Comedian Dave Attells the story of how he got his start in comedy, how he went from a small town to becoming a household name, and why he thinks Roseanne is the best thing that ever happened to him. He also talks about his new Netflix special that's live Saturday night in San Antonio, TX, and how he almost didn't have a stand-up special at all because he didn't know what to do with his time in New York. And he talks about why he doesn't want to do stand-ups anymore. And then he tells a story about how he accidentally stole a line from the White House and almost got into a fight with a woman who thinks she's a man. It's a good one, and it's a very funny one. Joe Rogan is a comedian, writer, podcaster, and podcaster. He's also the host of the podcast The Joe Rogans Experience, which is a podcast about comedy and other stuff. He's a friend of mine and I really enjoyed doing this episode, so thank you for coming on the pod. I hope you enjoy it. -Joe Rogan is a podcaster and comedian and writer, and I'm looking forward to doing more of it. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the pod, it was a lot of fun, and hope you like it! and I'll see you next week for the next week. Thank you for listening and tweet me what you think of this episode! Timestamps: 4:00 - 5: 6:30 - What's your favorite moment from this week's episode? 7:15 - What do you thought of it? 8:40 - How did you think it was funny? 9:00 10:15 11:30 12:00 | What is your favorite part of the day? 13:30 | What s your favorite thing from this episode so far? 15: How did it feel? 16:40 | How do you feel about this week? 17:20 | My favorite part? 18:40 19:00 / 16: What s the worst thing you ve ever seen me do in a movie? 21:10 22:00 + 17:00 // 17:10 | What are your favorite scene from a movie or TV show that you ve seen me laugh more than once?
00:04:16.000And some data that they have is actually from 9-11 because of the contrails.
00:04:21.000So the contrails, when they stopped being a thing because they shut the entire air travel system down in the United States for how long was it?
00:04:35.000So what happened was the Earth's temperature actually increased.
00:04:39.000The temperature in the United States increased by a measurable amount, right?
00:04:43.000So it's very small, but it's measurable, and it's because there's no clouds.
00:04:46.000So those clouds that those planes create by flying overhead all the time, those things are consistently blocking out the Sun to the point where it actually changes the temperature of the Earth.
00:05:00.000So one of the things they found out about I don't know if it was NATO, whoever it was, imposed new environmental restrictions on these giant cargo ships.
00:05:18.000Once they did that, they found that the surface temperature of the ocean actually increased because they weren't blowing pollution over the ocean so much so that it creates like a foggy haze that actually measurably blocks the amount of sunlight that goes through it.
00:05:35.000Like in trying to cool the ocean by decreasing our carbon footprint, they actually increase the surface temperature of the ocean.
00:05:43.000That also gets to the whole thing about how it's not necessarily a bad thing if temperature increases because there's more life at the equator than at the poles.
00:05:50.000And it's not necessarily bad if you're going to get things slightly warmer and maybe it's the speed that's the issue, but they never even take that into consideration.
00:05:57.000As long as there's any change, it can only be for the worse.
00:07:24.000You remove the predators, then the prey explode in population like with deer, and then everyone's front lawn, and that's a whole cascade effect there.
00:07:32.000That 90% number seems – because how would they have had that data 100 years ago, though?
00:07:38.000So if you talk to anybody who's a sushi chef that's ever been to the famous fish markets in Tokyo, they're so amazing that – I was only in Tokyo for two days.
00:08:23.000I was really angry at all the misconceptions that I was taught about Japan and Japanese people.
00:08:31.000Like, I thought that everyone would be like a robot.
00:08:34.000They were great sense of humor, very friendly, and the thing that they have there that we don't have here is, like, everyone really takes pride in what they do.
00:08:42.000And you see it in just regular stores and things like that, restaurants.
00:11:41.000Acoustic Prey Debilitation Hypothesis, or the Big Bang Theory, the theory states that sperm whales can produce ultrasonic noises that are too high in frequency for humans to hear, and that these sounds can create shock waves that could injure prey.
00:11:54.000However, some studies have not found evidence to support this theory.
00:12:26.000I'm gonna go hang out here and change everything.
00:12:28.000There's that meme about the fish went to the land and you evolved to go back to the sea, but you're not as good as you were before because you don't have gills.
00:13:28.000Well, Jiro's probably like the guy now where all the other, like, sort of incognito sushi places that are legendary, they're like, hey, what the fuck?
