The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2257 - Bryan Callen

00:00:00.000 The Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day My wife I smoked one of these and I didn't brush my teeth I woke up the next morning and my wife said, your breath is four-dimensional.

00:00:21.000 He didn't brush your teeth before you went to bed and he smoked a cigar.

00:00:24.000 Of course I didn't brush my teeth before I went to bed.

00:00:25.000 Give a fuck.

00:00:27.000 You know what I mean?

00:00:27.000 You're married, you're married.

00:00:28.000 She was like, I love you so much.

00:00:29.000 Your breath is four-dimensional.

00:00:31.000 You know, these fires.

00:00:34.000 I have two small children now.

00:00:35.000 Because what I want to do is, what you want to do is you want to get divorced and then you want to get married again to a woman who's 23 years younger and then have two more kids because that's good.

00:00:45.000 Definitely takes a lot of financial stress off your back.

00:00:48.000 Oh, dude, there's no financial stress at all.

00:00:50.000 It's great.

00:00:50.000 You know what?

00:00:51.000 If I hustle until I'm 80, I'll be fine.

00:00:52.000 Anyway, it's going to be really awkward when I call you at 75. I just need help this month.

00:01:00.000 But anyway, so I fucking...

00:01:03.000 I look at her and I go, she's like a girl from Jersey, like Irish-Italian chick, no nonsense, you know, been working since she was 16. And I go, you know, we had an evacuation order that they sent out by accident to people even down where I'm at.

00:01:17.000 Yeah, what was that?

00:01:18.000 It was some guy who...

00:01:20.000 Fucked up.

00:01:21.000 Because I don't know if you know, this is going to be shocking.

00:01:23.000 Grab the table.

00:01:24.000 Wait a minute.

00:01:24.000 LA's not run very well.

00:01:26.000 Hold on.

00:01:26.000 I know.

00:01:27.000 Hold on.

00:01:27.000 What the fuck are you saying?

00:01:28.000 See, here's the thing.

00:01:29.000 We have to worry about...

00:01:30.000 I know.

00:01:31.000 Isn't the chief of fire department a lesbian? 1.00

00:01:33.000 Now, hold on.

00:01:33.000 Let's not turn this into...

00:01:35.000 Listen, here's the bottom line.

00:01:36.000 It's run amazingly.

00:01:37.000 It's not about infrastructure.

00:01:38.000 Infrastructure's got to take...

00:01:39.000 I won't sit here while you disparage the great people that are running Los Angeles.

00:01:44.000 Sir, infrastructure's got to take a backseat to climate change and social justice and homeless abatement, which hasn't...

00:01:49.000 See, the lady who's responsible for filling the fire hydrants gets paid $750,000 a year. 1.00

00:01:55.000 Hey, your tax dollars going to good work there, everybody.

00:01:58.000 That's a lot of money.

00:01:59.000 You think?

00:01:59.000 That's sitcom money.

00:02:00.000 You think?

00:02:01.000 That's like, I'm the star of a sitcom.

00:02:03.000 Oh, dude.

00:02:04.000 It's a star.

00:02:04.000 But, like, you're the third person on a sitcom.

00:02:06.000 No, that's a high wage, sir.

00:02:08.000 $750,000 for a city employer?

00:02:10.000 For someone just like, fill that one.

00:02:14.000 How are the aquifers today?

00:02:16.000 Get the water in that one. 0.96

00:02:17.000 You know what?

00:02:18.000 We've got to protect the Delta smelt.

00:02:20.000 Whatever the fuck that is.

00:02:22.000 Trump was talking about that on the podcast.

00:02:25.000 On the podcast I did with him, Trump was going on this long rampage about Los Angeles and the fires and how it all can be prevented and they can have plenty of water.

00:02:36.000 He explained the whole thing and he's right.

00:02:38.000 Here's my whole philosophy.

00:02:40.000 You guys know that we have a tinderbox.

00:02:43.000 And you can say that there are a lot of people that live there.

00:02:46.000 The fires are always a potential.

00:02:48.000 If that's the case, then...

00:02:50.000 Please make sure the fire hydrants...

00:02:52.000 We've got to be able to figure it out.

00:02:55.000 California came up with AI. I mean, Silicon Valley was pretty innovative people.

00:03:00.000 Let's figure out a way to keep the fucking... 0.79

00:03:02.000 Very different people.

00:03:03.000 They are very different people, sir.

00:03:05.000 That's like saying people in America are homeless and also Elon Musk.

00:03:11.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:11.000 Well, get some people down in government who are innovative like that.

00:03:14.000 What the fuck are we doing?

00:03:15.000 They don't want to do that job! 0.90

00:03:16.000 Do you know the City Council of Los Angeles?

00:03:19.000 Four of the members of the city council are far-left social democrats.

00:03:23.000 How about that?

00:03:24.000 There's zero pushback on ideas.

00:03:28.000 It's just all ideology.

00:03:29.000 Yeah, it's all an echo chamber.

00:03:30.000 Well, I'm hoping now that this is a giant wake-up call for these people.

00:03:34.000 I mean, there's no positivity that's going to come out of a horrific fire like that.

00:03:40.000 But at least at a wake, because look, that area, you know, Adam Carolla was on someone's show talking about this, and he said something that's like very, I think he was actually doing it himself.

00:03:51.000 Yeah, about permits?

00:03:52.000 Yeah.

00:03:52.000 Well, he was just saying that there's...

00:03:55.000 80% of the people that live there are far left.

00:03:58.000 80% of the people that got their houses burned down from complete total incompetence and a lack of management.

00:04:03.000 Total incompetence.

00:04:05.000 80% of those people are far left people.

00:04:07.000 And that's a giant wake-up call when you realize, like, no, these fucking people, this is not the way to do it.

00:04:13.000 Did you see that lady, the fire lady, who's a part of this whole diversity thing?

00:04:18.000 They said, you're a woman firefighter. 1.00

00:04:20.000 Can you carry my husband out of a burning building?

00:04:23.000 She was like, well, if your husband's in a burning building, he already made a mistake.

00:04:27.000 Is that what she said?

00:04:28.000 She's a big, old, sassy, fat, black lady. 1.00

00:04:30.000 Yeah, my favorite was that one of the women said, you want people to look like you. 0.93

00:04:35.000 Same lady. 0.95

00:04:35.000 And I'm like, hey, listen, hey, lady, when my house is on fire and I'm trying to get my kids out, I'm not going to be like, hey, can I get some people that look like me? 0.95

00:04:44.000 Because this doesn't make me feel...

00:04:46.000 I want to look like Brian Shaw.

00:04:47.000 So do I. They can be white as a driven snow.

00:04:52.000 If they look like a white walker and they can get me out of that fucking fire, I'm in. 1.00

00:04:56.000 I want Brian Shaw.

00:04:56.000 It's supposed to be a giant dude who can carry people.

00:04:59.000 Yeah, with a mustache that goes like this.

00:05:01.000 Yeah, a fucking handlebar.

00:05:02.000 I love firemen.

00:05:03.000 I'm so gay that when I saw they came by, I saw some firemen, and I didn't know what to do.

00:05:09.000 I wanted to say something like, go get them, guys!

00:05:12.000 Or something like that, and I literally went like this.

00:05:14.000 I went, I saluted them.

00:05:17.000 I went, that's good.

00:05:18.000 It's a little embarrassing.

00:05:19.000 It's an acknowledgement.

00:05:21.000 Yeah, but my wife is so funny because my wife is very handy. 1.00

00:05:25.000 And we had an evacuation order.

00:05:26.000 I looked at her and I go, I've got to go do Joe's podcast and then shoot my special at the mothership.

00:05:31.000 But I feel guilty about leaving you here.

00:05:33.000 And she goes, what are you going to do?

00:05:36.000 You can't change a tire.

00:05:38.000 I got this.

00:05:39.000 I was like, all right, see you later.

00:05:42.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:05:43.000 I would have felt weird about leaving them too, even though you're in a safe space.

00:05:47.000 I'm in an area where I'm good.

00:05:48.000 Yeah, you're good for now.

00:05:50.000 This is the thing about L.A. that, you know, there's a viral clip that's going around now of a conversation that I had with Sam Morrell a while back.

00:05:59.000 And we were talking about, when I was on Fear Factor, how this fireman told me that this was going to happen one day.

00:06:06.000 He said, it's just a matter of time.

00:06:07.000 With the right wind, he's like, we won't be able to stop it.

00:06:10.000 Now that's gone viral.

00:06:11.000 And then the Trump thing went viral, too.

00:06:15.000 Because Trump was saying that they need to do something to change this.

00:06:20.000 They need to clean up the forest.

00:06:21.000 Get rid of all the dead wood.

00:06:23.000 All these things could be done.

00:06:25.000 Get rid of all the brush.

00:06:26.000 Get rid of all the dead wood.

00:06:27.000 Open up that fucking water from the north to come down. 0.59

00:06:31.000 This idea that...

00:06:32.000 Do you know that the whole center of California used to be a lake?

00:06:37.000 No.

00:06:37.000 A giant lake?

00:06:38.000 No.

00:06:39.000 Bro, I found out about it about a year ago.

00:06:41.000 Really?

00:06:42.000 It's crazy.

00:06:43.000 Young Jamie, wait till you see how big this fucking lake was.

00:06:48.000 And all of it, all of the, is all meddling and fucking around by humans. 0.71

00:06:54.000 Did I ever tell you the conversation I had with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

00:06:57.000 I was with John Leguizamo.

00:06:59.000 Did he say, screw your freedom?

00:07:00.000 No, he didn't say, this is before that.

00:07:03.000 I was doing that movie.

00:07:03.000 Screw your freedom.

00:07:05.000 Screw your freedom.

00:07:07.000 He said, this is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp.

00:07:12.000 Life is kind of like a book, and every new year is the start of a new chapter.

00:07:17.000 Except in this case, the pages are blank, and you can write whatever the fuck you want. 0.53

00:07:22.000 Maybe you're working towards buying a new home, maybe you want to learn how to garden or pick up hunting, or maybe you want to work on your relationships.

00:07:30.000 However you want your story to play out, it's going to take work, dedication, and a little bit of help.

00:07:36.000 Even the greatest authors have an editorial partner to bounce ideas off, and that's nothing.

00:07:42.000 To be ashamed about.

00:07:43.000 If you need some help living the life you want, therapy is always a great place to start.

00:07:48.000 Therapy is for everyone, not just people who've gone through a major trauma.

00:07:52.000 It can teach you valuable skills like how to cope with stress, how to communicate better, how to set boundaries, and more.

00:07:59.000 one of the best ways to get into therapy is BetterHelp.

00:08:03.000 It's entirely online, so it's easy to get started and more affordable, too.

00:08:07.000 And as the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

00:08:17.000 Write your story with BetterHelp.

00:08:20.000 Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com.

00:08:25.000 That's BetterHelp.com.jre.

00:08:30.000 So I'm with John Legazama.

00:08:32.000 We were doing that movie Ride Along.

00:08:34.000 And John goes, hey, stick around.

00:08:36.000 We'll have some dinner with a friend of mine that's coming by.

00:08:38.000 I didn't know who it was.

00:08:39.000 Arnold shows up with his assistant.

00:08:40.000 It's kind of cool.

00:08:41.000 And I'm a fan.

00:08:42.000 So we're sitting there.

00:08:43.000 And I had just read a book on California politics by Michael Lewis called Boomerang about sort of like how a lot of the towns like Stockton went broke because of the pension plans and all that shit.

00:08:55.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:08:56.000 I thought it was the Diaz brothers running around slapping people.

00:08:59.000 It is that, dude.

00:09:01.000 It is that, dude.

00:09:02.000 It's that, dude.

00:09:03.000 Check this out.

00:09:06.000 Look at the size of this lake.

00:09:08.000 Tulare Lake.

00:09:09.000 What?

00:09:10.000 Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi.

00:09:13.000 Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi.

00:09:16.000 What?

00:09:17.000 It used to be fucking huge.

00:09:19.000 Show a photo of what it used to look like.

00:09:22.000 So, it was all agriculture.

00:09:24.000 They fucked it up.

00:09:25.000 Oh, because they drained it, right?

00:09:27.000 Look at the size of it.

00:09:28.000 What the fuck?

00:09:29.000 Look how big it was!

00:09:30.000 What in the world?

00:09:31.000 Look how fucking big that is.

00:09:33.000 And now it's just gone.

00:09:33.000 Gone.

00:09:35.000 Apparently it's refilling.

00:09:36.000 Well, I guess we needed it to grow all the oranges, right?

00:09:40.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:09:41.000 I mean, you know.

00:09:42.000 We need it for almonds.

00:09:44.000 For the Owens Valley?

00:09:45.000 So I need the almond milk.

00:09:46.000 There's one amazing photograph of this guy who was squirting almond milk on the fire outside of his house because that's all he had.

00:09:54.000 Is that true?

00:09:55.000 He had two quarts of almond milk.

00:09:58.000 It's like this soy man, this literal human water balloon. 0.87

00:10:03.000 Oh, look at that.

00:10:04.000 God bless him.

00:10:05.000 God bless him.

00:10:06.000 Dude, that's when you're really trying.

00:10:08.000 That's when you're trying.

00:10:09.000 What is COVID mask on?

00:10:10.000 That's just a laugh.

00:10:11.000 That's a last stand, bro.

00:10:12.000 That's a last stand.

00:10:14.000 No, you should have been out.

00:10:15.000 You got to get out of there.

00:10:16.000 You got to accept it.

00:10:17.000 I've been evacuated three times.

00:10:18.000 Have you really?

00:10:19.000 Yeah, when I lived in Belle Canyon.

00:10:20.000 I got evacuated three times.

00:10:22.000 You know, it burnt two houses in front in 2018. Two houses in front of my old house were burnt to the ground.

00:10:29.000 Well, that video I showed you of my friend's house that just disappeared.

00:10:33.000 Remember I said in that video of him driving down to PCH? Those guys are coming to my house.

00:10:36.000 Because where I'm at is the only place where the air is breathable and all that.

00:10:41.000 Well, we have a barrier between the 405 and also the airport.

00:10:45.000 So it's really, we're pretty safe.

00:10:47.000 Yeah, pretty safe.

00:10:48.000 The thing about, I mean, this is from someone who's been through it a few times.

00:10:52.000 You don't understand.

00:10:53.000 You think it's just a fire.

00:10:54.000 It's not.

00:10:55.000 It's a storm.

00:10:56.000 Yeah.

00:10:56.000 So I saw fire tornadoes.

00:10:59.000 You did?

00:10:59.000 Yeah, I saw fire tornadoes.

00:11:01.000 When we were filming, we were filming on Fear Factor, and ironically, this was the same time where this fireman was explaining to me what's going to happen in LA. We were filming Fear Factor, and when we were driving back, the entire...

00:11:15.000 I watched the guy die.

00:11:16.000 What?

00:11:17.000 I watched the guy run across the highway and get hit by a car.

00:11:19.000 What the fuck?

00:11:20.000 Yeah, I didn't see him get hit by a car, but I saw him.

00:11:23.000 Jesus Christ.

00:11:23.000 He was...

00:11:25.000 And my producer, the producer of the show, apparently saw more.

00:11:29.000 He saw, like...

00:11:31.000 Graphic.

00:11:32.000 People were panicking.

00:11:34.000 There was ash falling from the sky like it was snowing.

00:11:38.000 It was crazy.

00:11:39.000 And everyone's driving and no one, everyone's got this like somber, like 50 mile an hour driving the entire right side of the highway for an hour.

00:11:49.000 What?

00:11:50.000 And you can feel that heat, right?

00:11:52.000 Yeah, we were filming off the 5, so we were like way up by, you know, like, as your head says, Bakersfield.

00:12:00.000 Bakersfield, like that.

00:12:01.000 Is that off the 5 or the 10?

00:12:02.000 Whatever the fuck it is.

00:12:04.000 We were pretty far away and it was a whole hour driving back where the whole right side of the highway was in flames.

00:12:13.000 I mean, completely engulfed like a Lord of the Rings movie where you're waiting for Sauron to come riding on an evil horse over the top of it.

00:12:21.000 It was nuts.

00:12:22.000 It was fucking nuts.

00:12:24.000 And you would see fire tornadoes, man.

00:12:27.000 The fire was fucking insane.

00:12:29.000 There's nothing you can do.

00:12:30.000 And it's flying through the air, so you're worried your car's going to catch fire.

00:12:33.000 One of the things that happens is...

00:12:35.000 People get stuck on highways, cars catch fire, and the fire and the winds just roll through the whole highway and everybody burns alive inside their cars.

00:12:44.000 What?

00:12:44.000 Yeah, that happened at, what is it, the camp?

00:12:46.000 Park camp?

00:12:47.000 What was the big fire in Northern California?

00:12:51.000 A ton of people died in their cars.

00:12:53.000 Horrifying.

00:12:54.000 You know, I gotta tell you, the crazy thing about the Pacific Palisades was that eight years ago...

00:13:00.000 Probably eight, maybe almost nine years ago, I looked at houses there with my ex-wife.

00:13:06.000 And we came so close to buying a house because it's such a beautiful place.

00:13:11.000 We didn't buy it because it was a little too expensive, to be honest with you.

00:13:14.000 It was just a little out of our price point.

00:13:17.000 But even for a smaller house, it was expensive, right?

00:13:20.000 But it's a beautiful neighborhood.

00:13:22.000 The last thing you would ever think, the last thing is...

00:13:27.000 That that house would burn down or there was a fire hazard, especially down like where Gelson's was or the whole town.

00:13:33.000 Dude, when I'm saying the town is gone, you know the only structure of the standing is that guy Caruso, that mayor, the guy who ran for mayor, narrowly lost to Karen Bass.

00:13:40.000 He built that mall out of fire retardant material and that's the only structures that pretty much downtown that are in the town of Pacific Palisades. 0.97

00:13:51.000 Frank Grillo, our buddy, his old house burned right to the ground.

00:13:55.000 Just done.

00:13:56.000 Yeah, Segura's...

00:13:57.000 Bill's house burnt to the ground.

00:13:58.000 Everybody's.

00:13:59.000 Didn't Mel Gibson's?

00:14:00.000 Yeah, Mel Gibson's burnt to the ground too.

00:14:02.000 Look at that, dude.

00:14:02.000 It's insane.

00:14:03.000 Nobody in a million years.

00:14:05.000 I'm telling you.

00:14:06.000 When you bought a house, nobody said anything about fire.

00:14:09.000 No one.

00:14:10.000 And by the way, fire insurance in LA. Look at that one house.

00:14:14.000 Perfect.

00:14:15.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:14:16.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

00:14:16.000 What's that made out of?

00:14:17.000 I don't know.

00:14:18.000 The wind blew a different direction or something.

00:14:20.000 I don't know, man.

00:14:21.000 I think it's got to be what the house is made of because that wind's blowing everywhere.

00:14:24.000 No, I don't think any house withstands that kind of fire.

00:14:27.000 Are you sure?

00:14:27.000 Yeah.

00:14:28.000 How do you know?

00:14:28.000 Are you a builder?

00:14:29.000 I am.

00:14:30.000 You're not a builder.

00:14:31.000 That's Brian Callen.

00:14:32.000 Nah.

00:14:33.000 I don't believe anything can stand up.

00:14:34.000 Can't you make a house out of all concrete?

00:14:37.000 It doesn't matter.

00:14:38.000 How's that one house?

00:14:39.000 Look at that one house.

00:14:41.000 That guy should play the fucking lotto, son.

00:14:44.000 Nah, that's wind.

00:14:44.000 Look at that, though.

00:14:46.000 Here's the thing.

00:14:47.000 You don't want to live there now.

00:14:49.000 If you're that house in the corner and everything you look at as devastation...

00:14:53.000 The schools are gone.

00:14:54.000 Right.

00:14:55.000 Right.

00:14:55.000 The schools are gone.

00:14:56.000 But here's my other thing.

00:14:57.000 Here's the question I have.

00:14:58.000 Okay, so you see that, right?

00:15:00.000 Now, who is going to rebuild there and who's going to finance it?

00:15:05.000 And then what kind of insurance are you going to be able to get?

00:15:07.000 So are you going to get insurance?

00:15:09.000 Is a bank going to finance that?

00:15:11.000 Would you want to rebuild there when you have to wait for a gas station, for a grocery store?

00:15:16.000 There's nothing there.

00:15:17.000 Right.

00:15:17.000 So to me...

00:15:19.000 I don't know what happens to that very valuable property.

00:15:22.000 I don't know what happens to the entire city now because people are looting like fucking crazy.

00:15:29.000 Gigantic groups of a hundred men organized are pulling into neighborhoods that are being evacuated, smashing through doors and pulling out TVs.

00:15:37.000 There's film footage of them.

00:15:39.000 There's also a bunch of people that have been caught setting fires.

00:15:44.000 I think they should be put to death.

00:15:46.000 One guy got caught setting fires and he had a U.N. debit card.

00:15:50.000 What?

00:15:51.000 And he had a bunch...

00:15:52.000 I'll send it to Jamie.

00:15:53.000 The guy that got arrested for...

00:15:55.000 I'll tell you which fire it was.

00:15:59.000 But he got arrested.

00:16:01.000 He had a U.N. card.

00:16:03.000 I'll tell you exactly.

00:16:05.000 This kind of tragedy brings out the best in people and the worst in people.

00:16:09.000 The one thing it does in these communities is it brings all these people together.

00:16:13.000 You know, my buddy started to cry because I was on the phone with him.

00:16:16.000 He lost everything, right?

00:16:17.000 And they're going to come stay with us.

00:16:19.000 And he said, when I was on the phone, these people dropped by and dropped off clothes for them.

00:16:24.000 And he's got a lot of money.

00:16:26.000 And he started to cry, man.

00:16:27.000 He was like, I can't tell you how many people have reached out.

00:16:29.000 He had five cell phones and a United Nations prepaid debit card.

00:16:35.000 I'm skeptical.

00:16:37.000 Of course you are.

00:16:38.000 You're always skeptical.

00:16:39.000 You son of a bitch.

00:16:40.000 I just don't want to be played.

00:16:42.000 No, I think the New York Post did a thing about it.

00:16:44.000 You know what I mean, though?

00:16:45.000 I don't want to be played.

00:16:46.000 I don't know what's true anymore.

00:16:48.000 Maybe the New York Post didn't post that he had the debit card.

00:16:51.000 Yeah, I don't know what's true anymore.

00:16:52.000 I'm getting this from the Texas Patriot Twitter account.

00:16:55.000 You see?

00:16:56.000 I told you.

00:16:58.000 I'm already like, I don't know.

00:17:00.000 They said that the New York Post has edited the info out of their article.

00:17:04.000 Thank you.

00:17:04.000 Why?

00:17:05.000 Because it's not true?

00:17:05.000 Spreading rumors, Joe Rogan.

00:17:06.000 The Texas Patriot account said that.

00:17:10.000 You got played.

00:17:11.000 Maybe not.

00:17:13.000 Maybe the New York Post are a bunch of pussies and a bunch of libtards. 1.00

00:17:18.000 The New York Post is very conservative.

00:17:21.000 They are kinda.

00:17:22.000 Yeah.

00:17:23.000 But I gotta tell you, I do think this is how there's a sea change here.

00:17:29.000 You gotta have people with opposing points of view.

00:17:32.000 That are pro-business, etc.

00:17:34.000 You have just all progressives in Sacramento and on the city council.

00:17:39.000 But you know what?

00:17:40.000 Until Angelinas wake up and start voting for intelligent people who are not... 0.84

00:17:44.000 Forget right or left.

00:17:45.000 How about practical people who understand infrastructure?

00:17:49.000 Like Rick Caruso.

00:17:50.000 Yeah.

00:17:51.000 I live there, man.

00:17:53.000 The roads, the fucking power line, it's all from 1950s.

00:17:57.000 And it's all above ground, by the way, which is a real problem when the winds start blowing like that.

00:18:01.000 Correct.

00:18:02.000 Which is what happened in Maui as well.

00:18:03.000 Yeah.

00:18:04.000 If you don't believe in direct energy weapons.

00:18:08.000 Yes.

00:18:08.000 I forgot about those from space.

00:18:11.000 I wonder who's controlling those.

00:18:12.000 No, no, no.

00:18:12.000 They're in the Antarctica.

00:18:14.000 The Rothschilds. 0.57

00:18:14.000 Yeah, the Rothschilds. 0.57

00:18:15.000 It's a cabal of Jews. 0.96

00:18:17.000 Yes, the invisible circle of Jews. 0.99

00:18:19.000 Every conspiracy theory always goes right back to that.

00:18:22.000 I'm just saying.

00:18:23.000 Yeah.

00:18:23.000 But...

00:18:24.000 You know, the Mossad and the IDF and, like, the influence on politics is pretty well established.

00:18:32.000 Like, there's both things.

00:18:34.000 It's like, no, the Jews aren't the problem in the whole world.

00:18:37.000 No.

00:18:38.000 And when everything goes sideways, people always do start blaming the Jews.

00:18:42.000 Did we ever figure out who said that to us?

00:18:43.000 Was it Jordan?

00:18:45.000 Was it Jordan who started talking?

00:18:46.000 Or was it Gadzat who started talking about it's one of the marks of a collapsing society when they start blaming everything on the Jews?

00:18:52.000 They blame the Black Plague on them.

00:18:53.000 They're like, you guys cover your wells.

00:18:55.000 My thing about that is whenever people go back on the Jews, I'm always like, yeah. 0.99

00:18:58.000 Do you like Hollywood?

00:18:59.000 They invented that.

00:19:01.000 And improv.

00:19:02.000 And monotheism.

00:19:03.000 Maybe that's not good.

00:19:04.000 And stainless steel.

00:19:06.000 And virtual reality.

00:19:07.000 Yes, and virtual reality.

00:19:08.000 Listen, they have more...

00:19:10.000 Eastern European Jews have more Nobel Prizes than I think any other ethnic group.

00:19:14.000 They're incredible.

00:19:15.000 Nobody wants to...

00:19:15.000 Incredible group of humans.

00:19:16.000 Let's just talk about art and everything else.

00:19:18.000 Einstein, Freud, it just goes on and on.

00:19:21.000 So, you're going to have people...

00:19:22.000 How many comics?

00:19:23.000 How many comics are Jews?

00:19:24.000 Oh my God.

00:19:24.000 Jesus Christ.

00:19:25.000 Some of the funniest people of all time.

00:19:26.000 One of the greatest of all time, Lenny Bruce.

00:19:27.000 Thank you.

00:19:28.000 That groundbreakers.

00:19:29.000 The literal starter of this whole thing.

00:19:32.000 Groundbreakers.

00:19:33.000 So I always say that.

00:19:34.000 Also, probably funding Epstein, but also probably running a gigantic blackmail ring where they have control over all the politicians in the country.

00:19:43.000 I might be doing that too if my survival depended on it.

00:19:47.000 Especially if you're smart and you're really good at chess.

00:19:50.000 You're like, I know what to do.

00:19:51.000 These guys like to fuck. 0.95

00:19:53.000 Let's set them up.

00:19:54.000 Let's set them up.

00:19:55.000 Have we ever...

00:19:57.000 Has there been any...

00:19:59.000 What is with the list?

00:20:00.000 Here's my theory on the Jeffrey Epstein scene.

00:20:02.000 See what you think.

00:20:03.000 Oh, I'd love to hear this.

00:20:04.000 I think that the people are so powerful that I know in certain cases the lawyers go to the lawyers of these powerful people.

00:20:15.000 And they go, how you doing?

00:20:16.000 Now, we got some evidence that your client...

00:20:20.000 Who's a family man and everything else?

00:20:22.000 Was banging girls on Jeffrey's Island. 0.92

00:20:25.000 Getting pissed on.

00:20:26.000 Yeah, whatever it is, bro.

00:20:28.000 Getting his nuts put in a cinch.

00:20:29.000 Sure!

00:20:30.000 Little kids are shitting in his mouth. 0.84

00:20:32.000 Sure.

00:20:33.000 Hey, dude.

00:20:34.000 Hey, hold on.

00:20:35.000 What kind of podcast is this?

00:20:37.000 They're doing drugs.

00:20:39.000 They're taking wild chances.

00:20:40.000 As I put this shit cigar on my mouth.

00:20:43.000 These are good cigars, right?

00:20:44.000 Delicious.

00:20:45.000 Shout out to Foundation Cigars.

00:20:47.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:20:50.000 I think what happened was there was a lot of money and every one of those fucking people got paid off.

00:20:56.000 I think it just went away because there's money.

00:20:59.000 They came to these really rich people and they were like, what's your privacy worth?

00:21:04.000 What's your reputation worth?

00:21:05.000 How about 10 million?

00:21:06.000 How about 20?

00:21:07.000 Well...

00:21:07.000 This is the whole suspicion as to why the guy who was the CEO of Victoria's Secrets gave Jeffrey Epstein a fucking $60 million mansion in Manhattan.

00:21:18.000 And controlled his whole estate.

00:21:19.000 Yeah.

00:21:20.000 And then there was the other guy who was some big CEO who gave him $150 million and had to resign.

00:21:27.000 Yeah.

00:21:28.000 A bunch of these guys resigned.

00:21:30.000 Money got passed around.

00:21:33.000 And unbelievably, the client list has not been released.

00:21:36.000 I know.

00:21:37.000 I mean, it's been years.

00:21:37.000 He was very good at laundering money, I guess.

00:21:40.000 Was he even though?

00:21:42.000 I don't know what he really did.

00:21:43.000 You know, the person do I trust about those things is Eric Weinstein.

00:21:48.000 Another Jew. 1.00

00:21:49.000 Yes, Eric.

00:21:50.000 Another brilliant Jew.

00:21:51.000 I love Eric.

