In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the comedian, writer, and podcaster joins the podcaster to discuss a variety of topics, including: What's going on in the world of AI? How much money does it take to be a comedian? What is the difference between a comedian and a podcaster? Why is it so important to have a good sense of humor? Is it even possible to be funny without being funny? And what's the worst thing a comedian has ever said to you or said to someone else? The answer to all of these questions and more, and much more, on this week's episode of the Joe Rogans Experience. Featuring special guest, comedian, and friend of the pod, Jamie Davenport ( ) and special guest Steve Jobs ( ), who are joined by the host of the show's newest spin-off, "The J.R. Experience: Train by Day" ( ) to talk about all things tech, comedy, and everything in between! The J.J. Rogan Podcast by Night, by night, all day, all the time, with the J. Rogans Podcast by day. Thank you to our sponsor, Shure SM7B! Thanks to Shure for sponsoring the show and supporting the podcast! Check it out! It's a good one, it's good, good vibes, good times, and it's a lot of good times! and we hope you enjoy it! -Joe Rogan and Jobs - Steve Jobs Check out the show on Podchaser and the podcast by day, by day! (and by night! . of the podcast, by by night. and by night Joe and Steve Jobs. - The Jogans Podcast by night - by day Thanks for listening to the podcast and all day! -Joe and Steve's podcast by night? -The Jogan Experience by day and night, The JOGAN Experience by night!! (featuring Steve Jobs? ) - by night and night! -JOGAN PODCAST by night (and Steve Jobs by day? , by night?!) , all day by night... JOBYS BY DAY! , JOBY ROGAN EPISODES by day AND ALL DAY, ALL DAY by night !
00:02:27.000We're saying things that are fun to say.
00:02:30.000But what I was going to get to before we did is that the thing that Jamie told me about – well, Tulsi Gabbard was the first person to tell me about it.
00:02:36.000So I was talking about how great Tulsi Gabbard is, about if you really wanted a great Democratic candidate, that was a woman, woman of color, congresswoman for eight years.
00:02:47.000She served overseas in a medical unit twice.
00:02:50.000That's where she got that gray streak in her hair.
00:04:02.000But from what I've heard, you can kind of tell, but it's getting close.
00:04:07.000It's getting to the point where you're not going to be able to tell.
00:04:09.000You know, when you hear enough computer-generated sentences, You're gonna catch little glitches in the matrix.
00:04:18.000You know, it's gonna sound a little off.
00:04:19.000But you can only catch those glitches in the matrix because you're a person who's also around technology, internet, so you kind of see the scam going on.
00:04:50.000If a company gets to the point where it's successfully doing a few things, you don't have to try and do everything.
00:04:55.000We're in the process now of trying to cut the things we're doing so that we can concentrate on the few that are really high on our priority list.
00:05:02.000Because if you try to do too many things, none of them get done well.
00:05:06.000The transition's clunky, but even more importantly, the sound is very different between the environment that I'm talking in and the environment he's talking about.
00:06:08.000It looks like a damn movie like a real movie like in Estonia the movie industry is moving really well and the government was financing for a while the building of like Like a movie fucking, I don't know, factory or like a whole,
00:08:55.000Imagine if they get to a point where they say, we can download your brain into a computer, but you will cease to exist right here, right now.
00:09:00.000And you just have to assume that whatever consciousness is in your head is your life.
00:09:09.000Just a faction of that consciousness being in a very particular state and time, that consciousness being attached to this particular biological body in this particular place.
00:10:48.000It's just the synapses are firing in the machine.
00:10:51.000And I remember, because I was like a teenager when I saw that movie, and I remember that scene when they were fucking, and I was like, oh, shit.
00:13:20.000And for me, that sounds amazing, right?
00:13:22.000But then, I remember we started having, because it was turning, we had blues nights on Tuesdays, and the owner would fly out from America, like New Orleans, these 65-year-old black dudes that live a rough life.
00:13:36.000You can see from their face, from the way they move, it's been a rough life.
00:13:41.000And the way they would sing, maybe technically, it wouldn't be...
00:13:47.000Sound as clean, but what you would feel, because I was bartending, and I would look at the audiences, and I would see them also.
00:15:11.000I was like, okay, a bomb just went off.
00:15:14.000And you could either recognize you have a hole in the ship, or you can go full steam ahead with the original plan, and this motherfucker's gonna sink.
00:15:22.000It's like that cartoon when Tom and Jerry, when he's trying to dissipation.
00:15:26.000The moment music becomes a digital piece of information that can be uploaded to a hard drive, the moment that happens, it's over.
00:15:36.000So if you don't realize that the war has been lost and devise some sort of monetization of streaming platform, make it simpler, quicker, faster than anybody else's, and then get it up there quick, because they should have done that the moment Napster came out.
00:15:53.000They should have hired the best coders.
00:17:43.000That's a good example of how much things have changed, is the fact that YouTube exists and that YouTube is not a stack of discs that you have to go to a library or a bookstore to get.
00:17:58.000But then again, there was that magic of, I feel lucky at least to have that childhood where I remember that my attention was actually not raped by technology that much, but I had to actually look forward to consuming something and work physical exertion to get it,
00:18:21.000There's a more maybe commitment to consumption.
00:18:25.000I think it's going to be very interesting when we look back on human beings.
00:18:30.000I think we're in the middle of it right now, so we probably don't Really objectively understand how much of an impact it's had on us because it sort of trickled in slowly with just regular cell phones and then like remember those sidekicks people had the sidekicks so you could send texts on it would go sideways remember like wow that's crazy that was like next level and then blackberries if you were fucking serious if you're really getting some shit done answering some emails you had a blackberry And then when the iPhone came out,
00:18:57.000the whole game just fucking flipped on its head, and now all of a sudden everyone's connected to everyone everywhere, and everyone's anxious and freaking out.
00:19:04.000And I think that we grew up before that, and I'm older than you by far, so I grew up way before.
00:20:02.000It was kind of along in the same soup.
00:20:03.000Because it all happened while I was in high school.
00:20:05.000So while I was in high school, there was probably answering machines before I was in high school, but I was aware of them in high school, then caller ID, and then VHS tapes.
00:21:36.000And we're headed towards whatever this is, and no one knows.
00:21:39.000And I think that's one of the reasons why governments are trying to crack down on social media and trying to control it and stop people from saying things.
00:21:47.000In the UK, they're arresting people for saying certain things.
00:21:51.000They're trying to stop this thing from overwhelming them.
00:22:05.000And it's going to happen in a bunch of stages, just like it happened with us, where we got caller ID, we got answering machines, we got VHS tapes, then we got computers, then we got online, and then we got 14.4, then we got 56k, and then you start seeing pictures show up,
00:22:20.000like they download them nice and slow, and then people got cable.
00:24:02.000And then sometimes the shower would be a bit warm, and you would get a little bit of a vein going there, you know, you get a little bit of a 25%, dude.
00:27:56.000And this old guy would give me looks, and I would just feel, and it was the first time in my life, I'm just like, dude, I'm jacked, I'm doing fucking MMA, but I'm feeling vulnerable.
00:28:06.000And then one point in the shower, This was like, you know when showers have the booths, you know, the separation booths?
00:30:37.000That's why I don't like walking around naked.
00:30:39.000If you were a woman and you have your beautiful vagina and their co-edged showers, would you really be comfortable washing your butthole and your vagina in front of a bunch of men?
00:30:52.000Gay guys are real, and if your little booty hole and your little dick is out flopping around in front of them, to me, as a person who doesn't want any of that, I would imagine that I would not enjoy watching someone stare at my Johnson,
00:31:13.000who wants to take a piece of that sock on it.
00:31:30.000In our culture, when I was a little kid, I saw grown pussy all the time.
00:31:34.000This is why your country is so fucked up.
00:31:38.000You guys, you barely survived Viking wars, and then what's left over, you know, you're just a bunch of fucking maniacal crazy people showing each other's pussies and dicks to each other.
00:31:49.000I feel like some things should be sacred.
00:36:54.000And she had that jeep, she had like horns, and then the balls hanging from the back, you know, the soft balls that they had in the back, they had that, and she was just a fucking wild one.
00:37:08.000And this was like when I visited Australia, and in my head I was like, kangaroos are like cutie patooties, but when you go to Australia, they'll tell them, like, we hate them.
00:37:16.000Because they just keep jumping in front of cars.
00:39:45.000There's always going to be a balance between wolves and antelope, or wolves and bears, wolves and deer, because they're going to figure out who wins.
00:39:55.000And if the wolves kill off too many of the deer, then their population's going to drop, they're going to run out of food, and there's going to be some sort of consequences.
00:40:03.000And then their population drops down, and then the deer population comes back a little bit.
00:40:08.000Nature has a way of balancing itself out in most environments until human beings step in and start fucking with things.
00:40:15.000So my question is, what happened over in Australia that that thing, that one crazy animal, becomes like hordes of them, swarms of them?
00:40:26.000Show some of those videos of the swarms of kangaroos just running.
00:40:30.000So these people are in their car, and you see just like, I don't even know what the number is.
00:43:38.000Because also, the animal doesn't know.
00:43:44.000Dude, I was in Massachusetts once, and I was on my way home from—it was when I was driving limos, and I was coming down this highway, and I saw this really rinky-dink zoo.
00:43:54.000I think I was coming from New Hampshire.
00:43:55.000I don't really remember, but I remember it was a long drive, and I had the rest of the day off, so I said, fuck it.
00:44:01.000I'm going to go in this zoo and see what the fuck is going on in this zoo.
00:44:04.000Just for funsies, because I was out there.
00:44:22.000It's a horrible thing to watch because, like, that's a sentient being that's experiencing a very bizarre and prolonged suffering and a disconnection from its kind.
00:45:10.000Well, you shouldn't have him in the first place.
00:45:12.000That's the matrix, the real world thing again, that animals also will have that thing where they're...
00:45:16.000If they're in the wild, I'm sure it's exactly like being in that matrix where in the zoo, yeah, you have all your food, all the stimulus, you're alive.
00:45:41.000Like in Austin, because I do so much comedy, I'm into cycling now, and sometimes I'll cycle out of the city, but every two weeks I have enough energy to do like a long cycle, and when I get to complete, that's why I love Estonia too, that it's silence in the woods that you have,
00:47:05.000That's what we have to look forward to.
00:47:07.000The way this fucking goofy place is being run.
00:47:12.000They're pushing us closer and closer to something real.
00:47:15.000So my luck that as soon as I come to America, the fucking country collapses, huh?
00:47:20.000It's not collapsing, but boy, it's in a weird state of this strange struggle where people kind of forgot we're all supposed to be united, and that's our strength, and being divided the way we're being divided, especially being divided by bullshit.
00:47:34.000You know, like, you shouldn't be allowed to lie.
00:47:38.000And you shouldn't be allowed to lie in a campaign ad.
00:47:41.000You shouldn't be allowed to use CGI to make your crowds look bigger.
00:47:46.000You shouldn't be allowed to do any of these things.
00:48:03.000You have to follow a certain set of rules in order to be able to get information out.
00:48:09.000And if you want to talk about the campaigns, and if you want to talk about the war, and if you want to talk about what's going on in Ukraine, what's going on in Gaza, you have to have very specific narratives.
00:48:20.000And you're not allowed to deviate from that at all.
00:48:22.000And then that's what's giving you the news.
00:48:24.000And so we're all like, what the fuck is real?
00:48:26.000And so anytime anything happens, even when the president gets shot, we're like, was that even real?
00:48:31.000Like, we don't think anything's real anymore.
00:48:33.000And that's what primes us for the Matrix.
00:48:37.000When no one knows what anything's real anymore, it's so much easier to just slide right in, Ari.
00:49:58.000Yeah, somebody was explaining how, isn't it crazy that how any politician that wants to get elected never mentions tobacco, alcohol, like never the because of the back.
00:52:03.000You shouldn't be drinking 12 hours a day every day.
00:52:06.000But that's why it's so exciting is that life is not infinite and you do take those small risks and that's what's so exciting.
00:52:16.000Also, people that do drink 20 hours a day.
00:52:19.000Those people in your life, in your journey, those people are examples where you can learn something without having to actually do it yourself.
00:52:29.000Like, you don't have to become an alcoholic and ruin your life, but you can see someone do it and say, Okay.
00:52:41.000Because your system is, you know, your system is done.
00:52:45.000In the mornings in the bathroom, he would take two to three hours of like shitting and then just heaving, you know, because your body is just rejecting all this poison.
00:53:04.000And then put on a suit, put on a suit, bloated as fuck, put on a suit, all happy puppy, survive for eight hours.
00:53:11.000And then he would, I remember he would come home and as a child, he would come home and he would be in the car and just sit there in his car.
00:54:34.000But then, you know, as a child growing up in that environment, there would always be that point where you see him on the couch and that look, you know.
00:54:41.000An alcoholic's look is, you know, the detachment of the soul.
00:55:32.000I thought I'm in a dark spot when he's home, you know.
00:55:35.000I had some friends that became alcoholics that didn't necessarily have childhood trauma as much as they had childhood influence.
00:55:43.000And then friends that kind of all went down a bad road.
00:55:48.000And they were all like doing hard drugs and drinking a lot.
00:55:52.000It just becomes a part of the culture of your little community if you're hanging with a group of people that just likes to get fucked up all the time.
00:57:09.000Yeah, so that's 36. That should be before all that stuff happened in his mind.
00:57:14.000But I'm of the opinion that Hitler, if you can get him to go on oxycodone a year from now, He's probably trying some shit that he didn't tell you about.
00:57:59.000They were all taking meth for productivity.
00:58:01.000They were taking a low dose of meth and they were giving it to the soldiers.
00:58:05.000This blitz book is insane because it's a story about how the Nazis were jacked up on meth and they just went all the way through Poland in three days and that they just never slept.
00:58:17.000I used to have a bit that, you know, while Germany's were testing with meth, you guys in America were testing with LSD, and I would have loved to see those two armies meet.
00:58:25.000By the way, no, that's another part of his thing.
00:58:28.000The Nazis were testing with LSD as well.
00:58:30.000They were running tests on the prisoners.
00:58:33.000They were running tests on concentration camp prisoners.
00:59:34.000That's going to be the craziest job the world has ever known.
00:59:38.000You're in a giant metal box, and you're moving it towards war, and you're hoping that thing doesn't break.
00:59:45.000You're hoping it doesn't break and leave you out there.
00:59:48.000You're hoping that when it gets shot at, or who knows, the transmission fails, and then you're out there in enemy territory while they're shooting missiles at you.
01:02:46.000Can you imagine being a fucking kid back in the 60s when you didn't really have any way of knowing what the fuck was actually going on in Vietnam?
01:02:55.000And also, yeah, they're saying that the fucking end of the world's coming and you're the last frontier.
01:03:00.000You know, you have no way to check it.
01:03:02.000And even questioning it would be in bad taste, you know?
01:03:38.000So at least our trauma that we heard from grandfathers and shit, which was about, like, it was almost a heroic thing of standing up for your country.
01:03:47.000Whereas American maybe, it's kind of like, why are you going there, you know?
01:03:51.000And that trauma must be bad when you're coming back.
01:04:48.000You couldn't even come up with justifications.
01:04:50.000Why would we go into this country and firebomb them and spray Agent Orange and who knows how many people come home with fucking cancer because you used a deforestation technique that's like this horrific chemical that kills people.
01:05:55.000And so the fact that they can still pull it off today, that they can still...
01:06:02.000I mean, who knows today what we're going to look back on like we look at the Gulf of Tonkin incident, or what we're going to look back on and realize that it had been manipulated, so the event was real, but the event was caused by a series of moves behind the scenes to ensure that war takes place.
01:06:19.000There's so much complication when it comes to these things because there's so much money being thrown around yeah, and then At least today We have other outlets for information.
01:06:32.000At least today, you can kind of get a sense of how things are true or not true based on really intelligent people that you know that are online that are talking about them.
01:06:54.000I saw that information that it was the XY thing early, but it was just a levine of that, that it's a man, just came a bit too strong.
01:07:03.000Because both information came out pretty much, I would, in my sources, I would say I saw a similar time, where it was like, oh, it's a man, but then you just open another, scroll a bit more, and then you see the XY chromosome thingy, and then you're like, okay, but just a levine of that it's a dude came on a bit strong.
01:07:34.000And then they realized, no, this is someone who has a genetic issue.
01:07:40.000But there was another – there's a boxing committee – I'm going to send you this, Jamie, because this kind of makes it all make a little bit more sense.
01:07:51.000But it was essentially that there's different versions of these kinds of diseases that people have, and depending on those versions, some of them, they go through male puberty,
01:08:07.000and they have male frames, and they're male.
01:10:02.000What they're saying, it's a male with a sexually, some developmental disease that they, or developmental issue, some genetic anomaly, something that happens to them.
01:10:14.000But they're going, they have testes, and they go through male puberty, and they don't have the ability to get pregnant.
01:10:20.000I don't even know if they have ovaries.
01:10:26.000In this situation, I don't think they have eggs.
01:10:28.000I'm reading a version that CBS Sports put out where they talked to the International Olympics Committee and the IBA. They're saying these tests are not legitimate tests.
01:10:39.000Yeah, I was going to bring this up too.
01:10:41.000They were saying that some people think that it's because the Soviets did them, they don't trust them.
01:10:45.000So the International Olympic Committee spokesperson Mark Adams said in a press conference on Sunday, the tests themselves, The process of the test and the ad hoc nature of the test are not legitimate.
01:10:55.000The testing, the method of the testing, the idea of the testing, which happened kind of overnight, none of it is legitimate, and this does not deserve any response.
01:11:29.000This article says that originally the test was kept confidential, did not undergo a testosterone examination, but were subject to a separate and recognized test whereby the specifics remained confidential.
01:11:44.000Then the next day, or like Monday, I don't know how many days later that was, then they came out and said something different.
01:11:51.000These testings show they have a high level of testosterone, Kremlev said, like men.
01:11:55.000They have men's level of testosterone.
01:11:57.000We cannot go further in our investigation.
01:11:59.000Whether they were born like men or some changers intervened at the later stages.
01:12:05.000And then that's where the IOC said what you read earlier, where these tests are not legitimate.
01:12:09.000Right, but they're not saying why they're not legitimate.
01:12:13.000When they just keep saying it's not legitimate, the ad hoc nature of the tests are not legitimate, you have to say, when you're talking about a scientific...
01:12:48.000The one-two slaps with those shoulders.
01:12:50.000But it's also, it's like, what are we doing?
01:12:52.000Like, why do we have women's sports in the first place if you let...
01:12:54.000I mean, you could say that some people have a genetic anomaly, like that woman, she had XXY, right?
01:13:02.000She was like a legitimate hermaphrodite, I believe.
01:13:06.000Testosterone levels, not XY chromosome, which is the pattern typically seen in men, are the key criteria of eligibility in Olympic events where the sports governing body has framed and approved rules.
01:13:45.000It's very visibly seeing the difference.
01:13:50.000In other sports where it's reaction time and whatever, tennis or whatever, you might make the argument of like, just get better at the technique, you know?
01:13:59.000But in combat, it's very visible because it's not only about the body and whatever.
01:14:05.000It's literally people who are on testosterone has been proven harder to KO because you just ramped up.
01:15:45.000Well, I would imagine that if they knew for a fact that you couldn't get to the North Pole to do a drug test, there'd be a fucking MMA camp on the North Pole.
01:17:09.000You know, there's that thing of like, I'm not saying that having a father who's maybe violent towards your mother is a bit better, but I think there's a bit of a more evolutionary connection that a family dynamic can have.
01:17:21.000Whereas if you're like a 12 to 13, 14 year old boy and a new guy, you're supposed to be the man of the house, even though you're a child.
01:18:13.000And my sister was a bit older, so she moved out.
01:18:15.000So we would just walk in the night towards the direction, and she would try to call all her friends where to stay for the night, because this ape is fucking going bananas back home.
01:18:23.000And we would be on the sidewalk, you know.
01:19:14.000And as a kid, I'm like, oh, that's all I gotta do.
01:19:17.000Move to Korea for two weeks, study this fucking death touch, and just come back and kill somebody, you know?
01:19:23.000But then, I remember I saw UFC... I saw a few pride fights from Fedor Emelianenko, because he was Russian, and he was a big, prominent figure in the martial arts community.
01:19:33.000But I remember I saw Lyoto Machida Shogun, the first one.
01:19:38.000And in my head, because Machida looked like a traditional martial artist, you know, because he was half Asian or something, you know?
01:19:44.000So in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the...
01:19:46.000Why don't these people do the Chris Crudelli shit, you know?
01:19:50.000Fucking neutralize your opponent, do a wrist lock.
01:19:52.000Then I start watching Pride, Wanderlei Silva.
01:19:55.000He's stomping people, holding onto the ropes, stomping.
01:19:59.000And in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the dim muck?
01:20:04.000So then, I was maybe 15, 16, late, late, when I was doing gymnastics and I was doing a bit of weightlifting, and I saw dudes like wrestling, you know?
01:20:16.000And I started thinking, like Greco-Roman, and I saw them like suplex, jacked guys in fucking, just suplexing each other, and that's where the wheels start turning of like, dude, you're not gonna wrist lock this guy.
01:20:29.000You're not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna death touch this guy.
01:28:40.000If you wanted to really think about who's the most complete fighter, you say Max Holloway, Ilya Tapuria, But Islam Makachev, you've got to put it at the top of the...
01:31:38.000I feel like the guy's been strung around for this long.
01:31:41.000If you want to respect the history and the lineage of the UFC heavyweight championship, he's the most accomplished UFC heavyweight of all time.
01:31:50.000He defended the title more than anybody.
01:31:52.000And, you know, he stopped Daniel Cormier.
01:36:59.000But also with Aspinel and Jones, you know, every time people say, dude, watching him and Cyril Gan, and all respect to Cyril Gan, but he never felt anything.
01:37:07.000It was a made-up guillotine, even, just on the cage.
01:37:10.000He just was like, check this shit out.
01:37:12.000Yeah, but as long as he gets a hold of your neck and he's doubling you up in that position where he can press his chest on your head.
01:37:19.000With a guy like John, with his kind of squeeze, that's horrific.
01:37:22.000A guy like Cyril Gan that's only been grappling for like five years, you're going to get strangled.
01:37:27.000It's just that even with John Jones, you know, the heavyweight division has always been a shallow division due to the reason of people being just that size of humans.
01:37:58.000I don't know all the fighters that are fighting.
01:38:00.000I know a bunch, but I know like maybe 30% of boxing compared to what I know about MMA. So I had heard about this guy from an article saying that no one wants to spar him.
01:41:06.000I mean, Conor McGregor, a guy who's a fucking pipe...
01:41:11.000Not an engineer, but he was some blue-collar job.
01:41:15.000There's also people that if they do something first and then get into fighting, like there's a lot of guys that are like powerlifters, crossfit guys, NFL players.
01:41:25.000I think a big one that's going to be...
01:41:28.000We'll see is people, gymnastics, because especially guys who do the rings and things like that, think about how much more arm dexterity and strength those guys have.
01:41:37.000Imagine that guy getting your neck, you know?
01:41:40.000Imagine a guy like that who's a black belt in jujitsu with that kind of crazy strength to be able to hold yourself up in the air like that.
01:41:47.000I did maybe three, four years of gymnastics before I started.
01:42:02.000And I remember when I started jiu-jitsu, I remember just even my get-ups from positions and where I'm strong, the positions where I could be strong, were much more different than a guy who's in the gym all the time, bench-boxing.
01:45:31.000Not only that, but someone with a collar on, if you have a collar, if you have like a shirt with a collar, that is a weapon against you that's on your neck.
01:45:42.000If you're in a position where you think you might have to defend yourself, you should be wearing something that tears away from your body fairly easily around the upper body, and the lower body, it better give you some movement.
01:45:53.000And you better have some goddamn traction on the bottom of your soles.
01:48:54.000But I would already go to jiu-jitsu and I'd be in my head like...
01:48:57.000You know this instructor shows up, he's got a belly button that has hair in it, and it's a little floppy.
01:49:02.000And I'm like, I reckon if I low kick you, you're going to feel something.
01:49:08.000And that was a big problem, you know, with self-defense courses.
01:49:13.000And me and Preet, the jiu-jitsu guy, we actually used to go to a couple of youth camps where there was troublesome youth, you know, who got into fights.
01:49:22.000And we would do demonstrations where...
01:49:24.000Do you know in the 90s, in Eastern Europe, there was a rise in people getting stabbed because people would think that you take this course on, you know, you take a course every Sunday where they teach you, somebody had to actually be done.
01:49:38.000I remember my friend telling me, like, if you want to attack me with a knife, you're more dangerous to yourself than you are to me, because he believed in this system.
01:49:45.000And then all these retards would be in fucking Latvia or something, and you're with your girl and some crackhead comes up at you.
01:50:21.000But there's men out there who go to bars, they get gacked up, and they just brawl.
01:50:27.000Those are men who are comfortable in the chaos of a bar, you know.
01:50:32.000Also, probably not making good decisions at any stage of their life.
01:50:36.000See, that's what I'm saying, is that even though I might be a jiu-jitsu guy, this guy's gonna bite my ear, he's gonna, you know.
01:50:43.000You don't want to fight people, period.
01:50:45.000So that's when I really put together all those self-defense.
01:50:48.000And me and Preet would go to youth camps and he would like crank up a plastic bottle and he would be like, okay, Ari, do all the cool moves that they all teach, you know, like, hi, hi!
01:51:00.000Behind the back, grab the knife, you know?
01:51:03.000And then he would just, you know, I would like grab his wrist and then he would just pull the knife away and he's like, at that point you have a deep cut in your arm.
01:51:11.000And he would look at those kids and go, so you guys think that if you see your white flesh like a rose open up in your palm, you think you're going to look at that and go, okay, fucking get the pose.
01:52:39.000And here's another point that I have to say that...
01:52:42.000Do you know how crazy it is that you have, okay, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, but you are an actual practitioner of an art form that only 10 years ago was not even...
01:52:55.000Stand-up comedy wasn't even the main form of comedy.
01:53:04.000A subsidiary art form of comedy, like a small genre, and that you, with now your platform and your voice, are a practitioner, you could...
01:53:17.000This is how lucky we as comedians are to have a guy who's an actual practicing comedian.
01:53:23.000You could also be like a famous guy and just live in the shadows, show up at a club every two months, be a superstar.
01:53:32.000Because you're talented and funny enough, do a good set.
01:53:36.000You know, people go home, that was great, that was Joe Rogan, because people come out to see you.
01:53:42.000They'll have a good experience, but you're a guy, you're writing bits, you're like coming to the club, your own club, of course, you're coming to the club, and you're writing, you're working on it, you're fixing it, and how lucky we are to have a guy who's an actual,
01:53:59.000you could be like a piece of shit asshole.
01:55:43.000I filmed myself behind the curtain at Fat Man having to follow Tyler.
01:55:47.000I filmed my own face and the applauses that he's getting and me being like this.
01:55:52.000And I always riff with Tyler, I go, hey Tyler, how about we keep five characters today?
01:55:58.000He has a full, because he has characters, impressions, he goes to the crowd, he jumps, he uses the stage, liners, jokes, anecdotes, callbacks, everything is tight!
01:56:08.000Yeah, it's tight and he's got so much energy, enthusiasm, and that guy was having a hard time.
01:56:13.000He was telling on the podcast that he got dropped by his agent because they couldn't handle any more white straight men.
01:56:53.000Struggling, just because I went to New York, same thing.
01:56:57.000It was just because I didn't really have a connection, nobody really knew me, and I'm also not a guy who's great at showing up at the park.
01:57:09.000I don't do coke, I hang, but I only talk bits.
01:57:13.000And I would go to, let's say, a New York comedy cellar, and there's like 20 guys with backpacks and tripods All waiting to talk to the manager, you know?
01:57:24.000And when I see that, I always feel like, I don't wanna be another asshole.
01:57:28.000You know, hello, I'm the guy, you know?
01:57:31.000So I just felt like, on every audition I had, when you audition in London, that's also, shout out to Adam Egett.
01:57:38.000Do you know how crazy that is, that he watches, Sunday, Monday, he watches everybody.
01:59:33.000Well, the story with me and Adam is, Adam was, he used to work at the Tempe Improv, and that's where I met him, and he was always a great guy.
01:59:41.000And then he came over to L.A. and started working at the Comedy Store when I had left.
01:59:47.000So I had left after the Carlos Mencia thing.
02:00:36.000Jeff Ross said this is like my first time at the club in seven years and like it was that was a cool feeling like to be like I felt comfortable there again.
02:01:08.000But all of a sudden, I'm hanging out with this kid, this young kid just starting out, and then we become friends, and he goes on the road with me, and we work together, we do podcasts together, and then all of a sudden, all these years later, he's got his own fucking Comedy Central special, and he's got his own Comedy Central TV show,
02:01:24.000which is one of the reasons why they gave him a special, and he's filming it in the fucking OR. I'm like, I have to be there.
02:01:58.000We start talking about what is really important.
02:02:02.000What's really important is like a talent coordinator is a lot of times it's just the manager picking headliners to come in for the weekend.
02:02:10.000Or some insane girlfriend of the owner.
02:04:15.000We were driving to your special in San Antonio.
02:04:17.000He picked me up from my house, and I'm like, I'm in the car with Ron White, and he's just talking about DMT doing 90 miles an hour all the way sideways.
02:04:26.000He's like, Ari, there's another world out there.
02:04:29.000I'm like, we're doing 90 in this one, though.
02:06:43.000And I kind of feel like, because I'm a big book guy, I've read everything about the Comedy Store, everything about the history of the industry, Late Night Wars, David Letterman moving, Johnny Carson moving from New York to the Burbank location.
02:07:46.000So we're used to hanging out, having fun, laughing, being fun, and just like being silly together.
02:07:51.000So we're all being silly, so I was just super loose.
02:07:54.000But then also there was that moment where me and you were in your green room and both of us were in our notebooks for about 20 minutes just in silence.
02:08:03.000And I remember after thinking like, holy shit, see this is what it's all about.
02:11:38.000So the bombs were 45, Roswell was 47. Who knows what really happened at Roswell?
02:11:43.000But they do know that whatever they did, they took that wreckage and they flew it in two separate jets to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base because if one of the jets went down, they wanted to make sure they still had the wreckage.
02:12:17.000Well, he saw it when he went in to see it for the first time it had an American flag sticker on it and his first Inclination was oh, this is why people keep seeing these things.
02:12:25.000These are ours But then the way it's described now who knows if it's true, okay?
02:12:31.000But I love to believe it is and it the way he describes it is like they essentially brought him in said Tell me what this is figure this out.
02:12:40.000What is it and they really never did they kind of got a working understanding of it, but But based on some element that was only theoretical at the time, now been proven by one of the particle colliders, they created this particle.
02:13:36.000They had a stable version of this element and this is what powered this generator.
02:13:40.000And this stable version of this element would sit inside of this container and it would be bombarded with radiation and it would somehow or another manipulate gravity.
02:13:51.000It's the wildest story ever, the most fun story ever.
02:14:47.000And then you are just trapped, and that's what hell really is.
02:14:51.000Just stuck on a hard drive with nothing there.
02:14:54.000Imagine living your whole life being paralyzed, but you don't need food or water, but you're lying on the floor of an empty office building.
02:16:23.000But there's always but but yeah, but and that's why I always be there's so much fun in rebellion and breaking the rules and the more I always thought I think the stronger a line is the more power you have of crossing it, you know, right?
02:16:37.000So I just don't think the line is real I think the line is a small very vocal minority of people and The majority of people know what jokes are yeah, but you can't finance these things anymore.
02:16:49.000Oh But then again, if it's all no rules and no like, if you don't get a reaction, then it doesn't have any power, you know?
02:16:56.000It's like when Tony, we were just talking in the green room, when Tony Hinchcliffe said faggot on Netflix at the Tom Brady roast.
02:18:02.000And the idea that we're supposed to back off these words because a select minority of very vocal people who are like super sensitive and probably medicated, like, no.
02:22:45.000Tyler Fisher is very different than David Lucas.
02:22:48.000David Lucas is very different than Ron White.
02:22:50.000Everyone has to be able to express themselves in whatever form they find themselves in going through this life in the best possible way they can.
02:24:13.000Because we're friends, and we've been friends forever, and so we can have fun together.
02:24:16.000So no matter how chaotic the situation is, when you have friends with you, it changes what the situation is.
02:24:21.000So even though that was a live show in front of who knows how many fucking people watching live on Netflix, I was hanging out with you guys.
02:24:54.000Say if you're proficient at 50 yards, you can hit a bullseye on a regular basis at 50 yards.
02:25:01.000You really should be hunting at about 25 yards.
02:25:05.000Because at 25 yards, you're shaking, you got adrenaline, there's anxiety, maybe this is a new thing, you know, there's a wild hog moving 50 yards away from you and you're drawing on it, like, oh my god, is this really happening?
02:25:20.000Like, you probably shouldn't be shooting at 50 yards.
02:25:23.000If you want to shoot at 50 yards, you should be really proficient at 100 yards, and you should have a bunch of shots already under your belt so that you are accustomed to this experience.
02:25:32.000So, with comedy, I was like, okay, I know I've done a bunch of live shows, but I can't just go up on stage like this is a regular live show.
02:25:40.000Like, I've done a bunch of shows in front of a live audience.
02:25:42.000This is going to be a way different pressure, and if I don't agree to that in my mind, and if I don't address that in my mind, and over-prepare, you let that tiny window of doubt open.
02:25:55.000And that little demon of doubt will sneak in and steal your confidence and fuck with your head and give you anxiety and make you start thinking about, what if you bomb?
02:26:29.000That's how I always feel about writing and writing during the day about comedies.
02:26:34.000People always go like, oh, you just write an act?
02:26:36.000And I go, to be honest, 99% of the shit I write during the day doesn't end up actually working on stage.
02:26:42.000Most bits still click on stage, but I have to give an energy out to the universe that, listen, I'm preparing for this just so I know that I'm ready when I go on stage.
02:26:58.000And even though you can't exactly say that I'm writing the perfect set and it's going to go as I wrote it, But the energy that I put out in the universe is that I'm preparing.
02:27:08.000Yeah, it's also, that's not the process.
02:27:11.000The process is you write it exactly as you're going to say it, because you really need to say it in front of an audience to know how to say it.
02:27:17.000And you need to hear it for yourself, too.
02:27:19.000And you need to actually, the whole thing is it's a framework for you being in the moment talking about that thing, right?
02:27:24.000And if you can set that framework up well on a piece of paper or on a computer screen, that's great.
02:27:31.000But then you review it, and then you keep tweaking it, and you keep fucking with it.
02:27:35.000But also if I don't write, I just feel like I'm, why am I not working hard at this?
02:27:41.000And that gives me anxiety of being like, because I remember the first lesson in martial arts that I had, the first lesson in my life, we have compulsory military service in Estonia, which I didn't do.
02:27:53.000The only reason I didn't do it is I did sports, and guys who went to do the military service, they ate shit food, got back injuries, came back, and they lost a year in their athletic life, and a year, as you know, in an athletic version, That's huge.
02:28:08.000But the first lesson I got through martial arts was that why I wasn't successful in mixed martial arts wasn't because I'm physically not...
02:29:27.000Oh, you can be amazing and talented and a fucking beast, but if I do 400 hours and you do 22, No matter, at the end of the day, I'm gonna get you.
02:31:16.000Because the performance is just a byproduct.
02:31:18.000It's a great article, and it's the perfect mindset, especially coming from a guy like Chris, who's put out Bigger and Blacker, and was the other one that was like, it's too...
02:31:31.000There's two great ones when he first came.
02:33:04.000When you started comedy, how many guys did you know who were so much funnier than you?
02:33:08.000Just because they played poker without chips on the table, they would show up on their terms, go on on their favorite room, do their favorite material.
02:33:22.000And then when they get the weekend and it's Thursday, you've got to be funny at 8 o'clock.
02:33:27.000Friday, you've got to be funny at 7 and 10. They would kind of fall apart because they're only playing poker by their rules when they're comfortable with their friends in their favorite rooms.
02:33:38.000But can you be a professional five times a week?
02:33:42.000Also, when you feel uncomfortable going to this new place and then you know you have to do a long time, Do you have the stamina to keep that party mind going on for 45, 50 minutes?
02:34:02.000Well, I think if you're going to prepare for a special, you have to do a lot of hours.
02:34:07.000I don't really think you could get away with...
02:34:08.000Unless you're a guy who does a lot of non-sequiturs, maybe you could piece together like three or four sets and then put them together for one night.
02:34:17.000Because if you know how they go, you could do that, like if you're working in New York City, but there's no substitute for those long-ass sets, man.
02:36:13.000I always say to people that are funny at all, like if you do an open mic night and you make me laugh, I'm like, you have the hardest part down.
02:36:23.000And the more time you spend working on it in every realm, whether the more sets you do, the more recordings you listen to, the more writing you sit in front of your notepad.
02:37:31.000And then the most magical, dude, I had that at Little Boy on Tuesday doing Bottom of the Barrel where I pull out a subject And there's like a shelf in my mind that was there.
02:37:44.000I put a topic there seven, eight years ago.
02:38:23.000One of the door guys, Tim, was a good friend of mine, and he writes me during the day, hey, Tony Hinchcliffe, and this was when, because I told you, this was when Tony, this was fucking eight years ago, he was already good, but he wasn't the heel that he is now.
02:39:12.000And he was big in Australia, but not like pack out the club, half-papered, older people, you know, it was like a Regular crowd, I would say.