The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2227 - Adrienne Iapalucci

00:00:18.000 I feel like they're gonna sue me.

00:00:23.000 For the shirt?

00:00:24.000 I don't know.

00:00:24.000 Do you sell it?

00:00:25.000 I'm trying to.

00:00:26.000 I don't think they want to sue anybody.

00:00:28.000 I think they want to keep it on the DL, especially you, because you could just go on podcasts and talk about it.

00:00:32.000 Not if I'm dead.

00:00:34.000 I could talk about it until I'm dead.

00:00:37.000 Let's see.

00:00:38.000 If they haven't killed Malice, there's so many people that they haven't killed. 1.00

00:00:44.000 I'd be a fun kill, though. 0.98

00:00:45.000 They'd just come to the Bronx. 1.00

00:00:47.000 It's so easy to just kill me. 1.00

00:00:50.000 Right. 1.00

00:00:50.000 Anybody gets killed in the Bronx. 1.00

00:00:51.000 It happens all the time.

00:00:53.000 Nobody cares.

00:00:54.000 Yeah, probably.

00:00:56.000 They don't care.

00:00:56.000 A few people would be upset.

00:00:58.000 And then it would go away.

00:00:59.000 My mom.

00:00:59.000 Like Epstein.

00:01:01.000 Yes.

00:01:01.000 That kind of went away.

00:01:02.000 It did go away.

00:01:03.000 The guy who tried to kill Trump kind of went away.

00:01:06.000 It did.

00:01:06.000 Well, didn't that guy get shot, though?

00:01:08.000 Yeah, he's dead.

00:01:08.000 Yeah.

00:01:09.000 But now he's gone.

00:01:10.000 Poof, gone.

00:01:11.000 No one talks about it. 0.97

00:01:11.000 Do you think P. Diddy is in prison waiting for the Clintons to just kill him? 0.97

00:01:16.000 Do you think... 0.95

00:01:17.000 Every day I'd be looking for them.

00:01:19.000 I don't think the Clintons were involved with P. Diddy, do you?

00:01:21.000 No, but Epstein.

00:01:24.000 Was Epstein involved with P. Diddy?

00:01:26.000 No, I just feel like these pedophile rings have to cross points, you know, at some point.

00:01:31.000 The P. Diddy thing sounds like just complete unchecked depravity. 0.85

00:01:37.000 Like, I don't even think he was gay. 1.00

00:01:38.000 He was just fucking guys. 1.00

00:01:41.000 Maybe he's gay, but it seems like he's just depraved. 1.00

00:01:43.000 I think you have to be a little gay. 1.00

00:01:45.000 Because then he would just be fucking women. 1.00

00:01:46.000 Oh yeah, for sure. 1.00

00:01:47.000 At least for like 10 minutes.

00:01:48.000 He's at least bi.

00:01:51.000 I mean, it might just be whatever drugs are taken.

00:01:55.000 Like, I don't understand it.

00:01:58.000 I think I had peripherally heard that P. Diddy had big parties, but I never heard of freak-offs or any...

00:02:07.000 I never heard of that stuff until pretty recently.

00:02:11.000 Like, post-pandemic, I think.

00:02:14.000 Jamie, when did you first hear about P. Diddy parties?

00:02:19.000 I mean, I would think that he...

00:02:20.000 I've heard about him having big parties.

00:02:21.000 Your mic has to be off because of Carl's breathing.

00:02:24.000 I'm breathing pretty heavy still right now.

00:02:25.000 I'm trying to keep it down.

00:02:26.000 Oh my god, he's so cute.

00:02:27.000 He's adorable.

00:02:28.000 Carl and Marshall, they go at it every time he comes here.

00:02:32.000 First time I heard...

00:02:32.000 I don't know.

00:02:33.000 I've heard of...

00:02:33.000 I don't even know what rumors I would have heard.

00:02:35.000 I just heard, like, you know...

00:02:36.000 But it was not...

00:02:37.000 He's got crazy parties.

00:02:38.000 I don't...

00:02:38.000 He had nothing.

00:02:39.000 Yeah.

00:02:39.000 It was never, like, in the zeitgeist.

00:02:42.000 It was never...

00:02:42.000 It's just weird, too, because he always had the white parties where you have to wear all white, and I just feel like that's the worst color for body fluid.

00:02:49.000 Yeah, right? 0.99

00:02:51.000 Maybe that's how he kept track of who he fucked. 0.99

00:02:54.000 That person's already covered in disgusting stuff. 0.99

00:03:01.000 That's how he kept track of it.

00:03:03.000 There's so many horrific accusations involving young singers, young children. 0.93

00:03:09.000 Yeah, it's disgusting. 0.90

00:03:11.000 It's insane. 0.97

00:03:12.000 He makes R. Kelly look like a decent guy.

00:03:15.000 Yeah.

00:03:16.000 It's so crazy.

00:03:17.000 It is crazy.

00:03:18.000 And meanwhile, the guy was like hanging out with Oprah, hanging out with Obama.

00:03:24.000 Jay-Z. Everybody.

00:03:26.000 Everybody.

00:03:26.000 I'm sure the Clintons were there at some point.

00:03:29.000 Maybe Bill.

00:03:30.000 Bill is so nice.

00:03:31.000 I went one time.

00:03:33.000 Was he?

00:03:33.000 He's so nice.

00:03:34.000 So charming.

00:03:36.000 He is, and he's actually still kind of good looking.

00:03:38.000 Like, even for an older dude.

00:03:40.000 Yeah, why not? 0.98

00:03:41.000 He's still so good looking, and she's just so miserable. 0.95

00:03:44.000 Yeah. 0.94

00:03:44.000 Well, she's publicly humiliated and she thought that her big retribution would become president. 0.94

00:03:52.000 You know, become president.

00:03:53.000 Sure.

00:03:54.000 And then that would be it.

00:03:55.000 All water under the bridge.

00:03:56.000 I'm a strong woman.

00:03:57.000 I'm running this country.

00:03:58.000 And then America was like, nah.

00:04:01.000 I mean, it doesn't matter what color you are.

00:04:02.000 America does not want a woman in charge. 1.00

00:04:04.000 Well, that's not exactly true because she won the popular vote. 1.00

00:04:07.000 I mean, not Kamala, though.

00:04:09.000 No, but Kamala was a terrible candidate. 1.00

00:04:12.000 The difference between her and Hillary, it's night and day.

00:04:15.000 Well, Hillary had a lot of experience, too. 1.00

00:04:17.000 She's been doing this for a long time.

00:04:18.000 Sure.

00:04:19.000 She was Secretary of State, and on top of that, she could answer questions.

00:04:24.000 Sure.

00:04:24.000 Like, you could have a question on...

00:04:26.000 With her about, like, what would we do differently if you were president about the Israel-Gaza conflict?

00:04:32.000 Sure.

00:04:33.000 She would have something off the top of her head. 0.97

00:04:35.000 What would you do differently than Joe Biden?

00:04:37.000 She wouldn't say, I can't think of a thing.

00:04:39.000 She would never say that.

00:04:40.000 No.

00:04:41.000 Kamala Harris is just not good. 0.99

00:04:43.000 She's definitely not good at interviewing either. 1.00

00:04:45.000 No, I mean, I don't know if she's good at running things, because you'd have to be behind the scenes to see how that works. 1.00

00:04:51.000 But when it comes to, like, talking off the top of her head, what she's good at is a pre-rehearsed speech that she reads off a teleprompter.

00:05:01.000 Sure, but if someone asks you a rogue question, then you have to be ready to answer it.

00:05:05.000 Yeah.

00:05:06.000 Rogue questions.

00:05:07.000 You have to be able to say what differentiates you from Biden.

00:05:13.000 You have to.

00:05:13.000 That's pretty simple.

00:05:15.000 You're just like, well, I'm still alive.

00:05:17.000 Yeah, that too.

00:05:18.000 That would be funny if she said that.

00:05:19.000 Right.

00:05:20.000 That's what she should do.

00:05:20.000 If she could be funny, people would love a funny person.

00:05:23.000 I could answer questions.

00:05:24.000 I could look you in the eye.

00:05:25.000 Yeah.

00:05:25.000 I remember what I'm talking about.

00:05:27.000 I was surprised she didn't come on the podcast a little bit.

00:05:31.000 It seems like, and this is all reports, these are all anecdotal reports, right?

00:05:36.000 But it seems like her campaign was kind of chaotic.

00:05:39.000 Like, no one could make a decision.

00:05:42.000 They had, I don't know how many conversations with my folks.

00:05:46.000 Right.

00:05:47.000 But multiple conversations.

00:05:49.000 Giving different dates, different times, different this, different that.

00:05:52.000 And we knew that she was going to be in Texas.

00:05:54.000 So I said, open invitation.

00:05:56.000 Right.

00:05:56.000 You said you can come whenever you want.

00:05:58.000 Anytime.

00:05:59.000 You pick a time, I will be here.

00:06:01.000 And you would have been the best person for her to talk to because you're not going to attack her.

00:06:04.000 You would just ask her questions, but that's the problem.

00:06:06.000 I don't know if she'd be able to answer those questions.

00:06:08.000 I'll ask her questions, but I think they had requirements on things that she didn't want to talk about.

00:06:12.000 She didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization, so I thought it was hilarious.

00:06:15.000 Why?

00:06:16.000 Because of her prosecuting record.

00:06:19.000 Well, I mean, that was her old job, though.

00:06:22.000 Yeah, and she put a lot of people in jail for weed. 1.00

00:06:26.000 1,500, apparently.

00:06:27.000 That's not really that many, though.

00:06:29.000 1,500.

00:06:30.000 Tell those guys.

00:06:31.000 Are they still in prison?

00:06:34.000 No.

00:06:34.000 Then they're fine now.

00:06:36.000 Prison really builds character.

00:06:39.000 You go in there, you really figure out what kind of person you are.

00:06:43.000 I bet it does.

00:06:45.000 Yeah, but when you are held past your release date to fight wildfires for the state, because Kamala Harris wants you to do that.

00:06:53.000 Sure.

00:06:53.000 With a swipe of my pen.

00:06:55.000 Right.

00:06:55.000 I mean, it's not like the worst idea to just clean up the wildfires.

00:07:01.000 Well, you should probably pay people for all work.

00:07:03.000 Sure.

00:07:04.000 You know, even prisoners.

00:07:05.000 That's just free.

00:07:08.000 I got a problem with all that.

00:07:09.000 I mean, I have a problem with slave labor in prison because it's essentially mandated.

00:07:14.000 Right.

00:07:14.000 You have to have a job in some prisons.

00:07:17.000 But I mean, what else are you going to do in prison?

00:07:19.000 Read books, do push-ups.

00:07:20.000 Okay, but at some point, I'm going to want to do hair.

00:07:24.000 I'm going to want to cook at some point.

00:07:25.000 Like, you just do need a routine, otherwise the time never...

00:07:27.000 How many books can you read every single day?

00:07:30.000 That's true.

00:07:31.000 That's true.

00:07:31.000 Yeah.

00:07:32.000 How many yoga classes can you take?

00:07:33.000 You just need a schedule kind of just to like, I don't know, that just helps your day go by.

00:07:37.000 Like even if you hated it, you still need, like when I was on unemployment for a period, I'm like, I'm actually very bored.

00:07:43.000 You know what I mean?

00:07:44.000 Like you like it for a couple of days, but you need that routine to kind of like, I don't know, if I was in prison, I'd want a job.

00:07:49.000 This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog.

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00:07:53.000 They're loyal.

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00:07:55.000 Just having Marshall around can make my day 10 times better.

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00:09:47.000 This is my fear when it comes to automation, AI, and then ultimately I think everyone's going to have to have universal basic income.

00:09:56.000 I think all countries are going to have to have it.

00:09:58.000 I think the United States is going to have to have it too.

00:10:01.000 And people need a purpose.

00:10:04.000 They need a thing.

00:10:05.000 They need an identity.

00:10:06.000 And a lot of people identify with whatever their job is.

00:10:09.000 They find – they take pride in it.

00:10:11.000 It means something to them to show up at work and have people say they do a great job and you're very valuable to the company and the customers like you and all that stuff is really good for people.

00:10:21.000 It's good for self-esteem.

00:10:23.000 It's good for giving you a purpose.

00:10:24.000 If universal basic income is a thing, which I think it's going to have to be a thing, it's going to be real weird psychologically for people to adjust to that.

00:10:33.000 I think there'd probably be a lot of riots.

00:10:35.000 Like, I don't know, what else would you do?

00:10:38.000 Just riot with government money?

00:10:40.000 Yeah, I was thinking Trump might not win, and there was going to be a bunch of riots, and I would be able to just get, like, a free computer.

00:10:46.000 Like, I was kind of hoping for that.

00:10:47.000 Well, you know, you could buy a computer, Adrian.

00:10:49.000 You're a successful comedian.

00:10:50.000 No, I want it for free.

00:10:51.000 Listen, a free computer is better than a computer you have to pay for.

00:10:54.000 Is it?

00:10:55.000 Yeah.

00:10:55.000 Wouldn't you feel guilty at all?

00:10:57.000 No, if they're rioting, everything's for free.

00:11:00.000 That's the rule.

00:11:02.000 That was the rule during George Floyd.

00:11:03.000 But that's what I'm saying.

00:11:04.000 During Black Lives Matter, I lived by a CVS that was getting broken into all the time.

00:11:07.000 I have shampoo and conditioner for years.

00:11:09.000 Did you go in there?

00:11:10.000 Yeah, why not?

00:11:11.000 I was in there when it was happening.

00:11:12.000 You're going to get arrested.

00:11:14.000 How?

00:11:14.000 Don't say that.

00:11:15.000 No.

00:11:16.000 These are all jokes, right?

00:11:18.000 Wink.

00:11:18.000 They're all jokes.

00:11:19.000 Listen, I was just supporting Black Lives Matter, and that's how you do it.

00:11:22.000 That's how you do it.

00:11:22.000 You get shampoo for free.

00:11:23.000 Shampoo and conditioner.

00:11:24.000 Yeah.

00:11:25.000 The most racist thing I ever saw was a CVS that had everything locked up except sunscreen.

00:11:30.000 I mean, that's pretty much how it is in every CVS. And white people don't buy sunscreen because we want to be dark.

00:11:38.000 So no one's stealing it or buying it.

00:11:41.000 Yeah, good call.

00:11:44.000 Well, they do if they're worried about cancer.

00:11:46.000 If you're one of those people, it puts it everywhere, all over your face.

00:11:49.000 Meanwhile, you're putting toxic chemicals all over your face.

00:11:52.000 People do that and they're like smoking cigarettes.

00:11:54.000 It's like, what are you doing?

00:11:55.000 Just get cancer.

00:11:56.000 Well, I was reading this thing where they were talking about that, see if you can find this So what this person was saying was that people who spend less time in the sun are more likely to get deadly skin cancer.

00:12:13.000 Is it because your body's not used to it?

00:12:15.000 Yeah, you get cooked.

00:12:17.000 You know, your body doesn't have any melanin. 0.98

00:12:19.000 So you go out there and you get like fucking burnt to death and your body develops cancers.

00:12:24.000 But also, you don't have vitamin D. So vitamin D is like a critical hormone and it protects you from a lot of things. 0.97

00:12:31.000 It's crucial for your immune system.

00:12:34.000 It's crucial for a lot of different functions.

00:12:36.000 It's also interesting because one time we were at the cellar and Louie kept telling me that I needed vitamin D because I'm so white.

00:12:42.000 And I was just like, is that a real thing? 0.99

00:12:45.000 It just sounds like dick. 0.99

00:12:49.000 I was like, what? 0.99

00:12:49.000 Yeah, you need vitamin D. I was like, is that like a real thing? 0.99

00:12:52.000 Yeah, you're so white, you need some vitamin D. So you need to get fucked by somebody that's going to help you. 1.00

00:12:58.000 That's the only thing that's going to help you. 1.00

00:12:59.000 That's the only thing that's going to keep me alive.

00:13:01.000 Imagine if that was true. 1.00

00:13:02.000 Imagine if like the only way you can maintain health is to get fucked. 1.00

00:13:07.000 I mean, it makes sense. 0.99

00:13:08.000 People that are homeless are just like figuring themselves all the time.

00:13:11.000 There must be something to it. 1.00

00:13:12.000 I think they're mentally ill. 0.98

00:13:13.000 Sure, but they also are like, I want to stay alive. 0.99

00:13:16.000 I want to prolong this homelessness.

00:13:20.000 Keep me alive as long as we can.

00:13:22.000 There's a book I read, Fingering Yourself for Health.

00:13:24.000 I mean, all of the homeless people on 6th Street are just fingering themselves constantly.

00:13:28.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that kind of activity.

00:13:30.000 Yeah.

00:13:31.000 I think they just give up on shame, on everything.

00:13:34.000 I think you're out of your mind.

00:13:36.000 You have to be out of your mind. 0.66

00:13:37.000 You're like, who cares?

00:13:38.000 There's this poor lady on 6th Street. 1.00

00:13:40.000 There's a gas station that I only go to if everything's gone totally wrong, and I need gas for sure.

00:13:46.000 You just run out of it.

00:13:47.000 But you're like, there, you get out of your car, you're ready to fight people.

00:13:50.000 It's a sketchy gas station.

00:13:52.000 Oh, I guess.

00:13:52.000 And there's this poor lady who, her head, instead of being like here, her head is like, it's like it's broken.

00:14:01.000 Her neck is broken.

00:14:02.000 Okay.

00:14:03.000 And so her head is like down here.

00:14:04.000 And she has to look at you like this.

00:14:07.000 She can't lift her chin off of her sternum.

00:14:10.000 Like, literally down like this. 0.98

00:14:12.000 And she's just a bag of bones. 1.00

00:14:14.000 Just barely alive.

00:14:16.000 Like, okay, obviously we're not going to help homeless people.

00:14:19.000 Like, there's no money in helping poor people.

00:14:21.000 Like, let's give them all fentanyl.

00:14:23.000 Clean up the streets.

00:14:24.000 Do the kindest thing we can for them.

00:14:26.000 Odeem?

00:14:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:28.000 If I'm on the street for longer than a week, please kill me. 0.99

00:14:30.000 It's not going well. 0.99

00:14:31.000 These people have recovered. 0.90

00:14:33.000 These people have gotten their shit together. 0.93

00:14:34.000 How many? 0.93

00:14:35.000 I don't know.

00:14:36.000 How many CEOs were like, I was on the street for years, and then I got some vitamin D. Well, how many CEOs enjoy life?

00:14:44.000 That's the real question.

00:14:46.000 Just because something's difficult to do doesn't mean it's good to do, right?

00:14:51.000 Sure.

00:14:52.000 Like, some people think that becoming extremely wealthy and running a major corporation Because it's difficult to do, that's something you should aspire to.

00:15:01.000 But those guys all die young.

00:15:03.000 They all have heart attacks and strokes.

00:15:05.000 Yeah, it's a very high-stress position. 0.98

00:15:06.000 Insanely high-stress, and the hours are insane, and you're probably fucking miserable, other than the time you're doing coke and banging strippers. 0.98

00:15:14.000 Right. 0.98

00:15:14.000 I think I would like the rich part, and then I would just do something with, like, animals. 0.98

00:15:19.000 Oh, there you go.

00:15:20.000 Yeah, I love animals.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, I know you do.

00:15:21.000 People forget.

00:15:22.000 I can tell.

00:15:22.000 But, like...

00:15:23.000 Well, I brought Marshall just for you.

00:15:24.000 I mean, Marshall is so beautiful.

00:15:26.000 Like, if I ever go bald, I told you I want, like, a wig.

00:15:29.000 I don't know how white women are now just wearing Golden Retriever's wigs because it's beautiful. 1.00

00:15:33.000 His hair.

00:15:34.000 But it would stink when it gets wet. 0.96

00:15:36.000 I mean, everyone thinks white people smell anyway. 1.00

00:15:38.000 Who gives a shit? 1.00

00:15:40.000 You remember the first time you heard that black people thought white people smell like dogs? 1.00

00:15:44.000 I did not. 0.97

00:15:44.000 You're like, we love dogs. 0.97

00:15:45.000 I have never heard that.

00:15:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:47.000 Really?

00:15:47.000 They always think we smell like dogs.

00:15:49.000 It's like, try hurting my feelings.

00:15:51.000 Well...

00:15:52.000 I guess if you're around dogs, I think human beings smell if they don't wash.

00:15:58.000 That's all it is.

00:15:59.000 Like, I don't think there's a difference in the smell of black people and white people.

00:16:02.000 And this is coming from someone who does jujitsu.

00:16:05.000 Sure, maybe not.

00:16:05.000 So I smell people like that close when their chest pressed up against my face.

00:16:10.000 I've never noticed a difference in human odor. 0.99

00:16:13.000 All I know is black people think white people smell like dogs. 0.99

00:16:16.000 Wet dogs when they get wet. 1.00

00:16:17.000 Maybe that's just like a fun thing to say. 0.94

00:16:19.000 I think it's more than one black person saying it.

00:16:21.000 For real?

00:16:22.000 Yeah.

00:16:22.000 Jamie, you ever heard that?

00:16:23.000 No.

00:16:24.000 Jamie never heard it.

00:16:25.000 Well, I hang out with a lot of black people.

00:16:26.000 Maybe they always say that to you.

00:16:27.000 Yeah.

00:16:27.000 Weird.

00:16:28.000 I'm like, that doesn't hurt my feelings.

00:16:29.000 I love dogs.

00:16:30.000 Yeah, dogs are great.

00:16:31.000 They're amazing.

00:16:32.000 If you're going to smell like an animal, I mean, that's not the worst one to smell like.

00:16:35.000 Cats are kind of crazy because they never smell.

00:16:38.000 And they don't even take showers.

00:16:39.000 They just clean themselves.

00:16:40.000 No, but if you get one of those hairless ones, you have to clean their nails and their skin and stuff. 0.99

00:16:45.000 The hairless ones are fucking weird. 0.97

00:16:47.000 They are, but I like that. 1.00

00:16:48.000 Do white people really smell like wet dogs to black people? 1.00

00:16:51.000 The smell comes from hair follicles when they get wet. 0.99

00:16:54.000 Hair follicles secrete an oil that spreads somewhat when wet and a small amount of water gets in.

00:17:01.000 Okay.

00:17:03.000 Interesting.

00:17:04.000 Yeah.

00:17:05.000 And that's from Cora.

00:17:07.000 It's hilarious.

00:17:08.000 That sounds like a white person.

00:17:09.000 But that's hilarious.

00:17:10.000 Go back up to that.

00:17:12.000 Cora is one of those answer websites, right? 0.91

00:17:16.000 Oh, I thought Cora like a black lady. 1.00

00:17:19.000 Look at all the Reddit posts.

00:17:21.000 I understand the Reddit posts, but here's my point.

00:17:24.000 Cora is like one of those, like, you can ask it, like, how do you make a nuclear bomb? 0.99

00:17:29.000 Sure.

00:17:29.000 Like that kind of stuff.

00:17:30.000 And imagine if it said, do black people really smell like dogs? 1.00

00:17:35.000 What do black people smell like when they're wet? 1.00

00:17:37.000 I don't think they smell any different than anybody. 0.98

00:17:39.000 But the point is, you could never have that question on a question webpage.

00:17:44.000 You can't?

00:17:44.000 They'll take it off?

00:17:45.000 No fucking chance. 1.00

00:17:46.000 But you could have it about white people. 1.00

00:17:48.000 Could you ask what Indian people smell like? 1.00

00:17:51.000 I don't think you should. 0.83

00:17:54.000 But nobody cares about Indian people at all. 0.95

00:17:57.000 Indian people do.

00:17:58.000 Yeah, but you ever see what they're doing in India?

00:18:00.000 Vivek Ramaswamy becomes president, you're going to have a real issue with this.

00:18:03.000 I don't even know who that is.

00:18:04.000 Really?

00:18:05.000 Yeah.

00:18:05.000 You don't know who Vivek is?

00:18:06.000 I try not to pay attention to what's going on.

00:18:08.000 Good for you.

00:18:09.000 I really don't know anything.

00:18:10.000 Good for you.

00:18:11.000 That's so healthy.

00:18:12.000 I know very little.

00:18:14.000 If you can exist like that, it's a good way to be.

00:18:17.000 There's plenty of people in this world that are paying attention.

00:18:20.000 I know.

00:18:21.000 I'm not one of them, though.

00:18:23.000 I don't have a problem with that.

00:18:24.000 That's Ari Shavir, too. 0.99

00:18:25.000 He doesn't know what the fuck's going on. 0.99

00:18:26.000 Yeah, that's why we're good buddies. 0.99

00:18:27.000 Yeah, he has no idea what's happening.

00:18:30.000 He's, I mean...

00:18:31.000 You talk to him about laws being passed, he's like, what?

00:18:34.000 That's not real.

00:18:35.000 Yeah, Ari's the best. 1.00

00:18:37.000 But he's also so autistic, which is why him even producing my special was so good because he's so focused and he knows exactly what to do.

00:18:46.000 Very focused.

00:18:47.000 Love stand-up as an art form.

00:18:49.000 Love stand-up.

00:18:50.000 He's the best at not killing seats for the show.

00:18:53.000 He is the best person for that.

00:18:55.000 Oh, yeah.

00:18:56.000 He knows how important that is. 0.62

00:18:58.000 His special that he did, the Jew special, was so ridiculous because they had to keep those candles lit and so they had to constantly light them. 1.00

00:19:07.000 I was there for it. 0.78

00:19:08.000 I opened for it.

00:19:08.000 It was so hot and he taped it in June.

00:19:11.000 It was so hot.

00:19:13.000 I was on stage.

00:19:14.000 I did like 15 minutes.

00:19:15.000 I'm like, oh, it's really hot in here.

00:19:17.000 Boy, there's a fire behind you.

00:19:18.000 I know.

00:19:19.000 You think about all those candles?

00:19:20.000 How much fire is that?

00:19:22.000 That's a lot of fire.

00:19:23.000 It's crazy. 0.99

00:19:24.000 Did they have fire extinguishers standing by in case some shit went sideways? 0.99

00:19:29.000 Probably. 0.98

00:19:29.000 I'm sure there was some like... 0.98

00:19:30.000 There might have been a fire marshal they had to hire just to make sure.

00:19:33.000 Probably.

00:19:34.000 But even if the whole place goes on fire, what's he going to do?

00:19:36.000 He's going to be like, well, there's a fire.

00:19:38.000 What's he going to do?

00:19:39.000 He's going to run away.

00:19:40.000 Right.

00:19:40.000 So what is he going to do?

00:19:41.000 I mean, you would need so many fire extinguishers.

00:19:45.000 No.

00:19:45.000 They're little tiny fires.

00:19:47.000 They're a bunch of little itty-bitty fires.

00:19:49.000 There's not like one major all-consuming fire like that.

00:19:52.000 What if it gets a hold of like the curtain?

00:19:55.000 Yeah.

00:19:55.000 Eh.

00:19:56.000 If you have fire extinguishers, how far back was the curtain from that?

00:19:59.000 Was there a curtain at all?

00:20:00.000 I'm pretty sure there's a curtain.

00:20:01.000 I'm pretty sure there's a curtain, yeah.

00:20:03.000 I mean, it looks beautiful, though.

00:20:05.000 Yeah, it's not as easy to light things on fire as you think. 0.99

00:20:08.000 And if fire marshals are standing by with a fire extinguisher, they put that shit out real quick. 0.98

00:20:11.000 And that would actually be kind of funny. 0.99

00:20:13.000 Yeah.

00:20:13.000 They'd probably keep that on the show.

00:20:14.000 That'd be fun if there was a fire. 1.00

00:20:16.000 What a stupid idea to get a bunch of fucking candles on stage. 1.00

00:20:19.000 That'd be amazing. 1.00

00:20:21.000 Well, he was running that special forever, for a long time.

00:20:26.000 And then, you know, the whole Kobe thing happened and he stopped and then he came back.

00:20:31.000 What's crazy, I was with him in, I guess it was Charlotte when the whole Colby thing happened.

00:20:36.000 And he was sick.

00:20:37.000 I was like, oh, we were on the road.

00:20:38.000 I was like, just go to sleep.

00:20:39.000 And then I wake up and I'm like, what did you do?

00:20:44.000 I was like, you're sick.

00:20:45.000 You're supposed to go to sleep.

00:20:46.000 And then I was like, oh, Ari. 1.00

00:20:48.000 And then the funniest part is people are like, we're going to kick your ass if you're ever in North Carolina. 0.99

00:20:52.000 And he's like, I'm there. 1.00

00:20:53.000 And they're like, all right, well, if you come to where I'm at, we're going to kick your ass. 1.00

00:20:58.000 Oh. 0.99

00:20:58.000 Well, he was really into making fun of people when they died because everybody was really kind to people when they die. 0.99

00:21:04.000 And he was always like, fuck them. 0.99

00:21:07.000 Some of them were really funny. 1.00

00:21:09.000 The Kobe one was not.

00:21:10.000 But some of them were really funny.

00:21:12.000 Sure.

00:21:13.000 I also don't think he knew.

00:21:14.000 He didn't know the daughter was there.

00:21:16.000 He was just doing it about Kobe.

00:21:20.000 Jamie, your microphone is rubbing.

00:21:25.000 Oh.

00:21:25.000 Yeah, but just...

00:21:27.000 He doesn't do that anymore, thank God.

00:21:29.000 What's funny is the Uber came to pick us up the next day, and it's just like a black dude picking us up, and he's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. 0.93

00:21:36.000 He takes us to a transient bus station.

00:21:39.000 The Uber guy?

00:21:39.000 Yes.

00:21:40.000 Oh, God.

00:21:41.000 And I'm like, does this guy know?

00:21:43.000 It's a setup.

00:21:43.000 I'm like, are we gonna get murdered?

00:21:45.000 The guy leaves for like 20, 30 minutes to take a shit. 1.00

00:21:47.000 No way. 0.99

00:21:48.000 Yeah, before we're going to the airport.

00:21:50.000 No way.

00:21:51.000 He did, and I was like, this is crazy.

00:21:53.000 I would've ordered a second Uber to pick me up where the first Uber was.

00:21:56.000 No, we were ready to get murdered.

00:21:58.000 You're ready. 0.81

00:21:58.000 We're just sitting there. 0.81

00:21:59.000 The time is now.

00:22:01.000 This is my fate.

00:22:02.000 This is my fate.

00:22:03.000 We're dying right now. 0.99

00:22:03.000 Why don't you die because Ari Shafir decides? 0.99

00:22:06.000 First of all, for the longest time, Ari realized that he could not have a phone because he would be addicted to social media and it was terrible for his mental health. 0.99

00:22:15.000 And that's what happened.

00:22:16.000 And so he had a flip phone forever.

00:22:18.000 Oh, I know.

00:22:19.000 And I was like, good for you.

00:22:20.000 Like, Dave Attell still has a flip phone.

00:22:22.000 He does.

00:22:22.000 And it's brilliant.

00:22:24.000 Like, the people that do it, Sebastian Younger, he came in here, he still has a flip phone.

00:22:28.000 There's people that rock a flip phone.

00:22:30.000 If he would have not had that flip phone, he wouldn't have done the Kobe stuff.

00:22:33.000 Oh, 100%.

00:22:34.000 But I think things like that ultimately are good.

00:22:38.000 Yeah, he doesn't regret it.

00:22:40.000 Have you talked to him?

00:22:41.000 He shouldn't have done it, right?

00:22:42.000 But now he knows he shouldn't have done it, and that's just another layer of experience in life and just overcoming this horrific cancellation.

00:22:51.000 Should he not have done it, though?

00:22:54.000 In hindsight?

00:22:55.000 Yeah, I think it's probably not a good thing to do.

00:22:59.000 To mock a guy and his daughter who died in a helicopter crash.

00:23:01.000 But he didn't mock the daughter.

00:23:02.000 He just mocked him.

00:23:04.000 True.

00:23:04.000 Yeah.

00:23:06.000 So, I asked Molly, do you regret doing it?

00:23:08.000 He's like, no.

00:23:09.000 Of course he said that.

00:23:10.000 And nobody really, like people were upset.

00:23:12.000 That's the whole thing with cancellations.

00:23:13.000 People are upset for like two, three days and then they forget.

00:23:15.000 Well, especially in this new cycle.

00:23:17.000 This new cycle is so crazy.

00:23:20.000 It's just, no matter what happens, there's always something right around the corner that just covers it up.

00:23:24.000 Just a new thing to get upset about.

00:23:26.000 Yeah, just another wave comes in and you no longer, it fades.

00:23:30.000 Whatever it is.

00:23:31.000 Bridges sent me that thing about the FEMA person who got fired because if you had a Trump thing on your...

00:23:38.000 Can you imagine that?

00:23:39.000 I know, but it's like if you have any signs, that means your house didn't get hit hard by a hurricane.

00:23:45.000 No.

00:23:46.000 Come on.

00:23:47.000 No, because you could have a Biden sign.

00:23:49.000 Look, it doesn't matter.

00:23:50.000 Right.

00:23:50.000 Any sign.

00:23:51.000 But that's what I'm saying.

00:23:51.000 Depends on how the sign was secured.

00:23:53.000 Depends entirely on how the sign was secured.

00:23:54.000 If your roof came off, you think that sign's going to be there?

00:23:56.000 Bottom line is that's not what she was saying.

00:23:59.000 What she was saying is avoid all houses that have a Trump sign.

00:24:03.000 You cannot do that.

00:24:04.000 Oh, I know.

00:24:05.000 But I'm just saying what's funny to me is like if you have a sign and it didn't lift off the ground, like how hard was your house hit?

00:24:11.000 It could be flooding.

00:24:12.000 Your house could have been completely flooded.

00:24:13.000 You have no power, no electricity, no running water.

00:24:17.000 Yeah.

00:24:17.000 I guess.

00:24:18.000 Your house needs to be drained.

00:24:21.000 It's federal emergency management.

00:24:23.000 It's not supposed to be federal emergency management for whoever this one person who's in charge with ideologically agrees with.

00:24:30.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:24:30.000 I was making a joke.

00:24:32.000 If you have any sign there and it survived a hurricane, your house is probably fine.

00:24:35.000 Right.

00:24:36.000 Also, I want FEMA funds to go to the Fyre Festival.

00:24:39.000 That's all our money should be going through is white guys trying to run a festival who fail.

00:24:44.000 Do you know that guy's doing another one?

00:24:45.000 I know.

00:24:46.000 It's not a fire festival, is it?

00:24:48.000 I think he's calling it a fire festival, too.

00:24:51.000 Is he?

00:24:51.000 I think so, yeah.

00:24:52.000 Yeah, and he's charging like a million dollars a ticket. 1.00

00:24:57.000 His move is to just charge an insane amount of money and see how fucking stupid some people are. 1.00

00:25:04.000 I mean, I love that. 1.00

00:25:05.000 The whole thing was nuts.

00:25:06.000 It's like, one dude, it's always like some guy who you think could be selling Bitcoin or a pyramid scheme, and now he's decided to put on a music festival.

00:25:16.000 Because he wants to be cool.

00:25:17.000 You know what I mean?

00:25:18.000 He wants to party with people.

00:25:19.000 He wants to party with people.

00:25:21.000 But didn't he get famous people to go?

00:25:24.000 I think a lot of people pulled out.

00:25:27.000 At the last minute?

00:25:28.000 Yeah.

00:25:29.000 Probably when they heard.

00:25:30.000 No, but who was the guy that was like, not Jadakiss.

00:25:34.000 Ja Rule? 0.62

00:25:34.000 Ja Rule was doing it with him. 0.62

00:25:35.000 I mean, if you have Ja Rule in anything, it's not going to be well.

00:25:39.000 Was Ja Rule one of the organizers?

00:25:41.000 I think he was just like one of the faces of it.

00:25:44.000 I don't know if he put money in it or not.

00:25:45.000 Right, like he gave him a piece of it or something like that.

00:25:48.000 I don't know.

00:25:49.000 He was there.

00:25:49.000 They brought all these influencers out.

00:25:51.000 I mean, listen, if he pulled it off, it would have been pretty good.

00:25:54.000 I mean, he did have everyone post at the same time, like, what was it, that orange box or something?

00:25:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:00.000 So, like, everyone saw it, and they were like, oh, what's this?

00:26:02.000 And then all these, like, rich kids are there, and they're, like, crying.

00:26:06.000 I mean, honestly, the Fyre Festival was for all of us.

00:26:09.000 That's what it was.

00:26:10.000 Right.

00:26:11.000 For all of us to see all these kids crying in these FEMA tents, and it was just...

00:26:15.000 It was amazing.

00:26:18.000 It was amazing.

00:26:19.000 See if you can find his videos.

00:26:21.000 He's trying to promote Fyre Festival, too.

00:26:24.000 So he's walking down the street of New York City saying that so many tickets are already sold.

00:26:28.000 I think they sold a lot of tickets.

00:26:30.000 I'm looking to buy one.

00:26:31.000 I can't find the website to buy them.

00:26:33.000 Not that I want to go.

00:26:34.000 I just want to see.

00:26:35.000 Well, it might not even be real. 0.82

00:26:36.000 He might be completely insane at this point.

00:26:38.000 There's a lot of press about it.

00:26:39.000 About Fyre Festival 2?

00:26:40.000 Yeah, posted on multiple websites.

00:26:42.000 This was all happening.

00:26:43.000 It could have just been a press release.

00:26:44.000 Right.

00:26:45.000 Where is Fyre Festival 2 going to be?

00:26:47.000 Somewhere in Mexico on April 25th through 28th.

00:26:50.000 Oh my god, I hope the cartel dies out.

00:26:51.000 This year?

00:26:52.000 No, coming up, yeah.

00:26:53.000 This year coming up, yeah.

00:26:55.000 Wow. 0.99

00:26:57.000 Who the fuck is going to go? 1.00

00:26:59.000 Who's going to Mexico for a fucking fire festival? 1.00

00:27:02.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:27:04.000 Just go to Cancun.

00:27:05.000 It's so much closer.

00:27:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:27:07.000 Fire festival.

00:27:08.000 Go to Puerto Vallarta.

00:27:10.000 You don't have to go to fire festival.

00:27:12.000 What's the place that all the kids go to?

00:27:13.000 Tulum.

00:27:14.000 They'll have to party in Tulum.

00:27:16.000 Yeah, have it there.

00:27:17.000 I don't know why Tulum.

00:27:19.000 That's like one of the major places where they have those Aztec ruins, I think, or Mayan ruins.

00:27:26.000 I don't know why Tulum is like the big, it's like where like hippies and psychedelic people go.

00:27:32.000 They go to Tulum.

00:27:33.000 They do a lot of Instagram posts.

00:27:35.000 I mean, that's all, everything's about an Instagram post.

00:27:38.000 I was watching this lady and her boyfriend the other day.

00:27:41.000 We were walking on the street, and they had basically taken up the entire street.

00:27:45.000 The girl was sitting on this marble bench, and she was posing.

00:27:48.000 You couldn't walk in between the two of them, and he was like 12 feet away from her.

00:27:52.000 So it was like, what is this?

00:27:54.000 You're just stopping.

00:27:55.000 And it was a long photo shoot.

00:27:58.000 It went on for a couple minutes. 1.00

00:27:59.000 It was fucking stupid as shit. 1.00

00:28:01.000 She kept changing her pose and her face. 1.00

00:28:04.000 The angle that he photographed her at.

00:28:07.000 I wanted to take his phone away. 1.00

00:28:08.000 Like, hey, fuckhead. 1.00

00:28:09.000 Get out of the way. 1.00

00:28:10.000 Yeah, they do that.

00:28:10.000 I was in CVS and they were doing a sketch.

00:28:13.000 And everyone's like, you've got to get out of here.

00:28:15.000 A sketch in CVS? Yeah, there's a bunch of people with cameras and they were trying to do a sketch and they were screaming and this girl was like, this girl behind the counter is a nice girl and she's also like a little bit slow so she's trying to get these people out of there.

00:28:27.000 It's just like chaos.

00:28:29.000 Everybody wants attention.

00:28:30.000 I get why people steal in CVS because nobody helps you and you're like, I will just steal.

00:28:34.000 It's just, you're better off stealing than waiting there for somebody to come help you.

00:28:39.000 It's just a nightmare.

00:28:40.000 The amount of people that I've seen working at those kind of stores that have like some sort of odd wound.

00:28:47.000 An eye wound?

00:28:48.000 Odd.

00:28:48.000 Some odd like something like their head looks oddly shapen like they get hit with a brick.

00:28:53.000 Well that's where veterans go to work.

00:28:55.000 They send you back.

00:28:56.000 To CVS? Yeah.

00:28:57.000 Really?

00:28:58.000 I don't know.

00:28:59.000 No?

00:28:59.000 You just making that up?

00:29:00.000 I make a lot of stuff up. 0.99

00:29:01.000 There's so many of these fucking sketches and pranks that people are doing now on YouTube. 0.96

00:29:06.000 It's like everybody, if you look at kids today, they did some sort of a survey where they asked kids, what do you want to be when you grow up? 0.98

00:29:15.000 And most of them said famous.

00:29:18.000 Yeah, I mean, you could get famous opening unboxing videos.

00:29:22.000 I mean, if you could do that, why wouldn't you want to do that?

00:29:26.000 I mean, I'd have a kid just to see if they could do that.

00:29:28.000 Well, you know that kid on TikTok, Keith Lee?

00:29:30.000 Do you know who he is?

00:29:31.000 He just reviews food?

00:29:32.000 No.

00:29:32.000 With sort of a monotone voice.

00:29:34.000 He's actually brothers with a...

00:29:36.000 He was an MMA fighter himself.

00:29:37.000 And he's brothers with Kevin Lee, who was a top UFC contender at one point in time.

00:29:42.000 And he just does these sort of monotone videos where he reviews food.

00:29:47.000 Is he like...

00:29:48.000 Super popular.

00:29:49.000 Wow.

00:29:50.000 Yeah.

00:29:51.000 It's like, why even go to school if you could just unbox a video?

00:29:55.000 One of a kind study shows that 27 million paid creators operating in the US, 11.6 million of them working full-time as creators.

00:30:04.000 Wow.

00:30:05.000 Is that a number one job? 0.98

00:30:06.000 If you're from another country and you're like, why don't we just bomb America? 1.00

00:30:11.000 That might be... 0.99

00:30:12.000 That's crazy.

00:30:13.000 Isn't the number one job driving vehicles in the United States, which is one of the things they're really worried about when it comes to automation, because that's one of the first jobs it's going to go.

00:30:22.000 I've seen those cars where there's no one operating them and they're just driving.

00:30:26.000 They're weird.

00:30:27.000 Okay, number one occupation.

00:30:29.000 Retail salesperson is $3 million.

00:30:31.000 Home and health personal care is $3 million as well.

00:30:34.000 Both of them are $3,700,000.

00:30:37.000 General and operations managers, $3,500,000.

00:30:41.000 Fast food counter workers, $3,400,000.

00:30:43.000 Show them all?

00:30:44.000 What's interesting is the retail and the home health aides, they're the same people doing both jobs because they can't afford to live.

00:30:51.000 Just one job.

00:30:52.000 So Drivers isn't even in the top ten.

00:30:54.000 That's interesting.

00:30:55.000 I thought it was like number one of the top ones.

00:30:58.000 So Cooks is two million seven and that's number ten.

00:31:02.000 Stalkers, order fillers, two eight.

00:31:05.000 And so influencers was what?

00:31:07.000 1 million?

00:31:08.000 That's what it was?

00:31:09.000 11. Wait a minute.

00:31:12.000 So that's more than that. 1.00

00:31:13.000 So what the fuck? 0.99

00:31:15.000 So go back to that chart again. 1.00

00:31:17.000 11.6.

00:31:18.000 That's like the top four combined almost.

00:31:21.000 That's crazy.

00:31:23.000 So that's the most common job.

00:31:25.000 So why is it saying retail salesperson?

00:31:27.000 It's like literally three times more common than that.

00:31:30.000 I'll have to then dig into where they're getting their data from, I guess.

00:31:33.000 Wow.

00:31:35.000 It says retail has been the most common job in the U.S. since 1997. Not anymore, bitches. 1.00

00:31:41.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:31:42.000 So that means an influencer or content creator, whatever the fuck you want to call people. 0.98

00:31:47.000 That's me too, I guess. 0.77

00:31:49.000 That's the number one job.

00:31:51.000 Podcasting.

00:31:51.000 I used to have a joke back when it was just reality shows that there's going to be a reality show about a cameraman on a reality show.

00:32:01.000 Somebody's filming him.

00:32:02.000 Someone's filming the cameraman on reality.

00:32:04.000 What a crazy job.

00:32:05.000 You are a cameraman on a reality show.

00:32:08.000 And then someone's going to say, but who's the cameraman behind the cameraman?

00:32:11.000 Right.

00:32:11.000 And then it's going to be like two mirrors facing each other.

00:32:13.000 The United States is going to be filled with just camera people filming other camera people.

00:32:19.000 I'm into it.

00:32:20.000 It was a joke, but it's kind of true now. 0.81

00:32:24.000 Because back when I said this, this was like 2000-something when I was on Fear Factor, there was no social media stars.

00:32:33.000 It didn't exist.

00:32:34.000 And social media itself didn't exist.

00:32:36.000 But now that it does, now that you see the impact that it has and how many people are making a living, Air quotes content creators. 0.94

00:32:43.000 It's kind of fucking crazy.

00:32:45.000 It's incredible. 0.98

00:32:46.000 Yeah.

00:32:47.000 It's a totally new market that emerged out of nowhere.

00:32:50.000 And according to that thing, at least, it's the number one job in the country.

00:32:55.000 Yeah.

00:32:55.000 I mean, it makes sense.

00:32:56.000 People are making a ton of money off of it.

00:32:58.000 That's why people are like filming every single thing that they do.

00:33:01.000 Yeah.

00:33:02.000 I'm just putting it on Instagram or TikTok.

00:33:06.000 Well, they learned from the Kardashians that it doesn't even have to be interesting.

00:33:09.000 No, it doesn't.

00:33:10.000 You just have to have a new scene every five seconds.

00:33:13.000 And also if it's like something crazy, if somebody's fighting, like a fight.

00:33:17.000 That helps.

00:33:17.000 Yeah.

00:33:18.000 But that doesn't even matter.

00:33:20.000 All you have to do is just constantly switch angles.

00:33:24.000 Do you ever watch a reality show?

00:33:25.000 Mm-hmm.

00:33:26.000 The scenes constantly change.

00:33:28.000 Just switching. 1.00

00:33:29.000 My wife watches that stupid fucking Kardashian show. 1.00

00:33:31.000 I'll watch it too, but sometimes it's so monotone. 1.00

00:33:34.000 It's just one monotone person to another monotone person.

00:33:37.000 She just likes the clothes and the little pretty houses and design.

00:33:39.000 I mean, listen, I've watched the Kardashians.

00:33:41.000 I get it.

00:33:42.000 But the point is, every five seconds, the camera changes angles.

00:33:47.000 You never have, like, a podcast.

00:33:51.000 Yeah.

00:33:51.000 It's just, you and me, the only thing that changes is your camera's on when you're talking, my camera's on when we're talking.

00:33:56.000 Sometimes it's both of us talking on camera.

00:33:58.000 I mean, I wish Kris Jenner was my mother. 1.00

00:34:01.000 I mean, the way she's made these kids so famous, like, could you imagine telling your kid to fucking have a sex scene and then release it? 1.00

00:34:10.000 Do you think that she did that? 1.00

00:34:11.000 Yeah, she absolutely did that. 0.93

00:34:13.000 For sure?

00:34:13.000 I think so.

00:34:14.000 Really?

00:34:14.000 I'm pretty sure.

00:34:16.000 Hmm.

00:34:17.000 I reserve judgment.

00:34:19.000 I think she did and I think it was the smartest thing she could have done for all their careers.

00:34:23.000 Definitely worked.

00:34:24.000 Absolutely. 0.93

00:34:25.000 And then everybody has sex. 0.94

00:34:27.000 Right. 0.98

00:34:27.000 If you want to watch, go watch. 0.98

00:34:29.000 Go watch it.

00:34:30.000 Yeah.

00:34:30.000 Like you would never think a mom would put that out there but it was like pretty brilliant.

00:34:34.000 My mom would never do something like that for me. 1.00

00:34:36.000 Well, you know, she's a little unconventional. 1.00

00:34:39.000 Sure. 0.99

00:34:40.000 Yeah, it takes an unconventional woman to, like, release your kid's sex tape. 1.00

00:34:45.000 She kind of turned her husband into a woman and basically made the entire Klan super rich. 1.00

00:34:51.000 Even Rob is rich.

00:34:52.000 Super rich.

00:34:53.000 They're all rich.

00:34:54.000 Crazy rich. 0.71

00:34:55.000 Yeah, for no reason. 0.99

00:34:57.000 Because of that sex date.

00:34:58.000 Right, but that is kind of the seed.

00:35:01.000 It is.

00:35:02.000 Yeah.

00:35:03.000 Ray J was more famous than Kim when they did that.

00:35:06.000 Right.

00:35:06.000 And now Ray J's like, nowhere.

00:35:09.000 Like, if his mother also was on top of it with Chris, he could have been a bigger star too. 0.98

00:35:14.000 Nobody gives a shit about Ray J anymore. 0.97

00:35:16.000 That's crazy that he didn't capitalize on that. 0.98

00:35:19.000 Because his mom wasn't Kris Jenner.

00:35:20.000 Right, but why didn't he figure out a way?

00:35:23.000 I don't know.

00:35:24.000 What's unique about her way of thinking?

00:35:27.000 I think it's just Kim is very pretty.

00:35:31.000 That helps.

00:35:32.000 He's a good-looking guy, though. 1.00

00:35:33.000 He's got a big dick. 0.99

00:35:33.000 He is a good-looking guy. 0.99

00:35:35.000 Got a big dick, right? 1.00

00:35:36.000 I assume. 1.00

00:35:37.000 You know, I never saw the video.

00:35:38.000 How dare you lie to me like that, right to my face. 1.00

00:35:40.000 That he has a big dick? 1.00

00:35:41.000 No, that you never saw the video. 1.00

00:35:42.000 I didn't. 1.00

00:35:43.000 I saw the video, but I didn't see his dick in it. 1.00

00:35:45.000 Oh. 1.00

00:35:45.000 What did you see? 1.00

00:35:46.000 I think I saw it too late.

00:35:47.000 I seen it years later.

00:35:49.000 I seen it years later. 0.99

00:35:50.000 I checked it out too late when the dick wasn't in it. 0.99

00:35:52.000 What? 1.00

00:35:53.000 The dick was removed eventually? 1.00

00:35:55.000 I think the dick was eventually removed. 1.00

00:35:56.000 Come on. 1.00

00:35:56.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:35:57.000 I've been searching for it pretty hard.

00:35:59.000 I bet Jamie can find it right now on Pornhub.

00:36:01.000 Let's see.

00:36:02.000 Can you find it?

00:36:03.000 Pornhub is blocked in Texas, Joe.

00:36:05.000 Oh, no.

00:36:06.000 Well, you know what?

00:36:06.000 Why is it blocked in Texas?

00:36:06.000 You've got to have certain laws if you want to have free guns.

00:36:11.000 Why is it blocked in Texas?

00:36:13.000 It's not blocked.

00:36:14.000 It's not blocked.

00:36:15.000 You just have to have proof that you're 18. How do you prove that?

00:36:18.000 Your license?

00:36:19.000 Upload, yeah.

00:36:20.000 You have Kris Jenner say that you're over 18?

00:36:24.000 You have to have proof.

00:36:27.000 Okay, I guess.

00:36:28.000 Well, I'm going to go home and search it.

00:36:31.000 Well, porn addiction for kids is a real thing.

00:36:36.000 I date a guy that had porn addiction.

00:36:37.000 You know?

00:36:38.000 What happened?

00:36:39.000 I mean, we broke up eventually.

00:36:40.000 He was also a little autistic. 0.99

00:36:42.000 And then he went to see a sex therapist and I think they were fucking, so I guess she fixed it. 1.00

00:36:48.000 He fucked his sex therapist? 1.00

00:36:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:50.000 Jesus Christ.

00:36:51.000 For real?

00:36:51.000 I mean, that's what he told me.

00:36:53.000 I don't think he was, like, lying about it. 1.00

00:36:54.000 What a bitch. 1.00

00:36:55.000 Yeah, but you have to, like, it's like any other addiction. 1.00

00:36:57.000 You have to, like, stop doing it.

00:36:59.000 I didn't even know he had it.

00:37:00.000 I'm just focusing on the sex therapist.

00:37:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:02.000 Like, how crazy is it that she's fucking her clients? 1.00

00:37:05.000 Maybe her boyfriend wasn't fucking her at all. 1.00

00:37:07.000 And she was like, at least someone's obsessed with it. 0.99

00:37:10.000 Well, maybe...

00:37:11.000 Give it to me.

00:37:12.000 Maybe.

00:37:13.000 Maybe that's how she cures you. 0.99

00:37:15.000 Because if you're horny, if you're like a healthy person who's just horny normally, and the person you're with is not horny at all, and you're exhausted by that, but you're a sex therapist, and then you're talking to some guy, he's a good-looking guy, and he's like, I want to fuck all the time. 0.98

00:37:31.000 And she's like, you know what, I want to fuck all the time, too. 1.00

00:37:34.000 Sure. 0.99

00:37:34.000 But like with porn addiction, he would have like 300 screens open at once, so one person to him is boring. 0.99

00:37:41.000 So that's what porn addiction is.

00:37:44.000 I'm exaggerating, but you need a lot of different things open, and it probably has to get more and more progressive for you to get off.

00:37:51.000 Well, that's where it gets real weird, right?

00:37:53.000 You start getting into the darker side of porn, like violent porn and choking and gagging, spitting and slapping and abuse, tying people up. 1.00

00:38:05.000 That kind of shit. 1.00

00:38:06.000 Like, because if you're just getting your jollies... 1.00

00:38:08.000 If you're not just trying to masturbate and have a little fantasy, you want to, like... 0.99

00:38:13.000 It's got to get darker and crazier and cra... 0.99

00:38:15.000 It's got to, like, really freak you out.

00:38:17.000 But that's why I think you have all those screens open.

00:38:19.000 You're watching all of it at once.

00:38:21.000 You're getting tiny dopamine hits from a hundred sources.

00:38:24.000 Right.

00:38:24.000 So then, like...

00:38:26.000 And then your therapist calling you up.

00:38:27.000 Get over here. 0.99

00:38:28.000 I got 300 other therapists here. 0.98

00:38:31.000 You're a naughty boy. 0.93

00:38:33.000 Get over here. 0.99

00:38:34.000 Yeah, so, I mean...

00:38:35.000 How did he say that it started with the sex therapist?

00:38:39.000 I don't know.

00:38:40.000 He didn't tell me, like, the specifics of it.

00:38:42.000 We had been broken up already, and we, like, remained friends, and he just told me that they started sleeping together.

00:38:47.000 Jesus.

00:38:48.000 That seems crazy. 1.00

00:38:50.000 That's like prison guards fucking the prisoners. 1.00

00:38:53.000 I mean, if I was in prison, I would try and fuck all the guards. 1.00

00:38:55.000 What else are you going to do? 1.00

00:38:56.000 I would do everything. 0.90

00:38:57.000 I'd become Muslim. 0.95

00:38:58.000 I would become trans. 0.88

00:39:00.000 I would do everything I could do in prison to pass the time.

00:39:03.000 Especially if you have a long sentence.

00:39:04.000 If you're there for life, I'm down to do everything.

00:39:07.000 I'll do license plates.

00:39:09.000 I'm going to do hair.

00:39:11.000 I'm going to cook.

00:39:12.000 I'm going to do everything there.

00:39:14.000 Of course.

00:39:15.000 Yeah.

00:39:18.000 Yeah.

00:39:18.000 It's weird how many people are in prison.

00:39:21.000 I mean, we went over this the other day. 0.99

00:39:23.000 How many people are in prison in the United States compared to, like, the rest of the fucking world? 0.97

00:39:28.000 It's like we have the highest percentage of people that are in prison, I think, of any country in the Western world for sure. 0.98

00:39:36.000 I mean, China's hard to count because you have essentially slaves. 1.00

00:39:40.000 Well, also in China, they all live in tiny boxes anyway, which are prisons of their own doing. 1.00

00:39:46.000 Well, you wouldn't say necessarily that the people that make your iPhone are slaves, but they're literally sleeping in dorms and they put nets around the building to keep them from jumping off.

00:39:56.000 Right.