00:21:52.000 One of my favorite people.

00:21:53.000 He's amazing.

00:21:54.000 But when I talked to him about it, he actually met Jeffrey Epstein and he said, and Eric is just way too smart.

00:22:00.000 You know, he's not a guy that you can fool.

00:22:02.000 Right.

00:22:03.000 He was like, this is a construct.

00:22:04.000 Right away.

00:22:05.000 That's what he said.

00:22:05.000 He said, this guy's a construct.

00:22:07.000 He said, That he had a woman, like a 21-year-old girl that was sitting on his lap and he kept kind of like nudging his knee up and down to make her tits bounce a little bit.

00:22:18.000 He kept doing that while he was talking to him.

00:22:20.000 He's like, what is this?

00:22:21.000 And he's like, also, this guy does not know what he's talking about when it comes to finances.

00:22:25.000 Wow.

00:22:25.000 You know, like Eric's a legitimate genius.

00:22:28.000 Correct.

00:22:28.000 You know, a mathematician.

00:22:29.000 You can't lie to him about stuff like that.

00:22:33.000 I would tell you his theory on what he thinks.

00:22:36.000 This whole thing is, this whole, you know, it's a simulation or whatever.

00:22:41.000 Because, you know, so Newton, there's Newtonian physics, right, which is this matter here, and then there's quantum physics, study of the electron that Einstein was the pioneer of and blah, blah, blah.

00:22:51.000 So Einstein was working on what's called a theory of everything, which was the bridge.

00:22:54.000 How do you, because a lot of times the rules in this ether, in Newtonian, in the world that we live in, are different.

00:23:02.000 When it comes to gravity and light, then they are on a quantum level.

00:23:05.000 So what is the bridge?

00:23:06.000 How do we bring them together?

00:23:08.000 How do we reconcile both realities?

00:23:10.000 Right.

00:23:11.000 So that's the theory of everything.

00:23:12.000 So Eric is obsessed with that and kind of works on that.

00:23:15.000 Well, he made his own theory of everything.

00:23:16.000 Yeah.

00:23:16.000 So his idea is that maybe the singularity is already here and maybe we're already machines.

00:23:23.000 And we are...

00:23:24.000 So watch this.

00:23:25.000 So we're already machines replicating better machines, better versions of ourselves.

00:23:30.000 And it's kind of an interesting thing because it kind of dovetails with Buddhism, right?

00:23:34.000 So watch this.

00:23:35.000 I'm going to do an experiment on you that a Buddhist Rinpoche will ask somebody. 1.00

00:23:38.000 Get in the lotus position.

00:23:42.000 There it is.

00:23:45.000 There it is.

00:23:46.000 Dude, good breathing.

00:23:47.000 I'm ready.

00:23:48.000 Good breathing.

00:23:49.000 I was watching this guy doing DMT breathing today on Instagram.

00:23:54.000 He was explaining how to spike your DMT and communicate with entities.

00:23:58.000 And he was saying how you compress your balls and your asshole and all your sex organs and then through your abdominals and you exhale all your breath.

00:24:11.000 and you breathe like this and then you come And you get that DMT flow.

00:24:21.000 Oh, is that what you get?

00:24:22.000 I don't know.

00:24:22.000 It doesn't work for me.

00:24:23.000 It's not working with one...

00:24:24.000 Did he have a boner when he was telling you this?

00:24:26.000 The thing is, like, most of these things take a long fucking time, and I'm busy.

00:24:30.000 I'm busy, dude.

00:24:31.000 I'm busy and I'm easily distracted.

00:24:33.000 Correct.

00:24:33.000 I have a lot of ADD. I'll just lick a toad.

00:24:36.000 All right?

00:24:36.000 Well, that's like...

00:24:37.000 My buddy did that shit.

00:24:39.000 He licked a toad.

00:24:40.000 He did the toad thing.

00:24:40.000 Oh, the toad thing's odd.

00:24:41.000 He called me up.

00:24:42.000 He goes, everything's different now.

00:24:43.000 I'm like, all right, calm down.

00:24:44.000 But that's 5-methoxy.

00:24:45.000 That's 5-methoxy.

00:24:46.000 Have you done it?

00:24:47.000 Methyltryptamine.

00:24:47.000 Yeah, allegedly.

00:24:49.000 The thing about kundalini yoga and all these different ways where you can achieve those states, like Terence McKenna had a great line about that.

00:24:59.000 He's like, one time the Buddha came to visit this town and this monk came to the Buddha and he said, I have practiced a city of levitation for 10 years and now I can walk on water.

00:25:11.000 And the Buddha says, yeah, but the ferry's only a nickel.

00:25:16.000 And that was McKenna's conversation.

00:25:18.000 That was McKenna's take on why would you do this when you could just take psychedelics?

00:25:24.000 Yeah, that's so good.

00:25:26.000 You don't really have to fucking meditate for 10 years, homie. 1.00

00:25:28.000 You missed out on a lot of enlightenment while you're staring at a corner of the wall.

00:25:32.000 Yeah, you hear those guys a lot.

00:25:34.000 That's kind of why Zen masters will say, I have nothing to teach you.

00:25:41.000 Because part of you...

00:25:42.000 So, the idea would be, you can't improve yourself.

00:25:45.000 What?

00:25:45.000 He goes, because the part of you that wants to improve yourself is the part that needs improving.

00:25:49.000 So, until you get out of your own way, and you realize that you, this construct called yourself, is an imagined construct.

00:25:59.000 You've invented this.

00:26:00.000 So, like, Sam Harrison, he studies the Vedanta, right?

00:26:04.000 So, in his book, Spirituality Without Religion, he does this experiment, which the Buddhists will have you do. 1.00

00:26:12.000 You're watching me right now.

00:26:13.000 I'm talking.

00:26:14.000 Now, there's this guy named Joe Rogan, okay?

00:26:17.000 And we know Joe Rogan's got this.

00:26:18.000 But for a second, try to locate where you really are.

00:26:23.000 In other words, where are you actually listening to me from?

00:26:26.000 Where are you?

00:26:28.000 Where is the seat of your attention?

00:26:29.000 Are you behind your face?

00:26:31.000 Are you here?

00:26:32.000 And if you try to do that, it's kind of impossible to locate.

00:26:38.000 Where you're hearing me from.

00:26:40.000 There's this sort of echo, this idea that you're not- This is a lot of mental jerking off.

00:26:44.000 I'm right here.

00:26:45.000 I'm looking at you right here.

00:26:46.000 I hear you.

00:26:47.000 You know how I know I hear you through my ears?

00:26:49.000 Because if I plug this one up, it sounds different.

00:26:50.000 And if I plug both of them up, I don't hear you at all.

00:26:53.000 I'm assuming the sound's coming in here.

00:26:56.000 I'm right here.

00:26:56.000 I'm talking to you.

00:26:57.000 You're still attached to your physical self, sir.

00:26:59.000 This is all like the children of rich kids who sit around pondering the universe.

00:27:04.000 Dude, this is Buddhism, man.

00:27:05.000 Come on.

00:27:06.000 You're not even a good student.

00:27:07.000 They take a backpack, and they go on a trek, and they stay in hostels because they're amazing.

00:27:12.000 I turned to the other member.

00:27:14.000 He's not ready yet.

00:27:15.000 He's not ready.

00:27:18.000 We have to break him down further.

00:27:20.000 No, there's something to that, all bullshit aside.

00:27:22.000 Yeah.

00:27:23.000 It's a weird exercise.

00:27:25.000 Yeah.

00:27:25.000 Because the idea would be, you can observe your brain, so you can observe your thoughts, you can observe your body, and you can observe your emotions.

00:27:33.000 You can actually step outside and watch that stuff.

00:27:35.000 And they get really good at that.

00:27:37.000 They get really good at realizing that you're none of those things.

00:27:40.000 You might be the observer, whoever that is, or whatever that is.

00:27:44.000 And that's kind of an interesting exercise.

00:27:47.000 That's why you see these dudes, that monk who set himself on fire.

00:27:51.000 Right?

00:27:52.000 In 1963. Oh, the Vietnam photo?

00:27:55.000 Now, David Halberstam from the New York Times said he didn't make a sound.

00:27:59.000 They watched him.

00:28:01.000 And he literally, they heard the air leave his lungs and he just fell over.

00:28:04.000 So did the lady on the subway. 1.00

00:28:06.000 She didn't make a sound either.

00:28:07.000 Well, she was also probably asleep or something.

00:28:10.000 She was until she was lit on fire.

00:28:11.000 Jesus Christ.

00:28:12.000 Yeah.

00:28:12.000 So I don't know.

00:28:13.000 But the idea would be...

00:28:14.000 Yeah, I've never seen anybody...

00:28:15.000 He never moved.

00:28:16.000 ...burning, covered, engulfed in flames.

00:28:18.000 You might not be able to talk.

00:28:19.000 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:28:20.000 Yeah, but he also didn't move, so he stayed there.

00:28:22.000 Oh no, it was an incredible display of will.

00:28:23.000 So he left his body.

00:28:25.000 He was watching himself.

00:28:26.000 That would be the idea behind, that's what they would say.

00:28:28.000 Or he had incredible discipline, and through insane pain, he sat there.

00:28:33.000 Yeah.

00:28:34.000 Well, have you seen those videos?

00:28:35.000 How about when the Indian Army went up, this is recent?

00:28:38.000 That is such a fucking crazy photo.

00:28:39.000 Jamie, bring up the Indian Army.

00:28:41.000 Hold on, pull that photo back again.

00:28:42.000 It's incredible.

00:28:43.000 Look how insane that photo is.

00:28:44.000 That guy is just sitting there, completely engulfed in flames.

00:28:49.000 The president of South Vietnam at the time, who was a staunch Roman Catholic, was treating Buddhists.

00:28:53.000 And he said, please have some compassion and lit himself on fire.

00:28:56.000 Jesus Christ.

00:28:56.000 What a bad motherfucker.

00:28:58.000 Now, that's a good argument for celibacy.

00:29:02.000 Because if that guy's getting a lot of pussy... 1.00

00:29:04.000 Well, that's right.

00:29:06.000 Because you're attached to a sensation.

00:29:08.000 Yeah.

00:29:08.000 So they rid themselves of...

00:29:09.000 Looking forward to it again.

00:29:10.000 Looking forward to it.

00:29:11.000 I have a long waiting.

00:29:12.000 If you burn me with this cigar, I'd be like, fuck it!

00:29:14.000 You know?

00:29:15.000 I can't do that.

00:29:17.000 Playoffs.

00:29:18.000 We're talking about playoffs?

00:29:19.000 You bet we are.

00:29:21.000 Get in on the action with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Scoring touchdowns is key to winning the playoffs, and you can score big by betting on them at DraftKings, the number one place to bet touchdowns.

00:29:36.000 Ready to place your bet?

00:29:37.000 Try betting on something simple, like a player to score six.

00:29:40.000 Go to DraftKings Sportsbook app and make your pick.

00:29:43.000 New DraftKings customers can bet five bucks.

00:29:46.000 to get $200 in bonus bets instantly.

00:29:49.000 Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use the code ROGAN. That's code ROGAN for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just $5.

00:30:00.000 Only on DraftKings Sportsbook.

00:30:03.000 The crown is yours.

00:30:04.000 Gambling problem?

00:30:05.000 Call 1-800-GAMBLER.

00:30:06.000 In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY-467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for a problem gambling.

00:30:14.000 Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org.

00:30:19.000 Please play responsibly.

00:30:20.000 On behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over, age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction, void in Ontario.

00:30:26.000 Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance.

00:30:29.000 For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio.

00:30:34.000 Yeah, I think all those things are tools to try to break out of the ego, right?

00:30:41.000 The problem that most people have is they think about themselves all the time.

00:30:45.000 And the worst version of it is extreme narcissism and sociopathy.

00:30:50.000 And then the best people are the people that think about others more than they think about themselves.

00:30:54.000 Those are the people that we admire the most, the people that genuinely think about other people a lot.

00:31:00.000 One thing that I really genuinely do try to do is I try to not think about myself.

00:31:05.000 I think about things that I must do.

00:31:09.000 I do think about things that I don't like that I did.

00:31:11.000 I don't like how I handled that conversation.

00:31:14.000 Maybe I was coming in a little hot.

00:31:17.000 Maybe I was coming in at a 5 and I should have been at a 2. Maybe the reason why it became a contentious argument was my fault.

00:31:26.000 Very good.

00:31:26.000 I'm so much better at that than I was when I was younger.

00:31:30.000 I can have a conversation with someone that I vehemently disagree with and keep it very civil.

00:31:35.000 When we were younger, both you and I, we started shouting our opinions.

00:31:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:38.000 It's about winning.

00:31:39.000 Also, we were all retarded.

00:31:41.000 Yeah.

00:31:41.000 And we were young and stupid and we had bad role models.

00:31:44.000 There's a lot of things going on there.

00:31:46.000 The worst.

00:31:47.000 You know, and men would shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:31:49.000 Men would talk like men. 0.95

00:31:50.000 And also, like...

00:31:52.000 I grew up essentially feral.

00:31:54.000 I didn't have any normal structure.

00:31:58.000 I feel like I did a little bit too.

00:31:59.000 Well, you certainly did.

00:32:00.000 You traveled all over the country, all over the world.

00:32:02.000 You were in a boarding school when you were in high school.

00:32:04.000 Like 13. I remember talking to you about your live story.

00:32:08.000 I'm like, it's amazing you're not more fucked up.

00:32:10.000 You should be really fucked up.

00:32:12.000 My aunt and uncle said, we just can't believe you're not in jail or fucking on drugs.

00:32:16.000 Well, you became the best thing for someone who's fucked up, which is a comedian. 0.76

00:32:19.000 My parents were awesome, though.

00:32:21.000 They loved it.

00:32:23.000 Look, my parents are nice too.

00:32:25.000 It could have definitely been way worse.

00:32:28.000 It's not their fault.

00:32:29.000 They had a child in 1967. That's right.

00:32:33.000 And everybody was retarded back then. 1.00

00:32:34.000 That's right.

00:32:34.000 And their parents went through the fucking depression.

00:32:37.000 So everybody was just, it was a vile...

00:32:41.000 Yeah.

00:32:42.000 With so many different aspects of our society, with violence and crime.

00:32:49.000 And it was, you know, no one knew what the fuck was going on.

00:32:53.000 They had just killed Kennedy.

00:32:55.000 It was like, it wasn't a time for rash.

00:32:58.000 World War II was fresh, true destruction. 0.76

00:33:01.000 Vietnam was ongoing.

00:33:02.000 Yeah.

00:33:03.000 Right.

00:33:03.000 So it was a time of great confusion.

00:33:06.000 And I don't think you could ever compare.

00:33:08.000 It's like.

00:33:10.000 And we go back and we think about things that happened in the year 1200. Like, oh, the barbaric conquests of cities and sacking of countries by the Mongols and all this crazy stuff. 0.69

00:33:25.000 It's a different time.

00:33:26.000 It's a different time.

00:33:28.000 There's different people in a different time.

00:33:30.000 Our parents grew up in a different time.

00:33:31.000 We are growing up in the most strange time because this is like coming out of...

00:33:37.000 This barbaric sort of primal history and recognizing in some strange way that we're more connected than ever before.

00:33:47.000 And the electronics are bringing us connected but also disconnecting us at the same time.

00:33:53.000 So there's this bizarre struggle for like inter-human communication and personal communication and learning how to like exchange ideas with people and talk to people in a civil way while you're also...

00:34:06.000 You're more informed than ever before, more informed on human behavior patterns and psychology.

00:34:13.000 We're seeing it play out right before our eyes where you've had a total polar shift of some of the key tenets of the left and the right, where the left is all for a war, the left is for censorship, the left is for whatever pharmaceutical drugs they're trying to push.

00:34:31.000 Talk down authority.

00:34:32.000 It's crazy!

00:34:34.000 Fidelity to authority, too.

00:34:36.000 Yes.

00:34:36.000 Blind fidelity.

00:34:37.000 Blind fidelity to authority.

00:34:38.000 And also, the left has also become very good at destruction in a lot of ways.

00:34:43.000 I'm not saying the right doesn't have its problems, but the left has become, like you and I were talking about this, like if you disagree with the left, they will come after everything.

00:34:52.000 Everything.

00:34:52.000 The right kind of goes, you're an idiot, and they'll make fun of you and do a meme about you.

00:34:56.000 Yeah.

00:34:56.000 But the left, you know, and that's...

00:34:58.000 That's what I call the make-or-break machine.

00:35:00.000 You know, if you look at, and this is one of the things I talk about with my specialists, you take Caitlyn Jenner, who came out. 0.86

00:35:08.000 Bruce Jenner has an operation for eight hours, comes as Caitlyn Jenner. 0.70

00:35:13.000 Eight hours?

00:35:14.000 It was an eight-hour.

00:35:15.000 The first one was about eight hours, right?

00:35:17.000 On the face.

00:35:17.000 Did a great job, by the way.

00:35:19.000 By the way, how about this?

00:35:20.000 Can I just say this?

00:35:21.000 Don't say you'd fuck her.

00:35:22.000 No, no, no.

00:35:23.000 Take it easy.

00:35:23.000 But I'm just saying...

00:35:24.000 Don't say it.

00:35:25.000 I'm just saying...

00:35:25.000 You're thinking of saying it.

00:35:26.000 How about a little something for the surgeon?

00:35:27.000 He should have won Artist of the Year.

00:35:29.000 Bruce Jenner, a 65-year-old man, looked like a 45-year-old woman.

00:35:32.000 Came out of it.

00:35:33.000 But a minute later, won Woman of the Year. 0.97

00:35:35.000 All right, dude.

00:35:36.000 Listen, we all have our taste, okay?

00:35:38.000 I like 45-year-old ladies. 1.00

00:35:40.000 That's why I'm looking at you this way.

00:35:42.000 I like me a hot 45-year-old lady.

00:35:44.000 I'm saying with makeup on Glamour magazine, look very good.

00:35:47.000 Like a well-kept 40s lady, goes to the gym, does squats, looking good. 1.00

00:35:52.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:35:52.000 A real athlete.

00:35:54.000 Hanging on because she wants to hang on.

00:35:56.000 Every bit of 6'2", maybe 6'3".

00:35:57.000 When you're 23, you don't even have to hang on.

00:35:59.000 You're just there.

00:36:00.000 You're perfect.

00:36:01.000 That's why I don't take any advice on health from 26-year-olds.

00:36:03.000 Should I eat more berries?

00:36:05.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:36:05.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00

00:36:06.000 Shut your fucking mouth.

00:36:08.000 Get into my body for a second.

00:36:09.000 Shut your hydrogen water.

00:36:10.000 You shut your fucking mouth.

00:36:11.000 Yeah, fuck off.

00:36:11.000 I gotta warm my feet up in the morning.

00:36:13.000 You're 24 years old.

00:36:14.000 Exactly.

00:36:14.000 You were just born.

00:36:15.000 You were just born a matter of months ago.

00:36:17.000 Correct.

00:36:17.000 Shut your dirty mouth.

00:36:18.000 Correct.

00:36:19.000 I'm calcifying, motherfucker.

00:36:21.000 None of your shit's gonna help my calcification.

00:36:23.000 I'm dying.

00:36:24.000 I have arthritis.

00:36:25.000 So do I. Yeah.

00:36:26.000 So do I. I gotta warm my feet up before I get out of the car, okay?

00:36:29.000 I have a whole thing about that, but, you know, that's the reality of getting older.

00:36:33.000 Well, you're going to be beat up, especially if you work out a lot.

00:36:36.000 Yeah.

00:36:37.000 There's just no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

00:36:38.000 Yeah.

00:36:39.000 Shout out to WasteWell for keeping me glued together, though.

00:36:41.000 I've got to get involved.

00:36:43.000 Yeah, you've got to get involved.

00:36:44.000 And get some peptides and all this stuff.

00:36:46.000 I was talking to Zuckerberg yesterday, and he got his knee reconstructed.

00:36:50.000 I said, did you get on any peptides?

00:36:51.000 He said, no.

00:36:52.000 I go, do you hate healing?

00:36:54.000 He looks great, by the way.

00:36:55.000 He does.

00:36:55.000 He looks good.

00:36:55.000 He's got a thick neck now.

00:36:56.000 I know!

00:36:57.000 He's got a thick neck.

00:36:58.000 He's got a perm.

00:37:00.000 He's actually handsome.

00:37:01.000 He's wearing a jewel.

00:37:02.000 He wears jewelry.

00:37:03.000 Very expensive watch.

00:37:05.000 He looks great.

00:37:05.000 I looked at his watch.

00:37:06.000 I was like, that's pricing.

00:37:07.000 How much was it?

00:37:08.000 I don't know.

00:37:08.000 I'm not a real watch head.

00:37:10.000 He doesn't look at prices, sir.

00:37:11.000 Oh, he doesn't have to.

00:37:12.000 No.

00:37:13.000 Everything's free.

00:37:14.000 He's like, I'll take one of those, please.

00:37:15.000 Yeah.

00:37:16.000 Smiles.

00:37:16.000 Yeah.

00:37:17.000 Thanks for your data.

00:37:18.000 - Smiles.

00:37:23.000 I like him, though.

00:37:24.000 I like him a lot.

00:37:25.000 I do, too.

00:37:26.000 I really do.

00:37:26.000 I've hung out with him.

00:37:27.000 I've talked to him quite a few times.

00:37:29.000 He's a good dude.

00:37:29.000 He's a good dude with a very weird job, you know, being in control of...

00:37:33.000 What did he say it was?

00:37:34.000 3. what billion people use?

00:37:37.000 Goddamn.

00:37:37.000 3.2 billion fucking people use Facebook.

00:37:41.000 I was telling you this the other day.

00:37:42.000 I think his political transformation is interesting because...

00:37:46.000 Now, there's a cynical view.

00:37:47.000 It's from jujitsu.

00:37:48.000 I agree.

00:37:49.000 When you do MMA... And your testosterone goes up.

00:37:54.000 You start to feel your body.

00:37:55.000 You put your hands on the world.

00:37:57.000 You're going to have a different perspective.

00:37:58.000 For real.

00:37:59.000 It's going to change.

00:38:02.000 They have done studies, I believe, Jamie, you can look at them, where when they raise a man's testosterone, he becomes more conservative.

00:38:09.000 100%.

00:38:09.000 Yes.

00:38:10.000 Well, listen, man.

00:38:11.000 And it's also a nice lesson to all those nerds out there that think they can never be a beast.

00:38:16.000 It's not true.

00:38:18.000 It's not true.

00:38:18.000 You don't have to hate people that are, like, physically competent and formidable.

00:38:24.000 You can be one of them.

00:38:26.000 And I always bring up Mikey Musumichi, just because he's awesome, and he's a brilliant guy who wears his thick glasses, always smiling, and you can fucking kill everybody in the room.

00:38:35.000 Like, Zuckerberg's on his way to becoming that.

00:38:38.000 And he was, if you go back just a few years ago, nerdy guy, you know, who's really smart, but not really physical.

00:38:47.000 Up here.

00:38:47.000 Now he's down here.

00:38:48.000 Well, he's talking about it.

00:38:49.000 He was talking about it on the podcast yesterday that he loves training because it gives him a chance to express this side that has been demonized in our culture.

00:38:58.000 Yeah.

00:38:58.000 His voice sounds different even.

00:39:00.000 He's becoming a man.

00:39:02.000 Well, fucking bro.

00:39:04.000 Men are raised by women in our schools and stuff.

00:39:07.000 And because of this...

00:39:10.000 Probably in the past 30 years, masculinity was always considered—they were taught it's a liability.

00:39:15.000 Your aggression, your competitiveness, all that stuff.

00:39:18.000 Corporate environments, which have really put the brakes on masculine behavior.

00:39:22.000 And we talked about that yesterday, too, that that's actually in some ways a good thing because it gives women this opportunity to excel as well.

00:39:28.000 They shouldn't have to become a man in order to get—they shouldn't have that sexist perspective imposed upon them.

00:39:37.000 But it's like everything else.

00:39:40.000 Yeah.

00:39:40.000 You know, like you have things go completely this way and then they come back.

00:39:44.000 Like woke.

00:39:45.000 Like the woke ideology.

00:39:46.000 It went so far right or so far left.

00:39:49.000 Now it's kind of swinging back.

00:39:50.000 Well, the woke ideology had a major problem, which was it was reductive.

00:39:54.000 Right?

00:39:54.000 It would reduce a complicated world to a binary world, which is ironic, by the way.

00:40:02.000 But it would sort of say, I can solve all this.

00:40:06.000 There are oppressors and oppressed.

00:40:07.000 There's power and powerless.

00:40:09.000 Black and white.

00:40:10.000 Also, there's no forgiveness.

00:40:12.000 Zero forgiveness.

00:40:14.000 Don't apologize.

00:40:15.000 They'll really crucify you.

00:40:16.000 And you can't, there's no retribution.

00:40:19.000 There's no way to come back.

00:40:20.000 But my 13-year-old son, you can see these kids now at 13. Don't start talking to him about this shit because these kids are like, they've already been, they figured it out at 13. I'm telling you.

00:40:31.000 My son was like, I don't feel, I don't like this shit.

00:40:32.000 I want to do jujitsu and wrestle all the time.

00:40:34.000 Fuck off.

00:40:35.000 Also, podcasts.

00:40:37.000 Correct.

00:40:38.000 Yeah.

00:40:39.000 Correct.

00:40:39.000 They get to hear actual men who've made it through the maze and aren't a bitch.

00:40:43.000 Yeah.

00:40:43.000 And they go, hey, wait a minute.

00:40:44.000 That guy seems really nice and having fun.

00:40:46.000 Company.

00:40:47.000 And he's an actual man.

00:40:48.000 Yeah.

00:40:48.000 Like, there's real men out there.

00:40:50.000 He does shit that's fun, too.

00:40:50.000 He's good at stuff.

00:40:51.000 Good at stuff.

00:40:52.000 Has a good time.

00:40:53.000 Yeah.

00:40:53.000 That's the point.

00:40:54.000 Stop crying all the time.

00:40:56.000 Why are we fucking...

00:40:57.000 Oversharing?

00:40:58.000 Yeah.

00:40:58.000 Why are we promoting and propping up people who fucking cry all the time?

00:41:02.000 Listen, I cry.

00:41:04.000 I cry.

00:41:04.000 I cry if I'm happy.

00:41:05.000 I cry if I'm sad.

00:41:06.000 I cry when I think about my dogs that have died.

00:41:09.000 I have a whole joke about that.

00:41:10.000 There are a couple things.

00:41:11.000 My whole joke is this.

00:41:13.000 I can't call my friends.

00:41:15.000 I had this joke.

00:41:16.000 I was like, if I call my friends and I'm like, I'm sad, my friends can go, you got the wrong number, pussy. 1.00

00:41:21.000 And it's like, Joe Rogan, that's a mean way to talk to me.

00:41:23.000 But it's true.

00:41:24.000 I remember one time I called you.

00:41:26.000 This is fucking great.

00:41:27.000 I called you.

00:41:27.000 And I remember my audition went bad.

00:41:30.000 And it was like the third...

00:41:31.000 I would get right there.

00:41:33.000 And back then, remember, if you got a TV show, your money problems were gone for a while.

00:41:37.000 All I thought about was I get to drink great wine and buy a fucking house and take a minute, right?

00:41:42.000 You're thinking of a nice car.

00:41:44.000 And I fucking called you.

00:41:45.000 And I go like this.

00:41:46.000 I go, fuck, dude.

00:41:47.000 I don't know.

00:41:47.000 I was good.

00:41:48.000 And he goes, you can't be good.

00:41:49.000 You gotta be great.

00:41:49.000 I go, I know, I know, I know.

00:41:51.000 I don't know.

00:41:52.000 I just can't.

00:41:53.000 I can't figure it out.

00:41:54.000 And I was bummed.

00:41:55.000 Right?

00:41:55.000 And I was basically saying I'm sad.

00:41:57.000 And you fucking go, you go, yeah.

00:41:59.000 And he goes, what do you want to do tonight?

00:42:01.000 I go, I don't know.

00:42:02.000 I just let it down.

00:42:02.000 He goes, hey, you'll be all right.

00:42:03.000 Let's just fucking go out and eat and do something.

00:42:06.000 You'll figure it out.

00:42:07.000 Fucking relax.

00:42:08.000 Don't get all, like, mopey about this shit.

00:42:10.000 I was like, okay.

00:42:11.000 And that was it.

00:42:11.000 A lot of people get mopey, man.

00:42:13.000 Yeah.

00:42:13.000 I had a lot of friends that got super mopey when they didn't get things.

00:42:16.000 So think about the audition process.

00:42:18.000 And I've always talked about this, that this is a part of the whole problem with the entire psychology of Los Angeles.

00:42:24.000 A giant percentage of people at least had somewhere in the back of our head some sort of an aspiration to try to get famous.

00:42:31.000 So you move there.

00:42:32.000 You have already an exorbitant need for attention because there's some hole in your past that you're trying to fill up with, I want to be a star.

00:42:43.000 And then you're going somewhere.

00:42:46.000 So you have this need for acceptance and then you're going somewhere where people judge you.

00:42:51.000 And most of the time, judge you poorly.

00:42:54.000 Most of the time, they don't like you.

00:42:55.000 So most things you audition for, you don't get.

00:42:58.000 And if you get one, oh my god, now I'm in.

00:43:00.000 And so now these manipulative people that are in charge of casting you, they can essentially...

00:43:07.000 Mold your personality based on what they want.

00:43:11.000 If they want a left-wing personality, if they want you to be pro-Kamala and we need a black woman president, they want you to say all the...

00:43:19.000 I took my eighth booster this morning.

00:43:21.000 Like, I believe in science, you know?

00:43:23.000 Love is love.

00:43:24.000 Like, they'll turn you into that fucking thing. 0.86

00:43:27.000 They'll turn you into that thing because the entire place is about the golden ticket.

00:43:32.000 Everybody wants the golden ticket.

00:43:35.000 I was so lucky because I never had any aspirations about acting.

00:43:41.000 I had zero.

00:43:43.000 I remember you called me.

00:43:44.000 Just let me tell you the whole story behind it.

00:43:47.000 When MTV, when I did the half-hour comedy hour, and then I got a development deal to do a sitcom, I had never taken a single acting class.

00:43:54.000 And all of a sudden, I have this development deal.

00:43:56.000 And I'm over there, and when the show that I was on got canceled...

00:43:59.000 I was ready to go back to New York and be a comic again.

00:44:02.000 I was like, fuck this place.

00:44:03.000 But I had a lease.

00:44:05.000 I had a lease on an apartment for a year.

00:44:08.000 I'm like, fuck!

00:44:08.000 Right.

00:44:09.000 So I was stuck in this.

00:44:10.000 I couldn't afford to not be in this, because now I wasn't getting $20,000 a week anymore.

00:44:16.000 Yeah.

00:44:16.000 Whatever the fuck I was doing.

00:44:17.000 I was like, holy shit.

00:44:18.000 And I was ready to leave.

00:44:19.000 And so then I get another development deal, and then I auditioned for the second show I ever do.

00:44:25.000 I only had two auditions.

00:44:27.000 Ever.

00:44:28.000 Hardball and news radio.

00:44:30.000 And I'm on two TV shows.

00:44:31.000 I'm like, this is crazy.

00:44:33.000 And so, I never went through that whole thing.

00:44:36.000 I never went through that whole, this could change my life.

00:44:38.000 My life was already changed.

00:44:40.000 None of it made any sense to me.

00:44:42.000 I was making all this money.

00:44:44.000 I had a Toyota Supra Turbo.

00:44:46.000 I was like, this is crazy.

00:44:47.000 I remember you bought that Acura, the new Acura.

00:44:49.000 Oh, the NSX. Yeah, dude.

00:44:50.000 I loved it.

00:44:51.000 You used to pick me up in that shit.

00:44:52.000 It was like a little jet fighter car.

00:44:54.000 I loved it.

00:44:55.000 But it was just like...

00:44:56.000 For me, it was all gravy.

00:44:58.000 So I was watching everybody scramble for this thing, and I was examining the psychology of it and how it affects everything.

00:45:04.000 Because when people didn't get auditions, when they wanted auditions, then you went out to dinner with them at night, they were so depressed.

00:45:10.000 That would be me.

00:45:11.000 Oh, you all the time.

00:45:12.000 Years.

00:45:12.000 You all the time.

00:45:13.000 You wanted it so bad.

00:45:15.000 I remember we were at the comedy store one night.

00:45:16.000 Because I didn't think there was any other options.

00:45:17.000 And I remember telling you.

00:45:18.000 Like, why don't you just do stand-up?

00:45:20.000 Why don't you just throw yourself into stand-up?

00:45:22.000 Like, you're so funny, dude.

00:45:23.000 You're so good on stage.

00:45:24.000 But when you get up there, sometimes you're just like, I feel like you're auditioning for a show.

00:45:29.000 That's what I felt like you were doing when you were doing stand-up.

00:45:31.000 You didn't want to be crazy.

00:45:32.000 But then offstage, you would say silly things.

00:45:36.000 You'd be, like, much more vulnerable and ridiculous.

00:45:39.000 And that was the funny, Brian.

00:45:42.000 Throw yourself into this thing.

00:45:43.000 You remember when I was doing that?

00:45:44.000 I finally got my own show.

00:45:46.000 I'm doing those shows.

00:45:46.000 I was like, hi, fucking dude.

00:45:48.000 I don't like this.

00:45:50.000 I want to do stand-up.

00:45:51.000 Now, I told you.

00:45:52.000 The cool thing about being 57, I'm enjoying stand-up more now than I ever have.

00:45:58.000 Well, you're smarter now.

00:45:59.000 Yeah.

00:45:59.000 And Dom Herrera said this to me years ago.

00:46:01.000 He was like, Joe, he was in his 60s at the time.

00:46:04.000 He was like, Joe, I've never been sharper than ever.

00:46:05.000 You just keep doing it, and you keep getting better.

00:46:08.000 We're so lucky we're coming.

00:46:09.000 Fuck.

00:46:09.000 We're so lucky.

00:46:10.000 And he was.

00:46:11.000 He was better in his 60s than he was in his...

00:46:13.000 He was always great.

00:46:15.000 In his 60s, hilarious.

00:46:16.000 I paid to see Dom Herrera before I ever did stand-up comedy.

00:46:20.000 Dom is the best.

00:46:20.000 So did I. So did I. I was in college.

00:46:24.000 And I was at the Improv in New York.

00:46:27.000 And my father took me to...

00:46:28.000 We sat there and watched Dom Herrera.

00:46:30.000 I remember that's why when I come off stage at the Laugh Factory, and I was still a little in awe of Dom.

00:46:36.000 And Dom goes, Bray, come over here. 0.99

00:46:38.000 And I was like, oh, maybe he's going to give me some pointers, you know?

00:46:41.000 And I go, you know what I love about your act?

00:46:44.000 I go, what?

00:46:45.000 And he goes, you don't go for the laughs.

00:46:51.000 Dom's the best at that.

00:46:52.000 The subtle diss, the comedy diss.

00:46:56.000 I became friends with Dom.

00:46:57.000 Well, I think I'd actually done an open mic night or two before I met him.

00:47:01.000 Or before I paid to see him, rather.

00:47:04.000 But then, not that long afterwards.

00:47:06.000 So this is like...

00:47:08.000 Four years later, like 92, I was working with him in Montreal.

00:47:15.000 We did the...

00:47:17.000 Wow, that's intimidating.

00:47:18.000 Yeah, it wasn't though.

00:47:19.000 He was super cool.

00:47:20.000 Maybe it was a year after.

00:47:21.000 He's a real comic, man.

00:47:22.000 Real comic.

00:47:23.000 So maybe it was 93. So maybe it was like five years later.

00:47:26.000 So I'm like real raw in comedy, but...

00:47:28.000 I had my feet under me at that point in time where I had some material that could kill.

00:47:32.000 Like, I wasn't a really good comic, but I had a few jokes, especially sex jokes, that were bangers.

00:47:38.000 They were bangers.

00:47:39.000 And so we did Montreal together, and then I was in Amsterdam Billiards.

00:47:44.000 This was in my, almost became a professional pool player stage.

00:47:48.000 Like, if pool was a real career, like golf, I would have become a pool player.

00:47:53.000 I just loved it.

00:47:54.000 I loved the pool.

00:47:55.000 You're lucky you didn't get into golf, dude.

00:47:56.000 I'm so lucky.

00:47:57.000 You're a maniac.

00:47:57.000 I'm terrified.

00:47:58.000 You're fucking crazy.

00:47:59.000 But I love the pool players.

00:48:01.000 I love the hang.

00:48:03.000 They were just so different.

00:48:05.000 They were outcasts, and they were loose and fun, and we said ridiculous shit to each other, and everybody was laughing all the time.

00:48:12.000 It was always fun.

00:48:14.000 And so I was playing pool every night.

00:48:16.000 And so I had a gig, and before the gig, I think, or maybe after the gig, I went to Amsterdam.

00:48:24.000 And Dom Herrera pulls up, and he's got his own cue.

00:48:28.000 And I was like, Dom, you play pool?

00:48:30.000 And he's like, yeah, you play pool?

00:48:31.000 I go, I fucking love pool.

00:48:33.000 I go, let's play some pool.

00:48:34.000 And he was good.

00:48:35.000 We were playing straight pool.

00:48:37.000 Which is like the type of pool they played in the movie The Hustler.

00:48:40.000 It's very rarely played in America anymore, but it's an amazing game.

00:48:44.000 You play with a stack of 15 balls, and you knock off one.

00:48:48.000 The first break is like a safe break, and everybody moves balls around until someone makes a mistake and leaves an opening, and that guy smashes into the balls, and then you run as many balls as you can in order.

00:48:57.000 So it's called 14-1.

00:48:58.000 So it doesn't matter if it's solids or strips.

00:49:00.000 It doesn't matter.

00:49:00.000 You leave 14 balls on the table.

00:49:02.000 And the one ball, like, you leave a break ball, and then you rack the other 14. And so you shoot the break ball in.

00:49:10.000 The idea is to collide your cue ball into the stack and keep running.

00:49:14.000 So let me give a shout-out to Jason Shaw, because Jason Shaw, who's one of the best pool players on Earth, one of the greatest of all time, he just broke the world record in straight pool this week.

00:49:25.000 And I think...

00:49:26.000 I think he ran 839 balls.

00:49:30.000 Jason with a Y. J-A-Y. Dude from Scotland.

00:49:33.000 So he made 839?

00:49:34.000 In a row!

00:49:35.000 Fuck!

00:49:35.000 Yeah.

00:49:36.000 He's trying to get to a thousand.

00:49:38.000 That's insane.

00:49:39.000 So he got 832. 832. So the record before was set by Willie Moscone in like the 60s and it was on an 8-foot table with big pockets.

00:49:49.000 That was like 500 and something balls.

00:49:51.000 So he beat that.

00:49:52.000 He ran 714 balls.

00:49:56.000 So that was the previous world record he also owned, and then he just ran 832 balls.

00:50:02.000 When I tell you the concentration involved in doing that, because you're talking about hours of play.

00:50:08.000 I mean, I don't know how many racks of 15 balls is 832. Someone do the math.

00:50:13.000 I think when you get that good at anything, you learn everything about life.

00:50:19.000 Well, he's a wizard.

00:50:20.000 And about yourself.

00:50:21.000 He is a wizard.

00:50:22.000 Yeah.

00:50:22.000 But I'm saying when you master something like that, I'm not saying your marriage is going to be great.

00:50:26.000 I'm saying when you master something like that, it's a very good way to really get to know yourself.

00:50:31.000 Here's how great professional Poole is right now.

00:50:33.000 He doesn't even win most tournaments.

00:50:36.000 What?

00:50:37.000 Yep.

00:50:38.000 Is there a nationality that dominates?

00:50:41.000 No.

00:50:42.000 Filipinos are among the highest level on earth. 0.99

00:50:46.000 Why?

00:50:47.000 Do you know?

00:50:47.000 Well, because the GIs went there in the 1950s and they brought pool.

00:50:52.000 And Filipinos learned how to play pool in very tough conditions because it's very humid over there.

00:50:57.000 So humidity affects the tablecloth and the moisture in the tablecloth slows down the roll of the balls.

00:51:05.000 And so you could take two approaches to that.

00:51:08.000 You could either Hit the balls hard, which is like the American way to do it, or the Filipinos learn to use the entire weight of the cue and have an elegant, almost like artistic way of playing. 0.99

00:51:22.000 They have the most beautiful strokes.

00:51:24.000 A stroke versus a hit.

00:51:25.000 Yes, they have the most beautiful strokes, especially at the time.

00:51:28.000 So there was a guy who came over in the 1970s, and his name was Efren Reyes.

00:51:33.000 And he came over under the nom de plur, Cesar Morales.

00:51:38.000 And he was this Filipino kid.

00:51:39.000 He changed to a different Spanish name.

00:51:41.000 Yeah, well, he went from Filipino to Mexican.

00:51:44.000 Because everybody would have known him if they had ever gone to the Philippines.

00:51:48.000 Because in the Philippines, he was already robbing everybody. 1.00

00:51:50.000 And like a legitimate wizard, a chess genius, an unbelievable, widely considered, if not the greatest of all time, one of the...

00:52:00.000 You know, it's like MMA. Like, is it Khabib?

00:52:02.000 Is it Mighty Mouse?

00:52:03.000 Is it Jon Jones?

00:52:04.000 It's one of those deals.

00:52:05.000 One of the absolute greatest pool players of all time.

00:52:08.000 And then from Efren Reyes came all these other, this Filipino invasion where they were just dominating pool. 1.00

00:52:16.000 Like, and big money.

00:52:18.000 Like, giant money games.

00:52:20.000 Half a million dollar matches.

00:52:22.000 Fuck.

00:52:22.000 Yeah.

00:52:23.000 Yeah, a ton of them.

00:52:24.000 And when you have a match, how many games are you playing?

00:52:26.000 It depends.

00:52:27.000 Some of these guys will play like a race to 120, whoever wins 120 games.

00:52:31.000 And they'll play it over three days and they'll do it for $100,000.

00:52:35.000 Wait, a race?

00:52:35.000 120 games?

00:52:36.000 120 games of nine ball.

00:52:38.000 That's a lot.

00:52:39.000 That's a lot.

00:52:39.000 But that's really going to find out who's the better player.

00:52:43.000 So how long would that take?

00:52:44.000 If you and I played 10 games and maybe I'm a little better than you, you could win those 10 games.

00:52:50.000 Get on a roll.

00:52:52.000 You could get a lot of rolls of the balls where I get safe a few times or I scratch on the brake a couple of times.

00:52:57.000 So that's two more games that you maybe wouldn't have won if we were playing even.

00:53:02.000 And you could win a race to 10. The odds of me winning a race to 10 if we were both, if I was just slightly better than you, it'd be like, you know...

00:53:11.000 Maybe 60-40 or 55-45.

00:53:15.000 Something like that.

00:53:16.000 But when you get to a race to 120, then your odds dwindle.

00:53:20.000 The better player always wins.

00:53:22.000 That becomes a physical game too now.

00:53:24.000 Now you're actually an athlete a little bit.

00:53:26.000 Well, sort of.

00:53:28.000 Concentration for sure.

00:53:29.000 Yeah, but your body can't break down.

00:53:31.000 No, your body can't break down.

00:53:32.000 The best guys are all fit.

00:53:34.000 You never get really big fatzos that can handle... 0.98

00:53:37.000 There used to be a guy...

00:53:37.000 What I love about the hustler one of the great greatest movies ever with Paul Newman is when Jackie The fuck's his name Gleason Jackie Gleason said It really came down the character He he washed his hands washed his face and drew a blank and came back Yeah, that that was a really interesting lesson for me as a young man guys really do that too They clear their mind they go in the bathroom.

00:54:00.000 They throw cold water on their face.

00:54:01.000 They wash their hands They change their clothes They just need something to break themselves out of it.

00:54:06.000 It's a mental game.

00:54:08.000 Jeremy Jones, who's another all-time great, won the U.S. Open, good friend of mine.

00:54:13.000 We were talking about it.

00:54:14.000 He's like, I think it's the most...

00:54:15.000 Mental game in the world.

00:54:16.000 Because it's not just about thinking about what happens.

00:54:19.000 It's about execution under pressure.

00:54:21.000 And then it's also about you're controlling the rotation of a ball.

00:54:25.000 If you hit it this hard, it goes that far.

00:54:28.000 But if you hit it this hard, it goes that far.

00:54:31.000 And that's what you want.

00:54:32.000 You want the difference between an inch and an inch and a half.

00:54:34.000 It's crazy!

00:54:35.000 But everything at the highest level is those micro-adjustments.

00:54:39.000 The reason why Magnus Carlsen wins all those chess tournaments.

00:54:42.000 They say when Rafa...

00:54:44.000 And Nadal, who's one of the greatest tennis players ever, when he won Wimbledon, they're all clapping, he comes in, and the legend goes, I don't know if it's true, but I heard it makes sense.

00:54:52.000 He's coming in, he's going like this, he goes, I think my grip, I think I want to, he's not even paying attention, he's talking to his coach.

00:54:58.000 I feel like my grip should be just a little bit like that.

00:55:01.000 Or still making micro-adjustments.

00:55:03.000 You just want to win.

00:55:03.000 You have to.

00:55:04.000 Yeah.

00:55:05.000 That's what makes them so good in the first place.

00:55:06.000 I know guys who change their grip all the time in their cue.

00:55:09.000 Like, sometimes they'll grab it like this with two fingers, and then they change it, and then they turn their wrist forward, and they'll play for a year with their wrist forward.

00:55:16.000 Oh, guys do weird shit.

00:55:17.000 But isn't stand-up, like, I'm going to shoot this special, and I'm going to throw it away, and I've got to start again.

00:55:22.000 Yeah.

00:55:22.000 And just because I've done five specials doesn't mean it's going to be easier.

00:55:26.000 It's going to be a motherfucker, because I've got to come up.

00:55:28.000 I got to make sure I don't repeat myself.

00:55:30.000 I got to make sure I'm not...

00:55:31.000 You got to have something to say.

00:55:33.000 You got something to say?

00:55:34.000 I took a whole month off of stand-up after I did my special because I didn't have anything to say.

00:55:39.000 You have to.

00:55:40.000 I got drained doing that thing, especially doing it live.

00:55:43.000 I was like, this is so draining.

00:55:45.000 And then I was like, let me think about what I want to talk about afterwards.

00:55:49.000 Do you have any ideas now?

00:55:51.000 Oh yeah, I've got like 25 minutes now.

00:55:54.000 Yeah, it's good stuff.

00:55:56.000 Like, it's fun.

00:55:57.000 I'm having a good time.

00:55:58.000 Do you ever get tired of talking to...

00:56:00.000 Do you ever get tired of doing this podcast, even though you have very interesting people?

00:56:04.000 No, I don't.

00:56:04.000 No.

00:56:05.000 Oddly enough, at all the things in my life, this is the one thing that I kind of...

00:56:09.000 Well, first of all, I choose who goes on it, right?

00:56:12.000 So I'm always looking forward to talking to those people.

00:56:13.000 Yeah.

00:56:14.000 But I love talking to people, man.

00:56:17.000 I like it.

00:56:19.000 The whole moody loner thing, I don't get it.

00:56:22.000 People, to me, are awesome.

00:56:24.000 They're interesting.

00:56:24.000 I like being inspired.

00:56:26.000 I like being intrigued.

00:56:27.000 I like trying to think about...

00:56:29.000 Yeah, because you have a lot of problem solvers on this podcast, too.

00:56:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:56:31.000 You know?

00:56:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:56:32.000 Well, I've definitely gotten a...

00:56:34.000 Unexpected education.

00:56:35.000 Yeah.

00:56:36.000 You know, if you go back and listen to me in 2009 when I started this thing, I was a retard.

00:56:40.000 We all were.

00:56:40.000 Yeah.

00:56:40.000 I think what was interesting is we would...

00:56:42.000 I'd have these opinions and I'd state these truths and then, like, somebody would Google it and be like, hey, hey, dude, no.

00:56:50.000 It's like I had this hilarious fucking typical Brian Kelm.

00:56:53.000 I'm talking about cows, grass-fed, all this shit.

00:56:57.000 Uh-huh.

00:56:58.000 Hey, hey man, never been on a farm, okay?

00:57:01.000 Never raised cows.

00:57:02.000 The farmer goes, hey, I love your podcast.

00:57:04.000 Brian's wrong about everything he said, but it's cool.

00:57:07.000 I fucking emailed the guy back, you know, I'm talking to him.

00:57:09.000 And he gave me an education.

00:57:11.000 He's like, I mean, what you're saying is just not true when it comes to how you raise cows.

00:57:15.000 And there was a thousand things, of course, I had no idea.

00:57:17.000 That's the biggest liability, I think, in a lot of ways.

00:57:19.000 You know who you should talk to?

00:57:20.000 You should have Will Harris on your show.

00:57:22.000 Who's that?

00:57:23.000 Will Harris runs this amazing farm in Georgia, where it started out as an industrial farm that his family owned, and he converted it to regenerative agriculture over 20 years.

00:57:37.000 And it took him forever to do it.

00:57:39.000 What's the name of the farm again, Jamie?

00:57:40.000 White Oak Pastures.

00:57:41.000 White Oak Pastures.

00:57:42.000 And then there's Joel Salatin, who's a similar guy.

00:57:47.000 I think he was – they were talking about him having something to do with farming in the Trump administration.

00:57:52.000 I don't know if that's come to pass.

00:57:54.000 But if it does, I really do hope that he'll be involved because he's another brilliant guy who – Farming is no joke.

00:58:03.000 And what they do is essentially their type of farming is recreating nature.

00:58:08.000 So they just contain nature.

00:58:09.000 Instead of having people shuttle all these cows into these stalls and put a fucking trough in front of them. 1.00

00:58:16.000 No, these animals graze out in the field.

00:58:19.000 They just control where they go.

00:58:20.000 And they eat what they normally would eat.

00:58:23.000 And they make sure that they get plenty of new ground.

00:58:26.000 So they move them to new ground when they've used up all the grass.

00:58:29.000 We push them over there.

00:58:30.000 And then the chickens do the same thing.

00:58:32.000 They have a chicken coop that's a mobile chicken coop.

00:58:34.000 They push it out.

00:58:35.000 They open it up.

00:58:36.000 They run around.

00:58:38.000 And then he's dealing with, like, hawks killing his chickens.

00:58:40.000 So he's got to come up with ways to mitigate the hawks.

00:58:43.000 Yeah, this is like Mike Catherwood.

00:58:44.000 You know Mike?

00:58:45.000 Great guy.

00:58:46.000 You know Mike Catherwood?

00:58:46.000 He was on Loveline.

00:58:49.000 Oh, yes, yes, yes.

00:58:50.000 Yeah, I know Mike.

00:58:51.000 And he lives in Austin.

00:58:51.000 What do they call him?

00:58:52.000 What's his name on the radio show?

00:58:54.000 Psycho Mike Catherine.

00:58:54.000 That's right.

00:58:55.000 So Mike comes down with his wife, who's an actress, and they're like, I'm going to be in Austin on the outskirts, and I want to live on a farm.

00:59:03.000 Did he move here?

00:59:04.000 Yeah, he's a kid from LA. He goes, I get here and we got guinea fowl.

00:59:10.000 We got little sheep.

00:59:11.000 We got, you know, rabbits.

00:59:13.000 And fucking the snakes are eating all my eggs.

00:59:17.000 The guinea fowl are getting decimated by coyotes, foxes, wherever the fuck it lives out there.

00:59:22.000 I mean, everything's dying.

00:59:23.000 Coyotes.

00:59:24.000 We're just getting decimated by hawks coming in.

00:59:26.000 I'll take your bunnies.

00:59:28.000 That's adorable.

00:59:28.000 You think you can raise bunnies?

00:59:29.000 So they're just getting decimated.

00:59:31.000 Guess what they did?

00:59:32.000 What's the one change they made?

00:59:33.000 What'd they do?

00:59:34.000 They got two Anatolian shepherds.

00:59:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:37.000 And, bro, he said, even the fucking snakes are on those.

00:59:41.000 He's like, those fucking dogs are just like, coyotes?

00:59:45.000 Excuse me, sir?

00:59:46.000 That's what they were bred for.

00:59:49.000 Oh, my God.

00:59:50.000 And they're not pets.

00:59:50.000 Shepherds are awesome.

00:59:50.000 Not indoor pets.

00:59:51.000 No.

00:59:51.000 Those fucking things will just patrol your grounds, and anything on four legs is going to pay a very dear price.

00:59:57.000 Good.

00:59:58.000 Yeah.

00:59:58.000 I want four of them.

00:59:59.000 Yeah, they don't fuck around. 0.77

01:00:00.000 I'm going to buy a ranch.

01:00:01.000 Are you?

01:00:02.000 Yeah.

01:00:02.000 Really?

01:00:03.000 Yeah.

01:00:04.000 Yeah.

01:00:05.000 I've been talking about it for a while.

01:00:07.000 You're going to live on it?

01:00:08.000 Just waiting for the – maybe.

01:00:09.000 But at the very least, we're going to put the podcast on a ranch.

01:00:11.000 Really?

01:00:12.000 Yeah.

01:00:12.000 Because I want to have a ranch.

01:00:14.000 I don't want to do the work.

01:00:15.000 I also want to have a big piece of land in case things go sideways where I can have like a whole community on a ranch.

01:00:21.000 This is where I start my cult.

01:00:22.000 I'm going to have – just let people build.

01:00:25.000 On the ranch.

01:00:25.000 Like, give them a few acres.

01:00:26.000 I got some kids.

01:00:27.000 I want to come back.

01:00:27.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:00:28.000 Like, imagine if you have, like, a 2,000-acre property, and on that 2,000-acre property, there's, like, a literal community of you and your friends, and you can go hunt on the land.

01:00:37.000 Yeah, that'll be me.

01:00:38.000 And then there's water.

01:00:38.000 There's a lake there.

01:00:39.000 Count me in.

01:00:40.000 I'll wear a tweed jacket.

01:00:41.000 I'll smoke cigars.

01:00:42.000 I'm not going to do any of the work, but I'll supervise.

01:00:44.000 You don't have to do any of the work.

01:00:45.000 Boy!

01:00:46.000 There's no need for that.

01:00:47.000 Go and take care of that hay. 1.00

01:00:48.000 I think it's a crazy dream.

01:00:50.000 Like, it's a crazy idea to do, but isn't everything...

01:00:54.000 Coming here is a crazy idea.

01:00:56.000 Building the mothership is a crazy idea.

01:00:57.000 But what if you had a big pond with fish?

01:01:00.000 Yeah.

01:01:00.000 So you can fish?

01:01:01.000 You had land you can shoot your own...

01:01:03.000 Let me tell you about freshwater fish.

01:01:06.000 Can't eat a lot of them.

01:01:07.000 Why?

01:01:08.000 Because of poison.

01:01:09.000 Oh, really?

01:01:09.000 Yeah, there's a lot of mercury in freshwater fish.

01:01:11.000 Really?

01:01:12.000 Yeah.

01:01:12.000 There was a dude who...

01:01:16.000 What did he win?

01:01:17.000 He won some big fishing derby.

01:01:19.000 He was a big-time fisherman.

01:01:20.000 He started getting some weird neurological condition.

01:01:24.000 And it turned out it was because he was just eating freshwater fish all the time in some lakes.

01:01:29.000 So you've got to think about rainfall.

01:01:31.000 Remember when we were younger?

01:01:33.000 Acid rain.

01:01:33.000 Everybody was worried about it.

01:01:34.000 Acid rain.

01:01:35.000 Acid rain.

01:01:35.000 What happened to that?

01:01:36.000 I don't know.

01:01:37.000 It went away.

01:01:38.000 But the thing about it is...

01:01:40.000 The pollutants in the air, when the rain comes down, it does bring all that shit into the water, and then it stays in that water.

01:01:49.000 So if you've got a lake, and that lake gets drowned on with pollution rain, you're going to have a certain amount of toxic elements that are going to be in that water.

01:01:58.000 Yeah, mercury is not good for the whole body.

01:02:00.000 Why don't you Google how...

01:02:02.000 Oh, Jamie's already on it.

01:02:04.000 Eating one freshwater fish equals a month of drinking Forever Chemicals water.

01:02:08.000 That's a problem?

01:02:09.000 No more trout for me.

01:02:11.000 See, that's the problem, these Forever Chemicals.

01:02:13.000 PFAS found at high levels in freshwater fish with most concern for vulnerable communities.

01:02:19.000 So like this is a good point about the vulnerable communities because I was filming a TV show once in Detroit and we were on the banks of this river that was fucking clearly polluted.

01:02:31.000 And there was all these really poor people who were on the banks of that river that were fishing for food.

01:02:37.000 Yeah.

01:02:37.000 And not just a few.

01:02:39.000 Like quite a bunch of people that were trying to get their dinner on that river.

01:02:43.000 And people that really – they needed that for food.

01:02:47.000 They looked real poor and there was white, black, all kinds of different nationalities, Asians and a lot of people – and I was like, wow.

01:02:54.000 whoa.

01:02:55.000 Detroit at least was in 2012 when I was filming this thing.

01:03:00.000 It was fucking scary.

01:03:01.000 When you realize how a city, which was one of the richest cities in the country, thereby one of the richest cities in the world in the 1950s during the peak of the automotive industry, and then to see it just...

01:03:15.000 Decimated.

01:03:16.000 Decimated.

01:03:16.000 And these people were just, and I was like, oh my god, they're going to eat these fish.

01:03:20.000 And then I thought, oh my god, they have to eat these fish.

01:03:22.000 Well, that was the Great Migration, right? 0.57

01:03:23.000 So from the south, a huge number of black people went up to Detroit looking for jobs.

01:03:28.000 And the problem was when they got to their, first of all, the auto industry started to get decimated because it started to move toward Japan and different countries. 0.93

01:03:35.000 In the 50s?

01:03:37.000 I can't remember, see when the Great Migration was, it was before that.

01:03:40.000 I feel like everything started fucking up in the 70s.

01:03:44.000 We had jobs and there was a whole thriving community.

01:03:46.000 But really what happened also was that the Auto Workers Union, I'm sorry, but it kept black people out of it.

01:03:51.000 There's a lot of racism that went on.

01:03:53.000 So a lot of people couldn't find jobs.

01:03:55.000 The Great Migration refers to a large-scale movement of approximately 6 million African Americans from the rural South to urban areas of North and West between roughly 1916 and 1970, driven primarily by the desire to escape racial violence, pursue better economic opportunities, and access improved education in the North.

01:04:14.000 Escaping Jim Crow laws.

01:04:16.000 Yeah.

01:04:17.000 Didn't work out.

01:04:17.000 Well, it did.

01:04:18.000 For a while.

01:04:19.000 I mean, maybe in a way it did because they thrived in those areas where they probably wouldn't have.

01:04:24.000 Well, it was like the Puerto Rican exodus from Puerto Rico to New York.

01:04:27.000 They went up there looking for manufacturing jobs.

01:04:29.000 Then the manufacturing jobs coincided with moving south.

