The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2276 - Felipe Esparza

00:00:00.000 the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day good to see you my friend it It's been too long.

00:00:14.000 What's up, boo?

00:00:15.000 Good to see you, too.

00:00:16.000 When was the last time I saw you, brother?

00:00:17.000 It was like five years ago or something.

00:00:19.000 Five years ago?

00:00:20.000 And I did the show here when you were in L.A.? Yeah.

00:00:24.000 At the warehouse?

00:00:25.000 Damn.

00:00:26.000 That's what I miss most about the store.

00:00:30.000 Traveling dudes.

00:00:32.000 We'd meet up.

00:00:33.000 We'd meet up at the home base.

00:00:35.000 Yes.

00:00:37.000 And when I was a young comic, I would see older comics that I would see on television.

00:00:42.000 They would just come hang out at that bar or the patio.

00:00:45.000 Just get a refresh.

00:00:46.000 Yeah, and you pass by and you say, oh, that's...

00:00:49.000 Arsenio Hall.

00:00:50.000 That's Elaine Boosler.

00:00:52.000 OG right there.

00:00:53.000 You're like, what?

00:00:55.000 Right.

00:00:56.000 I used to see her at Dodger Stadium when I worked at Dodger Stadium. 0.94

00:00:59.000 And I would ask her for advice.

00:01:01.000 And she was just, you know, like, every comic back then, just keep writing.

00:01:05.000 She was a funny comic, man.

00:01:07.000 She was a funny comic. 0.66

00:01:09.000 Who's that lady that was on Curb Your Enthusiasm? 1.00

00:01:12.000 She's very funny, too.

00:01:14.000 Old school comic.

00:01:15.000 God damn it.

00:01:17.000 I'm very embarrassed that I forgot her name.

00:01:19.000 She hasn't done comedy in a long time.

00:01:21.000 Look that up.

00:01:22.000 Suzy?

00:01:22.000 Yes, Suzy Essman.

00:01:24.000 Oh, Suzy Essman, their stand-up?

00:01:25.000 Yes.

00:01:25.000 Oh, she was great.

00:01:26.000 She was really funny.

00:01:27.000 I middled for her once.

00:01:29.000 In, like, fucking 1989 or some shit.

00:01:35.000 Way back in the day, my friend.

00:01:36.000 Will you metaphor that lady? 0.98

00:01:38.000 Wow.

00:01:38.000 Yeah.

00:01:39.000 Yeah.

00:01:40.000 Someplace on Long Island.

00:01:41.000 It might have been, like, Governor's or something like that.

00:01:43.000 I do not remember, but I remember she was very nice.

00:01:46.000 She was very funny, very nice, very encouraging.

00:01:50.000 Which is the best, man.

00:01:51.000 When you get to work with someone that you see on television and you're just starting out and they're nice to you, that's so valuable.

00:01:57.000 I can't believe it.

00:01:58.000 There she is.

00:02:00.000 There she is.

00:02:01.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:02:02.000 She looked like Elaine from Seinfeld. 0.90

00:02:04.000 Yeah, similar.

00:02:06.000 But that's the haircut back then, huh?

00:02:09.000 Yeah.

00:02:10.000 Well, they all had crazy hair.

00:02:11.000 Everybody lost their mind in the 80s.

00:02:13.000 Ally Lieberman?

00:02:14.000 Yeah, they all lost their mind back then.

00:02:17.000 Because, like, from the 70s to the 80s, nobody knew how to dress.

00:02:20.000 They did crazy shit with their hair.

00:02:22.000 She's going over her stead.

00:02:25.000 Yeah, they would all tease their hair out.

00:02:26.000 It was crazy.

00:02:27.000 There was, like, a big hair thing.

00:02:29.000 I think it was when people started doing cocaine.

00:02:32.000 That's what I think.

00:02:33.000 I think it was the 80s was Miami Vice and cocaine.

00:02:36.000 Everybody lost their mind.

00:02:37.000 They lost their fashion sense.

00:02:39.000 People started to wear wacky clothes.

00:02:42.000 Cars started looking like shit.

00:02:44.000 Yeah, man.

00:02:44.000 I love the Saab.

00:02:47.000 Pinto.

00:02:47.000 Bro, cars just started looking like shit.

00:02:50.000 I mean, if you want an objective analysis of what happens to a society when they remove marijuana and mushrooms and then they bring in cocaine, it's like, hey, you know what?

00:03:01.000 It's called Ford Fiesta!

00:03:03.000 Yeah.

00:03:04.000 Because we were a fiesta yesterday.

00:03:06.000 But cocaine brought a Sam Kinison, too, though.

00:03:09.000 You have to realize, cocaine's done some good.

00:03:12.000 You think you did a lot, a lot, a lot?

00:03:14.000 No, no.

00:03:15.000 I think it's terrible for everybody who does it.

00:03:17.000 But I do think that there's moments of inspired creativity from all kinds of substances, especially that rock and roll cocaine that they used to get, where it was just real, pure cocaine.

00:03:30.000 It wasn't stepped on.

00:03:31.000 It didn't have amphetamines and fentanyl in it, all kinds of other shit.

00:03:34.000 Good shit.

00:03:35.000 None of the stuff you buy, like, and grab and wrap with Iowa.

00:03:38.000 And I should say this as a person who's never tried cocaine.

00:03:40.000 Never?

00:03:40.000 Never.

00:03:41.000 Never tried cocaine.

00:03:41.000 Lying.

00:03:42.000 No, I would not lie.

00:03:43.000 Never?

00:03:44.000 No, never.

00:03:45.000 No, I got real lucky.

00:03:46.000 When I was in high school, I had a buddy of mine and his cousin started selling it.

00:03:49.000 And he was a great guy.

00:03:51.000 And I watched this dude kind of like shrink into himself and lost a ton of weight.

00:03:57.000 And him and his girlfriend, they had this attic apartment.

00:04:00.000 And they would just hang out and do coke and sell coke.

00:04:02.000 And they would just like watch TV and do coke.

00:04:04.000 And it was like they got bit by a vampire, man.

00:04:07.000 It scared the shit out of me.

00:04:09.000 I was afraid of cocaine, man.

00:04:11.000 Because when I started stand-up, like I started stand-up like in 94, 93 at an open mic.

00:04:17.000 And I was clean.

00:04:18.000 I was sober.

00:04:19.000 I was in rehab.

00:04:21.000 And I wanted to be a comedian.

00:04:23.000 So I went to a library to learn about writing, Jean Perrette, comedy writing, step by step.

00:04:29.000 Another book called How to Write Funny, Be Funny, and Make Money, Being Funny.

00:04:35.000 And that was a real great book, bro.

00:04:37.000 I mean, it had comedy clubs locations in the back, and it had booker numbers to submit your comedy.

00:04:47.000 Yeah, well, remember the Comedy USA Industry Guide?

00:04:50.000 A hundred dollars.

00:04:52.000 Yeah!

00:04:52.000 Can you believe that shit?

00:04:54.000 Bro, I remember dudes used to take out full-page ads.

00:04:57.000 That's how you knew they were killing it.

00:04:59.000 When a dude would take out a full-page ad in the Comedy USA industry, I'm like, wow, he's got a full-page ad.

00:05:06.000 I remember, bro, when...

00:05:10.000 Where I was looking for gigs in 2000, right?

00:05:13.000 And I remember this comedian named Shang and Dante.

00:05:17.000 Comedian Dante.

00:05:19.000 Yeah, I remember those guys.

00:05:19.000 Those guys had a list, like a five-page list of comedy bookers' names, knack a number to call.

00:05:28.000 And the back of the page was, shitty bookers to avoid.

00:05:33.000 And they used to send it to the comics for like 75 bucks.

00:05:36.000 Wow.

00:05:38.000 I got lucky that I was in Boston.

00:05:41.000 And Boston had...

00:05:42.000 That was like the boom happened in Boston when, like, Stephen Wright got on The Tonight Show.

00:05:48.000 Everybody found out about Boston.

00:05:50.000 But it was already this, like, crazy...

00:05:52.000 There's a great documentary called When Stand-Up Stood Out.

00:05:55.000 You have that guy on the show here.

00:05:57.000 I've had a few of those guys on the show.

00:06:00.000 It was like a Chinese restaurant.

00:06:01.000 Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:02.000 Don Gavin was one of those guys.

00:06:04.000 Steve Sweeney, legends.

00:06:06.000 I still say to this day, they're some of the best comics I've ever seen in my life.

00:06:10.000 I've seen them murder harder than anybody I've ever seen in my life.

00:06:14.000 But it was just very regional, very local, and a lot of it didn't translate nationally for some reason.

00:06:21.000 Like Steve Sweeney.

00:06:22.000 In Boston, in front of a Boston audience, is the funniest guy that's ever lived.

00:06:27.000 And I'm not kidding.

00:06:28.000 I'm not exaggerating.

00:06:29.000 He would get, like, Boston accents and Boston attitudes.

00:06:33.000 It would be all a big part of his act.

00:06:35.000 And dude, it was murderous.

00:06:37.000 If you had to follow that, you were fucked.

00:06:39.000 You were fucked, man.

00:06:41.000 And they would do that to dudes from out of town.

00:06:43.000 It was the most ruthless, cruel shit they would do at Nick's Comedy Stop.

00:06:47.000 They would take these...

00:06:50.000 Assassins, these local assassins, and stack them one after the other.

00:06:54.000 It would be Kenny Rogerson, Don Gavin, Steve Sweeney, and then they throw up some headliner.

00:07:01.000 And this poor headliner is used to soft acts on the road.

00:07:05.000 He's used to being known for the guy who was on television.

00:07:07.000 Hey, folks, so I'm Mike, you know, the sitcom, and they try to do stand-up, but they were getting eaten alive.

00:07:15.000 He's talking about nuggets.

00:07:17.000 The guys that were up there all coked out.

00:07:19.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:19.000 Working the crowd.

00:07:21.000 They were wild boys, too.

00:07:22.000 They were big, like, football player-sized, wild, crazy drinkers and partiers.

00:07:28.000 And they were funny, man.

00:07:30.000 And so because there was this, like, love of comedy in Boston, they had all these comedy nights all over the place where you could make a living.

00:07:37.000 So you could be, like, a half-assed comedian like I was.

00:07:40.000 And, you know, you can make...

00:07:42.000 500 bucks a week, just hustling, just moving around.

00:07:46.000 That's what we all did.

00:07:47.000 So there was so many places that you could work and so many like little booking agents and like Like Western Massachusetts, you'd have to go out there.

00:07:58.000 There's these weird towns that are like liberal hideouts.

00:08:02.000 You know what I mean?

00:08:03.000 Like Amherst.

00:08:04.000 You'd get like Amherst gigs.

00:08:06.000 It was weird.

00:08:06.000 Like Amherst, Massachusetts.

00:08:08.000 The other place, you got a B from there to pronounce it right.

00:08:11.000 Which one is that?

00:08:12.000 The one is that you did for a steak sauce.

00:08:15.000 Oh, Worcester.

00:08:16.000 Worcester.

00:08:17.000 Yeah.

00:08:18.000 Yeah, it looks weird.

00:08:20.000 2010, I was doing Last Comic Standing there, and I got there a day early, and I hung out with a Boston comic.

00:08:28.000 I think his uncle is the guy that caught that was missing in action, the Irish gangster. 0.99

00:08:35.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:35.000 David Bolger is the comedian.

00:08:37.000 Yeah, and he was...

00:08:39.000 I said, yeah, man, we're performing Worcester, sir.

00:08:43.000 And then...

00:08:45.000 He took the joint.

00:08:46.000 He goes, no, bro.

00:08:47.000 Worcester.

00:08:47.000 Okay.

00:08:48.000 Thank you for telling me, bro.

00:08:49.000 Yeah, you don't want to say, hey, Worcestershire.

00:08:54.000 Nice to be here.

00:08:55.000 They would fucking kill you.

00:08:56.000 They're like, that's where the great Doug Stanhope is from.

00:08:58.000 Yeah, Worcester.

00:08:59.000 Doug Stanhope started in Worcester.

00:09:01.000 I love him.

00:09:02.000 He's the best.

00:09:03.000 All right, it's February, and by now, 80% of people have probably abandoned their New Year's resolutions.

00:09:09.000 And it makes sense.

00:09:10.000 Life can get crazy, and all of a sudden, you don't have the time.

00:09:13.000 But one easy habit to stick with is AG1. It's an easy, realistic habit that you can make to benefit your whole body health.

00:09:21.000 AG1 makes hard-to-get micronutrients easy to get and replaces multiple vitamins and supplements with just one scoop.

00:09:28.000 You just mix it in some cold water, take a nice moment in the morning to do your body.

00:09:32.000 Right.

00:09:33.000 And honestly, it tastes pretty good.

00:09:34.000 It's not easy to pack this many high-quality ingredients with this much nutrient density, but AG1 makes it happen without added sugars or artificial sweeteners ever.

00:09:45.000 AG1 is a great way to invest in your health now and in the long run, which is why I've partnered with them for so long.

00:09:51.000 Try AG1 and get a free bottle of vitamin D3, K2, and five free AG1 travel packs with your first subscription at drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan.

00:10:02.000 That's a $76 value gift for free when you go to drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan.

00:10:09.000 Check it out.

00:10:10.000 I had a first comedy album, the one he did with Roaring or something.

00:10:15.000 Oh, the one where he did with music in the background?

00:10:17.000 Yeah.

00:10:17.000 That was great.

00:10:18.000 That's a great album.

00:10:19.000 There was a place like that, a Boston place, but not in a documentary, but Will Durst.

00:10:25.000 He's a San Francisco comedian.

00:10:27.000 Sure.

00:10:27.000 He had a room like that called the Comedy Zoo or the zoo.

00:10:31.000 Holy City Zoo, right?

00:10:32.000 Holy City Zoo.

00:10:32.000 Yeah.

00:10:33.000 And there's a comedian that came out of there that's a killer comic and he's still alive and he opens for me and he opens for Rob Schneider and Papa and he opens up for a lot of people.

00:10:45.000 Larry Bubbles Brown.

00:10:46.000 Oh, cool.

00:10:47.000 And he's an old school guy.

00:10:49.000 After every joke, he goes, merr, merr.

00:10:52.000 But he did Letterman in 1992. And then he did it again in 2006. So he has a record for doing Letterman between 30 years.

00:11:02.000 Wow.

00:11:03.000 But he's one of those comics that never left San Francisco.

00:11:07.000 There's a few of those guys that got trapped like that.

00:11:09.000 Yes.

00:11:10.000 That were really good guys.

00:11:12.000 Remember that one guy in Chicago?

00:11:15.000 Fuck.

00:11:16.000 What was his?

00:11:16.000 Larry...

00:11:17.000 Larry Reeb?

00:11:19.000 Larry Reeb.

00:11:20.000 Remember Larry Reeb?

00:11:21.000 He was a guy like that, like a really solid national act, but it was so Chicago, he kind of stayed around there mostly.

00:11:29.000 But he was like, every now and then, you'd find towns like that, you had like one murderer that lived in the town.

00:11:34.000 Bob Marley in New England.

00:11:36.000 Yes, Bob Marley was the murderer of Maine.

00:11:40.000 And Robert Schimel was Arizona.

00:11:42.000 I love Robert Schimel, man.

00:11:43.000 Yeah, he was the best.

00:11:44.000 He was the best.

00:11:45.000 He was such a good guy.

00:11:46.000 But he lived in Phoenix, and it was somewhere in that area.

00:11:51.000 I think it was Phoenix.

00:11:52.000 But for him, it was easier to get around the country that way, and he didn't want to be a part of it.

00:11:57.000 He was one of the first guys that I was like, oh, you could be a big-time comic and not have to leave your state.

00:12:03.000 You could get to a point where you could live in Oklahoma like Larry the Cable Guy does, probably.

00:12:07.000 Where does he live?

00:12:08.000 He lives somewhere like Georgia or something like that?

00:12:11.000 I don't know.

00:12:12.000 Where does he live?

00:12:14.000 Is that where he lives, though?

00:12:15.000 I don't want to give up his...

00:12:16.000 I'm not trying to dox him.

00:12:17.000 He's like on the radio there.

00:12:19.000 But I think...

00:12:19.000 Yeah, he's definitely from there.

00:12:21.000 I just don't know if he lives there.

00:12:23.000 Probably shouldn't say where he lives.

00:12:24.000 But that dude is...

00:12:26.000 He could be anywhere.

00:12:27.000 It doesn't matter.

00:12:28.000 You could just go anywhere.

00:12:31.000 I used to see his face when I go to El Paso comic strip.

00:12:34.000 And all the dudes you're talking about, they were all there.

00:12:37.000 Dude, I remember Josh Wolfe showed me a picture that he took when he was on stage, and they were doing...

00:12:42.000 It was like 60,000 people.

00:12:46.000 So Larry the Cable Guy was doing like 60,000 people, and Josh Wolfe's got his camera, and he's moving around on stage.

00:12:52.000 That is the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen.

00:12:54.000 That crowd is so insane.

00:12:56.000 That's how big that guy got.

00:12:57.000 50,000 people, man.

00:13:00.000 And he was another dude that got hated on for no reason, other than his success.

00:13:06.000 It was like...

00:13:07.000 For some reason, everybody couldn't believe that you could say offensive things as a joke in a character all of a sudden.

00:13:17.000 And it coincidentally happened at the same time as him getting super huge.

00:13:23.000 It's like, you guys are just fucking haters.

00:13:26.000 That's crazy how they start hating the character.

00:13:29.000 But not the person.

00:13:30.000 Well, that's the dice thing.

00:13:32.000 Yeah, right?

00:13:33.000 Just like the guy with it.

00:13:34.000 They used to have that puppet in New York.

00:13:35.000 Oh, Otto and George.

00:13:37.000 Yeah.

00:13:37.000 Greg Gerardo, when I opened for him back in the day, back in Addison Improv, he told me that he would say the nastiest shit, that puppet.

00:13:47.000 And this lady threw shit at the puppet, but not at Otto. 1.00

00:13:52.000 Bro, we were talking about it Tuesday night in the green room.

00:13:55.000 We were talking about how that puppet was kind of possessed.

00:13:59.000 And I'm not even bullshitting.

00:14:00.000 You know, Otto was out there.

00:14:02.000 Otto was out there.

00:14:03.000 I mean, he was out there.

00:14:05.000 Everybody, I mean, that dude partied.

00:14:07.000 He went hard.

00:14:08.000 And he was a genius comedian.

00:14:10.000 But he would get rides to gigs and say, pull over, I gotta check on George.

00:14:17.000 And he would, in the fucking side of the highway, he would pull over, pop the trunk, and check on the dummy.

00:14:24.000 Wow, his buddy.

00:14:28.000 Weird, man.

00:14:29.000 Weird, man.

00:14:30.000 Whoa, there he is.

00:14:31.000 Bro, someone stabbed that dummy once.

00:14:33.000 Yeah?

00:14:34.000 At Dangerfields.

00:14:35.000 Some Puerto Rican guy.

00:14:36.000 The dummy was saying Puerto Rican jokes to this guy.

00:14:39.000 And the guy fucking stabbed the dummy!

00:14:42.000 Stabbed the dummy!

00:14:43.000 Was it a knife or a sharp bed spring?

00:14:45.000 A fucking knife!

00:14:47.000 Or a sharp bed spring, bro.

00:14:49.000 Something.

00:14:50.000 Anything.

00:14:50.000 Whatever you got that you polished down to a point.

00:14:52.000 You ever watch the Fabulous Miss Measel?

00:14:55.000 What's that?

00:14:55.000 The Fabulous Mrs. Maisel is about a female comic growing up in the 50s on Amazon.

00:15:00.000 No.

00:15:01.000 Oh, Fabulous Mrs. Maisel.

00:15:03.000 Mrs. Maisel.

00:15:04.000 Oh, she's Mrs. All right. 0.87

00:15:06.000 I thought you were saying something in Spanish.

00:15:09.000 That's hilarious.

00:15:11.000 You ever seen Mousy Marcion?

00:15:13.000 That's hilarious.

00:15:14.000 I literally thought you were talking about a completely different show.

00:15:17.000 Do you remember the ventriloquist that did a one-minute set on her show?

00:15:20.000 Yeah.

00:15:21.000 Well, so like Ventriloquist, now it's like, it's one of those things like with Carrot Top, he's like so successful at props that no one does props anymore.

00:15:33.000 But when we first started out...

00:15:35.000 Everybody did props.

00:15:37.000 There was like 10 guys on a lineup of 20 guys that have props they bring with them on stage.

00:15:43.000 Because sometimes it was really funny.

00:15:45.000 Rusty Dooley.

00:15:45.000 Yeah, Rusty Dooley was great at it.

00:15:47.000 But it's like he owned that for whatever reason.

00:15:51.000 Because Carrot Top got so big using props, he's the only guy that still does it, that he kind of owns that.

00:15:56.000 And then with Jeff Dunham, he got so big at being a ventriloquist.

00:16:00.000 Like, there's no ventriloquist anymore.

00:16:02.000 When we were kids, there was always comedy ventriloquists.

00:16:06.000 There was like Willie Tyler and Lester.

00:16:08.000 Remember?

00:16:09.000 It was a fun thing.

00:16:11.000 You'd get the dummy to say fucked up shit, and then you'd go, I can't believe you could say that in front of these nice people.

00:16:17.000 And then George would be like, fuck these people!

00:16:21.000 He'd tell everybody to suck his cock. 1.00

00:16:23.000 It was crazy.

00:16:26.000 Woody Woody in the hood.

00:16:28.000 Yeah.

00:16:29.000 But with Otto and George, it was a little different, man.

00:16:31.000 Because I think George...

00:16:33.000 I think Otto believed that George was alive.

00:16:37.000 I think Otto believed there was something about George that was different than him.

00:16:41.000 Like, he was not Otto and George.

00:16:44.000 He was just Otto.

00:16:46.000 And George only existed when George was there.

00:16:48.000 And it seemed like there was something going on with that.

00:16:53.000 Fucking fried his brain to the point where he was connecting with, you know, all kinds of energy that wasn't even there.

00:17:00.000 You know, he might have been out.

00:17:02.000 He was out there.

00:17:03.000 He was out there.

00:17:04.000 I wonder if they smoke crack together.

00:17:06.000 I wonder if they smoke crack together?

00:17:07.000 Yeah, he probably made George smoke it.

00:17:09.000 Yeah.

00:17:10.000 There's famous auto-crack stories.

00:17:13.000 That guy was gone.

00:17:14.000 But he was also brilliant.

00:17:16.000 Really funny, man.

00:17:17.000 Fucking funny.

00:17:18.000 In a comics comic, we would all sit in the back of the room to watch when he was on stage.

00:17:23.000 So there's a lot of those guys.

00:17:25.000 That are like real genius, but they're real eccentric.

00:17:29.000 And for whatever reason, the general public doesn't find out about them.

00:17:33.000 There's not like a good vehicle, at least back then there wasn't, for them to get out to the general public.

00:17:39.000 Like today, I would say an example of that is like Brian Holtzman.

00:17:43.000 Yes.

00:17:44.000 Right?

00:17:44.000 Like Brian Holtzman, we've known forever.

00:17:46.000 He's always been a guy we all watched.

00:17:49.000 He was always the guy that at the end of the night, especially if something fucked up happened, like there was a plane crash, like someone got eaten by a lion.

00:17:57.000 That's funny because you mentioned a plane crash because I was there when he did that joke.

00:18:02.000 I was in the back of the comedy store.

00:18:04.000 He said American Airlines is hiring And then he said I remember Who survived that airline And he said, fuck that.

00:18:20.000 Everybody says, how come they don't build a plane out of the black box or sit me next to the black box?

00:18:26.000 Sit me next to a fucking baby. 0.99

00:18:28.000 Baby survived.

00:18:29.000 Give me a hold of that baby, bitch. 1.00

00:18:31.000 A baby survived?

00:18:32.000 Yeah, a baby survived an airline at the flight one time and he said, I want to hold that baby.

00:18:38.000 I want to hold somebody's baby in an airplane.

00:18:40.000 Just in case it goes down.

00:18:42.000 Because if a baby survives, I'm going to survive.

00:18:44.000 You have to see him say it.

00:18:46.000 I don't think we're doing it justice.

00:18:47.000 I'm fucking it all up.

00:18:48.000 My favorite one was when Susan Smith got arrested for drowning her kids.

00:18:53.000 He goes, I heard those were bad kids.

00:18:55.000 I heard they sat that close to the TV. They didn't put away their blocks.

00:18:59.000 Those kids will not be missed.

00:19:01.000 The fun thing about Brian is if you know him, like in real life, he's like the sweetest guy on earth.

00:19:07.000 He's such a sweetheart of a guy, like super friendly to everybody, loves everybody.

00:19:12.000 Like he doesn't even have an enemy.

00:19:13.000 Like Brian Holtzman has no enemies.

00:19:15.000 He's always sweet and friendly.

00:19:16.000 And then he gets on stage and it's like he becomes like his version of George.

00:19:22.000 Yeah.

00:19:23.000 I hung out with Brian Holtzman.

00:19:26.000 I hung out with Brian Holtzman and his mom.

00:19:29.000 In San Antonio, Texas.

00:19:30.000 Oh, wow.

00:19:31.000 Because we were doing the Latino Laugh Festival. 0.74

00:19:33.000 Oh, wow.

00:19:34.000 And he was the only non-Latino on the show, him and Darren Carter.

00:19:38.000 And, bro, there was all Latinos, bro.

00:19:41.000 Everybody was getting shit.

00:19:42.000 Johnny Sanchez pronounces his name like an American and somebody yelled out, it's Sanchez, fucker!

00:19:49.000 How did they say it?

00:19:50.000 I don't know.

00:19:51.000 He said, my name is Johnny Sanchez.

00:19:53.000 And then somebody said, no, it's Sanchez with five A's.

00:19:57.000 Sanchez.

00:19:58.000 Oh, boy.

00:19:58.000 So he got heckled.

00:19:59.000 He got heckled for saying his name in a non-Mexican way?

00:20:03.000 Yes.

00:20:03.000 And then Brian Holtzman goes up there.

00:20:06.000 Bro, it's rough out in those streets.

00:20:07.000 And Brian Holtzman goes up there and he said, He goes, this is not a comedy show.

00:20:12.000 Close all the doors.

00:20:14.000 I go, Border Patrol's gonna come in here and take care of everybody. 0.90

00:20:17.000 But this is after we were doing this taping, the taping Mencia shows up, does a guest spot on our taping, and goes long, really long.

00:20:37.000 Jeff Valdez looking around.

00:20:39.000 So then that's when Barry Holstein goes up and murders it.

00:20:43.000 He goes, man, I gotta figure out how to, how to, this immigration problem, man. 1.00

00:20:46.000 We got a bunch of U-Haul trucks, U-Haul trucks.

00:20:49.000 We go around to every Home Depot.

00:20:51.000 We got these people.

00:20:52.000 Yeah, we're hiring, bro.

00:20:53.000 There's lots of jobs.

00:20:54.000 Muchos trabajos.

00:20:55.000 Come on.

00:20:56.000 Get in the trucks.

00:20:57.000 We fucking take these trucks.

00:20:59.000 We drop them off in Tijuana, Mexico.

00:21:02.000 Yeah.

00:21:03.000 You have to see him say it.

00:21:06.000 He starts screaming and shit.

00:21:08.000 But it's also like he's playing this bizarre, psychotic character that only comes out when he's on stage.

00:21:15.000 He's the most different when he's on stage.

00:21:17.000 And he held his job, too, when he had a job.

00:21:19.000 He always had a job.

00:21:21.000 That was the problem.

00:21:21.000 Blue-color guy.

00:21:22.000 That was the problem.

00:21:23.000 He never hit the road.

00:21:25.000 He stuck around the store.

00:21:25.000 Because, like I was saying, there's not a path for those guys.

00:21:29.000 Nobody wanted Brian Holtzman to open for them.

00:21:31.000 That's too weird.

00:21:32.000 No.

00:21:35.000 He belonged at the store, and now he's found a crowd at the Mothership.

00:21:40.000 His shows at the Mothership, they're all sold out.

00:21:43.000 He's hilarious.

00:21:44.000 People come to see him, and he didn't have a path before.

00:21:49.000 He's too weird to put on a television show.

00:21:52.000 You really want to be in the room.

00:21:55.000 That's what it is.

00:21:56.000 If anybody is way funnier in the room, it's Brian Holtzman.

00:22:00.000 The discomfort, the weirdness, and the way he works around it when you're in the room is so fun.

00:22:06.000 And every show is different.

00:22:08.000 Every show's different.

00:22:08.000 And he's always talking about new things.

00:22:12.000 It's really like he channels this fucking character.

00:22:15.000 He should be two different people.

00:22:18.000 He should be Brian Holtzman, the super nice guy, and then whatever the fuck his name is when he's on stage.

00:22:23.000 It's almost like he needs a second name.

00:22:25.000 Mitzi should have done that a long time ago. 0.99

00:22:27.000 Mitzi used to call Joey Fat Baby.

00:22:29.000 Do you remember those days?

00:22:30.000 Yeah.

00:22:31.000 Someone has one of the lineups that they got from Jeff Scott on the lineup.

00:22:37.000 It's got everybody's name and then, you know, 15 minutes and then it says Fat Baby.

00:22:41.000 Fat Baby.

00:22:42.000 She wanted him to be called Fat Baby.

00:22:47.000 Weird advice sometimes, man.

00:22:49.000 The managers give you the clubs.

00:22:50.000 Terrible advice.

00:22:51.000 Can't listen to any of them.

00:22:52.000 I've never had one good advice.

00:22:53.000 I was bummed out one time because, you know, you have to go back and forth, back and forth until they make you a regular.

00:22:59.000 Mm-hmm.

00:23:00.000 And I was trying at the Laugh Factory.

00:23:03.000 And one time, Jay Masada, he told me, I don't see you making it, man, for another six to eight years.

00:23:09.000 Oh, boy.

00:23:09.000 And then when I finally got last coming standing, I looked at him and said, Jamie, your advice was full of shit.

00:23:15.000 It took fucking 12. It took 12, not six.

00:23:19.000 But I was bummed out when he told me that.

00:23:21.000 I was like bummed out.

00:23:22.000 You know, you get bummed out, like you realize you put in all this work and it's like, you know, you can't be a regular here.

00:23:27.000 So you got to go back to these other rooms.

00:23:30.000 I talked to Brad Williams, and he said, fuck that advice, bro.

00:23:36.000 You know what he told me?

00:23:38.000 He said, he told me that I should get all the little people I can find in Hollywood.

00:23:43.000 All of them.

00:23:44.000 All the little midges, all the little persons, and bring them to the Laugh Factory. 1.00

00:23:49.000 And Jamie said, you can have the biggest little person show in all of Hollywood.

00:23:55.000 That was his advice for Brad.

00:23:57.000 So then I thought I was not feeling so bad after that.

00:24:00.000 Then I talked to Alonzo Bowden and he told Alonzo Bowden that he should put on shoulder pads and be a football comic.

00:24:12.000 So Joe, after hearing that, I didn't want to cry anymore.

00:24:16.000 Oh my god.

00:24:18.000 He had some terrible advice.

00:24:21.000 I think he was giving this advice to Todd Parker, who was telling him, it was either Todd Parker or Robbie Prince, two guys that I knew from Boston.

00:24:31.000 One of them was telling him, I think it's Todd, you've got to be Generation X guy.

00:24:36.000 This is what you're going to be, buddy.

00:24:37.000 You're going to be Generation X guy.

00:24:39.000 So from Generation X, this is how I see the world, buddy.

00:24:44.000 Everything was as a generation X guy. 0.84

00:24:47.000 He was like, that's the worst advice I've ever heard in my life.

00:24:50.000 Why would I do that?

00:24:51.000 But people would have schemes for you.

00:24:54.000 But the thing is, they're just trying to help.

00:24:56.000 Yeah.

00:24:57.000 But no one knows how to do it other than you, and you've got to figure it out.

00:25:01.000 No one can tell you.

00:25:03.000 Yeah, they're outdated, too.

00:25:04.000 Like, who would have told Mitch Hedberg, wear sunglasses and sometimes turn your back to the crowd?

00:25:09.000 No one.

00:25:10.000 No one.

00:25:11.000 Mitch Hedberg would be killing with his back to the crowd high on heroin.

00:25:16.000 All non-sequiturs for like an hour and a half.

00:25:19.000 Did he have stage fright?

00:25:20.000 He was just crazy.

00:25:22.000 You know, brilliant.

00:25:23.000 You worked with him?

00:25:23.000 You met him?

00:25:24.000 I met him.

00:25:24.000 I didn't know him well, but I knew him enough that it was a bummer.

00:25:29.000 When he died, I remember I was with Stan Hope.

00:25:32.000 We were...

00:25:33.000 Filming something, and we found out that he had gangrene.

00:25:37.000 He got admitted to a hospital.

00:25:39.000 He had gangrene.

00:25:40.000 You're like, yo, gangrene fucking kills people.

00:25:42.000 Like, this is fucking scary.

00:25:44.000 And, you know, he just had a problem.

00:25:47.000 He just liked that heroin.

00:25:49.000 And he didn't want to stop.

00:25:50.000 Like, people wanted to clean him up.

00:25:52.000 He did not want to get cleaned up.

00:25:53.000 It's like, I am not interested.

00:25:55.000 I did heroin one time, but I didn't show it up.

00:25:58.000 I just smoked it, but I was in Amsterdam.

00:26:01.000 Dude, it doesn't seem like anybody has a great old time with the rest of their life once they start doing heroin.

00:26:07.000 It's like cocaine.

00:26:08.000 It's the same thing.

00:26:09.000 I think there's probably moments of brilliance that have come out of heroin, though.

00:26:14.000 I definitely do when I think about 1960s music.

00:26:18.000 I think heroin and LSD affected a lot of rock and roll in the 1960s.

00:26:24.000 And cannabis for sure, too.

00:26:26.000 And probably mushrooms.

00:26:28.000 But, you know...

00:26:30.000 The thing that, it always kills you.

00:26:33.000 Like, everybody always, it always ruins everything.

00:26:36.000 They all died young.

00:26:37.000 Everybody, like, put Morrison, 27, Hendrix, 27. Although there is a wild conspiracy about Hendrix.

00:26:46.000 Yeah?

00:26:46.000 Yeah.

00:26:47.000 What did you hear?

00:26:47.000 That he was killed by his manager.

00:26:49.000 The conspiracy, there was one of his bodyguards, right?

00:26:52.000 Is that what it was, Jamie?

00:26:53.000 That wrote this book?

00:26:55.000 How did he die?

00:26:57.000 I think he died of his asphyxiation from throwing up, you know, which is one thing that can happen to people that are doing drugs.

00:27:05.000 But the bodyguard, I believe this, don't hold me to this, but I believe the story was Hendrix was going to leave his manager.

00:27:15.000 His manager was mobbed up.

00:27:17.000 His manager was like a scary guy.

00:27:18.000 And his manager was making a lot of money with Hendrix.

00:27:21.000 Hendrix was trying to leave.

00:27:24.000 He's got the rights to the Hendrix catalog and he kills Hendrix.

00:27:28.000 So it's former roadie.

00:27:30.000 So the thing that's compelling about this is shortly after this, his girlfriend committed suicide, air quotes, by being thrown off a roof.

00:27:40.000 So they got rid of Hendrix and they got rid of his girlfriend, if that's what really happened.

00:27:45.000 So he was the benefactor, allegedly, of the guitarist's $2 million life insurance policy.

00:27:52.000 Two million dollars.

00:27:55.000 Okay, worth around $1.2 million in 1970. According to Wright, Jeffrey told him about the crime in 1971, a year after the 27-year-old Hendricks was found dead in a London hotel.

00:28:06.000 He said, I had to do it, Tappy.

00:28:08.000 Wright claims the manager said, you understand, don't you?

00:28:11.000 I had to do it.

00:28:12.000 You know damn well what I'm talking about.

00:28:14.000 We went round to his hotel room, got a handful of pills, stuffed them into his mouth, then poured a few bottles of red wine deep into his windpipe.

00:28:24.000 Hendricks was found dead at the Samarkand Hotel on 18th of September 1970. The cause of death was recorded as barbiturate intoxication and inhalation of vomit.

00:28:37.000 I can still hear the conversation Wright wrote of Jeffrey's confession.

00:28:42.000 See the man I'd known for so much of my life, his face pale, hand clutching at his glass in sudden rage.

00:28:49.000 Hendricks' manager died in a plane crash in 73. So this guy's dead that supposedly did this.

00:28:56.000 Listen, man, they did that back then.

00:28:58.000 They were gangsters.

00:28:59.000 There was gangsters running everything.

00:29:01.000 If there was a lot of money to be made, scary people moved in, and it became a real problem.

00:29:07.000 Yeah, man.

00:29:08.000 Gangsters own a lot of stuff that a lot of people wouldn't want to own, like a gay club. 1.00

00:29:12.000 Uh-huh.

00:29:13.000 Yeah.

00:29:14.000 Like in LA, they own all the gay clubs. 0.99

00:29:16.000 They were not raided because they were paying.

00:29:19.000 This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

00:29:22.000 People like to throw around all these red flags, you know, things someone says or does that you don't like, which is fine.

00:29:28.000 But instead of focusing on the negative all the time, why don't we focus on the positive?

00:29:34.000 If you're looking for a romantic partner, think about what traits you like to see in a person.

00:29:39.000 If you like to work out and stay in shape, you might want to find someone who's also health conscious.

00:29:43.000 Or if you like to travel, you probably want to find someone who's just as adventurous.

00:29:49.000 Now, once you're in a relationship, it's a whole different ballgame, and things aren't always going to be perfect.

00:29:54.000 But that's what therapy is for.

00:29:57.000 Therapy is an excellent way to work through any problems, even the small ones.

00:30:00.000 Like, say you and a loved one have been fighting a lot lately, but you still really want to make things work.

00:30:05.000 Therapy can serve as a mediary.

00:30:07.000 It can help you identify the problem and teach you positive ways to address it.

00:30:11.000 If you're new to therapy or want to try something different, BetterHelp is a great place to start.

00:30:17.000 It's convenient and affordable since everything is done online.

00:30:21.000 It's already helped over 5 million people worldwide connect with a credentialed therapist.

00:30:27.000 Discover your relationship green flag.

00:30:30.000 Visit BetterHelp.com to get 10% off your first month.

00:30:36.000 That's BetterHelp.com.

00:30:43.000 But if you want to talk about something like that, would a manager kill a client for a life insurance policy back then?

00:30:52.000 Yeah.

00:30:53.000 I read this.

00:30:53.000 They didn't even have DNA back then, man.

00:30:55.000 I read this.

00:30:56.000 It's like crazy, right?

00:30:58.000 My mom didn't like Elvis.

00:30:59.000 She liked the Beatles, right?

00:31:01.000 And I asked my mom, how come you don't like fucking Elvis?

00:31:03.000 He's badass, too.

00:31:04.000 Oh, because Elvis said that I'd rather have kids with dogs than a Mexican woman. 1.00

00:31:10.000 And I said, when did he say that?

00:31:12.000 And he goes, he said it.

00:31:14.000 Then I found out later on when I went in a rabbit hole, it was a colonel.

00:31:19.000 The colonel spread that.

00:31:20.000 The colonel spread that.

00:31:21.000 Because he wanted to keep him in America and not tour anywhere.

00:31:26.000 The colonel was an evil dude, man.

00:31:28.000 Yeah.

00:31:29.000 By the way, that Tom Hanks performance is fucking fantastic.

00:31:34.000 In that Elvis movie, where he plays the Colonel?

00:31:36.000 Yeah.

00:31:36.000 You know, when you see it, you appreciate how a guy can really become a different person.

00:31:42.000 He becomes this creepy manager guy, this manipulative, gambling, creepy manager guy.

00:31:48.000 I mean, it's fucking genius, man.

00:31:49.000 It's so good.

00:31:52.000 That's what's crazy.

00:31:53.000 You forget that's Tom Hanks.

00:31:54.000 You're like, oh.

00:31:55.000 But you really got a sense of the relationship that Elvis had with this dude.

00:32:00.000 Because those guys that get crazy...

00:32:02.000 There's famous, and then there's Elvis famous in the 1960s, and you don't even understand what that means.

00:32:09.000 No one understands what that means.

00:32:11.000 And he was the first one to be like that.

00:32:13.000 Imagine that.

00:32:13.000 I know, man.

00:32:14.000 Imagine walking into a room, you just go, you want to kiss?

00:32:17.000 And they kiss.

00:32:18.000 Just imagine just trying to navigate life as a human being, and you're literally the most desired person.

00:32:27.000 To be around alive.

00:32:28.000 Like, you can't walk down the street.

00:32:30.000 People scream and they cheer and they run at you.

00:32:32.000 Women faint. 1.00

00:32:33.000 They cry.

00:32:34.000 And there's never been someone like that before.

00:32:36.000 That's what's crazy.

00:32:36.000 Because this is the first time you've seen a guy on television.

00:32:40.000 And he's on television shaking his hips.

00:32:43.000 And so they go crazy.

00:32:45.000 No one's ever done that, huh?

00:32:46.000 No.

00:32:47.000 No.

00:32:48.000 You never had a pop star on TV shaking his hips like he's fucking? 0.95

00:32:52.000 Yeah.

00:32:53.000 It was too much.

00:32:54.000 Did they cover it up the first time?

00:32:55.000 I think they did something where they were upset at him because they didn't know he was going to do it.

00:33:01.000 I think it was like, I think he was actually going to get fined in some places.

00:33:05.000 Like, you weren't allowed to shake your hips like that.

00:33:07.000 Like, this is how crazy being Elvis was.

00:33:12.000 Badass.

00:33:12.000 This is one video or picture of Elvis that I like, besides the one you have here.

00:33:16.000 You know, the rest hit.

00:33:18.000 When he's...

00:33:19.000 He's playing outside, an outside event, and he's wearing all black, and he's fucking young as hell, and the pompadour looking good, the blue eyes are shiny, and he's like, bro.

00:33:30.000 And everybody's fainting.

00:33:31.000 And there was no Elvis before Elvis.

00:33:33.000 That's what's crazy.

00:33:34.000 So he's like this one guy that becomes way more famous than any entertainer ever.

00:33:40.000 And then he's got an evil manager, and then he's doing pills, and then he's just living in paranoia, and the whole world don't make any sense.

00:33:47.000 Nothing makes any sense.

00:33:49.000 It can't make any sense.

00:33:50.000 You have no peers.

00:33:51.000 You have no one around you that's like you, no one around you that can understand you, and you're being protected by some guy who's, like, siphoning money from you.

00:34:01.000 He was doing shit little gigs, right?

00:34:02.000 Like, he'll do, like, a two-hour show and then leave, go do another two-hour show somewhere else?

00:34:07.000 Well, I think he got into a financial bind, right?

00:34:10.000 Wasn't that a part of the movie?

00:34:12.000 And then he got that Vegas residency.

00:34:16.000 Bro, the Vegas residency is probably convenient because you don't have to go anywhere.

00:34:21.000 You know where you live.

00:34:23.000 You know where the gig is.

00:34:24.000 Like, Carrot Top seems to like it, but I don't think I could do that.

00:34:28.000 Bro, if you're a musician, though, like Elvis, it's great.

00:34:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:32.000 But even, like, comics can do it.

00:34:34.000 A lot of comics do it.

00:34:35.000 You know?

00:34:36.000 I just don't know about living in Vegas.

00:34:40.000 I lose my mind being in the same place seven days a week, 14 shows.

00:34:45.000 The people that live outside of Vegas love it, though.

00:34:47.000 If you live in Henderson or some of those places, they're very, very nice places.

00:34:52.000 But you're still connected to this place where people go to get psychotic.

00:34:58.000 There's some weird energy about that.

00:35:00.000 Listen, this is not a knock on Vegas.

00:35:02.000 I love Vegas.

00:35:03.000 Look, I love New York City.

00:35:05.000 Ari fucking loves living in New York City. 1.00

00:35:07.000 I can't live in New York City.

00:35:08.000 I can't handle all that.

00:35:09.000 I gotta get the fuck away.

00:35:11.000 Some people love it.

00:35:12.000 Everybody can love everything.

00:35:13.000 But it just seems like...

00:35:16.000 It's like, Vegas is a uniquely crazy place.

00:35:19.000 People go there specifically like, we're gonna go to Vegas!

00:35:23.000 It's like, it's in the title of the state means craziness.

00:35:27.000 You went to Vegas.

00:35:28.000 Every day, probably like 50,000 people show up.

00:35:32.000 It's every day.

00:35:33.000 And then you got rodeos coming into town and UFC fights coming into town and fucking concerts.

00:35:38.000 Raider fans.

00:35:40.000 It's a fucking wild-ass town.

00:35:42.000 I love being there.

00:35:44.000 I just don't know if I could live there.

00:35:45.000 It seems like it's almost a little too crazy.

00:35:48.000 So this is Ed Sullivan Show, 1956. This is the first time his hips show up on the screen?

00:35:54.000 It's ten minutes into this?

00:35:56.000 Yeah, he was wiggling his dick too much.

00:35:57.000 That's all he was doing, though.

00:35:58.000 That's a lot, Jamie!

00:35:59.000 What do you mean?

00:36:00.000 That's all he was doing.

00:36:01.000 That's offensive.

00:36:02.000 After this aired, they said they wouldn't air him from the waist down anymore.

00:36:06.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:36:09.000 It's barely shown.

00:36:11.000 It's so crazy.

00:36:12.000 Bro, he probably had it.

00:36:13.000 Look, his big old dick keeps slapping at his jacket.

00:36:15.000 That's what it is.

00:36:16.000 Look.

00:36:17.000 If you see that side, back it up a little bit.

00:36:19.000 That's what the problem is, Jamie.

00:36:20.000 Look at that jacket popping up and down from his big old Elvis dick.

00:36:23.000 Look at it!

00:36:23.000 He didn't assemble with it.

00:36:25.000 Bro, he's making his jacket pop with his dick.

00:36:28.000 I'm with the censors.

00:36:30.000 I'm with the censors.

00:36:31.000 Of course he had a big dick.

00:36:32.000 He had everything.

00:36:33.000 He had everything.

00:36:34.000 He had voice, talent, beautiful.

00:36:35.000 You think he's going to have a little dick?

00:36:37.000 Hell no, man.

00:36:37.000 All those gifts?

00:36:38.000 How tall is he?

00:36:39.000 I don't know.

00:36:40.000 He's probably at least 6 feet tall.

00:36:41.000 21 years old there.

00:36:42.000 21!

00:36:43.000 Wow!

00:36:44.000 How?

00:36:46.000 How can you manage that?

00:36:47.000 How can you navigate that at 21 years old?

00:36:50.000 I know, man.

00:36:51.000 Bro, it's him and Michael Jackson.

00:36:53.000 These are the two case studies in people that got too famous.

00:36:57.000 But sometimes I wonder, man, how would I handle that much success at that early age?

00:37:01.000 Bro, you wouldn't.

00:37:02.000 I know.

00:37:05.000 You wouldn't.

00:37:05.000 You would go crazy.

00:37:07.000 How about you?

00:37:08.000 Crazy.

00:37:08.000 I would've gone crazy.

00:37:09.000 I would've been sitting with a big fucking cold sore.

00:37:11.000 Yeah, dude.

00:37:11.000 I got lucky.

00:37:12.000 My fame ascent was a slow drip.

00:37:15.000 You know, like over time.

00:37:17.000 Oh, bro.

00:37:18.000 It was a slow drip.

00:37:18.000 Mine was like that little mountain guy on The Price is Right.

00:37:24.000 And then stopping along the way.

00:37:26.000 Bunch of haters.

00:37:27.000 Fighting with other comics.

00:37:30.000 Coke here.

00:37:32.000 Hanging around at El Compadre's too long with Joey Diaz.

00:37:35.000 El Compadre's is the spot.

00:37:38.000 64 years ago today, more than 60 million people watched Elvis Presley perform on The Ed Sullivan Show.

00:37:45.000 60 million!

00:37:47.000 That's so crazy.

00:37:47.000 But that's how it used to be, man.

00:37:49.000 And that's why losing control of that is so devastating to mainstream media.

00:37:55.000 That was what it was.

00:37:56.000 When I was a kid, there was three channels, dude.

00:37:58.000 There was NBC, ABC, and CBS, and that was it.

00:38:02.000 And then all of a sudden there was Fox, and we were crazy.

00:38:04.000 Did you have a whole other channel?

00:38:06.000 You had local channels too, though, in your neighborhood?

00:38:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:08.000 We definitely did.

00:38:09.000 Especially, yeah, everyone has local channels.

00:38:12.000 So you always had the local NBC news.

00:38:14.000 You need those.

00:38:15.000 Somebody can play karate movies.

00:38:17.000 Yeah, we didn't even have cable.

00:38:18.000 It didn't exist.

00:38:19.000 You have to realize how nuts the world was when everything you watched on television was just television.

00:38:25.000 That's all you ever saw.

00:38:27.000 There's no cable.

00:38:28.000 So you have four channels.

00:38:31.000 You felt so lucky to have that fourth channel.

00:38:33.000 You got The Simpsons, Married with Children came on that channel.

00:38:37.000 Fox changed the whole...

00:38:38.000 In Living Color, changed the whole feeling of what a channel was.

00:38:43.000 It's crazy that Fox is now connected to conservative Republicans reporting the news.

00:38:49.000 But it's like Fox, when we were kids, was married with children.

00:38:52.000 It was like the Renegade shows.

00:38:55.000 It was The Simpsons.

00:38:57.000 There was a bunch of fun shows that were on Fox.

00:39:01.000 Fun shows, man.

00:39:02.000 Living Single.

00:39:03.000 Yeah, but In Living Color, to this day, I say, is one of...

00:39:07.000 There's two of the greatest comics...

00:39:09.000 Like, Saturday Night Live always gets it for longevity, because it's crazy.

00:39:13.000 They've been around so long.

00:39:14.000 ACTV. But for, like, pure funny, for me, it's like In Living Color and Chappelle's show.

00:39:20.000 And I feel like you don't get Chappelle's show unless you have In Living Color first.

00:39:25.000 I feel like...

00:39:27.000 I feel like In Living Color broke open the door for chaotic sketches that were, like, really funny, man.

00:39:34.000 Wildly offensive.

00:39:36.000 Really funny.

00:39:37.000 To this day, like, there's a lot of shit on...

00:39:39.000 In living color that if you tried to do like in the height of wokeness like three or four years ago, bro, they would fucking call for your censorship.

00:39:49.000 Yeah, man.

00:39:49.000 They will come for you.

00:39:50.000 Especially when Damon Wayans and David Languier were doing men on film.

00:39:54.000 There's an episode where fucking the camera falls.

00:39:58.000 They gave it two snaps.

00:39:59.000 Yeah, the camera falls on Damon Wayans and he becomes heterosexual all of a sudden.

00:40:05.000 And then David Linguero starts touching him.

00:40:08.000 He goes, man, get your ass away from me, man.

00:40:10.000 That episode.

00:40:12.000 How about when he played Handyman?

00:40:13.000 He played a mentally retarded... 1.00

00:40:15.000 I love that one.

00:40:16.000 Oh, my God.

00:40:17.000 That's my favorite movie.

00:40:18.000 Yeah, a handicapped superhero.

00:40:22.000 And he made a superhero movie about him.

00:40:25.000 Handyman.

00:40:27.000 He would fly like this.

00:40:28.000 Yeah.

00:40:31.000 Dude, this show was wildly offensive, but so funny.

00:40:38.000 Even Fire Marshal Bill, bro, you're making fun of a fire victim.

00:40:41.000 I was just going to bring that up.

00:40:42.000 Let me tell you something.

00:40:43.000 That guy's fucking whole face is burned off.

00:40:46.000 Jesus Christ.

00:40:48.000 My daughter's a burned victim, by the way.

00:40:50.000 That's harsh, bro.

00:40:51.000 That's what you'll get.

00:40:53.000 Yeah.

00:40:54.000 It's wild that shows like that.

00:40:57.000 That one, bro.

00:40:58.000 Ahead of its time.

00:40:59.000 Oh, way ahead.

00:40:59.000 Well, so was that other movie.

00:41:01.000 We were just talking about that.

00:41:03.000 Ace Ventura.

00:41:04.000 Ace Ventura.

00:41:05.000 Yeah.

00:41:06.000 Yes.

00:41:06.000 When you find out that she's a trans person and the dick comes out and everybody starts throwing up.

00:41:12.000 First of all, I don't buy it.

00:41:19.000 Even if she hadn't turned to that photo again.

00:41:22.000 That's Shawn Young, right?

00:41:23.000 That's Shawn Young, yeah.

00:41:24.000 Yeah, when she was hot. 1.00

00:41:26.000 So even if she had a dick, there's a lot of guys who'd be like, listen, nobody needs to know about that dick.

00:41:31.000 Nobody needs to know about that, man.

00:41:32.000 That dick is between you and me. 1.00

00:41:34.000 I remember one time it happened to me, bro.

00:41:36.000 I just looked at it and went, wow, that's a big-ass skin tag you got right there. 0.95

00:41:41.000 Skin tag.

00:41:44.000 Yeah, all those shows, like, I mean, what are the other great sketch shows?

00:41:50.000 Mad TV had some bangers.

00:41:52.000 Mad TV. There were some bangers on Mad TV. But it's another show that's like...

00:41:55.000 Second City TV? I watched that growing up.

00:41:57.000 Kids in the Hall.

00:41:58.000 Kids in the Hall?

00:41:59.000 Kids in the Hall.

00:42:00.000 Kids in the Hall was fantastic.

00:42:01.000 That was great.

00:42:02.000 You know, I was a Kids in the Hall fan, but I didn't really start watching it, like, really get into it until after I'd met Dave.

00:42:11.000 Like, I didn't know much about Kids in the Hall.

00:42:14.000 I knew it was funny.

00:42:15.000 I knew everybody said it was funny, but I don't think I'd ever even watched a sketch.

00:42:18.000 And then I became friends with Dave doing news radio.

00:42:22.000 And then I started really getting into it.

00:42:24.000 I was like, oh, that guy had a very unique, or still does, have a very, very unique sense of humor.

00:42:30.000 He rewrote, like, I don't know what percentage, 40% of, like, the lines on news radio, like, on the set.

00:42:38.000 He rewrites things all the time.

00:42:39.000 And he was always, like, coming up with a better way to do something.

00:42:43.000 Always had, like, a sense of, like, a pacing.

00:42:48.000 That's a totally different thing, man, when you're making sketches.

00:42:51.000 To be able to do that and do a lot of really funny scenarios that are unique, that's a very...

00:42:59.000 It's hard to write the stand-up because we want to end it, huh?

00:43:03.000 Well, it's a totally different way of thinking.

00:43:05.000 Gillian Keeves is another fantastic one.

00:43:08.000 That, to this day, the problem with that show is it's got this amazing core fan base, but...

00:43:16.000 It's way funnier than the amount of people that have seen it.

00:43:21.000 It's way funnier, which is crazy because Shane Gillis is one of the biggest comics in the world.

00:43:25.000 Yes.

00:43:25.000 He's funny as hell.

00:43:26.000 He's one of the biggest comics on earth.

00:43:28.000 He's selling out arenas everywhere.

00:43:30.000 Yes.

00:43:30.000 But yet, people don't realize how good Gillian Keyes is.

00:43:34.000 There's the one where they do the OnlyFans dad.

00:43:36.000 It's one of the hardest I've ever laughed in my fucking life.

00:43:40.000 It's so funny.

00:43:42.000 It's so funny and so crazy, and because no one's telling them what to do, they're just doing what's funny.

00:43:48.000 And that's what got fucked up.

00:43:50.000 There were so many fucking nannies around everybody, telling everybody what you can and can't say, and so many subjects you can and can't cover. 1.00

00:43:58.000 You gotta stay out of the way, just like the managers in the early days.

00:44:02.000 Yes.

00:44:02.000 They're telling you, Felipe, you need braids.

00:44:05.000 Yes.

00:44:05.000 Braids, bro, with beads, and you talk about the beads when you're on stage.

00:44:08.000 You're like, what?

00:44:09.000 You don't wear a suit.

00:44:10.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:44:11.000 Get out of here.

00:44:12.000 I remember one time, bro, they told me to wear a suit, and I wear it, and I saw Joe Diaz wearing a suit, and I said, bro, you look ridiculous, huh?

00:44:19.000 Joe Diaz, he was wearing a beanie.

00:44:20.000 I remember I called him the Coca-Cola bear.

00:44:22.000 He got mad.

00:44:25.000 Suits are a weird move, but they're sometimes fun.

00:44:28.000 I've worn suits on stage before.

00:44:30.000 It makes you feel different.

00:44:31.000 It does.

00:44:32.000 It really does.

00:44:32.000 Do you feel like you're going to change your posture?

00:44:35.000 No, you just feel like more of a motherfucking professional.

00:44:39.000 Bitch. 1.00

00:44:40.000 Look at this.

00:44:41.000 And a well-tailored suit.

00:44:43.000 Is it what you really want?

00:44:45.000 The kind, like, modern suits, you can move in them.

00:44:48.000 Like, they have, like, stretch to them, which is different than, you know, when I was a kid and I thought of suits, I thought of, like, you're handcuffed.

00:44:55.000 Like, you can't move good.

00:44:56.000 Yeah.

00:44:56.000 Like, you can't kick someone with fucking suit pants on.

00:45:00.000 You know, you can't move well.

00:45:01.000 I know.

00:45:02.000 I always see Johnny Carson in his suits.

00:45:04.000 Yeah.

00:45:04.000 Those two suits look tight as hell.

00:45:06.000 Well, it's just, the fabrics sucked back then.

00:45:10.000 Especially if you're a bigger person, you know if you lift weights or something like that if you have muscles The everything's gonna be constricted and tight and all fucked up.

00:45:19.000 It's not gonna fit good So suits now if you get a good one like I got mine made by David August They do them for the UFC and yeah, I've had to make a bunch of suits for me.

00:45:28.000 They're they're amazing They do it to your actual shape.

00:45:32.000 I mean, I don't make fun of the other guys, but you're you're announcing You know you're a big muscle guy, but it doesn't look like you're coming out of that suit when you wear it looks real good on you Yeah, it's because they make it to your shape.

00:45:47.000 Then you go to Fox Force, man.

00:45:49.000 They're about to just come out.

00:45:50.000 They're like fucking orangutan, bro.

00:45:52.000 They're like Mr. Hyde.

00:45:56.000 Well...

00:45:56.000 You know, a lot of those dudes are bigger than me anyway.

00:46:00.000 There's a certain size that you get, like if you put the rock in a suit, it still looks ridiculous.

00:46:04.000 It's like, what the fuck are you made out of, dude?

00:46:07.000 First time I met him backstage at the UFC, and he had cowboy boots on, right?

00:46:13.000 Cowboy boots?

00:46:14.000 Yeah.

00:46:14.000 He don't even seem like a real person.

00:46:16.000 Like when you meet him in real life, you're like, what the fuck are you?

00:46:19.000 He's like a superhero.

00:46:21.000 Like you're seeing like a real live superhero.

00:46:24.000 And a super nice guy, man.

00:46:25.000 He came and worked out with us.

00:46:27.000 We all worked out.

00:46:28.000 Tony Hinchcliffe, Derek, Hassan.

00:46:30.000 We all fucking lifted weights together, hung out, got in the sauna, Shane Gillis.

00:46:35.000 We were all just chilling with The Rock, working out with him.

00:46:38.000 Like, no cameras, no nothing.

00:46:40.000 I was like, we don't have to post this.

00:46:42.000 Let's just have some fun.

00:46:43.000 It's like, fuck yeah.

00:46:44.000 He was cool as shit.

00:46:46.000 Cool as shit, man.

00:46:47.000 Wow, that's amazing, man.

00:46:49.000 It was fun.

00:46:49.000 I enjoyed talking to him.

00:46:51.000 He's a good guy.

00:46:51.000 I was in the airplane at the Delta, and I saw Jason Mamoa.

00:46:56.000 Oh, he's another one.

00:46:57.000 A little too handsome for me.

00:46:59.000 And I just said, what's up?

00:47:01.000 No, I don't know how to meet people.

00:47:03.000 I always say, weird people.

00:47:05.000 I say, Jason!

00:47:06.000 I just said, Jason!

00:47:08.000 What's up?

00:47:09.000 And then I didn't know that we were sitting almost close together on the airplane.

00:47:13.000 Then he saw me again, bro.

00:47:15.000 Then I said, what's up?

00:47:16.000 And then I felt like I creeped them out again, man.

00:47:19.000 And then my wife was recording him, bro, recording him.

00:47:23.000 But I was on my phone.

00:47:25.000 He thought I was recording him, but...

00:47:27.000 I met him in a Whole Foods parking lot.

00:47:30.000 I met him in a Whole Foods parking lot in Woodland Hills.

00:47:32.000 I was going to pick up some groceries, and he was there too.

00:47:35.000 I was like, what's up, man?

00:47:36.000 How you doing?

00:47:36.000 What's going on?

00:47:37.000 We were talking.

00:47:37.000 I think that was before he did Conan, which I still say to this day, the movie's not good.

00:47:44.000 Like, the Conan movie, it kind of falls apart, but...

00:47:47.000 The way it looked was amazing, and he played Conan, and he's the perfect Conan.

00:47:51.000 Like, that's what Conan would have looked like.

00:47:53.000 He wouldn't have looked like a bodybuilder.

00:47:55.000 No disrespect to Arnold, because he looked amazing.

00:47:57.000 But it's like Conan was just a big giant warrior.

00:48:00.000 And when he played that guy, what was the guy he played on Game of Thrones?

00:48:05.000 Crackle or something like that.

00:48:06.000 I can't remember.

00:48:07.000 He was fucking incredible at that.

00:48:09.000 He played with them.

00:48:10.000 That's Conan, man.

00:48:11.000 Yeah.

00:48:11.000 That's Conan.

00:48:12.000 Someone needs to do a good Conan the Barbarian movie.

00:48:16.000 Go back and read the Robert E. Howard books.

00:48:19.000 The books are great.

00:48:20.000 It's this super depressed dude in like the 1930s.

00:48:25.000 There he is.

00:48:25.000 Writes about this barbarian.

00:48:26.000 Yeah.

00:48:28.000 Khal Drogo.

00:48:29.000 That's right.

00:48:29.000 There we are.

00:48:30.000 Two people I get mistaken by.

00:48:31.000 Bro, get a photo of him when he was Conan.

00:48:35.000 Jason Momoa as Conan.

00:48:39.000 Bro, he's the perfect Conan.

00:48:41.000 Right there.

00:48:41.000 That's what Conan's supposed to look like.

00:48:43.000 That's how I'm supposed to look, too.

00:48:45.000 That's the perfect Conan.

00:48:46.000 That's the Conan you believe is real.

00:48:48.000 That's a guy throwing a sword around his whole life and fighting off dragons.

00:48:52.000 He's not a bodybuilder.

00:48:54.000 No.

00:48:54.000 He looks like that.

00:48:55.000 That's what it looks like in the book.

00:48:57.000 Like, that's fucking Conan.

00:48:58.000 We're identical.

00:48:59.000 That's Conan.

00:49:01.000 I mean, the guy's still capable of playing this character.

00:49:05.000 Someone, please!

00:49:06.000 Me!

00:49:07.000 I wish Quentin Tarantino was into Conan.

00:49:09.000 Quentin, if you're hearing me, please read the books.

00:49:12.000 Quentin Tarantino doing Conan would be the most epic thing of all time.

00:49:17.000 Could you imagine?

00:49:18.000 He would do it right.

00:49:20.000 Or Beastmaster.

00:49:20.000 If he was into it, he would have to be into it.

00:49:23.000 I have no idea if he's into it.

00:49:25.000 But if he was into it...

00:49:26.000 If Quentin Tarantino might do it...

00:49:29.000 Somebody should do it.

00:49:30.000 It'll start with the ending.

00:49:32.000 It'll be like the ending of the movie in the beginning and confuse us.

00:49:35.000 Somebody should do it.

00:49:37.000 The books are great, man, because it's all from the mind of this tortured, depressed dude who winds up killing himself.

00:49:45.000 It'll be the first time that you see a Conan movie with everybody saying the N-word over and over.

00:49:52.000 I don't think they had that word back then.

00:49:53.000 I think if you want to do it right, they'll make one up.

00:49:56.000 I think if they really wanted to do it right, they should probably do it the way Mel Gibson did Apocalypto.

00:50:01.000 That was a badass fucking movie, bro.

00:50:03.000 You felt that movie, bro.

00:50:04.000 Right, but you know what I'm saying?

00:50:06.000 Hearing the people say it, and the same thing he did with The Passion of the Christ.

00:50:10.000 They spoke in the language.

00:50:12.000 And it was all subtitles.

00:50:14.000 Like, they spoke in the language, so you were transmitted exactly how these people were sent.

00:50:21.000 You felt like it was real.

00:50:22.000 Like, Apocalypto, you felt like it was real.

00:50:25.000 Like, there was no English in that movie.

00:50:27.000 It is a blockbuster movie that is a wild action-adventure movie.

00:50:32.000 That one was hardcore, man.

00:50:33.000 Passion of the Christ.

00:50:34.000 Yes.

00:50:35.000 There's something about being sucked into hearing the actual language of the people that would be doing this that's so much better than...

00:50:41.000 Because whenever they do Game of Thrones or something like that in another country, all of a sudden everybody has an English accent.

00:50:47.000 Yes.

00:50:48.000 That's how they do it.

00:50:49.000 Instead of talking like an American, you can't talk like us because that would just throw people off. 0.92

00:50:53.000 So you have to have some sort of a proper way of speaking.

00:50:56.000 Kind of like the exorcist, man.

00:50:57.000 Like if the exorcist, the devil...

00:50:59.000 It would have had an Irish accent.

00:51:00.000 It would have been a totally different movie.

00:51:02.000 But the Latin accent, the whatever Latin language.

00:51:06.000 Right, right, right.

00:51:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:51:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:51:10.000 Fuck, yeah.

00:51:11.000 Exactly.

00:51:12.000 You don't even know what the language is, but you're fucking scared.

00:51:14.000 Right, it has to be exotic.

00:51:15.000 You can't have the devil going, hey, you fucking piece of shit.

00:51:18.000 I'm going to fuck your eyeballs. 1.00

00:51:20.000 You better get out of my garage.

00:51:21.000 Yeah, you can't have the devil talking like...

00:51:25.000 Jerry Seinfeld.

00:51:26.000 I speak in absolutes!

00:51:27.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 You can't have the devil with a whiny voice.

00:51:30.000 Or a Boston accent.

00:51:32.000 That was the scariest thing about Mike Tyson.

00:51:34.000 His voice that was so easy to make fun of, and he fucking murdered everybody.

00:51:38.000 It was almost like he was begging you to make fun of his voice.

00:51:45.000 Dangerous dudes.

00:51:46.000 Yeah, it was almost like he was begging you.

00:51:49.000 You're like you, bro.

00:51:50.000 You're like one of those guys.

00:51:52.000 You're like, to someone that doesn't know you personally, you're like, try me.

00:51:57.000 No, I'm not like that at all, though.

00:51:59.000 I'm real nice.

00:51:59.000 If I didn't know you and I saw you walking down the street and you're not Joe Rogan, I'd be like, okay, man, this guy's a good fight.

00:52:06.000 He's healthy.

00:52:07.000 Stay away from him.

00:52:08.000 I'm friendly.

00:52:10.000 That's what we all need, my friend.

00:52:11.000 We need friendly.

00:52:12.000 But you've been friendly since day one, though.

00:52:15.000 I was talking to the driver, Rebel, about when you gave me that solo pipe.

00:52:24.000 And then you say you started using it because of butane.

00:52:28.000 Yeah.

00:52:29.000 And I remember I was telling you that the reason it's called solo pipe is because you're supposed to use it by yourself.

00:52:36.000 But I remember I told everybody you gave it to me and everybody wanted to hit it.

00:52:40.000 And by the time I got it back, it was fucking hot.

00:52:43.000 Yeah.

00:52:44.000 I remember those things.

00:52:45.000 I try to stay...

00:52:46.000 I think if you're smoking a cigar, butane is the way to go.

00:52:51.000 You burn the end of it, but you don't want to keep doing it.

00:52:54.000 I feel like a certain amount of this is a chemical, no matter what.

00:52:58.000 That's a chemical.

00:52:59.000 You only want so much of that.

00:53:01.000 You really should probably have matches if you're going to smoke a cigar.

00:53:05.000 Matches?

00:53:06.000 Yeah, you should really probably have matches.

00:53:08.000 And I think if you're like a super cigar nerd, they do it even further.

00:53:11.000 They take cedar and they light cedar strips and they use that to light their cigar.

00:53:17.000 Those are super nerds.

00:53:19.000 Cedar strips?

00:53:20.000 What is that?

00:53:20.000 Cedar strips, dawg.

00:53:21.000 Pieces of wood.

00:53:22.000 They light little strips of wood and they light from pure wood, then they light their cigar.

00:53:28.000 There's super nerds when it comes to cigars. 0.89

00:53:31.000 Oh, that's what that guy said in New York.

00:53:35.000 Give me some ember.

00:53:37.000 Give me some ember?

00:53:39.000 Ember?

00:53:40.000 What is ember? 0.62

00:53:42.000 Fire?

00:53:43.000 Oh.

00:53:44.000 Oh, shit!

00:53:45.000 Yeah, so these guys, they take little cedar strips and they light them on fire and they light their cigar from the cedar strips.

00:53:52.000 So this way you're not getting any of the butane fumes.

00:53:56.000 I don't even know how much you would get.

00:53:59.000 I don't, you know.

00:54:02.000 Get better later?

00:54:03.000 Yeah, sure.

00:54:04.000 You know how to work it?

00:54:05.000 No.

00:54:05.000 Think back.

00:54:06.000 We're probably going to find out that every time you burn a lighter near you, you inhale like 10 times more than you're ever supposed to in your life.

00:54:18.000 We'll probably find something like that out someday.

00:54:22.000 It can't be so good to have convenient fire.

00:54:26.000 Fire that quickly means you've got some funky gases that you're burning.

00:54:32.000 You're burning some funky gases in the air.

00:54:36.000 Oh, horrible.

00:54:37.000 Because I remember we're lighting a match and you get the ugly-ass fuel.

00:54:40.000 You know what's real bad?

00:54:40.000 What?

00:54:41.000 Scented candles.

00:54:43.000 Scented candles apparently are not healthy.

00:54:47.000 Jamie, Google that.

00:54:50.000 Maybe I should say some scented candles.

00:54:52.000 Maybe there's a way to do it organically.

00:54:55.000 We should find out if that's true, too.

00:54:57.000 Because that would be a good thing to know.

00:54:58.000 Because I think there's some things in some scented candles that you're not supposed to inhale.

00:55:04.000 And when you're a person that likes to have candles, and who doesn't?

00:55:09.000 They're cool.

00:55:10.000 You want to have candles in your house?

00:55:11.000 That's dope. 0.93

00:55:11.000 Like candlelight dinner with a bunch of friends? 0.93

00:55:14.000 That's dope. 0.93

00:55:15.000 Right?

00:55:16.000 But I think it's the scented ones.

00:55:18.000 It says it's the ones that are made from paraffin.

00:55:20.000 The ones that are made from paraffin are the problem.

00:55:23.000 It's a cheap byproduct primarily sourced from the refinement of petroleum.

00:55:27.000 So you're burning petroleum.

00:55:29.000 Paraffin is the most used candle wax worldwide, according to the National Candle Association, the major trade association representing U.S. candle manufacturers and their suppliers.

00:55:39.000 So it's all candles made from paraffin?

00:55:42.000 However, few studies on candle emissions or their potential effects on human health exist, and conclusions from the research are mixed.

00:55:51.000 There is no overall conclusion that paraffin candles either will or won't harm your health, says pulmonologist Dr. Sobia Farouk, a clinical assistant professor at the Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of Medicine.

00:56:06.000 But the risk may also depend on various factors including candle type and quality How often and how long you're burning it the airflow in the space where you're burning it your health status and more well These you either is not good for you or Or it's fine.

00:56:22.000 These are the options.

00:56:24.000 And it seems to me like there's a little gaslighting going on here.

00:56:26.000 Like, how could it be good for you to have petroleum burning in your house?

00:56:30.000 I want you to show me a study that's, like, measure the fucking air in the room when you have three candles.

00:56:38.000 Measure the air in the room when you have four candles.

00:56:40.000 Keep going.

00:56:41.000 Tell me when I'm gonna get lung cancer from this shit.

00:56:46.000 Because...

00:56:46.000 Wow.

00:56:47.000 Yeah.

00:56:48.000 Benzene, a known carcinogen, is another VOC released by paraffin candles.

00:56:55.000 Hawk added, long-term exposure to this chemical has been linked to blood disorders such as leukemia.

00:57:01.000 When inhaled, benzene can also be a respiratory irritant.

00:57:06.000 Which means it could probably...

00:57:08.000 Yeah.

00:57:09.000 Fuck.

00:57:11.000 Fuck.

00:57:11.000 People think candles are cool.

00:57:13.000 Oh, man.

00:57:14.000 But what is a candle that you can use?

00:57:19.000 There's got to be candles that are not bad.

00:57:22.000 I hope all those candles that I've got in a massage parlor were safe.

00:57:25.000 New candle.

00:57:26.000 Oh, now.

00:57:27.000 Candles made from soy wax, beeswax, or stearin.

00:57:31.000 Coconut oil or animal fats are often considered healthier, but anything that is burned emits harmful particulates or chemicals, Evan said.

00:57:40.000 So these candles also release VOCs into the air.

00:57:43.000 It's just that paraffin wax is usually more polluting, according to...

00:57:46.000 Oh, great.

00:57:47.000 So they all suck.

00:57:48.000 The risk of toxic emissions is greater when candles are scented or dyed, which is another reason why paraffin-free candles aren't immediately in the clear.

00:57:56.000 This is because artificial fragrances have VOCs, including phthalates, which have been linked to learning and behavior problems, obesity, impaired development of the reproductive systems and more.

00:58:08.000 Evan said the unscented candle in the 2015 research also caused concerning concentrations of toxins, but had the lowest amount compared with its scented counterparts.

00:58:19.000 Yeah, by what ratio?

00:58:21.000 I wonder how much lower.

00:58:24.000 Oh, the National Candle Association maintains that candles are safe for use in the home, a spokesperson said in a statement.

00:58:34.000 First of all, you can't totally say anything's safe.

00:58:38.000 Because I was dating a girl once and she burnt her fucking house down with candles. 1.00

00:58:44.000 That's exaggerating.

00:58:45.000 She burnt a wall in her house.

00:58:48.000 What was she doing?

00:58:48.000 She just let her candles.

00:58:50.000 Burned down.

00:58:51.000 And something caught fire.

00:58:52.000 And it lit the side of her fucking bedroom hall. 0.70

00:58:55.000 Her wall was on fire.

00:58:58.000 She liked handles.

00:59:00.000 So they're not totally safe.

00:59:01.000 It's fire.

00:59:02.000 Fire's not totally safe.

00:59:04.000 Fucking lighters aren't totally safe.

00:59:05.000 You can't say it's safe.

00:59:08.000 You could definitely do something stupid with it.

00:59:11.000 You know what's safe?

00:59:12.000 Marshmallows.

00:59:14.000 Marshmallows are safe.

00:59:15.000 It's not good to eat.

00:59:17.000 They're bad for your body, but they're fucking safe.

00:59:19.000 They're not gonna kill you.

00:59:21.000 I'll let you burn them to make s'mores with a lighter and a fork.

00:59:25.000 You know what's supposed to be really bad for you?

00:59:26.000 Paper straws.

00:59:28.000 Paper straws have those forever chemicals in them.

00:59:30.000 See if that's true.

00:59:32.000 Otherwise, we'll have to cut this out without getting sued by the paper straw industry.

00:59:37.000 Oh, speaking of straws, right?

00:59:40.000 Everybody knows that paper straws came around because everybody saw that video of that turtle with that straw in its nose.

00:59:46.000 That's the only reason why we started looking at paper straws different than everything else, right?

00:59:51.000 Paper or plastic?

00:59:53.000 Plastic.

00:59:54.000 Okay.

00:59:55.000 Plastic straws came about.

00:59:56.000 Did I say paper?

00:59:57.000 Plastic straws came about because of that video of that turtle with the plastic straw in his nose, right?

01:00:03.000 Remember that?

01:00:04.000 Yeah.

01:00:05.000 That was it.

01:00:05.000 It was in the nose, right?

01:00:06.000 Yeah, deep, deep in the turtle's nose.

01:00:08.000 New studies found that 90% of paper straws tested contained forever chemicals.

01:00:14.000 Or PFAS compared to 75% of plastic straws.

01:00:19.000 So even plastic straws have those fucking chemicals in them. 0.70

01:00:22.000 But it's even worse for you to use paper straws.

01:00:25.000 Paper straws assessed by researchers at University of Antwerp, Belgium, were found to contain more forever chemicals per polyfluoralkyl.

01:00:36.000 How do you say that?

01:00:37.000 Give it a shot, Philippe.

01:00:40.000 Polyfluoralkyl.

01:00:41.000 Yeah.

01:00:42.000 Substances or PFASs than plastic.

01:00:44.000 But all of them are bad for you.

01:00:46.000 What it's basically saying is that even straws, 75% of plastic straws have tested that they contain forever chemicals.

01:00:55.000 That's not good.

01:00:56.000 So all of it's bad.

01:00:58.000 We should probably abandon the idea of straws.

01:01:00.000 I like McDonald's straws, the big fat one.

01:01:02.000 Here's what you don't want.

01:01:03.000 A metal straw and a Stanley and then fall on your face.

01:01:06.000 Oh, fuck that.

01:01:07.000 Because people have done that.

01:01:08.000 Idiots.

01:01:09.000 Well, listen, I've fallen before.

01:01:11.000 Oh, you know somebody?

01:01:12.000 No, but I've fallen before.

01:01:14.000 I'm an idiot.

01:01:15.000 With a straw?

01:01:15.000 No, I haven't, but I would imagine.

01:01:18.000 Just because you fall with a straw doesn't mean you're an idiot.

01:01:22.000 But people...

01:01:24.000 Got to be aware that that's basically a metal shank that's going to go right through your face if you trip.

01:01:31.000 You got to carry that thing if you're clumsy, like as if you're carrying a knife.

01:01:35.000 Move it away from your body.

01:01:38.000 Don't catch your body with it if you fall down and then stab yourself in the face.

01:01:42.000 I know, man.

01:01:42.000 You wouldn't let your baby hold that while you're holding it.

01:01:45.000 Yeah.

01:01:45.000 Yeah, why are you holding that?

01:01:47.000 You're not ready for that yet.

01:01:47.000 You ain't ready.

01:01:48.000 Well, especially if you're clumsy.

01:01:50.000 Clumsy people should really know they're clumsy and be super careful with what they're carrying.

01:01:54.000 Are you clumsy?

01:01:55.000 Yeah, man.

01:01:56.000 Don't carry a rake.

01:01:57.000 I was outside over there going, I was holding that baseball.

01:02:00.000 And I'm holding that baseball and I'm looking at the werewolf and I'm thinking, I'm looking at my wife.

01:02:06.000 I bet you I could throw a knuckleball and make it right in the fucking werewolf's mouth. 1.00

01:02:11.000 You're going to fuck something up.

01:02:12.000 Sit down.

01:02:14.000 Yeah, don't fuck up my werewolf, bro.

01:02:16.000 That's one of my prized possessions.

01:02:18.000 And even if you could hit it, what does that prove?

01:02:21.000 Don't want to break the werewolf's teeth.

01:02:22.000 What are you trying to prove, Felipe?

01:02:25.000 I still could throw a knuckleball.

01:02:26.000 Were you a good baseball player?

01:02:27.000 Hell no.

01:02:28.000 No?

01:02:29.000 But you had a good knuckleball?

01:02:29.000 Or no?

01:02:30.000 No, I was good at playing streetball with a tennis ball.

01:02:33.000 And I had a good junk on a tennis ball.

01:02:36.000 And we would put over a regular fastball.

01:02:38.000 And I had to make that shit.

01:02:39.000 Man, that was good.

01:02:40.000 Dude, we used to play stickball in the street.

01:02:43.000 That was fun.

01:02:44.000 We're kids.

01:02:45.000 I don't get that game.

01:02:46.000 I Wikipedia'd the other day to learn how to play because they're having a stickball tournament in New York last week when I was there.

01:02:53.000 Yeah, that's the video I saw.

01:02:55.000 Yeah.

01:02:56.000 They were having a tournament.

01:02:58.000 Other veterans that used to play stickball in New York showed up to play.

01:03:01.000 Oh, we slid on concrete, bro.

01:03:04.000 But I never knew the game because in LA we play over the line.

01:03:08.000 That's a good way to get a staph infection. 0.65

01:03:10.000 Look at that, bro.

01:03:11.000 Sliding on concrete.

01:03:12.000 Good way.

01:03:13.000 They're getting pumped.

01:03:15.000 That looks like a guy who plays really good stickball.

01:03:17.000 Terror squad.

01:03:19.000 Yeah, it's a city thing.

01:03:22.000 A rule stick, right?

01:03:23.000 When I lived in Jamaica Plain, which is a little place outside of Boston, we played that.

01:03:30.000 We should play stickball on the street.

01:03:32.000 People get mad at you, hit their car with a tennis ball.

01:03:34.000 It was stupid.

01:03:36.000 But kids are just always looking for something to do back then.

01:03:38.000 Now they're all online.

01:03:39.000 I used to play crazy games growing up, bro, that I'm pretty sure kids don't play that anymore.

01:03:44.000 I used to play this game called Huevos, which is called Eggs.

01:03:47.000 We used to put a bunch of holes on the floor with your name on it, and then somebody would throw a tennis ball.

01:03:54.000 And wherever the ball lands in that hole, that person has to grab that ball and fuck somebody up in the back before they make it to the wall. 0.96

01:04:03.000 And that person you hit has to grab that ball and then hit people on the way back before they get to the other side of the wall.

01:04:10.000 And if you miss everybody, you get an egg on your little hole.

01:04:14.000 And once you get four of them, we all take turns fucking you up with a tennis ball while you're just standing there like this.

01:04:20.000 Jesus Christ.

01:04:21.000 Yeah, there was no cable back then.

01:04:24.000 And we didn't want to join gangs.

01:04:26.000 I think you did.

01:04:28.000 And we didn't want to read.

01:04:28.000 I think you guys had a softcore gang.

01:04:30.000 We didn't have no Boy Scouts.

01:04:34.000 That's a crazy way to make friends.

01:04:37.000 You guys ever play Suicide, though?

01:04:39.000 I don't remember.

01:04:40.000 How's it go?

01:04:41.000 It's a handball court, a wall, and you throw a ball.

01:04:45.000 And there's five kids.

01:04:46.000 And you catch it.

01:04:47.000 But if you miss it, everybody starts fucking you up.

01:04:51.000 No, I never played that.

01:04:51.000 So you make it to the wall.

01:04:52.000 No, I never played that.

01:05:00.000 Suicide!

01:05:02.000 Everybody stands by the wall and you throw the ball against the wall and you try to catch it.

01:05:06.000 And if you miss, they fucking jump you until you get to the wall with the ball.

01:05:13.000 Fuck that.

01:05:14.000 You got videos of it, James?

01:05:18.000 Oh my God.

01:05:19.000 Oh my God.

01:05:21.000 Requires at least two players.

01:05:24.000 Can have as many as can be accommodated by the playing area.

01:05:28.000 But this is funny when they take a game like this and they break it down.

01:05:31.000 Like, these are the rules.

01:05:32.000 We did play wall ball.

01:05:33.000 We called it wall ball.

01:05:34.000 Did you do it like that?

01:05:36.000 It was honestly, yeah.

01:05:36.000 So if you fucked up, you'd have to stay on the wall.

01:05:39.000 People could throw the ball at you.

01:05:40.000 There it is.

01:05:41.000 Right there.

01:05:41.000 They're fucking them up.

01:05:42.000 Wall ball.

01:05:43.000 Until the player touches the wall, they are open to be pegged, struck hard with a thrown ball by the player who caught it.

01:05:49.000 If a player comes into contact with the ball but fails to catch it, they are also open to be pegged.

01:05:55.000 I mean, that's what it is.

01:05:57.000 It's a tough word to use, but that's what it is.

01:05:59.000 Getting hit by a tennis ball is a good thing to get hit by, though, right?

01:06:02.000 It sucks.

01:06:03.000 Like, if someone's throwing it, it sucks.

01:06:05.000 But it's not going to kill you.

01:06:06.000 There's always this asshole kid that didn't like that kid that was going to get hit, and he'll put that fucking ball in a shitload of water and mud.

01:06:12.000 Oh, that's a problem.

01:06:14.000 He's cheating.

01:06:15.000 He can't cheat.

01:06:17.000 Oh, also, remember, if that person that's supposed to get hit by the ball runs home, we'll fucking chase him home or beat him up in front of his mom.

01:06:30.000 Boy, that's why cable is important.

01:06:32.000 Yes, that's why the internet is important, YouTube.

01:06:35.000 We've got to keep people pacified.

01:06:37.000 TikTok saved your life!

01:06:38.000 Imagine if it did.

01:06:39.000 Imagine if it saved a few lives.

01:06:41.000 People just at home scrolling instead of out gangbanging.

01:06:46.000 You know, I mean, everybody gets addicted to it.

01:06:50.000 If you just don't go out and do terrible things because you're just scrolling and staring at your TikTok.

01:06:56.000 I know, man.

01:06:57.000 I wonder if kids do shoplift for fun.

01:06:59.000 I bet they do.

01:07:00.000 You know, there's been, like, famous people that have been caught shoplifting.

01:07:03.000 I think a lot of people who shoplift...

01:07:05.000 You shoplifted when you were little?

01:07:06.000 I did.

01:07:06.000 You were hungry?

01:07:07.000 No, no, no.

01:07:08.000 I was just...

01:07:09.000 Dumb and young and I got caught.

01:07:12.000 You don't do it now, right?

01:07:13.000 No.

01:07:14.000 Is it a UT opportunity?

01:07:15.000 No, no, no, no.

01:07:16.000 I did it like a couple times.

01:07:17.000 It was like candy bars and shit.

01:07:19.000 I was just hanging around with a bunch of bad kids and we would do that.

01:07:22.000 It was a thrill.

01:07:24.000 You'd go to a store and steal something.

01:07:26.000 And I think we probably did it two or three times and I got caught.

01:07:30.000 I don't do it anymore.

01:07:32.000 I felt so stupid.

01:07:33.000 I know.

01:07:34.000 But sometimes I'm walking around.

01:07:36.000 And I see like a pack of donuts.

01:07:39.000 But they're far from where donuts are.

01:07:42.000 They're by the shoe and they're open.

01:07:45.000 And I'm like, I'm all high looking at the donut.

01:07:47.000 Damn, you're lost.

01:07:50.000 Joey Diaz used to swipe lighters from 7-Eleven just to stay sharp.

01:07:56.000 He had money.

01:07:57.000 He had money.

01:07:59.000 He would swipe lighters.

01:08:01.000 Just to stay on his toes.

01:08:03.000 How you doing, brother?

01:08:06.000 I saw him do that while he's talking to the guy and he put his knickers.

01:08:10.000 Yeah, he's got some hand movements to distract you.

01:08:13.000 I think that was a gay man that road commies would do, bro, on the way to a gig who could shoplift the most shit out of the gas station. 1.00

01:08:22.000 That's not good for our reputation.

01:08:25.000 That's not good for our reputation.

01:08:26.000 What'd you get?

01:08:27.000 Power bars.

01:08:27.000 Traveling entertainers.

01:08:29.000 What'd you get?

01:08:29.000 Power bars.

01:08:31.000 Gas station food, man.

01:08:33.000 Those times when you're on the road and all you're eating is garbage.

01:08:36.000 Hell yeah, man.

01:08:37.000 You gotta buy a grilled cheese there and put pork rinds in there from the package.

01:08:41.000 You gotta take a chance with the bean and cheese burrito that you microwave.

01:08:44.000 You have to open that strip of plastic.

01:08:47.000 Those were good, though.

01:08:49.000 When you were hungry.

01:08:50.000 Ramona's.

01:08:51.000 Every now and then, you've got good food at a gas station.

01:08:54.000 You're like, why doesn't everybody do this?

01:08:56.000 Sometimes you go to a gas station, and it's like a gas station, but it's also like a taco spot.

01:09:00.000 Fried chicken, cheeseburgers.

01:09:02.000 You're like, damn, that looks like a legit fucking cheeseburger.

01:09:06.000 Okay.

01:09:07.000 Where am I? This place is dangerous here.

01:09:10.000 I mean, you would make more money, right?

01:09:11.000 That's what Bucky's figured out.

01:09:13.000 You go, whatever the fuck you want.

01:09:15.000 We got it, dude.

01:09:15.000 We got barbecue, pickled dicks.

01:09:17.000 Let's go.

01:09:18.000 We got eggs, cheese, milk.

01:09:20.000 You can buy a house.

01:09:23.000 You can buy a fucking sled.

01:09:25.000 What do you need?

01:09:26.000 You need fishing poles?

01:09:27.000 You need a hamburger?

01:09:28.000 What else?

01:09:29.000 Yeah, you need a Yeti cooler and a Traeger grill.

01:09:31.000 We got those.

01:09:32.000 We got a shower in a bag if you want a shower.

01:09:34.000 They're making a Disney Buc-ee's and it's going to have rides.

01:09:37.000 You know, there's a lawsuit going on with Buc-ee's. 0.99

01:09:40.000 They're claiming that these people copied their logo.

01:09:43.000 Which one?

01:09:44.000 Chuckie's?

01:09:44.000 No, there's another spot that has another kind of an animal.

01:09:48.000 Yeah, they do that with all...

01:09:49.000 They knock off...

01:09:50.000 Wherever that is, they knock off all sorts of stores.

01:09:52.000 I'll try to find that.

01:09:53.000 Is it in another country?

01:09:55.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:09:55.000 Oh, I thought it was in America.

01:09:58.000 Yeah, it's in Mexico.

01:09:59.000 Really?

01:10:00.000 Oh, interesting.

01:10:01.000 Oh, Mexico loves to do that. 1.00

01:10:02.000 Because there's a fake...

01:10:03.000 Oh, I've seen that.

01:10:03.000 No, no, no.

01:10:04.000 I've seen that.

01:10:04.000 That's not it, though.

01:10:05.000 That's the fake Buc-ee's in Mexico. 1.00

01:10:08.000 Put that picture up again.

01:10:09.000 Put that picture up again.

01:10:11.000 Oh, my God.

01:10:14.000 There's a fake In-N-Out in Mexico, too.

01:10:17.000 Oh, that's so funny, man.

01:10:19.000 And there's a fake In-N-Out in California, too.

01:10:21.000 Yeah, I've seen the fake In-N-Out in Mexico.

01:10:22.000 There's a fake one in California?

01:10:23.000 Yeah, it's called Easy Takeout, and I think they used to be...

01:10:26.000 Same uniforms, same stand.

01:10:31.000 Same burgers, but they just added a breakfast burger.

01:10:34.000 It's called Easy Takeout in West Covina.

01:10:37.000 Wow.

01:10:38.000 So they copied the logo?

01:10:40.000 This is very similar here.

01:10:41.000 Oh, Lucky's!

01:10:42.000 Lucky's, but this is what the lawsuit is about.

01:10:44.000 Same city, Temple Lupus, Mexico.

01:10:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:47.000 They even got a little gap in between it.

01:10:49.000 Bucky's knockout, Lucky's spotted.

01:10:52.000 He's lucky to have two teeth.

01:10:54.000 But that's the one in Mexico, right, Jamie?

01:10:55.000 They both?

01:10:56.000 I told you, they both are.

01:10:57.000 I don't think this other one is in Mexico.

01:11:00.000 I might be wrong.

01:11:02.000 A month ago, two months ago, Bucky's taking legal action against Mexican competition.

01:11:05.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:11:06.000 It's the one thing that came up by, like, I was looking a little further.

01:11:08.000 Oh, okay.

01:11:08.000 Well, what was that animal?

01:11:10.000 That was like a...

01:11:11.000 The Bucky's is a beaver, right?

01:11:14.000 So what was that other animal?

01:11:15.000 It was the Lucky.

01:11:16.000 Who's Lucky?

01:11:17.000 Is Lucky a rabbit?

01:11:18.000 Like, what is Lucky?

01:11:19.000 Lucky is also a beaver.

01:11:21.000 Oh my god.

01:11:23.000 He has a pompadour, though, right?

01:11:25.000 Let me see.

01:11:25.000 Where's Lucky's?

01:11:28.000 What a bunch of dumbasses.

01:11:30.000 Oh my god, it is a beaver.

01:11:32.000 What is it?

01:11:33.000 Oh, he's a raccoon.

01:11:35.000 Oh, it's a raccoon.

01:11:36.000 Oh, okay.

01:11:38.000 No, you can't do that.

01:11:39.000 He's a mask, man.

01:11:40.000 He's a bandito.

01:11:42.000 Why can't you do that, though?

01:11:44.000 Why can't you have Harry's?

01:11:45.000 Or how about George's and have Curious George?

01:11:48.000 They could, you know, get together, a little franchise.

01:11:53.000 Curious George.

01:11:53.000 Everybody loves Curious George.

01:11:55.000 Would that be okay?

01:11:56.000 Like, if they have George's?

01:11:57.000 Would they get sued?

01:11:58.000 They have a different lawsuit.

01:12:00.000 Let's see.

01:12:01.000 There is a different lawsuit.

01:12:03.000 Superfuel's trademark infringement.

01:12:05.000 Let me see.

01:12:06.000 Could you imagine if, like, the owners, whoever owns the...

01:12:09.000 Yeah, this is even...

01:12:09.000 This is a little different.

01:12:10.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:12:11.000 Because it's like a...

01:12:12.000 Oh, that's it.

01:12:13.000 That's the one I saw.

01:12:14.000 Superfuels.

01:12:16.000 So it's just they're saying it's because it's got a smiling animal.

01:12:20.000 And the red hat.

01:12:21.000 See, I don't know.

01:12:22.000 I'm not on board with that one.

01:12:23.000 I'm trying to see what they're trying to...

01:12:25.000 I'm not on board with that one.

01:12:26.000 I can't think that you could own the idea of having any kind of cute animal as a part of your logo.

01:12:34.000 That seems kind of ridiculous.

01:12:35.000 I don't understand copyright law, but doesn't that seem like a little ridiculous to you?

01:12:39.000 Yeah.

01:12:40.000 What if it's a cat and you make it kitties and you have a cute little cat?

01:12:46.000 Are you telling me that I can't make a business called kitties?

01:12:50.000 That depends where you're doing business at and how much of a copyright you have.

01:12:54.000 Is it nationwide?

01:12:56.000 Did you have an international copyright, which is really tough?

01:12:58.000 Right, but is that a copyright infringement if you have kitties?

01:13:01.000 It depends on what...

01:13:02.000 If you're not doing the same business...

01:13:03.000 Imagine someone has a copyright to the ability...

01:13:07.000 I don't understand any of this stuff.

01:13:10.000 Clearly, I'm talking out of my ass.

01:13:11.000 But imagine if somebody has a copyright to just owning the ability to use a cartoon character in your logo.

01:13:19.000 That seems completely insane, doesn't it?

01:13:22.000 Yeah.

01:13:22.000 But what's his name?

01:13:24.000 This is Comedy Club and Tommy Tease.

01:13:27.000 He used to have the Laurel and Hardy logos.

01:13:33.000 Laurel and Hardy?

01:13:34.000 Yeah, and for his comedy club.

01:13:36.000 And he got sued by Bozo the Clown.

01:13:41.000 He owned the...

01:13:42.000 Bozo owned Laurel and Hardy?

01:13:44.000 Yeah, the cartoon.

01:13:47.000 Anything that you put cartoon on it with Laurel and Hardy's face.

01:13:51.000 Imagine going back, watching Laurel Hardy.

01:13:54.000 Imagine showing somebody that had no idea about American culture at all.

01:13:58.000 Yes.

01:13:58.000 Going back, and you show them Laurel Hardy, and then right after, you show them Chappelle's show when Dave plays the blind white supremacist that's black.

01:14:09.000 Yeah, that guy.

01:14:10.000 But imagine!

01:14:12.000 Imagine seeing, like, what...

01:14:15.000 This is what comedy started out as, and this is comedy later.

01:14:20.000 That is a wild ride.

01:14:23.000 Yes, man.

01:14:24.000 That's a wild ride.

01:14:25.000 The ride from Abbott and Costello.

01:14:28.000 Yes.

01:14:28.000 Who's on first?

01:14:29.000 Who's on for Eddie Cantor, bro.

01:14:32.000 Who's Eddie Cantor?

01:14:33.000 Eddie Cantor was the first comedian to do radio.

01:14:36.000 And he was, because I have a history for Fools podcast, so I learned about the history of stand-up comedy.

01:14:44.000 Plus, I read that, I watched the documentary, but he was one of the first guys, but he was very clean, bro.

01:14:50.000 He sang, and...

01:14:52.000 Can we hear some of this?

01:14:53.000 We'll hear some of this.

01:14:59.000 He was getting paid $500 for five minute shows on radio.

01:15:08.000 Yeah, he can't.

01:15:10.000 He was the first guy to have a radio comedy show.

01:15:15.000 I'm trying to hear what he's saying.

01:15:16.000 What is he saying?

01:15:18.000 He's thinking.

01:15:19.000 some vaudeville nonsense the dumb ones know how to make love Yeah. 0.99

01:15:36.000 Jesus Christ.

01:15:39.000 The dumb ones know how to make love.

01:15:41.000 That sounds like something Theo would say on stage.

01:15:44.000 I like them dumb.

01:15:47.000 He'll be on the radio, bro, talking, and then he'll pinch the chicks. 0.99

01:15:51.000 In their butts.

01:15:53.000 Oh, God.

01:15:53.000 Yeah, and then, like, they wouldn't say nothing.

01:15:55.000 Then finally a woman said something, Mr. Cantor!

01:15:59.000 And he had a fire.

01:16:02.000 Well, gotta remember, like, people back then were basically barbarians.

01:16:07.000 Yeah.

01:16:08.000 1920s people?

01:16:09.000 Bro, back then it was...

01:16:10.000 It's World War I, bro.

01:16:11.000 Back then, for a stand-up comedian, like, when I found out was...

01:16:14.000 Imagine you do a gig.

01:16:16.000 $200 back then, right?

01:16:17.000 And the promoter says...

01:16:19.000 The gangsters, I'm not gonna pay you.

01:16:22.000 And you don't get paid, and they'll call the cops.

01:16:24.000 You have three vagrants walking around downtown, and then you're three comedians walking around town with no hotel, no pay, and they're gonna pick you up for being a hobo now. 0.99

01:16:34.000 Yeah, you could get stiffed, for sure.

01:16:37.000 But that was back then, bro.

01:16:38.000 That was a hard time.

01:16:39.000 Imagine from then to now.

01:16:42.000 Well, I think there's probably still a lot of shit games like that out there for a lot of guys that are coming up.

01:16:48.000 But it's just now there's more real gigs.

01:16:50.000 Yeah, better gigs.

01:16:52.000 Well, comedy is more accessible because of YouTube and everything.

01:16:58.000 Comedy is just way out.

01:16:59.000 It's everywhere.

01:17:00.000 Everywhere.

01:17:00.000 Like your special.

01:17:01.000 Wow, tell everybody.

01:17:02.000 Oh, I have a special right now.

01:17:03.000 What a segue.

01:17:04.000 Yeah, I have a special right now on Netflix, Raging Fool.

01:17:08.000 We shot it at the Crest Theater in Sacramento, two shows.

01:17:10.000 My wife directed it and executive produced.

01:17:13.000 She executive produced all my specials.

01:17:16.000 We shot it with our own money, and we paid everybody, and then we sold it to Netflix.

01:17:23.000 We made a two-year deal.

01:17:24.000 Oh, that's awesome.

01:17:25.000 So you did great.

01:17:27.000 I love the tracksuit.

01:17:28.000 Yes, because of Raging Bull, because of Raging Fool.

01:17:31.000 Got it.

01:17:31.000 Because of Raging Bull.

01:17:32.000 I love the tracksuit.

01:17:34.000 It's dope. 0.55

01:17:34.000 Because I was watching that movie, Raging Bull, and I was thinking that when Jake LaMotta had nothing left to do in his life, he had nothing how to make money, he said, you know what? 0.55

01:17:45.000 I'm going to be a comedian.

01:17:48.000 And I felt like, wow.

01:17:49.000 He had nothing else to do with his life, so he figured out, I'm going to do stand-up comedy.

01:17:54.000 Because that was the last thing, and for us, it was like the first thing.

01:17:58.000 Well, that happens with actors sometimes, too, when their careers kind of dwindle, they start doing stand-up.

01:18:02.000 That happens.

01:18:04.000 You saw the movie, right?

01:18:05.000 Raging Bull, when he's doing stand-up.

01:18:07.000 And he's at a bar called Jimmy's Corner Bar.

01:18:13.000 And that boy's still there.

01:18:15.000 You know, Stanhope was friends with him.

01:18:17.000 Really?

01:18:17.000 Yeah, because that guy lived down in Arizona, where Stanhope lived.

01:18:21.000 Oh, that's cool, man.

01:18:22.000 Yeah, he's got photos of him hanging out over his house and shit.

01:18:25.000 Yeah, Jake LaMotta was Stanhope's boy.

01:18:28.000 And that's a real story, man.

01:18:29.000 Jake LaMotta was a character.

01:18:31.000 Yeah.

01:18:31.000 That was a wild fella.

01:18:33.000 A wild, crazy fella.

01:18:36.000 And goddamn Robert De Niro nailed it.

01:18:39.000 Nailed it, huh?

01:18:40.000 Nailed it.

01:18:41.000 I mean, nailed it.

01:18:43.000 Like, he looked like an animal when he was Jake LaMotta, like the younger Jake LaMotta.

01:18:49.000 Did you fuck my wife? 1.00

01:18:51.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:18:52.000 He was so scary.

01:18:53.000 He was so scary because he was just out of his fucking mind and so dangerous.

01:18:57.000 And it was based on a real guy, man.

01:18:59.000 I mean, the movie is real close to how that guy was, Jake LaMotta, when he was in his prime.

01:19:05.000 He was a fucking monster, man.

01:19:07.000 I like when he looks at his hands.

01:19:10.000 And he goes, he don't like his hands because they're not big, I guess.

01:19:13.000 He goes, I can never be a heavyweight.

01:19:16.000 Yeah.

01:19:18.000 Yeah.

01:19:19.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:19:20.000 Crazy.

01:19:21.000 That's crazy.

01:19:21.000 That's a different kind of human, man.

01:19:24.000 And back then, there was a lot of people like that.

01:19:27.000 This is, you got to go back and put your mind into what it must have been like to be Jake LaMotta growing up and like what?

01:19:34.000 So what year was Jake?

01:19:38.000 In his prime.

01:19:39.000 What year did he fight Sugar Ray Robinson?

01:19:41.000 Let's ask that.

01:19:42.000 Jake LaManna vs.

01:19:42.000 Sugar Ray Robinson.

01:19:44.000 62?

01:19:46.000 59?

01:19:47.000 42. 42. 42. Okay?

01:19:52.000 Madison Square Garden, 1942. So you gotta imagine.

01:19:55.000 Wow.

01:19:56.000 You gotta just put your mind into the type of people that lived back then.

01:20:00.000 I mean, like...

01:20:02.000 Cars were new.

01:20:03.000 Sewage was new.

01:20:04.000 Like, people had been coming over in boats.

01:20:08.000 Criminals were everywhere.

01:20:09.000 Crime was everywhere.

01:20:10.000 Organized crime was the rule of the law in all the Italian communities, the Irish communities. 0.62

01:20:15.000 You know, that was the thing.

01:20:17.000 42, wow.

01:20:18.000 Yeah, this was just the United States.

01:20:21.000 It's like, you ever watch that movie Gangs of New York?

01:20:24.000 Yes.

01:20:25.000 Fucking great movie, right?

01:20:27.000 That's a fucking great movie.

01:20:29.000 And probably...

01:20:30.000 Pretty accurate.

01:20:32.000 Yes.

01:20:32.000 Roughly pretty accurate the way life was back then.

01:20:36.000 Some of those gangsters that were in that movie were actually real people.

01:20:39.000 I believe it.

01:20:40.000 Like that woman in that movie, I think you talked about it, the one who had to collect ears and put them in a jar. 0.84

01:20:45.000 Yeah.

01:20:46.000 She was an actual real person.

01:20:48.000 She had a bar where people would just have a jar full of pickled ears and noses from previous fights. 1.00

01:20:57.000 Oh my God.

01:20:59.000 Jesus.

01:21:00.000 And they'll have fights in the back with a mongoose fighting a dog. 0.99

01:21:03.000 Oh my god.

01:21:06.000 Gangs of New York, man.

01:21:08.000 Because we don't think of New York that way.

01:21:11.000 You think of New York as like New York City.

01:21:13.000 Well, it was kind of dangerous in the 70s.

01:21:15.000 Then, you know, Giuliani cleaned it up.

01:21:17.000 And then, you know, it's pretty commercialized in a lot of ways.

01:21:20.000 It's still a beautiful city.

01:21:22.000 But New York...

01:21:23.000 During the time of that, whenever that film was supposed to represent, was a wild, crazy, almost like Wild West type place.

01:21:31.000 We think of those kind of scenes when you think of a Wild West movie, right?

01:21:37.000 Yeah, the good, bad, and the ugly.

01:21:38.000 Yeah, you think of people getting stabbed and shot, but that was happening over there, too.

01:21:43.000 It's not like it never happened on the East Coast and they only did it on the West Coast.

01:21:48.000 It was happening in the whole country.

01:21:50.000 And they had just gotten...

01:21:52.000 I mean, these people had just gotten done with a fucking civil war, right?

01:21:57.000 Yeah.

01:21:57.000 Because back then, you got to think, 1940, you go to like the 1860s to the 1940s, that's not that much time.

01:22:06.000 No.

01:22:07.000 That's pretty quick.

01:22:08.000 That's 80 years.

01:22:09.000 80 years.

01:22:10.000 A lot of those fuckers are still alive.

01:22:11.000 Still alive.

01:22:12.000 Yeah.

01:22:12.000 Same mentality, same craziness.

01:22:14.000 And then you got more immigrants coming in on boats.

01:22:16.000 No YouTube to watch, just a whim and a prayer.

01:22:20.000 Someone told them to come.

01:22:21.000 I always think about that man like...

01:22:23.000 Jesus!

01:22:24.000 Yeah, her. 0.54

01:22:25.000 She supposedly was real.

01:22:26.000 She was Maggie.

01:22:27.000 Hellcat Maggie.

01:22:28.000 Jesus Christ.

01:22:29.000 I think about when the Irish are coming in. 1.00

01:22:33.000 At the same time when that movie is happening, and they told him, you want a free meal?

01:22:38.000 You want to fight for your country?

01:22:39.000 And they give him a uniform, and their families go off to New York, and they go off to fight the South.

01:22:45.000 Jesus Christ.

01:22:46.000 Just imagine coming out of the boat and somebody just hands you a gun and a piece of bread and go, go fight for America.

01:22:51.000 And I think about that, like, why are some hardcore people right there, man?

01:22:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:57.000 Hardcore people.

01:22:59.000 Different times, man.

01:23:00.000 Desperate.

01:23:01.000 Yeah, and then people look old, older then than they do now.

01:23:04.000 Oh yeah, they look old quick.

01:23:06.000 Yeah, like you look at a person's photo, and you go, how old is that kid?

01:23:09.000 He looks like 70. Oh, that's a 25-year-old kid working in a coal mine.

01:23:13.000 Yeah.

01:23:14.000 Working in coal mines, those people all got sick.

01:23:17.000 They all got fucked up.

01:23:18.000 I mean, that's environmental pollution that you're signing up for.

01:23:20.000 Like, you're gonna go breathe coal dust no matter what.

01:23:22.000 Everyone gets, they all get horrible fucking...

01:23:25.000 What is that black lung?

01:23:27.000 Black lung.

01:23:28.000 That's terrifying, terrifying.

01:23:29.000 And then you've got people that just live around coal plants, and they're breathing that shit, and they're not even a part of that business.

01:23:37.000 I know, man.

01:23:38.000 Wilkes Bar, Pennsylvania.

01:23:41.000 Bro, there's a place that we showed a video once.

01:23:44.000 It was, was it Indiana, Jamie?

01:23:46.000 Yeah?

01:23:47.000 Yeah.

01:23:47.000 So there's like three coal plants near this city, and these people, they can wipe their windshield, and they have black soot on their fingers.

01:23:56.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:23:56.000 It just falls from the sky. 0.95

01:23:57.000 Yeah, it's in America.

01:23:58.000 So these people are for sure breathing that shit in.

01:24:01.000 Pittsburgh?

01:24:02.000 Indiana.

01:24:03.000 Oh, Indiana.

01:24:03.000 Yeah.

01:24:05.000 That's scary.

01:24:06.000 That's scary.

01:24:07.000 And that's a fraction of what's going on in China, bro.

01:24:11.000 Oh yeah, because when I was in Seattle, and I was waiting for the car to pass, I was going to my show, and I saw, it was like a mile train, and it was all coal.

01:24:23.000 Coal.

01:24:24.000 Real black coal coming from Minnesota.

01:24:26.000 And I asked the cop that was standing there, I go, I didn't know we still mine coal!

01:24:32.000 And he goes, well, we don't use it.

01:24:35.000 But it's all going to China.

01:24:38.000 Really?

01:24:38.000 Yeah, it was like a mile, bro, of coal.

01:24:42.000 And it had no cover on it.

01:24:45.000 That's crazy.

01:24:45.000 And it was just falling off.

01:24:46.000 They say that, I don't know how much coal flies.

01:24:49.000 I don't know shit about coal.

01:24:51.000 But I just know what the guy told me.

01:24:53.000 There was a mile train of coal coming from Minnesota on that one line.

01:24:56.000 And there was a boat.

01:24:58.000 I could see the boat where it was going.

01:25:01.000 Wow.

01:25:02.000 And it's all going to China.

01:25:04.000 Yeah, they're full steam ahead with coal.

01:25:09.000 Someone should check to see if maybe they know something we don't.

01:25:12.000 I know, man.

01:25:13.000 What are they producing with that coal?

01:25:15.000 They're doing a lot.

01:25:17.000 I mean, they produce so many of the things that we need, which is one of the craziest things that we all found out when everything got locked down is you couldn't get anything because so much of what you wanted was made in China. 1.00

01:25:27.000 Like, oh my god, or made in Russia or made in anywhere where they had to come in on a ship.

01:25:32.000 You know, like, that became a real fucking problem.

01:25:35.000 I thought it was made in Akron, Ohio.

01:25:37.000 Yeah, they hardly make shit here.

01:25:39.000 In comparison to what we consume, we consume way more, probably, I would guess, than any country.

01:25:46.000 Of a similar size.

01:25:48.000 Yo, dog.

01:25:50.000 Still rocking the Samsung.

01:25:51.000 I love it.

01:25:52.000 I love when a comic holds out and doesn't go iPhone.

01:25:55.000 Oh, no, man.

01:25:56.000 I like the bigger phone.

01:25:58.000 It has a little pen.

01:25:59.000 You like the pen.

01:26:00.000 I love the pen.

01:26:00.000 You're one of those guys.

01:26:01.000 Which one is that?

01:26:03.000 The...

01:26:03.000 Is that the S24? Yeah, that one.

01:26:08.000 S24 Ultra?

01:26:09.000 Yes.

01:26:09.000 Is that the newest one or the one right before it?

01:26:12.000 Right before it.

01:26:12.000 There's a new one that just came out.

01:26:14.000 It's pretty dope, dude.

01:26:15.000 A year and a half ago, I think.

01:26:16.000 Yeah, that's the old one.

01:26:18.000 That's the S24 Ultra.

01:26:19.000 I have that one.

01:26:20.000 That one's sick. 0.93

01:26:21.000 It does a lot of cool shit.

01:26:22.000 Good videos, right?

01:26:23.000 Yeah, it's great at a lot of stuff, but the interesting thing is the AI. So what I like about it is...

01:26:29.000 I can go to a website, and if I open it up in the Samsung browser, and then I can say summarize.

01:26:35.000 And it'll summarize the website for me.

01:26:37.000 Oh, they didn't know that.

01:26:38.000 Yeah, so if there's some thing that's taking forever for you to get to the point, because you want me to keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling while you show ads all over the place, that's a trap.

01:26:49.000 So it'll just tell you, oh, there's an asteroid that might hit Earth within the next, you know, fucking 60 years.

01:26:56.000 Like, oh, great, there's a 3%.

01:26:57.000 What is a percent chance?

01:26:58.000 Down to 1.5 today.

01:27:00.000 Thank God.

01:27:01.000 Only 1.5%.

01:27:02.000 I take a picture of you, right?

01:27:06.000 And then do that one screen, and then I circle it, and it'll find a sweater for me.

01:27:11.000 That's cool.

01:27:11.000 That's really cool.

01:27:12.000 I think that's available on all phones now.

01:27:15.000 I think the new iPhone update has that as well, where you can Google search a thing, and it'll show you where to buy it.

01:27:21.000 That's what my wife always wanted. 1.00

01:27:23.000 She wanted to have it where you're watching television.

01:27:27.000 And you pause it with your finger and make a circle and then it just ships to your house.

01:27:32.000 You know when people are going to be fed up with that thing?

01:27:34.000 When, first of all, you can only buy so much shit.

01:27:41.000 But second, what happens?

01:27:45.000 You know those glasses that they wear now, those metaglasses?

01:27:49.000 Have you seen this Harvard kid?

01:27:50.000 Oh, the one that you can record now?

01:27:51.000 Yeah, I've seen those.

01:27:52.000 Some Harvard kid figured out how to use facial recognition software with that.

01:27:56.000 So he sees you, gets a photo of you, immediately gets a Wikipedia on you or whatever the fuck is available online, sees your Instagram page, finds your address.

01:28:07.000 And it was wild.

01:28:08.000 You're like, wait, hit the brakes.

01:28:11.000 Sound like the T-1000 Terminator.

01:28:14.000 Yeah, it's like, hit the brakes, hit the brakes.

01:28:18.000 But I don't think they can.

01:28:21.000 Wasn't there a movie like that?

01:28:22.000 Yeah, there's been a bunch of movies.

01:28:23.000 Yeah, Roddy Piper was like that, wasn't it?

01:28:25.000 Oh, They Live.

01:28:26.000 They Live!

01:28:27.000 The glasses?

01:28:27.000 Yes!

01:28:28.000 That was Aliens.

01:28:30.000 I think about that.

01:28:31.000 Sometimes when you have a guest, you go, wait a minute, he's talking about those glasses from Roddy Piper?

01:28:36.000 Similar.

01:28:36.000 I think the Roddy Piper glasses, you put them on, you could see what everybody really looked like.

01:28:41.000 You could see through whatever energy field they were projecting.

01:28:44.000 There was these alien creatures that were pretending to be people.

01:28:47.000 And there's a lot of people that believe that now.

01:28:50.000 I'm less inclined to believe that, but I'm open.

01:28:55.000 I wouldn't want to get tricked.

01:28:56.000 I mean, if there really are people that are actually aliens that are amongst us that look like people and behave like people.

01:29:04.000 This is the guy who figured it out.

01:29:07.000 Try to say his name, Felipe.

01:29:09.000 Hit me with it.

01:29:11.000 I-Cray.

01:29:12.000 What's the first one?

01:29:14.000 Right there.

01:29:15.000 Try that.

01:29:16.000 Oh, it's...

01:29:17.000 It's Anfo Nguyen.

01:29:21.000 I think...

01:29:22.000 And Kayan Ardofalo.

01:29:23.000 I don't think they say Nguyen.

01:29:25.000 I think they say Gwen, right?

01:29:28.000 Because there's been a few fighters in the UFC, Vietnamese fighters, that have that same spelling.

01:29:34.000 And I think they say it as...

01:29:36.000 Can you find out how they say it, Jamie?

01:29:37.000 So it's Anfuguin?

01:29:38.000 Okay.

01:29:39.000 I can see it.

01:29:40.000 A little Dutch there. 0.99

01:29:42.000 And Cain Ardifio?

01:29:46.000 Ardifio?

01:29:47.000 Ardifio.

01:29:49.000 So they figured out how to do this.

01:29:51.000 This is a making-up name now.

01:29:52.000 No, this is a real name, man.

01:29:55.000 That just explains it.

01:29:56.000 Anybody can do it.

01:29:57.000 My name is...

01:29:58.000 Can you scroll so we can explain?

01:30:01.000 How it's possible to do it today?

01:30:03.000 How to remove your information?

01:30:05.000 Oh, jeez.

01:30:06.000 Literally, like the instructions.

01:30:07.000 So just showing how to remove your face from face search engines, which you're not going to be able to do eventually.

01:30:16.000 It's getting weird out there, Felipe.

01:30:18.000 I'm going to walk around with a black face, green face, bro.

01:30:22.000 I had a friend of mine who came in here the other day, and he's down to a flip phone.

01:30:25.000 And his flip phone was interesting because it has Android on it.

01:30:29.000 His flip phone, you could actually get text messages on it, and you have a little tiny-ass screen on the flip phone where you can kind of clumsily type your way through a sentence.

01:30:37.000 So you don't have to do it with, like, a full keyboard like an iPhone or an earphone, but you also, it's inconvenient, so you don't text as much.

01:30:46.000 You don't go on these long-winded diatribes like a lot of people do.

01:30:49.000 It's just real simple.

01:30:51.000 The whole screen is on there, but you've got to navigate all the way around to read everything?

01:30:55.000 Yeah.

01:30:55.000 I remember those.

01:30:56.000 It's a tiny little-ass screen.

01:30:58.000 Yeah.

01:30:58.000 It's got regular buttons to make phone calls.

01:31:00.000 And then on his little tiny-ass screen is a tiny-ass keyboard about that big.

01:31:04.000 And you get in there with that tiny-ass keyboard, and you try to type a text message, and you can push send.

01:31:09.000 And so it's inconvenient.

01:31:11.000 So you don't go on Twitter.

01:31:13.000 You don't check things out.

01:31:16.000 Get your text messages.

01:31:17.000 It can do other stuff if you absolutely fucking need it to.

01:31:19.000 But live your life, bitch. 1.00

01:31:21.000 And he was in here with that.

01:31:23.000 I was like, man, that seems cool, but I like watching YouTube on my phone, so I don't know what to tell you.

01:31:27.000 That sounds like Larry Bubbles Brown from San Francisco.

01:31:31.000 Yeah?

01:31:31.000 He still has a flip phone.

01:31:32.000 David Tell?

01:31:34.000 Wow.

01:31:34.000 David Tell has a flip phone.

01:31:35.000 Yeah, you should see him text me.

01:31:36.000 It's hilarious.

01:31:37.000 Do they both have the original phone numbers when you first met them?

01:31:40.000 No.

01:31:41.000 No.

01:31:41.000 They've all changed numbers.

01:31:43.000 You have to change every now and then.

01:31:45.000 It's, you know, you gotta purge.

01:31:48.000 Gotta keep moving.

01:31:49.000 I think I still have my same phone number for the last 20 years.

01:31:55.000 Damn!

01:31:55.000 One of those dudes.

01:31:56.000 A holdout.

01:31:57.000 Yeah.

01:31:58.000 Yeah.

01:31:59.000 Sometimes that's good, but it gets annoying sometimes.

01:32:03.000 You know, it's all in, you gotta manage your time.

01:32:06.000 You change your phone number a lot?

01:32:08.000 Nice people.

01:32:10.000 People I trust.

01:32:11.000 You've got to manage your time.

01:32:13.000 The thing about a guy like you is you're headlining, you're on the road, dudes want to open up for you, you've got the Netflix special, they want to hang out with you.

01:32:23.000 You've got to manage your time.

01:32:24.000 Because you can't give your time away to everybody.

01:32:26.000 There's a certain amount of time you need for yourself.

01:32:28.000 If you don't have that time you need for yourself, you go off the rails.

01:32:30.000 You've got to take time to re-center.

01:32:34.000 All the time.

01:32:35.000 All the time.

01:32:35.000 And if you're constantly getting this and that, you're constantly interacting, you're never alone, you're never without your shit.

01:32:42.000 Fighting with people?

01:32:42.000 Yeah.

01:32:43.000 I get in a sauna and I stretch out every day.

01:32:47.000 I get down there, I fucking stretch everything out.

01:32:50.000 When you're doing that, you can't do anything else.

01:32:52.000 You can't be scrolling on TikTok when you're stretching everything out.

01:32:56.000 You gotta just go through your routine.

01:32:58.000 And then that clears my mind.

01:33:00.000 And I feel like if you don't make room for that...

01:33:03.000 You're gonna fuck your life up.

01:33:05.000 And I know that there's only so many people that I can entertain and help with stuff.

01:33:12.000 There's only so many people that are just, it's a transactional kind of a conversation you're having with them.

01:33:17.000 It's not fun.

01:33:17.000 It's not like, what's up, dude?

01:33:19.000 Hey, what's up?

01:33:19.000 Those are great.

01:33:20.000 But then there's a lot of, could you do this?

01:33:22.000 Would you do that?

01:33:23.000 Will you fly to here?

01:33:24.000 And you're like, hey.

01:33:29.000 Enough.

01:33:31.000 You know?

01:33:31.000 So you gotta like, Know when to change your number.

01:33:34.000 What time do you get up?

01:33:35.000 It depends.

01:33:36.000 Most days, 8. I was up at 8 today.

01:33:38.000 8 is good.

01:33:38.000 I tell you, I'm going to throw in like, my bro, I get up at 5 every day.

01:33:43.000 Yeah, I don't think that's necessary.

01:33:45.000 It's the thing that people always want to do where they want to show themselves that they have the discipline to get up.

01:33:52.000 I respect that.

01:33:54.000 Like, Jocko does that.

01:33:55.000 You know Jocko Willink?

01:33:56.000 No.

01:33:58.000 Jocko is an amazing dude.

01:34:01.000 Former Navy SEAL, who is one of the most inspirational guys I know.

01:34:06.000 And he writes books on leadership, just brilliant guy, has an excellent podcast, solid dude, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt.

01:34:15.000 And he, like, every morning he takes a photo of his watch that says 4.30 a.m.

01:34:22.000 Oh, I've seen that guy.

01:34:24.000 Every morning when he's waking up, you get his shitty Iron Man.

01:34:29.000 I shouldn't say shitty because they're fucking durable as fuck.

01:34:31.000 There's little Iron Man triathlon watches.

01:34:34.000 Oh, it looks like you got a new watch.

01:34:36.000 That's a new watch, Jocko.

01:34:37.000 You can't fool me.

01:34:39.000 I know your old watch.

01:34:40.000 Go back to the old watch pictures.

01:34:41.000 Look, so it's every day, 4.30, his fucking watch.

01:34:44.000 Sometimes 4.14.

01:34:45.000 Takes a photo of it, and then he works out.

01:34:48.000 He's just a legit dude.

01:34:50.000 Wow, that's dedication.

01:34:52.000 So that's him, though.

01:34:53.000 He likes doing that.

01:34:55.000 He likes doing that.

01:34:58.000 But he's not a comedian.

01:35:00.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:35:00.000 I think for a comedian, you can't be that rigid.

01:35:03.000 You'll get a little psychotic.

01:35:05.000 You can't be that rigid.

01:35:06.000 You gotta have discipline, but you also gotta have fun.

01:35:09.000 So I don't get up at 4.30.

01:35:11.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:35:12.000 First of all, I'm up until at least midnight almost every night.

01:35:16.000 Me too.

01:35:17.000 I get, like, most of my best, like, writing done and my best ideas when everyone in the house is asleep.

01:35:22.000 So when everyone in my house is asleep and I'm up, I like that.

01:35:26.000 Because I'm like, oh, cool.

01:35:27.000 Everybody, I don't need, nobody needs my attention.

01:35:29.000 Now I can concentrate.

01:35:31.000 And I get my, I can't concentrate when people are in the house.

01:35:34.000 I feel like I should be hanging out and having fun and being with everybody.

01:35:38.000 I don't want to lock myself up in my office.

01:35:40.000 But that's the only way to write.

01:35:42.000 But for me, it's like late at night is where it's at because everybody's asleep and the world feels creepy.

01:35:48.000 You know, at night the world feels kind of dangerous and fucked up and stupid.

01:35:53.000 It's like, you know, when you worry about war in the middle of the night, it's like 1 o'clock in the morning and you're in front of your computer and you're writing something on Microsoft Word and you're genuinely worried about war.

01:36:04.000 Yeah.

01:36:04.000 Genuinely worried that decisions that people are making in this country are going to one day come down on us with holy...

01:36:11.000 Terror.

01:36:12.000 One day, just in the middle of the city, just BOOM! Some fucking thermonuclear device that levels a place four times the size of Hiroshima instantaneously.

01:36:26.000 I think about that kind of shit late at night.

01:36:29.000 How do you make that funny?

01:36:31.000 I don't sometimes.

01:36:35.000 Some of it's not funny.

01:36:36.000 But there's funny things attached to it.

01:36:39.000 There's funny things attached to just the way we behave.

01:36:43.000 There's nothing funny about the potential for complete annihilation of the human race.

01:36:47.000 But there is something funny about this desire that we have to keep doing the same things we've always done and hope that somehow or another we get it right this time.

01:37:01.000 We're on the verge of war all the time, and there's got to be some way to stop that other than funding more war.

01:37:08.000 There's got to be a better way to stop that.

01:37:09.000 That's funny you said the verge of war.

01:37:15.000 When you first started doing stand-up comedy, there's been a lot of verges of real wars, huh?

01:37:21.000 Yeah, the first war, when I was...

01:37:24.000 So when was Desert Storm?

01:37:27.000 Desert Storm or Desert Shield.

01:37:29.000 Which one was which?

01:37:31.000 We had this conversation the other day.

01:37:32.000 The other shield was with Norman Schwarzkopf.

01:37:36.000 So that's Iraq, and that's like 2003?

01:37:38.000 Yeah.

01:37:39.000 Right.

01:37:40.000 The one I'm talking about is Desert Storm, which was like 1990?

01:37:45.000 Was it 1990, Jamie?

01:37:49.000 They're the same?

01:37:54.000 Yeah, but the first invasion before we pulled out with George W. Bush in Iraq?

01:38:00.000 Iraq invaded Kuwait on August 20th, 1990. Yes, I remember that one, yes.

01:38:04.000 Okay, so when Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990, then we went to war with Iraq, and I was living with my friend Jimmy, and we were sitting, Jimmy DeTilio, shout out to Jimmy, we were sitting in our apartment in the living room, and the war was on TV, and we were like, holy shit, man, we're at war.

01:38:24.000 I remember thinking, this can't even be real.

01:38:25.000 It just happened at night, right?

01:38:26.000 We started watching the air raids.

01:38:29.000 Yeah, it started as Desert Shield, and then when we started going after Ham was Desert Storm. 0.97

01:38:34.000 Yeah.

01:38:35.000 And what year was that?

01:38:36.000 That was just like a year later.

01:38:37.000 It was 91. So Desert Shield was to protect, and Desert Storm was to destroy.

01:38:42.000 Yeah, it was dropping off troops.

01:38:43.000 Bill Hicks had the best material about that.

01:38:45.000 Oh, my God.

01:38:46.000 His material about the war was great.

01:38:47.000 They have such sophisticated weapons.

01:38:49.000 How do you know?

01:38:49.000 We got the receipts.

01:38:53.000 We love to arm puppet dictators and then fuck them up. 1.00

01:38:57.000 You know, it's like, you know, it's like Clint Eastwood movie.

01:39:01.000 Pick up the gun.

01:39:02.000 You know, it's like Dirty Harry.

01:39:03.000 I tell you, I know what you're thinking.

01:39:05.000 Yeah.

01:39:06.000 I'll fire four.

01:39:07.000 Tell you the truth.

01:39:08.000 I kind of forgot myself.

01:39:10.000 My favorite one is The Unforgiven, man.

01:39:13.000 When that guy's crying, could he kill somebody?

01:39:17.000 He goes, that's what happens when you kill a man.

01:39:21.000 You take away all he ever wanted and all he ever had.

01:39:26.000 Yeah.

01:39:27.000 That movie was the best Western movie, I think, ever.

01:39:32.000 Like, of that kind of Clint Eastwood genre.

01:39:34.000 That was almost like he was coming back to update it.

01:39:37.000 You know?

01:39:38.000 Because he had all the bangers.

01:39:39.000 You know?

01:39:39.000 Good, the bad, and the ugly.

01:39:41.000 A fistful of dollars.

01:39:43.000 Like, incredible.

01:39:44.000 Outlaw Josie Wells.

01:39:45.000 Yeah.

01:39:45.000 Oh, Outlaw Josie Wells.

01:39:47.000 That was another level, too.

01:39:48.000 But then it's like...

01:39:49.000 Unforgiven was the one where it really gave you a sense of what it must have been like living in the Wild West.

01:39:57.000 It was just the people were more real.

01:39:59.000 It was more updated to the movies of that era, like the Morgan Freeman character.

01:40:05.000 It was a fucking great movie, man.

01:40:07.000 That's a great, like, Western movie and just a hard story, man.

01:40:11.000 I like that line when he goes in there to get those people that killed Morgan Freeman.

01:40:15.000 You just shot an unarmed man!

01:40:18.000 Yeah.

01:40:18.000 He should have armed himself.

01:40:20.000 Yeah.

01:40:20.000 If he's going to decorate his place with a friend of mine.

01:40:24.000 Yeah, that was a hardcore movie, man.

01:40:26.000 That was a hardcore movie.

01:40:28.000 You saw the...

01:40:30.000 But isn't it funny that we always want to think about that kind of shit happening out west?

01:40:33.000 We don't want to believe that that kind of same shit was happening out east.

01:40:37.000 There were animals everywhere.

01:40:39.000 Animals.

01:40:40.000 Animals.

01:40:41.000 People were animals back then.

01:40:43.000 They were barely human.

01:40:44.000 Hang them high.

01:40:46.000 Can you imagine if we had to do fucking stand-up in 1820?

01:40:52.000 Can you imagine?

01:40:53.000 First of all, you're getting sick everywhere because there's no sewage.

01:40:56.000 So everybody's just got shit in the streets.

01:40:58.000 Everywhere you go, you're breathing shit fumes.

01:41:00.000 You're stepping in shit everywhere.

01:41:02.000 That's what I think about now.

01:41:04.000 When I watch those movies now, like Gangs of New York, I looked over and said, man, it fucking stinks out there.

01:41:11.000 People are ignoring the fucking stink.

01:41:13.000 There's a rotting body right there.

01:41:15.000 Bro, it probably was so rank, they didn't have anywhere to get rid of their shit.

01:41:20.000 And I read that the little napkin that they had on the big white wig people, they had a little cankerchief, and they would just carry it, bro. 0.96

01:41:35.000 And they would have perfume on it.

01:41:36.000 They would put it in their nose so they wouldn't have to smell like the poor people. 1.00

01:41:40.000 Well, it wasn't just that, man.

01:41:41.000 It was the shit in the streets because they didn't have cars, so they had horses.

01:41:45.000 The horses would shit all over the roads.

01:41:47.000 And nobody had a job picking it up yet.

01:41:49.000 Oh, dude.

01:41:50.000 One job was someone would just put down, like, a handkerchief so you could walk over it.

01:41:55.000 Oh! 0.60

01:41:56.000 Just fucking clean it up, you lazy bitch. 1.00

01:42:00.000 And throw in, like, shit water out of a...

01:42:03.000 Look at this.

01:42:06.000 That's all shit.

01:42:08.000 Imagine breathing that every day.

01:42:10.000 There's no way that's good for you.

01:42:12.000 You think scented candles are bad for you?

01:42:16.000 Imagine the people that lived back then hearing us complain about scented candles.

01:42:23.000 Whoa.

01:42:25.000 Poop once flowed freely in the streets of New York.

01:42:28.000 Look, that was a poop pipe that would go right down the street. 1.00

01:42:31.000 Jesus Christ.

01:42:32.000 Oh man, when I was at my grandmother's house in Mexico, they still had an outhouse.

01:42:38.000 They didn't have no plumbing.

01:42:40.000 Bro, isn't it interesting because this is a terrible way to live that people insisted on doing it this way?

01:42:44.000 I was thinking the day that they figured it out, you'd be like, oh my god, what the?

01:42:47.000 But imagine, because you had to figure it out to get it to where it is now, right?

01:42:50.000 So people had to go through that to get to the Manhattan of today where it's all super sophisticated, amazing hotels, amazing restaurants.

01:42:56.000 But why would you stick around?

01:42:59.000 Have you breathing in shit every day?

01:43:01.000 Every day.

01:43:02.000 You go live on a farm.

01:43:03.000 I'd be like, fuck this experiment.

01:43:04.000 This is terrible.

01:43:05.000 This is not for us.

01:43:07.000 This is for the benefit of people in the future.

01:43:08.000 We're destroying...

01:43:10.000 Soil men. 0.71

01:43:10.000 Who carted away of America's waste. 0.71

01:43:12.000 Bro, you know how sick people must have been back then?

01:43:15.000 No antibiotics.

01:43:16.000 Everybody's breathing in shit.

01:43:17.000 You fall.

01:43:18.000 You slip.

01:43:19.000 You skin your knee.

01:43:20.000 Your knee gets infected with staph.

01:43:22.000 You die.

01:43:23.000 You got shit in your knee.

01:43:25.000 That's what it says.

01:43:27.000 People are gagging as this cart would walk by.

01:43:30.000 Oh, God!

01:43:33.000 On a summer day in 1873, a cart stood on 6th Avenue in New York City filled to the brink with raw human waste.

01:43:41.000 The cart was uncovered, its contents exposed to the air and to the passersby who retched and gagged as they scurried away.

01:43:50.000 Excrement dipped off the sides of the cart and the sidewalks and gutters were smeared with the stuff.

01:43:56.000 The stench was so strong that it could be smelled Bro!

01:44:06.000 Here's the thing, man.

01:44:08.000 This is after the Civil War.

01:44:10.000 Yeah.

01:44:11.000 This is 1873. And you're in Italy reading books talking about the streets are made of gold.

01:44:20.000 Night soil.

01:44:21.000 Night soil.

01:44:25.000 Yeah, they used it for fucking... 1.00

01:44:29.000 I mean, they used it for compost, right?

01:44:31.000 It was a name euphemistically given to human waste because it was removed from the privies under the cloak of darkness so that polite society would be spared from confronting its own feces as the men carted the crap away, leaving a trail of stench in their wake.

01:44:46.000 Every year in cities across the country, thousands of carts brimming with excrement rattled through the night streets.

01:44:52.000 There was an antiquated solution to a modern problem.

01:44:55.000 America's cities were full of crap.

01:44:56.000 So the people were just throwing the shit in the street.

01:44:58.000 Yes.

01:45:00.000 How much could those guys get paid?

01:45:02.000 It's not possible.

01:45:04.000 Shitty.

01:45:04.000 They got paid shitty.

01:45:07.000 What a shitty job.

01:45:10.000 Imagine being at a bar.

01:45:11.000 Imagine.

01:45:12.000 Let them in.

01:45:15.000 And barrels.

01:45:17.000 You're getting a horse-pulled wagon filled with shit.

01:45:19.000 That is so crazy.

01:45:22.000 So living back then was hell, bro.

01:45:25.000 We're so lucky.

01:45:26.000 And that's how they're going to look at us.

01:45:28.000 These future beings that no longer have war, that no longer have greed or anger, these future beings that are connected to the hive mind, they're going to look back at us like Felipe and Joe.

01:45:37.000 We're living like idiots.

01:45:40.000 Dunk, I bet.

01:45:41.000 One of the dumping grounds was a field near the White House where a marsh of Washtonian waste putrefied under the president's nose.

01:45:50.000 This suggests that this may have been a contributing factor to President Harris's untimely death in 1841 since the White House water source was a mere seven blocks downstream.

01:46:01.000 Oh, shit water.

01:46:03.000 Oh, my God.

01:46:03.000 They killed the president with shit water.

01:46:06.000 Oh, my God.

01:46:08.000 He died of dysentery.

01:46:10.000 Bro, this is why you can't trust that the experts are looking out for your health.

01:46:14.000 They didn't even protect the president.

01:46:16.000 Somebody concocted this idea, and they never even thought about the potential for ruining all the water that people drink.

01:46:23.000 They just said, this is a good place to dump all this.

01:46:26.000 Wow.

01:46:27.000 Nasty.

01:46:28.000 People are so nasty.

01:46:30.000 Oh, man.

01:46:31.000 I have to think about...

01:46:33.000 That's so nasty.

01:46:34.000 And condos back then were probably still sheep's wool, right?

01:46:38.000 Sheep's skin. 0.87

01:46:38.000 Sheep's skin? 0.87

01:46:39.000 Yeah, like sheep intestines.

01:46:39.000 I saw a movie where a woman, a guy, a woman, she was washing the contraceptive.

01:46:47.000 Yeah.

01:46:48.000 Right after all this white wig, guys threw it at her face.

01:46:51.000 Wow.

01:46:52.000 So she's using the same one for every man.

01:46:55.000 Oh, my God.

01:46:56.000 I gotta read this.

01:46:57.000 Oh, Christ.

01:46:58.000 So they didn't have, even by 1880s, two-thirds of flushing toilets still just went into a backyard cesspool?

01:47:05.000 Read this part here.

01:47:07.000 Overflowing privy was a sight to behold.

01:47:09.000 In James McCab's 1882 account of New York Street Life, he described one man's yard in which the privy's contents drained down into a street sewer, forming a miniature loathsome Niagara of night soil.

01:47:23.000 Niagara!

01:47:24.000 The cascading sewage flowed right by the window so that a man sitting on a chair at the window would not have only the odor.

01:47:34.000 Also, the views of this loathsome matter circulating at his feet in the pool below.

01:47:40.000 Yeah, see, this is why everybody was so sick.

01:47:44.000 This is...

01:47:45.000 Probably the start of the plague.

01:47:47.000 Well, also, like, there's no fucking...

01:47:49.000 No one's clean.

01:47:51.000 Cholera outbreak, 1849. Yeah, I would say that is the biggest breakthrough ever in the controlling of diseases.

01:48:03.000 The biggest breakthrough is sanitation.

01:48:05.000 I was just thinking about, too, using these words dumping grounds in this time period, too, this is the same time those bones were dumped in the East River with who knows what else.

01:48:14.000 Yeah, there's not enough vaccines in the world to protect you when you're living like that.

01:48:17.000 You know?

01:48:19.000 Imagine the pharmaceutical drug companies would try to sell you if you were living like that, and they figured out...

01:48:24.000 How to counteract all the different things that you're inhaling in the air from human shit.

01:48:29.000 They're so nasty, man.

01:48:31.000 So nasty.

01:48:31.000 They killed the president, bro.

01:48:35.000 Imagine him waking up in the morning.

01:48:39.000 Good morning, everybody!

01:48:41.000 I'm glad you just said that about dumping bodies because this is a thing I need to send you, Jamie.

01:48:46.000 I'm so glad you brought that up because I read this.

01:48:49.000 I don't want to fuck this up.

01:48:50.000 I want to figure out what the fuck this actually means.

01:48:54.000 Here, I'm going to send this to you, Jamie.

01:48:56.000 It's about liquid human remains.

01:49:00.000 Liquid human remains?

01:49:02.000 Yeah.

01:49:03.000 So, with this article saying...

01:49:06.000 Whoa, it's like an Instagram thing.

01:49:10.000 That being fed back to the population via fertilizer on crops?

01:49:14.000 That?

01:49:15.000 So he's making pozole with people?

01:49:17.000 I hope it's not true.

01:49:19.000 Making menudo with people or what?

01:49:21.000 I don't know.

01:49:22.000 It sounded like they were using it for fertilizer and using people for supplements somehow or another.

01:49:29.000 How they're saying you're boiling down a human body.

01:49:32.000 Are they compensating the family?

01:49:33.000 I don't know, but...

01:49:34.000 Also, there's no DNA. So what did you need the body for?

01:49:37.000 The whole body's DNA. Like, what are you saying?

01:49:40.000 There's no DNA? So what did you...

01:49:42.000 You broke it down to chemicals, so now it's okay?

01:49:44.000 So you broke the human body, the container of a soul, down to chemicals, and you're going to pour it on your flowers, and that's okay?

01:49:51.000 That seems weird.

01:49:54.000 No, it's not made up.

01:49:55.000 It seems weird.

01:49:56.000 Like, what do you...

01:49:56.000 How the fuck...

01:49:57.000 We should find out how the fuck they do it.

01:49:59.000 Is there a video we can watch on them doing it?

01:50:02.000 And how do they liquefy them?

01:50:04.000 Hot water?

01:50:05.000 It said hot water and something else.

01:50:07.000 They added some other stuff, too.

01:50:10.000 But whatever, man.

01:50:12.000 What the fuck?

01:50:13.000 Is this it?

01:50:14.000 Five years ago.

01:50:16.000 Oh, my God.

01:50:16.000 The most eco.

01:50:17.000 Let's listen to this.

01:50:18.000 Can't we?

01:50:19.000 No.

01:50:20.000 Do they put them in there alive?

01:50:23.000 No.

01:50:24.000 Felipe, these are dead bodies.

01:50:25.000 They're just cooking them.

01:50:27.000 Cooking them up nice.

01:50:28.000 And that's what they get, like little bones and pieces.

01:50:33.000 Well, I want to be cremated, but if that's an option...

01:50:36.000 You're just talking about it.

01:50:37.000 Yeah, but you don't want your body being resold as fertilizer. 0.83

01:50:41.000 It's just weird to pour dead people on top of your fucking carrots so they grow better.

01:50:48.000 Sprinkle me.

01:50:49.000 What are they breaking it down to?

01:50:52.000 What are they breaking the human body down to that's valuable for them to do that?

01:50:56.000 Like, what is the stuff they're looking for?

01:50:59.000 Let's find that out.

01:51:00.000 First of all, we don't even know if it's true.

01:51:02.000 I wouldn't take that as true.

01:51:03.000 I wouldn't even believe that.

01:51:04.000 How would this...

01:51:05.000 Can you Google and see if there's other stories that say that...

01:51:08.000 Okay, I'm not pushing you.

01:51:10.000 I gotta read.

01:51:12.000 Oh, I understand.

01:51:14.000 Whatever it is, it seems like you're supposed to leave people alone when they're dead.

01:51:18.000 Okay, we're supposed to be different than everything else on the planet.

01:51:20.000 We love each other more than we love anything else.

01:51:23.000 You can use monkeys for experiments, but you can't use people.

01:51:25.000 Some states allow the remaining liquid with its peptides, sugars, amino acids, and captured carbon to be reclaimed and repurposed as fertilizer.

01:51:34.000 Yo.

01:51:36.000 Yo.

01:51:37.000 They're turning.

01:51:38.000 Do they have to tell you, like how do they have to tell you if you're going to buy a haunted house?

01:51:42.000 Do they have to, you know, if there's a house where someone killed his whole family in it?

01:51:46.000 Yeah.

01:51:47.000 They have to tell you that.

01:51:48.000 You see that oak tree?

01:51:50.000 That stuff.

01:51:51.000 Joe Diaz, by the way.

01:51:53.000 What?

01:51:53.000 No, they're making them to soil, right?

01:51:57.000 Oh, right, right, right.

01:51:58.000 So you see that old tree right there?

01:52:00.000 We use Joey Diaz.

01:52:02.000 We use particles.

01:52:03.000 That's right, cocksuckers. 1.00

01:52:04.000 Do you think they have to tell you, though, that you're buying dead people fertilizer or they just consider it chemicals at that point?

01:52:12.000 How do they get away with selling you dead people?

01:52:14.000 Because it seems like if you had the option, hey, do you want manure or dead people?

01:52:19.000 It's been around for a long time.

01:52:20.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:52:21.000 Patenton in 1888. They've been boiling people and turning them into fertilizer since the 1800s?

01:52:28.000 So we have that machine, but not no fucking sewage.

01:52:32.000 Wow.

01:52:33.000 I'm trying to find out where they say that they've used it for other stuff.

01:52:36.000 But the scary thing is them saying that they use it for calcium deficiencies.

01:52:42.000 Because that means you're feeding people other people's bones so they can get a source of calcium.

01:52:47.000 But that guy's vegan, so don't give it to him.

01:52:52.000 Maybe it's okay because the person consented.

01:52:54.000 Yes, true.

01:52:55.000 Cremation social, it seems like a solid place.

01:53:05.000 So body plus 95% water, 5% alkaline, basic chemicals, either potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide or a combo, sterile effluent, water, salt, sugars, amino acids, peptides, bone fragments, calcium phosphate.

01:53:22.000 So that's what they get out of it.

01:53:23.000 So they boil it down in this solution and they get out all these different things, water, salt, sugar, amino acids, peptides, and then calcium phosphate.

01:53:34.000 Guess what do they do with the calcium?

01:53:35.000 So if you're buying calcium and you find out it's from dead people, they should probably let you know.

01:53:42.000 You probably should have to let people know that.

01:53:45.000 I drink dead people.

01:53:47.000 You would sell a lot if you made it from dead people for sure.

01:53:50.000 Like if you had a skull and crossbones on the bottle.

01:53:52.000 There's a lot of assholes who'd buy that.

01:53:54.000 But then people start looking at that like they'd look at chicken.

01:53:58.000 How was he raised?

01:54:00.000 What kind of parents did he have?

01:54:02.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:54:03.000 Yeah, if you're really into...

01:54:05.000 Do they have anxiety problems?

01:54:06.000 Are you really into eating someone?

01:54:08.000 What if they were a fucked up person and you take a little bit of their soul inside of you and you go insane? 0.72

01:54:13.000 Bro.

01:54:14.000 Be crazy, man.

01:54:15.000 Well, that's got to be what's happening with the cannibals when they get that disease and they get shaky.

01:54:22.000 The prion disease that they get from eating each other.

01:54:26.000 Did Jeffrey Dahmer have that?

01:54:28.000 I don't think so.

01:54:29.000 I think you have to eat spinal tissue.

01:54:31.000 You have to eat brain and spinal tissue.

01:54:34.000 And they're called prions.

01:54:36.000 The thing about prions is you can't even boil them.

01:54:39.000 If you cook them at like a thousand degrees, I think, for like hours, it doesn't kill them.

01:54:45.000 If you ever get invited to a restaurant, they tell you you're just a human being, would you eat it?

01:54:52.000 No.

01:54:54.000 Why would I eat a person?

01:54:55.000 Or they tell you after, man, you just ate a...

01:54:58.000 Well, I'd be really mad.

01:54:59.000 Decompose acrylion body that we made into chicken.

01:55:04.000 Yeah, I wouldn't like that.

01:55:05.000 Would you like that, Felipe?

01:55:07.000 Hell no.

01:55:09.000 Yeah, it would be weird.

01:55:10.000 Need more salt, please.

01:55:11.000 Remember that movie Soylent Green?

01:55:13.000 Do you remember that movie?

01:55:13.000 No.

01:55:14.000 It was an old-timey science fiction movie.

01:55:17.000 But people were being fed Soylent Green, and then this guy figures out that Soylent Green is made out of people.

01:55:24.000 And they're serving people like this fucking protein biscuit that's made out of humans.

01:55:28.000 Oh, that sucks.

01:55:29.000 Yeah, but there's people that would do that.

01:55:30.000 Is that the old movie, right?

01:55:32.000 There's people that would do that.

01:55:33.000 Do they end with a woman boiling a foot? 1.00

01:55:36.000 Oh, I don't remember that.

01:55:38.000 Maybe.

01:55:38.000 I don't remember.

01:55:39.000 It was a long time ago.

01:55:41.000 I just remember the premise of the movie.

01:55:42.000 I probably haven't seen that movie in 20 plus years.

01:55:44.000 I saw one where a guy was called a microwave massacre.

01:55:49.000 Microwave Massacre?

01:55:50.000 And this guy murdered his wife.

01:55:51.000 In a microwave?

01:55:52.000 No, he cuts off her pieces and microwaves the body and makes lunches and he takes them to work every day.

01:55:59.000 Wait, this is a real guy?

01:56:00.000 Real movie.

01:56:01.000 Wait a minute, a real movie or a real person?

01:56:03.000 It's a real movie called Microwave Massacre but probably based on a real guy.

01:56:06.000 And he would take food that he made from people he murdered and they would eat it at work and when they finally caught him everybody at work was throwing up.

01:56:16.000 I think there was a woman who You got caught eating her husband and serving him to the neighbors. 0.98

01:56:23.000 Wow.

01:56:24.000 How much do you have to hate that dude?

01:56:26.000 To serve him to you?

01:56:27.000 How much do you hate your neighbors?

01:56:29.000 Say, I'm going to watch these motherfuckers eat my husband. 1.00

01:56:31.000 I'm going to cook it up nice.

01:56:33.000 Cook up that ass cheek. 1.00

01:56:35.000 I hear you really like my husband.

01:56:38.000 You're going to love this dish.

01:56:39.000 This is his favorite.

01:56:42.000 Jesus Christ.

01:56:43.000 I made a console man for him, too.

01:56:46.000 A nice bone broth.

01:56:48.000 Good for the soul.

01:56:50.000 Yeah, so that's where that shit comes from.

01:56:52.000 Prions.

01:56:54.000 They're scary.

01:56:56.000 That's mad cow disease. 0.98

01:56:57.000 That's what cannibals get. 1.00

01:57:01.000 It's a very sketchy disease.

01:57:02.000 And there's another one right now that deers have.

01:57:05.000 It's called chronic wasting disease.

01:57:06.000 Same kind of deal.

01:57:08.000 It's a prion disease. 0.99

01:57:09.000 And deers are getting it, and they froth at the mouth and drool, and their body shrivels up.

01:57:16.000 Very creepy, man.

01:57:17.000 You can eat those?

01:57:18.000 No.

01:57:18.000 You can?

01:57:20.000 Because there's no crossover to people, but I wouldn't suggest it.

01:57:23.000 I wouldn't recommend it.

01:57:24.000 I mean, I wouldn't...

01:57:26.000 The thing is, you can test, and you can find out if your deer is okay.

01:57:30.000 Like, you can shoot them and then test them, and then you know you're good to go and you can eat the deer.

01:57:34.000 But if it tests positive, it hasn't jumped from animal to people.

01:57:38.000 It's only an animal.

01:57:40.000 But what it does to animals is so grave.

01:57:43.000 Why would you take that chance?

01:57:44.000 This is how I feel.

01:57:45.000 Why would you take a chance of consuming an animal that literally has the plague inside of it?

01:57:50.000 Because for deer, that's the plague.

01:57:52.000 These deer, I mean, they're not even...

01:57:54.000 See, with people...

01:57:56.000 A disease like that would spread like wildfire, right?

01:57:59.000 With deer, they're out in these big, giant, open areas, and yet still, it's spreading from their saliva onto leaves.

01:58:08.000 And then other deer pick it up.

01:58:10.000 Yeah.

01:58:13.000 It's super fucking contagious, and it kills the shit out of them.

01:58:17.000 And if that jumps to people, that's a real problem.

01:58:20.000 That's a real fucking problem.

01:58:22.000 Because I don't know if they have medication that combats it in deer.

01:58:27.000 I don't know what research they've done in trying to figure it out.

01:58:29.000 But I know it's such a problem that there's a lot of places where they're killing extra deer just to try to keep the populations lower so they don't interact with each other as much and so they don't catch it.

01:58:40.000 From giving it back and forth to each other.

01:58:41.000 And people have this right now?

01:58:43.000 No humans have it yet.

01:58:44.000 But I think chronic wasting disease has been...

01:58:48.000 It used to be one type of deer.

01:58:50.000 I'm not sure what deer it started out with.

01:58:52.000 It might have been mule deer.

01:58:53.000 But it's in a lot of white-tailed deer in America.

01:58:57.000 And apparently it's made its way into other ungulates.

01:59:00.000 Like I think it's in elk.

01:59:03.000 And I think they might have even found it in moose.

01:59:05.000 It's scary shit, man.

01:59:07.000 Because it's basically a zombie virus.

01:59:09.000 It turns you into a fucking skeleton and you waste away.

01:59:13.000 Yeah, it's horrific.

01:59:14.000 And it's probably some of it came from farms.

01:59:20.000 Because they think that that's one of the ways that it's spread.

01:59:22.000 Like, there's a lot of deer farms that do a great job.

01:59:25.000 They're very ethical.

01:59:26.000 So if you wanted a property and you wanted your own...

01:59:28.000 Private hunting property, and you wanted to put a high fence up, take care of the ground, put food plots in there for the animals.

01:59:35.000 This is how you, you know, you got a thousand acres, you want to fence it all in.

01:59:37.000 Like, you could do that in Texas, and you can buy deer.

01:59:40.000 So you say, okay, I want to buy, you know, like, 20 white-tailed deer and let them loose on my property.

01:59:45.000 You know, you got this thousand-acre spot or wherever you're at.

01:59:49.000 If you get...

01:59:50.000 A deer that is from a farm that's unethical, they're all going to be stacked next to each other, just like pigs.

01:59:56.000 When you watch fucking factory farming for pigs, they're going to be corralled and shitty.

02:00:01.000 Most of them don't do this, but you're always going to have people that are unethical.

02:00:05.000 And when people do things where diseases start getting spread and they kind of cover it up or lie about it because they don't want to lose money, and then they're sending deer around, there's a lot of regulations now on how you can move deer across state lines.

02:00:19.000 It's because of these diseases.

02:00:21.000 If you have bad deer meat, can you cover it up with a bunch of good deer meat where that bad meat disappears?

02:00:30.000 What do you mean?

02:00:31.000 Because I remember myself cooking, and I spilled a shitload of garlic on my oatmeal, and I was making oatmeal for 15 motherfuckers in rehab.

02:00:43.000 So I just started putting more oatmeal, more oatmeal, and more milk.

02:00:47.000 To hide the garlic smell.

02:00:49.000 But in the end, everybody was farting anyway, so they still got it.

02:00:53.000 But do people do that with deer meat?

02:00:56.000 You could do that.

02:00:58.000 Yeah, you could make sausage.

02:00:58.000 People are not unethical.

02:01:00.000 They hide it.

02:01:01.000 No, no, no.

02:01:02.000 See, what we're talking about, chronic wasting disease, that's different.

02:01:06.000 It probably wouldn't even affect the taste of the animal.

02:01:09.000 They'd probably be very lean because there's not much left of them.

02:01:12.000 Or they could have just gotten it, and they could be healthy-looking, and they still have this disease.

02:01:17.000 They still test positive for it.

02:01:18.000 My fear would be about what that disease is going to do if it jumps to human beings.

02:01:24.000 And if you're consuming it, are we sure that it just goes out of your system?

02:01:27.000 Or is it just inert?

02:01:28.000 It doesn't work in your system?

02:01:30.000 Could it work eventually?

02:01:31.000 Is it something that has an incubation period that maybe not now?

02:01:35.000 Maybe it will have one in five years from now, or ten years from now.

02:01:38.000 Maybe the version of chronic wasting disease, if it evolves and changes.

02:01:41.000 It's going to be making the jump to humans.

02:01:44.000 That's a scary fucking disease to make the jump to humans.

02:01:48.000 There's a bunch of those out there.

02:01:49.000 Like bird flu.

02:01:50.000 Yeah, man.

02:01:51.000 And then there's the ones that we make.

02:01:55.000 Gonorrhea.

02:01:56.000 No, like COVID. They fucking made that shit in a lab.

02:01:59.000 They made it in a lab.

02:02:01.000 It's spread across the whole world.

02:02:03.000 You think they made AIDS in a lab?

02:02:05.000 Did you say like AIDS? Like AIDS. I read that somewhere.

02:02:08.000 They make all that shit in labs. 0.84

02:02:12.000 Well...

02:02:12.000 Wasn't it like part of chemical warfare, right?

02:02:17.000 That is a part of chemical warfare, yeah.

02:02:19.000 Like putting disease blankets on natives, you know, and... 0.99

02:02:23.000 Well, they've done a bunch of fucking studies.

02:02:25.000 Like, that's the big conspiracy theory about Lyme disease.

02:02:28.000 No, I'm sorry, the natives had influenza blankets.

02:02:29.000 That's what they had.

02:02:30.000 Oh, yeah.

02:02:31.000 No, no, no.

02:02:32.000 That was smallpox.

02:02:33.000 Smallpox.

02:02:34.000 But I don't know if that's even true because I don't think they really knew how diseases were spread back then.

02:02:41.000 I don't think they knew that you could just put scabs on a blanket and give people smallpox.

02:02:45.000 And if you had smallpox, are you trying to dish out smallpox?

02:02:48.000 Are you trying to catch it so you're handling it and then putting it in blankets?

02:02:52.000 It seems like an exaggerated cruelty of what happened.

02:02:56.000 And what happened was Europeans came over here. 0.99

02:02:59.000 The Native Americans had whatever you want to call them, the indigenous people.

02:03:03.000 They did not have any immunity to smallpox.

02:03:07.000 And it wiped out 90 percent of them.

02:03:09.000 Diseases from North Americans or from Europeans, rather, coming to North America, they wiped out everybody with disease. 0.96

02:03:16.000 It's somewhere in the neighborhood of 90% of the people that were here are gone because of disease.

02:03:22.000 So, you know, when people want to think that there's no way to prepare, like, a group of human beings that has no immunity.

02:03:35.000 You know, 1492. There's no way to prepare.

02:03:38.000 There's no way to prepare anybody.

02:03:40.000 You're coming in with these stinky European streets filled with shit water, right? 1.00

02:03:47.000 Everybody's got some funky Parasite, funky disease.

02:03:51.000 They probably fucking stink.

02:03:53.000 They're probably infested with all...

02:03:55.000 They probably smell that boredom all the way.

02:03:57.000 They probably have viruses fighting viruses inside their body. 0.96

02:04:02.000 Coughing phlegm and blood and they're drinking whiskey and they come over to...

02:04:06.000 They're probably having sex with each other. 1.00

02:04:07.000 Fuck yeah.

02:04:08.000 And it's probably...

02:04:09.000 None of it's consensual.

02:04:10.000 It's probably animals biting each other and holding each other down and fucking each other.

02:04:14.000 And then they come to North America and they start slaughtering people and the... 1.00

02:04:18.000 There's this one...

02:04:19.000 We've talked about this before.

02:04:22.000 He was like a bishop or some religious man who chronicled one of Christopher Columbus's early interactions with these people.

02:04:30.000 And it's horrific shit, man.

02:04:33.000 Cutting people's arms off if they don't bring back their weight in gold and dashing babies on rocks in front of their parents.

02:04:41.000 Horrific shit, man.

02:04:43.000 And those are the kind of people that brought those diseases. 0.78

02:04:47.000 That's like a real demon horde.

02:04:49.000 Crazy, huh?

02:04:50.000 Crazy.

02:04:51.000 A real demon horde of people who come over on a boat stinking, covered in their own shit, breathing diseases on everybody.

02:05:00.000 Everybody's dying.

02:05:01.000 So unhealthy.

02:05:03.000 I know, man.

02:05:04.000 I think about that pirate.

02:05:09.000 I don't know, one of the pirates.

02:05:11.000 Blackbeard?

02:05:11.000 Blackbeard, man.

02:05:12.000 He was full of gonorrhea.

02:05:14.000 Oh, I bet.

02:05:14.000 And he would drop mercury on his penis to cure his diseases on his penis.

02:05:25.000 Oh, my God.

02:05:25.000 Because that's all they had.

02:05:27.000 What a good move.

02:05:28.000 Who invented that?

02:05:29.000 What asshole was like, try mercury?

02:05:31.000 He probably was on a pirate ship somewhere, met a voodoo doctor and said, hey, man. 0.98

02:05:36.000 Mercury, put it in your dick. 0.98

02:05:37.000 Did Mercury kill his dick?

02:05:39.000 Yeah.

02:05:39.000 It says, when he held prisoners for ransom, such as the governor's son during the week-long Charlestown blockade in 1718, he asked for expensive medical supplies.

02:05:50.000 This included liquid mercury, which, when injected through a urethral syringe, was a common, ineffective treatment for syphilis.

02:06:00.000 Injected through your pee hole with a fucking syringe. 0.71

02:06:06.000 Yo! 1.00

02:06:07.000 Blackbeard had up to 14 wives in different ports.

02:06:11.000 Wow.

02:06:12.000 Damn.

02:06:15.000 Somebody needs to do a movie about that guy.

02:06:16.000 Imagine, man.

02:06:17.000 He had the money to put mercury in his dick.

02:06:20.000 The rest of the crew probably didn't.

02:06:22.000 So they're fucking everything, man.

02:06:24.000 Fucking shit up.

02:06:25.000 There's this temple in China.

02:06:28.000 That they are afraid to go into.

02:06:30.000 They discovered it, and this emperor, when he died, was such a great emperor that he had this whole field of terracotta statues that were built that looked like warriors that are guarding him.

02:06:42.000 It's a crazy discovery that they had.

02:06:45.000 They're giant, right?

02:06:46.000 But the ground all around where this temple is tests for high levels of mercury.

02:06:53.000 And the ancient story is that anybody who ever dared open up this temple, open up this tomb, rather, where this emperor is buried, will drown in mercury.

02:07:04.000 I thought you were going to say they got gonorrhea.

02:07:06.000 No.

02:07:07.000 Imagine drowning in mercury.

02:07:09.000 Imagine, like, 2,000 years ago, a dude sets up a booby trap for greedy people and sets it up where he fills the entire tomb up with mercury.

02:07:18.000 First of all, is that even possible?

02:07:20.000 How much mercury would you have to handle, and how many people would have to die from that mercury?

02:07:25.000 Because imagine, first of all, where did they even get it?

02:07:28.000 Yeah, where did they get mercury in 2,000 plus years ago?

02:07:32.000 Do you know that story about that emperor and his temple?

02:07:37.000 No, Teotihuacan is Aztec.

02:07:44.000 Yeah, that's probably a common booby track, I bet.

02:07:48.000 But this one where there's...

02:07:50.000 Temple in China. 0.79

02:07:51.000 On top of Google, it says temple drowned in Mercury refers to the temple of Teotihuacan.

02:07:55.000 Can you say temple booby-trapped with Mercury in China?

02:08:00.000 I think it's like the first emperor of China.

02:08:03.000 It says it could have been a thing that they did on Earth.

02:08:06.000 It says it was in China.

02:08:08.000 Yeah, this is the one.

02:08:10.000 So there's one that they have not entered into.

02:08:14.000 I think this is the one with the terracotta statues in front of it.

02:08:17.000 I think there's a common thing when great people died, they probably made a terracotta army for them.

02:08:23.000 When they find these things, it's like...

02:08:26.000 Here it is.

02:08:30.000 It's us talking about it.

02:08:31.000 Crazy story of First Emperor of China's Tomb.

02:08:34.000 That's me and Schultz talking about it, right?

02:08:37.000 Click on that.

02:08:40.000 So I'll remember.

02:08:41.000 It's not our video.

02:08:42.000 It's my fucking video, bitch. 1.00

02:08:44.000 It's somebody else's video.

02:08:45.000 Somebody else uploaded it, I should say.

02:08:46.000 Well, that's ridiculous, but it's ours, right?

02:08:48.000 Yeah.

02:08:49.000 So what do you say to Zoom?

02:08:51.000 They would have a copyright on my voice?

02:08:53.000 I don't want to get into it, but yeah, we probably have the revenues probably come into our thing because there are people claiming it, but it's up.

02:08:59.000 I'm just saying.

02:09:00.000 That's why I've been bringing that up.

02:09:02.000 A lot of the clips that I watched are from other people sharing them.

02:09:05.000 I was just saying, it's not ours, so I don't know if they've edited or not.

02:09:07.000 Okay, don't put it up then.

02:09:10.000 Yeah.

02:09:10.000 Got it.

02:09:11.000 But anyway, the point is, there's this tomb in China that's supposedly booby-trapped with tons of liquid mercury.

02:09:17.000 I'm sure Jamie will find it.

02:09:18.000 But this area around it apparently tests high for mercury.

02:09:23.000 So they think that it might be a true story, and they don't want to go in there.

02:09:27.000 They don't want to fucking open up the door and die.

02:09:28.000 Which is wild that this dude set this up, if he did, 2,000-plus years ago.

02:09:33.000 I don't even remember how many thousands of years ago it was, but it was insanely impressive.

02:09:38.000 Wow.

02:09:40.000 Amazing.

02:09:41.000 To think of something like that and it still works.

02:09:43.000 Yeah, like where do you, while Jamie's looking this up, where the fuck do you think they get mercury and how much can they get?

02:09:49.000 How much can they have back then?

02:09:51.000 I've only seen in a thermometer.

02:09:53.000 I know, like where are they getting it?

02:09:55.000 Throughout antiquity, remember we've talked about Cinnabar before?

02:09:58.000 Cinnabar.

02:09:59.000 It's where they got red stuff also.

02:10:03.000 Cinnabar in antiquity was the source of all mercury.

02:10:06.000 So how did they do it?

02:10:07.000 Was it a pool of it?

02:10:10.000 How did they do it?

02:10:11.000 Does it say how they did it?

02:10:12.000 To extract, you need to roast it in air, converting the sulfur to sulfur dioxide.

02:10:17.000 While the mercury is released as vapor, it can be then condensed.

02:10:20.000 Since the mercury boils at 357 Celsius, this process needs temperatures well within.

02:10:24.000 They need some kilns. 0.75

02:10:25.000 They had those.

02:10:27.000 Wow.

02:10:28.000 So they just cooked up mercury.

02:10:29.000 It's hard to do, but they did it.

02:10:32.000 Wow.

02:10:32.000 Well, if they can make a temple like this guy had, they can cook up mercury and fill that temple.

02:10:37.000 That is crazy to think of.

02:10:40.000 Maybe there's going to be a way with new technology where they can pierce into the ground, where they can see into things without having to actually go in there physically.

02:10:50.000 Because I know they're doing the LIDAR stuff.

02:10:52.000 I know they can kind of detect where they used to be agriculture and places.

02:10:56.000 This article is someone digging into, is this claim real?

02:10:59.000 And this says that even if...

02:11:03.000 So even though mercury, either as a cinnabar or as the elemental metal, has been found in tombs dating as far back as the second millennium BC, it's not clear why it was put there.

02:11:13.000 Might its toxicity have acted as a deterrent to grave looters?

02:11:17.000 Probably not.

02:11:18.000 The dangers of mercury fumes were not recognized until Han times.

02:11:21.000 If so, it seems, there's a lot of mercury in the burial chamber.

02:11:24.000 It's likely to be either a preservative or an anti-theft device.

02:11:29.000 So the big theory is that it's an anti-theft device, and that's why people are terrified of going in there.

02:11:36.000 Here, hold it right here.

02:11:37.000 Based on estimates of mercury production from the Song era and allowing for the imperfections of the earlier refinement process, he thinks the chamber might have contained at most 100 tons of the liquid metal.

02:11:54.000 Holy shit.

02:11:58.000 A hundred tons!

02:12:00.000 How did Blackbeard fight this shit?

02:12:04.000 Well, that wasn't Blackbeard, that was China. 0.94

02:12:07.000 How did they fight mercury back then?

02:12:11.000 Shiver me timbers!

02:12:13.000 Oh, they have like a...

02:12:14.000 Look at that.

02:12:14.000 That was the device they stuck in their dick?

02:12:17.000 And that's a saying, right?

02:12:19.000 Shiver me timbers?

02:12:21.000 I think they're saying that just for funsies.

02:12:26.000 Yeah.

02:12:26.000 Yeah, they found this in a wreck.

02:12:28.000 Oh my god, this guy had a mercury syringe in Iraq.

02:12:32.000 For my peepee.

02:12:33.000 And look, it's all rough looking and it's not even polished good.

02:12:37.000 Man, he probably was drawing in his map.

02:12:39.000 Don't go over there, man.

02:12:40.000 If you're going to go to this island, take lots of mercury.

02:12:43.000 Meanwhile, they all died from that, right?

02:12:45.000 Syphilis.

02:12:45.000 Look at this.

02:12:46.000 A pump cluster, which would have been to use pump fluid into the rectum, allowing the body to quickly absorb it.

02:12:52.000 They were taking...

02:12:55.000 Like animals?

02:12:56.000 They're boofin. 1.00

02:12:57.000 They're boofin. 1.00

02:12:58.000 So they're doing that for drugs?

02:13:00.000 Pump liquid into the rectum.

02:13:02.000 We're gonna figure out what they're doing.

02:13:03.000 Yeah, liquid into the rectum. 0.90

02:13:05.000 Well, aren't people doing that like moonshine?

02:13:06.000 Don't they pour moonshine in their asshole? 1.00

02:13:08.000 This is what I heard.

02:13:09.000 They pour coffee now.

02:13:10.000 I heard people take tampons filled with vodka and stuff them in their asshole. 0.99

02:13:16.000 I mean, they've been doing it since the days of the pirates, so it's not new.

02:13:22.000 There you go.

02:13:22.000 Bro, what the fuck is wrong with people?

02:13:24.000 Severe dehydration by pumping fluid in the ass. 0.61

02:13:28.000 People like putting stuff on their butts.

02:13:29.000 And also a bloodletting instrument called a porringer.

02:13:33.000 I had a buddy of mine, and he did his medical residency in Miami in the 1980s during the cocaine times.

02:13:40.000 And he said, dude, that's where he did his residency show.

02:13:42.000 He was in the emergency room.

02:13:43.000 So it was like every day someone's coming in with something stuffed up their ass.

02:13:47.000 They're coked out of their mind.

02:13:48.000 They got G.I. Joe stuffed up their ass.

02:13:50.000 He found people with light bulbs, those twisty pinecone-looking light bulbs stuck up their ass.

02:13:55.000 Damn.

02:13:56.000 All kinds of things stuck up their ass.

02:13:58.000 I did a show at Lompoc State Penitentiary, and one of the guards told me, That some guy made a vibrator out of seven handballs.

02:14:12.000 You know, the one, the void.

02:14:14.000 And he taped them all up.

02:14:16.000 And then, how do you guys know?

02:14:18.000 Well, he didn't tie them up too good and they were all stuck in there to take them all out.

02:14:24.000 Oh, no.

02:14:25.000 He didn't tie him up good?

02:14:27.000 Yeah, because he didn't put enough wrapping, I guess.

02:14:29.000 Oh, no.

02:14:29.000 So they had to go in his butt and get all those balls?

02:14:31.000 Yeah.

02:14:31.000 How many were in there?

02:14:32.000 Like five.

02:14:33.000 Whatever.

02:14:34.000 How many balls make this? 0.99

02:14:40.000 And you thought he was hiding a knife.

02:14:43.000 That's a hard way to go, too, because sometimes people die that way.

02:14:46.000 You get, you know, toxic shock.

02:14:48.000 Something goes wrong.

02:14:49.000 You tear your rectum. 0.78

02:14:51.000 You bleed out internally.

02:14:54.000 Stuffing things up your ass. 0.86

02:14:55.000 Like the Mr. Hand story.

02:14:56.000 You know the Mr. Hand story, right?

02:14:58.000 No.

02:14:59.000 There's a whole movie based on it called Zoo.

02:15:01.000 Zoo is a...

02:15:02.000 It's a thing called Zophilia, where people are sexually attracted to farm animals. 0.98

02:15:06.000 And so these people met up online, and they found out that you're still allowed to fuck animals in Washington State.

02:15:13.000 So they all went to Washington State.

02:15:15.000 It was Washington State, right?

02:15:16.000 Yeah.

02:15:16.000 It was based on a true story.

02:15:17.000 Oh, right.

02:15:18.000 And...

02:15:19.000 This dude got fucked to death by a horse.

02:15:21.000 They bring him to the emergency room, like, what's going on?

02:15:23.000 And, you know, everyone's acting a little shifty.

02:15:25.000 And then they have to tell the whole story.

02:15:27.000 And they find out these people have, like, hundreds of hours of people getting fucked by donkeys and horses and shit.

02:15:32.000 And they all did this out on this weird ranch.

02:15:37.000 Wow.

02:15:38.000 Yeah.

02:15:39.000 That's how the dude died.

02:15:40.000 One of the first books, you know, there used to be a lot of sex books when we were kids, and they were all nasty books about sex.

02:15:47.000 Yeah.

02:15:48.000 The first one I ever read was about people having sex with animals.

02:15:52.000 Oh, yeah.

02:15:53.000 But there were like, remember the penthouse stories or Playboy stories?

02:15:56.000 Mm-hmm.

02:15:56.000 But these were all with animals.

02:15:58.000 And I remember the woman telling this whole story about having sex with a horse. 0.91

02:16:04.000 Jesus Christ.

02:16:05.000 And like just...

02:16:07.000 Riding that fool.

02:16:08.000 You never see the Mr. Hands video.

02:16:10.000 There's a video, one video that got leaked online way back in the day.

02:16:14.000 Brian Redband sent it to me.

02:16:15.000 And it's this dude getting railed by the horse.

02:16:18.000 And it's not even the one where he dies, apparently.

02:16:20.000 He dies in another video.

02:16:22.000 But in this video, you see the size of the horse's dick, and you see his body, and you see his ass, and you're like, there's no way.

02:16:28.000 How many people helped him?

02:16:30.000 One guy.

02:16:31.000 One guy grabbed it and just pointed it in the right direction.

02:16:35.000 And the horse was one gigantic thrust of death, and the guy makes this horrible sound, and then his friend goes, too much?

02:16:44.000 And then his friend is like, oh, he came.

02:16:46.000 He came.

02:16:47.000 The horse came.

02:16:48.000 And you're like, this is the sickest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

02:16:51.000 And that's how that guy died.

02:16:52.000 That guy in that video that's getting fucked by that horse was the guy who eventually dies from it.

02:16:57.000 Did they put the horse to sleep afterwards?

02:16:59.000 I don't think so.

02:17:00.000 It's not the horse's fault.

02:17:01.000 The fuck did the horse do?

02:17:02.000 The horse is going to, you know, I wouldn't bend over in front of him.

02:17:06.000 Right?

02:17:07.000 He's kind of conditioned now.

02:17:08.000 It's not his fault.

02:17:08.000 The media kind of says they only found out about all this because he died.

02:17:11.000 Yes.

02:17:12.000 Yeah, that's what I said.

02:17:15.000 Was that his first time or was it a try with ponies first?

02:17:18.000 No, he had been fucked by a bunch of horses.

02:17:20.000 Or a bunch of times by the same horse.

02:17:22.000 But there was apparently many hours of this guy getting fucked by horses.

02:17:25.000 100 VHS tapes and DVDs.

02:17:27.000 But it's real, right?

02:17:28.000 It's not like an urban legend when people say I went to TJ and saw a donkey show.

02:17:32.000 You want to see it?

02:17:33.000 No.

02:17:34.000 You're going to show it?

02:17:35.000 Yeah.

02:17:35.000 This is still my old computer, I guess.

02:17:38.000 Do you have it?

02:17:39.000 You can still get it, right?

02:17:40.000 I don't know where to look.

02:17:41.000 I'll look.

02:17:42.000 I bet you could get it.

02:17:43.000 I bet if you put it up on X. X is one of the few places where...

02:17:46.000 Actually, it's actually illegal.

02:17:48.000 So maybe you can't have it on X. Hold on.

02:17:51.000 Because bestiality...

02:17:53.000 It wasn't illegal when they were doing it, though.

02:17:55.000 Yeah.

02:17:55.000 There's a point.

02:17:56.000 No, that's called bestiality when you have sex with an animal?

02:18:01.000 Yeah.

02:18:01.000 It's called...

02:18:02.000 You're fucking gross.

02:18:03.000 And what's the one when you have sex with dead bodies?

02:18:05.000 That is...

02:18:06.000 Necrophilia, right?

02:18:08.000 Necrophilia.

02:18:08.000 Don't look on X for that.

02:18:10.000 Yeah, you can't find an X. It's a different search result that pops up.

02:18:13.000 Oh, yeah, they probably gamed the search results now, right?

02:18:16.000 Yeah.

02:18:17.000 Yeah.

02:18:18.000 There's a lot of 21 and older material.

02:18:21.000 People have sex with animals, right? 0.97

02:18:24.000 Like, since you want to talk about gangs of New York, how ugly it was.

02:18:28.000 Right.

02:18:29.000 People just fucked everything that was in front of them.

02:18:31.000 Here it is.

02:18:33.000 Headphones, please.

02:18:33.000 We'll make sure.

02:18:35.000 Yeah, there it is, baby.

02:18:36.000 Do you verify that that's it?

02:18:38.000 Oh, that's 100% it.

02:18:39.000 Okay.

02:18:39.000 Absolutely.

02:18:40.000 Go full screen.

02:18:42.000 And don't show it on screen at all.

02:18:44.000 Do you want me to mute the sound when we play this?

02:18:47.000 Nope.

02:18:48.000 Nope.

02:18:48.000 Let's hear it.

02:18:53.000 It's on a porn site, I guess.

02:18:57.000 Here we go.

02:18:58.000 Here's the sound.

02:19:01.000 That's reverse him?

02:19:02.000 So that's the guy's butt. 0.52

02:19:03.000 The horse gets on top of him.

02:19:05.000 And then the guy grabs it.

02:19:06.000 Look at this.

02:19:07.000 Watch this.

02:19:07.000 Look at the distance.

02:19:08.000 Look at the amount of tissue we're talking about here.

02:19:10.000 Watch this.

02:19:14.000 Okay.

02:19:34.000 This is on a loop.

02:19:38.000 This is repeating.

02:19:39.000 This is repeating, yeah.

02:19:40.000 The whole thing really only lasts a couple of seconds.

02:19:44.000 Wow.

02:19:45.000 That guy died.

02:19:46.000 The guy has no ass.

02:19:47.000 The movie's fascinating, because the movie is like a documentary sort of recreation of those people, and it's not like that.

02:19:54.000 You don't see things, but you just see how fucking bananas the whole story is.

02:19:58.000 The horse is known for that, or did you grab a random horse?

02:20:02.000 Because he seemed to know what he was doing, bro.

02:20:04.000 He'd probably been fucking that guy for a long time.

02:20:07.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:20:08.000 It killed him one day, but I think he had done it a bunch of times.

02:20:11.000 You're not going to show that, right?

02:20:12.000 No, no, no.

02:20:13.000 Peter will come after us.

02:20:15.000 Who knows what I was really showing?

02:20:17.000 Yeah, we were just making noises.

02:20:19.000 That is...

02:20:20.000 Mr. Red.

02:20:23.000 My name is Mr. Red.

02:20:25.000 There's people out there that are out of their fucking minds.

02:20:29.000 They're out of their fucking mind.

02:20:31.000 You're getting fucked to death by a horse in a grainy video.

02:20:35.000 You know?

02:20:36.000 Like, what is life for you?

02:20:40.000 That would be crazy.

02:20:41.000 That's your thing.

02:20:42.000 You're getting off work at five.

02:20:43.000 And I think the guy who died was an intelligent guy.

02:20:46.000 Wasn't he an engineer?

02:20:48.000 He worked at Boeing for over eight years, yeah.

02:20:49.000 Bro, he was a Boeing engineer who liked to get fucked to death by a horse.

02:20:55.000 That horse's dick is as long as an arm. 0.97

02:20:58.000 Look at how long that dick is. 0.99

02:21:00.000 Oh, like long, long silver.

02:21:01.000 Do you see the size of that thing?

02:21:02.000 It was like 17 and a half inches.

02:21:03.000 It was gigantic.

02:21:04.000 It's probably bigger than that.

02:21:05.000 When it goes into his body, you're just like, where's the room?

02:21:09.000 Where's the space?

02:21:12.000 How?

02:21:12.000 How do you warm up to it?

02:21:15.000 I guess you start with fingers.

02:21:19.000 Then you move up to ketchup bottles.

02:21:21.000 The ability to experience certain sensations after a motorcycle accident.

02:21:25.000 Oh, so that was the only way you could feel things?

02:21:28.000 It started going ham.

02:21:29.000 Oh, God.

02:21:30.000 That's terrifying.

02:21:32.000 That's terrifying.

02:21:33.000 I don't know why I started filming it, though.

02:21:35.000 Well, you know what?

02:21:36.000 That also kind of makes sense, right?

02:21:38.000 Because we've talked about this many times, about brain injuries.

02:21:43.000 About people with brain injuries, they get very impulsive, and they do reckless things.

02:21:47.000 That totally makes sense.

02:21:48.000 This guy had a motorcycle accident that fucked up the way he feels thing. 0.95

02:21:52.000 He probably got wrecked.

02:21:53.000 That's crazy, man.

02:21:54.000 So if he got wrecked, he probably got a brain injury.

02:21:57.000 And it probably turned him into a wild man.

02:21:59.000 I twisted my ankle, man.

02:22:00.000 Now I want a moose to fuck me in the ass. 1.00

02:22:04.000 You want to get fucked to death by a wild animal.

02:22:07.000 You want to be the first guy to get buttfucked by a bear.

02:22:11.000 Yeah, but you break your brain in that way.

02:22:14.000 Like, for some people, they're just...

02:22:16.000 Different now.

02:22:17.000 Yeah, man.

02:22:18.000 Now they're different.

02:22:19.000 I've seen it happen to a bunch of dudes when they've been knocked out.

02:22:23.000 Been knocked out really bad.

02:22:25.000 But that's crazy.

02:22:26.000 Get knocked out and the fuck out and you wake up and go, is there a horse nearby?

02:22:31.000 Because I'm really horny right now.

02:22:32.000 Well, who knows what's going on with the chemistry of your brain.

02:22:35.000 You just want experience.

02:22:37.000 You want excitement.

02:22:38.000 You want to see if you can suck a horse's cock. 1.00

02:22:41.000 But that goes back to your old joke, man.

02:22:44.000 The old joke to say, hey.

02:22:46.000 You take a break today.

02:22:49.000 Yeah, take your day off.

02:22:50.000 You know what I said?

02:22:51.000 You had that joke about up in the Playboy Mansion and you said that, what's his name?

02:22:56.000 Well, whatever.

02:22:57.000 He would have, every once in a while, a gay would pop in. 1.00

02:23:01.000 And then he goes, and then the punchline was, nah, man.

02:23:04.000 You take a break.

02:23:05.000 Don't start fucking guys.

02:23:06.000 You take a break.

02:23:07.000 You take a break.

02:23:08.000 Yeah, relax.

02:23:08.000 You get a little crazy.

02:23:09.000 Yeah, you fucking take chicks a day. 1.00

02:23:11.000 You know that for a guy.

02:23:12.000 You take a break.

02:23:13.000 I think for some people with brain injuries, though, they get addicted to skydiving, they get addicted to gambling, they get addicted to really reckless behavior.

02:23:21.000 Gary Busey was in a head injury, right?

02:23:23.000 A bad one.

02:23:23.000 I wonder what he's up to.

02:23:24.000 He looks like he's been in an accident.

02:23:27.000 He fell on a motorcycle and hit his head on the curb with no helmet on.

02:23:33.000 Yeah.

02:23:33.000 It was a bad one.

02:23:34.000 So California didn't used to have a helmet law back then.

02:23:37.000 It was because of him, though.

02:23:39.000 Well, I don't know if it's because of him.

02:23:41.000 Yeah, I did read that.

02:23:42.000 He started a big push to help that.

02:23:45.000 So he helped it, but I know that people wanted help.

02:23:49.000 I'm torn on that shit.

02:23:51.000 It's like, yeah, you should have helmet laws because there's 18-year-old boys out there that can have motorcycles, and that's fucking crazy.

02:23:56.000 That's crazy.

02:23:57.000 I am so glad that when I was 18, I never got a fucking motorcycle.

02:24:02.000 Once you thought of a motorcycle like...

02:24:05.000 70 miles an hour, the helmet is like nothing, right?

02:24:08.000 Depends on how you fall.

02:24:09.000 How you fall, right?

02:24:10.000 Yeah, you might slide.

02:24:11.000 If you slide, you probably just get your skin ripped from your body.

02:24:14.000 Did you survive it yet?

02:24:15.000 Well, just woke up to a fetish.

02:24:17.000 Yeah, but that's the thing, man.

02:24:18.000 If you get really banged, you could have some screwy brainwaves after that.

02:24:24.000 And you could think everyone's out to get you.

02:24:26.000 People get real weird.

02:24:28.000 They get real weird.

02:24:29.000 And they feel extra vulnerable.

02:24:31.000 You know, their brain's not working the same anymore, so they don't know who they are anymore.

02:24:35.000 They don't feel like they used to feel.

02:24:36.000 Yeah.

02:24:37.000 They started to feel crazy.

02:24:38.000 You know, and they start thinking that no one wants to help them.

02:24:41.000 You start getting really angry and real negative.

02:24:44.000 And then you get fucked by a horse.

02:24:48.000 It's just...

02:24:49.000 All the things that you could be doing, that that's how you chose to go out.

02:24:55.000 All the things that you could be doing.

02:24:58.000 You know?

02:24:58.000 You could be seeing the world.

02:25:01.000 He said, nah, I want a sea biscuit.

02:25:03.000 You could be a food blogger.

02:25:05.000 Nah.

02:25:06.000 Ponies.

02:25:07.000 You could be a fashion influencer.

02:25:10.000 Nope.

02:25:11.000 Nah, I want to be Willie Shoemaker.

02:25:12.000 I want to get taken out by a horse.

02:25:14.000 Black stallion.

02:25:15.000 In some dirty barn somewhere.

02:25:18.000 That's where you breathe your last breath.

02:25:20.000 In a dirty barn with horse jizz in your asshole. 0.99

02:25:23.000 What did Fred do?

02:25:25.000 They freaked out.

02:25:26.000 They brought him to the hospital.

02:25:27.000 They tried to drop him off.

02:25:29.000 Then the cops start questioning him, I believe.

02:25:32.000 I'm paraphrasing for sure.

02:25:33.000 But I think that's how they got busted.

02:25:35.000 They brought off the guy and he's got a giant hole in his asshole.

02:25:38.000 He's pale like a sheet.

02:25:41.000 Like, what happened?

02:25:44.000 Why is the inside of his body missing?

02:25:47.000 Why does he have a fucking...

02:25:50.000 Telephone pole.

02:25:51.000 Sir, why could we see his shoes through his mouth?

02:25:53.000 What is going on with this dude?

02:25:55.000 What did you do?

02:25:56.000 What'd you do?

02:25:58.000 That story about Jimi Hendrix still freaks me out.

02:26:01.000 The manager?

02:26:02.000 I've been thinking about it the entire time we've been talking.

02:26:03.000 I go back to the idea of them just pouring pills down the greatest guitarist of all time's mouth and then just pouring jugs of wine down, holding them down, and that's how he dies.

02:26:15.000 Motherfucker, that's scary.

02:26:17.000 His manager.

02:26:19.000 Motherfucker. 0.99

02:26:20.000 His US manager said this story is not true just for...

02:26:23.000 Of course.

02:26:23.000 I would say that too.

02:26:24.000 Yeah.

02:26:27.000 I would say that too.

02:26:28.000 I mean, I don't know if it's true.

02:26:30.000 Who fucking knows?

02:26:31.000 But the idea...

02:26:32.000 And he did.

02:26:32.000 But he definitely did die.

02:26:34.000 He definitely did die by asphyxiation.

02:26:36.000 Some people say also that the CIA did it.

02:26:40.000 Jimi Hendrix?

02:26:41.000 I don't know.

02:26:42.000 I haven't heard that one.

02:26:43.000 But if anything happens, people always think the CIA was involved somehow.

02:26:46.000 Anything, no matter what it is, right?

02:26:48.000 Yeah.

02:26:49.000 Pretty much.

02:26:50.000 They always say that.

02:26:50.000 Yeah, I don't trust nothing.

02:26:52.000 Secret agent, man.

02:26:53.000 Yeah, it's either them or it's China or it's Russia.

02:26:56.000 Who's really sending me this text telling me that I'm qualified for the $4,000 in savings?

02:27:02.000 You know those texts you get?

02:27:04.000 Who's sending those?

02:27:05.000 Who's sending those?

02:27:06.000 You know those texts that you get?

02:27:07.000 Like random texts?

02:27:08.000 Hey, congratulations.

02:27:09.000 You've received approval for your loan.

02:27:11.000 Oh, I don't get those.

02:27:12.000 You don't get those?

02:27:12.000 I get them for a dude named Ray.

02:27:14.000 So Ray had my fucking phone number before I moved here.

02:27:18.000 Fucking Ray.

02:27:19.000 Ray must have signed up to every goddamn list.

02:27:22.000 Ray must have put in that number every chance he could.

02:27:25.000 I keep getting these fucking text messages for Ray, and it's all like loans, and you qualify for this, and this is available, we're looking for someone to hire.

02:27:35.000 There's always some weird scams.

02:27:37.000 You qualify for aluminum sightings.

02:27:40.000 I don't understand how they can't stop that from happening.

02:27:43.000 It seems weird that you get so many of them.

02:27:46.000 You get so many of these scam things, or they get a hold of your phone number and just spam you lies.

02:27:52.000 I think you get to a certain age, 50, and I think you're gullible to these tricks now.

02:27:58.000 Well, I think young people are gullible, too.

02:27:59.000 They send it to 22-year-olds, hey, man, you want to fix your home?

02:28:05.000 How do you have a home?

02:28:05.000 If you're dumb.

02:28:07.000 If you're dumb and you're 22 and you get something that you qualify for $4,000, oh shit, they think this is me.

02:28:12.000 Then I say yes.

02:28:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll take that money.

02:28:14.000 And then, you know, whatever the fuck they do.

02:28:16.000 I don't know what they do.

02:28:17.000 There was a guy in LA that was calling women at their jobs and telling them they had won something, and he convinced them to cut their heels off their shoes.

02:28:30.000 And he, what, film it?

02:28:31.000 No, he was just calling them out randomly.

02:28:33.000 Hey, you just won blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

02:28:34.000 All you gotta do is cut your heels off your shoes right now.

02:28:38.000 And women were doing it and he called a bunch of chicks and they all just fucked up their shoes for nothing. 0.98

02:28:44.000 Oh, what an asshole.

02:28:47.000 It's funny, but it's also like...

02:28:48.000 That person was mean, I wasn't.

02:28:49.000 But it was somebody...

02:28:50.000 What a rude thing to do to a lady. 1.00

02:28:51.000 Especially if it's your favorite shoes and you only have one pair.

02:28:54.000 Not my red bottoms.

02:28:56.000 Bro, shoes are hard to get.

02:28:57.000 Those bitches are expensive, right? 1.00

02:28:59.000 Yeah.

02:28:59.000 Why aren't we so lucky we don't have to wear shoes that hurt?

02:29:03.000 Girls wear shoes that hurt. 1.00

02:29:04.000 They can only wear them for so long.

02:29:06.000 Like, I can't imagine.

02:29:08.000 I don't even like wearing things other than sneakers.

02:29:11.000 Yeah.

02:29:12.000 Or like a comfortable boot.

02:29:13.000 Like, you know, I got a couple pairs of these Origin boots.

02:29:17.000 They're real comfortable.

02:29:18.000 Easy to walk around in.

02:29:20.000 Like, nice, smooth leather.

02:29:21.000 I don't think I ever have boots.

02:29:24.000 Boots are great.

02:29:25.000 But the point is, they don't hurt.

02:29:26.000 I've never had cowboy boots.

02:29:27.000 I've had Doc Martin, but not cowboy boots.

02:29:29.000 The point is, they don't hurt to wear.

02:29:30.000 But ladies are always wearing shoes that hurt. 1.00

02:29:34.000 What a crazy choice.

02:29:35.000 Five-inch heels.

02:29:37.000 Stilettos.

02:29:38.000 That's probably why they have better pain tolerance, too.

02:29:39.000 They have to give birth, and they wear shoes that hurt all the time, so they have to deal with pain.

02:29:48.000 We're so lucky we don't have any of that stupid shit.

02:29:51.000 Imagine if we had to wear makeup every day.

02:29:54.000 Imagine what it'd be like.

02:29:55.000 Like, Felipe, what have you done to your eyes?

02:29:57.000 I don't know, man.

02:29:57.000 I put mercury on them.

02:29:59.000 Isn't that interesting?

02:30:00.000 Like, women all, I mean, most.

02:30:03.000 A lot.

02:30:04.000 Let's say a lot of women wear makeup every day. 1.00

02:30:06.000 Or wake up makeup regularly.

02:30:08.000 On a regular basis, they wear makeup.

02:30:10.000 It's not a very rare occasion thing.

02:30:12.000 Most...

02:30:12.000 I don't know what the number is.

02:30:14.000 Want to find out?

02:30:15.000 Let's Google it.

02:30:16.000 Because that's probably...

02:30:17.000 A lot of that stuff's probably not healthy for you either, right?

02:30:19.000 What's in those colors?

02:30:20.000 What kind of dyes are they using? 0.74

02:30:21.000 The red dye, huh?

02:30:22.000 Like, what is all that stuff made out of?

02:30:24.000 Are we sure?

02:30:24.000 I mean, maybe some of it's really good for you.

02:30:26.000 Maybe some of it's terrible for you.

02:30:28.000 Maybe it's just like the scented candle.

02:30:29.000 Is there lipsticks?

02:30:30.000 Well, I don't know.

02:30:30.000 The lipsticks...

02:30:31.000 For the native lipsticks, it's made out of smashed little bugs.

02:30:35.000 Yeah, that's one of the red dye things too, right?

02:30:38.000 Smashed little bugs.

02:30:38.000 You put them on here.

02:30:40.000 Can't be bad for you, right?

02:30:42.000 You can't be bad as a horse up your ass.

02:30:44.000 So, what percentage?

02:30:46.000 43% reported.

02:30:48.000 Okay.

02:30:48.000 43% of U.S. women reported wearing makeup daily or weekly, but it doesn't break out the daily portion explicitly.

02:30:57.000 Rewinding to 2019, the same source noted a higher share of women wearing makeup daily.

02:31:02.000 Gen Z, 18-24 at 30%, and Millennials, 25-34 at 35%, suggesting a decline over time.

02:31:10.000 Separate 2023, YouGov poll of 1,000 U.S. women found that 38% wear makeup at least... 0.99

02:31:17.000 A few times a week or daily with older women 65 plus being the most likely to wear it daily compared to younger groups.

02:31:24.000 They probably all wore it daily back in the day, right?

02:31:27.000 You gotta keep up your looks, Gladys. 1.00

02:31:29.000 Go back up again, please.

02:31:31.000 Another study from 2017 by Statista indicated 41% of U.S. women aged 30 to 59 wear makeup daily.

02:31:41.000 Yeah, there was a woman back in, I don't know, 1800 or 1900. She was the first woman to make a woman's magazine on clothing and home gardening, how to cook.

02:31:54.000 She was the first lady to put recipes in a magazine. 0.58

02:31:56.000 Oh, yeah?

02:31:57.000 Kind of like for a homemaker.

02:31:58.000 Right.

02:31:59.000 And then, yeah.

02:32:01.000 There was a magazine back then.

02:32:03.000 I don't know what the name of the magazine, but...

02:32:04.000 Jamie, Google is makeup bad for you.

02:32:08.000 What do you think?

02:32:09.000 What do you mean?

02:32:10.000 Google, is makeup toxic? 0.99

02:32:11.000 When I was a kid, my seventh grade teacher thought it was bad.

02:32:15.000 Don't put on that makeup, young girl. 1.00

02:32:17.000 There's toxic makeup for sure. 0.84

02:32:20.000 What are the ingredients in makeup that are toxic?

02:32:23.000 The Wizard of Oz guy got...

02:32:25.000 Oh, that's right.

02:32:26.000 The lady with the green makeup, yes.

02:32:27.000 Bro, no.

02:32:28.000 The lady with the green makeup, the Wizard of Oz, or the Tin Man.

02:32:32.000 The witch.

02:32:32.000 Yeah, they got real sick, man.

02:32:34.000 Mercury.

02:32:34.000 Yes, some makeup can be toxic.

02:32:36.000 Wow.

02:32:38.000 Lead, mercury, and arsenic.

02:32:40.000 Heavy metals can be found in cosmetics.

02:32:42.000 Phthalates, common contaminant in cosmetics.

02:32:45.000 Formaldehyde, a chemical found in some makeup.

02:32:47.000 Yeah, man.

02:32:47.000 That's why a lot of comedians back then stopped blackfacing.

02:32:54.000 Man, that's scary shit.

02:32:58.000 That's scary shit.

02:33:00.000 I wonder if that contributes to a higher incidence of certain issues, health issues that maybe women have that use it daily. 1.00

02:33:08.000 I wonder how many...

02:33:09.000 I wonder, right?

02:33:10.000 How about the people that worked the news back then in the 450?

02:33:14.000 They wore a shitload of makeup.

02:33:16.000 Oh, yeah.

02:33:17.000 Yeah.

02:33:18.000 And what the fuck kind of makeup did they have back then?

02:33:20.000 That was probably all chemicals.

02:33:21.000 Cake makeup, man.

02:33:22.000 Yeah, bro.

02:33:23.000 What the fuck did they make that stuff out of?

02:33:25.000 Yeah.

02:33:27.000 Yeah, man.

02:33:28.000 You don't have to wear that, ladies. 1.00

02:33:30.000 We're not that complicated.

02:33:32.000 You guys gotta wear makeup when you do the UFC fights?

02:33:34.000 No, I don't wear anything.

02:33:37.000 I'm like, are you crazy?

02:33:38.000 I have to go in there with dudes who literally have their heads split open.

02:33:41.000 You know?

02:33:42.000 I have to interview people that are soaked in blood, and sometimes the blood is spitting out onto the microphone while I'm talking.

02:33:49.000 That happens?

02:33:50.000 All the time.

02:33:50.000 I get blood on me all the time.

02:33:52.000 Like, the idea of me wearing makeup to look better while I'm out there.

02:33:56.000 While they're dealing with people that just got their face punched in is crazy.

02:34:01.000 That's ridiculous.

02:34:02.000 I won't do it.

02:34:03.000 So when they're speaking to you, like, when you get a fighter that's real bloody, like, you can, what's, um, because you're really up close to these guys.

02:34:11.000 What do you see in their eyes after a fight, like, when they're, and they're also bleeding, man?

02:34:16.000 Do you see, like, you see, like, their insensity, man?

02:34:19.000 Do you see things, like, other people don't see?

02:34:22.000 When you're interviewing them?

02:34:23.000 Well, I'm sure you see something.

02:34:24.000 You're there in a fight right in front of them.

02:34:26.000 Yeah, I think you're probably gonna get more of a sense of how they feel after it's over.

02:34:30.000 Like there's like some historic moments where you could see that when the fighter wins, it's like it's a big fucking deal.

02:34:36.000 And one of my favorite ones was when Israel Adesanya had his second UFC fight against Alex Pereira and he knocks him down, knocks him out.

02:34:44.000 Cold, beautiful, clean right hand, then finished him on the ground, and then fires off three arrows into his body. 1.00

02:34:50.000 Yeah, I remember that guy.

02:34:51.000 Bro!

02:34:52.000 I mean, that was a fucking classic moment.

02:34:56.000 And then he grabs a microphone and gives one of the most inspirational speeches.

02:35:01.000 Pull that speech up, because it's amazing.

02:35:04.000 This is my favorite moment, I think, of anybody after they won a fight.

02:35:09.000 Because it's just like, this was real, in the moment.

02:35:13.000 From a guy who's the fucking boogeyman, dude.

02:35:16.000 Alex Pereira is the boogeyman.

02:35:18.000 He's the scariest motherfucker in the sport.

02:35:20.000 He knocked Izzy out twice.

02:35:22.000 He left hook KO'd him in kickboxing, and then he beat him down in the UFC, and then Izzy finally knocked him out.

02:35:28.000 And when he knocked him out, when he fires those arrows into his body, and then...

02:35:33.000 See if you can find that speech.

02:35:34.000 And when you hear it, man, you're like, wow.

02:35:36.000 That's like...

02:35:37.000 That's what makes the whole career worth it.

02:35:41.000 These moments where you reach out and you touch the world.

02:35:45.000 I hope every one of you can feel this level of happiness just one time in your life.

02:35:54.000 You will never feel this level of happiness if you don't go for something, when they knock you down, when they talk about you.

02:36:01.000 If you stay down, you will never ever get that resolve.

02:36:06.000 Fortify your mind and feel this level of happiness as you rise.

02:36:09.000 One time in your life, but I'm blessed to be able to feel this s*** again and again and again and again and again.

02:36:18.000 Amazing.

02:36:19.000 Amazing!

02:36:20.000 That's like human fuel.

02:36:23.000 You hear someone saying something like that after doing something like that, that can help you all throughout your day.

02:36:28.000 That's human fuel. 0.81

02:36:32.000 Amazing.

02:36:35.000 Amazing.

02:36:37.000 If you're gonna go, go all the way or don't even try.

02:36:40.000 Yeah.

02:36:41.000 Charles Bukowski.

02:36:43.000 That guy was out there.

02:36:44.000 If you're gonna go, go all the way or don't even try, this could mean losing girlfriends, it could mean losing wives, relatives, it could be time spent in jail, lonely nights in the dark, lonely nights by yourself.

02:36:59.000 Yeah.

02:36:59.000 But in the end, it's all worth it.

02:37:01.000 I don't know the rest.

02:37:02.000 Yeah, that's great.

02:37:03.000 Did you ever see the movie they did on with Mickey Rourke?

02:37:06.000 Both.

02:37:07.000 They did two movies?

02:37:08.000 The one with Matt Dillon called Factotum, too.

02:37:11.000 When was that?

02:37:12.000 That came out in 2000-something, and he plays them at a different...

02:37:15.000 There's Barfly and there's Factotum. 0.96

02:37:19.000 Factotum, he plays them at that age.

02:37:22.000 He's way too handsome.

02:37:23.000 How dare he?

02:37:25.000 He plays them good.

02:37:26.000 How dare he?

02:37:27.000 He's way too handsome.

02:37:29.000 That's outrageous.

02:37:30.000 Mickey Rourke made himself look fucked up.

02:37:32.000 A toast to all my friends!

02:37:34.000 You know, he like...

02:37:35.000 Yeah.

02:37:37.000 Charles Bukowski is actually in bar flight.

02:37:39.000 He's one of the drunks in the bar.

02:37:41.000 Yeah.

02:37:42.000 How women in the world aren't whores. 1.00

02:37:45.000 Just mine.

02:37:48.000 You ever see one of those readings that he used to do?

02:37:52.000 He used to do these readings.

02:37:53.000 He'd read from his books and people would yell and he'd fucking have hecklers and shit.

02:37:57.000 Yell out to them.

02:37:59.000 He's just a guy, just constantly drunk with profound thoughts.

02:38:03.000 Yeah, man.

02:38:04.000 When I started reading, I wanted to read books about authors that were from Los Angeles, like in the 40s and 50s.

02:38:13.000 And I said, I gotta find something that talks about Los Angeles, these streets that I live in.

02:38:18.000 And it was Charles Bukowski.

02:38:20.000 He writes about Los Angeles.

02:38:22.000 And I found out that his inspiration was a guy named...

02:38:26.000 Oh, man, what's his name?

02:38:28.000 He writes just like Charles Bukowski.

02:38:31.000 He wrote a book called Ask the Dust and The Adventures of Arturo Bandini.

02:38:39.000 I'm lost here of his name, but John Fonte.

02:38:43.000 Yes, John Fonte.

02:38:44.000 John Fonte wrote books in the style of Charles Bukowski, and Charles Bukowski, when he found out about him, He helped him publish all his books again.

02:38:58.000 So that's why I know that John Fonte exists because John Bogoski, he republished all his books for him when he was dying of diabetes.

02:39:06.000 So after dusk, bro, he talks about Los Angeles during 1932, bro, when Los Angeles had a metro rail and the 1932 earthquake in Los Angeles.

02:39:19.000 Wow.

02:39:20.000 So this guy's from Los Angeles.

02:39:22.000 He talks about Armenians and...

02:39:24.000 Working the docs in 1920s.

02:39:27.000 Wow.

02:39:28.000 That's a great catch.

02:39:30.000 And they're alcoholics, bro.

02:39:31.000 This guy's an alcoholic and so is Charles Bukowski.

02:39:35.000 These are dudes that work jobs and still were authors.

02:39:38.000 Imagine going from those guys to TikTokers at BOA. Exactly. 1.00

02:39:45.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:39:46.000 These guys actually had jobs during the day.

02:39:49.000 Charles Bukowski, he worked at the post-op.

02:39:51.000 He never quit.

02:39:54.000 And Arturo Bandini, well, what's his name?

02:39:56.000 The other guy, he started writing for Hollywood and he just disappeared.

02:40:02.000 Oh, yeah?

02:40:02.000 Yeah.

02:40:03.000 Oh, like writing screenplays or something?

02:40:04.000 Writing screenplays.

02:40:05.000 He got into it under contract.

02:40:06.000 Yeah, man.

02:40:07.000 There's a lot of talented writers who just decide to write for a company.

02:40:10.000 They just kind of like give up on the dream, do it for a job.

02:40:14.000 Did you ever get hired to be a writer and then you said, this is not for me?

02:40:17.000 I got a book deal once and I gave them the money back because they had too much input.

02:40:23.000 They wanted to have too much input.

02:40:24.000 And then they wanted me to transcribe my stand-up.

02:40:27.000 That was one of their ideas.

02:40:28.000 I'm like, that's a terrible idea.

02:40:29.000 They're like, George Carlin did.

02:40:31.000 I'm like, well, that's fine.

02:40:32.000 I love George Carlin, but so what?

02:40:34.000 I'm not doing that.

02:40:35.000 That doesn't make any sense to me.

02:40:37.000 Why would I want the worst version of what the ideas are, which is just print?

02:40:42.000 The best version is a live, performed version.

02:40:45.000 Second best version is a video.

02:40:47.000 Worst, for sure, is print.

02:40:49.000 Audio is slightly better.

02:40:50.000 But it's like, you don't want to do that.

02:40:51.000 Why would I do that?

02:40:52.000 That's a dumb way to write a book.

02:40:53.000 I just want to write about things that I'm thinking about.

02:40:55.000 Yeah, why would you write your whole stat list on a book?

02:40:57.000 And then I realized if I'm going to write something, I have to want to.

02:41:00.000 And it has to be something that I do because I'm controlling the entire thing.

02:41:04.000 And then if they like it, they like it.

02:41:06.000 If they don't, they don't.

02:41:07.000 But it's not something that I would ever want to have somebody help me out with.

02:41:12.000 According to this article about him.

02:41:14.000 Part of the reason why he didn't explode when other writers did is because his publisher was in a legal battle for an unauthorized publication of Mein Kampf.

02:41:21.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:41:22.000 Oh, I didn't know that!

02:41:23.000 That's good to know.

02:41:24.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:41:28.000 Holy shit!

02:41:29.000 Yeah.

02:41:30.000 Wow.

02:41:31.000 The financial drain on the publisher hampered the distribution of Ask the Dust.

02:41:35.000 Yes.

02:41:36.000 While Fent put out a short story collection, Dago Red, in 1940, more than a decade would pass before another Bandini novel.

02:41:43.000 Wow.

02:41:44.000 Yeah, he disappeared.

02:41:45.000 He got in a legal battle with Adolf Hitler.

02:41:51.000 Well, his publisher did, but yeah.

02:41:53.000 That's crazy, huh?

02:41:55.000 Insane.

02:41:56.000 That's crazy.

02:41:57.000 Dude, I'm going to read that.

02:41:59.000 Is it on audio?

02:42:00.000 I hope it's on audiobook.

02:42:01.000 I'm so lazy.

02:42:02.000 Sitting down and actually reading a book right now.

02:42:05.000 It's too daunting.

02:42:07.000 It's too daunting.

02:42:09.000 Felipe, one more time.

02:42:10.000 Tell everybody special.

02:42:12.000 On Netflix.

02:42:13.000 Available right now.

02:42:14.000 Oh, my Netflix special is available right now.

02:42:18.000 Raging Fool on Netflix.

02:42:21.000 Go check it out.

02:42:22.000 Directed by my wife, Lisa O'Daniel.

02:42:25.000 And I want to give a shout out to my...

02:42:28.000 My brother-in-law, who listens to you religiously with his daughters, Johnny O'Daniel.

02:42:34.000 What's up, boo?

02:42:35.000 Shout out to Johnny.

02:42:36.000 In Dayton, Ohio.

02:42:36.000 All right.

02:42:38.000 Instagram, all that shit.

02:42:39.000 What is it?

02:42:40.000 My Instagram is Felipe Esparza.

02:42:42.000 My website is felipesworld.com.

02:42:47.000 I'll be in, I don't know when this airs, I'll be in Grand Rapids, Iowa, and Indianapolis, Helium.

02:42:56.000 When are those dates?

02:42:57.000 I don't know.

02:42:57.000 Okay.

02:42:58.000 Go to the website.

02:42:59.000 Go to the website.

02:42:59.000 April 5th, I'll be in San Diego with Paul Rodriguez, and April 25th, I'll be in San Diego with a bunch of comedians.

02:43:06.000 Beautiful.

02:43:07.000 All right.

02:43:07.000 Felipe, always good to see you, my brother.

02:43:08.000 Thank you, bro.

02:43:09.000 Happy to be here, bro.

02:43:10.000 Thanks for being here.

02:43:11.000 All right.

The Joe Rogan Experience - February 21, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2276 - Felipe Esparza

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript