The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2186 - Ari Matti

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!

00:00:11.000 Okay, we're up now.

00:00:13.000 So what were you guys talking shop about?

00:00:17.000 What was the question you asked Jamie? 0.97

00:00:19.000 Well, yeah, Jamie's gonna fucking run a train on me. 0.97

00:00:23.000 I felt that there was some controversy. 0.98

00:00:25.000 There was some tension.

00:00:26.000 There was a little tension in your room.

00:00:27.000 When we had a lovely dinner after your show, we went at it a little bit.

00:00:32.000 And we had a little disagreement about compression technologies, preamps, cloud lifters, you know.

00:00:38.000 What is your position?

00:00:39.000 Well, my position is...

00:00:41.000 Well, okay.

00:00:42.000 Go ahead.

00:00:42.000 Hold on.

00:00:43.000 He's coming from a different place, though, also.

00:00:44.000 Okay.

00:00:45.000 Yeah, very different.

00:00:46.000 Let's just say, financially, we're coming from a very different place.

00:00:49.000 Okay.

00:00:50.000 But I try to use the Shure SM7B. We actually got, for my podcast, Tussi Søjad.

00:00:55.000 Shout out.

00:00:56.000 Here we are.

00:00:57.000 It's Estonian.

00:00:58.000 You're not going to...

00:00:59.000 Well, AI, maybe.

00:00:59.000 What did you just shout out?

00:01:00.000 Tussi Søjad.

00:01:01.000 It means...

00:01:02.000 What? 0.96

00:01:03.000 It means direct translation is Pussy Munchers. 0.97

00:01:06.000 It's my podcast. 0.87

00:01:07.000 Oh! 0.60

00:01:08.000 Yeah.

00:01:09.000 So is it in Estonian?

00:01:11.000 Mm-hmm.

00:01:11.000 Wow.

00:01:12.000 Do you think Spotify will translate it to English?

00:01:14.000 Maybe you'll be the first that goes the opposite way. 0.99

00:01:16.000 Bro, if AI translate this podcast, I'm fucked, you know? 0.99

00:01:20.000 Oh. 0.99

00:01:20.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:01:21.000 Like...

00:01:21.000 Oh, take it down.

00:01:22.000 See, this is the thing.

00:01:23.000 They're gonna do that.

00:01:24.000 I know.

00:01:25.000 Spotify's going to do that with...

00:01:26.000 But they don't get my charisma and timing down, though.

00:01:28.000 No.

00:01:29.000 Also, sense of humor, sarcasm, and when you translate...

00:01:32.000 I'm just gonna say... 0.89

00:01:33.000 You sound like a Nazi. 0.99

00:01:34.000 I will be a Nazi. 1.00

00:01:37.000 That's the problem with satire and humor and what is, for lack of a better term, it's called talking shit. 1.00

00:01:45.000 Okay? 0.99

00:01:45.000 And this is what we do on podcasts. 0.99

00:01:47.000 This is what we do in the green room.

00:01:48.000 This is what me and my friends love to do all the time.

00:01:54.000 Right?

00:01:54.000 We do that all the time.

00:01:57.000 We say things we don't mean because it's funny.

00:02:00.000 We say things are inappropriate because it's funny.

00:02:03.000 And it is 100% done with fun.

00:02:07.000 And the problem is today, people like to take things and pretend you're saying something when that's not what you're saying.

00:02:14.000 Yeah, there's a funny comedian in Canada.

00:02:17.000 He's an American dude who moved to Vancouver.

00:02:19.000 He's Dino Archie.

00:02:20.000 He used to say, off the record talk.

00:02:23.000 Right. 1.00

00:02:23.000 It's shit talk. 1.00

00:02:25.000 We're not saying things that we mean. 0.99

00:02:27.000 We're saying things that are fun to say.

00:02:30.000 But what I was going to get to before we did is that the thing that Jamie told me about – well, Tulsi Gabbard was the first person to tell me about it.

00:02:36.000 So I was talking about how great Tulsi Gabbard is, about if you really wanted a great Democratic candidate, that was a woman, woman of color, congresswoman for eight years.

00:02:47.000 She served overseas in a medical unit twice.

00:02:50.000 That's where she got that gray streak in her hair. 1.00

00:02:52.000 She's like an exemplary human being.

00:02:54.000 She likes my Kill Tony bits on Instagram.

00:02:56.000 And they tried to say that I was talking about Kamala Harris.

00:03:00.000 So they edited it out of context.

00:03:02.000 Dude, I've seen your edited videos with ads because- Yeah, there's a lot of AI ads that aren't really me.

00:03:08.000 Because Estonia is in Eastern Europe and the Russian bot system in that country.

00:03:14.000 It's crazy, right?

00:03:15.000 Bro.

00:03:16.000 It's crazy.

00:03:17.000 I've seen fake podcasts where there's a guy on your podcast who's never Whatever has happened.

00:03:22.000 And the guy has a Shure SM7B. Not this mic stand, let's be honest.

00:03:27.000 It's some shittier version.

00:03:28.000 And the backdrop is similar, but you can tell it's not that podcast.

00:03:33.000 Right.

00:03:33.000 But you can do amazing things now with AI. You could do it with video editing, for sure.

00:03:40.000 You could just have a guy splice in him being in this chair, me being in that chair.

00:03:44.000 And if you did it right and you spent your time on it, you could Make it very convincing.

00:03:48.000 And that's just the beginning, man.

00:03:50.000 There's a podcast with me and Steve Jobs.

00:03:52.000 I never met Steve Jobs.

00:03:53.000 I think it's 40 minutes long.

00:03:55.000 How long is the podcast with me and Steve Jobs?

00:03:57.000 But it's a completely AI-generated podcast.

00:04:00.000 It's just audio.

00:04:02.000 But from what I've heard, you can kind of tell, but it's getting close.

00:04:07.000 It's getting to the point where you're not going to be able to tell.

00:04:09.000 You know, when you hear enough computer-generated sentences, You're gonna catch little glitches in the matrix.

00:04:18.000 You know, it's gonna sound a little off.

00:04:19.000 But you can only catch those glitches in the matrix because you're a person who's also around technology, internet, so you kind of see the scam going on.

00:04:29.000 It's not a super visible scam.

00:04:31.000 It's like a, oh, I see it scam.

00:04:33.000 Yeah.

00:04:34.000 So how long is it?

00:04:35.000 20 minutes.

00:04:36.000 Okay.

00:04:36.000 So it's just me.

00:04:37.000 Let me hear some of it.

00:04:40.000 They seem to have a soul in a way.

00:04:43.000 And some people almost get religious about this stuff because it's so powerful and it means so much.

00:04:48.000 Is that good?

00:04:50.000 If a company gets to the point where it's successfully doing a few things, you don't have to try and do everything.

00:04:55.000 We're in the process now of trying to cut the things we're doing so that we can concentrate on the few that are really high on our priority list.

00:05:02.000 Because if you try to do too many things, none of them get done well.

00:05:05.000 Well, that transition...

00:05:06.000 The transition's clunky, but even more importantly, the sound is very different between the environment that I'm talking in and the environment he's talking about.

00:05:15.000 For sure.

00:05:16.000 So either he's not in the room, which I don't do.

00:05:18.000 I don't do Zoom calls. 0.99

00:05:20.000 Those suck. 1.00

00:05:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:21.000 Or, you know, that's fake. 1.00

00:05:23.000 Yeah.

00:05:23.000 It's only two options.

00:05:24.000 If an audio engineer just tweaked it for a...

00:05:26.000 Two minutes, they could make it sound so much better.

00:05:29.000 You could 100% make it sound like we're in the same room.

00:05:36.000 But they didn't.

00:05:37.000 But this is also how many months old?

00:05:39.000 That was two years ago.

00:05:41.000 Oh, crazy.

00:05:42.000 What they have now is way better.

00:05:44.000 It's way better.

00:05:46.000 It's getting to the point where we're not going to know.

00:05:49.000 For sure.

00:05:50.000 We're not going to know what things are, what things are real, what you can generate.

00:05:54.000 I'm sure you've seen the new Unreal Engine, the most complicated video game engine.

00:06:00.000 What is it called?

00:06:01.000 Engine 5?

00:06:01.000 Is that what it's called?

00:06:04.000 It's like this is spooky.

00:06:05.000 It's so good.

00:06:07.000 It's spooky. 0.98

00:06:08.000 It looks like a damn movie like a real movie like in Estonia the movie industry is moving really well and the government was financing for a while the building of like Like a movie fucking, I don't know, factory or like a whole, 0.99

00:06:24.000 you know, like a production studio. 0.99

00:06:27.000 Yes.

00:06:27.000 Which could bring more revenue to the country.

00:06:30.000 Great idea.

00:06:31.000 Right.

00:06:31.000 But it's been paused now and people are like, why isn't it making?

00:06:35.000 But I know exactly why it's paused.

00:06:37.000 Why?

00:06:37.000 Because they're waiting to see how this AI thing plays out.

00:06:40.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:06:40.000 Because let's be honest, green screens and shit, that might be like fax machines, bro. 0.98

00:06:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:06:46.000 It might be like Morse code. 0.99

00:06:48.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:06:49.000 And it happens like this.

00:06:51.000 Well, you saw that Tyler Perry shut down the plans to build this enormous studio.

00:06:55.000 He's going to build an $800 million production studio.

00:06:59.000 And he saw Sora.

00:07:00.000 Tyler Perry.

00:07:00.000 He's the guy who does all those Maeda movies.

00:07:02.000 He's got a bunch of TV series.

00:07:04.000 I thought he's the extreme makeover guy.

00:07:05.000 Move that bus! 1.00

00:07:07.000 Remember that guy? 1.00

00:07:08.000 Dude, that was my shit. 0.99

00:07:10.000 No, he plays a lady in a bunch of famous movies. 1.00

00:07:14.000 Yeah, yeah, he's talking about Maeda.

00:07:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:17.000 So anyway, point Maeda?

00:07:18.000 Madea.

00:07:19.000 Madea, that's right, sorry.

00:07:21.000 Point is, obviously super successful dude, and has this enormous...

00:07:27.000 This is the Unreal 5 engine.

00:07:28.000 He has this enormous production company that he's about to build, and he goes, he sees Sora, and he's like, what?

00:07:36.000 You guys can do this now?

00:07:37.000 You gotta see how that plays out.

00:07:39.000 Dude, it's going to play out real strange.

00:07:41.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:42.000 Because what you see already...

00:07:43.000 So this is the video game.

00:07:45.000 This is hard.

00:07:47.000 This looks pretty good.

00:07:48.000 This is not as convincing as some of the other footage that I saw.

00:07:51.000 The nighttime footage.

00:07:53.000 There's something about daytime footage that looks a little clunky.

00:07:56.000 Or a little better.

00:07:57.000 Oh, that's more reflections.

00:07:58.000 Yeah.

00:07:59.000 I went to Redman's place.

00:08:00.000 This is pretty wild, though.

00:08:01.000 And tried the AI for the first time in my life.

00:08:03.000 Oh, nuts.

00:08:04.000 Ah!

00:08:06.000 He was saying he has a second life, and they are happy with his girlfriend there, and they're living in a whole other world there.

00:08:13.000 Well, Red Band's slightly insane.

00:08:15.000 I know, but the way he was describing to me, I imagine it's like the Neo where I put the thing in and I'm happy now.

00:08:23.000 But it was literally PlayStation 2 graphics.

00:08:27.000 Whenever I want to nerd out about electronics, it's always Redband.

00:08:30.000 We always talk.

00:08:31.000 We always talk about the newest phones, or the newest this, or this does that, that does this.

00:08:36.000 He's just a techno nerd. 1.00

00:08:38.000 He loves that shit. 1.00

00:08:40.000 And he's already giving up on this life because he knows VR is here. 1.00

00:08:45.000 That's such a red, bad move.

00:08:47.000 Every time I tell him to eat something healthy.

00:08:48.000 I was going to go on a diet, but you know what?

00:08:50.000 AI's taking over.

00:08:51.000 I'm just going to get my brain teleported.

00:08:53.000 Exactly.

00:08:53.000 That's the ultimate leap, right?

00:08:55.000 Imagine if they get to a point where they say, we can download your brain into a computer, but you will cease to exist right here, right now.

00:09:00.000 And you just have to assume that whatever consciousness is in your head is your life.

00:09:07.000 And it's not...

00:09:09.000 Just a faction of that consciousness being in a very particular state and time, that consciousness being attached to this particular biological body in this particular place.

00:09:18.000 Like, what makes you, you? 1.00

00:09:20.000 And if you take that shit out and stick it in a machine, what kind of horrific existence is that? 1.00

00:09:27.000 What's screaming into the abyss, unattached from a body but trapped? 1.00

00:09:34.000 Trapped in a newly created computer dimension because you didn't get to go to heaven.

00:09:39.000 Because you got trapped in a metal box.

00:09:42.000 And maybe that's how the aliens contain souls.

00:09:45.000 Maybe that's how they get them.

00:09:46.000 Matrix was basically that whole...

00:09:48.000 That's the thing.

00:09:48.000 Get you to think that you can download your soul into a computer.

00:09:52.000 Like, wait, I'm going to live forever.

00:09:53.000 Going to download my soul into a computer. 1.00

00:09:56.000 And what all you're doing is you're so smart that you're stupid enough to think that technology is capable of recreating you as a whole. 1.00

00:10:06.000 Not just your consciousness. 1.00

00:10:08.000 But what if your fingernails have memories, motherfucker? 1.00

00:10:12.000 What if your whole... 1.00

00:10:13.000 What if it all is a part of a system?

00:10:17.000 And disconnected from that system, your soul is just like...

00:10:23.000 Just separated from love forever.

00:10:26.000 That was what I really liked in the Matrix franchise.

00:10:30.000 Remember when they got out of the Matrix, they went to Zion? 0.80

00:10:33.000 There was that scene where they were fucking, and then there was that scene where they were dancing, and the whole thing... 0.99

00:10:38.000 Who was the fucking... 0.98

00:10:40.000 Morpheus was explaining that, yeah, you're not feeling the things with your physical body in this Matrix world, you know? 0.99

00:10:47.000 You're going through...

00:10:48.000 It's just the synapses are firing in the machine. 1.00

00:10:51.000 And I remember, because I was like a teenager when I saw that movie, and I remember that scene when they were fucking, and I was like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:10:57.000 See, that's the thing. 1.00

00:10:58.000 If you download your brain into a system, and then they came back, the world was shitty. 0.97

00:11:04.000 Remember how shitty Zion looked? 0.99

00:11:07.000 Terrible. 0.99

00:11:08.000 No beaches.

00:11:08.000 Like us in 50 years.

00:11:10.000 And then they were eating.

00:11:10.000 Remember that food?

00:11:11.000 Everything the body needs.

00:11:13.000 Remember that culp?

00:11:14.000 Yeah.

00:11:14.000 But I remember when they did that dancing scene, I remember that, like...

00:11:19.000 Like inspiring a thought where I'm like, huh, maybe even if there is a secondary fucking AI world that comes. 0.82

00:11:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.88

00:11:27.000 There'll be rebellion.

00:11:28.000 See, that's what I'm saying.

00:11:29.000 No, no question whatsoever.

00:11:30.000 That's why I love when people go, is AI going to destroy stand-up comedy?

00:11:34.000 I always love to say that stand-up, luckily, is the art form that can comment on its own demise, kind of, you know?

00:11:42.000 Like even if AI creates the perfect act, the perfect ha-ha-ha laughs per minute.

00:11:47.000 Right, right. 0.99

00:11:48.000 There's gonna be, you're gonna be able to comment on how fucked that is, you know? 0.99

00:11:53.000 Yeah, 100%. 0.98

00:11:54.000 And then on top of that, what we're really doing, We're performing for live audiences.

00:12:03.000 So how is AI going to do that?

00:12:05.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:12:06.000 There's a thing that happens when you see a singer on stage.

00:12:09.000 Someone's got an incredible voice and you see him sing and that voice just echoes.

00:12:13.000 Or someone like Gary Clark Jr. is playing guitar where you're in the room while they're hitting those keys. 0.99

00:12:18.000 You're like, God damn! 0.99

00:12:20.000 And then there's the story. 0.99

00:12:22.000 It's not even only the technique and the incredible voice.

00:12:24.000 It's also the history of his experience.

00:12:29.000 I remember when I was like 19, I worked at a jazz bar. 0.96

00:12:33.000 Didn't know shit about jazz. 0.99

00:12:34.000 I don't know shit about music. 0.99

00:12:35.000 I don't know how to play. 0.95

00:12:35.000 Do you know how to play anything? 0.95

00:12:36.000 No, I don't know how to play anything.

00:12:38.000 I don't know how to draw or play.

00:12:41.000 My hands just don't work like that.

00:12:43.000 I tried guitar.

00:12:44.000 It just doesn't happen.

00:12:46.000 Dudes are just...

00:12:47.000 And they're like, feel that.

00:12:49.000 Nothing...

00:12:50.000 This connection, nothing's happening.

00:12:52.000 Interesting.

00:12:52.000 But I remember working at that bar...

00:12:55.000 There was a famous Estonian guy who was performing like an unplugged.

00:13:01.000 He was like a rock star.

00:13:02.000 And he was performing an unplugged version on the weekends, you know.

00:13:06.000 And technically, he sounded amazing.

00:13:08.000 He was an amazing guitar player.

00:13:10.000 But he was a young guy, maybe only five years older than me.

00:13:14.000 Technically perfect from the traditional training, the school.

00:13:18.000 He had all the things.

00:13:20.000 And for me, that sounds amazing, right?

00:13:22.000 But then, I remember we started having, because it was turning, we had blues nights on Tuesdays, and the owner would fly out from America, like New Orleans, these 65-year-old black dudes that live a rough life. 1.00

00:13:36.000 You can see from their face, from the way they move, it's been a rough life.

00:13:41.000 And the way they would sing, maybe technically, it wouldn't be...

00:13:47.000 Sound as clean, but what you would feel, because I was bartending, and I would look at the audiences, and I would see them also.

00:13:54.000 You feel it.

00:13:55.000 You can't explain.

00:13:56.000 Dude, I don't know.

00:13:57.000 Of course, later, when I got to be friends with some musicians there, they would explain.

00:14:02.000 They would be like, no, no, no.

00:14:03.000 That guy, the other guy was doing the basic ABC, DDD. He's doing a whole different shit right now. 0.99

00:14:08.000 Right. 0.99

00:14:08.000 So it's something that only the people that really know how to play recognize. 0.99

00:14:12.000 Like stand-up.

00:14:13.000 Right.

00:14:14.000 But I feel it.

00:14:16.000 I think that's the case with everything, man.

00:14:18.000 I really do.

00:14:19.000 I think that's the case with everything.

00:14:21.000 Everything.

00:14:21.000 Especially art.

00:14:23.000 I think everything that's a true form of expression.

00:14:26.000 Even chess.

00:14:28.000 I think games people play.

00:14:30.000 I think it exists in everything.

00:14:34.000 Because I remember, I even remember when there was, remember peer-to-peer before Torrents?

00:14:39.000 It was peer-to-peer.

00:14:40.000 Sure.

00:14:40.000 What did you guys have?

00:14:42.000 Kazaa, iMesh?

00:14:43.000 What did we have?

00:14:44.000 What was that one?

00:14:44.000 Name them.

00:14:45.000 Name them, we got them all.

00:14:46.000 Kazaa, iMesh, LimeWire.

00:14:48.000 What was the one that everybody used?

00:14:49.000 We started off at Napster, and then we went into Chazal.

00:14:52.000 Metallica suit Napster.

00:14:54.000 Yeah, I remember the Napster days.

00:14:56.000 Metallica suit Napster, you know?

00:14:57.000 Oh yeah, yeah, Lars Ulrich was very upset.

00:15:00.000 And so was, I had Paul Stanley from Kiss on the podcast.

00:15:05.000 He's just flat out saying those people are stealing, they're stealing money.

00:15:09.000 You know, my position, it was very...

00:15:11.000 I was like, okay, a bomb just went off. 1.00

00:15:14.000 And you could either recognize you have a hole in the ship, or you can go full steam ahead with the original plan, and this motherfucker's gonna sink. 0.99

00:15:22.000 It's like that cartoon when Tom and Jerry, when he's trying to dissipation. 0.96

00:15:26.000 The moment music becomes a digital piece of information that can be uploaded to a hard drive, the moment that happens, it's over.

00:15:36.000 So if you don't realize that the war has been lost and devise some sort of monetization of streaming platform, make it simpler, quicker, faster than anybody else's, and then get it up there quick, because they should have done that the moment Napster came out.

00:15:53.000 They should have hired the best coders.

00:15:57.000 There is no way you're stopping this.

00:16:00.000 The dam broke, water's coming through, and record sales are gone.

00:16:05.000 Record sales just went away.

00:16:08.000 So quickly.

00:16:09.000 Guys were making millions and millions of dollars from record sales.

00:16:14.000 And then they'd go on tour.

00:16:16.000 But even live touring was on a downslope because you didn't need to do that that much.

00:16:22.000 Record sales was the bag.

00:16:24.000 Right.

00:16:24.000 That's why Madonna went back on tour.

00:16:26.000 I mean, I don't know this, but...

00:16:27.000 She probably also wanted to say what's up.

00:16:30.000 For sure. 1.00

00:16:31.000 Let bitches know. 1.00

00:16:32.000 For sure. 1.00

00:16:32.000 She's still around. 1.00

00:16:33.000 For sure.

00:16:33.000 But there's a lot of bands that went back on tour for that very reason.

00:16:37.000 Uh-huh.

00:16:37.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:16:38.000 Definitely.

00:16:39.000 Yeah, their revenue dried up.

00:16:41.000 Which is crazy that one of the biggest entertainment businesses in the world lost all of its sales revenue from recordings.

00:16:51.000 I mean, I don't know.

00:16:52.000 It didn't lose all of it.

00:16:53.000 I'm sure some people still buy some of them.

00:16:55.000 But, like, the drop-off must have been...

00:16:58.000 Crazy.

00:16:59.000 Crazy.

00:17:00.000 Because remember it was all like, you guys had, not cassettes, what did you guys have?

00:17:05.000 8-Tracks.

00:17:06.000 We had 8-Tracks first, and then we had cassettes, and then we had combat discs.

00:17:10.000 Yeah, we only got cassettes, then it was CDs.

00:17:13.000 So the format was always changing.

00:17:15.000 And then it was the Blu-ray and the Microsoft, whatever format they had, battle.

00:17:20.000 So there's always that battle of data.

00:17:22.000 Then for a while, like, USBs were tried, you know, when they would sell small USBs.

00:17:27.000 But then just the internet was like, physical?

00:17:31.000 It was over.

00:17:32.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:17:33.000 And not only that, it's way better.

00:17:35.000 Like, imagine if YouTube was just a bunch of discs that you had to get. 1.00

00:17:40.000 How stupid that would be! 0.74

00:17:43.000 That's a good example of how much things have changed, is the fact that YouTube exists and that YouTube is not a stack of discs that you have to go to a library or a bookstore to get. 0.99

00:17:54.000 YouTube just exists instantaneously.

00:17:58.000 But then again, there was that magic of, I feel lucky at least to have that childhood where I remember that my attention was actually not raped by technology that much, but I had to actually look forward to consuming something and work physical exertion to get it,

00:18:16.000 go to the DVD thing.

00:18:18.000 You would read the back.

00:18:21.000 There's a more maybe commitment to consumption.

00:18:25.000 I think it's going to be very interesting when we look back on human beings.

00:18:30.000 I think we're in the middle of it right now, so we probably don't Really objectively understand how much of an impact it's had on us because it sort of trickled in slowly with just regular cell phones and then like remember those sidekicks people had the sidekicks so you could send texts on it would go sideways remember like wow that's crazy that was like next level and then blackberries if you were fucking serious if you're really getting some shit done answering some emails you had a blackberry And then when the iPhone came out,

00:18:57.000 the whole game just fucking flipped on its head, and now all of a sudden everyone's connected to everyone everywhere, and everyone's anxious and freaking out. 0.67

00:19:04.000 And I think that we grew up before that, and I'm older than you by far, so I grew up way before. 0.69

00:19:11.000 How old are you now?

00:19:12.000 32. Yeah, so I'm almost 57. I'll be 57 in a few days.

00:19:17.000 Yeah, those very important years.

00:19:20.000 That's the big transition years because it was a series of factors that happened in my lifetime.

00:19:25.000 Number one, answering machines. 1.00

00:19:26.000 Like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:19:28.000 You could call someone and leave a message and you would come home and your answering machine light would be like a little dog. 1.00

00:19:33.000 Like if the red light was going on, I'm like, oh, someone loves me.

00:19:37.000 And you go listen to your messages.

00:19:39.000 And then it got to a point where you could call your own phone and get your answering machine to play you your messages. 1.00

00:19:46.000 That was next level shit. 0.99

00:19:48.000 Okay? 1.00

00:19:49.000 Crazy technology.

00:19:50.000 We couldn't believe it.

00:19:51.000 You got to see caller ID. Who's calling you?

00:19:54.000 And then you get to call them back.

00:19:55.000 Star 69. What's up?

00:19:57.000 And then VHS tapes come along.

00:20:00.000 Maybe not even and then.

00:20:02.000 It was kind of along in the same soup.

00:20:03.000 Because it all happened while I was in high school.

00:20:05.000 So while I was in high school, there was probably answering machines before I was in high school, but I was aware of them in high school, then caller ID, and then VHS tapes.

00:20:13.000 All that happened.

00:20:14.000 So now all of a sudden you could just get stuff and play it anytime you wanted to.

00:20:19.000 So it changed like watching movies.

00:20:20.000 You could pause it if you had to take a leak.

00:20:23.000 The whole thing changed.

00:20:24.000 People started watching movies at home.

00:20:26.000 Blockbuster became a giant thing.

00:20:27.000 Nobody would have imagined Blockbuster's going to go bye-bye.

00:20:30.000 Nobody.

00:20:30.000 It was the thing.

00:20:32.000 You go to Blockbuster on Friday night, you see what's the fucking latest movies. 0.99

00:20:36.000 Oh, great. 0.99

00:20:36.000 There's one left. 0.99

00:20:37.000 Yeah, we had like Video Planet. 0.95

00:20:39.000 It was like the top five most making money fucking companies in the country. 0.98

00:20:43.000 Imagine. 0.99

00:20:43.000 They were on an ice cube. 0.99

00:20:46.000 They were on an ice cube and a hot piece of tea.

00:20:48.000 That's what I'm always wondering.

00:20:49.000 What is the industry right now that doesn't even know?

00:20:51.000 I think there's a lot of them.

00:20:54.000 I don't think it's a...

00:20:56.000 I think AI is going to fuck up this system that we have going for us.

00:21:00.000 I think that's why...

00:21:02.000 That's part of the reason why there's a lot of scrambling and clamoring for power right now.

00:21:07.000 Because I think people have a real understanding at the highest level that it's only...

00:21:14.000 We only have so much more time before...

00:21:19.000 This AI thing becomes one of the most enormous aspects of society.

00:21:25.000 And the power consumption that it's going to need is astronomical. 0.99

00:21:29.000 They're literally building nuclear power plants for these fucking things. 0.99

00:21:32.000 And they're going full throttle. 0.99

00:21:36.000 And we're headed towards whatever this is, and no one knows.

00:21:39.000 And I think that's one of the reasons why governments are trying to crack down on social media and trying to control it and stop people from saying things.

00:21:47.000 In the UK, they're arresting people for saying certain things.

00:21:51.000 They're trying to stop this thing from overwhelming them.

00:21:57.000 And you can't.

00:21:58.000 It's going to overwhelm all of us.

00:22:00.000 It's not just going to overwhelm government.

00:22:02.000 It's going to overwhelm civilization.

00:22:05.000 And it's going to happen in a bunch of stages, just like it happened with us, where we got caller ID, we got answering machines, we got VHS tapes, then we got computers, then we got online, and then we got 14.4, then we got 56k, and then you start seeing pictures show up,

00:22:20.000 like they download them nice and slow, and then people got cable.

00:22:24.000 Oh my god, you get cable internet?

00:22:26.000 So people had cable internet where you could just like...

00:22:28.000 Remember how many pixels porn used to have?

00:22:30.000 Like how low... 0.99

00:22:31.000 Oh, it was blurry as fuck. 0.99

00:22:33.000 I remember I had a point when I was like, mom goes to store and you ask which store so you know how much time you got in the bank. 0.99

00:22:41.000 And I remember jacking off and halfway through the video, it's two dudes.

00:22:46.000 I just didn't.

00:22:47.000 The pixels.

00:22:47.000 It was just such shitty quality.

00:22:49.000 That's uncomfortable. 0.81

00:22:50.000 It was just very...

00:22:51.000 Well... 1.00

00:22:51.000 Didn't you know when they were both sucking each other's dicks that something was up? 1.00

00:22:54.000 Yeah, when they were... 1.00

00:22:58.000 Where is the girl?

00:23:00.000 When is she coming in?

00:23:02.000 But it was like in a sauna in the dark and I saw the dude's like hog hanging. 0.97

00:23:08.000 But he had a nice butt and it all looked legit.

00:23:10.000 You ever been flashed in the sauna by a dude? 0.97

00:23:12.000 Flat?

00:23:13.000 We only go naked, you know that, right?

00:23:15.000 Oh, in your country?

00:23:16.000 Of course.

00:23:16.000 And if you have pants on, that's creepy and that's weird.

00:23:18.000 If you come with pants, we would have an issue.

00:23:21.000 Really?

00:23:21.000 Because it's weird.

00:23:22.000 What are you hiding?

00:23:23.000 What's the thing? 1.00

00:23:23.000 My dick. 1.00

00:23:24.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:23:24.000 What's going on? 1.00

00:23:25.000 Dude's just staring at my dick? 1.00

00:23:27.000 I'd rather just do my underwear. 1.00

00:23:27.000 We all stare at each other's dicks. 1.00

00:23:28.000 I've seen... 1.00

00:23:28.000 Good luck with that. 1.00

00:23:29.000 Like in the green room. 0.98

00:23:31.000 In the green room, comedians were talking about how many dicks they've seen in their lifetime. 0.97

00:23:35.000 And I remember they were saying, like, numbers. 0.99

00:23:37.000 Bro, I've seen 16,000 to 22,000 dicks. 0.86

00:23:42.000 Do you think that's healthy? 0.98

00:23:43.000 Yeah.

00:23:47.000 Yeah, it's normal, you know? 1.00

00:23:48.000 Normal shit! 1.00

00:23:49.000 Normal shit! 1.00

00:23:49.000 Just looking at dicks! 1.00

00:23:51.000 And then sometimes I remember in high school we all showered. 0.99

00:23:54.000 There was always one weird kid that would not shower with us, and you make fun of him, show me, you know, what's going on? 1.00

00:23:59.000 Why didn't you show us your dick, you know? 1.00

00:24:02.000 That's funny. 1.00

00:24:02.000 And then sometimes the shower would be a bit warm, and you would get a little bit of a vein going there, you know, you get a little bit of a 25%, dude. 1.00

00:24:09.000 And then you're lathering it down. 0.90

00:24:12.000 Yeah, oh yeah, trying to just fucking mentally just make it go away. 0.95

00:24:19.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:24:20.000 Naked dudes in saunas is an odd thing. 0.88

00:24:23.000 I only feel comfortable when it's naked.

00:24:26.000 I used to be a member of 24 Hour Fitness in Woodland Hills, California.

00:24:31.000 And the guy who was the manager there was this cool guy.

00:24:33.000 I used to talk to him all the time, my friend Eddie.

00:24:35.000 And I used to live there.

00:24:36.000 And he was the former manager of the West Hollywood one. 0.82

00:24:40.000 So he said, he goes, bro, the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness, he goes, it was basically like a gay hookup spot. 0.99

00:24:49.000 That's all it was. 0.98

00:24:50.000 Like, these guys would just go ham.

00:24:52.000 Just get after each other.

00:24:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:54.000 And, like, you'd have to say, hey, don't do that.

00:24:56.000 But it's like you've got guys who want to fuck guys hanging out, all working out together and getting sweaty with, like, guy mentality. 0.99

00:25:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:25:06.000 Like, come on, let's do it here.

00:25:07.000 Yeah, and they're doing it there. 0.69

00:25:09.000 And there's all guys that are gay there, so they're like, what are you gonna do? 1.00

00:25:13.000 And he was like, dude, it was crazy. 0.99

00:25:15.000 He goes, I used to have to stop people from fucking in the sauna. 0.98

00:25:18.000 The smell in the showers. 0.95

00:25:20.000 I'm sure they don't do that anymore, folks.

00:25:22.000 Yeah.

00:25:22.000 I'm sure that's all been cleaned up.

00:25:24.000 But back then, he was telling me it was bananas. 1.00

00:25:26.000 I can imagine that 24 fitness still existing and then this podcast coming out and there's just 800 gay dudes waiting, fuck. 1.00

00:25:34.000 They're like, Joe Rogan, can you stop saying this is the suck and fuck spot? 1.00

00:25:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:39.000 Make sure it's the right gym.

00:25:41.000 I don't want to slander anyone.

00:25:46.000 There is a 24 Hour Fitness, right?

00:25:48.000 Because I know there's another one.

00:25:49.000 There's another gym like that.

00:25:50.000 I used to actually work out at a gym that was in a gay neighborhood.

00:25:54.000 I used to have a bit about it.

00:25:55.000 I used to work out at Gold's Gym on Coal.

00:25:58.000 And it was in full-on West Hollywood. 0.56

00:26:00.000 Like, super gay gym. 0.79

00:26:03.000 But it was really close to the studio where we filmed news radio. 0.51

00:26:06.000 So I just got a membership there.

00:26:08.000 So I'd get off work and I'd go lift. 0.96

00:26:10.000 And I'd just go lift with these hungry gay dudes. 1.00

00:26:12.000 These dudes were hungry, man!

00:26:15.000 They're friendly. 0.99

00:26:17.000 Nobody fucked with me. 0.83

00:26:19.000 No unwanted attention or anything like that. 0.99

00:26:22.000 But I didn't take a lot of showers there.

00:26:25.000 I remember there was an old guy at the gym.

00:26:27.000 It was right in the middle of Santa Monica Boulevard.

00:26:29.000 Yeah.

00:26:29.000 It's closed now.

00:26:30.000 Oh, good.

00:26:31.000 Okay, good, good, good.

00:26:32.000 It's closed.

00:26:32.000 Okay.

00:26:33.000 So Gold's is the Gold's on Kohl's, the one I'm talking about.

00:26:37.000 Yeah, that's the one that's not West Hollywood.

00:26:38.000 It's like East Hollywood.

00:26:40.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:26:41.000 Whatever it was, it was gay. 0.99

00:26:44.000 But like, men. 0.99

00:26:45.000 You know, like big, hairy, muscular, gay dudes looking for more of that. 0.99

00:26:52.000 So it's like, yikes! 1.00

00:26:53.000 Men, fucking men. 1.00

00:26:54.000 Yeah, it's like a wounded gazelle going through a pack of hyenas. 1.00

00:26:58.000 Like, excuse me, pardon me, just want to get to the river.

00:27:02.000 I remember there was an older guy in my gym, and that was the first time I also experienced where it's like, it's an old guy, you know?

00:27:12.000 I'm not threatened, but the look he had in his eyes...

00:27:19.000 It just made me feel vulnerable.

00:27:22.000 Because he wanted to penetrate you.

00:27:24.000 Because men have a certain...

00:27:25.000 And I remember then I started thinking.

00:27:27.000 That was when I was younger.

00:27:28.000 That was the first time I started thinking. 1.00

00:27:30.000 Oh shit, that's how women feel. 1.00

00:27:33.000 Plus the physical. 1.00

00:27:35.000 Oh yeah!

00:27:36.000 That's like Brock Lesnar looking at you like...

00:27:39.000 That's like a... 0.99

00:27:42.000 Dude, I have had gay guys hit on me that I could kill, and it made me uncomfortable. 0.98

00:27:48.000 It just gets to this, like, hey, you know I'm not gay, so what are you doing? 0.98

00:27:53.000 Exactly.

00:27:53.000 You're just trying to make me uncomfortable.

00:27:54.000 Exactly.

00:27:55.000 And you get nervous. 0.51

00:27:56.000 And this old guy would give me looks, and I would just feel, and it was the first time in my life, I'm just like, dude, I'm jacked, I'm doing fucking MMA, but I'm feeling vulnerable.

00:28:06.000 And then one point in the shower, This was like, you know when showers have the booths, you know, the separation booths?

00:28:13.000 And it was me and him.

00:28:15.000 So, I go in the sauna.

00:28:18.000 The gym is empty.

00:28:19.000 I go in the sauna.

00:28:20.000 I'm alone.

00:28:21.000 It's Dignation, you know.

00:28:23.000 Dignation.

00:28:23.000 So, I'm in the sauna.

00:28:25.000 I hear the shower door.

00:28:27.000 Open and in my head, I know, you know in your head, you're like, there's other people at this gym, but let me bet.

00:28:34.000 Because I saw him looking at me.

00:28:36.000 I go, let me bet.

00:28:37.000 And you know it.

00:28:39.000 He comes in, he sees one towel up, you know, so there's somebody in the sauna.

00:28:43.000 He comes to the sauna.

00:28:45.000 I wait for him to go to the showers first, because I know if I go, The next booth over, this guy's joining.

00:28:52.000 So he goes into the corner.

00:28:54.000 I pick the opposite corner.

00:28:56.000 And then at one point, I'm showering and I just...

00:28:59.000 It's that human thing where you feel something is watching or something...

00:29:06.000 It's a tension. 0.99

00:29:07.000 And I look through the fucking... 0.99

00:29:10.000 All the separation booths, they had a small gap. 0.99

00:29:13.000 That you can see through all of them.

00:29:15.000 And he's got shampoo, and he's going knuckles. 0.99

00:29:18.000 Other end, I just see his one eye like this, and his dick in his hand. 1.00

00:29:24.000 He's not jacking off. 1.00

00:29:26.000 He's just holding on to it?

00:29:27.000 But something's going on.

00:29:28.000 He's getting ready.

00:29:29.000 He's warming up. 1.00

00:29:30.000 He's showing you that he's got a dick. 1.00

00:29:33.000 But then, and he had this look. 1.00

00:29:35.000 Serious.

00:29:36.000 Yeah.

00:29:37.000 Angry.

00:29:38.000 And...

00:29:39.000 I'm leaving the gym, and I know the administrator girls working at the gym. 1.00

00:29:45.000 I pass them, and in my head, I'm thinking, I just got sexually assaulted, actually.

00:29:51.000 No, that's not assault. 0.99

00:29:52.000 Don't be a baby.

00:29:53.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:29:54.000 See?

00:29:54.000 No, he made you feel creepy.

00:29:56.000 Made me feel creepy.

00:29:57.000 Yeah.

00:29:57.000 So I feel, I can't keep this in.

00:29:59.000 I turn around, I go to the administrator, I go, hey, and we're laughing about it. 0.99

00:30:03.000 I go, this fucking old guy. 1.00

00:30:04.000 And then we wait. 1.00

00:30:06.000 And he takes like 40 to 50 minutes to come out of that show.

00:30:10.000 See, what I think is he's shameful.

00:30:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:13.000 And he comes out.

00:30:15.000 His face is red.

00:30:16.000 He has a hoodie on.

00:30:17.000 And he's just ran out of the gym.

00:30:19.000 Never came back.

00:30:20.000 I think it just...

00:30:21.000 That's that post-nut, you know.

00:30:23.000 Well, he probably is embarrassed that he did it again.

00:30:28.000 It's probably one of those things.

00:30:29.000 He's probably been kicked out of gyms before.

00:30:31.000 He's got an exit strategy.

00:30:34.000 That's what he does. 0.98

00:30:35.000 He's a shower jerker.

00:30:36.000 Those exist. 0.97

00:30:37.000 That's why I don't like walking around naked. 1.00

00:30:39.000 If you were a woman and you have your beautiful vagina and their co-edged showers, would you really be comfortable washing your butthole and your vagina in front of a bunch of men? 1.00

00:30:50.000 No, of course not. 1.00

00:30:51.000 We are. 1.00

00:30:52.000 Gay guys are real, and if your little booty hole and your little dick is out flopping around in front of them, to me, as a person who doesn't want any of that, I would imagine that I would not enjoy watching someone stare at my Johnson, 1.00

00:31:13.000 who wants to take a piece of that sock on it. 1.00

00:31:19.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:31:20.000 We don't need to think about that.

00:31:23.000 Men think that way.

00:31:25.000 That's why you can't have men in a room with naked girls. 1.00

00:31:29.000 We did that. 1.00

00:31:30.000 In our culture, when I was a little kid, I saw grown pussy all the time. 1.00

00:31:34.000 This is why your country is so fucked up. 1.00

00:31:38.000 You guys, you barely survived Viking wars, and then what's left over, you know, you're just a bunch of fucking maniacal crazy people showing each other's pussies and dicks to each other. 1.00

00:31:49.000 I feel like some things should be sacred. 1.00

00:31:51.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.99

00:31:52.000 Like, I have no problem with being around gay guys, but I don't think I should be showing them my cock. 0.99

00:31:57.000 I don't think that's the right move. 1.00

00:31:58.000 I also don't think ladies, as comfortable as you are naked, should be in a room full of men and just show your bare pussy. 1.00

00:32:05.000 That seems problematic. 1.00

00:32:07.000 It seems like it's going to cause issues for you.

00:32:10.000 I wouldn't do that if I was you.

00:32:11.000 If you want to wear a bikini, great, everything's covered.

00:32:14.000 Which is like, how funny is that?

00:32:16.000 The bikini thing is hilarious. 0.98

00:32:18.000 That there's this...

00:32:19.000 Little, tiny, little piece of cloth.

00:32:22.000 Little, tiny, little piece...

00:32:25.000 You're on Instagram, they have that little...

00:32:26.000 Little Dorito.

00:32:27.000 And you see...

00:32:28.000 All I don't see is the actual episode, but...

00:32:33.000 By the way, I like it.

00:32:35.000 I'm not saying you shouldn't do it.

00:32:37.000 Please don't stop wearing them.

00:32:39.000 I think they're great.

00:32:40.000 I like G-strings.

00:32:42.000 I like girls with beautiful bodies expressing themselves, wearing whatever they want to wear. 1.00

00:32:47.000 I'm just saying, it's so different than shorts.

00:32:49.000 Like, if a dude wears Speedos, he's a freak, right? 0.99

00:32:54.000 A dude in Speedos, unless you're in your fucking country, but a dude in America in Speedos is a weirdo. 1.00

00:33:00.000 Some dude in Speedos, that guy's a weirdo. 1.00

00:33:02.000 If you don't have goggles on, If you didn't come from a long-ass swim, you fucking weirdo, why are you wearing Speedos? 1.00

00:33:08.000 Everybody wears shorts. 1.00

00:33:10.000 But ladies, that's per Christ's Speedo. 1.00

00:33:12.000 That's Estonia. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Every stepdad, every man I've ever seen growing up, I've seen their dick. 0.99

00:33:18.000 That's inflammation in its human form. 0.99

00:33:20.000 That is true.

00:33:21.000 That is an inflamed body.

00:33:22.000 That's an inflamed body.

00:33:23.000 I wouldn't recommend that.

00:33:26.000 But that...

00:33:28.000 It's what makes the g-string funnier, right?

00:33:30.000 The Speedos, that's what makes all of it funnier.

00:33:33.000 But it's just, it's funny the difference between like, okay, women's formal attire, right?

00:33:39.000 So not even formal, but like say a woman who's a presenter on television, right? 0.79

00:33:44.000 Skirt, no problem. 0.98

00:33:46.000 Bare toes, open-toed shoes, no problem at all.

00:33:50.000 Have one of them ones that dangles off your foot a little bit, not all the way on, no one cares. 0.99

00:33:57.000 Vagina curtain that covers about 12 inches from your waist down. 1.00

00:34:02.000 That's fine. 0.87

00:34:03.000 Boobs pressed out together and pushed up and forward. 0.99

00:34:09.000 I love how that's formal.

00:34:10.000 No sleeves.

00:34:12.000 No sleeves.

00:34:13.000 Bare arms.

00:34:14.000 As much skin as you could possibly get without being naked and to be dressed on television.

00:34:20.000 And that's formal.

00:34:22.000 Lipstick.

00:34:23.000 Yeah.

00:34:24.000 They're always hot.

00:34:27.000 Painted nails, painted toenails, everything smooth and polished and shaved.

00:34:33.000 That's fine.

00:34:34.000 That's the news.

00:34:35.000 This is totally fine.

00:34:39.000 And that's formal.

00:34:40.000 Imagine if men in gym shorts and tank tops were giving the news. 1.00

00:34:48.000 How fucking stupid it would look. 1.00

00:34:50.000 Imagine if all these people that you see on the news... 1.00

00:34:54.000 Imagine Don Lemon in his boxer shorts with a tank top on giving the news.

00:34:59.000 Yeah.

00:34:59.000 Well, that's kind of what a dress is.

00:35:01.000 For sure.

00:35:02.000 A dress with a skirt for those Fox News ladies? 1.00

00:35:05.000 How is that different than me and these shorts that I'm wearing right now and a tank top?

00:35:10.000 How is it different?

00:35:11.000 It's just less threatening, maybe.

00:35:13.000 And it's nice.

00:35:14.000 It's nice.

00:35:15.000 I don't want to discourage it.

00:35:16.000 I just think, how crazy is the difference between what men wear versus what women wear? 1.00

00:35:21.000 We have a jacket on.

00:35:23.000 Like, it's cold out. 1.00

00:35:24.000 We have a fucking vest and a tie and a shirt and all this shit, and women can essentially be almost naked. 1.00

00:35:33.000 And you only assume they have underwear on. 1.00

00:35:37.000 That might be a thrill, if you don't have underwear on the news.

00:35:40.000 Well, if she had underwear on, maybe you'd be able to see it through the garments on the outside. 0.99

00:35:43.000 That would be terrible.

00:35:44.000 That would ruin the look. 0.91

00:35:46.000 Ruin the look. 1.00

00:35:48.000 No one's gonna look at my pussy. 1.00

00:35:50.000 Ha ha ha ha! 1.00

00:35:54.000 Have you ever had a girl like that?

00:35:55.000 Did you go to a nightclub and they're not wearing underwear?

00:35:58.000 I have not.

00:35:59.000 I would imagine that's a wild lady. 1.00

00:36:00.000 It's hot.

00:36:01.000 Yes.

00:36:02.000 I was one time dancing with a girl.

00:36:04.000 And she told you?

00:36:05.000 No.

00:36:05.000 She grabbed my hand.

00:36:06.000 We were holding. 0.98

00:36:07.000 And she, you know, walking to the dance floor, you know how chicks just fucking push people out of the way. 1.00

00:36:11.000 Right. 0.96

00:36:12.000 And then we get to the dance floor and she just pulls my arm.

00:36:15.000 Where is this?

00:36:16.000 And it's soaking. 0.99

00:36:18.000 Damn. 1.00

00:36:19.000 She's a wild one. 1.00

00:36:21.000 Wild one.

00:36:21.000 Viking babies.

00:36:22.000 That's what that is.

00:36:23.000 That's what it is.

00:36:24.000 The survivors.

00:36:25.000 And she was strong out there.

00:36:27.000 Survivors of the massacres.

00:36:30.000 And she was living in Australia. 0.99

00:36:32.000 She had one of those jeeps that has one of those fucking things up front that kills the kangaroos, you know? 0.99

00:36:36.000 Whoa. 0.99

00:36:38.000 We saw one of those in San Antonio, right in front of the production trucks. 0.99

00:36:43.000 Did you see that fucking crazy thing that guy had? 0.98

00:36:44.000 The kangaroo ones are super tall. 0.99

00:36:46.000 Over the top?

00:36:46.000 Oh, because they're big.

00:36:47.000 Because they're big.

00:36:48.000 It looks mad, Max.

00:36:50.000 It looks like I'm up front.

00:36:53.000 It looks crazy. 1.00

00:36:54.000 And she had that jeep, she had like horns, and then the balls hanging from the back, you know, the soft balls that they had in the back, they had that, and she was just a fucking wild one. 1.00

00:37:03.000 Wow. 0.99

00:37:04.000 They had a kangaroo shield in the front of her vehicle. 0.92

00:37:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:08.000 And this was like when I visited Australia, and in my head I was like, kangaroos are like cutie patooties, but when you go to Australia, they'll tell them, like, we hate them.

00:37:16.000 Because they just keep jumping in front of cars.

00:37:18.000 Well, they're everywhere now too. 0.99

00:37:20.000 They're fucking everywhere. 0.99

00:37:21.000 They have a lot of kangaroos. 1.00

00:37:23.000 It's a weird animal, man.

00:37:25.000 It's a marsupial?

00:37:27.000 Like, it's so strange.

00:37:27.000 They have a pouch.

00:37:28.000 They keep their babies in their skin. 0.97

00:37:30.000 How'd they develop a backpack?

00:37:32.000 It is the insanest evolutionary...

00:37:35.000 A little pouch.

00:37:36.000 A bag.

00:37:37.000 How does that...

00:37:38.000 I mean, how does nature make you get a bag?

00:37:42.000 That's so crazy! 0.99

00:37:43.000 Out of all the animals, they're like, where the fuck did that come from? 0.99

00:37:48.000 If you look at a deer and then you look at an elk, you go, oh, I can kind of see. 0.99

00:37:52.000 You look at a moose, you look at a caribou, you're like, oh, I can kind of see.

00:37:56.000 And they're like, what's that?

00:37:57.000 And why is it only in this one spot?

00:37:59.000 And why does it jump like- Yo, is that an alien?

00:38:01.000 What is that thing?

00:38:02.000 Why did it develop on Australia and nowhere else? 0.99

00:38:05.000 What the fuck is that thing? 0.99

00:38:08.000 And how come there's nothing that can kill it? 1.00

00:38:09.000 And how come you stand on your tail and do like a Steve-O kick?

00:38:13.000 Yeah! 0.99

00:38:13.000 And kick you! 0.99

00:38:14.000 Hard! 0.99

00:38:14.000 And do like a Steve-O kick? 0.99

00:38:15.000 They kick you hard!

00:38:16.000 Yeah! 1.00

00:38:17.000 They fuck you up. 1.00

00:38:17.000 They disembowel people, man. 1.00

00:38:19.000 You gotta be really careful with those fuckers. 1.00

00:38:21.000 Oh, and they're... 1.00

00:38:21.000 People die from the big ones. 1.00

00:38:23.000 Are the big ones the gray ones?

00:38:24.000 Is that the gray ones with the big ones or the red ones?

00:38:27.000 Eddie Ift went over there and he said he was walking through a backyard and there was like a six foot tall kangaroo. 0.99

00:38:32.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99

00:38:32.000 He thought it was fake. 0.99

00:38:33.000 He thought it was fake.

00:38:34.000 He didn't know what it was and his friend was screaming at him.

00:38:37.000 Get!

00:38:37.000 Turn around!

00:38:39.000 Get the fuck away from it! 1.00

00:38:40.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:38:41.000 The red kangaroo.

00:38:43.000 That's the big one?

00:38:44.000 Yeah.

00:38:44.000 The marsupial.

00:38:45.000 That sounds like a fucking alien too. 1.00

00:38:47.000 100 pounds. 1.00

00:38:48.000 So you got to think a 100 pound thing that could run 43 miles an hour And it could probably strangle you.

00:38:55.000 Like those ones that are jacked. 1.00

00:38:56.000 You ever see them when they choke out dogs and shit? 1.00

00:38:59.000 Of course, dude. 1.00

00:38:59.000 Look at the fucking muscles on that thing. 1.00

00:39:01.000 Of course, dude. 1.00

00:39:02.000 What a freaky animal to have all over the place.

00:39:04.000 But it just looks...

00:39:05.000 Look at that one.

00:39:06.000 I've seen all those pictures, by the way.

00:39:08.000 That's one that went to my gym.

00:39:10.000 That's Gold's Gym.

00:39:11.000 Look at that dude.

00:39:14.000 This guy is...

00:39:15.000 Yo, he's just chilling.

00:39:17.000 Flaunting giant muscles.

00:39:19.000 Look at them. 1.00

00:39:20.000 Fucking guns on that, dude. 1.00

00:39:21.000 What's up, player? 1.00

00:39:22.000 Can you imagine getting in a scratching match with that thing with his giant claws?

00:39:26.000 No, no, you're done.

00:39:27.000 I mean... 1.00

00:39:27.000 But they'll fuck you up, man. 1.00

00:39:28.000 They're dangerous. 1.00

00:39:30.000 And they're all over the place.

00:39:31.000 But that was my question.

00:39:32.000 Like, what was supposed to be killing them?

00:39:34.000 Because there's no, like, infestations of wild animals like that unless something disrupts the ecosystem.

00:39:41.000 Huh.

00:39:43.000 Usually there's a balance, right?

00:39:45.000 There's always going to be a balance between wolves and antelope, or wolves and bears, wolves and deer, because they're going to figure out who wins.

00:39:55.000 And if the wolves kill off too many of the deer, then their population's going to drop, they're going to run out of food, and there's going to be some sort of consequences.

00:40:03.000 And then their population drops down, and then the deer population comes back a little bit. 0.85

00:40:08.000 Nature has a way of balancing itself out in most environments until human beings step in and start fucking with things. 0.86

00:40:15.000 So my question is, what happened over in Australia that that thing, that one crazy animal, becomes like hordes of them, swarms of them? 0.87

00:40:26.000 Show some of those videos of the swarms of kangaroos just running.

00:40:30.000 So these people are in their car, and you see just like, I don't even know what the number is.

00:40:33.000 And they're fast.

00:40:35.000 They're fast, but it's also like, why are there so many of them?

00:40:38.000 In any environment where there's something like this, there'd be something bigger that eats it.

00:40:43.000 In every environment, there'd be a bear, there'd be something.

00:40:46.000 I guess Australia has crocodiles, but I don't think they're doing such a good job of killing these things.

00:40:51.000 Natural predators are just like dog-like animals.

00:40:54.000 Oh, maybe the thylacine. 1.00

00:40:57.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

00:40:58.000 Okay. 1.00

00:40:58.000 The Tasmanian tiger that went extinct. 1.00

00:41:01.000 That's a native of Australia as well.

00:41:04.000 They have that in Australia.

00:41:05.000 But they have to shoot so many kangaroos now. 0.77

00:41:07.000 Where is that, Jamie?

00:41:08.000 Tasmanian wolf and a dingo and a wedge-tailed eagle.

00:41:12.000 Okay, so the humans probably killed all those animals.

00:41:15.000 The humans probably killed all the dingoes. 1.00

00:41:18.000 What was the other animal?

00:41:20.000 Wedge-tailed eagle.

00:41:22.000 Makes sense.

00:41:23.000 That's probably exactly what it is.

00:41:24.000 So the thylacine was Australia though, right?

00:41:29.000 This says Tasmania.

00:41:30.000 I just typed in marsupial natural predators and Tasmanian wolf is the first one listed.

00:41:34.000 Thylacine?

00:41:35.000 Tasmanian wolf.

00:41:36.000 Yeah, but the thylacine, the Tasmanian tiger.

00:41:39.000 And then, yeah, it says Tasmanian tiger before they were extinct and also humans.

00:41:42.000 Was that ever in Australia or am I making that up?

00:41:46.000 I feel like that's in Australia.

00:41:48.000 I mean, it definitely was in the movies as far as I know.

00:41:50.000 Right.

00:41:51.000 There's a good movie about a guy who goes to kill it.

00:41:54.000 Because they're trying to find it, the last thylacine. 1.00

00:41:57.000 What the fuck is it? 0.99

00:41:59.000 Willem Dafoe. 1.00

00:42:00.000 It's a good movie.

00:42:02.000 It is in Australia.

00:42:04.000 So there was that thing.

00:42:07.000 You ever seen one?

00:42:07.000 They're freaky looking.

00:42:09.000 Show the video of the last known living thylacine.

00:42:13.000 That's a thylacine. 1.00

00:42:14.000 Look at the mouth on that fucking thing. 1.00

00:42:16.000 Look how big its mouth is. 1.00

00:42:17.000 Isn't that insane? 0.85

00:42:18.000 It's like a horror movie. 1.00

00:42:19.000 Look at his fucking mouth. 1.00

00:42:21.000 Have you saw that thing opening its face at you? 1.00

00:42:24.000 It's a dog with a stripe and shit? 1.00

00:42:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:26.000 It looks like a tiger.

00:42:27.000 It's a weird marsupial, in fact.

00:42:29.000 Rare photos of the last...

00:42:31.000 I'm pretty sure they're marsupial as well.

00:42:33.000 So they think that thing might be still alive.

00:42:36.000 There might be limited numbers of them.

00:42:38.000 Well, this isn't a Tasmanian.

00:42:40.000 That's not real.

00:42:41.000 Oh, this is in color.

00:42:43.000 Oh, they colorized it.

00:42:44.000 Because I think the film is from like the 1930s.

00:42:47.000 But this is the last one. 0.99

00:42:49.000 And look, they have it in a fucking box, man. 1.00

00:42:53.000 God, zoos creep me out. 1.00

00:42:55.000 We just get so comfortable with torturing some animal mentally. 0.99

00:42:59.000 I understand, but can you bitches afford a larger piece of land, goddammit? 1.00

00:43:04.000 This concrete fucking... 1.00

00:43:05.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:43:06.000 You get the last of these things alive and you make it suffer in a small box with no pillow.

00:43:12.000 There's nothing in there.

00:43:12.000 I'm not a big zoo guy either.

00:43:13.000 I hate them.

00:43:14.000 Even as a kid, I remember, like, I just didn't...

00:43:18.000 I remember seeing a hippo in a zoo and all he has is a small...

00:43:25.000 It's an Estonian zoo too.

00:43:27.000 And it's a small...

00:43:29.000 Just a dribble of water on his head.

00:43:32.000 And he would just...

00:43:33.000 Because they're all drugged out.

00:43:35.000 And they would just do this...

00:43:38.000 Because also, the animal doesn't know.

00:43:44.000 Dude, I was in Massachusetts once, and I was on my way home from—it was when I was driving limos, and I was coming down this highway, and I saw this really rinky-dink zoo.

00:43:54.000 I think I was coming from New Hampshire. 0.99

00:43:55.000 I don't really remember, but I remember it was a long drive, and I had the rest of the day off, so I said, fuck it. 1.00

00:44:01.000 I'm going to go in this zoo and see what the fuck is going on in this zoo. 0.99

00:44:04.000 Just for funsies, because I was out there. 0.99

00:44:07.000 And I saw this polar bear.

00:44:09.000 I'll never forget this dude.

00:44:11.000 Just pacing.

00:44:12.000 Just pacing.

00:44:14.000 Just pacing.

00:44:15.000 And I was like, oh my god, he's in hell.

00:44:19.000 It's a horrible thing to watch, man.

00:44:22.000 It's a horrible thing to watch because, like, that's a sentient being that's experiencing a very bizarre and prolonged suffering and a disconnection from its kind.

00:44:34.000 There's no other bear with it.

00:44:35.000 It's just by itself.

00:44:36.000 By itself in this cement thing and while people stare at it.

00:44:40.000 Something that would never happen in the real world. 0.98

00:44:43.000 He doesn't know what the fuck is happening, because it's the wrong climate. 0.98

00:44:46.000 Everything's wrong. 1.00

00:44:46.000 And he's like, why is my shit all so shitty? 1.00

00:44:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:50.000 But he doesn't even know that he's in a totally wrong... 1.00

00:44:53.000 He probably is happy in Boston for like five months a year or four months a year, but even then it's probably not cold enough for him. 0.99

00:44:59.000 I mean, those fuckers, they're used to living in places where there's nothing but ice. 0.99

00:45:04.000 But it's also like that thing of like they say that, oh yeah, but if you let him go, he would die. 1.00

00:45:08.000 But that's also because you just...

00:45:10.000 Well, you shouldn't have him in the first place.

00:45:12.000 That's the matrix, the real world thing again, that animals also will have that thing where they're...

00:45:16.000 If they're in the wild, I'm sure it's exactly like being in that matrix where in the zoo, yeah, you have all your food, all the stimulus, you're alive.

00:45:25.000 Yeah.

00:45:25.000 But it's that you gotta get that stimulus.

00:45:28.000 You're created to struggle, to hunt, to fucking... 0.99

00:45:33.000 Right. 0.99

00:45:33.000 Which is, I mean, there's a lot of similarities in human beings. 0.99

00:45:37.000 Absolutely.

00:45:38.000 There's a lot of people that are zoo animals.

00:45:39.000 It's like when you go to nature.

00:45:41.000 Yeah.

00:45:41.000 Like in Austin, because I do so much comedy, I'm into cycling now, and sometimes I'll cycle out of the city, but every two weeks I have enough energy to do like a long cycle, and when I get to complete, that's why I love Estonia too, that it's silence in the woods that you have,

00:45:58.000 and you just feel...

00:46:00.000 Because that's where for thousands of years we've been there.

00:46:04.000 That's where we've been, in that silence.

00:46:07.000 And then you just feel rejuvenated immediately.

00:46:10.000 I love the sea.

00:46:12.000 I love the ocean.

00:46:12.000 I love woods.

00:46:13.000 I've always been a big...

00:46:14.000 And that's the same feeling you get.

00:46:18.000 It's just you feel it in your blood. 0.99

00:46:20.000 Something's fucking... 0.99

00:46:21.000 It's raw. 0.99

00:46:22.000 Yeah, you're alive.

00:46:23.000 It's uncomfortable, but it's raw.

00:46:25.000 Yeah.

00:46:26.000 Of course I want to be on Twitter in my farting and ordering Uber Eats.

00:46:29.000 Of course I want to do that.

00:46:30.000 That's the matrix.

00:46:32.000 That's the zoo.

00:46:32.000 That's the matrix.

00:46:33.000 It's the human zoo animal. 1.00

00:46:35.000 And of course outside is a fucking mosquito. 1.00

00:46:38.000 There's a guy. 0.99

00:46:39.000 Yeah.

00:46:39.000 There's whatever, you know.

00:46:41.000 You hear some fucking animal you don't know. 1.00

00:46:43.000 I'm scared of fucking spiders, everything. 1.00

00:46:45.000 The bomb goes off. 1.00

00:46:46.000 You hear the first recoil.

00:46:48.000 Yeah.

00:46:50.000 You're out there when you hear it.

00:46:51.000 Yeah.

00:46:55.000 And your feet start vibrating.

00:46:57.000 Boom! 0.99

00:46:59.000 They took Chicago.

00:47:01.000 Boom! 0.99

00:47:02.000 Jesus Christ.

00:47:03.000 Yeah.

00:47:05.000 That's what we have to look forward to. 1.00

00:47:07.000 The way this fucking goofy place is being run. 0.99

00:47:12.000 They're pushing us closer and closer to something real. 1.00

00:47:15.000 So my luck that as soon as I come to America, the fucking country collapses, huh? 0.99

00:47:20.000 It's not collapsing, but boy, it's in a weird state of this strange struggle where people kind of forgot we're all supposed to be united, and that's our strength, and being divided the way we're being divided, especially being divided by bullshit. 1.00

00:47:34.000 You know, like, you shouldn't be allowed to lie. 0.98

00:47:38.000 And you shouldn't be allowed to lie in a campaign ad.

00:47:41.000 You shouldn't be allowed to use CGI to make your crowds look bigger.

00:47:46.000 You shouldn't be allowed to do any of these things.

00:47:50.000 And we're allowing it.

00:47:52.000 And it's having this tremendous impact on the way people see the news.

00:47:57.000 The news is so filtered.

00:48:00.000 Everything in this country.

00:48:01.000 That's in mainstream news.

00:48:03.000 You have to follow a certain set of rules in order to be able to get information out.

00:48:09.000 And if you want to talk about the campaigns, and if you want to talk about the war, and if you want to talk about what's going on in Ukraine, what's going on in Gaza, you have to have very specific narratives.

00:48:20.000 And you're not allowed to deviate from that at all.

00:48:22.000 And then that's what's giving you the news. 0.99

00:48:24.000 And so we're all like, what the fuck is real? 0.99

00:48:26.000 And so anytime anything happens, even when the president gets shot, we're like, was that even real? 0.99

00:48:31.000 Like, we don't think anything's real anymore.

00:48:33.000 And that's what primes us for the Matrix.

00:48:37.000 When no one knows what anything's real anymore, it's so much easier to just slide right in, Ari.

00:48:43.000 Slide right in, Ari! 1.00

00:48:48.000 Fuck the world, dude. 1.00

00:48:49.000 I'm in a secure apartment complex. 1.00

00:48:51.000 It's level five security.

00:48:53.000 There's bank vault doors that lock to make sure the marauders don't get in while you're connected.

00:48:58.000 And you can just be free in this other world and ride around your dragon on Pandora. 1.00

00:49:05.000 You know, you're fucking that blue lady with the hair. 1.00

00:49:10.000 Remember they connected hairs with the dragon? 1.00

00:49:12.000 Yeah.

00:49:14.000 That's what's gonna happen. 0.94

00:49:15.000 And we're gonna give in to it because we're making this world such a goddamn mess by not paying attention to what we're doing. 0.95

00:49:22.000 Not paying attention to the really important things. 0.86

00:49:25.000 Like, don't let corporations tell you what's true.

00:49:28.000 They're not going to tell you what's true if they don't have to.

00:49:31.000 If they can get away with not telling you, if they make more money, if they don't tell you, you can't have that.

00:49:36.000 That's not how you get your news.

00:49:37.000 You can't have that.

00:49:38.000 Because it's just too easy to manipulate.

00:49:41.000 So easy to manipulate.

00:49:42.000 You know, insiders trading is illegal, but that's legal?

00:49:46.000 That's legal?

00:49:46.000 You can manipulate the news?

00:49:48.000 Like, what?

00:49:49.000 You can have...

00:49:51.000 Certain companies can advertise on the news and then you'll never criticize those companies?

00:49:55.000 That seems weird.

00:49:56.000 That seems weird.

00:49:58.000 Yeah, somebody was explaining how, isn't it crazy that how any politician that wants to get elected never mentions tobacco, alcohol, like never the because of the back.

00:50:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:14.000 You can't mention that shit. 1.00

00:50:15.000 Which is crazy. 1.00

00:50:16.000 You can kind of mention cigarettes because people are so stupid they're going to smoke them anyway. 1.00

00:50:20.000 It's just like you can kind of get away with it. 1.00

00:50:23.000 Cigarettes are terrible.

00:50:25.000 No one should smoke.

00:50:27.000 Yeah.

00:50:29.000 Yeah.

00:50:30.000 As soon as they can figure out like a spray, like an inhaler.

00:50:32.000 They did outlaw those though.

00:50:34.000 Excuse me?

00:50:34.000 They outlawed those a long time ago, which is weird.

00:50:36.000 Outlawed what?

00:50:37.000 Cigarette ads.

00:50:38.000 Or like, sorry, commercials.

00:50:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:50:40.000 On TV and radio.

00:50:41.000 Do they still have them on the internet?

00:50:43.000 We haven't had tobacco or alcohol commercials for like 10 years now.

00:50:47.000 They used to only be in magazines.

00:50:48.000 And then your cigarette packs are so cool.

00:50:50.000 It's like a throwback to my childhood because it's like the red, beautiful marble design.

00:50:57.000 In Europe and Australia and everywhere, you know, they have like a cancer on it. 0.99

00:51:01.000 And you have photos of like tumors and shit. 1.00

00:51:03.000 Dead baby. 1.00

00:51:04.000 Premature babies. 0.58

00:51:06.000 Lung, black lung.

00:51:07.000 I'd like to see what else those people are doing.

00:51:10.000 100%.

00:51:13.000 100%.

00:51:13.000 They're blaming it on cigarettes.

00:51:15.000 That guy is probably all fucked up in a lot of different ways. 1.00

00:51:17.000 Yeah, 100%. 1.00

00:51:18.000 But, I mean, you can criticize tobacco and no one really cares because people are going to keep smoking.

00:51:24.000 As long as it's legal.

00:51:25.000 It's like alcohol.

00:51:26.000 People are not going to stop drinking. 1.00

00:51:28.000 Shut up. 1.00

00:51:28.000 They're not going to. 1.00

00:51:29.000 They want a drink.

00:51:30.000 They're hanging out with friends, have a cocktail, clink, salute.

00:51:34.000 Congratulations, yay, clink glasses.

00:51:37.000 People like doing that.

00:51:38.000 They're not going to stop. 1.00

00:51:39.000 Talk all the shit you want. 1.00

00:51:40.000 Part of the excitement of the clink is the fact that it's packed. 1.00

00:51:42.000 A little bit.

00:51:43.000 Come on.

00:51:44.000 A little bit.

00:51:44.000 It's part of the fun.

00:51:46.000 Yeah, it's part of the fun.

00:51:47.000 A little bit.

00:51:47.000 Absolutely.

00:51:48.000 It's a little bit of let's have fun.

00:51:50.000 Yeah.

00:51:51.000 And, you know, it's a good feeling when you're with friends and you have a couple of cocktails and you're laughing your ass off like...

00:51:58.000 Dude, it's a good feeling. 0.99

00:51:59.000 But you shouldn't do it every goddamn day. 0.99

00:52:01.000 It shouldn't be your whole life. 0.99

00:52:03.000 You shouldn't be drinking 12 hours a day every day.

00:52:06.000 But that's why it's so exciting is that life is not infinite and you do take those small risks and that's what's so exciting.

00:52:16.000 Also, people that do drink 20 hours a day.

00:52:19.000 Those people in your life, in your journey, those people are examples where you can learn something without having to actually do it yourself.

00:52:29.000 Like, you don't have to become an alcoholic and ruin your life, but you can see someone do it and say, Okay.

00:52:36.000 My stepdad was a bad one.

00:52:38.000 Bad.

00:52:39.000 One of those were in the mornings.

00:52:41.000 Because your system is, you know, your system is done. 0.63

00:52:45.000 In the mornings in the bathroom, he would take two to three hours of like shitting and then just heaving, you know, because your body is just rejecting all this poison. 0.91

00:52:56.000 Oh, God. 0.97

00:52:57.000 So you hear him throw up every day?

00:52:59.000 Every day.

00:52:59.000 Oh, my God.

00:53:00.000 And the violent.

00:53:00.000 You know, there's no throw up left, but it's just the heaving.

00:53:03.000 It's... 0.99

00:53:04.000 And then put on a suit, put on a suit, bloated as fuck, put on a suit, all happy puppy, survive for eight hours. 0.99

00:53:11.000 And then he would, I remember he would come home and as a child, he would come home and he would be in the car and just sit there in his car. 0.99

00:53:20.000 And I would see him sit there.

00:53:22.000 And as a child, you're like, oh, he's just taking a moment maybe.

00:53:26.000 You don't understand that this guy is barely keeping it together.

00:53:30.000 Because he's about to go down a rabbit hole.

00:53:32.000 And he's fighting the rabbit hole.

00:53:33.000 Every day, he's just like, I don't want to.

00:53:37.000 And then if you're drinking all the time, you're always tired.

00:53:40.000 Small vodka bottles.

00:53:42.000 All the time.

00:53:43.000 Get them quick.

00:53:44.000 Like little airline ones?

00:53:44.000 Yeah.

00:53:45.000 And his hands, you know, when the sobriety starts coming.

00:53:51.000 Ooh, it's a sketchy disease.

00:53:53.000 It was bad.

00:53:54.000 It was bad, yeah.

00:53:55.000 But as a child, you're like, oh my god, I never want to do that.

00:54:00.000 But when you start getting old...

00:54:02.000 Was he ever happy when he was drunk?

00:54:05.000 There was a tipping point.

00:54:07.000 When he became happy?

00:54:08.000 No, it was like the first drink is always happy because your addiction is giving you all green lights.

00:54:15.000 Right. 0.99

00:54:15.000 When you have an addiction, the first hit of that substance, all your body is saying is, let's fucking go. 0.99

00:54:23.000 It's all green lights, baby. 0.98

00:54:24.000 This is the night.

00:54:25.000 This is the night!

00:54:27.000 Yes! 1.00

00:54:28.000 Let's fucking go! 1.00

00:54:29.000 Straight whiskey. 1.00

00:54:30.000 It's your addiction. 1.00

00:54:31.000 Yeah, let's fucking rock and roll. 1.00

00:54:33.000 Big glass of whiskey. 0.98

00:54:34.000 But then, you know, as a child growing up in that environment, there would always be that point where you see him on the couch and that look, you know.

00:54:41.000 An alcoholic's look is, you know, the detachment of the soul.

00:54:46.000 Yeah.

00:54:46.000 It's a dangerous look.

00:54:48.000 Then it's time for you to go to your room, you know, and just fucking hang out there and wait for the storm to pass, you know. 0.96

00:54:54.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:54:55.000 And it's like...

00:54:56.000 And it was like, yeah, there was always that point. 1.00

00:55:00.000 It's such a creepy fucking... 0.99

00:55:02.000 And when you're a child, you're like, oh, don't do that. 0.99

00:55:04.000 But when you start getting older, you also feel like, start feeling empathetic of like, you know, I don't know the life he lived as well.

00:55:10.000 You know, substance abuse always works with trauma really well.

00:55:13.000 They go hand to hand.

00:55:14.000 So this guy's childhood, you know, the more I found out.

00:55:17.000 Which is true.

00:55:18.000 Which is true.

00:55:18.000 Because I hated him.

00:55:19.000 I fucking hated him. 1.00

00:55:20.000 He was, you know... 1.00

00:55:22.000 If he's drinking heavily, it also could be like family influenced.

00:55:26.000 See, that's what I found out later.

00:55:29.000 You learn behavior when you're young.

00:55:30.000 Absolutely.

00:55:30.000 That's what I found out later.

00:55:32.000 I thought I'm in a dark spot when he's home, you know.

00:55:35.000 I had some friends that became alcoholics that didn't necessarily have childhood trauma as much as they had childhood influence.

00:55:43.000 And then friends that kind of all went down a bad road.

00:55:48.000 And they were all like doing hard drugs and drinking a lot. 0.90

00:55:52.000 It just becomes a part of the culture of your little community if you're hanging with a group of people that just likes to get fucked up all the time. 0.98

00:56:00.000 I've seen it suck good people in. 0.99

00:56:02.000 Everybody wants to say that there's some sort of a reason why you get sucked into it.

00:56:06.000 I have had friends that have nothing wrong in their life.

00:56:10.000 They're happy people, and they take oxys, and they don't want to stop taking them.

00:56:15.000 They get injured, something happens, they take them, they don't want to stop.

00:56:19.000 They feel good.

00:56:21.000 They don't want to stop.

00:56:22.000 And essentially, oxycodone, we learned this recently, is what Hitler was taking during the war.

00:56:30.000 They were giving him a form of oxycodone.

00:56:32.000 That's these videos.

00:56:33.000 We had this gentleman on the podcast the other day that...

00:56:37.000 What was his name again?

00:56:39.000 This book's right in front of you.

00:56:42.000 Oh, here it is.

00:56:43.000 Norman Oler.

00:56:44.000 Sorry, Norman.

00:56:45.000 Norman Oler.

00:56:46.000 This is all about Hitler's drug use during World War II. But he was talking about that video, and he didn't think that video was real.

00:56:56.000 I was like, why do you think that?

00:56:58.000 Because he had a direct...

00:57:01.000 Like a line of history between when Hitler gets introduced to this one doctor and the drugs this doctor's giving him. 0.58

00:57:08.000 And that's the Olympic Games one.

00:57:09.000 Yeah, so that's 36. That should be before all that stuff happened in his mind.

00:57:14.000 But I'm of the opinion that Hitler, if you can get him to go on oxycodone a year from now, He's probably trying some shit that he didn't tell you about. 0.98

00:57:23.000 That's what I would imagine. 0.98

00:57:24.000 So the doctor, he's getting notes from the doctor who treated Hitler. 0.97

00:57:27.000 How the fuck do we know how honest Hitler was with that doctor? 1.00

00:57:31.000 He was probably already taking a bunch of shit. 1.00

00:57:32.000 They already knew that stuff was real. 1.00

00:57:34.000 And when you're a leader, you don't want any of that information out there, you know, that you're a fucking... 0.98

00:57:38.000 Also, there was zero stigma when they first created meth. 0.98

00:57:42.000 Oh, I'm afraid that means.

00:57:43.000 Yeah, and Norman was showing us this, what was it called, Pervidin?

00:57:48.000 Is that the right name?

00:57:50.000 So they had a literal brand.

00:57:52.000 Mm-hmm.

00:57:53.000 Of methamphetamine that they would sell in Germany.

00:57:56.000 There's those commercials, you know, those German commercials.

00:57:58.000 I've seen those. 1.00

00:57:58.000 It's fucking crazy. 1.00

00:57:59.000 They were all taking meth for productivity. 1.00

00:58:01.000 They were taking a low dose of meth and they were giving it to the soldiers.

00:58:05.000 This blitz book is insane because it's a story about how the Nazis were jacked up on meth and they just went all the way through Poland in three days and that they just never slept. 0.72

00:58:16.000 They just kept marching.

00:58:17.000 I used to have a bit that, you know, while Germany's were testing with meth, you guys in America were testing with LSD, and I would have loved to see those two armies meet. 0.78

00:58:25.000 By the way, no, that's another part of his thing.

00:58:28.000 The Nazis were testing with LSD as well.

00:58:30.000 They were running tests on the prisoners.

00:58:33.000 They were running tests on concentration camp prisoners.

00:58:36.000 Yeah.

00:58:38.000 The tests never came to fulfillment because the prison camps got liberated, but they were doing it. 0.89

00:58:43.000 They had record of them doing that with LSD. But meth is the perfect war drug if you think of it.

00:58:48.000 You just fucking get amped up and jump into a ditch with a bayonet. 0.99

00:58:52.000 Right. 1.00

00:58:52.000 You're going to go, you need some meth to have a bayonet. 1.00

00:58:56.000 100%.

00:58:57.000 100%.

00:58:57.000 That's the right drug for a good soldier.

00:59:00.000 Yeah.

00:59:01.000 At the front of the line.

00:59:02.000 And they had different dosages for different people.

00:59:04.000 So if someone was in a tank, they get the most.

00:59:07.000 They get the most meth. 1.00

00:59:08.000 Because they're fucking, let's fucking go! 1.00

00:59:10.000 That's the front of the line, you know? 1.00

00:59:12.000 They're the ones that are going to get attacked first.

00:59:13.000 So they have to be the most methed up.

00:59:15.000 And who you put on LSD, the guy who plans the attack or something?

00:59:20.000 Um, do you know that in, um, was it Iraq or Afghanistan where soldiers were listening to like death metal while they were operating tanks?

00:59:28.000 Have you ever seen videos of dudes operating from inside of tanks?

00:59:33.000 It's death metal.

00:59:34.000 That's going to be the craziest job the world has ever known.

00:59:38.000 You're in a giant metal box, and you're moving it towards war, and you're hoping that thing doesn't break.

00:59:45.000 You're hoping it doesn't break and leave you out there.

00:59:48.000 You're hoping that when it gets shot at, or who knows, the transmission fails, and then you're out there in enemy territory while they're shooting missiles at you.

00:59:58.000 Thank you.

00:59:58.000 I've always thought, because the Germans were the first ones with the tank, the Panzer, right?

01:00:03.000 That was correct, right?

01:00:04.000 I don't know.

01:00:05.000 I think so.

01:00:06.000 I think the Panzer was the first. 0.56

01:00:07.000 And I remember always thinking, like, imagine being a Russian soldier or something, and you're with a bolt-action rifle. 0.99

01:00:14.000 And you see that fucking tank. 0.99

01:00:15.000 But you hear a crack, crack, crack. 1.00

01:00:17.000 You don't even know what the fuck that is. 0.99

01:00:19.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:00:19.000 And you're like, a car? 0.99

01:00:22.000 But then you see, and dude, that feel, clunk!

01:00:26.000 Nothing.

01:00:26.000 Cluck, cluck.

01:00:27.000 Clunk! 0.79

01:00:29.000 Oh my god.

01:00:30.000 Oh my god.

01:00:31.000 Oh my god.

01:00:33.000 A tank.

01:00:34.000 A tank.

01:00:34.000 What an insane idea.

01:00:36.000 It's basically what the scene is from All Quiet on the Western Front. 0.97

01:00:38.000 It's pretty fucking badass. 0.75

01:00:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.56

01:00:40.000 It's not a great time to watch it because we're doing a podcast, but... 0.56

01:00:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:43.000 Oh, exactly.

01:00:44.000 This is the first time they see the tanks.

01:00:45.000 Look at this. 1.00

01:00:46.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:00:47.000 Look at this. 1.00

01:00:49.000 Imagine.

01:00:49.000 You can't stop them.

01:00:51.000 It's literally like seeing a Transformer right now.

01:00:53.000 Like if you would see...

01:00:56.000 This is nuts.

01:00:57.000 And nobody told you!

01:00:59.000 It's a good movie to watch.

01:01:00.000 I'll watch it.

01:01:02.000 It's an amazing movie.

01:01:03.000 I heard it's awesome.

01:01:04.000 That's the new one, right?

01:01:05.000 Sad.

01:01:05.000 Yeah, it's different from the book slightly, but it's still a good story.

01:01:09.000 Sad.

01:01:09.000 Yeah, well, I'm sure.

01:01:10.000 There's no happy war movies. 1.00

01:01:12.000 That's how you know my movies bullshit. 1.00

01:01:13.000 Some American ones are fucking awesome. 1.00

01:01:15.000 Chuck Norris. 0.99

01:01:16.000 Those are all fucking amazing, dude. 0.98

01:01:19.000 The Pink Mist. 0.99

01:01:20.000 Missing in Action.

01:01:22.000 Chuck Norris.

01:01:23.000 Really?

01:01:24.000 Yeah.

01:01:24.000 It goes back to Vietnam to bring people back.

01:01:29.000 I'm throwing some karate kicks in the jungle with cowboy boots on. 0.99

01:01:32.000 American movies made worse than the coolest shit ever, you know? 0.99

01:01:35.000 Not always. 0.99

01:01:37.000 Saving Private Ryan certainly didn't.

01:01:39.000 Yeah, fair.

01:01:40.000 Full Metal Jacket certainly didn't.

01:01:43.000 Yeah.

01:01:44.000 That's my favorite.

01:01:45.000 That is a good one.

01:01:46.000 That's my favorite out of all the war movies.

01:01:47.000 I was too young when I saw it.

01:01:49.000 The Apocalypse Now.

01:01:49.000 Here it is.

01:01:50.000 This is Missing In Action.

01:01:50.000 Chuck Norris just plugs everybody up.

01:01:52.000 What is he? 0.99

01:01:53.000 He's driving around on an inflatable fucking thing. 1.00

01:01:56.000 See, this is the America I grew up in. 1.00

01:01:58.000 Cool, dude.

01:01:58.000 Look, they're all shooting at him.

01:01:59.000 Bitch, you can't hit him. 1.00

01:02:00.000 He's Chuck Norris. 1.00

01:02:01.000 And so he just spit around.

01:02:02.000 I love that it's a boat and they're shooting at a boat and nothing happens.

01:02:05.000 It's a rubber boat.

01:02:06.000 They can't even come close to hitting him.

01:02:09.000 And then they go chase after him.

01:02:10.000 Guess what's going to happen?

01:02:11.000 Well, I'll tell you right now. 0.99

01:02:12.000 Chuck Norris is going to fuck them up because he's Chuck Norris. 1.00

01:02:16.000 So funny. 0.99

01:02:17.000 Oh, my God.

01:02:18.000 He jumps in like Aquaman. 1.00

01:02:19.000 What the fucking machine? 1.00

01:02:20.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:02:21.000 Look at him.

01:02:21.000 Bitch, he didn't get Chuck Norris.

01:02:23.000 God, God, God. 1.00

01:02:26.000 I mean, these movies are amazing.

01:02:28.000 Amazing.

01:02:29.000 They're amazing, because they're like, almost like you're watching a cartoon, you know?

01:02:33.000 But then you can get, like, Full Metal Jacket, which is, that's an intense, that's a totally different experience.

01:02:39.000 Like, that's war, I think, in a much more realistic light.

01:02:43.000 For sure.

01:02:44.000 What those people experienced.

01:02:45.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.99

01:02:46.000 Can you imagine being a fucking kid back in the 60s when you didn't really have any way of knowing what the fuck was actually going on in Vietnam? 0.99

01:02:55.000 And also, yeah, they're saying that the fucking end of the world's coming and you're the last frontier. 0.99

01:03:00.000 You know, you have no way to check it. 0.97

01:03:02.000 And even questioning it would be in bad taste, you know?

01:03:05.000 Yeah, you're not supposed to.

01:03:06.000 And the people are labeled traitors like Muhammad Ali.

01:03:09.000 That is true.

01:03:10.000 They send you over there.

01:03:11.000 That the American troop...

01:03:12.000 Oh yeah, that's crazy.

01:03:13.000 Bro, D'Onofo killed this.

01:03:15.000 I saw this too young because I didn't quite get it, you know?

01:03:18.000 You should watch it again.

01:03:19.000 Yeah, I have to. 0.99

01:03:20.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

01:03:20.000 It's fucking dark. 0.99

01:03:21.000 I remember that scene when he was in the bathroom before he shot himself in the face and he put his toe through the fucking rifle. 1.00

01:03:27.000 Oh my God. 1.00

01:03:28.000 Yeah.

01:03:30.000 That is true that the American troops were much more...

01:03:34.000 Because you've never been invaded. 0.94

01:03:38.000 So at least our trauma that we heard from grandfathers and shit, which was about, like, it was almost a heroic thing of standing up for your country. 0.91

01:03:47.000 Whereas American maybe, it's kind of like, why are you going there, you know? 0.99

01:03:51.000 And that trauma must be bad when you're coming back.

01:03:53.000 Because they told you that it's... 1.00

01:03:55.000 You're the fucking... 1.00

01:03:58.000 You have to save the world, basically. 1.00

01:04:00.000 Well, they were telling them that they had to fight the Communists, right?

01:04:05.000 And they told them that the Communist North Korea had attacked A boat.

01:04:11.000 An American boat.

01:04:12.000 That never happened.

01:04:13.000 The Gulf of Tonkin incident.

01:04:15.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:04:15.000 They just made up this story.

01:04:17.000 So they made up this propaganda bullshit, and they created a false flag. 0.99

01:04:21.000 And through that, they justified us going into war. 1.00

01:04:24.000 And it went on for a long fucking time. 0.99

01:04:26.000 And it didn't make any sense. 0.98

01:04:27.000 And no one today thinks it made any sense.

01:04:29.000 No one today thinks it makes a good idea.

01:04:31.000 Or it was a good idea, rather. 0.96

01:04:33.000 Unless you're some insane war lover.

01:04:36.000 Anybody look at Vietnam, well, Vietnam overall is a net positive because here's what we got out of Vietnam. 1.00

01:04:42.000 This is what came out of that war, okay?

01:04:45.000 First of all, the culture shifted.

01:04:46.000 That's how it needed to happen.

01:04:48.000 You couldn't even come up with justifications. 0.99

01:04:50.000 Why would we go into this country and firebomb them and spray Agent Orange and who knows how many people come home with fucking cancer because you used a deforestation technique that's like this horrific chemical that kills people. 1.00

01:05:07.000 Crazy. 1.00

01:05:07.000 It's nuts. 1.00

01:05:08.000 It's nuts.

01:05:09.000 And they did it because people back then didn't have any access to information.

01:05:12.000 There was no way to know.

01:05:14.000 There was no expose showing that this is not a real attack.

01:05:19.000 There's no reason for us to be over there.

01:05:21.000 There's other things involved here that's causing people to want To send U.S. troops to Vietnam and probably none of them good for you.

01:05:30.000 Like you really, as a United States citizen, you'd be best served, the world would be best served with you right here.

01:05:37.000 Well, 100%.

01:05:38.000 100%.

01:05:39.000 You'd need to go over there and firebomb a village because someone told you to. 0.99

01:05:43.000 You don't need to go over there and fucking climb into a tunnel and go and try to fight some Viet Cong guy in there. 1.00

01:05:48.000 This is insane. 1.00

01:05:49.000 Why are you there?

01:05:50.000 Makes no sense.

01:05:51.000 But they trick people.

01:05:53.000 And they did it for a long-ass time.

01:05:54.000 It went on for years.

01:05:55.000 And so the fact that they can still pull it off today, that they can still...

01:06:02.000 I mean, who knows today what we're going to look back on like we look at the Gulf of Tonkin incident, or what we're going to look back on and realize that it had been manipulated, so the event was real, but the event was caused by a series of moves behind the scenes to ensure that war takes place. 0.58

01:06:19.000 There's so much complication when it comes to these things because there's so much money being thrown around yeah, and then At least today We have other outlets for information.

01:06:32.000 At least today, you can kind of get a sense of how things are true or not true based on really intelligent people that you know that are online that are talking about them.

01:06:40.000 And you go, no, it's actually this.

01:06:42.000 Like with that female boxer, like that was a big one, right? 1.00

01:06:47.000 Where everybody's like, okay, what is going on?

01:06:49.000 Is that a female? 1.00

01:06:50.000 Is that a male?

01:06:51.000 Is that someone has XY chromosomes? 0.88

01:06:54.000 I saw that information that it was the XY thing early, but it was just a levine of that, that it's a man, just came a bit too strong.

01:07:03.000 Because both information came out pretty much, I would, in my sources, I would say I saw a similar time, where it was like, oh, it's a man, but then you just open another, scroll a bit more, and then you see the XY chromosome thingy, and then you're like, okay, but just a levine of that it's a dude came on a bit strong.

01:07:21.000 Well, XY chromosome is male.

01:07:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:23.000 It's that male.

01:07:23.000 Yeah.

01:07:24.000 But the definition of like was because I think the first reaction was that it's a man transitioning to a woman.

01:07:33.000 Right.

01:07:33.000 That's what people thought initially.

01:07:34.000 And then they realized, no, this is someone who has a genetic issue.

01:07:40.000 But there was another – there's a boxing committee – I'm going to send you this, Jamie, because this kind of makes it all make a little bit more sense.

01:07:51.000 But it was essentially that there's different versions of these kinds of diseases that people have, and depending on those versions, some of them, they go through male puberty,

01:08:07.000 and they have male frames, and they're male.

01:08:10.000 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

01:08:11.000 But when they're born, they have some significant issues.

01:08:16.000 Okay, so here it is.

01:08:16.000 I found it, and I'll send it to you, Jamie.

01:08:18.000 But it's European vice president of the World Boxing Organization has come forward to confirm that Algerian boxer Amin Khalif is male.

01:08:27.000 This person said he warned the Olympic Committee about several male boxers in the women's category, but nothing was done.

01:08:37.000 Who knows?

01:08:39.000 I don't have any direct information about whether that is a male or female.

01:08:45.000 Let's just say that one-two slaps. 0.99

01:08:48.000 One-two's not bad.

01:08:49.000 But also, that person's lost before.

01:08:51.000 Yeah.

01:08:52.000 To female boxers. 1.00

01:08:54.000 But here's the thing.

01:08:54.000 But that doesn't...

01:08:55.000 That doesn't mean that... 1.00

01:08:56.000 There's a lot of girls out there, boys, that can kick your ass. 1.00

01:08:59.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:08:59.000 There are. 1.00

01:09:00.000 Get in the ring with Amanda Nunes. 1.00

01:09:02.000 Good luck, bitch. 1.00

01:09:03.000 She'll fuck you up. 1.00

01:09:04.000 And she's a woman. 1.00

01:09:05.000 There's women that are really, really good. 1.00

01:09:07.000 And this person might not be that good.

01:09:09.000 But it seems like they went through male puberty.

01:09:11.000 Which should exclude you from competing as a woman. 0.79

01:09:15.000 They look male.

01:09:16.000 They have male frame.

01:09:17.000 They have XY chromosome.

01:09:18.000 You're being told that you're a bigot for looking at very obvious what we have always considered biological representations, right?

01:09:29.000 Like, what is it in biology when something is a male human being? 0.56

01:09:35.000 Do they have an XX chromosome or do they have an XY? They say, well, they have an XY. Well, we know that. 0.98

01:09:40.000 But saying that makes you a bigot.

01:09:42.000 Which is insanity.

01:09:44.000 As a sports commissioner, that's very black and white for me, at least, a chromosomal issue.

01:09:50.000 Well, that's what the Enhanced Games is thinking about doing.

01:09:52.000 As a human, I do feel empathetic towards her.

01:09:55.000 It's a bit of a pickle.

01:09:57.000 Yeah, but I don't necessarily know if that's a her.

01:10:00.000 This is the problem.

01:10:02.000 What they're saying, it's a male with a sexually, some developmental disease that they, or developmental issue, some genetic anomaly, something that happens to them.

01:10:14.000 But they're going, they have testes, and they go through male puberty, and they don't have the ability to get pregnant. 0.97

01:10:20.000 I don't even know if they have ovaries.

01:10:23.000 Do they have ovaries? 1.00

01:10:26.000 In this situation, I don't think they have eggs.

01:10:28.000 I'm reading a version that CBS Sports put out where they talked to the International Olympics Committee and the IBA. They're saying these tests are not legitimate tests.

01:10:39.000 Yeah, I was going to bring this up too.

01:10:41.000 They were saying that some people think that it's because the Soviets did them, they don't trust them.

01:10:45.000 So the International Olympic Committee spokesperson Mark Adams said in a press conference on Sunday, the tests themselves, The process of the test and the ad hoc nature of the test are not legitimate.

01:10:55.000 The testing, the method of the testing, the idea of the testing, which happened kind of overnight, none of it is legitimate, and this does not deserve any response.

01:11:04.000 Okay.

01:11:05.000 That's, by saying it's not legitimate is a very weird thing.

01:11:09.000 I had read it came up after this event where she beat an undefeated boxer and then people got mad.

01:11:16.000 Right.

01:11:17.000 Right.

01:11:17.000 But did this person, let's Google this then.

01:11:21.000 Did this person, this boxer, did they take a chromosome test?

01:11:27.000 Did you see that article?

01:11:29.000 This article says that originally the test was kept confidential, did not undergo a testosterone examination, but were subject to a separate and recognized test whereby the specifics remained confidential.

01:11:44.000 Then the next day, or like Monday, I don't know how many days later that was, then they came out and said something different.

01:11:51.000 These testings show they have a high level of testosterone, Kremlev said, like men.

01:11:55.000 They have men's level of testosterone.

01:11:57.000 We cannot go further in our investigation.

01:11:59.000 Whether they were born like men or some changers intervened at the later stages. 0.98

01:12:05.000 And then that's where the IOC said what you read earlier, where these tests are not legitimate.

01:12:09.000 Right, but they're not saying why they're not legitimate.

01:12:12.000 This is what gives me pause.

01:12:13.000 When they just keep saying it's not legitimate, the ad hoc nature of the tests are not legitimate, you have to say, when you're talking about a scientific...

01:12:21.000 Test.

01:12:22.000 There's some tests that's repeatable, right?

01:12:24.000 So if you can test for XY chromosome versus XX chromosome, do it.

01:12:31.000 Tell me what the results are.

01:12:32.000 If you can test for testosterone, do it.

01:12:34.000 Tell me what the results are.

01:12:36.000 And if one says male, says XY, and the other one says high levels of testosterone, that's not a woman.

01:12:44.000 Sports-wise, yeah, absolutely.

01:12:46.000 Sports-wise, yeah.

01:12:48.000 The one-two slaps with those shoulders.

01:12:50.000 But it's also, it's like, what are we doing?

01:12:52.000 Like, why do we have women's sports in the first place if you let... 1.00

01:12:54.000 I mean, you could say that some people have a genetic anomaly, like that woman, she had XXY, right?

01:13:02.000 She was like a legitimate hermaphrodite, I believe. 0.97

01:13:06.000 Testosterone levels, not XY chromosome, which is the pattern typically seen in men, are the key criteria of eligibility in Olympic events where the sports governing body has framed and approved rules.

01:13:16.000 That's interesting.

01:13:17.000 But it's the same thing when genetically women start doing steroids. 1.00

01:13:24.000 That's the whole thing about women's sports is the big problem. 1.00

01:13:27.000 Once they do it, they change their frame.

01:13:29.000 I'm not making accusations, but Chris Cyborg, I remember, was a...

01:13:32.000 Wait, what are you saying?

01:13:33.000 It was a big thing in Strikeforce where it was the first time I saw where I was like, this is a big loophole in women's sports right now. 1.00

01:13:40.000 Especially combat sports because it's about doing actually physical damage.

01:13:45.000 100%.

01:13:45.000 It's very visibly seeing the difference.

01:13:50.000 In other sports where it's reaction time and whatever, tennis or whatever, you might make the argument of like, just get better at the technique, you know?

01:13:59.000 But in combat, it's very visible because it's not only about the body and whatever.

01:14:05.000 It's literally people who are on testosterone has been proven harder to KO because you just ramped up.

01:14:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:14:13.000 Testosterone, it's literally like the gold particle in the sense of fucking sports. 0.99

01:14:19.000 They've stopped some fighters from fighting because they tested so high. 0.99

01:14:22.000 Absolutely.

01:14:22.000 They're like, get out of here.

01:14:24.000 These fucking guys. 1.00

01:14:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:26.000 I remember it was...

01:14:27.000 Who failed?

01:14:28.000 I remember it was Jailson and Alistair Overham.

01:14:30.000 They used to fail tests where it was like...

01:14:32.000 Like the number.

01:14:34.000 It's like...

01:14:34.000 There's the rage of 18 men coming at you right now.

01:14:39.000 Well, that's Vitor Belfort in his prime, right?

01:14:41.000 Oh.

01:14:42.000 The TRT Vitor days.

01:14:44.000 I only compete in Brazil.

01:14:45.000 I want to be home.

01:14:46.000 Oh, sure.

01:14:46.000 Like a demon, he would come at you.

01:14:48.000 Like a demon.

01:14:50.000 Yeah.

01:14:51.000 Yeah.

01:14:51.000 He would have those videos where he was like on an elliptical machine and he was...

01:14:55.000 The thing about this, too, it's like if they're saying they're testing for testosterone levels, how often are you doing that?

01:15:00.000 Because guess what?

01:15:01.000 It's easy to make your testosterone levels crash.

01:15:04.000 Real easy.

01:15:05.000 Well, the whole thing is always that it's that testings.

01:15:09.000 Yeah.

01:15:10.000 It's like pirating.

01:15:12.000 They're always a step ahead.

01:15:15.000 They're always. 0.98

01:15:15.000 But all you have to do to kill your testosterone levels are drink alcohol Eat shitty food and don't get any sleep. 0.98

01:15:23.000 Or just fucking live in the mountains of Dagestan and hope the connection flight is a bit late. 1.00

01:15:29.000 That's... 0.99

01:15:29.000 Dude. 0.99

01:15:31.000 That's the ultimate conspiracy theory.

01:15:32.000 Oh, very interesting that you went to a training camp.

01:15:34.000 Yeah, they're the best wrestlers. 0.57

01:15:36.000 Very interesting.

01:15:37.000 Well, they are the best wrestlers.

01:15:38.000 True, but...

01:15:39.000 Jacked.

01:15:41.000 Yeah.

01:15:42.000 So, is that what you're saying?

01:15:44.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:15:45.000 Well, I would imagine that if they knew for a fact that you couldn't get to the North Pole to do a drug test, there'd be a fucking MMA camp on the North Pole. 0.98

01:15:58.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:16:00.000 Also, I went to a camp in Thailand back in the day, and I remember over there, it was like not even a secret.

01:16:07.000 Really?

01:16:08.000 I go to that camp, and it's like American fighters would be there.

01:16:11.000 And everybody would know that that's why they're doing it?

01:16:13.000 No, no, no.

01:16:13.000 Not everybody would know.

01:16:14.000 They would be like, fucking who? 0.99

01:16:15.000 It would be like handing out shots at a bar. 1.00

01:16:17.000 Who wants the syringe?

01:16:19.000 You know?

01:16:19.000 Wow.

01:16:19.000 What are we doing?

01:16:20.000 And there's not, dude, these are all retards that are just smoking joints and sparring. 1.00

01:16:25.000 There's nobody doing like, we need to do... 1.00

01:16:27.000 It's like, nah, fucking give me what you got. 0.92

01:16:29.000 And are these people, like, pros? 0.99

01:16:32.000 Semi-pro.

01:16:33.000 You know, you live in a Honda Civic and every once in a while you move back to your parents' place because it's the struggle.

01:16:39.000 Fighting's hard.

01:16:39.000 Fighting's really hard, bro.

01:16:43.000 It's hard, dude.

01:16:45.000 So you, so people don't know you, you...

01:16:49.000 When did you start doing stand-up comedy?

01:16:51.000 Were you fighting at the same time you were doing stand-up comedy?

01:16:54.000 Did they overlap?

01:16:55.000 There was a transitionary period.

01:16:56.000 And I started...

01:16:58.000 Okay, so this is my martial arts history. 0.99

01:17:01.000 Of course, as I mentioned, I had a stepdad who was fucking crazy. 0.99

01:17:07.000 So there was that insecurity. 0.99

01:17:09.000 You know, there's that thing of like, I'm not saying that having a father who's maybe violent towards your mother is a bit better, but I think there's a bit of a more evolutionary connection that a family dynamic can have.

01:17:21.000 Whereas if you're like a 12 to 13, 14 year old boy and a new guy, you're supposed to be the man of the house, even though you're a child.

01:17:29.000 Right. 0.96

01:17:30.000 It's my sister and my mother and it's our dynamic and a new guy moves in and this retard is now... 0.99

01:17:37.000 And he's an alcoholic. 0.99

01:17:38.000 Yeah.

01:17:39.000 So that creates obviously an insecurity.

01:17:41.000 So you have a deep sadness in the house.

01:17:43.000 Tension.

01:17:44.000 No, dude.

01:17:45.000 I would still...

01:17:46.000 No.

01:17:46.000 My mom, Riff City.

01:17:48.000 My mom has always been Riff City.

01:17:50.000 She was always having fun throughout all the darkness in our life.

01:17:53.000 We had some rough periods, you know.

01:17:56.000 But in my house, it's always been fun city.

01:18:00.000 I would always...

01:18:02.000 It's always been my humor. 0.99

01:18:03.000 I would literally, dude, I would have points where it's me and my mother on fucking... 1.00

01:18:08.000 Because we would just leave the house during the night, you know. 0.95

01:18:11.000 We'd just walk towards...

01:18:13.000 And my sister was a bit older, so she moved out. 0.99

01:18:15.000 So we would just walk in the night towards the direction, and she would try to call all her friends where to stay for the night, because this ape is fucking going bananas back home. 1.00

01:18:23.000 And we would be on the sidewalk, you know. 0.94

01:18:26.000 So what did you start out with?

01:18:28.000 What was the first martial art that you... 0.97

01:18:30.000 And the next day I would go to school and still be fucking happy puppy just because... 0.97

01:18:34.000 I don't know. 0.98

01:18:35.000 That was how we came up, right?

01:18:37.000 So then there was this program called Kick-Ass Martial Arts and it was Chris Crudelli, this guy.

01:18:45.000 Soul patch, British guy. 1.00

01:18:47.000 He would travel the world.

01:18:48.000 And this was at a point where Pride and UFC were happening.

01:18:52.000 But in...

01:18:54.000 Traditional martial arts were still holding on.

01:18:56.000 Wing Chun was holding on.

01:18:57.000 Aikido was holding on.

01:18:59.000 Kung Fu was kind of...

01:19:01.000 It was kind of going away, you know?

01:19:03.000 But Chris Crudelli had a program where he would travel the world and study these ancient...

01:19:07.000 There was this, like, dim muck, where it's like...

01:19:11.000 And seven years later, you die of cancer. 1.00

01:19:13.000 You know, all that shit. 1.00

01:19:14.000 And as a kid, I'm like, oh, that's all I gotta do. 1.00

01:19:17.000 Move to Korea for two weeks, study this fucking death touch, and just come back and kill somebody, you know? 1.00

01:19:23.000 But then, I remember I saw UFC... I saw a few pride fights from Fedor Emelianenko, because he was Russian, and he was a big, prominent figure in the martial arts community. 1.00

01:19:33.000 But I remember I saw Lyoto Machida Shogun, the first one.

01:19:38.000 And in my head, because Machida looked like a traditional martial artist, you know, because he was half Asian or something, you know?

01:19:44.000 So in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the... 0.99

01:19:46.000 Why don't these people do the Chris Crudelli shit, you know? 0.99

01:19:50.000 Fucking neutralize your opponent, do a wrist lock. 0.99

01:19:52.000 Then I start watching Pride, Wanderlei Silva. 0.99

01:19:55.000 He's stomping people, holding onto the ropes, stomping.

01:19:59.000 And in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the dim muck?

01:20:02.000 You know, hi! 1.00

01:20:03.000 And you fucking... 0.99

01:20:04.000 So then, I was maybe 15, 16, late, late, when I was doing gymnastics and I was doing a bit of weightlifting, and I saw dudes like wrestling, you know? 0.99

01:20:16.000 And I started thinking, like Greco-Roman, and I saw them like suplex, jacked guys in fucking, just suplexing each other, and that's where the wheels start turning of like, dude, you're not gonna wrist lock this guy.

01:20:29.000 You're not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna death touch this guy. 0.93

01:20:32.000 This guy's gonna run through me.

01:20:35.000 So I joined a gym, SPG subsidiary gym, Preet Mikkelsen, shout out, my man.

01:20:42.000 He was a great mentor and a father figure at that time for me.

01:20:47.000 And I joined his gym.

01:20:50.000 It was jujitsu and we did everything together.

01:20:55.000 I had my first amateur fight like five months into doing it.

01:21:01.000 That's crazy.

01:21:02.000 That's crazy.

01:21:04.000 Did they make sure that the person you fought didn't have a lot of experience either?

01:21:07.000 Yes, but he was like 34. Oh no!

01:21:10.000 That's not fair.

01:21:11.000 And he went to war.

01:21:12.000 He was like a former military.

01:21:14.000 Stared down a tank.

01:21:15.000 Jesus Christ, bro. 1.00

01:21:17.000 But he was still amateur rules, but still MMA gloves, fucking haymaker city. 0.99

01:21:23.000 Was he good? 0.99

01:21:24.000 Yeah, he choked me to sleep.

01:21:26.000 I didn't tap.

01:21:28.000 Never tapped.

01:21:29.000 Never tapped.

01:21:30.000 I tried to tap.

01:21:31.000 I was too late.

01:21:34.000 Yeah, I would not recommend that. 0.99

01:21:35.000 I would not recommend you getting your ass kicked by someone who has a lot more experience at five months in. 0.98

01:21:40.000 I always think you've got to give... 0.99

01:21:41.000 I think we were the same experience in martial arts, but he was a man.

01:21:44.000 Dude, I'm a suburban boy.

01:21:46.000 Was he, though?

01:21:47.000 Let me tell you something.

01:21:48.000 If he got to be how old?

01:21:50.000 30-something?

01:21:51.000 And he went to war?

01:21:52.000 That dude's had training.

01:21:54.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:21:54.000 It's not just five months of training.

01:21:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:56.000 Fair.

01:21:56.000 Listen, that kind of guy has done a little bit here, a little bit there.

01:22:01.000 That kind of guy probably boxed a little when he was younger, did a little karate.

01:22:05.000 We were in such a small community that I still trained with him, I remember.

01:22:10.000 Oh, wow.

01:22:10.000 That boy was fine.

01:22:12.000 So he was nice to you after he took his sleep?

01:22:15.000 No, before, I mean.

01:22:16.000 Oh, you trained with them before?

01:22:17.000 Yeah, it was such a small community, you know.

01:22:19.000 Oh, wow.

01:22:19.000 So, I wouldn't say the skill discrepancy was actually that big, but it was just...

01:22:24.000 When you go to war and you can be in a competition, I'm having a full-on panic attack.

01:22:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:22:30.000 You know, I'm fucking first time in a fucking hand-to-hand combat situation. 0.99

01:22:34.000 You're a kid, he's a man. 1.00

01:22:35.000 This guy stared down a tank.

01:22:36.000 How old were you at the time?

01:22:38.000 16. Yeah,

01:23:08.000 that's not fair.

01:23:08.000 Who's like me?

01:23:09.000 He's a Russian guy.

01:23:10.000 Or are you fighting somebody whose name ends with a M-M-M-Metov?

01:23:14.000 It's very different.

01:23:15.000 It's still Russia. 0.91

01:23:16.000 Mountain Russians. 1.00

01:23:17.000 We say from the hills.

01:23:18.000 We always say from the hills.

01:23:20.000 It's a bit of a different double leg that's going to come at you.

01:23:26.000 Dude, did you see that Corey Sanhagen, Umar, Nurmagomedov fight?

01:23:30.000 Of course.

01:23:31.000 I felt bad for Sanhagen.

01:23:33.000 He was wrestling so well.

01:23:35.000 Everything correctly.

01:23:38.000 Sanhagen was cool.

01:23:39.000 He didn't get backed up into the corner too early.

01:23:42.000 He was keeping his distance.

01:23:44.000 He had good knees.

01:23:46.000 What I liked about Sanhagen in that fight, he used jiu-jitsu.

01:23:50.000 He was proper jujitsu.

01:23:51.000 And for the first two rounds, it's exactly like the Khabib thing. 0.99

01:23:55.000 The first two rounds, you can actually out-hustle.

01:23:58.000 Not out-hustle him, but you can be explosive enough to create those moments of jujitsu where you can stay safe.

01:24:07.000 But that train just keeps going.

01:24:10.000 The train keeps coming. 1.00

01:24:11.000 Just fucking keeps coming and mean! 0.99

01:24:14.000 The difference in Umar versus Khabib is that Umar is... 0.99

01:24:20.000 Stand-up.

01:24:20.000 His stand-up is so dynamic.

01:24:23.000 His kicking is so dynamic.

01:24:24.000 It's so dangerous and quick.

01:24:27.000 He throws head kicks off the front leg quick.

01:24:30.000 He throws things that are fast.

01:24:31.000 Yeah, he threw that front switch kick.

01:24:34.000 Not even a switch.

01:24:36.000 He just slapped it out there.

01:24:37.000 Dude, he's good. 0.99

01:24:39.000 He's fucking real good. 0.98

01:24:40.000 His striking was on point. 0.98

01:24:42.000 Everything was on point.

01:24:43.000 And he's more threatening wrestling.

01:24:45.000 It's like it was a more potent combination of the skills that Corey has as well.

01:24:50.000 I mean, Sanhagen's brilliant.

01:24:52.000 He's one of the best fighters in the sport, in my opinion.

01:24:55.000 So to see a guy like Umar beat him, you're like, wow!

01:24:59.000 That's hot! 0.99

01:24:59.000 And to come on strong in the fourth and the fifth, that guy's fucking good, man. 0.99

01:25:05.000 He's fucking good. 0.98

01:25:06.000 And him versus O'Malley would be wild! 0.99

01:25:11.000 Wild!

01:25:12.000 Or Marab.

01:25:13.000 Him versus Marab would be wild, too. 0.99

01:25:15.000 Well, Marab and him I want to see more because Marab is also a bully.

01:25:21.000 Marab is a different... 0.98

01:25:22.000 He's a bully. 0.98

01:25:24.000 He's made out of different stuff. 0.93

01:25:26.000 They say Marab trains hard right up into the fight.

01:25:29.000 But you can see that.

01:25:31.000 Right up into the fight.

01:25:31.000 You can see that.

01:25:32.000 Animal.

01:25:34.000 With a guy like that, you're always like, okay, how long can your joints hold out?

01:25:37.000 Exactly.

01:25:38.000 How long is it going to be before your back goes?

01:25:41.000 Because your will will carry you through. 0.98

01:25:43.000 If the human body wasn't so goddamn fragile, guys like that would never get beat. 0.97

01:25:47.000 Never get beat. 0.98

01:25:48.000 Exactly.

01:25:49.000 That's the whole thing.

01:25:50.000 Like Cain Velasquez, when his body started going?

01:25:53.000 Also, Marab's been dropped and hurt.

01:25:54.000 I think it was Marlon Werner who hurt him.

01:25:56.000 Marais.

01:25:57.000 Bad!

01:25:57.000 Marlon Marais.

01:25:59.000 Bad.

01:25:59.000 Had him really badly hurt.

01:26:01.000 And then he went out and stomped him in the next round. 1.00

01:26:02.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:26:03.000 Well, Marais had that thing where... 1.00

01:26:05.000 Poor bastard. 0.99

01:26:06.000 This guy feels so bad for him because he was so good. 1.00

01:26:09.000 So good.

01:26:10.000 But just, it's such a chaotic sport where a few bad...

01:26:15.000 Fights just can have such a tremendous amount of impact to your fights that the next ones, you know.

01:26:22.000 Well, the Sahuda fight, man, the first round, he was lighting Henry up. 1.00

01:26:27.000 Lighting him up.

01:26:28.000 Where I was like, if this guy can keep this up for five rounds, Henry's going to get stopped. 0.98

01:26:32.000 Henry just came on in the second round like an animal and beat the shit out of him. 0.97

01:26:37.000 He closed the distance and made it ugly. 0.98

01:26:38.000 He had one in PFL, too, with that left hook and that switch kick.

01:26:42.000 Ah!

01:26:42.000 He KO'd Aljamain Sterling.

01:26:44.000 Oh yeah, man.

01:26:45.000 Bad.

01:26:46.000 He KO'd Aljamain bad.

01:26:47.000 Went for a switch kick to the body, Aljamain shot in the knee.

01:26:50.000 But then once he lost to Henry, he started losing to a lot of folks.

01:26:53.000 A lot.

01:26:54.000 And now it's like...

01:26:55.000 There was the...

01:26:56.000 Sanhagen dropped him with a wheel kick, remember that?

01:27:00.000 Yeah, that was a bad one too.

01:27:02.000 Yeah, that was a bad one.

01:27:03.000 Right to the tempo.

01:27:04.000 Yeah, that just shows the skill diversity that guy has.

01:27:08.000 He could do everything.

01:27:09.000 Sanhagen's so good.

01:27:10.000 Everything. 0.99

01:27:10.000 So to watch Umar beat him, I'm like, God damn, Umar's the truth. 0.99

01:27:14.000 He's the truth. 0.99

01:27:16.000 It's like those guys in that part of the world.

01:27:19.000 Yeah.

01:27:19.000 And they're so frustrating because it's not like an incredible thing that they're doing, you know?

01:27:25.000 If you watch somebody like Conor McGregor, who has that fucking death touch, it's such a spectacle. 0.97

01:27:31.000 It's like, oh my God, this guy just has the power. 0.99

01:27:33.000 But these guys just out-hustle you, out-grind you.

01:27:38.000 Exactly.

01:27:39.000 And they keep...

01:27:40.000 They keep coming. 0.99

01:27:41.000 Annoying and bully and mean. 0.99

01:27:44.000 But then you got guys like Islam that could do everything. 0.99

01:27:47.000 And Umar.

01:27:48.000 This is the difference. 0.98

01:27:50.000 Islam is scary standing up. 1.00

01:27:52.000 In the beginning of his career, he was really good at wrestling, not as good at standing up. 0.91

01:27:58.000 But now he's just as good at standing up.

01:27:59.000 When you KO Volkanovski like that, and then you choke out Dustin Poirier like that, that guy...

01:28:07.000 That's the full thing, right? 0.90

01:28:09.000 He can head kick you. 0.99

01:28:11.000 He can strike with you and knock. 0.98

01:28:13.000 You knocked out Glacier Tebow with one shot standing.

01:28:15.000 He can knock you out, like legitimately.

01:28:18.000 And he can still strangle you. 0.54

01:28:19.000 And he can still smother you.

01:28:20.000 It's the perfect combination.

01:28:22.000 But it's like, that is such a crazy strategy.

01:28:26.000 It's like you're outmanning every guy you fight.

01:28:30.000 He's out-grappling him, out-striking him.

01:28:33.000 Most people try to be a specialist.

01:28:35.000 Exactly.

01:28:36.000 But they're like the full marauder.

01:28:39.000 The full marauder, man.

01:28:40.000 If you wanted to really think about who's the most complete fighter, you say Max Holloway, Ilya Tapuria, But Islam Makachev, you've got to put it at the top of the...

01:28:53.000 He's the most complete.

01:28:55.000 He could KO you with a head kick. 0.96

01:28:57.000 Just like Jon Jones if Jon Jones was active. 0.94

01:28:59.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:28:59.000 Let's not forget the one true God.

01:29:01.000 Jon Jones.

01:29:01.000 That's my boy.

01:29:02.000 The problem with Jon is...

01:29:03.000 He's the most dangerous man who's ever lived.

01:29:05.000 Unfortunately, that shoulder injury and then the uncertainty about moving up in the heavyweight.

01:29:11.000 Like, how's he going to deal with guys like Francis?

01:29:14.000 Which was always the big fight.

01:29:15.000 That was the big fight.

01:29:16.000 That was the fight that slipped between our fingers.

01:29:18.000 It was the Fedor, Brock Lesnar, all over again.

01:29:21.000 That was the big one that slipped through our fingers.

01:29:24.000 That was the fight.

01:29:24.000 Because, you know, the question is, would Francis be able to keep John off of him?

01:29:28.000 Exactly.

01:29:28.000 And would John be able to avoid the big strike standing?

01:29:31.000 Exactly.

01:29:32.000 There's a difference in size that's pretty significant.

01:29:34.000 Even when John was getting big, it's a different kind of big.

01:29:38.000 The 265 that Francis carries around, that's a natural lean 265. I mean, it's a cobalt mining or some shit? 0.99

01:29:50.000 No, sand mines. 0.99

01:29:51.000 Sand mines, yeah.

01:29:52.000 That's a different guy.

01:29:54.000 That dude's power is extraordinary.

01:29:57.000 That's a different guy.

01:29:58.000 Especially with them little gloves on, you cannot get clipped by that guy.

01:30:01.000 You cannot get clipped by that guy.

01:30:02.000 So the question is, would John be able to get a hold of Francis?

01:30:06.000 Would Francis be able to keep John off of him?

01:30:07.000 If Francis can keep John off of him, would Francis be able to stop those leg kicks? 0.99

01:30:12.000 Because John sidekicks the shit out of people's knees. 0.99

01:30:15.000 And it'll fucking scare you because it makes your leg hyperextend, it'll blow your knee out. 0.99

01:30:20.000 Mean. 0.99

01:30:20.000 It's mean. 0.99

01:30:21.000 I loved John Jones when he was mean.

01:30:22.000 Glover Deschera with that overhook.

01:30:25.000 Remember that overhook that he had on the shoulder?

01:30:28.000 Yeah, man.

01:30:29.000 Mean.

01:30:30.000 Elbows.

01:30:31.000 How about Thiago?

01:30:32.000 Thiago had to get two knee surgeries.

01:30:34.000 Both knees were blown apart.

01:30:36.000 As soon as he goes up.

01:30:37.000 Put him to sleep.

01:30:38.000 Just dropped him.

01:30:39.000 Yeah.

01:30:40.000 Well, his run in the light heavyweight division was unprecedented.

01:30:44.000 Nothing like it.

01:30:45.000 Literally created for human combat.

01:30:47.000 His body looked insane.

01:30:49.000 Small torso with limbs coming out.

01:30:52.000 It looked insane.

01:30:53.000 If you saw, his silhouette looks insane.

01:30:56.000 Right.

01:30:56.000 And how small his calves are.

01:30:59.000 Yeah.

01:31:00.000 But yet, tremendous strength.

01:31:03.000 And strong.

01:31:03.000 And the best guy ever at utilizing distance.

01:31:07.000 Strong mentally, for sure.

01:31:08.000 Mentally.

01:31:09.000 And clever.

01:31:10.000 Clever.

01:31:11.000 Yeah, we just have to see him back.

01:31:12.000 And apparently they're trying to do that thing.

01:31:16.000 It's supposed to be in Madison Square Garden, right?

01:31:18.000 Is that announced officially, Young Jamie?

01:31:21.000 John Jones versus Stipe, Madison Square Garden, November.

01:31:26.000 So it's being talked about.

01:31:27.000 I also know there's respect to Stipe, but I don't want to see that fight that badly as I want to see, you know.

01:31:34.000 I feel like you've got to give Stipe one more shot.

01:31:37.000 Okay.

01:31:38.000 I feel like the guy's been strung around for this long.

01:31:41.000 If you want to respect the history and the lineage of the UFC heavyweight championship, he's the most accomplished UFC heavyweight of all time.

01:31:50.000 He defended the title more than anybody.

01:31:52.000 And, you know, he stopped Daniel Cormier. 1.00

01:31:54.000 He's a legit fucking killer. 0.99

01:31:56.000 He stopped a lot of, like, very, very good people. 1.00

01:32:00.000 He stopped Junior Dos Santos.

01:32:00.000 He also won Francis.

01:32:02.000 Yeah, he beat Francis the first fight.

01:32:04.000 And he hurt him the second time.

01:32:06.000 Yeah, but the second time it was a different Francis.

01:32:09.000 Jesus Christ.

01:32:10.000 One of the scariest KOs I've ever seen in my life.

01:32:12.000 In the apex.

01:32:13.000 Yeah.

01:32:15.000 Dude, being there live was incredible.

01:32:16.000 Oh, you were there live?

01:32:17.000 Oh, yeah.

01:32:18.000 So there was like 100 people in that place.

01:32:21.000 When he followed up with the hammer fist to the neck area and that thud.

01:32:26.000 Bro, that left hook was...

01:32:28.000 And it was like when Stipe was trying to capitalize on a shot, he landed.

01:32:32.000 It's one of those victories where me and the boys were on the couch and it's not a woo, it's a...

01:32:41.000 Yikes.

01:32:41.000 Because also you know how much damage Stipe has taken in his career.

01:32:45.000 Jesus Christ.

01:32:47.000 And Stipe hurts him.

01:32:48.000 There it is.

01:32:49.000 He hit him with that left hook and really hurt him there.

01:32:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:51.000 But Stipe also hurts him.

01:32:52.000 Stipe also hurts him.

01:32:53.000 Look at this.

01:32:54.000 And now Stipe goes, oh!

01:32:56.000 And he thought he had it, so he moved in.

01:32:59.000 He thought he had him when he landed that right hand.

01:33:06.000 Christ, my lord.

01:33:07.000 So apparently he's gained a bunch of muscle.

01:33:09.000 Stipe has.

01:33:09.000 He's been lifting a lot.

01:33:12.000 And, you know, he hasn't fought in two years.

01:33:14.000 Thank God I'm doing comedy.

01:33:15.000 Yeah, thank God.

01:33:16.000 But for me, when I look at an older fighter like Stipe, who's a legend, that's kind of what I want.

01:33:22.000 I want a guy to take a long time off in between a bad KO and And then, you know, no one's more disciplined than that guy.

01:33:30.000 He's a very disciplined, dedicated fighter.

01:33:32.000 That's why he was the most successful UFC heavyweight champion ever.

01:33:36.000 He's also 40-something years old, right?

01:33:38.000 42, I think, even.

01:33:39.000 Okay, so if you just look realistically at natural athletes, when they get to that age, you have concerns.

01:33:45.000 Like, how much of their performance do they have left?

01:33:48.000 And it varies.

01:33:49.000 But it does last longer as a heavyweight.

01:33:52.000 Absolutely.

01:33:53.000 Heavyweights, they can...

01:33:54.000 Because the nervous system doesn't need to be as rapid fire.

01:33:59.000 Like a bantamweight.

01:34:00.000 Like 42-year-old bantamweight is kind of done.

01:34:03.000 But George Foreman won the heavyweight title at 45. Absolutely.

01:34:07.000 Bernard Hopkins.

01:34:08.000 Yeah, but Bernard was a freak.

01:34:10.000 I just feel like as a fan and as a person who respects the sport, you gotta give Stipe a shot.

01:34:17.000 Especially when he was supposed to fight John and then John tore his shoulder.

01:34:23.000 It's a classic thing.

01:34:24.000 It's the mean quote that Don King used to have.

01:34:27.000 When they asked him why he was ripping off Mike Tyson, he was like, you gotta keep the lion hungry.

01:34:34.000 Imagine that's your justification for stealing money.

01:34:37.000 I know.

01:34:37.000 But Mike Tyson fought six times that year.

01:34:40.000 That's true.

01:34:41.000 Right.

01:34:41.000 That's true.

01:34:42.000 But that is for some of those guys.

01:34:44.000 That's what they need.

01:34:44.000 Not some.

01:34:45.000 As soon as...

01:34:46.000 Because, you know, I was a big Conor guy.

01:34:48.000 SPG, the lineage.

01:34:49.000 We had the connection, you know.

01:34:51.000 The connection.

01:34:52.000 And as soon as Conor started getting rich, I was...

01:34:56.000 You know, as soon as Jon Jones got rich, all of us...

01:34:58.000 I'm at home.

01:34:59.000 Let me guess.

01:35:00.000 Never gonna see you!

01:35:02.000 I don't think that's what happened with John.

01:35:04.000 With John, there was a bunch of other factors.

01:35:05.000 True.

01:35:06.000 Lifestyle.

01:35:07.000 Absolutely.

01:35:08.000 And that's why that steeper fight is also exhilarating of like the traditional family guy in the gym and then the other guy who's like...

01:35:17.000 The greatest psycho that's ever.

01:35:19.000 And I love it, dude. 0.65

01:35:20.000 When he went to Vegas to get his Hall of Fame induction and just disappeared into the night.

01:35:30.000 I like the Aspinol.

01:35:33.000 How many milligrams are those?

01:35:35.000 Threes?

01:35:35.000 Can I have one?

01:35:36.000 Yeah, this is Athletic Nicotine.

01:35:38.000 It's another company.

01:35:39.000 Somebody gave me an 8-milligram yesterday.

01:35:41.000 Oh, that's too much.

01:35:41.000 I was having a panic attack at 2am.

01:35:43.000 That's too ridiculous. 0.93

01:35:44.000 I was having a panic attack at 2am. 0.96

01:35:45.000 I've cut my consumption quite a bit.

01:35:50.000 I like that fight.

01:35:52.000 I think Jon Jones and Tom Aspinall is an interesting fight.

01:35:55.000 Tom is a big, fast heavyweight. 0.99

01:35:58.000 He's a fucking powerhouse, man. 0.99

01:35:59.000 And he's big. 1.00

01:36:01.000 He's big as shit. 1.00

01:36:03.000 Big as shit. 1.00

01:36:04.000 If you look at fights where John has had difficulty, some of them have been really elite strikers. 0.99

01:36:13.000 He had some difficulty with Lyota Machida before he got a hold of Lyota.

01:36:17.000 First round Machida.

01:36:18.000 He had some difficulty with Dominic Reyes.

01:36:20.000 Absolutely.

01:36:21.000 Dominic Reyes, some people even thought he lost that fight.

01:36:24.000 Absolutely.

01:36:25.000 Even Thiago Silva.

01:36:28.000 Santos.

01:36:29.000 Santos. 0.98

01:36:29.000 That's the guy who would kick both his knees out. 0.98

01:36:31.000 Yeah.

01:36:31.000 But that was a split decision.

01:36:32.000 Yeah, and even there, even though Thiago was hectic and temperamental in his exchanges, not like a refined striker.

01:36:40.000 But he's just super dangerous, though.

01:36:41.000 It created problems for Johnston. 0.99

01:36:43.000 Yeah, that fucking sledgehammer that that dude has tattooed on his chest, that's for real. 1.00

01:36:49.000 That's how hard he hits. 1.00

01:36:51.000 Dude had a sledgehammer tattooed on his tits. 1.00

01:36:56.000 It's amazing! 1.00

01:36:57.000 But that dude was scary.

01:36:59.000 But also with Aspinel and Jones, you know, every time people say, dude, watching him and Cyril Gan, and all respect to Cyril Gan, but he never felt anything.

01:37:07.000 It was a made-up guillotine, even, just on the cage. 0.99

01:37:10.000 He just was like, check this shit out. 0.99

01:37:12.000 Yeah, but as long as he gets a hold of your neck and he's doubling you up in that position where he can press his chest on your head. 1.00

01:37:19.000 With a guy like John, with his kind of squeeze, that's horrific.

01:37:22.000 A guy like Cyril Gan that's only been grappling for like five years, you're going to get strangled.

01:37:27.000 It's just that even with John Jones, you know, the heavyweight division has always been a shallow division due to the reason of people being just that size of humans.

01:37:37.000 There's a very small percentage.

01:37:38.000 Including heavyweight boxing.

01:37:40.000 100%.

01:37:41.000 Did you see that guy Boccoli knockout Jared Anderson?

01:37:45.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:37:45.000 Holy shit, that Boccoli guy's terrifying. 0.99

01:37:47.000 Holy shit! 1.00

01:37:49.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:37:49.000 I'd heard about him from sparring sessions. 1.00

01:37:51.000 That was the first fight I saw, yeah.

01:37:52.000 Yeah, me too.

01:37:53.000 I watched a highlight reel of him on YouTube, but I'm not the biggest...

01:37:57.000 Like, I don't...

01:37:58.000 I don't know all the fighters that are fighting.

01:38:00.000 I know a bunch, but I know like maybe 30% of boxing compared to what I know about MMA. So I had heard about this guy from an article saying that no one wants to spar him.

01:38:13.000 And I was like, how come?

01:38:14.000 And then I watched him fight, and I'm like, oh, well, that's why.

01:38:17.000 Jesus Christ, he's 285 pounds. 0.99

01:38:19.000 He's 6'6", 285 pounds, and takes a fucking tremendous shot. 0.99

01:38:25.000 And a lot of people thought, this kid, Jared Anderson, he's only 24, and he's still very talented. 0.99

01:38:30.000 But look at this fucking... 0.99

01:38:31.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:38:32.000 Bro, that was round one. 0.94

01:38:35.000 Okay, he dropped him in round one, but then he hit him with this sneaky-ass uppercut. 0.72

01:38:39.000 Watch this uppercut. 1.00

01:38:42.000 Look at this uppercut, dude.

01:38:45.000 I mean, my god. 0.97

01:38:46.000 This guy's like casually beating the shit out of him. 0.95

01:38:49.000 This guy is so big, dude. 0.98

01:38:51.000 And I heard people are terrified to spar with this cat. 0.99

01:38:54.000 Like, they don't want to fucking spar with this dude. 0.99

01:38:56.000 You bring this guy in to spar you, and he's just beating the fuck out of you, and he can take an insane shot. 0.99

01:39:01.000 Jesus! 0.98

01:39:01.000 He took like a three-piece there, too. 0.98

01:39:03.000 Like it was nothing.

01:39:04.000 He just moves his head a little bit.

01:39:06.000 A little bit.

01:39:07.000 A little bit when he's getting hit.

01:39:08.000 He rolls it a little bit.

01:39:09.000 But the really good boxers, the guys who spar, look at that uppercut, that sneaky left uppercut.

01:39:14.000 He keeps hitting him with.

01:39:15.000 Look at that one he hits him with.

01:39:17.000 So he wasn't exactly in and out of distance, you know what I'm saying?

01:39:20.000 He just stands right in front of you.

01:39:21.000 And he was parallel legs so he can hit with both arms.

01:39:24.000 He's much bigger, right?

01:39:25.000 He's 40 pounds bigger than this dude. 1.00

01:39:27.000 And he's fucking dangerous as shit, man. 1.00

01:39:32.000 Look at that right hand, man. 1.00

01:39:33.000 How beautiful is it, too?

01:39:35.000 But it's like skillful.

01:39:36.000 It's skillful fluid punching, but from a tank.

01:39:40.000 He's that panzer.

01:39:42.000 Yeah, skillful.

01:39:43.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:39:43.000 And he's crazy knockout power and he's a vicious body puncher too, man.

01:39:48.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99

01:39:48.000 I watched some of his highlights of some of his other fights and I went down a rabbit hole. 0.99

01:39:52.000 Vicious body puncher too.

01:39:54.000 It's terrifying.

01:39:55.000 Just walks towards you. 1.00

01:39:57.000 Just beats your ass. 1.00

01:39:58.000 You can't hurt him. 1.00

01:39:59.000 Crazy.

01:39:59.000 It's like, remember Francis Ngannou and who's that South African amazing...

01:40:04.000 No, he's not South African.

01:40:06.000 Are you thinking about Jairzino Rosenstreich?

01:40:07.000 Rosenstreich.

01:40:08.000 Yeah.

01:40:08.000 Remember that?

01:40:09.000 He just stormed him.

01:40:10.000 No, it was literally not even a proper punch.

01:40:13.000 It was Francis just walked towards him like this.

01:40:15.000 Yeah, just winging.

01:40:18.000 Winging.

01:40:18.000 Winging nuclear bombs.

01:40:20.000 And one of them caught him.

01:40:20.000 Boom!

01:40:21.000 Out cold.

01:40:22.000 And another one on the way down.

01:40:23.000 Boom! 0.99

01:40:24.000 Yeah.

01:40:24.000 Well, that's the kind of power that Francis has.

01:40:26.000 It's just...

01:40:28.000 Crazy.

01:40:28.000 It's crazy!

01:40:30.000 That's why I always love combat sports so much.

01:40:32.000 It's that there's a lot of sports like tennis where a lot of money plays a big role in the sport.

01:40:43.000 It's a rich sport.

01:40:46.000 So a lot of money, a lot of business, a lot of politics enters into the sport.

01:40:51.000 Soccer is like that.

01:40:52.000 Basketball is like that.

01:40:52.000 Lots of politics.

01:40:54.000 But combat sports is like a dude.

01:40:58.000 From, yeah, like a sand mine to somewhere in the world to start KOing people.

01:41:05.000 And within five... 1.00

01:41:06.000 I mean, Conor McGregor, a guy who's a fucking pipe... 0.99

01:41:11.000 Not an engineer, but he was some blue-collar job. 0.99

01:41:15.000 There's also people that if they do something first and then get into fighting, like there's a lot of guys that are like powerlifters, crossfit guys, NFL players.

01:41:25.000 I think a big one that's going to be...

01:41:28.000 We'll see is people, gymnastics, because especially guys who do the rings and things like that, think about how much more arm dexterity and strength those guys have.

01:41:37.000 Imagine that guy getting your neck, you know?

01:41:40.000 Imagine a guy like that who's a black belt in jujitsu with that kind of crazy strength to be able to hold yourself up in the air like that.

01:41:47.000 I did maybe three, four years of gymnastics before I started.

01:41:50.000 Did it help you?

01:41:51.000 Oh, absolutely.

01:41:52.000 That's when I started wrestling.

01:41:54.000 Because wrestlers, Greco-Roman wrestlers, do gymnastics. 0.99

01:41:56.000 They all do flips and shit. 0.99

01:41:57.000 So that's when I started watching them practice. 0.99

01:42:00.000 And I was doing gymnastics.

01:42:02.000 And I remember when I started jiu-jitsu, I remember just even my get-ups from positions and where I'm strong, the positions where I could be strong, were much more different than a guy who's in the gym all the time, bench-boxing.

01:42:14.000 Right, right, right, right.

01:42:16.000 Yeah.

01:42:16.000 For sure.

01:42:17.000 You have much better control of your body.

01:42:18.000 One of the things we found out at 10th Planet was with Richie and Gio Martinez was break dancers.

01:42:24.000 Oh, absolutely.

01:42:25.000 That's gymnastics.

01:42:26.000 Totally.

01:42:27.000 That's gymnastics.

01:42:27.000 Totally.

01:42:28.000 When those guys started training, everybody was like, whoa.

01:42:31.000 And so Eddie started learning break dancing moves.

01:42:33.000 He's like, Eddie's the best.

01:42:34.000 He's like, what do we got to do?

01:42:36.000 What do we got to do?

01:42:36.000 Let's do...

01:42:38.000 Show me how to breakdance. 0.99

01:42:38.000 Because, like, those guys can do all that crazy shit where they can spin around on one hand. 0.99

01:42:42.000 Like, so they can do, like, a lotus in the air. 0.99

01:42:45.000 They can do a handstand.

01:42:46.000 Then they put their legs in the lotus position, and they can stand on one hand.

01:42:49.000 And hop around on one hand.

01:42:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:42:51.000 Bananas.

01:42:52.000 So that kind of control of your body and that kind of strength, like, directly...

01:42:56.000 Those guys really got very...

01:42:57.000 Well, they also trained really hard.

01:42:58.000 But they got very good at jiu-jitsu very quick.

01:43:00.000 Yeah.

01:43:01.000 My party trick used to be a backflip at a nightclub.

01:43:04.000 No slippery shoes for you, bro.

01:43:06.000 Just whip it out.

01:43:07.000 You can't have them slippery.

01:43:08.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:43:09.000 When I see men wear those shoes, I'm like, do you hate traction?

01:43:12.000 Dude, when I buy jeans when I go to stores, the clerks will always think I'm insane because I'll practice checking for a bit.

01:43:22.000 Just check a kick. 0.53

01:43:22.000 You know what you need? 0.53

01:43:23.000 You need a pair of Origin jeans.

01:43:26.000 Oh, like stretchy ones?

01:43:27.000 The most light, stretchy.

01:43:30.000 Combat ready?

01:43:30.000 They are basically pajamas.

01:43:32.000 They're basically pajamas.

01:43:33.000 They feel like sweatpants.

01:43:34.000 But do they look pretty though?

01:43:35.000 Yeah, let me show you.

01:43:36.000 Go to the Origin website.

01:43:38.000 All American-made, everything.

01:43:40.000 Threads, everything.

01:43:41.000 Manufactured in America, everything, 100%.

01:43:43.000 Buttons, everything.

01:43:45.000 All made in America. 0.98

01:43:46.000 This is Jocko Willink's company.

01:43:48.000 I have to do shirts sometimes, too, when I feel just a nice shirt, but it's tight.

01:43:52.000 I go, what if I need to pull guard?

01:43:54.000 They look like regular pants. 0.98

01:43:55.000 Yeah, if you need to pull guard in these, dude, you could fucking train in these. 0.99

01:43:58.000 I could literally kick the bag in these, and I'm not bullshitting. 0.99

01:44:01.000 I'm not bullshitting. 1.00

01:44:02.000 You could throw head kicks in these. 0.99

01:44:03.000 They're like pajamas.

01:44:05.000 But they look like jeans.

01:44:07.000 $129.

01:44:07.000 That's $110 outside of my budget.

01:44:10.000 I'll get you a pair.

01:44:12.000 Text me what your size is and I'll get you a pair. 1.00

01:44:15.000 They're the shit. 0.99

01:44:16.000 There's a bunch of different companies that sell stuff like that. 1.00

01:44:20.000 I really like barbell jeans.

01:44:23.000 They do that.

01:44:24.000 They sell those.

01:44:25.000 I've heard of those.

01:44:26.000 Revtown are my favorite.

01:44:28.000 Revtown is like the best cut.

01:44:30.000 Those are the ones I wore in the special.

01:44:31.000 Those are Revtown jeans when I did the special.

01:44:33.000 They're super stretchy.

01:44:35.000 You can stretch out in them.

01:44:36.000 But by far, the most comfortable are the Origin ones.

01:44:39.000 The Origin's, they nailed it.

01:44:40.000 Because it's the most loose.

01:44:42.000 The other ones are really free-moving, but they're pants.

01:44:47.000 Look at that picture!

01:44:49.000 20 bucks, that's my budget!

01:44:51.000 When I talked about that in my special, people were like, what?

01:44:53.000 Chuck Norris action jeans?

01:44:55.000 Like, they were a real thing when I was a kid.

01:44:57.000 Won't find your legs! 0.97

01:44:57.000 They had a gusset in the crotch. 0.97

01:44:59.000 Look at those slippery shoes. 0.68

01:45:00.000 Yeah, he's got the slippery shoes. 0.98

01:45:02.000 Chuck didn't give a fuck about traction. 0.97

01:45:04.000 Chuck wasn't worried about you. 0.98

01:45:05.000 He was trying to pivot on you, son.

01:45:07.000 I used to work as a bouncer in a club where there was an outfit for the security, too.

01:45:12.000 And dress shoes, dress pants, red, suspenders, and like a fully...

01:45:20.000 What's the tuxedo shirt?

01:45:22.000 Like a color shirt.

01:45:24.000 Stiff.

01:45:25.000 Not good.

01:45:25.000 And I remember the whole time being like, I'm going to rip these pants off.

01:45:28.000 As soon as I even do anything.

01:45:31.000 Not only that, but someone with a collar on, if you have a collar, if you have like a shirt with a collar, that is a weapon against you that's on your neck.

01:45:40.000 Like, why do you have that?

01:45:41.000 That seems so crazy.

01:45:42.000 If you're in a position where you think you might have to defend yourself, you should be wearing something that tears away from your body fairly easily around the upper body, and the lower body, it better give you some movement. 0.98

01:45:53.000 And you better have some goddamn traction on the bottom of your soles. 0.99

01:45:57.000 See, that was my big issue. 0.99

01:45:58.000 And the floor is a nightclub floor. 0.99

01:46:00.000 Those are all fucking slippery doodles. 1.00

01:46:02.000 All polished, slippery, and beer and shit spilled everywhere. 1.00

01:46:05.000 Every fight I would see would literally be the first guy throwing the buns. 0.99

01:46:08.000 Whippee! 0.98

01:46:08.000 Yep. 0.98

01:46:09.000 And they're all on the ground.

01:46:10.000 And then people are kicking you in the head with boots on. 1.00

01:46:13.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00

01:46:14.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:46:15.000 Yeah, fuck getting in fights. 1.00

01:46:17.000 You know, that's the other thing. 1.00

01:46:18.000 People always say, if I could fight, I'd fucking be fucking everybody. 0.99

01:46:21.000 I'm like, no, you wouldn't. 1.00

01:46:22.000 You'd be dead. 0.98

01:46:22.000 I punched one person in my lifetime working there. 0.98

01:46:25.000 Just one person. 0.95

01:46:26.000 Most of the time, I would grab them, try to get them in a hole.

01:46:29.000 They would calm down.

01:46:30.000 And one time, it was so...

01:46:32.000 This was this... 1.00

01:46:34.000 Big fucking guy. 1.00

01:46:35.000 And he opened with a front kick. 1.00

01:46:37.000 Oh no.

01:46:38.000 A well hip over. 0.98

01:46:40.000 Fat dude.

01:46:42.000 Like 40 years old. 0.94

01:46:43.000 But he threw a legit front kick. 1.00

01:46:45.000 Yeah.

01:46:46.000 And immediately I knew I'm not gonna just grab him.

01:46:50.000 That's a crazy thing to open with.

01:46:51.000 Yeah.

01:46:52.000 I get a hold of that and I throw an overhand immediately.

01:46:56.000 Break my thumb to this day.

01:46:57.000 Oh no.

01:46:58.000 Immediately.

01:46:59.000 Overhand straight to his temple and I feel all my hands.

01:47:03.000 It's done.

01:47:04.000 Did the guy get hurt?

01:47:05.000 No.

01:47:06.000 Not a dent.

01:47:07.000 Not a dent.

01:47:07.000 You know how he left the nightclub?

01:47:09.000 How?

01:47:09.000 He dragged his wife by her hair.

01:47:12.000 Jesus.

01:47:13.000 Like a...

01:47:14.000 And left the club into the night.

01:47:16.000 Maybe that's what she likes. 0.99

01:47:18.000 She likes to go to bars, fuck a bunch of people up, and then drag her away, like, let's go, baby. 1.00

01:47:23.000 And she just rides them. 1.00

01:47:25.000 Chokes them.

01:47:28.000 And then we went to court from that incident.

01:47:31.000 Oh my God.

01:47:31.000 Did he get sued or did you sue them?

01:47:34.000 I think it was the nightclub suing him.

01:47:39.000 Not suing, but whatever settlement.

01:47:42.000 I mean, people got hurt, so it's still some sort of an investigation.

01:47:46.000 But I had to testify in court.

01:47:48.000 And he had to do a formal apology.

01:47:50.000 They do that here too, right?

01:47:52.000 Where you have to stand up in court and do a formal apology.

01:47:54.000 And he had to, me and the other bartenders working there, I was the only security working that night of course.

01:47:59.000 That's classic nightclub, 200 people only guy, 19 year old kid, cool.

01:48:02.000 Yeah, great. 0.98

01:48:03.000 With a bartender who's gay. 0.98

01:48:05.000 Awesome.

01:48:06.000 So we had to be, and he had to apologize.

01:48:09.000 He goes, gentlemen, I'm sorry.

01:48:11.000 And you know how he showed up to court?

01:48:13.000 He was just all swollen up.

01:48:15.000 Not from that fight.

01:48:16.000 This was months later.

01:48:18.000 So he's just living that lifestyle.

01:48:20.000 He's just out there wrong.

01:48:21.000 Yeah, he just showed up in court and was like, I'm sorry, gentlemen.

01:48:25.000 And just goes into the day. 1.00

01:48:26.000 Maybe the cops beat his ass. 1.00

01:48:28.000 Maybe, but he just came to go and I remember all of us being like, Jesus Christ, this Mongoloid. 1.00

01:48:33.000 This fucking... 1.00

01:48:34.000 Some dudes like to fight. 1.00

01:48:36.000 That's a very unfortunate thing that you enjoy.

01:48:38.000 See, that was another thing.

01:48:40.000 That when I went to all these self-defense classes, I used to go to Wong Wing Chun, you know?

01:48:44.000 And there would be a master who said, you know, sparring is not real-life combat.

01:48:49.000 In real-life combat, I hurt you. 0.99

01:48:51.000 I kill you, you know? 1.00

01:48:52.000 And I'm like, interesting. 0.99

01:48:54.000 But I would already go to jiu-jitsu and I'd be in my head like...

01:48:57.000 You know this instructor shows up, he's got a belly button that has hair in it, and it's a little floppy.

01:49:02.000 And I'm like, I reckon if I low kick you, you're going to feel something.

01:49:08.000 And that was a big problem, you know, with self-defense courses.

01:49:13.000 And me and Preet, the jiu-jitsu guy, we actually used to go to a couple of youth camps where there was troublesome youth, you know, who got into fights.

01:49:22.000 And we would do demonstrations where...

01:49:24.000 Do you know in the 90s, in Eastern Europe, there was a rise in people getting stabbed because people would think that you take this course on, you know, you take a course every Sunday where they teach you, somebody had to actually be done.

01:49:38.000 I remember my friend telling me, like, if you want to attack me with a knife, you're more dangerous to yourself than you are to me, because he believed in this system. 0.98

01:49:45.000 And then all these retards would be in fucking Latvia or something, and you're with your girl and some crackhead comes up at you. 1.00

01:49:51.000 And you're just carved up. 1.00

01:49:52.000 Here you go, baby. 1.00

01:49:54.000 Suck! 1.00

01:49:54.000 And you see your fucking blood on your hands. 1.00

01:49:57.000 And that's always what I learned immediately from working as a bouncer. 1.00

01:50:05.000 Yeah, I'm comfortable in a sparring environment.

01:50:08.000 Mouthguard on and we're friends.

01:50:10.000 Even though you're trying to take my head off, I'm in a comfortable environment where I know if I go out, it's over.

01:50:17.000 If I could hurt, if you hurt me with a middle kick.

01:50:19.000 You're not going to get...

01:50:21.000 But there's men out there who go to bars, they get gacked up, and they just brawl.

01:50:27.000 Those are men who are comfortable in the chaos of a bar, you know.

01:50:32.000 Also, probably not making good decisions at any stage of their life.

01:50:36.000 See, that's what I'm saying, is that even though I might be a jiu-jitsu guy, this guy's gonna bite my ear, he's gonna, you know.

01:50:43.000 You don't want to fight people, period.

01:50:45.000 So that's when I really put together all those self-defense.

01:50:48.000 And me and Preet would go to youth camps and he would like crank up a plastic bottle and he would be like, okay, Ari, do all the cool moves that they all teach, you know, like, hi, hi!

01:51:00.000 Behind the back, grab the knife, you know?

01:51:03.000 And then he would just, you know, I would like grab his wrist and then he would just pull the knife away and he's like, at that point you have a deep cut in your arm. 0.99

01:51:10.000 You'd be fucked. 0.99

01:51:11.000 And he would look at those kids and go, so you guys think that if you see your white flesh like a rose open up in your palm, you think you're going to look at that and go, okay, fucking get the pose. 1.00

01:51:24.000 No, that's a... 0.97

01:51:25.000 Instant panic attack survival instinct.

01:51:28.000 I don't want to see if it's really bad.

01:51:30.000 Is that a knife fight?

01:51:32.000 It's almost describing exactly what you're saying.

01:51:34.000 This guy gets his leg cut really bad.

01:51:37.000 Oh, I did see that.

01:51:38.000 Don't show it to me.

01:51:39.000 Don't show it to me.

01:51:39.000 It's horrible.

01:51:40.000 It's horrible.

01:51:41.000 It's horrible.

01:51:41.000 They're beating up this kid and the kid pulls a knife out and slices his thigh open almost to the bone.

01:51:46.000 Like where it opens up like a flap.

01:51:48.000 Dude, I gotta pee so bad.

01:51:49.000 Oh, I gotta pee too.

01:51:50.000 Let's be right back.

01:51:50.000 We'll be right back.

01:51:51.000 Let's be right back.

01:51:51.000 And we're back.

01:51:53.000 We're back.

01:51:53.000 Doesn't it feel so good?

01:51:54.000 There's a feeling that when you have to pee, that you have like 30% of your mind is available.

01:52:01.000 Absolutely.

01:52:02.000 70% is like, don't piss your pants.

01:52:04.000 And you're talking about wrist locks.

01:52:05.000 I'm like, right?

01:52:06.000 Gotta get it.

01:52:07.000 I can't take it.

01:52:09.000 Woo! 0.99

01:52:10.000 I had to pee too, but I was just like, I'm going to piss my pants on this.

01:52:13.000 No, we did it.

01:52:13.000 We held it together.

01:52:15.000 We held it together.

01:52:16.000 Hey, thank you for being there Saturday night.

01:52:18.000 It was a lot of fun.

01:52:19.000 And Friday night too.

01:52:20.000 By the way, I have to say, dude, watching you do that live special is amazing to just watch you.

01:52:27.000 Dude, me and Ron White were in the green room when you were on stage and we were like, thank God.

01:52:33.000 We're just chilling.

01:52:35.000 Because it's scary.

01:52:36.000 It's scary.

01:52:37.000 Yeah.

01:52:38.000 But then again...

01:52:39.000 And here's another point that I have to say that...

01:52:42.000 Do you know how crazy it is that you have, okay, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, but you are an actual practitioner of an art form that only 10 years ago was not even...

01:52:55.000 Stand-up comedy wasn't even the main form of comedy.

01:52:59.000 There was sketch comedy, improv...

01:53:00.000 Movies.

01:53:01.000 Movies.

01:53:02.000 Stand-up was...

01:53:04.000 A subsidiary art form of comedy, like a small genre, and that you, with now your platform and your voice, are a practitioner, you could...

01:53:17.000 This is how lucky we as comedians are to have a guy who's an actual practicing comedian.

01:53:23.000 You could also be like a famous guy and just live in the shadows, show up at a club every two months, be a superstar.

01:53:32.000 Because you're talented and funny enough, do a good set.

01:53:36.000 You know, people go home, that was great, that was Joe Rogan, because people come out to see you.

01:53:42.000 They'll have a good experience, but you're a guy, you're writing bits, you're like coming to the club, your own club, of course, you're coming to the club, and you're writing, you're working on it, you're fixing it, and how lucky we are to have a guy who's an actual, 1.00

01:53:59.000 you could be like a piece of shit asshole. 1.00

01:54:01.000 You could! 1.00

01:54:02.000 Absolutely.

01:54:03.000 Yeah, but it wouldn't work.

01:54:04.000 We would never have been able to do what we're doing, and what we're doing is really good for me, too.

01:54:07.000 It's one of the reasons why, like, I think we're all benefiting greatly from that place.

01:54:13.000 We're all benefiting from the vibe of it.

01:54:16.000 Nobody's benefited more than me.

01:54:19.000 Me?

01:54:19.000 I've benefited more than you?

01:54:21.000 Yeah, we're both benefiting.

01:54:23.000 It's all good, dude.

01:54:24.000 It's all for everybody.

01:54:26.000 We're all getting something out of it, and we're all getting something in it together, too.

01:54:30.000 That's the cool part about it.

01:54:33.000 Asan always says that.

01:54:34.000 That's one of the things that door guys say.

01:54:35.000 When one of them gets a gig, they say, we up.

01:54:39.000 Dude, they're so supportive.

01:54:40.000 Because I also, dude, I auditioned for Adam.

01:54:43.000 I auditioned for Adam.

01:54:44.000 I got into the club the proper way. 0.98

01:54:48.000 I wasn't some fucking made with guy. 0.95

01:54:49.000 No, nobody knew who you were. 0.97

01:54:50.000 Yeah.

01:54:51.000 And whenever I get some opportunity like this right now, they're all so cheering for me.

01:54:56.000 It's very supportive because they also know that all the stuff that's happening to you can happen to them.

01:55:01.000 All the stuff that's happening right now to William Montgomery could happen to you.

01:55:05.000 Amazing.

01:55:05.000 All the stuff that's happening to David Lucas and Cam Patterson and all these guys.

01:55:10.000 Hans Kim.

01:55:11.000 Hans Kim's selling out weekends everywhere.

01:55:13.000 He's killing it.

01:55:14.000 And he's doing great. 0.96

01:55:15.000 His act is tight. 1.00

01:55:16.000 He's got some funny shit, man. 1.00

01:55:18.000 He's got some funny shit he works at. 1.00

01:55:20.000 That kid has spreadsheets and shit. 1.00

01:55:22.000 He's going over his material on fucking Google Docs. 0.99

01:55:26.000 Also, dude, every fucking week there's another guy in that club that I'm like, who's this guy? 0.99

01:55:32.000 Dude, Tyler Fisher. 0.99

01:55:34.000 Yep.

01:55:34.000 Oh my god, he's hilarious.

01:55:35.000 Bro, that bit he does about being a cop for the pedos?

01:55:38.000 Bro.

01:55:39.000 How funny is that bit?

01:55:42.000 I showed it to the door guys.

01:55:43.000 I filmed myself behind the curtain at Fat Man having to follow Tyler.

01:55:47.000 I filmed my own face and the applauses that he's getting and me being like this.

01:55:52.000 And I always riff with Tyler, I go, hey Tyler, how about we keep five characters today?

01:55:58.000 He has a full, because he has characters, impressions, he goes to the crowd, he jumps, he uses the stage, liners, jokes, anecdotes, callbacks, everything is tight!

01:56:08.000 Yeah, it's tight and he's got so much energy, enthusiasm, and that guy was having a hard time.

01:56:13.000 He was telling on the podcast that he got dropped by his agent because they couldn't handle any more white straight men.

01:56:21.000 Are you in the talent business? 0.99

01:56:23.000 You don't see how talented that fucking guy is? 0.99

01:56:26.000 But, you know, it's like this weird thing that we're all a part of. 0.99

01:56:31.000 Well, I was, dude.

01:56:32.000 Just, I mean, think of my storyline.

01:56:34.000 8th of December, I'm in London, the UK. I went to London a couple of years ago, had a great time because I was doing the open mic circuit.

01:56:43.000 But this time I went back as a headliner wanting to maybe move up in the industry.

01:56:49.000 Two months, nothing's happening.

01:56:53.000 Struggling, just because I went to New York, same thing.

01:56:57.000 It was just because I didn't really have a connection, nobody really knew me, and I'm also not a guy who's great at showing up at the park.

01:57:09.000 I don't do coke, I hang, but I only talk bits.

01:57:13.000 And I would go to, let's say, a New York comedy cellar, and there's like 20 guys with backpacks and tripods All waiting to talk to the manager, you know? 0.99

01:57:24.000 And when I see that, I always feel like, I don't wanna be another asshole. 0.97

01:57:28.000 You know, hello, I'm the guy, you know? 0.98

01:57:31.000 So I just felt like, on every audition I had, when you audition in London, that's also, shout out to Adam Egett.

01:57:38.000 Do you know how crazy that is, that he watches, Sunday, Monday, he watches everybody.

01:57:44.000 You can be on the street, A guy?

01:57:47.000 And you get to be in front of probably the most important talent scout.

01:57:51.000 And he watches them!

01:57:54.000 And if you do a good job, he'll give you a spot.

01:57:57.000 And he's really good at it.

01:57:59.000 He's really good at it.

01:58:00.000 He really understands comedy.

01:58:02.000 He understands comedy.

01:58:03.000 He gets it.

01:58:04.000 He sees voices.

01:58:06.000 He gives everybody a shot.

01:58:09.000 And he was on a show with Norm MacDonald.

01:58:11.000 They were co-hosts.

01:58:12.000 His best friend.

01:58:13.000 Yeah, Adam's awesome.

01:58:15.000 And he was the first guy that I got while I was deciding to do this.

01:58:21.000 He was number one.

01:58:21.000 So I remember when Sam...

01:58:23.000 So 8th of December, I fly over to Austin on 9th of December.

01:58:29.000 Nothing's going on.

01:58:30.000 Sam Talent is in town just by accident in Austin.

01:58:32.000 And he came to Estonia to visit me.

01:58:34.000 We only talked online before that.

01:58:37.000 And he goes, yeah, sure, I'll get you a spot.

01:58:39.000 But I didn't want to bother him, so I'm still signing up.

01:58:43.000 And then Sam goes, where are you?

01:58:45.000 Adam's looking for you. 1.00

01:58:46.000 And I go, oh shit. 1.00

01:58:47.000 I go to the security. 0.99

01:58:48.000 You know, the Avengers are out there.

01:58:50.000 I gotta be like, hey guys.

01:58:54.000 I go like, hey guys.

01:58:55.000 And they're all here with my accent. 1.00

01:58:56.000 They're like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:58:57.000 Yeah, you gotta get somebody. 1.00

01:58:58.000 Sam comes out.

01:58:59.000 I do my set.

01:59:00.000 And even before my set, I see Adam Eaget and I'm like, oh, that's the Adam Eaget.

01:59:05.000 Because I read about him in, no, Brody, Stephen Brody Stevens in his special always says Adam Eaget like seven times.

01:59:12.000 So I remember that name.

01:59:13.000 Adam Eaget.

01:59:14.000 Adam Eaget trying to hold me down.

01:59:17.000 This is my shot! 0.99

01:59:20.000 And he's back there and I'm like, oh shit, he actually... 0.97

01:59:24.000 Dude, I'm 12 years into this and to see a talent manager or scout or whatever, to actually watch your set... 0.98

01:59:32.000 He's actually rare.

01:59:33.000 Well, the story with me and Adam is, Adam was, he used to work at the Tempe Improv, and that's where I met him, and he was always a great guy.

01:59:41.000 And then he came over to L.A. and started working at the Comedy Store when I had left.

01:59:47.000 So I had left after the Carlos Mencia thing.

01:59:49.000 I was gone for seven years.

01:59:50.000 So I was doing the improv, I was doing the Ice House, I was doing other clubs.

01:59:54.000 And so then he came and met me.

01:59:58.000 I think it was like 2014. Yeah, 2014. So seven years after 2007 now.

02:00:04.000 And I was like, come on.

02:00:06.000 I'm the talent coordinator now.

02:00:08.000 They got rid of the other guy.

02:00:10.000 And I was like, oh, I don't know, man.

02:00:11.000 I don't know if I want to go back. 0.98

02:00:13.000 It's just like, I just felt so fucked over. 0.99

02:00:16.000 The whole thing was so gross. 1.00

02:00:17.000 It was like, fuck that place. 1.00

02:00:18.000 But then Ari was doing his special there. 1.00

02:00:22.000 Ari Shaffir? 0.57

02:00:22.000 Yeah, I knew I had to be there. 0.57

02:00:24.000 So I had to go back.

02:00:25.000 So I went back Monday night before Ari or whatever night Roast Battle was at. 0.98

02:00:31.000 And I sat in the audience at Roast Battle.

02:00:33.000 It was insane.

02:00:34.000 It was insane.

02:00:36.000 Jeff Ross said this is like my first time at the club in seven years and like it was that was a cool feeling like to be like I felt comfortable there again.

02:00:44.000 And then I watched Ari. 0.97

02:00:47.000 I have to be there for Ari.

02:00:49.000 I mean, this is not just Ari's first big special on Comedy Central, but it's also Ari, my friend, who I knew who was a doorman.

02:01:01.000 Okay, when I was on, I guess I was on either News Radio or Fear Factor.

02:01:04.000 I don't know what TV show I was on at the time I met Ari.

02:01:06.000 It might have been Fear Factor.

02:01:08.000 But all of a sudden, I'm hanging out with this kid, this young kid just starting out, and then we become friends, and he goes on the road with me, and we work together, we do podcasts together, and then all of a sudden, all these years later, he's got his own fucking Comedy Central special, and he's got his own Comedy Central TV show, 0.92

02:01:24.000 which is one of the reasons why they gave him a special, and he's filming it in the fucking OR. I'm like, I have to be there. 0.93

02:01:30.000 I had to be there.

02:01:32.000 And so then I came back.

02:01:34.000 And so then I was there all the time.

02:01:35.000 Then I just started going, like, every day.

02:01:37.000 I was there all the time.

02:01:38.000 Well, yeah, we heard about it on the podcast all the time.

02:01:40.000 I just went back, full on.

02:01:42.000 And then Adam and I started talking.

02:01:44.000 And one of the things we started talking, I was like, what do you want?

02:01:47.000 Do you want to do?

02:01:48.000 He felt, you know, a little bit underpaid.

02:01:50.000 I go, what do you want to do?

02:01:52.000 Like, what would be the ideal way?

02:01:55.000 To open up a club.

02:01:56.000 We start talking about what to do.

02:01:58.000 We start talking about what is really important.

02:02:02.000 What's really important is like a talent coordinator is a lot of times it's just the manager picking headliners to come in for the weekend.

02:02:10.000 Or some insane girlfriend of the owner. 1.00

02:02:13.000 Yeah, so this is the difference.

02:02:14.000 The difference is, I think there's probably different kinds of classifications for what kind of clubs they are.

02:02:20.000 Our club is a development club.

02:02:22.000 Absolutely.

02:02:23.000 It's not just a club for great headliners like when Colin Quinn is here or Dice is here.

02:02:28.000 It's a club for developing.

02:02:29.000 So we said, okay, how many nights a week should we have open mic night?

02:02:32.000 And we said, two.

02:02:33.000 Let's do Sunday and Monday.

02:02:35.000 So two nights, full open mic night.

02:02:37.000 And then it was Adam's idea to have door people audition with their act.

02:02:43.000 And I was like, you know what? 0.99

02:02:44.000 Dork guys fucked off so much at the comedy store. 1.00

02:02:47.000 They were so bad at doing certain things. 1.00

02:02:50.000 They were scamming money and getting people to bribe them, which we've had that too.

02:02:55.000 But that's normal, right?

02:02:57.000 You know, you've got to...

02:02:58.000 These are comedians, dude.

02:03:00.000 Yeah, wild people.

02:03:02.000 But the door people at the mothership are so much better than any of the door people at the comedy store.

02:03:08.000 And I think part of it is because there is this ethic there that we're all the same thing.

02:03:14.000 We're all together.

02:03:15.000 We're all the same.

02:03:15.000 We all hang out together at Mitzi's Bar.

02:03:17.000 We're all the exact same thing.

02:03:19.000 Just some of us have been doing it 30 years.

02:03:20.000 Some of us have been doing it 12 years.

02:03:22.000 Some of us have been doing it 5 years.

02:03:24.000 Some of us moved here because they did a few open mic nights.

02:03:27.000 It's the only thing they ever loved in their life.

02:03:29.000 It's the only thing they ever wanted to do in their life. 0.88

02:03:31.000 And they're like, God damn it, I want to be in Austin.

02:03:32.000 And then they moved there, and they got a job there. 0.98

02:03:34.000 And their act is what gets them the job.

02:03:36.000 And if you could string together a few minutes, and you could show that you could get those sparks going and...

02:03:41.000 Make a little campfire?

02:03:43.000 Okay.

02:03:43.000 Let's see how much better you get at making campfires.

02:03:47.000 Let's see.

02:03:47.000 Let's see what you can do.

02:03:48.000 And that's the difference between that club and everywhere else.

02:03:51.000 And it all goes all the way up to the very top.

02:03:54.000 Whether it's Shane or Tony or anybody who's working on their act and working on new stuff, you see them.

02:03:59.000 You see Bryan Simpson constantly.

02:04:01.000 Ron White, sharper than he's ever been.

02:04:04.000 Assassin.

02:04:05.000 He's a thousand years old.

02:04:07.000 Ron White was born before there was feet.

02:04:10.000 People still had fins.

02:04:12.000 He's an animal.

02:04:13.000 He's better than he's ever been before.

02:04:14.000 Yeah.

02:04:15.000 We were driving to your special in San Antonio.

02:04:17.000 He picked me up from my house, and I'm like, I'm in the car with Ron White, and he's just talking about DMT doing 90 miles an hour all the way sideways.

02:04:26.000 He's like, Ari, there's another world out there.

02:04:29.000 I'm like, we're doing 90 in this one, though.

02:04:33.000 Ron's in the simulation, for sure.

02:04:35.000 But also, like I was saying about you, he also, you might think that this guy will come to the club and be a superstar.

02:04:43.000 No.

02:04:43.000 He comes in and works on his act.

02:04:46.000 Talks about bits.

02:04:47.000 Yeah.

02:04:48.000 We hang out.

02:04:49.000 Having a panic attack, just like I am.

02:04:50.000 And he loves when a bit bombs. 0.98

02:04:52.000 He comes back, well, that fucking didn't work at all. 0.98

02:04:54.000 At all. 0.97

02:04:54.000 He's trying to explain to us why this bit bombs. 0.97

02:04:58.000 He goes, that fucking sucked. 0.99

02:05:02.000 Yeah, they weren't my favorite. 0.99

02:05:04.000 But he's two things.

02:05:07.000 One, he's the reason why I moved here.

02:05:08.000 Because he was the first guy.

02:05:10.000 He was here before the pandemic.

02:05:11.000 But he's from Texas.

02:05:12.000 Yes.

02:05:13.000 So he moved here.

02:05:14.000 I was like, where have you been?

02:05:15.000 Because I knew he still had his house in Beverly Hills.

02:05:17.000 I'm going to get rid of my house in Beverly Hills.

02:05:19.000 I'm going to live down here in Texas.

02:05:20.000 And so he said it was the center of the country.

02:05:24.000 You could travel anywhere. 0.99

02:05:25.000 And I was like, damn, maybe. 0.99

02:05:27.000 But I'm like, I can't live there. 0.99

02:05:30.000 Because I was always wanting to get the fuck out of LA, but I can't leave the store. 0.93

02:05:33.000 But once they shut the store down, I was like, oh, all right. 0.99

02:05:36.000 Well, what the fuck am I here for? 0.99

02:05:37.000 The crime? 0.99

02:05:38.000 What am I here for if I'm not here for the store?

02:05:41.000 And you're not doing movies?

02:05:42.000 Yeah.

02:05:43.000 I don't want my youngest kids to grow up in this place.

02:05:45.000 It seems like it's getting worse.

02:05:46.000 And I also felt like there's better places to be.

02:05:49.000 And so when we all came out here together, it's like...

02:05:55.000 Especially when we first started talking about the developing of the club, the whole idea was like, let's do it our way.

02:06:02.000 Let's do it the right way.

02:06:03.000 As opposed to doing it as a business, let's do it as like, what are you trying to do?

02:06:08.000 You're just trying to make the best club possible.

02:06:10.000 Okay, well then do that.

02:06:11.000 And then the business stuff, put that aside.

02:06:15.000 You got to stop.

02:06:16.000 Don't think about maximizing profits because there's only one shareholder.

02:06:20.000 So let's just do it the right way.

02:06:22.000 And the right way is the comedians get most of the money.

02:06:24.000 The right way is you bring the best people in.

02:06:26.000 The right way is you develop talent.

02:06:28.000 The right way is you have a show like Kill Tony that sets its tone for the entire comedy universe.

02:06:34.000 It sets the tone. 0.97

02:06:35.000 And then guys like you can get on that stage, crack some fucking great bits, and then bam. 0.99

02:06:41.000 It's crazy. 0.99

02:06:42.000 You're off to the races.

02:06:43.000 And I kind of feel like, because I'm a big book guy, I've read everything about the Comedy Store, everything about the history of the industry, Late Night Wars, David Letterman moving, Johnny Carson moving from New York to the Burbank location.

02:06:56.000 I know everything.

02:06:57.000 And I kind of feel like I'm living the gold rush that was in the 80s and 90s in Comedy Store.

02:07:04.000 I kind of feel like I'm living that right now.

02:07:06.000 This one's crazier.

02:07:07.000 Well, yeah.

02:07:08.000 This one's crazier, because this one people are doing arenas.

02:07:10.000 I mean, we're doing Kill Tony this weekend in Madison Square Garden.

02:07:12.000 There's two nights.

02:07:13.000 Two nights in New York City.

02:07:15.000 Sold out Madison Square Garden.

02:07:17.000 This is Tony's and Red Band's coming out party.

02:07:20.000 This is the big deal.

02:07:21.000 This is the big deal.

02:07:22.000 They sold this out quick.

02:07:23.000 Quick.

02:07:23.000 You know?

02:07:23.000 And it's a beautiful thing to see.

02:07:26.000 It's a beautiful thing to see everybody flourishing.

02:07:28.000 And this idea that we had actually work.

02:07:31.000 It's actually coming to fruition.

02:07:33.000 You're amazing, yeah.

02:07:35.000 It's crazy, yeah.

02:07:36.000 And to have you guys, to have you, Tony, and Ron there when I was filming that thing also.

02:07:42.000 So the green room was just like regular green room.

02:07:45.000 Regular ass green room. 0.62

02:07:46.000 Right? 0.95

02:07:46.000 So we're used to hanging out, having fun, laughing, being fun, and just like being silly together. 0.95

02:07:51.000 So we're all being silly, so I was just super loose.

02:07:54.000 But then also there was that moment where me and you were in your green room and both of us were in our notebooks for about 20 minutes just in silence. 0.98

02:08:03.000 And I remember after thinking like, holy shit, see this is what it's all about. 0.97

02:08:08.000 Yeah. 0.90

02:08:09.000 We're just writing bits and just...

02:08:11.000 You gotta work at it, man.

02:08:13.000 And sometimes we don't.

02:08:15.000 You know?

02:08:15.000 Sometimes we don't.

02:08:16.000 And one of the things that really made me think a lot about this, the live thing, is like, first of all, I said no.

02:08:22.000 When my manager called me and said, do you want to do a live special? 0.99

02:08:24.000 I said, fuck that. 0.99

02:08:25.000 I don't want to do that. 1.00

02:08:26.000 And then as I got off the phone with her, I was driving, and I was like, why did I say no? 1.00

02:08:31.000 Like, why are you such a pussy? 1.00

02:08:32.000 Oh, because you're scared. 1.00

02:08:33.000 You're scared of doing it live.

02:08:35.000 And I was like, oh, why are you scared of doing it live?

02:08:37.000 Like, what is it about?

02:08:37.000 Like, you do everything live.

02:08:38.000 You could do UFC live.

02:08:40.000 Podcasts are essentially, you know, they're recorded, but you're just freewheeling, right?

02:08:46.000 So why can't you do that live?

02:08:47.000 Like, just prepare better.

02:08:48.000 Just prepare more.

02:08:49.000 So I was preparing way more.

02:08:51.000 Oh, yeah, watching you develop that hour was insane.

02:08:54.000 You were working.

02:08:55.000 Dude, also, I've never seen you off.

02:08:58.000 I've seen you in the green room, maybe in a different mood than the other night. 0.99

02:09:01.000 Dude, when you go on stage, it's Rock City every fucking night. 0.99

02:09:06.000 It's crazy to watch. 0.99

02:09:07.000 Well, I've just been preparing this set for quite a while.

02:09:11.000 You know, I thought I was going to do a special in August of 2020. That was the plan.

02:09:16.000 Because I had done a 2018, so I did 2016, was triggered.

02:09:20.000 And then my next Netflix special was 2018. That was Strange Times.

02:09:24.000 And I was going to do one in 2020 and call it Sacred Clown.

02:09:27.000 And it was based on the Lakota Hayoka, was the person in the tribe that made fun of everything. 0.99

02:09:32.000 Because if you couldn't make fun of anything, it was bullshit. 0.95

02:09:34.000 They had like a spiritual person in their tribe. 0.99

02:09:38.000 Their goal was to make fun of everything. 0.94

02:09:40.000 It was a sacred clown.

02:09:42.000 And so I was like, that's perfect.

02:09:43.000 Because that's what it is. 1.00

02:09:44.000 You're just talking shit and making fun of things. 0.99

02:09:45.000 And you should be able to do that about everything. 1.00

02:09:47.000 And everything you can't make fun of is most likely bullshit. 0.99

02:09:49.000 Well, that's your comedy club, dude. 0.99

02:09:51.000 I love that you called your comedy rooms after the two nuclear bombs!

02:09:57.000 But that already shows.

02:09:58.000 There's no rules!

02:09:59.000 There's no rules.

02:10:00.000 It's over!

02:10:01.000 And I was worried about that at first.

02:10:02.000 I was like, God, this is so disrespectful.

02:10:03.000 But that's perfect!

02:10:04.000 That's letting you know there are no rules.

02:10:07.000 Do you know one of the reasons why I decided to definitely call it that?

02:10:09.000 Why?

02:10:09.000 Because I told it to Louis C.K. And he went, Ah!

02:10:13.000 I go, that's it.

02:10:14.000 It has to be that.

02:10:14.000 And also, it's part of UFO folklore.

02:10:17.000 One of the main reasons why I wanted to have them, because I knew I had two rooms and I knew there was two bombs.

02:10:22.000 And it was after those two nuclear bombs were dropped that they started.

02:10:25.000 Kenneth Arnold had his sightings.

02:10:27.000 Roswell, New Mexico had that big sighting.

02:10:29.000 Like, all the big events of UFO folklore happened after the bomb. 0.98

02:10:35.000 And the idea is that these interdimensional beings, they go, okay, these fucking crazy territorial apes have now developed nuclear bombs. 0.97

02:10:45.000 This could be very dangerous. 1.00

02:10:47.000 Because if these idiots arm themselves, as we have right now, to the point where they can blow up the whole world many, many times over... 1.00

02:10:54.000 They might do it. 1.00

02:10:56.000 Let's make sure everything's cool.

02:10:58.000 And so that's when all the UFOs started.

02:11:00.000 So for the Comedy Mothership, we're this UFO-based thing.

02:11:03.000 We kind of had to have those as the name.

02:11:05.000 That's so funny.

02:11:06.000 That's what sends out the signal.

02:11:07.000 Yeah.

02:11:07.000 Those bombs.

02:11:08.000 Fat Man and Little Boy.

02:11:09.000 Those bombs.

02:11:10.000 If you believe, and I love to believe.

02:11:13.000 I don't 100% believe, but I kind of love to believe.

02:11:16.000 I love to at least talk about it.

02:11:18.000 If you believe that we were visited multiple times by alien life and a lot of it happened after 1947, it makes sense.

02:11:26.000 Well, yeah, if the universe is infinite and there's a higher species out there, you would look at Earth and you'd be interested.

02:11:34.000 100%.

02:11:34.000 Who knows what happened at Roswell?

02:11:38.000 So the bombs were 45, Roswell was 47. Who knows what really happened at Roswell?

02:11:43.000 But they do know that whatever they did, they took that wreckage and they flew it in two separate jets to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base because if one of the jets went down, they wanted to make sure they still had the wreckage.

02:11:55.000 They put it in two different jets. 0.99

02:11:57.000 That's how important this shit was, whatever the fuck it was. 1.00

02:11:59.000 Who's that guy, Bob? 1.00

02:12:00.000 Bob Bazar.

02:12:01.000 Who had that crazy story.

02:12:02.000 I just remember one story where he told that there were multiple doors open.

02:12:07.000 It was an act because they were separated or something, where he was working on it.

02:12:10.000 And by accident, he saw the spaceship through the doors. 0.97

02:12:15.000 And I remember being like, holy shit. 0.90

02:12:17.000 Well, he saw it when he went in to see it for the first time it had an American flag sticker on it and his first Inclination was oh, this is why people keep seeing these things. 0.95

02:12:25.000 These are ours But then the way it's described now who knows if it's true, okay?

02:12:31.000 But I love to believe it is and it the way he describes it is like they essentially brought him in said Tell me what this is figure this out.

02:12:39.000 How does this work?

02:12:40.000 What is it and they really never did they kind of got a working understanding of it, but But based on some element that was only theoretical at the time, now been proven by one of the particle colliders, they created this particle.

02:12:53.000 Hydron particle collider, right?

02:12:55.000 Yeah.

02:12:55.000 The one in Switzerland?

02:12:57.000 Yeah, that's where it is, right?

02:12:58.000 That's the...

02:12:59.000 Creating black holes?

02:13:01.000 Yeah, that's the one they're worried about.

02:13:02.000 Cool, cool, bro.

02:13:02.000 I was going to make a black hole that shoots through the Earth.

02:13:04.000 I remember I did mushrooms for the first time and started reading about it.

02:13:06.000 I'm like, great. 1.00

02:13:07.000 That fucking... 1.00

02:13:08.000 Those super nerds are going to kill us all. 1.00

02:13:10.000 But they did discover that this element that Bob Lazar theorized exists.

02:13:18.000 But then what I've heard is like they already knew that that was going to be an element.

02:13:21.000 So him saying that there's a lot of things like the Higgs boson.

02:13:25.000 There's a lot of things that they knew existed, but they needed to get proof of it through the particle colliders.

02:13:30.000 And so a lot of people aren't that impressed with that.

02:13:33.000 He said they had a stable isotope.

02:13:36.000 They had a stable version of this element and this is what powered this generator.

02:13:40.000 And this stable version of this element would sit inside of this container and it would be bombarded with radiation and it would somehow or another manipulate gravity.

02:13:51.000 It's the wildest story ever, the most fun story ever.

02:13:55.000 Yeah.

02:13:55.000 But he essentially said they were trying for years to try to figure out how to reproduce it, and they couldn't figure out how it worked.

02:14:03.000 They did a bunch of different things.

02:14:04.000 One guy died, apparently, trying to cut into it. 1.00

02:14:06.000 Holy shit. 0.99

02:14:07.000 Yeah, that was the guy before him, apparently. 0.99

02:14:09.000 Yeah.

02:14:10.000 Yeah, and then there was the wackiest thing of all's that we talked about this yesterday.

02:14:14.000 They said that they had a big thing on religion and one of the things that they said that they look at us as containers.

02:14:21.000 Yeah, and it's like that religion was here so that we don't damage what's inside the container.

02:14:27.000 The religion was put here to give people rules and regulations so they could fall so they don't destroy their souls.

02:14:33.000 So like they're just harvesting our souls.

02:14:35.000 Yeah.

02:14:35.000 And making sure our souls don't go rotten.

02:14:36.000 Because we would be just sucking and fucking and sucking. 1.00

02:14:39.000 Right. 1.00

02:14:39.000 No, imagine that. 1.00

02:14:40.000 If that's what happens, that's how they trick you into downloading your brain into a computer.

02:14:44.000 That's it.

02:14:44.000 That's the end result.

02:14:45.000 They're just trying to get that soul.

02:14:47.000 And then you are just trapped, and that's what hell really is.

02:14:51.000 Just stuck on a hard drive with nothing there.

02:14:54.000 Imagine living your whole life being paralyzed, but you don't need food or water, but you're lying on the floor of an empty office building.

02:15:04.000 That's you inside a computer forever.

02:15:06.000 In the void.

02:15:07.000 Ah!

02:15:08.000 And they don't download anybody else on your hard drive either.

02:15:10.000 Because if they have other people on that hard drive, it'll ruin the hard drive.

02:15:13.000 We can't have your code and my code mixing together.

02:15:15.000 Oh, come on here. 0.98

02:15:17.000 Yeah, we're in a weird time, my brother.

02:15:19.000 We're in a weird time because...

02:15:22.000 The reason why comedy, as you were saying earlier, is like, this kind of comedy is like the most prevalent comedy.

02:15:28.000 Because the only one you could actually be free and do.

02:15:31.000 You can't make Tropic Thunder anymore.

02:15:33.000 You can't make, you know, there's...

02:15:36.000 There'll be a movie.

02:15:37.000 It's a pendulum, you know?

02:15:38.000 Culture is always a pendulum.

02:15:40.000 There'll be some dude.

02:15:41.000 There'll be the new Andrew Dice Clay.

02:15:43.000 There'll be the new Tropic Thunder.

02:15:45.000 There'll be the new Superbad.

02:15:46.000 I hope so.

02:15:47.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:15:48.000 I hope so.

02:15:49.000 Because as soon as something is like 51% of popular opinion, the 49% becomes cool.

02:15:59.000 The rebellion becomes cool.

02:16:00.000 Yeah, but it won't even be popular opinion.

02:16:02.000 The popular opinion is almost 100% that they would want Tropic Thunder.

02:16:06.000 You know, real popular opinion amongst people who go to see those films.

02:16:11.000 Let me say it that way.

02:16:11.000 Because popular opinion amongst people who don't go see Superbad, what difference does it make?

02:16:17.000 But the people that do go see those movies and do enjoy those movies would go to see one right now.

02:16:21.000 Most of them.

02:16:23.000 But there's always but but yeah, but and that's why I always be there's so much fun in rebellion and breaking the rules and the more I always thought I think the stronger a line is the more power you have of crossing it, you know, right?

02:16:37.000 Right, right, right.

02:16:37.000 So I just don't think the line is real I think the line is a small very vocal minority of people and The majority of people know what jokes are yeah, but you can't finance these things anymore.

02:16:49.000 Oh But then again, if it's all no rules and no like, if you don't get a reaction, then it doesn't have any power, you know? 0.96

02:16:56.000 It's like when Tony, we were just talking in the green room, when Tony Hinchcliffe said faggot on Netflix at the Tom Brady roast. 0.98

02:17:03.000 That's like... 0.98

02:17:04.000 If you're a culture nerd, that's like a cultural moment.

02:17:08.000 Right. 1.00

02:17:08.000 We call him a Confederate fag. 1.00

02:17:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:17:10.000 Because he's saying something that unanimously five years ago was the line. 0.99

02:17:18.000 Yeah.

02:17:18.000 But now...

02:17:19.000 The line's moved.

02:17:20.000 It doesn't even move, but people dance around the line and it gives it power.

02:17:24.000 Because if you create a line, you're going to create people who are going to dance around it.

02:17:28.000 Give them...

02:17:29.000 Yeah, but no.

02:17:30.000 We didn't agree to the line.

02:17:31.000 But the thing is, that line only existed in corporate-controlled media and existed in virtue-signaling internet people.

02:17:39.000 But that's the power of the release.

02:17:41.000 Right.

02:17:41.000 But that line didn't exist amongst friends.

02:17:43.000 Oh.

02:17:44.000 That's why.

02:17:45.000 Off the record talk?

02:17:45.000 Yeah.

02:17:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:17:46.000 Real shit talk, that line never existed. 0.99

02:17:49.000 Retard was on the table. 1.00

02:17:50.000 Retard has never left the table. 1.00

02:17:52.000 Never left the table.

02:17:52.000 Especially in quiet company when you're alone.

02:17:54.000 What's going on with your brother? 1.00

02:17:56.000 Dude, he's fucking retarded. 1.00

02:17:58.000 I can't talk to him. 1.00

02:17:59.000 He doesn't listen.

02:18:00.000 That's normal talk.

02:18:01.000 Normal talk.

02:18:01.000 We know what that means.

02:18:02.000 And the idea that we're supposed to back off these words because a select minority of very vocal people who are like super sensitive and probably medicated, like, no.

02:18:14.000 No, don't listen.

02:18:16.000 Like, no, don't watch that movie.

02:18:18.000 No, don't go to see that stand-up.

02:18:20.000 You don't have to like everything.

02:18:21.000 There's a lot I don't like that other people love.

02:18:24.000 And guess what?

02:18:25.000 I'm fine with that.

02:18:26.000 I like it.

02:18:27.000 I like the fact there's a variety of different human beings.

02:18:30.000 It's a fun part of being a human.

02:18:32.000 Yeah.

02:18:32.000 It's fun.

02:18:33.000 Yeah.

02:18:35.000 That's the beauty of true diversity.

02:18:39.000 One of the things that's great about the club is the lineup is actually very diverse, but not because we wanted it to be diverse.

02:18:48.000 We wanted people who are really good. 0.89

02:18:50.000 Killers. 1.00

02:18:50.000 And they come in all fucking sizes and shapes. 1.00

02:18:54.000 Fire cameraman? 1.00

02:18:56.000 Yeah, fat gay guys, small fucking porn addicts. 1.00

02:19:01.000 They're all over the place. 1.00

02:19:03.000 They're all over the place.

02:19:05.000 Everybody's different.

02:19:06.000 And that's good.

02:19:07.000 That's good for everybody.

02:19:09.000 And it's like, we speak this language, we're here for this art form, everything else is fine.

02:19:14.000 Like, you just be a nice person.

02:19:16.000 Be nice to us, we're nice to you, we're nice to each other.

02:19:18.000 We're all gonna grow.

02:19:19.000 From this experience.

02:19:20.000 We're all gonna be better people because of this.

02:19:22.000 We're all gonna be better members of our community.

02:19:24.000 We're creating a community.

02:19:26.000 Also, there are nights at the Little Boy because of the yonder banks and stuff.

02:19:31.000 I'll say some stuff.

02:19:32.000 Yeah, you get a little wild.

02:19:33.000 That I know is not leaving this room.

02:19:35.000 Right.

02:19:35.000 And the release you see in the people where...

02:19:38.000 They're laughing so hard. 0.99

02:19:39.000 There's like a 40-year-old guy with his wife, and he's like, I can't believe this European fuck is saying this is not okay. 0.99

02:19:49.000 But that's so fun. 0.99

02:19:51.000 Right, but then there's a lot of people that are laughing really hard.

02:19:53.000 No, no, no.

02:19:54.000 But he's also laughing because it's not okay.

02:19:57.000 But it is okay.

02:19:58.000 It is okay.

02:19:59.000 Here.

02:20:00.000 It should be okay everywhere.

02:20:01.000 It's okay in private company, right?

02:20:03.000 Oh, absolutely.

02:20:03.000 Off the record talk.

02:20:04.000 Off the record talk.

02:20:05.000 Yeah.

02:20:05.000 It should be okay.

02:20:06.000 And this art form requires that you do that.

02:20:09.000 It does.

02:20:10.000 It doesn't require you have to do it.

02:20:12.000 There's guys like, you know, Brian Regan, who are brilliant.

02:20:15.000 Jim Gaffigan, brilliant.

02:20:17.000 Brilliant.

02:20:17.000 Gaffigan's brilliant.

02:20:18.000 You never have to worry about him offending you, right?

02:20:24.000 His stuff is sweet and clean.

02:20:26.000 Nate Bargatze.

02:20:26.000 Perfect example.

02:20:27.000 Nate's genius.

02:20:29.000 Genius.

02:20:29.000 Brilliant.

02:20:30.000 You can talk about table.

02:20:31.000 Squeaky clean.

02:20:32.000 Yeah.

02:20:32.000 Those guys have always existed and those guys are us too.

02:20:35.000 It's fine.

02:20:36.000 It's like no one dislikes Sebastian.

02:20:39.000 You know?

02:20:40.000 Everyone loves Sebastian.

02:20:41.000 He was just at the club last night.

02:20:42.000 Yeah, I brought him up.

02:20:43.000 Amazing.

02:20:43.000 He's the best.

02:20:44.000 He's the nicest guy too.

02:20:45.000 I love him.

02:20:45.000 He talks about his mole infestation.

02:20:48.000 And how he likes to cook.

02:20:50.000 This is how I cook a steak.

02:20:51.000 You ever get a guy?

02:20:55.000 He's awesome.

02:20:55.000 I actually just got a message from one of my friends.

02:20:57.000 They said they saw him at the club last night and he was brilliant.

02:21:00.000 But like the point is like everybody's different.

02:21:02.000 That's great.

02:21:03.000 That's great.

02:21:04.000 Boy, girl, gay, straight, everybody.

02:21:07.000 There's a bunch.

02:21:07.000 All you have to do is be good.

02:21:09.000 That's it.

02:21:09.000 And you don't get any brownie points for your group if you're not good.

02:21:13.000 Okay?

02:21:13.000 If you want to come on just because you're this or that, guess what?

02:21:17.000 There's no room for that.

02:21:18.000 You have to be good.

02:21:19.000 All the festivals, comedy festivals, I was a big festival circle because that was where you could get up back in the day.

02:21:25.000 Australia, Edinburgh, JFL, they're all falling apart because they didn't listen to the ripples of laughter.

02:21:33.000 Well, they're doing a different thing.

02:21:35.000 Here's the problem.

02:21:36.000 The people that are doing the festival themselves are not usually like working stand-up comedians.

02:21:43.000 So they're people that exist in the ecosystem that aren't creating the thing.

02:21:48.000 So they know what they like, and they might also apply their own personal politics.

02:21:58.000 I think it's both because I think primarily in show business people are indoctrinated into the cult of leftism.

02:22:10.000 It's almost universal in show business, except for a lot of musicians that kind of keep it undercover.

02:22:17.000 But a lot of actors have to keep it undercover, too.

02:22:20.000 Conservative actors just keep their mouth shut, like Chris Pratt-type dudes.

02:22:23.000 They get in trouble every time they talk about Jesus.

02:22:25.000 John Cena talking in Chinese.

02:22:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:22:27.000 Well, that was different.

02:22:28.000 That was a little bit of an apology.

02:22:30.000 I didn't do that bit in my act.

02:22:32.000 But the whole thing about it is that you've got to let people express themselves however they are.

02:22:42.000 What are you?

02:22:45.000 Tyler Fisher is very different than David Lucas.

02:22:48.000 David Lucas is very different than Ron White.

02:22:50.000 Everyone has to be able to express themselves in whatever form they find themselves in going through this life in the best possible way they can.

02:22:57.000 That's what we're setting up to do.

02:22:58.000 But that's like that jazz thing that I was talking about.

02:23:00.000 It's the resonation of the feelings of the story that you're expressing that people gravitate to. 0.98

02:23:05.000 And when you start putting a bullshit agenda out there, I feel it. 0.98

02:23:09.000 I see it. 1.00

02:23:09.000 100%. 1.00

02:23:10.000 I see it. 0.84

02:23:11.000 And the anti-bullshit is that green room.

02:23:14.000 Because the green room is so fun that you go on stage from there with those good vibes.

02:23:19.000 Oftentimes, I'm sad that I have to shut my phone off.

02:23:22.000 You know?

02:23:23.000 I'm like, sad.

02:23:24.000 I gotta go, guys.

02:23:25.000 And I'm like, I'm sad that I have to leave our fun clubhouse.

02:23:28.000 Sometimes I'm sad that I have to go on stage.

02:23:29.000 I know.

02:23:30.000 I'm sad I have to go on stage.

02:23:31.000 I'm not really, but I want to continue the conversation.

02:23:34.000 I know I'm going to have a great time on stage.

02:23:36.000 I'm looking forward to it.

02:23:37.000 But I want to continue the conversation.

02:23:38.000 You know?

02:23:39.000 And then having you guys in the green room with me when I filmed the special was huge, man.

02:23:43.000 It was huge.

02:23:44.000 Because it really was like...

02:23:46.000 I always feel this like...

02:23:47.000 I went camping with Brian Callen once.

02:23:49.000 We went on a deer hunt.

02:23:52.000 And I was like, dude, it's going to be crazy.

02:23:53.000 We're going to go to Montana.

02:23:54.000 It's going to be freezing.

02:23:55.000 It's going to be five degrees outside.

02:23:56.000 We're going to be sleeping on the frozen ground.

02:23:58.000 We're going to go hunt some mule deer in the mountains.

02:24:00.000 You want to do it? 1.00

02:24:00.000 He's like, fuck yeah. 1.00

02:24:01.000 And so we did it. 0.99

02:24:02.000 But I was like, if you and I are together, it'll be fun no matter where we are. 0.97

02:24:05.000 Like, Brian and I could be hanging out in some shitty motel in the middle of Saskatchewan, just laughing our asses off. 0.97

02:24:12.000 Just, ah! 0.95

02:24:13.000 Because we're friends, and we've been friends forever, and so we can have fun together.

02:24:16.000 So no matter how chaotic the situation is, when you have friends with you, it changes what the situation is.

02:24:21.000 So even though that was a live show in front of who knows how many fucking people watching live on Netflix, I was hanging out with you guys.

02:24:31.000 It was normal. 0.98

02:24:31.000 Normal show. 0.98

02:24:32.000 So I just kept myself in normal show mind and just went on stage.

02:24:36.000 It was very cool to learn, like watch you from the side and be like, yeah, you're just doing another set.

02:24:42.000 And also you were so well prepared that you were like the perfect guy to do that live special, you know?

02:24:47.000 You've got to prepare in a different way.

02:24:51.000 There's a thing about archery.

02:24:54.000 Say if you're proficient at 50 yards, you can hit a bullseye on a regular basis at 50 yards.

02:25:01.000 You really should be hunting at about 25 yards.

02:25:05.000 Because at 25 yards, you're shaking, you got adrenaline, there's anxiety, maybe this is a new thing, you know, there's a wild hog moving 50 yards away from you and you're drawing on it, like, oh my god, is this really happening?

02:25:20.000 Like, you probably shouldn't be shooting at 50 yards.

02:25:23.000 If you want to shoot at 50 yards, you should be really proficient at 100 yards, and you should have a bunch of shots already under your belt so that you are accustomed to this experience.

02:25:32.000 So, with comedy, I was like, okay, I know I've done a bunch of live shows, but I can't just go up on stage like this is a regular live show.

02:25:40.000 Like, I've done a bunch of shows in front of a live audience.

02:25:42.000 This is going to be a way different pressure, and if I don't agree to that in my mind, and if I don't address that in my mind, and over-prepare, you let that tiny window of doubt open. 0.96

02:25:55.000 And that little demon of doubt will sneak in and steal your confidence and fuck with your head and give you anxiety and make you start thinking about, what if you bomb? 0.94

02:26:05.000 What if you forget the jokes? 1.00

02:26:07.000 What if you forget what place you're at?

02:26:09.000 What if you forget the line?

02:26:10.000 What if you forget the punchline?

02:26:11.000 What about that new punchline?

02:26:12.000 Are you going to do it?

02:26:13.000 Are you going to forget it?

02:26:13.000 Ah!

02:26:14.000 You could mindfuck yourself. 1.00

02:26:16.000 Or you could just super over-prepare. 1.00

02:26:18.000 So I super over-prepared.

02:26:20.000 I listened to recordings.

02:26:21.000 I watched videos.

02:26:23.000 I wrote for like...

02:26:24.000 I prepared for like five hours the day of the show.

02:26:27.000 I never left my computer.

02:26:29.000 That's how I always feel about writing and writing during the day about comedies.

02:26:34.000 People always go like, oh, you just write an act? 0.73

02:26:36.000 And I go, to be honest, 99% of the shit I write during the day doesn't end up actually working on stage.

02:26:42.000 Most bits still click on stage, but I have to give an energy out to the universe that, listen, I'm preparing for this just so I know that I'm ready when I go on stage. 0.84

02:26:58.000 And even though you can't exactly say that I'm writing the perfect set and it's going to go as I wrote it, But the energy that I put out in the universe is that I'm preparing.

02:27:08.000 Yeah, it's also, that's not the process.

02:27:11.000 The process is you write it exactly as you're going to say it, because you really need to say it in front of an audience to know how to say it.

02:27:16.000 Exactly.

02:27:17.000 And you need to hear it for yourself, too.

02:27:19.000 And you need to actually, the whole thing is it's a framework for you being in the moment talking about that thing, right?

02:27:24.000 And if you can set that framework up well on a piece of paper or on a computer screen, that's great. 0.89

02:27:31.000 But then you review it, and then you keep tweaking it, and you keep fucking with it. 0.83

02:27:35.000 But also if I don't write, I just feel like I'm, why am I not working hard at this? 0.66

02:27:41.000 And that gives me anxiety of being like, because I remember the first lesson in martial arts that I had, the first lesson in my life, we have compulsory military service in Estonia, which I didn't do.

02:27:52.000 I regret it.

02:27:53.000 The only reason I didn't do it is I did sports, and guys who went to do the military service, they ate shit food, got back injuries, came back, and they lost a year in their athletic life, and a year, as you know, in an athletic version, That's huge.

02:28:06.000 So I didn't do that.

02:28:07.000 I regretted that.

02:28:08.000 But the first lesson I got through martial arts was that why I wasn't successful in mixed martial arts wasn't because I'm physically not...

02:28:17.000 I wasn't talented.

02:28:18.000 But the reason I wasn't successful was because I always thought about...

02:28:24.000 I wanted the accolades.

02:28:25.000 I wanted to be the cool guy who gets the head kick, kisses the girl, and is cool.

02:28:31.000 You didn't want to deliver...

02:28:35.000 During jujitsu classes, when Preet is talking about armbar defense, I'd be daydreaming about what song am I going to come out to.

02:28:44.000 That's hilarious.

02:28:45.000 You're a showman.

02:28:47.000 And I would go, this jujitsu is boring, dude.

02:28:51.000 I want to go spar!

02:28:52.000 So I would go to Thai boxing clubs and spar and have fun with my friends.

02:28:56.000 I would build a fake ring in our gym and we would do all the cool stuff that we wanted to do.

02:29:01.000 And then I remember maybe a year later, there was a nerdy guy who started the same year as me.

02:29:07.000 Nerdy, not gifted at all. 0.99

02:29:11.000 A year later, I spar with him, and this fucking nerd is fucking me up with a jab. 0.99

02:29:17.000 But that's because he gave, he had mad time. 0.99

02:29:23.000 We always call, interesting, this expression called mad time.

02:29:26.000 Sure. 0.98

02:29:27.000 Oh, you can be amazing and talented and a fucking beast, but if I do 400 hours and you do 22, No matter, at the end of the day, I'm gonna get you. 0.99

02:29:38.000 Because I have mat time. 0.99

02:29:39.000 Especially with Jiu Jitsu.

02:29:41.000 Especially.

02:29:41.000 But it's also, how much energy are you putting towards a thing?

02:29:46.000 Exactly.

02:29:47.000 That's really what it is.

02:29:48.000 And it wasn't that, and that's what I learned about the whole thing.

02:29:52.000 I was like, Yeah.

02:29:53.000 He was putting energy into the universe and committing to something and putting that out there.

02:29:59.000 And even though… It's also you're looking for a result and he's involved in the process.

02:30:04.000 You have to trust the process.

02:30:06.000 Exactly.

02:30:06.000 That's the process of writing.

02:30:07.000 Exactly.

02:30:08.000 And this is one of the things that I tell comics all the time.

02:30:10.000 They always say I write on stage.

02:30:11.000 I'm like, bro, I do too.

02:30:13.000 I do too.

02:30:13.000 We all do.

02:30:14.000 Especially when you do bottom of the barrel.

02:30:15.000 You always write on stage. 1.00

02:30:17.000 You're fucking around. 1.00

02:30:17.000 I fuck around all the time. 1.00

02:30:18.000 Fuck around all the time. 1.00

02:30:19.000 It's fun to fuck around. 1.00

02:30:20.000 Most of my bits come like this. 1.00

02:30:21.000 Sometimes they do.

02:30:22.000 But also you can write.

02:30:24.000 Yeah.

02:30:24.000 This doesn't hurt you to write.

02:30:25.000 It doesn't hurt you.

02:30:26.000 No.

02:30:26.000 And me preparing for this live special made me really concentrate on like tightening up segways.

02:30:32.000 I didn't want anything to be clunky. 0.97

02:30:34.000 I wanted to like really make sure that I had it fucking polished down. 0.92

02:30:39.000 Jerry Seinfeld had a great quote where he goes like, that a comedian told him, yeah, right on stage, he said, I'll see you in 20 years. 0.97

02:30:46.000 Look, you can write on stage.

02:30:48.000 There was a great article that was out that was about Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock.

02:30:53.000 I think it was in Fortune Magazine.

02:30:55.000 See if you can find it.

02:30:56.000 But it was essentially they were saying, Chris Rock said this best.

02:31:01.000 The guy was going, you know, what do you do during the day?

02:31:04.000 He goes, I don't do nothing, but I do open mics every night.

02:31:07.000 And he said, during the day is where you make your money.

02:31:10.000 At night is when you collect it.

02:31:11.000 Wow.

02:31:12.000 Look at that.

02:31:13.000 You collect your money at night, but you make it during the day.

02:31:16.000 So true.

02:31:16.000 Because the performance is just a byproduct.

02:31:18.000 It's a great article, and it's the perfect mindset, especially coming from a guy like Chris, who's put out Bigger and Blacker, and was the other one that was like, it's too...

02:31:31.000 There's two great ones when he first came.

02:31:33.000 What was the other one?

02:31:36.000 Bring the Pain.

02:31:37.000 Bring the Pain.

02:31:38.000 Those two are some of the greatest comedy specials in the history of the world.

02:31:43.000 And that guy, man, listen to him. 0.99

02:31:46.000 Whatever the fuck he has to say. 0.99

02:31:47.000 He used to come to the Comedy Store and he had a very unique strategy. 1.00

02:31:50.000 He would come to the Comedy Store with premises, And like ideas that he had, but he did not have them worked out. 1.00

02:31:55.000 And he would just eat shit. 0.99

02:31:57.000 Like try to eat, like try. 1.00

02:31:59.000 Like let it be, like let there be like some blank spots.

02:32:03.000 Let there be some dead air and force himself to come up with the funny and find the funny.

02:32:08.000 And then you'd see it revised the next night.

02:32:11.000 That was what they said about Pryor.

02:32:13.000 They said Pryor would show up at Tuesday.

02:32:16.000 With a bunch of ideas for bits and they would bomb.

02:32:20.000 And then on Wednesday they might bomb a little less.

02:32:23.000 And then on Thursday they would start kicking. 0.99

02:32:26.000 And then Friday came along and he was in the main room murdering with some shit that he came up with on Tuesday. 0.99

02:32:32.000 But that's because those guys aren't scared to stare down the bull. 0.99

02:32:36.000 Right, right.

02:32:37.000 Because a lot of guys get their first 20 and they're so scared of letting it go because it was so hard.

02:32:44.000 So hard.

02:32:45.000 And it's hard.

02:32:47.000 People always say, oh, it's hard to be an open mic.

02:32:49.000 No, bro.

02:32:50.000 It's hard to be Chris Rock.

02:32:52.000 It's hard to be an open mic too.

02:32:54.000 No, it is, but what I mean is that...

02:32:55.000 Oh, it's hard.

02:32:56.000 It may be harder to be an open-miker because you don't know what the path is.

02:32:59.000 Like, you don't even know how to get funny.

02:33:00.000 But what I mean by that is that the open-miker... 0.82

02:33:02.000 How many guys did...

02:33:04.000 When you started comedy, how many guys did you know who were so much funnier than you?

02:33:08.000 Just because they played poker without chips on the table, they would show up on their terms, go on on their favorite room, do their favorite material.

02:33:17.000 They would have a couple of drinks.

02:33:19.000 But they would then disappear when...

02:33:22.000 And then when they get the weekend and it's Thursday, you've got to be funny at 8 o'clock.

02:33:27.000 Friday, you've got to be funny at 7 and 10. They would kind of fall apart because they're only playing poker by their rules when they're comfortable with their friends in their favorite rooms.

02:33:38.000 But can you be a professional five times a week?

02:33:42.000 Also, when you feel uncomfortable going to this new place and then you know you have to do a long time, Do you have the stamina to keep that party mind going on for 45, 50 minutes?

02:33:52.000 A lot of freeballing.

02:33:54.000 A lot of freeballing.

02:33:55.000 Freeballing is fine if you're doing 15 minutes.

02:33:57.000 Absolutely.

02:33:57.000 You don't worry about it.

02:33:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:33:59.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:33:59.000 It's on your terms.

02:34:00.000 It's a different thing.

02:34:01.000 It's on your terms, you know?

02:34:02.000 Yeah.

02:34:02.000 Well, I think if you're going to prepare for a special, you have to do a lot of hours.

02:34:07.000 I don't really think you could get away with...

02:34:08.000 Unless you're a guy who does a lot of non-sequiturs, maybe you could piece together like three or four sets and then put them together for one night.

02:34:17.000 Because if you know how they go, you could do that, like if you're working in New York City, but there's no substitute for those long-ass sets, man.

02:34:25.000 Yeah, absolutely.

02:34:26.000 And there's different types of comedians that have a different process.

02:34:28.000 Absolutely.

02:34:29.000 There's no right way of doing it.

02:34:31.000 But are you staring down the bull of your own fears, you know?

02:34:35.000 Right.

02:34:35.000 Whereas some guys maybe might not benefit from writing during the day.

02:34:39.000 I get that.

02:34:39.000 But are you maybe overlooking some...

02:34:43.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:34:43.000 Everybody benefits from writing during the day.

02:34:44.000 Yeah, that's what I think.

02:34:45.000 I don't believe that.

02:34:46.000 I don't believe that.

02:34:47.000 I believe even the greats.

02:34:48.000 Even the greats who don't do it, if they did it, they'd be even better.

02:34:51.000 And I think that because of my own personal experience with writing a lot.

02:34:55.000 Absolutely.

02:34:56.000 When I started, I remember that was exactly the murderers around me who were a bit ahead of me.

02:35:01.000 During the day, they would all have these talks and they would all be like, what is the path and the energy and what is the comedy?

02:35:10.000 What is it? 0.92

02:35:11.000 But the whole time, I'm just writing basic hacky anecdotes because I'm fucking two years in. 0.94

02:35:17.000 Of course, I'm writing basic hacky anecdotes. 0.97

02:35:19.000 But I remember from sports, because they all came from either fucking bars or artistic or theater. 0.95

02:35:27.000 I came from sports where it's like, no, no, show up for practice. 0.99

02:35:30.000 I don't give a fuck if it's your off day. 0.99

02:35:32.000 Listen, if your leg hurts, don't kick as hard. 0.99

02:35:35.000 But just be there.

02:35:36.000 Be cognitively in the process.

02:35:38.000 You're putting energy into the universe.

02:35:40.000 And the way the universe has always worked is if you put energy out, Something's coming back.

02:35:47.000 I've never known a comedian who has been working hard, honestly, for 10 years and hasn't made it.

02:35:54.000 I've never known a guy.

02:35:55.000 If they have it.

02:35:56.000 If they have the spark.

02:35:57.000 But there have been some people that somehow or another snuck through in some bizarre way that are still there.

02:36:02.000 Yeah, but... 0.98

02:36:03.000 Even that is a true testament of if you just fucking... 0.94

02:36:06.000 Right, but what... 0.98

02:36:07.000 Yeah, but we can talk about that later.

02:36:09.000 It's not important to be negative.

02:36:11.000 But yeah, you're right.

02:36:12.000 It's like if you...

02:36:13.000 I always say to people that are funny at all, like if you do an open mic night and you make me laugh, I'm like, you have the hardest part down.

02:36:19.000 You're funny.

02:36:20.000 So true.

02:36:20.000 Now just keep going.

02:36:22.000 Now just keep working at it.

02:36:23.000 And the more time you spend working on it in every realm, whether the more sets you do, the more recordings you listen to, the more writing you sit in front of your notepad.

02:36:30.000 Yeah.

02:36:31.000 Write.

02:36:32.000 Sit down.

02:36:32.000 Come up with ideas.

02:36:33.000 Mess around.

02:36:35.000 Like, go over some of your old notes.

02:36:36.000 You should have old notes.

02:36:37.000 You should have, like, an orphan baby folder.

02:36:40.000 So they're orphaned jokes of mine. 0.99

02:36:42.000 You know, the thing about writing, they always say, kill your babies. 0.98

02:36:45.000 You know, for editing. 0.96

02:36:47.000 It's hard for writers.

02:36:48.000 It's hard for anybody who's a creative person.

02:36:50.000 They create something, you don't want to let it go.

02:36:52.000 I have a whole folder of orphaned babies.

02:36:54.000 And I go back to that folder every now and then.

02:36:56.000 Maybe I need to talk about that again.

02:36:59.000 Maybe I'll find a new way.

02:37:00.000 And so you always have some fertile land to till.

02:37:03.000 And that's only from writing.

02:37:05.000 If you don't write, then you're just stuck with what's in your mind right now.

02:37:10.000 And what's in your mind right now is probably pretty good.

02:37:13.000 A lot of guys do very well with what's in their mind right now, especially they do a lot of sets.

02:37:16.000 But you're really better off if you also spend some more time working on the ideas in silence by yourself.

02:37:22.000 Just sit there.

02:37:23.000 Sit there and every now and then you come up with some of my best lines.

02:37:27.000 I've come up with that way.

02:37:28.000 Exactly.

02:37:29.000 Just out of nowhere.

02:37:31.000 And then the most magical, dude, I had that at Little Boy on Tuesday doing Bottom of the Barrel where I pull out a subject And there's like a shelf in my mind that was there.

02:37:44.000 I put a topic there seven, eight years ago.

02:37:48.000 Ah, and then you remember it.

02:37:50.000 I just put it there. 1.00

02:37:51.000 And I never even thought about it because it was so stupid. 1.00

02:37:54.000 And then it comes out of bottom of the barrel. 1.00

02:37:56.000 Bubble.

02:37:56.000 Like a little gift from the universe.

02:37:58.000 Then I go to the green room.

02:37:59.000 I write it out. 0.99

02:38:00.000 Go straight to fat man murder. 0.99

02:38:02.000 Ah! 0.98

02:38:04.000 Yeah, that's the beautiful thing about that place.

02:38:06.000 It really is a true place where you can develop.

02:38:10.000 I'm taking a couple weeks off, but I'll be back.

02:38:12.000 Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

02:38:13.000 It's crazy.

02:38:14.000 I need to just relax a little.

02:38:17.000 You know, the first time I saw you was in Australia.

02:38:20.000 I know, yeah, we're talking about that.

02:38:21.000 Comics Lounge, Melbourne.

02:38:22.000 Yeah.

02:38:23.000 One of the door guys, Tim, was a good friend of mine, and he writes me during the day, hey, Tony Hinchcliffe, and this was when, because I told you, this was when Tony, this was fucking eight years ago, he was already good, but he wasn't the heel that he is now.

02:38:38.000 Right.

02:38:39.000 The guy.

02:38:39.000 Right.

02:38:48.000 Right.

02:38:51.000 And Melbourne is a super liberal, you know?

02:38:53.000 The theater.

02:38:54.000 Ah!

02:38:55.000 The release!

02:38:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:38:57.000 There needs to be tension for there to be release.

02:39:00.000 Ah!

02:39:01.000 And I remember my friend Tim writes me and he goes, oh, Joe Rogan and they're coming too.

02:39:06.000 And it was another guy's, it was like an Australian guy's show or something.

02:39:10.000 You know, that's his headlining show.

02:39:12.000 And he was big in Australia, but not like pack out the club, half-papered, older people, you know, it was like a Regular crowd, I would say. 0.99

02:39:22.000 Nothing superstar, rockstar shit. 0.98

02:39:25.000 And all the open micers, all me, everybody gets back into the room to watch you. 0.99

02:39:30.000 Because you're our first famous guy that we've seen drop into that club.

02:39:34.000 And in our head, you know how open micers, we're all haters, dude.

02:39:36.000 We're all like, let's see this American guy bomb, you know? 1.00

02:39:39.000 Because we're all haters at that point.

02:39:40.000 You know, open micers, dude.

02:39:41.000 Oh yeah, I was a hater.

02:39:42.000 Yeah, what do you think, dude?

02:39:44.000 I'm getting two minutes at this club. 0.99

02:39:45.000 What the fuck am I, you know? 0.99

02:39:47.000 So we're all like, oh, how's this? 1.00

02:39:49.000 And you come, they go, from America. 0.95

02:39:51.000 And this was, you had the Jorgen experience.

02:39:53.000 It was, I think, on, you just went from Ustream to YouTube.

02:39:57.000 It was big in the comedy community.

02:40:00.000 But in Australia, pop culture, not that big.

02:40:03.000 You know, you were the fear factor guy, I would say, most.

02:40:05.000 Just looking at the crowd, what they thought of you.

02:40:07.000 And you get a polite, nothing like it would be today.

02:40:10.000 You get a polite applause.

02:40:12.000 And you go out there and it was your triggered set.

02:40:15.000 You did so clever.

02:40:16.000 You did the opener of your hour and the closer, right?

02:40:20.000 Because I saw you the next day in the theater.

02:40:22.000 Dude, you were murdering so hard when you had that Kim Kardashian bit.

02:40:26.000 When you're climbing on a stool, you're kicking off the heels.

02:40:30.000 Sweat was dripping.

02:40:32.000 It was summer in Australia.

02:40:33.000 Sweat was dripping down, I remember.

02:40:36.000 And all of us, like comics in the back are like, this is not a crowd that for who Kim Kardashian is a prevalent pop figure.

02:40:44.000 But your bit was so good that it transcends the reference.

02:40:50.000 It's like me as a young kid watching Dave Chappelle doing Crack Baby.

02:40:53.000 I'm an Estonian white kid in a suburb.

02:40:56.000 What do I know about the corner and the projects?

02:40:59.000 I've never seen a black person.

02:41:03.000 Literally, never!

02:41:04.000 But his talent transcends the reference. 1.00

02:41:09.000 And I remember you were murdering so hard, and that's when I was like, holy fuck. 0.99

02:41:16.000 Because we all thought you're just a famous guy who just does stand up on the side. 1.00

02:41:21.000 And we were like, no, this guy's a murderer.

02:41:24.000 And I remember that poor headliner.

02:41:26.000 I mean, rest in peace.

02:41:30.000 And you were, like, slamming!

02:41:32.000 Well, thanks, brother.

02:41:33.000 Yeah, that was right when I was about to film Triggered.

02:41:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:41:35.000 That shit was tight. 1.00

02:41:36.000 That shit was tight. 1.00

02:41:37.000 And then I remember somebody comes back to me. 1.00

02:41:40.000 They know I smoke weed.

02:41:41.000 They go, Mr. Rogan needs weed.

02:41:44.000 Dun, dun, dun, dun. 0.99

02:41:45.000 And in my head, I'm black. 0.74

02:41:47.000 Didn't we hang out on this little, like, balcony area?

02:41:50.000 So let me tell you about this balcony.

02:41:52.000 Hey, we gotta go, man.

02:41:53.000 I'm sorry, I gotta wrap this up.

02:41:55.000 Let's wrap it up.

02:41:55.000 Let's wrap it up with this.

02:41:56.000 Okay.

02:41:57.000 So you're on the balcony, and I get the weed, and I tell my friend, Tim, see, I'm cool.

02:42:04.000 I'm not gonna talk, and everybody tried to talk to you there.

02:42:07.000 I'm just gonna give you a fist bump on the weed. 1.00

02:42:09.000 I go, I have the weed.

02:42:11.000 Tim grabs the weed.

02:42:13.000 Turns around and just walks away, and in my head I'm like, I wish I could have just given you a fist bump. 1.00

02:42:19.000 But now, nine years later, fuck you Tim! 1.00

02:42:22.000 Fuck you Tim, you hater. 1.00

02:42:24.000 You took his weed. 1.00

02:42:25.000 Yeah, that was fun.

02:42:28.000 It's always cool to go to a different country and see the scene.

02:42:32.000 Melbourne had a pretty good scene.

02:42:32.000 And then you murdered in the theater.

02:42:34.000 7am I see you at the UFC. Holy Holm, Ronda Rousey.

02:42:39.000 Amazing KO. Dude, I go back to bed.

02:42:42.000 I wake up.

02:42:43.000 You're already in LA talking to a scientist engaged. 1.00

02:42:46.000 I'm like, this guy fucking... 0.99

02:42:49.000 That was like a crazy weekend, you know? 1.00

02:42:51.000 Yeah, it's a wild life.

02:42:53.000 Anyway, again, thank you, my brother.

02:42:55.000 Thank you for being at the club.

02:42:56.000 Thanks for being an awesome guy.

02:42:57.000 It's great having you around.

02:42:59.000 Thank you so much.

02:42:59.000 It's great to see you flourish.

02:43:00.000 And if people get a chance to see you live, don't miss it. 0.99

02:43:02.000 Ari is a real killer. 0.97

02:43:03.000 Thank you. 0.97

02:43:04.000 12 years in, and it's beautiful to see you there, man.

02:43:06.000 And thank you very much for being there Friday and Saturday night. 0.87

02:43:08.000 You fucking heard of it. 0.84

02:43:10.000 It meant a lot to me. 0.99

02:43:11.000 It really did.

02:43:12.000 Thank you, brother.

02:43:12.000 All you guys, Ron and Tony, too.

02:43:14.000 That meant so much to me because it was like I was at home.

02:43:17.000 I was like, we're home, no matter where we go. 1.00

02:43:19.000 Fuck yeah, brother. 0.99

02:43:20.000 The club's amazing, thank you so much. 1.00

02:43:21.000 I'll tell everybody your Instagram so they can find you.

02:43:24.000 It's Ari Matty Comedy, R-E-M-A-T-T-I Comedy on Instagram, easiest way.

02:43:28.000 You have a website?

02:43:30.000 No.

02:43:30.000 Building one.

02:43:31.000 Building one?

02:43:31.000 I have an old one, arimatty.com.

02:43:33.000 But if you go to the Instagram, all my dates are there.

02:43:36.000 All right, beautiful.

02:43:37.000 Thank you so much.

02:43:37.000 My pleasure.

02:43:38.000 Bye, everybody.

02:43:38.000 Bye!

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 09, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2186 - Ari Matti

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Transcript