01:04:33.000 So you had this massive number of people who...

01:04:36.000 Didn't have anywhere to go.

01:04:37.000 In the early 1900s, many African Americans migrated north to work in Detroit's booming industries, yet they rarely saw the benefits.

01:04:44.000 Many white neighbors actively denied African Americans access to decent living conditions and job opportunities.

01:04:51.000 There it is.

01:04:52.000 Yeah.

01:04:54.000 A lot of darkness and all that stuff.

01:04:56.000 There is.

01:04:56.000 But the city that's left over now, you know, you've seen Roger and me, right?

01:05:01.000 Yeah.

01:05:01.000 Michael Morris film, which is...

01:05:03.000 I think his best one is when he was pure.

01:05:07.000 He wasn't ideologically captured and editing things for effect.

01:05:11.000 He was pure.

01:05:12.000 That was a bummer.

01:05:12.000 I saw that he started doing that.

01:05:14.000 Yeah.

01:05:15.000 It is a problem.

01:05:16.000 Because then it makes you question everything else.

01:05:19.000 Well, the biggest thing that every mainstream publication...

01:05:24.000 Is in crisis, and I think they've earned it.

01:05:27.000 They've deserved it.

01:05:28.000 The New York Times still makes money, but primarily not because of their articles that people read.

01:05:32.000 It's primarily because they're crosswords.

01:05:34.000 They're puzzles.

01:05:36.000 Yeah, but when you take things out of context and you have journalists that are 26 years old and have an ideological bent...

01:05:46.000 People just, you know, the rest of us are going, the news doesn't reflect the world I live in.

01:05:50.000 Whatever the fuck you're saying, I don't know who this is.

01:05:52.000 I've never seen this.

01:05:53.000 I live in a very different world.

01:05:55.000 And it's going to be interesting to see.

01:05:57.000 I think there's a liability, though, where podcasts take the place of mainstream media in some ways.

01:06:03.000 Because then you have somebody who's very good at talking for three hours.

01:06:08.000 And they can really sway a lot of people, but that's one side of their story.

01:06:13.000 So now you have just that.

01:06:14.000 So you have to be careful because sometimes it could just move things over here where, again, the truth is somewhere in the middle a lot of times.

01:06:21.000 Or it's more nuanced or there's just more to know.

01:06:23.000 It's definitely more nuanced.

01:06:24.000 I think there's always going to be a real problem with people that don't really know what's going on say they know what's going on.

01:06:31.000 Yes.

01:06:31.000 When they say they know what's going on, it confuses everybody.

01:06:34.000 It fucks everything up.

01:06:35.000 And it's another version of gaslighting.

01:06:38.000 CNN and MSNBC, they gaslight you.

01:06:42.000 They gaslight you and they actively promote propaganda and narratives that are not objectively true.

01:06:51.000 And the problem on the other side is if you are in opposition of that and you say you know this and you know that, but you really don't.

01:07:03.000 You've got to be real clear with what you say.

01:07:07.000 People have to really be able to, like, if you don't know, you have to say, ooh, I didn't know that.

01:07:11.000 You have to say that.

01:07:13.000 Yes.

01:07:13.000 If you do not say that, no one is going to listen to you anymore.

01:07:16.000 And they shouldn't.

01:07:17.000 Right.

01:07:17.000 Because the difference between someone who's completely independent and a podcaster and someone who's on CNN should be that no one is telling you what to do.

01:07:27.000 So what is your ethical compass?

01:07:29.000 What's the evidence, too?

01:07:30.000 Right.

01:07:31.000 What's the evidence?

01:07:31.000 But also, what's your ethical compass?

01:07:33.000 Are you trying to win and be correct or are you trying to find out what's going on?

01:07:39.000 Well, it's also about ratings, right?

01:07:41.000 It is, but it's not.

01:07:42.000 So with CNN, you got to...

01:07:43.000 Yeah, but it's not because I don't think about ratings.

01:07:45.000 No, you don't.

01:07:46.000 I'm saying...

01:07:47.000 But that's why I have them.

01:07:48.000 That's right.

01:07:49.000 See what I'm saying?

01:07:50.000 Like, it's not about ratings.

01:07:51.000 Right.

01:07:52.000 Like, ratings come if people believe you.

01:07:53.000 Mm-hmm.

01:07:54.000 Like, if you sit around thinking about the ratings, do you think you would be on?

01:07:59.000 No.

01:08:00.000 No.

01:08:01.000 What do you mean?

01:08:02.000 Be on this show right now.

01:08:04.000 Imagine if I was like saying things.

01:08:07.000 How'd that come across?

01:08:08.000 Can we do that again?

01:08:09.000 Let me do that again.

01:08:10.000 You didn't even get it.

01:08:10.000 You didn't even catch it.

01:08:12.000 Oh, you fucker. 0.99

01:08:12.000 Oh, wait a minute. 0.99

01:08:14.000 Hey, you motherfucker.

01:08:15.000 You're saying that Mark Zuckerberg and Mel Gibson get better ratings than me?

01:08:19.000 Occasionally.

01:08:20.000 Occasionally they do.

01:08:21.000 You fucker.

01:08:21.000 I like talking to everybody.

01:08:23.000 I genuinely don't give a fuck how the show's going to do.

01:08:27.000 I don't think you can.

01:08:28.000 I think if you do that, it'll distort what you do.

01:08:31.000 And I think we've all seen people who fall victim to what they call audience capture.

01:08:36.000 You know, they start getting a crowd.

01:08:39.000 Like, you see with a lot of guys, like, online, they start saying, like, a lot of wacky right-wing things.

01:08:43.000 And everybody's like, yeah, finally, someone's telling the truth!

01:08:46.000 And then they become just, like, a fucking nickel-and-dime version.

01:08:49.000 My compass for that is this.

01:08:51.000 Whenever I hear somebody say, on a podcast, or whatever, when they say, you guys, all those people over there are wrong.

01:08:59.000 I'm the one whistleblower.

01:09:01.000 I've figured out.

01:09:02.000 Now, you do have Mavericks, but I always am weary of when I hear somebody go, all that, the entire medical establishment is wrong, and I'm right.

01:09:11.000 And I go...

01:09:12.000 I don't think so.

01:09:14.000 I just don't think you know enough.

01:09:16.000 I don't think you as one person...

01:09:18.000 I'm not going to just put all my bags...

01:09:20.000 There is something called a scientific consensus.

01:09:22.000 Sometimes that could be a bullshit consensus.

01:09:24.000 We can be told the climate scientists all agree.

01:09:28.000 It's not true.

01:09:29.000 It's just how you get funding.

01:09:30.000 So sometimes the incentive structures are there.

01:09:32.000 And the same with the medical establishment.

01:09:34.000 Correct.

01:09:34.000 Let's just be a little bit more...

01:09:37.000 Yeah, you can't say you know things.

01:09:38.000 Because I've heard people who are those kind of people say...

01:09:42.000 They know things about me.

01:09:44.000 Like, oh, you know, that you can't use your phone on his show.

01:09:48.000 I've heard people say that, like, confidently.

01:09:50.000 I've heard people confidently say that he's handled by the CIA. Listen, Mike Baker is my friend, and I'm pretty sure he's still in the CIA. I like him.

01:10:00.000 I like him.

01:10:01.000 I have him on because, like, here's a guy who was a CIA operative.

01:10:05.000 Like, let me ask this guy.

01:10:06.000 And I really do believe he's a patriot.

01:10:08.000 And I really do think he's a great guy.

01:10:09.000 And I think there's a lot of them.

01:10:11.000 And I don't believe cops are bad.

01:10:13.000 And I don't believe any of that bullshit.

01:10:15.000 I think there's bad people in every fucking business.

01:10:18.000 There's a lot of comedians that I think are rotten cunts.

01:10:21.000 I don't like them.

01:10:22.000 But it doesn't mean I hate comedians.

01:10:24.000 I love comedians.

01:10:25.000 But there's some comedians that fucking suck.

01:10:27.000 And if you encounter those comedians, and that's your own.

01:10:29.000 Only exposure to comedians.

01:10:32.000 You're going to think, oh my god, these guys are all selfish assholes and narcissists and they rob people.

01:10:37.000 No, it's just a few.

01:10:39.000 It's just a few of those.

01:10:40.000 I also know some CIA people, like real CIA people, and you talk to them and it's like, they're always like this.

01:10:45.000 They're always like, dude, I wish we were as competent as people say.

01:10:48.000 I mean, if you were involved in it.

01:10:49.000 Talk to Evan Hafer.

01:10:50.000 He's one of my best friends.

01:10:51.000 I had breakfast with him today.

01:10:53.000 Love that guy.

01:10:53.000 I love Evan.

01:10:54.000 To death, and he's flying out here to see your special.

01:10:55.000 He's coming tonight.

01:10:56.000 Coming to my show, yeah.

01:10:56.000 I love him.

01:10:57.000 Yeah.

01:10:58.000 I just said this to him.

01:11:00.000 That was his business for a while.

01:11:02.000 Correct.

01:11:02.000 I know a bunch of those guns.

01:11:03.000 Correct.

01:11:04.000 And you need them.

01:11:05.000 You need them.

01:11:07.000 You want to know how the real world works?

01:11:08.000 The real world works?

01:11:10.000 Talk to Evan.

01:11:11.000 Have a conversation with Evan.

01:11:12.000 Same thing.

01:11:14.000 I went to his wedding, and I loved everybody there because they were all his closest friends.

01:11:18.000 Evan was there.

01:11:19.000 That was the first time I met Evan.

01:11:21.000 And I'm just talking to these tier one guys, and they just seemed so intelligent.

01:11:25.000 And they were.

01:11:26.000 And John Dudley was there, and a lot of great guys.

01:11:29.000 But I'm talking to some pretty cool people who have done a lot with their life.

01:11:33.000 Well-rounded and everything else.

01:11:35.000 And I said, man, I just think it'd be so fun to be in a tier one unit because they're just all so smart and they just have such a wide breadth of knowledge.

01:11:45.000 And Andy goes, God, you're so fucking wrong.

01:11:49.000 That's Andy.

01:11:50.000 Andy's the best.

01:11:52.000 Andy had one of the quickest paths to black belts I think I've ever seen.

01:11:56.000 Oh, is he a black belt now? 0.99

01:11:56.000 Yep. 0.99

01:11:57.000 Well, he lives with a black belt instructor.

01:11:59.000 That's the thing.

01:11:59.000 When your wife is a black belt, you better get your fucking P's and Q's in order, son.

01:12:03.000 You better dot your I's. 0.56

01:12:05.000 Probably a quick study.

01:12:06.000 That dude is so fucking smart.

01:12:07.000 He's another guy who's very smart.

01:12:09.000 Genius, but also obsessive.

01:12:11.000 Like, he got obsessive with bow hunting, became very proficient at bow hunting very quickly.

01:12:16.000 And then, you know, living with a black belt, though, is what a huge advantage.

01:12:20.000 You can just drill with your wife all the time. 1.00

01:12:21.000 He's also a SEAL Team 6 guy, so he's got some physicality.

01:12:24.000 Also kind of hot.

01:12:25.000 You know, your wife's strangling you every day. 1.00

01:12:28.000 And she could probably kick his ass in the beginning. 0.64

01:12:31.000 Leah is built like a true athlete. 0.99

01:12:35.000 Oh, yeah.

01:12:35.000 You cannot be light in the ass.

01:12:36.000 Super smart, too.

01:12:37.000 Yeah.

01:12:38.000 She's great.

01:12:38.000 Quiet.

01:12:38.000 Which I think most black belts are.

01:12:41.000 I think it's just there's too many things you have to consider to get that good at jiu-jitsu.

01:12:46.000 It's infinite.

01:12:47.000 Yeah, you could be a brute and just brute strength your way through a lot of it and be kind of halfway dumb and get to black belt maybe.

01:12:55.000 My only regret is not going down that rabbit hole.

01:12:58.000 I train now.

01:13:00.000 I wake up every morning going, ah!

01:13:05.000 You don't train much anymore, right?

01:13:07.000 No.

01:13:07.000 I want to, though.

01:13:08.000 This is the thing.

01:13:09.000 I'm trying to rehab my fucking knee.

01:13:11.000 My knee is the thing that's keeping me from doing it right now.

01:13:13.000 I twisted it when I was hunting this year.

01:13:15.000 Pretty bad.

01:13:16.000 Swole up.

01:13:17.000 That happened to me the other day.

01:13:18.000 I trained at this in Nono's MMA, who I love it, down in Hermosa.

01:13:24.000 And I love doing it, but of course I'm rolling with a 26-year-old and I'm like, let's go.

01:13:30.000 And of course I'm 57 and I see his ankle.

01:13:32.000 Don't give me your ankle, bro.

01:13:33.000 I'm an ankle guy.

01:13:34.000 I pick his ankle.

01:13:35.000 Thrive him to the ground.

01:13:36.000 Fucking poke that ankle.

01:13:37.000 I'm back, bro.

01:13:38.000 I'm a wrestler.

01:13:38.000 High school.

01:13:39.000 High school, dude.

01:13:40.000 Had trouble looking left for 11 days.

01:13:43.000 All right?

01:13:44.000 Fucking worth it.

01:13:46.000 Well, when you're old, you've got to roll in a different way.

01:13:50.000 You've got to roll with John Jock Machado.

01:13:53.000 John Jock Machado, who was my instructor since 1998. John Jock...

01:13:59.000 Is still rolling and still dominating black belts on the mat.

01:14:03.000 When John Jock rolls, he never moves fast.

01:14:06.000 There's no fast.

01:14:07.000 His knowledge is so wide.

01:14:10.000 His understanding of...

01:14:11.000 He's talking to you.

01:14:12.000 Joe Hogan!

01:14:13.000 Joe Hogan, I'm about to pass your guard!

01:14:16.000 He's talking shit to you!

01:14:17.000 But it's smooth and slow, and because of that, he does not get hurt.

01:14:22.000 Yeah.

01:14:22.000 I mean, he's had a few injuries over the year, but when you deal with high-level black belts who roll on a consistent basis, and Jean-Jacques in his 50s now, he is not hurt.

01:14:32.000 He still looks fantastic.

01:14:34.000 He's filled with energy, trains all the time.

01:14:37.000 Yeah, sometimes I'll train.

01:14:39.000 You can't do that ape shit that you did when you were 23, like, I don't get hurt when I'm rolling with somebody who's really good.

01:14:47.000 Yeah, fuck that.

01:14:52.000 You gotta move slow.

01:14:53.000 Yeah.

01:14:54.000 Slow and strong.

01:14:55.000 I like to talk shit to guys who are way better.

01:14:57.000 That's fine.

01:14:57.000 And you gotta be flexible.

01:14:58.000 That's the other thing.

01:14:59.000 You gotta really work on your stretching and your flexibility.

01:15:01.000 You have to maintain your mobility.

01:15:03.000 I was watching Arman Saryukian, who's fighting Islam Makachev for the lightweight title next weekend.

01:15:09.000 Monster.

01:15:09.000 And he was doing this mobility and flexibility routine.

01:15:13.000 You're like, this is insane.

01:15:15.000 He's so jacked and so mobile.

01:15:18.000 Like, more than I think anybody I've ever seen.

01:15:21.000 Well, part of that...

01:15:21.000 Also, I think that one of the...

01:15:24.000 People don't talk about this.

01:15:25.000 I think the Dagestanis, the Russians, like Marab. 0.98

01:15:28.000 Look at that dude.

01:15:28.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:15:29.000 That's the dude who's fighting for the lightweight title.

01:15:31.000 And by the way, they fought a few years back and it was...

01:15:34.000 God damn, son.

01:15:36.000 Dude, I thought I was straight this whole time.

01:15:37.000 God damn, son.

01:15:38.000 Holy shit.

01:15:39.000 That dude isn't even flexing right there.

01:15:41.000 That's a good-looking man.

01:15:42.000 I mean, that's a strong man is what I meant.

01:15:43.000 Good-looking and strong.

01:15:44.000 God, I'm gay.

01:15:45.000 You're correct on both.

01:15:46.000 Jesus.

01:15:47.000 What a monster.

01:15:48.000 Yeah, homeboy is fucking jacked.

01:15:49.000 By the way, his coach is a gold medalist.

01:15:51.000 I think his coach is a gold medalist, an Olympic wrestler.

01:15:54.000 Here's the thing about those guys.

01:15:57.000 I think one of their advantages that nobody talks about is that when you get a guy like Khabib, you get these Dagestanis, you get these Russians, these Armenians and stuff.

01:16:04.000 They've been training probably since they were six.

01:16:07.000 And so what happens is your tendons and everything gets really, really strong.

01:16:12.000 And also, if you ever watch Alexander Karelin, the way they would warm up.

01:16:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:16:17.000 Those guys, like Corellon could do a backflip, go splits and all that.

01:16:20.000 Those guys, the way they warm up was, it was scientific.

01:16:24.000 Yes.

01:16:24.000 And so, because they knew that the micro damage that happens, and so they would strengthen all the connective tissue first.

01:16:32.000 And I think a lot of times, like guys like Marab, guys like Nirmum Umar, since they've been training so long.

01:16:41.000 Their bodies are different.

01:16:42.000 They feel different.

01:16:43.000 They are different.

01:16:44.000 They're more rugged.

01:16:45.000 So they don't get injured.

01:16:46.000 They don't deal with injuries.

01:16:47.000 One of the biggest things that is hard for a lot of guys.

01:16:50.000 They all get injured.

01:16:51.000 They might get injured.

01:16:51.000 I think they get injured less.

01:16:52.000 They probably do.

01:16:53.000 Or they train differently.

01:16:55.000 You're definitely right that their bodies are stronger because they've been doing it since they were younger and that they get developed in that way.

01:17:02.000 But the opposite is true.

01:17:05.000 With striking, like, not the opposite, but it's also true with striking that if you start striking when you're in your 30s, you're never going to catch Floyd Mayweather.

01:17:12.000 Never.

01:17:13.000 You need that radar.

01:17:15.000 Well, you need that.

01:17:16.000 Your body needs to be sort of, like, developed to strike.

01:17:20.000 Yeah, but you also have to be, like, if you look at the boxers, like, if you look at Floyd Mayweather, his father and his uncle said to him, like, they knew.

01:17:28.000 They were like...

01:17:29.000 Boxing is just as much about not getting hit.

01:17:33.000 Like, you can be great and everything else.

01:17:35.000 If your emphasis isn't on every time you throw, you've got to be in a position where you're not going to get hit.

01:17:40.000 Custom Auto is that way, too.

01:17:41.000 Every time you throw, you step.

01:17:43.000 And a huge part of that is it was all a foot game.

01:17:46.000 And all of that is if you haven't been trained properly...

01:17:50.000 As you're learning how to box, you're going to take a lot of damage.

01:17:53.000 And you're fucked. 0.85

01:17:54.000 You're fucked after a while. 0.85

01:17:55.000 And if you look at those really good coaches, those old guys, Eddie Futch, who taught, who would teach the jab, your hand was here.

01:18:02.000 Because instead of here, you were taking shots, you would be here.

01:18:06.000 So if you watch him fight with Ken Norton, when he fought Ali, he said, when you fight Ali...

01:18:11.000 Ali's here when he jabs. 0.98

01:18:13.000 He's doing this.

01:18:14.000 I want your hand here.

01:18:15.000 So you can see Norton catching Ali's jab and then, boom, answering back and catching Ali in the face.

01:18:21.000 Those little details make literally all the difference in whether you box five more years or if you're done five years earlier.

01:18:27.000 Well, the best example is Floyd, right?

01:18:29.000 Because he got hit less than anybody ever.

01:18:31.000 I can count him on my hand.

01:18:32.000 Yeah, if you want to say who's the best boxer of all time, I always say Floyd because he got hit less than anybody and that's the whole thing.

01:18:39.000 And by the way, didn't have the kind of...

01:18:40.000 That was part of the problem Robust guy.

01:18:52.000 Wasn't Jermaine, I mean, what's his name?

01:18:55.000 Trevante Davis or anything.

01:18:56.000 Right, right.

01:18:57.000 Well, that's a great example of a guy with just preposterous power.

01:19:00.000 You know, just preposterous power.

01:19:03.000 Did you see Arthur Betterbeev, who is fighting Dimitri Bival?

01:19:08.000 Yes.

01:19:08.000 He did a hammer workout on a tire, where he hit a tire for an hour.

01:19:13.000 He did?

01:19:14.000 For an hour?

01:19:15.000 An hour.

01:19:15.000 What?

01:19:15.000 He hit a tire for an hour with a sledgehammer.

01:19:18.000 Dagestanis are made of different fucking... 0.99

01:19:19.000 He's Chechnyan. 1.00

01:19:20.000 Is he Chechnyan? 0.91

01:19:20.000 But same shit. 0.91

01:19:22.000 Mountain people.

01:19:22.000 Hamzat, Chemayev, savage people.

01:19:24.000 And he's one of the scariest boxers of all time.

01:19:27.000 The only fight that he had as a professional that went the distance is Bivol.

01:19:31.000 I know.

01:19:31.000 The only fight.

01:19:32.000 And did you see when Bivol would have his hands up?

01:19:34.000 He was 19-0 at 19 knockouts.

01:19:35.000 That's fucking insane.

01:19:36.000 When you have your hands up with him, he'll still concuss you.

01:19:38.000 Yeah.

01:19:39.000 He hits that hard.

01:19:40.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:19:40.000 Just basic two, like ones and twos, maybe a hook once in a while. 0.95

01:19:43.000 This is a great video.

01:19:44.000 Where this boxer who was, you know, a world-class boxer, who's a professional, got brought in to box bitter beef.

01:19:50.000 And his coach said to him, just do your best.

01:19:53.000 He's like, do my best.

01:19:55.000 Do my best.

01:19:56.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

01:19:57.000 I'm going to fuck this dude up.

01:19:58.000 And he goes, and he hit me the first time he hit me.

01:20:01.000 It was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my life.

01:20:04.000 Like, it was almost like my body left me.

01:20:06.000 And I was like, stand there.

01:20:09.000 That's your job, dude.

01:20:10.000 Better B is hitting people, too, like this.

01:20:13.000 It's all short.

01:20:15.000 Everything is short.

01:20:16.000 And it's just under its power.

01:20:18.000 But he'll hit your arms.

01:20:19.000 He'll break your arms down.

01:20:21.000 And then by round five, enjoy that shit.

01:20:24.000 Canelo does a lot of that.

01:20:25.000 He does a lot of that.

01:20:26.000 He smashes guys' arms.

01:20:27.000 I think the best boxer...

01:20:28.000 You don't want that guy punching your arms.

01:20:31.000 Well, I've always said that about...

01:20:32.000 Look at his workouts with his wrists and fists.

01:20:35.000 And this is his warm-up.

01:20:36.000 Better B is one of the craziest...

01:20:38.000 Because he's almost 40 years old, too.

01:20:41.000 So he had this endurance fight with Bival.

01:20:45.000 So it's 12 rounds of super high pace, very endurance heavy.

01:20:48.000 And he was the one that was dominating at the last round.

01:20:51.000 Correct.

01:20:52.000 Correct.

01:20:53.000 That's February 22nd.

01:20:55.000 I'm fucking pumped for that fight.

01:20:56.000 They're gonna fight again?

01:20:57.000 Oh yeah, it's the rematch.

01:20:58.000 I'm very pumped for that fight because Bival is so goddamn good too.

01:21:02.000 What he did to Canelo, like no one's ever done that Canelo.

01:21:05.000 I think the best fighter, I think you can make an argument for certainly top three fighters of all time is Usyk.

01:21:12.000 Yes.

01:21:13.000 I think he's incredible.

01:21:14.000 Incredible.

01:21:15.000 I mean, I've watched every one of his fights.

01:21:16.000 That dude is on such a different level.

01:21:19.000 He's smaller than everybody.

01:21:20.000 He's fighting giants.

01:21:21.000 He's fighting giants.

01:21:22.000 When you're fighting a guy who's 60 pounds heavier with 10 ounce, 12 ounce gloves, it makes such a world of difference.

01:21:29.000 Especially when the guy is fucking Anthony Joshua.

01:21:32.000 You know?

01:21:33.000 But please understand, Usyk fought at, I think, 75 when he started out.

01:21:36.000 He's not a big, frank guy.

01:21:38.000 He's like 225, 230 as a heavyweight.

01:21:41.000 220. Not even 230. Yeah, not big.

01:21:43.000 Not big, man.

01:21:43.000 And that's a lot of...

01:21:44.000 By the way, that was Tyson's weight when he was in his prime, too.

01:21:47.000 Yeah.

01:21:47.000 There's something to be said for that.

01:21:48.000 Because a 220-pound man like Mike Tyson can knock out any human being that's ever lived.

01:21:52.000 Yeah, your job can't take it.

01:21:52.000 The amount of power he can generate is insane.

01:21:56.000 So...

01:21:56.000 Then you have the speed of being only 220 pounds instead of 290. Remember when Andy Ruiz fought Joshua the second time and he got real fat?

01:22:05.000 Yeah.

01:22:06.000 So sad.

01:22:07.000 Yeah.

01:22:07.000 Because you had a real chance of carving out a legacy.

01:22:10.000 The knockout in the first fight was fucking huge.

01:22:14.000 Yeah.

01:22:14.000 He has speed.

01:22:15.000 Oh, my God.

01:22:16.000 Ruiz just surprised the shit out of him.

01:22:17.000 This fucking boxing combinations are so fluid.

01:22:19.000 He punches like a middleweight.

01:22:21.000 Yeah.

01:22:21.000 And he's a heavyweight.

01:22:22.000 Isn't he a bronze medalist?

01:22:23.000 I don't know.

01:22:24.000 In the Olympics?

01:22:25.000 I think so.

01:22:25.000 I think he is.

01:22:25.000 I think he did medal in the Olympics.

01:22:26.000 Great boxer.

01:22:27.000 Very, very schooled boxer.

01:22:29.000 Super nice guy, too.

01:22:30.000 When he came on and did the podcast after he beat Joshua, he had a fucking diamond-crusted watch.

01:22:34.000 He came in at a Rolls Royce.

01:22:36.000 He did?

01:22:36.000 I was like, let's go!

01:22:37.000 Let's go, Andy!

01:22:38.000 Let's go!

01:22:39.000 I like it!

01:22:39.000 We gotta get you an accountant, though.

01:22:41.000 Don't spend too much your money now.

01:22:42.000 And probably don't get to 280 pounds.

01:22:44.000 The problem is, then all of a sudden you're a superstar, and you're partying, and you're having cervezas, and hanging with the boys.

01:22:52.000 I think there's also, you've got to take the responsibility out of being a champion.

01:22:57.000 It's hard to hold that.

01:22:58.000 It's one thing.

01:22:59.000 It's like starting a business.

01:23:00.000 You can get people to know about your business.

01:23:02.000 Running a business is very different.

01:23:04.000 It's a little bit like getting the belt and staying champion.

01:23:07.000 Maintaining champion.

01:23:08.000 I remember Matt Hughes, when BJ Penn beat him, he told me, he goes, honestly, Joe, it's a weight off my back.

01:23:14.000 Wow.

01:23:15.000 And I was like, really?

01:23:17.000 And I was like, it makes sense, though, because he was just smashing everybody, and he was the person that everyone was chasing.

01:23:22.000 And it's like, God, I fucking weigh on your psyche.

01:23:24.000 That's why Jon Jones, to me, is just incredible.

01:23:25.000 What is this, Jamie?

01:23:27.000 He didn't win?

01:23:27.000 He lost in the qualification tournaments for the Olympics.

01:23:29.000 Oh, he didn't go to the Olympics.

01:23:30.000 Okay.

01:23:31.000 But he did win a bunch of other stuff.

01:23:33.000 He represented Mexico in the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games qualification tournaments.

01:23:37.000 Losing to, oh, Cuba.

01:23:39.000 Cuba, man.

01:23:40.000 You ever watch Helio Test train?

01:23:41.000 Oh, my God.

01:23:42.000 The Cubans are amazing because they don't hit mitts.

01:23:44.000 You'll have a guy, and they just move and move and move.

01:23:46.000 And once in a while, the coach will lift a glove.

01:23:48.000 About one shot.

01:23:50.000 You know, move and move and move.

01:23:51.000 It's all footwork.

01:23:53.000 You throw one punch, you know, every...

01:23:55.000 They, like the Russians, developed a very technical and very technique-oriented way of combat sports. 0.85

01:24:02.000 That's why the Russians were so good at Olympics, at wrestling, rather, because they were so technical where the Americans would just try to work harder than everybody else. 0.71

01:24:10.000 And the Russians, like, figured out, like, no, there's a time you work hard and there's a time you recover and you have to have active recovery.

01:24:17.000 And they got real scientific about their physical...

01:24:19.000 Yeah.

01:24:21.000 Dan Gable, when he did the podcast, was explaining to me how he learned sauna from the Eastern Bloc people.

01:24:26.000 Really?

01:24:27.000 Yeah.

01:24:27.000 Really?

01:24:28.000 They started incorporating sauna.

01:24:29.000 He's like, this is another added element that raises your endurance.

01:24:33.000 Why?

01:24:33.000 Because they would train hard, and then after training, you sit in that sauna for 20 minutes at 190 degrees, man.

01:24:39.000 Your heart is hammering.

01:24:41.000 So you're getting static cardio.

01:24:43.000 Also, it has an EPO-like effect, where it's like a mild dose of EPO. It raises your red blood cells.

01:24:49.000 Really?

01:24:50.000 Yeah.

01:24:50.000 Yeah, my endurance is raised significantly when I started doing the sauna.

01:24:54.000 What about cold plunges?

01:24:55.000 That's controversial still, right?

01:24:56.000 Well, cold plunges is not controversial in terms of the way it makes you feel, okay?

01:25:02.000 So the psychological benefits of the increase in dopamine levels and norepinephrine, that is 100% established.

01:25:09.000 I think that is one of the most powerful aspects of the cold plunge.

01:25:14.000 Also, what's been established is that when you do the cold plunge before exercise, it raises testosterone.

01:25:21.000 So there's something about doing the cold plunge and then forcing your body to heat up through a warm-up and then going through your workout that raises testosterone for people.

01:25:30.000 And there was a study that was done where it showed this guy went from having an extremely low testosterone level to having a testosterone level where his doctor thought he was juicing.

01:25:39.000 And all he changed was he started doing cold plunge before every workout.

01:25:44.000 Put your body under stress.

01:25:45.000 It's not good after workout.

01:25:47.000 Really?

01:25:48.000 No.

01:25:49.000 Because you want Hypertrophy.

01:25:51.000 And you want muscles to grow and strengthen.

01:25:53.000 And part of that growth and strengthening is inflammation.

01:25:57.000 So that inflammation is actually good.

01:26:00.000 Heat, on the other hand, is good after workouts.

01:26:03.000 So it's good for the effect of it raises your red blood count.

01:26:07.000 So that's interesting.

01:26:08.000 So Dan Gable said he would do a sauna after working out because it raised his endurance.

01:26:11.000 Yes.

01:26:12.000 It raises your endurance.

01:26:13.000 And the Eastern Bloc athletes already knew that.

01:26:16.000 Fedor was famous for using sauna.

01:26:18.000 Wow.

01:26:19.000 Yeah.

01:26:19.000 Kador would use sauna and cold plunge.

01:26:21.000 So they use hot and cold therapy.

01:26:23.000 So Huberman recommends doing that once a week.

01:26:27.000 And what you do is you go back and forth and back and forth.

01:26:30.000 You always finish on cold, though.

01:26:32.000 Always allow your body to reheat itself up.

01:26:34.000 Don't finish on sauna.

01:26:35.000 So you would do sauna, cold plunge, sauna, cold plunge, however many cycles you want to do it.

01:26:42.000 But he said that raises your human growth hormone level.

01:26:45.000 The Swedes do that.

01:26:46.000 I did that in fucking Sweden where I was with all these.

01:26:48.000 Vikings.

01:26:49.000 It's fucking so funny.

01:26:50.000 Well, the Finnish studies on sauna are amazing.

01:26:54.000 What it's shown, these are long-term studies over 20 years.

01:26:57.000 It shows that people who took the sauna four days a week for 20 minutes at a time at 175 degrees had a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality compared to their peers.

01:27:08.000 40% decrease in all-cause mortality.

01:27:10.000 Heart attack, stroke, cancer.

01:27:12.000 40% decrease.

01:27:13.000 Because the heat shock proteins, the stress on your body, it makes you more resilient.

01:27:18.000 It makes you more vibrant.

01:27:20.000 You have more energy and you have less inflammation after it's over.

01:27:24.000 Wow.

01:27:24.000 Your body produces those heat shock proteins.

01:27:26.000 You feel amazing when you get out.

01:27:27.000 You feel loose and relaxed.

01:27:29.000 You have a sauna here.

01:27:30.000 I have a sauna everywhere.

01:27:32.000 I don't fuck around, dude.

01:27:34.000 I even have a portable sauna that I bring with me.

01:27:36.000 It's like a blanket sauna that's one of our sponsors.

01:27:38.000 What's that called?

01:27:39.000 I'll hug you.

01:27:39.000 What's that blanket sponsor sauna called?

01:27:43.000 Find that sucker. 1.00

01:27:44.000 I have to pee.

01:27:44.000 It's really good.

01:27:45.000 You gotta pee?

01:27:45.000 Yeah.

01:27:45.000 We'll pee right now.

01:27:46.000 We'll pee right now.

01:27:47.000 We'll be right back.

01:27:48.000 There's a scene in a book called Blood Meridian where the guy chops a dude's head off with that fucking knife.

01:27:53.000 Let me see that bony knife. 0.81

01:27:55.000 Who gave me this?

01:27:56.000 I don't know.

01:27:57.000 Someone cool.

01:27:59.000 Sure.

01:27:59.000 Don't fucking ruin it for everybody.

01:28:02.000 I mean, that's a knife.

01:28:04.000 I don't know what you'd do with this.

01:28:05.000 If you were...

01:28:06.000 If you had to...

01:28:07.000 Nothing good.

01:28:08.000 Clear brush.

01:28:10.000 Yeah, I don't think that's a brush-clearing knife, son.

01:28:12.000 What is this?

01:28:13.000 It's a hacking knife.

01:28:14.000 Who gave me that?

01:28:15.000 It's when you're coming in and you want to just clear it.

01:28:19.000 Clear house.

01:28:21.000 No, you're an asshole.

01:28:22.000 You have a giant knife on your table.

01:28:24.000 That's what it's for.

01:28:26.000 What's the knife for?

01:28:27.000 Just in case, bro.

01:28:29.000 Oh, okay.

01:28:29.000 When the president came, they had to take those axes off the wall.

01:28:33.000 Really?

01:28:33.000 Yeah.

01:28:34.000 Because you might go crazy.

01:28:35.000 I might go crazy and grab one of those and impale them in the forehead. 0.96

01:28:37.000 Those axes look like they actually would work, too.

01:28:40.000 Oh, those are real.

01:28:41.000 Yeah.

01:28:41.000 Those are the jack car tomahawks.

01:28:43.000 They look like you can throw them.

01:28:44.000 Well, I don't think you throw them.

01:28:46.000 I think you fucking...

01:28:47.000 Yeah.

01:28:49.000 Wow.

01:28:49.000 You know?

01:28:50.000 Ow. 0.99

01:28:51.000 You heard me.

01:28:52.000 Let me put that away.

01:28:53.000 You're making me uncomfortable.

01:28:53.000 Sorry, buddy.

01:28:54.000 Yeah.

01:28:55.000 I was going to grab it by the blade.

01:28:56.000 Something aggressive about a knife.

01:28:58.000 That's very aggressive.

01:28:59.000 This is a very aggressive knife.

01:29:00.000 Yeah, that's a ridiculous knife.

01:29:01.000 That's like literally, that's overkill.

01:29:03.000 Do we know who gave it to me?

01:29:04.000 That's like somebody, if somebody wears that on their belt, I'm like, your dick is tiny.

01:29:08.000 That's incredible.

01:29:09.000 Or you're a fucking complete psycho.

01:29:10.000 Or you're a psycho.

01:29:11.000 Or you're living in downtown Los Angeles right now.

01:29:14.000 That's right.

01:29:15.000 That's what's going to be really crazy.

01:29:17.000 Well, I want to see what happens because I think, first of all, rents are going to go through the roof.

01:29:20.000 This is going to be crazy.

01:29:22.000 There is a major...

01:29:23.000 Where's everybody going to live?

01:29:23.000 It's a major housing shortage.

01:29:25.000 This is a major problem.

01:29:26.000 Where are they going to live?

01:29:27.000 Where are all those people in the Palisades going to go?

01:29:29.000 There's thousands and thousands and thousands of houses.

01:29:32.000 I think people who own...

01:29:33.000 I'll tell you what's going to happen, I think.

01:29:34.000 I think people that own houses that are not in fire zones, even if they're small, are going to sell their houses for millions of dollars.

01:29:40.000 Because you've got those very wealthy people going, I need a place, name a price.

01:29:45.000 And your house might be worth $2 million, you're going to sell it for $4 million.

01:29:49.000 I think that's what's going to happen.

01:29:50.000 I really do.

01:29:51.000 That's going to be even more fucked.

01:29:52.000 It's going to be completely fucked.

01:29:53.000 And remember, you know, Los Angeles has been the worst at building affordable housing or just housing in general.

01:30:02.000 All the permitting you got to go through, all the red tape, they can't do it.

01:30:06.000 There's so many issues.

01:30:08.000 There's so many issues, but especially housing, especially.

01:30:11.000 We have, what is it?

01:30:12.000 I think poverty rate in Los Angeles is like second to none.

01:30:16.000 The schools are terrible.

01:30:18.000 The homeless situation is, I think, the second.

01:30:20.000 But hey, it's sunny.

01:30:21.000 Yeah, it's sunny.

01:30:22.000 People are really pretty.

01:30:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:24.000 And there's a lot of TikTok stars there.

01:30:26.000 There's a lot of TikTok stars, and that's good for our culture.

01:30:29.000 That's good for our culture.

01:30:31.000 What was the name of that sauna blanket again?

01:30:33.000 Bon Charge.

01:30:34.000 Spell it.

01:30:35.000 B-O-N. Bon Charge. 1.00

01:30:36.000 It's a blanket?

01:30:37.000 Yeah, it's a blanket.

01:30:39.000 Yeah, you can carry it with you when you go on vacation and sauna the shit out of yourself anywhere you go.

01:30:44.000 Yeah.

01:30:45.000 Yeah, I'm not doing that, but I appreciate it.

01:30:47.000 I live by sauna, man.

01:30:49.000 If I had to choose between one thing that I eliminated.

01:30:52.000 Yeah, if I had to take cold plunge or sauna, I would take sauna all day.

01:30:57.000 I think cold plunge is very important and it's really good for just my mental state.

01:31:01.000 I just like that I force myself to get in there.

01:31:05.000 I like it.

01:31:06.000 I win every day.

01:31:07.000 I win.

01:31:07.000 Well, I said to you when you signed that deal, I go, I say this to people about you.

01:31:12.000 You've not changed even a little bit.

01:31:15.000 Well, if anything, you've calmed down.

01:31:16.000 You have peace of mind.

01:31:21.000 I'm a powerful, influential person, but I haven't seen you change.

01:31:26.000 It hasn't gone to your head.

01:31:28.000 I said, why?

01:31:29.000 And you go, I think it's because I do something really difficult every day, and it just reminds me of what a bitch I am.

01:31:34.000 Yeah, I break myself down every day.

01:31:36.000 I think that's important.

01:31:37.000 I think it's everything because I think mental health is attached to that.

01:31:41.000 I think too many people have too much anxiety and too much like...

01:31:45.000 Success can do that.

01:31:46.000 Yeah, well, the pressure.

01:31:48.000 And also, I don't read comments, which is huge.

01:31:51.000 You know, because there's a lot of people out there reading comments.

01:31:54.000 I've never read one comment.

01:31:54.000 I was talking to Zuck about that yesterday.

01:31:56.000 I'm like, you gotta stop reading comments.

01:31:57.000 You read these comments?

01:31:58.000 Yeah.

01:31:58.000 I'll tell them to stop right now.

01:31:59.000 Yeah, it's so bad for you.

01:32:00.000 Comment?

01:32:01.000 It's so bad for you.

01:32:02.000 I've never read one...

01:32:03.000 Especially good ones.

01:32:04.000 I don't want to hear it because it's going to have power over me.

01:32:06.000 I don't want to hear the good ones either.

01:32:08.000 I appreciate them.

01:32:09.000 I appreciate people.

01:32:10.000 Even the bad comments.

01:32:11.000 I get it.

01:32:12.000 If I was 15, I would be the worst fucking poster on Twitter of all time.

01:32:19.000 I'd be a total troll.

01:32:20.000 I'd be on 4chan.

01:32:22.000 I'd be on all those things.

01:32:23.000 I'd be talking mad shit all day long.

01:32:25.000 You know that kid Matan?

01:32:27.000 No.

01:32:28.000 He's this Israeli kid who's like 17 years old and a complete troll. 1.00

01:32:32.000 I did his podcast.

01:32:33.000 It was so fun.

01:32:34.000 But he's just like, those kids at that age, they are about just, there's no reverence to anything.

01:32:39.000 No.

01:32:40.000 They want to tear it all down.

01:32:41.000 They want to tear it all down.

01:32:42.000 Also, it's all about making a living getting eyeballs on you.

01:32:46.000 Yeah.

01:32:46.000 Right?

01:32:46.000 That's what their business is eyeballs.

01:32:48.000 Yeah.

01:32:48.000 So if they can slap someone at a supermarket or, you know, fucking scare someone in line at the grocery store or whatever the fuck.

01:32:56.000 They do, to get attention.

01:32:57.000 That's their currency.

01:32:58.000 Their currency is attention.

01:32:59.000 And if you beat their ass, it's actually good for them. 0.84

01:33:02.000 That's right.

01:33:03.000 Which is really crazy.

01:33:05.000 It's just a different time.

01:33:08.000 It's the end of Rome.

01:33:09.000 It's the end of Rome.

01:33:11.000 It's the collapse of a really sick civilization.

01:33:15.000 And the thing that you're seeing with this whole woke fire department, which is... 0.81

01:33:21.000 We're talking about that lady saying, if your husband's in that burning building, that they want someone who looks like me, who looks like them.

01:33:28.000 That's not what they want.

01:33:30.000 But this is all this ideological, bizarre cult that these people have fallen into that leads to the collapse of great civilizations because the people that worked hard to make this very easy life...

01:33:48.000 Those people don't get respected.

01:33:50.000 And then the people that you think are the marginalized people that should be elevated through equity, these people that haven't done anything, now you're giving them all the power.

01:34:00.000 And you're also letting them be the bullies of the bullies now, right?

01:34:04.000 So they got picked on their whole life.

01:34:06.000 Now we're kicking ass now.

01:34:07.000 We get things done.

01:34:09.000 There's Pride Magazine in the whatever website.

01:34:13.000 I'll send you this because it's real.

01:34:16.000 See if you can find that, Jamie.

01:34:18.000 I don't have to look for it.

01:34:19.000 But the headline said the LBGT fire chief is showing that she can get things done.

01:34:29.000 Really?

01:34:30.000 Yeah.

01:34:30.000 This is in the middle of the biggest disaster in the history of Los Angeles.

01:34:36.000 Tone death.

01:34:36.000 But saying that she can get it done.

01:34:39.000 Shows she can get it done.

01:34:41.000 Like, what is get it done?

01:34:42.000 Yeah.

01:34:43.000 What does that mean?

01:34:43.000 Yeah.

01:34:44.000 Run out of water?

01:34:44.000 Collapse society?

01:34:45.000 What does it mean?

01:34:46.000 I don't know if the blame lays in the fire department, by the way, here.

01:34:49.000 I think...

01:34:49.000 You watch.

01:34:50.000 I'm going to make a prediction.

01:34:51.000 I bet it's just already happening.

01:34:52.000 I promise you that the progressive government in Los Angeles and in Sacramento is going to blame not infrastructure, not government incompetence, not mismanagement, but climate change.

01:35:06.000 I promise.

01:35:07.000 Watch.

01:35:07.000 Well, good luck with that.

01:35:08.000 Good luck with...

01:35:09.000 Here it is.

01:35:10.000 Amid Palisades fire, Los Angeles first LBGTQ +, fire chief is proving lesbians get it done. 1.00

01:35:18.000 Excuse me, lesbians get it done. 1.00

01:35:20.000 Not she gets it done.

01:35:21.000 It's even dumber than I thought.

01:35:24.000 She's proving lesbians get it done. 1.00

01:35:25.000 So her sexual proclivity is really what makes it done. 1.00

01:35:27.000 So what does that mean?

01:35:28.000 Like Elon Musk is proving heterosexuals build rockets? 1.00

01:35:31.000 Is that what that means?

01:35:32.000 It's just identity politics.

01:35:33.000 It's nonsense.

01:35:35.000 It's nonsense, people writing nonsense things.

01:35:39.000 So fucking dumb.

01:35:40.000 It's placing a group above an individual, right?

01:35:42.000 So treat that person like an individual.

01:35:44.000 I don't give a shit that she's into women. 1.00

01:35:46.000 I don't care at all.

01:35:47.000 Who cares if she's great at her job? 0.99

01:35:48.000 If she's competent, I'll fucking vote for her all day. 0.68

01:35:51.000 I don't know if she is.

01:35:51.000 I don't know enough about her record.

01:35:53.000 You can't call it climate change because LA's been like that forever.

01:35:56.000 The reason why they filmed in LA in the fucking first place was because LA doesn't have rain.

01:36:01.000 That's right.

01:36:01.000 That's why they started putting Hollywood down there.

01:36:03.000 Until what happened?

01:36:04.000 It got too expensive to do business.

01:36:06.000 It got too expensive to shoot in LA. Yeah.

01:36:08.000 Taxes and everything else.

01:36:09.000 It got too expensive.

01:36:10.000 It is too expensive to open restaurants or anything else in LA. So you've got this great sandwich chain I'm obsessed with called Snarf's, right?

01:36:21.000 I think they have one in Austin.

01:36:23.000 Yeah, you brought them here.

01:36:24.000 What do you mean you think you have?

01:36:25.000 They brought them here.

01:36:26.000 Yeah, I brought them here.

01:36:27.000 I love their sandwiches, dude.

01:36:30.000 You know, that company is so good that I literally was, I want to get involved in the franchise business because I think they're crushing.

01:36:39.000 And they will not open in Los Angeles.

01:36:42.000 It's too expensive.

01:36:43.000 There are too many thousands.

01:36:44.000 A friend of mine who you and I both know has businesses in Texas and businesses in Los Angeles.

01:36:50.000 And a lot of them.

01:36:51.000 Okay?

01:36:51.000 I'll tell you who it is later.

01:36:53.000 Ooh, I love his suspense.

01:36:55.000 So in his California businesses, he's been sued.

01:36:59.000 Over 1,000 times.

01:37:01.000 I think it's 1,002 times.

01:37:02.000 1,002 times in the 18 years he's been in business.

01:37:07.000 In Texas, he's been sued once.

01:37:11.000 Once.

01:37:11.000 And in that case, they were right to sue them because they did something wrong.

01:37:16.000 And it's pretty interesting because there's literally a difference in culture.

01:37:19.000 There's a difference in the notion of I'm responsible for my actions.

01:37:23.000 Somebody else is responsible for the state I'm in.

01:37:25.000 And that is a...

01:37:27.000 That is a mind virus that has taken over Los Angeles, taken over California, in my opinion.

01:37:33.000 A lot of this is just mindset.

01:37:34.000 And I think it's very ironic, with all due respect, because I have a lot of friends who lost houses in the Palisades area and everything else.

01:37:40.000 But if you had walked through the Palisades, you would have seen...

01:37:47.000 Most of them voted for Karen Bass.

01:37:49.000 I'm not saying Karen Bass deserves all this blame, but I'm saying there was a lot of Kamala stuff there, very little Trump stuff.

01:37:56.000 And it's ironic to me because I do think, to an extent, without having done enough research, but I've done some, that you have to lay at least some of the blame for this total inability to respond to government mismanagement and the fact that this government, this progressive government in California, In Sacramento, in Los Angeles, put things like climate change and social justice ahead of fucking basic infrastructure.

01:38:26.000 Basic infrastructure.

01:38:27.000 You knew that they were predicting and they knew how dry this season was.

01:38:32.000 Fucking eight months without rain.

01:38:33.000 Okay, guys?

01:38:34.000 So we need to figure out there is a way to solve every problem.

01:38:39.000 Do you need an army of firefighters?

01:38:41.000 They cut 17%.

01:38:43.000 I know, they cut 17%.

01:38:44.000 $17.6 million from the fire budget in Los Angeles.

01:38:48.000 Wasn't it 17%?

01:38:49.000 $17.6 million.

01:38:51.000 There you go.

01:38:52.000 That's what I read.

01:38:53.000 See if that's true.

01:38:53.000 I thought it was percent, but maybe so.

01:38:55.000 I think it's 17.6.

01:38:56.000 Maybe that's what it turned out.

01:38:58.000 Million, but...

01:38:59.000 I don't know what that means.

01:39:02.000 It might be 17%.

01:39:03.000 It might be they have a $100 million budget and they cut it down to $700 million.

01:39:08.000 What's that, Jamie?

01:39:09.000 $800 million or something crazy.

01:39:10.000 That's the whole budget?

01:39:12.000 Yeah, it's a lot.

01:39:12.000 So they only cut $17 million out of $800 million.

01:39:15.000 But still, why would you cut anything out of one of the most important things?

01:39:18.000 Obviously, now you know.

01:39:20.000 Now you know that was a huge mistake.

01:39:22.000 Now you know you should have increased the budget.

01:39:24.000 Well, to your point, this was a perfect storm to an extent, and there's a limit to what any fire department can do.

01:39:30.000 There's a limit, right?

01:39:31.000 We live in Los Angeles.

01:39:32.000 Fires are a reality.

01:39:33.000 Earthquakes are a reality.

01:39:35.000 Mudslides are a reality.

01:39:36.000 We know this.

01:39:37.000 California is a tough place to live.

01:39:38.000 It's great, but there are a lot of liabilities.

01:39:40.000 I just think if you know that that's the case...

01:39:44.000 Something went wrong, and our infrastructure, the fact that our fire hydrants, and it happened in Colorado three years ago, but the fact that the fire hydrants lost pressure, you can predict these things.

01:39:55.000 Right.

01:39:55.000 Well, again, I bring it back to Trump, because Trump was saying that this all could be solved, and he was right.

01:40:00.000 What he was saying is true, and that they are doing it to protect a fucking smelt that exists. 0.82

01:40:05.000 The Delta smelt.

01:40:05.000 That exists other places.

01:40:07.000 I love the Delta smelt.

01:40:08.000 I don't.

01:40:09.000 What does that thing look like?

01:40:10.000 Let me see what a Delta smelt looks like.

01:40:11.000 I don't give a fuck about those things.

01:40:12.000 Neither do I. Yeah, $17 million last year.

01:40:16.000 She directed more.

01:40:17.000 For 2023-2024 fiscal year, Los Angeles allocated $837 million to the Los Angeles Fire Department, accounting for roughly 65% of the $1.3 billion budget designated for homelessness initiatives.

01:40:29.000 Which didn't work.

01:40:30.000 What?

01:40:30.000 65%?

01:40:32.000 For homelessness initiatives?

01:40:34.000 Didn't work.

01:40:35.000 Roughly half the budget for homelessness went unspent.

01:40:38.000 These motherfuckers. 1.00

01:40:39.000 And let me say something else about that.

01:40:40.000 These motherfuckers. 1.00

01:40:42.000 The homeless thing, too.

01:40:42.000 You talk to progressives about the homeless thing.

01:40:45.000 You know what they'll say?

01:40:45.000 It's a housing shortage.

01:40:46.000 No, it's not.

01:40:47.000 It's a drug and mental health problem.

01:40:49.000 Housing, housing, housing.

01:40:51.000 Yeah.

01:40:51.000 Sorry.

01:40:52.000 Sorry, dude.

01:40:52.000 Housing, housing, housing.

01:40:53.000 And we can't fix it.

01:40:54.000 It's a mental health and drug problem.

01:40:56.000 They spent $24 billion last year.

01:40:59.000 24 billion in California on homelessness.

01:41:02.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

01:41:03.000 It's a bunch of people making money off of non-profits.

01:41:06.000 Of course.

01:41:07.000 Yeah.

01:41:07.000 And so there's a vested interest in keeping homeless a problem.

01:41:11.000 Yeah, the real problem is that there's homeless at all.

01:41:14.000 Like, how is that possible in the greatest society the world's ever known?

01:41:18.000 But because we've put very little effort into stopping it.

01:41:21.000 Very little effort into education and fixing people's mental health problems and mental health institutions for people that are sick and twisted and real solutions like Ibogaine. 0.95

01:41:32.000 Real things that they can do to sort of reset people's minds and help them get out of it.

01:41:37.000 Real programs to help people integrate back into society in a meaningful way.

01:41:41.000 I know a guy who was a tier one guy who was dealing with real demons.

01:41:47.000 Yeah, well, there's a lot of people like that.

01:41:50.000 I had the former governor of Texas, Rick Perry, on, and he was explaining it.

01:41:55.000 And that's surprising that Rick Perry, who's, you know, a Texas conservative.

01:41:58.000 Yep.

01:41:59.000 Yep.

01:41:59.000 It was very reluctant.

01:42:00.000 And then he knew someone who came back from the war and was suffering.

01:42:04.000 And, you know, he got involved.

01:42:05.000 It repairs the neural pathways or something like that?

01:42:10.000 Yeah.

01:42:10.000 It helps people with Parkinson's disease.

01:42:12.000 Wow.

01:42:12.000 Really?

01:42:13.000 Crazy.

01:42:13.000 Completely rewires the brain of addicted people.

01:42:16.000 Damn.

01:42:17.000 Stops the pathways.

01:42:18.000 Gives you an insight as to why you're addicted in the first place.

01:42:22.000 Like, what little weird fucking pattern.

01:42:25.000 What are you escaping when you're trying to, like, load up on heroin?

01:42:29.000 It's crazy, but it's illegal.

01:42:32.000 This is the nuttiest part of it, and this is the beautiful thing about what Rick Perry's trying to do, and explaining it very eloquently that it was all established in the 1970s to combat Richard Nixon's political opponents.

01:42:43.000 So the anti-war movement, the civil rights movement, if they made all those drugs illegal, the sweeping act of 1970, the Psychedelic Drug Act.

01:42:53.000 Where they were just trying to demonize these things that these people were using.

01:42:57.000 That was like, you know, the flower child movement, the hippies, the anti-war people.

01:43:01.000 They're like, we need to figure out a way to lock these motherfuckers up. 1.00

01:43:05.000 Well, they did a really interesting study on, or there was a guy, a journalist, I can't remember who he was talking about.

01:43:10.000 They drew this comparison when the 60s music movement happened with Hendrix and all those guys.

01:43:19.000 When they were taking psychedelics.

01:43:21.000 Incredible things were going on musically.

01:43:23.000 Once they turned to cocaine and heroin, the music fucking died.

01:43:29.000 Well, I was bringing it back to cars, you know, because I'm a car freak.

01:43:33.000 The cars of the 1960s were the greatest fucking cars America has ever created in terms of the way they looked, the iconic image of those things, and it all died around 70, 71. Everything after 71 is a piece of shit.

01:43:47.000 Why?

01:43:47.000 Except a few Corvettes look cool.

01:43:49.000 But because they needed to become...

01:43:51.000 First of all, then there's the gas crisis.

01:43:53.000 So cars started becoming less powerful and more economical.

01:43:57.000 And then they started making them out of plastic and they just looked like shit.

01:44:00.000 And then they weren't doing the drugs anymore.

01:44:02.000 So the design sucked.

01:44:04.000 If you go back to design, like one of the classics that I always put out, like, let's look at a 1969 Boss Mustang.

01:44:14.000 So this is...

01:44:15.000 Bring that up.

01:44:16.000 Acid, marijuana, whatever.

01:44:18.000 These people that were designing these cars were like freaks.

01:44:21.000 They were weirdos.

01:44:21.000 Yeah.

01:44:22.000 You know, because they were artists.

01:44:23.000 And they designed these things.

01:44:25.000 To this day, you look at them, you go, fuck.

01:44:28.000 Fuck.

01:44:29.000 Look at that!

01:44:30.000 Look at that!

01:44:32.000 That's the reason why John Wick killed everybody.

01:44:36.000 That's what it is.

01:44:37.000 They stole his car.

01:44:38.000 They killed his puppy and they stole that car.

01:44:41.000 Those motherfuckers. 1.00

01:44:41.000 And John Wick killed everybody. 1.00

01:44:43.000 That is a fucking work of art, man.

01:44:45.000 Whiplash, fucking engine closes.

01:44:47.000 Goddamn, that's a work of art.

01:44:48.000 Not safe.

01:44:49.000 That is one of the most beautiful things human beings...

01:44:51.000 Fuck the Sistine Chapel.

01:44:53.000 That's one of the most beautiful things human beings have ever created.

01:44:56.000 Look at that goddamn thing.

01:44:57.000 Is that a catalytic convertible or carburetor?

01:44:58.000 Shut your mouth about that.

01:45:00.000 This is Texas.

01:45:01.000 Pull all that stuff off and fucking roll.

01:45:04.000 Roll coal right on the highway.

01:45:06.000 It gets like a block a gallon.

01:45:08.000 Yeah, my Raptor, my Hennessy Raptor that has a thousand horsepower, I get nine miles to the gallon.

01:45:14.000 Suck my dick. 1.00

01:45:16.000 Look at that thing! 0.99

01:45:17.000 That is a different one.

01:45:19.000 That's a classic restoration.

01:45:23.000 Classic Recreations does a resto mod version of it, but that's right from the factory version.

01:45:30.000 Both of them are gorgeous.

01:45:31.000 Does it come in electric?

01:45:32.000 They do make them in electric, honestly.

01:45:34.000 Do they?

01:45:34.000 Come on.

01:45:34.000 Yeah, there's a company that takes old cars and turns them electric.

01:45:37.000 That's sacrilege, I guess.

01:45:38.000 Well, a lot of people have a problem with it.

01:45:40.000 Everati does it.

01:45:41.000 I like the old Aston Martins.

01:45:43.000 Those are cool.

01:45:44.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:44.000 Fuck.

01:45:44.000 Gorgeous, man.

01:45:45.000 Those are incredible.

01:45:46.000 Pull up Everati.

01:45:47.000 Everati is a company that takes old Porsches and they do old Mustangs and they convert them and make them fully electric.

01:45:52.000 Wow.

01:45:53.000 Yeah.

01:45:54.000 Wow.

01:45:54.000 But they look really cool, but...

01:45:56.000 You're missing the whole point.

01:45:57.000 Of course.

01:45:57.000 The whole point is it's a work of art.

01:46:00.000 It's a mechanical experience.

01:46:03.000 I drove a 1985...

01:46:05.000 Porsche Targa.

01:46:06.000 Dude, it's a stick shift.

01:46:09.000 What a beautiful car.

01:46:10.000 You feel everything, but god damn it's beautiful.

01:46:13.000 You just zip in it.

01:46:14.000 It's so light too.

01:46:16.000 It's so engaging.

01:46:17.000 That's a great car.

01:46:18.000 That's the only time I've driven a car and I went, I get it.

01:46:22.000 I've never been into cars.

01:46:23.000 I drive a Tesla 3 with white interior, white exterior.

01:46:29.000 I wanted to be as gay as I could.

01:46:31.000 It's still an incredible car.

01:46:33.000 So they do a bunch of different stuff.

01:46:35.000 So let's go the Porsche 911 964 signature.

01:46:41.000 So look at that.

01:46:42.000 So they take this 964 Porsche, which is one of the most beautiful years, and they turned it into this insane electric beast.

01:46:51.000 Damn.

01:46:52.000 Yeah, incredible car, man.

01:46:53.000 I mean, sub-zero, zero to 60, sub-four seconds.

01:46:57.000 I drove the...

01:46:58.000 Look how beautiful it looks, too.

01:47:00.000 Oh, my God.

01:47:00.000 I drove the new electric Porsche, which is...

01:47:02.000 But look at the range.

01:47:02.000 Up to 200 miles.

01:47:04.000 Shut the fuck up with that range. 1.00

01:47:05.000 That range is nonsense.

01:47:06.000 That's nonsense.

01:47:07.000 Because that's not real.

01:47:07.000 Up to 200 miles is when you're driving really slow.

01:47:09.000 Yeah, that's 100 miles.

01:47:10.000 But I bet that thing is super sick to drive, and goddamn, it looks beautiful.

01:47:14.000 But wouldn't it be better if it went...

01:47:16.000 When you started it up?

01:47:18.000 I think it should be...

01:47:21.000 You want to hear that.

01:47:23.000 Yeah, you want to feel the engagement of the clutch.

01:47:26.000 You want to pull the gear lever down in a second.

01:47:30.000 You want to let off the clutch and hit the gas.

01:47:32.000 You want to feel it.

01:47:34.000 I like what they're doing.

01:47:36.000 I think it's cool.

01:47:37.000 Whatever.

01:47:38.000 I'd take that car and I'd gut it.

01:47:39.000 I'd gut it and put a fucking real engine in it.

01:47:42.000 It looks beautiful.

01:47:42.000 What can I pick one of those up for?

01:47:44.000 Like a regular car?

01:47:45.000 A 964?

01:47:47.000 There's a bunch of different companies.

01:47:48.000 There's a company called...

01:47:49.000 Not Electric.

01:47:51.000 No, no, no.

01:47:52.000 A regular one.

01:47:52.000 There's a company that specializes in air-cooled Porsches.

01:47:56.000 Go to Sloan.

01:47:58.000 What's air-cooled?

01:47:59.000 Sloan.

01:48:00.000 That's those.

01:48:01.000 The old ones.

01:48:01.000 The ones that you drove.

01:48:02.000 That 1980s one.

01:48:04.000 That's an air-cooled one.

01:48:05.000 Love that car.

01:48:05.000 The old ones are the ones that...

01:48:07.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:48:08.000 So this place specializes in Porsches, but particularly air-cooled Porsches.

01:48:14.000 They've got a lot of air-cooled...

01:48:16.000 Click on available cars.

01:48:18.000 So inventory.

01:48:19.000 Go to inventory.

01:48:21.000 That's nice too.

01:48:22.000 So a lot of these are expensive, more modern ones like the 1963. Click on that one, 84 911 Carrera.

01:48:29.000 Look at that.

01:48:30.000 26,000 original miles.

01:48:32.000 That's a gorgeous car.

01:48:33.000 Oh, dude, that's a joy to drive.

01:48:35.000 Yeah, it's beautiful.

01:48:36.000 That car is a joy to drive.

01:48:38.000 100%.

01:48:38.000 How much is that?

01:48:39.000 Oh, it's got to be very expensive.

01:48:41.000 That's a beautiful car.

01:48:42.000 With such low miles, that thing's probably meticulously maintained.

01:48:46.000 It looks incredible.

01:48:47.000 So you're not picking that thing up for this thing?

01:48:48.000 No, no, no.

01:48:49.000 That's an expensive car.

01:48:50.000 And by the way, not very fast.

01:48:52.000 It's not fast.

01:48:53.000 You're missing the point.

01:48:55.000 But it's the handling.

01:48:56.000 It's the feel.

01:48:57.000 It's the experience of driving.

01:48:59.000 It is so analog.

01:49:00.000 It probably doesn't even have power steering.

01:49:03.000 Fuck.

01:49:03.000 It's brand new.

01:49:04.000 It's basically brand new.

01:49:06.000 So you think that...

01:49:08.000 Amazing.

01:49:09.000 They probably sell that for...

01:49:10.000 A couple hundred thousand dollars.

01:49:12.000 A couple hundred?

01:49:12.000 Yeah.

01:49:12.000 Jesus.

01:49:13.000 At least.

01:49:14.000 Okay.

01:49:14.000 I would imagine.

01:49:15.000 I mean, it says contact us for pricing.

01:49:18.000 But if you want to get one like that, a stellar...

01:49:22.000 Look, if you get a 9-11 from 1970, like a 9-11 RS, a good example is a million dollars.

01:49:31.000 What?

01:49:31.000 Yes.

01:49:32.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:49:32.000 Google 1971 9-11 RS Immaculate for sale.

01:49:41.000 I guarantee you they're over a million dollars.

01:49:43.000 Yeah.

01:49:44.000 Because there's just very few of them.

01:49:46.000 Your Model 3 will blow that thing away in every way, shape, or form.

01:49:50.000 Of course.

01:49:51.000 Handling, speed, especially if you have the Model 3 performance.

01:49:54.000 That's why I like my car so much.

01:49:55.000 I like the Tesla.

01:49:56.000 I love it.

01:49:57.000 It's so easy.

01:49:59.000 They make every other car seem stupid.

01:50:01.000 I know.

01:50:01.000 But it's a different experience than driving that thing.

01:50:03.000 That thing is an amusement park ride.

01:50:05.000 Yeah.

01:50:06.000 That thing is a...

01:50:07.000 That's like grinding your own coffee.

01:50:08.000 It's something about it.

01:50:09.000 Yes.

01:50:09.000 There's a manual.

01:50:10.000 The sensations.

01:50:11.000 There's a tactile sensation.

01:50:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:50:14.000 Lighting your own fire on the grill and cooking over hardwood coals.

01:50:17.000 I think there's a huge value to that.

01:50:19.000 Like cooking.

01:50:20.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:20.000 The fact that it takes...

01:50:22.000 You take time to get good at something like cooking the perfect beef stew or whatever the fuck it is.

01:50:29.000 Especially if you're cooking over fire.

01:50:31.000 It brings you this caveman DNA section of your brain.

01:50:36.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:37.000 Also, it makes the food taste better.

01:50:39.000 Convenience and abundance comes with a price like everything else.

01:50:41.000 Sometimes that's a lack of connection.

01:50:43.000 Sometimes just the actual process of doing shit, like the actual process of preparation and all that, is a form of flow that you get into.

01:50:53.000 Yeah.

01:50:54.000 There's a great book called Beyond Boredom and Anxiety by Shiksen Miha.

01:51:00.000 I don't know what the fuck his name is.

01:51:01.000 He's like this Hungarian scientist.

01:51:03.000 He compares the flow state that rock climbers, surgeons, painters, and conductors get into.

01:51:09.000 And it's all very similar because it takes incredible concentration.

01:51:13.000 When you're rock climbing, you don't want to fall.

01:51:14.000 I bet the rock climbers look at the painters like, bitch, you are not in the same flow state as me, motherfucker. 0.95

01:51:19.000 No, they're not because it's life and death, right?

01:51:22.000 Cool site that shows the average sales like it's a stock almost.

01:51:25.000 So five have been sold for an average of $708,000.

01:51:29.000 Oh my god.

01:51:30.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:51:31.000 My lord.

01:51:32.000 That's crazy.

01:51:33.000 That's insane.

01:51:33.000 $2.5 million.

01:51:34.000 $2.5 million for that one.

01:51:36.000 Click on that.

01:51:36.000 Can you click on that so I can see it?

01:51:37.000 I've got to sell a couple more tickets stand up.

01:51:39.000 Does it let you see what it looks like?

01:51:40.000 There it is.

01:51:41.000 Let's see if we can find it.

01:51:43.000 God.

01:51:44.000 By the way, a lot of that is like a dick measuring contest.

01:51:50.000 Like that I have a pristine model.

01:51:52.000 They don't drive it.

01:51:53.000 This is like a Jerry Seinfeld type vehicle.

01:51:55.000 He would own one of those.

01:51:57.000 I have a 1993 RS America.

01:52:02.000 It's a 964. I know you've seen it.

01:52:04.000 That little red Porsche that I have.

01:52:06.000 No power steering.

01:52:09.000 No air conditioning.

01:52:10.000 No nothing.

01:52:11.000 It doesn't have a radio.

01:52:12.000 It doesn't have jack shit.

01:52:13.000 It's so raw.

01:52:15.000 It's so raw.

01:52:16.000 It's raw and rowdy.

01:52:18.000 It sounds loud.

01:52:19.000 You feel everything.

01:52:21.000 Every time I drive it, I'm like, why don't I drive this raw?

01:52:22.000 Do you remember when I used to have that fucking Bronco?

01:52:25.000 Yeah.

01:52:26.000 1971 with a 350 Windsor, whatever the fuck it was.

01:52:29.000 I don't know.

01:52:29.000 Carburetor.

01:52:30.000 I remember you came to my house and that.

01:52:31.000 Dude, I would get dizzy on the highway.

01:52:33.000 From the gas fields.

01:52:34.000 Fucking the gas fields.

01:52:35.000 And it had no top.

01:52:36.000 Dude, I thought I was going to pass out.

01:52:38.000 I was like, I went to the mechanic.

01:52:39.000 I think I'm going to pass out.

01:52:40.000 I was all panicked.

01:52:41.000 You know, he goes, it's just the way it is.

01:52:43.000 I go, what do you mean it's the way it is?

01:52:44.000 You're dying slowly, but you're living more.

01:52:46.000 Fucking sold that thing for 500 bucks or something.

01:52:47.000 I don't know.

01:52:48.000 I was like, get away from me.

01:52:48.000 I was so happy when you bought it.

01:52:50.000 I like when you get irrational.

01:52:52.000 I want you to be more irrational.

01:52:53.000 I think it's good for you.

01:52:54.000 I was that way with dogs, too.

01:52:55.000 Yeah.

01:52:55.000 Oh, is it a fighting dog?

01:52:56.000 Really?

01:52:57.000 Let's get it.

01:52:57.000 Fresh out of the box?

01:52:58.000 Yeah, let's do it.

01:52:58.000 Let's get it.

01:52:59.000 I think that a little bit of irrationality for comedians is very good for you.

01:53:04.000 100%.

01:53:05.000 I think it's pretty irrational.

01:53:06.000 You gotta have a little bit of fun in you.

01:53:08.000 There's a fun auction coming up in a month.

01:53:10.000 Oh, yeah?

01:53:10.000 All these are for sale.

01:53:12.000 Coming from Paris.

01:53:13.000 Oh, that Alfa Romeo, that little thing right there?

01:53:15.000 That little Alfa Romeo, 1965?

01:53:18.000 I guarantee you that's fun as fuck to drive, too.

01:53:20.000 Really?

01:53:20.000 It looks shitty to me.

01:53:21.000 Oh, it looks shitty, but I'm telling you, you feel every fucking bump on the road through your ass.

01:53:26.000 Yeah.

01:53:26.000 I never got into those 356 Porsches.

01:53:30.000 Yeah.

01:53:30.000 I think those look like a fucking VW Bug.

01:53:32.000 They do look like a VW Bug.

01:53:33.000 They look stupid.

01:53:34.000 But that right, to the right of it, the 92 RS? That's cool.

01:53:38.000 That's what I have.

01:53:39.000 Yeah.

01:53:39.000 I have one of those with a ducktail.

01:53:41.000 I have a red one with a ducktail.

01:53:42.000 I love it.

01:53:44.000 I love it.

01:53:45.000 You know what it is?

01:53:46.000 They have a personality.

01:53:48.000 There's something about getting into...

01:53:50.000 I had a girlfriend who had a vintage Mercedes.

01:53:53.000 And I swear to God, I got attached to that car.

01:53:55.000 It felt like an experience.

01:53:57.000 I would get in there and it had a personality almost.

01:54:00.000 It was like...

01:54:01.000 100%.

01:54:01.000 You know what I mean?

01:54:02.000 Because somebody had made that.

01:54:04.000 Somebody had taken the time.

01:54:05.000 A lot of that shit's made by hand, I think.

01:54:07.000 Well, they're definitely put together by hand.

01:54:09.000 Yeah, I mean, especially back then.

01:54:10.000 But considered by craftsmen.

01:54:13.000 100%.

01:54:13.000 Like, when something's really considered by craftsmen, and you cannot replace the feel of, like, something that's been crafted out of leather.

01:54:21.000 Click on that red one.

01:54:22.000 1970. Look at that, son.

01:54:25.000 Oh, my goodness.

01:54:26.000 That's a beautiful piece of machinery.

01:54:28.000 God, it's so gorgeous.

01:54:28.000 It's an expression of artistry, man.

01:54:30.000 That is such a gorgeous car.

01:54:32.000 Yeah.

01:54:33.000 That is fucking beautiful.

01:54:34.000 That's European, brother. 0.88

01:54:35.000 And it's so light.

01:54:37.000 Those cars are so light, dude.

01:54:39.000 That's like a 2,000 pound car.

01:54:41.000 Really?

01:54:41.000 Yeah, they're so little.

01:54:43.000 Yeah, when you're near them, they're so little.

01:54:45.000 You know how much my three-ways?

01:54:46.000 Almost 6,000 pounds.

01:54:48.000 Oh, they're very heavy.

01:54:48.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:54:49.000 They fuck up those borders.

01:54:51.000 It's a fucking tank.

01:54:52.000 What are they called?

01:54:53.000 The rails.

01:54:54.000 Guardrails.

01:54:55.000 They go right through those things.

01:54:56.000 Because they're too heavy.

01:54:58.000 Dude.

01:54:59.000 Car wheels are meant for regular sized cars.

01:55:01.000 Look how gorgeous that is.

01:55:03.000 Look at that damn thing, man.

01:55:05.000 God, it's so beautiful.

01:55:08.000 Fire extinguisher.

01:55:09.000 That guy maintained that motherfucker.

01:55:11.000 That guy knows how to drive, I bet.

01:55:13.000 Look at that steering wheel.

01:55:15.000 I picture myself in a tweed coat.

01:55:18.000 Oh, it's so gorgeous.

01:55:19.000 I bet that's $150,000.

01:55:21.000 How much is that?

01:55:22.000 It's going to be auctioned.

01:55:24.000 It's estimated for 180 euros.

01:55:26.000 180 euros.

01:55:27.000 So more.

01:55:28.000 So 180 euros is like 200 and something thousand.

01:55:31.000 Which makes sense.

01:55:32.000 It's fucking beautiful, man.

01:55:33.000 And they don't make them anymore.

01:55:34.000 You know, if you want one of those.

01:55:35.000 And when you drive it, I guarantee.

01:55:37.000 I guarantee you'll have a fucking smile.

01:55:38.000 You'll have a fucking smile on your face.

01:55:40.000 It only has 180 horsepower.

01:55:42.000 Jesus.

01:55:43.000 Not fast.

01:55:44.000 They're not fast.

01:55:45.000 No.

01:55:45.000 Even mine has 300. Mine only has 300 horsepower.

01:55:47.000 And I had it juiced up a little bit to get to 300. I was going to say.

01:55:50.000 Yeah.

01:55:51.000 It's not fast.

01:55:51.000 I must give you worms.

01:55:52.000 It's not fast.

01:55:52.000 That fucking shit.

01:55:53.000 Not fast.

01:55:54.000 No.

01:55:54.000 No, but it doesn't matter.

01:55:56.000 It's just fun.

01:55:57.000 It's engaging.

01:55:57.000 Well, you used to like big trucks, too, though.

01:55:59.000 You like the Denali's and stuff.

01:56:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:56:01.000 Well, I have the Raptor.

01:56:02.000 That was the Hennessy Raptor.

01:56:03.000 You know why?

01:56:04.000 I like to see what's going on over there.

01:56:07.000 I don't want to be at the same height as the cars.

01:56:10.000 When someone slams on the brake, you can't see what's going on.

01:56:12.000 Well, up here, you can see someone doing something stupid, like five cars ahead.

01:56:15.000 You're like, oh, Jesus.

01:56:16.000 And it's safer.

01:56:18.000 Way safer.

01:56:18.000 To be in a lifted truck is safer.

01:56:20.000 You see things more.

01:56:21.000 100%.

01:56:22.000 That is...

01:56:22.000 Very important.

01:56:23.000 Yeah.

01:56:24.000 It's very important.

01:56:25.000 The elevated viewpoint for a safety perspective is important.

01:56:29.000 Right.

01:56:30.000 Yeah, and you get used to that.

01:56:31.000 You like it a lot.

01:56:32.000 That's the kind of car you take out on a countryside.

01:56:34.000 Oh, yeah, man.

01:56:35.000 And you wear a scarf.

01:56:36.000 You wear gloves.

01:56:38.000 Gloves, scarf.

01:56:39.000 And you wear the glasses.

01:56:42.000 I want to be European so badly sometimes.

01:56:46.000 And your lady's doing this. 1.00

01:56:48.000 You're going too fast.

01:56:49.000 Yeah, you don't go with a girl. 1.00

01:56:51.000 Go by yourself.

01:56:52.000 Go by yourself?

01:56:52.000 Yeah, you don't go with it.

01:56:53.000 Really?

01:56:54.000 You don't want to hear that.

01:56:55.000 Shut the fuck up about TikTok. 0.99

01:56:58.000 That's different.

01:56:59.000 That's different.

01:57:00.000 That's hot.

01:57:01.000 Well, that's preposterous.

01:57:02.000 That's a $4 million car.

01:57:04.000 That's a Pagani. 1.00

01:57:06.000 I don't even know how to say that.

01:57:07.000 How do you say that?

01:57:08.000 It looks like an arachnid.

01:57:10.000 That's a monstrous vehicle.

01:57:12.000 Yeah, but it's also ridiculous.

01:57:15.000 I mean, does it come with a Batman suit?

01:57:17.000 Here's the thing.

01:57:18.000 That's all great, that's all fast, but that can't fuck with a new Corvette.

01:57:22.000 Yeah, it's a track car for sure.

01:57:24.000 It's a track car, but it's not even as good as a track car as a new Corvette.

01:57:27.000 The new Corvette ZR1 is one of the greatest cars the world has ever built.

01:57:32.000 It's over a thousand horsepower.

01:57:34.000 A thousand!

01:57:35.000 Over a thousand horsepower for the new Corvette ZR1. It does zero to 60 in under three seconds.

01:57:41.000 It's going to break all the records.

01:57:43.000 It's probably going to break Nürburgring records.

01:57:45.000 It hasn't even been released yet.

01:57:47.000 It's a fucking amazing car.

01:57:49.000 It's the greatest American car ever.

01:57:52.000 Because it's just reliability, everything, or what?

01:57:54.000 Everything.

01:57:55.000 They're reliable.

01:57:56.000 They're fucking incredible looking.

01:57:58.000 They look like an exotic car.

01:57:59.000 This is the new ZR1. Does it have volume?

01:58:02.000 Can we hear what it sounds like?

01:58:04.000 Hi, I'm Brad Frowns from Chevrolet Marketing.

01:58:06.000 Brad, you fucking knocked it out of the park, Brad!

01:58:10.000 This is an amazing vehicle.

01:58:13.000 This vehicle's faster, handles better than that stupid fucking $5 billion car.

01:58:18.000 That thing's the shit.

01:58:20.000 That's America, fuck yeah, in a car. 0.92

01:58:22.000 I mean, it's so stupid.

01:58:24.000 How could you go to a dealership?

01:58:26.000 Look at that carbon fiber wheels.

01:58:27.000 How can you go to a dealership and buy a 1,100 horsepower car?

01:58:31.000 That's insane.

01:58:31.000 Look at it with a giant wing on the back of it.

01:58:34.000 It shouldn't be, but it is.

01:58:35.000 And that's why it's America!

01:58:37.000 Motherfucker!

01:58:38.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:58:39.000 Is that...

01:58:39.000 Drag to rotate.

01:58:40.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:58:41.000 Is that fin that was on there necessary?

01:58:43.000 Yes.

01:58:44.000 Yes, because you want to look like an asshole.

01:58:45.000 That looks great.

01:58:46.000 Yeah, you can get it without the fin.

01:58:47.000 Because you want to look like an asshole.

01:58:48.000 Yeah.

01:58:49.000 That looks good.

01:58:49.000 It's downforce.

01:58:50.000 It gives you more downforce.

01:58:52.000 So it'll actually slow your top-end speed, so the high-end speed will be like 205 miles an hour instead of 215 or whatever the fuck it is.

01:59:01.000 I like that.

01:59:01.000 That's a good look right there.

01:59:02.000 It's a gorgeous car.

01:59:03.000 I don't like that stupid fin.

01:59:04.000 That is a fucking beautiful...

01:59:06.000 Does the fin come up or something?

01:59:08.000 Well, no.

01:59:09.000 It's adjustable, but it's downforce for the track.

01:59:12.000 That is an amazing car for the track.

01:59:14.000 That's a good-looking car.

01:59:15.000 And they make them in a convertible.

01:59:16.000 Check out the convertible.

01:59:17.000 They won't break your bank, probably, right?

01:59:19.000 Or are they very expensive?

01:59:20.000 It's about $200,000 before markup and all that other jazz.

01:59:24.000 I think it's 2.3 seconds, 0-60.

01:59:28.000 Let's fucking go.

01:59:29.000 Nine-second quarter-mile right from the factory.

01:59:33.000 Motherfucker!

01:59:34.000 That's what you need.

01:59:35.000 That's what you need, Callan.

01:59:36.000 You do.

01:59:36.000 It's very important.

01:59:37.000 Where your special kicks it and you start selling out giant theaters.

01:59:40.000 Let's go, baby! 0.99

01:59:41.000 Let's get a little...

01:59:43.000 And you run away from looters.

01:59:48.000 Once I start selling theater tickets.

01:59:51.000 Yeah, once you get the fuck out of Los Angeles.

01:59:53.000 I know.

01:59:53.000 I gotta do that.

01:59:54.000 You've been telling me that a long time.

01:59:55.000 Listen, this might be the one.

01:59:56.000 I talked to my wife.

01:59:57.000 I hope it is.

01:59:58.000 But I have my other kids, so I have two families.

02:00:01.000 Talked them into it, too.

02:00:02.000 I know.

02:00:03.000 They come out here, they'll realize, oh my god, what have I been doing?

02:00:05.000 What the fuck were we doing?

02:00:06.000 What were we doing?

02:00:07.000 One of my friends came here.

02:00:09.000 Plus, when you're on the road like me, traveling from Texas is way easier than traveling from fucking Los Angeles.

02:00:13.000 Ron White told me that in 2018 when I started thinking about Austin.

02:00:16.000 Jesus.

02:00:17.000 He moved here before any of us.

02:00:18.000 Ron White was the original.

02:00:20.000 He was the original, the Texas set.

02:00:22.000 Because he's from Texas.

02:00:24.000 He goes, I fucking love Austin.

02:00:26.000 Food's great.

02:00:27.000 People are nice.

02:00:28.000 It's in the middle of the country.

02:00:29.000 You can travel anywhere.

02:00:30.000 I was like, wow, can I live in Texas?

02:00:31.000 I started thinking about it.

02:00:32.000 Can I live in Texas?

02:00:33.000 And then when COVID hit, Ron being here was one of the things that moved me here.

02:00:39.000 Really?

02:00:39.000 Yeah, I was like, I love Ron.

02:00:40.000 At least I can hang out with Ron.

02:00:42.000 Ron's here, one of the greatest comics, period.

02:00:45.000 I watched that motherfucker and I'm like, and he's still doing it at his age.

02:00:48.000 Killing it.

02:00:49.000 How old is he?

02:00:49.000 He's a thousand years old.

02:00:51.000 And he's better now than ever.

02:00:52.000 Better than ever.

02:00:53.000 I love that.

02:00:54.000 And he's at the club every night.

02:00:55.000 He's there all the time.

02:00:57.000 All the time.

02:00:57.000 Killing it.

02:00:58.000 Killing it.

02:00:59.000 Incredible.

02:00:59.000 And just the...

02:01:00.000 Best fucking human being.

02:01:02.000 He's just the best guy.

02:01:03.000 So when he was coming here in 2018, I was like, maybe I could go.

02:01:07.000 I don't know.

02:01:08.000 I can't live in Texas.

02:01:08.000 Because I've always been trying to escape LA forever.

02:01:11.000 But then it's like my business was there.

02:01:13.000 The comedians were there.

02:01:14.000 The store was there.

02:01:15.000 And there was like so many things there.

02:01:16.000 It took something like COVID to make us all just take this crazy chance and move to Texas.

02:01:22.000 Yeah.

02:01:23.000 Well, these fires, I feel like these fires are kind of almost like my wake-up call.

02:01:27.000 Very much like the same thing.

02:01:28.000 Very much like the same thing.

02:01:29.000 It's the same kind of experience.

02:01:31.000 Hand me that bad boy.

02:01:33.000 You're going to have one too, huh?

02:01:34.000 Yeah, let's go, Brian Kellen.

02:01:36.000 We're men.

02:01:36.000 We're smoking cigars like men.

02:01:39.000 I like this new thing.

02:01:41.000 Having a guy like Ron here, though, was like, okay, well, at least I'll have Ron as a friend.

02:01:47.000 And then Tony moved here.

02:01:48.000 I was like, oh shit, Tony's here.

02:01:50.000 And then I remember one time I talked to Segura, and I was like, dude, it's fucking awesome.

02:01:55.000 I love it here.

02:01:55.000 He's like, fuck it, I'm moving.

02:01:57.000 Really?

02:01:57.000 He was here quick.

02:01:58.000 How do I open this?

02:02:00.000 Here, you can use this one.

02:02:02.000 I'm an idiot.

02:02:04.000 I can't figure shit out.

02:02:05.000 How come you can't figure things out?

02:02:06.000 Because I'm bad with that stuff, okay?

02:02:08.000 That's why my wife was like, get out of here. 1.00

02:02:10.000 You can't do it.

02:02:10.000 I'll take care of it.

02:02:12.000 I'm like, raise my kids.

02:02:13.000 Save them.

02:02:14.000 Tell my story.

02:02:15.000 I'll be in Austin.

02:02:16.000 Sorry about the fires.

02:02:18.000 Tell them to watch your special.

02:02:21.000 Tell all the kids at school to watch Daddy's special.

02:02:23.000 They watch Daddy's special.

02:02:25.000 It's going to be good.

02:02:26.000 False gods.

02:02:27.000 I'm excited, man.

02:02:28.000 Are you going to put it on YouTube?

02:02:29.000 Yeah.

02:02:29.000 That's the move?

02:02:30.000 Yeah, I think so, right?

02:02:30.000 YouTube's the move because you get the most views, for sure.

02:02:34.000 Like, look at Shane.

02:02:34.000 I'm proud of it, too.

02:02:36.000 That's awesome.

02:02:37.000 You get a great set, you put a great set, and the club is the best place to film.

02:02:41.000 The audiences are so hyped.

02:02:42.000 Well, that's what I thought.

02:02:43.000 I was like, I would rather shoot it here.

02:02:47.000 Because you did that club right, man.

02:02:50.000 You did that club right.

02:02:51.000 It makes such a difference.

02:02:54.000 Yeah.

02:02:58.000 Well, a lot of it's because of Ron.

02:03:00.000 If it wasn't for Ron, and then one time when we did shows, we were doing shows at the Vulcan, and Ron hadn't gone on stage in like eight months, and he got off stage and he grabbed me by the shoulders.

02:03:09.000 He goes, whatever the fuck we gotta do, we're gonna keep doing this.

02:03:12.000 He goes, you gotta open up that club. 0.86

02:03:14.000 I was like, okay.

02:03:15.000 I've got to open up a club.

02:03:16.000 Wow.

02:03:16.000 Because I was like, I've got to open up a club.

02:03:19.000 It was one of those things like, I'm so fucking busy.

02:03:22.000 How am I going to do this?

02:03:23.000 It's a lot, right?

02:03:24.000 How am I going to handle this?

02:03:25.000 How am I going to handle the stress of the business and 100 employees?

02:03:31.000 It turns out you don't have to.

02:03:32.000 Just get really good people to run it for you.

02:03:34.000 That's it.

02:03:35.000 I get a kick out of you because I don't know.

02:03:37.000 You still have, for this podcast, what, three people that work for you?

02:03:40.000 I mean four, but more than that.

02:03:42.000 Yeah, we have Brandon, our video editor.

02:03:44.000 We have Matt, who books everything.

02:03:47.000 Young Jamie.

02:03:48.000 And moi.

02:03:49.000 Yeah.

02:03:50.000 That's it.

02:03:50.000 My buddy is...

02:03:51.000 They're going to start podcasting.

02:03:53.000 Well, we've got to get a production team.

02:03:54.000 We've got to get this other...

02:03:55.000 I'm like, hey, bro.

02:03:55.000 Well, you're going to need a production team if you don't have Jamie.

02:03:58.000 The thing is, Jamie's a wizard.

02:03:59.000 He's a monster.

02:04:00.000 And he's also a little bit on the spectrum.

02:04:02.000 And Jamie can...

02:04:03.000 Which side?

02:04:04.000 The good side.

02:04:05.000 You're on the good side.

02:04:06.000 You're on the fun side.

02:04:07.000 You're totally socially aware.

02:04:09.000 You're fun to hang with.

02:04:11.000 You're one of those stoics.

02:04:11.000 He's like a stoic.

02:04:12.000 But Jamie's just on the ball, and his ability to pull things up while we're talking about him, while he's managing the podcast, no one could do that.

02:04:20.000 You need a team of people to do what he does.

02:04:23.000 But then you've got to deal with a team of people that are just like...

02:04:27.000 One of the coolest things about Jamie is how, first of all, we're friends.

02:04:31.000 And he's the easiest to hang out with.

02:04:33.000 Jamie's so easy to hang out with.

02:04:35.000 So it doesn't matter who's in this room.

02:04:37.000 There's no weirdness.

02:04:39.000 Like, oh, this guy is complaining about that guy out there.

02:04:43.000 And he's not trying to be...

02:04:44.000 Anything he's not.

02:04:45.000 So what happens in that position is that's kind of a big job.

02:04:49.000 Right.

02:04:49.000 And it'd be very easy to go, I'm part of this podcast.

02:04:52.000 I'm a huge part of it.

02:04:53.000 He doesn't get his ego.

02:04:54.000 Well, that's happened to a few friends of mine where they had to get rid of their producer because the producer was like, you know, we did this.

02:04:59.000 And he's like, hey.

02:05:01.000 He pointed cameras at a comedian that was already famous.

02:05:04.000 Like, cut the shit.

02:05:05.000 Like, this is fucking stupid.

02:05:06.000 We all have our role.

02:05:07.000 We all do our thing.

02:05:08.000 Yeah, but it's like what happens with a lot of these people is they develop these podcasts and then they have I go to my friend's podcast and he has 10 people working for him.

02:05:17.000 And I was like, what are all these people doing?

02:05:19.000 What do they do?

02:05:20.000 What are they doing?

02:05:21.000 This is crazy.

02:05:22.000 Why do you have all these people?

02:05:23.000 And then they have interns.

02:05:25.000 You have people working.

02:05:26.000 You're making millions of dollars and they're working for free?

02:05:29.000 I don't agree with interns.

02:05:31.000 I would never have an intern.

02:05:32.000 If I had an intern, I would pay them.

02:05:35.000 100%.

02:05:36.000 I don't even know if you're allowed to pay certain interns because they're supposed to get like... 0.98

02:05:39.000 I would break the law.

02:05:41.000 I'd break the law and pay them.

02:05:43.000 If you can be a paid intern, it's fine.

02:05:44.000 Can you have a paid intern in a college?

02:05:46.000 I think what happens is it builds resentment if you're not...

02:05:49.000 100%.

02:05:49.000 You've got to be careful with all that.

02:05:50.000 Well, that's a problem with rich people when they have assistants, too.

02:05:53.000 Like, Al Madrigal had an assistant once.

02:05:55.000 He was like, yeah, I've got to get an assistant.

02:05:57.000 I go, no, you don't.

02:05:58.000 I go, listen to me.

02:05:58.000 Do less shit.

02:06:00.000 Just do less shit.

02:06:01.000 If you need an assistant, you don't...

02:06:02.000 I don't need an assistant, no.

02:06:03.000 You do less things.

02:06:05.000 Yeah.

02:06:05.000 You don't want...

02:06:05.000 I remember when David Spade had an assistant, the dude tried to duct tape him, and the guy, he tasered him.

02:06:11.000 He was going to kill him.

02:06:12.000 Yeah.

02:06:13.000 The guy went to jail.

02:06:14.000 Fuck.

02:06:14.000 Henry the Ace said something like that.

02:06:16.000 He said, every time I promote somebody, I create...

02:06:18.000 Every time I promote somebody, I create eight enemies and one ingrate.

02:06:22.000 Something like that.

02:06:23.000 I think that was the quote.

02:06:24.000 It's great.

02:06:25.000 Yeah, but didn't he kill a bunch of his wives? 1.00

02:06:27.000 He was terrible.

02:06:28.000 Henry VIII was a fucking idiot.

02:06:30.000 That's the great story.

02:06:30.000 Maybe he's just a piece of shit.

02:06:31.000 You know what he did, right?

02:06:33.000 So the Catholic Church, he wanted a son, and his wife was barren, and he wanted an heir, and the Catholic Church would not codify his divorce.

02:06:43.000 So he was like, okay, I'm going to start the Anglican Church.

02:06:46.000 Fuck off.

02:06:47.000 I'm going to start my own church, and it's going to be okay with divorce.

02:06:50.000 So he created the Anglican Church.

02:06:52.000 And the great story of A Man for All Seasons, Sir Thomas More, was Thomas More would not join the Anglican Church, and they killed him for it.

02:07:00.000 And he said, I am more than my appetites.

02:07:03.000 I am more than my body.

02:07:05.000 I am my principles, and my principles are higher, and I'm going to stick to the Catholic Church. 0.94

02:07:09.000 I wish I was his friend.

02:07:10.000 No shit, right?

02:07:11.000 I'd be like, yo, dude, just join the other church.

02:07:13.000 Well, we all would, right?

02:07:14.000 Listen.

02:07:15.000 Get a lot of shit done.

02:07:18.000 I was in acting class, as you remember that, and one of the, kind of a famous actor, he did the scene.

02:07:25.000 This is so great.

02:07:26.000 He did The Man for All Seasons.

02:07:29.000 So you do a scene, and a lot of working actors in the class, this is Los Angeles, and we all sit back, and now the great teacher will now break it apart.

02:07:38.000 And he, the actor, began to weep.

02:07:42.000 And I said, why are you crying?

02:07:43.000 And he says, because I'm not this man.

02:07:45.000 I would have joined the Anglican Church, and it bothers me that I'm not the kind of principled man that would stick to...

02:07:52.000 At least he knows.

02:07:53.000 That was pretty cool.

02:07:53.000 At least he's not that guy, I wish I was a Navy SEAL, I'd kill everybody.

02:07:56.000 Yeah, he was one of my favorite actors, too.

02:07:58.000 And I was like, there you go.

02:07:59.000 At least you know your fucking limitations.

02:08:01.000 Never say what you would do in an emergency.

02:08:03.000 Because you don't know.

02:08:04.000 Also, probably why he's a great actor.

02:08:06.000 Because he was aware of everything.

02:08:09.000 I think so.

02:08:10.000 Of, like, the differences between him and those other people, you know?

02:08:14.000 Well, you better know you're vulnerable.

02:08:16.000 Like, you walk around like a tough guy.

02:08:17.000 Right.

02:08:18.000 The real tough guys are the guys that have done a lot of shit, or who've seen a lot of combat, or at least been involved in, like, Evan Hafer, for example, has probably done a lot more than, he never talks about any of it.

02:08:27.000 You'll never hear him say anything, but, and for that matter, Andy Stump, same way.

02:08:30.000 They don't really tell you anything, but they're very aware that, first of all, it's very easy to be killed.

02:08:36.000 Very easy.

02:08:37.000 I don't care how strong you are, what you bench.

02:08:39.000 A tiny child can kill you with a gun.

02:08:41.000 Right away.

02:08:42.000 So you get a real sense.

02:08:43.000 Part of what's really good about just doing combat sports or doing any kind of, even a rough sport, contact sport, is that you come into contact with objective reality.

02:08:54.000 It's very hard to start living this fake existence.

02:08:58.000 And part of the problem, I think, with our society is a lot of people controlling the narrative don't really...

02:09:04.000 Pay a price for being wrong because they live a life and they live a job where they're working with their mouth.

02:09:10.000 They're working with only their brain.

02:09:12.000 And I think you get a lot from actually Trying to grow your own food or doing whatever it is.

02:09:17.000 You own a farm and you realize that life eats life.

02:09:22.000 Mother nature is a motherfucker and wants to kill everything you try to grow. 1.00

02:09:26.000 It gives you a very different perspective on reality and what the world is about.

02:09:30.000 Oh, for sure.

02:09:31.000 Well, that's a giant problem with urban environments.

02:09:34.000 That's why urban environments all get to these sort of esoteric philosophical ideas about what society would be like.

02:09:41.000 Because they're completely separate.

02:09:45.000 They're buying all their food from either a restaurant or a grocery store.

02:09:50.000 They're not farming.

02:09:51.000 They're not doing anything.

02:09:52.000 They're enjoying meat without any death.

02:09:54.000 Right.

02:09:55.000 You ever see Steven Pinker's book, The Blank Slate?

02:09:57.000 Yes.

02:09:58.000 You know, when the anthropologists came by their name, I think they were at Harvard, and they came back from studying the Yanomami Indians or whatever in the Amazon basin.

02:10:07.000 They were like, "Hey, guys, I know you think just white and white." Anglo-Saxons are aggressive, and we have a culture that rewards male aggression. 0.76

02:10:15.000 Those people have never been in contact with anybody white or Western, and the guys that get laid the most are the guys that kill the most people in combat and have their hair on their daggers.

02:10:24.000 So they have their version of a fucking all-star quarterback, too, and he gets all the pussy. 1.00

02:10:29.000 And they were like, what the fuck?

02:10:31.000 And they literally attack their reputations and everything.

02:10:35.000 They drove him out of academia.

02:10:36.000 It's crazy.

02:10:37.000 Turns out that was truth.

02:10:38.000 It should be obvious.

02:10:39.000 It should be obvious.

02:10:41.000 There's been a series of events that human beings have gone through that have developed this certain people.

02:10:50.000 Like, we understand.

02:10:52.000 It's an understanding that certain people are better at survival.

02:10:55.000 Certain people are better at being the leader.

02:10:57.000 Certain people are better at warriors.

02:10:58.000 Yeah.

02:10:59.000 And life takes a certain amount of aggression and competitive spirit.

02:11:01.000 Oh, yeah.

02:11:02.000 Or you're gonna fucking get eaten.

02:11:03.000 Oh, yeah.

02:11:04.000 Okay?

02:11:04.000 Yeah, you're gonna get fucked is really what happens.

02:11:06.000 That's right.

02:11:07.000 For sure.

02:11:08.000 So don't...

02:11:08.000 It's great.

02:11:09.000 I love that we're all...

02:11:10.000 It's all utopian.

02:11:12.000 Until your kids don't have enough to eat. 0.55

02:11:14.000 And then I'm gonna kill...

02:11:15.000 That's what happens.

02:11:16.000 People are really kumbaya until your kids...

02:11:19.000 Have to struggle for resources, and then they become genocidal.

02:11:23.000 Jared Diamond, who wrote Guns, Germs, and Steel, did the study with the fucking people up in the Guinea Highlands.

02:11:30.000 The minute, the minute they started running out of resources, they would start coming up with stories about the other tribe over there that were basically, yeah, they eat their own kids.

02:11:41.000 Yeah, they're fucking really evil.

02:11:42.000 Just to whip up, just to justify what they were about to do to the other tribe. 0.64

02:11:47.000 Because they got their stuff.

02:11:49.000 Yeah.

02:11:49.000 Human beings.

02:11:50.000 I mean, there's beautiful things in urban environments in society where you don't have to struggle.

02:11:55.000 Yeah.

02:11:56.000 You don't have to do that.

02:11:56.000 So you can get much more involved in art.

02:12:00.000 You get more cooperative.

02:12:01.000 There's a lot of things that people can achieve when they have that sort of shelter, but there's a balance to be achieved in our society, the influence.

02:12:10.000 And the problem is the influence of these people that are detached in urban environments is so significant because there's so many of them.

02:12:17.000 There's so many more people that are detached than are connected.

02:12:21.000 We have this very weird appreciation and understanding of resources and of just how hard it is to just survive without modern conveniences.

02:12:32.000 I think what changed me a lot was when I was younger, I was accidentally around some pretty rough people, some criminals, people that were bad, violent.

02:12:47.000 I think I remember going, I remember, it's very scary when you're around people that are, you know, like that.

02:12:54.000 And I never forgot it because I was pretty naive as most of us are coming up because I had been around a good family and stuff like that.

02:13:02.000 And I saw how ugly and dangerous some men can be, especially when nobody's looking.

02:13:12.000 I never forgot the idea...

02:13:14.000 Especially in the areas that you grew up in.

02:13:15.000 That's right.

02:13:16.000 I mean...

02:13:16.000 Well, I lived in...

02:13:17.000 Remember, also, I was in the war in Lebanon.

02:13:18.000 Right.

02:13:19.000 So, I think...

02:13:21.000 How old were you?

02:13:21.000 I was...

02:13:22.000 I left Lebanon when I was...

02:13:26.000 I went to...

02:13:27.000 I was 11 years old.

02:13:29.000 Yeah.

02:13:29.000 So, just imagine experiencing that as a 10-year-old boy.

02:13:33.000 Yeah.

02:13:33.000 And then I went back.

02:13:35.000 I went back when I was, I think, 15, 16, and I didn't recognize anything from my childhood.

02:13:40.000 So I was in Lebanon for five years.

02:13:42.000 And so I had wonderful memories.

02:13:44.000 And then the war broke out and we were stuck.

02:13:47.000 My father couldn't get back in because he was...

02:13:50.000 And then we got evacuated.

02:13:51.000 But I was living in the Holiday Inn for six months, and we had to sleep on the floor.

02:13:56.000 And then finally we had to go down into the fucking underground parking lot because they were bombing.

02:14:01.000 And you would wake up and you would hear machine guns and stuff.

02:14:04.000 It was very scary.

02:14:08.000 You're a kid.

02:14:09.000 And I remember seeing on a balcony, I remember seeing planes bomb a gas station.

02:14:13.000 I never forgot it.

02:14:14.000 I never forgot seeing the planes come in and the missiles dropped and just, you know, and the sound, dude, the sound.

02:14:22.000 And I don't know if anybody who's been in war knows this, but I was on the beach.

02:14:26.000 I was on Coral Beach.

02:14:28.000 And it probably was in the 80s.

02:14:31.000 I was 14, 15, 16, whatever I was.

02:14:34.000 They shot a rocket over our head, okay?

02:14:37.000 And I think it was a test fire.

02:14:39.000 Dude, when I tell you that the sound was so loud that we all fell on the ground.

02:14:44.000 I fell down on the sand.

02:14:46.000 The sound was so disoriented that everybody went down on their hands and knees.

02:14:50.000 That's how loud it was over your head.

02:14:52.000 And I think that when you are in that kind of proximity.

02:14:57.000 To violence like that.

02:14:59.000 And then later on, when I was older, I was around some people who were pretty rough, you know?

02:15:03.000 And for me, I knew that if the grid broke down, that those people were going to take over.

02:15:10.000 And there was going to be no fucking mercy.

02:15:12.000 And I've never forgot that.

02:15:13.000 And so you could see with COVID, the minute that...

02:15:16.000 You know, law enforcement had to restrict their resources.

02:15:19.000 You saw what happened.

02:15:21.000 Looting.

02:15:21.000 You saw crime.

02:15:22.000 You saw homelessness.

02:15:23.000 And the fabric of a society can break down so fucking quickly.

02:15:27.000 People don't realize it.

02:15:28.000 Until you've been in countries where it's happened.

02:15:30.000 And until you've been around men who negotiate the world in a violent way.

02:15:37.000 And maybe in ways that are a little bit outside the law.

02:15:41.000 You don't know what you're doing, man.

02:15:42.000 You got no idea.

02:15:43.000 So all those people...

02:15:44.000 And I love when the left starts talking about violent revolution.

02:15:50.000 And you're in college, kid.

02:15:51.000 You have no fucking idea.

02:15:53.000 You don't know what you're asking for.

02:15:55.000 And don't wake up the conservative.

02:15:57.000 Don't do that.

02:15:58.000 Let's not even talk about it, because I know a lot of guys that shoot real straight, you know?

02:16:03.000 And often.

02:16:04.000 Yeah, and often, and they're very comfortable.

02:16:06.000 They're really good at it.

02:16:06.000 And they're comfortable on those violent spaces.

02:16:08.000 They're kind of ready.

02:16:10.000 Yeah.

02:16:11.000 Yeah, let's not let those dogs slip.

02:16:15.000 Have you seen John McPhee?

02:16:16.000 Yeah, I have.

02:16:17.000 The mayor of Baghdad?

02:16:18.000 That'd be a good example of a guy.

02:16:20.000 That is a guy.

02:16:22.000 His body just comes from enforcement.

02:16:25.000 His traps, he just looks like a giant block.

02:16:27.000 Yeah, he's a...

02:16:28.000 He's a born enforcer.

02:16:30.000 Yeah.

02:16:30.000 He's not going to win a Nobel Prize for peace.

02:16:32.000 No.

02:16:32.000 You ever hear how Tim Kennedy talked about him?

02:16:34.000 Yeah.

02:16:35.000 You put him in a glass case and break in case of war?

02:16:37.000 Yeah.

02:16:38.000 Yeah.

02:16:38.000 Let's keep those guys on a...

02:16:40.000 Let's keep them over here on a leash. 1.00

02:16:42.000 Thank God that guy found jiu-jitsu, too.

02:16:44.000 And that's why...

02:16:44.000 Give him an outlet.

02:16:45.000 Yes.

02:16:45.000 And please understand the basis of our republic also is that we have civilian control of a military.

02:16:53.000 And that was a huge...

02:16:55.000 In the election between, I think, Madison and...

02:16:58.000 The idea was, was it Madison or was it Adams?

02:17:01.000 I can't remember.

02:17:02.000 But the election was, should we have a standing army?

02:17:06.000 Because traditionally, in a republic, if you had a standing army, a very charismatic general like Napoleon would take over the army and take over the country.

02:17:14.000 So that was a huge thing.

02:17:15.000 James Madison was a genius at figuring out how to limit that.

02:17:18.000 And he said, checks and balances, but you have to have civilian government in control of the military. 0.80

02:17:22.000 Because military people arrive at military solutions.

02:17:25.000 Fucking really important, man.

02:17:27.000 Really important.

02:17:28.000 Don't let guys like John McPhee, you need him in war, but God bless.

02:17:33.000 Well, you've had Eric Prince on your podcast, right?

02:17:36.000 Very smart guy.

02:17:37.000 Have you had him on?

02:17:38.000 No, I haven't.

02:17:38.000 Man, I really enjoyed having him on.

02:17:39.000 He was another guy who was talking about what to do with Africa, and I was like, Jesus.

02:17:44.000 Well, yeah.

02:17:46.000 He used the word viceroy, and he did it on purpose.

02:17:49.000 It's like, he...

02:17:52.000 But Eric comes from a position of how to solve problems.

02:17:56.000 When he was talking about Gaza, he said, we have the ability to frack.

02:18:02.000 What that means is we can drill sideways.

02:18:03.000 He said, you could have filled those tunnels with seawater instead of bombing the shit out of 70% of it and killing all those people.

02:18:09.000 You could have flooded those fuckers out.

02:18:11.000 Because you drill, and I don't know if this is true, I don't know anything about fracking, but he does.

02:18:17.000 And he said, you could have drilled fucking...

02:18:20.000 This way, take the Mediterranean, fill all those tunnels with seawater, and they would have had to come up, and you would have been just fine, and just position people when they come out of the water.

02:18:31.000 Why didn't they choose that?

02:18:34.000 A good question.

02:18:35.000 The same reason that in Afghanistan, they had an oil reserve there in Afghanistan that was well-capped by the Soviets.

02:18:43.000 Well-capped.

02:18:44.000 We could have taken that cap off, and that oil, they had enough oil.

02:18:48.000 To not only fuel the entire country, but the whole war effort right there for about nine cents a gallon.

02:18:54.000 But instead, we would get our oil from Saudi Arabia, et cetera, and have to ship it through Pakistan with all the roadblocks.

02:19:03.000 It was about 900 bucks a gallon or some crazy shit.

02:19:06.000 He was on my thing talking about it.

02:19:07.000 This video says he presented a plan to do it.

02:19:09.000 This is blocked by the Pentagon.

02:19:10.000 Let's hear this.

02:19:11.000 Eric's a smart dude.

02:19:15.000 Provided the Israelis a fully funded, donated ability to flood Gaza with water, with seawater, to flood the 300 miles of tunnels blocked by the Pentagon.

02:19:27.000 Our stuff isn't working that well in Ukraine.

02:19:29.000 The Navy has been ineffective in Yemen.

02:19:32.000 The U.S. has given very bad advice, very mixed advice in Gaza, preventing the Israelis from finishing it, or even preventing from ending that war in a clever way. 0.90

02:19:43.000 Yeah.

02:19:44.000 He's very smart.

02:19:45.000 And Eric is a problem solver.

02:19:47.000 You can say whatever you want about him, but I really enjoy...

02:19:50.000 He's a very smart guy.

02:19:52.000 And I know people that work with him and for him.

02:19:55.000 Well, if the shit goes down, you need people like that.

02:19:58.000 You need people that know how to solve problems.

02:20:00.000 Yeah.

02:20:01.000 But also, you know...

02:20:02.000 You can't have some overweight lesbian that says that if you're trapped in a building, you already made a mistake. 1.00

02:20:09.000 You already fucked up.

02:20:10.000 You need me to carry you.

02:20:11.000 Is that really what she said?

02:20:12.000 You want to hear it?

02:20:13.000 Yeah, I do.

02:20:15.000 Let me hear it.

02:20:16.000 Jamie, you can probably find it, right?

02:20:17.000 Just so you can outrage me and give me more energy.

02:20:20.000 I certainly have it.

02:20:20.000 I certainly have it in here.

02:20:22.000 I know I can find it if you just give me a moment.

02:20:30.000 It's just so ridiculous.

02:20:32.000 You hear her say it, and you're like, what are you even saying?

02:20:34.000 Here it is.

02:20:34.000 I found it.

02:20:39.000 It's not AI, right?

02:20:40.000 No.

02:20:41.000 No, no, no.

02:20:43.000 Here, Jamie.

02:20:44.000 Say hi, shit's getting crazy.

02:20:45.000 I've had to call you and ask you.

02:20:47.000 I know.

02:20:47.000 It's really hard to tell.

02:20:49.000 Headphones on again because you're going to have to hear it because it's so crazy.

02:20:57.000 It's so ridiculous.

02:21:02.000 House, your emergency, whether it's a medical call or a fire call.

02:21:05.000 That looks like you.

02:21:06.000 It gives that person a little bit more ease, knowing that somebody might understand their situation better.

02:21:11.000 Is she strong enough to do this?

02:21:13.000 Or, you couldn't carry my husband out of a fire?

02:21:16.000 Which my response is, he got himself in the wrong place if I have to carry him out of a fire.

02:21:20.000 Oh, wow.

02:21:22.000 Oh, that's helpful.

02:21:23.000 That is such a crazy way to look at things.

02:21:26.000 The correct answer is no, I cannot, but I can do other things.

02:21:30.000 Right.

02:21:31.000 Yeah, and we are going to need people that can carry people out of buildings because that is a part of the job.

02:21:35.000 Yeah.

02:21:36.000 It's not, he got himself in a bad situation.

02:21:38.000 Only if you want to save lives.

02:21:39.000 Yeah.

02:21:39.000 But again, this is social justice.

02:21:42.000 Social justice.

02:21:43.000 No, they care about representation.

02:21:45.000 Ideology over effectiveness.

02:21:47.000 Ideology over utility.

02:21:49.000 One of the things we saw during the 2024 election is massive chunks of California turned red that had never been red before.

02:21:55.000 And I suspect that that trend will continue and be even further and flip the top.

02:22:00.000 There's a limit to what you can do.

02:22:02.000 People, you know, they're not stupid Americans.

02:22:04.000 They reached a boring point.

02:22:06.000 Yeah.

02:22:06.000 I think we're going to get to a point where they wake up and you're going to have to have someone come in and clean up the mess.

02:22:12.000 I think the greatest...

02:22:13.000 Someone's going to have to be like socially liberal.

02:22:16.000 But fiscally conservative and pragmatic and realistic.

02:22:19.000 But they're gonna have to, like, be a person like you or I, who, like, supports gay rights, supports women's rights, supports equal rights, like, of course!

02:22:29.000 But also...

02:22:30.000 The thing is don't hire people that aren't qualified for a job because you don't want to hire white people. 0.92

02:22:35.000 That's crazy.

02:22:36.000 Hire everybody that's qualified and then make everybody else more qualified.

02:22:41.000 Make everybody rise to the same level.

02:22:44.000 That's why sports are great.

02:22:45.000 Right.

02:22:46.000 Figure out a way to fix all your fucking urban problems.

02:22:49.000 If you have $24 billion every year just for homelessness, imagine what that could have been done to clean up communities.

02:22:55.000 Exactly.

02:22:55.000 Because you haven't done a goddamn thing about homelessness and all those people should be held accountable.

02:23:00.000 Because again, they're framing the problem wrong.

02:23:02.000 If you talk to those people, if you talk to the people in charge of homelessness, a lot of times, I'm not saying, a lot of them are, look, a lot of them are good people and a lot of them are smart and they know a lot more about it than I do.

02:23:12.000 So I don't like being the guy who's talking about, but I'm just saying I like to be fair.

02:23:16.000 I want to be fair.

02:23:18.000 I think when you're framing it just as a housing problem and an inequality problem, it's a fucking lie.

02:23:23.000 It's a bunch of people profiting.

02:23:25.000 I mean, Coleon Noir, when he was on the podcast, explained that to me for the first time.

02:23:28.000 He said when he was in San Francisco, he said, what is going on?

02:23:31.000 Do they just need more money?

02:23:32.000 He's like, no, you don't understand.

02:23:33.000 It's the opposite.

02:23:34.000 It's like there's a business now in keeping homelessness there because there's people that are making a quarter.

02:23:39.000 A quarter million dollars a year and they're just working on the homeless problem and they're failing.

02:23:45.000 We got 31,000 new homeless people this year.

02:23:47.000 It's just failure.

02:23:49.000 And you know, California was always, including under Democratic governors, California was always known as a place that was run very, very well with really responsible civic employees for a long time under Reardon and that and stuff.

02:24:01.000 Yeah.

02:24:02.000 Well, it's collapsing under the weight of its own bullshit.

02:24:05.000 Oh, did I tell you?

02:24:06.000 So I had...

02:24:08.000 I was with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I asked him, what was it like to be governor?

02:24:12.000 And one of the things I got was how little power he was.

02:24:15.000 He was not able to get a lot of things done, but I'll give you a classic example.

02:24:18.000 He said, and I'm sorry if I'm paraphrasing, but he said something.

02:24:20.000 He said, there was a water issue.

02:24:23.000 And he said, these farmers over here are not using all that water.

02:24:26.000 So here's what you do.

02:24:28.000 Just take the water they're not using and give it to this part of the state over here.

02:24:34.000 Let's not be able to just pipe it over here.

02:24:37.000 And his senators said, Mr. Governor, I can't do that.

02:24:41.000 He said, why?

02:24:41.000 He goes, because now you're asking me to go and ask my constituents to give up some of their water.

02:24:48.000 They're going to use that against me in my next election.

02:24:51.000 So Schwarzenegger goes, so then what the fuck are we going to do?

02:24:55.000 And he goes, here's what you're going to do.

02:24:56.000 You're going to make a speech.

02:24:57.000 And you're going to say exactly what you just said to us.

02:25:00.000 And we're going to say yes.

02:25:02.000 But then we're not going to really let it happen.

02:25:05.000 And he goes, that's how this works.

02:25:07.000 He goes, how you're learning, baby!

02:25:09.000 That's fucking California state politics.

02:25:11.000 Well, that is where Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy come in.

02:25:15.000 Maybe.

02:25:15.000 The Department of Government Efficiency?

02:25:17.000 Maybe.

02:25:17.000 For sure.

02:25:18.000 Maybe.

02:25:19.000 I don't know what they're going to be able to get done.

02:25:20.000 Let me give you an example.

02:25:21.000 So, Pete Hegseth.

02:25:24.000 Seems like a great guy.

02:25:25.000 I'm a fan.

02:25:26.000 I don't know much about him, but I like, that kind of seems like the kind of guy I'd like to hang out and have a beer with.

02:25:29.000 I'm sure he's very smart.

02:25:30.000 Princeton, I think.

02:25:31.000 Harvard.

02:25:32.000 Like, Bronze Star.

02:25:34.000 Row four books.

02:25:35.000 Awesome.

02:25:37.000 I'm sure he'll be a very effective Secretary of Defense.

02:25:40.000 However, that job, this DOD, I think has a million point one employees and a budget of $750 billion, maybe $850 billion.

02:25:53.000 Now, Just, that is a massive...

02:25:56.000 Massive company, essentially.

02:25:58.000 And that requires management on a different level.

02:26:02.000 That skill set is very specific and very, very difficult and very strange.

02:26:07.000 It doesn't mean that because you are a great soldier, you can necessarily do that.

02:26:11.000 And I'm saying, I'm just using it as an example.

02:26:13.000 So we have to get down to brass tacks and take politics out of this and get real fucking practical with all this stuff.

02:26:19.000 I think with Elon Musk and with Vivek Ramoswamy, the U.S. government is a very complicated organization.

02:26:29.000 Who keeps geese out of the airfields?

02:26:37.000 We have falcons on hand at most airports.

02:26:40.000 Peregrine falcons.

02:26:41.000 You know who does?

02:26:42.000 The Department of Agriculture.

02:26:43.000 You know why?

02:26:44.000 Because they're territorial birds.

02:26:46.000 They keep all the other birds out of the airfield.

02:26:47.000 You know how to do that?

02:26:48.000 Because I don't.

02:26:49.000 Who gets sheep to graze at a higher altitude because of global warming and they don't want to graze when it's really hot?

02:26:55.000 I don't know, but we have to do that if you want mutton and fucking wool.

02:26:58.000 And there are scientists that have to figure that out.

02:27:00.000 They're not political.

02:27:01.000 There's a thousand things.

02:27:02.000 Who manages all that nuclear waste in the ground and makes sure it doesn't get into the Columbia River?

02:27:07.000 And the waterways.

02:27:08.000 Who manages our electric grid?

02:27:10.000 This is all...

02:27:11.000 Who keeps track, please, I'd like to know, of all the spent uranium rods, sir, that are used in all our diagnostic machines?

02:27:18.000 Because if you detonate one of those motherfuckers over the Super Bowl, you have to clear out that city for 20 years.

02:27:24.000 The Department of Energy is the answer.

02:27:26.000 That's Buttigieg.

02:27:27.000 He's doing a great job.

02:27:30.000 That's neat.

02:27:31.000 No.

02:27:32.000 Transportation.

02:27:33.000 It was the guy who stole women's clothes.

02:27:36.000 Yeah, he's the nuclear secretary.

02:27:37.000 Yeah, he was responsible for that.

02:27:38.000 That guy seems like fucking well put together.

02:27:41.000 That's not a guy, that's a they, you piece of shit. 1.00

02:27:42.000 Don't misgender that thief.

02:27:43.000 That's the most important thing, that fucking guy.

02:27:45.000 Don't misgender that thief.

02:27:46.000 Jesus Christ.

02:27:47.000 You understand what I'm saying?

02:27:48.000 Yes.

02:27:48.000 Oh, it's beyond complicated.

02:27:51.000 Yeah.

02:27:51.000 Unbelievably complicated.

02:27:53.000 And so Michael Lewis wrote a book called The Fifth Risk about this.

02:27:56.000 A good book.

02:27:57.000 Short.

02:27:57.000 Very worth reading.

02:27:58.000 Very fucking worth reading.

02:27:59.000 I walk around talking about being a libertarian.

02:28:01.000 As usual, I don't really know what government does.

02:28:04.000 I was so kind of humbled by the book because I was like, there's a lot of shit I rely on.

02:28:09.000 The people who are needy, people who are very elderly, people who are disabled, who live in places where they can't get food, our food banks feed those people.

02:28:16.000 Meals on Wheels is a really big thing.

02:28:18.000 So there's a lot of shit that the government does, and we feed a lot of people that couldn't feed themselves otherwise.

02:28:24.000 So we have to be careful about not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, and once again, take politics out of it.

02:28:29.000 Let's approach everything like it's a problem, and stay agnostic about this shit.

02:28:33.000 And sometimes you might have to be a little left, sometimes you might have to be a little right.

02:28:37.000 Respond to the fucking evidence.

02:28:40.000 Be humble about the fact that every time you step into a problem, you may not know anything.

02:28:45.000 And that's what I try to do.

02:28:46.000 Brian Callen for governor.

02:28:47.000 Fucking, why didn't you write, I hope you guys wrote that shit down.

02:28:49.000 Where's my camera?

02:28:50.000 You don't need to write it down, bro.

02:28:51.000 You just said it from the heart.

02:28:52.000 Fuck yeah, dude.

02:28:53.000 Yeah, bro.

02:28:54.000 Fucking hilarious.

02:28:55.000 Yeah, why don't you be a governor?

02:28:56.000 My buddy, my buddy, last time I did my podcast, my buddy AG goes like this.

02:28:59.000 He goes, from Toehold, he goes, hey dude, love your Rogan podcast.

02:29:03.000 Next time you're on the biggest podcast in the world, make sure you talk about the fucking Bible some more. 0.98

02:29:09.000 Hey, man, it's interesting.

02:29:11.000 Yeah, I'm into that.

02:29:12.000 I had that Wesley Huff guy on.

02:29:14.000 You know who he is?

02:29:14.000 Yeah, he was really interesting.

02:29:16.000 And one of the most fascinating things that I can't stop thinking about is how the book of Isaiah from the Dead Sea Scrolls was verbatim the same as the book of Isaiah that they found a thousand years later.

02:29:29.000 Wow.

02:29:29.000 A thousand years.

02:29:31.000 Wow.

02:29:31.000 And it was exact, word for word.

02:29:34.000 Yeah.

02:29:35.000 Like, that's incredible.

02:29:36.000 It's not only incredible, but I always think the fact that the Bible endures is interesting.

02:29:41.000 It's very interesting.

02:29:42.000 It endures.

02:29:43.000 I always go back to, like, what were they trying to do?

02:29:46.000 What was it really all about?

02:29:48.000 Where did it start?

02:29:49.000 I have an opinion.

02:29:50.000 Tell me.

02:29:50.000 I think that if you read the Old Testament, which I've done three times, I would argue that—so what's a theme of a—any author writes a book, the theme is always the author's argument for how one should behave in the world, okay?

02:30:07.000 It's a good way of looking at it.

02:30:09.000 And I think that the central theme of the Bible, of the Old Testament, certainly is don't worship false gods.

02:30:17.000 So what's that mean?

02:30:18.000 If you try to worship false gods, if you put too much emphasis on money— On status, on power, whatever it is, on ideology.

02:30:26.000 You will inevitably turn yourself into a circle.

02:30:31.000 You'll be a snake eating its own tail.

02:30:32.000 For whatever reason, human beings have a very hard time inventing and creating their own gods.

02:30:39.000 And we always do it.

02:30:41.000 The value of having a transcendent truth of something that you can't measure.

02:30:48.000 It's very interesting that you can't measure it.

02:30:50.000 So why do the Muslims, why do the Orthodox Jews not have any kind of picture of God?

02:30:56.000 It's because you're putting a measurement around God.

02:30:58.000 You're trying to define God, and that's not for you to do.

02:31:00.000 And there's something very valuable about not being able to do that, because that transcendent truth is not for you to understand necessarily.

02:31:08.000 It is for you to reach for.

02:31:09.000 It is for you to be reverent of.

02:31:11.000 It's for you to understand that something is watching you, that you will never get away with anything.

02:31:15.000 And I'll quote Jordan Peterson.

02:31:17.000 I love it.

02:31:17.000 I've always thought this.

02:31:18.000 I think you agree with this.

02:31:19.000 You don't get away with anything.

02:31:21.000 You'll pay in full for everything you've done and haven't done.

02:31:24.000 It's a great way of looking at things.

02:31:25.000 Maybe it's wrong, but it's a good way to at least keep that in mind.

02:31:29.000 I think you pay psychologically no matter what.

02:31:31.000 100% when you're not telling the truth.

02:31:34.000 Right.

02:31:34.000 And the people that don't.

02:31:36.000 Those are the people that are the most delusional and the most disconnected because they put blinders on as to who they are and what they've done.

02:31:45.000 I mean, you see this when people get caught for horrible crimes, like Bernie Madoff type people.

02:31:50.000 Like, they've deluded themselves to a point where they don't look at—they're complete sociopaths, which is a weird— The path that the mind can go into, where you're never wrong, and it's always about you.

02:32:04.000 Well, also, people talk about God.

02:32:07.000 I kind of like replacing it with truth.

02:32:09.000 So just try to stay close to the truth, man.

02:32:12.000 It's hard.

02:32:13.000 Sometimes the truth is really fucking inconvenient.

02:32:15.000 It might throw your whole life up in the air.

02:32:19.000 You might have to burn off, but I think it's inevitable.

02:32:23.000 And part of, like, if you see great stories, you know, what's the definition of a tragedy?

02:32:28.000 It's the hero or the protagonist doesn't learn from his mistakes and holds on.

02:32:35.000 Moby Dick is a tragedy because Ahab will not give up on this fucking white whale that took his leg.

02:32:41.000 And if you read the book, he just gets sucked in.

02:32:43.000 You'd think it'd be some dramatic thing.

02:32:45.000 In the book, Ahab gets caught by the whale and he just dies this quick.

02:32:52.000 It's soundless.

02:32:52.000 You just get sucked in.

02:32:53.000 Like, wait, dude, he's been in the book the whole time.

02:32:55.000 What the fuck happened?

02:32:56.000 That's how it happens, bro.

02:32:57.000 You got sucked down and the universe doesn't give a fuck.

02:33:00.000 You're not important.

02:33:01.000 But you spent all that time trying to get vengeance on a white whale and that thing was like, he was just trying to run away.

02:33:08.000 You get sucked in and you drown.

02:33:10.000 It's a great way of looking at life.

02:33:12.000 And as I get older, the one thing I would have told myself when I was younger...

02:33:16.000 One thing I would have told myself is I would have said, hey, listen.

02:33:19.000 Listen, fuckface. 1.00

02:33:20.000 You better tell the truth all the way across the board.

02:33:23.000 All the way across.

02:33:24.000 Let me tell you something.

02:33:25.000 Yeah.

02:33:25.000 You went and listened.

02:33:30.000 You're so fucking right.

02:33:31.000 You went and listened.

02:33:32.000 Because you know what I always said to myself?

02:33:33.000 I'm one of God's favorites.

02:33:35.000 These things don't apply to me.

02:33:36.000 I'm Peter Pan.

02:33:37.000 Well, you're also charming.

02:33:38.000 You know?

02:33:39.000 Charming is a problem.

02:33:40.000 Got away with a lot.

02:33:41.000 Yeah.

02:33:42.000 Charm and...

02:33:43.000 You were fun to be around.

02:33:45.000 People liked you.

02:33:45.000 You were fun.

02:33:46.000 A lot of friends.

02:33:47.000 Yeah, a lot of friends.

02:33:48.000 Found my way through.

02:33:49.000 And also, we liked that you were ridiculous.

02:33:51.000 Of course.

02:33:51.000 We liked that you were living your life completely chaotic.

02:33:53.000 Reckless.

02:33:54.000 Yeah.

02:33:55.000 But it's also why you're funny.

02:33:57.000 That's the balancing act.

02:33:58.000 It is, right?

02:33:59.000 As a comic, as a human.

02:34:00.000 Yeah, I didn't want to be too...

02:34:01.000 I didn't want to be...

02:34:02.000 The people I knew who got real famous actors, they were so buttoned down.

02:34:06.000 They were so fucking afraid of everything.

02:34:08.000 And I was like, hey, bro, I think sometimes you got to be willing to throw the whole fucking chessboard in the air.

02:34:13.000 You know, it's like my favorite.

02:34:14.000 If you want to be funny.

02:34:15.000 Yeah.

02:34:16.000 If you become too calculated, man, I just think you outthink yourself.

02:34:22.000 You lose the magic.

02:34:26.000 Part of the magic of being a comedian is these sparks of ridiculousness that have to pop into your head.

02:34:32.000 So you have to be able to entertain that part of your mind.

02:34:36.000 I used to think when I was young that I didn't want to meditate because I didn't want to become enlightened because it would fuck up my comedy.

02:34:42.000 It's true!

02:34:43.000 Well, I thought that way because I realized that there was a completely different mindset between me as a martial arts competitor and me as a comedian where I didn't need anybody's approval before.

02:34:53.000 Like, I liked that they didn't like me.

02:34:55.000 I used to love going to places and fucking up the local hero.

02:34:58.000 I used to enjoy it.

02:34:59.000 Yeah.

02:34:59.000 I used to get a kick out of it all because I didn't have anybody in my corner.

02:35:02.000 I didn't have anybody cheering for me.

02:35:03.000 Nobody came to see me fight.

02:35:05.000 I'll go to your place and fuck you up. 1.00

02:35:07.000 I liked it.

02:35:08.000 I liked hearing people cheer.

02:35:11.000 There was one...

02:35:13.000 There was a fight that I had when I was 19, and I fought in Anaheim at the Nationals.

02:35:18.000 And there was this guy who was the state champion.

02:35:20.000 I think he was from Illinois.

02:35:21.000 And I hit him with a wheel kick that was probably the hardest I've ever hit anybody in my life.

02:35:27.000 Kill somebody like that.

02:35:27.000 Well, he went unconscious, and he never woke up.

02:35:30.000 They took him to the hospital.

02:35:31.000 They took him out on a stretcher.

02:35:33.000 It scared the shit out of me.

02:35:34.000 Because I remember thinking that easily could have been me.

02:35:38.000 That easily could have been me.

02:35:39.000 But what I do remember was all these people were cheering him.

02:35:42.000 Let's go, Johnny.

02:35:43.000 Come on, Johnny.

02:35:44.000 Fuck him up, Johnny.

02:35:45.000 All these people with Johnny.

02:35:46.000 Whack! 1.00

02:35:47.000 Silence.

02:35:50.000 Faceplant and then snoring.

02:35:52.000 Jesus Christ.

02:35:53.000 And then I remember the satisfaction of that.

02:35:56.000 Like, shut the fuck up. 0.96

02:35:57.000 And it feels like nothing on your foot.

02:35:59.000 Well, it hurt.

02:36:00.000 I was limping for days.

02:36:02.000 Really?

02:36:02.000 Oh, yeah.

02:36:02.000 Did you hit him with your heel?

02:36:03.000 I hit him with my heel in his cheekbone. 0.96

02:36:06.000 Oh, Christ.

02:36:07.000 On his cheekbone.

02:36:08.000 Yeah.

02:36:09.000 And I was fast.

02:36:09.000 That'll hurt.

02:36:10.000 I was fast.

02:36:12.000 Yeah, still are.

02:36:13.000 But back then when I was 19, I was fast.

02:36:16.000 So it happened in a breeze, a quick moment.

02:36:19.000 And then I remember thinking afterwards, when is he getting up?

02:36:23.000 He's not getting up.

02:36:24.000 He didn't get up.

02:36:25.000 And then they carried him away in a stretcher and they took him to the hospital.

02:36:28.000 And I never felt the same way about fighting again after that.

02:36:31.000 Yeah, because that could have been you.

02:36:32.000 Yeah.

02:36:33.000 I also thought about like...

02:36:36.000 If that was me, would I even be the same person again after that?

02:36:40.000 Because I had a friend who fought in this tournament.

02:36:42.000 He fought this guy, Jersey Long, who was this Canadian national champion.

02:36:45.000 And he got axe kicked in the head hard.

02:36:48.000 And he went unconscious and real bad.

02:36:51.000 And he was never the same guy again.

02:36:53.000 He was timid after that.

02:36:54.000 He never fought well.

02:36:55.000 He didn't show up for training a lot.

02:36:58.000 And he just seemed depressed.

02:37:00.000 That's why I think fighters who have longevity are very special.

02:37:06.000 Box or Taekwondo especially.

02:37:07.000 People don't realize that people would get knocked out all the time in our studio.

02:37:11.000 But also boxing.

02:37:13.000 When you get hit hard and you have trouble chewing for like two weeks or you get hit, like when I was sparring a lot.

02:37:20.000 I would get hit, man, and I would get fucking gun shy.

02:37:24.000 And my trainer, Wayne McCulloch, would go, you're sparring today.

02:37:27.000 And it was everything I could do not to turn my car around.

02:37:30.000 It would almost turn me into a liar.

02:37:31.000 I was like, I'm in the hospital.

02:37:36.000 My car just got hit by a truck.

02:37:37.000 Anything.

02:37:38.000 But you'd get there and you'd have your fucking...

02:37:42.000 I would wear a bar because I'm a bitch and a mouthpiece. 1.00

02:37:45.000 And I was still always nervous.

02:37:47.000 And I was fighting good guys.

02:37:48.000 Fighting guys like me.

02:37:49.000 Fucking weekend warriors.

02:37:50.000 It doesn't matter.

02:37:51.000 The person trying to hit you in the face is scary.

02:37:53.000 You know what I think?

02:37:54.000 You know what I think meditation does?

02:37:56.000 I think the point is, and I don't meditate a lot, is to get out of the way.

02:38:01.000 To get out of the way.

02:38:02.000 That's a lot of life.

02:38:03.000 Yeah, you should disappear.

02:38:05.000 Yeah.

02:38:06.000 I heard a sports psychologist say that.

02:38:07.000 He teaches baseball players.

02:38:09.000 He would teach them.

02:38:09.000 He would do this mantra, which was one, two, get out of the way.

02:38:13.000 So when you're trying to hit a ball because it's really precise and you can't be overthinking, you've got to just be totally reactive, right?

02:38:20.000 Your eye and your hands have to be married. 0.70

02:38:24.000 And motherfuckers are throwing 100 mile an hour balls and shit like that. 1.00

02:38:28.000 And you ever done that?

02:38:30.000 You ever stood at a plate and had guys throw 100 miles an hour?

02:38:33.000 No.

02:38:33.000 I have.

02:38:34.000 I have.

02:38:35.000 Insane.

02:38:35.000 It's fucking terrifying.

02:38:36.000 The idea of hitting that thing.

02:38:38.000 Dude, it's terrifying.

02:38:40.000 Yeah.

02:38:40.000 But I wanted to try it and I wanted to see what it was like.

02:38:43.000 And when your job depends on it, when everything rides on it, you better get out of your own way.

02:38:50.000 And guys get the yips.

02:38:51.000 That's why guys will go on hitting streaks and then they'll go on long, dry spells because they get in their own way.

02:38:57.000 But I think part of all of that meditation...

02:39:01.000 Jamie, pull up the fucking Indian army. 0.94

02:39:04.000 Did you see this?

02:39:05.000 They were hiking.

02:39:06.000 No.

02:39:07.000 In the Himalayas.

02:39:08.000 And they came across a bodhisattva or a monk who was meditating in the snow and it was 40 below.

02:39:17.000 This is recently?

02:39:18.000 Yes, sir.

02:39:19.000 You might want to bring this up so it can just...

02:39:21.000 You know what Customato used to tell Mike Tyson?

02:39:23.000 You don't exist.

02:39:25.000 Just the task.

02:39:26.000 The task exists.

02:39:28.000 I love that.

02:39:29.000 Yeah, you don't exist.

02:39:30.000 He's become...

02:39:31.000 A bit of a monk.

02:39:33.000 Yeah.

02:39:34.000 So they found this guy?

02:39:35.000 That's one guy.

02:39:36.000 Oh, bro, this is AI. Yeah.

02:39:38.000 That's in a green screen.

02:39:39.000 This is two or three years old.

02:39:40.000 Shut up. 0.95

02:39:41.000 It's fake.

02:39:42.000 Yeah, that's bad.

02:39:43.000 Look at that dude.

02:39:44.000 I bet that dude's boring as fuck to talk to.

02:39:47.000 Look at him sitting there with a dog.

02:39:48.000 He's a guy meditating covered in snow.

02:39:50.000 And it's fucking unbelievable.

02:39:53.000 Whoa.

02:39:54.000 That might be true, Bubba.

02:39:55.000 That might be true.

02:39:56.000 He looks legit.

02:39:57.000 Yeah, they find these guys out there.

02:39:59.000 Yeah, he looks legit.

02:40:00.000 They find these guys.

02:40:02.000 Yeah.

02:40:03.000 I like to see him a couple hours later.

02:40:04.000 There's a guy covered in snow and he's not moving.

02:40:06.000 And the Indian Army came across.

02:40:08.000 Yeah, it looks like he's having fun.

02:40:08.000 What's the temperature like?

02:40:09.000 Dogs having fun too, though.

02:40:11.000 Yeah, but that's...

02:40:11.000 We don't think that dog's amazing.

02:40:13.000 That's in Utah.

02:40:13.000 We're like, that dog's amazing.

02:40:15.000 You think that's in Utah?

02:40:16.000 I don't know.

02:40:16.000 Come on, man.

02:40:17.000 That's real.

02:40:18.000 That's some guy on a lot of drugs.

02:40:19.000 That guy is...

02:40:19.000 No, man.

02:40:20.000 He did the DMT breathing.

02:40:22.000 Well, you know those dudes in...

02:40:23.000 You ever read Shantaram?

02:40:25.000 You know those guys who take a vow to never sit down?

02:40:27.000 They stand up.

02:40:28.000 Oh, God.

02:40:28.000 You ever seen their legs in India?

02:40:29.000 No.

02:40:30.000 Oh, bro.

02:40:30.000 Their knees must be destroyed.

02:40:32.000 They're the standing yogis.

02:40:33.000 How bad are their knees?

02:40:34.000 No, no.

02:40:35.000 They get varicose veins.

02:40:36.000 Their bodies...

02:40:36.000 Their feet start to melt.

02:40:38.000 What?

02:40:38.000 But they smoke copious amounts of weed.

02:40:41.000 I mean, they're always high.

02:40:43.000 Constantly.

02:40:44.000 Yeah.

02:40:45.000 But they take a vow never to ever, ever sit.

02:40:48.000 They are standing their whole life.

02:40:50.000 So they sleep standing up in slings.

02:40:52.000 Oh, that's ridiculous.

02:40:53.000 Yeah.

02:40:54.000 What do their legs look like?

02:40:56.000 You can look that up.

02:40:59.000 Just to fuck you up some more.

02:41:01.000 Standing yoga is just showing me all sorts of positions for yoga.

02:41:05.000 How would you describe it as?

02:41:07.000 Standing yogis?

02:41:08.000 Yeah, they're like the famous standing yogis or something they're called.

02:41:11.000 Where from, maybe?

02:41:12.000 India.

02:41:13.000 India, I think in Calcutta.

02:41:16.000 Ugh.

02:41:17.000 Yeah, sometimes the ferry's only a nickel.

02:41:20.000 You know?

02:41:21.000 You don't have to stand all day, you fucking idiot.

02:41:23.000 Have a seat, smoke a cigar.

02:41:25.000 Exactly, please.

02:41:25.000 Relax a little bit.

02:41:26.000 At the end of the day, they're trying to get laid.

02:41:28.000 I don't know what they're trying to do.

02:41:30.000 They're definitely not trying to get laid, right?

02:41:32.000 Because they don't do it.

02:41:33.000 I think a lot of people are dealing with trauma.

02:41:35.000 I think a lot of times...

02:41:36.000 You're going to either kill yourself or do something crazy, right?

02:41:40.000 Sometimes.

02:41:41.000 You're trying to find something.

02:41:41.000 I don't think you become a monk or a shaman.

02:41:45.000 Joseph Campbell did a whole thing.

02:41:47.000 Every shaman he studied, he was an expert at comparing Western and Eastern traditions.

02:41:52.000 And he said every shaman ever had gone through some kind of a mental breakdown, usually in their teens.

02:42:00.000 And they came out of it because they had a society, a village that helped them through it.

02:42:04.000 That sort of like...

02:42:05.000 They understood that it was a schizophrenic break, but they were going through something, and there was something on the other side of that.

02:42:13.000 So they wouldn't medicate them.

02:42:14.000 Standing babas.

02:42:16.000 What is it?

02:42:16.000 Standing what?

02:42:17.000 Standing babas.

02:42:18.000 Yeah.

02:42:19.000 Look at the guy's foot. 0.68

02:42:20.000 Go back to that other image that you had before.

02:42:22.000 It's not a good...

02:42:23.000 What did you have before?

02:42:24.000 No, that's a woman who's been bound. 1.00

02:42:25.000 Oh, that's different.

02:42:26.000 Oh, that's Chinese ladies. 1.00

02:42:27.000 Oh, my gosh.

02:42:28.000 That is the most disgusting thing.

02:42:30.000 The Chinese foot binding?

02:42:31.000 Like, Jesus Christ.

02:42:32.000 I saw that with my own eyes in 1984 in China.

02:42:35.000 So this is how this guy stands.

02:42:38.000 Just propped up.

02:42:40.000 All the time.

02:42:41.000 That dude looks like he has one leg.

02:42:43.000 He left his arm in the air, too.

02:42:45.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:42:46.000 Look at his arm.

02:42:47.000 Forever.

02:42:48.000 He keeps his arm up.

02:42:49.000 It's 1973. Oh, my God.

02:42:51.000 He hasn't brought it down since 1973. He sees it as a devotion to Lord Shiva.

02:42:55.000 Maybe Lord Shiva, like, hey, hey, hey, hey, wipe your ass. 0.93

02:42:59.000 Wipe your ass.

02:43:00.000 You can't use the same arm to feed yourself and wipe your ass.

02:43:04.000 You're going to have to wipe your ass.

02:43:05.000 That's crazy.

02:43:06.000 Look at his arm.

02:43:08.000 I bet I could arm wrestle the shit out of that, dude.

02:43:10.000 I bet everything I have.

02:43:11.000 But that's not the point, man.

02:43:12.000 Everything I have, dude.

02:43:13.000 Let's go.

02:43:14.000 You know who's into arm wrestling now?

02:43:15.000 Brian Shaw.

02:43:16.000 Oh, God.

02:43:17.000 Yeah.

02:43:17.000 That's a problem.

02:43:18.000 He's been training hard for it.

02:43:19.000 That's a real problem.

02:43:20.000 Yeah.

02:43:20.000 Look at that dude.

02:43:21.000 Just high out of his mind.

02:43:23.000 I tell you, Brian took a...

02:43:24.000 With fucking white power.

02:43:28.000 What does he do?

02:43:30.000 What is that?

02:43:31.000 Forever.

02:43:32.000 So that's black power. 0.99

02:43:33.000 Black power. 0.99

02:43:33.000 Which one? 0.99

02:43:34.000 White power? 0.99

02:43:35.000 The hand?

02:43:35.000 It's all about the hand movement.

02:43:36.000 If you extend your fingers, it's racist.

02:43:38.000 So white power is just basically a bitch slap.

02:43:39.000 Pro-black, pro-white. 0.89

02:43:41.000 Black power will fuck you up. 1.00

02:43:42.000 Correct.

02:43:43.000 White power is just... 1.00

02:43:44.000 Yeah.

02:43:44.000 Yeah, that's not...

02:43:45.000 And Hitler did this. 0.88

02:43:48.000 Yeah.

02:43:48.000 Everybody else did this, he did this.

02:43:49.000 It's funny, like when CNN was attacking me, one of the photos that they would use all the time was me at the UFC waving to the crowd like this.

02:43:56.000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to...

02:43:58.000 Fuck you guys.

02:43:58.000 They would use me standing like this.

02:44:01.000 This one is...

02:44:03.000 That Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni thing?

02:44:06.000 Yeah.

02:44:06.000 When you see what the New York Times did to Baldoni, where they took every one of those things out of context, and Baldoni was like, really?

02:44:12.000 How about I see you for $250 million?

02:44:14.000 And he's got fucking 90 pages of receipts.

02:44:17.000 It's going to be very interesting.

02:44:19.000 Yeah, very interesting.

02:44:20.000 It's interesting how the mainstream media just continues to go down this road of discrediting themselves.

02:44:27.000 Yeah, I don't understand it.

02:44:29.000 Well, it's...

02:44:30.000 The rise of independent journalism because there are the Michael Schellenbergers, the Matt Taibis.

02:44:35.000 Barry Weiss.

02:44:36.000 These people in the world.

02:44:37.000 Glenn Greenwald.

02:44:38.000 There's these people that you can trust that are going to tell you the fucking truth no matter what.

02:44:41.000 Yeah, that's what I like about the marketplace.

02:44:42.000 The marketplace will find people that you can rely on.

02:44:46.000 Yes.

02:44:46.000 As long as there's freedom of speech.

02:44:49.000 As long as you don't have censorship.

02:44:51.000 That's Elon Musk.

02:44:52.000 Yeah, that's Elon Musk.

02:44:54.000 I feel like YouTube and now Facebook, they're all coming around.

02:44:57.000 Well, that was one of the things that Zuckerberg came on yesterday to talk about.

02:45:01.000 They've changed their content policy.

02:45:02.000 They no longer have fact checkers, and now they're going to rely on community notes.

02:45:06.000 What is that?

02:45:06.000 I don't understand that.

02:45:07.000 They used to have fact checkers.

02:45:09.000 Yeah.

02:45:09.000 Like someone would say something, and someone would say, that's not true.

02:45:11.000 The vaccine's nothing but amazing.

02:45:13.000 Impossible, yeah.

02:45:13.000 And they'll take off.

02:45:15.000 Posts.

02:45:16.000 So what are community notes?

02:45:17.000 Community notes is what X uses.

02:45:19.000 So, like, say if you post something, it's not true, the community notes underneath it, you could write community notes.

02:45:25.000 Oh, okay.

02:45:25.000 So the community notes would be, everybody would post into it, this is not true, and it would come to a consensus.

02:45:30.000 The facts state that this and that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

02:45:33.000 It's amazing.

02:45:34.000 It's the best way to do it.

02:45:35.000 Because eventually the truth comes out.

02:45:37.000 The truth comes out.

02:45:39.000 Brian Callen, I love you to death.

02:45:40.000 Love you too, buddy.

02:45:41.000 You're the fucking man.

02:45:42.000 I'm so happy that you're filming at the club.

02:45:45.000 It's going to be fucking awesome.

02:45:46.000 Thank you.

02:45:46.000 Are you filming tomorrow night?

02:45:47.000 Tomorrow night.

02:45:48.000 Tonight I'm doing two shows just to warm up.

02:45:50.000 Theo Vaughn stopping by, which I'm excited about.

02:45:52.000 So tomorrow night, 7 and 10?

02:45:53.000 7 and 10 tomorrow night.

02:45:54.000 Beautiful.

02:45:55.000 Sold out already, all shows.

02:45:56.000 Of course.

02:45:57.000 Which is exciting.

02:45:57.000 Of course.

02:45:58.000 Yeah.

02:45:58.000 So exciting.

02:45:59.000 I'm pumped.

02:45:59.000 I'm pumped for people to see your set, too.

02:46:01.000 Thank you, Bill.

02:46:01.000 It's going to be fucking powerful.

02:46:02.000 I'm very proud of it.

02:46:03.000 I'm proud of it.

02:46:03.000 I love you, man.

02:46:04.000 Thank you very much for doing this.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 15, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2257 - Bryan Callen

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript