Joe Rogan is back and better than ever. He talks about the new Weight Watchers motto "If you're not hungry enough for an apple, you ain't hungry" and why he doesn't need to go to the gym after he's had sex. He also talks about testosterone and why you should stop ejaculating after you've had sex because your dick is going to stop making as many loads. And he talks about how to get a good night's rest without going to the bathroom. Joe Rogan Experience is brought to you by Onnit. Onnit is the world's largest online sex shop and is home to some of the best sex shops in the entire world. They have everything you could ever want and then some. Onnit has it all, including the best service in the whole world. All you need to do is go buy a bottle of Onnit and you'll be set for the rest of your life. You don't even have to pay a dime to use Onnit's amazing service. You get 10% off the first order and you get a 100% money back guarantee for the first 30 pills you order. All you get is 100% back guarantee and you don't have to return the product until the end of the month. Shroom TechSport is a company that gives you the best experience in the world. It's the best high-performance mushroom supplements you can get anywhere else. ShroomTech Sport is the best in the best at making your brain buzz and boost your brain, your brain cells and brain cells. You can't get better than they can get from your brain and your brain is better than that way. You can get a better day in the rest and your body can improve your day to day life, day after day and you won't even notice you're getting more rest and more rest, you'll feel better than you're going to be more productive and you can have more energy and more sleep, you're gonna feel better at work, you can go to sleep faster, you won t have less stress and you will have more money, you will get more sleep and more energy, you are going to have more of everything you need it, you get it all day to do it, it's all day, you need more of it, and you need less of it and more of that, you don t have to be less stress, you aren't going to feel like you're more of a day to think about it, etc.
00:00:22.000Do they use the word fucking in that motto?
00:00:24.000No, I just dropped it in there for effect.
00:00:27.000But it's funny, like, they should have a motto for if you still want to go fuck a crack hole and get blow after you've whacked off, then go.
00:00:36.000Once you whack off and cut your legs right off, if you sit there for 30, like, if you come to me and go, dog, I need $300, I'm gonna go kill a crack hole and get some coke and...
00:00:44.000What would a heavyweight title fight look like if, like, say if you watch a boxing match, and then halfway into the boxing match, there's like a three, like at the third round, there's a break, and some hot chick comes in and blows a dude.
00:00:59.000And then after he shoots his nut, he's got to go out and fight the next three rounds.
00:01:04.000It would be interesting to watch, you know, like how many dudes fought well after they ejaculated and how many dudes just completely fell apart, just turned all up.
00:01:14.000Because that takes the fucking fire out of it.
00:01:20.000Well, they say that when you do it for seven days, when you abstain from ejaculation by seven days, your testosterone can go up, I think it's as high as 50%.
00:12:08.000Like, the idea of you sitting in a room, like, that's a part of sexuality.
00:12:12.000You sitting in a room, like, beating off to videos of people fucking, like, a bunch of other people in the room, too, and they're all like...
00:12:20.000Like, looking up all together, like, what the fuck?
00:13:47.000It was a sex club in the 70s and early 80s where you paid, you know, a thousand bucks the door and you went in there and you fucked 85,000 fucking people.
00:13:56.000You know, the thing that always got me about sex that...
00:14:00.000You know, I've been addicted to drugs, so I understand the addiction is when I would get off the bus on 48th Street at 7.45 to go to work selling cars, and I would come home and roll a joint.
00:14:12.000I would smoke it right there on 42nd Street.
00:14:14.000I would just sit there and watch, not guys like you and I, but guys that had families, guys with suits on and a tie, that before they have to go on with their day, they would have to go into a peep show.
00:14:26.000And you know who I would see a lot of?
00:14:45.000Beep shows where people fucking the circle and all that stuff.
00:14:49.000But I remember I would sit outside of that.
00:14:51.000You know, because you have to cross that street.
00:14:53.000And I would just sit there and watch people.
00:14:55.000And go, what would make somebody jump out of a train?
00:14:59.000You could see them, like I used to leave the store to have to go get a half gram of Coke.
00:15:04.000There's nothing else on your mind but that Coke.
00:15:06.000I would see them walking off, walking outside 8th Avenue, Fucking walking left, and you could see their body language.
00:15:14.000They weren't going to stop until they got to a fuck show to see some guy fuck a big, flat, black chick in the middle of a room, and some chick comes up to you with a tit, and you could suck it.
00:15:23.000Here's this guy that has a family that lives in the suburbs, you know, from Jersey or Queens.
00:17:01.000Maybe some people are disillusioned from the world.
00:17:04.000Maybe they just want to tap out for a while and going home putting a wig on and jerking off is fucking what they're into.
00:17:10.000That's the beauty about what we do, that everybody's into something fucking different.
00:17:13.000I understand somebody going to a porn store every day, because I go to the weed store every day.
00:17:20.000So what's the fucking difference correlation in my head?
00:17:23.000Well, the porn thing to me is fascinating because like porn girls, like there's like a huge number, a huge percentage of them who have had bad things happen to them when they were kids.
00:17:38.000You know, a lot of traumatic like sexual type shit.
00:17:41.000And it's not all of them, but it's a lot of them.
00:17:43.000And so you get to look at it and go, this is crazy.
00:17:46.000Like this is a whole industry That was created in many ways because of abuse.
00:17:53.000And then that industry is something that feeds, you know, through these online videos, millions and billions of people.
00:18:03.000But we're all supposed to, like, feel bad about it.
00:18:05.000It's a weird sort of undercover, creepy thing.
00:18:11.000You know, you couldn't go into business meetings and talk about your favorite porn sites.
00:18:14.000You know, you can't just go there and, like, what are you guys doing?
00:18:16.000You still going to U-Porn, you fucking noobs?
00:18:19.000You know, hey, come on, you gotta check out, you know, XYZ, upyourassvideos.com, or, you know, All Asians, or whatever the fuck website it is.
00:18:27.000There's, like, a hundred thousand, like, free porn websites online.
00:19:31.000I mean, they got together and then they had sex.
00:19:32.000Like porn of today, it's like there's some really nutty things they're doing, man.
00:19:38.000There's a lot of joking and gagging and fucking spitting on each other, spitting in mouths and stuff.
00:19:47.000When we were in Ohio, me and Joey Diaz were in Ohio, I was over at my friend Shane's house because he had a baby, and Shane was showing me that he got the Playboy of the month and year that he was born, the issue, which was in 1974. And there was this person on there that, the centerfold, was the most beautiful woman ever, and I'm like obsessed with her now.
00:20:38.000It's amazing when you look at the evolution of the tit.
00:20:41.000If you really look at a Playboy from 1969, you go, wow, even the fucking nipples were rounded, they were pointier.
00:20:49.000You know, it's really weird what a woman looked like.
00:20:51.000We've had this discussion before about the women of the 70s, you know, Natalie Wood, the crazy one that Steve McQueen was married to, Ally McGraw, I shouldn't call her crazy.
00:20:59.000It wasn't her fault he smacked her to death on the fucking movie set.
00:21:03.000But it's just you see those women and you see the women down.
00:21:44.000They stuff water bags under her skin, and it stretches it out to make, like, the nipples extend further and make the whole thing unnaturally tight and, you know, and swollen.
00:25:40.000Like, some countries, it's like 16. Some parts of the world, it's 13. Some parts of this country, I think, it might be, like, really young.
00:25:46.000You know, like, whatever the age of consent is.
00:25:48.000I think most of them are leaning towards at least 17 now.
00:25:51.000What do you think, as a parent, and as when you had sex at your age?
00:25:55.000How old were you the first time you seen a fucking pussy?
00:26:05.000But I think for kids, you know, for kids fucking around with kids, there's a different age.
00:26:11.000You know, like, you can say the age of consent is 18. And if the age of consent is 18, that's, you know, that makes sense to me.
00:26:20.000Because, I mean, 17-year-olds can still make out with each other.
00:26:22.000You know, like, there should be, like, an age buffer where, like, an 18-year-old boyfriend...
00:26:28.000Who's been with a girl since, you know, they were 16 and 14. She'd still be allowed to bang her, like, once he turns 19. Like, they've been boyfriend and girlfriend for three years.
00:27:01.000She wasn't ready to see my Cuban egg roll at fucking 14. You know, I mean, then you have to refer to yourself as a parent.
00:27:09.000what age do i think my son or my daughter is ready to fuck around the real question is what age can a man fuck your daughter that's the real question that's the real question because it's not can a 16 year old boy fuck a 16 year old girl yeah of course they can can a 17 year old boy fucking 16 year old girl i guess so can an 18 year old boy fuck a 16 year old girl yeah if she's mature can a No.
00:27:42.000Somebody in Kentucky probably thinks it's completely different, like it's 7 and 40. Yeah, there should be some sort of a standard, but I mean...
00:27:52.000At a certain point in time, I just gotta let it go.
00:27:55.000When are you ready, you know, when you look at your kids around you?
00:27:58.000You know, whenever I meet people that have kids, I always ask the parents, how old are the kids?
00:28:04.000When they say to me, he's 14, I look at that person, I go, look at that kid.
00:28:09.000At that age, I was already doing a thousand things.
00:29:50.000Those mosquitoes, they drink that shit for mouthwash.
00:29:52.000They got a hold of some Monsanto corn and now they're fucking super pumped up.
00:29:56.000Dude, my dad was telling me about this bug that came from Japan, and that's then hit, I think, Canada, and then went to Michigan, and now it's coming down to Ohio, and what it's doing is, well, it's not bad for us, but it goes into these trees.
00:30:12.000I forget the name of the tree that it's attacking, and it drills holes in it and lays eggs in it, and then when all the babies come out, they just pretty much destroy everything, so it's killing this whole breed of tree.
00:30:45.000You could have these people come out to your tree and put this shit in it and they drill these holes in the tree and put this chemical in the tree that supposedly helps it.
00:31:03.000Isn't it weird how like we now because of all the cross-pollination with ships and planes and we can introduce shit to a place where it has no natural predators.
00:31:14.000And that the whole system just gets completely fucked.
00:31:17.000I was on the, not even the highway, it was on like regular streets last night at about 10 o'clock.
00:31:25.000And as I'm driving down the street, I saw this fucking coyote standing in the road, staring at me, and then he trots over to the sidewalk.
00:31:33.000And then I slow down, and I look at him, and he's staring at me, and he looks left, he looks light, and then he runs up into someone's driveway.
00:31:39.000And I'm looking at that coyote, and I'm like, that's reality.
00:31:44.000That's something that doesn't know traffic lights, doesn't give a fuck about your laws, doesn't give a fuck about, you know, oh, that's your kid?
00:32:18.000There's a gang of coyotes that live in Burbank, and I have this thing where I feel weird with coyotes because I don't feel like they're going to attack me at all, even though they might sometime, but I always roll down the window and fuck with coyotes.
00:32:28.000Like, I'll whistle at them and be like, hey, you, come here!
00:32:30.000You know, like, do you play with the coyotes when you see them?
00:32:33.000You know, you think they're like dogs, but you ever see a picture of a coyote with their mouth open?
00:41:04.000He was one of the youngest UFC champs.
00:41:07.000He won, I don't know how old he was when he won the title, but I remember he beat Randy Couture, and then there was some sort of a dispute with the UFC management, and UFC didn't get along, and he left, and then he started fighting overseas, and he fought in pride, and...
00:41:24.000And then he came back and became part of the Strikeforce tournament.
00:44:38.000I just think that high a level, like when you're at that high a level in any sport, whether it's wrestling or anything, you know, boxing, when you get to that level, it's so hard to maintain that kind of pace.
00:44:50.000It's so hard to just live your life like that where you're constantly competing.
00:44:55.000When I was a kid, I seen a high school wrestler.
00:44:57.000By the way, your fucking voice is just creeping me out.
00:45:51.000Those are the two toughest to deal with.
00:45:54.000But the thing about, and both of them, especially when it comes to international competition, they both have to deal with some pretty fucking stiff and crazy competition.
00:46:03.000Judo, internationally especially, is really popular.
00:46:07.000It's a really popular sport in a lot of different countries.
00:46:09.000But wrestling, there's something about wrestlers, man.
00:46:12.000What they have to go through, their mind becomes capable of pulling shit off where other people wouldn't push hard enough.
00:46:19.000They would back off before the wrestler does.
00:50:08.000That's the thing that just goes into trees and fucking lays a bunch of eggs in trees that destroys the trees and then those things hatch and become more of these...
00:50:15.000It's like a fucking army of tree killers.
00:51:27.000It's not against the law to do those things.
00:51:29.000Vapor, if it was like an electronic cigarette, I guess.
00:51:32.000But then he did it in a car when we were driving to Pittsburgh, and he just starts hitting it, and all the windows are up, and immediately I smelled weed.
00:51:40.000And I'm like, if you did that on the plane, everybody smelled that.
00:53:39.000Remember that thing, the little robot thing?
00:53:40.000When they put the bomb in his fucking mouth, give me the bonus, fuck the bonus, and they pull the thing and he's like, ah, I still got that on my thing just for that scene.
00:53:49.000The movie's horrible, but that scene is fucking classic.
00:55:08.000It's like always at publicities, at events, at the longest show I think, somebody said something to fucking Burt Reynolds and Burt Reynolds pushed him.
00:57:03.000Maurice Reynolds attending the premiere of his new film, really a remake of his old film, When either in jest or in anger, depending on who you believe, Reynolds slapped the CBS employee who was asking the star about that movie.
00:57:15.000And today CBS News says it is looking into the matter.
01:00:22.000I was, like, really impressed, like, jumping through the air, wrapping their legs around the dude's neck, and flipping the dude through the air.
01:01:24.000You don't feel uncomfortable with that?
01:01:27.000This guy's all sweaty and hyped up from a fucking wrestling match where they always get kneed in the head and fucking kicked in the head accidentally and punched in the head.
01:01:34.000Like, you see some of the shit they do where they do, like, flying sidekicks and hit each other in the head?
01:01:39.000They hit each other in the fucking head, man.
01:01:41.000There's a lot of times they're actually hitting each other.
01:02:10.000They do all those things that they show you in The Wrestler where people come and sign t-shirts and talk about 1981. I wonder where Jimmy the Superfly Snooker is.
01:02:19.000Do you remember the ultimate warrior who used to live in Boulder in his heyday?
01:05:32.000For those that didn't watch this but rather listen to this podcast that might be one of the most retarded things I've ever seen in my life.
01:05:56.000It's a big, giant, roided-up dude handing out Slim Jims.
01:10:37.000Isn't it crazy, though, that that's what happens when you do shit like try to have competitions where you see who has the best body and the biggest muscles?
01:10:45.000Like, standards sort of change, and then, just like fake tits, the standard becomes the unnatural, unachievable, without drugs look.
01:10:53.000But what's crazy about this, Joe, is I thought that Weightlifting and steroids and recovery and everything has excelled so much in 30 years.
01:11:02.000That had to be 1982 when Tom Plants took that picture.
01:13:29.000I'm really, I love, I never, I always said to myself, why do people go to Rwadi on a fucking treadmill where you can walk around North Hollywood Park and get some vitamin D and really sweat?
01:13:40.000Then I read his book and like I told you on the plane, the diet stuff is hard for me because I don't like a lot of vegetables.
01:13:45.000But the fucking workouts, you know, the beginner treadmill workout is sensational.
01:13:50.000I can't do the full speed yet, but I'm doing it.
01:18:39.000When I'm in LA, you're thinking about shit that you think in LA. And you think there's going to be somebody in the audience or who's here with you or...
01:19:49.000We went to Cleveland on the Maxim tour years ago, and I remember driving around the city going, wow, there's not a lot of hope in this city.
01:24:53.000You enter into a door, you open the door, you got like a little space and it's like a Tiny little sink, and there's like a little hot plate.
01:25:00.000You know, a lot of people, they're living almost like in closets.
01:26:28.000One minute you look up, it's a beautiful day.
01:26:30.000You look down, your bags are gone, you fucking momo.
01:26:33.000But what is it about, I guess, there's something about being able to tell people that you live in the city.
01:26:37.000That you live in Manhattan or you live in New York or whatever.
01:26:41.000Listen, like I told it a thousand times, you're going to live in New York City, if you're not living like John Lennon in the Dakota, go fuck your mother.
01:27:05.000He would walk through Central Park every day and get freshly squeezed orange juice and didn't give a fuck if it cost $12 or not because he's John Lennon.
01:27:13.000So the Dakota's like a really nice place, is that what it is?
01:28:21.000And it's right there on the street where all the poor people can drive by and look at all the rich.
01:28:25.000Like, inside there, well, all they have to do is say, well, you know what, though?
01:28:30.000You know, society is functional and there are police officers, so it's not feasible that we go in and just take all the stuff out of there, so we just leave it alone.
01:28:48.000There's like little pockets in that bank and inside that bank you can get money and there's jewelry and there's expensive stuff all throughout that place.
01:29:59.000Apartments for sale of the Dakota, New York City, Manhattan, Condos.
01:30:04.000One of the most famous residence buildings in all of New York is the Dakota.
01:30:07.000It was a bold building when it was first developed.
01:30:10.000Built so far north of the pulse of the city at the time, citizens snickered and nicknamed it the Dakota, a reference to the states of North and South Dakota, which were very far away from New York City.
01:30:52.000You gotta, like, realize that that is, you're getting interaction.
01:30:56.000You're definitely getting something off of those people.
01:30:59.000I don't know what it is, but I know there's a difference between the way I feel.
01:31:03.000When I'm standing on a mountain and I look out and I see fields and I see clouds and I see birds flying overhead, there's a different feeling than when I'm on the 405. When I'm on the 405, there's a hive of humanity and there's some residual effect that you get from all these people.
01:31:20.000There's a different feeling that you get when you're in a city.
01:31:29.000Whatever the fuck it is, it's in the air, man.
01:31:32.000It's not as simple and as innocuous as if you're not touching me, you're not affecting me.
01:31:37.000I think it's, we're affected by our environment in some strange way.
01:31:40.000So that's why I don't think I can do it in New York City.
01:31:43.000When I was at my mom's house this weekend and she lives in the middle of nowhere like just farms like across the street from her is a strawberry field and like it's just in the middle of nowhere and at night when I was sitting in my car waiting to go inside her house I was just like it was so quiet and so like the stars and oh and it was just it was like this is I would not have any stress if I got to come home to this yeah it's different it's crazy it's different You close your door, you hear cars driving by your street.
01:33:33.000Can you imagine bringing a girl home and, like, I'll be right down and, like, coming down, like, on a fire pool, you know, with a bottle of champagne.
01:34:19.000Wow, that's a huge place in Manhattan.
01:34:21.000At 84 West 3rd Street between Sullivan and Thompson's, which he purchased in September, boasts the original spiral staircase brass fire poles.
01:37:13.000It's like, they get to live like in a science fiction movie.
01:37:16.000Like, every day, they look out their window.
01:37:19.000They're on the 90th floor of some fucking building or whatever the hell it is.
01:37:22.000You know, I don't know what the highest building is there now.
01:37:25.000But, I mean, if you're on the 50th, 60th floor and you're looking out and seeing all of Manhattan and you're, like, in the heat of it, it is kind of crazy science fiction, man.
01:37:33.000If you were, like, really into that, like, man, I could see.
01:37:37.000I think the baddest house I ever seen was a maroon house.
01:37:41.000Creek Maroon Bells in Aspen, Colorado.
01:41:29.000The conversation has actually eroded to us scrolling through it together.
01:41:35.000But Mike Tyson's old house, I wonder if you would be creeped out if you bought it and you knew that Mike Tyson would just gorilla fuck chicks in every room in the house.
01:41:44.000No, it probably has a lot of positive energy in it.
01:47:06.000He doesn't have problems forming sentences or anything.
01:47:08.000He doesn't have, like, you know, speech issues.
01:47:12.000So if you're going to do a one-man show, that's the last thing you need, you know?
01:47:16.000That's the saddest thing about boxers, man, is you watch a great one, and then you watch him in an interview later in his career, and you hear him slurring his words, and you're like, man, he paid a big price for that life, that wild life of his.
01:47:29.000You know, now we're sitting here watching it.
01:47:31.000But some people, man, that must be maddening to know that, you know, your career has forced you to, in your later years, not be able to communicate right.
01:48:44.000You know the shot that I'll give you if you're standing like this getting the ball?
01:48:48.000You know when the guy grabs the ball and he gets it and I come from the fucking left or the right and I give you the kidney?
01:48:55.000So I don't blame it all on the fucking head shots.
01:48:58.000It's got to be a motherfucker to put your head down and to hit somebody.
01:49:02.000Even when it doesn't, your spine, something's got to be...
01:49:04.000And that controls, bro, that controls, you know, all the electrodes.
01:49:08.000That controls all the shit in your fucking, your body, that little spine.
01:49:12.000You know, I've told you many a times, the last two years before I stopped doing blow, at the end of the night, my fucking spine would hurt.
01:49:19.000The top of my fucking neck would hurt.
01:49:21.000It would give me a little voltage, like...
01:49:24.000So I knew it was starting to fuck shit up and you can't talk.
01:49:27.000I can't imagine, but I want to know if they know what they're going through.
01:49:31.000I want to know if you sit them down and go, how do you feel?
01:49:34.000And if they would say to you at times, I want to express myself, I can't.
01:50:18.000There's a certain amount of compromise you're going to get if you're involved in kickboxing or contact sports or football.
01:50:27.000Any time where you're getting head collisions over and over again, you're going to pay a price.
01:50:31.000It's like how much of the price you're going to pay.
01:50:33.000Is it just going to be like a weird little achy thing, like you might get a hurt wrist?
01:50:38.000Is it going to be like that in your brain?
01:50:40.000It's kind of annoying, but not that big a deal.
01:50:42.000Is it going to be that, or is it going to be something really serious, where your mouth doesn't work right, or you can't formulate certain words, where you struggle to try to put together a sentence, and you forget what you were talking about right in the middle of the sentence, and you're not even high.
01:55:03.000I haven't eaten an edible in a couple of days since Columbus.
01:55:06.000So you just ate a whole bag of popcorn and one of those.
01:55:08.000You're going to be crying in one hour.
01:55:09.000Dude, remember those cookies that guy gave us in Columbus, Ohio and you ate them right before you went on stage?
01:55:15.000Did you start feeling it while you were on stage?
01:55:18.000I think I remember you saying something about it while you were on stage.
01:55:21.000I felt it a little bit on some You know, whenever you eat an edible and you go on stage, you go to yoga, you go to jujitsu or whatever, the edible sits in you.
01:55:28.000But once that adrenaline mixes with the edible, you've got a different type of fucking savage in there.
01:55:33.000How about our friend that gave us those cookies in Chicago and you had a mild heart attack from them?
02:00:13.000If they're extracting fucking weed juice from weed, how long is it going to be until some motherfucker opens up a store and says, Joe Rogan, I'm going to put the shit you drink in the morning, and I'm going to mix it.
02:00:25.000I don't take weed juice with that, which is all natural.
02:00:27.000They're going to find out that weed juice mixed with the algae, the shit we drink in the morning, the shots.
02:00:35.000Well, you know that they say that when you juice weed or when you eat it, like you eat it like raw, it doesn't get you hot, but it's really good for your body.
02:01:06.000You know when you go to a grocery store and it has the off-brand that's like 89 cents and it tastes like Coke but flatter or just not as good?
02:02:17.000Do you guys know that this is one of the craziest fucking stories ever, and I think we've talked about this on the podcast, I'm not sure, but that the cocaine, you know, cocaine used to be in Coca-Cola.
02:02:33.000How nutty is that that there's like billions of dollars in cocaine being made by a company that extracts it from the leaves they use to make Coca-Cola?
02:02:45.000Like I said to you, it's the whole business.
02:02:47.000Once you tap into the whole thing and you learn how to control it, like, all right, the cartel in the 80s, Pablo Escobar, those guys there.
02:02:55.000When they were processing coke, that's what they were doing.
02:04:09.000That these guys are getting a pound, they turn half of it into Keefe, they turn the other half into edible, and the other half they sell it 20 a fucking gram.
02:06:24.000You know, Penn Jillette has a podcast now on Sundays on Adam Carolla's network, and it's called Penn Sunday School, and he went on this rant about how fucked up it is that marijuana is illegal and that people are in jail for it, and one out of six people in jail are in jail for marijuana.
02:06:40.000And he went on this fucking brilliant rant, man.
02:08:23.000I think it's something to do with class.
02:08:26.000A lot of people have accused Obama of class warfare, but in the wrong direction.
02:08:31.000I believe this is Obama chortling with Jimmy Fallon about lower class people.
02:08:38.000Do we believe, even for a second, anybody believe, that if Obama had been busted for marijuana under the laws that he condones, Would his life have been better?
02:08:52.000If Obama had been caught with the marijuana that he says he uses, and maybe a little blow, blow, cocaine, blow, this casual attitude toward drugs, a casual attitude toward drugs that makes him really cool!
02:09:24.000And if he had been busted under his laws, he would have done hard fucking time.
02:09:31.000And if he had done time in prison, time in federal prison, time for his weed and a little blow, he would not be president of the United States of America.
02:09:43.000And he would not have gone to his fancy-ass college.
02:09:47.000He would not have sold books that sold millions and millions of copies and made millions and millions of dollars.
02:09:53.000He would not have a beautiful, smart, Wife.
02:10:11.000Now, people bust me all the time for carrying on about how I've never had a sip of alcohol, never had a puff of marijuana, never done any drugs in my life.
02:10:20.000They say, why do you always bring that up?
02:10:22.000Well, maybe in this case it's okay to bring it up, okay?
02:13:19.000There's a way to do it and there's a way.
02:13:21.000Now, how the fuck are you going to get caught with fucking weed and not think you're going to go to jail if you live in fucking Ohio or in fucking Kentucky or wherever?
02:24:13.000And then two, use natural soap that doesn't fuck with the natural pH balance of your skin.
02:24:18.000You don't want to use antibacterial soap because that stuff actually kills the good bacteria as well.
02:24:23.000And what defense soap is, it has tea tree oil in it and all sorts of different eucalyptus, all sorts of different natural oils that are good for keeping the healthy flora of your skin safe from nasty cooties.