00:39:56.000 I'd rather be in prison.

00:39:57.000 How do you get in prison in China?

00:39:59.000 At least in prison, they probably give you less hours than the Foxconn workers.

00:40:04.000 Sure.

00:40:05.000 You probably get better food.

00:40:06.000 How many people?

00:40:07.000 End of 2023, the US had 1.8 million people in prison, which is more than any other country.

00:40:14.000 China had the second highest number of prisoners, with about 100,000 fewer than the US. But the thing about China, again, it's not just the amount of people in an actual prison.

00:40:22.000 You have to think about the actual people that are slaves.

00:40:26.000 The US has the highest incarceration rate in the world, 724 people per 100,000.

00:40:33.000 England and Wales has an incarceration rate of 145 per 140,000, and Russia has 581 people per 100,000.

00:40:41.000 So Russia's nipping at our heels. 0.99

00:40:44.000 Russian people are fucking crazy, though. 1.00

00:40:47.000 US has longer sentences than many other countries, which contributes to the high incarceration rates. 1.00

00:40:52.000 I wonder how many other countries have private prisons, too.

00:40:54.000 That's the dark part.

00:40:56.000 Well, that's how you make the money.

00:40:57.000 Yeah.

00:40:58.000 Yeah.

00:41:00.000 Profit.

00:41:00.000 Profit off of people.

00:41:01.000 I remember when I found out that prison guard unions were lobbying to keep marijuana laws because they wanted people to be in jail.

00:41:08.000 I was like, what?

00:41:09.000 Yeah, because they want to make money. 0.54

00:41:10.000 They want money.

00:41:11.000 They need that job. 1.00

00:41:12.000 They need those contracts.

00:41:15.000 So many countries have private prisons, including the United States, has the most private prisons in the world, 158 facilities in 30 states, Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia.

00:41:26.000 Australia, high percentage of privatized prisons, New Zealand, United Kingdom, Scotland, Wales, South Africa, Japan, Brazil.

00:41:34.000 When did they start with the private prison thing? 0.99

00:41:37.000 Like who, what fucking monster? 1.00

00:41:39.000 Okay, Google this. 1.00

00:41:40.000 What was the first private prison? 1.00

00:41:42.000 What fucking monster didn't see... 1.00

00:41:46.000 Didn't see the road ahead when you allow people to profit off of people being locked up. 1.00

00:41:51.000 What monster didn't see you're going to just have people lock more people up? 1.00

00:41:55.000 1984, these motherfuckers. 1.00

00:41:57.000 It's George Orwell. 1.00

00:41:58.000 Literally is Orwell.

00:41:59.000 I would have thought it was before that.

00:42:01.000 No, it's a fairly recent thing.

00:42:04.000 Prison used to be something that we used to have because we had to lock certain people up to protect them from society.

00:42:10.000 And instead it became, hey, I think I can make money.

00:42:14.000 I think I can make money off people in jail.

00:42:16.000 They're using people like batteries to generate money. 0.88

00:42:20.000 This thing says Louisiana privatized.

00:42:21.000 It's penitentiary.

00:42:22.000 I don't know if there's a big differentiation between that.

00:42:25.000 1844. Privatized, which was run as a factory.

00:42:30.000 Yeah, inmates were used to produce cheap clothing for enslaved people.

00:42:33.000 Wow!

00:42:35.000 That's crazy.

00:42:37.000 You're producing clothes for slaves.

00:42:40.000 I mean, that is basically just Xi'an.

00:42:43.000 That's what they're doing in China.

00:42:44.000 Right.

00:42:45.000 All those clothes that are like $2.

00:42:47.000 Yeah, that's weird, right?

00:42:49.000 I know.

00:42:49.000 You can buy a total knockoff of a designer dress for like $4.

00:42:52.000 I know.

00:42:53.000 It's great.

00:42:54.000 I love it.

00:42:55.000 You love it.

00:42:57.000 I think there's a documentary on that that I was watching.

00:43:00.000 My kid was watching it and I walked in on it.

00:43:03.000 Was it like the Xi'an documentary?

00:43:04.000 Mm-hmm.

00:43:05.000 Yeah, they were talking about these people, like they lost their contract because they weren't able to produce things as fast as this company needed them.

00:43:12.000 And it was just all about the knockoff industry over there.

00:43:15.000 So if you're a designer, you might take that top that you're wearing and people like it.

00:43:19.000 They'll just take that top and copy it exactly.

00:43:21.000 And sell for five bucks.

00:43:23.000 And you're like, what?

00:43:24.000 That's $59 on my website.

00:43:27.000 Nope, five bucks.

00:43:27.000 Why are there not knockoff iPhones?

00:43:29.000 There are.

00:43:30.000 Not only is there a knockoff iPhone, there's a knockoff Apple store in China where every single item is not really Apple.

00:43:39.000 But it works just as good?

00:43:41.000 It does not work as good?

00:43:43.000 I doubt it.

00:43:44.000 How long does it last?

00:43:45.000 Why wouldn't they cut corners?

00:43:46.000 They're already lying to you.

00:43:48.000 I know.

00:43:49.000 Why wouldn't they put a cheaper chip in the laptops?

00:43:52.000 Wouldn't they put cheaper screens?

00:43:53.000 If you want to use like Gorilla Glass and AMOLED displays, that's just expensive. 1.00

00:43:58.000 Use some cheap-ass, you know, five-year-ago bullshit and just sell it to morons. 0.99

00:44:02.000 If it lasts for a couple years, that's great. 1.00

00:44:05.000 Five-year-old bullshit still works. 1.00

00:44:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:07.000 It does.

00:44:08.000 It's not great, though.

00:44:09.000 I mean, I drop my phone all the time.

00:44:11.000 Try to register with the Apple Store, and they're like, nah, player.

00:44:15.000 That's ain't an iPhone.

00:44:16.000 That's why you need Riot, so you can steal the stuff. 0.61

00:44:20.000 It all comes back to that.

00:44:23.000 Stealing all this stuff.

00:44:25.000 But someone's got to make this stuff. 0.98

00:44:26.000 Slaves.

00:44:27.000 Yeah, in China. 0.81

00:44:28.000 Yeah.

00:44:30.000 I mean, what percentage of...

00:44:32.000 Let's ask this.

00:44:33.000 What percentage of our electronics is made in China?

00:44:38.000 Probably 95%.

00:44:39.000 Well, a lot gets made in Japan and South Korea.

00:44:42.000 Like Sony, huge.

00:44:44.000 Samsung, huge.

00:44:46.000 They're probably one of the biggest electronic makers.

00:44:48.000 They make everything.

00:44:49.000 They make refrigerators. 0.99

00:44:50.000 They make smart refrigerators where you can check your refrigerator with your phone to see what the fuck's in there. 0.98

00:44:56.000 To make sure your refrigerator's not doing something. 0.98

00:44:58.000 Yeah, checking on you. 1.00

00:45:01.000 Keeping an eye on that motherfucker. 1.00

00:45:02.000 What's going on in there? 1.00

00:45:02.000 What are you doing? 1.00

00:45:03.000 How many ice cubes have you made? 1.00

00:45:05.000 You lazy bitch. 1.00

00:45:07.000 Where's my fucking ice cubes from your refrigerator or from your freezer? 1.00

00:45:11.000 Are they the dirtiest ice cubes of all time? 1.00

00:45:14.000 I say 95%.

00:45:15.000 I don't ever want those in my glass.

00:45:17.000 I think that Apple stuff is all coming from China.

00:45:20.000 You nailed it.

00:45:20.000 Oh yeah, all the stuff that actually gets made from Apple.

00:45:24.000 That's all China. 0.99

00:45:25.000 Laptops and computer monitors.

00:45:27.000 China supplies 92% of US imports.

00:45:31.000 Phones.

00:45:32.000 China supplies 74% of US phone imports.

00:45:36.000 So Samsung does not use China for phones.

00:45:40.000 And I don't know if it's an ethical thing or what, but I think they make their phones in India and somewhere else.

00:45:47.000 Maybe Vietnam. 0.94

00:45:50.000 Is there a correlation between them, like, stopping killing baby girls in China with making all of this stuff? 0.97

00:45:57.000 Or they're like, let's keep them alive so we can have them...

00:46:00.000 No, I think they just woke up and said, we have, like, 85% men.

00:46:04.000 Right. 1.00

00:46:05.000 And all these poor women are fucked. 1.00

00:46:07.000 You know, like... 1.00

00:46:08.000 They have to keep fucking all these guys. 1.00

00:46:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:10.000 There's not enough women. 1.00

00:46:11.000 They have to live with like three or four guys just to balance it out. 0.98

00:46:16.000 Gross.

00:46:16.000 Take turns.

00:46:17.000 They're not as highly competitive in China, it sounds like.

00:46:20.000 Hmm.

00:46:21.000 They relocated some of the manufacturing from China to Southeast Asia to avoid high labor costs.

00:46:27.000 What?

00:46:30.000 Those slaves are expensive, Adrian.

00:46:33.000 Samsung also has been able to compete with Chinese brands like Xiaomi, Oppo, and Vivo in the Chinese market.

00:46:41.000 Interesting.

00:46:41.000 I've never even heard of those brands.

00:46:43.000 Yeah, they make...

00:46:45.000 Xiaomi makes high-end Android phones.

00:46:49.000 In the rest of the world, Android phones are huge.

00:46:52.000 I know.

00:46:52.000 Because everybody uses WhatsApp.

00:46:54.000 They don't really give a fuck about iMessage. 0.94

00:46:56.000 WhatsApp is big in the Hispanic community, too. 0.97

00:47:00.000 Yeah, WhatsApp is huge.

00:47:01.000 I have friends that only talk to me on WhatsApp.

00:47:03.000 I do, too.

00:47:06.000 Yeah.

00:47:06.000 Like, well, Zuckerberg owns it.

00:47:08.000 You know, he owns it.

00:47:10.000 But I don't talk to him other than WhatsApp.

00:47:13.000 He's a WhatsApp, but he owns WhatsApp.

00:47:14.000 You talk to him on WhatsApp?

00:47:15.000 Yeah, I talk to him on WhatsApp.

00:47:16.000 What does he say? 0.99

00:47:16.000 We talk shit about things. 0.99

00:47:18.000 Yeah? 1.00

00:47:18.000 He's like, what's up? 1.00

00:47:19.000 He's a nice guy.

00:47:20.000 He really is.

00:47:21.000 No, he's a billionaire.

00:47:22.000 Yeah, he's a nice guy.

00:47:23.000 Because when someone's, like, really rich, like, oh, that guy's not a person.

00:47:26.000 Yeah, but he didn't start out rich, though, did he?

00:47:28.000 No.

00:47:28.000 Of course not.

00:47:29.000 He invented Facebook.

00:47:30.000 Yeah, but some people are rich and their families had money the whole time.

00:47:35.000 That's weird.

00:47:35.000 Yeah.

00:47:36.000 That's weird, right?

00:47:37.000 Because then you're insulated from birth and then you go right into a deeper layer of insulation where you're completely disconnected from people.

00:47:47.000 That's when you get into Bill Gates category.

00:47:49.000 Let's figure out a way to block out the sun. 1.00

00:47:53.000 You're so rich where you're like, I really want to fuck shit up for everyone. 0.99

00:47:56.000 Imagine, like, I was reading this thing about Bill Gates' idea to block out the sun, and oopsies, oopsies, Jamie. 1.00

00:48:03.000 Sorry.

00:48:03.000 No worries.

00:48:04.000 I'll clean it.

00:48:06.000 I'm a woman.

00:48:06.000 I'll clean it.

00:48:07.000 I know my place.

00:48:10.000 They were talking about Bill Gates has some plan to stop global warming and shoot particles into the air to block out the sun. 0.98

00:48:17.000 And people are like, hey, do you know how many fucking people are on Earth? 0.94

00:48:20.000 You can't just come up with that idea and try it. 0.98

00:48:23.000 What about the rest of us? 0.99

00:48:25.000 You don't need vitamin D. But imagine being so ridiculous. 0.93

00:48:29.000 You're so wealthy that you think, oh, I could just block the sun. 0.98

00:48:33.000 I kind of love it. 0.99

00:48:34.000 I kind of love that this guy's so nuts. 1.00

00:48:36.000 He is nuts. 0.99

00:48:37.000 And then you're like, I'm just going to stop water from happening. 0.94

00:48:41.000 I love so many of the things that can do that much damage to the world.

00:48:44.000 I think people should just stop eating meat. 1.00

00:48:46.000 And then he just tries to get everybody to eat stupid fucking fake meat. 1.00

00:48:49.000 That's fine, but imagine blocking out the sun. 1.00

00:48:52.000 That's crazy.

00:48:52.000 Yeah.

00:48:53.000 He's also buying farmland.

00:48:55.000 To do what? 0.99

00:48:56.000 Who fucking knows? 1.00

00:48:57.000 Probably grow his fake meat food. 1.00

00:48:59.000 Like GMO shit? 1.00

00:49:01.000 Yeah, well, fake meat is made out of plant protein, and so you have to grow plants. 1.00

00:49:05.000 I've never had it.

00:49:06.000 It's nasty.

00:49:07.000 I bet it's disgusting.

00:49:09.000 The thing about it is, like, if you want to have healthy vegetarian food, go eat Indian food.

00:49:15.000 It tastes delicious, it's good for you, and it's vegetarian.

00:49:19.000 Like, it just doesn't have to pretend to be a cheeseburger.

00:49:22.000 Right.

00:49:23.000 The fake cheeseburger stuff is all seed oils.

00:49:26.000 Right, just eat legumes and whatever you're gonna eat.

00:49:28.000 Yeah, you can do it.

00:49:30.000 If you want to eat healthy and have delicious food, Indian food is the way to go.

00:49:36.000 There's an Indian food restaurant in Woodland Hills I used to go to all the time.

00:49:40.000 It was this cool place.

00:49:41.000 It was like everybody spoke Hindi and you went in there and you had to just guess what you were eating.

00:49:47.000 Everything was vegetarian.

00:49:49.000 That's pretty scary to me.

00:49:49.000 Oh, it was super, super authentic.

00:49:51.000 It was like there's this weird offshoot Indian community and so they had this Indian grocery store.

00:49:57.000 And then in the back of the Indian grocery store, they had this cafe, and it was all Indian food.

00:50:01.000 It was really good, though.

00:50:02.000 They use a lot of spices, too.

00:50:04.000 Oh, yeah. 0.96

00:50:05.000 They know how to spice the shit out of those vegetables. 1.00

00:50:07.000 But it was good. 0.95

00:50:08.000 It was like delicious vegetables.

00:50:11.000 It's pretty healthy.

00:50:11.000 It's very healthy.

00:50:13.000 It's like vegetables and all that stuff's pretty good.

00:50:15.000 Also, they use a lot of turmeric and curcumin and all those spices.

00:50:21.000 That's all anti-inflammatory turmeric.

00:50:23.000 Right.

00:50:23.000 I mean, you have to be close to a bathroom, but it is pretty good.

00:50:26.000 Let's go.

00:50:29.000 I'm going to eat this on the run. 0.99

00:50:30.000 But that's my point is like if you want to fucking eat vegetarian, if you want to eat vegetables only, there's a way to do it that tastes good and you don't have to pretend you're eating a fucking burger. 0.99

00:50:41.000 Those burgers are nasty. 0.99

00:50:42.000 I guess you just feel left out.

00:50:43.000 Like what is the point of pretending to eat that?

00:50:45.000 Well, it's because the people quit eating meat.

00:50:48.000 Right.

00:50:48.000 I understand that.

00:50:50.000 No, they quit and then they want the meat back.

00:50:53.000 They wish they could have the meat.

00:50:54.000 Oh, you can pretend you're eating the meat.

00:50:55.000 It even bleeds just like a burger.

00:50:58.000 Gross.

00:50:58.000 It's all gross.

00:50:59.000 Just eat a burger or eat beans.

00:51:01.000 It's also super-duper unhealthy for you.

00:51:04.000 It can't be healthy to manufacture it like that.

00:51:07.000 It's so processed.

00:51:09.000 If you want to eat vegetables, this is how you eat them.

00:51:12.000 Come out of the ground, clean them up.

00:51:14.000 Put some spices.

00:51:15.000 Cook them.

00:51:16.000 That's a vegetable. 0.99

00:51:17.000 You don't run it through fucking machines and glop it up with oils and extract things and compress it. 1.00

00:51:25.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:51:26.000 You ever see what Tempe looks like? 1.00

00:51:28.000 Oh, it's nasty.

00:51:29.000 I know.

00:51:29.000 My friend was eating it one time.

00:51:30.000 I was like, that looks disgusting.

00:51:32.000 I was watching the production of tofu from scratch with all these machines.

00:51:36.000 Why would you ever think that's natural?

00:51:39.000 And tofu doesn't taste good.

00:51:40.000 I mean, I know it picks up the flavor, whatever it is, but on its own it has no taste.

00:51:45.000 No.

00:51:45.000 On its own it has no taste.

00:51:46.000 It's a crude source of protein that doesn't have a lot of amino acids in it.

00:51:50.000 It's not as bioavailable.

00:51:52.000 But you can live on it.

00:51:53.000 You can live on vegetables.

00:51:56.000 You can do it.

00:51:58.000 It's not advisable.

00:51:59.000 You just don't have energy, though.

00:52:01.000 No, you're missing so many things.

00:52:03.000 You're missing creatine, you're missing a bunch of amino acids, you're missing vitamin B12. There's a bunch of things you're going to have to supplement with.

00:52:09.000 You know, there's ways people supplement that can mitigate some of that.

00:52:14.000 Algae is a good one because algae is kind of a life form that's different and you can get certain vitamins from algae that you can't get from just like plants that grow above ground.

00:52:26.000 This sounds disgusting.

00:52:27.000 It does sound disgusting.

00:52:28.000 You know what vegans should really consider adopting into their diet?

00:52:31.000 Mollusks.

00:52:32.000 Because mollusks are actually more primitive than plants.

00:52:39.000 You've got to go over the fact they move.

00:52:41.000 Because Venus flytraps move too.

00:52:43.000 They do.

00:52:43.000 Would you feel bad about eating a Venus flytrap salad?

00:52:47.000 If you do, you're a cuckoo person.

00:52:48.000 You're not just a vegetarian. 0.71

00:52:50.000 You're a cuckoo person.

00:52:51.000 Now you think the Venus flytrap is smarter than, like, cabbage? 1.00

00:52:54.000 That's stupid. 1.00

00:52:55.000 That doesn't make any sense. 1.00

00:52:56.000 Do vegetarians not eat any vegetables either?

00:52:59.000 Aren't there some people that believe, like, all that's...

00:53:00.000 Oh, fruitarians.

00:53:01.000 That's a fruitarian, yeah.

00:53:02.000 So then what do they eat?

00:53:04.000 Well, those people eat cancer.

00:53:05.000 They die.

00:53:06.000 I mean, that's crazy. 1.00

00:53:07.000 That shit's so bad for you to just only eat fruit. 1.00

00:53:10.000 You're overwhelmed with sugar. 1.00

00:53:11.000 You're eating sugar all day long.

00:53:13.000 Sugar should be something you have every now and then, I think.

00:53:16.000 I mean, I think sugar is generally, it causes all sorts of inflammation.

00:53:20.000 It's not really good for you.

00:53:22.000 It tastes great, but it's not good for you.

00:53:24.000 You mean like fruit sugar?

00:53:25.000 Even fruit sugar.

00:53:26.000 I think you should get fruit sugar in the form of fruit only.

00:53:29.000 You definitely shouldn't get it in orange juice.

00:53:31.000 Orange juice is no different than drinking a Coca-Cola.

00:53:35.000 But what if it's like 100% just orange juice?

00:53:37.000 Doesn't matter.

00:53:38.000 Your body's not used to processing all that liquid sugar.

00:53:41.000 Yeah, exactly the same way.

00:53:43.000 Maybe even worse.

00:53:44.000 Because some, like my daughter once got one of them little apple juices from Disneyland.

00:53:50.000 And she looks at it and she goes, Jesus Christ, this has 18 grams of sugar in it.

00:53:55.000 This little tiny thing.

00:53:56.000 Yeah, fruit.

00:53:57.000 Like, what is a Coca-Cola, Jamie?

00:53:59.000 Is it 30?

00:54:00.000 Let's guess.

00:54:01.000 How many grams of sugar do you think Coca-Cola has in it?

00:54:04.000 Probably about 40. 40?

00:54:05.000 Okay.

00:54:06.000 I say about 30. What do you think, Jamie?

00:54:09.000 Like 30-ish?

00:54:10.000 39. 39?

00:54:12.000 Okay.

00:54:13.000 That's it?

00:54:14.000 Sorry, that's what it is.

00:54:15.000 Okay.

00:54:16.000 So what is 12 ounces of orange juice?

00:54:19.000 12 ounces of, let's say, fresh-squeezed.

00:54:22.000 So you think you're eating healthy.

00:54:24.000 Fresh-squeezed orange juice.

00:54:26.000 You still have to be better off having a fruit juice over a Diet Coke.

00:54:30.000 Or not a Diet Coke, a regular Coke.

00:54:33.000 Not much.

00:54:34.000 Well, they're both fructose, right?

00:54:37.000 About 30. 30, yeah.

00:54:39.000 Real similar.

00:54:40.000 Real similar to Coca-Cola.

00:54:42.000 You do get vitamin C. You get that.

00:54:44.000 But if you want orange juice, you should get it from eating oranges.

00:54:49.000 Sure.

00:54:50.000 Your body knows what to do with that.

00:54:52.000 Your body gets a slice of orange and goes, I didn't do this.

00:54:55.000 This is good.

00:54:55.000 There's plenty of fiber in there.

00:54:57.000 Okay, so let me answer this.

00:54:58.000 If you're drinking orange juice, how come your body doesn't recognize that as an orange?

00:55:01.000 Because it's going straight to your liver.

00:55:03.000 Okay.

00:55:04.000 There's no breaking down of fiber.

00:55:07.000 And you're getting a dose equivalent to eating eight oranges immediately.

00:55:12.000 Okay. 1.00

00:55:13.000 Your body's like, what the fuck is this? 1.00

00:55:16.000 That's why soda's so bad for you. 1.00

00:55:17.000 Sure. 1.00

00:55:18.000 Your body's like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

00:55:21.000 Well, I stopped eating sugar. 0.99

00:55:23.000 Totally.

00:55:25.000 I only have fruit, but other than that, I don't have any cookies or cake or any of that stuff.

00:55:30.000 How do you feel?

00:55:31.000 I feel better.

00:55:32.000 I mean, I lost a ton of weight.

00:55:33.000 You did?

00:55:33.000 You look great.

00:55:34.000 Thanks.

00:55:35.000 How much did you lose?

00:55:37.000 From the last time I was here, probably like 45, 50 pounds, but I also was working out, too.

00:55:41.000 How do your joints feel?

00:55:42.000 They must feel so much lighter.

00:55:43.000 They do, but I have a friend who's like, losing weight, it doesn't matter how much you weigh, it doesn't weigh on your joints.

00:55:49.000 And I'm like, you know that's not true.

00:55:51.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:55:52.000 I know, but you just kind of have to let people think that, because what am I going to do, fight with you about it?

00:55:56.000 Just, okay, fine.

00:55:57.000 She said it doesn't make a difference in your joints?

00:55:59.000 It doesn't make a difference how much you weigh on your knees.

00:56:02.000 Is it a guy or a girl?

00:56:03.000 A girl.

00:56:04.000 Hmm.

00:56:05.000 And I was like, okay.

00:56:07.000 I was staying at her house, too, and I was like, I'm not going to fight with you about this.

00:56:10.000 I used to notice the difference when I was fighting, when I would lose weight, when I would compete.

00:56:16.000 So I used to weigh like 155 pounds, and I had to compete at 140. And just that 15-pound weight you felt.

00:56:24.000 Oh, yeah.

00:56:24.000 I felt so light.

00:56:25.000 I felt so light on my feet.

00:56:26.000 You feel a total difference.

00:56:28.000 Well, I work out with a vest.

00:56:29.000 I put a weight vest on.

00:56:30.000 So it's a 25-pound weight vest, and I do all these bodyweight exercises.

00:56:34.000 That 25 pounds doesn't seem like much.

00:56:36.000 I get that thing off me, I'm like...

00:56:38.000 Yeah, I mean my back.

00:56:40.000 Everything feels better.

00:56:41.000 Of course.

00:56:42.000 Your joints, everything.

00:56:43.000 You're overstrapped. 0.99

00:56:44.000 But your legs are probably strong as fuck. 1.00

00:56:48.000 I used to say that about Ralphie Mae. 1.00

00:56:49.000 I'm like, bro, if you could lose weight, you could kick through a fucking building. 0.99

00:56:53.000 But I think your knees are just like, we need a break. 1.00

00:56:57.000 Right, but they will get a break.

00:56:58.000 They're going to get a break because you're going to lose 400 pounds.

00:57:00.000 If you lose 400 pounds, sure.

00:57:02.000 I mean, if I was looking at his legs, I'm like, the muscle you must have in your legs, you go upstairs.

00:57:07.000 You know, like, Ralphie was performing in the belly room.

00:57:10.000 I don't know how many people are going upstairs.

00:57:11.000 Ralphie went into the belly room, so he had to go upstairs. 0.82

00:57:14.000 You remember the belly room of the store? 0.99

00:57:16.000 That's a fucking old school staircase. 0.96

00:57:18.000 But I mean, how often are you doing that? 0.99

00:57:20.000 Well, he's walking a lot.

00:57:22.000 Because he was always walking.

00:57:24.000 Just walking.

00:57:25.000 Imagine if...

00:57:26.000 Okay, I weigh 205 pounds.

00:57:29.000 If I had to put on a...

00:57:31.000 What did Ralphie weigh in his prime, if you had to guess?

00:57:34.000 I have no idea.

00:57:35.000 500 pounds?

00:57:36.000 If I had to put on 300 pounds.

00:57:38.000 And I'm in shape.

00:57:40.000 Imagine if I had to walk around the comedy store with a dumbbell on my back or a barbell on my back with 300 pounds on it.

00:57:50.000 I can make it like 30 steps and then have to put it down and take a break for like 5 minutes and then try to pick it up again and I'd be exhausted.

00:57:58.000 This dude's just walking around all day like that.

00:58:00.000 But if you're walking around that much, you're gonna lose a lot of weight too.

00:58:03.000 He almost lost that much weight.

00:58:05.000 That's what you lost?

00:58:06.000 Yeah.

00:58:07.000 He weighed almost 800 pounds.

00:58:09.000 Yo! 1.00

00:58:10.000 And just walking up the stairs at the belly room, he lost 300 pounds?

00:58:14.000 Just once.

00:58:14.000 One time.

00:58:15.000 One time?

00:58:16.000 That's crazy. 0.92

00:58:16.000 Why are we not having all the fat people walking? 0.92

00:58:18.000 Wow.

00:58:19.000 He used to weigh over 800 pounds.

00:58:21.000 He underwent gastric bypass surgery and lost 350 pounds, but he struggled with his weight.

00:58:25.000 He blew out his gastric bypass twice.

00:58:29.000 Yeah.

00:58:29.000 Well, the thing is, I mean, a lot of people that get those surgeries, if you're not figuring out the reason why you're overeating like that, it doesn't matter.

00:58:36.000 You can still gain the weight back if you eat small meals all day long.

00:58:39.000 I have friends that have gotten it, and you just eat small meals all day long, and you're just still gaining the weight back.

00:58:45.000 At least maintain your weight.

00:58:48.000 You can't keep as much in there at a time as a giant plate of food, but No, but if you eat little meals all day and graze, you'll gain the weight back.

00:58:56.000 I know people that have had that surgery and you're like, oh, you just gained a lot of your weight back.

00:59:00.000 Right, so they're not eating because they're hungry.

00:59:02.000 They're eating because they're crazy.

00:59:03.000 Well, they're eating, right.

00:59:04.000 It's like the same way people abuse anything, right?

00:59:07.000 Like if it's alcohol or sex or drugs, you know, it's the same thing, right?

00:59:10.000 You're trying to like numb out and fill a void.

00:59:12.000 So if you don't actually address that, you're not going to just stop eating.

00:59:16.000 So someone told me this.

00:59:18.000 Find out if this is true.

00:59:19.000 Does Bruno Mars owe the MGM a ton of money from gambling?

00:59:24.000 Is that true?

00:59:24.000 I've seen the story where someone claims they were there.

00:59:27.000 Yeah, I've talked to someone who would know who claims it's true, but isn't that crazy, if true, that even a guy like Bruno Mars, who's this super wealthy, super famous, super talented singer...

00:59:41.000 It doesn't mean you don't have issues, though.

00:59:43.000 Right, but the gambling one is a nutty one.

00:59:45.000 Well, my dad was a gambler.

00:59:46.000 How about MGM? He has no debt.

00:59:48.000 Because MGM probably made some sort of a deal.

00:59:51.000 Right.

00:59:52.000 Because doesn't he have some sort of...

00:59:53.000 He has no debt with MGM. Wink, wink.

00:59:56.000 So they have a deal.

00:59:57.000 So they have some sort of a...

01:00:01.000 He has a residency there, right?

01:00:03.000 I think so.

01:00:05.000 The word is.

01:00:06.000 Right.

01:00:07.000 I don't know if he's got a gambling problem.

01:00:09.000 My dad was a gambler, and he made no money.

01:00:11.000 It's the craziest thing to be a gambler when you have no real money.

01:00:15.000 Oh, it's a crazy one.

01:00:16.000 It's a crazy addiction.

01:00:18.000 It's an addiction that I first saw when I started hanging out in pool halls when I was 23. I became addicted to playing pool.

01:00:26.000 I was playing it all the time.

01:00:28.000 I blew my knee out.

01:00:29.000 I needed to get knee surgery.

01:00:31.000 And when I blew my knee out, I couldn't work out.

01:00:35.000 So I had to wait for surgery. 0.90

01:00:36.000 And so, like, my ACL was all fucked up. 0.76

01:00:39.000 And so I just started playing pool with one of my friends, and I became addicted to playing pool.

01:00:42.000 And I would go there all the time.

01:00:43.000 Because as a comedian, I didn't have a job.

01:00:45.000 I just would go on stage at night, and during the daytime, I'd hang out in pool halls.

01:00:49.000 And at nighttime, I'd hang out in pool halls.

01:00:50.000 And I'd just...

01:00:51.000 Got around these people that I've never known anybody like that before.

01:00:55.000 Just fully addicted to gambling all day long.

01:00:59.000 They would go to the racetrack.

01:01:00.000 They would go to off-track betting.

01:01:02.000 My dad used to take me to OTB as a kid.

01:01:04.000 That's brutal.

01:01:05.000 And that's when they used to let you smoke.

01:01:07.000 You just come home smelling like smoke. 0.61

01:01:09.000 It's disgusting. 0.99

01:01:09.000 And you're hanging out in there as a kid. 0.99

01:01:10.000 Me and my sister, we would hang out with my dad in the OTB for hours.

01:01:14.000 I feel like such a good dad.

01:01:15.000 Yeah.

01:01:16.000 You're a way better dad.

01:01:18.000 It wouldn't be bad if my dad was gambling and he was like, you know, he was a mailman.

01:01:21.000 You can't do both of those things at the same time.

01:01:25.000 Yeah.

01:01:26.000 It's a crazy one.

01:01:29.000 Who was it that told us that the dad was gambling so hard they lost their house? 0.99

01:01:37.000 Fuck, I forgot the whole story, but it's just... 0.99

01:01:40.000 You don't hear a story very rarely about a gambling addict who kills it and they retire in Vegas. 1.00

01:01:47.000 No, because you keep going until you eventually lose everything.

01:01:51.000 Yeah, it's a dark one.

01:01:52.000 Did you see Uncut Gems?

01:01:54.000 No.

01:01:55.000 You should see it.

01:01:55.000 Well, it might be too close to home.

01:01:57.000 It doesn't matter.

01:01:59.000 It's Adam Sandler, I think, his best movie ever.

01:02:01.000 And it wasn't even a comedy at all.

01:02:03.000 It's a drama. 1.00

01:02:04.000 He fucking kills in it, too. 1.00

01:02:06.000 It's so good. 1.00

01:02:06.000 I have heard other people say that. 1.00

01:02:08.000 It's so good.

01:02:09.000 I gotta watch it.

01:02:09.000 But it's, for me, like, having known those people, and it's so filled with anxiety.

01:02:15.000 Because it's a sports betting thing.

01:02:18.000 Sports bettors are the craziest ones.

01:02:19.000 Because there's so many different ways to bet.

01:02:21.000 You can bet the spread.

01:02:22.000 You can bet parlays.

01:02:23.000 You can do all...

01:02:24.000 My dad, for a while, my dad was like taking money from his pension, which like, yeah.

01:02:29.000 So when he died, there was like really not that much money.

01:02:31.000 My mom was forcing him to go to Gamblers Anonymous while he was also still gambling.

01:02:36.000 It's not going to help.

01:02:37.000 If you don't really want to stop, you're not going to stop.

01:02:41.000 I think food is the hardest one.

01:02:44.000 Because food addiction, you always have to eat food, right?

01:02:48.000 Right.

01:02:48.000 All the other ones, you can kind of just not do them anymore.

01:02:51.000 That's why I stopped eating sugar.

01:02:52.000 Because once I start eating it, I can't stop.

01:02:54.000 Right.

01:02:54.000 So then once it's like out of your system, you don't crave it anymore.

01:02:57.000 Right.

01:02:57.000 Well, that's because your gut bacteria changes.

01:02:59.000 That makes sense.

01:03:00.000 Yeah.

01:03:01.000 What is it?

01:03:01.000 Candida?

01:03:02.000 Is that what it is?

01:03:03.000 There's a specific type of gut flora that consumes sugar and it thrives on sugar.

01:03:10.000 And with people that eat a lot of sugar, it's very prominent in their gut bacteria.

01:03:15.000 And it literally changes your brain.

01:03:18.000 It changes your chemistry.

01:03:19.000 It changes your mood.

01:03:20.000 Doesn't sugar also just like a breeding ground for cancer, like when you have cancer?

01:03:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:24.000 One of the things they tell you if you get cancer, stop all sugar, get on a ketogenic diet.

01:03:28.000 So get your body to eat high fats.

01:03:31.000 Yeah, eat a lot of macadamia nuts and things you get a lot of fat from.

01:03:36.000 And just that's, your body starts burning fat, which you feel so much better when you live like that.

01:03:41.000 Your brain works better.

01:03:43.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.97

01:03:44.000 You're just like in a brain fog.

01:03:45.000 Yeah, for sure for me.

01:03:47.000 I mean, you know, I'm Italian, so I grew up eating pasta and bread and pizza.

01:03:52.000 It was like common.

01:03:53.000 And when I stopped doing it, when I went like on a carnivore diet, the first thing that I thought that was really bizarre was I wasn't hungry during the day.

01:04:02.000 I never got this famished starvation feeling.

01:04:06.000 Isn't it like if you're eating stuff that's high in carbohydrates like that, doesn't your blood sugar drop really quickly and stuff?

01:04:13.000 Yeah, it spikes when you eat it.

01:04:15.000 Or spikes.

01:04:15.000 It's insulin.

01:04:16.000 Your body produces a ton of insulin.

01:04:19.000 You want your body to run on ketones.

01:04:22.000 If your body runs on ketones, it works better.

01:04:25.000 One of the things that I noticed almost immediately was when I came in to do podcasts, I was much better at it.

01:04:31.000 My brain, just from a performance enhancing perspective, my brain functions better.

01:04:38.000 I can form sentences better.

01:04:40.000 If I was eating a lot of sugar, you almost get that same hungover feeling as if you drink.

01:04:45.000 I've had that where if you binge eat sugar and then the next day you're like, oh my god, I feel so hungover.

01:04:51.000 It's similar.

01:04:52.000 It's similar.

01:04:53.000 It's not as extreme because you're probably not dehydrated too.

01:04:57.000 But yeah, your body's like, what are you doing to me, man?

01:05:00.000 It's not good.

01:05:01.000 It's not good.

01:05:02.000 Not at all.

01:05:02.000 But it's so delicious.

01:05:04.000 It is, sure. 0.97

01:05:05.000 Cake is so fucking good while you're eating it. 0.93

01:05:07.000 I know. 0.99

01:05:08.000 While you're eating it, you're like, God, this is so good.

01:05:09.000 That's how my dad felt gambling on the horses.

01:05:12.000 He's like, this feels so good.

01:05:15.000 So they would send us to Catholic school, and he would not pay tuition, and then they would call me in to talk to me, and I'd have to go talk to my dad.

01:05:24.000 And he was gambling the money away?

01:05:25.000 Yeah, my dad was always gambling.

01:05:29.000 I think people need some excitement in their life, you know?

01:05:33.000 Sure.

01:05:34.000 And it's like, why are you doing that?

01:05:35.000 What are you trying to numb out?

01:05:37.000 Because God knows what he was...

01:05:38.000 You know what I mean?

01:05:39.000 Like, everyone's kind of trying to fix their problems from their childhood or they're not.

01:05:43.000 There's that.

01:05:44.000 But I think with gambling, it's also...

01:05:46.000 The thrill.

01:05:47.000 It's excitement.

01:05:47.000 Yes.

01:05:48.000 And you get addicted to just having a purpose and having excitement.

01:05:51.000 Your purpose is to figure out when the Knicks are going to win by 17 points.

01:05:55.000 Sure.

01:05:56.000 And if they win, you win.

01:05:58.000 And then, yes!

01:05:59.000 Yes!

01:05:59.000 I'm alive!

01:06:00.000 It, like, spikes you.

01:06:01.000 You're just, like, that feeling of, like, winning and then that feeling of losing.

01:06:04.000 Well, that's the craziest thing about the Adam Sandler movie.

01:06:06.000 There's a moment in it, spoiler alert, where he does make this big win.

01:06:10.000 And so with this big win, he's gonna be able to pay all these people off.

01:06:12.000 They're trying to kill him.

01:06:13.000 And he immediately doubles down and puts it on another...

01:06:16.000 And you're like, what? 0.99

01:06:17.000 What the fuck are you doing? 0.99

01:06:18.000 Because that's the thing. 1.00

01:06:20.000 You're chasing that high constantly.

01:06:22.000 I had a friend who's a huge gambler and he lost so much money and no matter how much he gambles, if he's up $15,000, he's still chasing that $8 million loss.

01:06:30.000 So it doesn't matter.

01:06:32.000 He's constantly chasing that big loss and no matter how much he wins, he's like, yeah, but I still lost all that other money, so I'm going to keep chasing this.

01:06:41.000 My good friend Dana White is a gambling addict.

01:06:44.000 And also, if you're super rich, you just have more to lose.

01:06:47.000 Oh, yeah.

01:06:47.000 He goes hard.

01:06:49.000 We went to visit him at Green Valley.

01:06:51.000 Was it Green?

01:06:52.000 No.

01:06:53.000 River?

01:06:53.000 Red Rocks?

01:06:54.000 Red Rocks.

01:06:55.000 We went to visit him at Red Rocks.

01:06:56.000 Jamie and I went.

01:06:57.000 And when we got there, he was $600,000 down.

01:07:00.000 When we got there.

01:07:01.000 That's crazy.

01:07:02.000 Playing blackjack.

01:07:03.000 But at the end of the night, he stayed till like 6 in the morning.

01:07:05.000 He was $600,000 up.

01:07:07.000 So he won that money back, and then he got him for $600,000.

01:07:10.000 Yeah.

01:07:12.000 That's crazy.

01:07:13.000 He's there all the time!

01:07:14.000 He loves it!

01:07:16.000 But he's worth, I don't know what he's worth, hundreds of millions of dollars.

01:07:20.000 Right.

01:07:20.000 He can get away with that.

01:07:21.000 Sure.

01:07:22.000 Not my dad who's making 40 grand a year.

01:07:24.000 But it's nutty that even a wealthy guy, you would think, you're that wealthy, why would you want to gamble?

01:07:30.000 It's just the feeling.

01:07:31.000 There's nothing that replicates that feeling that you get when you're winning or losing.

01:07:36.000 Yeah.

01:07:36.000 It's a real drug.

01:07:37.000 For sure.

01:07:38.000 And it's a weird one.

01:07:39.000 It's really weird.

01:07:40.000 It hijacks your human reward system that's built to solve problems and overcome adversaries and conquer and get conquered.

01:07:50.000 It's hijacking that little part of your brain.

01:07:54.000 I kind of want to gamble.

01:07:55.000 Right now, right?

01:07:56.000 Right now. 0.99

01:07:56.000 Let's just fucking go. 0.99

01:07:57.000 If you were a gambler, what do you think your game would be? 0.99

01:08:01.000 Whenever I do it, it's just like slots.

01:08:03.000 Really? 1.00

01:08:04.000 That's the dumbest one. 0.99

01:08:05.000 I know, because I don't really know how to play blackjack or anything. 0.99

01:08:07.000 So I'm just like...

01:08:08.000 I'm going to lose all my money.

01:08:14.000 Well, you want to learn, though?

01:08:15.000 I would like to learn, yeah.

01:08:17.000 I did learn blackjack a little bit.

01:08:18.000 My friend was teaching me.

01:08:19.000 I think I could learn blackjack craps.

01:08:22.000 I'm like, you might as well be trying to teach me how to read, you know, ancient Hebrew.

01:08:26.000 The weird one to me is, like, someone who puts all the money on the red or black.

01:08:29.000 Oh, roulette?

01:08:30.000 Yeah.

01:08:30.000 That's a nutty one.

01:08:31.000 It is, because don't you have to get the number?

01:08:34.000 How do you even bet on that?

01:08:36.000 It's such a chance.

01:08:37.000 I think there's a bunch of different ways you can bet.

01:08:39.000 I think you can bet red or black.

01:08:41.000 You can bet specific numbers.

01:08:43.000 I think there's a bunch of different ways, but if you wanted to bet at all, red or black, I think you can. 0.89

01:08:48.000 I know that.

01:08:48.000 I think you can bet like 100 grand on one roll.

01:08:51.000 I think it's going to come out red.

01:08:52.000 I don't know.

01:08:53.000 I just imagine like the feeling you get putting, say you put a hundred grand down and then you lose and you're like, no!

01:09:01.000 That's my children's tuition.

01:09:03.000 There goes our house.

01:09:05.000 But that thing addicts people. 1.00

01:09:07.000 I mean, that's the argument why casinos shouldn't be everywhere because people would just, everywhere they would be falling into gambling addiction.

01:09:14.000 For the most, I mean, casinos, like there's one in Yonkers in New York.

01:09:18.000 It's so depressing.

01:09:18.000 It's just all old people that are there on disability just sitting there and they're doing that thing.

01:09:22.000 The slots.

01:09:23.000 The slots and you're smoking.

01:09:25.000 Just having something exciting.

01:09:26.000 I know.

01:09:27.000 Just waiting to die.

01:09:28.000 It's very sad. 1.00

01:09:28.000 You're waiting to die. 1.00

01:09:31.000 It's a dark thing that you just sit these people in front of those things and just they press buttons.

01:09:36.000 And all the lights are going on so the little brain is getting activated.

01:09:39.000 Ding, ding, [...

01:09:41.000 My mother told me that my grandmother was like a big gambler and she also didn't have money. 1.00

01:09:45.000 It's crazy when people were poor are gambling.

01:09:48.000 And she would lose the money all the time, like the rent money.

01:09:51.000 My grandfather used to hit her.

01:09:52.000 Oh, God.

01:09:53.000 I know.

01:09:53.000 And I was like, I guess he didn't hit her hard enough to learn.

01:09:57.000 Because she kept doing it.

01:09:58.000 It didn't work.

01:10:00.000 She just kept doing it.

01:10:01.000 My grandmother used to run the numbers for the mob. 0.79

01:10:05.000 Interesting.

01:10:05.000 Yeah, she actually went to jail.

01:10:07.000 She went to jail for like six months.

01:10:08.000 You really are Italian.

01:10:10.000 I didn't even know you were Italian.

01:10:11.000 Yeah.

01:10:12.000 Yeah, my grandmother, she was addicted to the numbers, and she would always talk about the numbers.

01:10:17.000 Like, I was gonna bet this, that, and that, but this one came through, and I changed my mind.

01:10:22.000 She was always like, changed her mind at the last minute.

01:10:24.000 That's gotta be the whole time, where you're just like, should I do this number, or should I do that number?

01:10:27.000 Most conversations I had with her were about either ghosts, psychics, or the numbers.

01:10:34.000 I mean, do psychics work?

01:10:35.000 Because wouldn't you think they could predict the numbers?

01:10:39.000 Yeah, I think psychic phenomenon is an emerging property of human consciousness that's not quite there yet.

01:10:48.000 I think that language didn't develop overnight.

01:10:50.000 I think eyesight didn't develop overnight.

01:10:53.000 And I think psychic connection between human beings is a real thing that nobody...

01:11:00.000 I think some people are better at it.

01:11:03.000 They have more of a gene for it or more of a...

01:11:07.000 It could be like a biochemistry thing.

01:11:09.000 It could be a psychology thing.

01:11:11.000 There's something that you connect to sometimes where you know something.

01:11:16.000 Right.

01:11:17.000 But you don't know why you know it.

01:11:19.000 When you know someone's going to call and you're thinking about someone and they call you.

01:11:23.000 I think that's real.

01:11:24.000 I think it's just not...

01:11:25.000 You can't put it on a scale.

01:11:27.000 I think the problem is it's too ethereal.

01:11:29.000 It's like too ephemeral rather.

01:11:31.000 It's too...

01:11:32.000 It's not quite there yet, but I think it's an emerging thing that's happening.

01:11:37.000 Would you want to know the day you're gonna die if you could find out?

01:11:39.000 No.

01:11:40.000 Would you want to know how you're gonna die?

01:11:42.000 No.

01:11:43.000 I'm interested in while I'm alive, just living.

01:11:46.000 I would like to know the day.

01:11:48.000 I wouldn't want to know.

01:11:49.000 I don't want to know.

01:11:50.000 Because then I would just take a lot more chances.

01:11:52.000 You'd be freaking out the last few days.

01:11:53.000 Sure, but I would probably do a lot of stuff now if I knew I was going to die at 70 or 80. Well, you probably are going to die at 70 or 80. Yeah, but you don't know for sure.

01:12:03.000 Well, technology could come along and extend that quite a bit.

01:12:06.000 Because then I would try and see if I could die before.

01:12:08.000 Just run across the highway.

01:12:10.000 Really?

01:12:11.000 Just beat the system?

01:12:13.000 See if I could beat the system.

01:12:14.000 You could always jump off a bridge.

01:12:15.000 Imagine that.

01:12:16.000 George Washington Bridge, if I was going to do it, that's the bridge to go off of.

01:12:20.000 Do people do that?

01:12:21.000 I'm sure they do.

01:12:23.000 But you've got to do it when it screws enough people like Labor Day weekend or something.

01:12:27.000 Just hold that traffic up.

01:12:28.000 I had a friend who jumped off the Golden Gate.

01:12:30.000 I guess he died.

01:12:31.000 He did.

01:12:32.000 Do you ever see that documentary about the people that live?

01:12:34.000 No, I haven't seen it, but I've heard of it.

01:12:36.000 I know about it.

01:12:36.000 It's interesting because some of the people that lived are like, as soon as you jump, you regret it.

01:12:40.000 Yeah, of course.

01:12:41.000 It's like your body's freaking out.

01:12:43.000 It's like, oh my god.

01:12:44.000 You have three seconds to think about life before you plummet 75 miles an hour into the ocean.

01:12:50.000 They always stop traffic, too, on the bridge.

01:12:52.000 Which is weird.

01:12:53.000 Right, because you're like, they're already dead.

01:12:54.000 Pop out of the water and land in the middle of the road.

01:12:56.000 Just go on the ground and look for them.

01:12:57.000 What are we doing up here?

01:12:58.000 Why can't I go over the bridge?

01:13:01.000 Why are you stopping traffic on the bridge?

01:13:01.000 I guess it's to make sure that nobody pushed them.

01:13:05.000 Look for evidence of fingernails clawing at the poles.

01:13:08.000 Sure, but the highway is fine, though.

01:13:12.000 I agree.

01:13:13.000 Just look on the edges.

01:13:14.000 I think whenever they get a chance to shut things down, they like it.

01:13:17.000 One time I got hit by a car, a drunk driver, and they shut the highway down.

01:13:21.000 All the cars are there and you kind of just are like, it's amazing.

01:13:25.000 This is all from me.

01:13:26.000 We did this. 1.00

01:13:27.000 Yeah, fuck you. 1.00

01:13:28.000 It's kind of weird. 1.00

01:13:29.000 You guys aren't picking your kids up.

01:13:31.000 Yeah, sorry.

01:13:31.000 Because this drunk driver decided to hit me.

01:13:33.000 Oh, guess we're going to shit your pants. 1.00

01:13:35.000 Sorry. 0.99

01:13:36.000 Not going to make it home in time.

01:13:38.000 That's true. 1.00

01:13:39.000 Fuck yeah, it's true. 1.00

01:13:40.000 I had a drunk driver hit my car and then asked me if I would help them push their car off the highway. 1.00

01:13:45.000 Oh, that's adorable.

01:13:46.000 Yeah, he was so wrecked.

01:13:47.000 How drunk was he?

01:13:48.000 I don't know.

01:13:49.000 He went away in handcuffs, but he had an Audi, and it wasn't even his car.

01:13:54.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:13:55.000 He was undocumented.

01:13:56.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:13:58.000 I don't even know if he...

01:13:58.000 Did he have a license?

01:13:59.000 I don't know, but it was crazy, the whole situation.

01:14:02.000 He was like, hey, can you push me off the highway?

01:14:03.000 I was like, probably not. 0.99

01:14:05.000 Goddamn, dude. 0.99

01:14:06.000 That's how people die, too. 1.00

01:14:07.000 A buddy of mine from high school died that way.

01:14:09.000 He was changing his tire side of a highway.

01:14:11.000 That's crazy.

01:14:12.000 Yeah.

01:14:13.000 It's so dangerous. 0.99

01:14:14.000 People don't fucking pay attention. 0.99

01:14:16.000 They don't, especially if it's late at night. 0.99

01:14:18.000 Well, especially now.

01:14:19.000 This was many years ago before cell phones when this kid died.

01:14:23.000 But this, like, now? 0.92

01:14:24.000 The odds are, like, when I see people on motorcycles, I'm like, Goddamn, that's so risky.

01:14:29.000 It's very risky.

01:14:30.000 So few people are paying attention.

01:14:32.000 I see people texting all the time.

01:14:34.000 Everyone is texting all the time.

01:14:35.000 I would rather drive with drunk drivers than people texting and driving.

01:14:38.000 Because they're always all over the road.

01:14:40.000 All over the road.

01:14:41.000 And not only that, the amount of space you cover.

01:14:44.000 While you look down at your phone for a couple of seconds and type in a word, the amount of space you cover if you're going 60 miles an hour is really crazy.

01:14:52.000 Of course.

01:14:52.000 And then you're also not paying attention to the other people who are texting and driving.

01:14:56.000 Exactly.

01:14:57.000 It really is just like...

01:14:58.000 Chaos.

01:14:59.000 Maybe I'll get home, maybe I won't.

01:15:01.000 Why don't we all have bumper cars?

01:15:02.000 Let me ask you that.

01:15:05.000 Wouldn't it be better if everybody had a big rubber thing all around the outside of the car so we could just kind of bounce off of each other?

01:15:11.000 Probably.

01:15:12.000 That would be a good idea. 0.59

01:15:12.000 But then you also need people to die because we're just too overpopulated. 0.59

01:15:16.000 That's where fentanyl comes in.

01:15:18.000 Exactly.

01:15:19.000 Give everyone fentanyl.

01:15:24.000 Like, if you were going to fix the homeless problem and you weren't going to use fentanyl, what would you do?

01:15:29.000 I'm giving them fentanyl.

01:15:30.000 Because it's like a nice way to go out.

01:15:32.000 Right.

01:15:32.000 It's quick.

01:15:33.000 It is quick.

01:15:33.000 And you're so happy, and then you're dead.

01:15:35.000 They have Narcan everywhere, though.

01:15:37.000 They just bring people back to life.

01:15:38.000 But the thing is, it's like...

01:15:39.000 I never see Narcan anywhere.

01:15:41.000 If you weren't going to, like for real, if you were just objective, you weren't looking at this in terms of what's the kind thing to do, and you wanted to clean up the homeless situation.

01:15:52.000 Well, you have to spend a lot of money on mental health.

01:15:55.000 Right.

01:15:55.000 You know, you have to, like, care about the veterans.

01:15:57.000 Like, I have a whole joke about this on my special about how, like, we don't really care about veterans. 0.93

01:16:01.000 And I've dated a lot of them, a lot of veterans that, like, come back and they're so screwed up. 0.85

01:16:06.000 Yeah.

01:16:06.000 And we're not, like, actually helping them.

01:16:09.000 No. 0.94

01:16:09.000 And a lot of them end up on the street and they're crazy. 0.94

01:16:11.000 But they need, like, a lot of, you know, like, mental health and they have to, you have to, like, kind of figure out how to go back into society.

01:16:19.000 Oh, yeah.

01:16:20.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:16:20.000 I've dated several veterans and they're crazy, understandably. 0.98

01:16:24.000 Understandably. 0.74

01:16:25.000 You can't go to war for eight years and then come back and work at Target.

01:16:28.000 It's just not a way that that happens.

01:16:30.000 Right.

01:16:31.000 So you would have to be willing to help veterans.

01:16:33.000 You'd have to spend money on mental health.

01:16:35.000 But the problem is doing those things doesn't really yield a lot of money.

01:16:39.000 So people don't want to waste their money into it. 0.97

01:16:41.000 That's what's fucked up. 0.99

01:16:42.000 Right. 0.99

01:16:43.000 They do whatever they can get away with.

01:16:44.000 And if they can get away with using the veterans and not paying for them to be better, they just do.

01:16:50.000 Also, everyone's like, well, they can go to a VA hospital.

01:16:53.000 It's like, I've seen how hard it is to get services from there, and that's a person that's not really crazy and messed up from war.

01:16:59.000 Right.

01:16:59.000 So it's like you're making it so hard for these people that go and serve the country.

01:17:03.000 I know.

01:17:05.000 I talked to J.D. Vance about this.

01:17:07.000 Talked to him about psychedelics.

01:17:09.000 What did he say?

01:17:10.000 Well, he wasn't aware of it, honestly.

01:17:12.000 And so he was interested in it.

01:17:14.000 And hopefully, now that he's actually the vice president, I could connect him with some people that could perhaps show him some things and explain to him all the different ways that they've figured out, especially in other countries like in Mexico, to help veterans.

01:17:30.000 Ibogaine's a big one.

01:17:32.000 Ibogaine, psilocybin, ayahuasca, all these different psychedelics have shown to have remarkable effects.

01:17:38.000 Even for depression, I think people take it.

01:17:40.000 They microdose.

01:17:41.000 Yep.

01:17:42.000 Well, not just microdose.

01:17:43.000 The Ibogaine one, I've never done that, but what I understand, it's almost like a 24-hour experience that shows you like a movie of your life.

01:17:58.000 I don't want to see that.

01:17:59.000 Well, it shows you apparently, and this is just me hearing what other people have told me, but it explains to you why you have these problems and shows to you what developed, where the issue started.

01:18:12.000 And by seeing that, you could figure it out.

01:18:16.000 You go, oh, okay.

01:18:17.000 Well, I won't do that anymore.

01:18:19.000 Now I get it.

01:18:19.000 Now I get what this hole I've been trying to fill is.

01:18:22.000 I don't need to fill the hole anymore.

01:18:25.000 But that's the thing.

01:18:25.000 I feel like I know what was probably wrong in my childhood.

01:18:28.000 I know that, but it doesn't fix me.

01:18:31.000 Right, it's different.

01:18:32.000 It's not just knowing it, it's like seeing it at almost like a subatomic level.

01:18:40.000 Like seeing the process, seeing what's going on inside of you and recognize that this is a very bad path to follow.

01:18:48.000 Not just knowing it and still doing it, not just like not being able to get out of a habit, not being able to get out of a pattern of behavior.

01:18:55.000 But to see, like, the source of it, the path, where it takes you, and the right way to go.

01:19:02.000 And to see it laid out, where you go, oh, I could just do this, and just, like, let that go, and move on, and be a better person, be a healthier person, be happier.

01:19:10.000 Yeah.

01:19:11.000 And so many people that I know have done that.

01:19:12.000 They've stopped drinking.

01:19:13.000 Yeah.

01:19:16.000 Opioids.

01:19:16.000 Opioids is a big one.

01:19:18.000 It's a big one that it helps.

01:19:20.000 Ibogaine does.

01:19:20.000 And Ibogaine is like completely non-addictive.

01:19:23.000 Apparently it's a terrible experience and nobody wants to do it again.

01:19:27.000 Ibogaine?

01:19:27.000 Yeah, you do it.

01:19:28.000 What is it?

01:19:28.000 It's from the iboga tree, which is an African tree that...

01:19:33.000 It's a very bizarre, I don't know what category of psychedelic it's in, but it's not technically, it's not like psilocybin, which is mushrooms.

01:19:44.000 It's not like dimethyltryptamine, which is ayahuasca.

01:19:47.000 It's something completely different, some different pathway, but particularly effective.

01:19:52.000 Again, I've never tried it, but everybody I've talked to that has, particularly effective in curing addictions.

01:19:58.000 Interesting.

01:19:58.000 I've never heard of that.

01:20:00.000 Yeah, I know quite a few guys.

01:20:02.000 My friend Ed Clay, he actually opened up a place in Mexico because he hurt his back.

01:20:06.000 He's a jiu-jitsu guy. 0.99

01:20:08.000 A lot of jiu-jitsu guys fuck their backs up. 1.00

01:20:10.000 Like, my back's all fucked up. 1.00

01:20:10.000 And then they probably get hooked on, like, opiates and shit. 1.00

01:20:12.000 Yeah, you get an operation or you get a pill. 0.99

01:20:15.000 You know, you need some pain pills because you literally can't tie your shoes because your fucking back is flared up. 0.98

01:20:20.000 And the next thing you know, you're hooked. 0.99

01:20:22.000 And thanks to the Sackler family.

01:20:24.000 Those sweeties. 1.00

01:20:26.000 They made so much money, though. 1.00

01:20:27.000 Those fucking monsters. 1.00

01:20:29.000 We were just talking the other day about they started the Valium thing too. 1.00

01:20:32.000 They were responsible for the Valium thing in the 1970s.

01:20:36.000 Same family. 0.92

01:20:37.000 It's a family of demons.

01:20:39.000 Sure. 1.00

01:20:40.000 Just fucking monsters. 1.00

01:20:41.000 And no one's in jail. 1.00

01:20:44.000 I watched a documentary.

01:20:46.000 I guess it was about the Sackler family.

01:20:47.000 Was it the Netflix one?

01:20:48.000 I don't know.

01:20:49.000 There was a couple.

01:20:50.000 There was one on, I think, Hulu, and then there was one also on Netflix.

01:20:53.000 Yeah, there was Dope Sick.

01:20:55.000 I watched Dope Sick.

01:20:56.000 That was very good.

01:20:56.000 What was the Netflix one called, Jamie?

01:20:58.000 Painkiller?

01:21:00.000 Is that what it's called?

01:21:02.000 That's the Peter Berg one.

01:21:04.000 Peter Berg came in and explained it all to us and talked about the documentary. 0.98

01:21:07.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

01:21:09.000 It's so good because it's like they're such demons. 0.99

01:21:12.000 And just to know that people like that exist and walk amongst us, that's it. 0.97

01:21:17.000 Well, listen, speaking of Netflix, go watch- Matthew Broderick fucking kills it in that, too. 0.95

01:21:21.000 Go watch my Netflix special. 0.98

01:21:23.000 Yes.

01:21:23.000 The Dark Queen.

01:21:24.000 The Netflix special.

01:21:25.000 Tell her.

01:21:26.000 Where'd you film it?

01:21:26.000 We filmed it at the Cellar.

01:21:28.000 Oh, nice.

01:21:28.000 Nice.

01:21:29.000 That must be good for you, right?

01:21:30.000 Comfortable?

01:21:31.000 Yeah, just because I'm used to it.

01:21:32.000 But I gotta tell you, your club is amazing.

01:21:34.000 I love it.

01:21:35.000 Thank you.

01:21:35.000 I would definitely film something.

01:21:36.000 Well, we love you too.

01:21:37.000 Yeah, I would definitely film my next one there.

01:21:39.000 Everyone's been trying to get you to move here.

01:21:41.000 I'm gonna be moving here. 1.00

01:21:42.000 Oh, shit! 0.98

01:21:43.000 I'm gonna come here probably like a little bit in December and then I'm going to LA to promote the Dark Queen and then I'll be here in January. 1.00

01:21:50.000 Oh, shit! 0.98

01:21:51.000 I know. 1.00

01:21:51.000 Nice. 1.00

01:21:52.000 And I'll be seeing Marshall all the time.

01:21:54.000 So the last time I talked to you about this was in the bar at Mitzi's, you, me, and Bridget.

01:21:57.000 That's right.

01:21:58.000 Ari's been like... 0.95

01:21:59.000 Do we push over the top?

01:22:00.000 Well, Ari was like, said the meanest thing to me. 1.00

01:22:03.000 Wanna see the text that Ari sent me?

01:22:04.000 Sure, yeah.

01:22:05.000 He sent me a text like, Adrian's coming to Austin, convinced her to move there.

01:22:09.000 He's telling everyone that.

01:22:10.000 He goes, well, fine, just be a feature the rest of your life.

01:22:14.000 I was like, alright, Ari, I get it.

01:22:18.000 I'll find it. 1.00

01:22:21.000 Fuck, there's too many. 1.00

01:22:22.000 There's too many goddamn messages. 1.00

01:22:24.000 But Ari's excited for the special. 0.99

01:22:27.000 He's like, I think everyone's going to be really upset.

01:22:28.000 I was like, I hope so.

01:22:30.000 Listen, I want people to like it, but I also know that it's trigger topics that people are going to be upset by.

01:22:36.000 Of course, but that's your specialty.

01:22:38.000 I know.

01:22:39.000 You like doing that.

01:22:41.000 But that's the thing.

01:22:41.000 I think people think I'm trying to be dark.

01:22:44.000 It's just kind of who I am.

01:22:46.000 Well, you joke around like that offstage as well.

01:22:49.000 Right.

01:22:50.000 Yeah.

01:22:50.000 And I think nothing of saying it.

01:22:52.000 Well, if you were raised by a guy who took you to a smoke-filled off-track bedding when you were a little girl, when little girls want to go to the park and hang with their friends, and instead you're around a bunch of fucking gamblers and degenerates. 0.99

01:23:04.000 I mean, yeah. 1.00

01:23:05.000 My uncle was a hell's angel. 0.99

01:23:08.000 Everyone's crazy in my family. 0.97

01:23:09.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:23:10.000 It's the way you make fun.

01:23:13.000 Yeah, and I had a friend in grammar school that killed himself and we all went to the funeral and then went out after and all of our sense of humor is so dark.

01:23:19.000 And you're like, oh, that's also where I got it.

01:23:22.000 Where was this?

01:23:23.000 In the Bronx.

01:23:24.000 The Bronx, yeah. 0.97

01:23:25.000 Well, the Bronx is, that's a high sense of humor type of place because there's just so much fucked up things going on. 0.96

01:23:30.000 Right, and everyone's like kind of poor. 0.88

01:23:32.000 Yeah, and they have the darkest senses of humor because they've experienced the most.

01:23:37.000 My mom also has a dark sense of humor. 1.00

01:23:39.000 Really?

01:23:39.000 Yeah.

01:23:40.000 So, like, it's just that's kind of passed down, I think. 0.98

01:23:44.000 Well, I think your mom probably experienced a lot of fucked up things, too, obviously. 0.96

01:23:47.000 And she was married to your dad, so that helps. 0.99

01:23:50.000 She's married to my dad. 1.00

01:23:51.000 Cops have the most fucked up sense of humor. 1.00

01:23:53.000 Joke around with cops. 1.00

01:23:54.000 Once they get comfortable with you.

01:23:56.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:23:57.000 If they see the worst shit. 1.00

01:23:59.000 All day long. 1.00

01:24:00.000 Of course. 1.00

01:24:01.000 Yeah, they have the most fucked up sense of humor. 0.99

01:24:04.000 So do firemen. 1.00

01:24:05.000 100%.

01:24:05.000 Yep.

01:24:06.000 Anyone that has like a high...

01:24:08.000 EMTs.

01:24:08.000 Anyone that has a high...

01:24:09.000 What is it?

01:24:10.000 PTSD. PTSD. Yeah.

01:24:11.000 And I date a lot of guys with PTSD. That's your thing?

01:24:14.000 And then I just give them more.

01:24:16.000 It's a cycle of PTSD. All should be hospitalized and institutionalized.

01:24:21.000 Do you meet guys after shows?

01:24:22.000 Like, how do you meet them?

01:24:23.000 Like, they kind of have to know what you do before they see you.

01:24:26.000 Otherwise, they're going to go, oh, Jesus Christ.

01:24:29.000 I mean, I've had people like that.

01:24:31.000 I think the tour preparing for the special was hard because it was just people coming out that didn't know my sense of humor.

01:24:36.000 And if you don't know that and you're taking a chance on me, I'm not like that person to take a chance on.

01:24:41.000 Right.

01:24:42.000 Or I think sometimes they're like supporting a woman and I'm like, I'm not the right woman to take a chance on and support.

01:24:47.000 That's okay.

01:24:49.000 You're just not going to be happy.

01:24:51.000 He'd be so mad at you.

01:24:53.000 I've had people walk out.

01:24:54.000 I did that military joke in Texas, and like 20 cowboys just walked out.

01:25:00.000 And I wasn't even saying anything bad about the military.

01:25:02.000 I'm like, we just don't care.

01:25:04.000 We don't care about them. 0.99

01:25:05.000 Some people are just dumb, and they see it as they're, this is my chance to make a protest. 0.99

01:25:09.000 Let me just get up right now. 0.99

01:25:11.000 But they hung in so long through the show where it was like...

01:25:14.000 That one was it?

01:25:15.000 Yeah, it was probably 50 minutes in.

01:25:17.000 Did you crack jokes about Jesus at all?

01:25:20.000 Sure.

01:25:20.000 And they were fine with that?

01:25:22.000 Maybe they were on the edge.

01:25:23.000 They didn't walk.

01:25:23.000 Maybe Jesus put them to the edge of their sheet.

01:25:26.000 It's interesting because both sides have woke things they're upset about.

01:25:29.000 Oh yeah.

01:25:30.000 You know?

01:25:30.000 I woke people about Ukraine, the Middle East.

01:25:32.000 I was doing jokes about the Middle East and this lady was like, next! 1.00

01:25:38.000 I used to have this joke about the Second Coming Project.

01:25:41.000 Do you know what the Second Coming Project was?

01:25:43.000 No.

01:25:44.000 It was a thing that they were trying to do.

01:25:46.000 Remember when Dolly the Sheep, when they first cloned Dolly the Sheep?

01:25:49.000 Yes.

01:25:49.000 Well, the idea was that they would take genetic material from the Shroud of Turin and they would clone Jesus.

01:25:56.000 Great.

01:25:56.000 Do it.

01:25:57.000 And my joke was, well, cloning is not an exact science.

01:26:00.000 Like, if you want to do it now, like, they had to do, like, 20 dollies before they got one dolly.

01:26:05.000 Like, before it was real. 0.99

01:26:06.000 A lot of them come out all fucked up. 0.99

01:26:07.000 Like, what happens if you clone Jesus and he comes back with Down syndrome? 1.00

01:26:11.000 And so the whole joke is about following Jesus around and he's, you know, wearing a hockey helmet and turning dog shit into cookies. 0.99

01:26:20.000 So did they actually do it? 0.99

01:26:21.000 No, they never did it.

01:26:22.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

01:26:23.000 It's kind of a bullshit thing. 0.99

01:26:25.000 But this lady goes, next subject! 1.00

01:26:28.000 And I just kept going on with it.

01:26:30.000 I was like, no.

01:26:31.000 Religious people are so weird to me. 1.00

01:26:33.000 It's not even a religious thing.

01:26:34.000 It's just some people just...

01:26:35.000 They don't want to hear wild things.

01:26:38.000 They don't want to hear things you're not supposed to say.

01:26:40.000 They don't hear them all day at work.

01:26:42.000 That's fine.

01:26:42.000 And they come out at a comedy club and they want to sort of apply...

01:26:46.000 That's fine.

01:26:47.000 But if you're willing to believe a wild story like that, how about believe this other wild thing could happen too?

01:26:52.000 Well, the thing is, it wasn't totally a wild story.

01:26:55.000 I think it was people that were ignorant as to the science that were proposing it because they thought this would be the pathway to bring Jesus back.

01:27:05.000 What is Jesus going to be doing anyway?

01:27:07.000 Well, who knows?

01:27:08.000 I mean, depending upon what that means, right?

01:27:11.000 If that is the pathway, let's just imagine, okay, everybody is thinking, if you're really religious, you believe that one day we'll have the rapture and Jesus will return.

01:27:21.000 Okay.

01:27:22.000 So if God created us in his image and God instilled in us an insane sense of curiosity that has led people to create things like genetic engineering, And cloning.

01:27:35.000 And then we have an understanding of genetic material, not where we are now, but maybe in a future sense, where you could literally get a cotton swab from a person and reproduce them.

01:27:46.000 Sure.

01:27:47.000 That's all they need.

01:27:48.000 Cotton swabs all they need for 23andMe, right?

01:27:51.000 You get a little swab in your mouth and they sell your data to China. 0.84

01:27:55.000 I would never do that.

01:27:57.000 I did it.

01:27:58.000 I just wanted to know what was going on.

01:27:59.000 It was all things I knew.

01:28:00.000 What did you find out?

01:28:02.000 Mostly Italian, some Irish, 1% Asian, 1.6% African.

01:28:08.000 You're 1% Asian? 0.89

01:28:09.000 1% Asian, 1.6% African.

01:28:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:12.000 I would think the Asians probably like Genghis Khan shit. 1.00

01:28:14.000 I think Genghis Khan just fucked so many people. 1.00

01:28:16.000 It just got into so many people, so many different places. 1.00

01:28:19.000 That's crazy.

01:28:19.000 It's crazy.

01:28:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:21.000 That guy fucked everybody. 0.99

01:28:24.000 We've talked about it before, but I always forget the number. 0.99

01:28:27.000 There's a certain percentage of people on Earth that have his DNA, and it's astounding.

01:28:31.000 It's an astounding number.

01:28:33.000 It's pretty cool.

01:28:34.000 Well, he also killed 10% of the population while he was alive.

01:28:37.000 Yeah, and that's why he was repopulating them. 0.99

01:28:40.000 Well, took a lot of slaves, sex slaves. 0.99

01:28:42.000 They called them wives back in those days. 0.85

01:28:44.000 It was different.

01:28:45.000 But when they would conquer people, he'd just take their wives, take everybody's wives.

01:28:48.000 I mean, it sounds like the thing you should do.

01:28:50.000 That was his move.

01:28:53.000 It's not bad.

01:28:54.000 It's interesting that all these years later, he's not thought of as a monster.

01:28:57.000 He's thought of as a historic figure.

01:29:00.000 Yeah.

01:29:01.000 Hitler times 100. Sure. 0.99

01:29:03.000 He was fucking insane. 1.00

01:29:05.000 They used to light bodies on fire and then use them as catapults. 1.00

01:29:09.000 They would launch them onto roofs to burn the roofs down. 0.93

01:29:13.000 That's how they would scare people.

01:29:15.000 Just take victims.

01:29:17.000 What a crazy way of doing that.

01:29:20.000 They did so many insane things.

01:29:21.000 One of the things they did was when they would capture a city, they would take the generals and all the different people and they would create a platform and lay all these people out and then stack the platform on top of them.

01:29:35.000 Then they would all climb on top of the platform and eat.

01:29:38.000 So they would eat lunch while they were crushing these people to death slowly.

01:29:44.000 That's crazy.

01:29:45.000 Were the people dead already?

01:29:46.000 No, no, no.

01:29:46.000 They killed them that way.

01:29:47.000 Yeah. 0.85

01:29:48.000 I think that's how he killed royals. 0.98

01:29:50.000 That was his move for killing royal people. 0.99

01:29:52.000 Like instead of just slaughtering them outright and hacking them, they would just kind of crush them. 0.99

01:29:57.000 They had a bunch of different ways they would kill people.

01:29:59.000 They would take, when they would capture people, they would use those people at the front of the line and push them towards their own army.

01:30:07.000 So they would sack a city, capture 100,000 people, take those 100,000 people and put them at the front line and press them to go further into the city, and those people would just get slaughtered in front of them and they would eventually kill everybody there.

01:30:22.000 That's crazy.

01:30:23.000 It was so crazy that there's a guy named Dan Carlin.

01:30:26.000 He's got an amazing show called Hardcore History.

01:30:28.000 And he's got this one episode called The Wrath of the Khan.

01:30:31.000 It's five episodes, but there's one series.

01:30:34.000 And it's all about Genghis Khan.

01:30:35.000 And one of the stories is about the Shah of Chorisma. 0.62

01:30:39.000 The Shah is making a trek to Jin China to see what's going on over there. 0.56

01:30:45.000 Like, what do you guys got? 0.99

01:30:46.000 Talk to the king and see what's happening in whoever the fuck's running your city. 0.99

01:30:51.000 And as they're going there, the roads were so fucked up with decayed bodies that they had abandoned the roads because all their wagons were getting stuck in the mud of decaying people. 0.99

01:31:04.000 And they looked in the distance. 0.84

01:31:06.000 They thought it was a snow-covered mountain that they were looking at way in the distance.

01:31:10.000 It turned out it was a pile of bodies.

01:31:12.000 They killed a million people and just stacked them on top of each other in the middle of the town.

01:31:18.000 They killed the entire city.

01:31:20.000 They killed everyone.

01:31:21.000 That's crazy, and there's no one to clean up the bodies.

01:31:23.000 They just left the bodies. 1.00

01:31:24.000 They didn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:31:25.000 They just kept moving. 1.00

01:31:26.000 That's wild.

01:31:30.000 Imagine living back then.

01:31:31.000 Yeah, I know.

01:31:33.000 Your wheelbarrow is getting stuck in someone's head.

01:31:35.000 I know.

01:31:36.000 Yeah.

01:31:37.000 People were taking gender studies in class today. 0.99

01:31:40.000 Back then.

01:31:41.000 Back then. 0.99

01:31:42.000 They were fucking just running for their lives. 0.99

01:31:45.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:31:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:31:47.000 I guess that we get to do stuff that's sometimes so dumb. 0.95

01:31:50.000 And people are just fighting to stay alive. 0.90

01:31:53.000 Well, it's also interesting that, like, over time, that becomes less and less acceptable.

01:31:57.000 Like, the horrors of Gaza, when we find out about it today, like, everyone's outraged.

01:32:03.000 Back then, it wouldn't be the same type of horrors, obviously, because they didn't have missiles.

01:32:08.000 But horrors are just horrors.

01:32:10.000 Sure, yeah.

01:32:11.000 You're just killing people. 0.95

01:32:12.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:32:12.000 So it's way grosser today. 0.96

01:32:15.000 Well, it's because we also have photos and everything of it, right?

01:32:19.000 From, like...

01:32:19.000 Back then, they saw it in real life, which was way worse.

01:32:24.000 You had to be there to see it, right?

01:32:26.000 Right. 0.97

01:32:26.000 But if you were alive in 1200, let's imagine you and I were alive in 1200, how many people do you think we would have seen get slaughtered with swords and arrows and shit in front of us by now? 0.97

01:32:35.000 Probably a ton. 0.98

01:32:36.000 You become desensitized to it.

01:32:38.000 It becomes a thing.

01:32:40.000 Like when I first started watching The Walking Dead, you're like, I can't believe they just did that.

01:32:46.000 And then two episodes in, you're like, oh, this is normal to me.

01:32:49.000 And it's got to be kind of what it would have been like back then.

01:32:51.000 You watch someone's head get blown off and now you're like, oh yeah, that's just like a Tuesday.

01:32:57.000 Yeah.

01:32:57.000 People get real accustomed to things.

01:32:59.000 And if you're real accustomed to barbaric living and slaughtering people and lighting them on fire and launching them and catapults onto the thatched roofs of these houses and watch them burn. 0.89

01:33:09.000 Right.

01:33:09.000 You can't imagine not doing that, if that's all you say.

01:33:12.000 That's what you do.

01:33:13.000 Yeah.

01:33:13.000 That's what we do.

01:33:14.000 That's just what we do.

01:33:15.000 Yeah.

01:33:16.000 They didn't wash.

01:33:17.000 They wore their clothes until they rotted off of their skin. 0.93

01:33:21.000 Yeah, I mean, I think if they're, like, catapulting dead bodies, it's like, who cares what you're wearing?

01:33:25.000 Sometimes they just lived off the blood of their horses.

01:33:28.000 They would just drink the horse's blood.

01:33:30.000 That's what they sustain themselves with.

01:33:32.000 But then you just need your horse to travel.

01:33:35.000 Yeah, the horse keeps eating.

01:33:36.000 You don't kill them.

01:33:37.000 You just cut a little nick in their neck. 1.00

01:33:39.000 And you just suck a horse's blood? 0.99

01:33:41.000 Yeah, that's what they would do. 0.98

01:33:42.000 They would take it and put it in a jug and drink it.

01:33:44.000 You really could survive if you were just somewhere by yourself.

01:33:47.000 Yeah, you could.

01:33:48.000 You.

01:33:48.000 I don't think I could, but I think you could survive.

01:33:52.000 I would need stuff.

01:33:53.000 You would need a horse.

01:33:54.000 You need stuff.

01:33:56.000 You need physical things.

01:33:58.000 Like you need shelter and knives and you need something you can start a fire with.

01:34:03.000 You need something that you can hunt with.

01:34:04.000 Sure.

01:34:04.000 But if I had that same stuff, I would be dead and you would thrive.

01:34:08.000 I wouldn't thrive.

01:34:10.000 You would survive.

01:34:11.000 For a little while.

01:34:12.000 I didn't know you could drink horse's blood.

01:34:14.000 Yeah, but you gotta keep that horse alive.

01:34:16.000 The horse is gonna die.

01:34:18.000 The horse is eating dead people.

01:34:20.000 It's dead.

01:34:21.000 The horses don't eat meat.

01:34:22.000 They don't?

01:34:23.000 No.

01:34:24.000 They do occasionally eat birds.

01:34:25.000 What if they're starving?

01:34:26.000 They won't eat like a person?

01:34:28.000 No.

01:34:28.000 No, they're not even interested in rotting bodies.

01:34:31.000 They're herbivores.

01:34:32.000 But they do occasionally eat birds.

01:34:34.000 I'm learning so much. 0.97

01:34:34.000 There's this really fucked up video of this horse following this bird, or it's a cow, following this bird around. 0.97

01:34:40.000 I've seen horses do it too, where they found a ground nesting bird and they just eat it. 1.00

01:34:45.000 And the mother bird's flying at them, pecking at them, like, shut the fuck up, I'm eating your baby. 1.00

01:34:52.000 At least she tried. 1.00

01:34:54.000 Deer do it all the time.

01:34:55.000 Deer do it, it's so bad.

01:34:57.000 Like they had this net that they used to catch birds.

01:35:00.000 Okay.

01:35:01.000 And the deer found the birds in the net.

01:35:04.000 And so the deer would just go up to the net and feast like a grapevine.

01:35:08.000 Right, like a buffet.

01:35:09.000 And just eat all these birds.

01:35:10.000 And that's when we started understanding that if a deer catches a bird, slip it and they just eat them.

01:35:15.000 Yeah, why wouldn't you?

01:35:17.000 Because they eat plants.

01:35:18.000 Yeah, but a bird is kind of like caviar to them, probably.

01:35:21.000 Probably.

01:35:22.000 They're like, mmm, delish.

01:35:23.000 Yes.

01:35:24.000 A little foie gras.

01:35:26.000 Don't mind if I do.

01:35:28.000 Yeah.

01:35:29.000 Have you ever seen cows eat birds?

01:35:31.000 No.

01:35:31.000 Find a video of cows eating birds.

01:35:32.000 I've only seen cows eat grass.

01:35:34.000 They eat birds. 0.98

01:35:35.000 It disturbs the shit out of people who are peaceful. 0.98

01:35:38.000 They're like, you know, I think the less suffering we have, the better. 0.89

01:35:42.000 But also a bird can fly away.

01:35:43.000 It's kind of their fault.

01:35:45.000 Well, not babies.

01:35:47.000 Survival of the fittest. 0.99

01:35:48.000 You're dead.

01:35:48.000 It is.

01:35:48.000 You're now dead.

01:35:49.000 It's probably nature's way of keeping baby birds overwhelming us.

01:35:53.000 Why wouldn't you put your birds higher?

01:35:53.000 Why wouldn't you put your bird dust higher?

01:35:56.000 It's on the mom.

01:35:57.000 Look at this.

01:35:57.000 Look at this cow.

01:35:58.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:59.000 He's going right into his mouth.

01:36:00.000 Yep.

01:36:01.000 Chomp, chomp, chomp. 0.94

01:36:02.000 Oh, yum, yum, yum.

01:36:03.000 Isn't it so weird that they decide that they want to eat that?

01:36:07.000 Just weird.

01:36:08.000 It's weird that they just decide.

01:36:09.000 Look at the little kid.

01:36:10.000 Right, why wouldn't you just eat the kid?

01:36:12.000 Yeah.

01:36:12.000 If you're gonna eat that bird.

01:36:13.000 Kid comes with people. 0.94

01:36:14.000 People have guns.

01:36:15.000 They figure it out after a while.

01:36:16.000 They don't know.

01:36:16.000 You think so?

01:36:17.000 They know the guns are coming? 0.82

01:36:18.000 They know that people can kill them.

01:36:20.000 I definitely think they know that people are in control.

01:36:22.000 I don't think they feel a sense of power.

01:36:24.000 Also, you can't eat that kid in one gulp.

01:36:27.000 Right.

01:36:27.000 People are going to know.

01:36:28.000 Right.

01:36:29.000 Right.

01:36:29.000 If you could just eat it in one gulp.

01:36:31.000 Yeah, if you could just swallow the kid.

01:36:32.000 Who knows what happened to the kid?

01:36:33.000 I don't know what happened to the kid.

01:36:34.000 She says, I didn't eat nothing.

01:36:36.000 I'll help you look.

01:36:37.000 Yeah. 0.91

01:36:40.000 You have a shoe in your mouth.

01:36:41.000 I'll help you look.

01:36:42.000 Well, that was a legitimate concern for people hundreds of years ago.

01:36:46.000 Your kid would get eaten.

01:36:48.000 Sure.

01:36:49.000 If it was out in the yard, wolves would get eaten.

01:36:50.000 I mean, that's like the big bad wolf. 1.00

01:36:51.000 That's what all that shit was. 1.00

01:36:53.000 Little Red Riding Hood. 1.00

01:36:53.000 Imagine like your kid survives cholera and then it just gets eaten. 1.00

01:36:56.000 Ugh.

01:36:59.000 Ugh.

01:37:00.000 I can't believe that.

01:37:01.000 Right, like that's not even that long ago that people were dying of cholera.

01:37:04.000 How many years do you think that was?

01:37:05.000 Who knows? 0.99

01:37:07.000 I mean, how many different fucking diseases killed people just because of poor sanitation? 0.99

01:37:11.000 That's what a lot of that stuff came from. 0.99

01:37:13.000 Sure.

01:37:13.000 A lot of that stuff came from poor sanitation.

01:37:16.000 I mean, just think about how many people were just dying in these cities because of the plague because they'd throw their shit out the windows. 0.99

01:37:24.000 I mean... 0.99

01:37:25.000 And there'd be rats and bugs.

01:37:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:37:26.000 I think I would learn pretty quickly if I threw my shit out the window once that, like, that's not great. 0.99

01:37:32.000 I think you would think that, but there's people in India that shit in the street to this day. 1.00

01:37:36.000 I mean, I watch a video where there's like a parade and they're just throwing shit. 1.00

01:37:40.000 Like, that's part of the parade. 0.99

01:37:42.000 Is that in India?

01:37:43.000 Yes.

01:37:44.000 Cow dung festival or something.

01:37:45.000 Yes. 1.00

01:37:46.000 Cow shit's like a different kind of shit. 1.00

01:37:48.000 It's gross, but it's not like human shit. 1.00

01:37:50.000 Human shit is the nastiest shit. 1.00

01:37:51.000 I'm sure you don't think anyone's mixing human shit in at this dung festival? 1.00

01:37:55.000 Yeah, I bet they're not. 0.99

01:37:56.000 I bet they're like, hey, let's spice it up.

01:37:58.000 Yeah, but it's not pure dung.

01:37:59.000 It's not as clean as you think, maybe.

01:38:00.000 Oh, Jesus Christ, just throwing at each other.

01:38:04.000 Imagine, like, this is what you sign up for and they're all smiling.

01:38:06.000 I don't get the appeal.

01:38:09.000 I don't know.

01:38:11.000 Maybe how, like, you know, if you eat a lot of sugar, you get that candida. 1.00

01:38:16.000 And maybe if you play with shit enough, you get that shit bacteria. 1.00

01:38:19.000 I mean, their teeth look so white because they're covered in shit. 1.00

01:38:22.000 They're just covered in shit. 1.00

01:38:24.000 Guys, shower up. 1.00

01:38:26.000 This is ridiculous. 0.91

01:38:28.000 We have to deal with the infections from the cow dung. 0.97

01:38:31.000 How are they not...

01:38:32.000 What is going on here?

01:38:34.000 We won't get any infections from the cow dung, he says.

01:38:37.000 Wait, what does he say?

01:38:38.000 What was his statement?

01:38:39.000 Because of the coronavirus and other viruses.

01:38:41.000 But back it up before that?

01:38:43.000 Okay, here.

01:38:43.000 Heaps of cow dung are brought in one place.

01:38:45.000 We all play in it.

01:38:47.000 We have had to deal with the coronavirus and other viruses...

01:38:53.000 So we believe we won't get any infections from the cow dung.

01:38:56.000 I mean, you see this and then you're like, you know what, it's not that bad that we're doing unboxing videos.

01:39:01.000 I mean, these guys are basically content creators.

01:39:05.000 They are content creators, but they don't know that.

01:39:09.000 They don't know that we're watching these videos. 0.99

01:39:12.000 I mean, can you imagine just being in there and just throwing shit at someone? 0.98

01:39:16.000 How do they not know now, though? 0.99

01:39:18.000 I don't know.

01:39:18.000 It seems like in this day and age.

01:39:19.000 I don't think that's an old video either.

01:39:21.000 Do you see when, like, they give Amazon tribes Starlink and they give them phones?

01:39:26.000 You said Amazon.

01:39:26.000 I just thought of Amazon, like, that I order stuff from.

01:39:28.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:30.000 Not the other one.

01:39:31.000 I just want regular Amazon that brings...

01:39:33.000 I order stuff from Amazon that's like a $3 thing and somebody's driving to my house and dropping off like whatever it is.

01:39:40.000 Floss.

01:39:41.000 They figured it out. 1.00

01:39:42.000 I never buy toothbrushes from the fucking store. 0.99

01:39:45.000 I just click a link. 1.00

01:39:47.000 Bam.

01:39:47.000 But it's like so...

01:39:48.000 I'm spending such little money for stuff that someone's driving to my house to drop it off.

01:39:53.000 Eventually it's just going to be drones.

01:39:55.000 I mean...

01:39:56.000 Just drop it off at your head.

01:39:59.000 Drop it off at your house.

01:40:01.000 And then there's people that...

01:40:02.000 Those are some of the grossest people, people that steal people's packages. 1.00

01:40:06.000 Especially during the holidays.

01:40:07.000 You don't even know what's in there.

01:40:10.000 But that's the fun you get and you're like, this could be a TV. This could be an iPhone.

01:40:14.000 It could also just be toothbrushes.

01:40:17.000 There's so many funny videos of people getting busted.

01:40:20.000 I've seen them, yeah.

01:40:22.000 People are just stealing videos for Christmas. 0.85

01:40:24.000 If you live in a neighborhood where someone steals your packages, that's such a shitty feeling. 1.00

01:40:27.000 There's fucking people in your neighborhood that are clocking what's getting dropped off at your house. 1.00

01:40:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:40:34.000 Chris Rock used to have a bit about putting...

01:40:37.000 If you bought a new TV, you had to be careful putting the box out on the street in the garbage because people would know you have a new TV. They know you have a new TV, yeah.

01:40:44.000 And they want to break in your house and steal your TV. I mean, now TVs are worth nothing.

01:40:48.000 They're worth nothing.

01:40:50.000 TVs...

01:40:50.000 I remember in 1994, when I first moved here, I got a big TV for the first time.

01:40:56.000 It was fucking big. 0.97

01:40:57.000 It was like this big. 0.99

01:40:58.000 1994 was a great year.

01:40:59.000 It was like 24 inches.

01:41:01.000 But it was like...

01:41:02.000 Yeah, to pick it up. 0.90

01:41:03.000 Like, it was a giant-ass TV. Like, it had a whole back to it.

01:41:06.000 Yeah, it was humongous.

01:41:07.000 And then it was one of those years, like, 94, 95, they came out with a plasma TV. And it was $20,000.

01:41:15.000 And it was, like, 40 inches and flat. 1.00

01:41:17.000 And because it was flat, it looked like shit. 0.99

01:41:19.000 It didn't even look good. 0.99

01:41:20.000 Because it was 40 inches and flat, it was like $20,000. 0.98

01:41:24.000 I remember thinking, that is the dumbest thing. 0.70

01:41:26.000 I'm paying $20,000 for this space behind the TV. I don't give a fuck if there's space behind the TV. There's like six feet between the TV and the wall. 0.99

01:41:36.000 What do I give a fuck? 0.99

01:41:37.000 There's an extra 12 inches of TV behind it? 1.00

01:41:41.000 What are you, stupid? 1.00

01:41:42.000 You're gonna pay $20,000 because it's flat? 1.00

01:41:44.000 I guess people want to hang it on the wall.

01:41:46.000 It was a thing to let people know you had it.

01:41:49.000 You had money.

01:41:49.000 Yeah.

01:41:50.000 You had a plasma TV. Right.

01:41:51.000 So you can find a plasma TV from 1995-ish. 0.99

01:41:56.000 They looked like shit. 0.95

01:41:57.000 I think it must have been 96 because that was when I first bought a house. 1.00

01:42:01.000 They looked like shit. 0.99

01:42:03.000 And they were $20,000. 1.00

01:42:05.000 I was like, this is crazy.

01:42:06.000 They were so heavy, those big TVs.

01:42:08.000 Oh, giant.

01:42:09.000 Might not have been 20 grand.

01:42:10.000 I might be exaggerating, but it had to be like eight or nine.

01:42:12.000 And this was like, again, 95-ish.

01:42:15.000 How much did they cost back then?

01:42:17.000 I remember that TV right there, the silver one, where it comes with its own stand, kind of.

01:42:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:42:23.000 Yeah, that one.

01:42:23.000 That's where you go over to the person's house.

01:42:25.000 That person has the Super Bowl party.

01:42:29.000 Yeah, you had to have friends help you carry that in.

01:42:31.000 Yeah.

01:42:32.000 So it was Fujitsu in 95. Fujitsu introduced the first 42-inch and it was how much money?

01:42:39.000 Price.

01:42:41.000 No, I had it right there.

01:42:42.000 Right there.

01:42:43.000 Sample price for the 42-inch was 1 million yen, but Fujitsu aimed to sell it for about 500,000 yen per unit.

01:42:53.000 What is that in dollars?

01:42:55.000 What's 1 million yen in dollars?

01:43:00.000 It's like 15,000.

01:43:02.000 6,000.

01:43:02.000 So 6,500 bucks.

01:43:04.000 That's still a lot of money.

01:43:05.000 Still a lot of money.

01:43:06.000 So it wasn't 20 grand, I exaggerate.

01:43:07.000 That's a lot of money still.

01:43:08.000 But it was just, the regular TV was like 100. How much is a regular TV? It wasn't that much money.

01:43:15.000 But if you had that, you were the man.

01:43:18.000 Like, oh, Bobby must be doing really well in Hollywood.

01:43:20.000 Look at this.

01:43:20.000 Look at that TV. He has a flat screen television.

01:43:23.000 Oh, 10 grand.

01:43:24.000 By the year 2000, prices had dropped to 10 grand.

01:43:27.000 Oh, prices had dropped to 10 grand.

01:43:29.000 So maybe it was 20,000.

01:43:30.000 So what did they start at?

01:43:32.000 Interesting.

01:43:32.000 See if it says up there.

01:43:33.000 Oh, $15,000.

01:43:36.000 Okay, one of the first plasma TVs.

01:43:39.000 I think it was a Philips that I saw.

01:43:42.000 It was available at four Sears locations in the U.S. for $15,000.

01:43:46.000 Is there Sears anymore?

01:43:48.000 I don't know.

01:43:49.000 I haven't seen a Sears forever.

01:43:50.000 I remember when I was a kid, I got a Sears credit card and I just bought my ex-boyfriend at the time rims for his car.

01:43:56.000 That's what you just spend your money on.

01:43:58.000 I don't even...

01:43:59.000 Sears is almost like the Bernstein Bears effect.

01:44:04.000 The fact that you said Sears, I was like, oh, that's a thing?

01:44:07.000 I forgot about Sears.

01:44:08.000 I don't think it is anymore.

01:44:09.000 But how could that not be a thing?

01:44:11.000 Sears was huge!

01:44:13.000 They still have a website.

01:44:15.000 Really?

01:44:17.000 There's no locations though?

01:44:20.000 I mean, it's giving me a store locator, but it's not showing me a match.

01:44:23.000 But that's a weird one.

01:44:24.000 Like, Sears.

01:44:25.000 Like, that had left my memory.

01:44:27.000 Until this, and then you saying it.

01:44:30.000 Like, even though I said Sears, available at Sears.

01:44:32.000 It didn't hit your head.

01:44:33.000 Then you started going, Sears.

01:44:35.000 Oh, I remember Sears.

01:44:36.000 And then I was like, I remember Sears, too.

01:44:39.000 Do you remember when Nobody Beats the Wiz?

01:44:40.000 Do you remember that store?

01:44:42.000 Yes.

01:44:42.000 Do you remember Crazy Eddie's?

01:44:43.000 Yes.

01:44:44.000 Crazy Eddie was actually crazy.

01:44:45.000 Yeah.

01:44:46.000 Turns out.

01:44:47.000 There's nine left.

01:44:48.000 Oh, wow!

01:44:49.000 One in Puerto Rico, eight in mainland.

01:44:52.000 Interesting.

01:44:54.000 We should take a road trip just to go to a Sears.

01:44:56.000 We should go to the one in Puerto Rico.

01:44:58.000 We should bring Tony.

01:45:00.000 Let's bring Tony!

01:45:02.000 That'd be amazing.

01:45:04.000 First of all, Puerto Ricans were not upset by that.

01:45:05.000 I mean, I'm sure some were, but my friends were like, I'm still voting for Trump.

01:45:09.000 Puerto Ricans can take a joke. 1.00

01:45:11.000 They are some of the best shit talkers on earth. 1.00

01:45:14.000 Absolutely. 1.00

01:45:14.000 It's common in Puerto Rican communities to just have fun and joke. 1.00

01:45:19.000 Absolutely.

01:45:19.000 It's not a super sensitive neighborhood.

01:45:21.000 It's a super sensitive ethnic group.

01:45:24.000 No, but most people didn't care.

01:45:26.000 They're like, I don't care. 0.98

01:45:27.000 It was a stupid ding to do it there, but it turned him into a legend. 0.99

01:45:31.000 As long as Trump won. 0.99

01:45:33.000 If Trump didn't win, we were going to have to hide him.

01:45:35.000 For real?

01:45:36.000 Yeah, I was going to hide him.

01:45:36.000 I was going to move him to Thailand or something.

01:45:38.000 To Thailand?

01:45:39.000 Yeah, he's got to get out of the United States for a while.

01:45:41.000 For how long, though?

01:45:42.000 A while, depending on how bad sideways things go.

01:45:45.000 If Kamala Harris becomes president, the deep state takeover and they completely censor all social media, remove everybody's guns, force vaccinations on all your babies. 0.85

01:45:53.000 Everybody gets a sex change.

01:45:55.000 Who knows?

01:45:55.000 And he's just in Thailand.

01:45:56.000 And he's in Thailand.

01:45:57.000 With ladyboys. 1.00

01:45:58.000 Just drinking his life away because he can't believe he fucked it up for one shitty laugh. 1.00

01:46:04.000 He could go live in Puerto Rico. 0.99

01:46:06.000 You know, there were stories that were ready to be published if Trump lost, blaming it on Tony.

01:46:12.000 That's crazy.

01:46:13.000 Yeah.

01:46:14.000 Yeah.

01:46:14.000 Blaming it on that one joke in Madison Square Garden.

01:46:17.000 Where the facts is, and Tony will tell you, actually Puerto Ricans voted 26% more for Trump, which is true.

01:46:24.000 They probably did.

01:46:25.000 Than ever before.

01:46:26.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:46:26.000 Well, people were fucking fed up. 0.98

01:46:28.000 People were fed up. 0.99

01:46:29.000 I didn't even vote.

01:46:30.000 None of this makes any sense.

01:46:33.000 I mean, I think honestly, most people right now, their main concern is like they can't even afford groceries.

01:46:39.000 Exactly.

01:46:39.000 So they're like, whoever I think is going to help me with that.

01:46:41.000 Listen, I don't know what is true or not true, but like people who are like, I can't afford to feed my kids.

01:46:46.000 It is so crazy.

01:46:47.000 I was watching this guy on MSNBC and he was dismissing that in terms of like, when people think a certain way, like people have like a particular, if they're a leftist or if they're a fundamentalist Christian, it's They have one thing in common and that thing they have in common is they want everyone to think like them.

01:47:07.000 Sure.

01:47:08.000 And this guy was saying that about like young people listening to podcasts and they're getting air quotes radicalized and that we need something that can do this from a feminist perspective and teach young men feminism.

01:47:24.000 The whole thing was so strange but one of the things he said that was the most strange Instead of these minor grievances like the price of eggs or someone is teaching your kids something in history that you don't agree with.

01:47:41.000 What's major then, man?

01:47:43.000 Food for kids.

01:47:44.000 Food for your family.

01:47:46.000 History is just history.

01:47:46.000 And history, well, he said something you don't agree with.

01:47:51.000 I don't know what that means.

01:47:52.000 But education is primary.

01:47:54.000 It's one of the most important things for kids.

01:47:56.000 You've got to...

01:47:57.000 View of the world, they have to be correctly informed.

01:48:00.000 It really helps if you have a good education.

01:48:02.000 Sure. 0.90

01:48:02.000 And then, if you have food, if you can afford eggs, that really fucking helps. 0.90

01:48:06.000 And so this idea that these are minor issues, and the important issue is connecting men to feminism. 0.58

01:48:13.000 Listen, you can do that if you want, but most people right now are like, I can't afford to pay for groceries for my kids.

01:48:18.000 I don't even have kids, but people are like, I can't afford to buy groceries.

01:48:22.000 Of course.

01:48:22.000 People who are making more money now are like, I can't save any money.

01:48:25.000 Yes.

01:48:26.000 Everything's more expensive. 0.99

01:48:27.000 People are fucking out of touch. 0.98

01:48:29.000 I'm clearly out of touch. 0.99

01:48:31.000 Clearly.

01:48:31.000 But I remember when I was poor.

01:48:33.000 I understand it.

01:48:34.000 I really do. 0.99

01:48:35.000 And I know what the fuck is going on. 0.99

01:48:36.000 And I know people are saying, hey, this isn't a minor deal. 0.99

01:48:41.000 This is like one of the biggest deals. 0.95

01:48:42.000 You guys fucked up the economy, and you're gaslighting everybody and telling everybody you didn't. 0.92

01:48:47.000 You guys have spent billions of dollars on a war that nobody agrees with, hundreds of billions, and you're gaslighting us. 0.91

01:48:54.000 Yeah, I just also like these teachers that are just like spending all their own money for supplies. 0.84

01:48:59.000 It's like, what are you doing? 0.92

01:49:00.000 Crazy.

01:49:01.000 Why do teachers not have supplies for kids?

01:49:04.000 And you're right.

01:49:04.000 They are the future generation.

01:49:06.000 So if they don't have food and they don't have, they're not like being instructed and, you know, learning stuff and you have these schools where there's so many kids to one teacher.

01:49:13.000 The United States is like someone who owes you money and they say they don't have it and they keep buying cars.

01:49:18.000 Right.

01:49:18.000 That's what it's like.

01:49:19.000 Kind of.

01:49:19.000 It's like, how did you have the money to spend all this money on another country when you didn't have any money to spend on the education of kids?

01:49:27.000 I mean homelessness, the veterans.

01:49:30.000 Let's just pick education.

01:49:31.000 How much could they fix education with $175 billion? 0.91

01:49:36.000 You shouldn't have a teacher that needs to buy supplies.

01:49:38.000 Right.

01:49:39.000 Imagine this.

01:49:40.000 Imagine if companies...

01:49:41.000 We're incentivized.

01:49:42.000 Like, what if they got government grants based on how well the kids performed in the school districts?

01:49:48.000 That would be great.

01:49:49.000 Yeah.

01:49:49.000 Like, literally make it like Halliburton for schools.

01:49:52.000 Like, you know, Halliburton, they blew up Iraq.

01:49:54.000 Halliburton comes in and cleans everything up.

01:49:56.000 Have something that profits off these places getting better.

01:49:59.000 And the better they do in terms of dropping in crime, education rates, graduation rates, college rates, everybody gets more money.

01:50:07.000 Figure that out.

01:50:08.000 I mean, they just want more money for prisons.

01:50:11.000 They do that too.

01:50:12.000 That's true.

01:50:13.000 Because if you don't spend it on education, then you could just have these people have to turn to crime and put them in prisons and that's how you'll get money. 0.91

01:50:18.000 There's a bunch of things they did in the 80s that still fuck with us today and that's one of them. 0.95

01:50:22.000 That's a big one. 0.98

01:50:24.000 Then the 80s must have been so wild.

01:50:26.000 Because there's no computers, and it's just like TV and the newspaper, and everyone's running wild, and Reagan's the president.

01:50:34.000 So nobody thinks anything's real.

01:50:36.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:50:37.000 You got a fucking movie star as the president. 1.00

01:50:40.000 JFK's dead. 1.00

01:50:41.000 Nobody still understands that one.

01:50:42.000 Wasn't Reagan's, was Reagan's wife the one that was called the throat goat? 1.00

01:50:46.000 Allegedly.

01:50:48.000 Yes.

01:50:48.000 Give her her flowers.

01:50:49.000 I think she is the third one.

01:50:51.000 Well, I mean, you could bestow that upon someone to besmirk their memory.

01:50:55.000 You could do that.

01:50:56.000 It's hard to say.

01:50:57.000 Is that necessarily a bad thing?

01:50:59.000 But also the kind of gal that can capture up a president probably knows how to get things done. 1.00

01:51:03.000 Yeah.

01:51:04.000 Yeah.

01:51:04.000 That's not necessarily a bad thing.

01:51:05.000 Good for her.

01:51:06.000 I think it's a good thing.

01:51:07.000 Yeah.

01:51:08.000 I mean, every guy would agree.

01:51:09.000 Sure.

01:51:10.000 Yeah.

01:51:10.000 It's a good skill for a lady to have.

01:51:13.000 Then there's a problem.

01:51:14.000 How'd you learn that?

01:51:16.000 Unless you're a savant. 1.00

01:51:17.000 First dick you suck, you're just like, wow. 1.00

01:51:19.000 Somebody had to just figure that out. 1.00

01:51:23.000 There probably was glasses back in the Roman days.

01:51:25.000 You think so?

01:51:25.000 Oh yeah.

01:51:26.000 Probably guys showing each other how to suck each other off. 0.99

01:51:29.000 Everybody was blowing everybody back then. 0.99

01:51:30.000 They're just, you know, throwing bodies on fire and then also there's throat goat classes. 1.00

01:51:35.000 Imagine what their balls smelled like back then. 1.00

01:51:37.000 Disgusting. 1.00

01:51:37.000 I can't even imagine that. 1.00

01:51:38.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:51:39.000 You'd probably put shit on their balls so you couldn't smell what their actual balls smelled like. 1.00

01:51:44.000 You're like, I'd rather smell straight shit than listen to that. 1.00

01:51:49.000 So gross. 1.00

01:51:50.000 That has to be the worst smell. 1.00

01:51:51.000 Do you ever see how they wipe their asses? 1.00

01:51:53.000 Where? 0.99

01:51:54.000 In the Roman times?

01:51:55.000 Yeah, they would take a sponge that was on a stick.

01:51:57.000 It was a communal sponge.

01:51:58.000 A communal sponge.

01:51:58.000 Why did I just see this on like Instagram or something?

01:52:02.000 Yeah, it's like just...

01:52:03.000 I think I'm all set.

01:52:05.000 I went to Pompeii and I took my family there a few years ago.

01:52:09.000 It's really interesting because these people died like instantaneously and then they've sort of uncovered a lot of it and one of the things that they uncovered was like this communal like shithouse.

01:52:19.000 So it's just like these holes around this, like a horseshoe pattern.

01:52:24.000 Yeah, like that.

01:52:25.000 So these holes, these dudes just sit there and just shat into the ground.

01:52:30.000 So it's like kind of a toilet kind of idea?

01:52:33.000 Kind of, but I mean, I don't think there's any water.

01:52:36.000 And there's the sponge.

01:52:37.000 That's the sponge. 0.72

01:52:38.000 Look at the word.

01:52:39.000 They had a name for it.

01:52:42.000 Xylospongium.

01:52:43.000 How often did they change the sponge?

01:52:47.000 They couldn't change it enough.

01:52:49.000 It's not enough, but like a month? 1.00

01:52:51.000 You're dunking into that fucking... 1.00

01:52:54.000 Okay, hold on a second. 0.99

01:52:55.000 Academics disagree to its exact use, about which the primary sources are vague.

01:53:00.000 It has traditionally been assumed that a type of shared anal hygiene utensil used to wipe after defecating and the sponge is cleaned in vinegar or water, sometimes salt water.

01:53:09.000 Other recent research suggests it was most likely a toilet brush. 0.99

01:53:15.000 Yeah, I mean, they're probably cleaning a toilet and also your asshole. 1.00

01:53:18.000 Yeah, maybe it was all those things. 1.00

01:53:22.000 Middle of the first century Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger reported that a Germanic gladiator died by suicide with a sponge on a stick.

01:53:30.000 According to Seneca, the gladiator hid himself in the latrine of an amphitheater and pushed the wooden stick deep into his throat.

01:53:41.000 Yo! 1.00

01:53:41.000 Did he take that sponge off first? 1.00

01:53:44.000 No, he wanted to die that way.

01:53:45.000 He wanted to suffocate himself.

01:53:47.000 That's how much he didn't want to fight in the gladiator wars. 0.99

01:53:50.000 I see also shitstick. 0.90

01:53:52.000 It means a thin steak or stick used instead of toilet paper for anal hygiene and was a historical item of material culture introduced through Chinese Buddhism and Japanese Buddhism. 0.59

01:54:03.000 A well-known example is...

01:54:05.000 I'm not even going to try to say that word.

01:54:07.000 Where'd it go?

01:54:08.000 Oh.

01:54:11.000 One example, a dry shitstick from the Chen Zen, I'm not going to say that word, in which a monk asked, what is Buddha? 0.97

01:54:21.000 And Master Yunmin Unmon answered, a dry shitstick. 0.99

01:54:26.000 Buddha is a dry shitstick. 1.00

01:54:28.000 Because everybody got a shitstick that had everybody else's shit already on it, and you just smear an extra shit on your butt. 1.00

01:54:34.000 It's like, I'll just have my own shit. 1.00

01:54:36.000 Yeah, you're dunking it in the water, but how clean does it really get? 1.00

01:54:38.000 And then it's just soaked in shit water, and you're taking that, and you're wiping your own asshole with it. 1.00

01:54:43.000 I am glad that I was not born during that time. 0.99

01:54:47.000 What do you think people in the future are going to be saying about this time, though? 0.99

01:54:50.000 What are they going to be most shocked that we did that was so stupid? 1.00

01:54:55.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:54:56.000 Because if we're looking back at Pompeii, what was Pompeii?

01:54:59.000 What year did that go down?

01:55:03.000 67 AD? It's pretty wild when you're there.

01:55:07.000 It's weird.

01:55:08.000 Because you get to see some of the bodies they've preserved that are just completely frozen in place.

01:55:13.000 Like the ash overwhelmed them.

01:55:15.000 And they're just like almost like a little stone statue.

01:55:18.000 79 AD. Can you show me some of the photos of the Pompeii victims?

01:55:23.000 So there's like people that are like just piled on top of each other.

01:55:27.000 Like that's it.

01:55:28.000 Like right there.

01:55:32.000 They just were overwhelmed by ash.

01:55:35.000 Just volcanic ash.

01:55:37.000 The volcano, the heat and the gases just killed everybody like almost instantly.

01:55:42.000 Just completely overran the town.

01:55:46.000 It's pretty insane.

01:55:48.000 That is insane.

01:55:49.000 Because it's just weird that people don't know that.

01:55:56.000 Like when they're building these cities, they don't know that that can happen.

01:56:00.000 I mean, I wouldn't know that that can happen.

01:56:02.000 No, no one knew back then.

01:56:03.000 But I mean, we know now.

01:56:05.000 Look, look at that.

01:56:06.000 That's so crazy.

01:56:07.000 That's what it looks like.

01:56:09.000 I mean, that's a human being that was just literally turned into a statue in place.

01:56:17.000 There was one where these two guys were embracing.

01:56:20.000 And someone tried to say that it was perhaps they were lovers.

01:56:23.000 And someone on Twitter was a very funny comment.

01:56:26.000 They're like, Jesus Christ, imagine dying in front of your friend. 0.80

01:56:28.000 Then everybody finds it like, oh, I knew he was gay. 1.00

01:56:30.000 Imagine like jerking off. 1.00

01:56:32.000 Right, you die in the middle of it. 1.00

01:56:34.000 You have your hand on your balls. 1.00

01:56:36.000 And you're just fucking now frozen in time like that. 1.00

01:56:38.000 Forever. 0.99

01:56:39.000 At least nobody knows who you are.

01:56:40.000 That's true.

01:56:41.000 Yeah, those are the guys.

01:56:42.000 I don't know.

01:56:42.000 Those people, yeah.

01:56:43.000 That's on the way down.

01:56:46.000 Yeah. 0.91

01:56:47.000 Fucked up way to go. 0.96

01:56:49.000 Instantaneously. 0.96

01:56:50.000 Somebody's like, that's Bob and Tom.

01:56:52.000 And when I was a kid, Mount St. Helens blew up.

01:56:56.000 What year was that, Jamie?

01:56:58.000 I don't know.

01:56:58.000 Mount St. Helens was in the Pacific Northwest, and it was a big deal.

01:57:01.000 Because it was an actual, real volcano that killed people in the United States.

01:57:05.000 And we were like, whoa.

01:57:07.000 Like, what?

01:57:08.000 I thought volcanoes were like in other countries.

01:57:11.000 1980. So I was not even in high school.

01:57:18.000 Yeah.

01:57:19.000 That was a crazy one.

01:57:21.000 How many people died from Mountain Elves? 0.85

01:57:23.000 57. Yeah, they knew it was an active volcano, but they didn't think...

01:57:27.000 And they still went?

01:57:28.000 Wow, it's like people live on the side of active volcanoes.

01:57:31.000 Like, in Hawaii, there's a bunch of people that live on the side of an active volcano.

01:57:36.000 When I was in Hawaii, I think there was one of the volcanoes did go off.

01:57:40.000 Yeah.

01:57:41.000 It happened when I was there, too.

01:57:43.000 At the Big Island.

01:57:44.000 The Big Island is very active.

01:57:46.000 There's crazy film of lava overcoming this Mustang.

01:57:51.000 Have you ever seen it?

01:57:52.000 No.

01:57:52.000 There's a Mustang parked in front of the street and the lava is coming from this eruption and it just slowly consumes the street and eats this car right in front of this dude's house.

01:58:02.000 Like these people have been living there, chilling their whole life, coming home from school.

01:58:06.000 Hi mom, I'm home.

01:58:07.000 Does your insurance cover that?

01:58:09.000 Probably not.

01:58:11.000 They try to cover as little as possible.

01:58:12.000 Oh, I know.

01:58:12.000 If you live on the side of an active volcano, like...

01:58:14.000 It's like, hey, I'm going to get volcano insurance.

01:58:16.000 Yeah, that's up to you, player.

01:58:19.000 But I want to have my expensive car.

01:58:21.000 Yeah, I had a friend who...

01:58:23.000 He had some crazy situation.

01:58:26.000 I think he had, like...

01:58:29.000 Flood insurance, but he didn't have damage from water from a hurricane insurance.

01:58:36.000 So like your roof can get destroyed from a hurricane, and you don't have insurance for that, but you have insurance if like your pipes break. 0.92

01:58:43.000 Like he got fucked in some sort of a weird loophole.

01:58:46.000 What's weird too with stuff like that, anytime it's like an adjuster, if you get the right adjuster, they can do whatever you want. 0.93

01:58:53.000 But you have to get an adjuster who's going to do it.

01:58:56.000 Like I used to call and do like appeals for health insurance stuff.

01:58:59.000 And if you kind of sweet talk someone, they might just put it through for you.

01:59:04.000 You have to just keep calling back until you get an adjuster that's going to give you what you want.

01:59:09.000 Or you have to charm them in person.

01:59:11.000 Yes.

01:59:12.000 Yeah.

01:59:14.000 Because they're just regular people.

01:59:15.000 Right.

01:59:16.000 And they can decide.

01:59:17.000 Absolutely.

01:59:18.000 They hold so much power sometimes.

01:59:20.000 That's a crazy power to have.

01:59:21.000 Right.

01:59:22.000 Tell a person you can get your house fixed.

01:59:23.000 Right.

01:59:23.000 Or like your car's totaled and we're going to pay for it or we're not.

01:59:27.000 Yeah.

01:59:27.000 Or you're going to have a shaky ass car for the rest of your life as you take it on the highway.

01:59:33.000 You ever had a car that's fixed that really probably shouldn't have been fixed?

01:59:37.000 I mean, my first car I had was a Ford Tempo, and I remember the steering wheel came off in my lap as I was driving it, and I just picked it up and just kept driving.

01:59:49.000 You put it back on?

01:59:50.000 Oh, I should not have been driving that car.

01:59:52.000 Oh my god.

01:59:53.000 When you're a kid and you buy shitboxes, the chances of those things just completely falling apart as you're driving are so high.

02:00:01.000 My dad also would just like want to paint a car.

02:00:04.000 So he would just like start painting a car and prime it, like half of it, and then he would give up.

02:00:08.000 So we'd have like a two-colored car as a child.

02:00:12.000 It's like so embarrassing.

02:00:14.000 Yeah, if you have a poor car, that's not good.

02:00:16.000 Oh yeah, we had poor cars all the time.

02:00:18.000 And then my mom got into a car accident and then we got a car with that money.

02:00:22.000 The Ford Tempo was like five grand.

02:00:24.000 It had like bright red pleather inside.

02:00:28.000 Bright red pleather.

02:00:30.000 I remember, yeah, I was driving with that car, me and my friends on the highway, and I'm like, oh, the steering wheel just came down, but it's still connected.

02:00:35.000 So I just pick it up and like make the turn.

02:00:38.000 Oh, so like the thing that adjusts the steering wheel dropped off?

02:00:41.000 I don't know.

02:00:42.000 It just like fell in my lap when I was driving.

02:00:44.000 And I just picked it up and like still drove it.

02:00:47.000 Jesus Christ.

02:00:49.000 There's a lot of those cars out there.

02:00:51.000 That's why we need inspections, Adrian.

02:00:53.000 It's very important.

02:00:54.000 My dad, though, knew a guy who would just keep passing that car.

02:00:57.000 Yeah.

02:00:58.000 Those guys are a problem.

02:00:59.000 Yeah.

02:01:00.000 But that's what I'm saying.

02:01:01.000 It's a person that's not an adjuster, but if you know them, they'll do it for you.

02:01:05.000 Yeah, my friend was telling me about that for muscle cars in Los Angeles, that there's a place you can go in the hood, and this guy will completely pass any car.

02:01:14.000 I was like, that sounds like an FBI sting.

02:01:16.000 Yeah, but I mean, there's so many things like that.

02:01:18.000 Yeah.

02:01:18.000 Well, especially in New York.

02:01:21.000 Yeah.

02:01:21.000 I mean, yeah.

02:01:22.000 New York is all about knowing a guy.

02:01:24.000 All about knowing a guy.

02:01:25.000 It's all about, like, what you can get away with.

02:01:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:01:28.000 New York City is disgusting. 0.98

02:01:30.000 And I've lived there my whole life. 0.97

02:01:31.000 I hate it, but I can't imagine, like, living anywhere permanently for the rest of my life.

02:01:35.000 What do you think is going to be the hardest adjustment about moving here?

02:01:41.000 I don't know.

02:01:44.000 I'm not sure.

02:01:46.000 I mean, I can't live here during the summer.

02:01:48.000 I can't do it like flying roaches.

02:01:49.000 Whatever those things are, I just can't.

02:01:52.000 I'm out.

02:01:53.000 Jamie, do you experience a lot of flying roaches?

02:01:56.000 I just see them out.

02:01:58.000 It was like 105 degrees here when I came last June with Ari, and it was just like, we were in his house.

02:02:03.000 He got a really nice Airbnb.

02:02:05.000 He probably brought them with him.

02:02:06.000 There were a lot of crickets this year, but I don't think that's different.

02:02:10.000 I mean, I was in the room in the bathroom, and there was one like this big.

02:02:14.000 A roach.

02:02:15.000 Maybe they're cicadas, whatever they're called. 0.92

02:02:17.000 Oh, yeah.

02:02:18.000 Cicadas are very different than roaches.

02:02:19.000 They look like roaches, though.

02:02:20.000 People eat them.

02:02:21.000 Sure, people eat people.

02:02:23.000 It doesn't make it cool or ripe, but you can eat whatever you want.

02:02:28.000 No, but I mean, it's like a delicacy.

02:02:29.000 People enjoy it.

02:02:30.000 Sure.

02:02:31.000 No, I know a guy who does it.

02:02:33.000 God bless.

02:02:34.000 That's not for me.

02:02:35.000 My friend Ryan Callahan, he had a recipe on how to cook cicadas.

02:02:39.000 Don't they look like big roaches, though?

02:02:41.000 Yeah, like a bug.

02:02:43.000 Anyway, I go to get Ori to kill it, and he's like, oh, it just flew.

02:02:46.000 I'm like, what?

02:02:48.000 That is like a new fear unlocked.

02:02:50.000 It flew?

02:02:51.000 It probably was a cicada. 0.59

02:02:53.000 It probably wasn't a roach.

02:02:54.000 Maybe.

02:02:54.000 It might not have been a roach, but like...

02:02:57.000 That's what a cicada looks like. 0.98

02:02:58.000 I can't. 0.98

02:02:59.000 Fucking cool. 0.99

02:03:00.000 They're fucking cool. 0.99

02:03:01.000 See if you find cicada recipes. 0.99

02:03:03.000 See if you can find Ryan Callahan's cicada recipe.

02:03:06.000 My friend Ryan, he would cook them with like teriyaki sauce and bake them.

02:03:11.000 Yeah, apparently, look, I've gone to Mexico before, and at certain resorts in Mexico, they'll serve you like fried crickets.

02:03:18.000 Sure.

02:03:19.000 Have you seen that?

02:03:20.000 I've heard about it.

02:03:21.000 Yeah, fried crickets are grasshoppers.

02:03:22.000 I forget which one.

02:03:23.000 But they're good.

02:03:24.000 They taste good.

02:03:25.000 They're probably crunchy.

02:03:26.000 Yeah, crunchy, and it was kind of salty.

02:03:28.000 It's pretty good.

02:03:29.000 It's actually not bad for you, like legitimately.

02:03:32.000 It's protein, right?

02:03:33.000 Yeah, it's the same kind of animal protein that you get from a lot of different things.

02:03:38.000 But protein from cicadas is apparently particularly good.

02:03:42.000 Because they're big, I guess. 1.00

02:03:43.000 Probably a lot of protein in those little fuckers. 1.00

02:03:45.000 I mean, I just remember being outside in a bar here, and they were just... 0.99

02:03:50.000 That's all it is for you, is the bugs?

02:03:52.000 The heat's not great?

02:03:54.000 You can handle the heat?

02:03:55.000 I can handle the heat over those bugs.

02:03:58.000 Just stay away from the bugs.

02:03:59.000 I don't run into them.

02:04:00.000 Why can't they fly?

02:04:01.000 Adrian, I'm telling you, you're hanging out in the wrong spots.

02:04:03.000 I'll show you where to go with the bugs.

02:04:05.000 Sure, maybe I'm in the poor places, but the bugs are just, I can't deal with the flying.

02:04:08.000 Just don't care where the bugs are.

02:04:09.000 It's not that big of a deal. 0.99

02:04:11.000 Mosquitoes are a pain in the ass sometimes. 0.99

02:04:13.000 I don't care about that. 0.99

02:04:14.000 I mean, yeah, it's not great, but those big things I can't.

02:04:17.000 Like Lady Bird Lake, if you go around there, there's going to be a lot of mosquitoes. 0.98

02:04:20.000 They're all over the fucking place. 0.96

02:04:21.000 But that's also what the bats keep in check. 0.99

02:04:24.000 Have you seen the bat emergence before? 0.85

02:04:26.000 No. 0.99

02:04:27.000 Oh, it's fucking cool as shit. 0.99

02:04:28.000 Bats are actually pretty cute. 1.00

02:04:30.000 Well, there's the bridge, right?

02:04:31.000 There's a South Congress bridge.

02:04:33.000 And if you go by the South Congress bridge, there's people every night that are waiting for the bats to leave.

02:04:38.000 Because millions of bats leave.

02:04:42.000 So as billions of critters have emerged for seven years...

02:04:44.000 So is this Ryan?

02:04:45.000 I think so.

02:04:46.000 Okay, so you're showing... 1.00

02:04:47.000 So you peel off the skin of these little fuckers. 1.00

02:04:50.000 What is this guy doing? 1.00

02:04:52.000 That's not Ryan Callahan.

02:04:53.000 I don't know who that guy is.

02:04:53.000 I could find a video of him doing it then.

02:04:55.000 Okay.

02:04:56.000 But so this guy's just showing how you cook cicadas.

02:04:59.000 So he's basically taking away the outside area.

02:05:02.000 And he made a cicada taco for this kid and this lady.

02:05:06.000 And they're eating it with a...

02:05:10.000 She's freaking out.

02:05:12.000 Whatever.

02:05:12.000 She said it's not bad.

02:05:15.000 What was I just talking about before that, though?

02:05:17.000 We're moving on to something else.

02:05:19.000 Oh, what I'll miss about being here as opposed to New York?

02:05:23.000 Yeah, we talked about, oh, the bats.

02:05:26.000 That's what we were talking about.

02:05:27.000 The bats eating the mosquitoes.

02:05:28.000 Yeah, show the bats emerging from the South Congress Bridge.

02:05:32.000 It's really crazy.

02:05:33.000 I've seen, I've only done it once, where I went out there and watched it happen.

02:05:36.000 I would like to see it.

02:05:36.000 It's like a million bats.

02:05:37.000 It's like the sky fills with bats, and they kill all the fucking mosquitoes. 1.00

02:05:41.000 They're deathly mosquitoes. 1.00

02:05:42.000 Why are they not eating the mosquitoes also? 0.69

02:05:44.000 Look at them.

02:05:44.000 That's pretty cool, though.

02:05:45.000 Yeah.

02:05:46.000 I've never seen the photos of it.

02:05:47.000 It's pretty badass.

02:05:48.000 I've seen it live like that.

02:05:50.000 And if you go under that bridge, you hear them.

02:05:55.000 Little flying rats clinging to the roof.

02:05:57.000 What else do they eat?

02:05:57.000 They can't eat just mosquitoes.

02:05:59.000 Mosquitoes.

02:05:59.000 That's it?

02:06:00.000 They're mosquito killers. 0.99

02:06:00.000 They keep the mosquitoes in check. 0.99

02:06:02.000 They probably eat a bunch of bugs. 0.82

02:06:04.000 I'm sure they don't only dine on mosquitoes, but they're a significant factor in keeping the mosquito population down, allegedly.

02:06:10.000 That's what I read.

02:06:12.000 It's fine if that's true.

02:06:13.000 I think it's true, though.

02:06:15.000 I think it's true.

02:06:16.000 I think that's one of the main things that they help with.

02:06:18.000 My friend, he lives in, I guess, the country, and he's trying to put up those places where bats will come to eat the mosquitoes.

02:06:23.000 I guess you put up those little bat houses or whatever. 0.99

02:06:26.000 You put pheromones in them, I guess, and he's like, he can't get them to come there because he has a lot of mosquitoes because he lives by a lake.

02:06:32.000 Yeah, I bet bats, it's hard to get them to move into new areas, you know?

02:06:37.000 Because I bet wherever bats live, if they live by a lake, there's probably plenty of bugs.

02:06:41.000 Like, why would they take a risk to go somewhere where they're not sure if resources exist?

02:06:46.000 I mean, they could just fly.

02:06:47.000 Right, but they live under this bridge and they've been on this bridge forever.

02:06:50.000 Well, yeah, I don't think he's going to get these bats.

02:06:52.000 But you know what I'm saying?

02:06:52.000 Like, when bats find a spot that works, they're not migratory.

02:06:56.000 Right, they're just going to stay there.

02:06:58.000 Yeah, they're just going to stay there.

02:06:59.000 So to get them to go to a new spot, he's probably going to have to bring bats.

02:07:02.000 We actually had a bat expert on the podcast.

02:07:06.000 Do you know what I need?

02:07:07.000 I need an expert for pantry moths.

02:07:10.000 We'll try to find you one.

02:07:11.000 I mean, I have pantry moths for the last three months, and I can't get rid of them.

02:07:15.000 They do migrate.

02:07:17.000 Where'd they go?

02:07:18.000 They migrate seasonally, flying south for the winter, and they're returning north in the spring.

02:07:22.000 Interesting.

02:07:23.000 Yeah, that's how I heard about it.

02:07:24.000 There's a bunch more in Houston.

02:07:26.000 Right, so they probably, because Houston doesn't get as cold probably, but they probably have like an established range is what my point is.

02:07:33.000 It's like bringing them to a new range, like to your friend's place, is going to be difficult because there's not a history of them being there.

02:07:39.000 But I wonder if, what was that dude's name?

02:07:42.000 What does it say?

02:07:43.000 It says they eat between 10,000 and 30,000 pounds of insects, including mosquitoes, every night, on their nightly flights, and harmful agricultural pests. 0.99

02:07:53.000 So Austin's bats, they're fucking huge. 0.98

02:07:56.000 They come in handy. 1.00

02:07:58.000 But, fuck, what was I asking about other than that? 0.99

02:08:03.000 Merlin Tuttle. 0.99

02:08:04.000 Yes, that's his name.

02:08:05.000 Merlin Tuttle.

02:08:06.000 So he is a bat expert. 0.93

02:08:09.000 And he lives in Austin as well.

02:08:11.000 Fascinating dude.

02:08:12.000 He's been studying bats his whole life.

02:08:13.000 He's a scientist.

02:08:14.000 Is there still new stuff to find out about bats?

02:08:17.000 Sure.

02:08:17.000 Yeah.

02:08:18.000 I mean, bats carry a lot of weird diseases.

02:08:21.000 That's one thing.

02:08:22.000 That makes sense.

02:08:24.000 Because they're eating mosquitoes. 1.00

02:08:25.000 There's crossover diseases. 0.83

02:08:26.000 The coronavirus essentially was a bat disease that they took and fucked with and made it vulnerable for humans. 1.00

02:08:32.000 So they've done a lot of work with like bats and diseases. 0.80

02:08:37.000 One of the craziest stories though, there's these two doctors, or two scientists rather, and they were in Africa and they decided to set up Photography to film these bats as they were flying out of the cave because there's a certain cave in Africa that has like some fucking insane number of bats.

02:08:58.000 It's just filled with them. 0.99

02:08:59.000 And when these bats flew out, they shit. 0.99

02:09:03.000 So these guys are on the ground in front of the bat cave filming and they didn't take into account they're going to be covered. 0.99

02:09:13.000 In batshit. 0.96

02:09:14.000 Just millions and millions of bats shitting in their face. 0.97

02:09:19.000 And they died. 0.63

02:09:21.000 They died of some crazy hemorrhagic virus that just raged through their system.

02:09:27.000 If you imagine... 1.00

02:09:29.000 You are a human being, and you're essentially intravenously taking in bat shit into your system. 1.00

02:09:36.000 It's going in your eyeballs. 1.00

02:09:38.000 It's going in your mouth.

02:09:40.000 What a crazy turn of events.

02:09:41.000 It's going through the blood-brain barrier. 1.00

02:09:44.000 The bat shit's getting into your blood, and it's circulating through your whole body. 0.99

02:09:49.000 And you just develop a horrible hemorrhagic virus. 1.00

02:09:53.000 So you can't play in that shit like you can play in cow shit? 1.00

02:09:56.000 No, I don't think so. 1.00

02:09:57.000 I think, well, bats eat a lot of, like, living organisms, unlike cows, you know?

02:10:02.000 He's turning these crocodiles orange.

02:10:04.000 Bat poop has turned these African cave crocodiles orange.

02:10:07.000 I mean, that orange crocodile looks pretty cool.

02:10:09.000 That's a pretty dope-looking crocodile. 0.78

02:10:11.000 I'd like a pair of boots. 0.99

02:10:12.000 Yeah, no shit, right? 0.99

02:10:13.000 Like, natural? 0.99

02:10:14.000 Nice.

02:10:15.000 Natural orange crocodile from bat poop? 0.78

02:10:18.000 You know, bat guano is a very potent fertilizer, right?

02:10:24.000 Because bat guano has like, I think it has high levels of nitrogen.

02:10:27.000 I think that comes from them eating all the insects. 0.99

02:10:30.000 So that like, there used to be wars over bat shit. 0.99

02:10:35.000 And that's where the term bat shit crazy comes from. 0.99

02:10:40.000 Guano was a very expensive commodity because people needed it to grow crops. 0.99

02:10:47.000 That's crazy.

02:10:49.000 Bat guano is apparently a very potent fertilizer.

02:10:53.000 They have a 4,300-year-old poop core in a Jamaican cave that they've been studying. 0.93

02:10:58.000 What?

02:10:59.000 5,000 different species of bats have been shitting on for... 0.99

02:11:03.000 Jesus Christ! 0.98

02:11:05.000 Oh my God!

02:11:07.000 Depositive into...

02:11:09.000 Wow!

02:11:10.000 Sequential layers by generations of bats for over 4,300 years and it's two meters tall.

02:11:17.000 That is so crazy.

02:11:18.000 Largely undisturbed and holds information about changes in climate and how the bat's food source has shifted over the millennia.

02:11:26.000 Wow!

02:11:28.000 Imagine going to Jamaica for spring break and that's where you go.

02:11:31.000 That is so crazy.

02:11:33.000 That's so nuts.

02:11:36.000 I'm trying to find a picture of it, but I didn't see it.

02:11:39.000 You know what I'm really fascinated with is things that existed like only in myth but that every culture has.

02:11:49.000 Like dragons.

02:11:50.000 Like I had this guy Forrest Gallant.

02:11:52.000 He's a wildlife biologist and he thinks that there's a real possibility that dragons were an actual thing.

02:11:58.000 Like when dinosaurs were around?

02:12:01.000 No, no.

02:12:02.000 They lived alongside humans.

02:12:03.000 That's why there's all these records and all these different cultures.

02:12:06.000 And, you know, there's Chinese culture has dragons.

02:12:11.000 Japanese culture has dragons. 0.60

02:12:13.000 Ancient Europeans have dragons.

02:12:16.000 Like, dragon is not fire-breathing. 1.00

02:12:18.000 That seems to be bullshit. 0.98

02:12:20.000 But maybe even... 0.99

02:12:21.000 What kind of...

02:12:22.000 Like, what would their purpose be?

02:12:24.000 Well, they're probably like a crocodile that flies.

02:12:28.000 There was probably, like, more than one kind of really dangerous reptile that they called dragons.

02:12:34.000 Like Komodo dragons.

02:12:35.000 Right, Komodo dragons.

02:12:36.000 Giant lizard, they called a dragon, right?

02:12:38.000 Crocodiles, dragons.

02:12:39.000 The question is whether or not one of them actually flew.

02:12:42.000 Because we know that pterodactyls were a real thing.

02:12:45.000 I mean, they probably were real then.

02:12:48.000 Nah.

02:12:49.000 I think it's probably something like that.

02:12:52.000 You know, some kind of, like, enormous bird-type creature.

02:12:55.000 I only want a dragon if it's going to just have fire come out of its mouth. 1.00

02:12:59.000 All the time.

02:13:00.000 That's the only kind of dragon I want. 0.77

02:13:01.000 Stick it on your enemies.

02:13:02.000 Yes. 1.00

02:13:03.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:13:04.000 Send it to your house. 1.00

02:13:06.000 Like when you're in Game of Thrones and that lady's standing there and then you see the dragon's head slowly emerge behind her.

02:13:10.000 I never watch Game of Thrones.

02:13:11.000 I know.

02:13:12.000 How dare you.

02:13:13.000 I know.

02:13:14.000 It's so good.

02:13:15.000 I keep trying to get into it, and I can't.

02:13:18.000 The new one is, eh.

02:13:20.000 No, but I mean the old one.

02:13:21.000 The old one is so good.

02:13:23.000 It's so good.

02:13:25.000 It's so good.

02:13:26.000 It makes you want a dragon.

02:13:27.000 The lady who, was her name, Vanaris, who had the dragons?

02:13:31.000 Is that her name?

02:13:32.000 I have no idea.

02:13:33.000 You didn't watch it either?

02:13:35.000 Could you not get into it?

02:13:36.000 She's too busy playing video games and golf.

02:13:38.000 Bring me your puppy.

02:13:40.000 What do you mean, a reality?

02:13:42.000 Bring me your puppy right now. 1.00

02:13:44.000 Bring me Carl.

02:13:45.000 Jamie's like, I don't like fantasy.

02:13:47.000 Not that kind.

02:13:49.000 Yeah, I don't really like fantasy like that either.

02:13:50.000 What kind of fantasy do you like?

02:13:51.000 I don't know, sci-fi stuff a little more.

02:13:52.000 Have you seen Three Body Problem?

02:13:54.000 No, it was on my list to watch it and start it.

02:13:57.000 Dude.

02:13:57.000 Is it good?

02:13:58.000 It's really good.

02:13:59.000 By the guys who made Games of Thrones.

02:14:01.000 Or the gals or non-binary folks. 0.99

02:14:03.000 Whoever the fuck it is. 0.99

02:14:04.000 Whoever made it. 1.00

02:14:05.000 Whoever made Game of Thrones.

02:14:06.000 That's a thing that you repeat without looking any further.

02:14:09.000 I don't know what producers or whatever, but the point is, it is a really, really good show.

02:14:14.000 Like, really fun.

02:14:15.000 And science fiction.

02:14:16.000 And my wife was not even into science fiction.

02:14:19.000 She loves it.

02:14:20.000 I gotta check it out.

02:14:21.000 Yeah, it's good.

02:14:22.000 I really want Carl.

02:14:23.000 A little Carl.

02:14:25.000 Isn't he adorable?

02:14:26.000 He's so cute.

02:14:27.000 Yeah, he's gotta rest up for Marshall.

02:14:28.000 In about 15-20 minutes, he's gonna meet Marshall again.

02:14:31.000 It's chaos once again.

02:14:31.000 Marshall's just happy right now.

02:14:34.000 Oh yeah, he's happy when Carl's nowhere near him.

02:14:36.000 He's like, Carl, please, I can't.

02:14:38.000 Especially if he doesn't have a toy where they could play tug-of-war.

02:14:41.000 Right. 0.99

02:14:41.000 If they can play Tiger War, it's cool, but Carl is just a psycho. 0.99

02:14:44.000 Oh yeah, as soon as I came in, he was just like biting my sneaker. 0.89

02:14:47.000 Yeah, he just wants to fight.

02:14:48.000 He wants to play.

02:14:49.000 He's still so young though.

02:14:50.000 Yeah, he's a little baby. 0.57

02:14:52.000 But he's also a crazy dog. 1.00

02:14:54.000 He's nuts. 1.00

02:14:54.000 He's like a little torpedo. 1.00

02:14:55.000 He launches himself through the air at Marshall.

02:14:58.000 Yeah.

02:14:58.000 Like if he was a person, he'd be a dictator.

02:15:00.000 He's like nuts. 1.00

02:15:02.000 He'd be a gladiator. 0.99

02:15:03.000 He'd be one of those dudes fighting in Rome.

02:15:04.000 He's like just jacked.

02:15:05.000 Yeah, he'd be one of them dudes fighting.

02:15:08.000 He'd be like that. 1.00

02:15:09.000 He wouldn't be the guy that killed himself with the shit sponge. 1.00

02:15:12.000 No. 1.00

02:15:12.000 No way. 1.00

02:15:13.000 He'd be killing people with the shit sponge. 1.00

02:15:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:15.000 Just plunging it right in their throat. 1.00

02:15:17.000 But you imagine if, like, today was the lion fight.

02:15:19.000 You're like, I don't want to do this. 1.00

02:15:21.000 I'd rather choke to death on a shit stick. 1.00

02:15:24.000 Imagine how bad your life has to be. 1.00

02:15:25.000 Yeah, I think you were like, I'm just going to off myself with this shit stick. 1.00

02:15:28.000 Imagine, like, that's all you have to kill yourself is a shit stick. 1.00

02:15:33.000 I mean, how bad your life has to suck to take this fucking sponge covered in other people's shit and just bypass your gag instincts and stuff it down your hole until you die? 1.00

02:15:45.000 Man, you don't die right away either. 1.00

02:15:47.000 You definitely don't die right away.

02:15:49.000 You're just like ingesting those fumes. 0.99

02:15:51.000 Yeah, you're throwing up in the middle of killing yourself by stuffing it in your neck. 0.80

02:15:58.000 I think someone thought that would kill them and they just tried smelling it until they died and it didn't work. 0.77

02:16:02.000 Nah, they're probably used to that kind of smell.

02:16:04.000 It's like smelling salt. 1.00

02:16:05.000 I bet that shit wakes you right up. 1.00

02:16:07.000 You want some? 1.00

02:16:08.000 No.

02:16:09.000 I used to work at a place that...

02:16:13.000 I'll do it, but I'm not going to do it that close.

02:16:16.000 Oh! 0.99

02:16:17.000 That's what people do with the shit stick. 1.00

02:16:19.000 Oh my god! 1.00

02:16:20.000 That was the biggest one I ever got.

02:16:22.000 Ever.

02:16:23.000 Oh my god.

02:16:24.000 I thought it lost a little bit of potency from the other day.

02:16:28.000 Yo! 1.00

02:16:29.000 It's like a delayed reaction.

02:16:30.000 Yo! 1.00

02:16:31.000 That one hit me harder than anyone I've ever been hit.

02:16:33.000 I thought it wasn't even that close to me.

02:16:35.000 It's like chlorine, but the most chlorine.

02:16:38.000 So I worked at a place that did abortions. 0.99

02:16:41.000 It was like an OBGYN, and they used to have that stuff to wake people up.

02:16:44.000 Oh, fun.

02:16:46.000 God, that is so bad.

02:16:49.000 You guys are addicted, though.

02:16:50.000 You want to try it again, don't you?

02:16:51.000 No, I don't.

02:16:52.000 You sure?

02:16:53.000 I'm not a gambler.

02:16:53.000 I'll give you a couple minutes.

02:16:54.000 I'm not a gambler.

02:16:55.000 It doesn't matter.

02:16:55.000 I'll do it from further away.

02:16:57.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

02:16:58.000 Let's do it again.

02:16:59.000 Let's do it again. 1.00

02:17:00.000 It's one of those things where everybody does it and they're like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:17:02.000 That was so bad. 0.99

02:17:04.000 Let me try it again.

02:17:05.000 Everybody wants to try it again.

02:17:08.000 That's brutal.

02:17:09.000 Yeah, it's rough.

02:17:10.000 It's rough stuff.

02:17:11.000 What do they use that for besides?

02:17:13.000 Weight lifters.

02:17:14.000 Oh, if they get knocked out.

02:17:16.000 No, no, no.

02:17:16.000 They take it right before they power lift.

02:17:18.000 Why?

02:17:21.000 Apparently.

02:17:21.000 I don't know the actual science.

02:17:23.000 Maybe Jamie can look it up.

02:17:24.000 The idea, I think, is it shocks your system.

02:17:27.000 It just jolts everything alive. 1.00

02:17:29.000 And then you're like, fuck it! 1.00

02:17:31.000 Then you can lift more weights. 1.00

02:17:34.000 Allegedly.

02:17:34.000 That's crazy, because I didn't even have it that close to my face.

02:17:37.000 They used to use it with boxers, but they made it illegal.

02:17:39.000 They would put it under a boxer's nose. 1.00

02:17:41.000 To wake them up, right?

02:17:42.000 To wake them up, yeah.

02:17:43.000 If they got rocked and hurt, they would snap them back.

02:17:48.000 I don't even know if it works.

02:17:49.000 Lots of athletes use it.

02:17:50.000 What is it though?

02:17:52.000 Is it legal for them?

02:17:53.000 They're using the smaller versions.

02:17:55.000 Why can't boxers use it then?

02:17:57.000 I don't know that they can't.

02:17:58.000 I don't think they can.

02:17:59.000 I think smelling salts are illegal in between rounds.

02:18:02.000 I think it actually was an issue that somebody brought up because...

02:18:06.000 I think someone was asking why someone, it was one of the fight men in the UFC, excuse me, one of the cut men in the UFC, was holding someone's nose open after they got rocked, like with his finger, but it was just to create more airway.

02:18:20.000 It says because they can mask more serious injuries and cause further harm.

02:18:24.000 Right, right, right.

02:18:25.000 That's what just unboxing is.

02:18:26.000 Yeah, that makes sense. 1.00

02:18:27.000 So like if you get rocked and then they give you smelling salts, you might think you're okay, but really you're still fucked up. 0.99

02:18:32.000 Right. 0.98

02:18:33.000 The worst injury from them is what this is backing up.

02:18:35.000 When I was looking into it is whiplash.

02:18:37.000 It's not like burning your nose.

02:18:39.000 That's hilarious.

02:18:39.000 I was like, from just going like that?

02:18:41.000 Yeah, because you can't not react that way.

02:18:43.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

02:18:44.000 People that are more hurt can get fucked up more. 0.99

02:18:47.000 You need to do some neck exercises, homie. 1.00

02:18:49.000 You get whiplash from that, that's ridiculous. 0.75

02:18:51.000 You get into a car accident and you want to get more money, so you just do that for whiplash?

02:18:57.000 Take a couple blasts of that before the cops get there. 0.91

02:18:58.000 What is that stuff?

02:18:59.000 It just smells like ammonia, kinda.

02:19:01.000 I think it is ammonia, yeah.

02:19:02.000 Yep, that's all it is.

02:19:03.000 Yeah, it's just ammonia in crystal form.

02:19:06.000 But this is this company.

02:19:08.000 This product is called Ah.

02:19:10.000 This is the strongest one we've ever tried.

02:19:12.000 I mean, I've smelled it before too, but that is very strong.

02:19:14.000 It's the strongest.

02:19:15.000 It was like here and I smelled it.

02:19:16.000 Yeah.

02:19:17.000 This smelled so bad that it smelled inside the sealed container.

02:19:21.000 So it had a sealed plastic container in And you could smell it.

02:19:25.000 I could smell it through the container before it was even open.

02:19:28.000 Then once I unsealed it and opened the bag, while this was sealed and with like a top to the lid, so there's the top that's like sealed over the bottle and then the lid on top of the top.

02:19:38.000 And you still smelled it through that?

02:19:39.000 Still smelled it through that.

02:19:40.000 With like the plastic seal, you got to pull the seal back and everything.

02:19:43.000 Once we opened it up, I could...

02:19:45.000 It's just...

02:19:46.000 It's insane. 1.00

02:19:47.000 Whatever the fuck is in... 1.00

02:19:48.000 Whatever it does to your system... 0.99

02:19:50.000 How do they, like, get it in crystal form?

02:19:52.000 No.

02:19:52.000 Okay.

02:19:53.000 You do first.

02:19:54.000 Okay.

02:19:57.000 Why would you go that close?

02:20:01.000 That's pretty close.

02:20:07.000 Get in there, girl. 1.00

02:20:09.000 Big breath.

02:20:10.000 Big breath.

02:20:12.000 No, that was nothing.

02:20:13.000 I smelled enough.

02:20:13.000 That was nothing.

02:20:14.000 I don't care.

02:20:16.000 I'm not going to breathe in it.

02:20:17.000 I'm going to lie.

02:20:18.000 I'm going to pretend I'm doing it.

02:20:19.000 You did it.

02:20:20.000 You had the full experience the first time.

02:20:21.000 That first time was, like, brutal.

02:20:23.000 Yeah.

02:20:23.000 Doesn't it wake you up, though?

02:20:25.000 It does, for sure.

02:20:26.000 Yeah, so if somebody had rocked you, if you're in there with some girl who's boxing you up, she's piecing you up.

02:20:31.000 And they just smell that.

02:20:32.000 They get you in the corner.

02:20:33.000 You're like, whew.

02:20:34.000 I can see it making you, like, angry, too.

02:20:36.000 Yeah.

02:20:37.000 I would think it'd probably be good to mask any symptoms of you being hurt. 0.98

02:20:41.000 They should have had that on the shitstick. 1.00

02:20:45.000 Yeah, imagine just swallowing a bottle of that to kill yourself. 1.00

02:20:48.000 Yeah! 0.99

02:20:49.000 But that's better.

02:20:50.000 Probably take a long time.

02:20:52.000 You don't think you would die from that right away?

02:20:53.000 It's ammonia.

02:20:54.000 I wonder.

02:20:55.000 Okay.

02:20:56.000 How much ammonia would you have to consume for it to be lethal, Jamie?

02:21:00.000 I feel like a cup.

02:21:02.000 This is not even a cup.

02:21:04.000 Well, that's in crystal form, though.

02:21:06.000 I think it'd be prolonged.

02:21:06.000 At least the amount of time, you're probably doing it.

02:21:08.000 But if you just down this whole thing, it should kill you.

02:21:10.000 Swallowed it? 0.92

02:21:11.000 Yeah, the whole thing.

02:21:13.000 I feel like we shouldn't be giving anybody any ideas.

02:21:15.000 Probably not.

02:21:15.000 People who were eating Tide Pods don't.

02:21:18.000 They were, right?

02:21:19.000 That's a crazy time.

02:21:21.000 I think China did that to us.

02:21:22.000 I think they tricked us on the internet.

02:21:24.000 Into taking Tide Pods? 0.99

02:21:24.000 Yeah, they got some fake people to pretend to eat Tide Pods and talk to dumb kids. 0.99

02:21:28.000 I can remember when they were locking up detergent because kids were eating Tide Pods. 0.95

02:21:34.000 When you're like, I don't know, man.

02:21:36.000 If you're eating those Tide Pods, you deserve it.

02:21:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:39.000 We're always gonna have kids that do stupid shit. 1.00

02:21:41.000 There's no way around that. 1.00

02:21:44.000 Tide Pods is probably one of the top.

02:21:46.000 I'm lucky Tide Pods weren't around when I was a kid.

02:21:48.000 You would've definitely been eating them?

02:21:49.000 I know somebody who would've ate them.

02:21:51.000 There's always that one kid in the neighborhood who'll do anything to get attention.

02:21:54.000 They do feel cool though.

02:21:57.000 They're like soft and...

02:21:59.000 What is in them?

02:22:01.000 Detergent.

02:22:01.000 Oh, sorry.

02:22:02.000 Tide Pods.

02:22:03.000 What are you saying, Jamie?

02:22:04.000 They were saying, this is probably how this got into sports.

02:22:07.000 They thought it counteracted head trauma.

02:22:10.000 Right, yeah.

02:22:10.000 Like 50 years ago.

02:22:11.000 Wakes you up.

02:22:12.000 Not just, but I mean, fully, like, if you were knocked out.

02:22:16.000 Right.

02:22:16.000 I know it would wake you up, but, like, they thought it, like, fixed you.

02:22:20.000 Right.

02:22:20.000 They thought it brought you back.

02:22:21.000 Well, they didn't know shit back then. 0.99

02:22:23.000 I still smell it. 0.98

02:22:24.000 I mean, when do you think they figured out brain damage?

02:22:27.000 When they start figuring out if you get punched in the head too many times, you lose your ability to communicate.

02:22:32.000 I think they probably knew it pretty early and they were like, I'm betting on this game though.

02:22:36.000 Let them keep it in each other.

02:22:38.000 Well, they definitely knew about it because boxers were washed up even in the 50s and the 60s.

02:22:43.000 But I don't think they understood the extent of it until probably like the 60s and the 70s.

02:22:48.000 People started discussing like being punch drunk, punch drunk boxers.

02:22:52.000 Like I think boxers knew about it.

02:22:54.000 But I think like the general public, it wasn't really a big thing.

02:22:57.000 What about football people?

02:22:59.000 Concussions and stuff.

02:23:00.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:23:01.000 They get it real bad.

02:23:02.000 All of them.

02:23:03.000 All contact athletes.

02:23:05.000 Your head getting jarred like that.

02:23:07.000 But I think for us, the big one was Muhammad Ali.

02:23:10.000 Because Muhammad Ali was such a cultural hero.

02:23:13.000 And to see Muhammad Ali in the later stages of his life unable to communicate and shaking is very disturbing.

02:23:20.000 Because as much as they try to tell you that had nothing to do with boxing, come on.

02:23:23.000 It definitely did.

02:23:24.000 Of course it did.

02:23:25.000 You jostling your brain around.

02:23:27.000 But there's also a trauma induced Parkinson's is a real thing.

02:23:30.000 Right.

02:23:31.000 And so when you see people that are like Freddie Roach, who's a, he was a boxer and now he's a famous trainer.

02:23:38.000 He has trauma induced Parkinson's is a shake that he tells you is from his career as a boxer, just something that happens to people. 0.99

02:23:46.000 And so when you see it happen to someone like Muhammad Ali, you're like, fuck. 0.99

02:23:48.000 Right. 0.99

02:23:49.000 Because this guy's like the sign of strength.

02:23:51.000 Not just a sign of strength, but the way he would talk was so different than any other boxer.

02:23:56.000 He was so fast.

02:23:58.000 He was so funny.

02:23:59.000 Howard Cosell called him truculent once.

02:24:02.000 He seemed very truculent, champ.

02:24:03.000 He goes, whatever truculent is, if it's good, I'm that.

02:24:06.000 That's a great answer.

02:24:10.000 He had so many funny things that he said. 0.98

02:24:12.000 He was the first guy that was like talking shit in a funny way and getting the whole world to pay attention. 0.98

02:24:18.000 You know? 0.99

02:24:19.000 He said one of his opponents, I forget who it was, he goes, have you ever dreams he beat me?

02:24:23.000 You better wake up and apologize.

02:24:25.000 It's funny.

02:24:26.000 He just said some funny, funny things he would say, but also, like, refused to fight in the Vietnam War. 1.00

02:24:32.000 He said, hey man, fuck you. 1.00

02:24:33.000 I'm not going over there. 1.00

02:24:34.000 Yeah, good for him.

02:24:34.000 Yeah.

02:24:35.000 And then lost his title, lost his ability to make a living for three years because of it.

02:24:39.000 Like, the prime three years of his career was taken from him because he refused to fight in the Vietnam War.

02:24:45.000 So he was...

02:24:46.000 He was a lot more than just a fighter.

02:24:49.000 He was like a cultural icon who defined rebelling against a corrupt and evil system.

02:24:55.000 And then, you know, eventually at the end of his life, he was a victim of the sport that made him famous.

02:25:01.000 And we watched it.

02:25:02.000 Right.

02:25:03.000 And that's the first time we ever watched someone go from, you know, just celebrated for the way he talked to being unable to communicate at all.

02:25:11.000 This gives two very different versions of when it was discovered.

02:25:16.000 Ancient Egypt.

02:25:18.000 1848, Phineas Gage, a railroad worker, survived a traumatic brain injury when an iron rod shot through his skull and destroyed much of his left frontal lobe.

02:25:28.000 Gage's personality changed dramatically and his case considered a landmark in the study of brain damage and personality.

02:25:34.000 We have pictures of that.

02:25:35.000 Yo, let's see the pictures.

02:25:37.000 Oh boy.

02:25:39.000 Oh boy.

02:25:41.000 It says it went right through.

02:25:42.000 Oh my god.

02:25:44.000 He didn't apparently feel much pain.

02:25:46.000 Oh boy.

02:25:47.000 Heath was throwing up for every 20 minutes, but he was lucid and remained talking the whole time.

02:25:53.000 So he just made his hair part over the hole in his head?

02:25:56.000 It said he had obliterated his left frontal lobe, but he survived the accident.

02:26:01.000 A 13-inch railroad rod.

02:26:05.000 Is that the rod that he has in his hand?

02:26:06.000 Yeah, I think so.

02:26:07.000 Oh, Christy.

02:26:08.000 He's kept it?

02:26:09.000 That could be a gun or something.

02:26:10.000 No, that looks like the rod, dude. 1.00

02:26:12.000 That's the thing that went through his fucking head and he lived. 1.00

02:26:15.000 And now he's keeping it. 1.00

02:26:17.000 Oh, that's what it looked like!

02:26:20.000 Oh my God!

02:26:23.000 Wait, so it didn't go through his eye?

02:26:25.000 It went through his head and destroyed his eye.

02:26:27.000 What do you think that...

02:26:29.000 What did it say it did to his personality?

02:26:31.000 So this was like the first study in psychology.

02:26:35.000 It's changed psychology.

02:26:36.000 Right.

02:26:37.000 What did they say?

02:26:38.000 How did they say it affected his personality?

02:26:41.000 Phineas Gage on second thought.

02:26:42.000 That's interesting.

02:26:43.000 What does that say on the top?

02:26:45.000 The title of it?

02:26:46.000 Before profane and hostile afterwards.

02:26:48.000 A re-examination of the famous case of a man whose personality changed from a grievous brain injury.

02:26:57.000 Uh-huh.

02:27:00.000 Okay, wait a minute.

02:27:02.000 Yeah, I know.

02:27:03.000 Yeah.

02:27:04.000 Yeah.

02:27:05.000 Alright, I'll find another way.

02:27:07.000 Yeah, it's hard to know.

02:27:08.000 This is a funky site.

02:27:11.000 The dude who runs that site's funky.

02:27:15.000 I mean, I bet he wasn't a good time to be around.

02:27:17.000 Well, it does definitely dramatically change people.

02:27:20.000 I was reading about this guy who developed an ability to see mathematics in geometric form.

02:27:30.000 And it's called acquired savant syndrome.

02:27:33.000 So this guy started creating like geometric art, like apparently had no interest in mathematics at all.

02:27:39.000 And then I think he got mugged.

02:27:41.000 I think he got beat up and then developed some bizarre mathematical ability.

02:27:48.000 I mean, that's better than the people that have, like, traumatic brain injuries and become pedophiles.

02:27:53.000 True.

02:27:53.000 Like, definitely pray for the mathematic genius.

02:27:56.000 Well, I know quite a few comics about him.

02:27:59.000 Roseanne Barr, Kinison, both got hit by cars. 0.95

02:28:03.000 Both changed their personalities dramatically afterwards.

02:28:06.000 It's probably, like, quite a few people that just got knocked in the head and then just became a different person.

02:28:11.000 Right.

02:28:12.000 Which is really weird.

02:28:13.000 It's a sketchy thing.

02:28:15.000 Oh, no.

02:28:15.000 Your joke was about somebody taking medicine.

02:28:19.000 Oh, the joke about, yeah, the Parkinson's drug?

02:28:21.000 That's true.

02:28:22.000 That's crazy.

02:28:23.000 It's so crazy.

02:28:25.000 Yeah, it's called a dopamine agonist.

02:28:28.000 And apparently with some people, it completely removes their inhibitions.

02:28:33.000 Right, he was gambling. 1.00

02:28:34.000 Gambling, gay sex, just went off the rails. 1.00

02:28:38.000 And would you say he lost like $600,000 or something? 1.00

02:28:40.000 Somewhere in the neighborhood of that, yeah.

02:28:42.000 Lost everything.

02:28:45.000 But then when he stopped taking the drug, he was okay.

02:28:47.000 He got back to normal. 0.99

02:28:50.000 He's like, what the fuck was I doing? 0.99

02:28:52.000 He won in court, which is the craziest thing. 0.99

02:28:54.000 He sued GlaxoSmithKline.

02:28:56.000 But he lost more money. 0.80

02:28:57.000 He lost as much money as he gained back and was also raped twice. 0.99

02:29:02.000 No, raped once, I think. 0.99

02:29:04.000 He was raped or he raped? 0.99

02:29:05.000 He was raped. 1.00

02:29:06.000 Yeah, he picked a guy up off Craigslist. 0.98

02:29:09.000 I guess he didn't see that. 1.00

02:29:10.000 He just became addicted to gay sex and gambling. 1.00

02:29:12.000 It's crazy to like stop doing that and then you're like, wow, I remember all those dicks I took. 1.00

02:29:17.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:29:18.000 That was a crazy time.

02:29:19.000 Well, he was a different human.

02:29:21.000 Like his brain, like we don't think about it this way, but your brain is essentially this...

02:29:29.000 Functional ecosystem of all these different things, dopamine and serotonin and all these neurotransmitters and then the blood that's flowing through your body, it's all operating on this sort of like fairly regular schedule of what's available to use and how you interpret consciousness based on The chemicals. 0.99

02:29:50.000 And then all of a sudden, you introduce this new shit. 1.00

02:29:53.000 And this new shit makes you want to suck cock and play bingo. 1.00

02:29:56.000 It's just crazy that both of those things are like the same in this guy's head. 1.00

02:30:01.000 Well, it's just wild impulses.

02:30:03.000 I'm sure he had probably other impulses.

02:30:05.000 I don't know if he got more violent, but that sometimes happens where people can't control. 1.00

02:30:10.000 You know, like someone cuts you off in traffic, and you want to be like, oh, this fucking idiot. 1.00

02:30:13.000 Right. 1.00

02:30:14.000 Well, they just fucking can't take it! 0.98

02:30:15.000 They just want to drive someone off the road. 0.99

02:30:17.000 They just lose their impulse control.

02:30:19.000 That happens to people with CTE as well.

02:30:22.000 A lot of people with CTE, they have a very short fuse.

02:30:25.000 Like, very short fuse.

02:30:26.000 Didn't they think that happened on Aaron Hernandez?

02:30:28.000 Mm-hmm.

02:30:30.000 Yeah, they said he had the worst CTE I think that they had ever diagnosed and he was alive in 28. Well, he's dead, obviously, because they did an autopsy.

02:30:41.000 But I mean, he was alive at 28 before he killed himself with the worst CTE they had ever seen.

02:30:47.000 So it hadn't even killed him.

02:30:49.000 Right.

02:30:50.000 But it had destroyed his brain.

02:30:52.000 I mean, his brain was destroyed.

02:30:55.000 It was just filled with holes.

02:30:57.000 That's crazy.

02:30:58.000 Crazy.

02:30:59.000 And they said that when they studied football players, there's some extraordinary number of football players that have CTE. It's in like the high 90%.

02:31:10.000 And this is not just college.

02:31:13.000 This is high school, college.

02:31:14.000 But all those people that have those high CTE counts, like they're not killing people either.

02:31:18.000 Some of them are.

02:31:20.000 Not a lot.

02:31:20.000 No, not a lot.

02:31:21.000 But the thing about it is, first of all, when it's over, there's a lot of them that wind up killing themselves.

02:31:28.000 That's a big thing that happens with fighters.

02:31:31.000 It happens with soldiers also, the PTSD compounding the fact they have brain injuries.

02:31:37.000 Right.

02:31:38.000 A lot of heavy depression.

02:31:39.000 So 345 former NFL players with chronic traumatic encephalopathy out of 376 former players studied.

02:31:50.000 So out of all those people studied, only 31 dudes didn't have it.

02:31:56.000 So it's 91.7%.

02:31:57.000 Among those diagnosed in the last year, two former players who once represented the teams paired in the Sunday Super Bowl, former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback.

02:32:07.000 Could you do me a favor and just Google Aaron Hernandez CTE results?

02:32:14.000 The second highest you could have.

02:32:16.000 I don't know what the stage is, but stage three.

02:32:18.000 Worst you've ever seen in someone that young.

02:32:21.000 Yeah.

02:32:21.000 Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

02:32:23.000 He wasn't playing as long as some of these other people.

02:32:25.000 That's what's crazy.

02:32:27.000 Range of symptoms including emotional and behavioral changes, memory loss, and depression.

02:32:33.000 Yeah.

02:32:35.000 Yeah.

02:32:36.000 It's nuts.

02:32:37.000 It's not since 91% of the players...

02:32:39.000 It's crazy too that you just keep playing football because you make so much money from it.

02:32:43.000 Well, I think Aaron Hernandez was a violent dude already.

02:32:46.000 You know, there was like a lot of abuse in his childhood and there's a lot of crazy stuff.

02:32:51.000 I think there was a lot going on with that guy.

02:32:53.000 Right, so he might have been a little unhinged to begin with.

02:32:56.000 He murdered a bunch of people, right?

02:32:58.000 At least one.

02:32:59.000 They think he murdered at least two.

02:33:00.000 They think he murdered two.

02:33:02.000 Yeah, I thought it was two.

02:33:03.000 But I think one is like confirmed.

02:33:05.000 How many people did Aaron Hernandez murder?

02:33:07.000 I know why I thought it was three.

02:33:09.000 Should have charged for one.

02:33:11.000 I mean, dude's playing in the NFL. He was acquitted of a double homicide.

02:33:14.000 Playing in the NFL. Superstar.

02:33:16.000 Also, just gunning people down.

02:33:21.000 With one of the worst examples of CTE they've ever discovered.

02:33:24.000 He was found guilty of first degree murder and sentenced to life in prison.

02:33:27.000 Did he hang himself?

02:33:29.000 Is that how he died?

02:33:30.000 Did he hang himself?

02:33:31.000 I believe so.

02:33:35.000 Imagine like an injury like that dude with the rod through the brain and now all of a sudden you're a totally different person.

02:33:41.000 Like all your life you've been one person and then gone.

02:33:45.000 That person's gone.

02:33:46.000 It's kind of fun.

02:33:48.000 Maybe not.

02:33:49.000 There's only one way to find out.

02:33:52.000 You would try, like, you would want to know, like, how hard do I have to get hit in the head to be really good at math?

02:33:56.000 Like, you don't want to overdo it.

02:33:58.000 No, you don't want to.

02:33:59.000 You're like, keep pushing me.

02:34:00.000 I still can't figure this equation out. 0.99

02:34:02.000 One more kick to the face, please. 1.00

02:34:04.000 I think we're right there. 0.97

02:34:06.000 I think I'm starting to see geometry.

02:34:08.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

02:34:09.000 But it doesn't happen to everybody.

02:34:11.000 That's what's weird.

02:34:12.000 No.

02:34:12.000 Some people make some great comics.

02:34:14.000 Some people just make some brain dead. 0.95

02:34:17.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:34:19.000 There's a fine line.

02:34:20.000 There's a fine line. 1.00

02:34:21.000 To genius and brain dead.

02:34:22.000 In everything there's a fine line.

02:34:24.000 Alright, should we wrap this up?

02:34:25.000 Let's wrap it up.

02:34:26.000 It was really fun.

02:34:27.000 Yeah, thanks for having me.

02:34:28.000 Thanks for being here.

02:34:28.000 You're very funny.

02:34:29.000 I really enjoy your comedy.

02:34:30.000 I love the risks you take.

02:34:33.000 You know, you just go for it.

02:34:35.000 It's fun to watch.

02:34:36.000 It's great.

02:34:36.000 It really is.

02:34:37.000 It's fun.

02:34:38.000 It's a different thing than anybody else is doing and people love it.

02:34:41.000 I think there's reason for that.

02:34:42.000 And I think you're like one of those people that they have to find out about you to appreciate you.

02:34:47.000 And, you know, that happened with a lot of people.

02:34:49.000 That happened with, like, Stephen Wright.

02:34:51.000 That happened with, like, Mitch Hedberg.

02:34:52.000 Like, people had to, like, know what they were coming for to really appreciate it.

02:34:55.000 Do you remember that story?

02:34:57.000 I don't know when Mitch Hedberg did his special for Comedy Central.

02:35:00.000 It took so long because he was, like, bombing the whole way through.

02:35:05.000 You never heard that?

02:35:06.000 I mean, he's like a genius, but his special, he was not doing well, and they kept filming it.

02:35:11.000 And finally, he's sitting down on those stairs, because I think he had been at it for a while.

02:35:15.000 And you watch that special, and it's hilarious.

02:35:17.000 He's like a genius, so funny.

02:35:20.000 But yeah, in the room, it just was not going well.

02:35:23.000 Well, it all depended with Mitch on also who is their complimentary opening act that makes sense.

02:35:28.000 Sure.

02:35:29.000 Like, he would have guys on the road, like, have a middle act on the road that the club would provide, and that dude would be doing backflips and singing songs.

02:35:36.000 Right.

02:35:36.000 That's not a great person for you to follow.

02:35:38.000 It's terrible.

02:35:39.000 And so people didn't know who he was back then.

02:35:41.000 It was just, who's the headliner?

02:35:42.000 Oh, there's a guy named Mitch Hedberg.

02:35:44.000 Like, why does he have sunglasses on?

02:35:45.000 Why is he staring at the ground?

02:35:46.000 Yeah.

02:35:47.000 But once they knew who he was, then they would come to see him, and then it was awesome.

02:35:52.000 And I think there's a thing like that with you.

02:35:54.000 Well, what's funny, too, is Louis directed it, and he's like, let's do this thing.

02:35:57.000 At first, he was like, let's do this thing where nobody knows you're filming a special.

02:36:01.000 He's like, you know, you're just going out there, and usually half the crowd loves me and half the crowd doesn't.

02:36:06.000 So I was like, let's do one show like that.

02:36:10.000 And that show, I tap danced the whole way and it was so brutal.

02:36:14.000 I left that, the first two shows we did, I was like, the first one was okay and the second one was so brutal because none of them knew who I were.

02:36:20.000 They didn't know I was doing a special.

02:36:21.000 They just thought they were coming for a regular show.

02:36:24.000 And I'm up there for an hour.

02:36:26.000 And people, like there was like seven people that liked me, but like we all left so dejected.

02:36:32.000 Like Louis was like, I can't even watch this.

02:36:35.000 And Ari, I seen Ari being like so depressed. 0.71

02:36:38.000 And then I went home that night and I was like, I'm gonna have to quit comedy.

02:36:42.000 Oh my god.

02:36:43.000 And then the next two shows the next night were amazing.

02:36:45.000 But like, yes, I'm not for everyone.

02:36:47.000 Yeah, you're not for everybody.

02:36:49.000 Not even my biological father.

02:36:53.000 Well, you're for me.

02:36:54.000 I appreciate you.

02:36:54.000 Well, thank you.

02:36:55.000 Thanks for having me.

02:36:56.000 My pleasure.

02:36:57.000 So, one more time, Jamie, show it.

02:36:59.000 It's available now.

02:37:00.000 Netflix, The Dark Queen.

02:37:02.000 Tell people your Instagram, all that jazz.

02:37:05.000 It's just my name, Adrienne Appalucci.

02:37:07.000 Spell it, though, because people are like, Appaloochee must mean A. I know.

02:37:12.000 But you have an I first, this funky I. But everyone always thinks it's an L, so that's why I was like, we need to use a font where it's an I. So it's A-D-R-I-E-N-N-E, and then the last name's I-A-P-A-L-E. Have you ever thought about just changing your last name to an A? Just put an A there?

02:37:29.000 I mean, everyone thinks it's an L. How about just changing one big A so people know how to say it?

02:37:33.000 I feel like I like being a little difficult.

02:37:36.000 You do.

02:37:37.000 That makes sense.

02:37:38.000 Keep it that way.

02:37:39.000 Don't listen to me.

02:37:39.000 Thank you very much.

02:37:40.000 Appreciate you very much.

02:37:41.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 12, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2227 - Adrienne Iapalucci

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Summary

Transcript