
01:02:00.000 You got a Tesla?
01:02:01.000 Ooh, you got a Tesla.
01:02:02.000 You got a Tesla app.
01:02:03.000 So there's all this data that your phone carries.
01:02:06.000 And iPhone is pretty good at keeping that data inside your phone.
01:02:09.000 They're like a closed system, right?
01:02:11.000 Isn't that what they call themselves?
01:02:12.000 Yeah.
01:02:12.000 Walled garden.
01:02:13.000 Yeah.
01:02:14.000 Android is not so good at that.
01:02:16.000 Android is the opposite, it seems like.
01:02:18.000 It's got open source, which is really good, so a bunch of different people can make apps.
01:02:23.000 But the problem with that is you could get apps that are malware.
01:02:28.000 You can get apps that will infect. 0.99
01:02:30.000 You're a wild motherfucker just downloading every app that's on the Play Store. 0.97
01:02:34.000 I don't think they do as good a job. 0.99
01:02:37.000 And I think you can't you sideload on Androids as well?
01:02:43.000 So there's pros and cons, man. 0.93
01:02:45.000 There's pros to, like, if you make an Android app, like, you could just say, you know, why isn't there a fucking app for this?
01:02:50.000 And you could design an app that does it and then just throw it up on the Play Store.
01:02:54.000 And people could just download it and put it.
01:02:55.000 But you could be a criminal. 0.99
01:02:57.000 And you could put some shit on, you know, either side loading or put some shit on, you know, one of these places where you can download apps. 1.00
01:03:05.000 And inside that is someone could just steal all your credit card information on your phone. 0.99
01:03:09.000 If you're using, like, You know Google pay some random Google thing where PayPal or some shit just there's apps that can they can when you sign up for tick-tock they can They know your keystrokes.
01:03:22.000 They know all your keystrokes.
01:03:24.000 So everything you type it knows Not only that it has access to computers that don't have Tick-tock on them that are on the network So if you have a computer, but your computer doesn't have TikTok, but you have TikTok on your phone,
01:03:39.000 they have access to your computer.
01:03:41.000 I know, that sounds crazy.
01:03:42.000 That sounds like that couldn't be real.
01:03:44.000 Joe, why would they do that?
01:03:46.000 I think it's more than them.
01:03:48.000 And this is what Adam Curry said.
01:03:50.000 Like, Adam Curry was saying, like, this is a TikTok ban.
01:03:52.000 He goes, believe me, he goes, the real problem with TikTok is that they're doing a better job of keeping people addicted.
01:03:58.000 And that they don't like the idea that China is dominating this social media game.
01:04:03.000 Yeah.
01:04:03.000 TikTok's good.
01:04:04.000 It's good.
01:04:05.000 They figured out a way to make it very, very, very addictive.
01:04:08.000 But They're getting data, constant data, of what you like, what you're interested in, what you get mad about, what you comment on, how you comment, what you like with hearts, what you keep going back to and don't tell anybody about.
01:04:27.000 If you look in your search...
01:04:32.000 And it's all butts. 1.00
01:04:33.000 It's all fat butts, baby. 1.00
01:04:35.000 It's all fat butts. 1.00
01:04:36.000 That's because you like fat butts. 1.00
01:04:37.000 And they know you like fat butts. 0.99
01:04:39.000 Yeah, I look at other people's feeds. 0.97
01:04:42.000 They're very different than mine.
01:04:43.000 If you look in that search area on Instagram, they know me.
01:04:48.000 They know what I like.
01:04:49.000 Animal attacks.
01:04:51.000 Fast cars.
01:04:53.000 Dude's getting kicked in the face. 0.97
01:04:55.000 Nice butts. 1.00
01:04:57.000 But that data is super, super, super valuable.
01:05:01.000 And it's all in like, how does one get access to that data? 0.87
01:05:06.000 You know, do you get to access through some sneaky backdoor shit, or do you get access the normal way?
01:05:12.000 But Apple does a better job of protecting your information, I think. 0.96
01:05:16.000 Yeah.
01:05:17.000 And you know what I think, too, Joe, why we don't want to change?
01:05:20.000 It's something about the blue.
01:05:22.000 Mm-hmm.
01:05:23.000 They got us.
01:05:24.000 It's something about, I send a blue to you, and I get a blue back.
01:05:27.000 I like that.
01:05:28.000 Yeah, we're on the same team. 1.00
01:05:29.000 We're on the same fucking team. 0.98
01:05:33.000 Group workout texts and we send we have they have to go green because of fucking Brian Simpson We have multiple chats even though Apple is adopting this RCS platform so RCS it's not platform. 0.99
01:05:47.000 What would you call it? 0.74
01:05:50.000 Protocol thank you RCS is What is it called rich something?
01:05:57.000 I forget what it stands for.
01:05:58.000 But what it basically is is like most of the way to an iMessage, but through text message.
01:06:04.000 Because right now in text messaging, rich communication services.
01:06:07.000 So that's the standard that everybody else is operating on, that Google's operating on.
01:06:12.000 So if I have a Google phone and I text you to a Samsung phone, it will be like that.
01:06:18.000 RCS. It's encrypted.
01:06:20.000 Green bubbles may not be going anywhere, but there's still hope for a less archaic messaging experience.
01:06:25.000 So RCS is now going to be on iPhones with, I think, iOS 18. Is that what it is?
01:06:32.000 I think it comes out by the end of the year. 0.99
01:06:35.000 So by the end of the year, like right now, if Brian sends me a text message and there's a picture in it, that picture's going to look like dog shit. 0.99
01:06:42.000 Yes. 0.98
01:06:42.000 It's going to be compressed. 0.98
01:06:43.000 If he sends me a video, it's nonsense.
01:06:45.000 I can't barely see it.
01:06:46.000 It's like a little tiny square. 1.00
01:06:47.000 What the fuck are you sending me, bro? 1.00
01:06:49.000 I know what you're talking about. 1.00
01:06:51.000 So we have to go on WhatsApp or Signal.
01:06:53.000 And on Signal, he can send me the whole video.
01:06:56.000 And I go, okay, I got the video now.
01:06:58.000 But there's so many things you can't do.
01:07:01.000 The big one is FaceTime.
01:07:04.000 FaceTime's big.
01:07:05.000 I get random FaceTimes from friends sometimes, and I love it.
01:07:09.000 Yeah?
01:07:09.000 I love it.
01:07:10.000 Burt will send me a random one.
01:07:11.000 I was hanging with Brian.
01:07:14.000 This was a big moment, too.
01:07:15.000 It was a cool moment.
01:07:16.000 I was hanging with Brian at the Black Keys.
01:07:19.000 We went to see the Black Keys at Stubbs.
01:07:21.000 And we're chilling backstage in that outside area.
01:07:24.000 You know that cool area?
01:07:26.000 And we're hanging out with the Black Keys, and Dave Chappelle FaceTimes me.
01:07:31.000 So I'm hanging out with Dave, and Dave sees Brian.
01:07:35.000 He goes, oh, what's up, dawg?
01:07:37.000 And they start talking.
01:07:38.000 He goes, hey, I love you, man.
01:07:40.000 I think you're really funny.
01:07:40.000 So they're going back and forth.
01:07:42.000 I'm like, this is amazing.
01:07:43.000 Brian is getting recognized by Dave.
01:07:45.000 That's awesome.
01:07:46.000 And he was beaming afterwards.
01:07:48.000 You see, Brian was like...
01:07:50.000 I can't imagine.
01:07:51.000 It was great! 0.99
01:07:52.000 I love those fucking random FaceTime calls. 0.99
01:07:57.000 I love those. 0.98
01:07:58.000 Bert sends me them all the time.
01:07:59.000 I love a random FaceTime call from a friend.
01:08:01.000 It's beautiful.
01:08:02.000 It is nice.
01:08:03.000 Because I don't like calls from people.
01:08:04.000 Random calls from people annoy me.
01:08:05.000 Like, why are you calling me, bro?
01:08:06.000 Yeah, what do you want?
01:08:08.000 A FaceTime, it's usually just something funny.
01:08:10.000 It's usually something fun.
01:08:11.000 Yeah, or someone cool.
01:08:12.000 Cool people.
01:08:13.000 Like, when cool people send you a FaceTime, it's like, wow, that's pretty badass. 0.86
01:08:16.000 Fucking right. 0.92
01:08:17.000 That's pretty badass. 0.97
01:08:17.000 God. 0.97
01:08:18.000 Days of hell.
01:08:18.000 Yeah.
01:08:19.000 He introduced me to you. 0.98
01:08:20.000 My introduction to Joe Rogan was, Joe Rogan, we're gonna look for a pair of New York boobs. 1.00
01:08:27.000 I never heard of you before, dawg. 0.99
01:08:29.000 And then that was, I was like, who the fuck is Joe Rogan? 0.99
01:08:30.000 You know, that was an accident. 0.99
01:08:32.000 What?
01:08:33.000 I wasn't supposed to be on that.
01:08:34.000 Yeah, I was walking down the street and I saw Dave with a fake mustache on.
01:08:37.000 I'm like, what are you doing, man?
01:08:38.000 I was in New York doing stand-up.
01:08:40.000 So I was doing a club.
01:08:43.000 And I was walking down the street and I ran into Bobcat Goldwaite.
01:08:47.000 You know, Bobcat's the best.
01:08:48.000 And Bobcat was directing Dave on his first episode.
01:08:53.000 And so Bobcat was there.
01:08:55.000 I go, what are you guys doing? 1.00
01:08:56.000 I go, why does Dave have a fucking mustache? 0.99
01:08:58.000 He's like, oh, hey, Joe, you want to be on my show? 0.99
01:09:01.000 I go, what do I have to do? 0.90
01:09:02.000 He's like, we're going to hand out ribbons for the best New York boobs. 0.63
01:09:05.000 I go, all right, yeah. 0.74
01:09:06.000 I go, I got like an hour.
01:09:08.000 And then I have to meet some people for dinner and then we're gonna go do my show.
01:09:11.000 Yeah, let's do it.
01:09:13.000 So for one hour, I walked around with Dave, where I carried around a bunch of buttons, I think?
01:09:19.000 Yeah, you were carrying around the ribbons.
01:09:21.000 And y'all were just handing them out some big fits.
01:09:23.000 And you were just smiling. 0.85
01:09:25.000 Dave has his crazy fake mustache eyes.
01:09:28.000 This is awesome. 1.00
01:09:31.000 Looking for great New York boobs. 1.00
01:09:32.000 Now, I want you to think of this. 0.96
01:09:34.000 This is 2002, I guess?
01:09:37.000 Yeah, has to be.
01:09:38.000 2002 or 2003, whatever.
01:09:40.000 I guess two.
01:09:41.000 Imagine how crazy different New York is.
01:09:44.000 Wow.
01:09:44.000 In just 22 years.
01:09:45.000 I was there the other day.
01:09:47.000 Yeah, this is crazy.
01:09:48.000 New York is dangerous now.
01:09:49.000 In this same area, look at me with a full head of air. 0.97
01:09:53.000 Crazy.
01:09:54.000 Oh, they blurred someone out because they didn't sign the release.
01:09:56.000 See that one person with their face blurred out?
01:09:57.000 See that?
01:09:58.000 No release.
01:09:59.000 Yeah.
01:09:59.000 They blurred that lady out.
01:10:01.000 Interesting.
01:10:02.000 They blurred people out.
01:10:03.000 I saw his face.
01:10:03.000 I know that guy.
01:10:06.000 He's like, these shit, too. 1.00
01:10:07.000 They did a shitty job. 1.00
01:10:09.000 Oh, that's so good. 0.99
01:10:10.000 Look at these guys. 1.00
01:10:10.000 He's got his arm on his tits. 1.00
01:10:11.000 Jesus, that's illegal now. 0.99
01:10:13.000 That's illegal now.
01:10:14.000 Oh, they would be so mad at me.
01:10:16.000 Oh, my God.
01:10:16.000 Are you kidding me?
01:10:17.000 That'd be assault.
01:10:18.000 Yeah.
01:10:20.000 That would be slavery. 0.70
01:10:21.000 That would be everything.
01:10:22.000 That would be everything.
01:10:23.000 You're going to jail.
01:10:23.000 I got one interaction with Dave Chappelle, and I hold on to this forever.
01:10:26.000 This is why being a door guy is the best, Joe.
01:10:28.000 I'm parking cars one night, and it's my turn.
01:10:31.000 I'm waiting to go up in the belly room. 1.00
01:10:32.000 There's two people in that motherfucker, Joe. 1.00
01:10:34.000 Two, but I'm waiting. 1.00
01:10:35.000 It's finally my turn.
01:10:36.000 One of my other door guy friends, shout out Matt Lockwood.
01:10:38.000 He's bringing me on stage.
01:10:39.000 It's only two people in the room. 1.00
01:10:40.000 He's fucking around. 0.99
01:10:40.000 This next comic used to sleep on my couch. 0.99
01:10:42.000 He's a piece of shit. 1.00
01:10:43.000 I did. 1.00
01:10:44.000 He smoked all my weed.
01:10:46.000 Dave walks in.
01:10:47.000 And it's going and going as he's still bringing me up.
01:10:50.000 And I'm looking now like, bring me up, bring me up.
01:10:53.000 Come on.
01:10:53.000 Dave's in the room.
01:10:54.000 Bring me up.
01:10:54.000 And he keeps going.
01:10:55.000 And then Dave goes, all right, I'm going out.
01:11:00.000 Dave walks up. 0.99
01:11:01.000 He's like, my friend's like, oh shit, guys, Dave Chappelle. 1.00
01:11:03.000 The two people are like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:11:05.000 He grabs the mic and he goes, I don't know who Derek Poston was, but that nigga's credits were terrible. 1.00
01:11:15.000 And I'm just like, what the fuck? 0.99
01:11:17.000 And then I go downstairs, because now we're watching them, and then of course the room's filled up as the night went on. 0.99
01:11:22.000 It's Dave, and he's there for a couple hours.
01:11:24.000 And then I'm downstairs parking cars again, and somebody's like, Dave's looking for you.
01:11:28.000 I run back up and Dave's going, you know, yada yada.
01:11:31.000 You know, Derek, I'm gonna bring you up.
01:11:33.000 You know, you deserve a shot.
01:11:34.000 You deserve a chance and all this stuff.
01:11:36.000 And I'm like, yo dawg, thank you man. 1.00
01:11:38.000 He goes, oh shit! 1.00
01:11:39.000 Nigga, you black? 1.00
01:11:40.000 I wasn't about ya. 0.98
01:11:49.000 In front of two people, that's hilarious.
01:11:51.000 By the end though, it was sold out.
01:11:53.000 It was crazy.
01:11:54.000 I've seen people come in the room.
01:11:55.000 And that was just such a...
01:11:57.000 Man, I'm so glad that happened.
01:11:59.000 A crazy memory.
01:11:59.000 Dave is a real artist in that he embraces this process.
01:12:04.000 of just exploring things on stage.
01:12:09.000 And it's how he writes.
01:12:11.000 So people will complain about it.
01:12:13.000 They'll complain that he goes for so long.
01:12:15.000 I'm like, you don't understand.
01:12:16.000 You're watching George St. Pierre lift weights.
01:12:21.000 Okay?
01:12:22.000 That's what you're watching.
01:12:23.000 You're gonna see the fight eventually.
01:12:25.000 Right now you're watching George do squats.
01:12:28.000 That's what you're watching.
01:12:29.000 Yeah.
01:12:29.000 But you're getting a rare opportunity.
01:12:32.000 And it's not the same experience, right?
01:12:37.000 Like if you see Dave with a tight set, he's filming a Netflix special, he's going to murder.
01:12:41.000 He's going to murder, son. 0.99
01:12:42.000 Murder, murder, murder, murder, death, kill. 1.00
01:12:44.000 Right?
01:12:45.000 But the process of creating that murder, death, kill is like a boiling down process.
01:12:50.000 You start off with an idea and Dave will just run that idea raw.
01:12:53.000 Yeah.
01:12:54.000 Someone film him and then he goes over it and he pieces it apart and tries to figure out what was good and what was bad and why it worked and why it didn't work.
01:13:03.000 Yeah.
01:13:03.000 And to operate on that level of doing it for four hours and doing it at 3 in the morning where it's like, no, they're tired.
01:13:09.000 They're done.
01:13:09.000 They're beyond tired.
01:13:10.000 They've been beat to shit. 1.00
01:13:11.000 It's 2 a.m. 1.00
01:13:12.000 But if he can get 10 minutes out of that or five minutes or one minute, it's worth it.
01:13:17.000 Because you do 50 of those shows, you've got a new hour.
01:13:20.000 Yeah.
01:13:21.000 That's the thing.
01:13:22.000 I mean, nobody wants a bomb.
01:13:23.000 Like, Chris Rock used to do it all the time.
01:13:25.000 He used to tell people, like, someone would kill at the store, and Chris would show up, and he would, like, purposely bring the audience down.
01:13:32.000 He goes, relax.
01:13:33.000 This ain't gonna be very good.
01:13:35.000 He would tell them.
01:13:36.000 Wow.
01:13:36.000 I've seen him once do that, where he, straight up off the notepad, and he was like, I'm going over the skeleton of it right now, guys.
01:13:42.000 Like, he was pretty much like, you're getting the bare bones.
01:13:45.000 And it was like, whoa.
01:13:46.000 Yeah, and that's the way to do it.
01:13:48.000 Damon Wayans used to do that too.
01:13:49.000 Damon was great at that, man.
01:13:51.000 Damon is the most unsung of the greats.
01:13:54.000 Yeah?
01:13:55.000 Yeah, in my opinion. 0.96
01:13:56.000 I remember Damon's HBO special, The Last Stand, was fucking excellent. 0.93
01:14:03.000 Excellent, dude.
01:14:04.000 And he was one of the first dudes that I saw on stage when I came to LA that was like a famous guy that stopped by. 0.87
01:14:10.000 I was like, oh shit, Damon Wayans is here. 0.95
01:14:12.000 Dude, he was excellent. 0.99
01:14:13.000 Excellent.
01:14:14.000 And he would do that, too.
01:14:15.000 He would explore ideas. 0.99
01:14:17.000 He would just go up there and just fuck around for a long-ass time. 1.00
01:14:21.000 Wow. 1.00
01:14:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:14:22.000 And, you know, back then, Damon doesn't get the respect that he deserves.
01:14:26.000 He doesn't get the love anymore.
01:14:28.000 People don't... 0.99
01:14:29.000 Because he did sitcoms and shit. 0.99
01:14:30.000 He kind of got out of the comedy loop. 0.99
01:14:32.000 Movies.
01:14:32.000 Did movies.
01:14:34.000 People forgot.
01:14:35.000 But, dude, I am telling you, man, when he was on...
01:14:38.000 He was a master.
01:14:40.000 Very like Chappelle.
01:14:42.000 Very much that level.
01:14:44.000 Masterful.
01:14:44.000 Right.
01:14:44.000 Is this during his, like, in living color time, too?
01:14:47.000 Wow.
01:14:47.000 Bro, Damon Wayans, he's one of the all-time greats.
01:14:50.000 He just doesn't get appreciated the way he should.
01:14:52.000 Wow.
01:14:53.000 My opinion. 0.93
01:14:54.000 I mean, I've seen these guys live, like, when they were in their prime, and Damon was, he was just so clever and so silly, and he would be laughing. 1.00
01:15:04.000 It was genuine laughter, and he was having a good-ass time on stage and talking about ridiculous shit. 0.99
01:15:10.000 He was great, man. 1.00
01:15:12.000 He was great.
01:15:13.000 And he was another one of those guys that would just take his time.
01:15:16.000 He would just go up there with some... 0.98
01:15:18.000 He would show up on fucking Wednesday night, 11 o'clock. 0.98
01:15:21.000 Oh, Damon's here. 0.99
01:15:22.000 Damon's going to go up.
01:15:22.000 And they'd let him up.
01:15:23.000 And there's 15 fucking people in the crowd, and he'll be on stage for an hour. 0.99
01:15:28.000 For an hour. 0.99
01:15:29.000 Just fucking around and just trying to come up with bits. 0.99
01:15:32.000 Trying to find out if there's something there. 0.99
01:15:34.000 And dig in a little hole so he has to dig himself out.
01:15:37.000 Yeah.
01:15:38.000 You know, trying to laugh at stuff.
01:15:39.000 You have an interesting process because you do that to yourself.
01:15:42.000 You'll be like, alright, who's the most famous, who are the best comics in the world?
01:15:46.000 Let me do an hour and a half of that and then I'll go up.
01:15:49.000 Yeah. 0.84
01:15:49.000 They've been beat to shit by Shane Gillis and Ron White, Tony H. Cliff, Brian Simpson, Hassan Ahmad, and then you go up. 0.84
01:15:56.000 And it's like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:15:57.000 It's running with weights on. 1.00
01:15:59.000 That's what it is.
01:16:00.000 Yeah, you run with weights on.
01:16:01.000 You gotta hit that stage running.
01:16:03.000 You know, I learned that going on after Joey.
01:16:05.000 Because Joey, for 15 minutes, Joey Diaz will punch a hole in the space-time. 1.00
01:16:14.000 Joey Diaz can punch a fucking hole in reality. 0.99
01:16:18.000 And 15-20 minutes of Joey Diaz is just like following that. 1.00
01:16:23.000 You gotta come on stage like fully engaged.
01:16:27.000 And one of the things you see from guys that tour with soft acts, they tour with like weak opening acts, And that's all the comedy they do.
01:16:38.000 They get soft.
01:16:39.000 You get soft in like your appreciation for the audience's attention span or soft for...
01:16:44.000 Have you made that bit the best that it could be?
01:16:47.000 Or is it just adequate?
01:16:49.000 Is it working?
01:16:50.000 Or is it like optimized?
01:16:52.000 Where is it at?
01:16:53.000 Is it where you're happy with it?
01:16:54.000 Or have you just kind of accepted that's the form it's in because you do it that way every night?
01:17:00.000 When you go on after murderers, there's no room for anything but tight.
01:17:05.000 Everything has to be tight.
