On this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the comedian and podcaster talks about his love of dogs and how to discipline them. He talks about how he got his first dog, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, and what it's like to have a dog that's out of control. He also talks about training a Golden Retriever and how it's not as easy as you think it is. Joe also shares a story about how his dog almost got into a fight with another dog and how he managed to get him to calm down and listen to him. And he talks about what it s like to be a dog owner and how important it is to discipline your dog. This episode was recorded on location in Los Angeles, California, at a friend's house. If you're a dog lover or dog lover, this episode is for you! Thanks for listening and Good Luck Out There, and Happy Training! -Jon Sorrentino ( ) and . -Joe Rogan ( ) is a comedian, podcaster, writer, and actor. He is a friend of mine and I'm a big dog lover and dog lover too. . . . and I hope you enjoy this episode, it's a good listen. I hope it makes you all have a good day! -Jon and I talk about dogs and their training. - Jon Rogan Thank you for being a good friend of ours, Jon Rogans podcast. Joe Rogans Podcast , and Joe's podcast, The Joe's Podcast, and much more of course, :) The Joe is a good dude, and he's a great guy, and we love you, Jon's podcast is a great dude, too, so thank you for listening to this podcast, so don't forget to send us some love, good vibes, good night, good morning, good day, good love, and good vibing, bye, good luck, good bye, bye. , bye, Joe, bye bye, love, bye Love ya, bye! - Jon & Joe <3 -JOGAN - XO - JOGAN, ROGAN AND ROG Jon and RODAN xO & JOSEPH, EJ, -RODAN, JORDY, RYAN, AKA
00:04:13.000When Marshall's here, Carl gets so tired from playing with my dog, because my dog doesn't fight back, so he just totally takes advantage of it.
00:06:24.000But if you drink like Burt Kreischer, you drink fucking boxes of wine.
00:06:27.000Burt would get on the treadmill and drink a box of wine on the treadmill.
00:06:33.000Bert suffers from the same disease Patrice had.
00:06:36.000He's so this one-of-a-kind person that everything he says and all the advice he tries to give don't work for anyone else because he's one of a kind.
00:06:48.000So he'll say, here's what you gotta do, and you go, that doesn't apply to me.
00:07:48.000Just having Marshall around can make my day ten times better.
00:07:51.000I'm sure you love your dog just as much and you want to do your best to help them live longer, healthier, happier lives.
00:07:59.000And a healthy life for your dog starts with healthy food, just like it does for us.
00:08:03.000There's a reason having a balanced diet is so important.
00:08:07.000So how do you know if your dog's food is as healthy and as safe as it can be?
00:08:12.000Well, Farmer's Dog gives you that peace of mind by making fresh, real food developed by board-certified nutritionists to provide all the nutrients your dog needs.
00:08:40.000Real food from people who care about what goes into your dog's body.
00:08:44.000The farmer's dog makes it easy to help your dog live a long, healthy life by sending you fresh food that's pre-portioned just for your dog's needs.
00:13:26.000Because, look, I have certain friends that have recovered from alcoholism, and this one buddy that I had that used to drink, he would drink, and then his eyes would glaze over like a shark's.
00:13:37.000Like the pupils would be gone, and he wasn't there anymore.
00:14:48.000I had two big ones where I lost a week.
00:14:50.000I mean, I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but I do know that that is one of the side effects of brain injury, is that you lose impulse control.
00:15:13.000If you're diving in with someone for 24 hours, 48 hours, and you just met them, the chances of you guys jiving perfectly are not that good.
00:15:24.000If you get lucky, you find the girl of your dreams, and then, hey, we've been together, we hung out together for two days in a row, and then, fuck, we were married six months later, and we live happily ever after.
00:16:05.000I believe that outside of the idea of relationships.
00:16:08.000So, like, I always say, like, and I probably heard this somewhere, read it somewhere, but, like, the idea of, like, you can be like your heroes.
