In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys talk about Ice Cube and his big ass, the Fleshlight, and how to shave your balls in front of a mirror. Also, we talk about how much better it is to masturbate with a rubber pussy than a real one. Joe also talks about how he thinks it's better than having sex with a real woman and why he doesn't want to be in a threesome. The boys also talk about what it's like to be on a reality TV show with a woman who has a big ass. And, of course, they talk about sex in the bushes. This episode is brought to you by The Fleshlight. They give you 15% off your first purchase when you enter in my last name, and then you have to pay less money to get your freak on. They give me money, or you get a 15% discount. Isn't that amazing? It really is a great product, it's a solid one. I mean, that's legit. If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link below, then you enter your last name in my name and you get 15% of your purchase. I don't know what else you can do with this deal, but I'm sure you'll agree it's worth it. Enjoy! -Joe Rogan and the boys XOXO -The Joe Rogans Experience Podcast. -J.Rogan Experience Podcast is a podcast where we discuss all things sex, comedy, and pop culture, and other things related to pop culture. . and other stuff going on the internet. Thank you for listening to the pod! -Your Hosts: , & Thank You, Cheers, -Drew, , Jake, Jake, and the Crew Jake, the Crew, and Joe, the Jerks, and The Crew, the , and the Podcast, and , the Crew. Joe, The Crew - The Jerks ( ) and The Jerk Chorus. Jake and the crew. (The Jerk Podcast, the Crew! and The Rogan, Jake & The Crew . , The Jerky, and the Jerk, & the Crew , and The Podcast - The Crew ( ) -
00:00:49.000If you're going to masturbate, it's 100 times better than your hand.
00:00:52.000It's one of those things where people would give a shit about it, and they have from the beginning, and we don't have to name names, but certain people who might have a vested interest in my professional career, they think, well, Joe Rogan, I just don't think that's the right thing to do.
00:01:04.000Joe Rogan, that just seems like a fucking disgusting thing to be endorsing.
00:01:08.000How dare you take me, a person who has basically staked my whole fucking existence on telling the truth about everything, no matter how uncomfortable it is, and you want me to shut down the rubber pussy business?
00:01:57.000You do have the possibility of waking up with someone screaming at you while you've got the fleshlight still on your dick and you're out cold with your pants down with your ankles.
00:02:04.000I never thought about that, Jeb, because you really do.
00:02:06.000When you're fucking, you have the extra pulsing of your dick.
00:02:09.000You know, like that little extra pumping.
00:02:28.000If you're going to wash it off in your bathroom, I usually keep it right on my sink while it's drying and stuff.
00:02:35.000Don't use your hair clippers anywhere near it because I got a bunch of hair all over it and it's impossible to get hair pieces off your fleshlight.
00:02:43.000So now mine looks like it has a 5 o'clock shadow.
00:06:10.000I swear to God, if you're happy and you're feeling good from all this stuff and you're experiencing a benefit from nootropics, I don't even care.
00:06:38.000You just tell us and you get your money back.
00:06:40.000We're trying as hard as humanly possible to not rip anybody off and to sell something that I believe in and that I've been using for a long time.
00:06:51.000I'm a big advocate of vitamins and supplements and eating healthy foods and a lot of fresh vegetables and get your phytonutrients in and healthy bacteria in your body like probiotics.
00:07:06.000I'm a big fan of acidophilus and I'm a big fan of nootropics.
00:07:10.000If you're interested in any of this stuff, please Google it.
00:07:14.000It's N-O-O-T-R-O-P-I-C. That's the word, nootropic.
00:09:00.000Mike Dolce, you are a nutritional consultant to all these various MMA fighters and probably the most famous one, certainly the most famous one by a long shot.
00:09:11.000I can't think of anybody who has gotten so many different fighters on track as far as nutrition, as far as getting their weight in order.
00:09:22.000So many guys like Tiago Alves who had always had problems.
00:12:08.000That's the end of the Earth, I think, is the modification, the alteration of our DNA, of the human race, let's say, through new food sources.
00:13:26.000So if you have some plants and you think you're gonna just go old school American Indian style and just take the seeds from them and we'll harvest and we'll create a beautiful sustainable environment.
00:14:12.000But what's happening is they essentially go in economic hitman style and offer these people seeds and sort of take over the situation and make sure that these people are using their stuff.
00:14:24.000And then the farmers, they get stuck owing fuckloads of money.
00:18:38.000And everybody treats it like it's no big deal.
00:18:40.000Like you're out there just, even if you were playing pool, if you were lined up on a difficult shot and a bunch of people were talking, you'd be like, will you shut the fuck up?
00:18:56.000Well, I mean, everybody has, we all have yes men, right, in our own way, and it's the motivation, or it's what's best for the athlete at that given time.
00:19:03.000You know, some athletes need some yes men around them just to keep their confidence up and keep their lifestyle secure.
00:19:09.000But it's the people that are kind of pushing in the wrong areas at that given point, you know, eight weeks before a fight, six, four, two, you know, the closer you get, the less room for inefficiency, I think you have.
00:19:21.000So you kind of I think I help with some guys eliminate that.
00:19:25.000Sometimes it's through training too much, too little, sleep patterns, just perception.
00:19:31.000And sometimes it's other aspects of the team.
00:19:34.000Maybe not it's external, it's internal.
00:19:37.000The striking coach or the wrestling coach or one coach wants to do too much or all the coaches want to do too much.