01:17:07.000 And you have to be really there and engaged.
01:17:08.000 People have seen an hour and a half of comedy before you even go on stage.
01:17:11.000 An hour and a half of murderers. 0.83
01:17:14.000 Murderous!
01:17:15.000 Murderous!
01:17:16.000 I get so jealous, too. 0.99
01:17:17.000 I'm sitting in the back like, God damn, why can't I go on now? 0.97
01:17:20.000 Half an hour in the show, it's hot! 0.99
01:17:22.000 And it's your show, too!
01:17:23.000 You're doing it to yourself!
01:17:24.000 That's amazing!
01:17:25.000 I think that's the best way to do it.
01:17:27.000 It's the best way for me.
01:17:29.000 I don't think I've ever been sharper.
01:17:30.000 Like, right now, it's sharp.
01:17:33.000 And that's what it is.
01:17:34.000 I think it's just concentrating.
01:17:36.000 It's like everything else, man.
01:17:37.000 It's like, how much do you think about it?
01:17:39.000 I would say that doing stand-up is, let's say if you have, what is a value?
01:17:45.000 Let's give a value of doing stand-up, you give it a value of 100. If you watch yourself do stand-up, that's like 50 or 60. So it's like an extra set almost.
01:17:58.000 If you do two watches and one performance, it's like you did two sets.
01:18:02.000 That's what I think.
01:18:03.000 Listening to it is like 40 or 50. But it's better than zero.
01:18:09.000 It's definitely better than zero.
01:18:10.000 So if you could force yourself to listen and you force yourself to watch, those add up in terms of the overall amount of effort you've put into what you're doing.
01:18:22.000 So it's not just the time you're on stage, but it's also how much do you think about it afterwards?
01:18:27.000 Because if you could just grab it after...
01:18:30.000 I don't want to do it when I get home.
01:18:31.000 When I get home, I want to watch YouTube videos on ancient civilizations.
01:18:35.000 I don't want to write.
01:18:38.000 But if I force myself, then I get fired up.
01:18:41.000 And then once I'm in it, now I get it.
01:18:44.000 Now I feel it.
01:18:44.000 And if I could force myself to listen to recordings...
01:18:48.000 Or watch a recording after I do it, I'm so much more engaged the next time I do it.
01:18:53.000 Everything moves up a notch.
01:18:57.000 So instead of it being a value of 100, because I just did a show, I did a show and then I listened to it and then I wrote more.
01:19:04.000 So now it's almost like I did two shows.
01:19:07.000 Yeah.
01:19:07.000 Where you're watching yourself, you're right, because it makes you...
01:19:10.000 Completely live the set over again.
01:19:11.000 You're doing it again.
01:19:12.000 Yeah.
01:19:13.000 And seeing all the holes, seeing the...
01:19:14.000 Yeah.
01:19:15.000 And you don't have to carry the psychic weight of keeping the set going, right?
01:19:18.000 So you have no anticipation.
01:19:20.000 You know it already went well.
01:19:21.000 I already saw it.
01:19:22.000 I was there.
01:19:23.000 So let me watch it.
01:19:24.000 Like, just chill.
01:19:25.000 And just watch and go, why am I saying it like that?
01:19:28.000 That's too long.
01:19:29.000 I could cut that out.
01:19:30.000 Everybody knows what I'm saying.
01:19:31.000 Why don't I cut it out?
01:19:32.000 Get to it quicker.
01:19:33.000 Figure out this, that.
01:19:35.000 You learn how to get to things quicker when you work with killers, too.
01:19:40.000 One of the things I love about Joey is he sneaks up on you.
01:19:44.000 His punchlines sneak up on you.
01:19:47.000 Like, you don't know where they're coming, and then they nail you.
01:19:49.000 And he's moving fast.
01:19:51.000 He's moving fast, so you're not gonna keep up with him already.
01:19:54.000 And then on top of that, he's sneaky with how he works in the punchlines.
01:19:58.000 It's a great way to describe him.
01:19:59.000 Yeah, it's like a economy of words.
01:20:02.000 Yeah.
01:20:02.000 Economy of words.
01:20:03.000 Joey Diaz is the very best at it.
01:20:05.000 I always tell this one joke.
01:20:06.000 This is my favorite Joey Diaz joke. 0.98
01:20:08.000 He goes, I like transvestites. 1.00
01:20:09.000 They cook, they clean. 0.99
01:20:10.000 You can beat them every once in a while.
01:20:12.000 The cops come. 0.62
01:20:13.000 Who's gonna believe me or some dude with a wig and a black eye?
01:20:17.000 That's a Joey Diaz!
01:20:21.000 That's a great point, because it's like, it keeps going.
01:20:25.000 But it's also, it's like, it's absurd. 0.71
01:20:27.000 You know he's not really beating up transvestites.
01:20:29.000 You know, it's like, it's not real. 0.99
01:20:31.000 Like, when he talks about, he'll say the most ridiculous shit, and it's outrageous, and it's exaggerating, but it's part of the fun of the Joey Diaz show. 0.99
01:20:39.000 You don't think he's really out there beating up transvestites. 0.99
01:20:42.000 Like, that's, it's like, the whole thing.
01:20:45.000 It's like, he's a cartoon.
01:20:46.000 He's a cartoon.
01:20:46.000 Cartoon character.
01:20:47.000 It's amazing.
01:20:48.000 He's so fun, man.
01:20:49.000 He's my favorite person to watch ever.
01:20:51.000 Yeah?
01:20:51.000 Oh my god.
01:20:52.000 I think at all...
01:20:53.000 I mean, there's great comedians.
01:20:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:20:55.000 I don't want to say, like, who's the GOAT, because I don't like it.
01:20:58.000 I don't like the talk.
01:20:59.000 I think we're very fortunate today that we have guys like Chappelle, and Attell, and Shane, and you, and everybody.
01:21:07.000 And Tony.
01:21:08.000 Schultz.
01:21:08.000 Schultz.
01:21:09.000 Schultz is killing it right now. 0.99
01:21:10.000 Murdered on that roast. 1.00
01:21:12.000 That guy.
01:21:12.000 That dude.
01:21:14.000 Oh my god, he's so likable too. 0.93
01:21:15.000 Even when he was shitting all over Dana White, he's got a big smile on his face and he's laughing. 0.74
01:21:20.000 Oh my god, he's funny. 0.51
01:21:21.000 And he's a great person too, man.
01:21:23.000 He's a great person.
01:21:24.000 Like a great human being.
01:21:25.000 I look at him like an actual big brother, man.
01:21:27.000 He's a beautiful person.
01:21:28.000 I love him to death.
01:21:30.000 But it's like we're real fortunate that we have all these people together.
01:21:33.000 We're real fortunate.
01:21:34.000 But for me, where I've laughed, where I can't stay in my seat and I'm on the ground or I'm slapping tables or we're hugging each other, it's Joey.
01:21:44.000 Yeah.
01:21:44.000 It's Joey.
01:21:45.000 Joey hits an RPM that I don't think anybody else hits.
01:21:50.000 It's because of who he is, his background, the chaos of his life, this phoenix emerging from the ashes of coke addiction and all that.
01:22:01.000 He's just got a wildness and a love about him, too.
01:22:05.000 The other thing, he's a loving, beautiful person.
01:22:09.000 He hugs everybody.
01:22:10.000 He's a beautiful person.
01:22:12.000 And when he gets wild on stage, man, there's nothing like it, man.
01:22:16.000 It's like a family reunion laugh.
01:22:18.000 It's something from your spirit when he gets you laughing.
01:22:21.000 Yeah, you love him.
01:22:22.000 You want to hug him when you're laughing with him.
01:22:24.000 So he was like the best guy to take on the road, too.
01:22:27.000 Because it was like the party was with us.
01:22:30.000 Everywhere.
01:22:31.000 It was a party.
01:22:32.000 We're going to nice restaurants.
01:22:34.000 We're eating dinner.
01:22:34.000 Joey Diaz is telling stories about robbing people.
01:22:39.000 Five-star restaurants. 0.99
01:22:41.000 He could tell you a story about kidnapping a drug dealer with a machine gun and you're fucking crying laughing like oh my god you're not disturbed like why would you do that? 0.99
01:22:49.000 Did you plan on shooting him? 1.00
01:22:54.000 Just none of that.
01:22:55.000 It's just fun.
01:22:56.000 Yeah, the road is where you look.
01:22:57.000 I truly think I'm the most lucky dude in comedy right now.
01:23:00.000 Ever.
01:23:01.000 I mean, my weeks, Joe, I'm with Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I'm with you, Shane Gillis, Brian Simpson, Ron White, Tony Hatchcliffe.
01:23:07.000 And my weekends, I'm with Andrew Schultz.
01:23:09.000 And that's it.
01:23:10.000 I'm full on in a master class 24-7.
01:23:14.000 You're lucky, but you also did all the work to get you to that place.
01:23:20.000 You can't just be lucky.
01:23:24.000 There's no shortcuts to creating bits.
01:23:28.000 They have to be made.
01:23:30.000 You have to do them.
01:23:31.000 You have to perform.
01:23:32.000 You did the work, man.
01:23:34.000 If you weren't ready when Tony recommended you to Andrew, it wouldn't have worked.
01:23:39.000 You had to have done all that work.
01:23:41.000 If you half-stepped at any point in your career, you took time off, you started to try a job for a little bit, you did this, you did that, you got married, you had kids, you can't go on the road now because now you have a mortgage.
01:23:53.000 Bro, you went down the path.
01:23:55.000 And you could do anything now because now you're in.
01:23:59.000 But the beginning is sketchy.
01:24:01.000 Man, you're just going.
01:24:02.000 The beginning is touching.
01:24:03.000 That's what I was saying.
01:24:03.000 If I had a 26-year-old today, and they're like, I'm going to go to open mic nights.
01:24:09.000 I'm going to start stand-up and be like, Okay.
01:24:12.000 All right.
01:24:12.000 I'll see you at mile 100. Let's see.
01:24:16.000 At mile 100. You say you get a run at ultra marathon.
01:24:20.000 You know how many people finish those?
01:24:22.000 Two.
01:24:23.000 Way more than finish stand-up careers.
01:24:26.000 Way more.
01:24:27.000 Way, way, way, way, way more.
01:24:29.000 Way more.
01:24:30.000 Way, way, way, way more people finish 100-mile races that start them.
01:24:36.000 Then become a comic that start doing stand-up.
01:24:39.000 And finish it.
01:24:39.000 I'm realizing this as you're saying it, when you're doing the math in your head, I'm like, yeah, people do finish those races.
01:24:44.000 Yeah, they finish them.
01:24:45.000 My friend Cam's run like a dozen of them, at least.
01:24:47.000 He's probably run 20 of them.
01:24:48.000 Goggins, he ran, I think Goggins did something crazy where he ran like 20 of them in a month.
01:24:55.000 What was his record? 1.00
01:24:56.000 He had some crazy fucking record. 1.00
01:24:58.000 I might be selling it short. 1.00
01:24:59.000 In a month? 0.99
01:25:00.000 He just sent me a text message yesterday about how he climbed Mount Everest with his fucking VersaClimber. 0.99
01:25:06.000 Do you know what a VersaClimber is? 0.99
01:25:07.000 No.
01:25:08.000 What? 0.94
01:25:08.000 They're horrible. 0.94
01:25:09.000 We have one out there.
01:25:10.000 We have one in the gym.
01:25:12.000 It's an amazing workout.
01:25:14.000 This one?
01:25:14.000 That thing.
01:25:15.000 Whoa. 1.00
01:25:15.000 This motherfucker climbed Mount Everest. 1.00
01:25:18.000 And he sent me an image of it. 1.00
01:25:22.000 Hold on a second.
01:25:22.000 How many days?
01:25:23.000 That would take him days, right?
01:25:25.000 I don't think so.
01:25:26.000 What?
01:25:27.000 No, he'll do it in one session. 1.00
01:25:29.000 He's out of his fucking mind, man. 1.00
01:25:32.000 He did eight 100-mile races in a row. 1.00
01:25:35.000 That's insane!
01:25:37.000 That's insane!
01:25:38.000 Over how long?
01:25:40.000 I'm trying to see...
01:25:41.000 But he did more than that, because over a year, there was some crazy number that he did in one year.
01:25:48.000 There's another that says in...
01:25:50.000 This is from Ultra Runner Magazine.
01:25:53.000 2005, he decided to take on the Ultra Marathon Challenge, which involved running over 3,100 miles across the United States from San Francisco to New York without taking any days off. 1.00
01:26:02.000 Jesus, motherfucker. 0.98
01:26:03.000 A piece that no one had ever achieved before. 1.00
01:26:05.000 Did he do it?
01:26:06.000 I'm trying to find that out because I was trying to answer both questions at the same time.
01:26:08.000 That seems like you died before you finished that.
01:26:11.000 Despite, however, never running more than 13 miles prior to this challenge, she completed it in just over 65 days.
01:26:16.000 Ha! 1.00
01:26:21.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
01:26:23.000 13 miles! 1.00
01:26:25.000 That's all he'd ever done. 1.00
01:26:26.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
01:26:27.000 He ran across the whole country. 1.00
01:26:29.000 By the way, he did it with destroyed knees. 0.99
01:26:32.000 His knees are all fucked up. 1.00
01:26:33.000 His knees are like, he's got no cartilage and shit. 1.00
01:26:36.000 From being a SEAL? From all sorts of things. 0.99
01:26:39.000 I think he was born with, like, one of his knees was kind of fucked up, like, malformed. 0.96
01:26:44.000 And then the years and years and years of punishment. 0.96
01:26:47.000 Yeah, injuries from being a SEAL, from going through BUDS, just from the years of training.
01:26:53.000 Like, his knees are destroyed.
01:26:54.000 They're destroyed.
01:26:54.000 He's had crazy operations on his knees.
01:26:58.000 Is that him?
01:27:00.000 That was 100 miles.
01:27:01.000 Look how jacked he was back then. 1.00
01:27:02.000 Damn, son. 1.00
01:27:04.000 Look at that fucking build. 1.00
01:27:05.000 Shoulders. 1.00
01:27:06.000 Dude.
01:27:07.000 That's crazy.
01:27:09.000 Littleton, no food.
01:27:10.000 Wow.
01:27:11.000 He finished the race in 19 hours on broken legs and in kidney failure.
01:27:15.000 There's also that story where he was doing one and he went off track, and so he got off pace, and then the next day he woke up and did it again.
01:27:21.000 Bro, look how jacked he was there.
01:27:24.000 Kidney failure can kill you, right?
01:27:26.000 100%. 1.00
01:27:26.000 What the fuck? 1.00
01:27:27.000 Bro, look how jacked he looks. 1.00
01:27:29.000 Jesus Christ, I'm jealous.
01:27:32.000 I don't want to be built like that. 0.99
01:27:33.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00
01:27:35.000 He looks like fucking Yo Romero. 1.00
01:27:38.000 He looks incredible. 0.99
01:27:39.000 I'm jealous.
01:27:40.000 I'm jealous of that body.
01:27:44.000 Do you know who's jacked?
01:27:46.000 Who?
01:27:46.000 I met 50 Cent this weekend.
01:27:47.000 Oh, 50 Cent's a big fella.
01:27:50.000 Remember when he was young?
01:27:51.000 Rock.
01:27:51.000 He would be on stage shirtless.
01:27:54.000 Shredded. 0.96
01:27:55.000 I was looking at him too like, I think 50 Cent is 50. And he's fucking shredded. 1.00
01:28:00.000 Yeah, he's a big fella. 0.99
01:28:01.000 Boy, this whole rap world, the rap beef. 0.96
01:28:04.000 I'm glad I'm ignorant to it.
01:28:06.000 I'm on the outside.
01:28:09.000 People keep bringing it up and Tony keeps trying to play it in the green room.
01:28:12.000 I'm like, no, no, no, no.
01:28:13.000 You're not dragging me into this nonsense.
01:28:15.000 No, at this point, I've never seen a rap beat like this.
01:28:18.000 The back and forth, I saw Drake release another one yesterday, because they've gone back and forth now four times a piece.
01:28:24.000 So does someone have to tap out here?
01:28:25.000 Is this to the death?
01:28:27.000 I saw a great comment that said, at this point, these niggas are just doing an album together. 1.00
01:28:30.000 Like, after eight songs, you're going back and forth.
01:28:33.000 That would be the way to wrap it up.
01:28:34.000 That's what you do.
01:28:35.000 To break bread, hug it out, go, well, you got me with that one.
01:28:38.000 You got me with that one.
01:28:39.000 Let's put it out as an album.
01:28:40.000 I mean, but it's...
01:28:41.000 I'm not gonna lie, because I love both these guys.
01:28:44.000 This is my era of rap, so I love these guys, man.
01:28:46.000 Him, J. Cole, Drake, Kendrick.
01:28:49.000 But, Joe, it is pointing out, it's so personal, the things they're saying, because, you know, he's calling them a pedophile in the song, literally.
01:28:57.000 Kendrick's calling Drake a pedophile and all this stuff and you have an illegitimate daughter.
01:29:00.000 Brian has such a good joke. 1.00
01:29:01.000 As he said, you have an illegitimate daughter, you're a pedophile, you grew women. 0.97
01:29:04.000 And then Drake's comeback was, I don't have an 11-year-old daughter. 1.00
01:29:08.000 And Brian said, hey, bro, address the other shit. 0.99
01:29:13.000 Nobody gives a fuck about the... 1.00
01:29:15.000 What? 1.00
01:29:15.000 He called you a pedophile, man. 1.00
01:29:17.000 Yeah, a dad is not a bad thing to be, buddy. 0.98
01:29:19.000 That's okay.
01:29:21.000 When you hear the rest of the song...
01:29:23.000 I mean, but it's to that point where it's like, well, okay, what is this, man?
01:29:26.000 This is...
01:29:27.000 Crazy.
01:29:28.000 This is crazy.
01:29:28.000 Tupac just did it once.
01:29:29.000 Hey man, I fucked your wife, fat fuck. 1.00
01:29:31.000 Alright. 1.00
01:29:32.000 That's it.
01:29:32.000 Yeah, that was it.
01:29:34.000 And then there was Nas and Jay-Z. The ether.
01:29:37.000 Yep, Jay-Z said his shit. 1.00
01:29:38.000 Nas ethered him. 1.00
01:29:39.000 Jay-Z said, I'm done.
01:29:42.000 And then they made up, right?
01:29:43.000 They're friends now.
01:29:44.000 They're friends now.
01:29:45.000 Yeah.
01:29:45.000 So that can happen.
01:29:46.000 It can happen.
01:29:47.000 But I've never seen nothing like this. 0.98
01:29:48.000 The back and forth to this extreme is like, man, it kind of sucks.
01:29:52.000 There was the early days of Ice Cube and Eazy-E. That was great. 0.51
01:29:58.000 Yeah, that was real beef.
01:29:59.000 That was probably first beef.
01:30:00.000 And then there was Tim Dogg and N.W.A. Fuck Compton. 0.99
01:30:06.000 You don't know about Fuck Compton. 1.00
01:30:08.000 This is before your time. 1.00
01:30:09.000 Tim Dogg was good, man.
01:30:10.000 Tim Dogg, he was good.
01:30:12.000 But Tim Dogg was a guy who, unfortunately, kind of...
01:30:18.000 His identity became the man who went after N.W.A. when everyone was scared of N.W.A. And everybody was scared of Compton.
01:30:25.000 Yeah. 0.91
01:30:25.000 He was a crazy New York dude. 0.91
01:30:27.000 Interesting.
01:30:28.000 You never heard of Tim Dogg?
01:30:29.000 I've never heard of Tim Dogg.
01:30:30.000 Show me some Tim Dogg. 1.00
01:30:31.000 Because I love fucking... 0.99
01:30:32.000 I mean, I love rap so much. 1.00
01:30:33.000 And I love beef.
01:30:34.000 But Tim Dogg did the scariest thing.
01:30:36.000 He went after N.W.A. Well, in the prime of N.W.A.? Back row days.
01:30:40.000 Oh, yeah.
01:30:41.000 And when everyone was scared of him.
01:30:42.000 It was just all guns and...
01:30:45.000 Ruthless records.
01:30:46.000 Raiders hats.
01:30:47.000 Yeah, that's Tim Dog. 1.00
01:30:49.000 Oh, that's so New York, the fucking chains like that? 0.99
01:30:51.000 Go back to... 0.99
01:30:52.000 What was the name of the album?
01:30:54.000 Something on wax?
01:30:55.000 Click on that.
01:30:55.000 That's the album.
01:30:57.000 I just picked it because it was a good picture of him.
01:31:00.000 Penicillin on wax.
01:31:01.000 That's the name of his CD. It's good, man.
01:31:05.000 It's good.
01:31:06.000 Like, he was a really good rapper.
01:31:08.000 But the thing was, like, if that's how you break out, then your identity gets connected to beefing with these very famous rappers.
01:31:18.000 Where I think, like, if he just went, like, The Cool G Rap way. 0.99
01:31:24.000 Just did his own shit. 1.00
01:31:25.000 People would just love him for his own shit. 1.00
01:31:28.000 But he went after N.W.A. That's all you're known for. 1.00
01:31:32.000 You're in trouble.
01:31:32.000 I mean, Nas ethered Jay-Z. We all were there for that.
01:31:35.000 That happened.
01:31:36.000 And Jay-Z's still Jay-Z. Yeah, Jay-Z's still Jay-Z, but Nas is the fucking man. 1.00
01:31:40.000 I was listening to Rewind the other day while we were playing Pool. 0.99
01:31:44.000 I was like, God damn, that song is genius. 0.99
01:31:47.000 Man. 1.00
01:31:47.000 It's genius. 1.00
01:31:48.000 Joe, literally, I got to do The Garden with Schultz this past weekend, and I took the subway to the show because I wanted to feel it.
01:31:55.000 I wanted to be in New York, put on Illmatic.
01:31:57.000 Oh, yeah! 1.00
01:31:58.000 Fucking New York State of Mind. 1.00
01:31:59.000 Joe, I was ready to go, bro. 1.00
01:32:02.000 Oh, my God.
