The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2302 - Ron White

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:05.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night!

00:00:08.000 All day!

00:00:12.000 We up?

00:00:12.000 Hey, fella, we're up.

00:00:14.000 What's going on, Ronway?

00:00:16.000 I'm feeling good, finally, after my little bout with fucking COVID.

00:00:21.000 They gotcha.

00:00:22.000 They gotcha with the new COVID.

00:00:23.000 They got me with the new COVID, man.

00:00:25.000 I thought the new COVID was total bullshit.

00:00:26.000 I thought it was like a baby cold.

00:00:28.000 I had, um...

00:00:30.000 You know, my girlfriend raised two kids, and she said she's never seen anybody puke as much as I did for two days.

00:00:38.000 Wow. And it was brutal.

00:00:41.000 It was just bile, and I don't even know if I've ever been that sick.

00:00:47.000 It only lasted that part of it a couple of days.

00:00:49.000 That's interesting.

00:00:50.000 I wonder if you got multiple things at the same time.

00:00:53.000 Do people usually puke a lot if they get COVID?

00:00:56.000 Jamie, do you know?

00:00:58.000 I don't remember that being a symptom.

00:01:00.000 I don't remember having that either.

00:01:02.000 You might have had a couple things at the same time.

00:01:04.000 There was a bad flu going around too.

00:01:06.000 Well, I went to Vegas.

00:01:10.000 And early, and I just thought I had a cold when I went, and my doctor here gave me a shot of steroids, and I felt way fucking better.

00:01:20.000 I mean, I felt better everywhere.

00:01:21.000 I was more flexible.

00:01:22.000 I was like, fuck, I want to do steroids every goddamn day.

00:01:25.000 What kind of steroid was it?

00:01:26.000 I don't know, but whatever it was, man, I could touch the floor without bending my knees, without stretching at all.

00:01:33.000 Like a cortisone shot?

00:01:34.000 I don't know.

00:01:35.000 She said steroids. 0.98

00:01:37.000 She gave it to me.

00:01:37.000 I don't ask a lot of questions.

00:01:38.000 So you just felt loose?

00:01:40.000 I felt loose and good.

00:01:41.000 I played really good golf.

00:01:43.000 And then I got there and it started catching up with me.

00:01:46.000 I had my girlfriend.

00:01:47.000 I'm staying in the mansion down at MGM Grand, which is pretty sweet.

00:01:53.000 And I had that show just on Saturday.

00:01:55.000 We got there on Wednesday.

00:01:57.000 And I'm like, fuck it, I'm not going to make it.

00:01:59.000 I felt it all start to deteriorate.

00:02:01.000 So I called this doctor.

00:02:01.000 It was so bad, you didn't think you were going to make it on Saturday.

00:02:04.000 I didn't.

00:02:05.000 I thought I would need another shot of steroids. 0.61

00:02:09.000 So I called the doctor.

00:02:11.000 I had the hotel call a doctor.

00:02:13.000 And I thought I was getting the doctor that was, you know, whatever it takes to get through the show.

00:02:19.000 Right. But that's not the doctor I got.

00:02:22.000 The doctor I got was, let's test you for COVID.

00:02:26.000 I'm like, no, no, I don't have COVID.

00:02:27.000 He said, I won't charge you if it's negative.

00:02:30.000 Which didn't make any sense to me.

00:02:32.000 And I said, well, okay.

00:02:34.000 And then it came up positive for COVID.

00:02:37.000 And he said, see there, the T and the X and the thing.

00:02:40.000 And I said, yeah, I see it.

00:02:41.000 Let's do it again.

00:02:43.000 Because I don't think I have COVID.

00:02:45.000 So we did it again.

00:02:46.000 Came up positive again.

00:02:48.000 Not only would he not give me the COVID shot, he told me to quit taking the antibiotics I was already on.

00:02:54.000 And he did nothing except for call the CDC to tell them I had COVID, and they both said, you cannot do the show.

00:03:04.000 I'm like, wait a minute.

00:03:06.000 You're the wrong doctor.

00:03:07.000 I don't want to fucking retire today, shit.

00:03:10.000 I want to, here's your drummer's a junkie.

00:03:13.000 He's out of heroin.

00:03:14.000 Get him some fucking something to get him through this goddamn show.

00:03:16.000 So they were telling you you can't do this show because you had a specific kind of a cold.

00:03:21.000 A COVID cold.

00:03:22.000 So if you had the flu, would he have stopped you from doing the show?

00:03:27.000 I'd say absolutely not.

00:03:28.000 That's so weird.

00:03:29.000 I don't think it would even come up.

00:03:31.000 That's so weird.

00:03:32.000 Right now, like, the deaths from COVID now are so low.

00:03:37.000 Like, the idea that this is still a pandemic and they still have to treat it differently than they do a cold?

00:03:42.000 They do.

00:03:42.000 Why? Well, you know, I was faced with Do I cancel a show?

00:03:50.000 Well, that's not the same as St. Louis when they just move the date and the people from St. Louis come back out.

00:03:55.000 This is Las Vegas.

00:03:56.000 A lot of those people come specifically to see me because I don't do all those shows that I used to do.

00:04:01.000 So it's kind of, if you want to come see it, that's a good place.

00:04:05.000 And so it's a problem.

00:04:06.000 It's a refund.

00:04:08.000 You've got to refund them all because those people aren't going to be there.

00:04:11.000 Most importantly, your fans are bummed out.

00:04:13.000 Yeah, I've disappointed them.

00:04:15.000 Everybody's here.

00:04:16.000 Fuck, let's do the show. 0.99

00:04:17.000 So I just sit there.

00:04:20.000 I didn't know what to do.

00:04:20.000 So I'm like, well, I'm just going to call MGM Grand and tell them what the fuck's going on and let it be their call, you know.

00:04:26.000 And they're like, so how do you feel?

00:04:29.000 I'm like, I feel like I can make it through the show.

00:04:33.000 And they're like, well, I say let's just go ahead and do it.

00:04:35.000 You know, it's a big room.

00:04:36.000 You're not within six feet of anybody.

00:04:38.000 It's 2025.

00:04:40.000 It's 2025.

00:04:41.000 You did tell me you had COVID, and I gave you a big hug on Monday.

00:04:46.000 I saw you on Monday.

00:04:47.000 Yeah. When we did Kill Tony.

00:04:50.000 Right, and I was fine.

00:04:51.000 You were a super spreader on Kill Tony.

00:04:53.000 You son of a bitch.

00:04:54.000 Big time.

00:04:54.000 I'm an asshole.

00:04:55.000 The biggest asshole ever.

00:04:56.000 It would be so horrible.

00:04:58.000 Nobody got sick!

00:04:58.000 I know, nobody did.

00:04:59.000 Nobody got sick.

00:05:00.000 And it wasn't until the next day that I got sick.

00:05:03.000 That's when the vomiting started.

00:05:05.000 It wasn't in Vegas.

00:05:07.000 It was day two.

00:05:08.000 It was Tuesday after Kill Tony.

00:05:11.000 That's when I got sick.

00:05:13.000 And it was fucking awful.

00:05:17.000 I mean, for two days, just awful.

00:05:19.000 Did you get another steroid shot?

00:05:21.000 No, nobody would give me one.

00:05:23.000 So, I don't know, man.

00:05:25.000 I just got the wrong guy.

00:05:26.000 You gotta go to Gold's Gym.

00:05:27.000 Yeah, right.

00:05:29.000 Find the biggest guy in the room and say, who's your doctor?

00:05:31.000 Dude, you got something, don't you?

00:05:33.000 You know you got something, bro.

00:05:34.000 Come on, man.

00:05:36.000 Aren't you a Ron White fan?

00:05:37.000 Give me some fucking steroids. 0.89

00:05:39.000 Just to get me around the corner.

00:05:41.000 So, I'm back.

00:05:43.000 I feel fine today.

00:05:45.000 That's good.

00:05:47.000 Good to see you back.

00:05:47.000 Really good news.

00:05:48.000 You coming to the club tonight?

00:05:51.000 You know, they asked me to...

00:05:52.000 I don't know who's got the set tonight.

00:05:54.000 I don't know who's got the show.

00:05:55.000 We do.

00:05:55.000 Fuck it.

00:05:56.000 Let's go.

00:05:56.000 Okay, let's go.

00:05:57.000 I'll go.

00:05:58.000 Let's go, Ron White.

00:05:59.000 Plus, Bottom of the Barrels tonight, too.

00:06:03.000 Kill Tony was on Netflix last night.

00:06:05.000 Yeah, isn't that amazing?

00:06:06.000 I'm so happy.

00:06:08.000 I'm so happy for Tony and Red Band and for everybody on the show.

00:06:12.000 I'm just so happy that that show is now on Netflix.

00:06:15.000 It's sweet.

00:06:16.000 I always believed in it, and you know that.

00:06:19.000 I always saw something in Tony.

00:06:22.000 I was never sure what exactly it was, but I saw something.

00:06:26.000 This kid works hard.

00:06:29.000 He's got a dream that he's fucking making it work, and he's making it work with hard work.

00:06:35.000 He works hard.

00:06:35.000 He works really hard at that show, man.

00:06:37.000 Really does.

00:06:38.000 I call him in the middle of the day sometimes, and he's just laying out how he's going to do the show.

00:06:42.000 He's planning it.

00:06:44.000 He wandered around his apartment writing notes down, just planning it out in his head.

00:06:49.000 He's legit.

00:06:50.000 He is.

00:06:51.000 This is the thing about success.

00:06:54.000 It's a product of hard work.

00:06:56.000 And in that example, I fucking know it's a product of hard work.

00:07:00.000 Those guys did that show every goddamn Monday for ten plus years.

00:07:05.000 Starting with six people in the crowd.

00:07:07.000 I was one of them.

00:07:09.000 I was there when they were doing the Belly Room show.

00:07:12.000 But I always encouraged it.

00:07:13.000 I encourage people to do shows when no one's watching.

00:07:16.000 Because I think that...

00:07:19.000 You know, the only way something builds is you gotta get it started.

00:07:22.000 You can't think you're gonna launch a podcast and it's gonna have a million downloads.

00:07:25.000 It's not that way.

00:07:27.000 And you don't want it that way anyway.

00:07:28.000 You wanna get good at it.

00:07:30.000 You wanna learn how to do it.

00:07:31.000 You wanna iron out the kinks. 1.00

00:07:32.000 I agree.

00:07:33.000 I agree.

00:07:34.000 And they did it.

00:07:34.000 They fucking did it.

00:07:35.000 They did it, and now it's one of the best shows in the world.

00:07:37.000 It's the funniest fucking show on television, for sure.

00:07:40.000 You know, as far as just a fucking entertaining thing to goddamn do, I mean, just to come down, you know, my last girlfriend was so addicted to the show, she would come almost every Monday, and it's hard for me to go down there on Kill Tony night,

00:07:55.000 because they got the green rooms hocked out to 19,000 people, and there's no place for me to go.

00:08:01.000 Right. And so, you know, but she was addicted to it.

00:08:06.000 I mean, just as something fun to do, you know?

00:08:08.000 It's a fun thing to do, man.

00:08:10.000 Because you're going to get some great comics.

00:08:11.000 And it doesn't matter if the comic eats it on stage because it's still funny.

00:08:16.000 You know, that's not the point.

00:08:18.000 The point is that everybody has access, you know, in some way.

00:08:23.000 And there's no shortcut to get there because I tried to shortcut it because I thought I could because I was Ron White.

00:08:30.000 And my banker said, yeah, I've been doing stand-up and I'd love to get on.

00:08:33.000 I'm like, no problem.

00:08:34.000 I'll tell him.

00:08:35.000 I'll fix this for you.

00:08:37.000 And he was like, yeah, no, you can't.

00:08:41.000 It's a bucket pool.

00:08:43.000 That's the only way he can do it, is to get his name in there.

00:08:46.000 It's a legit bucket bowl.

00:08:47.000 It is.

00:08:47.000 It really is.

00:08:48.000 And sometimes one of our guys gets in, like Ahsan's been on a couple of times now, you know?

00:08:53.000 And sometimes not.

00:08:55.000 You put your name in the bucket.

00:08:57.000 You'll see.

00:08:58.000 There's hundreds of names in that bucket.

00:09:00.000 It's a great idea.

00:09:02.000 It's a great idea.

00:09:03.000 It really is.

00:09:03.000 And it's inclusive to anybody.

00:09:06.000 I mean, it's amazing to me who...

00:09:10.000 He had the vision to put anybody, anybody, no matter what kind of physical shape, you can't even say a word, and handicapped on top of that. 0.99

00:09:21.000 All you have to do is just give it a go.

00:09:23.000 Give it a go.

00:09:24.000 Give it a go.

00:09:25.000 Try to be funny.

00:09:26.000 Do your best.

00:09:27.000 Just do your best.

00:09:28.000 There's a lot of people doing their best.

00:09:30.000 I'm thrilled for the success of it.

00:09:33.000 It's incredible.

00:09:33.000 Yeah, it really is.

00:09:34.000 It's fun, too.

00:09:35.000 It makes everything more fun.

00:09:37.000 When there's a fun thing like that out there in the world, more of us have fun.

00:09:42.000 We have more fun at the clubs.

00:09:43.000 We have more fun talking about comedy.

00:09:46.000 Yeah, and it made me really proud, too, just to walk out on stage, and it's you and Shane and Segura and Tony, and these are my friends.

00:09:59.000 You know, these are my buddies.

00:10:00.000 This is my tribe right here, and we're doing something really special, and it's a fucking hoot.

00:10:06.000 It is a fucking hoot.

00:10:08.000 It's a fucking hoot.

00:10:09.000 Yeah, and that club's the best place for it.

00:10:12.000 I had a nightmare the other night.

00:10:15.000 Oh, no.

00:10:15.000 Yeah, and it was about the club.

00:10:17.000 Oh, no.

00:10:18.000 And that I was the headliner that night.

00:10:22.000 And I got down there, and there were like nine 11-year-old girls, and that's all the tickets we could sell.

00:10:28.000 And I was like, did you tell them I was coming?

00:10:30.000 Yeah, we put it in the thing, and nobody showed up, Ron, except for these chicks. 1.00

00:10:35.000 If I was your psychiatrist, I'd sit down and go, Ron, what do you think this means to you?

00:10:40.000 What inside of your subconscious makes you think that only...

00:10:47.000 Eleven-year-old girls would come to see you do comedies.

00:10:50.000 That's because for 38 years I've been waiting for the end.

00:10:53.000 You know?

00:10:54.000 And it finally happened that night in the middle of that dream.

00:10:57.000 See? I knew it would happen.

00:10:59.000 I knew it.

00:10:59.000 You think like that and it drives me crazy.

00:11:00.000 I don't understand how you can think like that.

00:11:02.000 I just always have because, you know, it never works as good as it worked for me.

00:11:08.000 You know?

00:11:08.000 I mean, it's worked okay for you.

00:11:10.000 But, I mean, you know, these kind of careers don't last forever.

00:11:15.000 Unless they do, and there's not very many of them that do, you know, last fucking four decades.

00:11:21.000 It's a different world now, Ron.

00:11:23.000 I think they do last now.

00:11:24.000 I guess so.

00:11:26.000 I think the thing that was going on before was everybody thought you did comedy to get to something.

00:11:33.000 He did comedy to get to the movies.

00:11:35.000 He did comedy to get to TV.

00:11:36.000 And if you didn't, then you were a failure.

00:11:39.000 And you thought of yourself as a failure and other people thought of you as a failure too.

00:11:43.000 And that would diminish your confidence.

00:11:45.000 That would diminish your draw.

00:11:47.000 And only a few people survived that and escaped.

00:11:49.000 And a lot of great comics, like Richard Jenny, for instance, he got caught up in that and felt like he was a failure and a loser and wound up fucking killing himself.

00:11:58.000 Meanwhile, he was one of the greatest comics that's ever lived.

00:12:01.000 He just missed the boat.

00:12:02.000 He missed the internet boat.

00:12:04.000 He would have been fucking...

00:12:05.000 Yeah, but I missed it too.

00:12:06.000 You didn't though.

00:12:07.000 But you didn't.

00:12:08.000 You didn't miss it.

00:12:09.000 You didn't.

00:12:09.000 You caught us.

00:12:11.000 You caught the whole wave, brother.

00:12:13.000 You came to the coffee store at the right time.

00:12:14.000 I did catch a great wave.

00:12:17.000 And it's great for all of us.

00:12:20.000 We all know each other.

00:12:21.000 It's great for all of us.

00:12:23.000 There's no more, you know, waves, like, in terms of, like, your career's gonna die off.

00:12:28.000 Your career's dependent entirely on your work, and your work's never been better.

00:12:33.000 No, I don't think it has.

00:12:35.000 It's never been better.

00:12:35.000 You're on fire right now.

00:12:36.000 You were killing it the other night.

00:12:38.000 We were in the green room, and we were watching from the balcony, fucking howling.

00:12:42.000 It's great.

00:12:43.000 It's great.

00:12:44.000 There's no reason it shouldn't be great.

00:12:46.000 Like, you've been doing it forever.

00:12:47.000 You love doing it.

00:12:48.000 You're passionate about it.

00:12:50.000 You work hard.

00:12:50.000 You're always writing.

00:12:51.000 Of course it's great.

00:12:53.000 And it's fun, you know?

00:12:55.000 It's the best.

00:12:56.000 I don't think there's any environment that's more conducive to getting chops.

00:13:02.000 I mean, that really is a gem to me and everybody there.

00:13:09.000 Just getting better.

00:13:10.000 And it's that fucking stage time.

00:13:11.000 There's no fucking substitute for stage time.

00:13:14.000 No substitute.

00:13:14.000 Stage time and a good tribe.

00:13:17.000 Yeah. You gotta have that.

00:13:20.000 Because everybody's killing it.

00:13:21.000 Like, when I see Hasan up there killing it, I'm like, ooh, let's go.

00:13:24.000 I get excited.

00:13:25.000 Everybody's killing it.

00:13:26.000 It's come a long way.

00:13:27.000 A long way.

00:13:28.000 And you see these guys, like Ari Matty, these young guys coming up.

00:13:31.000 You see all these people.

00:13:32.000 Cam Patterson on Kill Tony Monday Night was on fire.

00:13:36.000 On fire.

00:13:36.000 You see the growth.

00:13:37.000 You see these guys emerging.

00:13:39.000 And you're like, this is incredible.

00:13:41.000 We're so lucky.

00:13:43.000 We have the luckiest job in the luckiest place in the world.

00:13:47.000 I think so, man.

00:13:48.000 And if I was a young comic now, I would go to Austin, Texas.

00:13:52.000 100%. Because there's just all that stage time.

00:13:55.000 And you don't actually automatically get to go to the mothership, but that can be your goal.

00:14:00.000 You can get in there, man.

00:14:02.000 You can get in there if you're good.

00:14:03.000 You can get in there if you're good.

00:14:04.000 There's a lot of guys get in there.

00:14:05.000 A lot of women get in there. 1.00

00:14:07.000 A lot of non-binary people.

00:14:09.000 All you have to do is just be good.

00:14:11.000 There's showcases all the time.

00:14:13.000 Adam's picking people all the time.

00:14:15.000 People see you.

00:14:16.000 If you're funny, your shit's on the internet.

00:14:17.000 It's like, the path has never been clearer now for a young comic.

00:14:21.000 I mean, when I was young, starting out, it was like, how do you do this?

00:14:25.000 How do you get on stage?

00:14:26.000 How do you get a manager?

00:14:27.000 How do you get paid?

00:14:28.000 How do you do...

00:14:29.000 Right. You know, now it's like, it's kind of laid out.

00:14:32.000 It is.

00:14:33.000 And there are people also hanging around, like me, that have been through all this stuff before, you know.

00:14:40.000 The growth spot to know how to get better, you know, because I was like you.

00:14:44.000 There was no direction.

00:14:45.000 There was nobody giving advice.

00:14:47.000 There was, you know, you just looked at it and went, okay, I'll try this.

00:14:53.000 Yeah, let's see.

00:14:54.000 Well, you made it late in life, too.

00:14:57.000 You know, that's probably why you have this thing in your head.

00:15:01.000 Because Blue Collar was like, how old were you when that tour kicked off?

00:15:05.000 45, I think.

00:15:06.000 Yeah, see, that's why.

00:15:08.000 That's the thing.

00:15:09.000 You know who else had that same sort of feel?

00:15:12.000 Phil Hartman.

00:15:13.000 Phil Hartman didn't get on Saturday Night Live.

00:15:16.000 I think he was 36. That was his first break.

00:15:20.000 36? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

00:15:23.000 Now, did he do stand-up also, or is he a comedic actor?

00:15:26.000 He was going to.

00:15:27.000 He would do some stand-up to warm up the crowd sometimes.

00:15:31.000 Oh, okay.

00:15:32.000 And he would fuck around.

00:15:32.000 And he and I talked about it, and I said...

00:15:35.000 Anytime you want to do it, I go, I'll take you to the store.

00:15:37.000 I go, you can get on stage.

00:15:39.000 I go, you don't need a lot of time.

00:15:41.000 You just, like, put together five minutes.

00:15:42.000 I'll help you.

00:15:43.000 I know you could do it.

00:15:44.000 And he had some really funny impressions.

00:15:46.000 He had a really funny Bill Clinton impression.

00:15:48.000 Right. He was a funny fucking dude.

00:15:50.000 And a hard worker.

00:15:51.000 You want to talk about a hard worker?

00:15:52.000 That dude used to make me...

00:15:54.000 Everybody felt like they weren't a professional when they were on that guy.

00:15:58.000 Because he would have, like, tabs and shit, a notebook, where all the scenes were.

00:16:02.000 Everything was organized.

00:16:04.000 Yeah. I already feel unprofessional.

00:16:06.000 While he was doing that, he was also trying to take his pilot's license.

00:16:09.000 In between scenes, you'd be reading airplane books.

00:16:13.000 Jesus Christ.

00:16:14.000 What a fucking tragedy, man.

00:16:16.000 What a fucking tragedy.

00:16:17.000 Oh, bro, you don't know the half of it.

00:16:19.000 I tried to get him to divorce her a long time ago.

00:16:23.000 I told him, like, right when he was struggling, I said, man, just give her half.

00:16:28.000 Just get out.

00:16:28.000 You'll make more money.

00:16:30.000 And he was like, well, it's not half.

00:16:31.000 It's a scam.

00:16:32.000 The lawyers get a third.

00:16:34.000 It's a third.

00:16:35.000 You get a third of your fucking money.

00:16:37.000 Okay, okay, okay.

00:16:38.000 Just give her the money. 1.00

00:16:39.000 Just give her the money. 1.00

00:16:40.000 Money is fun coupons.

00:16:42.000 If you're having money and you're not having fun, you gotta cut something off.

00:16:48.000 You gotta figure out where's the cancer?

00:16:52.000 Hack it off.

00:16:54.000 Hack off that melanoma and let's get this party rolling.

00:16:57.000 You shouldn't be involved with someone that you hate.

00:17:00.000 That's crazy.

00:17:01.000 You come home to someone who hates you.

00:17:03.000 That's crazy.

00:17:04.000 That is insane.

00:17:05.000 That's crazy.

00:17:06.000 And I've been in bad relationships before that I cut off.

00:17:10.000 Of course.

00:17:11.000 And then all of a sudden you can breathe again.

00:17:14.000 You're a different person when you're in a bad relationship.

00:17:17.000 You're bad too.

00:17:18.000 Like, you're not your best.

00:17:20.000 Just like a bad friendship.

00:17:22.000 Like, you're not the best friend if your friend is a cocksucker. 1.00

00:17:25.000 You know, you're good friends with good friends.

00:17:28.000 Like, we all inspire each other.

00:17:30.000 And if you got a one-way street, or if you are one of those unfortunate people that hooked up with a hot lunatic... 0.53

00:17:37.000 Because that's the problem.

00:17:38.000 You've got a hot lunatic. 1.00

00:17:40.000 Right. And they're sexy and they're fun for short bursts of a few hours at a time.

00:17:46.000 And then you're like, oh my God, this person is in my life.

00:17:49.000 And if you move in with them, oh Christ.

00:17:51.000 I know.

00:17:52.000 And if you have kids with them, oh Christ.

00:17:53.000 And if you're married to them, oh Christ.

00:17:55.000 You married a hot lunatic. 1.00

00:17:57.000 The hole gets deeper and deeper and deeper.

00:18:01.000 This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats.

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00:18:17.000 Catamaran, that's a no.

00:18:18.000 Lemon meringue, that's a yes.

00:18:20.000 A day in the sun, no.

00:18:21.000 A bottle of rum, yes.

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00:18:38.000 You know, you're Johnny Depp and you're on TV.

00:18:40.000 Yeah. And you're in the court.

00:18:42.000 With the whole thing falling to fucking pieces.

00:18:44.000 The whole thing falling to pieces in front of the whole world.

00:18:46.000 Because you married a hot lunatic. 1.00

00:18:47.000 And that's the thing about symmetry and beauty and women who are sexy. 1.00

00:18:52.000 They just can trick you.

00:18:54.000 And men are so easily tricked.

00:18:57.000 They're so vulnerable.

00:18:58.000 Oh, I'm the worst.

00:18:59.000 It's so easy to lead me down a road.

00:19:02.000 I'll just sniff my way.

00:19:04.000 Oh, this is bliss.

00:19:05.000 I'm in love.

00:19:07.000 We're gonna elope.

00:19:08.000 Fuck it.

00:19:09.000 I don't care about my money.

00:19:14.000 Yeah, she used to, like, insult him at parties and shit, Phil Hartman's wife. 1.00

00:19:18.000 It was really rough.

00:19:20.000 I remember we all went to this party once, like some industry-type party, and she was insulting him, and I was like, oh, I just had to bite my tongue, which I'm not very good at, you know.

00:19:32.000 No. Fuck no.

00:19:51.000 Fuck no.

00:19:52.000 He had kids with her?

00:19:58.000 Mm-hmm.

00:19:58.000 Yeah. Oh, fuck.

00:20:00.000 Yeah. Yeah.

00:20:02.000 What a horrible fucking story.

00:20:05.000 Did I ever tell you the story about, like, the worst I ever bombed on stage right after that?

00:20:10.000 Like, easily the worst I've ever bombed on stage.

00:20:13.000 Did I ever tell you this story?

00:20:14.000 I've never seen you bomb on stage.

00:20:16.000 I was at the gas station, and I was getting gas.

00:20:19.000 It was two weeks after he was murdered, and it was the first time I was going to go on stage again because everyone was wrecked.

00:20:25.000 I didn't even know, like, how long it would take before I felt like I could do comedy again.

00:20:31.000 So I'm at the gas station, getting gas, and just randomly run into a buddy of mine who's a cop.

00:20:37.000 And I go, hey, what's up?

00:20:39.000 What's going on, man?

00:20:39.000 He's like, how you doing?

00:20:40.000 You doing okay?

00:20:42.000 I'm like, man, we're all fucked up, you know?

00:20:45.000 And he goes, did I tell you that I was there?

00:20:47.000 I go, no.

00:20:48.000 You were there?

00:20:49.000 He goes, dude.

00:20:50.000 What? He goes, I was there when the kids ran from the mom.

00:20:56.000 I go, what do you mean?

00:20:58.000 He's like, after she killed herself, she barricaded herself in the bathroom.

00:21:02.000 Excuse me, after she killed Phil Hartman, she barricaded herself in the bathroom and she had the kids in there with her with a gun. 0.99

00:21:10.000 And a lot of times when moms kill themselves, they'll kill their kids too. 1.00

00:21:16.000 And the cops saw that and so they kicked open the door.

00:21:20.000 And when they kicked open the door, the kids ran from the mom.

00:21:24.000 The kids ran out of the bathroom and then the mom blew her brains out. 1.00

00:21:30.000 Fuck, I forgot about that part of it.

00:21:33.000 I mean, I forgot that she killed herself.

00:21:36.000 I'm seeing my friend at the gas station right before I go on stage.

00:21:40.000 I'm going on stage in about 45 minutes.

00:21:42.000 Half hour drive to the comedy store.

00:21:45.000 15 minutes before I'm going to go on stage.

00:21:48.000 And this is my face.

00:21:50.000 I'm just like, there's nothing funny in the world.

00:21:53.000 There's nothing funny in the world.

00:21:56.000 And then after I recovered, you know, I took like another week off and then I came back and I was like, he would just, he just wanted me to keep going.

00:22:06.000 I had a dream about him once.

00:22:08.000 It was like the most realistic dream I've ever had about anybody in my life.

00:22:12.000 Ever in my life.

00:22:13.000 He was sitting on a lawn chair and I ran into him and I was like, How are you doing?

00:22:20.000 What are you doing?

00:22:21.000 And he's like, oh, I'm fine.

00:22:23.000 He goes, we made up.

00:22:26.000 He goes, it was a lot.

00:22:28.000 He goes, obviously we had a lot to work out and he laughed about it.

00:22:33.000 And I said, well, that's great, man.

00:22:36.000 And then he pushed the chair back and he was gone.

00:22:41.000 And then I woke up.

00:22:43.000 He was gone.

00:22:44.000 It was the...

00:22:47.000 I've had two very realistic dreams in my life that seemed so realistic they didn't even make sense.

00:22:53.000 That was one of them.

00:22:55.000 Where it was like, I felt like he was there.

00:22:58.000 I didn't feel like he wanted me to let it go.

00:23:02.000 It was so weird.

00:23:03.000 I felt like, you know, he wanted...

00:23:08.000 It's like, that's how he was whenever they would fight.

00:23:14.000 I'm not...

00:23:16.000 I don't like fights, which sounds crazy because I commentate on fights, but I don't like conflict.

00:23:23.000 I wish it didn't exist.

00:23:26.000 The reason why I got good at fighting, like martial arts, is because I was scared of conflict.

00:23:30.000 I don't like it.

00:23:32.000 I understand it, but I don't think it's necessary.

00:23:35.000 And I don't think fighting in a relationship, I think that's the worst.

00:23:39.000 The people that get in these relationships, they scream and yell at each other and call each other horrible names.

00:23:45.000 But with a lot of people, it becomes this cycle of getting mad at each other and then making up.

00:23:51.000 And then the making up sex is very addictive to a lot of people.

00:23:55.000 It's a different kind of thing.

00:23:57.000 And you get on this weird rollercoaster ride of I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you.

00:24:01.000 And he was on that rollercoaster ride.

00:24:04.000 And he was letting me know.

00:24:06.000 It just went too far.

00:24:07.000 It went crazy.

00:24:09.000 I lived in Mexico for a while with a...

00:24:12.000 With a woman who eventually took her own life.

00:24:15.000 I mean, I was already out of the picture for a couple of years when that happened, but when I was in Mexico with her, I knew that I was trapped, number one.

00:24:29.000 I moved down there to start a fucking pottery company because I was frustrated with stand-up comedy.

00:24:35.000 The Funny Bone chain had just cut my pay by a third because they realized that I just worked for them.

00:24:43.000 And I couldn't patch this schedule together without them.

00:24:47.000 Oh, what a bunch of assholes.

00:24:48.000 And I told the guy that ran the Funny Bone, Gerald Kubach, to go eat a steaming bowl of fuck.

00:24:58.000 I don't even know what that would look like.

00:25:01.000 I don't know.

00:25:02.000 It cost me a lot of work to say it, but it was still fun to say.

00:25:06.000 Wow. But I moved with her down to Mexico, and I knew that she was crazy. 1.00

00:25:13.000 And the way it came up was she had called a friend of mine.

00:25:19.000 And told her that sometimes she stands over my bed with a knife and just stares at me.

00:25:24.000 And my son was there also part of the time.

00:25:28.000 And I'm like, well, that's over.

00:25:30.000 I got to get out of this.

00:25:31.000 But the big thing was I was depressed because of my situation.

00:25:37.000 Because I didn't see a way out of it.

00:25:39.000 I didn't see a way out.

00:25:41.000 I just couldn't see.

00:25:43.000 I just couldn't see a path.

00:25:44.000 And it got to where...

00:25:48.000 Wow. It was

00:26:18.000 funny because I moved into Mexico.

00:26:20.000 I had the biggest truck that Ryder makes pulling the biggest trailer they make.

00:26:25.000 My van pulling the biggest trailer they make.

00:26:28.000 All headed down south.

00:26:29.000 All your shit.

00:26:30.000 Everything moved to Mexico.

00:26:32.000 Why Mexico?

00:26:33.000 Because my girlfriend at the time did this mosaic tile application to existing pottery. 0.99

00:26:42.000 And she would sell it at...

00:26:44.000 Art shows or craft shows, you know, whatever.

00:26:48.000 And it would sell really fast, but it took her six months to make any of it.

00:26:52.000 So I thought, why wouldn't you just go down to Mexico and train a bunch of women how to make it and let her orchestrate it? 1.00

00:26:59.000 And I fucking did it.

00:27:01.000 I was part of that sucking sound that Ross Perot was talking about going to Mexico.

00:27:07.000 Three years later, I had the exact same equipment headed north out of Mexico with the same exact truck, trailer, everything.

00:27:17.000 That was a bad idea.

00:27:19.000 Three years?

00:27:20.000 Wow. She must have been hot. 1.00

00:27:23.000 Oh, she was so hot. 0.95

00:27:25.000 Oh, she was so hot. 0.95

00:27:27.000 And I'd never been with a hot woman before. 0.99

00:27:29.000 I mean, it was my girl, you know?

00:27:32.000 Yeah. And she was just so beautiful.

00:27:36.000 I'm like, I'll be with her even though I hate her, just so I can look at her.

00:27:42.000 I'll just stare at her and that'll be enough.

00:27:45.000 That's all I'll need.

00:27:46.000 Turns out I needed a little more than that.

00:27:49.000 You can only tolerate so much.

00:27:52.000 And then I ended up marrying this other girl that was horrible.

00:27:56.000 I mean, I know she's probably listening to this right now, so I don't mean horrible, but horrible.

00:28:03.000 But she always searched the internet for things about me so she could say, hey, this person said thanks for signing my girlfriend's tickets.

00:28:11.000 What, are you out there signing girlfriend's tickets? 0.87

00:28:14.000 Yeah, I'll sign anybody's ticket.

00:28:16.000 You know, just always looking.

00:28:18.000 Every time she'd turn on her computer, it'd make me sick to my stomach because I didn't know what she was going to come up with.

00:28:22.000 You know, I'm no angel anyway.

00:28:25.000 But so that girl's sister, when she killed herself, sent me A post that my ex-wife found.

00:28:36.000 She printed it saying that she'd killed herself.

00:28:39.000 She brought it in and handed it to me.

00:28:41.000 And all I did was sit down on the couch and she goes, oh, now you loved her.

00:28:48.000 I'm like, just give me a minute, okay?

00:28:50.000 This is her sister doing this to you? 0.91

00:28:52.000 No, this is my wife. 0.99

00:28:54.000 She got the letter from her sister and handed it to me.

00:28:58.000 And she saw it affected me.

00:28:59.000 Oh, now you loved her.

00:29:02.000 Jesus Christ.

00:29:03.000 What are you supposed to do?

00:29:05.000 A lady that you used to live with killed herself.

00:29:08.000 Yeah. What the fuck?

00:29:10.000 Yeah, just give me a minute.

00:29:11.000 Give me a minute.

00:29:12.000 Yeah, give me a minute.

00:29:13.000 Jesus, it's a human being that you know that killed themselves.

00:29:17.000 How many people do you think you know that have killed themselves?

00:29:21.000 Oh, man.

00:29:23.000 Let's see.

00:29:24.000 Not very many that I really knew.

00:29:30.000 My best friend, one of my best friends from childhood, killed himself.

00:29:35.000 But we thought he died at the massacre in Waco because he was a big Koresh guy. 1.00

00:29:42.000 Oh, boy.

00:29:42.000 You missed the massacre?

00:29:44.000 Yeah, he missed the massacre.

00:29:45.000 But we thought maybe he's there when it was all going down.

00:29:49.000 But he wasn't.

00:29:51.000 And eventually, it was an odd thing anyway.

00:29:54.000 He was a dear friend from childhood.

00:30:00.000 Dad was the music director at my church and he and I used to buff the floors of the church with those big bluffs.

00:30:07.000 That was our job on one day a week that we'd go down there.

00:30:12.000 And we'd actually sing Neil Young songs to the top of our lungs.

00:30:16.000 We'd just sing the fuck out of Neil Young songs.

00:30:23.000 That was the only tape I had.

00:30:24.000 I know you and him had a little problem.

00:30:26.000 I don't have no problem with him.

00:30:28.000 I know, you were so sweet about that.

00:30:29.000 I love that guy.

00:30:30.000 I love his music.

00:30:33.000 He just didn't get it.

00:30:35.000 No, he didn't.

00:30:35.000 That's all it is.

00:30:37.000 That was a dumb thing.

00:30:38.000 Well, he just missed, he didn't understand what was happening.

00:30:40.000 And nobody did.

00:30:41.000 I don't blame him.

00:30:43.000 Nobody did.

00:30:44.000 I'd talk to him in a heartbeat.

00:30:46.000 Even though he pulled his music and tried to get me removed from Spotify.

00:30:50.000 Right. I still don't care.

00:30:53.000 I love that guy.

00:30:54.000 And I loved his music.

00:30:55.000 Even after he did it, I still listened to his music.

00:30:59.000 He just got, he missed, he didn't know what was happening.

00:31:01.000 He got tricked.

00:31:03.000 A lot of people got tricked.

00:31:04.000 You know?

00:31:05.000 A lot of people thought that this was the only way out.

00:31:09.000 We had to listen to these evil, lying fucks that were telling us that everybody had to take this vaccine, there was no other medicine available, and if you didn't, everybody was going to die.

00:31:20.000 And, you know, he got caught up in it.

00:31:24.000 They got us all, though.

00:31:25.000 They got the whole country.

00:31:26.000 You can't be mad at the whole country.

00:31:28.000 That's crazy.

00:31:29.000 Right. I don't want to be mad at anybody anymore, Ron White.

00:31:32.000 I don't either.

00:31:33.000 As I get older, I'm less and less inclined.

00:31:36.000 There's people I don't wish to talk to.

00:31:39.000 I don't need that in my life.

00:31:41.000 I don't need whatever you bring in my life, but I don't wish you bad.

00:31:46.000 Yeah, I have really, really healthy boundaries when it comes to people that don't make me feel good.

00:31:51.000 I just won't hang around.

00:31:54.000 Yeah, I don't want to be around them and confront them.

00:31:56.000 Who cares?

00:31:57.000 Good luck to you.

00:31:58.000 I'll give you a hug.

00:31:59.000 I got some other shit going on.

00:32:01.000 Yeah, I have friends.

00:32:02.000 But you know what?

00:32:03.000 I'll tell you what makes you a good friend.

00:32:05.000 When you get successful, and I'll just talk about successful like I am, it's hard to find anybody that'll disagree with you.

00:32:15.000 You know, because there's something to gain.

00:32:20.000 And that's true with you, too.

00:32:22.000 I mean, you hold a lot of power.

00:32:26.000 You have something a lot of people fucking want.

00:32:30.000 And I know that because I have a box of...

00:32:34.000 And I should have brought them and given them to you anyway.

00:32:36.000 I'll bring them to the club tonight.

00:32:37.000 But it's just a guy I met that owns a sunglass company.

00:32:41.000 And he makes sunglasses for hunting.

00:32:44.000 Wait a minute.

00:32:45.000 Who wears sunglasses when they hunt?

00:32:49.000 I don't know.

00:32:51.000 Nobody? You can't wear them when...

00:32:55.000 Well, I guess maybe some people probably do.

00:32:57.000 I bet rifle hunters do.

00:32:59.000 Yeah, they...

00:33:00.000 He said that one of them were specifically for bow hunting.

00:33:03.000 It makes you see the target better or something.

00:33:06.000 Oh, interesting.

00:33:06.000 Okay. So he's got an invention.

00:33:09.000 Um... You know, I don't know...

00:33:11.000 I don't hunt, so I don't really know anything about hunting in glasses.

00:33:15.000 He just said he was going to send a box.

00:33:16.000 Would you give them to Joe?

00:33:17.000 And I said, yeah, I'll give them to him.

00:33:19.000 And I didn't.

00:33:22.000 I would think the glasses would get in the way because, you know, when you shoot with a bow, there's a thing called a peep sight.

00:33:29.000 So you have your string, and in your string is one of the things that's sewn into your string is this little plastic circle.

00:33:36.000 Sure. Do you know what it is?

00:33:38.000 Yeah. Okay, so you know it lines up with the scope, the housing of the bow?

00:33:41.000 No. I don't know that.

00:33:42.000 So with a peep sight is when you draw back, and you don't look through the string, you look through the circle that's on the string.

00:33:48.000 It's sewed into the string.

00:33:49.000 And that circle, you line it up exactly with your sight housing.

00:33:53.000 And so where your pin is, it's all about staying calm and keeping that pin there, and you want to keep it all connected together.

00:34:01.000 So my eye is right there, right next to this peep sight.

00:34:08.000 If I had glasses, it might get in the way.

00:34:10.000 You know what I mean?

00:34:11.000 Because the string is touching my nose, and the thing is right there.

00:34:15.000 And I'm just drawing back, and I'm looking at it like that, right through it.

00:34:20.000 I'll give them to you, see what you think.

00:34:21.000 I don't know anybody who shoots, but I know some hunters that have glasses, so there must be a way to adjust.

00:34:26.000 I don't know.

00:34:27.000 I don't know.

00:34:28.000 That's what he told me, though.

00:34:29.000 Okay. I'll try it out.

00:34:30.000 All right.

00:34:31.000 I'm open to anything.

00:34:32.000 You never know.

00:34:32.000 And anything that makes you good at that, that's a fucking difficult thing to do.

00:34:38.000 You know?

00:34:39.000 I meet a guy and he's like, I'm a bow hunter.

00:34:41.000 I'm like, oh, okay.

00:34:42.000 Oh, anyway, what I'm saying is this.

00:34:45.000 Go ahead.

00:34:46.000 What I'm saying is this.

00:34:47.000 That you're one of the only friends that I have that'll say, no, that's fucked up, Ron.

00:34:56.000 You don't agree with me to make me feel better because I have something you need.

00:35:02.000 You'll go ahead and go, nah.

00:35:05.000 Every now and then.

00:35:07.000 This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

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00:36:33.000 Well, that green room's great for that.

00:36:35.000 Because everybody knows that everybody loves everybody, so everybody can just talk openly about anything.

00:36:42.000 You know?

00:36:42.000 And if you have some dumb argument with someone, someone will come in and go, eh, I think he's right.

00:36:48.000 Yeah. And you gotta go, oh.

00:36:52.000 Really? Okay.

00:36:54.000 Let me think about it.

00:36:56.000 You need that in your life.

00:36:57.000 You don't want to be a tyrant.

00:37:00.000 That's what happens to a lot of successful people.

00:37:02.000 They get real insecure and so they become kind of a tyrant and they don't want to listen to anybody else.

00:37:07.000 You see that with people that are on shows and they run the show.

00:37:11.000 The show's all about them.

00:37:12.000 They're the show.

00:37:15.000 They're the producer and executive producer and the cast all kisses their ass and they're at the top of the fucking...

00:37:21.000 Casting call or whatever it is.

00:37:22.000 The call sheet.

00:37:24.000 Yeah, it's a bad place to be.

00:37:26.000 You don't want to be there.

00:37:27.000 Don't do it.

00:37:29.000 Don't do it.

00:37:31.000 You just, you got to resist the urge.

00:37:35.000 So I went back to my ayahuasca place down in Costa Rica.

00:37:47.000 So I went four years ago, right?

00:37:52.000 And that's when I quit drinking.

00:37:54.000 Right. Which you know I did.

00:37:56.000 Yeah. You know I quit drinking.

00:37:57.000 I quit too.

00:37:59.000 When? A month ago.

00:38:01.000 I knew that you weren't drinking.

00:38:03.000 Yeah, I just stopped drinking.

00:38:04.000 I didn't know that it was a...

00:38:06.000 Yeah, I think I'm done.

00:38:08.000 Yeah. For no reason other than it's not good for you.

00:38:12.000 Yeah. No, I didn't have to.

00:38:14.000 I enjoyed it.

00:38:15.000 Right. No, you were having a good time.

00:38:17.000 I was watching.

00:38:17.000 But the days after drinking were just too rough.

00:38:22.000 And I'm like, what kind of a moron who takes so good care of his body is poisoning himself a couple of days a week for fun?

00:38:30.000 Why am I doing that?

00:38:31.000 And then I'm like, well, will I have the same amount of fun if I don't poison myself?

00:38:34.000 Turns out, yes.

00:38:35.000 Exactly. Right.

00:38:37.000 Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat.

00:38:39.000 I mean, you haven't quit everything, right?

00:38:42.000 Exactly. And I'm just skinning the cat a different way.

00:38:45.000 Tell me about your cat.

00:38:46.000 Well, I'm going to play some Icaros.

00:38:47.000 Did they play those while you went through the...

00:38:49.000 There we go.

00:38:51.000 Jamie's got them already.

00:38:53.000 So what's that?

00:38:55.000 This is the songs that a lot of the shaman like to play while you're tripping balls.

00:39:00.000 Oh, okay.

00:39:00.000 And if they play this song while you're under the influence...

00:39:04.000 The hallucination will dance to the songs.

00:39:09.000 Oh, wow.

00:39:10.000 There's certain songs you're like, I don't get it.

00:39:12.000 Like the Grateful Dead.

00:39:13.000 I've never been on acid at a Dead concert.

00:39:15.000 But they say, if you are, you get it.

00:39:19.000 So I'm missing that part.

00:39:22.000 Right. So to me, it's just this jam music, which is fine, but I'd rather listen to Skynyrd.

00:39:28.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:29.000 I saw Skynyrd Sunday night.

00:39:33.000 The original Skinner.

00:39:34.000 The real Skinner.

00:39:35.000 Before the plane crashed.

00:39:36.000 No, I'm just saying.

00:39:37.000 These guys are putting a show together.

00:39:39.000 I'm sure.

00:39:40.000 Ricky Medlock playing Alan Collins' play.

00:39:45.000 They have two other guitar players.

00:39:47.000 But it is a band.

00:39:49.000 I mean, they are nailing this shit.

00:39:51.000 I had tears coming out of my eyes during fucking Freebird for a lot of reasons.

00:39:56.000 Number one, I saw him in 73. Me and Steve Cook, who was my best friend until the day he died.

00:40:03.000 And Ronnie Van Zandt was lighting joints and he was handing them out into the crowd.

00:40:09.000 Well, me and Steve had worked our way up to the front.

00:40:11.000 He handed one of them to me and everybody else was taking a hit.

00:40:14.000 I just stuck it in my pocket and went in the bathroom and smoked it because it was illegal then.

00:40:21.000 And I was listening to Skip.

00:40:23.000 Sunday night, I'm at the Skinner show.

00:40:25.000 There's cops where I was, and there was outhouses right next to it where you go through this fence.

00:40:30.000 And I told my girlfriend, I'll be right back.

00:40:32.000 I was over there.

00:40:33.000 I was in the outhouse smoking a joint, listening to Skinner, and I'm like, well, I haven't changed much in 50 fucking years.

00:40:39.000 The exact same thing.

00:40:42.000 Some songs, people just nail it, and it stays great forever.

00:40:47.000 You never get tired of Free Bird.

00:40:49.000 That guitar solo?

00:40:50.000 Yeah. And they just fucking hammered it home.

00:40:54.000 I mean, it was so good.

00:40:55.000 Oh, nice.

00:40:56.000 That it was just, I couldn't believe it, you know?

00:40:58.000 I brought them on stage at the Greek one time, maybe 20 years ago or 15 years ago, I don't know.

00:41:07.000 And it was fun because I got to say that when I was 16 years old, we were at the Skinner Show, and we had taken enough mushrooms to kill an average teenager, but we weren't average teenagers.

00:41:21.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Leonard Skinner!

00:41:23.000 It was great fun.

00:41:24.000 That's cool.

00:41:26.000 And so it kind of brought back all those memories, you know, and then watching him play it again.

00:41:31.000 It's weird because, especially when I come back from Arrhythmia, which is my place out there, I always come back emotional.

00:41:38.000 Right. And kind of full of love and forgiveness and those kinds of things.

00:41:46.000 That's kind of what I learned from those hallucinogens.

00:41:50.000 Yeah. Isn't it crazy that that's illegal?

00:41:54.000 Yeah, to feel good.

00:41:56.000 You've got to go to another country to be a better person.

00:42:01.000 You've got to leave the land of the free.

00:42:05.000 Right. Leave the land of freedom to go to another country that's much more lawless and take in the divine.

00:42:15.000 And come back a better person.

00:42:16.000 And it's crazy.

00:42:17.000 And I don't think it's for everybody.

00:42:20.000 I'm not somebody out there just going, yeah, you got to do this.

00:42:25.000 Because I think you have to be open to some things.

00:42:27.000 You have to be open to, hey, maybe I'm wrong about everything.

00:42:31.000 Maybe there is...

00:42:33.000 If you're not open to it, you'll get hit hard.

00:42:36.000 And that's why it's not for everybody.

00:42:38.000 Because I've seen people wig down there.

00:42:42.000 Which is why...

00:42:44.000 I know you can get ayahuasca locally and have people that are, I don't know where they got their shaman title from, but you can do it here.

00:42:55.000 But I know that there, it's a licensed medical facility with doctors.

00:43:01.000 It's the only one in the world that's a licensed medical facility.

00:43:05.000 And they're prepared when people wig. 0.72

00:43:09.000 They know what to do.

00:43:11.000 They don't hold you down?

00:43:12.000 Yeah, and they do, too.

00:43:14.000 They'll fucking bind you up and wait till it's clear because they know that you're at a point in this that you're going through some heavy shit.

00:43:23.000 One of them was an NFL player last time I was there.

00:43:26.000 This guy was fucking huge.

00:43:28.000 Plays for Buffalo.

00:43:30.000 And I was like, God, if you had to pick somebody to wig, you would say, please don't let it be that fucking dude.

00:43:39.000 Did he wig?

00:43:39.000 He wigged.

00:43:40.000 Oh no!

00:43:41.000 He wigged big time.

00:43:43.000 Oh no.

00:43:44.000 And started just screaming, get the fuck away from me!

00:43:48.000 Oh no.

00:43:49.000 Which will, you know, that kind of, you know, you got 70 people in this room that are tripping and so.

00:43:55.000 Oh no, what a bummer.

00:43:57.000 And it was.

00:43:58.000 But, they got big guys too.

00:44:03.000 And so they just got him out of the room, got him calmed down, and he didn't leave.

00:44:08.000 You know, he just, he was going through some shit.

00:44:12.000 The first time I went there, this girl from Japan started kicking and screaming and they took her outside and they had to fucking subdue her. 1.00

00:44:23.000 But at the end of the day, the person with the biggest smile on their face was her.

00:44:30.000 Because she worked through some shit that I can't even talk about that I happen to know what it was, but it ain't worth knowing.

00:44:37.000 But she found pure fucking joy and peace in her life and you could see it in her face.

00:44:45.000 And I was wondering why when she was wigging out, why is nobody flipping out but me?

00:44:50.000 Because the people that worked there weren't flipping out at all because they've seen it.

00:44:54.000 Yeah. And there's nothing they haven't seen.

00:44:56.000 There's been 18,000 people through that facility, and so they've seen it all.

00:45:00.000 Right. But they just know how to handle it.

00:45:04.000 Well, I wonder if you're just in some mansion in Beverly Hills or whatever, if there's somebody there that knows how to handle it.

00:45:11.000 Probably not.

00:45:14.000 Especially if you don't know what you're going to get hit with.

00:45:17.000 Yeah. And you need to be in a really safe place where people know how to guide you through it.

00:45:22.000 Yeah. It's not something I think you want to grab a handful of and go sit in a fucking closet and try to figure it out for yourself.

00:45:30.000 That's the real weirdness of any kind of psychedelic journey is that you're probably going to be going through some shit and someone could either manipulate you during that time or help you during that time.

00:45:44.000 And there are people that will manipulate you.

00:45:47.000 Absolutely. And that's why You know, that's why I go to this place that's not that easy to go to.

00:45:55.000 Just because it's so safe.

00:45:59.000 You know, it's set up perfectly for what they're trying to do.

00:46:03.000 And it was this guy's dream to do that.

00:46:07.000 To make it accessible to regular people.

00:46:10.000 So back then, when he opened up, you had to go to a corrugated tin shack in Peru or wherever to get this stuff.

00:46:16.000 And he said, I want to make a place that's safe to go.

00:46:20.000 People feel comfortable.

00:46:23.000 Isn't it kind of crazy that that's illegal?

00:46:25.000 I mean, it's kind of the weirdest thing of all time that we haven't just, as a society, went, okay, why are all these people going to these places?

00:46:33.000 Okay, when they come back, do they have positive experiences?

00:46:36.000 Does it help them?

00:46:36.000 Yeah, a lot of them.

00:46:38.000 Okay, why don't we do that here?

00:46:39.000 It should be that simple.

00:46:41.000 It should be that simple.

00:46:42.000 It should be so simple.

00:46:43.000 Yeah, there was a guy there that was on a scholarship they had for basically wounded warriors.

00:46:50.000 That are going through heavy PTSD.

00:46:52.000 There's an organization that's sending guys to arrhythmia.

00:46:55.000 And so I got to talk to him a lot while he was there.

00:46:59.000 And he was a psychologist.

00:47:02.000 And he was fucked up.

00:47:06.000 But I kind of got to watch his transformation a little bit.

00:47:10.000 Watch this guy coming around.

00:47:12.000 And I'd seen that.

00:47:13.000 And I'd seen the transformation in myself where I could just not be so angry.

00:47:18.000 And not hold all this hate that takes so much energy to fucking control and to have them really show me a way to let all that stuff go and to be a happier person.

00:47:35.000 And it's hard to...

00:47:38.000 I really don't understand ayahuasca, so it's really hard to explain it to somebody else.

00:47:47.000 I don't think anybody really understands it.

00:47:48.000 Yeah, right.

00:47:49.000 And I know there's some stuff that's stronger than that, but I don't know what it's called.

00:47:54.000 Ibogaine, you mean?

00:47:55.000 Is that what it is?

00:47:56.000 Ibogaine is the one that people use for addiction.

00:48:01.000 There's a place called Beyond that's in Mexico that does that.

00:48:06.000 Rick Perry was telling us about that.

00:48:08.000 A lot of former governor Rick Perry is a part of that.

00:48:12.000 He really wants to bring Ibogaine to Texas and have treatment centers.

00:48:16.000 We can't be gambling here.

00:48:18.000 I think they can get Ibogaine.

00:48:20.000 I think especially with a Republican like Rick Perry who's really concerned about the mental health of veterans because I think that's where it really shines.

00:48:30.000 Ibogaine in particular helps a lot of people.

00:48:34.000 Absolutely. It gives you like a review of your life, apparently.

00:48:36.000 I've never experienced it.

00:48:37.000 But the people that have have very positive things to say about it.

00:48:41.000 And it's incredibly good at helping people get over addictions.

00:48:46.000 It has a very high success rate.

00:48:48.000 For one treatment, I think it's in the 80%.

00:48:51.000 And then if you do two treatments, it's in the mid-90s.

00:48:56.000 That's fucking amazing.

00:48:57.000 Yeah. People that never go back to the drugs.

00:49:00.000 Never. Never go back to whatever it is.

00:49:02.000 Gambling. Whatever you have.

00:49:03.000 Whatever's wrong with you.

00:49:05.000 All you gotta do is figure out what's wrong with you.

00:49:07.000 Yeah, you gotta figure out why you're doing that.

00:49:09.000 Like, what is this pathway that I keep going down that's sabotaging my whole life and why can I not resist it?

00:49:15.000 Why do I keep reaching for the bottle?

00:49:17.000 What is it?

00:49:17.000 Why do I keep snorting coke?

00:49:19.000 What is it?

00:49:20.000 Well, that was the question I had with myself.

00:49:23.000 It's because I drank like a fool for years.

00:49:26.000 You don't say.

00:49:28.000 It was funny because Whenever I was single again, and I was in the green room, and I said, maybe I'll start drinking again.

00:49:37.000 And everybody at one time went, no!

00:49:40.000 No, no, no.

00:49:41.000 I was just kidding.

00:49:43.000 I was just kidding.

00:49:44.000 Well, you quit like that, though.

00:49:45.000 You did like, you were gone.

00:49:47.000 I did.

00:49:48.000 But I went to Rhythmia with intention.

00:49:55.000 I wanted to know why.

00:49:57.000 I was doing this to myself and why I could not see a way to quit.

00:50:01.000 And it was so tied up in my persona, my stage presence, who I really was at the time.

00:50:08.000 And I'm like, why is this all tied to me?

00:50:11.000 And why can't I shake it?

00:50:13.000 And so with that, I also went through hypnosis because I had to get sober before I went to – because that's not what their deal is.

00:50:24.000 They're not a treatment facility.

00:50:26.000 It could be a byproduct of it, but they're like, yeah, we don't have detox here.

00:50:31.000 So you have to quit some other way.

00:50:33.000 And once you've been sober for a month, you can come down here, which is exactly what I did.

00:50:39.000 I came up with a way to do that through hypnosis, which I thought was pretty effective.

00:50:45.000 Right. I got sober once before in one of those rehabs in Malibu for 90 grand, which was, at the time, I was spiraling.

00:50:56.000 I was living in a five-star hotel in Beverly Hills.

00:51:00.000 I was doing a bunch of blow.

00:51:02.000 I was screwing expensive hookers, which was exactly my life plan. 1.00

00:51:06.000 I'm like, okay, here it is.

00:51:10.000 And it ended up feeling pretty hollow, and I ended up going there.

00:51:15.000 And I stayed sober for about maybe six months or something like that, but it was white knuckle the whole fucking time of no fun.

00:51:26.000 But the way I did it, when I checked into that facility, I got the night sweats so bad when I quit.

00:51:35.000 They had two beds in the new people's things, and I would soak the sheets in one of them and move to the other bed and soak the sheets in that one.

00:51:45.000 I was detoxing big time.

00:51:47.000 Never happened this time.

00:51:49.000 I never had a night sweat, never regretted it, never thought about it again, never tempted to drink again.

00:52:00.000 I own...

00:52:02.000 Number one, tequila still.

00:52:04.000 And it's there at the green room every night.

00:52:08.000 It doesn't even bother me a bit.

00:52:11.000 That's interesting.

00:52:12.000 That's what the big fear a lot of people have is how will I still be around bars?

00:52:15.000 Right. And yeah, is it a little awkward at first?

00:52:21.000 Yes. And do I hang out in bars all the time?

00:52:24.000 Other than our club.

00:52:27.000 No, I don't.

00:52:28.000 I mean, I'll go listen to music if there's something, but just to go to a bar and hang out, I just don't do it.

00:52:33.000 Right. And for whatever reason.

00:52:35.000 Well, it's not that much fun being around drunks when you're sober.

00:52:39.000 No, it's really not.

00:52:40.000 You gotta be in the vibe of the drunks to appreciate drunk talk.

00:52:44.000 Yeah. When you're sober and someone's drunk and they're telling you some fucking story about their boss being a douchebag, it's like...

00:52:51.000 Whoa. Right.

00:52:52.000 So, and I also have a tendency, a natural tendency to just kind of isolate anyway, you know, and so I really, that's one of the things I love about the club is it gets me out of the house.

00:53:05.000 It gets me to go down there where my friends are and do what I do for a living and what I do for a living and what I do for fun, both.

00:53:12.000 I think a lot of people have that problem, that isolation problem, you know?

00:53:16.000 Yeah. Yeah, because I think that I think that people like you and I, I think a lot gets dumped on us.

00:53:30.000 Because of all the friends that I know, that I've known for a long time, I'm the only one that's been very successful.

00:53:39.000 Not out of my comic friends, but out of my regular friends.

00:53:42.000 And it seems like I get...

00:53:46.000 Just, I have to take in a lot of stuff and I never knew how to get rid of it.

00:53:50.000 So I would just get to the point where I was full and I couldn't take anymore and that's when I would isolate myself.

00:53:56.000 Right. Too many people want something from you.

00:53:58.000 Too many people want something.

00:54:00.000 That's why I gravitate towards you is because I know you don't want jack shit from me except for me to be your buddy.

00:54:07.000 And let us be brothers in comedy and whatever.

00:54:11.000 And life.

00:54:12.000 And life.

00:54:13.000 And so that's really good for me.

00:54:16.000 Even today, that's what gets me out of the house sometimes.

00:54:19.000 Oh, me too.

00:54:20.000 I mean, I love being home.

00:54:22.000 I love being home with my family, hanging out.

00:54:24.000 But my comedy family, I love being around too.

00:54:27.000 And that's what I feel like.

00:54:29.000 Especially when comics are in town that I don't get to see that often.

00:54:33.000 Oh, it's cool as shit.

00:54:34.000 Oh, we all hang out together.

00:54:35.000 It's beautiful.

00:54:36.000 Who were those two actors that were at the club the other day?

00:54:39.000 It was so much fun to have them in there.

00:54:43.000 Which night?

00:54:44.000 Fuck, I don't know.

00:54:45.000 We get a lot of visitors.

00:54:47.000 When Woody was there?

00:54:49.000 No. Will Arnett and Brad Cooper.

00:54:54.000 Yeah, Brad Cooper.

00:54:56.000 Well, it was fun to have him in the green room because, you know, we're all around each other all the time, so it was fun to have new people in there with stories we've never heard.

00:55:05.000 Oh, I wasn't there for that one.

00:55:07.000 Yeah, it was cool as shit, you know, just to have him hanging out, you know, good guys, you know.

00:55:13.000 Yeah. Woody was there.

00:55:15.000 You weren't here when Woody was there?

00:55:16.000 No. Oh, my God, he was so much fun.

00:55:18.000 He's so fun.

00:55:19.000 Did he do your show?

00:55:20.000 Yeah, he did my show, but that was nights before that, and he just wanted to come to the club.

00:55:25.000 He's been to the club a couple of times now.

00:55:28.000 Harrelson? Yeah.

00:55:29.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:55:31.000 Yeah, he's just been hanging out.

00:55:32.000 Fuck, I always wanted to meet that guy.

00:55:33.000 Oh, he's so nice.

00:55:34.000 We just all hung out in the green room, and he was just like one of the boys.

00:55:38.000 It was so easy.

00:55:39.000 How fucking cool is that?

00:55:41.000 So cool.

00:55:42.000 He's so easy to talk to, and talks to everybody the same way.

00:55:46.000 He's so easy.

00:55:47.000 He's just a genuine dude.

00:55:49.000 He don't even have a phone.

00:55:50.000 You can't even get a hold of him.

00:55:51.000 Really? Yeah, he don't have a phone.

00:55:53.000 Doesn't do email.

00:55:54.000 Fuck you.

00:55:55.000 No shit.

00:55:56.000 He's got an assistant that handles everything.

00:55:59.000 Which is probably a freeing thing.

00:56:01.000 Just stop.

00:56:03.000 Just stop.

00:56:05.000 Leave me alone.

00:56:06.000 Right? You know?

00:56:07.000 Well, I don't answer emails anyway.

00:56:09.000 But it's also like, let me know what I actually, let me think about what I think about things instead of being inundated by all these other people's thoughts constantly all day long, which is valuable.

00:56:19.000 It's good to get other people's perspectives on things.

00:56:22.000 I think it enriches you.

00:56:23.000 But at a certain point in time, you become captive to it.

00:56:26.000 And I think there's just too many people that are captive to other people's thoughts.

00:56:30.000 I think so, too.

00:56:31.000 That's why I'm so close-minded.

00:56:36.000 And I really am.

00:56:37.000 I'm truly closed-minded, and I think you're open-minded.

00:56:40.000 I try to be.

00:56:41.000 And I struggle with that, because just letting people pour information into my head, you know, I just tend to avoid it.

00:56:50.000 I am engaged, you know, in that I do follow things closely, and not the stock market, but everything else.

00:57:00.000 That's been a little bruiser.

00:57:01.000 Don't follow the stock market right now.

00:57:03.000 It's so baffling.

00:57:04.000 It's so crazy.

00:57:05.000 What is going on?

00:57:07.000 The whole world is mad at us.

00:57:09.000 Trump's playing golf, and in between swings, he's on the phone with presidents of countries.

00:57:15.000 We're going to need more money!

00:57:17.000 That's what somebody told me the other day.

00:57:19.000 Is he playing checkers?

00:57:20.000 Is he playing chess?

00:57:21.000 He's playing golf!

00:57:22.000 He's playing golf.

00:57:23.000 What does that mean?

00:57:24.000 Everybody wants to think there's some grand plan to it.

00:57:26.000 Well, they think the grand plan is...

00:57:28.000 Look... You know, we remember back when the, was it the 92 elections when Ross Perot was in?

00:57:40.000 So when Ross Perot laid out what happened, do you remember during that debate where Ross Perot laid out what happened with the tariffs?

00:57:49.000 So that, like, they, when we try to sell stuff over there, we get a high tariff.

00:57:54.000 It's like a 35% tariff, but they don't get tariffs.

00:57:58.000 I don't know.

00:58:23.000 When he talked about the giant sucking sound?

00:58:26.000 Yes. You actually mentioned that earlier in the podcast.

00:58:29.000 Yes, that's it.

00:58:30.000 That's funny.

00:58:31.000 Did you just see that recently or something?

00:58:32.000 No, I just remember it.

00:58:34.000 Oh, boy.

00:58:35.000 He would have been a great president.

00:58:37.000 I voted for him.

00:58:38.000 He had big ears.

00:58:41.000 He didn't come across well on TV.

00:58:43.000 He was an independent.

00:58:45.000 And nobody was voting for independent.

00:58:46.000 By the way, they changed the whole way debates work after this, because it used to be if you got 5% of the vote in the primary that you could be a part of the presidential debates.

00:58:58.000 And that's not the case anymore.

00:59:00.000 It was 5% in a poll.

00:59:01.000 I forget what the number was that you had to reach, but it wasn't a high threshold.

00:59:04.000 And then you could be a part of the debate.

00:59:06.000 And they changed the shit out of that after this, because Ross Perot tanked it.

00:59:09.000 They thought H.W. was going to go for a second term.

00:59:12.000 And meanwhile, Ross Perot fucked it up, because a lot of people that would have voted for Bush voted for Ross, and the people that were already going to vote for Clinton voted for Clinton, and Clinton won.

00:59:20.000 Play this, Jim.

00:59:21.000 $13, $14 an hour for factory workers.

00:59:24.000 And you can move your factory south of the border, pay a dollar an hour for labor, hire a young 25... 0.99

00:59:29.000 That's assuming you've been in business for a long time.

00:59:31.000 You've got a mature workforce.

00:59:32.000 Pay a dollar an hour for your labor, have no health care.

00:59:36.000 That's the most expensive single element, making a car.

00:59:39.000 Have no environmental controls, no pollution controls, and no retirement.

00:59:44.000 And you don't care about anything but making money.

00:59:47.000 There will be a giant sucking sound.

00:59:49.000 There it is!

00:59:50.000 Right there!

00:59:51.000 If the people send me to Washington, the first thing I'll do is study that 2,000 page agreement and make sure it's a two-way street.

00:59:59.000 One last point here.

01:00:01.000 I've called, I've decided I was dumb and didn't understand it, so I called the who's who of the folks who've been around it, and I said, why won't everybody go south?

01:00:08.000 They said, we'll be disrupted.

01:00:09.000 I said, for how long?

01:00:10.000 I finally got them up for 12 to 15 years, and I said, well, how does it stop being disrupted?

01:00:14.000 And that is, when their jobs come up from a dollar an hour to six dollars an hour, and ours go down to six dollars an hour, then it's leveled again, but in the meantime, you've wrecked the country with these kinds of deals.

01:00:23.000 Jesus Christ, what a fucking smart man.

01:00:26.000 He was right, and that's exactly what happened.

01:00:28.000 American manufacturing collapsed.

01:00:30.000 Yeah. And they did it all for money.

01:00:32.000 And they did it all because they were greedy.

01:00:35.000 They were already rich.

01:00:36.000 Right. And if we could have just gotten those motherfuckers some ayahuasca? 1.00

01:00:39.000 Jesus Christ, they'd have smoothed the fuck out, man.

01:00:42.000 They would have said, oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

01:00:44.000 Yeah, let's be nice.

01:00:45.000 Let's make America great again.

01:00:46.000 I don't understand the trade war with Canada, because have you ever met a Canadian that had $35 in his pocket?

01:00:54.000 No. They're all broke.

01:00:56.000 They have $22.

01:00:57.000 Really? And they'll buy you a beer.

01:00:59.000 I love Canadians.

01:01:01.000 Yeah, they're broke.

01:01:02.000 They don't have any money up there.

01:01:03.000 How come they don't have any money?

01:01:04.000 Because it's socialism.

01:01:08.000 I think it's a great place.

01:01:11.000 Don't you love Canada?

01:01:12.000 I love it.

01:01:12.000 Well, they have socialized medicine, but it's a capitalist society.

01:01:15.000 It is, but socialized medicine.

01:01:17.000 It's expensive.

01:01:18.000 What percentage do Canadians pay in taxes?

01:01:23.000 I don't know.

01:01:23.000 Let's find that out.

01:01:24.000 What's the Canadian tax rate?

01:01:27.000 I know it's higher than Americans. 0.85

01:01:29.000 I know.

01:01:29.000 Mine's a bitch.

01:01:30.000 And when you go over there, you have to pay taxes, too.

01:01:32.000 Like, if you do a gig.

01:01:33.000 Yeah, you have to pay taxes.

01:01:34.000 Yeah, you pay Canadian taxes on your gig.

01:01:36.000 And you get paid in Canadian dollars.

01:01:38.000 I'm not going up there much for shows.

01:01:40.000 Yeah. But, you know.

01:01:43.000 So, here it is.

01:01:45.000 Canada's top federal income tax rate is 33%.

01:01:48.000 While the U.S. is 37%.

01:01:50.000 Right. However, when combining federal, provincial, state taxes, Canadians often face higher marginal rates across various income levels.

01:01:58.000 That's interesting, that theirs is only 33%, ours is 37%.

01:02:02.000 I thought ours was lower than theirs.

01:02:04.000 I thought ours was 40%.

01:02:06.000 Well, it is when you get to a certain tax bracket, correct?

01:02:10.000 Isn't it?

01:02:13.000 Ours changes when you get higher, right?

01:02:14.000 Yeah, it does.

01:02:16.000 33%. On the portion over $246,000.

01:02:20.000 What's ours in terms of the highest tax bracket?

01:02:25.000 What's the highest U.S.?

01:02:26.000 Is it 37?

01:02:27.000 That's what it is?

01:02:31.000 What's really crazy to me is when people say the rich should pay more taxes.

01:02:35.000 Okay. Fine.

01:02:37.000 But where do you think that's going?

01:02:39.000 Where's that going?

01:02:41.000 Where is the money going?

01:02:42.000 Is the money going to the federal government?

01:02:44.000 Do you think they're good at it?

01:02:45.000 Do you think they're good at managing your money?

01:02:46.000 Have you paid attention to all the shit Elon's fucking uncovered?

01:02:49.000 37% is when you make over $609,000 a year.

01:02:54.000 That's you, motherfucker.

01:02:56.000 That's me last month.

01:02:59.000 This is the thing.

01:03:00.000 It's like I'm happy to pay tax if I thought that they were doing a great job.

01:03:06.000 But it's just you are being strong-armed into giving money to people that do a really shitty job of protecting your money and investing it in the country.

01:03:16.000 It's a lot of it is going to bureaucracy and bullshit and a bunch of things that you don't have any say in.

01:03:24.000 If you could like opt out of it, if you could like...

01:03:28.000 Imagine if you had a whole tax sheet.

01:03:32.000 Would you like your money to go to?

01:03:34.000 Would you like your money to go to overthrowing governments?

01:03:37.000 No. What if the federal government's budget was entirely based on the will of the people?

01:03:42.000 You get to choose.

01:03:43.000 How much of your money do you want to put into drone strikes in Yemen?

01:03:47.000 I say I don't want zero of my money going to that.

01:03:50.000 How much money do you want to go to this or that or clean water? 0.87

01:03:55.000 Okay, clean water sounds good.

01:03:56.000 How much infrastructure?

01:03:58.000 Fuck yeah.

01:03:58.000 Fix the streets.

01:03:59.000 I agree with you and I've just heard you say this that everybody should have access to health care and education.

01:04:10.000 100%. The whole country.

01:04:12.000 The whole country.

01:04:13.000 That would rise us all up.

01:04:16.000 100%. Less losers.

01:04:18.000 That's how you make America great.

01:04:19.000 Less losers.

01:04:20.000 Less people that are saddled down with a lifetime of debt because they broke their leg.

01:04:24.000 That's crazy.

01:04:25.000 All my sons, Friends are all saddled with $90,000 worth of fucking student loan debt.

01:04:35.000 Subsidized. And my son was lucky enough that I had enough money to pay for his.

01:04:40.000 And so he doesn't have that burden, but goddammit, nobody should have that burden for an education.

01:04:46.000 And it's just a for-profit institution that roped you into thinking that that was necessary.

01:04:51.000 That you have to be.

01:04:53.000 And by the way, you can get...

01:04:54.000 As good an education right now online as is available anywhere on earth.

01:04:59.000 If you have the discipline.

01:05:02.000 That's what's so wild.

01:05:04.000 That's what's so fascinating about this time.

01:05:06.000 It is basically obsolete and yet people are still paying $70,000 a year for it.

01:05:12.000 And more.

01:05:13.000 What does Harvard cost?

01:05:15.000 What's Harvard's yearly tuition, Jamie?

01:05:19.000 What do you guess?

01:05:20.000 I'd say at least $50,000.

01:05:22.000 Yeah, at least $50,000.

01:05:24.000 Imagine if you're a middle class guy and you got two kids and they do real good and they don't have scholarships and you gotta pay for them.

01:05:32.000 I can't imagine.

01:05:33.000 I mean, I don't see how people do it.

01:05:35.000 I mean, I really don't.

01:05:36.000 Oh boy!

01:05:37.000 The total cost of attendance including fees, housing, and food reaching around $82,000.

01:05:44.000 Undergraduate tuition is $56,550 for a year.

01:05:48.000 That's a lot of money, man.

01:05:51.000 That's one year.

01:05:53.000 Oof. And if you drop out after one year, then you have nothing and you're down 80 grand.

01:05:58.000 But if you make it through those four years, now you're 200 grand in the hole that you owe.

01:06:05.000 And then you have to get a job and then you get a job that pays 50. And you're like, what?

01:06:09.000 Yeah. Oh my God.

01:06:11.000 I'll never pay this off.

01:06:12.000 I'll never pay this off.

01:06:13.000 And then you have to throw a couple of kids on top of that. 0.89

01:06:18.000 You know something wild?

01:06:19.000 There's people out there, their social security is getting docked because they owe student loans.

01:06:26.000 So they take money out of your social security to pay for your student loans because the student loans is the one thing you can never escape.

01:06:31.000 You can't bankrupt it.

01:06:33.000 Which is so crazy.

01:06:35.000 It's cruel.

01:06:36.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:06:37.000 You're saddling an 18-year-old with the burden of a lifetime.

01:06:41.000 Harvard, we're off of free tuition for families earning $200,000 or less a year.

01:06:46.000 Oh, that's great.

01:06:47.000 To who?

01:06:49.000 Offering it to who?

01:06:51.000 You can't even get into Harvard.

01:06:52.000 Right, but it's still good.

01:06:55.000 We'll be free for students and families earning $200,000 or less a year.

01:06:59.000 College announced Monday.

01:07:00.000 Harvard has long sought to open our doors to the most talented students no matter their financial circumstances.

01:07:05.000 That's great.

01:07:06.000 Yeah, it is.

01:07:06.000 That's great.

01:07:07.000 I just don't know if it's necessary.

01:07:09.000 I think it's probably necessary for kids to go to school just to, like...

01:07:14.000 A passage, a rite of passage, you know?

01:07:17.000 Like, I think ceremonies and rites of passages are missing in our society.

01:07:21.000 Yeah. And especially, I could speak for young men, they don't know when they're a man.

01:07:25.000 Like, am I a man yet?

01:07:27.000 There's some men that, you know, in their 30s, their dad's still yelling at them.

01:07:31.000 Right. You know what I mean?

01:07:32.000 It's like, when am I a man?

01:07:34.000 When am I an equal?

01:07:36.000 When am I...

01:07:37.000 You know, we don't have a ceremony.

01:07:38.000 You know, in other tribal societies and all throughout history, people have had rituals, rites of passage rituals, where people feel like, okay, we fucking made it, you know?

01:07:48.000 Like, you have a black belt ceremony.

01:07:50.000 You got your black belt.

01:07:51.000 All right.

01:07:52.000 I made it.

01:07:53.000 You know?

01:07:54.000 I'm in.

01:07:55.000 But, you know, so I think there's a benefit in that in society.

01:07:59.000 But then you gotta, like, unlearn all this shit your fucking crazy professors are telling you.

01:08:05.000 Did you go to college?

01:08:06.000 Yes. I went to UMass Boston.

01:08:08.000 Oh, wow.

01:08:09.000 That's a good school.

01:08:10.000 Easy to get into.

01:08:12.000 I only went because I didn't want people thinking I was a loser.

01:08:15.000 That's the only reason why I went.

01:08:17.000 I just wasted my time there.

01:08:19.000 I went for three years, just wasting my time taking class so I could tell people I was going to college.

01:08:24.000 Oh, I didn't waste any time.

01:08:25.000 I got kicked out of high school in the 10th grade.

01:08:30.000 You know, my mind is an open book there.

01:08:34.000 A lot of the pages aren't filled in.

01:08:36.000 And you know what?

01:08:37.000 I always kind of, I regret that a little bit.

01:08:43.000 You know, that I didn't go to college, that I didn't...

01:08:46.000 What do you regret about it?

01:08:48.000 Well, just, you know, well, number one, I think I'd be smarter.

01:08:59.000 I don't know what it is.

01:09:00.000 And I've made it just fine with what I've had, you know.

01:09:05.000 You know, I've got attention deficit disorder and all these things.

01:09:09.000 It really kept me from doing traditional school work very well.

01:09:11.000 I'm not even sure that's real.

01:09:13.000 Attention deficit disorder?

01:09:14.000 Yeah, I don't think it's real.

01:09:15.000 You don't?

01:09:16.000 No. Let me change your mind.

01:09:18.000 I think there's a lot of people that aren't interested in a lot of things.

01:09:21.000 But when they're interested, when they say attention deficit disorder, why are those guys so good at video games?

01:09:26.000 Like, why are they so good at things that aren't school?

01:09:29.000 I think it's just, I think we could...

01:09:32.000 Categorize it into a bunch of different disorders and problems.

01:09:37.000 But I think a lot of that is a way to get you hooked on some sort of pharmaceutical drug that's going to fix whatever problem you have that doesn't allow you to sit in class and listen to some boring shit for fucking six hours.

01:09:48.000 You got no problem writing jokes, Ron White.

01:09:50.000 You got no problem performing.

01:09:51.000 It's not like there's not a thing that you can't excel at that you can pay attention when you're on stage.

01:09:58.000 I don't know about that.

01:09:59.000 I think stand-up comedy...

01:10:01.000 Was the answer to every problem I had.

01:10:04.000 Because that's what I was good at.

01:10:06.000 You're a comic.

01:10:07.000 You are a comic.

01:10:09.000 That's what you're supposed to do.

01:10:11.000 But let me give you an example.

01:10:13.000 That's my point, is that there's a lot of different functions in society.

01:10:17.000 There's a lot of different roles in society.

01:10:19.000 I think they probably tag ADD to people that don't have it.

01:10:25.000 But I know that I still have it.

01:10:28.000 So, if let's say that I was going to put together A ceiling fan.

01:10:32.000 And hang it in my roof, which I'm not.

01:10:37.000 I could no more do that than the man in the moon without an Adderall.

01:10:43.000 If I take an Adderall, I'll read the directions, I'll put the whole thing together and hang it on, no problem.

01:10:49.000 Without it, I stare at it.

01:10:52.000 I've tried.

01:10:53.000 You're bored.

01:10:55.000 You need excitement.

01:10:56.000 You're a certain type of dude who needs a certain type of stimulation.

01:11:01.000 Which is why you like the high wire act of performing live.

01:11:04.000 I don't think it's a disorder.

01:11:06.000 I think it's a superpower.

01:11:07.000 Ah! Well, I like the sound of that.

01:11:10.000 I do.

01:11:10.000 I think the inability to pay attention to shit that's not interesting is not a disorder.

01:11:15.000 It's just you know what's interesting and what's not.

01:11:19.000 You know, to this day, like, maybe I have it too, because to this day, when I'm talking to someone, they're saying something really boring, I want to run away.

01:11:25.000 Right, you don't hear a word that's coming out of their mouth.

01:11:28.000 I don't hear a word, and I just can't, it's like, it's...

01:11:30.000 I just want to get out.

01:11:33.000 I'm the same way.

01:11:34.000 But that doesn't mean I have a disorder.

01:11:36.000 I don't think I have a disorder, because if I'm talking to you, I've got no problem at all.

01:11:39.000 Well, let's get two ceiling fans out here. 0.99

01:11:45.000 Yeah, I'm sure I'm not that good at putting together a ceiling fan either.

01:11:49.000 I wouldn't enjoy it, but I could do it.

01:11:51.000 You just follow the directions.

01:11:53.000 Like, you could follow directions.

01:11:54.000 It's not hard.

01:11:55.000 It's just you wouldn't enjoy it.

01:11:56.000 But if it was something that you enjoyed doing, like learning how to swing a golf club better, then you could pay attention.

01:12:03.000 I do pay attention to that.

01:12:04.000 That's all I'm saying.

01:12:05.000 I think there's roles in this world.

01:12:07.000 And different personalities fit perfectly into mathematics.

01:12:11.000 Different personalities fit perfectly into philosophy.

01:12:15.000 Engineering. Different personalities.

01:12:17.000 It's like, you just gotta find out what...

01:12:19.000 What vibes with the way you think and we all think differently.

01:12:22.000 We all have different...

01:12:24.000 We all have different backgrounds.

01:12:25.000 We all have different biology.

01:12:27.000 You know, you just got to find what is the thing that like syncs up with the way your mind works.

01:12:32.000 And the problem with traditional education is it was designed by the Rockefeller family.

01:12:38.000 Like the school system in this country was designed to create better factory workers and soldiers and to get them real early.

01:12:45.000 That's why they want to start you at five because they figured out when you start people at 12 or 13. They already got their ideas of what the world is and how the world works, and I'm not fucking shooting somebody for you.

01:12:56.000 So what they do is they get you when you're five, and when you're five, they can kind of indoctrinate you, separate you from your parents most of the day while your parents are at work.

01:13:05.000 And so that's like most of your day, you have other people other than your parents telling you how the world is, how the world works, what's happening in your life and what you should be doing.

01:13:18.000 And that's kind of crazy because a lot of those people suck.

01:13:21.000 I remember thinking that when I was a kid, like thinking how strange it is that people that I don't respect and I don't enjoy are the ones that are in control of communicating to me most of the day.

01:13:32.000 I remember very clearly thinking that when I was a little kid, like 10, 11 years old.

01:13:36.000 Yeah. You know, I know that when I was a kid, I used to have this history teacher who was also a PE coach.

01:13:46.000 Now, he had something as intriguing as history to teach me, but I could not listen to him talk.

01:13:55.000 So he couldn't even make American history interesting.

01:13:58.000 But a good teacher could have done it.

01:14:00.000 A good teacher could have roped me in to what was going on and the story of it and how it affects my life and the lives of my parents and my grandparents, how it all went down.

01:14:11.000 That's an interesting story.

01:14:13.000 But if you're a dull fucking assistant coach basketball, and now you've got one period of history, and you have a monotone voice, and I'm just out of it, I imagine what it would have been like to have access to wonderful educators.

01:14:30.000 Right, but if you were listening to, like, you ever listen to Dan Carlin's podcast?

01:14:34.000 No. He's got this podcast called Hardcore History.

01:14:36.000 It's incredible.

01:14:37.000 Incredible. It's amazing.

01:14:39.000 It's such a good podcast.

01:14:41.000 And this guy will lay out the events of World War I in a way that you will hang on every word and you'll park your car.

01:14:51.000 If you've got to go somewhere, you'll keep your car running because you just want to listen to where this is going.

01:14:55.000 Wow. So if a guy like that was teaching you history...

01:14:58.000 That would have been great.

01:15:00.000 I mean, I think I would have been engaged.

01:15:01.000 You probably would have been a historian.

01:15:03.000 Yeah, making nothing.

01:15:06.000 Yeah, I mean, but...

01:15:08.000 Dan Carlin's doing well.

01:15:11.000 But that's someone who loves what they do.

01:15:14.000 And that's the difference.

01:15:16.000 School is this weird indoctrination fucking ritual that we all have to go through.

01:15:22.000 And then we all have to feel real bad about ourselves because we don't want to be there and we're not doing good at it.

01:15:26.000 I felt like a fucking complete loser in school.

01:15:29.000 I never felt like I was supposed to be there.

01:15:34.000 I never felt like I was smart.

01:15:37.000 You know, but I remember, like, finally, when I realized that I was never, like, when I was going to school for three years, when I went to college for three years, when I finally was like, what am I doing?

01:15:50.000 Like, I gotta stop doing this.

01:15:51.000 It's just wasting time.

01:15:53.000 Because that's all I was doing.

01:15:53.000 It was just completely wasting time.

01:15:55.000 It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

01:15:58.000 Like, I just go, eh, this is not for me.

01:16:00.000 Well, the one thing is, I didn't waste that time.

01:16:03.000 You know?

01:16:04.000 Right. There you go.

01:16:05.000 I did.

01:16:09.000 But, you know, I think I'd have a better understanding of how the world works if I'd understood world history.

01:16:16.000 Right. I mean, those kinds of things.

01:16:18.000 I just wish I was, you know, I wish I had an education.

01:16:23.000 But what would I do with it?

01:16:25.000 I have no idea.

01:16:26.000 I'd still do stand-up.

01:16:27.000 Yeah, well, hopefully.

01:16:29.000 And I wouldn't be any fucking funnier.

01:16:30.000 Jesus Christ, imagine if you did.

01:16:31.000 Imagine if you did go down a different road.

01:16:33.000 That would have sucked.

01:16:35.000 I know.

01:16:37.000 Before I started doing stand-up, I was a window salesman.

01:16:40.000 And I was broke.

01:16:43.000 And I had nothing.

01:16:45.000 And I was unimpressive.

01:16:47.000 And my in-laws bought us a garage door opener.

01:16:53.000 So I had a garage door opener.

01:16:55.000 Now you're going to think this is really fucking weird.

01:17:00.000 I used to wear that garage door opener on my belt so people would think I had a beeper.

01:17:10.000 I just hang it, clip it right there on my belt.

01:17:12.000 Oh, people don't know about the beeper.

01:17:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:17:15.000 A lot of people listening right now.

01:17:17.000 I have no idea what that is.

01:17:18.000 Ron and I have been through all the various stages of technological inter...

01:17:24.000 Wizardry. Yeah.

01:17:26.000 But the intertwining in our lives, the way, you know, the first thing was the beeper.

01:17:34.000 Like, you would get a beeper.

01:17:35.000 Like, my friend Johnny had one.

01:17:37.000 You could page people.

01:17:38.000 You could page him, and he would call the number.

01:17:40.000 Yeah. Hey, what's up?

01:17:41.000 And you'd stop at a phone booth, now that what a phone booth is.

01:17:44.000 And he'd have to, like, put quarters in the phone booth and look at the beeper, and do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do.

01:17:51.000 Hey, what's up?

01:17:52.000 Hey, what's going on?

01:17:53.000 Where you at?

01:17:54.000 And you'd have a conversation with someone.

01:17:55.000 That's how you'd get a hold of them.

01:17:56.000 You'd have to page them.

01:17:57.000 Right. Yeah.

01:17:58.000 Joey Diaz had a pager forever.

01:18:01.000 Joey Diaz had a pager deep into the, like, maybe the 2000s.

01:18:06.000 Wow. Not kidding.

01:18:08.000 Yeah, definitely in the 90s he had a pager.

01:18:10.000 Because I remember sometimes he would go AWOL, and I'd be paging him, like, where are you?

01:18:14.000 Like, one time we were doing a gig in Jersey.

01:18:17.000 We were doing Rascals in East Orange, and he fucking never showed up.

01:18:20.000 And I finally got a hold of him on the phone.

01:18:23.000 He's like, I'm not going to lie to you, dog.

01:18:24.000 I never left Vegas.

01:18:25.000 God damn it, Joey.

01:18:30.000 I'll never forget that conversation.

01:18:32.000 I never left Vegas.

01:18:32.000 I'm not going to lie to you, dog.

01:18:34.000 I never left Vegas.

01:18:36.000 It was just having a good time.

01:18:38.000 But that's how you got a hold of him.

01:18:40.000 You'd have to page him.

01:18:41.000 That was it.

01:18:42.000 And then one day he got a phone.

01:18:44.000 And when he got a phone, you better not fucking text him.

01:18:47.000 If you text him, he'll yell at you.

01:18:49.000 Like Brian Redband used to text him.

01:18:51.000 He goes, stop fucking texting me.

01:18:52.000 And then Joey eventually got an iPhone and Brian got a

01:18:56.000 Okay. Yeah.

01:19:14.000 Um... He only wants to talk to you on the phone.

01:19:18.000 I go, why?

01:19:19.000 Why don't you like talking to people?

01:19:21.000 He goes, I'm insecure.

01:19:22.000 I want to hear your voice.

01:19:23.000 I want to tell you I love you.

01:19:24.000 Yeah. I'm like, okay, I get it.

01:19:25.000 I get it.

01:19:26.000 He's old school.

01:19:27.000 Yeah, he calls me every once in a while just to say hello.

01:19:31.000 Just to say hi.

01:19:32.000 Yeah, just to say hi.

01:19:33.000 He's checking on you.

01:19:34.000 He might be the number one dude that I just talk to mostly on the phone.

01:19:38.000 Very few text messages between me and Joey.

01:19:41.000 Then I'll ask him, like, hey, is April 22nd good?

01:19:44.000 Yeah, we're good.

01:19:45.000 Okay. See you then.

01:19:46.000 So is he going to come down to do sets?

01:19:48.000 He's coming down to do sets.

01:19:50.000 He's getting ready.

01:19:50.000 He's going to do a special.

01:19:52.000 So he's doing a bunch of shows.

01:19:54.000 He's got a residency I think he's doing in Philly.

01:19:57.000 Is he doing it in Philly?

01:19:59.000 We'll find out when he gets here.

01:20:01.000 But he's doing a residency.

01:20:02.000 He's done a few of these residencies where he shows up like every weekend.

01:20:07.000 He's like the Snuffleupagus.

01:20:24.000 He's a mystical creature.

01:20:26.000 Right, he is.

01:20:27.000 There's nothing like him.

01:20:29.000 He's a completely unique human being.

01:20:32.000 It was fun to watch him just stomp the fuck out of the fucking room at the store, man.

01:20:39.000 He just beat the shit out of those crowds.

01:20:42.000 Some of the sets that I've seen him have in the OR, I think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

01:20:52.000 I've seen everybody.

01:20:54.000 I've seen everyone.

01:20:55.000 Great, great, great comedians who I love to death.

01:20:58.000 And I'll watch them every time they perform.

01:21:02.000 I think Joey hit RPMs that nobody hit.

01:21:05.000 He hit these moments.

01:21:07.000 Oh, I saw him wind them up, man.

01:21:09.000 Just wind them up.

01:21:11.000 It's like when people say, like, who's the funniest guy ever?

01:21:13.000 I'm like, come on, man.

01:21:14.000 I don't...

01:21:15.000 You know, there's guys with great insight.

01:21:17.000 Like, Patrice had great insight.

01:21:20.000 He was really hilarious, but he also had, like, great insight.

01:21:24.000 Joey Diaz, you ain't getting no insight out of Joey Diaz.

01:21:26.000 No, no.

01:21:27.000 He's rockin', sockin' robots.

01:21:30.000 He's here to fuck you up.

01:21:32.000 He's here to fuck that crowd up.

01:21:37.000 He used to have this bit about Terry Crews.

01:21:42.000 Like, when Terry Crews accused some guy of grabbing his dick.

01:21:46.000 Oh my god.

01:21:50.000 it was so funny you'd be in the back of the room just barely breathe you couldn't breathe I was looking around people are falling out of their chairs they couldn't handle it and he was on fire just purple, fucking

01:22:06.000 red in the face screaming and yelling oh my god oh my

01:22:12.000 Those are some of the first sets I saw you do at the store when you were doing that bit where you were standing on top of the stool.

01:22:18.000 Oh, the Kim Kardashian bit?

01:22:19.000 Yeah. I just remember just how Dick slapped those fucking crowds.

01:22:27.000 I'm like, God damn it.

01:22:29.000 He's good at this.

01:22:30.000 Fuck. It's a fun job, bro.

01:22:33.000 It is the funnest job.

01:22:34.000 We're so lucky.

01:22:35.000 We're so lucky in so many ways.

01:22:38.000 It just doesn't make sense.

01:22:41.000 When I think about a life without stand-up, it makes me nervous to even think about it.

01:22:45.000 But we almost did it, right?

01:22:46.000 Yeah. I mean, when we all went through that with COVID, I mean, you were basically saying you were done.

01:22:53.000 I thought it was done.

01:22:54.000 I didn't like it anymore.

01:22:58.000 Halfway through every set, I couldn't wait for it to be over.

01:23:01.000 Wow. And now I go on

01:23:06.000 and I have this whole new gratitude for these crowds, you know, that are still there waiting, bigger than ever.

01:23:14.000 My shows sell out faster than they ever have.

01:23:16.000 Isn't that amazing?

01:23:17.000 And part of it is just because there's less of them, I guess.

01:23:21.000 But also it's because of my friends, you know, the word gets out, you know, you guys did

01:23:27.000 Yeah. Yeah, we knew...

01:23:31.000 I mean...

01:23:33.000 I tell everybody, but it's true. 0.88

01:23:35.000 You're one of the reasons why we decided to buy a club.

01:23:38.000 Because you grabbed me when you got off stage that first time.

01:23:42.000 You hadn't been on stage in like eight months.

01:23:44.000 And you grabbed me by the shoulders.

01:23:45.000 Whatever the fuck we have to do, we're going to keep doing this.

01:23:48.000 Yeah, and we did.

01:23:50.000 I'll never forget that moment.

01:23:51.000 I was like, okay, we're going to do it.

01:23:52.000 You're going to get that fucking club open.

01:23:54.000 I'm like, we're going to do it.

01:23:56.000 I was already thinking about doing it very seriously.

01:23:59.000 Because I realized, like, No.

01:24:10.000 No, there's a difference.

01:24:11.000 I don't even like to do sets other places.

01:24:15.000 I don't either.

01:24:15.000 That's really what's wrong with the mothership.

01:24:18.000 I don't know.

01:24:18.000 It'll spoil your fucking ass, you know, with great crowds and perfect acoustics and an amazing sound system.

01:24:27.000 And then when you move over to another room, which I rarely do, do another set in town.

01:24:34.000 I did one a couple months ago, and I was like, this sucks.

01:24:39.000 If you guys want to find me, I'll be down at your mothership.

01:24:44.000 Yeah, we did it, Ron.

01:24:46.000 We actually did it.

01:24:48.000 It's interesting when you look back at those conversations we used to have, like we were in the Vulcan.

01:24:53.000 Hanging out in the green room, talking about what the club's going to be like.

01:24:56.000 Yeah. It seemed like a pipe dream.

01:24:58.000 And I know a lot of people probably did think it was fake.

01:25:01.000 There's a lot of people in L.A. Like, Tony used to talk to them all the time.

01:25:03.000 Yeah, when's Joe opening that club?

01:25:06.000 The club's never going to open.

01:25:08.000 It's all bullshit.

01:25:09.000 You guys moved down there for no fucking reason.

01:25:11.000 Because the thing about you making a choice...

01:25:13.000 That's a cigar.

01:25:14.000 Oh, it is?

01:25:15.000 Yeah. If the thing about you making a choice to go and, you know, start something up and the people that are left behind, they kind of want you to fail, especially the haters.

01:25:26.000 Right. They want you to.

01:25:27.000 So Tony was like encountering that all the time.

01:25:29.000 These people that just for whatever reason, they don't want other people to they don't want people to escape the bomb that they're in.

01:25:38.000 You know, it's like people from the neighborhood that don't want you to leave.

01:25:43.000 And when you do leave, oh, look who's back.

01:25:45.000 Right.

01:25:52.000 You know?

01:25:52.000 It's a gross feeling.

01:25:54.000 It's a gross thing, but it's super, super common.

01:25:59.000 Looking for a joint?

01:26:00.000 Yeah. Jesus Christ, Ron.

01:26:02.000 Don't you know we're in Texas?

01:26:04.000 You know, um...

01:26:05.000 That's the first thing they gotta fix, is make this shit legal in the whole country.

01:26:11.000 It's so crazy that...

01:26:13.000 What's stopping them?

01:26:14.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:26:16.000 I don't understand it.

01:26:18.000 I mean, it's a political beach ball.

01:26:20.000 It's one of those things that just gets tossed around that I think is good for the establishment that runs the country.

01:26:28.000 It's good to keep it up in the air.

01:26:30.000 Like, I'll promise when I get in office, gays will be able to marry! 1.00

01:26:34.000 Yay! Yeah, right.

01:26:36.000 And then they're talking about, there's people that want to take that off the table, you know?

01:26:40.000 It's like there's a bunch of those things, like Roe v.

01:26:42.000 Wade, that was a big one.

01:26:44.000 There's a bunch of these cultural beach balls that are very important issues to some people.

01:26:49.000 And they get exploited by politicians as a way to promise you this and promise you that.

01:26:55.000 But it never...

01:26:56.000 Nothing ever gets fixed.

01:26:59.000 Nothing ever changes.

01:27:01.000 Well, it's changing a little.

01:27:03.000 You know, I didn't think marijuana would ever be legal in Oklahoma.

01:27:06.000 I thought they'd be behind us, you know.

01:27:08.000 But, boy, you go there now, it's billboards on every fucking street corner.

01:27:11.000 Come get your weed, you know.

01:27:13.000 New Mexico just authorized psilocybin therapy.

01:27:17.000 Really? Yep.

01:27:18.000 For people with depression.

01:27:20.000 I think depression and anxiety, is that what it's for?

01:27:23.000 Is that what they're using it for?

01:27:25.000 Those terms which apply to basically everybody.

01:27:29.000 Everybody's had some depression and some anxiety.

01:27:32.000 There you go.

01:27:33.000 Now you can get some mushrooms and figure your life out.

01:27:35.000 Maybe I'll give it a try.

01:27:38.000 It's just the problem is federally it's still not legal.

01:27:43.000 It's so dumb.

01:27:44.000 It's so dumb.

01:27:45.000 I don't think it's going to change.

01:27:48.000 Unfortunately. I think Trump is too busy with all these other issues.

01:27:52.000 I don't think he's interested in that.

01:27:54.000 So... Co-sponsor said, here it goes, the bill would establish an advisory board, treatment, equity fund, and research fund, as well as remove psilocybin from the Controlled Substances Act to protect qualified and registered patients,

01:28:09.000 clinicians, and producers, according to a news release jointly by the Office of the Senate and the House Democrats.

01:28:20.000 So this is what the Democrats have over the Republicans.

01:28:24.000 Freedom to explore your consciousness.

01:28:27.000 Republicans, for whatever reason, they shy away from that.

01:28:32.000 It doesn't fit with their conservative mindset of what you should.

01:28:37.000 It used to be it didn't fit.

01:28:39.000 Freedom of speech didn't fit with their mindset.

01:28:43.000 And now the Republicans are all about freedom of speech because they realize the consequences of it during the last election cycle.

01:28:52.000 When things get censored and when you have a town square that's curated by not just the big tech companies but also by the federal government itself, things can get weird when you're trying to access the truth.

01:29:04.000 You want to know what is actually going on.

01:29:06.000 When certain stories have actually been suppressed for the news because the federal government deems them misinformation, even if they turn out to be true, that's not good.

01:29:15.000 And so for because of that the right is supporting freedom of speech, which I think is fucking great.

01:29:22.000 That's great That's what we all should be supporting, but we all should should be Supporting the freedom to expand your consciousness and people have been doing it and sort of

01:29:33.000 Thousands and thousands of years.

01:29:40.000 If you haven't done it yourself and you're passing judgment on people that have, you're not qualified.

01:29:44.000 If you want to go do a psilocybin session, like a heavy, what Terrence McKenna would call a heroic dose, you want to do that and then talk shit?

01:29:54.000 Okay. But until then, because the thing is, it would preclude you from doing the things that you're doing.

01:30:03.000 Know this, okay?

01:30:05.000 If you are a fucking rampant capitalist and all you give a fuck about is your hedge fund and all you give a fuck about is the stock market and numbers and buying this exclusive that and that exclusive this and getting tickets to this exclusive thing and all you're about is like status and numbers,

01:30:24.000 it will fuck that up.

01:30:25.000 It will fuck that whole thing sideways.

01:30:28.000 You won't be able to take any of that seriously anymore.

01:30:30.000 But that's good.

01:30:31.000 It's good for you.

01:30:33.000 You're not supposed to be taking that seriously.

01:30:35.000 If you've got half a billion dollars and you're still scrambling to try to make more money, like, pause.

01:30:43.000 You're 67 years old.

01:30:44.000 You're gonna die if you're lucky in 30 years.

01:30:48.000 If you're so lucky to hit 97, 30 years happens so quick, man.

01:30:54.000 We've been here for five, Ron.

01:30:56.000 I know.

01:30:57.000 You were here for six.

01:30:58.000 You were here.

01:30:59.000 You were patient zero.

01:31:00.000 I always say you were patient zero in the Austin invasion.

01:31:04.000 Because I remember calling you.

01:31:06.000 It was in 2018 when you moved here?

01:31:08.000 17, I think.

01:31:09.000 17. I remember calling you going, what are you doing down there?

01:31:13.000 Like, we miss you at the store.

01:31:14.000 I fucking love it down here.

01:31:15.000 Middle of the country.

01:31:16.000 If I want to fly, I can fly anywhere real quick.

01:31:19.000 People are nice.

01:31:20.000 Food's great.

01:31:21.000 And I was like, fuck, can I live in Texas?

01:31:23.000 I started thinking about it then.

01:31:25.000 But then when the pandemic hit and I knew you were here, and then I had some friends in LA that were also real sketched out by all of it.

01:31:34.000 They all wound up moving somewhere else.

01:31:36.000 A couple of them moved.

01:31:37.000 Well, two families I was real good friends with, they moved to Dallas.

01:31:41.000 And then another good family friend moved to Vegas.

01:31:45.000 And then another one just decided to stay.

01:31:47.000 And we all came out here together, you know, as groups of friends.

01:31:51.000 And when we were looking around Austin, I was like, fuck, Ron White lives here.

01:31:54.000 I could live here.

01:31:55.000 That was like one of the first things I thought.

01:31:57.000 I thought, if Ron lives here, at least I have Ron.

01:31:59.000 Yeah, I got a friend.

01:32:01.000 Yeah. And I was like, okay, I can't do stand-up right now anyway.

01:32:05.000 But then as soon as I moved, Tony's like, fuck it, I'm moving.

01:32:08.000 I was like, you're moving too?

01:32:09.000 And then Segura's like, I'm in.

01:32:11.000 I was like, holy shit.

01:32:12.000 And then Brian Simpson came out real early, and I didn't really know Brian well at all.

01:32:19.000 Until Tom introduced me to him.

01:32:21.000 Tom was like, dude, you gotta meet this guy.

01:32:22.000 He's so funny.

01:32:23.000 He is too, man.

01:32:24.000 He's so funny.

01:32:25.000 So he was here early too.

01:32:26.000 And then Ahsan and Derek both moved out here early.

01:32:28.000 I'm like, oh shit, we got something going on.

01:32:30.000 And then Tim Dillon bought a house out here.

01:32:32.000 I was like, oh my goodness.

01:32:34.000 What is happening?

01:32:35.000 This is crazy.

01:32:36.000 And then Duncan was like, man, fucking North Carolina.

01:32:39.000 I don't know.

01:32:39.000 I'm like, come to Texas, motherfucker.

01:32:41.000 And then all of a sudden, Duncan's out here.

01:32:42.000 I'm like, holy shit.

01:32:45.000 Holy shit.

01:32:46.000 This is crazy.

01:32:47.000 I'm like, alright, we're up and running.

01:32:49.000 And by the time we decided to make that club, fuck, we had like 10 great guys living here.

01:32:54.000 And more were coming.

01:32:56.000 And they're still coming.

01:32:57.000 Yeah, Dylan, Tony, there's so many different guys from the store that used to work at the store all the time.

01:33:03.000 Yeah, I roped Tony in, man.

01:33:05.000 I'm like, we need Tony here.

01:33:07.000 I gave him my fucking condo and let him use one of my Range Rovers to go out to Dallas.

01:33:13.000 I'm like, yeah, live here for a week.

01:33:14.000 I don't know where I was, but you spend a week here, you'll go, yeah, this is doable.

01:33:20.000 Well, we all were so excited because it felt like we were doing something different.

01:33:24.000 Yeah. You know?

01:33:25.000 I felt like we were doing something different.

01:33:27.000 I've always had this fuck it part of me.

01:33:29.000 I was like, fuck it, let's go.

01:33:32.000 That's me.

01:33:33.000 I love doing that.

01:33:34.000 You do.

01:33:35.000 You're impetuous as fuck.

01:33:37.000 I like it.

01:33:38.000 From the time you told me you were gonna, I'm gonna move there, you had a house like two days later.

01:33:43.000 I'm like, god damn, this guy moves when he moves.

01:33:46.000 Yeah. My kids helped a lot.

01:33:49.000 Because they really wanted to move.

01:33:50.000 That sweet-ass place on the lake, that's good living over there.

01:33:55.000 It's also like when we came here, no one had masks on, and everybody was acting normal.

01:34:00.000 And so my kids were like, what's going on?

01:34:01.000 How come everyone's normal here?

01:34:03.000 We should live here.

01:34:05.000 And then it just happened.

01:34:09.000 And then all of a sudden, the stores closed so I could get all the employees.

01:34:13.000 And then I was like, look, I'll pay you now.

01:34:15.000 You don't have to work.

01:34:16.000 Just hang out.

01:34:17.000 Yeah. We're going to do something special.

01:34:21.000 That was more money than you were thinking.

01:34:23.000 It was, but it...

01:34:24.000 Money is fun coupons.

01:34:27.000 Yeah, fun tickets, that's right.

01:34:28.000 That's what it's supposed to be.

01:34:29.000 If you're not having fun and you have money, you're doing something wrong.

01:34:34.000 Because you should be trying to have fun and sometimes some things...

01:34:38.000 You have to pay for in order to have fun.

01:34:41.000 A lot of fun is free.

01:34:42.000 But there's a lot of fun where you go like, oh, we've got to buy a building.

01:34:46.000 We have to hire an architect.

01:34:47.000 We have to pay a construction crew.

01:34:49.000 We have to do a lot of things.

01:34:52.000 But that's the way to do it.

01:34:54.000 That's what you're supposed to do.

01:34:55.000 And I was the person who was able to do it.

01:34:57.000 Because the universe had decided that this thing wanted to get made.

01:35:02.000 And we hit every green light.

01:35:04.000 And then I was like, okay, well, clearly this is the thing I'm supposed to do.

01:35:08.000 I know it sounds crazy, but let's go.

01:35:11.000 But the whole thing was crazy.

01:35:14.000 It was in the middle of the biggest deal I'd ever done, ever, in my whole life.

01:35:20.000 Spotify. This crazy thing.

01:35:22.000 The show was already the number one show.

01:35:25.000 What does that feel like?

01:35:27.000 Bananas. But I was also like, you have to figure out what you're going to do.

01:35:35.000 You have to be...

01:35:37.000 You can't be at the whim of all these other people's ideas and expectations.

01:35:42.000 Like, what do you want to do?

01:35:43.000 It's like, I want to get the fuck out of LA.

01:35:44.000 So let's do it.

01:35:45.000 So I moved in the middle of everything.

01:35:48.000 So there's this giant deal I have and all of a sudden they're like, where are you going?

01:35:52.000 I bet they were.

01:35:53.000 I'm going to Texas.

01:35:54.000 They're like, don't go to Texas.

01:35:55.000 This is crazy.

01:35:57.000 Like, are you sure you won't be able to get guests?

01:35:59.000 I'm like, look, I'm flying guests in three times a week anyway.

01:36:02.000 Right. I was already flying people in from New Mexico and New York.

01:36:07.000 And New York's closer than...

01:36:09.000 It's a great spot, really.

01:36:11.000 Right. It's not like a six-hour flight.

01:36:13.000 That six-hour flight across the whole country is a pain in the ass.

01:36:16.000 The people were worn out by the time they got there, so they had to have a night to rest and relax and rehydrate.

01:36:23.000 And then the next day, maybe, you know, still they're probably not 100%.

01:36:28.000 This is like three hours.

01:36:29.000 A three-hour flight ain't shit.

01:36:31.000 It's a three-hour flight from everywhere.

01:36:33.000 It's easy.

01:36:34.000 It's a great spot.

01:36:35.000 Yeah, but it's also like I feel like sometimes the universe calls you in a way and tells you, just like gives you a feeling.

01:36:45.000 I think ideas are like a life form.

01:36:48.000 I really do.

01:36:49.000 I think it's like an unexplored life form.

01:36:52.000 I think that's why the concept of the muse is so enticing to people.

01:36:57.000 Because there's something real to it.

01:36:58.000 Like when you decide you're just going to sit there and write.

01:37:02.000 It doesn't always come.

01:37:04.000 Sometimes you get nothing.

01:37:05.000 But sometimes, because you sat there, you'll have some of the best lines you've ever written.

01:37:10.000 Because I think they're like life forms that you have to call into your life.

01:37:14.000 And I think sometimes...

01:37:16.000 These life forms, these ideas, they just exist in the ether.

01:37:20.000 And by circumstance, they kind of gel together and become more valid and more alive.

01:37:27.000 And then they enter into your mind.

01:37:29.000 And if you're ready to receive these ideas, you have to act on them.

01:37:34.000 Especially if they're positive.

01:37:35.000 I'm not saying, you know, go fucking build up the Capitol building because you have an idea.

01:37:39.000 I mean, positive ideas, not vengeful.

01:37:42.000 If you have a good...

01:37:44.000 A good soul.

01:37:45.000 If your goal in life is a positive thing, these ideas will come to you.

01:37:50.000 If you can, you're supposed to act on them.

01:37:53.000 And I felt like, wow, what a unique opportunity I have to be able to do this.

01:37:57.000 I shouldn't be scared because it's daunting and it's expensive and it's like, what are you doing?

01:38:02.000 Just do it.

01:38:03.000 Just do what you do.

01:38:06.000 Here's one thing that I believe.

01:38:07.000 I believe that...

01:38:09.000 Things disguise themselves and we call them coincidences.

01:38:13.000 But there really are no coincidences.

01:38:15.000 And if you'll look for things that look like coincidences, you can follow that line and go somewhere with it.

01:38:21.000 And I feel like that's what happened whenever the mass exodus and people started coming to comedy.

01:38:29.000 To make this the best comedy scene in the world.

01:38:33.000 Yeah. Those things fell into place because that's what was supposed to happen.

01:38:38.000 And I think it all happened because of me.

01:38:42.000 In that, I needed it the worst.

01:38:45.000 I needed this more than anybody else did.

01:38:48.000 And I feel like I was able to cash in all my fucking karma or whatever and draw it all into me a little bit.

01:38:56.000 Because I needed it.

01:38:58.000 Well, it makes sense.

01:39:01.000 Like, it's certainly a huge factor, right?

01:39:03.000 Because if you didn't inspire me to even think about Austin, I wouldn't have.

01:39:07.000 And I wouldn't have moved here if you weren't here, I don't think.

01:39:10.000 Maybe I would have, but it helped a lot that you were here.

01:39:12.000 I was like, this makes it so much easier that I know Ron's here.

01:39:16.000 Because it was weird times then, man.

01:39:18.000 Even going to a restaurant, you felt like you were a rebel.

01:39:21.000 It felt weird.

01:39:22.000 It felt weird to not be scared.

01:39:24.000 You wanted to hide the fact that you weren't scared, that you wanted to just go out.

01:39:29.000 It was a strange, strange, strange time that I think even now we look back on and we can't...

01:39:36.000 I watched a...

01:39:38.000 UFC fight the other day, an older fight, and all the corner men had masks on.

01:39:43.000 I'm like, this is the craziest thing that we went through.

01:39:46.000 That's a big time stamp right there.

01:39:48.000 It's bizarre.

01:39:49.000 It was a fight that took place in an arena in Florida with no crowd.

01:39:55.000 No crowd.

01:39:57.000 It was Justin Gaethje versus Tony Ferguson.

01:40:00.000 It was one of the first fights we did back.

01:40:03.000 It was like...

01:40:04.000 And you were there?

01:40:05.000 Uh-huh.

01:40:05.000 Yeah. And I was watching the fight the other day.

01:40:10.000 And I was looking at the corner man.

01:40:11.000 They all had masks on.

01:40:12.000 I was like, what a weird fucking time.

01:40:14.000 I remember people would get upset if I didn't wear a mask backstage.

01:40:19.000 I'm like, what are we doing?

01:40:20.000 What is this for?

01:40:21.000 Like, this is crazy.

01:40:22.000 These guys are beating the fuck out of each other and sweating on each other.

01:40:25.000 You know, and all of us tested negative.

01:40:27.000 That's how we got through here.

01:40:29.000 Like, is someone magically going to get COVID while we're all wandering around together?

01:40:33.000 Don't we all test negative?

01:40:35.000 So to get in this room, they had to be able to test you.

01:40:38.000 Everybody got tested.

01:40:39.000 Like those shows that you did with Chappelle.

01:40:41.000 Exactly. So we're all in this room.

01:40:42.000 Take that fucking stupid mask off.

01:40:44.000 But even the shows we did with Chappelle, outside the people were supposed to wear masks.

01:40:49.000 Outside. Outside, everyone's tested.

01:40:52.000 Is this a mystery, magical disease that we're encountering?

01:40:56.000 Like demons hiding in the woods for you?

01:41:00.000 But it was, too, at one time, wasn't it?

01:41:03.000 You know, I lost Vic Henley to that disease in New York City early on.

01:41:08.000 But Vic was not a healthy guy.

01:41:10.000 What the disease did is exposed metabolic health problems.

01:41:16.000 I'll admit that.

01:41:18.000 I mean, he was a raging alcoholic, and he knew it, and I knew he was really considering...

01:41:24.000 Making some changes in his life, you know, that he was talking to me about.

01:41:28.000 And then, boom, you know, gone.

01:41:31.000 So in that sense, yes, it was.

01:41:34.000 But it wasn't in the sense where all these healthy people who have been tested are wearing...

01:41:40.000 No, no, no, that's ridiculous.

01:41:42.000 Especially the athletes and the fighters.

01:41:44.000 Like, what we would have to do is if one of the corner men got COVID, even if the fighter didn't have COVID, the fighter was pulled from the card.

01:41:53.000 So one of the cornermen tests positive for COVID because the fighter had been around him, even if he's negative.

01:41:58.000 We treated it different than we treated anything ever.

01:42:01.000 And especially for the fighters, it had like, it was not going to have an effect on them unless they did.

01:42:06.000 There's one guy did have an effect on.

01:42:08.000 He got COVID really, really bad.

01:42:10.000 But it's because they kept training.

01:42:13.000 These guys kept training while they had COVID.

01:42:16.000 A lot of these guys, they don't give a fuck.

01:42:18.000 They have the flu.

01:42:19.000 Who cares?

01:42:19.000 They're showing up at the gym.

01:42:20.000 It's part of being an animal.

01:42:22.000 It's like you'll show up sick and you'll train through a...

01:42:25.000 But you shouldn't do that.

01:42:26.000 You're just breaking your immune system down further, and especially if you're in camp.

01:42:31.000 So being in camp for a fighter is very different than regular working out.

01:42:36.000 Being in camp for a fighter is you are...

01:42:39.000 Basically, redlining your body, trying to get it to recover, like, trying to get it to keep pace so you can get to a superhuman level that's only achievable after, like, a 12-week camp,

01:42:54.000 and you could only hold onto it for a couple weeks.

01:42:58.000 They know when you're peaking sometimes and they'll back a fighter off.

01:43:02.000 They'll go, we're done today.

01:43:04.000 You're peaking too early.

01:43:06.000 You don't want to overdo it.

01:43:08.000 So you want to back off your training when you're feeling absolutely perfect and get yourself just slow down.

01:43:16.000 We're a little too soon.

01:43:18.000 Like a really good trainer knows when you're peaking.

01:43:21.000 But you can't maintain it forever.

01:43:23.000 It's really only for...

01:43:24.000 That's why it's so crazy that a lot of these guys, they'll accept a fight on like 10 days notice.

01:43:29.000 Like, that's nuts.

01:43:30.000 That's nuts.

01:43:31.000 You need to be peaking.

01:43:33.000 You need to be like, you're going to fight in a fucking cage.

01:43:36.000 And I know you're doing this as a financial decision, but that's why Jon Jones is the smartest.

01:43:41.000 Jon Jones never did that.

01:43:42.000 They changed opponents.

01:43:43.000 Fuck you.

01:43:44.000 Fights off.

01:43:45.000 Even guys like Chael Sonnen, who eventually stomped.

01:43:50.000 In the first round.

01:43:51.000 Like, absolutely destroyed.

01:43:52.000 It was not even remotely competitive.

01:43:55.000 It was an annihilation.

01:43:57.000 It would have been an annihilation 365 days a year for decades.

01:44:01.000 It wouldn't have mattered how good Jon Jones is and as great as Chael Sonnen is.

01:44:05.000 Jon Jones was the bigger man.

