The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2178 - Sam Morril

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!

00:00:11.000 Cheers, sir.

00:00:12.000 Cheers, I'm gonna try to take this seriously.

00:00:16.000 Awesome to be at the club last night.

00:00:17.000 Yeah, it was fun having you.

00:00:19.000 Last night was fun.

00:00:20.000 It was a good night.

00:00:20.000 Really fun.

00:00:21.000 Yeah, it's a fun place, man.

00:00:23.000 Yeah.

00:00:23.000 A little Disneyland.

00:00:24.000 Yeah.

00:00:25.000 It also is like a throwback.

00:00:26.000 I'm like, I left Kill Tony on Monday.

00:00:28.000 I was like, I haven't had my shirt smell like cigarettes in a while.

00:00:30.000 Yeah, all those guys in the green room were smoking cigarettes.

00:00:33.000 I had one.

00:00:33.000 I don't smoke.

00:00:34.000 It's so pretty contagious.

00:00:36.000 I was like, I have one. 0.89

00:00:37.000 What the hell? 0.99

00:00:38.000 Yeah, that's a what the hell room. 0.97

00:00:41.000 Yeah.

00:00:41.000 I mean, it's one of those things like you create something with this intention and you kind of hope that it'll work out good, but that place almost sort of made itself.

00:00:53.000 Into what it is.

00:00:54.000 It's got an energy to it.

00:00:56.000 I think it's also because of that building.

00:00:58.000 That building was made in 1927. And everybody's performed there.

00:01:02.000 Willie Nelson performed there.

00:01:04.000 Stevie Ray Vaughan.

00:01:05.000 You look in the wall.

00:01:06.000 Black Flag.

00:01:07.000 All the walls inside the green room.

00:01:09.000 All those posters.

00:01:10.000 Those are all bands. 0.94

00:01:10.000 Misfits. 0.94

00:01:11.000 All bands that performed there.

00:01:12.000 Wow.

00:01:13.000 Because it was a rock club for a long time.

00:01:15.000 The whole thing?

00:01:17.000 But it's a big venue, though.

00:01:19.000 I don't know if it was two different rooms.

00:01:21.000 I think at one point in time it was just one room.

00:01:24.000 And then I think with the Alamo Draft House, they turned it into two rooms.

00:01:27.000 Then it was a movie theater for like 10 years.

00:01:30.000 And then when they went under, we had the two rooms.

00:01:34.000 Then we just adjusted everything and changed a lot of stuff and turned it into a comedy club. 0.99

00:01:37.000 Yeah, it's cool as fuck. 0.96

00:01:39.000 But that building's alive, man. 1.00

00:01:41.000 You walk in the building and you're like, this fucking building's alive. 0.98

00:01:45.000 It feels like everyone's a comedy fan too. 0.98

00:01:47.000 And you walk in, it's pretty cool.

00:01:49.000 Yeah, you build it, they will come.

00:01:50.000 It's like the Field of Dreams.

00:01:51.000 Yeah, not for everybody.

00:01:53.000 For you it is, but not for everybody.

00:01:56.000 What do you mean?

00:01:56.000 Well, I mean, a lot of people are building comedy clubs.

00:01:58.000 They don't come.

00:01:59.000 Yeah, but they don't do it that way.

00:02:01.000 You did it right.

00:02:02.000 But we did it, I swear to God. 1.00

00:02:04.000 I mean, it sounds stupid. 0.99

00:02:05.000 I don't believe in fate necessarily. 0.99

00:02:07.000 I don't not believe in fate, but I'm not like one of those people that's like preaching it.

00:02:11.000 If I wanted to believe in fate though, I would believe in fate because of this.

00:02:15.000 Because it's like, you ever drive and you just hit every green light for whatever reason?

00:02:21.000 I can't drive.

00:02:22.000 You don't drive? 1.00

00:02:23.000 I have a license, but I'm dogshit. 0.98

00:02:26.000 It hurt me as a young comic because Joe List would always shit on me because we did a road gig, I want to say almost 15 years ago together, where I got us the gig, it was co-headlining, But it was a casino run and the thing was like, you have to split the driving. 0.98

00:02:40.000 It was like 30 hours of driving total.

00:02:42.000 So he's like, can you split the driving with me?

00:02:43.000 I said, of course. 0.93

00:02:44.000 And we got, I already fucked up because we flew into the wrong city on the wrong day because of me. 1.00

00:02:48.000 I was such a fucking young idiot. 1.00

00:02:50.000 So we flew into like Michigan. 1.00

00:02:52.000 It was supposed to start in Wisconsin.

00:02:53.000 And he was like, we're prorated. 1.00

00:02:55.000 I was like, I fucked us. 1.00

00:02:56.000 We're prorated. 1.00

00:02:57.000 And then he was already mad at me.

00:02:58.000 And then he's like, all right, it's your turn to drive.

00:03:00.000 And I started driving. 0.99

00:03:01.000 He was like, what the fuck is happening? 1.00

00:03:03.000 This is horrible. 0.99

00:03:04.000 And he always quotes me as saying, like, no, I'm not a bad driver.

00:03:08.000 I just can't turn well. 1.00

00:03:09.000 And he was like, yeah, that's a bad driver, you fucking idiot. 1.00

00:03:12.000 So he tells this story about me all the time being like a city. 1.00

00:03:15.000 He calls me a city hick.

00:03:16.000 That's like he started calling me that.

00:03:17.000 But yeah, I can't really.

00:03:18.000 I have a license. 1.00

00:03:19.000 I passed the test, but I'm dog shit. 1.00

00:03:22.000 It's not that hard, though. 1.00

00:03:23.000 I know I'm that bad.

00:03:25.000 I don't know why I'm that bad at it.

00:03:26.000 That's so weird.

00:03:27.000 You're so smart.

00:03:28.000 I would imagine you're smart to talk to.

00:03:31.000 Oh, thank you.

00:03:32.000 I'm a bad driver.

00:03:33.000 You're good socially.

00:03:34.000 Thank you, man.

00:03:35.000 You're easy to talk to. 0.96

00:03:37.000 So I would imagine you'd fucking be able to negotiate the distances between vehicles. 0.98

00:03:41.000 Turn the wheel? 1.00

00:03:42.000 I bullshit my way through a license. 0.97

00:03:44.000 I failed two tests in New York. 0.95

00:03:45.000 They were in the Bronx.

00:03:46.000 And then I got a driver who I made her laugh out of the gate. 1.00

00:03:49.000 And I was like, I'm in. 0.96

00:03:51.000 I just said, I suck at this. 0.91

00:03:53.000 I failed too. 0.69

00:03:53.000 Please don't fail me. 0.69

00:03:54.000 And she laughed.

00:03:55.000 And I was like, I'm in.

00:03:56.000 And I hit something.

00:03:57.000 And she passed me.

00:03:58.000 Would you hit?

00:03:58.000 Wow.

00:03:59.000 I don't remember.

00:04:00.000 It was a cone or something.

00:04:02.000 Oh, okay.

00:04:03.000 Something minor.

00:04:03.000 It was minor.

00:04:04.000 It was a kid.

00:04:04.000 Yeah.

00:04:05.000 It was nothing.

00:04:06.000 Not a big deal.

00:04:06.000 A drunk.

00:04:08.000 I hit a kid.

00:04:08.000 But she was like, you got me to laugh.

00:04:10.000 Man, I can't imagine not being able to drive.

00:04:12.000 Because it's just like, driving is freedom.

00:04:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:15.000 If you can't drive and there's a car there, like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:04:18.000 It's also freedom to have someone else drive you, though. 0.96

00:04:21.000 If that still happens.

00:04:23.000 That's true.

00:04:24.000 If everything goes sideways and there's no more Uber and no more Lyft.

00:04:28.000 Yeah.

00:04:28.000 And you have to figure out how to work a stick shift.

00:04:30.000 I'm in trouble.

00:04:31.000 Yeah, you're in real trouble.

00:04:32.000 Yeah, if there's a civil war, it's going to be hard to hail a cab.

00:04:36.000 Yeah.

00:04:36.000 If there's a civil war, where are you going to go?

00:04:39.000 I think I'm gonna cave pretty early.

00:04:41.000 Are you?

00:04:41.000 No, I don't know.

00:04:42.000 I don't know what I'll do.

00:04:43.000 Come here.

00:04:44.000 Really?

00:04:44.000 Mm-hmm.

00:04:45.000 Yeah.

00:04:45.000 I'm welcome here?

00:04:46.000 Yeah.

00:04:47.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:04:49.000 And if it goes sideways, you want to be in Texas.

00:04:53.000 Because this place is already ready to be its own country.

00:04:56.000 But why do you guys want me?

00:04:57.000 What do I bring to the table?

00:04:58.000 You're funny.

00:04:58.000 That's all you need.

00:04:59.000 I'll take it.

00:05:00.000 Good guy.

00:05:01.000 Funny.

00:05:02.000 Good to hang with.

00:05:03.000 That's all we need.

00:05:04.000 I have one bad set, though.

00:05:04.000 There's going to be a talk like, you've got to cut this guy.

00:05:06.000 Nah, we've seen too many good sets.

00:05:08.000 I'm not buying it.

00:05:09.000 One bad set, you just need a pep talk.

00:05:11.000 That's like Theo Vaughn.

00:05:13.000 Does he...

00:05:13.000 Oh, I did a gig with him once and he was...

00:05:15.000 We did a gig in Edmonton together and he was so in his head when I was like...

00:05:20.000 They were like obsessed with you.

00:05:21.000 What are you worried about?

00:05:22.000 But...

00:05:22.000 He didn't get in his head.

00:05:23.000 We had to cancel the fucking... 1.00

00:05:25.000 This was crazy. 0.99

00:05:26.000 We're in Edmonton and there was like a...

00:05:29.000 Wildfires in Edmonton.

00:05:31.000 And this is how different personalities we are. 0.99

00:05:34.000 Like, I'm fucking in my... 0.98

00:05:35.000 I'm like, oh, the show is going to be canceled. 0.98

00:05:36.000 We're not going to be able to perform out here.

00:05:37.000 This is like bad air quality.

00:05:39.000 And he's like, nah, man, it's cool.

00:05:41.000 And then within 10 minutes, the agents called and they were like, the city shut down.

00:05:45.000 You can't...

00:05:46.000 And this was like right after COVID. So I'm like, we can't perform indoors.

00:05:48.000 We can't perform outdoors. 0.96

00:05:49.000 Like, can we do fucking anything? 0.98

00:05:51.000 And they were like, will you stay an extra day? 0.98

00:05:54.000 And we're like, of course.

00:05:55.000 And then we were like, the air will be better, right?

00:05:57.000 And they're like, the next day, ten times worse.

00:06:00.000 Wow.

00:06:00.000 It smelled like a casino, but outdoors.

00:06:06.000 Were you in New York when they had that orange smoke in the air?

00:06:10.000 Whenever something bad happens in New York and I'm not there, I feel like a traitor.

00:06:13.000 Yeah.

00:06:13.000 Because I'm such a city hick.

00:06:16.000 I think the second time I did my own tour bus, so I was really pumped to be on the road and I saw that and I was like, I'm a piece of shit. 1.00

00:06:23.000 That's Canadian smoke too. 1.00

00:06:24.000 That was Canadian smoke.

00:06:25.000 That was weird.

00:06:26.000 The orange thing was weird. 0.94

00:06:29.000 There's a lot of end of the world shit happening lately. 0.97

00:06:31.000 Oh yeah, a lot. 0.98

00:06:33.000 The orange thing was weird, too, because there was this great conspiracy because there was some missing chemicals.

00:06:37.000 There was apparently missing chemicals, like, serious amounts.

00:06:41.000 Does it always have to be like a comic book, you know? 0.96

00:06:44.000 It's always so fucking creepy.

00:06:46.000 Well, the whole world is like basically some bizarre movie now. 0.98

00:06:49.000 The Trump thing, the shooter, all the stuff that's coming out about the shooter now, the more you read about it, the more you're like...

00:06:55.000 What is going on?

00:06:57.000 Yeah, it's like a BlackRock thing too, right?

00:06:58.000 Yeah, he did a BlackRock commercial.

00:07:00.000 They knew that there was a suspicious person 10 minutes before Trump went on stage.

00:07:05.000 They still let him go on stage. 0.99

00:07:06.000 They saw him on the fucking roof and they didn't engage. 0.99

00:07:10.000 They saw him on the roof with a rifle. 1.00

00:07:12.000 It's a bad Secret Service right there.

00:07:14.000 They wouldn't put Secret Service agents on the roof because they said there was a slope to the roof and it would be dangerous.

00:07:20.000 It's more dangerous if the ex-president gets shot, which he did.

00:07:24.000 They let him get off.

00:07:25.000 The kid got off three shots, and apparently there was one that we saw that hit his ear, and you see the bullet.

00:07:32.000 The photographer got a bullet flying by his head.

00:07:35.000 Apparently there's another one of a bullet going by his left side of his head.

00:07:39.000 So it went by the right side of his head, hit his ear, went by the left side of his head as well.

00:07:43.000 Because the guy got off three shots.

00:07:45.000 Yeah.

00:07:45.000 And he just missed Trump every time.

00:07:47.000 And there was the one shot of him, like, turning his head. 0.99

00:07:49.000 And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? 0.98

00:07:50.000 It was that close? 0.99

00:07:51.000 Dude, it's so crazy.

00:07:52.000 Yeah.

00:07:53.000 It's so crazy.

00:07:53.000 And the fact that they had such poor security guarding him.

00:07:57.000 Like, they did such a terrible job. 1.00

00:08:00.000 My uncle's convinced it's bullshit. 1.00

00:08:02.000 My uncle's like, there's no way this is real. 0.99

00:08:04.000 I don't think it's not real, but...

00:08:07.000 Look, here's the deal.

00:08:08.000 Okay, I'm not accusing anybody of anything.

00:08:10.000 I just want to be real clear.

00:08:11.000 Yeah.

00:08:11.000 But they have organized assassinations before.

00:08:15.000 Sure.

00:08:16.000 And when they organize...

00:08:17.000 Usually starts a war.

00:08:18.000 Assassinations, it looks just like that. 1.00

00:08:20.000 And when they organize assassinations, one of the things they like to do is have some fucking loser kill the president, and then they kill the fucking loser, and... 1.00

00:08:29.000 That's a wrap. 1.00

00:08:30.000 This kid kind of like stops all the leads.

00:08:33.000 Everything's like, where does he go?

00:08:34.000 So they have his phone.

00:08:35.000 They say they can't get into his phone. 0.99

00:08:38.000 Bitch, I know you read my text messages. 1.00

00:08:41.000 Yeah, well, how can you not get in that kid's phone? 1.00

00:08:43.000 How can you not get in that kid's phone?

00:08:44.000 It's always shady, right?

00:08:46.000 They always die instantly.

00:08:47.000 Like, Kennedy assassination, too.

00:08:49.000 Like, a nightclub owner kills Lee Harvey Oswald?

00:08:51.000 I'm supposed to believe there's a nightclub owner with a heart of gold out there?

00:08:54.000 Runs right up and shoots him in front of cops.

00:08:57.000 Yeah.

00:08:57.000 What is this, the end of Shaft?

00:08:59.000 What the fuck is going on? 1.00

00:09:01.000 No, it's like, it's ridiculous. 1.00

00:09:04.000 That was the end of Superfly.

00:09:05.000 The new shaft ended like that, too.

00:09:07.000 The end of Superfly. 1.00

00:09:08.000 He tells him something stupid like that. 1.00

00:09:11.000 It's cinematic as fuck. 1.00

00:09:13.000 It all feels like a movie. 1.00

00:09:14.000 Yeah, it seems like a bad movie from the 70s.

00:09:16.000 Yeah.

00:09:17.000 It's weird.

00:09:18.000 That's how every 70s movie ended, by the way.

00:09:19.000 A guy just gets shot in the face.

00:09:21.000 Right, there's a lot of that.

00:09:22.000 Every movie, you're just like, it's like a guy gets shot in the face, and then the credits, and you're like, I guess this is...

00:09:28.000 The guy on the roof is just bananas.

00:09:32.000 That roof was 150 yards away. 0.64

00:09:34.000 And if you're a good shot with a rifle, hitting a human being at 150 yards is quite easy.

00:09:40.000 I don't know if his rifle had a scope.

00:09:42.000 I'm assuming it had a scope.

00:09:44.000 Someone said he was using iron sights.

00:09:46.000 But he wasn't like set up in advance.

00:09:48.000 He just went up there, right? 0.97

00:09:49.000 I mean, that's that's how they he had a rangefinder Okay, so the kid was walking around the the whole perimeter of the area with a rangefinder which is Instantaneously if your secret service you see someone the rangefinder walking 150 yards where the president is you tackle that fucking guy and You don't let that guy get on a ladder. 0.97

00:10:12.000 Yeah, this is your Super Bowl. 1.00

00:10:13.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:10:14.000 He brought a ladder. 1.00

00:10:16.000 The guy didn't just bring a rifle.

00:10:17.000 He got through there with a rifle and a ladder.

00:10:20.000 I don't know what kind of rifle it is.

00:10:22.000 I don't know if it's the kind of rifle where you could disassemble and reassemble, like an assassin, like screw it together. 0.82

00:10:28.000 But whatever it is, all of it stinks. 0.94

00:10:31.000 Every part of it stinks.

00:10:32.000 And every person who talks about them, it's like the classic incel, like, never spoke, never...

00:10:37.000 This was an old bit of mine.

00:10:39.000 I was like, that should be the...

00:10:40.000 If you want a gun, you have to be a good conversationalist.

00:10:44.000 You better be chatty.

00:10:46.000 Because that's like, every person who does these shootings things are assassinations. 1.00

00:10:50.000 It's like, they're the quiet, creepy fucking dude. 1.00

00:10:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:10:54.000 It's very strange.

00:10:55.000 The whole thing's very strange.

00:10:56.000 There's also photos of him where he had long hair and wear lipstick and looked like a girl. 0.98

00:11:01.000 I think that was bullshit, though. 0.99

00:11:02.000 Yeah, I think that's bullshit, too. 1.00

00:11:03.000 But that's a problem. 1.00

00:11:04.000 Like, everything's bullshit now. 0.97

00:11:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:06.000 The commercials, the BlackRock commercial, and then there's some videos of him in high school talking about having a 10-inch penis. 0.99

00:11:12.000 He looks like he's just having fun with his boys. 1.00

00:11:14.000 There's a video of him saying he's a 10-inch penis? 1.00

00:11:16.000 Yeah, but it's like he's joking around, you know? 1.00

00:11:18.000 Like, I have a 10-inch penis. 1.00

00:11:20.000 You know, like that kind of thing. 1.00

00:11:22.000 Weird dude.

00:11:23.000 Just a weird kid.

00:11:25.000 Yeah.

00:11:25.000 But how did he get in the BlackRock commercial?

00:11:28.000 What happened after that?

00:11:29.000 I don't know.

00:11:30.000 I mean, if I was the CIA, let's not even say CIA. Let's say if I was some shadowy intelligence agency that did these undercover operations that are a little sketchy.

00:11:44.000 I don't like to find kids like that.

00:11:45.000 That's your moneymaker.

00:11:47.000 That's how you do it.

00:11:48.000 If you've got a plan, you want to do something, you get some guy that's basically got nothing going on in life, and then you mentor him, become friends with him.

00:11:56.000 Maybe that guy's dad is an alcoholic who beats him. 1.00

00:11:59.000 Maybe his mom is a fucking junkie. 1.00

00:12:02.000 Who knows? 1.00

00:12:03.000 Maybe his life is terrible, and you can provide mentorship.

00:12:08.000 And you can provide, you know, just camaraderie.

00:12:11.000 Something like, wow, I wish I was a secret agent.

00:12:14.000 You know, and then you tell this guy, you tell this kid, hey, you know, you can help America.

00:12:20.000 We can work you into the program.

00:12:22.000 So now you are saying conspiracy.

00:12:24.000 Listen.

00:12:25.000 You're entertaining it.

00:12:26.000 Conspiracies are real.

00:12:27.000 They're real.

00:12:27.000 Sure.

00:12:28.000 I mean, whatever the fuck happened in Dallas, Texas in 1963, it's not what they tell you. 0.97

00:12:34.000 That's one thing 100% you're going to be sure. 0.96

00:12:37.000 There is no objective journalism with no slant, not leaving anything out.

00:12:42.000 Whatever happened with Lee Harvey Oswald and the... 0.73

00:12:45.000 And Kennedy and having some beef with the CIA and some weird shit over maybe Bay of Pigs or something, right?

00:12:51.000 Like they immediately... 0.77

00:12:53.000 How about Alan Dulles, who he fires...

00:12:56.000 Yeah.

00:12:56.000 He fires...

00:12:58.000 And then he gets assassinated and Alan Dulles is running the Warren Commission.

00:13:02.000 He's a part of the Warren Commission.

00:13:03.000 It's shady. 0.99

00:13:05.000 So much Kennedy shit over the years is so shady. 1.00

00:13:08.000 The shadiest. 1.00

00:13:09.000 The shadiest.

00:13:11.000 He's the biggest indicator, the biggest piece of evidence that... 0.98

00:13:16.000 Someone from somewhere organized together to kill that guy.

00:13:19.000 It wasn't just Lee Harvey Oswald.

00:13:21.000 Although, I'm of the opinion that Lee Harvey Oswald was also a part of it.

00:13:25.000 Yeah.

00:13:25.000 Because everybody wants it to be binary, right?

00:13:28.000 They want it to be one or zero, yes or no, Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, or he was just a patsy.

00:13:34.000 But that guy clearly was also doing something with intelligence agencies, because he was able to go back and forth to Russia, he learned Russian, he married a Russian woman, came back to America, And he was also living very well when he was over there. 0.97

00:13:49.000 He was spending money that, like, you're not making this on whatever per diem horse shit you're making over there. 0.97

00:13:54.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:13:55.000 He was, like, going to nightclubs and shit. 0.98

00:13:57.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:59.000 The whole story sucks. 0.99

00:14:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:01.000 The whole story seems like he was some sort of undercover operative.

00:14:03.000 Like he was getting paid out.

00:14:05.000 Yeah.

00:14:05.000 And then I think that's how they do it.

00:14:07.000 They make you think you're a part of something, and then they pin the whole thing on you.

00:14:11.000 And then, you know, I think there's probably multiple shooters.

00:14:15.000 I think there's probably...

00:14:16.000 The grassy knoll thing seems super legitimate.

00:14:18.000 Also, have you ever looked into how many people who are witnesses that wound up dying in mysterious manners?

00:14:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:24.000 It is like, we make fun of Russia for that shit, but... 1.00

00:14:24.000 Fucking crazy! 1.00

00:14:28.000 Listen, we do it too. 1.00

00:14:29.000 Of course.

00:14:30.000 We're just a better country and we're cooler.

00:14:32.000 For sure.

00:14:32.000 I'm pro-America.

00:14:33.000 Let's get real.

00:14:34.000 Let's be, yeah, come on.

00:14:35.000 America all day.

00:14:36.000 All day.

00:14:36.000 But like if you read, I was reading a Putin book and literally every chapter just ends with a guy, like the light going out in his hallway and getting shot in the face.

00:14:44.000 And I'm like, this seems like a pretty fucked up rise to power, you know? 0.98

00:14:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:48.000 Oh, Putin had the most fucked up rise to power. 1.00

00:14:51.000 That woman who just wrote the book on him, Masha, what's her name, you know? 0.99

00:14:55.000 Did she wind up missing?

00:14:56.000 She's, I think, either on trial or going to prison for saying something anti-military in Russia, which I'm like, alright, maybe, you know what, know your audience.

00:15:04.000 Maybe don't say that in Russia.

00:15:04.000 Yeah.

00:15:05.000 She wrote a book on Putin? 0.99

00:15:07.000 What a gangster she is. 1.00

00:15:08.000 It's pretty badass.

00:15:09.000 That's a crazy move, man, to know they're gonna come get you and you write that book anyway?

00:15:13.000 Oof.

00:15:13.000 Yeah.

00:15:14.000 Yeah.

00:15:15.000 That guy might be the richest man alive, you know.

00:15:17.000 He's really rich.

00:15:18.000 They don't know how rich he is.

00:15:19.000 I always hear that there are always rumors that he's not doing well and then nothing, but there's always stomach problems.

00:15:19.000 His place is crazy.

00:15:25.000 Didn't he have like a stomach cancer?

00:15:27.000 That's all rumors, right?

00:15:28.000 Yeah.

00:15:28.000 But also, how much access to medicine does that guy have?

00:15:32.000 I mean, if there's a way to cure something, that guy, they're going to get it to him.

00:15:36.000 And you have to think that Russia is not captured by the pharmaceutical industrial complex, so he probably has access to all of the off-book medicines that the FDA won't approve, and they'll try all this stuff that's like... 0.99

00:15:48.000 The good shit. 0.99

00:15:49.000 Yeah, shit that probably works right now. 1.00

00:15:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:52.000 It's like what Kobe used to go to Germany for knee operations, because he's like, they won't do this to me in America.

00:15:57.000 He would go there for Regenikine.

00:15:59.000 I've had Regenikine done.

00:16:00.000 What does that do?

00:16:01.000 It's like a very advanced form of platelet-rich plasma.

00:16:06.000 And I had a bulging disc in my neck, and one doctor was trying to convince me that I needed to get surgery.

00:16:13.000 He was like, we've got to trim that disc.

00:16:15.000 You scolded me for doing this.

00:16:18.000 I did something like that.

00:16:19.000 Well, I almost did it, and I know too many people have done it.

00:16:22.000 That's why I was like, don't do it.

00:16:23.000 You can't do it.

00:16:24.000 But you helped me a lot, by the way.

00:16:26.000 Good.

00:16:27.000 I think I told you this.

00:16:28.000 Yeah, how's your neck now?

00:16:29.000 I'm great, dude. 0.96

00:16:29.000 I'm fucking awesome. 0.96

00:16:29.000 It's much better. 0.96

00:16:30.000 That's great to hear.

00:16:32.000 I saw another clip of you recently where you were talking about getting older, like how you have to just lift weights for your health.

00:16:39.000 I was like, all right, I got a trainer for my dad.

00:16:41.000 I'm like, you guys are getting older, lift weights.

00:16:45.000 Yeah.

00:16:46.000 I didn't do it, dude.

00:16:47.000 I would just play basketball.

00:16:48.000 I was like, I'll just hoop. 0.97

00:16:49.000 And then I started to have fucked up neck problems and stuff. 0.97

00:16:52.000 And you gave me that neck thing. 0.97

00:16:54.000 The iron neck.

00:16:56.000 But then I just started lifting shoulders.

00:16:58.000 I have such bad shoulders, man.

00:17:00.000 You're holding your neck up.

00:17:02.000 If you don't do anything, there's no muscle there.

00:17:05.000 Your muscle only exists if you have a reason for it.

00:17:08.000 If you get a cast, if you break your arm, your arm just shrinks out.

00:17:12.000 Because you're not using it.

00:17:14.000 Your body only uses muscles.

00:17:17.000 It only has muscles where you use them. 0.94

00:17:20.000 And if you stop using them for a long period of time, they just fucking shrink.

00:17:25.000 It's a weird thing. 1.00

00:17:27.000 If you have to be bedridden for two weeks when you get up, you're weak as fuck. 0.99

00:17:31.000 Your body doesn't maintain itself. 1.00

00:17:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:35.000 Except the dick. 1.00

00:17:35.000 The dick is up every morning. 1.00

00:17:36.000 It seems fine. 1.00

00:17:37.000 The dick's rocking, dude. 0.99

00:17:38.000 But if you get older, it's more extreme because now your body's producing less testosterone, less human growth hormone. 1.00

00:17:44.000 You're not getting as much sleep.

00:17:45.000 You're not repairing in your sleep.

00:17:47.000 And if you have bad diet on top of that, then it's all compounding over the years and getting worse and worse and worse.

00:17:52.000 Your body doesn't have the nutrients to repair itself.

00:17:55.000 And, you know, with all this atrophy, then you start getting people that bend over to pick up a package and blow their back out.

00:18:01.000 Yeah.

00:18:01.000 And, like, how did you blow your back out from just bending over to tie your shoes?

00:18:05.000 That's the thing, too.

00:18:06.000 Practical strength.

00:18:07.000 Like, if you're, like, lifting for, like—if you're doing, like, deadlifts, you're like, all right, that's like picking up a box. 0.95

00:18:11.000 This makes sense as opposed to people that are just trying to look—like, I don't give a fuck about that. 0.99

00:18:15.000 I just want to not pull shit. 1.00

00:18:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:18:16.000 Yeah, you just want to not be old. 0.99

00:18:18.000 And, you know, you could do a lot of stuff with just, like, chin-ups and push-ups and bodyweight squats and Hindu squats.

00:18:24.000 And, you know, there's a bunch of different things that you could do that are just...

00:18:27.000 But the most important thing is you've got to do something.

00:18:30.000 And it's not just walk around.

00:18:32.000 And really, even cardio is not enough.

00:18:34.000 Because cardio doesn't...

00:18:35.000 You don't strain the muscles to make them strong.

00:18:38.000 You need to do that.

00:18:39.000 Yeah.

00:18:41.000 It's a requirement for people, just like brushing your teeth keeps you from getting cavities.

00:18:45.000 It's the same thing.

00:18:46.000 You just have to think about it that way, and most people don't.

00:18:49.000 But also think about it, it's like a compounded benefit, because you get the benefit of that, but then you also get the mental benefits.

00:18:55.000 Like, if I'm not feeling good, if I'm a little out of it in my own head, a good solid workout, I get out of there, I'm like, everything's fine.

00:19:03.000 Dude, I did it this morning.

00:19:04.000 I was like, I didn't want to do it.

00:19:05.000 I was hungover. 0.98

00:19:06.000 I didn't want to fucking do it. 0.98

00:19:07.000 But I just... 0.98

00:19:08.000 Just go light.

00:19:08.000 Light.

00:19:09.000 And then you get out of there and you're like...

00:19:11.000 Yeah.

00:19:12.000 You feel so much better.

00:19:13.000 Way better.

00:19:13.000 That's my message to the world.

00:19:14.000 Please, fucking do something. 0.99

00:19:16.000 I think we're designed for it. 0.99

00:19:17.000 I think that's what...

00:19:19.000 That's what kept us alive for hundreds of thousands of years before we had agriculture and we organized cities and we developed the stockpiles of food where you didn't have to work as hard.

00:19:29.000 And then everything just shriveled away.

00:19:31.000 I think everybody had to do physical things.

00:19:33.000 Especially cities like this, you can just get in a car and just not walk.

00:19:37.000 At least in New York, I do find myself like, I walk most places.

00:19:40.000 So I'm like, I'm doing something, but it's not enough, but it's something.

00:19:43.000 It's better than nothing, but it's definitely not enough.

00:19:46.000 No, you got to lift a little bit of weights.

00:19:48.000 Yeah.

00:19:49.000 And, you know, the problem is people have, like, lifting weights in their head.

00:19:52.000 A lot of people.

00:19:54.000 Especially, like, very smart people that have had bad experiences with jocks.

00:19:58.000 You know, in their head, lifting weights is like some douchey vanity thing where a bunch of bros are bumping chests.

00:20:06.000 You can't think about it that way. 0.99

00:20:07.000 Just because dumb people do a thing doesn't mean the thing is dumb. 0.99

00:20:11.000 No, it's actually smart. 0.99

00:20:12.000 The thing is actually very smart.

00:20:13.000 But intellectuals, a lot of very intelligent people don't exercise.

00:20:17.000 Yeah, Bill Gates does not look good.

00:20:18.000 I don't know if you'd call him an intellectual.

00:20:20.000 But you know what I mean, like a guy who has a lot of resources.

00:20:25.000 Yeah, but then Jeff Bezos does look good.

00:20:26.000 He looks very good.

00:20:27.000 Yeah, looks like he's Jack now.

00:20:29.000 Mark Zuckerberg looks great.

00:20:30.000 You know, it's just a thing that people usually concentrate on one aspect or another. 0.95

00:20:36.000 If they're like really into physical fitness and really into athletic shit and training and sports... 0.90

00:20:42.000 Generally, they're not as well-read on international politics and environmental issues. 0.95

00:20:49.000 It's one, or either you're socially conscious, really kind of aware of the world, understand exactly what's going on in Gaza, or you know how much creatine you should take every day.

00:20:59.000 You know which branch-chain amino acids are going to produce the best results, and you know what peptides are the best for healing.

00:21:05.000 It's like we put things into two different boxes.

00:21:08.000 Either you're really into your body, or you're really into your brain.

00:21:11.000 But I say you got to be into both.

00:21:13.000 Because if you're not really into your body, your brain is not going to work as good.

00:21:16.000 You're not going to have as much energy.

00:21:18.000 Especially as you get older.

00:21:18.000 Yeah.

00:21:20.000 Yeah, dude.

00:21:21.000 Yeah.

00:21:21.000 It's real.

00:21:22.000 The hangovers get worse.

00:21:24.000 They do. 0.98

00:21:25.000 It's fucking hard. 0.94

00:21:26.000 I didn't even have that much last night. 0.99

00:21:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:21:28.000 I had like maybe two drinks.

00:21:28.000 I know.

00:21:31.000 Yeah.

00:21:32.000 Two good-sized drinks on Tuesday.

00:21:34.000 And then Wednesday morning I woke up. 1.00

00:21:36.000 I was like, oh, I feel like shit. 0.99

00:21:38.000 For two drinks. 1.00

00:21:39.000 They're stout.

00:21:40.000 It's probably really legit for drinks.

00:21:43.000 When you're pouring them, it doesn't count.

00:21:44.000 But I do that too.

00:21:45.000 That's what we do at the Comedy Cellar, and you guys do it here too, I saw.

00:21:49.000 Liz, who manages the Comedy Cellar, will drink martinis out of a pint glass. 0.98

00:21:53.000 And I'm like, that's not a drink.

00:21:56.000 That's not a drink.

00:21:56.000 That's like eight drinks.

00:21:58.000 Yeah, it's multiple drinks.

00:21:59.000 Bigger drinks.

00:22:00.000 Jamie, bring over that buffalo tray, sir.

00:22:04.000 Let's drink.

00:22:05.000 Yeah.

00:22:07.000 Having a bar is interesting.

00:22:10.000 Yeah.

00:22:10.000 In what way?

00:22:11.000 Just that it's too much access?

00:22:12.000 I just go there and I see all these people just drinking.

00:22:15.000 It's like, this is...

00:22:16.000 I have a bar. 0.99

00:22:17.000 Like, what the fuck happened? 0.99

00:22:19.000 I have a bar. 1.00

00:22:19.000 I know. 1.00

00:22:20.000 It's a cool bar.

00:22:20.000 It's a great bar.

00:22:21.000 Lovely people working there, too.

00:22:23.000 And it's just such a great hang, especially because, you know, generally we're there mostly just with comics and waitstaff.

00:22:29.000 Thanks, sir.

00:22:29.000 And you've got to do that thing you were talking about yesterday about the, you know...

00:22:32.000 Where's your glass?

00:22:33.000 Let's go.

00:22:33.000 Oh, here we go.

00:22:34.000 Thanks, dude. 0.99

00:22:38.000 Yeah, well cheers to the fucking club being awesome man. 0.99

00:22:41.000 Cheers to you brother. 1.00

00:22:42.000 Thanks for having me.

00:22:42.000 Thanks for being here.

00:22:43.000 My pleasure.

00:22:46.000 Yeah, having a bar is fun.

00:22:47.000 It's really nice.

00:22:48.000 It's nice.

00:22:49.000 It's a good place to hang.

00:22:50.000 What you don't have here is something I love about...

00:22:53.000 Look, I'm a New Yorker till I die.

00:22:54.000 I'll never move. 1.00

00:22:54.000 But what I love about leaving a bar in the winter and just the cold air hitting your face and your shit face, I'm like, oh, that's just like... 1.00

00:23:02.000 It's almost like getting slapped by the fucking earth. 1.00

00:23:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:06.000 I love it. 0.99

00:23:07.000 And there's a few bars where you leave a dive and you just feel like, fuck, I feel like a... 0.99

00:23:13.000 It gets cold here in the winter, surprisingly. 0.99

00:23:15.000 Yeah, it gets you.

00:23:17.000 How cold?

00:23:18.000 Well, it snows.

00:23:19.000 It snows every now and then.

00:23:19.000 Really?

00:23:20.000 Yeah.

00:23:21.000 It snowed real bad one year.

00:23:22.000 Like the first year we moved here and they closed everything down.

00:23:25.000 It was hilarious.

00:23:26.000 Nobody knew how to drive.

00:23:27.000 And they don't have any plows.

00:23:28.000 So they don't just do anything.

00:23:29.000 They just wait until it gets warm. 0.98

00:23:31.000 Like this is the dumbest approach to snow management ever. 1.00

00:23:34.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:23:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:35.000 So nobody knew how to drive.

00:23:37.000 And you would see people in like Corvettes going sideways through intersections.

00:23:40.000 It's just everyone sliding around. 1.00

00:23:42.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:23:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:43.000 So every year it gets below 30. It gets in the 20s sometimes.

00:23:48.000 Yeah.

00:23:48.000 Trying to find...

00:23:49.000 This is the Jewish shit I'm going to do. 1.00

00:23:50.000 I might pop an antacid with this because I've been drinking coffee all morning. 1.00

00:23:54.000 Does that help you?

00:23:55.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:56.000 Ulcers and shit. 0.99

00:23:57.000 Oh, you have ulcers? 1.00

00:23:58.000 Ugh, dude.

00:23:59.000 I just read something about that, that they think ulcers have to do with some sort of stomach Bacteria now.

00:24:04.000 They used to think that it was like the lining of your stomach was getting eroded by stress and now they think it has something to do...

00:24:13.000 I think stress hurts it.

00:24:14.000 I hate to sound like a Jewish stereotype.

00:24:16.000 I think stress hurts everything.

00:24:18.000 I think stress hurts your immune system.

00:24:20.000 It hurts the way you sleep, which fucks everything up too. 0.78

00:24:24.000 It exacerbates everything.

00:24:25.000 It just makes sense that things come up with stress.

00:24:27.000 But I think they have some new theory about the creation of ulcers that's different.

00:24:32.000 I think it has to do with microbiome.

00:24:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:34.000 I had to get put under, and they were like, they did the x-ray thing, and they're like, that's a fucking ulcer. 0.99

00:24:39.000 That's a big ulcer. 0.98

00:24:40.000 And I was like, all right. 1.00

00:24:41.000 Damn. 0.99

00:24:42.000 So what do they tell you to do, like, eat-wise? 0.99

00:24:44.000 Just didn't do... 0.99

00:24:46.000 God, it sucks. 0.94

00:24:47.000 They're like, everything's bad, basically. 0.98

00:24:49.000 You're like, can't...

00:24:50.000 I'm like, well, how about coffee?

00:24:51.000 They're like, yeah, you can't have coffee.

00:24:52.000 I'm like, well, how about alcohol?

00:24:54.000 It's also, I have a drinking pod with Norman, so I'm like, well, I have to work.

00:24:57.000 I have to go do my thing.

00:24:58.000 And they're like, what do you mean work?

00:24:59.000 I'm like, well, I drink on my podcast.

00:25:01.000 And they're just like...

00:25:02.000 What? 1.00

00:25:03.000 They're just like, you fucking idiot? 1.00

00:25:04.000 And I was like, can I have one? 1.00

00:25:06.000 They're like, drink clear liquor.

00:25:08.000 They're like, I'm bargaining with them that I can still drink.

00:25:11.000 That's hilarious.

00:25:12.000 So then we did that.

00:25:15.000 But then, yeah, they're like, no acidic foods, no spicy foods. 0.99

00:25:19.000 I'm like, this is all my favorite shit. 0.99

00:25:21.000 Acidic food is the best food. 0.99

00:25:24.000 Yeah, so I just had to chill for like two months with that. 0.99

00:25:27.000 I was boring as fuck on the road. 0.98

00:25:28.000 My friend Gary Veeder tours with me and he's so annoyed because he wants every meal to be like a fucking home run on the road. 0.99

00:25:34.000 And I'm like, you can, I'll get whatever you want, but I can't. 0.59

00:25:37.000 He wants to like share stuff so we can try more things.

00:25:39.000 So he's just getting annoyed that I'm getting like plain ass food for two months.

00:25:44.000 Oatmeal and chicken breast. 0.75

00:25:45.000 That's everything I was eating.

00:25:46.000 Really?

00:25:46.000 But you feel weirdly kind of good, aside from this stinging in your stomach.

00:25:51.000 You've never had one?

00:25:52.000 No, I've never had one. 1.00

00:25:53.000 Damn. 0.99

00:25:54.000 Yeah, I don't get ulcers. 0.99

00:26:01.000 It's such a weird thing. 1.00

00:26:02.000 And it sucks because all my friends who have had them are just, like, pieces of shit. 1.00

00:26:06.000 Oh, really? 1.00

00:26:07.000 Yeah, my friends, like, I've had them. 1.00

00:26:08.000 I'm like, hey, you're like a fucking drug addict. 1.00

00:26:09.000 This sucks. 1.00

00:26:10.000 This is who I'm comparing myself to, you know? 0.99

00:26:12.000 When did you start getting them?

00:26:13.000 I got one years ago on the road in Montreal, and I went to a doctor, and he was just, like, very French, a matter of fact.

00:26:20.000 Like, no alcohol for 11 days.

00:26:24.000 And I was like, 11 days?

00:26:26.000 I was like, how the hell?

00:26:27.000 I was a young comic.

00:26:28.000 It was...

00:26:29.000 Once commonly thought that stress, smoking, and diet were the principal causes of stomach ulcers.

00:26:34.000 However, the Heliobacter pylori bacterium is now known to be responsible for the most How do you say it that way?

00:26:46.000 Duodental ulcers and 60% of stomach ulcers.

00:26:51.000 The H. pylori bacterium also prompts many symptoms of indigestion.

00:26:56.000 Treatment for stomach ulcers includes the use of antibiotics to kill the infection and acid-suppressing drugs.

00:27:01.000 Yeah, I take a pepsin a lot.

00:27:03.000 Hmm.

00:27:04.000 Also people that eat a lot of like...

00:27:05.000 Antibiotics.

00:27:06.000 That's interesting because antibiotics kill all the good bacteria too.

00:27:09.000 Yeah.

00:27:09.000 So that probably compounds the problem.

00:27:11.000 Yeah, I'm probably on borrowed time here.

00:27:13.000 Antibiotics are tricky.

00:27:14.000 My friend Gordon, Gordon Ryan, he's like the greatest jiu-jitsu athlete of all time.

00:27:19.000 He had staph so many times that he was basically on antibiotics for a whole year, and it ruined his stomach. 0.99

00:27:26.000 Like, his stomach is fucked. 0.99

00:27:27.000 In what way? 1.00

00:27:28.000 He has the craziest stomach issues, like some buildup of...

00:27:32.000 Like, fungus in there, and he's always ready to throw up.

00:27:36.000 He has a hard time putting down food.

00:27:39.000 I should be laughing at this, but it's crazy. 1.00

00:27:41.000 It just sucks. 0.98

00:27:42.000 Also, when you see the guy, the guy looks like a Greek god. 0.99

00:27:44.000 Yeah.

00:27:44.000 And you're like, there's nothing wrong with that guy.

00:27:46.000 His stomach is completely fucked, and it all started from... 0.99

00:27:50.000 You're not supposed to take antibiotics for a year. 0.99

00:27:53.000 But all these meatheads are doing jujitsu in this basement in New York City, and everyone's getting staph infections, and they don't want to stop training, so they just keep taking antibiotics and keep training.

00:28:01.000 That makes sense.

00:28:02.000 And then, you know, years later, you're dealing with this stuff. 0.95

00:28:07.000 Like, I don't know how the fuck any doctor prescribed him that, or if he just self-prescribed. 0.98

00:28:12.000 It's just even crazier. 0.97

00:28:13.000 Well, if he's like a famous athlete, I mean, he probably...

00:28:15.000 I don't think he was that famous back then.

00:28:17.000 He wasn't as known back then.

00:28:18.000 He's very known now.

00:28:21.000 All you need is one doctor to be a fan.

00:28:23.000 I had a doctor back in the day.

00:28:24.000 He was like, I love you on Conan.

00:28:26.000 I'm like, can I get muscle relaxers?

00:28:27.000 He's like, sure.

00:28:28.000 I mean, I wasn't doing well, but he had seen me kill on TV. So he's like, this guy's cool.

00:28:33.000 So I was just racking up Pills from him.

00:28:35.000 That's hilarious.

00:28:36.000 He's in the Philippines now, I think.

00:28:37.000 He's not even in America anymore.

00:28:38.000 Oh boy, he's on the run.

00:28:40.000 He's on the run.

00:28:41.000 He's on the run.

00:28:41.000 But for a while, dude, it was beautiful.

00:28:43.000 A lot of guys go to the Philippines and come back with wives.

00:28:46.000 A lot of older guys.

00:28:48.000 Yeah.

00:28:48.000 A lot of older guys go to the Philippines.

00:28:49.000 They're pretty women. 1.00

00:28:50.000 Yeah, pretty, young, super happy to not just be eating noodles. 1.00

00:28:54.000 Let's get out of this fucking country. 1.00

00:28:56.000 That's the pitch. 1.00

00:28:58.000 How would you like some just regular protein?

00:29:00.000 Yeah.

00:29:01.000 Well, when you find out what most of the world makes in terms of money, you're like, You know the number, like with the 1%, if you're in the top 1% of the world?

00:29:10.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:29:10.000 $34,000.

00:29:11.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:29:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:13.000 If you make $34,000 American dollars, you're in the top 1% of Earth.

00:29:17.000 Crushing life, man. 1.00

00:29:18.000 So all these people that talk about the 1%ers, hey, look in the mirror, fuckface. 1.00

00:29:22.000 It's all of us. 1.00

00:29:23.000 It's literally all of us. 1.00

00:29:24.000 We're all ridiculous. 0.94

00:29:25.000 We're talking about people in America, you know, like this inequality of wealth. 0.95

00:29:29.000 What about What about the world?

00:29:31.000 Yeah.

00:29:31.000 What about the whole thing?

00:29:32.000 It also depends on the state you live in, though, because 34 in some states ain't getting you far.

00:29:37.000 Oh, it's not getting you far in most.

00:29:39.000 In most states, it's not getting you far.

00:29:41.000 I mean, it's certainly not getting you far in New York and L.A., but just, you know...

00:29:46.000 Good thing I make 35. Yeah, nice.

00:29:49.000 I mean, people aren't walking over here.

00:29:49.000 Yeah, dude.

00:29:51.000 Yeah.

00:29:52.000 For no reason.

00:29:53.000 You know?

00:29:54.000 They're walking across that border.

00:29:56.000 Because where they are is so bad.

00:29:56.000 Yeah.

00:29:58.000 It's so bad you can't imagine it.

00:30:01.000 Yeah.

00:30:02.000 It's a good place.

00:30:03.000 I love America.

00:30:03.000 It's the best.

00:30:04.000 I'm a big fan.

00:30:05.000 I'm a big fan.

00:30:05.000 I like even the cities I think I won't like.

00:30:07.000 I did a bit of my new special about Springfield, Missouri, and all the feedback I was getting was like, man, it was so nice you talked about our city without shitting on it.

00:30:15.000 And I was like, yeah, I had a great time.

00:30:17.000 I will have a great time in any city for a night or two.

00:30:19.000 Well, I think now in particular, because of the internet, there's more aware, cool, sort of in-tune people everywhere.

00:30:28.000 It used to be, like back in the 80s, when you would go do gigs on the road, You're in the middle of bumfuck Ohio.

00:30:35.000 It could be a terrible gig. 0.99

00:30:37.000 They don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 0.99

00:30:40.000 No references. 1.00

00:30:41.000 Everybody's dumb and drunk. 1.00

00:30:42.000 It could be horrible. 1.00

00:30:43.000 But somewhere in the 2000s, that really changed.

00:30:46.000 You start to see when you go on the road, Kind of go to anywhere.

00:30:50.000 And if they're finding about you online and then, you know, they're finding out that your tickets are for sale online, then they go there.

00:30:56.000 Like, these people are tuned into the world.

00:30:58.000 They just happen to live in Lexington, Kentucky.

00:31:00.000 That's a great city.

00:31:01.000 It's great.

00:31:01.000 I love Lexington, dude.

00:31:03.000 That place is fun.

00:31:03.000 I've had some good times there.

00:31:05.000 Or Louisville.

00:31:06.000 The racetrack.

00:31:07.000 I want to go to the Kentucky Derby.

00:31:08.000 Have you been to Keeneland in Lexington, Kentucky?

00:31:10.000 No.

00:31:11.000 Oh, God.

00:31:12.000 What's that?

00:31:12.000 What's Keeneland?

00:31:13.000 It's like their horse racing thing.

00:31:15.000 You bet on the horses, and everyone is so well dressed, like seersucker suits.

00:31:20.000 That was my opening line in the city.

00:31:22.000 I was the only person there that didn't look like a villain in Django Unchained. 0.97

00:31:26.000 They're all so well dressed with their mint julep and their drink, and I was like, I fucking love this. 0.96

00:31:31.000 That is cool. 0.84

00:31:31.000 Not to mention, like, the bourbon in that town is so fun. 0.84

00:31:35.000 You just get... 0.99

00:31:36.000 You just get fucked up and you feel good. 0.99

00:31:39.000 It's like a nice quality. 1.00

00:31:40.000 You go to like a random pub there and you look at the bourbon menu and you're like, what the fuck? 0.98

00:31:45.000 There's like a diner menu. 0.99

00:31:47.000 That's funny.

00:31:48.000 It's beautiful.

00:31:49.000 I like Kentucky.

00:31:49.000 Yeah.

00:31:50.000 Kentucky's great.

00:31:51.000 Underrated place.

00:31:53.000 I've never been to the Derby, but everybody tells me it's a trip.

00:31:55.000 I read Hunter Thompson's.

00:31:57.000 The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved.

00:31:59.000 Have you ever read that?

00:32:00.000 I haven't. 0.99

00:32:01.000 Fucking amazing. 0.98

00:32:01.000 It's good? 0.98

00:32:02.000 Great piece. 1.00

00:32:03.000 Yeah, it's just talking about how fuck these rich monsters are there, like, letting their hair down and getting crazy at this horse race derby with all their nutty hats. 1.00

00:32:12.000 And, you know, the women have to wear those bizarre hats. 1.00

00:32:14.000 But it's a scene.

00:32:15.000 It's a scene.

00:32:16.000 I have a buddy who goes every year.

00:32:17.000 He's like, you gotta go. 0.98

00:32:18.000 It's fucking incredible. 0.99

00:32:20.000 So his wife go and they get dressed up. 0.99

00:32:22.000 They do the whole thing.

00:32:22.000 Yeah.

00:32:24.000 That's what I love.

00:32:25.000 If it's new to me, I want to do it.

00:32:27.000 Did you say formula?

00:32:28.000 You were saying formula in racing?

00:32:29.000 I just started watching it a little bit, and it's here now, right?

00:32:29.000 Well, yeah.

00:32:34.000 Yeah.

00:32:35.000 You should come.

00:32:36.000 You should come to the weekend at the club when it's in October.

00:32:40.000 It's really fun?

00:32:40.000 Yeah, if the weekend's not booked already, I'll find out if it's booked.

00:32:42.000 Yeah, dude, it's amazing.

00:32:44.000 It's so fun.

00:32:45.000 First of all, they're so fast when you're sitting right next to the track. 0.99

00:32:51.000 You're like, holy shit, they're going 250 miles an hour. 0.99

00:32:54.000 Oh, dude, I know. 1.00

00:32:54.000 I had a friend who was driving me, he's a very wealthy friend I have, and he was driving me in a McLaren, and he was showing off in LA, going fast, and I was like, what the fuck are you trying to kill me? 1.00

00:33:03.000 He's like, dude, we were going 50. But it feels like you're going 150 in those things.

00:33:08.000 Especially if someone knows how to drive.

00:33:09.000 Oh, dude, he's good.

00:33:10.000 I mean, but those... 0.97

00:33:13.000 Those racers are fucking incredible. 0.99

00:33:14.000 They lose like 20 pounds a match. 1.00

00:33:16.000 Yeah, it's nuts.

00:33:17.000 It's super physical.

00:33:18.000 Yeah.

00:33:18.000 It's super physical and it's all about their reaction times.

00:33:21.000 I mean, those guys, the G-forces they're experiencing going around those turns, they have to have stiff necks.

00:33:27.000 They have to have stout necks just to handle the forces.

00:33:31.000 I respect it a lot.

00:33:32.000 It's one of the things I didn't really get till I watched that documentary Senna on that racer.

00:33:36.000 And then I was like, wow, this is like knowing the angles and knowing when to turn and just it's all any sport. 0.98

00:33:43.000 If you're thinking you fucking lose. 0.97

00:33:45.000 Right. 0.99

00:33:46.000 And there's a basketball analyst, Walt Frazier, who would always be like, he's aiming his shot.

00:33:51.000 You know, you can't be aiming your shot.

00:33:53.000 You got to trust the muscle memory.

00:33:55.000 Right, right, right, right. 0.97

00:33:56.000 Anytime you think in sports, it's fucking over. 0.98

00:33:58.000 I was just reading that Agassi book. 0.99

00:34:00.000 It's so good.

00:34:00.000 I didn't realize how good...

00:34:02.000 My friend Matt Ruby was like, you gotta read the Agassi book.

00:34:05.000 It's hilarious. 0.99

00:34:06.000 He's so fucking... 0.99

00:34:07.000 He's a good writer. 0.99

00:34:08.000 I'm sure he had help, but it's well-written.

00:34:11.000 And he's just talking about...

00:34:12.000 He's so in his head, and he's mad.

00:34:14.000 He's playing someone like Pete Sampras, who's like, I wish I was this dull. 0.55

00:34:19.000 This guy's like a brick wall. 0.99

00:34:20.000 He doesn't feel shit. 0.99

00:34:22.000 Meanwhile, Agassi's going to see Broadway shows. 0.99

00:34:24.000 He's an emo guy.

00:34:26.000 He's an interesting dude.

00:34:27.000 He's so angry.

00:34:29.000 All these guys had abusive dads.

00:34:31.000 But he's so rebellious and angry his dad's forcing him to play tennis that he's at this tennis compound.

00:34:37.000 They're forcing him to...

00:34:39.000 Get better and he's crushing everybody because he's a prodigy, but he's doing it in like mascara and a pink mohawk and an earring. 1.00

00:34:46.000 It's like a fuck you. 1.00

00:34:47.000 It's so funny. 1.00

00:34:48.000 I mean, he's such an interesting guy.

00:34:50.000 I had no idea. 0.91

00:34:52.000 I just didn't I don't know tennis that well, but I I mean I respect the fuck at any Any sport that, like, you turn on, you're like, this is kind of great to watch. 0.93

00:34:59.000 Oh, yeah. 0.86

00:34:59.000 Tennis is insanely difficult to do at a high level. 0.86

00:35:03.000 When you watch those guys moving and volleying back and forth and all the different setups.

00:35:08.000 Oh, my God.

00:35:09.000 Oh, my God.

00:35:10.000 Angles and speed and, like, mind games.

00:35:12.000 Because you're on an island, man.

00:35:13.000 You're not, like, it's not a team sport where you get, like, a high five every once in a while.

00:35:17.000 You're alone.

00:35:18.000 That's why they're, like, cursing to themselves. 0.99

00:35:19.000 Like, you see McEnroe, like, breaking a rack, and you're like, I fucking get that. 0.91

00:35:23.000 And you have to be in insane physical shape because you can't get tired and not go for the ball. 0.87

00:35:27.000 And the heat and the different courts.

00:35:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:35:30.000 Clay and grass.

00:35:31.000 Clay is so weird.

00:35:33.000 Oh, it's the weirdest.

00:35:34.000 You're playing on clay?

00:35:34.000 That's a weird court.

00:35:36.000 It rains?

00:35:37.000 You're like, so it's mud?

00:35:38.000 Like, what are we doing here? 0.97

00:35:40.000 This is so fucking weird. 0.97

00:35:41.000 But, yeah, no, there's a story about him when he was nine, and his dad is such a fucking grifter that his dad, Jim Brown, the football player, sees him as a kid, and he's just, like, looking for a game for money at this country club, and he's like, let's... 0.97

00:35:54.000 Let's play someone and everyone says no and Agassi's dad's like he'll play you for money and it's like he's fucking nine you're you're pimping out your kid for money against the best running back maybe ever and he's like no I'm not gonna play your kid for money and he's like I'll bet my house that my kid will beat you and Jim Brown's like I don't need a house how much money you want to play for and his dad goes how about 10 grand it's like they're life savings he's putting this on his son who's nine years old and And, 0.79

00:36:19.000 you know, then he sees Agassi hit, the dad goes to get the money, and he's like, fuck, this kid's kind of good. 0.99

00:36:24.000 And he goes, how about I just play you, you know, for fun, and then we'll decide how much. 0.99

00:36:30.000 Agassi whoops his ass, like 6'3", 6'3", and he goes, I'll play for 500. Agassi whoops his ass, takes him, he's nine! 1.00

00:36:37.000 Wow! 1.00

00:36:38.000 Against a fucking Hall of Fame athlete! 1.00

00:36:41.000 And his dad... 1.00

00:36:41.000 It's like his dad did it. 1.00

00:36:43.000 Imagine, like, you're thinking about your family's mortgage and your siblings and their future, and you're like, if I lose, we're fucked. 1.00

00:36:48.000 Wow. 0.99

00:36:49.000 Imagine doing that to a kid, like, of course he's angry and broken.

00:36:52.000 Yeah.

00:36:52.000 I don't know.

00:36:53.000 We talked about Tiger Woods before, but, I mean, any athlete who, like...

00:36:56.000 Is that good? 0.98

00:36:58.000 It's like a porn star. 1.00

00:36:59.000 You had a fucked up dad, basically. 1.00

00:37:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:01.000 If you get pushed that hard, I mean, if you get pushed that hard to be the best of the best as a child, that means you're missing everything else. 1.00

00:37:10.000 If you want to be the best of the best, there's no way you're going to birthday parties.

00:37:13.000 There's no way you're sitting at home and watching cartoons.

00:37:16.000 No, you're going to training in the morning.

00:37:18.000 You're getting coaching.

00:37:19.000 Weirdly though, Hitler, good childhood. 1.00

00:37:22.000 Really?

00:37:22.000 And he was one of the best.

00:37:24.000 Also, heavy meth user.

00:37:26.000 I think meth can erase all good parenting.

00:37:29.000 Yeah.

00:37:30.000 All good parenting goes by the wayside when meth gets to the equation. 0.97

00:37:33.000 Some people are just...

00:37:34.000 I bet one of the best. 1.00

00:37:36.000 I mean, evil motherfuckers, obviously. 1.00

00:37:38.000 But, yeah, some people... 1.00

00:37:40.000 It's weird when there's a serial killer and he's just in it for the love of the game.

00:37:44.000 You know what I mean?

00:37:44.000 Because every once in a while they're like, no, he had a good childhood.

00:37:47.000 Didn't Ted Kaczynski have a good childhood?

00:37:50.000 I think he did.

00:37:51.000 No.

00:37:52.000 No, he didn't?

00:37:52.000 No, he didn't.

00:37:53.000 Ted Kaczynski... 0.99

00:37:54.000 He was like a nerd. 0.97

00:37:55.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:37:56.000 He had a bad thing happen to him when he was a baby.

00:37:58.000 He was sick, and then they took him away from his parents, and he was brought to a hospital.

00:38:02.000 We had no physical contact for months.

00:38:04.000 Really?

00:38:05.000 Yeah, for months and months.

00:38:06.000 It was a part of the documentary on Netflix about him.

00:38:09.000 His brother talks about it.

00:38:11.000 And then, after that...

00:38:12.000 And his brother was a good guy, though.

00:38:14.000 Yeah, his brother was a really good guy.

00:38:15.000 His brother turned him in.

00:38:16.000 Yeah.

00:38:16.000 So, he was...

00:38:19.000 A sociopath from the time he was getting no love at all as a baby for months and months at a time.

00:38:25.000 I forget the length of it, whatever this illness, but they basically kept him in a crib.

00:38:28.000 And when he cried, that was it.

00:38:30.000 No one comforted him.

00:38:31.000 No one picked him up.

00:38:32.000 But that's what my sister did to her baby. 1.00

00:38:34.000 You're making him independent.

00:38:35.000 Never, ever.

00:38:36.000 Zero.

00:38:36.000 Zero minutes in any day was anybody touching him for weeks and weeks and weeks and months and months and months on end.

00:38:41.000 And his brother said he came out fucked up from that. 0.96

00:38:45.000 He's in Harvard. 0.99

00:38:46.000 He's a genius.

00:38:47.000 And they put him through the LSD studies of Harvard.

00:38:50.000 That's right.

00:38:51.000 Yes. 1.00

00:38:52.000 Which is also some CIA, MK Ultra shit. 1.00

00:38:55.000 Wormwood, that shit. 1.00

00:38:57.000 So they put him through these LSD studies at Harvard, and part of the studies were humiliation. 1.00

00:39:03.000 And like to see how he responds to like severe humiliation So they should just scientists like look at this fucking pussy I don't remember what they did like how they did it, but it was like coordinated organized humiliation and just Psychological warfare just to see what kind of response it has in this fragile now We know yeah, 1.00

00:39:21.000 we know we know so then he goes to Berkeley becomes a professor and Saves up his money just so the woods live in the woods and kill everybody's making technology and Yeah, what a fucking weird guy. 1.00

00:39:32.000 Meanwhile, he has a point. 0.96

00:39:33.000 Like, his point was technology is going to destroy the human race and it's going to eventually take over us.

00:39:39.000 And he was right.

00:39:40.000 He's right.

00:39:40.000 It's happening right now.

00:39:41.000 He was right.

00:39:42.000 He could have gotten his message out in a different way, probably.

00:39:44.000 Maybe he's a little heavy-handed in this brooch. 1.00

00:39:49.000 Some of the writing, I'm like, this motherfucker was onto something. 0.99

00:39:52.000 He was undeniably brilliant. 0.99

00:39:55.000 But in the documentary, his brother talks about, say if he asked a girl on a date and the girl said no, he would just write the most evil, vicious letters to her and harass her. 0.89

00:40:05.000 He was a crazy person before the LSD studies.

00:40:08.000 And then the LSD studies, they just cracked him.

