The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2168

00:00:14.000 Oh, hey Joe Rogan.

00:00:15.000 What's going on?

00:00:16.000 Is there a left or right here or does it matter?

00:00:17.000 No, it's all mono.

00:00:19.000 What's cracking, brother?

00:00:20.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:21.000 Let me just get a little confidence here.

00:00:25.000 I'm so small, this is like a large coffee to me.

00:00:30.000 They'll make you pee.

00:00:31.000 That's one thing Nespresso's do.

00:00:33.000 I'm peeing right now, dude.

00:00:33.000 I'm just going to do the Biden.

00:00:34.000 Just let it out.

00:00:35.000 Ari peed in that seat three or four times yesterday.

00:00:39.000 Yesterday?

00:00:40.000 Yeah.

00:00:40.000 He pissed into Bud Light cans.

00:00:43.000 He's so disgusting.

00:00:45.000 Ari Shafir?

00:00:45.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:46.000 Every time he's here.

00:00:47.000 Oh, I didn't know he's here.

00:00:47.000 He pees into things.

00:00:49.000 I'm trying to get him to move here.

00:00:51.000 He's not going to.

00:00:52.000 He's a New York rat.

00:00:53.000 Yeah.

00:00:54.000 But he's here all the time.

00:00:55.000 I mean, he might as well live here.

00:00:56.000 He's here like four or five times a year.

00:00:59.000 Yeah, it's good enough.

00:01:01.000 He should.

00:01:02.000 He should move here.

00:01:04.000 He's so funny, man.

00:01:05.000 I love watching him at the Comedy Cellar.

00:01:07.000 Because he's one of the guys that just fucking goes for it.

00:01:10.000 Yeah, he definitely goes for it.

00:01:12.000 It's gotten him in a lot of trouble.

00:01:14.000 Yeah.

00:01:16.000 It all comes out in the wash, though, right?

00:01:18.000 Well, if you're talented.

00:01:20.000 Yeah.

00:01:20.000 And he's definitely talented.

00:01:22.000 He's just a wild boy.

00:01:23.000 I watch the crowd when he's on.

00:01:25.000 Because I like to see the crowd just slowly kind of...

00:01:28.000 He's working through stuff.

00:01:30.000 He gets messy.

00:01:30.000 I like that.

00:01:31.000 They put me and him on at the late, late shows now.

00:01:36.000 In the cellar?

00:01:36.000 Yeah.

00:01:38.000 What is New York's scene like these days?

00:01:42.000 Well, I'm here now.

00:01:44.000 We'll say that.

00:01:46.000 With an American flag on it.

00:01:49.000 This is what it does to you, man.

00:01:51.000 Dude, before I moved here, I was a 60-year-old Jamaican woman.

00:01:54.000 Look what Texas does to you.

00:01:56.000 It gets you in its bones.

00:01:57.000 It's just a fun thing to be.

00:01:59.000 It's fun to be a Texan.

00:02:00.000 Someone the other day on the street said, you look like Kid Rock fuck Zach Galifianakis.

00:02:04.000 I was like, yeah, that works.

00:02:07.000 Yeah, that tracks.

00:02:11.000 How long have you been out here now?

00:02:12.000 Oh, like two weeks.

00:02:14.000 Wow.

00:02:14.000 It's like a dream.

00:02:15.000 This has been a weird, including this, it's all a weird dream.

00:02:18.000 How long have you been doing stand-up now?

00:02:21.000 I mean, I got on stage when I was 17 or 18 in high school, started doing improv and stand-up on stage.

00:02:26.000 That's almost 20 years.

00:02:27.000 Oh, wow.

00:02:28.000 And then I went to college.

00:02:30.000 High school?

00:02:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:31.000 So I was failing out of high school.

00:02:33.000 I needed like a B to pass.

00:02:36.000 And I was friends with the acting teacher.

00:02:39.000 We would drink together.

00:02:41.000 What?

00:02:41.000 In high school?

00:02:42.000 Public school, brother.

00:02:42.000 Public school.

00:02:43.000 Wow.

00:02:43.000 Yeah.

00:02:44.000 We would drink together and smoke and I thought if I take his class, he's got to give me an A or I can get him sent to jail probably for all this bad behavior.

00:02:52.000 And so I took this acting class and I got on stage and he pulls me aside.

00:02:59.000 Like day one, he goes, this is what you need to do with your life.

00:03:02.000 Wow.

00:03:02.000 And I go, okay.

00:03:03.000 Okay.

00:03:03.000 Stop drinking.

00:03:04.000 Stop smoking.

00:03:05.000 I was like in a gang.

00:03:07.000 I was growing weed.

00:03:08.000 Yeah, I was a nightmare kid.

00:03:10.000 People think I'm just this nice little guy.

00:03:12.000 I was a fucking monster and getting on stage and I got all that energy out.

00:03:18.000 And it's what I've been doing every day since.

00:03:20.000 Wow.

00:03:21.000 Yeah.

00:03:22.000 That's cool that someone recognized that because most of the time they don't.

00:03:26.000 It takes one person.

00:03:27.000 It's insane.

00:03:28.000 It takes one person and, you know, that one person literally can change your life because you're in this part of your life where you're not, you don't know what the fuck you're gonna do.

00:03:37.000 No!

00:03:37.000 And then someone gives you a direction and they say, hey, You're really good at this.

00:03:42.000 This is your thing.

00:03:43.000 Oh my god, I found my thing.

00:03:46.000 That day you go home, you're like, I found my thing.

00:03:49.000 Yeah, he had us...

00:03:50.000 First class, we had to dance on stage.

00:03:53.000 He was like...

00:03:54.000 This guy was wild.

00:03:55.000 He goes, you're gonna fuck...

00:03:56.000 Oh, he was wild, dude.

00:03:57.000 He was a playwright.

00:03:58.000 He'd take the Metro-Northan from Connecticut, New Haven, to put on little plays.

00:04:02.000 And I just thought it was the sexiest thing.

00:04:05.000 It was like this guy was living in the 1920s or something.

00:04:08.000 Right, like a real artist.

00:04:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:10.000 And he goes, we're gonna humiliate ourselves day one.

00:04:13.000 He goes, it's gonna be so bad, so everything you do after this is gonna be a breeze.

00:04:19.000 And I've still used that to this day with stand-up.

00:04:22.000 You gotta get messy.

00:04:24.000 So he said, we're gonna go do the silliest dances.

00:04:26.000 I went home, I was practicing in the bathroom, just sweating, turning around.

00:04:31.000 I've never performed.

00:04:33.000 And I'd get on stage, and it'd be like, sillier, weirder, weirder!

00:04:36.000 Until you just had a mental breakdown.

00:04:38.000 And then after that, doing a little Shakespeare was fine.

00:04:42.000 Oh, that's an interesting strategy.

00:04:44.000 Yeah.

00:04:45.000 That makes sense.

00:04:46.000 It makes someone break you down and go, you're allowed to fuck up.

00:04:48.000 You're allowed to get messy.

00:04:49.000 Yeah.

00:04:50.000 And that's why I got a place here, because I went to your club, and I saw Brian Holtzman, and I go, wait a minute, you're allowed to do this?

00:05:00.000 Where you're allowed to say whatever you want?

00:05:03.000 Well, Brian Holtzman was like a hero of comedians in Los Angeles, but he didn't get good spots, unfortunately.

00:05:12.000 They put him on really late at the end of the show.

00:05:15.000 And it was a wild thing to watch.

00:05:17.000 You know, you're watching like 20, 30 people in the audience, this guy saying the most hilarious but yet horrific things.

00:05:24.000 And he just never got the respect that he deserves.

00:05:27.000 I've known Brian for, I guess, around 30 years now.

00:05:32.000 When we first started at the store, we were like young hotshots.

00:05:37.000 He was like this young, dark-haired, slick back, like really interesting guy.

00:05:44.000 Like really, like same style that he has now he had back then.

00:05:48.000 I can't imagine him with any more energy than he has now though.

00:05:52.000 It was the same.

00:05:53.000 As a young guy.

00:05:53.000 Oh, his energy has not waned at all, which is why he's so good.

00:05:57.000 You know, like, some people slow down.

00:06:00.000 It sucks.

00:06:01.000 It sucks to see.

00:06:03.000 Yeah.

00:06:03.000 You know, because they slow down, you're like, you don't want to say anything to them.

00:06:07.000 You know, like, hey, man, you got to pick it up.

00:06:09.000 Yeah.

00:06:09.000 Whatever the fuck you used to be, you got to bring that back.

00:06:11.000 Just turn it up a little bit.

00:06:12.000 Yeah, you're a little too casual up there.

00:06:15.000 I don't want to say lazy, but you're too tired.

00:06:19.000 Yeah.

00:06:19.000 You got to fire the fuck up.

00:06:21.000 Holtzman never lost that, that kind of, that fucking, you know, that fucking, when he gets crazy.

00:06:27.000 But he didn't have a show, like a real showcase.

00:06:31.000 He didn't have like a real, you know, like a real awesome spot.

00:06:36.000 Where he could perform in front of crowds that weren't tired and hadn't seen three hours of comedy.

00:06:41.000 So now we've got him headlining.

00:06:43.000 Yeah.

00:06:44.000 And people come to see him.

00:06:46.000 They know who he is.

00:06:47.000 They get excited.

00:06:48.000 People have seen him multiple times.

00:06:49.000 He's got a cult following here.

00:06:51.000 It's great.

00:06:51.000 He definitely does.

00:06:52.000 Yeah.

00:06:52.000 So that was it.

00:06:53.000 I saw him once.

00:06:53.000 And then I went to the open mic or whatever.

00:06:56.000 I was in town doing the Vulcan, I think.

00:06:59.000 And then I go, I'm going to try to get an audition.

00:07:01.000 Adam wasn't here.

00:07:02.000 Flew back.

00:07:03.000 Got the audition.

00:07:05.000 Then...

00:07:05.000 Did a couple spots, then did a guest spot on Holtzman Show, and then I was in the car in New York.

00:07:10.000 I pull over.

00:07:11.000 I'm just looking at apartments in Texas.

00:07:13.000 I just call the guy.

00:07:14.000 I go, hey, can I move there?

00:07:17.000 I made him an offer.

00:07:18.000 I made him an offer that was like insane.

00:07:21.000 I'm renting.

00:07:22.000 He literally goes, are you fucking with me, dude?

00:07:24.000 And the next day he goes, they took your offer.

00:07:27.000 And that was it.

00:07:28.000 Wow.

00:07:29.000 And it was like, I know Ron White calls it comedy camp.

00:07:32.000 It feels like that.

00:07:33.000 When I'm landing here, it feels like Camp David or something.

00:07:36.000 Yeah, Ari said it yesterday.

00:07:37.000 He said, you made a festival here every week.

00:07:40.000 It's like a festival.

00:07:41.000 It's a festival.

00:07:41.000 Yeah.

00:07:42.000 I wasn't sure if I'd made the right move, and then I'm on the plane, and it's Roseanne Barr, the next row back Sebastian Maniscalco, and I'm right behind him.

00:07:53.000 Wow.

00:07:53.000 And I was losing my fucking mind.

00:07:58.000 I was like, I'll go, this is it!

00:08:00.000 Yeah.

00:08:01.000 Well, whenever you don't know if you should do something, and you want to do something, but then you have that little, oh, I don't know, is this right?

00:08:09.000 You gotta always go for it.

00:08:11.000 You gotta do it.

00:08:11.000 You gotta go for it.

00:08:12.000 And you get better at that as you age, you know?

00:08:14.000 Yeah.

00:08:14.000 It's like, you have to, you gotta fuck up a lot, and they go, I'll fuck up a little less this time.

00:08:19.000 Yeah, the fuck up thing.

00:08:21.000 But it's also just like taking chances, going for things.

00:08:24.000 It's very important.

00:08:25.000 Every time I've ever done it, it's been good.

00:08:27.000 My whole life.

00:08:28.000 Every single time.

00:08:29.000 Whether it's first time going on stage, you know, even this, even like moving here.

00:08:33.000 Sure.

00:08:34.000 You know, because I have a family and I have a business, you know, like this podcast that requires guests.

00:08:40.000 Yeah.

00:08:40.000 I had all these people that already lived in LA. I had this built-in, you know, group of people that I would have on.

00:08:46.000 It's just like...

00:08:48.000 Coming out here, but I was like, this is the move.

00:08:51.000 And then opening the club, I was like, this is the move.

00:08:54.000 And it's going to be fucking annoying.

00:08:56.000 It's going to be a lot of energy, a lot of stuff going on, a lot of things to pay attention to, but that's what really needs to happen.

00:09:01.000 You get to practice your hour a couple times a week, and the road comes to you.

00:09:06.000 That's great.

00:09:06.000 That definitely helps a lot.

00:09:08.000 It just keeps you so much healthier.

00:09:10.000 It's crazy how much better you feel when you don't travel every week.

00:09:13.000 It's nuts.

00:09:15.000 I just started touring this year.

00:09:17.000 It wears you.

00:09:18.000 Holy shit.

00:09:19.000 It's like getting drunk.

00:09:20.000 It's like getting drunk, and then you have a show that night, and then you have another show, and then you fly home, and you get drunk flying home.

00:09:29.000 Because it feels like when you land, you're hungover.

00:09:32.000 Yeah.

00:09:33.000 He's just like, oh, why am I so worn the fuck out?

00:09:36.000 And with the heat here, man.

00:09:37.000 Yeah, you get used to that.

00:09:39.000 I understand Biden a little more.

00:09:41.000 I've been walking around just like, where am I? What is going on here?

00:09:44.000 Shit in my pants.

00:09:47.000 Ha.

00:09:48.000 You silly boy.

00:09:49.000 I was telling you before this, this mayoral race in San Francisco, this might be the end.

00:09:58.000 This might be, like, San Francisco is a failed city.

00:10:02.000 I mean, it really is.

00:10:04.000 But there's no better indication of how failed it is than listening to this debate.

00:10:09.000 Listening to these people argue about what's important in San Francisco.

00:10:13.000 This was on the Jesse Water Show.

00:10:15.000 You gotta listen to this.

00:10:17.000 Well, how many drag queens do you know?

00:10:20.000 You were at the debate last week and couldn't name any drag queens on your own.

00:10:27.000 I was wondering if you could have, this is an opportunity to redeem yourself, and if you could name three LGBTQ advisors for your campaign and three drag queens in San Francisco.

00:10:45.000 Just imagine.

00:10:46.000 Shut the fuck up.

00:10:47.000 And that was the thing she was gonna sit down on.

00:10:49.000 This is the actual current mayor of San Francisco.

00:10:53.000 London Breed.

00:10:54.000 That's her, right?

00:10:55.000 London Breed.

00:10:56.000 Yeah.

00:10:56.000 And she's like, can you name three drag queens?

00:11:00.000 Can you name three mentally ill men who dress up like the most tardish, caricaturist...

00:11:08.000 Like famous or just like Pixie that does the kid's story hour down at the library?

00:11:14.000 I know Lexis.

00:11:14.000 Lexis, yeah.

00:11:15.000 Lexis down at the club does the burlesque show.

00:11:18.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:11:20.000 Yeah.

00:11:20.000 No, sit back and enjoy.

00:11:22.000 This is...

00:11:22.000 Sit back and enjoy the show.

00:11:24.000 When wokeism just takes on this energy and it gets crazier and crazier.

00:11:30.000 I mean, look at the sexuality acronym.

00:11:33.000 It used to be gay and lesbian.

00:11:35.000 GL. It is...

00:11:37.000 Watching politicians have to recite that.

00:11:39.000 Oh, it's so amazing.

00:11:40.000 It's like they have a gun to their head.

00:11:42.000 Trudeau has them all down.

00:11:44.000 But my favorite is 2AI+. Plus is like, everybody's in this gang that's not a white male.

00:11:55.000 It's basically everything.

00:11:56.000 You mean the American flag?

00:11:57.000 That would be a great flag to represent everybody.

00:12:00.000 Biracial people of color.

00:12:01.000 There's so many different things.

00:12:04.000 Indigenous.

00:12:05.000 There's two-spirit.

00:12:07.000 Two-spirit's in there, which is my favorite.

00:12:09.000 I'm a two-spirit.

00:12:10.000 What the fuck are you?

00:12:12.000 Why not three?

00:12:12.000 Why not four?

00:12:14.000 Why not 45?

00:12:15.000 You're limiting yourself.

00:12:16.000 And then A, which is hilarious too, because how do they have any say?

00:12:21.000 They're asexual.

00:12:22.000 Asexual.

00:12:22.000 Like, how are they in there with the perverts?

00:12:25.000 How are they in there with the freaks?

00:12:26.000 How are they in there with the transgender people?

00:12:29.000 How are they in there with fucking guys wearing leather thongs and G-strings walking down the street with pride flags?

00:12:35.000 They're like, I don't want any part of this.

00:12:37.000 How are the A's in that?

00:12:39.000 They just don't want to fuck.

00:12:40.000 My friend came out as bisexual, this guy in New York, and he goes, well, I've been so oppressed.

00:12:46.000 I'm like, am I supposed to feel bad that you get to fuck everybody?

00:12:49.000 Really?

00:12:51.000 He's been oppressed, how so?

00:12:53.000 I don't know.

00:12:55.000 I don't know.

00:12:56.000 It's a fun thing to say.

00:12:58.000 It's a fun thing to say.

00:12:59.000 Yeah, and it also gives you a position where people have to go, oh my god, I'm so sorry.

00:13:05.000 What did I do?

00:13:06.000 George Bush was talking about pride the other day, and I was like, if he was- W? Yeah, he was on some interview, and I was like, if he was president today, having to, you know, the LMAFOs, the HGTVs,

00:13:22.000 The PB&Js, these are tasty folks, you know.

00:13:25.000 My cousins are translucent.

00:13:27.000 Now watch this drive.

00:13:29.000 But think about how much has changed since him.

00:13:32.000 Well, he is so reasonable now in comparison.

00:13:35.000 I used to have a joke about Bush getting elected, about the Iraq war, and that there's people in the back of the room, and their idea was the only way to find out how dumb people really are is to have a dumb president and see if everybody freaks out.

00:13:51.000 Because the only way they know that he's dumb is if they're smarter than him.

00:13:55.000 Yeah.

00:13:55.000 So the only way to find out is put a dumb president and see how everybody responds.

00:13:59.000 And then it was all about the Iraq War and all these things happened, like what they believed.

00:14:04.000 And then at the end of it, I go, I think the people in the back of the room are going, I think we can go dumber.

00:14:10.000 Yeah.

00:14:11.000 And they were right.

00:14:12.000 Yeah.

00:14:12.000 They were so right.

00:14:13.000 Well, people act like Trump and Biden are the first...

00:14:15.000 We had an autistic cowboy running the country for eight years.

00:14:20.000 We wanted eight years of that.

00:14:22.000 Yeah.

00:14:23.000 Yeah, but people didn't want it at the end, which is why Obama won.

00:14:27.000 Yeah.

00:14:27.000 You know, which is what this country always does.

00:14:29.000 We swing hard one way and then we swing the other way.

00:14:32.000 And Duncan Trussell said this when they were smashing windows and looting during the George Floyd protests.

00:14:38.000 Duncan said, dude, this is going to be so bad because we're going to have a right wing authoritarian president next.

00:14:46.000 And I thought about it, I was like, God damn, he's probably right.

00:14:49.000 Because that's really what happens.

00:14:51.000 There's like an overcorrection.

00:14:53.000 Yeah.

00:14:54.000 One way and another.

00:14:55.000 Like the San Francisco, London breed, mayor thing, this is an overcorrection to discrimination.

00:15:02.000 So there is some discrimination of gay people, there's discrimination of all kinds of people.

00:15:07.000 How now, though?

00:15:08.000 Well, there's still, with gay people, for sure, there's still people that are homophobic, especially religious people.

00:15:14.000 It's too complicated now, because it's like, well, there's that, and then there's gay guys who dress up as women who want to read to kids, and then there's those who cut their dicks.

00:15:22.000 It's too...

00:15:23.000 My dad came out of the closet when I was seven, so I was raised in this stuff.

00:15:29.000 Came out as racist, but he...

00:15:31.000 No, he's gay.

00:15:32.000 I got a gay dad.

00:15:32.000 I have two dad...

00:15:33.000 Mom, remarried, and then my dad with a husband.

00:15:37.000 And so, it's funny.

00:15:39.000 I try to talk about this, like, oh, shut up, straight white guy.

00:15:42.000 This isn't your lived experience.

00:15:43.000 I'm like, no, it is.

00:15:44.000 It is.

00:15:46.000 Do you say this on stage?

00:15:47.000 Do you talk about it on stage?

00:15:48.000 I talk about it everywhere.

00:15:49.000 Yeah, people started booing me when I started talking about this in New York City a long time ago.

00:15:54.000 It was the first time where I talked about my personal life because I have a crazy...

00:15:57.000 Everyone has a crazy life.

00:15:58.000 What were they booing?

00:15:59.000 Well, they're just like, you can't talk about...

00:16:02.000 That's their life.

00:16:04.000 You can't talk about what it's like to be a gay person.

00:16:06.000 And it's like, when I was seven, I was hiding it from my friends.

00:16:10.000 So I was living like a closeted gay guy.

00:16:13.000 I went to insane lengths to hide my dad having a boyfriend.

00:16:19.000 Because back, this was 1993. That's when it was, you know, and prior.

00:16:24.000 That's when it was bad.

00:16:26.000 But I imagine what guys like that think of what's going on now.

00:16:30.000 To be like, you're like a two-spirit, heteronormative, whatever this shit is.

00:16:35.000 Yeah.

00:16:35.000 And back then it was bad.

00:16:37.000 Um...

00:16:39.000 When I was in middle school, my friend Josh, his mom was gay, and he didn't tell us.

00:16:45.000 Nobody talked about it, but I... Lesbian mom's a little cooler, though.

00:16:50.000 She had the whole thing.

00:16:52.000 She was wearing the sleeveless vest with the big arms.

00:16:55.000 She was a big lady, and she had a girlfriend with short hair that was always over the house.

00:17:00.000 You'd go, who's that lady?

00:17:02.000 That's my mom's friend.

00:17:03.000 Why is she always over here?

00:17:04.000 Did she live with you?

00:17:05.000 That's exactly what happened.

00:17:05.000 It was one of them things.

00:17:06.000 Yeah.

00:17:07.000 But I lived in San Francisco.

00:17:09.000 And so when I moved to Boston, I moved to Florida for a few years, then we moved to Boston.

00:17:14.000 I had been around gay people from the time I was 7 to 11. My neighbors were gay.

00:17:18.000 My aunt used to go over and play bongos with them naked.

00:17:22.000 They would smoke pot and play bongos.

00:17:24.000 I remember.

00:17:25.000 That's way cooler.

00:17:26.000 Yeah, I mean she just loved the fact she could just be naked around guys and no one cared.

00:17:30.000 But it was just this thing where like the whole neighborhood was gay.

00:17:33.000 Everybody was gay.

00:17:34.000 So gay was super normal to me.

00:17:37.000 So my friend was like hiding the fact that his mom was gay.

00:17:43.000 You know, we never really pressed him on it, but me and my other friend were like, yeah, his mom's gay, right?

00:17:48.000 Like, yeah, yeah, obviously.

00:17:49.000 But, you know, we were 13. Like, what are you going to do?

00:17:53.000 For men, I think it was associated with AIDS. So I remember I was in the car, and, you know, we would, like, raise money for AIDS runs and all this stuff, and my friend's like, that's the AIDS thing, right?

00:18:05.000 Yeah.

00:18:06.000 And I would tell him, my dad's an attorney, I would tell him, because he'd go, this is my partner.

00:18:10.000 And I would tell my friends, they'd go, why is your dad's partner sleeping?

00:18:14.000 I'd go, that's his law partner.

00:18:15.000 I'd go, they're working on a case.

00:18:17.000 They're going to be up all night, fellas.

00:18:19.000 If you hear some banging and moaning and sit there recreating the murder, they're in there.

00:18:23.000 I would come up with this.

00:18:25.000 It's probably why I'm a good writer, because back then it was not accepted at all.

00:18:29.000 When did everybody figure it out?

00:18:31.000 I never told anybody.

00:18:33.000 Wow.

00:18:34.000 Yeah, I think I was in college the first time I told somebody because I was a theater major, so it was like I was safe.

00:18:40.000 Yeah.

00:18:40.000 I was the weird one being straight.

00:18:42.000 And it also gives you like social props.

00:18:44.000 It does, yeah.

00:18:46.000 You get street cred.

00:18:47.000 Yeah, I'll take whatever I can get now when you got resting January 6th face, man.

00:18:51.000 You need something.

00:18:52.000 Do you think you have January 6th?

00:18:53.000 Well, you do with that hat.

00:18:54.000 Resting January 6th.

00:18:55.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:18:59.000 I don't care.

00:18:59.000 I was raised to hate America.

00:19:02.000 All that bullshit.

00:19:02.000 I fucking love this country, man.

00:19:04.000 It's great country.

00:19:05.000 I love it.

00:19:05.000 There's no reason to hate America.

00:19:07.000 No.

00:19:07.000 We should always hate bad behavior in all groups of people.

00:19:12.000 Left and right.

00:19:13.000 Yeah.

00:19:14.000 Shitty, evil people on both sides.

00:19:16.000 That's what we're supposed to hate.

00:19:17.000 We're not supposed to hate.

00:19:19.000 And the history, it's history.

00:19:21.000 Gotta honor it.

00:19:21.000 Even, like, the stuff growing up with my dad and stuff.

00:19:24.000 I had a lot of resentment about that.

00:19:25.000 But I thought, you know what?

00:19:27.000 That's my...

00:19:28.000 That was my burden to bear.

00:19:30.000 And I have friends who, you know, who saw my dad...

00:19:33.000 You know, gay was bad back then.

00:19:35.000 But they'd see my dad being a great dad.

00:19:37.000 And cooking us dinner.

00:19:38.000 And so their introduction to a homosexual was this normal guy.

00:19:43.000 My dad, he looks like you.

00:19:45.000 He looks kind of like Bruce Willis and fucking...

00:19:48.000 He's just a normal dude.

00:19:49.000 He's not a feminine.

00:19:51.000 He doesn't do the, like, yeah, it's like, you know.

00:19:54.000 Which is interesting, right?

00:19:56.000 There's different groups of gay people.

00:19:59.000 We associate gay with people who behave in a very specific, exaggerated way.

00:20:06.000 Yeah.

00:20:06.000 Well, they're the loudest ones on the floats with their dick out and a four-year-old's face.

00:20:12.000 Well, that's what's weird.

00:20:13.000 It's like, it's not just...

00:20:14.000 Gay pride.

00:20:15.000 It's overtly sexual behavior pride.

00:20:19.000 You know?

00:20:20.000 Those things should have nothing to do with each other.

00:20:22.000 They're so different.

00:20:23.000 I know so many gay guys that are just like, you would never know unless they told you they were gay.

00:20:29.000 They just seemed like men.

00:20:31.000 Do you think people are actually homophobic, or do they have an issue with it getting sort of...

00:20:38.000 Convoluted into this sexual thing that our kids are seeing.

00:20:41.000 I think people who are homophobic just lack nuance.

00:20:45.000 They don't understand that there's weird people in every group.

00:20:50.000 Like, would you be heterophobic if you found out about people that are child molesters?

00:20:56.000 You know like if there was men that wanted to date 14 year old girls and have sex with 14 year old girls You wouldn't be heterophobic because that just like you shouldn't be homophobic if there's Gay men that want to groom young boys.

00:21:12.000 It's not about the gay.

00:21:14.000 It's about assholes It's about shitty members of society and it's about a lot of them are people who are victims themselves and And then they perpetuate it again later in life.

00:21:25.000 It's almost like being bitten by a vampire.

00:21:28.000 One of the things that happens with a lot of these molested guys...

00:21:31.000 That's how you become gay, by the way.

00:21:34.000 Bitten by a vampire?

00:21:35.000 Yeah.

00:21:36.000 But a lot of these molested guys wind up doing it to other kids, which is fucking insanely evil.

00:21:42.000 Like, their life got destroyed, and then they wound up destroying other people's lives.

00:21:46.000 Yeah, I think it's something like 30% become molesters.

00:21:49.000 Crazy.

00:21:50.000 My priest, and I don't know the backstory on this, but he blew his brains out when I was 8 years old.

00:21:55.000 Jesus, dude.

00:21:57.000 Seven and eight was rough for you.

00:21:58.000 Seven was dad coming out, and then...

00:22:01.000 What did the priest do that he wanted to blow his brains out?

00:22:04.000 I don't know, but I always...

00:22:06.000 Catholic?

00:22:06.000 I always think about it, because I'm like, were my blowjobs that bad?

00:22:10.000 You know what I mean?

00:22:11.000 Were they that bad?

00:22:13.000 Was it Catholic?

00:22:13.000 I don't know what he did.

00:22:15.000 He didn't touch me, because I wasn't a part of it.

00:22:17.000 Catholic?

00:22:18.000 Methodist.

00:22:19.000 Methodist.

00:22:19.000 Interesting.

00:22:20.000 Are they allowed to get married?

00:22:21.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:22:22.000 Huh.

00:22:24.000 They're allowed to blow their brains out.

00:22:26.000 He did it at the altar.

00:22:27.000 Oh, my God.

00:22:28.000 In front of everybody?

00:22:29.000 No.

00:22:30.000 Off day.

00:22:30.000 Thank God.

00:22:31.000 But I remember going back in the next day, and we just had a new guy, and he had a mustache.

00:22:35.000 He looked like Ned Flanders.

00:22:37.000 And I'm like, no, I can't do this.

00:22:40.000 Did they tell everybody what happened?

00:22:42.000 Yeah.

00:22:43.000 Did he leave a note?

00:22:45.000 Uh, maybe.

00:22:48.000 I don't know.

00:22:48.000 Does anybody know, like, what was wrong?

00:22:50.000 No, I googled it.

00:22:51.000 It's been wiped.

00:22:52.000 I can't even find the story.

00:22:53.000 Oh, boy.

00:22:54.000 I know.

00:22:55.000 Yeah.

00:22:55.000 They're good at wiping that.

00:22:56.000 Well, there's a fucking...

00:22:58.000 There's a horrible thing that people connect priests with child molesters.

00:23:03.000 Because, you know, just like we're talking about other things, there's a group of them.

00:23:08.000 Well, I wonder if by occupation, if it's the most.

00:23:12.000 I can't say for sure, but...

00:23:13.000 It's certainly associated the most.

00:23:15.000 Like, it's not like NASCAR drivers.

00:23:17.000 Imagine if that many NASCAR drivers were molesting kids.

00:23:20.000 They'd shut NASCAR down in a fucking heartbeat.

00:23:22.000 Sure.

00:23:23.000 Meanwhile, the Catholic Church gets tax-exempt status.

00:23:26.000 Right.

00:23:27.000 You know, they're literally guilty of moving people who are molesters to another place where they can molest new people instead of turning them in.

00:23:35.000 That's what Pope Benedict got in trouble for.

00:23:38.000 It's one of the reasons why he stepped down.

00:23:40.000 Really?

00:23:41.000 Yeah.

00:23:41.000 He was responsible for moving this one guy that went on to molest 100 deaf kids.

00:23:49.000 Yeah.

00:23:49.000 Yeah, they would move these people to places where they could get away with it instead of turn them in.

00:23:55.000 And I don't know if they gave them counseling.

00:23:57.000 I mean, what the fuck?

00:23:58.000 The thing about that particular evil, the evil of child molesters, is it doesn't seem to be able to be fixed.

00:24:06.000 Like, no one...

00:24:08.000 You know, if you were a guy who was like a...

00:24:12.000 Wolf of Wall Street guy.

00:24:14.000 He did a lot of crazy shit with the stock market, but then you realize, like, I fucked up.

00:24:19.000 You know, I should have never done that.

00:24:20.000 I was doing drugs.

00:24:20.000 I fucked up.

00:24:22.000 People, like, kind of accept that you're not a thief anymore.

00:24:25.000 Yeah.

00:24:26.000 You can go do talk shows, you know, you can write a book, and people go, wow, that guy, they made a movie out of him.

00:24:32.000 You know, Leonardo DiCaprio.

00:24:33.000 Sure.

00:24:33.000 Leonardo DiCaprio played him at a fucking movie, and now he's out there.

00:24:37.000 He's back.

00:24:38.000 But we don't think that way about child molesters.

00:24:42.000 It's the one, like, if you murdered somebody, like, I was young, I was stupid, I hated that person, I didn't think, I murdered them, you do 25 years in jail, you come out, maybe we think, like, that guy's reformed.

00:24:54.000 There's no feeling like that ever with child molesters.

00:24:56.000 You go out and make midnight at Paris after that.

00:25:00.000 Yes.

00:25:00.000 He never went to jail.

00:25:03.000 No, I don't know if he did, you know.

00:25:04.000 Well, he did something.

00:25:05.000 I went out with a girl who told, she goes, I feel like I'm hanging out with Woody Allen when I'm hanging out with you.

00:25:10.000 And I was like, I don't know if that was a...

00:25:12.000 Like what year Woody Allen?

00:25:14.000 Annie Hall?

00:25:15.000 I was like, you're giving me an existential crisis.

00:25:17.000 You're not even Asian, you know?

00:25:19.000 I'm trying something different.

00:25:20.000 Have you ever listened to his old stand-up?

00:25:22.000 Yeah, I like it.

00:25:23.000 It's so pervy.

00:25:24.000 Yeah, he's very pervy.

00:25:25.000 But it's hilarious how openly pervy he is.

00:25:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:29.000 And then you have to think of the time in which he was doing the stand-up.

00:25:32.000 This is the 1960s.

00:25:33.000 Yeah.

00:25:34.000 So he's doing this, like, weird, sexual...

00:25:36.000 Yeah, I was fucking a moose, you know?

00:25:38.000 The moose had me mounted on the wall, and I was, you know...

00:25:41.000 Well, he's talking about girls.

00:25:43.000 The way he talks about girls.

00:25:45.000 I loved girls.

00:25:46.000 His voice is so...

00:25:47.000 This is really what his voice is.

00:25:52.000 You're a knockout, Joe.

00:25:54.000 You really are.

00:25:55.000 He's an odd dude.

00:25:57.000 When you're funny, though, that's your currency.

00:26:00.000 He's an ugly, weird-looking guy.

00:26:02.000 But if you're funny, that's what you do.

00:26:06.000 Yeah, up until the whole child molesting accusations.

00:26:11.000 Yeah, she was a bit of a batshit crazy lady.

00:26:13.000 I mean, both of them deserve whatever happened.

00:26:16.000 They both deserve it.

00:26:18.000 She was adopting kids and returning them.

00:26:20.000 What?

00:26:21.000 Yeah, oh yeah.

00:26:21.000 She returned them?

00:26:22.000 Yo, all the time, yeah.

00:26:23.000 Why?

00:26:24.000 Yeah, she was just bad.

00:26:24.000 I like this one.

00:26:25.000 You know, she would get, like, mangled kids and all these, you know, they'd have all these...

00:26:31.000 Disabilities and stuff, and then she would return them.

00:26:34.000 Wow.

00:26:34.000 Yeah.

00:26:35.000 I mean, all the kids have come out with different stories, but, you know, they deserve each other.

00:26:41.000 Well, if you're fostering kids and taking care of kids, you're taking care of kids that have already experienced some crazy shit.

00:26:48.000 You know, so these kids are probably already fucked up.

00:26:51.000 Yeah, a lot of them didn't speak English.

00:26:53.000 They'd bring them in from different countries, China and stuff.

00:26:56.000 They didn't speak English.

00:26:57.000 They'd be, like, disabled.

00:26:59.000 And then Woody Allen's like, you want to go for a walk?

00:27:06.000 But his movies are so good.

00:27:08.000 They're pretty good.

00:27:09.000 They're not that good.

00:27:10.000 They're not that good.

00:27:11.000 But what I love about it, it's a different...

00:27:14.000 Nobody could do that now and go, I can go make a movie a year.

00:27:18.000 You're going, I'm going to see the Rogan movie.

00:27:19.000 I'm going to see the...

00:27:20.000 I'm seeing the Shane Gillis movie.

00:27:21.000 Did he really make one a year?

00:27:23.000 Yeah.

00:27:23.000 Wow.

00:27:24.000 He made them real cheap, didn't pay himself.

00:27:26.000 And we'll never have that again.

00:27:28.000 I even remember when I was in my teens going, I'm seeing the Woody Allen movie.

00:27:32.000 You didn't even care what it was.

00:27:33.000 It's like a new comedian special coming out.

00:27:36.000 They were always good, right?

00:27:37.000 How many does he have?

00:27:38.000 Oh my god, look at how many movies he has, man.

00:27:40.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:27:42.000 He's still making them?

00:27:43.000 That one's good.

00:27:44.000 Rainy Day in New York is good.

00:27:45.000 Where does he live now?

00:27:47.000 He lives in Manhattan.

00:27:49.000 Still?

00:27:49.000 Yeah, same place.

00:27:50.000 Upper East Side.

00:27:52.000 I wonder if he gets fucked with.

00:27:54.000 Like, can he just walk around?

00:27:56.000 Probably.

00:27:57.000 He's old, man.

00:27:58.000 Yeah.

00:27:59.000 He is old.

00:28:00.000 I don't think people would recognize him.

00:28:02.000 Really?

00:28:02.000 Oh, come on.

00:28:03.000 Not the younger generation.

00:28:05.000 I think they know who he is.

00:28:07.000 He never lived with Mia Farrow, I found out.

00:28:09.000 So they never even slept over each other's house.

00:28:12.000 They were never married.

00:28:14.000 Oh, no kidding.

00:28:15.000 Yeah.

00:28:15.000 Doesn't make it less weird that he started fucking her daughter, but...

00:28:18.000 No.

00:28:19.000 It does not.

00:28:21.000 Especially since he knew her since she was, like, two.

00:28:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:25.000 Yeah, not good.

00:28:26.000 Yeah.

00:28:27.000 Yeah, that's what he looks like now.

00:28:29.000 Yeah.

00:28:30.000 Yeah, they'd recognize him in a heartbeat, dude.

00:28:32.000 Well, she's older now.

00:28:34.000 Yeah.

00:28:34.000 He's 88. Wow.

00:28:36.000 Goddamn.

00:28:37.000 He's done.

00:28:37.000 The pandemic, I think, finished him.

00:28:39.000 He's 88. Finished him.

00:28:42.000 Well, I mean, just life is finishing him.

00:28:44.000 He's 88 years old, man.

00:28:46.000 I mean, that's just...

00:28:47.000 And he still does a movie a year.

00:28:49.000 What did he get arrested for there?

00:28:51.000 That's from a movie, Take the Money and Run, I think.

00:28:54.000 He had some great fucking movies, man.

00:28:57.000 He did.

00:28:58.000 But he's a real germaphobe, neurotic guy.

00:29:01.000 The pandemic ruined anybody that had that type of personality.

00:29:06.000 Oh, I know a few people.

00:29:07.000 Oh, God.

00:29:08.000 Yeah.

00:29:09.000 Done.

00:29:10.000 Yeah, they're not coming back.

00:29:11.000 That is a tragedy.

00:29:13.000 That's the tragedy of our time, man.

00:29:16.000 Yeah, there were people that were barely hanging on.

00:29:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:18.000 They were riddled with anxiety.

00:29:20.000 Yeah.

00:29:20.000 Yeah, I was one of them, but it was more because I didn't get the vaccine and couldn't take part in society.

00:29:27.000 That was a fun little experiment we did that we're just gonna pretend like never happened.

00:29:31.000 Yeah, that was an interesting thing.

00:29:32.000 Interesting little thing, yeah.

00:29:34.000 Yeah.

00:29:34.000 We had segregation in this country based on medicine and then we're back to pretending like it never fucking happened.

00:29:41.000 Well, at least now they're having hearings on it.

00:29:44.000 Yeah, nine years later.

00:29:46.000 Fauci was on TV the other day going, you know, it could have come from the lab.

00:29:50.000 It may have been a leak.

00:29:51.000 I want to stay open-minded and on CNN. They're like, yeah, okay.

00:29:54.000 Like, what?

00:29:57.000 Did you see all that leaked stuff coming out of his audio?

00:29:59.000 Yeah.

00:30:00.000 You got to make pressure people.

00:30:02.000 You got to...

00:30:03.000 Yeah, they'll drop their ideological bullshit when they can't work.

00:30:07.000 You've been shown when you make their lives difficult, they'll drop their ideological bullshit.

00:30:12.000 Just give them another booster.

00:30:13.000 Boost them up.

00:30:14.000 Saying that about people's jobs, that you're going to force them into making a decision with their own body.

00:30:20.000 And not only that, but mandate it.

00:30:22.000 And not only that, as a doctor, know that some people are allergic to some of the components, some of the actually ingredients in these vaccines.

00:30:32.000 Aaron Rodgers is one of them.

00:30:33.000 He's allergic to one of the chemicals that's in it.

00:30:36.000 You can't take it.

00:30:37.000 And some people have immune systems that work pretty well, and maybe you don't need to start jabbing them with experimental stuff.

00:30:45.000 Yeah, it's a wild thing that happened.

00:30:47.000 And so many people are still defending it because they defended it previously.

00:30:51.000 They're not defending it from a position of objectivity, like, here we are, 2024, let's look at the data.

00:30:58.000 No, they're defending it from this weird place of, I defended it three years ago, and I shamed people three years ago, and we were right.

00:31:06.000 We were right.

00:31:07.000 We were right.

00:31:08.000 You were wrong.

00:31:09.000 We were right.

00:31:09.000 It saved millions.

00:31:10.000 They always say that.

00:31:11.000 It saved millions.

00:31:12.000 Which is, by the way, there's no way to tell if that's true.

00:31:15.000 There's no way to tell.

00:31:16.000 Because the number of people that actually die from COVID is so grossly exaggerated.

00:31:21.000 Most people think it's a very high number of people that died from COVID. It's less than 1%.

00:31:26.000 It's like...

00:31:27.000 Was it 0.3?

00:31:29.000 Is it like one-third of 1%?

00:31:31.000 Is that what it is?

00:31:32.000 Something like that?

00:31:34.000 I don't know one person.

00:31:35.000 I know people do.

00:31:36.000 I know a couple of people.

00:31:37.000 I know a couple of people that died.

00:31:39.000 But it's not what I remember.

00:31:41.000 I was watching CNN. I was kind of like a brainwashed, woke person until the pandemic.

00:31:47.000 Really?

00:31:47.000 Every day I was on scene and watching, watching that death ticker, that like the stock market.

00:31:52.000 And then when I made my decision not to get the vaccine and I lost almost every friend, every job, and was called like a far right Trump supporter, I go, okay, this is, we've never done this before.

00:32:06.000 What was your decision?

00:32:07.000 Why did you decide not to take it?

00:32:09.000 Well, I mean, I'm not getting something.

00:32:12.000 First of all, it wouldn't have been made that.

00:32:14.000 Trump's really good at pushing things through regulations very fast.

00:32:19.000 If we had any other president, there's no way.

00:32:21.000 That's what warp speed.

00:32:22.000 You remember warp speed, Joe, right?

00:32:24.000 Nobody can do that.

00:32:25.000 You call it warp speed.

00:32:26.000 Edison couldn't do it with lightning speed, but I did warp speed.

00:32:29.000 They said, sure, it'll take 15 years.

00:32:31.000 I made it in two days.

00:32:32.000 He's bragging about how quick he did it.

00:32:36.000 I'm not going to fucking get that.

00:32:37.000 I'm young.

00:32:38.000 I'm healthy.

00:32:38.000 I had COVID. I had natural immunity.

00:32:40.000 I was doing what everybody has done throughout history.

00:32:43.000 You already had COVID, which is really important.

00:32:45.000 Yeah, so why risk that?

00:32:47.000 What version of COVID did you have?

00:32:50.000 The earliest one?

00:32:51.000 I had the first, the OG, the original.

00:32:54.000 How bad was it for you?

00:32:56.000 It was like I get the flu every year.

00:32:59.000 I'm tiny.

00:33:00.000 I'm a sickly person.

00:33:01.000 You know?

00:33:02.000 I'm allergic to fucking cigarettes.

00:33:04.000 Can I get one of those fucking things?

00:33:05.000 Yeah.

00:33:06.000 Why not?

00:33:07.000 I quit smoking when I was 12. But you smoke a cigar?

00:33:10.000 I started when I was 10. Oh, okay.

00:33:12.000 Yeah, 10 to 21. I smoked for 11 years.

00:33:15.000 Nice.

00:33:15.000 So let's start now.

00:33:16.000 Sorry, I would have invited you.

00:33:18.000 No, it's fine.

00:33:19.000 It's fine.

00:33:19.000 It's just goddamn.

00:33:20.000 How did I know that you had quit cigarettes?

00:33:23.000 Nah, you wouldn't know that.

00:33:25.000 Somebody, I think somebody brought it up.

00:33:27.000 Well, I put up a sign when I was filming the special that, uh, like a no smoking sign.

00:33:31.000 Pull that down.

00:33:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:33.000 A no smoking sign?

00:33:34.000 Like a Marx Brother when I fuckin...

00:33:36.000 Well, I had a, I had a, when I was, I filmed the special last week and we were live editing it.

00:33:41.000 So I put up a no smoking sign in the green room because I had all these, I had all this camera crew and stuff in there.

00:33:49.000 What do you hit, this thing?

00:33:50.000 The other side?

00:33:52.000 The top that's flipped the way I handed it to you?

00:33:54.000 Turn it towards you?

00:33:55.000 No, no, no.

00:33:56.000 The other way.

00:33:57.000 You see that?

00:33:57.000 That's the top.

00:33:58.000 Right there?

00:33:58.000 And you pull that thing down.

00:34:00.000 Okay.

00:34:00.000 That's it.

00:34:00.000 There you go.

00:34:01.000 But you got it backwards.

00:34:02.000 You should do it the other way so you can see what you're doing.

00:34:04.000 Oh, like this?

00:34:05.000 Yeah, there you go.

00:34:07.000 This is a company of errors.

00:34:08.000 Oh, I was good at this when I was 12. Were you?

00:34:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:11.000 I used to steal cigars.

00:34:13.000 I was in like a skateboard gang and I was so small they'd send me under the counter and I would steal like thousands of dollars of cigars.

00:34:20.000 Under counters?

00:34:21.000 Yeah, I'd sneak under the counter of a drugstore.

00:34:23.000 Oh, God.

00:34:24.000 Because I was so small.

00:34:25.000 And then I'd come out with, and we would sell them on the street.

00:34:29.000 Your gang sold stolen cigars?

00:34:32.000 Stolen cigars and we grew weed in my backyard.

00:34:35.000 It was a gang.

00:34:37.000 I mean, somebody stole our weed once, we went and flipped their car over and burnt it.

00:34:42.000 Wow.

00:34:43.000 Yeah.

00:34:44.000 Jesus.

00:34:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:45.000 So that's, you know, the privilege of growing up in Connecticut.

00:34:48.000 It was a privilege.

00:34:49.000 What part of Connecticut?

00:34:50.000 New Haven.

00:34:51.000 Okay.

00:34:51.000 I know New Haven.

00:34:52.000 It's called Gunblazing.

00:34:53.000 Everyone's like, oh, you're so privileged.

00:34:55.000 It was, uh, you know.

00:34:56.000 New Haven's a sketchy place.

00:34:57.000 Sketchy.

00:34:58.000 Yeah, we hear gunshots every night.

00:35:00.000 Super sketchy.

00:35:00.000 Every single night.

00:35:00.000 I used to do the Joker's Wild Comedy Club in New Haven.

