In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, Joe and I talk about AlphaBrain, a cognitive enhancing nootropic supplement that Joe has been taking for years. We talk about the benefits and drawbacks of nootropics and how they should be used in conjunction with other forms of mental health care. We also discuss the dangers of over the counter drugs like SSRIs and SSRMs, and the benefits of supplements like omega-3s and omega-6s. We also talk about some of the problems people have with them and how to deal with them, and why you should be using them if they are not working for you. Joe also talks about his experience with nootropic's and why he thinks they are a waste of money and what you should do if you're not getting the full benefits from them. The Joe Rogans Experience podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. If you go to the Fleshlight website and click on the link below, enter in the code ROGAN. You will save yourself a lot of money. We found out that the listeners who call into the show are much more likely to buy them than the average listener, and that the people that call in the website are much less likely to be interested in buying them than other nootropic products like AlphaBrain. AlphaBrain is a nootropic that can help you improve your day-to-day life and improve your brain function. We are running a double-blind placebo trial that will allow you to optimize your brain health and enhance your day to day life. Check out AlphaBrain! and much more! Check it out! Joe and Joe talk about what AlphaBrain does for you! The fleshlight podcast is a little bit of everything you need in your brain and brain health. and how it can help your brain improve your life and your brain. I hope you enjoy this podcast. Cheers, Joe -Joe Rogans podcast! - Joe -The Fleshlight Podcast. - The JOGAN Experience Podcast! -The Joesday Podcast . JOBAN Podcast, The JOBgan Experience, & the JOBGNE Podcast, JOBGAN Podcast, by The JOE Rogan Experience, by the JOE EXPERIENCE Podcast, and much, much, MUCH MORE! JOE'S PODCAST, by THE FUTURE, JOE
00:00:23.000The Joe Rogan Experience is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
00:00:27.000And if you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, You will save yourself a lot of money.
00:00:35.000We found out, 15% to be exact, we found out that the Joe Rogan experienced listeners who call into the fleshlight are much more likely to buy them, the people that click on the website, much more likely to buy them than the average listener.
00:03:52.000So I'm not even sure when it kicks in.
00:03:54.000I wish there should be, though, somebody that regulates all of these to make sure that you should be able to take what you're taking and alpha brain, you know, like mixing that kind of shit.
00:04:05.000Well, with vitamins, you don't have to worry about that shit, but what you can worry about is when you get into, like, compounded drugs and...
00:04:12.000And SSRIs, like the issue that a lot of people have had with taking NuMood, which is another supplement we have, which is a 5-HTP supplement.
00:04:21.000And 5-HTP, there are issues that people have that are taking antidepressants.
00:04:26.000So if you're taking an antidepressant, essentially it's giving you a bunch of dopamine, a bunch of serotonin, rather.
00:04:32.000And it's giving it to you, like the antidepressants are, you're getting it from the antidepressants, and you're also getting it from the 5-HTP. Which is really, basically, a natural antidepressant.
00:04:44.000I mean, the word antidepressant, I mean, what is really going on?
00:04:47.000Well, what's really going on is when you're depressed, your serotonin is down.
00:04:50.000It doesn't necessarily mean that your life is any different, but now, all of a sudden, you're enjoying it.
00:04:56.000And there's a big debate on that, you know?
00:04:58.000There's a big debate on whether that's smart and whether or not A lot of people are taking antidepressants and fucking with their brain chemistry when what is really going on is they're in a shit stage of their life and if they can learn by these bad feelings and learn by the lessons they could possibly move to a better place in life where you know you eliminate all these things that are making you feel bad improve upon all these areas that you have real problems with and then you won't have these bad feelings all the time you won't be quote unquote depressed but I know people that have had fucked up
00:05:28.000lives man That have used antidepressants and gotten themselves back on track and then weaned themselves off of it and are really happy today.
00:05:35.000I have a friend that for, you know, he was on the verge of committing suicide, he said.
00:05:40.000He was super, super depressed, terrible life, terrible childhood, you know, very abusive childhood.
00:05:45.000But when he got on antidepressants, he got his shit together.
00:05:49.000And then once he got his shit together, he met his wife, he fell in love, he started a business, became very successful with his business, then slowly weaned himself off the antidepressants.
00:07:36.000Because I feel like I've seen it recently.
00:07:39.000My point about all this alpha brain, all this supplement stuff, is anything that I'm telling you about is something that I use and I believe in.
00:07:49.000I'm selling these things because they're legit, because I support them, because I use them, I get the benefits from them, I believe in them, and then, after all that, we make money from them.
00:09:53.000Like I said, I've eaten like shit for a few days.
00:09:55.000And especially as I get older, I really feel it much more now than when I was 20. When I was 20, I felt like I could eat a cheeseburger and then go work out.
00:10:03.000And it wouldn't even hardly bother me that much.
00:10:05.000But now, every little thing has to be in order for my body to feel smelly.
00:12:16.000There's too many uncomfortable moments in yoga.
00:12:19.000Well, what's really uncomfortable is when you talk to them and they bring up like crystals and energy and that's where yoga crosses the line.
00:12:25.000It crosses the line into fuckery when you start worshiping rocks and the energy that come off these rocks and you start, you know, sacred this and sacred that.
00:12:35.000Unless you're fucking around and you say sacred.
00:12:38.000You know, you have to be fucking around.
00:12:40.000Or talking about, like, war or something like that.
00:14:40.000Well, one is iPhone has a problem that no one has been talking about, I haven't seen, where the text messages are disappearing right in front of your eyes.
00:14:49.000Like, go sit there, open it up, and suddenly the text message just disappears.
00:14:51.000Well, I told you, you sent me a photo, and the photo vanished.
00:15:22.000And the second thing is the flash on Safari and Chrome and everything has been really horrible lately to the point where it's been freezing up my computer until I move the cursor down to the toolbar and then for some reason I don't have to click on anything.
00:15:35.000I just move the cursor down to the bottom and it unfreeze everything.
00:18:04.000If they wanted to try to get a bailout for the government because the economy went south, the government would be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:18:17.000Porn is now not making money because now the access to being able to do porn is so much easier.
00:18:24.000Radio station DJs aren't making as much money and they're failing because now podcasting has been able to reach easily.
00:18:30.000You can do it at your own house now and have your own radio show and that's just like TV. That's like every single thing ever now because everything's now more diluted.
00:18:38.000You're more It's more accurate to what you want to see.
00:18:41.000I want to see a band that says two people are dead and the drummer's still alive.
00:18:46.000It's probably out there on the internet if that's your fetish, if that's your thing, if that's your music choice.
00:18:51.000Where before it was kind of like whatever you were pumped or whatever was available at the CD shop.
00:19:01.000Like porn is easier now because like me, I can now watch some girl that's a waitress in fucking Indiana, you know, put a dildo in her ass for free.
00:20:10.000And it's funny, like, the vibrators into the different countries, how they look, like, the ones that they were using really did seem like antiques, you know, like wooden or, you know, something like that.
00:20:21.000Then you click on Asia, and all those girls, they're either Vietnam, where they're using bamboo sticks and stuff like that, or they're actually Japanese, where they have these high-tech vibrators.
00:20:34.000Ones you've never seen before that look like fucking dolphins with hats on.
00:25:01.000Marijuana use doesn't bum me out, man.
00:25:03.000But when I see a chick with a cigarette, I'm like, sweet.
00:25:05.000There's this black girl, I wish I could remember her name on it, and she never really shows her face too much, but she has a hot body, and she always has this huge fucking dildo just suction cupped onto the coffee table, and the camera's always just her butt just teasing it, like she's just gonna take the whole thing, but she talks like...
00:25:24.000Oh my god, I'm such a bad little girl, daddy.
00:27:34.000I'm sure there's other websites that are a lot better, like MyFreeCamps that does not pay the girls as good as a lot of the other websites.
00:29:42.000You could be a guy and you could be the male equivalent to Cindy Crawford, bone structure-wise, handsome-wise, and still wind up fucking broken alone.
00:30:34.000Yeah, but you know, a lot of these girls in these rooms are not even hot at all, but that even makes it hotter because this girl looks like somebody that would never do this and she's doing it.
00:30:55.000I think I've always, like, Anthony, from Opie and Anthony, there used to be this website that I used to be addicted to that he's always talking about.
00:31:09.000I used to pay for a membership for PalTalk, and one of the best things is while the show used to go on, these girls that were fans of Opie and Anthony would just be sitting there shoving vibrators in their butt, and all of us would be watching.
00:31:20.000Even while they're doing a radio show, everyone would be watching that shit also.
00:31:25.000Didn't you show me that once at the tattoo place?
00:34:12.000And the idea was Warner Brothers' executive idea.
00:34:15.000His idea was if I came up with a song, then they could play something on the radio and it would help sell the CD. So the song was about voodoo pussy.
00:39:56.000That's a taboo subject because rape itself obviously is a deplorable act.
00:40:02.000But the fact remains that there are girls that get turned on by that deplorable act.
00:40:07.000There's girls that have these fantasies of finding themselves in the wrong place and the wrong time and a fucking pack of wild thugs come out with 14-inch cocks and just force her to suck their dicks while one guy bangs her from behind.
00:42:31.000I always feel like, you know, especially back in the day when you did a lot of drugs and stuff, I always thought these girls were just gonna snap out of it and forget what they're doing and start biting it.
00:42:40.000A masculine flashback and chomp down on your ball bag.
00:42:45.000Some guy recently got bit on the balls by, I think it was a cop got bit on the balls by a convict.
00:42:54.000Guy wouldn't let go of his balls either.
00:42:56.000He was biting them through the pants like they had the guy let go.
00:44:10.000Cat died and to remember him he liked to make helicopters or something like that and so he turned his cat into a helicopter.
00:44:19.000He stuffed it and it made like his paws like spread out kind of like you know that's like doing a snowman in the snow and each one of them had like a helicopter fan on it and then so he sits there and flies this dead cat around and at first I watched it and I was horrified and then I was like This is the coolest thing in the whole entire world.
00:44:38.000I hope this catches on, because I could just imagine a bunch of cats, helicopters flying in the sky, and that would be cool if it became popular.
00:45:24.000Or actually get the clear film companies that do the iPad clear films to make a clear armor, like have an armor for your cat where it's just some kind of crystallized shit.
00:46:19.000We must have some sort of a weird deal with the government, or the government won't say anything.
00:46:24.000We're sending spaceships into their air.
00:46:27.000I mean, we're sending some science fiction things that we're controlling from halfway around the world with a remote control, and they're launching missiles.
00:46:36.000I mean, it's really crazy that they're allowed to do that.
00:46:39.000Look, I'm 100% in support in getting rid of bad guys and taking all the terrorists out and all that happy horse shit, the legit terrorists.
00:46:47.000But this is a crazy little precedent to set that you're allowing spaceships to fly around and launch missiles.
00:46:55.000Hellfire, bunker buster fucking missiles at these people.
00:47:28.000That's what you hear on the radio, or drone attack on CNN. But you don't really stop and think about what the fuck that means.
00:47:36.000There's a remote-controlled flying object that launches missiles at people, and they're watching a camera through it, We're halfway around the world, pressing buttons and launching these things.
00:47:48.000The technology is just, it's amazing what they can do now.
00:47:52.000Then that one that crashed in Iran, there was another moment where life feels like a fake movie, where they fucking captured our shit and Obama goes to the news and talks about it.
00:51:42.000Now they have cars like the new Porsche, the 991, which is the new 911. The new Porsche 911 that just came out can stop from, I think it's 60 miles an hour to zero in less than 100 feet.
00:53:05.000I was either thinking about selling my car because my car gets horrible gas mileage and getting something like that because I'm about to pay off my car finally and I'm like, oh, I finally own this piece of shit.
00:53:15.000But, and get something like that, or just get a really shitty small car, like something like one of those little baby Fiats, or you know, like the teeny little cheap cars.
00:53:24.000Well, dude, if you wanted to get a Mustang, if you wanted to trade your Ford in, because maybe Ford would give you a good deal.
00:54:28.000I mean, it doesn't handle as good as a car with independent rear suspension, but the Mustang 302, the Boss 302, it laps racetracks faster than that Audi R8. You know that Audi space-looking car that Everlast has?
00:55:26.000What, the little sports car thing they have?
00:55:29.000But you don't get that kind of performance.
00:55:31.000You don't get 400 plus horsepower like you get in a Mustang.
00:55:34.000You know, you're just not going to get that.
00:55:38.000You're not going to get that kind of oomph, you know?
00:55:41.000It's like, if you want a fast car that's a foreign car, there's a few Japanese cars that are pretty quick, you know, like the 370Zs, pretty quick, but they can't fuck with this Mustang.
00:55:54.000But then you've got to get to big money like the Nissan GT-R, which is like $100,000.
00:56:18.000And it's funny because I went on the first one I went on was the Terminator 2 ride, which, you know, it's been a while since that movie came out.
00:56:39.000And then you're sitting there with all these people, and the door is shut, and you're just like, alright, this is where the gas comes out, and we all get murdered.
00:57:56.000Do doctors do remote control operations?
00:57:58.000Yeah, I think it's at the very beginning stages, but there has been successful operations where they've done that from remote locations and stuff like that, using advanced computers and robots.
00:58:17.000So then I was really scared, though, because I was really figuring out how...
00:58:23.000Shitty this ride was I'm like damn this, you know, why does Universal have this but then you go into the next room and you watch this really old 3d movie and the 3d was really good, you know Right for its age and then there's this one point where there's also live actors mixed in like like in the theater so like like this guy would come out in a like a motorcycle and then like He had like a shotgun and he'll shoot somebody like a real like like that like holy shit that you could hear it sound like a gunshot and And then he'll like disappear off
00:58:53.000the stage and it looks like he goes back into the 3D movie.
00:59:21.000And then there was the Simpsons ride where you...
00:59:25.000It was a virtual roller coaster where, you know, it's one of those things where the whole thing moves, but you go into this, like, fucking dome where the whole dome is a movie, and it's really trippy.
00:59:35.000If I want to do shrooms and do that, because I think I'll die and go to heaven.
00:59:39.000Because you go into this huge room, and you're like, holy shit!
00:59:43.000And then you feel like you're going through this roller coaster.
01:00:03.000You know, I was scared, but I was thinking of other things because I was like, holy shit, is this one of those elevator drop rides where you drop?
01:00:10.000Because I thought I was going to freak out.
01:00:12.000It is weird how they can pull that effect off while just showing you a screen and then moving things around.
01:02:09.000Wow, it's incredible what they thought the future was going to be like.
01:02:12.000The style of that movie was so amazing.
01:02:14.000Well, even like the old Alien, like, I'm fucking psyched.
01:02:17.000Prometheus is coming out this weekend.
01:02:18.000But if you watch the original Alien, you know, when they were on that spaceship, what a bunch of whack-ass fucking fake equipment they had.
01:02:27.000Everything was all lights and shit, and the monitors, these shitty little green tint monitors.
01:02:33.000Because essentially this is before the user interface, the graphic user interface that we think of as computers today.
01:02:41.000Everybody thinks of a Mac or a PC and clicking on things.
01:02:44.000There was no clicking on anything back then.
01:02:47.000What people don't understand is the first computers when the movie Alien came out, they were like, it was all just like green print on a screen.
01:03:55.000I mean, the Note is cool because it's a small tablet and I think, I'm pretty sure, my money is all on that Apple is releasing a smaller version of the iPad that will kind of compete with the Note because they're gonna use it also as a remote control for their new TV. That will come out soon.
01:06:20.000When you can send images and ones and zeros, and you send them through the air, and there's something else that picks them up and receives them...
01:06:40.000When someone's like Wi-Fi and like crazy near you, are you getting pelted by like random information as it makes its way from the internet somehow or another into their computer?
01:06:53.000Is it passing through your dimension at all?
01:06:55.000I mean, that is like some interdimensional fucking transportation of, I mean, the physical object of a piece of paper that you print and you turn, you know, into a photograph that you just got from the internet.
01:07:07.000I mean, that is a way where something physical just gets created and it wasn't there before.
01:07:16.000Like, that is, that's a crazy thing, man.
01:07:18.000It's really crazy that we can just do that.
01:07:20.000And we just don't even think about the fact there's television signals and radio signals and internet signals and cell phone signals and all these different signals going around.
01:07:28.000And I don't know if they're affecting us.
01:08:51.000I hope if anyone that designs these Fords and these awesome new cars with these new stereos that have these apps like Stitcher, it's called Sync for Ford.
01:09:00.000I have that, but there's no way to upgrade it so I can get that shit.
01:11:26.000Why don't you put them back in and make them bigger and no talking?
01:11:31.000She was on Howard Stern yesterday, and I forgot about her, you know, because she married Jim Carrey, and you're just kind of like, right, she's dead to me.
01:13:50.000He thought that it was his daughter for the longest time.
01:13:53.000Then a DNA test reveals it was Sam Kinison's kid.
01:13:56.000You just think of his wife just laying there and letting fat Sam climb on top of her and shoot his loads inside of her and go, what kind of a fucking friendship did they have?
01:14:07.000What kind of a world were they living in?
01:14:10.000What kind of decadence and depravity, what kind of Hollywood chaos was going on?
01:14:16.000Where Kinison was just banging his friend's best friend, opening act, wife on the side, and shooting loads into her.
01:14:25.000It amazes me that dude got a lot of fucking pussy.
01:14:29.000He was on the Howard Stern calling and he had four girls in his bed.
01:14:58.000See, I didn't see that because I was into the comedy scene and I only knew what I saw on TV. And I always thought the big guys were like Robin Williams and Eddie Murphy.
01:16:14.000Anyway, we were all there and George Carlin had this weird thing that he was doing where he just had like a notepad and he was just reading off, fuck this and fuck that.
01:16:28.000It was like this whole, and fuck Israel and fuck this and fuck, like the whole bit was like, it wasn't really working.
01:22:08.000For a movie that sucked, a big fat bag of Wildly considered to be one of the biggest box office bombs of all times.
01:22:16.000Although it grossed $255 million from a $175 million budget, this does not factor in marketing and distribution charges or percentage of the gross that theaters keep, which is up to 45%.
01:22:29.000The film came to be nicknamed Kevin's Gate after Heaven's Gate and Fishtar after Ishtar, two mega bombs.
01:25:15.000And they didn't have a booth at this year's E3 because I was originally, because I'm going to E3 tomorrow and I wanted to talk to them about UFC and all that crap.
01:25:23.000And they were like, we don't have a booth.
01:25:28.000Yeah, I think, you know, THQ did a really good job with that game.
01:25:32.000And THQ, I thought, you know, with Saints Row, I mean, Saints Row just released a map pack that Ryan Keighley, who does, you know, podcasts with me, she's in the new map pack.
01:25:42.000So they're actually combining video games with Penthouse now, which I thought was cool.
01:26:14.000Like, there's all sorts of different versions of, you know, things that you do and, like, transitions, like arm bar to knee bar, transition from the triangle to the arm bar, like, all that different kind of stuff.
01:26:26.000Like, we voice them all individually, you know, so it's...
01:26:32.000It's really kind of crazy that you look at that thing, that remote control, and you're supposed to be able to figure that out down here and up there and left and push this and push that.
01:28:27.000I think they saw when UFC, all the heat from UFC. Those guys fucking work.
01:28:35.000That's the one thing that it really puts in perspective when you hang out with a guy like Cliffy B. You go to the Epic Games studio, like when we went down there, or if you go to THQ and you see the hours that we put in the video game, pretty minuscule.
01:28:47.000I mean, I could complain at like six hours of sitting there going, he's rocked!
01:28:51.000But the reality is that's not a hard job.
01:28:54.000But these fucking guys are working long hours every day.
01:28:58.000And then, when things don't go well, they just get laid off.
01:29:04.000Jesus Christ, ladies and gentlemen, the technology here is just ridiculous.
01:29:10.000We had an issue here at the Rogan compound with, at one point in time, the router kept fucking up and I would have to reboot it twice a day.
01:29:23.000So today we replaced everything and yet the same thing happened.
01:29:32.000Well, the router was shitting out, so I replaced the router today, and it shit out.
01:29:37.000You mean the router they give you, you had replaced?
01:29:40.000No, because my house has a system, and there's Ethernet jacks all throughout the house, so you can get online anywhere.
01:29:48.000When I bought this house, wireless wasn't that big.
01:29:52.000and then now we set it up wired but so there's in the garage is like a big box that has all this these wires going into it and this giant big ass router that runs everything it's unnecessarily complicated but that's the way you want to have it if you have a house that has you know if you want Ethernet ports in your house you kind of have to have it they all the wires have to go to some why don't you just do wireless you can but it wasn't won't work for the whole house You
01:30:22.000can get those little repeaters everywhere throughout your house.
01:33:41.000And there's some investigation, but they won't turn over the records because they say it would compromise national security.
01:33:49.000So the Pentagon is allowed, the only people in the world, apparently, that are allowed to watch kiddie porn because they can download it and, look, we know what we're doing.
01:34:58.000In 2006, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, which conducts internet pornography investigations, produced a list of 5,200 Pentagon employees suspected of viewing child pornography.
01:35:35.000The suspected of viewing child pornography and asked the Pentagon to review it, but the Pentagon checked only two-thirds of the names, unearthing roughly 300 defense and intelligence employees who allegedly had viewed child pornography on their work or home computers.
01:35:51.000The defense investigators failed to check an additional 1,700 names on the list.
01:35:56.000Defense officials have revealed in correspondence with Senator Charles Grassley, Republican of Iowa.
01:36:03.000Probably they found out that their systems were hacked, and all these employees didn't look at child porn, and then halfway through searching all of them, they're like, no, we just got hacked.
01:36:12.000That could be it, and they could not want to bring that up because they don't want to admit they got hacked.
01:38:25.000So it wasn't that, you know, the Vatican had child porn.
01:38:31.000It was that they got rid of a guy who had child porn.
01:38:34.000But then there was the whole issue of the guy who was the actual Pope himself, Ratzinger.
01:38:42.000Ratzinger, Pope Benedict, whatever the fuck he was.
01:38:44.000When he was a bishop or whatever silly name they like to give themselves, whatever the hell he was, he was in charge of following up on cases of child molestation.
01:38:56.000And it's clear, clear evidence that he...
01:38:59.000And he tried to divert the investigation and really slacked off on it and then got rid of the guy.
01:39:09.000Aided in getting rid of the guy who they were going after.
01:39:13.000They had all sorts of little things they would do.
01:39:15.000A guy would get busted banging kids and they would just move him to another place.
01:39:19.000Like, that's been the standard protocol of the Catholic Church for the longest time.
01:39:23.000Whenever someone, a cardinal, gets caught and gets in trouble, they just move them to some other place.
01:40:09.000There was a story where a former bishop said that a girl who turned up missing was taken by the Vatican and they used her as a sex slave and killed her.
01:41:07.000He died in 2008. A year later, the Orthodox Order confessed that he had fathered three children with two different women and that he had abused his seminarians.
01:41:19.000There's an arrogance that a lot of these dudes have when they become priests that they feel like everybody kisses their ass.
01:41:43.000You go to Baptist churches and everybody's laughing and giggling and little babies are crying.
01:41:48.000They'll smack a baby in a Catholic church.
01:41:50.000Nobody wants little kids crying out in a Catholic church.
01:41:55.000It's like a harsh environment, and the priests are, yes, Father, Father, everyone's talking to them, Father, and everyone's real nervous to be around them.
01:42:04.000Especially the old ones, they have this arrogance about them, which is really strange.
01:42:09.000You're just some creepy old queer in a fucking weird outfit.
01:42:13.000You can't come out of the closet, and you're You know, spouting off nonsense and everybody's kissing your ass.
01:42:18.000So you've gotten confused and you really do believe that you're above everyone else.
01:42:23.000Like, they have a weird fucking sense of entitlement.
01:42:26.000It's very strange talking to a lot of priests.
01:45:09.000If you look at, like, if you think about the churches that are involved with the most fucked up accusations, the Catholic Church is at the top of that list.
01:45:27.000Guilt and anxiety and suffering and the feeling rather that you are a failure and that you are inadequate and that you will never measure up and you're a sinner in the eyes of God.
01:45:43.000First grade I did a full year of Catholic school and we went to church when I was like six or seven and we went to church on a regular basis all the time and it was hellacious.
01:46:15.000I remember, I really clearly remember being in the middle of class while the teacher was doing something crazy and they were talking about something crazy.
01:46:40.000It's like not being molested, but as a child you were exposed to something that's probably not positive at all as an adult.
01:46:49.000Mental molestation and a huge percentage of Catholics go through that shit.
01:46:53.000I mean, I've talked to kids who went to Catholic school who didn't have a bad time, but most of them, a good percentage of them, had a gruesome experience.
01:47:01.000With the soul sapping, they just suck the life out of you.
01:47:05.000And that's why the Catholics are so crazy.
01:47:27.000They have to sprint for Dick as soon as the light turns green.
01:47:30.000They don't get to see Dick all day at school and flirt around with them and make friends with them and pass notes in class.
01:47:36.000No, all day it's this boiling pot of pussy.
01:47:39.000This big boiling mass of estrogen and female hormones and then the light turns green and they run out the door and just dive on a cock like a patriotic soldier on a grenade.
01:47:53.000They can't wait to get some dick in them.
01:47:55.000This poor fucking girl that I dated in high school, her and her sister were both the biggest pigs.
01:48:01.000And they both went to Catholic school.
01:48:04.000And then there was another one who was like a prude who went to public school.
01:50:37.000I didn't even think that was possible when I lived in Boston.
01:50:40.000I thought, you know, based on my own personal experience, I was like, this is just some shit you gotta do to get some pussy, and then run away from them as quick as you can.
01:50:55.000Plus, if you're trying to do anything else while you're a kid, you don't really have the time for a real relationship.
01:51:01.000You know, if you're going to high school and you're trying to pursue something, like if you're pursuing a sport or trying to be in a band or anything you're trying to do where you're throwing all of your possible energy at that, your amount of time that you have for relationships is...
01:51:18.000I was watching that old movie, Howard Stern, Private Parts, and he, in that movie, had a part with his old wife, Beth, where Beth was like...
01:51:38.000But Allison was like saying, like, yeah, I never have time.
01:51:40.000You only, you know, have time for your radio show and blah, blah, blah, and everything's...
01:51:44.000And I'm thinking, like, shit, you know, that's the same how I feel right now, because I'm putting everything in one basket with doing podcasting and all that crap.
01:53:32.000This guy came up to me the other day in Edmonton, and he was telling me how he's much nicer to people now, and he takes the time to tip more and be nicer, and it's changed his whole way of life.
01:55:25.000The key to the whole thing is balance, and it's a constant struggle.
01:55:29.000If I slip for a couple weeks, if I don't go in the tank for a couple weeks, if I don't write for a couple weeks, I can go a week without working out.
01:55:38.000Anytime I do anything where I throw off the balance and I don't do the work that I'm supposed to put in, I feel the difference.
01:55:45.000I feel less capable when I sit down and write again.
01:56:04.000Even one week, I have to go up and kill it.
01:56:09.000I have to go up and throw my new shit out there.
01:56:13.000I have to go up and record it and go back and listen to it.
01:56:15.000If I don't do that, I feel like I'm wasting something.
01:56:19.000I feel like I feel like I've been gifted with an incredible opportunity, an incredible moment in time, an incredibly fortunate and fortuitous roll of the dice.
01:56:32.000And I feel like it's an insult to the gods if you enjoy that, but then you neglect it and you let it rot away when you got it right there.
01:56:43.000It's like when I get on stage now, when I'm at my best, And, you know, and I'm killing and people came to see the show and they come out to the show and they say, oh my god, my stomach hurt and it was the funniest shit I ever saw.
02:00:14.000When you're from the best, and you can talk all the shit you want about other empires, but they can all suck America's dick.
02:00:21.000There's never been anything like America.
02:00:24.000We're lucky, I guess, you want to look at it that way, that we're born here in this crazy machine.
02:00:33.000But if you look at empires, like the Roman Empire, the Persian Empire, any empires that tried to conquer the world, nobody did nothing like what we're doing.
02:00:43.000And we're denying that we're an empire.
02:00:45.000We're right in the middle of it, military presence in over 100 different countries.
02:00:50.000And we're like, we're just trying to be nice.
02:00:53.000When you have that kind of a country and there's so much military power and the whole world kind of like – Think about how many assholes just act like douchebags because their team wins.
02:01:05.000You know, like when the Lakers win the championships and dudes are driving down the street, we're number one, bitch!
02:04:41.000They got to circle them and drop water on them and shit.
02:04:44.000Have you ever seen them scoop down and get the water?
02:04:47.000Yeah, because when there was fires in Burbank, because I also experienced one in Burbank, there was a fire at the Hollywood Mountain two years ago or a year ago.
02:04:55.000And I guess there's a big water scoop for helicopters on the top of the mountain there.
02:04:58.000They just sat there and watched them scoop out of a big pool, like a swimming pool almost.
02:05:03.000When I first came here, there was a big fire in the Hollywood Hills.
02:05:06.000It's a fucking really nice area of the Hollywood Hills, and we were watching it from the Virgin Megastore.
02:05:11.000There was that little area out front where Wolfgang Puck's...
02:05:15.000I don't know if it still is there, but it used to be there.
02:05:17.000We were sitting there watching these helicopters drop fire on this building.
02:05:22.000And I just kept thinking, what a strange world we live in where we take something like fire for granted.
02:05:27.000And here it is, just eating its way through the earth.
02:05:37.000Like, it takes a long time to put out a fucking fire.
02:05:40.000They're trying, but they have these giant fucking planes.
02:05:43.000They have to go down, scoop up the water, fly over, and poof!
02:05:47.000It's like they shoot a little tiny water load on the fire, and then right back to it.
02:05:51.000It takes a long fucking time to actually put the fire out.
02:05:55.000And most likely some houses are going to get jacked and there's nothing they can do about it.
02:05:58.000And all those houses inside of them have electricity.
02:06:02.000This other crazy power thing that we totally take for granted is fucking pulsating energy through the wires of the house that powers your internet and powers your fucking lights.
02:06:13.000And our life would suck tremendous cock if we didn't have it.
02:08:03.000How dare he try to pretend he wrote those jokes?
02:08:06.000Yeah, guys, when they're writing, when they're doing, like, roasts and shit like that, that's when, you know, there's a lot of comics that make a good living just doing writing and punch-up, stuff like that.
02:08:17.000You know what's weird is that I don't even realize this, but, like, two of my good friends, Pete and Tony, who both help us out almost every Ice House Chronicles, they're both from Ohio, and they're like, it's weird that I'm almost, I feel like I'm, like, getting pushed toward them.
02:08:31.000Yeah, because of the Ohio, they both kind of grew up the same.
02:08:34.000You all have stunted emotional development.
02:10:49.000I had this weird thing happen to me the last two days where I have been giggly and silly and fucking really high energy and really happy.
02:11:01.000Giggly happy like I was running around poking people with straws last night like a little kid and then and then it just went away and I came back to normal and I was like What was that all about like it almost felt like there was some kind of government up in me It was a way to tune into your frequency It was weird, though, because it was like, have I been going through, like, a long-time depression and that was just, like, a bump out of it, you know, or something like that?
02:11:27.000Or have I been, like, you know, lacking something in my head or diet or something like that, and I just had whatever had, like, a normalcy for a while?
02:11:36.000Because I felt like I was like, wow, if I felt like this every day, I would fucking...
02:15:58.000So anybody who has any insight as to what's the best, most comfortable chairs, within reason, I guess probably those gravity chairs from Relax the Back.
02:22:01.000Yeah, dude, but I mean, just if you had to ask, would I rather sit down for three hours with your feet up and comfortable or bouncing on this office chair, you know?
02:25:47.000This one's not a Lazy Boy, but if you go look at this one, it's called the Wickenburg Bonded Leather Rocker Recliner in Brown, where it's just a big old puffy Lazy Boy chair.
02:25:59.000That looks fucking comfortable as fuck.
02:26:00.000That looks like something you sit in before you suck a cock.
02:26:18.000Oh, it's only got three stars, though.
02:26:20.000This recliner comes with AIDS. If you had Lazy Boy recliners though, do you think that it would change the overall tone of a podcast and make people too comfortable, lethargic?
02:28:21.000I think we just need one of the Silver Bullet trailers, and we pimp that motherfucker out, and then we could have the fucking studio anywhere the fuck we want.
02:28:54.000And you can have this anywhere you want to go.
02:28:57.000Like, if you want to go to fucking San Diego, if you want to fucking I do like the idea of having something that you could bring with you, like something that you could tow with you.
02:29:07.000But really, if we were going to do that, why would we get a studio?
02:30:45.000The thing about this, though, is if you get towed, if you have one of those that gets towed, then you don't even talk to the guy that's driving.
02:35:56.000So he's going to show us pictures and tell us things.
02:35:58.000So it'll be a little weird for the folks that are just listening, but we'll explain it as best we can.
02:36:03.000And if you don't know who John Anthony West is, he's one of my personal heroes.
02:36:05.000He's an Egyptologist, a fascinating, brilliant guy who is the producer of a video series called Magical Egypt, which is one of the most comprehensive video series on ancient Egypt and especially like the hidden symbolism involved in hieroglyphs which is one of the most comprehensive video series on ancient Egypt and especially like the hidden symbolism involved in hieroglyphs and the construction I mean, really amazing, amazing stuff.
02:37:27.000Like I said before, I appreciate the fuck out of it and there's not a moment where I'm taking any of this for granted.
02:37:34.000We're going to keep this bitch rolling.
02:37:36.000Thanks to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast.
02:37:39.000Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, and save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
02:37:47.000Thank you also to Onnit.com, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood.
02:37:54.000We will have kettlebells and protein powder made out of hemp and raw cocoa and maca coming soon.
02:38:02.000Got a lot of good stuff on the horizon.
02:38:04.000And that's all for today, you dirty bitches.
02:38:08.000So we'll see you on Thursday with Uriah Faber, and then Friday will be John Anthony West.
02:38:13.000Today, if you're wondering if you're somewhere in the future, and you have just stumbled upon this podcast, it is June 5th, 2012. Would have been better if I said 2000 without slurring.