01:44:07.000 Chael had fought at 185 pounds.

01:44:09.000 Jon was a big 205 and he was the most talented guy that ever fought in the sport.

01:44:12.000 And he's going to win every time.

01:44:13.000 But when they changed the opponent and they tried to make it Chael Sonnen, he's like, nope.

01:44:16.000 Nope. We do things the right way.

01:44:18.000 I go through a full camp.

01:44:20.000 That's it.

01:44:21.000 Fight's off.

01:44:23.000 Everybody's like, ah, because they want you to play ball.

01:44:25.000 Get in.

01:44:25.000 We need a new guy.

01:44:26.000 But look, to this day, everybody says he's the GOAT.

01:44:30.000 Well, why is he the GOAT?

01:44:31.000 Because he did everything the right way.

01:44:32.000 He knew, especially when he wasn't partying, he did everything the wrong way, too.

01:44:37.000 I mean, he did a lot of partying and still beat the fuck out of everybody because he was that good, because he was that talented.

01:44:42.000 One of the craziest things he ever said, Daniel Cormier, when they were having a rematch.

01:44:46.000 They were talking shit in the press conference.

01:44:48.000 And Daniel Tormier said something to Jon.

01:44:50.000 Jon goes, I beat you when I was on coke.

01:44:55.000 It is the craziest statement.

01:44:58.000 Because he says it and you're like, oh shit.

01:45:01.000 And it's true. 0.56

01:45:03.000 It's true.

01:45:03.000 That's how good Jon was.

01:45:04.000 But if you try to change opponents, Jon's like, uh-uh.

01:45:08.000 Try to call Jon Jones in for a late notice fight on five days notice.

01:45:13.000 He'll tell you to go fuck yourself.

01:45:14.000 Nope. I'd rather hang out at home with my dog.

01:45:17.000 He's not doing it.

01:45:19.000 So these guys, when they're peaking, they're vulnerable.

01:45:24.000 They get sick a lot, especially when they're cutting weight, because you're redlining your body, and you can overdo it, and guys overdo it all the time.

01:45:31.000 They overtrain.

01:45:32.000 They just break themselves down.

01:45:34.000 They've kept too much pace and not enough recovery, and they're declining and declining and declining.

01:45:40.000 They show up at the gym, they have no energy, and you're like, fuck.

01:45:43.000 And if you get a guy to the fight that's overtrained, it's horrible.

01:45:47.000 It's horrible to watch.

01:45:48.000 I've seen it many times.

01:45:50.000 The guys just can't recover.

01:45:51.000 They're too tired.

01:45:52.000 They overdid it.

01:45:53.000 They were too tough for their own good.

01:45:55.000 So one of those guys got COVID.

01:45:57.000 This guy Hamza Chamayev.

01:45:58.000 And this motherfucker is a psychopath.

01:46:01.000 He's a savage.

01:46:02.000 Like one of the most savage guys that's ever fought in the sport.

01:46:05.000 And he just kept training.

01:46:06.000 Just kept training.

01:46:07.000 This motherfucker trains like eight hours a day. 0.98

01:46:09.000 He trains like a wolverine.

01:46:11.000 He's an animal.

01:46:12.000 He was training with COVID and he kept getting real sick.

01:46:16.000 Went up getting hospitalized, coughing up blood, gets out, goes right back to it.

01:46:21.000 Same thing.

01:46:21.000 Hospitalized again.

01:46:22.000 He got hospitalized like twice because he wouldn't stop training because he's that psychotic.

01:46:28.000 But other than him, regular athletes that get it, they just take a few days off.

01:46:32.000 Daniel Cormier had COVID.

01:46:35.000 I didn't get off the couch the whole time I had COVID.

01:46:53.000 So just imagine those level of athletes and we're worried about it so much that everybody has to wear a mask Like shut the fuck up Right.

01:47:01.000 This is nuts so all that had to happen to where I

01:47:05.000 We were the reckless ones.

01:47:09.000 We were the ones that, like, I'm not buying this.

01:47:11.000 I'm going to live my life.

01:47:12.000 I'm going to Texas.

01:47:13.000 And there was a lot of people that were really mad.

01:47:15.000 They're like, what are you doing?

01:47:16.000 You're not scared.

01:47:16.000 What are you doing?

01:47:17.000 You're doing Chosen Doors.

01:47:19.000 You're killing people.

01:47:20.000 Blood is on your hands.

01:47:22.000 There was a frothy mess of people that were just all caught up in this psyop.

01:47:31.000 They were just the, you know, and it was great.

01:47:34.000 Not good, really.

01:47:35.000 But it was great in that it exposed these fragile thinkers.

01:47:41.000 So many fragile minds.

01:47:44.000 They couldn't see the forest for the trees.

01:47:48.000 They couldn't see it.

01:47:50.000 And when we all came out here and we said, we see it.

01:47:53.000 Like, this is bullshit.

01:47:55.000 Yeah, yeah, it'll make you sick.

01:47:57.000 Yeah, you'll have to be at home for a week.

01:47:59.000 Yeah, get vitamin drips.

01:48:01.000 You'll be alright.

01:48:02.000 Like, yeah.

01:48:03.000 This is what we're dealing with, for real.

01:48:05.000 And a lot of people agreed.

01:48:09.000 And then it turns out we were right.

01:48:11.000 It turns out we were right.

01:48:12.000 At the end of the day, we were correct.

01:48:14.000 We were correct to want to live our lives.

01:48:17.000 We all went back to live our lives.

01:48:19.000 Too soon!

01:48:20.000 Says who? 0.65

01:48:21.000 Says who? 0.65

01:48:22.000 The fucking government that's been lying to you about this disease the entire time?

01:48:26.000 It's hard to even look back on it and realize that it happened.

01:48:29.000 You know, that it really fucking happened.

01:48:31.000 That we were locked up.

01:48:33.000 Locked down.

01:48:34.000 It's not good.

01:48:35.000 Because it's like when you find out your friend's a bitch and then you have to count on him again in the future. 1.00

01:48:41.000 You're like, dude, don't fall apart on me here.

01:48:44.000 Show up.

01:48:46.000 Don't get scared.

01:48:47.000 I need help.

01:48:48.000 You find out your friend...

01:48:51.000 ...falls apart under pressure.

01:48:53.000 You're like, oh, great.

01:48:54.000 Why are you crying, Mike?

01:48:55.000 What are we doing?

01:48:56.000 Don't cry.

01:48:57.000 This is crazy.

01:48:59.000 Now you can't count on Mike, because Mike falls apart when Chick gets hot. 0.99

01:49:03.000 And this is how it feels like a good percentage of the country.

01:49:08.000 It was a joke from my last special, but I really feel this way.

01:49:13.000 We lost a lot of people during COVID, and most of them are still alive.

01:49:17.000 I wrote that line thinking about specific friends.

01:49:21.000 It's like, what did you think was going on?

01:49:24.000 What did you think was going on?

01:49:25.000 Yeah, it's a disease.

01:49:27.000 But since when have you changed your entire fucking life for years for a disease?

01:49:33.000 This is nuts.

01:49:34.000 Since when have you listened to the entire government tell you you can't have outdoor dining because of a disease?

01:49:40.000 Like, a disease you've already had?

01:49:43.000 You've already gotten through it and they're still telling you this?

01:49:45.000 We're a year and a half into this fucking thing?

01:49:49.000 And so we were right.

01:49:50.000 And so many people, because we were right, so many people also came.

01:49:54.000 And that's the beautiful thing.

01:49:56.000 It's like people speak with their actions and the people that are willing to make a leap like that, those are the ones you want there.

01:50:03.000 Those are the ones, like we got the best of the best.

01:50:05.000 We got the most fuck you of the fuck you people. 1.00

01:50:10.000 Because comedians are fuck you people.

01:50:11.000 They are.

01:50:12.000 Something happens in society like, hey man, fuck you.

01:50:14.000 Right. You know?

01:50:15.000 Or eat a steaming bowl of fuck.

01:50:17.000 Eat a steaming bowl of fuck.

01:50:18.000 No matter what it is.

01:50:19.000 You know?

01:50:21.000 And the world needs that.

01:50:24.000 I need that.

01:50:25.000 I need that.

01:50:26.000 I need you here.

01:50:27.000 I need Tony.

01:50:27.000 I need people like that.

01:50:29.000 The same way that you did.

01:50:30.000 The way we all sort of collectively manifested it together.

01:50:35.000 But without you, we wouldn't be here.

01:50:37.000 Yeah, so you guys come on down to Austin, Texas and check out the mothership and see how much fun we're having if you don't believe it.

01:50:43.000 If you think we're making this shit up.

01:50:45.000 Because of you, I also almost bought the cult house.

01:50:48.000 Yeah, right.

01:50:49.000 That would have been...

01:50:50.000 We would have made it happen.

01:50:52.000 People say, yeah, that would have been horrible.

01:50:54.000 It wouldn't have been horrible.

01:50:56.000 No, it would have been amazing.

01:50:56.000 Because it was a cool place.

01:51:00.000 It was...

01:51:01.000 It would have been amazing.

01:51:02.000 Yeah, it would have been amazing.

01:51:03.000 It would have been amazing.

01:51:04.000 It's an amazing spot, and it's hilarious that a cult used to...

01:51:08.000 I feel terrible for all the people that were roped into building it.

01:51:12.000 You were doing that piece that was so funny and you quit doing it.

01:51:16.000 You didn't do that on your special, did you?

01:51:17.000 No, I didn't.

01:51:17.000 No, that was so funny.

01:51:19.000 Yeah, it's a true story.

01:51:20.000 Remember I gave you that line that it's okay to hypnotize people and buttfuck them because it falls under the category of I talked them into it.

01:51:29.000 Yeah, it's basically the same thing.

01:51:30.000 That's not illegal at all.

01:51:32.000 I talked the guy into letting me fuck him in the ass. 0.98

01:51:35.000 It's kind of technically not illegal.

01:51:37.000 With a watch going back and forth in front of his face.

01:51:40.000 That's not illegal.

01:51:41.000 That's not drugs.

01:51:42.000 The guy was a hypnotist and a gay porn star. 0.98

01:51:44.000 Like, what a combo.

01:51:45.000 Right. And then when they found the gay porn...

01:51:48.000 You watched the documentary, right?

01:51:50.000 The documentary's incredible.

01:51:51.000 But Ron...

01:51:54.000 For the people at home.

01:51:56.000 Ron had performed at this.

01:51:57.000 So you had performed at that place.

01:51:59.000 I fucking love that theater.

01:52:00.000 You should buy that place.

01:52:01.000 And then it was for sale.

01:52:02.000 I was like, oh, we're in.

01:52:03.000 And then Adam Egott is the one.

01:52:05.000 He goes, have you seen that documentary that's on that cult?

01:52:08.000 I'm like, oh, no.

01:52:09.000 Oh, no, Ron White.

01:52:10.000 What have you done?

01:52:11.000 What have you done?

01:52:13.000 I watched the documentary.

01:52:14.000 I don't think I even realized it at that time that that's what that building was.

01:52:19.000 I don't think I knew that it was a cult.

01:52:22.000 Yeah. Building, whenever I first took it.

01:52:24.000 Maybe I did, I don't know.

01:52:24.000 Have you seen the videos of the guy dancing around inside the building?

01:52:27.000 Yeah, oh yeah.

01:52:27.000 That was what it was built for.

01:52:28.000 I had seen that years ago.

01:52:29.000 I mean, years and years ago.

01:52:31.000 So I knew about that anyway, but I didn't realize that that was the building.

01:52:35.000 Or maybe I'd, fuck, I don't remember.

01:52:37.000 Those are the same people wearing masks in their cars.

01:52:39.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:52:40.000 It's like, that's why you can start a cult.

01:52:43.000 If you just get everybody who wears a mask in their car, you could rope those motherfuckers into doing almost anything.

01:52:48.000 And that's how cults get started.

01:52:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:52:50.000 Now people are looking for leadership.

01:52:52.000 Well, they're also looking for community.

01:52:54.000 And they're really dumb.

01:52:55.000 Like, think about the positive aspects of the mothership, right?

01:52:58.000 Like, we're all having a good time.

01:52:59.000 Well, this is what everybody really wants.

01:53:01.000 But what if the only way you can get that is to believe Baba Kinesh over there, who changed his name, and now he wears wooden beads, and he sits in the lotus position, and everybody's got to suck his dick?

01:53:11.000 Like... I just wanted to do yoga and hang out with everybody.

01:53:16.000 Why'd I gotta suck this guy's dick?

01:53:17.000 But they kept sucking his dick. 1.00

01:53:19.000 And you know what?

01:53:20.000 They're sucking his dick somewhere else now. 0.96

01:53:22.000 In Hawaii.

01:53:23.000 You still get his dick sucked. 0.74

01:53:25.000 Some guys are just really good at getting their dick sucked.

01:53:28.000 It's like the thing where you need to be on acid to understand the Grateful Dead.

01:53:33.000 You need to be at the special frame of mind with a special 9-volt brain where you can Get talked into a cult like that.

01:53:43.000 But it happens every day.

01:53:45.000 Every day.

01:53:46.000 Every day.

01:53:46.000 Every day all throughout the country.

01:53:48.000 You know, I was talking to Mark Andreessen about this venture capitalist guy.

01:53:52.000 He's a brilliant guy.

01:53:53.000 And he was telling me that there's a ton of active cults right now in California.

01:53:57.000 Oh, yeah.

01:53:58.000 That are functioning.

01:54:00.000 Like, you only hear about the ones that wind up getting in shootouts with the feds.

01:54:04.000 There's a bunch of them that actually function.

01:54:07.000 Somehow or another, they keep it together.

01:54:09.000 You know, people leave, they tell the horror stories, and some people join.

01:54:12.000 Right. But, like, Wild Wild Country is a great example.

01:54:17.000 That Netflix documentary.

01:54:18.000 Great, yeah.

01:54:19.000 The crazy thing is, in the beginning, it looked so fun.

01:54:22.000 Yeah, it looked completely fucking doable.

01:54:24.000 So doable.

01:54:25.000 You know, our leader's got really nice fucking cars.

01:54:28.000 Look. How could he be wrong?

01:54:30.000 He can't be wrong.

01:54:31.000 He's got 20 Rolls Royces.

01:54:33.000 There's so many of them.

01:54:34.000 It's like, whatever the way that we evolved in tribal society to listen to the chief, we all have this strange desire to either be the chief or listen to the chief.

01:54:46.000 Sure. Either be the alpha or listen to the alpha.

01:54:50.000 And someone can pretend to be the chief.

01:54:52.000 They can pretend to be the chief with magical insight.

01:54:57.000 You know what the most fucked up thing about that documentary is?

01:54:59.000 The thing that still fucks with my head?

01:55:01.000 Is that that guy would do this thing to these people called the knowing.

01:55:07.000 Right. And they would orgasm.

01:55:09.000 They would literally meet God.

01:55:11.000 To this day, they all say that it was real.

01:55:14.000 That that thing actually did happen.

01:55:17.000 Like the power of suggestion.

01:55:18.000 The fact that he kept it from them for so long.

01:55:21.000 And then the one day...

01:55:23.000 Or this is your coming of age ceremony.

01:55:25.000 This is the one day you're going to get the knowing.

01:55:27.000 And he would put his hands on them and they would really experience something.

01:55:31.000 And they said it was like they were experiencing God.

01:55:35.000 It was the most bliss they had ever felt in their life and that they never felt it again.

01:55:43.000 So the circumstances and the ritual...

01:55:50.000 ...activated this innate part of our consciousness that's always there.

01:55:54.000 This ability to talk to God.

01:55:56.000 The ability to communicate with God.

01:55:58.000 Which is probably what every religion is trying to do.

01:56:01.000 It's all like this whisper of the truth that's out there in the ether, and everybody knows that it's out there.

01:56:07.000 There's something there.

01:56:09.000 I just have to figure out how to...

01:56:09.000 And this guy, this crazy gay porn star, hypnotist, butt-fucking all these dudes, still...

01:56:18.000 Even this guy was able to touch these people, and they were able to access that part of their brain.

01:56:25.000 And they were in.

01:56:26.000 They were in.

01:56:26.000 They were like, oh, we're in, man.

01:56:28.000 I'm following this guy everywhere.

01:56:29.000 This guy really is connected to God.

01:56:33.000 Well, you know, I think that prayer, I'll start with that, just with prayer, is a physical thing, not a spiritual thing.

01:56:46.000 And that's why it works for anybody.

01:56:48.000 You know, I believe it's a way to channel energy and it changes the way you feel, but it doesn't matter what you're praying to, that it's a physical transverse of injury, not a spiritual thing.

01:57:00.000 And because anybody can do it.

01:57:03.000 And also hypnosis is so powerful when it's done.

01:57:08.000 Correctly. And I know that because I've experienced hypnosis done well.

01:57:11.000 And so, boy, if you have both of those things, you know, you could have power over anybody that's stupid enough to fucking lie.

01:57:19.000 Yeah, that's the problem.

01:57:20.000 That was what they did during the Manson family, MKUltra, during those days. 0.56

01:57:26.000 This is part of the chaos book by Tom O'Neill.

01:57:30.000 It's about the Manson family, excuse me, the Manson family murders.

01:57:33.000 And one of the things that they went into is the fact that this guy who worked for the CIA at the time was part of MKUltra.

01:57:39.000 His name was Jolly West.

01:57:40.000 And Jolly West is this figure all throughout the counterculture resistance movement that the federal government had sort of concocted.

01:58:00.000 This guy visited Manson in jail.

01:58:03.000 Then Manson would get out of jail, and Manson would get in trouble, get arrested, and then get released.

01:58:09.000 And the sheriffs all say, it's over my pay grade.

01:58:12.000 They were all told to let him go.

01:58:14.000 And so he was implicated in murders and violent crimes, and they always let him go.

01:58:19.000 They always had to let him go.

01:58:20.000 And he was getting acid.

01:58:21.000 And he had sophisticated methods of manipulating minds.

01:58:26.000 It wasn't as simple as, like, This is a charismatic dude and they all want to cut a baby out of fucking Sharon Tate's stomach.

01:58:32.000 No. It was way crazier than that.

01:58:34.000 It was sophisticated mind control from MKUltra.

01:58:38.000 And they wanted to see if they could get people to become homicidal maniacs.

01:58:43.000 And they were right.

01:58:43.000 They could.

01:58:44.000 They knew how to do it.

01:58:45.000 They used it.

01:58:46.000 And they got Manson to do it.

01:58:48.000 And it threw water on this whole anti-war hippie movement.

01:58:52.000 All that peace love shit.

01:58:54.000 Now hippies are murderers. 0.98

01:58:57.000 Now hippies are Charles Manson. 0.98

01:58:58.000 Now, you know, your kid wants to just, like, fucking paint flowers and show up at Grateful Dead shows.

01:59:06.000 No, your kid's a murderer.

01:59:07.000 Your kid's a fucking... 1.00

01:59:08.000 All the hippies are suspects now.

01:59:11.000 It worked.

01:59:12.000 It was a fascinating thing they did.

01:59:15.000 Like, the way they threw water on this movement that was happening, like, in 1970, there's this...

01:59:25.000 Just threw it down and put Schedule 1 on everything.

01:59:28.000 If the Nixon administration hadn't done that in 1970, who knows what the world looks like today?

01:59:35.000 Like, who knows?

01:59:36.000 Who knows if you can get Ibogaine and Ayahuasca in America, if psilocybin had stayed legal?

01:59:41.000 It was made illegal in 1970.

01:59:45.000 All that stuff became Schedule 1 in 1970.

01:59:49.000 Marijuana was always illegal.

01:59:51.000 It was illegal from, like, the 1930s.

01:59:54.000 And that was because it was a textile, and that was because it was a commodity.

01:59:58.000 It had almost nothing to do with the drug itself.

02:00:02.000 They were trying to outlaw hemp.

02:00:04.000 They were worried because they had come out with a new way to process hemp fiber.

02:00:08.000 It's called a decorticator.

02:00:10.000 They invented this thing.

02:00:12.000 Big thing.

02:00:12.000 Popular Science Magazine, hemp, the new billion dollar crop.

02:00:17.000 It was like they were saying, we're all going to use hemp now because now there's an effective way to process the fibers and they're superior to everything else.

02:00:25.000 Make superior paper, superior cloth, superior everything.

02:00:28.000 Much, much, much, much better plant.

02:00:31.000 And William Randolph Hearst was like, fuck that.

02:00:35.000 So William Randolph Hearst starts publishing stories in his newspapers about how blacks and Mexicans are taking this new drug called marijuana.

02:00:44.000 They invented the name.

02:00:46.000 It was a wild Mexican tobacco.

02:00:49.000 That's what marijuana used to be. 0.96

02:00:50.000 It was slang for a wild Mexican tobacco.

02:00:53.000 So they put that name on cannabis, something that people had had forever.

02:00:57.000 People have been smoking it forever.

02:00:59.000 It was literally...

02:01:00.000 The origin of the term canvas...

02:01:02.000 Comes from cannabis?

02:01:05.000 Yes! Oh, I didn't know that.

02:01:06.000 It's all hemp.

02:01:07.000 If you look at the Mona Lisa, those are all painted on hemp.

02:01:09.000 The first draft of the Declaration of Independence was written on hemp.

02:01:14.000 Hemp was a far superior paper.

02:01:16.000 It's really difficult to tear.

02:01:18.000 It's a crazy fiber.

02:01:19.000 Hey, can we put this on pause for a second?

02:01:22.000 Huh? You got a piss?

02:01:23.000 Can we put it on pause for a second?

02:01:25.000 Yeah. Okay.

02:01:27.000 So, ladies and gentlemen, Ron White had a moment there where the cold came back, the sickness came back.

02:01:34.000 Yeah, that was a moment.

02:01:38.000 That was a moment.

02:01:39.000 I don't know what that was.

02:01:41.000 Well, I was over here blabbing about the illegalization of weed and how crazy it is, and we were talking about ayahuasca and all those things, and all of a sudden...

02:01:49.000 You just got a little pale.

02:01:51.000 Yeah, I got a little pale and started sweating.

02:01:53.000 I don't know what it is.

02:01:54.000 I just got a little sick.

02:01:55.000 I feel a little better now.

02:01:56.000 I had a nice yak.

02:02:00.000 How long has this sickness been with you?

02:02:03.000 I felt fine all day.

02:02:05.000 I felt fine yesterday.

02:02:06.000 I played golf.

02:02:09.000 Has this happened before, though, where it just comes on out of nowhere?

02:02:12.000 No, this has been the first time.

02:02:14.000 So maybe it's like a...

02:02:15.000 Maybe it's another thing.

02:02:16.000 Like a food poisoning thing or something?

02:02:18.000 Fuck, I don't know.

02:02:19.000 I don't know what it is.

02:02:21.000 Wow. And you've had a couple IVs, right?

02:02:23.000 I had two last week.

02:02:26.000 And I'll go home and get another one.

02:02:28.000 I'm sure I'll be fine in just a little bit.

02:02:31.000 Damn. I'm sure I'll be cool.

02:02:32.000 Damn. And you played golf?

02:02:37.000 Yeah, played golf with my son.

02:02:38.000 Had a great time.

02:02:40.000 It's a nice day to play golf, too.

02:02:44.000 Absolutely. One of the things we have out here in Texas is real weather.

02:02:48.000 I love it when it rains and everything's so green and pretty.

02:02:52.000 You need to go down to Costa Rica.

02:02:54.000 I do need to go down to Costa Rica.

02:02:56.000 Stay in your neighbor's place. 0.96

02:02:59.000 I do need to go.

02:03:00.000 It's the sweetest thing that I've ever seen.

02:03:05.000 My big pet peeve is when people say it's the best thing you've ever seen.

02:03:08.000 I'm like, this is the best thing you've ever seen, buddy.

02:03:10.000 I've seen some shit, you know.

02:03:12.000 I've seen some shit.

02:03:14.000 Exactly. Like, what are you saying?

02:03:16.000 I've seen so many things.

02:03:18.000 But that place down there, it's another driftwood, or kind of like driftwood.

02:03:24.000 Yeah. It is fucking gorgeous.

02:03:27.000 I heard that Driftwood place is amazing.

02:03:29.000 It's the best, man.

02:03:31.000 It's so pretty right now.

02:03:33.000 They blow in a bunch of wildflowers all over it.

02:03:36.000 It's just fucking gorgeous.

02:03:38.000 It's a great golf course.

02:03:39.000 I almost wish I played golf.

02:03:41.000 It's a waste of time and money.

02:03:44.000 I know you don't have time.

02:03:47.000 I would love it, I'm sure.

02:03:51.000 We should probably wrap this up because you're not feeling...

02:03:55.000 That good, right?

02:03:56.000 I feel a little better.

02:03:57.000 You're alright?

02:03:57.000 Yeah, I'm okay.

02:03:59.000 You keep rolling a little?

02:03:59.000 A little bit, yeah.

02:04:01.000 Okay, alright.

02:04:02.000 Well, it's just when someone gets sick like that, you don't know what to do.

02:04:08.000 Fuck yeah, I don't know what to do, but I swear I feel better.

02:04:11.000 I don't feel hot anymore.

02:04:13.000 It's so weird.

02:04:15.000 It's so weird.

02:04:16.000 Like, what is that?

02:04:17.000 I just need to get something out of my stomach real quick, I think.

02:04:20.000 Crazy. Quickest way to do it.

02:04:23.000 It's just crazy that something's been, like, you know, you have a little invader in your body.

02:04:27.000 Yeah. That you're fighting off.

02:04:29.000 That's what we're doing all the time, fighting off these invaders.

02:04:32.000 Yeah, I'm still coming to the club tonight.

02:04:33.000 Okay. I'm going to get a drip and come do a set.

02:04:37.000 Of course.

02:04:38.000 This will be fun tonight.

02:04:39.000 It's Cam Patterson's show tonight.

02:04:41.000 Oh, good.

02:04:41.000 Good. That's an exciting time.

02:04:46.000 It really is.

02:04:47.000 And the world is so chaotic right now, which is great for comedy.

02:04:50.000 Whenever the world's fucked up, comedy's at its best.

02:04:54.000 Gaza and Palestine and fucking Ukraine and tariffs. 0.88

02:05:02.000 It's great to come out and do some comedy.

02:05:05.000 You know what?

02:05:07.000 I stay away from all of it.

02:05:10.000 Of that subject matter or any politic or anything like that.

02:05:14.000 And the reason is you know I know my crowd.

02:05:20.000 I know what they want.

02:05:21.000 And they want to laugh really hard.

02:05:24.000 And I think that I've always taken a position as I'm just not going to bring that into it.

02:05:30.000 I'm going to let us do something.

02:05:31.000 I love it when other people do that are really good at it and it's fun to watch and it's entertaining as fuck.

02:05:38.000 But I decided a long time ago that I'm just going to go out there and make them laugh as hard as I can make them laugh and let them have some time off from tragedy or whatever.

02:05:49.000 And I'm not that good at it anyway.

02:05:52.000 I've never been a political commentator, right?

02:05:56.000 So why be one now?

02:05:57.000 Well, the problem with politics is you're going to alienate 50% of the crowd.

02:06:02.000 Dead split.

02:06:04.000 Dead split.

02:06:05.000 And if you're one of those people that takes a stand on stage, you're like, okay, great.

02:06:09.000 Right.

02:06:10.000 It's silly.

02:06:15.000 What you have to say is so good that you can make someone laugh.

02:06:19.000 Oh, if you're good enough.

02:06:20.000 If you're good enough.

02:06:22.000 Right. You know, I saw people try to take on 9-11 right after 9-11, but I only saw like one person.

02:06:31.000 If you're good enough to write about that, then write about it.

02:06:35.000 But if you're not good enough to write about it, leave it the fuck alone.

02:06:38.000 Leave it the fuck alone.

02:06:38.000 That's some black belt material.

02:06:40.000 Some skill level whatever.

02:06:43.000 You know Mitzi Shore wouldn't let Brian Holtzman on stage for two weeks after 9-11?

02:06:47.000 No, I didn't know that.

02:06:50.000 She's like, no way.

02:06:52.000 Keep him off the stage.

02:06:54.000 Holtzman couldn't wait to say something fucking completely outrageous.

02:07:00.000 Whatever that demon inside of him that comes out when he's on stage.

02:07:04.000 Yeah, I don't understand him.

02:07:06.000 You know, I really don't.

02:07:07.000 I love him to death, but he's such an original character.

02:07:11.000 The most.

02:07:12.000 He's from a different time.

02:07:14.000 It's like he was brought here from another dimension.

02:07:16.000 He's like a different thing.

02:07:17.000 Even the way he dresses.

02:07:18.000 It's like he's from the 50s.

02:07:20.000 Right. And he's like my age.

02:07:22.000 Like he's not...

02:07:24.000 He was like that when I met him.

02:07:26.000 He was from a different era when I met him in 94. Oh, you've known him that long?

02:07:31.000 Yeah, I'm like, where is this fucking guy from?

02:07:33.000 You're from a different time.

02:07:35.000 People fucking love him though, man.

02:07:37.000 He's got a crowd now.

02:07:38.000 Yeah, he does.

02:07:39.000 That's the difference between the way he was treated at the store.

02:07:42.000 Unfortunately, he fell into this through nobody's fault.

02:07:47.000 But it was like everybody waited until the end when Holtzman would go up.

02:07:51.000 But why have him on in the end?

02:07:53.000 Have him on when the crowd's hot.

02:07:56.000 Don't put him on at 1 in the morning.

02:07:58.000 Put him on at 10. Let's see when the crowd is popping.

02:08:02.000 Let him cook when the crowd's popping.

02:08:05.000 And now he sells out.

02:08:07.000 People come to see him in the headlines.

02:08:09.000 People get excited.

02:08:11.000 He's a maniac.

02:08:13.000 And he's got a crowd now.

02:08:14.000 He's got a legitimate draw.

02:08:16.000 They get it.

02:08:16.000 Yeah, they get it.

02:08:18.000 It's nice.

02:08:19.000 It's fun.

02:08:22.000 That's also the difference between when a comedy club is run by a comic.

02:08:26.000 You know, because Holtzman has always been a comic for comics.

02:08:30.000 You know, we all would go to see Holtzman at the end of the night when he was doing these insane sets for 15 people in the main room.

02:08:36.000 Right. But now, like, we're running the shows.

02:08:38.000 Like, give him a fucking weekend.

02:08:40.000 Let's go.

02:08:41.000 Give him a Thursday night.

02:08:42.000 Let's go.

02:08:43.000 Let's have some fun.

02:08:44.000 Especially the 10 p.m. shows.

02:08:46.000 He does a lot of Thursdays.

02:08:47.000 Yeah, especially 10 p.m. shows.

02:08:49.000 That's the best time to see him.

02:08:51.000 When it's late and you've had a couple of cocktails.

02:08:54.000 Right. You feel a little crazy about the world?

02:08:56.000 Yeah. Let that guy. 1.00

02:08:58.000 Let that guy loose. 0.97

02:09:00.000 You understand it's a joke?

02:09:01.000 Yeah, you get jokes.

02:09:03.000 You get someone saying something that he doesn't really mean.

02:09:05.000 Right. It's completely ridiculous to say.

02:09:08.000 Yeah, that's part of the fun.

02:09:09.000 Yeah. Yeah.

02:09:10.000 And then he acts like he means it and you buy into it.

02:09:13.000 No, it's a joke still.

02:09:15.000 But every now and then he'll show you behind the curtain.

02:09:17.000 Yeah. Every now and then he'll give you a little peek and you're like, okay.

02:09:21.000 Yeah. This is an act.

02:09:23.000 He's having fun.

02:09:24.000 He is.

02:09:25.000 He's having a good time.

02:09:26.000 And he loves Austin, too.

02:09:27.000 I see him walking around downtown almost every time I drive through the city.

02:09:30.000 Yeah, it was a big get.

02:09:33.000 Getting him here.

02:09:33.000 It was a big get because we wanted to bring a lot of the...

02:09:36.000 There was some magic that was trapped in the talent of the comedy store.

02:09:41.000 It was magic.

02:09:42.000 And some of it wasn't being utilized correctly.

02:09:45.000 And Holtzman's the best example of that.

02:09:47.000 But what a fun hang it was, you know?

02:09:48.000 What a fun hang.

02:09:49.000 Yeah, it was great.

02:09:51.000 I had some of my favorite times in my life in that back bar.

02:09:54.000 Yeah. Just laughing.

02:09:55.000 Just laughing.

02:09:56.000 We would be back there just laughing.

02:09:57.000 That was a great thing the Comedy Store did when they put together that bar.

02:10:01.000 That it had Mitzi's actual bar from her house was the bar there.

02:10:05.000 I didn't know that.

02:10:06.000 Yeah, that bar didn't used to be there.

02:10:08.000 So the early days, that was like a storage room.

02:10:12.000 And so at one point in time when the store was really killing it, they decided we should turn this into a bar.

02:10:18.000 And I don't know, what year was that?

02:10:21.000 I feel like that was like 2014-ish, which is right when I came back.

02:10:27.000 And the story was killing it.

02:10:30.000 And we all...

02:10:32.000 We're like, oh yeah, we'll have our own bar?

02:10:34.000 This is incredible.

02:10:35.000 And you had to go through the kitchen to get through it, like a scene from Goodfellas.

02:10:38.000 Right. And you get back there and you could only be back there if you were cool.

02:10:43.000 Like, you couldn't buy a ticket.

02:10:45.000 It was policed, too.

02:10:47.000 Yeah, you had to have a friend.

02:10:48.000 You had to know somebody to get back there.

02:10:51.000 But we would be hanging with some of the coolest people in the world.

02:10:54.000 That was my favorite place to drink.

02:10:57.000 It was so fun.

02:10:59.000 There'd be musicians back there.

02:11:00.000 Smoke pot back there.

02:11:02.000 And everybody was just chilling.

02:11:03.000 The drinks were free.

02:11:04.000 It was crazy.

02:11:06.000 It was so fun.

02:11:07.000 The store was a magical place, man.

02:11:10.000 A magical place.

02:11:12.000 And there's something about the fact that You know, it had this insane history to it that you felt like, wow, I can't believe I'm even here.

02:11:21.000 Right, standing on the stage, same last stage as Pryor.

02:11:25.000 Kennison. Yeah, and you just, you're in the belly of the beast on Sunset in Hollywood, like right in the middle of everything.

02:11:35.000 Right. The middle of everything, where everybody, I remember when I was a kid in 1988 when I first started doing stand-up.

02:11:42.000 They would talk about the Comedy Store like it was Mecca.

02:11:45.000 Right. Like you had to make your pilgrimage to the store.

02:11:48.000 And some guys would say they went there, but they bombed.

02:11:50.000 Oh, I went back to try to do some meetings.

02:11:53.000 I did a set at the store.

02:11:54.000 I bombed.

02:11:54.000 I fucked that place.

02:11:57.000 Yeah, my first trip out to L.A., I was trying to get on at the Improv.

02:12:02.000 I couldn't get on.

02:12:03.000 And I was like, oh, man, I went to the Comedy Store.

02:12:06.000 And I told them my story.

02:12:08.000 It was Monday night.

02:12:09.000 And they put me up first.

02:12:11.000 Which wasn't a really good spot, and I ate it.

02:12:14.000 But they did put me on stage.

02:12:17.000 Well, there it is, right there.

02:12:19.000 There were about ten people in there or whatever.

02:12:22.000 Nobody. And it was a horrible experience.

02:12:25.000 But I always look back at it fondly, you know, because they did it.

02:12:29.000 They said, yeah, go get on stage. 0.84

02:12:32.000 First time I ever came out to the store, I was out in L.A. to do some pilot thing for MTV.

02:12:40.000 I was staying at a hotel, and I knew where the store was.

02:12:43.000 I was like, I gotta get there.

02:12:45.000 I just gotta see what it's like.

02:12:47.000 And they let me in, because I said, hey, I'm a comedian from New York.

02:12:51.000 Can I just come in and watch the show?

02:12:53.000 And they're like, yeah, sure.

02:12:54.000 They just let me right in.

02:12:55.000 And then I sat in the back of the room, and there was like 19 people in there, and they were all like, the comics that were on stage were terrible.

02:13:00.000 They were all like Bodaks. 1.00

02:13:02.000 And then I realized years later that what had happened was...

02:13:09.000 A lot of these scenes, they go in these peaks and valleys.

02:13:13.000 And I had caught it when it was at a valley.

02:13:15.000 And before it was at a peak, like the Kinison years, it was a giant peak.

02:13:20.000 When people would come to, it was the wild place.

02:13:23.000 Kinison was there.

02:13:24.000 They'd all come at midnight and watch him and celebrities would be all there.

02:13:27.000 And he had died in like 92, I think.

02:13:31.000 And I got there in 94. So there was this like...

02:13:37.000 Absence. Lull, right.

02:13:38.000 It was a real lull.

02:13:39.000 There was a lot of leftovers.

02:13:42.000 People that were in the 80s that didn't make it.

02:13:45.000 Right. But they were still around.

02:13:46.000 They were still doing stand-up and hoping that something was going to happen.

02:13:48.000 But they had tired acts.

02:13:50.000 They were just tired.

02:13:51.000 It hadn't happened for them.

02:13:53.000 They were out there doing pilot season.

02:13:54.000 They didn't want to be at the store.

02:13:56.000 Because if you're at the store, there's no agents.

02:14:00.000 There's no executive.

02:14:01.000 No one comes to see you at the store at that time.

02:14:03.000 They would go to the improv.

02:14:04.000 They'd go to the laugh factory.

02:14:06.000 That's where the industry was.

02:14:07.000 So if you really wanted to have an actual career, you wouldn't be doing sets at the store.

02:14:11.000 And you had to do sets in front of Bud Friedman going, Language!

02:14:16.000 Watch your language!

02:14:17.000 Fuck. Yeah.

02:14:21.000 There was a lot of that back then, right?

02:14:22.000 The TV days?

02:14:23.000 Everybody thought you had to be clean?

02:14:25.000 You know, when I came back to the store...

02:14:28.000 It was in its heyday.

02:14:29.000 You were running the podcast and the fucking place was packed to the rafters and the comics were solid as fuck.

02:14:39.000 We had a magical run.

02:14:41.000 Yeah. It was a magical run.

02:14:44.000 And we're having one now.

02:14:46.000 It's the same thing.

02:14:48.000 But it's our version of it.

02:14:50.000 The new version of it.

02:14:51.000 But it's the same thing.

02:14:52.000 It's a beautiful thing when...

02:14:56.000 I mean, that term artist is very pretentious, so I'll just say comics.

02:15:00.000 Realize that we're all doing this thing together, and there's not a lot of us, and it's fun to hang out together and enjoy each other's company and appreciate each other and appreciate the ride.

02:15:09.000 We're all on this wild ride together.

02:15:11.000 That's right, and it is quite a ride.

02:15:13.000 It's a beautiful ride.

02:15:14.000 Quite a ride.

02:15:15.000 Yeah, we're very lucky, Ron White, and I say it.

02:15:18.000 All the time, but it's true. 0.60

02:15:20.000 You're patient zero.

02:15:21.000 All right, man.

02:15:22.000 I'll take the title.

02:15:24.000 I'll take the title.

02:15:25.000 You're really patient zero because you just threw up.

02:15:27.000 Imagine if you have some fucking new COVID and picked up some new COVID in Vegas that kills us all.

02:15:31.000 Yeah. I love you to death, brother.

02:15:33.000 I love you too, man.

02:15:34.000 Thank you for being here.

02:15:34.000 Thanks for having me on.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 09, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2302 - Ron White

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript