The Joe Rogan Experience - August 28, 2024


Joe Rogan Experience #2196 - Greg Fitzsimmons


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours

Words per Minute

184.88867

Word Count

33,357

Sentence Count

3,795

Misogynist Sentences

114

Hate Speech Sentences

91


Summary

Comedian and podcaster Joe Rogan joins Jemele to talk about his favorite hats, his favorite cigar bars, and why he hates going to the barber shop. Also, he talks about how he got into stand-up comedy and how he ended up in a movie that he didn't even know he was in. Joe also talks about the time he met a woman in a barber s chair and how she almost got him in a headlock. And he tells the story of how he almost got in trouble with the NYPD because he was wearing a baseball cap on stage. This episode was brought to you by LaCie. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions stated here are our own and not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated in any of our press releases. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. If you enjoyed this episode please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you re listening. It helps us to support our efforts to make quality, affordable and accessible content. Thank you. Best Fiends. Cheers. -Jon Sorrentino -Jemele and I are working on a new album out now! Joe Rogans -Joe Rogan - Thank you for being a good friend of mine, and I hope you enjoy this episode and tweet me what you think of it. I love you guys. Timestruck and I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for being kind! -Drew is a little bit more than I can be a friend and I appreciate you, too. -Josie and I will be back next week! -Jed is a big fan of yours, too! -Jon Rocha and I'm looking forward to seeing you back in the next episode. -Jon and I'll be back in LA next week. XOXO -Sophie -Tune in next week -Jodie Thanks for listening to this episode of this episode? -ROBERT AND RYAN OJOSIE AND JOSIE PODCAST? JOE ROGAN - JACOB RODAN & JOSH MILLER - JOSH WELCOME


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
00:00:12.000 Do it.
00:00:13.000 Headphones?
00:00:14.000 Why not?
00:00:16.000 Locks in.
00:00:19.000 I can't live without the headphones.
00:00:20.000 Every time someone doesn't want to wear headphones, I'm like, okay.
00:00:23.000 We don't have to.
00:00:25.000 You know?
00:00:26.000 Some people don't want to mess their hair up.
00:00:27.000 We don't have that problem.
00:00:29.000 Yeah.
00:00:30.000 That's my hat look.
00:00:31.000 It looks good.
00:00:31.000 I like it.
00:00:32.000 I like them paperboy hats.
00:00:34.000 Yeah.
00:00:34.000 I love those.
00:00:35.000 My favorite hats.
00:00:36.000 Yeah.
00:00:37.000 Well, the reason I do it is because I started wearing hats because after the show, people would take photos with me with my shaved head, and the light would just bounce off my chrome, and you couldn't see me in the photo.
00:00:48.000 So I realized that I wore baseball caps, but then when you're on stage, it puts a shadow over your face.
00:00:54.000 Right.
00:00:55.000 You can't see your face, so I started wearing these.
00:00:57.000 Yeah, I love those.
00:00:59.000 I like shaving the head, though.
00:01:00.000 I started during the pandemic...
00:01:02.000 Yeah, you should have done that a long time ago.
00:01:03.000 What's that side hair bullshit?
00:01:05.000 I know.
00:01:06.000 I know.
00:01:06.000 It's nonsense.
00:01:07.000 I feel so much better like this.
00:01:08.000 Also, you have to go to a barber?
00:01:09.000 What?
00:01:10.000 Right.
00:01:10.000 And listen to some stupid stories?
00:01:13.000 Oh, shit.
00:01:15.000 Fuck off.
00:01:15.000 Dude, when I was a teenager, there was a place in New York called the Stag Brothers, and there was these two Italian brothers, and they cut hair.
00:01:24.000 And you go in there, and the reason we all went, like our moms would drop us off out front, we'd go inside, and then they had penthouse magazines while you waited.
00:01:33.000 So you hoped that you got to wait for a while, and then they'd call you, and you got your little 15-year-old erection, you're trying to hide.
00:01:40.000 Put the cape over me!
00:01:42.000 Cover me!
00:01:44.000 I always felt like barbershops were guys hung out.
00:01:47.000 That's all just for people who don't play pool.
00:01:50.000 That was always my thought.
00:01:51.000 Like, I see what you're doing.
00:01:53.000 Like, you're getting a guy's place where guys can hang out and just talk.
00:01:57.000 Right.
00:01:57.000 But this is not the way to do it.
00:02:00.000 Because people come in, people you don't know come in, you can't tell some dirty story.
00:02:05.000 Right.
00:02:05.000 You know what I mean?
00:02:07.000 Yeah.
00:02:09.000 That seems to be big in the black culture.
00:02:11.000 I mean, obviously there's those movies, barbershop, but I mean, it really is a place that people hang out.
00:02:17.000 But now you got cigar.
00:02:19.000 Do you like hanging out in cigar shops?
00:02:20.000 Yeah, cigar bars are good.
00:02:21.000 I like it.
00:02:23.000 Because it's one of the rare places where you go to a cigar.
00:02:26.000 I used to love that place, the Grand Havana Room in Beverly Hills.
00:02:29.000 It's a great room.
00:02:29.000 People had their own humidors in there?
00:02:31.000 Yeah, I had a humidor for a long time.
00:02:33.000 And you could eat.
00:02:35.000 Like, nice meals and smoke a cigar.
00:02:37.000 Yeah.
00:02:37.000 Because it's a private club.
00:02:39.000 So you could have a steak, some pasta, and you're smoking a cigar at the table and everybody's doing it.
00:02:44.000 That's awesome.
00:02:44.000 Yeah, it was cool.
00:02:45.000 Yeah.
00:02:45.000 And it was a cool place.
00:02:46.000 You're like, oh, look at that guy.
00:02:47.000 Because it was in Beverly Hills.
00:02:49.000 Oh, it was a power spot.
00:02:50.000 I remember, like, Michael Rotenberg, remember from Three Arts?
00:02:54.000 Yeah.
00:02:54.000 Dave Becky.
00:02:55.000 He brought me there once and he had the humidor and he was just pointing up.
00:02:59.000 He was like, yeah.
00:02:59.000 That guy owns Warner Brothers.
00:03:01.000 Yeah.
00:03:02.000 That dude has an eight-picture deal over at Columbia.
00:03:05.000 Yep.
00:03:06.000 You know who I saw there once when I was kind of a little starstruck?
00:03:09.000 Remember that dude from...
00:03:11.000 What is the New York Blues?
00:03:14.000 What was it?
00:03:15.000 That NYPD Blue.
00:03:17.000 Yeah.
00:03:18.000 Remember NYPD Blue?
00:03:19.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:03:19.000 What's the dude's name?
00:03:20.000 Jimmy Smits?
00:03:22.000 No, no, no, no.
00:03:22.000 The first guy.
00:03:23.000 Jerry Orbach?
00:03:24.000 The first guy.
00:03:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:03:27.000 Dennis Franz?
00:03:28.000 No, no, [...
00:03:30.000 The redheaded guy.
00:03:32.000 Oh, yeah.
00:03:33.000 He ended up quitting to get a movie career that never happened.
00:03:37.000 Fuck, man.
00:03:38.000 I think they tanked that guy.
00:03:42.000 Yes.
00:03:43.000 What the fuck's his name?
00:03:44.000 The guy was good, man.
00:03:45.000 No, he quit because he thought he had a big movie career.
00:03:49.000 But this is the thing.
00:03:50.000 It didn't happen.
00:03:50.000 But you can't do that.
00:03:53.000 What's the guy's name, though?
00:03:55.000 No, not that guy.
00:03:56.000 That's Andy Sipowitz.
00:03:58.000 Or that's the character he played, right?
00:04:00.000 But the other guy.
00:04:04.000 Jesus Christ.
00:04:05.000 David Caruso?
00:04:06.000 Is that his name?
00:04:07.000 No.
00:04:07.000 That's the guy who produced the show, right?
00:04:09.000 Oh, I don't know.
00:04:12.000 Is that his name?
00:04:13.000 David Caruso.
00:04:14.000 It is his name, right?
00:04:15.000 Maybe.
00:04:16.000 What, doesn't it say the cast down there?
00:04:18.000 Yeah.
00:04:20.000 Yep, that's...
00:04:21.000 Oh, yeah, David Caruso.
00:04:23.000 Oh, it came down hard on him.
00:04:24.000 It came down hard on him.
00:04:26.000 That guy should have been a giant movie star.
00:04:30.000 Yeah.
00:04:30.000 Dude, he was really good on that show, but if you have that thing where you're like, fuck this, I'm quitting, I'm gonna be a star...
00:04:37.000 Bro, they want you to fucking fall flat on your face.
00:04:40.000 They're like, fuck this guy.
00:04:41.000 There's like 15 more guys like you in theater school right now.
00:04:45.000 15 more troubled guys from the inner city that have a gritty past and scars on their face.
00:04:52.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:04:53.000 And that's what they did to that guy.
00:04:55.000 Yeah, also he's a redhead.
00:04:57.000 Name a lot of redheaded leading men.
00:04:59.000 But he could have been the guy!
00:05:00.000 All the redheads are like, one guy gets cocky!
00:05:03.000 We had our guy!
00:05:05.000 We had our guy!
00:05:06.000 We had our major league.
00:05:08.000 We had a shot.
00:05:09.000 We had our fucking guy, man.
00:05:11.000 And instead they started the phrase, the word ginger, and took them all down.
00:05:16.000 That was brutal.
00:05:17.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:05:17.000 They were just redheads before then.
00:05:19.000 It was normal to be a redhead.
00:05:20.000 You weren't a freak.
00:05:22.000 No.
00:05:22.000 You were just a person with red hair.
00:05:23.000 No one cared.
00:05:24.000 Now they beat you up.
00:05:25.000 There's literally like bullying if you're a redhead.
00:05:28.000 I was a redhead.
00:05:29.000 Were you really?
00:05:30.000 I was a fucking copper top until I was probably about 11. That's so bizarre.
00:05:34.000 Your hair changed color?
00:05:35.000 Yep.
00:05:36.000 How weird is that?
00:05:37.000 It happened to my kids, too.
00:05:38.000 Both my kids were redheads, and their hair changed when they got older.
00:05:41.000 It's God letting you know I could have fucked you, but I'm going to let you slide.
00:05:46.000 It's like he got me in a headlock, and then he let me out.
00:05:48.000 I'm going to let you go.
00:05:49.000 Yeah, right.
00:05:50.000 Ooh.
00:05:53.000 He gave me a little dick and then it grew bigger.
00:05:55.000 Oh.
00:05:57.000 I remember having a little dick.
00:05:58.000 Oh no.
00:05:59.000 Oh, that was the worst feeling when you were a little kid and, you know, you just like...
00:06:02.000 Well, you see your dad's dick.
00:06:03.000 Yeah.
00:06:03.000 You're like, what the fuck?
00:06:04.000 I know.
00:06:04.000 What is that thing?
00:06:05.000 What the fuck?
00:06:06.000 And why is it always hard?
00:06:09.000 Men's dicks?
00:06:10.000 Like, when you're a boy, they're terrifying.
00:06:13.000 Like, ugh.
00:06:14.000 Like, see some guy pull out his fucking sausage roll when he's pissing right next to you, and you're a little kid, you're like, what the fuck does he do with that thing?
00:06:22.000 Yeah, and his balls are hanging, like, six inches down.
00:06:25.000 Like, Ari's balls, or Joey Diaz's balls.
00:06:27.000 Joey Diaz's balls are like grapefruit in an old lady's pantyhose.
00:06:30.000 Like, what the fuck am I looking at?
00:06:32.000 Those are your balls?
00:06:38.000 His balls look like him.
00:06:40.000 Just like cartoonish.
00:06:42.000 Just saggy.
00:06:43.000 Just fucking hilarious.
00:06:45.000 His balls are hilarious.
00:06:46.000 Oh my god.
00:06:47.000 Balls are hilarious.
00:06:48.000 Joey's balls are hilarious.
00:06:49.000 It's amazing that a woman...
00:06:51.000 Why would they have sex with us?
00:06:53.000 Our penis is awful.
00:06:55.000 Everything about us is gross.
00:06:56.000 Yeah.
00:06:57.000 We're not soft.
00:06:58.000 No.
00:06:58.000 We're not squeezable and lovable.
00:07:00.000 We're not comforting.
00:07:03.000 We're grunting.
00:07:04.000 We have an agenda.
00:07:06.000 Thick, dense, heavy thing on top of you that can kill you and you want it to fuck you.
00:07:11.000 What?
00:07:12.000 Right.
00:07:13.000 Why do they trust us?
00:07:15.000 Trusting us to not kill you?
00:07:16.000 Yeah, I know.
00:07:17.000 Imagine like if every woman could kill you.
00:07:19.000 Yeah.
00:07:20.000 All of them.
00:07:20.000 Every woman that you ever date can literally just strangle you to death and not a damn thing you could do about it.
00:07:25.000 That's what it's like being a woman.
00:07:27.000 Well, or a gay guy.
00:07:29.000 Well, gay guys can be strong.
00:07:30.000 No, I'm just saying it's weird that there is this accepted power dynamic between a man and a woman when they make love.
00:07:37.000 Because, like you said, the woman trusts.
00:07:40.000 But we have two guys.
00:07:42.000 It's kind of like, I don't know what it's like.
00:07:46.000 Tell me what it's like.
00:07:47.000 You know what it's like, son of a bitch.
00:07:48.000 You were just about to tell me what it was like.
00:07:50.000 You were about to break.
00:07:52.000 You know I almost did once, right?
00:07:54.000 How close did you get?
00:07:57.000 I've told this story on my podcast, but I'll give a brief version of it.
00:08:01.000 I went, when I was in college, I was an English major and I studied like Allen Ginsberg and Kerouac and all these guys that were into homoerotic stuff.
00:08:10.000 A lot of them were gay.
00:08:13.000 And even Emerson and Whitman, like all that old stuff.
00:08:16.000 It was all gay imagery.
00:08:17.000 And then there was David Bowie.
00:08:19.000 I loved David Bowie.
00:08:20.000 I loved Iggy Pop, Mick Jagger.
00:08:22.000 And these guys were all fucking around with each other.
00:08:24.000 And so I was like, alright, this must be Kind of something you do.
00:08:28.000 You experiment with this.
00:08:29.000 That's how they get you.
00:08:30.000 That's how they get you.
00:08:31.000 They get a couple mascots.
00:08:33.000 They get the coolest guy in rock and roll.
00:08:36.000 Right?
00:08:36.000 The three coolest guys in rock.
00:08:38.000 Ziggy Stardust.
00:08:39.000 Yeah.
00:08:40.000 And so I was not attracted to men.
00:08:43.000 I never have been.
00:08:44.000 I can appreciate a handsome man.
00:08:45.000 I think you're not hard on the eyes.
00:08:47.000 Thank you.
00:08:47.000 And then I was like, all right, so I guess I'm not going to take it up the ass.
00:08:51.000 Right.
00:08:51.000 Maybe kiss a little bit.
00:08:52.000 No, I didn't even want to do that.
00:08:54.000 Suck a cock?
00:08:54.000 Suck a cock.
00:08:56.000 And then I realized, like, I'm going to do it, and when I do it, it's either going to be like, ugh, or it's going to be like, oh my god, this is fucking amazing!
00:09:06.000 This is incredible.
00:09:07.000 This is what I've been missing.
00:09:08.000 And so I was drunk one night.
00:09:11.000 I was like a junior in college.
00:09:13.000 And my apartment, remember the Fenway in Boston?
00:09:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:09:17.000 The Fenway was like a wooded area.
00:09:19.000 Like, every city has a small wooded area.
00:09:22.000 Where they grow trees for the reason for anonymous gay sex.
00:09:26.000 The Brambles in Manhattan, you got Griffith Park in LA, there's always like a little gay area.
00:09:32.000 So my apartment happened to be, it was on Boylson Street, it was across the street from the Fenway.
00:09:37.000 So I'm stumbling home one night, it's like three in the morning, and I look at the woods and I go, fuck it.
00:09:43.000 I'm going to do it.
00:09:44.000 Wow.
00:09:45.000 So I walk in and I'm looking around.
00:09:48.000 I'm like, I don't know the protocol.
00:09:49.000 I don't know how it works.
00:09:50.000 I'm just waiting.
00:09:51.000 And then all of a sudden it's like fucking leaves are blowing and there's shadows.
00:09:55.000 And then this guy just pops out from behind a tree like a little gay leprechaun.
00:10:00.000 He's like, I'm the guy.
00:10:01.000 I was like, all right, I guess he's the guy.
00:10:04.000 Wow.
00:10:04.000 And he walks over, and we look at each other, and then he unzips his pants, he pulls out his cock, and I'm just looking at it, and then he pulls his balls out.
00:10:13.000 And I look at the balls, and I was like, nope.
00:10:17.000 No interest.
00:10:19.000 I'm fucking out.
00:10:20.000 That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life.
00:10:22.000 And so I got scared, because now I'm alone in the woods with a guy with his dick out, and so I just pushed him away from me.
00:10:28.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:10:29.000 And he fell down, and then he jumped up, and he just sprinted back into the woods with his dick flopping around.
00:10:34.000 I just stumbled out, and I was like, I guess I can't do that.
00:10:38.000 Ow!
00:10:39.000 Ow!
00:10:39.000 He had some poison ivy the next day.
00:10:41.000 What did people used to do when they didn't have covers over their dick, and they had to run through the woods?
00:10:44.000 Right.
00:10:45.000 That's a real problem, man.
00:10:47.000 Yeah.
00:10:48.000 Ow!
00:10:49.000 Ow!
00:10:51.000 If you have pants on, and you run through the woods, your dick gets whacked by twigs and shit, but it's...
00:10:58.000 Kind of okay.
00:10:59.000 And the vagina's got protection.
00:11:01.000 It's got curtains and walls and blinds and...
00:11:04.000 A girl got kicked in the pussy the other day in a UFC fight.
00:11:07.000 And sorry for using the term pussy.
00:11:10.000 Ladies, in this term, it's really not a pussy.
00:11:14.000 It's a woman's vagina, right?
00:11:15.000 Yes.
00:11:15.000 Cage fighter.
00:11:16.000 Yes.
00:11:17.000 And they went down and, you know, they stopped the fight and give the person time to recover.
00:11:21.000 And I thought about it.
00:11:22.000 I was like, that's interesting because...
00:11:25.000 I guess it's just you can't hit genitals, but there's a giant difference between balls.
00:11:32.000 Girls can take a pretty good shot to the pussy.
00:11:34.000 Can they?
00:11:34.000 Yeah, unfortunately.
00:11:36.000 Yeah.
00:11:36.000 Yeah, like if they fall and it hurts, just like it hurts your ass bone.
00:11:41.000 Yeah.
00:11:41.000 It hurts if you hurt your dick.
00:11:42.000 That hurts.
00:11:43.000 But the balls.
00:11:45.000 Yeah.
00:11:45.000 I was trying to explain to my wife and daughters were asking me what it's like to get kicked in the balls.
00:11:51.000 And I was like, I've been kicked in the balls a hundred times, at least.
00:11:55.000 I've been kicked in the balls so many times, because I grew up kicking.
00:11:59.000 So I got kicked in the balls by dudes who are really good at kicking.
00:12:04.000 There has been many times in my life where I wasn't sure if my dick was going to work anymore.
00:12:09.000 Like one time I got kicked in the balls so bad that one of my nuts swole up.
00:12:13.000 So my right nut, I think it was my right nut, I got kicked in a tournament.
00:12:17.000 Yeah.
00:12:19.000 I threw a kick and this guy threw a kick under my kick and Slammed it into my cup and this is a guy from the Korean national team.
00:12:27.000 He was really good.
00:12:28.000 He kicked me fucking hard.
00:12:31.000 Yeah They gave me timeout and continued the fight, but I knew it really hurt.
00:12:37.000 I lost the fight and And then as I was driving home, I was with my girlfriend, and I was thinking at the time, I was like, I don't know if this thing works anymore.
00:12:47.000 Yeah.
00:12:47.000 Because it was so painful.
00:12:49.000 So I got home and jerked off.
00:12:51.000 And as soon as I jerked off, I'm like, oh, we're good.
00:12:54.000 Yeah.
00:12:55.000 Victory.
00:12:55.000 It works.
00:12:56.000 That was the best orgasm of your life.
00:12:58.000 So that's the weird thing about the cup, isn't it?
00:13:01.000 I've done that.
00:13:01.000 This is how stupid I am.
00:13:02.000 I've done that twice.
00:13:03.000 Another time I got kneed in the dick.
00:13:05.000 I was doing jujitsu and I didn't have a cup on.
00:13:08.000 The last time I trained without a cup on.
00:13:11.000 This guy's passing my guard.
00:13:13.000 It's a standard technique.
00:13:15.000 He wasn't doing it maliciously.
00:13:16.000 You shove your knees through the guard when someone's passing your guard.
00:13:20.000 The guard is the legs.
00:13:22.000 So your legs are wrapped around a person.
00:13:24.000 You're trying to work a submission from the bottom.
00:13:26.000 And they're trying to pass to get to a better...
00:13:28.000 Because in the guard, it's very difficult to submit someone when you're in their guard.
00:13:31.000 You want to get out of their guard.
00:13:33.000 And then it's a more dominant position to submit.
00:13:34.000 So he's trying to pass my guard.
00:13:36.000 So he shoves his knee through.
00:13:37.000 And his knee caught my dick flat.
00:13:41.000 Just, like, smashed my dick.
00:13:44.000 I'm like, ah!
00:13:45.000 It fucking hurt like hell.
00:13:47.000 But I didn't think anything of it.
00:13:48.000 It was, like, kind of normal for that stuff to happen when you're training hard with guys who are really good.
00:13:54.000 And then afterwards, I go to the locker room, and there's blood in my jockstrap.
00:13:59.000 I'm like, ah, fuck.
00:14:01.000 So my dick is bleeding out my dick hole.
00:14:04.000 So I'm like, okay.
00:14:06.000 What would I do if this was my nose?
00:14:08.000 I was like, I would just go home.
00:14:09.000 It's just a bloody nose.
00:14:11.000 Like, am I being a pussy because it's my dick?
00:14:13.000 It's a bloody dick?
00:14:13.000 It's just like, we'll give it the night, and if it feels bad tomorrow, we'll go to the doctor.
00:14:19.000 So I get home, and I'm like, well, how do I know if it works?
00:14:23.000 So I jerked off.
00:14:24.000 I jerked off, and blood came out with it.
00:14:29.000 No!
00:14:29.000 Yeah, and this is how, because I did it kind of clinical, because I want to know, so I did it into the toilet.
00:14:34.000 So I jerked off into the toilet.
00:14:39.000 While I'm doing it, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
00:14:43.000 You're so broken.
00:14:45.000 You're such a crazy person.
00:14:47.000 And then I was like, I think it works.
00:14:49.000 It's all good.
00:14:50.000 And so the next day, I made sure I didn't get infected.
00:14:52.000 Next day, I was like, just checking.
00:14:54.000 Make sure everything's good.
00:14:55.000 Didn't hurt.
00:14:56.000 Did you jerk off again?
00:14:57.000 No.
00:14:57.000 I let it go for a couple days.
00:14:59.000 Just leave it alone.
00:14:59.000 I didn't want it to be sore.
00:15:01.000 But it was fine.
00:15:02.000 It was fine.
00:15:03.000 So some blood vessel burst just like it would burst in your mouth.
00:15:06.000 Yeah.
00:15:06.000 I get fat lips all the time.
00:15:08.000 You know, you're always getting cuts in somewhere.
00:15:11.000 Damn.
00:15:11.000 I just treated it like that.
00:15:13.000 But it was scary.
00:15:15.000 I wonder if I hurt that guy's dick in the woods that night.
00:15:18.000 Probably.
00:15:19.000 Branches whacked that thing.
00:15:20.000 Ow!
00:15:21.000 Fucking squirrels thinking it's nuts diving at it.
00:15:25.000 Imagine a fucking gopher just grabbing a hold of your dick.
00:15:28.000 A gopher.
00:15:29.000 They could chew through a tree.
00:15:31.000 You know people who've died from gophers before?
00:15:33.000 No.
00:15:34.000 Yes!
00:15:34.000 A lady died recently.
00:15:36.000 She got bit by a gopher.
00:15:38.000 Just bled out.
00:15:39.000 Wow.
00:15:39.000 Bro, they chew through trees.
00:15:41.000 Yeah.
00:15:41.000 And their teeth never stop growing.
00:15:44.000 They have to chew on things to wear their teeth out.
00:15:46.000 Yeah.
00:15:47.000 Otherwise it'll just go right through their fucking face.
00:15:50.000 Yeah, gophers will fuck.
00:15:52.000 We went upstate.
00:15:53.000 We just had my 25th anniversary this month.
00:15:55.000 Congratulations.
00:15:55.000 Thank you.
00:15:56.000 So we went up to Vermont and upstate New York, me and my wife.
00:16:00.000 It's beautiful up there.
00:16:01.000 Oh my god.
00:16:02.000 Except for the people.
00:16:03.000 Other than that, it's beautiful.
00:16:04.000 Yeah, we didn't see a lot of them.
00:16:06.000 People are odd.
00:16:06.000 We saw very few people.
00:16:07.000 People that live in those states are odd.
00:16:09.000 We went to a farmer's market.
00:16:11.000 50 people.
00:16:12.000 Yeah.
00:16:12.000 They're odd.
00:16:13.000 We were staying in a little town.
00:16:14.000 Some friends of mine moved out there.
00:16:17.000 They kind of retired and decided to take up farming.
00:16:19.000 So they moved out to this farm.
00:16:21.000 In Vermont?
00:16:21.000 In Vermont.
00:16:22.000 They look like they're from Vermont too, right?
00:16:24.000 They all look like – you could pick them out of a lineup.
00:16:26.000 Well, we went to the farmer's market and it really was like – it was like a caricature.
00:16:30.000 It's like the dudes that look like if you push them, they would just crumble.
00:16:35.000 They have like Birkenstocks on.
00:16:36.000 Everybody looks like Bernie Sanders.
00:16:37.000 Everyone's got tie-dye shirts on, and it's just like, good for you guys.
00:16:41.000 You got your spot.
00:16:43.000 Yeah, they got a spot.
00:16:44.000 You can be you right here.
00:16:45.000 You just got to tolerate the winters.
00:16:47.000 If you can tolerate the winters, you're in the most uber-progressive, but really kind for the most part.
00:16:53.000 It's like an idyllic sort of environment.
00:16:57.000 There's douchebags everywhere you go.
00:16:59.000 No, and they're involved with all this communal farming.
00:17:02.000 They're kind people.
00:17:02.000 Yeah, they all pitch in.
00:17:03.000 They help each other out.
00:17:05.000 My friends have a bunch of land, so they let these other farmers graze their animals on the land.
00:17:11.000 Dude, then we went up into the woods, and my friends become an expert on hunting for mushrooms.
00:17:16.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:17:17.000 You ever do that?
00:17:17.000 Those people will get you killed.
00:17:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:17:19.000 Because there's some that look good, and they're not.
00:17:22.000 I know.
00:17:23.000 There's a whole nursing home incident happening.
00:17:26.000 A few years back, some guy was like, I'm an expert mushroom picker.
00:17:30.000 Got some mushrooms and cooked them up for everybody and they all died.
00:17:32.000 No!
00:17:33.000 Yeah!
00:17:34.000 Some of them will kill you quick.
00:17:36.000 Yeah, we stuck to the chanterelles.
00:17:38.000 Yeah, those are obvious.
00:17:40.000 Morels are real obvious.
00:17:41.000 Those are great.
00:17:41.000 Then they have these ones called lobster mushrooms that actually look like lobster and they taste like lobster.
00:17:47.000 Really?
00:17:47.000 Yeah, it's freaky.
00:17:48.000 Did you eat them with butter?
00:17:49.000 We sliced them up and sauteed them.
00:17:52.000 We had them with pasta.
00:17:52.000 Wow.
00:17:53.000 Yeah.
00:17:54.000 There it is.
00:17:55.000 Sacramento Bee.
00:17:56.000 In addition to the untimely deaths of Barbara Lopez and Teresa...
00:18:00.000 Try saying that name.
00:18:02.000 Alasinowitz...
00:18:03.000 Four others were sickened after they're given a wild mushroom soup prepared by a caregiver who also consumed the poisonous potage.
00:18:10.000 Caregiver and three elderly residents were hospitalized.
00:18:13.000 Boy, that guy's never cooking for them again.
00:18:16.000 Fuck.
00:18:17.000 You can get really sick from mushrooms.
00:18:21.000 Really sick.
00:18:22.000 Like, you could die, like, quickly from some of them.
00:18:25.000 Some of them are super toxic.
00:18:26.000 Isn't it amazing, like, when you think about, with the death penalty, how they can never fucking do it?
00:18:30.000 They zap people and they survive, or they shoot them up and they survive, and it's like, give them some fuck.
00:18:36.000 Oh, it happens all the time.
00:18:37.000 Really?
00:18:38.000 I thought they all just died.
00:18:39.000 No, a lot of times they fuck up and they have to do a few passes at it.
00:18:44.000 Isn't it funny that they don't shoot them?
00:18:47.000 Yeah.
00:18:48.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:18:49.000 There's so many ways to kill somebody effectively.
00:18:52.000 Yeah.
00:18:53.000 You just need a tarp and a shotgun.
00:18:55.000 Yeah.
00:18:55.000 And it's over.
00:18:57.000 And like the old days, the shooting squads, only one person would have live ammunition so that nobody felt the guilt.
00:19:03.000 You'd have like four or five shooters, and they didn't tell you who was the live round.
00:19:07.000 Oh, really?
00:19:08.000 Yeah.
00:19:09.000 I thought it was a couple guys had duds.
00:19:11.000 Yeah, maybe a couple.
00:19:12.000 Yeah, because you need more than one guy.
00:19:14.000 What if that one guy just hits him in the ear like the guy did Trump?
00:19:17.000 Yeah, I know.
00:19:18.000 Fuck.
00:19:19.000 And the guy's like, what the fuck is going on?
00:19:21.000 You all missed?
00:19:22.000 This is crazy.
00:19:23.000 Maybe God has spoken.
00:19:25.000 Yeah.
00:19:25.000 God has said, I shouldn't be killed.
00:19:28.000 That's like some of these action movies, you see them fucking running around shooting at each other, and you go like, wait a minute, this guy was just on a rooftop with a sight, hitting somebody from 300 yards away, and now he can't hit him?
00:19:39.000 He's fucking running down the street, and they're missing each other with 20 shots?
00:19:42.000 A lot harder, though.
00:19:44.000 A lot harder.
00:19:45.000 Yeah.
00:19:46.000 A sniper shot is all just about not having any excess movement.
00:19:51.000 Right.
00:19:51.000 And controlling your breath.
00:19:53.000 Yeah.
00:19:53.000 So when a sniper shoots, they're prone for the most part, meaning they're lying down.
00:19:57.000 So you cut out all the movement.
00:19:59.000 Yeah.
00:20:00.000 Your shoulder's rested.
00:20:02.000 You ever seen a sniper shoot?
00:20:03.000 Yeah.
00:20:04.000 Their shoulders rested.
00:20:05.000 You know, they have the stock pressed against their body, and all they're doing is controlling this finger and not flinching and controlling their breathing and keeping that.
00:20:15.000 Because, you know, a lot of these guys can shoot from a mile away now.
00:20:20.000 A mile away.
00:20:22.000 And do they factor in gravity on the bullet?
00:20:24.000 They factor in a bunch of different things.
00:20:26.000 A lot of times they're using apps.
00:20:29.000 You can use an app.
00:20:31.000 And you also use an app for the wind.
00:20:34.000 So you want to know which way the wind's blowing.
00:20:36.000 And where to hold, you know, and then you have a scope that's dialed out, like it's zeroed out at a very specific yardage, whatever it is.
00:20:46.000 So you can just put the crosshair where it is.
00:20:48.000 A lot of times, if someone's hunting, they would do it like zeroed out at 100 yards.
00:20:52.000 So it effectively would be up or down maybe four inches and 300 yards or 400 yards.
00:20:58.000 Wow.
00:20:58.000 Yeah, so a really fast shooting, flat shooting rifle, you zero them out.
00:21:03.000 So this guy's got to zero this thing out at a fucking, how many thousand yards is a mile?
00:21:10.000 How long is that?
00:21:11.000 What is that in yards?
00:21:14.000 12. So I've heard of guys shooting 1500 yard shots.
00:21:20.000 15, no shit.
00:21:22.000 Yeah, so there's so much equipment.
00:21:24.000 It has to be so dialed in.
00:21:28.000 I mean, they're sighting in these things on ranges, and it's so specific.
00:21:34.000 It's 1,700, sorry.
00:21:35.000 1,700, okay.
00:21:37.000 That's so crazy.
00:21:38.000 That's so far away.
00:21:39.000 That's so far away, you can barely see it.
00:21:42.000 So they're looking through this insane scope on this rifle, and they've got this crosshair on some dude's head that's a mile away, and they go, boom.
00:21:50.000 And then you just wait.
00:21:52.000 Takes a second.
00:21:53.000 Yeah, I think it takes two seconds.
00:21:55.000 How many seconds does it take for, let's say, a 300 Win Mag.
00:22:04.000 300 Win Mag at 1700 yards.
00:22:07.000 A standard, like, high-powered rifle round that they would use.
00:22:12.000 I don't know if that's what they would use for snipers.
00:22:14.000 Like, those guys are very, the long-range guys are very different than any other kind of shooter.
00:22:19.000 Yeah.
00:22:20.000 They're all about the science and the tech and all the stuff that's involved in getting the win.
00:22:27.000 I have a buddy of mine who does long-range shooting.
00:22:29.000 He's not a tactical.
00:22:30.000 He's just a gun enthusiast who likes long-range shooting.
00:22:33.000 He does competitions.
00:22:34.000 And they just shoot steel.
00:22:36.000 And you hear, boom!
00:22:38.000 Ding!
00:22:40.000 It's like quite a long while afterwards.
00:22:42.000 Yeah.
00:22:43.000 So like if you're shooting an animal and it's walking, it's super unethical.
00:22:47.000 Yeah.
00:22:47.000 Because you don't know what that thing's going to do.
00:22:50.000 And the time between you shooting the gun, like with a bow and arrow, you never shoot at a walking animal.
00:22:55.000 Okay.
00:22:56.000 Because they're moving.
00:22:57.000 Right.
00:22:57.000 Or if you do, you have to be a real expert and you would lead.
00:23:01.000 You would like shoot them in the front of the shoulder to get into the vitals as they're walking.
00:23:06.000 But that's like...
00:23:07.000 That's an added element of, woo, anything can happen.
00:23:11.000 How much adjusting do you do when you're shooting a crossbow, as far as wind and distance?
00:23:16.000 Crossbows are a little bit more accurate, and they shoot a bolt.
00:23:21.000 Instead of an arrow.
00:23:23.000 So it's smaller, and it's probably because it's smaller, it's not going to have as much effect by wind.
00:23:30.000 It's going to have less to move around, less mass to move around.
00:23:35.000 They're very fast though.
00:23:36.000 Those bolts are way faster than an arrow.
00:23:39.000 Like an arrow, if you have a really fast bow, your arrow is probably going to go between 300 and 340 feet per second.
00:23:52.000 That's normal.
00:23:53.000 That's normal for a high-speed bow.
00:23:55.000 But for a crossbow, what's the fastest crossbow?
00:24:00.000 I bet it's like 500 plus.
00:24:03.000 And then you also have a scope on a crossbow and a trigger.
00:24:06.000 It's much more accurate.
00:24:08.000 You could just put that thing on, bang, bang, bang.
00:24:12.000 It's way more accurate at 100 yards.
00:24:15.000 And you can go pop, pop, pop fast?
00:24:18.000 Nah, you can't.
00:24:19.000 No, you'd have to reload it.
00:24:21.000 Oh, you reload each shot?
00:24:22.000 Yeah, you have to reload each shot.
00:24:24.000 There's one guy who invented a thing for a compound bow.
00:24:27.000 It's kind of crazy.
00:24:28.000 It's like it's all these arrows stacked in.
00:24:32.000 He's got like this device and you draw it back and you can shoot one arrow after another.
00:24:37.000 600 feet per second.
00:24:40.000 That's like when you took me shooting.
00:24:41.000 Remember when we went shooting up in the valley at that guy's ranch?
00:24:45.000 Yes.
00:24:45.000 And he had a—it was a shotgun, but he set it up like an AK-47, so you could go—you could shoot a shotgun, but like— Yeah, terror tactical.
00:24:56.000 Yeah.
00:24:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:24:58.000 Dude, that was the...
00:24:59.000 You're like, you want to shoot tomorrow?
00:25:01.000 I was like, yeah, I figured we're going to some range with a bunch of, you know, yuppies, shoot, and IZOD shirts and flip-flops, and I walk out, and we drive down.
00:25:10.000 I get off the highway, We're good to go.
00:25:30.000 And we get down there, and what was the guy's name that runs it?
00:25:33.000 Taron.
00:25:33.000 Yeah, holy shit.
00:25:34.000 He taught Keanu Reeves for all the John Wick movies.
00:25:38.000 He taught Halle Berry when she was in John Wick.
00:25:41.000 He teaches anytime a celebrity needs to learn how to look like a real assassin, they go to that guy.
00:25:48.000 Yeah.
00:25:48.000 He's a multiple-time champion, and you know when they have a course, and you run the course, and they time you, and you...
00:25:57.000 That guy wins all those fucking things.
00:26:00.000 Really?
00:26:00.000 Oh, he's a wizard.
00:26:01.000 Yeah, he's revered for his prowess with a gun.
00:26:04.000 Is he a military guy?
00:26:05.000 No, I don't think so.
00:26:06.000 He's just a psycho.
00:26:08.000 And what about the women?
00:26:09.000 Where do they come from?
00:26:10.000 I think that's a social media ploy.
00:26:12.000 And then a lot of those women are real actual competitors.
00:26:15.000 They do those same sort of competitions.
00:26:18.000 They just happen to be tense.
00:26:19.000 Have you ever seen those gun competitions?
00:26:20.000 No.
00:26:21.000 Well, they're fun to watch.
00:26:22.000 See if you can find one of those where they run a course.
00:26:25.000 So they time them and it's all about accuracy and speed.
00:26:29.000 But if you're a hot chick and you can get involved in something that's a primarily male thing, what is the ratio of male gun enthusiasts to female gun enthusiasts?
00:26:41.000 Is it seven to three?
00:26:44.000 Oh, way more.
00:26:46.000 I'm being nice.
00:26:47.000 Yeah, you're being very nice.
00:26:47.000 I'm being real nice.
00:26:48.000 So if you're a hot chick in yoga shorts and you're also awesome with a gun, You get a lot of attention.
00:26:54.000 No, one of the biggest social media accounts is this girl who's a super hot, full-figured golfer.
00:27:01.000 Oh, of course.
00:27:02.000 Oh, she's huge.
00:27:03.000 Of course, yes.
00:27:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:27:05.000 If you're hot in that world, a world of dopey men, that's a great ploy.
00:27:13.000 It's a good move.
00:27:14.000 It's like being one of those women that attracts Cher or Bette Midler.
00:27:22.000 That attracts gay guys?
00:27:23.000 That attracts gay guys.
00:27:24.000 That's the best draw.
00:27:26.000 Chelsea Handler.
00:27:27.000 Like, they all get all these gay guys showing up.
00:27:30.000 And they spend money.
00:27:31.000 They got that, you know, no children money kicking around in their pockets.
00:27:36.000 Yeah.
00:27:37.000 Yeah.
00:27:38.000 No children money is real money.
00:27:40.000 Although now most have children.
00:27:42.000 Do you know that those guys get divorced the least?
00:27:46.000 I love that.
00:27:47.000 That's amazing.
00:27:48.000 The ratio is, correct me if I'm wrong, with male-female, it's like 50%.
00:27:55.000 But it's skewed.
00:27:56.000 It's not really 50%.
00:27:57.000 What it is is a lot of people are serial divorcees.
00:28:00.000 Okay.
00:28:01.000 So they get married and get divorced, get married and get divorced.
00:28:03.000 Like the amount of people that stay together...
00:28:06.000 It's probably higher than 50%, but there's a bunch of Jennifer Lopez's out there fucking up the curve, you know?
00:28:11.000 There's a bunch of people that get like four or five marriages, five, six, seven marriages.
00:28:15.000 People are out of their minds, right?
00:28:16.000 Yeah.
00:28:18.000 Then there's lesbians.
00:28:20.000 That's real high.
00:28:21.000 That's like 70 plus percent.
00:28:23.000 Of divorced.
00:28:24.000 Yeah, 70 plus percent.
00:28:26.000 But then there's gay guys.
00:28:27.000 Gay guys, I think it's 26% divorce ratio.
00:28:31.000 Oh shit.
00:28:31.000 Yep, super low.
00:28:32.000 Dude, because you get to hang out with a dude.
00:28:36.000 You get to hang out.
00:28:37.000 I would love to marry you.
00:28:38.000 We would have such a good time.
00:28:40.000 We'd have so much fun.
00:28:41.000 We'd have fun all the time.
00:28:43.000 It's just like chicken out every time it was time to suck your dick.
00:28:46.000 I'd be like, sorry, man.
00:28:47.000 I don't like how that thing looks.
00:28:49.000 You'd be like, shit.
00:28:50.000 Your balls.
00:28:51.000 I should have dressed my balls up nice for Greg.
00:28:56.000 Yeah, gay guys, they're hanging out with guys.
00:28:58.000 I mean, I joked around about it in my special, that I wish I was gay.
00:29:02.000 If that's what you liked, you're hanging out with a bunch of guys.
00:29:06.000 Sounds fun, as long as they're not annoying.
00:29:09.000 An annoying girl is not as annoying as an annoying guy.
00:29:15.000 Annoying guys can be a real problem.
00:29:18.000 Like aggro-annoying guys?
00:29:20.000 Yeah.
00:29:21.000 They're worse than anything.
00:29:23.000 You never feel comfortable.
00:29:25.000 You're always in this state of, oh, God.
00:29:28.000 They're always trying to one-up everybody.
00:29:30.000 Something could happen here.
00:29:31.000 Something stupid.
00:29:33.000 This guy could break a bottle and drink from it.
00:29:35.000 There's morons out there.
00:29:37.000 Yeah.
00:29:38.000 Annoying guys are dangerous.
00:29:39.000 Uh-huh.
00:29:40.000 Annoying girls are just usually just annoying.
00:29:42.000 Right.
00:29:43.000 Just an annoying human.
00:29:44.000 They don't have that element of this could be dangerous.
00:29:48.000 That's a good point.
00:29:49.000 Yeah.
00:29:49.000 Especially if they're big.
00:29:51.000 Big drunk guys are scary.
00:29:53.000 Yeah.
00:29:53.000 They get those gopher eyes.
00:29:56.000 Their pupils go away.
00:29:57.000 They just look like a fucking zombie.
00:30:00.000 I wonder what the stats are on drunk driving between men and women.
00:30:02.000 I bet it's so much higher with dudes.
00:30:05.000 Just crazy dudes.
00:30:06.000 I don't know.
00:30:06.000 Because a lot of girls are like, I can fucking do it.
00:30:09.000 I can fucking do it.
00:30:12.000 But then men are like, I'm not even drunk, bro.
00:30:16.000 Yeah.
00:30:17.000 My dad used to drunk drive.
00:30:18.000 Crazy.
00:30:19.000 He crashed a car into a tree and died and they brought him back to life.
00:30:23.000 She's in the emergency room for weeks.
00:30:25.000 Men are four times more drunk driving-related accidents than women.
00:30:31.000 Drunk male drivers caused 80% of the drunk driving fatalities documented.
00:30:36.000 Holy shit.
00:30:38.000 81% of people arrested for drunk driving were men.
00:30:41.000 Only 19% were women.
00:30:43.000 How many of those women just had big tits?
00:30:45.000 And they, Ma'am, we'll take you home.
00:30:49.000 You live by yourself.
00:30:53.000 Yeah, cops have a weakness for drunk women, for sure.
00:30:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:56.000 Well, there's some fucking hilarious body cams out there of girls going, I'll do anything.
00:31:01.000 Please, please don't arrest me.
00:31:03.000 I'll do anything.
00:31:04.000 Yeah.
00:31:05.000 What was the one where she goes, don't you want to help out a pretty woman?
00:31:10.000 And he goes, well, if I see one, I'll help her out.
00:31:14.000 You never saw that?
00:31:15.000 I didn't see that one.
00:31:16.000 I never know how many of them are real these days.
00:31:20.000 Because I think these days there's a lot of people who fake police interactions and they do stuff for clout.
00:31:25.000 They stage things for clout.
00:31:27.000 They'll make a viral video of a fake fight.
00:31:31.000 People throwing things at each other.
00:31:32.000 All for clout.
00:31:34.000 I like the one with the father and the son.
00:31:37.000 They always do these big crazy physical stunts where they destroy the living room and have a fight and they scream at each other.
00:31:44.000 But it's so real.
00:31:45.000 I bought it the first two times and I was like, oh no, they're not fighting this often, this hard.
00:31:52.000 They wouldn't still be living together.
00:31:53.000 Right.
00:31:54.000 But it's so funny.
00:31:55.000 Oh, that's funny.
00:31:56.000 Yeah, you can trick people today.
00:31:57.000 There's a lot of fake stuff going on.
00:32:02.000 A lot of fake.
00:32:03.000 How many war footage videos were out where people go, that's from a video game?
00:32:08.000 Like, what?
00:32:09.000 Well, I guess Faces of Death, a lot of those were fake.
00:32:11.000 Yep.
00:32:12.000 Yeah, a lot of them.
00:32:14.000 The war footage stuff is crazy because that's how good the video games are.
00:32:18.000 Those video games are so good today that you watch, especially if you're looking at it on your phone, right?
00:32:23.000 Especially my eyes.
00:32:24.000 My eyes aren't that good.
00:32:25.000 And I'm looking at some fucking jet getting shot down.
00:32:28.000 I'm like, wow, that's crazy.
00:32:29.000 Look at how high res that is.
00:32:31.000 Kudos to the camera guy.
00:32:33.000 Then I'm like, oh, it's a video game, you fucking idiot.
00:32:37.000 Well, how much longer until like, you know, the AI nudes are so fucking real.
00:32:43.000 Oh, yeah.
00:32:44.000 And now they're making AI nude videos, not just stills.
00:32:49.000 Yeah.
00:32:49.000 Well, they can do AI porn for sure.
00:32:51.000 Yeah.
00:32:52.000 I mean, I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it exists because they can do AI scenes with human beings that are indiscernible.
00:32:59.000 You cannot tell.
00:33:00.000 It's gone.
00:33:01.000 The Sora, the newest technology, have you seen it?
00:33:04.000 No.
00:33:05.000 Bring that one up, Jamie, of the Tokyo Street.
00:33:08.000 So they have this footage that is all just a prompt, right?
00:33:13.000 So they put in a prompt to this AI, like drone footage of Tokyo Street while it's snowing.
00:33:19.000 And this...
00:33:21.000 Video is entirely fake, and it looks exactly like someone flew a drone over Tokyo.
00:33:28.000 The people are moving in random manners.
00:33:30.000 They're moving at different speeds.
00:33:32.000 They look natural.
00:33:33.000 Look at this.
00:33:34.000 This is all fake, dude.
00:33:37.000 Six months old.
00:33:38.000 I think there's newer stuff now too.
00:33:40.000 So it's even better than this.
00:33:41.000 Look at that.
00:33:42.000 This is insane.
00:33:44.000 Look how good the texture looks on the snow, like on how it varies.
00:33:49.000 I mean, look, all the people, the fucking...
00:33:53.000 It's just wild, man.
00:33:56.000 This is the stuff that we know about.
00:33:59.000 For sure, they have some new version of this that they just haven't released to the public yet.
00:34:05.000 Well, and also how it's affecting the entertainment business.
00:34:09.000 Tyler Perry just was about to build a billion dollar studio in Atlanta.
00:34:14.000 It's because of that.
00:34:15.000 No, then he saw that and he canceled the plans.
00:34:17.000 He's like, we don't need...
00:34:19.000 Right.
00:34:27.000 Right.
00:34:31.000 Right.
00:34:40.000 They don't want to have to keep paying extras.
00:34:42.000 So we'll own all their faces.
00:34:45.000 Yeah, they stand and they get shot in a green screen from like eight different angles for a half an hour and then they own them for life.
00:34:53.000 This is newer.
00:34:53.000 This is 11 days old, it says it was posted by OpenAI.
00:34:56.000 Jesus Christ, man.
00:34:58.000 They're all looking at a UFO. This is bananas.
00:35:02.000 This is completely bananas.
00:35:04.000 Yeah.
00:35:05.000 This is all AI generated.
00:35:06.000 Not to mention the scripts are going to be mostly AI generated.
00:35:09.000 Oh yeah, 100%.
00:35:10.000 But that's the thing I'm saying about this, that when they're doing this stuff and putting this stuff into a prompt, it's easy.
00:35:20.000 It's instantaneous.
00:35:22.000 Yeah.
00:35:23.000 And so what they were trying to do with these background, like imagine you're a background guy, you know, you just moved to Hollywood, you know, you want to get work as an actor, so you decide to take a background gig in a movie.
00:35:35.000 You sign this thing off, but then you wind up becoming successful.
00:35:39.000 That's how almost all actors get started.
00:35:41.000 Sure.
00:35:41.000 They start as background people or work on the crew.
00:35:44.000 They get auditions.
00:35:45.000 That's Harrison Ford.
00:35:46.000 He was a fucking carpenter, right?
00:35:48.000 But now they have your likeness for the rest of your life, and they can just shove you in in movies.
00:35:54.000 Hey, why is Harrison Ford in that fucking movie?
00:35:56.000 Yeah.
00:35:56.000 Oh, well, Harrison Ford was an extra, you know?
00:35:58.000 Wow.
00:35:59.000 Yeah, fuck that.
00:36:01.000 So they don't need to shoot new stuff.
00:36:02.000 They can use old footage of people.
00:36:04.000 Dude, they don't need anything anymore.
00:36:06.000 They could do John Wayne movies, but really sophisticated, like, Tarantino, John Wayne movie.
00:36:12.000 Like, they could do that right now.
00:36:13.000 Like, someone in AI using this program, maybe not now, maybe five months from now, can make a John Wayne Tarantino film.
00:36:23.000 Like, make a Western, but in the style of Quentin Tarantino with the same type of dialogue.
00:36:29.000 Uh-huh.
00:36:30.000 Like, that Robert Rodriguez would direct with him.
00:36:33.000 Yeah.
00:36:33.000 And put that together.
00:36:34.000 And they can make it in the style of these guys.
00:36:37.000 They just look at Kill Bill, look at Reservoir Dogs.
00:36:40.000 Okay, we...
00:36:41.000 You kinda know what he's into?
00:36:42.000 Okay.
00:36:44.000 Bam!
00:36:45.000 And it's moody, it's dark, there's rain dripping from the ceiling, you're looking at the gun before he shoots the guy, the pupils dilate, the fucking, the pores, guy's got a pockmarked face from acne scars.
00:37:00.000 I mean, they can do everything, man.
00:37:02.000 It looks like a real movie.
00:37:05.000 And a movie is a little easier to do than video.
00:37:08.000 I would think.
00:37:09.000 Because in a movie, you make the background blurry.
00:37:11.000 It's a little softer, yeah.
00:37:12.000 That's a weird thing.
00:37:14.000 We like films that doesn't look real.
00:37:19.000 We like a film where when you're talking, everybody in the background is blurry.
00:37:24.000 I don't want to see everybody in the background crystal clear.
00:37:28.000 No, I remember the first time I got a high-def TV, it threw me.
00:37:32.000 I was like, this looks fake.
00:37:34.000 Everything looks fake.
00:37:35.000 Yeah, everything was too much in my face.
00:37:37.000 And I think Tarantino still shoots on film.
00:37:40.000 Yeah.
00:37:40.000 I think his films are all done on film.
00:37:43.000 I think the problem with video is it's too good.
00:37:46.000 Yeah.
00:37:47.000 It's too good.
00:37:48.000 Like soap operas.
00:37:49.000 Like, don't they shoot those on film or on video?
00:37:52.000 They shoot them on video.
00:37:53.000 It's probably cheaper.
00:37:53.000 I'm sure it's video because the editing is so much easier.
00:37:56.000 When you edit film, you have to convert it and then edit it and then convert it back again.
00:38:01.000 Oof.
00:38:02.000 And so when you, like, I've written on TV shows that were film.
00:38:05.000 And first of all, you can't do as many takes in a row because you have to change the reels on the cameras.
00:38:11.000 Yeah.
00:38:11.000 So you get to get in, you know, two or three takes and you got to stop down for five minutes and reload.
00:38:16.000 I'm pretty sure news radio is film.
00:38:19.000 Yeah, I'm sure it was.
00:38:20.000 Yeah, 90%.
00:38:21.000 And I think Fear Factor was not.
00:38:24.000 Usually multi-camera is when you're in a studio, like Everybody Loves Raymond or something like that.
00:38:29.000 That's usually shot digitally.
00:38:31.000 I think they tried to do it digitally, like one episode or something.
00:38:35.000 God, maybe I'm remembering.
00:38:36.000 Maybe it was something else I did.
00:38:37.000 But I remember they were trying to make this transition.
00:38:41.000 But people didn't like the way it looked.
00:38:42.000 There was a video, an advertisement the other day, with Tom Cruise and someone else, and they were talking about the settings on your television.
00:38:50.000 That if you have the settings on your television set from the factory incorrectly, it can make these brilliant films look too much like video.
00:39:01.000 Because of whatever funky, you know, shit they're doing to make the television look clearer and crisper, which is great in most things, but it's not great when you're watching a film that's been sort of designed to get you to focus on specific things and have the background more blurry.
00:39:17.000 Right.
00:39:18.000 Like, I remember the first time I saw one of the Star Wars films, like Return of the Jedi or one of those, and I saw it on a high-resolution big-screen TV. I was like, this looks like Dog shit.
00:39:31.000 Yeah.
00:39:31.000 The background was so fake.
00:39:33.000 It was so clearly like a painting of a spaceship in the background.
00:39:37.000 It looked so corny.
00:39:38.000 But in the movies, it looked perfect.
00:39:39.000 Yeah, right.
00:39:41.000 Yeah, I was going to shoot my special on film.
00:39:44.000 I actually was talking to Kodak and getting the reels, and it was going to be three times more expensive to shoot it on film.
00:39:50.000 Oof.
00:39:51.000 But think about, like, Live at the Sunset Strip.
00:39:54.000 Oh, yeah.
00:39:55.000 I mean, it felt like you were in the room.
00:39:57.000 You could smell it and feel it, you know?
00:39:59.000 It's also a time capsule, too, though, right?
00:40:02.000 There's something about that where you're like, God, Richard Pryor was like 35 back then.
00:40:06.000 Look at him.
00:40:07.000 Look at the crowd.
00:40:08.000 Look at the audience.
00:40:09.000 This is wild.
00:40:10.000 What was it like back then?
00:40:11.000 Imagine being alive back then and sitting in that audience back then.
00:40:15.000 Like, fuck.
00:40:16.000 Right.
00:40:18.000 Is there any good footage of Lenny Bruce?
00:40:20.000 There's some.
00:40:21.000 A lot of black and white stuff.
00:40:23.000 I would love to see that.
00:40:24.000 Yeah, there's a lot of unfortunate footage.
00:40:26.000 That was him when he was kind of going crazy at the end of his life.
00:40:28.000 He was just reading from transcripts of his trial.
00:40:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:40:32.000 Did you ever see those?
00:40:32.000 Yeah, that's bad.
00:40:34.000 They're weird.
00:40:34.000 Yeah.
00:40:35.000 They're weird.
00:40:36.000 Yeah.
00:40:36.000 Because people don't know what they're listening to.
00:40:38.000 Like, why am I listening to this?
00:40:40.000 He became obsessed with his trial.
00:40:42.000 Uh-huh.
00:40:43.000 Trials.
00:40:44.000 You know, they were putting that guy in jail for doing something we do every night.
00:40:48.000 Mm-hmm.
00:40:48.000 Which is really crazy.
00:40:50.000 Yeah.
00:40:50.000 Really crazy.
00:40:53.000 Yeah.
00:40:54.000 There we go.
00:40:55.000 From 1965. I'm happy alone, don't you see?
00:41:03.000 I've convinced you.
00:41:05.000 I don't know how to get so dramatic about it.
00:41:07.000 You're better off alone, man.
00:41:08.000 I gotta...
00:41:09.000 That's it.
00:41:10.000 I'm gonna get a whole bunch of new suits.
00:41:11.000 You know, I've had the same dumb suit for 10 years.
00:41:15.000 You walk in her closet, you can't even breathe.
00:41:18.000 That's it.
00:41:19.000 I'll get a whole bunch of suits.
00:41:19.000 I'll get a chick that likes to hang out, man.
00:41:22.000 I'll get a...
00:41:23.000 I'll have a vodka party.
00:41:25.000 That's my vodka party.
00:41:26.000 Swing it up, ball it up.
00:41:27.000 I'll get a chick...
00:41:27.000 I'll get a chick who likes to drink.
00:41:31.000 Boy, my wife sure used to look good standing up against the sink.
00:41:36.000 She's the lowest, though.
00:41:39.000 I really put her down.
00:41:40.000 No.
00:41:41.000 No, I really miss her.
00:41:43.000 I don't want some sharp chick that can coat Kerouac and walk with poise.
00:41:48.000 I just want to hear my old lady say, get up and fix the sink.
00:41:53.000 It's still making noise.
00:41:56.000 All alone.
00:41:58.000 All alone.
00:42:02.000 Like a near-sighted dog wears the bones.
00:42:06.000 This isn't probably the best example.
00:42:08.000 I don't know why you picked that, but the oldest version of him.
00:42:12.000 I like that fucking suit.
00:42:13.000 Yeah.
00:42:14.000 It is a sharp suit.
00:42:16.000 That is, uh...
00:42:18.000 You know what's great?
00:42:19.000 The Dustin Hoffman film where he plays him.
00:42:22.000 He did a fucking phenomenal job.
00:42:25.000 He did.
00:42:25.000 He did a fucking phenomenal job.
00:42:27.000 Dustin Hoffman nailed it.
00:42:29.000 He nailed it.
00:42:30.000 It's tough to play a comedian when you're not a comedian.
00:42:32.000 There's something you can't put your finger on about the rhythm of it.
00:42:35.000 Well, you know they're faking it.
00:42:36.000 Well, you know who's not bad?
00:42:38.000 Have you seen that show, Hacks?
00:42:40.000 No.
00:42:40.000 Jean Smart?
00:42:41.000 No.
00:42:42.000 She's fucking good.
00:42:43.000 Yeah?
00:42:43.000 She's a great actress, but she pulls it off.
00:42:47.000 Well, the lady who did Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
00:42:49.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:49.000 She pulled it off.
00:42:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:50.000 She pulled it off.
00:42:51.000 Yeah.
00:42:52.000 That was Joan Rivers it's based on, basically, right?
00:42:55.000 I don't know.
00:42:56.000 It seems like it's the same time.
00:42:58.000 It seems a little.
00:42:59.000 I think maybe.
00:43:00.000 Yeah.
00:43:01.000 Maybe an influence, but I think it's a pretty unique fictional story of someone who's friends with Lenny Bruce.
00:43:06.000 Hacks is definitely based on Joan Rivers.
00:43:09.000 Oh, really?
00:43:09.000 Because she has a whole QVC line and it's a lot of the same stuff.
00:43:13.000 But then the woman that plays, she's got like this writer who's like her, she writes for her and goes on the road with her, played by Lorraine Newman's daughter.
00:43:21.000 Oh, wow.
00:43:22.000 I can't remember her name, but she's fucking great.
00:43:25.000 You know what the best conspiracy theory about Joan Rivers is?
00:43:28.000 What?
00:43:28.000 That she was killed because she outed Michelle Obama for being a man.
00:43:32.000 Oh, gosh.
00:43:34.000 Midge Maisel from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel was inspired by real-life comedian Joan Rivers, sharing similarities in their upbringing, education, and performing at the Gaslight Cafe in New York.
00:43:43.000 Hmm.
00:43:48.000 She nails it though.
00:43:49.000 Yep.
00:43:50.000 Rachel Brosnahan, is that how you say her name?
00:43:52.000 Yeah, she's so talented.
00:43:53.000 She nails it.
00:43:53.000 I think she's won at least two Emmys for that show.
00:43:56.000 Yeah, she nails it.
00:43:57.000 The first season and the second season are amazing.
00:44:00.000 I trailed off in the third season.
00:44:02.000 I bailed off in the third season also.
00:44:04.000 You know what it got?
00:44:04.000 It got very shticky.
00:44:06.000 It got very Jewish sounding.
00:44:08.000 Almost like a Neil Simon play.
00:44:10.000 I want to see the struggle in her trying to make it because it's kind of crazy that this housewife decides to become a comedian and she's actually really talented and kind of wild and crazy.
00:44:19.000 But then once she starts making, I'm bored.
00:44:21.000 Yeah.
00:44:22.000 Because now you're in nonsense land.
00:44:23.000 Right, right.
00:44:24.000 Now she's going to be glamorous or she's doing USO tours.
00:44:27.000 Like, shut the fuck up.
00:44:27.000 Yeah.
00:44:28.000 You know who's great in that show is Kevin Pollack.
00:44:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:31.000 Yeah, he's really strong.
00:44:31.000 He is great in that.
00:44:33.000 He's one of those guys that just like...
00:44:35.000 He could do anything.
00:44:36.000 You've ever seen his IMDB page?
00:44:38.000 He's done hundreds of roles.
00:44:40.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:44:41.000 He's played bad guys, good guys.
00:44:42.000 Yeah.
00:44:43.000 He's a good comic, too.
00:44:45.000 He is?
00:44:45.000 Yeah, it's hard for people to pull off because you've got to really be doing it.
00:44:52.000 Because if you're not really doing it, I know you're not really doing it.
00:44:54.000 If it's not really making the audience laugh, even if you had to do your act and there was a crowd of people that were paid to laugh at your act, So you have to do your act.
00:45:04.000 They see you do it over and over and over again.
00:45:06.000 Take five.
00:45:07.000 And they have to, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:45:09.000 I'm going to know you're not connecting with them.
00:45:11.000 I'm going to know they're not connecting with you.
00:45:13.000 You're never really going to be able to do that in a movie unless the guy actually does stand-up.
00:45:18.000 Yeah.
00:45:18.000 Like if Louis C.K. was going to do a movie about a comic, he would have to do stand-up.
00:45:23.000 And you know he used to do that in Louis, right?
00:45:25.000 Yeah.
00:45:26.000 In Louis, at the beginning of the show, he would do a little stand-up.
00:45:29.000 Well, he actually did the stand-up, though.
00:45:33.000 That was actual real stand-up.
00:45:34.000 I think Seinfeld, too, did that.
00:45:36.000 He got real audiences.
00:45:37.000 The only way to do it.
00:45:39.000 If you have a movie and you have a bunch of people that are being paid to sit and be audience members, the whole dynamic is fucked.
00:45:45.000 It's never going to be real.
00:45:47.000 It has to be real.
00:45:49.000 You'd have to just bring in crowds.
00:45:51.000 Just bring in a bunch of crowds.
00:45:53.000 Have a comic do it and film it at a theater, film four shows.
00:45:58.000 There's no way you're going to do it.
00:45:59.000 You have to actually do it this way.
00:46:01.000 And you might have to swap out the crowds because you're doing multiple takes.
00:46:04.000 Just bring in a new one after two hours.
00:46:06.000 Yeah.
00:46:06.000 Well, instead of doing multiple takes, what you would do is you would just film all the stand-up and then splice it into the show or the movie.
00:46:12.000 That's what you would do.
00:46:13.000 Oh, right, right.
00:46:13.000 That's the only way to do it and make it real.
00:46:15.000 Remember, what was it?
00:46:17.000 Tom Hanks' one punchline was so bad.
00:46:19.000 It was terrible.
00:46:19.000 It's Halley Field.
00:46:20.000 Oh, my God.
00:46:21.000 They had lockers at the comedy club.
00:46:23.000 Everybody had their own locker.
00:46:25.000 You and I had just started back then.
00:46:27.000 Because that was when that was going on.
00:46:29.000 And I remember thinking, God, the difference between real life and these fucking movies is so crazy.
00:46:34.000 But it was also, when they were doing stand-up, it wasn't funny.
00:46:37.000 It wasn't real.
00:46:38.000 It wasn't locked in.
00:46:41.000 You know?
00:46:41.000 No, and he hadn't.
00:46:42.000 And it's always that same storyline every comic, which, you know, like, there's an element of truth to it, but, like, they're starting out, they've got a shtick, and then somebody, an older person pulls by and goes, hey, man, you gotta just be yourself.
00:46:57.000 You gotta use your own voice.
00:46:58.000 And then all of a sudden they go up with no script, but they just are themselves.
00:47:02.000 I mean, they did it in Maisel.
00:47:04.000 But it's true.
00:47:05.000 I mean, it is true to a certain extent, but they just hit it so hard.
00:47:08.000 But she had material in Maisel.
00:47:08.000 Yeah.
00:47:09.000 She had a lot of shit that was on her mind.
00:47:11.000 She had stories, right?
00:47:12.000 Yeah, she wanted to tell those stories that she thought were hilarious.
00:47:14.000 Yeah.
00:47:15.000 That was a little different, but Punchline was just nonsense.
00:47:18.000 Oh, my God.
00:47:19.000 Although, I heard a story.
00:47:21.000 You remember Lucian Holt from the comic strip?
00:47:22.000 Look at them all.
00:47:24.000 Wait there.
00:47:25.000 Oh, that's Taylor...
00:47:27.000 That's the locker room I was showing you.
00:47:28.000 Taylor something.
00:47:29.000 He was super talented.
00:47:32.000 Yeah.
00:47:32.000 He was a super nice guy, too.
00:47:34.000 Fuck, what was his last name?
00:47:35.000 He died a few years back.
00:47:36.000 Yeah.
00:47:38.000 Negron?
00:47:39.000 Taylor Negron?
00:47:40.000 That's it.
00:47:41.000 Funny dude.
00:47:43.000 Very nice guy.
00:47:44.000 Came up to me to improv one night and we had a cool conversation.
00:47:47.000 But Lucian Holt brought me to his apartment.
00:47:50.000 Lucian Holt, by the way, he had mixed feelings because anytime you're a club booker, you're going to have a certain number of people that just are not a fan because they didn't get passed.
00:47:59.000 But Lucian was an amazing guy.
00:48:02.000 He was a curator of...
00:48:04.000 Eddie Murphy of Chris Rock.
00:48:06.000 He was the guy that brought people through the strip.
00:48:09.000 Adam Sandler.
00:48:10.000 Yeah.
00:48:11.000 And he brought me to his apartment one time, and he had wall-to-wall videos.
00:48:14.000 This was back when everything was half-inch VHS tapes.
00:48:19.000 Walls of everybody's first times.
00:48:21.000 Wow.
00:48:22.000 And so he showed me when Tom Hanks came in for Punchline, he only did stand-up for like three nights.
00:48:28.000 And he came into this strip and he did it.
00:48:31.000 And I gotta be honest, like he came in and he had some written material and he fucking did good.
00:48:37.000 And then someone heckled and he like annihilated them and then got back into the material.
00:48:42.000 I was like, fuck this guy.
00:48:45.000 This is him?
00:48:47.000 Oh, is that the tape?
00:48:48.000 1987. Yeah.
00:48:49.000 ...fighting for the love of his son by arm wrestling a bald guy.
00:48:54.000 Stallone is back.
00:48:55.000 Stallone enters an arm wrestling competition.
00:48:57.000 Now, do you think Stallone wins the competition by any chance?
00:49:05.000 Is this the most exciting thing to make a movie about, arm wrestling?
00:49:12.000 You know, you can bet this bald guy is going to get Stallone over like this at some point.
00:49:19.000 They're going to have the close-ups.
00:49:21.000 The hand, the eye, the hand, the eye.
00:49:25.000 Dude, first time.
00:49:26.000 Pretty fucking good.
00:49:28.000 Pretty fucking good.
00:49:29.000 With the pauses.
00:49:31.000 Yeah, timing.
00:49:39.000 See, they should have used that in the movie.
00:49:41.000 Exactly.
00:49:42.000 Make it look grainy.
00:49:44.000 But no, no, no, no.
00:49:45.000 It doesn't have to be grainy, but that.
00:49:47.000 Film him actually doing stand-up.
00:49:49.000 Yeah.
00:49:49.000 That's what you should have done.
00:49:50.000 Yeah.
00:49:50.000 So it's not that he sucked, because right there he just did it, but he was at Flip the Top.
00:49:56.000 Nobody knows how to use these goddamn things.
00:49:59.000 It's amazing how many people, you give them a Calibri lighter and they just...
00:50:02.000 Well, it's like man discovering fire.
00:50:06.000 So if they use that...
00:50:08.000 I would have bought that movie.
00:50:09.000 That would have been a much better movie.
00:50:11.000 How did they not know that?
00:50:13.000 If you're doing a film on stand-up, and you're going to have comics, you could have just had them doing stand-up.
00:50:19.000 Actually do stand-up.
00:50:20.000 Just get a comedy club.
00:50:22.000 You say, Tom Hanks is going to perform.
00:50:25.000 It's going to sell out.
00:50:26.000 And you say, oh, and ladies and gentlemen, you guys are going to be in a movie.
00:50:29.000 Please do not heckle.
00:50:31.000 And have a great show.
00:50:33.000 I'm like, oh my god, we're going to be in a movie.
00:50:34.000 This is amazing.
00:50:35.000 You'd be extra excited, all happy.
00:50:38.000 It would be great.
00:50:38.000 It would have been a great movie.
00:50:39.000 Yeah.
00:50:40.000 But maybe, you know, Sally Field's jokes were terrible in that movie.
00:50:44.000 Awful.
00:50:45.000 I'd like to see her set.
00:50:46.000 You know who wrote all the jokes?
00:50:47.000 Who?
00:50:48.000 Barry Sobel.
00:50:50.000 Did he do it on Purposely Bad?
00:50:51.000 No, I think they gave him like five minutes.
00:50:54.000 I don't know.
00:50:55.000 He was in it.
00:50:56.000 He used to kill it back then.
00:50:58.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:59.000 When I first started coming to the store, he was one of the big names there.
00:51:01.000 Yeah, he was on MTV a lot back then.
00:51:03.000 I remember that was the guy from Punchline.
00:51:04.000 But it was quite a while afterwards, right?
00:51:07.000 So this was like 94, and that movie was like 88. And he was still kind of doing that same kind of character.
00:51:14.000 That was the weird thing about the store in 94. It's like...
00:51:19.000 You know when a wave hits a shore and then pulls back, you see like Driftwood and shit just gets stuck on the beach?
00:51:28.000 That was the story in 94. Yeah.
00:51:31.000 Because Kinison was this wave and Kinison and that movement was this wave that washed over comedy in Hollywood.
00:51:39.000 And then Kinison left the store, and then Kinison died in a car accident.
00:51:43.000 And then I came to the store like two years later, and it was like beach wood.
00:51:49.000 You know, it was like fucking driftwood and bottle caps and shit.
00:51:53.000 It's like there was a lot of guys there that should have not been doing stand-up anymore.
00:51:58.000 They had been doing the same act for 30 years.
00:52:01.000 It was weird.
00:52:02.000 I was like, this is the comedy store?
00:52:06.000 Like, this is weird.
00:52:07.000 And there was 18 people in the crowd.
00:52:09.000 And then, like, Dom Herrera would go up.
00:52:11.000 Or someone legit would show up.
00:52:12.000 Or Damon Wayans would show up.
00:52:13.000 And you'd go, oh, there's still some good guys here.
00:52:15.000 There's still some good guys here.
00:52:16.000 But it was...
00:52:18.000 When Kinnison was around, it was packed!
00:52:21.000 Because there was, like, this vibrant energy to comedy in Hollywood.
00:52:25.000 And I miss that wave.
00:52:26.000 God, I wish I could have seen it.
00:52:28.000 Imagine that Robin Williams popping in.
00:52:30.000 Nuts.
00:52:31.000 Fuck.
00:52:32.000 I hope he doesn't do my material.
00:52:35.000 Yeah, he was in the crowd one night.
00:52:36.000 I was at the Comedy Cellar, and he was in the crowd, just for some reason.
00:52:41.000 He was drunk.
00:52:42.000 It was like he had had a lapse, and he started heckling me, but in a playful way.
00:52:47.000 He wanted to improv and fuck around.
00:52:50.000 So I did.
00:52:51.000 I played with him.
00:52:52.000 I don't know where I got it in me, but I was shitting on him for being Mork from Ork, and he was laughing.
00:52:57.000 He didn't jump up on the stage, which would have been fucking sweet.
00:53:01.000 And then he hung out after.
00:53:02.000 I met him a few times.
00:53:03.000 Fucking sweetest guy in the world.
00:53:05.000 And not at all how he is on stage.
00:53:08.000 Like very sweet, very minimal, calm, very much like interested in you, like asking you questions.
00:53:14.000 Yeah.
00:53:14.000 I met him once at the improv and I didn't know I was talking to him until like a couple minutes into our conversation.
00:53:21.000 Oh shit.
00:53:22.000 So I did a show at the improv, then afterwards I was taking pictures.
00:53:26.000 So I was in the front bar and there's a line of people just taking pictures, saying hi to people.
00:53:30.000 And this guy comes up and he said, that was really wonderful.
00:53:33.000 I really, really loved this one bit.
00:53:36.000 And he's talking to me about this bit.
00:53:37.000 He's like, that bit, it's like, God, the courage to say that.
00:53:40.000 And I'm like, this is Robin Williams.
00:53:43.000 He had a big white beard and a hat on.
00:53:46.000 And I didn't realize, well, thank you, man.
00:53:49.000 I really appreciate it.
00:53:51.000 And thank you for coming.
00:53:52.000 He goes, yeah, I really wanted to watch your set.
00:53:53.000 It was really fun.
00:53:54.000 Wow, that's pretty cool.
00:53:56.000 I was like, wow.
00:53:57.000 It was cool.
00:53:58.000 But I was like, this is the craziest thing.
00:53:59.000 He didn't introduce himself.
00:54:01.000 I'm Robin Williams.
00:54:02.000 He waited in line.
00:54:04.000 Nobody noticed that he was in line.
00:54:05.000 Because he had this big beard.
00:54:07.000 A big beard and glasses and a hat on.
00:54:10.000 And it took me like...
00:54:11.000 I was like, oh shit.
00:54:14.000 Super nice guy.
00:54:15.000 Super nice guy.
00:54:17.000 I wish there wasn't that joke-stealing thing connected with him, but I think...
00:54:21.000 In his defense, I think he was kind of crazy.
00:54:24.000 I don't think he remembered he was doing it.
00:54:26.000 I think it was just like, it was sticky.
00:54:28.000 Jokes were sticky to him.
00:54:30.000 And then they came up because he was improvising.
00:54:32.000 And I read this article about him.
00:54:34.000 That's a nice, that's a hopeful way.
00:54:38.000 You hope he didn't know he was doing it.
00:54:40.000 It was like, fuck it, I'm doing it anyway.
00:54:41.000 I want to make it.
00:54:42.000 He used to steal so much from Rick Overton that he was getting, he would just call his manager and be like, he did it again.
00:54:50.000 And they just cut him a check.
00:54:52.000 But it was like, you know, money doesn't cover it.
00:54:55.000 That's your tool belt.
00:54:56.000 That's taking somebody's...
00:54:57.000 It could be the difference between you making it and not making it, right?
00:55:00.000 You can have one bit.
00:55:02.000 Like sometimes for a comic, it's one bit that you base an entire career on.
00:55:06.000 And you have this one bit, and this bit shows you that with the proper focus and a subject where you're really connected to it, you can come up with a banger.
00:55:14.000 So I can...
00:55:16.000 And you can headline and close with that.
00:55:18.000 And if some guy just does that on TV... They have just hamstringed your act.
00:55:24.000 Like, you don't have a closer anymore.
00:55:26.000 And maybe you base other stuff on that bit.
00:55:28.000 Like, maybe it's like you point to it at previous times so that the end part is even funnier because it's kind of a callback.
00:55:36.000 Yeah.
00:55:38.000 I've seen it happen to guys.
00:55:40.000 Where their career just tanked.
00:55:42.000 You remember Larry Miller's closing bit on the 10 stages or how many stages of being drunk?
00:55:52.000 He closed with that shit for years and people demanded it because it was an act out so you didn't get sick of seeing it.
00:55:59.000 And he honed it over the years.
00:56:01.000 I mean, he's such a craftsman.
00:56:02.000 He's such an exacting performer and such a precise writer.
00:56:08.000 And then I saw some guy doing that I was like, dude!
00:56:12.000 I mean, I hate to bring up Mencia, but it was like that thing with Cosby, with the football thing.
00:56:16.000 Like, dude, that's like exact.
00:56:20.000 Not only that, it's a legendary bit.
00:56:22.000 Yeah.
00:56:22.000 That's what's crazy.
00:56:24.000 But I think people did things before they understood the internet.
00:56:29.000 Because they didn't understand that there's going to be real consequences.
00:56:32.000 It's not just some people talking about things.
00:56:35.000 It's a video that shows the bit by Cosby and then your bit back to back.
00:56:42.000 There's a thing that happened because of the internet where it wasn't a rumor anymore.
00:56:46.000 It was like you could just see it right in front of your face and go, Oh!
00:56:51.000 There's no way!
00:56:52.000 Well, especially when it's more than one bit and they put a compilation together, then it's like, wow.
00:56:57.000 Also, there's a thing that happens with those guys where you see there's a stark contrast between the material they steal and the material they write themselves.
00:57:08.000 Like, the material they write themselves, it doesn't make any sense.
00:57:12.000 It's like they're doing a caricature of the guy who was killing with the jokes with that same attitude.
00:57:18.000 But now you have nothing connected to it, but you have all this confidence.
00:57:22.000 But it doesn't make any sense.
00:57:23.000 And when they get caught, then they have to do their own stuff.
00:57:27.000 And usually it's a fucking drop off a cliff.
00:57:32.000 It's a drop off a cliff, the difference between the early stuff where they weren't stealing, or they were stealing rather, and the later stuff where they have to write their own stuff.
00:57:40.000 Well, also, when you get guys that aren't just taking—and not just guys, women, obviously—who aren't just taking the jokes, but they're taking the persona.
00:57:49.000 Like, how many guys did we see being Bill Hicks back in the day?
00:57:53.000 Well, there was a sign in the green room of the punchline in Atlanta.
00:57:57.000 Quit trying to be Hicks.
00:57:58.000 Oh, really?
00:57:59.000 Yeah.
00:58:00.000 The back green room of the punchline in Atlanta was awesome because there was a bunch of people that signed the wall.
00:58:08.000 The walls were all signed.
00:58:09.000 And it was like, wow, Mitch Hedberg.
00:58:11.000 And this big sign, somebody wrote, quit trying to be Hicks.
00:58:14.000 That's awesome.
00:58:15.000 Yeah.
00:58:16.000 That was a great club, Atlanta Punchline.
00:58:19.000 Perfect club.
00:58:19.000 Perfect old wooden club.
00:58:22.000 Perfect club.
00:58:23.000 And it had, they must have done comedy 30 years there easily.
00:58:27.000 They moved to a, it's funny because it's not as big of a place and it's connected to like a diner, but it's still kind of got the magic of the old Punchline.
00:58:38.000 That's great.
00:58:39.000 Atlanta crowds.
00:58:40.000 We did a nice theater in Atlanta one time.
00:58:42.000 Yeah.
00:58:42.000 Remember that?
00:58:43.000 Yeah, that was fun.
00:58:43.000 That was fun as shit.
00:58:45.000 Yeah.
00:58:45.000 Atlanta's great.
00:58:46.000 It's a great comedy place.
00:58:47.000 Yeah.
00:58:48.000 It sucks they had to lose that original spot, though.
00:58:53.000 That original spot was so perfectly designed.
00:58:55.000 I think it was literally crumbling by the end.
00:58:58.000 Was it?
00:58:58.000 Yeah.
00:58:58.000 Oh, the building was falling apart?
00:59:00.000 I think it was a teardown, yeah.
00:59:01.000 And I just like, there's something about old clubs where you really can feel the history.
00:59:06.000 Oh yeah, like Zaney's.
00:59:07.000 Zaney's in Nashville.
00:59:08.000 Yeah, and the Punchline in San Francisco.
00:59:11.000 Denver Comedy Works.
00:59:13.000 I'm there next week.
00:59:14.000 Yeah, you feel it in the walls.
00:59:15.000 Yeah.
00:59:17.000 It's like so many people have laughed there.
00:59:19.000 So many people have had good times there.
00:59:21.000 It's like burned into the building.
00:59:22.000 And also, I think the staff, you can tell a great club because you go back year after year and it's the same staff.
00:59:29.000 Yeah.
00:59:29.000 You know, you got people that, you know, it's a waitress that she's been working there 20 years, but she's got a day job, but she's like, fuck that.
00:59:35.000 I'm still coming in on Friday nights because these are my friends, you know?
00:59:39.000 And I get to see all the comics that I've loved over the years.
00:59:42.000 Yeah.
00:59:45.000 All those clubs.
00:59:46.000 And then you go to some of these bigger clubs where they're like a chain and the turnover is fast.
00:59:52.000 Yeah.
00:59:52.000 There's a big difference.
00:59:53.000 Yeah.
00:59:54.000 It's also, it's like, you have a regular job at a restaurant or something like that.
00:59:59.000 Yeah.
00:59:59.000 Isn't that boring?
01:00:01.000 Yep.
01:00:01.000 Isn't that boring?
01:00:03.000 Go see comedy, have fun, laugh, everybody's drinking.
01:00:06.000 It's a festive environment.
01:00:08.000 Even if you're not listening to the comic, if someone's killing, you're in the room and someone's killing, it feels good.
01:00:12.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:00:13.000 She's got some good energy to it.
01:00:14.000 I know.
01:00:15.000 And it's also, my niece moved out to San Diego and I got her a job as a waitress at the comedy store in La Jolla.
01:00:21.000 Oh, wow.
01:00:22.000 And so she hit the ground running because like...
01:00:24.000 You know, you don't know people, and all of a sudden she's working with a staff of people that are all fun as shit, and they work together, and then they all go out for drinks afterwards, and now she's got a real job, and she's still working there one or two nights a week.
01:00:36.000 That comedy store in La Jolla is another one of those places.
01:00:38.000 It's a classic room.
01:00:40.000 Classic room.
01:00:41.000 You can kill in that room.
01:00:43.000 Yeah, I know.
01:00:44.000 Quite a few people have done specials there.
01:00:47.000 Well, I think the store is actually setting out to do a bunch of specials down there.
01:00:51.000 They've got some good people that they've kind of hired to do a production wing of the store.
01:00:56.000 It's a perfect room.
01:00:58.000 Yeah.
01:00:58.000 Perfect room.
01:01:00.000 It's actually even better than the OR because there's less people going in.
01:01:04.000 There's less noise.
01:01:05.000 The OR has the problem with that hallway.
01:01:07.000 That hallway sucks.
01:01:08.000 And it's also not LA. Right.
01:01:11.000 So you've got a little bit of a better cross-section of people.
01:01:13.000 Yeah.
01:01:14.000 Yeah.
01:01:14.000 More fun.
01:01:15.000 Yeah.
01:01:16.000 Less pretense.
01:01:17.000 Yeah.
01:01:18.000 Yeah, that's a problem with LA. Everybody in the audience wants to be on stage.
01:01:23.000 Yeah.
01:01:23.000 Even if they're not funny, they wish they were, or they could have been, and maybe that could have been me.
01:01:29.000 It's not like, this is Mike.
01:01:32.000 Mike runs a John Deere factory.
01:01:37.000 He likes to go out with his wife on the weekend and laugh.
01:01:40.000 That's it, like a normal guy.
01:01:42.000 Just a human.
01:01:44.000 Everybody wants...
01:01:45.000 That whole town is at least poisoned by people that want to be famous.
01:01:52.000 Is at least some aspect of it, the radiation from that Chernobyl, is in everything.
01:01:59.000 In everything that everybody does.
01:02:01.000 There's a certain percentage of bullshit that exists in normal conversations in Hollywood that just doesn't exist in the rest of the country.
01:02:08.000 No, I was just in New York last week, and all anybody talks about in New York is they talk about politics in a smart way, they talk about culture, they talk about writers, and then you go back to L.A., and they just all talk about showbiz.
01:02:22.000 Like, even your doctor.
01:02:23.000 Your doctor wants to talk about his famous clients, and he's got headshots on his wall.
01:02:28.000 It's like, you're a fucking doctor!
01:02:29.000 I don't care that Leonard Nimoy used to come here.
01:02:33.000 He's dead!
01:02:34.000 You failed!
01:02:34.000 All headshots.
01:02:36.000 All over the wall.
01:02:41.000 Yeah.
01:02:41.000 It's so strange.
01:02:42.000 My shrink said to me one time, he goes, I was telling him about how I was down.
01:02:51.000 I don't know if you remember this, but I used to do Stern a lot.
01:02:53.000 And Stern, I asked him to write the foreords of my book.
01:02:58.000 And do you remember this story?
01:02:59.000 I do remember, yeah.
01:03:00.000 Yeah, so he basically ran me through the mill.
01:03:02.000 And it was a bit.
01:03:03.000 It was a radio bit.
01:03:04.000 It wasn't mean-spirited.
01:03:06.000 It was a little mean-spirited.
01:03:07.000 Well, it came off way worse than the reality of it was.
01:03:10.000 Explain it to people that don't know what we're talking about.
01:03:12.000 Well, so I asked him to write the foreword to my book, and then he said on the air, there's a million things I'd rather do than sit down and write this foreword.
01:03:18.000 And I think the intent was he didn't want people coming to him and asking him to do things like this, or he'd be doing it all the time.
01:03:27.000 So I asked him to do it, and he just starts busting my balls and calling me at home and saying, I don't want to do this, and blah, blah, blah.
01:03:33.000 So I go to my shrink, and I'm talking about, I have depression.
01:03:38.000 Let that sit for a second.
01:03:42.000 And he says to me, he goes, it's so weird.
01:03:44.000 He should have never fucking told me this.
01:03:46.000 He goes, I have a patient that came in, and he said he's having a hard time lately.
01:03:49.000 And I said, well, what's going on?
01:03:51.000 And he goes, well, my boss at work is a fucking douche.
01:03:54.000 My wife keeps telling me that I'm not, you know, emotional enough.
01:03:58.000 And then there's this guy named Greg Fitzsimmons on The Howard Stern Show, and they're just torturing him.
01:04:04.000 And I go, you shouldn't fucking tell me that!
01:04:07.000 Oh my god, he shouldn't have told you that.
01:04:10.000 And now you're walking through the streets thinking everybody who stares at you is like, that fucking loser.
01:04:15.000 Look at him.
01:04:17.000 That's the problem with having that kind of a platform.
01:04:24.000 But I'm better now.
01:04:25.000 My depression has never been better.
01:04:28.000 What'd you do different?
01:04:30.000 I got way more disciplined about working out.
01:04:33.000 You can probably see it.
01:04:36.000 Look at that.
01:04:37.000 Guns.
01:04:39.000 Guns.
01:04:39.000 I'm doing yoga.
01:04:40.000 I'm doing...
01:04:42.000 Well, they say that that is 1.25 times more effective than SSRIs.
01:04:47.000 Yeah.
01:04:48.000 Regular exercise.
01:04:49.000 Yeah.
01:04:49.000 Regular exercise.
01:04:51.000 I meditate.
01:04:51.000 Just meditated before I came here.
01:04:53.000 Every day.
01:04:54.000 I think that's 90% of what's wrong with people.
01:04:57.000 I know that it's such a meathead perspective.
01:04:59.000 But I think everybody should do something physical.
01:05:02.000 I think we have requirements.
01:05:04.000 I know you don't want to do it.
01:05:06.000 But I think we have requirements.
01:05:08.000 Just like you have to brush your teeth.
01:05:09.000 Just like you have to eat food.
01:05:11.000 Just like you have to take vitamins.
01:05:12.000 I think we have requirements.
01:05:14.000 I think you have requirements to move or it fucks with your head.
01:05:17.000 And gym class used to be intense.
01:05:19.000 Penn said school.
01:05:20.000 Oh, yeah.
01:05:21.000 You used to have a fucking locker and shower after third period because they just made you run like an army obstacle course and do push-ups and jumping jacks.
01:05:29.000 Bro, we played dodgeball.
01:05:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:05:32.000 We grew up with dodgeball, which was crazy.
01:05:36.000 You were whipping balls into people's faces.
01:05:39.000 Yeah, your heart was racing.
01:05:41.000 Yeah, dude.
01:05:41.000 And you're chasing people with the ball.
01:05:43.000 And if you catch some kid who fucking stumbles, he's getting it right in the face.
01:05:49.000 Right?
01:05:50.000 That game was nuts.
01:05:50.000 And it was co-ed, and the girls went down fast.
01:05:53.000 Horrible.
01:05:54.000 Yeah.
01:05:54.000 You see the big red welt on the side of the leg?
01:05:57.000 Yeah.
01:05:57.000 The Irish girl with the pale skin gets fucking banged.
01:06:01.000 It was horrible.
01:06:02.000 It was horrible.
01:06:03.000 She got varicose veins on her neck to this day.
01:06:05.000 Yeah, there's some people that were really good at throwing that fucking dodgeball, too.
01:06:08.000 That shit was terrifying.
01:06:09.000 Yeah, those kids with the long arms.
01:06:11.000 And they got rid of that.
01:06:12.000 Yeah.
01:06:12.000 They got rid of that.
01:06:13.000 But dude, we used to run laps!
01:06:14.000 We used to fucking run laps and then you felt good and you went back to class.
01:06:19.000 My kids, their gym classes weren't shit.
01:06:22.000 They didn't have to do anything.
01:06:23.000 The hardest thing I ever did when I was a kid was wrestling.
01:06:26.000 I did one year of wrestling.
01:06:29.000 But I couldn't do both that and Taekwondo at the same time.
01:06:33.000 It was just too much.
01:06:35.000 And I had to make a decision.
01:06:36.000 And so I picked Taekwondo mostly because it's easier.
01:06:40.000 Yeah.
01:06:40.000 It was way easier.
01:06:42.000 Right.
01:06:42.000 The training for wrestling was so hard that I would be like, in school, I'd be like...
01:06:47.000 My brain was like half on.
01:06:49.000 I was just thinking, oh my god, we're gonna have to run stairs tonight.
01:06:52.000 Oh my God, we're going to have to do live drills.
01:06:55.000 Fucking fireman's carry, carry each other up the fucking stadium stairs.
01:07:00.000 There's no tougher training, man.
01:07:01.000 Wrestling is brutal.
01:07:02.000 But my son, he was having trouble when he was in preschool.
01:07:08.000 He was biting kids.
01:07:09.000 He was like crazy.
01:07:10.000 And so the teacher said, there's this place called Marina Taekwondo in Venice.
01:07:15.000 Great program for kids.
01:07:17.000 So he started in preschool and he went all the way through eighth grade.
01:07:20.000 He got his black belt.
01:07:22.000 His junior black belt.
01:07:23.000 And it changed him.
01:07:24.000 Fucking changed him.
01:07:25.000 He became disciplined.
01:07:26.000 It calmed him down.
01:07:27.000 He used to go like three or four days a week.
01:07:29.000 Yeah, I think it sounds crazy, but I think it's a requirement for kids to do something physical and really would help if you did something scary, like a martial art.
01:07:40.000 It's just good for developing your brain and developing your ability to do difficult things.
01:07:45.000 When he got his black belt, I don't know if they always do this, but when he got his black belt, he had to do certain, what do they call them, katas?
01:07:53.000 It depends on, katas is a Japanese word.
01:07:56.000 Yeah, he did his katas, and then he had to break some boards, and then he had to do whatever, and then he had to fight two black belts.
01:08:05.000 Like at the same time.
01:08:07.000 And he had to go like three rounds at the same time.
01:08:10.000 They fucking sicked him on him.
01:08:11.000 And Mr. Jones, Keith Jones, shout out.
01:08:14.000 And it was tough.
01:08:15.000 And they came out and he started crying.
01:08:18.000 And Mr. Jones sat him down and he goes, you're going to get back in there.
01:08:20.000 You're going to finish this.
01:08:21.000 And he went in and he wiped his tears and he fucking finished.
01:08:25.000 And then he got his black belt.
01:08:26.000 It was badass.
01:08:27.000 Yeah.
01:08:27.000 How old was he?
01:08:29.000 We started in kindergartens.
01:08:30.000 This would have been in like, I don't know, sixth or seventh grade?
01:08:33.000 It's kind of crazy to give a kid a black belt.
01:08:35.000 Yeah.
01:08:36.000 Little kids.
01:08:37.000 Yeah.
01:08:37.000 Because it's not real.
01:08:38.000 Yeah.
01:08:39.000 You know, it's like different schools have different requirements and different belief systems when it comes to that.
01:08:45.000 But somewhere along the line...
01:08:49.000 That's where the term McDojo comes from.
01:08:52.000 Oh.
01:08:52.000 Somewhere along the line, they developed these strip mall karate places.
01:08:56.000 It was in a strip mall.
01:08:57.000 That would graduate children all the way up to black belt.
01:09:03.000 And they made it real easy for you to do it where you didn't spar.
01:09:09.000 And they started doing a bunch of stuff to make it less realistic, but less...
01:09:15.000 Attrition.
01:09:15.000 So less people quit and so they make more money.
01:09:18.000 And so like some of these schools that have hundreds and hundreds of students, they'd be making bank.
01:09:22.000 And then there was like a place called Fred Velary's when I was living in Boston.
01:09:26.000 And Fred Velary's was a karate, it was a chain.
01:09:29.000 They were all over the place.
01:09:32.000 But the people that came out of there, if they had to fight, maybe some of them would be good, but it's not the best place to learn.
01:09:41.000 It's a McDojo.
01:09:43.000 They taught you karate, but you got to do it in a real place.
01:09:47.000 You got to do it in a fucking real place with real savages.
01:09:51.000 That's the only way you're going to get good at it.
01:09:53.000 You got to get to a real scary place where there's a bunch of people and they're fucking sweating and kicking the bag.
01:09:59.000 That's where you got to go.
01:10:01.000 But I do think there is something to giving a kid a goal, like you're gonna get your blue belt, and you're trained for that, and you're gonna get your red belt.
01:10:08.000 Junior black belt's not a bad thing to call it, as long as you're calling it a junior black belt.
01:10:11.000 It's like you're not a man yet.
01:10:13.000 You don't really have the ability to hurt people.
01:10:16.000 Most people don't really have the ability to hurt people until they're like 15, 16, 17. Then you can really hurt people, and it comes quick.
01:10:23.000 It goes from you being a boy, right?
01:10:25.000 When you're 12 years old, you are a boy.
01:10:29.000 When I was 15, I was fighting men.
01:10:31.000 So from 12 to 15. So when I was 15, my instructor was crazy.
01:10:37.000 And he would put you in, like you were young teenagers, he would put you in tournaments, in men's tournaments, 18 and over.
01:10:46.000 Wow.
01:10:46.000 Wow.
01:10:46.000 Yeah.
01:10:47.000 Just say you're 18. They just put you right in there.
01:10:49.000 No shit.
01:10:50.000 Oh my God.
01:10:51.000 It was terrifying.
01:10:52.000 Wow.
01:10:52.000 Terrifying.
01:10:52.000 So you go from not being able to hurt people to knocking grown men unconscious in a short period of time.
01:10:59.000 The first time I knocked a grown man unconscious, I was 16 years old.
01:11:03.000 Wow.
01:11:03.000 I head kicked this dude and knocked him unconscious.
01:11:06.000 And I was like, this is crazy.
01:11:08.000 Was that legal?
01:11:09.000 Yes, 100%.
01:11:10.000 Yeah, it was full contact.
01:11:12.000 He was snoring.
01:11:13.000 And I was like, this is nuts.
01:11:15.000 And I was 16. Yeah.
01:11:17.000 I was like, this is crazy.
01:11:18.000 So...
01:11:19.000 That's like a real black belt.
01:11:21.000 I was a black belt when I was 17. But it was a real black belt.
01:11:24.000 I was fighting black belts.
01:11:25.000 I can hurt you.
01:11:26.000 You can't really hurt anybody when you're 12. Yeah.
01:11:29.000 But that's what's so nuts.
01:11:30.000 In five years, you become a fucking machine.
01:11:34.000 In five years.
01:11:35.000 Five years ago, I've been here for four years.
01:11:37.000 I've been living here for four years.
01:11:38.000 Nothing's changed.
01:11:39.000 I'm exactly the same person.
01:11:40.000 Yeah.
01:11:40.000 But from 12 to 17, you're a different fucking human being.
01:11:45.000 Yeah.
01:11:46.000 And also when the fear of being physically hurt is driving you to push yourself to be better.
01:11:51.000 Yes.
01:11:52.000 That's real.
01:11:53.000 Yes.
01:11:54.000 Yeah, well, it's also...
01:11:57.000 You don't have any responsibilities.
01:11:58.000 You have nothing to do.
01:12:00.000 You have hormones for the first time in your life.
01:12:02.000 So you have all this fucking energy and this fucking rawr!
01:12:06.000 And your whole day, you can just dedicate to this crazy thing and go around kicking people and learning something and getting better at something where everybody else is just listening to Led Zeppelin and smoking cigarettes and trying to figure out if they're going to go to college.
01:12:21.000 And you're out there doing something nuts.
01:12:23.000 Yeah, my nephew, Rowan, he grew up in South Africa, and he was like, you know, had every letter, ADHD, whatever, he had it all.
01:12:32.000 And he was the number one most, he got the record at his school for the most detentions.
01:12:38.000 They kept track, and they gave him an award.
01:12:41.000 And then he found rugby when he was like 14. He started doing rugby hard.
01:12:46.000 And he's a big, thick kid.
01:12:47.000 And he became an animal.
01:12:49.000 And it straightened him out.
01:12:51.000 Right now he's at Columbia University.
01:12:53.000 He was in the Navy.
01:12:55.000 He went out for the Green Berets.
01:12:57.000 No, the Navy Seals.
01:12:58.000 And he just missed it.
01:13:00.000 He made it all the way to Hell Week and then got dropped from the program.
01:13:03.000 That's crazy.
01:13:04.000 But because he was in the Navy, they gave him a full ride to Columbia.
01:13:09.000 They pay him to go to school at Columbia on, I guess it's the GI Bill?
01:13:13.000 Is that what they call it?
01:13:15.000 Probably.
01:13:15.000 Something like that.
01:13:16.000 Yeah.
01:13:18.000 Yeah, I think putting a kid who's got some...
01:13:21.000 Because you get anger.
01:13:22.000 When you have all these learning disabilities, you get very angry.
01:13:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:13:26.000 You know, because you're not fitting in.
01:13:28.000 You're not doing as well.
01:13:29.000 You're trying your hardest and you're coming up short.
01:13:31.000 And you get fucking angry and you need something to focus that on.
01:13:34.000 I think all kids need something to focus.
01:13:36.000 Yeah.
01:13:36.000 They just need something.
01:13:38.000 It's too easy to just be lazy and Bro, my life is terrible.
01:13:42.000 Because you're not doing anything.
01:13:43.000 You're not getting excited.
01:13:44.000 You do stuff.
01:13:46.000 How many kids were depressed in the 1920s?
01:13:48.000 They were only depressed if they were starving.
01:13:50.000 They were running around.
01:13:52.000 I think the whole country was depressed.
01:13:53.000 It was the depression.
01:13:54.000 Exactly.
01:13:56.000 It was the 30s.
01:13:57.000 Let's go with the teens.
01:13:59.000 The 30s was the depression, right?
01:14:00.000 So the roaring 20s was before the depression.
01:14:02.000 Everything was going pretty good.
01:14:04.000 Pretty good.
01:14:05.000 But they were ruthless.
01:14:07.000 Yeah.
01:14:07.000 What we call bullying.
01:14:09.000 It was like normal life.
01:14:11.000 Everybody was fucking horrible to each other.
01:14:13.000 Well, because they were recent immigrants and they were fighting for turf.
01:14:16.000 They were fighting for jobs.
01:14:17.000 The Irish and the Italians were fucking fighting each other.
01:14:20.000 They didn't get food.
01:14:20.000 Yeah.
01:14:21.000 Yeah, they weren't exactly sure they were going to get food.
01:14:23.000 And they had 11 brothers and sisters.
01:14:25.000 So they were fighting at home before they even left the house.
01:14:28.000 Yeah, and good luck getting something that has a vitamin in it in the winter.
01:14:33.000 Everybody's malnourished!
01:14:35.000 They're horribly malnourished!
01:14:36.000 If you lived in the city in the 1920s and it was fucking 30 below zero out, there's nothing coming in or out.
01:14:42.000 You ain't getting no tomatoes.
01:14:44.000 Like, where are those coming from?
01:14:45.000 You gonna get a horse to drag those from New Jersey?
01:14:47.000 Like, what are you talking about?
01:14:49.000 Yeah.
01:14:49.000 There's no food here.
01:14:50.000 Cabbage, that was your only vegetable.
01:14:52.000 Yeah, you got canned food.
01:14:53.000 You ate canned food for six months.
01:14:55.000 Yeah.
01:14:56.000 Back before shipping, just think how nuts it must have been to live in a city before there were any trucks.
01:15:04.000 Yeah.
01:15:05.000 You had the Iceman.
01:15:06.000 Every couple days, an Iceman would come to your house and put it in your box.
01:15:11.000 That's what the Icehouse in Pasadena was.
01:15:13.000 Oh, no shit!
01:15:14.000 Yes!
01:15:14.000 Wow!
01:15:15.000 Before the Ice House was a rock and roll club, I think it was briefly a rock and roll club, then it became a comedy club.
01:15:20.000 It is the oldest running comedy club in the country.
01:15:22.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
01:15:23.000 Yeah, the Ice House is the oldest.
01:15:25.000 And the Ice House, before it was any of those things, was a place that would store giant blocks of ice.
01:15:31.000 So you'd go and get a chunk of ice.
01:15:33.000 They would take some ice from fucking Greenland or some shit.
01:15:36.000 They weren't even making it.
01:15:38.000 How did they even keep that thing cold?
01:15:40.000 And they got it to America.
01:15:43.000 Crazy.
01:15:43.000 Chunks of ice and they would get it to the cities.
01:15:46.000 Yeah.
01:15:46.000 You can get it in July.
01:15:47.000 They'd get you a chunk of ice.
01:15:51.000 How?
01:15:53.000 How much loss did they have in ice?
01:15:55.000 Like, how big does the ice have to be when you start?
01:15:58.000 And how heavy is that shit to ship it over?
01:16:00.000 Oh my god.
01:16:00.000 If you got a truck filled with ice, okay, like, what year did they start bringing ice around?
01:16:07.000 Let's find that out.
01:16:08.000 Yeah.
01:16:08.000 Like, what year did that become a thing?
01:16:10.000 Because you know it wasn't a thing.
01:16:11.000 Like, during the Pioneers days, there wasn't an ice truck that would show up.
01:16:14.000 There's no way to get the fucking ice.
01:16:16.000 You know, when those people were trying to make their way across the country, no ice.
01:16:19.000 I'm gonna guess 1890. I think it's got to be after trucks.
01:16:28.000 I think it has to be.
01:16:29.000 Because you've got to get it around.
01:16:31.000 You can't just put it on a train.
01:16:33.000 When do trucks start?
01:16:36.000 1920. I'm watching Peaky Blinders, and as the years go on, their cars get better.
01:16:41.000 Yeah.
01:16:41.000 It's interesting, you know, because it's kind of historically accurate in terms of the cars they were driving at the time.
01:16:47.000 It's really interesting, because in the beginning, they just, like, a bikini top over this shitbox, little fucking, little rattle machine.
01:16:54.000 Then at the end, they have, like, Bentleys.
01:16:56.000 Yeah.
01:16:57.000 And they close the door, and it's luxurious inside, and, you know.
01:17:00.000 But I would say trucking, probably early 1900s.
01:17:06.000 What do we got?
01:17:06.000 I want to say like 1910. So what year was the first ice delivery?
01:17:12.000 In which country?
01:17:13.000 In America.
01:17:14.000 When did they start delivering ice?
01:17:16.000 Well, Scandinavia.
01:17:17.000 They just fucking walked outside.
01:17:18.000 I think they brought the practice over from England because it says it started in England in the 1600s.
01:17:23.000 Right, right.
01:17:24.000 But I'm saying when were they able to do it in America?
01:17:26.000 Because, you know, even if they do it in England in the 1600s, you probably get a fucking cart dragged by horses from the mountain.
01:17:36.000 Like, how far away is their ice?
01:17:38.000 It sounds like they grabbed it from lakes here.
01:17:41.000 In America?
01:17:42.000 Yeah.
01:17:42.000 Since it was a major part of the early economy in New England and the United States, we saw fortunes made by people who transported ice in straw-packed ships to the southern states and throughout the Caribbean.
01:17:53.000 Oh, so they only did it in the winter?
01:17:55.000 I guess, yeah.
01:17:56.000 You just get it from Canada.
01:17:57.000 I wonder how long you can keep ice.
01:17:58.000 If you have like a Yeti cooler, you can keep ice for about seven days.
01:18:02.000 Yeah.
01:18:03.000 In the summer.
01:18:03.000 It's pretty amazing.
01:18:05.000 Somebody should write a book about the history of ice.
01:18:07.000 Because those big, thick-ass coolers, like a Yeti cooler that you would take camping...
01:18:10.000 Yeah.
01:18:11.000 You can get, those are amazing.
01:18:13.000 Yeah, I got one of those.
01:18:13.000 Keep ice for seven, eight, nine days, which is nuts.
01:18:16.000 And if you take a Yeti and you take like a milk jug filled with water and freeze that and put a bunch of them in there, it'll stay cold forever.
01:18:26.000 It'll stay cold for so long, it got a large block of ice like that.
01:18:30.000 This is from the 70s, but this is just like ice extraction.
01:18:33.000 Oh, this might not be them selling ice.
01:18:35.000 This looks like these guys are going to die.
01:18:38.000 Yeah!
01:18:38.000 They got axes on the edge of the water!
01:18:41.000 That does not seem that thick!
01:18:43.000 Take your ice and you put it in an ice box.
01:18:45.000 Ice box used in cafes of Paris in the late 1800s.
01:18:49.000 Wow.
01:18:49.000 It's a box to store ice.
01:18:50.000 So how did they get the ice to them?
01:18:54.000 The first recorded use of refrigeration technology dates back to 1775 B.C. in the Sumerian city of Turquah.
01:19:02.000 That's why I asked which country, because this goes back further than England.
01:19:05.000 It goes all the way back to, yeah, same time.
01:19:08.000 Same time.
01:19:08.000 I was off by 4,000 years.
01:19:11.000 Well, this is the same story, because that's cuneiform.
01:19:12.000 That's exactly the same story.
01:19:13.000 It's Mesopotamia.
01:19:15.000 The same country.
01:19:16.000 Ice pits.
01:19:17.000 Ice pits from the 7th century BCE. Wow.
01:19:21.000 Alexander the Great stored snow in pits that they dug for that purpose.
01:19:25.000 Wow.
01:19:26.000 Imported it from the mountains.
01:19:27.000 Straw-covered pits.
01:19:28.000 So they recognized that they could kind of insulate it.
01:19:31.000 And you'd sell it at a snow shop.
01:19:34.000 Wow.
01:19:34.000 Ice that formed the bottom of the pit sold at a higher price than the snow on top.
01:19:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:19:39.000 More expensive for ice.
01:19:40.000 Because it didn't have piss in it.
01:19:44.000 That's the delineating factor.
01:19:45.000 How many guys pissed in that pit?
01:19:50.000 At least one!
01:19:51.000 The French are serving up some chocolate ice cream.
01:19:54.000 Did you mean this to be chocolate?
01:19:55.000 At least one guy pissed in there, for sure.
01:19:58.000 There's not a chance in hell nobody pissed in there.
01:20:01.000 Not a chance in hell.
01:20:02.000 Do you eat snow?
01:20:04.000 Like when you go out hunting?
01:20:07.000 You can eat snow.
01:20:08.000 I mean, you're going to have a certain amount of pollution depending on where you are.
01:20:13.000 You're eating what's in the air.
01:20:15.000 It's amazing how bad it gets in New York in the winter, how fast.
01:20:19.000 That shit falls, and an hour later it's gray.
01:20:22.000 Well, in New York you have a lot of things going on, and one of the things that people don't take into consideration is brake dust.
01:20:28.000 You have a lot of brake dust.
01:20:29.000 So you have all these cars that are constantly doing stop-and-go traffic, so the brake dust in the air is pretty significant.
01:20:36.000 That shit that you get on the inside of your wheels, your car wheels, and you have to clean off that black stuff, that's brake dust.
01:20:42.000 So that's spraying out from every car in the 405. So when you're riding your bike, I'm being healthy.
01:20:47.000 You're literally breathing in brake dust, you fucking psychopath.
01:20:52.000 No filter, taking it right in the face.
01:20:55.000 Is that Central Park or something close to it?
01:20:58.000 It says it was the first one in the United States, the first ice pit.
01:21:02.000 Ice pit.
01:21:03.000 13 feet in diameter and 18 feet deep.
01:21:06.000 Many tines of ice were cut from a nearby river in the winter, transported by wagon to the ice house, deposited into the ice pits.
01:21:12.000 The blocks of ice fused into one giant mass.
01:21:16.000 Gravel at the bottom of the pit drained water from the melting, and the thick stone walls and straw insulation minimized heat loss from the ice house above.
01:21:23.000 Morris claimed he was able to preserve ice from one winter to the following October or November.
01:21:28.000 Wow!
01:21:30.000 That's crazy.
01:21:33.000 So, utilizing the 54 degree constant temperature underground, people have been storing ice in caves and pits since at least the Roman times.
01:21:41.000 That's pretty dope.
01:21:43.000 Oh, look at this.
01:21:43.000 It relied on a natural phenomenon, but also an overwhelming mass of ice, good drainage, and the super insulation of the building above the ice pit to provide refrigeration through hot Philadelphia summers.
01:21:55.000 Pretty fucking dope.
01:21:59.000 16 feet deep and they would just store ice and that's how you get your ice.
01:22:02.000 For nine months.
01:22:04.000 That's pretty amazing.
01:22:05.000 Yeah.
01:22:05.000 People are pretty goddamn ingenious.
01:22:09.000 You know, human beings ingenuity to figure things out.
01:22:12.000 How do we keep this fucking ice when it gets hot as shit out?
01:22:14.000 Imagine if we can keep the ice.
01:22:15.000 What do we got to do?
01:22:16.000 Yeah.
01:22:17.000 How about dig a hole?
01:22:18.000 How cold is it down there?
01:22:19.000 It seems colder down there.
01:22:21.000 And just experimenting how long you can keep ice.
01:22:24.000 You're putting massive blocks of it from the river and stacking it, and then you're going to sell it.
01:22:29.000 All right.
01:22:30.000 And all these experiments.
01:22:32.000 People are dying.
01:22:33.000 Well, that didn't work.
01:22:34.000 Everybody died.
01:22:35.000 A nice whiskey with a couple of ice cubes in the middle of July.
01:22:39.000 That's worth it.
01:22:40.000 You know, with your friends at the country club.
01:22:42.000 Clink.
01:22:44.000 You know how they get this?
01:22:46.000 I got a guy.
01:22:47.000 Maybe that's why they call it on the rocks, because it's surrounded by rocks in the pit.
01:22:51.000 No.
01:22:52.000 I think ice cubes are like rocks, right?
01:22:55.000 Well, there's a lot of schools of thought on this.
01:23:01.000 Isn't it funny when you go to some restaurants, they give you a hot rock you cook yourself on?
01:23:05.000 What?
01:23:06.000 Like, ooh, exciting.
01:23:07.000 You never done that?
01:23:08.000 No.
01:23:08.000 No?
01:23:08.000 A hot rock?
01:23:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:23:12.000 It'll literally be a hot rock that you can't touch, and then you have little strips of steak, and you lay them on the rock.
01:23:17.000 Oh, like a Korean barbecue place.
01:23:19.000 Like Wagyu.
01:23:20.000 They'll do it at sushi places.
01:23:22.000 Yeah.
01:23:22.000 Where they give you a hot rock and you put your little strips of beef on there and you flip it over.
01:23:28.000 Isn't it exciting that you're cooking for yourself?
01:23:30.000 Yeah.
01:23:30.000 And yet it's super expensive.
01:23:32.000 I know.
01:23:32.000 And then they make you clear your own plate and go in the fucking kitchen and wash it.
01:23:36.000 No, they don't.
01:23:37.000 No.
01:23:37.000 You made that part up.
01:23:38.000 But it is funny that it's exotic to cook your own food.
01:23:41.000 Like, how can't you do that?
01:23:43.000 Yeah, right, right.
01:23:44.000 Isn't this what I'm here for?
01:23:45.000 Yeah.
01:23:46.000 Why am I cooking?
01:23:47.000 I remember there was a Seinfeld episode where Kramer was pitching a pizza place where you make your own pizza!
01:23:53.000 And he had a friend invest and the guy had a restaurant and he went out of business.
01:23:59.000 Korean barbecue is fun though.
01:24:00.000 Yeah, I like Korean barbecue.
01:24:01.000 Yeah, that's fun.
01:24:02.000 But you know what you're getting into when you get there.
01:24:04.000 It's not one dish that you have to cook for yourself.
01:24:07.000 It's the whole experience.
01:24:08.000 That's fine.
01:24:09.000 Yeah.
01:24:09.000 I know what I'm getting into.
01:24:10.000 But if I go to a restaurant and you give me a hot rock, and like, here's your meat, that's the hot rock, cook it on the rock.
01:24:15.000 Like, what the fuck are we doing here?
01:24:16.000 But people love it.
01:24:17.000 Like, ew, I'm cooking myself.
01:24:19.000 Look, I'm doing it.
01:24:20.000 Should I flip it now?
01:24:21.000 Yeah.
01:24:22.000 Wait, sorry?
01:24:22.000 When do I flip it?
01:24:24.000 Yeah.
01:24:26.000 And then you gotta go to the salad bar.
01:24:27.000 I gotta walk to get my salad?
01:24:30.000 Well, that's Brazilian steakhouses.
01:24:32.000 That's the sneaky move they have is all you can eat.
01:24:35.000 Everything's all you can eat, but the salad bar is too.
01:24:38.000 So before you eat, you go to the salad bar and you're eating fucking artichoke hearts and cheese and this.
01:24:44.000 And then they come by with as much meat as you possibly can eat.
01:24:50.000 And then you have a card.
01:24:51.000 You flip it.
01:24:51.000 If it's green on top, they keep coming by with different meat.
01:24:54.000 And when it's red, you tap out.
01:24:56.000 Yeah, I remember that.
01:24:56.000 We went to one of those places in Vegas.
01:24:58.000 Was it Fogo de Chao?
01:24:59.000 Fogo de Chao, yeah.
01:25:01.000 This place is the best.
01:25:02.000 Because you just start eating.
01:25:04.000 You don't have to wait for the food.
01:25:05.000 The worst is when you're really hungry and you're in a slow restaurant.
01:25:08.000 You're like, oh my god, this is killing me.
01:25:10.000 But if you go to a place like Fogo de Chao, that food's coming right at you.
01:25:15.000 You could be stuffed in 10 minutes.
01:25:17.000 All different cuts.
01:25:19.000 Yeah.
01:25:20.000 That's when you gotta take a little walk.
01:25:22.000 Yeah.
01:25:22.000 I've never seen anybody go harder than Ari at Fogo de Chao.
01:25:27.000 It is insane how much she eats there.
01:25:30.000 Yeah.
01:25:30.000 Insane.
01:25:31.000 And I go, why?
01:25:32.000 He goes, it's a Jewish thing.
01:25:33.000 Free food.
01:25:34.000 I go, are you serious?
01:25:35.000 He goes, yeah, that's all I can eat.
01:25:36.000 I can just keep eating.
01:25:37.000 I go, you're kidding.
01:25:38.000 He's like, no, I'm not kidding.
01:25:40.000 I can keep eating.
01:25:42.000 Doesn't cost any more money.
01:25:46.000 That's awesome.
01:25:47.000 He's so funny with it.
01:25:48.000 But he's like, he's shameless.
01:25:50.000 Yeah.
01:25:51.000 Shameless.
01:25:51.000 With lamb chops?
01:25:53.000 Yeah.
01:25:53.000 Bring them over.
01:25:54.000 Yeah.
01:25:54.000 I thought I could keep up with them.
01:25:56.000 I could not keep up with them.
01:25:57.000 I was in South Africa one time, and we were at a game park called Pilanesburg or something, and they had a restaurant next to the game park, and you would go there, and I remember it was called Carnivore, and you go in, and they come over with skewers, but it was like, you want some giraffe?
01:26:13.000 You want some hippo?
01:26:15.000 You want some buck?
01:26:19.000 Everything.
01:26:20.000 I tried everything.
01:26:21.000 What was giraffe?
01:26:22.000 Giraffe is...
01:26:24.000 Giraffe's a tough one.
01:26:25.000 Because they seem to not want to fuck with anybody.
01:26:28.000 They're cool.
01:26:30.000 Your baby could feed them at the zoo.
01:26:32.000 It's the only animal at the zoo.
01:26:34.000 It's a giant fucking animal.
01:26:36.000 It's 50 feet tall.
01:26:38.000 And your two-year-old baby can give it lettuce.
01:26:41.000 And the little tongue comes out, wraps around, and takes the lettuce.
01:26:44.000 And no one's worried about the giraffe doing anything harmful to people.
01:26:47.000 That's a weird one to eat.
01:26:49.000 Like, if I could avoid eating a giraffe, I would like to.
01:26:53.000 And how are they not dead?
01:26:56.000 I mean, how do they protect themselves?
01:26:59.000 Well, they stomp things, first of all, because they're like a wild horse.
01:27:04.000 It's like a giant antelope thing.
01:27:05.000 Like, what species is a giraffe?
01:27:08.000 Like, technically, what is it?
01:27:10.000 Is it an antelope?
01:27:11.000 Like, what is it?
01:27:12.000 You know, like a moose is in the deer family.
01:27:14.000 Do you know that?
01:27:15.000 Oh, okay.
01:27:15.000 Moose is the largest of the deer family.
01:27:18.000 It's like elk is in the deer family.
01:27:21.000 Giraffe is a large African hoofed mammal belonging to the giraffa, Janus giraffa, the tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant on earth.
01:27:32.000 Traditionally, giraffes have been thought of as one species, giraffa Cameloperalis.
01:27:39.000 Camel.
01:27:39.000 With nine subspecies.
01:27:41.000 So is a camel related to...
01:27:43.000 It is, right?
01:27:44.000 That's what I remember.
01:27:45.000 I think it is related.
01:27:48.000 Is a camel related?
01:27:49.000 Just put it in as a camel related to a giraffe.
01:27:57.000 What do you think?
01:27:58.000 I think they probably are.
01:28:00.000 Yeah.
01:28:02.000 Hmm.
01:28:04.000 Okay.
01:28:05.000 Giraffa Camelopardalis.
01:28:09.000 No.
01:28:12.000 Camelopardalis.
01:28:13.000 Camelopardalis.
01:28:14.000 Oh, fuck that last word.
01:28:16.000 How's that one go?
01:28:19.000 Giraffes get part of their Latin name, Camelopardalis, from the long camel-like necks and leopard-like spots, but they are more closely related to okopies rather than camels or leopards.
01:28:32.000 So they're not related to camels?
01:28:36.000 Oh, look at that fucking thing.
01:28:38.000 We've seen those before.
01:28:39.000 It looks like a zebra fucked a deer or something, doesn't it?
01:28:45.000 It's like the bottom half is one animal and the top half is another animal.
01:28:49.000 Beautiful, though.
01:28:51.000 Forest giraffe.
01:28:52.000 How do you mix with a giraffe?
01:28:54.000 Because how do you fuck it?
01:28:55.000 Well, you have to be another giraffe.
01:28:57.000 Yeah.
01:28:57.000 Yeah.
01:28:58.000 That's why they don't mix with anybody.
01:28:59.000 Giraffes do the fucking.
01:28:59.000 Yeah.
01:29:00.000 I don't think anybody fucks the giraffe.
01:29:02.000 The giraffe has to do the fucking.
01:29:03.000 It's to decide it's going to get down there.
01:29:05.000 That's right.
01:29:08.000 Yeah.
01:29:09.000 You know, trees, like the acacia tree, when giraffes eat them...
01:29:15.000 All the trees that are downwind recognize that a tree upwind is being eaten by giraffes, and so it changes its flavor profile.
01:29:23.000 It starts releasing these phytochemicals that makes it taste like shit.
01:29:27.000 No shit!
01:29:28.000 It says an antelope's the closest living relative to a giraffe.
01:29:31.000 Okay, so it is an antelope species.
01:29:33.000 The weirdest antelope is the one that we have in America, because we have a Jurassic animal in America, the pronghorn antelope.
01:29:41.000 It's not like any animal in North America.
01:29:43.000 It's literally an animal that was a part of the giant group of animals that lived in North America like 65,000 years ago, but it's one of the rare ones that's still here.
01:29:55.000 Because it evolved to get away from a North American cheetah.
01:29:59.000 So it runs way faster than anything.
01:30:02.000 Nothing can catch those things.
01:30:04.000 You ever seen them?
01:30:04.000 No.
01:30:05.000 Pronghorns?
01:30:06.000 They're cool as shit looking.
01:30:07.000 But when you see them when you...
01:30:09.000 That's not a good picture though.
01:30:10.000 You want like a picture of the males?
01:30:12.000 Just pull up pronghorn antelope.
01:30:14.000 The males have these crazy horns and these eyes that can see like probably...
01:30:24.000 Almost to the entire back of like behind their ears.
01:30:28.000 They have a crazy range of vision.
01:30:31.000 It's like a deer size.
01:30:32.000 I've seen them in the wild.
01:30:34.000 They're really cool looking.
01:30:34.000 I've seen them in Utah.
01:30:35.000 Beautiful.
01:30:36.000 Really cool looking.
01:30:37.000 But when you see them run, you realize like, oh, this is not from around here.
01:30:42.000 They run so much faster than anything else.
01:30:45.000 So like mountain lions, coyotes, good luck, bitch.
01:30:49.000 You're not catching that guy.
01:30:51.000 That guy's fucking insanely fast.
01:30:53.000 See if you can find a video of one running.
01:30:57.000 So it says, born to race cheetahs.
01:31:01.000 So there was like 65% of North American megafauna was killed off somewhere around 10,000 years ago.
01:31:10.000 And these motherfuckers made it.
01:31:13.000 But they're a part of that old group that included like the North American lion, North American cheetahs.
01:31:19.000 There was a bunch of crazy shit that was here.
01:31:22.000 Just, you know, 15,000 years ago.
01:31:24.000 Yeah, right.
01:31:25.000 Crazy shit, dude.
01:31:26.000 There was a lion that lived here that's bigger than the African lion.
01:31:28.000 Like, the biggest lion ever was in North America.
01:31:31.000 No shit.
01:31:31.000 Yeah, we had a crazy big lion here.
01:31:34.000 Wow.
01:31:36.000 That's pretty wild.
01:31:37.000 It makes sense, though, right?
01:31:38.000 If you think about all the buffalo, there'd probably be a cat big enough to kill that thing.
01:31:43.000 Yeah.
01:31:43.000 You know, some giant-ass lion.
01:31:45.000 All right.
01:31:45.000 Like, way bigger than the African lions.
01:31:47.000 Yeah.
01:31:48.000 I just saw a video on the internet of sloths having sex.
01:31:54.000 How was it?
01:31:55.000 Well, it was as exciting as you would think.
01:31:58.000 It was like, first of all, like, the mating call, like, the female was, like, a mile away.
01:32:03.000 And it was like, this is this little...
01:32:05.000 Like, this little noise.
01:32:06.000 And he just perks up.
01:32:07.000 He goes racing down the tree, which takes like a day.
01:32:11.000 And then he has to go through these, like, croc-infested waters.
01:32:15.000 And he just keeps hearing the noise.
01:32:17.000 He keeps going.
01:32:18.000 And he gets to the other side.
01:32:19.000 And he climbs up the tree.
01:32:20.000 There's another male.
01:32:21.000 They, like, go to battle.
01:32:23.000 There's, like, a sloth battle with their three little claws.
01:32:26.000 Whoa.
01:32:26.000 And then the guy gets to the top.
01:32:29.000 And the female's there.
01:32:31.000 And he gets on top of her.
01:32:31.000 And it's just like...
01:32:32.000 One stroke, three, goosh, done.
01:32:35.000 That was the whole thing.
01:32:37.000 Wow.
01:32:37.000 Like, think about how horny those fuckers are.
01:32:41.000 Like, the average married couple, like, what does it take to get laid?
01:32:47.000 You just gotta listen to your wife for a little while.
01:32:50.000 Yeah, how was your day?
01:32:51.000 And just listen, and you're in.
01:32:53.000 And even then, men are like, I don't know.
01:32:55.000 That's just...
01:32:56.000 It's a lot to ask.
01:32:57.000 But just imagine...
01:33:00.000 Having this strange urge to go where that sound is and not having any reference.
01:33:07.000 Like the first time it happens to you, right?
01:33:09.000 Say you're a sloth, you're two, you get your first heart on, like this is crazy, and then you hear...
01:33:16.000 Why do I need to go towards that sound?
01:33:18.000 You don't even know what you're doing.
01:33:19.000 You have no idea why you're going there.
01:33:22.000 If the sloth has never been laid before, it has no idea.
01:33:26.000 Why am I being drawn to this sound?
01:33:28.000 Why is this smell?
01:33:29.000 It's all just instincts.
01:33:33.000 That's the noise?
01:33:35.000 Yeah.
01:33:37.000 He's like, I'm getting some pussy.
01:33:41.000 Is that all the sloth?
01:33:43.000 Or was that one sound the sloth?
01:33:49.000 Oh, there it is.
01:33:51.000 Oh, that's pretty loud.
01:33:52.000 Yeah, you hear that.
01:33:53.000 That's the bat signal for Dick.
01:33:54.000 Yep.
01:33:55.000 And then, but the amazing thing is like, when you think about that, what drives animals, us being animals, to do the things we do?
01:34:03.000 I was thinking about this when I watched this law thing.
01:34:06.000 All the things that gratify us, that nature has taught us to procreate in order to, you know, whether it's eat, your stomach hurts, and the joy of the taste of food, all these things that are built into us as animals that keep us procreating, the fucking,
01:34:22.000 even like you got an itch.
01:34:24.000 And you take your nails and you scratch it.
01:34:27.000 Well, there was probably a reason because there used to be bugs embedded in your skin or dry skin or like everything that we do is somehow built into rewards and punishments that are unconscious to us.
01:34:43.000 You know, and are they going to be able to – can you program that into people eventually to alter behavior?
01:34:51.000 Not just that, to eliminate all the things that make us human, unfortunately.
01:34:56.000 Mm-hmm.
01:34:57.000 Like, you want the good with the bad?
01:35:00.000 Or do you—what do you want?
01:35:02.000 Like, because the only way to have the good is you've got to appreciate that it's good.
01:35:06.000 And how do you appreciate it?
01:35:07.000 Because you've experienced bad.
01:35:09.000 If you only get good, you get a spoiled rich kid, and they're a nightmare.
01:35:13.000 Or you get Joffrey, the king, you know?
01:35:16.000 That's what you get.
01:35:17.000 Yeah.
01:35:18.000 Right?
01:35:18.000 Yeah.
01:35:18.000 No adversity, all the power in the world, terrible for everybody, right?
01:35:22.000 So, it's like, you gotta have some down.
01:35:26.000 It's like, it's a part of the program.
01:35:28.000 It's part of the program of becoming a better person.
01:35:30.000 Like, you have experience, good, and I think even in the world, unfortunately, we have to see evil to recognize that people are capable of evil, to really...
01:35:39.000 Understand what kind of game are we playing here?
01:35:42.000 Especially when it comes to like international conflicts, especially ones that don't have any day-to-day effect on your life here in America and whether you support them or you don't support them like you're it's not affecting you, right?
01:35:53.000 But it's effect it's somewhere if you were there if you were in Yemen and you watch those fucking drones launch Hellfire missiles into this wedding party like you would recognize like There's a lot going on that's evil.
01:36:10.000 There's good and there's evil and it's real.
01:36:13.000 And there's this weird battle going on with human beings.
01:36:15.000 And I think that battle almost has to take place to motivate people to be better.
01:36:22.000 You think that's where there's war?
01:36:24.000 Cyclical war?
01:36:25.000 There's no reason why it should exist today.
01:36:28.000 There's no reason why, as educated as we are in history, that we should be willing as a people, as groups of people to ever invade other places to steal their resources.
01:36:40.000 There's no way we should be doing that.
01:36:42.000 At this point, with the kind of communication that human beings have with each other around the world, there should be a way to reasonably communicate and share goods and ideas and compete and take part in each other's commerce.
01:36:58.000 I sell to you, you sell to me, everybody gets along.
01:37:02.000 This should be totally doable.
01:37:05.000 In 2024. The fact that it's not and that no one thinks it's ever going to be is what's terrifying about being a person.
01:37:12.000 Because that's the thing that keeps you up at night.
01:37:15.000 The thing like if one of these fucking assholes, one of these greedy cocksuckers that's under the boot of the military industrial complex decides to push it a little too far and someone decides to shoot a nuke off.
01:37:27.000 And then we're in this new thing where cities could just disappear.
01:37:31.000 You know, it's not just a September 11th where two buildings disappear and a bunch of people died and it's a horrible tragedy.
01:37:37.000 No, no, no.
01:37:38.000 The whole city gone.
01:37:39.000 Boom.
01:37:40.000 One city down.
01:37:41.000 Now, shut the fuck up or we'll bomb all your cities.
01:37:45.000 Now your power doesn't work anymore.
01:37:47.000 Oh, no.
01:37:48.000 Where do you get your ice?
01:37:49.000 Well, you better go back to the old ways and get a fucking ice pit because you don't have electricity anymore.
01:37:53.000 That's not hard to do.
01:37:55.000 Like, someone could take out our electrical grid pretty fucking easy.
01:37:58.000 And these assholes that are in charge of the world, in all countries, that are still playing this fucking game of maybe we'll kill you all.
01:38:08.000 Yeah, it's like a big game of chicken.
01:38:10.000 And there's no...
01:38:11.000 Like, when we were kids, I don't know if this happened in your school, but, like, we had drills.
01:38:16.000 We had nuclear war drills.
01:38:18.000 Like, it was a day-to-day existential worry that people didn't sleep because of nukes.
01:38:23.000 Those same fucking nukes are tenfold today in terms of the arsenals.
01:38:28.000 And way more people have them.
01:38:29.000 Way more countries have them.
01:38:30.000 And there's way more – when you look at what's going on in the Middle East, like that is a fucking – that is going to explode at some point and it's going to happen fast because there's all these alliances where if one country does it – Eight others are going to do it the same day.
01:38:46.000 Peter Thiel was talking about that, that it's the ultimate dilemma when it comes to nuclear power, because nuclear power is more efficient than other power, and it's actually greener.
01:38:54.000 It's probably safer for the environment, especially with the kind of nuclear reactors capable of building and designing today.
01:39:01.000 But they didn't realize that if you give someone nuclear power, it's really easy to turn that into nuclear weapons.
01:39:08.000 They thought it was a lot harder than it was, and they did it for India.
01:39:10.000 And he was saying, then they realized, like, India got the nuclear weapon.
01:39:13.000 And it's like, oh.
01:39:14.000 Okay, so now we can't just give everybody nuclear power because then you have everybody has nuclear weapons.
01:39:19.000 And what if it's some fucking warlord who's on amphetamines in the middle of the Congo and he decides he's going to nuke his neighbor?
01:39:26.000 People can get crazy, especially if they have a lot of money.
01:39:30.000 You know, they're selling drugs.
01:39:32.000 They're kidnapping people.
01:39:34.000 Whatever they're doing, they got a lot of money.
01:39:35.000 And now they have a nuclear weapon.
01:39:37.000 North Korea, man.
01:39:38.000 Once North Korea has it, it's a fucking...
01:39:40.000 They have it.
01:39:41.000 Do they?
01:39:41.000 Yes.
01:39:42.000 North Korea has nukes.
01:39:43.000 No shit.
01:39:44.000 Oh, they don't have the long-range delivery systems yet.
01:39:46.000 They say they do now.
01:39:48.000 Yeah.
01:39:48.000 Who knows?
01:39:49.000 But there was a famous nuclear bomb that went off that they kind of denied in North Korea a while back.
01:39:58.000 What was that?
01:39:59.000 They think it might have been an accident.
01:40:02.000 It's hard to tell, you know, because North Korea is pretty tight with their propaganda.
01:40:06.000 But I remember there was some nuclear detonation was detected in the mountains, and they were trying to figure out if it was on purpose or if it was an underground thing.
01:40:15.000 Because they do underground nukes too, which is crazy.
01:40:19.000 It just may trigger an earthquake, but let's find out.
01:40:22.000 Let's just detonate a nuke a mile under the surface of the earth.
01:40:26.000 Fucking psychopaths.
01:40:27.000 Well, we did it in Oklahoma in, I guess it was like maybe the 50s or 60s.
01:40:32.000 Oh, yeah.
01:40:33.000 And they didn't tell people to leave the neighboring towns.
01:40:38.000 And there's all these people.
01:40:39.000 The cancer rates were through the roof.
01:40:42.000 Here it says...
01:40:44.000 Okay.
01:40:45.000 Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty has been detected seismic activity in more than two dozen stations around the world, confirming that man-made explosions have occurred near North Korea's nuclear testing sites.
01:40:56.000 For example, in 2016, the CTBTO detected a 4.85 magnitude seismic event, which North Korea claimed was a hydrogen bomb test.
01:41:06.000 In 2013, the CTBTO detected a 4.9 magnitude seismic event, which is about twice as large as the 2006 test.
01:41:15.000 So they just keep making them more powerful.
01:41:19.000 Well, what magnitude was like Hiroshima?
01:41:22.000 Oh, look at this one.
01:41:23.000 In 2024, South Korea's weather agency estimated that a nuclear weapon blast yield was between 50 and 60 kilotons based on a magnitude 5.6 detection.
01:41:33.000 The South Korea's government initial estimate was 100 kilotons and the NORSAR seismology center estimate was 120 kilotons.
01:41:45.000 It's so crazy that a nut, a crazy person, just some fucking maniac dictator has that.
01:41:53.000 Like, you could take, oh, you fucked my cousin?
01:41:57.000 Guess what?
01:41:58.000 It's like, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna nuke your town.
01:42:01.000 Or they want a legacy.
01:42:03.000 Hiroshi was only about 15 teletons.
01:42:05.000 So four times the size.
01:42:06.000 Nagasaki was 25. Holy shit.
01:42:08.000 Isn't it funny that Hiroshima gets all the credit, but meanwhile they got the bitch-ass bomb?
01:42:12.000 That's right.
01:42:13.000 One was an atomic and one was a hydrogen, right?
01:42:16.000 I don't know.
01:42:16.000 Is that the truth?
01:42:17.000 I think so.
01:42:22.000 The Little Boy.
01:42:24.000 Is that the big one?
01:42:25.000 Is that the one that was on Hiroshima?
01:42:27.000 So Little Boy was Hiroshima and Fat Man was Nagasaki.
01:42:33.000 Wow.
01:42:35.000 Imagine you get your fucking, your instructions, you're a fighter pilot, and that's what they tell you?
01:42:42.000 Yeah.
01:42:42.000 That's what you're gonna do today?
01:42:43.000 Right.
01:42:44.000 What are we doing?
01:42:45.000 You're gonna be the guy.
01:42:46.000 What do you mean?
01:42:47.000 You're gonna be the guy that drops the bomb.
01:42:49.000 Yeah.
01:42:50.000 What bomb?
01:42:51.000 We have a nuclear bomb.
01:42:53.000 Yeah.
01:42:54.000 What does that mean?
01:42:55.000 Like, what does this thing do?
01:42:56.000 Well, you're going to drop it and then you got to get the fuck out of there.
01:42:59.000 Right, right.
01:43:00.000 And don't look back because it'll rip your eyeballs out.
01:43:03.000 That might be my tea mug that you just grabbed.
01:43:06.000 Oh, is it it?
01:43:07.000 I think so.
01:43:08.000 I just poured coffee in it.
01:43:09.000 I'm sorry.
01:43:10.000 No, I'm done with it.
01:43:10.000 I thought it was my coffee.
01:43:11.000 I'm on to coffee now.
01:43:13.000 There's too many mugs.
01:43:13.000 I'm confused.
01:43:15.000 I was not seeing my mug because the microphone was like perfectly shielding it.
01:43:19.000 I was like, oh, that must be my mug.
01:43:21.000 There's a great series on Netflix right now about the Cold War.
01:43:24.000 It's like three episodes, but it goes through, you know, just the espionage that went behind it all and, you know, how the nuclear codes got to Russia because, was it the, what was it?
01:43:36.000 It was the couple, the Rosenbergs.
01:43:40.000 And there was a few people that basically got the information to Russia.
01:43:43.000 And then once that happened, like everything fucking changed.
01:43:47.000 Like after World War II, basically in World War II, We bombed Japan not because they weren't going to surrender.
01:43:55.000 This is what this documentary talks about.
01:43:57.000 There was an end in sight.
01:43:58.000 They were crawling.
01:44:00.000 They were on their knees.
01:44:02.000 But Russia had sent forces into Japan as our allies to help finish the war.
01:44:11.000 We didn't want them getting any of the credit.
01:44:13.000 So we bombed while Japan was en route.
01:44:16.000 While Russia was en route, we bombed Japan.
01:44:18.000 Whoa.
01:44:19.000 So once we did that, Russia was like, oh, it's on.
01:44:23.000 Fuck them.
01:44:24.000 We need, we need, and they basically just, they realigned their whole military, their whole budget.
01:44:30.000 Everything was about getting nukes after that happened.
01:44:35.000 Those bombs didn't need to be dropped.
01:44:37.000 That's okay.
01:44:38.000 Yeah.
01:44:38.000 How complicated is that, too?
01:44:41.000 Because if they don't drop those bombs, we know the bombs exist and no one's dropped them.
01:44:46.000 Do you think it would have been worse if the world didn't see the horrors?
01:44:49.000 You're probably right.
01:44:50.000 Because as they keep getting better and no one's dropped one on anybody yet, and then we're talking shit, I'll fucking do it, man.
01:44:55.000 I'll be the first guy.
01:44:56.000 I'll be the first.
01:44:58.000 You know, if Hitler had a nuke, you don't think you would have launched it?
01:45:01.000 Right.
01:45:01.000 100%.
01:45:03.000 100%.
01:45:03.000 He's cranked up on all kinds of fucking drugs.
01:45:06.000 They were shooting animal hormones into him.
01:45:08.000 They were experimenting on him.
01:45:10.000 Oh, that's right.
01:45:11.000 I heard about that.
01:45:13.000 This book, Norman Ohler.
01:45:14.000 Norman Ohler, I've sold your book so many times.
01:45:17.000 It's a crazy story.
01:45:18.000 He was in here explaining it all.
01:45:21.000 Hitler had this one doctor that he trusted.
01:45:23.000 He didn't trust the SS doctor because there was a lot of people wanting to get rid of Hitler.
01:45:27.000 There was a lot of attempts on his life.
01:45:29.000 And this motherfucker had one doctor that was giving him all the goods.
01:45:33.000 And he was just out of his mind.
01:45:36.000 If you gave that guy a nuke at that time, 100% he's nuking somebody.
01:45:40.000 Of course.
01:45:41.000 What wouldn't he do?
01:45:43.000 What was he not capable of?
01:45:44.000 Exactly.
01:45:46.000 And I think the same thing is true of Kim Jong-un right now.
01:45:51.000 He was friends with Trump.
01:45:53.000 Trump went over, shook his hand.
01:45:54.000 They're pals.
01:45:55.000 Yeah.
01:45:56.000 Seems like you just need a friend.
01:45:57.000 He's friends with Dennis Rodman.
01:46:00.000 Maybe Dennis Rodman can be the official envoy.
01:46:02.000 Maybe if Trump wins, Dennis Rodman becomes the official envoy and we fucking settle things out.
01:46:08.000 Imagine if that was how it all worked out.
01:46:11.000 Yeah, smooth things over.
01:46:12.000 Give the people electricity.
01:46:15.000 Dude, it's so mysterious when you hear about people that escaped from North Korea and they talk about how...
01:46:20.000 Literally, it's the thought police.
01:46:22.000 I just sent Jamie something.
01:46:24.000 It's so funny that we're talking about this.
01:46:25.000 I sent Jamie something this morning that I saw, where this guy has one of those crazy satellite dishes in his backyard, and he picks up a channel from North Korea.
01:46:33.000 So it's a guy in Ontario, and I sent this to you on a text message.
01:46:37.000 Yeah, but that's not what you sent me, so the wrong link got copied.
01:46:40.000 No way!
01:46:41.000 You sent me the football video.
01:46:43.000 Stepsister?
01:46:43.000 No, I sent you something before that.
01:46:45.000 No.
01:46:46.000 I didn't?
01:46:46.000 Oh my god, I didn't.
01:46:49.000 You moron.
01:46:51.000 What did I do?
01:46:51.000 Did I save it?
01:46:53.000 God, I thought I sent it to you.
01:46:55.000 I must have accidentally sent it to somebody else.
01:46:56.000 What is it?
01:46:56.000 The North Korean guy that picks up salad?
01:46:58.000 Yes, it's an Ontario man picks up North Korean television.
01:47:03.000 Fuck, I thought I sent it to you.
01:47:04.000 Fuck.
01:47:05.000 But he'll find it because it's becoming viral now because it's really nuts.
01:47:09.000 You see the propaganda.
01:47:10.000 So this guy just tunes in to this broadcast of North Korea because he's got one of them.
01:47:15.000 Remember when people had those crazy dishes like that thing in their backyard?
01:47:19.000 Yeah.
01:47:20.000 I remember a guy had that.
01:47:21.000 I thought that guy was a wizard.
01:47:22.000 Like, look at him.
01:47:23.000 He's getting TV from Ireland.
01:47:27.000 He's watching snooker on the BBC. So this dude tunes in to the North Korean broadcast, like whatever it is that they broadcast through North Korea.
01:47:37.000 And it's all propaganda and Kim Jong-un is like literally people fall down like he's the Beatles.
01:47:43.000 Like when he shows up.
01:47:45.000 He shot a round of golf.
01:47:46.000 He shot a 27 in 18 holes.
01:47:48.000 That was his dad.
01:47:49.000 Look how people freak out when they see him.
01:47:52.000 Yeah, you shot like nine holes in one, right?
01:47:54.000 Yeah.
01:47:54.000 But also, if you don't react like that, the police see you, and they put you in a fucking gulag for like five years.
01:48:03.000 Yeah, you're fucked.
01:48:04.000 You better cheer.
01:48:07.000 Yeah, the power that he has is just absolute.
01:48:10.000 And then if they find out that, you know, you have a relative overseas that's bad-mouthing North Korea, your family gets put into a fucking camp.
01:48:19.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:48:20.000 And not only that, it's a generation after generation thing.
01:48:23.000 Like the children, if you have children in the camp, they're punished as well.
01:48:26.000 Yeah.
01:48:27.000 It's terrible.
01:48:29.000 It's so mysterious, too.
01:48:30.000 But he likes basketball.
01:48:31.000 He does?
01:48:32.000 Maybe Dennis Rodman can choose it all over.
01:48:34.000 Dennis Rodman, yeah.
01:48:35.000 If I had to pick one eloquent NBA star, it would be Dennis Rodman.
01:48:39.000 Send him over there with a bowling bag filled with mushrooms.
01:48:42.000 And just those two get together.
01:48:44.000 Yeah.
01:48:45.000 Meet God.
01:48:46.000 Just like he'd fix this thing.
01:48:48.000 He'd take that nuke like it was a fucking three-point shot.
01:48:51.000 He'd just reach up, stop it.
01:48:54.000 Well, what he's got to do before anything in that country is let those people be free.
01:48:59.000 Like, that is literally like a cult.
01:49:02.000 It's like a cult.
01:49:03.000 Like, the power that that one guy has and that government has over their people.
01:49:08.000 Have you ever seen Yeonmi Park talk about her experiences in North Korea?
01:49:12.000 No.
01:49:12.000 Oh, was she on here?
01:49:14.000 Yes.
01:49:14.000 Oh, yeah, I did see that.
01:49:15.000 She escaped North Korea when she was 13. Yeah, that was crazy.
01:49:17.000 It's crazy.
01:49:19.000 Yeah.
01:49:19.000 It's crazy.
01:49:20.000 Dude, and it's going into China.
01:49:22.000 China uses, I don't want to say which supermarket chain because I don't want to malign somebody, but one of the major supermarket chains.
01:49:30.000 They have meat processing plants where China brings in North Korean slaves.
01:49:38.000 They are kept in barracks with barbed wire fences, and they work for 12, 14 hours a day, seven days a week, and they get paid like $100 a month.
01:49:51.000 And then they come back to North Korea after like four or five years, and their families get this little fucking tidbit of money, but they don't have a choice.
01:50:03.000 North Korea picks what they think are the best examples of what North Korea is because they want to look good to China.
01:50:10.000 And they send those people over.
01:50:12.000 And they worked as slaves for years.
01:50:16.000 And the American companies are buying food from these plants in China.
01:50:22.000 Jesus Christ.
01:50:23.000 Yeah, it's an article in The New Yorker about it.
01:50:25.000 Well, if we're buying things, I mean, that's one of the weirdest parts about manufacturing going away in America.
01:50:33.000 Because so many of the things that we buy are from mysterious places.
01:50:38.000 Like, when people found out about what was going on at the Foxconn factories that were making iPhones, that they had fences and nets all set up around the roof to keep people from jumping off.
01:50:50.000 Suicide nets?
01:50:50.000 Oh, yeah.
01:50:51.000 You've never seen it?
01:50:52.000 No.
01:50:54.000 Show those images.
01:50:55.000 It's bananas.
01:50:56.000 So instead of fixing it, they said, you know, let's just make it harder to die.
01:50:59.000 Like, these people, they just, they don't want to work here.
01:51:03.000 Do you bounce off the net back into the factory?
01:51:06.000 Look at those nets.
01:51:08.000 That's to stop suicide.
01:51:10.000 Wow.
01:51:11.000 That's how to stop suicide.
01:51:12.000 That's how many people are trying to kill themselves.
01:51:15.000 Because you're working 16 hours a day, you sleep there, they have dormitories, and this is why your phone costs X instead of Y. I think?
01:51:45.000 And you maybe make it back up.
01:51:48.000 Maybe you don't.
01:51:48.000 The elevator sometimes stop working.
01:51:50.000 You go down there for like two or three days at a time in the blackness.
01:51:55.000 Yeah.
01:51:56.000 Have you ever seen the video of the Chinese mine collapsing?
01:51:59.000 No.
01:52:01.000 See if you can find that.
01:52:02.000 There's been a few, but there's one really good video of this collapse of this mine.
01:52:06.000 It's fucking terrifying.
01:52:08.000 Yeah.
01:52:09.000 It's terrifying, dude.
01:52:11.000 Because basically, they dug into the whole side of this hill, and then it just falls on them.
01:52:16.000 Wow.
01:52:17.000 This massive amount of dirt and land and the smoke and the dust.
01:52:21.000 You're like, oh my god, how many people are dead?
01:52:24.000 Just crushed to death so that you can have an iPhone.
01:52:27.000 Watch this.
01:52:29.000 Look at this.
01:52:30.000 Holy shit.
01:52:32.000 Holy shit, dude.
01:52:34.000 Where is this mine, Jamie?
01:52:35.000 What did it say in the beginning?
01:52:36.000 Mongolia.
01:52:37.000 Mongolia.
01:52:40.000 Fuck, dude.
01:52:44.000 Fuck.
01:52:44.000 Mines are terrifying.
01:52:46.000 Yeah.
01:52:47.000 You know, you hear noises like, and you're like, get the fuck out of here with you.
01:52:54.000 Go.
01:52:55.000 Just get out of here.
01:52:56.000 That was the Irish.
01:52:57.000 We all came over and went into the mines.
01:52:59.000 Well, all the people in Kentucky, right?
01:53:00.000 And the Appalachias.
01:53:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:53:03.000 Do you know why they say those people in Appalachia are more violent?
01:53:08.000 Why?
01:53:08.000 Because they come from herding populations.
01:53:11.000 I think it was in...
01:53:13.000 Was it in Sapiens?
01:53:14.000 Or whose book was that in?
01:53:16.000 Maybe one of Malcolm Gladwell's books?
01:53:18.000 But basically they're saying that the reason why there's more, like when they used to have feuds, you know, like the Hatfields and the McCoys, that type of thing, and they would kill those people.
01:53:27.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:53:28.000 I think that was Sapiens.
01:53:29.000 Yeah.
01:53:29.000 Yeah.
01:53:30.000 So the idea is that these people who are farmers, well, it's very difficult to steal all your corn.
01:53:36.000 You can't steal all your corn.
01:53:37.000 But you could steal someone's sheep, all their sheep.
01:53:40.000 And so if you're a herder, you have to be on guard constantly of thieves who come in and take all your animals all at once.
01:53:47.000 You have to be super violent to protect your flock.
01:53:49.000 And those guys came over here with that sort of attitude.
01:53:53.000 Huh.
01:53:54.000 Yeah.
01:53:55.000 That's funny because you think of like the shepherd is this like kind of archetypal figure of this guy who's just kind of laying back with a piece of hayseed in his mouth, chilling out.
01:54:04.000 But now they're warriors.
01:54:06.000 You have to be.
01:54:07.000 Yeah.
01:54:07.000 Because you'll lose all your food.
01:54:09.000 Yeah.
01:54:09.000 Like if your family relies on those sheep, you have 20 sheep and you got to follow them and graze with them.
01:54:15.000 You have to bed down with them.
01:54:16.000 Yeah.
01:54:16.000 Yeah.
01:54:16.000 If someone comes along and tries to...
01:54:18.000 That's why cattle rustlers, they would kill them.
01:54:20.000 They would kill horse rustlers.
01:54:22.000 People stole horses and cows.
01:54:23.000 In the Old West, it was one of the worst things you could do.
01:54:26.000 You steal a man's horse, they'll fucking kill you.
01:54:28.000 You steal a car today, you get a slap on the wrist.
01:54:31.000 There's guys out there that stole 14, 15 cars.
01:54:33.000 Nobody gives a shit.
01:54:35.000 There's this comic.
01:54:36.000 I did Kill Tony last night.
01:54:38.000 This comic came up and he said he's got a Kia and it's been stolen four times this year.
01:54:43.000 I guess Kia has some kind of a defect, and you can read about it online, but it's like super easy, like old-school hot wiring.
01:54:52.000 You can just grab a Kia.
01:54:54.000 Yeah, I've heard about this.
01:54:55.000 They get stolen a lot.
01:54:57.000 Kia thefts.
01:54:58.000 It's a big deal.
01:54:59.000 I mean, the only downside is once you do it, you've got a Kia.
01:55:03.000 Right.
01:55:03.000 That's the payoff.
01:55:04.000 It's mostly kids, though.
01:55:05.000 Mostly kids doing it?
01:55:06.000 Yeah.
01:55:06.000 For joyrides?
01:55:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:55:08.000 You can do it in like 10 seconds.
01:55:09.000 Uh-huh.
01:55:10.000 It's happened all over the country.
01:55:12.000 It's been happening for a few years now.
01:55:13.000 So they take it, go on a joyride, beat the shit out of it?
01:55:15.000 Yeah, they're just driving crazy.
01:55:16.000 Oh, there's nothing more joyful than driving a Kia.
01:55:19.000 Well, I mean, if you don't have a car and you're just trying to have fun, beat the fuck out of this Kia.
01:55:24.000 They're not paying for it.
01:55:25.000 Yeah.
01:55:26.000 That's kind of hilarious.
01:55:28.000 They could just steal Kias.
01:55:29.000 I know.
01:55:31.000 But there's junk.
01:55:32.000 You know, but they're cheap and they don't break that much.
01:55:35.000 Like, if you just need something to get around, it just sucks that they could steal them so easy.
01:55:38.000 So you're not going to congratulate me?
01:55:41.000 Bought the Mustang.
01:55:43.000 Oh, that's right.
01:55:43.000 I sent you the picture.
01:55:44.000 That's right.
01:55:44.000 I finally did it.
01:55:45.000 I've been talking to you about it for 15 years.
01:55:48.000 At least.
01:55:48.000 I wanted a Mustang.
01:55:49.000 And I always had kids in college.
01:55:52.000 I get fucking worried about money.
01:55:55.000 I always spent my money on trips.
01:55:57.000 Our family travels a lot.
01:56:00.000 Cars were never a big thing.
01:56:01.000 But yet there was always a teenager that fucking wanted a Mustang.
01:56:05.000 And then finally I just fucking did it.
01:56:07.000 Which one did you get?
01:56:08.000 Two weeks ago.
01:56:09.000 It's just a Mustang.
01:56:12.000 Which, what model?
01:56:14.000 The EcoBoost.
01:56:14.000 Is it the GT, the EcoBoost?
01:56:16.000 You got the six-cylinder engine?
01:56:17.000 I don't know what it is.
01:56:18.000 How is it?
01:56:18.000 It's fun as shit.
01:56:20.000 Yeah?
01:56:20.000 I took it up into the Malibu Hills or Santa Monica Mountains the other day with my wife.
01:56:25.000 And you've got those little, like, serpentining roads and fucking, it handles unbelievably.
01:56:31.000 Unbelievable!
01:56:32.000 And it's so low to the ground.
01:56:33.000 You turn and you just feel like you're turning with the car.
01:56:36.000 Yeah, you're not used to a car like that.
01:56:38.000 No.
01:56:39.000 No.
01:56:39.000 I was driving a Prius and a Subaru.
01:56:42.000 It was awful.
01:56:44.000 And now I feel alive for the first time.
01:56:46.000 I knew you were going to ask me if it was a fucking GT or something.
01:56:48.000 Yeah, if you're going to get a Mustang, you've got to get a V8. That's a great Fitzsimmons move.
01:56:54.000 Baby steps.
01:56:54.000 Get that eco boost.
01:56:55.000 Baby steps, so now you're hooked?
01:56:56.000 I'm in.
01:56:57.000 Now you're in.
01:56:58.000 Well, now I got a little more money, too.
01:57:00.000 Yeah.
01:57:01.000 My kids are out.
01:57:02.000 Yeah, you're fine.
01:57:02.000 Yeah.
01:57:03.000 Spending money now.
01:57:04.000 Spending like a main...
01:57:06.000 It's been a good couple years, but like...
01:57:10.000 It's all going back.
01:57:10.000 I put a lot of it into this special that I shot at your club, by the way, at the Mothership.
01:57:15.000 I heard it's great.
01:57:16.000 It's out today.
01:57:16.000 Oh, did you?
01:57:17.000 Yeah, I heard it's great.
01:57:17.000 Oh, that's nice to hear.
01:57:18.000 The guys who saw it when you filmed it.
01:57:20.000 Yeah, it was fun.
01:57:21.000 It was, you know, because I was going to do it before the pandemic happened, and then that stalled it out, and then I came back.
01:57:28.000 I shot it at one place.
01:57:31.000 It meant too much to me to put out a bad version of it, so I edited it for three months and then I just fucking scrapped it entirely.
01:57:37.000 And then when I did, there we go, and then the great Adam Egott said, hey, we'd love to have you.
01:57:45.000 Joe, we'd love to have you do a special here.
01:57:47.000 And I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
01:57:50.000 And I came in, and I didn't have to do shit.
01:57:52.000 I didn't have to, like, build a backdrop.
01:57:54.000 Because Brian Simpson, I think, is the only guy that's put a special out from this place.
01:57:58.000 So, like, that backdrop is beautiful, and people haven't seen it much.
01:58:03.000 Yeah.
01:58:04.000 I don't think it matters anyway.
01:58:06.000 Like, how many fucking times have you seen people do stand-up from the cellar, and you see the brick wall?
01:58:11.000 You don't go, oh, that brick wall.
01:58:12.000 I can't even enjoy these jokes.
01:58:14.000 Right, right.
01:58:14.000 Yeah, but at the same time, I wanted it to be special.
01:58:17.000 It's been a long time since I put a special out.
01:58:19.000 And this material is like, again, I've been working on it for like eight years.
01:58:23.000 So I wanted it to really pop.
01:58:25.000 And so I bought in 800-pound Gorilla.
01:58:28.000 They shoot a lot of the specials.
01:58:30.000 And I spent some money and I did it right.
01:58:33.000 And I'm fucking psyched about it.
01:58:35.000 Nice.
01:58:35.000 And is it going to be on YouTube?
01:58:37.000 It's on YouTube right now.
01:58:38.000 It comes out today.
01:58:38.000 YouTube is the move, man.
01:58:40.000 It's such a good move for getting your stuff out there.
01:58:43.000 You can get millions of views, and everybody can get it.
01:58:47.000 You can get it on your phone.
01:58:48.000 You can share it.
01:58:49.000 That's the thing I love about YouTube is someone can send it to me, like a link to your thing, and I can just watch it right away, which is nuts.
01:58:55.000 There's no other platform like that.
01:58:56.000 And it's also, I love that I can see the comments, you know?
01:59:00.000 I mean, if you put it on Netflix or Comedy Central, I guess there's going to be some conversation on certain places, but YouTube, it's right fucking there.
01:59:08.000 And you can see how many people are watching it, and, you know, I just don't want my wife and kids to watch the last 10 minutes.
01:59:15.000 That's where I start giving it to the old lady a little bit.
01:59:19.000 Yeah, tell them to steer clear.
01:59:21.000 Yeah, they don't need to see that.
01:59:22.000 They don't need to see your act.
01:59:23.000 Come on, stay away from that.
01:59:25.000 That's my business.
01:59:26.000 That's for the rest of the world.
01:59:28.000 Yeah, you can see the trips I take you on.
01:59:30.000 That's all you need to care about.
01:59:31.000 Dad's Mustang.
01:59:33.000 That's all you're concerned about.
01:59:34.000 Yeah, now that you're hooked, I'm going to get you into something more crazy.
01:59:37.000 Oh yeah?
01:59:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:59:38.000 Next one.
01:59:39.000 We're gonna step you up a little bit.
01:59:40.000 No shit.
01:59:41.000 Yeah.
01:59:42.000 Yeah, you need to feel like...
01:59:43.000 Yeah.
01:59:44.000 You need to feel some real excitement.
01:59:46.000 Feel the rumble under the balls.
01:59:47.000 Yeah, real rumble.
01:59:49.000 You need to hear a V8. You need to roll the windows down and rev it in a parking structure.
01:59:54.000 Yeah.
01:59:55.000 What was that Mustang you drove into the comedy store one night?
01:59:59.000 You had like a 68 Fastback, was it?
02:00:02.000 No.
02:00:03.000 No.
02:00:04.000 That was probably my Corvette.
02:00:07.000 No, you had a Mustang.
02:00:09.000 No, I definitely did.
02:00:10.000 Oh, no, no, no.
02:00:11.000 I had a more modern Mustang.
02:00:12.000 Okay.
02:00:13.000 Oh, maybe that's what it was.
02:00:13.000 I had a Shelby GT500. It was like a 2012 convertible.
02:00:18.000 It was great.
02:00:19.000 It was very rumbly.
02:00:20.000 Yeah.
02:00:21.000 Yeah, that was fun.
02:00:21.000 That car was ridiculous.
02:00:23.000 Any gas at all, when you're making a turn, the ass hand kicks out.
02:00:26.000 Any gas at all.
02:00:27.000 It was so overpowered.
02:00:28.000 Yeah.
02:00:28.000 Didn't have the fattest tires in the world, but god damn, it was fun.
02:00:32.000 That was the first one of those cars that I had ever gotten, whereas a modern muscle car...
02:00:38.000 I had muscle cars before, like the old school ones, but the modern ones are even more fun to drive, because you can actually drive them.
02:00:44.000 They actually have good brakes.
02:00:46.000 They actually have good suspension.
02:00:47.000 They're designed well.
02:00:49.000 If you get a modern...
02:00:51.000 Mustang has a thing called the Dark Horse.
02:00:54.000 So the Dark Horse is their top-end car that you can get with a manual transmission.
02:00:58.000 It's fucking great.
02:01:00.000 It's like 500 horsepower.
02:01:02.000 It handles really well.
02:01:04.000 See if you can find Mustang Dark Horse.
02:01:07.000 That's their top of the line before they get into the GT500, which is only automatic.
02:01:13.000 So I think the Dark Horse is the last one that you can get that's got a standard transmission.
02:01:19.000 Right, right.
02:01:20.000 I need that.
02:01:21.000 Yeah.
02:01:21.000 If you have a muscle car, I need that fucking...
02:01:26.000 I need that.
02:01:27.000 That's it.
02:01:28.000 That is a sick car, man.
02:01:30.000 That's a sick car.
02:01:31.000 I just love that they're still making cars like this.
02:01:34.000 They're just full-on muscle cars, but with performance suspensions and great brakes now.
02:01:40.000 I know, because that was the wrap on old Mustangs.
02:01:43.000 They were fast, but you went into a corner and you got slammed against the side of the car.
02:01:47.000 Look at that thing.
02:01:48.000 Nasty.
02:01:49.000 Those are fun.
02:01:50.000 I don't know what it is about Mustangs.
02:01:52.000 It's just the American car to me.
02:01:55.000 Yeah.
02:01:56.000 Well, they're fucking incredible, man.
02:01:58.000 And they've been around forever.
02:01:59.000 I have a 68. I have a 68. Like one that looks like Steve McQueen's one from Bullet.
02:02:05.000 Bullet.
02:02:05.000 Yeah.
02:02:06.000 Yeah.
02:02:06.000 Fucking great.
02:02:07.000 Yeah, that's the one.
02:02:09.000 The 68. The great.
02:02:11.000 It's an American car.
02:02:12.000 Like a truly American car.
02:02:14.000 Is it all new guts?
02:02:15.000 Oh yeah, it's all new.
02:02:16.000 It's for this company Revology makes them.
02:02:18.000 They take it from the ground up.
02:02:20.000 It's basically a 2023 1968 Mustang.
02:02:24.000 Yeah.
02:02:24.000 I mean, even the doors close really well, push buttons start.
02:02:27.000 You feel like you're driving a new car.
02:02:29.000 Yeah.
02:02:30.000 But it sounds, sounds right.
02:02:33.000 It feels right.
02:02:34.000 Yeah.
02:02:36.000 Like it's exciting.
02:02:38.000 Yeah.
02:02:39.000 I know my wife wanted me to get a Tesla and I was like, I want to feel it.
02:02:43.000 I want to feel that fucking rumble.
02:02:44.000 Tesla's actually faster though, isn't it?
02:02:46.000 Way faster.
02:02:47.000 Yeah.
02:02:47.000 My Tesla's my fastest car I own, for sure, by far.
02:02:50.000 Not even close.
02:02:51.000 Yeah.
02:02:51.000 It's 1.9 seconds, zero to 60. Damn.
02:02:55.000 That's insanity.
02:02:56.000 Well, it's insanity because then people don't hear you coming, and you're going that much faster.
02:03:00.000 That's true.
02:03:01.000 That's true.
02:03:03.000 But it also gets you away from things.
02:03:05.000 Like if you see something about to happen, you could get out of there quicker.
02:03:10.000 You can merge on the highway instantaneously.
02:03:13.000 You never have to worry, am I going fast enough?
02:03:15.000 Like if I merge in this lane, am I cutting this too close?
02:03:18.000 You could just, you're gone.
02:03:19.000 And are the brakes that much better?
02:03:22.000 No.
02:03:23.000 No.
02:03:23.000 You could get upgraded brakes though.
02:03:25.000 There's a company called Unplugged that will take it and they put upgraded brakes.
02:03:29.000 They widen the fenders and put wider tires on it and change the suspension and make it tauter.
02:03:36.000 But the brakes are good.
02:03:38.000 The brakes on...
02:03:39.000 They're not the best brakes on my Tesla.
02:03:41.000 It's not like a Porsche's brakes.
02:03:44.000 Like a Porsche with like...
02:03:46.000 Ceramic, carbon ceramic brakes, those are incredible.
02:03:49.000 Like, if you get, like, a really good modern brake setup, you know, six-piston, six, you know, front brakes, those big calipers, those things can really fucking slow down a car quickly.
02:04:01.000 So the Tesla's not as good as those, but it's good enough.
02:04:04.000 But it's a heavy-ass car, too.
02:04:06.000 They're having a problem with...
02:04:08.000 Guardrails.
02:04:08.000 I was reading this thing about electric cars.
02:04:10.000 They drove one of those Rivian trucks.
02:04:12.000 It just goes right through those guardrails because it's way heavier than a regular car.
02:04:16.000 Oh, no shit.
02:04:17.000 Yeah, you have to think about that.
02:04:18.000 Yeah, Rivian's had a big callback.
02:04:20.000 I think they're okay now, but they called back like every one of them at one point.
02:04:25.000 Oh, for what?
02:04:25.000 Like a year ago.
02:04:26.000 I can't remember what it was, but...
02:04:28.000 You know what's incredible?
02:04:29.000 Have you seen a Lucid?
02:04:30.000 Lucid Sapphire?
02:04:31.000 No.
02:04:32.000 Lucid Sapphire is...
02:04:33.000 The company's kind of struggling.
02:04:35.000 They're having a hard time selling these things.
02:04:37.000 But I think they have some Saudi Arabian money now, so maybe they're going to be okay.
02:04:41.000 But they have a thing called a Sapphire that's One of the most insane electric cars ever built.
02:04:46.000 Wow.
02:04:46.000 It's like a Mercedes, like incredible attention to detail, like incredible interior, luxurious, and zero to 60 is even faster than my car.
02:04:57.000 I think their zero to 60 is something bonkers, like 1.7 seconds.
02:05:01.000 Whoa.
02:05:02.000 Yeah.
02:05:02.000 Scroll back up where it says the acceleration.
02:05:05.000 Here it goes.
02:05:05.000 Okay.
02:05:06.000 2.2 seconds to 60 miles an hour, quarter mile of 9.28 seconds, which is bananas for a car.
02:05:14.000 That is so crazy.
02:05:16.000 Yeah.
02:05:17.000 I mean, it's so fast.
02:05:19.000 But it also has incredible...
02:05:21.000 So it says, the timer backs this up with more outrageous numbers, zero to 60 in 1.9 seconds, and then a 9.05 second at 154 miles per hour for the quarter mile, which is bananas.
02:05:36.000 That's so fast.
02:05:38.000 And it handles really well, great brakes.
02:05:40.000 Have you taken the Tesla onto a track?
02:05:42.000 No.
02:05:44.000 But it's a lot more expensive.
02:05:46.000 I think those are like, that one, the Sapphire, I think that's like a quarter million dollars.
02:05:51.000 Where is it from?
02:05:52.000 I believe it's an American car.
02:05:54.000 At least it's made in America.
02:05:55.000 I think they make them in Arizona.
02:05:57.000 Insane car though.
02:05:59.000 250 grand.
02:06:01.000 Yeah.
02:06:01.000 So they're doing cars like that now where it has all these things, but you still have to charge it.
02:06:09.000 But now Samsung apparently is coming out with a new battery for electric vehicles that they've apparently been working on that can charge in nine minutes and it has a 600 mile range.
02:06:22.000 I heard about that.
02:06:23.000 Yeah.
02:06:24.000 That's a game changer.
02:06:25.000 Game changer.
02:06:25.000 Yeah.
02:06:26.000 Nine minutes is a game changer.
02:06:27.000 Mm-hmm.
02:06:28.000 That's a game changer.
02:06:29.000 But I'm going to plug it in and I'm going to run away because who fucking knows how long the amount of juice that's going into that batteries.
02:06:38.000 Who knows if a gas gets loose or who fucking knows, man.
02:06:43.000 I don't want to be nowhere near those batteries.
02:06:46.000 That scares the shit out of me.
02:06:47.000 I know.
02:06:48.000 Have you seen those videos of guys getting in elevators with e-car batteries or e-bike batteries and the batteries explode?
02:06:56.000 Yeah, I've seen that.
02:06:56.000 And they just fry.
02:06:57.000 And people's houses burn down because if you leave it charged in your garage, it will ignite sometimes.
02:07:04.000 And it blasts fire.
02:07:06.000 It doesn't just light on fire.
02:07:08.000 It blasts fire.
02:07:09.000 It's like it's all condensed in there.
02:07:11.000 And when it goes, it goes like a fucking firebomb.
02:07:14.000 There's a video of a guy in an elevator.
02:07:16.000 It's horrific.
02:07:17.000 He sets it down on the ground and it just like sparks and then just full on fills the elevator with fire.
02:07:24.000 There's nowhere to hide.
02:07:25.000 This guy just cooks alive inside that elevator.
02:07:29.000 Imagine that.
02:07:30.000 You're trying to save a few bucks by getting an electric bike and you burn your house down.
02:07:34.000 There's also this ridiculous thing that we have where we think that that's eco-friendly.
02:07:40.000 I'm going to be eco-friendly.
02:07:42.000 I'm going to drive my electric bike.
02:07:43.000 That is not eco-friendly.
02:07:45.000 You're using electricity.
02:07:46.000 That electricity probably requires...
02:07:49.000 Somewhere, somewhere, someone's burning something to make that electricity.
02:07:53.000 Whether it's coal or, you know, it could be natural gas.
02:07:57.000 Something's happening where there's a combustion and that's how you're getting this electricity.
02:08:02.000 What is that putting into the air?
02:08:03.000 You lazy bitch.
02:08:04.000 Just ride your bike like a regular bike rider, you fucking lazy bitch.
02:08:08.000 Oh, don't show me this.
02:08:10.000 That also doesn't even get into what we're talking about with the cobalt mining that has to go into it and the disposal of the batteries, which nobody really understands yet.
02:08:18.000 I changed my mind.
02:08:18.000 Show it to Greg.
02:08:19.000 I was saying don't show it to me, but show it to Greg.
02:08:22.000 Greg needs to see this.
02:08:23.000 So this poor dude, he sets it down.
02:08:26.000 Now look.
02:08:27.000 Oh, it's before he even set it down.
02:08:29.000 Bro, it just...
02:08:30.000 Yeah, death.
02:08:31.000 Just death.
02:08:33.000 Yeah.
02:08:35.000 It freaks me out, Jamie.
02:08:40.000 Someone looked into what this was, and there's a lot of stories on what it may have been.
02:08:44.000 I'm not really sure.
02:08:45.000 I'll tell you what a luxury hotel is.
02:08:46.000 You know what a luxury hotel is?
02:08:48.000 You put me up in this beautiful hotel.
02:08:50.000 And the elevators are always there.
02:08:53.000 That's the difference between a good hotel and a bad hotel.
02:08:55.000 Right, when you have to wait.
02:08:56.000 No matter what floor you're on, you push the button.
02:08:58.000 I swear to God, two seconds, the thing is there.
02:09:00.000 And then I'm in the middle of, I'm on the road for a month right now.
02:09:03.000 I'm home for two days because I'm out promoting the special and doing road work on the weekends in between.
02:09:08.000 So I was like, yesterday I was like, fuck, I gotta do some laundry.
02:09:11.000 And so I look on my Google Maps, is there a place for drop-off service?
02:09:16.000 Nothing.
02:09:17.000 I would have to drive like 15 minutes in an Uber.
02:09:19.000 So I was like, fuck it, I'll just do the hotel laundry.
02:09:22.000 And it's like a luxury hotel.
02:09:23.000 So I put my clothes into the bag.
02:09:27.000 It was five pairs of socks, five t-shirts, and five pairs of underwear.
02:09:30.000 I came back, it was $105.
02:09:33.000 I was like, fuck, man!
02:09:35.000 You could have bought those.
02:09:37.000 Exactly.
02:09:38.000 Dom O'Rear used to do that.
02:09:40.000 He used to buy fresh underwear and fresh socks everywhere he went.
02:09:43.000 No shit.
02:09:43.000 Yeah.
02:09:44.000 Yeah.
02:09:45.000 He goes, I don't want to wash them.
02:09:46.000 Yeah.
02:09:50.000 That's great!
02:09:51.000 He made good money, he didn't care.
02:09:52.000 I mean, if you're gonna spend money on something...
02:09:54.000 Just buy new socks, throw them away.
02:09:54.000 Yeah, right, right.
02:09:57.000 And I don't buy expensive socks, you know?
02:10:01.000 But I had already turned...
02:10:03.000 Again, who's making those socks?
02:10:04.000 That's right.
02:10:06.000 You know the Sheen?
02:10:07.000 Is that that clothing company that sells stuff real cheap?
02:10:09.000 I don't know.
02:10:10.000 Have you heard of that, Jamie?
02:10:11.000 Sheen?
02:10:12.000 I was just reading something today about people finding letters, like, please help me.
02:10:17.000 I have dental pain, like that kind of shit.
02:10:19.000 I'm forced to be stuck here.
02:10:22.000 Did Sheen get in trouble for using child labor?
02:10:24.000 Is there something about that?
02:10:26.000 And what store is selling Sheen?
02:10:28.000 I think it's an online thing.
02:10:30.000 Okay.
02:10:30.000 Because I know sometimes the big ones like Walmart, they get in trouble for some of the places they shop.
02:10:36.000 Well, that's the thing, man.
02:10:37.000 It's like if you're buying something from an American store, you have no idea where it was made and how it was made.
02:10:44.000 Conspiracy theory claiming Sheen workers sent pleas for help in clothing has tens of millions of views on TikTok.
02:10:50.000 There's no evidence to support this particular theory, despite criticism of Sheen's business model.
02:10:55.000 Yeah, but Google Sheen in trouble for child labor or confirms child labor.
02:11:02.000 There was something about that today.
02:11:06.000 There was something in the news, child labor...
02:11:12.000 Yeah.
02:11:13.000 Okay.
02:11:14.000 This just says two cases.
02:11:16.000 Sheen says it found two cases of child labor in its supply chain last year.
02:11:20.000 So you've got to think, right, like they send their stuff to factories to get those factories to make their stuff.
02:11:27.000 If they found two in China, I mean, China, they protect what's going on in these factories.
02:11:36.000 You think...
02:11:37.000 I mean, does this count the North Koreans that are being held?
02:11:40.000 Right.
02:11:41.000 Well, maybe it's not for this company.
02:11:43.000 The company said it did not find any cases of child labor in Q4 of 2023. That's real specific.
02:11:49.000 Did you look?
02:11:50.000 It started off.
02:11:51.000 That was only found during Q1 and Q3 or something earlier in the year.
02:11:54.000 Okay.
02:11:55.000 So in Q4, they weren't doing it anymore?
02:11:57.000 Which is weird because that was the kid's name that they caught doing child labor.
02:12:04.000 It should be made in America.
02:12:05.000 You should be able to buy American stuff.
02:12:07.000 And there's not that many companies that are selling things in America, unfortunately.
02:12:12.000 Tom's Shoes.
02:12:13.000 Tom's Shoes?
02:12:14.000 Yeah.
02:12:14.000 Is that what you buy?
02:12:15.000 It's called Tom's, yeah.
02:12:17.000 They sell you a pair of shoes and they donate a pair to a third world kid that has no shoes.
02:12:22.000 Oh, that's nice.
02:12:23.000 You know those barefoot kids?
02:12:24.000 Yeah, that's nice.
02:12:25.000 I'm not barefoot anymore.
02:12:26.000 There you go.
02:12:27.000 What are the companies?
02:12:28.000 I guess Patagonia, they're very conscious about where they manufacture.
02:12:33.000 I would imagine any of those, like, rocky mountain climbing people companies, you know, like North Face.
02:12:39.000 Right.
02:12:40.000 They'd have to be pretty ecological.
02:12:41.000 Yeah.
02:12:42.000 I heard REI's not doing good.
02:12:44.000 What do you mean?
02:12:45.000 The company?
02:12:45.000 Their practices or the company?
02:12:46.000 No, the company's not doing good.
02:12:48.000 Dude, I fucking love that company.
02:12:49.000 Love that place.
02:12:49.000 They got one in Marina Del Rey that's huge.
02:12:52.000 And I don't know, I get so excited just walking through the aisles finding cool shit.
02:12:56.000 It's the only place where you buy waterproof matches on a whim.
02:12:59.000 I'm like, yeah, I might need those.
02:13:00.000 Right, right, right.
02:13:01.000 I need a canteen that I can also take a shit into.
02:13:03.000 I need a 100,000 lumen flashlight in case there's a fucking raccoon in my garbage.
02:13:10.000 Boom, motherfucker!
02:13:14.000 Have you seen those flashlights they have?
02:13:16.000 They have crazy flashlights.
02:13:19.000 Some of those LED flashlights, they're so powerful.
02:13:23.000 It's bananas.
02:13:24.000 But we used to have flashlights, they were bullshit.
02:13:27.000 I know.
02:13:28.000 You had that one stupid bulb and that silver reflective area on the outside supposed to amplify the light from this one shitty light bulb.
02:13:36.000 And you had to put in those giant flashlights.
02:13:39.000 Double D batteries that weigh like eight pounds to carry it around.
02:13:42.000 I think they all need those now.
02:13:44.000 Well, I think with these really high lumen lights, the LEDs don't draw much electricity.
02:13:48.000 Dude, all my camping stuff is solar.
02:13:51.000 Really?
02:13:51.000 Yeah, my lanterns are all solar.
02:13:53.000 It's great.
02:13:53.000 Oh, wow.
02:13:54.000 They collapse.
02:13:55.000 It's collapsible, and then it pops up.
02:13:57.000 I think it's a Coleman.
02:13:58.000 It collapses, and then it pops up, and then charges.
02:14:01.000 It's got a nice light.
02:14:03.000 My friend Adam Greentree, he does a lot of these...
02:14:06.000 He's doing solo hunts where he goes into the backcountry for like a month at a time, just him by himself living off the land.
02:14:12.000 And he has this, it's like a tarp you lay out.
02:14:15.000 It's a solar tarp, like you unfold it.
02:14:18.000 And he uses it to charge his phone, charge his cameras, like anything he wants to charge.
02:14:23.000 Yeah, I bet you those boats, those people that take a boat from, you know, Hawaii to mainland US, they must have, everything must be solar.
02:14:31.000 You have to have something solar.
02:14:33.000 You have to have at least some kind of backup.
02:14:35.000 Like if your generator goes down, you're stuck in the middle of the fucking ocean, you can't even rescue, you know, like send a rescue message.
02:14:42.000 Yeah.
02:14:43.000 Dude, if you told me we're going to send you on a sailboat to Hawaii, I would be like, I'll just die.
02:14:49.000 You could kill me.
02:14:51.000 Going into storms with 20-foot waves on a sailboat.
02:14:56.000 In the middle of the ocean, dude.
02:14:58.000 In the middle of the ocean.
02:14:59.000 How about that guy that died in Italy?
02:15:01.000 Do you hear that story?
02:15:02.000 That crazy story?
02:15:03.000 So there's this guy who was on trial.
02:15:06.000 He was some billionaire character who was on trial for...
02:15:10.000 I forget what the charges were, but there was a very low probability of him beating the case, and he wound up beating it.
02:15:18.000 And then...
02:15:19.000 He's on the island of Sicily.
02:15:22.000 He's around Sicily in the ocean and a water spout out of nowhere hits his boat, sinks him and kills him.
02:15:30.000 I believe killed his daughter and maybe a few other people as well.
02:15:34.000 And then some people swim to safety.
02:15:38.000 But what are the odds that this water spout takes out this one guy's yacht Right after this guy gets off on, apparently, allegedly, ripping off a bunch of very wealthy people.
02:15:51.000 Oh, yeah.
02:15:53.000 Now his co-defendant gets hit by a car.
02:15:59.000 He gets killed too.
02:16:00.000 No shit.
02:16:01.000 Nothing to see here.
02:16:02.000 Not in Sicily.
02:16:03.000 That shit never happens in Sicily.
02:16:05.000 I don't know if the co-defendant got killed in Sicily.
02:16:06.000 The co-defendant might have got killed somewhere else.
02:16:08.000 But I know they're both dead.
02:16:09.000 Damn.
02:16:10.000 Quick.
02:16:10.000 Yeah.
02:16:11.000 It makes you wonder.
02:16:12.000 Like, don't fuck with rich people.
02:16:15.000 Do not.
02:16:16.000 Yeah.
02:16:17.000 Because they can make someone rich to get rid of you.
02:16:21.000 How much do you think you're worth?
02:16:24.000 If someone's worth $80 billion and you rip them off for $5 billion, you're like, I want this motherfucker dead.
02:16:30.000 And you go for a walk on a beach with a guy, and everybody leaves their cell phones at home, and you explain how it's all going to get done.
02:16:37.000 Yeah.
02:16:38.000 And then a water spout just shows up in the middle of the ocean.
02:16:40.000 I mean, what are they using?
02:16:41.000 Are they using satellites?
02:16:43.000 What access to fucking killer weather technology do they really have?
02:16:47.000 Yeah.
02:16:48.000 What do they have?
02:16:49.000 Like, let's assume this is a conspiracy, because it might not have been.
02:16:52.000 It might be God.
02:16:53.000 God might have said, fuck this guy.
02:16:55.000 Yeah.
02:16:55.000 Which is horrible, because he also said, fuck the guy's daughter and a bunch of people working on the boat.
02:16:59.000 But if God did that, it's pretty crazy, right?
02:17:01.000 That's one option.
02:17:02.000 One option is it's some strange karma that God just decided it's your time.
02:17:05.000 Another option is just complete coincidence.
02:17:08.000 Just this took place to this guy.
02:17:10.000 He's just on the ocean and shit happens.
02:17:12.000 It's just crazy just circumstance and people are going to attribute it to a conspiracy.
02:17:18.000 The other possibility is that they can do that, that some force in the world has the kind of technology that can direct a storm to a very specific spot, that can create a water spout.
02:17:33.000 Like seeding the clouds or something.
02:17:35.000 Something probably more important, more complicated than that, like some sort of a direct energy weapon.
02:17:40.000 Something where they can do something with the ionosphere, do something with lasers.
02:17:47.000 I don't know what the fuck they're using.
02:17:48.000 But some kind of technology that can amplify weather and point it to a very specific place.
02:17:55.000 Which is crazy to think.
02:17:57.000 Imagine if there's a hurricane machine out there.
02:18:00.000 If we know that, like, Japan starts talking shit.
02:18:03.000 Oh, yeah?
02:18:03.000 You want to talk some shit?
02:18:04.000 How about we send a hurricane your way?
02:18:06.000 And you don't even know you can do hurricanes.
02:18:09.000 So if you don't know that we're creating the hurricane, you think you just got hit by a hurricane.
02:18:13.000 Right.
02:18:14.000 Like, how much control do they have over storms?
02:18:18.000 Or sieges.
02:18:19.000 Like, a siege used to be you surrounded the city and you kept any food from coming in.
02:18:23.000 Now, how about a drought for a year?
02:18:27.000 Right.
02:18:27.000 Right.
02:18:27.000 Maybe they can do that.
02:18:30.000 The story says that potentially could have been avoided if the ship had been treated or cared for correctly because they knew that a storm was coming and they didn't do some things they should have done, including button down all the hatches, lift up the anchor,
02:18:46.000 and a few other things were on the list I saw.
02:18:50.000 So there's an investigation going in.
02:18:52.000 They might have manslaughter charges or something.
02:18:56.000 Probable that offenses were committed because of the way that people set the boat up.
02:19:00.000 Yeah, they're not even positive.
02:19:02.000 They could have survived that storm if those things were done.
02:19:05.000 Stop trying to be a party pooper.
02:19:07.000 I'm trying to promote a conspiracy theory over here.
02:19:09.000 So imagine if you do have control of the weather, what would you do?
02:19:13.000 You'd start a storm first.
02:19:14.000 Can't just have this water spout appear out of nowhere.
02:19:16.000 Let's start a fucking storm.
02:19:17.000 Guys out there boating?
02:19:18.000 Okay, let's start a storm.
02:19:20.000 Can they start a storm?
02:19:22.000 Well, how much control?
02:19:23.000 I mean, I don't know anything about it except like, what do they call it?
02:19:27.000 Cloud seeding?
02:19:28.000 Cloud seeding is real.
02:19:29.000 How much control do we have over the weather now?
02:19:32.000 Well, cloud seeding is real.
02:19:35.000 They do it in Abu Dhabi once a week.
02:19:38.000 So they have, it rains once a week in Abu Dhabi, because they're insanely wealthy, right?
02:19:43.000 And they're like, wouldn't it be nice if it rained?
02:19:44.000 So let's fucking make it rain.
02:19:45.000 So there's chemical Z spray in the clouds, and it's something about it changes the weight of the water vapor.
02:19:52.000 But there has to be clouds.
02:19:53.000 Yeah, I think there has to be clouds.
02:19:55.000 But there's kind of always clouds, like some clouds.
02:19:58.000 In Dubai though recently they had a disaster where they they fucked up and they over amped and they got more rain than they've had in seven years And so there's like supercars like floating down the street like mad flooding because they don't really have the Infrastructure to deal with that kind of water like just pouring down.
02:20:17.000 Did you see any of that footage?
02:20:18.000 No.
02:20:18.000 I'm pretty sure this has all been They've all tied this into cloud seeding See if that's true.
02:20:26.000 But the footage of the flood is fucking bonkers.
02:20:29.000 So if there's cloud seeding, will there not be fighting between places about who gets to pull the water from the clouds?
02:20:36.000 Because you'll exhaust the air in the water eventually, in the sky eventually.
02:20:41.000 I wonder if that's true.
02:20:43.000 I wonder if there's more up there than we think there is.
02:20:47.000 And I wonder what the negative consequences are.
02:20:49.000 Like, does it have an effect on other parts of the world?
02:20:51.000 So the heavy rainfall continues to pound UAE. Several flights canceled.
02:20:57.000 So it was...
02:20:57.000 I had some friends that were over there while this was happening.
02:21:00.000 They said it was nuts.
02:21:02.000 Like, they're just not designed for that.
02:21:04.000 So buildings were leaking.
02:21:05.000 Like, everything was flooded.
02:21:08.000 These buildings are not really set up.
02:21:10.000 Look at all those cars sunk underwater.
02:21:13.000 These buildings, some of them are not really set up.
02:21:15.000 Look at the fucking airport.
02:21:16.000 That's nuts.
02:21:16.000 It's like a swimming pool.
02:21:18.000 They're not set up for this kind of rainfall or any kind of rainfall.
02:21:22.000 They probably did a shit job building them and they didn't weatherproof them.
02:21:26.000 They didn't think it was going to rain.
02:21:27.000 When you're in the desert, sometimes that shit backs up.
02:21:30.000 Yeah, but this is like raining for days.
02:21:32.000 So was it because of cloud seeding?
02:21:37.000 Does it say?
02:21:39.000 Google that.
02:21:40.000 I'm pretty sure they attribute it to the cloud seeding.
02:21:45.000 Which is nuts that they can do that.
02:21:46.000 That's wild.
02:21:48.000 So we can make it rain.
02:21:49.000 Yeah.
02:21:52.000 So that's kind of simple though.
02:21:56.000 That's not starting a storm and it's certainly not directing a storm.
02:22:00.000 So it makes you wonder, like, okay, that seems pretty straightforward, how they do the cloud seeding.
02:22:06.000 But is there any sort of technology that's even feasible that would allow you to manipulate the weather?
02:22:14.000 So if we understand the conditions in which certain storms emerge...
02:22:20.000 Like hurricanes.
02:22:21.000 It has to do with the warming of the ocean, like the ocean water.
02:22:28.000 And then a cold front coming in above it.
02:22:30.000 There's a bunch of different factors that happen, like would it be possible to mimic those conditions or to artificially stimulate those conditions?
02:22:38.000 Is it even feasible?
02:22:40.000 Like, how would you warm the ocean?
02:22:41.000 That's insane.
02:22:42.000 It's so big.
02:22:43.000 How are you going to do that?
02:22:44.000 I'm saying this is just a crazy weather event that happened with like a low pressure system not moving right.
02:22:48.000 They had forecasted that it was going to happen.
02:22:51.000 Did they do any cloud seeding though?
02:22:53.000 There's reports that cloud seeding may have had the thing, but the BBC says they're unable to independently identify whether cloud seeding took place.
02:23:00.000 Right, because if I was working for the UAE, I'd be like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
02:23:04.000 Cloud seeding?
02:23:05.000 Yeah.
02:23:05.000 Like, you know how much insurance is involved in all this?
02:23:07.000 No, no, no, this just happened.
02:23:08.000 Do you know how much money is lost there?
02:23:11.000 Just think of that.
02:23:12.000 Think of how much repairs, how many cars got drowned.
02:23:15.000 I didn't do it.
02:23:16.000 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
02:23:18.000 Cloud seeding?
02:23:19.000 What is this, a science fiction movie, bitch?
02:23:21.000 It's 20 people.
02:23:22.000 That's the department of cloud seeding.
02:23:23.000 We're not cloud seeding.
02:23:24.000 And they fucked up.
02:23:25.000 We're not cloud seeding.
02:23:26.000 We just...
02:23:26.000 Yeah.
02:23:26.000 It rained.
02:23:27.000 Yeah.
02:23:28.000 It rained in the middle of the desert.
02:23:29.000 By the way, the BBC... When I think about, because everybody talks about which news sources can you trust, and neither side trusts the other side.
02:23:37.000 BBC kind of feels like the place we can all go, that's pretty good.
02:23:42.000 They're pretty good.
02:23:43.000 Yeah, it's real hard with anything that's a corporation.
02:23:47.000 If you really want to get news, I get some unbiased news.
02:23:52.000 There's a thing, what is it called, 1492?
02:23:56.000 Is that what it's called?
02:23:56.000 Oh, yeah.
02:23:58.000 It's basically just fact-driven news stories, no editorial bend to it whatsoever.
02:24:03.000 Not owned by a board that's on one side or the other.
02:24:07.000 Exactly.
02:24:07.000 So I get that.
02:24:10.000 That's how I trust, like...
02:24:12.000 BBC's pretty good.
02:24:13.000 Guardian, BBC... But anybody that's got some sort of an agenda, any one way or the other, you know...
02:24:22.000 Whether it's to minimize one person's activity or maximize another person.
02:24:28.000 Just tell me what happened.
02:24:30.000 Tell me who did what and what took place and just don't give me any words like far right.
02:24:38.000 Don't say extremist.
02:24:39.000 Don't say any of that stuff.
02:24:40.000 Just tell me what a human being did, what another human, like what started this.
02:24:45.000 Well, that's why I prefer People magazine over us because, like, when I see Ben Affleck with a giant Starbucks cup and it says he's just like us, I'm like, fucking, that's it.
02:24:56.000 That's the real deal.
02:24:58.000 That's fact.
02:25:05.000 I used to read People magazine every week.
02:25:07.000 My wife was working at a doctor's office and I'd say, fucking steal that People magazine.
02:25:11.000 So nuts.
02:25:12.000 I just love...
02:25:13.000 I don't know why.
02:25:13.000 It's because it's so much...
02:25:14.000 After all the other bullshit news that you're looking at, just to go like, alright, I want to see a country singer who's got a new fucking baby.
02:25:23.000 It's sweet.
02:25:24.000 It's all just super low frequency information.
02:25:28.000 I used to love those fake ones.
02:25:32.000 Which ones were the ones that were talking about Bigfoot and UFOs all the time?
02:25:35.000 Oh, the National Enquirer?
02:25:37.000 No, not that one.
02:25:38.000 National Enquirer was like gossipy stuff.
02:25:39.000 Oh, the something.
02:25:40.000 World News.
02:25:41.000 World News Report.
02:25:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:25:43.000 That's the one.
02:25:44.000 Those are great.
02:25:45.000 Yes!
02:25:45.000 They had the worst, like, Photoshop pictures.
02:25:48.000 And I'm like, give me that.
02:25:49.000 What did you do?
02:25:50.000 What did you do?
02:25:51.000 My father was, you know, my father was in broadcasting and he did a lot of voiceovers.
02:25:55.000 And so one of his accounts was the, it was the National Enquirer.
02:26:00.000 And his voice would come on every week.
02:26:03.000 All the commercials for National Enquirer would come on.
02:26:06.000 Yeah, that's it, that's it.
02:26:08.000 I don't want to cut the story, sorry.
02:26:10.000 Just let me see some of those.
02:26:11.000 Look at the bat child.
02:26:12.000 Look at that.
02:26:13.000 Look at the bat child found in cave.
02:26:15.000 Hillary Clinton adopts alien baby.
02:26:20.000 Does look like Chelsea a little bit.
02:26:22.000 There's bat child found in cave.
02:26:24.000 Look at that.
02:26:25.000 Bat boy leads cops in three state chase.
02:26:28.000 First photos of heaven.
02:26:33.000 They're amazing!
02:26:34.000 It's amazing!
02:26:35.000 Computer virus spreads to humans.
02:26:39.000 Princess Diana's alive.
02:26:41.000 Batboy sided in New York City.
02:26:42.000 Batboy got a lot of coverage.
02:26:44.000 She must have sold a lot of episodes.
02:26:45.000 Pregnant man gives birth.
02:26:47.000 Look, that was ridiculous back then.
02:26:49.000 Now it's like, of course.
02:26:50.000 Of course he gave birth.
02:26:52.000 Oh my god.
02:26:53.000 There's Bigfoot runaway bride.
02:26:55.000 But look at the bride.
02:26:57.000 It's so clearly like a holograph.
02:26:59.000 They didn't even try.
02:27:00.000 It's a drawing.
02:27:01.000 It's a big foot with a fucking veil on.
02:27:05.000 Oh my god, Fat Cat owns 23 old ladies?
02:27:12.000 Titanic captain found a lifeboat.
02:27:15.000 Did you see that one?
02:27:17.000 Oh my god!
02:27:19.000 Oh, that's amazing.
02:27:20.000 It's so funny.
02:27:21.000 They were so good.
02:27:23.000 They were so good.
02:27:24.000 It was just ridiculous enough.
02:27:27.000 They were like, give me that.
02:27:28.000 Give me that.
02:27:29.000 What did you do?
02:27:30.000 You son of a bitch.
02:27:32.000 It was the onion before the onion was.
02:27:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:27:35.000 Oh yeah, there was always Bigfoot stories.
02:27:36.000 A lot of Bigfoot stories.
02:27:38.000 Oh, Jackie with Crippled Kennedy, proving he didn't die in Dallas.
02:27:42.000 He just got crippled.
02:27:44.000 Yeah, getting shot in the head will make you crippled on your...
02:27:47.000 It's funny, just circle a blurry photo.
02:27:49.000 That's him.
02:27:51.000 How the fuck do you know that's him?
02:27:53.000 It's so stupid.
02:27:54.000 They just lied to you.
02:27:56.000 But the lies are so ridiculous, it's like, it's okay.
02:27:59.000 Like, some kind of fraud we allow.
02:28:01.000 Like, we allow, like, preachers.
02:28:04.000 Like, televangelists.
02:28:06.000 Preachers?
02:28:07.000 How about fucking religion?
02:28:09.000 Oh, yeah.
02:28:10.000 How about this new kind of, like, the Christians are taking over the country and forcing us to put the Ten Commandments on the sides of fucking courthouses and get it taught in schools?
02:28:23.000 Who's doing that?
02:28:24.000 It's a fantasy!
02:28:25.000 Wait a minute, who's doing that?
02:28:26.000 What, the courthouses?
02:28:27.000 Yeah, where's that happening?
02:28:29.000 What state is that?
02:28:31.000 Maybe it's Texas?
02:28:32.000 I don't know.
02:28:33.000 Really?
02:28:34.000 Yeah.
02:28:35.000 Was the Ten Commandments always there, or are they trying to reintroduce it, or are they trying to introduce it?
02:28:41.000 Well, there's different Ten Commandments, first of all.
02:28:43.000 There's the Catholic Ten Commandments, and then there's the Lutheran Ten Commandments, so I don't even know which one they're using.
02:28:51.000 Is it Alabama?
02:28:53.000 One of the states is forcing them to put the Ten Commandments inside of courthouses.
02:29:01.000 ACLU sues over Ten Commandments in courthouse, saying biblical text violates religious liberty.
02:29:06.000 And this is from 2001. This is in the last year.
02:29:11.000 Are you sure you haven't been just on the Liberal News Report?
02:29:14.000 Positive.
02:29:14.000 Probably get it in Venice.
02:29:15.000 You guys all lie to each other.
02:29:17.000 It's all about homeless people and the Ten Commandments.
02:29:19.000 There's a story about a monument between the Texas State Capitol building and the State Supreme Court building.
02:29:24.000 Oh, it's just a monument?
02:29:26.000 It stood on grounds between Texas State Capitol building and the State Supreme Court building.
02:29:30.000 Monument was one of several scattered around the Capitol grounds.
02:29:33.000 Its location did not draw special attention to it.
02:29:36.000 That's not it.
02:29:37.000 You know what scholars from Israel think the Ten Commandments were?
02:29:40.000 What?
02:29:41.000 Moses and the burning bush, like that whole thing?
02:29:43.000 Yeah.
02:29:43.000 They think it was DMT. They think that the acacia bush is very rich in DMT. Yeah.
02:29:49.000 And they think it's indicative of a psychedelic experience.
02:29:52.000 And this is the, instead of smoking this compound, it's a burning bush.
02:29:57.000 Like this is how you would get that analogy.
02:29:59.000 Especially when you're dealing with a story that's told over a thousand years before it's ever written down.
02:30:04.000 Yeah.
02:30:04.000 And it's translated in all these different languages, but if you break it down to what it is these scholars now believe...
02:30:08.000 I love that.
02:30:09.000 ...some sort of a psychedelic experience where he comes back and said, God has given us these rules to live by.
02:30:13.000 In that case, I'm in.
02:30:15.000 I'm in on those Ten Commandments.
02:30:16.000 They came from somewhere real then.
02:30:18.000 Yeah.
02:30:19.000 Well, I think all of it, if you stop and think about...
02:30:22.000 I always bring this up, but it's a good point.
02:30:24.000 Like, in the beginning, there was light.
02:30:26.000 Well, isn't that the Big Bang?
02:30:28.000 I mean, we believe in that.
02:30:30.000 Like, all...
02:30:31.000 Scientists that are studying the origins of the universe believe in the Big Bang.
02:30:35.000 There's new people like, well, not new, like Sir Roger Penrose, who has been on the show before, who now believes that the Big Bang was the end of another universe and that it's probably this endless cycle.
02:30:48.000 And it's not as simple as there was nothing and then there was something, that there's always this expansion and contraction and then these cosmic events take place and they birth new universes.
02:30:59.000 They just manifest different types of life forms at different times.
02:31:02.000 That's all completely speculative, right?
02:31:04.000 What they do know is what they can see, right?
02:31:06.000 So what they can see is some sort of evidence, some sort of a background evidence of this event that took place.
02:31:17.000 They're still arguing about how much time ago it took because of the James Webb telescope.
02:31:22.000 They've seen some structures and some galaxies that Are so far away they shouldn't have been able to form in the amount of time that it took from the current understanding of the Big Bang.
02:31:31.000 And some people want to push the Big Bang back 22 billion years now instead of 13 billion years.
02:31:36.000 But it could be that that's just as far – because that's 22 billion years it takes for light to get there.
02:31:43.000 To reach us.
02:31:44.000 But if it's 100 billion years, that shit's never going to get there.
02:31:47.000 We're never going to see it.
02:31:48.000 So if it goes back further and further than that, it's just not available to us.
02:31:52.000 We don't have the ability to see it yet.
02:31:54.000 But we might.
02:31:55.000 Now with the James Webb, they can see far further back.
02:31:59.000 And with new telescopes they invent, and new methods of detection, they might be able to realize there's no end to this thing.
02:32:06.000 And there was no beginning, and it just keeps happening.
02:32:09.000 It's more logical than it not being true.
02:32:12.000 I mean, there's obviously—I mean, all the laws of physics are about the, you know, energy and mass not disappearing.
02:32:20.000 It exists, and there's different wavelengths that all life exists.
02:32:24.000 We're in such a slim— You know, a frame of energy that...
02:32:31.000 And now I feel like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
02:32:33.000 I know what you're saying, though.
02:32:34.000 Yeah, but it's not logical that there would be just this and not infinity.
02:32:40.000 It's silly.
02:32:41.000 But it's also, even if there wasn't, The universe is so crazy just what we know.
02:32:47.000 Even if we said, oh, it's only 13.7 billion years old.
02:32:52.000 You don't even know what that means.
02:32:54.000 You know how fucking big that is?
02:32:57.000 And by the way, we're not at the end of it.
02:32:58.000 It's not like it blew up and we're as far away.
02:33:01.000 We look back.
02:33:02.000 That's what we see.
02:33:02.000 No, it goes that far that way, too.
02:33:04.000 So it's fucking immense.
02:33:07.000 Beyond imagination.
02:33:08.000 You could put it into numbers, you could write it down, billion this, that.
02:33:12.000 It doesn't even register.
02:33:13.000 You can't imagine how long it would take to get there.
02:33:16.000 You can't imagine if you're going to speed of light something taking 13.7 Billion years to arrive at.
02:33:24.000 It's so big that even if that's it, that's the whole thing, even if it's finite, even if they define the universe as a structure, it's finite and it is X amount of billion years of light year travel until you reach the end of this structure.
02:33:37.000 Maybe it like rotates into itself.
02:33:38.000 Who knows?
02:33:40.000 It's still insane!
02:33:41.000 So the idea that it doesn't have a boundary, that there's more of them, that there's a multiverse, that there's an infinite number of them.
02:33:49.000 One of the theories is that in the center of every galaxy, there's a supermassive black hole, and if you go through that supermassive black hole, you will find another universe with hundreds of billions of galaxies.
02:33:59.000 Each one with a supermassive black hole in the middle of it, go through that, hundreds of billions of universes.
02:34:03.000 That it's never-ending and fractal.
02:34:05.000 Yeah, and also the fact that we can travel at a certain speed and the fact that there isn't another life force that can go instantaneously through incredible distances.
02:34:16.000 Probably for sure they can.
02:34:17.000 Yeah.
02:34:18.000 I mean, we were talking the other day, I had this guy on, and we were talking about imagine if you were living in the Roman Empire and you showed them a garage door opener.
02:34:26.000 They'd be like, what the fuck?
02:34:28.000 This is crazy!
02:34:30.000 You're nowhere near that thing.
02:34:31.000 You press a button and it goes up?
02:34:33.000 That's nuts!
02:34:34.000 It's a radio frequency, something you can't see, feel, or touch.
02:34:39.000 We think it's so crazy, but it might be how we travel through space in the future.
02:34:43.000 Just zip to some new spot.
02:34:46.000 It'd be super normal for us.
02:34:47.000 What, are you going to fly there like an idiot with a jet engine?
02:34:53.000 You're gonna need stopovers to refuel.
02:34:55.000 Yeah, and you hope you don't get hit by a micro meteorite along the way and you get annihilated.
02:35:00.000 Yeah.
02:35:00.000 You hear about those people that are stuck in the space station?
02:35:02.000 Yeah.
02:35:03.000 Bro, Elon has to go rescue them.
02:35:05.000 Is that what's gonna happen?
02:35:06.000 Yeah, Boeing can't get them.
02:35:08.000 They're having failures with their jets.
02:35:11.000 Apparently Boeing at one time was talking shit about SpaceX, and now Elon's talking shit to Boeing.
02:35:16.000 Oh, that's great.
02:35:17.000 Because they're gonna have to go rescue those people.
02:35:18.000 Yeah.
02:35:21.000 Is Russia or China, is anybody else going to the space station we can catch a ride from?
02:35:25.000 It would be nice.
02:35:26.000 Yeah.
02:35:26.000 That would be nice.
02:35:27.000 I don't know.
02:35:28.000 But I know you can't stay up there too long.
02:35:32.000 It's really bad for you.
02:35:33.000 I heard it's like nine months is the forecast right now of how long they can stay up there.
02:35:37.000 Do you know how long they're supposed to be there for?
02:35:38.000 No.
02:35:39.000 Eight days.
02:35:40.000 Oh.
02:35:43.000 No!
02:35:43.000 And how long are they saying?
02:35:44.000 I heard something like nine months.
02:35:46.000 This is no fewer than 240...
02:35:48.000 The Starliner...
02:35:50.000 It will amount to no fewer than 240 consecutive days since the spacecraft launched.
02:35:53.000 Yeah, so nine months.
02:35:54.000 When do they run out of food?
02:35:56.000 When do they run out of food?
02:35:57.000 When do they start eating each other?
02:35:59.000 Bro, when do they run out of food?
02:36:02.000 How much food do they have up there?
02:36:03.000 How can they have enough food?
02:36:05.000 How is it even possible?
02:36:07.000 What do they do with their shit?
02:36:09.000 They shoot it out into space?
02:36:10.000 Can't do that.
02:36:11.000 What if it lands on somebody?
02:36:13.000 Kill them.
02:36:14.000 That's happened before.
02:36:15.000 Really?
02:36:16.000 Yeah, they dropped it out of planes.
02:36:17.000 Frozen turds have come through people's fucking house roofs.
02:36:20.000 Yeah.
02:36:21.000 Like a brick of shit from the sky.
02:36:24.000 Boom!
02:36:25.000 Imagine you're watching the Super Bowl.
02:36:27.000 Like, this is amazing!
02:36:29.000 A brick of frozen shit from 180 passengers comes crashing through your kitchen roof.
02:36:37.000 Damn.
02:36:37.000 Who do you call for that?
02:36:39.000 Their ride is wisdom.
02:36:41.000 They just can't safely take it back.
02:36:44.000 Why?
02:36:45.000 The helium leaks in several issues with smaller thrusters.
02:36:49.000 It's been docked at the space station.
02:36:52.000 So like earlier this week they announced that it will undock without a crew in early September and come back to Earth while they wait for their ride sometime in 2025. Oh my god, in 2025. We are in August right now of 2024 talking about this.
02:37:08.000 Would you want to not just get on the thing and go with it?
02:37:11.000 No!
02:37:12.000 You're left in space.
02:37:13.000 Would you take your chance?
02:37:14.000 I don't know.
02:37:15.000 Oh, you might take your chance.
02:37:16.000 What if you're almost out of food?
02:37:17.000 Right, you might take a chance.
02:37:18.000 You know what's so fucking crazy is that it takes this long.
02:37:21.000 When you think about like, what was it, 1969?
02:37:25.000 When we went to the, when did we go to the moon the first time?
02:37:27.000 Allegedly.
02:37:27.000 Say allegedly.
02:37:28.000 Allegedly.
02:37:29.000 Allegedly.
02:37:31.000 That they basically took with no real computers, with, you know, none of the technology we have today.
02:37:38.000 Picture a 1969 fucking Camaro going up into space.
02:37:44.000 They got up to space in, you know, and they had a space program that was very accelerated.
02:37:50.000 They did this shit fast because Russia had thrown down the gauntlet.
02:37:53.000 They had already gotten there.
02:37:54.000 We wanted to get on the moon first.
02:37:56.000 Well, we all had Nazi scientists.
02:37:59.000 Oh, that's right.
02:38:00.000 Yeah.
02:38:00.000 Russia got a bunch and we got a bunch.
02:38:01.000 But dude, they got up there and then somebody hit a wrong button when they, I think, I guess this was, what was the first one?
02:38:08.000 Apollo 13?
02:38:09.000 Yeah.
02:38:09.000 They hit a wrong button on the computer and they went off course and they self-corrected on a fucking onboard computer.
02:38:18.000 Because, you know, if you miss the gravitational pull, you just fucking spin out into space and it's over.
02:38:24.000 And these dudes somehow made it.
02:38:28.000 With a V8 engine.
02:38:29.000 They just got to the moon.
02:38:32.000 I think it was an EcoBoost.
02:38:37.000 And then now today, how is it that it still takes us this long to do the same thing that they did 50 years ago?
02:38:44.000 Well, do you know that the Apollo missions were the only time that they ever sent a living thing into deep space and had to come back alive?
02:38:52.000 What?
02:38:53.000 Yeah.
02:38:54.000 They never sent anything into deep space.
02:38:56.000 They never sent a monkey to the moon and had to come back alive to see if the people could survive.
02:39:01.000 The first time they did it was with people.
02:39:03.000 Wow.
02:39:04.000 Yeah, seems odd.
02:39:05.000 Damn.
02:39:06.000 Seems odd that no mission other than the Apollo missions has ever been past Earth's gravity.
02:39:14.000 Yeah.
02:39:14.000 So the way all of these missions, like the space station mission, they're all like 300 miles, 350 miles, space shuttle missions, everything's inside 300 miles.
02:39:21.000 Uh-huh.
02:39:22.000 Because it's inside the Van Allen radiation belts.
02:39:24.000 Yeah.
02:39:24.000 So this is immense band of radiation that covers the Earth that...
02:39:29.000 I forget how many thousands of miles, but it's outside of where all the space travel is.
02:39:35.000 Yeah.
02:39:35.000 Except the Apollo's.
02:39:36.000 They went through it, no problem.
02:39:38.000 And they tried to blow a hole through it once.
02:39:41.000 They actually ignited a nuclear bomb in space.
02:39:44.000 It was Operation Starfish Prime.
02:39:46.000 So they shot a nuke up into space to try to clear a pathway so they could shoot a rocket through it and have no problems, and it made it way more radioactive.
02:39:56.000 Whoa!
02:39:56.000 It had the opposite effect.
02:39:58.000 Instead of blowing a hole through it, it just supercharged the belt.
02:40:01.000 No shit!
02:40:03.000 Yeah, it was a crazy experiment.
02:40:06.000 The idea that they would shoot a rocket into space and blow up a nuclear bomb.
02:40:14.000 What year was that?
02:40:17.000 Like pre-satellites?
02:40:20.000 67, 68, somewhere around then.
02:40:22.000 Maybe slightly earlier than that.
02:40:24.000 Okay.
02:40:25.000 Because now you'd fuck up all the telecommunications if you did that.
02:40:28.000 No, no, no.
02:40:29.000 Well, maybe.
02:40:30.000 It depends on where you do it, I guess.
02:40:32.000 But a solar flare could fuck up all of our communications.
02:40:35.000 Yeah.
02:40:35.000 One good blast and all of our satellites are down.
02:40:38.000 Yeah.
02:40:39.000 Starfish Prime is a high-altitude nuclear test conducted by...
02:40:42.000 It's just a test, Gregory.
02:40:44.000 A joint effort of the Atomic Energy Commission and the Defense Atomic Support...
02:40:49.000 Oh, 62. It was launched in Johnston Atoll in July 9, 1962. It was the largest nuclear test conducted in outer space and one of five conducted by the U.S. in space.
02:41:01.000 A Thor rocket.
02:41:03.000 Imagine your name on your rocket.
02:41:05.000 Thor.
02:41:05.000 Thor.
02:41:07.000 Containing a W-49 thermonuclear warhead designed at Los Alamos Scientific Laboratory and a mock MK-2 re-entry vehicle was launched from Johnston Atoll in the Pacific Ocean about 900 miles west-southwest of Hawaii.
02:41:23.000 The explosion took place at an altitude of 250 miles, not that high.
02:41:27.000 No!
02:41:28.000 That's not that high.
02:41:30.000 That's like right at the border of where I think the belts start.
02:41:35.000 I think the belts start at like around 300, 350, something like that.
02:41:39.000 Starfish test was one of five high-altitude tests grouped together as Operation Fishbowl.
02:41:43.000 I think in Hawaii they had power outages because of it.
02:41:49.000 Wow.
02:41:51.000 But did they have power outages?
02:41:52.000 Does it say they have power outages in Hawaii?
02:41:54.000 Does it say anything?
02:41:56.000 This is a whole Wikipedia on the thing, right?
02:41:58.000 Yeah.
02:42:00.000 Hmm.
02:42:01.000 I believe they did.
02:42:03.000 I think that was one of the issues.
02:42:04.000 After Effects.
02:42:06.000 Okay, here it goes.
02:42:07.000 While some of the energetic beta particles followed the Earth's magnetic field and illuminated the sky, other high-energy electrons became trapped and formed radiation belts around the Earth.
02:42:17.000 The added electrons increased the intensity of the electrons within the natural inner Van Allen radiation belt by several orders of magnitude.
02:42:25.000 What?
02:42:26.000 There was much uncertainty and debate about the composition, magnitude and potential adverse effects from the trapped radiation after the detonation.
02:42:36.000 The Weponeers became quite worried when three satellites in low Earth orbit were disabled.
02:42:42.000 These included the TRAAC and the Transit 4B. The half-life of the energetic electrons was only a few days.
02:42:50.000 At the time, it was not known that solar and cosmic particle fluxes varied by a factor of 10 and energies could exceed 1 MeV, whatever that means, in the months that followed.
02:43:01.000 These man-made radiation belts eventually caused six or more satellites to fail.
02:43:06.000 As radiation damaged their solar arrays or electronics, including the first commercial relay communications satellite, TELSTAR. Yeah, as well as the United Kingdom's first satellite detectors on Telstar TRAAC engine and aerial one were used to measure the distribution of the radiation produced by the tests.
02:43:26.000 So we fucked up England's satellite.
02:43:29.000 Those guys are out of their fucking mind.
02:43:30.000 That's insane.
02:43:31.000 Hey, fuck it.
02:43:31.000 Let's try this.
02:43:33.000 They're so crazy.
02:43:34.000 Oh my god.
02:43:35.000 Oh wait, look at this.
02:43:35.000 Exposure in outer space, the fallout from Starfish Prime was less than other ground tests.
02:43:41.000 Estimate for its health impacts and excess deaths, including from thyroid cancer, are hard to find.
02:43:47.000 But overall excess deaths impact of thousands of above ground tests have likely amounted to between 10,000 and 100,000 lives.
02:43:56.000 Just from the tests.
02:43:59.000 That's what killed John Wayne, you know.
02:44:01.000 Oh, is that right?
02:44:02.000 John Wayne and the whole cast of a movie he was on got cancer.
02:44:08.000 And they did these westerns out in Nevada.
02:44:12.000 Oh, that's what I meant before when I said Oklahoma.
02:44:14.000 I meant Nevada.
02:44:15.000 Yeah.
02:44:17.000 Nevada had a bunch of them.
02:44:18.000 Yeah.
02:44:18.000 That's why they got gambling.
02:44:20.000 Like, let's make a deal.
02:44:23.000 The Conqueror, 220 people on the set of The Conqueror.
02:44:26.000 91 were diagnosed with cancer, including both Wayne, who died in 1979 at 72, and his co-star, Susan Hayward, who died in 1975 at 57. Dude, John Wayne looked a lot older than 72 by the end.
02:44:40.000 That was a different time.
02:44:41.000 Yeah.
02:44:42.000 They didn't have no vitamins.
02:44:43.000 They ate mayonnaise.
02:44:43.000 I know.
02:44:44.000 They had no sunblock, no vegetables.
02:44:47.000 They just came out with margarine.
02:44:48.000 Yeah.
02:44:50.000 Margarine was big.
02:44:52.000 You know, non-stick surfaces on pans were made out of fucking toxins.
02:44:58.000 That was him at the end.
02:44:58.000 72. Look at him.
02:45:00.000 Wow.
02:45:00.000 Rough.
02:45:01.000 Rough time.
02:45:02.000 Dies at 72. The Duke.
02:45:04.000 Oh, I'll tell ya.
02:45:07.000 A.I., Quentin Tarantino movie.
02:45:09.000 John Wayne, The Last Gunslinger.
02:45:12.000 They say when, remember when Brando had the indigenous woman go up and accept his Oscar?
02:45:18.000 And she wasn't really indigenous?
02:45:20.000 Yeah.
02:45:20.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
02:45:21.000 Yeah, she was a con man.
02:45:22.000 Apparently John Wayne went out.
02:45:23.000 They had to physically restrain John Wayne.
02:45:26.000 Oh, he went nutty.
02:45:27.000 Yeah, he went nutty.
02:45:28.000 Yeah, that lady was crazy.
02:45:30.000 Her sister's like, we're not Indian.
02:45:31.000 Really?
02:45:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:45:32.000 That wasn't her name.
02:45:34.000 Yeah, she was like, outraged John Wayne had to be restrained by six guards during the Marlon Brando Oscar win.
02:45:41.000 I'll tell you what.
02:45:43.000 Find out that lady, that that lady was not really Native American.
02:45:47.000 She had made it all up.
02:45:48.000 She came up with a fake name.
02:45:49.000 She got up there with the whole poncho on and everything.
02:45:53.000 The ponytails!
02:45:55.000 She had the big tails, the braids.
02:45:57.000 It was Halloween at the Oscars.
02:45:58.000 Bro, she was like one of the first people that like stole culture.
02:46:03.000 And she spoke in like a broken English too.
02:46:05.000 Yes!
02:46:05.000 Amazing!
02:46:06.000 Yeah.
02:46:07.000 Amazing.
02:46:07.000 That's amazing.
02:46:08.000 Yeah, her sister ratted her out.
02:46:10.000 I'm pretty sure it was her sister.
02:46:12.000 Well that's what, I mean, talk about pre-internet, like the woman who ended up being a leader for the NAACP and she wasn't black.
02:46:20.000 Oh, Rachel Dolezal.
02:46:21.000 She was Jewish, yeah.
02:46:22.000 Yeah, you know, back then you couldn't be transracial, but I think that's coming.
02:46:26.000 I think she's ahead of her time.
02:46:27.000 Yeah.
02:46:28.000 I think she's ahead of her time.
02:46:29.000 I think you could probably be trans-white and no one will call you on it.
02:46:33.000 Trans-white is like, let him be white.
02:46:35.000 That's fine.
02:46:36.000 I identify as white.
02:46:37.000 Okay.
02:46:38.000 No one cares.
02:46:40.000 No one gets outraged when a woman turns into a man.
02:46:42.000 You're like, well, you probably shouldn't have done that, but good luck to you.
02:46:45.000 Nobody gets mad.
02:46:46.000 You're appropriating male culture.
02:46:48.000 Women get mad when men become women and then want to go in the women's room and appropriate women culture and then join women's groups and tell women what to do when they're biological males who identify as women.
02:46:59.000 Women get real upset.
02:47:00.000 But if a biological woman Wants to hang out with the guys.
02:47:04.000 Wants to pretend to be a guy.
02:47:05.000 You're like, I want to get on the board.
02:47:07.000 Like, no one's getting threatened.
02:47:09.000 Okay, Frank, join the board.
02:47:11.000 That's a good point.
02:47:12.000 Who cares?
02:47:13.000 Yeah.
02:47:13.000 The Jonathan thing isn't true.
02:47:15.000 What do you mean it's not true?
02:47:16.000 That he didn't rush the stage.
02:47:18.000 Oh, that's fake?
02:47:19.000 While I'm looking for this thing, I found the story saying that they had to debunk it every few years because it kind of comes back up.
02:47:25.000 Maybe he knew she wasn't really Indian, so he didn't charge the stage.
02:47:28.000 Maybe it's one of them QAnon things.
02:47:30.000 So what is the lady, though?
02:47:32.000 The story about the lady?
02:47:33.000 That's what I really wanted to hear about.
02:47:34.000 Because that's kooky.
02:47:36.000 There's a kooky thing that people do when they always pretend to be Native American.
02:47:39.000 No one pretends they're Polish.
02:47:44.000 No, I've got Polish roots.
02:47:45.000 Like, no one.
02:47:46.000 No one does that.
02:47:47.000 No one pretends to be Irish.
02:47:48.000 No, no one says I'm German when you're actually not.
02:47:52.000 Although some people pretend they're not German shortly after the war.
02:47:55.000 Yes, that's true.
02:47:55.000 Yeah, they moved to Argentina.
02:47:56.000 Yep.
02:47:57.000 Yeah, a lot of them.
02:47:58.000 Yep.
02:47:59.000 Yeah, and Brazil.
02:48:00.000 Communities of Brazil, they speak German.
02:48:02.000 Boys from Brazil.
02:48:03.000 Oh, yeah.
02:48:03.000 The Argentina thing is crazy.
02:48:05.000 Yeah.
02:48:06.000 Like, they had that show Finding Hitler, and they go down there, and there's, like, these people that have, like, photos of SS troops on their wall.
02:48:11.000 That was Grandpa.
02:48:12.000 Uh-huh.
02:48:12.000 And they wear lederhosen, and they have fucking Oktoberfest down there.
02:48:15.000 Yeah.
02:48:16.000 Yeah.
02:48:17.000 They all escaped.
02:48:18.000 Fuck.
02:48:19.000 It's crazy, dude.
02:48:20.000 Yeah.
02:48:20.000 It's crazy.
02:48:21.000 They got out.
02:48:22.000 You hear the story?
02:48:23.000 Yeah, but I'm making sure it's accurate because that was going around in 2022 and then more recently there's a documentary made and someone hired someone to look into all of this stuff and that's what I was just reading through to see what they found.
02:48:37.000 Because they might have found something that says that there is some sort of link but...
02:48:40.000 Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the the gal was she had some issues and was kind of like making stuff up.
02:48:48.000 Yeah.
02:48:49.000 I'm pretty sure.
02:48:52.000 That's fun.
02:48:53.000 Yeah.
02:48:54.000 Wild lady.
02:48:54.000 I bet she's fun to hang out with.
02:48:55.000 Yeah.
02:48:56.000 Wants to pretend to be an Indian.
02:48:57.000 Like, okay.
02:48:57.000 A little imagination.
02:48:58.000 Let's go.
02:48:58.000 Let's go camping.
02:49:00.000 Let's see what you really got.
02:49:02.000 Yeah, show me how to start a fire.
02:49:03.000 Go catch a fish.
02:49:04.000 Here's two rocks.
02:49:05.000 How do you do it?
02:49:06.000 How do you guys start a fire?
02:49:07.000 Show me how.
02:49:08.000 Yeah, her sisters were saying she was a fraud.
02:49:10.000 Yeah, her sisters ratted her out.
02:49:12.000 Yeah.
02:49:12.000 Pull the story up.
02:49:13.000 I'm trying.
02:49:13.000 It's covered by...
02:49:14.000 Goddamn ad blockers.
02:49:16.000 Yeah.
02:49:17.000 It's just that thing of people wanting to be something other than what they are is very weird, you know?
02:49:23.000 But the grass is always greener.
02:49:25.000 God, I wish I was a Native American.
02:49:27.000 That'd be so fucking cool, you know?
02:49:29.000 Like, you pretend you hear things.
02:49:30.000 Shh!
02:49:33.000 There she is!
02:49:35.000 Sasheen Littlefeather.
02:49:36.000 What a great name!
02:49:38.000 Lied about Native American ancestry, sisters claim.
02:49:40.000 It's a fraud, it's disgusting to the heritage of the tribal people, and it's just insulting to my parents.
02:49:46.000 She was a nutty lady.
02:49:47.000 She was pretty, though, too.
02:49:48.000 Yeah, she was gorgeous.
02:49:49.000 That's probably how she tricked Marlon Brando.
02:49:51.000 Oh, yeah.
02:49:51.000 She's probably hot.
02:49:52.000 She rubbed up against him and was like, I love her.
02:49:55.000 Indians.
02:49:56.000 A little feather.
02:49:57.000 Why don't you do me a favor?
02:49:59.000 Yeah.
02:49:59.000 That guy was out of his fucking mind.
02:50:01.000 Yeah.
02:50:02.000 Got an island.
02:50:03.000 Became 350 pounds.
02:50:05.000 Yeah.
02:50:06.000 Hung out by himself on an island.
02:50:07.000 Uh-huh.
02:50:09.000 But that's probably why he was so good.
02:50:11.000 You know, when you talk about, like, original comics, like, he's the original actor.
02:50:16.000 Yeah.
02:50:16.000 You know, Streetcar Named Desire?
02:50:17.000 Watch that movie.
02:50:18.000 Yeah.
02:50:19.000 Like, nobody acted like that back then.
02:50:21.000 Well, it was part of that whole—he went to the Neighborhood Playhouse in New York, and his class at the Neighborhood Playhouse was James Dean, Paul Newman—what was Paul Newman's wife's name?
02:50:34.000 She was a very famous actress as well.
02:50:36.000 Yeah, I don't remember.
02:50:37.000 It was this one group that started, and it was, you know, Stanislavski taught Meisner.
02:50:43.000 Meisner started the Neighborhood Playhouse.
02:50:46.000 And that whole voice in acting that was based on listening and answering and being in the moment, and it was about finding emotional truth and coming from that rather than from the dialogue.
02:50:57.000 You didn't study the dialogue and recite it.
02:51:00.000 You found...
02:51:01.000 Where the emotional truth of where this character was, and then you just unleashed it, and you found the moment in that.
02:51:10.000 And that started this whole kind of, like, realistic acting.
02:51:15.000 Right.
02:51:15.000 Because before that, they were like, say, get away from my girl!
02:51:18.000 It was all rhythm.
02:51:19.000 I'll suck ya!
02:51:20.000 Yeah, yeah, right, right, right.
02:51:22.000 Why I oughta...
02:51:24.000 Yeah, they talk so weird back then.
02:51:26.000 Yeah.
02:51:27.000 And they talk fake.
02:51:28.000 It was like fake.
02:51:29.000 Like he was the first guy to like, oh, it seems like he's really experiencing that right now.
02:51:33.000 He's really upset.
02:51:35.000 Yeah.
02:51:35.000 Yeah.
02:51:36.000 On the waterfront?
02:51:38.000 On the waterfront was incredible.
02:51:40.000 Yeah.
02:51:40.000 It was great.
02:51:41.000 I could have been a contender.
02:51:42.000 I could have been somebody instead of a bum.
02:51:45.000 Which is what I am.
02:51:47.000 And everybody was like, whoa, who's this guy?
02:51:50.000 Marlon Brando.
02:51:52.000 James Dean.
02:51:53.000 Same kind of thing, you know?
02:51:54.000 They just broke down on stage.
02:51:56.000 The emotions they had.
02:51:57.000 And Newman, too, in The Hustler.
02:51:59.000 Oh, my God.
02:52:01.000 Incredible.
02:52:01.000 Incredible.
02:52:03.000 That's 1963. That's the year Kennedy was shot.
02:52:05.000 That movie came out.
02:52:07.000 Oh, no shit.
02:52:08.000 I just re-watched it recently.
02:52:09.000 It's fucking dark, man.
02:52:11.000 It's so good.
02:52:12.000 So good.
02:52:13.000 Jackie Gleason was fucking amazing.
02:52:15.000 First guy ever to play a pool player that you could say, oh, that guy could actually play pool.
02:52:19.000 Right.
02:52:19.000 He's the only one.
02:52:20.000 Yeah.
02:52:21.000 He's the only one where I buy it, hook, line, and sinker.
02:52:23.000 You watch him play the balls, you're like, that guy can play.
02:52:25.000 Mm-hmm.
02:52:26.000 Yep.
02:52:26.000 But Paul Newman, like, come on.
02:52:29.000 Tom Cruise?
02:52:29.000 You weren't buying Tom Cruise?
02:52:30.000 No.
02:52:32.000 Rudimentary.
02:52:32.000 He didn't move the ball.
02:52:34.000 Anybody can make a straight-in shot if you teach them.
02:52:37.000 It's like, can you move the ball?
02:52:40.000 It takes so long to be able to stroke a ball, to be able to get draw, stroke, full-length draw, put English, side spin, adjust for the way it's going to deflect off the other ball, get position on the next shot.
02:52:54.000 That's what I want to see.
02:52:54.000 And you don't see that in movies where a guy's playing pool except for Gleason.
02:52:58.000 When Gleason's making those shots, you're like, that guy can fucking play.
02:53:02.000 He's going into the rack.
02:53:04.000 He's moving the ball around.
02:53:05.000 You're like, that guy's a player.
02:53:07.000 He can run 100 balls.
02:53:08.000 Was that character based on Willie Moscone?
02:53:11.000 No.
02:53:12.000 Neither one.
02:53:13.000 No.
02:53:14.000 Minnesota Fats used to be called New York Fats.
02:53:17.000 And he changed his name to Minnesota Fats after the movie.
02:53:21.000 That movie was all about me.
02:53:22.000 Oh, no shit.
02:53:23.000 Yeah, he was a con man.
02:53:24.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
02:53:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:53:26.000 He was a hustler, a real hustler.
02:53:28.000 Minnesota Fats was a very good pool player, but not nearly as good as Willie Moscone.
02:53:32.000 Willie Moscone was in The Hustler.
02:53:34.000 Yeah, yeah, that's right.
02:53:35.000 He was one of the guys racking the balls when they had the first big match.
02:53:38.000 But Willie Moscone was like a real world champion pool player.
02:53:43.000 But...
02:53:43.000 Minnesota Fats was just a really good player.
02:53:46.000 I heard he was a good gambler.
02:53:48.000 I heard that Willie was a better tournament player and that Fats was a better money player.
02:53:55.000 Perhaps.
02:53:56.000 Moscone was just a better player.
02:53:57.000 Period.
02:53:58.000 All around.
02:53:59.000 He'd beat him in everything that they would ever play in.
02:54:01.000 There's not a chance in hell that...
02:54:03.000 Except there's a game called One Pocket.
02:54:05.000 And that was one of the games that Minnesota Fats was an expert at.
02:54:08.000 And One Pocket is a complicated game where like...
02:54:12.000 Do you know how to play it?
02:54:13.000 No.
02:54:28.000 And so you can make a spot, too.
02:54:30.000 Like, say, if I'm a better player than you, I say, I'll spot you 10 to 5. You only need to make 5 balls and you win.
02:54:35.000 I need to make 10 balls in my hole and you win.
02:54:37.000 And so it's all about moving balls around.
02:54:39.000 So you want to keep the cue ball in a position where you can't possibly make a ball in that corner.
02:54:43.000 And you want to nudge balls slowly towards your corner.
02:54:47.000 It's all about not making any drastic moves and understanding how to play the game.
02:54:52.000 Super complicated gambler's game.
02:54:54.000 So a lot of times when people are playing for a lot of money, they like to play this game.
02:54:59.000 Wow.
02:54:59.000 Games take forever.
02:55:00.000 A game might take three hours for one game.
02:55:02.000 Yeah.
02:55:03.000 So if you pot a ball in another pocket, does it stay down?
02:55:06.000 No.
02:55:06.000 If you pot a ball in a side pocket, it comes back up and it gets spotted.
02:55:10.000 If you pot a ball in the other guy's pocket accidentally, that's his ball.
02:55:15.000 Oh.
02:55:15.000 And then you lose your spot.
02:55:17.000 Dude, we should play that one day.
02:55:19.000 It's boring as shit.
02:55:20.000 Oh, is it?
02:55:20.000 Yeah, you'll go mad.
02:55:22.000 You just take wild shots and then you fuck up and you scatter the rack and then the guy runs out.
02:55:26.000 Uh-huh.
02:55:27.000 I am too ADD for that.
02:55:28.000 I need to be moving the ball around.
02:55:30.000 I like to play position on the next shot and then that to the next shot.
02:55:33.000 But it's a very complicated game that really good players play.
02:55:36.000 Minnesota Fats, the real New York Fats is his real name.
02:55:40.000 Rudolph Wanderone was his name.
02:55:41.000 He was a really good player at that.
02:55:43.000 That's the gambling game.
02:55:44.000 To this day, when guys match up, One of the things that happens, like if there's big tournaments, certain guys will show up where these big tournaments are that are just one pocket players.
02:55:54.000 And they try to entice one of these pros into a game of one pocket.
02:55:59.000 And then they'll bet $50,000, $60,000, $100,000.
02:56:03.000 You hear about these things.
02:56:04.000 This is a place called the Derby City Classic.
02:56:06.000 It happens every year.
02:56:07.000 I think it's in Louisville still.
02:56:09.000 But these guys go down there and it's like a 10-day festival where road players just go down and meet each other.
02:56:15.000 They play in tournaments and they try to gamble each other.
02:56:18.000 Play like two-day games.
02:56:19.000 Oh, yeah.
02:56:20.000 They do fucking math and stay up for three days in a row, I bet.
02:56:23.000 That's what they used to do.
02:56:24.000 They used to all do amphetamines like back in the 70s.
02:56:27.000 They were all real skinny.
02:56:28.000 Yeah.
02:56:29.000 Real skinny and wired and couldn't miss a ball.
02:56:31.000 Uh-huh.
02:56:32.000 No, that's the thing about pool when you play for a long time, you know, in one match, is you just lose focus for a second.
02:56:39.000 And then all of a sudden, it's like golf is the same way.
02:56:43.000 You have to go from hyper-focused, totally present, to like relaxing, shooting the shit.
02:56:49.000 Yeah.
02:56:50.000 Listening to music, whatever.
02:56:51.000 And then hyper-focus again.
02:56:52.000 Yeah.
02:56:53.000 Yeah.
02:56:54.000 Yeah, it's a complicated game.
02:56:57.000 Unfortunately, it's not that popular anymore.
02:56:59.000 You know, it's just video games are too good.
02:57:01.000 It's too easy to entice people into video game land.
02:57:04.000 You mean instead of pool in general?
02:57:06.000 Yeah.
02:57:06.000 If there was nothing but pool, all these young kids would be into playing pool because it's so exciting.
02:57:11.000 My daughter's obsessed with pool.
02:57:12.000 Really?
02:57:13.000 Yeah, so I used to bring her.
02:57:14.000 When she was like...
02:57:16.000 19 and 20, she was into pool, but there's no fucking pool halls on the west side in LA. And so she had a fake ID. Isn't there House of Billiards in Santa Monica?
02:57:25.000 Closed.
02:57:25.000 When did it go under?
02:57:26.000 Like three years ago.
02:57:29.000 So I would bring her.
02:57:30.000 She had a fake ID, and we would go shoot bar pool, and we'd play as a team.
02:57:35.000 And I taught her everything, and we would go in, and it was so funny because we'd play against another couple.
02:57:40.000 It was two guys.
02:57:41.000 And we'd start shooting, and she got pretty good.
02:57:44.000 And you know me.
02:57:45.000 I'm okay.
02:57:46.000 And so we would win some games, and then she would say something like, oh, yeah, my father was saying it.
02:57:52.000 And then we'd go, oh, thank God, that's your father.
02:57:54.000 We thought it was your boyfriend.
02:57:59.000 Some old creep who found some young, talented pool player to take under his wing.
02:58:03.000 But that's what she does.
02:58:04.000 She goes out at night with her friends, and she's like that pool junkie, the one that's all night long hanging around the table.
02:58:12.000 Where does she live now?
02:58:13.000 On the west side.
02:58:14.000 Okay.
02:58:15.000 Is there places that you can go to?
02:58:17.000 No pool halls.
02:58:19.000 None?
02:58:19.000 Just bars with tables.
02:58:20.000 God damn.
02:58:21.000 I think there's one in Brentwood, but that's far.
02:58:24.000 But Hollywood Billiards was the place.
02:58:26.000 Yeah, that place was great.
02:58:28.000 Yeah.
02:58:29.000 There was an original Hollywood Billiards that I went.
02:58:31.000 The first time I went to LA was in 94, but that place got condemned after the earthquake.
02:58:36.000 Oh.
02:58:36.000 So then they moved it to that big place with the parking lot.
02:58:39.000 Yeah.
02:58:39.000 And that place, I think, was hard to keep up.
02:58:40.000 I used to shoot with Adam Farrar over there sometimes.
02:58:43.000 He's a good player.
02:58:44.000 I used to shoot with him in House of Billiards.
02:58:46.000 And the one in Studio City?
02:58:50.000 Is that where it's at?
02:58:52.000 Maybe it's on Studio City.
02:58:54.000 Somewhere in the valley, there was a house of billiards.
02:58:58.000 God damn it.
02:58:58.000 I used to do the Monday Night Tournament there.
02:59:00.000 Oh, really?
02:59:00.000 What is it?
02:59:02.000 Nine ball tournament?
02:59:04.000 Yeah.
02:59:04.000 Sherman Oaks.
02:59:05.000 Sherman Oaks, that's right.
02:59:06.000 I used to go there with Dom too.
02:59:10.000 Yeah, I used to shoot with Dom.
02:59:12.000 He's fun to play with.
02:59:14.000 Yeah, that's how Dom and I became friends.
02:59:15.000 Dom and I did Montreal together in like 93 and then I was at Amsterdam Billiards when it was on the west side and I showed up and I had my own queue and I was putting my queue together and Dom Herrera walked in.
02:59:28.000 And he goes, oh, hey, Joseph.
02:59:29.000 I go, you play pool?
02:59:30.000 He had his own cue, too.
02:59:31.000 I'm like, let's fucking play.
02:59:33.000 And we played for hours.
02:59:35.000 You know who owned that pool home?
02:59:36.000 David Brenner.
02:59:37.000 Yeah, stand-up comedian.
02:59:40.000 So listen, dude, let's wrap this up, because I've got to pee.
02:59:42.000 Your special, it's out...
02:59:45.000 It's called You Know Me.
02:59:46.000 It's on YouTube, and you can go to Fitzdog.com and link to it from that.
02:59:50.000 I got some tour dates coming up at Denver Comedy Works this weekend.
02:59:55.000 Fitzdog.com calendars up there.
02:59:57.000 Fitzdog.com calendars up there, Tacoma and Tulsa.
03:00:00.000 This coming weekend, you're at the Comedy Works, which is one of the best clubs that's ever existed.
03:00:04.000 So much fun.
03:00:05.000 Amazing place.
03:00:06.000 And great history to it, and Wendy's the best.
03:00:08.000 Yeah, Wendy Curtis, shout out.
03:00:10.000 Shout out to Wendy.
03:00:11.000 Alright, anything else?
03:00:13.000 Instagram?
03:00:14.000 Sunday Papers and Fitzdog Radio were the two podcasts, and Childish, and you can catch those on my YouTube page as well.
03:00:22.000 Alright, my brother.
03:00:23.000 It was good to see you.
03:00:23.000 Alright, you too, man.
03:00:24.000 Thanks.
03:00:25.000 Bye, everybody.