00:40:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:12.000 Damn, yeah. 0.99

00:40:13.000 No, I remember there was a story about him, like, he made, like, a little, like, he used his intellect, he made some kind of, like, firecracker to show off to a girl in high school, and she was, like, freaked out by it. 0.99

00:40:24.000 And I'm like, holy shit, what a defining moment for a guy who becomes pure evil and uses explosives. 0.91

00:40:29.000 Right. 1.00

00:40:29.000 Kills scientists and technology makers. 1.00

00:40:32.000 Yeah. 0.80

00:40:33.000 Yeah, it's a weird part of our history is those experiments that they did on people.

00:40:38.000 And I'd like to know how many of them turned out real bad.

00:40:42.000 Like how many of those people that were involved in the Harvard LSD studies went on to become psychopaths?

00:40:46.000 How many lives got ruined because of that?

00:40:49.000 Well, who was the guy?

00:40:50.000 Errol Morris made the documentary on Netflix about the guy who was in the LSD. I think it was his dad.

00:40:56.000 No, someone's dad was in the LSD studies and they absolutely threw him out a window. 1.00

00:41:00.000 Like he knew too much and they threw him out a fucking window. 0.99

00:41:04.000 Yeah, 100% they do that. 0.99

00:41:05.000 And it's like, imagine you just grow up and you're like, my dad was murdered by the CIA. I mean, it's pretty fucked up. 0.99

00:41:12.000 It's very fucked up. 1.00

00:41:14.000 You want a cigar? 1.00

00:41:15.000 You like cigars?

00:41:15.000 I'm not a big cigar guy.

00:41:16.000 No?

00:41:17.000 No, but I'll keep drinking with you.

00:41:18.000 Alright, I'm just thinking about popping a cigar.

00:41:20.000 You want to be rude? 1.00

00:41:21.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:41:21.000 If you have one, I'll have one. 1.00

00:41:22.000 Alright, let's go.

00:41:23.000 What do you got here?

00:41:24.000 Project MK Ultra, did CIA scientist Frank Olsen jump or was he pushed?

00:41:28.000 Yeah, he's probably pushed.

00:41:31.000 I mean, it's always one where it's like, was there a note?

00:41:36.000 Right.

00:41:36.000 And even if there was a note, they could have fudged that, but...

00:41:39.000 The official verdict was suicide.

00:41:40.000 Oh, he fell from the window of his Manhattan hotel room in 1953, died on the sidewalk in his undershirt and shorts at about 2 a.m., The official verdict was suicide, but a second autopsy raised questions, although not proof of a possible homicide.

00:41:53.000 Olsen's family and many others have been searching for answers in a hall of mirrors.

00:41:57.000 Dude, I had a woman jumped out the window in front of me once, splat, like 10 feet in front of me in Manhattan.

00:42:03.000 I was going home.

00:42:04.000 I was in sixth grade, and I was trying to get the bus, and I'm with my friend.

00:42:10.000 I stopped to take out my MetroCard and right in front of me. 0.86

00:42:14.000 She could have killed you. 1.00

00:42:15.000 I mean, if I didn't stop, I'd be dead. 0.99

00:42:17.000 It's crazy to think about.

00:42:19.000 You're just so...

00:42:20.000 Your mind protects you. 0.99

00:42:22.000 It's really fucked up when you experience something like that because I wasn't scared. 1.00

00:42:26.000 I was just kind of like, oh shit. 1.00

00:42:30.000 I was like, oh shit, there's a movie going on or someone's shooting a movie. 1.00

00:42:34.000 You don't accept it as real. 1.00

00:42:36.000 Oh, wow.

00:42:37.000 So you thought it was a fake body.

00:42:39.000 Yeah, but it got me out of a history test the next day.

00:42:42.000 What did she look like when she hit the ground?

00:42:46.000 Face first, didn't die instantly.

00:42:47.000 That's the one thing I remember.

00:42:52.000 Face first.

00:42:56.000 Good.

00:42:58.000 Yeah, she... 1.00

00:42:58.000 Face first, she was mumbling to herself. 1.00

00:43:02.000 That was the most fucked up thing. 1.00

00:43:03.000 After she hit the ground? 0.99

00:43:04.000 Yeah.

00:43:05.000 Oh, no.

00:43:05.000 It didn't kill her instantly.

00:43:06.000 She muttered something like, I'm cold, and my friend's mom saw it, and she went into a store and got her a blanket.

00:43:12.000 Oh, God.

00:43:12.000 How far did she fall from?

00:43:14.000 Do we know?

00:43:14.000 I don't know.

00:43:15.000 Probably, like, I would guess at least eight stories would be my guess, but, like, maybe five.

00:43:19.000 I don't know.

00:43:20.000 Oh, my God, when she lived...

00:43:22.000 Oh! 0.60

00:43:22.000 Well, not in the end she didn't live, but she didn't die instantly. 0.60

00:43:25.000 Oh, god damn. 0.98

00:43:27.000 But I remember I called my friend's mom, who was like a major narcissist after this, and I just wanted to talk to someone because my parents weren't home. 0.99

00:43:35.000 And I was like trying to tell him, and the mom just like picked up the phone and talked about herself for like 20 minutes straight.

00:43:41.000 No way.

00:43:42.000 And then she's like, how was your day?

00:43:43.000 I was like, I just saw someone die.

00:43:44.000 And she's like, all right, well, Elliot's not home right now.

00:43:47.000 Like, that was it?

00:43:48.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:43:48.000 It was a weird fucking call. 1.00

00:43:50.000 Put that lady in the LSD studies. 1.00

00:43:52.000 See what we can do with her.

00:43:55.000 That should be a punishment.

00:43:56.000 Well, I think...

00:43:57.000 It shouldn't be...

00:43:58.000 Yeah, it should be...

00:43:58.000 We're talking again about, like, this kid on the roof with Trump.

00:44:01.000 Like, that's the kind... 0.99

00:44:03.000 You find someone who's all fucked up from life Can I do another whiskey too? 0.99

00:44:08.000 Sure. 0.99

00:44:08.000 That's a very specific kind of person. 0.99

00:44:12.000 You know, it's hard to make a real, a total narcissist like your friend's mom, who you just tell them about someone jumping off of a fucking roof in front of you and almost killing you and splattering in front of you, and they don't even care? 0.98

00:44:23.000 I think she just didn't know what to say. 0.96

00:44:26.000 I don't think it was malicious, the way she's like, oh, I'm sorry.

00:44:29.000 I don't think she meant bad, but I think she just wasn't equipped to give me anything.

00:44:34.000 Some people aren't equipped to have real conversations.

00:44:36.000 They just talk.

00:44:37.000 They just talk and talk at you.

00:44:39.000 I know.

00:44:39.000 Yeah.

00:44:40.000 But if you find someone who's really fucked up, like if you were a part of a secret program, you would probably kind of want to be going to visit schools to see if you could find someone who's on the edge. 0.77

00:44:52.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:44:53.000 Recruit them. 1.00

00:44:55.000 Especially if you're planning on killing them anyway. 1.00

00:44:58.000 They knew that if this kid was gonna go on the roof and shoot the president, they could talk him into going on the roof. 1.00

00:45:03.000 Let's assume.

00:45:03.000 Not even this scenario.

00:45:04.000 Let's not be crazy.

00:45:05.000 Let's just say, if you wanted to set up a scenario, we're gonna have someone assassinate the president. 1.00

00:45:10.000 You get some guy whose life is a fucking complete and total disaster. 0.99

00:45:14.000 You either hypnotize him, or you mentor him, you give him psychiatric drugs, you do a bunch of things, you get him to do it, and you know that once he gets on top of that roof and shoots the president, everyone's gonna shoot him. 0.99

00:45:28.000 And it's nice and clean.

00:45:29.000 They never let those guys live.

00:45:31.000 My question is, of course, but my question is, do you want him actually to kill Trump in this scenario?

00:45:37.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:45:38.000 They definitely wanted him to kill Trump. 0.95

00:45:40.000 There was also an Iranian... 0.99

00:45:41.000 Don't you think...

00:45:42.000 I find it a little irresponsible.

00:45:43.000 Is this his gun?

00:45:44.000 No, no, no.

00:45:44.000 I was willing that you guys could keep talking.

00:45:46.000 Sorry I interrupted, but I can't find a picture of the gun. 0.95

00:45:49.000 I'm so put off when people like, you know, Lauren Boebert and shit are like being like... 0.79

00:45:54.000 Biden hired him to do this, and you're like, stop trying to pour gas in the fire. 0.92

00:46:02.000 Yeah, how do you know? 0.97

00:46:02.000 We are so fucking lucky he's not dead. 0.97

00:46:05.000 So lucky. 0.98

00:46:06.000 The country, like, I believe, and I, part of being maybe an entertainer is like, I get to see a unified crowd.

00:46:14.000 That's part of the beauty of being able to tour as a comic is like, I get to see a room of people laughing together and I always hate when comics are like going out of their way to divide a room.

00:46:26.000 Yeah.

00:46:26.000 And I feel the same way, I mean more so even about politicians who I'm like, why are you trying, why are you aiming for chaos?

00:46:33.000 Like, you really can kind of unite people if you give a good speech.

00:46:37.000 Of course.

00:46:38.000 You really can.

00:46:39.000 Like, you really can inspire people and unite people with the right words.

00:46:42.000 Yeah.

00:46:43.000 And the right, like, the right real feeling behind it where it really resonates with people, and they go, well, you know what?

00:46:48.000 He's right.

00:46:49.000 He's right.

00:46:50.000 We should do it differently.

00:46:51.000 We should...

00:46:52.000 We should relax a little. 1.00

00:46:53.000 Get our shit to you. 0.99

00:46:54.000 Which is really funny. 1.00

00:46:54.000 After the assassination attempt, Biden is like, we have to put aside our differences. 1.00

00:47:00.000 You were just saying it was Hitler!

00:47:01.000 I know, but also, they made a big deal that Biden called Trump, and he was like, there's no place for this.

00:47:08.000 I'm like, murder?

00:47:09.000 Yeah!

00:47:10.000 There should not be a place for assassinating people.

00:47:13.000 There also should be no place for you using so much hyperbolic statements that you're saying that your opponent, if they win, it's the death of democracy.

00:47:23.000 Because they kept saying that over and over again.

00:47:25.000 Both sides do that.

00:47:26.000 They all do that.

00:47:27.000 Both sides do that.

00:47:28.000 He's going to be a dictator. 0.93

00:47:29.000 He's going to be a tyrant. 0.55

00:47:30.000 It's the death of democracy.

00:47:31.000 He's going to put people in camps.

00:47:33.000 It all started when we started comparing every politician to Hitler, because it gave us nowhere to go.

00:47:38.000 Right, right, right.

00:47:39.000 Here's the problem.

00:47:39.000 Every cable news show, they thrive the way politicians are trying to thrive now.

00:47:45.000 It's like chaos.

00:47:46.000 It's like you are poisoning... 1.00

00:47:49.000 Every audience member who watches this shit. 1.00

00:47:51.000 Cable news is literally they're pouring poison down your throat. 1.00

00:47:55.000 And the way they're set up, they kind of have to do that because otherwise they're not going to survive. 1.00

00:47:59.000 When Trump was out of office, they were dipping like a motherfucker. 1.00

00:48:03.000 Huge dip. 1.00

00:48:04.000 Huge dip.

00:48:05.000 Because he was giving them content.

00:48:07.000 Yeah.

00:48:08.000 The fear content.

00:48:09.000 Yeah.

00:48:10.000 Yeah, it's not a good time for being informed.

00:48:14.000 It's a very confusing time in terms of understanding exactly what's going on in the world.

00:48:19.000 It's real weird.

00:48:22.000 It's just real weird. 0.99

00:48:24.000 You don't know what the fuck is happening. 0.97

00:48:26.000 It's no official reports of things and there's so many different things that are popping off. 0.99

00:48:31.000 There's so much going on in Ukraine and in Israel and it's like, what's going on in America? 0.99

00:48:36.000 And somebody just tried to kill the president and like, you see how- I couldn't believe that shit. 1.00

00:48:41.000 I was like, this can't be fucking- Can't be rude. 1.00

00:48:44.000 When did the world turn into the World Wrestling Federation? 0.97

00:48:47.000 I was in Italy.

00:48:48.000 All of it.

00:48:48.000 I was in Italy when it was going on.

00:48:50.000 With the Trump thing on the roof?

00:48:52.000 Yeah, cop went on the roof, he pointed a gun at the cop, and the cop jumped off the roof. 1.00

00:48:57.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.98

00:48:58.000 You never see that in like an Eastwood movie. 0.99

00:49:00.000 Yeah, the cop was like, I'm getting out of here. 1.00

00:49:01.000 The cop jumped up and going, fuck this shit. 1.00

00:49:02.000 Just says he fired eight times at Trump? 1.00

00:49:04.000 Yeah.

00:49:04.000 Really?

00:49:07.000 This then also says his father reported it missing.

00:49:11.000 With his rifle.

00:49:12.000 Yeah, the father made a phone call.

00:49:13.000 Did he give him the...

00:49:14.000 So I know it was the dad's gun.

00:49:16.000 Do they know if it was a gift or if it was he borrowed it or stole it?

00:49:20.000 It says the son missing along with his rifle.

00:49:22.000 So that was his son's rifle.

00:49:24.000 No, it says, well, it's hard to say what he's saying there, because it could be saying the son was missing with his rifle, but it could be saying the son was missing with his son's rifle.

00:49:33.000 See how it says it?

00:49:34.000 Crook's father reports his son missing along with his rifle.

00:49:38.000 That could either be interpreted as Crook's father's rifle or the kid's rifle.

00:49:43.000 Right?

00:49:44.000 Am I wrong?

00:49:45.000 No, yeah, you're right.

00:49:46.000 Yeah.

00:49:46.000 There were over a dozen firearms found in the Crook's household.

00:49:49.000 So there was a lot of guns in the house. 1.00

00:49:51.000 How would you like to have that be your fucking kid? 1.00

00:49:53.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:49:54.000 They used DNA to identify him?

00:49:57.000 Well, you could use a photo.

00:49:58.000 I saw his face.

00:49:59.000 But no, they said that FBI used DNA to figure it out.

00:50:02.000 Oh, to make sure it's him?

00:50:03.000 And they're not giving any explanation on exactly how they did that.

00:50:08.000 And people were like thinking...

00:50:09.000 How they ran a DNA test?

00:50:10.000 They might have used like DNA.com or Ancestry.com or something like that. 1.00

00:50:13.000 Oh, they definitely probably used those fucking things. 0.99

00:50:16.000 All those databases, we're all compromised. 0.99

00:50:18.000 I shouldn't have done it.

00:50:19.000 I shouldn't have done it, too.

00:50:20.000 You did it, too?

00:50:21.000 Yeah, I did it.

00:50:22.000 Why'd we do it?

00:50:23.000 A drunk girl in a bar convinced me to do it, and I was like, yeah, I was hammered. 0.98

00:50:27.000 I was like, yeah, I want to know how fucking Ashkenazi Jew I am. 1.00

00:50:30.000 Like, who gives a shit? 1.00

00:50:31.000 I know, right? 1.00

00:50:32.000 Like, clearly I have some Turkish in me with these eyebrows. 0.97

00:50:35.000 I know what I am, basically.

00:50:36.000 But she was like, no, you need to know, and she did it on the spot in a bar. 1.00

00:50:40.000 She ordered it for me, and then I was like, I'm a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:50:44.000 Well, you gave away all your DNA to China, and now they can make a bioweapon that specifically targets you. 1.00

00:50:50.000 That's a new thing that they can do now.

00:50:52.000 How does that work?

00:50:53.000 Well, certain people have certain genetic, like, people are different, right?

00:50:58.000 Like, there's certain people where certain genes impact them differently.

00:51:03.000 Like, for instance, the reason why some black people get sickle cell anemia is because their family has a history, their ancestors have a history Of protection against malaria.

00:51:15.000 So because they've survived malaria, somehow or another that gene manifests itself in sickle cell anemia, right?

00:51:23.000 And like people from certain parts of the world have genes that are more associated with alcoholism or have genes that are more associated with certain...

00:51:31.000 So if they could find like a particular vulnerability that you may have or that certain races may have even, you can create a bioweapon specifically, and this is all theoretical of course, but specifically to target an individual person.

00:51:48.000 But don't they kind of already know if that's your tendency, what race you are?

00:51:52.000 I don't know.

00:51:53.000 I mean, I think it's probably really...

00:51:55.000 Like, some people think they're one thing, and they find out they're not. 1.00

00:51:59.000 They do a Woody Allen film festival in New York and just nuke it, and I'm like, fuck! 0.99

00:52:04.000 I walked right into that one. 0.99

00:52:05.000 I think...

00:52:06.000 But for the biological thing, I think it's like...

00:52:10.000 There's very specific things like you're different than me and and I'm different than Jamie and there could be a Certain biological weapon that only targets Jamie's DNA and they can use it on him See if they could find out whatever the fuck that is now Because they're they're talking about this in terms of like the vulnerability of selling our entire DNA database Because apparently if you signed up for one of those,

00:52:37.000 it's either DNA.com or Ancestry.com or 23andMe.

00:52:41.000 One of those sold their whole database.

00:52:45.000 By the way, you get the alerts where they're like, we found another family member for you.

00:52:48.000 I'm like, I'm good.

00:52:49.000 We're tapped out here.

00:52:51.000 I'm busy.

00:52:52.000 I'm about to change my number anyway.

00:52:54.000 I'm in a blended family as is.

00:52:55.000 I have step-siblings.

00:52:56.000 I'm like, let's cap it here.

00:52:58.000 That's enough of bringing strangers into your life. 0.99

00:53:01.000 What's funny is they tell you random shit on those sites where they're like, you prefer salty to sweet. 0.99

00:53:06.000 And I'm like, holy shit, that is true. 1.00

00:53:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:53:09.000 But then sometimes you feel like you're talking to a chick who just knows your astrological sign, and I'm just dumb, and I'm like, yeah, I guess I am.

00:53:14.000 But there's certain things like- I guess I am cheerful.

00:53:16.000 The taste of cilantro.

00:53:18.000 Some people, it tastes like soap.

00:53:19.000 Do you like it or not?

00:53:20.000 I like it.

00:53:20.000 Me too.

00:53:21.000 Yeah.

00:53:22.000 Some people don't like- What does it say, Jim?

00:53:23.000 It's potentially hypothetical, but this is what people inside the government have said about it.

00:53:27.000 That's what it is, where you can actually take someone's DNA, their medical profile, and you can target a biological weapon that will kill that person, or take them off the battlefield and make them inoperable.

00:53:39.000 You can't have a discussion about this without talking about the privacy and commercial data and the protection of commercial data because expectations of privacy have degraded over the last 20 years.

00:53:48.000 People will rapidly spit into a cup and send it to 23andMe and get really interesting data about their background and guess what?

00:53:55.000 Their DNA is now owned by a private company.

00:53:57.000 It can be sold off with very little intellectual property protection or privacy protection and we don't have legal and regulatory regimes that deal with that.

00:54:06.000 The data is actually going to be procured and collected by our adversaries for the development of these systems.

00:54:12.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:54:12.000 Oh, cool.

00:54:13.000 We're all fucking stupid. 1.00

00:54:14.000 This is flat-out Alex Jones stuff. 1.00

00:54:16.000 Like, if you'd heard this five years ago, like, Alex, relax.

00:54:19.000 Yeah.

00:54:20.000 They're finding your own personal DNA, and they're developing weapons specifically designed to target you.

00:54:26.000 I'll say for myself, they don't need to do much research. 0.96

00:54:28.000 You could take me out pretty fucking easy.

00:54:31.000 I think it's just...

00:54:32.000 To know that they have them for everybody.

00:54:35.000 Anybody that might be a bit of a problem. 0.99

00:54:36.000 It's creepy as fuck. 0.99

00:54:37.000 Oh, it's very creepy. 0.99

00:54:38.000 Even just like the...

00:54:39.000 Was it the Cambridge Analytica stuff?

00:54:41.000 Just the stuff they have on you.

00:54:42.000 You're like, yeah, this is not good.

00:54:44.000 It's just the tip of the iceberg.

00:54:46.000 Yeah, but then I also think of it in terms of podcasts. 0.99

00:54:49.000 We're like, if we log this many hours, we're not going to get canceled because there's too much shit to pull from. 0.98

00:54:55.000 Right. 0.98

00:54:55.000 So I look at it the same way. 0.98

00:54:57.000 I'm like, if you have this much of everybody...

00:54:59.000 Maybe we're all okay.

00:55:00.000 Well, think about podcasts. 1.00

00:55:02.000 We've said awful shit. 1.00

00:55:03.000 We have said awful shit in these little clips, but we've also said not awful shit. 1.00

00:55:10.000 Way more. 1.00

00:55:10.000 Thousands and thousands of hours, and we're comedians. 1.00

00:55:14.000 Yeah.

00:55:14.000 So people go, yeah, but what was the whole conversation like?

00:55:18.000 Why did Shane say that?

00:55:20.000 Why did Joe say that?

00:55:21.000 Why'd they say that?

00:55:22.000 Well, it's because people now get it. 0.97

00:55:25.000 Why did Shane call me a dirty Jew? 0.96

00:55:27.000 Because the Knicks beat the Sixers. 0.97

00:55:28.000 That's why. 1.00

00:55:29.000 Suck it, Shane. 1.00

00:55:30.000 Sorry, dude. 1.00

00:55:31.000 Go Knicks.

00:55:33.000 In the moment, it had to be okay.

00:55:36.000 But I think people realize that now.

00:55:38.000 I saw him two nights ago in Nashville.

00:55:40.000 It's like a video game, getting away from Shane.

00:55:43.000 Because you can't get away unscathed.

00:55:45.000 I'm like, dude, I'm so hungover.

00:55:47.000 I'd done Kill Tony the night before.

00:55:49.000 I was in Nashville.

00:55:50.000 The big boss.

00:55:51.000 Yeah, I'm just like trying to get away from him.

00:55:53.000 He's like, you need one more drink to kill that hangover.

00:55:55.000 I'm like, I'm good.

00:55:56.000 But then he talks between him and Joe DeRosa.

00:55:58.000 I'm like, this is like the two bosses.

00:56:00.000 Yeah.

00:56:00.000 And I'm like, Joe, you're 46. For fuck's sake, stop doing shots.

00:56:05.000 You're smoking Marlboro Reds and doing shots. 1.00

00:56:07.000 You're 40 fucking six. 0.99

00:56:08.000 Yeah, and he's not a healthy 46 either. 0.99

00:56:09.000 He's not like doing marathons.

00:56:12.000 When we're in here with do Protect Our Park, Shane's always the one with the beer bong.

00:56:15.000 He's like, dude, it's time.

00:56:17.000 It's time. 0.99

00:56:18.000 You see that big fucking meaty hand reaching across? 0.98

00:56:20.000 The problem with guys like Shane, for me, is I still enjoy drinking, and I like the buzz that builds gradually. 0.99

00:56:26.000 I don't like just getting super fucked up. 0.96

00:56:28.000 I like getting fucked up over the course of the night, but I like building to it. 0.99

00:56:32.000 I like the build. 1.00

00:56:34.000 And Shane drinks like a 19-year-old.

00:56:36.000 He does, but he drinks Bud Lights, which is the calculated move if you're going to drink a lot.

00:56:40.000 That's the Stanhope move, too.

00:56:42.000 I know.

00:56:42.000 Stanhope does cocktails now, but for the longest time, Stanhope drank light beer.

00:56:46.000 He goes, I like a light beer because I can just start it early, just keep a nice slow burn.

00:56:51.000 Dude, you're pretty good at impressions.

00:56:52.000 That's okay.

00:56:53.000 That's not bad.

00:56:54.000 If I talk to him, if I'm around him, I can do him better.

00:56:57.000 I love him.

00:56:58.000 I was such a fan of his. 0.54

00:57:01.000 I still am, but I remember those old albums, like Something to Take the Edge Off and shit. 0.87

00:57:06.000 Oh, he's great. 0.97

00:57:06.000 Oh my God, that Bobby Barnett story, Doug Stanhope. 0.97

00:57:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:57:09.000 It's just a I fuck the chick story, but it's not. 0.99

00:57:13.000 It's got layers, and there's Henry Phillips playing the bass in the background. 0.99

00:57:17.000 Stanhope is like, and he's so cool. 0.99

00:57:19.000 He's such a cool fucking guy. 0.98

00:57:21.000 He really is that guy. 0.99

00:57:22.000 That's not an act.

00:57:23.000 He is like, Attell always says he's the closest we have to Bill Hicks.

00:57:28.000 Yeah.

00:57:29.000 But he's a different thing, you know?

00:57:31.000 He's just...

00:57:31.000 He's his own thing, you know?

00:57:33.000 It's like...

00:57:34.000 For sure.

00:57:35.000 He's Doug Stanhope, you know?

00:57:37.000 For sure.

00:57:38.000 He inspired a lot of Stanhope wannabes.

00:57:41.000 Oh, dude, the mics?

00:57:42.000 So I'm a different generation of you in stand-up, but, like, I remember the guys who were getting...

00:57:46.000 Like, when I was coming up, the guys getting ripped off at the mics were Mitch Hedberg, Dane Cook, a little bit of Burr, a little...

00:57:53.000 There's some Burr...

00:57:53.000 I mean, obviously Lou...

00:57:54.000 A lot of Attell.

00:57:55.000 I mean, I'm one of them. 0.98

00:57:56.000 Let's fucking be honest. 0.99

00:57:57.000 Like... 0.99

00:57:58.000 We all know who we...

00:57:59.000 I remember Norman and I would laugh talking about...

00:58:02.000 He's like, I'm like a Norm Macdonald, Jerry Seinfeld thing. 0.89

00:58:05.000 And I was like, I fucking was obsessed with Dangerfield, Natal.

00:58:08.000 So it was like, you know, and then... 0.54

00:58:10.000 Do you see the handwritten notes we have in the green room?

00:58:13.000 I love them.

00:58:13.000 Dude, I love the green room.

00:58:14.000 Isn't that incredible?

00:58:15.000 It's so cool. 0.96

00:58:15.000 No, I love comedy history shit like that. 0.96

00:58:17.000 But those are from his wife. 0.99

00:58:18.000 His wife gave them to us.

00:58:19.000 I talked to her on the phone.

00:58:22.000 After Whitney's podcast, we were doing the same show.

00:58:26.000 And she's like, do you want to talk to...

00:58:27.000 She knows I love Rodney, so she's like, do you want to...

00:58:29.000 Do you want to talk to Joan Dangerfield?

00:58:31.000 I was like, yes!

00:58:32.000 So she calls me, or she calls Joan Dangerfield, and Joan picks up the phone, and I'm like, oh, I loved your husband so much.

00:58:42.000 Back to School was my favorite movie ever, and I love his stand-up, his Carson appearances.

00:58:47.000 I'm obsessed with Dangerfield.

00:58:48.000 And she's like, you want to hear a Dangerfield joke no one's ever heard?

00:58:51.000 And I said, Yeah. 0.99

00:58:53.000 When he was going under for a big operation, he was like, fuck, I might not make it, and if I don't have my mind, I don't want to be alive. 0.99

00:59:00.000 That's all I have. 0.99

00:59:01.000 I'm a comic.

00:59:02.000 And he comes out of it, and the doctor goes, did you cough anything up? 0.99

00:59:05.000 And he goes, yeah, 500 last week to a whore. 0.99

00:59:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:10.000 He woke up with a fucking joke. 1.00

00:59:13.000 So cool. 1.00

00:59:14.000 I love shit. 1.00

00:59:15.000 Back to School to me is like the best comfort watch ever because it's like, it's only every character serves to set up his stand-up. 1.00

00:59:23.000 His wife's like, you're impossible. 1.00

00:59:24.000 Oh yeah?

00:59:25.000 And you're easy. 1.00

00:59:27.000 It's all just perfect fucking jokes. 1.00

00:59:29.000 You're tall and fat. 1.00

00:59:31.000 Yeah, well you're short and ugly. 0.99

00:59:34.000 You remember the scene with, I think about the scene because it's been ripped off so much, but when they're getting, it's like Burt Young is so funny in that movie too, but when they're getting drunk at the bar, it's like young Robert Downey Jr. who's like hilarious in it too, and they're bringing them pictures, bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out,

00:59:50.000 then bring us one every ten.

00:59:53.000 Like, you can't be more fun than that, you know?

00:59:55.000 No, he was great.

00:59:56.000 I saw him live when I was a security guard.

00:59:59.000 Whoa, where?

01:00:00.000 I was a security guard at Great Woods. 1.00

01:00:02.000 No shit. 0.99

01:00:02.000 Great Woods is a concert place in Mansfield, Massachusetts. 0.99

01:00:07.000 And I was working security there.

01:00:10.000 And I was 19 years old.

01:00:12.000 And I got to see a lot of people there.

01:00:14.000 I got to see Bill Cosby there.

01:00:18.000 Wow.

01:00:18.000 I bet that was a good show.

01:00:20.000 It was a good show.

01:00:21.000 I saw Bon Jovi there.

01:00:22.000 Nice.

01:00:23.000 I was barely paying attention to Bill Cosby because I was trying to pick up this girl.

01:00:27.000 I was doing a lot of chatting.

01:00:28.000 I missed a lot of the comedy part.

01:00:29.000 But this was before I decided I was going to be a comedian.

01:00:31.000 Good for you having to work to pick up a woman at a Cosby show.

01:00:38.000 You said a good example for the future.

01:00:39.000 So I was backstage.

01:00:42.000 There was this back area and Rodney was back there and Rodney was wearing a bathrobe.

01:00:48.000 He had nothing on but a bathrobe.

01:00:51.000 Just naked in a bathrobe with slippers and he goes on stage like that.

01:00:56.000 That's how he'd go on stage. 0.99

01:00:58.000 He'd go on stage balls-ass naked with a bathrobe on and slippers and just murder. 0.98

01:01:04.000 So he went through this phase of his career towards the end where he would go on stage in a bathrobe and he's just balls naked with a bathrobe on. 0.98

01:01:15.000 It's so weird.

01:01:15.000 And he would be backstage hanging out with people.

01:01:17.000 His balls would be hanging out. 0.98

01:01:18.000 He didn't even care. 1.00

01:01:19.000 Apparently he had this giant dick and these huge balls. 1.00

01:01:22.000 And they'd just be hanging out. 1.00

01:01:23.000 And Rodney would just be smoking joints and hanging out backstage with everybody.

01:01:27.000 Once your 80-plus is kind of adorable.

01:01:28.000 80-plus and super wealthy and famous.

01:01:31.000 And he's doing this enormous theater.

01:01:34.000 It's like this place where Bon Jovi does.

01:01:37.000 In Mansfield, Massachusetts.

01:01:39.000 It's a huge performing arts place.

01:01:41.000 He was the best, man.

01:01:42.000 My mom got me a DVD set of his for my birthday when I was a kid, and it was like, I loved it.

01:01:46.000 It was like...

01:01:47.000 Yeah, look, see?

01:01:48.000 Oh my God.

01:01:49.000 See, he would hang out with... 1.00

01:01:50.000 He's got a fucking sock over his dick. 1.00

01:01:52.000 And he's just got the serious face on. 1.00

01:01:54.000 It's perfect.

01:01:54.000 Oh, dude, look at the back-to-school robe, too.

01:01:56.000 It's fucking perfect. 0.95

01:01:57.000 Dude, the score for that movie, too, Danny Elfman, like... 0.99

01:02:00.000 It's so cheerful.

01:02:03.000 But, yeah, he...

01:02:04.000 On the DVD set, it's kind of sad.

01:02:07.000 There's a set when he's really old, and he's in Vegas...

01:02:10.000 And they're not good.

01:02:11.000 The crowd's not good.

01:02:12.000 He's kind of struggling. 0.99

01:02:13.000 But there's a moment where he just is like, fuck it, and just rattles off so many in a row, so many great one-liners. 0.99

01:02:20.000 And they start to pick up, and they start giving an applause break, and he just pauses. 1.00

01:02:23.000 He goes, I know a lot of good fucking jokes. 0.99

01:02:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:02:26.000 It's such a triumphant moment. 0.99

01:02:28.000 You're like 80 years old. 1.00

01:02:29.000 He's just like fuck you. 1.00

01:02:30.000 I'm a store. 0.99

01:02:30.000 I'm still a pro I met him at the laugh factory like many many years later after I'd seen him when I was a you know security guard I was a just Just moved to Hollywood like 94 and he was there and he was still doing like a little bit of stand-up and he showed up and And I met him there with his wife. 0.99

01:02:47.000 I don't know if it's the same wife.

01:02:49.000 He was always moving around.

01:02:51.000 But he was, you know, it was interesting just to see him.

01:02:54.000 It was just weird.

01:02:55.000 Was he cool?

01:02:56.000 Yeah, he was real friendly.

01:02:57.000 Hey, what do you know?

01:02:58.000 You know, it was like... 0.97

01:02:59.000 He used to get fucked up with a comic strip. 0.98

01:03:01.000 Yeah? 0.95

01:03:02.000 Because his club, Dangerfields, in the city, they'd be like, why are you always doing drugs here?

01:03:05.000 He's like, what am I gonna do, drugs at my club? 1.00

01:03:07.000 You know, it's like, fuck you, I'm doing drugs here. 1.00

01:03:09.000 But, uh... 1.00

01:03:11.000 I mean, that was...

01:03:12.000 I never really played Dangerfields.

01:03:14.000 It was like a bad club by the time I came around.

01:03:16.000 It was a bad club when I played it.

01:03:17.000 I loved it.

01:03:18.000 Might have just always been a bad club.

01:03:20.000 It was always a bad club.

01:03:21.000 It was a good club when he did the Young Comedian special from there, when he did Rodney's Young Comedian special.

01:03:28.000 Those were great.

01:03:28.000 Amazing.

01:03:29.000 Dude, I remember the lineup.

01:03:30.000 Dude, it's like Robert Schimmel, Bill Hicks.

01:03:33.000 Yeah, dude.

01:03:33.000 Lenny Clark.

01:03:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:03:35.000 Bill Hicks had a set on there that I was like, this is fucking epic. 0.99

01:03:38.000 Robert Schimmel, I still remember the joke he opened with because it's such a good fucking joke where he opens with this joke. 0.99

01:03:43.000 He goes, I heard a guy got arrested for animal necrophilia. 0.95

01:03:46.000 How do you plead for that?

01:03:47.000 I'm sorry, Your Honor. 0.99

01:03:48.000 I thought the cat was alive while I was fucking it. 0.99

01:03:51.000 That's a, chew open with a fucking a dead cat joke and crush? 1.00

01:03:57.000 No, he was a beast. 1.00

01:03:58.000 I love Robert Schimmel's stuff.

01:03:59.000 Yeah, Robert Schimmel was amazing.

01:04:01.000 He was amazing.

01:04:01.000 Those old comedian specials really got me into comedy.

01:04:04.000 Those were like really...

01:04:05.000 Oh, yeah, man.

01:04:06.000 They were the way you found out about, like Rick Dukumann.

01:04:09.000 That's the way you found out about people.

01:04:10.000 Oh, he was hilarious.

01:04:11.000 Yeah, he was an L.A. guy that for whatever reason never made it.

01:04:15.000 You know, but he was funny on the young comedian special.

01:04:18.000 I was like, man, this guy's good.

01:04:20.000 I remember those lineups. 1.00

01:04:21.000 They were just fucking beasts. 1.00

01:04:22.000 They were all killers. 1.00

01:04:24.000 They were good comics in there. 1.00

01:04:26.000 Fucking Dice coming out with the smoke. 0.99

01:04:28.000 Bob Nelson with the football helmet on. 1.00

01:04:30.000 I remember that shit. 1.00

01:04:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:32.000 Dom Herrera.

01:04:33.000 Oh, I love him.

01:04:34.000 Jerry Seinfeld.

01:04:35.000 So many comics came out of those Young Comedian specials.

01:04:37.000 Rodney was the gatekeeper.

01:04:39.000 He really cared about comedy, and he really wanted young comics to get ahead.

01:04:43.000 You're doing that, dude.

01:04:44.000 Yeah, I learned a lot of it from him.

01:04:46.000 That's one of the reasons why having his handwritten notes on the wall of the green room means a lot to me.

01:04:53.000 Because I kind of think about it the same way.

01:04:55.000 I know about so many comedians because Rodney Dangerfield was generous and he wanted people to know about great comics.

01:05:01.000 He didn't feel threatened by them.

01:05:03.000 He wanted them to do well.

01:05:04.000 I still remember his intro for Bill Hicks on that special where he goes, This next comic, he's so far ahead of his time, his parents haven't even met yet.

01:05:11.000 Give it up for Bill Hicks.

01:05:12.000 I'm like, dude, you found jokes in the intros?

01:05:15.000 Yeah.

01:05:15.000 That's how good he was.

01:05:16.000 And it's accurate. 0.78

01:05:17.000 But you're also, like, you created this place.

01:05:20.000 It must feel cool to see these young comics, like...

01:05:23.000 Finding themselves. 0.99

01:05:24.000 It's like fucking cool. 0.98

01:05:25.000 Yeah, it is cool. 0.99

01:05:26.000 It's real cool.

01:05:27.000 I enjoy it.

01:05:28.000 I mean, it's selfish too.

01:05:29.000 You build a good culture.

01:05:31.000 It is so similar to sports where like you see there can be a talented rookie, but he's on a team with no good vets.

01:05:38.000 Mm-hmm And he ain't gonna be good.

01:05:39.000 Because you need someone to guide you.

01:05:41.000 I was very fortunate that I had good comics looking out for me when I was a young comic.

01:05:45.000 And the culture in New York is also strong.

01:05:47.000 I mean, like, you know, Colin, Quinn, and Dave Attell, when I was young, were very like, oh, this is how you be a comedian. 0.99

01:05:54.000 You keep turning over new shit.

01:05:58.000 I'm on the early shows a lot at the Comedy Cellar, and I'm usually following either Colin or Jim Norton, and they're so prolific. 0.99

01:06:06.000 They're just always taking chances. 0.99

01:06:08.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:06:10.000 They give a fuck, but they don't give a fuck in the right way. 1.00

01:06:13.000 Where they're like, if this doesn't work, I'm gonna make it work. 1.00

01:06:16.000 They're doing, like, Jim's new shit is so interesting. 0.99

01:06:19.000 It's so good. 0.99

01:06:21.000 I mean, but it's all, like, veteran leadership, and it all bleeds down alike.

01:06:26.000 Yes.

01:06:27.000 And then we want to do that for the next generation.

01:06:29.000 Like, I want the, I want, I'm excited when I see funny young comics.

01:06:34.000 Yeah.

01:06:34.000 Yeah, me too.

01:06:35.000 There's young comics at the cellar, like Maddie Wiener is a fucking killer. 1.00

01:06:38.000 Like, she's a young comic who's, you know, there's like Ethan Simmons Patterson, Daniel Simonson, they're like young fucking killers at the cellar, and you're like, oh fuck, I used to be the guy who would go up and kill, and now I'm like, fuck, I gotta turn over jokes. 0.99

01:06:52.000 And then they're going to become like, you know, it's all good for the culture, you know? 0.99

01:06:56.000 It is.

01:06:57.000 It's good for the culture and it's good for us.

01:06:59.000 It's good for you selfishly to be generous because those people that are coming up, the better they do, the more it's going to fuel you and you're going to do better.

01:07:07.000 It's good for everybody.

01:07:08.000 It's important.

01:07:13.000 It keeps everybody strong.

01:07:14.000 And that's the club. 0.98

01:07:15.000 I mean, like, last night we're hanging out with Ron White, this fucking Brian Simpson, Tony Hinchgrove. 0.97

01:07:20.000 I've never met him. 0.97

01:07:20.000 I'm a fan. 0.97

01:07:21.000 Oh, he's the best.

01:07:22.000 He's such a nice guy.

01:07:23.000 He was very nice.

01:07:23.000 He made fun of me for being a Knicks fan, but other than that, he was pretty cool.

01:07:26.000 That kid Ari Matty from Estonia opened up. 1.00

01:07:29.000 He's a fucking killer. 1.00

01:07:29.000 I talked to him for a while. 1.00

01:07:30.000 Yeah, we chatted for a bit. 1.00

01:07:31.000 Fucking killer. 1.00

01:07:32.000 Super smart. 1.00

01:07:33.000 Yeah.

01:07:33.000 You know, and he's one of these young, hungry dogs that's coming up, and there's a gang of them at that club.

01:07:39.000 There's people moving there from all over the place like Tyler Fisher and all these other people.

01:07:44.000 Tony Cusillis.

01:07:45.000 Yeah, Tony Cusillis.

01:07:46.000 He opened for me at Hyenas the weekend I got banned there.

01:07:48.000 That's where we met.

01:07:49.000 You got banned?

01:07:50.000 I've been banned from a couple clubs.

01:07:51.000 I don't get it.

01:07:52.000 What did you do?

01:07:52.000 My act!

01:07:54.000 That's what my agent goes.

01:07:54.000 What did you do?

01:07:55.000 My jokes?

01:07:57.000 No, they were starting the show like an hour late every night. 0.98

01:07:59.000 And it's like when you have a 10.30 show and you're starting at 11.30, I'm kind of like, guys, come on, fucking turn it around. 0.99

01:08:04.000 And then they were doing like blowjob shots on stage. 0.99

01:08:07.000 They bring people from the crowd. 0.99

01:08:08.000 I'm like, dude, you just fucking, please just bring me on. 0.97

01:08:10.000 I was like, it's like I'm going on 12.30 every night. 1.00

01:08:12.000 Who's doing the blowjob shots? 1.00

01:08:14.000 The club did that. 0.99

01:08:15.000 Oh, gosh.

01:08:16.000 So they're trying to encourage people to drink?

01:08:17.000 Yeah, which I'm fine with.

01:08:18.000 I want the club to make money. 0.97

01:08:20.000 I'll drink on stage and be like, fucking have a drink with me. 0.97

01:08:23.000 I'll even do a shot with the crowd sometimes. 1.00

01:08:25.000 I don't give a shit, but you gotta stop delaying the show so much with nonsense. 0.99

01:08:31.000 And then I remember I made fun of the logo, the hyena's logo, just fucking having fun with it. 1.00

01:08:38.000 And he came to my room, he goes, we're a fucking family business. 0.99

01:08:41.000 And I was like, I made fun of a hyena. 0.99

01:08:43.000 What am I doing to your family?

01:08:45.000 I don't know.

01:08:46.000 It was a hyena and a tux.

01:08:47.000 And then like two weeks later, someone sent me, they changed the logo.

01:08:53.000 But I remember Tony was like, he was like, we had fun.

01:08:56.000 We were laughing a lot.

01:08:57.000 So how did they get you banned? 0.99

01:08:59.000 I made fun of the club and shit on stage. 0.99

01:09:02.000 I was joking. 1.00

01:09:02.000 I was like, blowjob shots. 1.00

01:09:04.000 I'm joking around. 0.99

01:09:05.000 I'm not being harsh, but I'm fucking around. 0.92

01:09:07.000 He emailed my agent at the time and he was like, if you don't drop Sam as a client, I will never book one of your clients again. 0.96

01:09:14.000 I wasn't a huge act.

01:09:16.000 And he said...

01:09:22.000 And he said, three clubs you own, too. 1.00

01:09:25.000 So I'm like, oh, so now you're putting me in a position where I'm an asshole. 0.99

01:09:28.000 So my agent called me like, what did you do? 0.99

01:09:30.000 And I was like, nothing.

01:09:33.000 And then she was not as supportive as she should have been to me. 1.00

01:09:37.000 She should have been like, fuck you. 1.00

01:09:39.000 He's doing his jokes. 1.00

01:09:41.000 But she was like, this is what you do.

01:09:44.000 Because I did the same thing at the Syracuse Funny Bum.

01:09:47.000 What happened with this?

01:09:48.000 How did it resolve?

01:09:49.000 It didn't.

01:09:50.000 I was just like, I'm not gonna write him an apology.

01:09:51.000 I'll apologize if I do something wrong, happily.

01:09:54.000 I'm not like, I don't have an ego in that way where like, if I fuck up, I'll totally be like, hey, I'm really sorry.

01:09:58.000 But did they have anything specific that they were saying to your agent?

01:10:01.000 I disrespected the club.

01:10:03.000 Am I making fun of the hyena logo? 0.99

01:10:05.000 It's like you do blowjob shots, dude. 1.00

01:10:06.000 What are you fucking talking about disrespecting our club? 1.00

01:10:08.000 Disrespecting our sacred institution. 0.99

01:10:10.000 Dude, it always...

01:10:11.000 Egos. 0.96

01:10:11.000 What I like about your club is like, I always find as a young comic, you don't get the love you deserve at your home club usually. 0.96

01:10:19.000 Right.

01:10:19.000 Because they see you as like a door guy or like...

01:10:23.000 Right, that's where you started.

01:10:24.000 But...

01:10:24.000 I think you do raise people up there, which I don't think is normal.

01:10:29.000 I think New York Comedy Club in New York does that a little bit, where they kind of develop young guys, which I think is good.

01:10:35.000 But I do think it's right.

01:10:36.000 Comicship is where I started, dude.

01:10:38.000 I still have love for the club, but they didn't really build us up.

01:10:41.000 They kind of took pleasure in keeping us down a little bit.

01:10:45.000 They would do lottery shows to us. 0.99

01:10:47.000 They recorded me one fucking week. 0.99

01:10:49.000 Like, you want to audition for the main spots, you got to be on like an America's Got Talent type show. 1.00

01:10:53.000 And I'm like, you're fucked. 0.99

01:10:54.000 By the way, just auditioning for the late night back then, I remember I auditioned. 1.00

01:10:59.000 So you do a lottery.

01:11:00.000 It's like over 100 comics, which sounds like nothing now.

01:11:03.000 But in the day, it was like, you know.

01:11:05.000 And I remember I auditioned.

01:11:07.000 I draw six out of six.

01:11:08.000 So you're going on after the regular show.

01:11:10.000 It's like an eight o'clock show.

01:11:11.000 The next show starts at 10.30, same crowd.

01:11:14.000 And I draw six out of six. 0.99

01:11:15.000 I'm like, fuck, I'm going on at like 11. They're gonna be tired. 0.99

01:11:17.000 I hope these comics don't suck so they walk the crowd. 1.00

01:11:20.000 And the guy who goes on before me has a fucking nervous breakdown on stage. 1.00

01:11:25.000 Ah! 0.99

01:11:25.000 So I'm not making this up. 0.99

01:11:27.000 On stage he goes, I'm fucking bad at this. 0.99

01:11:31.000 Oh my god, I'm fucking bombing. 0.99

01:11:33.000 And I watched him walk 70 out of the 80 people for my audition. 0.99

01:11:37.000 And I'm like, I gotta go on for 10 people now.

01:11:39.000 This is crazy.

01:11:40.000 And I just went on and the owner walked up to me and he's like...

01:11:44.000 I mean, the bar was low at that point.

01:11:46.000 He's like, you didn't walk the last 10, good job.

01:11:49.000 But he was like, you didn't panic, so I'll put you on for late night.

01:11:53.000 But then for the regular spots, they were like, you gotta... 1.00

01:11:57.000 They fuck with you. 1.00

01:11:58.000 My point is, your club, I feel like... 1.00

01:12:00.000 And some of the fucking with is good. 1.00

01:12:03.000 It is good because it makes you like, how bad do you want this shit? 1.00

01:12:06.000 Right. 0.99

01:12:06.000 So I think to a certain point, the hazing can be good. 0.99

01:12:09.000 But also, it's a new generation.

01:12:12.000 It's different.

01:12:14.000 The hazing is probably good because it weeds out the people that aren't going to have the gumption to push forward and get through bad sets.

01:12:21.000 Totally.

01:12:23.000 And I used to tell comics all the time, be nice to club owners.

01:12:27.000 Because you don't want to be one of them.

01:12:29.000 I always say that.

01:12:30.000 And then I want to become one of them.

01:12:31.000 But I always said that because they're different than us.

01:12:35.000 We need them.

01:12:36.000 We're not going to go do that. 1.00

01:12:37.000 We're not going to go open up a fucking club. 0.99

01:12:39.000 So you need these people. 0.99

01:12:40.000 So it's just like there's an adversarial relationship. 0.98

01:12:43.000 You feel like they're fucking you on the money or they're lying about it being sold out or whatever it is where you're not getting what you deserve. 0.94

01:12:49.000 But that's in the beginning, usually. 0.98

01:12:51.000 In the beginning, yeah.

01:12:51.000 Once you become undeniable, then they have to pay you, right?

01:12:54.000 But The thing is, it's like there's a separation between the people that do it and the business, and that's where all the friction comes from.

01:13:03.000 In my club, there's no separation from the people that do it and the business, because the people that do it own it.

01:13:08.000 And it's all of ours.

01:13:10.000 Like, the way I refer to it, I don't refer to it as my club.

01:13:13.000 I refer to it as our club.

01:13:14.000 This is our club.

01:13:15.000 That's cool.

01:13:16.000 This club is set up for comedians.

01:13:17.000 It was never set up to make any money.

01:13:19.000 The whole concept about it was, I just want to make something where I don't lose money.

01:13:24.000 I just want to break even.

01:13:25.000 If I break even, I'll be super happy.

01:13:27.000 It's not a money-making venture at all.

01:13:29.000 So the money structure is different.

01:13:32.000 The comedians get most of the money, and there's plenty of money for the bar, and there's plenty of money for the waitstaff.

01:13:38.000 There's plenty of money for everybody.

01:13:39.000 It's just you can't be greedy.

01:13:40.000 And in most environments, the club makes most of the money, and the comedians don't, until a certain level.

01:13:46.000 And then they get the door, like big comics, big names, where they sell out anywhere and it's like a good thing to have them at your club.

01:13:52.000 And then clubs make a deal.

01:13:53.000 But they're still making money.

01:13:54.000 They're just not making an insane amount of money. 0.99

01:13:56.000 But my point was, the comedians do all of the fucking work. 0.97

01:14:01.000 If it wasn't, we're selling the comedians. 0.98

01:14:03.000 We're not selling, we're selling drinks to see the comedians.

01:14:06.000 But that's not, I don't think that's the normal mindset.

01:14:08.000 Like, I can't tell how often I'd be at a club and I hear the drink shake and I'm like, I'm here to move drinks.

01:14:14.000 That's the business part.

01:14:16.000 That's because the people that own that business aren't comedians.

01:14:18.000 But it's funny that that's the best way to make a business, is to make a business where you just do it the best way to express the art form.

01:14:26.000 There's a lot of great clubs, too.

01:14:28.000 I don't want to sound here like I'm...

01:14:30.000 No, I love clubs.

01:14:31.000 Comedy Works in Denver? 0.99

01:14:33.000 Hilarities in Cleveland, I fucking love them. 0.97

01:14:35.000 Shout out Nick and Sam. 0.99

01:14:37.000 Wise Guys in Salt Lake is fucking beautiful. 0.99

01:14:40.000 Wise Guys in Salt Lake is fucking incredible. 0.99

01:14:41.000 Acme. 0.99

01:14:42.000 There's a lot.

01:14:43.000 There's so many great clubs.

01:14:44.000 I'm forgetting a million right now.

01:14:45.000 Listen, I'm forgetting a million too, but I love them.

01:14:47.000 And I love comedy clubs.

01:14:49.000 I really do love just...

01:14:52.000 I really don't really respect comics who don't tour. 0.98

01:14:55.000 I can tell when you're special if you didn't fucking tour with it. 0.99

01:15:00.000 I can tell if you, like, I did New York and LA, and I was like, here, you gotta take that shit to Chattanooga and Knoxville and fucking... 0.99

01:15:08.000 Also, when you're doing New York and LA, you're doing, like, 15-minute sets. 0.99

01:15:11.000 I know.

01:15:11.000 But, you know, I mean, like, they do an hour there.

01:15:13.000 But, like, you gotta just take it...

01:15:15.000 You gotta sludge it through the mud.

01:15:16.000 This is something I always talk about with, like, Gaffigan, you know, all those, like, New York guys would be like, you gotta tour, you gotta...

01:15:21.000 They really emphasize, like...

01:15:23.000 Cut the fat, dude.

01:15:24.000 Yeah.

01:15:25.000 Yeah, cut the fat and then see how different people in different places react to it.

01:15:29.000 Because your act is going to go over different in San Francisco than it is in Florida.

01:15:33.000 I know.

01:15:33.000 It just is.

01:15:34.000 It just is. 0.99

01:15:34.000 But both are fucking great. 0.99

01:15:36.000 Both are fucking great. 0.99

01:15:37.000 You know, like, Tampa, for whatever reason, has been the side splitters, you know? 0.98

01:15:41.000 They've always been fucking really good, you know? 0.59

01:15:44.000 Did you ever make up with hyenas? 0.99

01:15:46.000 Never.

01:15:46.000 I'd be happy to.

01:15:48.000 I'd be happy to.

01:15:49.000 If you're listening, hyenas, I'm sorry for what I might have done.

01:15:52.000 The one in Dallas is supposed to be awesome.

01:15:53.000 I don't know.

01:15:54.000 You probably just gave them the right direction. 1.00

01:15:56.000 Get rid of your stupid fucking hyena. 1.00

01:15:59.000 Get out of here with your logo. 1.00

01:16:01.000 If someone can make fun of it and it hurts your feelings, you got a dumb logo. 1.00

01:16:05.000 I don't give a shit either. 1.00

01:16:07.000 What am I going to hold a grudge against hyenas? 1.00

01:16:09.000 I don't give a shit. 0.99

01:16:10.000 You shouldn't hold a grudge against that guy that wanted you to get dropped by your agent. 0.99

01:16:12.000 That guy could have ruined your career.

01:16:13.000 Pretty classless.

01:16:14.000 Pretty classless. 1.00

01:16:15.000 That's such a shit move. 1.00

01:16:17.000 That guy could ruin your career. 1.00

01:16:17.000 I didn't have a lot of juice. 1.00

01:16:19.000 To be told I fucked up. 1.00

01:16:22.000 I'm a little bum that she told me I kind of fucked up. 0.99

01:16:24.000 I'm like, you know I didn't. 0.98

01:16:25.000 You know I'm like...

01:16:27.000 I'm not a diva, dude.

01:16:28.000 I'm one of your dudes who, like, happily do 45 weeks a year on the road.

01:16:32.000 I'm like, I'm out there.

01:16:33.000 I'm happy to do this. 1.00

01:16:35.000 Yeah, you're making money off me, stupid. 1.00

01:16:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:16:37.000 I have my back.

01:16:38.000 Not a ton at the time, but I was out there working.

01:16:40.000 A little bit.

01:16:40.000 Yeah, enough.

01:16:40.000 Well, let's kind of think, like, it's like a young athlete.

01:16:43.000 Like, if they keep going, they're going to eventually make it into the majors, and they're going to make money.

01:16:47.000 I think of it in sports analogies, like, always.

01:16:50.000 That's just how I always, because I love sports.

01:16:52.000 Also, sports is another thing like comedy.

01:16:54.000 Like, there's no guarantee.

01:16:55.000 You may make it.

01:16:56.000 You may not make it.

01:16:57.000 It's hard.

01:16:58.000 Instead of carrying an ACL, it's like drug problem.

01:17:01.000 Drug problems, girlfriend problems.

01:17:03.000 There's so many things that can go wrong with you. 0.60

01:17:05.000 Mental health problems.

01:17:06.000 There's so many things that can get wrong.

01:17:08.000 And also, it's so not guaranteed that you're going to keep coming up with ideas. 0.79

01:17:12.000 Oh, dude, this is my sixth hour of jokes that I just burned, and I'm like, I'm fucking tired.

01:17:17.000 I'm like, my mind is tired. 0.58

01:17:18.000 I just don't feel like I have it.

01:17:20.000 I never feel like I have it after this.

01:17:22.000 It's really hard to keep doing this.

01:17:23.000 But it's a constant process. 0.87

01:17:25.000 It's a privilege to deal with this challenge, but it is fucking, like, I'm like, wow, I don't feel funny most of the time. 0.93

01:17:31.000 You'll come up with it just like Shane was saying that after his last special. 0.97

01:17:35.000 Now the stuff he's doing now is arguably the funniest shit I've ever seen from him. 0.97

01:17:38.000 It's just how it always is. 0.99

01:17:39.000 I like my new shit, but I don't really like it. 0.99

01:17:41.000 It's gonna take time. 1.00

01:17:42.000 It's a five-year-old kid right now.

01:17:44.000 It's not a 25-year-old man crashing through the front line. 1.00

01:17:48.000 It is a five-year-old kid trying to entertain a fucking room full of drunks. 1.00

01:17:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:52.000 Ain't lasting long.

01:17:53.000 Well, it's just, you have bambi legs. 1.00

01:17:55.000 Your jokes have little bambi legs. 1.00

01:17:57.000 They're all awkward and shit. 1.00

01:17:59.000 They're not moving that good yet. 0.99

01:18:01.000 It's so true. 0.84

01:18:01.000 It is cool, though. 0.84

01:18:06.000 It's more fun to be in the creative mode. 0.99

01:18:08.000 Because when I'm about to tape and I'm killing, I'm like, I'm a fucking hack. 0.98

01:18:12.000 Because you know it works. 1.00

01:18:13.000 Who gives a shit? 0.99

01:18:14.000 Yeah, it's supposed to work. 1.00

01:18:16.000 It's too easy.

01:18:16.000 Yeah, you're like, this should work.

01:18:18.000 But then when you're struggling a little bit, you're like, this is fucking, this is comedy. 0.80

01:18:22.000 Yeah, and then when you struggle, and then you come up with a new punchline, a new tagline, I just added a new tag to one of my bits that makes me laugh, and it just came out of the blue. 0.92

01:18:33.000 It's a good feeling.

01:18:34.000 One night, sitting in front of the computer, I'm going over my material, I'm like, oh, like this, this is it.

01:18:39.000 And I add that in, then I add it on stage the next day, and then Tony's like, when did that come from?

01:18:44.000 I'm like, I wrote it last night.

01:18:45.000 When your friend notices the best feeling.

01:18:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:18:47.000 Yeah, Norman watched me the other night, and he was like, That fucking Anne Frank line. 0.99

01:18:51.000 I was like, it's a new line. 0.99

01:18:52.000 The new stuff.

01:18:52.000 Yeah.

01:18:53.000 New stuff is a golden gift from the cosmos.

01:18:56.000 New stuff's amazing.

01:18:58.000 It's so weird when it hits you in the middle of the night, too. 0.97

01:18:59.000 You just wake up in the middle of the night, you just stumble over to a fucking phone, voice memo, fall right back asleep. 0.99

01:19:05.000 Yes. 1.00

01:19:05.000 You gotta do it. 1.00

01:19:06.000 Oh, always. 0.99

01:19:07.000 And it's 90% of the time it's shit, but for that 10%, you have to just do it. 0.98

01:19:12.000 There's been way too many times where I convinced myself that I would remember it, and I didn't remember it. 0.98

01:19:15.000 I know. 0.98

01:19:16.000 There's a Seinfeld episode about that, where he tries to write it down, and he's like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

01:19:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:19:20.000 But yeah, it's so, I mean, it's funny for what a sitcom Seinfeld was, it would tap into real stand-up shit every once in a while. 0.99

01:19:27.000 Oh, yeah. 0.96

01:19:28.000 I mean, it started off with him doing a monologue.

01:19:30.000 Yeah.

01:19:31.000 Remember that?

01:19:32.000 That was the early days.

01:19:32.000 Yeah.

01:19:33.000 He would do a monologue at a club every time.

01:19:37.000 Yeah, he's...

01:19:37.000 Some great bits in there.

01:19:38.000 He's interesting now, hearing him talk about stuff now, because he's kind of realizing where all this woke shit has gone. 0.97

01:19:44.000 And he doesn't care. 0.98

01:19:45.000 No. 1.00

01:19:45.000 It's kind of beautiful to watch him be like, someone heckles him, he's like, fuck you! 1.00

01:19:48.000 And you're like, oh my god. 1.00

01:19:49.000 Yeah.

01:19:50.000 Jerry versus Heckler?

01:19:51.000 This is entertaining.

01:19:52.000 Well, they're all going after him with the Palestine stuff now, so they're interrupting.

01:19:56.000 But it's just funny, because you know he's...

01:19:58.000 It was a great clip.

01:19:59.000 Oh my god, it was so good. 0.90

01:20:00.000 You stop giving Jews money. 0.98

01:20:01.000 Yeah.

01:20:02.000 But he also, like...

01:20:03.000 But he also is like, you know he's talking about something like...

01:20:06.000 It's just funny when a clean comic is getting heckled.

01:20:09.000 Right.

01:20:10.000 Because I'm like, you're probably heckling a bit about like sponges or something.

01:20:15.000 Well, it just shows you like at this time in history, nothing is safe.

01:20:20.000 This time in history is so screwy that total complete compliance and adherence to every single letter of the doctrine is demanded.

01:20:28.000 And even then they'll move what it is.

01:20:31.000 They'll move the boundaries.

01:20:32.000 They'll move the goalposts.

01:20:34.000 And then what you were saying a month ago is now problematic.

01:20:37.000 And now you have to adhere to a new thing.

01:20:40.000 Yeah, and I also just think it's annoying that we have to go that way.

01:20:43.000 Because why can't we just all enjoy Jerry?

01:20:45.000 I guess that's what I think.

01:20:46.000 Why can't we just all enjoy this?

01:20:49.000 Even if you say something I don't like, I try to separate the comic from the whatever else.

01:20:56.000 I could still listen to Cosby.

01:20:59.000 That's interesting.

01:21:00.000 That one would be tough.

01:21:01.000 I just have to fall asleep sometimes at night.

01:21:03.000 No, no, no.

01:21:05.000 I actually don't really listen to Cosby, but I do think I can...

01:21:07.000 I do it with movies all the time.

01:21:08.000 Like, I don't... 0.95

01:21:10.000 I don't agree with, like, Roman Polanski or Woody Allen, but I fucking love movies.

01:21:15.000 And I think Woody Allen's made some of the best movies ever. 0.82

01:21:19.000 Yeah, he's made incredible movies.

01:21:20.000 And he was a great stand-up.

01:21:21.000 I mean, you know, I can separate.

01:21:25.000 Cosby's tough, because what's it called?

01:21:26.000 Himself?

01:21:27.000 Yeah, it's tough.

01:21:28.000 It's tough to separate, right? 1.00

01:21:30.000 It also just feels dishonest, because it's the cleanest shit ever, and it's like, rape. 1.00

01:21:35.000 And this one lady was saying he might be the most prolific serial raper in history. 1.00

01:21:39.000 Yeah.

01:21:40.000 Like, who knows how many people he did it to that don't come out about it?

01:21:43.000 I know.

01:21:44.000 You know, how many people don't know what happened? 1.00

01:21:46.000 It's also tough when the person who does this shit is so holier than thou. 0.99

01:21:50.000 And so beloved. 0.99

01:21:51.000 But also just so much like, you know, you need to do things this way.

01:21:55.000 It's like those types of...

01:21:56.000 So that is tough.

01:21:57.000 But like, you know...

01:21:59.000 But those are the type of people that are usually creeps.

01:22:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:01.000 It's like male feminists are usually the biggest fucking pieces of shit. 1.00

01:22:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:06.000 Because they're putting on an act that they hope you'll respond to if you're a woman. 1.00

01:22:12.000 That's true.

01:22:13.000 That's what it is.

01:22:14.000 It's a bait and switch.

01:22:15.000 It's a bait and switch and it's the most manipulative thing.

01:22:18.000 And one of the things you get from those guys, the creepiest of them, they will go after other men.

01:22:23.000 And they go after other men publicly. 0.99

01:22:24.000 I remember Jamie Kilstein went after me for a fucking rape joke in like 2013. I had a fucking rape joke that like I got torn to shreds for by these like fake, you know, feminist things. 1.00

01:22:34.000 I had a... 1.00

01:22:35.000 I still remember the joke. 1.00

01:22:36.000 It was like, I was fucking a black girl. 1.00

01:22:38.000 Not a great joke. 1.00

01:22:38.000 I was fucking a black girl while we were having sex. 1.00

01:22:39.000 She kept dropping the N-word. 1.00

01:22:40.000 She was like, no.

01:22:42.000 And then I paused and I was like, you guys are worried I was going to say the N-word.

01:22:45.000 Then everyone was like, thank God.

01:22:46.000 Rape joke. 0.93

01:22:47.000 So that was a joke. 0.98

01:22:48.000 That somehow that word is more offensive than me raping a person. 0.75

01:22:52.000 So the joke killed. 0.99

01:22:54.000 It would always kill.

01:22:55.000 And then I had another one in the same set.

01:22:57.000 This woman saw me.

01:22:58.000 I said... 0.97

01:22:59.000 The whole set was rape. 1.00

01:23:00.000 No, I said my girlfriend never makes me wear the condom because she's on the pill Ambien.

01:23:06.000 Another fun one, right? 0.94

01:23:07.000 There were two quick silly jokes to me.

01:23:09.000 But she wrote a hit piece on me, tore me to shreds. 1.00

01:23:11.000 It was like, it went like fucking... 0.99

01:23:13.000 It got shared because I showed it to Colin Quinn. 0.99

01:23:15.000 I was a young seller comic at the time.

01:23:16.000 It was like 2013. And I showed it to Colin and he goes, the most fucked up part is she omitted the punchline from your jokes. 0.95

01:23:22.000 Okay? 1.00

01:23:23.000 So she is trying to just show that you're a piece of shit. 1.00

01:23:26.000 She's not even showing the comedy here. 1.00

01:23:28.000 He's like, so you have to write something.

01:23:29.000 So I wrote something.

01:23:31.000 Uh...

01:23:33.000 And then it got shared a ton.

01:23:35.000 All these websites like Solange, Jezebel, tore me to shreds. 1.00

01:23:38.000 They're like, he's a nobody, all this shit. 1.00

01:23:40.000 Just cutting me down. 1.00

01:23:41.000 I was.

01:23:42.000 I had nothing going on.

01:23:43.000 And they wanted me to go on Kumail Bell's show at the time to defend.

01:23:47.000 And my manager at the time was like, I don't want your first TV credit to be defending a rape joke.

01:23:52.000 And I was like, I agree. 0.99

01:23:54.000 So, didn't do shit, but then, like, here's the fucking best part. 0.99

01:23:57.000 So, I had a trans joke in my Netflix special that was, like, pretty pro-trans. 0.99

01:24:02.000 I was just, like, being a contrarian.

01:24:04.000 I was like, everyone's doing these, like, trans bad... 1.00

01:24:05.000 I'm like, I'm gonna go the other way.

01:24:06.000 Have fun with it.

01:24:07.000 Went viral. 0.99

01:24:09.000 And all these people are like, this is how you fucking do it, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:24:13.000 One person writes, fuck him, he made bad jokes in 2013. It's the person who fucking tried to cancel me in 2013 who is now a man. 1.00

01:24:26.000 So she's now a guy. 0.96

01:24:28.000 So that's the joke I did in the special.

01:24:30.000 I go, but you know that people can change.

01:24:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:34.000 So that's what I say.

01:24:35.000 That's what I call my new special.

01:24:36.000 You've changed for that.

01:24:37.000 But I'm like, what is the... 1.00

01:24:38.000 So you can be a different person, but I can't grow as a fucking human? 0.99

01:24:42.000 Right, exactly. 1.00

01:24:43.000 The hypocrisy is absurd. 0.55

01:24:45.000 It's absurd.

01:24:46.000 And also, guess what?

01:24:47.000 I'm a different comic than I was in 2013. Not in like a fucking... 0.99

01:24:51.000 I'm a better stand-up. 0.99

01:24:53.000 I take...

01:24:53.000 If I go there now, I hope it's a better joke.

01:24:56.000 Yeah.

01:24:57.000 But, like, how come there's only room for growth on your side? 0.99

01:25:00.000 It's fucking absurd! 0.99

01:25:02.000 Absurd. 1.00

01:25:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:25:02.000 Well, it's a cult. 1.00

01:25:03.000 And I accept. 1.00

01:25:03.000 Whatever the fuck you choose to do, it's your body. 1.00

01:25:05.000 Do whatever the fuck you want with your life. 1.00

01:25:06.000 100%. 1.00

01:25:06.000 But the idea that, like, you get to do whatever you want, but then everyone else is, like, a target to you is insane. 1.00

01:25:13.000 It is insane.

01:25:14.000 But it just shows you the disingenuous approach of things, and also that the people that are involved in this sort of attacking people, they're not enlightened, for lack of a better term, not saying that I am.

01:25:23.000 But their level of compassion is not for everybody.

01:25:29.000 It's only for people that agree with them.

01:25:31.000 It's not real compassion.

01:25:32.000 You're a progressive, but only you can progress.

01:25:33.000 Exactly.

01:25:34.000 And it's also the only people that agree with you 100%.

01:25:38.000 But then, let's look into your own life.

01:25:40.000 I guarantee you're a mess.

01:25:41.000 I know.

01:25:41.000 Well, these are the people that went after Shane, too.

01:25:43.000 You have to realize. 0.97

01:25:44.000 And the fucked up way they went after Shane was that... 0.98

01:25:46.000 I remember... 0.99

01:25:48.000 They went after Shane so hard.

01:25:50.000 I think it was CNN had a thing.

01:25:51.000 They were like, people who were canceled this year.

01:25:53.000 And it was Weinstein, Cosby, and Shane.

01:25:55.000 Oh, my God.

01:25:56.000 And I was like, this is like a SAT question.

01:25:58.000 Which one doesn't fit?

01:25:59.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:25:59.000 This is so fucking unfair. 0.96

01:26:02.000 So, you know... 0.97

01:26:04.000 I think that ship has sailed.

01:26:06.000 I think it's for the most part over, and I think we're mostly laughing about it now.

01:26:09.000 But now you see it with the Tenacious D guy, and now it's predominantly the left that goes after people, but now it's kind of, this was the right, where they're celebrating the Kyle Gass thing.

01:26:20.000 I'm like, hey man, it's either all okay or none of it.

01:26:23.000 It's the South Park guys, either all okay or none's okay.

01:26:25.000 The guy said something on stage because he's signaling to all his liberal followers and he's trying to be cool.

01:26:32.000 And he probably had no idea that that was going to get out to the rest of the world.

01:26:35.000 He thought he was just saying it to his crowd.

01:26:37.000 And he didn't understand because he's like 60 years old.

01:26:40.000 You see that guy? 1.00

01:26:41.000 He's old as fuck. 1.00

01:26:42.000 I didn't see it. 1.00

01:26:43.000 He's like a super old triple vax liberal. 1.00

01:26:46.000 And he said something and it was a stupid thing to say. 1.00

01:26:50.000 And then he had to cancel their whole fucking tour. 1.00

01:26:54.000 Well, I'm bummed that Jack Black canceled on him. 0.99

01:26:57.000 Well, they all canceled.

01:26:58.000 Well, that's your friend, though.

01:26:59.000 I mean, that bummed me out.

01:27:00.000 I think Jack Black's hilarious, so that bummed me out.

01:27:02.000 Well, he didn't throw his friend under the bus.

01:27:03.000 He said he was blindsided by it and that he doesn't support hate speech, political hate speech.

01:27:09.000 Yeah, I mean, but what is hate speech is my other thing.

01:27:12.000 It's like, you either made a joke or you either say it's a joke or it is actual.

01:27:15.000 It's either a joke or it's not a joke.

01:27:17.000 It is the definition of too soon.

01:27:19.000 Yeah.

01:27:20.000 That's what it is.

01:27:21.000 Sure.

01:27:21.000 It was two days.

01:27:22.000 And the joke bombed.

01:27:23.000 Yeah.

01:27:23.000 Right?

01:27:24.000 It was like, oh, Jesus.

01:27:25.000 I don't like it.

01:27:26.000 I don't think.

01:27:27.000 Do I think it's a good joke?

01:27:27.000 No.

01:27:28.000 No.

01:27:28.000 But also, like, why are you calling for it?

01:27:30.000 I don't like the calling for people's heads either.

01:27:32.000 Yeah.

01:27:32.000 I don't like it either.

01:27:33.000 I think they're just delaying their tour.

01:27:35.000 He's just going to take some time off.

01:27:37.000 He just wanted a vacation.

01:27:37.000 No, I really think that's what the decision was.

01:27:39.000 I think the decision was to stop the tour and then come back.

01:27:42.000 Yeah.

01:27:43.000 Maybe.

01:27:43.000 Yeah.

01:27:44.000 Isn't that what they said?

01:27:45.000 Tour is canceled.

01:27:46.000 He's been dropped by his agent also.

01:27:47.000 Oh, never mind.

01:27:48.000 Whoa.

01:27:51.000 Jesus.

01:27:51.000 I was about to be like, you know what?

01:27:52.000 Summer is hard to tour, but now, yeah.

01:27:54.000 Has everybody been dropped or just that one guy?

01:27:56.000 Jack Black hasn't been dropped.

01:27:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:59.000 You're a dumb fucking agent if you're dropping that one. 1.00

01:28:00.000 Yeah, if you drop Jack Black, like, yo. 1.00

01:28:03.000 At first, I thought Jack Black said it.

01:28:05.000 No.

01:28:05.000 When I saw the clip, I was like, Oh, no.

01:28:07.000 I was watching Tropic Thunder the other day on TV. It's still funny.

01:28:10.000 It's amazing.

01:28:11.000 It's really funny.

01:28:12.000 It's the last free movie.

01:28:13.000 They don't do it anymore, dude.

01:28:15.000 You can't do a movie like that.

01:28:16.000 Someday.

01:28:17.000 It'll come back around.

01:28:17.000 I asked Robert Downey Jr. on the podcast.

01:28:19.000 I said, do you think you make Tropic Thunder today?

01:28:21.000 He's like, oh, you could make it.

01:28:25.000 I saw that.

01:28:25.000 He's awesome.

01:28:26.000 He's great.

01:28:27.000 Yeah.

01:28:27.000 Yeah, that's a...

01:28:29.000 You know, Ben Stiller doesn't get enough credit for kind of just going for it with that shit. 1.00

01:28:34.000 That was... 0.99

01:28:34.000 In that movie, he just went for it. 0.99

01:28:36.000 So did Tom Cruise. 1.00

01:28:37.000 Remember when Tom Cruise played that fat agent with the fucking... 1.00

01:28:39.000 It was awesome. 1.00

01:28:40.000 I was like, I saw that.

01:28:41.000 I was like, I want to see you do more comedy, dude. 0.98

01:28:42.000 I know you want to do your own stunts and you're like, fuck, you have a death wish and it's badass and stuff, but I want to see Tom Cruise in a comedy. 0.99

01:28:49.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:50.000 Well, listen, I know Tom Cruise is a loon. 0.89

01:28:52.000 But Tom Cruise, because of the fact he's a loon, can kind of do anything. 0.63

01:28:57.000 I mean, he played the vampire Lestat in Interview with the Vampire, and all of Anne Rice's fans were protesting.

01:29:03.000 Why?

01:29:04.000 People did not want Tom Cruise to play Lestat.

01:29:06.000 But he's great.

01:29:07.000 He's great.

01:29:08.000 But if you didn't know, Tom Cruise at the time was Top Gun. 0.99

01:29:11.000 He was like fucking blockbuster boy. 1.00

01:29:14.000 And then I was going to play this homosexual vampire who's like this weak... 1.00

01:29:18.000 It's called acting. 0.98

01:29:18.000 Yeah, but it's... 0.98

01:29:20.000 It was too beloved to them, to the people that are like, have you ever read Interview with a Vampire?

01:29:24.000 No, I haven't. 0.95

01:29:25.000 It's fucking amazing. 1.00

01:29:25.000 But he's more gay than he is a pool shark, and he played a pool shark in The Color of Money, so who gives a shit? 1.00

01:29:30.000 Yeah, the pool shark wasn't believable, unfortunately. 1.00

01:29:33.000 But he did learn how to do it, though.

01:29:34.000 That was more offensive to me than the vampire.

01:29:37.000 He learned kinda.

01:29:38.000 Kinda.

01:29:39.000 If I watched him play, I'd be like, come on.

01:29:41.000 But you're good at pool.

01:29:42.000 Yeah, that's the difference. 1.00

01:29:43.000 I suck. 0.93

01:29:44.000 But if you watch someone play guitar and you don't know how to play guitar, I don't know what's going on, right? 0.99

01:29:48.000 But if you're a really good guitar player and you say, oh, he's not even hitting the right keys when that sound's coming out. 0.99

01:29:53.000 This is bullshit. 0.98

01:29:54.000 That's not how you play guitar. 1.00

01:29:56.000 It's like seeing comedy in a movie.

01:29:58.000 Punchline.

01:29:58.000 It's usually rough.

01:29:59.000 Punchline with Sally Fields and Tom Hanks.

01:30:01.000 It's rough.

01:30:01.000 Did you ever see that?

01:30:02.000 Yeah, it's fucking awful. 0.99

01:30:03.000 With the lockers. 0.99

01:30:04.000 They have lockers.

01:30:05.000 They have lockers. 0.99

01:30:06.000 I love Tom Hanks, but yeah, it's not fucking... 0.94

01:30:09.000 Yeah, it's not a... 0.93

01:30:10.000 Comedy doesn't...

01:30:11.000 The only time I saw it kind of work was when Sandler did it in the Judd Apatow movie.

01:30:16.000 Because Sandler does stand-up, though.

01:30:17.000 Right.

01:30:18.000 He's a real comedy.

01:30:18.000 Yeah.

01:30:19.000 Yeah, you could do a movie with comedy in it like Louis did with Louis.

01:30:24.000 Louie's such a good show.

01:30:26.000 I sent him an email like a year ago.

01:30:27.000 It was like 2 a.m.

01:30:29.000 I just wrote him an email being like, man, I miss shows like this and I miss the representation of New York and I love how you make New York disgusting and ugly but also kind of beautiful and a mess and against you at all times.

01:30:45.000 There's a scene in that show where he...

01:30:49.000 You know what I'm talking about with the flight?

01:30:50.000 He misses the flight, and the woman's just typing in.

01:30:53.000 He's like, what happened to the flight?

01:30:54.000 She just keeps typing.

01:30:55.000 She goes, it was canceled. 0.91

01:30:57.000 He's like, why?

01:30:58.000 And she goes...

01:30:59.000 It crashed.

01:31:00.000 And he goes, oh my god, is anyone okay?

01:31:02.000 And she keeps typing.

01:31:03.000 She goes, everyone's dead except one baby.

01:31:07.000 That type of joke is so absurd and silly, but it got me so good because we get so angry when we miss a connect flight.

01:31:12.000 And then everyone's dead is such a great... 0.92

01:31:14.000 That was his mind.

01:31:16.000 And he wrote a long thing back just being like, that was a really cool time in my life and how much he put into it.

01:31:25.000 That show, I think, is brilliant.

01:31:26.000 You know, he edited that show on his MacBook?

01:31:28.000 And the music.

01:31:30.000 Yeah.

01:31:30.000 And he edited that show on the 12-inch MacBook.

01:31:33.000 The little tiny one.

01:31:35.000 And I go, why are you doing it on that?

01:31:37.000 He goes, I like doing it on this little thing.

01:31:39.000 Yeah, that show is...

01:31:41.000 I re-watched it recently, and I was amazed at how well it holds up.

01:31:44.000 It's a great show.

01:31:45.000 It's a great show, and I remember when he did Lucky Louie.

01:31:48.000 I like that, too.

01:31:49.000 Lucky Louie was okay, but I talked to him at the improv one night.

01:31:53.000 We were hanging out, and I was like, what would you do different?

01:31:55.000 Because it had fallen apart.

01:31:57.000 He goes, I would fire all the writers.

01:31:59.000 He goes, I didn't want to fire them.

01:32:01.000 He goes, I would have fired everybody.

01:32:03.000 Well, he also was trying to do a Jackie Gleason sitcom-y type thing, and his strength is being himself.

01:32:08.000 Right.

01:32:09.000 I still enjoyed it, but yeah, Louie's on another level.

01:32:12.000 Yeah, well, Louie was him with freedom.

01:32:15.000 It's like if you take a guy like that and you just let him, he's going to do the best he can.

01:32:20.000 He's going to do the best he can always.

01:32:22.000 You just got to let him do that and get out of the way.

01:32:25.000 You're not going to give him good ideas.

01:32:26.000 You're not going to help him.

01:32:27.000 I know.

01:32:28.000 He gave me a tag once for a joke, and it killed him immediately, and I was like, that's a good comic right there.

01:32:33.000 Oh, he's great.

01:32:33.000 He's good at comedy.

01:32:34.000 Yeah, I had a King Kong joke. 1.00

01:32:37.000 He gave me a great tag once about King Kong's wife giving him shit. 0.98

01:32:41.000 I had a joke where I said, it's a joke that I did in the joke, in the movie The Joker, I say, I did a million jokes for that movie, and this is the one they used, but I said, you know, men and women look at sex differently. 0.99

01:32:53.000 Men look at it like, women look at sex like buying a car. 0.97

01:32:57.000 You're like, can I see myself in this long term?

01:32:59.000 Is it safe?

01:33:00.000 Is it reliable? 0.93

01:33:01.000 Could it kill me? 0.98

01:33:02.000 And I said, men look at sex like parking a car. 0.94

01:33:04.000 We're like, there's a spot.

01:33:05.000 There's another spot.

01:33:06.000 Oh, I have to pay?

01:33:07.000 Never mind.

01:33:08.000 And Louie goes, you should add, uh, handicapped, hope no one sees this. 1.00

01:33:13.000 I had a handicapped line, but his, hope no one sees this hit harder, and I was like, there we go. 0.99

01:33:19.000 It just worked, hope no one sees this is so much more fucked up and funny. 0.98

01:33:23.000 I had a handicapped line, but it worked, but this one then killed, and I was like, he's good. 1.00

01:33:28.000 And I never, I don't really normally take tags, but when it's Louie, you're kind of like, let me try it, and then it was too good to not tell.

01:33:34.000 Too good.

01:33:35.000 Yeah.

01:33:35.000 Yeah, you gotta take it.

01:33:36.000 Yeah.

01:33:38.000 But it's, like, so fun when you have a joke and people think it's over, and then you know there's one more line.

01:33:43.000 Especially if you're doing, like, you know, a tough crowd, and they're like, all right.

01:33:49.000 They have to, like, give it up a little bit.

01:33:50.000 That was good.

01:33:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:33:54.000 It's always great when you find those, too.

01:33:56.000 When you've got the beginning of a joke, and it's kind of doing okay in the early days of the joke, you just start trotting it out, you're fucking with it and working, and you're like, God, there's something there.

01:34:04.000 And then you find the next thing, and boom, you open up a new door.

01:34:06.000 Now you have a whole new door that is attached to the premise that has a bunch of new angles you can take.

01:34:12.000 Yeah.

01:34:13.000 It's a great thing.

01:34:14.000 It's like you have a toy that you find and you're like, oh, I didn't know it did that.

01:34:17.000 Yeah.

01:34:17.000 It's so cool.

01:34:19.000 Louis said he's going to take a year off, and so he's basically taking...

01:34:22.000 I think a year and a half.

01:34:23.000 I think he took another...

01:34:24.000 I mean, I saw him recently.

01:34:26.000 It's almost a year, right?

01:34:27.000 Yeah, I saw him at the cellar, and he was trying some new stuff, and it was funny.

01:34:33.000 Recently?

01:34:34.000 Yeah, he's always funny.

01:34:34.000 Okay, so he's back.

01:34:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:34:36.000 I hate when a comic like that's in the back of the room and I'm fucking around just trying to find shit. 1.00

01:34:41.000 I'm like, God damn it. 0.99

01:34:42.000 And I get up and I go, hey, Louie. 0.99

01:34:43.000 He's like, what's up, man? 0.99

01:34:44.000 God damn it, I was fucking around. 0.99

01:34:46.000 Yeah, I love that when people are doing that, though. 1.00

01:34:48.000 I know you're funny. 0.98

01:34:50.000 If I see someone have a weird set where they're working on new shit, I never think, oh, Sam sucks now. 1.00

01:34:55.000 You'd be an idiot for thinking that. 1.00

01:34:58.000 Yeah, I guess we're always in our head a little bit, you know? 1.00

01:35:00.000 Always. 0.99

01:35:01.000 Once you think you're awesome, you're fucking done. 0.97

01:35:05.000 I had a set once where I switched the order of things on the spot for some strange reason. 0.97

01:35:12.000 I decided to try it this way, and it worked great.

01:35:15.000 But I realized as I was into the set that I missed a giant part of one of the bits because I switched it around and it didn't fit anymore and I couldn't add it anywhere else.

01:35:26.000 And so I was in my head.

01:35:28.000 But I was still killing.

01:35:29.000 Yeah.

01:35:30.000 When I was in my head and then after it was over, I'm like, I gotta listen to this. 0.99

01:35:32.000 It must be fucked up. 0.98

01:35:34.000 But no, the recording was great. 0.99

01:35:36.000 I was listening to it. 0.98

01:35:37.000 This was all like a self-inflicted mindfuck. 0.70

01:35:41.000 Because I knew that there was more to the bit. 0.90

01:35:43.000 But they didn't know there was more to the bit.

01:35:45.000 I know.

01:35:45.000 But you knew there was more.

01:35:47.000 Exactly.

01:35:48.000 And it's annoying though when you leave and there was more meat on the bone.

01:35:51.000 I hate that feeling.

01:35:52.000 The worst.

01:35:53.000 It happens a lot.

01:35:55.000 You're like, well, let me try.

01:35:56.000 Sometimes you try to flex.

01:35:57.000 You're like, let me open with an abortion joke and see if I can dig out of this hole. 1.00

01:36:00.000 And it misses, and you're like, oh, fuck. 1.00

01:36:02.000 Now they hate me. 1.00

01:36:03.000 But I do it all the time.

01:36:04.000 I have a new Hitler chunk. 0.92

01:36:05.000 I was doing it at your club last night, and I'm like, let me open on this.

01:36:08.000 And they're like, no, you can't open on the Hitler joke. 0.64

01:36:10.000 You've got to earn it.

01:36:11.000 Give them four minutes.

01:36:12.000 Yeah.

01:36:12.000 You've got to get them to trust the way you think about things.

01:36:15.000 So I love late night sets still, even though they're like so, I mean, but I like, not even that many comics do them anymore, but when you watch an old one and you're like, oh, a guy had, you had to open on this joke for a reason.

01:36:24.000 Like, there's this comic in New York, Nick Griffin, who's like, he was like the master of the Letterman sets, I thought.

01:36:28.000 His Letterman's, they're like 11 Letterman's, they're all flawless, you know?

01:36:32.000 And every opening joke was perfect.

01:36:35.000 He had a joke where he goes, they say to live every day like it's your last, so I've been crying a lot lately. 0.99

01:36:41.000 That's a great fucking joke. 0.99

01:36:45.000 There's another one he opened with. 0.99

01:36:47.000 I always look at the opener because I'm fascinated by it.

01:36:49.000 He goes, I hate these celebrities, Lady Gaga. 1.00

01:36:52.000 Oh, the press is bothering me.

01:36:54.000 Oh, cool.

01:36:55.000 Visa's bothering me.

01:36:57.000 That's like, you're self-deprecating out of the gate.

01:37:00.000 It's a quick joke.

01:37:01.000 I like the quick laugh.

01:37:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:37:04.000 Visa's bothering me.

01:37:05.000 Want to trade?

01:37:06.000 It's like a great line.

01:37:08.000 Yeah.

01:37:09.000 The construction of a great joke.

01:37:11.000 And starting off with a great joke is so important for opening acts.

01:37:15.000 I always tell that for guys on the road, like if they've never done a big theater before and they're coming with me, I'm like, listen, go out there, say hi to them, don't rush.

01:37:24.000 Don't rush into your first joke.

01:37:25.000 Yeah.

01:37:26.000 But when you commit, that first joke's got to be a banger.

01:37:29.000 Yeah.

01:37:29.000 Because they don't know you.

01:37:30.000 And it might not get the laughs you think it deserves because the audience isn't warmed up yet.

01:37:34.000 But you've got to accept that.

01:37:35.000 But you've got to start out with a banger. 0.93

01:37:38.000 Even if they're not laughing hard, at least they're like, okay.

01:37:40.000 Okay.

01:37:41.000 They might not be laughing, but they might have a smile on their face.

01:37:45.000 You're literally warming them up.

01:37:46.000 Yes, you're warming them up. 0.98

01:37:47.000 And that's why I appreciate comics who warm up crowds with jokes and not just bullshit.

01:37:51.000 I have a respect for people that whatever way you warm them up, however you get them, cool.

01:37:55.000 But I tour with Gary Veeder, and it's just killer deadpan one-liners.

01:37:59.000 They're all just deadpan.

01:38:02.000 He's low energy, so they have to listen. 0.99

01:38:04.000 And for me, that sets the table where every joke is fucking killer. 0.99

01:38:09.000 Dude, I have to piss or I'm on a break. 0.99

01:38:11.000 Let's take a little break.

01:38:12.000 We'll be right back.

01:38:13.000 Yeah, Ron moved out here in like 2017 or 18. Yeah.

01:38:18.000 I mean, he was always at the store, too, because he had a condo in Beverly Hills.

01:38:24.000 Or, excuse me, he had a house in Beverly Hills.

01:38:26.000 It wasn't a condo.

01:38:27.000 It was a mansion. 0.99

01:38:30.000 He just said, I'm fucking moving to Texas. 0.99

01:38:32.000 He goes, I love it here. 0.99

01:38:34.000 I travel.

01:38:35.000 It's in the middle of the country.

01:38:36.000 Easy to take a flight to anywhere.

01:38:38.000 People are nicer.

01:38:39.000 No traffic. 0.98

01:38:40.000 Food's fucking great. 0.99

01:38:41.000 And that kind of put the seeds in my head. 1.00

01:38:43.000 That was like the first seeds in my head.

01:38:45.000 I was like, Austin, huh?

01:38:45.000 Did you not like LA? Nope.

01:38:48.000 No.

01:38:49.000 It's too many people.

01:38:50.000 I think you get around too many people, it's not good for your head.

01:38:54.000 I think too many people like that, people become a problem rather than a resource.

01:39:02.000 You know, there's too many.

01:39:03.000 They get in the way.

01:39:04.000 They're in the way of things.

01:39:05.000 Too clogged up.

01:39:06.000 And I think it creates anxiety.

01:39:08.000 When you're stuck in traffic all the time, I think that's bad for you.

01:39:11.000 I wanted to just...

01:39:12.000 Also, I didn't trust it.

01:39:14.000 I felt like it could fall apart at any moment.

01:39:16.000 I was always waiting for the next earthquake or the next fire.

01:39:19.000 I was evacuated three times from my house from fires.

01:39:22.000 Yeah.

01:39:23.000 Last one, two houses in front of my house burnt to the ground.

01:39:26.000 Right in front of my house. 1.00

01:39:26.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:39:28.000 Yeah, the wildfires were crazy. 1.00

01:39:30.000 Yeah, it's fucking scary, right? 1.00

01:39:31.000 Fucking scary. 0.99

01:39:32.000 When you see them coming, you know, I came home from the comedy store and it was like one o'clock in the morning and me and my wife were looking out the window at the fire coming over the hill. 0.99

01:39:44.000 And we made an early call. 0.98

01:39:46.000 We said, look, if we're wrong, we come back, the house is still here, but let's just get the fuck out of here now. 0.95

01:39:51.000 I'm like, that's too close.

01:39:53.000 They weren't evacuating yet.

01:39:54.000 I'm like, let's get out of here. 0.61

01:39:55.000 And so we got all of our shit and we got a hotel in Beverly Hills. 0.98

01:39:59.000 And then next thing you know, it swept through our neighborhood. 1.00

01:40:02.000 That's fucking horrible. 0.99

01:40:03.000 It burnt 40, I think 40 houses in my neighborhood. 1.00

01:40:07.000 Jesus Christ.

01:40:08.000 Dude, it was crazy.

01:40:08.000 That's awful.

01:40:09.000 Between my neighborhood and the neighboring neighborhoods.

01:40:12.000 Is it like July or what?

01:40:13.000 I don't remember when it happened.

01:40:15.000 I want to say...

01:40:16.000 I don't know.

01:40:17.000 I mean, LA's dry.

01:40:18.000 It's dry.

01:40:19.000 All it takes is a good wind and fires.

01:40:22.000 But it happened three times.

01:40:24.000 Three separate times we had to get evacuated.

01:40:27.000 Yeah.

01:40:27.000 It was weird, man.

01:40:28.000 And when you see it, when you see the walls of flame that are from the left to the right, everywhere you can see is flames.

01:40:35.000 You see houses going up.

01:40:36.000 It's spooky, man.

01:40:38.000 It's spooky like a horror movie.

01:40:40.000 Yeah.

01:40:40.000 And then you realize, like, I talked to a fireman once.

01:40:42.000 This is one of the reasons it freaked me out.

01:40:45.000 I'm wearing an L.A. Fire Department show.

01:40:47.000 Shout out.

01:40:48.000 Fire department shirt.

01:40:49.000 It's a badass job. 0.99

01:40:51.000 Fucking tough people, man. 1.00

01:40:52.000 Those fucking people, they don't get nearly the credit that they deserve. 1.00

01:40:55.000 So I was talking to this guy and he was telling me, he goes, dude, one day, he goes, it's just going to be the right wind and fire's going to start in the right place and it's going to burn through LA all the way to the ocean and there's not a fucking thing we can do about it. 1.00

01:41:08.000 I go, really? 0.74

01:41:10.000 He goes, yeah, we just get lucky.

01:41:13.000 He goes, we get lucky with the wind.

01:41:14.000 Jesus Christ.

01:41:14.000 He goes, but if the wind hits the wrong way, it's just going to burn straight through LA and there's not going to be a thing we can do about it.

01:41:19.000 Because these fires are so big, dude.

01:41:22.000 You're talking about like thousands of acres that are burning simultaneously with like 40 mile an hour winds.

01:41:28.000 And the wind's just blowing embers through the air, and those embers are landing on roofs, and those houses are going up, and they're landing on bushes, and those bushes are going up, and everything's dry.

01:41:38.000 And once it happens, it happens in a way where it's so spread out that there's nothing they can do.

01:41:43.000 There's nothing they can do.

01:41:44.000 Yeah, you just have to evacuate, right?

01:41:45.000 Nothing.

01:41:45.000 Nothing they can do.

01:41:46.000 You just got to get out of there. 0.90

01:41:48.000 It's fucking weird dude one of the worst I ever bombed ever in my career and I wasn't that good at the time either So it was easy to make me bomb but I was I had done one of those NACA one of those college things was a bad and I got I did well at the thing and I got a bunch of gigs and so I was really funny at the NACA show I killed and so I got this gig and I was headlining and JB smooth was opening and It was this weird gig in New Jersey and 0.94

01:42:18.000 it was in the middle of nowhere and this is back way before Navigation so you would get a piece of paper They would say take the 405 to this take a right here go down to the you know So you have to really follow the directions and it was complicated and I remember I left real early and I still it took a long time to get there and I finally found the place and I was there but JB smooth was not there and the show was supposed to start like 20 minutes and And so I said, 0.97

01:42:42.000 what do you guys want to do?

01:42:44.000 And they said, well, we'll just wait for him.

01:42:46.000 Don't worry about it.

01:42:47.000 Everyone's just sitting in the hall, like waiting for the show to start.

01:42:49.000 It's fine.

01:42:50.000 So they go, okay, great.

01:42:51.000 So I sat down and I started watching TV and there's a show on about the Malibu fires. 0.97

01:42:56.000 And it is the most fucking depressing thing I've ever seen in my life. 0.72

01:43:00.000 This guy who was a fireman, I think his house was actually saved, the guy that was crying. 0.99

01:43:06.000 He was just weeping because his whole life he had invested and saved money to make this house and built this house and his house survived but his neighbor's house is fucked. 0.92

01:43:19.000 It's so random which houses get burnt and which houses didn't. 0.90

01:43:22.000 And then there was this kid who was calling for his dog So these kids walk into the street like, Rusty, where are you, Rusty? 0.99

01:43:28.000 No, the dog's dead as fuck. 0.99

01:43:30.000 Everything's dead. 1.00

01:43:31.000 It's like you're looking at the most insane wasteland of burnt homes and people weeping and crying and people died in their cars. 1.00

01:43:39.000 It was horrible, horrible shit. 0.99

01:43:41.000 And then they come in the room and they're still like, JB is not going to be here in time, so we're just going to have you go up first, and then if he gets here, he'll go on after you. 1.00

01:43:49.000 I'm like, okay.

01:43:50.000 And so I went on stage sad.

01:43:53.000 From the Malibu Fire.

01:43:55.000 And I was not funny at all.

01:43:57.000 I couldn't muster funny.

01:43:59.000 I couldn't.

01:44:00.000 I remember this girl I was dating at the time.

01:44:02.000 She was there with me. 0.99

01:44:02.000 She goes, what the fuck was that? 0.99

01:44:04.000 I was like, I watched the Malibu Fire thing. 1.00

01:44:06.000 I was fucking sad. 0.98

01:44:07.000 Now she's dry too. 0.99

01:44:08.000 Yeah.

01:44:09.000 Ah!

01:44:09.000 And then JB went up after me and murdered.

01:44:12.000 Murdered.

01:44:13.000 He's funny.

01:44:14.000 He came in loose and he was like, I got lost when I'm stationed.

01:44:18.000 And he was just killing.

01:44:20.000 Sometimes you just gotta not watch the news.

01:44:22.000 Never watch the news.

01:44:22.000 But that's the thing about this cable news.

01:44:24.000 I watch it and I'm just like, Why would I watch this? 0.98

01:44:27.000 I feel fucking horrible. 0.97

01:44:28.000 You feel horrible and it's not helping you. 0.99

01:44:31.000 You've got to be real careful about any input that gets in your mind before you go on stage.

01:44:37.000 You shouldn't have an argument with your girlfriend.

01:44:39.000 You shouldn't call your friend that owes you money.

01:44:41.000 You shouldn't talk to your parents.

01:44:43.000 You know, you have to be careful about what input.

01:44:46.000 Like, that's why I like the green room at the club.

01:44:48.000 You go in there, the music's playing, comics are in there.

01:44:51.000 Good music, too.

01:44:52.000 Everybody's hanging.

01:44:52.000 It's a good vibe.

01:44:54.000 Like, it feels good.

01:44:55.000 And then you go on stage with a smile on your face.

01:44:57.000 You have to.

01:44:58.000 Yeah, that's what it's supposed to be about.

01:45:00.000 Dude, I mean, we've all done those benefits where they'll be like, this is a benefit for, you know...

01:45:07.000 I did a benefit, Reese. 0.98

01:45:08.000 I didn't fucking think. 0.93

01:45:09.000 I usually look what it's for, so I know it's a good cause, but I was in a rush, and I just showed up to a benefit. 1.00

01:45:14.000 You know, like, oh, I'll fucking kill it. 0.99

01:45:16.000 We'll be fine. 0.99

01:45:17.000 Within 30 seconds, I open on a joke, drinking on muscle relaxers, like silence, and I'm like, okay, something's wrong here.

01:45:23.000 Whatever. 1.00

01:45:24.000 I keep powering through, bombing my dick off. 0.99

01:45:26.000 The crowd's looking at me like, who is this guy? 1.00

01:45:28.000 This guy sucks. 1.00

01:45:29.000 And I get off, and the guy running is like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

01:45:32.000 And I go, what do you mean? 0.99

01:45:33.000 He goes, it's a benefit for a guy who died from drinking on muscle relaxers.

01:45:36.000 And I was like...

01:45:38.000 So I chose the wrong material.

01:45:40.000 How about let me know that before I go on stage?

01:45:43.000 They sent something.

01:45:44.000 I didn't read it.

01:45:44.000 It was my fault entirely.

01:45:45.000 It was completely my fault. 1.00

01:45:47.000 But yeah, I was like, oh shit. 0.99

01:45:49.000 But I've done those gigs where they're like, sometimes you do a benefit where you know what it's for. 0.99

01:45:54.000 And they're like, it's a thing for a cancer benefit or like a Holocaust thing. 0.80

01:45:59.000 And they show Holocaust footage.

01:46:00.000 And you're like, hey, not a great warm up act.

01:46:02.000 Yeah.

01:46:03.000 Listen, I'll just give you money.

01:46:04.000 You want a check?

01:46:05.000 I'll send you a check.

01:46:06.000 I'm not performing.

01:46:07.000 But if it's walking distance, I'll pretty much always do it.

01:46:09.000 Just for the fun?

01:46:10.000 Just for funsies?

01:46:12.000 It's easy to just walk in and do a set.

01:46:15.000 I've done some that were good.

01:46:16.000 I've done some benefits that were fun and they were good.

01:46:18.000 But I've also done some that maybe go, I'm never doing one of these again.

01:46:22.000 This is just not worth doing.

01:46:23.000 I think comedy should only be in a comedy club.

01:46:25.000 When I hear about people doing corporate gigs, I'm like, what are you doing and why are you doing that?

01:46:29.000 I know, but it's not...

01:46:31.000 Are you going to notice...

01:46:33.000 Like, do you notice, if you have, let's say you have $10,000 in your bank account, do you notice if you have $10,500?

01:46:40.000 You don't.

01:46:42.000 Who's getting paid $500 for one of those things? 0.98

01:46:44.000 I'm just saying, so if you have, my point was, if you have $10 million in the bank, like some people I know that do these fucking things, and you get tortured for $10,000. 0.97

01:46:53.000 Like Tony just did one, he got tortured for $10,000. 0.97

01:46:55.000 He goes, it was the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

01:46:58.000 I go, why'd you do it?

01:46:58.000 He goes, he offered me $10,000.

01:47:01.000 And it was right down the street, so I just did.

01:47:02.000 I go, you're not going to notice that $10,000, but you're going to feel that bomb.

01:47:06.000 You're going to feel that.

01:47:07.000 But you might get a funny story, too.

01:47:08.000 I always think, like...

01:47:09.000 I mean, dude, that's why I do morning TV things.

01:47:10.000 I'm like, it's going to be bad, but it's going to be funny bad.

01:47:13.000 I'm glad you brought that up because that Morning Joe one was amazing.

01:47:16.000 Oh, my God.

01:47:17.000 That was hilarious.

01:47:18.000 You know what the funny part is?

01:47:20.000 I wasn't even misbehaving on that one.

01:47:21.000 They just hated me, and it was even funnier.

01:47:24.000 He set me up in a way where he was like... 1.00

01:47:27.000 He clearly hasn't watched my shit, which is fine. 0.98

01:47:29.000 I know he hasn't, but clearly a producer's a fan of mine, so they're giving him lines for my special to cue me up. 0.99

01:47:34.000 So he cued me up for a gun baby joke, and I was like, I'll tell the joke. 0.88

01:47:39.000 And I told it, and he just looked at me like...

01:47:41.000 Yeah.

01:47:42.000 And I'm like, yeah, dude, well, what do you want?

01:47:44.000 Well, I sent you that stuff on him.

01:47:46.000 That's the guy that was gaslighting us.

01:47:47.000 This is the best Biden ever, and if you don't believe me, F you.

01:47:53.000 You know what the thing about a lot of those guys are?

01:47:55.000 As I said, it's poison, these cable shows.

01:47:58.000 But instead of being like...

01:48:00.000 Sometimes you'll follow a comic and they're like a hack, but they know they're a hack.

01:48:03.000 And they're like, I'm sorry, I just have to go out and do that.

01:48:05.000 And you're like, oh yeah, whatever.

01:48:06.000 But he goes on and he acts like...

01:48:08.000 All these guys, they go on and they act like they're doing the Lord's work.

01:48:11.000 They're Edward R. Murrow or something.

01:48:13.000 And I'm like...

01:48:14.000 Oh, so you're gonna do this and think you're, like, there's, like, this type of, like, liberal elitism where it's, like, there's two types of, like, older liberals. 1.00

01:48:21.000 There's, like, the type that, like, is, like, an old hippie and is, like, oh, man, that was cool, you did that shit. 0.99

01:48:26.000 And then there's types that look at you like... 1.00

01:48:28.000 Well, he wasn't a liberal.

01:48:30.000 No.

01:48:30.000 He used to be a Republican.

01:48:31.000 Yeah.

01:48:32.000 And then he got on MSNBC. Yeah, you gotta go with the money, I guess.

01:48:35.000 Change his panties. 0.53

01:48:36.000 Yeah, but that was a weird segment, but I actually get off on that a little bit.

01:48:43.000 I kind of like when I know it's going to be bad.

01:48:45.000 I think it's funny, because I'm just like, well, it's live.

01:48:48.000 I can just do whatever I want.

01:48:50.000 It's funny to me when it goes horribly.

01:48:52.000 Those are state-run propaganda shows.

01:48:54.000 That's all they are. 0.99

01:48:55.000 They're bullshit, news distribution, narrative distribution. 1.00

01:48:58.000 And I'll happily go back. 1.00

01:49:00.000 But...

01:49:03.000 I do enjoy it.

01:49:04.000 I enjoyed it.

01:49:06.000 I enjoyed watching him react, and it was a great joke.

01:49:09.000 That's a good bit.

01:49:10.000 It's a very good bit.

01:49:11.000 Yeah.

01:49:11.000 And watching him not respond to that very good bit.

01:49:14.000 I'm like, you can't even admit that that's a good bit. 0.99

01:49:16.000 That's what bums me out a little bit, is like, they kind of like, just fucking smile. 0.98

01:49:20.000 Come on, bro. 0.97

01:49:21.000 I know, you're not admitting that, I'm not saying school shootings are okay, I'm just saying this joke works.

01:49:26.000 Right.

01:49:27.000 It's just a joke. 0.99

01:49:28.000 Sometimes you can just smile at the fun of the joke, but I guess I think of those crowds, and you think of those crowds, and you're like, not only do you think I'm shit, you think you're better than me, and I feel it, and that's a bummer. 0.99

01:49:40.000 Well, that position of being that guy in the suit with the fucking makeup on in front of the camera speaking the truth, that's an intoxicating power position. 0.99

01:49:51.000 I guess. 0.99

01:49:51.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:49:52.000 Well, I mean, I don't know, but it must feel alright.

01:49:53.000 It's an intoxicating power position for those people.

01:49:57.000 They want to be that guy that is the center of the news show, and all the people are waiting for them to talk, and there's all the cameramen, and they're all pointed at him, makes him super important.

01:50:08.000 There's people behind the scenes with clipboards, they're all looking at him. 1.00

01:50:11.000 Those idiots like that. 1.00

01:50:12.000 It's funny because the producers were quoting my bits. 1.00

01:50:15.000 They knew who I was.

01:50:16.000 Yeah, they were regular people.

01:50:18.000 They're not psychos.

01:50:19.000 They were really cool.

01:50:20.000 I'm sure that's who gave them that thing.

01:50:22.000 They were like, talk about guns and babies.

01:50:24.000 I was like, you got it. 1.00

01:50:26.000 I mean, fuck. 1.00

01:50:28.000 God bless. 1.00

01:50:28.000 Even Al Sharpton kind of chuckled at least. 1.00

01:50:30.000 I was like, I got something out of him even.

01:50:31.000 That's funny.

01:50:32.000 Come on, give me something. 0.95

01:50:33.000 Al Sharpton's an old school grifter.

01:50:35.000 He knows a good joke.

01:50:36.000 Old school, yeah.

01:50:37.000 Come on.

01:50:37.000 I mean, that guy's entire career started on a false rape accusation.

01:50:40.000 Yeah.

01:50:41.000 Yeah.

01:50:41.000 Get out there and do the real thing, buddy.

01:50:44.000 You see what he looks like now?

01:50:45.000 He's lost all of his weight.

01:50:48.000 He's like super, super thin.

01:50:50.000 Oh, there I am.

01:50:51.000 Wow, I look well. 0.99

01:50:52.000 What the fuck is wrong with me? 0.99

01:50:54.000 Let's hear it. 1.00

01:50:55.000 Disappointed, Sam.

01:50:56.000 I'm not going to lie.

01:50:57.000 But I'm used to that.

01:50:58.000 No, no, no.

01:50:58.000 I'm very happy.

01:50:58.000 Wherever I go, I show up at places and people are like...

01:51:01.000 Oh, no.

01:51:02.000 It's earlier in this.

01:51:02.000 This is the end.

01:51:03.000 You've got to go.

01:51:04.000 It's way earlier.

01:51:05.000 I just wanted Al Sharpton because you said something about him.

01:51:07.000 No, no.

01:51:08.000 Go to the beginning.

01:51:08.000 The beginning where he sets up the gun jokes, the funny one.

01:51:11.000 Hey, they gave me a nice plug, though.

01:51:13.000 There's something.

01:51:23.000 Oh no, go past the election here.

01:51:26.000 Yeah, this is whatever.

01:51:27.000 This is just me making a Biden joke or whatever, a Trump-Biden joke.

01:51:30.000 Yeah, right there, maybe.

01:51:33.000 Yeah.

01:51:36.000 Yeah.

01:51:44.000 Both annoying on airplanes.

01:51:47.000 If you're dating someone new and they'd be there, it could be a problem.

01:51:51.000 And both will be in a school soon.

01:51:54.000 Yeah.

01:51:54.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:51:58.000 He did not like that.

01:51:59.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:52:00.000 Well, that's one that you can't, like, what do you do?

01:52:02.000 What do you even say to that?

01:52:04.000 Yeah, but, you know, he...

01:52:05.000 He laughed a little bit.

01:52:06.000 It was a little.

01:52:07.000 That was more than I thought.

01:52:07.000 Yeah, a little.

01:52:08.000 Give me a hint.

01:52:09.000 It wasn't that bad, but Al Sharpton was laughing?

01:52:11.000 Yeah, because I told him, I was like, I bet you're a Samurl fan, just, like, playfully, and he was like, I bet I could be, yeah, and then I was like, you know, I brought up the thing about, like, uh...

01:52:22.000 No, when Justin Bieber went to Anne Frank's house and in the sign-in book wrote, I think she would have been a Belieber.

01:52:27.000 I'm like, that's how I feel about you and me.

01:52:28.000 Did he say that?

01:52:29.000 I said that to him.

01:52:30.000 Did Justin Bieber really do that? 0.99

01:52:32.000 Yeah, he got a lot of shit for that years ago. 0.99

01:52:35.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:52:35.000 Yeah, but come on. 1.00

01:52:36.000 We're entertainers. 0.99

01:52:37.000 We fucking get it. 0.99

01:52:38.000 How old was he? 0.99

01:52:39.000 He was a baby.

01:52:40.000 He was young. 0.99

01:52:40.000 Yeah, I mean, the fuck is he supposed to do? 0.99

01:52:43.000 Yeah, he was just trying to be shocking. 0.99

01:52:45.000 He was in a shocking phase, you know?

01:52:47.000 I think he meant it in, like, good spirits. 0.99

01:52:50.000 I don't think he was, like, trying to be like, fuck her. 0.99

01:52:51.000 I think he was, like, trying to have fun with it, you know? 1.00

01:52:53.000 Yeah.

01:52:54.000 But...

01:52:55.000 But I said that to Al Sharpton.

01:52:56.000 He was like, yeah.

01:52:57.000 He went with it.

01:52:58.000 I was like, alright.

01:52:59.000 Well, the thing is, those places are not places for humor.

01:53:01.000 There's no room for humor because they think they're saving the world.

01:53:05.000 But the world stays, and then you just annoyed everybody your entire career.

01:53:09.000 And you didn't save anything, ever.

01:53:11.000 You never changed anybody's opinion.

01:53:13.000 You didn't.

01:53:13.000 That's why I'm shocked they want me on these shows.

01:53:17.000 I'll happily go in, but I'm just shocked in there.

01:53:19.000 I'm there just laughing in the green room like, this is going to be bad.

01:53:22.000 I know it's going to be bad.

01:53:23.000 They need anything.

01:53:24.000 But yeah, I went on the Ari Melba one once and he just like would set me up for jokes and then look at me like, so why is that funny? 0.82

01:53:31.000 And I'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? 0.90

01:53:33.000 Because it's a joke. 0.98

01:53:34.000 I don't know.

01:53:35.000 Clearly it's not funny.

01:53:35.000 I don't know.

01:53:36.000 You know, but you're just rolling with it.

01:53:38.000 There's a big difference between being funny on a talk show in front of a person who's not ready to be laughing and then an audience.

01:53:46.000 That's why I play to the producers usually.

01:53:47.000 I'm trying to get them laughing.

01:53:48.000 Because then if you hear laughs in the background, it's undeniable. 0.96

01:53:52.000 But if I'm just bombing for one dude, yeah, it's fucking weird. 0.51

01:53:54.000 Yeah, you want to play the camera guys. 0.94

01:53:56.000 Yeah.

01:53:57.000 The normal people.

01:53:58.000 Camera guys and the grips. 1.00

01:54:00.000 I love doing that shit, though. 1.00

01:54:01.000 All my friends are like, you're a psycho for going on morning shows. 1.00

01:54:04.000 Because Stavros and Norman are like, I'm not waking up at 7am to do this. 0.97

01:54:07.000 I'm like, I will happily.

01:54:08.000 You still do it?

01:54:09.000 Of course.

01:54:10.000 But few will have me. 0.92

01:54:11.000 The last one that had me was in Salt Lake City, Utah, and they were like, they knew I'd do this, so the guy came in the green room and was like fucking with me.

01:54:20.000 I'm in the green room with my friend Gary Veeder.

01:54:21.000 I made him come with me because I'm like, I can't do this.

01:54:23.000 It's like a bank robbery.

01:54:24.000 I need an Uber waiting for me because I need to get right out. 0.99

01:54:27.000 But the guy was fucking with me in the green room. 1.00

01:54:29.000 The anchor was a handsome Mormon guy being like, oh, you're going to fuck with me? 1.00

01:54:33.000 And I looked at Gary like, this guy's got an edge. 1.00

01:54:36.000 I was like, Yeah, I guess.

01:54:37.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:54:38.000 And he's like, yeah, let's see if you fuck. 1.00

01:54:40.000 He was kind of being a dick, and I was like, all right. 1.00

01:54:42.000 So then in my head, I'm like, I'm going to fuck with him. 1.00

01:54:44.000 So I went on there, and it was like the week the Diddy shit broke. 1.00

01:54:47.000 And I was like, man, how about that P. Diddy? 0.97

01:54:49.000 And he was just like, well, we're not going to talk about that.

01:54:51.000 And I was like, well, anyway, P. Diddy.

01:54:53.000 I just kept doing it, and he got pissed. 0.99

01:54:55.000 And his anchor, the woman, was cool as fuck. 0.99

01:54:57.000 She was laughing, but he just kept being like, well, you'll never be invited back. 0.99

01:55:01.000 Oh, no.

01:55:02.000 Yeah, and I had to pretend I was upset that I was never going to be back on Good Morning Salt Lake.

01:55:07.000 I was like, oh, no.

01:55:10.000 But then, of course, after the segment, I'm leaving, and I'm trying to get out of there with Gary, but all the crew is stopping me, and they're grabbing me.

01:55:16.000 They're trying to take selfies because they're like, we all hate him.

01:55:18.000 So I'm like, oh, cool.

01:55:20.000 That's hilarious.

01:55:21.000 You ever see Segura when he used to do DJ Dadmouth?

01:55:24.000 I love it, yeah.

01:55:25.000 I love it.

01:55:27.000 It's fun.

01:55:28.000 It's like, you know what?

01:55:29.000 It's such a fake type of TV that it's fun for us to go on and just be ourselves. 1.00

01:55:35.000 I love that shit. 1.00

01:55:37.000 I still have a weird fondness for the comfort of that and then fucking with it. 1.00

01:55:42.000 I don't know why, but sometimes I'll be at home and I'll throw on Good Morning America. 0.97

01:55:46.000 This is kind of funny how...

01:55:48.000 I don't know.

01:55:48.000 They're like cooking something.

01:55:49.000 It's peaceful.

01:55:50.000 I don't know.

01:55:51.000 It's weird to watch some of those shows.

01:55:54.000 Like, I watch The View every now and then just because I don't know anybody like that.

01:55:57.000 I've never seen one episode.

01:55:58.000 Good for you.

01:55:59.000 I've never seen it.

01:55:59.000 Yeah, you've got to go for a walk after you see them.

01:56:02.000 Just go, what?

01:56:03.000 These are voters.

01:56:04.000 I choose to know Whoopi Goldberg from the movie Eddie where she's the Knicks coach.

01:56:09.000 That's how I choose to think of her.

01:56:11.000 Yeah.

01:56:12.000 That shows...

01:56:13.000 Never seen it.

01:56:13.000 There's a bunch of those shows where you're just like, who are these people and how do they think this way?

01:56:17.000 Yeah.

01:56:18.000 But you need to know that those people exist and that there's a bubble and those people exist in a bubble and they all think they're right and they clap and no one disagrees with them.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:26.000 Well, I would happily go on The View, man.

01:56:28.000 I would love to go.

01:56:29.000 I've heard of it.

01:56:30.000 I think I'd make a nice little impression.

01:56:32.000 I love the clip of Norm on The View.

01:56:33.000 That's the clip I've seen.

01:56:34.000 Yeah, Norm was great.

01:56:35.000 Norm was really funny.

01:56:36.000 When he was talking about Hillary Clinton killing people.

01:56:37.000 It was pretty funny.

01:56:38.000 I just like disrupting.

01:56:40.000 I think the disrupting is really funny.

01:56:42.000 It's very funny.

01:56:43.000 Yeah, Norm was the best at that.

01:56:44.000 He was.

01:56:45.000 Yeah.

01:56:46.000 I wish I knew him.

01:56:47.000 I only met him twice, and he was so nice the two times I met him.

01:56:50.000 But I met him on Last Comic Standing, where I got eliminated immediately.

01:56:54.000 I had a pretty good set, but then I had a feeling they weren't going to move. 0.96

01:56:58.000 I watched two comics in front of me fucking bomb and move on, by the way.

01:57:01.000 But I remember Keenan Ivory Wayans was like, you were funny on some jokes and not funny on others. 0.85

01:57:08.000 And I just like sarcastically responded, well, I loved all your scary movie films.

01:57:12.000 And it got a big pop.

01:57:14.000 And he goes, I only did the first two.

01:57:15.000 I'm like, it was a joke.

01:57:16.000 I don't know. 0.98

01:57:17.000 I'm fucking trying to survive here. 1.00

01:57:18.000 And then afterwards, Norm saw me on the way to the bathroom and was like, I like to eat shit on him. 1.00

01:57:22.000 That was funny. 0.98

01:57:23.000 Yeah, and that was like my one interaction with and then another time I met him at Caroline's where We were doing March Madness style.

01:57:30.000 Do you know what that was?

01:57:30.000 It was like one-on-one you do like 60 seconds or 60 seconds and I was in the finals I think I lost to Dan Soder in the championship, which is like I was happy to I love Dan So I was kind of like it's kind of fun to even be in the finals with Dan But no one was hanging with us and he's like He said something.

01:57:45.000 He's like, man, I hate this shit. 1.00

01:57:46.000 It's like they take you out back and fuck you in the ass. 1.00

01:57:49.000 And we were just like, yeah. 1.00

01:57:51.000 We didn't know what he was talking about.

01:57:52.000 We're like, it's Norm. 0.99

01:57:53.000 Just fucking go with whatever he says. 1.00

01:57:54.000 He's a fucking legend, you know? 1.00

01:57:55.000 I randomly sat next to him twice on airplanes. 1.00

01:57:59.000 Wow.

01:58:00.000 Yeah.

01:58:00.000 Well, you guys were buddies, right?

01:58:01.000 Yeah, well, we knew each other.

01:58:02.000 We knew each other from the clubs.

01:58:03.000 But just randomly, we happened to be in the same city, the same town, on the same plane.

01:58:07.000 And he sat next to me twice.

01:58:08.000 That's amazing.

01:58:09.000 Yeah, it was amazing. 0.98

01:58:10.000 And so like for three hours, me and Norm just talking shit and having fun. 0.91

01:58:14.000 And one time, one of my favorite stories was he was on, he's like, yeah, quit cigarettes. 0.99

01:58:18.000 Quit smoking. 1.00

01:58:19.000 Fucking cigarettes are terrible. 1.00

01:58:21.000 They're terrible for you. 1.00

01:58:21.000 They kill you. 1.00

01:58:22.000 And so we're talking about cigarettes and we get off the plane and he immediately runs into one of the shops and grabs a pack of cigarettes.

01:58:31.000 And he's lighting it before he gets out the door.

01:58:35.000 Out the door, he's like, I go, I thought you quit circus.

01:58:38.000 I did, but we were talking about it.

01:58:40.000 I wanted one, you know?

01:58:41.000 I just couldn't help myself.

01:58:43.000 So funny.

01:58:44.000 Oh, he was an animal.

01:58:45.000 A legend.

01:58:46.000 Yeah, real legend.

01:58:47.000 And even the way he went out, you know?

01:58:48.000 Didn't even tell anybody.

01:58:49.000 Just went to Canada and died. 1.00

01:58:50.000 Who the fuck would ever do that anymore? 1.00

01:58:52.000 Like, no one. 0.99

01:58:53.000 No one.

01:58:54.000 Everybody makes a big deal out of it.

01:58:55.000 They post on social media these tearful videos.

01:58:58.000 I'm in stage four and, you know, thank you for all your hopes and wishes and prayers.

01:59:02.000 Yeah.

01:59:03.000 And Norm was like, I'm just gonna ride off in the sunset. 0.94

01:59:06.000 Yeah, he was so fucking funny.

01:59:08.000 And, you know, you see so many videos of him online now. 0.94

01:59:11.000 Like, anytime anything comes up, there's always a Norm joke.

01:59:14.000 And you kind of forget that he's dead, you know, because he's so funny.

01:59:18.000 It's weird that it's like giving him a second life.

01:59:22.000 Kind of in a weird way because I think it's really unfortunate some of these guys who are brilliant like they don't get their due until obviously was huge and he was a weekend update guy did so much great stuff and movies and all that stuff but not what he deserved not what he deserved and I felt the same way about Greg Giraldo and about like Patrice I think a lot of those guys kind of didn't get the love they deserved I feel like if Patrice survived,

01:59:46.000 he would be the number one podcaster in the world.

01:59:48.000 That's what I feel like.

01:59:50.000 I feel like the only reason why I'm number one is because Patrice isn't alive.

01:59:53.000 Because he was smart, but also hilarious, but also... 0.99

01:59:59.000 Did not give a fuck. 0.99

02:00:01.000 Like, did not give any fucks. 1.00

02:00:03.000 And would tell people to their face the most ridiculous shit that happened to be true. 1.00

02:00:09.000 And, you know, and he was the master at it. 1.00

02:00:11.000 He was so good at it. 1.00

02:00:12.000 Like, on Opie and Anthony, he was the best at calling people out on their bullshit. 1.00

02:00:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:00:17.000 And then having points. 0.99

02:00:18.000 Him at his best was fucking... 0.99

02:00:20.000 Oh, he was so good. 1.00

02:00:20.000 But he did fuck around a lot, I think. 1.00

02:00:22.000 Like, I hear stories at the Cellar all the time. 0.99

02:00:24.000 They're like, God, we wish he would, like, try.

02:00:27.000 Because he would just not try sometimes. 0.99

02:00:29.000 He just didn't give a shit. 0.98

02:00:29.000 That's a lot of the ways those guys would come up with material. 0.98

02:00:33.000 That's a good point.

02:00:34.000 That was Damon Wayans' thing.

02:00:37.000 Damon Wayans, in my opinion, I still say this to this day, the most underrated of all the greats.

02:00:42.000 I think Damon Wayans is one of the all-time greats.

02:00:44.000 But he kind of stopped doing it.

02:00:47.000 In the height of his...

02:00:48.000 Have you ever seen this HBO special, The Last Stand?

02:00:51.000 He's like murdering to the point of...

02:00:53.000 Murdering.

02:00:54.000 He was so good, dude.

02:00:55.000 But I used to see him at the store all the time, and he would go on stage for an hour and a half with no material.

02:01:02.000 And he would murder.

02:01:03.000 He films every set.

02:01:04.000 He has a tape recorder in the back of the room, like a camera, that's filming every set, and he archives them all.

02:01:11.000 So he has like every set that he's ever done since like the 1990s.

02:01:14.000 Wow.

02:01:15.000 And I saw him...

02:01:16.000 Just a few years back, I want to say five, six years ago at the improv, same thing.

02:01:21.000 He was starting to do stand-up again, had the camera out on stage fucking around, and that's how he would take a bit and then put words to it and pump it up and change it, but he would come up with the initial premise out of nothing.

02:01:38.000 Yeah. 0.53

02:01:38.000 Like, there was no... 0.53

02:01:40.000 He was...

02:01:42.000 Silence.

02:01:42.000 Just talking.

02:01:44.000 People who write on stage like that, it's to me kind of insane.

02:01:48.000 It's insane.

02:01:49.000 It's insane.

02:01:50.000 I wonder if his film career must have made him put stand-up on hold a bit.

02:01:56.000 Film and TV. Remember he had a TV series?

02:01:59.000 When you have a TV series, for those guys especially that were in the 90s, that was the golden carrot.

02:02:04.000 That was the thing.

02:02:05.000 You get a sitcom and that's what everybody wanted.

02:02:07.000 So even if you don't really necessarily think that's the best thing for you, like you know you can make money doing stand-up and traveling and doing the road, Those guys get tired.

02:02:15.000 They don't want to do the road anymore.

02:02:16.000 And then the sitcom job is so easy.

02:02:19.000 You just show up and you're getting a hundred grand a week.

02:02:21.000 Yeah.

02:02:22.000 A hundred grand a week. 0.99

02:02:23.000 To just fucking say words. 0.99

02:02:25.000 It's not that hard. 0.99

02:02:26.000 In his movies, he's a good actor.

02:02:29.000 He was funny at that.

02:02:31.000 I mean, yeah.

02:02:32.000 I remember I did the Letterman show on Netflix and he was baffled by the fact that I put out a free special.

02:02:39.000 He was like...

02:02:40.000 What?

02:02:40.000 He's like, I don't understand.

02:02:42.000 Because he came up in the era in the 80s where he was like, oh, I'm looking for a sitcom.

02:02:44.000 That was my whole thing.

02:02:45.000 So I was like, oh, no, we make money touring now.

02:02:48.000 That's how we do it.

02:02:49.000 Yeah.

02:02:49.000 And so he was like, huh?

02:02:50.000 He was so intrigued by it.

02:02:52.000 Yeah.

02:02:53.000 Well, I remember when I was on a sitcom and I heard someone was doing the improv in Irvine and they did the whole week and they made 25 grand.

02:03:01.000 I was like, what?

02:03:02.000 What?

02:03:02.000 Yeah.

02:03:03.000 What?

02:03:03.000 Did you make 25 grand doing this?

02:03:06.000 Because I was not at that level.

02:03:08.000 I wasn't selling anyplace out, so I was never making that kind of money for a weekend.

02:03:11.000 But I was like, that's what I make on a sitcom.

02:03:13.000 Like, it's the same money, but they're doing, like, stand-up.

02:03:16.000 And I'm kind of in this little velvet prison, you know, where I'm eating craft service, and I've got my own dressing room.

02:03:24.000 But it's a little weird.

02:03:25.000 It's not what I want.

02:03:26.000 Yeah.

02:03:27.000 It's a fun thing to do.

02:03:28.000 It's a great gig.

02:03:30.000 And that gig was the perfect version of one of those gigs.

02:03:33.000 And you were good at it.

02:03:33.000 Super talented people.

02:03:34.000 Thank you. 1.00

02:03:35.000 Funny fucking human beings. 1.00

02:03:37.000 Great crew. 1.00

02:03:38.000 Everybody was great.

02:03:39.000 The cast in your show was so good.

02:03:40.000 Amazing. 0.98

02:03:41.000 Super, super fucking talented. 0.94

02:03:42.000 Phil Hartman's one of the funniest dudes of all time, I think. 0.97

02:03:44.000 Brilliant.

02:03:45.000 Dave Foley, brilliant.

02:03:45.000 Andy Dick, hilarious.

02:03:47.000 Yeah.

02:03:47.000 Maura Tierney, Candy Alexander, Vicki Lewis.

02:03:51.000 They were all amazing.

02:03:52.000 Steven Root, insane actor.

02:03:54.000 That dude's career is so cool.

02:03:55.000 He's so good.

02:03:56.000 Yeah, he's in everything, I feel.

02:03:58.000 Everything I turn something on, I'm like, oh, dude, this dude's got more range than anybody.

02:04:01.000 And he was the only guy on the show that was playing a character.

02:04:04.000 He was playing Jimmy James.

02:04:05.000 Andy Dick was basically a steroided-up Andy Dick.

02:04:09.000 It was like Andy Dick on steroids.

02:04:11.000 I was kind of me. 0.99

02:04:12.000 I was like conspiracy theorists and you know all that stupid shit, but I love when they write that shit in Yeah, well that show was really good at that They were also really good at letting people improvise like Dave Foley was like a secret producer of that show because he would rewrite entire scenes Wow like we would get the script and then we would do our we would do a run-through right so the way sitcom works is You get a script, 0.99

02:04:36.000 you do a table read, and then after you get the table read, Tom Saronis, who is the director and the cast, we would all go, okay, let's put it on its legs. 0.99

02:04:44.000 And so we would start the scene, and then, you know, Dave would a lot of times go, Why is Andy coming in this way?

02:04:52.000 Why don't we have Andy hiding under his desk?

02:04:55.000 Because we're not supposed to be talking about him.

02:04:57.000 Or he's not supposed to know we're talking about him.

02:04:58.000 And then he pops up.

02:04:59.000 Oh, that's a great idea.

02:05:00.000 And then instead of that, how about he says this?

02:05:03.000 And Dave, because he'd come from Kids in the Hall, where they'd created all these insane sketches.

02:05:08.000 Kids in the Hall, super underrated show.

02:05:10.000 Super underrated show. 0.95

02:05:11.000 They were all so fucking good. 0.95

02:05:13.000 Amazing. 0.82

02:05:13.000 And so Dave was so good at producing. 0.82

02:05:15.000 I just saw him on Fargo.

02:05:17.000 He's great in it.

02:05:17.000 He's great in everything.

02:05:18.000 He's an awesome actor.

02:05:20.000 He's a UFO nut.

02:05:20.000 Is he?

02:05:21.000 Total believer.

02:05:22.000 Which is hilarious because when we were friends, he was always like, why do you care about all this stuff?

02:05:26.000 Why do you care? 1.00

02:05:27.000 We were on the sitcom together because I was always into UFOs and all kinds of stupid shit. 1.00

02:05:31.000 And he was like, what the fuck are you interested in this for? 1.00

02:05:34.000 This is all nonsense. 1.00

02:05:35.000 And then something happened.

02:05:36.000 I forget what it was.

02:05:37.000 And then eventually he saw one.

02:05:39.000 And he had, like, a UFO experience.

02:05:42.000 He's a full-on believer now.

02:05:45.000 Which is fun.

02:05:46.000 It's fun for me.

02:05:47.000 I'm like, ooh, now you like them.

02:05:48.000 This is exciting.

02:05:49.000 Life's long, man.

02:05:51.000 Yeah, people change.

02:05:52.000 Yeah.

02:05:53.000 I've changed.

02:05:57.000 It's cool, man.

02:05:58.000 It's cool you had that experience.

02:06:00.000 You've had, like, a lot of lives in comedy.

02:06:02.000 I mean, you do the sitcom and then have your game show and then you're doing stand-up and the podcast. 0.99

02:06:09.000 And it's like, wow, you can have a lot of lives in this shit. 0.93

02:06:12.000 The thing is, I got super lucky, for sure, in a lot of these things, but also, everything I do is something I actually like doing. 0.99

02:06:20.000 Yeah.

02:06:20.000 Which makes it real easy.

02:06:22.000 Makes it real easy to show up for something, like today.

02:06:25.000 Like, I wasn't thinking, oh, I gotta talk to Sam.

02:06:27.000 It was like, we're going to have fun.

02:06:28.000 Let's go have fun.

02:06:29.000 No, it's pumped.

02:06:30.000 Yeah, it's all good.

02:06:33.000 It's all a good thing.

02:06:34.000 So if you could find a job that you actually enjoy doing, you'll probably excel at it if you pay attention to it.

02:06:40.000 Yeah, work hard and do your best.

02:06:43.000 And next thing you know, it's working.

02:06:45.000 But it's like all those things.

02:06:47.000 Especially working for the UFC and doing stand-up and podcasting.

02:06:51.000 It's all things I like doing.

02:06:53.000 UFC is your number one sport by far, right?

02:06:57.000 It's the only thing I really know in boxing.

02:07:01.000 Boxing, not as much as UFC, but it's the only thing I really, really know.

02:07:05.000 I don't really know basketball.

02:07:07.000 I don't really know football.

02:07:08.000 I kind of understand who's popular.

02:07:09.000 I'm friends with Aaron Rodgers. 0.96

02:07:11.000 I don't fucking even know the rules. 0.94

02:07:12.000 I hope they do well. 0.98

02:07:13.000 I'm not a Jets fan.

02:07:14.000 I'm a Giants fan, but I want the Jets to thrive.

02:07:17.000 Jets fans deserve it. 0.99

02:07:19.000 They do, and having him blow his fucking Achilles out at the beginning of the season. 1.00

02:07:24.000 It was the most New York Jets shit that has ever happened. 1.00

02:07:28.000 Here's why we're so New York Jets, because they still won the fucking game somehow. 1.00

02:07:32.000 You know it's going to be a bad season. 0.99

02:07:35.000 No, he...

02:07:35.000 I was pumped for the Jets when they got him, and I saw him at a Knicks game, and I was kind of like, ooh, Aaron, like, it's cool he's in the building.

02:07:42.000 He's a great guy.

02:07:43.000 Have you ever met him?

02:07:43.000 No, I've never met him, but I was kind of just like, wow, he's like...

02:07:46.000 I mean, I love football, so I love, you know...

02:07:50.000 I always admired him as a quarterback.

02:07:52.000 I just thought he was great.

02:07:53.000 He's a cool guy.

02:07:54.000 I hung out with him in Vegas this last trip for the UFC. He came to the fights, and we all went out to dinner afterwards.

02:07:59.000 He's just a fun guy to hang out with.

02:08:01.000 Just genuinely cool. 0.98

02:08:03.000 Real easy, down-to-earth, friendly to everybody, easy to talk to, cool as shit. 0.92

02:08:10.000 I wonder when he's going to be 100%. 0.99

02:08:12.000 My wife's a big football fan. 1.00

02:08:16.000 Who's your team?

02:08:19.000 She likes a lot of teams, but she was happy for Aaron Rodgers being on the Jets because she had met Aaron too.

02:08:25.000 She had met Aaron when he was on the podcast too.

02:08:27.000 And so we went to see them play the Dallas Cowboys.

02:08:32.000 It's my first time ever seeing an NFL game.

02:08:34.000 It's fun.

02:08:35.000 It's amazing.

02:08:36.000 And in that stadium they have in Dallas, the stadium is fantastic. 0.97

02:08:39.000 Fucking insane. 0.98

02:08:40.000 I've never been. 0.99

02:08:42.000 Enormous television screens.

02:08:44.000 There's no bad seat in the house. 0.99

02:08:46.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

02:08:48.000 And we were on the 50-yard line. 0.99

02:08:49.000 It was fucking awesome. 0.98

02:08:50.000 But Aaron wasn't there because he had blown his Achilles out. 0.97

02:08:54.000 It's a bummer.

02:08:54.000 So I was like, I'll go to a game with you.

02:08:56.000 We'll go to the game.

02:08:56.000 We'll see my friend.

02:08:57.000 I would love that. 0.96

02:08:58.000 Yeah, I love, I love, I mean, the only problem with going to games in fucking Jersey, it's like such a trek to get there. 0.75

02:09:05.000 Like, I go to a Knicks or a Rangers game, it's 20 blocks from me. 0.85

02:09:08.000 Like, I'm in and out, you know?

02:09:10.000 Even a Yankees game, like, I love baseball still.

02:09:12.000 Like, I still love, like, I think baseball still, like, I know it's had a tough run for the last 20 years or so.

02:09:17.000 Let them get back on steroids. 1.00

02:09:19.000 I would love it. 0.82

02:09:20.000 Let those guys get giant and crush that ball. 1.00

02:09:23.000 Let's go. 1.00

02:09:24.000 How cool is that shit? 1.00

02:09:25.000 What kind of nonsense is this, keeping baseball players from doing steroids? 1.00

02:09:29.000 That was two of the biggest problems in baseball was, one, not letting Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame. 0.99

02:09:33.000 He's the best fucking hitter in, what, 50 years? 0.97

02:09:36.000 Somebody likes that gamble. 1.00

02:09:38.000 He also gambled on stealing bases.

02:09:40.000 What's the next commercial? 1.00

02:09:41.000 FanDuel, DraftKings, and Winbet, you fucking hypocrites? 1.00

02:09:44.000 Yes! 1.00

02:09:45.000 Yes, it's crazy.

02:09:46.000 I get it.

02:09:47.000 You shouldn't gamble on your... 0.99

02:09:48.000 It's fucked up, but also, like, let it go. 0.98

02:09:51.000 You have to set... 0.99

02:09:52.000 We've talked about this before. 0.99

02:09:53.000 Separate the fucking game from that. 0.99

02:09:55.000 Bonds needs to be... 0.99

02:09:56.000 Bonds is the best hitter ever. 0.99

02:09:59.000 Bonds is the best fucking baseball player I've ever seen, personally. 0.98

02:10:02.000 He was on the sitcom I was on. 0.99

02:10:04.000 Barry Bonds?

02:10:05.000 Hardball, yeah.

02:10:06.000 That was the first sitcom.

02:10:07.000 The short-lived Hardball with Bruce Greenwood.

02:10:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:10:10.000 Bruce Greenwood and Mike Starr.

02:10:12.000 Yeah, he was on it.

02:10:13.000 And it was before the steroids.

02:10:15.000 He was like normal-sized Barry Bonds. 0.99

02:10:17.000 His head got fucking... 1.00

02:10:19.000 He got giant, dude! 1.00

02:10:20.000 It's weird when you do so many steroids, your head gets big.

02:10:22.000 Everything got big.

02:10:23.000 His neck got big, his shoulders got big.

02:10:24.000 He probably gained 100 pounds. 0.99

02:10:25.000 He was fucking huge! 0.99

02:10:26.000 It was cool, though. 0.99

02:10:27.000 And Mark McGuire, same thing.

02:10:28.000 Those guys got giant.

02:10:29.000 Sammy Sosa, they all got giant. 0.99

02:10:30.000 How fucking gross was it watching Congress spend, like, 15 days on baseball the same year as Hurricane Katrina just because you want to shake hands with Raphael Palmeiro, you fucking fanboys? 0.99

02:10:41.000 Yeah, also, like, who cares if they do steroids? 0.99

02:10:43.000 Like, why is Congress involved in this when we're in international conflicts?

02:10:46.000 It was the crazy—because they love baseball.

02:10:49.000 That's the thing. 0.99

02:10:49.000 I just read this Joe DiMaggio book, and every fucking—every politician is obsessed with Joe DiMaggio. 0.99

02:10:56.000 Of course, I mean, he's an American icon, but, like, they love baseball on another level, I feel like. 0.96

02:11:00.000 It's such— A historically American game.

02:11:03.000 I am kind of obsessed with that era of baseball. 0.98

02:11:06.000 I was reading a Lou Gehrig book and it was like, oh shit, this was like an immigrants game, but it was like white immigrants. 1.00

02:11:13.000 That's how fucking American this shit was. 1.00

02:11:15.000 They were like, you're letting the Irish play? 1.00

02:11:17.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:11:18.000 Barry Bonds and Bruce Greenwood.

02:11:20.000 Oh yeah, he's good.

02:11:20.000 I like him.

02:11:22.000 Man, look at him.

02:11:22.000 He's a different dude.

02:11:23.000 Yeah, that was normal size athlete Barry Bonds.

02:11:27.000 But you know...

02:11:29.000 It was such a cool... 0.98

02:11:30.000 I mean, the stories of Babe Ruth are like the coolest shit I've ever heard. 0.98

02:11:34.000 Like, you can't... 0.96

02:11:35.000 Like, he was the dude. 1.00

02:11:36.000 He was like, I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna eat like shit, I'm gonna gamble, I'm gonna fuck a million women, and I'm gonna be the best player in the game. 0.99

02:11:44.000 But not just the best player in the game, the best player the game has ever seen at this point, like, by a mile. 1.00

02:11:49.000 He's hitting 60 homers a year, batting like 370, and he's just living like a fucking animal. 0.99

02:11:55.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:11:56.000 But then he had this sweet side where Lou Gehrig was this square.

02:12:02.000 He was a mama's boy.

02:12:04.000 He didn't go out and party.

02:12:05.000 He was very shy.

02:12:06.000 And Babe's like, ah, he's one of the best players ever.

02:12:09.000 I want to get to know him.

02:12:10.000 He'd eat at Lou Gehrig's mom's place.

02:12:12.000 He's going through a divorce. 1.00

02:12:13.000 He's fucking everyone. 1.00

02:12:14.000 He's like, I'll take a home-cooked meal. 1.00

02:12:16.000 And whenever he'd have a great interview, he'd give him his props.

02:12:19.000 He'd be like, is anyone touching my record?

02:12:22.000 No.

02:12:22.000 Except maybe this guy.

02:12:24.000 He'd put him over. 0.99

02:12:25.000 He was not just the best player and a fucking animal, but he was class. 1.00

02:12:30.000 I love that historical American shit. 1.00

02:12:34.000 You know, but... 1.00

02:12:35.000 Look at him.

02:12:35.000 Oh, dude, he's so cool.

02:12:37.000 Look, like, that dude, look at him! 0.95

02:12:38.000 And he was fucking fast! 0.98

02:12:40.000 Look at his face! 1.00

02:12:41.000 That is a drinker's face, boy.

02:12:43.000 Oh, he put him back. 1.00

02:12:43.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:12:44.000 Oh, baseball in this era is kind of cool, and then, like, you got, like, the DiMaggio, like... 0.99

02:12:49.000 DiMaggio never was cool with Mantle, which is fucked up, because, like, he just looked at him as a waste. 0.60

02:12:54.000 He was like, you're a drinker, you never reach your talent. 0.99

02:12:56.000 Was mean to him till his death.

02:12:58.000 Really?

02:12:58.000 Till his death was not cool to him.

02:13:00.000 Wow.

02:13:00.000 Because he was so...

02:13:01.000 DiMaggio's so pure. 0.99

02:13:02.000 Man, we're talking about the fucking Kennedys earlier. 1.00

02:13:04.000 Blames RFK for killing his fucking Marilyn. 1.00

02:13:08.000 Yeah, probably did. 1.00

02:13:09.000 Probably.

02:13:10.000 Probably did.

02:13:11.000 And he blames Sinatra for introducing her to the Kennedys. 1.00

02:13:17.000 It's like all that fucking Italian shit where he's like, you fucking traitor. 1.00

02:13:20.000 Yeah, he loved Marilyn. 1.00

02:13:22.000 Apparently he left flowers on her grave to the day she died.

02:13:26.000 But he left her.

02:13:26.000 He left her?

02:13:27.000 Because she couldn't procreate. 1.00

02:13:29.000 What?

02:13:30.000 Italians needed air. 0.99

02:13:31.000 Really?

02:13:31.000 Yeah.

02:13:32.000 She couldn't procreate? 1.00

02:13:33.000 Yeah.

02:13:33.000 Oh, she had something wrong?

02:13:34.000 Yeah.

02:13:35.000 Oh, I didn't know that part.

02:13:36.000 So he left her, but he's like, I mean, he's like one of the most badass humans ever.

02:13:41.000 I mean, just like, it's crazy these dudes lost their career because they had to serve in the war. 0.97

02:13:45.000 Like, isn't that just fucking insane? 0.92

02:13:46.000 Ted Williams decorated fighter pilot because in his prime, Ted Williams has to go and he's like killing dudes in the war because he's like one of the best in the Air Force. 0.88

02:13:54.000 And meanwhile, DiMaggio is doing like, he's doing like exhibition games, but he still lost his prime because like we're at war and that's what you did back then. 0.99

02:14:01.000 But, like, Ted Williams had, like, 20-10 vision, so he's fucking a beast. 1.00

02:14:05.000 No shit. 1.00

02:14:06.000 Not just the best hitter ever. 1.00

02:14:07.000 Ted Williams is also fucking murdering dudes. 0.99

02:14:10.000 Wow. 1.00

02:14:11.000 That's crazy.

02:14:13.000 Well, that makes sense why Ted Williams is so angry all the time, too.

02:14:16.000 You know?

02:14:17.000 Because those stories, they leave that out.

02:14:19.000 He was always angry. 0.99

02:14:20.000 He fucking had to go to war. 0.99

02:14:22.000 Everyone. 0.99

02:14:22.000 J.D. Salinger. 0.99

02:14:24.000 That's right. 0.99

02:14:24.000 They're all fucking damaged from the war. 0.99

02:14:26.000 That's right. 0.99

02:14:27.000 That whole generation.

02:14:28.000 They're the greatest generation. 1.00

02:14:29.000 They're pretty fucked up. 0.99

02:14:31.000 Yeah, I mean, think about how many of our former presidents served. 1.00

02:14:34.000 You know?

02:14:35.000 Kennedy.

02:14:36.000 That's what you did.

02:14:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:14:37.000 George W. Or H. H. W. Yeah.

02:14:40.000 He got shot down.

02:14:41.000 No, the other one was cheerleading.

02:14:43.000 But, uh...

02:14:46.000 Isn't it funny that we look at him now as like, I wish our president was like that.

02:14:51.000 Meanwhile, back then, he was like this embarrassment. 0.99

02:14:53.000 I always said that once you start painting, shit's gone off the rails. 0.98

02:14:57.000 Well, when it's over and you start painting, you're just trying to get away the horrible memories of all the people that died unnecessarily because of your decisions. 0.99

02:15:04.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:15:04.000 I mean, if you're George W., and you're sitting around your ranch in Texas, and no one's around, you're sitting there sipping sweet tea, thinking about a million dead Iraqis for some bullshit weapons of mass destruction that didn't even exist. 0.95

02:15:20.000 Whew. 0.98

02:15:20.000 You didn't need to do that. 0.98

02:15:22.000 No, he would be the saddest guy to do mushrooms with.

02:15:25.000 If you had to pick all the presidents to do mushrooms with, he would be the saddest because he would just start crying.

02:15:31.000 Because he's got to be sensitive.

02:15:33.000 He makes all those great paintings.

02:15:34.000 Not great paintings.

02:15:35.000 Makes all those paintings.

02:15:36.000 You know, he's got to be sensitive.

02:15:37.000 He's an artist.

02:15:39.000 He's an artist.

02:15:41.000 Loosely, we're using that term.

02:15:42.000 He's not out there shooting pigs out of a helicopter.

02:15:44.000 No. 1.00

02:15:45.000 He's, you know, doing, like, sensitive shit. 0.99

02:15:47.000 So you know he's thinking. 0.99

02:15:48.000 So he's probably thinking, like, what did I do? 1.00

02:15:50.000 What did I let that fucking Dick Cheney monster talk me into? 1.00

02:15:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:55.000 Two terms.

02:15:56.000 Two terms.

02:15:57.000 Two terms, and now we look back and go, that was a sensible president.

02:16:01.000 You know what?

02:16:02.000 You even look at those clips of Obama and Mitt Romney debating, and you're like, man, that was like 12 years ago, and it was so civil.

02:16:08.000 Not just civil.

02:16:09.000 Like, super friendly. 0.75

02:16:11.000 They weren't shitting on each other at all.

02:16:13.000 They're cordial.

02:16:14.000 They were just trying to debate the merits of their approach to the world.

02:16:19.000 McCain was the same way.

02:16:20.000 He wasn't that long ago.

02:16:21.000 I mean, I remember that clip where that woman was like, he's a Muslim, and McCain's like, no, he's trying to like...

02:16:27.000 Like, that's dead.

02:16:28.000 That moment's over.

02:16:29.000 It doesn't have to be.

02:16:31.000 I think it'll come back at some point. 0.98

02:16:33.000 I think there's a limit to this shit and it's gonna have to swing back to civility at some point. 0.99

02:16:38.000 Yeah, I think so too. 0.99

02:16:39.000 I hope so.

02:16:40.000 I hope people realize the damage it's doing to us and that it's not helping anybody.

02:16:44.000 But the problem is social media.

02:16:46.000 The problem is it's like...

02:16:47.000 Social media and people's ability to constantly berate other people and constantly engage in these squabbles online and try to get people and post bad things.

02:16:57.000 Soundbites.

02:16:58.000 Dunking on someone's killing...

02:16:59.000 I remember when...

02:17:00.000 I forgot her name, but you'll know who she is.

02:17:03.000 There's a Hewlett Packard woman who was running for president. 1.00

02:17:06.000 You know who I'm talking about, right?

02:17:08.000 She was running in...

02:17:10.000 It was 2016 for the Republican primary.

02:17:13.000 And at the debate, like, she basically said that Trump called her ugly. 0.77

02:17:17.000 And it was like this big, like, we need a president who doesn't, like, speak like this.

02:17:22.000 Cara Carlton?

02:17:23.000 Carly Furina, that's who it was.

02:17:24.000 And I thought there was, like, this big moment where I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't talk to women like that. 1.00

02:17:28.000 That's pretty fucked up. 0.99

02:17:29.000 And then Trump immediately, like, got everyone back. 1.00

02:17:31.000 I was like, once he destroyed Jeb Bush, it was like, Yeah, the soundbites are working, so why are you going to stop doing this?

02:17:37.000 Well, that's also his entire career was, you're fired.

02:17:40.000 His entire show business career was, you're fired. 1.00

02:17:43.000 He was like the horror, get out of here, you're a loser. 1.00

02:17:46.000 You're fat, you're ugly, you're a crook. 1.00

02:17:49.000 It's very New York. 1.00

02:17:50.000 It's kind of like a trashy New York guy where you're like, you fucking nobody. 0.98

02:17:55.000 Well, politics is basically show business, and he was a professional showbiz guy. 0.99

02:18:00.000 Yeah.

02:18:00.000 So he was way better at show business.

02:18:03.000 Because politics is basically a popularity contest.

02:18:06.000 That was the first guy that was an actual popular person that entered into the popularity contest and actually knew how to manipulate the media. 0.97

02:18:14.000 And by saying ridiculous shit all the time, whether or not it was on purpose or not, that's what got all these news organizations to start following him, and that just made him more popular. 0.97

02:18:24.000 They thought they were exposing him. 1.00

02:18:25.000 Like, look what he said about the Mexicans.

02:18:27.000 But nobody cared. 0.83

02:18:28.000 Like, this guy's wild.

02:18:30.000 This is so much better than what we're used to.

02:18:33.000 The problem is other people were just not used to TV, right?

02:18:36.000 So they're just sticking to a script.

02:18:38.000 And when he goes off script, he was more comfortable.

02:18:40.000 And he saw how... 1.00

02:18:41.000 It was like a fucking boxing match. 1.00

02:18:42.000 They were just like, what the fuck's he doing? 1.00

02:18:44.000 Also, he's like a comic. 0.99

02:18:46.000 Like, when...

02:18:47.000 Who was it that asked him the question?

02:18:50.000 Um...

02:18:53.000 Who was it?

02:18:54.000 Megyn Kelly?

02:18:56.000 Was it Megyn Kelly that asked him the question?

02:18:58.000 Yeah, it was.

02:18:59.000 At the debates, you've said horrible things about women. 0.97

02:19:02.000 You've called them fat. 1.00

02:19:03.000 You've called them pigs. 1.00

02:19:04.000 He goes, only Rosie O'Donnell. 0.98

02:19:06.000 It's a punchline.

02:19:06.000 Got a big pop.

02:19:07.000 It crushes.

02:19:08.000 It crushes.

02:19:09.000 And you see her just like, oh my god.

02:19:13.000 What did I set him up?

02:19:14.000 I lobbed one his way and he just knocked it into the parking lot. 1.00

02:19:17.000 Fastball over the fucking plate. 0.99

02:19:19.000 He just crushed it. 1.00

02:19:20.000 His thing is so different.

02:19:26.000 She thought she had them here.

02:19:31.000 Only Rosie O'Donnell. 0.90

02:19:35.000 He's smiling.

02:19:36.000 He was proud of that one.

02:19:38.000 They're all clapping and cheering!

02:19:41.000 What do you expect her to do here? 0.99

02:19:47.000 Thank you.

02:19:48.000 Hold the laugh! 0.99

02:19:55.000 I mean, Jesus Christ.

02:19:56.000 Yes, I'm sure it was.

02:19:57.000 Yes, I'm sure it was.

02:19:59.000 It's amazing.

02:19:59.000 Well, the guy's a character in a movie.

02:20:02.000 Yeah.

02:20:03.000 It doesn't seem real.

02:20:04.000 I said yesterday, I hope it's not a Stephen King movie.

02:20:07.000 But, you know, remember the Stephen King movie about the guy, like he shakes hands with the guy that's going to be present?

02:20:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:20:12.000 Yeah, Martin Sheen, wasn't that?

02:20:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:20:15.000 That's a great movie.

02:20:15.000 It's a great movie.

02:20:16.000 Chris Walken?

02:20:17.000 Yes, great movie. 1.00

02:20:18.000 Yeah, that ending, that fucking oof. 1.00

02:20:20.000 Oof, yeah. 1.00

02:20:21.000 Stephen King's made some good fucking shit. 1.00

02:20:23.000 Oh my god, get him back on coke. 1.00

02:20:25.000 Get him back on coke, give him Budweiser. 1.00

02:20:27.000 And a wide range of shit. 1.00

02:20:28.000 It's like, you're telling me this guy did that, Shawshank, and Misery? 1.00

02:20:31.000 Yeah, Stand By Me.

02:20:32.000 Stand By Me's great.

02:20:33.000 I just watched it the other day with my family.

02:20:35.000 Me too.

02:20:35.000 It was amazing.

02:20:36.000 That last line fucked me. 1.00

02:20:38.000 It always fucks me up when he's like, none of us had friends when we were 12. I'm like, fuck you, Richard Dreyfuss. 1.00

02:20:43.000 Yeah, this is the thing he holds his hand and he realizes... 1.00

02:20:46.000 Yeah, they did a great SNL parody of this.

02:20:48.000 Yeah, this guy's gonna be Hitler. 1.00

02:20:51.000 He's gonna be the one who kills us all. 1.00

02:20:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:20:54.000 Pressing the button.

02:20:55.000 Yeah, that's a good movie, man. 0.99

02:20:57.000 That was scary as fuck. 1.00

02:20:58.000 Well, that's what they're always trying to scare us about with Trump, that he's gonna do that and start World War III and kill us all. 0.99

02:21:03.000 But the problem is, This administration looks like they're on the verge of starting us into World War III, and when Trump was in office, that didn't happen.

02:21:12.000 And here's the thing that they need to address.

02:21:13.000 Everybody keeps saying, he's going to be a dictator, he's going to do that.

02:21:16.000 That would be more sellable if we didn't have four years of him actually being the president and doing none of those things.

02:21:22.000 Right.

02:21:23.000 I mean, the thing is, hindsight's everything, right?

02:21:25.000 Like, you look back, like, people said the same thing about, like, everyone hated Eisenhower, but then you look back and you're like, these weren't bad times, you know?

02:21:32.000 Yeah.

02:21:33.000 So, with Trump, with any, look, we all want to avoid World War III. That's, I think, I would hope.

02:21:39.000 At all costs. 0.99

02:21:40.000 Part of me is, like, maybe Trump is such a fucking narcissist that he doesn't want the world to end. 0.99

02:21:45.000 Yeah, because he wants to do well while he's in charge. 0.99

02:21:47.000 Yeah.

02:21:48.000 Yeah.

02:21:48.000 That's good.

02:21:49.000 Maybe.

02:21:49.000 I don't know.

02:21:49.000 For whatever motivation, whatever fuck it takes you to keep us from killing each other.

02:21:53.000 He does terrify me. 1.00

02:21:54.000 I don't fucking feel, like, safe with him as a president. 0.97

02:21:58.000 Do you feel safe with Biden as a president, though? 0.98

02:21:59.000 No.

02:21:59.000 Of course not.

02:22:00.000 The country's in shambles. 0.99

02:22:01.000 Things are fucking bad. 0.99

02:22:04.000 I don't feel safe with anybody as president. 1.00

02:22:06.000 I don't buy their narrative. 0.99

02:22:09.000 When you find out that they lied about Russiagate for fucking six years. 0.98

02:22:13.000 That was the beginning of the end. 0.95

02:22:15.000 When that's your whole thing, the Steele dossier is your whole thing, that was really the undoing of a lot of cable news, I think.

02:22:23.000 They thought they could get away with it because they have gotten away with it before, which makes you think, how many of the stories, other than the ones we know about, like the weapons of mass destruction and all the... 0.98

02:22:32.000 How many of the stories were bullshit? 0.99

02:22:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:22:34.000 How many of the stories that ruined the lives of countless millions of people? 1.00

02:22:38.000 How many of those stories were bullshit? 0.99

02:22:40.000 You can't go all in on a bad hand and they did it again and again. 1.00

02:22:44.000 And again and again. 0.99

02:22:45.000 And you gotta make sure you have a fucking royal flush. 0.99

02:22:48.000 But dude, they did it with me with the COVID thing. 0.99

02:22:50.000 With the ivermectin thing.

02:22:51.000 They did it with me.

02:22:52.000 Well, they did it with a lot of things.

02:22:52.000 They did, but the COVID one was crazy because they were all coordinated calling it horse dewormer.

02:22:57.000 Right.

02:22:57.000 It's like every news organization was calling it horse dewormer and trying to mock me like...

02:23:02.000 Hey guys, I can talk too. 1.00

02:23:04.000 Like, are you fucking stupid? 1.00

02:23:06.000 But their whole game up until social media and up until podcasts was they were the only ones talking. 1.00

02:23:12.000 So they could set a narrative and no one could do anything about it.

02:23:15.000 They could decide that you're a this or you're a that and then they push that out there and that was the end of it.

02:23:20.000 Then you got labeled as this or that.

02:23:22.000 But with podcasts, podcasts got bigger than them and they hadn't realized it yet.

02:23:27.000 By a lot.

02:23:27.000 I mean, that's the thing is, you know, I saw your thing with Sanjay Gupta, and he seemed apologetic, you know, but...

02:23:34.000 Sorta.

02:23:35.000 Until he left.

02:23:36.000 Really?

02:23:37.000 Yeah, he left and went and talked to Don Lemon, and Don Lemon was still saying the same, but it is used for horses.

02:23:42.000 It is a dewormer for horses.

02:23:44.000 He's my neighbor.

02:23:44.000 I saw him drunk on the street the other day.

02:23:47.000 Ah!

02:23:48.000 Friendliest guy.

02:23:49.000 I mean, he goes, I just saw Mark Norman at the Beacon.

02:23:51.000 And I was like, alright, you know?

02:23:52.000 He was talking to you?

02:23:53.000 Yeah, he said, what's up to me on the street?

02:23:55.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:23:55.000 Yeah, and he goes, I just saw Mark Norman at the Beacon.

02:23:57.000 It was a great show.

02:23:58.000 I was like, what?

02:23:58.000 Well, I'm sure he's probably okay.

02:24:01.000 Yeah, he just seemed like a nice guy.

02:24:02.000 He was stuck in a bad situation, a bad position that corrupts everyone.

02:24:06.000 It's bad for everybody.

02:24:07.000 Everyone on that network was terrible.

02:24:09.000 They were all propagandists.

02:24:11.000 It's weird to think about how fortunate the generations were when, like, news wasn't constant.

02:24:16.000 You gotta break.

02:24:17.000 Right.

02:24:18.000 Colin Quinn's got a great bit now.

02:24:19.000 Like, you go to the bathroom and you're like, what did I miss?

02:24:22.000 Right, right, right. 0.98

02:24:22.000 I mean, but that's fucking bad for the world. 0.98

02:24:25.000 Like, I miss, you know, even back in the day, like, it was on twice a day, you know. 0.94

02:24:30.000 Right.

02:24:30.000 It was over.

02:24:31.000 You got, like, Simpsons reruns and you're like, all right, shit's peaceful. 0.98

02:24:34.000 If you really wanted to go crazy, you'd read the New York Times and you'd get all the news. 0.98

02:24:37.000 Yeah.

02:24:38.000 If you really wanted, but who did that?

02:24:39.000 Very few people do that. 0.61

02:24:40.000 Yeah, but most people that, you know, weren't terrified of everything, weren't reading everything that's going on in fucking Sudan and what's going on in Asia, what's going on here and there.

02:24:50.000 And now it's like we're being inundated by all of the bad news, because the bad news is the stuff that really gets people captivated.

02:24:56.000 So it's all the bad news of the entire world and none of the good news.

02:25:00.000 It's like the most distorted version of reality ever.

02:25:03.000 All the bad news.

02:25:04.000 And then you go out and you talk to people and you're like, are we that divided?

02:25:07.000 I think that's kind of what I feel.

02:25:09.000 Just touring the country, I feel...

02:25:12.000 The interactions I have with people are good and solid.

02:25:15.000 But we also have to remember those are comedy fans, which are the people that are going to be the most reasonable.

02:25:20.000 The people that's looking for the humor in things.

02:25:23.000 You know, not saying, there's a transgenocide!

02:25:25.000 They're not going to come to your show.

02:25:26.000 The transgenocide people are not going to come to your show. 1.00

02:25:29.000 So it's the people that are, you know, they're kind of realizing, like, we need humor.

02:25:34.000 Humor is an important part of civilization.

02:25:37.000 Yeah.

02:25:37.000 But I don't even mean just comedy.

02:25:39.000 You interact with people at restaurants or whoever you see on the street. 0.98

02:25:43.000 For the most part, I've had two fights on the road, like arguments, and it's fucking quick. 1.00

02:25:49.000 It's usually over bullshit. 0.99

02:25:52.000 Gary Veeder and I are very... 0.99

02:25:55.000 We're both New Yorkers, so it's like we can't help but do a confrontation. 0.99

02:25:59.000 There was a woman being berated at my fucking... 1.00

02:26:01.000 We were at the gate at a morning flight at Columbus, and a woman was just yelling at a fucking TSA agent who was just doing her job. 1.00

02:26:07.000 She had nothing wrong. 1.00

02:26:08.000 But it was a woman with two kids with her, and she goes, you're an idiot. 1.00

02:26:12.000 Wow, you're so dumb. 1.00

02:26:13.000 And we're just looking at each other like, it's 8 a.m., we're barely awake, but it's pretty fucked up, right? 1.00

02:26:17.000 And we're like, yeah, that's really mean. 1.00

02:26:19.000 And she just kept going, you're so dumb. 1.00

02:26:21.000 I'm gonna get you fired. 1.00

02:26:22.000 And then finally we're just like, hey, I just go, lady, enough. 0.96

02:26:24.000 And Gary goes, you're a nobody.

02:26:26.000 Like, that's how he does.

02:26:27.000 He's like a New York kid.

02:26:28.000 Wow. 1.00

02:26:29.000 And she turns around, she goes, fuck you, you're short to Gary. 1.00

02:26:32.000 Wow. 1.00

02:26:32.000 And he goes, you should see me without my shirt on. 1.00

02:26:35.000 I was like, we had her.

02:26:36.000 What are you doing?

02:26:37.000 Why did he say you should see me without my shirt on?

02:26:39.000 Because he works out.

02:26:40.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:26:41.000 But I'm like, dude, we're comics. 1.00

02:26:42.000 We could kill this woman. 1.00

02:26:44.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

02:26:44.000 You should have taken the shirt off. 1.00

02:26:46.000 Should've got down in his underwear.

02:26:48.000 They probably would've arrested him for terrorism.

02:26:49.000 But we were laughing, and the woman was like, thank you. 0.83

02:26:53.000 But I'm like, when do we ever fight with people? 0.96

02:26:56.000 Occasionally we do that shit, but most people are so cool that you meet. 0.96

02:27:00.000 Most people... 0.99

02:27:04.000 I miss small towns, like you'll go to Appleton, and they don't talk politics.

02:27:09.000 They're living in 1994, and it's rude to talk politics.

02:27:13.000 And you're like, we keep that to yourself. 0.99

02:27:15.000 And I'm like, man, I almost missed that point in time when it was like, you just led with other shit. 0.98

02:27:20.000 That wasn't your whole... 0.96

02:27:21.000 Sure, we make fun of people sometimes who are like, these are my pronouns, but isn't it equally kind of annoying with people who lead with their political affiliation?

02:27:28.000 Just as bad.

02:27:29.000 I would say worse.

02:27:30.000 Or their diet, or their exercise routine, or yoga.

02:27:34.000 Anything.

02:27:34.000 Or anything.

02:27:35.000 Like some people, they're just always trying to define themselves to you.

02:27:38.000 Yeah.

02:27:39.000 They always want to define themselves in a very nice way.

02:27:42.000 So you're just one thing?

02:27:43.000 Yeah.

02:27:44.000 That's all you are?

02:27:45.000 So I do kind of miss those types of people who are like, hey, let's bond over something else other than the world ending.

02:27:52.000 Yeah, but when people don't have any legitimate conflict in their life, they manufacture conflict.

02:27:58.000 And they have to trauma bond with you.

02:28:00.000 Ugh.

02:28:01.000 God!

02:28:02.000 Yeah, I have PTSD from the last four years when Trump was in office.

02:28:06.000 I can't do this again.

02:28:08.000 I'm moving to Canada. 0.69

02:28:08.000 Ted Williams killed people. 0.69

02:28:09.000 By the way, I know, exactly. 1.00

02:28:12.000 Not to mention, like, I'm moving to Canada, and I'm like, you think Canada just wants all of our fucking whiners? 0.99

02:28:19.000 Yeah, listen, not only that, but Canada has, like, ridiculous free speech laws. 0.99

02:28:23.000 They have hate speech laws.

02:28:24.000 They can come down on you for a lot of things.

02:28:26.000 They seized up the bank accounts of people that were protesting the truckers.

02:28:29.000 Oh, that was a fun time.

02:28:30.000 The people that were donating to the truckers, they seized their bank accounts.

02:28:33.000 Like, yeah, that's not a good place.

02:28:36.000 It's not a good place under this administration, at least.

02:28:38.000 Yeah, where do you go?

02:28:39.000 They went sideways.

02:28:40.000 Canada was an amazing place 10 years ago.

02:28:42.000 You go to Canada 10 years ago, it was awesome.

02:28:44.000 I was always saying that I love Canada. 0.65

02:28:45.000 It's like 20% less douchebags.

02:28:47.000 What do you like in Canada?

02:28:48.000 I love Montreal.

02:28:50.000 It's beautiful.

02:28:50.000 Montreal's amazing.

02:28:51.000 Beautiful city.

02:28:52.000 I love Toronto.

02:28:53.000 I love Vancouver.

02:28:53.000 I love Canada.

02:28:54.000 Vancouver's one of the most beautiful cities.

02:28:56.000 I don't go to Canada anymore.

02:28:57.000 Ever?

02:28:58.000 No.

02:28:58.000 You want to do a gig there?

02:28:59.000 Not while that guy's president. 1.00

02:29:00.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:29:01.000 Or whatever he is. 1.00

02:29:02.000 Prime minister.

02:29:03.000 These people are fans of yours.

02:29:04.000 They want to see you still. 1.00

02:29:05.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:29:05.000 Get rid of that guy. 1.00

02:29:06.000 I'll come back.

02:29:07.000 I just don't trust any of it up there.

02:29:10.000 I just think they're so far into tyranny right now. 0.96

02:29:13.000 The laws that they're passing, the shit that they're doing, the erosion of people's rights, I don't want to support it. 1.00

02:29:19.000 I think it's fucking horrible. 0.99

02:29:20.000 Yeah, but I think a lot of people there just want to laugh. 0.99

02:29:22.000 I think people need a laugh.

02:29:24.000 Oh yeah, they definitely need a laugh.

02:29:26.000 They're in the middle of a full-blown communist takeover.

02:29:29.000 Yeah.

02:29:30.000 It's a scary spot.

02:29:31.000 Yeah.

02:29:32.000 It's scary.

02:29:33.000 But it used to be amazing. 0.94

02:29:35.000 I used to say that Canada's 20% less douchebags. 0.94

02:29:38.000 Like, the people are 20% nicer than most people that you meet in America. 0.57

02:29:41.000 Yeah, they're polite. 1.00

02:29:42.000 That's why they get roped into all this shit. 0.98

02:29:44.000 That's why they get roped into hate speech laws, because they want to be kind. 0.99

02:29:47.000 They want to be good people.

02:29:48.000 And they don't realize, like, compelled speech has a terrible ending.

02:29:52.000 It always ends in communism, because someone has to compel that speech.

02:29:54.000 Who does?

02:29:55.000 The people with guns.

02:29:56.000 And they tell you what to do.

02:29:57.000 And then you have violence that is enforced to get people to follow a doctrine that they may or may not believe in.

02:30:05.000 Yeah, I think you just gotta be pro-free speech. 0.96

02:30:09.000 I mean, for all the awful shit people can say, you still just have to be pro-free speech. 0.87

02:30:13.000 That's Elon's take on it, you know? 0.98

02:30:15.000 And that's what they're doing with Twitter.

02:30:16.000 Well, the weird thing about Twitter now is like... 0.89

02:30:19.000 For all the shit people will say about Elon, I think like, look at the other social media platforms. 0.82

02:30:25.000 Everything gets, anything, there's like trigger words. 0.99

02:30:27.000 They'll be like, you said the word Nazi.

02:30:29.000 I'm like, yeah, I condemn them in a joke.

02:30:30.000 And they're like, well, it got buried because you said that. 1.00

02:30:33.000 And you're like, cool, that feels like some Nazi shit. 0.99

02:30:35.000 I can't use irony. 0.99

02:30:37.000 I can't be sarcastic.

02:30:39.000 That's the evil of like, I think, when they bury, you are, it's a different type of censorship, but you are, you know, It's really weird because Twitter used to be the worst place for that.

02:31:10.000 Twitter was the place where the FBI literally, like the whole Twitter files when Elon took over, and they had Matt Taibbi and Michael Schellenberger and all these guys like investigating.

02:31:19.000 When they went into it and they were like, oh my god, the government was literally trying to stop legitimate professors at Stanford and people at Harvard and MIT from talking about their area of expertise.

02:31:34.000 They were trying to label them as kooks and get them kicked off of Twitter. 0.97

02:31:37.000 The whole thing was fucking bananas. 0.99

02:31:39.000 And if he didn't buy Twitter... 0.99

02:31:42.000 People used to get their accounts suspended a lot on Twitter, remember that?

02:31:44.000 All the time.

02:31:45.000 But now it's more like Instagram. 0.82

02:31:47.000 TikTok's ridiculous, obviously.

02:31:49.000 I mean, that one is like, good luck. 1.00

02:31:51.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.92

02:31:52.000 But even YouTube has kind of changed a little bit. 0.98

02:31:54.000 I mean, YouTube is...

02:31:56.000 Everyone's changing is my thing but YouTube is like it's kind of shocking like my issue is like they keep moving the goalpost in but there's no guidebook they're not telling any of us what's not okay they're just kind of making up the rules as they go along and they ban people's accounts they don't even tell them why it's kind of your account is violated our terms of service and then that's it and then you have no recourse and you spend a lot of time and money building up these platforms and they're like sorry yep well that's it's pretty fucked up because you know especially now during the election During the election time,

02:32:26.000 now they're really clamping down on that. 0.92

02:32:29.000 And there's a lot of people getting shadow banned, allegedly.

02:32:32.000 And then there was a thing that Elon just released where he said that European governments, they were saying that they would be willing to give them money to have certain platforms censor certain political speech.

02:32:45.000 And Elon was the only one who said no.

02:32:47.000 And he talked about it publicly.

02:32:49.000 He said these other groups, these other social media platforms complied.

02:32:54.000 And I'm telling you about this.

02:32:55.000 You need to know.

02:32:57.000 It's pretty weird because they just keep moving the goalposts in.

02:33:03.000 I mean, it's bad.

02:33:04.000 I see comics now kind of working toward the algorithm and it is bad for entertainment and for art and stuff like that. 0.93

02:33:11.000 And I get annoyed when comics are just like shocking for the sake of being shocking and lazy, but I don't think they should be fucking silenced. 0.91

02:33:17.000 Yeah.

02:33:17.000 They shouldn't be silenced, but you're always going to have people that try things that don't work out, right?

02:33:21.000 Especially in an open-ended art form like comedy, where you're the writer, you're the producer, you're the editor, and you're delivering it.

02:33:28.000 So you're everything.

02:33:29.000 You're the whole thing. 1.00

02:33:30.000 And you're fucking around, and you're trying to come up with ways. 0.99

02:33:33.000 Maybe you're desperate, so you try to figure out a way to juke the system and try to figure out a way to get your stuff seen and heard. 0.99

02:33:40.000 And you say things you might not even mean, but you think it's going to be good.

02:33:43.000 It'll work.

02:33:44.000 It's a little tool for you.

02:33:45.000 And you're trying. 1.00

02:33:46.000 And those guys, you know, they're not our favorite, the guys that do stupid shit like that. 1.00

02:33:53.000 But they should exist. 1.00

02:33:54.000 Yeah, they exist, but maybe they can get better one day.

02:33:57.000 A lot of us sucked in the beginning and better now.

02:34:00.000 And over time, learn. 0.90

02:34:01.000 You keep working at it.

02:34:03.000 And it's an open-ended thing.

02:34:05.000 You eventually figure it out.

02:34:06.000 You were talking about last night.

02:34:08.000 There's guys that it takes them a minute.

02:34:09.000 Yeah.

02:34:10.000 And it should take you a minute.

02:34:12.000 I think a lot of the comics don't hit their stride until they hit like 40. Yeah.

02:34:16.000 Right.

02:34:16.000 Yeah, because you actually develop a nuanced take on life.

02:34:19.000 You've had a bunch of bad relationships, you've had a bunch of bad business deals, you've been fucked over by clubs. 0.98

02:34:24.000 Bad is good for comedy. 0.99

02:34:25.000 Yes! 1.00

02:34:25.000 Your life, anytime bad happens to me, I'm like, fuck, it's a bit. 1.00

02:34:29.000 Here we go. 0.99

02:34:30.000 Isn't that crazy that, like, it's such a beautiful thing that something horrible can go wrong?

02:34:34.000 I remember the first time I did your show, I took me three flights to get to a gig that I missed, and I'm like, that's like my opener in my new special, you know?

02:34:41.000 It's like this long story, this hell travel day, and I'm like, this sucks, but we're very fortunate to have this outlet for that, you know?

02:34:52.000 Yeah, and I think, just me, if I didn't do it, if I never did comedy again, or if I never had done it, I still would love it.

02:34:58.000 It's one of my favorite things to watch, because it takes you away.

02:35:02.000 It puts you in this place, and it's like a drug.

02:35:05.000 Like, it makes you feel better.

02:35:07.000 You know, when someone's on stage killing, and you're laughing, you're like, ah!

02:35:10.000 You feel better.

02:35:12.000 It's an amazing feeling to laugh at something.

02:35:15.000 To be able to do that for a living, we're the luckiest people alive, dude.

02:35:18.000 I was just on Burt's Fully Loaded thing.

02:35:20.000 It's so fun, dude.

02:35:21.000 It was such a good group of people, and he turned into an adult summer camp.

02:35:24.000 He's bringing ice plunges.

02:35:25.000 He brought a personal trainer.

02:35:26.000 We're doing batting practice during the day. 0.98

02:35:29.000 One day, Chad Daniels and I are fucking hooping dudes. 0.99

02:35:31.000 I'm like, this is fucking fun. 0.98

02:35:33.000 Me, Burt, Kyle Kinane are surfing. 0.98

02:35:36.000 We're hungover.

02:35:37.000 I'm like, we're going to puke in the water.

02:35:41.000 I remember one night, I'm just watching Dave Attell on stage.

02:35:43.000 I was like...

02:35:44.000 Oh, this is, like, the best.

02:35:46.000 Like, you just get to, like...

02:35:47.000 He's, like, one dude that, like, brings me back to, like, forgetting.

02:35:50.000 Like, oh, yeah.

02:35:51.000 It's so pure funny.

02:35:53.000 It's, like...

02:35:53.000 Yeah.

02:35:53.000 It's not, like, anything, no agenda.

02:35:55.000 It's just pure jokes.

02:35:56.000 And you're, like, oh, yeah. 1.00

02:35:57.000 He had that joke about, like, fucking... 0.99

02:35:59.000 But me, I'm a Biden man. 1.00

02:36:01.000 Hunter Biden. 0.97

02:36:02.000 And, like, that's, like, a fucking great bait-and-switch, you know? 0.98

02:36:05.000 Or, like... 0.97

02:36:05.000 Or the joke about, like, I got hit by a guy on a city bike the other day. 0.97

02:36:09.000 It was my fault.

02:36:10.000 I was on the sidewalk.

02:36:11.000 Yeah.

02:36:11.000 And they're just like pure silly jokes and you're just like transported to like being a kid.

02:36:16.000 I remember seeing him as a kid at Caroline's and being like, oh, this is what it's all about. 0.96

02:36:19.000 Yeah, he's just trying to be silly. 0.96

02:36:21.000 And he's the best at it. 0.98

02:36:23.000 And he's another guy that just doesn't...

02:36:25.000 He's not a promoter, right?

02:36:27.000 So he's not as popular as he really should be based on how good he is.

02:36:31.000 And it's kind of up to us to let everybody know...

02:36:34.000 I always feel obligated to let everybody know.

02:36:36.000 When he was at the club, I came and watched one of his sets.

02:36:40.000 I sat for the whole set, which I don't ordinarily do.

02:36:42.000 I came in on a night where I wasn't working just to watch. 0.96

02:36:45.000 It was fucking awesome. 0.91

02:36:47.000 And after it, I couldn't wait to do stand-up again. 0.94

02:36:49.000 I was like, I can't wait to go on stage.

02:36:51.000 He's so quick.

02:36:52.000 There was one time I used to go through the audience to the bathroom at the Comedy Cellar, and three dudes came out at the same time all wearing glasses, and he goes, what is that, a nerd portal? 0.98

02:37:02.000 To come up with that line off the cuff, I'm like, God, he's fucking good at this. 0.58

02:37:05.000 Yeah, he's always fast off the cuff. 0.95

02:37:07.000 Like, he does that thing at the end where he brings comics on stage.

02:37:10.000 Terrifying.

02:37:11.000 Terrifying, because he also...

02:37:12.000 Because he's Obi-Wan.

02:37:13.000 He's Obi-Wan.

02:37:14.000 He's the Jedi.

02:37:15.000 And on top of that, he's loose, because he's been killing for 45 minutes.

02:37:18.000 Yeah.

02:37:19.000 And then he brings you on stage.

02:37:20.000 You know, so it's kind of unfair.

02:37:22.000 You're cold.

02:37:23.000 You're in the bag.

02:37:23.000 Like, hey, Dave, grab a mic.

02:37:25.000 Okay, hey. 0.99

02:37:26.000 And he shits on you if you don't say anything funny. 1.00

02:37:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:37:28.000 Yeah, he's awesome.

02:37:29.000 He's so good. 1.00

02:37:30.000 Yeah, he'll fuck with you. 1.00

02:37:32.000 He's great. 1.00

02:37:33.000 I love that though.

02:37:34.000 When you're like, few comics were like, usually I'm watching it and I'm being like, good joke.

02:37:39.000 I like that.

02:37:40.000 That was cool. 0.98

02:37:40.000 But he's like one of the only dudes that I'm like, holy shit, I'm just like giggling. 0.98

02:37:44.000 This is so stupid. 1.00

02:37:44.000 I feel like a kid. 1.00

02:37:45.000 It's also all he cares about and all he does.

02:37:48.000 He gets up in the morning, he reads the paper, he smokes cigarettes, he writes jokes.

02:37:52.000 And when he goes to a town, he always has new jokes about the town.

02:37:57.000 I learned that from him.

02:37:58.000 He had the local paper.

02:37:59.000 I was like, local, what are you doing?

02:38:00.000 And then we'd leave a diner at 4 a.m., and he'd order a large iced coffee to go.

02:38:05.000 I'd be like, what are you doing? 1.00

02:38:07.000 You're out of your fucking mind! 1.00

02:38:09.000 But, you know, yeah, he's just like, he's as pure a comic. 1.00

02:38:13.000 It's like, we're so lucky to have him in New York because he just like, and he's so good to the young comics.

02:38:19.000 I see the new, he'll be like, he called me and he was like, oh, I like following this new guy because he's like, he's got good stuff and he's bringing the heat.

02:38:27.000 So he's like, you know, he's aware of it.

02:38:29.000 Yeah, no, he's a national treasure, like, legitimately.

02:38:34.000 And I tell everybody, if you get a chance, like, go to his website if he even has one.

02:38:38.000 He has one.

02:38:39.000 He doesn't run it.

02:38:40.000 I remember we were doing a road gig once, and he, like, as we're driving, I was like, how do you post this picture? 0.99

02:38:44.000 He's like, oh, I don't do that shit. 0.95

02:38:45.000 Like, he has someone doing everything, you know? 1.00

02:38:47.000 Yeah.

02:38:48.000 And it's always like hilarious because it's like he just writes the caption and sends a bunch.

02:38:52.000 So it would be him be like, amazing weekend in like, you know, Hartford.

02:38:55.000 And he'll just be like this, like angry in the photo.

02:38:57.000 It like never matches because he sends it to another person.

02:39:00.000 But, you know, he's...

02:39:02.000 He still has a flip phone.

02:39:04.000 Yeah, he is too.

02:39:05.000 Yeah, he has an iPhone that he uses.

02:39:07.000 But he only uses the flip phone.

02:39:08.000 Most of the time when he texts you, it's like...

02:39:10.000 He was sitting here texting someone.

02:39:15.000 It was like...

02:39:15.000 I go, what are you doing?

02:39:18.000 He's sending Morse code, and I was realizing he was texting.

02:39:21.000 I'm like, oh my god, you still text like that?

02:39:22.000 Yeah.

02:39:23.000 He's old school.

02:39:24.000 Well, he went iPhone for a while, and then he realized, like, I'm too in my head with this.

02:39:28.000 He doesn't like it.

02:39:29.000 I'm gonna go back to it.

02:39:29.000 Yeah, it's the better way.

02:39:32.000 It's better.

02:39:32.000 You see it with him.

02:39:33.000 The results speak for themselves.

02:39:35.000 Yeah, you're not distracted.

02:39:37.000 I mean, Aziz went to a flip phone, too.

02:39:40.000 Did he?

02:39:40.000 Yeah, he talked about it on stage.

02:39:41.000 He was like, I got my brain back.

02:39:43.000 He goes, yeah, I can't get directions or anything like that, but I got my brain back.

02:39:46.000 He's in Europe, too.

02:39:47.000 He's like, he's totally...

02:39:48.000 Is he?

02:39:49.000 Yeah.

02:39:49.000 What is he doing?

02:39:50.000 I think his wife is in London.

02:39:52.000 I think he just moved there.

02:39:53.000 I haven't seen him forever.

02:39:54.000 Wow.

02:39:55.000 Yeah.

02:39:56.000 Well, some of those guys, you know, they just, like, they get hit hard once with a big cancellation, and you're like, what am I doing?

02:40:01.000 No, he's...

02:40:02.000 That's over.

02:40:03.000 Yeah, but I know, but, I mean, that thing changes, like, your...

02:40:06.000 It just changes your outlook on stuff.

02:40:09.000 Yeah.

02:40:10.000 No, I'm sure.

02:40:10.000 I mean, that was...

02:40:11.000 Well, when it's written on babe.net, you know it's legit.

02:40:15.000 And, uh...

02:40:17.000 Definitely.

02:40:18.000 Balanced, nuanced perspective on who he is.

02:40:22.000 Yeah, that was a weird one.

02:40:24.000 Let's wrap this up.

02:40:25.000 My brother, thank you very much for being here.

02:40:26.000 Thank you so much, man.

02:40:27.000 Let's have fun tonight.

02:40:28.000 We're going to have a good time.

02:40:29.000 I can't wait, yeah.

02:40:29.000 It's going to be exciting.

02:40:30.000 Tell everybody your social media, where to see your shit, your special. 0.99

02:40:34.000 New special, Samorell, you've changed on Prime Video. 1.00

02:40:37.000 I'm all over the road.

02:40:38.000 I got like...

02:40:39.000 Prime's doing a bunch of them now, huh?

02:40:40.000 I think a few.

02:40:41.000 I think they did a Bill Burr one.

02:40:43.000 I think Bill's doing his next one.

02:40:44.000 Hulu.

02:40:44.000 He's doing Hulu.

02:40:45.000 Oh, you're right.

02:40:46.000 A bunch of other people have done Prime, too.

02:40:47.000 A few people have done Prime.

02:40:48.000 Yeah, that was by far my best offer.

02:40:51.000 And once I saw how they treated people in the warehouse, I was like, I want to be on board.

02:40:55.000 So...

02:40:57.000 No, they've been good to me.

02:40:59.000 So I got that.

02:41:00.000 I got, you know, I'm all over.

02:41:02.000 I got, like, Miami, Baltimore.

02:41:03.000 I'm trying to build a material back up. 0.96

02:41:05.000 I'm doing a Euro tour, so all over Europe, like London, Belfast, all that shit. 0.98

02:41:09.000 And I post a lot of shit on punchup.live slash Sam Morrell, because... 0.98

02:41:13.000 What is PunchUp.Live? 0.98

02:41:15.000 My friend Danny Frankel started it.

02:41:16.000 He used to work at Facebook, and he hates censorship of comedians.

02:41:20.000 So PunchUp is where I gather emails.

02:41:23.000 It's like Patreon, but I don't take money.

02:41:25.000 I just want emails so I can blast you when I come to your city.

02:41:27.000 I don't spam you.

02:41:28.000 It's just PunchUp.Live slash Sam Morrell slash sign up or just whatever.

02:41:33.000 I post gigs.

02:41:35.000 I post bonus stuff that I won't post elsewhere because I don't want it to get... 1.00

02:41:40.000 Buried on some horse shit. 0.99

02:41:42.000 Right. 1.00

02:41:42.000 And it's good. 1.00

02:41:44.000 He cares about comedy.

02:41:45.000 He's a great guy.

02:41:46.000 That's cool.

02:41:46.000 I'll check that out.

02:41:47.000 It's awesome.

02:41:48.000 All right.

02:41:48.000 Beautiful.

02:41:48.000 Thank you, man.

02:41:49.000 Thanks, brother.

02:41:49.000 Appreciate it.

02:41:50.000 All right.

02:41:50.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - July 19, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2178 - Sam Morril

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript