The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2159 - Sal Vulcano

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:13.000 What's up, Sal?

00:00:14.000 What's up, brother?

00:00:14.000 How you doing?

00:00:14.000 Good to see you, man.

00:00:15.000 What's cracking?

00:00:16.000 Thanks for having me, man.

00:00:17.000 My pleasure.

00:00:18.000 What are you doing out here, man?

00:00:19.000 What are you doing in Austin, Texas?

00:00:21.000 My special comes out today, actually. 0.99

00:00:23.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:00:24.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:00:24.000 Special goes, Terrified. 1.00

00:00:26.000 What's it on?

00:00:27.000 YouTube.

00:00:28.000 That's the move.

00:00:28.000 Yeah.

00:00:29.000 Yeah, I'm very happy when guys do that.

00:00:31.000 It makes it easily accessible.

00:00:32.000 It's the best thing for distributing your stuff.

00:00:36.000 People share it easy.

00:00:38.000 It's nice that that's a good option now, because when everybody turns you down, It's a great option.

00:00:44.000 It's still like, well, I still got a good option.

00:00:46.000 I would think about it even if it, you know, even if I had other options, just because I think it's like the best distribution platform, as long as they don't fucking censor you, which is a little bit of an issue. 0.79

00:00:56.000 You know, they're owned by Google, and it's just like, whenever you're dealing with these giant corporations, and there's all these fucking woke kids working for them, it's a lot of sketchy things happen.

00:01:05.000 But as far as a platform, it's the best. 0.87

00:01:07.000 It's great, right?

00:01:08.000 Oh, it's so good.

00:01:09.000 I don't really like, I'm not like edgy like that, so I don't really have any of that.

00:01:13.000 My edgiest stuff is not that edgy.

00:01:14.000 That's good.

00:01:15.000 Yeah.

00:01:15.000 Yeah, that's lucky.

00:01:17.000 Yeah, because like Ari Shafir, when he was putting his out, I was like, sure.

00:01:21.000 He executive produced it.

00:01:22.000 Oh, he executive produced yours?

00:01:24.000 Yeah.

00:01:24.000 Oh, that's nice.

00:01:24.000 We're really tight, yeah.

00:01:26.000 Yeah, someone, we were just talking about, someone gave him shit for releasing his on YouTube. 0.99

00:01:29.000 I'm like, you're so short-sighted. 1.00

00:01:31.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

00:01:32.000 I'll look at it now. 1.00

00:01:33.000 Yeah, it's fucking huge. 0.95

00:01:34.000 What does it have, like 7 million downloads or something like that? 0.98

00:01:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:01:37.000 Yeah, people are stupid, man. 1.00

00:01:39.000 They just have this silly idea of, like, these gatekeepers, these fucking institutions, which, you know, look, you got a Netflix special, it's great. 1.00

00:01:46.000 Like, the Tom Brody roasts, great. 1.00

00:01:48.000 I'm happy Netflix is doing cool shit like that. 0.99

00:01:51.000 It's awesome, but... 0.97

00:01:52.000 Did you watch it throughout three hours?

00:01:53.000 No.

00:01:53.000 I watched Tony Hinchcliffe's set and Andrew Schultz's set and that's it.

00:01:56.000 You've seen Nikki's?

00:01:57.000 I heard Nikki's was awesome.

00:01:58.000 I haven't seen it yet.

00:01:59.000 I heard Nikki killed it. 0.53

00:02:00.000 Yeah, she killed it. 0.94

00:02:01.000 She goes hard. 1.00

00:02:02.000 She kills those roasts, man. 1.00

00:02:06.000 She kills those roasts. 1.00

00:02:07.000 She's really good at roasts. 0.96

00:02:08.000 She's strong.

00:02:10.000 She's got strong delivery. 0.98

00:02:13.000 And even when she was shitting on Jeff Ross, I did see that part. 0.99

00:02:17.000 When she was apologizing to him while she was shitting on him. 0.99

00:02:21.000 Which is so Nikki Glaser. 0.99

00:02:23.000 She's so sweet.

00:02:24.000 That Hingscliff one with the Liver King.

00:02:29.000 You look like the... 1.00

00:02:30.000 I'm going to fuck it up. 0.99

00:02:31.000 But the Liver King and the Tiger King had a baby that looked like... 0.99

00:02:38.000 Martin Luther King.

00:02:40.000 He got beat up by Rodney King. 0.99

00:02:41.000 Rodney King and bit by the Lion King or some shit like that. 0.97

00:02:43.000 I don't even know. 0.94

00:02:44.000 It was a ride.

00:02:46.000 It was such a ride.

00:02:48.000 By the time he finished it, it was just like, if it was one king shorter, I didn't think it would hit as well.

00:02:53.000 But that extra king was the perfect- It was a monster bit.

00:02:55.000 It was five kings, I think.

00:02:56.000 It was a monster bit.

00:02:57.000 And then the other one where Jeff was so Jewish, he only watches football for the coin toss. 0.97

00:03:04.000 That's great. 0.99

00:03:05.000 I fucking love a roast. 0.99

00:03:07.000 I love a good roast joke. 1.00

00:03:08.000 You know what's so funny?

00:03:10.000 It's like, you know where you're going with Jeff or Jewish or whatever, but it's like, you still find a new way to be like, you watch this with a coin toss, you know what I mean? 0.92

00:03:20.000 You can tell that joke a million ways.

00:03:22.000 Right, yeah.

00:03:22.000 But I'm still like, oh my god, that's such a good way to tell it.

00:03:25.000 Yeah.

00:03:26.000 It's just...

00:03:27.000 I think people have relaxed more with comedy over the last year or so, for whatever reason.

00:03:33.000 It feels like it dipped a little bit, that whole...

00:03:35.000 Yeah, I feel like people are tired of it all. 0.99

00:03:37.000 They realize that it's all just fucking sanctimonious horseshit. 0.99

00:03:40.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99

00:03:40.000 Want any coffee? 0.99

00:03:41.000 Get some coffee if you want some of this.

00:03:42.000 Maybe you have to just throw a coat.

00:03:44.000 Oh, throw a coat.

00:03:45.000 Are we doing a lot of shows?

00:03:47.000 Is that what it is?

00:03:48.000 Actually, I have, yeah.

00:03:49.000 We got the COVID. No, my baby got me sick.

00:03:55.000 That'll do it.

00:03:56.000 Those little kids get sick a lot.

00:03:58.000 I was fighting for a while, and then a few days ago, it just took a dive.

00:04:01.000 Do you take vitamins?

00:04:02.000 Every single day, and I get mocked for it.

00:04:04.000 You should not get mocked.

00:04:06.000 My dad, growing up, he used to take...

00:04:08.000 We had one cabinet in the kitchen, one, and we opened it, and it was basically a mini GNC. Not like GNC, but it was just an everyday...

00:04:16.000 My whole life, I'd watch him throw down 30 pills and just swig it.

00:04:21.000 But me, I feel like I have a weak immune system.

00:04:25.000 I've got a weak constitution.

00:04:27.000 So I try to take the liposome.

00:04:30.000 It's all like, I take a D, a B, a C. I was taking a multi, and then you start hearing, oh, it doesn't absorb, and you've got to take this one and that one.

00:04:39.000 So I take all immunity stuff.

00:04:41.000 Echinacea, elderberry. 0.98

00:04:43.000 What the fuck else do I take? 1.00

00:04:44.000 What do you think causes your weak immune system? 1.00

00:04:46.000 Have you ever thought about it?

00:04:48.000 Yeah, I think about it my whole entire life.

00:04:50.000 What do you think it is?

00:04:52.000 Do you think it's just a genetic thing?

00:04:54.000 I don't know, because no one else in my family is like that.

00:04:57.000 So that's what led me to becoming a little bit of a germaphobe.

00:05:00.000 Because, you want to call it germaphobe, but I just know that if I put myself in the way of, like if someone sneezes, if I put myself in that, sometimes I can get a common cold.

00:05:10.000 How long does it take you to get rid of the common cold?

00:05:12.000 Like a day.

00:05:14.000 Yeah, but you're like, you eat elk and...

00:05:17.000 Yeah, just, you know, I've had a few that last a couple of days, but it's usually one day before I don't feel good.

00:05:23.000 But I've only had a couple of those recently, and I assume they were the new COVID. Oh, really?

00:05:29.000 Yeah, I assume...

00:05:30.000 And you got it written in a day.

00:05:31.000 Yeah, I assume this last one I got was the new COVID. This last one I got, I didn't even do the IV vitamins.

00:05:38.000 I was just too busy to sit down and just...

00:05:40.000 What are they calling it?

00:05:42.000 New Coke?

00:05:42.000 Like New Coke?

00:05:43.000 There's so many strains, dude.

00:05:45.000 Yeah.

00:05:45.000 I think we did a thing where they were trying to...

00:05:49.000 We were reading about it online where they were trying to document all the strains.

00:05:53.000 How many were they up to, Jamie?

00:05:56.000 It's a crazy number.

00:05:57.000 There's a lot of streams.

00:05:58.000 I thought there was like four streams.

00:05:59.000 No, no, no, no.

00:06:01.000 There's dozens.

00:06:02.000 They keep coming around.

00:06:04.000 New ones come around.

00:06:04.000 New variants come around.

00:06:06.000 What they're saying is this is just how we're going to be forever.

00:06:10.000 That stuff's just out there in the wild now.

00:06:12.000 Those little gremlins. 1.00

00:06:14.000 So, that doesn't bode well for me.

00:06:16.000 Common cold, one to two weeks, min.

00:06:19.000 Really?

00:06:20.000 Yeah, I've had a cold like five, six weeks many times.

00:06:24.000 Wow.

00:06:24.000 Lingering, not like, you know, full on.

00:06:26.000 Do you ever do IV vitamins?

00:06:28.000 I've only done it twice in my life.

00:06:30.000 It's so funny.

00:06:31.000 I shot the special in December in Chicago.

00:06:34.000 And the day of, I woke up and I had a cold.

00:06:37.000 Just because I was just running myself into the ground, right?

00:06:40.000 So I woke up, my throat was like, it was hurting me.

00:06:43.000 It was like scratchy.

00:06:44.000 My voice was raspy and I had like no energy. 0.55

00:06:46.000 I'm like freaking the fuck out, right?

00:06:48.000 I get to the theater, and I'm telling them, like, I don't know what to do.

00:06:51.000 Like, I feel so weak.

00:06:52.000 I got to do something.

00:06:53.000 So, Ari's feeding me these all day long. 0.90

00:06:56.000 He's feeding me these Barocca tablets.

00:06:59.000 They're like these vitamin-dissolving tablets.

00:07:01.000 Right, he's into those.

00:07:03.000 Yeah, they're like a billion percent, whatever, right?

00:07:05.000 So, he's feeding me those, and then I get to the place, and they get me the IV, and the guy gives me a B12 shot.

00:07:14.000 And then I had just started Vyvanse.

00:07:18.000 What's that?

00:07:19.000 It's for ADHD. So it's like an Adderall almost.

00:07:23.000 Oh no.

00:07:23.000 And I had just started it a few days earlier.

00:07:25.000 So I'm like not really, it hasn't really like, I'm not really regulated to it yet.

00:07:30.000 And I just didn't realize that his, the tablets Ari would give me, I looked back afterwards and they were like, they all had caffeine.

00:07:37.000 And then I got this B12 shot 20 minutes before the first show.

00:07:40.000 And I was on the Vyvanse, which is Adderall, and it was the highest dose.

00:07:45.000 I didn't realize that this was all happening to me.

00:07:48.000 And like three minutes before I went out, I was the most wired I ever was in my entire life.

00:07:53.000 I was like literally...

00:07:56.000 And then I had the adrenaline just because it was my first taping.

00:07:59.000 You know what I mean?

00:08:00.000 Oh my god, dude.

00:08:01.000 I was holding my hand and it was doing this. 0.99

00:08:05.000 And I was like, Ari, you gave me three of these fucking things today. 0.99

00:08:08.000 Every one of them has 200 milligrams of caffeine. 0.99

00:08:10.000 Oh my god!

00:08:10.000 He's like, I didn't give you three.

00:08:11.000 I'm like, you gave me three.

00:08:14.000 You didn't give me...

00:08:15.000 How do you look me in the face?

00:08:17.000 We were both there.

00:08:19.000 It's not like I'm hearing this second hand.

00:08:21.000 And then I think the B12 shot just put it over the top.

00:08:24.000 Oh my god.

00:08:25.000 And it was like...

00:08:26.000 What a combination.

00:08:27.000 Time was bad.

00:08:28.000 I didn't use one second from show one.

00:08:31.000 Oh my god.

00:08:32.000 Not one second.

00:08:34.000 The...

00:08:35.000 Is it like an Adderall or is it like a cousin?

00:08:38.000 It's Adderall.

00:08:39.000 It's basically Adderall.

00:08:39.000 Yeah, it's like same exact thing.

00:08:41.000 And why did you think you needed that?

00:08:43.000 Why do you think you needed that at all?

00:08:45.000 I mean, I suffer from ADHD and a little OCD for my whole life.

00:08:49.000 So what does that mean?

00:08:51.000 When you say ADHD, how does it manifest itself in your life?

00:08:55.000 So many ways.

00:08:57.000 Mainly the thing that affects my life is I can't focus.

00:09:00.000 I can't focus on something for...

00:09:04.000 Especially if I'm up and down days, but I can't focus on something for more than...

00:09:11.000 If I'm trying to complete something, I will complete it.

00:09:13.000 Like, what kind of stuff?

00:09:14.000 Like, if I'm writing, or if I have just stuff to do, anything at all, paying bills, anything where I have to use my mind.

00:09:20.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:09:21.000 I'll plant my ass down, and I'll be trying to, like, write or send an email or whatever, and my leg is shaking like crazy because I don't want to sit there. 0.74

00:09:28.000 I just, like... 0.94

00:09:29.000 And I just...

00:09:31.000 It's helped because I can multitask like 500 things at once, but it also hurts because it's really hard to get something done.

00:09:38.000 I can't remember anything, so I have like 50 lists in my phone.

00:09:42.000 They're all labeled and prioritized.

00:09:44.000 That helps me, but I have to use that, otherwise I won't remember anything.

00:09:49.000 Right.

00:09:50.000 I have trouble reading.

00:09:53.000 Like I'll read a page and then I will be like, I have no idea it was on that page.

00:09:57.000 I have to read the page again.

00:09:58.000 So I end up reading really slow.

00:10:00.000 Is it with everything you read or is it only some stuff?

00:10:03.000 Is there anything that you read where that's not a problem?

00:10:06.000 Books are tough, like long form reading.

00:10:08.000 Like fiction or nonfiction?

00:10:11.000 Just like just a lot of pages in between two covers.

00:10:14.000 The genre doesn't play into the factor.

00:10:16.000 So not even like a really, like there's not one book that just captivated you and you like easily could read it?

00:10:22.000 Yeah, I mean, that's, I mean, when I'm really, I mean, like I said, there's good and bad days, so like, you know, if I'm reading like a biography or I'm really into it, I don't really read fiction.

00:10:30.000 Oh, okay.

00:10:31.000 Yeah, but I like biographies, really.

00:10:33.000 Oh, okay.

00:10:34.000 If something like that...

00:10:35.000 But honestly, it's really tough.

00:10:38.000 I really don't read as much as...

00:10:40.000 Do you have any books I've bought?

00:10:42.000 I have a lot of books, but so many aren't open.

00:10:45.000 One day I'm going to read that.

00:10:46.000 Dude, I have this guilt that I think about that I know I'm not going to do it.

00:10:51.000 I owe it to myself to read all these books, and I just keep picturing myself on my deathbed.

00:10:59.000 I just wanted to read that book.

00:11:01.000 It's wasted money.

00:11:02.000 It is.

00:11:03.000 But it's also nice to have books in your house.

00:11:06.000 It is.

00:11:07.000 I have this weird theory about books that I haven't read that are cool.

00:11:10.000 It's like at least they're near me.

00:11:11.000 At least I'm getting the energy off of that book.

00:11:14.000 That really good book.

00:11:15.000 Whoever wrote it, whatever it is.

00:11:17.000 Yeah, I can see that.

00:11:17.000 If I know that book's awesome, it's sitting right there.

00:11:19.000 Yeah.

00:11:20.000 I can't even listen to audiobooks.

00:11:22.000 Do you think audiobooks would be the solve?

00:11:24.000 It doesn't help you.

00:11:24.000 No, I can't listen to someone.

00:11:26.000 Unless it's really, really good about it.

00:11:28.000 It's hard to listen to someone drone on.

00:11:31.000 It's hard, but a lot of them are really good at it.

00:11:33.000 There's some really good voiceover actor guys.

00:11:37.000 Yeah.

00:11:38.000 Including they do fiction, so they do a bunch of different voices.

00:11:41.000 It's a real art form now.

00:11:43.000 It's almost like old-timey radio stories or something.

00:11:46.000 Yeah, that I love.

00:11:47.000 I love it.

00:11:48.000 My buddy I do a show with, he has a bunch of books out, published.

00:11:54.000 And one of the things we...

00:11:56.000 When does this come out?

00:11:57.000 He's gonna...

00:11:57.000 Oh, I don't know if I'm supposed to say.

00:11:58.000 So we keep a lot of secrets from each other.

00:12:01.000 Right.

00:12:01.000 And then surprise each other on the show.

00:12:03.000 The show, if you don't know, people don't know, it's just called Impractical Jokers.

00:12:06.000 Me and my buddies of 35 years. 0.99

00:12:07.000 Fucking huge show, dude. 0.99

00:12:09.000 It's gigantic. 1.00

00:12:10.000 It's crazy.

00:12:10.000 Congratulations.

00:12:11.000 Thank you so much.

00:12:12.000 Thank you, man.

00:12:12.000 I remember when guys were talking about it in the parking lot of the store when it was just blowing up and people were talking about your shows that you were doing.

00:12:20.000 You guys were doing shows and they were just mobbed and everybody's like, that show is huge.

00:12:25.000 Yeah, it was wild.

00:12:26.000 Not expected or anything.

00:12:27.000 It was on true TV, you know.

00:12:29.000 Yeah, which is like not a network where people really blow up from, right?

00:12:33.000 There's a few though, but it just shows you if something's fun, people find it.

00:12:37.000 Yeah, well, there was nothing like it.

00:12:38.000 They only did, they had, no joke, they had two different porn shows.

00:12:44.000 This is when we got on.

00:12:45.000 They had two different porn shows, three different towing shows, and two storage shows. 1.00

00:12:53.000 And then they showed the stupidest criminals of all time. 1.00

00:12:58.000 And that was it. 1.00

00:12:59.000 So we were the first comedy.

00:13:00.000 So I guess it kind of resonated on the channel because we were alone in that manner.

00:13:05.000 I heard a lot of those storage shows are for Gaze.

00:13:08.000 So much of all the reality stuff is...

00:13:10.000 Oh, a lot of it is, yeah.

00:13:12.000 I mean, I'd say 95%.

00:13:13.000 There's a lot of finagling going on behind the scenes with the truth, just for narratives and stuff.

00:13:19.000 If you pause the credits, there's always that fine print in the credits.

00:13:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:23.000 They're allowed to, like, they use it to create a theatrical piece that's not necessarily representative of what actually happened.

00:13:31.000 I mean, bro, they've been looking for Bigfoot for nine seasons now.

00:13:34.000 Well, no, it's more than that, right?

00:13:36.000 How many seasons of Finding Bigfoot?

00:13:39.000 Versions of the show that are, like, refinding him or researching Bigfoot.

00:13:43.000 Refinding him.

00:13:44.000 Refinding him.

00:13:45.000 Looking again.

00:13:45.000 So many...

00:13:46.000 So many fucking dorks in the woods. 1.00

00:13:49.000 Looking for nothing. 1.00

00:13:50.000 Even ghosts.

00:13:52.000 I'm more interested in ghosts than I am Bigfoot.

00:13:57.000 Me too.

00:13:58.000 The thing about Bigfoot is I think it was probably a real animal and I think there's some ancient stories that are passed down for thousands of years.

00:14:06.000 I think that's probably what it was.

00:14:08.000 But ghosts are weird because they're in every culture.

00:14:12.000 Right. 0.99

00:14:13.000 And I haven't experienced a ghost but I imagine if I did Trying to explain it to someone and not sounding like a fucking maniac, like just a crazy person. 0.97

00:14:22.000 Oh, I saw a ghost. 0.97

00:14:23.000 Let me try.

00:14:23.000 Okay, you seen one?

00:14:24.000 Didn't see one, but here's the thing.

00:14:26.000 I don't believe in ghosts.

00:14:27.000 Oh, okay.

00:14:28.000 But then I had this happen to me, and now I don't really know what to feel.

00:14:32.000 Cue the spooky music.

00:14:34.000 Any spooky music over there, Jamie?

00:14:36.000 My family believes in ghosts.

00:14:38.000 They're all for it.

00:14:39.000 My sister had a thing. 1.00

00:14:41.000 She lived at home and she came home one day and she opened a door to her room and every single one of her closet drawers were open.

00:14:50.000 Every single thing that could be opened in the room was open.

00:14:52.000 And it freaked her out a little bit.

00:14:54.000 And she asked if anyone did it.

00:14:55.000 And it was just my stepmom, my dad.

00:14:57.000 They said no.

00:14:58.000 And she was like, felt uncomfortable about that.

00:15:01.000 And then she closed everything.

00:15:03.000 And then like, whatever.

00:15:04.000 She used to lock it after that. 0.74

00:15:05.000 And then she locked it.

00:15:07.000 And one day, like months later, she had locked it.

00:15:08.000 She came and she opened it.

00:15:09.000 They were all open again.

00:15:11.000 I tell her, I don't even believe.

00:15:14.000 She's not lying to me, but I don't know what to make of it, but I don't think it's a ghost.

00:15:19.000 But my grandfather...

00:15:20.000 That's not that spooky.

00:15:21.000 That's like the Hulk.

00:15:23.000 I was about to get a massage.

00:15:26.000 Yeah, that was like, I was waiting for the candles to be lit.

00:15:29.000 But my grandfather died in the house, but like...

00:15:34.000 But that's not what I was saying.

00:15:35.000 One night I was home.

00:15:38.000 There we go.

00:15:39.000 It was foggy out.

00:15:44.000 So I used to live alone.

00:15:46.000 And I'm in bed.

00:15:48.000 And I'm laying in bed.

00:15:50.000 My television is on.

00:15:52.000 And I do lock...

00:15:55.000 Even when I live alone, I lock my bedroom door when I go to sleep.

00:15:57.000 I lock my bathroom door when I'm taking a shower.

00:15:59.000 I always have.

00:16:01.000 So my door's locked, and I'm laying there, and I'm watching TV, and I sleep with a CPAP. So what's good about that is I can go all the way under the covers like a cocoon, and I still have a form of to breathe.

00:16:16.000 So I like wrap myself like a fucking burrito for real. 0.99

00:16:20.000 It's so delightful. 1.00

00:16:22.000 You're breathing, you're scuba diving!

00:16:24.000 There's just a hose coming out of it.

00:16:25.000 Bro, you're scuba diving in your sleep.

00:16:27.000 That's so crazy.

00:16:29.000 So I love it.

00:16:32.000 So I wrap myself over my head and everything.

00:16:34.000 And what I really do, like what's really fun when you're in there is to like just poke out a foot or a hand and just get like a cool breeze.

00:16:43.000 And then wonder about what's under the bed that's gonna bite your feet.

00:16:46.000 Sure, a little bit.

00:16:46.000 It depends on the night, right?

00:16:49.000 That foot's out there dangling.

00:16:51.000 It does feel very cold.

00:16:51.000 I don't like haunts, I will tell you that.

00:16:53.000 I don't believe in ghosts, but haunted houses and scares, we can get into that later.

00:16:56.000 Wait a minute.

00:16:56.000 What's the difference?

00:16:57.000 What are they haunted by?

00:16:59.000 Well, like fake ones, even, I'm saying.

00:17:01.000 I don't even like the go-through.

00:17:04.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:17:04.000 No, I don't like that shit. 1.00

00:17:07.000 That's funny, because a guy likes to play jokes on people, you would think. 1.00

00:17:11.000 Yeah, I mean, well, do I really play jokes?

00:17:13.000 I don't know what I do, really.

00:17:14.000 Pranks.

00:17:15.000 Yeah, it's like the four of us.

00:17:17.000 It's fun. 0.99

00:17:18.000 Yeah, it's crazy shit we did. 0.99

00:17:21.000 You don't like a good haunted house? 1.00

00:17:22.000 They jump out of nowhere and scare the fuck out of you? 0.95

00:17:24.000 I'll tell you how much I don't like that. 0.98

00:17:28.000 We went...

00:17:29.000 On the show, they know I don't like it, so they created...

00:17:31.000 One time they put me in a cornfield, and they made it haunted, and I had to navigate it, and then the next time they upped it, and they got an old mansion, and they completely built it all out and made it haunted, and just put me in there, locked the door, and made me alone in the mansion.

00:17:48.000 And it's... 0.98

00:17:49.000 Did you want to really see, like, a collection of shit that'll freak you out? 0.99

00:17:53.000 Go to Zach Bagan's thing in Vegas. 0.99

00:17:55.000 Yeah.

00:17:56.000 Oh, is that that, like, thing where they get really weird with you?

00:17:59.000 He's got this...

00:17:59.000 Like, it's a visceral thing, like they put a gun in your throat and stuff like that?

00:18:02.000 No, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:18:03.000 He's got this crazy mansion in Vegas that's like a museum of haunted shit. 0.99

00:18:10.000 A museum of, like, they have, um... 1.00

00:18:14.000 Dr. Kevorkian, the van where he killed people.

00:18:17.000 They have the van.

00:18:18.000 Yeah, they have a bunch of stuff that Ted Bundy owned and a bunch of stuff that Ed Gain owned. 0.99

00:18:25.000 Yeah, it's a creepy fucking play. 0.98

00:18:28.000 This is the one... 0.99

00:18:29.000 I had the thing on my...

00:18:30.000 This is the... 1.00

00:18:32.000 You stupidest! 1.00

00:18:35.000 Oh, you're gross! 1.00

00:18:36.000 What? 0.96

00:18:43.000 Yeah, I mean...

00:18:44.000 See, now, you know what?

00:18:47.000 I had to threaten that girl. 0.97

00:18:48.000 Because I know...

00:18:49.000 Look, here's the deal.

00:18:50.000 She's not a ghost.

00:18:51.000 I know she's not even like that.

00:18:53.000 I'm not crazy.

00:18:54.000 I just don't like the jump scares.

00:18:57.000 I don't like it.

00:18:58.000 Like in the cornfield, they've had a little girl, right?

00:19:00.000 And I was 20 minutes into this cornfield.

00:19:03.000 We have this little labor laws here. 1.00

00:19:04.000 This girl's just standing there waiting for me. 1.00

00:19:05.000 She's in like a dress.

00:19:07.000 She's a little girl with pigtails.

00:19:09.000 And I see her in the distance, and I go, is that a little girl?

00:19:12.000 And then she just raised her hand and pointed at me. 1.00

00:19:15.000 And I had to follow this path that they laid out, and it had to go past the girl. 0.63

00:19:19.000 Right.

00:19:21.000 I don't know how to explain it, man.

00:19:22.000 I know that they did this to me, right? 1.00

00:19:25.000 But yeah, I was like, I know you're a little girl, but I will fucking punch you, I told them. 0.99

00:19:30.000 When I went past, I'm like, I know you're a girl. 1.00

00:19:32.000 I was like, look, I know I can beat you up. 0.99

00:19:35.000 Don't jump scare me because I'm liable to punch you. 0.98

00:19:37.000 I'm letting you know right now.

00:19:38.000 Tell us the little girl.

00:19:41.000 Wait, so I'll double back on this one. 0.99

00:19:45.000 Corn is fucking scary to get lost in. 0.99

00:19:47.000 Corn maze? 1.00

00:19:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:48.000 It's terrible.

00:19:49.000 It's really weird.

00:19:50.000 There's a place in California where they have a farm.

00:19:53.000 And they have a corn maze.

00:19:55.000 You can walk around this maze.

00:19:56.000 It's fun.

00:19:56.000 Because you know you can eventually get out.

00:19:58.000 Go in at night alone.

00:19:59.000 But you get lost in this maze.

00:20:01.000 You get really lost.

00:20:02.000 And it's kind of confusing.

00:20:04.000 And now imagine this is thousands of acres.

00:20:06.000 Right.

00:20:06.000 And you're in the center of it with no water.

00:20:08.000 And you have no idea.

00:20:09.000 You might be walking around in circles.

00:20:11.000 You really have no idea.

00:20:12.000 You may as well be on, like, the mountains when people die.

00:20:15.000 Yeah, people die in cornfields, man.

00:20:17.000 That's a real thing.

00:20:18.000 I mean, I feel like, yeah, it depends how dense it is.

00:20:20.000 I mean, if I was ever in that situation, I'd just go straight.

00:20:23.000 And not stop?

00:20:24.000 I wonder how many people over in history have died in cornfields.

00:20:31.000 Just heat exhaustion, get lost.

00:20:34.000 11. Yeah.

00:20:35.000 That's what you think?

00:20:35.000 We had looked it up.

00:20:36.000 For real?

00:20:37.000 No.

00:20:37.000 Let's guess.

00:20:38.000 Let's take a guess. 0.99

00:20:39.000 I want to guess, but then it's going to suck. 0.81

00:20:41.000 I think 11's a solid number. 0.89

00:20:43.000 I think 11's a good guess.

00:20:44.000 Like 11 people over the course of America have died in cornfields.

00:20:48.000 No, back in the day?

00:20:49.000 A lot.

00:20:50.000 Think about that.

00:20:51.000 But they didn't have monocrop agriculture back then. 0.66

00:20:54.000 I don't even know what that is.

00:20:55.000 That's like these giant cornfields.

00:20:57.000 Okay.

00:20:57.000 Where like in this country right now, look this up because I think it's true.

00:21:01.000 I think 5% of the land mass of the United States is being used for cornfields.

00:21:11.000 That's still, that's crazy. 1.00

00:21:13.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.99

00:21:14.000 That's wild. 1.00

00:21:14.000 That's so crazy. 1.00

00:21:15.000 I think that's correct.

00:21:19.000 The guy on my show that I- By the way, I just read the headline of that.

00:21:23.000 I'll be real clear.

00:21:24.000 Yeah.

00:21:24.000 I didn't even read the whole article.

00:21:26.000 I just read the headline.

00:21:27.000 Oh, okay, okay.

00:21:27.000 Well, this guy- So this might not be He put a cornfield in his yard.

00:21:31.000 He has five acres.

00:21:31.000 He built a cornfield registered as a farm so he could get tax breaks.

00:21:34.000 He has to sell $50,000 worth of corn in order to get it.

00:21:38.000 He's trying to do that right now.

00:21:39.000 How much corn is $50,000 worth of corn?

00:21:41.000 No clue.

00:21:41.000 It feels like a lot to me.

00:21:43.000 Isn't it funny if the government subsidizes corn? 0.99

00:21:46.000 It's wild.

00:21:47.000 Well, you know where it all came from?

00:21:48.000 It came from World War II. So during the war, people need food, and they wanted to make sure that in the future they would have stockpiles of food.

00:21:58.000 You know, like, the war just ended, but who knows what's going to happen now with Russia. 0.66

00:22:02.000 We could be into it again.

00:22:03.000 Let's prepare.

00:22:04.000 And they started subsidizing corn production.

00:22:07.000 Then they just started using corn for all kinds of extra stuff that you're not supposed to use it for, like oil.

00:22:13.000 Yeah.

00:22:13.000 You know, or, you know, corn syrup.

00:22:16.000 That stuff's fucking... 0.95

00:22:18.000 I can't find the percentage, which I'm trying to get to, but I've got 97 million acres, which is about the same size as California. 0.99

00:22:25.000 Yeah.

00:22:27.000 Wow!

00:22:28.000 Oh, there's no shortage of that, then.

00:22:31.000 There's so much corn!

00:22:32.000 Okay, so like, what percentage of that is?

00:22:34.000 California's gotta be more than 5% of the country, right?

00:22:37.000 Nah, it's tough.

00:22:38.000 You think so?

00:22:39.000 Because, I mean, they're not counting Alaska.

00:22:40.000 Right, Alaska's so big.

00:22:42.000 Alaska's, like, makes it doubles there.

00:22:44.000 Alaska's, like, way bigger than Texas, and Texas is enormous.

00:22:47.000 I think Alaska's, like, three Texases. 0.95

00:22:50.000 Really?

00:22:50.000 I think so.

00:22:51.000 What percentage of that corn do you think we're consuming, and what's going to waste?

00:22:54.000 I don't know if it's a waste thing.

00:22:56.000 It just goes...

00:22:57.000 Because you can use it for so many different things.

00:23:00.000 You can use it to make alcohol.

00:23:02.000 You can use it to make corn syrup.

00:23:04.000 You can use it to make oil.

00:23:06.000 You know, I think they're just...

00:23:08.000 It's like a money racket.

00:23:09.000 It's like they've cornered this market.

00:23:11.000 And people were better off when they were using actual sugar. 0.99

00:23:15.000 And people were better off when they weren't eating corn syrup in fucking everything. 0.99

00:23:20.000 It's just not good for you. 0.99

00:23:22.000 And then, you know...

00:23:24.000 What people think is corn or canola oil, that's not canola oil.

00:23:28.000 That's rapeseed oil.

00:23:30.000 That's an industrial lubricant that they figured out a way to refine down to the point where human beings can eat it and not die immediately. 0.99

00:23:38.000 People fucking put it on everything. 0.96

00:23:40.000 This is the first time I've really, in the last 10 years or whatever, when I was a kid, we didn't eat it. 0.99

00:23:45.000 I mean, my parents, I love them, but we didn't eat fresh vegetables.

00:23:50.000 We had canned everything.

00:23:51.000 It says about a third of America's corn crop is used for feeding cattle, hogs, and poultry in the U.S. Corn provides the carbs in animal feed while soybeans provide the protein.

00:24:01.000 Takes a couple bushels of American corn to make corn-fed steak.

00:24:05.000 By some estimates, a beef cow can eat a ton of corn if raised in a feedlot.

00:24:09.000 Both dairy cows and beef cows also consume silage, which is fermented corn stalks and other green plants.

00:24:15.000 So, a third of the corn crop is used to make ethanol, which serves as renewable fuel, additive to gasoline.

00:24:22.000 The rest of the corn crop is used for human food, beverages, and industrial uses in the U.S. or exported to other countries for food or feed use.

00:24:32.000 Used to make breakfast cereal, tortilla chips, grits, canned beer, soda, cooking oil, biodegradable packing materials.

00:24:39.000 Have you ever watched that documentary, King Corn?

00:24:42.000 No.

00:24:42.000 It's great.

00:24:43.000 It's a good one.

00:24:44.000 It's a good one to watch.

00:24:45.000 It's a giant industry that's not good for us.

00:24:49.000 It's like all the things that it does, like you can do with other things and you'll be better off.

00:24:54.000 Right, right, right.

00:24:55.000 It's captive.

00:24:56.000 It'll never change. 1.00

00:24:58.000 Also, corn on the cob is fucking delicious. 0.99

00:25:00.000 That's the best corn. 1.00

00:25:01.000 That's the best form of corn. 0.94

00:25:02.000 There's nothing wrong with corn.

00:25:03.000 I love corn.

00:25:04.000 Corn's great.

00:25:04.000 I like...

00:25:05.000 Why is it so much better off the cob?

00:25:08.000 I like cream of corn soup.

00:25:08.000 Cream of corn soup is great.

00:25:09.000 I haven't had that.

00:25:10.000 Oh, I love that.

00:25:10.000 Maybe I've had that three times in my life.

00:25:12.000 Cream corn?

00:25:12.000 You're a cream corn?

00:25:13.000 Like at a steakhouse?

00:25:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:15.000 Corn's great.

00:25:15.000 Don't get me wrong.

00:25:16.000 But on the cob, it's like...

00:25:18.000 It's the best.

00:25:18.000 The sweet corn, that sweet corn.

00:25:20.000 Oh, with butter?

00:25:20.000 Butter and salt.

00:25:21.000 When you take the butter and the butter takes on the shape of the corn comp because you're just reckless.

00:25:25.000 You're running a whole stick of butter around that.

00:25:28.000 That's how I do it.

00:25:29.000 You hold the stick and go like this.

00:25:32.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:25:33.000 Fucking sweet corn fresh off the grill with butter. 0.99

00:25:38.000 One of the best things in the world. 0.99

00:25:40.000 Oh, my God.

00:25:41.000 So delicious.

00:25:42.000 Three, four of those things.

00:25:43.000 So delicious.

00:25:43.000 I don't know why they're better.

00:25:44.000 And you take that same exact corn and you kind of just take it off.

00:25:47.000 It's good, but it's just better on the comp.

00:25:50.000 Also, you're getting the melted butter in all the kernels and it's in your mouth while you're biting into it.

00:25:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:57.000 You know what else they used corn cobs for?

00:25:59.000 What?

00:26:00.000 In the 1800s?

00:26:01.000 Pipes!

00:26:01.000 Popeye!

00:26:02.000 No, before toilet paper.

00:26:03.000 Whoa! 1.00

00:26:05.000 No shit. 1.00

00:26:05.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:26:07.000 Can you imagine how rough their assholes were back then? 1.00

00:26:10.000 Because it catches... 1.00

00:26:11.000 Why?

00:26:12.000 Because of the shape?

00:26:13.000 Because they had it, I think. 1.00

00:26:14.000 Because they were just dummies. 1.00

00:26:16.000 They were living in a dumbass time. 1.00

00:26:18.000 Early North American sailors used corncob. 0.99

00:26:21.000 They were abundant, soft, and easy to handle.

00:26:23.000 Ugh! 0.97

00:26:26.000 Look at this.

00:26:27.000 Sailors use something they call a tow rag.

00:26:29.000 By the way, back then they didn't even run in water, so it's not like they're washing these things off.

00:26:33.000 You're a sailor with a corncob.

00:26:35.000 You're going to use that corncob over and over again. 1.00

00:26:37.000 You're going to be smearing new shit over the area where the old shit's dried up. 1.00

00:26:42.000 They dangled it in the water to clean it off. 1.00

00:26:49.000 You ever think about how people would have sex back then? 0.98

00:26:53.000 How would people still fuck back then? 1.00

00:26:54.000 They were disgusting things. 1.00

00:26:56.000 Think about how many years.

00:26:57.000 It's only like the last hundred years that people aren't disgusting.

00:27:00.000 Yeah, we were talking about St. Agnes who went his whole life.

00:27:03.000 Was it St. Agnes?

00:27:04.000 Yeah, I mean, anyway.

00:27:06.000 His whole life without having a bath.

00:27:10.000 His whole life.

00:27:11.000 He copped to that?

00:27:12.000 Once a year it was a lot.

00:27:13.000 It wasn't even that.

00:27:14.000 It was like you were supposed to do that.

00:27:16.000 Oh. 0.96

00:27:17.000 Yeah, like bathing was thought of as like a ridiculous thing to do.

00:27:21.000 I mean, day three, it starts to be a problem.

00:27:24.000 I don't know what happens.

00:27:26.000 I wonder what happens.

00:27:28.000 Like, what just happens if you never bathe?

00:27:30.000 Like, we just assume that you have to bathe.

00:27:32.000 Maybe that's the source of a lot of our problems.

00:27:35.000 We're not, like, covered in dirt and bacteria all the time.

00:27:38.000 Like, we're supposed to be, like, a normal animal.

00:27:40.000 Maybe that warded off.

00:27:41.000 Maybe that warded off, like...

00:27:44.000 I bet it...

00:27:45.000 Nah, it didn't stop, right?

00:27:48.000 No, not at all.

00:27:49.000 You don't think a T-Rex would be like, ugh...

00:27:50.000 I don't know how we made it so far.

00:27:52.000 I really don't.

00:27:53.000 I really don't.

00:27:54.000 I don't understand it. 0.99

00:27:56.000 I mean, I know it was the invention of weapons and tools and stuff and building houses, but goddamn, we're so weak. 0.97

00:28:03.000 Like, how much different were we back then? 1.00

00:28:04.000 We are so fucking weak. 0.97

00:28:06.000 I just can't imagine us without the houses and the weapons. 0.99

00:28:10.000 Like, how did we even make it that far?

00:28:12.000 And how much of a change was it once we developed the houses and the weapons? 0.99

00:28:16.000 Because we are so bitch-ass, like, as an animal. 0.99

00:28:20.000 Even if you're fit and in shape, even if you're a UFC fighter, you're like Islam Makachev, to compare to the nature world, our animal species is so bitch-ass. 1.00

00:28:33.000 We're so bitch-ass! 1.00

00:28:34.000 It's insane that we made it this far. 1.00

00:28:37.000 Yeah, it is.

00:28:38.000 I guess just...

00:28:38.000 Just the fact that we even survived to the point where we made a bow and arrow.

00:28:43.000 Like, how?

00:28:44.000 How did everything not just run up on us and eat us?

00:28:47.000 I don't know.

00:28:49.000 I always think about this, too.

00:28:51.000 There's always the first time, first person. 0.99

00:28:54.000 There was one person who was like, Oh shit, hold on a second. 0.99

00:28:59.000 I guess. 0.98

00:29:00.000 I guess they probably like stepped on things and cut themselves with it and then realized they could pick those things up and cut other things with it and then they figured out how to make those things.

00:29:11.000 Yeah.

00:29:11.000 And then we got email.

00:29:13.000 Then we got email.

00:29:14.000 Fast forward.

00:29:15.000 Fast forward you got AI. Yeah.

00:29:17.000 Fast forward. 0.98

00:29:17.000 Yeah, I mean could you fucking imagine being born You know, in Africa 500,000 years ago. 0.98

00:29:27.000 If you put me in Africa now, if you put me in the forest right now, if you put me anywhere right now, I'm done. 0.97

00:29:37.000 I don't know how to make a fire.

00:29:39.000 I don't know anything.

00:29:41.000 I can't explain anything.

00:29:42.000 I can't explain to you how mirrors work.

00:29:43.000 There's some places, like, I was reading this thing.

00:29:46.000 No, it was actually Paul Rosalie.

00:29:49.000 Paul Rosalie was talking about this.

00:29:50.000 If you get caught in the Amazon, do not try to make a fire because you won't be able to and it'll break your spirit.

00:29:58.000 I didn't think that's where you were going with that.

00:30:01.000 If you're lost in the Amazon, forget a fire.

00:30:04.000 It's not going to happen.

00:30:05.000 Your broken spirit will kill you before the elements?

00:30:08.000 You will realize how hopeless your plight is when it is impossible for you to make a fire.

00:30:13.000 So now you're gonna realize that everything that you eat is gonna be raw.

00:30:18.000 And you're gonna have to catch things and eat them raw to stay alive.

00:30:22.000 And now you're an animal.

00:30:23.000 No.

00:30:24.000 I don't even know.

00:30:26.000 I'd be trying to catch a smallest animal and strangle it.

00:30:29.000 What am I going to do?

00:30:30.000 And the likelihood of them finding you is so small.

00:30:33.000 If you just go on a walkabout, if you're like some wacky dude who goes off his meds and decides to go on a walkabout in the Amazon, they're not going to find you.

00:30:43.000 So many walkabouts just don't turn out well.

00:30:46.000 A lot of them don't.

00:30:47.000 Why keep walking about it?

00:30:49.000 Well, why are walkabouts so romantic to us?

00:30:52.000 You know, like that movie with a kid who, what was the movie called?

00:30:56.000 Where he lived in the bus in Alaska?

00:30:58.000 Yeah.

00:31:00.000 Into the Wild?

00:31:00.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:01.000 Into the Wild.

00:31:02.000 Like, why is that so romantic to us?

00:31:04.000 For someone who just goes out into the wild, and even if the dude dies out there like that guy did.

00:31:09.000 Maybe there's some type of, like, whether it be just finding yourself or, like, just being at one with these elements as much as possible feels like something romantic, I guess.

00:31:19.000 Yeah.

00:31:19.000 It feels like this understanding that we're disconnected from the rest of the world.

00:31:24.000 It gives perspective, for sure.

00:31:28.000 It does give you perspective. 0.98

00:31:30.000 It's also like, the more disconnected we are, the more ridiculous we behave. 0.97

00:31:35.000 Like, where do people behave the most ridiculously? 0.98

00:31:37.000 In big cities. 0.97

00:31:39.000 You're the most disconnected from nature.

00:31:41.000 The most. 1.00

00:31:42.000 You're living in concrete jungles, honk, honk, fuck you. 1.00

00:31:45.000 You're living in New York City, you're disconnected from nature, period. 1.00

00:31:48.000 Fuck your park. 1.00

00:31:49.000 Park's cute. 1.00

00:31:50.000 That park's cute.

00:31:51.000 It's surrounded by New York City.

00:31:53.000 It's so unnatural.

00:31:55.000 It's so contained.

00:31:56.000 It's actually contained by the city.

00:31:58.000 The park is contained.

00:31:59.000 It's not peaceful.

00:32:01.000 It's peaceful enough.

00:32:02.000 It's a nice park.

00:32:03.000 It's a lovely park.

00:32:04.000 You've been through it all?

00:32:05.000 You've been through it all?

00:32:05.000 Yeah, I've been through the park.

00:32:06.000 It's lovely.

00:32:08.000 I thought I went to it, but then one day I really went to it.

00:32:12.000 I went to every area, which there's so many things I didn't know.

00:32:16.000 It's really big.

00:32:17.000 There's like 50 places.

00:32:19.000 It's a beautiful thing about New York City that they have that park in the center of it.

00:32:23.000 It really changes the dynamic of the city.

00:32:25.000 It does.

00:32:25.000 I think it makes the city a more livable place, a more friendly place.

00:32:30.000 Absolutely.

00:32:30.000 I mean, it's crazy that you have this insane urban environment, then inside you have this massive park.

00:32:35.000 It's like another world in there.

00:32:36.000 It is.

00:32:37.000 But the difference between that and the woods, the actual woods, like the Colorado Rockies, the difference between being out there and waking up and just looking and all you see in front of you is mountain peak after mountain peak after mountain peak and it just goes along.

00:32:54.000 That is a different feeling.

00:32:57.000 That's the real feeling.

00:32:58.000 And that feeling is...

00:33:00.000 I think that feeling is like a thing we're supposed to get.

00:33:03.000 I think that's supposed to be...

00:33:06.000 I think it's a part of our requirements of being a human being that we connect with the earth.

00:33:11.000 That the earth sees us, we see it, we're out there in it, and we realize our actual place. 0.95

00:33:16.000 We get all cocky in our fucking Uber in New York City, getting out, buying a slice, and you think you're all disconnected... 0.99

00:33:23.000 We think we're better than— Well, we're just trapped in our own little fucking zoo, the little zoo that we've created. 0.99

00:33:29.000 But when you go out in the world, you feel so vulnerable. 0.98

00:33:32.000 You go out into the woods, you feel so, so minuscule, but connected.

00:33:40.000 Connected, but you're right.

00:33:40.000 You start to feel where our place is.

00:33:42.000 We are not as, we are bitch ass. 1.00

00:33:45.000 Bitch ass. 1.00

00:33:46.000 That first wave that comes over you is a bitch ass wave. 1.00

00:33:50.000 Bitch ass. 1.00

00:33:51.000 Compared to all the other things, bitch ass. 1.00

00:33:53.000 I don't think I'm catching anything. 1.00

00:33:54.000 I don't think I'm gonna kill anything.

00:33:56.000 What do you think you feel like when you, you're not even at a point where it just happened, but you know you ain't getting out of it.

00:34:03.000 So it's like, your survival mode is gonna kick in.

00:34:05.000 How long you last, I don't know.

00:34:07.000 You probably go into shock.

00:34:08.000 Like, if a bear grabs you, you probably just go into shock.

00:34:11.000 Well, I had this conversation yesterday, actually.

00:34:13.000 So, would you be able to play dead?

00:34:15.000 It depends on what the bear wants, man.

00:34:18.000 See, there's two types of bears. 0.88

00:34:21.000 Black bears and brown bears.

00:34:22.000 Black bears are more likely...

00:34:25.000 This is two types of bears in North America.

00:34:27.000 The black bears, they're also brown, too.

00:34:29.000 A lot of black bears are very...

00:34:31.000 Even blonde.

00:34:32.000 They look blonde sometimes.

00:34:33.000 They're called color-faced bears.

00:34:34.000 But they're more like...

00:34:35.000 Black bears are more likely to try to eat you.

00:34:38.000 Oh, I thought the opposite.

00:34:40.000 No, they're more likely to try to bite you and kill you to eat you.

00:34:43.000 Whereas brown bears, for the most part, when they're killing people...

00:34:46.000 Like grizzlies?

00:34:47.000 Yes.

00:34:48.000 Brown bears are...

00:34:49.000 The big ones are the ones that are the coastal bears because they have access to all the seafood.

00:34:54.000 That's why those are like those Kodiak bears.

00:34:56.000 Enormous, enormous grizzly bears.

00:34:58.000 But it's the same bear.

00:35:00.000 It's the same species. 0.99

00:35:01.000 It's just you have the inland one, which is eating mostly animals and berries and shit like that. 0.96

00:35:06.000 And then you have the coastal ones that are just gorging in salmon. 0.99

00:35:09.000 And so they're fucking huge. 0.95

00:35:11.000 Yeah, they put me in a cage with two of them. 0.98

00:35:12.000 They're actually less likely to try to go after you because they have an abundant food source. 0.97

00:35:18.000 Like there's people that like camp out by the river and watch these enormous fucking bears just eat salmon. 0.95

00:35:25.000 But the bears don't want to have nothing to do with you. 0.99

00:35:26.000 They're just eating salmon.

00:35:28.000 Like The Revenant, right?

00:35:29.000 I don't care what kind of bear it is.

00:35:31.000 If there's a bear coming at you, the bear has bad intentions.

00:35:34.000 Black, brown, white.

00:35:35.000 And they tell you to lay down and just stay there.

00:35:39.000 I know that the bear's gonna catch you if you keep running, but you think that you could play dead in that moment?

00:35:43.000 No.

00:35:44.000 It doesn't matter.

00:35:45.000 It'll just start eating you.

00:35:46.000 Right, so why do we get this advice?

00:35:48.000 Because if it's a mama bear, so if a mama bear goes after you because her cubs are there, and you scare her, like if you come too close and she doesn't know you're there, she thinks you're a predator, she may charge you.

00:36:03.000 She's taking her earrings off. 0.98

00:36:04.000 If she charges you and bites you, you should play dead. 1.00

00:36:07.000 You should play dead with her. 1.00

00:36:09.000 Because she's not trying to eat you. 1.00

00:36:11.000 She's just trying to protect her cubs. 0.99

00:36:12.000 Okay, she wants a knockout. 1.00

00:36:13.000 But it doesn't mean she won't eat you either.

00:36:15.000 Yeah, how are you playing dead when she's chomped through this? 1.00

00:36:19.000 Because sometimes she just wants to eliminate the threat and then get her babies to safety. 1.00

00:36:23.000 Yeah.

00:36:24.000 So that's why playing dead works with mama bears, sometimes.

00:36:27.000 So you're just hoping for a mama. 1.00

00:36:29.000 But it's a big sometimes.

00:36:30.000 It's a big sometimes.

00:36:31.000 Because sometimes they just eat you.

00:36:34.000 They're bears. 1.00

00:36:35.000 We don't have a fucking treaty with them. 1.00

00:36:38.000 Right. 0.99

00:36:38.000 That's why my strategy is just not to put myself in a place where there are bears. 0.99

00:36:42.000 That's a good move.

00:36:43.000 You know?

00:36:44.000 And look, it's worked so far.

00:36:45.000 That'll help you a lot in this life.

00:36:46.000 Yeah.

00:36:47.000 If you want to avoid getting eaten by bears, don't go in a place where they live.

00:36:49.000 Have you come across one like that?

00:36:51.000 Like just in the wild?

00:36:52.000 The scariest thing I came across, I've talked about it too many times on the podcast, but to tell you, I saw a big mountain line from about 30 yards away.

00:37:00.000 But I was inside my friend's truck.

00:37:03.000 And he spotted it.

00:37:04.000 It was about dusk.

00:37:05.000 It was in Utah, in the mountains.

00:37:07.000 And we were taking this corner, and he hits the brakes.

00:37:11.000 He goes, look at that cat.

00:37:13.000 And we look, and about 30 yards away, under a tree, is this enormous, enormous mountain lion.

00:37:21.000 With a head like a pumpkin, dude.

00:37:23.000 And these giant forearms.

00:37:25.000 And just sitting there, we're like... 1.00

00:37:27.000 Holy fuck, man. 0.99

00:37:28.000 And I had binoculars, so I pick up the binos, so I have these 10 power binoculars, so I'm looking in its face. 1.00

00:37:36.000 But I'm protected.

00:37:36.000 I'm inside the car, we have a gun.

00:37:38.000 I'm protected. 0.98

00:37:39.000 And I'm shitting my pants. 0.98

00:37:41.000 That's crazy. 0.96

00:37:42.000 I felt like some primal fear.

00:37:46.000 Some primal recognition of an actual monster.

00:37:50.000 Yeah.

00:37:50.000 Yeah, that kicked in from the inside.

00:37:52.000 From inside a truck with a gun.

00:37:55.000 It doesn't matter.

00:37:56.000 With the binoculars.

00:37:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:58.000 Dude, you look at this thing and its eyes were kind of- I got chills.

00:38:01.000 Because it's dusk, the eyes are kind of glowing a little bit.

00:38:04.000 Yeah.

00:38:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:06.000 No, thank you.

00:38:07.000 Bro!

00:38:07.000 No, thank you.

00:38:08.000 Those are the real monsters.

00:38:10.000 I had a collie dog bite me once and I was that scared.

00:38:13.000 So it's like, I'm not gonna go... 0.99

00:38:15.000 Hey, bro, if your cat wants to fuck you up, that's a real problem. 0.99

00:38:17.000 Yeah, I don't do cats. 0.99

00:38:19.000 But imagine a cat that's 170 pounds.

00:38:22.000 Yeah.

00:38:23.000 Dude, it's so scary.

00:38:25.000 It's so big.

00:38:26.000 You ever see these guys on Instagram, like they live with lions?

00:38:29.000 Oh, those guys are all good guys.

00:38:30.000 Like on the couch and they're like, come over and they just feed them like a sandwich.

00:38:34.000 Well, you know Melanie Griffin grew up with lions. 0.64

00:38:37.000 No, what?

00:38:37.000 The whole house was filled with lions.

00:38:40.000 Yeah.

00:38:41.000 How is that something everybody knows?

00:38:44.000 Her house was free-rolling lions?

00:38:47.000 No, no, no.

00:38:47.000 They had pet lions.

00:38:49.000 I mean enormous pet lions.

00:38:51.000 There's all these photographs of her as a child in California.

00:38:55.000 Right?

00:38:56.000 Wasn't it?

00:38:57.000 Her family was kooky.

00:38:59.000 These were just kooky lion pets?

00:39:02.000 Yes!

00:39:02.000 It wasn't like they were like carnies?

00:39:05.000 No!

00:39:06.000 Crazy lion people and they did a movie with these lions. 0.99

00:39:09.000 And the movie's supposed to be like the dumbest movie of all time. 0.99

00:39:13.000 Illegal? 0.98

00:39:13.000 Was it illegal to do that? 0.98

00:39:14.000 This is the movie.

00:39:15.000 What's it called again?

00:39:17.000 What is it, Jamie?

00:39:17.000 Roar.

00:39:18.000 Roar.

00:39:19.000 So, these are all their lions. 0.99

00:39:20.000 And a bunch of people got fucked up in the making of this movie, too, by the way. 1.00

00:39:24.000 No shit, I don't believe it. 0.99

00:39:25.000 Because they used actual real lions, man. 1.00

00:39:29.000 And so, like, they have fucking scenes. 1.00

00:39:31.000 Melody Griffiths is in this stupid movie. 1.00

00:39:33.000 All these clips of these actors right now. 1.00

00:39:35.000 Yeah, interacting with their pets.

00:39:36.000 Those are real lions?

00:39:37.000 Yes!

00:39:38.000 Every one of those people.

00:39:39.000 Yes!

00:39:41.000 How was that?

00:39:41.000 What was the insurance for that?

00:39:44.000 Insurance insurance. 0.99

00:39:45.000 Get the fuck out of here with your insurance. 0.99

00:39:47.000 They locked me in a motel room with a tiger, a Bengal tiger, in the Joker's movie. 1.00

00:39:52.000 They pushed me into a roadside hotel room, closed the door behind me.

00:39:55.000 I turned around, there was no knob on the inside, and I just was like, what is this for?

00:40:00.000 And I heard a grumbling, and then literally I was like, I plastered up against the wall because I was like, Dude, it's just a white tiger just comes out of the bathroom.

00:40:12.000 How can they predict the behavior of that thing? 0.98

00:40:14.000 Yeah, that's what I fucking said, too. 0.99

00:40:16.000 Bro, that's so dangerous. 0.99

00:40:17.000 And if you're freaking out...

00:40:19.000 It's on a chain.

00:40:19.000 It's on a chain, which is...

00:40:20.000 What are you talking about?

00:40:22.000 It's chained to the pole in the shower. 1.00

00:40:25.000 Bro, I also want you to look at that bitch-ass chain. 1.00

00:40:28.000 Do you know how strong those things are? 1.00

00:40:30.000 Look at that chain.

00:40:31.000 You don't think he can break that chain?

00:40:32.000 I know he could!

00:40:34.000 Bro, that is so crazy.

00:40:36.000 That's such a crazy thing to do.

00:40:38.000 I just forgot about that until this moment, too. 1.00

00:40:40.000 Fuck those things, man. 1.00

00:40:42.000 I said to them, fuck those things. 1.00

00:40:44.000 This isn't funny. 1.00

00:40:44.000 It's not even funny because I had to make the movie. 1.00

00:40:46.000 The first thing I said on camera is, do we have insurance?

00:40:49.000 It's in the movie. 0.99

00:40:50.000 I couldn't even play it up and it stayed in the fucking movie. 1.00

00:40:54.000 Dude. 1.00

00:40:54.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:40:56.000 But Roy. 1.00

00:40:56.000 Roy. 1.00

00:40:57.000 Look at that guy.

00:40:58.000 That guy.

00:40:58.000 Cigarette and Roy.

00:40:59.000 Yeah.

00:41:00.000 Same thing.

00:41:00.000 He raised that tiger from the time it was a baby.

00:41:04.000 And he would tell you- They don't even know why it had- There's all this speculation.

00:41:06.000 There was a lady with like- Some crazy hat on, apparently, and they think that, like, maybe the tiger was agitated by the lady, but it's all just, the tiger just decided to bite him.

00:41:15.000 Yeah, if that's all it takes, is that tiger to get agitated by a lady? 0.99

00:41:18.000 Yeah.

00:41:18.000 I mean, you're playing with Russian roulette your whole life.

00:41:21.000 I mean, like, he would tell you a billion times over, it's safe, it's safe, and then he gets his throat cut out.

00:41:26.000 I don't think it tried to kill him, though.

00:41:28.000 I think it was carrying him away, like a cub.

00:41:31.000 Mmm.

00:41:33.000 Yeah, I think his limp body.

00:41:34.000 Did they show that?

00:41:35.000 Yeah.

00:41:36.000 I don't think they showed it, but I think they have it.

00:41:38.000 I don't think anybody saw it.

00:41:39.000 He didn't die though, right?

00:41:40.000 Oh, he died.

00:41:40.000 He died eventually, but he was paralyzed.

00:41:43.000 Like a few hours later?

00:41:44.000 No, he was paralyzed.

00:41:45.000 Yeah, and he kept the tiger, right?

00:41:47.000 He was like, I forgive him.

00:41:49.000 It's the lady's fault. 1.00

00:41:52.000 You can't trust those things.

00:41:54.000 Because when it goes, you saw the one where the guy was, he had a trained grizzly bear for a movie.

00:42:00.000 It had been in a few movies.

00:42:02.000 And it just, he's doing this thing, and it just bites this guy's neck off.

00:42:05.000 Just jumps on this guy's neck and tears it apart in front of everybody.

00:42:09.000 Nothing anyone could do about it.

00:42:11.000 The bear just jumps on him for no reason.

00:42:13.000 Dude's just standing there, just totally standing still.

00:42:16.000 And the bear just decides, I want to bite you.

00:42:20.000 Imagine what you feel in that moment, knowing that you're going to die, knowing that it's gonna be this way, knowing that people are watching and can't help, and you're gonna die in front of...

00:42:28.000 Like your whole life, when am I going?

00:42:29.000 How's it gonna happen?

00:42:30.000 It could have all been avoided.

00:42:32.000 Like, don't do that.

00:42:33.000 Don't get out there.

00:42:34.000 This is just not...

00:42:35.000 It's not 100%, kids.

00:42:37.000 Even if it's 99.9%, that little tiny one that...

00:42:41.000 When the bear decides to just do what nature wants it to do...

00:42:45.000 Yeah.

00:42:46.000 They want to kill things, man.

00:42:47.000 It's part of the fun of being a bear.

00:42:50.000 It's part of the fun of being a tiger.

00:42:52.000 It's part of the fun. 0.86

00:42:52.000 They like to kill things. 0.86

00:42:54.000 That's how they survive. 0.99

00:42:55.000 There's a reward system that's built into their DNA, and we have this stupid belief that we could just slide steaks under the door, and they'll be cool with that. 0.98

00:43:05.000 And then eventually they just want, I want to get my own meat! 0.94

00:43:07.000 Yeah, like, you're not the boss of me.

00:43:09.000 So the tiger never attacked him during the Vegas show.

00:43:12.000 He saved my life.

00:43:15.000 I don't know, Roy.

00:43:16.000 I don't know if we're picking it up.

00:43:17.000 Why does he think the tiger saved his life?

00:43:22.000 Instinctively, oh, he said he might have been having a stroke.

00:43:27.000 Hold on a second.

00:43:28.000 Roy maintains that Monocore was really trying to drag him to safety after seeing him felled by what he thinks may have been a stroke.

00:43:36.000 He said he instinctively saw that I needed help and he helped me.

00:43:40.000 Oh, he was taking medication for high blood pressure for years, said he recently began to suffer dizzy spells, and this one spell unfortunately occurred in the presence of a very large tiger.

00:43:51.000 He said, I started feeling weak.

00:43:52.000 He still speaks slowly, but has recovered most of his German accented speech as I fell over.

00:43:57.000 Montecore saw that I was falling down.

00:43:59.000 So he actually took me and brought me to the other exit where everybody could get me and help me.

00:44:05.000 He knew better than I did where to go. 0.92

00:44:07.000 So he's saying that the tiger fucked him up accidentally while it was dragging him to safety. 0.98

00:44:11.000 Did that come out right away? 0.98

00:44:13.000 I mean, it's amazing if that's what happened, but...

00:44:16.000 Tigers don't understand.

00:44:17.000 You can't just drag a dude by his neck and not, like, break it.

00:44:20.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:44:21.000 Because we're bitch ass. 1.00

00:44:22.000 Yeah, he's like Lenny from The Vice and Men. 1.00

00:44:24.000 Yeah, you could do that to a puppy.

00:44:26.000 Two gaping puncture wounds to the neck.

00:44:29.000 Before passing out, Rick Hall said, leave Montecore alone, bring him back to his brother and sister, let him be happy. 0.99

00:44:34.000 These guys are so crazy. 0.54

00:44:34.000 I picture Roy being dragged. 0.54

00:44:35.000 Suffering from severe blood loss.

00:44:37.000 This picture of, like, blood squirting.

00:44:39.000 He's like, leave Montecore alone!

00:44:41.000 Thank you!

00:44:42.000 Leave him alone! 1.00

00:44:44.000 Bring it back to his brother and sister!

00:44:47.000 Oh my god.

00:44:48.000 Suffering from severe blood loss and shock, he was considered medically dead at one point when his heart stopped.

00:44:53.000 He also suffered the stroke that would ravage the left side of his body.

00:44:57.000 So, was the stroke before or was the stroke because of him getting bitten?

00:45:03.000 He might be rationalizing.

00:45:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:45:06.000 He could have just had the stroke, and that would be bad enough, but he could have just had a stroke.

00:45:10.000 Do they know when he had the stroke?

00:45:15.000 What he's saying makes sense though.

00:45:16.000 If that cat loves him and the cat sees him faint and the cat wants to drag him to safety, it's just they don't know they can't just bite you.

00:45:24.000 You ever see the reunions of the trainers and they haven't seen them in years?

00:45:30.000 These zoo guys that raise tigers and set them free and then they reunite them?

00:45:36.000 In the wild they reunite them and these tigers just come charging at the guy, jump up and just start licking them.

00:45:41.000 Yeah.

00:45:42.000 You see that, and I think that's bad press to put out there, really, to tell you the truth.

00:45:46.000 Why?

00:45:47.000 Because it's making it look like a domesticated house cat.

00:45:50.000 The thing looks adorable.

00:45:51.000 It's looking at it.

00:45:52.000 I'm like, maybe I could raise a lion.

00:45:53.000 Yeah, don't do that.

00:45:55.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

00:45:56.000 But it's like... 0.99

00:45:58.000 If you raise one from the time it's a baby, it realizes, like, oh my god, that life is so much better than this bullshit life of chasing gazelles. 0.99

00:46:05.000 I know, right? 1.00

00:46:06.000 You know, that life sucks. 0.98

00:46:07.000 And this guy's, like, leather sectional in his house, and he's just throwing the meat, and he's, like, playing DJ Khaled. 0.99

00:46:16.000 I'm like, this guy's going to die.

00:46:18.000 He has, like, 30 lions free-roaming the house.

00:46:21.000 Yeah.

00:46:21.000 He's got like a billion Instagram followers.

00:46:24.000 Everyone's following waiting for the post.

00:46:27.000 Tiger scene in Houston neighborhood found after a week of searching and legal wrangling.

00:46:32.000 A week?

00:46:33.000 A week is crazy.

00:46:34.000 That's so crazy to have a tiger rolling around for a week.

00:46:37.000 Just dodging for a week?

00:46:38.000 How is it hiding?

00:46:40.000 How are they so bad at finding tigers?

00:46:42.000 Anyone who lays eyes on that tiger is calling it in. 0.99

00:46:44.000 Yeah, but don't you have helicopters and shit? 0.99

00:46:46.000 Yeah, you don't let that go for a week. 0.94

00:46:48.000 How do you get that?

00:46:49.000 Where's it going?

00:46:51.000 Where'd it go?

00:46:51.000 Nobody gets lunch until they find it.

00:46:53.000 It's like, you can't just let it go.

00:46:55.000 It's overtime, boys.

00:46:57.000 Come on.

00:46:57.000 Every night they were like, all right, let's go to bed tomorrow.

00:47:00.000 We'll wake up early.

00:47:02.000 It's not a tiny tiger.

00:47:03.000 So it came right up to people?

00:47:05.000 Is that what it's doing?

00:47:06.000 It says an off duty police officer points a weapon as the apparent owner retrieves the tiger that had gotten out.

00:47:12.000 Oh my god.

00:47:13.000 So this dude can just grab it.

00:47:15.000 That's kind of cool though that they just let the guy grab his tiger instead of shooting it.

00:47:21.000 Until they find like a bunch of dead dogs and cats.

00:47:24.000 You think that that's a small tiger?

00:47:26.000 I went to the Nashville Zoo.

00:47:27.000 I got like a backstage whatever tour, whatever.

00:47:29.000 They had baby cloud leopards that were just born.

00:47:32.000 I held them in my hand and fed them with a bottle, right?

00:47:36.000 They were this big.

00:47:36.000 I mean, you could have crushed it, right?

00:47:38.000 And a year later, I was back there on the road.

00:47:40.000 I went back and they said, do you want to see the baby cloud leopard you fed?

00:47:45.000 And they build these outdoor structures, these cages.

00:47:47.000 So they're living outside, but they're in outdoor cages.

00:47:51.000 So, they bring me in the cage, right?

00:47:53.000 And we're with a few people, and they're like, that's the one that you fed last year.

00:47:56.000 And it's like, now it's like, it was this big when I fed them, now it's probably like this big.

00:48:00.000 But it's lean, it's lean.

00:48:01.000 Like this big.

00:48:02.000 Like, bigger than any house cat you've ever seen, but not like, You'd still think like, you know, it couldn't hurt you.

00:48:08.000 So they tell you, they say, whatever you do, just don't turn you back to it.

00:48:12.000 So I was like, okay.

00:48:14.000 And I was like, can this thing hurt me or not?

00:48:17.000 Like, why are we in here?

00:48:17.000 You know what I mean?

00:48:18.000 And at one point, I turned around.

00:48:20.000 Like, we were going to walk out.

00:48:20.000 I turned around.

00:48:21.000 It swiped at me right here.

00:48:23.000 I still have a mark for it.

00:48:24.000 It swiped at me right here and sliced me and drew blood.

00:48:27.000 It wasn't a deep cut or anything.

00:48:29.000 It just, like, missed it.

00:48:30.000 It only did it when you turned your back.

00:48:32.000 When I turned. 0.99

00:48:33.000 I was like, oh my, it fucking did it. 0.98

00:48:35.000 And it's just one line right here. 0.98

00:48:37.000 It wasn't like, I didn't need medical attention.

00:48:39.000 Thank God, but it got me and it broke skin.

00:48:42.000 Deep, predatory instincts.

00:48:44.000 Just turning around. 1.00

00:48:45.000 And I was like, how the fuck I fed you last year? 0.97

00:48:47.000 Yeah, it's something that's not looking. 0.98

00:48:48.000 Anything that's not looking that's gonna get it.

00:48:50.000 Isn't that scary?

00:48:52.000 Yeah.

00:48:52.000 And it's like built into its hard drive.

00:48:55.000 Dude, what about that lady that got her face ripped off by the chimp? 1.00

00:48:58.000 Oh, just reading about that.

00:48:59.000 Oh my God.

00:49:00.000 They have a picture, I think, of it.

00:49:02.000 Oh, don't see it.

00:49:03.000 Yeah, don't do it.

00:49:04.000 Yeah, that's a terrible story, man.

00:49:06.000 That's a terrific story.

00:49:07.000 And I think they have like audio of it or something like where she's just like...

00:49:10.000 It's a 911 audio.

00:49:13.000 Those chimps, they dismember you. 0.56

00:49:16.000 He ripped her entire face off. 0.99

00:49:18.000 Yeah, they try to ruin you. 0.99

00:49:21.000 They try to bite your fingers off. 1.00

00:49:23.000 They go for your genitals. 1.00

00:49:25.000 They tear your feet off. 1.00

00:49:27.000 That's an odd handbook for them. 0.85

00:49:31.000 Let me tear his feet off first. 0.99

00:49:33.000 They want to cripple you. 0.99

00:49:35.000 They're not even trying to kill you. 0.98

00:49:36.000 They're trying to cripple you.

00:49:38.000 Is that what they're doing?

00:49:38.000 Yeah, they're smart.

00:49:40.000 Cripple you and then what? 0.99

00:49:41.000 They're evil and smart. 0.98

00:49:41.000 They're trying to ruin you. 0.98

00:49:42.000 Run up your bills? 1.00

00:49:42.000 No more fingers, bitch. 1.00

00:49:44.000 Just cripple you and walk away and be like, now live like that? 1.00

00:49:46.000 Yeah, they just want to hurt you. 0.97

00:49:48.000 Like, they don't have any morals.

00:49:50.000 They're just these wild, intelligent things.

00:49:52.000 Why do they have a breakpoint then? 0.75

00:49:54.000 Why do they want to just kill them? 0.98

00:49:55.000 I don't know why they do that to people, but if they wanted to kill you, they could kill you really quick. 0.99

00:50:00.000 They could just bash your head against the ground and you'd be dead in a second. 0.96

00:50:03.000 But I don't think they want to kill you. 1.00

00:50:05.000 I think they want to fucking hurt you. 1.00

00:50:07.000 They punish you. 0.99

00:50:10.000 One of the more horrible stories was this guy had a chimp that he raised for a while and then it got big and it became a bit of a problem and he had to give it to a rescue center.

00:50:21.000 And he would go back with his wife and they would visit the chimp. 1.00

00:50:25.000 And one time he went back and he brought the chimp a cake because it was his birthday. 1.00

00:50:29.000 And the other chimps were so angry that they didn't get cake. 0.99

00:50:35.000 You gotta be fucking kidding. 0.99

00:50:36.000 And someone fucked up and left one of the doors open. 1.00

00:50:39.000 And the chimps got out. 0.99

00:50:41.000 They figured out a way to get out.

00:50:43.000 They opened the door, attacked the guy, and just tore him apart. 0.92

00:50:48.000 Tore his hands off, tore his face off. 0.82

00:50:50.000 The guy who raised... 0.96

00:50:52.000 Uh-huh. 0.81

00:50:53.000 It wasn't him, it wasn't the chimp he raised that did that. 1.00

00:50:56.000 It was the other chimps.

00:50:58.000 So the other chimps were jealous that they didn't bring them, that he didn't bring them cakes too.

00:51:02.000 You have to bring cake for everybody.

00:51:03.000 They're evil.

00:51:04.000 They can be evil. 0.96

00:51:05.000 Like, they don't care.

00:51:07.000 It's not like a proportionate response to something.

00:51:11.000 No, I think that's, you know, they overreact.

00:51:14.000 A little bit.

00:51:14.000 But they're intelligent, but they're also like...

00:51:19.000 Ruthless in this crazy way that is incomprehensible.

00:51:22.000 Like the worst, worst possible characteristics you could ever imagine happening in human beings are just common.

00:51:30.000 Yeah.

00:51:31.000 Just common.

00:51:31.000 Wow.

00:51:32.000 With chimps.

00:51:33.000 Commonplace.

00:51:34.000 Man, that's another thing.

00:51:36.000 Like, explaining these deaths.

00:51:38.000 Like, you know, like to his family down the line.

00:51:41.000 He's like, oh, he brought an angel food cake to a...

00:51:44.000 He didn't even kill him.

00:51:45.000 It just tore him apart.

00:51:46.000 It didn't kill him?

00:51:46.000 No, he survived.

00:51:48.000 And then does he have a life after that?

00:51:49.000 Or what is...

00:51:50.000 How much?

00:51:51.000 You know, his face is gone.

00:51:52.000 His hands are gone.

00:51:54.000 Different. 1.00

00:51:55.000 His body's all fucked up. 1.00

00:51:56.000 They just tear you apart. 1.00

00:51:57.000 They go for your dick. 1.00

00:51:59.000 I wonder how it feels about cake now, the guy. 1.00

00:52:01.000 They're probably done.

00:52:02.000 He's got a bit of a...

00:52:04.000 Maybe I should have brought four cakes.

00:52:06.000 Yeah.

00:52:06.000 He's probably a cookie guy only now.

00:52:08.000 Wow.

00:52:08.000 I wouldn't look at cake.

00:52:09.000 It's too traumatic.

00:52:10.000 It even has the eyeballs.

00:52:12.000 And it's not like...

00:52:14.000 I had a chimp...

00:52:14.000 I saw a chimp bite somebody.

00:52:16.000 When I was little...

00:52:16.000 Really?

00:52:17.000 Yeah.

00:52:17.000 When I was little, we went to go...

00:52:19.000 You familiar with, like, New York, like, upstate, like, um...

00:52:22.000 Like, what do they call it?

00:52:23.000 Lake George and stuff like that?

00:52:24.000 Sure, I know where that is.

00:52:24.000 We go, like, up there and we...

00:52:26.000 Like, or even the poker...

00:52:28.000 Like, the Catskills.

00:52:28.000 Beautiful.

00:52:29.000 Yeah.

00:52:30.000 So we would go up there, and I remember we were at this, like, little resort or whatever, and they had, like, entertainment.

00:52:36.000 And they had, like, a daily show, and it happened every day.

00:52:39.000 And we were there for a few days, so I would go to the show every day.

00:52:41.000 It was in this little, like, cabaret theater.

00:52:44.000 And this guy would come out, a cowboy in all sequence outfit, and he hosted the show.

00:52:48.000 It was full of kids.

00:52:49.000 And there was all different acts, and he would bring them out.

00:52:52.000 So he brings out, one of the acts he brings out, the stage becomes a little ice skating rink.

00:52:58.000 And the ice skating rink, I'd say, is maybe twice the size of this table.

00:53:01.000 It's just for them to do little twirls. 1.00

00:53:03.000 And the guy comes out, and he has a chimp dressed as a cowboy in ice skates. 0.99

00:53:09.000 He's dressed as a cowboy in ice skates and they start skating together and doing he's holding the chimp and they're twirling and twirling and everything and then the chimp loses control Flies he lets go the chimp the chimp flies off the stage and the woman at a little cocktail table in the front He landed on her and bit her right here as he landed bit her right here and she I mean,

00:53:31.000 she was bleeding everywhere.

00:53:32.000 She started screaming. 0.96

00:53:33.000 It bit me!

00:53:34.000 It bit me!

00:53:35.000 And she's screaming.

00:53:37.000 And the guy didn't know what to do.

00:53:38.000 And he got the chimp and they got back onto the ice. 0.99

00:53:41.000 And he was like, okay.

00:53:46.000 He took a chunk.

00:53:47.000 You saw a chunk of flesh out.

00:53:49.000 Oh.

00:53:49.000 I was like eight, you know, and I was like, I couldn't believe, and there was no one really there.

00:53:55.000 There was like 15 people.

00:53:56.000 The place was empty.

00:53:57.000 It was like a weekday chimp ice skating show. 0.98

00:53:59.000 No one wanted to see it.

00:54:00.000 It was like at lunch, and it was all dark in there, like it was all moody and everything.

00:54:04.000 Oh my god.

00:54:05.000 It was a surreal experience, and this guy just was like, alright, that's gonna be the show for today.

00:54:10.000 And the next day they did the show with the chimp. 0.99

00:54:13.000 The next day they did the show with the chimp. 0.93

00:54:14.000 With the same girl?

00:54:16.000 No, no.

00:54:16.000 The woman was a patron.

00:54:18.000 A patron?

00:54:18.000 Yes.

00:54:19.000 I don't know what happened.

00:54:20.000 Did you sue back then?

00:54:22.000 Were the suing days?

00:54:23.000 I mean...

00:54:24.000 Did you hear anything about it?

00:54:25.000 I mean, I was eight.

00:54:26.000 I kept my ear to the streets, but nothing came over my desk.

00:54:29.000 I mean, I had to imagine there was some type of lawsuit.

00:54:32.000 I can't believe, though, that, like, the...

00:54:34.000 A chimp didn't get put down. 1.00

00:54:35.000 Yeah.

00:54:36.000 Well, maybe it did.

00:54:37.000 Maybe it did.

00:54:39.000 I don't know.

00:54:39.000 It was wild, though.

00:54:41.000 They're starting to clamp down on that.

00:54:43.000 They're trying to pass laws in places saying you can't have chimps. 1.00

00:54:47.000 Ice skate or just...

00:54:48.000 Just regular.

00:54:49.000 Can't have regular ones.

00:54:50.000 Because this lady in Connecticut just said it was legal what she was doing. 1.00

00:54:53.000 I think they've changed those laws, though.

00:54:56.000 You shouldn't be able to have them.

00:54:57.000 We can't wear shoes on a plane because one time, one time, one guy failed at doing something with his shoes.

00:55:05.000 Right.

00:55:06.000 This lady gets her face ripped off to the skull, still can have chimpanzees. 1.00

00:55:10.000 Still can have them. 0.95

00:55:11.000 Not a big deal.

00:55:12.000 I don't know if you can anymore.

00:55:14.000 After her?

00:55:15.000 Yeah, I think they changed- Oh, she was the woman that did it? 0.98

00:55:17.000 I think, well, there was those two different stories that were both in the news around the same time.

00:55:23.000 And one of them was the guy that brought the birthday cake to the chimps.

00:55:26.000 And the other one was this lady whose friend was visiting her and just got the chimp tore apart her friend. 1.00

00:55:31.000 That was a bad time for chimps.

00:55:33.000 Okay.

00:55:33.000 Under CT... Is this Connecticut?

00:55:36.000 It's illegal to import and possess all primates in the family hominid, gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, and orangutans.

00:55:43.000 Sue's...

00:55:44.000 That are accredited by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums or the Zoological Association of America are exempt from the ban.

00:55:51.000 So they passed a ban after she got tore up. 1.00

00:55:56.000 But that's just Connecticut.

00:55:57.000 But there's places you could have them.

00:55:59.000 I guarantee you could have them right here.

00:56:01.000 Guarantee.

00:56:02.000 You see people with Crocs?

00:56:03.000 In Texas.

00:56:04.000 People have Crocs in their apartments. 1.00

00:56:06.000 There's people in fucking New York City. 0.99

00:56:08.000 In New York City, there's a guy that had a tiger in his house. 1.00

00:56:11.000 In his apartment.

00:56:12.000 And the cops are like, there's a very famous photo of the cops going up the fire escape. 1.00

00:56:16.000 And you look in the window, you see a fucking cat. 0.99

00:56:19.000 I mean, a big tiger dude. 1.00

00:56:21.000 Yeah.

00:56:21.000 So it's like this bear in its teeth.

00:56:23.000 It's the nuttiest picture.

00:56:24.000 Yeah.

00:56:25.000 What is he supposed to do? 0.97

00:56:27.000 Shoot it with a dart or something, right? 1.00

00:56:28.000 I think you have to shoot it, shoot it. 1.00

00:56:30.000 I don't think a dart... 1.00

00:56:32.000 I mean, I don't know what they did.

00:56:34.000 I don't know how they did it.

00:56:36.000 Well, good lord.

00:56:38.000 Who's gonna be close enough to a cat in an apartment to shoot with a dart? 0.99

00:56:43.000 Are you fucking sure you're gonna hit it? 0.99

00:56:45.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:56:46.000 I'm not going in there.

00:56:47.000 Are you sure?

00:56:48.000 You only get one shot.

00:56:49.000 How many darts?

00:56:50.000 What are you talking about? 0.85

00:56:52.000 You're gonna go in the apartment and shoot it with a dart? 1.00

00:56:54.000 Are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00

00:56:56.000 That's not me. 1.00

00:56:56.000 And he's the guy that gets the call. 1.00

00:56:58.000 He's going to the fire escape with a dart in his hand.

00:57:01.000 He's used to like dogs.

00:57:02.000 Yeah.

00:57:03.000 A dog? 1.00

00:57:04.000 Yeah, I'll shoot a dog with a dart. 0.93

00:57:06.000 I'm surprised that tiger just doesn't live there until it dies because who's extracting that thing? 0.87

00:57:10.000 Yeah.

00:57:11.000 Well, what if it gets out?

00:57:13.000 What if it figures out that windows are like, you just go right through them.

00:57:16.000 What about in Florida? 0.99

00:57:18.000 People, kids and dogs and everything get eaten by fucking Crocs and alligators every single day. 1.00

00:57:23.000 Not every day. 1.00

00:57:25.000 Joe, it's every day, Joe.

00:57:27.000 They don't have very many crocodiles.

00:57:30.000 More than I think should happen.

00:57:32.000 I mean, people have their houses blocked off so the crocs can't get in there. 0.91

00:57:36.000 Yeah, it's alligators, mostly.

00:57:38.000 Oh, alligators, yeah.

00:57:39.000 There's a difference.

00:57:40.000 Crocodiles are way more dangerous.

00:57:42.000 Oh, is that right?

00:57:42.000 They're way more aggressive.

00:57:43.000 But did they cohabitate?

00:57:45.000 They do in the Everglades apparently now.

00:57:47.000 Not a lot, but they have had more than one sighting of Nile crocodiles in the Everglades.

00:57:56.000 And some of the biologists have a speculation that there might be a breeding population.

00:58:00.000 Really? 1.00

00:58:01.000 Because there's so many assholes who just release things in the Everglades. 1.00

00:58:06.000 I mean, you know the python situation there, right? 1.00

00:58:08.000 No.

00:58:09.000 You haven't seen a bat?

00:58:10.000 No.

00:58:10.000 Nothing?

00:58:10.000 No.

00:58:11.000 The Everglades are infested with giant pythons that are all invasive.

00:58:17.000 They're all pets.

00:58:18.000 Wow.

00:58:19.000 Or from research.

00:58:20.000 Are you serious?

00:58:21.000 Yeah, so they're either from a research place where people were working.

00:58:24.000 Some of them definitely got released there, but other ones are released just because there's people's pets. 0.99

00:58:28.000 So assholes, some fucking dude is into death metal, has a python. 1.00

00:58:32.000 It's like, you know, I can't feed you right now, but I'm gonna let you go. 1.00

00:58:36.000 And in two years after my album hits, I'll be back.

00:58:38.000 Remember me! 1.00

00:58:39.000 He lets this fucking monster loose in the swamps, and they've decimated the swamps. 1.00

00:58:45.000 So the Everglades is missing like 90% of all of its mammals. 1.00

00:58:50.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:58:51.000 Everything. 1.00

00:58:52.000 They're eating alligators now. 0.97

00:58:53.000 The pythons are eating alligators.

00:58:55.000 There's this crazy photograph.

00:58:57.000 A python can eat, I guess, yeah, right?

00:58:58.000 Well, they died doing it, because the alligator worked its way partially out of the python's body with its tail.

00:59:05.000 That's wild. 0.95

00:59:06.000 Fucked up photo. 0.98

00:59:07.000 They threw me in the swamps in the bayou in New Orleans where alligators were for the show. 0.99

00:59:13.000 Jesus Christ.

00:59:14.000 Yeah, man.

00:59:14.000 Why?

00:59:15.000 You could die, man.

00:59:16.000 These are like real you could die things. 0.61

00:59:18.000 I know.

00:59:19.000 They dressed me as a bog.

00:59:20.000 The ghillie suit is like a bog monster.

00:59:22.000 And they put me in a swamp and I had to hide behind this thing.

00:59:26.000 I mean, dude, the swamp swamp.

00:59:28.000 Not like we took a fan boat.

00:59:30.000 The water looked like chocolate milk.

00:59:32.000 If you put your hand under the...

00:59:33.000 That's so dangerous.

00:59:34.000 I know.

00:59:35.000 If you put your hand under the water this low, you couldn't see your hand.

00:59:37.000 It's gone.

00:59:38.000 Yeah, it's gone.

00:59:39.000 It's about 110 degrees that day.

00:59:40.000 They put me in this ghillie. 0.85

00:59:41.000 I was nervous about germs anyway, so I actually literally wore a condom to go in there because I was afraid of stuff going up my pee hole. 1.00

00:59:48.000 Like a fish swimming up your dick? 1.00

00:59:49.000 No, no, a parasite. 1.00

00:59:51.000 Oh, right.

00:59:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:59:51.000 I was just like, I don't know if it was going to help, but I was like...

00:59:55.000 Why not?

00:59:56.000 Right.

00:59:56.000 It's like wearing a mask.

00:59:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:58.000 I just was like, I'm just going to put it on my soft dick. 1.00

01:00:02.000 Anything that can help me, really. 1.00

01:00:04.000 Because I wasn't allowed to say no.

01:00:06.000 You can't say no to these things.

01:00:07.000 That's the whole point of the show.

01:00:08.000 When you lose, you can't say no to whatever's coming your way.

01:00:11.000 So there was a fan boat tour that passed the route, and they wanted me to come out during the fan boat tour so the guy could be like, oh, the lure of the bog monster. 0.99

01:00:20.000 Just fuck it with me. 0.99

01:00:21.000 Not to scare the people, to make me look like a moron and just... 1.00

01:00:25.000 Yeah, but do they know for sure, okay, this is fine. 0.97

01:00:29.000 No, so, they didn't tell me that that was happening.

01:00:34.000 But, so that's my friend just attacking me.

01:00:37.000 But, so they, I had to hide behind that area of me just getting into it.

01:00:43.000 Yeah, dude.

01:00:43.000 What I would worry about doing this in Louisiana is someone who's got a gun.

01:00:49.000 And is like, I'm gonna finally kill me a Bigfoot. 0.92

01:00:52.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.92

01:00:52.000 You know? 0.92

01:00:53.000 Well, they were on the tour. 0.68

01:00:54.000 There's people that are not smart.

01:00:57.000 Yeah.

01:00:57.000 And they are armed.

01:00:58.000 Yeah.

01:00:59.000 Yeah.

01:01:00.000 Well, I mean, I didn't think of that.

01:01:02.000 I was worried about the alligators.

01:01:02.000 I'd be worried about them more than they would be the alligators.

01:01:05.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:01:06.000 Scaring regular white people. 0.89

01:01:09.000 In that moment though, I actually got so nauseous because it was 105 degrees to smell and I threw up. 0.78

01:01:18.000 And I couldn't leave where I had to stay for the bit, so I was just standing up, sitting in my own throw-up.

01:01:24.000 Oh, God.

01:01:25.000 Jesus Christ, dude.

01:01:26.000 And then, like, about 15 minutes in, they go, oh, Sal, Sal, get back!

01:01:30.000 And they point, and there's an alligator.

01:01:33.000 And it's coming at me, and I think it's even on camera, and I go, ah!

01:01:37.000 And I turn, and I run toward the boat screaming. 0.98

01:01:40.000 And it was a fucking remote control alligator that they got that I didn't even know existed. 0.99

01:01:46.000 But it was an alligator. 0.99

01:01:47.000 And for a good 10 seconds, my reality was that an alligator was coming at me.

01:01:54.000 That would be the end of your show.

01:01:55.000 I wasn't mobile.

01:01:55.000 Look at that outfit I was in.

01:01:56.000 I couldn't really move.

01:01:57.000 That would be the end of the show.

01:02:01.000 Yeah, and then the end of the show, but you were thinking about the show, right?

01:02:03.000 Yeah, I mean, I was like, I cannot.

01:02:05.000 What about all the basic cable fans?

01:02:07.000 What about all the people that work behind the scenes?

01:02:09.000 The real heroes?

01:02:10.000 Yeah.

01:02:11.000 Don't do those things, dude. 0.98

01:02:13.000 Don't fuck around with nature. 1.00

01:02:15.000 If you want to do silly things with humans, that's great. 1.00

01:02:17.000 But you start getting in the swamps, dude.

01:02:19.000 They're few and far between.

01:02:20.000 It sounds like we do it a lot, but they're few and far between.

01:02:22.000 Imagine how a python just clamped ahold of your leg and started wrapping around your body and you realize you're trapped. 1.00

01:02:28.000 You're trapped in this stupid fucking swamp where you can't see anything, you don't know how to get out, and this snake's trying to kill you. 1.00

01:02:36.000 You don't even have a weapon. 1.00

01:02:37.000 You have nothing to fight it off.

01:02:39.000 I hope I go by surprise.

01:02:41.000 That wouldn't be much of a surprise.

01:02:43.000 The beginning would be a surprise.

01:02:44.000 I don't want to go in that way. 0.99

01:02:46.000 I don't want to know that there's death imminent in the next one minute to hour, whatever the fuck it is. 0.99

01:02:51.000 When a python wraps around you, I'd imagine it takes a little while. 1.00

01:02:55.000 I bet the fear of it taking a while, it constricting you, is probably fucking... 1.00

01:03:01.000 Just numbing. 0.99

01:03:02.000 You probably can't think.

01:03:03.000 You're probably so overwhelmed with fear.

01:03:06.000 These things constricting your body and literally breaking your bones.

01:03:11.000 It's like crushing you.

01:03:15.000 I'm so scared of death already, and I think of death all the time, and never have I thought of it in the light that we've been talking about tonight, so we just added a whole nice new bucket for me.

01:03:24.000 Yeah, animals are things you really need to worry about.

01:03:26.000 My friend Paul Rosalie, he lives in the Amazon, and he got on top of an anaconda that was so big, he couldn't get his arms around it.

01:03:37.000 Yeah.

01:03:39.000 Why?

01:03:40.000 He was seeing this thing slither through the water and it was kind of dark out.

01:03:45.000 And, you know, you'd have to go listen to the clip on YouTube to get the exact wording of how he said it.

01:03:50.000 He essentially wanted to try to hold on to it because it wasn't going to try to come back.

01:03:55.000 He took a chance that it wouldn't attack him.

01:03:58.000 Why?

01:03:59.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:04:00.000 He's just fucking insane. 1.00

01:04:01.000 One that big? 1.00

01:04:03.000 Dude.

01:04:03.000 Like why?

01:04:04.000 I don't understand.

01:04:05.000 It's so big that he couldn't get his arms around it.

01:04:08.000 Is that what he does?

01:04:08.000 He's basically like my size, maybe a little bigger than me.

01:04:11.000 He couldn't get his arms around it.

01:04:12.000 Does he work with...

01:04:14.000 Well, he works with the rainforest.

01:04:16.000 He works in the rain...

01:04:17.000 Cafe?

01:04:18.000 No, no, no.

01:04:19.000 His whole thing is saving rainforest land.

01:04:22.000 And what they do is they take these people that were hired as loggers and they pay them more money to protect the rainforest.

01:04:29.000 Because it's basically just poor people.

01:04:30.000 And doing that, they've saved like millions of acres of rainforest.

01:04:34.000 And he's worked...

01:04:35.000 So he actually lives out there.

01:04:37.000 So he sees these things.

01:04:38.000 And he said, this is the biggest one he's ever seen.

01:04:40.000 They don't even know, really, how big the biggest one is.

01:04:43.000 It's just like the limited number that they've measured and come in contact with.

01:04:47.000 Right.

01:04:48.000 So what was his end game?

01:04:49.000 Just wanted to, like, experience it, I think.

01:04:53.000 Like, just grab ahold of it.

01:04:54.000 He didn't think it would bite him.

01:04:56.000 I don't remember him talking about this.

01:04:57.000 He tried to get eaten by a snake at one point about 10 years ago.

01:05:01.000 He tried to?

01:05:02.000 They filmed it for a show.

01:05:04.000 He tried to get eaten by the biggest anaconda they could find.

01:05:06.000 And what were they going to do?

01:05:07.000 They were going to kill it? 0.62

01:05:08.000 Did he have some kind of crazy suit on?

01:05:10.000 Yeah, he had this suit on here.

01:05:12.000 That it prevented him from dying? 0.99

01:05:13.000 What the fuck is he doing? 0.99

01:05:14.000 He just looks like he's from Mortal Kombat. 1.00

01:05:16.000 It's carbon fire? 0.99

01:05:17.000 Oh God, that's so ridiculous. 0.93

01:05:19.000 Yeah, I don't know how... 1.00

01:05:21.000 I mean, look, it's got its head around him.

01:05:23.000 Jesus Christ.

01:05:23.000 Wait, what?

01:05:24.000 Yeah.

01:05:25.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:05:26.000 What a dumb idea, Paul. 1.00

01:05:30.000 So that suit is preventing the strength of that snake from crushing him? 0.99

01:05:33.000 Did you see, Jamie, see if you can find that video of the largest anaconda ever discovered.

01:05:40.000 These guys are swimming under the water with it in this river.

01:05:43.000 It's insane.

01:05:45.000 That's what I was trying to get to.

01:05:46.000 It's insane.

01:05:47.000 These guys are swimming down there in the water, and this thing's moving along the bottom of the water, and its head is like this big.

01:05:55.000 It's like a crocodile or something.

01:05:57.000 It's so big.

01:05:59.000 It's head is like way bigger than you think a snake's head should be, like bigger than a human head.

01:06:04.000 Underwater is scarier to me than the forest even.

01:06:07.000 Underwater, it's another planet.

01:06:09.000 They're aliens.

01:06:10.000 They are aliens.

01:06:11.000 And there's no doors.

01:06:14.000 There's no doors.

01:06:15.000 You never lock yourself in a room like, whew!

01:06:18.000 Finally I'm home.

01:06:19.000 Nobody gets to relax.

01:06:20.000 Wow, it's unobstructed.

01:06:21.000 Yeah, there's no doors. 1.00

01:06:22.000 Look at this fucking thing, dude. 0.99

01:06:24.000 Look at this thing. 1.00

01:06:25.000 It's 26 feet long.

01:06:29.000 Look at these guys swimming by it.

01:06:30.000 And what is that eating?

01:06:32.000 Everything it wants.

01:06:33.000 To sustain that size, what is that thing eating?

01:06:36.000 Everything.

01:06:36.000 Look at its head, man.

01:06:37.000 He goes right to it. 1.00

01:06:38.000 Look at the fucking head on that. 1.00

01:06:39.000 He's got on a Fisher-Price goggle set from CVS. What is he doing? 1.00

01:06:43.000 He's being a dork. 1.00

01:06:44.000 Look at his outfit. 1.00

01:06:45.000 He's got his watch on?

01:06:47.000 Yeah, he might be one of them influencers. 0.99

01:06:49.000 But whoever this fella is, or maybe he's just a scientist that's a young kid, but whoever this fella is, like, you got balls. 0.99

01:06:57.000 Just to assume that thing doesn't want to just eat you. 0.99

01:06:59.000 But it's not even balls, though. 0.99

01:07:01.000 It is balls. 0.99

01:07:02.000 His name is Dr. Freak. 0.97

01:07:04.000 So you still don't know if he's a doctor or an influencer?

01:07:07.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:07:08.000 Freak Vonk?

01:07:09.000 Is that what it said? 1.00

01:07:10.000 Dr. Freak dies fucking with a boa. 1.00

01:07:12.000 I can see it. 1.00

01:07:13.000 What a great name.

01:07:14.000 Dr. Freak. 0.78

01:07:15.000 He sounds like he should be like one of them DJs at an EDM show.

01:07:19.000 Yeah, Dr. Freak's here.

01:07:21.000 What's the best name?

01:07:22.000 Marshmallow.

01:07:22.000 Dr. Freak.

01:07:24.000 The best name I've heard for anybody.

01:07:26.000 Solid name. 0.80

01:07:26.000 Just a great friggin' name. 0.80

01:07:27.000 For like what? 0.96

01:07:28.000 For a human?

01:07:29.000 As a human name, yeah.

01:07:30.000 Like just as someone's first and last name.

01:07:31.000 I never even thought about that.

01:07:33.000 Nothing comes to mind.

01:07:34.000 Yeah.

01:07:35.000 What about you? 0.93

01:07:36.000 Someone just said something to me a couple days ago and I was like, that is the fucking coolest name I've ever heard, but I don't fucking remember it. 0.67

01:07:43.000 But like it was something like Enrico Palazzo or something. 0.91

01:07:45.000 It was something like, you know.

01:07:46.000 Oh, like a good flairful name.

01:07:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:07:49.000 If you have a flairful name and you're a fucking loser, that's gotta suck. 1.00

01:07:54.000 Yeah, that's gotta suck. 1.00

01:07:55.000 You know? 1.00

01:07:55.000 You got some beautiful name, but you turn out to be a loser? 1.00

01:07:57.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:07:58.000 He's a Dutch wildlife presenter, so he's like...

01:08:00.000 Oh, so he's a presenter, but is he also a doctor?

01:08:03.000 I don't want to call him Dr. Freak if he's not really a doctor.

01:08:07.000 That's a real bat thing? 1.00

01:08:09.000 That's a bear with wings right there?

01:08:11.000 Yeah, but that's a perspective thing.

01:08:13.000 If you've got to look where his feet are, he's standing behind it.

01:08:15.000 The bat's in front of the camera.

01:08:17.000 Still.

01:08:18.000 No, it's not as big as it looks.

01:08:20.000 Still.

01:08:21.000 Yeah.

01:08:22.000 Still.

01:08:23.000 I mean, it's probably kind of big.

01:08:25.000 He's not that far behind.

01:08:27.000 He's far enough.

01:08:29.000 Yeah, but if he got right up to it, it would be about that big.

01:08:32.000 No!

01:08:33.000 The rat body.

01:08:34.000 The body part.

01:08:35.000 I think if he got close to it...

01:08:38.000 Which kind is it?

01:08:39.000 By the way, how do those things exist and we don't talk about them or see them more?

01:08:43.000 Well, wing length is five feet.

01:08:44.000 Wing length is five feet.

01:08:45.000 Okay.

01:08:46.000 It's like foxes, fox size, I think. 1.00

01:08:48.000 Oh, fuck that. 1.00

01:08:49.000 Oh, really? 1.00

01:08:50.000 Like fox sized?

01:08:51.000 Yeah.

01:08:51.000 Oh, God.

01:08:52.000 Look at this lady. 1.00

01:08:52.000 Oh, my God, dude. 1.00

01:08:54.000 That's a lot bigger. 0.99

01:08:55.000 That one's fucking... 1.00

01:08:56.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:08:57.000 Oh, my God.

01:08:57.000 Look at that.

01:08:58.000 That's a thing of nightmares.

01:08:59.000 That's like Bram Stoker's Dracula where Gary Oldman turns into one of those.

01:09:02.000 Yeah.

01:09:02.000 That's what it looks like.

01:09:05.000 Who's even going near those things?

01:09:06.000 What are they?

01:09:07.000 They're in Bali.

01:09:08.000 There's a large, I guess, fruit bats?

01:09:09.000 We're so lucky they just like fruit.

01:09:11.000 Oh my god, yeah.

01:09:13.000 So the same way cows feel about vegans.

01:09:16.000 So happy.

01:09:17.000 You ever go over here to see bats?

01:09:19.000 Oh yeah.

01:09:20.000 Is it really 1.5 million?

01:09:22.000 I didn't count.

01:09:23.000 No, that's the stat they give you.

01:09:24.000 Yeah, that's the stat.

01:09:25.000 I don't know, but it's an insane amount of bats.

01:09:27.000 It's a sight to see.

01:09:28.000 Oh yeah, it's crazy.

01:09:29.000 I've seen it from a distance, but I've never gone and stood there.

01:09:31.000 It's a cloud of bats. 0.99

01:09:32.000 You get shit on? 0.99

01:09:33.000 Well, you probably would if you were under them. 1.00

01:09:37.000 You know?

01:09:38.000 Like, where it is is like where the bridge meets the water. 0.97

01:09:41.000 So I imagine when they're flying out, they shit on the water. 0.93

01:09:45.000 You know, there was a couple doctors died. 0.99

01:09:48.000 Because they were standing in front of this cave in Africa where bats, it's like fucking millions and millions of bats in this cave. 0.93

01:09:56.000 And every night they would come out and they wanted to get photographs of these bats coming out of the cave. 0.93

01:10:02.000 So they're sitting there waiting. 0.99

01:10:04.000 The bats come out of the cave and just drench them in shit. 1.00

01:10:10.000 Millions and millions of bats just shitting in their face. 1.00

01:10:15.000 And they didn't think of that.

01:10:17.000 And they got some crazy hemorrhagic virus.

01:10:20.000 And they were both dead in a matter of days.

01:10:24.000 Again, I'm just thinking of the obit for that. 0.99

01:10:27.000 You tell them, their great-grandfather got shit on by too many bats at one time. 0.99

01:10:32.000 And it just went south from that. 0.99

01:10:34.000 He's a bat scientist that didn't think about this one thing. 0.99

01:10:38.000 How do you not know that's about to happen?

01:10:41.000 Or maybe they just didn't think it would be the volume it would be.

01:10:44.000 See if you can find that case.

01:10:48.000 That sounds different.

01:10:50.000 How did it come to be down here?

01:10:51.000 Why are they all here?

01:10:53.000 That's a good question.

01:10:53.000 I don't know, but apparently they eat the mosquitoes.

01:10:55.000 There's more in Houston.

01:10:57.000 Oh, really?

01:10:58.000 Yeah, it's a migration and a mixture of two different colonies.

01:11:01.000 They fly from Mexico.

01:11:02.000 Dude, they're so cool.

01:11:04.000 When they come out at night and you hear them.

01:11:07.000 That's the sound they make? 0.98

01:11:09.000 And you see them fucking flying over like, whoa, look at them all. 0.99

01:11:12.000 They're cool. 1.00

01:11:13.000 And they apparently do just fuck those mosquitoes up. 1.00

01:11:17.000 Imagine if the bats weren't around and we had like way more mosquitoes. 0.94

01:11:20.000 Because apparently they love mosquitoes. 0.79

01:11:22.000 Yeah.

01:11:23.000 You guys don't have a mosquito problem down here then, I'm assuming.

01:11:25.000 We do.

01:11:27.000 No, I wouldn't say it's a mosquito problem.

01:11:29.000 Alaska has a mosquito problem.

01:11:31.000 You ever been to Anchorage in July?

01:11:33.000 No.

01:11:34.000 Bro. 1.00

01:11:35.000 You get out of your fucking car. 1.00

01:11:36.000 I went, but it was August 1st. 1.00

01:11:37.000 You get out of your car, it's like a scene from The Birds, like the Alfred Hitchcock movie.

01:11:41.000 Or Alfred Hitchcock.

01:11:43.000 No?

01:11:43.000 I went to Australia in the desert and stuff, and they had to wear nets, because the bugs just land on you and just stay there.

01:11:54.000 Is it Alfred Hitchcock or Albert Hitchcock?

01:11:56.000 Alfred.

01:11:57.000 Right?

01:11:57.000 Yeah.

01:11:59.000 Once you say it wrong, your brain goes, wait, which one's the right one?

01:12:03.000 Yeah.

01:12:04.000 Those words, you don't hear Alfred or Albert anymore.

01:12:08.000 Kids, these days.

01:12:10.000 No, there's so many things you don't hear.

01:12:11.000 You do not get called Alfred.

01:12:13.000 Alfred's dead.

01:12:15.000 Yeah.

01:12:15.000 My dead name is...

01:12:16.000 Alfred.

01:12:17.000 I've never heard that name.

01:12:18.000 I think Alfred is probably more...

01:12:19.000 It's a beautiful name.

01:12:20.000 It is, and I think it's probably more Alfreds than other names, though.

01:12:24.000 Adolf's gone.

01:12:25.000 That's a wrap.

01:12:26.000 You can't name your kid Adolf.

01:12:28.000 You can name your kid Genghis.

01:12:31.000 Nobody would flinch.

01:12:33.000 That dude killed 10% of the population of the earth.

01:12:36.000 I know, everybody's like, wow, what a cool name.

01:12:38.000 Is it spiritual?

01:12:40.000 Do you feel connected to the Mongols?

01:12:42.000 Everybody would be cool with that name.

01:12:44.000 Is this like, as in Khan? 0.87

01:12:45.000 You could call him Temujin, which is Genghis Khan's real name.

01:12:49.000 Was it really?

01:12:50.000 Genghis Khan was a stage name?

01:12:52.000 No, it was like, he was a Khan. 0.99

01:12:56.000 Khan is the ruler.

01:12:57.000 And I think, I don't know what it means.

01:13:01.000 What does Genghis mean?

01:13:03.000 It's something about who he is as a ruler.

01:13:08.000 But his name, he was born, his name that he was given at birth was Temujin.

01:13:12.000 Then he became a con.

01:13:13.000 So you could call your kid Temujin and you'd be naming your kid after someone who killed 10% of the population of Earth while he was alive. 0.97

01:13:20.000 You think Genghis ever thought his ancestors would own the Jacksonville Jaguars?

01:13:25.000 It says, Temujin formally adopted the title Genghis Khan, the meaning of which is uncertain.

01:13:32.000 At an assembly in 1206, carrying out reforms designed to ensure long-term stability, he then transformed the Mongols' tribe... 0.97

01:13:42.000 Structure into an integrated meritocracy dedicated to the service of the ruling family.

01:13:48.000 After thwarting a coup attempt from a powerful shaman.

01:13:52.000 Oh, what a wild time to be alive.

01:13:55.000 Warlords and shamans are trying to get a coup on you.

01:13:58.000 Genghis began to consolidate his power in 1209. He led a large-scale raid into the neighboring Western Z. Who agreed to Mongol terms the following year.

01:14:08.000 Yeah, he did a lot of wild shit. 0.99

01:14:10.000 We could go on and on for that. 1.00

01:14:11.000 He killed a lot of fucking humans, man. 1.00

01:14:13.000 Dan Carlin probably had the answer in his podcast about that, right? 1.00

01:14:17.000 This is just from the Wikipedia.

01:14:19.000 Yeah, Dan Carlin's podcast is the best source of that.

01:14:22.000 If you want to know a cool story that's entertaining that you could follow along with, it's the wrath of the Khan.

01:14:29.000 The Replicon.

01:14:29.000 It's all about that duo.

01:14:30.000 It's a lot.

01:14:31.000 But my point is, like, you could name your kid Demogen.

01:14:33.000 Nobody would freak out.

01:14:34.000 Name your kid Adolph, and he can't hang out with my kids.

01:14:36.000 Yeah, right.

01:14:37.000 You can't bring Adolph over the house.

01:14:39.000 He's four.

01:14:40.000 He doesn't know.

01:14:42.000 That's the number one name, right?

01:14:43.000 But what's number two?

01:14:45.000 Adolf is a layup, right?

01:14:47.000 Everyone knows no Adolf.

01:14:49.000 Right.

01:14:49.000 Is there even a two?

01:14:51.000 Is he alone on his own now?

01:14:52.000 I think he's alone on his own.

01:14:54.000 Yeah.

01:14:54.000 Right?

01:14:55.000 Because, like, Joseph Stalin existed before I was born.

01:15:00.000 I'm Joseph Rogan.

01:15:01.000 Like, nobody flinched on Joseph.

01:15:02.000 Yeah.

01:15:05.000 You know? 1.00

01:15:06.000 Such a piece of shit. 1.00

01:15:08.000 Such a piece of shit, but yet, you can still say it. 1.00

01:15:11.000 Osama bin Laden. 1.00

01:15:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:15:14.000 Well...

01:15:14.000 The rest of these are not real.

01:15:16.000 Yeah, Osama would be a hard one. 0.62

01:15:19.000 Yeah, that's a hard one.

01:15:20.000 Hussein would be a hard one.

01:15:21.000 Illegal baby names in the United States?

01:15:24.000 Illegal?

01:15:24.000 What?

01:15:25.000 What?

01:15:26.000 Jesus Christ?

01:15:27.000 You can't name your kid Jesus Christ?

01:15:28.000 You can't name your kid King?

01:15:30.000 You're kidding me.

01:15:30.000 You're kidding me right now.

01:15:31.000 You can't name your kid.

01:15:32.000 It's against the law.

01:15:34.000 You can't name your kid Santa Claus.

01:15:36.000 You can't name him the Atsimul.

01:15:38.000 Bro, you can't name your kid Magistry.

01:15:40.000 It says they were ruled illegal, but I don't...

01:15:43.000 You can't name your kid Majesty?

01:15:47.000 Why not?

01:15:48.000 Why can't you name it 1069?

01:15:50.000 Wait a minute, you can't name your kid Messiah, but you can name him Muhammad?

01:15:54.000 Right.

01:15:55.000 Help me out.

01:15:56.000 No, it doesn't make any sense.

01:15:58.000 Help me out, because a lot of kids are named Muhammad.

01:15:59.000 Yeah, of course.

01:16:01.000 Yeah, but why 1069?

01:16:03.000 What the hell's that?

01:16:04.000 Robocop's illegal in Mexico?

01:16:06.000 Robocop's illegal in Mexico?

01:16:09.000 No, no, no, my friend.

01:16:11.000 No, my friend.

01:16:13.000 No.

01:16:14.000 We draw the line, my friend.

01:16:16.000 You know what's funny?

01:16:17.000 It's not like they're getting caught in the hospital, so it has to get word.

01:16:20.000 So there's a knock at the door one day, it's the police, and they're like, we gotta rename your son right now.

01:16:26.000 Robocop.

01:16:27.000 This is from the US birth certificates dot com.

01:16:30.000 Robocop Martinez.

01:16:31.000 Oh my god.

01:16:33.000 Oh my god.

01:16:35.000 The N-word's on there.

01:16:36.000 Yeah, there's a lot of them.

01:16:37.000 There's a lot of illegal names.

01:16:39.000 I didn't know.

01:16:39.000 I didn't know you couldn't name your kid Jesus Christ, but I know a dude named Jesus.

01:16:43.000 Sure.

01:16:44.000 This is Jesus.

01:16:45.000 I mean, it's just...

01:16:45.000 Right.

01:16:46.000 But are you allowed to be...

01:16:46.000 Can't throw the Christ in there.

01:16:48.000 What if your last name is Christ, and you want to name your kid Jesus?

01:16:52.000 I mean, there's some Christs out there. 1.00

01:16:54.000 Some dudes, their last name is Christ.

01:16:56.000 What are they supposed to do?

01:16:57.000 I can't name my son Jesus?

01:16:59.000 Yeah, right.

01:17:00.000 You can't do that.

01:17:01.000 How come you can name your son Muhammad?

01:17:03.000 How come you can't name your son Jesus?

01:17:06.000 Think about how many Muhammads there were. 1.00

01:17:08.000 Think about if it was like...

01:17:09.000 The most popular name in the world.

01:17:11.000 If it was in vogue to name your kid Jesus.

01:17:16.000 Just millions of Jesuses. 0.99

01:17:18.000 So many Jesuses. 1.00

01:17:19.000 Right, right.

01:17:20.000 Because if you think about how many Mohammeds there are, why are there not an equal number of Jesuses? 1.00

01:17:24.000 Right.

01:17:24.000 Because we don't allow it.

01:17:26.000 It's a weakness in our religion.

01:17:28.000 That would become meta.

01:17:30.000 Because then Jesus would be really omnipresent.

01:17:33.000 Yeah, the Christians should get together and say, guys, it's a weakness in our religion. 1.00

01:17:36.000 We've got to let people name themselves Jesus.

01:17:38.000 Yeah, I mean, it's...

01:17:39.000 Encourage it.

01:17:40.000 I'm going to change my name to Jesus.

01:17:41.000 It's a walking billboard.

01:17:42.000 You know what I mean?

01:17:43.000 Jesus Robinson.

01:17:45.000 Yeah.

01:17:46.000 Everybody just comes Jesus and then whatever your last name is. 0.60

01:17:49.000 You know, I knew a Jesus and as I'm thinking of this, I was able to compartmentalize it.

01:17:53.000 I didn't think of Jesus every time I called him Jesus.

01:17:55.000 Was he actually Jesus?

01:17:56.000 He was called Jesus, not Jesus?

01:17:58.000 We called him Jesus, yeah.

01:17:59.000 But was he Mexican?

01:18:01.000 He was of some Hispanic descent.

01:18:04.000 I don't know what.

01:18:05.000 Did his mom call him Jesus?

01:18:06.000 He was my nephew's friend.

01:18:08.000 I didn't know him like...

01:18:09.000 But everybody called him...

01:18:10.000 Did they call him Jesus because they couldn't say Jesus?

01:18:14.000 Or was his name actually Jesus?

01:18:16.000 I think his name was Jesus.

01:18:17.000 Really?

01:18:18.000 Yeah.

01:18:18.000 Well, what about Jesus the comic?

01:18:20.000 There's a dude that...

01:18:21.000 Trejo, right?

01:18:22.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:18:23.000 No, that's Jesus.

01:18:24.000 I call him Jesus.

01:18:25.000 Okay.

01:18:25.000 Yeah.

01:18:26.000 Right.

01:18:26.000 But he's Mexican.

01:18:28.000 They don't say it that way.

01:18:30.000 They don't say it that way, yeah.

01:18:30.000 It's a different thing.

01:18:31.000 But how do they say Jesus, though, in Spanish?

01:18:35.000 Isn't it Jesus Christe?

01:18:37.000 It is, but we...

01:18:38.000 So it's Jesus.

01:18:39.000 Everybody called the guy Jesus.

01:18:40.000 Ain't that wild?

01:18:41.000 Stop for a second.

01:18:42.000 So if you're Spanish...

01:18:45.000 Of Latin descent, it is really popular to name your kid Jesus.

01:18:49.000 Because Jesus is a super common name.

01:18:51.000 That's what it is.

01:18:52.000 It's stuck up.

01:18:53.000 White people in America won't name their kid Jesus.

01:18:55.000 It just takes a courageous person right now listening to our voice. 0.93

01:19:00.000 Just a courageous person out there to name your kid Jesus.

01:19:03.000 If you name him Jesus, that second name, that last name has to be...

01:19:08.000 It's gotta go with it.

01:19:09.000 I think a lot of things won't go with Jesus.

01:19:11.000 You know what goes best with it? 1.00

01:19:13.000 Fucking. 0.99

01:19:14.000 Jesus. 1.00

01:19:14.000 Jesus fucking Robinson. 1.00

01:19:18.000 Can you do that? 1.00

01:19:19.000 Can you name your middle name fucking? 1.00

01:19:21.000 That'd be so great. 1.00

01:19:22.000 I don't know if you can, but I think you can legally change your name more likely than you can be naming a baby that way.

01:19:28.000 Okay, yeah. 1.00

01:19:30.000 Like, you rude asshole. 1.00

01:19:32.000 You're gonna name your kid this little beautiful, innocent baby. 1.00

01:19:35.000 You're gonna name him Jesus fucking Robinson. 0.99

01:19:40.000 No, you'd have to... 0.99

01:19:42.000 But if you were an adult, you're like, look, I'm 38 years old.

01:19:46.000 Things are not getting any better.

01:19:47.000 This is life for me. 0.99

01:19:49.000 I want to be Jesus fucking Robinson. 0.99

01:19:51.000 I want to be legally. 0.99

01:19:53.000 So at the very least, I pull my ID out.

01:19:56.000 What's your name? 0.99

01:19:57.000 Jesus fucking Robinson. 1.00

01:19:59.000 So good. 0.99

01:20:00.000 It's a good name.

01:20:01.000 Says it on the wallet.

01:20:02.000 It's a good name.

01:20:02.000 Solid name.

01:20:03.000 Especially if you could do something real good. 0.98

01:20:05.000 If, like, that's your actual real birth name and you're really good at, like, fucking fixing cars. 0.99

01:20:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:12.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:20:13.000 You're gonna get your car fixed by Jesus fucking Robinson. 0.99

01:20:19.000 I was almost a Steve, my mom told me. 0.99

01:20:22.000 I was almost a Steve, but my dad's Sal, so thankfully I got his name.

01:20:25.000 That's a better name for an Italian.

01:20:27.000 Steve is, you know...

01:20:28.000 I'm half.

01:20:29.000 Yeah, but you look Italian.

01:20:31.000 Yeah.

01:20:32.000 I actually just did 23andMe, like all the extended package genetic thing.

01:20:36.000 I just got my results by a couple days ago.

01:20:38.000 Pretty crazy.

01:20:39.000 Do you ever do it?

01:20:40.000 Yeah, I've done it.

01:20:41.000 Did you like what you gleaned from it?

01:20:43.000 Was it interesting, or...?

01:20:45.000 It was pretty much what I thought.

01:20:46.000 It was.

01:20:46.000 Yeah, I'm somewhere in the neighborhood of three-quarters Italian and one-quarter Irish.

01:20:52.000 And there's like percentages less because there's like 1.6% African, 1% Asian.

01:20:59.000 And it seems to be mostly just Italian, though.

01:21:02.000 Yeah, it all goes back to the same.

01:21:04.000 They were able to connect me to...

01:21:06.000 It said in there, there's like about...

01:21:11.000 For the woman, it was 150,000 years. 0.88

01:21:13.000 For the male, it was 275,000 years.

01:21:16.000 They said if you trace everyone back, it'll go to one person.

01:21:20.000 Because even though there were a few thousand, a lot of that DNA and that lineage died off.

01:21:27.000 And there was this one that just ended up getting through.

01:21:32.000 I literally just read it today.

01:21:34.000 I took a picture of it on my phone, actually.

01:21:36.000 Let me see.

01:21:37.000 Just the unlikelihood of you making it to 2024. Like, your genes...

01:21:43.000 If you were a person that lived 50,000 years ago, your kid...

01:21:48.000 Had a kid and kept going.

01:21:50.000 No, they had a kid.

01:21:51.000 Someone had a kid.

01:21:51.000 Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids.

01:21:53.000 Here we are.

01:21:54.000 50,000 years later, your genes are still popping.

01:21:57.000 It's insane.

01:21:58.000 It's just wild to me.

01:22:00.000 So, the first man to carry likely lived this gene that I have.

01:22:04.000 Likely lived in Southwestern Asia or the Caucasus between 46,000 and 54,000 years ago.

01:22:12.000 His male line descendants appear to remain rooted in the region for tens of thousands of years while the Ice Age was in full swing.

01:22:18.000 Then, around 11,500 years ago, the Ice Age finally gave way to the warmer climate, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:22:23.000 But, hold on, this is the guy.

01:22:28.000 The human species was confined to a relatively small range in eastern and southern Africa.

01:22:33.000 Over time, members of this gene pool migrated.

01:22:39.000 There was one that said you could trace it, right?

01:22:41.000 If every person living today could trace his or her maternal line back over thousands of generations, all of our lines would meet at a single woman who lived in eastern Africa between 150,000 and 200,000 years ago.

01:22:54.000 Though she was one of perhaps thousands of women alive at the time, only the diverse branches of her DNA have survived to today.

01:23:01.000 The story of your maternal line begins with her. 0.99

01:23:05.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:23:06.000 And for the guys, it's 275,000 years ago. 0.99

01:23:10.000 Current evidence suggests he was one of thousands of men who lived in Eastern Africa.

01:23:14.000 However, while his male line descendants passed down their Y chromosome generation after generation, the lineages from the other men died out.

01:23:21.000 After time, he was a lone guy.

01:23:22.000 And they told me I'm related to this dude.

01:23:24.000 You ready?

01:23:25.000 Literally a known guy.

01:23:27.000 O.T. the Iceman.

01:23:29.000 No way!

01:23:29.000 I swear to God, let me read you this.

01:23:31.000 Dude, I've seen that story a hundred times.

01:23:33.000 Have you?

01:23:34.000 That story's crazy.

01:23:35.000 This is what it says about this dude.

01:23:37.000 Hold on.

01:23:38.000 It says, Oti the Iceman was discovered in 1991 protruding from a snowbank.

01:23:44.000 We'll get Jamie to show some pictures of it.

01:23:46.000 We've shown it before.

01:23:48.000 I know the exact story.

01:23:50.000 So that's it right there.

01:23:51.000 Look how dope it looks.

01:23:52.000 They found him as the glacier melted.

01:23:55.000 He's got an arrowhead stuck in him.

01:23:57.000 That's like my uncle. 0.98

01:23:58.000 That's nuts, dude.

01:24:00.000 You're related to that guy. 1.00

01:24:02.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:24:04.000 Isn't that insane? 1.00

01:24:05.000 Probably a lot of people are.

01:24:07.000 He had tattoos.

01:24:08.000 Did he really?

01:24:09.000 Yeah, he had tattoos.

01:24:11.000 Really?

01:24:11.000 Yeah.

01:24:13.000 Look at what he looked like.

01:24:15.000 Had the world oldest tattoos, it said.

01:24:17.000 See if you can go back to that thing that you were reading?

01:24:19.000 Just there?

01:24:20.000 Right below that.

01:24:21.000 Right there.

01:24:21.000 That's it.

01:24:22.000 Had the world's oldest tattoos.

01:24:24.000 How were they made?

01:24:25.000 The oldest tattoos that we know about, right?

01:24:27.000 So he had 61 tattoos.

01:24:30.000 Wow.

01:24:30.000 He had like a tramp stamp?

01:24:32.000 Yeah, he had a tramp stamp.

01:24:33.000 Oh, he had a bunch of lines carved in him.

01:24:35.000 Interesting.

01:24:36.000 Look at that, all those lines.

01:24:38.000 Even back then, they're like tattoos.

01:24:40.000 Yeah, isn't that wild?

01:24:42.000 Might have been a part of ancient healing technique.

01:24:44.000 Hmm, that's just guessing, right?

01:24:46.000 It said that he was murdered.

01:24:47.000 Did you see that?

01:24:47.000 Oh, because of the arrow, but it said it might have been from someone, or it might have been someone that he knew.

01:24:53.000 Mm.

01:24:55.000 Chemical analysis of his teeth indicate he came from the Italian side of the Alps.

01:24:59.000 He suffered during the year before his death with whipworm, a stomach parasite that was found in his digestive tract, yet he was fit enough.

01:25:08.000 Ailing with whipworm for a year to climb 6,500 feet in elevation during the day or two before he met his end in a rocky alpine hollow.

01:25:15.000 Apparently was murdered, struck by a stone arrow point that was found large in his left shoulder.

01:25:20.000 The twisted position of his body indicates that the murderer or one of his accomplices pulled the arrow's shaft out of his prone body.

01:25:27.000 Wow.

01:25:28.000 Whoever killed him didn't want his valuables because he had a wrought copper axe still with him.

01:25:33.000 Wow. 0.54

01:25:34.000 They just wanted to kill him. 1.00

01:25:35.000 Mm-hmm. 0.94

01:25:38.000 And you're related to that dude.

01:25:40.000 That dude jizzed in someone.

01:25:43.000 Literally.

01:25:44.000 Yeah.

01:25:45.000 Before he died by an arrow, he jizzed in someone and that made it to 2024. I'm not here if he's not there.

01:25:52.000 No, you're not here. 0.99

01:25:53.000 If he didn't get that nut off, that's fucking wild. 0.99

01:25:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:25:57.000 Probably some tattooed up crazy cave lady. 1.00

01:26:00.000 Two of them just grunting, smelling like shit. 1.00

01:26:02.000 Ah! 1.00

01:26:03.000 Ah!

01:26:04.000 Ah!

01:26:05.000 I mean, nuts.

01:26:06.000 She screams. 0.65

01:26:07.000 She wants a baby. 1.00

01:26:09.000 Can we have a fucking baby? 1.00

01:26:10.000 And fucking 50,000 years later, I have a show on Truth. 1.00

01:26:15.000 We're on TBS now, actually. 0.97

01:26:17.000 It really is kind of crazy if you think about how the timeline of people goes.

01:26:21.000 I mean, we can't imagine living back then.

01:26:25.000 Just unimaginable.

01:26:27.000 I can't put it in my head.

01:26:28.000 How long ago?

01:26:29.000 What is the exact thousand years ago that guy supposedly lived?

01:26:31.000 That one said 50,000.

01:26:34.000 I mean, who can wrap that up?

01:26:37.000 5,300 years ago.

01:26:39.000 Okay.

01:26:40.000 But the first man that they have DNA from was 275,000 years ago.

01:26:45.000 So he's from 5,000 years ago.

01:26:47.000 Just imagine...

01:26:47.000 5,300.

01:26:48.000 He's a kid.

01:26:49.000 Imagine 5,000 years ago, you'd just get dropped off.

01:26:52.000 And you gotta just exist.

01:26:55.000 Yeah, I mean like even imagine like language, right?

01:26:58.000 Yeah, even the primary language is like it still was secular like even if you Had to travel somewhere and you had some type of language that you kind of rooted with who you were with That didn't translate when you came across someone that you didn't know you go to Vietnam.

01:27:12.000 Good luck talking to people So was it just, I guess, like, you know, was it killing people on sight or did they kind of go by, like, body language?

01:27:20.000 I think people who traveled had to learn languages, for sure.

01:27:23.000 You probably had to have people help you or work with somebody from that.

01:27:28.000 But how many of them can you learn?

01:27:32.000 If you're living in somewhere in North America and you go to China in, like, the 1800s, like, how much communication can you do?

01:27:41.000 Like, Oh, did you see that new thing they're working on, the AI earpiece? 0.99

01:27:48.000 It's fucking nuts. 0.99

01:27:49.000 Is it Ted Talk about it? 0.99

01:27:51.000 So this guy, he's like, okay, this is an all-new thing that they're doing.

01:27:54.000 He's in a restaurant.

01:27:56.000 He goes, my friend's across the other end of the restaurant.

01:27:58.000 Did you see that?

01:27:59.000 Then he isolates his voice, and then he's speaking in Spanish, and they do real-time, not translation, His voice is reinterpreted in his voice in English as he speaks Spanish in real time.

01:28:11.000 Yeah.

01:28:11.000 And he's hearing this isolated from across the room.

01:28:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:15.000 That's fucked up. 1.00

01:28:16.000 It's crazy. 0.99

01:28:17.000 I mean, in one respect, you literally eliminate every single language barrier across Earth with this technology.

01:28:25.000 Yeah.

01:28:25.000 But in the other, you're Superman.

01:28:27.000 It can isolate a conversation.

01:28:30.000 I think it can only isolate that conversation if those people have those things on, too.

01:28:35.000 But why would anyone wear that?

01:28:38.000 Well, you would have to let someone use it.

01:28:41.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:28:42.000 Like, if you were talking to someone through that on the other side...

01:28:45.000 Am I wrong?

01:28:45.000 No, they weren't talking.

01:28:46.000 He was listening to his conversation.

01:28:48.000 He was just listening to...

01:28:49.000 I thought it was the people in the room having the conversation.

01:28:53.000 I thought they were doing it.

01:28:55.000 This guy was in the room with the earpiece on.

01:28:56.000 He's looking clear across the room at two people at a table talking, and he's just listening.

01:29:00.000 Oh, so he said isolate.

01:29:01.000 Oh, I misunderstood.

01:29:02.000 I thought when I saw the narrating that what they were saying, what he was saying was, you could do that if you were those two people.

01:29:09.000 You could isolate.

01:29:10.000 No.

01:29:11.000 Oh, you could just listen to them.

01:29:12.000 Yeah.

01:29:13.000 Oh.

01:29:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:29:14.000 Oh, that's fucking creepy. 0.99

01:29:16.000 But he wasn't pitching it. 0.98

01:29:17.000 This is a TED Talk, so it's like, I don't know what the technology...

01:29:20.000 Yeah.

01:29:24.000 Hey, can you enhance the sounds that are right in front of me?

01:29:28.000 How far away is he from them?

01:29:31.000 I think he says in the beginning they're across the room or something.

01:29:34.000 Oh, I guess he's...

01:29:35.000 And, uh, can you turn that baby down?

01:29:42.000 That's better.

01:29:42.000 And, you know, I'm still having a little trouble hearing Pedro.

01:29:44.000 Can you isolate Pedro for me?

01:29:46.000 No, he's on stage right now for the TED Talk, so he's not with them.

01:29:51.000 That's perfect.

01:29:52.000 And, you know, my Spanish is a little rusty.

01:29:54.000 Can I hear Pedro but in English?

01:29:59.000 And at the end of the trip, we came back to the city to visit the historic center.

01:30:04.000 That's insane.

01:30:07.000 Let it go?

01:30:09.000 I heard was a beamforming app, a computational auditory scene analysis app, a machine learning denoising app, an AI transcription and translation and text-to-speech with style transfer app.

01:30:20.000 So these are not just fancy-looking earbuds.

01:30:23.000 They're an entire computer.

01:30:25.000 And we think they're going to replace some of what we do with the visual computers that we're used to.

01:30:31.000 Well, it cuts off right there.

01:30:32.000 Here's the thing, though.

01:30:33.000 What was he watching?

01:30:35.000 Was he watching a video of people talking and then do that?

01:30:38.000 Because that makes more sense.

01:30:39.000 I don't think he's actually eavesdropping on people across the room.

01:30:43.000 I think what he's doing is watching a video of people having a conversation and tuning in to those people and taking all the outside noise out and then translating those people in that video in real time.

01:30:55.000 Was he watching a video of those people?

01:30:57.000 I think he's watching a video.

01:30:58.000 Okay.

01:30:59.000 Which makes more sense.

01:31:00.000 Okay.

01:31:01.000 Is that right?

01:31:01.000 No.

01:31:01.000 Am I right?

01:31:02.000 Well, the problem is that they're showing something that probably doesn't work that way also. 0.50

01:31:07.000 They're bullshitting.

01:31:08.000 A little bit.

01:31:08.000 But when they're showing it, he's watching a video though, right?

01:31:13.000 I'm trying to show you what they were doing.

01:31:15.000 Because he's on stage.

01:31:16.000 Yeah, he's on stage.

01:31:17.000 It's not like it just happens to be a cafe in the room where no one's noticing.

01:31:22.000 Correct.

01:31:22.000 But that's part of why it's just a weird tech demo of showing you don't really know what they were doing and how much work was set up to do that specific, like, did it just translate the sentence they wanted it to translate?

01:31:33.000 And was it all planned in advance?

01:31:35.000 And then they show, like, they did do a setup here, so I'll let him explain what they did.

01:31:39.000 Thanks, R. It's actually impossible to demonstrate this experience until you hear it with your ears yourself.

01:31:47.000 But to give you an idea, we have tried to simulate it for you.

01:31:51.000 Oh, okay.

01:31:52.000 So, imagine that you're sitting in a noisy restaurant.

01:31:54.000 Oh, okay.

01:31:55.000 Okay.

01:31:56.000 So it doesn't...

01:31:57.000 But it's going to be able to do that.

01:31:59.000 Yeah.

01:31:59.000 But it's going to be able to do that.

01:32:00.000 If he's doing a TED talk on it and they're getting this far along with it, unless he's like, what's that crazy lady, Elizabeth, what's her name?

01:32:08.000 What's her name again?

01:32:11.000 Elizabeth Theranos.

01:32:12.000 Theranos.

01:32:13.000 Yeah.

01:32:13.000 But what was her last name?

01:32:15.000 The crazy lady from San Francisco with the blood company.

01:32:19.000 You know the story?

01:32:20.000 Theranos.

01:32:21.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:32:22.000 Blood testing company that just was straight bullshit. 1.00

01:32:25.000 It was a trial, right? 1.00

01:32:26.000 Elizabeth Holmes.

01:32:27.000 Oh, yeah, she's just lost.

01:32:28.000 Yeah, I mean, the story behind it is crazy.

01:32:31.000 It's like some people were testing them and they're like, hey, this doesn't work.

01:32:34.000 Get out of here.

01:32:35.000 Wow.

01:32:36.000 It was just this wild scam.

01:32:39.000 I have my DNA saved.

01:32:41.000 DNA and sperm.

01:32:43.000 Yeah?

01:32:43.000 Yeah.

01:32:45.000 I had the option.

01:32:47.000 I was like, let me do it.

01:32:47.000 You might as well.

01:32:48.000 You got all the way from the Iceman to today.

01:32:50.000 It'd be a shame if we lost you.

01:32:52.000 You know, if it died here, if that's it.

01:32:55.000 Did you hear about the cryogenic people?

01:32:57.000 You know how they started cryogenically freezing people a long time ago?

01:33:00.000 Yeah, they actually thawed out.

01:33:01.000 Yeah, some of them, it didn't work.

01:33:03.000 No!

01:33:04.000 The one headline was they were scraping goo off the bottom.

01:33:08.000 No!

01:33:09.000 Yeah, whoops.

01:33:09.000 Oh, wow.

01:33:10.000 Yeah, if the power goes out and you thaw out, that's a wrap. 1.00

01:33:14.000 That shit's fascinating. 0.98

01:33:15.000 Isn't it only like one company or something that's doing that? 1.00

01:33:18.000 Imagine if you're in heaven, okay?

01:33:20.000 Yeah.

01:33:20.000 And you died, you went to heaven, and you're like, God, I'm free of all my earthly pulls, and I just feel one connected, and all of a sudden, shoot!

01:33:30.000 You get sucked back to life again. 1.00

01:33:31.000 And they're stitching your fucking head on this new body. 1.00

01:33:36.000 And you're alive now, but you're paralyzed. 1.00

01:33:39.000 But with new technology, they can keep you alive forever.

01:33:42.000 You're like, no!

01:33:44.000 And what year is it?

01:33:46.000 Congratulations, Walt Disney's back!

01:33:49.000 No!

01:33:50.000 Imagine if you were in heaven.

01:33:52.000 But imagine if during the process of reattaching your head it made your mouth paralyzed so you couldn't even talk.

01:34:00.000 Hell.

01:34:01.000 That's hell. 1.00

01:34:02.000 It's like the fucking movie where they eat each other's toe to each other's ass. 1.00

01:34:05.000 Could you imagine? 1.00

01:34:06.000 If you're dead for like a hundred years, and a hundred years of heaven, this is so much nicer than being alive.

01:34:12.000 Oh my god, everyone's just, there's no arguments.

01:34:14.000 It's just love, beauty, and just the expression of love and geometric patterns, and it flows through you, and we all bathe in it.

01:34:23.000 No one needs to eat, no one needs to sleep.

01:34:25.000 I've arrived.

01:34:26.000 It's just love, and then all of a sudden, like a funnel.

01:34:31.000 Clear! 1.00

01:34:32.000 Sucking you back down. 1.00

01:34:35.000 They're just stitching your fucking head. 1.00

01:34:40.000 You can't talk because your mouth's paralyzed. 1.00

01:34:42.000 Yeah, and they pay for that.

01:34:45.000 A lot of money, too, probably.

01:34:46.000 Also, I think it's more money if you want the whole body.

01:34:48.000 The one thing I was thinking is, let's just say, right, it works one day the way that they thought it would work.

01:34:54.000 What are you coming back to?

01:34:56.000 Everybody that didn't do it is dead.

01:34:57.000 You know no one.

01:34:58.000 You probably are not going to be able to adjust to whatever society they're in now.

01:35:02.000 Who knows how people would treat you?

01:35:04.000 You're really signing up for something.

01:35:06.000 It's like, what are you signing up for?

01:35:08.000 I think they're signing up for the hope that if they do get reincarnated, it's like Space 2001. Like, you get reincarnated to this crazy futuristic world where they could, shh, welcome back, welcome back.

01:35:25.000 How was your trip, sir?

01:35:26.000 You think they're trying to preserve consciousness?

01:35:28.000 Their consciousness?

01:35:29.000 I don't know what consciousness is, really.

01:35:31.000 Here's the question.

01:35:32.000 I mean, I know I'm conscious.

01:35:34.000 I know you can have this conversation.

01:35:35.000 I think, therefore, I am.

01:35:37.000 I get it.

01:35:38.000 I don't know if consciousness is something the brain tunes into or whether the brain is conscious.

01:35:45.000 I know if you damage parts of the brain, It damages parts of your consciousness and damages different things that you can do.

01:35:53.000 And they're pretty clear on what parts of the brain are responsible for different things.

01:35:59.000 But I'm not sure that consciousness is something as simple as neurons firing And your brain interfacing with the world and using all its senses.

01:36:12.000 I have a feeling that we might be short-sighted because we can't...

01:36:16.000 And again, this is not scientifically provable, so you have to be just speculative about something like this.

01:36:21.000 But I have a feeling there's probably quite a few things that we're not totally in tune with to the point where we can measure them.

01:36:28.000 And I think consciousness might be one of those things.

01:36:31.000 And I also think we are all weirdly connected in some strange consciousness web, some strange net of human beings.

01:36:43.000 I think we're all connected, all of us.

01:36:45.000 It's just the further those people are away, the less you feel that connection.

01:36:49.000 But I think we're all oddly connected already.

01:36:53.000 Before we get to, like, the cell phones in your head and everybody being telepathic, I think we're already oddly connected.

01:37:00.000 We just don't necessarily feel it all the time.

01:37:03.000 Yeah.

01:37:03.000 I hope it's something.

01:37:04.000 I mean, I really do.

01:37:06.000 Did you ever have a moment where you think, I might die?

01:37:10.000 Like, did I ever come across, like, did you ever have that feeling?

01:37:12.000 I was a kid when I was like 14 me and a few friends were playing around in this place where they stored these like enormous concrete Like sewer pipes like these big fucking pipes and there was this This giant metal thing that I guess it was a part of what they would attach to a crane so they could move these things. 0.64

01:37:40.000 And it slipped and hit me in the head.

01:37:44.000 And I didn't go unconscious, but I grayed out, like, grayed out.

01:37:49.000 And my head was pouring blood.

01:37:51.000 I still have a big ding on the side of my head from it.

01:37:54.000 And I went to the hospital, and, like, I thought I was gonna die.

01:37:58.000 I did think I was gonna die at that point.

01:38:00.000 But I was also 14, so I was probably just freaked out by the fact that I got hit.

01:38:04.000 You know, like, this thing hit my head.

01:38:06.000 And it only fell, like, a certain amount because there was other concrete things in the way, so it banged me in the head, and it didn't fall on me, luckily.

01:38:14.000 But you're like, in the hospital, like thinking, you had the feeling like, I got hit so hard.

01:38:19.000 It hit me so hard.

01:38:20.000 It was so big.

01:38:21.000 I was like, this could be a real problem.

01:38:24.000 This could be a real, I was like, I could be dead right now, for sure.

01:38:27.000 So you haven't, those thoughts are running through your mind.

01:38:29.000 Yeah.

01:38:30.000 I was okay.

01:38:31.000 I went to the hospital.

01:38:32.000 I'm sure I had some sort of a concussion.

01:38:35.000 They treated me.

01:38:36.000 I forget what they did.

01:38:37.000 But then they just let me go home.

01:38:39.000 You know, and I was just they were like, oh, he's okay.

01:38:42.000 Because I don't think they understood head trauma back then.

01:38:45.000 I don't think people really got it.

01:38:47.000 And I don't remember really suffering any like serious consequences of it.

01:38:51.000 I was never like I never had a problem like looking at the light.

01:38:55.000 I never had a problem with loud noises or anything like that.

01:38:58.000 Yeah.

01:38:59.000 But it was spooky.

01:39:01.000 That's probably the closest I've ever come to just really worrying about being dead.

01:39:07.000 I had one, but it was on a plane.

01:39:11.000 Yeah, it was bad.

01:39:12.000 To this day, if I think about it, I actually will have a little bit of an anxiety attack.

01:39:17.000 It was a small plane.

01:39:19.000 We had to do a show in the middle of nowhere on the road, and they offered a plane.

01:39:24.000 So we took it, and we were flying back home.

01:39:29.000 And it was like an eight-seat plane.

01:39:31.000 Whatever it was.

01:39:32.000 And I don't like flying at all anyway.

01:39:35.000 People are like, oh cool, you got to do that.

01:39:36.000 I'm like, yeah.

01:39:37.000 I mean, you see everything.

01:39:39.000 There's no door in the cockpit.

01:39:41.000 You see all the motion.

01:39:43.000 You know what I mean?

01:39:44.000 It's just like, this feels unsafe.

01:39:46.000 It feels like I'm flying in a toy airplane.

01:39:48.000 You know what I mean?

01:39:48.000 Any gust of wind, that's normal.

01:39:51.000 We kind of glide with it.

01:39:52.000 And it's like, I don't want to feel like we're up there surfing.

01:39:55.000 You know what I mean?

01:39:56.000 And we were going to land, and we're just bullshitting with the guys, my friends, and we're talking, and the guy, right before we land, he starts to go back up again.

01:40:06.000 And I look at them and I go, what just happened there?

01:40:08.000 Like, why are we going back up?

01:40:10.000 And the guy, the co-pilot comes back and goes, guys, we have a little bit of a situation.

01:40:16.000 And he goes, what?

01:40:16.000 He goes, so we were about to land just now.

01:40:18.000 You might have noticed.

01:40:19.000 Like, yeah.

01:40:19.000 He goes, well, we were talking to air traffic control and our panel up here is saying that one of the wheels is not coming down.

01:40:30.000 The left wheel or whatever.

01:40:31.000 And so what we're going to do is, it could be a broken, the panel's broken, and it could actually be down.

01:40:36.000 We don't know.

01:40:37.000 So we're going to go fly around again, and we're going to ask them to look again just to make sure.

01:40:41.000 He's like, so it'll just be a couple of minutes.

01:40:42.000 So we made this big turn, and we go down to land again.

01:40:46.000 And again, we're getting down to like low, low, low.

01:40:48.000 They pull back up.

01:40:49.000 He comes back out. 1.00

01:40:50.000 This is what this motherfucker says. 1.00

01:40:52.000 He says, okay, so they can't tell. 1.00

01:40:55.000 It was at night.

01:40:57.000 I don't know.

01:40:57.000 We're a small plane.

01:40:58.000 Maybe it's like a bullshit airport. 0.99

01:41:00.000 He goes, so they can't tell. 1.00

01:41:01.000 This is what he says.

01:41:02.000 He goes, but we don't have enough fuel to get anywhere else.

01:41:08.000 So we're going to go around a third time, and this time we're going to land the plane, no matter what.

01:41:14.000 So, I'm looking at him.

01:41:15.000 I immediately just start crying.

01:41:17.000 I'm like, not crying like, but like, I'm just welling up with tears.

01:41:19.000 Like, I'm going to die.

01:41:20.000 My biggest, one of my biggest fears is dying in a plane crash.

01:41:24.000 I just, I don't even like to think about it because I don't even want to put it out there. 0.99

01:41:27.000 And I'm like, oh my fucking God. 0.98

01:41:29.000 And I'm like, what's going to happen? 0.99

01:41:31.000 And he goes, in all seriousness, he goes, don't worry.

01:41:35.000 If the wheel doesn't come down or if it isn't down, the wing will act like a wheel.

01:41:41.000 That's what he said to us.

01:41:42.000 Because the wing is made to kind of act like a wheel.

01:41:46.000 It didn't give me any comfort in the moment.

01:41:47.000 It does.

01:41:48.000 It slows down the plane.

01:41:49.000 Yeah, but we're still spinning out and sparks flying.

01:41:53.000 It's a little plane, you know what I mean?

01:41:54.000 It's not good.

01:41:55.000 Yeah, and...

01:41:56.000 Oh, actually, no.

01:41:58.000 Nighttime was the same exact trip there and back.

01:42:01.000 The nighttime trip, it was like a storm and we were flying all over.

01:42:04.000 This was the daytime because they had fire trucks and ambulances lining on the thing.

01:42:09.000 Because by the time the third time we went around, they were there.

01:42:11.000 So they were waiting.

01:42:13.000 So that's another scary thing.

01:42:14.000 I actually took out my phone and I wrote a text to my entire family.

01:42:18.000 I saved the text.

01:42:19.000 I'm just like, there's a problem with the wheel.

01:42:21.000 I don't know exactly what's going to happen.

01:42:22.000 I'm literally like, I love you.

01:42:24.000 How did you send that?

01:42:25.000 Do you send that as you hit?

01:42:27.000 I literally wrote it in full as I was crying.

01:42:30.000 I wrote it in full as I was crying, and I had it open with my hand right on the thing. 1.00

01:42:36.000 Oh, fuck, dude. 0.99

01:42:37.000 So I was just going to wait, and I felt like I could just hit it. 0.99

01:42:40.000 I have the text that I see.

01:42:42.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:42:43.000 And my friend's such a fucking asshole. 1.00

01:42:47.000 Everyone's really nervous, but I think I'm showing it the most. 1.00

01:42:49.000 My buddy's a nutcase. 0.73

01:42:50.000 So he looks at me and he goes... 0.93

01:42:53.000 He's trying to calm me down, you know?

01:42:55.000 And he goes, just calm down, calm down, calm down.

01:42:57.000 And I'm like, alright, he goes, just relax.

01:42:58.000 And then he starts going... 0.99

01:43:01.000 And he starts singing fucking La Bamba. 1.00

01:43:03.000 Oh no. 0.99

01:43:03.000 And it breaks the tension and everything. 0.99

01:43:05.000 And I'm like, dude, and I'm crying and laughing so hard.

01:43:07.000 Because when you're in that heightened state of emotion, dude, I'm laughing as hard as I'm crying.

01:43:12.000 Now I'm like, I'm laughing so hard, I can't breathe, I can't tell him to stop doing it.

01:43:16.000 Because I need to be focused right now on the end of my possible life.

01:43:19.000 And I'm holding my thing and I'm laughing, I'm crying.

01:43:22.000 And then he goes, hold on, let me call my wife.

01:43:23.000 And he goes, Hello, baby! 0.99

01:43:25.000 Because the big popper fucking died for Richie Valens. 0.99

01:43:28.000 So he goes, hello, baby! 0.99

01:43:31.000 And I am literally can't breathe.

01:43:33.000 And I'm holding my stuff.

01:43:34.000 He's like, will I? What?

01:43:36.000 And then I'm just like, dude, I'm begging him, please stop.

01:43:39.000 I'm like laughing and crying.

01:43:40.000 Please stop, Joe.

01:43:42.000 And then we went to land and the wheel was out.

01:43:47.000 The wheel was out, man.

01:43:49.000 Man, we got out of the plane, and everybody was in good spirits, and I was still in that place.

01:43:57.000 And the fireman came over. 0.99

01:43:58.000 The first thing that happened was the fire guy opened the door and looked at me and goes, oh shit! 0.99

01:44:03.000 He goes, can I get a picture? 0.99

01:44:06.000 We get out of the plane, and it's the four of us and him take a picture.

01:44:10.000 I have the picture.

01:44:11.000 Everyone's smiling.

01:44:12.000 I'm on the end like this.

01:44:13.000 Just pale white.

01:44:14.000 No smile.

01:44:14.000 Just like...

01:44:15.000 Oh, no.

01:44:16.000 Yeah, I couldn't even turn it on for the picture.

01:44:19.000 Oh, no.

01:44:19.000 It was my biggest fear coming true.

01:44:22.000 You go there.

01:44:23.000 You literally go there.

01:44:24.000 That's what I was saying.

01:44:25.000 I was thinking this Could be how I die right now. 1.00

01:44:31.000 Ah man, where it takes you is nuts in your head.

01:44:35.000 Have you seen this new plane that they've developed that doesn't have wings?

01:44:39.000 And it's going to be able to fly to London from New York City like super quick.

01:44:45.000 Like way, way faster.

01:44:46.000 Like less than half the time.

01:44:47.000 UFO? It looks like a spaceship, man.

01:44:50.000 And apparently it's got, because it doesn't have a traditional shape, there's a lot more room inside of it. 0.95

01:44:55.000 So it's fucking huge. 0.96

01:44:56.000 What? 0.99

01:44:57.000 Yeah.

01:44:57.000 What's the technology?

01:44:58.000 I don't know.

01:44:59.000 I was just looking at some article about it, and it's a new supersonic craft that looks like...

01:45:07.000 It looks like a giant arrowhead or something.

01:45:11.000 Okay.

01:45:11.000 It doesn't look like a regular plane.

01:45:13.000 That's what it looks like.

01:45:14.000 Oh, like a...

01:45:15.000 That's it right there?

01:45:16.000 Oh, that's not it, dude.

01:45:17.000 You fly from New York in 3.5 hours in this new supersonic jet.

01:45:21.000 Can I see what the images look like, though?

01:45:23.000 Oh, so this is going to be commercially marketed?

01:45:26.000 I thought it was like military.

01:45:27.000 That one seems like it.

01:45:28.000 That seemed like a military jet.

01:45:29.000 The one that I saw looked like that thing.

01:45:31.000 That's it.

01:45:32.000 That's it.

01:45:33.000 90 minutes. 1.00

01:45:34.000 Look at that fucking thing, bro. 1.00

01:45:35.000 Oh, that's ridiculous. 1.00

01:45:36.000 Look at that thing. 0.99

01:45:38.000 Is that the same thing?

01:45:40.000 Yeah.

01:45:40.000 Okay.

01:45:42.000 That's just a view from the top, so you can see it doesn't have a regular wing.

01:45:45.000 It just has this crazy, immense space in the back, and you're gonna have room to stretch out.

01:45:54.000 They'll just stuff it with humans. 1.00

01:45:57.000 But probably not, because it's probably going to be super expensive.

01:45:59.000 That's only got room for one person.

01:46:01.000 That can't be the same thing, is it?

01:46:03.000 A passenger one?

01:46:04.000 It's an expensive ticket.

01:46:05.000 They was talking about one that could seat passengers.

01:46:08.000 It says commercial routes, but...

01:46:09.000 Hmm.

01:46:10.000 There's like one dude.

01:46:12.000 No, but I think there's one that they were working on.

01:46:15.000 Maybe I'm conflating two different stories, but there's one jet that they're working on that does not have wings.

01:46:21.000 And they were talking about it being able to have more space inside of it because of that.

01:46:27.000 Who's going on that?

01:46:29.000 Once it's approved, there's the first commercial flight.

01:46:33.000 There it is.

01:46:34.000 That's it.

01:46:34.000 That's the thing.

01:46:35.000 Look at that fucking thing, bro. 1.00

01:46:36.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:46:37.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:46:37.000 That looks like a UFO. Wingless supersonic jet could transport passengers from London to New York in less than five hours. 0.92

01:46:44.000 How long does it take now?

01:46:44.000 Wait, what?

01:46:45.000 I don't know.

01:46:46.000 It's like six hours.

01:46:47.000 Yeah, it's not much faster.

01:46:48.000 That's an hour faster, but you get to fly in a spaceship.

01:46:50.000 That's not fast at all.

01:46:51.000 An hour faster?

01:46:52.000 That's crazy.

01:46:53.000 But it's supersonic?

01:46:54.000 And it doesn't fit in the airport.

01:46:57.000 I'll just book an early flight.

01:46:58.000 Bro, how dope is that?

01:47:00.000 Look, futuristic spaceship-like aircraft capable of transporting 300 passengers at speeds of up to 1,150 miles an hour.

01:47:10.000 Oh, wow.

01:47:11.000 That's faster.

01:47:11.000 Yeah, so it's double the speed of a regular jet.

01:47:15.000 Even more, right?

01:47:16.000 A little bit more.

01:47:17.000 Yeah.

01:47:17.000 Look how dope it looks, though.

01:47:20.000 Bedrooms, bathroom suites.

01:47:22.000 Yeah, see so the inside of it is so different because it doesn't have that tube that it's got like space.

01:47:28.000 Yeah, but how are we how are we commercializing that like that cabin is gonna be comfortable?

01:47:34.000 You're not gonna feel 1100 miles an hour?

01:47:36.000 I guess not.

01:47:37.000 I mean we don't feel five six hundred.

01:47:38.000 Well once you're up Once you're up and moving, what you feel is the resistance of getting off the ground, right?

01:47:45.000 You feel like this pull.

01:47:47.000 And then once you level out in whatever the height that you're going to achieve is, whatever the altitude is, it doesn't feel like you're moving at all.

01:47:55.000 And you're going 500 miles an hour.

01:47:57.000 Is it made by a designer?

01:47:58.000 It's just that it's a concept.

01:47:59.000 I don't know.

01:48:00.000 It's just like...

01:48:00.000 Private rooms for two travelers with a bedroom, living room, and an in-suite shower room.

01:48:05.000 And the living room will find a leather double-seat sofa complete with dining tables, a 32-inch flat-screen TV, noise-canceling headsets, a comfortable double bed, a full-height shower, vanity unit bathrobes, and an in-flight chef at your service.

01:48:19.000 I gotta tell you, the flat screen TV, it really gets more credit than it is.

01:48:25.000 That's a jet that goes 1,200 miles an hour.

01:48:28.000 It's a home in the air that goes 1,200 miles an hour.

01:48:32.000 It boasts a 32-inch flat screen TV. When was the last time you saw a screen that was a bubble?

01:48:39.000 Can we stop saying flat screen?

01:48:41.000 It's like the thing is, who is it for?

01:48:43.000 Who can purchase that ticket?

01:48:45.000 And you're like, one of the things I'm dangling in front of you is a 32-inch flat screen television.

01:48:50.000 It says right here, nobody has shown interest in building the Sky OV Evo yet, but Oscar said he is offering his expertise to engineers, helping them in other projects.

01:48:59.000 So this is just an idea.

01:49:01.000 Bro, you can just get a hold of them Saudi Arabian dudes. 0.75

01:49:05.000 That's it though.

01:49:06.000 Those guys with all that loot, they might go, hey, how much to make it work?

01:49:11.000 I like a guy who's like, how much is like, alright, it's two billion.

01:49:15.000 He's like, alright, you throw in the 32-inch flat screen, you've got to deal with it.

01:49:20.000 I want a bathrobe.

01:49:21.000 I can't do it.

01:49:22.000 My hands are tied.

01:49:24.000 Let me go talk to my manager.

01:49:25.000 Let me go talk to my manager.

01:49:27.000 We never do this.

01:49:32.000 But it's December to remember, and you gotta, you know. 0.96

01:49:34.000 Yeah, it's our fucking, I tell you what, it's the end of the month, it's the sales push. 0.96

01:49:38.000 He's gonna let it go. 1.00

01:49:40.000 He's gonna give you the flat screen with your fucking spaceship. 0.99

01:49:42.000 Saudi wife walks outside her house on Christmas, there's one in the driver with a bow on it. 1.00

01:49:46.000 Yeah, they'd probably be like, this Stevie's bullshit. 1.00

01:49:48.000 Look how small. 1.00

01:49:49.000 Look at the revolution.

01:49:51.000 Just get through this.

01:49:53.000 I want a big one.

01:49:54.000 32 inch flat.

01:49:55.000 Just say flat screen.

01:49:57.000 That is not that big.

01:49:58.000 Yeah, why not?

01:49:58.000 Just say flat.

01:49:59.000 Why not put it's 85?

01:50:00.000 There's like a hundred.

01:50:01.000 Why even flat screen?

01:50:02.000 Why say that?

01:50:03.000 Yeah.

01:50:04.000 Doesn't everybody know?

01:50:07.000 They say, hey, your car comes with four round tires.

01:50:11.000 Oh, round tires.

01:50:12.000 Oh, it's a flat screen.

01:50:13.000 They're round tires.

01:50:14.000 Hey, what kind of tires do you have?

01:50:17.000 Does everybody have round tires?

01:50:18.000 Why do they keep calling them round tires?

01:50:20.000 Another super fun flight thing would be 12 rows of 33 people each.

01:50:24.000 Imagine being in the middle.

01:50:25.000 Oh, God, if you have to piss.

01:50:27.000 Oh, my God.

01:50:28.000 You didn't get a bedroom seat? 0.58

01:50:29.000 Oh, my God.

01:50:30.000 What were the other things they boasted about?

01:50:32.000 I just think it's a period.

01:50:33.000 A shower, a TV, 32-inch flat-screen TV, noise-canceling headsets so you can't hear the other people in the poor section scream.

01:50:41.000 A double-seat sofa, what? 0.88

01:50:43.000 Imagine someone fucking going ballistic while you're going 1,000 miles an hour, because people go ballistic on planes now. 0.99

01:50:48.000 It's kind of a new thing. 0.99

01:50:49.000 They go crazy, see aliens, they start screaming, they're gonna take the plane out.

01:50:54.000 Like, it happens. 1.00

01:50:54.000 It seems like once a month there's some new video of some guy going bonkers on a fucking plane. 1.00

01:50:58.000 Some guy just ripped all his clothes off and ran up and down the aisles. 0.99

01:51:00.000 They had to land.

01:51:01.000 I just saw that.

01:51:03.000 Oh, God. 0.99

01:51:04.000 Imagine the fear that you would have if you were on a plane and you saw some guy going bonkers and you're like, God damn it. 1.00

01:51:12.000 The anxiety you would have, like, fuck. 1.00

01:51:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:51:16.000 As soon as you hear it start, you're like, what's this gonna be?

01:51:20.000 What is this gonna be?

01:51:21.000 What if it's like a new disease?

01:51:22.000 What if it's like that?

01:51:24.000 Did you ever see that movie 28 Days Later?

01:51:26.000 Yeah.

01:51:27.000 When they shot the chimps up with this thing called Rage.

01:51:29.000 Yeah, Rage. 1.00

01:51:30.000 The chimps gets out and gets that dude and then the fucking... 0.99

01:51:33.000 Was that the first zombie movie that they were super fast? 0.99

01:51:36.000 Yeah, that was the best.

01:51:37.000 Cillian Murphy?

01:51:38.000 Yeah, that, in my opinion, is the best zombie movie.

01:51:42.000 I saw that two days in a row.

01:51:43.000 It's one of like five movies I've seen two days in a row.

01:51:46.000 The second one's good, too.

01:51:47.000 I went to it opening night because I was like, this is amazing, and I didn't like it as much.

01:51:53.000 Well, the first one was so revolutionary. 0.99

01:51:55.000 And it was a different concept, like a man-created zombie virus that just infects everyone immediately, instantly, turns you into a fucking monster. 0.98

01:52:06.000 But the thing is, that virus is kind of like what rabies is. 0.99

01:52:12.000 Rabies isn't as effective because it doesn't turn you into a screaming, running maniac trying to bite people.

01:52:18.000 But the reason why animals with rabies bite you, they have no fear of you and they bite you to give you rabies.

01:52:23.000 They're trying to give it to you.

01:52:25.000 Really?

01:52:26.000 Yeah!

01:52:26.000 You're saying that something in the composition of rabies elicits the need to pass it on?

01:52:35.000 100%.

01:52:35.000 How does that...

01:52:37.000 I can't compute that.

01:52:39.000 There's a lot of examples in nature of viruses and parasites tricking organisms into doing things that are not in their best interest.

01:52:50.000 And I think a virus could easily find a way to hijack the way an animal's mind works and to force it to be aggressive if it wanted to be transmitted a lot.

01:53:03.000 That's the only reason why it would make sense that they would want to be, because if they're so aggressive, they could risk death.

01:53:08.000 Like, an animal being recklessly aggressive is not good for its longevity, right?

01:53:12.000 Because you could be recklessly aggressive with a wolf or something that could kill you, and you run up on it, it just eats you.

01:53:17.000 But if you could bite it first...

01:53:20.000 Then you can give it rabies, and then that thing's gonna bite a bunch of other things, especially if it's big enough to kill you. 0.54

01:53:25.000 Now it can bite everything.

01:53:27.000 There was a bunch of travelers that went across the country during the Lewis and Clark expedition, and a couple of them, I believe, got rabies.

01:53:34.000 I think more than one of them Got raped.

01:53:37.000 See if we can find that. 1.00

01:53:38.000 It kills everybody.

01:53:40.000 I know they have rabies shot, but without the shot, is that certain death?

01:53:46.000 Yeah.

01:53:46.000 It's like 99 point something percent certain death.

01:53:50.000 There's a few people that have survived now.

01:53:52.000 They've figured out a way to put people into medically induced comas. 0.91

01:53:56.000 And the problem is, this is obviously coming from someone who doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about, but what I understand is it's a very, very old virus. 0.96

01:54:05.000 And a dangerous one. 0.97

01:54:07.000 Because what it does is it works faster than your immune system can fight it off.

01:54:13.000 And so your immune system is fighting off rabies, but it can't win.

01:54:17.000 Rabies just hijacks everything and makes its way through.

01:54:21.000 And by putting someone in a medically induced coma, they found a way to reach equilibrium, where the resources of the person's body are not being required anymore, and the immune system can fight off the rabies.

01:54:33.000 And with medication, they were able to do it.

01:54:35.000 But they also, like, can get you, if you just got bit.

01:54:39.000 Yeah, how much time do you have?

01:54:40.000 You have, like, very little time.

01:54:42.000 Oh, really?

01:54:42.000 But you have, like, hours.

01:54:43.000 Oh shit, I didn't know that. 0.99

01:54:43.000 You gotta get to the hospital quickly. 0.99

01:54:45.000 I didn't know that.

01:54:46.000 And they'll test, and hopefully if you have the animal that killed you, they want to test the animal, but they'll give you these shots that are apparently brutally painful.

01:54:55.000 I think they go into your stomach.

01:54:58.000 What did I ask you to Google right before that?

01:55:02.000 The Lewis and Clark thing, but I didn't see that.

01:55:05.000 So I'm now digging up, maybe it's another traveler, but...

01:55:08.000 The Lewis and Clark thing?

01:55:09.000 You didn't hear about a guy getting rabies?

01:55:10.000 I didn't see anything with that on my quick search.

01:55:12.000 It might have been another one of the dudes making it across the country stories, which I've read a lot of. 0.99

01:55:18.000 They're fucking terrifying. 0.95

01:55:19.000 Those days were terrifying. 0.99

01:55:21.000 But it's just like a virus like that that wants to be transmitted and it tricks the animal to being aggressive.

01:55:29.000 That's one of the weirder things about viruses.

01:55:31.000 They're so sneaky in how they evolve.

01:55:34.000 Yeah.

01:55:35.000 Like these new COVID strains.

01:55:36.000 They realize the best thing to do is be like super transmissible, but not that bad.

01:55:40.000 Right.

01:55:40.000 That way you stay alive.

01:55:42.000 Right, right, right.

01:55:42.000 You don't kill the host, you know?

01:55:45.000 And like there's so many instances in nature of things like tricking things into doing stuff, you know, like parasites that take over an animal's body and force it to do stuff.

01:55:57.000 Yeah.

01:56:00.000 Bleak.

01:56:00.000 It's weird.

01:56:01.000 The weirdest one is, we were talking about this the other day, grasshoppers that get this aquatic worm.

01:56:07.000 This aquatic worm climbs inside of it, hijacks its brain, and when it's ready to give birth, tricks the grasshopper into drowning itself so that it could be born. 0.98

01:56:15.000 So it just takes over the grasshopper's brain and then leaps into the fucking water so it can be born. 0.98

01:56:22.000 And so the grasshopper just drowns and it just slithers out of the grasshopper's body. 0.99

01:56:26.000 That's wild!

01:56:27.000 Yeah.

01:56:27.000 That's wild!

01:56:28.000 Tricks it into committing suicide.

01:56:30.000 What's the evolution of that?

01:56:32.000 Exactly!

01:56:33.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:56:33.000 How the fuck? 0.99

01:56:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:56:35.000 And how is it so common? 0.99

01:56:37.000 It's so insanely common, apparently.

01:56:39.000 That's wild.

01:56:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:56:41.000 That's fucking wild. 1.00

01:56:42.000 So grasshoppers, they have a number one look out for this fucking thing? 1.00

01:56:46.000 I think they just have it. 1.00

01:56:48.000 I think a lot of them have it.

01:56:49.000 I think they've done studies on grasshoppers, and I think they've done this on praying mantises, too, but a lot of them have these worms in their bodies.

01:56:58.000 How often do you see a grasshopper?

01:57:00.000 All the time.

01:57:00.000 You do?

01:57:01.000 Yeah.

01:57:01.000 Well, man, I haven't seen one in years.

01:57:03.000 Where are you living?

01:57:04.000 I live in New York.

01:57:06.000 What do you expect?

01:57:08.000 Yeah, I know, but...

01:57:09.000 You gotta go where grasshoppers live.

01:57:10.000 They don't come visit.

01:57:11.000 But where do they live?

01:57:12.000 Is it just grass?

01:57:13.000 I mean, they live in open fields.

01:57:15.000 I mean, I encounter grass.

01:57:17.000 You know what I mean?

01:57:18.000 Like, I'm not gonna see one in the neighborhood?

01:57:20.000 No.

01:57:20.000 A residential neighborhood?

01:57:21.000 That's what I've seen in the past.

01:57:23.000 I haven't been in...

01:57:23.000 I guess there's probably a few.

01:57:25.000 I bet you I've seen less than 10 grasshoppers in front of my face in my life.

01:57:29.000 Wow.

01:57:30.000 Yeah.

01:57:30.000 That's crazy.

01:57:31.000 I've seen a lot of them.

01:57:33.000 Dude, Praying Mantis, as you mentioned, I don't like them at all.

01:57:36.000 They freak me the fuck out. 0.95

01:57:37.000 One time I was getting gas, and there was one right on the thing, and it was a road trip. 0.98

01:57:42.000 My friends were going to D.C., and it was like in the middle of the night, and I'm getting gas.

01:57:45.000 My friend, it was back in the days when they had the handheld camcorders, and we're like, oh, look at that thing, and I'm like, dude, it's like right here.

01:57:51.000 And he goes, here, take the camcorder.

01:57:54.000 I'm going to get the guest.

01:57:54.000 I'm filming the thing.

01:57:55.000 And it just turns and lunges at me. 0.99

01:57:58.000 And it literally looks like that fucking, like, what's that movie? 0.99

01:58:03.000 Alien? 0.98

01:58:04.000 No, no, the movie with the person standing in the corner.

01:58:07.000 It was like that horror movie with a handheld camera.

01:58:09.000 Oh, Blair Witch? 0.95

01:58:10.000 Because when we watch the footage, you just hear me go, yeah!

01:58:14.000 Like, my voice got so high, and then the camera just drops, and it just goes to static.

01:58:19.000 But you see it lunge at me first.

01:58:22.000 Yeah, we're lucky they're little, huh?

01:58:23.000 What is that about, the ripping of the head off?

01:58:27.000 What do you mean? 0.98

01:58:28.000 The prey mantis, the female, rips the male's head off after they have sex. 1.00

01:58:31.000 Well, she's just a bitch. 1.00

01:58:32.000 Is that it? 1.00

01:58:33.000 That's a lot of it in the insect community.

01:58:36.000 No, is that true, right?

01:58:37.000 No, one of the worst ones is ants.

01:58:39.000 Some ants will take the male, and the females will take the male and cut all of his legs off and just drag them to the colony. 1.00

01:58:46.000 Really?

01:58:47.000 It's got its legs off.

01:58:48.000 Here's a fun one.

01:58:48.000 This is like a history of rabies, and I got to this part of the hair of the dog.

01:58:53.000 What is that? 0.98

01:58:53.000 And work your way back to get this, how they used to treat rabies before they understood what the fuck it was. 0.98

01:58:58.000 Oh, is that what that reference is from? 0.98

01:59:00.000 It was recommended to salt and eat the flesh of the offending dog.

01:59:05.000 Oh my god.

01:59:07.000 Another strategy included drowning a puppy of the same sex as a dog who had bitten the person and having a human victim eat the liver raw.

01:59:15.000 Wait, what?

01:59:16.000 What?

01:59:16.000 I lost what we're talking about here.

01:59:18.000 Rabies, rabies.

01:59:18.000 Had to get rid of it because they had no idea.

01:59:20.000 They knew that it was coming from canines.

01:59:21.000 They kind of got that. 0.99

01:59:22.000 So then you locate a puppy and just kill it?

01:59:25.000 What year was this, Jamie?

01:59:27.000 It doesn't say because it says where the book is coming from.

01:59:29.000 1982. We're in the middle of Romans, the Greeks.

01:59:34.000 Wow.

01:59:35.000 I wonder if the dog thing worked.

01:59:38.000 Like if you get some of the rabies virus through cooked meat.

01:59:42.000 Burning hair picked from the tail of the dog and inserting the ashes into the wound.

01:59:46.000 What?

01:59:47.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:59:48.000 This treatment lives on today.

01:59:50.000 Hair of the dog.

01:59:50.000 In a name and spirit with the hair of the dog.

01:59:52.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:59:54.000 Hangover cures, which calls for alleviating blood and alcohol-induced symptoms with more alcohol consumption.

02:00:00.000 We're learning. 0.99

02:00:00.000 Holy shit! 0.99

02:00:01.000 That's what the hair of the dog comes from? 1.00

02:00:03.000 That's wild.

02:00:04.000 That's crazy!

02:00:05.000 Did that work?

02:00:06.000 Why do you gotta salt it?

02:00:08.000 For taste. 1.00

02:00:08.000 It tastes like shit. 1.00

02:00:10.000 Do me a favor, you gotta just bite that thing, eat it, put some salt on it for taste, but you gotta get in here. 1.00

02:00:15.000 You gotta salt up the meat.

02:00:18.000 Do you think you...

02:00:19.000 Do you have salt on you?

02:00:22.000 But it's probably how they ate meat.

02:00:24.000 Preserve it or something?

02:00:25.000 Maybe.

02:00:26.000 I mean, maybe they thought salt was gonna kill something.

02:00:29.000 Salt it.

02:00:29.000 I mean, that's how they preserved stuff back then.

02:00:32.000 They'd cover meat with salt.

02:00:34.000 They'd cover everything.

02:00:35.000 They had wars over salt.

02:00:36.000 Salt was really important, and now they gave it away for free. 0.99

02:00:40.000 Imagine being someone from the salt war days and going into a restaurant like, what the fuck is this? 0.98

02:00:47.000 You got a whole jar of this? 1.00

02:00:49.000 Are you fucking insane? 1.00

02:00:51.000 What, you just twist it whenever you want? 1.00

02:00:53.000 Who the fuck is Salt Bae? 1.00

02:00:55.000 This fucking asshole! 1.00

02:00:58.000 What does he do with the salt? 1.00

02:01:00.000 Can you imagine how they would freak out if you took them to Salt Bay? 0.99

02:01:03.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

02:01:05.000 Especially if you get the state covered in gold. 1.00

02:01:07.000 Like, you fucking asshole! 1.00

02:01:10.000 If Salt Bay gets bit, he's like, ah! 1.00

02:01:13.000 How many villagers I had to slaughter to get that much gold? 1.00

02:01:16.000 What the fuck is wrong with you, you animal? 1.00

02:01:19.000 They lost the thread on how they got it. 1.00

02:01:21.000 This guy wrote a book, early 19th century, on causes of rabies.

02:01:25.000 There's an interesting one when you get to the fourth cause.

02:01:28.000 It says, the bite of a rabid animal was named first.

02:01:32.000 It was quickly followed up by a cold night air, eating beach nuts, a fall, and the involuntary association of ideas.

02:01:42.000 Can I ask some more of the weed that we were smoking?

02:01:44.000 Just because I need to understand that.

02:01:46.000 Yeah.

02:01:48.000 I don't know what that means.

02:01:50.000 This guy was smart and bright for his time, but it's like just proof that they didn't know what rabies was.

02:01:55.000 Thank you.

02:01:56.000 What does that mean?

02:01:56.000 So you don't know what it means either?

02:01:58.000 Involuntary association of ideas can cause rabies?

02:02:01.000 To give this guy credit, he is, I think, one of the first people to accurately describe it as a disease of the nervous system as opposed to blood-borne.

02:02:08.000 What do you think that means, an involuntary association of ideas?

02:02:12.000 What does that mean?

02:02:13.000 Isn't that just life?

02:02:15.000 Involuntary association.

02:02:17.000 Like someone could get some wild ideas in your head and those can cause rabies?

02:02:21.000 Is that what it means?

02:02:24.000 I'll type in rabies and see if anything comes up.

02:02:26.000 Did you want any of this?

02:02:27.000 Yeah, sure.

02:02:28.000 That seems so... 0.95

02:02:30.000 It seems so ridiculous. 0.95

02:02:35.000 I didn't really understand what the sentence meant. 0.94

02:02:38.000 What does that mean?

02:02:41.000 Clinical features of rabies patients with abnormal sexual behaviors as the presenting manifestations.

02:02:48.000 Abnormal sexual.

02:02:49.000 So the rabies wants to be transmitted sexually?

02:02:52.000 Yeah, what does abnormal sexual behavior mean?

02:02:55.000 A 32-year-old man with frequent ejaculation as the initial symptom of rabies was first reported. 0.99

02:03:00.000 Wow, I just fucking can't stop. 0.98

02:03:03.000 Won't stop. 0.97

02:03:04.000 I know a lot of guys with rabies, then.

02:03:07.000 Dental literature review was conducted using databases including CNKI, Sinomed, VIP, Wangfang, Data, Science, Direct, ProQuest, Ovid, and PubMed.

02:03:20.000 In addition to our case, 54 other rabies cases with abnormal sexual behaviors are the presenting manifestations ever reported since 1970. Among 55 cases, 51 were male.

02:03:31.000 Durr.

02:03:32.000 Wow.

02:03:32.000 And three were female.

02:03:34.000 Unknown gender for one case.

02:03:36.000 Oh, God.

02:03:37.000 Even back then?

02:03:39.000 With ages ranging from 6 to 71 years.

02:03:42.000 Wow.

02:03:43.000 All cases were reported in developing countries.

02:03:46.000 46 in China, dog bites were the major source of infection, and extremities were the main exposure sites.

02:03:52.000 Wow.

02:03:53.000 That's crazy.

02:03:54.000 83%.

02:03:55.000 83.6% cases had abnormal sexual behaviors as the initial symptoms.

02:04:00.000 The major presenting manifestations were...

02:04:02.000 What is that word?

02:04:04.000 Pre-apism?

02:04:05.000 What does that mean?

02:04:06.000 Pre-apism?

02:04:08.000 Am I reading this right? 0.99

02:04:10.000 You get bit by a dog in China and you just start ejaculating everywhere? 0.99

02:04:14.000 Just coming. 1.00

02:04:14.000 There you go. 1.00

02:04:15.000 A rare condition... 1.00

02:04:17.000 Oh, a prolonged erection of the penis. 1.00

02:04:19.000 That's right. 0.99

02:04:20.000 The full or partial erection continues hours behind.

02:04:24.000 It isn't caused by sexual stimulation.

02:04:26.000 So that's what this is.

02:04:27.000 This is like...

02:04:28.000 They're so wild and randy. 0.98

02:04:31.000 That they have a constant heart on and ejaculation in males and hypersexuality in females. 0.86

02:04:36.000 All cases were clinically diagnosed based on medical history and clinical manifestations.

02:04:40.000 Given no standardized post-exposure prophylaxis, all cases died.

02:04:45.000 With the survival time between 1 and 15 days.

02:04:48.000 Yeah, most people who get rabies die.

02:04:50.000 Do you think that that jizz had rabies in it?

02:04:53.000 Let's hope.

02:04:54.000 It makes the story more fun.

02:04:55.000 Take out the rabies part of it, right?

02:04:57.000 You get something where you have that disease. 0.96

02:05:01.000 You got the heart on you can't get rid of, you just keep ejaculating. 0.99

02:05:04.000 Ejaculating is fun. 0.99

02:05:05.000 How long before it's not...

02:05:07.000 Is it like in 20 minutes you don't like it anymore?

02:05:10.000 A couple days?

02:05:11.000 If you're just constantly feeling the feeling of ejaculation, is it like, can you perform your regular tasks? 1.00

02:05:19.000 It's another level of hell, just like that fucking head getting sewn back on the body. 1.00

02:05:23.000 It's hell, right? 1.00

02:05:24.000 But how fast is it hell?

02:05:26.000 Like in 20 minutes.

02:05:28.000 If it's 20 minutes, it's hell for you.

02:05:29.000 Yeah, you're exhausted and you just keep coming.

02:05:31.000 21 minutes, you're like, I can't take this anymore. 0.92

02:05:33.000 Yeah, imagine never not being horny. 0.98

02:05:36.000 That would be hell. 0.98

02:05:37.000 What is this guy?

02:05:37.000 He's got it?

02:05:38.000 He has a hundred orgasms a day. 0.98

02:05:40.000 Well, there you go. 0.97

02:05:42.000 Yeah, and zero friends.

02:05:45.000 That's annoying.

02:05:46.000 That's all that is.

02:05:47.000 He looks like he was having a blast.

02:05:48.000 He's faking it.

02:05:48.000 Maybe he's got rabies.

02:05:49.000 He's faking it.

02:05:51.000 Nobody comes that hard after 199. There's 100 orgasms.

02:05:56.000 That's the 100th one.

02:05:57.000 He's lying there.

02:05:57.000 I can't believe it still rocks.

02:06:00.000 He's like, I'm sorry, babe.

02:06:01.000 He's like, no way!

02:06:03.000 If you've ever jizzed more than three times in a day, the third one is dust.

02:06:06.000 The third one is just...

02:06:08.000 The third one is just a promise of future jizz.

02:06:11.000 So that's 97 blanks?

02:06:13.000 Yeah, that's crazy. 0.94

02:06:14.000 It says that this person came out as transgender and suffers from persistent genital arousal syndrome. 0.70

02:06:20.000 Is that the thing?

02:06:22.000 Is there a cure? 1.00

02:06:24.000 Yeah, but I mean, prove it, bitch. 1.00

02:06:26.000 You got your pants on. 1.00

02:06:27.000 That's an HR nightmare, if I'm being honest.

02:06:29.000 That's an HR nightmare.

02:06:30.000 I want you to really show us, we're just going to keep you in an aquarium, and really show us that you're always hard, and this isn't just an act for attention.

02:06:40.000 Yeah.

02:06:40.000 You might be kooky.

02:06:42.000 You always gotta throw that in, but anytime you add some gender thing into, like, any kind of possibility of someone being kooky, everybody, oh, I can't do that.

02:06:50.000 Yeah.

02:06:51.000 Gender's involved.

02:06:52.000 It usurps it, yeah.

02:06:52.000 Gender just, like, whoo, wipes the suede clean.

02:06:55.000 Yeah.

02:06:57.000 What a time!

02:06:58.000 What a time, Salvatore!

02:06:59.000 What a time!

02:07:02.000 I can't imagine that.

02:07:04.000 So let's say he does have it.

02:07:06.000 What is his life for real?

02:07:07.000 It's just nothing.

02:07:08.000 All the time.

02:07:08.000 Constant nothing.

02:07:09.000 But he's had enough time to call the news.

02:07:12.000 Are you functioning?

02:07:12.000 Come watch me come.

02:07:13.000 He's a freak. 0.99

02:07:14.000 You guys are a freak. 0.99

02:07:15.000 This is my 34th time of the day. 0.98

02:07:19.000 You have to document these things if you're a journalist.

02:07:22.000 Otherwise, what are you doing?

02:07:23.000 Why are you there?

02:07:24.000 Can he not work?

02:07:25.000 Can he not be in a relationship?

02:07:26.000 I can't work.

02:07:27.000 I need money.

02:07:28.000 I just need money from the government.

02:07:31.000 I can't stop coming.

02:07:32.000 I'm coming now.

02:07:33.000 I'm coming now.

02:07:33.000 Does he go to Easter with the family?

02:07:36.000 Like, what is he?

02:07:36.000 Oh my god, he's really sitting there just orgasming.

02:07:39.000 Is that real?

02:07:40.000 When was the last time you bent over like that when you came for the 80th time of the day?

02:07:44.000 There's no dehydrated.

02:07:45.000 That's all I can do.

02:07:46.000 Yeah, the kid's fine.

02:07:47.000 Meanwhile, he's losing weight like a pro wrestler.

02:07:49.000 His face was purple.

02:07:52.000 That's got to be... 0.89

02:07:53.000 The whole thing's nonsense.

02:07:54.000 The blood pressure.

02:07:55.000 You think it is?

02:07:55.000 We're spending too much time on this.

02:07:56.000 Yes. 1.00

02:07:57.000 I think he's full of shit. 1.00

02:07:59.000 I'm just guessing. 1.00

02:08:01.000 Look, if he really does suffer from that, you gotta imagine.

02:08:04.000 Imagine suffering from that no one believes you?

02:08:06.000 You're right.

02:08:07.000 I have to take it back, and I apologize.

02:08:09.000 Because you gotta imagine, some people are definitely hornier than other people.

02:08:13.000 Some people are actually asexual.

02:08:15.000 They're like, you can keep it.

02:08:16.000 Sure.

02:08:16.000 I don't want it.

02:08:17.000 Keep it.

02:08:18.000 Back to our rabies case.

02:08:20.000 It says that this happened to someone up to 40 or 50 times a day by the fourth day in a 32-year-old man in China.

02:08:26.000 God!

02:08:27.000 32-year-old Chinese man began to have frequent ejaculations. 0.83

02:08:30.000 How are they coming out, buddy? 0.92

02:08:32.000 They just shooting out? 1.00

02:08:33.000 Are you touching your dick? 1.00

02:08:34.000 Like, what does that mean? 1.00

02:08:35.000 Frequent ejaculations telling you like you're passing the buck.

02:08:37.000 Do you ever help one along, or is it all solo?

02:08:40.000 Is it all hands-free?

02:08:42.000 What are you watching? 1.00

02:08:42.000 Fucking zoo monkey. 1.00

02:08:44.000 He's like, 45 were hands-free, 5 were him. 1.00

02:08:47.000 The wildest is the chimps at the zoo just jacking off in front of people.

02:08:51.000 It says triggered by any touch.

02:08:53.000 Any touch?

02:08:55.000 Any touch?

02:08:57.000 When frequent ejaculations increased to 40 to 50 times on the morning of day four, the patient went to a local clinic.

02:09:02.000 He's like, something's up! 0.91

02:09:07.000 50 times a day this dude was nutting.

02:09:09.000 He's like, maybe I need to get this looked at.

02:09:11.000 Traditional Chinese medicine for the treatment of imbalance of yin and yang.

02:09:15.000 You're telling me!

02:09:17.000 I mean, are we right?

02:09:19.000 However, symptomatic treatment to rebalance the yin and yang had no effect.

02:09:24.000 Crazy.

02:09:25.000 In the same afternoon, he was sent to the community hospital in Beijing with the following symptoms.

02:09:29.000 Headache, dizziness, nausea, malaise, fever of 39 degrees Celsius, irritability, tachyphrasia, speech difficulty, hypersalvation.

02:09:40.000 He was subsequently transferred to a territory...

02:09:43.000 Territory?

02:09:45.000 What's that word?

02:09:46.000 Tertiary?

02:09:46.000 Tertiary Hospital.

02:09:47.000 Third Hospital, sorry.

02:09:48.000 In Beijing for further diagnosis and treatment, but the etiology remained unidentified.

02:09:56.000 At around 10 p.m.

02:09:57.000 of day four, a patient was sent to Infectious Disease Department of Peking University Third Hospital and was transferred to emergency department due to tachycardia and dysphemia. 0.99

02:10:05.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

02:10:27.000 This is how we're all going to die, Sal. 1.00

02:10:29.000 This is what's going to happen.

02:10:31.000 Someone's going to hear about this and go, okay.

02:10:33.000 So what you're saying is a little rabies is really good. 1.00

02:10:37.000 What we need is an inert form of raisins.

02:10:40.000 What we need is a rabies vaccine that gives you just constant rock-hard boners.

02:10:46.000 Yeah.

02:10:46.000 For guys who like to party, you know?

02:10:48.000 When blue chews not enough.

02:10:50.000 Yeah, when you just want to be a different thing than a person.

02:10:53.000 And you also don't want rabies.

02:10:55.000 Yeah.

02:10:55.000 Well, we've got, imagine if like every guy starts doing it.

02:10:59.000 Just like, how many women have fake boobs now? 1.00

02:11:02.000 Quite a few. 0.99

02:11:03.000 Like most guys.

02:11:04.000 It'll be like baseball.

02:11:06.000 Everyone's got to do it if you want to compete.

02:11:08.000 You gotta get the rabies shot.

02:11:09.000 Did you get your rabies shot?

02:11:10.000 You're 16. You can get a rabies shot at 16. Don't listen to those Robert Kennedy Jr. Pussies.

02:11:14.000 There's no fucking side effects. 1.00

02:11:15.000 Just get your rabies shot and get your fucking dick on. 1.00

02:11:20.000 Can you imagine if, like, something switched? 1.00

02:11:22.000 Well, if you think of animals, so, like, tigers.

02:11:26.000 Tigers can breed 50 times a day. 0.99

02:11:28.000 When a female tiger's in heat, the tiger just keeps fucking. 1.00

02:11:31.000 They fuck to the... 1.00

02:11:32.000 Literally, is that where easy tiger comes from? 1.00

02:11:35.000 I don't know what that term is.

02:11:36.000 Easy tiger.

02:11:37.000 Oh, no.

02:11:38.000 I don't think so.

02:11:39.000 We just found out that the hair of the dog...

02:11:41.000 You might be right.

02:11:42.000 Maybe.

02:11:43.000 But that's for a short period of time when the females... 1.00

02:11:47.000 If she's not in estrus, he won't do that.

02:11:50.000 But if a person has sex for fun, like if a person could be as horny as a tiger all the time, what a terrifying world we would live in.

02:11:59.000 Someone's working on that.

02:12:00.000 That's what I'm worried about.

02:12:04.000 There's certain medications that get created that are essentially performance-enhancing medications that you can prescribe to people for stuff.

02:12:13.000 I think this is true.

02:12:17.000 Pro-vigil.

02:12:18.000 I think the initial idea behind, check to see if this is true, I think the initial idea behind it was using it as a performance-enhancing substance.

02:12:26.000 But then they couldn't do that because you can't just prescribe something to help people's performance.

02:12:31.000 You have to have a sickness.

02:12:32.000 And so they went with, I think it was insomnia.

02:12:37.000 No, not insomnia.

02:12:39.000 What's the other one when you just pass out?

02:12:41.000 When you faint?

02:12:42.000 What's that one, Jamie?

02:12:45.000 Narcolepsy.

02:12:45.000 Narcolepsy, yeah.

02:12:45.000 So I think they used it for narcolepsy.

02:12:47.000 Have you ever taken ProVigil or NuVigil?

02:12:51.000 It's a weird chemical.

02:12:54.000 I think Tim Ferriss, when he wrote one of his books, he decided to not put it in there because he was worried that people would just eat it like candy if they knew how effective it was.

02:13:06.000 But he and a lot of people were of the opinion that there's no such thing as a biological free lunch.

02:13:11.000 There's no such thing as one thing that turns on that much of your brain.

02:13:14.000 That's probably not doing something that we don't know about yet. 0.91

02:13:18.000 It could be fucking something up long term.

02:13:20.000 Who knows?

02:13:21.000 Let's get some studies done.

02:13:22.000 But I've taken it before on trips.

02:13:25.000 If I had to go somewhere, say if I did a gig in San Diego and I had to drive back home to LA, The gig's done at midnight. 0.64

02:13:32.000 We grab our shit, we throw it in the car, and it's two hours of driving. 0.94

02:13:35.000 And if you're fucking tired at one in the morning, if your head starts nodding out, if I take one of those, no worries. 0.99

02:13:41.000 No sleep. 0.99

02:13:42.000 Not happening.

02:13:43.000 For how long?

02:13:43.000 But not speedy.

02:13:45.000 That's what's weird.

02:13:46.000 Really?

02:13:46.000 Yeah, no, no.

02:13:47.000 It doesn't increase your heart rate.

02:13:48.000 It doesn't make you a blabbermouth. 1.00

02:13:51.000 You can't shut the fuck up. 0.99

02:13:52.000 It's not like that. 0.99

02:13:53.000 It's like a weird sort of like the idea of being sleepy just gets erased.

02:13:59.000 Is it crash?

02:14:00.000 Is there a crash?

02:14:02.000 That's the problem.

02:14:03.000 That's why I think Tim Ferriss was worried about putting in the book.

02:14:05.000 It doesn't seem to have much of a crash.

02:14:07.000 Really?

02:14:08.000 I didn't feel it.

02:14:09.000 I mean, everybody's different, right?

02:14:10.000 Did you sleep when you got home?

02:14:12.000 Yeah.

02:14:12.000 Yeah, I slept.

02:14:13.000 You also slept?

02:14:14.000 Yeah.

02:14:14.000 I went to bed when I got home, which is like 2-ish, 2.30-ish, whatever it took us to drive back, drop everybody off.

02:14:21.000 I think I was like...

02:14:24.000 Maybe a half an hour later I was asleep.

02:14:26.000 Wow.

02:14:27.000 Yeah, it didn't stop me from sleeping, but it stopped me from falling asleep at the wheel or being drowsy at the wheel. 0.93

02:14:34.000 You know those moments where the fucking road just starts hypnotizing you, the white lines, and you're just like, oh no.

02:14:39.000 And you're literally like, what am I gonna do? 0.98

02:14:41.000 Am I ever gonna pull over or am I gonna push through this?

02:14:44.000 It happens a lot for us.

02:14:46.000 I'm driving a lot on the road all the time.

02:14:47.000 My manager, Jeff, he gave me the best advice.

02:14:51.000 It's the best advice.

02:14:52.000 I do it every time I know I have to drive and I'm tired.

02:14:55.000 You get ice-cold water and a rag, like a washcloth.

02:14:59.000 Sure.

02:15:00.000 That's the best.

02:15:00.000 If you have ice in the washcloth, that's the best, and a little bit of water.

02:15:03.000 And just get a little Tupperware thing of ice and water in a washcloth, and when you feel tired, you just take that washcloth, you rub your face real quick, it goes away.

02:15:13.000 Really?

02:15:13.000 Yep.

02:15:14.000 It goes away.

02:15:15.000 And then five minutes later, you might need it again.

02:15:17.000 But you got it right there, you rub it in your face, it goes away.

02:15:20.000 What happens if you don't...

02:15:21.000 The ice is the factor, not the water.

02:15:24.000 Yeah, you need cold water.

02:15:25.000 The cold water wakes your face right up.

02:15:28.000 And it works.

02:15:29.000 It just stimulates.

02:15:30.000 It does whatever it has to do to snap you out of this cycle of droning.

02:15:35.000 A kid I went to high school with fell asleep behind the wheel and died.

02:15:38.000 It happens.

02:15:39.000 Me too, actually.

02:15:40.000 My friend Tommy had an accident where he blacked out behind the wheel and crashed his car.

02:15:44.000 Yeah.

02:15:45.000 I think about this often now, because my parents, they live in a different state, and it's only like 75 minutes away, but they come to visit me, and then we both visit each other, and then they go home, and I'm like, I'm just getting there.

02:15:56.000 Recently, my mom told me, she was like, I had to go get a Coca-Cola or something, because sometimes I start to fall asleep, and I'm like, what?

02:16:04.000 I'm like, then don't make the drive.

02:16:07.000 She's like, no, I'll be all right.

02:16:08.000 I'm like, but you don't know that you will.

02:16:09.000 I couldn't believe she told me that.

02:16:11.000 Sometimes I doze a little.

02:16:13.000 I was like, Mom!

02:16:14.000 Jesus you know so she's like alright, so now it's like I don't know if we get to that point where it's like limited that she can't come to me anymore.

02:16:19.000 I don't know.

02:16:20.000 Just gotta get her a Tesla. 1.00

02:16:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:16:21.000 Put that bitch on autopilot. 1.00

02:16:24.000 She's like 74. She asked me for a mountain bike for Christmas. 1.00

02:16:28.000 So here it does.

02:16:29.000 It enhances cognition too.

02:16:32.000 The drug modafinil was developed to treat narcolepsy, kind of, excessive sleeping, but it's widely used off-license as a smart drug to promote cognitive enhancement where qualities such as alertness and concentration are desired to assist someone with, for example, exam preparation. 0.99

02:16:48.000 I bet they give that shit to fighter pilots, too. 0.99

02:16:51.000 Don't you imagine? 1.00

02:16:52.000 You need a laser.

02:16:54.000 I mean, the focus that's required is like unhumanly.

02:16:57.000 I don't think they think about laws. 0.99

02:16:59.000 Like, whatever the fuck is the best thing for them. 0.99

02:17:02.000 Give them that. 1.00

02:17:03.000 What are we, stupid? 1.00

02:17:04.000 Something's written down on paper, you can't give them that? 1.00

02:17:06.000 Give him whatever the fuck he wants. 1.00

02:17:09.000 He's flying a goddamn fighter jet. 1.00

02:17:11.000 You want those dudes, tune the fuck in. 1.00

02:17:14.000 You don't want them sober. 0.99

02:17:16.000 You want them on whatever. 1.00

02:17:17.000 Adderall, whatever the fucking mixture is. 0.99

02:17:20.000 That stuff and Adderall together, just like... 0.99

02:17:25.000 Yeah, disciplined fighter jet pilot with a little bit of Adderall, a little bit of that stuff, just locked and fucking loaded. 0.97

02:17:34.000 Just in there. 0.95

02:17:35.000 You don't want any distractions.

02:17:37.000 You want hyper focus. 1.00

02:17:39.000 It's your ass. 1.00

02:17:40.000 What do you think a fighter pilot's like regimen? 1.00

02:17:42.000 Do you think they keep a certain regimen or something?

02:17:45.000 They're very fit.

02:17:46.000 At least the Blue Angels are.

02:17:47.000 I flew with the Blue Angels once, and the dude that flew with me was jacked. 0.99

02:17:51.000 He was fucking... 0.99

02:17:52.000 And he was telling me that... 1.00

02:17:54.000 You really need to be physically strong to overcome.

02:17:57.000 They don't wear a G-suit.

02:17:58.000 They just use this method called hooking.

02:18:01.000 You go like this.

02:18:02.000 Hook! 0.99

02:18:03.000 Hook! 0.99

02:18:03.000 So as the Gs are hitting you, you're forcing blood into your brain to stay conscious. 0.99

02:18:08.000 Yeah, and you have to be strong to do it.

02:18:10.000 So you go where the Blue Angels are. 0.99

02:18:12.000 They have weights all over the fucking place. 0.99

02:18:14.000 These guys are always working out. 0.99

02:18:15.000 But I'm thinking cognitively.

02:18:16.000 What about cognitively? 1.00

02:18:17.000 Oh, you have to be a fucking genius. 1.00

02:18:18.000 But they have to have a routine, though, where they keep themselves sharp, right? 1.00

02:18:22.000 I mean, like, that's part of probably their daily lifestyle.

02:18:24.000 I'm sure there's constant assessments, too.

02:18:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:18:28.000 Yeah, I'm sure.

02:18:29.000 I'm sure there's probably, like, a lot of drug testing.

02:18:32.000 There's probably making sure you're getting sleep.

02:18:35.000 I mean, they're putting you at the helm of something.

02:18:37.000 What do those things cost?

02:18:39.000 Like, what does an FA-18 cost?

02:18:42.000 Yeah.

02:18:42.000 Let's take a guess.

02:18:43.000 Is it $100 million?

02:18:45.000 What did one of those things cost?

02:18:46.000 $300 million?

02:18:48.000 But that's if it's fully loaded.

02:18:49.000 What's our top of the food chain jet right now?

02:18:52.000 Like, what's the best jet the Americans have?

02:18:55.000 Because the one I flew in, I believe, was an F-A-18 with the Blue Angels.

02:19:00.000 It's insane.

02:19:01.000 Yeah.

02:19:02.000 It's insane.

02:19:02.000 They wanted to put us in one of those.

02:19:04.000 Shh, shh, shh.

02:19:04.000 I didn't do it.

02:19:05.000 It's going through the fucking canyon sideways. 1.00

02:19:08.000 You're like, yo! 0.99

02:19:10.000 We're like a couple hundred feet off the ground.

02:19:13.000 Did you throw up?

02:19:14.000 Yeah, I did throw up.

02:19:15.000 We put the guy in the show on one and he went up and he did all the stuff and they said, this is what's going to happen.

02:19:21.000 You're probably going to get nauseous and throw up and black out.

02:19:24.000 And you know and and that's exactly what happened and we had all the cameras in it and when he got back We couldn't see it like we couldn't see him So he just took off of the thing and there was cameras in there and then when he came back We were gonna just be like how'd it go because we and he came back he got a thing open he looked like I Absolutely horrified,

02:19:41.000 ill, sick, traumatic. 0.57

02:19:44.000 He threw up, he passed out, he woke up, he threw up, he passed out, he came out, he was crying, and he goes, that wasn't, because the guy was just like, merciful with him.

02:19:51.000 Oh boy.

02:19:52.000 Yeah, and he was like, it's not funny, we're not even gonna put it on air.

02:19:56.000 Did they teach him how to, like, keep his consciousness?

02:19:59.000 Did they teach him how to do the hooking thing?

02:20:01.000 Yeah, he got the briefing, you know?

02:20:03.000 I got it through the harder part, and then I got cocky in another part, and I didn't do it quick enough, and I blacked out.

02:20:10.000 The part that I blacked out in was way less Gs.

02:20:14.000 The part that I didn't black out was like seven Gs, which was crazy.

02:20:18.000 And then I think the one I blacked out was like four or four and a half I blacked out.

02:20:23.000 I just didn't hook in time.

02:20:24.000 I just wasn't sure if I should be doing it now, like when to do it.

02:20:28.000 And the pilot, when you hear the pilot hooking, that's what's really scary.

02:20:31.000 I hear him going, hoots, hoots! 0.98

02:20:33.000 I'm like, oh shit, he's blacking out too. 0.99

02:20:35.000 Like he's experiencing what I'm experiencing. 0.99

02:20:37.000 Yeah, what happens if he doesn't, the hoots don't work? 0.78

02:20:39.000 He's gonna work.

02:20:40.000 It'll work. 1.00

02:20:41.000 Those fucking dudes. 1.00

02:20:42.000 Those dudes are American. 1.00

02:20:45.000 Like if you want the rest of the world to be worried about America, you want to be worried about fighter pilot guys.

02:20:50.000 Real Americans.

02:20:52.000 Men.

02:20:52.000 What did you see?

02:20:53.000 They know how to fucking pilot that goddamn jet. 1.00

02:20:56.000 What did you see in there, though? 1.00

02:20:58.000 Nothing, right?

02:20:59.000 What did I see?

02:20:59.000 What do you mean?

02:20:59.000 Like, you're sitting in a jet, right?

02:21:01.000 I mean, I'm behind him, so I'm seated right behind him.

02:21:05.000 Can you see?

02:21:05.000 Oh, yeah, I can see everything.

02:21:07.000 Oh, you could. 1.00

02:21:07.000 Oh, yeah, there's fucking glass around you, man. 1.00

02:21:09.000 No, no, seeing up, right? 1.00

02:21:10.000 Do you have any sense of...

02:21:15.000 Are you looking...

02:21:16.000 You don't see anything?

02:21:17.000 You're just seeing blue sky?

02:21:18.000 No, no, no, no.

02:21:19.000 You do that, too.

02:21:20.000 We did a flip where you do the thing all the way around.

02:21:22.000 We did that.

02:21:23.000 But momentarily.

02:21:24.000 But he's also going through the canyons at low altitude.

02:21:27.000 Oh, like in Top Gun 2?

02:21:29.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:21:30.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:21:30.000 No way. 1.00

02:21:31.000 You did that?

02:21:32.000 Oh, we did that.

02:21:33.000 Yeah.

02:21:33.000 Was that just, let's do it?

02:21:35.000 Or did you have to get yourself there to get in that?

02:21:37.000 I mean, I said, whatever he wants to do, I'm going to do.

02:21:40.000 That's the thing they do.

02:21:41.000 Yeah, man.

02:21:41.000 They take you on this run.

02:21:42.000 They have a route.

02:21:43.000 They take you.

02:21:44.000 I don't trust it, dude.

02:21:45.000 Well, these are the crazy ones when they fly next to each other. 1.00

02:21:48.000 Like, fuck all that. 1.00

02:21:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:50.000 Fuck all that. 1.00

02:21:51.000 But you're flying in the canyon. 1.00

02:21:53.000 It's the same thing.

02:21:53.000 My friend Mark Smith does that.

02:21:54.000 He did that with the Thunderbirds.

02:21:56.000 He's a referee for the UFC. You have to be an exceptional human being to be able to pilot one of those things.

02:22:05.000 I mean, you have to be on your fucking P's and Q's. 0.99

02:22:10.000 Yeah, like superhuman basically. 0.99

02:22:11.000 What was that jet you were showing us that just lifts up off the ground?

02:22:15.000 35. That's our top of the food chain?

02:22:18.000 At least that we know about. 1.00

02:22:20.000 Holy shit, dude. 0.99

02:22:20.000 Within 10% of the right guess. 0.99

02:22:22.000 109 million per aircraft.

02:22:23.000 Show a video of that thing.

02:22:25.000 That thing is nuts, man. 0.84

02:22:27.000 This thing is nuts. 1.00

02:22:28.000 Watch how this motherfucker takes off. 1.00

02:22:30.000 First of all, look at it. 1.00

02:22:31.000 It looks badass.

02:22:31.000 You see that thing coming at you like, oh, we should have signed a treaty.

02:22:37.000 Look how it takes off.

02:22:38.000 Look how it points down at the ground. 1.00

02:22:40.000 Look at its asshole. 1.00

02:22:41.000 It's going to take a shit on you right now. 1.00

02:22:43.000 It asshole tucks down on the ground. 1.00

02:22:45.000 That's sick. 1.00

02:22:46.000 Look at that. 0.97

02:22:46.000 That's insane, dude. 0.97

02:22:48.000 That is literally insane. 1.00

02:22:50.000 The asshole tucks at the ground, and it just lifts up into the sky. 1.00

02:22:54.000 This looks fake. 1.00

02:22:56.000 Surreal.

02:22:56.000 That looks like the lunar orbiter getting pulled from the surface of the moon by special effects.

02:23:01.000 That's wild.

02:23:02.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

02:23:03.000 Oh, and that's how it lands as well?

02:23:05.000 Bro. 0.99

02:23:05.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

02:23:07.000 That's insane. 0.99

02:23:08.000 This was 10 years ago, so this is not...

02:23:11.000 Oh, yeah.

02:23:11.000 Now it goes like the speed of light.

02:23:14.000 And it's invisible.

02:23:15.000 The old model.

02:23:16.000 That's so funny. 1.00

02:23:17.000 Yeah, that's bullshit. 0.99

02:23:17.000 That's like an iPhone 10. That's so fucking funny. 0.99

02:23:20.000 If someone pulled out an iPhone 1 today, like, what the fuck is that? 0.99

02:23:26.000 Right? 0.95

02:23:27.000 Like 10 years ago in jets with all the money- That thing has a cigarette lighter in it, are you kidding me? 0.99

02:23:31.000 With all the money that these dudes have to make these fucking things? 0.93

02:23:36.000 I mean, I guess they're just limited by physics, right? 0.99

02:23:39.000 They're just limited by propulsion systems and the metal and the g-force and the pilot being able to stay conscious. 0.99

02:23:47.000 Get the pilot out so we can do better shit. 0.99

02:23:49.000 100%. 1.00

02:23:50.000 They're addicted, right?

02:23:50.000 They're gonna do that.

02:23:51.000 They're addicted to this, right?

02:23:53.000 I would imagine you would be...

02:23:54.000 You have to be addicted to it.

02:23:55.000 I mean, what kind of car do you drive?

02:23:57.000 A BMW SUV. They're nice.

02:24:00.000 That's a nice car.

02:24:01.000 Like, don't you enjoy driving it?

02:24:03.000 Yeah, I do, actually.

02:24:04.000 It's enjoyable, right?

02:24:06.000 If you're listening to BMW. I like to get in a car and I like to go, ooh, it feels good to drive.

02:24:11.000 It's enjoyable.

02:24:12.000 Imagine flying. 1.00

02:24:14.000 That fucking thing. 1.00

02:24:15.000 You ever been to a racetrack? 1.00

02:24:16.000 Yeah.

02:24:16.000 Oh, yeah.

02:24:17.000 I went to the Indy 500. Look at this fucking turn. 0.99

02:24:20.000 That is so insane. 1.00

02:24:21.000 It's just so insane that these things can do this.

02:24:24.000 Look at how it just hovers.

02:24:27.000 Like, that's a nutty craft. 0.69

02:24:29.000 That thing's nuts. 0.99

02:24:30.000 Yeah, it's like...

02:24:31.000 It's so agile.

02:24:33.000 It looks like a bird.

02:24:34.000 I wonder how long it stays in the sky, though.

02:24:35.000 I bet it ain't long.

02:24:36.000 I mean, where's all the gas?

02:24:38.000 That must be eating gas, you know?

02:24:40.000 Like, I have a Ram truck.

02:24:42.000 TRX gets like nine miles to the gallon.

02:24:44.000 No fun.

02:24:44.000 Really?

02:24:45.000 Really?

02:24:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:24:47.000 Imagine what that gets.

02:24:48.000 I mean, how...

02:24:50.000 You just fill in that thing?

02:24:51.000 It's probably got a 25-gallon?

02:24:53.000 Yeah, giant gas tank.

02:24:54.000 How much of a fill-up?

02:24:57.000 I don't know.

02:24:57.000 You don't get to E on that thing, right?

02:25:00.000 You get to E, yeah.

02:25:01.000 You have a reserve tank, right, probably?

02:25:03.000 No, I don't have a reserve tank.

02:25:04.000 Oh, my dad had a reserve tank in his pickup.

02:25:06.000 Yeah?

02:25:07.000 A whole second tank.

02:25:08.000 Oh, that's a dude who's worried about the future.

02:25:10.000 No.

02:25:11.000 Is he a prepper?

02:25:12.000 That was a dude that got a lease at the right day.

02:25:14.000 Oh, that's it.

02:25:15.000 Yeah, well, they do that with a lot of cars because a lot of those pickup trucks, people have to transport things over long distances.

02:25:21.000 No, this was like a Ford F-150 or whatever.

02:25:24.000 Yeah, Ford F-150 is probably the most popular pickup truck in the world.

02:25:26.000 Yeah.

02:25:27.000 I think it is, probably next to the Toyotas.

02:25:29.000 Toyota Tacoma might be number one.

02:25:31.000 Like, what's the most popular pickup truck in the world?

02:25:33.000 It's either an F-150 or it's a Tacoma.

02:25:37.000 In my head, it's like F-150 is a name I always, always, always have heard.

02:25:41.000 You can't go wrong with an F-150.

02:25:43.000 They've been making those things just like Porsche 911s.

02:25:45.000 They've been making that same truck since the beginning of time, just making it better every year. 1.00

02:25:50.000 Ford F-150s are the shit. 1.00

02:25:52.000 They're so durable. 1.00

02:25:53.000 My dad had them even growing up. 0.99

02:25:55.000 They're fucking great. 0.99

02:25:57.000 Is that the number one? 1.00

02:25:58.000 48 years in a row.

02:25:59.000 That's it.

02:26:00.000 That's it.

02:26:01.000 Ford F-Series, most popular truck, best-selling truck in the U.S. It's been that way for nearly half a century, and they fucking deserve it. 0.98

02:26:08.000 They're amazing trucks. 0.98

02:26:09.000 Now that you say it, I think they say that in the commercial all the time.

02:26:12.000 I used to have one.

02:26:13.000 I used to have a Raptor. 0.98

02:26:15.000 The most recent version, the six-cylinder one, it was fucking great. 0.95

02:26:19.000 Yeah? 0.98

02:26:20.000 Great truck, man.

02:26:21.000 30-inch television in there?

02:26:22.000 No, no flat screen. 0.86

02:26:24.000 That's the only thing that sucked.

02:26:25.000 Yeah.

02:26:26.000 I feel like if you're in that plane, you need a 60-inch flat screen.

02:26:30.000 Yeah.

02:26:30.000 Like, we need to reorganize my room.

02:26:32.000 I want to be in a theater.

02:26:34.000 I'm in the sky on a spaceship. 1.00

02:26:36.000 I don't want this bullshit ass. 1.00

02:26:37.000 32 inches is like that big. 1.00

02:26:39.000 It should look like cribs.

02:26:40.000 That's not that big.

02:26:41.000 32 inches is not big.

02:26:42.000 That's like the first flat screen.

02:26:44.000 Do you think I don't know how to count numbers?

02:26:46.000 32 is not big.

02:26:48.000 What is that?

02:26:49.000 20,000 pounds of fuel.

02:26:51.000 20,000 pounds of internal fuel has a range of greater than 1,200 Newton meters?

02:26:56.000 I don't know.

02:26:57.000 It was about 1,000 miles, it says.

02:26:59.000 It can fly for like two hours without needing refueling.

02:27:01.000 Two hours?

02:27:02.000 But they can refuel it in the air, so they can stay up forever, essentially. 0.98

02:27:05.000 The point is, like, when they're on the gas, though, I bet it really fucking... 0.97

02:27:09.000 It burns fuel. 0.96

02:27:10.000 My point is my truck.

02:27:11.000 My truck, when I'm on the gas, it burns fuel.

02:27:15.000 It's a little gauge on the TRX that shows you if you're running out of gas.

02:27:21.000 It shows you what your gas mileage is.

02:27:23.000 You can leave it on and just cry.

02:27:24.000 12 gallons an hour when using the afterburner.

02:27:27.000 Dude!

02:27:28.000 I want to see a mid-flight refueling.

02:27:31.000 I remember on the original Nintendo.

02:27:33.000 Do you play original Nintendo?

02:27:35.000 No.

02:27:36.000 Top Gun on original Nintendo?

02:27:38.000 It was one of the things you had to do in between.

02:27:39.000 They had to refuel in the air.

02:27:41.000 They really do do that.

02:27:42.000 That's insane.

02:27:43.000 It's insane. 1.00

02:27:44.000 I mean, again, those level of human beings that can pilot those things and keep their shit together like this, flying two jets right over each other like that, and trusting the guy on the bottom to stay still, like, shut the fuck up, man! 1.00

02:27:58.000 This is nuts! 1.00

02:27:59.000 And you've got gasoline?!

02:28:00.000 You're pumping gasoline with your robot dick?! 1.00

02:28:04.000 Into the vagina of this thing. 1.00

02:28:06.000 Look how it clamps up. 1.00

02:28:07.000 That's nuts, dude.

02:28:08.000 See how it like clamped in place? 1.00

02:28:10.000 Because if it doesn't clamp, then you got gas spraying all over your fucking jet engines that are hot as shit. 0.99

02:28:16.000 Dude, I'm more impressed with the thing that has the gas in it, actually. 1.00

02:28:20.000 Yeah, the dick. 0.99

02:28:21.000 That was made second, you know? 0.99

02:28:23.000 Like, that's newer technology than the jet itself.

02:28:25.000 It's all nuts, dude.

02:28:26.000 I mean, just the fact that they have this thing is nuts.

02:28:29.000 Look at it.

02:28:30.000 And it's really kind of weird that it takes war for us to make something that's that cool.

02:28:38.000 Right.

02:28:38.000 Like, that amazing to look...

02:28:40.000 Like, if you're a guy...

02:28:42.000 Like, what do guys...

02:28:42.000 Guys love fast cars.

02:28:44.000 We love spaceships, rocket ships.

02:28:45.000 Like, I know a lot of girls do, too.

02:28:47.000 Don't get me wrong, but...

02:28:49.000 Men generally design these things.

02:28:52.000 The ultimate is that!

02:28:54.000 You only get that if you go to war. 1.00

02:28:57.000 You gotta kill people to get that. 0.99

02:28:58.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:28:59.000 The best of the best of the best minds and the best of the best of the best people that can pilot that thing, all driven by war.

02:29:06.000 Like if Bezos goes out...

02:29:08.000 I mean, Bezos has like $200 billion. 1.00

02:29:10.000 He goes, I want a fucking fighter jet, man. 0.99

02:29:12.000 If he's sitting around with a super hot girlfriend with a shirt on, button to the navel. 1.00

02:29:16.000 You know what I want? 1.00

02:29:17.000 I want a fucking fighter jet. 1.00

02:29:19.000 He can't even have a fighter jet. 1.00

02:29:21.000 That's bullshit. 0.99

02:29:22.000 You could have the biggest yacht in the world. 1.00

02:29:24.000 You could have the most beautiful wife.

02:29:26.000 You could have a fleet of Rolls Royces.

02:29:29.000 No fighter jet. 0.51

02:29:31.000 Fighter jet is only for people who get to kill people.

02:29:34.000 Yeah.

02:29:34.000 That's crazy.

02:29:35.000 You can have a gun.

02:29:36.000 We can let you have a gun.

02:29:37.000 Right.

02:29:37.000 You can have a rifle.

02:29:38.000 You can have a shotgun.

02:29:39.000 If you want a short-barreled shotgun, you got to get a tax stamp and you got to go through the government.

02:29:44.000 But if you want a pistol, you know, you can get a pistol, but no fighter jets.

02:29:49.000 Not a fighter jet.

02:29:50.000 No, you can't have a tank either.

02:29:51.000 You can buy one. 1.00

02:29:52.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:29:53.000 Oh, that's the whole bullshit one. 1.00

02:29:55.000 That's only 79 grand. 0.99

02:29:57.000 You know why it's only 79 grand?

02:29:59.000 Because it's only going to last for one flight.

02:30:01.000 That's not a real plane.

02:30:02.000 I'm not getting in that thing.

02:30:03.000 You can buy them?

02:30:04.000 Yeah.

02:30:05.000 Oh my god.

02:30:06.000 That's a jet.

02:30:07.000 Now...

02:30:07.000 Million dollars?

02:30:08.000 But you're not allowed to buy that new one.

02:30:11.000 Well, if you talk to Lockheed and you have enough money.

02:30:14.000 Do you think they would sell you one of those jets?

02:30:16.000 Do you think I'm putting this in Jeff Bezos' ear right now?

02:30:18.000 They probably have a contract with the government to not sell them the same stuff that they're selling the government, but they might be able to make you a slightly different one.

02:30:25.000 So these are like 1990 ones.

02:30:27.000 Scroll up a little bit.

02:30:28.000 That one was like a little above that.

02:30:31.000 1992. Oh, but that's a propeller plane.

02:30:33.000 Think of the market that you're selling to.

02:30:35.000 Ooh, look at that one.

02:30:37.000 That looks like a jet.

02:30:38.000 It's in Illinois.

02:30:40.000 But no one's buying that unless they're a pilot, right?

02:30:42.000 I mean... 1.00

02:30:42.000 Or a fucking psycho. 1.00

02:30:45.000 How small is a demographic that could possibly buy it? 1.00

02:30:48.000 I can't believe you could buy these.

02:30:49.000 Now, they have to be unarmed, right?

02:30:52.000 They have to have taken...

02:30:53.000 Well, helicopters are different.

02:30:55.000 Oh my God, you could buy a Blackhawk.

02:30:56.000 How much is that?

02:30:57.000 Really?

02:30:58.000 It's a premium listing.

02:31:00.000 Call for price.

02:31:01.000 They don't list it.

02:31:03.000 Translate this into rubles.

02:31:04.000 They don't list it.

02:31:05.000 Like, listing the price there is going to shock me.

02:31:08.000 Hello, I am calling from Illinois.

02:31:11.000 I seek to buy...

02:31:14.000 On the up and up.

02:31:15.000 I want to know for sure how much for just my children love Black Hawk Down.

02:31:20.000 I thought the fun thing.

02:31:23.000 Buy a Black Hawk.

02:31:24.000 Okay, you can buy a 92 jet for $3 million.

02:31:28.000 $3,200,000 in Redondo Beach, California.

02:31:30.000 And look, it's got dope camo on it, too.

02:31:32.000 Like, if you're going to fight Smurfs, you can blend in with them. 0.74

02:31:35.000 How inferior do you think that model is to a current model?

02:31:38.000 Oh, it has to be crazy inferior, but still insanely cool.

02:31:42.000 But do you think you actually get those missiles?

02:31:44.000 No.

02:31:45.000 I want a missile.

02:31:46.000 I doubt it.

02:31:47.000 What was that Project Odessa?

02:31:51.000 Did you ever see that Netflix thing?

02:31:53.000 It was Project Odessa, right? 0.98

02:31:55.000 Where this fucking dude was a drug runner, and he bought a sub from the Russians, and they asked him if he wanted to buy nuclear missiles, too. 0.99

02:32:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

02:32:05.000 This is like at the fall of the Soviet Union.

02:32:07.000 Right, right, right.

02:32:08.000 Did he?

02:32:09.000 I don't think he did.

02:32:09.000 No.

02:32:10.000 It just was on Netflix?

02:32:11.000 Yes.

02:32:12.000 I watch a lot of stuff high and it rings a bell.

02:32:14.000 It rings a bell.

02:32:15.000 Yeah.

02:32:16.000 Operation Odessa.

02:32:17.000 Operation Odessa. 0.99

02:32:18.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.99

02:32:21.000 That's the sub. 0.99

02:32:22.000 They sold him a sub.

02:32:23.000 Wow, that's crazy.

02:32:25.000 That's crazy.

02:32:27.000 Bro, the documentary's amazing, because it's all real, but it seems like a plot of a Guy Ritchie movie.

02:32:32.000 Yeah.

02:32:32.000 It's so nuts.

02:32:33.000 It's so nuts.

02:32:35.000 A sub.

02:32:35.000 That's even...

02:32:36.000 You know what?

02:32:37.000 I wonder if a sub...

02:32:41.000 What level of pilot do you have to be to drive a sub, you think?

02:32:45.000 It's a good question.

02:32:46.000 It's probably really hard because you have to do all by instrumentation, right? 0.96

02:32:51.000 Can you imagine how terrifying it must be if you're in a place that you know there's rocks under the water, and you're driving around with this tube compressed by a thousand feet of water, just hoping you don't bang into something, hoping all your fucking sensors work correctly. 0.89

02:33:06.000 Down there. 0.87

02:33:09.000 I wouldn't get in one. 1.00

02:33:10.000 What the fuck, dude? 0.97

02:33:12.000 But I mean actually piloting it. 0.99

02:33:15.000 I know they have to read the instrumentation, so that's a lot of stuff.

02:33:17.000 But I wonder what it's actually like.

02:33:18.000 Is he just like, let me just back it up.

02:33:21.000 I would imagine now they must have so many super sophisticated sensors.

02:33:27.000 You know the big theory about all this stuff is that Oh, wow.

02:33:52.000 So then they released the fact that they had recorded this explosion that happened in the same area.

02:33:58.000 Oh, this footage of it?

02:33:59.000 But the real conspiracy is they don't think that they have those things under the water to detect submarines.

02:34:06.000 That they have those things under the water for UFOs.

02:34:09.000 And that a lot of the activity that we're seeing with all this UFO, UAP stuff is things that are coming in and out of the water.

02:34:17.000 That's why they're always near the water.

02:34:19.000 I have not heard that.

02:34:20.000 Yeah, that's the wildest one.

02:34:21.000 You know, like, what?

02:34:22.000 The government's underwater searching.

02:34:26.000 Imagine, there's a top-secret program that's setting up these underwater detection systems and listening systems and videotaping things because things are going in and out of the ocean.

02:34:40.000 So you have to figure out like where's their insertion point?

02:34:43.000 Where can we set up? 0.93

02:34:45.000 And they're just like setting up these monitoring stations to try to figure out what the fuck is going on down there. 0.87

02:34:51.000 There's a place we can't even go. 1.00

02:34:53.000 And there's a whole little village of these motherfuckers. 1.00

02:34:58.000 Spaceships shooting out of the bottom of the ocean and off into the sky. 1.00

02:35:01.000 I have enough problems on my mind already.

02:35:04.000 I don't need this one.

02:35:05.000 I mean, if they wanted to hide in plain sight, that's the place to do it.

02:35:08.000 Hide right in the ocean.

02:35:08.000 Have you watched Sugar?

02:35:10.000 Which Sugar?

02:35:11.000 It's a new show with Colin Farrell on Apple TV. Oh, I saw the preview of that the other day.

02:35:16.000 Is it good?

02:35:17.000 Yeah, I've been watching it, and I didn't know where it was going.

02:35:21.000 And then it takes a real sharp turn.

02:35:23.000 And what you kind of thought you were watching, you realize that maybe you weren't.

02:35:30.000 I can give it away.

02:35:31.000 Don't.

02:35:32.000 Yeah, I was going to say, I'd say watch it. 1.00

02:35:34.000 You already fucked it up. 0.99

02:35:35.000 Now I'm going to be looking for that sharp turn. 1.00

02:35:37.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:35:37.000 You'll never see it, though. 0.99

02:35:38.000 Okay, good. 0.99

02:35:40.000 Also, my memory is shit. 0.99

02:35:42.000 So I'll probably forget about it. 0.99

02:35:43.000 What were we talking about?

02:35:44.000 What were we talking about?

02:35:46.000 Dogs or rabies?

02:35:48.000 You think that alien matter they copped to like a few months back is real? 1.00

02:35:53.000 Because back then I thought it was, now people are saying it's bullshit. 0.99

02:35:56.000 What do you mean? 0.99

02:35:56.000 Remember when they found that alien, like they showed the alien that they found? 0.99

02:36:01.000 What is this one?

02:36:02.000 Did I miss this one?

02:36:03.000 The government came out and said that they literally made a statement saying we have alien matter.

02:36:10.000 I didn't...

02:36:12.000 What Grush said about biologics, I think is what he was getting at.

02:36:15.000 Oh, you're talking about the whistleblower who got in front of...

02:36:20.000 Was it Congress?

02:36:20.000 Yeah.

02:36:21.000 That he got in front of?

02:36:22.000 Yeah.

02:36:23.000 See...

02:36:25.000 Those things are interesting because it's all just talk until they could show you something.

02:36:30.000 But they showed something.

02:36:31.000 Uh-uh.

02:36:32.000 Didn't they?

02:36:33.000 No, there's no bodies.

02:36:34.000 They didn't show any bodies.

02:36:34.000 I thought they showed something.

02:36:35.000 I mean, maybe they have something.

02:36:37.000 Around the same time than that story hit of the, excuse me, not only the Vegas story, but like the Mexican mummy that they had that was like that little tiny thing. 0.99

02:36:46.000 Yeah, but that was bullshit. 0.92

02:36:47.000 I know, but I'm just saying they all hit the news at the same time. 0.99

02:36:48.000 Is the Vegas story the backyard where the kid calls and he's staring at something and he gets frozen in his place?

02:36:53.000 Yeah, and there's like some image in the backyard that you can see on film that they've run through like CGI to try to figure out whether or not it's fake, run through AI rather.

02:37:03.000 And they don't think it's fake, but it doesn't mean that it's not like a dude in a costume or something.

02:37:08.000 It's like you're just fucking, you're just hanging out in your backyard and the aliens just happen to land there real quick and take off. 0.98

02:37:14.000 That one hit me. 0.99

02:37:15.000 I was following up for days, and they didn't follow up with them.

02:37:18.000 Well, the family's probably undocumented, because it seems like some of them at least are probably not documented.

02:37:24.000 They weren't speaking English, right?

02:37:26.000 Wasn't that the case?

02:37:27.000 No, I mean, the kid was, because he called 911, they play the call.

02:37:30.000 Am I thinking of the same one?

02:37:33.000 Was there a bunch of people that were speaking Spanish?

02:37:35.000 Or was it a different one?

02:37:36.000 Cops go with body cams. 1.00

02:37:37.000 Maybe they don't want the attention because then people were showing up at their house.

02:37:41.000 Maybe they really legitimately did see it and they got freaked out. 0.99

02:37:45.000 Who fucking knows, man? 0.98

02:37:46.000 But individual things that happen like that, if it did happen, nobody would fucking believe you. 0.99

02:37:51.000 Just like a ghost story. 0.96

02:37:53.000 If you went out to let your dog out, you're like, come on, buddy.

02:37:56.000 Gotta take a leak.

02:37:56.000 You take him outside.

02:37:59.000 And you're staring eye to eye with this four foot tall creature with giant black eyes.

02:38:04.000 And it's standing in front of this transparent glowing orb that it just stepped out of. 0.99

02:38:10.000 And you're sitting there going, what the fuck? 1.00

02:38:14.000 Yeah, and you're now crazy. 1.00

02:38:15.000 And then it gets back into that thing and... 1.00

02:38:18.000 And disappears into the cosmos, and you're like, what the fuck, man? 0.98

02:38:22.000 And who do you even tell? 0.99

02:38:24.000 If you tell me, I'll go, okay, what is that stuff you said you were taking?

02:38:28.000 How much do you take on a normal day?

02:38:30.000 What was yesterday like?

02:38:32.000 That person would be deemed crazy.

02:38:33.000 Are you stressed out?

02:38:35.000 Problem with your lady? 1.00

02:38:36.000 What's going on?

02:38:37.000 You're seeing things.

02:38:39.000 But if it is a thing that's just uncommon, but happens, That would be the wildest one.

02:38:45.000 Of all the possibilities, of all the things that it could be, the wildest one, it would be, this is an actual life form that occasionally visits.

02:38:53.000 Yeah.

02:38:54.000 I saw something I didn't know what it was once.

02:38:56.000 I was driving at night on the highway. 0.99

02:38:59.000 Was it a vagina? 1.00

02:39:02.000 You got me. 0.99

02:39:04.000 Where were you?

02:39:06.000 I don't know.

02:39:11.000 I was driving home from a show, but I wasn't far from home, maybe less than two hours away.

02:39:17.000 I know that.

02:39:17.000 And I saw the light...

02:39:19.000 The sky didn't light up, like a flash of light that lit up the sky.

02:39:26.000 But it came from as far as my eyes could believe that the distance of my eyes could see.

02:39:32.000 It was really far away.

02:39:34.000 I was like, oh, what was that?

02:39:35.000 And then in like...

02:39:37.000 A fraction of a second later, it flashed again, and it was half the distance.

02:39:42.000 And then one more time, like, I mean, like, one second later, it flashed, and it was like, the flash was where I was, and then there was no more flashes after that.

02:39:50.000 Wow.

02:39:51.000 Yeah, and my girlfriend was in the passenger seat, but she was sleeping, and I woke her right up after that. 0.71

02:39:56.000 Oh, my God.

02:39:56.000 I actually was looking around at other cars this evening.

02:39:58.000 I was going to pull over and say, like, did you just see what I just saw?

02:40:01.000 But nobody, like, really stopped.

02:40:02.000 I didn't stop either, but I can't explain it.

02:40:05.000 How long ago was this?

02:40:06.000 Um, I would say maybe a little less than ten years.

02:40:11.000 Seven, eight years ago, maybe?

02:40:13.000 Yeah, I can't explain it.

02:40:14.000 I really can't.

02:40:14.000 I know what it's not.

02:40:16.000 I know I wasn't seeing things, you know?

02:40:18.000 It wasn't like, oh, there was a building or this light flashing.

02:40:21.000 It was distinct.

02:40:22.000 It was something I hadn't seen before, like the way that the light came.

02:40:25.000 I think it's probably some kid on some planet somewhere with a drone who's having a good old time.

02:40:31.000 Like a laser pen?

02:40:32.000 Yeah, he's probably doing a reality TV show for TruTV and Alpha Centauri.

02:40:38.000 I mean, imagine if what we're seeing is just kids' toys.

02:40:42.000 Enough people say, yeah, right.

02:40:43.000 Kids' toys.

02:40:44.000 No one even cares about what the humans are doing, but kids do.

02:40:47.000 Sometimes kids will send a drone down here, check it out.

02:40:50.000 That's so possible.

02:40:52.000 It's so possible.

02:40:53.000 It's also possible, the more time goes on, the more I look at those little greys, I'm like, why are we even assuming those things are alive? 1.00

02:41:01.000 The what?

02:41:02.000 The grey aliens? 0.99

02:41:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

02:41:04.000 Why are we even assuming those things aren't some robot?

02:41:06.000 Like, we're real close to making robots.

02:41:09.000 Right.

02:41:09.000 Like, super-duper close.

02:41:11.000 And why would you risk sending a person or a living thing across the galaxy at a fucking billion miles an hour when you can just... 0.95

02:41:20.000 Just use a little robot people. 0.96

02:41:22.000 They're really good now.

02:41:23.000 Like giant heads.

02:41:24.000 They don't talk. 1.00

02:41:25.000 They can't fuck. 1.00

02:41:26.000 And you get these little robot guys to go and collect sperm samples from people and fucking take them up into the spaceship and run experiments on them and then drop them back off. 1.00

02:41:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:41:35.000 Maybe they're all robots.

02:41:38.000 That could be true, too.

02:41:39.000 Yeah.

02:41:39.000 Yeah, that could be the future of intelligent species.

02:41:41.000 They all become some sort of electronic thing.

02:41:45.000 Yeah, that sounds terrible for us, but if you were being objective, you'd go, I could see how that could be possible.

02:41:56.000 If I start thinking about this stuff, like, you know, if I can't sleep or something, I start thinking about this stuff.

02:42:01.000 I'm in the age right now where I'm having, like, that full-on existential thing happening.

02:42:06.000 Like, never happened before, but it's all the time now where I'm just like, what is going on here?

02:42:12.000 Yeah, that's most people's lives, man.

02:42:15.000 That's how most people think.

02:42:17.000 It's weird.

02:42:18.000 Just wondering what the future will be.

02:42:20.000 Someone will be around to see it.

02:42:22.000 Someone in our lineage will be around to see it.

02:42:25.000 Hopefully.

02:42:26.000 Or not.

02:42:27.000 That's the thing.

02:42:28.000 Eventually it's going to be not.

02:42:30.000 Everyone wants to look at big picture, but really look at big picture.

02:42:33.000 This sun is going to wipe us out.

02:42:35.000 We're not going to make it.

02:42:37.000 We're going to get to a certain point, whether it's a billion years from now or whatever they think it's going to be, where the earth is no longer habitable.

02:42:43.000 That's just going to happen.

02:42:45.000 So when we're like, oh god, that's so far away.

02:42:47.000 Well, so is 100 years, because you're not going to make it to that either. 0.96

02:42:50.000 So let's fucking, we got now. 0.97

02:42:54.000 We're in a good spot. 0.99

02:42:54.000 We got now. 0.99

02:42:55.000 We're in a good spot right now.

02:42:56.000 I think, because I don't know if this is like just historically this happens when everyone feels this, but like, I'm actually like, I'm really nervous about the AI. I really am.

02:43:06.000 I just feel like this could be the precipice of the next, like just the next, you know, what life becomes.

02:43:13.000 Not just the next thing, but who takes advantage of it and how.

02:43:17.000 Right.

02:43:18.000 It's like this newfound power.

02:43:20.000 It's going to be so different than anything else you've ever experienced before and who's in control of it.

02:43:26.000 And it's the second most feeling of unsafeness besides war.

02:43:29.000 It's up there with war.

02:43:31.000 You feel unsafe right now.

02:43:34.000 I feel unsafe in my lifetime unsafe.

02:43:38.000 I don't know.

02:43:39.000 Yeah, it's very different than anything that's ever happened before.

02:43:43.000 Because within a short amount of time, it's going to be a real problem.

02:43:47.000 It's going to be a real thing that's smarter than us.

02:43:49.000 We're not going to be the smartest thing.

02:43:51.000 Now, if we just stopped right now and pulled the plug, who knows?

02:43:54.000 Maybe we'll be okay.

02:43:56.000 We might not be okay if this thing keeps going.

02:43:59.000 Or we might be.

02:43:59.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

02:44:01.000 It's like everyone says that.

02:44:02.000 Everyone says that.

02:44:04.000 They'll never stop.

02:44:06.000 Well, I think the problem is the Chinese government and the Russian government are not going to stop.

02:44:11.000 And for us to stop right now would be very dangerous. 0.98

02:44:15.000 If China becomes the first to be able to utilize this incredible power Just do whatever the fuck they want whenever the fuck they want and then it gets better and better and better under the power of this thing, right? 0.95

02:44:30.000 That's that's not acceptable either, but then the problem is It's attached to weapon systems and if it's attached to weapon systems and all it has is like it has a Desired outcome that it's trying to achieve And this desired outcome. 0.97

02:44:47.000 It's not thinking about morals or ethics or how many people are going to die and how many innocent people are going to die.

02:44:52.000 What's the most effective way to ensure victory?

02:44:56.000 And it's going to just do that.

02:44:58.000 And that's going to be horrendous.

02:45:00.000 And if someone from another country decides to do that first, that could be a giant problem real quick because all it would take is dismantling our grid. 1.00

02:45:10.000 That's it. 0.99

02:45:12.000 All it would take with that and we're fucked. 0.99

02:45:14.000 It's funny that there's no... 0.99

02:45:16.000 Everyone knows the theory of how it turns on us, even the people in positions that are racing to get this technology.

02:45:23.000 Yeah, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, man.

02:45:26.000 But it's like, yeah, that's it.

02:45:27.000 I mean, it's either, I guess, don't be the one to get it, or just, you know...

02:45:31.000 In a way, this thing that could destroy everything, I mean, it's for protection.

02:45:37.000 If we don't keep doing it, we're unprotected.

02:45:39.000 It's basically the same argument that we have when we created the nuclear bomb.

02:45:43.000 Right.

02:45:44.000 Same argument, right?

02:45:45.000 We have to do it for the Nazis, too. 1.00

02:45:47.000 The Nazis get this first, we're all fucked. 1.00

02:45:49.000 Yeah, this is what I'm saying. 1.00

02:45:51.000 War, it's like a nuclear bomb.

02:45:52.000 It feels like a ticking time bomb, it really does.

02:45:54.000 I know.

02:45:55.000 With everything you read, and it's like, oh, Congress is not ahead of it.

02:46:00.000 That's what I'm worried about.

02:46:02.000 Any type of regulations and stuff.

02:46:04.000 Well, I did a podcast the other day about it, and I think part of the problem is they can't really be.

02:46:10.000 There's no way they can know everything about everything.

02:46:12.000 There's too many things going on in the world.

02:46:14.000 You know, if you want to ask them about cobalt mining in the Congo, and also ask them about overfishing in the ocean, and also ask them about the negative side effects of oil spills, and also ask them what's going on with pharmaceutical drugs, and there's no way any congressperson...

02:46:31.000 Yeah, gun control.

02:46:32.000 There's no way. 0.98

02:46:33.000 There's no fucking way they're going to be in charge of oil. 0.97

02:46:35.000 And what are your thoughts on the border? 0.98

02:46:37.000 And also, what are your thoughts on, you know, what about seed oils?

02:46:41.000 It's just plugging holes. 0.91

02:46:43.000 Yeah, there's no fucking way you can be really well read on all those subjects and be objective. 0.96

02:46:50.000 Yeah, so they can't keep up. 0.98

02:46:51.000 They don't know what the fuck is going on and it's happening and all these super nerds are out there coding and banging away at it. 0.75

02:46:57.000 And they're about to release ChatGPT 5.0, which is going to be the craziest of all crazy ones. 0.96

02:47:05.000 Of all the ones that have happened before, each one of them is more insane than one before.

02:47:10.000 And ChatGPT4 is pretty fucking insane. 0.84

02:47:12.000 And then 4.0 is pretty fucking insane. 0.97

02:47:16.000 And when 5.0 comes out, 4.0 talks to you like a girl. 0.88

02:47:20.000 I have not interacted with it at all, not one time.

02:47:22.000 So I don't really know.

02:47:24.000 I see people making images and stuff.

02:47:26.000 I'll write a joke and write me an email. 0.84

02:47:29.000 I've seen that weird shit where it's like, no, but I love you. 0.96

02:47:31.000 So those stories that came out, it was like, It felt ominous, you know, like the exchanges, like the emails or whatever. 0.98

02:47:38.000 But I haven't really gone past that.

02:47:42.000 But it feels like you actually have to.

02:47:45.000 You're worse off if you don't kind of get acclimated with it.

02:47:47.000 I kind of get forced to pay attention to it because of this show and because of my friends like Duncan, who's really, really into it.

02:47:53.000 Duncan uses AI all the time.

02:47:55.000 If he was hanging out with you, he would take your voice, Record you while you're sitting there talking.

02:48:00.000 They would run it through AI, and then he would type up a bunch of stuff for AI to say, like really embarrassing things, and then he would say, Sal, why'd you send me this?

02:48:09.000 And then we'll just start playing.

02:48:11.000 Are you serious?

02:48:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:48:12.000 He did it to Tony the other day.

02:48:14.000 It was hilarious. 0.95

02:48:16.000 But that's ridiculous. 0.54

02:48:17.000 I saw on a forum or something, someone sent me, someone took my voice And made it the Michael Jackson Bad album. 0.80

02:48:27.000 And they sent it out.

02:48:29.000 It's my voice singing bad by Michael Jackson.

02:48:34.000 Good, but it's my voice.

02:48:36.000 And it sounds like me to me.

02:48:39.000 And I was like, this is such a... 0.99

02:48:41.000 I remember I was playing, I was doing laundry, I hit play and I was like, this is fucking nuts! 0.97

02:48:46.000 And that is going to be a living thing soon. 0.97

02:48:50.000 That's going to be another Sal.

02:48:52.000 That's going to be another Bobby Lee. 0.99

02:48:54.000 That's going to be whoever the fuck they want to make it. 0.96

02:48:56.000 You're going to be able to make people that sound and look and behave exactly like that. 0.98

02:49:01.000 But we're going to be able to bring Rodney Dangerfield back from the dead and he's going to go on tour as a robot.

02:49:07.000 I'd see it.

02:49:08.000 I'd see it for sure.

02:49:09.000 Yeah.

02:49:10.000 I would.

02:49:11.000 I just want to see what it's like.

02:49:13.000 That'd be weird.

02:49:14.000 Imagine you brought Lenny Bruce back from the dead, but you didn't let him write new material, and he just bombed.

02:49:19.000 Ha ha ha ha!

02:49:20.000 Ha ha ha ha!

02:49:22.000 Like, this is the guy we'd all go to see him.

02:49:26.000 And, you know, he's, like, stuck in 1965. He still thinks he's, hey, dig.

02:49:32.000 You know?

02:49:33.000 And he just gets on stage.

02:49:34.000 He's getting arrested for those jokes that people, like, nowadays, they're just like...

02:49:37.000 Now it's nonsense.

02:49:39.000 It's my grandfather out there.

02:49:39.000 Yeah, it's so easy.

02:49:41.000 That's funny, man.

02:49:42.000 Yeah, because in the context of his time, what he was saying was revolutionary.

02:49:46.000 Like, what is this guy saying?

02:49:47.000 But it's hard for us to recognize that wasn't that long ago, man.

02:49:52.000 Not even at all, right?

02:49:53.000 Wasn't that like 60, 70 years ago?

02:49:55.000 That guy was getting arrested?

02:49:59.000 For telling jokes?

02:50:00.000 Yeah.

02:50:01.000 And then talking about certain things on stage?

02:50:04.000 It's hard to imagine that society's changed that much in such a short amount of time.

02:50:09.000 Is it the 50s?

02:50:10.000 Well, he was around in the 60s, too.

02:50:13.000 Like, when did he start getting arrested is the good question.

02:50:17.000 I feel like it was...

02:50:19.000 60s, I don't think so.

02:50:22.000 He couldn't be still getting arrested then.

02:50:24.000 I think he died in the 60s.

02:50:25.000 I think he died of a heroin overdose.

02:50:30.000 Who's arrested the Jazz Workshop in San Francisco in 1961 for using sexually explicit language.

02:50:35.000 Although he was acquitted, law enforcement agencies put him under greater scrutiny, resulting in drug arrests in Philadelphia and Los Angeles.

02:50:42.000 So they just started going after him.

02:50:44.000 And he did do a lot of heroin, apparently.

02:50:48.000 I think that's also how he died.

02:50:50.000 I think he died from heroin.

02:50:52.000 And I think he died in the middle of the trials.

02:50:54.000 They were just constantly going after him.

02:50:57.000 In the end, it was really sad because there's some recordings of him on stage where he's not even doing comedy.

02:51:03.000 He's just reading from his legal papers and talking about his case.

02:51:06.000 Wow.

02:51:07.000 So people come to see him and he would just rant about his case.

02:51:10.000 It was sad.

02:51:11.000 I have a bunch of them.

02:51:12.000 You always see his albums in the thrift stores and stuff.

02:51:15.000 When you go to the record store, the used ones, they're always just a few bucks.

02:51:19.000 There's so many of them.

02:51:20.000 Yeah.

02:51:21.000 I always swipe everywhere on the road, if there's a record store, I'll swipe any comedy albums I can get.

02:51:26.000 Whoever.

02:51:27.000 Old, not this, that.

02:51:28.000 And they're always just like...

02:51:29.000 There's the same ones you see that are readily available all the time.

02:51:34.000 No matter where you are, there's always like 10 rapping Rodneys.

02:51:38.000 You know what I mean?

02:51:38.000 Right.

02:51:40.000 Or that Eddie album that you see everywhere.

02:51:43.000 You see Sunset Strip.

02:51:44.000 You see that everywhere.

02:51:45.000 Oh, yeah.

02:51:46.000 Yeah.

02:51:46.000 But I got, I mean, I got Pat Cooper, Alan King, every, you know.

02:51:50.000 Oh, wow.

02:51:51.000 You know, what's his name?

02:51:54.000 Dick Gregory.

02:51:55.000 Oh, okay.

02:51:56.000 Yeah.

02:51:56.000 Red Fox.

02:51:57.000 It's great.

02:51:58.000 Come on, put him on.

02:51:58.000 It's like, you don't think to listen to these people, and it's like, it's out there.

02:52:03.000 You know what I mean?

02:52:03.000 It's also like a time machine.

02:52:05.000 Yeah.

02:52:05.000 You get to peer into a time in, like, the 1960s where someone's on stage in some comedy club in a different universe.

02:52:14.000 Like, the world's different.

02:52:15.000 Everything's different then.

02:52:16.000 Thank you.

02:52:17.000 Like, the reality's different.

02:52:18.000 It's the middle of the Vietnam War.

02:52:20.000 Everything's different.

02:52:21.000 Yeah.

02:52:21.000 They're on stage.

02:52:22.000 You kind of hear it in the recording.

02:52:24.000 It's like baked into it, it feels.

02:52:25.000 You know what I mean?

02:52:26.000 Like, whether it's just what you know you're listening to or just the way they recorded it.

02:52:30.000 Like, I actually really like listening to the crowds on the records as well.

02:52:34.000 It's different.

02:52:35.000 It sounds and feels different.

02:52:36.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:52:37.000 Yeah, how they react and stuff.

02:52:38.000 They're different people, man.

02:52:40.000 Yeah.

02:52:40.000 I mean, their context, the civilization they lived in was just so different.

02:52:44.000 It's so little access to information.

02:52:47.000 The difference between people then and now is so vast in terms of how much we know about stuff, how much information we have about stuff.

02:52:54.000 And back then it was wild.

02:52:56.000 That kind of comedy was only a few decades old.

02:52:59.000 It was wild, man.

02:53:01.000 There's a great series of recordings from Richard Pryor at Red Fox's Comedy Club in L.A. And I bought them once at a gas station.

02:53:11.000 They just had them in like the cassette things where you could buy them. 0.99

02:53:14.000 And they're fucking great, man. 0.99

02:53:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:53:16.000 And they're just these recordings of like Richard Pryor fucking around, making up material, working the crowd. 0.99

02:53:23.000 You hear like ice and glasses and everything. 0.98

02:53:26.000 I love it.

02:53:26.000 That's exactly what I was talking about.

02:53:27.000 That's the kind of thing I love.

02:53:28.000 I love hearing that.

02:53:29.000 Oh, it's so cool.

02:53:30.000 Yeah, it's so cool.

02:53:31.000 Clinking and the clanking and the shaking and stuff.

02:53:35.000 It's its own thing.

02:53:38.000 You've seen the Pryor's Tonight Show, right?

02:53:40.000 Yeah, sure.

02:53:42.000 It's just like totally clean cut.

02:53:45.000 Yeah.

02:53:46.000 I know.

02:53:47.000 It was like, wow.

02:53:48.000 I know.

02:53:48.000 It's kind of weird.

02:53:49.000 It's kind of weird seeing that.

02:53:51.000 Yeah.

02:53:52.000 Well, that was also George Carlin.

02:53:54.000 George Carlin's early days, he was real clean cut and clean jokes.

02:53:58.000 Oh, I haven't seen early, early.

02:53:59.000 Yeah, he wore a suit and a tie.

02:54:01.000 Yeah.

02:54:01.000 See if you can find early George Carlin.

02:54:04.000 Yeah, you'd look at me like, no way.

02:54:06.000 That's the hippie guy?

02:54:06.000 Yeah.

02:54:07.000 Like, no way.

02:54:08.000 Yeah.

02:54:08.000 I got to, I don't know his material, though.

02:54:10.000 I don't know what it was like, the early material.

02:54:11.000 Very clean, very, like, regular comedy.

02:54:15.000 Look at him. 1.00

02:54:18.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:54:24.000 That same eyebrow thing. 0.99

02:54:34.000 Sister 5. That's the big scene, when they finally get to him, and you always see exactly how the cowboys prepare for this attack.

02:54:45.000 Now pull them wagons around the circle.

02:54:46.000 Get them old ladies up there loading up their weapons. 1.00

02:54:47.000 Come on, now tear up their petticoats. 1.00

02:54:48.000 Use them for bandages.

02:54:49.000 Get that water up there.

02:54:50.000 It's sand, sand.

02:54:51.000 Big hassle.

02:54:52.000 We never see how the Indians prepare.

02:54:57.000 That's their attack, right?

02:54:59.000 Now, the Indians were good fighters.

02:55:01.000 Just because they started in Massachusetts and wound up defending Malibu doesn't mean they're...

02:55:10.000 We really didn't play the game with them.

02:55:13.000 As I say, the Indians were good fighters, and if this is so, they must have been well organized.

02:55:19.000 There must have been a way to divide their manpower.

02:55:21.000 It wasn't just one old chief, many moon come chucked on, a lot of guys running.

02:55:27.000 Get it.

02:55:28.000 Not bad.

02:55:28.000 Yeah.

02:55:29.000 Interesting.

02:55:30.000 Yeah, I mean, that premise was, you know...

02:55:32.000 Yeah, interesting.

02:55:33.000 Interesting premise.

02:55:33.000 Did you ever see him, meet him, know him?

02:55:35.000 Yes.

02:55:36.000 I met him at the comedy store, and I saw him perform a bunch of times live.

02:55:40.000 Yeah, I saw him twice.

02:55:41.000 I saw him live when I was a kid, when I was 21, when I first started doing stand-up.

02:55:45.000 Wow.

02:55:45.000 I saw him live in New Hampshire, and he bawled.

02:55:47.000 Really?

02:55:49.000 Six, seven years later.

02:55:50.000 Seven years later, look at him. 0.99

02:55:52.000 Dirty hippie. 1.00

02:55:52.000 Found out about hippie pussy. 1.00

02:55:54.000 Revolution. 1.00

02:55:54.000 He's like, hey, I'm playing the game wrong. 1.00

02:55:58.000 Probably did a little acid. 1.00

02:56:00.000 Like, what am I doing with this fucking stupid tie on? 1.00

02:56:02.000 I mean, that is a coast-to-coast transformation right there. 1.00

02:56:05.000 Real quick, too.

02:56:06.000 Yeah.

02:56:07.000 Just a couple years.

02:56:07.000 A few years, yeah.

02:56:08.000 What did you look like five years ago?

02:56:09.000 Pretty similar.

02:56:10.000 So that was 65 to what?

02:56:11.000 I think it was August 31st, 65 to March of 72. That's crazy.

02:56:19.000 I mean, he's nearly unrecognizable.

02:56:22.000 Yeah.

02:56:22.000 He also looks way older.

02:56:24.000 Yeah.

02:56:25.000 That doesn't look like a seven-year...

02:56:26.000 Acid.

02:56:28.000 That's all that acid eating you out from the inside.

02:56:33.000 Yeah, he aged hard, I guess.

02:56:35.000 Yeah, that's pretty nuts.

02:56:36.000 One of the greats.

02:56:37.000 Yeah, man.

02:56:38.000 Yeah, I mean, without all those guys, I mean, that's what's really interesting about the art form.

02:56:42.000 Without guys like Lenny Bruce and George Carlin, just a few people, it's just a handful of people.

02:56:47.000 Richard Pryor, handful of people.

02:56:50.000 Red Fox, what would this be now?

02:56:52.000 What would it be?

02:56:53.000 It's kind of crazy.

02:56:54.000 Rickles, I would put in that.

02:56:54.000 Yeah, Rickles, sure, definitely Rickles, right?

02:56:56.000 Rickles is like the original roaster.

02:56:58.000 What an animal that guy was.

02:57:00.000 I have a photograph in my living room that he autographed to me right now.

02:57:05.000 It's like a prize.

02:57:06.000 If there's a flyer, it's the first name of Grant.

02:57:08.000 Got to meet him.

02:57:09.000 That's amazing.

02:57:10.000 He was awesome.

02:57:11.000 Yeah, he was so nice.

02:57:12.000 He was so kind to us.

02:57:13.000 Animal on stage.

02:57:15.000 The tacks with jokes. 0.83

02:57:16.000 Attacking people.

02:57:17.000 Insane.

02:57:17.000 Yeah.

02:57:18.000 And for the time, man, that guy was awesome.

02:57:21.000 Murderer.

02:57:21.000 Nobody was like him back then.

02:57:22.000 I saw him live within the last five, six, seven years of his life.

02:57:26.000 I saw him in Atlantic City, which was great.

02:57:27.000 He came in from the back with the horns and everything.

02:57:30.000 Before he even got to the stage, it was 20 minutes of insulting people before he got to the stage.

02:57:35.000 It was great.

02:57:36.000 It was amazing.

02:57:37.000 Didn't hold back.

02:57:38.000 And then I saw him again later.

02:57:41.000 I saw him like two years before he died up at Westbury in Long Island.

02:57:44.000 And he sat in a chair for this one, but he still did two hours.

02:57:48.000 Wow.

02:57:49.000 That's awesome.

02:57:50.000 Yeah.

02:57:50.000 That's awesome.

02:57:51.000 And then I got to go backstage, and it was like frickin' midnight.

02:57:54.000 And he was with his wife and one other couple.

02:57:56.000 And he let me come in and spent like...

02:57:59.000 You know when the people come in, like, you gotta leave, like, helping him out?

02:58:02.000 Yeah.

02:58:02.000 He kept waving him off, and he, like, talked to me for, like, a good ten minutes.

02:58:06.000 Oh, that's great.

02:58:06.000 Yeah.

02:58:07.000 I wish I saw him live. 0.99

02:58:09.000 There's a few guys that are like, damn it. 0.98

02:58:11.000 You know, I'm missing him live. 1.00

02:58:14.000 Shit. 1.00

02:58:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:58:15.000 Saw Kinnison live quite a few times.

02:58:17.000 Oh, wow.

02:58:17.000 I saw Kinnison live at least three.

02:58:20.000 At least three times.

02:58:21.000 I saw him once live at Great Woods, which is like this outside concert area.

02:58:27.000 And then I saw him live at this...

02:58:29.000 I saw his career start to slump.

02:58:32.000 I saw it in real time.

02:58:34.000 Even though I was still a huge Kinnison fan... 0.76

02:58:37.000 The second time I saw him, I was at this like shitty kind of casino-y place.

02:58:42.000 It wasn't that good.

02:58:43.000 It wasn't packed.

02:58:45.000 And then the third time was kind of the same thing.

02:58:47.000 You were a comic, though.

02:58:49.000 Yeah, I was just starting out.

02:58:51.000 But you went to a show.

02:58:52.000 Maybe I wasn't a comic yet.

02:58:54.000 Like maybe I was thinking about doing comedy.

02:58:56.000 It was pretty close.

02:58:57.000 It was like maybe right before I did comedy. 0.85

02:59:01.000 But he went from 86, where he was on top of the fucking world, to like 88, it had already started to kind of fall apart. 0.77

02:59:08.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:59:09.000 It was wild how quick it happened.

02:59:10.000 Yeah, wow.

02:59:11.000 Like he had this one amazing album and one amazing HBO special.

02:59:18.000 And those two were like his best things ever.

02:59:22.000 And then everything after that is just too much partying and blowing.

02:59:25.000 Just got caught up in the life and the material wasn't that well thought out anymore.

02:59:31.000 His brother wrote about it in his book. 0.98

02:59:34.000 If you read Brother Sam, it's a fucking great book. 0.99

02:59:37.000 Bill Kennison wrote it. 0.98

02:59:38.000 Really, if you're a fan of comedy, it's a really good book. 0.96

02:59:40.000 It just tells you how this fucking wild man, like how different he was. 0.98

02:59:44.000 Just plummeted. 0.99

02:59:46.000 How long was he at that height?

02:59:48.000 I think it was a few years.

02:59:50.000 I think before he got discovered, like before Rodney, I bet from everything that I've heard from people that were around back then, he became a monster.

03:00:01.000 He was already a monster from the beginning because he had been a tent revival preacher. 1.00

03:00:07.000 So he was a tent revival preacher who knew how to do stand-up.

03:00:11.000 I mean, what an advantage.

03:00:13.000 What an advantage.

03:00:15.000 It's like teaching a gymnast jiu-jitsu.

03:00:19.000 They're so strong already.

03:00:21.000 They're so flexible.

03:00:22.000 They have a giant advantage.

03:00:23.000 I wonder how long it took him to get to that voice of screaming and stuff.

03:00:29.000 I think he had it from the tent revival days, because there's recordings of him doing sermons, and he would do it like that!

03:00:39.000 It's like really powerful stuff, and that's a form of show business, clearly.

03:00:43.000 And he was really good at it, and so he was the first guy.

03:00:46.000 I've never seen an old set from him or anything like that.

03:00:48.000 You've never seen an old set?

03:00:49.000 No, I've only seen him trench coat guy.

03:00:51.000 Okay. 0.99

03:00:51.000 But there's some that are online, you can find on YouTube, but him with like a leather jacket on and a comb-over, it looks like shit. 0.99

03:00:57.000 Wow. 0.98

03:00:57.000 Before he started wearing the beret. 0.98

03:00:59.000 Yeah.

03:00:59.000 He used to have a comb-over, you know.

03:01:01.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

03:01:01.000 Wouldn't shave the head, couldn't give in. 1.00

03:01:03.000 Right, right, right. 0.64

03:01:03.000 When he gave in back then, he wanted to be a rock and roll guy too, so he had long ass hair and like a bandana. 0.64

03:01:08.000 It was ridiculous. 0.97

03:01:09.000 So that was him in the early days. 0.92

03:01:10.000 Wow.

03:01:11.000 His last sermon.

03:01:12.000 In 82. Something I was just reading said he was an adored guy at the Comedy Store starting in 1980. So he probably broke off to make a little money doing a sermon.

03:01:22.000 But this is what it sounded like.

03:01:32.000 Get to the sermon part.

03:01:33.000 I don't want to hear any songs.

03:01:35.000 There's got to be some screen.

03:01:37.000 Is it mostly songs?

03:01:40.000 Here it goes.

03:01:49.000 Wow.

03:01:53.000 Amen.

03:02:06.000 So that was him just preaching.

03:02:09.000 It's so wild to hear that voice attached to that context.

03:02:13.000 It's wild. 0.99

03:02:14.000 You hear him and to hear him say it's a mindfuck. 0.99

03:02:18.000 And by then he was already doing blow, going crazy. 0.99

03:02:21.000 Was he already?

03:02:21.000 Yes!

03:02:22.000 He was already kissing. 1.00

03:02:24.000 You know, Kinnison was a wild fucking dude, man. 1.00

03:02:28.000 He was a wild dude. 1.00

03:02:30.000 Just through and through?

03:02:32.000 Got hit by a car when he was five years old.

03:02:34.000 Me too.

03:02:35.000 Four.

03:02:36.000 Four years old.

03:02:37.000 How bad?

03:02:38.000 Not too bad.

03:02:38.000 I was playing Frisbee with my dad, and I went to the hospital, but I didn't break anything or anything.

03:02:43.000 Did you get knocked out?

03:02:44.000 Yeah.

03:02:45.000 Yeah.

03:02:46.000 We were in a parking lot, 100% empty parking lot, like a VW post, like a veteran's post near my house where we used to play.

03:02:53.000 And we were just playing Frisbee, fully gated, with the only two people in that thing, only two objects in the thing were throwing this Frisbee.

03:03:01.000 And my dad's friend was walking down the block, so we went to the gate to talk to him.

03:03:05.000 And I was little.

03:03:06.000 I was, like I said, four.

03:03:08.000 And he threw the Frisbee and it went over there and I went to go get it.

03:03:11.000 And as I'm going, I see a station wagon pull in.

03:03:14.000 It came around the back.

03:03:16.000 So it's not even from the street.

03:03:17.000 It came in the back and turned around.

03:03:19.000 And it started driving that way.

03:03:21.000 And I'm little.

03:03:21.000 And I'm going to get the thing.

03:03:23.000 And I remember thinking, oh, it's still coming at me.

03:03:27.000 And I get to the Frisbee and I pick it up.

03:03:30.000 I'll never forget this.

03:03:31.000 I picked it up and I fumbled it and it dropped again.

03:03:33.000 And I so vividly remember saying, do I try to pick this up again or do I get out of the way?

03:03:41.000 Because I just remember thinking like, this person has to see me.

03:03:44.000 I'm the only object in front of him.

03:03:47.000 And I went to pick it up again and I woke up and my dad was running and I was in his arms.

03:03:53.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:03:54.000 Holy shit. 1.00

03:03:54.000 But it wasn't bad. 1.00

03:03:55.000 It wasn't bad.

03:03:56.000 I don't even know if I got concussed or anything like that.

03:03:59.000 You definitely got concussed if you're out cold.

03:04:01.000 Yeah.

03:04:02.000 Okay.

03:04:03.000 That was it.

03:04:05.000 I got to sue.

03:04:06.000 I got $5,000.

03:04:08.000 Nice.

03:04:09.000 To sue.

03:04:09.000 And I couldn't touch it until I was 18. Oh.

03:04:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:04:13.000 That's bullshit. 1.00

03:04:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:04:14.000 It was legal. 1.00

03:04:14.000 What'd you buy? 1.00

03:04:15.000 I don't know.

03:04:18.000 You don't remember?

03:04:19.000 It was like $12,500 when I got it.

03:04:22.000 That's what was left?

03:04:23.000 12,500.

03:04:24.000 Oh, oh, because the five got down.

03:04:26.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh.

03:04:28.000 I thought you meant 1,200.

03:04:29.000 No, no, 14 years of, I guess, you know, Jesus, I'm smoking.

03:04:35.000 Oh, that's amazing.

03:04:36.000 So all the interest.

03:04:37.000 Interest, there you go.

03:04:38.000 I have a bachelor's in finance.

03:04:40.000 I couldn't just think of that word just now.

03:04:42.000 And you didn't go and buy a nice car or something?

03:04:44.000 No, I didn't buy a nice car.

03:04:45.000 I don't know where it went.

03:04:47.000 It's free money.

03:04:47.000 You already took the hit.

03:04:49.000 I wish I knew where it went. 0.99

03:04:51.000 I wish I had a nice story to cap this fucking beautiful vodka. 0.98

03:04:56.000 I still have the book they gave me. 0.96

03:04:59.000 They would go, and you'd have to take it, and they'd put it under a stamp, and it would put the new price, the interest you made that month, the new price, and they would aggregate it.

03:05:10.000 It's a red Staten Island Savings Bank foldable thing.

03:05:13.000 So all through those years, it's like pages and pages and pages of the interest that they want.

03:05:19.000 I still have that.

03:05:20.000 Wow.

03:05:21.000 Yeah.

03:05:21.000 The old days, when you go to the bank...

03:05:23.000 Go to the bank.

03:05:24.000 Remember that?

03:05:25.000 Yeah.

03:05:25.000 Mom picked us up from school.

03:05:26.000 And you get a check cashed? 0.98

03:05:28.000 The bank was a knife through my heart, dude, because our bank was so fucking slow. 0.70

03:05:32.000 Every time when she got home, it was 40 minutes. 0.95

03:05:35.000 They have no motivation to move quickly.

03:05:36.000 40 minutes.

03:05:37.000 How's your day?

03:05:38.000 How's your day going?

03:05:39.000 Drive-thru.

03:05:39.000 We only need a drive-thru.

03:05:40.000 Oh, no.

03:05:41.000 That's what I mean.

03:05:42.000 That's even worse.

03:05:43.000 You see the line around.

03:05:44.000 Your car starts overheating.

03:05:46.000 You're like, no way.

03:05:47.000 It always did.

03:05:47.000 She had...

03:05:49.000 That car overheated.

03:05:50.000 It used to explode.

03:05:52.000 We used to drive down to the Jersey Shore in the summer.

03:05:54.000 We'd be in the backseat, bench seats, everything, right?

03:05:56.000 It's just my mom. 1.00

03:05:57.000 This thing's a fucking boat. 1.00

03:06:00.000 Bop, bop, bop! 1.00

03:06:01.000 And you're looking back, and it's shooting black smoke, shooting out of the tailpipe.

03:06:05.000 And she used to pull over.

03:06:07.000 Pull over on the parkway, open the hood, white smoke pouring out of the hood, stunk.

03:06:15.000 She used to get the coolant from the trunk, just pour the coolant in there. 0.98

03:06:18.000 And you gotta be careful when you're opening up the radiator.

03:06:20.000 Be careful. 0.99

03:06:21.000 Yeah, it's spraying and shit. 0.99

03:06:22.000 And like literally just kind of alleviated the problem as we drove. 0.99

03:06:26.000 Oh my God.

03:06:26.000 But the worst part was like when she was like, pick us up and stuff, and it would like backfire, because it was like, it backfired.

03:06:31.000 Like if you drove it, it was going to backfire.

03:06:34.000 So, like, coming to school and stuff, my mom said, she didn't mean to embass me, but, like, coming to school and that thing backfiring, and then the smoke blowing out, and then, like, just having to get in the car after that.

03:06:45.000 You know what I mean?

03:06:46.000 Like, everyone saw it, you know? 0.92

03:06:48.000 How many cars back then just fucking polluted everything they came in contact with? 0.71

03:06:53.000 Black smoke came out of every car. 0.97

03:06:54.000 Every car.

03:06:55.000 I think...

03:06:55.000 Before they came up with catalytic converters, it was a disaster.

03:06:59.000 I remember as a kid smelling the exhaust all the time.

03:07:03.000 All the time.

03:07:04.000 It was a normal smell.

03:07:05.000 Which lowers your IQ. It was a normal smell to smell.

03:07:09.000 It was. 1.00

03:07:09.000 That's why we're so dumb. 1.00

03:07:11.000 It's part of it. 0.99

03:07:12.000 Yeah.

03:07:13.000 Hey, thanks for being here, man.

03:07:15.000 Appreciate it, brother.

03:07:15.000 It was a lot of fun.

03:07:16.000 It was a lot of fun.

03:07:17.000 Let's definitely do this again.

03:07:18.000 And tell everybody, you're special.

03:07:19.000 It's on YouTube.

03:07:20.000 It's out right now.

03:07:21.000 It's out right now.

03:07:22.000 It's called Terrified.

03:07:23.000 Just search my name on YouTube.

03:07:24.000 And also today, my new tour went on sale, Everything's Fine Tour.

03:07:28.000 The first leg is 30 cities, so it's SavileCanoComedy.com.

03:07:31.000 Beautiful.

03:07:31.000 All right.

03:07:32.000 Thank you, brother.

03:07:32.000 Appreciate it.

03:07:33.000 A lot of fun.

03:07:33.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 31, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2159 - Sal Vulcano

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Transcript