00:13:36.000I think Jiro, the thing, Jiro seems like it wouldn't be fun.
00:15:29.000I don't know how he stays in business, but there's hundreds of them.
00:15:34.000The thing that angered me as a former New Yorker, you're out at night, everyone's out in the streets, everyone's plastered, everyone's having fun, and it's perfectly safe.
00:15:45.000So when you look at New York and San Fran and L.A., this is completely on purpose.
00:16:09.000The police department and the prosecutor and the district attorney.
00:16:12.000But then there's the politicians that are in control of these areas, and then there's a tone that these areas have that's being controlled by the district attorney, by how they prosecute things, and all of this is all very, very political.
00:16:27.000So that's the part that looks like you guys want it to be like that, because you're not course-correcting at all.
00:16:34.000But I feel like at this stage, It's gotten...
00:17:15.000No, it's a lot of career criminals in New York.
00:17:18.000A lot of people that do the break-ins in the cars and stuff like that, they get arrested all the time.
00:17:22.000What was that guy, Jordan Neely, who tried to kidnap a girl, he punched an old lady in the face for no reason, broke her orbital socket, the one who was killed on the subway by that good Samaritan.
00:17:29.000It's like, you punch an old lady in the face and break her orbital socket for no reason once, that's a wrap.
00:18:53.000Like, if somebody doesn't have enough money for a pack of cigarettes, but they have enough money for two cigarettes, this guy will sell them two cigarettes.
00:18:58.000And I also think it's insane to make cigarettes more expensive on purpose to screw with poor people.
00:26:19.000Like they gave him some SSRI, something, whatever it was, and it changed how they, like spiderwebs maybe it was, and it changed how they made it.
00:29:40.000And this model went on stage and she was telling her sober stories and she was saying, I was just doing coke and just fucking all these rock stars.
00:31:13.000Like, so Adderall helps you know how your brain's working?
00:31:17.000You know how, like, when you're any kind of altered consciousness, you realize that your brain has a character of its own.
00:31:23.000And, like, most people aren't introspective and just take their thoughts for granted, but people who, like, work with psychedelics, things like that, realize, okay, there's ways I can have different perceptions, different focuses, different senses of self in relation to the world, things like that.
00:33:04.000I do think that having all these things illegal or having most of them illegal is a fucking travesty.
00:33:11.000I agree with you as an anarchist, but then what happened in Portland or wherever Seattle it was was a real problem.
00:33:18.000Yeah, but that also coincided with terrible leadership where the mayor was saying when they took over a giant swath of the city that it was the summer of love.
00:33:49.000So you can't look at that place and say, this is what happens when you make drugs legal.
00:33:55.000No, that's what happens when you make drugs legal in a place run by maniacs, a place run by people who think it's fine to have tents everywhere and give people money to shoot up and give them clean needles and give them money every month to stay homeless.
00:34:08.000I hear you, but my point is you and I both know a lot of people who are waiting for the psychedelics, right?
00:34:13.000And if psychedelics become fully legal and corporations take over, there's going to be downsides.
00:34:19.000I think if the corporations do the psychedelics, they'll probably have a different approach to how they interact with humanity.
00:34:24.000If the CEOs and all these people realize, like, you are going to die, and if you're wasting all your time trying to squeeze as much money as humanly possible out of every person that interacts with your You're not living a harmonious life and it doesn't mean that you can't make a lot of money and sell things.
00:34:41.000But you can make a lot of money and sell things with a psychedelic capitalist perspective where you're not trying to do evil.
00:34:48.000You're just trying to be fair about it.
00:34:53.000But I'm saying there's plenty of people who, if they start getting on these drugs and being introspective, they're not going to like what they see, and there's going to be a lot of things that come up, and it's not going to be an easy transition toward a better person for some of them.
00:36:50.000The thing is, when you and I were kids, as dinosaurs, every girl or 90% of them had an eating disorder because she was uncomfortable.
00:36:57.000Her body is changing, unwanted male attention.
00:36:59.000Having that sense of control, it was very common.
00:37:02.000A lot of people didn't grow out of it, but most of them did.
00:37:06.000Now, if you're uncomfortable with your body, you're going to be shifted down in this direction in many such cases.
00:37:14.000Carol Markowitz, who's a journalist, she was a neighbor of mine in Brooklyn, she said a majority of kids in her daughter's class were identifying as some variant of queer.
00:37:48.000And how, oh, she's become beloved by the right.
00:37:50.000It's like, this is someone telling their real, and she's not unique, telling her story about like, I wasn't old enough to make these decisions and I'm fucked for life.
00:37:57.000I'm never gonna have sexual pleasure and my body's changed and I regret this enormously and I thought I wanted this and I was wrong.
00:38:04.000And it's like, oh, there's just a hatchet piece.
00:38:41.000Now imagine if that was going on with the right here.
00:38:44.000They're saying, no, you can't be gay, but you can be trans and you can become a woman.
00:38:47.000And so they're encouraging it and then profiting off of it and then shaming anyone that detransitions like that person.
00:38:55.000Imagine if that was all being done by the right.
00:38:57.000People would think it's so fucking evil.
00:38:59.000The thing that's also crazy is that everyone who questions their gender is trans.
00:39:04.000No one just has issues with their gender.
00:39:06.000Not only that, there's a lot of data that shows that if you let them just leave them alone and let them go through puberty and become an adult, they usually become gay.
00:39:14.000And then a lot of gay people are like, hey, this is homophobic.
00:42:10.000It all bothers me, the fragility of the human mind.
00:42:14.000So, everybody forever was like, Kamala Harris is the worst vice president, she's the least popular vice president of all time, and then in a moment...
00:42:28.000A moment in time, all of a sudden she's our solution.
00:45:50.000So Seymour Hersh, who's been around D.C. since the 60s, I believe he wrote The Dark Side of Camelot, if I'm not mistaken.
00:45:56.000He had a thing on his sub stack that goes, Biden got the call.
00:46:00.000And it was Obama, Pelosi, former Speaker of the House, Chuck Schumer, Majority Leader, Hakeem Jeffries, current House Minority Leader, leader of the Democrats in the House.
00:46:09.000And he said, we got Kamala on board to invoke the 25th.
00:46:36.000There's a video that compares him from 2019 to 2024. It's a marked difference.
00:46:41.000Yeah, but I don't think there's a big difference between 2022 and 2024. There's like a two and a half hour compilation of the campaign in 2020 where he forgets Obama's name.
00:47:24.000And before everyone freaks out, has their mousetraps and their heads go off, I think there should be more presidential body doubles because one president almost got murdered.
00:47:32.000So if we have ways to keep them safe, let's use them.
00:47:39.000You know, here's another thing to say.
00:47:42.000In the interest of national security, like, let's imagine a scenario where Biden is deathly ill and Kamala is not really capable of taking over as president right now.
00:47:54.000And there is, you know, like, who's next?
00:48:26.000It looks like he went back in time seven or eight years.
00:48:30.000This is the weekend of Bernie's prequel.
00:48:33.000Well, this is like master gaslighting and propaganda is what it is.
00:48:38.000They show you that there's – what was it in 2000 and – I forget what year it was where I believe it was during the Obama administration.
00:50:25.000Wolverine juice is going to make you taller, but here's the thing.
00:50:28.000In the same way in the 60s, if you sat on the show and said Liberace is gay, people would yell at you because you've never seen him sucking a dick.
00:53:32.000It's also not good if you don't know those people exist, and if people can't counter those people in those comments, and if people can't highlight how egregious some of the things they're saying are, how awful some of the things they're saying are, and also get real information about, like, what's really going on in Venezuela,
00:53:49.000what's really going on in El Salvador, what's...
00:53:53.000And I'm also sitting here as a Jewish person who went to Jew school to tell you that the idea that you can't criticize George fucking Soros, who's a billionaire because it's anti-Semitic.
00:54:01.000Well, that's the old Mossad tactic, right?
00:54:04.000There was a guy who was a Mossad agent who talked about this, like what they would do if they find out there was a journalist that was saying Israel is attacking this.
00:55:31.000Because there was a guy that was speculating that some of the things that she says, the way she's sort of disconnected sometimes, and she goes on these rambles, that it's indicative of certain anti-anxiety medication.
00:55:51.000I do not think she's going to win, because the more she talks, like in 2020, how bad do you have to be that you can't even make Iowa?
00:55:59.000She couldn't even compete with the mayor of South Bend.
00:56:01.000I feel like we are in this very bizarre time where people are giving in to the bullshit in a way that I never suspected people would before.
00:56:13.000They just want no Trump, no matter what, and they're willing to gaslight themselves.
00:56:20.000By the way, I think Hillary could win.
00:57:04.000I would have thought that Trump getting shot would like, that's it, election's over.
00:57:08.000But it's like, they memory holed that so quick.
00:57:11.000You would have thought Trump getting shot would have had four years, eight years of corporate journalists talking about hate speech causing violence to be like, let's take a step back.
00:58:01.000You just have to type it all in, which is interesting because that little difference between what you can find and what you get presented immediately has a huge shift in the way people access information.
00:58:21.000And what it is is, like, if you try to Google certain negative stories, like negative stories on people, it will overwhelm you with positive stories.
00:58:30.000It'll take a long time before you get to the negative stories.
00:58:36.000If I Google Hillary Clinton and I have it so Google gives fairly positive stories about Hillary as the first 10 results, you're not going to go to the second page.
00:58:43.000If I Google Donald Trump and Google gives you seven negative stories, it's going to move the needle a little bit toward her and against him.
01:01:07.000There's a big sea change because even three years ago, if you had said, Trump kind of sucks, I don't really like him, he had no business being president, you're a Trump supporter.
01:01:18.000Because unless you say he's the worst thing to happen in America, you're a Trump supporter, right?
01:01:21.000So for Mark Zuckerberg to go on camera and be like, this guy was kind of a badass, and that was awesome, and not to have any – and to feel safe to say that, not to have any negative consequences, that's a big deal in terms of the conversation moving.
01:01:34.000Well, I do not think that Mark Zuckerberg, from my interactions with him, was very comfortable with the FBI telling them to suppress the Hunter Biden laptop story.
01:01:44.000Let's talk about this, because there's a lot of people who, I don't blame them, think, oh, boo-hoo, you're forced me to do it, but he's happy to do it anyway.
01:01:51.000So you're saying that he actually, it was like...
01:02:01.000And he said they basically reduced the ability to spread.
01:02:05.000You could post it, you could read it, you could interact with it, but they reduced its reach by like 50% or something like that or whatever the number was, which I don't understand how you do that or what are you doing.
01:10:36.000So for a lot of people, or they'll tell you, you don't know that this celebrity takes steroids to gain 60 pounds in three months for this movie?
01:10:44.000Maybe he's just got great genetics and it's just like, guys.
01:14:37.000Ulbricht was charged with engaging in a continuing criminal enterprise, narcotics conspiracy, conspiracy to commit money laundering, conspiracy to commit computer hacking.
01:14:47.000On August 21, 2014, a superseding indictment added three additional charges on February 4, 2015. Ulbricht was convicted on all counts after a jury trial that had taken place on January 15, 2015. Double life plus 40 years without possible parole.
01:15:08.000So just in case science comes along and they can keep him alive forever.
01:15:11.000He's also ordered to pay about $183 million in restitution based on the total sales of illegal drugs and counterfeit IDs through Silk Road.
01:15:34.000Federal prosecutors allege that Albright had paid $730,000 in a murder-for-hire deals targeting at least five people, allegedly because they threatened to reveal Silk Road, the Silk Road Enterprise.
01:15:45.000Prosecutors believe no contracted killing actually occurred.
01:15:49.000Albright was not charged in his trial in New York federal court with murder-for-hire, but evidence was introduced at trial supporting the allegations the district court Found a preponderance of the evidence that Albright did commission the murders.
01:16:03.000So it seems like he did commission them.
01:16:06.000The evidence that Albright had, according to them, had commissioned murders where it's considered by the judge in sentencing Albright to life and was a factor in the Second Circuit's decision to uphold the sentence.
01:19:18.000Well, there's so many people online, because everyone's so skeptical and because conspiracies are so fun, everyone thinks that everything is satanic.
01:21:49.000Just tried dancing with you, and you're profusely sweating, and then she went on to have a bath, possibly.
01:21:54.000Prince Andrew replies, there's a slight problem with the sweating because I have a peculiar medical condition, which I don't sweat, or I didn't sweat at the time, and that was...
01:22:02.000Wait, can you get the clip of him saying this?
01:22:04.000Because it sounds so crazy with his words.
01:22:06.000Didn't sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War when I was shot at.
01:23:12.000A physician, Dr. James Hambin, wrote in The Atlantic at the time, in case the dubiousness of this claim is not already evident from its context, nested in a sea of dubious claims, this is a dubious claim.
01:23:25.000Okay, there are people who cannot sweat or who sweat very little.
01:23:28.000Such a propensity to appear cool and collected while everyone else is flushed and damp has been attributed to the inevitably, inviably high status through, oh, to the inviably high status throughout history.
01:23:43.000I'm sorry, I'm reading it while I'm thinking.
01:23:44.000But the medical condition of not producing sweat, okay, this is the stuff that my friend has.
01:26:08.000There was supposed to be some kind of greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we ran with our heads down to get into vehicles to get to our base.
01:26:15.000And there is footage of her landing, and they're giving her flowers, and it's kids.
01:27:06.000I think infinitely, it sucks infinitely.
01:27:08.000I think, unless they evolve, if it's infinite and then the monkeys grow up to become humans, then they figure out how to write Shakespeare.
01:27:13.000If you're hitting keys at random, eventually you're going to write out Shakespeare's words.
01:27:47.000It's like one space monkey figures out paper, and then the other space monkey finds a typewriter that an alien civilization has dropped off there, just sort of like they do with us with spaceships.
01:27:57.000When they just crash land, they just drop them off a typewriter.
01:28:00.000I just read a story of this monkey who was in a zoo, a chimp, for like 50 years.
01:28:20.000Yeah, that's what I was thinking about.
01:28:21.000I'm like, who thinks this is a good idea?
01:28:23.000Yeah, there's a lot of nutty people out there that don't understand what a chimpanzee is.
01:28:28.000There was a piece recently, Jamie, where they were studying old videos of chimpanzees, and they believe that some chimpanzees are capable of human words.
01:28:44.000So they were examining some older videos, and they believe that some chimpanzees...
01:28:48.000Here, old videos of chimpanzees suggest they are capable of speech.
01:28:54.000So these are some old videos that they had done.
01:28:57.000So a small team of speech specialists and psychologists in Sweden, the UK, and Switzerland has found via study of old videos that at least three chimpanzees had learned to speak human words, suggesting that the animals are capable of learning this ability given the right circumstances.
01:29:11.000The work is published in the journal Scientific Reports.
01:29:22.000But their work was discredited over the years as unethical because the chimp was taken from its natural mother.
01:29:28.000In this new effort, the research team wondered if dismissal of these findings was done in absence of attempts to duplicate their efforts.
01:29:34.000To find out that might have been the case, they searched for the video evidence of such attempts at training and found three videos showing Evidence that chimpanzees can be taught to speak human words in a rudimentary way.
01:30:45.000So they know that they can teach gorillas sign language though, right?
01:30:48.000Right, but the interesting thing about, I think with that, that might be overblown because my understanding is the gorillas never ask questions.
01:32:09.000Coco was a gorilla who mastered sign language and raised kittens.
01:32:12.000She died at the age of 46. You can't teach the concept of devil to an animal.
01:32:18.000Imagine just being trapped in a fucking building that's run by gorillas, and they tell you what to do, and they give you bananas, and they try to get you to grunt at them, and you're like, oh my god, is there any fucking people around here?
01:32:51.000So there's an experiment they ran, and I still don't understand what's going on in the dog's head, where they put up two pictures, and the dogs were trained.
01:32:59.000If you see a picture of a dog, you hit this left, or if the dog's in the right, hit the right, and you get a treat.
01:37:22.000So they think they're going to be able to do that with AI. It's one of the more interesting things about AI. They think they're going to be able to decipher dolphin languages.
01:38:30.000It's so interesting like I would wonder if in the absence of human beings like imagine if something came some Magical switch got popped and human beings disappeared from the face of the earth I wonder how long it would take for an equally intelligent animal to emerge if ever Because we haven't been around that long.
01:38:57.000And then there's also some new humans they're discovering, like the Denisovans, which I don't think they even discovered them until somewhere in the 2000s.
01:39:08.000We don't even have the full fossil record of human species.
01:39:11.000If you find something 10 years ago and it's a new kind of human, which the Denisovans are, who fucking knows how long we really go back?
01:39:19.000But I think they think we go back in this form roughly a couple hundred thousand years.
01:40:32.000And we probably merged with them in some sort of a way too, but they think the merging was almost all Neanderthal males and Homo sapiens females.
01:42:25.000Yeah, and Forrest Galante, who's an actual biologist who studies wildlife, and he actually, he's done a lot of work trying to find the Tasmanian tiger, the thylacine.
01:42:35.000Yes, they're over in Australia trying to find that guy.
01:44:25.000Paul Rosalie told me he was in the Congo, or in the Amazon, rather, and he wrapped his arms around them and he He couldn't get his hands touching.
01:46:14.000The colossal squid, which is the biggest invertebrate, was only discovered in the 70s.
01:46:19.000The largest spider was only discovered in 1981. Well, some of those squids, those giant squids, they didn't get photographic evidence of them until fairly recently.
01:51:03.000And the more you know about that stuff, the more you're going to question these things.
01:51:07.000Everything in our society, if there's a narrative, I guarantee you someone's making money off that narrative, whether it's green energy or whether it's pro-vaccine or whatever it is, It's a money thing.
01:51:20.000They're not really concerned about climate change.
01:51:23.000They want to make sure that you're concerned about climate change so you vote and so that they can get these fucking things through and they can get more and more control over you.
01:51:31.000I had Dr. Drew on my show and a big moment for him because he's not a Jill Biden doctor.
01:51:51.000I'm like, this is just basic medical 101 stuff.
01:51:54.000And I'm not even saying they're wrong.
01:51:56.000I'm saying, how did you get to this conclusion?
01:51:58.000Are we certain this is the best approach?
01:52:01.000And the blowback—people already forgot how insane that blowback was and how censorious the regime was in terms of even just—and here's the thing.
01:52:11.000If there's an emergency, like let's suppose there's an asteroid hitting the Earth.
01:53:18.000But what's really crazy is that they did it with that particular drug.
01:53:22.000Knowing the history of that drug, the fact that the guy won a Nobel Prize on it for humans, knowing the fact that it had been given to billions, billions of prescriptions had been filled.
02:01:10.000And then my brain said to myself, I swear to God this way, I go, you were just at the Tesla factory at two in the morning with Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, and Jordan Peterson.
02:01:22.000And you go tell that kid that you think you're jealous of his striated delts, and he will look at you like you're a crazy person.
02:01:28.000And that was when it clicked like, holy shit, this is fucking insane.
02:01:31.000No one cares about your fucking striated delts.
02:02:14.000And I saw the energy change, and I'm like, holy shit, if this was something people thought was awesome, everyone would be treating him very differently.
02:02:21.000Well, it depends on the group that you're in, right?
02:02:23.000Of course it depends on the group, but this was—the normal people don't— They look at that as freakish, not as admirable.
02:02:30.000Like when girls have those huge implants, at a certain point, it's not hot.
02:02:34.000It's just like there's something wrong with you.
02:06:35.000Is it just me or is it blah, blah, blah?
02:06:39.000Why is my body at my age still making you farts?
02:06:44.000And the things that they reply, some of them are going to be very funny because it's farts, but some of them are just going to be like, oh my god, just relax.
02:06:51.000So I avoid question marks as much as possible.
02:06:53.000Well, there's a lot of very angry people out there in the world.
02:07:22.000But there's also anytime there's a politically charged issue or a person who's engaging in politically charged issues like you do, you're going to have a bunch of bots that are attacking you and a bunch of bots on your page and a bunch of people that aren't real people.
02:07:40.000I thought that that was nonsense and it's not.
02:07:44.000And I've seen enough receipts that it's like, holy shit, this really is a thing.
02:07:47.000Well, you know that FBI guy, the former FBI analyst who said that he estimated that somewhere in the neighborhood of 80% of all accounts on Twitter were bots?
02:07:58.000Yeah, I don't know if he's right, but I know that they wouldn't supply Elon with the information necessary for him to find out whether or not it's more than five, which is what they were claiming.
02:08:08.000They were claiming somewhere in the neighborhood.
02:08:10.000But he said that they based that on like 100 accounts, like a random 100 accounts.
02:08:30.000When I consider the volume and velocity of automation we're seeing today, the sophistication of bots that a given set of incentives is likely to attract, and the relative lack of countermeasures I saw in my own research, I can only come to one conclusion.
02:08:44.000All likelihood, more than 80% of Twitter accounts are actually bots.
02:09:00.000Where, like, if you're going to go after Trump or go after Biden, they're going to swarm you and be like, actually, blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:09:49.000That's good to know because I've been talking to some people and I was going to breach this with you, but I'm glad you brought it up on your own.
02:13:06.000If Trump wins again, there's going to be a lot of soul-searching in the Democratic Party about like, hey, where we lose track, that we're losing to who they perceive as this complete putz.
02:13:15.000And that would be an opportunity for someone like Fetterman like it was for Clinton in 92 to be like, okay, I'm going to steer this party back to where middle America is and we could win on those terms.
02:13:26.000If they were going to do that, wouldn't they have done that after Trump's first term and said they ran with Biden?
02:13:31.000Well, they didn't do that for Trump's first term because, first of all, Hillary got millions more votes.
02:13:35.000Second of all, they were too busy losing their minds to think strategically.
02:14:35.000But my point is, if you, when you're running for president in 2020, can't raise as much money as a senator from California, as the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, your Rolodex is not good.
02:15:32.000There's no question that a lot of these donors, thanks to James Carville, who's a Democratic strategist for many, many years, James Carville said, hold your donations if Biden's the nominee.
02:16:09.000The question is, is she going to be as good as a Hillary, who had the Rolodex, the favors, it's my turn, she had Wall Street, she had Hong Kong.
02:16:19.000She had Wall Street, she had Hollywood, she had DC, she had everybody.
02:17:04.000I am surprised how quickly they flipped the candidate.
02:17:09.000Without any pretense of having some kind of competition.
02:17:12.000Well, I think they were feeling like they couldn't win.
02:17:14.000Right, but the point is I'm shocked that they went immediately with her as plan B. Because she is the one that is in the administration now, which means all the people that have jobs keep their jobs.
02:18:14.000And that was his kind of legacy, getting rid of her once and for all.
02:18:18.000Because otherwise, she's going to be the nominee or a very strong case for it in 2028. Right, but don't you think that if she runs in 2024, that's very likely, there's a possibility, like more than 50-50, that she wins?
02:18:40.000They're not like the Trump people are loud.
02:18:42.000In support of Trump, they go to the rallies, they fill up stadiums, and so people in their head, they go, oh, he's more popular.
02:18:50.000But the people that are not willing to vote for him, they're on the quiet tip, and they might talk amongst their friends, and they might talk at work, but they're not going to these rallies.
02:20:39.000The average person that's going about their job and occasionally watching the news and occasionally paying attention to the news feed on their phone, they have no idea what's going on, how nutty it all is.
02:20:53.000It's like gradually and then suddenly, like with the Biden debate.
02:20:56.000If the corporate comedians had done, like Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel and all the other Jon Stewart's other bastard children had done their job and made fun of Biden for four years about being an old fart, that debate wouldn't have landed as hard as it did.
02:21:10.000The fact that it was a complete 180 for what we were being told is what really did him in.
02:21:14.000So the more they're trying to hype her up now, and of course she's the new nominee, she's the greatest thing that's ever happened, she's basically another Oprah.
02:21:20.000Once she starts opening her mouth, and here's the thing I predict, she's notoriously difficult to work for.
02:21:27.000The New York Times, the New York Post covered this at the time.
02:21:30.000Wait until people who are trying to get her into the White House start leaking to the press.
02:21:34.000And what a nightmare she is to work with.
02:21:36.000That is going to undermine a lot of stuff for her, too.
02:22:46.000Less people are getting banned, I think, in these other social media networks because it highlights.
02:22:52.000And in their defense, broadly speaking, what's the point of me banning this person if they're going to be in these other nine sites or even one other site?
02:23:00.000It's not actually accomplishing the purpose.
02:28:50.000Like who's doing that stuff and why are they doing that stuff?
02:28:53.000Why are they having people talk about that and share inaccurate information?
02:28:56.000I think it's to put everything into chaos so that you have no idea what's true or what's not true.
02:29:02.000And then ultimately you don't know what to trust or what not to trust, which is a great way to get things through because then preposterous things can happen.
02:30:25.000Why would I... Okay, one thing that I think everyone, most people would understand, is these politicians are power-hungry people, right?
02:30:33.000Why would I, as president, step down when I do have still a decent shot of beating Trump again, and I beat him last time, got him out of the Oval Office?
02:31:10.000I mean, maybe they just talked sensibly to him.
02:31:13.000Said, look, you're going to kill the whole party because you don't want to step down.
02:31:18.000Do you remember when Chuck Schumer told Dianne Feinstein she's got to resign and she agreed and then forgot that they had the conversation?
02:32:33.000And if you think he wasn't alive, do you think they'd tell us?
02:32:35.000If they have this body double out there running around for national security reasons, don't you think they would just keep their mouth shut?
02:32:40.000No, because I think it would behoove them if she got to be president.
02:32:45.000Because then she's a stronger nominee.
02:32:48.000So, if he was dead, then it would be good, because she would be the president then, and then they would, yeah.
02:32:57.000But, now, there were rumors going around that during this window of time where he vanished from the face of the earth, which is not a thing that happens with presidents, where you don't know where they are, where he was having a seizure, he was like, this internet stuff.
02:33:09.000He got abducted by aliens and they grew him.
02:33:53.000When I see that guy that supposedly is Biden, I'm like, I don't know what's going on now.
02:33:59.000Since we live in a simulation, and I'm going to spoil the best comedy of all time, Veep, at a certain point, Veep becomes president, and then she's voted out like five months later.
02:34:09.000And since Officer Harris is basically Selina Meyer, just like dipped in chocolate, I don't think he's going to be president through January.
02:39:03.000There are two things Kurt told me that I think about like once a week because they're so funny and I'm just like, I'm in the presence of like a comedy legend.
02:39:11.000One is he was talking to Patrice O'Neill and Kurt had just seen Fight Club and Patrice is like, oh, that's the ultimate white people movie and Kurt's like, what do you mean?
02:39:19.000He goes, oh, I don't have enough violence in my life.
02:40:31.000And it couldn't happen to a better guy.
02:40:33.000And it's even funnier is, you know how Greeks, like Tantalus, like in the afterlife, he's always reaching for water or food and it's always out of his reach because he served his son to the gods as food.
02:40:42.000Like when you're on CNN, like Rogan and these podcasts, even the audience is 100 times bigger, it's like beneath you because they're like nothing and I'm the real guy.
02:40:51.000And now he's got to be a sidekick on Patrick by David.
02:43:59.000So all they can do is go on these other—and I say this to someone who does this a lot myself—go on, like, social media and try to kind of make—Aaron Rupar, make a name for yourself by just spouting complete nonsense.
02:46:00.000But the point is, if you got something this bad wrong and then tried to cover it up, it's going to be hard to get through that White House.
02:46:09.000And also, as a New York Jew, that New York Italian attitude, I know that works in middle America, if you're trying to be president.
02:46:17.000You're going to have to do something to deal with.
02:46:19.000Well, Chelsea Handler said she was Cuomo sexual, so that settles that.
02:46:23.000Chelsea Handler was what that dude's final form was.
02:46:28.000Everybody loved Cuomo when he was running New York at the beginning of the pandemic because he seemed so reasonable and measured and leader-like.
02:46:35.000One thing I did like about him is that he would have those daily updates.
02:46:39.000So he was trying to do what he could to be as visible and have as much information as possible.
02:46:45.000Better than the lady they have now who says black people don't know what computers are.
02:48:26.000And also, he's a Simpsons fan, because when Homer Simpson designed a car for his brother and ruined his brother's company, Homer said, there should be horns everywhere and they should all play La Cucaracha.
02:48:37.000And you can make the horn, one of like 15 choices is La Cucaracha.
02:49:04.000There's very few humans like him that are going to be able to run a social media site like that and also just be able to handle being attacked relentlessly and like complete Teflon.
02:50:16.000It just kind of drifts off of him because there's so much support for him.
02:50:21.000It's just – most people recognize that you really – Especially when the Twitter files came out, when Ty E.B. and Schellenberger released all those Twitter files, and you realize there was a real concerted effort to hide the truth from people.
02:50:33.000And then people being gaslit to be like, we knew all this the whole time.
02:57:07.000And then they put it on television on the news showing all the different pieces of different speeches of him wearing different suits of all the things that he had actually said and how they pieced it together.
02:57:16.000This is like very early on indication that you got to be careful with technology.
02:57:21.000This was very rudimentary technology, relatively speaking.
03:02:05.000I have, in my living room framed, because I wrote to her, she's hooking up with a football player, and she's like, don't worry about getting me pregnant.