Joe Rogan stopped by to talk about his weekend at the Mothership Comedy Club and how much he loved it. He also talked about his time at the Comedy Store and how he felt about the Joe Rogan Experience. Joe also talks about what it was like to be on stage with his good friend and comedian, Tony Stewart. And of course, he talks about his favorite part of being on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Joe is one of the funniest people I've ever met and I'm sure you'll agree that it was a pleasure to have him on the pod. Thank you Joe for being a part of this journey with me and I hope you have a great rest of your week. XOXO, EJ & JOSH - The Joe Rogans Experience is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. All rights reserved. Used by permission. - Original music written and produced by and by . If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe to our podcast! and tell a friend about what you think of it! We'll be looking out for you in the next episode. Thanks again for listening and sharing it with your friends! - EJ and EJ! Timestamps: 1:00 - 2:30 - What was your favorite moment of the weekend? 3:15 - What did you think about it? 4: What was the craziest part of the show? 5:00 6: What do you think it was? 7:40 - What's your favorite part? 8:00s - What would you want to see me do next? 9:30s - My favorite moment from the weekend so far? 11:40s - Who was the most memorable moment? 12:00 szn 15:00 is the best part of it so far from the night? 16:20s - I m looking forward to doing it again next week? 17:15s 18:00e - I d like to do it again? 19:00k 21:10s - Is it a good one? 20s - How do you like it more? 22s - what s your favorite thing? 21s - my thoughts on it's a good day?
00:00:36.000Seeing him at the Comedy Store, which we've seen him many times, and then at the Mothership now, seeing him in an arena like that go full-on Holtzman is a real treat.
00:00:46.00016,000 people, and he went just like he's in the OR. He opened with Fuck Billy Joel.
00:00:50.000And then he's like, I don't care if you're famous here!
00:00:58.000The surprises on that show, I want to hear from your vantage point real quick, from obviously doing arenas for a while now.
00:01:05.000A show like that, getting to see you for a moment before you walked out backstage and you were just like, it was cool to see you looking at it like, what the fuck?
00:02:05.000Believed in it, and also kept finding ways to evolve it.
00:02:09.000And the more people, you guys coming on, and then you'd see Saget come on, and more and more people started to go, oh, something different to fuck around with, right?
00:02:17.000Yeah, and he just got better at it, too.
00:06:35.000Isn't it though a great, like as much as it like is so fun and so fun, and I want to say this about with Tony too, his openness to go, I am always expanding, not only comp, you know, I want to be involved in exploring, expanding comedy, but the Kill Tony show for Tony to,
00:06:51.000for me to go, Tony, I think Phil on Kill Tony would be fun.
00:08:55.000Lucas said that I looked like, because I was wearing that crazy fur coat and the glasses, he goes, you look like my 11th grade teacher that you catch outside of school.
00:09:13.000Dave, that's another part of the show, too, where it's like there's now been so many established parts that people look forward to, which makes an arena show so exciting for the fans because they're like, wow, I'm going to see surprises and bucket pulls.
00:09:26.000You have so many elements that are spontaneous, right?
00:09:29.000David saying those things was spontaneous in front of 16,000 people and crushing.
00:09:37.000I told them they should do a podcast with just David Lucas and Tony talking shit to each other.
00:09:42.000Because there's compilations on the internet that are like a fucking hour long of just David and Tony just shitting and laughing while they're shitting at each other.
00:09:50.000It's the best light-hearted, shitting-on people I've ever seen from two wizards at it.
00:09:56.000Like, they're casting spells at each other.
00:10:50.000So I knew that it was going to be like, we're in the back, dude, we're in the makeup chairs.
00:10:54.000And I'm shuffling around and Shane's like, what are you doing for the face?
00:10:56.000And I'm like, I kind of got to get the...
00:10:58.000You know the half smile going in like that and then and then I was shuffling around and I did the face a few times he started laughing and then at one point I just look in the mirror and he's just going We locked eyes and we started laughing I go what the fuck are we doing dude?
00:11:14.000Bro he was so in the pocket and which is why we like made each other break a few times when we when we did the mothership because it was like I can't believe we're doing this for two hours Yeah, it's incredible.
00:11:27.000But to run it back in the garden was like, I think, the move too.
00:11:47.000Schultz flew in, I think, from vacay just to be there for that...
00:11:50.000No, he was supposed to be, yeah, he definitely flew in, but he was supposed to be at the beginning, but there was a bunch of flights that got delayed.
00:12:13.000Do you after you know all years of doing this do things like that?
00:12:17.000I don't know like mean a little more to like be able to beat to see that like something like that live or is it like does it give you I don't know a little more juice for just comedy in general to know that like We're in a cool time where shit like that is possible and happening.
00:12:31.000I guess dude, we're in an amazing time It's an amazing time for stand-up If you're funny and you're trying to have fun and just go out there and be silly, people are looking for that right now, man.
00:12:44.000And they're looking for something that rebels against this mind virus.
00:12:49.000It's telling you how to think and behave.
00:13:31.000It's just jokes, like no one's really, especially at our level, like people making those jokes, it's like, because it sounded funny and it like was a, you know, I don't know.
00:13:39.000You know, to each his own and everything's subjective.
00:13:41.000Yeah, but this is what's going on, dude.
00:13:44.000There's always going to be people that wouldn't enjoy it.
00:15:01.000I remember when Opie and Anthony got taken off the air Because they brought on a homeless guy who said some wild shit about Condoleezza Rice, like wanting to rape her or something fucking awful.
00:15:17.000I like that this guy was like, at least in the NOAA enough to know who was like in the government.
00:15:21.000Yeah, but he was just a crazy homeless guy.
00:18:10.000Because now people think you're full of shit.
00:18:12.000And you could have just been actual, just straightforward journalist and been beyond reproach and probably got away with, you wouldn't have got as much money.
00:18:24.000When they got as much money, you gotta get those ads in.
00:18:28.000Do you think that's what they teach to in journal?
00:18:31.000At some point, like, when do you figure out when you're in journalism school or whatever that, like, there is, uh, there's probably obviously a handful of people, more than that, that want to stay, like, You know, authentic and true and really...
00:18:43.000And then at some point you just, what, get an offer to go somewhere or somebody above you goes, dude, you gotta get that story out like, you know, I don't know, and you're trying to get a name for yourself like any sort of sports pundit, right?
00:18:54.000Sometimes they say wacky shit just to get their name out there, but...
00:18:57.000Well, it's good for the business, right?
00:18:59.000So if they write a thing that says, you know, hey, everybody used to like Trump.
00:19:04.000You ever seen videos of Trump on The View with Barbara Walters back when they liked him?
00:20:53.000So, I'm going to take you at your word that you have not decided yet when you're going to run, but you're thinking about it, and you've expressed some of your views, which are controversial, and in many ways, yeah, but I'll...
00:21:38.000I think the country is doing so badly, they want somebody that's going to help it.
00:21:42.000I think the country has never been in a position like it is right now.
00:21:46.000It's being ripped off by every nation, every intelligent nation in the world, whether it's China, they're taking our jobs, they're making all our product, and then they loan us back the money we pay them interest.
00:24:51.000See, the thing about, it's like, Apparently he said that he was in a helicopter with Willie Brown, but it wasn't Willie Brown, it was Joe Brown, it was a different Brown.
00:25:01.000And so, now Willie Brown is saying, that's not true.
00:25:07.000Donald Trump says his money drew Hillary Clinton to his wedding.
00:25:11.000She had no choice because I gave it to a foundation.
00:25:17.000Is that what I just said, is that true?
00:25:24.000Yeah, the Willie Brown thing, Joe Brown thing.
00:25:26.000I think that was like a mistake he made.
00:25:29.000And then people are like, he's old, she's young.
00:25:31.000Like, have you fucking seen her mistakes?
00:25:50.000Is it crazy to, like, I mean, I don't know, do you think it's only gonna get, like, 20 years from now?
00:25:55.000Because the upswing, I guess, of just all social media and media in general, and then also you're taking the people that are, you know, involved, like, it's the perfect mesh of crazy and crazier, right?
00:26:07.000So this says, former Trump executive disputes his claim that Willie Brown was on board, right?
00:26:13.000This is a woman said, Barbara Rez, the Trump organization's former executive vice president of construction development said, former state senator Nate Holden was on the plane, not Brown.
00:26:23.000Was that the same exact helicopter thing?
00:26:26.000So it was a helicopter crash, is that what it was?
00:26:29.000So no Brown was on there, not Willie or Joe?
00:27:08.000And it's just, in this case, I feel like, I don't know if what they're doing right now, the way they're elevating, I don't know if she's ever going to debate him.
00:27:21.000They locked one in, I think, September 10th.
00:27:24.000What is that going to be like when she's off-grid, off-paper?
00:27:53.000But I do have to say that that one speech that she gave, right after they decided that she was going to be the nominee, that one speech where she said, if you're going to say something, why don't you say it to my face?
00:31:30.000Also, it would behoove him to hire a few great comics to just tour with him and just write one-liners about all these different fucking people.
00:31:40.000If he could remember them, I mean, I know he likes to go off his own head, but if he could remember a few Hinchcliffe bangers, if he hires Hinchcliffe to take him on the road.
00:31:50.000Do you know how fucking insane that would be?
00:32:39.000The problem is, that's what we're looking for.
00:32:43.000It's not even necessarily who has the best policies for the country.
00:32:46.000It's not necessarily who's going to make real reform, who's really going to change things and make it better for everybody, versus who looks like the kind of person who should be president, who's talking like a leader.
00:33:42.000And I guarantee you, he probably had an idea in his head that he's going to shit on Biden, had an idea how he's going to do it, but that's like just being a freeballer.
00:35:21.000Every year, Congress and the president sign laws that make us do more things and gives us less money to do it with.
00:35:30.000I see people in my state, middle class people, their taxes have gone up in Washington and their services have gone down, while the wealthy have gotten tax cuts.
00:35:40.000I have seen what's happened in this last four years.
00:35:42.000In my state, when people lose their jobs, there's a good chance I'll know them by their names.
00:35:46.000When a factory closes, I know the people who ran it.
00:35:49.000When the businesses go bankrupt, I know them.
00:35:52.000And I've been out here for 13 months, meeting in meetings just like this, ever since October, with people like you all over America.
00:36:00.000People that have lost their jobs, lost their livelihood, lost their health insurance.
00:36:04.000What I want you to understand is the national debt is not the only cause of that.
00:36:08.000It is because America has not invested in its people.
00:36:13.000It is because we've had 12 years of trickle-down economics.
00:36:17.000We've gone from 1st to 12th in the world in wages.
00:36:19.000We've had 4 years where we produced no private sector jobs.
00:36:23.000Most people are working harder for less money than they were making 10 years ago.
00:36:26.000It is because we are in the grip of a failed economic theory.
00:36:30.000And this decision you're about to make better be about what kind of economic theory you want.
00:36:35.000Not just people saying, I'm going to go fix it, but what are we going to do?
00:36:39.000What I think we have to do is invest in American jobs, American education, control American healthcare costs, and bring the American people together again.
00:37:27.000But what if she came out and her policies were great and she had to say it to my face, but she goes, and she made jokes about like, and you know, we're going to swallow the competition.
00:37:59.000When you saw Arnold in the mix, because I feel like, at least for me, that was because I wasn't, you know, around, obviously, for the Reagan stuff, but, like, to...
00:38:08.000The Arnold was my first taste of, like, oh, anybody can do...
00:38:15.000I mean, it doesn't make sense to us, but if you were someone who grew up during that time when he was a movie star, it's like, you know, Dennis Quaid being the president.
00:40:15.000Like, is that withdrawal or even that come down?
00:40:17.000It's like a shroom come down where you're like, fuck, now you're questioning everything because you're like, you put everything into it, but then is there a weird like, fuck, I didn't have enough to even get close?
00:40:26.000Or do you just go, all right, I gave it a shot and it wasn't my time.
00:40:30.000I mean, it depends entirely on the individual.
00:40:33.000I think it's just people just getting fed up that want to throw their self into that crazy race, but that thing is nuts.
00:40:41.000Like, through any part of your, once you even like, yeah, that's wild.
00:40:45.000That's a different type of, there's a, wanting to be on stage and make people laugh, because my buddy of mine said this to me just about, you know, as we were talking about, Actors, whoever, running for president.
00:40:56.000And he was like, oh, it'd be great if there was a comedian that ran.
00:40:58.000And I'm like, yeah, but that's not our...
00:41:20.000Oh, wait, real quick, I just had a thought.
00:41:22.000When Dice came out and did his, because I wanted to, that, first of all, talking to him about being back in the garden, you're just saying just being funny or whatever, and watching him do his Hickory Dickory joke at the garden again was wild, dude.
00:41:36.000And hearing him talk about being back there was so...
00:41:39.000There's so many small things in between the entire Garden experience that I was like, I want to not ever forget this because seeing him even just be there, I was like, that's crazy.
00:41:48.000Well, Dice was kind of on the outs with the comedy community.
00:44:06.000I mean, some of the jokes I've had with friends who have been really bad hospital bedridden, and, like, that's changed their entire outlook on stuff.
00:44:32.000So I'm doing these shows, and this kid comes up and he's like, my mom has cancer, has four months to live, we've been watching, your Phil stuff is all that she wants to watch, and it makes her smile, so that's our thing now.
00:44:42.000And he starts bawling, and I got all choked up, and it was like, just more and more of that happened in the last few years, and not just of that stuff, just...
00:44:55.000Because I think we get so, and I know I'm guilty of this, like a lot of us, when you're getting going, you're so, you're thinking, you know, yeah, about the show and making people laugh and I'm present and I'm afterwards chatting with people and taking it in.
00:45:08.000But those, now that we have this opportunity to receive messages like that or hear it live in the face like that, it's wild.
00:45:18.000Lucky to like be a part of and you look at something like Kill Tony it's like and be having to be global there's people in probably Beirut they're having a shit day that like saw fucking Hans Kim and they're like dude I always want to see Hans Kim in the garden or whatever their dream was you know well yeah it's it's it really is like a kind of medicine it is for me for sure if someone makes me laugh I feel way better When did you start getting love like that?
00:45:38.000What I wanted to say, though, before I forgot, because Dice is embraced now by this class of comedians to this group of comedians that are coming out.
00:45:51.000Dice was one of my heroes when I was 19 years old.
00:46:10.000And it was just listening to it on a cassette, you know?
00:46:13.000And then as I became, you know, a comedian, a headliner, and traveled on TV, all this stuff, and I became friends with Dice.
00:46:21.000And then I realized some comedians don't like Dice.
00:46:23.000I was like, this doesn't even make sense to me.
00:46:26.000Like, what are you guys talking about?
00:46:28.000Like, the guy does legitimate performance art on the street.
00:46:32.000He does, for no money, he plans it out, he strategizes, and he makes these videos of him stumbling into people and telling them, you wanted the picture?
00:48:07.000But it's just this class of comedians gets that.
00:48:12.000This group of comedians gets just be funny.
00:48:15.000It's all bullshit unless you're funny.
00:48:17.000And another fun thing about Keltony is that it's like, you know, the audience that has cultivated, it's putting, you know, having dice on like that is like, people who may or may not have fully been educated on Andrew will now be like, oh, fuck, and then go back and do a deep dive.
00:48:32.000Well, a lot of these kids have no idea he even existed.
00:50:49.000It's inspiring to see somebody like that that doesn't lose their zest for the funny.
00:50:55.000Like even in the green room at the garden, he was doing videos with everybody and he came up and he goes, Phil, do a video for me where I come up and you go, hey, I'm talking to my fans.
00:52:52.000Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just happy I was always just would you freak me out to become his friend because I Is that one for you?
00:53:05.000That's just crazy that as far as like in the business really like I was young man I was friends with him in my 20s Wow, and I was standing in the back of the car He's the reason why I started going on the road because I was standing in the back of the comedy stories like you should do the road and And I said, why?
00:53:49.000And occasionally I would do something else where it was a long set, but it was a little awkward because I was mostly doing 15-minute sets, you know?
00:53:56.000And so then I started headlining again.
00:53:58.000I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, you have to do this.
00:55:20.000It is wild how quickly you find that out that you are in the right spot.
00:55:23.000I remember when I first started going around the store in, what, 2000?
00:55:26.000I started staying up in 2007, so I was right around there, and just going open mics and waiting for four hours, and Tommy telling me I'm going up, and then not going up, and then being like, And he's like, well, maybe come back tomorrow.
00:55:35.000But being around, even if I didn't go up, I was around for four hours, and I didn't just sit and wait.
00:55:41.000I milled around, and that's where I met Tony and all these guys that you're like, oh, cool, you're doing this too.
00:55:47.000And the connecting over that is an immediate bond that's just like, Once you kind of lock eyes with someone, they're like, oh, you're trying to do this too?
01:03:54.000I was writing bits out that I knew, but I was writing them out word for word on a notebook over and over again.
01:04:00.000And when you're overprepared, I'm assuming, I don't know if you riffed anything in the moment, but I feel like when you are that in the pocket, you're like, all right, now I feel comfy to shoot from the hip.
01:04:08.000Yeah, you could just do a show, like a regular show, like how you would do it.
01:07:18.000He's so funny, dude He's so fucking funny and he gives it he's so I love to when people are just so he's such a kind guy But he's so like he just commits fully dude, and he's just always in the pocket and he's always and That's a tough thing, too, is going on, like,
01:07:33.000I've only been on his long panel, or a five, ten minute bit, and it's like, to go on for a minute, and then, however long the interview part is, he's just always, he always delivers, I guess, which is, um...
01:07:47.000He's this maniacal character, and you can get away with so much as that maniacal character.
01:07:52.000I met his, uh, he's got two brothers, but I met one, and he goes, hi, my name's Vance, and he goes, I'm William's brother, and I was like, of course you are!
01:07:59.000Like, he just had all the William, like, really just a very intense, like, good to see you.
01:09:50.000And he's famous for things like he puts ankle weights on his wrists when he plays and tapes up his fingertips and puts shooting goggles on.
01:09:59.000Meanwhile, he's one of the greatest pool players that's ever lived.
01:10:01.000So he has all these gadgets and shit he does, but I do this impression to him.
01:10:05.000Play it for me, because you've got to hear him talk.
01:12:31.000Also, it's like pool players are also obsessed with it, the way you're obsessed with it, so you can talk about stuff that you can't talk about with other people, like tip millimeter sizes and carbon fiber shafts and shit.
01:12:44.000But the pool players can't wait to talk about it.
01:12:46.000So you're talking about these weird aspects, very particular aspects of this game.
01:12:50.000But while you're doing it, when you're just trying to concentrate on running out, just trying to concentrate on putting that cue ball, perfect for the next ball, perfect for the next, you're thinking three balls ahead, You're plotting your lines, and there's no room for anything else.
01:13:05.000There's no room for, oh, I forgot to call that guy back.
01:13:18.000And it just cleans your mind up because it requires all of you to make a hard shot, especially on tight pockets, a long shot on tight pockets.
01:13:26.000It requires all of you to stay in line, have your stroking arm follow through smooth, have the proper grip on the cue where you're not gripping it too tight.
01:13:36.000You're cradling it like a little baby bird.
01:16:15.000Yeah, I was getting teased all the time, so it was Fat Kid, and then I started making friends laugh, and they were like, oh, you're the funny kid.
01:16:21.000So then I was like, oh, this is making them laugh, which feels good, and then it's also changing the way they're looking at me, which I felt like a crazy superpower.
01:16:30.000I mean, it was sixth grade, and I was just, you know...
01:16:34.000I just was like, oh, I gotta chase this then.
01:17:25.000But the chasing of it was, which is why I was telling somebody this the other day, Jim Carrey, when he came through, when he was scouting for I'm Dying Up Here at the Comedy Store, and I had never met him, and he's walking through, and Adam Eget's walking him through, and, you know, that movie was so influential on me, Jim Carrey in general,
01:17:41.000but, like, how much I was, like, you know, involving it in making people laugh.
01:18:17.000And then I put it all together, and I was like, oh, dude, like, I'm sure subconsciously in that moment, I was like, oh, dude, this guy, you know, whether it was all about it or not, like, me just telling you all this stuff about the movie and influencing me and giving me the confidence to, like, want to try to make people laugh.