01:32:03.000 On the subway, listen to that beat.
01:32:04.000 Oh, my God.
01:32:08.000 And what year is that?
01:32:08.000 What year are we talking about?
01:32:10.000 92, 93?
01:32:11.000 I could be wrong.
01:32:11.000 92, 93. Damn.
01:32:13.000 He's the best lyricist, in my opinion. 1.00
01:32:16.000 He's number one.
01:32:18.000 Kendrick Lamar is too, but Naz is the man. 0.96
01:32:22.000 For me, for my money, first of all, I'm old, so I like that 90s rap.
01:32:28.000 Yeah, but it's also like, for me, Naz was one of the first guys that I would listen to him and I was like, ooh.
01:32:34.000 The ugly face joke! 0.99
01:32:36.000 These fucking lyrics are so tight, man. 1.00
01:32:40.000 I love lyrics, man. 1.00
01:32:42.000 I love someone who's really fucking good at piecing together a story. 0.94
01:32:47.000 And that's why Rewind is so good. 0.84
01:32:49.000 Not only is it a great story, he does it backwards.
01:32:52.000 It's crazy. 1.00
01:32:53.000 It's fucking crazy, Joe. 1.00
01:32:55.000 That is basically like pulling out your 14-inch dick and just laying it on the dinner table. 1.00
01:33:00.000 Like, what's up? 1.00
01:33:02.000 Every other rapper. 1.00
01:33:03.000 Everybody shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:33:04.000 That's made of song backwards. 1.00
01:33:06.000 And it's a perfect story.
01:33:07.000 And it's murderous.
01:33:08.000 Yeah.
01:33:08.000 And it makes sense.
01:33:09.000 It's genius.
01:33:10.000 And you make sure you want to listen to it again because you're like... 0.97
01:33:12.000 Bro, and even his new shit, he put out an album like two years ago. 0.98
01:33:16.000 It's banging, man. 0.99
01:33:18.000 It's banging.
01:33:19.000 Oh my god.
01:33:20.000 Just old school, 90s hip-hop, still not lost any of the pace, you know?
01:33:25.000 No, yeah, and he did it with one of the new best producers.
01:33:27.000 Oh my god, I can't think of his name. 0.99
01:33:28.000 Fucking slip in my name. 0.99
01:33:30.000 The same guy, he made the beat for like Niggas in Paris and stuff. 1.00
01:33:32.000 But he's like, I like that he's still in the game.
01:33:35.000 Yeah, bro, when you hear hip-hop is dead, if you're anywhere, you hear...
01:33:38.000 Come on! 0.61
01:33:42.000 Let's go!
01:33:43.000 Let's go!
01:33:46.000 He's got some bangers over the years, man.
01:33:49.000 Some real bangers, man.
01:33:52.000 I do notice hanging out with you, you do like lyrics.
01:33:55.000 Whether it be rap or anything, it's what the person's kind of talking about usually that gets you going.
01:34:01.000 I just love clever lyrics like I love a clever joke. 0.99
01:34:04.000 It's the same kind of shit. 0.99
01:34:06.000 We always listen to Cool G Rap and Brand New Heavies, that Death Threat song. 1.00
01:34:11.000 Oh, yeah.
01:34:12.000 Don't, don't, don't, don't.
01:34:14.000 When that song starts popping, you're like, ooh!
01:34:17.000 Ooh! 0.96
01:34:19.000 Let's go.
01:34:20.000 My favorite one you play, it's not even a rap, but you got me into country.
01:34:23.000 People say I got a drink and problem. 1.00
01:34:26.000 That shit! 1.00
01:34:27.000 That's a great song. 1.00
01:34:29.000 One of my favorite Green Remembers show, you had it playing, and Shane's got a Bud Light in his hand, he's sitting there, and he's like, Joe, this song is making me sad.
01:34:36.000 I look over to you, and you're like, people say I got...
01:34:39.000 You just kept dancing, and Shane's like... 1.00
01:34:41.000 Bro, I think about that shit. 1.00
01:34:44.000 It just makes me laugh. 1.00
01:34:45.000 Well, our Green Room playlist is so interesting because there's so many different kinds of music in it.
01:34:50.000 And it's like, it's all random, so it's all randomized.
01:34:53.000 So it'll just one Janis Joplin out of nowhere.
01:34:56.000 You don't even know you wanted to hear that, but you hear that beginning of Take a Little Peace of My Heart. 0.99
01:35:01.000 Like, oh, shit, baby, sing. 1.00
01:35:04.000 Sing, baby. 1.00
01:35:05.000 Hot White Cum Lady. 1.00
01:35:06.000 Oh, my God, that's a crazy song.
01:35:08.000 Liz Phair, yeah.
01:35:09.000 I love her.
01:35:11.000 Yeah.
01:35:12.000 That song Hot White Cum is crazy.
01:35:15.000 That song is crazy because she was a huge artist when she made that song.
01:35:19.000 What era of times was that?
01:35:20.000 That was so nuts.
01:35:22.000 2000-ish?
01:35:24.000 Early 2000s?
01:35:27.000 2003?
01:35:28.000 Yeah.
01:35:29.000 Wow.
01:35:29.000 Yeah.
01:35:30.000 I remember hearing that song like, Jesus.
01:35:32.000 Keep that lady away from me. 1.00
01:35:35.000 She's too wild. 0.95
01:35:36.000 That's a wild lady to be that famous singing that song. 1.00
01:35:40.000 She's cool as fuck, too. 0.99
01:35:41.000 I had her on the podcast. 0.99
01:35:42.000 Really? 1.00
01:35:43.000 She's cool as fuck. 0.99
01:35:44.000 Very cool. 1.00
01:35:44.000 We got high together. 1.00
01:35:45.000 It was fun.
01:35:47.000 We were getting high with Liz Fair, but she was just cool. 0.81
01:35:50.000 Just fun.
01:35:51.000 Fun person.
01:35:51.000 Fun person to talk to.
01:35:53.000 You know, most artists, like, they got something inside of them.
01:35:57.000 There's something going on in there.
01:35:59.000 Yeah.
01:36:00.000 And it's fun to hang with.
01:36:01.000 Like Jelly Roll, he's fun to hang with.
01:36:03.000 Gary?
01:36:04.000 Gary Clark, yeah.
01:36:05.000 He's so fun to hang with.
01:36:08.000 He's just the coolest.
01:36:11.000 He's a real artist.
01:36:14.000 Gary locks himself in his studio for like 18 hours.
01:36:17.000 Drives his wife crazy. 0.65
01:36:18.000 Drives everybody crazy.
01:36:19.000 He's just sitting there smoking weed, drinking whiskey, and just playing music. 1.00
01:36:23.000 Damn. 1.00
01:36:23.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:36:24.000 He goes for it.
01:36:26.000 Sometimes I'll text him and he's like, I'm in the middle of everything, man.
01:36:30.000 I like that.
01:36:32.000 I like to do it like that, man.
01:36:34.000 Just lock in completely.
01:36:35.000 They do things so much different than us because they can create in a vacuum.
01:36:40.000 You know, you can create a song in a vacuum.
01:36:43.000 You could be by yourself, and you create a banger of a song.
01:36:47.000 We can't really do that.
01:36:49.000 We need it.
01:36:50.000 Because in your head, you can hear the joke sometimes, you're like, I'm pretty sure this will go, but you're not.
01:36:54.000 You need the audience.
01:36:55.000 You need to know.
01:36:56.000 It's like you need a translator.
01:36:58.000 You kind of get it, but you need to...
01:37:01.000 Am I saying this right?
01:37:03.000 You need to have someone translate the words to the crowd that speaks a different language.
01:37:08.000 With music, I envy that, that they could practice on their own.
01:37:14.000 They could just sit alone.
01:37:15.000 But even then, I think performing live is a different animal.
01:37:20.000 Have you read Malcolm Gladwell's book, The Outliers?
01:37:24.000 I bought it.
01:37:25.000 I haven't read it yet, but I do have it.
01:37:27.000 It's good to read.
01:37:28.000 It's good to listen to too.
01:37:29.000 I've listened to the audiobook.
01:37:30.000 The audiobook is amazing because Malcolm reads it and He talks about the Beatles when they were in Germany.
01:37:36.000 So the Beatles went away They left Liverpool they go to Germany and Hamburg and they're doing shows like every night every night They're doing like six seven nights a week.
01:37:44.000 They're doing shows like hours and hours and hours They come back two years later and everybody's like what the fuck happened? 0.74
01:37:50.000 How are you guys so good? 0.99
01:37:52.000 What the fuck happened? 0.99
01:37:54.000 It's because these guys were tight. 1.00
01:37:56.000 Tight as a drum.
01:37:58.000 Just constantly, constantly doing shows.
01:38:00.000 Just constantly working on it. 0.99
01:38:02.000 Damn. 0.99
01:38:02.000 I've heard Kobe say that. 0.99
01:38:04.000 If you work out every day at 9 a.m.
01:38:09.000 and then you work out again at 4 p.m., that's like a regular NBA player.
01:38:12.000 But what I'm doing is I'm waking up at 3 a.m.
01:38:15.000 And then I'm working out then, and then I'm gonna work out again at 6 a.m.
01:38:18.000 And then I'm gonna work out again at 9 a.m.
01:38:19.000 So by the time you got your first workout, I got in 3. And he said, and after I do that for years, I'm the best player in basketball.
01:38:26.000 And it's like...
01:38:27.000 And he was right.
01:38:28.000 He was right.
01:38:29.000 It literally just worked.
01:38:30.000 That's all it was.
01:38:31.000 He wasn't like, oh no, those guys were better than me.
01:38:32.000 Completely.
01:38:33.000 Born better, all that.
01:38:34.000 But I outworked them.
01:38:36.000 Wow.
01:38:36.000 I think that's the case with everything.
01:38:39.000 I think that's the case with music.
01:38:40.000 I think that's the case with sports.
01:38:42.000 Up until the point where you're being detrimental to your body with sports.
01:38:48.000 Because I think you definitely can overuse.
01:38:50.000 You could work out too hard where your body's just too broken down and then you start getting injured.
01:38:56.000 That's real possible.
01:38:58.000 Because at a certain point in time, you're putting in too much work for your biology to heal the sessions.
01:39:04.000 For fighting, that must be the hardest.
01:39:06.000 To judge that.
01:39:08.000 That's the toughest thing in all of athletics, in my opinion, is like world championship fighting.
01:39:14.000 Because just getting into the octagon without an injury.
01:39:19.000 Good luck.
01:39:20.000 Everybody's hurt.
01:39:21.000 You gotta fight to get ready.
01:39:23.000 That's the crazy part.
01:39:24.000 Yeah.
01:39:25.000 You gotta fight. 0.90
01:39:25.000 And guys get staph infections, tweaked knees, fucked up backs, and rib injuries. 0.90
01:39:30.000 And they fight with those things. 0.55
01:39:33.000 Yeah.
01:39:35.000 Yeah, they fight. 1.00
01:39:36.000 They fight all fucked up. 0.90
01:39:37.000 Now you always hear that like after a guy wins, they'll be like, and I won with like Priera, I won with a broken, he had a broken toe. 1.00
01:39:44.000 The fuck? 1.00
01:39:45.000 The fuck? 1.00
01:39:45.000 Got kicked in the nuts. 1.00
01:39:47.000 Exactly. 0.99
01:39:48.000 Crazy. 0.85
01:39:49.000 Crazy. 0.97
01:39:50.000 Yeah, those guys are always hurt.
01:39:51.000 How about Benoit Saint-Denis? 0.97
01:39:53.000 He had a fucking staph infection on his head when he fought Dustin Poirier and he couldn't, he knew he had like one good round in him. 0.98
01:40:00.000 So he just went after Dustin the first round, tried to take him out and then he got knocked out in the second round. 1.00
01:40:04.000 Damn. 0.98
01:40:04.000 And then afterwards, he was saying that the staph infection just drained him. 0.98
01:40:08.000 There was nothing left.
01:40:10.000 And that's what happens.
01:40:11.000 Is that the one where Dustin kept trying to do the guillotine? 0.81
01:40:13.000 Mm-hmm.
01:40:14.000 God, that was the best.
01:40:15.000 Where he said William Montgomery.
01:40:17.000 And I'm never going to stop!
01:40:18.000 I ain't never going to stop, Joe!
01:40:21.000 That's how big Kill Tony is. 0.98
01:40:23.000 Fighters after winning a fight is thinking about William fucking Montgomery. 0.97
01:40:27.000 I know. 0.99
01:40:28.000 It's crazy. 0.99
01:40:29.000 Kill Tony has emerged, man. 0.99
01:40:31.000 It's emerged.
01:40:32.000 When Tony was on the cover of Variety magazine, I was like, whoa.
01:40:35.000 That's undeniable.
01:40:38.000 That's undeniable.
01:40:38.000 I do wonder because it's like, man, what?
01:40:40.000 It's only going to get bigger because I don't think that show is at a like, oh, I think that show is like, this might be the beginning of what this show might be.
01:40:47.000 Oh, it's not nearly where it's going to be.
01:40:49.000 Yeah.
01:40:50.000 It's going to be even bigger.
01:40:51.000 It's going to continue to grow. 0.99
01:40:53.000 I thought Tony's like, bro, you're going to have some open mic or doing their first set in that goddamn football stadium in Texas. 0.98
01:40:57.000 Yeah, yeah, legitimately. 0.98
01:40:59.000 Yeah, easily.
01:41:00.000 It could be that.
01:41:00.000 And also, when they do a live show, you know, they put on a production.
01:41:06.000 I mean, there's a lot going on, you know.
01:41:08.000 They had Jelly Roll singing, you know.
01:41:12.000 Jelly Roll is a crazy comedy fan.
01:41:15.000 He was at the Mothership this weekend.
01:41:16.000 He went there to hang out with Steve Byrne.
01:41:18.000 When we were in Nashville, he pulled up, just came to the show.
01:41:20.000 We were at the Grand Ole Opry, and he came out and sang some songs with us. 0.97
01:41:22.000 It was like, damn, we're singing Garth Brooks with Jelly Roll at the Grand Ole Opry. 0.56
01:41:25.000 Tony told me that he took him out to clubs afterwards, and that they were playing, and Tony would play the drums, and Jelly Roll was singing. 0.97
01:41:34.000 Yeah.
01:41:37.000 He sang Simple Man.
01:41:39.000 With Tony on drums.
01:41:40.000 Yeah.
01:41:41.000 Can you imagine you're just at some bar in Nashville, just hanging out, and Jelly Roll rolls up, and he goes on stage and sings a Leonard Skinner song with Tony Hinchcliffe playing the drums. 0.99
01:41:53.000 Sounds like a fucking Mad Lib. 0.98
01:41:54.000 Doesn't even sound real. 0.99
01:41:55.000 Doesn't even sound real.
01:41:56.000 And Tony came into these like, what kind of life are we living?
01:41:59.000 He goes, how is this real? 1.00
01:42:00.000 Man, I be thinking that shit. 1.00
01:42:02.000 All the time. 1.00
01:42:03.000 I do too.
01:42:03.000 I can't...
01:42:04.000 Yeah.
01:42:05.000 Yeah, I think it all the time.
01:42:06.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:42:08.000 Just this week, Joe, it went with Matt Square Garden, Matt Square Garden here to do this pod. 0.99
01:42:13.000 These three days have been like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:42:16.000 Yeah, what the fuck? 1.00
01:42:18.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
01:42:19.000 What the fuck? 1.00
01:42:19.000 Just from an open mic? 1.00
01:42:20.000 Just from deciding to do an open mic one night 12 years ago in Memphis, Tennessee?
01:42:23.000 Staying on the path.
01:42:24.000 How many years has it been now?
01:42:25.000 12. Just been 12. Staying on the path.
01:42:27.000 It's just staying on the path.
01:42:29.000 That's the thing.
01:42:30.000 It's just staying on the path.
01:42:31.000 Stay on the path.
01:42:33.000 Yeah, that's just like what Kobe Bryant was saying.
01:42:35.000 Same thing.
01:42:36.000 Work.
01:42:36.000 Yeah, just get in that work.
01:42:38.000 Stay on the path.
01:42:39.000 And the difference between the guys who work and the guys who just kind of half-ass it, like, we've seen guys come through that they have one foot in and one foot out.
01:42:45.000 You can see it.
01:42:46.000 Yeah, you see it.
01:42:47.000 You see it when they bomb, too.
01:42:48.000 Ooh, you see it when they bomb.
01:42:49.000 It's like, oh, you're not doing this.
01:42:51.000 You're not getting up.
01:42:51.000 You're not really getting up.
01:42:52.000 And you're not really putting yourself around the best comedies you can put yourself around.
01:42:55.000 Yeah.
01:42:55.000 You can see it.
01:42:56.000 Either they're your openers or whatever it is, but you're not around it.
01:42:59.000 Yeah.
01:43:00.000 And you're all in your head.
01:43:02.000 You're not free.
01:43:03.000 Yeah.
01:43:04.000 Those guys that are free, like Attell.
01:43:06.000 Attell's free.
01:43:07.000 He's free when he's up there.
01:43:08.000 He's free.
01:43:11.000 Shane's free.
01:43:12.000 Yeah.
01:43:12.000 That's like a place that you can get to.
01:43:15.000 Everybody can get there.
01:43:16.000 If you're good, if you can get laughs, you can get there.
01:43:18.000 You just need to keep working on it.
01:43:20.000 Yeah.
01:43:20.000 But that's the thing.
01:43:21.000 It really is.
01:43:22.000 It's a skill that can be developed.
01:43:25.000 It's not as simple as you're either talented or you're not.
01:43:28.000 It's like, yeah, you have to have something.
01:43:30.000 Like there's some people that just, they can't make anybody laugh ever.
01:43:33.000 They're just not funny.
01:43:34.000 They're just not funny.
01:43:35.000 I've seen these people. 1.00
01:43:36.000 And usually they're mentally ill. 0.99
01:43:38.000 Usually the people that aren't funny, but that try really hard to be funny, they're usually like really mentally ill. 0.99
01:43:44.000 And some of them, somehow or another, develop careers. 0.95
01:43:47.000 Like, they have, like, a modicum of a career.
01:43:51.000 But if you, like, go to their Instagram, it's all weird, like, signaling.
01:43:57.000 It's all pretending you're something.
01:43:59.000 It's like this weird thing where they're just trying to, like...
01:44:02.000 Find something that sticks.
01:44:04.000 They're like a formless jellyfish trying to pretend that it's a tree.
01:44:11.000 You know what I mean?
01:44:13.000 There's something about them that's like weird.
01:44:15.000 But if they look the right way and they say the right things, they can kind of eke out some bizarre existence where they can pretend that they're a comedian.
01:44:26.000 And it can last for years.
01:44:29.000 Some of them stick around.
01:44:30.000 They host shows.
01:44:31.000 They do things.
01:44:32.000 It's like, what are you doing?
01:44:34.000 That is the one thing I did love about sports is that you can't pretend fight.
01:44:39.000 Right.
01:44:39.000 You can't pretend to hit a baseball, Joe.
01:44:41.000 Right.
01:44:41.000 You got to hit the baseball.
01:44:42.000 Right.
01:44:43.000 Period.
01:44:43.000 But you do have fighters that are professional fighters that are not good.
01:44:48.000 Yeah, like in boxing, there's guys that they will call because they know this guy's a dumbass, and they'll fight Mike Tyson.
01:44:55.000 I mean, that's how they built Mike Tyson's career. 0.74
01:44:57.000 They took a bunch of guys who are kind of like, you know, they're not Kobe Bryant mentality.
01:45:03.000 You know, they're kind of like just sort of professionally boxing and losing a bunch.
01:45:07.000 And maybe they have losing records, like a lot of them have.
01:45:10.000 Like, they've lost more than they've won.
01:45:12.000 But they're a professional boxer, and they're willing to fight this 19-year-old kid from Brownsville. 1.00
01:45:16.000 It's going to take your fucking head off. 0.98
01:45:24.000 So that's how they develop like careers and so with stand-up you get those guys too because some comics they like weak comics going on in front of them so they'll take this person who's like barely Should be a comedian. 0.99
01:45:39.000 They really barely should be doing stand-up.
01:45:40.000 And they'll have them open in front of a crowd and torture this audience so they can come on stage 20 minutes later and look like a hero.
01:45:47.000 Be the hero.
01:45:47.000 This looks totally unchallenged.
01:45:50.000 So smooth and polished and so confident.
01:45:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:45:53.000 That shit. 1.00
01:45:54.000 Yeah, so you have that weirdness in anything, even in fighting. 1.00
01:45:59.000 You have that weirdness where someone's kind of, they're doing it, but they're kind of like half doing it.
01:46:04.000 And they can still have a career, though.
01:46:05.000 Kind of, sort of.
01:46:07.000 But same thing.
01:46:07.000 They're not making any real money.
01:46:10.000 You're just kind of getting by.
01:46:12.000 Or even just a lasting impression.
01:46:14.000 I like...
01:46:16.000 Because there are some comments you can tell that they operate outside of the world of peers.
01:46:22.000 They operate kind of on their own.
01:46:24.000 And they don't...
01:46:26.000 I like the idea of my peers thinking I'm funny and being in this group that we have and everyone making each other better.
01:46:34.000 But you can tell some comics don't want to operate in that world.
01:46:36.000 I think they get isolated.
01:46:38.000 And usually they get isolated by success.
01:46:40.000 And especially if they're old school guys, because the old school guys, people did root for your downfall.
01:46:45.000 And if they didn't come up with us in the store, which is, I think, the first time where that sort of attitude of camaraderie really got polished and developed.
01:46:55.000 It existed in small pockets where they had friends.
01:46:58.000 But there's so many stories of one friend getting something and the other friend turning on them because they were jealous.
01:47:04.000 There's so many.
01:47:04.000 With guys that we know.
01:47:06.000 Super famous.
01:47:07.000 They've done podcasts about it.
01:47:08.000 Yeah.
01:47:09.000 So there was always that, you know, but I think when some guys make it and then they start doing touring in clubs and then doing theaters, they just bring their opening act everywhere.
01:47:20.000 So they have an opening act that they work with.
01:47:21.000 They bring that person everywhere and they rarely do sets in town and then they become isolated and then you become like an island.
01:47:28.000 I refer to these people as islands.
01:47:30.000 Great.
01:47:30.000 You know exactly what I'm talking about.
01:47:32.000 Yeah.
01:47:32.000 Islands.
01:47:33.000 They're islands.
01:47:34.000 And so they're not connected to the mainland.
01:47:36.000 And so there's a sadness to that existence.
01:47:38.000 Yes.
01:47:39.000 It's weird.
01:47:40.000 It's not good.
01:47:40.000 And you can tell they act like...
01:47:41.000 You can see it on them.
01:47:43.000 They like to pretend like they don't care.
01:47:44.000 But it's like, I think you do.
01:47:45.000 I think when you lay your head down at night, you want...
01:47:47.000 Friends, bro.
01:47:48.000 I like that we work out together.
01:47:49.000 I like that we are all friends outside of this as well.
01:47:52.000 I like that feeling.
01:47:53.000 Yeah.
01:47:54.000 It's everything.
01:47:56.000 It's a big part of it.
01:47:58.000 The clubhouse.
01:48:00.000 It's a big part of why it's so entertaining and why it's so fun.
01:48:04.000 We're laughing as much in the room as we are watching people on stage.
01:48:08.000 In that room, everybody's free.
01:48:12.000 Everybody knows everybody loves them.
01:48:14.000 It's free.
01:48:15.000 When everyone walks in, everybody hugs each other.
01:48:17.000 That's my favorite.
01:48:17.000 Yo, Ron will come in, and then Tony comes in, and we're all like, oh!
01:48:20.000 And everybody just immediately starts talking shit. 1.00
01:48:22.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:48:23.000 Man, bro.
01:48:23.000 We're very, very, very, very lucky.
01:48:25.000 Very lucky.
01:48:26.000 The luckiest show.
01:48:27.000 But we also did the thing.
01:48:29.000 We actually took the chance, and we came out here.
01:48:31.000 You know? 1.00
01:48:31.000 Fucking 49ers. 1.00
01:48:33.000 That's what I feel like. 1.00
01:48:33.000 I think the universe wanted it to happen. 1.00
01:48:35.000 I know that sounds corny. 0.98
01:48:37.000 I know that sounds ridiculous. 0.97
01:48:38.000 I know that sounds like new-agey. 0.94
01:48:40.000 I don't know how everything else could have lined up so perfectly.
01:48:45.000 If you had...
01:48:47.000 If you had a calculation to what are the odds of a new comedy scene emerging in the middle of the country and emerging in a way that all the young people are moving here, all the young people that want to have a career, and then have it connected to something like Kill Tony,
01:49:05.000 which is the very best platform ever for someone to develop a career.
01:49:09.000 If you have a good few minutes, you can go on Kill Tony and you could become a real, look at Cam Patterson.
01:49:14.000 Look at Cam Patterson, baby.
01:49:15.000 Look at Cam Patterson. 0.99
01:49:16.000 Look at Cam motherfucking Patterson. 1.00
01:49:18.000 Killing it. 1.00
01:49:18.000 Every week. 1.00
01:49:19.000 New Minute. 1.00
01:49:19.000 Killing it. 1.00
01:49:20.000 Killing it. 1.00
01:49:21.000 Monster. 1.00
01:49:21.000 Killing it when Tucker Carlson was on. 1.00
01:49:23.000 Just killing it. 1.00
01:49:24.000 Just killing it. 1.00
01:49:24.000 All the time. 1.00
01:49:26.000 You can develop a career.
01:49:27.000 Look at William Montgomery. 1.00
01:49:28.000 Killing it. 0.90
01:49:28.000 Headlining on the road. 0.90
01:49:29.000 Casey Rocket.
01:49:30.000 All these guys.
01:49:30.000 You could really develop a career.
01:49:33.000 And the way the club is set up, I almost called it the store, the way the mothership is set up, it's like you have a real path.
01:49:41.000 Like guys will take you on the road.
01:49:43.000 You do get spots.
01:49:45.000 If you're a door person, people will watch you.
01:49:48.000 If you're coming up, people will watch you.
01:49:50.000 And you can't think you deserve more than you get either.
01:49:53.000 Like, everybody gets what they deserve. 0.99
01:49:54.000 It's just, it's a long-ass fucking brutal process. 0.99
01:49:58.000 Yes. 0.97
01:49:58.000 But you have a possibility. 0.97
01:49:59.000 There's a path.
01:50:00.000 There's a real path.
01:50:01.000 The light, it's lit.
01:50:02.000 You know, you can...
01:50:03.000 Not everybody finishes that 100-mile race, but you can get on that path.
01:50:08.000 Not everybody finishes that 100-mile race.
01:50:10.000 No, it's brutal, man.
01:50:11.000 Especially in that stage.
01:50:13.000 The stage where you got like five good minutes.
01:50:14.000 Yeah.
01:50:15.000 This is what you're banking your life on.
01:50:17.000 Like, oh my god.
01:50:19.000 I could've gone to school.
01:50:20.000 I could've had a healthcare plan.
01:50:23.000 I could've had a Lexus. 1.00
01:50:24.000 Fuck! 1.00
01:50:25.000 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 1.00
01:50:27.000 Fuck all that shit. 1.00
01:50:28.000 Yeah, fuck. 1.00
01:50:28.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00
01:50:29.000 I wish we could sometimes gamble on comedy. 1.00
01:50:32.000 If I had stock, man, I'd put it in Cam Patterson.
01:50:35.000 Oh, yeah.
01:50:36.000 Right when I saw him.
01:50:37.000 I was like, oh, that's one of them things?
01:50:38.000 He's one of them things that is very rare, I think.
01:50:40.000 Yeah.
01:50:41.000 Where it's 100%.
01:50:42.000 Where it's 100%.
01:50:43.000 No, that's 100%.
01:50:45.000 Buy it.
01:50:46.000 100%.
01:50:46.000 That's 100%.
01:50:47.000 100%.
01:50:48.000 Yeah, there's guys where you're like, man, I don't know.
01:50:51.000 Like William in the beginning, I'm like, I don't know if this is going to work out.
01:50:54.000 Because it's so crazy.
01:50:55.000 It's just like, what is going on?
01:50:57.000 But now, it's like 100%. 1.00
01:50:58.000 Now, if you were an early adopter of William Montgomery stock, you'd be like, wow, I fucking called that bitch. 1.00
01:51:04.000 Yeah, Tony's a rich man. 0.99
01:51:06.000 Yeah, that's a hard one to call.
01:51:08.000 But Ken Patterson is one of those few, I mean, I wasn't around for Eddie Murphy, but that's how I look at him.
01:51:13.000 I'm like, man, you really are special, man.
01:51:14.000 You are a special dude. 0.98
01:51:15.000 Well, he's just so friendly in real life and so silly. 0.93
01:51:19.000 And authentically him. 0.99
01:51:20.000 Yep, authentically him.
01:51:22.000 And he could do that on stage.
01:51:24.000 And that exercise of doing a new minute every week is crazy.
01:51:27.000 That's crazy.
01:51:28.000 That's crazy.
01:51:29.000 Could you imagine doing it?
01:51:31.000 Five years in, Joe?
01:51:32.000 So hard to do, man.
01:51:33.000 So hard to do.
01:51:35.000 Kim Congdon and Sarah Weinshank, they were like the first to do it.
01:51:40.000 Kim's killing it out there. 1.00
01:51:41.000 They're both killing it. 0.99
01:51:42.000 Yeah.
01:51:43.000 And they're out here all the time, too.
01:51:45.000 That's the coolest thing, is to see how many people decided to join us.
01:51:50.000 But if you had to put odds on that, what are the odds?
01:51:52.000 The odds are like...
01:51:54.000 Fucking million to one like what are the what are the possibilities that all those things are going to happen in that order? 0.65
01:52:00.000 You know Spotify Pandemic The George Floyd come out here Everyone's cool do indoor shows Everything's locked down everywhere else. 0.98
01:52:13.000 Everyone's at a job all the employees of the comic store all fired No one has jobs.
01:52:18.000 No, there's no club You can hire people bring them out here and everybody starts coming Like, what are you guys doing?
01:52:24.000 What are y'all up to?
01:52:25.000 That's what it felt like. 0.99
01:52:26.000 What the fuck are y'all up to over here? 0.99
01:52:30.000 Come join. 1.00
01:52:32.000 That's what it feels like.
01:52:33.000 Not like real cool, but it does feel like, man, it's our, it's our, like, family, bro.
01:52:36.000 It's our, it's the people who came early.
01:52:38.000 It does feel that way.
01:52:39.000 And it can help shape the way comedy is done in the whole country because it's done for the comedians.
01:52:45.000 It's a club that's set up for the comedians and recognize that the comedians are the reason why people are there.
01:52:50.000 They're not just there to buy drinks.
01:52:51.000 They're not just there because the club is cool.
01:52:53.000 They're there for the talent.
01:52:55.000 So give the talent money.
01:52:56.000 And you pay.
01:52:58.000 First thing I did...
01:52:59.000 Oh, bro, I've never had money, Joe, but the first thing I did, brother, I took all the door guys to get sushi. 0.84
01:53:05.000 We balled the fuck out.
01:53:06.000 I ain't never... 0.96
01:53:07.000 That's the most money I've ever spent on anything, Joe.
01:53:09.000 And I'm talking about...
01:53:10.000 I spent the whole check I got on sushi for the boys.
01:53:13.000 Oh, that's awesome.
01:53:14.000 And that never...
01:53:14.000 Oh, it felt great.
01:53:15.000 Hey, Whitney was there with your wife was there, too.
01:53:17.000 Literally, Whitney and your wife were there.
01:53:18.000 Whitney's like, what are y'all doing here? 0.99
01:53:20.000 They're like, we're about to get some fucking sushi. 0.99
01:53:22.000 She was like, Joe Rogan's fucking paying y'all. 1.00
01:53:24.000 Really? 0.97
01:53:29.000 That's that's my favorite thing though I was being able to have money and just go out with the door guys and be able to pay for dinner like they don't have to pay for dinner right I could pay for dinner no that's nice it's nice whoo yeah it's it's nice that you feel that way too that's what's important that you want to do that that's what's important and it makes everybody feel Well,
01:53:46.000 people do it for me.
01:53:47.000 So it's like, man, the idea of how nice.
01:53:50.000 And I know what it's like to just be like, man, bro, it's either not eat tonight or eat like a McDonald's thing or Derek's taking us to get a steak.
01:53:57.000 Right.
01:53:57.000 Let's go.
01:53:59.000 You know?
01:54:00.000 Yeah.
01:54:00.000 Yeah.
01:54:01.000 When we first started doing that, I remember Ari was like super poor. 1.00
01:54:04.000 I would take him on the road and be like, we're going to order. 0.99
01:54:07.000 I'm like, order whatever the fuck you want, man. 0.99
01:54:09.000 Let's go. 0.99
01:54:09.000 Let's have some steaks. 0.99
01:54:11.000 Let's get a bottle of wine.
01:54:12.000 Let's have fun.
01:54:13.000 Yeah, it's like...
01:54:14.000 Did anyone ever do that for you, Joe?
01:54:17.000 Or did you just start doing that?
01:54:18.000 No, I just started doing that.
01:54:20.000 Nobody took me on the road.
01:54:23.000 Really?
01:54:24.000 Yeah.
01:54:24.000 I mean, I had a couple guys that I opened for in the early days.
01:54:27.000 Like, Lenny Clark was the big one.
01:54:28.000 Because Lenny Clark, I opened for Lenny.
01:54:30.000 I'd been doing comedy for one year.
01:54:32.000 And, uh, Mark Clark just started, uh, he tried me out at this one place.
01:54:37.000 It was called Jay's in Pittsfield, Massachusetts.
01:54:40.000 And Lenny was just coming off of the HBO Young Comedian Special with Rodney.
01:54:44.000 Wasn't like Sam Kinison?
01:54:45.000 Yes!
01:54:46.000 Whoa! 0.71
01:54:46.000 So Lenny was, and Lenny was a legend in Boston. 0.71
01:54:49.000 So, and Lenny was like, kid, you're funny! 0.94
01:54:51.000 He goes, I fucking loved it! 0.85
01:54:53.000 He was like, talking to me about different bits. 0.94
01:54:55.000 It was real fun.
01:54:57.000 And so to me, that was like a giant boost that I got from Lenny Clark. 0.99
01:55:00.000 I was like, holy shit, this is incredible.
01:55:02.000 And then I became friends with Lenny, and so I would, you know, I did quite a few shows with Lenny in Boston, in and around Boston, but nobody ever took me on the road. 0.60
01:55:11.000 No, I came out here to LA, came out there to LA, and I started doing the store, and I was mostly just doing the store, and then Dice told me I should do the road.
01:55:24.000 Yeah.
01:55:24.000 Andrew Dice Clay.
01:55:25.000 Dice told me in the back of the Comedy Store.
01:55:28.000 Dice is always cool to me.
01:55:29.000 And he was always one of those ones where I just couldn't believe I was talking to Dice.
01:55:33.000 I was like, this is just so weird.
01:55:35.000 I was listening to his cassette in my car when I was 19 years old.
01:55:40.000 I remember this girl I was dating.
01:55:41.000 We were howling loud.
01:55:42.000 We're sitting in front of my house.
01:55:43.000 I'll never forget.
01:55:44.000 I can picture the scene.
01:55:46.000 We're sitting in front of my house in the car.
01:55:48.000 And we're both like, ah!
01:55:49.000 Ow! 1.00
01:55:50.000 Just crying, laughing.
01:55:52.000 And then all of a sudden, I'm in the parking lot of the comedy store, and Dice is giving me advice.
01:55:58.000 He's like, you should do the road.
01:55:59.000 I'm like, really?
01:56:00.000 He's like, yeah. 1.00
01:56:01.000 He goes, you don't need these fucking jerk-offs to tell you where your money comes from. 1.00
01:56:05.000 Do the road. 1.00
01:56:06.000 He goes, you'll have a real career.
01:56:08.000 You'll always have that.
01:56:10.000 He goes, you can make a lot of money out there.
01:56:12.000 I was like, yeah, I should do the road.
01:56:16.000 So I had just been doing the store.
01:56:18.000 I had done the road when I lived in New York, because that's how you made a living.
01:56:23.000 I would go places, I'd go to Connecticut and Jersey, I'd do road gigs, do weekends places.
01:56:29.000 That's how I was making money.
01:56:30.000 But then when I came to LA, I was basically just doing the comedy store and the lab factory and working on Sitcom news radio.
01:56:37.000 Yeah, and then dice is like you should do the road and I was like I should do the road and then I started going on the road.
01:56:43.000 So I was headline So Wow, I didn't so I just took guys from the store So I realized early on like this is like when I really had a really hard time following Joey But I realized that Joey was so funny that if I knew that if I could follow him I was like this would like really pick up my comedy because he's so hard to follow it was so scary I can't imagine,
01:57:06.000 though.
01:57:06.000 But I was like, this is the only way to do it because I knew that Joey didn't want a headline.
01:57:09.000 Joey was crazy back then.
01:57:11.000 Joey was so wild that I started hiring Ari to come with us as well in case Joey didn't show up.
01:57:19.000 So if Joey showed up, it was a three-man show.
01:57:22.000 And if Joey didn't show up, it was a two-man show.
01:57:25.000 Because Ari could go up and he'd want to...
01:57:27.000 I was like, I don't want to not have Joey.
01:57:29.000 But Joey was so crazy back then, but I didn't want to put pressure on him either.
01:57:32.000 So I was like, let's just come if you come. 0.99
01:57:35.000 If you don't, I fucking eat your plane ticket or whatever.
01:57:38.000 And so Ari doesn't know if he's featuring or hosting this. 0.99
01:57:41.000 He's assuming that...
01:57:43.000 We always did a tag team anyway.
01:57:45.000 So he's assuming he's always going to go on first, which is correct. 1.00
01:57:48.000 And he's assuming he's going to bring up Joey.
01:57:50.000 But he might not be bringing up Joey.
01:57:53.000 But it was fine.
01:57:54.000 It was fine.
01:57:55.000 But I started taking them on the road because I was like, it's way more fun when you bring people.
01:58:01.000 It's way more...
01:58:01.000 I figured that out early on.
01:58:03.000 I'm like, you want to travel with your friends.
01:58:05.000 Like, you don't want to just...
01:58:06.000 It was lonely.
01:58:07.000 You just travel to Pittsburgh and you're like hanging out with the people that work there.
01:58:11.000 Like, okay, well...
01:58:13.000 Guess I'm gonna go to my hotel and go to sleep. 0.99
01:58:15.000 You're gonna jerk off and go to sleep. 1.00
01:58:17.000 What the fuck kind of life is this? 1.00
01:58:18.000 This is weird. 1.00
01:58:19.000 And they just look forward to the show the next day and you're alone in the gym, fucking lifting weights, feeling weird. 0.93
01:58:24.000 As opposed to, if I bring those guys, we were just laughing everywhere. 0.96
01:58:28.000 So it was just laughs.
01:58:29.000 We just go have a good time, we go eat together, hang out at the park together. 0.99
01:58:32.000 Fucking do whatever. 0.98
01:58:33.000 Go to the pool, hang out together. 1.00
01:58:34.000 I always hear comics say that too.
01:58:36.000 I definitely hope to be headlining soon, but you hear comics be like, oh man, you want to bring somebody, but it just costs a little too much money or costs money.
01:58:42.000 To me, that's what you're paying for, right?
01:58:44.000 100%.
01:58:45.000 I'm paying so I can have a good, comfortable time.
01:58:47.000 I think to this day, my photo of Joey, when I call him, is Joey at the pool in Austin.
01:58:56.000 Yeah.
01:58:56.000 That photo right there?
01:58:58.000 Oh shit. 0.98
01:58:59.000 That's Joey with Ari in the background. 1.00
01:59:01.000 Oh shit! 0.99
01:59:02.000 We're hanging out at the pool when we're on the road together. 1.00
01:59:05.000 That's fucking young. 0.99
01:59:06.000 That's longest yard, Joey. 1.00
01:59:08.000 Joey calls me.
01:59:09.000 When I call him, I'll call him right now so everybody can see it.
01:59:13.000 Oh, it doesn't show the image.
01:59:15.000 Why doesn't it show the image? 0.98
01:59:16.000 It's an old ass image. 0.98
01:59:19.000 Hmm. 0.99
01:59:20.000 Sometimes when you call people, it shows you the full image.
01:59:22.000 It shows you the picture.
01:59:23.000 Yeah.
01:59:24.000 How come it doesn't do that?
01:59:25.000 I don't know.
01:59:26.000 Either way.
01:59:26.000 That's the picture.
01:59:29.000 That was us.
01:59:30.000 I think we were in Austin.
01:59:34.000 Pretty sure we were in Austin.
01:59:35.000 God, look at Ari. 1.00
01:59:36.000 That was young Ari.
01:59:38.000 That was Ari when he was a door guy.
01:59:40.000 Wow.
01:59:40.000 Yeah, when he just lost his religion just a few years earlier.
01:59:44.000 Ari was like radical, you know, like, what sect of, would you call him fundamentalist Judaism?
01:59:51.000 What was it?
01:59:53.000 What would you call it?
01:59:57.000 Orthodox.
01:59:57.000 He was all in.
01:59:59.000 Ari was all in. 1.00
02:00:00.000 When he was 19 or 20, he was like, this is bullshit. 0.99
02:00:03.000 I think he was 21. This is bullshit. 1.00
02:00:05.000 You met him coming off religion. 0.99
02:00:07.000 Conservative Jewish, and then his parents adopted Orthodox Jewish beliefs, according to Wikipedia.
02:00:12.000 Okay, so that's when he moved to Israel.
02:00:15.000 Yeah, and he was like reading the Talmud 12 hours a day like he was all in and then became this chaotic comedian. 0.93
02:00:23.000 Just a crazy man. 0.90
02:00:24.000 Just a hilarious crazy man.
02:00:26.000 Yeah, and I met him when he was at the store just working the door and then you know watched him do a few sets and said you want to come on the road?
02:00:33.000 Took him on the road.
02:00:34.000 We did a bunch of sets together. 0.99
02:00:35.000 Had a great fucking dime. 0.99
02:00:37.000 Door guy. 0.99
02:00:38.000 Yeah, door guys.
02:00:39.000 Yeah.
02:00:39.000 And it's also just like, you know, lighting the path, letting people know that there's a real path here.
02:00:46.000 You go from doing open mic nights to putting together sets, you do guest spots, and then you do a little bit of sets in town, and then someone comes along and says, hey, you want to try opening up on the road?
02:00:58.000 You do 15 minutes?
02:00:59.000 Can you do 15?
02:01:00.000 You know, and some guys, I ask them, can you do 15 minutes?
02:01:03.000 And they really can't.
02:01:04.000 Because they have, really, they have three five-minute sets of the same jokes.
02:01:08.000 Mmm! 0.89
02:01:09.000 But you don't know because you're only doing five-minute sets at a time.
02:01:11.000 Exactly.
02:01:12.000 So they don't know that the problem is if you cover that same subject three different times, you can't piece that together and make 15 minutes.
02:01:19.000 You're just covering the subject in one way. 0.98
02:01:21.000 What you really should be doing is condensing that shit, cutting it up, and attaching them all together. 0.98
02:01:27.000 And don't try to make it like three, five minutes. 0.99
02:01:30.000 You're just lazy.
02:01:31.000 Yeah, it should be one chunk.
02:01:32.000 Exactly.
02:01:33.000 Exactly.
02:01:33.000 Exactly.
02:01:34.000 And that's what makes you Brian Simpson.
02:01:35.000 That is what makes you a great comic.
02:01:37.000 Exactly.
02:01:37.000 That's what makes you Joey Diaz.
02:01:38.000 Joey Diaz.
02:01:39.000 It's not 15 minutes anymore.
02:01:40.000 It's four minutes.
02:01:41.000 You know, it's one chunk and it's bang, bang, bang, bang, murderous.
02:01:45.000 Yeah.
02:01:46.000 So there's, you know, there's a few guys.
02:01:47.000 You take them on the road.
02:01:48.000 They just, they didn't, whatever it is, they didn't have the extra horsepower to make it up the hill.
02:01:53.000 It's like, listen, man, you got to get up that hill.
02:01:56.000 No one's going to help you.
02:01:57.000 I can't hold your hand.
02:01:58.000 You got to get up that hill on your own.
02:01:59.000 It's the only way to do this.
02:02:01.000 Man, some people don't make it up the hill, bro.
02:02:04.000 Yeah.
02:02:04.000 Even though you love them.
02:02:05.000 You love them.
02:02:06.000 They don't make it up the hill.
02:02:07.000 You love them.
02:02:08.000 You think they're great guys.
02:02:09.000 They want you to still take them on the road.
02:02:10.000 I'm like, hey, man.
02:02:12.000 You gotta make it up the hill.
02:02:14.000 You gotta make it up the hill.
02:02:15.000 I can't have you bombing everywhere, you know?
02:02:17.000 I've seen people ask you to try to go up on the Rogan and Friends.
02:02:21.000 You try.
02:02:21.000 You help some people.
02:02:23.000 When they bomb, it's awful.
02:02:26.000 It's awful.
02:02:26.000 Yeah.
02:02:28.000 Especially when the crowd's so, like, Asan just murdered.
02:02:31.000 Brian just murdered.
02:02:32.000 You know what I mean?
02:02:33.000 It's like, oh no.
02:02:34.000 Yeah.
02:02:35.000 You gotta make it up the hill.
02:02:36.000 But you can.
02:02:37.000 And just because you have a bad set that night, it doesn't mean everybody's writing you off.
02:02:41.000 But if you don't adjust, if you don't course correct, you're gonna continue to have bad sets.
02:02:47.000 You gotta figure out, what am I doing wrong?
02:02:50.000 Like, what is different about what I'm doing than these people that are doing it really good?
02:02:58.000 That's the best part of watching it.
02:02:59.000 But the thing is, comedy is a weird art form in that there's no real place where you can learn it other than doing it.
02:03:06.000 Yeah.
02:03:07.000 You could learn how to play guitar, you know?
02:03:09.000 I mean, some of the great guitar players, they're self-taught, but you could learn.
02:03:14.000 You could go to a place, they could teach you how to play guitar, you know?
02:03:17.000 They could teach you online.
02:03:18.000 There's tons of tutorials on how to learn how to play guitar that are free.
02:03:23.000 You can get them on YouTube.
02:03:24.000 Learn how to play guitar.
02:03:25.000 You ain't not going to learn how to do comedy.
02:03:27.000 You can't.
02:03:29.000 Yeah, you gotta do it.
02:03:30.000 It's so personal.
02:03:31.000 That's what makes it so beautiful, bro.
02:03:32.000 It's so personal.
02:03:33.000 And there's a lot of really funny people that aren't funny on stage.
02:03:36.000 That's weird.
02:03:37.000 How's that?
02:03:38.000 It's weird.
02:03:39.000 It doesn't make sense sometimes.
02:03:41.000 Right, it's weird.
02:03:42.000 It's weird when you see them bomb on stage and you see them in real life and they're funny.
02:03:45.000 Like, what is going on?
02:03:49.000 You'll see them in the green room and they'll be the comedian.
02:03:52.000 And then they go on stage and they're like, let me become a comedian.
02:03:56.000 What I think a comedian is.
02:03:57.000 So aware.
02:03:59.000 So aware that they're performing.
02:04:01.000 So aware.
02:04:02.000 Not locked into the thought at all, but instead hoping for a good result with every word that comes out of their mouth.
02:04:10.000 Yeah.
02:04:11.000 Hoping for a good result.
02:04:12.000 Yeah, it's that feeling in the air of desperation.
02:04:16.000 You know?
02:04:18.000 The crowd can taste it!
02:04:19.000 You ever see a desperate dude trying to hit on a girl? 1.00
02:04:21.000 It's the saddest shit of all time. 1.00
02:04:23.000 It's like he smells like shit, and she's just trying to get away with him. 1.00
02:04:27.000 Get away from him. 1.00
02:04:27.000 You know, because desperation stinks. 1.00
02:04:30.000 It stinks on girls, too. 1.00
02:04:31.000 It stinks on everybody. 0.95
02:04:32.000 It stinks on comedians. 0.98
02:04:33.000 It stinks. 0.99
02:04:33.000 Desperation stinks. 0.99
02:04:35.000 We don't like it.
02:04:36.000 It's uncomfortable.
02:04:36.000 I don't want to feel that way.
02:04:37.000 I want you to be having fun.
02:04:39.000 You know, when I see someone like Schultz at the roast, he's having fun.
02:04:43.000 I want to be watching a person who's having fun.
02:04:46.000 I don't want to be watching someone who's like, even if your comedy is really well written, it's going to suck if you're desperate.
02:04:52.000 Yes.
02:04:53.000 Yeah.
02:04:53.000 Yeah, watching someone have fun.
02:04:55.000 God, watching that fucking guy, Schultz. 0.99
02:04:57.000 Yeah, he has a good-ass time, and he's enjoying all the success. 1.00
02:05:02.000 You know, he's enjoying every step of the way.
02:05:04.000 That's very important, too, because, you know, a lot of people get upset that people promote things and show them onstage killing it, but you gotta understand, like, that is...
02:05:17.000 That's you.
02:05:18.000 That's on you.
02:05:20.000 That's on you.
02:05:20.000 He's celebrating success.
02:05:22.000 This is gratitude in a physical form.
02:05:25.000 If that bothers you, that's you.
02:05:28.000 What you want me to do, man?
02:05:29.000 That's your problem.
02:05:30.000 This is him at the garden.
02:05:31.000 Oh, we went in.
02:05:32.000 Oh, look at the boy!
02:05:34.000 Joe, watching this guy, watching this guy, I swear to God, Joe, and I've told him this a hundred times, I'll be watching him, I'll think, I'll get off stage.
02:05:41.000 My second show at the Garden, I thought I had one of the best sets I've ever had in my life, Joe, in my life.
02:05:45.000 I watched his first ten minutes just riffing about New York, and I'll be like, I don't even, I didn't even do the same thing.
02:05:51.000 I'm not even doing the same thing.
02:05:53.000 He's killing so hard.
02:05:54.000 And he brought 50 Cent out, too, at the end, right?
02:05:56.000 Yeah, he brought them out.
02:05:56.000 Did 50 Cent?
02:05:57.000 Oh, he did.
02:05:58.000 Joe, we got the rap.
02:06:00.000 We wrapped Hater to Love It together.
02:06:01.000 Oh my God.
02:06:03.000 That's amazing.
02:06:05.000 That's amazing.
02:06:06.000 But I like that he lives like this.
02:06:08.000 I like that he's like a bigger, better, let's everybody, let's be bigger, better, bigger.
02:06:12.000 We can all be bigger and better.
02:06:13.000 And I like that.
02:06:15.000 That's why I gravitate towards him, I feel like, because he makes me want to be bigger and better and do better.
02:06:19.000 I felt like that the moment I met him.
02:06:22.000 The moment I met him was that I'd seen him do some stuff online.
02:06:26.000 I guess it was probably YouTube or Instagram.
02:06:28.000 I forget what it was.
02:06:29.000 And then I came to the store and I heard he was doing a show.
02:06:32.000 So I came and stopped by to watch him.
02:06:34.000 I remember this night, Joe.
02:06:35.000 Yeah.
02:06:36.000 I remember this night.
02:06:37.000 I met him in the back.
02:06:38.000 Yep.
02:06:39.000 Main room. 1.00
02:06:39.000 He went up, he fucking killed, and then he did the pod. 1.00
02:06:41.000 I remember that shit. 1.00
02:06:42.000 Yeah, it was fun. 1.00
02:06:43.000 I didn't even know him yet.
02:06:44.000 I just remember just being a fly on the wall watching these moments.
02:06:47.000 There's good guys out there, man.
02:06:48.000 There's good guys out there.
02:06:49.000 And there's a lot of people that would be good guys if they were in the right group of people.
02:06:52.000 And they don't feel like they can be good guys because they're all shielded and protected.
02:06:57.000 And some guys are good guys when things are going great for them. 0.97
02:06:59.000 But when things aren't going great, then they're cunts. 0.95
02:07:01.000 And all of a sudden they... 0.92
02:07:04.000 That's because they weren't good guys though.
02:07:05.000 That's who they really were.
02:07:06.000 Yeah.
02:07:07.000 Well, they're just narcissists and they feel it's the same that old-school thing where they only want them to be successful and they only celebrate people that are way less successful than them if they do celebrate people.
02:07:17.000 Yeah.
02:07:17.000 It's always someone who's like kind of okay and then they pretend they're really amazing.
02:07:24.000 That shit's so, oh my god. 0.99
02:07:26.000 And then they'll tell people like Hassan or somebody that they can't overform. 1.00
02:07:29.000 Like, you know, they'll give him excuses of why.
02:07:30.000 Like, oh, just, you know, we're this or that.
02:07:32.000 It's like, no, he just murdered.
02:07:33.000 That's why.
02:07:33.000 Yeah.
02:07:34.000 Well, when you kick a guy off the tour because he's killing too hard, that's when it's a real problem.
02:07:38.000 I've seen that happen.
02:07:39.000 It's happened to your boy.
02:07:41.000 It's happened to your boy, Joe.
02:07:43.000 We know the names.
02:07:44.000 Come on.
02:07:44.000 Yeah.
02:07:45.000 But, you know, that's on them.
02:07:47.000 They have to live with that.
02:07:48.000 That's not good.
02:07:50.000 Take your medicine.
02:07:51.000 Yeah, also, don't you want the show to be good?
02:07:52.000 That's what I've been thinking about.
02:07:53.000 Don't you want the people in the show to also leave going, I love the whole show, not just the main guy.
02:07:58.000 I love the whole thing.
02:07:59.000 But I think what people could take out of this that don't give a fuck about comedy or stand-up is that the mentality of doing it the right way, you could apply that to everything in your life.
02:08:09.000 To everything.
02:08:11.000 You apply that to whatever you do for a living, apply that to your friendships, apply that to everything.
02:08:16.000 You'll have a better life.
02:08:17.000 It's a better way to live. 0.96
02:08:18.000 Fucking right. 0.95
02:08:19.000 And you can do it. 0.93
02:08:19.000 Everybody can do it. 0.93
02:08:20.000 It's not hard to do.
02:08:21.000 It's hard to do, but it's not like it's impossible.
02:08:26.000 It just requires a readjustment of the way you think about things.
02:08:31.000 Yeah, man.
02:08:32.000 Loving is so much more fun.
02:08:34.000 It's just loving is so much more fun.
02:08:36.000 Look at the dog, bro.
02:08:37.000 They're having a good time.
02:08:38.000 Just love.
02:08:39.000 Yeah, stop trying to be the man.
02:08:41.000 Even if you are the man, don't even think about it.
02:08:43.000 Just keep going.
02:08:45.000 Just have fun.
02:08:46.000 Just have a good time.
02:08:47.000 Even where you are, don't think about it.
02:08:49.000 Yeah, never dwell. 1.00
02:08:50.000 Don't dwell on that shit. 1.00
02:08:52.000 Think about what's important. 1.00
02:08:54.000 What's important is friendship, fun, this thing that you're trying to get better at, you know?
02:08:59.000 Community.
02:08:59.000 I love the community we have.
02:09:02.000 Yeah, and we all have very different versions of the same idea.
02:09:08.000 Like we're trying to develop great bits and trying to have a great set.
02:09:13.000 We're all trying to do a different version of that same idea.
02:09:17.000 So we're all just, all of us are working on shit, and we all have good advice for each other, like, you know, every now and then Tony will, like, hit you with a tagline, you know, someone will come up with, Brian will say, hey, you know, you do it like this, but I feel like one time I heard you, you did it different, and I like that better, like, oh yeah, that's right, 0.99
02:09:33.000 you know, and having guys like that is watch your shit, and Talk to you about it. 0.98
02:09:37.000 Well, you've said that to me, try to open it with this. 1.00
02:09:40.000 Sometimes just moving something.
02:09:43.000 Joey did say that to me also on the phone yesterday. 0.95
02:09:45.000 He was talking about this guy who went up and he said something kind of fucked up right away. 0.54
02:09:50.000 He goes, you can't just do that to him. 0.76
02:09:52.000 He goes, get him to fall in love with you first. 1.00
02:09:54.000 Don't just fucking dive into this stupid shit. 1.00
02:09:57.000 Get him to fall in love with you first. 1.00
02:09:58.000 Then you can get away with it later.
02:10:00.000 Get away with everything.
02:10:01.000 Yeah.
02:10:02.000 And it's also like you know them now.
02:10:05.000 They know you.
02:10:05.000 You know each other.
02:10:06.000 We like each other.
02:10:07.000 Now I can be free.
02:10:08.000 Now I can get loose.
02:10:09.000 I've heard you say that to Tony.
02:10:10.000 Like, Tony, smile.
02:10:12.000 Yeah.
02:10:12.000 Have a good time.
02:10:13.000 Smile.
02:10:13.000 Happy Tony's the best Tony.
02:10:14.000 When Tony's happy, it's the hardest murder.
02:10:16.000 It's great.
02:10:17.000 Me and Tony, it's like, settle down, Tony.
02:10:20.000 You need to go to the gym.
02:10:21.000 Yeah.
02:10:22.000 Okay?
02:10:22.000 Don't be so mean.
02:10:24.000 But it's, you know, that's like, that intensity is also, like, that could be harnessed.
02:10:30.000 Like, you could be, you have the same intensity, but don't focus it in, like, this angry, mean way, you know?
02:10:36.000 Yeah.
02:10:37.000 You focus it, what's the best way?
02:10:40.000 What's the best way to use this energy?
02:10:42.000 Don't just give in to the gluttony, you know?
02:10:46.000 Gluttony. 0.99
02:10:46.000 Yeah, the gluttony of anger, meanness, or whatever the fuck it is. 0.99
02:10:51.000 Just... 0.98
02:10:52.000 Have fun.
02:10:53.000 It comes up in us all though.
02:10:55.000 God, it comes up quick where you just feel some light. 0.98
02:10:57.000 God, what did you say that day we were working out and we were about to start talking shit and then Marshall came up and Marshall was like, and he was like, look at Marshall. 1.00
02:11:03.000 She's like, no daddy, stop talking shit! 1.00
02:11:05.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
02:11:07.000 And you're like, I know, Marshall, but I can't help it.
02:11:10.000 I know. 0.99
02:11:11.000 Yeah, we were talking shit, but we were right. 0.99
02:11:12.000 I mean, that's the best part. 1.00
02:11:13.000 Isn't that crazy that it turned out after we were talking that shit that it was confirmed? 0.99
02:11:17.000 I knew it. 1.00
02:11:19.000 Come on.
02:11:19.000 I knew it.
02:11:20.000 But that's, again, that's that old school stupid way of thinking that my dog does not participate in. 1.00
02:11:26.000 Marshall's like, yo, chill. 1.00
02:11:28.000 He's like...
02:11:29.000 No, everybody love everybody.
02:11:31.000 He's funny, man.
02:11:32.000 Hanging out. 0.99
02:11:32.000 We're doing kettlebell swings and shit. 0.99
02:11:34.000 I know. 0.99
02:11:35.000 She's just running in between legs. 1.00
02:11:36.000 Hey, don't misgender my dog.
02:11:38.000 Jesus Christ.
02:11:39.000 His name is Marshall.
02:11:39.000 Joe, you know I like him.
02:11:40.000 You know I like him.
02:11:41.000 I know.
02:11:41.000 That's the problem.
02:11:43.000 That's the problem, Derek.
02:11:46.000 That's the problem.
02:11:46.000 It's a good time for you.
02:11:48.000 Oh, bro.
02:11:48.000 The world is changing in my favor, baby.
02:11:50.000 It's for your boy.
02:11:51.000 I feel like I'm a part of it. 0.99
02:11:52.000 How did you develop a like of trans porn? 0.99
02:11:56.000 Honestly? 1.00
02:11:57.000 Honestly.
02:11:58.000 Just scrolling through porn one regular day, just like any other day.
02:12:02.000 Regular guy, nothing's wrong with you.
02:12:03.000 Nothing wrong.
02:12:04.000 Didn't get struck by lightning.
02:12:05.000 Nope, just scrolling through. 1.00
02:12:06.000 I saw a woman with a fucking hog. 1.00
02:12:09.000 Yeah? 1.00
02:12:10.000 And was like...
02:12:12.000 And she was beautiful.
02:12:14.000 She was actually beautiful.
02:12:15.000 Did you get confused?
02:12:16.000 No, I was finally not confused.
02:12:19.000 You just gave into it.
02:12:20.000 I was immediately...
02:12:21.000 Oh! 0.60
02:12:21.000 You liked it. 0.60
02:12:22.000 I told my wife. 1.00
02:12:22.000 I said, yo, what the fuck is this? 1.00
02:12:24.000 What'd she say? 1.00
02:12:26.000 It's wrong with you. 1.00
02:12:28.000 What the fuck is wrong with you, man? 1.00
02:12:29.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00
02:12:30.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00
02:12:31.000 And I was like, yo, I like this. 0.99
02:12:33.000 That's also what I don't like is the guys who don't want to act like they don't watch it.
02:12:37.000 20 million views every video.
02:12:39.000 It ain't just me, baby.
02:12:40.000 It ain't just your boy.
02:12:42.000 It's a lot.
02:12:42.000 You know what I saw that was real disturbing?
02:12:44.000 Someone posted this video.
02:12:46.000 This is totally unrelated.
02:12:47.000 So no one thinks I'm connecting these two, but someone posted this thing on Instagram of a video of showing children dancing around, like the people posting their children dancing around, and then they went and saw, like, who is liking this video and who's following this video,
02:13:06.000 who's following this person, and then they went to those accounts, and they went to some of those accounts, and some of those accounts are for, like, straight-up pedophiles.
02:13:14.000 Yeah! 1.00
02:13:15.000 Straight-up pedophiles who are, like, Watching your kid dance around, and they're watching your kid, and they're fucking legit sex offenders, and they're online. 1.00
02:13:26.000 Yeah, that's fucking why you shouldn't have your kids online. 0.99
02:13:28.000 Yeah, and some of them have a different language, so you use a translator, and you can translate it and see what they're saying. 0.99
02:13:37.000 Yeah.
02:13:38.000 Yeah, they're real, man.
02:13:41.000 Don't put your kids online, kids.
02:13:43.000 No!
02:13:44.000 Don't do that.
02:13:44.000 There's transport on there.
02:13:46.000 You can't see that, young.
02:13:49.000 Yeah.
02:13:50.000 You can't.
02:13:51.000 Kids today are just being inundated with images and things that we never saw when we were kids.
02:13:57.000 Well, I'm obviously a lot older than you, but even you never saw.
02:14:00.000 No.
02:14:01.000 This is new.
02:14:02.000 When was the first time you saw someone get murdered on Instagram?
02:14:06.000 Great question.
02:14:07.000 I would say...
02:14:11.000 20s, probably like mid-20s, where you're like, whoa. 0.99
02:14:15.000 I've seen a video of just somebody falling or somebody getting hit by something, where you're like, what the fuck? 0.91
02:14:20.000 Where you're like, oh, that person's dead. 0.97
02:14:22.000 So I'd say, yeah, when I was like mid-late 20s, when you started seeing people just die, scrolling through your phone.
02:14:27.000 Dude, I see it all the time.
02:14:28.000 Almost every day, I see people die.
02:14:31.000 Almost every day.
02:14:32.000 Yeah.
02:14:33.000 I was on Twitter yesterday and I saw this video of this dude.
02:14:38.000 This lady was complaining that this dude was too loud. 1.00
02:14:41.000 She was trying to go to sleep.
02:14:42.000 So the guy beat her to death in the hallway.
02:14:47.000 I don't know what he had in his hand because it's kind of a blurry security camera.
02:14:50.000 But he keeps hitting her with this thing and then she pleads for him and then he hits her in the head and she goes unconscious and then he gets on top of her and is just beating her to death.
02:15:01.000 And then they had him, according to this post, they had him in jail.
02:15:05.000 They had him in trial.
02:15:07.000 And she said she wanted to go to sleep but now she sleeps real good.
02:15:11.000 Like, after he beat her to death.
02:15:13.000 I don't know if he actually said that or if someone was right. 0.99
02:15:15.000 Yeah, with the fucking movie lines? 0.99
02:15:17.000 The video of him doing it, though, is the most disturbing shit you'll ever see. 1.00
02:15:21.000 It's like this lady. 0.99
02:15:22.000 This, like, overweight lady who can't defend herself at all. 1.00
02:15:25.000 And she's got her hands up.
02:15:26.000 She's getting just beaten. 1.00
02:15:28.000 Bro, I can't watch that shit. 1.00
02:15:29.000 I scroll by it. 1.00
02:15:31.000 I can't watch.
02:15:31.000 It's impossible to be watching.
02:15:32.000 It's horrible.
02:15:33.000 It's horrible to watch.
02:15:34.000 And there's so many of them.
02:15:35.000 So many people get stabbed and shot.
02:15:38.000 Ran over by cars. 1.00
02:15:40.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
02:15:41.000 And people post it casually. 1.00
02:15:43.000 That's what I don't...
02:15:43.000 To post it so casually is wow.
02:15:45.000 There was one street takeover yesterday in Chicago.
02:15:48.000 And I guess it was a cop that had just gotten off duty.
02:15:53.000 And he was driving through.
02:15:54.000 And he tried to drive through the street takeover.
02:15:56.000 And they shot him.
02:15:59.000 Multiple times.
02:16:00.000 So this cop's in his car, and he hit some people. 0.98
02:16:03.000 There's like, you know, they're trying to block the road and shit. 0.98
02:16:06.000 And he's trying to get through. 0.96
02:16:07.000 And, you know, he thinks he's a cop, so he's going to be able to do this.
02:16:10.000 And you hear just...
02:16:13.000 Somebody just unloads a gun on him. 1.00
02:16:15.000 Bro, that shit makes me sick. 1.00
02:16:16.000 Because you'll hear about a rapper dying, and then two seconds later you'll just see the video. 1.00
02:16:20.000 And it's like, I don't think I'm supposed to live like that.
02:16:24.000 What happens if Kendrick Lamar and Drake run into each other in the wild? 0.98
02:16:31.000 Drake would fucking destroy that little guy. 0.99
02:16:34.000 Yeah, he's a tiny little dude. 1.00
02:16:35.000 He's a tiny little dude.
02:16:36.000 But what if Kendrick is expecting that?
02:16:39.000 So he comes prepared.
02:16:41.000 I mean, the nice thing I like about this era is everyone's way gayer. 0.99
02:16:44.000 Everyone's just so fucking gay and nice. 0.98
02:16:47.000 Everybody has their fingernails painted and everybody's... 0.99
02:16:51.000 I don't believe this is a Tupac Biggie era.
02:16:54.000 I think that's honestly when that ended.
02:16:57.000 As far as rappers still get killed, but I think the idea of rappers killing each other, I feel like that was like, oh man, this made me win a little too far.
02:17:03.000 I feel like that's people that are confident that no one's going to use the nuclear bomb today.
02:17:08.000 Just because they haven't used the nuclear bomb since 1945. Derek, relax.
02:17:12.000 We're not nuking each other.
02:17:14.000 You say that.
02:17:15.000 You say that, but it happened.
02:17:17.000 It happened in history, you know?
02:17:19.000 Tyranny has always taken place. 0.55
02:17:21.000 There's tyranny right now in the world, right?
02:17:22.000 There's North Korea.
02:17:23.000 You go there, it's run by a dictator.
02:17:25.000 Yeah.
02:17:25.000 Full-on communism.
02:17:27.000 That shit exists. 1.00
02:17:28.000 It's real. 1.00
02:17:28.000 It's today. 1.00
02:17:29.000 2024. You wake up normal in America, living in Texas. 0.66
02:17:32.000 Yeehaw, land of the free.
02:17:34.000 Not there.
02:17:34.000 Not there.
02:17:35.000 Same timeline, same time on earth.
02:17:37.000 It exists.
02:17:38.000 This is a human, natural human pattern.
02:17:41.000 And to think that the rappers can't shoot each other today is crazy.
02:17:45.000 I know, but I don't want them to. 0.99
02:17:46.000 They're so fucking, they're so not tough. 0.98
02:17:49.000 Because like, what I like about Tupac and Biggie, they were fucking real, man. 0.99
02:17:52.000 Not to say that Drake and Kendrick didn't come up. 0.74
02:17:54.000 I'm sure Kendrick from Compton. 1.00
02:17:55.000 He's probably seen some fucking shit. 1.00
02:17:56.000 But what he raps about is that he's literally a good kid from this mad city. 1.00
02:18:00.000 Drake raps about how he's this sensitive guy who just wants to fall in love.
02:18:03.000 You know what I mean?
02:18:04.000 You can't put those words back in a bottle. 0.99
02:18:08.000 You know, you say some dark shit about people's families. 0.99
02:18:10.000 Like, why? 1.00
02:18:12.000 Damn you, Kate. 1.00
02:18:13.000 But why also? 1.00
02:18:14.000 It's like, do you want to engage in that?
02:18:17.000 For what reason?
02:18:18.000 What's the end goal?
02:18:20.000 Don't you, like, you know, one of the things that people do, like, in a street fight.
02:18:24.000 People don't think, where does this go?
02:18:26.000 They just think, I want to punch this guy. 1.00
02:18:28.000 Fuck this dude, I'm gonna punch this guy. 1.00
02:18:29.000 And you think you can just punch that guy. 1.00
02:18:31.000 But now you've created a real problem.
02:18:33.000 Because if that guy's still alive, he's gonna remember that you punched him and he's gonna want to get it back.
02:18:38.000 And he's gonna figure out a way to do it.
02:18:40.000 You know, maybe.
02:18:41.000 If he's the type of dude who's getting involved in street fights, he probably makes bad decisions.
02:18:45.000 And so you've set off a chain of events that could lead to your death, other people's deaths, prison time, all kinds of crazy shit that can happen.
02:18:52.000 Just because you couldn't keep your emotions controlled in one moment and you didn't think it out. 0.99
02:18:57.000 You think, I'm just gonna fuck this guy up. 0.98
02:18:59.000 It's not that simple. 1.00
02:19:01.000 Nobody likes getting fucked up. 0.98
02:19:02.000 They're gonna come back tomorrow with some friends. 1.00
02:19:04.000 They're gonna get a gun.
02:19:05.000 Someone's gonna do something. 1.00
02:19:07.000 Yeah, these motherfuckers are talking about each other's kids. 1.00
02:19:09.000 That's what I'm saying. 1.00
02:19:10.000 On songs.
02:19:10.000 Talking about each other's actual children.
02:19:12.000 So it can't be that they're thinking about where this goes.
02:19:15.000 Because if you thought about where this goes, it don't go to anywhere good.
02:19:18.000 It goes only one place.
02:19:19.000 You know what's funny?
02:19:19.000 Because right now everyone's like, oh, Kendrick's killing him.
02:19:21.000 And we were talking about this with Shultz.
02:19:22.000 And I was like, yeah, I'd say Kendrick is up right now.
02:19:24.000 He's probably winning this battle right now.
02:19:25.000 He's being way meaner, clever, all that stuff.
02:19:27.000 But I don't think when he went to bed, he felt good.
02:19:30.000 No.
02:19:31.000 No.
02:19:32.000 No.
02:19:32.000 It can't be why you got into this business.
02:19:35.000 There's no way.
02:19:36.000 And also for you two to be the two biggest rappers in the world and doing this, it can't feel good.
02:19:41.000 Because you know what's funny?
02:19:42.000 I wanted it.
02:19:43.000 I'm one of the people that when it first happened, I was like, guys, the two best are going at it.
02:19:47.000 This is what we want.
02:19:48.000 And now that it's happened, I'm like, wow, I didn't want this at all.
02:19:51.000 This is dark.
02:19:51.000 And it seems like this one, how many songs have they released so far?
02:19:54.000 I think they're both at like three or four.
02:19:56.000 I think they're both at three.
02:19:58.000 They're both at four.
02:19:59.000 Eight songs for each.
02:20:01.000 Four each.
02:20:02.000 Jesus Christ.
02:20:03.000 Eight.
02:20:04.000 That's so crazy.
02:20:05.000 Now imagine if they put that much creativity into positivity.
02:20:09.000 Imagine if they just released new bangers all the time that they created based on world events.
02:20:15.000 You know?
02:20:16.000 They have eight songs together.
02:20:17.000 Yeah.
02:20:17.000 They have about eight right now together.
02:20:18.000 If Nas was mad at Israel and Palestine going to war and just went at them the way he went at Jay-Z. How genius would that be?
02:20:27.000 That would be crazy.
02:20:28.000 Wouldn't it be genius?
02:20:29.000 That would be wild.
02:20:30.000 Oh my god.
02:20:32.000 I bet Nas could do that. 1.00
02:20:33.000 Nas might be able to make that war look stupid. 1.00
02:20:35.000 Yeah, he ethered it? 1.00
02:20:36.000 Yeah, he ethered the war.
02:20:37.000 He ethered the whole thing?
02:20:38.000 Knocked it out?
02:20:39.000 Both sides. 1.00
02:20:40.000 All this stupid shit that is being said by both sides. 1.00
02:20:43.000 Both sides justifying the death of innocence. 1.00
02:20:46.000 Even Jay-Z lived off.
02:20:47.000 That thing's living off.
02:20:50.000 Like, oh my god, all the college protests.
02:20:53.000 The kids are getting arrested.
02:20:54.000 That's just crazy, Joe.
02:20:56.000 Not just that, but they're like spray painting up schools and camping out.
02:21:01.000 Kids are camping out.
02:21:02.000 They're just looking for this cause that somehow or another is going to elevate their status.
02:21:07.000 That's a part of it.
02:21:08.000 And also being outraged at what is happening in Palestine, which is legitimate. 0.99
02:21:13.000 But it's also been a part Of anti-war protests forever.
02:21:17.000 And what's scary is...
02:21:19.000 Do you know what happened at Kent State?
02:21:21.000 No.
02:21:21.000 In Ohio?
02:21:23.000 Kent State was a cause that was having an anti-war protest, and they sent in the National Guard, and the National Guard wound up shooting people.
02:21:32.000 So they were shooting kids.
02:21:34.000 So it was Neil Young wrote a song about it. 0.97
02:21:37.000 It became like a cultural moment where we realized how fucking insane things had gotten that the army or the National Guard was shooting, shooting students for anti-war protests. 0.99
02:21:54.000 I mean, they just fucking shot people. 0.99
02:21:55.000 Four kills in Kent State shooting. 1.00
02:21:58.000 The fuck? 1.00
02:21:58.000 Yeah, they broke up this peaceful protest by students with guns and the army. 1.00
02:22:04.000 They sent the army in and they shot people.
02:22:09.000 It was crazy. 1.00
02:22:11.000 Fucking crazy. 0.99
02:22:12.000 What year was this? 0.99
02:22:13.000 This is 74, I think.
02:22:15.000 What year was this?
02:22:17.000 70?
02:22:17.000 1970. Sorry, 70. They shot people.
02:22:20.000 Killed kids.
02:22:22.000 Four students and wounding, nine others. 0.65
02:22:24.000 Men and women. 0.97
02:22:25.000 Killed them. 1.00
02:22:26.000 On a college kid? 0.99
02:22:27.000 With rifles.
02:22:28.000 With rifles. 0.98
02:22:29.000 Like their armed combatants trying to kill women and children. 0.86
02:22:32.000 No.
02:22:33.000 They're just kids.
02:22:35.000 Young people who didn't know any better being shot by young people who don't know any better.
02:22:40.000 Yeah, it's horrible, man. 1.00
02:22:41.000 It's fucking horrible. 0.99
02:22:43.000 Yeah, what's going on? 0.99
02:22:44.000 That image of that lady screaming. 0.93
02:22:46.000 Yeah, that's so visceral, man.
02:22:47.000 Bro, this can happen here.
02:22:49.000 Look at the blood pouring out of her. 1.00
02:22:50.000 That is so crazy.
02:22:51.000 Or him, I don't know.
02:22:53.000 This can happen here today, man.
02:22:55.000 This is why conflict is not good in any way, shape, or form. 0.99
02:22:58.000 And anybody that encourages conflict is foolish. 1.00
02:23:01.000 It's foolish. 0.99
02:23:03.000 Man, me and my wife, we live next door to the Jewish fraternity on UT's campus, and they have 24-hour armed guards outside now. 0.99
02:23:11.000 That's a new thing.
02:23:12.000 We've lived by them for the last three years since that happened on the UT campus.
02:23:16.000 That's what it's like over there now.
02:23:18.000 So you can tell it's just at their frat, not at the other ones. 1.00
02:23:21.000 So it's like, what the fuck? 0.99
02:23:22.000 Yeah, and so they're arresting kids that are on the campuses, and then the kids become more emboldened, and now there's more of them, and more colleges are having this now, where kids are setting up these camps. 0.99
02:23:35.000 They're launching these camps.
02:23:37.000 They're all sleeping on the lawn. 1.00
02:23:38.000 On the lawns and the tents and shit. 1.00
02:23:40.000 Yeah. 0.97
02:23:41.000 And then if you stop it, they say you're stopping their freedom of speech.
02:23:46.000 But no, because freedom of speech is you have the ability to protest and to say things and to go out there with signs and to express yourself online.
02:23:57.000 But you don't have the ability to camp places.
02:24:00.000 You can't just set up a house.
02:24:04.000 On the school lawn and keep it there until you decide that it's time to go.
02:24:08.000 Now you're violating the school's property.
02:24:10.000 Yeah, because if you can do it, then why can't homeless people just do it?
02:24:12.000 Now what are we doing?
02:24:12.000 Why can't everybody do it?
02:24:13.000 Yeah, why can't I just do it?
02:24:14.000 Yeah, I think that we have to address climate change.
02:24:17.000 I'm going to set up a tent.
02:24:17.000 And if you open up the door for that, regardless of how you feel about whether or not people should be outraged, and I think they should, You can't just let people camp places.
02:24:29.000 And it doesn't say that in the First Amendment.
02:24:30.000 You can just take over places.
02:24:32.000 Yeah.
02:24:33.000 Yell at Jewish students that didn't have nothing to do with it and demand compliance. 0.87
02:24:37.000 And, you know, it's a lot of people that, like, all of a sudden they have something to look forward to.
02:24:42.000 That's, like, something important in their life.
02:24:45.000 You can feel that.
02:24:46.000 My friend Constantine from Trigonometry, he went to one of those protests.
02:24:50.000 What college was that?
02:24:51.000 What do you went to, Jamie?
02:24:53.000 And he was talking to these kids.
02:24:55.000 It was in New York, right?
02:24:56.000 The Columbia?
02:24:57.000 I think it was that one. 0.99
02:24:59.000 Most of them had no idea what the fuck they were there for. 0.99
02:25:01.000 They didn't understand the conflict. 0.99
02:25:03.000 They didn't understand anything.
02:25:04.000 They were given signs by people.
02:25:05.000 He interviewed a bunch of people that he tried to ask them and they would get upset at him.
02:25:10.000 He's like, I'm just genuinely curious.
02:25:12.000 They didn't really know what was going on.
02:25:14.000 They didn't have a real position.
02:25:15.000 They didn't know what the river to the sea means.
02:25:17.000 They didn't know any of that stuff.
02:25:19.000 How did this all get started?
02:25:20.000 Do you know the history of I'm going to get arrested on school campus for it, and you don't even know what's going on.
02:25:35.000 That's wild to me.
02:25:37.000 Yeah.
02:25:37.000 It's wild.
02:25:38.000 The whole thing is wild.
02:25:39.000 Do you think it's because of just internet?
02:25:40.000 People want that community.
02:25:41.000 I want to feel like I got a tribe.
02:25:44.000 I'm not alone.
02:25:45.000 And you're a good person if you want to stop genocide.
02:25:48.000 That's not true.
02:25:49.000 Yeah.
02:25:49.000 Trying to stop genocide over here, Derek.
02:25:52.000 Camping to stop genocide.
02:25:53.000 It looks like he's in London.
02:25:55.000 That's where they live, right?
02:25:56.000 It could be New York, too, though, bro.
02:25:59.000 He's got a hat on.
02:26:00.000 I'm trying to judge by where they're at.
02:26:04.000 Listen to his...
02:26:05.000 Gaza, West Bank, them people to be free, yeah.
02:26:08.000 Gaza and West Bank.
02:26:09.000 Yeah, all Palestinians in general, you know, because we know that what's going on. 0.74
02:26:12.000 All of them are being oppressed, so for them to be free, you know, it's nothing, you know, it's clear as day, you know.
02:26:17.000 Yeah, yeah, well, I was just asking them which bit of the land they...
02:26:20.000 This wasn't a college protest, this was just Israel.
02:26:22.000 That was just a Palestine protest.
02:26:24.000 He's done quite a few of these, and they've done a bunch of different people have done them as well on college campuses, asking kids.
02:26:30.000 But a lot of these are, they were a bunch of college kids that he interviewed in this, one of these protests.
02:26:35.000 They don't know what they're protesting, or some of them do, but a lot of them don't.
02:26:39.000 They're there because they think you're supposed to be a good person.
02:26:41.000 And one of them actually said, oh, my friend said, do you want to go protest?
02:26:45.000 And I was like, okay.
02:26:46.000 So I came.
02:26:48.000 That makes more sense.
02:26:50.000 That makes more sense to me, why kids are...
02:26:51.000 Because I talked to a sign about it, because I just don't really understand.
02:26:54.000 I was like, why are kids from colleges...
02:26:56.000 I know this isn't affecting your life.
02:26:58.000 I've been in college before.
02:27:00.000 And then I was like, oh, well, maybe I played football.
02:27:02.000 I had a tribe of friends that I was already...
02:27:04.000 So the idea of trying to get into another group of friends, that's what I think it really is.
02:27:09.000 You want to feel some community.
02:27:11.000 Yeah, that's a big part of it.
02:27:12.000 And also...
02:27:13.000 Genocide.
02:27:15.000 If you watch, they did some drone footage that showed a drone flying over Gaza before October 7th, and then that same drone flying over Gaza today.
02:27:26.000 It's crazy.
02:27:28.000 It's crazy.
02:27:29.000 It's crazy.
02:27:30.000 They've erased just giant blocks of this city.
02:27:34.000 It's just erased.
02:27:37.000 Before October 7th, there was like ships.
02:27:40.000 They flew the drone.
02:27:41.000 See if you can find it.
02:27:42.000 If not, I could probably find it.
02:27:44.000 But they flew the drone over the sea.
02:27:46.000 So you see the ships in the sea.
02:27:49.000 This might not be the exact same one.
02:27:50.000 Mmm, not the exact same one. 0.99
02:27:53.000 Damn! 0.99
02:27:53.000 But yeah, you see how the universities have been destroyed. 0.99
02:27:57.000 Look at this university.
02:27:57.000 Look how nice it was!
02:27:58.000 Destroyed.
02:27:59.000 It was gorgeous.
02:28:00.000 Yeah.
02:28:01.000 Look at it.
02:28:02.000 Everything's just...
02:28:04.000 Targeted educational facilities under false premise.
02:28:08.000 Look at that.
02:28:10.000 So they targeted educational institutions because, well, I don't know if it's false premises.
02:28:15.000 So the problem is you don't know.
02:28:18.000 Unless you're there, you don't know.
02:28:20.000 Like, they do have tunnels.
02:28:21.000 They do embed themselves in hospitals.
02:28:24.000 They do embed themselves in different places. 0.99
02:28:26.000 And Israel doesn't give a fuck. 0.99
02:28:28.000 They're just going to bomb wherever the bad people are, no matter what's there. 0.99
02:28:31.000 Whether it's a school or whether it's a mosque and...
02:28:35.000 They're just bombing. 0.98
02:28:36.000 And if you watch what it used to look like versus what it looks like now, it's fucking terrifying, man. 0.97
02:28:42.000 It's terrifying. 0.97
02:28:44.000 Look at that.
02:28:45.000 Yeah, that's the same.
02:28:47.000 It's crazy, man.
02:28:48.000 Everything's just blown the fuck up and no one's there and the streets are empty.
02:28:51.000 I mean, look at this.
02:28:54.000 I mean, imagine if you used to live there.
02:28:56.000 Because in your head in America, you're like, oh, that wouldn't happen to me.
02:28:58.000 But it's like, why wouldn't it?
02:28:59.000 It looks like a nice building in America.
02:29:01.000 It looks like a regular nice building.
02:29:02.000 That's human beings doing that to other human beings.
02:29:05.000 That can happen anywhere in the world.
02:29:06.000 That can happen right here. 0.99
02:29:08.000 And if we didn't have a strong military and we didn't have intelligence agencies that keep terrorist attacks from taking place and all this shit. 0.94
02:29:16.000 But then again, how much are we doing in other countries that is getting people to want to do something like that here? 0.96
02:29:23.000 It's scary stuff, man.
02:29:24.000 Scary stuff because it's not you and it's not me.
02:29:27.000 It's leaders that are telling gigantic groups of people that you're opposed to these people over here. 0.99
02:29:32.000 And you get them to be a part of that community, be a part of the tribe, whatever side, whether you're an IDF soldier, whether you're Hamas, you feel like you're on the right side, you're going to fuck those people up. 0.99
02:29:45.000 It's a horrible instinct that human beings have. 0.94
02:29:47.000 We've had since the beginning of civilization, just tribal warfare.
02:29:52.000 It's just tribal warfare on a global scale with insanely sophisticated technology, at least on one side.
02:29:59.000 You're right, because it's like, if it was happening when we were cavemen or when we were, you know, in tribes, it's not like it's any different.
02:30:05.000 It's the same thing, just on a...
02:30:06.000 We can communicate now.
02:30:08.000 We can...
02:30:08.000 Yep, and with the whole world's watching it.
02:30:10.000 And then it also gives people an opportunity, like these college kids, to protest it and to feel like they're virtuous by camping out and they're not going to take their studies and...
02:30:21.000 One girl, there was an interview that she found out she wasn't even going to graduate because she had gotten arrested for protests.
02:30:29.000 And so her family's flying in to see her graduate and she wasn't going to graduate. 0.99
02:30:33.000 She was like, oh shit. 1.00
02:30:38.000 You realize, like, what the fuck did I do? 1.00
02:30:41.000 I thought this was fun. 0.98
02:30:42.000 I just wanted to graduate.
02:30:44.000 I need a job.
02:30:45.000 My parents paid for this.
02:30:47.000 And that's a lot of it, too.
02:30:49.000 A lot of it was, like, young, rich kids.
02:30:51.000 You have to be a young, rich kid, I feel like.
02:30:52.000 Those kids that glue themselves to, like, paintings and stuff to stop oil now, almost all from wealthy families.
02:30:59.000 Almost all of them are at least upper middle class, highly educated. 0.97
02:31:04.000 People that grew up in a struggle, they don't have time to glue themselves to the fucking wall of the museum, okay? 0.98
02:31:09.000 You know, you have to pay for your mom. 0.98
02:31:11.000 Your mom doesn't have any money, and you have a side job while you're at school.
02:31:15.000 Dad's got an injury. 1.00
02:31:16.000 Yeah, real shit. 1.00
02:31:17.000 Real shit. 1.00
02:31:18.000 Real shit. 1.00
02:31:18.000 You don't have time to glue yourself to a wall or cut up paintings. 1.00
02:31:21.000 You see these fucking psychopaths cut up these paintings from like the 1800s, slice them up with a razor blade. 1.00
02:31:29.000 Priceless paintings. 1.00
02:31:30.000 Hundreds of years old.
02:31:32.000 I don't understand, because you would think those people would be the people who love art, since you're so, you would love art.
02:31:37.000 Yeah, but they don't love art by colonizers and slave owners. 1.00
02:31:40.000 And the thing is, if you go back far enough in history, everyone's a piece of shit. 1.00
02:31:45.000 You go back far enough in history, you don't listen to Socrates because he's a pedophile. 1.00
02:31:48.000 You go back in history, you don't worship the Spartans. 1.00
02:31:52.000 They all fucked each other. 1.00
02:31:54.000 They fucked their kids. 1.00
02:31:55.000 They fucked everybody. 1.00
02:31:56.000 These were wild people, man. 1.00
02:32:00.000 Pedophiles back then, it was so common.
02:32:03.000 They talked about having young boy lovers.
02:32:06.000 It was like an open thing.
02:32:09.000 You know, in other parts of the world right now, in Afghanistan, my friends that have gone to Afghanistan and served there, they'll go, dude, it's crazy. 0.98
02:32:15.000 Some of the shit you see in Afghanistan. 0.96
02:32:18.000 With these young boys that get swapped around. 1.00
02:32:21.000 Oh, dude, dark shit. 1.00
02:32:23.000 That's fucked up, too. 1.00
02:32:24.000 Dark shit. 1.00
02:32:25.000 And young boys that they use for sex, and these guys don't shave their face. 1.00
02:32:29.000 Or they shave their face, rather, where everybody else grows out a beard. 0.98
02:32:31.000 Yeah. 0.93
02:32:32.000 And they know it, and they have, like, gay guys.
02:32:34.000 And they just... 0.97
02:32:35.000 Toss them around.
02:32:36.000 So they use women for procreation, some of these people, and they use the boys for fun. 1.00
02:32:41.000 Yeah, what the fuck, dude? 0.99
02:32:43.000 And if you go back far enough in history, that's why you have to take down Thomas Jefferson's statue. 1.00
02:32:50.000 That's why even Abraham Lincoln's piece of shit. 0.99
02:32:53.000 Because Abraham Lincoln, even though he freed the slaves, and even though Abraham Lincoln was the President of the United States during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln also wrote about black people that they were less than 100% of a human being. 1.00
02:33:07.000 He didn't consider them, like, the same as white people.
02:33:10.000 Yeah.
02:33:11.000 Even him. 1.00
02:33:11.000 So you gotta go, well, he's a piece of shit, too. 1.00
02:33:13.000 And then you go back to George Washington, who founded this country. 1.00
02:33:16.000 Fucking fuck that guy. 1.00
02:33:17.000 So it's fuck everybody. 1.00
02:33:18.000 I mean, what are we doing, bro? 1.00
02:33:20.000 I remember Trump said this once when they were taking down statues of Confederate soldiers.
02:33:24.000 They were taking down a statue of Robert E. Lee.
02:33:27.000 And he said, what's next?
02:33:28.000 Are you going to take down George Washington?
02:33:29.000 And everyone was like, no way.
02:33:31.000 Meanwhile, a couple years later, they're taking down George Washington statues. 0.99
02:33:34.000 Damn. 0.99
02:33:34.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:33:35.000 Bro, everybody was a piece of shit back then. 1.00
02:33:38.000 And people will bring up, like, you know, Martin Luther King Jr. cheated on his wife. 1.00
02:33:43.000 It's like, man, that's not the point.
02:33:47.000 Yeah, I don't like when people do that, when they try to erase art or history, because people were humans.
02:33:52.000 By the way, he did, and they recorded him.
02:33:54.000 So, like, they probably set him up, too. 1.00
02:33:57.000 So they probably brought in hot ladies to fuck him. 1.00
02:34:00.000 And he was probably like, yeah, I like hot pussy. 1.00
02:34:03.000 I'm tired. 1.00
02:34:03.000 I've been trying to stop... 1.00
02:34:05.000 Racism all day.
02:34:05.000 Trying to stop people from dying.
02:34:07.000 Trying to get everybody to get along.
02:34:08.000 I need to get along. 0.93
02:34:10.000 Yeah, so it's like, if you go back far enough, like JFK was a notorious womanizer. 0.77
02:34:14.000 It doesn't mean they should have shot him. 0.67
02:34:16.000 You know? 1.00
02:34:17.000 Like, hey, they fucking murdered the president. 1.00
02:34:19.000 Stop concentrating on the fact that he fucked Marilyn Monroe. 1.00
02:34:22.000 There's a lot of other shit there. 1.00
02:34:23.000 There's a lot of other shit going on. 1.00
02:34:24.000 But if you go, like, way, way back, like, everybody's a piece of shit. 1.00
02:34:28.000 Human beings were horrible to each other 1,000 years ago, 2,000 years ago, 3,000 years ago. 1.00
02:34:34.000 Murder was normal. 1.00
02:34:35.000 God, that Aztec shit just rolling bodies down the steps. 1.00
02:34:38.000 Oh, my God, dude. 1.00
02:34:38.000 Come on. 1.00
02:34:39.000 Oh, my God, dude.
02:34:41.000 That apocalypto movie, you ever seen that? 1.00
02:34:42.000 That kind of, that shit? 1.00
02:34:43.000 Oh, man. 1.00
02:34:44.000 What is that temple again?
02:34:46.000 Teotihuacan?
02:34:47.000 The temple of Tenochtitlan?
02:34:49.000 Tenochtitlan.
02:34:49.000 The temple of Tenochtitlan by the Aztecs.
02:34:51.000 They don't even know how many people they slaughtered afterwards, but they sacrificed thousands and thousands of slaves.
02:34:58.000 The upper number is like 80,000.
02:35:01.000 Some people say it might have been as low as 20,000. 0.99
02:35:03.000 Whatever the fuck it was. 0.98
02:35:04.000 The moment they were finished with the temples that they built, okay. 1.00
02:35:09.000 Time to die! 0.99
02:35:10.000 We're not gonna feed you anymore. 1.00
02:35:11.000 You've finished your work. 1.00
02:35:12.000 We're gonna fucking sacrifice you to the gods. 1.00
02:35:15.000 Bro, they had like... 1.00
02:35:17.000 The Mayans had this really creepy...
02:35:19.000 When I went to Chichen Itza, they have this human sacrifice, like, tray. 0.99
02:35:26.000 It's like a guy who's like lying on his back and there's like a flat thing in front where they would cut people's fucking heads off in front of everybody. 0.96
02:35:35.000 So it's at the top of the stairs of this pyramid. 0.99
02:35:37.000 You see this thing and they would fucking lay someone down there. 0.97
02:35:42.000 And the city's just... 0.99
02:35:43.000 Yeah, and just throw that head down the stairs. 1.00
02:35:46.000 The head would bounce down the stairs.
02:35:48.000 They don't even know if sometimes...
02:35:49.000 There's speculation that sometimes they use heads to play games.
02:35:53.000 They use human heads to play, like, ball games with. 0.99
02:35:58.000 Those dudes were fucking wild. 1.00
02:35:59.000 They were wild, dude. 1.00
02:36:01.000 They had ballgames where the winning team was slaughtered.
02:36:04.000 The winning team was sacrificed.
02:36:06.000 I've heard about that, and then that was the honor, right?
02:36:08.000 You still wanted to win.
02:36:10.000 This is one of those things where the guide told me this when we had a really good guide in Chichen Itza. 0.99
02:36:15.000 You pay for a professional guide, and this guy was cool as fuck.
02:36:18.000 And he also told me that There was something that they were doing, some sort of psychedelic compound that they were doing in this one very specific area. 0.98
02:36:26.000 It was like there was certain things that they did that mimicked or that had lysergic acid in it, which is like LSD. And so he was explaining all that stuff to me.
02:36:35.000 They were just talking about the nature of like a lot of these sacrifices and that they used to think that they would sacrifice the losing team.
02:36:43.000 But then they switched it and they think, no, they think they sacrificed the winning team.
02:36:48.000 Which is crazy. 0.99
02:36:49.000 That means no one ever got good at the fucking... 0.99
02:36:50.000 You win the NBA and everybody gets their head cut off in front of everybody. 1.00
02:36:54.000 You won!
02:36:54.000 Now it's time to go to the gods!
02:36:57.000 That's crazy.
02:36:58.000 Meanwhile, they thought it was the way to go.
02:36:59.000 Like, this is gonna be amazing.
02:37:00.000 I'm going to heaven.
02:37:02.000 Meanwhile, they come back as a moth. 1.00
02:37:04.000 Fuck! 1.00
02:37:05.000 Badass athlete. 1.00
02:37:06.000 Now I'm just going towards the flames. 1.00
02:37:08.000 Fuck. 1.00
02:37:09.000 This is bullshit. 1.00
02:37:11.000 Oh my god, I was so cocky. 1.00
02:37:12.000 I thought I was gonna make it.
02:37:14.000 Joe.
02:37:15.000 Yeah.
02:37:16.000 Is that true though, that they sacrificed the winning team?
02:37:18.000 I've heard that.
02:37:19.000 Google that.
02:37:20.000 I've heard that.
02:37:21.000 I heard that from that guy who's the guide.
02:37:24.000 But this is, you know, 2000. People didn't know much back then.
02:37:28.000 You know, it was like...
02:37:32.000 I don't know to this day how much they know.
02:37:36.000 They don't know what happened, where everybody went.
02:37:39.000 Where are they?
02:37:40.000 I think they died from disease.
02:37:42.000 I think they died from the same diseases that most of the Native Americans were killed with.
02:37:47.000 When the Europeans showed up with smallpox, syphilis, and syphilis they actually got from Native Americans, speculative.
02:37:54.000 But a lot of diseases they brought over here, and no one had an immunity to them. 0.83
02:37:58.000 These European diseases, they just ran through it. 0.72
02:38:01.000 It killed 90% of the population.
02:38:03.000 But the real genocide in North America is a disease.
02:38:06.000 How come that didn't happen to us?
02:38:08.000 How come we didn't, like, some of whatever their diseases, we didn't get so affected?
02:38:11.000 We did.
02:38:11.000 We did with syphilis, apparently.
02:38:13.000 But this is very speculative, and it's disputed, but I'll just say it.
02:38:17.000 There's more than one version of syphilis, right?
02:38:20.000 So there's, like, one syphilis.
02:38:21.000 And again, I've read different accounts of this. 0.96
02:38:23.000 But there's a syphilis that existed in Europe and then there was a syphilis they believe came from North America that these people that came over on the Mayflower and all that shit, they were fucking some of the Native American people and got their VD and then brought their VD back to Europe. 0.93
02:38:42.000 And they think that this is why this rash of syphilis, this is one theory about why this rash of syphilis went through like European royalty. 0.96
02:38:53.000 To the point where that's where the term big wig comes from. 0.99
02:38:55.000 Really?
02:38:56.000 Yeah, the term big wig is there was these brothers that were French, they were some royalty, and they got syphilis. 0.96
02:39:05.000 And when you get syphilis, your fucking hair falls out, you develop like holes in your skin, your face has holes in it, and to cover up the fact that they lost their hair, they got wigs. 0.97
02:39:14.000 And they were so popular that it's like, you know, when someone wears something stupid, you're like, how does that work? 0.99
02:39:20.000 Everybody's wearing this thing because Kanye wore it, you know? 1.00
02:39:23.000 So everybody's wearing the same shit that Kanye wore. 1.00
02:39:25.000 Well, that's how they were. 1.00
02:39:27.000 They were so influential that when they got wigs, everybody wanted wigs. 0.99
02:39:30.000 And then since everyone's fucking everybody, everyone's getting syphilis. 0.99
02:39:34.000 So they all have like holes in their faces and shit, and they got wigs. 1.00
02:39:37.000 And the more money you had, the bigger the wig. 1.00
02:39:41.000 So if you're a rich dude, you're a big wig. 0.98
02:39:45.000 That is so crazy.
02:39:46.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:39:47.000 Because, like, when you heard that term, when I heard that term as a kid, oh, he's a bigwig.
02:39:51.000 Like, the bigwig is like, oh, he's a banker.
02:39:52.000 He's a bigwig.
02:39:53.000 He's a big, yeah, big shot.
02:39:54.000 That's what it is.
02:39:55.000 Okay, well, the hoops.
02:39:56.000 Sometimes the ball will go through the hoop located at the alley's midpoint.
02:39:59.000 If that happened, the whole group would stop, and the person who put the ball through the hoop would be hailed as a victor.
02:40:04.000 Helmke said, but he didn't say that that was the point of the game.
02:40:08.000 He said that might happen once in a while that it was truly exceptional.
02:40:12.000 Moreover, the vast majority of ball courts in the Maya do not have hoops.
02:40:17.000 Oh, human sacrifice.
02:40:20.000 I think the sacrifice part came over when Europeans came and saw what was happening.
02:40:24.000 They probably did not understand what was going down.
02:40:27.000 Oh, interesting.
02:40:28.000 The sacrifice is probably not really part of it.
02:40:30.000 Interesting.
02:40:31.000 Although it did happen.
02:40:32.000 But they definitely sacrificed a lot of people, right?
02:40:37.000 Oh, I see, I see, I see.
02:40:39.000 Interesting.
02:40:41.000 So what does it say there?
02:40:56.000 Oh, so they would do it for fun.
02:40:58.000 So when you asked this question, I was looking through this article, which comes from a tabloid, I'll add the sun, but it talks about these skull towers they found.
02:41:07.000 They had found upwards of 200, but the experts say that that means that there might have been thousands and thousands and thousands of skulls embedded in these towers, but they were destroyed and covered up when the Europeans came.
02:41:21.000 Oh, so they already had these skulls embedded in these walls?
02:41:25.000 Yeah, and then you asked if they were coming from the game, and I was trying to find out if that's...
02:41:29.000 Oh my god, look at this.
02:41:30.000 One historical report claimed one rat contained more than 130,000 skulls.
02:41:36.000 And that could be, you know, like some guy saw it and he was like, it was so big, there had to be thousands and thousands of them.
02:41:41.000 Maybe there was, but...
02:41:43.000 Bro, imagine being back then. 0.99
02:41:45.000 Imagine going back then before the Europeans conquered them and to see, what the fuck were you guys doing? 0.99
02:41:51.000 How did you... 0.95
02:41:52.000 Go back up to that image of what the outside looked like a little higher up.
02:41:56.000 That one. 0.99
02:41:57.000 Imagine just showing up one day to this place going, what the fuck are you guys taking? 0.99
02:42:04.000 Because this is How did you... 0.99
02:42:06.000 Why?
02:42:07.000 What are you doing?
02:42:09.000 Why did you guys do this?
02:42:10.000 Why didn't you just make huts? 0.69
02:42:12.000 You made these, the steps, they're all skulls inside.
02:42:16.000 Bro, they don't even have horses.
02:42:17.000 They didn't even have horses.
02:42:19.000 They didn't have horses?
02:42:20.000 No.
02:42:21.000 No.
02:42:21.000 They didn't have horses.
02:42:22.000 When the Europeans showed up in horses, they thought they were gods. 1.00
02:42:25.000 Like, look at these guys.
02:42:26.000 They're riding horses. 1.00
02:42:27.000 They're fucking gods. 1.00
02:42:28.000 Yeah, that was part of the problem. 1.00
02:42:30.000 They didn't understand how someone could ride a horse.
02:42:32.000 Like, oh my god, these must be the gods.
02:42:33.000 They must be just like the prophecies.
02:42:35.000 They've come.
02:42:37.000 On these beasts.
02:42:38.000 Riding beasts.
02:42:39.000 Yeah, and showing up in boats. 1.00
02:42:40.000 Like, what the fuck? 0.99
02:42:41.000 You guys have a boat? 1.00
02:42:42.000 And they just showed up with horses.
02:42:44.000 Hopping horses out of the boat.
02:42:45.000 Like, this is crazy.
02:42:48.000 That would be like aliens showing up in spacecraft, because we would be like, what the f- What is this, Jamie?
02:42:52.000 Three quarters of the skulls analyzed belong to men aged 20 to 35, and they were all said to have been in relatively good health before they were sacrificed.
02:43:00.000 Oh my god, so it's all sacrifices.
02:43:03.000 Oh my god!
02:43:04.000 130,000 sacrifices at least in one wall!
02:43:09.000 And good health is crazy.
02:43:10.000 Those people were wild.
02:43:13.000 They were wild, man.
02:43:14.000 Building those structures, no horses, and killing everybody.
02:43:17.000 Just sacrificing people.
02:43:20.000 What were they taking, man?
02:43:22.000 What were they taking?
02:43:23.000 They were on some hardcore drugs.
02:43:25.000 They probably had their own version of meth, just methed out.
02:43:29.000 Spanish conquistadors were appalled at the skull rack when they entered Tenochtitlan in 1519. Two years later, they destroyed the city and paved over its ruins, leaving the Aztec sacrificial remains below the streets of what later became the Mexican capital.
02:43:44.000 Holy fucking shit, man. 1.00
02:43:46.000 What an energy. 1.00
02:43:47.000 That's where Mexico City is, right?
02:43:48.000 To live on top of that.
02:43:49.000 Because Mexico City, like, when they're doing construction, they have to stop all the time.
02:43:55.000 Like, hold on.
02:43:56.000 We found a temple. 1.00
02:43:58.000 They'll find some shit down there. 1.00
02:43:59.000 They find ruins. 1.00
02:44:00.000 They find all kinds of things.
02:44:02.000 For a long time, many historians and anthropologists questioned whether descriptions by Spanish eyewitnesses exaggerated the number of skulls on the skull rack, as well as the number of victims sacrificed by the Aztecs, he told Fox News.
02:44:13.000 This discovery now makes those early accounts much more believable.
02:44:17.000 Oh my god.
02:44:17.000 What's the new discovery?
02:44:19.000 I think just that.
02:44:19.000 Like, this whole article is the discovery that they found this stuff under.
02:44:23.000 Oh.
02:44:23.000 All the skulls.
02:44:23.000 I'm not even sure where they found it.
02:44:25.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00
02:44:25.000 Look at that. 1.00
02:44:26.000 These evil motherfuckers. 1.00
02:44:29.000 Sacrifices. 1.00
02:44:29.000 What were they doing? 1.00
02:44:30.000 What were they doing?
02:44:31.000 Convincing me in good health.
02:44:32.000 They had to be on some kind of meth.
02:44:34.000 Some kind of.
02:44:34.000 I wonder if that's why God sent the Europeans to them.
02:44:39.000 You guys are just out of control.
02:44:42.000 We're going to teach you Spanish. 0.91
02:44:43.000 We're going to get you guys spoons.
02:44:44.000 We're going to get you spoons, teach you Spanish, and bring you horses. 1.00
02:44:49.000 Which is horrible if you think about it at the time.
02:44:51.000 I mean, we think about it as a terrible thing that happened.
02:44:54.000 You know, the Europeans came here, brought disease, killed everybody, enslaved everybody, turned the whole country Spanish-speaking. 1.00
02:45:01.000 Like, Mexico speaks Spanish, bro. 0.78
02:45:05.000 Spain ain't nowhere near Mexico.
02:45:08.000 It ain't even close to Mexico.
02:45:11.000 That's a long journey on a raft. 0.99
02:45:15.000 It took over the whole motherfucker. 1.00
02:45:17.000 Took over the whole motherfucker. 1.00
02:45:19.000 Took over the whole motherfucker. 1.00
02:45:20.000 And the people that were in control of it before then? 1.00
02:45:22.000 Probably worse.
02:45:23.000 Probably worse than them.
02:45:25.000 Sacrificing young, able-bodied men. 0.99
02:45:29.000 Yeah, in relatively good health. 1.00
02:45:30.000 Off with your fucking head. 1.00
02:45:32.000 You've become a part of the column. 1.00
02:45:34.000 Congratulations!
02:45:35.000 And you're like, yes! 0.99
02:45:38.000 Imagine you're a 25-year-old guy, like, I've got fucking aspirations. 0.98
02:45:41.000 One day I'd like to run this thing. 0.99
02:45:42.000 Nope.
02:45:44.000 One day I'd like to run this.
02:45:46.000 You can't run this.
02:45:47.000 You can't be a king.
02:45:49.000 You have no chance, though. 1.00
02:45:50.000 No, you gotta be born into this shit. 1.00
02:45:52.000 The born into it is the worst. 1.00
02:45:54.000 Because you can't escape that.
02:45:55.000 Cast system, right?
02:45:56.000 Oh, it's the worst.
02:45:58.000 The most evil trick that anybody ever played on it.
02:46:00.000 Man!
02:46:01.000 The most evil trick.
02:46:03.000 I seen it firsthand.
02:46:04.000 When we went to Abu Dhabi, I seen it.
02:46:06.000 I seen what it was like.
02:46:08.000 Oh, over here you can't...
02:46:09.000 Ain't no coming out of...
02:46:10.000 Ain't no Joe Rogan.
02:46:11.000 Ain't no coming out of the Boston slums and making it to this.
02:46:14.000 I saw it from the bottom now we're here.
02:46:16.000 Come on.
02:46:17.000 I saw it from the bottom now we're here.
02:46:18.000 Come on, Joe.
02:46:19.000 Let's go, Drake.
02:46:20.000 Yeah, no.
02:46:22.000 No, there's none of that there.
02:46:23.000 There's none of that there.
02:46:24.000 And that's one of the things about England, too.
02:46:26.000 I mean, even in modern England, my friends who've come over from England say, in England, they don't want you to change your status in society.
02:46:34.000 They don't want you to rise up.
02:46:36.000 If you're lower class, you stay lower class. 0.60
02:46:37.000 You're that forever.
02:46:40.000 Yeah.
02:46:40.000 I like America.
02:46:42.000 OnlyFans.
02:46:42.000 It's the best.
02:46:43.000 Come on.
02:46:44.000 It's the best. 0.87
02:46:45.000 You got some big titties you ready? 0.83
02:46:46.000 You want to show them? 1.00
02:46:46.000 You can be a fucking star. 1.00
02:46:48.000 Bro, I ain't getting a job at an insurance company if I got these big titties. 1.00
02:46:52.000 Fuck that. 1.00
02:46:53.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00
02:46:54.000 I feel you, ladies. 1.00
02:46:55.000 Go for it.
02:46:56.000 I don't want my daughter doing it, but...
02:46:58.000 Go for it.
02:46:58.000 Do whatever you want to do.
02:47:00.000 I want you to be free.
02:47:01.000 If you're, you know, everybody has different circumstances.
02:47:03.000 If you're trapped, yeah.
02:47:05.000 What is this?
02:47:06.000 You talked about how the horses came with the Europeans, but I was like, what did they else?
02:47:11.000 Did they not use anything?
02:47:12.000 Did they not have anything?
02:47:13.000 They brought donkeys also.
02:47:15.000 Donkeys weren't here either.
02:47:16.000 Interesting.
02:47:17.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
02:47:19.000 1495. And then mules are the cross of donkeys and horses, which are the best.
02:47:24.000 They didn't exist, probably.
02:47:25.000 Well, they probably existed in Europe.
02:47:28.000 I don't know.
02:47:29.000 Let's find out.
02:47:30.000 When did they first start breeding mules?
02:47:34.000 Mules are non-viable, meaning a mule can't make another mule.
02:47:37.000 You need a donkey and a horse to make a mule.
02:47:40.000 Wow!
02:47:41.000 3000 BC! Yeah, but they're the most durable.
02:47:43.000 They're the sturdiest of animals.
02:47:45.000 Like the guys who go backpack hunting, like deep into the mountains.
02:47:49.000 My friend Clay Newcomb, he came on this podcast, he raises mules.
02:47:53.000 And he talks about, like, flashy mules.
02:47:55.000 Like, good-looking mule.
02:47:56.000 But mules are, like, better than horses because mules won't go over the cliff.
02:48:00.000 Horses are just like, oh, just go over the cliff. 1.00
02:48:02.000 Mules are like, fuck you. 1.00
02:48:04.000 I'm not going this way. 1.00
02:48:05.000 This is dangerous.
02:48:05.000 It's an edge.
02:48:06.000 Yeah.
02:48:07.000 When the mule gets to a place where it doesn't like it, it's like, uh-uh.
02:48:10.000 That's why the term stubborn is a mule.
02:48:12.000 That's where that comes from.
02:48:13.000 Because mules are smart. 0.99
02:48:15.000 That's awesome.
02:48:17.000 They're smart.
02:48:17.000 Yeah.
02:48:17.000 They figured out that that's the animal to run because they require less water, less food.
02:48:23.000 They're more durable.
02:48:24.000 They can last longer without water and food.
02:48:26.000 How many animals are like that in the world that it takes two things to make them but they can't make themselves?
02:48:31.000 There's quite a few hybrids like that. 1.00
02:48:32.000 That's a liger. 0.99
02:48:33.000 Like those lions and tigers and they breed those together and they make that one thing.
02:48:36.000 It's huge.
02:48:37.000 Yeah.
02:48:37.000 Well, the thing about the liger is I think what happens is Whether it's the male lion or the female tiger, one of them is missing the gene that regulates growth.
02:48:50.000 So when you combine koi wolf, yeah.
02:48:52.000 The thing about koi wolves though, grizzly polar bear hybrid, yeah.
02:48:56.000 A walpin?
02:48:57.000 It's a whale and a dolphin?
02:48:59.000 What?
02:48:59.000 Is that real?
02:49:00.000 That must be the smartest animal alive.
02:49:02.000 What?
02:49:02.000 A whale and a dolphin?
02:49:03.000 A walpin is an extremely rare cestation hybrid born from a mating of a female common bottlenose dolphin with a male false killer whale.
02:49:14.000 Wow!
02:49:15.000 The name applies to a hybrid of a whale and a dolphin, although taxonomically, both are within the oceanic dolphin family, which is within the toothed whale privador.
02:49:25.000 There's a lot of fish that are hybrids.
02:49:28.000 There's hybrid bass that are like a hybrid between smallmouth and largemouth.
02:49:32.000 That happens.
02:49:33.000 A jagal lion. 1.00
02:49:35.000 Oh shit. 1.00
02:49:35.000 Jag off. 1.00
02:49:36.000 A beefalo. 1.00
02:49:38.000 A buffalo that fucked a cow. 0.99
02:49:40.000 Interesting. 0.99
02:49:41.000 There's quite a few.
02:49:42.000 Yeah.
02:49:42.000 But most of them can't breed.
02:49:44.000 Neanderthal.
02:49:45.000 Just a neanderthal?
02:49:46.000 That's crazy.
02:49:47.000 Most of them can't breed by themselves.
02:49:50.000 You can't take two mules and they won't make a mule. 1.00
02:49:54.000 They just fuck. 1.00
02:49:55.000 They just get wild. 1.00
02:49:56.000 They're just getting crazy.
02:49:57.000 There's nothing happening. 1.00
02:49:57.000 Just gay sex. 1.00
02:49:58.000 Just bad loads. 1.00
02:50:00.000 Just useless loads.
02:50:02.000 Nothing in there.
02:50:04.000 Yeah.
02:50:05.000 Just dead loads. 0.99
02:50:08.000 Yeah, because nature's like, no, no, no, you can't be fucking around like this. 0.99
02:50:11.000 Nature's like, you try once, and then you're done. 0.98
02:50:14.000 This one's not viable. 0.99
02:50:15.000 It's interesting, like, nature, is it coded that way, or it doesn't like the idea of a dog being able to fuck a horse and make a dog horse? 0.99
02:50:22.000 Like, no, [... 1.00
02:50:24.000 Too crazy.
02:50:25.000 Too crazy.
02:50:25.000 It knows.
02:50:26.000 Yeah.
02:50:26.000 You have to stay within your species, and if you're different things in the species, like a cat, like a lion and a tiger, no babies for you.
02:50:34.000 You can fuck and make one, but that one, not making any new ones. 1.00
02:50:39.000 That's what that is. 1.00
02:50:40.000 Yeah.
02:50:41.000 Somehow or another, nature just built in a system.
02:50:44.000 It's like, no, no, no.
02:50:45.000 It's too crazy.
02:50:46.000 Is it, I guess, like Down syndrome?
02:50:48.000 How they can't have kids?
02:50:49.000 They can, though.
02:50:50.000 We can have it.
02:50:51.000 No, they can.
02:50:52.000 They can have kids, yeah.
02:50:53.000 Not only can they have kids, they can have kids that are normal.
02:50:55.000 Thank you.
02:50:57.000 Yeah, I'm 99% sure of that.
02:51:00.000 Have you ever seen this kind of dog?
02:51:02.000 What is that?
02:51:03.000 I don't know how to say it.
02:51:04.000 Whoa! 0.71
02:51:05.000 3,000 year old boy.
02:51:07.000 X-O-L-O-I-Z-C-U-I-N-T-L-I. Pronounced show-lo-eats-queen-t-ly. 0.64
02:51:18.000 Quintly.
02:51:20.000 Show-lo-eats-queen-t-ly. 0.99
02:51:23.000 Show-lo-eats-queen-t-ly. 0.99
02:51:26.000 You didn't have to call it that.
02:51:27.000 You didn't have to call it that. 1.00
02:51:29.000 I fucked multiple girls with that name. 1.00
02:51:33.000 The ancient Aztec dog of the gods is today a loving companion and vigilant watchdog. 0.99
02:51:39.000 The alert and loyal Exlo comes in three sizes and he's either hairless or of coated varieties. 0.93
02:51:46.000 Wow.
02:51:47.000 That hair is awesome.
02:51:48.000 That's a 3,000 year old dog. 1.00
02:51:50.000 That's the wildest shit that all dogs come from wolves. 0.99
02:51:54.000 So that thing at one point in time was a wolf And the bitch-ass wolves made their way to the campfire and dropped their ears a little bit and kind of relaxed and became friends with the people because the people gave them food. 1.00
02:52:06.000 And then they became dogs. 0.98
02:52:08.000 All dogs.
02:52:09.000 Even little Carl over there.
02:52:11.000 Little tiny Carl.
02:52:12.000 At one point in time, many, many, many, many thousands of years ago, Carl was a wolf.
02:52:16.000 They don't even know exactly how long ago that process started.
02:52:21.000 There's like guesses, but they vary by a couple thousand years.
02:52:24.000 But humans did that.
02:52:25.000 We did that.
02:52:25.000 Yeah, humans did that, 100%.
02:52:26.000 Yeah, we did that.
02:52:28.000 Cats too or no?
02:52:30.000 Cats are like a lot of wild cats.
02:52:32.000 There's a lot of different kinds of cats that bred, but the domestic cat of today is very different than most wild cats.
02:52:38.000 But they did this thing with foxes. 0.98
02:52:42.000 In Russia, where they took wild foxes and the ones that were aggressive, that showed any aggression towards people at all, they killed them.
02:52:48.000 And the ones that didn't show aggressive, they let them breed.
02:52:51.000 And they kept doing this over many, many generations.
02:52:53.000 And within a few decades, the fox had completely changed its form.
02:52:58.000 They had droopy ears.
02:52:59.000 They had big, soft, sweet eyes.
02:53:01.000 They had smaller mouths.
02:53:03.000 It changed the fox.
02:53:04.000 Like, quick.
02:53:05.000 Quick.
02:53:05.000 Like, in the course of this study.
02:53:07.000 So not something that took place over thousands of years, but by killing any one of them that was aggressive, they made only the ones that were, like, sweet and passive survive.
02:53:17.000 That's how you get, like, my dog.
02:53:19.000 That's how you get Marshall.
02:53:19.000 That's how you get Marshall.
02:53:20.000 He just, like, any one of those golden retrievers that was mean, they didn't let him breed.
02:53:25.000 So what you get is this, like, this big, sweet, loving dog who just loves everybody.
02:53:30.000 And that was a wolf.
02:53:31.000 That was a wolf.
02:53:32.000 But over many, many, many generations of selective breeding, they turned it into this crazy thing. 0.97
02:53:38.000 I don't know how the fuck they did it, but it just shows you how bizarre nature is. 0.52
02:53:42.000 That nature can make those adaptations. 0.96
02:53:45.000 I think about humans.
02:53:47.000 I mean, we were just talking about the Aztecs or like Genghis Khan people or Vikings to now.
02:53:51.000 Yeah, to now.
02:53:52.000 Yeah.
02:53:54.000 Clearly just pacifying it, chilling it out.
02:53:56.000 Yeah, and especially these kids on college campuses, they don't even know what gender they are anymore.
02:54:01.000 There's no need.
02:54:02.000 A lot of them are saying there's no need for gender. 1.00
02:54:05.000 It's all bullshit. 0.99
02:54:06.000 That's the direction that things are moving. 1.00
02:54:08.000 Things are moving into a genderless direction. 1.00
02:54:11.000 Whether it's being influenced by who, what, how, or when, that's irrelevant.
02:54:17.000 What I'm saying is it's clearly moving in that direction.
02:54:20.000 And if you didn't have anything to do with the population, if you were something that was completely outside of society looking at us, you'd be like, oh, they're like feminizing.
02:54:28.000 They're feminizing everything. 0.99
02:54:30.000 Also feminizing in terms of even men are behaving like bitches. 1.00
02:54:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:54:38.000 They're behaving like catty wenches. 1.00
02:54:42.000 And it's also rewarded.
02:54:45.000 It's rewarded and it's not disgusting.
02:54:47.000 Whereas it would be disgusting behavior for a man to behave like that in a tribal society that requires those men to be strong and stoic. 1.00
02:54:54.000 You have to be able to sword fight, stupid. 1.00
02:54:56.000 You have to get rid of that man. 1.00
02:54:57.000 That guy's a bitch. 1.00
02:54:58.000 A catty man in a tribe? 1.00
02:55:00.000 What the fuck are we doing? 1.00
02:55:03.000 He's talking to your girl while he was on a raiding party. 1.00
02:55:09.000 You think, how long do you survive as a male feminist in the tribal society? 1.00
02:55:13.000 Oh, because I come home, my wife said that, that you said that, and I kill you, right? 0.99
02:55:16.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:55:17.000 I feel like that's it.
02:55:17.000 You'd be a part of that column.
02:55:19.000 Immediately.
02:55:20.000 Yeah, immediately. 0.98
02:55:20.000 We have to get rid of you. 0.98
02:55:21.000 Yeah, you have to get rid of you. 0.59
02:55:22.000 And everyone else in the tribe would be like, oh, thank God you got rid of that guy.
02:55:24.000 Yeah, that guy was a problem.
02:55:25.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:55:27.000 That guy was a fucking problem, dog. 1.00
02:55:29.000 But if you do that over time, and there's enough safety, we become just like dogs. 1.00
02:55:34.000 We become some sort of a domesticated version of what was once wolves.
02:55:41.000 And I don't know if that's good or bad.
02:55:42.000 We're resisting it in some ways because there's still the problem is these passive people are not overall kind.
02:55:50.000 They're very aggressive with trying to enforce their ideas on everybody else and you must comply.
02:55:56.000 So it's very much like I'm gonna get back at you thing.
02:55:59.000 It's being picked on when you were young thing.
02:56:01.000 An outsider that's finally a part of a gang and you're like you're gonna enforce these ideas on other people.
02:56:06.000 So The ideology is not rooted in compassion, even though it pretends to be.
02:56:11.000 It's rooted in, like all the ideologies, it's rooted in control.
02:56:14.000 And people are just trying to control people and get everyone else to comply with the way they now see the world.
02:56:20.000 And when you're weak and you're doing that, it's not good.
02:56:23.000 Because you're angry at the world.
02:56:26.000 You're angry at the way you were mistreated or you were an outsider.
02:56:29.000 And now you're not.
02:56:30.000 Now you're a part of a group.
02:56:31.000 And so now you're going to do the exact same thing to people that they did to you.
02:56:36.000 You're going to hurt them.
02:56:37.000 Just like you got hurt. 0.95
02:56:38.000 Yeah, bro.
02:56:39.000 It's the worst mentality.
02:56:40.000 It happened to me.
02:56:42.000 Happened to me.
02:56:42.000 That's what you hear people say.
02:56:43.000 It happened to me.
02:56:44.000 That's how it was for me.
02:56:45.000 It's like, well, don't you want it to not be that way?
02:56:47.000 People don't, man.
02:56:49.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:56:49.000 It's just a natural human instinct for fucking whatever bizarre reason, man. 0.99
02:56:54.000 So it's a control thing. 0.98
02:56:56.000 That's the scary thing.
02:56:57.000 You can't let people control.
02:56:58.000 It doesn't mean that you shouldn't let people...
02:57:01.000 Drift off into this genderless direction like you do whatever you want to do I think this is happening whether we like it or not I think it's happening with it. 1.00
02:57:08.000 There's a lot of like chemical influences There's microplastics that are influencing the way testosterone levels are in young people and the development of their sex organs and this This this is gonna be doing something.
02:57:19.000 It's gonna be doing something.
02:57:20.000 There's propaganda that's actually getting through your phone, too That's affecting the way people reward certain types of behavior and people like to gravitate towards behaviors that are rewarding and If you're a loser and then all of a sudden you're amazing because now you're wearing a dress, you're like, I'm going to keep wearing this dress. 0.95
02:57:35.000 Everybody fucking hugs me when they see me. 0.93
02:57:37.000 They think I'm cool. 1.00
02:57:38.000 They used to think I was a loser. 0.97
02:57:39.000 God. 0.95
02:57:40.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:57:40.000 And you hear that, and you're like, damn, I understand that. 0.99
02:57:43.000 I understand it. 0.99
02:57:44.000 I want to be hugged, too.
02:57:45.000 But if I was objective, and I wasn't a part of the human race, which I clearly am, if I was looking at it from outside, I would say, like, what is the end goal of this?
02:57:53.000 Like, where does this go?
02:57:54.000 Well, it's clearly going to some genderless, alien-looking direction. 0.81
02:57:58.000 I think that's what the aliens are.
02:58:00.000 When we see that archetypal alien, the big head, the genderless body, I think that's where we're going. 0.99
02:58:07.000 I think that's just...
02:58:08.000 I think even if aliens aren't real, even if you don't really see them, I think that's an archetype in our head because it's almost like a light on the path that's showing us, this is where you're going.
02:58:20.000 You're going to that.
02:58:21.000 This futuristic, everyone is one being.
02:58:24.000 Vikings, genderless. 0.99
02:58:26.000 Slowly but surely, right?
02:58:28.000 Caveman, Vikings, genderless. 0.94
02:58:31.000 Yeah.
02:58:32.000 But the thing is, they're not nice.
02:58:34.000 You can go that way if you want, but don't try to force it.
02:58:37.000 Don't be mean.
02:58:37.000 Don't force it on people that were born biologically male.
02:58:40.000 There's nothing wrong with that.
02:58:42.000 That's the whole reason why you're not speaking German. 1.00
02:58:44.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
02:58:46.000 This whole idea of toxic masculinity, that's all great until you need someone to help you. 1.00
02:58:51.000 Until you need it.
02:58:51.000 That's all great until you need someone to open up a jar of mayonnaise.
02:58:55.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
02:58:56.000 Listen. 1.00
02:58:57.000 You need all those things.
02:58:59.000 You just need people to be nice.
02:59:00.000 You need people to be nice that are like savages and people that are nice that are pacifists.
02:59:05.000 Everyone should just be nice.
02:59:06.000 And we can live like that. 0.99
02:59:07.000 Just don't fuck with each other. 0.99
02:59:09.000 Yeah, because you never see them, not never, but it is crazy that they make such a big deal about gender stuff sometimes, and it's like, well, you don't look happy, though. 0.99
02:59:15.000 You don't look, or you're not being nice about it, which is what you would want.
02:59:20.000 But it's because they also feel like they're embattled, right?
02:59:23.000 They're in this thing, they're fighting for their cause, and then they exaggerate it like there's a trans genocide, like... 0.71
02:59:30.000 What?
02:59:31.000 Stop.
02:59:32.000 Okay.
02:59:32.000 You're getting away with too much because you're in a university setting and everybody likes saying you're amazing and no one wants a question.
02:59:37.000 No one wants to go, shut the fuck up. 0.99
02:59:39.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:59:39.000 Because that's the other problem with kids today. 0.99
02:59:41.000 It's like they only have one thought process.
02:59:43.000 There's one ideology. 0.99
02:59:45.000 It's not a bunch of right-wing people that are fucking camping and making sure they can carry guns to school because it's a school shooter. 0.99
02:59:51.000 We're going to camp out until we can carry guns into the building. 0.99
02:59:54.000 No, that's not going to happen.
02:59:56.000 So it's like you've got one ideology.
02:59:59.000 And the crazy thing is, like, there's two sides to that ideology.
03:00:02.000 Because the left wing is always Jewish, too. 0.90
03:00:04.000 There's not a lot of, like, really hard...
03:00:07.000 Leslie, thinking about, like, Ben Shapiro and a few other Dennis Prager, right-wing Jewish folks.
03:00:12.000 A lot of Jewish people that we know, they're Democrats.
03:00:15.000 They've always been kind of traditionally.
03:00:17.000 Like, what percentage...
03:00:18.000 Let's find this out.
03:00:20.000 What percentage of Jewish people vote Democrat?
03:00:23.000 If that's even a poll.
03:00:25.000 Has to be.
03:00:26.000 Has to be.
03:00:27.000 And I bet you the...
03:00:28.000 Google knows.
03:00:28.000 Google could tell you.
03:00:30.000 They don't want to tell you they know. 1.00
03:00:31.000 They keep your fucking track. 1.00
03:00:32.000 Yeah, they know. 1.00
03:00:33.000 They know.
03:00:34.000 But I would guarantee you it's a very high number.
03:00:37.000 So now you have a conflict amongst that side.
03:00:41.000 Because you have one side that says that what's happening in Gaza is genocide.
03:00:44.000 And the other side that says Israel has the right to defend itself. 0.80
03:00:47.000 And that this is, you know, what we did in Iraq after 9-11, what we did in da-da-da after that, what we did in Japan.
03:00:55.000 No one's mad at any of them.
03:00:58.000 Yeah.
03:00:58.000 God, I saw it and told me recently.
03:01:01.000 Seven in ten Jewish adults identify with or lean towards the Democratic Party and half describe their political views as liberal.
03:01:09.000 Yeah.
03:01:10.000 So seven in ten.
03:01:11.000 Seventy percent.
03:01:12.000 Seventy percent.
03:01:13.000 And so inside that party...
03:01:16.000 You've got people that are literally on college campuses saying death to the Jews and supporting Hamas.
03:01:23.000 And you're supposed to be left-wing too.
03:01:25.000 So now you're...
03:01:26.000 Look, if I was a country that was trying to destroy America, I would push these ideas.
03:01:32.000 This is an interesting subsect.
03:01:34.000 The Orthodox Jews, which is one in ten of Jewish adults, is 60 to 75 percent conservative or Republican.
03:01:42.000 That makes sense, right?
03:01:43.000 Because they're strictly religious, which would make you much more conservative.
03:01:47.000 75% identify as Republicans or lean towards the GOP, and 81% approved for Trump's job performance at the time of the survey.
03:01:54.000 Everybody's making money!
03:01:55.000 We're making money!
03:01:56.000 Trump!
03:01:57.000 He's doing it!
03:02:00.000 Derek, let's wrap this up. 1.00
03:02:01.000 You're the fucking man. 0.99
03:02:02.000 It's been a pleasure getting to know you and becoming friends with you at the store. 0.99
03:02:05.000 And I just want to thank you for being one of the early adopters coming out here early on.
03:02:10.000 And it's been beautiful, man. 0.98
03:02:11.000 We're having a good fucking time. 0.99
03:02:13.000 Joe, thank you for changing my life, brother. 0.99
03:02:15.000 I appreciate you.
03:02:16.000 Love you, though.
03:02:16.000 I love you, too.
03:02:17.000 All right.
03:02:18.000 Goodbye, everybody.