00:35:03.000 You did?

00:35:04.000 Yeah.

00:35:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:35:05.000 Is that still around?

00:35:06.000 I don't know.

00:35:07.000 It's where I did my first open mic.

00:35:09.000 No shit.

00:35:10.000 You did your first open mic there?

00:35:11.000 Mm-hmm.

00:35:11.000 Wow.

00:35:12.000 Yeah.

00:35:13.000 Actually, no.

00:35:13.000 The first one was the cafeteria at college.

00:35:19.000 Yeah, it was in a play.

00:35:20.000 I was playing George Bush.

00:35:21.000 The first acting role I ever did.

00:35:23.000 Stuff Happens.

00:35:24.000 Did you ever hear about that play?

00:35:25.000 No.

00:35:26.000 Stuff Happens.

00:35:27.000 It was in the West End in London.

00:35:29.000 It was all actual quotes from George Bush and his administration.

00:35:34.000 The whole thing.

00:35:35.000 And it's fucking amazing.

00:35:37.000 Really?

00:35:38.000 Yeah.

00:35:39.000 We're in terror.

00:35:41.000 Weapons of mass destruction.

00:35:44.000 It was almost like the pandemic, the way they scared people.

00:35:48.000 Weapons of mass destruction.

00:35:49.000 We've got to take them out.

00:35:51.000 We've got to do what we've got to do.

00:35:53.000 And we went in there.

00:35:55.000 And what came of that?

00:35:57.000 Yeah.

00:35:58.000 Biden pulling out, leaving billions of dollars of...

00:36:02.000 Shit behind, yeah.

00:36:03.000 If you just compared Biden to George Bush, George Bush looks like a fucking Rhodes Scholar.

00:36:08.000 Yeah, Shakespeare.

00:36:08.000 That's what's crazy.

00:36:09.000 We thought that he was an idiot.

00:36:11.000 We thought, God, it's such an embarrassment that that guy is the president.

00:36:16.000 Yeah.

00:36:17.000 And now look at the two choices we have.

00:36:19.000 You're like, yo.

00:36:20.000 Bush would be, like, the wise choice at this point.

00:36:25.000 Yeah.

00:36:25.000 You know?

00:36:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:28.000 Did you ever watch the clip when they're, like, asking him, I think, about Bin Laden or something?

00:36:32.000 He's like, yeah, we're going to find Bin Laden.

00:36:34.000 Yeah.

00:36:35.000 But first, watch this drive.

00:36:37.000 I watch that every day.

00:36:40.000 It was a good drive.

00:36:41.000 Yeah.

00:36:41.000 And it was a way of keeping people calm and like, he's so American.

00:36:45.000 He just is.

00:36:46.000 We're dumb.

00:36:47.000 We're fucking stupid.

00:36:48.000 Yeah.

00:36:48.000 He's a transport to Texas.

00:36:50.000 You know, they're from Maine.

00:36:51.000 He was born in New Havens, you know that?

00:36:53.000 Was he really?

00:36:53.000 And he denies it.

00:36:55.000 He denies it.

00:36:55.000 The bridge that goes into New Haven is the George W. Bush Bridge, and he denies.

00:36:59.000 He was born at Yale New Haven Hospital.

00:37:01.000 Wait a minute, why would he lie about that?

00:37:02.000 Because he wants to be, I'm from Texas, you know?

00:37:05.000 Red, white, and blue, I bleed it.

00:37:06.000 Yeah, but everybody knows they're from Kennebunkport, Maine.

00:37:09.000 Born in New Haven.

00:37:10.000 Really?

00:37:11.000 Oh yeah.

00:37:11.000 Interesting.

00:37:12.000 They're like, fuck you, we're naming the bridge after it.

00:37:14.000 Is it American politics?

00:37:15.000 Hey baby, New Haven!

00:37:16.000 Yeah, New Haven, Connecticut.

00:37:18.000 So, at one point in time he was hiding this?

00:37:21.000 Is that what it is?

00:37:22.000 Isn't that funny?

00:37:23.000 He's younger than both fucking Trump and Biden?

00:37:27.000 He's, Jesus Christ, he hasn't been the president in like 20 fucking years.

00:37:32.000 That's so crazy.

00:37:33.000 He's younger than both of them.

00:37:35.000 That's so nuts.

00:37:37.000 Look at that, that is so nuts.

00:37:39.000 That is crazy.

00:37:39.000 That's so nuts.

00:37:40.000 I would vote for him for a third term.

00:37:42.000 100%.

00:37:43.000 In a second.

00:37:43.000 Come on back, George.

00:37:45.000 Yeah.

00:37:45.000 We need a laugh, buddy.

00:37:46.000 And bring that Darth Vader fucking fake heart motherfucker with you.

00:37:50.000 Dick Cheney?

00:37:51.000 Yeah.

00:37:51.000 Is he still alive?

00:37:52.000 Yeah, he's literally in the Bible.

00:37:55.000 He had no pulse at one point in time.

00:37:58.000 No pulse.

00:37:59.000 Because he had an artificial heart put in while they were waiting to put a replacement heart in.

00:38:04.000 Oh, that's right.

00:38:04.000 An artificial pump put in.

00:38:06.000 So this pump continually circulated blood.

00:38:09.000 It didn't have a pulse.

00:38:10.000 So he had no pulse.

00:38:12.000 Tell me that's not in the Bible.

00:38:13.000 Isn't that in the Bible?

00:38:14.000 Oh my God.

00:38:14.000 I don't know.

00:38:15.000 I haven't read the whole Bible.

00:38:15.000 Maybe you heard my priest blew his brains out when I was eight.

00:38:18.000 I kind of stopped reading.

00:38:20.000 But I mean, if you're going to have a demon incarnate, you'll probably have no pulse.

00:38:26.000 God damn.

00:38:26.000 I would imagine.

00:38:28.000 Watching Biden, when he freezes up now, you think he's gone, man.

00:38:34.000 Well, he's going to go, but also he's freezing up medicated to the tits.

00:38:39.000 Whatever they're doing to keep him alive...

00:38:43.000 IV vitamin transfusions and fucking hormones and amphetamines, whatever they're doing.

00:38:48.000 I don't know what they're doing.

00:38:49.000 Nootropics, I don't know what they're doing.

00:38:50.000 He could be the first president to be assassinated by time.

00:38:53.000 Yeah.

00:38:54.000 I mean, I just...

00:38:55.000 He's not gonna make it.

00:38:56.000 I just can't believe they're running him.

00:38:58.000 It doesn't even make sense.

00:38:59.000 The more he flails about in these speeches, the more he fucks up, the more it's almost like he feels like he doesn't want to do it.

00:39:07.000 So he's trying to get out of it.

00:39:08.000 Why are they saying this didn't happen?

00:39:10.000 This did not happen.

00:39:11.000 White House denies, claims Biden froze at fundraiser event.

00:39:14.000 They're calling them cheap fakes now.

00:39:16.000 But wait a minute.

00:39:17.000 There's a video of the show where...

00:39:20.000 Look, I don't think that's a big deal.

00:39:22.000 The thing's over.

00:39:23.000 He gets led off the stage.

00:39:25.000 Like, who cares?

00:39:26.000 That's nothing.

00:39:27.000 Some of the other stuff, like...

00:39:29.000 What was that one where he was, like, yelling at people?

00:39:31.000 Like, completely...

00:39:34.000 Yeah, just yelling with a big smile on his face.

00:39:36.000 He always does that.

00:39:37.000 Yeah, but this was a wild one.

00:39:39.000 That's just him walking off with Joe Biden, with Obama.

00:39:43.000 Like, who cares?

00:39:44.000 I think it was the, like, he gave him the little pinch on the arm like you do to your grandma.

00:39:48.000 Oh, he's looking at the crowd.

00:39:49.000 Betsy, let's go.

00:39:50.000 He's just looking out at the crowd, which is odd, too.

00:39:52.000 He does look frozen, though.

00:39:54.000 Yeah.

00:39:54.000 Yeah, he's frozen.

00:39:55.000 Yeah, but whatever.

00:39:56.000 Yeah.

00:39:57.000 That's the least of the things that have gone wrong.

00:40:00.000 The thing of, have you seen the video of him yelling, Jamie?

00:40:03.000 There's this crazy video.

00:40:05.000 He's like...

00:40:05.000 He's not saying it.

00:40:08.000 Someone says something to him and he yells something back, but it's literally no words.

00:40:12.000 And then he has a big smile on his face.

00:40:14.000 He yells and then he does that whisper.

00:40:16.000 He's like...

00:40:16.000 It's hard to believe it's real.

00:40:24.000 It's almost like we're being punked by China.

00:40:28.000 Oh, they punked us recently.

00:40:30.000 They're definitely doing that.

00:40:31.000 They're definitely doing that.

00:40:32.000 COVID was a bit of a punk.

00:40:34.000 A little bit.

00:40:35.000 A little, yeah, minor worldwide punk.

00:40:38.000 That we funded.

00:40:40.000 That we funded.

00:40:41.000 Yeah, our tax dollars.

00:40:44.000 How about reparations for everybody who got fired for not getting the COVID vaccine?

00:40:49.000 I think everyone should get a fat check, $100,000.

00:40:52.000 That's not a bad idea.

00:40:53.000 That's not even enough.

00:40:54.000 How many people lost their fucking jobs?

00:40:56.000 Dude, it's destroyed people.

00:40:58.000 This isn't it.

00:40:59.000 Let me hear this, though.

00:41:00.000 Let me hear what this one is.

00:41:02.000 Donald Trump, when he was commander-in-chief, refused to visit a U.S. cemetery outside of Paris.

00:41:11.000 For fallen American soldiers.

00:41:13.000 And he referred to those heroes, and I quote, as suckers and losers.

00:41:18.000 He actually said that.

00:41:20.000 Oh.

00:41:20.000 He said that.

00:41:21.000 How dare he say that?

00:41:23.000 How dare he talk about my son and all of us like that?

00:41:27.000 What?

00:41:28.000 How dare you?

00:41:31.000 Sweet old man, though.

00:41:32.000 Yeah.

00:41:33.000 Is that how his son died?

00:41:34.000 Why is he saying his son?

00:41:36.000 His son...

00:41:37.000 The death of his son changes by the day.

00:41:40.000 It's like...

00:41:41.000 Yeah, but what is he saying there?

00:41:42.000 Is he saying his son died as a military person?

00:41:46.000 Yeah, I don't think he died in war.

00:41:47.000 He mixes it up.

00:41:50.000 Does it say how he died?

00:41:51.000 He died from cancer?

00:41:54.000 Biden had radiation chemotherapy treatments cancer remains stable May 20 2015 is admitted to Walter Reed National Medical Center in Bethesda Maryland because of recurrence of brain cancer he died there ten days later okay what is what does that have to do what it why is he saying he how dare they talk about my son he'll link everything to his oh no no exposure to military burn pits Iraq okay that makes sense okay Oh,

00:42:24.000 so what did he do?

00:42:26.000 According to his father, Bo was diagnosed with...

00:42:30.000 Say that word.

00:42:38.000 Ankylosing spond...

00:42:41.000 Delitis.

00:42:42.000 Delitis.

00:42:46.000 Ankylosing spondylitis.

00:42:48.000 After returning from service in Kosovo, he was later diagnosed with brain cancer.

00:42:53.000 His father believes it was possibly a consequence of exposure to military burn pits.

00:42:57.000 Well, those burn pits 100% fucked people up.

00:43:01.000 That's so crazy that they did that, too.

00:43:03.000 They had soldiers over there, and they had all this waste, and they just burned it all.

00:43:07.000 And the wind would just blow it right into the camp, so these soldiers were just breathing in toxic chemical waste.

00:43:16.000 Yeah.

00:43:18.000 Yikes.

00:43:19.000 Yeah, what the fuck, man?

00:43:21.000 And what was his son doing?

00:43:22.000 Or his son was in Kosovo.

00:43:23.000 Was his son serving?

00:43:25.000 I think so.

00:43:28.000 Is that what happened?

00:43:32.000 It's amazing how Trump, he looks like, he looks so young and energized compared to Biden now.

00:43:40.000 Yeah, but it's just compared to Biden.

00:43:41.000 Just compared to it.

00:43:42.000 He was in Kosovo after 1998-1999 Kosovo War, working on behalf of the OSCE to train judges and prosecutors for the local judicial system.

00:43:54.000 2004 became a partner in the law firm of Bittiferato, Gentilodi, Biden, and Balik.

00:44:01.000 Where he worked for two years before being elected Attorney General of Delaware.

00:44:07.000 He was nominated.

00:44:09.000 When Joe Boddy was nominated for Vice President, Bo introduced him.

00:44:13.000 Many delegates wept at his speech, which recounted the auto accident that killed his mother and sister and the subsequent commitment his father made to his sons.

00:44:23.000 So he's active duty, deployed to Iraq, sent to Fort Bliss for pre-deployment training this day after his father participated in 2008 presidential campaigns, only vice presidential debate.

00:44:34.000 Father was on record saying, I don't want him going, but I'll tell you what, I don't want my grandson or my granddaughters going back in 15 years.

00:44:40.000 So I can't see it all, Jamie.

00:44:43.000 It's cut off.

00:44:46.000 Oh, so how we leave makes a big difference.

00:44:50.000 Whoa, that didn't age well.

00:44:51.000 So how we leave makes a big difference?

00:44:54.000 Then you think about what they did in Afghanistan.

00:44:56.000 Hey man, fuck that job.

00:44:59.000 Fuck, fuck that job.

00:45:01.000 You literally have to be a crazy person to want that job.

00:45:04.000 Like, do you imagine wanting the stress of being either the vice president or the president?

00:45:08.000 Like Brian Regan has a joke about being president.

00:45:10.000 Every morning you wake up, someone's like, problems, sir.

00:45:13.000 Lots and lots of problems.

00:45:15.000 Any of those jobs.

00:45:16.000 There's not one day where everything's like fucking yeah.

00:45:19.000 Do you think they should have an age cap on the politicians?

00:45:22.000 Well...

00:45:22.000 They got a minimum, right?

00:45:23.000 35 to run?

00:45:25.000 If you want to be a fireman, you have to show that you're physically competent.

00:45:29.000 Yeah.

00:45:29.000 You have to complete a physical fitness course.

00:45:32.000 Sure.

00:45:33.000 You have to, you know, because you might be able to have to do things.

00:45:35.000 If you are a president, I think you should have to commit a mental fitness course.

00:45:39.000 Like, they should have to test you with puzzles.

00:45:43.000 They should have to ask you...

00:45:44.000 Puzzles?

00:45:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:45:45.000 Legitimately.

00:45:46.000 Like, it sounds stupid, but that's a good way to find out whether someone's brain works well.

00:45:49.000 Sure.

00:45:50.000 Test people with puzzles and quizzes and ask them questions about history, and they shouldn't be able to prepare for it.

00:45:59.000 I think it should be something that you just announce.

00:46:02.000 Today's the day.

00:46:03.000 We're gonna pull them into this room.

00:46:05.000 And we're going to film it all and ask him a bunch of questions about all kinds of things.

00:46:09.000 And then let's find out how his brain works.

00:46:12.000 I mean, I think Mitch McConnell had two strokes in a very short amount of time.

00:46:17.000 He locks up, whatever that is.

00:46:18.000 I don't think it's a stroke, but he definitely locks up like Windows 95. Yeah.

00:46:24.000 Yeah, it's not good.

00:46:25.000 It's not good and he's not stepping down.

00:46:28.000 These people are so old.

00:46:30.000 They're so old.

00:46:32.000 And they shouldn't be doing anything.

00:46:34.000 They certainly shouldn't be running the world for future generations that they are absolutely not going to witness.

00:46:40.000 Mitch McConnell is actually stepping down.

00:46:42.000 Oh, he will step down.

00:46:43.000 When did he decide?

00:46:44.000 Not too long ago.

00:46:45.000 It was just a couple months ago.

00:46:46.000 Oh, okay.

00:46:48.000 Finally.

00:46:49.000 Yeah.

00:46:49.000 82. But he should have stepped down fucking immediately.

00:46:53.000 He sounds like Mr. Magoo and Jimmy Stewart.

00:46:56.000 I mean, you're Xi Jinping or whatever watching these politicians just having a good chuckle.

00:47:02.000 I think that Xi Jinping knows those politicians don't really run jack shit.

00:47:07.000 It's the, you know, what Trump likes to go, the deep state.

00:47:10.000 The deep state real.

00:47:12.000 It's real.

00:47:12.000 There's a bunch of people that run the government.

00:47:15.000 Who are they, though?

00:47:17.000 Well, there's a lot of money.

00:47:19.000 There's heads of immense corporations that have incredible financial control and influence on politicians.

00:47:28.000 This is the reason why lobbyists are some of the richest fucking people in the country, like some of the richest real estate.

00:47:34.000 It's in Virginia, right?

00:47:35.000 It's out of DC and a lot of it's lobbyists.

00:47:37.000 The amount of money that they pour into campaigns and pour into making sure that their agendas are being met and that their businesses get to grow because of regulations or lack of regulations or tariffs or lack of tariffs or whatever the fuck they're trying to do, that's who runs things really and makes decisions.

00:47:56.000 And then the politicians keep us embattled in these social squabbles.

00:48:02.000 You know, it's like when they have...

00:48:04.000 When Kamala Harris had this guy in a dress with a beard come to the White House recently, and she's like, oh my God, for Pride Month.

00:48:11.000 Come on in, you're in the White House.

00:48:13.000 Like, that is...

00:48:15.000 To accentuate this – the social squabbling.

00:48:19.000 It's so people get fired up, yay, queers are in the White House, and then other people go, what the fuck are queers doing in the White House?

00:48:27.000 It's like that – this is a part of the grand plan to keep people not paying attention to the really important issues and to just constantly – it's like these – These fucking beach balls.

00:48:44.000 They throw up at a concert.

00:48:45.000 They constantly get thrown up.

00:48:46.000 It's working.

00:48:48.000 They're going to take away gay marriage now.

00:48:50.000 They're going to take away abortion.

00:48:51.000 They're going to take away this.

00:48:53.000 Guns.

00:48:54.000 The border.

00:48:55.000 And they just keep throwing these things in the air.

00:48:57.000 So you're just like looking left and right and looking left and right.

00:49:00.000 And Wallace is going on.

00:49:02.000 There's all sorts of laws being passed that allow them to look at any computer, any laptop, any phone.

00:49:10.000 They're gonna be able to bypass encryption with AI. I was just watching a video where a security expert was talking about that.

00:49:17.000 He was talking about What's that guy's name?

00:49:20.000 Rob Braxman.

00:49:21.000 He was talking about how AI in your operating system, like once they get AI in your operating system, all this stuff like Signal and WhatsApp, encrypted end-to-end encrypted devices, that's nonsense.

00:49:35.000 It's not going to work anymore.

00:49:37.000 It's not going to do anything.

00:49:38.000 They're going to be able to get your information before it's encrypted, as you're typing it, before you send it.

00:49:44.000 Everything is going to be transparent.

00:49:47.000 They'll have access to anything they want, anything you have on any device.

00:49:52.000 It doesn't matter what kind of encryption and what kind of bullshit you're using.

00:49:56.000 All that's out the window.

00:49:57.000 And he was explaining that.

00:49:59.000 Fuck.

00:50:00.000 What about Elon's Neuralink chip?

00:50:02.000 Do you think people are going to have those?

00:50:04.000 Yeah.

00:50:05.000 And they can just go open up, you know, they don't have to say it.

00:50:08.000 You just think it.

00:50:09.000 Open up Google, you know.

00:50:11.000 That's going to happen.

00:50:12.000 There's going to be versions of that, and it's going to get...

00:50:14.000 What's Nolan's last name?

00:50:16.000 Arbaugh.

00:50:17.000 Say it again?

00:50:18.000 Arbaugh.

00:50:19.000 Arbaugh.

00:50:20.000 You say it the right way?

00:50:21.000 Arbaugh?

00:50:23.000 Arbaugh.

00:50:24.000 He's the first Neuralink patient.

00:50:26.000 We had him in the other day.

00:50:28.000 And I think the episode comes out today?

00:50:30.000 Yeah, it's out now.

00:50:31.000 Yeah, it's out now.

00:50:32.000 And yeah, he's the first guy to get the Neuralink.

00:50:35.000 Does he sound like Elon?

00:50:37.000 It's working pretty well.

00:50:38.000 It's very, very smart.

00:50:40.000 Very smart, very interesting person to talk to, completely paralyzed from the neck down, except for a few movements in his hands, and he can kind of move a little bit.

00:50:49.000 His spinal cord's not...

00:50:50.000 Totally severed, but it's very badly damaged from an accident in the river.

00:50:55.000 And now with this Neuralink, he can play video games.

00:50:59.000 He can do all kinds of shit.

00:51:01.000 And he said the cursor goes where his eyes go.

00:51:06.000 The cursor goes like exactly where he wants it to go.

00:51:09.000 So he's like, I have a built-in...

00:51:10.000 Aimbot, if I'm playing video games.

00:51:13.000 I don't miss.

00:51:16.000 I can look right at it.

00:51:18.000 I can shoot at things.

00:51:19.000 Which is pretty wild.

00:51:20.000 And it makes you think, okay, well for soldiers, that's a must.

00:51:23.000 You have to give them that.

00:51:27.000 Some of the fighter jets, the new helmets that they have on now are augmented reality helmets.

00:51:33.000 And when they're flying the jets, as they're looking at a specific spot, that's where the crosshairs go.

00:51:40.000 So the crosshairs are connected to this AR. Are we going to be doing that with jokes?

00:51:46.000 Like you just like hit the punchline.

00:51:48.000 I think comedy is probably going to be one of the last places where the actual human experience exists in a pure form.

00:51:57.000 You know, it's one of several reasons why at the mothership we make people put their phones in a bag.

00:52:03.000 Like, get that out of your head.

00:52:04.000 Yeah.

00:52:04.000 Stop looking at that.

00:52:06.000 Just sit down and watch a show.

00:52:07.000 Huge difference.

00:52:08.000 It's a giant difference.

00:52:09.000 But if we could still have things like that, it'll remind us of what it's like to be a human, you know?

00:52:16.000 I feel like the movies have kind of gone away.

00:52:18.000 Going to the movie theater, I stopped.

00:52:21.000 Well, I stopped during the pandemic because you couldn't go.

00:52:23.000 And then I was like, oh, this is way better.

00:52:25.000 If you have a nice TV at home and no one's going to interrupt and, you know.

00:52:29.000 There's something about that kind of taking a girl on a date.

00:52:31.000 But, oh, yeah, I remember when everybody had to be six feet apart and, you know, two people in each row.

00:52:37.000 And that's all made up.

00:52:38.000 When they found out, he's like, it was out there.

00:52:42.000 I didn't make up the rules.

00:52:45.000 It was out there.

00:52:45.000 From the flu, when we didn't even have fucking electricity back then.

00:52:50.000 Well, it doesn't make sense.

00:52:53.000 It's in the air.

00:52:54.000 It's a respiratory virus.

00:52:55.000 They've never, ever in the history of human beings been able to contain a respiratory virus.

00:53:00.000 You can't do it.

00:53:02.000 If a respiratory virus gets out to a certain number of people and it starts spreading through certain populations, it's just going to...

00:53:08.000 And it also has animal reservoirs.

00:53:11.000 So one of the things they find, it actually can exist in certain animals.

00:53:15.000 In fact, in deer, they tested a bunch of white-tailed deer, just wild deer, and a bunch of them tested positive for COVID-19.

00:53:26.000 I'm gonna look back at this.

00:53:27.000 They're still six feet, staying six feet apart at the airport.

00:53:31.000 It's so fucking stupid.

00:53:33.000 It's so stupid, but it was all a thing where people looked for something to make them feel better, right?

00:53:39.000 So even though masks didn't work, Even though six foot distancing didn't work.

00:53:45.000 If you were out in public, and you knew that COVID was a thing, and there wasn't some sort of fake measure that made you at least feel safe, like you have to stand a little bit apart from each other, you have to wear the mask, we're going to be okay if we follow these rules.

00:54:00.000 We took the vaccine, we're standing six feet away, we're wearing a mask.

00:54:04.000 And so all those things, even though none of those things kept you from getting COVID, zero of those things kept you from getting COVID. In fact, there's more evidence now that the more of those shots you take, the more you get COVID. There's a bunch of different reasons for that, but I'm not a virologist or biologist.

00:54:19.000 Those things at least kept people thinking that they were doing the right thing and that maybe they're going to be safe.

00:54:25.000 Instead of just a freakout of a bunch of people with no masks and a wild disease that we've been told is going to kill everybody.

00:54:32.000 I saw the clip of him saying, you know, masks will make you feel better.

00:54:36.000 And so I thought, okay, that makes sense.

00:54:39.000 No, but he said in that clip, yeah, it's not going to help.

00:54:42.000 It's not going to help.

00:54:43.000 And then wear one.

00:54:44.000 Then people start wearing two.

00:54:46.000 Yeah, he was wearing two.

00:54:48.000 Yeah, you gotta wear two, then wear a face shield, then put a fucking diaper over your fucking head.

00:54:52.000 The wear two is just like the woke shit in San Francisco.

00:54:55.000 It never stops.

00:54:56.000 It would go to wear a beekeeper's outfit.

00:54:58.000 It would go further.

00:54:59.000 Yeah.

00:55:00.000 If they let it stay on.

00:55:01.000 I wear two masks now.

00:55:03.000 I feel more protected.

00:55:05.000 Yeah, wrap yourself in plastic and just stay underwater.

00:55:08.000 It's amazing how that guy can gaslight.

00:55:11.000 It's amazing.

00:55:13.000 He does it and his hands fidget.

00:55:15.000 You can tell with his body language.

00:55:17.000 Oh, he's fucking full of shit.

00:55:19.000 I love watching him when he's in Congress when they're interrogating him.

00:55:22.000 It's a political theater, Ron!

00:55:24.000 It's all misinformation and disinformation.

00:55:27.000 Yeah.

00:55:28.000 He's well prepared to gaslight.

00:55:30.000 But how can people still watch him and go, yeah, you know, we did the right thing.

00:55:35.000 Even in that audio that you were talking about, when he said, when you make people's lives difficult, they will drop their ideological bullshit and get vaccinated.

00:55:45.000 Fucking worked.

00:55:46.000 He said, when they were quizzing him on this, when they were asking him about this and confronting him with this, He said, that's not what I meant.

00:55:58.000 Yeah.

00:55:58.000 He's sick.

00:55:59.000 He's a sick, mad scientist.

00:56:01.000 What could you possibly have meant, other than what you said, if you're that guy?

00:56:06.000 Yeah.

00:56:06.000 This is not like a thought experiment.

00:56:08.000 You're hanging out with buddies, and you're like, imagine if you were a guy, and you would tell people.

00:56:13.000 No, that's not what that was.

00:56:14.000 That was you, the head of the NIH. You, the head of our America's Coronavirus Task Force.

00:56:22.000 You're the big guy.

00:56:23.000 You're the one America looks to for the answers, and you're saying that.

00:56:27.000 Yeah, shame them, but God did that work, man.

00:56:31.000 What I learned from that was how hard it is to stand up for something you believe in.

00:56:37.000 God damn.

00:56:38.000 To go, I'm going to do this and you start to see your friends disappear, your family.

00:56:44.000 I wasn't allowed home for Christmas.

00:56:47.000 I had to sit outside on a porch with half my family outside wearing masks on and I'm standing on the other side.

00:56:54.000 It's 38 degrees out.

00:56:55.000 And I'm going, what am I at?

00:56:57.000 Like the first AIDS patient here?

00:57:00.000 How do they respond to that now?

00:57:01.000 Do they apologize?

00:57:03.000 No.

00:57:05.000 Well, no, everything's just back.

00:57:06.000 We're just back.

00:57:07.000 We're back open.

00:57:10.000 But do you think that's just human nature?

00:57:13.000 Yeah, people are cowards.

00:57:14.000 People are cowards and there's like a mass psychosis that happens.

00:57:20.000 Everybody collectively panicked in the face of this fear that we'd never experienced before, like a global pandemic in our lifetime.

00:57:30.000 And then people fell apart.

00:57:32.000 Like, that's what happens to people when they get pressured.

00:57:35.000 There's a lot of people out there that have never really experienced actual pressure in their life.

00:57:40.000 So when something scary like a virus comes into their life, they fold up like a house of cards.

00:57:47.000 They just can't take it.

00:57:48.000 They don't know what the fuck to do.

00:57:49.000 And they don't have any personal sovereignty.

00:57:51.000 So they don't have the ability to go...

00:57:54.000 Wait, what?

00:57:54.000 What is everyone saying?

00:57:56.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:57:57.000 Why am I going to do that?

00:57:58.000 What are the consequences?

00:58:00.000 How much do we know about pharmaceutical drug companies?

00:58:03.000 Have they ever lied before?

00:58:04.000 Oh, they have.

00:58:05.000 Have they ever been fined?

00:58:06.000 Oh, the most fines in medical history?

00:58:09.000 Okay, what are these studies?

00:58:11.000 Like, how long did they take to do these studies?

00:58:14.000 It's 100% effective?

00:58:15.000 What does that mean?

00:58:16.000 How do they define 100% effective?

00:58:18.000 Does that mean if you take it, you definitely won't get COVID? Because that's what I thought it meant.

00:58:22.000 Do you know what it meant in 100% effective and stopping death?

00:58:26.000 In the vaccine...

00:58:27.000 Robert Kennedy explained this to me.

00:58:30.000 This is his words, not mine.

00:58:32.000 But if he's right, it's the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.

00:58:35.000 And I think he's right.

00:58:37.000 In the placebo group, two people died from COVID. In the vaccine group, one person died.

00:58:49.000 Two is 100% more than one.

00:58:51.000 So it's 100% effective.

00:58:58.000 Imagine that.

00:58:58.000 Yeah.

00:58:59.000 Imagine that kind of math.

00:59:00.000 That's Fauci kind of gaslighting.

00:59:02.000 Nobody really knew.

00:59:03.000 Nobody knew.

00:59:04.000 It's like 100% effective.

00:59:05.000 So you get people like Rachel Maddow on TV telling you that.

00:59:07.000 The virus stops with you.

00:59:10.000 Fuck.

00:59:10.000 You can't get infected.

00:59:11.000 You can't transmit.

00:59:12.000 And then they never even...

00:59:14.000 They had to admit later in European court that they never even tested it for transmission.

00:59:18.000 It was never tested for transmission.

00:59:20.000 Who hears that and is going to go...

00:59:23.000 Ah, fuck it.

00:59:24.000 No, everyone's like, yeah, I get to be the hero.

00:59:27.000 I get to get the shot.

00:59:28.000 And I get to end it.

00:59:30.000 And you get to put it on your fucking Instagram.

00:59:33.000 I got vaccinated today.

00:59:34.000 And you know what?

00:59:35.000 Fucking fine.

00:59:36.000 But don't shame the people who just made the decision.

00:59:40.000 That it's not for me.

00:59:41.000 I never said one negative thing about the vaccine or who got it.

00:59:45.000 And goddamn, dude, even in the stand-up scene, I was a far-right, QAnon, all the fucking things.

00:59:52.000 Horse medicine guy, you know, it's like...

00:59:54.000 Listen, man, I got it on CNN. I know it.

00:59:56.000 I know it more than anybody knows it.

00:59:58.000 I know her as well.

01:00:00.000 Chris Cuomo would not.

01:00:01.000 Did you see the Dave Smith?

01:00:02.000 Dude, Dave Smith lit him on fire.

01:00:05.000 God, he lit him on fire.

01:00:06.000 Pissed on his corpse.

01:00:06.000 That piece of shit.

01:00:08.000 That clip, actually.

01:00:10.000 I did an impression of you doing an impression of Don Lemon.

01:00:14.000 Dude, wait.

01:00:15.000 Don't get the vaccine?

01:00:17.000 Can't go to work.

01:00:17.000 Don't get the vaccine.

01:00:19.000 You can't take a poop.

01:00:20.000 Don't get the vaccine.

01:00:22.000 Unbelievable that that is on national television, and that clip lives on, and they get to just get away with that.

01:00:28.000 Well, not only that, him and Chris Cuomo, when he's talking about people injecting veterinary medicine, and then Chris Cuomo saying, Ivermectin?

01:00:37.000 A dewormer?

01:00:40.000 The stupidity in which they were describing on cable television.

01:00:45.000 First of all, you're not injecting anything, you fucking idiot.

01:00:48.000 You're taking a small pill that's one of the safest drug profiles of any drug in recorded history that's been prescribed to human beings billions of times.

01:00:58.000 And the fact that they had the balls to go on TV and frame it that way.

01:01:02.000 And then Chris Cuomo with Dave Smith saying, like, this is what we were being told.

01:01:07.000 Like, you don't have Google.

01:01:09.000 Like, you just go out on CNN and you spit out what they're telling you?

01:01:13.000 Like, you didn't look at it at all?

01:01:14.000 Even at the same token, even if you wanted to go experiment with an actual, why don't you get to do that?

01:01:22.000 So everybody has to take this experimental fucking rushed vaccine that Trump pushed through regulations.

01:01:28.000 Yeah, but you're missing the point.

01:01:29.000 The point is I was already better.

01:01:30.000 That's the dumbest part about this.

01:01:32.000 The dumbest part about let him experiment, let him not experiment.

01:01:34.000 That's not the point.

01:01:36.000 The point was I got better really quick.

01:01:38.000 Which is hooray.

01:01:39.000 Yeah, but they didn't want that.

01:01:40.000 So that's when the machine moved and they went with this horse dewormer narrative because they were worried that other people were going to start taking ivermectin.

01:01:47.000 I took a bunch of things and I talked about all...

01:01:50.000 I didn't say ivermectin by itself.

01:01:51.000 I said IV vitamins, monoclonal antibodies, Z-packs.

01:01:58.000 I literally gave the list of different things.

01:02:03.000 There was some...

01:02:05.000 What is that stuff called?

01:02:07.000 There was some sort of a steroid that I took, too.

01:02:10.000 What was it called?

01:02:11.000 You were better, like, in two days or something, right?

01:02:13.000 Yeah.

01:02:13.000 Quick!

01:02:14.000 Holy shit.

01:02:15.000 Like, quick.

01:02:15.000 How old are you?

01:02:16.000 Like, it was gone.

01:02:16.000 56. Goddamn.

01:02:18.000 I was...

01:02:18.000 I was working.

01:02:19.000 I did 10 rounds on the bag six days later.

01:02:22.000 I was like, let's see what's going on.

01:02:24.000 Because the only way to really see what's going on is see if I have endurance.

01:02:26.000 Yeah.

01:02:27.000 I did 10 rounds on the back.

01:02:28.000 I was nothing.

01:02:29.000 At five days in, I did a workout.

01:02:31.000 I tried it.

01:02:32.000 I was like, I feel pretty good.

01:02:33.000 I don't want to relapse because I kept hearing that people would work out too quick and they'd relapse.

01:02:39.000 So I said, let me just go through a decent workout and see how I feel.

01:02:43.000 If I feel at all drained or tired, I'm pretty in tune, which is how I knew something was wrong in the first place.

01:02:49.000 I'm pretty tuned in to my body.

01:02:51.000 And then the next day I said, all right, let's fucking push it.

01:02:55.000 Let's see what's up.

01:02:56.000 And I pushed it and I felt 100%.

01:02:58.000 I was 100% six days later.

01:03:01.000 And I think I was 100% five days later.

01:03:03.000 I just didn't try.

01:03:05.000 So that was bad for the narrative because the narrative was this thing was super dangerous.

01:03:10.000 You know, you need to take a vaccine.

01:03:13.000 That's the only way through it.

01:03:14.000 And my doctor was saying, no, no, it's not as dangerous as they're saying, especially someone like you who works out every day and takes vitamins every day and always eats healthy.

01:03:25.000 This is not the thing that's going to get you.

01:03:28.000 He's like, with the people that are dying, what I'm seeing is people with comorbidities.

01:03:31.000 He was explaining everything to me.

01:03:34.000 And he recommended a series of nutrients to take to prepare yourself to pump up your immune system.

01:03:43.000 And he's like, but there's a bunch of things that you can take if you do get infected that will help you recover.

01:03:48.000 And that's what I took.

01:03:49.000 And it worked.

01:03:50.000 Yeah, think how many people could have perhaps replicated that.

01:03:54.000 They didn't want that.

01:03:54.000 In order to have the emergency use authorization so that they could make sure that everybody gets vaccinated, they had to have no other treatments.

01:04:01.000 That's why they demonized ivermectin.

01:04:03.000 That's why they demonized hydroxychloroquine.

01:04:06.000 That's why they kept a lot of people from getting monoclonal antibodies.

01:04:09.000 They didn't want any solution.

01:04:10.000 Other than the one that was going to make them insane amounts of money.

01:04:13.000 And that's what they pushed for.

01:04:15.000 And we went through that.

01:04:16.000 Yeah.

01:04:16.000 And the thing is, did we learn?

01:04:18.000 That's the question.

01:04:19.000 Did we learn?

01:04:20.000 I don't think so.

01:04:20.000 I don't know.

01:04:21.000 I don't know.

01:04:21.000 I think a lot of people learned.

01:04:22.000 A lot of people learned.

01:04:24.000 You learned.

01:04:25.000 I learned, but I almost didn't survive it.

01:04:27.000 To go through that.

01:04:28.000 I had no bank account.

01:04:30.000 I had no money.

01:04:31.000 The money I was getting was from comedy club cash.

01:04:35.000 And I had just gotten to the clubs in New York City.

01:04:37.000 And I decided I'm not going, here's my papers to get in.

01:04:42.000 I'm not doing it.

01:04:43.000 Not doing it.

01:04:44.000 I fucking performed outside during those shows.

01:04:47.000 I was performing for free outside of comedy clubs.

01:04:51.000 And then once the vaccine, I said, we need your papers.

01:04:53.000 And I just said, I can't do it.

01:04:55.000 I said, okay, take care.

01:04:57.000 Wow.

01:04:57.000 So how long did you go from that to not doing stand-up?

01:05:00.000 How many months did you not do stand-up?

01:05:03.000 Well, I started just doing videos in my living room.

01:05:07.000 I lost my fucking mind.

01:05:08.000 That's the thing.

01:05:09.000 And when I tour, a lot of my fans went through a similar thing.

01:05:15.000 And so when I meet them after, it's painful.

01:05:20.000 Because everybody tells me this story.

01:05:22.000 I'm a firefighter.

01:05:23.000 I lost my job.

01:05:24.000 I'm a nurse.

01:05:24.000 I lost my job.

01:05:25.000 I lost my family.

01:05:26.000 I was isolated.

01:05:27.000 I just met a guy.

01:05:29.000 His daughter killed herself because she couldn't practice her sports.

01:05:32.000 She was locked in her bedroom.

01:05:33.000 It's like the fucking damage that was done.

01:05:37.000 And to be able to stay steady during that and go, all right, I'm going to go through this now without any friends.

01:05:43.000 And being labeled this far-right crazy person for just saying, no thanks to the shot.

01:05:51.000 You can't believe what that does to you.

01:05:56.000 And so I just feel so much for these people that did it and who stuck up to it.

01:06:02.000 Yeah, I do too.

01:06:03.000 And I also feel for the people that got suckered into taking it and now they have like serious consequences, serious health problems.

01:06:10.000 You know, I was ready to get vaccinated.

01:06:12.000 The UFC had allocated a bunch of vaccines for their employees because they were doing shows during the pandemic.

01:06:18.000 We did shows in the height of the pandemic with no crowds.

01:06:22.000 So the UFC has this place called the Apex Center and the Apex Center is a small arena that the UFC built.

01:06:28.000 And they built it to do like the Dana White Tuesday Night Contender Series and a bunch of different other fights that they filmed there.

01:06:34.000 And so we went there and they said, we've got the vaccine so you can get vaccinated.

01:06:41.000 We saved one for you if you want to get it.

01:06:43.000 I said, okay, great.

01:06:44.000 A lot of the UFC employees got it.

01:06:45.000 It was the Johnson& Johnson vaccine.

01:06:48.000 And so I called up the doctor.

01:06:49.000 Hey, can I get it today?

01:06:50.000 It was like the day of the fights.

01:06:51.000 He said, I can't do it today.

01:06:53.000 You have to come to the clinic.

01:06:54.000 Can you come on Monday?

01:06:56.000 And I said, I can't come on Monday.

01:06:58.000 I got to go back Sunday.

01:06:59.000 I said, but I'll be back in two weeks for the next fights.

01:07:02.000 We'll do it then.

01:07:03.000 In the time that I left, the vaccine got pulled for blood clots.

01:07:09.000 And I knew two people that had strokes.

01:07:13.000 One guy that I met and another guy who was a friend of a guy that I met.

01:07:16.000 And they told me that they had strokes within five days of getting vaccinated.

01:07:20.000 And I was like, wait, what?

01:07:22.000 And then they were saying...

01:07:24.000 I was reading the news story about it.

01:07:25.000 They're pulling it because of blood clots.

01:07:28.000 Yeah, I remember that.

01:07:28.000 And these guys had strokes.

01:07:29.000 And I'm like, holy shit.

01:07:32.000 And I think I talked to the UFC. I go, hey man, I don't want to take that.

01:07:37.000 And one of the guys that I talked to over there was like, I agree with you.

01:07:41.000 I took it.

01:07:42.000 I don't know.

01:07:43.000 I feel okay.

01:07:44.000 But I know a guy.

01:07:46.000 I know a guy.

01:07:46.000 Everybody knew a guy that got fucked up.

01:07:48.000 Everybody knew somebody who got fucked up by it.

01:07:50.000 But it was like all of a sudden...

01:07:52.000 The genie had come out of the bottle.

01:07:54.000 Because before that, I was all in.

01:07:55.000 I was not in any way, shape, or form anti-vax.

01:07:59.000 But it doesn't make you anti-vax for not wanting to get one of them.

01:08:03.000 My point is, in fact, I was having a conversation with...

01:08:07.000 One of the scientists that I talked to about this and I was like maybe this would be good to get people that are these crazy people that are anti-vaccine to like wake up and recognize the importance of these things.

01:08:18.000 This is my mindset back then.

01:08:20.000 And so when that happened, I decided like I'm not taking a chance with this thing.

01:08:26.000 Like this is too weird.

01:08:27.000 And then I knew another guy who had some sort of a heart problem from the Moderna one allegedly.

01:08:33.000 And then it just started getting weirder and weirder.

01:08:36.000 And then when a couple of my friends got COVID, one of the things that happened is my whole family got COVID. And I was like, well, I should probably just get it.

01:08:46.000 And I was getting tested every day because we were doing the podcast.

01:08:51.000 So the way we would do the podcast to keep everybody safe is all the employees got tested, security got tested, I got tested, everybody got tested.

01:08:58.000 And a couple of times we had to cancel shows because someone tested positive.

01:09:02.000 And then everybody had to keep getting tested.

01:09:04.000 We were very diligent about it.

01:09:06.000 But my whole family got it.

01:09:08.000 My kids got it, and they were fine.

01:09:10.000 Like, they skated through it.

01:09:12.000 Like, one day, two days, they felt great.

01:09:14.000 Like, this was early, early days.

01:09:16.000 Like, no vaccine.

01:09:18.000 No one knew what the fuck the treatment was.

01:09:20.000 My wife got it.

01:09:21.000 She took Ivermectin because they were actually prescribing it back then, and her doctor prescribed it back then.

01:09:26.000 This is the early, early days.

01:09:28.000 Yeah.

01:09:29.000 I didn't get it.

01:09:30.000 But I did feel not good.

01:09:32.000 But I was in the house, man.

01:09:34.000 I hugged the kids and they were like, you're gonna get it?

01:09:36.000 I'm like, I'm not gonna get it.

01:09:37.000 We were joking around.

01:09:39.000 They weren't even that sick.

01:09:41.000 And my wife got it worse than them for sure.

01:09:44.000 But I didn't get it, and I kept working out.

01:09:46.000 I was working out, and I remember one day I worked out, and I didn't feel good.

01:09:51.000 I was like, man, I feel fucking weak.

01:09:53.000 And I was like, I'm just going to use lighter weights and just go through three series of this routine that I do, just light and easy.

01:10:04.000 Don't push it.

01:10:05.000 Just get the blood flowing a little bit.

01:10:07.000 And then the next day I went back to the gym, and I did the same thing.

01:10:10.000 I started working out.

01:10:11.000 I was like, yeah, I don't fucking feel that good.

01:10:14.000 A little off.

01:10:15.000 Like, let's just do the same thing.

01:10:16.000 Nice and light.

01:10:17.000 Just go through the motions.

01:10:18.000 Not pushing anything.

01:10:19.000 And then the next day, I went in and I felt fucking great.

01:10:23.000 I'm like, okay, it's gone.

01:10:24.000 Whatever it was, it's gone.

01:10:25.000 Damn.

01:10:26.000 I tested every day.

01:10:27.000 Never tested positive for it.

01:10:28.000 But my body clearly was fighting something.

01:10:31.000 Like, there was something going on.

01:10:33.000 And I, because I'm so in tune with it, I recognize that I didn't push.

01:10:37.000 I do have some friends, though, that are meatheads, and they also felt that same thing.

01:10:42.000 And they were doing jujitsu, and they just kept training really hard, and they got real sick.

01:10:46.000 Because if you get sick while you're broken down from training, like, if you have a really hard, really hard workout is...

01:10:55.000 The whole thing is it makes your body stronger because it breaks you down and then your body has to build back up again.

01:11:00.000 I gotta have you help build a body here.

01:11:03.000 If you can help me, dude.

01:11:06.000 Asan's been working out.

01:11:07.000 We can have you come in here.

01:11:08.000 I do laps in my hot tub, man.

01:11:10.000 That's as much as I do.

01:11:11.000 I don't need much.

01:11:13.000 Well, you should do a little something.

01:11:14.000 You don't have to do anything rigorous.

01:11:16.000 Actually, I heard you say once, do 100 push-ups a day and it'll change your life.

01:11:21.000 And it fucking did.

01:11:23.000 Just, I couldn't do, you know, I did 15. Now, I can do 100, no problem.

01:11:28.000 Yeah, that'll change your life.

01:11:30.000 In my whole, everything.

01:11:31.000 It's like, you gotta be able, you gotta do what you're willing to do.

01:11:34.000 Well, you gotta have some activity.

01:11:36.000 Yeah.

01:11:36.000 Your body needs activity.

01:11:38.000 Your body, so my point is, if you break yourself down from really hard workouts, you will get fucking sick sick.

01:11:46.000 Like, the sickest I've ever been is when I got sick because I was working out really hard.

01:11:51.000 Because when that happens, then it hits you and you just fucking get wrecked.

01:11:55.000 And I knew a bunch of people that did that.

01:11:57.000 But you just gotta be smart.

01:11:59.000 A lot of tough guys are not smart.

01:12:02.000 Because they're just too tough.

01:12:04.000 They're too tough, and they make these decisions like, I'll just fucking power through.

01:12:07.000 Our ape brain, our man cave brain, you know, it takes over.

01:12:12.000 It does, but that's also what makes you successful.

01:12:15.000 That stupid part of your brain that can just power through things, that's what makes you get up in the morning, that's what gives you discipline.

01:12:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:22.000 But that also can fuck you up.

01:12:24.000 Can fuck you up.

01:12:25.000 Yeah, you have to know...

01:12:26.000 You have to be the general of the army.

01:12:29.000 Yeah.

01:12:29.000 You have to understand what's going on.

01:12:31.000 You can't always just be the soldier.

01:12:33.000 Sometimes you have to be strategic about it.

01:12:35.000 Like, no, no, no.

01:12:36.000 Hold.

01:12:37.000 It's not the time to attack.

01:12:38.000 Well, you need people you really trust who can tell you.

01:12:41.000 I mean, the weekend that I just filmed, I've stayed up for three days straight to finish editing it.

01:12:47.000 So I've never done that.

01:12:48.000 And I remember doing it going, this is...

01:12:51.000 I don't know if this is really stupid or really smart, but Biden could die any day and half of your set is about Biden.

01:12:58.000 The wind could take him out, man.

01:13:00.000 And so I just did three days, you know, a couple hours of sleep.

01:13:05.000 That's hilarious.

01:13:05.000 It's like a race to see if he dies.

01:13:07.000 I was supposed to film it in end of August in Chicago.

01:13:10.000 And I go, no, if he dies, this is useless.

01:13:14.000 There's three years of honing these fucking jokes in.

01:13:19.000 That's such a crazy mindset.

01:13:21.000 I got to get it out before the president dies.

01:13:23.000 I got to beat his funeral.

01:13:25.000 Oh, my God.

01:13:26.000 Do you think that they're going to put in Gavin Newsom?

01:13:31.000 That's what I think.

01:13:32.000 I keep thinking it like every day.

01:13:34.000 I'm waiting.

01:13:34.000 Waiting for the big announcement in the news.

01:13:36.000 He is so repulsive, man.

01:13:38.000 He's repulsive, but he knows how to talk.

01:13:40.000 That's all he needs.

01:13:40.000 And he's attractive, goddammit.

01:13:42.000 He's got that nice hair.

01:13:43.000 Hot privilege.

01:13:44.000 Yeah, he's a smooth gas lighter.

01:13:47.000 He's got that serial killer face, though.

01:13:50.000 Super good at running a state into the ground.

01:13:52.000 He talks like he's rapping.

01:13:55.000 Yeah.

01:13:55.000 We're gonna shut down the...

01:13:57.000 Yeah, well...

01:13:57.000 It scares me.

01:13:58.000 It's very practiced.

01:13:59.000 He's a performer, you know?

01:14:01.000 But that's what half this country wants.

01:14:04.000 They want someone who's just gonna make them feel good enough to go to work every day.

01:14:07.000 Sure.

01:14:08.000 As their rights get eroded.

01:14:10.000 Yeah.

01:14:10.000 Slowly but surely.

01:14:12.000 Kamala Harris, that would be interesting.

01:14:13.000 Even to have her for one day as president.

01:14:15.000 Bro, they've been hiding that lady.

01:14:16.000 That would be interesting.

01:14:18.000 No.

01:14:19.000 No, no, no.

01:14:21.000 That's when Resta's gonna attack.

01:14:23.000 You know I got kicked out of a comedy club for doing an impression of her?

01:14:26.000 No.

01:14:27.000 What?

01:14:27.000 They said it's no longer okay for a straight white guy to do an impression of a retarded hyena.

01:14:33.000 Wow.

01:14:33.000 Yeah.

01:14:34.000 What was the club?

01:14:37.000 It was like a makeshift thing during COVID. It was this outdoor thing, and I got thrown out.

01:14:44.000 They go, you're racist.

01:14:45.000 I was making fun of her, and I got thrown to the curb.

01:14:49.000 Wow.

01:14:49.000 Because I couldn't do the club, so I was unvaccinated.

01:14:52.000 I hate saying unvaccinated.

01:14:54.000 That makes it sound like the vaccine.

01:14:56.000 I didn't get circumcised.

01:14:57.000 I don't like being called uncircumcised.

01:15:00.000 Right.

01:15:00.000 Yeah, so you can't un-something that just is.

01:15:02.000 Right, right, right.

01:15:03.000 It's the dick and then the chop dick.

01:15:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:15:05.000 I hate that.

01:15:06.000 It is weird.

01:15:07.000 You gotta be careful with the way we phrase you're un-vaxxed.

01:15:10.000 It's like, go fuck it.

01:15:10.000 I'm just a human with blood.

01:15:12.000 Regular blood.

01:15:13.000 And you got Fauci juice.

01:15:15.000 Trump Fauci juice floating around your body.

01:15:17.000 Warp speed juice inside of you, son.

01:15:19.000 Warp speed.

01:15:20.000 And so, did the joke go over well?

01:15:23.000 Did it get a good laugh?

01:15:24.000 I was just kind of talking about race and stuff and, you're a racist!

01:15:29.000 And slow, the manager came and physically threw me to the curb.

01:15:33.000 And I just remember, what the f- what is going on?

01:15:36.000 When I started comedy, You know, I started around the time of, like, Sam Marill and Mark Norman, and I started two years after them, and we were still doing open mics.

01:15:45.000 You'd see Mark Norman on The Tonight Show, and then back at the club, hey, hey, comedy, all right, you're gay, I'm fat, praise Allah, hey, hi!

01:15:53.000 And we would say this craziest shit, and it made you good.

01:15:57.000 And then suddenly it was like, you can't say this, you can't say that, you can't say that.

01:16:01.000 And it's all made up.

01:16:03.000 It's all made up.

01:16:04.000 It all happened during the Obama administration.

01:16:06.000 It was a wave of it.

01:16:09.000 Dave Smith has tracked it.

01:16:11.000 It's really interesting how you describe it.

01:16:13.000 Really?

01:16:13.000 Yeah.

01:16:14.000 He describes like when the phrases, all the different catchphrases, that all of it's around 2012. It's like this big ramp up of all these things.

01:16:25.000 Racism, all these ideas, transphobia, all this big ramp up of all these issues happened around 2012. I'm transphobic, but that just means because I'm afraid of them.

01:16:38.000 Joe, I'm going out with two by accident.

01:16:41.000 Yeah?

01:16:41.000 Yeah, I used to do online dating, and they would have good angles.

01:16:46.000 The surgery's getting good, too.

01:16:47.000 And if they're Asian, game over.

01:16:50.000 Game over.

01:16:51.000 So I was on a date with a black woman.

01:16:55.000 It turned out to be a man.

01:16:58.000 And I had a complete mental breakdown.

01:17:01.000 I ran in the bathroom.

01:17:02.000 I called my friend.

01:17:03.000 I go, I'm out with a dude.

01:17:04.000 And he wants to fuck me.

01:17:06.000 He wants to take me home.

01:17:07.000 Jesus.

01:17:08.000 Yeah.

01:17:08.000 Yeah, that happened twice.

01:17:10.000 So, did they explain to you that they had a dick?

01:17:13.000 No.

01:17:13.000 No?

01:17:14.000 No?

01:17:15.000 If you're dealing with someone who has a mental...

01:17:17.000 I'm not saying all people that...

01:17:19.000 I don't even think trans is...

01:17:20.000 It's all fucking...

01:17:21.000 Just makes you have a seizure.

01:17:23.000 But no, they don't...

01:17:24.000 A lot of them don't tell you.

01:17:26.000 Well, a lot of them feel like you don't have to tell.

01:17:29.000 I was actually watching a podcast where a comic was arguing that you shouldn't have to tell someone that you're trans if you're dating them, even if you're having sex with them.

01:17:41.000 Hmm.

01:17:42.000 Well, you're gonna find out.

01:17:43.000 A comic was arguing that.

01:17:45.000 When their fucking vagina comes apart.

01:17:46.000 And they were doing it in just this woke, compliant way.

01:17:50.000 It wasn't like they had a well-thought-out point.

01:17:53.000 It was just like, yeah, why should you have to tell people?

01:17:55.000 Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

01:17:58.000 What are you talking about?

01:17:58.000 You should tell people if you have bad credit.

01:18:02.000 You should tell people if you're going to get involved in a romantic relationship with someone and you owe the government $100,000 in taxes.

01:18:09.000 You should have to fucking tell people that.

01:18:10.000 I might be in trouble.

01:18:12.000 I might have to run to Costa Rica.

01:18:13.000 You should have to tell people a lot of things.

01:18:16.000 Yeah, well, that's the new way.

01:18:19.000 It's just this compliance for all this new shit that didn't exist a couple years ago.

01:18:24.000 Well, the thing is that they want to say that trans women are women, so why should they have to tell you?

01:18:28.000 I think it's transphobic to call somebody trans.

01:18:31.000 Because if they're an actual woman, they're just a woman.

01:18:34.000 So why are you calling them trans?

01:18:36.000 You can't transition if you were born a woman and you feel like a woman.

01:18:39.000 You really want to support people like this?

01:18:42.000 Trans shouldn't be on the fucking table.

01:18:44.000 That's a woman.

01:18:45.000 With a dick, though.

01:18:47.000 With the dick.

01:18:49.000 Yeah.

01:18:49.000 So that's how you say trans woman.

01:18:50.000 The woman with the dick.

01:18:51.000 Just so to let everybody know.

01:18:52.000 Just say woman with a dick.

01:18:54.000 A dick person.

01:18:55.000 Yeah.

01:18:56.000 A dick holding person.

01:18:58.000 Dick holding person.

01:18:58.000 For now.

01:18:59.000 Dick having person.

01:18:59.000 You might decide to get rid of the dick.

01:19:01.000 Oh, man.

01:19:02.000 I wonder what that's...

01:19:03.000 That's the thing.

01:19:03.000 I wonder if I've ever...

01:19:05.000 No, boy, no.

01:19:06.000 Yeah.

01:19:08.000 Uh, yeah.

01:19:10.000 They should show the surgery.

01:19:12.000 You want kids to get involved, they should show the surgery of taking your forearm skin and building a penis.

01:19:18.000 It's hard enough having God-given penis.

01:19:20.000 Imagine one built by a bunch of, like, arteries.

01:19:24.000 That one's scary, but that one doesn't take away your vagina.

01:19:28.000 The scary one is the penis to a vagina, where they take it off.

01:19:33.000 They fold it in, really.

01:19:35.000 You make an opening in your body, and then you have to keep it dilated all the time.

01:19:39.000 So you have to shove something up there to make sure it doesn't close up like a fucking ear piercing.

01:19:45.000 Yo.

01:19:46.000 Man.

01:19:46.000 Yo.

01:19:48.000 One day they're going to be able to do gene therapy, and they're going to be able to literally transform someone into a woman.

01:19:54.000 That's not off the table.

01:19:57.000 They're going to be able to do that.

01:19:58.000 You know, some animals can do that.

01:19:59.000 That's one of the funniest things that Alex Jones got called out for.

01:20:03.000 The turn of the frogs, gay!

01:20:04.000 But that's a real thing.

01:20:07.000 Atrazine.

01:20:09.000 It's a pesticide or an herbicide.

01:20:13.000 They got it in with these frogs and half of the frogs changed their gender.

01:20:22.000 Like, here it is.

01:20:24.000 Atrazine is an herbicide and endocrine disruptor that can harm the sexual development of frogs by altering their hormone cycles.

01:20:31.000 Exposure to atrazine at concentrations as low as 0.1 parts per billion can cause gonadal malformations including hermaphrodites and males with multiple testes.

01:20:42.000 Atrazine can also chemically castrate male frogs, turning them into females or demasculizing them.

01:20:50.000 That's kind of happening anyways in New York City.

01:20:53.000 They're doing it to men.

01:20:55.000 Seriously, I walk around and you see these couples where the female looks like the guy and the man looks more feminine.

01:21:03.000 Men are just being emasculated.

01:21:05.000 If they allow it.

01:21:06.000 But a lot of them are.

01:21:08.000 A lot of them allow it.

01:21:09.000 I was one of those guys.

01:21:11.000 Because when the options are all of these women...

01:21:15.000 And this is the options.

01:21:17.000 I mean, women create the sexual marketplace and men kind of dictate their behavior.

01:21:21.000 Imagine if you and I were left to our own devices with no kind of woman to kind of keep you in check.

01:21:27.000 So men have been adapting.

01:21:29.000 Vikings.

01:21:29.000 That's where Vikings came from.

01:21:30.000 Yeah.

01:21:31.000 That's where pirates came from.

01:21:33.000 Yeah.

01:21:33.000 You leave men alone and not have a bunch of women around going, hey, slow the fuck down.

01:21:38.000 Slow down.

01:21:39.000 Then you have battle axes.

01:21:41.000 Boats full of savages storming villages.

01:21:45.000 Yeah, the capital.

01:21:46.000 Yeah, and so that's the overcorrection.

01:21:49.000 The overcorrection is you get these incredibly feminized men.

01:21:53.000 And one of the ways that happens is jobs.

01:21:56.000 Right?

01:21:56.000 So you have a job, and you're in this social structure for eight hours a day that is very unnatural and weird, and most companies have DEI scores, and most companies have all these different requirements, and they're openly allowed to discriminate against especially heterosexual white men.

01:22:17.000 I may know one or two things about that.

01:22:20.000 Yeah.

01:22:20.000 There was a thing that Elon tweeted, I think, today or yesterday, in response to one of these things at Disney, where one of the guys at Disney openly said, I would never hire a straight white man.

01:22:37.000 I have that on tape.

01:22:39.000 You know, I have a lawsuit.

01:22:40.000 Well, that's why I'm bringing this up.

01:22:41.000 So you and I talked about it in the green room.

01:22:44.000 Tell your story.

01:22:45.000 Tell what happened.

01:22:47.000 How this all, this shit fest.

01:22:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:22:51.000 It's quite, it's quite a long story.

01:22:54.000 I mean, it, I started, when I started comedy and started, I've been doing it 20 years.

01:22:58.000 So I've been, I've been on TV, TV shows, guest stars, co-stars.

01:23:03.000 You never really heard, you know, that's too many white guys, or, you know, it's getting a little too white.

01:23:09.000 And then I remember, like, at comedy clubs, you just start to hear people say, you know what, there's too many white guys.

01:23:15.000 Too many fucking white guys.

01:23:17.000 And then it became quite popular to just start to say, there's too many of you guys.

01:23:25.000 So what do you do?

01:23:26.000 We've got to get rid of them.

01:23:29.000 The first time it happened to me, I was invited to do a podcast.

01:23:34.000 It's a woman.

01:23:35.000 She was a lesbian.

01:23:36.000 She wanted me to come on and tell the story of being raised by gay men.

01:23:39.000 She goes, I think this will be good to bridge our two fan bases so people can hear it from a straight guy's point of view of what it's like to kind of grow up around, you know, I grew up in gay bars and piano bars and drag shows, and I'm kind of the long-term study for what it does to you.

01:23:58.000 It fucks you up.

01:24:00.000 You know, I started to think, maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm, you know...

01:24:04.000 In college, actually, I was going home to visit my family.

01:24:07.000 I tried kissing a guy just because I felt like I needed to fit in.

01:24:11.000 This shit really...

01:24:12.000 How'd that go?

01:24:14.000 Oh, he was like, get the fuck away from me.

01:24:16.000 I remember I was in the car and just going like...

01:24:20.000 Fuck, maybe I'm gay.

01:24:21.000 My dad's gay.

01:24:21.000 I got a gay brother.

01:24:23.000 One of my dad's brothers is gay.

01:24:24.000 I think my grandfather.

01:24:25.000 It's, you know, shit's genetic.

01:24:27.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:24:28.000 And I just, I lean in and go, get the fuck away from me.

01:24:31.000 Because I just wanted to fit in.

01:24:32.000 I wanted something to talk about at Thanksgiving dinner.

01:24:34.000 Right.

01:24:35.000 I wanted to be the gay, you know.

01:24:36.000 Yeah.

01:24:37.000 And so, um.

01:24:38.000 Peer pressure.

01:24:39.000 This girl invited me on to talk about this.

01:24:41.000 And she was a friend.

01:24:42.000 She texts me.

01:24:44.000 And she goes, I think this was after the George Floyd thing, maybe.

01:24:47.000 And she goes, um.

01:24:49.000 I can't have a straight white guy on anymore.

01:24:52.000 And I remember just going like, what the fuck?

01:24:56.000 You can't have me on just because of my skin color?

01:25:00.000 What changed?

01:25:01.000 It was the, during the BLM stuff, that stuff really ramped up.

01:25:04.000 It became kind of, I think, celebratory to go, fuck white people, fucking white women, white, you know.

01:25:11.000 Right.

01:25:12.000 I think it became normalized.

01:25:14.000 Yeah.

01:25:14.000 Way too, any amount is too much, but it became celebrated in a way.

01:25:19.000 And so that happened, and then it happened in another podcast, and then I had an acting agent who...

01:25:25.000 Whenever I would do stand-up, I used to host Mark Norman's show, Hot Soup.

01:25:30.000 And all the agents would come, and every couple months, someone would go, why aren't you on SNL? We've got to get you in Hollywood.

01:25:36.000 And I'd go, well, sure, sign me.

01:25:39.000 You need auditions.

01:25:41.000 And so this guy saw him and he brought me in.

01:25:43.000 It was the biggest agency at the time.

01:25:45.000 Abrams, it was called.

01:25:47.000 And I'm waiting around going, what's going on?

01:25:51.000 No auditions?

01:25:52.000 Is SNL coming to check me out?

01:25:55.000 And he emails and he goes, it's too tough out there for white guys.

01:25:59.000 He kind of was like, we're done here.

01:26:00.000 The next day, fires me.

01:26:03.000 Removes me.

01:26:03.000 No, the next day.

01:26:04.000 It was soon after.

01:26:05.000 Removed me from the roster.

01:26:06.000 I got an email.

01:26:08.000 Some more time went by and then another manager scouted me, brought me in.

01:26:13.000 It's called AGI Entertainment, I think.

01:26:16.000 And he goes, dude, you're a killer.

01:26:19.000 He goes, you got an acting resume?

01:26:21.000 He goes, we're going to get you on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

01:26:24.000 And I was like, okay, maybe this is finally somebody who's got the balls to fight this shit.

01:26:30.000 Months go by, he calls me and he goes, we hit a snag.

01:26:36.000 He said, we can't have any more white guys.

01:26:41.000 We're not hiring white guys.

01:26:42.000 We're not representing white guys.

01:26:43.000 And I just was like, what the fuck is going on?

01:26:46.000 How could you say that?

01:26:48.000 And I go, is it company policy?

01:26:51.000 And he goes, yeah.

01:26:54.000 So, halfway through the conversation, I take my phone out.

01:26:57.000 Because this happened so many times.

01:26:59.000 I was literally, I was losing my fucking mind.

01:27:01.000 My therapist goes, dude, you gotta start recording this.

01:27:04.000 You have to record this stuff, because it was happening every month.

01:27:08.000 I got a commercial campaign.

01:27:10.000 They go, you've been replaced with a black woman.

01:27:12.000 He goes, you're the guy for the job?

01:27:15.000 It was like a hosting thing where you got to do impressions.

01:27:17.000 I was perfect for it.

01:27:19.000 They replaced me.

01:27:20.000 So I started, you know, being prepared.

01:27:22.000 And I recorded it.

01:27:24.000 And I got it on tape.

01:27:26.000 And I just...

01:27:27.000 What did you get on tape?

01:27:28.000 What did he say?

01:27:29.000 I got him literally saying, we will not represent white men and its company policy.

01:27:35.000 He said it in plain...

01:27:36.000 It's not...

01:27:36.000 It couldn't be any more clear.

01:27:38.000 Wow.

01:27:39.000 He said, we cannot work with you just because your skin color.

01:27:42.000 And where were you when you recorded this?

01:27:45.000 Were you in New York?

01:27:46.000 Yeah, I was in New York.

01:27:47.000 So you're allowed to do it.

01:27:47.000 You're allowed to do that in New York?

01:27:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:49.000 I didn't even know that.

01:27:50.000 Do you have to tell them that you're recording?

01:27:52.000 No.

01:27:52.000 No?

01:27:52.000 No.

01:27:53.000 Wow.

01:27:53.000 No, I was sitting at my pod.

01:27:54.000 I did like a little, because I couldn't work because of the vaccine stuff.

01:27:58.000 So I was just locked in my room for two years making Instagram videos.

01:28:01.000 I mean, I went from zero to a million, over a million followers just from...

01:28:05.000 I was doing Fauci every day, doing cameos, going on the radio as Fauci.

01:28:10.000 Wow.

01:28:11.000 And it was just bizarre.

01:28:14.000 But dude, it fucked me up because it's so confusing to have someone go, you are the man for the job.

01:28:22.000 I had a great resume.

01:28:23.000 I mean, I was being considered for big Hollywood roles.

01:28:27.000 I was brought in for Sneaky Pete, Giovanni Ribisi.

01:28:30.000 I was up for that role.

01:28:31.000 And making my own films.

01:28:35.000 And yeah, it fucked me up.

01:28:38.000 I got really depressed.

01:28:40.000 I lost my mind.

01:28:41.000 And so, when you recorded this on tape, what happened after you recorded it on tape?

01:28:47.000 After that, I was too afraid, because when I would tell people about this, they would go, well, whatever.

01:28:53.000 White guys have had it good.

01:28:54.000 I'm going, I just fucking got here!

01:28:56.000 But isn't that one of the things that someone said to you?

01:28:58.000 Like, white guys have had a good run?

01:29:01.000 People say that to me all the time.

01:29:02.000 But wasn't that one of the things that one of the agents had said to you?

01:29:05.000 Eh, I mean, I don't know if an agent said that, but...

01:29:10.000 You were telling me that someone said it to you.

01:29:11.000 Comedy, yeah, comedy, clubs, a lot of, not necessarily clubs, but like the independent run shows, there would be like no white people allowed shows.

01:29:21.000 What?

01:29:22.000 Yeah, oh yeah.

01:29:22.000 Oh yeah.

01:29:23.000 Yeah, I was at a club and I did a spot.

01:29:25.000 Guy goes, you going on the next show?

01:29:27.000 And I go, yeah.

01:29:27.000 He goes, I didn't know you were in the LGBT plus 2RQR community.

01:29:30.000 And I go, what?

01:29:31.000 He goes, yeah, it's only no straight people allowed.

01:29:34.000 And I was like, what the fuck?

01:29:37.000 What the fuck is going on?

01:29:39.000 And so after that, I waited a while.

01:29:45.000 I talked to my therapist.

01:29:46.000 I just didn't know what to do.

01:29:48.000 Because I didn't want that to become a force of its own.

01:29:52.000 I wanted to have my talent lead the way, which it had always been doing.

01:29:58.000 And it's tough to have people say, oh, you're just being a victim or whatever.

01:30:03.000 And it's like, yeah, sometimes you're a victim and you have to fight it to heal from it and to move on from it.

01:30:08.000 And so I thought, if I don't fight this, I'm going to kill myself.

01:30:13.000 Because it's so humiliating to have someone go, your skin color is just not the time for it.

01:30:19.000 And so I just thought, I'm going to go for it.

01:30:23.000 And I just put it on Instagram.

01:30:24.000 I said, hey, I just got turned down for being white.

01:30:28.000 Any attorneys out there?

01:30:29.000 And one guy reached out and goes, I'm a discrimination attorney.

01:30:32.000 He goes, this is one of the most clear acts of discrimination I've ever seen.

01:30:37.000 He said, it's so clear cut.

01:30:41.000 And so that was a couple years ago.

01:30:43.000 So it's an ongoing thing.

01:30:45.000 These things take a long time.

01:30:47.000 And so you're suing for discrimination?

01:30:51.000 Is that what you're suing for?

01:30:52.000 Yeah.

01:30:53.000 Every race is protected under the civil rights laws.

01:30:58.000 Isn't that crazy, though, that they would think they're so encaptured by this fucking mind virus that they would think it's okay to be racist to white people?

01:31:06.000 Not only okay, but, like, celebratory.

01:31:09.000 Yeah.

01:31:09.000 You know?

01:31:10.000 Wild.

01:31:11.000 Yeah.

01:31:11.000 And I don't let people fucking do that to me.

01:31:13.000 People think I'm just this nice little—I'm a fucking animal.

01:31:17.000 When you grow up in a crazy environment and you survive it, man, it's like, fucking come at me.

01:31:24.000 And I said, it's a hill I'll die on.

01:31:27.000 I don't care.

01:31:28.000 I was like, this is war.

01:31:29.000 We are in a full-blown culture war.

01:31:32.000 And I would give up everything for it.

01:31:37.000 Because I also owe it to, you know, people that can't fight for themselves.

01:31:43.000 I had this 10-year period where this shit wasn't going on.

01:31:46.000 I built up my acting chops, my comedy chops, with nobody saying, you can't do that, you can't say that.

01:31:52.000 And so I had this kind of, you know, this energy.

01:31:56.000 I go, I have to...

01:31:58.000 No one's going to do it for you, you know?

01:31:59.000 I saw Jordan Peterson...

01:32:01.000 Fight for that Bill C-16 thing.

01:32:03.000 Yeah.

01:32:04.000 And I go, holy shit.

01:32:06.000 It's worth watching the congressional hearing in Canada where he's explaining you can't compel speech.

01:32:12.000 You can't tell somebody you have to say my pronouns or you go to jail.

01:32:16.000 He's like, this is going to get out of fucking control.

01:32:19.000 Everything he said came true.

01:32:21.000 Yeah.

01:32:22.000 I had him on at the beginning of that stuff.

01:32:25.000 And I remember people saying to me, like, why do you care about what happens, these obscure moments that happen in these universities?

01:32:33.000 And I had Brett Weinstein on after the Evergreen College thing, same kind of thing.

01:32:37.000 And I was saying, like, you know, these people are going to graduate.

01:32:41.000 Do you understand what this is the future?

01:32:44.000 Yeah.

01:32:44.000 Like, these attitudes that are being, these kids are being indoctrinated into these mindsets, they're gonna expand, and they're gonna be involved in the workplace, and they're gonna be involved in politics and culture.

01:32:56.000 Like, this mind virus is going to go everywhere.

01:32:59.000 And you gotta say what it is.

01:33:01.000 You gotta call it out when you see it.

01:33:03.000 This is kinda crazy.

01:33:06.000 And, obviously, all these years later, I mean, this was like 2016, I guess?

01:33:10.000 Yeah.

01:33:11.000 So here we are, you know, Well, he's part of the reason I pursued this, Jordan, because I just...

01:33:16.000 He's like, you have to tell the truth.

01:33:18.000 That's it.

01:33:19.000 Tell the truth.

01:33:20.000 Or tell the truth, or at least don't lie.

01:33:22.000 You know, it's like, well, it's like, you can't bloody compel my speech, you know?

01:33:27.000 That's a pretty good impression.

01:33:27.000 Clean your damn room, you know?

01:33:29.000 It's like, finger a cat.

01:33:30.000 Rescue your father from the belly.

01:33:31.000 It's like, well, you know, it's like...

01:33:34.000 How'd you develop that one?

01:33:35.000 That's a good one.

01:33:36.000 You know why?

01:33:37.000 Because I was in a little emasculated little he-him living in New York, and I would sit in my room and watch his lectures with my fucking head would explode.

01:33:47.000 I go, holy, this is all the shit that I think and feel, but I haven't been able to articulate.

01:33:51.000 He's a brilliant guy.

01:33:52.000 And my life changed forever.

01:33:55.000 Once I heard him say that, tell the truth, at least don't lie, and my life has changed forever.

01:34:01.000 That video of him with Kathy Newman.

01:34:03.000 Have you seen that?

01:34:04.000 That's amazing.

01:34:05.000 I watch that every week.

01:34:06.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

01:34:07.000 It's a master class in how people will try to bend your work.

01:34:10.000 And he does not bend.

01:34:12.000 He'll be like, well, you know, women need to, like, contend in the workplace.

01:34:15.000 So what you're saying is women should just be raped in the break room.

01:34:18.000 It's like, no!

01:34:19.000 It's like, I'm not saying that!

01:34:21.000 It's a funny conversation because it's all that gotcha shit gone wrong because you're doing it with a skilled person, a skilled linguist, and someone who really understands what he's saying and has a deep understanding of the history.

01:34:35.000 Of Marxist and Leninist philosophy and what it leads to, what communism and socialism actually leads to.

01:34:42.000 What you're actually saying is, by forcing people to comply, there's only one way you force people to comply, and that's violence.

01:34:51.000 That is the only way.

01:34:52.000 Ultimately, we're going to put you in jail.

01:34:54.000 What happens if I resist?

01:34:55.000 We're going to kill you.

01:34:56.000 It gets to that.

01:34:57.000 It gets to violence.

01:34:58.000 We're going to grab you, we're going to hunt you down, we're going to put you in a cage, and then we're going to force everybody else to comply as well.

01:35:03.000 And this is what he's saying.

01:35:04.000 He's like, you cannot go down this path if you do not know where it leads to.

01:35:08.000 You can't think you're being virtuous by standing up for the disenfranchised and imposing this, especially the gender pronoun thing, which at that point in time, there was 78 different Recognized gender pronouns.

01:35:21.000 Yeah.

01:35:22.000 Like who knows how many there are now?

01:35:23.000 Like now it's nuts.

01:35:24.000 Thousands.

01:35:25.000 It's just like people just make things up and that's what's the fun thing about TikTok.

01:35:29.000 China is so clever.

01:35:30.000 Oh my god.

01:35:31.000 They're so good with TikTok is so good.

01:35:34.000 It's so they're so smart what they did and then to show you these outrageous people Over and over again with fake eyelashes, reading stories to kids, just freaking everybody out with a bunch of different, you know, I'm two-spirit, and I'm this and that, and I'm trans-masculine.

01:35:50.000 The whole thing is just nuts.

01:35:53.000 And then shutting down Free speech.

01:35:56.000 I mean, I've been banned for, shut down for three years.

01:35:59.000 They froze my, I was going, all my pandemic shit.

01:36:02.000 On TikTok?

01:36:03.000 Yeah.

01:36:03.000 They banned you?

01:36:04.000 What'd you do?

01:36:05.000 Well, they don't have to tell you.

01:36:07.000 Besides being white.

01:36:09.000 I was texting while white.

01:36:10.000 They don't have to tell you.

01:36:11.000 That's part of when you sign up.

01:36:13.000 Right.

01:36:13.000 Especially TikTok.

01:36:14.000 And it's a communist Chinese act.

01:36:17.000 We are let, it's an act of war living in our pocket.

01:36:20.000 I don't use it.

01:36:21.000 I can't believe it.

01:36:22.000 It's the one I don't use.

01:36:23.000 Well, I was telling you, I changed my name to Queer Disabled Comedian.

01:36:28.000 And suddenly, I started getting ad offers from TikTok.

01:36:35.000 And then when I did the bit about where I come out on stage as gay, that was the first video that they let kind of through.

01:36:43.000 Is it because the algorithm let it through?

01:36:45.000 Probably.

01:36:46.000 Did it get reviewed eventually?

01:36:48.000 Yeah, it just got removed again.

01:36:50.000 I just posted it again.

01:36:52.000 Because I'm like, fuck you!

01:36:53.000 So I keep posting these things over and over.

01:36:55.000 You just post it under different names?

01:36:57.000 Yeah.

01:36:57.000 Yeah, my youngest daughter is obsessed with the vegan teacher.

01:37:01.000 The vegan teacher is this crazy lady on TikTok that's like this crazy vegan lady and she keeps getting banned.

01:37:06.000 And so they keep bringing her, she keeps making up new accounts and coming back.

01:37:14.000 That's what I do on stage.

01:37:15.000 I keep coming up with new identities to see what I can get away with.

01:37:18.000 What is this?

01:37:19.000 Oh, this is his career disability.

01:37:21.000 Yeah, that's been frozen for three years.

01:37:23.000 Wow.

01:37:24.000 Yeah.

01:37:25.000 And look at the first video.

01:37:26.000 That's how many views all of my videos used to get.

01:37:29.000 3.1 million.

01:37:30.000 Yeah, I was blowing up.

01:37:31.000 I was getting like 10, 20,000 followers a day.

01:37:34.000 Wow.

01:37:36.000 Wow.

01:37:37.000 And that's the difference between a comic selling out a theater and...

01:37:41.000 Half fill in a club.

01:37:43.000 Yeah.

01:37:43.000 You know, that type of exposure.

01:37:45.000 Oh, for sure.

01:37:46.000 Especially comically.

01:37:47.000 He was actually very funny.

01:37:48.000 When you have these messages that come and say that your account's being frozen, they don't give you any reason?

01:37:55.000 Do they say non-compliance or community standards?

01:37:58.000 They can say disinformation, hateful behavior.

01:38:02.000 But what did they say?

01:38:03.000 Each one is different.

01:38:04.000 You know what I mean?

01:38:04.000 Like, each video is...

01:38:06.000 But when they pulled your account, what did they say?

01:38:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:08.000 Hateful behavior.

01:38:09.000 Hateful.

01:38:09.000 My Instagram got pulled, too.

01:38:12.000 No.

01:38:12.000 Oh, bro, that's when I lost it.

01:38:14.000 When did that get pulled?

01:38:15.000 It's back now, right?

01:38:16.000 It's back.

01:38:17.000 By the grace of God, I met somebody outside the Comedy Cellar.

01:38:21.000 And she goes, can I follow you on Instagram?

01:38:22.000 I said, no.

01:38:23.000 They just banned my account.

01:38:25.000 And that was the only way I was making money.

01:38:28.000 Was selling tickets from my Instagram videos and going on the road.

01:38:32.000 And this girl said, I just quit working there.

01:38:35.000 And I said, can they just turn you off and on?

01:38:39.000 She goes, yeah.

01:38:40.000 I go, can you have my account turned back on?

01:38:43.000 She goes, absolutely.

01:38:44.000 I gave her my information.

01:38:46.000 She sent it to somebody on Instagram.

01:38:47.000 They just flipped the switch back on.

01:38:49.000 The next day I was back.

01:38:52.000 So is it just completely subjective based on what an employee decides that you're offensive?

01:38:57.000 Yes.

01:38:58.000 They have a whole fucking department.

01:39:00.000 And if they go, well, they got two complaints or whatever, he's being transphobic or whatever the fuck bullshit is going on at the time.

01:39:07.000 And you can't have that with art.

01:39:10.000 No, especially not comedy.

01:39:12.000 Especially not comedy.

01:39:13.000 I mean, the whole idea is to push limits and the whole idea is to like walk that crazy line And say wild shit for fun.

01:39:21.000 It's just for fun.

01:39:22.000 These aren't like, you can't put them in the same categories as hate speech because no one's trying to be hateful.

01:39:29.000 They're just trying to get laughs and they're getting laughs oftentimes by saying something that the audience knows they don't mean.

01:39:36.000 They're saying it because it's funny, not because it's true, not because they want you to think it's true, because it's a ridiculous thing to say and it's a funny thing to say.

01:39:45.000 And when you hear the audience laugh, that means it worked.

01:39:47.000 It was effective.

01:39:48.000 It doesn't mean you can then put that in print and say that this is an anti-LBGTQT plus AI2. Who gets to decide?

01:40:00.000 It'd be like pointing to a random person in the crowd at the mothership going, you get to pick what's hateful and what's not, and what comedians get to perform.

01:40:08.000 But also to have random people working at Instagram that get to...

01:40:12.000 We get to decide that.

01:40:13.000 Or TikTok.

01:40:14.000 They just get to decide that.

01:40:15.000 Yeah.

01:40:16.000 It's so crazy.

01:40:16.000 And, you know, we know, well, thank God for Elon Musk and Twitter and X now, whatever.

01:40:21.000 I'm never calling it X. I hate that.

01:40:23.000 Well, porn pops every time.

01:40:24.000 It's kind of crazy that they have porn on it.

01:40:26.000 But that was always the thing.

01:40:27.000 No, but I mean, X, every porn site is like XXX. So you type it in and usually a porn site pops up.

01:40:33.000 Well, that's maybe your browsing history, sir.

01:40:35.000 Well, that's talking about a friend of mine.

01:40:37.000 But at least on that site, you don't have to worry about that shit.

01:40:40.000 You can get wild.

01:40:42.000 You can do whatever the fuck you want there.

01:40:44.000 I got banned the day or week he...

01:40:47.000 Actually, I had his attorney reach out to him personally.

01:40:50.000 Because I was banned right before he started.

01:40:53.000 And I go, oh, Elon's taking over.

01:40:56.000 They're going to give me my account back.

01:40:57.000 And, you know, it just didn't happen.

01:41:00.000 And I was doing an RFK fundraiser.

01:41:04.000 I was doing stand-up with RFK Jr. And Elon's attorney was there.

01:41:10.000 Oh, wow.

01:41:11.000 And she texted him or something.

01:41:13.000 He's like, okay, pretty cool.

01:41:14.000 We'll turn it back on.

01:41:16.000 So it's pretty funny.

01:41:17.000 We'll get it going again.

01:41:19.000 Well, there's no way he could have known.

01:41:22.000 No, there's so many fucking people on there.

01:41:24.000 I contacted him about a bunch of people that had gotten unfairly banned, including Megan Murphy, who got unfairly banned for saying that a man is never a woman.

01:41:33.000 They banned her forever.

01:41:34.000 Well, good.

01:41:36.000 Fucking racist.

01:41:38.000 She's a feminist.

01:41:39.000 That was so crazy.

01:41:40.000 She was just arguing about that trans men or trans women are invading women's spaces and imposing masculine behavior and masculine character.

01:41:49.000 They're acting like men and taking over women's spaces.

01:41:52.000 Well, that was actually the only way to get a movie role for me.

01:41:55.000 I was in that Daily Wire Lady Ballers.

01:41:58.000 And I thought, how funny that I get kind of canceled for being a white guy.

01:42:03.000 And now the first role...

01:42:04.000 Actually, no, I was in the Western with Gina Carano.

01:42:08.000 Oh, the one with Cowboy?

01:42:09.000 Yeah.

01:42:10.000 Cowboy Sarone.

01:42:11.000 I had to kick him in the fucking nuts.

01:42:12.000 Did you?

01:42:13.000 I had to beat the shit out of him.

01:42:14.000 That's hilarious.

01:42:15.000 That must have been terrifying.

01:42:16.000 Oh, we fought every day.

01:42:18.000 Yeah, he almost killed me.

01:42:19.000 That must have been terrifying.

01:42:20.000 There was a scene where...

01:42:22.000 Fake hit that guy in the nuts.

01:42:23.000 No, not fake.

01:42:24.000 He goes, fucking get me in the nuts.

01:42:26.000 And he goes, so he had me actually kick him in the nuts.

01:42:28.000 Do you have a cup on?

01:42:29.000 No!

01:42:30.000 And I was like, dude, if you're fucking with me and I do this and you kill me, this is not...

01:42:34.000 And he's like, fucking...

01:42:35.000 And I ran and kicked him in the nuts.

01:42:37.000 We had to do it like five times.

01:42:38.000 Oh my god.

01:42:39.000 That guy is an animal.

01:42:40.000 Oh, he's a savage.

01:42:41.000 He would be like, let's just improvise the fight scenes.

01:42:44.000 I'm like, I'm a Lego next to you, dude.

01:42:48.000 Yeah.

01:42:49.000 He's too wild.

01:42:50.000 Yeah.

01:42:52.000 He's wild.

01:42:53.000 He's so crazy.

01:42:54.000 And Gina, man, she is a monster.

01:42:57.000 I mean, the stuff she had to do in that film every day, get fucking killed and raped and beat up, and they found me on Instagram.

01:43:06.000 Wow.

01:43:06.000 I was on my couch depressed, and I got a DM, do you want to interview or audition for the new Gina Carano movie?

01:43:15.000 That's great.

01:43:16.000 And she's suing Disney right now.

01:43:18.000 Yeah.

01:43:19.000 I think she should win.

01:43:20.000 I hope so.

01:43:21.000 I mean, what she did was...

01:43:22.000 I mean, the whole thing is just so...

01:43:24.000 Everyone's so crazy.

01:43:26.000 Everybody gets so nuts.

01:43:28.000 And it happens so fast.

01:43:30.000 It's a wild ride from like 2017 on.

01:43:35.000 It's like once Trump got into office, there was like all the women's marches.

01:43:39.000 Remember those?

01:43:40.000 Yeah, that's where I got pussy.

01:43:42.000 Yeah, but those were like everybody...

01:43:44.000 There were women.

01:43:46.000 It was just women.

01:43:47.000 Yeah.

01:43:48.000 It wasn't like, what's a woman?

01:43:49.000 No.

01:43:50.000 It's like, there they are.

01:43:50.000 No.

01:43:51.000 Women are marching.

01:43:52.000 Pussy hats on.

01:43:53.000 There's no dudes in wigs.

01:43:55.000 And within a couple years, this mass wave of confusion just goes through the culture.

01:44:00.000 And everybody's at each other's throats on social media.

01:44:04.000 I never...

01:44:06.000 Like, interact on social media.

01:44:08.000 I just don't do it.

01:44:10.000 You can't.

01:44:10.000 I don't think it's good for you.

01:44:11.000 You can't.

01:44:13.000 I've taken the bait a couple times.

01:44:15.000 I mean, you know, if you're just a regular person and then suddenly you start blowing up or whatever and people are calling you all the worst possible names in the world, like, it's a little alarming at first and you want to defend yourself, but now, I mean, you can't.

01:44:29.000 I think if you wanted to really engage people on actual ideas, you'd have to do it anonymously.

01:44:34.000 I think if you really want to like – if you want to have honest discussions with people publicly about stuff, you're really better off doing it anonymously.

01:44:42.000 Because if you did it anonymously – and I don't have any desire to do this either – but if you do it anonymously, at least you could – there's no personal attacks.

01:44:51.000 No one knows who you are.

01:44:52.000 No one knows anything about you.

01:44:53.000 You could just talk about this issue.

01:44:55.000 You know, whatever the issue is, like AI, whatever it is.

01:44:59.000 Whatever it is is people are debating online.

01:45:01.000 You could have discussions about it.

01:45:02.000 You know, like people do on like 4chan or something like that, or Reddit.

01:45:06.000 Like you have a fucking crazy fake screen name.

01:45:09.000 No one has to know who you are.

01:45:10.000 And you can talk about things.

01:45:12.000 But if you're a public person like you are, and you're going, like, I see people arguing with people back and forth about the quality of their work.

01:45:21.000 Musicians arguing with fans or trolls about whether or not their last album was good.

01:45:25.000 I'm like, what are you doing, man?

01:45:27.000 You are inviting mental illness into your home.

01:45:30.000 You gotta disconnect.

01:45:32.000 Disconnect, man.

01:45:33.000 Disconnect.

01:45:33.000 And most people are not disconnected because it is the one form of conflict that they can engage in that doesn't really have consequences.

01:45:41.000 Unless you say something really crazy and then it goes public.

01:45:44.000 But that's pretty rare.

01:45:45.000 Most people are just attacking people like randomly, getting out their aggression, just attacking people and engaging in arguments online.

01:45:53.000 It's like, my God.

01:45:54.000 It's a great distraction though.

01:45:56.000 To make it in our industry, it takes 100% of your time and effort.

01:46:01.000 I mean, I'm in almost 20 years to the point where I can now not worry about feeding myself.

01:46:08.000 Well, you came to my attention because of the videos.

01:46:12.000 That's what I found out about you.

01:46:14.000 And then comics.

01:46:15.000 Comics will all have very high praise of you.

01:46:17.000 So that's a nice thing to know.

01:46:18.000 It's a nice thing to know.

01:46:19.000 And so...

01:46:20.000 Hey, hey, comedy!

01:46:22.000 That was actually Mark Norman laughing at your jokes when you were new was like the first Tonight Show.

01:46:28.000 Oh, yeah, man.

01:46:28.000 And he would just go, ha!

01:46:31.000 So all the comics, that became the way to let somebody know you were good.

01:46:36.000 Everyone would do the Mark Norman laugh.

01:46:37.000 So nobody would actually give a genuine laugh, but if you're, hey, ha, ha, ha, you're like, all right.

01:46:43.000 Right, someone says, that's a good one.

01:46:45.000 Yeah, because a lot of times when someone has a really funny joke, I'm always like, ah, that's good.

01:46:50.000 That's good.

01:46:51.000 You know, that's the same thing.

01:46:52.000 Yeah.

01:46:52.000 And, you know, what I did, actually, because I was so afraid to say what I actually thought, I started doing impressions, because I would get my real thoughts out through my impressions, and people would link it to them.

01:47:05.000 So, like, I'd be talking about feminism, doing Bill Burr, be like, right, I went out with this girl last night, this fucking cunt, right?

01:47:11.000 Actually, like, toxic masculinity, right?

01:47:14.000 It's fucking brutal, right?

01:47:15.000 I gotta listen to that shit on a fucking Monday!

01:47:17.000 And everybody would erupt and I'd go, oh my god, they think that was Bill Burr's thought.

01:47:22.000 That was me.

01:47:23.000 And so my whole act became, you know, just doing Trump, all sorts of stuff.

01:47:29.000 And I'm pulling back from that a little now that I have some balls.

01:47:32.000 I've grown some balls.

01:47:33.000 But it's still a fun way to do it.

01:47:35.000 It's still a fun way to do it.

01:47:36.000 It's a nice little way that you can sneak things in.

01:47:42.000 Yeah.

01:47:43.000 You're pretty good at them.

01:47:45.000 Impressions?

01:47:46.000 I have a limited range.

01:47:47.000 The ones that I do I can do good, but I have a limited range.

01:47:51.000 Have you ever done them on stage?

01:47:53.000 Yeah, I used to do a Mike Tyson impression.

01:47:56.000 Because Mike Tyson yelled at some guy in the audience that he would fuck him until he loved him.

01:48:00.000 And I was like, do you have any idea how long that would take?

01:48:04.000 And he would have to decide.

01:48:06.000 He would have to decide if he loved it.

01:48:08.000 Oh yeah, I remember that.

01:48:09.000 I could do Tyson, I could do a few different people.

01:48:12.000 It's funny when people say it's cheap or stupid.

01:48:15.000 I go, you just did an impression of your mom or the mailman.

01:48:18.000 Everybody's doing, you know...

01:48:20.000 Fuck those people.

01:48:21.000 Yeah.

01:48:21.000 Funny is funny.

01:48:22.000 If it's funny, it's funny.

01:48:23.000 If it's good, it's good.

01:48:24.000 If it's not good, you won't laugh.

01:48:26.000 That's it.

01:48:26.000 End of story.

01:48:27.000 In this line?

01:48:27.000 Yeah, thanks.

01:48:28.000 Anybody who says it's cheap is like, there's cheap stuff.

01:48:31.000 We all know cheap stuff, but cheap stuff's not impressions.

01:48:33.000 Some great people do great impressions, and it's part of the fun of watching them on stage.

01:48:39.000 Like when Shane does Trump.

01:48:41.000 You know, it's like, it's so good.

01:48:43.000 It's so crazy good.

01:48:44.000 Or he does Conor McGregor.

01:48:46.000 I haven't heard of Conor McGregor.

01:48:48.000 Yeah, he does Conor McGregor in Roadhouse.

01:48:51.000 It's very funny.

01:48:52.000 But it's just, it's fun.

01:48:54.000 And the crowd loves it.

01:48:56.000 And you're there to please the crowd.

01:48:57.000 I'm one of the crowd.

01:48:59.000 I love it.

01:48:59.000 Yeah.

01:49:00.000 You know, this idea, this...

01:49:02.000 It's all perpetrated by artists who either can't do the impressions or are under this false idea that there's a way that you're supposed to do comedy.

01:49:12.000 There was an alt way that you're supposed to do comedy where you weren't supposed to try hard.

01:49:15.000 There was a lot of that.

01:49:16.000 And if you acted things out or you have too much energy, they didn't like you.

01:49:20.000 You were supposed to not try and you're supposed to just stand there and be kind of monotone-ish.

01:49:26.000 Yeah, that's why I didn't.

01:49:27.000 I don't really hang out with comedians.

01:49:29.000 I am now a little bit because it's a little more comfortable at the mothership, but I didn't like those things getting in my head and then thinking, are these comics judging me in the back or whatever?

01:49:39.000 They probably are.

01:49:39.000 Who cares?

01:49:39.000 No, they are.

01:49:40.000 They're all the ones who do suck.

01:49:41.000 But when you're new, when you're fresh, and you're malleable, you need to grow a foundation.

01:49:47.000 Ooh, a lot of people get sucked down that road.

01:49:49.000 They get sucked down that road in life, and not just in comedy, but in pretty much every world, every community.

01:49:56.000 You get sucked into the ideas of the peers.

01:50:00.000 You want to fit in.

01:50:02.000 You want to be one of them.

01:50:02.000 You've got to lift the top, remember?

01:50:04.000 It's like the ideas of your peers.

01:50:07.000 You get sucked into this idea that this is the way I'm supposed to think and behave.

01:50:12.000 This is the way I'm supposed to perform my art.

01:50:14.000 When I first started out, everybody had to be clean.

01:50:19.000 You had to be a clean comedian.

01:50:21.000 Because when I started out, it was the 80s.

01:50:22.000 I started in 88, and that was the time where everybody wanted to get on The Tonight Show, and everybody wanted to get a sitcom.

01:50:28.000 So you develop this squeaky clean, television-friendly act.

01:50:33.000 And if you didn't have a squeaky clean, television-friendly act, oh, this fucking idiot.

01:50:37.000 He's just gonna do the road.

01:50:39.000 You're just gonna be a road act.

01:50:40.000 Damn.

01:50:41.000 And that's what I was.

01:50:42.000 I barely got work in town.

01:50:43.000 Did you ever do Carson or anything?

01:50:45.000 No.

01:50:46.000 No.

01:50:46.000 I never did any of those talk shows until I became a guest because I was on a television show.

01:50:53.000 I was on Fear Factor or something like that.

01:50:54.000 I just sat down and talked to Conan O'Brien, that kind of thing.

01:50:58.000 But I didn't do stand-up on it, first of all, because I didn't like that kind of stand-up.

01:51:01.000 I didn't like five minutes.

01:51:03.000 That drove me nuts.

01:51:04.000 I had done a couple of things.

01:51:05.000 I did the MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour and a couple of those other TV-type shows.

01:51:10.000 But...

01:51:11.000 I wanted to be a club comic.

01:51:13.000 That's all I wanted to do.

01:51:14.000 I wanted to be a professional club comic.

01:51:17.000 And I remember everybody saying, you're never going to get work.

01:51:19.000 You're never going to get work.

01:51:20.000 And part of me was like, I don't...

01:51:23.000 I mean, I remember I had this conversation once with this comic.

01:51:25.000 And he was the host of Open Mic Night.

01:51:27.000 And he said, listen, you got to change your act or you're never going to work.

01:51:30.000 And he was a professional.

01:51:32.000 And he was like doing okay.

01:51:34.000 He was pretty good.

01:51:34.000 Like a professional, like a local middle act type guy that had like a competent 20 minutes.

01:51:40.000 It was not bad.

01:51:41.000 It wasn't good, but back then I thought it was really good.

01:51:43.000 Because I was 21. I actually saw him live before I ever got paid to do comedy.

01:51:49.000 I went to see Dom Herrera and he was one of the opening acts.

01:51:52.000 And when he told me, he was like, you're never going to get any work.

01:51:56.000 You've got to stop swearing.

01:51:57.000 And I go, but all my favorite comedians are like Andrew Dice Clay.

01:52:01.000 He goes, you're not Dice Clay.

01:52:04.000 I was like, okay, but at one point in time, Dice Clay, he's like, look, you don't have to listen, but you're not going to have a career.

01:52:10.000 And he like fucking stormed away and left me feeling like shit.

01:52:12.000 And then four or five years later, I came back to the club headlining because I was on news radio.

01:52:20.000 And the place was sold out.

01:52:22.000 And he said, what do you want me to say?

01:52:24.000 I go, tell them you gave me the worst advice that anybody ever gave me.

01:52:29.000 And then tell them all the TV credits that I have that you don't have.

01:52:33.000 And he just like shook his head a little bit and just walked away because he knew it was right.

01:52:39.000 Because he was still the same guy.

01:52:40.000 He was still trapped.

01:52:41.000 He was still a shitty, mediocre, barely funny act that was passable under the best conditions possible only.

01:52:49.000 But like you would never repeat his jokes at a party.

01:52:51.000 Nothing he said was ever fun.

01:52:53.000 And I went up and killed.

01:52:54.000 And it was so glorious.

01:52:56.000 It was fun.

01:52:56.000 Oh, what a sweet little moment.

01:52:58.000 Dirty.

01:52:59.000 But there was like a lot of the comedians back then or established guys were actually angry that I had succeeded with a dirty act because I was on television.

01:53:09.000 Like I remember one of them saying, I can't believe they gave him a job with fucking Disney.

01:53:14.000 Disney hired him.

01:53:15.000 Because Disney was where I got my first development deal.

01:53:18.000 And they're like, fucking Disney?

01:53:19.000 Have you ever seen his blowjob jokes?

01:53:20.000 Like Disney?

01:53:21.000 And I was like, sorry.

01:53:23.000 Well, that shit's on Disney now.

01:53:25.000 It's come full circle.

01:53:27.000 It's where kids are learning.

01:53:28.000 But back then it was...

01:53:30.000 Everybody wanted to be clean.

01:53:31.000 And so there was a lot of peer pressure.

01:53:33.000 So I tried.

01:53:34.000 I tried.

01:53:35.000 I tried to conform my act.

01:53:37.000 I tried to write material that was not me.

01:53:40.000 Can't do it.

01:53:40.000 I was a 21-year-old animal who was a kickboxer.

01:53:45.000 That's all I was doing.

01:53:46.000 My whole childhood from 15 to 21 was me traveling around the country trying to kick people unconscious.

01:53:54.000 And then all of a sudden I'm in this new environment where everybody's hypersensitive.

01:53:58.000 And everybody wants you to be clean.

01:54:00.000 And everybody wants you to do these jokes that, to me, were just like, I want to hear wild shit.

01:54:06.000 I like wild shit.

01:54:07.000 Like, I got into comedy because I saw Kinison.

01:54:09.000 Yeah.

01:54:10.000 I got into comedy because I saw, I want to do wild shit.

01:54:12.000 That's what I want to do.

01:54:13.000 You're a fucking animal on stage.

01:54:16.000 It's like watching a wild animal.

01:54:18.000 But it's just you, you're just letting your fucking self come out.

01:54:21.000 It's just who I am.

01:54:22.000 I mean, that's just me being like what I think is funny, like my kind of comedy.

01:54:26.000 You don't have to like it.

01:54:27.000 A lot of people don't.

01:54:28.000 That's okay.

01:54:29.000 That's what I like.

01:54:30.000 But that's like all music, man.

01:54:32.000 You know, like there's people that don't like the Black Keys.

01:54:36.000 I don't understand them because I love them.

01:54:39.000 So I listen to Black Keys.

01:54:41.000 I'm like, fuck yeah.

01:54:42.000 And some people are like, ugh.

01:54:44.000 Okay.

01:54:44.000 Just don't watch it.

01:54:46.000 But this is just life.

01:54:47.000 But when you're in an environment where people are telling you like it's an alt environment and all of your peers and all the people that are so desperately trying to succeed because you've achieved a level of comfort now so you can look back on it because it's not that long ago or you didn't know if it was going to work out.

01:55:04.000 And that moment when you're starting out, whether it's comedy or anything, martial arts, fucking everything I would imagine, When you're endeavoring, when you're entering into this crazy world of possibilities, this might not work.

01:55:19.000 What are the odds that it work?

01:55:21.000 How many comedians who do an open mic night ever become a professional headliner?

01:55:26.000 Goddammit, it's not even one out of a thousand probably.

01:55:29.000 It's a nutty number.

01:55:31.000 So if that was your child, Or a really good friend, you would say, oh my god, don't do this.

01:55:36.000 This is not going to work out for you.

01:55:39.000 You're going to be that 40-year-old loser staying on people's couches with no future.

01:55:43.000 Fuck, man, don't do this.

01:55:44.000 So when you're in that environment, like the alt scene when no one's really quite sure, and then there's a few people that have made it a little bit, and those are the ones that kind of set the standards and they behave that way.

01:55:54.000 And everybody else wants to be like them.

01:55:56.000 You just want it.

01:55:57.000 And they just want to be liked by everybody else.

01:55:58.000 Everybody conforms.

01:56:00.000 Everybody becomes like this same thing.

01:56:02.000 It's that group identity thing, which is really why things are crumbling right now.

01:56:07.000 You can't have it.

01:56:08.000 There is no community.

01:56:11.000 Any person that tells me I'm in a community, you're a child.

01:56:15.000 If your community is not your close friends and your family, and you say you're in a community, you're a child.

01:56:22.000 There isn't.

01:56:23.000 There's no comedy community.

01:56:25.000 There are a bunch of them.

01:56:26.000 They're little microcosms of groups of people.

01:56:30.000 Yeah.

01:56:30.000 But once you have said this is our group identity, like this is what white men are.

01:56:34.000 This is what black women are.

01:56:37.000 Well, one of the nice things about the club is that when we hired Adam Egott to take over and be the town quarter, one of the things that we were real clear because he was experiencing a lot of pressure in L.A. Like, he'd get pressure, like, why don't you have more women on the lineup?

01:56:51.000 Why don't you have more this in the lineup?

01:56:52.000 How come you don't have any gay people?

01:56:54.000 How come you don't have this?

01:56:55.000 I said, listen, man, this is going to be, this club is going to be 100% a meritocracy.

01:57:00.000 I do not give a fuck about any mandates.

01:57:03.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:57:04.000 All I care is if you're funny.

01:57:06.000 If you're a funny trans person, you're a funny gay person, you're a funny white guy, you're a funny black lady, who fucking cares?

01:57:12.000 Are you funny?

01:57:13.000 And if you're funny, you're in.

01:57:15.000 And because of that, look how fucking diverse the lineup is.

01:57:19.000 That's what happens.

01:57:20.000 Especially with the people coming up.

01:57:22.000 There's all kinds of different kinds of people from all kinds of different walks of life with...

01:57:27.000 Totally different styles on stage.

01:57:29.000 There's so many different styles and complete freedom.

01:57:32.000 Complete freedom to try and Adam is so smart that he'll have these conversations with these people and he'll be like, I see what you're trying to do.

01:57:41.000 You know, you just gotta like, gotta hone it in, figure it out.

01:57:45.000 Like, I see you're trying to say it like this, but maybe like there's a way to say it that like makes the same point, but it's not as clunky.

01:57:53.000 So valuable.

01:57:55.000 That doesn't happen in New York.

01:57:57.000 It's like you're out if you're not doing what we want.

01:58:00.000 And you don't know what they want because it changes.

01:58:03.000 Well, it's good for us.

01:58:04.000 It's good for us.

01:58:05.000 It's like helping recruiting tremendously.

01:58:08.000 When I met Adam, I was in shock.

01:58:10.000 I go...

01:58:12.000 This is so foreign to me, a booker who wants to work with you and will take a risk and invest in your talent.

01:58:21.000 And he was one of Norm Macdonald's best friends.

01:58:23.000 He did a show with Norm.

01:58:24.000 He's a guy who knows comedy inside and out.

01:58:26.000 I've known Adam for at least 20 years.

01:58:29.000 At least.

01:58:30.000 I knew Adam when he was working at the Tempe Improv.

01:58:33.000 Back when I would just do the road there.

01:58:36.000 And I became friends with him then.

01:58:37.000 And then he came to me when I was banned from the Comedy Store.

01:58:41.000 When did you get banned from the Comedy Store?

01:58:43.000 2007. I left the Comedy Store in 2007 over that Carlos Mencia thing.

01:58:48.000 And so I told him, I'm like, I'm never coming back.

01:58:51.000 I'm like, I'm gone.

01:58:52.000 You've never gone back?

01:58:53.000 No, I did.

01:58:53.000 I went back in 2014. But one of the reasons I went back is the guy that was running it was fired.

01:58:58.000 They caught him stealing money.

01:58:59.000 He got fired.

01:59:00.000 And then Adam Egot took over.

01:59:02.000 And when Adam took over, Adam came to visit me at the improv.

01:59:05.000 And I was performing at the improv.

01:59:06.000 And he was like, I'd really love to have you back at the store.

01:59:09.000 I'm like, dude, I don't know if I could fucking go back there, man.

01:59:12.000 I just, like, I said I was never going back.

01:59:15.000 The whole thing was so fucked up.

01:59:16.000 He's like, you know, but that guy's gone.

01:59:18.000 And it's different now.

01:59:19.000 And we're trying to bring the comedy store back.

01:59:22.000 And so the reason why I did go back, though, was because Ari Shaffir was filming a special there.

01:59:27.000 Mm-hmm.

01:59:28.000 And I had been friends with Ari when Ari was a doorman.

01:59:31.000 I met Ari when Ari was just starting out.

01:59:34.000 He was this young, fresh-faced doorman who just abandoned religion really recently.

01:59:38.000 And so he was like this young kid and he was funny.

01:59:41.000 And I became friends with him and then I started taking him on the road with me.

01:59:44.000 After a couple years of him seeing him perform, I gave him some spots outside of town.

01:59:49.000 I took him to Denver.

01:59:50.000 He killed.

01:59:50.000 I'm like, God damn.

01:59:51.000 And so I helped Ari.

01:59:53.000 I brought him in front of all these crowds.

01:59:55.000 I gave him the kind of advice that I would want someone to give to me.

02:00:00.000 Him performing at the Comedy Store, having a Comedy Central special, and doing it at the Comedy Store, to me was like, I have to be there.

02:00:09.000 I have to.

02:00:11.000 I have to see that.

02:00:12.000 I have to be there.

02:00:13.000 I have to support him.

02:00:15.000 I'm so proud of him.

02:00:16.000 I'm so happy.

02:00:18.000 I had to go there.

02:00:19.000 So I went there the day before.

02:00:21.000 And the day I went, I saw Roast Battle.

02:00:24.000 And I was like, this is amazing.

02:00:27.000 It was so vibrant and so alive.

02:00:30.000 And the place was packed.

02:00:32.000 We were upstairs, and I was one of the judges.

02:00:35.000 Like, you'd have a judge that gets to judge the roasts.

02:00:38.000 And we had so much fun.

02:00:39.000 And Jeff Ross was hosting it.

02:00:42.000 And it was just the whole thing.

02:00:44.000 The whole thing was just...

02:00:46.000 It was so...

02:00:50.000 It was so vibrant.

02:00:51.000 I was like, this is like a writing exercise.

02:00:55.000 This is like, I mean, it's a roast battle.

02:00:57.000 Roast battles are, you're picking on someone, yes.

02:01:00.000 But it's really just a writing exercise with one specific target.

02:01:06.000 That's all it is.

02:01:07.000 One topic you stay on.

02:01:08.000 And Brian Moses is an amazing host of that too.

02:01:11.000 He's so good because he's so likable.

02:01:13.000 He's so fun.

02:01:14.000 And he even makes people hug it out.

02:01:16.000 At the end, we're all going to hug.

02:01:19.000 It's nice.

02:01:20.000 He does a great job of keeping it peaceful and playful.

02:01:24.000 And then I remember being there for that and going, okay, I think I've got to come back.

02:01:31.000 And then the next day, Ari did a special.

02:01:34.000 It was amazing.

02:01:35.000 I couldn't believe it.

02:01:36.000 I was like, this is just so crazy to see him filming a special at the Comedy Store from knowing him from being a doorman.

02:01:43.000 Yeah.

02:01:43.000 You know, and here he is.

02:01:45.000 You see people get so good so fast.

02:01:47.000 Yeah.

02:01:48.000 Because I only know him as a killer.

02:01:50.000 I have no concept of Ari or, you know, any of those guys when they start.

02:01:55.000 Yeah, it's one of the cool things about getting to see someone from the very beginning.

02:01:59.000 You know, when I saw Tony Hinchcliffe, I think he had been doing comedy five or six years when I first met him.

02:02:06.000 Yeah, now look at him.

02:02:08.000 He's the best.

02:02:09.000 Tony is the best roaster on planet Earth.

02:02:11.000 There's no one better.

02:02:12.000 And he'll do it off the cuff.

02:02:14.000 He can do it off the cuff better than anybody alive.

02:02:16.000 Yeah, it's so good you think, oh, this is all pre-written.

02:02:19.000 Then you go, no, he just picked all this, you know, I watch him at the Mothership.

02:02:22.000 Dude, he does it in the green room all the time.

02:02:24.000 Him and David Lucas, I keep telling them this, goddammit, you motherfuckers, do a show together.

02:02:30.000 The two of them together are magic.

02:02:32.000 It brings out the absolute best in David Lucas, because David Lucas goes savage on Tony, and Tony goes savage on, and they're both laughing at each other's lines.

02:02:41.000 So, like, he'll clown Tony, and Tony will be dying laughing.

02:02:46.000 Like, no one gets angry, and he'll clown David, and David will be dying laughing.

02:02:51.000 Like, personal shit, like, about the way he looks, and, you know, dying of diabetes, and dying laughing.

02:02:58.000 Imagine that happening with like young Gen Z woke people like Experiencing something they should have to go to the mothership and sit and watch that and go look You can tear somebody down and and it's all fun.

02:03:11.000 It's just funsies and then one of the things about the mothership that's so important is kill Tony because what kill Tony shows everyone is that in one minute all you have the time for is to be funny and And everything funny is rewarded.

02:03:26.000 You could say outrageous things.

02:03:27.000 People say outrageous things on Kill Tony all the time.

02:03:30.000 But if you do well in that one minute, and they give you a big notebook, and they say, we're gonna bring you back, and then you get to get a chance to go back, or you get a golden ticket, you get to perform again, or then you become the newest regular.

02:03:43.000 And now guys have careers!

02:03:44.000 Cam Patterson has a fucking thriving career.

02:03:46.000 Hans Kim has a thriving career.

02:03:48.000 William Montgomery, thriving career.

02:03:50.000 David Lucas.

02:03:51.000 These guys are killing it on the road.

02:03:53.000 Fuck, I should have moved here five years ago.

02:03:55.000 No, no, no.

02:03:56.000 It's perfect time, dude.

02:03:57.000 You're doing great.

02:03:58.000 And then the new special that you just filmed there is coming out.

02:04:00.000 It is, yeah, yeah.

02:04:01.000 When are you going to put it out?

02:04:03.000 It'll be out probably tonight.

02:04:05.000 Oh, shit.

02:04:06.000 That's so fast.

02:04:07.000 And it's all election stuff.

02:04:09.000 And I'm not a big fan of themed comedy specials, but it was just like...

02:04:14.000 Why not?

02:04:15.000 I don't know.

02:04:16.000 Why not for now?

02:04:17.000 Well, that's why I changed course.

02:04:19.000 And I saw that Biden thing where he's sitting on the imaginary chair and I go, I gotta get this out now.

02:04:26.000 And the weekend was so fun, man.

02:04:29.000 That room is magical.

02:04:31.000 It's a great room.

02:04:32.000 I think that building's alive, dude.

02:04:34.000 It feels like it's been there for 20 years.

02:04:37.000 Yeah.

02:04:37.000 It felt like that right away.

02:04:39.000 The building felt like that right away.

02:04:42.000 That building's been there since 1927. And I have this thought about things that have been around a long time.

02:04:49.000 I think memories get baked into buildings.

02:04:51.000 I really do.

02:04:52.000 Sure.

02:04:52.000 When I go to the Comedy Store, every time I go to the Comedy Store, I have this feeling.

02:04:56.000 You walk in the hallway, you get this feeling like, wow, so much has happened here.

02:05:01.000 There's so many experiences baked into that, even when no one's in that building.

02:05:06.000 I used to, like, when we were leaving late at night, you know, we'd be hanging out in the back bar in Mitzi's bar, and we'd be drinking and talking, and everybody's like, all right, time to go home.

02:05:16.000 And we'd go out in the hallway, and you could just feel the building.

02:05:21.000 The building, that building's alive.

02:05:23.000 It wouldn't have been the same if you just built a new construction.

02:05:26.000 It wouldn't have, it would have had that kind of fresh kind of...

02:05:30.000 We would have made it alive.

02:05:31.000 We would have eventually...

02:05:33.000 It would have taken a little time.

02:05:34.000 We brought the right spirit.

02:05:36.000 We brought the spirit of the Comedy Store to the mothership.

02:05:39.000 You know, we knew what we needed.

02:05:41.000 We knew what we needed because we already had it.

02:05:42.000 We had it in LA. We had that...

02:05:45.000 We had a home base.

02:05:46.000 And that's what we needed here.

02:05:48.000 Like, when we first moved here, I was like, God, we don't have a home base.

02:05:51.000 We had the Vulcan, which was great.

02:05:52.000 But it wasn't set up the way I would set it up.

02:05:55.000 It wasn't ideal...

02:05:57.000 There was a lot of problems with the dynamics.

02:06:00.000 And I was like, it's not quite big enough.

02:06:03.000 This isn't ideal.

02:06:05.000 So we started looking for other places.

02:06:07.000 And then when we found the mothership, when I walked into the Ritz Theater and looked around, it was like the place was talking to me.

02:06:16.000 Was it just one?

02:06:18.000 What was it?

02:06:19.000 What did it look like when you walked in?

02:06:21.000 Well, it's been a bunch of things.

02:06:22.000 Since 1927, it was a pool hall.

02:06:24.000 It was a punk rock club.

02:06:26.000 I guess it was a nudie movie theater at one point in time.

02:06:30.000 I can still feel the vibe of that.

02:06:31.000 There's a sexual energy in there.

02:06:33.000 Weird energy in that place.

02:06:34.000 And then from, I think, 2007 on, it was the Alamo Drafthouse.

02:06:41.000 So that's what it used to look like.

02:06:42.000 Oh my god.

02:06:43.000 Yeah.

02:06:43.000 So it used to be like that.

02:06:45.000 Is that the whole thing though?

02:06:47.000 Or is that just what the fat man is now?

02:06:49.000 That's the fat man.

02:06:50.000 So the little boy was always there too.

02:06:52.000 That was a smaller theater.

02:06:53.000 So the Alamo Draft House had two theaters.

02:06:56.000 One theater that sat like 120 people and one theater that sat like whatever the seats.

02:07:00.000 We have it set up for 250 people now.

02:07:04.000 So you see how it angles up like that?

02:07:06.000 Yeah.

02:07:06.000 So what we did was we, right where Jamie's cursor is, we cut the floor.

02:07:11.000 Oh shit.

02:07:12.000 And so we lifted from all the way back to like the second row, we lifted the floor up to that height so it's flat.

02:07:23.000 And then, so it doesn't angle downward.

02:07:26.000 So that's the little room, right?

02:07:28.000 So we lifted the floor up to make it closer to the ceiling, and then we changed the dynamics of the stage.

02:07:34.000 So instead of being like this steep angle, like a movie theater, where everybody has a nice shot at the screen, it's flat like a comedy club, and then we lowered the ceiling.

02:07:43.000 So you could see where the balcony is.

02:07:46.000 The ceiling's lower even than the balcony.

02:07:48.000 Because that was Louie's idea.

02:07:50.000 To lower it.

02:07:50.000 Louie's idea was like, can you lower the ceiling even more?

02:07:53.000 And I'm like, I think we can.

02:07:54.000 That's New York.

02:07:55.000 New York, everything's just so fucking low.

02:07:58.000 Yeah, it is, but it's also Louie, because he's not just a comic, he's also a producer.

02:08:04.000 Like, he's done a lot of films, and he understands, like, sets, and he deeply understands, like, recording and dynamics.

02:08:10.000 He's like, he goes, cover everything with cloth.

02:08:13.000 Like, muffle all the back.

02:08:16.000 Is that the old?

02:08:17.000 What was this one?

02:08:18.000 I don't know.

02:08:19.000 Wow.

02:08:20.000 They're definitely watching something on the screen.

02:08:21.000 So they had one solid balcony back then.

02:08:24.000 Interesting.

02:08:25.000 Instead of two balconies.

02:08:28.000 That's the fat man too?

02:08:29.000 Yeah.

02:08:30.000 Crazy.

02:08:31.000 Look at all them back then.

02:08:32.000 Look at them.

02:08:33.000 I found a picture of Henry Rollins there.

02:08:36.000 What?

02:08:37.000 Yeah.

02:08:38.000 Henry Rollins was on stage there in 1983. Look at that.

02:08:43.000 What year is that from?

02:08:44.000 I don't know.

02:08:45.000 That's crazy.

02:08:46.000 Over there watching a talkie there, a colored film.

02:08:48.000 That's what it looked like back then, dude.

02:08:50.000 Isn't that nuts?

02:08:53.000 Yeah, so it's been there for so long.

02:08:57.000 And it was the Queen, it used to be called.

02:09:01.000 Wow.

02:09:02.000 Is that a river in front of it?

02:09:03.000 What is that?

02:09:03.000 That's the dirt.

02:09:04.000 Oh!

02:09:05.000 That's the ground, man.

02:09:07.000 That's probably before it was paved.

02:09:09.000 Before they had pavement.

02:09:10.000 Yeah, they probably didn't pave it yet.

02:09:13.000 And so when we got there...

02:09:16.000 Oh, here's another funny story.

02:09:17.000 When we got there, we had to tear some of the stuff off the walls, and a swastika was painted on the brick.

02:09:23.000 Whoopsie-daisy.

02:09:23.000 Yeah, because it used to be a punk rock club.

02:09:26.000 I guess someone painted a swastika on the wall.

02:09:28.000 Jesus.

02:09:29.000 There's a punk show there.

02:09:30.000 Yeah, there's a punk show.

02:09:31.000 Did I show you that photo of Henry Rollins?

02:09:33.000 Did I send that to you?

02:09:34.000 I think I did.

02:09:36.000 So...

02:09:38.000 We're doing all the construction and I figured someone would fucking remove the swastika.

02:09:44.000 But it was like months before we opened.

02:09:45.000 I go, hey, why is the fucking swastika still here?

02:09:49.000 And so they go, oh, we'll take it.

02:09:51.000 We'll remove it.

02:09:51.000 So they removed the paint, which made a clear white swastika.

02:09:56.000 I go, hey, retards, get rid of the design.

02:10:01.000 Don't accept, because now it's even more obvious.

02:10:03.000 Because now where all the fucking swastika was, was sandblasted off in the exact same design.

02:10:11.000 Well, it's cleaner.

02:10:12.000 We think it's cleaner.

02:10:12.000 You know, but that's what happens when you hire laborers who don't really necessarily know what that fucking thing means.

02:10:17.000 They could have sent it to Columbia University.

02:10:19.000 Is that Henry Rollins on stage there?

02:10:20.000 Yeah, Black Flag 1982 Ritz Theater.

02:10:22.000 Yeah.

02:10:23.000 Holy shit.

02:10:24.000 I sent you one.

02:10:25.000 Did I show you the one?

02:10:27.000 I'll send it to you right now.

02:10:28.000 I got a better photo of it.

02:10:30.000 The better photo was pretty fucking crazy.

02:10:35.000 Hold on a second.

02:10:36.000 I'll get it here.

02:10:39.000 I know I got it in this little pile.

02:10:41.000 That's 1980, black and white?

02:10:43.000 1982. Well, you probably hired someone to do it in black and white.

02:10:48.000 It's funny that things really do feel old-timey in black and white.

02:10:51.000 I can't find it.

02:10:54.000 I give up.

02:10:55.000 But anyway, point is, we have photos in the downstairs before you go on stage.

02:11:01.000 There's those photos of Steve Ray Vaughn.

02:11:02.000 That's him on stage in that club in 83. Damn.

02:11:06.000 Yeah.

02:11:07.000 So there's like this crazy history that's baked into that place.

02:11:10.000 And just think about the history in the last year you've been open.

02:11:13.000 I know.

02:11:14.000 How much has happened in that room?

02:11:15.000 Well, how much has happened in the Austin comedy scene?

02:11:18.000 The fucking scene has exploded.

02:11:19.000 Yeah.

02:11:21.000 It's pretty wild.

02:11:22.000 It was an empty void that was needed.

02:11:25.000 Because you go on the coasts, and there's great clubs, but that group identity shit, this race can say this and that, every night you gotta sift through that bullshit.

02:11:35.000 There's also a history of wild comedy here.

02:11:39.000 Because this is where Bill Hicks started, this is where Kinison started.

02:11:42.000 They both started in Texas.

02:11:44.000 And when I had heard about Texas, like Janine Garofalo was out here at one point in Houston.

02:11:48.000 There was a bunch of comics that were out here in Houston.

02:11:51.000 And I was like, what is going on in Houston?

02:11:54.000 I remember hearing about that when I lived in Boston.

02:11:57.000 Because I lived in Boston.

02:11:59.000 Comedy store was mecca.

02:12:00.000 That was the place you had to get to.

02:12:01.000 I remember everyone was like, you've got to get to the comedy store.

02:12:03.000 That's where Richard Pryor started.

02:12:05.000 That's where Sam Kinison started.

02:12:06.000 Dice Clay was there.

02:12:07.000 All these comedians were at the comedy store.

02:12:09.000 You had to get to the comedy store.

02:12:11.000 It was the place.

02:12:12.000 Then I kept hearing about Houston.

02:12:15.000 And then when I saw Kinnison and Hicks, people were like, you know they came from Houston.

02:12:20.000 I was like, what?

02:12:22.000 Kinnison came from Houston?

02:12:23.000 Like from Texas?

02:12:25.000 Texas made comedians?

02:12:26.000 Where was it performing though?

02:12:27.000 What was available?

02:12:29.000 The Laugh Stop.

02:12:29.000 The Laugh Stop and River Oaks was a fucking amazing club.

02:12:33.000 I don't think it's there anymore.

02:12:35.000 I don't think the club's not there anymore because the club moved to a new location, and I think that club went under.

02:12:39.000 But the original place where the Laugh Stop was was a great club.

02:12:44.000 Low ceiling, perfect little stage, and then there was also a little side area where they had an open mic that would go until like 2 o'clock in the morning.

02:12:54.000 Vibrant scene.

02:12:56.000 Like, really vibrant scene, and everybody loved to come through Houston and work that club.

02:13:00.000 And when you work that club, you know, you do, like, whatever, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, whatever days you do, you would go there and you'd see the open mics, packed, and the local comics were really good.

02:13:11.000 They were good, man.

02:13:12.000 Local comics were fucking good.

02:13:14.000 Like, you know, you'd get to see these guys like Jimmy Pineapple, these guys, like, you probably never even heard of them.

02:13:20.000 Solid fucking comedians.

02:13:22.000 You know, and Sean Rouse was there at the time, and Ralphie Mae.

02:13:25.000 There was a lot of comics coming out of that area that I was like, this is nuts, man.

02:13:29.000 I did not know that like Houston, like Texas, mostly Houston, had this scene.

02:13:35.000 And Austin had a bit of a scene, but you know, a little bit smaller.

02:13:39.000 But nothing was like what it is now.

02:13:40.000 You should have something in the middle of the country.

02:13:43.000 You can't just have...

02:13:45.000 Comedy on the liberal coasts.

02:13:47.000 You need something in the middle of the country.

02:13:49.000 I think that has something to do with it.

02:13:50.000 It helps for sanity, for sure.

02:13:52.000 But it also helps that it's run by comics.

02:13:54.000 Like, that club's run by us.

02:13:56.000 It's our club.

02:13:58.000 There's no one else.

02:13:59.000 There's no management.

02:14:01.000 There's no overseer.

02:14:04.000 There's no executives that are making decisions based on money.

02:14:08.000 Everything's based on comedy.

02:14:11.000 Yeah, I know some places, if they get a couple complaints about a joke, they want you to...

02:14:17.000 I'm not going to mention where, but I kind of got a little talking to.

02:14:21.000 We got some complaints about this one joke, and I'm thinking, who gives a fuck?

02:14:26.000 The joke kills every time.

02:14:29.000 Yeah, they don't get it.

02:14:29.000 They're working against themselves.

02:14:31.000 Yeah.

02:14:32.000 They don't even understand what they're doing.

02:14:33.000 They're literally poisoning their own business with this stupidity.

02:14:37.000 You just gotta like let people know you can be free and you'll have more audience members and you will get rid of these people that are looking to be offended constantly because it won't be effective.

02:14:47.000 All that shit only works if people comply.

02:14:50.000 If people don't comply and then other people go, this is just comedy.

02:14:53.000 Just like when you go to see Quentin Tarantino movies, nobody's really getting killed.

02:14:56.000 You know?

02:14:57.000 Bob Marley never really shot the sheriff.

02:15:00.000 I don't know if you know that.

02:15:01.000 That was not real.

02:15:02.000 Come on.

02:15:03.000 I know.

02:15:03.000 Come on.

02:15:04.000 Crazy.

02:15:04.000 It's comedy.

02:15:05.000 And the problem is these fucking idiots that are running these clubs are giving in to the very thing that's going to kill their business.

02:15:12.000 This has given me, like, a second birth, really.

02:15:14.000 Because I hit this wall where I kind of, you know, I've developed this act, and then you need to experiment.

02:15:21.000 Yeah.

02:15:21.000 And once I started getting challenged, when I would try to, like, veer off and experiment a little, and I'm never going to bomb.

02:15:27.000 I will end strong.

02:15:28.000 I'm there to entertain the crowd.

02:15:30.000 That's my thing.

02:15:31.000 I'm willing to do crazy shit and experiment, but everybody's paying, and they're there, and, you know, I'm going to end strong.

02:15:37.000 And so, yeah, that was enough to get my ass to Texas.

02:15:41.000 I don't I never thought I'd live in Texas.

02:15:43.000 You can be free here.

02:15:44.000 You can be free here.

02:15:45.000 And you can be free where we are.

02:15:47.000 We've set it up that way.

02:15:48.000 We want it to be...

02:15:49.000 It's like an actual safe space, you know?

02:15:51.000 For real.

02:15:51.000 Yeah, but safe for everybody, man.

02:15:53.000 I mean, you can be whatever the fuck you want as long as what you're saying is funny.

02:15:58.000 It's all it is.

02:15:59.000 There's no room for any horseshit, no ideology, no nonsense.

02:16:02.000 It's just, you could have an ideology, but it's just gotta be funny.

02:16:06.000 That is palpable there, or maybe the opposite of that.

02:16:10.000 There's no, like, the meritocracy that you set up, you can feel that.

02:16:16.000 You go in there, and it's, you're funny or not.

02:16:18.000 Yeah, and you're supported, too.

02:16:20.000 It's very supportive.

02:16:21.000 There's none of this identity politics stuff, which is just...

02:16:24.000 Killing the business, man.

02:16:25.000 Destroying the scene everywhere else.

02:16:27.000 Well, it's just bad for a business that's about taking risks and saying outrageous things and pushing the envelope.

02:16:34.000 And that's all the greats.

02:16:37.000 Imagine setting up What a comedy club essentially is in this world, in the world of stand-up comedy, a comedy club is a place where you can hone your craft and perform.

02:16:49.000 So you go to clubs, you learn how to do it, then you go to clubs and you make a living doing it, and then eventually, if you get big enough, then you start branching out into theaters and arenas.

02:16:58.000 So it's literally the gym.

02:17:02.000 It's literally the dojo.

02:17:04.000 It's the place where you learn.

02:17:06.000 Imagine having a place where you learn where you can't take chances.

02:17:09.000 In a business that's wrapped around taking chances where all the greats, whether it's Don Rickles, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, all of them said wild shit.

02:17:22.000 All of them.

02:17:23.000 And the only way you develop wild shit is by performing it on stage in front of people with freedom.

02:17:29.000 Well, you get a chance.

02:17:30.000 I just watched the George Carlin documentary.

02:17:33.000 Did you see that?

02:17:33.000 I don't know if it's on HBO or whatever.

02:17:35.000 It's so good.

02:17:37.000 And I'm almost like, man, he almost had more freedom than we...

02:17:40.000 He's talking about seven words you can't say.

02:17:42.000 Shit, piss, fuck, concoct, sucker, motherfucker, and tits.

02:17:45.000 Now it's like the seven million topics you can't talk about.

02:17:49.000 Race, gender, gender...

02:17:50.000 But you can.

02:17:51.000 You can.

02:17:52.000 You just have to do it.

02:17:53.000 You can.

02:17:53.000 And if you have a club that has that established, like the mothership, anybody can do it.

02:17:58.000 You don't have to have a It's a big audience.

02:17:59.000 They'll let you do it.

02:18:00.000 Anyone will let you do it.

02:18:01.000 And no one's gonna complain.

02:18:02.000 And then, they will come see you again.

02:18:05.000 Sure.

02:18:05.000 And then, the people coming to see you know what you do and there's no worries.

02:18:09.000 That's how comedy should be done.

02:18:12.000 That's the right way to develop both offensive and non-offensive acts.

02:18:17.000 Sure.

02:18:17.000 You know, some of my favorite acts are not...

02:18:19.000 Nate Bargatze is hilarious.

02:18:21.000 Completely non-offensive.

02:18:23.000 Hilarious!

02:18:23.000 But that's Nate's act.

02:18:25.000 Brian Regan, Sebastian.

02:18:27.000 Yeah, same thing.

02:18:28.000 Great comedians.

02:18:29.000 But that's their thing.

02:18:31.000 And that's great.

02:18:32.000 There's no right way to do it.

02:18:34.000 Do you ever want to see a clean person just go, I want to see them do an hour of the filthiest fucking shit.

02:18:40.000 It would be funny.

02:18:41.000 Sebastian, you know, you're going to get your take on this, John?

02:18:44.000 Yeah.

02:18:44.000 I take a girl home the other day, she goes...

02:18:47.000 Can I give you a rim job?

02:18:50.000 She starts pecking at me like a baby bird.

02:18:53.000 I go, I don't want my girlfriend to have the same lingo as my mechanic.

02:18:57.000 What, are you going to start tweaking my nipples?

02:18:59.000 I just want to see him fucking get Seinfeld talking about fucking trans stuff and all that.

02:19:06.000 Well, even Seinfeld's pushing back on all this woke shit.

02:19:09.000 Well, he's getting protested.

02:19:10.000 Have you seen the protests?

02:19:11.000 Every show now.

02:19:12.000 It's Palestine protests.

02:19:14.000 It is, but it's still kind of linked up with like, we're going to shut down comedy for our cause.

02:19:20.000 So he's getting caught up in that stuff.

02:19:23.000 Well, you got a lot of really dumb young people that are very entitled and think they can shut things down because they have a cause.

02:19:29.000 You think they would learn, but they're not going to, and they're going to keep doing it, and there's more attention they get every time they do it.

02:19:36.000 See the Stop Oil Now people?

02:19:39.000 They vandalize Stonehenge.

02:19:43.000 What the fuck does Stonehenge have to do with oil?

02:19:45.000 It's an amazing monument that's thousands of years old and you just spray paint all over it because you want people to stop using oil.

02:19:53.000 It's a mental illness.

02:19:53.000 And you're wearing clothes made out of oil.

02:19:55.000 You fucking idiot.

02:19:57.000 Everything you own was shipped on a truck that was used oil.

02:20:01.000 Every fucking thing you eat, every fucking thing in your house, everything your house is made out of, the electronics on your phone, the wires in your wall, everything uses plastic, you fucking idiot.

02:20:14.000 Everything uses oil.

02:20:15.000 You're not stopping shit.

02:20:17.000 I know.

02:20:18.000 Yeah, a little tomato soup on the Van Gogh.

02:20:21.000 It's always rich kids, too.

02:20:23.000 It's entitled kids.

02:20:24.000 It's posh kids that think that this is the thing that they should be doing with their life because they don't have any purpose.

02:20:29.000 They're taught that from now.

02:20:31.000 I mean, for me, it started popping up in college a little bit.

02:20:34.000 These kids, like, age three.

02:20:37.000 Anti-racist baby.

02:20:38.000 That's a real book.

02:20:39.000 Oh, yeah.

02:20:40.000 Yeah.

02:20:41.000 Yeah, my kid, when we were in school, right after the George Floyd thing, they sent an email saying to young kids, like some of them as young as like six and seven went there, saying that it's not enough that you not be racist.

02:20:57.000 You have to be anti-racist.

02:20:59.000 They're telling this to kids who don't have any concept of race.

02:21:02.000 They have black friends, Indian friends, Asian friends.

02:21:05.000 These are friends.

02:21:05.000 Who's nice to me?

02:21:06.000 Who likes playing the toys that I play with?

02:21:09.000 Who likes playing the games that I play?

02:21:10.000 Let's let's hang out.

02:21:12.000 You know, they don't care and you're making them focus on this for no fucking reason.

02:21:18.000 It's gonna fuck them up.

02:21:19.000 Yeah, so they fired the person at the school and it became like a big lawsuit, but they realized they were getting grifted on and But Jesus fucking Christ, you idiots.

02:21:28.000 Like, how did you not see through?

02:21:29.000 And the parents were freaking out.

02:21:30.000 Like, what the fuck are you teaching them?

02:21:32.000 Like, why are you doing this?

02:21:33.000 Like, why are you introducing all these ideas?

02:21:35.000 Is there a problem?

02:21:36.000 If there's a problem, let's talk about the problem.

02:21:38.000 There's no fucking problem.

02:21:39.000 This is not an issue at all.

02:21:41.000 And you're making it an issue to make yourself important.

02:21:44.000 And that's the problem with these positions.

02:21:46.000 When people have these positions of equity and inclusiveness.

02:21:49.000 These people, they have these positions in universities.

02:21:52.000 They have these positions in corporations.

02:21:54.000 It's like...

02:21:55.000 God damn!

02:21:57.000 The whole equity thing, that happened overnight.

02:21:59.000 The word equality was switched with equity, the equal outcome, and that's the only way to do it, is to force it.

02:22:08.000 We have to force it.

02:22:09.000 We have to have this person and this person and this race, but all the identities are becoming infinite now.

02:22:15.000 Yeah.

02:22:15.000 So it's like, okay, Kamala Harris.

02:22:18.000 I mean, they had to discriminate against every other type of person because they said we're having a black woman.

02:22:23.000 So they had to discriminate against black men and Asian women and everybody.

02:22:28.000 Yeah, well, it's definitely not a meritocracy if you got her.

02:22:32.000 No.

02:22:33.000 No.

02:22:33.000 None of it makes any sense.

02:22:35.000 The whole thing's bonkers, Matt.

02:22:36.000 It's a fascinating, fascinating time to be alive.

02:22:39.000 But it's good for comedy.

02:22:40.000 Good for comedy.

02:22:41.000 I'm actually playing a DEI officer, a Jedi, he's called, justice, equity, inclusion officer, and Adam Carolla has a new cartoon out, Mr. Burcham.

02:22:53.000 Which he pitched that like 10, 15 years ago to Fox and they said no.

02:22:59.000 And Daily Wire, who's just like scooping stuff up, they produced it.

02:23:03.000 I think a lot of that was a response to what we were talking about once.

02:23:06.000 We were saying you can't make a good comedy movie right now because no one will go off.

02:23:10.000 Jeremy saw that and was like, dude, they wrote that thing in like two weeks.

02:23:14.000 They flew me out to punch it up.

02:23:16.000 We filmed it in like three weeks and it was out.

02:23:18.000 That's wild.

02:23:19.000 But this is Mr. Bertram.

02:23:20.000 Kyle's in it.

02:23:22.000 Megyn Kelly's in it.

02:23:23.000 Megyn Kelly.

02:23:24.000 It's got a cast, man.

02:23:25.000 Nice.

02:23:26.000 It's got Jay Moore.

02:23:28.000 Nice.

02:23:29.000 That's my little diversity officer guy.

02:23:33.000 Alonzo?

02:23:34.000 Yeah.

02:23:35.000 I love Alonzo.

02:23:37.000 Nice.

02:23:38.000 Yeah, it's like a family guy.

02:23:44.000 It's a fun time to push back.

02:23:45.000 Yeah.

02:23:46.000 It's a fun time to push back.

02:23:48.000 Things have gone a little bit haywire, but we're gonna be alright.

02:23:51.000 For a comedian?

02:23:52.000 Oh my god.

02:23:53.000 I just wake up and I just look at the headlines.

02:23:56.000 And one thing that comedy does do is it highlights how ridiculous these things are and it takes some of the weight off of them.

02:24:02.000 Yeah.

02:24:02.000 It's the only way.

02:24:03.000 Look at the word woke.

02:24:05.000 Woke used to be a cool thing, and because of comedy...

02:24:08.000 It's foolish.

02:24:09.000 It's now a clown world word.

02:24:11.000 Yeah, it's a clown world word that you can't use on the other side.

02:24:15.000 You can't say, I'm woke.

02:24:17.000 Because everyone's like, bah, you fucking idiot.

02:24:19.000 You fucking loser.

02:24:20.000 Yeah, you fucking idiot.

02:24:21.000 So it becomes a pejorative.

02:24:23.000 It becomes something that someone points to.

02:24:25.000 It says, oh, you're infected with the woke mind virus.

02:24:27.000 Like, no.

02:24:28.000 Yeah.

02:24:29.000 No one who is woke claims woke.

02:24:32.000 No.

02:24:33.000 You can't do it.

02:24:33.000 They used to.

02:24:34.000 That's from comedy.

02:24:36.000 That is from it.

02:24:37.000 It's from memes.

02:24:38.000 It's from the internet.

02:24:39.000 Yeah.

02:24:39.000 That's what it is, man.

02:24:40.000 Incredible.

02:24:41.000 Well, listen, dude, I'm happy you're here.

02:24:43.000 Hey, thank you, brother.

02:24:44.000 You're a very, very funny guy.

02:24:45.000 It's been really fun watching you perform at the club.

02:24:47.000 I appreciate it, man.

02:24:47.000 You're killing it.

02:24:47.000 Your special's gonna fucking destroy.

02:24:50.000 I saw some clips.

02:24:51.000 It's really funny.

02:24:52.000 Thank you for building this thing that is so needed.

02:24:55.000 My pleasure.

02:24:56.000 Thanks for joining the team.

02:24:57.000 People flying out from around the world now are showing up.

02:25:00.000 Yeah.

02:25:00.000 Yeah, it's fun.

02:25:01.000 We're having a good time.

02:25:02.000 Awesome.

02:25:02.000 And we're going to keep rolling, man.

02:25:03.000 We've got more plans.

02:25:04.000 I can't wait.

02:25:05.000 I'm two weeks in here.

02:25:06.000 Yeah, we're going to expand.

02:25:07.000 Get me buff, please.

02:25:09.000 Let's do it.

02:25:10.000 Let's do it.

02:25:10.000 All right.

02:25:11.000 Tell everybody your Instagram before they take it down again.

02:25:14.000 Yeah, tythefish, T-Y-the-fish, F-I-S-C-H. And I'm on tour right now all over the country.

02:25:19.000 What's the website?

02:25:20.000 TylerFisher.com.

02:25:22.000 And yeah, special's out now.

02:25:23.000 It's called the Election Special.

02:25:24.000 And I have a pandemic special, too, that I filmed when I was canceled.

02:25:28.000 Kind of illegally, I filmed in a comedy club that I wasn't allowed in.

02:25:31.000 Nice.

02:25:32.000 Nice.

02:25:32.000 All right, dude.

02:25:33.000 Thank you, brother.

02:25:34.000 Thank you.

02:25:34.000 My pleasure, brother.

02:25:35.000 Welcome aboard.

02:25:36.000 Good to be here.

02:25:37.000 Thank you.

02:25:38.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - June 25, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2168 - Tyler Fischer

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