00:19:42.000So being that I'm with the athlete more often, I can see what their recuperation level is, how they're performing daily and kind of moderate the peaking, let's say, or the intensity and the volume of the overall training session.
00:19:56.000So when you go to these different camps, do you see like a constant paradigm like replaying itself over and over again or one guy's trying to get in control of the camp and the other guy's trying to push that guy out?
00:20:09.000Do you see like a lot of that psychological bullshit that goes on behind the scenes?
00:20:12.000Yeah, but I don't think it's any different in a fight camp than it is in a family or an office environment or the PTA. That's probably worse, but it's everywhere.
00:20:23.000I'm blessed that a lot of the teams that I work with, I'm fortunate enough to work with, there's none of that.
00:20:27.000We all respect each other as professionals.
00:20:33.000I'm the best damn keyboard builder in the world.
00:20:36.000That's what I do, and that's all I want to do.
00:20:37.000I can certainly help the guy that's building the monitor in the office next to me, but I'm the best keyboard guy, and we'll communicate around the board, and we'll give everything to the man on top.
00:20:48.000I don't think people realize the importance for a fighter of having a strong and professional team.
00:20:55.000Having people that are not bullshit artists, they're not charlatans, they're not egomaniacs, they know what the fuck they're doing, they're professionals.
00:21:14.000And, you know, one of the things that's driving me crazy is all these fighters that are getting injured, like Dominic Cruz got injured, because they're all training together all in one room.
00:21:22.000Dominic Cruz is preparing to defend his fucking bantamweight world title, and his knee gets blown out because someone lands on him.
00:22:24.000When you come to a camp, you're obviously brought in for nutrition, but if you see some other bullshit, some things that you need to deal with, some things that you'd say to the athlete, here's your problem.
00:22:38.000You have this big social drama going on, and you've got to pick a side and stick with that, and then be done with this.
00:22:44.000Because otherwise, you're dealing with this fucking social shit, and that's taking up resources that you could be using to train and concentrate on your opponent.
00:23:03.000And you have the luxury of really being so requested that you don't have to worry about this one guy who's going to fire you because you upset his friend.
00:23:48.000You would think this dude ain't taking no shit from nobody.
00:23:50.000And, you know, night before his fight, his girlfriend wants to fucking fight all night and won't let him sleep and keeps waking him up and fucking with him, calling him a loser and leaves in the middle of the night and doesn't say where he's going.
00:24:13.000To become a professional athlete, to become a guy especially who wants to be a cage fighter, you know, a lot of these people are, you know, they're the type of impulsive athletes that attract crazy broads.
00:24:26.000Because crazy broads do nutty shit, like, you know...
00:24:30.000You know, they'll suck your dick like 10 minutes after meeting you and you're like, whoa, this bitch is hot.
00:26:22.000So you push the water through your body to start the digestive process to start working, to prepare your digestive environment for the food that's next to come.
00:26:31.000So now you put the nutrients into the body.
00:26:33.000We get the metabolism start to work, start to process.
00:26:36.000And then if you're a coffee drinker, then you can have some coffee, which is acidic.
00:26:40.000So you want something already down there to not increase or overload the digestive system with the acidity, which is harsh.
00:29:30.000Yeah, how many days does that wear off?
00:29:32.000I don't know the life of it specifically, but I know guys can be on it Fight Week and test fine and be legal.
00:29:38.000On the up and up, disclose everything, it's no problem.
00:29:40.000I've never done Xanax, but from what I understand, one of the problems with Xanax is although it alleviates anxiety, there's sort of a rubber band effect.
00:29:48.000And after it wears off, you're more anxious than you were even before you took it.
00:29:53.000So if you take 10 milligrams of Valium, your body only really uses 5. The only five, the other five go into your body and sit there.
00:30:01.000So the next morning when you wake up and you blow those two hits to take a ride to fucking work, those two hits of that fucking number are stronger than what they usually are.
00:30:09.000Because Valium sits in your fat and your body releases it as it needs it.
00:30:14.000So it might need it to fall asleep, but then it holds on to the rest.
00:30:17.000That's what I don't like about Valium.
00:31:12.000Horrific to the point where I gave them to Sergio Love and this motherfucker called me the next day and said, dog, whatever was in that shit is bad.
00:31:20.000When Sergio Love called me, I told you this other part, he's a friend of mine.
00:31:23.000Yeah, you told me you gave him medication.
00:34:42.000And because you manage your life the correct way, because you get to a situation where you have a lot of good fortune and you have a lot of good friends, literally your mental state becomes a happier mental state.
00:34:57.000What people don't understand is a lot of the reason why you feel like shit is because your life fucking sucks.
00:35:03.000And you're supposed to feel like shit to motivate you to get the fuck out of the life you're in.
00:35:08.000Whether it's a relationship, whether it's a job, whatever the situation is that sucks.
00:35:12.000Whatever the thing is inside you that's rotting you out from the inside.
00:35:16.000Whether it's you wanted to do something else but you didn't have the balls to pursue it.
00:35:19.000You wanted another girl but you couldn't keep her because you're a liar.
00:35:22.000Whatever the fuck it is that eats at you, you gotta straighten that shit out or you will never be happy.
00:35:27.000You can't just flood yourself with chemicals and trick your brains thinking that this reality is acceptable because that's not really what's going on.
00:35:34.000What's going on is you know that you haven't done the best that you can do.
00:35:41.000What about the fighter that's fighting for the championship of the world on Saturday?
00:35:45.000And two weeks before he's fighting for the championship of the world, he starts thinking about his childhood for whatever fucking stupid reason.
00:37:39.000You, in a parallel universe, could be negative just because you woke up one day and you had cornflakes instead of your grain smoothie.
00:37:45.000And then you kind of were with a bunch of people and they're smoking cigarettes in the car and they're listening to this song that you don't like and you're stuck in traffic and your day kind of goes shit even more.
00:37:53.000And then there's no coffee at the coffee spot.
00:37:54.000You don't have time to get there because you're late for the meeting.
00:37:56.000Your day keeps spiraling farther and farther on that negative route and then it kind of keeps going that way.
00:38:01.000And that's where a lot of people fall off track.
00:38:03.000I deal with a lot of people that are unhappy because they're overweight, but why are they overweight?
00:38:08.000They're overweight because they're unhappy, so they emotionally eat, or they know that they're not making good decisions, so they don't feel like they deserve good things, so they kind of inflict negative situations on themselves, eat bad things, smoke cigarettes, hang out with bad people, and they're kind of caught in that funk.
00:38:22.000But it's easy to get out of that funk with a decision.
00:39:16.000It's the same thing that makes you be a junkie.
00:39:18.000It's the same thing that makes you be a gambler.
00:39:21.000And it's so, what we were discussing before the show started, you said don't talk, was that people in America don't really fucking know where to get off that train.
00:39:50.000You know, one night you go on the fucking road, and you go to this comedy club, and you're hungry, and you're on the road for eight fucking weeks straight.
00:39:57.000I don't mean eight weeks fucking straight in those shit fucking clubs.
00:41:16.000There's not a kid playing on a fucking street no more.
00:41:18.000You mean out of all those fucking houses, there's not one parent that can go, listen, on Monday I'm going to come out and play stickball with these fat fucks who are on a computer with a knapsack with computers.
00:42:03.000When I see Joe drinking a beer, you don't think I want to grab a beer.
00:42:06.000Mike Dolce, I do the worst thing in the world.
00:42:07.000I get so bored and so embarrassed of being a mutt that all I do is smoke pot like a 13-year-old that sometimes give me a fucking cigarette because I got to feel like I'm doing something.
00:42:16.000You know what the fucking bartender told me once at the comedy store?
00:42:18.000That I drank 16 sodas while I was there one night.
00:42:46.000It started with the fucking character, which is getting up in the morning and walking, like you said, to the mailbox and touching it and walking back.
00:42:53.000Bob Zaney used to take a bus from Hollywood to fucking west side of L.A. and walk back.
00:43:12.000I knew if I went to Eddie and said, Eddie, I want to lose weight, he would have thrown me into the fucking spectrum of jiu-jitsu and I would have broke my fucking back.
00:43:18.000Because I was 4'15", and I told you, the first time I got on the fucking treadmill, I could only do two minutes.
00:43:23.000The little guy said, bro, you got to quit.
00:45:47.000For the beginner, it's really to get people active to build that base.
00:45:51.000A lot of times, like Joey's saying, people, they're out of shape for whatever reason.
00:45:55.000They've been making a negative decision, now they make a positive decision.
00:45:57.000They walk into the gym or they have a little treadmill at their house, whatever it is.
00:46:01.000They start to exercise and they do it wrong because they follow what they see on TV or they follow what they saw in Self Magazine or whatever it is.
00:46:39.000Made tremendous amount of progress in a short period of time.
00:46:41.000Instead of just jumping in and doing, you know, four miles an hour is you're slow and then six or eight miles an hour is you're fast, which is what most other people do.
00:46:49.000So it's, in the book, I kind of break it down.
00:48:51.000And I was in the industry, so I know very specifically what the athlete goes through.
00:48:57.000Did you find yourself in a situation when you were thinking about not doing it anymore, when you were wondering if you were doing it anymore, where you had one foot in and one foot out?
00:49:06.000Yeah, since my first fight in the IFL. First fight in the IFL, you know, I got two pro fights.
00:49:12.000And two or three pro fights first fight in the IFL. I knocked this kid out.
00:49:14.000It's the fastest record in the history of the IFL. It's the big hoopla.
00:49:18.000It's on TV. And the win, you know, it's team format.
00:50:46.000You shouldn't have anything else on your mind.
00:50:48.000I mean, you could have distractions and hobbies and all that good stuff, but when you're training, it's an amazing amount of time these guys have to devote.
00:51:10.000It's the psychological impact of knowing six weeks from now, five weeks from now, four weeks from now, there's another bastard somewhere on this planet training and he's going to meet you at a certain point.
00:51:20.000At a certain time, and your whole family's going to be there, and everyone you went to school with is going to be there.
00:51:24.000And he can do some shit that you can do, and you know what you've done to people, and you think, that might get done to me.
00:52:07.000There's an interesting turn that a fighter takes when they realize they're never going to be the best and they're just sort of doing it to fight.
00:52:19.000You can almost see their color change.
00:52:23.000They go from being this streaking thing that's constantly improving to something that levels off and in fact usually dwindles a little bit.
00:52:32.000Sometimes guys get a little bit better.
00:52:35.000But there's young guys that come up and there's one beating or two beatings that they get somewhere along the line that make them realize, like, you're never going to beat this guy.
00:52:43.000Not, you know, I'll take it out of MMA because we have close contacts, but boxing, look at James Kirkland.
00:54:57.000Maybe you're at one mile an hour, you know, a 30 second jog and then a, you know, two mile an hour, 30 second jog and then one mile an hour, two minute walk.
00:55:05.000Do you have something that could be adapted to an elliptical machine?
00:55:09.000Obviously, you wouldn't be able to regulate the miles an hour as closely.
00:55:13.000The intensity is the watts on the elliptical machine.
00:55:16.000All the machines have a way of regulating intensity and displaying it to you, even on the row or how many rows per second or per minute or what.
00:55:23.000So you can do the same thing with Rose as well?
00:55:24.000You can do the same thing like Joey was talking before.
00:55:27.000In your neighborhood, you walk out your front door, jog to one mailbox, walk to the next two.
00:55:31.000Jog to the mailbox, walk to the next two.
00:55:33.000Most plots are evenly sized in most neighborhoods.
00:55:35.000I got a big hill on my street that I'm scared of that I never run, but it's fucking huge.
00:56:40.000No, but paleo uses earth-grown nutrients.
00:56:43.000Earth-grown nutrients is whole foods, but when you say whole foods, people picture a supermarket chain.
00:56:48.000Whole Foods also sells conventional food, not just organic or earth-grown nutrients.
00:56:51.000Earth-grown nutrients means this came from the earth, unadulterated by man.
00:56:55.000I walked out my backyard, I pulled it out of the stream with my bare hands and pulled it out of the ground, and I didn't even plant the seeds, let's say.
00:57:04.000The closer we can get to that, the better.
00:57:06.000So what I try and do with my athletes or clients or anybody I deal with is I try and make suggestions and tips and then from my experience, try this instead of that.
00:57:15.000You're going to use a high fructose corn syrup based ketchup when you can get this one right over here.
00:57:19.000You can make your own with tomatoes and some vinegar and some salt and maybe a little bit of agave on your own stove.
00:57:25.000It tastes exactly the same or the earth grown one tastes a heck of a lot better.
00:57:29.000So that's the things that I try and do with the athletes.
00:57:56.000You know, recommend maybe the athlete does it with their wife or their family or their girl, their friends, the game's on or whatever it is.
00:59:13.000You're just going to have the sauce, which is a red sauce, tomato-based peppers and onions and garlic and herbs and spices and all those good things thrown in there, too.
00:59:39.000Would straight white pasta give you more benefit?
00:59:41.000I would lean towards the Ezekiel because it's closer to the earth-grown nutrient category.
00:59:47.000And it's higher in a variety of nutrients, where if you go just the straight durum wheat pasta, which is like a standard barilla pasta where you're getting any, you know, olive garden and whatnot, there's a high glycogen content.
01:00:00.000So if your only goal is glycogen stores...
01:00:03.000Then you can certainly get that from the pasta.
01:00:05.000But if your goal is to get glycogen plus fiber, plus essential fats, plus vitamin B or whatever the heck else is in there, then you go to the Ezekiel and you keep getting closer back to the earth because there's more vital nutrients contained in that.
01:01:28.000Isn't it the case with tomatoes as well?
01:01:29.000Like there's something that gets activated in tomatoes when you cook it that doesn't when it's raw?
01:01:34.000I'm not sure specifically on tomato, but things like spinach, most vegetables with an outer layer, you will unlock more nutrients when you actually heat that up, but not always because you still want to have them raw and fresh.
01:01:49.000Because there's a ton of other vital nutrients in there.
01:04:35.000Well, Joey, I mean, this is an uncomfortable moment here, but I got to confront you on this because what we got here is a guy who's like a nutritional expert.
01:05:57.000That's why I went in and I started doing the upright rows to fill this in a little bit because it got so fucking skinny I thought I was going to put one of those voice machines.
01:06:04.000That's what people were looking at me in auditions and meetings like I was going to put a voice machine in.
01:07:47.000But I think what you were bringing up with Joey is a real good point.
01:07:51.000A lot of people say, they're kind of dabbling in the idea of improving themselves.
01:07:57.000And the real way to do it is you've got to write down what the fuck you want and then go after it.
01:08:01.000Because otherwise you live in sort of a wishy-washy world.
01:08:03.000You know, if you decide, I'm gonna get down to, bang, I'm gonna do this.
01:08:07.000I'm gonna run a marathon in less than five hours.
01:08:10.000I'm gonna, you know, whatever the fuck it is, you gotta write that shit down and go for it.
01:08:14.000What I tell people is the best advice I've ever heard, the best advice I ever came up with, is that live your life like you're the hero in your movie.
01:08:24.000And right now is when the fucking movie starts and your life is a shitbag disaster, like every fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he wakes up and makes a blender...
01:09:07.000Wow, my mom really got her shit together.
01:09:09.000I love a success story, but even more than a success story, I like a dude who fucks his life up and then gets it back together again story.
01:09:38.000All things that are completely unrelated to you.
01:09:41.000All things that you find other people's success as a downfall in your own existence.
01:09:46.000Instead of being inspired, instead of choosing to be positive, instead of improving constantly on the direction of trying to achieve whatever the fuck you have written down, you just sit around and spiral.
01:10:25.000Tough love is what everybody needs, me included.
01:10:28.000That's the only good thing about, like, assholes on the internet.
01:10:31.000Sometimes they say things that's right.
01:10:33.000Sometimes cunts will say shitty things to you on the internet about a show you did or a thing you said or, you know, oh, the fucking joke you made on the podcast.
01:10:41.000You're an asshole for even thinking like that.
01:10:43.000And, you know, part of you is like, fuck you.
01:12:27.000I think the idea of being racially insensitive is ridiculous because what they're getting upset at you is pointing out real shit about races.
01:12:34.000Pointing out real shit that you think is funny that you see.
01:12:36.000And if they get upset at that, that's on them, man.
01:12:39.000You're attaching yourself to something you have no fucking control over and you even have pride Which is one of the most ridiculous things ever.
01:12:45.000Oh, I'm fucking pride that I'm from this part of the ground.
01:14:30.000Like she didn't want to say what they actually were saying.
01:14:34.000And it's funny because now if you go to a Little League game or something like in the Little League, you're not even allowed to say nothing negative.
01:14:43.000In today's society, the way they're bringing up these kids, if you go to a stadium now to watch a baseball game or a football game, it's a bunch of fucking people you can ranch dressing.
01:15:02.000It's not like, hey you mother, when I was a kid and I'd go to Shea Stadium, Jesus fucking Christ, the Boston games in the 70s, they'd throw you off the fucking balcony.
01:15:11.000Now we live in a society where you go to a game, people pay $300 for a ticket and they're well behaved.
01:15:16.000In Jersey they were a little fucking crazy, but that was the craziest.
01:15:19.000Somebody either had a heart attack on the side, At the fights, you mean?
01:16:43.000I grew up, I played street hockey in Jersey in one of those leagues for three weeks, and that was one time where I actually doubted my manhood at the age of 13. I did that for three weeks because it's not hockey sticks and sneakers.
01:16:56.000There's another value involved in this.
01:17:33.000It's not like hitting the fucking Hyundai now where the thing bends a little bit.
01:17:37.000We used to play street hockey with Tom McCann hockey sneakers.
01:17:40.000Tom McCann, especially black bottoms so you would stick.
01:17:44.000Dog, and they had these things where it was just you played for your neighborhood.
01:17:48.000Like for your block, like 38th Street had a team against 51st Street, and you would walk over there with your hockey sticks, no roller skates, and it was in the street.
01:17:55.000And if you were in the middle of a fucking roll and a car was coming, that motherfucker either had a weight or he was hitting you.
01:18:02.000And somebody would get hit once a fucking month.
01:18:04.000And that was like your badge of honor, like in those times, like he got hit by a car.
01:18:08.000Dog, his head went through the side of a glass and he's coming back to play on Tuesday.
01:18:12.000That was, this week in Jersey, you do not want to be in Jersey.
01:18:16.000And they're playing L.A. So this week, like Wednesday night, you ain't getting a soul out.
01:20:41.000Well, they're coming out with different jackets and clothes that is made out of a particular impact fiber that tightens up and hardens on impact.
01:20:52.000So you actually can fly through the air and land on the fucking concrete and your body is protected from the impact by this stuff hardening.
01:22:56.000The water is better because I do the other things.
01:22:58.000Yeah, the water is good, but you should boil that water because there's been a bunch of cases recently of people getting parasites in their fucking head.
01:23:08.000The fucking water sometimes is stuff that gets killed by your stomach acids and there's no problem whatsoever for that, but it's not the same if it goes up your nose.
01:23:17.000If it goes up your nose, it actually becomes, there's just people who have gotten infected.
01:23:21.000If you were a kid, you got stuck in a hot pot of water and put some Vicks on that motherfucker with a brown paper bag.
01:23:38.000Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals issued a warning about improper neti pot use, which has been linked to two deadly infections.
01:23:45.000A 51-year-old woman from DeSoto Parish and a 20-year-old man from St. Bernard Padish died after using neti pots containing tap water to flush out their sinuses.
01:23:55.000Both became infected with, sweat this, Nagleria fowlerii, a parasite known as a brain-eating amoeba.
01:25:12.000Where he did the bar, the water bar in Hollywood, and he was giving people water, like telling them this is water from Europe, the mountains.
01:25:19.000Meanwhile, the waiter was in the backyard filling the fucking bottles of water hose, and these motherfucking mutts are like, oh, it's so harmony.
01:28:42.000Do I go to the butcher, back to basics, and get my own fucking cow?
01:28:46.000Like most people are doing now in the Midwest, they're raising their own cow and going everywhere on the weekends and feeding it and chopping it up.
01:29:51.000You know, there are other options that should be considered and I think it's very unique to the individual in your moment, you know, in this space and time, maybe veganism is the right thing.
01:30:01.000I like what I call vegan modified where we go through cycles.
01:30:05.000I go like three days of vegan every three weeks or so or three months of vegan, you know, a year.
01:30:09.000You know, I play with little things like that but also other ways, you know, hardcore meats, you know, now I'm getting a little away from red meats a little bit more lately so I'm kind of dabbling in other areas, more plant-based things.
01:30:22.000When you talk to people about veganism, how do you set up to make sure that they get all the amino acids, all the nutrition, all the things just based on plants?
01:31:01.000They break their muscles down and they need protein and amino acids to rebuild that.
01:31:05.000Get it back to the baseline and then improve from there.
01:31:08.000Doing that as a vegan is very difficult, especially here in the United States, North America.
01:31:12.000It's very hard just because there aren't quality vegan products available that aren't genetically modified.
01:31:19.000I think genetically modified products do worse for you.
01:31:22.000I do believe they do worse for you because we can't determine, can't predict the outcome.
01:31:27.000We don't know what the future result is going to be.
01:31:28.000We don't know what the long-term use is.
01:31:30.000And I think there's immediate distortion in the way the body absorbs the nutrients.
01:31:34.000And by the word genetically modified, kind of explain to people, What most people don't understand is that there are certain plants that are genetically modified for various reasons.
01:32:52.000I mean, what if, you know, the idea is, like, they do this for certain drugs.
01:32:57.000Like, that's how bath salts have become legal, is what they essentially did was took something that's illegal and modified it very slightly.
01:34:00.000Are you going to take a person and modify just one little strand in that person's DNA and you made them from a zygote that someone had left behind in a fucking frozen lab when people take their embryos and they discard them?
01:34:12.000Are you sure your frozen embryos are discarded?
01:34:16.000What if someone comes along and adds a few fucking molecules to them?
01:34:36.000I mean, it's obviously a joke, but if you can patent tomatoes, if you can patent, if you can own the design to something that all you did was alter, that's crazy.
01:34:56.000You're all cunts and crooks and you've fucked up the whole world because you started a chain of events.
01:35:01.000And that chain of events, due to fucking greed, due to special interest groups, due to lobbyists, due to all those assholes that laced your fucking pockets and allowed you to allow people to do something you know is fucking evil and against nature.
01:35:29.000Because the thing about people, man, when they start making money, when they start making money with something, whether it's from bombing people or poisoning people, or once you start making money at something, it's very hard to change the law.
01:35:43.000Very hard to stop that chain of events.
01:35:45.000Because once they're in, the money's flowing.
01:37:34.000They got a loophole for all of them where they would not fucking do it.
01:37:37.000That's where the law is beautiful because we got, like you said, genetically, so I put two leaves on top of a fucking tomato and that's it.
01:37:45.000I could change the fucking tomato because my tomato has two little fucking leaves.
01:40:03.000And if you keep buying into the fucking sizzle, eventually one day, you know it doesn't take long after two elections when you're 30 and you've seen two or three elections to go, nothing has changed.
01:40:14.000By the time you're 30, you should see this.
01:43:07.000And he's sitting there at dinner and he's got the cute little girlfriend who's all done up looking like she's straight off MTV. The hair's perfect.
01:43:14.000And he's acting like he's a Jason Silva wannabe.
01:43:18.000How smart he is and how much more he knows in his 22 years on the planet than her because she's only 21 and a half.
01:43:25.000There's a lot of needy cunts out here.
01:44:14.000Well, I think reality shows have really changed the culture significantly.
01:44:17.000And most of us don't understand it or see it because, you know, we're out there in the world of stand-up comedy and the world of MMA. Two very, very real worlds.
01:44:25.000But in here, in California, the reality is you can get famous for fucking nothing.
01:44:32.000And if you do have a good concept, it's like...
01:44:34.000I saw one where there was a guy who has a bunch of pretty girls who cut hair for him.
01:45:49.000It's the craziest idea for a show ever.
01:45:51.000The Ultimate Fighter is a genius fucking program.
01:45:54.000Great TV. You know, like, the reason why Forrest and Stefan Bonner went at each other so hard, they just motherfuckers have been staring each other down for weeks.
01:46:02.000For weeks and weeks and weeks, training and staring each other down, knowing that they were going to eventually throw knuckles at each other.
01:47:06.000I bet if you wanted to do something wacky, though, like read Satan's Bible, you know, read some fucking 666. Yeah, if you wanted to get crazy, you fucking wore eyeliner when you fought and shit.
01:47:30.000I don't think they screen for EPO. What's EPO? EPO is a performance-enhancing drug that cyclists are very fond of because it increases the amount of red blood cells in your body.
01:47:49.000Yeah, that only has the caffeine of a cup of coffee.
01:47:53.000Five-hour energy is predominantly B12, one of the reasons why it works so well.
01:47:57.000That's also what's also in that shroom tech sport, a shitload of fucking B12. And you'll be like, that shroom tech sport, you take four of those bitches and then you go work out an hour later, go work out?
01:51:26.000I can't leave the house without eating.
01:51:27.000So I need some, my blood sugar goes down, I get dizzy and shit, right?
01:51:31.000So then for lunch I had a little six ounce ribeye that I cut thin, I go to the butcher, and I fry it up with garlic, with a little bit of fucking spam, and that's it.
01:52:14.000I don't know the quality per se, but I'm sure it's...
01:52:16.000We're pretty confident it's not the highest quality, and they'll eat excessive amounts of that, 12-ounce, 16-ounce constantly, two meals a day, three meals a day, they'll have bacon, pork bacon at breakfast.
01:52:27.000The calorie content at the end of the day is so much higher than some of the leaner meats, the poultry, the turkey, chicken, things like that.
01:52:34.000So red meat, certainly, if that's part of your mindset, part of your culture, and you don't have any pre-existing medical conditions, you're not barred from eating red meat for whatever reason.
01:52:48.000But in moderation, I think everything in moderation, you should certainly rotate through the lean protein sources, the animal protein sources, just like you should through the plant-based sources.
01:52:58.000I finally had on Joe's recommendation of one of these guys, the ostrich burger.
01:53:11.000I had two bites just to, like I said, I've got to prepare myself for this.
01:53:16.000I like the extra lean turkey meat manwiches.
01:53:19.000I just replace the meat with extra lean turkey and just put a little bit of half of the packet of the seasoning on it and it tastes just like manwich, but it's extra lean turkey.
01:54:10.000But the people that aren't already biased towards supplements typically don't want to take supplements and have tremendous feedback and science.
01:54:19.000Medical data, we get blood work done, they're exactly where they should be.
01:54:23.000So it really doesn't warrant supplements in most of the cases, and that's most of the guys I work with.
01:54:47.000We've got to stay on top of everything.
01:54:48.000Now, when you see shit going down like this Alistair Overeem thing where they're checking him, you know, not even post-fight, but during training, you know, when they did the random drug test on everybody and Alistair, it turned out that he had taken some medication.
01:55:02.000The story is that he had taken some medication and it inadvertently had testosterone in it and he wasn't aware he was going to get tested.
01:55:08.000How do you feel about these sort of situations?
01:55:43.000It probably comes down to dollars, or it comes down to ego, and it comes down to some sort of power struggle instead of truly trying to clean up the sport.
01:55:50.000I don't think that's the way to clean up the sport.
01:55:52.000I think that's the way to kind of, you know, Further agendas, and I don't think that agenda is helpful.
01:55:58.000Yeah, it does get weird when it becomes an ego battle.
01:56:02.000Like, I caught you and you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing.
01:56:07.000Where do you draw the line and what's legal and what's not legal?
01:57:11.000By the way, while two wars are going on.
01:57:13.000The thing that they come down on the hardest is his example that he sets for the young kids who look up to him because he's doing America's favorite pastime.
01:57:24.000And because it's America's favorite pastime, there's congressional hearings on it as opposed to cycling.
01:57:28.000There's way more evidence of widespread abuse of cyclists I don't know.
01:57:52.000Because there was some article in a magazine, it was like, the troubles behind him, Lance Armstrong looks for him.
01:57:56.000I'm like, what are you talking about, the troubles behind him?
01:59:19.000The enhancement is not just the enhancement inside when you test clean.
01:59:24.000So if you go to a fight, you test clean.
01:59:26.000It doesn't mean you've been cleaning your whole camp.
01:59:28.000It means you cleaned yourself up the last few days or whatever the fuck it is you took, as long as you're not taking oil-based things.
01:59:34.000You can take testosterone up until like...
01:59:38.000A certain amount of time before the fight and still test normal and the problem with that is that you have been able to train harder than the other guy because you have been unnaturally elevated in your testosterone levels so you've been able to do two and three workouts a day and that's what there's a bunch of guys that are saying that one of the issues with training with so many guys getting injured is that a lot of the guys who are getting injured are not using And that these are the reasons why they're getting injured is because they're keeping up with guys who are using,
02:00:06.000and they're trying to keep the same pace as guys who are using, and their body is fucking breaking down.
02:00:11.000Because the shit that they're dealing with, when you're dealing with a guy that is training three times a day, and each session is at least an hour to two hours long, and they're intense sessions.
02:00:22.000And they're doing it for six to eight weeks.
02:00:25.000There is a lot of tissue breakdown and a lot of that tissue has to be built back up.
02:00:29.000You know, that's also a problem with this performance-enhancing drug argument about testosterone replacement therapy.
02:00:36.000Because if you catch me when I've been up all night and I haven't gotten any sleep and I've been working out two to three times a day and you go in and you get your testosterone test, guess what, fuckface?
02:00:50.000So if you, and then you supplement the testosterone, well that is unnatural.
02:00:55.000And you also have to realize that some guys are coming into camp where there's not like one standard level of fitness that guys are coming into camp with.
02:01:04.000Some guys come into camp and these are like Herschel Walker type dudes that are in shape all year round, never get fat, never get out of shape, always disciplined, always training.
02:01:13.000So they have a much thicker base When they get in, their cardiovascular base is healthier, their muscle endurance base is healthier, everything is healthier.
02:01:22.000So they don't have to worry about overtraining as much.
02:01:26.000They can keep a pace that the other guy can't.
02:01:28.000But if those other guys try to keep up with that dude, that's when shit goes bad.
02:01:35.000I see the argument that you shouldn't be allowed to be on steroids while you're fighting, but you shouldn't be allowed to train on them either.
02:01:42.000If you're going to make them illegal, they've got to be illegal to train with too, because otherwise we have an unrealistic bar.
02:01:49.000I'm not saying that performance-enhancing hormonal supplements shouldn't be legal, because I think they probably should.
02:01:56.000They should just be closely monitored, and you've got to decide How do you want to regulate this?
02:02:03.000Because eventually we're going to come up with things that are better than this and it's going to go by the wayside.
02:02:08.000Science is not going to stop at testosterone replacement or hormonal replacement or bioidentic hormones.
02:02:14.000They're going to have genetic engineering.
02:02:16.000You're going to be able to literally manipulate your DNA. It's unquestionable, whether it's 100 years from now, or whether it's 50 years from now, or 20 years from now.
02:02:24.000I don't know when it's going to take place, but there's going to be something that comes along, make no mistake about it, that makes steroids obsolete.
02:02:30.000So then the argument is going to be, do we just say, fuck science?
02:02:35.000Do we say that, or do we decide that, well, you know what?
02:02:39.000If you want to compete as an athlete, you can't take the stuff that your fucking neighbor, the postman is taking, and the guy can jump over buildings.
02:02:47.000Your neighbor can fly through the air like the Hulk, but you can't take that if you want to compete in kickboxing.
02:05:23.000The Synthol thing though, look up Synthol Dance.
02:05:28.000Boy, Synthol Dance is a guy who has Synthol tits and Synthol arms and he's like dancing around and it doesn't even look remotely real, man.
02:05:35.000It bounces up and down like he's got water balloons in his arms and tits.
02:05:38.000It's really strange and he's like dancing.
