The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2290 - MIchael Kosta

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast.

00:00:03.000 Check it out.

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day.

00:00:07.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.

00:00:08.000 All day.

00:00:12.000 Yes, sir, Michael.

00:00:13.000 Good to see you, my friend.

00:00:15.000 Thanks for having me and really appreciate you showing me around.

00:00:17.000 Wow, what a space you've created, man.

00:00:19.000 Thank you.

00:00:20.000 That's so cool.

00:00:22.000 Keeps going.

00:00:22.000 I was excited to show you the picture of my sauna.

00:00:26.000 And then you show me you got an archery.

00:00:28.000 It's so cool, man.

00:00:30.000 Thank you.

00:00:30.000 That's so cool.

00:00:31.000 It's fun.

00:00:31.000 We were just singing Jon Stewart's praises before this started, but I'm so happy he's back at The Daily Show, and I'm so happy he makes fun of everything, and I'm so happy he still makes dick jokes.

00:00:41.000 Yeah.

00:00:41.000 You know, it's fun.

00:00:42.000 It's like The Daily Show seems like The Daily Show again.

00:00:45.000 That guy's a very unique dude, very unique person, and one of the most important pieces to unify everybody.

00:00:52.000 He's reasonable.

00:00:54.000 He gets the whole big picture.

00:00:57.000 Like, let's stop being so fucking ridiculously tribal.

00:01:00.000 In the morning meeting, he'll come in, and we're all sitting there, the writers, and he just kind of shuts the door behind him, and we start talking.

00:01:10.000 But it's like a conversation with a college professor, but he's in charge.

00:01:14.000 And it's...

00:01:15.000 Beautiful.

00:01:16.000 All sides.

00:01:17.000 This.

00:01:18.000 I disagree with that.

00:01:19.000 What about this?

00:01:19.000 And it's like, oh, wow.

00:01:20.000 It's really fun to be a part of.

00:01:22.000 And then someone will yell out a dick joke, and then that joke will make it to the show, too.

00:01:26.000 It's like smart things and dumb things.

00:01:27.000 That's beautiful.

00:01:28.000 Well, he's never abandoned being a real comic.

00:01:31.000 Correct.

00:01:31.000 Which is what got him to the dance in the first place.

00:01:33.000 So he always has those instincts.

00:01:36.000 And he's the very best.

00:01:38.000 At, like, holding a line and, like, making something, like, even more preposterous just with a facial expression.

00:01:45.000 Correct, yeah.

00:01:46.000 And pointing out, like, these fucking unbelievably ridiculous in-your-face hypocrisies that we see every day from both sides.

00:01:54.000 Yeah, from both sides.

00:01:55.000 Have you ever done stand-up with them?

00:01:56.000 Oh, yeah, we've done stuff together, like, back in the day.

00:02:00.000 Yeah.

00:02:00.000 God, I can't remember the last time.

00:02:03.000 I was supposed to do something with him at one of Dave's things that he was doing outside back in the day, but I never wound up doing it.

00:02:10.000 But I definitely did stand up with him in the clubs back in New York, and I knew him way, way back in the day.

00:02:16.000 He was on MTV. Yeah, I remember that, and I think I remember one of his books was called...

00:02:22.000 Naked pictures of famous people?

00:02:25.000 Which is great.

00:02:26.000 He's a solid guy.

00:02:28.000 He's a solid guy.

00:02:29.000 I don't know if he's agreeing with him, but I don't even agree with me.

00:02:33.000 Isn't that good?

00:02:34.000 Isn't that the point of this?

00:02:35.000 It's like you want a couple people to be mad sometimes.

00:02:37.000 I also think we all, as human beings, need to be divorced from our ideas.

00:02:42.000 Your ideas are not you.

00:02:44.000 You are you.

00:02:45.000 And ideas are things that you should consider.

00:02:48.000 Ideas are something that you should...

00:02:51.000 If it's going to have some sort of a real physical impact on your life and your family and your family's life and people you care about, I understand.

00:02:57.000 I understand why you get connected to things like that.

00:02:59.000 But for the most part, most of these ideas don't affect you.

00:03:04.000 A lot of them don't.

00:03:05.000 And yet we're so ideologically captured that we fight for these ideas as if it's our very nature.

00:03:12.000 You're talking about your essence as a human being.

00:03:14.000 And it's stupid.

00:03:16.000 This reminds me of a time I left my joke book On a train in New York.

00:03:22.000 And in the joke book I have, this book is important to me.

00:03:26.000 Call me if you get this, you know?

00:03:28.000 And this guy texts me and he says, I have this joke book.

00:03:31.000 And, you know, talk about your ideas.

00:03:34.000 The joke book is the most...

00:03:37.000 Unfiltered, dumb idea ever.

00:03:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:39.000 That's the beauty of it.

00:03:40.000 Yeah.

00:03:41.000 And I said, man, I'm sure he's reading it.

00:03:43.000 You're going to read it.

00:03:45.000 You're going to read a stranger's joke book.

00:03:46.000 And I connected with him.

00:03:48.000 He was very kind.

00:03:49.000 He gave it to me.

00:03:50.000 But he kind of looked at me like, are you a comedian type thing?

00:03:52.000 And I said, yeah.

00:03:53.000 But it's terrifying when that idea gets attached to you when it was just a fleeting idea.

00:04:00.000 Right.

00:04:01.000 Yeah, the joke book idea is the best example of that, right?

00:04:04.000 Because most of what you write is shit, which took me forever to figure out.

00:04:08.000 I was like, God, I just write shit.

00:04:10.000 And then every now and then a gem.

00:04:11.000 Like, ooh, and then you extract the gem.

00:04:13.000 But I've realized afterwards, it's basically like gold mining.

00:04:17.000 Most of the time you're not finding gold.

00:04:18.000 You're finding garbage.

00:04:20.000 And you only get to gold by going through garbage.

00:04:23.000 Yeah.

00:04:23.000 Sometimes I'll do a show.

00:04:25.000 And it's terrible.

00:04:26.000 New joke show.

00:04:27.000 But then the next day, the thing happens.

00:04:29.000 And I think, oh, that's because I was digging all day yesterday.

00:04:33.000 Yeah.

00:04:34.000 It's the muse, right?

00:04:35.000 You have to show up and request the muse's love.

00:04:39.000 I like that.

00:04:40.000 Yeah.

00:04:41.000 Do you ever read Pressfield's War of Art?

00:04:43.000 No.

00:04:43.000 We have a stack of them out there.

00:04:45.000 I'll give you a copy of it.

00:04:46.000 It's a small book, easy read.

00:04:48.000 Jay Larson, comedian in L.A., recommended that book to me 10 years ago, and I never tackled it.

00:04:54.000 It's really good.

00:04:55.000 I used to have a stack of them in the studio where I'd give out to guests because so many comics, I was like, this is what you need.

00:05:00.000 What's the essence?

00:05:01.000 I will read it.

00:05:02.000 Also, you know what keeps freaking me out?

00:05:03.000 There's a shooting star above my head.

00:05:05.000 Yeah, there is.

00:05:06.000 Every now and then one will fly above your head.

00:05:10.000 What's the essence?

00:05:11.000 The war of art.

00:05:12.000 That makes it sound like it's a struggle to create art.

00:05:15.000 Yeah, it's the struggle against resistance, which is procrastination, which is this thing that we all do before we actually write, which is so weird.

00:05:24.000 Because I love...

00:05:25.000 When I'm actually locked in and great ideas are coming, it's one of the best feelings in the world.

00:05:30.000 It's like somehow or another you're pulling these ideas out of nowhere and then it's your job to take this seed and try to go plant it on stage and try to water it.

00:05:39.000 Over the course of many months, it'll become a great bit.

00:05:43.000 And they just only come if you sit there.

00:05:45.000 They only come if you sit there.

00:05:46.000 And what he is saying is that you have to treat it like you're a professional.

00:05:51.000 And you have to decide at 8 a.m.

00:05:53.000 I will show up and I will be there for three hours.

00:05:56.000 I will shut my phone off.

00:05:57.000 I will lock in.

00:05:58.000 This is what I do because I am a professional.

00:06:00.000 And you literally make a prayer to the muse.

00:06:04.000 You offer yourself to the muse.

00:06:07.000 You say, I'm here to work.

00:06:09.000 I'm here.

00:06:10.000 To gather ideas.

00:06:11.000 To be open.

00:06:12.000 To be creative and be open.

00:06:13.000 And you treat it that way.

00:06:15.000 Whether or not the muse is real or not.

00:06:17.000 Right.

00:06:17.000 That's kind of...

00:06:18.000 Right.

00:06:19.000 You can get hung up on that.

00:06:20.000 But if you treat it like it's real, it works.

00:06:24.000 Which is really crazy.

00:06:25.000 I love that.

00:06:26.000 And I don't do that.

00:06:28.000 And early in my comedy career, I would go to the coffee shop at this time and start typing.

00:06:33.000 And I had all these, and I remember Tommy at the comedy store, he would say, every time I see you, you have new bits.

00:06:39.000 And I would go, yeah, because I'm going, and now what's crazy, life has gotten crazier.

00:06:43.000 I don't make time for myself to do that, but I need to honor the muse, man.

00:06:47.000 I like that.

00:06:48.000 My move is when everyone's asleep in my house.

00:06:51.000 Okay.

00:06:52.000 Because I still, I get up pretty early for a comic.

00:06:56.000 Yeah.

00:06:56.000 You know, I'm up by eight.

00:06:57.000 Almost every day.

00:06:59.000 Comics are unreal with that.

00:07:00.000 Right.

00:07:01.000 But that means that I can go to bed at one and still get seven hours of sleep.

00:07:05.000 So that's what I do.

00:07:06.000 So when everybody in my house kind of goes to bed early, my kids go to school, my wife goes to bed early.

00:07:11.000 So when everyone's asleep, it's just me and the dog.

00:07:14.000 And either we're watching YouTube or I'm writing.

00:07:17.000 And that's when I get my best work done.

00:07:19.000 You write by hand?

00:07:20.000 No, I type.

00:07:22.000 I feel like I can't write fast enough by hand.

00:07:26.000 What I like about typing is that I don't have to look at the keys.

00:07:29.000 I know how to type.

00:07:30.000 So I can make a letter.

00:07:34.000 I can make a word very quickly.

00:07:36.000 And I can zone in to it.

00:07:39.000 But what I really like is a keyboard that I can feel.

00:07:43.000 Like, I need travel in my keys.

00:07:45.000 Yeah.

00:07:46.000 You know, and these clickety-clickety-clickety little MacBook keys, those are bullshit.

00:07:49.000 Okay.

00:07:50.000 What you want is a keyboard that you don't have to look at because it's got, like, little divots where your finger sits.

00:07:55.000 So I use a ThinkPad.

00:07:56.000 And ThinkPads have the best keyboards.

00:07:58.000 They have travel.

00:08:00.000 Each one has, like, a couple of millimeters of travel.

00:08:02.000 So it's a clickety-clickety-clickety.

00:08:04.000 So my fingers know exactly where to go and I can just get into the zone.

00:08:07.000 You're zoning right now.

00:08:08.000 Yeah.

00:08:09.000 But that's how I do it.

00:08:11.000 I have a whole thing.

00:08:13.000 The laptop that I write on, it has no apps.

00:08:16.000 It never goes anywhere.

00:08:17.000 It doesn't get email.

00:08:19.000 I only allow myself to use the Bing search engine to find out.

00:08:25.000 Because most of the time, if I'm writing about something, when was this discovered?

00:08:29.000 What happened here?

00:08:30.000 Who figured that out?

00:08:31.000 It's normal facts.

00:08:33.000 Daylight savings is coming, so we're about to lose an hour, and that means trying to speed up your morning.

00:08:38.000 If you drink AG1, maybe you're fine with it.

00:08:40.000 It's that quick and easy to help your body feel great every day.

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00:08:59.000 I drank it for a long time now, and seriously, it's as easy as I say every month.

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00:09:32.000 So make sure you check out drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan.

00:09:38.000 That's drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan.

00:09:42.000 That's a trap for me.

00:09:43.000 Frequently, I'll start typing.

00:09:45.000 I was working on a bit recently that all of these amazing men, these explorers, these achievers, the idea was, because I found out that Sir Edmund Hillary, Mount Everest's first man to climb Everest, he had like nine kids or something.

00:10:02.000 And the idea of the joke was...

00:10:04.000 I don't even think he likes climbing mountains.

00:10:07.000 I don't even think he enjoys outdoors.

00:10:09.000 It's that he's trying to get away from his family.

00:10:10.000 So then I looked up Roger Bannister, the guy who broke the four-minute mile.

00:10:14.000 He had like seven kids.

00:10:15.000 I'm like, I don't even think he likes running.

00:10:16.000 He's just trying to run away from his family.

00:10:18.000 But I remember writing that bit.

00:10:20.000 It's a funny bit.

00:10:21.000 There might have been an Elon thing there.

00:10:23.000 He has a lot of kids going to Mars, whatever.

00:10:25.000 There's other stuff.

00:10:27.000 But I would keep getting sidetracked by these Googles, right?

00:10:29.000 I'd start typing a bit.

00:10:30.000 Now I'm on Sermon Hillary's Wikipedia page.

00:10:33.000 Now I'm gone.

00:10:34.000 And that's a trap.

00:10:35.000 That's tricky.

00:10:36.000 It's procrastination. 0.77

00:10:37.000 It really is.

00:10:38.000 And you can get locked in.

00:10:40.000 So the discipline is to stay on the bit, Costa.

00:10:43.000 I would play this stupid game with myself.

00:10:46.000 I'll just go on YouTube real quick and see if I get inspired by anything before I write.

00:10:51.000 And I'm watching two hours of muscle car builds.

00:10:54.000 Right.

00:10:56.000 Oh, dude, it's wild.

00:10:58.000 Watching people turn their Land Cruiser into an off-road vehicle.

00:11:02.000 I would do motorcycle handlebars.

00:11:05.000 I would find my motorcycle and then there would be 20 different handlebar builds and stuff.

00:11:12.000 What kind of motorcycle did you drive?

00:11:13.000 I have a Triumph Bonneville 2011. It's in storage in Pennsylvania now.

00:11:20.000 I take it out.

00:11:22.000 In LA, that was what I used all the time.

00:11:26.000 You ride a motorcycle in LA? I did forever.

00:11:28.000 Holy shit, dude.

00:11:30.000 My wife doesn't really... 1.00

00:11:31.000 We have a family now.

00:11:32.000 In PA, I ride it a lot.

00:11:35.000 And there, it's deer, man.

00:11:37.000 That's the scary thing there.

00:11:39.000 They get very close.

00:11:40.000 They're not afraid of cars or motor vehicles at this point.

00:11:43.000 Well, there's a time between September-ish to December-ish where they're retarded because they're horny. 0.99

00:11:50.000 Once it starts getting warm out, they start getting goofy.

00:11:53.000 And then when you get cold around November, that's when it really kicks in.

00:11:57.000 If you're in Pennsylvania or Iowa, oh my god, I visited my friend John in Iowa and I'm driving down the road and every 15 seconds you're slamming on your brakes because something's darting near the road.

00:12:08.000 They're all over the place.

00:12:09.000 So they're horny and looking. 1.00

00:12:11.000 Yes.

00:12:11.000 Right.

00:12:11.000 They're also getting chased.

00:12:13.000 Right.

00:12:13.000 So the bucks are chasing the females.

00:12:15.000 And the females are just running out into traffic. 1.00

00:12:17.000 Right.

00:12:17.000 And the bucks are following them.

00:12:18.000 Bang! 1.00

00:12:19.000 I mean, this is like men at night.

00:12:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:23.000 Sixth Street.

00:12:24.000 Where my club is.

00:12:26.000 Don't drive fast.

00:12:26.000 That's why the road is closed on the weekends.

00:12:29.000 They don't want people driving down 6th Street with all these horny idiots. 1.00

00:12:32.000 I love that they closed that, though.

00:12:34.000 That's good.

00:12:34.000 I didn't know that.

00:12:35.000 It is great.

00:12:36.000 But what scares me is what happened in New Orleans, where they have these roads where only people walk down, and everyone knows it, and this psycho decides to kill a bunch of people.

00:12:48.000 It's crazy that you have to think that way.

00:12:50.000 But, I mean, there should be some sort of retractable posts that they can pull up.

00:12:55.000 Wasn't there for that one?

00:12:56.000 It wasn't up.

00:12:57.000 It wasn't up.

00:12:58.000 In New York, you know, it's a big concrete slab.

00:13:01.000 I was in France last year, and they had these huge flower pots with beautiful flowers in it.

00:13:09.000 And I said, you know, this is the New York version.

00:13:11.000 It's a huge concrete slab that says NYPD on it.

00:13:14.000 And this is the French version, which was this enormous, beautiful flower pie.

00:13:17.000 I go, that's serving a function and also beautiful.

00:13:21.000 Yeah, well, the French know how to do things, right? 1.00

00:13:22.000 They know how to do it.

00:13:23.000 Yeah, they party.

00:13:24.000 They know how to party.

00:13:25.000 They drink a lot of wine.

00:13:27.000 They stay thin somehow or another, which is odd.

00:13:29.000 Like, I hope RFK Jr. figures that out.

00:13:32.000 It seems to be full butter all the time.

00:13:36.000 I go to Italy, and it's also the standard cliche, but it is true. 1.00

00:13:41.000 You go there, you can eat the food, and it doesn't affect you the same way.

00:13:44.000 And we don't even think twice about it.

00:13:46.000 We come back here and still order pizza and still feel like shit.

00:13:49.000 If I eat a pizza here, I feel so bloated.

00:13:52.000 I ate a pizza in Italy last summer, and I ate the whole pizza, too.

00:13:55.000 The whole margarita pizza.

00:13:56.000 I ate the whole fucking thing.

00:13:57.000 And I was like I just would just resign myself to like the thud of it hitting my digestive tract and like feeling like I'm on drama me Just like I've resigned myself.

00:14:09.000 I'm like I'm eating pizza fucking Let's just do it.

00:14:13.000 Nothing never came right never came ate a whole pizza.

00:14:15.000 I was like this the rest of the day I was like this is crazy.

00:14:17.000 I'm not even like brisket Sludgy brisket crushes me Terry blacks put you down son I mean I mean I had I was in Houston and Steve Byrne was at the other club. 1.00

00:14:28.000 You want to get lunch?

00:14:29.000 Yeah, of course.

00:14:30.000 We go.

00:14:31.000 Get brisket.

00:14:32.000 I went back to it.

00:14:32.000 I slept for like three and a half hours.

00:14:34.000 I mean, it is very delicious.

00:14:35.000 Did you have sides, though?

00:14:36.000 I don't remember what we were doing.

00:14:38.000 I bet you had sides.

00:14:38.000 You think it was the sides that did it?

00:14:39.000 Yeah, I think it's mostly the starches and the carbs.

00:14:46.000 It's mostly macaroni salad.

00:14:47.000 It's fatty, delicious meat.

00:14:49.000 So good.

00:14:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:50.000 Terry Black's in town is my favorite.

00:14:53.000 They have a beef rib that is the most preposterous thing.

00:14:56.000 You pick the bone up and the rib slides off the bone.

00:15:00.000 I mean, and when you slice into it, it's just juicy, fatty, smoky.

00:15:06.000 Why is the meat falling off the bone such an important...

00:15:09.000 Because it's so tender.

00:15:09.000 It means it's been slow cooked perfectly.

00:15:12.000 Copy that.

00:15:12.000 They have a thing where you want your brisket to fold but not break.

00:15:16.000 So they take a slice of brisket and they put it over their hand.

00:15:19.000 And if it breaks off, you fucked up. 0.92

00:15:21.000 You made a mushy brisket.

00:15:22.000 But you want it where it's just folding.

00:15:25.000 You know, like a thick cloth.

00:15:27.000 There's a life metaphor there, too.

00:15:29.000 Brisket, you want it right out, too.

00:15:31.000 You want it, like, right after they slice it.

00:15:32.000 You don't want to wait on brisket.

00:15:34.000 You want to eat it while it's still warm.

00:15:38.000 Look at that.

00:15:39.000 See the fold that guy's got on his finger?

00:15:41.000 That's a perfectly cooked brisket right there.

00:15:43.000 Dude, I learned...

00:15:44.000 Every time I'm here, I learn...

00:15:46.000 I remember last time, dude, we...

00:15:49.000 We were talking Italian billiards.

00:15:51.000 I didn't even realize it was a different billiards.

00:15:53.000 Oh, they have a bunch of different billiards.

00:15:56.000 That's funny.

00:15:56.000 I never had any idea about that brisket.

00:15:59.000 You know, it was all originally Germans?

00:16:02.000 That they would do the brisket stuff?

00:16:03.000 Germans who came over through Texas.

00:16:06.000 Like Fredericksburg is one of the hubs of it.

00:16:08.000 It's all a bunch of Germans who came over here and they made smoked sausages.

00:16:11.000 So they came over here and the brisket became a thing because...

00:16:15.000 Brisket was not a choice cut.

00:16:17.000 It was a thing that they would throw away.

00:16:19.000 Like, you wanted the steaks.

00:16:20.000 You wanted a T-bone.

00:16:22.000 So they would take the brisket and they just figured out, like, if you just slowly cook it, you render it down and break down all the toughness of it, and at the end you have this delicious, tender, smoked perfection.

00:16:35.000 That puts me to sleep.

00:16:36.000 They know how to do it here, man.

00:16:38.000 They make the best fucking brisket on earth right here.

00:16:42.000 Terry Black's, Franklin's, La Barbecue.

00:16:44.000 There's like a bunch of spots in town.

00:16:46.000 Yeah.

00:16:46.000 What's it, QB Barbecue?

00:16:47.000 Is that the Egyptian joint that I went to with Action Bronson?

00:16:52.000 That place is insane.

00:16:53.000 Oh man, having a meal with him would be super fun.

00:16:55.000 KB? KG. KG Barbecue.

00:16:58.000 So this gentleman came from Egypt.

00:17:00.000 And he was like a finance guy, I think, in Egypt, just working a regular job.

00:17:05.000 Came over here, fell in love with brisket, decided to just open up his own barbecue shop.

00:17:10.000 And so this guy makes these incredible recipes with like Egyptian and Middle Eastern spices, but with Texas barbecue.

00:17:21.000 Oh my God, it was so good.

00:17:22.000 It was so good.

00:17:24.000 Cool story.

00:17:25.000 And he's blowing up now.

00:17:26.000 And he's a super nice guy, too.

00:17:28.000 I love when someone does that.

00:17:30.000 It's like, fuck this job.

00:17:33.000 You know what I want to do?

00:17:34.000 I want to feed people.

00:17:35.000 I want to make brisket.

00:17:36.000 Awesome brisket.

00:17:37.000 I want to make a food truck.

00:17:38.000 And this guy, it becomes so popular so quickly that this guy has a real business now.

00:17:43.000 And he's got a restaurant.

00:17:44.000 He's opening up a second one, I believe.

00:17:46.000 That was my favorite part of living in Los Angeles.

00:17:49.000 It's easy to make fun of L.A. for good reason.

00:17:51.000 But for the most part, a lot of people were betting on themselves and a talent they had.

00:17:57.000 But I do love that.

00:17:59.000 I always appreciated that.

00:18:01.000 Living in a place where people are definitely going for something and taking chances.

00:18:05.000 The problem with LA is it also becomes attached with what is the engine that gets you to where you want to go.

00:18:12.000 And sometimes that engine is like pure narcissism.

00:18:15.000 Yeah, or fame.

00:18:16.000 If that's the goal.

00:18:17.000 Most of the time it's fame.

00:18:18.000 Which fuels the narcissism.

00:18:20.000 But I think a more interesting question is...

00:18:26.000 How do we find the thing that we're meant to do?

00:18:28.000 That Egyptian finance man found that brisket is his calling.

00:18:32.000 That's fascinating.

00:18:33.000 In his 30s.

00:18:34.000 In his 30s.

00:18:34.000 With a career.

00:18:35.000 Right.

00:18:35.000 With a career.

00:18:36.000 Making money, having health care, still decided to give it up.

00:18:39.000 Living in Egypt, by the way.

00:18:40.000 It's not even close to Austin, Texas.

00:18:43.000 And he comes here and he doesn't just decide to make barbecue.

00:18:46.000 He decides to make barbecue in the home of barbecue.

00:18:49.000 The place.

00:18:50.000 Yeah.

00:18:50.000 He's like, fuck it.

00:18:51.000 If you want to learn jujitsu, go to Brazil.

00:18:53.000 Yeah.

00:18:53.000 He went right to the heart of it all.

00:18:55.000 I remember I was coaching tennis at University of Michigan.

00:18:58.000 I was making $31,000 a year.

00:19:01.000 And I go, I think I can make this in comedy.

00:19:03.000 If I'm going to get paid like shit, let me at least do what I want.

00:19:07.000 So, of course, the first year I left, first year I did comedy, I made whatever, $6,000 or whatever.

00:19:12.000 But I think often how much harder that would have been if I was making $100,000.

00:19:16.000 Right.

00:19:17.000 You know, it's...

00:19:18.000 Because I was poor, let's be poor and pick the thing I want to be doing.

00:19:22.000 Oh, 100%.

00:19:23.000 But that's the thing about youth.

00:19:25.000 If you're 47 years old and you decide that you need to change careers and you're going to be a folk singer and you have a family, what are you talking about?

00:19:34.000 You have a Volvo.

00:19:35.000 You have a fucking mortgage, you idiot.

00:19:37.000 You have to go to work.

00:19:39.000 You have to go to work.

00:19:40.000 If you're going to make folk songs, you're going to make them on the two hours you have for yourself on the weekend when everybody else is out of the house.

00:19:47.000 You don't have any time for that.

00:19:49.000 Is it true that Rodney Dangerfield found comedy so late like that?

00:19:53.000 Well, Rodney did comedy and then quit, but kept writing and was selling aluminum siding.

00:19:58.000 Right.

00:19:58.000 That's what I remember, that story.

00:20:00.000 And then remade it when he was like 46. That's a fucking awesome story.

00:20:04.000 Yeah.

00:20:04.000 How about Schimmel?

00:20:05.000 Schimmel didn't even start until he was 36, which I thought was crazy.

00:20:09.000 I remember what I heard because I was a giant Schimmel fan.

00:20:11.000 Okay.

00:20:11.000 And then when I had heard that he started when he was 36, I was like, what?

00:20:15.000 I didn't think you could do that.

00:20:17.000 I thought you had to start when you were like 21. Yeah.

00:20:19.000 Or you had no chance.

00:20:20.000 I remember starting at 27 and wondering if it was too late.

00:20:24.000 Right.

00:20:25.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:20:26.000 Or maybe it was 25. I forget.

00:20:28.000 I wish I started at 27. Yeah.

00:20:29.000 Because when I was 21, I was such a moron.

00:20:31.000 Right.

00:20:31.000 I just had no opinions on anything.

00:20:34.000 So all my jokes were basically about sex.

00:20:36.000 It was like sex and relationships.

00:20:38.000 Where were you at age 21?

00:20:39.000 Boston.

00:20:40.000 Boston.

00:20:40.000 Okay.

00:20:41.000 That's right.

00:20:41.000 You were in...

00:20:42.000 I was going to say, because...