00:18:19.000Because I was like, I don't know, I'm trying to explain something scientific that I don't know nothing about, but if I had to describe how it felt, it felt like it connected things for me.
00:18:29.000Where I was like, oh, I need to be a little bit more...
00:18:32.000I need to work on this, or I need to check in with so-and-so, or I need to let go of that.
00:20:33.000Because it gave them a chance to help and serve and connect.
00:20:36.000And so as opposed to me thinking I needed to pretend I didn't have a problem or they wouldn't be my friends, it made them so much better friends knowing like, oh, we can help them.
00:22:13.000And I think that's kind of how I'm viewing modern times.
00:22:17.000Where people would rather complain about the rules of poker instead of just playing their hands the best way they could.
00:22:23.000Well, it's outcasts for the first time get collectively as a group I think?
00:22:40.000I find, other than white radical, white supremacist Nazis and shit, just you're talking about social issues, the meanest people are the left-wing people for whatever reason.
00:23:50.000He's a brilliant venture capitalist, super genius guy and been on my podcast a couple times.
00:23:56.000He broke the whole woke thing down as a religion and explained how you can get excommunicated and cast out and people are fearful of that so they stay inside the lines.
00:25:02.000I think if I ever met like a crazy right-wing, which I never have met any of these Nazis they're talking about, but if I did meet one, I believe that I could have some empathy for them and some sympathy and go, they're just dumb.
00:27:26.000Another problem I've noticed too, like along these lines, is like, let's say we're in a group, let's say we have some group, and then we find out one of the guys in our group did a bad thing.
00:27:43.000So like, it's not like every Catholic priest, I've heard all your terrible bits at the comedy clubs about the Catholic priests from every comic I know.
00:27:52.000It's not like all the ones were fine with sexually molesting children.
00:27:57.000It's just that there were a lot that did, and the church thought, this is not going to look good for us.
00:28:05.000Sometimes there's some bad guys in the military, and they don't want people to think if you send your daughters to the military, bad things are going to happen.
00:28:12.000So they kind of internally deal with it.
00:28:15.000And that's a bad thing that groups do.
00:28:17.000Even our own government goes, alright, let's find a way to cover that up instead of dealing with this.
00:28:22.000Because if we just deal with it, it's gonna reflect poorly on the group.
00:28:24.000What are we gonna do with this obscene client list?
00:29:01.000And now they're waking up going, ah, maybe the trans struggle was different than the gay struggle, but we've let them in the group and now...
00:29:08.000Well, a lot of gay guys think that the movement is homophobic because you're telling a young gay guy, no, you're a woman, you're actually a woman.
00:29:16.000Well, it's one of those things that you got to say some people it must be true because it's always been a thing like to have real gender dysphoria to be in your mind feel like a woman has always been a thing even if you're a guy there's more feminine women that feel like women So it's like,
00:29:37.000But also, when you encourage that, and you reward people socially for that, and then you have Pride Day at kindergarten, and you're talking about sexual orientation to people that are nowhere near puberty, which is really crazy.
00:31:48.000Even if you're a trans woman, which is at the top of the oppression list, they're above regular poor black people, poor Mexicans, poor immigrants, trans people's at the top of the mountain.
00:32:17.000I could go on about that for hours, but let's say that's the idea that we're agreeing with, that historically America was racist.
00:32:24.000So now the overcorrection is, anything that is racist must be, don't ever even accuse a person of color of something wrong, because we have to so overcorrect, and we have to say how many black friends we have, and say how cool black things are, and don't say that their hair is different, because that would be a racist thing.
00:33:03.000I think that there's a big difference between just letting someone live their life and being kind to them in society and not treating them different and giving them all the same rights as opposed to celebrating it.
00:33:21.000But what is weird is when it becomes encouraged.
00:33:26.000And so then you get, like, with girls in particular, they're very vulnerable.
00:33:31.000Abigail Schreier wrote a book about this, about how many girls that are on the spectrum get convinced that they're trans.
00:33:37.000And then the problem is there's some states that allow you I think if you're 15, you can go and get puberty blockers or at the very least you can get testosterone.
00:35:54.000The number of gender-affirming hormone therapy visits to Planned Parenthood tripled between 2021 and 2023, growing from 800 visits per year to more than 2,500.
00:36:25.000They called her transphobic just for literally talking about facts and statistics and the numbers have increased and the psychological effect.
00:36:32.000Like, what's going on with them psychologically?
00:38:22.000But you wouldn't encourage someone, and I know that I'm going to take some hits for this, but you wouldn't encourage someone who believed that their body was fat if it wasn't healthily, you know, like with an eating disorder.
00:39:21.000Wait for the iPod 6. Wait for gene therapy.
00:39:24.000Because I firmly believe, it might not be in our lifetime, but maybe in our children or our grandchildren's lifetime, gene editing will get to a place where they will be able to turn you into whatever the fuck you want.
00:39:36.000And it's probably going to be a nightmare, because every guy's going to look like Thor, and every woman's going to look like a prime Jennifer Lopez.
00:39:42.000It's like, there's not going to be any variations.
00:42:02.000If you could do it in a pill, I would tell to anybody, if I could give you a pill, and that pill would give you more energy throughout the day, you could pick up anything, you could carry things around, you'd never have to worry about yourself physically, you're stronger than most people you meet, you know how to fight,
00:42:42.000You just choose to do it with other things.
00:42:44.000You choose to sit there with your fucking phone out, scrolling through Instagram and checking your likes and arguing with people on Twitter.
00:45:45.000I think the social media thing is the craziest part of it.
00:45:48.000I think kids are just, first of all, they're weirdly connected, because they all get on Snapchat, and then they have a snap map, so they know where all their friends are at any given time.
00:45:58.000And so they're constantly paying attention to that, and finding each other, and they go in groups, and they go to this party, and, oh, they're at this party, let's go to that party, see them on the maps.
00:46:23.000They still do, like, kids today, they still do physical things, they still do sports, you know, but when we were kids, the thing about Not having any other influences, especially social media influences, you didn't really aspire to be exactly like other people.
00:46:43.000It's like there was groups of people that you gravitated towards being a jock, you gravitated towards being an artist, but you didn't try to completely copy whatever trend is going on.
00:46:58.000Nowadays kids, they leave their fucking stupid label on their Nikes.
00:48:10.000I think that one thing that I do look backwards and think about, and this is a mushroom thought for sure, this came to me, you know, whereas like, My mom would go, why do you need these expensive shoes for school?
00:48:24.000And I didn't have the intelligence at the time to explain it to her now, but now I look back and I wish I would have said, Mom, my whole social structure is based on this.
00:48:34.000Because I don't have the internet, which would later come out.
00:48:39.000At least in the 90s and the late 80s when I was growing up, Amber Shoemaker was the hottest girl at our school, which meant Amber Shoemaker's the hottest woman in our universe.
00:48:49.000I didn't go online and go, well, Amber's not...
00:49:03.000So like, we had our own little realities.
00:49:06.000You know, so it's like, I didn't give a shit about the bulls necessarily, but if Mike Jensen from my school said the bulls are cool, I liked the bulls.
00:51:01.000The Comanches had multiple arrows on their fingers, so they'd keep like four or five arrows, and they would shoot one, and they'd shoot another one, and they'd shoot another one.
00:51:09.000They were just fucking these dudes up.
00:52:46.000Because if they surrendered, they were tortured and murdered.
00:52:48.000The Comanches used to chop dudes' arms off and legs off and then throw them while they were still alive on a roaring fire and watch them squirm around.
00:54:54.000Some people have a real fucking problem with social media, and you see a lot of comics, especially the unsuccessful ones, when they start falling apart when they get older, it just exacerbates their mental illness.
00:55:31.000You go on there, it's all day, just some doom and gloom.
00:55:34.000Do you think that that's because that's how they find meaning in an otherwise meaningless existence?
00:55:40.000What is it about people where their entire life becomes completely wrapped around politics to the point where they're tweeting about it literally all day long and saying these things that they think are profound About all kinds of different issues.
00:55:55.000I think it's got to be some sort of virtue signaling.
00:55:58.000Like it's their way to go, look at how good I am.
00:56:00.000It's also a way to show that you're relevant.
00:56:04.000You know, you're talking about the things that people care about right now and you're chiming in and saying the things that need to be said.
00:59:44.000I guess my point is, then it's not racist when I say black, if it's not racist when you say white, because you're over-glomming a big thing.
01:00:38.000These poor white people, they're just victims of their environment, man.
01:00:43.000They're teaching college kids that, like, if you're a stray white guy, they just hand you suitcases full of money, and that you have no troubles, and the cops don't target you.
01:01:09.000He's doing so much crazy shit because he only has one term.
01:01:14.000All the different things that he's said so far about completely banning all of these gender transition clinics for kids, hormone therapies for kids, puberty blockers for kids.
01:02:19.000They gave all your money to trans people.
01:02:21.000They didn't help the black community at all.
01:02:22.000Is not only going to tax, but confiscate endowments of every university the Department of Justice finds has engaged in illegal discrimination under the guise of equity, which is basically every university in the country, but is especially true with the Ivy League, which is, if this happens,
01:03:39.000And this fucking guy, like, would work all day long at school and then put his books in his backpack and walk up stairs to get a workout in.
01:04:09.000Was Harvard sued that they were discriminating against Asian Americans?
01:04:12.000So they have, like, ways that what they're saying is—what they were complaining was that there's ways that they have that Like, accentuate certain attributes that let you get in, like social things that you do,
01:04:28.000different things that you do, that give you extra points.
01:04:30.000They felt like it was designed just to keep less Asian people in.
01:05:02.000An organization created by anti-race conscious admissions activist Edward Blum citing itself students for fair admissions sued Harvard alleging that the university discriminates against Asian Americans and seeking to prevent Harvard College and other colleges and universities from using a wide-ranging and thorough admissions process that considers the whole person.
01:05:25.000So that's interesting, though, because on paper, that sounds like a good thing.
01:05:32.000A wide-ranging and thorough admissions process that considers the whole person.
01:05:35.000If you want to educate a child, you want a kid to go from being a young teenager to being an adult, and you're educating them, there is a social aspect to it.
01:05:47.000You don't want to develop complete sociopaths that just go to work.
01:06:49.000And you can't make it fair with laws, and you can't make it fair with rules, and it doesn't make you any better to suppress someone in some sort of a way.
01:06:59.000And that includes someone who's a fucking complete psychopath who studies 18 hours a day and dominates and starts a business when they're 19 and becomes a billionaire by the time they're 26 and then all of a sudden buys Twitter from Elon Musk.
01:07:34.000How can you understand that Brittney Griner makes more than her teammates, but you can't understand that the NBA generates more money and is better, makes more than the WNBA? How can you in-brain?
01:07:46.000Well, what people get scared of is the amount of control and power that you have with that kind of money.
01:07:50.000And then some people want to make decisions for all of us.
01:08:12.000What people are scared of is that when you really do have ultimate money and ultimate power, With most people, there's this desire to control people.
01:08:33.000It donates to all these different organizations, and in Bill Gates' case, it prevented them from criticizing him, because the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, they donate all this money to these media corporations and all these companies.
01:08:45.000Look at all the money we've given you to help global health and whatever the fuck it is.
01:08:49.000But what it really does is it buys off people from criticizing you.
01:08:53.000And then you start doing wild shit, like telling everybody they should eat plant-based food and fucking buy all the farmland.
01:09:06.000Get DAs elected and then put an even more progressive DA to go in after him and see if he can fuck with things by letting people out of jail and defunding the cops.
01:09:16.000It's like they're playing these weird Monopoly games with the whole world.
01:10:33.000And that is what people are really scared about with people who have a lot of money, is that they don't just have a boat, they don't just have a house, but then they start influencing what people can and can't do.
01:10:43.000Then they start funding studies to talk about particular types of energy, because they've got an enormous amount of money invested in this green renewable energy or whatever it is.
01:13:11.000And I didn't like that they were justifying this procedure of doing that.
01:13:17.000And they were trying to tell me that these people would starve to death if it wasn't for that plant.
01:13:23.000I go, those people have been there for thousands of years.
01:13:25.000I go, and you know why they don't have any money?
01:13:28.000Probably because we bribed their government, and we gave them loans they couldn't pay off, and then we took all their resources, and then we moved plants over there.
01:13:37.000The pollution of the plants is just insane, too.
01:15:50.000But I don't yammer on on my social media about slavery all day.
01:15:55.000I'm aware that I'm in this system or this network.
01:15:58.000It's just so hypocritical when I hear, like, LeBron talk about slavery that happened in our country over a hundred years ago while he's dripping in Nike.
01:16:09.000How dumb can you be to pretend to care about slavery while you're making, what, a billion or something from Nike?
01:16:17.000Don't you think that if you're a person that is in mainstream world acceptance, whether a sports star or any kind of media personality, there's certain things you feel obligated to call out and to talk about.
01:17:07.000He tried to say that there's this multi-billion dollar right-wing ecosystem that's been developed just like a terrorist network that radicalizes young people?
01:18:36.000If you have to pay someone $10 million to endorse A, but then B is doing it for free because they believe in that idea, which one seems more nefarious?
01:21:40.000Because when someone's got that kind of money, to do something that people are going to look down upon if they find out if it's true, that's what makes me skeptical.
01:22:50.000It's easier to do things against my moral compass when I was broke.
01:22:53.000You'd say, Jeff, we'll give you $500, go steal this thing.
01:22:56.000Cause I'd be like, you know, I need 500 bucks.
01:22:58.000Whereas like now I can be a little more generous with my money.
01:23:01.000I can be a little more ethical because I'm, I'm in a place where I don't have to worry about the $500 isn't worth breaking some ethical code for me, right?
01:23:46.000Campaign spent at least $15 million on event production, FEC record show, With many payments lining up with high-profile events and concerts with celebrity attendees or performers.
01:24:17.000Harris campaign cut multiple six-figure paychecks in September for left-leaning groups that have been vocal about defunding the police, reparations that are tied to radical activists who have supported notorious anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan, Fox News digitally, previously reported.
01:25:10.000Finally also show the campaign gave in excess of a hundred million dollars to various consulting and marketing firms, including Gambit Strategies LLC, DuPont Circle Strategies LLC, and Bully Pulpit Interactive LLC. That is so crazy.
01:25:25.000They gave those folks a hundred million dollars.
01:25:28.000Yeah, so like $1 million to Eminem could have been lost in there, but I'm just saying that you have to find the evidence to blame him.
01:25:35.000Well, I think with a guy like Eminem, too, he doesn't like performing.
01:28:13.000That's one thing people don't talk about these really...
01:28:15.000Even Bill Gates, whether you agree with him or not, like, the dude was willing to, like, sleep like a fish, where he'd take, like, he'd sleep for, like, 15 minutes and wake up and program again.
01:28:24.000Like, he worked really hard to become Bill Gates.
01:30:07.000He just couldn't train, couldn't come in for months.
01:30:09.000Yeah, there was a new drug that came out this year, I think, that they thought was going to be ending it, but they had to quickly pull it off.
01:33:21.000What, 30 years ago, if you said that we'd be debating or even having to have a conversation that's controversial about whether a guy can be a woman, they would laugh in the streets at us, you know?
01:35:59.000That automation and AI is going to just consume, especially AI, it's going to consume so many jobs.
01:36:06.000There's going to be so many people that have to rethink their life and figure it out.
01:36:10.000And I think if we don't compensate those people somehow or another, we're going to have a real fucking chaotic problem on our hands.
01:36:16.000Just to keep people happy and healthy, I think universal basic income might be the way to go.
01:36:21.000But I used to always think like, hey, maybe if we gave universal basic income to people, then, you know, they would still be ambitious, but they'd be ambitious in like pursuing their own career or developing their own business or, you know, taking that money and using it to be free.
01:36:34.000But now I think that human nature, if you give people, there's so many people that if you don't give them a difficult problem to solve, and if you provide them with all their needs, their food and their shelter, they just aren't.
01:36:50.000So there's two things going on simultaneously.
01:36:52.000One, we have to address the fact that there is no way to get around the fact that automation and AI is going to consume a lot of jobs, and I think universal basic income is probably the only solution for some of those people.
01:37:02.000But then there's also the psychology aspect of it.
01:37:05.000Like, if you do tell people you never have to work again, most people never have to work again.
01:37:09.000And they're going to regret it someday.
01:37:11.000One day they're going to look at all these people they admire, that have accomplished things, that live these fun, exciting lives, successful lives, and they're going to fear envy, and they're going to feel despair, and they're going to feel like they could have done something more with their life.
01:37:57.000So it's like, you've got to, like, if you give them, they'll say, well, this isn't basic, this basic income, it's not enough for me to really live.
01:38:15.000Well, you're not going to feel happy with no purpose.
01:38:18.000And that is another thing that we found during COVID. One of the things, like, people were so at each other's throats during COVID, it's because everybody was at home.
01:38:37.000It's like most people did, especially if you're seeing your life go away, because maybe you've worked 30 years to develop a business, then all of a sudden some new thing comes along and you have to shut your business down for a year and a half?
01:38:51.000And you can't get a loan, and like, oh my god, and the lease payments for the building, they keep coming in, you're like, what am I gonna do?
01:39:18.000That's enough to change my political opinions, and it's enough for a psychopath to grab a gun and go, hey, maybe don't knock out the windows of my store.
01:39:27.000If someone comes along from the left that is an objective, sensible person that's making sense of immigration, foreign policy, then I'm still left.
01:40:22.000But he was saying like, it's really easy to identify and rebuke the far right.
01:40:27.000Like, we're very good at identifying it and going, I devour, or disavow, or whatever the term is, we don't want that.
01:40:33.000But then with the left, the very extreme left, we kind of celebrate it, and we post it, and we brag about it, and we go, look how good I am.
01:40:40.000I think they thought, finally, we have thugs.
01:43:03.000No, no, but if I, you know, just Jeff Dye Sr. If I have a kid, it's going to be Jeff Jr. I'm Jeff Sr. I'm Jeff Sr. Yeah, I'm just preparing for the family.
01:44:35.000We're going to really bring back the heart and soul of New York City.
01:44:38.000We need our arts and culture back and we need people to see it and feel it, to participate in it, to know that that essence of New York City has not been defeated by the coronavirus.
01:44:48.000We'll come back strong in 2021. Month after month in 2021, as you see the city come back to life, culture will lead the way.
01:46:22.000If you tried to do that at any other time in history, if that was in 1990 and the mayor of New York had people dancing with masks on in the street, everybody would be like...
01:48:39.000And then, you know, and then now, finally, when Trump won, it was like the first time in a long time, I was like, whew, maybe we're gonna be okay.
01:48:47.000You see the stuff that he's saying about the colleges, the gender...
01:49:34.000It's not political in a sense where someone's running for office.
01:49:37.000There's a difference between, like, you're promoting someone running for office while it's on television, and they don't want you doing that on television.
01:49:43.000The other thing is, like, you're taking a cultural stand.
01:50:34.000I've gotten accused of pandering, right?
01:50:36.000They're like, oh, he's pandering to the right or whatever.
01:50:39.000You know, Finesse Mitchell goes, you're getting real political lately to me.
01:50:42.000And I was like, why am I just saying what I think?
01:50:44.000Also, like, I tell you this, too, is like, when I was in Seattle, You know, and I was, like, making jokes.
01:50:50.000Like, nobody goes, wow, you're really leaning into this left stuff.
01:50:53.000You know, like, when comics are going up and talking about all the things they talk about, I don't go, oh, trying to make that Obama money, huh?
01:50:59.000Like, no, they just are saying what they think.
01:51:01.000Nobody ever accuses people of pandering until you do it, like, on the conservative side.
01:54:25.000Well, it's definitely you prepare for it more and you think about it in a different way than a regular show.
01:54:32.000I prepared so much more than I ever do normally.
01:54:34.000Well, you didn't have to sit around approving edits from people at a big corporation with a bunch of laptops who aren't creative who go, maybe this bit.
01:55:03.000They've changed their standards, though.
01:55:05.000And then, like, by 2014, I got away with a lot.
01:55:08.000I got away with a lot when I did a Comedy Central special in 2014. But they now, I don't even know what they make anymore other than South Park.
01:56:13.000And Tom Dustin's already kind of a controversial guy as far as, like, the booker was like, you know, you know our reputation here and we're letting you do this because we want to help you, but, like, play ball.
01:56:24.000So Tom Dustin goes out there and he's struggling a bit.
01:56:28.000And just in the middle of the set, he just decides, I don't want to do this.
01:56:32.000I don't want to jump through these hoops.
01:56:34.000So he goes, I heard Comedy Central's here.
01:59:12.000Yeah, and the guy more than where I live.
01:59:15.000How about those folks that live on cruise ships?
01:59:17.000You know those certain folks that gave up their house and they just live on a cruise ship all year round?
01:59:21.000I will say, and I promise I'm not trying to be contrarian here, because I love Tim Dillon, I love all these guys who will shit on cruise ships, and they're right.
01:59:28.000Every bit of criticism that my favorite people in my life criticize about cruise ships, the other side of that coin is, some people just want to eat shit and look at things.
02:00:06.000But then every three days you get to waddle your fat ass off the boat and see Puerto Rico for three hours, and then you get back on the boat.
02:00:14.000Some people, that's a pretty cool deal.
02:01:32.000It was a real pressure cooker because you had these guys that were these national-level comics that could have been some of the best comics in the country, but they never left Boston.
02:01:40.000And so you're always working with these guys, these Steve Sweeney, Don Gavin, Kevin Knox, Lenny Clark.
02:02:01.000So Lenny got out, and he did a lot of TV shows and a bunch of stuff, but a lot of those guys, they stayed put, and they were still, fuck, like Steve Sweeney.
02:02:08.000He's, to this day, one of the greatest killers on stage I've ever seen in my life.
02:02:19.000The dirty thing was, like, say if you're a famous comedian and you're coming to play Nick's Comedy Stop for the weekend, like Billy Crystal, they would put on Don Gavin, Kevin Knox, Steve Sweeney, Mike Donovan, and they would just eat shit.
02:02:36.000And they would love that these guys would eat shit.
02:03:29.000But then he'd also be like, you guys are all gonna do short sets in front of the headliner, which we're excited to do, but that also means he doesn't have to pay us to open.
02:03:36.000So he doesn't have to pay for a middle or a host.
02:03:37.000So it was a trick, but we were happy to be part of the trick because we just wanted stage time.
02:10:41.000Well, and also the stadium's laughing and going, this guy's the best, and then my dumb friends are going- I thought they were all cheap jokes.
02:12:53.000And we were talking about this last night, because I came in as a Dice Clay fan when I was a kid, and by the time Dice had gotten kicked off of MTV, and it was in fashion for comedians to call him a sexist and a pig,
02:13:55.000Yeah, which if anyone was to criticize, you know, like I know a lot of the old dogs in Boston would be like these guys aren't doing anything different But right that's different.
02:14:04.000Yeah, so you get something that's different That's working and then people will kind of get mad.
02:14:08.000They were like you claimed you wanted something different and it's working It's working and it's different just because you do a different thing like if you're an observational comic Yes, you do a different thing doesn't mean that that thing that all 100% Tens of thousands of people are screaming and cheering for is wrong.
02:14:28.000I was at Skankfest, right, this year in Vegas, which, what a treat, and so grateful to them for having me, so I don't ever want to make it sound like I'm not grateful, but I went and watched Carrot Top, Scott Thompson, right?
02:14:41.000I went over to the Luxor, I watched the show, and then I come back to Skankfest, and I was like, oh, we were at Carrot Top, you know, and people were like, Carrot Top?
02:14:50.000I was like, he's better than all of us, just so you know.
02:14:58.000It was relevant as far as like he was doing topical things.
02:15:02.000He had a P. Diddy joke that happened like the night before I saw him.
02:15:06.000Like he had all the, you know, it wasn't all props.
02:15:08.000There was a lot of topical stuff, tons of Trump stuff, political stuff.
02:15:12.000There was like three, like maybe a one-minute segment where I was like Because I was going in with an open mind.
02:15:19.000If it's going to be shit, I'll say it's shit.
02:15:20.000And if it's great, I'll say it's great.
02:15:22.000And there was one little chunk that I was like, that's a little hacky.
02:15:26.000And it's like a Vegas Luxor joke about how they made it a pyramid because if you try to jump out the window, you'll just end back up at the casino.
02:18:02.000Which I'm probably going to wear that a little bit, but I think we got to the bottom of it.
02:18:06.000Well, we probably are at least semi-accurate.
02:18:09.000I just wonder who came up with that list in the first place.
02:18:12.000Well, but there's a difference between me saying something wrong on your podcast and millions of people repeating a thing that they heard about Carrot Top.
02:19:56.000We used to do these prom shows at Dangerfields.
02:20:00.000So when I first moved to New York City, Dangerfields was one of the clubs that I worked at the most because it was like, first of all, I couldn't believe it was Rodney Dangerfield's club and they actually filmed one of Dangerfield's specials there.
02:20:12.000So you were like a fan of Dangerfield.
02:20:17.000The prom shows would start at like 7 p.m.
02:20:19.000or whatever it was, and they would go on until 4 o'clock in the fucking morning.
02:20:23.000And it was kids, like from the Bronx and Staten Island.
02:20:26.000They'd come in on buses and limos, and they'd all be drunk, and they would fill up these fucking little clubs with these kids, and then just...
02:20:35.000Want you to do the same material the next show so the kids leave.
02:23:01.000We had a couple of guys, these knuckleheads who lived in Seattle, but we looked up to them because anyone that was an older brother or somebody in comedy was a big deal to us.
02:23:12.000And he had his own MySpace page and everything, and it was just this terrible robot.
02:23:15.000It was a trashcan that they just put a box head on, and they had like two buttons, like it was on a race car kind of thing, so it could only spin, and the eyes would light up, and then when you hit like a thing, it would make his mouth make a little line of lights.
02:23:29.000And the guy would just be in the back, a comedian would be in the back, reading his jokes off the notepad.
02:24:29.000Well, it's cool because you can get that robot to say things just like you can get South Park to say things because they're not real people.
02:24:33.000Oh, it's not me in the back with a microphone.
02:24:48.000It might have been an automated thing or something, but they thought it was so funny that someone tried to book them off of a video like that.
02:25:56.000And every comic made the same mistake where we came out and went, we tried to get, you know, comics, we try to play, we try to get around the rules a little bit.
02:26:04.000I was going, he told us we had to say the most fucked up joke first.
02:26:12.000And so I thought about just recording into my phone like a thing, and acting like I'm him as my first thing, and I was like, this isn't gonna go over well, I'm just gonna...