01:21:35.000Is this stuff made in some third world country that doesn't have any environmental regulations and they're just dumping this waste into the river, which we know has happened?
01:21:44.000But you feel better because you're wearing a fake fur?
01:25:19.000But back then, people didn't think twice because everybody was just trying to stay alive.
01:25:22.000They were just trying to not starve to death.
01:25:24.000They didn't give a fuck about those animals.
01:25:27.000And once things got soft and sweet and people started doing way better in society, it's like you don't have to worry about starving to death.
01:25:35.000Everyone's like, hey, why are we killing these little animals for their fur?
01:25:38.000What do you think about the taxidermy stuff?
01:25:40.000Like the full-on people that have rooms with just...
01:25:42.000I don't do that with animals I hunt because I like what's called a European mount and a European mount is the skull with the antlers on it.
01:25:59.000First of all, the people that do it are amazing and the art of it is pretty incredible because it is an art form.
01:26:05.000What you're doing is you're You're using this mold, right?
01:26:09.000So you have a mold that's roughly the size of the torso of the animal that you killed.
01:26:13.000They have a photograph of the animal that you killed.
01:26:16.000And then they take the skin from the animal that you killed and mold it around this foam and do it so perfectly that it looks just like the animal.
01:26:25.000They put fake eyes and they do it all up and it's got the antlers from the actual animal on it.
01:26:30.000And they've made a fake version of this animal that you killed.
01:27:01.000So Joe, I made this doc called Doug about my friend who was a lifeguard when he was 21 in the 70s, jumped into a pool in Jersey to save a kid who was faking drowning.
01:27:11.000And he ended up being paralyzed from the neck down.
01:27:14.000And his brother Brian, who was an accountant, quit doing that.
01:27:17.000To save his brother mentally, physically, who's in the hospital, wanted to die, was like, leave me in the pool.
01:27:23.000He was a college football star, you know, going to be a lawyer.
01:27:27.000Brian not only gets him physically fit and mentally stable, you know, to a place to where he wants to live, gets him so strong that he enters the Paralympics, ends up becoming the world champ, setting all the world records, gets on the cover of a Wheaties box, travels the world with Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Bo Jackson, speaking to people all over the world,
01:27:43.000becomes a criminal lawyer, helps get the Disability Act going.
01:27:46.000And so I meet Brian, who's now a physical therapist to the stars in New York.
01:27:50.000And he goes, he's telling me about his brother.
01:27:53.000He's like, dude, you got to meet my brother Doug.
01:27:54.000This guy's a fucking, he's incredible.
01:27:56.000Come to New Jersey and meet my brother.
01:29:31.000So I went out there and I was like, I at least got to film the interviews and their mom just passed with Brian Doug.
01:29:36.000Because the story of the brother, you know, just being there for Doug is wild and inspiring.
01:29:41.000And, I don't know, you know, having that amount of pictures and video to accompany any doc, I feel like is pretty imperative.
01:29:48.000It was overwhelming, so I was like, I'm going to come out and at least interview you guys, and then it took a couple years to put it all together.
01:29:53.000But it's on my YouTube channel, youtube.com slash adamraycomedy.
01:29:56.000I tried to pitch it a few places, didn't really have enough juice, and then I was like, I'm just going to put it up, because I want them to, it should be out there.
01:30:04.000A movie on that story, I mean, it's wild, Joe.
01:30:06.000I'll text you a link, it's only 50 minutes.
01:30:08.000So you've never did a documentary or anything like this before?
01:30:51.000I flew him to Vegas once when I had a major back thing and three days of aggressive stretching and fucking fixed me and on the plane he's like, there's a woman next to me and her shoulder was fucking fucked up and I fixed the shoulder!
01:31:01.000She wasn't able to do that for fucking 40 years!
01:31:41.000But there's days when I've seen him...
01:31:43.000I stuck around New York an extra day to get worked on and, you know, I get just from flying and carrying a lot of shit here, my quads get real tight all the time and so, you know, I'm just not stretching enough, which I know I got to, but, you know, he's like, I could use two more days with you to, like, really get you, you know.
01:32:00.000Yeah, I've been doing a lot of stretching lately because I had done a lot of like, especially getting ready for the special, I was working out a lot also to calm my mind.
01:38:12.000First time playing that, though, and driving down Sunset and seeing the comedy store was pretty cool.
01:38:17.000I think Grand Theft Auto, I think I've read this, they were comparing the amount of money that Grand Theft Auto has generated versus almost any other movie, game, in comparison to how it does to big Hollywood blockbusters.
01:38:34.000How much money has Grand Theft Auto generated?
01:38:40.000I mean, that has got to be one of the most popular games of all time.
01:40:08.000If you think I exploit people, every time you bring a guest on this show, you exploit them and spread whatever problems they have to the whole world.
01:41:59.000We didn't want to admit that people want to see that, just like we don't want to admit people want to drown hookers in Red Dead Redemption, but they do.
01:43:05.000And then now everyone has a phone, and anyone's phone can connect to a plethora of porn sites.
01:43:13.000I had a guy on my flight about three months ago, no joke, porn on the phone, no headphones.
01:43:19.000Jesus heard like heard oh fuck my butt and then was just kind of like Like and then saw saw this, you know people kind of like turning people no one one to citizens arrest this guy So everyone was kind of like he probably was doing it to make people uncomfortable for sure.
01:44:37.000Are you a peeping Tom if you're listening?
01:44:39.000Defendant convicted of watching porn in a parking lot fails in constitutional challenge to public obscenity law.
01:44:44.000Watching pornography in public serves no legitimate purposes unless you want to fucking jizz like a racehorse.
01:44:51.000You're trying to get first class to turn things up a notch.
01:44:53.000Doing so with one's window down and at a restaurant's busy parking lot in full view of families recklessly exposed pornography to young children.
01:51:16.000So I did this gig with Ari, and we had this guy drive us He picks us up at the airport, takes us to the hotel, and then he's driving us to the gig, and everything's normal.
01:51:31.000And then eventually, at the end of the weekend, he's driving us to the airport.
01:51:35.000And when the guy's driving us to the airport, he opens up about his swinger life out of nowhere.
01:54:23.000Told me that he went to one of those and walked in and people were fucking all over the place.
01:54:27.000Those are things where you like drop your keys in the bowl or you put your phone like- No, that's like a party that they would like throw their keys in the bowl and then the guy would reach in and pull out one of the women's keys.
01:54:36.000The woman would reach in and pull out one of the guys keys and you figured out who you're going home with.
01:58:51.000If you don't have the right amount of poison in there, which is what it is, when you're pouring chlorine in there, you're just killing everything that's alive.
01:59:32.000Okay, it's commonly known as Legionellosis, which is a generic term for respiratory infection caused by the Legionella bacteria.
01:59:43.000This disease is named after a deadly outbreak of pneumonia in 1976 that occurred during people attending the American Legion's state convention in Philadelphia.
01:59:52.000Legionella sounds like Coachella for people that have swallowed a lot of hot tub cum.
01:59:57.000So that's why they named it Legionnaire's disease?
02:00:00.000Because it happened during that, that was the outbreak?
02:02:43.000But if you're a woman and, you know, you're 40 and this guy's nice and he's worth fucking $30 billion you want to marry, you're like, let's go.
02:04:00.000Even Betty White, before she passed, was saying how she was like, I think at 99 maybe, there was some article I read, and she was just talking about, like, still banging it out.
02:06:04.000When I opened for Harlan, he would do a joke where he'd go, he'd take somebody's tortilla chip out of the front row, and he'd go, here's my impression of a 75-year-old woman having sex.
02:06:14.000And then he would just crinkle the chip into the mic, and it was like, it sounded exactly like everything breaking.
02:09:57.000And then some people just have no impulse control and they want to get teenagers drunk and maybe they want to relive their high school and freak these young boys out and suck their cocks.
02:10:47.000Hurricane warnings, they don't give a fuck.
02:10:48.000Well, they do give a fuck, but there's not much he can do.
02:10:51.000If you choose to live down there, that is the fucking gamble you play.
02:10:54.000But don't you ever see those stories when there are like a thousand mile an hour winds coming through and then some guy's just like, I ain't going anywhere.
02:12:12.000You don't live there unless you have a fucking private jet or a helicopter that can get you the fuck out of there, because if you get stuck in that shit...
02:12:25.000Because the thing about the modern storm, the way the meteorologists and the way they're able to predict the paths of these things, they're pretty good.
02:13:22.000You're gonna have to shut it off, maybe, because you're stuck in the middle of this fucking road and it's not going anywhere, because there's 10 million people on the same road.
02:13:31.000That's a mindset that people don't take into consideration when they think about living in places like that.
02:13:36.000You have to take into consideration the fact that everyone has to go in one direction.
02:16:17.000I had to go in a shelter once, a tornado, my grandparents and mom from Oklahoma, and when they were living there, we went into the shelter.
02:16:24.000Tornado people, like, we were down there with people that were just like, we might have to live down here.
02:16:28.000This could be the new, like, it was my grandparents, a few of their friends, and people that were just like, went to the shelter, and I'm fucking 10, surrounded by true doomsday guys that were just like, this is where we live now.
02:16:40.000Like, you might need to, and you look like you're the fattest kid here, young Adam, so we might need to be chomping on those beef jerky titties.
02:18:06.000And it was not anything close to your show, but you'd have to make people think the first stunt was like, these guys are going to be hanging on to these bike handlebars 30 feet in the air, and there's a platform below them, and when the platform drops out...
02:18:20.000They gotta hang on, but they're attached to a bungee cord, so there's no real danger of all of it.
02:18:25.000And then it was, the only real thing that was kind of close to the show was the eating of stuff.
02:18:30.000It was like, we have this picture of sour milk and beaver clits and just all this.
02:18:35.000It was just crazy shit, and one guy projectile vomited on me, and I said, what the fuck, into the mic in front of 1,500 kids, and I got suspended for a week because I cursed in front of kids.
02:21:10.000You're supposed to be making people think this is 1940s New York.
02:21:12.000And I go, Jenna, with all due respect, a trolley just drove by with Fievel, Curious George, and SpongeBob SquarePants blasting the song, ooh-ee-ooh-ah-ah, ching-chang, walla-walla-bing-bang.
02:21:23.000And I was like, I'm not a history buff, but I'm pretty sure that song wasn't also a part of the 40s.
02:21:27.000And she's like, it's your job to make people think that this is 1940s New York.
02:21:31.000And I was like, fuck, I gotta get out of here.
02:21:33.000Jesus, it's your job to make people retarded?
02:21:38.000And I was like, if people were walking out thinking that I didn't make them think that this is, then they shouldn't be in the park in the first place.
02:21:45.000That's like people that go to those fairs, those renaissance fairs, and then some people break character, and then the other people try to talk to them in character.
02:26:10.000Yeah, the kids that would tease me for weight stuff, like, I try, you know, as I got a little older, I'd try to give benefit of the doubt and be like, oh, they didn't know any better, they're just fucking kids, but like, and thank God I found a way to maybe, you know, get around it, but like...
02:26:47.000And so they're mean, but the problem is when they're mean to, like, if you're mean to a 14-year-old that's just coming into ninth grade, you might fuck them up forever.
02:30:41.000When he came out and was doing the dance and the low clapping, I don't know if you saw this too, the way he was drinking his Bud Lights with two little...
02:30:52.000I mean, for real, he could show Trump how to deliver the lines.
02:30:55.000Dude, when we were, the first time we did it, because Shane and I only maybe seen each other and chatted about 10 times at clubs prior to that first time.
02:31:02.000So this is really, this is another thing I love about comedy.
02:31:05.000It's like we got to really kick it like this past weekend a lot and chum it up and like just get to know each other more because we were thrust into this thing kind of together, you know?
02:31:14.000And during the first time with the mothership, I lean over in character and I go, I go, hey Shane, you realize this is the most we've ever talked to each other?
02:31:20.000And then the character goes, Joe, shut the fuck up.
02:33:27.000I thought he was going to come out at Madison Square Garden when they played that video montage when they put me in the Kill Tony Hall of Fame.
02:33:32.000I thought he was going to come out behind me and, I don't know, fucking stab me in the back and go, we won't be right back.
02:35:29.000Because if you could do that, then you could have people saying all kinds of things.
02:35:32.000If that's okay to take a famous person who's the vice president of the United States...
02:35:38.000Have her say a bunch of shit that she didn't really say Because it's parody like you can kind of get a little slippery with that like you can get like subtle parody Yeah, or it's like you barely know that she's not saying those things.
02:35:51.000Yeah, and then it becomes like people believe it's real It's pretty obvious though right the videos of these not always man.
02:35:57.000They're getting good They're getting really good.
02:36:44.000Yeah, they're not common, but they would help in the hurricane place as long as you don't catch them winds.
02:36:49.000I remember when Dallas had Uber helicopters for about two months.
02:36:51.000Bro, could you imagine if Florida had flying cars and hurricanes in the middle of the hurricanes?
02:36:56.000You know there'd be a bunch of those same kind of dudes that shoot out their window at people in road rage.
02:37:00.000They would be flying in winds that they shouldn't be flying in and crashing into the whole highway in a burst of flames and killing everybody.
02:37:08.000And it would be on YouTube Reels the next day.
02:37:11.000Florida is the guinea pig of states for all the stuff that's...
02:37:14.000Well, it's a state that was essentially founded...
02:37:34.000Prisoners that Castro releases, he gets them out and puts them on fucking boats and sends them to Miami.
02:37:41.000And then you have the crazy cocaine days in the 1980s.
02:37:45.000And then you have an economy that has, there was more, at least at one point in time, find out if this is true still, there's more banks per capita in Miami.
02:38:16.000At one point in time, one graduating class, the Miami Police Academy, every single one of them either went to jail for corruption or was murdered.
02:38:25.000My god the entire class it was just cocaine Everyone was out of their fucking minds.
02:38:32.000They're all on it and they're all committing crimes on it And they're all making millions of dollars and they're all going to nightclubs at Scarface it's Scarface was based on that my god Brian De Palma scars face written by Was Oliver Stone right didn't Oliver Stone write it sounds right it is right For how long?
02:43:01.000Which is when you want to be that fucked up on edibles.
02:43:03.000You're around nice people, having a wonderful time.
02:43:05.000By the way, another stamp in the comedy zeitgeist or the history books of like, I feel very fortunate to have been in a time where I got to be around that and then beyond, you know what I'm saying?
02:43:16.000I mean, obviously you guys have been homies forever, but like, Yeah, that's like, you know, that was a staple in time.
02:43:58.000Those are also some of the wildest nights at the store that I will never forget in the OR of seeing a lineup that's just, you know, Tom, Bill, you, Joey.
02:44:07.000Like, you bringing up Joey or Joey bringing up you is a half hour that I don't think I'll ever forget, dude.
02:44:15.000And I know you get that now with the mothership of what you guys are doing here and what you've created.
02:44:20.000But man, like, seeing it for the first time of it, of me seeing it, is what I'm, I guess, getting at.
02:44:25.000Of being, and getting to a point to where it was like, open mics at the store, then did phones for a few years, and then being a regular, then just being around, and being around enough to be comfortable to stick around and sit in a bucket seat and watch that transition happen, was wild, dude.
02:44:39.000The fucking, the pops and the roars, and then you sitting down and watching him was so fucking cool, you know?
02:45:41.000There's a bunch of stories about the comedy store being haunted.
02:45:45.000Yeah, I know multiple people that have seen Ghosts there.
02:45:48.000Carla Bow used to have a crazy story about sleeping on the stage, and something grabbed his leg and dragged him to the end of the stage, and then he heard a bunch of chairs clink and the door slammed, and there was no one in the room.
02:49:41.000Where's that happening, where they're outlawing the fentanyl tests?
02:49:45.000And I think the concern is that it would encourage people to do drugs or sell drugs, and that maybe the thing that's going to discourage them is the fact that people are dying from it, which is an insane way to think.
02:49:56.000Let's just prevent people from dying first.
02:49:59.000I guess the fear is that it would make people feel like it's safe to do coke again.
02:50:03.000Center for Disease Control and Prevention and most public health agencies endorse distributing fentanyl test strips to people who use drugs.
02:50:10.000The practice is illegal in 42 states and the District of Columbia.
02:50:42.000Why are fentanyl strips illegal in Texas?
02:50:44.000Texas is one of the few states where fentanyl strips are still illegal and considered drug partenalia.
02:50:49.000One argument that has been made against the test strips and other harm reduction practices is that they may encourage people to do drugs or continue doing drugs.
02:52:44.000Like, if I catch you selling coke, death penalty.
02:52:48.000But if you want to give away coke, if you want to make coke and give it away, it's totally illegal.
02:52:52.000If you want to make your own cocaine or a pharmaceutical drug company makes cocaine, they can sell that cocaine for exactly what it costs to make it and nothing more.
02:53:09.000It was adorable to watch you go through it.
02:53:10.000I bailed on it, because I was like, no, because then people just, they'll make it, and they'll suddenly get the fentanyl problem, all back over again.
02:53:16.000You've got to allow pharmaceutical drug companies to profit, otherwise they have no incentive to make it.
02:53:21.000Then they're going to tell you, they're going to have fucking ads like, CNN brought to you by cocaine.
02:53:26.000That's going to be the Anderson Cooper show brought to you by crack.
02:54:42.000I think it's 90. Every day there's a new fish or dolphin or whale and you're like, I just saw this video of, I think it was a swordfish coming out and like flying across the, whatever, did he pop down to the water?
02:54:52.000I was like, I didn't know they could fucking jump like that.
02:55:03.000He said he thinks that, and this is coming from someone else who observed this, he thinks that sharks are attacking people not even to eat them.
02:55:11.000They're attacking people because they don't want them there because they're getting in the way of the seals and all the things they eat.
02:55:35.000There's a video of a kid in Hawaii who's on a small paddleboard, fishing off a paddleboard, and a fucking tiger shark bites the paddleboard.
02:56:26.000Again, you walk into a stranger's house, you take the meatloaf sandwich out of your kid's mouth, your dad's going to punch you in the face.
02:56:49.000I just saw this video with an alligator attack, where it's like, if it bites your leg, you're supposed to roll with it, and then play dead, and then you, like...
02:56:56.000The playing dead thing, always, to me, I'm like, you're not that good of an actor.
02:56:59.000Good luck keeping it together while a thing is clamped onto your fucking leg.
02:57:02.000Dude, I don't even think Pacino could fake dead in front of a gator.
02:57:05.000I think they're gonna be like, dude...
02:57:06.000It's gonna keep you underwater until it knows for sure, so you have to not move.
02:58:16.000Most of these really ancient things that haven't changed at all since the dawn of time, they're not that smart because they're just about killing.
02:58:25.000If you think about how old sharks are, I think sharks are older than trees.
03:01:50.000There was a sound that was recorded once by underwater microphones that was a biological sound that was louder than anything that any animal had ever made before.
03:02:49.000I don't know what this sound was, they don't know what the fuck it was.
03:02:52.000And 1997, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration recorded a mysterious underwater sound that lasted for one minute and was detected by hydrophones 5,000 miles apart.
03:03:05.000The sound was named the Bloop and came from a location off the coast of Chile.
03:03:09.000The Bloop captured people's imagination and led to theories about what it could be, such as the call of a dinosaur, an undiscovered sea creature, or a giant squid.
03:03:17.000In 2005, NOAA scientists discovered that sound was actually caused by an iceberg breaking away from the Atlantic Glacier.
03:04:48.000They're gonna be able to think really clearly, without any emotions, no remorse, no morals, no ethics, no worrying if people like them, no reading the comments.
03:08:38.000The female lays their eggs, and the guys just jizz all over it.
03:08:41.000We used to catch rainbow trout when I lived in Boston, and we'd go to this lake and catch rainbows, and they would be jizzing when you pull them out of the lake.
03:08:50.000Because it would be the time where they're spawning, and they're making baits.
03:08:54.000And you're allowed to fish for them, at least back then you were.
03:08:57.000And you're pulling them out as they're jizzing.