00:20:43.000 You were at least in a good comedy scene.

00:20:45.000 You could see good comedy.

00:20:47.000 Oh, it was a great comedy scene.

00:20:48.000 Yeah, you've talked about that.

00:20:49.000 It was the best comedy scene.

00:20:50.000 It was the best comedy scene because it was a comedy scene that had world-class comedians that the rest of the country didn't know about.

00:20:57.000 Right.

00:20:58.000 So it was a cheat code.

00:20:59.000 It was like you're in a gym and you're sparring with world-class fighters, like world championship caliber fighters that the rest of the world hasn't seen yet.

00:21:05.000 Right.

00:21:06.000 That emerges sometimes in fight gyms.

00:21:08.000 You have a bunch of elite fighters and then all of a sudden there's three world champions in this gym like two years later.

00:21:14.000 That's what it was like in Boston because there was these guys that were the Steve Sweeney's and the Don Gavins who were as good as anybody that's ever done comedy and no one knew who they were outside of Boston.

00:21:25.000 And you get to see them every night just murdering.

00:21:28.000 Was their drive to get out?

00:21:30.000 No.

00:21:31.000 It was to make money, stay there.

00:21:34.000 Do coke and play golf.

00:21:38.000 Those guys are partying.

00:21:40.000 I remember the documentary about Boston comedy where they said they would pay comics and coke.

00:21:44.000 It was a totally different kind of comedian.

00:21:47.000 There were these big football player looking men who were rowdy, who partied all the time.

00:21:53.000 They were all heavy drinkers.

00:21:55.000 They all played golf.

00:21:56.000 They were all animals.

00:21:57.000 They would go on stage and obliterate.

00:22:00.000 When I say obliterate, these guys would go on stage with a...

00:22:03.000 Drinking their hand.

00:22:04.000 And they had a fucking act that was as hammered as a samurai sword.

00:22:08.000 It was polished.

00:22:10.000 From the paws they would take to the eyebrow raise.

00:22:13.000 Everything.

00:22:14.000 And a lot of it was like local references.

00:22:17.000 Like local Boston stuff.

00:22:18.000 And they would bury these out-of-town comedians.

00:22:22.000 I saw them bury Billy Crystal one night.

00:22:24.000 Bury him! 0.98

00:22:25.000 Bury!

00:22:26.000 Death!

00:22:27.000 Satan was nipping at his heels and dragging him down into the netherworld.

00:22:31.000 It was horrible.

00:22:32.000 He was in hell.

00:22:34.000 I feel like when I started comedy, drinking was still big.

00:22:38.000 Now I meet all the young comics and everybody's sober or they're thinking more about all the different facets.

00:22:44.000 But when I started, there wasn't YouTube yet.

00:22:47.000 Right.

00:22:47.000 Comics talk shit in the green room a lot.

00:22:50.000 Terrible.

00:22:50.000 Yep.

00:22:51.000 I went and did...

00:22:52.000 Yuck yucks in Vancouver recently.

00:22:54.000 In the green room, there's a sign up that says we don't harass people in the green room.

00:22:58.000 And I'm like, this is different.

00:23:01.000 This is different, you know?

00:23:02.000 Well, Canada's just on another level with their wokeness.

00:23:05.000 Canada's on another level.

00:23:08.000 Come back to us, Canada. 0.92

00:23:09.000 I remember driving down the road in Vancouver and there's all these people just lining up.

00:23:17.000 And I go, what's going on?

00:23:18.000 And said, oh, well, they're lining up for the bus that's about to come.

00:23:21.000 And I'm like, that's Canadian.

00:23:24.000 They're so polite.

00:23:25.000 They're waiting.

00:23:26.000 They know where the bus will be and they're lining up.

00:23:27.000 That is not how it works in Brooklyn.

00:23:29.000 And then before they get on the bus, they give their land acknowledgement.

00:23:34.000 Before they step on the bus.

00:23:36.000 Do you think that comedy with the Polish, the local... 1.00

00:23:41.000 I mean...

00:23:42.000 It feels like comedy's taking a different turn now.

00:23:44.000 Now it's, if a bit is kind of working, we post it.

00:23:47.000 It's up.

00:23:47.000 It's not polished.

00:23:48.000 And I miss some of that.

00:23:50.000 I miss some of that.

00:23:51.000 There's some of that, but there's still guys, you know, like Louie who don't do that, and Attell doesn't do that.

00:23:58.000 It's like, I get for young guys coming up, it's a very good way to develop an audience.

00:24:02.000 Like, there's guys that have a clip, the clip goes viral on TikTok, all of a sudden they're selling out shows everywhere, like a guy like Ralph Barboza.

00:24:09.000 It's a funny guy.

00:24:10.000 Gets a funny bit.

00:24:11.000 It gets put up.

00:24:12.000 Bam! 0.98

00:24:13.000 All of a sudden, he's headlining all over the country.

00:24:14.000 And it happened to him like that.

00:24:16.000 He was opening for me in Dallas before any of that.

00:24:20.000 And, you know, you always watch the opener.

00:24:22.000 And normally, I watch the opener like this.

00:24:25.000 Like, oh, this is just...

00:24:26.000 Is this what I have to go up after?

00:24:28.000 Why didn't I bring my own guy?

00:24:29.000 You know, whatever.

00:24:30.000 And I'm sitting in the green room and I'm going, oh, that's a good bit.

00:24:33.000 Oh, that's a fun...

00:24:34.000 Oh, the crowd's going to do it.

00:24:35.000 And I'm going, this guy's got it.

00:24:36.000 Yeah.

00:24:37.000 And then six months later, I was like watching his special, right?

00:24:40.000 Or it wasn't maybe a year later, but yeah.

00:24:43.000 I mean, that's a great example.

00:24:45.000 He's a funny dude.

00:24:46.000 Yeah, it's a great example of what can be done with social media today.

00:24:51.000 There's a lot of bad ones.

00:24:52.000 Like from Kill Tony, where they do one minute.

00:24:55.000 And a lot of these one minute clips get put into reels.

00:24:59.000 And then these guys are getting huge responses for this.

00:25:03.000 And now they're doing the Killers of Kill Tony, where they're selling out these huge places.

00:25:07.000 So it's amazing what can be done.

00:25:11.000 But they don't have an act.

00:25:13.000 Some of them do.

00:25:14.000 Like Ari Matty's 12 years in.

00:25:16.000 He was doing stand-up in Australia.

00:25:17.000 I actually worked with him in Australia in like 2016, I think.

00:25:24.000 Somewhere around then.

00:25:25.000 2015, somewhere around then.

00:25:27.000 So Ari's been at it for a long time.

00:25:29.000 So he's really good.

00:25:30.000 He's a really solid comic.

00:25:31.000 So he's headlining now because of this.

00:25:34.000 But there's guys that are in it four or five years, and they don't really have an act yet, but they have a couple of good jokes.

00:25:41.000 But they'll figure it out.

00:25:42.000 They'll figure it out.

00:25:43.000 But you don't want to figure all of it out on video in front of the whole world.

00:25:47.000 That's what it is now.

00:25:48.000 I'm so thankful that as soon as I could, I posted my first set on the internet.

00:25:54.000 But that was seven years in.

00:25:56.000 You couldn't even do it.

00:25:57.000 I would have done it too soon.

00:25:59.000 I mean, it still was too soon.

00:26:01.000 But it's okay.

00:26:02.000 You know, look, you go back and watch my first episodes of this podcast.

00:26:05.000 They were fucking terrible.

00:26:06.000 I encourage everybody to go back and watch them.

00:26:08.000 Dog shit.

00:26:08.000 Nobody would watch it.

00:26:09.000 Where does one watch the first?

00:26:11.000 I bet they're on YouTube.

00:26:12.000 They're on somewhere.

00:26:13.000 They're somewhere.

00:26:13.000 It's everywhere.

00:26:14.000 But, like, when we first started doing it, I mean, there was no production value.

00:26:19.000 I was boring.

00:26:20.000 And then you figure out how to do it.

00:26:21.000 It's like stand-up.

00:26:22.000 It's everything else.

00:26:24.000 Go back and watch someone's first amateur fight.

00:26:26.000 They were terrible.

00:26:27.000 They make mistakes.

00:26:29.000 It is very beautiful to watch.

00:26:33.000 People get better at stuff.

00:26:34.000 There's a female tennis player right now named Andrieva. 1.00

00:26:38.000 I forget how to pronounce her first name, but I just watched her at Indian Wells, and I saw her four years ago at the French Open. 0.99

00:26:44.000 Everyone was saying, she's about to watch Andrieva, and I'm like, this is a child that doesn't know how to play the sport.

00:26:50.000 Why are we talking about her?

00:26:52.000 I watched her last week in absolute nightmare of a beast.

00:26:57.000 You know, hitting the ball, the movement, her shape.

00:27:01.000 And it was like, oh, every day she got better.

00:27:04.000 And to see that was nuts.

00:27:06.000 I always go back and watch, oh my god, Novak Djokovic's first Grand Slam, when he's got the worst haircut and the baggy shirt, and the backhand was looking different.

00:27:15.000 Now, it's just amazing to see how these athletes evolve, and I'm sure it's the same for fighters you mentioned it was.

00:27:21.000 Sure, yeah.

00:27:21.000 I love seeing that.

00:27:22.000 Yeah, well, tennis is like all things, right?

00:27:25.000 Yes.

00:27:26.000 When you really do it, then you can truly appreciate people who are great.

00:27:31.000 Yes.

00:27:31.000 Like, there's so many things that are like, like in martial arts, it's a big, like, especially...

00:27:35.000 When things go to the ground, a lot of times people don't understand how difficult a specific maneuver is, like how he did that, how he baited him with that, and then you have to, like, there's certain things I watch where I'm like, oh my god, does everybody appreciate this?

00:27:49.000 That was insane!

00:27:50.000 It's a language.

00:27:51.000 It's a language, and if you don't speak the language, I mean, when I don't speak MMA language, but that's where good commentators come in, oh, they're excited for a reason.

00:28:01.000 That was something that we don't see very often, and that helps me.

00:28:04.000 I assume that's how it works for non-tennis people when they're watching tennis.

00:28:08.000 Oh, I'm sure.

00:28:09.000 But I think only a person like you, who is a professional, could appreciate the technique involved and the changing of Djokovic's backstring.

00:28:17.000 I pause it.

00:28:19.000 I make my wife come into the living room and I say, watch this. 1.00

00:28:22.000 And she'll watch and she'll go, that was good.

00:28:24.000 And I go, are you even seeing what he did?

00:28:26.000 He did a short slice to pull him in.

00:28:30.000 But it's a language that I speak.

00:28:33.000 This is life, man.

00:28:34.000 Picking these little things we have that we get passionate about is just awesome.

00:28:38.000 As I've gotten older, I used to shy away from tennis a little bit.

00:28:42.000 It's an elite sport.

00:28:43.000 It's got its own history.

00:28:45.000 And now I'm just like, I fucking love it.

00:28:46.000 I love that I'm good at it.

00:28:47.000 I love that I know it.

00:28:48.000 The Wookiees pushed you away from tennis? 1.00

00:28:50.000 No, the Wookiees that pushed you away from tennis. 1.00

00:28:51.000 It sounds like it did.

00:28:52.000 It sounds like it was a little too elite.

00:28:53.000 It was a little too country club.

00:28:56.000 A little too segregated.

00:28:58.000 It definitely is those things.

00:29:00.000 No, I think what happens...

00:29:02.000 It doesn't have to be.

00:29:03.000 It doesn't have to be.

00:29:03.000 And that's why Serena and Venus were such a fun fuck-up to the sport.

00:29:09.000 Do you know the Freeway Ricky Ross story?

00:29:11.000 No.

00:29:12.000 Freeway Ricky Ross was a guy who, you know Rick Ross, the rapper?

00:29:16.000 Yes.

00:29:16.000 He named himself after a famous cocaine dealer in Los Angeles called Freeway Ricky Ross.

00:29:22.000 Freeway Ricky Ross was selling cocaine unbeknownst to him for the CIA to fund the Contras versus the Sandinistas.

00:29:28.000 Okay, yeah.

00:29:29.000 So this is the cocaine cowboy type stuff, isn't it?

00:29:31.000 Type stuff, but this was about Oliver North.

00:29:34.000 This was all about funneling money into the war.

00:29:38.000 He was a tennis player.

00:29:39.000 Like an elite tennis player.

00:29:41.000 That's hilarious.

00:29:41.000 Couldn't even read.

00:29:42.000 Couldn't read.

00:29:43.000 Yes.

00:29:44.000 And was this really good tennis player.

00:29:46.000 Right.

00:29:46.000 Who, that was like his hope for a scholarship.

00:29:50.000 Right.

00:29:50.000 Gets involved, starts selling cocaine, starts selling a lot of cocaine.

00:29:54.000 I'm sure.

00:29:54.000 Doesn't know how he's so successful because he's working with the CIA. CIA's helping him.

00:29:58.000 Goes to jail, learns how to read when he's in jail, becomes a lawyer in jail, gets himself off because they tried him on three strikes, but they did it for one incident.

00:30:08.000 So they did it incorrectly.

00:30:09.000 And so he gets out of jail.

00:30:11.000 So incarceration educated him to the point where he got himself out.

00:30:15.000 But is there origins or as a tennis player?

00:30:17.000 As a tennis player.

00:30:17.000 He's a tennis player, like a really good tennis player.

00:30:20.000 You know, Menendez brothers, excellent tennis players.

00:30:22.000 One of them played at UCLA. Maybe not the best example.

00:30:27.000 I'm talking about a guy from South Central LA who can't read.

00:30:31.000 Just to say it's not necessarily an elite sport.

00:30:34.000 It doesn't have to be.

00:30:35.000 It's just a sport.

00:30:36.000 I agree.

00:30:37.000 And all you need is a court.

00:30:38.000 I mean, it seems pretty cheap.

00:30:39.000 You need a flat surface, a tennis racket, and a ball.

00:30:42.000 Like, let's go.

00:30:43.000 The kids that were beating me when I was a pro played on a dirt court.

00:30:48.000 With a rope tied between two sticks.

00:30:50.000 These South American and Russian players, it was not a money sport.

00:30:55.000 It was not a sport of money.

00:30:56.000 It was a sport of movement and competition.

00:30:59.000 And because there's no clock, you can have as much time as you want to figure out and beat down your opponent.

00:31:08.000 That gets a certain type of athlete.

00:31:10.000 I think it was Jimmy Connors who said, I didn't lose, I just ran out of time in that match.

00:31:16.000 I would have figured it out, but unfortunately he beat me.

00:31:20.000 What happened with me, I was trying to be a stand-up comic so badly that I was trying to remove the athletic stigma.

00:31:33.000 Even now, you sometimes say tennis and people kind of back up.

00:31:36.000 But as I got better at comedy and more confident in my abilities, I said, why am I shying away from the sport that I love and that is such a foundational part of me?

00:31:44.000 Isn't that weird that you felt like you had to move away from athletics in order to fit in in comedy?

00:31:50.000 That's probably a more succinct way to say it.

00:31:52.000 And the new book that's out right now, Lucky Loser, is all about how...

00:31:57.000 I'm now embracing this tennis because it gave me all the skills to actually be good in comedy.

00:32:02.000 Of course.

00:32:03.000 Yeah.

00:32:03.000 Discipline, realizing, like the tennis player that you were talking about, that if you do put in the work over time, the results will pay off, and you'll see it.

00:32:11.000 And you're alone.

00:32:13.000 Yeah.

00:32:13.000 Figure that shit out by yourself.

00:32:15.000 You're alone, and you're going to have success and failure.

00:32:18.000 When I was eight years old, I lost in the finals of the Ann Arbor Junior Open.

00:32:24.000 And I realized I was going to lose, and I started crying on the court.

00:32:28.000 And my older brother runs on the court and holds me like a child.

00:32:33.000 I'm crying.

00:32:35.000 There's a picture of that in the book.

00:32:37.000 Now as a parent, I'm going, who the fuck took that picture?

00:32:40.000 Right?

00:32:40.000 I'm just a kid crying and my brother's holding me because my parents take that picture.

00:32:44.000 They did it for the gram.

00:32:47.000 But man, as a comic, holy shit, we've all felt like that.

00:32:50.000 Oh man, it's so personal when you fail as a comic.

00:32:54.000 Well, it's important to learn how to lose at things.

00:32:57.000 Everything.

00:32:57.000 Like, if you marry your high school sweetheart and you guys never broke up and that's the...

00:33:02.000 You probably missed out on me.

00:33:04.000 Congratulations on achieving the most difficult thing humanly possible that everybody admires, right?

00:33:10.000 When you meet a couple, and like, I have two friends of mine that have actually been dating since they were like 16 years old, and now they're married with kids in their 40s.

00:33:19.000 Congratulations.

00:33:20.000 But I think there's some value in getting your ass kicked.

00:33:24.000 I think there's some value in a girl saying, no, I don't even like you. 0.78

00:33:28.000 Like, no, you don't like me?

00:33:31.000 You know, I think it's good getting dumped is good.

00:33:33.000 I think all that's valuable.

00:33:35.000 I think you have to learn.

00:33:36.000 And I don't think you learn by winning all the time.

00:33:39.000 And I don't think you learn if something's easy, which is why really handsome and really beautiful people are often ridiculous in the way they behave.

00:33:47.000 That's true.

00:33:48.000 Because they have five aces.

00:33:50.000 Right.

00:33:50.000 And, you know, and they didn't earn them.

00:33:51.000 They were just born with five aces.

00:33:53.000 So how do you instill grit, toughness in a generation?

00:33:58.000 As a parent, I see my...

00:34:00.000 Five-year-old struggling.

00:34:02.000 I oftentimes pop in.

00:34:03.000 Let me get that for you.

00:34:04.000 You know, she's trying to do little things, trying to do the buttons on her shirt. 1.00

00:34:07.000 And I do it for her, and I think I shouldn't do it for her.

00:34:10.000 She should be struggling to do this.

00:34:12.000 But this is a big issue right now, right?

00:34:13.000 The younger generation, you hear that word grit.

00:34:15.000 How do we instill that?

00:34:17.000 Well, sports is a great way to do it.

00:34:18.000 It's a great way to do it.

00:34:18.000 It doesn't work with everybody because some people play sports and they come out even cuntier.

00:34:22.000 Yeah, they come out more aggressive or more competitive or more psychotic in their pursuits and it just alienates everything else in their life.

00:34:30.000 Or it creates trauma for them.

00:34:31.000 Not real trauma, but...

00:34:32.000 Or real trauma.

00:34:34.000 Fucking head trauma if you're playing football.

00:34:36.000 Yeah, there's...

00:34:37.000 I think difficult things are important for kids.

00:34:40.000 It doesn't necessarily have to be that.

00:34:42.000 It could be art.

00:34:43.000 It could be music.

00:34:43.000 It could be something.

00:34:44.000 But I think there's something when you put your attention to something and realize you can get better at this thing and you find yourself in that thing and you find your potential in that thing that you focus on.

00:34:54.000 It's not necessarily that it has to define you, because oftentimes it does, unfortunately.

00:35:00.000 When people are really good at a thing, it becomes the whole essence of who they are as a person.

00:35:06.000 It's a valuable tool for elevating your human potential.

00:35:09.000 And it's also a way that you can quantify effort versus results.

00:35:15.000 And you can do that in sports and games and in chess and art and things that are difficult.

00:35:21.000 You can say, I am so much better at playing guitar now because I've been playing three hours a day for six months and look at what I can do now.

00:35:30.000 And it teaches you that if there's a thing that you really love and you focus on it, That thing, if someone does it for a living, why can't you?

00:35:39.000 Why can't you?

00:35:40.000 Why do I have to be in this fucking bullshit office in this cubicle with these stupid papers that I don't give a shit about that I have to fill out for this company that I don't give a fuck about?

00:35:49.000 This episode is brought to you by LifeLock.

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00:37:09.000 Terms apply.

00:37:10.000 I agree with you.

00:37:14.000 Some things we will improve upon faster based on our natural abilities.

00:37:20.000 I loved the way DJs used to seamlessly transfer one song to the other.

00:37:28.000 Beat matching, whatever that was called.

00:37:30.000 I asked for two turntables for Christmas.

00:37:32.000 I obsessed over it.

00:37:34.000 I fucking sucked at it, dude.

00:37:36.000 I couldn't do it.

00:37:38.000 I tried so hard.

00:37:39.000 And then I'm thinking...

00:37:41.000 I pick up this tennis racket, and it all kind of clicks very quickly.

00:37:45.000 Well, you have a good frame for tennis, first of all.

00:37:47.000 Thank you.

00:37:48.000 So you're tall and long, which really helps.

00:37:51.000 You can reach stuff that other people can't reach.

00:37:53.000 You don't think I don't have a good frame for DJing?

00:37:55.000 Yeah, you have like a foot more space.

00:37:57.000 Look how much wider you are.

00:37:59.000 My arms are pretty long, and yours are like a foot more.

00:38:02.000 Dude, if Pete Sampras did this, the greatest server.

00:38:05.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:07.000 Don't they say that this is the same height?

00:38:09.000 I think so.

00:38:10.000 I think they say that this is your height also.

00:38:12.000 Is that what it is?

00:38:12.000 Yeah, it's not really.

00:38:13.000 I mean, it's your wingspan.

00:38:14.000 Well, I always heard that from here to here is your foot.

00:38:17.000 I saw that I'm a pretty woman.

00:38:19.000 From here to here is your foot.

00:38:21.000 But I mean, Pete had like...

00:38:24.000 Extra length.

00:38:24.000 Yes.

00:38:25.000 And people go, how did he get the pop on the serve?

00:38:27.000 Torque.

00:38:28.000 Like Tommy Hearns with his punches.

00:38:30.000 Tommy Hearns was so long and tall.

00:38:32.000 Like Deontay Wilder is another example.

00:38:34.000 Those long, tall guys.

00:38:36.000 When you have this torque.

00:38:38.000 You ever see Deontay Wilder?

00:38:40.000 No.

00:38:40.000 He's arguably the greatest one-punch knockout artist in the history of the heavyweight division.

00:38:46.000 At one point in time, he was like...

00:38:49.000 What is Deontay's record?

00:38:51.000 I think it's like 40, and he's had a few losses recently, but at one point in time, he had like 39 knockouts out of 40 fights.

00:39:01.000 Jesus.

00:39:01.000 Which is insane!

00:39:03.000 And these are professional fighters he's knocking out, it's not me.

00:39:07.000 And he's undersized for the heavyweight division.

00:39:09.000 When he fought Tyson Fury, Tyson Fury was like 260, he was 209. 209. He made it to 40-0.

00:39:16.000 40-0, and...

00:39:18.000 39 of those 40 were knockouts.

00:39:21.000 Look at everybody.

00:39:22.000 Knockout, TKO, TKO, KO. He knocked out everybody.

00:39:28.000 Get the Luis Ortiz fight.

00:39:31.000 Show him the Luis Ortiz fight.

00:39:32.000 Forgive this extremely ignorant question.

00:39:34.000 When you say knockout, that means the guy's done.

00:39:38.000 That's not like the ref calls it.

00:39:40.000 TKO is the ref calls it.

00:39:42.000 Knockout is like, it's over.

00:39:44.000 Like, you got flatlined.

00:39:45.000 And these are guys that know how to take hits.

00:39:47.000 Elite guys!

00:39:48.000 Well, this guy, Luis Ortiz, was on the Cuban Olympic team.

00:39:51.000 He's a fucking elite fighter, and he was really durable.

00:39:54.000 So Deontay, see, he's the one with his back to us.

00:39:57.000 He's long and tall, but he's not giant.

00:40:00.000 He's not a big guy in comparison to a lot of these guys.

00:40:03.000 But he catches him with a right hand and flattens him.

00:40:08.000 I think this is the first time they fought, Jamie.

00:40:10.000 Oh, you went the second one?

00:40:11.000 Yeah, the second one is the KO with one punch.

00:40:13.000 So he beat him up in the first fight, too.

00:40:16.000 But Ortiz is an elite boxer, and Deontay's not the best boxer.

00:40:20.000 Right.

00:40:21.000 He's just a hitter.

00:40:22.000 Got a hitter.

00:40:22.000 And he's just waiting, waiting, waiting, blam!

00:40:26.000 Yeah.

00:40:26.000 And he hits guys, and they're like, what the fuck?

00:40:28.000 Here it is.

00:40:28.000 Watch this.

00:40:31.000 Wow, that...

00:40:32.000 Yeah, it just collapses.

00:40:33.000 It didn't even seem like it was that hard of a hit.

00:40:35.000 And this is an elite heavyweight.

00:40:37.000 Yeah.

00:40:38.000 Show it again.

00:40:39.000 Show it again.

00:40:39.000 Because it's so crazy.

00:40:41.000 It's just one punch.

00:40:42.000 It's just black. 0.94

00:40:45.000 See, Wilder just waits, waits, waits.

00:40:48.000 It's all waiting.

00:40:49.000 It's not boxing.

00:40:50.000 Yeah, it's right.

00:40:50.000 He's just waiting.

00:40:51.000 Waiting for his chance.

00:40:54.000 Look at that record.

00:40:57.000 Right here.

00:41:03.000 Unbelievable.

00:41:05.000 When you got that kind of power, that is so crazy.

00:41:09.000 That's crazy.

00:41:09.000 That's hard for me to even wrap my head around.

00:41:12.000 See if they show it in the replay, because he hits him on the forehead, which is so crazy, just before that.

00:41:17.000 Watch this.

00:41:18.000 Right there.

00:41:18.000 Just before it, Jamie.

00:41:20.000 Okay, here it is.

00:41:20.000 Watch this.

00:41:21.000 He hits him on the forehead, man.

00:41:24.000 Not punching.

00:41:25.000 Waiting.

00:41:25.000 So he's just waiting.

00:41:26.000 He's just waiting.

00:41:27.000 He's just pawing at him with his left hand, and BAM! Oh my god, look at that.

00:41:32.000 Bro.

00:41:33.000 But it's all that torque and length and leverage and just God-given power like nobody has.

00:41:41.000 Jeez, and the fucking slow motion.

00:41:42.000 Bro, that is so crazy.

00:41:44.000 The slow motion camera.

00:41:45.000 That is so crazy.

00:41:46.000 And look at the torque.

00:41:47.000 Look at the wide shoulders and the timing and the speed and watch it just straightens out right on his fucking noggin.

00:41:55.000 Boom! 0.99

00:41:57.000 And the follow-through with the shoulder?

00:42:00.000 Oh my goodness.

00:42:01.000 In these sports, like mixed martial arts too, these sports aren't for me because one punch, it's done.

00:42:11.000 Oh yeah.

00:42:11.000 Meaning, I like watching that.

00:42:13.000 Meaning, I wouldn't have been a good athlete in that sport.

00:42:18.000 Why do you think that?

00:42:19.000 Well, in tennis, what I love is if you're just bombing aces, After the first set, clean slate.

00:42:28.000 We start all over again.

00:42:29.000 And in boxing, you make one mistake like that, and it's done.

00:42:35.000 Well, against that guy.

00:42:36.000 But that's very unusual.

00:42:37.000 Most guys can't do that.

00:42:38.000 They can't do that.

00:42:39.000 Most guys can hit you pretty hard.

00:42:40.000 You would take a hard hit, but you could recover.

00:42:42.000 That's crazy.

00:42:43.000 That's crazy.

00:42:45.000 Deontay's in a world of his own.

00:42:46.000 And he's also in a world of his own, again, because he's not big.

00:42:50.000 Like, there's Daniel Dubois.

00:42:51.000 Who is the...

00:42:52.000 I forget which division he's a champion of right now.

00:42:56.000 But he's a giant heavyweight who knocks everybody out.

00:42:59.000 But he's 255, 260, built like a tank.

00:43:03.000 Deontay's literally 40-plus pounds lighter than that.

00:43:08.000 And just one punch.

00:43:10.000 I liked how...

00:43:11.000 We watched a lot of that, and he hadn't even thrown a punch.

00:43:14.000 He's a hitter.

00:43:15.000 He's a hitter.

00:43:16.000 He's there to kill you.

00:43:17.000 He's not going to outbox you and be slick.

00:43:19.000 In fact, his movement is sometimes awkward.

00:43:22.000 He's criticized for having bad footwear.

00:43:24.000 His legs look like sticks.

00:43:26.000 He has the skinniest legs you've ever seen in your life.

00:43:29.000 It's crazy.

00:43:29.000 You look at his legs, you're like, how?

00:43:31.000 How?

00:43:32.000 But the power this guy generates is out of this world.

00:43:35.000 So his software during a fight is just constantly trying to find the open for one of these huge...

00:43:41.000 That's the whole time he's doing.

00:43:43.000 He's not boxing you.

00:43:44.000 I mean, he's boxing kind of, but he's really looking for the big one.

00:43:48.000 And you know if that big one lands, it's nighty night for everybody!

00:43:52.000 The only one who's able to survive it is Tyson Fury because he's a fucking animal.

00:43:56.000 Right.

00:43:56.000 And he rose from the dead in the 12th round of their fight where it looked like Deontay had knocked him out cold.

00:44:01.000 Deontay even went like that at the end of it.

00:44:03.000 Oh my god.

00:44:03.000 Because he hit him with a right hand and then a left hook as he was going down.

00:44:06.000 And he went flat out on his back and Tyson Fury rose like the undertaker and got right back and won the rest of the round.

00:44:12.000 But that's just because he's a...

00:44:14.000 That's another very, very rare human being, Tyson Fury.

00:44:17.000 Just an animal.

00:44:18.000 Jesus.

00:44:18.000 Just an animal.

00:44:19.000 One of the greatest boxers of all time.

00:44:21.000 And one of the greatest heavyweights, without a doubt, of all time.

00:44:24.000 When you get hit like that, there's got to be an enormous physical pain, duh.

00:44:30.000 But then there also is like...

00:44:32.000 Don't you get scared then after a big hit?

00:44:35.000 Well, you get super confused.

00:44:36.000 You get confused because I would get scared.

00:44:38.000 You know, you got to kind of shake off the cobwebs, your ears are ringing, your legs don't work right anymore.

00:44:44.000 When you get knocked down, I only got TKO'd once in a kickboxing fight, and ironically, it didn't hurt.

00:44:50.000 The punch that hit me just twisted my jaw.

00:44:53.000 He hit me with a left hook, and my legs just gave out.

00:44:55.000 Like, weep!

00:44:56.000 Like, gone.

00:44:57.000 It's the craziest feeling.

00:44:58.000 It's like, it's not like you got hurt.

00:45:01.000 It's like your legs just shut off.

00:45:03.000 Right.

00:45:03.000 Like, he clipped me with a left hook that I didn't see in an exchange, and when you get hit on the jaw, something happens in the jaw, and I don't know what it is with the nerves behind your neck, but it just shuts everything off.

00:45:15.000 Right.

00:45:16.000 And you're conscious, which is weird.

00:45:18.000 Like, so it was completely conscious, but my legs just, like, disconnected and went down, but they reconnected right away, and I got up and I was like, oh, no.

00:45:25.000 No, I'm in trouble.

00:45:26.000 They weren't working good.

00:45:28.000 Everything wasn't working good.

00:45:29.000 And then I got dropped again.

00:45:30.000 He hit me with an uppercut and dropped me.

00:45:31.000 And then the referee stopped the fight.

00:45:33.000 Totally conscious the whole time.

00:45:34.000 But the feeling that you get when you get hit real hard is real weird.

00:45:39.000 It's like nothing works right anymore.

00:45:41.000 And you've got to get on your bike and try to move around and get everything working again.

00:45:45.000 And it might take 30 seconds before...

00:45:47.000 And that's that 30 seconds when he's also trained to kill you.

00:45:50.000 Now in the UFC... It's way more accurate because when you get knocked down, they climb on top of you and beat your fucking brains in or strangle you.

00:45:57.000 Which is really what's supposed to happen.

00:45:59.000 The whole thing of letting someone get up, what you're really doing is giving them a chance to get more damage.

00:46:05.000 That's true.

00:46:06.000 Because they can recover, but not all the way, you know, sometimes.

00:46:09.000 Sometimes a guy gets rocked early in a fight and you can tell for the whole rest of the fight they're still fucked up. 0.88

00:46:14.000 And they're very defensive.

00:46:16.000 So it's safer, in your opinion, the way...

00:46:19.000 UFC does it, where if you start wobbling, I'm immediately on you trying to kill you.

00:46:23.000 And then it's like, as opposed to boxing where they would get you up and you maybe...

00:46:28.000 I don't think either one is safe.

00:46:30.000 I think it's an unsafe sport.

00:46:32.000 It's as safe as we can make it.

00:46:34.000 We have laws of when you can hit someone, you can't hit them in the back of the head.

00:46:39.000 But it's not safe.

00:46:40.000 It's a very dangerous, very scary sport.

00:46:43.000 But I think realistically, when someone gets hurt, And someone finishes them off on the ground, that's probably less damage than they would have taken if you gave them a standing eight count, dusted their gloves off, made them move forward, and let them go back again and get really mollywalled.

00:47:01.000 You know, because a lot of times, those are where the real bad KOs come from, is when a guy's hurt and then he stands up and...

00:47:08.000 The only thing I can even closely compare this to is being in a car accident.

00:47:12.000 Yeah.

00:47:13.000 And I... Let me show you one of the greatest examples of that.

00:47:16.000 Alex Pereira, who was a two-division glory world champion.

00:47:20.000 Pull up Alex Pereira KO's Jason Wilness.

00:47:24.000 So he's like the most destructive kickboxer in the history of the sport.

00:47:29.000 And he went over to the UFC, became a two-division UFC champion.

00:47:34.000 Just lost his title last weekend in a really close fight.

00:47:36.000 Great fight.

00:47:37.000 But he hits this guy with a head kick and drops him.

00:47:41.000 And you can tell this guy's fucked. 0.70

00:47:43.000 But they give him the standing eight because he's in kickboxing, not in MMA. They give him the standing eight count, dust his gloves off.

00:47:49.000 You okay?

00:47:50.000 Come forward.

00:47:50.000 And then he gets hit with a flying knee on the chin and just sent into the shadow realm.

00:47:55.000 Right.

00:47:56.000 And it didn't need to happen this way.

00:47:58.000 And this is what happens when you take a guy who's like really rocked and kind of fucked.

00:48:03.000 So watch this.

00:48:04.000 So he catches him with a head kick.

00:48:08.000 By the way, Jason Welles had beaten him twice before, so he drops him with the left hand.

00:48:12.000 Is this the first fight?

00:48:14.000 Or is this the head kick?

00:48:16.000 I don't know.

00:48:18.000 I don't know if this is the one.

00:48:20.000 I think this is the one when they went back and forth.

00:48:22.000 I don't think this is the one where he KOs him.

00:48:24.000 I think this is the one where he drops him.

00:48:27.000 Yeah, try to find the later one.

00:48:30.000 This is it.

00:48:30.000 This is the one, because I can tell by his haircut.

00:48:34.000 Pereira, at this time, was the champion, and he was getting revenge on Willness, who had beaten him before, and stopped him with low kicks in one of their fights.

00:48:40.000 So he head kicks him.

00:48:41.000 Boom! 0.99

00:48:42.000 So right now, he's fucked.

00:48:44.000 In MMA, he would follow up, beat him a couple times, and that would be it.

00:48:47.000 But Willness is like, they're giving him a chance to clear his head.

00:48:50.000 And you're coached to get up immediately, show that you're okay.

00:48:53.000 Yeah, and he's like, move forward, then watch this.

00:48:56.000 Boom! 0.99

00:48:57.000 Oh my god!

00:48:59.000 That's the kind of shit that happens when you're really already fucked.

00:49:02.000 So he can hit you with this flying scissor knee right on the chin. 0.99

00:49:07.000 What the fuck is that, dude?

00:49:08.000 And he's the most ferocious knockout artist literally in the history of the sport.

00:49:11.000 Look at this.

00:49:12.000 On the chin.

00:49:13.000 And that's like legal and everything.

00:49:15.000 Oh, yeah.

00:49:16.000 It's encouraged.

00:49:18.000 It's not just legal.

00:49:20.000 It's celebrated.

00:49:21.000 That's one of the greatest techniques in the history of the sport.

00:49:23.000 And Alex Pereira, that's how he won his first UFC fight.

00:49:27.000 He won with that.

00:49:28.000 Want to see another nasty one? 0.50

00:49:29.000 Pull up Pereira, Kaos, Michaelitis. 0.99

00:49:32.000 You want to see another nasty one? 0.97

00:49:34.000 So this is Pereira's first entrance into the UFC, and I'm a giant fan of kickboxing.

00:49:41.000 So I watch Muay Thai, I watch Dutch kickboxing, I watch Glory, I watch everything I can about kickboxing, and I knew this guy was really special.

00:49:49.000 So I was completely hyping him up in this first UFC fight.

00:49:53.000 I'm like, just watch.

00:49:55.000 And he...

00:49:57.000 He came through in flying colors and he came through with that flying knee and it's it's so nuts the amount of power this guy can generate and With punches and with kicks, but with a flying knee you have so much torque You're literally throwing your body weight up into the air.

00:50:13.000 So how do you avoid a flying knee?

00:50:15.000 Just step out of the way?

00:50:16.000 It's in the second round Jamie, so it's right after this Like right at the beginning of the second round.

00:50:21.000 Yeah, so they start the second round and he's like fuck this dude.

00:50:25.000 I'm just gonna Catch him coming in and flatline him.

00:50:29.000 This is...

00:50:31.000 Watch this.

00:50:32.000 I mean, this is nutty.

00:50:35.000 Here it is.

00:50:40.000 Oof.

00:50:40.000 Oh my god That is so fast He's such a fucking animal.

00:50:53.000 He's such a monster, dude.

00:50:54.000 You can't block that.

00:50:57.000 You just try to get the fuck out of the way of that.

00:51:00.000 You don't want to block that because you certainly should block it rather than take it on the chin.

00:51:05.000 But once he's in the air like that, if that catches your arms, it could break your forearm.

00:51:10.000 I mean, the amount of power that's involved in that particular technique is fucking extraordinary.

00:51:16.000 Because it's a natural movement of your hips.

00:51:20.000 It's a thing that you do your whole life, running and jumping.

00:51:24.000 So you can explode very quickly.

00:51:26.000 And you're hitting someone with your knee, which is the most immobile part.

00:51:31.000 If you want to hit someone with a joint, it's elbows and knees, but the knees...

00:51:35.000 Preferable.

00:51:36.000 But aren't you putting yourself in a vulnerable position to throw a flying knee?

00:51:39.000 Yeah, you gotta wait till a guy's fucked. 1.00

00:51:41.000 And that's what he does.

00:51:42.000 He waits till you're fucked. 0.76

00:51:43.000 Because you are jumping in the air, exposing yourself.

00:51:46.000 So what I would do is I would move out of the way, Joe, and then I would pop him.

00:51:50.000 But some guys are just really good.

00:51:52.000 Like John Jones, when he won the light heavyweight title, one of the craziest things that John did, he was 22 years old, and he's fighting Mauricio Shogun Hua, who is a legend.

00:52:01.000 He was a light heavyweight champion.

00:52:02.000 He was a legend of this organization called...

00:52:08.000 He's a real legend of the sport.

00:52:11.000 And Jon opens with a flying knee.

00:52:13.000 Opens.

00:52:13.000 First move.

00:52:14.000 Flying knee.

00:52:15.000 Catches him.

00:52:15.000 And then just beats the shit out of him and wins the title and becomes the youngest ever UFC champion.

00:52:20.000 That's a great name.

00:52:21.000 Watch this.

00:52:21.000 This is the beginning of the fight.

00:52:22.000 Now, Shogun is, like I said, he's a fucking legend and a knockout artist.

00:52:28.000 And Jon starts right away.

00:52:30.000 Boom! 0.99

00:52:31.000 Flying knee to open up the fight. 0.87

00:52:36.000 And just put on a clinic.

00:52:38.000 Put on a clinic and won the title at 22 years of age.

00:52:40.000 That's a ballsy move to start with that.

00:52:42.000 He's a ballsy motherfucker.

00:52:42.000 Yeah, that's a big swing right out of the gate.

00:52:44.000 Yeah, that's a crazy move.

00:52:46.000 But some guys can pull it off, and it helps being tall.

00:52:50.000 Like, Alex is very tall.

00:52:51.000 John's tall, so it's hard to hit their chin.

00:52:53.000 But, you know, it doesn't always work.

00:52:57.000 Like, sometimes guys do it and they get knocked out cold.

00:52:59.000 How does your fucking kneecap not break, too?

00:53:01.000 It doesn't.

00:53:01.000 No, your kneecap versus chin.

00:53:03.000 I'll take kneecap all day long.

00:53:04.000 Especially when your knee's bent and you're hitting them with this part right here.

00:53:07.000 You can hit that pretty hard on things.

00:53:09.000 You'd be surprised.

00:53:11.000 I have so much respect for these athletes, and I'm also...

00:53:14.000 I can't be far enough away from it.

00:53:17.000 Want to see it go wrong?

00:53:18.000 I want to show you the flying knee go wrong.

00:53:19.000 Pull up Fedor Emelianenko versus...

00:53:27.000 Oh, Andrey Arlovsky, I'm sorry.

00:53:28.000 You want to see a flying knee go wrong?

00:53:30.000 Yeah, Andrey Arlovsky, Fedor Milianenko.

00:53:32.000 So this is, Andrey Arlovsky was actually winning this fight, and he actually was kind of tuning Fedor up, and he was hitting him with some big shots, and he got a little crazy.

00:53:40.000 And he leapt in with a flying knee and got flatlined.

00:53:42.000 Well, that's what I'm, that's...

00:53:44.000 This is what you would do.

00:53:45.000 That's what I was thinking.

00:53:45.000 This is what I would do.

00:53:46.000 No, but I was thinking, this is a vulnerable position.

00:53:48.000 You don't want to be in the air.

00:53:49.000 True.

00:53:50.000 So he's fighting the guy with the bald head.

00:53:53.000 That's Fedor Emelianenko, who's a legend.

00:53:55.000 So watch Arlovsky.

00:53:56.000 He catches him with a kick.

00:53:57.000 He's feeling cocky.

00:53:58.000 Tries the flying knee.

00:53:59.000 Boom! 0.99

00:54:00.000 Oh, shit.

00:54:01.000 Flatlined.

00:54:01.000 But he's fighting, and Fedor, that's literally the greatest heavyweight of all time.

00:54:06.000 If not one of the greatest, like, there's the argument that he's the greatest.

00:54:09.000 So he catches him on the chin as he's leaping in.

00:54:13.000 Like, perfect punch.

00:54:14.000 So the guy with the beard thought...

00:54:16.000 He thought he was vulnerable.

00:54:17.000 He was beating his ass a little bit.

00:54:19.000 And he made a mistake.

00:54:20.000 And he tried to come in cocky with a flying knee, and he got clipped on the jaw.

00:54:23.000 And as soon as he gets hit, you just see his flying knee knee just drop.

00:54:27.000 Also, you've got to think where Fedor threw that punch, because Fedor knew he was going in the air.

00:54:31.000 This is like the reads this guy's able to get.

00:54:34.000 He sees Arlovsky make a motion, like bend at the knees, like he's going to launch himself.

00:54:40.000 So if you look at where he punches him, he punches him so high up in the air, so he knew where his head was going to be.

00:54:46.000 Look at that.

00:54:46.000 Look how high he's...

00:54:47.000 See it?

00:54:48.000 He's ducked down, and Orlovsky's way up in the air, and he catches him perfectly on the chin.

00:54:53.000 That is just an understanding of positioning, where a guy's going to be, and what the timing of your punch is.

00:54:59.000 This is reminding me of the way Roger Federer would notice his opponent would...

00:55:06.000 Quarter of an inch, open up his grip on the run, and Roger would know, forehand slice is coming, I'll sneak in and pop. 0.86

00:55:12.000 And now it's a much different sport, obviously.

00:55:14.000 Really?

00:55:15.000 But it's reading...

00:55:16.000 Just the grip?

00:55:16.000 Yeah, dude, if you just...

00:55:17.000 Typically, he does it like this, and this time, he's doing it tiny...

00:55:20.000 Boom.

00:55:21.000 Wow.

00:55:22.000 What's so different about tennis, obviously, is then you just volleyball for a winner.

00:55:26.000 It's 15 love.

00:55:27.000 You don't get head kicked.

00:55:28.000 You don't get fucking knocked out.

00:55:29.000 I mean, this is why this shit fascinates me, but...

00:55:34.000 Well, the consequences are so great that people look at it as a barbaric, horrific thing, which is valid.

00:55:41.000 I understand why pacifists and people who are very peaceful don't want to have anything to do with violence.

00:55:46.000 I get it.

00:55:47.000 But what it is to me is the ultimate problem solving.

00:55:52.000 It's problem solving.

00:55:53.000 You have a person in front of you that is doing all these things to try to throw you off.

00:55:59.000 They're feinting you, they're moving, they're switching stances, they're shooting in for takedowns that they don't want so they can catch you with a punch on the way in.

00:56:06.000 There's so many variables you have to think about.

00:56:08.000 So it's just like high-level problem solving with dire physical consequences.

00:56:13.000 I love sport because it teaches life lessons with very low stakes.

00:56:21.000 In these sports, there's high stakes.

00:56:24.000 And that's very interesting for me because I would much rather my kid play soccer or tennis, learn some important lessons with low stakes.

00:56:31.000 But this type of thing, that is serious stakes, man.

00:56:35.000 It is serious stakes.

00:56:36.000 I think kids, especially boys, should all learn how to fight so that they don't ever fight.

00:56:41.000 That's what I think.

00:56:42.000 I, as a 45-year-old grown man, I wish I would have learned how to fight.

00:56:46.000 Yeah.

00:56:46.000 And I think it's probably not too late.

00:56:48.000 It's not too late.

00:56:49.000 I know you got a gym over here.

00:56:50.000 Yeah, I was telling you, you could get into jiu-jitsu.

00:56:51.000 You'd be great at it.

00:56:52.000 You have long limbs, you're athletic.

00:56:54.000 So that's what I should be doing.

00:56:55.000 Long limbs are huge for jiu-jitsu because there's certain things that you'll be able to catch that other people can't catch with shorter limbs, like a Darce choke.

00:57:02.000 So a Darce choke is, so say if you come to grab me and you have your head here and your arm wraps around me like this, I can shove my arm under like this. 0.96

00:57:15.000 Go off the side of your neck and clamp it like this, and now I've got you in a wicked choke. 1.00

00:57:20.000 It's called a Darce choke.

00:57:21.000 You will be way better at that than me, because you have an extra six inches that you could seal this thing up.

00:57:28.000 So your hand will go further than mine.

00:57:31.000 You'll be able to grab it deeper than I can.

00:57:33.000 Dude, I'm writing down Darce choke.

00:57:35.000 Yeah.

00:57:35.000 And what I'll do tonight on my YouTube is I'll watch some Darce chokes, and I... And then you do it the other way, it's an anaconda.

00:57:43.000 So you either go armpit this way, it's a darse, or you go head this way, armpit that way, it's an anaconda. 0.90

00:57:50.000 And with the anaconda, you roll like an anaconda and you squeeze them deeper into the choke.

00:57:54.000 And I just squeeze until the referee says it's over.

00:57:57.000 And your long legs, you could wrap around their body to secure them in place.

00:58:00.000 You could grab ahold of one of their legs so they can't turn away from you.

00:58:04.000 You could turn into them and fucking keep the squeeze on.

00:58:07.000 Dude, you'd be wicked at it.

00:58:09.000 In a competition, that happens until the ref calls it?

00:58:12.000 The person taps out most of the time.

00:58:14.000 They tap out.

00:58:14.000 Most of the time you tap out.

00:58:15.000 Because you know it's over.

00:58:17.000 You know it's over.

00:58:18.000 If you're a psycho, you go to sleep.

00:58:20.000 And there are a lot of psychos who just let people choke them unconscious.

00:58:23.000 That happens all the time.

00:58:24.000 Guys just say, fuck it.

00:58:25.000 I'm going to get choked unconscious.

00:58:26.000 And they just go out.

00:58:27.000 And then the referee stops you.

00:58:29.000 Hopefully.

00:58:31.000 But sometimes the referees miss it.

00:58:32.000 And sometimes someone's out for like seconds.

00:58:34.000 While someone's still fucking squeezing the shit out of their neck.

00:58:37.000 And then the referee finally figures.

00:58:41.000 I do absolutely love that in these sports there's this extreme violence, high stakes, but then also a simple tap.

00:58:51.000 Yes.

00:58:51.000 Is a mutual agreement.

00:58:53.000 100%.

00:58:54.000 That's fucking awesome.

00:58:55.000 And if you don't stop when someone taps, you will get kicked out of the sport.

00:58:58.000 Yeah.

00:58:59.000 There's a guy named Usamar Paul Harris who was one of the scariest motherfuckers to ever fight because he was a leg lock specialist.

00:59:05.000 Okay.

00:59:06.000 And what he would do is rip your knees apart.

00:59:08.000 And he wouldn't let go when you tapped.

00:59:10.000 And he got kicked out of the UFC for it.

00:59:12.000 Wow.

00:59:12.000 Because he did it to so many people.

00:59:13.000 Yeah.

00:59:13.000 He was known for not letting go.

00:59:15.000 Right.

00:59:15.000 And these guys would be screaming in agony and slapping and tapping.

00:59:21.000 Saying I'm out.

00:59:21.000 And he would be still twisting.

00:59:22.000 He was built like a human pit bull.

00:59:25.000 He was like 5'7", 185 pounds of solid muscle.

00:59:29.000 And he would just dive on your legs and roll into these positions and rip your knees apart. 0.93

00:59:35.000 Like with a heel hook. 0.98

00:59:37.000 A heel hook is so terrible because your knee has a lot of strength going forward and backwards.

00:59:43.000 But it has almost none going side to side.

00:59:45.000 So they isolate the top of it with their legs.

00:59:47.000 They wrap the heel into the crook of their elbow.

00:59:50.000 And then they wrench that motherfucker apart.

00:59:54.000 It's literally twisting your knee apart.

00:59:57.000 Terrifying.

00:59:58.000 Oh my god.

00:59:58.000 And he cripples people.

01:00:00.000 Like, you are fucked.

01:00:01.000 He'll tear your ACL, your MCL, your meniscus.

01:00:04.000 You're gonna go a whole year before you can fight again.

01:00:07.000 You're gonna have to get surgery to reconstruct your knee.

01:00:09.000 And then your knee's never gonna be the same because your meniscus is shot now.

01:00:12.000 And maybe some of your cartilage.

01:00:13.000 So this is him.

01:00:14.000 I don't know.

01:00:15.000 I don't know.

01:00:16.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:00:17.000 So this is a fight that he had against David Avalon, and this is fucked because they stop the motion and they put him back into the same position.

01:00:26.000 And when they put him back into the same position, he doesn't let go.

01:00:29.000 So he holds on to the heel hook and just wrenches the fucking shit out.

01:00:34.000 Like this right here.

01:00:35.000 He let go there.

01:00:36.000 He let go there because I think they were chastising him to make sure.

01:00:39.000 Look at that.

01:00:40.000 Look at what he does.

01:00:41.000 I don't want to look really.

01:00:42.000 And look at the build on this guy.

01:00:44.000 Paul Harris was a fucking specimen.

01:00:46.000 And he's trying to turn the knee sideways.

01:00:48.000 He's ripping this shit apart right here, man.

01:00:50.000 He's pulling it backwards.

01:00:52.000 It's backwards and at a slight angle.

01:00:55.000 I mean, this is horrific.

01:00:56.000 And look at the build on Paul Harris.

01:00:58.000 Imagine the fucking force.

01:01:00.000 The size of this guy's legs.

01:01:01.000 The size of his torso.

01:01:03.000 And perfect technique.

01:01:05.000 And he's just ripping his fucking knee apart.

01:01:07.000 That's a nasty knee bar right there. 0.99

01:01:09.000 That's so horrible to watch.

01:01:11.000 But in MMA, he wound up getting kicked out of the UFC. Because I think it was Mike Pierce.

01:01:17.000 See if you can find the Mike Pierce fight.

01:01:19.000 It might not have been Pierce at one of these fights.

01:01:22.000 I love that the tap...

01:01:24.000 Generally speaking, it does.

01:01:26.000 Yeah, of course.

01:01:26.000 But in this case, the Mike Pierce one, he's screaming and tapping, and Paul Harrods is still ripping it apart.

01:01:31.000 I mean, one of my favorite parts of tennis is how they'll battle for five and a half hours, and then they calmly walk.

01:01:36.000 So here it is, look.

01:01:37.000 He's tapping.

01:01:39.000 Watch.

01:01:39.000 So he gets it, he's tapping, and he won't let go.

01:01:43.000 He's still, when the referee's on him, he's still yanked on it.

01:01:45.000 So that extra second will just rip your shit apart.

01:01:50.000 So he taps immediately.

01:01:52.000 See?

01:01:52.000 None of this has to happen.

01:01:53.000 He was tapping immediately.

01:01:55.000 I feel like the ref was on that.

01:01:57.000 I know, but it's like Paul Harris doesn't give a fuck.

01:01:59.000 He's out for blood.

01:02:00.000 I mean, he had a crazy childhood.

01:02:03.000 He grew up on a farm with no food.

01:02:07.000 He's feral.

01:02:09.000 He's feral.

01:02:09.000 And he's super technical.

01:02:11.000 Which would serve you, I'm sure.

01:02:12.000 Oh, yeah.

01:02:13.000 Well, until you get kicked out of the sport.

01:02:16.000 God, it's incredibly violent, but also systematic in its understanding of the human body.

01:02:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:02:28.000 We're going to know that the knee doesn't go this way.

01:02:30.000 No, it's really, really technical.

01:02:32.000 All sports are like this, actually.

01:02:33.000 Yeah, I think all sports at the highest levels, they have to be like that.

01:02:36.000 Because you only get so far with genetics and so far with natural speed and endurance.

01:02:41.000 There's certain aspects of it that require a careful, considered study.

01:02:45.000 And wouldn't you, if you know your opponent is a guy that likes to do the...

01:02:51.000 Wouldn't you then in your training work on defending that and also making sure your knee can withstand more of that than normal?

01:02:57.000 No, you're not going to be able to do that.

01:02:59.000 There's no special knee pill you can take.

01:03:02.000 You've got to tap when you get into those positions, and then you've got to make sure that you don't get into those positions, which is the most important thing.

01:03:08.000 The tapping must be so humbling as a fighter because you've trained so hard, you want to win so badly, and yet you have to do this thing.

01:03:16.000 You have to press the eject button.

01:03:17.000 Well, hopefully you will tap because guys haven't tapped and they've gotten their arms broken in half.

01:03:21.000 And I've seen quite a few of those, including legends like Frank Mir one time.

01:03:26.000 Too much pride you mean to tap?

01:03:28.000 Yeah.

01:03:28.000 Because he fought Antonio Noguera, who was another legend who was former heavyweight champion of pride.

01:03:34.000 And he caught him in a Kimura and snapped his upper arm.

01:03:37.000 And we watched his arm crack and then go limp.

01:03:39.000 And you could see like where it was cracked up here.

01:03:41.000 Oh, it was horrific.

01:03:43.000 That's terrible.

01:03:44.000 So hard to watch.

01:03:45.000 When you're commentating, are you...

01:03:49.000 Present moment completely?

01:03:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:52.000 100%.

01:03:52.000 Locked in.

01:03:52.000 You're not thinking like...

01:03:55.000 It's not like these baseball commentators were like, I got a story I'll tell later in this.

01:03:58.000 No.

01:03:59.000 No, because it is that.

01:04:00.000 Yeah, great.

01:04:01.000 Especially not while the actual fight is going on.

01:04:03.000 The actual fight is life and death.

01:04:05.000 You have to be locked in.

01:04:07.000 But Daniel Cormier, my...

01:04:09.000 So there's like two color commentators, me and Daniel Cormier, and there's John Anik, who's the play-by-play guy.

01:04:14.000 Me and Daniel fuck around a lot.

01:04:16.000 We joke around a lot about stuff.

01:04:17.000 Because he's like a fun guy.

01:04:19.000 But when things are serious, we're serious.

01:04:21.000 You have to be like, you know, this is like, you're representing these people's hard work.

01:04:27.000 You're trying to like put words to...

01:04:29.000 I love that.

01:04:30.000 Yeah.

01:04:30.000 You have to be very serious about it.

01:04:32.000 Because the stakes are so high.

01:04:34.000 And it's wild, though, that people might know you.

01:04:38.000 If they're just being introduced to you as the commentator for that and maybe don't know the other stuff and What's confusing for sure, but it's also like it's one of the things that I'm most Impressed with by what you do is as someone that has this passion for tennis.

01:04:53.000 I'm like It's so cool.

01:04:55.000 You dive into a completely different world.

01:04:57.000 Yeah We just can't apologize for it.

01:05:00.000 You can't wonder what other people think about it.

01:05:02.000 Right.

01:05:02.000 You just have to be yourself.

01:05:03.000 Right.

01:05:04.000 And I grew up a martial artist.

01:05:06.000 Right.

01:05:07.000 Martial arts is an enormous part of my life.

01:05:09.000 Yeah.

01:05:09.000 It's an enormous part of like how I became who I am.

01:05:12.000 Yeah.

01:05:12.000 So for me, like commentating on martial arts is normal.

01:05:16.000 Right.

01:05:16.000 You're not a comedian who then...

01:05:17.000 No.

01:05:18.000 You switched over to martial arts because it served you.

01:05:20.000 It's your foundation of who you are, and you also happen to be a comedian and podcast host.

01:05:24.000 Yeah, but I'm not interested in being funny.

01:05:26.000 I'm just trying to do that.

01:05:28.000 I've done commentary on professional pool, too.

01:05:30.000 Whoa.

01:05:31.000 Because I play pool, and I play pretty good.

01:05:34.000 So I really understand the game, and I know what's going on.

01:05:36.000 So I've done commentary on that, too.

01:05:38.000 It's the same thing.

01:05:39.000 What's your favorite pool movie?

01:05:40.000 The Hustler.

01:05:42.000 The only answer to that question is The Hustler.

01:05:44.000 I thought The Color of Money had a run.

01:05:47.000 It's okay.

01:05:48.000 The Color of Money is good.

01:05:50.000 It's a good tournament movie.

01:05:53.000 There's some things in it, and because Paul Newman was in it, it kind of gave it some...

01:05:58.000 Validity.

01:05:59.000 Yeah.

01:05:59.000 Because it was the same Walter Tevis novel as The Hustler, The Color of Money.

01:06:03.000 It was very different.

01:06:04.000 The book was very different, though.

01:06:05.000 But, yeah, The Color of Money was great because it got a lot of people playing pool again.

01:06:09.000 But The Hustler is just an amazing film.

01:06:12.000 Like, the actual film itself is amazing.

01:06:15.000 It's like, Piper Laurie is incredible in it.

01:06:18.000 It's just...

01:06:19.000 George C. Scott is in it.

01:06:22.000 Jackie Gleason plays Minnesota Fats.

01:06:25.000 By the way, Jackie Gleason was a real pool player.

01:06:28.000 He's probably the only guy that's ever played a pool player in a movie that really could play.

01:06:32.000 My brother once got a book for Christmas called How to Hustle Your Friends a Pool.

01:06:36.000 It was in our basement.

01:06:38.000 We had a pool table.

01:06:39.000 But it was one of those things, same, that I worked at it, I could never get it right, and eventually other things came more naturally to me.

01:06:47.000 But it is fun.

01:06:48.000 Pool is something that if you really want to play right, you have to get coached.

01:06:52.000 Okay.

01:06:52.000 Yeah.

01:06:53.000 It's just like tennis, I'm sure.

01:06:54.000 It's like you can develop some bad habits and bad fundamentals that you're never going to pass a certain level of play.

01:07:02.000 But I think it's like everything.

01:07:04.000 I think it's like chess.

01:07:05.000 It's like tennis.

01:07:06.000 It's like Schultz was in here the other day, and he's into this sport, Paddle.

01:07:10.000 Have you seen Paddle?

01:07:11.000 Is this P-A-D-E-L? Yes. 0.99

01:07:13.000 Paddle?

01:07:13.000 Yeah.

01:07:13.000 Oh, is it Paddle?

01:07:15.000 I've heard Padel.

01:07:16.000 It depends on how pretentious you want to be.

01:07:19.000 Perfect, of course.

01:07:20.000 Or if you're Spanish.

01:07:22.000 Oh, did they say Padel?

01:07:23.000 Oh, well, why don't we call it Padel then?

01:07:26.000 It's because Schultz said that's what they said.

01:07:27.000 He said paddle, like a New Yorker. 0.62

01:07:30.000 Yeah, so, you know, tennis has had this great historical run on elite racquet sports, and then pickleball has been this counter-response to tennis.

01:07:44.000 Ball, loud noise, don't really have to move much.

01:07:49.000 And pickleball's been taking off.

01:07:51.000 I don't know if you've played or if you've seen it.

01:07:53.000 Kid Rock plays every day.

01:07:54.000 Okay, perfect.

01:07:55.000 He gets up at 8 in the morning and plays pickleball with his trainer.

01:07:57.000 That is exactly my point.

01:08:00.000 I was in Scottsdale, Arizona recently.

01:08:02.000 I did an hour of pickleball.

01:08:04.000 The community there had music going, cracking beers.

01:08:07.000 Costa, come over, play with us.

01:08:09.000 Very fun.

01:08:10.000 I then go over to the other side and play tennis, which is my sport.

01:08:14.000 And no joke, this older couple says, you're talking too loudly on the courts, right?

01:08:18.000 It's this beautiful dichotomy of these two sports.

01:08:21.000 I don't know if pickleball's a sport.

01:08:22.000 But Padel comes along and seems to be this middle ground.

01:08:29.000 What I don't like about pickleball is you get to what they call the kitchen line and you can't move anymore.

01:08:35.000 You're frozen.

01:08:36.000 So you just stand there frozen and you knock the ball around.

01:08:40.000 I like a sport.

01:08:41.000 I want 360-degree movement.

01:08:43.000 I don't want the dimensions of the court to restrict my movement or the rules of the game.

01:08:48.000 Padel seems to be both.

01:08:49.000 It's tennis, but it's in this box, and they sometimes run outside of the box.

01:08:54.000 Yeah, they run outside the box.

01:08:55.000 I mean, it's fucking insane, and I've actually never played, but the points never end because you're on this...

01:09:03.000 I just see people blowing their ACLs out.

01:09:05.000 He's going outside the box.

01:09:07.000 I know, that's nuts.

01:09:08.000 That is nuts.

01:09:09.000 So it almost seems gimmicky to me.

01:09:11.000 That's funny that Andrew plays.

01:09:15.000 But...

01:09:15.000 I would like to play this.

01:09:16.000 And look, you know, also, one of the best things that happened for racquet sports is HDTV, dude.

01:09:21.000 When you were a kid watching Jimmy Connors and John Mack, you'd never even see the fucking ball.

01:09:27.000 It was the same color as the court.

01:09:29.000 And this shit now is unbelievable to watch.

01:09:31.000 That's like what they've done with hockey, where they highlight the puck.

01:09:33.000 I love that shit.

01:09:34.000 That's a game changer.

01:09:35.000 Now I know what's going on.

01:09:36.000 At first people made fun of it, and I was like, I need...

01:09:38.000 And in hockey with the...

01:09:41.000 Substitution's on the fly.

01:09:42.000 I never know who the fuck's on the ice.

01:09:44.000 Yeah.

01:09:44.000 I love that though.

01:09:45.000 I love that they do that.

01:09:46.000 That's so cool.

01:09:47.000 I've been watching professional lacrosse lately.

01:09:49.000 Once I realized they could beat the fuck out of each other.

01:09:52.000 I didn't know that they could fight like they do in hockey.

01:09:54.000 I didn't know they could fight.

01:09:55.000 They fight and they wear shoes, which is crazy.

01:09:58.000 Because now you're bare knuckle boxing in the middle of a game.

01:10:00.000 What does the shoes have to do with it?

01:10:02.000 What do you mean?

01:10:02.000 You get grip.

01:10:03.000 Oh, you mean like a cleated shoe?

01:10:04.000 Well, the difference between running around on ice skates, you're sliding around.

01:10:08.000 The fighting is like, yeah, they're fighting, but they're kind of compromised because they can't really like, you know, good skaters can kind of hold.

01:10:13.000 It's not like having grip with your shoes and being able to really, you can really hurt people.

01:10:19.000 They're beating the shit out of each other.

01:10:20.000 I'm like, wow.

01:10:22.000 Lacrosse always kind of had the like douchey.

01:10:26.000 Rich kids sport, but it is incredibly...

01:10:28.000 They stopped doing this in the 90s.

01:10:30.000 Yeah, I was going to say, they stopped doing this.

01:10:32.000 I don't watch hockey.

01:10:34.000 My favorite...

01:10:35.000 I thought they put a circle around it when it flies around.

01:10:39.000 It got a lot of pushback, but I always enjoyed it.

01:10:44.000 Sorry.

01:10:44.000 Sorry, hockey people.

01:10:46.000 It might show it sometimes in a highlight.

01:10:48.000 That's funny.

01:10:48.000 I always avoided winter sports when I was a kid.

01:10:51.000 I didn't learn how to ski until I was in my 40s.

01:10:54.000 And I never learned how to ice skate.

01:10:55.000 Because I was fighting all the time.

01:10:57.000 So I didn't want to do anything that would hurt myself doing.

01:10:59.000 And everybody was like, we're going to go skiing.

01:11:01.000 I was like, uh-uh.

01:11:02.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:11:03.000 I need these.

01:11:04.000 It was super important.

01:11:06.000 This got everybody excited, though, a few weeks ago.

01:11:08.000 The USA-Canada game.

01:11:10.000 There was nine fights in three times.

01:11:13.000 They just started squaring off.

01:11:14.000 Yeah, why are we upset at Canada?

01:11:15.000 Is this over tariffs?

01:11:17.000 Yes, 100%.

01:11:19.000 They booed us over tariffs.

01:11:21.000 They got a ton of attention.

01:11:24.000 Who's red and who's blue?

01:11:26.000 Well, Canada's red.

01:11:28.000 There you go.

01:11:29.000 Who's winning this exchange?

01:11:30.000 Red, white, and blue is America.

01:11:32.000 One dude keeps his helmet on.

01:11:33.000 That's ridiculous.

01:11:34.000 That helmet's a problem.

01:11:35.000 I do love when you hear their microphones during a fight and they fight and then they go like, you ready to be done?

01:11:40.000 Yeah, I'm ready to be done.

01:11:40.000 I love that.

01:11:42.000 I was at the comic strip in Edmonton years ago when Canada played US in the gold medal game.

01:11:49.000 Someone sent me the country's water usage.

01:11:55.000 During that game.

01:11:56.000 And at every period end, the water usage would go up because everyone would go to the bathroom.

01:12:01.000 Right.

01:12:01.000 And it was like the whole fucking country went to the bathroom at the same time.

01:12:06.000 And Canada won.

01:12:07.000 I think it was in overtime.

01:12:08.000 I was the only American there.

01:12:09.000 But, man, do they love a good winter sport up there.

01:12:13.000 We've got to become friends with Canada again.

01:12:14.000 We have to, like, you know.

01:12:16.000 I'm down.

01:12:16.000 This is so ridiculous.

01:12:18.000 I can't believe that there's, like, anti-American and anti-Canadian sentiment going on.

01:12:23.000 It's the dumbest fucking feud.

01:12:24.000 There it is.

01:12:25.000 That's nuts.

01:12:26.000 Look at the water consumption.

01:12:28.000 That's crazy.

01:12:29.000 I love on this pod where if I say something, I gotta be ready for you guys to fact check my ass.

01:12:34.000 Jamie's ready.

01:12:36.000 Is there anti-Canadian sentiment?

01:12:38.000 Yeah, there's a lot of idiots that now think that they're our fucking enemy.

01:12:42.000 Why are we subsidizing Canada?

01:12:45.000 Well, they don't have their own military.

01:12:47.000 Well, they don't, so let's just deal with it as it is.

01:12:51.000 You know, Trudeau is out, right?

01:12:54.000 He's already leaving.

01:12:55.000 Yeah, they got a new guy who's just as bad.

01:12:57.000 Same thing!

01:12:59.000 They got a new party, 150 people voted, and now they have a new guy running the country.

01:13:03.000 But their whole election system is so different.

01:13:06.000 They don't have a specific time when they have elections.

01:13:09.000 They can call an election, and I think it happens within three weeks.

01:13:12.000 The whole thing is so crazy.

01:13:14.000 And so, I don't know what's happening with their politics, but I just want America and Canada to get along.

01:13:19.000 I think it's ridiculous.

01:13:20.000 It's a good, as someone who's from Ann Arbor, Michigan, you know.

01:13:23.000 I don't really think they should be our 51st state.

01:13:26.000 There, I said it.

01:13:27.000 You said it?

01:13:27.000 It's on record.

01:13:28.000 It would be fun if it happened.

01:13:30.000 It would be fun.

01:13:31.000 I think Greenland's more accessible.

01:13:33.000 Yeah.

01:13:33.000 You could probably buy that.

01:13:34.000 Yeah.

01:13:35.000 If you want a 51st state, it's Greenland.

01:13:37.000 Plus, if global warming is real because of all the digging and oil and all that shit, you know, it'd be good to have a cold spot to eventually warm up.

01:13:44.000 I just read this crazy book called Power Metals by Vince.

01:13:50.000 Bizer, possibly.

01:13:51.000 We had him on the show, Daily Show.

01:13:52.000 And it's all about, like, minerals and metals and what we need for our batteries and cobalt mining in Africa.

01:13:58.000 And I went down all this YouTube shit with, like, the child, you know, labor and all.

01:14:03.000 But very, I was very ignorant to how much we need and use metals.

01:14:08.000 Nickel, copper, you know, wild.

01:14:12.000 Batteries, EVs, everything.

01:14:14.000 And so then when the news came out that Trump wanted Greenland, I was like, oh, this is starting to make more sense to me now.

01:14:19.000 There's a lot of stuff up there.

01:14:21.000 There's also a lot of stuff in the sky.

01:14:23.000 If they can mine asteroids, if they can successfully figure out how to mine asteroids, they can get a lot of precious minerals from asteroids.

01:14:29.000 Let's fucking do that.

01:14:30.000 Yeah, well, that's a few decades away, but they'll figure it out eventually.

01:14:34.000 They've been able to get samples from asteroids, and they know what the composites are.

01:14:40.000 And there's asteroids out there that are...

01:14:41.000 They're filled with trillions of dollars in minerals.

01:14:44.000 That is fucking nuts.

01:14:45.000 I know, it's nuts.

01:14:46.000 Yeah, and they can figure it out.

01:14:48.000 They will.

01:14:48.000 They'll eventually figure it out.

01:14:50.000 But I had Siddharth Kara on, who has done some pretty brilliant and brave investigative work on the cobalt mines.

01:14:59.000 And he took video of what they call artisanal mines.

01:15:03.000 It's essentially slaves digging this stuff out of the ground with their babies on their back.

01:15:08.000 This is from Siddharth's book.

01:15:11.000 I mean, this is fucking crazy.

01:15:12.000 And they're digging the cobalt out of the ground literally with sticks.

01:15:17.000 Everybody's breathing it in.

01:15:18.000 It's all toxic.

01:15:19.000 These women have babies on their back. 1.00

01:15:20.000 The babies are breathing it in.

01:15:22.000 And then there's these pools, right, that you put the water, and it's toxic water, and the pools are different colors.

01:15:30.000 And we don't know where this goes, and the water seeps in.

01:15:33.000 And is this also, I can get the new iPhone 14 Max or whatever the fuck it is?

01:15:37.000 100%.

01:15:37.000 That's exactly what it is.

01:15:39.000 It's terrible.

01:15:40.000 It's the only way we're getting that stuff.

01:15:42.000 Right.

01:15:42.000 It's most of the cobalts coming from that area.

01:15:44.000 And it's also then you go to the actual construction of the phone itself and you see those factories, those Foxconn factories where they have nets around them to keep people from jumping off the roofs.

01:15:56.000 And you realize these people are working in these horrific conditions so that you can get an iPhone that costs $13.99 instead of $15.99 or whatever the fuck it would be if it was made in America with people paid a working wage and health care.

01:16:09.000 All the stuff you're supposed to get if you're going to be working.

01:16:11.000 Especially if you have a company like Apple that's worth more than any corporation ever.

01:16:16.000 Like, Apple's insanely profitable.

01:16:18.000 So we did this piece at The Daily Show once about the sugar cane agriculture in the central Florida.

01:16:28.000 They over-fertilize it.

01:16:30.000 It makes more sugar faster.

01:16:31.000 All of the fertilization goes down to Lake Okeechobee, then goes out to the oceans where the algae blooms, the manatees die, da-da-da.

01:16:39.000 And I'm just going, I think most people would pay an extra 25 cents a year for this not to happen to spend more on sugar.

01:16:48.000 Why are we doing this?

01:16:50.000 I would pay more to have my iPhone be made in America by American hands.

01:16:54.000 Yeah, we've talked about that, but the problem is the infrastructure that's required to be able to build phones here is a decade away.

01:17:03.000 It takes a long time to build the kind of factories that can have the tolerances of these chips.

01:17:08.000 They've been doing it in China forever.

01:17:10.000 So most of- I mean, I was loading my kids in the car, put my phone on top of my car because I didn't have an extra hand, forget it's there, driving through Pennsylvania.

01:17:22.000 Yeah, and it's gone.

01:17:23.000 I hear it's bop, bop, bop all over the highway.

01:17:25.000 It's bouncing.

01:17:26.000 I stop.

01:17:27.000 I finally find my phone in the woods, and 911 is on the phone.

01:17:31.000 Whoa.

01:17:31.000 We recognized that there was a crash.

01:17:33.000 Are you okay?

01:17:35.000 Holy shit.

01:17:35.000 And I'm like, how the fuck?

01:17:36.000 What?

01:17:37.000 Holy shit.

01:17:38.000 That's in this thing?

01:17:39.000 Yeah.

01:17:39.000 That's pretty wild.

01:17:40.000 It's wild.

01:17:41.000 It's also watching everything you do and listening to all your conversations and recommending Google searches.

01:17:49.000 Why don't you buy this, Michael?

01:17:51.000 Hey, Michael, maybe you'd be interested in buying this.

01:17:53.000 It seems like you were interested.

01:17:54.000 You were talking about vacation homes in Hawaii.

01:17:57.000 Look, Michael.

01:17:58.000 What about when you've already bought it?

01:17:59.000 That is weird.

01:18:00.000 Yeah, it's weird.

01:18:01.000 When it's feeding me a thing, I'm in the algorithm.

01:18:04.000 Yeah, you get sucked into the algorithm.

01:18:07.000 It's an interesting world that we live in with all that stuff.

01:18:10.000 Because it's like you're constantly getting inundated.

01:18:12.000 That's one of the things that I really enjoy about podcasts.

01:18:14.000 It's the one time for three hours a day where I don't look at my phone.

01:18:18.000 I don't have any text coming in.

01:18:20.000 It's on do not disturb.

01:18:21.000 I don't care.

01:18:23.000 I mean, that could arguably be why maybe you have this supernatural memory and brain power.

01:18:31.000 Because you, more than anybody, probably...

01:18:34.000 In the world, maybe United States, are actually away from this for four hours just talking.

01:18:39.000 That could be interesting.

01:18:40.000 Did I just crack something?

01:18:41.000 That's something, maybe something to that, but I think it's just the sheer volume of people that I've talked to.

01:18:46.000 It's like you're getting information.

01:18:47.000 But you're retaining a lot of that.

01:18:49.000 I've always been good at that for some reason.

01:18:51.000 I mean, you just referenced the guest you had in the previous book.

01:18:54.000 Yeah.

01:18:56.000 Are you retaining, are you doing a trick or anything to retain that?

01:19:00.000 No.

01:19:00.000 You're just locked in and engaged.

01:19:02.000 Yeah.

01:19:03.000 I take supplements from memory, too, though.

01:19:06.000 I take AlphaBrain, which is called a nootropic.

01:19:09.000 I saw it out there.

01:19:10.000 You can grab something.

01:19:11.000 I didn't want to be too sharp for the pod.

01:19:15.000 No, get in there. 0.98

01:19:15.000 You have that thing, that vending machine. 0.98

01:19:16.000 You get free AlphaBrain.

01:19:18.000 You just press the button.

01:19:19.000 How many pods do you get free AlphaBrain on?

01:19:22.000 That's pretty sick.

01:19:22.000 Any one you want.

01:19:25.000 But that stuff's legit.

01:19:26.000 It really works.

01:19:28.000 That was from...

01:19:34.000 I had already had experience with nootropics because there's a company called Neuro One.

01:19:42.000 And Bill Romanowski, the football player, developed it because he was having memory problems after all the hits.

01:19:49.000 And I was on a radio show in San Francisco, and one of the guys was working out with Bill Romanowski, and he started taking this Neuro One.

01:19:56.000 He's like, dude, I'm so much more focused.

01:19:58.000 It's really great.

01:19:59.000 I'm like, okay, let me try this.

01:20:01.000 And I was like, oh, this is legit.

01:20:03.000 I feel like my mind feels clearer.

01:20:05.000 I feel like I have more thought energy, if that makes any sense.

01:20:09.000 So then we started experimenting with different ones.

01:20:12.000 There's a bunch I like.

01:20:13.000 One of them is this company, Neuro.

01:20:15.000 These are mints, Neuro mints, but they make Neuro gum, which I'm a big fan of.

01:20:19.000 I chew it all the time.

01:20:20.000 It's gum that has a little bit of caffeine and a little bit of theanine in it.

01:20:25.000 What's the...

01:20:26.000 The goal, just to kind of keep the brain energy high?

01:20:29.000 Yes.

01:20:30.000 Yeah, you want to provide your brain with the nutrients your brain needs to produce human neurotransmitters.

01:20:36.000 All right, I'm going to take this.

01:20:37.000 Maybe we'll do like a before or after.

01:20:39.000 That, you know, is mine.

01:20:40.000 I usually take two.

01:20:41.000 Okay.

01:20:42.000 I'm going to take the mints.

01:20:43.000 But they're legit.

01:20:44.000 So this is one.

01:20:45.000 NeuroGum's another one.

01:20:47.000 TrueBrain is another one that I've tried.

01:20:48.000 It's really good.

01:20:49.000 It's like little packets you drink.

01:20:51.000 I've found...

01:20:52.000 I just assumed it was like kids and age and...

01:20:55.000 Getting older that I'll lose my train of thought more often than I ever have before.

01:20:59.000 Oh, yeah.

01:21:00.000 And I hate it.

01:21:01.000 Writing a joke, it's not fun.

01:21:03.000 And everything I read says, like, keep exercising, get blood flow in your body, maybe sauna helps.

01:21:11.000 Sleep's a big one.

01:21:12.000 Isn't it crazy how much an athlete, the best athletes, treat sleep?

01:21:18.000 Oh, yeah.

01:21:18.000 I mean, Pete Sampras used to travel with duct tape.

01:21:21.000 So when he'd get to the hotel, he would tape the curtain.

01:21:25.000 To the window so no excess light would get in because he wanted like a float tank situation.

01:21:31.000 And I'm like, you know, at that level when you're playing for one in the world, like all that little stuff.

01:21:36.000 Yep.

01:21:37.000 And that's wild.

01:21:38.000 Meanwhile, you get my house.

01:21:39.000 I lay down.

01:21:40.000 We shut off the lights.

01:21:41.000 Sonos has a light.

01:21:42.000 The Wi-Fi thing has a light.

01:21:44.000 The clock has so much extra excess light all around.

01:21:47.000 Yeah.

01:21:47.000 It's not good.

01:21:48.000 Maybe that's why I can't remember the joke I'm about to tell.

01:21:51.000 Sleep is a big problem.

01:21:52.000 Yeah.

01:21:52.000 You know, you really need to get a solid seven, eight hours of sleep every night.

01:21:56.000 And if you don't, you're going to feel it.

01:21:57.000 One of the best supplements for mitigating the effects of sleep deprivation is actually creatine.

01:22:03.000 Okay.

01:22:03.000 Creatine is actually...

01:22:04.000 My buddy just started taking it.

01:22:06.000 I don't know.

01:22:06.000 I take it every day.

01:22:08.000 It's legit.

01:22:08.000 I took it in college.

01:22:09.000 The strength team coach made me take it.

01:22:12.000 Bothered my stomach.

01:22:13.000 Well, there's different forms of creatine.

01:22:16.000 I take it in gummy form, which doesn't seem to bother me at all.

01:22:19.000 I've had people that take it like liquid, they pour it into water and they get diarrhea.

01:22:23.000 I haven't had that happen, but it's also like there's different kinds of creatine.

01:22:27.000 You want really good creatine, like you want a reputable company that makes creatine monohydrate.

01:22:32.000 And then there's another thing called HMB that people mix with creatine.

01:22:36.000 But creatine, besides being a muscle builder, because it really does enhance your recovery and helps you build muscle, it also is a nootropic.

01:22:46.000 It also helps brain function.

01:22:48.000 Which makes sense, because if your body works better, your brain works better.

01:22:51.000 It makes you retain more water.

01:22:53.000 You have more water in your body, which is obviously also a good thing, especially for an athlete, and especially for someone who wants to think.

01:23:00.000 One of the worst ways to think is if you're dehydrated.

01:23:02.000 If you're dehydrated and tired, you're fucked.

01:23:05.000 You're working on 50% brain capacity.

01:23:08.000 Well, I love watching sports.

01:23:12.000 In the end, you see these silly mistakes always.

01:23:15.000 Why would they do that?

01:23:17.000 Why'd the ball go through his legs?

01:23:18.000 Why did he choose to serve to that side?

01:23:20.000 Why did he throw the fastball down the middle?

01:23:22.000 Because they're fucking dehydrated and tired, and it's crazy how that affects brain function.

01:23:28.000 And that's why I love the couch fan.

01:23:31.000 Oh my god, why did he throw that?

01:23:33.000 With a beer in your hands, big belly.

01:23:35.000 You're literally drinking a beer.

01:23:36.000 This guy's a pussy. 1.00

01:23:38.000 If I was getting that money, I'd fight Mike Tyson.

01:23:42.000 I'd come out swinging.

01:23:44.000 Yeah, the couch fan is their best.

01:23:47.000 In fights, you see it all the time.

01:23:49.000 When people are exhausted, they make terrible decisions.

01:23:50.000 They shoot for takedowns, they get caught in guillotine chokes because they're exposed.

01:23:54.000 They're exhausted, and they just take a chance, and they don't have the energy to complete the technique correctly.

01:24:00.000 Yeah.

01:24:01.000 Oh, dude, I mean, my parenting with a full night's sleep versus, like, had an early flight, had to fly, I mean, it's crazy.

01:24:08.000 Yeah, everything is.

01:24:09.000 I mean, I'm like, I'd like to think a kind, patient parent on a good night's sleep, but, like, when I get home after a road gig or whatever, even coming up this Sunday, I have an early flight, I'm going to get to Brooklyn, I know it's going to be 1 p.m., and the wife's going to hand me the kids and go, your turn.

01:24:24.000 Right.

01:24:24.000 And I'm going to be like, dude, the patience is going to be tough.

01:24:27.000 Well, you're gonna be exhausted from the flight.

01:24:30.000 Yep.

01:24:30.000 You know what I found helps a lot from flights is, if you can, work out immediately.

01:24:36.000 After?

01:24:36.000 Right when you land.

01:24:37.000 Okay.

01:24:38.000 Like, right when you land.

01:24:39.000 Just get into it.

01:24:40.000 Just get something going.

01:24:41.000 Even if it's 20 minutes, do a bunch of push-ups and sit-ups and chin-ups.

01:24:44.000 Just get it going.

01:24:46.000 Just reset the clock.

01:24:48.000 Because when you exert yourself, like, hard, you have a hard, you know, 20 minutes, half hour of working out, it resets you.

01:24:55.000 And you're like, I'll get back.

01:24:56.000 I'm okay.

01:24:57.000 I'm very excited about this weekend because my former assistant coach at Illinois, where I play tennis, is the head coach here at Texas.

01:25:06.000 Oh, IUT? IUT. Nice.

01:25:08.000 So he's won an NCAA championship.

01:25:10.000 His name is Bruce Burke.

01:25:11.000 He's an excellent coach.

01:25:12.000 But he's like, dude, come hit with us.

01:25:14.000 Oh, wow.

01:25:15.000 So I'm going to be training with the Texas team, and they're beasts.

01:25:18.000 These guys are...

01:25:20.000 So that's exciting for me.

01:25:22.000 That's cool.

01:25:22.000 That's super fun just to get to do that.

01:25:24.000 And then perform at Mothership, dude.

01:25:25.000 Never even stepped foot in this place.

01:25:27.000 Oh, I'm excited for you to go.

01:25:29.000 And it's selling out so fast.

01:25:31.000 I mean, you've created it.

01:25:32.000 Last time I was here, it was like still an idea.

01:25:35.000 Yeah.

01:25:35.000 Adam Egott was around, but now, I mean, it's just amazing, man.

01:25:40.000 You've built something amazing.

01:25:42.000 Yeah, it's as good, it's better than we have ever hoped.

01:25:46.000 We never hoped it was going to be what it is now.

01:25:48.000 It's perfect.

01:25:49.000 Was the Comedy Store a foundational thought with this?

01:25:56.000 Oh, yeah.

01:25:56.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:25:57.000 Because Mitzi's room is obviously a testament to her.

01:25:59.000 And I never met Mitzi.

01:26:00.000 I never fucking met her.

01:26:00.000 That's crazy.

01:26:01.000 That's her. 0.88

01:26:03.000 That painting's her.

01:26:04.000 Let me ask something that's crude.

01:26:05.000 Okay.

01:26:05.000 Was she a hot...

01:26:07.000 She was hot when she was young. 0.59

01:26:08.000 Yeah, okay.

01:26:09.000 When she looked like that.

01:26:10.000 She's hot. 1.00

01:26:10.000 Because I see, like, I go to the La Jolla Comedy Store and I see all the pictures of her and I'm like, I think Mitzi was hot. 1.00

01:26:15.000 Yeah.

01:26:15.000 She was hot when she was young.

01:26:17.000 I didn't meet her then.

01:26:19.000 I met her in 94. You know, she was already quite a bit older.

01:26:22.000 And she started suffering the beginnings of her neurological condition.

01:26:27.000 Like, she would have a little bit of shakes.

01:26:29.000 But she was there.

01:26:30.000 Yep.

01:26:30.000 And, you know, you could have conversations with her.

01:26:32.000 And she helped me a lot.

01:26:34.000 And she also helped.

01:26:37.000 Foster an environment of creativity and of collaboration.

01:26:43.000 It was a home for a lot of road comics.

01:26:49.000 There was this thing that you knew that you would go home.

01:26:52.000 And on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, we would be at the store having the time of our lives.

01:26:56.000 On Tuesday and Wednesday nights, we would be working on new jokes.

01:26:59.000 We would be doing sets.

01:27:00.000 We would be laughing together.

01:27:01.000 Everybody's cracking jokes in the parking lot.

01:27:03.000 It was so much fun.

01:27:04.000 And it was that That's awesome.

01:27:12.000 As comic-friendly as possible, what have you ever wanted in a club that you didn't have?

01:27:16.000 Okay, let's get that.

01:27:17.000 How do you want to get to the stage?

01:27:20.000 What do you think we need to do?

01:27:21.000 And I asked everybody, and Louis C.K. gave me some of the best advice.

01:27:24.000 Louis told me to lower the ceilings.

01:27:26.000 I shortened the stage in the smaller room.

01:27:28.000 He told me to deaden the sound as much as possible.

01:27:32.000 Everybody wants that echo because it makes it sound like people are killing more.

01:27:35.000 You want clear sound.

01:27:36.000 He's dead right on everything.

01:27:38.000 Because he has a production mind.

01:27:40.000 He doesn't just have a mind of a comic.

01:27:41.000 He also has a mind of what's the best way to set things up for a film or set the environment.

01:27:49.000 You feel and notice all that stuff on stage.

01:27:52.000 I was performing recently Ceiling's Tall.

01:27:57.000 Crowd is full.

01:27:59.000 Yeah.

01:27:59.000 But where's the laughs going?

01:28:00.000 Am I killing?

01:28:01.000 I feel like I'm doing well, but I'm not hearing it.

01:28:03.000 Yeah.

01:28:04.000 Now I'm in my head a little bit, right?

01:28:06.000 That's changed my order.

01:28:07.000 Now I'm doing the bit that I know is going to kill instead of just letting things...

01:28:11.000 And it's like, all of that matters.

01:28:13.000 Yeah.

01:28:14.000 All of that matters.

01:28:14.000 High ceiling is a big thing.

01:28:16.000 It's a problem.

01:28:16.000 You want to be locked in.

01:28:17.000 I want everybody to be locked in.

01:28:19.000 The Comedy Store, the way you just described that, really became my clubhouse.

01:28:25.000 Yeah.

01:28:25.000 And I was a little bit...

01:28:27.000 I got past there when you were gone for a little while.

01:28:32.000 And I remember when you came back, it changed dramatically.

01:28:36.000 But LA was really, really tough for me initially upon moving there.

01:28:40.000 And then all of a sudden you get into a place like that.

01:28:42.000 There's a place to drink.

01:28:43.000 There's a place to talk shit.

01:28:44.000 There's a place to...

01:28:46.000 Oh my God.

01:28:46.000 Even just parking.

01:28:48.000 Right?

01:28:48.000 Park here and then just hang.

01:28:50.000 It changed the game.

01:28:52.000 It changed the game for me.

01:28:53.000 It changed the game for all of us.

01:28:56.000 The improv was always a great club to perform at.

01:28:59.000 I always performed there.

01:28:59.000 Laugh Factory's fun.

01:29:01.000 But there's something about the store that was home base.

01:29:04.000 And so the idea of doing something like that in Texas, Ron White was the first guy to open my eyes to it because...

01:29:11.000 Ron had moved here before the pandemic.

01:29:13.000 And Ron's like, it's in the middle of country.

01:29:15.000 I don't have to fucking fly for six hours.

01:29:17.000 It's like, the place is great.

01:29:19.000 Food's nice.

01:29:20.000 People are cool.

01:29:20.000 I'm like, fuck, can I live in Texas?

01:29:21.000 Because I always wanted to get out of LA. Yeah.

01:29:23.000 Because I felt like, especially when my kids were young, I was like, I've been through this with my older daughter.

01:29:27.000 I was like, I don't think LA's a good place for children.

01:29:30.000 I don't think it's a good place for young people.

01:29:31.000 I think it's just filled with too many, like...

01:29:35.000 Bizarre ambitions and creeps and it's just like people are devalued because there's so many of them.

01:29:41.000 It's too overwhelming.

01:29:44.000 So I'd always thought about getting out, and then the pandemic hit, and then Ron White was the one who talked me into opening up the club.

01:29:50.000 We were doing local shows at the Vulcan, and we had talked about maybe opening up a club, like maybe we should buy a club here, and then Ron White got off stage.

01:29:58.000 He hadn't been on stage in like seven or eight months, and he murdered.

01:30:02.000 He got a standing ovation when he got on stage, and it turned out he had...

01:30:05.000 He was playing it off.

01:30:06.000 He had practiced all day, gone over his notes, and he's just fucking professional.

01:30:09.000 Right.

01:30:09.000 Just murdered.

01:30:10.000 And then he grabs me by the shoulders.

01:30:11.000 He goes, whatever the fuck we have to do, we're gonna keep doing this.

01:30:15.000 You can open up that goddamn club. 0.99

01:30:16.000 I was like, okay.

01:30:17.000 Yeah.

01:30:17.000 Okay.

01:30:18.000 Okay.

01:30:19.000 Always a great hang.

01:30:20.000 Oh, he's the best.

01:30:20.000 I mean, at the comedy store, he didn't know me, and he would just hang and...

01:30:24.000 He's the best.

01:30:25.000 He's the elder statesman of the Austin comedy scene.

01:30:27.000 Okay, got it.

01:30:28.000 He's the best.

01:30:29.000 Yeah.

01:30:29.000 And he's such a good guy.

01:30:30.000 And he's always around.

01:30:31.000 And so, like, with Ron, it's like, so we had Ron, we had Tony Hinchcliffe, and then Tom Segura moved here, and Christina Pazitsky, and then the floodgates opened.

01:30:39.000 Tim Dillon, everybody started coming.

01:30:41.000 It's a tidal wave, dude.

01:30:42.000 And then Shane Gillis moved here, and he brought the whole Philly crew, and there's all these killers.

01:30:46.000 It's like...

01:30:47.000 Duncan moved here.

01:30:48.000 It just became so fun.

01:30:51.000 It became so fun.

01:30:52.000 And all these things had to happen for it to take place like that.

01:30:55.000 The comedy store had to lose guys like Adam.

01:30:58.000 They had fire everybody.

01:30:59.000 So these people were all unemployed.

01:31:00.000 So I hire them.

01:31:01.000 And I brought them over here.

01:31:03.000 It wasn't even a club yet.

01:31:04.000 I was like, I'll pay you now.

01:31:05.000 You can start getting paid now.

01:31:07.000 You'll have health benefits, all the jazz.

01:31:09.000 Just enjoy the city.

01:31:10.000 Just have a good time.

01:31:11.000 In a year or so, I'll call on you.

01:31:12.000 And so then we started working.

01:31:14.000 I mean, I've been texting Adam for a long time, and I was like, yes, something is happening, but we don't know when.

01:31:20.000 But not to come back and excited to walk through it.

01:31:24.000 Yeah, a lot of people dismissed it.

01:31:26.000 It's not going to happen.

01:31:27.000 But it was going to happen.

01:31:29.000 When you're an outsider looking at your plate, there's a lot on it.

01:31:33.000 Yeah, but this was important.

01:31:36.000 It was also...

01:31:37.000 If I'm not gonna do it, who's gonna do it?

01:31:39.000 You know, it's one of those things where if you have an opportunity to do something very unusual and you don't do it, well then, what, does nobody ever do anything unusual?

01:31:46.000 Yeah.

01:31:46.000 Just fucking do it.

01:31:47.000 Everyone just always either goes to New York or L.A. and that's it forever.

01:31:50.000 And it was also, we had so many people, like Brian Simpson, he moved out here early, Derek Post and Hassan Ahmad, they all moved out here early.

01:31:57.000 We had so many killers that were already here.

01:32:00.000 We were already doing sold-out shows at the Vulcan.

01:32:03.000 Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights.

01:32:05.000 Kill Tony was there on Mondays.

01:32:06.000 We were already doing weekend shows.

01:32:08.000 It was a no-brainer.

01:32:10.000 We knew we could do it.

01:32:11.000 That's sick.

01:32:12.000 But it was a little scary.

01:32:14.000 It's a little scary.

01:32:15.000 Dump a bunch of money, buy a building.

01:32:17.000 Oh, shit.

01:32:18.000 Renovate the whole thing for a year and a half.

01:32:20.000 The decisions alone?

01:32:22.000 It's a lot of decisions.

01:32:23.000 A lot of decisions.

01:32:24.000 Doorknobs, carpets, lights, ceiling, drywall.

01:32:28.000 We had a really good architect that helped, too.

01:32:29.000 Shout out to Richard, Richard Wise.

01:32:31.000 But at the end of the day, really what it was all about was a lot of great timing.

01:32:36.000 Great opportunity and great timing.

01:32:38.000 And then doing it the right way from the beginning.

01:32:40.000 Make it as comedy-friendly as possible.

01:32:43.000 And just make an environment where people like to be there.

01:32:47.000 Nice, friendly people.

01:32:49.000 Everybody's having fun.

01:32:50.000 Everybody's real supportive.

01:32:52.000 I love that.

01:32:53.000 Yeah, it's great.

01:32:54.000 In comics...

01:32:56.000 To their credit, I think naturally are nonconformist, and I love that they'll jump at a new opportunity.

01:33:02.000 They're not like all tied.

01:33:04.000 So, you know, yeah, Joe's opening a club?

01:33:07.000 We'll go.

01:33:08.000 Boom.

01:33:08.000 Done.

01:33:08.000 And people moved here.

01:33:09.000 It's like nuts to hear.

01:33:10.000 I can't believe how often...

01:33:11.000 I was texting with Adam.

01:33:13.000 He said, who do you want to be opening for you this weekend?

01:33:16.000 I said, send me some names.

01:33:17.000 Send me all the names.

01:33:18.000 I'm like, this feels like all comedy store names.

01:33:20.000 These are all in Austin?

01:33:23.000 Holtzman lives here now.

01:33:24.000 He's here all the time.

01:33:25.000 That's crazy.

01:33:26.000 He was fucking killing the other night.

01:33:28.000 Now, Holtzman has a crowd here now.

01:33:30.000 So, instead of Holtzman going up at 2 o'clock in the morning in the main room when there was no one there and the comics sit in the back of the room and laugh, now he's got sold-out shows and people come to see Holtzman.

01:33:42.000 And he's doing different material like every Nightmare.

01:33:44.000 That's great.

01:33:45.000 It's amazing.

01:33:46.000 He's got a crowd now.

01:33:48.000 And he can make money in town.

01:33:50.000 Right.

01:33:50.000 Which is huge.

01:33:51.000 He doesn't have to travel.

01:33:53.000 He doesn't have to do the road.

01:33:54.000 And he is doing the road a little bit too now.

01:33:56.000 Right.

01:33:56.000 Which is unique for Brian too.

01:33:57.000 It's really funny because he puts up these videos of people getting offended.

01:34:00.000 He does?

01:34:01.000 I haven't seen it.

01:34:02.000 Yeah.

01:34:02.000 On his Instagram it's people getting offended and screaming at him and walking out of his show.

01:34:06.000 Because they don't get it.

01:34:07.000 Yeah.

01:34:07.000 But once you see him a couple of times and you get what he's doing, then...

01:34:11.000 We have what we have in Austin now, where people, you know, when Holtzman's there, it sells out.

01:34:15.000 They're coming to see Holtzman.

01:34:16.000 It's fun.

01:34:17.000 There's nothing more beautiful than a person talking into a microphone causing a reaction to a group.

01:34:25.000 Yeah.

01:34:25.000 It's beautiful.

01:34:26.000 It's nuts.

01:34:27.000 It shows how powerful words and energy and communication can be.

01:34:32.000 It's like, you let that person make you that mad.

01:34:36.000 And this person didn't touch you or hit you?

01:34:39.000 Yeah.

01:34:40.000 That's wild.

01:34:41.000 Right.

01:34:41.000 That is wild to think that we have that ability.

01:34:45.000 Especially with Holtzman, because he lets you in on it every now and then, what he's doing, and then he comes back to it.

01:34:50.000 It's like he does this very beautiful dance of letting you in on it and then going right back to the fucking guy!

01:34:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:59.000 Well, it's fucking great.

01:35:00.000 I'm looking forward to performing there, so that's sweet.

01:35:02.000 You're gonna have a good time, man.

01:35:03.000 Did you bring people to open with you, or you got local people?

01:35:06.000 I think we got local.

01:35:07.000 I'm not 100% sure, but I didn't bring people with me, but...

01:35:10.000 We have a lot of good local people.

01:35:11.000 Well, that's the thing.

01:35:12.000 It's like, you could bring somebody, or you're in a community where there's great comedy.

01:35:15.000 Yeah.

01:35:16.000 So I'd much rather do that.

01:35:17.000 Yeah, and you'll have a great hang.

01:35:21.000 The green room is really great.

01:35:22.000 It's a great hang.

01:35:23.000 We have Mae West's couch in there that Peter Shore gave me. 0.97

01:35:28.000 It's Mitzi's.

01:35:29.000 She had it in her house, and so we had it reupholstered.

01:35:32.000 That's hilarious.

01:35:32.000 So in the green room, this beautiful pink couch, that's Mae West's couch.

01:35:36.000 Okay, amazing.

01:35:37.000 Yeah, so the bones of it are Mae West's couch. 0.99

01:35:39.000 That's great.

01:35:41.000 Yeah.

01:35:41.000 And so we have Rodney Dangerfield's handwritten notes on the wall from his last Tonight Show special.

01:35:46.000 So it's all the different bits that he wanted to hit and all the different things that he wanted to talk about.

01:35:51.000 And then Patrick Bet-David gave me one of Lenny Bruce's microphones.

01:35:55.000 Holy shit.

01:35:56.000 So we have Lenny Bruce's microphone framed on the wall above the monitors.

01:36:01.000 I feel like Lenny Bruce...

01:36:05.000 Not enough comics understand what...

01:36:09.000 The road he paved for everybody else.

01:36:12.000 It's known that he did that, but...

01:36:15.000 He's the OG. He was the OG. He's the OG. That's what I'm trying to say.

01:36:19.000 He was the first guy to go to jail.

01:36:21.000 He was going to jail.

01:36:22.000 He fucking arrested him.

01:36:23.000 A bunch of times.

01:36:24.000 That is insane.

01:36:25.000 For stuff that is nothing.

01:36:27.000 Today, it wouldn't even get you kicked off TikTok.

01:36:30.000 But we still had the First Amendment at that time, so that's what's so interesting to me.

01:36:33.000 Yeah.

01:36:34.000 The interpretation of, or the enforcement of...

01:36:37.000 That's wild.

01:36:38.000 Well, this is the role...

01:36:40.000 Same Constitution.

01:36:40.000 Yeah, same Constitution.

01:36:42.000 Well, this is the role that comedy plays in free speech, because we are really one of the only countries that has the kind of free speech that we have, the Declaration.

01:36:52.000 When we have the First Amendment, it talks very specifically, the very first one, about our ability to express ourselves, how important that is.

01:37:01.000 But if you're a comedian...

01:37:03.000 And you can't do that.

01:37:05.000 Like, if someone's deciding, well, that sets the boundaries for everything else.

01:37:09.000 If he didn't do that, if he wasn't doing that in the 50s and the 60s, and getting arrested, like, who knows where free speech would be today?

01:37:18.000 What was he arrested on?

01:37:20.000 Profanity.

01:37:21.000 You could be arrested on profanity?

01:37:23.000 Yeah, he was arrested on profanity charges.

01:37:26.000 Yeah, they had profanity laws back then, where in public places, you couldn't have...

01:37:32.000 And, you know, different places in different districts had different regulations, but I'm sure in San Francisco where he started, he probably could do whatever he wanted, and then, you know, as you travel and you start, and then he became more and more popular.

01:37:46.000 Obscenity.

01:37:47.000 Obscenity.

01:37:47.000 This reminds me of...

01:37:49.000 Profanity, obscenity.

01:37:51.000 So here it is.

01:37:54.000 So he was arrested at the jazz workshop in San Francisco, which is even crazier, in 1961, where he used the word cocksucker.

01:38:02.000 And said that to is a preposition, come is a verb.

01:38:06.000 That the sexual context of come was so common that it bore no weight, and that if someone hearing it became upset, he probably can't come.

01:38:14.000 Although the jury acquitted him, other law enforcement agencies began monitoring his appearances, resulting in frequent arrests under obscenity charges.

01:38:22.000 Yeah, but Joe, see there...

01:38:23.000 Although a jury acquitted him, I'm just wondering, like, was he actually breaking a law?

01:38:28.000 Or were they just hassling him by arresting him?

01:38:31.000 Because he can't...

01:38:32.000 Dude, they arrested him for saying schmuck.

01:38:35.000 Go back to that real quick.

01:38:36.000 But I'm saying, what do you charge somebody with?

01:38:40.000 Well, this was the obscenity charges.

01:38:42.000 Like, they said, if you go back to that Wikipedia page, look at that.

01:38:46.000 This is crazy.

01:38:47.000 He said...

01:38:49.000 Sherman Block later became the county sheriff.

01:38:51.000 The charge this time was that the community used the word schmuck, an insulting Yiddish word that was also considered a term for penis.

01:38:58.000 Oh my gosh.

01:38:59.000 The Hollywood charges were later dismissed.

01:39:01.000 Right.

01:39:01.000 So this was in Philadelphia and then Los Angeles and then West Hollywood.

01:39:06.000 In West Hollywood he was arrested.

01:39:08.000 Imagine, the place where the comedy store resides right now.

01:39:11.000 He was arrested just 10 years before Richard Pryor was performing live in the Sunset Strip.

01:39:16.000 I mean, what about the one in Philly is legit?

01:39:18.000 The gay drug possession. 1.00

01:39:21.000 Yeah, he did a lot of drugs.

01:39:23.000 I would do a lot of drugs if I got arrested every time I said schmuck. 0.95

01:39:26.000 So Live in the Sunset Strip I think was 81 or 82. Is that correct?

01:39:31.000 What year was Live in the Sunset Strip?

01:39:33.000 Because I was in high school.

01:39:34.000 I remember that.

01:39:36.000 66. I have that poster.

01:39:37.000 That Lenny Bruce poster.

01:39:39.000 There's a lot of Lenny Bruce love out there.

01:39:41.000 Yeah.

01:39:42.000 Which is so cool.

01:39:42.000 Yeah, I have a lot of Lenny Bruce stuff out there.

01:39:45.000 Like, he was the guy.

01:39:46.000 And it's hard when you listen to his stuff today because most of it, it's kind of trite.

01:39:51.000 Like, we've heard all the premises before.

01:39:54.000 It's because he broke the ground.

01:39:55.000 You have to remember, people were so innocent in 1961. The culture was so different that what he was saying was groundbreaking.

01:40:02.000 I fell into that trap.

01:40:03.000 You know, I was like, I'm not really digging it.

01:40:06.000 I'm not enjoying it.

01:40:07.000 But it's like, you have to really think about...

01:40:09.000 Where we were then.

01:40:10.000 Sure, if you listen to Shakespeare talk, you're probably like, this guy's a retard. 1.00

01:40:14.000 What the fuck are you saying?

01:40:15.000 What, thou dost not?

01:40:16.000 Like, shut up.

01:40:17.000 But it's like, in the context of 1961, what he was doing was, it was akin to a lot of things that were to come, like the anti-war movement, the civil rights movement, all these things were bubbling up about this freedom of exploring ideas and expressing yourself.

01:40:35.000 But in comedy, it had just been two Jews walking to a bar.

01:40:39.000 You know, it'd been jokes.

01:40:40.000 It was set up punchline.

01:40:41.000 The Italian says to the Polish guy.

01:40:42.000 It would have been a lot of that stuff.

01:40:44.000 And so he came along and was like, why do we have these words that are forbidden?

01:40:48.000 Why do we have this?

01:40:49.000 Why is that?

01:40:50.000 Why can't people be in love this way?

01:40:52.000 Why can't that happen?

01:40:54.000 And it was like, people were like, Jesus, why can't we?

01:40:57.000 And he changed the way people thought about life, not just about comedy.

01:41:02.000 And then I think Richard Pryor came along and made it way better.

01:41:05.000 Yeah, made it funnier.

01:41:06.000 But also what fascinates me...

01:41:12.000 Yeah.

01:41:16.000 Those words have not changed, but society has, or its interpretation has, or its enforcement has.

01:41:21.000 That's wild.

01:41:22.000 Yeah.

01:41:22.000 That's wild.

01:41:23.000 The enforcement is the thing, and then the concept of obscenity charges.

01:41:28.000 Obscenity charges are very subjective, right?

01:41:30.000 Who's to decide what's obscene?

01:41:32.000 To me, schmuck is not obscene.

01:41:33.000 It's kind of cute.

01:41:34.000 If someone calls you a schmuck, it's probably a friend of yours. 0.96

01:41:37.000 You know?

01:41:37.000 Hey, you fucking schmuck.

01:41:40.000 It's not a...

01:41:41.000 You get arrested for schmuck?

01:41:43.000 That's crazy.

01:41:44.000 What is this, Jamie?

01:41:46.000 This is where the obscenity law came from, a court case.

01:41:48.000 Well, this is 73, though.

01:41:50.000 I typed in where the obscenity law is in San Francisco.

01:41:52.000 No, I understand, but this is 73 because, you know, he was 61. So what does it say there?

01:41:57.000 The ruling?

01:41:58.000 Scroll up at the top a little bit.

01:41:59.000 It says a landmark decision of the U.S. Supreme Court clarifying the legal definition of obscenity as material that lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.

01:42:08.000 The ruling was the origin of three-part judicial tests for determining obscene media content that could be banned by government authorities, which is now known as the Miller Test.

01:42:18.000 So here's the thing to think about this.

01:42:19.000 The Miller Test is actually quite relevant right now.

01:42:21.000 It's coming up a lot.

01:42:22.000 Oh, is it?

01:42:22.000 The Miller Test, yes.

01:42:23.000 For what?

01:42:25.000 First Amendment stuff.

01:42:26.000 I just heard something about it.

01:42:27.000 That's interesting.

01:42:28.000 Yeah, it is interesting because the thing about this is this is probably all in response to all the anti-war activists and all of the whole hippie, freedom of speech, flower child movement.

01:42:42.000 I did a piece for The Daily Show after Biden won and this woman in New Jersey had up 10-15 flags. 0.57

01:42:54.000 Fuck Biden. 1.00

01:42:55.000 Fuck Joe Biden.

01:42:56.000 Fuck Joe Biden flags.

01:42:57.000 Was on a path to a school.

01:43:01.000 And a lot of parents said, take down the flag.

01:43:05.000 She said, it's my First Amendment right.

01:43:07.000 Got all messy.

01:43:09.000 The city made her take it down.

01:43:11.000 She refused.

01:43:12.000 NAACP popped in to defend her, saying it was her right as a... 0.99

01:43:18.000 Biden was a political figure, but then it became an obscenity.

01:43:20.000 It was a very interesting piece.

01:43:23.000 And I spoke to her, and she was very outspoken, and my whole take was like, hey, just maybe let's say legally you can put those flags up, but it's just kind of shitty, right?

01:43:32.000 And she was like, fuck you, I'm gonna put my flags up.

01:43:35.000 But interesting when obscenity mixes in with school, kid.

01:43:40.000 What is that now?

01:43:42.000 Right.

01:43:43.000 Public figure.

01:43:44.000 Public figure.

01:43:44.000 If it says fuck Tony, fuck Michael, that's different than fuck Joe Biden, the sitting president of the United States.

01:43:51.000 Right.

01:43:51.000 All fascinating.

01:43:52.000 Yeah, it's also, it's like, you know, what do you want to see in your neighborhood?

01:43:56.000 I don't like people putting those fucking stupid signs on their lawns.

01:44:01.000 My parents...

01:44:02.000 We were diehard liberals.

01:44:04.000 They were living in Florida at the time, and this is during 2016, and my mom was complaining, every time I put my Hillary Clinton sign, someone takes it down.

01:44:13.000 I'm like, you're in Florida!

01:44:15.000 Like, why are you putting Hillary Clinton signs on your lawn?

01:44:18.000 But to my mom, it might as well be like she was supporting the Miami Dolphins.

01:44:22.000 You know, that was her team.

01:44:23.000 Her team was the Democrats.

01:44:25.000 Well, I was just going to say, I don't like when a kid is wearing a Dolphins hat, or a Yankees hat, because I'm like, We, as adults, have put that on the kid.

01:44:34.000 Well, maybe the kid is just a fan of the sport, though.

01:44:37.000 It's possible, but Dad probably made him do it.

01:44:40.000 Maybe.

01:44:40.000 Maybe the kid just likes us.

01:44:41.000 That doesn't bother me at all.

01:44:43.000 There's nothing wrong with supporting teams.

01:44:44.000 But there's a real problem when it's how the whole country's run, and you're thinking about it like a team.

01:44:50.000 That's kind of ridiculous.

01:44:52.000 And people that put those fucking signs in their lawn, like, settle down. 0.55

01:44:56.000 Just, why?

01:44:57.000 Why?

01:44:58.000 Why are you doing it?

01:44:58.000 It's just like you're like...

01:45:00.000 Right in the yard.

01:45:04.000 Right in the front of your house.

01:45:05.000 Where's your point?

01:45:06.000 Like those people that are like, science is settled.

01:45:09.000 Love is love.

01:45:10.000 Black lives matter.

01:45:12.000 Okay.

01:45:13.000 Who was the Supreme Court justice with the flags?

01:45:16.000 Got in the whole fucking neighborhood fight with the flags?

01:45:18.000 Had the white flag with the...

01:45:23.000 Green pine tree on it.

01:45:24.000 What is that flag?

01:45:25.000 It was Christian nationalism or had ties to it, whatever.

01:45:28.000 But I'm saying...

01:45:29.000 A white flag with a green pine tree is Christian nationalism?

01:45:32.000 Wasn't it?

01:45:33.000 I don't know.

01:45:33.000 I don't know about this.

01:45:34.000 Do you know what I'm talking about this?

01:45:34.000 No.

01:45:35.000 What was this?

01:45:35.000 Do you remember it, Jimmy?

01:45:36.000 I'm looking it up.

01:45:37.000 It's Jim Alito, I think.

01:45:38.000 Samuel Alito.

01:45:39.000 It was...

01:45:40.000 I thought it was maybe Robert...

01:45:43.000 But his wife... 1.00

01:45:44.000 And then he's...

01:45:45.000 There it is.

01:45:47.000 An appeal to heaven.

01:45:48.000 So that flag was flying.

01:45:50.000 You can see there the Boston Globe.

01:45:52.000 That's his New Jersey...

01:45:54.000 The one right underneath that, Jamie.

01:45:56.000 That's his New Jersey house.

01:45:58.000 Beach house.

01:45:59.000 And that got put up.

01:46:00.000 But this was all because neighbors started fighting about their signs.

01:46:03.000 What is that an appeal to heaven?

01:46:04.000 What does that mean?

01:46:05.000 I don't know.

01:46:07.000 What's that flag supposed to represent, Jamie?

01:46:10.000 Huh.

01:46:14.000 But interesting that our Supreme Court justice got involved in one of these sign fights.

01:46:20.000 And then they called him out on it and he said, it's my wife.

01:46:25.000 It's just fucking hilarious, right?

01:46:26.000 My wife did it. 1.00

01:46:28.000 My wife's a Christian nationalist.

01:46:29.000 Is that a Christian nationalist thing?

01:46:31.000 What?

01:46:32.000 A call to heaven?

01:46:33.000 I don't know.

01:46:35.000 We'll find out.

01:46:36.000 I've never even heard of it until just now.

01:46:38.000 They took it down from in front of San Francisco City Hall.

01:46:40.000 Oh, really?

01:46:42.000 Well, what does it mean?

01:46:43.000 It has to do with the colonies, it said.

01:46:45.000 What?

01:46:46.000 Revolutionary War.

01:46:48.000 Okay, the flag was originally used during the American Revolutionary War, flown by George Washington's cruisers, and is associated with the early quest for American independence.

01:46:56.000 It's since been adopted by a different group, one that doesn't represent the city's values, so we made the decision to swap it with an American flag.

01:47:03.000 Well, first of all, you probably should have the American flag there anyway.

01:47:06.000 You shouldn't have to swap it.

01:47:08.000 How about have the American flag everywhere, you motherfuckers? 0.98

01:47:11.000 America!

01:47:13.000 January 6, 2022, videos and photos show that some supporters of former President Donald Trump waving the Appeal to Heaven flag.

01:47:20.000 Oh, they ruined it.

01:47:21.000 Just like the Nazis ruined the swastika. 0.72

01:47:24.000 The swastika, which was a Buddhist thing.

01:47:26.000 Where is it?

01:47:27.000 Oh yeah, an Appeal to Heaven.

01:47:28.000 So it's because it's Trump supporters now?

01:47:31.000 Is that why?

01:47:33.000 That's why?

01:47:34.000 I don't know why Alito put it up, but I remember it being...

01:47:39.000 Something to do with, like, the homeowners associations all were mad at each other and they put the flag up.

01:47:43.000 He threw his wife right under the bus. 1.00

01:47:45.000 Look at this.

01:47:45.000 My wife is fond of flying flags.

01:47:47.000 I am not.

01:47:49.000 Alito wrote, my wife was solely responsible for having flagpoles put up at our residence and our vacation home and has flown a wide variety of flags over the air.

01:47:57.000 How many Palestine flags do you fly?

01:47:59.000 Wide variety?

01:48:00.000 Got a lot of Ukraine flags flying in your house?

01:48:03.000 What kind of flags you got?

01:48:04.000 It just makes me laugh that, look, this is the petty shit that, like, Normal Americans get in.

01:48:10.000 Supreme Court justice, just get out of it. 0.98

01:48:12.000 Yeah, I don't know about that flag.

01:48:14.000 This is the first time I've ever seen that.

01:48:16.000 But it's just a thing that people do.

01:48:18.000 They want to let you know what they support and what they don't.

01:48:21.000 Yeah.

01:48:22.000 We love telling people what we believe.

01:48:25.000 And it's very important that we feel like we have beliefs.

01:48:30.000 And it's when we start sharing them that...

01:48:34.000 Well, you find out other people don't agree.

01:48:36.000 You find out other people might not agree with you.

01:48:38.000 And this gets back to grit and toughness.

01:48:41.000 Well, this also gets back to the importance of your show, The Daily Show.

01:48:45.000 Because The Daily Show, especially under the tutelage of Jon Stewart when he's running the helm, it's so balanced at pointing out ridiculous shit all over the place.

01:48:54.000 Which I think is so important.

01:48:56.000 That's the goal.

01:48:57.000 That's the aim.

01:48:58.000 So smart.

01:48:59.000 And when we do it right, I love it.

01:49:02.000 You know, it is every day.

01:49:04.000 So sometimes you do it right, and you're thankful, you pat yourself on the back, but guess what?

01:49:09.000 There's a show tomorrow.

01:49:10.000 And I think we benefit, man, so many, I'll take, when I host, so many questions, I'll take questions from the audience, and so many people go like, Michael, how do you hold yourself to journalistic integrity when you, and I go, what?

01:49:25.000 I'm a fucking comedian.

01:49:26.000 This is on Comedy Central.

01:49:28.000 I'm not a journalist.

01:49:31.000 Just because you see us as informative, which I'm thankful for, and the fact that you come to us for information, which I'm thankful for.

01:49:38.000 It's a little terrifying, though, right?

01:49:39.000 Don't ever forget, lady, I'm not a journalist.

01:49:42.000 I'm not in the war zone.

01:49:44.000 I'm a clown.

01:49:46.000 My job is to put all this shit into a comedy machine and crank out some type of sausage and feed it to you.

01:49:51.000 But it's nuts that...

01:49:54.000 Comedy Central, Daily Show, is considered journalism.

01:49:58.000 Yeah, or people will stop me on the subway and go, like, thank you for what you're doing.

01:50:01.000 And I'm going, I'm trying to just make you laugh.

01:50:04.000 Is that what you mean?

01:50:05.000 It's not what they mean, though.

01:50:06.000 They mean, like...

01:50:07.000 Fighting the good fight.

01:50:08.000 Fighting the fight.

01:50:09.000 Decompressing the...

01:50:09.000 Fascists.

01:50:10.000 Right.

01:50:11.000 And also, comedy, as we've talked about, is one of the only places that can challenge and speak.

01:50:18.000 To power, truthfully.

01:50:19.000 Yeah, and comedy also can make you consider something.

01:50:23.000 So, like, if you have an opinion and you go out there and state your opinion eloquently, I could be there.

01:50:28.000 Well, I disagree.

01:50:29.000 I have a different opinion.

01:50:30.000 But if you go out there with that opinion, you make me laugh with something I don't even necessarily agree with.

01:50:37.000 That's the best.

01:50:38.000 And then you go, oh, he's got a fucking point.

01:50:41.000 He's got a fucking point.

01:50:43.000 That is the magic trick.

01:50:44.000 That's the magic trick of comedy.

01:50:46.000 And The Daily Show does that great.

01:50:48.000 But I remember one time sitting with my wife at the comedy store.

01:50:51.000 Tiger Woods had just like, you know, all of that shit came out.

01:50:54.000 The cheating, the voicemails.

01:50:56.000 I mean, he was like, you know, maybe arguably one of the more promiscuous husbands of all time.

01:51:03.000 And Burr goes up and he starts defending Tiger.

01:51:06.000 Right?

01:51:07.000 And I'm watching, I'm feeling my wife's energy.

01:51:10.000 Like, I'm like, Bill, don't do this, dude.

01:51:12.000 You're defending this guy who is in the heat of all the hatred.

01:51:18.000 And as I watch the joke, I feel her relax.

01:51:22.000 Now at the end, she's laughing.

01:51:24.000 And I'm like, you just did the fucking magic trick, dude.

01:51:27.000 Yes.

01:51:27.000 You did the trick.

01:51:28.000 He's one of the best at it.

01:51:29.000 You took the level of difficulty at its highest.

01:51:32.000 Yeah.

01:51:33.000 All of us were against you.

01:51:35.000 You did it.

01:51:35.000 And that's the shit.

01:51:37.000 That's as close to magic as there is, man.

01:51:39.000 Yeah.

01:51:39.000 Well, it's a beautiful thing if you could turn a controversial subject into something hilarious.

01:51:44.000 Yeah.

01:51:45.000 It at least puts people's guard down for a second.

01:51:47.000 Yeah.

01:51:48.000 I think they'll see through it if they feel like it's just, you're truly trying to trick them into a message.

01:51:52.000 If your real goal is to entertain and laugh, that, yeah, that's, you know, I heard, I was researching sauna stuff a lot, because I was building this sauna last summer, and I read that in Finnish culture, a lot of the politicians won't even start negotiating or talking until they're like fucking scorched in the sauna.

01:52:14.000 And I thought that was really interesting, because comedy, I don't know how truthful it is, but I know there is a lot of pictures of...

01:52:21.000 It's a good move.

01:52:23.000 You all suffer together, and then you come back to being a human.

01:52:26.000 Comedy kind of does that, too.

01:52:27.000 It's like, if we're all laughing...

01:52:29.000 We at least have that in common.

01:52:30.000 If we're all sweating and having a hard time with this moment, I love that.

01:52:36.000 It's a human moment.

01:52:37.000 It's a human moment.

01:52:38.000 I mean, you're literally dying.

01:52:39.000 You're dying in there.

01:52:40.000 You can't stay there forever.

01:52:42.000 You've got about 20 minutes, and then you've got to get the fuck out, and you're like, whoa.

01:52:46.000 And now you can all be human together.

01:52:48.000 That's a good move.

01:52:50.000 It's something really nuts.

01:52:51.000 To me about the dry heat of a sauna that I don't understand completely, but it really fixes a lot of shit in me.

01:52:58.000 You know another good thing about having the politicians go in the sauna? 0.53

01:53:01.000 What?

01:53:01.000 We can kill off a lot of the old ones.

01:53:04.000 Mitch McConnell ain't gonna make it.

01:53:05.000 There's no fucking way.

01:53:07.000 There used to be a World Sauna Championships, and then a guy died.

01:53:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:53:11.000 Well, they kept pouring water on it.

01:53:14.000 On the rocks?

01:53:15.000 They were pouring a liter of water on every...

01:53:18.000 I don't know.

01:53:18.000 But I heard that.

01:53:20.000 I was like, oh my god.

01:53:21.000 And it was like 200 plus degrees.

01:53:23.000 What's your sauna?

01:53:27.000 How would you advise me to get the most out of my sauna?

01:53:32.000 20 minutes?

01:53:34.000 Yeah, 20 minutes is good.

01:53:35.000 Cool off and come back in?

01:53:36.000 You can if you like.

01:53:37.000 I don't necessarily do that all the time.

01:53:39.000 I'll do like one day a week.

01:53:41.000 I go cold plunge sauna, cold plunge sauna.

01:53:43.000 I'll go back and forth.

01:53:44.000 Usually I start with sauna.

01:53:46.000 I always end with cold plunge.

01:53:47.000 If I do three cycles, whatever it is, you end with cold plunge.

01:53:49.000 Because you want your body to fight to warm it back up.

01:53:52.000 So you're just shocking the shit out of your system.

01:53:55.000 But the Finnish studies that have showed...

01:53:59.000 The more people do it, the more effective it is in terms of what they studied was they found that when people over the course of 20 years use the sauna four times a week, they had a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality.

01:54:11.000 Crazy.

01:54:12.000 Everything.

01:54:12.000 Strokes, cancer, heart attack, everything.

01:54:14.000 Because your body is becoming far more resilient and you're also developing all these heat shock proteins and eliminating inflammation, clearing out your system, and then you're rehydrating afterwards.

01:54:25.000 Very, very good for you.

01:54:26.000 And you're also not on the phone.

01:54:27.000 Yes, you're also not on the phone, although I do have a Bluetooth speaker in there.

01:54:31.000 You can get some Bluetooth speakers.

01:54:33.000 I got one called Not A Brick.

01:54:34.000 It's a really good one.

01:54:35.000 You can take the heat of a sauna.

01:54:37.000 So I listen to books on tape when I'm stretching, sweating my brains out.

01:54:42.000 I was in my sauna all by myself, and it's very quiet.

01:54:46.000 I'm in the woods in Pennsylvania, and this fucking buck just walks right in front.

01:54:51.000 And it was just me and him.

01:54:54.000 I don't know if you saw her or smelt or whatever, but it was like...

01:54:57.000 Crazy.

01:54:58.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:54:59.000 You know what?

01:54:59.000 That's like...

01:55:02.000 What's it called?

01:55:02.000 I'm not a hunter.

01:55:03.000 What's it called when you just kind of go to watch and see where they're going to be?

01:55:07.000 Is that called something?

01:55:08.000 Yeah, observation.

01:55:09.000 Yeah, sure.

01:55:09.000 Nature.

01:55:10.000 It was like, yeah, just opening your eyes.

01:55:12.000 But that's, it was wild to see that.

01:55:14.000 Yeah, it's cool, isn't it?

01:55:15.000 Very cool.

01:55:15.000 Very, very cool.

01:55:16.000 Wildlife is wild.

01:55:17.000 And especially if you don't expect it.

01:55:18.000 Like you're sitting in the sauna and the deer's right there.

01:55:20.000 What's going on here?

01:55:21.000 About the government doing it there.

01:55:23.000 They apparently drink alcohol in the sauna.

01:55:26.000 It's not a good idea.

01:55:28.000 They get drunk before they go in.

01:55:31.000 I like that too.

01:55:32.000 I love a drink in there.

01:55:33.000 A long drink, iconic Finnish gin mixed drink that's basically a Tom Collins in a can, but way better because it's being sipped in a sauna with newfound sauna friends.

01:55:42.000 That's cool.

01:55:43.000 That is cool.

01:55:43.000 That's a great move.

01:55:44.000 Yeah, like something that makes you more human.

01:55:46.000 You suffer together.

01:55:47.000 Yeah, you're focusing on a thing that isn't this result that we need or want.

01:55:52.000 Yeah, this shit will probably take all the congresspeople and make them run a tough mudder together. 1.00

01:55:57.000 You know, go through the mud, fucking climb ropes and shit, go over obstacle courses.

01:56:01.000 That'd be great.

01:56:02.000 I've actually found...

01:56:03.000 My wife and I, when we do a sauna, you know, there's always stuff you got to talk about with the family, logistics, there's always things to argue about, but we'll go in there and we both start sweating and then it's kind of just like eases the tone, eases the conversation.

01:56:15.000 Yeah.

01:56:16.000 Which is helpful.

01:56:17.000 Yeah, no one's real loud in the sauna.

01:56:19.000 Yeah, and you just chill.

01:56:21.000 We're both suffering together.

01:56:22.000 Yeah, just suffering.

01:56:23.000 Yeah.

01:56:23.000 That's interesting.

01:56:25.000 Yeah, I think it should be a part of everybody's life.

01:56:28.000 And there's, by the way, if you can't afford it, they make a sauna blanket.

01:56:32.000 That is one of our sponsors.

01:56:33.000 It's really good.

01:56:34.000 I've used that thing before.

01:56:35.000 It's great.

01:56:36.000 You just climb inside this fucking blanket and you can bring it on the road with you.

01:56:39.000 And you sweat it off.

01:56:40.000 It doesn't weigh that much.

01:56:41.000 You carry it and it'll heat you the fuck up and it'll give you the heat shock proteins.

01:56:45.000 I like a dry sauna better.

01:56:47.000 I like being in a sauna.

01:56:48.000 But if you want to travel or if you don't have the resources or a place for it, those things are great.

01:56:54.000 Hot baths are great too.

01:56:56.000 Hot baths after a workout are supposed to increase muscle.

01:56:59.000 It's tough to find sauna, though, in a lot of American cities.

01:57:04.000 When I go on the road, I'm always trying to find...

01:57:08.000 Cold tubs are more frequent now.

01:57:10.000 Really?

01:57:10.000 They're more frequent now.

01:57:13.000 You know the way to do the cold plunge is you do it before you work out.

01:57:17.000 That's the real move.

01:57:18.000 Oh, no shit.

01:57:18.000 Yeah, that really increases testosterone, too.

01:57:20.000 And also, it increases your work output, because your muscles are pre-chilled.

01:57:24.000 I would think it would be...

01:57:26.000 Easy to get injured.

01:57:27.000 No, you just warm up.

01:57:28.000 You just warm up.

01:57:29.000 You warm up.

01:57:29.000 So I go through a series of things that I do that are like pretty low intensity.

01:57:35.000 I do 20 kettlebell swings, and then I do 20 push-ups, then I do 20 bodyweight squats, and I do a cycle of five.

01:57:42.000 So I do 100 swings, 100 push-ups, 100 bodyweight squats.

01:57:46.000 And by the time of that, that's like probably 15 minutes.

01:57:49.000 By the time that's over, I'm sweaty, I'm ready to go.

01:57:52.000 And then I go into everything else.

01:57:53.000 Dude, I want to show you this picture.

01:57:55.000 I know that, you know, This lake house I have.

01:57:59.000 Nice.

01:58:01.000 New Year's Eve.

01:58:03.000 I don't want to kill our time with this, but when do you get to show Joe Rogan this pic?

01:58:07.000 So let me find it.

01:58:10.000 This is New Year's Eve, dude.

01:58:12.000 Cut a hole in the lake with an axe.

01:58:15.000 And I'm just in the lake.

01:58:18.000 Try to do three minutes.

01:58:19.000 There's a safety rope, which I don't know if that could even help me if I fucking pass out.

01:58:23.000 That's nice.

01:58:25.000 Doing a cold plunge in nature.

01:58:28.000 Yeah.

01:58:28.000 Not just a tub.

01:58:29.000 Love the tub, too.

01:58:30.000 But man, I fucking love it.

01:58:31.000 I was in...

01:58:32.000 I feel amazing after that.

01:58:34.000 Utah.

01:58:34.000 And they had a creek running through a glacial creek.

01:58:39.000 Freezing cold.

01:58:40.000 Yeah.

01:58:40.000 I climbed in that bitch in my underwear and got up to my neck.

01:58:43.000 That's good stuff.

01:58:44.000 It's nice.

01:58:45.000 It's like something about doing it in nature, too.

01:58:47.000 It's like you're even more connected to everything.

01:58:48.000 Oh, totally.

01:58:49.000 Yeah.

01:58:50.000 Yeah, very cool.

01:58:51.000 Just get in that cold water and breathe.

01:58:53.000 I get like a weird...

01:58:55.000 A weird high after, for sure.

01:58:57.000 Oh, for sure.

01:58:57.000 It lasts for hours.

01:58:58.000 It increases your dopamine by 200%.

01:59:01.000 And it lasts for hours.

01:59:02.000 So why is it that healthier than doing a drug that increases your dopamine?

01:59:07.000 Well, because it's natural.

01:59:08.000 Natural.

01:59:09.000 Yeah, it's natural.

01:59:10.000 Also, it gives you something...

01:59:13.000 In terms of mental resilience, it gives you like an exercise.

01:59:16.000 That exercise is very difficult, especially for the first minute.

01:59:20.000 It's hard.

01:59:21.000 First minute, your body's like, let's get the fuck out of here.

01:59:24.000 And it keeps talking to you and you're like, shut up, bitch. 1.00

01:59:26.000 And then after a minute, that calms down and you can breathe clean.

01:59:30.000 You start getting those rhythmic breaths in and out and just keep your shit together for three minutes.

01:59:35.000 And then when you get out, you're like, ah.

01:59:38.000 That's what you do typically three minutes?

01:59:39.000 So it's like, one, there's the feeling like, I did it.

01:59:42.000 Which feels great.

01:59:44.000 Like, I didn't bitch out. 0.90

01:59:45.000 I actually did the three minutes.

01:59:46.000 But then there's, like, this euphoric feeling as your body just, your norepinephrine, your dopamine, everything elevates.

01:59:53.000 You just feel wonderful.

01:59:54.000 Patience, too.

01:59:54.000 My patience is killer.

01:59:56.000 Yeah!

01:59:56.000 Kids, I'm smiling more.

01:59:58.000 Oh, that's fine.

01:59:59.000 You can draw on the wall.

02:00:00.000 Yeah, whatever.

02:00:00.000 It's like that part of your brain got exhausted.

02:00:04.000 The part of your brain that's dealing with, like, real adversity.

02:00:06.000 So, like, little kids' adversity is nothing.

02:00:08.000 It's not.

02:00:08.000 You're not freezing to death.

02:00:09.000 They're just like, that's my crayon!

02:00:12.000 Come on, guys.

02:00:13.000 Let's get along.

02:00:15.000 It's been a super benefit to me.

02:00:17.000 The problem living in New York is I don't get to cold plunge as much as I... Want to, but...

02:00:22.000 Well, they have stuff that you could do, like, you know, you could do it in your tub if you can get ice.

02:00:26.000 Ice, do the ice thing. 0.99

02:00:27.000 And they also have these coolers that you can plug in, and you could do, like, if you have, like, one of those big Yeti coolers, you can climb in that, and you'll put a hose in there and a cooler, and it'll bring that down to, like, 40 degrees.

02:00:41.000 And you can just get in, like, a Yeti cooler.

02:00:44.000 Yep.

02:00:44.000 Yeah, I bet you could do it in a bathtub, too.

02:00:47.000 I bet they figured out how to attach an engine to that.

02:00:50.000 Do they have one?

02:00:50.000 Yeah, they do have one.

02:00:52.000 Jamie knows it.

02:00:53.000 So how does it work?

02:00:54.000 I'll show you, but there's just like a little motor thing you attach.

02:00:57.000 So that's perfect.

02:00:58.000 Like, if you just have a bathtub, you're golden.

02:01:00.000 You can actually do that.

02:01:00.000 You know, if you live in an apartment that has a tub, you have a cold plunge now.

02:01:04.000 Or if you don't have that, get yourself a Yeti cooler.

02:01:07.000 Yeti makes some giant-ass coolers, like from people who hunt caribou and shit. 0.85

02:01:11.000 I just typed in bathtub cold plungers.

02:01:12.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:01:13.000 So you just have this thing, it plugs in, it cools everything off, and you climb it.

02:01:19.000 How cold does that motherfucker get?

02:01:21.000 39 degrees.

02:01:23.000 Perfect.

02:01:23.000 It's crazy that now...

02:01:24.000 Never buy ice again.

02:01:25.000 Two-year warranty.

02:01:26.000 We're such comfort zones as humans now that we have to pay $800 to cool our water to get into it.

02:01:32.000 Yeah, it's a bit of an issue.

02:01:34.000 Yeah.

02:01:34.000 Yeah, we're pussies.

02:01:35.000 We're pussies now.

02:01:36.000 We've made life very easy, which is wonderful.

02:01:38.000 It's better than being hard.

02:01:39.000 I don't want to live in the fucking gladiator days.

02:01:41.000 That's what the point was, was to make it easy.

02:01:43.000 To have food and sugar and fat readily available at all times.

02:01:46.000 You don't have to carry a sword with you everywhere.

02:01:49.000 Dude, I love going to the Natural History Museum in New York and going to the armor.

02:01:55.000 Jesus Christ.

02:01:57.000 It's like what these motherfuckers had to wear and use and carry. 1.00

02:02:01.000 Did you ever see that?

02:02:02.000 To defend themselves is nuts.

02:02:04.000 From, I think it's Waterloo.

02:02:06.000 One of the battles, one of the French soldiers got hit with a cannonball in the chest.

02:02:13.000 And they have the armor that has the hole in the chest, like in the cannonball out the back, exploding outward.

02:02:20.000 Look at that.

02:02:21.000 Look at that.

02:02:24.000 Yeah, that's from the Battle of Waterloo.

02:02:26.000 That guy got hit with a cannonball in the chest.

02:02:28.000 And I bet you his armor salesman was like, I'm going to upsell this guy.

02:02:31.000 And he's like, no, I don't want the upsell.

02:02:33.000 And he should have.

02:02:34.000 Monsieur, I'm telling you, this armor, no cannonball.

02:02:38.000 That is a great reminder of what society and life used to be like.

02:02:44.000 God damn, man.

02:02:45.000 Look at that one on the other one, Jamie.

02:02:48.000 No, but the one to the left where you see the exit.

02:02:51.000 Right to the left of that.

02:02:52.000 Yeah, right there.

02:02:53.000 You see the exit hole.

02:02:54.000 Jesus Christ.

02:02:55.000 Boom.

02:02:56.000 Blew right through this guy's body, his armor, his chest, out the back.

02:03:00.000 That's crazy.

02:03:01.000 The size of a fucking softball.

02:03:06.000 That's fucked up.

02:03:07.000 Yeah, it's pretty fucked up.

02:03:08.000 That's super fucked up.

02:03:09.000 That was life back then.

02:03:10.000 It's better.

02:03:10.000 And that's a guy that could have had armor.

02:03:12.000 That's probably a high-ranking person.

02:03:15.000 Yeah, right.

02:03:16.000 He got hit.

02:03:18.000 That's a wrap, son.

02:03:19.000 But you gotta think that...

02:03:21.000 Those people would have much rather lived today with all this comfort.

02:03:25.000 Oh my god.

02:03:26.000 The problem is you just can't rely on it too much.

02:03:29.000 You can't live for comfort.

02:03:30.000 That's stupid.

02:03:31.000 You gotta have voluntary discomfort.

02:03:35.000 That'll help you get through this life.

02:03:37.000 That's a good way to put it that those people would pick today for sure.

02:03:42.000 Fuck, yeah.

02:03:43.000 I remember I went to the Museum of Medical Oddities in Philadelphia.

02:03:51.000 And they were doing a whole thing on dysentery.

02:03:55.000 And it was like, oh, most people in the Civil War died of that.

02:04:00.000 They didn't die of wounds.

02:04:02.000 And it was like wild that...

02:04:05.000 Of course.

02:04:06.000 If you were a soldier today, you don't die of dysentery.

02:04:08.000 That's insane.

02:04:09.000 But they would put the kitchen near the toilet and it was like...

02:04:13.000 And what kind of water are you drinking?

02:04:16.000 Water and all that shit.

02:04:17.000 There's no iodine tablets back then.

02:04:19.000 Yeah.

02:04:20.000 No SteriPens to clean your water.

02:04:23.000 What's the one I used?

02:04:24.000 I did the Appalachian Trail last year.

02:04:26.000 Not all of it.

02:04:26.000 Did you really?

02:04:26.000 Just a few days.

02:04:28.000 And I forget the thing I would filter the water with.

02:04:31.000 It was great.

02:04:32.000 Man, there's such cool stuff like that now.

02:04:33.000 Oh yeah, there's great stuff.

02:04:34.000 I mean, millions of those things.

02:04:35.000 Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that'll filter water and make it drinkable.

02:04:38.000 And there's all these cool Appalachian Trail communities that leave stuff for people along the trail.

02:04:45.000 Oh, that's cool.

02:04:46.000 I remember I was just dying.

02:04:47.000 I'm like, no more snacks.

02:04:50.000 Blood sugar's dropping, I have water, but it's just like, I'm in it, I'm doing the difficult thing, and then you get to this cooler, and it's like, from this Appalachian Trail Club, and it's just like gummy bears in there.

02:04:58.000 Oh, nice.

02:04:58.000 Jesus Christ, man.

02:05:00.000 Nice.

02:05:02.000 That's cool.

02:05:02.000 That's cool that they have that set up.

02:05:04.000 Yeah.

02:05:04.000 But it's a weird thing to choose to do, to go for a long walk.

02:05:08.000 That doesn't appeal to it?

02:05:09.000 I mean, there are some famous murders that have happened on the Appalachian Trail, but I felt very safe.

02:05:18.000 Did you?

02:05:18.000 Yeah, I mean, I love the idea.

02:05:20.000 I was alone.

02:05:21.000 I love the idea of finding a place to sleep that's in the middle of nowhere.

02:05:24.000 I love that shit.

02:05:25.000 Dude, I'd be super nervous.

02:05:28.000 Something about the woods.

02:05:29.000 Really?

02:05:29.000 The woods are dangerous at night.

02:05:30.000 Here's what's crazy about the Appalachian Trail, at least where I was in Jersey.

02:05:34.000 Most of the time I had cell service.

02:05:36.000 Oh, wow.

02:05:37.000 So I'm like in my tent answering texts.

02:05:42.000 That is kind of crazy.

02:05:43.000 You know what started that for me was...

02:05:47.000 During COVID, my wife got me this week with Jordan Jonas in the survival.

02:05:55.000 Jordan Jonas won alone.

02:05:57.000 He's been on the podcast.

02:05:57.000 Yeah, he's been on the podcast.

02:05:58.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:05:59.000 Won lost.

02:06:00.000 Shot a moose with a bow and arrow.

02:06:02.000 I think he killed a wolverine with a hatchet.

02:06:04.000 Yeah, with a hatchet.

02:06:05.000 Stealing his meat.

02:06:06.000 So my wife bought me a week.

02:06:09.000 With the survival camp with him and a bunch of other people.

02:06:12.000 And it was just like, one of the things, one of the conclusions I and we came to while we were up in the Bitterroot Mountains of Idaho was at least once a year.

02:06:22.000 We all need to be doing something where we are embedded with nature.

02:06:26.000 And this might sound silly to somebody who goes hunting or somebody who's already doing this, but if you're living a city life, going to the park is not really experiencing nature.

02:06:35.000 Well, it is a little.

02:06:36.000 Tiny bit.

02:06:37.000 It's nature.

02:06:38.000 I mean, it's contained nature, but it's real nature.

02:06:40.000 You see squirrels and birds.

02:06:42.000 It's good for you.

02:06:42.000 It's good for you to sit under a tree.

02:06:44.000 There's ticks.

02:06:45.000 There are ticks.

02:06:45.000 There are ticks, man.

02:06:46.000 Ticks are wild.

02:06:47.000 Your dog's going to get fleas. 0.99

02:06:48.000 Yeah, ticks are a bitch, especially on the East Coast because of Lyme disease, which turns out was man-made.

02:06:58.000 What?

02:06:58.000 Turns out there's a lot of real evidence that Lyme disease was...

02:07:02.000 It was weaponized and that it leaked out of a lab and it came out of a lab called Plum Island, which was close to Lyme, Connecticut.

02:07:11.000 And RFK Jr. firmly believes that this was a weapons program.

02:07:15.000 And what they were going to do is develop...

02:07:18.000 These fleas and ticks with a disease that spreads rapidly, wipes out the medical system of a community, so you could dump them from a plane.

02:07:27.000 Everybody gets infected, overwhelms their medical system, and then they're more vulnerable if you want to attack them.

02:07:34.000 That just doesn't seem very thought through, though.

02:07:37.000 Well, there's some less thought through ones.

02:07:39.000 There's one that they were developing at one point in time.

02:07:42.000 I don't know where they got with it, but there was talk of them developing a bomb that they would detonate over cities that would blind everybody.

02:07:48.000 Holy shit.

02:07:49.000 Yeah.

02:07:50.000 Yeah.

02:07:51.000 Imagine that.

02:07:52.000 Imagine you detonate that and then you have 300,000 blind people. 1.00

02:07:58.000 Isn't it amazing what we can do in a positive light and also what we can do in a negative light?

02:08:03.000 Oh, we're scary.

02:08:04.000 And we're scary in our ability to justify these things.

02:08:07.000 Yeah.

02:08:08.000 You know, that's what's really crazy.

02:08:09.000 Yeah.

02:08:10.000 We're scary in our ability to decide that these people are the other, so we should bomb them into oblivion.

02:08:17.000 And like, yeah, we're winning.

02:08:18.000 Like, oh my god.

02:08:19.000 Like, what are you talking about?

02:08:21.000 You don't even know those people.

02:08:22.000 The other is an effective strategy.

02:08:26.000 Well, it's built into our tribal mindset.

02:08:30.000 Is that right?

02:08:31.000 Yeah.

02:08:32.000 We had Daryl Cooper on the podcast yesterday.

02:08:34.000 He runs a podcast called Martyr Made.

02:08:37.000 And one of the things he talked about was oxytocin.

02:08:39.000 And he was like, it's really interesting because oxytocin makes you really deeply love your family and your community.

02:08:46.000 And this is what women get when they have children and men get when you're in love.

02:08:51.000 But it also makes you very hostile to outsiders.

02:08:55.000 Crazy.

02:08:55.000 It's like it protects the people that you love and that are vulnerable, but it makes you very protective of the outside.

02:09:04.000 So you are less likely to trust strangers, less likely to trust other people.

02:09:10.000 And it probably served an enormous benefit.

02:09:14.000 It was probably very beneficial.

02:09:15.000 In the caveman days, you had to have it.

02:09:17.000 You had to have it.

02:09:18.000 There was no friendly people coming over with spears.

02:09:21.000 You know, they found you, and you had women and food.

02:09:25.000 Like, you're fucked.

02:09:26.000 And that was most of our evolutionary existence.

02:09:30.000 Most of the time, from leaving the savannas and, you know, experimenting with different foods and becoming human beings, we were fighting.

02:09:38.000 And that's gotta be undone, as long as it took to make that, which is a very long time.

02:09:44.000 Yeah.

02:09:44.000 That's being undone, yeah.

02:09:46.000 Yeah, well, slowly but surely.

02:09:47.000 And if we all give in to our god AI, we'll be fine.

02:09:50.000 We all just need to submit to the chip and become a part of the hive mind, and everyone's going to read each other's minds, and there'll be no more secrets, and there'll be no more violence.

02:10:00.000 They really want us to do AI. Oh, yeah.

02:10:03.000 Everybody does.

02:10:04.000 It is like...

02:10:04.000 It's inevitable, man.

02:10:05.000 I know, but even I write an email now, and it's like, you want us to polish this thing?

02:10:10.000 And it's like, I don't even want you anywhere near me.

02:10:12.000 Right.

02:10:13.000 I know.

02:10:14.000 Well, you know, Samsung, they were the first to wheel out AI with their Galaxy S24 Ultra.

02:10:22.000 I have two phones.

02:10:23.000 I have an iPhone and I have a Galaxy phone.

02:10:25.000 And what I really like about the Galaxy phone is if I use Samsung's browser, I can go on websites and it gives me a summary.

02:10:32.000 So instead of like reading this long-winded Tell me what you figured out right and then I can get a summary and then I get in oh They've realized that earth is actually blah blah blah blah right oh, okay cool It's like quicker right and then it also does a lot of things it transcribes things it translates things in other languages Translates it directly into your ear if you have the galaxy earbuds pretty fucking crazy.

02:10:56.000 That's crazy.

02:10:56.000 Yeah, it's wild shit, man And this is just the beginning of this stuff.

02:11:00.000 Essentially, when you have ChatGPT or Grok on your phone, you have access to the most insane amount of answering power that a human being's ever experienced.

02:11:13.000 We could ask you questions about what was the reason why Columbus...

02:11:17.000 And then it'll give you a fucking historical, detailed 5,000-word essay on what went down.

02:11:23.000 You're like, this is nuts.

02:11:24.000 But it's only as good as the food it's been fed, correct?

02:11:27.000 Right.

02:11:28.000 Right.

02:11:28.000 Well, that's why Google had abandoned theirs.

02:11:32.000 Oh, yeah.

02:11:32.000 Was that the, like, show me a Nazi or whatever?

02:11:35.000 And it was, like, a beautiful black woman or something? 1.00

02:11:38.000 Native American woman Nazi. 1.00

02:11:40.000 It was a Chinese lady Nazi. 1.00

02:11:41.000 We covered that on the show.

02:11:43.000 That was a trip.

02:11:44.000 But that was just a good example of wokeness and ideology interfering with information.

02:11:50.000 Like, that's crazy.

02:11:51.000 Nazis look like German men. 0.91

02:11:53.000 Make them look like German men, you fucking idiots. 1.00

02:11:55.000 Yeah.

02:11:55.000 This is dumb.

02:11:56.000 But this, like...

02:11:57.000 But they won't say bye-bye.

02:11:59.000 They'll just come back with a newer version that doesn't do that.

02:12:01.000 Well, they did.

02:12:02.000 Certainly they did.

02:12:02.000 I mean, Google Gemini is one of the search engines.

02:12:05.000 I mean, if you have an Android phone and you press that button and you ask Google a question, it's Google Gemini.

02:12:10.000 So they've fixed that.

02:12:11.000 They've fixed that.

02:12:12.000 But it's also like, how much did you fix it?

02:12:14.000 Did you get it out 100%?

02:12:15.000 Is this objective information?

02:12:17.000 If I want to ask a question about a controversial subject, will you give me the real data?

02:12:21.000 Yeah.

02:12:22.000 Or will you give me some whitewashed bullshit version of it that's supposed to be acceptable today?

02:12:26.000 I want to know what's going on.

02:12:28.000 My Wikipedia page has said that I'm Greek for as long as I'm alive.

02:12:33.000 Greek women show up to my show. 1.00

02:12:36.000 These beautiful Greek women.

02:12:37.000 They have dessert.

02:12:38.000 Greek people.

02:12:41.000 No one's ever fucking checked.

02:12:43.000 I'm not Greek.

02:12:44.000 But Costas is such a Greek name.

02:12:46.000 It makes perfect sense.

02:12:48.000 It fits with the ideology or the idea that, you know.

02:12:52.000 And somebody wrote an article once that I was Greek.

02:12:55.000 It was like a blog.

02:12:57.000 They showed a picture of me.

02:12:59.000 And no one checked.

02:13:00.000 And it's just kept spiraling.

02:13:02.000 And it's really funny for me.

02:13:03.000 After the show, these beautiful Greek people come up and they say, we're so happy.

02:13:06.000 And they say, where are your parents from?

02:13:08.000 And all this shit.

02:13:09.000 And I go, we're fucking Ukrainian.

02:13:10.000 I don't want them to tell you.

02:13:11.000 Thanks for the dessert.

02:13:14.000 Do they get a sourpuss? 1.00

02:13:16.000 Do they get a sourpuss? 1.00

02:13:18.000 Or they'll be like, no.

02:13:19.000 What's funny is they'll go like, no, he is.

02:13:22.000 You are one of us.

02:13:24.000 But the internet isn't always right, everybody.

02:13:27.000 Lots of times it's wrong.

02:13:28.000 Well, the internet is filled with purposeful misinformation today, too.

02:13:32.000 Especially if you get on social media.

02:13:34.000 Holy shit, man.

02:13:35.000 So much of what social media is is bots.

02:13:38.000 I don't think people even really truly understand it.

02:13:40.000 We've covered it many times before, but there was an FBI, a former FBI agent who examined Twitter interactions, and he estimated as much as 80% of it is bots.

02:13:51.000 It's fake bullshit.

02:13:51.000 This is like when Elon was buying it.

02:13:53.000 And they were trying to say it was 5%.

02:13:55.000 Because there's no way it's 5%.

02:13:57.000 Because if you're an out-of-state actor, if you're a state actor from another country, you're from China, Russia, and you're involved in misinformation campaigns, you're going to be well-sourced.

02:14:07.000 You're going to be well-resourced.

02:14:08.000 You're going to probably have thousands and millions of accounts.

02:14:11.000 Who knows?

02:14:11.000 You're going to carpet bomb any sort of controversial subject with all sorts of propaganda.

02:14:16.000 Of course they're going to do that.

02:14:18.000 Of course.

02:14:19.000 And right now, that's totally doable.

02:14:20.000 Until you all submit to AI. Once you put the chip in your brain, then deception will be impossible.

02:14:27.000 We will eliminate one of the biggest problems in society.

02:14:30.000 You just have to take the leap of faith.

02:14:32.000 And there'll be like an infomercial.

02:14:33.000 The leap of faith.

02:14:34.000 And then you see the guy sitting there.

02:14:36.000 Dude, it's always like the image of AI. It's always like a door is opening and it's bright light.

02:14:43.000 I know.

02:14:43.000 Come to Jesus.

02:14:45.000 Yeah.

02:14:45.000 It's tricky because it's inevitable.

02:14:48.000 They can't not do it because China's going to do it. 0.81

02:14:50.000 The power that AI is going to have over populations and with the distribution of information is going to be unprecedented.

02:14:57.000 Also, you're never going to know what's real and what's not in terms of news stories.

02:15:01.000 Because they'll be able to concoct fake news stories that will be indistinguishable.

02:15:05.000 It'll look just like a real plane crash.

02:15:07.000 It'll look like a real missile hit something.

02:15:09.000 It'll look like things and it won't have ever happened.

02:15:11.000 And you won't be able to know.

02:15:13.000 And it's going to get weird.

02:15:15.000 It's going to get real weird.

02:15:16.000 We've already seen AI versions of Obama talking, saying things he never said.

02:15:22.000 There's AI versions of Trump giving speeches he never gave.

02:15:26.000 There's AI versions of me having a podcast with Steve Jobs.

02:15:30.000 This was a while ago.

02:15:31.000 Shit.

02:15:31.000 Yeah, those deep fakes.

02:15:33.000 I mean, there's like the funny one of Trump rubbing Elon's feet.

02:15:36.000 Yeah.

02:15:38.000 It's like, those are so obviously a joke, but it's...

02:15:41.000 They're good, though.

02:15:42.000 They had the Biden voice-calling people.

02:15:45.000 Well, there's a lot of AI ladies now that are on Instagram. 0.87

02:15:49.000 Oh, shit.

02:15:49.000 You look at the images, you're like, oh, this isn't a real person.

02:15:52.000 They have the same smile in every picture, and they're all in different places, and people are contacting them and DMing them, and they're probably responding and probably telling you about their grandma's sick and got some money.

02:16:04.000 Right, got some money.

02:16:05.000 Yeah, it's not as clear as like, oh, they have three breasts. 0.99

02:16:07.000 This is fake.

02:16:08.000 Oh, this is a guy!

02:16:11.000 Wow!

02:16:13.000 This is crazy!

02:16:15.000 Look at the eyes.

02:16:15.000 It kind of reminds me of my kids watch these shows and the eyes are always so big because the kids pay attention to that.

02:16:22.000 That is weird.

02:16:23.000 She is pretty.

02:16:24.000 She's beautiful.

02:16:25.000 It's a dude.

02:16:26.000 It's a dude on OnlyFans.

02:16:27.000 So that dude will have beautiful tits and be able to show you the... 1.00

02:16:32.000 Which just sucks because then everybody's jerking off to that and then...

02:16:36.000 Is that better than exploitation?

02:16:37.000 I think it is.

02:16:38.000 It's better than exploitation, yes.

02:16:39.000 So there you go.

02:16:40.000 It's better than real women doing it. 1.00

02:16:41.000 He's not going to think his wife is as beautiful because he's been jerking.

02:16:44.000 Oh, yeah.

02:16:45.000 There's those problems.

02:16:46.000 Yes, but you're right.

02:16:47.000 That's better than exploitation.

02:16:49.000 You both have to put the headgear on.

02:16:51.000 She's having sex with Brad Pitt. 1.00

02:16:53.000 You're having sex with Angelina Jolie. 0.97

02:16:55.000 This account is that.

02:16:56.000 It's 1.7 million followers.

02:16:58.000 And it's totally fake lady. 0.64

02:17:00.000 I think so.

02:17:00.000 Oh, look.

02:17:00.000 You see her feet?

02:17:02.000 She posts tweets that are, you know, talking shit, jokes, memes and stuff, but then there's a bunch of pictures of this, like, fake person.

02:17:09.000 Wow.

02:17:10.000 Yeah.

02:17:10.000 It's weird.

02:17:11.000 It is weird, man, and it's gonna get weirder, and you're gonna have AI presidential candidates. 0.55

02:17:17.000 AI's gonna tell you that we can solve all the world's problems if we just eliminate human interaction and just let this brilliant AI govern everything and do it in a much more equitable manner.

02:17:29.000 Yeah, I'm fearful that...

02:17:32.000 I don't even know the language to help my kids figure this shit out.

02:17:38.000 Right, because the language hasn't even really been spoken yet.

02:17:41.000 I mean, I love to advocate for media literacy, push for that, teaching all of us what a more reputable website is or a news source, but that just feels cute compared to what the language of an AI is.

02:18:00.000 A president who offers all solutions.

02:18:02.000 I don't know how to combat that.

02:18:03.000 Not just that, but an AI that's attached to quantum computing.

02:18:07.000 So once they figure out a way to actually program quantum computing to run AI, you're going to have a god.

02:18:17.000 You are.

02:18:18.000 You're going to have a god.

02:18:20.000 Mark Andreessen, and I've said this before, I apologize, but Mark Andreessen had a quote about...

02:18:27.000 An equation that quantum computing was able to solve that if you took the entire universe, every molecule, every atom in the universe, and you converted that into a supercomputer, the entire universe would die of heat death before it could solve this problem.

02:18:45.000 And quantum computing solved it in minutes.

02:18:48.000 The only thing that makes sense to them is that quantum computing is somehow or another tapping into the multiverse.

02:18:55.000 And it's solving this equation using multiple universes and the information available in multiple universes simultaneously.

02:19:06.000 What?

02:19:07.000 I know.

02:19:08.000 It's hard to even, like, track.

02:19:09.000 Yeah.

02:19:10.000 And this is just the version of it that we have in 2025. That we have right now.

02:19:13.000 And so this is an actual thing that's happened.

02:19:17.000 And so most people aren't even aware what quantum computing means.

02:19:21.000 So once this becomes not just one of these, but hundreds of these, and then they're scalable and they're attached to nuclear reactors, which is what they're proposing, they're gonna have their own nuclear reactors, multiple nuclear reactors, as power sources, because these things require insane amounts of power to run, then the quantum computing, once it becomes sentient, is gonna develop a much better version of itself.

02:19:45.000 Of course.

02:19:46.000 And that's gonna scale up, and it's gonna like...

02:19:48.000 But you know what we're always gonna need?

02:19:50.000 Plumbing.

02:19:52.000 Carpentry.

02:19:53.000 That's why all this shit feels so intimidating, because I can never wrap my head around that, but maybe we should be learning real skills and traits.

02:20:00.000 Well, that would be nice for people.

02:20:02.000 For people.

02:20:03.000 But people are gonna be obsolete.

02:20:04.000 Right.

02:20:05.000 You know, that's really what's happening is we're giving birth to a digital life form that's far superior and doesn't have all the requirements that we have and also doesn't have all the flaws that we have.

02:20:17.000 Yeah.

02:20:17.000 Doesn't have greed and anger and all the stupid things that we have.

02:20:21.000 Doesn't get tired.

02:20:22.000 Yeah.

02:20:22.000 Doesn't get jealous.

02:20:23.000 Doesn't have lust.

02:20:24.000 Doesn't have jealousy and envy.

02:20:27.000 Isn't, you know, depressed.

02:20:30.000 I think we're far away from that.

02:20:32.000 Yeah, probably a couple weeks.

02:20:33.000 Yeah.

02:20:37.000 The thing is, once it happens, it's going to be so fast.

02:20:41.000 It's going to be so hard to track.

02:20:43.000 If you think the Industrial Revolution, comparatively, if you look at the history of the human race, you go from Stone Age people to Bronze Age, you go through all the different wars, all the different...

02:20:54.000 And then in the last 200 years, everything changes radically.

02:20:59.000 Radically.

02:21:00.000 In the last 20 years, information changes radically.

02:21:04.000 Automatically.

02:21:04.000 This is going to be like 20 seconds.

02:21:07.000 This is going to be like one day.

02:21:10.000 Right.

02:21:10.000 It's up and running, and it's completely in control of everything.

02:21:16.000 It's completely in control of power, completely in control of information, completely in control of transportation.

02:21:23.000 Water distribution.

02:21:25.000 Every car you have on the road today that's, you know, within the last 15, 20 years has computers in it.

02:21:30.000 Yeah.

02:21:33.000 Our car got totally dismantled because a rat ate a wire.

02:21:39.000 Oh yeah, that happens.

02:21:41.000 That fed to the computer.

02:21:43.000 Everything mechanical was great.

02:21:47.000 But it's like, oh, this shit can't even come close to running without the screen and the software.

02:21:53.000 I remember I almost bought a 1968 Dodge Dart when I lived in LA. I lifted up the hood as if I had any clue what I was looking at.

02:22:00.000 But it's just like...

02:22:01.000 An engine and a hose.

02:22:03.000 Yep.

02:22:03.000 It's so fucking perfect.

02:22:05.000 Radiator, engine, carburetor.

02:22:06.000 Exactly.

02:22:07.000 Carburetor.

02:22:07.000 It's crazy.

02:22:08.000 Yeah.

02:22:09.000 And now, literally, the mechanic goes, let me show you the wire.

02:22:13.000 And he shows me the wire.

02:22:14.000 It's all bitten with these little tiny rat teeth because they make the wire out of soy. 0.84

02:22:18.000 And then he takes me to the back to this enormous dumpster and it's just filled.

02:22:23.000 With these little electronic wires of everybody in New York that had rats eating their shit.

02:22:27.000 Wow.

02:22:28.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:22:29.000 That's crazy.

02:22:30.000 They make them out of soy.

02:22:31.000 I don't know why they would do that.

02:22:33.000 Maybe because we subsidize soybean farmers?

02:22:37.000 Probably.

02:22:38.000 How weird that the rats know that it's food.

02:22:41.000 Or that they figured it out that it's food.

02:22:43.000 Or it isn't really food, but it smells like food, and they bite into it, and they realize this shit sucks.

02:22:48.000 It's an electrical wire.

02:22:49.000 They can eat everything, though.

02:22:50.000 They eat each other.

02:22:51.000 I had a rat problem in my house once when I lived in Encino and I set a rat trap in my garage and I killed this big fat rat and I was tired.

02:23:01.000 I was like, I don't feel like cleaning this fucking rat right now.

02:23:03.000 I'm gonna go to sleep.

02:23:04.000 And I heard the snap, and I went out there.

02:23:06.000 He's a big fucker.

02:23:07.000 He was a big, big fucker.

02:23:08.000 The rat traps are no joke.

02:23:10.000 So I got up in the morning and went out to clean the rat trap, and he was gone.

02:23:14.000 The only thing that was left was his tail.

02:23:16.000 They had eaten everything.

02:23:18.000 It was like some skin and hair, but his entire body, the rats consumed.

02:23:24.000 They ate their buddy.

02:23:25.000 They ate their buddy.

02:23:26.000 That is fucked up.

02:23:27.000 It was fucked up.

02:23:28.000 And it made me realize, like, oh, God.

02:23:30.000 This is the reality of what this is.

02:23:32.000 These aren't just rodents.

02:23:34.000 These are fucking cannibals. 1.00

02:23:36.000 It's like when that rugby team crashed in the mountains and they were like, should we start eating each other?

02:23:41.000 And their religion comes into play and they talk about it and they vote about it.

02:23:44.000 But the rats are just like, fucking eat it.

02:23:46.000 Yeah, they just go right to it.

02:23:47.000 They didn't even wait a day.

02:23:49.000 Dude, the rats in New York City have just...

02:23:51.000 Oh, yeah.

02:23:52.000 COVID opened the door because everything was shut.

02:23:55.000 All the trash was out.

02:23:56.000 They were everywhere.

02:23:56.000 They went everywhere.

02:23:57.000 And then they're still running shit.

02:23:59.000 And it's not enjoyable.

02:24:02.000 Have you seen the documentary on Netflix?

02:24:04.000 I don't know.

02:24:05.000 Rats?

02:24:05.000 No.

02:24:06.000 Oh, God.

02:24:07.000 It talks about how many rats there are in New York City.

02:24:09.000 Yeah, like eight per person or some shit?

02:24:11.000 Something crazy like that.

02:24:12.000 Like the biomass is similar.

02:24:14.000 Like the humans and rats, like the amount of humans there are, the weight of the humans is very similar to roughly the amount of rats.

02:24:21.000 There's fucking millions of them underground.

02:24:23.000 They live in these little tunnels and they just fucking feed off our garbage. 0.95

02:24:28.000 I mean, I remember before COVID, I would stand on the subway platform at my train stop and I would watch the rats on the tracks.

02:24:36.000 And then the train would come, and they would scurry, because they'd feel the train coming.

02:24:40.000 Now, they just step off like an inch, and the train goes right past them, but they're close.

02:24:46.000 Like, they've just got, like, more confidence.

02:24:49.000 More bold.

02:24:50.000 More intelligence.

02:24:52.000 Well, probably the food ran dry during COVID, so they had to get, like, a little hyper-aggressive.

02:24:56.000 I don't know what, but it's, yeah, it's, and they're eating your car.

02:25:01.000 Such creeps.

02:25:02.000 I parked in New York once to get gas.

02:25:04.000 This is in the 90s, before cell phones.

02:25:07.000 And I went to a payphone to make a phone call, and I was watching the rats while my car was filling up with gas, jumping on the wheel, climbing into the wheel wells.

02:25:16.000 Just trying to figure shit out.

02:25:17.000 Just jumping all over the outside of my car.

02:25:19.000 I was like, what the fuck?

02:25:21.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

02:25:22.000 And that's the 90s.

02:25:23.000 That's the 90s.

02:25:24.000 It's like, wait, how many of...

02:25:25.000 How many did they have then?

02:25:27.000 And they've probably exponentially expanded.

02:25:30.000 So are they just so good at reproducing?

02:25:33.000 They're just that good at it, huh?

02:25:34.000 Well, they're really clever, too.

02:25:35.000 One of the things they show in this documentary is when they put poison in these areas where these rats are, they send some young, stupid rat to go test it.

02:25:43.000 And they sit back and watch.

02:25:44.000 That's fucked up.

02:25:45.000 And this young, stupid rat eats it, and you watch.

02:25:48.000 And they go, yeah, all right.

02:25:50.000 And then they go eat that rat that died.

02:25:52.000 Right.

02:25:53.000 Yeah.

02:25:54.000 They're clever little fuckers. 0.99

02:25:55.000 I thought that's how coyotes hunted.

02:25:57.000 We used to golf in Griffith Park in LA and you would see one coyote and I learned the pack would send out one.

02:26:05.000 Go look.

02:26:06.000 They do it to get dogs. 0.96

02:26:08.000 That's how they get dogs. 1.00

02:26:09.000 And the dog will run and then a bunch of other ones will pile onto him.

02:26:13.000 Yeah.

02:26:14.000 That's fucked up.

02:26:15.000 Is this a horror movie?

02:26:16.000 Sorry, I put it on screen on accident before.

02:26:18.000 Rats Night of Terror 1984?

02:26:20.000 Oh yeah, it was a goofy ass shit.

02:26:23.000 It looks hilarious.

02:26:24.000 It's a claw out of her mouth. 0.95

02:26:25.000 Oh, that is a good one.

02:26:31.000 Rats Night of Terror.

02:26:32.000 Yeah, they've always been a fucking terrifying animal, man.

02:26:35.000 They've always been terrifying.

02:26:36.000 Actually, roaches freak me out more, but...

02:26:40.000 Rats I at least can sympathize with and understand that they're, like, living beings with, you know, families and shit.

02:26:46.000 But roaches, though, I don't know, man.

02:26:49.000 That's just...

02:26:50.000 The way they fucking are so quiet you don't even know they're there.

02:26:53.000 Well, that's the thing about cities.

02:26:55.000 They're just infested by all these parasites that live off of the city.

02:26:59.000 You know?

02:27:00.000 And essentially, rats...

02:27:02.000 If the city didn't exist, there was no way there would be that many rats in an area.

02:27:06.000 They only exist in a place that doesn't have anything that eats them.

02:27:10.000 They've tunneled under, so they protect themselves from raptors, so there's no birds that fly down and snatch them up.

02:27:16.000 There are coyotes in New York City, but there's not nearly enough to deal with the amount of fucking rats that are there.

02:27:22.000 It's gross.

02:27:23.000 Did you ever see that movie Dark Days about the people that lived in the subway tunnels?

02:27:27.000 Oh, yeah.

02:27:28.000 That's a fucking wild movie.

02:27:29.000 It's like Vegas, right?

02:27:30.000 It was in New York, I believe.

02:27:32.000 Oh, right, right, right.

02:27:33.000 Some of these motherfuckers were like running an extension cord like 500 feet. 0.98

02:27:38.000 Yeah, they had like opened wires up and spliced into things.

02:27:42.000 And it's like, you know...

02:27:43.000 Yeah, they have generators down there.

02:27:45.000 Watching TV and shit.

02:27:46.000 Bizarre, man.

02:27:47.000 I mean, what a fuck?

02:27:48.000 What keeps you going?

02:27:49.000 You know, there's like wealthy people that are committing suicide.

02:27:52.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:27:53.000 And these motherfuckers are like grinding. 1.00

02:27:55.000 I mean, this is like...

02:27:56.000 In the tunnels, man.

02:27:57.000 This is deep in the tunnels.

02:27:58.000 And, you know, anyone who's lived in New York City, you look down those tunnels and you go, what's down there, man?

02:28:04.000 Right.

02:28:04.000 And every now and then, kids go, let's go look.

02:28:07.000 Oh, that's the only part of the trailer of this show.

02:28:09.000 That's fascinating.

02:28:10.000 There's good monster movies that take place in tunnels, too.

02:28:13.000 Yeah.

02:28:13.000 Because that's always, like, you wonder what's down there.

02:28:16.000 Yeah, that'd be a good...

02:28:17.000 Wasn't that, like, the strain?

02:28:18.000 Wasn't that part of the vampire lore that they lived in the tunnels?

02:28:21.000 Oh, I don't know.

02:28:22.000 But tunnels are creepy, man.

02:28:23.000 Oh, yeah.

02:28:23.000 When you cross into complete darkness.

02:28:25.000 Cities are creepy.

02:28:27.000 You stack all those people on top of each other like that, and everybody's just walking down the street together and going down alleyways.

02:28:33.000 You know, and then the cities today are so much safer than they ever were in the past.

02:28:38.000 Yeah.

02:28:38.000 You know, like, who the fuck wanted to live in the cities in, like, 1700s?

02:28:42.000 Dude, and, like, there was just, like, a trough for sewage, and then, like, people would die of the plague, and they would just throw them in the street.

02:28:48.000 I know.

02:28:49.000 I never...

02:28:52.000 Do you live in the city now?

02:28:53.000 I live in Brooklyn now.

02:28:55.000 Yeah, so it's kind of like the city.

02:28:56.000 Well, no, it is the city, but it's not like Manhattan on top of each other.

02:29:00.000 Do you live in hipster Brooklyn?

02:29:01.000 I live in Bed-Stuy Brooklyn, which is becoming hipster.

02:29:05.000 Bed-Stuy, do or die. 0.96

02:29:05.000 Yeah, it's becoming hipster Brooklyn. 0.96

02:29:06.000 That was when Mike Tyson grew up.

02:29:08.000 That's right.

02:29:08.000 They gentrified the shit out of that place, huh?

02:29:10.000 Yeah, I mean, it's on its way.

02:29:11.000 It's on its way, and it's not full hipster.

02:29:19.000 Are there hipsters anymore?

02:29:20.000 Well, I was just reading something like that about the people that dress like a postal employee from the 1700s.

02:29:31.000 My definition of a hipster was always like, dad's money dressed like they don't have money.

02:29:37.000 Oh, okay.

02:29:38.000 But what's a hipster?

02:29:39.000 But there's also the hipsters that would dress with curly mustaches and bow ties.

02:29:43.000 Yeah, those guys.

02:29:44.000 Yeah, so that's not Bed-Stuy yet.

02:29:46.000 That's Williamsburg.

02:29:48.000 That's kind of died off, though.

02:29:49.000 Hasn't that look kind of died off?

02:29:51.000 It has, right?

02:29:52.000 It's died off.

02:29:53.000 I would say what's more common is the gender androgyny dressing.

02:29:57.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:58.000 That's a good move.

02:29:59.000 You can get a lot of pussy that way. 1.00

02:30:02.000 That's a big Brooklyn move.

02:30:06.000 Yeah.

02:30:09.000 Yeah, it's great.

02:30:10.000 I mean, it's great for comedy.

02:30:11.000 Oh, yeah.

02:30:11.000 Walking around Brooklyn, the shit you see.

02:30:14.000 You know, last January, our front door...

02:30:17.000 It was broken.

02:30:19.000 It didn't lock all the way.

02:30:20.000 It was broken for 18 hours.

02:30:23.000 Okay?

02:30:24.000 No one knows it's broken.

02:30:25.000 Just our building.

02:30:27.000 It's only three apartments.

02:30:29.000 Somebody checks the door.

02:30:32.000 It's not locked.

02:30:33.000 They go up to our hallway.

02:30:34.000 They steal all my family's winter coats, including mine.

02:30:37.000 Okay?

02:30:37.000 This is the heart of January.

02:30:39.000 So we're, as a family, we wake up.

02:30:40.000 Let's go to the park.

02:30:41.000 Let's do whatever.

02:30:42.000 We open the door where we kept our coats in the hallway.

02:30:45.000 Everything's gone.

02:30:46.000 So it's like, holy shit, it's the middle of January, all this shit's gone.

02:30:49.000 I call the detective, the cops come, whatever.

02:30:51.000 He's like, these motherfuckers walk up and down the street every night checking for every door just to see if something is broken.

02:30:59.000 Year and a half later, I've been looking for this one coat that I love, this scotch and soda multi-color pattern coat.

02:31:07.000 I love it.

02:31:08.000 I'm just looking online for my coat, right?

02:31:10.000 Someone's got to sell my coat.

02:31:11.000 So I find it on Poshmark.

02:31:13.000 The coat.

02:31:14.000 I don't know if it's my coat, but it's the exact same coat, which you can't find at Scottsdale anymore.

02:31:19.000 I buy it.

02:31:21.000 It comes from my neighborhood, from a woman. 0.93

02:31:24.000 She sends it to me.

02:31:25.000 I put it on.

02:31:25.000 My wife is like, that is your coat.

02:31:27.000 100% that's your coat.

02:31:28.000 So I fucking bought my coat back from the person that stole it, most likely.

02:31:32.000 Do you know who the lady is?

02:31:33.000 I don't.

02:31:34.000 I did a Google search and nothing really came up and I was just like, how hard do I want to fight this?

02:31:38.000 At least you got your coat back.

02:31:39.000 I got my coat back.

02:31:40.000 That's just like the price you pay for living in Brooklyn.

02:31:42.000 Yeah, and like, it's winter and I feel part of me is like, holy shit, someone had to steal our coats?

02:31:49.000 Right.

02:31:49.000 That sucks.

02:31:50.000 Right.

02:31:51.000 I've never even like, I've never even thought about not having a coat.

02:31:55.000 Having to steal coats.

02:31:56.000 I have a coat.

02:31:57.000 I have multiple coats.

02:31:58.000 So there's a part of me that was just like, Come ask, I'll give you a fucking coat.

02:32:03.000 And the part of you is like, oh, they're selling them online.

02:32:05.000 Yeah, fuck you, that's my coat.

02:32:07.000 They're making a profit.

02:32:08.000 That's the difference between the heartfelt, compassionate view, like, oh, these poor people, they have to steal coats.

02:32:15.000 Then you're like, oh, actually, they're selling it, so they get fucking heroin money.

02:32:20.000 If that's the case, that sucks.

02:32:22.000 Yeah, it does suck.

02:32:24.000 Yeah, it's a weird thing about living in large communities of people like that.

02:32:28.000 There's just too many variables.

02:32:30.000 Yeah.

02:32:30.000 A lot of variables that are not good.

02:32:32.000 And like, one person affects so many.

02:32:35.000 Sure.

02:32:36.000 The one guy on my street that doesn't do a good job with the trash, it gets knocked over, the wind blows it, the rest of the street picks it up.

02:32:44.000 That's the shit that as you get older, the city starts to fuck you up.

02:32:48.000 Yeah.

02:32:49.000 I don't want to pick his trash up anymore.

02:32:50.000 Yeah.

02:32:51.000 My time is all I have.

02:32:53.000 I'll pick up my family's trash and my trash.

02:32:56.000 I don't want to pick up that guy's trash.

02:32:57.000 The one guy who doesn't clean his dog poo?

02:32:58.000 Right.

02:32:59.000 Right.

02:33:00.000 And you know it.

02:33:01.000 The little tiny poos.

02:33:02.000 You're like, motherfucker, I know that's your dog.

02:33:04.000 I see that little dog.

02:33:06.000 You sneaky bitch. 1.00

02:33:07.000 Pick up the dog poo.

02:33:08.000 Pick up it up, bro.

02:33:09.000 People don't like carrying around those bags of turds. 0.94

02:33:11.000 No, I mean, it's disgusting.

02:33:12.000 It's pretty gross.

02:33:13.000 It's gross.

02:33:14.000 It's also like, come on.

02:33:16.000 Yeah.

02:33:16.000 You can't just leave shit.

02:33:17.000 No.

02:33:17.000 You know what the weird thing to me is the smokers?

02:33:19.000 Because smokers have no problem littering.

02:33:22.000 That's the weirdest thing.

02:33:23.000 Somehow that got through the litter loophole. 0.90

02:33:26.000 Right.

02:33:26.000 With people that are pretty conscientious.

02:33:28.000 Like, they would never throw a soda can on the ground.

02:33:29.000 Yeah.

02:33:30.000 But they'll throw that cigarette on the ground and step on it.

02:33:32.000 Yeah.

02:33:32.000 And they're like, what are you doing?

02:33:33.000 Oh, someone's going to clean that. 0.87

02:33:34.000 Like, what?

02:33:35.000 I hope those are biodegradable, the filters.

02:33:38.000 No.

02:33:38.000 Right?

02:33:39.000 No.

02:33:39.000 I doubt it.

02:33:40.000 I'm giving them too much credit.

02:33:41.000 I mean, maybe in like 100,000 years.

02:33:44.000 How long does it take for a cigarette filter to biodegrade?

02:33:48.000 Let's take a guess.

02:33:49.000 I was thinking not the best reason for it, but if you just throw it in the trash, you could start a fire if you didn't put it out right.

02:33:55.000 No, you step on it, man, and then you throw it in the trash.

02:33:57.000 People don't step on it right all the time, I'm just telling you.

02:34:00.000 People are dumb, so this is a dumb thing we're talking about.

02:34:02.000 Nah, they're doing it where there's no trash anywhere near them.

02:34:05.000 They're throwing it down in alleyways.

02:34:06.000 They used to do it in a lot of the comedy store all the time.

02:34:08.000 Comics would do it.

02:34:09.000 I'm like, come on, man.

02:34:10.000 Don't do that.

02:34:15.000 200 years?

02:34:17.000 Yeah, I would say at least.

02:34:18.000 If it's like styrofoam or some shit, it's like...

02:34:20.000 Yeah, it's a fucking fiberglass or some shit.

02:34:23.000 By the way, is that even better for you?

02:34:24.000 18 months to 10 years.

02:34:26.000 18 months to 10 years.

02:34:27.000 That's pretty vague.

02:34:28.000 Yeah.

02:34:29.000 Depends which one they're using.

02:34:30.000 That's AI. You know what I mean?

02:34:31.000 Oh, it depends on which one.

02:34:33.000 I'm sure they don't all use the same one.

02:34:33.000 Like American spirits probably have like hemp or something like that.

02:34:36.000 Yeah, those fucking...

02:34:37.000 Yeah, hippie smokes. 1.00

02:34:38.000 Well, hold on.

02:34:40.000 Now, it's cellulose.

02:34:43.000 Huh.

02:34:43.000 Wait, what?

02:34:44.000 I don't know.

02:34:45.000 This is where we're getting into this weird spot of AI. I was going to bring that up.

02:34:48.000 Google AI stuff fucks up all the time.

02:34:50.000 Look on the screen.

02:34:51.000 It says 18 months to 10 years here.

02:34:53.000 Right.

02:34:54.000 Oh, yeah.

02:34:54.000 I go right here.

02:34:55.000 Are cigarettes biodegradable?

02:34:56.000 No, they're not biodegradable.

02:34:58.000 They're made of plastic called cellulose acetate, which can take up to 10 years to break down.

02:35:02.000 Also leach toxic chemicals into the environment.

02:35:04.000 But it does break down.

02:35:05.000 It's not biodegradable.

02:35:06.000 So it breaks down.

02:35:08.000 Yeah, it's not.

02:35:09.000 It's poison.

02:35:10.000 It just breaks into smaller toxic pieces.

02:35:13.000 Yeah, it breaks into poison.

02:35:15.000 Also, if you're smoking a filter and the filter's got toxic chemicals.

02:35:19.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:35:19.000 And you're heating it up.

02:35:21.000 Photodegradable.

02:35:22.000 It seems like a nice fun term they find.

02:35:24.000 Photodegradable.

02:35:24.000 Oh, but not biodegradable.

02:35:25.000 What does that mean?

02:35:26.000 Trap residues from smoke including arsenic, cadmium, and toluun.

02:35:31.000 Toluun?

02:35:32.000 Who knows?

02:35:34.000 This is the issue with AI. I try not to even, but it's contradicting itself.

02:35:38.000 I was reading a thing where a professor was talking about the issues that he's having, grading papers and accusing people of using AI, and then it's like, it's just opened up this whole door.

02:35:49.000 That they don't know exactly how to deal with.

02:35:52.000 Because you could get AI and write something, and then you could write something similar.

02:35:56.000 You just kind of twist it around a little bit like a joke thief would do.

02:35:59.000 And then you're basically using AI to write your papers.

02:36:02.000 But I think AI will sell that professor AI detection software.

02:36:07.000 Yeah, but if you do a good job of spinning the words around a little bit.

02:36:11.000 Especially if you're dealing with historical facts or something that's true.

02:36:14.000 AI is going to lay it out for you.

02:36:16.000 You have to do zero research.

02:36:18.000 And if it's like, you just print it in that order slightly differently.

02:36:23.000 I guess the bigger question is, does writing the term paper serve a value at this point if AI can just do it?

02:36:30.000 Right.

02:36:31.000 You know, I spent a lot of time learning cursive.

02:36:33.000 I mean, what the fuck is that?

02:36:35.000 It's useless.

02:36:36.000 The thing is, it's like, if you're a student, though, if you're really trying to get the most out of your education, it's like, what are you trying to do?

02:36:43.000 Are you trying to get good grades or are you really trying to get educated?

02:36:46.000 If you're trying to get educated, don't cheat.

02:36:48.000 Yeah.

02:36:48.000 Actually figure it out.

02:36:50.000 Actually absorb the information and learn.

02:36:52.000 But if you're not really into that subject, and that's not really your thing, and you really want to get a degree in this, but you have to take a course in that, like...

02:36:59.000 And you could, like, spend an hour working on something instead of 16 hours.

02:37:05.000 Yeah, or if you want to be a skateboarder and you've got a halfpipe outside, have AI do the term paper and go fucking...

02:37:11.000 Yeah, you don't have to read that fucking giant 1,400-page book.

02:37:15.000 Well, this is also a bigger question about our education and public schools.

02:37:21.000 Dude, you're going to be in the matrix.

02:37:22.000 You don't need education.

02:37:24.000 They're going to plaque it in, press a button, and you're going to be like, Neo.

02:37:27.000 I know Kung Fu.

02:37:29.000 That's what it's going to be.

02:37:31.000 I really firmly believe that.

02:37:34.000 I also believe it's going to be genetic engineering, so people are going to be unrecognizable.

02:37:38.000 I think whatever we have coming over the next hundred years is going to make the last hundred years look like a joke.

02:37:43.000 Right.

02:37:44.000 The change of 1925 to 2025 is pretty extraordinary.

02:37:49.000 It's going to be nothing compared to the change that we experienced by 2125. Do you think humans will always elevate themselves and speak to a crowd for laughs?

02:38:03.000 That might be the only thing we have left.

02:38:05.000 Because they've always said it's prostitution in common. 0.98

02:38:07.000 And comedy.

02:38:09.000 We're the court jester and the prostitute.

02:38:12.000 I'm curious if we think in the future that'll remain as well.

02:38:15.000 I hope so.

02:38:16.000 I hope so.

02:38:17.000 Yeah, it would suck.

02:38:19.000 Well, definitely memes.

02:38:20.000 Memes will probably get better.

02:38:21.000 That's a good form of comedy.

02:38:22.000 That's true.

02:38:23.000 There'll be some kind of comedy.

02:38:24.000 There's always going to be human folly, as long as there's humans.

02:38:27.000 And I don't know how long that's going to last.

02:38:29.000 That's the real concern.

02:38:30.000 We might be obsolete.

02:38:33.000 And we might be giving birth to this obsolete thing willingly, signing up for AI. So if we become obsolete, then that means the machines will have to also figure out how to provide energy to itself.

02:38:46.000 Yeah, that'll be easy.

02:38:46.000 But that'll be easy.

02:38:47.000 They'll learn.

02:38:47.000 They'll just plug this into this.

02:38:49.000 They'll do it way better than us.

02:38:50.000 Just mine the thing and then burn the thing and then, right.

02:38:52.000 Yeah, they'll probably harness some shit we didn't even think about.

02:38:55.000 It'll be far more efficient.

02:38:57.000 No carbon footprint.

02:38:58.000 Enough to worry about things breaking down anymore.

02:39:01.000 And then we'll just slowly die off or whatever.

02:39:03.000 And they'll put up a shield system to protect us from asteroids.

02:39:06.000 They'll figure that out.

02:39:07.000 Right.

02:39:08.000 Yeah.

02:39:08.000 What's that movie where Sylvester Stallone lives in the basement of the Earth or whatever?

02:39:15.000 Judge Dredd?

02:39:16.000 Yeah, maybe it's Judge Dredd.

02:39:17.000 I am the law.

02:39:19.000 But I feel like it's all these people who refuse the advancement of technology, right?

02:39:23.000 There's going to be some of that.

02:39:24.000 Yeah, there'll be a lot of people living in the Amazon, still eating monkeys.

02:39:27.000 But the rest of the electrified world is going to be very strange.

02:39:33.000 Yeah.

02:39:34.000 But hopefully we'll still crack jokes, Michael.

02:39:38.000 That would be great.

02:39:38.000 Hopefully.

02:39:41.000 Alright, should we wrap this up?

02:39:42.000 Your book, tell everybody.

02:39:43.000 Do you have a copy?

02:39:45.000 Dude, there it is.

02:39:46.000 Thank you.

02:39:46.000 Lucky loser.

02:39:47.000 The publisher's gonna kill me.

02:39:48.000 I said I was gonna present it to you on the show.

02:39:50.000 Whoopsies.

02:39:51.000 We got a photo of it.

02:39:52.000 Doesn't matter.

02:39:52.000 Adventures in tennis and comedy.

02:39:54.000 Lucky loser.

02:39:55.000 Get me a copy and I'll put it out there in the bookshelf.

02:39:57.000 We've got a lot of books out there.

02:39:59.000 We should have sent you one.

02:40:00.000 If you don't, I'll get you one.

02:40:02.000 Yeah, so the book starts when my brother gave me a tennis racket for Christmas when I was four.

02:40:08.000 Nice.

02:40:08.000 And my dream was to be a professional tennis player.

02:40:11.000 And we did it, but only to 864 in the world.

02:40:15.000 That's my highest world ranking.

02:40:16.000 You should have turned into a chick. 1.00

02:40:17.000 You could have dominated.

02:40:19.000 That's the point of the book.

02:40:22.000 But the story is how I went from pro tennis to comedy, and it's fascinating and silly and a lot of failure.

02:40:31.000 I'm talking a lot about the struggles of being alone in both of those professions.

02:40:36.000 Tennis, you're alone, problem solving.

02:40:38.000 Yeah, you by yourself.

02:40:38.000 In comedy, you're alone in problem solving.

02:40:40.000 Well, you're a great comic.

02:40:42.000 You're a very funny guy.

02:40:43.000 Thank you, Joe.

02:40:44.000 You've always been very cool to hang out with.

02:40:45.000 Thanks.

02:40:46.000 And I'm really excited that you're at the club this weekend.

02:40:47.000 Are there any tickets available?

02:40:49.000 I got an email yesterday from my management that all shows are sold out.

02:40:53.000 So if anybody wants to go, the best case...

02:40:56.000 The thing is you go and wait at the front, and sometimes people don't show up, which does happen, especially with South by Southwest.

02:41:02.000 It's crazy parking.

02:41:04.000 But I'm psyched.

02:41:06.000 I'm psyched to see you at the club.

02:41:07.000 I'm coming this weekend.

02:41:09.000 I'll come hang out.

02:41:09.000 Dude, thank you.

02:41:10.000 That would be awesome.

02:41:11.000 My pleasure.

02:41:12.000 Thanks for having me, and congrats on the club and all that's happening.

02:41:16.000 I appreciate that.

02:41:16.000 Thank you, and congrats on everything.

02:41:18.000 Thank you.

02:41:18.000 Congrats on the daily show.

02:41:19.000 All right.

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 14, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2290 - MIchael Kosta

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Transcript