02:05:41.000You know, you think of all the people that take the juice and fucking really, you know, stick to the thing, you know, the diet.
02:06:27.000I'm on the phone, I'm hot, I'm cooking!
02:06:29.000And he would fucking just pop them in the fucking ass and that's it.
02:06:32.000And I knew for a fact, I ran with, you know, I was in Jersey in the early 80s when B-12, I was going to ask you if you ever shot it, my boys were shooting that shit.
02:06:41.000And I used to drive my buddy to a house where they were guys and they would blast them with the B-12, the Deca de Roblin, you know in those days it was Deca, D-ball, Anivar, Winstroll.
02:07:41.000Well, you know, bodybuilding and just lifting to get big is so different than doing it for a skill and for a sport.
02:07:47.000What these guys are doing as MMA athletes is just trying to compete in the craziest, most shark-infested fucking ocean there is as far as sports go.
02:08:08.000I mean, what GSP... He was kind of ahead of the curve four or six years ago.
02:08:11.000Now the average kid, teenagers training like GSP used to, not that long ago.
02:08:15.000Yeah, well, then there's the Rory McDonalds, these guys who have trained in MMA since they were boys, and they don't have a base in wrestling.
02:08:26.000And when you're fully dedicated and involved, like a guy like Rory is, and you're talented, and you're 21, and you're doing all the right things, and you're disciplined, and you're focused, and you're keeping your eyes on your pride, you can...
02:08:47.000And then along the lines of Jon Jones, along the lines of Jake Ellenbergers, these new guys that are coming up that are just fucking destroyers.
02:08:57.000The 170-pound division, think about how many fucking destroyers are in that division.
02:10:04.000You know, I do the pay-per-views in the Fox, and then John Annex and Kenny Florian do the other ones, and then I think Bonner's going to do more of them, and Frank Mir, I think, is going to do Strikeforce, I've heard.
02:11:42.000He added some inflammation and some problems, and a doctor gave him some anti-inflammatories mixed with testosterone, which you know, as well as anybody, will help you heal, but you're not supposed to be doing that, right?
02:11:52.000I mean, that's the idea, but you're not supposed to be taking that ever if you're a professional fighter, right?
02:12:51.000Six months is even still a little risky.
02:12:54.000This guy just said, but this will help you put your muscle back and get you to the point where everything is strong and it'll heal your knee quicker.
02:14:36.000They use the more is better philosophy.
02:14:38.000Now, as far as diet goes, now if you see a high glycemic index diet, if you ate a lot of really sugary things, doesn't that cause your insulin to spike and it causes you to fatigue quicker?
02:16:04.000Or should I have something instead of bananas?
02:16:06.000No, banana is good, but you actually eat the banana, so it takes a little longer to break down where you can blend it, get in your system immediately.
02:16:12.000So should I pour a little sugar in with my workout drink?
02:18:29.000You know, that is one of the reasons why music is so much different than comedy.
02:18:34.000Because in comedy, if a guy can pull off a jam, if a guy can pull off a hit, if a guy gets on stage and he's got a bit that knocks your fucking socks off, that guy can keep coming up with bits like that.
02:19:22.000You know, well, I just learned this about Sledgeline and then you sit down and you're at a computer and you make yourself laugh and giggle and then you write down anything that comes in your head throughout the day and then our practice is in front of an audience.
02:19:33.000So our practice is, which by the way, tomorrow night, laugh fact, where am I? Ice House.
02:27:33.000Joey, the reason why I confronted you and the reason why I talked about it earlier and when I keep getting on to the point of you having a goal is because I know you've done it before.
02:27:42.000I was really proud of you when you quit smoking and I was really proud of you when you lost all that weight.
02:27:47.000Pretty impressive for a guy who, in my life, you've been a real impulsive, sort of wild dude.
02:29:25.000So when you use the calorie concept, the calorie concept is wrong because a donut has 100 calories in it and a chicken breast has 100 calories in it.
02:29:55.000Factors of environment and then your relationships, things like that.
02:29:59.000But your cells, so nutrient quality, you're talking about points.
02:30:02.000Points mean nothing because it's just a calorie structure which is wrong.
02:30:05.000You burn calories, you know, moving around throughout the day, your calorie expenditure changes dramatically.
02:30:11.000You know, you're sitting in traffic, use that example, you're sitting in traffic for two hours, bumper to bumper, you're stuck, or you cruise home.
02:32:59.000Ten years ago, if I went to a restaurant, I thought that was healthy.
02:33:02.000Mike, before the book, you don't know how nice it is in the morning to make one egg and know you're not eating home fries and a bunch of disgusting butter from a fucking diner.
02:33:09.000I grew up in Jersey eating the fucking diners, brother.
02:33:22.000But every time I go to Jersey, I say to myself, I'm going to get a cheeseburger deluxe, and I don't.
02:33:29.000So when I'm in Jersey with Johnny Hendricks on this last Fox card, I'm home.
02:33:34.000Every single day, I had Jersey fries, disco fries, which is French fries, brown gravy, melted mozzarella, baked in the oven every day, and pork roll and cheese.
02:34:14.000I'm going to do more things so I can have the investment in myself where I can go out there and do a little bit more and feel good and have that emotional purge also.
02:34:23.000You know how we can put you on the map, Mike Dolce?
02:37:14.000Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood, and hemp protein powder is coming soon, and you're going to love it.
02:37:23.000It's the best tasting shit of all time.
02:37:25.000We'll see you tomorrow with the great Bobcat Goldweight.