The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2306 - Deric Poston

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 So we were just looking at a song in the security canvas in the fucking gym with his stupid haircut.

00:00:18.000 Why is he doing that?

00:00:19.000 He looks so crazy.

00:00:21.000 Hilarious dude.

00:00:22.000 One of the best.

00:00:23.000 One of the best.

00:00:23.000 Fantastic. And getting better, man.

00:00:25.000 All the time.

00:00:26.000 He's a guy who's always working.

00:00:28.000 Nobody writes more new stuff.

00:00:30.000 He writes a lot.

00:00:30.000 That guy puts me on my ass.

00:00:33.000 We've been best friends for the last 12 years, so I've been watching them this whole time.

00:00:36.000 And since we met, him and Brian Simpson, they put you to work.

00:00:40.000 Yeah, that's important.

00:00:41.000 Because if your friends are slacking, you're like, I can slack off too.

00:00:44.000 Yeah, or you feel like, oh man, I'm better than my friends.

00:00:46.000 But when your friends are like, every time I see them, I'm like, dude, I saw you yesterday.

00:00:50.000 You have two new bits?

00:00:51.000 And they're good?

00:00:52.000 Yeah. How the fuck?

00:00:53.000 But one of his bits is his fucking hair.

00:00:58.000 It's Hinchcliffe's fault.

00:00:59.000 Hinchcliffe fucking keeps encouraging.

00:01:01.000 Like, keep it going, keep it going.

00:01:02.000 He does encourage it.

00:01:04.000 And I told you, he's getting mad pussy with the hair. 0.99

00:01:06.000 Shh, don't say that.

00:01:07.000 He's going to fuck up his pussy. 0.98

00:01:09.000 You're right, you're right.

00:01:13.000 You're getting mad pussy. 0.99

00:01:15.000 Really? I thought we were having a wonderful...

00:01:19.000 There's nothing funnier than when your friends...

00:01:22.000 Pull you aside to complain about a girl that's like putting the cuffs on them. 1.00

00:01:27.000 It's the best.

00:01:28.000 Why don't you do things?

00:01:30.000 I heard the haircut.

00:01:31.000 Why don't you cut your hair better so you don't get mad?

00:01:36.000 You take comedy serious.

00:01:37.000 You don't take me serious.

00:01:38.000 Oh my god!

00:01:41.000 He's the man.

00:01:42.000 Look how smooth he looks, though.

00:01:43.000 He looks dressed nice.

00:01:44.000 He's headlining La Jolla this weekend with you, right?

00:01:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:47.000 We're doing it next week, next Thursday.

00:01:48.000 Oh, next week.

00:01:48.000 Next Thursday, yeah.

00:01:49.000 Going back.

00:01:50.000 And then we're doing the belly room, too.

00:01:51.000 Headlining the belly room next night.

00:01:52.000 Nice. Fucking La Jolla is one of the best rooms in the world.

00:01:55.000 Yeah. That La Jolla room is fire.

00:01:58.000 If you get it crushing in there, it's a box.

00:02:01.000 It's a literal box.

00:02:02.000 It's a kill box.

00:02:03.000 And he's cheating with his hair.

00:02:05.000 He's cheating.

00:02:06.000 I won't say the jokes, but these hair jokes are just too good.

00:02:10.000 Well, people lose their mood.

00:02:11.000 They lose their mind.

00:02:12.000 It's unfortunate because they think he looks way better with his head shaved.

00:02:16.000 He's a good-looking guy.

00:02:17.000 He's a good-looking guy.

00:02:18.000 And since you got him in the gym, his chest is filled out, his back's straighter.

00:02:23.000 I love when I come here and you two guys are in the gym.

00:02:26.000 And you're by yourselves.

00:02:28.000 It's pushing you.

00:02:28.000 I love it.

00:02:29.000 I love it.

00:02:30.000 The only thing, because we do every single thing that we did back when we were working out, but other than some days we look at that cold punch and we're like, Joe, you're a fucking psycho.

00:02:37.000 Get the fuck out of here, dude.

00:02:39.000 Not getting in cold water for you today, dude.

00:02:42.000 I'm down to work out tomorrow if you guys want to do it.

00:02:44.000 Of course.

00:02:44.000 All right, let's do it.

00:02:45.000 Hell yeah, we'll get a good old school one in. 0.93

00:02:47.000 Yeah, we'll get an old school one.

00:02:48.000 I'll get in the cold punch.

00:02:48.000 If we're all doing it, I need we all to be doing it.

00:02:51.000 So my friend Sean, who trained Alex Jones, is now training Shane.

00:02:56.000 He's going to start training.

00:02:57.000 Shane. I heard about it.

00:02:58.000 He puts them through the gauntlets.

00:02:59.000 I told Shane, don't let him kill you.

00:03:01.000 Don't let him kill you.

00:03:03.000 Makes you back him off a little in the beginning.

00:03:06.000 These fucking psychopaths.

00:03:07.000 I remember when Ahsan did it with him the first time, Sean, he got him to do it.

00:03:11.000 I was out of town with Schultz and Ahsan called me and goes, bro, I threw up twice.

00:03:15.000 At the end, he goes, no, at the beginning.

00:03:17.000 I was like, bro, get the fuck out of here.

00:03:19.000 You gotta build up to that kind of stuff.

00:03:21.000 That's the thing.

00:03:21.000 Sean's in great shape.

00:03:24.000 You know, if you're used to, like, coaching Navy SEALs, and you're like, come on, pussy, we gotta go. 1.00

00:03:30.000 You know, like, carry the fucking log.

00:03:32.000 Who's gonna carry the boats?

00:03:33.000 That's one thing.

00:03:34.000 But when you're a guy like Shane, and you're on a workout on again, off again, on again, off again, like...

00:03:40.000 You can't hurt the guy.

00:03:42.000 Like, you gotta, like, start slow.

00:03:44.000 Yeah. Like, when we started working out, what do we do?

00:03:46.000 Start slow.

00:03:47.000 Real slow.

00:03:47.000 I mean, you were teaching us how to use the kettlebells, let alone going super hard at it.

00:03:51.000 Whereas now, you know, me and Asan have upped our weight, because now we've done it so many, like, the rhythm of kettlebells.

00:03:56.000 Oh, it's gonna be fun.

00:03:56.000 Oh, dude, I'm excited for tomorrow.

00:03:58.000 Yeah. But I was gonna tell you this about Asan's hair.

00:04:02.000 Let's back to it.

00:04:04.000 We're seeing him on the security camera.

00:04:05.000 What the fuck are you doing?

00:04:06.000 I was like, he looks like a fucking psycho!

00:04:08.000 I can't believe it.

00:04:09.000 People love it.

00:04:10.000 They love it.

00:04:11.000 I'll never forget this.

00:04:12.000 One night, I'm working the back door of the comedy store, and this is when Theo Vaughn had just...

00:04:16.000 He went from a guy we all knew to he's now Theo Vaughn.

00:04:20.000 And I'm sitting back there, and he pulled in, and we're just kind of hanging at the back door, and he goes, Derek, let me tell you something, man.

00:04:27.000 He goes, I was getting $2,000 a weekend before this hair.

00:04:31.000 Since this mullet I get about 40k a weekend and walked off You know what though, it's true, but it's not true So it's true that when the haircut came he got more money on the weekend,

00:04:49.000 but It's also like the haircut freed him to be Theo Vaughn Like do you remember when the I remember very clearly the first time I ever saw Theo And he was doing a bit about being on, not even a bit, he was telling a story, a true story,

00:05:04.000 about when he was young, his father was really old.

00:05:09.000 Like his father had him when he was like 70. Yes.

00:05:11.000 Yeah, something crazy.

00:05:12.000 And he said he remembers being on acid, lying next to his father, and realizes his father's just dying.

00:05:20.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:21.000 Have you ever been around someone who's like 100 years old?

00:05:25.000 Oh yeah.

00:05:26.000 They feel like there's no life force in them.

00:05:29.000 Yeah. And they're almost trapped in their mind.

00:05:31.000 Yeah. And he's on acid lying next to him.

00:05:34.000 I was like, whoa, this guy's weird.

00:05:35.000 What a weird set.

00:05:37.000 And he was talking about all kinds of other stuff too, but it was really fun, but it was interesting.

00:05:42.000 And then I remember seeing him about a year, a year and a half later, and I couldn't fucking breathe.

00:05:48.000 I was just crying laughing.

00:05:50.000 My cousin got bit by a gay guy, so...

00:05:53.000 We'll see.

00:05:56.000 I was just like, what the fuck are you saying?

00:06:00.000 What the fuck are you saying?

00:06:02.000 It was the timing and just the materials all over the place in this weird way.

00:06:08.000 I love a guy like that.

00:06:10.000 Yeah, I agree.

00:06:11.000 You're right.

00:06:11.000 The mullet might have just been the little touch, but he was already your favorite to watch.

00:06:17.000 Sometimes you need something like that to make you feel different.

00:06:19.000 You know, like some dudes, I think, like dressing nice on stage because they feel different.

00:06:25.000 Or Burt likes to take his shirt off because he feels different.

00:06:28.000 Burt could do the same set with a tuxedo on.

00:06:31.000 It would be the same fun.

00:06:33.000 Yeah, it would be the same fun.

00:06:34.000 It just makes him feel free to let that fucking gut hang out and show everybody he's willing to drink himself to death for you.

00:06:45.000 Like, he's a fucking gladiator, dude.

00:06:48.000 But they love it.

00:06:48.000 But I do get that feeling of, like, being free on stage and truly...

00:06:52.000 Yeah. Because that does separate yourself, too, of like, oh, this is how I...

00:06:55.000 Damn. Yeah, you gotta learn how to do that some way, right?

00:06:58.000 And some people it's alcohol, and some people it's the way they dress, and some people it's weed, and some people it's, you know, they have to run, they have to jog before they do a set.

00:07:08.000 Yeah. I remember seeing Eleanor, she would do dips.

00:07:11.000 You'll catch her in the back of the hole, and she's just cranking out dips, and then she goes up, but then you see when she's up, it's like, oh, that energy had to just, it was just coming out of her.

00:07:19.000 Yeah, it's coming out of you, and also you want to get your heart rate up a little bit, so your body is like, and your I heard Bill Burr say something,

00:07:38.000 but he's just one of the greatest to ever do it.

00:07:40.000 But it always made me go, damn, because I always felt that way.

00:07:42.000 Like, no, I wouldn't eat before a meal.

00:07:43.000 I'm eating before a show.

00:07:44.000 I wouldn't eat.

00:07:45.000 And then I heard him say once, he was like, oh, I used to not eat before shows.

00:07:47.000 And then I got older.

00:07:49.000 And I'd fucking have a Thanksgiving dinner before a show and go up and talk the whole set about how I had a Thanksgiving dinner and how fucking fat I am and how gross we all are in America.

00:07:56.000 And it was just, like, that freedom of, like, wow, he really doesn't give a fuck, this guy.

00:08:01.000 Well, Bill is also amazing at being Bill.

00:08:06.000 Like, he has his opinions, what he thinks is stupid about something, and he's just, like, locked in.

00:08:16.000 You know what I mean?

00:08:17.000 Like, there's no...

00:08:18.000 Like, some comics, like, you'll see one of their hours, and it's kind of like one kind of energy, and then the other hour, it's like kind of a different kind of energy.

00:08:27.000 Well, Bill Burr, it's Bill Burr.

00:08:28.000 I'm Bill Burr.

00:08:29.000 I'm Bill Burr.

00:08:30.000 He knows how to be Bill Burr.

00:08:31.000 He's professionally Bill Burr.

00:08:33.000 That's a great point.

00:08:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:08:35.000 A lot of people couldn't even do his material.

00:08:37.000 It just, like, wouldn't work.

00:08:38.000 No, and it would sound, like, hateful.

00:08:41.000 Like, this guy fucking hates the world, dude.

00:08:43.000 But that's just the magic of becoming, you know, you.

00:08:48.000 A tell is the absolute best at it.

00:08:51.000 A tell has a timing...

00:08:54.000 And a presence and then the material, the way it's written, like a lot of it on paper, you'd be like, what is this?

00:09:00.000 I don't understand how this would be funny.

00:09:02.000 But you see him do it in real life, you're like, oh my god.

00:09:06.000 You're just crying.

00:09:07.000 Yeah, and when the crowd is more ruckus, he's better.

00:09:10.000 He's in on the corniness of some of the stuff too, which makes it even more fun.

00:09:15.000 It's like there's many layers to it.

00:09:16.000 And some of it is just brilliant observations on things.

00:09:21.000 Some of them is completely ridiculous.

00:09:25.000 It's just all, but it's woven into Dave Vittell.

00:09:29.000 And it'll pull out a fucking recorder.

00:09:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:09:31.000 It starts playing the flute.

00:09:34.000 Bro, when we saw him live, I was so fucking impressed.

00:09:37.000 I was so impressed.

00:09:39.000 I was like, that is so good.

00:09:40.000 You know who's another one like that?

00:09:41.000 Colin Quinn.

00:09:43.000 Man, when he was here.

00:09:44.000 Bro, you see him live, you're like, wow, that was so good.

00:09:48.000 Just so fun.

00:09:50.000 You forget how good he is.

00:09:51.000 Yeah, and then you're learning shit.

00:09:52.000 You're like, I didn't know this.

00:09:54.000 Yeah, he's like a history wizard.

00:09:56.000 I remember we did Tough Crowd once, and Colin used to do stand-up to the crowd before.

00:10:03.000 Before the show would start, before we'd sit down and do tough crowds.

00:10:05.000 He was doing the warm-up for his own show.

00:10:07.000 Yeah, he was doing the warm-up for his own show.

00:10:08.000 This one time.

00:10:09.000 I don't know if he did it all the time, but he was murdering.

00:10:13.000 Murdering. And I was watching this, and I was like, people don't know how good he is.

00:10:17.000 Like, this is crazy.

00:10:18.000 Because, like, there's some guys that warm up for their show, and it's like a monologue.

00:10:23.000 They're doing a few jokes.

00:10:24.000 It's like, it's okay.

00:10:25.000 It's okay.

00:10:26.000 But I'm not in it.

00:10:27.000 I'm not really feeling it.

00:10:28.000 With him, it was like I was at a club.

00:10:30.000 I was like dying laughing like I was at a comedy club.

00:10:32.000 I was like, people don't know.

00:10:34.000 There's a few of these guys that just never got good at promoting.

00:10:39.000 And they're really good.

00:10:41.000 And the interesting thing is the really good ones are not bitter.

00:10:45.000 They're not as famous as they deserve to be.

00:10:48.000 Like I tell, he's the least bitter guy alive.

00:10:50.000 Yeah, he's so cool.

00:10:51.000 Not even remotely bitter.

00:10:52.000 Always friendly.

00:10:53.000 Yeah, he'll talk to an open mic all day.

00:10:55.000 Sweet, peaceful.

00:10:57.000 He's as present as you can get.

00:10:59.000 And he's infinitely less famous than he should be.

00:11:04.000 He should be selling out arenas all over the world.

00:11:07.000 He's that good.

00:11:08.000 Wow. He's so good, dude.

00:11:10.000 He might be the best comic alive.

00:11:12.000 There's a few in my mind that are in the running for that.

00:11:16.000 Who's the best?

00:11:17.000 I guess there's no one best.

00:11:19.000 It's sports.

00:11:20.000 You always have to consider Chappelle.

00:11:23.000 He's the goat of our generation.

00:11:25.000 He's the most prolific.

00:11:26.000 He has social impact.

00:11:28.000 He's hilarious and silly, and he's a sweetheart of a person, too.

00:11:32.000 So you have to think that.

00:11:33.000 But then I go with sheer RPMs.

00:11:36.000 I gotta go with Joey Dees.

00:11:38.000 Sheer RPMs.

00:11:40.000 How many nights were we in the back of the Comedy Store?

00:11:44.000 We couldn't even.

00:11:46.000 You couldn't even talk.

00:11:47.000 You couldn't breathe.

00:11:47.000 You're not even laughing anymore.

00:11:48.000 You're just wheezing.

00:11:49.000 Everybody's just wheezing.

00:11:51.000 You're making wheezing noises and slapping things.

00:11:54.000 Man, I remember back that era seeing him and how people feel about him now.

00:11:59.000 Whatever. But at that time, man, when Chris D'Elia was on stage in that main room some nights.

00:12:05.000 It was mind-blowing, the RPMs.

00:12:08.000 Just the amount of laughter and how fast would be like, what the fuck?

00:12:12.000 Yeah, he could kill.

00:12:13.000 There's some magic to that thing.

00:12:16.000 I think that's hypnosis.

00:12:17.000 I've always thought that.

00:12:19.000 For a long time, at least.

00:12:21.000 I'm like, what is happening to me when someone's on stage and they're killing?

00:12:25.000 When Shane's on fire.

00:12:27.000 What is happening to me?

00:12:29.000 I think I'm locked in with their mind.

00:12:32.000 I don't think it's as simple as I'm watching a show or something like that.

00:12:36.000 Because I love watching a funny movie, Tropic Thunder or something like that.

00:12:41.000 I love laughing and watching a funny movie.

00:12:42.000 But I don't feel the same way I feel when a guy is in front of me on stage doing stand-up.

00:12:48.000 And I think as great as specials are...

00:12:53.000 They're like 60 to 70% of being there live.

00:12:57.000 Yes. Always.

00:12:58.000 I think there's something about being there live that's like, it's hypnosis.

00:13:03.000 There's something going on where that person's making me think the way they think.

00:13:08.000 Yeah. When someone brings you into their world, and like you said, you're just living in it.

00:13:12.000 And you're not even thinking about it.

00:13:13.000 You're just like, I'm living in this guy's essence right now.

00:13:16.000 Exactly. You're living in this person's imagination and this person's work, right?

00:13:21.000 Because they set this set up, and they danced it around their head, and they wrote it down on paper.

00:13:27.000 That's the other interesting thing about what we do.

00:13:30.000 There's no one way to do it.

00:13:32.000 I always say my way to do it, but I don't think Bill writes shit down.

00:13:36.000 I think he keeps it all in his head.

00:13:38.000 Yeah, Dave mostly keeps it all in his head, too.

00:13:41.000 Schultz does that, too.

00:13:42.000 Yeah. It's insane.

00:13:43.000 That's the Jay-Z thing, too, right?

00:13:45.000 Jay-Z kept it all in his head.

00:13:46.000 Lil Wayne.

00:13:48.000 It's insane.

00:13:49.000 It's not like they're releasing one album.

00:13:51.000 But who's the best writer?

00:13:52.000 Nas. Nas wrote everything down.

00:13:55.000 You can't write Rewind.

00:13:57.000 In your head.

00:13:58.000 No, you can't.

00:13:59.000 No. It's a story backwards.

00:14:00.000 It's a story backwards.

00:14:01.000 It's another level.

00:14:03.000 That's another level.

00:14:04.000 That's like him pulling his dick out and just like...

00:14:07.000 Slapping that shit on the table, right?

00:14:10.000 That song is...

00:14:12.000 When you want to say, like, writing?

00:14:13.000 Like, I challenge anybody in the world.

00:14:15.000 Who's got a better written song than Rewind from Nas?

00:14:18.000 That's a great take.

00:14:19.000 I would agree with that.

00:14:20.000 It's perfectly fluent backwards. 0.81

00:14:22.000 It's insane.

00:14:23.000 It's a language almost.

00:14:24.000 It's perfectly fluent backwards. 0.81

00:14:24.000 It's... It's magic. 0.81

00:14:26.000 It's like a magic song.

00:14:28.000 Yeah. And while you're watching it, you're appreciating the fact that he pulled it off.

00:14:34.000 Yeah. You know, like, while you're listening, you're appreciating the fact that he pulled off this song backwards.

00:14:40.000 Yeah, it's impressive to watch the different ways people do it.

00:14:42.000 I mean, I'm biased, because I tour with him, but man, when I'm out with fucking Schultz, dude.

00:14:47.000 Because people just see him come up with that 10 minutes up top.

00:14:50.000 You know, like, we'll go to Abu Dhabi, and you just see it, right?

00:14:54.000 But man, I get to see how he gets there.

00:14:57.000 And he gets to town, and no matter where we are, and all he does is he just talks to people.

00:15:03.000 And he doesn't say anything.

00:15:04.000 He gets a random person who's lived in wherever we're at for a long time.

00:15:07.000 And he just lets them.

00:15:08.000 And you just see them.

00:15:10.000 And his eyes will light up when somebody says a certain thing.

00:15:12.000 And his eyes will light up.

00:15:13.000 And he's like, ooh, okay.

00:15:14.000 Oh, that's going on?

00:15:16.000 Oh, then what do they think of this?

00:15:17.000 And he'll ask a couple questions.

00:15:18.000 And he'll do it.

00:15:19.000 And I'm not talking about 30 minutes, Joe.

00:15:20.000 He'll talk to somebody for three, four hours before the show.

00:15:23.000 And just soak in all the culture and all the information.

00:15:26.000 And then you see him go on stage.

00:15:28.000 And it's a full-flush 10-minute.

00:15:30.000 Chunk about a place.

00:15:31.000 Joe, he's a special talent.

00:15:33.000 He's a special talent.

00:15:34.000 Yeah, I've never seen anything like that.

00:15:35.000 Yeah, he's very special.

00:15:36.000 And, you know, and it's also like you got to realize he's doing these jokes in front of 16,000 people for the first time.

00:15:43.000 He's got a new joke and he's busting it out in front of 16,000 people about their area.

00:15:49.000 Yes. Bro, that shit he did in Hawaii about the chickens being so confident.

00:15:54.000 Joe, I was the black guy.

00:15:57.000 We got out the van and he saw the chickens run up to me.

00:16:00.000 He's like, these chickens are too confident, dawg.

00:16:02.000 And he's like, they don't know Derek.

00:16:04.000 And we're dying.

00:16:05.000 And it's a foreign bit later that night. 0.99

00:16:07.000 And it's like, this guy is incredible.

00:16:08.000 And that's another example.

00:16:10.000 Like, what is he doing?

00:16:11.000 How is he doing that to that crowd with those great jokes?

00:16:13.000 Like, he's locking those people in.

00:16:16.000 You're letting him think for you.

00:16:17.000 Like, come on, man.

00:16:18.000 Think for me.

00:16:19.000 Let me have a good time and think for me.

00:16:21.000 Yeah. And not only that, but you're talking.

00:16:22.000 You're talking about my own personal experience in Hawaii.

00:16:24.000 Right. And now you're going into your set.

00:16:27.000 You have me.

00:16:28.000 You have me completely wrapped around you.

00:16:29.000 Yeah, you're a pro.

00:16:30.000 It was insane.

00:16:32.000 He keeps getting better.

00:16:34.000 He was good when I first saw him a few years back, but man, he just keeps getting better.

00:16:38.000 Well, like you said earlier, to see people do different hours...

00:16:42.000 You know what he did, too, though?

00:16:43.000 People forget, he was like the first guy to really capitalize on the pandemic with his videos, where he essentially created a completely new kind of stand-up, right?

00:16:56.000 So, it's stand-up without the pauses that you would require if an audience was laughing.

00:17:03.000 So it's more rapid-paced.

00:17:05.000 Like, he thought this through, dude.

00:17:07.000 This is like a genius thing.

00:17:08.000 Those things turn your phone sideways?

00:17:10.000 Yes, man.

00:17:10.000 So that's what you used to have to do back in the day, kids.

00:17:13.000 Back five years ago.

00:17:15.000 All you fucking 15-year-olds when you were 10, you didn't know about this.

00:17:18.000 But when you turn your phone sideways, and then it would play out in wide format.

00:17:22.000 And he would...

00:17:23.000 Kind of do stand-up with images and with punchlines, and it was fucking great!

00:17:28.000 Incredible. But it was a way faster pace than he does stand-up on stage.

00:17:33.000 Yeah. It was like the punchlines, and then you this and that.

00:17:36.000 And I'm like, oh my god, he figured it out.

00:17:38.000 Yeah. He figured out how to make really compelling stand-up for someone who's not there.

00:17:42.000 Well, it's like a late-night monologue from one of those late-night hosts, but like a real motherfucker doing it.

00:17:48.000 And really giving their actual opinion.

00:17:49.000 Exactly. Exactly.

00:17:51.000 It's genius.

00:17:52.000 Because, like, that was an example of someone innovating in, like, a crisis.

00:17:57.000 Like, there's a situation that happened.

00:17:59.000 You're forced to, everyone, you know, some, like, during the pandemic, some people just curled up in a shell and decided, I'm not leaving my house anymore.

00:18:07.000 Yeah. And then some people are like, okay, what can we do?

00:18:09.000 What can we do?

00:18:11.000 Okay. I'm going to figure out how to do stand-up in this little video format.

00:18:15.000 Turn your phone sideways.

00:18:16.000 Yeah. And then everybody started sharing them.

00:18:19.000 And then Netflix does a thing, you know, Andrew Schultz saves America.

00:18:23.000 Andrew Schultz saves America, yeah.

00:18:24.000 Yeah. Which I don't think he...

00:18:27.000 They should get their money back.

00:18:28.000 How dare you?

00:18:31.000 Yeah, some of those people are still trapped in the house.

00:18:33.000 It's crazier than ever right now.

00:18:36.000 But yeah, he did.

00:18:37.000 I mean, even with clips.

00:18:38.000 Genius. It's him.

00:18:40.000 I give him that credit.

00:18:41.000 Oh, he does it all the time.

00:18:42.000 And he also, you know, because his stuff is local and a lot of it, like these opening bits that he comes up with, you kind of have to get him out now.

00:18:52.000 Yeah. Right?

00:18:52.000 So he can just release them on like the fucking...

00:18:55.000 When he did the P. Diddy thing when he went to LA.

00:18:59.000 And that's just at P. Diddy's house.

00:19:00.000 Brother. Brother, he wrote that shit 10 minutes before he walked up into the forum.

00:19:05.000 20,000 people.

00:19:07.000 20,000 people.

00:19:07.000 He wrote it 10 minutes.

00:19:08.000 And it was the...

00:19:09.000 Me and Mark Agnan are sitting there like, holy fuck.

00:19:13.000 How did he come up with this?

00:19:14.000 We were just hanging with him.

00:19:15.000 That's so funny.

00:19:16.000 He's in the groove.

00:19:17.000 You know?

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00:20:29.000 That's drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan.

00:20:33.000 It's sort of like...

00:20:35.000 When you have a muscle to do something and you do that thing all the time, then you just get better and better and better at doing that thing, and then you get in the groove.

00:20:43.000 Like we were talking about, like Attell, like Theo, like when someone gets in the groove of who they are, you know, like Tony is on Kill Tony.

00:20:51.000 Perfect example.

00:20:52.000 That's an unreal example.

00:20:52.000 He's locked in.

00:20:53.000 He's in the groove.

00:20:54.000 He's been doing it so long.

00:20:56.000 He knows when to dance and when to pause.

00:20:59.000 When to ask a serious question, when to get goofy, when to let the panel know.

00:21:03.000 It's pretty impressive.

00:21:04.000 If you can find something like that to do in your life, you'll have a much better life than if you just get a job.

00:21:11.000 And I know, not everybody can, but if you can, you definitely should.

00:21:18.000 Yeah, dude.

00:21:19.000 Yeah, you definitely should do that.

00:21:21.000 Being excited for every day and nervous and anxious and that feeling, I mean, to not have it, I can't believe people go, I get having you got to go to work, you got to make money, but the idea of like, man, never that feeling of anxiety and looking forward to something and it not going the way you planned.

00:21:37.000 And so you got to go the next day and figure out what went wrong.

00:21:40.000 And like, I love that.

00:21:41.000 That's what I love about stand up, the figuring it out, the math of it all.

00:21:45.000 Yeah, it's a great job, man.

00:21:47.000 We're so fucking lucky.

00:21:48.000 Yeah, dude.

00:21:49.000 We're so lucky.

00:21:50.000 God, you've been in it long enough to see everybody.

00:21:52.000 Did you see this thing Damon Wayne said about you?

00:21:54.000 Yeah, he said he stole a lot of my jokes.

00:21:55.000 Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.

00:21:57.000 But the way he said it, I've never seen someone say, I stole a joke.

00:22:00.000 And he was like, man, I got...

00:22:02.000 I saw it, and then I realized I stole Joe's joke, and I was like, oh, I gotta stop watching, motherfuckers.

00:22:06.000 It just stuck in the back of his head.

00:22:08.000 But I know you give him his flowers, so I was like, oh, no, the guy's not a joke thief.

00:22:10.000 No, no, no, no.

00:22:11.000 That happens, man.

00:22:13.000 Sometimes you think you came up with it, but somebody else did, and you heard it, and you forgot.

00:22:18.000 That can definitely, especially if it's a subject that you never cover, and time has passed, and then the subject comes up, like something comes up, and you're like...

00:22:27.000 It almost like David tells the best at that.

00:22:29.000 He'll call you up because you have to check sometimes like hey have you heard this?

00:22:34.000 You know like you have like he's the best at that.

00:22:36.000 Dave does that all the time.

00:22:37.000 Like you got to check every now and then like this one seems too easy because the memory is weird.

00:22:43.000 You know memory is weird.

00:22:44.000 You ever go back to like your old neighborhood where you grew up and you're like this house is way smaller than I thought it was.

00:22:49.000 It was a mansion.

00:22:49.000 This is all different.

00:22:50.000 The driveway is different.

00:22:52.000 Everything's different.

00:22:53.000 Looks weird.

00:22:53.000 You know, your memory's shitty.

00:22:55.000 It's good.

00:22:56.000 I mean, it keeps you from fucking picking up the wrong spider.

00:22:59.000 But you know what I mean?

00:23:00.000 It's not a photographic representation of reality.

00:23:05.000 And that's a problem.

00:23:06.000 And you guys have been doing stand-up 20 years.

00:23:08.000 How many bits have you seen?

00:23:09.000 Seen too many bits.

00:23:10.000 Yeah. So you can...

00:23:12.000 And then, you know, there's parallel thinking.

00:23:14.000 There's a lot, but you know when someone's a thief and Damon's not a thief.

00:23:17.000 I always said that Damon, he might be one of the most underappreciated comics ever, because when he was in his prime, you've got to realize he was like, if you're looking at today, he was like Chappelle.

00:23:29.000 He was in that same level of recognition as being one of the best guys a lot.

00:23:35.000 But then they got him with those TV shows, man.

00:23:37.000 And movies.

00:23:37.000 He wanted to be a movie star.

00:23:38.000 Yeah. Last Boy Scout.

00:23:39.000 He was going to be a movie star.

00:23:40.000 Did that big Bruce Willis movie.

00:23:42.000 Bruce Willis.

00:23:42.000 And it was a good movie.

00:23:43.000 Yeah. And it looked like he was going to be a movie star after that.

00:23:46.000 I mean, he had some great, like, Blank Man, where he's a retarded superhero. 1.00

00:23:49.000 Oh, my God.

00:23:49.000 That was so ridiculous.

00:23:49.000 Try doing that today.

00:23:51.000 You couldn't do that so good.

00:23:52.000 When he used to do Handyman on In Living Color shit.

00:23:56.000 Oh my god.

00:23:57.000 They might be one of the greatest families.

00:24:00.000 The Waynes family.

00:24:02.000 For sure.

00:24:02.000 Who's number two?

00:24:03.000 They're number one.

00:24:04.000 They might be one and two, Joe.

00:24:05.000 I don't know who.

00:24:07.000 What other families are there that are like big, not in comedy?

00:24:11.000 What other family?

00:24:12.000 Am I missing something?

00:24:13.000 Am I forgetting somebody?

00:24:15.000 I mean, I know, and Living Color was so big.

00:24:17.000 It's like them and then the Sklar Brothers. 1.00

00:24:21.000 There's no other families.

00:24:23.000 There's nobody in the hunt.

00:24:26.000 In Living Color is so big, Joe.

00:24:28.000 Did you notice that the reason we have the Super Bowl halftime show is because of In Living Color.

00:24:33.000 That's crazy.

00:24:35.000 Really? Is that true?

00:24:36.000 That's true.

00:24:37.000 So before Michael Jackson did, the year they brought Michael Jackson was because the year before that, In Living Color aired during the Super Bowl.

00:24:44.000 Wow. And they lost so many viewers.

00:24:46.000 They lost like a, not half, a big number where that they were like, we can't let people leave during the halftime show because this show is too big.

00:24:53.000 What year was that?

00:24:54.000 I want to say Michael Jackson was 95?

00:24:58.000 Maybe 96?

00:24:58.000 It had to be earlier than that.

00:25:00.000 Maybe 94?

00:25:01.000 It had to be earlier than that because I remember watching it on TV at a pool hall.

00:25:06.000 93. 93. Yeah.

00:25:08.000 93. So I was just moving to New York.

00:25:11.000 To L.A. from New York then.

00:25:13.000 So I was in New York at a pool hall watching it.

00:25:15.000 And I remember watching Fire Marshal Bill.

00:25:17.000 And I'd be like, how can you do this?

00:25:20.000 How is this allowed?

00:25:22.000 Like, this show's crazy.

00:25:24.000 You have to realize for 93, there was nothing.

00:25:27.000 Like, if you think about the internet today and all the crazy videos that people put together and the years of mad TV.

00:25:34.000 SNL. Yeah.

00:25:35.000 But back then?

00:25:37.000 Back then, man, there was nothing like this show.

00:25:39.000 This show was crazy.

00:25:41.000 That is Paul.

00:25:42.000 Oh my god, that is Paulie right in the corner.

00:25:44.000 Oh, look at Paulie.

00:25:46.000 The weave.

00:25:47.000 Look at him.

00:25:47.000 He's moving the head like a pigeon, bro.

00:25:51.000 He's here now, too.

00:25:52.000 Yeah, I know that.

00:25:52.000 Isn't that fun hanging out with Paulie?

00:25:54.000 It's like being at the store, man.

00:25:56.000 It's the best.

00:25:57.000 But this is unreal how big this was.

00:26:00.000 The show was great.

00:26:00.000 But, Damon, if you want to watch something, watch...

00:26:04.000 I think it's The Last Stand.

00:26:06.000 I think that was one of his...

00:26:08.000 I think that's the name of it.

00:26:09.000 I think it's The Last Stand, but it's fucking phenomenal.

00:26:13.000 And it's so good, but it's also so good if you go back to that time.

00:26:18.000 Because comedy, like everything else, has evolved with all the scrutiny on it and all the different high-level people that are doing it.

00:26:25.000 The comedy right now, I think, is at the highest level that I've ever seen.

00:26:29.000 There's so many...

00:26:31.000 Really great comedians.

00:26:33.000 I think in the 1980s, like if you go back, you had Kennison, you had Eddie Murphy, you had Richard Pryor, you had George Carlin, you had a bunch of really good guys, Jerry Seinfeld, but that many after that.

00:26:49.000 You know, it wasn't as thick.

00:26:51.000 Yeah. It's thick with assassins.

00:26:54.000 I think, like, right now, there's so many assassins out there.

00:26:58.000 There's more arena acts out there right now than has ever been in the history of comedy.

00:27:03.000 Yeah. You've got to realize, arena acts started with Dice Clay.

00:27:06.000 So Dice Clay starts off becoming...

00:27:09.000 He becomes an arena act in, like, 87-ish?

00:27:14.000 Late 80s is when arena act comedy started.

00:27:16.000 Mm-hmm.

00:27:17.000 Before, and nobody was doing it but Dice.

00:27:19.000 Dice was the only arena act.

00:27:22.000 Wow. Yeah, and then arena act number two, Dane Cook.

00:27:25.000 And that's how many years later?

00:27:28.000 Many. Because this is like, Dane Cook becomes an arena act in like the 2000s.

00:27:33.000 Wow. Yeah.

00:27:34.000 So then there's Dane Cook.

00:27:36.000 Dane Cook starts selling on arenas.

00:27:37.000 I was like, what is happening?

00:27:39.000 What is happening?

00:27:40.000 And then all of a sudden, the internet happens.

00:27:44.000 And social media happens.

00:27:46.000 And a lot of comics, like we were talking about, like, Dave Attell and Colin Quinn.

00:27:53.000 Like, Dave Attell's one of the best to ever do it.

00:27:55.000 And if there's ever a club where he's not sold out the moment it's on stage, it's a travesty.

00:28:01.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:28:03.000 But they didn't connect to the internet the same way.

00:28:07.000 And because that, the notoriety is not commensurate to the talent.

00:28:13.000 Whereas with Schultz, the notoriety and the talent are perfectly balanced.

00:28:18.000 It's the same level.

00:28:21.000 So everybody knows how good he is, and everybody knows who he is.

00:28:25.000 It's locked in, where it's like Dave Attell is this.

00:28:29.000 But the notoriety is us talking about him only.

00:28:33.000 Word of mouth only.

00:28:34.000 His social media is hot garbage.

00:28:37.000 He's got a flip phone.

00:28:38.000 He's got a flip phone.

00:28:39.000 He texts you with a doo-doo-doo-doo.

00:28:41.000 He's got to press four times to get an R or whatever the fuck it is.

00:28:45.000 It's so stupid.

00:28:47.000 It's crazy he does it like that.

00:28:49.000 It's crazy he does it like that.

00:28:50.000 Like, why do you do it like that?

00:28:52.000 Because he could be on the internet more.

00:28:53.000 I mean, I remember when he had that show, Insomniac.

00:28:55.000 That's when I first saw him.

00:28:56.000 Let me throw this at you, because I've been trying to stay off social media more and more.

00:29:01.000 Every day, like a little less every day.

00:29:03.000 And the more I do it, the better I feel.

00:29:06.000 It's like not being poisoned.

00:29:09.000 It really is.

00:29:10.000 It's like getting away from a poison that you didn't know was a poison, like some, like, forever plastics in your Starbucks cup or something, you know?

00:29:17.000 Yeah. I quit those Starbucks cups and all of a sudden I, you know what I mean?

00:29:20.000 It's like something like that.

00:29:21.000 Like, I quit drinking tap water and all of a sudden I could think better, you know?

00:29:28.000 Steve Martin sold 45,000 tickets in'78.

00:29:31.000 Oh my god, that's right.

00:29:33.000 I forgot about Steve Martin for two reasons.

00:29:38.000 One, because Steve Martin was a little different.

00:29:41.000 He was doing stand-up, but it was a lot of songs.

00:29:43.000 He was great, by the way.

00:29:46.000 Let's Get Small is phenomenal.

00:29:48.000 But I think he got to a point where comedy became too easy.

00:29:54.000 So he didn't know what was funny anymore because everybody loved him so much.

00:29:57.000 And he stopped doing stand-up, which is really weird.

00:30:00.000 Wow. Probably didn't have good friends.

00:30:02.000 Yeah. If he had good friends, we would have grabbed him like we grabbed Ron White.

00:30:05.000 Remember when Ron White was trying to quit?

00:30:07.000 I'm going to retire.

00:30:09.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:30:11.000 Why would you do that?

00:30:12.000 Why would you do that?

00:30:12.000 Isn't comedy fun?

00:30:14.000 Yeah. So keep doing fun things.

00:30:16.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?

00:30:17.000 I can't believe I have to give them this advice.

00:30:20.000 Like, you're Ron White.

00:30:21.000 How are you thinking about...

00:30:22.000 How much fun are you having when you're killing up there?

00:30:25.000 But I think that was the drinking thing, too, man.

00:30:27.000 Yeah, he's sober now.

00:30:28.000 Yeah, it was drinking, and it was also he needed a tribe.

00:30:32.000 And he had the tribe a little bit when he was in California.

00:30:36.000 But he was always on the road a lot, and he just decided that...

00:30:40.000 Being in the center of the country was better.

00:30:43.000 So he was like patient zero of the Austin Revolution.

00:30:46.000 A lot of people think it was me, but it was really Ron.

00:30:49.000 Because I came here knowing that Ron was here.

00:30:51.000 I was like, at the very least, Ron's here.

00:30:55.000 It's two of us.

00:30:55.000 I'm like, I'm not living like this in California.

00:30:57.000 You're not doing this to me.

00:30:58.000 I know what you're doing.

00:30:59.000 The fucking caged animal in me is like, I'm getting out.

00:31:04.000 This is going to go sideways.

00:31:05.000 I'm not going to be a part of this.

00:31:06.000 Fuck you.

00:31:08.000 Okay, at least Ron's there.

00:31:09.000 I was like, my life is going to be worse than it ever was before.

00:31:12.000 My life is going to be, all my friends are gone.

00:31:14.000 They're not here.

00:31:15.000 I'm in the middle of the country.

00:31:17.000 Maybe I'll see them every now and then.

00:31:18.000 Maybe I'll have to book shows to see them.

00:31:20.000 But at least Ron's here.

00:31:21.000 That's what I decided.

00:31:23.000 Patient zero.

00:31:23.000 Yeah, he was patient zero.

00:31:25.000 So, you know...

00:31:26.000 And now he hangs out every night.

00:31:27.000 And we get Ron every night.

00:31:28.000 Oh, he's lovely.

00:31:30.000 He's the...

00:31:30.000 He's lovely.

00:31:32.000 We were hanging one time.

00:31:33.000 This is my favorite Ron story.

00:31:35.000 And it's just me, you, and Ron in the green room.

00:31:37.000 And you gifted him a really nice Rolex.

00:31:40.000 And you guys were having a sweet moment.

00:31:42.000 And I couldn't believe I was there to see it.

00:31:44.000 I was like, damn, this is really cool.

00:31:45.000 And you gifted it to him and y'all were having a conversation.

00:31:47.000 I'm like, wow.

00:31:47.000 And he takes off his Rolex and he tosses it to me.

00:31:51.000 He goes, there you go, Derek.

00:31:52.000 And I go, holy shit, Ron, for real?

00:31:54.000 And he says, fuck no, bro.

00:31:55.000 Give me my Rolex.

00:31:56.000 Give me my Rolex back, you idiot.

00:31:58.000 And then you went.

00:31:59.000 So you go, that's the most fucked up shit I've ever seen, Ron.

00:32:02.000 I forgot about that until right now.

00:32:04.000 It was the most evil.

00:32:05.000 That was so evil.

00:32:07.000 You literally were like, Ron, why would you do that?

00:32:09.000 Well, I thought everybody was just giving out Rolexes up in this bitch. 1.00

00:32:12.000 I just thought that was going to be a great moment.

00:32:13.000 And my face was like.

00:32:15.000 That's hilarious.

00:32:16.000 But he's the man, dude.

00:32:18.000 I can't believe I'm friends with him.

00:32:19.000 Because I've been a fan.

00:32:20.000 I feel that same way.

00:32:22.000 I feel that way about a lot of guys.

00:32:24.000 Like, I can't believe I'm friends with you.

00:32:26.000 It's nice.

00:32:27.000 Well, that's good, right?

00:32:28.000 You never stop being both a fan and a person who does it.

00:32:33.000 I try to separate it.

00:32:35.000 I try to separate me as a comic offstage versus me as a comic onstage.

00:32:39.000 I really do.

00:32:40.000 You know, so I can just be a fan.

00:32:44.000 When I was younger, I used to watch someone going,"Oh, I would do it differently." Like, if they suck, I'll do that.

00:32:49.000 If they suck, I'll go like,"Oh, that premise." I think...

00:32:53.000 You're not explaining this very well.

00:32:55.000 I'll start picking it apart that way.

00:32:58.000 But I like to just be a fan.

00:33:00.000 I like to just watch.

00:33:01.000 Because I think a lot of people are real hesitant to give up flowers.

00:33:06.000 Right, as you know, kids like to say.

00:33:07.000 But the reason why is because they don't feel good about comparing themselves to this person who may be doing better than them.

00:33:15.000 So there's a feeling like, ah, he's alright, he's alright.

00:33:19.000 There's a little bit of that, you know, which I don't like that.

00:33:22.000 It doesn't make sense to me either, because watching this game, for the ten years I've been doing it, it's like, oh, like...

00:33:30.000 Everyone tells me that Sebastian was like, nobody knew that he was going to be one of the biggest arena acts we've ever seen when he first started, when he was coming around.

00:33:38.000 Yeah, he'd be like, oh, he was good, but you didn't see that for him.

00:33:41.000 So it's like, oh, there is no point to judge somebody harshly because this game is long.

00:33:45.000 Yeah, the game's long.

00:33:46.000 And you figure things out.

00:33:47.000 I was terrible when I started.

00:33:48.000 There's no way to not be.

00:33:49.000 Especially me.

00:33:50.000 I was socially retarded.

00:33:51.000 I've been hit in the head 150,000 times.

00:33:54.000 I mean, there's some fucking issues there.

00:33:57.000 There are some issues.

00:33:58.000 I was socially retarded because I spent, like, from age 15 to 21, just did nothing but travel around the country fighting people. 0.89

00:34:06.000 That's all I did.

00:34:07.000 So my version of young adulthood was very weird.

00:34:12.000 Like, it was 100% competition.

00:34:15.000 Yeah. That was all it was.

00:34:16.000 That's all I did.

00:34:17.000 Well, when you hear Joey talk about you when you were younger, it's like, oh, he was an animal.

00:34:21.000 You know, like, Joe was just an animal.

00:34:22.000 Before you apparently started smoking weed, he was like, you were way more different about it.

00:34:28.000 Have a hard time transitioning into being a regular person.

00:34:31.000 And I was only an amateur fighter.

00:34:33.000 You know, I couldn't imagine being a guy like, you know, like Dustin Poirier, who's about to retire.

00:34:40.000 You know, like transitioning to being a regular person.

00:34:43.000 He's been this fucking savage.

00:34:46.000 Killer. For so long.

00:34:47.000 For so long.

00:34:48.000 At the highest level.

00:34:49.000 Like, that's like the highest level in the world.

00:34:52.000 Inside the octagon.

00:34:54.000 Knocks out Conor McGregor.

00:34:56.000 Yeah. And you're like...

00:34:59.000 And that guy's got to transition to being a regular person.

00:35:02.000 For me, there was no screaming crowds.

00:35:05.000 It was weird high school auditoriums and trying to give people concussions.

00:35:10.000 That's all it was.

00:35:11.000 That was all it was.

00:35:14.000 But there was no glory and no money, and it cost me some of my health, you know, for sure.

00:35:22.000 And fear.

00:35:23.000 Constantly living in a state of anxiety that you're going to have to fight again soon.

00:35:27.000 Constantly. Constantly.

00:35:29.000 And for some weird reason, I was always like, why am I doing this to myself?

00:35:33.000 I don't have to do this.

00:35:34.000 Like, this doesn't pay me any money.

00:35:36.000 I don't have to do it.

00:35:38.000 Why do I keep signing up to do this?

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00:37:24.000 Did you ever have any ambition to take it to the next level?

00:37:27.000 Yeah, but there was no money.

00:37:28.000 I remember I got offered $500 to do a kickboxing fight.

00:37:33.000 So if I did that kickboxing fight, I couldn't fight amateur anymore.

00:37:36.000 And I was like, $500.

00:37:38.000 So then I can't...

00:37:40.000 Like, if I ever decided to try to compete in the Olympics again...

00:37:42.000 Because I was trying to get on the national team to compete in the Olympics.

00:37:45.000 But somewhere along the line...

00:37:48.000 I got a little disenchanted with Taekwondo and one of the ways that it happened is I started kickboxing and I started getting beat up because my hands were dogshit.

00:37:56.000 So like I was really good kicking, but if I got into boxing exchanges I was terrible.

00:38:01.000 My chin was up in the air.

00:38:02.000 I was fucking swinging punches like a bitch. 1.00

00:38:04.000 It was awful.

00:38:05.000 I get hit really hard.

00:38:06.000 If I hit you, you're in trouble, but it was not good.

00:38:09.000 And so I realized that oh, there's a giant flaw in this like for actual real fights is a giant flaw in this and as soon as I started kickboxing Particularly this friend of mine who was a really good boxer, Dana Rosenblatt.

00:38:20.000 He was one of my training partners, and he became New England middleweight champion.

00:38:25.000 He beat Vinny Pazienza in a decision.

00:38:29.000 He lost him one fight and then beat him in a decision.

00:38:31.000 He was legit.

00:38:32.000 He knocked out Howard Davis Jr., who was an Olympic gold medalist.

00:38:37.000 He's a bad motherfucker and he also when I was training with him made me realize that I didn't really want to do this anymore that I was just doing this because I had done it my whole life And this was like what I decided I was doing that was like not only is there no future in this there's a lot of brain damage coming my way like 100% I'm getting it right now and You know just sparring with Dana me and him sparring.

00:39:00.000 I don't know how many times we spar but we would beat the fuck out of each other dude damn really oh Oh, it was horrible.

00:39:06.000 Yeah, I'd go home with headaches.

00:39:08.000 And if we were in boxing range, he was tuning me up.

00:39:12.000 So I was always trying to stay on the outside because his hands were way better than mine.

00:39:16.000 But we cracked each other.

00:39:18.000 You and Dana White would fight?

00:39:19.000 No, no, no, no.

00:39:20.000 My friend Dana Rose.

00:39:21.000 Okay, I was like...

00:39:21.000 No, no, no.

00:39:22.000 I heard Dana and I was like...

00:39:23.000 But if me and Dana were friends, we would do that too.

00:39:26.000 I sparred with a lot of my friends.

00:39:27.000 We beat the shit out of each other.

00:39:29.000 It was horrible.

00:39:30.000 But that's what you have to do.

00:39:32.000 You know what the beautiful thing about jujitsu is about kickboxing is you don't have this kind of animosity with your sparring partners.

00:39:38.000 Because if you're in a good gym, in kickboxing you're always hurting each other.

00:39:44.000 And he's like, even if you love a guy and you spar with him, you're always hurting each other.

00:39:48.000 So you always have this thing where you're like, fuck that dude.

00:39:51.000 That dude gave me a fucking headache.

00:39:52.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:53.000 You think about getting him back.

00:39:55.000 Like, you think about it.

00:39:56.000 He cracked you with the left hook.

00:39:57.000 You're like, I am going to get him back.

00:39:59.000 I can't wait to get him back.

00:40:00.000 Whereas with jujitsu, you can't wait to tap somebody, but you're not hurting each other.

00:40:04.000 You know, if you get hurt, it's an accident.

00:40:06.000 The injuries in jujitsu are usually either strain-related or, you know, you didn't tap.

00:40:12.000 It's either you strained to get out of something, or you pulled yourself the wrong way, or you didn't tap, put it in kickboxing.

00:40:18.000 Your legs are getting fucked up every day.

00:40:21.000 Wham! Wham! 0.98

00:40:23.000 No matter what.

00:40:23.000 And those pads, they help a little.

00:40:26.000 Damn, they're huge, Joe, those pads.

00:40:27.000 When they look like it, when I watch it, they help a little.

00:40:30.000 Yeah, if somebody kicks you, like if Israel Adesanya kicks you with one of those pads on, that shit, you can.

00:40:36.000 You can't believe the kind of agony that's involved in that way to make a living.

00:40:41.000 So I was only doing it because I didn't know what to do.

00:40:44.000 But I wasn't the same person that I used to be.

00:40:47.000 At one point in time, I was just a mad dog.

00:40:49.000 And then I realized, like, I'm going to get really hurt, and there's no future in this, you know?

00:40:55.000 Wow. Were you already one foot in, one foot out, or did you just stop?

00:40:58.000 Two feet in, but you were like, I'm done.

00:40:59.000 You know what it was, really?

00:41:00.000 I had one fight.

00:41:02.000 I fought in the Nationals in Anaheim.

00:41:05.000 And I beat the first guy so I got into the second round and the second guy was this I think he was from Illinois I don't remember but he was like super aggressive and I hit him With the hardest wheel kick I've ever thrown in my life.

00:41:20.000 It was perfect.

00:41:21.000 He charged in with a left switch kick. 0.93

00:41:25.000 So he did a hopping roundhouse kick off the left side, and I recognized it right away.

00:41:30.000 There was a pattern.

00:41:31.000 He was making this pattern when he was moving.

00:41:33.000 He would do this thing, and then he would always do this.

00:41:35.000 He would do this thing, and then he would always do this.

00:41:37.000 So I saw that pattern, and I said, here it comes.

00:41:39.000 And so he went with this hopping roundhouse kick.

00:41:42.000 I countered with this wheel kick.

00:41:43.000 And I hit him so hard that my heel was sore.

00:41:48.000 I was limping for days because of the way my heel bounced off his face.

00:41:53.000 And he face-planted, snoring.

00:41:56.000 They snore when they go out.

00:41:58.000 Have you ever seen anybody get knocked out?

00:41:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:42:00.000 On the internet, of course you have.

00:42:03.000 I had seen it a few times in the gym.

00:42:05.000 It's spooky.

00:42:06.000 It's spooky.

00:42:07.000 And so my thing that I would always do when I knock somebody out is walk away like it was nothing.

00:42:12.000 Like, that's what I always do.

00:42:13.000 Like, that's what I do.

00:42:15.000 I just, I didn't celebrate.

00:42:16.000 I just would turn my head and walk away.

00:42:19.000 And I was talking to my friend, Junkzik, who was, he was U.S. national champion.

00:42:24.000 He was a training partner of mine.

00:42:25.000 He was sitting in a seat, and I said, I'll never forget this.

00:42:28.000 I'm like, is he moving?

00:42:29.000 He's like, he hasn't gotten up.

00:42:31.000 And so then they get him an ambulance.

00:42:33.000 And so they put this kid on a stretcher, and they have him sitting out there for 30 minutes, and he's just on the stretcher for 30 minutes.

00:42:40.000 And then they bring him in the ambulance, and they take him to the hospital.

00:42:44.000 And I'm like, yo!

00:42:46.000 When he said he wasn't moving yet, did you feel like...

00:42:49.000 Yeah, he could be dead.

00:42:50.000 So this is what scared me.

00:42:53.000 So I had this trainer, this instructor, who's like one of the best Taekwondo instructors in the world.

00:43:02.000 And I say to him, you know, what he said to me, he said, he goes, I heard you had a really good knockout at the Nationals.

00:43:11.000 And I said, yes, sir.

00:43:13.000 I said, it was kind of scary because I thought for a while that he was dead.

00:43:19.000 And he goes, sometimes they die.

00:43:24.000 And he walked away.

00:43:24.000 I was like, oh, Jesus.

00:43:26.000 Jesus Christ.

00:43:28.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:43:29.000 And he was fucking serious.

00:43:30.000 He used to train troops in Vietnam.

00:43:33.000 He was a hardcore dude.

00:43:36.000 He was hardcore.

00:43:38.000 Oh, my God.

00:43:39.000 Sometimes they die?

00:43:40.000 Sometimes they die.

00:43:41.000 Yeah, I think it was Vietnam where he trained troops.

00:43:43.000 I forget where he trained troops, but he was like an elite Taekwondo instructor and he was his mind was like His name is Master Jae-hun Kim, and he's the guy who runs the Jae-hun Kim Taekwondo Institute.

00:43:56.000 That's his business, and that's the place where I came.

00:43:59.000 He was like one of the few guys that was trained under General Choi Young-yi, who was the founder of Taekwondo.

00:44:06.000 So there's a handful of black belts that were trained by this one guy.

00:44:10.000 So it was like a different style.

00:44:12.000 So their style was very violent and very power-oriented, whereas there was like an Olympic style that was emerged.

00:44:20.000 That was emerging that was very points oriented.

00:44:22.000 It was just move fast and like tap and score.

00:44:26.000 And they would yell and shit like that.

00:44:27.000 Like every time they'd hit they'd scream out.

00:44:29.000 And so the Olympic style was more effective at winning tournaments.

00:44:34.000 And so the best guys were adopting like this Olympic style.

00:44:37.000 But there was an older style that was just...

00:44:40.000 Maybe they telegraphed the moves a little bit more, and maybe it was a little slow, but the impact was very different.

00:44:46.000 Those guys were killers.

00:44:47.000 They were knocking people unconscious.

00:44:49.000 It was very scary.

00:44:50.000 So that's the gym that I grew up in.

00:44:52.000 So I had this very fortunate place that I just stumbled into.

00:44:58.000 Yeah, I happen to be like one of the best Taekwondo gyms in the country, especially for generating power Because they like really emphasize heavy back work like he really emphasized heavy back work It's like you have to generate power if you hit somebody and it doesn't hurt.

00:45:11.000 That's ridiculous You got you know, you gotta be able to hit someone to just pull it them out Would you get into a lot of street fights before this or even before before Taekwondo?

00:45:25.000 Really? Yeah, I couldn't fight at all.

00:45:27.000 So why would I get in fights?

00:45:28.000 I was trying to get away from fights.

00:45:30.000 I was trying to avoid everybody.

00:45:31.000 I was terrified.

00:45:32.000 Wow. So I just got tired of being fucked with because I was a pussy.

00:45:36.000 Because I would get nervous.

00:45:37.000 Because I moved around a lot.

00:45:38.000 I didn't have a lot of friends.

00:45:39.000 We moved a bunch of times when I was a kid.

00:45:41.000 So it was always around new kids.

00:45:43.000 And I wasn't big, so they would fuck with me.

00:45:45.000 It's just normal.

00:45:47.000 And I didn't know how to fight, so it bothered the shit out of me.

00:45:49.000 So I'm like, well, there's only one solution.

00:45:51.000 You've got to become what you're scared of.

00:45:53.000 So you put yourself into...

00:45:55.000 You were like, hey, I want to do this.

00:45:56.000 Yeah, I got a job.

00:45:58.000 Started working, washing dishes at Newport Creamery.

00:46:01.000 Got enough money so I could take taekwondo lessons.

00:46:05.000 Holy shit, Joe.

00:46:07.000 And then I started going every day.

00:46:08.000 So after a while, he realized it would be better if I was just there all the time instead of working.

00:46:13.000 And so he gave me a job.

00:46:18.000 I did not know that about you, dude.

00:46:19.000 Yeah, so I was teaching.

00:46:20.000 So I started teaching when I was like 15. I was teaching people when I was 15. And then when I was 19, I was teaching at Boston University.

00:46:28.000 I used to teach a class, accredited class.

00:46:30.000 It was a pass, fail, A. And I would tell everybody, it would count towards your GPA.

00:46:34.000 So I'd say, if you come here, you get an A. That's all you have to do.

00:46:39.000 Just try.

00:46:40.000 You're going to get an A. And it counts towards your GPA.

00:46:42.000 And I tell them that at the beginning of the class.

00:46:44.000 I go, if you can't come, if you can't make it, just call me and tell me that you can't make it, but I want you to come every time you can.

00:46:51.000 And if you do that, I'm going to get you better.

00:46:53.000 And we're all going to learn something.

00:46:55.000 I'm going to really get into this.

00:46:57.000 So I was really good at teaching.

00:46:59.000 Wow. I was really, really into teaching.

00:47:00.000 That's how you were in there, in the gym when we work out.

00:47:02.000 You had that same energy.

00:47:03.000 So it's like, oh, that came from a place.

00:47:05.000 Yeah, well, that's what I was doing for a living.

00:47:08.000 From 18 to 19, I was just teaching.

00:47:10.000 So what my instructor allowed me to do, I guess I was training after about six months or so, he said,"Look, you could train here for free.

00:47:19.000 All you have to do is teach private lessons." I was like, great.

00:47:23.000 So I would teach people, the new people.

00:47:25.000 I would teach them how to bow.

00:47:26.000 I would teach them how to tie their gi on.

00:47:28.000 I would teach them how to stand.

00:47:30.000 I would teach them different techniques.

00:47:33.000 And I would go through them and get them so they're ready to join into group classes.

00:47:37.000 Because you couldn't just go into group classes.

00:47:39.000 You wouldn't know what you're doing.

00:47:40.000 They're like front kick.

00:47:41.000 You're like, looking around.

00:47:43.000 Someone's got to teach you how to do it.

00:47:45.000 So it was always like a big deal to let one of your little birds loose into the main class. 1.00

00:47:50.000 You teach them, get their...

00:47:51.000 Get the front kick going. 0.97

00:47:52.000 Get the side kick going.

00:47:53.000 They go through a series of private lessons.

00:47:55.000 I tell them to practice on their own.

00:47:57.000 Use the mirror.

00:47:58.000 Give them a bunch of things to think about as they break down the movements.

00:48:02.000 You just literally...

00:48:04.000 I've seen you do it in there.

00:48:05.000 That is what the mothership is.

00:48:06.000 It's really just a fucking dojo to get better.

00:48:08.000 And everything is about everyone pushing each other to get better and learning together.

00:48:12.000 It's like, oh my gosh.

00:48:13.000 You've been on this teacher shit.

00:48:15.000 Well, that's also what my instructor explained to me when I was really young, too.

00:48:18.000 I say this all the time.

00:48:20.000 I even said it on the podcast yesterday.

00:48:22.000 Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.

00:48:26.000 That's what it is.

00:48:27.000 It's just you're using martial arts as a way to get better at life.

00:48:32.000 Because this is a really hard thing, and if you could do this really hard thing, other things won't be as hard.

00:48:38.000 You'll have more mental and physical horsepower for regular everyday life.

00:48:44.000 You'll have more ability to overcome adversity and weird moments, uncomfortable moments.

00:48:50.000 You're used to being uncomfortable.

00:48:52.000 You'll be fine.

00:48:52.000 It's different.

00:48:54.000 Wow. Yeah.

00:48:56.000 See, I came up...

00:48:57.000 I played football, college football.

00:48:59.000 I was a football player my whole life.

00:49:01.000 And that was...

00:49:01.000 That, bro, that was another one for brain damage.

00:49:03.000 How's your head?

00:49:05.000 How's your head, dog?

00:49:06.000 I'm addicted to training porn.

00:49:07.000 There's some problems.

00:49:08.000 So I got some problems.

00:49:09.000 I got some demons through it.

00:49:12.000 But the idea of like, because that's so yourself.

00:49:15.000 You're dealing with fighting, you're dealing with yourself.

00:49:16.000 You're always yourself.

00:49:17.000 My whole thing was team.

00:49:19.000 Team, you get to lean on people.

00:49:21.000 You're leaning on each other.

00:49:22.000 And that's what's making you better is how do we play the best as a group.

00:49:25.000 Right. Well, that's great too.

00:49:27.000 And I think that's probably more beneficial to society.

00:49:30.000 It's learning how to play in a team.

00:49:31.000 My problem was like, you know, when I...

00:49:34.000 Look at Derek!

00:49:35.000 I was a bad motherfucker, dude.

00:49:36.000 Look at you, handsome off Finn.

00:49:38.000 Look at you, so handsome.

00:49:40.000 You look like a fucking model, dog. 0.98

00:49:42.000 Look at you.

00:49:43.000 That's one of the top high school football schools in the country.

00:49:45.000 We gotta get you back to looking like that.

00:49:46.000 You could look like that again.

00:49:47.000 I know.

00:49:48.000 You just gotta lay off the cards.

00:49:49.000 They're so good.

00:49:50.000 Oh, they're so good, dude.

00:49:52.000 Come on.

00:49:53.000 They're so good.

00:49:55.000 They're so good.

00:49:56.000 And then just, because you stopped, you told me the other day you haven't been drinking again.

00:49:59.000 You stopped drinking, right?

00:50:00.000 Yeah, it's been more than a month now.

00:50:02.000 A month and some weeks.

00:50:03.000 You walked in and you were like, three weeks off, boys!

00:50:08.000 Bro, I had all this fucking side fat and belly fat that just went away.

00:50:13.000 But most importantly, I just feel better.

00:50:16.000 Like, I never have days where I'm recovering from being drunk.

00:50:20.000 Like, I sound like shit now because I have allergies, which is hilarious because I always made fun of people.

00:50:24.000 I was like, they're like, in three to five years, you'll get allergies.

00:50:28.000 I'm like, shut up, pussy. 1.00

00:50:29.000 I'm not getting these fucking bitch-ass allergies you guys get. 0.99

00:50:32.000 Now, here I am.

00:50:35.000 Yeah, it's so annoying.

00:50:38.000 It's so annoying for everybody to be right.

00:50:45.000 My wife gets me on that honey. 1.00

00:50:47.000 If you get honey from a local honey, it gets rid of your allergies.

00:50:51.000 I've heard that too, but the lady that we had in here that was a beekeeper says it's bullshit. 1.00

00:50:56.000 Not only that, she said a lot of honey that you buy in the store is not really honey.

00:51:03.000 Yeah, they fuck you. 0.75

00:51:05.000 They put like corn syrup and some fucking this and that.

00:51:08.000 Yeah, they have fake honey.

00:51:11.000 Fuck, man.

00:51:11.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:51:12.000 Is anything real?

00:51:13.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:51:13.000 Why would they do that?

00:51:15.000 China. They're getting us. 1.00

00:51:17.000 They're like, these dummies, they're not gonna check. 1.00

00:51:20.000 They're not gonna check.

00:51:21.000 Do you remember what she said, Jamie?

00:51:23.000 What percentage she said?

00:51:23.000 But she did say that a lot of honey was fake honey, right?

00:51:27.000 Bro. It doesn't make sense because that's such a thing that's been natural in my head since the dawn of time, right?

00:51:32.000 Honey. Have you ever seen those cats in the Himalayas?

00:51:36.000 Is it Tibet?

00:51:37.000 Where is it where they get that psychedelic honey?

00:51:42.000 Called Mad Honey?

00:51:43.000 Remember, Jamie?

00:51:45.000 Who brought that in for us?

00:51:47.000 We did it during the show.

00:51:49.000 Yeah, we took some Mad Honey during the show. 0.99

00:51:52.000 How was the trip?

00:51:54.000 Sonny from Best Ever Food Review Show brought it.

00:51:57.000 Shout out to Sonny.

00:51:59.000 It wasn't...

00:52:01.000 I mean...

00:52:02.000 I was fine.

00:52:04.000 I really didn't do anything that crazy.

00:52:06.000 You definitely knew that you were on something.

00:52:08.000 But he was like, take a little bit.

00:52:10.000 I'm like, fuck this.

00:52:10.000 Give me a teaspoon.

00:52:11.000 I took a whole teaspoon.

00:52:13.000 I'm like, let's go.

00:52:14.000 I'm like, I want to go.

00:52:16.000 Like Joey Diaz always says, I want to meet the devil.

00:52:19.000 Fuck your microdosing.

00:52:20.000 I'm trying to meet the devil.

00:52:22.000 You guys are fucking crazy.

00:52:26.000 I would see you do that before stage.

00:52:28.000 You would take a full nugget of a mushroom.

00:52:30.000 Don't tell the police.

00:52:32.000 You were eating something.

00:52:34.000 I don't know what it was.

00:52:34.000 I think that that is the first thing we have to make legal.

00:52:37.000 We've got to get Trump on mushrooms.

00:52:40.000 Just get him to have a little microdose.

00:52:42.000 He'd be like, I'm really killing the game.

00:52:44.000 You are killing the game, sir.

00:52:47.000 Aren't these mushrooms great?

00:52:48.000 Yeah. God, that'd be crazy to see him on mushrooms.

00:52:51.000 Every politician should be on mushrooms. 0.91

00:52:53.000 All wars would end.

00:52:54.000 Do you know how crazy that is for me to say that?

00:52:56.000 And it's also true.

00:52:57.000 It sounds so stupid, also because it's me and I'm stupid.

00:53:00.000 But if a scholar, if someone who you really trusted, the pinnacle of science today, said, if we could just get the whole world on mushrooms, all the wars would stop.

00:53:11.000 It's definitely believable.

00:53:12.000 Everyone would stop dehumanizing people.

00:53:15.000 Everyone would stop treating people like others.

00:53:17.000 Everyone would realize, like, oh, wow.

00:53:20.000 We're really all connected in some bizarre way that's difficult to interface with sometimes.

00:53:27.000 But we're all connected.

00:53:28.000 We get selfish and we think about ourself only.

00:53:31.000 But if we cannot...

00:53:33.000 That's, like, one of the beautiful things about camaraderie and community.

00:53:37.000 If you cannot, then you all sort of, like, lock in.

00:53:40.000 You realize, like, we're all experiencing this thing together.

00:53:43.000 We're all like one thing that's separated by biology, but our soul, our spirit, whatever it is that is us inside of our meat bag is a soul, and it's connected to all the other souls in some strange way.

00:54:00.000 And if you can figure out, it's almost like you're listening to some, it's almost like there's jackhammers going off around you, but you hear a really good song in the distance.

00:54:10.000 Like, God, I can almost hear that song.

00:54:12.000 It's almost beautiful.

00:54:12.000 You know?

00:54:13.000 Yeah. Like, you ever be in a restaurant and everybody's talking, but there's just some jam is playing on the radio, and you're like, God, I almost hear that song.

00:54:21.000 Yeah, just some Marvin Gaye seeping through.

00:54:23.000 That's what it's like.

00:54:24.000 I think there's different strategies that people use to try to get there, and I think God is one of them.

00:54:30.000 Like, even the concept of God, I think what you're trying to do is to get to that place where you recognize, like, through strategies of, like, Tactics of following commandments and having a mindset and and giving all your faith to Jesus and all your faith to you like just by act of doing that what you're doing is you're trying to get Closer and closer to whatever the fuck that that beautiful beautiful song is it's playing amongst all the noise because you know it's there It's

00:55:00.000 just like You hear Oh, man.

00:55:10.000 Yeah. I remember, I don't know who this comic said this, but it was great.

00:55:14.000 I always talk about this joke, but he said how people think they're Americans or Chinese or whatever, but we're all on this planet.

00:55:20.000 Like, just zoom out.

00:55:21.000 Whatever you think you are, just zoom out a little bit.

00:55:23.000 It's a trap.

00:55:24.000 It's just like the Republican-Democrat trap.

00:55:26.000 It's just like the Texas-California trap.

00:55:28.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:55:29.000 We're all just people.

00:55:30.000 We're all people.

00:55:31.000 That's one of the beautiful things about traveling.

00:55:33.000 You meet friends in Scotland.

00:55:34.000 You meet friends in Ireland.

00:55:36.000 You meet friends in Australia.

00:55:38.000 People are just people, man.

00:55:39.000 We're just all people.

00:55:41.000 We adapt to whatever our environment is.

00:55:43.000 We adapt to the culture, the way people sound their words out.

00:55:47.000 You know?

00:55:48.000 Yeah, dude.

00:55:49.000 I want to fit in.

00:55:50.000 If you want to fit in, you move to the South, you start saying y'all.

00:55:53.000 You know?

00:55:54.000 Have you said y'all yet?

00:55:55.000 Oh, I say y'all.

00:55:57.000 When did you start?

00:55:58.000 But I'm from Memphis, Tennessee.

00:56:00.000 Oh, that's right.

00:56:00.000 I'm a little southern boy.

00:56:01.000 Yeah, you've always had a y'all pass.

00:56:04.000 Yeah, I've been a y'all.

00:56:05.000 I was born in New Jersey and I'm mostly Italian.

00:56:08.000 For me, y'all is a stretch.

00:56:10.000 I don't want to be disingenuous.

00:56:13.000 Does it ever come out of you?

00:56:13.000 No. Never?

00:56:14.000 For funsies.

00:56:16.000 Yeah, but it never accidentally comes out.

00:56:17.000 Like, y'all gonna go?

00:56:20.000 I'm 57. I say you.

00:56:23.000 Are you guys?

00:56:24.000 It's like...

00:56:25.000 Like...

00:56:29.000 Accents are weird, man.

00:56:30.000 You don't realize you have them until you hear them and you're like, why do I sound like that?

00:56:34.000 It's impressive when you see people who can do them.

00:56:37.000 I didn't know I had a...

00:56:38.000 Deep Boston accent until I was on television for the first time.

00:56:42.000 When I was 19, I won the Bay State games, and I was on this local TV news thing, and I got a chance to hear myself on TV.

00:56:49.000 I was like, oh my god, I sound like a fucking idiot.

00:56:52.000 Like, what is this?

00:56:55.000 Like, heavy Boston accent.

00:56:58.000 Yeah, you don't have it as bad.

00:56:59.000 I got rid of it.

00:56:59.000 Yeah. I'm like, that's a dumbass accent.

00:57:05.000 But then you started talking to everybody with a million different accents on the pod, so I'm sure you've heard all the different versions.

00:57:11.000 You get neutral after a while, I think.

00:57:12.000 Your voice gets neutral.

00:57:14.000 But you're not all the way, like, newscaster neutral, where it's just that, and now, that kind of shit.

00:57:19.000 That's the opposite of comedy, right?

00:57:21.000 Because that doesn't hypnotize anybody.

00:57:23.000 Oh, no.

00:57:23.000 When that guy's talking to the news, like, this is a presentation from NBC News.

00:57:29.000 Look at my tie.

00:57:30.000 Look at the pocket square.

00:57:32.000 I'm serious.

00:57:33.000 I'm a serious person.

00:57:35.000 Most of those guys are freaks.

00:57:36.000 That's what I love when those guys get caught.

00:57:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:57:40.000 Those guys are just doing coke and banging hookers. 1.00

00:57:43.000 In a harem of gay men. 1.00

00:57:44.000 It's insane the things they do.

00:57:45.000 Punching valets or animals.

00:57:47.000 But on television, I present the news.

00:57:50.000 Meanwhile, they're wearing a cock ring.

00:57:55.000 Fucking freaks.

00:57:56.000 All those people that pretend to be proper, those are the ones you gotta keep your eye on.

00:58:01.000 Yeah, they never have real opinions either.

00:58:03.000 It's all just whatever.

00:58:04.000 It's just a job.

00:58:05.000 Bill Cosby was the guy who pushed the most for clean comedy.

00:58:08.000 Yeah, isn't that crazy?

00:58:10.000 Is it though?

00:58:11.000 Is it, though?

00:58:12.000 Like, scolding everybody for their language and their subject matter?

00:58:17.000 He would scold comedians.

00:58:19.000 That Eddie Murphy bit is so good, though, when he told Richard Pryor that Bill Cosby, he's like, you making money?

00:58:23.000 Yeah. Are the people laughing?

00:58:24.000 People laugh.

00:58:24.000 Do you get paid?

00:58:26.000 Tell Bill to have a coconut smile and shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:58:30.000 That's one of the greatest jokes of all time, dude.

00:58:34.000 It's so good.

00:58:35.000 Well, it's so good, too, because Eddie Murphy could do such good impressions.

00:58:38.000 Yeah. Yeah.

00:58:40.000 And all the accents.

00:58:41.000 He's another one.

00:58:41.000 Like, let's just stop doing comedy.

00:58:43.000 Like, Eddie Murphy would have been bigger than all of them.

00:58:46.000 All the arena acts we were talking about before, Eddie Murphy would have been bigger.

00:58:49.000 Bigger. Bro, he was so good.

00:58:51.000 He was so powerful.

00:58:52.000 Go back and watch Delirious.

00:58:54.000 Oh, my God.

00:58:55.000 He was, like, 20. Hey, that's what's crazy.

00:58:58.000 Whenever I do watch Delirious, I'm like...

00:58:59.000 He was, like, 20. And he's got full command of this, what, 4,000-seater?

00:59:03.000 5,000-seater?

00:59:05.000 Murdering. Wearing a leather jumpsuit or some shit.

00:59:08.000 Chest out.

00:59:10.000 Fucking abs out, dude.

00:59:13.000 Oh my god.

00:59:14.000 Yeah. It's crazy.

00:59:16.000 But it's interesting.

00:59:16.000 People, the paths they choose in life, you know?

00:59:20.000 Movies. Movies to be calling.

00:59:22.000 I think it's a velvet prison.

00:59:25.000 Yeah, I've heard you say that to Hassan once about writing jobs.

00:59:28.000 He's like, it's a velvet prison.

00:59:29.000 That's another velvet prison.

00:59:31.000 But, like, I'm sure Damon Wayans had a good time making all those TV shows, but wouldn't it have been amazing to see him being this guy that's, like, selling out arenas all over the world?

00:59:40.000 Like, that's where it should be.

00:59:41.000 He would still be doing it right now.

00:59:43.000 He could do it right now.

00:59:44.000 He could just abandon all that TV nonsense right now and go back to it and still be one of the best alive.

00:59:51.000 You know that guy records like every show?

00:59:53.000 He has a camera that he takes with him on a tripod.

00:59:56.000 He sets it up, he records every fucking show, and he puts them all on his computer.

00:59:59.000 He goes,"I've been doing this since'94." I'm like,"Wow!" Yeah.

01:00:04.000 That's so many.

01:00:05.000 And how many specials does he have?

01:00:07.000 He doesn't have.

01:00:08.000 No. Doesn't have a lot of specials.

01:00:09.000 Yeah. Compared to other guys where you see- Not compared to how good he is.

01:00:13.000 Doesn't make sense.

01:00:14.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:00:15.000 You just, you know, someone's paying you, you go, you enjoy your work, you like it.

01:00:20.000 You know, there's nothing wrong with those decisions.

01:00:22.000 It's obviously very successful.

01:00:24.000 But, you know, you've got to think.

01:00:27.000 When you see guys like Schultz selling out arenas and Burt selling out arenas and Tony selling out arenas, it's like, don't you want to get in on that?

01:00:34.000 I'm like, come on, man.

01:00:37.000 Talk to me, Damon.

01:00:38.000 I'll help you.

01:00:38.000 Oh, my God.

01:00:39.000 That'd be sick to see him make a comeback.

01:00:41.000 Yeah, I'd love to see him do that.

01:00:42.000 I just think, after a while, do you really want to work for somebody?

01:00:46.000 Do you really want to show up?

01:00:49.000 Read the script and do the table.

01:00:51.000 I mean, do you want to do that?

01:00:53.000 No. Fuck.

01:00:54.000 I love just showing up 8 o'clock.

01:00:57.000 Oh, man.

01:00:58.000 Get up four or five times in a night.

01:01:00.000 Oh, there's nothing.

01:01:02.000 I love it, dude.

01:01:03.000 I mean, the idea of doing some stuff seems fun, but to make it my...

01:01:07.000 I saw Seinfeld say that.

01:01:09.000 He was like, man, we have one of the few jobs where people want this job.

01:01:14.000 Very rarely do I see it.

01:01:16.000 There's no job where I'm like, I'd really like to be that.

01:01:20.000 This is the job.

01:01:21.000 It's one of them, that's for sure.

01:01:23.000 Rockstar's probably the big one.

01:01:24.000 Rockstar's probably the biggest?

01:01:26.000 See the Rockstar thing?

01:01:27.000 They could sing the same ass song every night forever.

01:01:31.000 Like, if you're the Rolling Stones, you could still sing Brown Sugar.

01:01:35.000 Nope. Can't sing it anymore!

01:01:37.000 Can't sing that one! 0.83

01:01:38.000 They don't sing Brown Sugar anymore.

01:01:40.000 No! Come on! 1.00

01:01:41.000 Bro, you ever see the lyrics to Brown Sugar?

01:01:44.000 What are the actual lyrics?

01:01:47.000 What is it, Joseph?

01:01:49.000 There's a reason why they don't sing it anymore.

01:01:50.000 It's a great song.

01:01:51.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:01:52.000 It's still on my Spotify playlist.

01:01:54.000 But if you...

01:01:54.000 I think it is.

01:01:55.000 I might have pulled it out.

01:01:56.000 I might have got scared.

01:01:57.000 Wait till you see the lyrics.

01:01:59.000 That playlist is crazy long.

01:02:00.000 It's great.

01:02:01.000 We get turnt up in there.

01:02:03.000 Yeah, we do.

01:02:03.000 I think that playlist is like 35 hours long now.

01:02:07.000 You keep adding to it.

01:02:08.000 I keep adding to it.

01:02:09.000 I love it.

01:02:11.000 33. 33 hours and 49 minutes.

01:02:14.000 I love when we're in there and then I'll be like, who the fuck is playing this?

01:02:16.000 And I'll look at me just like...

01:02:18.000 It's like, Joe, who got you on the Black Panther album?

01:02:22.000 You'll just listen to some random shit.

01:02:24.000 Hey, who got you on this?

01:02:25.000 Oh, yeah, I love a good random shit.

01:02:27.000 Like, if I'm in a bar and I hear some cool random song, I love, like, that's why I love that Shazam app.

01:02:33.000 Ooh, that's so nice.

01:02:34.000 Here it is.

01:02:35.000 Yeah, Gold Coast slave ship bound for cotton fields, sold in a market down in New Orleans.

01:02:42.000 Scarred old slaver knows he's doing all right.

01:02:45.000 Hear him whip the women just around midnight.

01:02:48.000 Brown sugar, how come you taste so good?

01:02:51.000 Brown sugar, just like a young girl should. 1.00

01:02:54.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:56.000 Drums beating, cold English blood runs hot.

01:02:59.000 Lady of the house wondering if... 0.99

01:03:02.000 Wondering where it's gonna stop.

01:03:04.000 Houseboy knows that he's doing all right.

01:03:06.000 You should have heard him just around midnight.

01:03:08.000 This song's horrific.

01:03:09.000 This song's crazy!

01:03:10.000 Brown sugar, how come you taste so good?

01:03:12.000 Brown sugar, just like a young girl should. 1.00

01:03:14.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:03:16.000 Get down on the ground, brown sugar. 1.00

01:03:18.000 How come you taste so good?

01:03:20.000 Get down, get down, brown sugar, just like a young girl should. 1.00

01:03:23.000 I bet your mama was a tent show queen and all her boyfriends were sweet 16. I'm no schoolboy, but I know...

01:03:34.000 This song's crazy.

01:03:35.000 He was fucking...

01:03:37.000 Mick Jagger was losing his mind!

01:03:38.000 This is a crazy song.

01:03:39.000 To write all this down.

01:03:40.000 Slave ship? 0.63

01:03:41.000 Did you say slave ship?

01:03:42.000 Slave ship? 0.63

01:03:42.000 Just like a young girl ship. 0.63

01:03:44.000 What are you...

01:03:44.000 What? That brown sugar you taste so good?

01:03:47.000 Sold in a market?

01:03:48.000 What? And then scroll down a little bit.

01:03:50.000 This was another one.

01:03:52.000 I'm not sure what they're saying here.

01:03:54.000 Hold on.

01:03:55.000 Scroll down a little bit.

01:03:56.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:56.000 I bet your mama was a tent show queen.

01:04:00.000 What does that mean?

01:04:01.000 What does that mean?

01:04:02.000 What the fuck does that mean?

01:04:03.000 What is a tent show queen? 1.00

01:04:04.000 What's a tent show?

01:04:06.000 Well, whatever it is, she's getting fucked.

01:04:08.000 Something horrible is happening.

01:04:09.000 Whatever's happening in that tent.

01:04:10.000 That song is crazy.

01:04:11.000 So they don't play that song anymore when you go see the Stones.

01:04:15.000 You saw them.

01:04:15.000 You've seen them live, right?

01:04:16.000 Yeah, bro.

01:04:17.000 You see them live, you can't believe they're really there.

01:04:20.000 You're like, is that really them?

01:04:21.000 It just seems so strange.

01:04:23.000 A tent show.

01:04:25.000 Yeah, they're probably one of the, if not...

01:04:27.000 They're definitely one of the biggest bands of all time.

01:04:29.000 Tent shows are a generic term for traveling shows that pitch tents.

01:04:33.000 So a tent show queen would have been a featured performer, probably in a vaudeville act, if the song is progressing forward in time.

01:04:43.000 The fact that she had a 16-year-old's boyfriend suggests she's either extremely sexually liberal or, more likely, prostituting herself.

01:04:51.000 If she's prostituting herself, the power dynamic is reiterated. 0.97

01:04:55.000 A black woman at the Mercy... 1.00

01:04:57.000 Of paying white men?

01:04:59.000 Huh? What kind of fucking scholarly take on this?

01:05:03.000 Yeah, I know as long as that.

01:05:05.000 What is that?

01:05:05.000 What are they saying?

01:05:07.000 This is so weird.

01:05:09.000 No, that's fucking crazy.

01:05:10.000 There's a weird definition.

01:05:12.000 Yeah, there's a website that gives you insight on lyrics.

01:05:14.000 It's crowdsourced, but doesn't necessarily mean it's accurate.

01:05:17.000 Oh, I see.

01:05:18.000 I see.

01:05:19.000 Because I'm reading this.

01:05:20.000 I'm like, the power dynamic is reiterated.

01:05:23.000 What? A black woman at the mercy of paying white men. 1.00

01:05:27.000 She advertises herself during the show and then sleeps on the side.

01:05:31.000 What is that?

01:05:32.000 I'm not, you know.

01:05:34.000 Those shows, though.

01:05:35.000 You ever seen any of those?

01:05:36.000 Those black box shows?

01:05:37.000 People used to be monsters.

01:05:40.000 They were monsters.

01:05:41.000 They were monsters.

01:05:43.000 Carnies would come into town.

01:05:45.000 These carnival people would rob everybody and steal and probably murder.

01:05:50.000 Just dirty people traveling around trying to stay alive and conning people out of their money.

01:05:57.000 You know, the bearded lady. 0.99

01:05:58.000 She's got fucking glued hair stuck to her face. 1.00

01:06:01.000 What did I pay to see?

01:06:02.000 They still do that shit.

01:06:03.000 Oh, yeah.

01:06:03.000 You ever heard of this place called The Box in London?

01:06:06.000 And they have one in New York, too, but The Box?

01:06:07.000 No. Schultz took me, this fucking psychopath.

01:06:11.000 We go to The Box.

01:06:12.000 After we do Royal Albert Hall, it's a great night.

01:06:14.000 We go to The Box around 2 a.m.

01:06:15.000 That's when the show starts.

01:06:17.000 Real? It's one of those kind of shows.

01:06:18.000 2 a.m.?

01:06:19.000 2 a.m.

01:06:19.000 They take your phone, they lock it up.

01:06:20.000 Whoa. Joe, there's people shitting on stage and rubbing themselves in shit and fucking each other on stage.

01:06:27.000 What? And putting crazy, huge dildo rods in each other. 0.90

01:06:30.000 Are you getting anybody in trouble by saying this?

01:06:32.000 No, this is an organized business.

01:06:34.000 This is legal?

01:06:35.000 They have multiple of these.

01:06:36.000 The box, yep, that's it.

01:06:38.000 And they were shitting on each other?

01:06:39.000 Shitting on...

01:06:40.000 Joe! Shitting on each other.

01:06:42.000 Did you worry about getting shit on you while you were there?

01:06:44.000 How close were you to these people?

01:06:45.000 We had like a nice little booth.

01:06:46.000 Luckily we were with Schultz.

01:06:48.000 You gotta know when to panic and get out of the building if shit starts flying around.

01:06:52.000 Oh, dude, it was crazy.

01:06:53.000 Once people start shitting in public, like, I'm out.

01:06:57.000 I can watch this online.

01:06:59.000 I don't have to be here in person.

01:07:01.000 That night was great.

01:07:02.000 I was ready to fight because I was about to fight Schultz and them.

01:07:05.000 I walked in, and there's trannies, there's all kinds of people in there. 1.00

01:07:09.000 Right when I walk in, a big dude, dressed like a woman, but a dude, I mean, ripped, just fucking reached for my balls and dick as we're walking in. 1.00

01:07:18.000 Oh, boy.

01:07:19.000 Oh, yo, what the fuck, man?

01:07:20.000 But nobody else sees this happen.

01:07:21.000 And then he keeps walking.

01:07:23.000 And now I'm on 10. I'm like, oh, what the fuck?

01:07:26.000 You're not having fun anymore.

01:07:27.000 Now I'm ready to fight.

01:07:28.000 This is crazy.

01:07:28.000 This guy just, like, trying to touch my dick.

01:07:30.000 What the fuck is going on?

01:07:31.000 Kevin Spacey.

01:07:31.000 Yeah. And they think Kevin Spacey'd me.

01:07:34.000 He fucking Kevin Spacey.

01:07:36.000 I think amongst that community, that is a common way of saying hello.

01:07:40.000 Oh, it was working for him.

01:07:41.000 I saw him later, fucking pretty much having sex with the guy later.

01:07:44.000 You just gotta take a chance.

01:07:45.000 You look like a gay guy is what he's trying to say. 0.95

01:07:48.000 I think he saw the flagrant.

01:07:49.000 He thinks you're beautiful.

01:07:51.000 Maybe he did see that.

01:07:52.000 That's what Schultz said later.

01:07:54.000 Probably. Mm-hmm.

01:07:55.000 Yeah. Probably saw that out.

01:07:56.000 I didn't know.

01:07:57.000 So I'm hot.

01:07:57.000 Let's go.

01:07:58.000 I'm on 10. But they think I'm on 10 because everyone's gay.

01:08:01.000 So Schultz and them are like, Derek, you got to stop being homophobic, man.

01:08:04.000 Like, it's just a weird show.

01:08:05.000 And I was like, I'm about to fucking kill you guys.

01:08:07.000 Like, I tried to grab my dick.

01:08:09.000 And it was just a horror.

01:08:10.000 It was like a curb your enthusiasm level of miscommunication.

01:08:12.000 But, I mean, it was one of the...

01:08:14.000 I've never been more mad.

01:08:16.000 Really? The idea of a grown man touching my dick physically like that, it was just...

01:08:20.000 It's very disrespectful.

01:08:22.000 I don't like being disrespected like that.

01:08:23.000 It's scary.

01:08:24.000 It's scary.

01:08:24.000 Well, imagine being a woman and that happens.

01:08:26.000 That's what I was thinking.

01:08:27.000 That's how I felt.

01:08:28.000 That's reality.

01:08:29.000 There's bad people out there.

01:08:32.000 You know?

01:08:32.000 Guys grabbing asses in bars and...

01:08:35.000 Beating up boyfriends.

01:08:37.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful.

01:08:38.000 You can run into the wrong dudes.

01:08:39.000 You know how people are jealous of, you know, other comic success?

01:08:43.000 Well, that ain't shit compared to, like, the way ugly dudes are jealous of handsome guys with a good-looking girl. 0.71

01:08:49.000 You know?

01:08:50.000 Then that guy becomes the enemy.

01:08:51.000 Look at his fucking pussy. 1.00

01:08:52.000 Look at this fucking pussy with that girl. 1.00

01:08:54.000 Look at her at that fucking pussy. 1.00

01:08:56.000 And all those mutts, they all get together and speak mutt language. 1.00

01:08:59.000 Yeah, fuck him.

01:09:00.000 Probably from out of town.

01:09:02.000 Probably from that other piece of dirt where all those pussies live. 1.00

01:09:06.000 Where you from, pussy? 1.00

01:09:08.000 From that pussy town? 0.99

01:09:10.000 Just another town over?

01:09:11.000 Down the road.

01:09:13.000 Some fucking rival baseball team that beat them when they were in seventh grade and they still haven't let go of it.

01:09:18.000 Yeah, dude.

01:09:18.000 They get pissed.

01:09:19.000 Yeah, there's a lot of idiots in the world, man.

01:09:21.000 They all need mushrooms.

01:09:23.000 All of them.

01:09:23.000 They all need mushrooms.

01:09:24.000 Yeah. Yeah, mushrooms would make you, you'd abandon all that towny shit.

01:09:28.000 You'd be like, what?

01:09:29.000 Oh my god, this is so silly.

01:09:30.000 Yeah, you realize how big the world is.

01:09:32.000 Yeah, I picked such a small camp.

01:09:35.000 A town of 2200 in the middle of Nebraska.

01:09:38.000 Trying to start fights with the people from Des Moines.

01:09:42.000 Yeah. Fucking Iowa faggots. 1.00

01:09:48.000 People are so silly.

01:09:49.000 They're so silly.

01:09:50.000 God, how fast would you have kicked that guy into oblivion if he tried to grab your dick like that? 1.00

01:09:54.000 Well, you don't want to just escalate right to, like, extreme violence.

01:09:58.000 That's what I told Shulson.

01:09:59.000 They were like, wow, you look so angry.

01:10:01.000 And I was like, bro, I was on, you know, you hit that point where it's like, I'm not having fun anymore.

01:10:04.000 I'm here now.

01:10:05.000 You gotta be careful, man.

01:10:06.000 People get stabbed.

01:10:07.000 People get shot.

01:10:09.000 Extreme violence should be reserved for really defending yourself.

01:10:14.000 Yeah. You have to defend yourself.

01:10:16.000 You have to know you're actually being attacked.

01:10:17.000 That guy was literally trying to have this guy on Molly. 1.00

01:10:19.000 I'm sure he's drugged up.

01:10:20.000 You're on Molly.

01:10:21.000 You're on this.

01:10:21.000 You're on that.

01:10:22.000 Cocaine. And you're fucking dressed like a fairy. 0.98

01:10:24.000 You should never exchange violence with someone unless you fucking have to.

01:10:29.000 You shouldn't do it.

01:10:29.000 Avoid it at all.

01:10:30.000 That's why I never had any street fights.

01:10:31.000 Like, avoid it at all.

01:10:32.000 I mean, I had like one in high school.

01:10:34.000 I had two.

01:10:34.000 Two in high school.

01:10:35.000 They were nothing, though.

01:10:36.000 No big deal.

01:10:37.000 But then once I started competing, I was done with all that.

01:10:41.000 Yeah. But if you do tune somebody up, like they die sometimes.

01:10:45.000 Like what my instructor was saying is true, especially in the real world because people fall and they hit their head on the concrete.

01:10:51.000 That happens.

01:10:52.000 People die like that all the time.

01:10:54.000 They get knocked out, their head bounces off the concrete, and then they're dead.

01:10:59.000 Yeah. It's like getting a giant rock dropped on your head from like a second story building.

01:11:04.000 Yeah. Think about what the earth is.

01:11:07.000 You know, like the earth, like the concrete is immobile and so hard.

01:11:12.000 And all of the weight of your 200 plus pound body falls backwards and your head bounces off that concrete.

01:11:20.000 And it's the most sickening sound.

01:11:24.000 God, you hear it all the time on that mat when people get knocked out.

01:11:27.000 Yeah, but that's like way safer than getting knocked out on the concrete.

01:11:31.000 But yeah, I do hear it all the time.

01:11:32.000 It bothers the shit out of me when I see someone's head bounce.

01:11:35.000 When they get KO'd and their head bounces off the ground, I'm like, oh!

01:11:41.000 Bro, did you ever see the one when Josh Emmett knocks out Bryce Mitchell?

01:11:47.000 Oh my god, dude.

01:11:49.000 It's one of the worst one-punch knockouts in the history of the sport.

01:11:53.000 He knocks him out and Bryce Mitchell's legs are twitching and he's like locked up completely out cold.

01:11:58.000 And when he goes down...

01:11:59.000 Now imagine someone gets hit like that on the street and you fall back like that on concrete.

01:12:05.000 So not only do you get destroyed by the punch, but then you get destroyed again by the earth covered in concrete.

01:12:14.000 Bouncing off the back of your head with all the weight of your body and leverage to the back.

01:12:19.000 The head is the first thing that hits.

01:12:21.000 Your head flies back and all this weight is bang!

01:12:26.000 Watch this.

01:12:27.000 This is a crazy knockout, dude.

01:12:32.000 It's so fast you don't even really see it.

01:12:34.000 Look at his legs start shaking.

01:12:40.000 Yeah, you hear DC saying he's shaking.

01:12:42.000 He's shaking, Joe.

01:12:43.000 Oh my god, flush.

01:12:45.000 Flush. And Josh Emmett is a little tank.

01:12:48.000 I mean, he's 145 pounds for about 5 seconds until he weighs in.

01:12:54.000 Then he probably weighs about 170 and he hits like a fucking mule. 0.85

01:12:57.000 Look at this.

01:12:59.000 Boom! Look at the back of that motherfucker. 1.00

01:13:01.000 Look how he's built, man.

01:13:02.000 And imagine how much force is involved in that guy punching you in the face.

01:13:07.000 Oh! The craziest one I ever seen live was we were together.

01:13:10.000 We were in Phoenix.

01:13:11.000 And it was when Tony Chandler kicked...

01:13:13.000 Tony Ferguson?

01:13:13.000 Oh my god.

01:13:14.000 That's one of the scariest ones.

01:13:15.000 I remember I was, because I was high too, so I was like...

01:13:19.000 You watch his soul leave his body, come back, spiral back down into his...

01:13:23.000 It was scary.

01:13:24.000 I remember how scared I was for this grown man of like, oh my god, he hasn't moved, and he just seen that, that!

01:13:30.000 Oh my god.

01:13:31.000 I saw that live.

01:13:32.000 That might be one of the best front kicks of all time.

01:13:34.000 That's perfect.

01:13:35.000 The technique is perfect.

01:13:37.000 I mean, and that's a real picture.

01:13:39.000 That's a lie that he made his face look like that.

01:13:41.000 That's so crazy.

01:13:42.000 He looks like...

01:13:43.000 Like a grandpa in a Pixar movie.

01:13:48.000 Doesn't he?

01:13:54.000 But, oh, that was a scary...

01:13:56.000 That was the scariest one I've seen, but my favorite knockout I've ever seen was that... 0.99

01:14:00.000 I mean, we were all in the green room.

01:14:01.000 I don't know if you were there for this one, but it was Whitney's weekend.

01:14:02.000 It was like 12, 15 of us in that green room, and it was when Izzy knocked out Poetan.

01:14:07.000 Oh, my God.

01:14:08.000 That was the greatest celebration of all time.

01:14:10.000 At all?

01:14:11.000 All the time.

01:14:12.000 Fortify your mind!

01:14:13.000 That line sticks with me.

01:14:14.000 Not just that.

01:14:14.000 The whole thing from beginning to end.

01:14:16.000 The three arrows into his body while he was down.

01:14:19.000 Breaks it.

01:14:20.000 Yeah. Izzy looks at his son and then falls on his back to mock his son because his son had mocked him.

01:14:25.000 Years ago.

01:14:25.000 That's how petty he is.

01:14:27.000 Years ago.

01:14:28.000 It was Kill Bill level revenge.

01:14:29.000 So he looks at his son and he falls down like the kid did.

01:14:33.000 A little kid.

01:14:35.000 And then he pops back up.

01:14:36.000 Then he pops back up and then he gives the best post-fight speech.

01:14:40.000 In the history of the sport.

01:14:41.000 It was like he wrote it already.

01:14:42.000 I remember how beautiful it was.

01:14:44.000 I wish you could feel this one time!

01:14:45.000 In your life!

01:14:46.000 Yeah. Here it is.

01:14:52.000 Oh. Now watch this.

01:14:58.000 God! I mean, it hyped you up, dude.

01:15:04.000 Bro. And then watch as he finds his son.

01:15:06.000 Remembers. He remembers.

01:15:08.000 Look, he points to you.

01:15:09.000 Look. You, you, you, you.

01:15:10.000 Check this out.

01:15:15.000 That kid's like seven years old.

01:15:17.000 That's fucking...

01:15:18.000 That's so petty.

01:15:21.000 That's so petty.

01:15:22.000 That is so petty.

01:15:23.000 He remembered.

01:15:24.000 Found him.

01:15:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:15:25.000 He's like, oh, yeah.

01:15:26.000 Check this out.

01:15:26.000 Motherfucker, I forgot.

01:15:28.000 Now, Joe, was he lulling him?

01:15:29.000 No, he was getting fucked up.

01:15:31.000 He was really getting fucked up.

01:15:32.000 Okay. Yeah, his leg...

01:15:33.000 He told me that his leg was getting compromised already.

01:15:36.000 One of the things in the first fight, so the first fight in the UFC...

01:15:39.000 Poeton wins and he wins by stoppage and Izzy said I wasn't even really hurt.

01:15:44.000 I just couldn't move because he had fucked my leg up so much I couldn't get out of the way of his punches.

01:15:49.000 He's like but I wasn't hurt.

01:15:50.000 Like, real badly hurt to the point where he's wobbling.

01:15:53.000 He's like, my leg wasn't working.

01:15:54.000 He kicked the shit out of his leg.

01:15:57.000 His calf kicks are so nasty.

01:15:59.000 He's like, out of all the people in the sport, he's the worst guy to have kick your calves.

01:16:03.000 Because he sneaks them in.

01:16:04.000 And there's two and three, and before you know it, ah, fuck.

01:16:07.000 My leg don't work anymore.

01:16:09.000 And now you're trying to get away.

01:16:10.000 And it's teeing off.

01:16:11.000 And you've got one leg, and you're trying to dance and pretend.

01:16:13.000 So you're putting all the weight on this leg.

01:16:15.000 So you're trying to pretend like you've got two legs.

01:16:17.000 But he can tell.

01:16:18.000 He could tell.

01:16:19.000 Thud. He hits it again.

01:16:21.000 Thud. So he had Izzy in real trouble, but he opened up too much.

01:16:25.000 He just opened up too much.

01:16:26.000 And, you know, in order to close in on someone and bang them out, you've got to leave yourself exposed sometimes.

01:16:32.000 There's risks to reward, right?

01:16:34.000 And the cautious, patient thing to do is you throw a lot of feints and then you throw your shots in.

01:16:40.000 But he was just teeing off at this point.

01:16:43.000 And when you're just teeing off...

01:16:44.000 You're assuming that the guy's incapable of countering to a certain extent.

01:16:49.000 Or not that he's incapable, you're taking the risk of getting countered.

01:16:53.000 Whereas if he just kept playing that game and fainting and moving and slowly picking and poking, he just charged in a little too much.

01:17:02.000 He thought Izzy was hurt more than he was.

01:17:06.000 And then Izzy got him.

01:17:07.000 That right hand.

01:17:08.000 He got him.

01:17:08.000 Just fucking.

01:17:09.000 One of the greatest knockouts of all time.

01:17:10.000 Especially when you think about the significance of it and you think about historically two great champions.

01:17:18.000 One guy who had knocked him out in kickboxing and then knocked him out in the UFC and then he knocks him out cold and gets petty.

01:17:27.000 And then after petty gets super inspirational.

01:17:31.000 Yeah. And gives one of the greatest post-fight speeches of all time.

01:17:34.000 I think the greatest.

01:17:35.000 I don't think there's ever been a better one.

01:17:36.000 Oh, maybe.

01:17:37.000 Maybe Rose Namajunas. 0.96

01:17:38.000 That was right up there, too.

01:17:39.000 That one made me cry.

01:17:40.000 Yeah, I remember that.

01:17:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:17:41.000 She's sick.

01:17:42.000 She's a badass, too, dude. 1.00

01:17:43.000 But yeah, that Izzy one, man.

01:17:45.000 That's... I mean, he's the reason I never...

01:17:46.000 He got me into the idea of UFC.

01:17:48.000 I never...

01:17:49.000 Before he got into...

01:17:50.000 Because he was into the nerd stuff.

01:17:51.000 Yeah. And I couldn't believe that there was a guy who was being like, yo, I'm a nerdy dude.

01:17:55.000 I like nerd shit.

01:17:56.000 Yeah. And I'm kicking the fuck out of people.

01:17:58.000 And that got me locked in.

01:18:01.000 And also like a sweetheart.

01:18:02.000 Sweetheart of a guy.

01:18:04.000 So fun.

01:18:05.000 Just to hang out with and shoot the shit.

01:18:07.000 He's silly.

01:18:08.000 He's fun.

01:18:08.000 Oh, dude.

01:18:09.000 He's playful.

01:18:09.000 You know, he's just a real good guy.

01:18:11.000 Real smart.

01:18:12.000 Oh, he took us to a club when we were in Brisbane with me and Schultz and him.

01:18:15.000 Oh, no shit.

01:18:15.000 And we just danced until like 3 in the morning.

01:18:17.000 Just fucked up.

01:18:17.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:18:18.000 It was awesome.

01:18:19.000 He took us to like some local spot that he likes, you know.

01:18:21.000 Oh, that's awesome.

01:18:22.000 But he's the man, dude.

01:18:23.000 That's awesome.

01:18:23.000 He's just the fucking man.

01:18:25.000 But yeah, the nerd shit made me lock in.

01:18:28.000 It's really interesting how different those guys are.

01:18:30.000 I mean, like we were talking about like Dustin Poirier, like having a regular life.

01:18:34.000 Like the same thing with Izzy.

01:18:35.000 Like how do you have a regular life after you did that?

01:18:38.000 You did that.

01:18:39.000 You did that in front of the whole world.

01:18:41.000 The whole world was watching.

01:18:42.000 There were so many consequences on that.

01:18:45.000 Because he was winning that first fight.

01:18:47.000 He was winning.

01:18:48.000 He was ahead on points.

01:18:50.000 And then the fourth round, it was the fourth or the fifth where he got put out.

01:18:54.000 It was devastating.

01:18:57.000 This motherfucker got him again.

01:18:59.000 Because he got robbed in the first kickboxing fight.

01:19:02.000 Izzy got robbed, in my opinion. 0.99

01:19:04.000 I watched that fight several times.

01:19:07.000 Robbed is a tough...

01:19:10.000 Description, but I would say I do not agree with the decision.

01:19:13.000 I think Izzy won that kickboxing fight. 1.00

01:19:14.000 And then the second kickboxing fight, Izzy had him on skates.

01:19:18.000 Izzy had him hurt at one point in time, but he recovered, and then he caught Izzy with a left hook from hell. 1.00

01:19:23.000 Just a left hook from hell.

01:19:25.000 That motherfucker hit so hard, dude.

01:19:27.000 Yeah, it looks scary.

01:19:27.000 He hit so hard, and he wasn't as big back then as he is now.

01:19:31.000 A lot of strength and conditioning work since then.

01:19:34.000 He doesn't look the same.

01:19:36.000 Like then as he does now.

01:19:38.000 Now he looks way more strong.

01:19:39.000 And so he knocks him out and then they fight in the UFC and he knocks him out again.

01:19:44.000 And then Izzy finally knocks him out.

01:19:47.000 It was awesome.

01:19:48.000 And then puts the arrows in his body for the three times he beat him.

01:19:51.000 Yeah, I know.

01:19:52.000 He said that was like he didn't even think of that.

01:19:54.000 He just did three.

01:19:54.000 He just felt like doing three.

01:19:56.000 But it was really the three times he beat him.

01:19:58.000 And it just came out of his body.

01:19:59.000 It just came out of his body.

01:20:01.000 This motherfucker got me three times! 1.00

01:20:05.000 Oh, I don't know who was on stage that night, but we ruined their set because they came on stage like, oh yeah, you just, I'm in the middle of a joke and you just hear 30 people in the green room go, and I thought, Whitney too!

01:20:16.000 All of us!

01:20:17.000 Because it was just, oh, this is a moment, dude.

01:20:20.000 Yeah, man.

01:20:20.000 And you can feel it, just the way he did it, and then when he's yelling.

01:20:23.000 But that's one of the most inspiring, that speech.

01:20:26.000 Whenever I'm working out or doing anything, that Fortify Your Mind, it plays in my head.

01:20:30.000 Fortify Your Mind.

01:20:31.000 Jamie played that for us one time.

01:20:33.000 It's like one of the greatest speeches of all time.

01:20:35.000 And, you know, he asked me for the microphone, too.

01:20:38.000 He did.

01:20:38.000 Yeah, I was like, yeah, man.

01:20:39.000 People! Earth!

01:20:41.000 I need to say something.

01:20:42.000 Listen to me.

01:20:44.000 I hope every one of you behind your screens or in this arena can feel this level of happiness just one time in your life.

01:20:53.000 I hope all of you can feel how fucking happy I am just one time in your life.

01:20:59.000 But guess what?

01:21:01.000 You'll never feel this level of happiness if you don't go for something in your own life.

01:21:06.000 When they knock you down.

01:21:07.000 When they try and shit on you.

01:21:09.000 When they talk shit about you.

01:21:11.000 And they try and put their foot on your neck.

01:21:12.000 If you stay down, you will never ever get that resolve.

01:21:17.000 Fortify your mind.

01:21:18.000 And feel this level of happiness as you rise.

01:21:21.000 One time in your life.

01:21:22.000 But I'm blessed to be able to feel this shit again and again and again and again and again.

01:21:30.000 I mean, fuck, man.

01:21:33.000 Damn. While you rise.

01:21:35.000 I mean, it sounds like something from a movie, like a speech before war.

01:21:38.000 It sounds like 15 writers sat in a room and came up with the perfect lines.

01:21:44.000 Yeah. And then...

01:21:46.000 If that was in the movie Gladiator, I'd be like, oh yeah, that's how good that is.

01:21:50.000 And I bet that just came out of the moment.

01:21:52.000 I didn't even ask him.

01:21:53.000 I should have asked him next time I talked to him.

01:21:55.000 I bet that just came right out of the moment.

01:21:57.000 It was just right there.

01:21:58.000 It was a perfect event.

01:22:00.000 for him was perfect the way it went down was perfect you couldn't you never script that better in a movie no to see him flattened out out cold and then put arrows in his Bro,

01:22:25.000 Alex Pereira is the scariest kickboxer that's ever competed in the sport.

01:22:28.000 He's like the one guy above all that I would say if he hits you once you're dead.

01:22:33.000 He just has to hit you once.

01:22:35.000 And all the guys I've ever seen fight, I don't think anybody I could say that more than that guy.

01:22:40.000 Including in kickboxing.

01:22:41.000 In everything.

01:22:42.000 He has more power than anybody I've ever seen.

01:22:45.000 In fact...

01:22:45.000 Even boxing?

01:22:47.000 I don't think I've seen anybody that hits harder than that guy.

01:22:50.000 Anybody. Ever.

01:22:52.000 Ever. Ever.

01:22:53.000 Except Francis Ngannou.

01:22:55.000 But Francis Ngannou's 265.

01:22:57.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:22:58.000 But in weight class, like weight class to weight class, Francis can put anybody out too.

01:23:03.000 But he's not at the same skill level as Poetan.

01:23:07.000 So when Poetan does it, it's like when he switch-kicked Yuri Prohaska and KO'd him at the beginning of the second round.

01:23:13.000 Jesus Christ!

01:23:16.000 What the fuck, man?

01:23:18.000 And he KO'd him already at the end of the first round!

01:23:20.000 Yeah, just terrifying.

01:23:21.000 That dude's terrifying.

01:23:22.000 Just absolutely terrifying.

01:23:24.000 That power is just from God.

01:23:27.000 It's like he's got a gift.

01:23:28.000 He's got a weird gift that's just different.

01:23:30.000 You know, there's this machine where you punch it and it registers the amount of power.

01:23:34.000 With Francis, it was like 130-something.

01:23:37.000 Something like that, right?

01:23:39.000 Francis was like 130-something.

01:23:41.000 Poetan got 191.

01:23:44.000 191. With his right hand, and I don't even think his right hand's his power punch.

01:23:49.000 I think it's his left hook that's the big one.

01:23:52.000 I bet the big one, the left hook is over 191.

01:23:55.000 It's bananas.

01:23:56.000 His power, it's not like anybody else.

01:23:58.000 So when Izzy knocked that guy out, that, you gotta understand, that's different.

01:24:05.000 That's awesome.

01:24:05.000 That's different.

01:24:06.000 Like, that's the top of the mountain.

01:24:08.000 That's the top of the mountain in the sport.

01:24:10.000 It's like one of the greatest accomplishments in the sport.

01:24:12.000 Yeah. It really is.

01:24:14.000 Would you say Powhatan is the fastest rise you've ever seen in the UFC?

01:24:16.000 Ever. To two division world champions?

01:24:19.000 Yeah. No one's even close.

01:24:20.000 Because that guy never says no.

01:24:21.000 They call him up.

01:24:22.000 You want to fight next weekend?

01:24:23.000 Yes. He just fights.

01:24:28.000 He fought with a broken toe.

01:24:29.000 He fought a broken hand the last time.

01:24:31.000 His hand was broken and he had a norovirus.

01:24:34.000 And he still fought.

01:24:35.000 Yeah, he's terrifying.

01:24:36.000 He's crazy.

01:24:37.000 I remember when he came to the mothership and they were like, the security was like, it was terrifying because he was like, I want to meet Joe now.

01:24:42.000 And security were like, I don't know what to do.

01:24:45.000 Yo, me and DC were in the hallway upstairs in the mothership, and he's teaching us how he checks the calf kick.

01:24:52.000 How he throws the calf kick different than everybody else, and he's having Polino, his coach, is translating.

01:24:58.000 So it was me and DC, and we're both standing there, and you know that little area where the elevator is, where the VIP is?

01:25:03.000 So we're standing there, and this little crowded area is like five of us, and Poetan's kicking my legs, and he's kicking DC's legs, and he's explaining how he lifts his leg up this way, and this is how he checks it, and you're like, oh, shit.

01:25:15.000 And both DC and I, would we tell people about this?

01:25:18.000 Like, I don't even know if I want to give this up.

01:25:20.000 Yeah, give this information.

01:25:21.000 Because this is, like, very good information.

01:25:23.000 Wow. Like, he never gets hurt with calf kicks.

01:25:26.000 And the way he checks them, he does, like, a hacky sack thing.

01:25:30.000 A lot of people are doing it now.

01:25:31.000 But he was, like, one of the first guys to figure that out.

01:25:34.000 That he does like this hacky sack move.

01:25:36.000 So when you go to kick his legs, instead of just checking it, where he turns it into the kick, he lifts his leg up and his leg just kind of goes like this and the kick just goes wee!

01:25:45.000 It just kind of grazes it.

01:25:47.000 So it never pounds on his calf the way he pounds on theirs.

01:25:50.000 When it's just straight and boom, you're getting that.

01:25:52.000 Force while you're playing it.

01:25:54.000 But he also has a different style like he's not heavy on the front leg because he like some guys are heavy on the front leg because they want to take him down quick So they want to be able to like move and take him down and those are the guys are gonna have a harder time getting away from that kick Because you got so much weight on that leg.

01:26:09.000 So we just thud Thud.

01:26:11.000 Thud. And then now your calf is numb.

01:26:13.000 Your foot is limp.

01:26:15.000 Your foot's just dangling around your ankle.

01:26:18.000 Oh, that guy's terrifying, dude.

01:26:20.000 And again, like, how does a guy like that go and become a regular person?

01:26:24.000 How do you integrate and just be a regular guy after that?

01:26:27.000 Yeah. It's gotta be very weird.

01:26:29.000 Like, Schaub's figured it out.

01:26:31.000 Yeah. But Schaub got lucky that he found podcasting, you know?

01:26:34.000 And he, you know, found his car show.

01:26:37.000 All gas, no brakes.

01:26:38.000 So he found a way to transition and still have a good time.

01:26:41.000 Yeah, very few guys.

01:26:43.000 Because you see, I remember just the era of watching Tyson go from fighting to finding a rhythm.

01:26:48.000 Yeah. You know, and being in movies.

01:26:49.000 So there's like fighters, like Shaw, elite fighter, you know, top 10 heavyweight in the UFC.

01:26:54.000 But then there's champions, world champions.

01:26:57.000 Guys who sell out arenas, pay-per-view stars.

01:27:00.000 Like Conor.

01:27:01.000 How's that guy go and be a regular person?

01:27:03.000 How do you do that?

01:27:04.000 You can't.

01:27:05.000 Yeah, it's like...

01:27:07.000 I mean, there's no coaches for that, where they teach you how to reintegrate and become normal.

01:27:12.000 Yeah. RIP George Foreman, man.

01:27:14.000 He feels like the only one who was like, he found the grill and was like, dude, I'm fucking chilling.

01:27:18.000 We made a lot of money with that grill.

01:27:19.000 But he also came back when he was 36. Yeah, and won it again, didn't he?

01:27:23.000 Yeah. He went all the way through until he was 45 and he knocked out Michael Moore.

01:27:29.000 Which is crazy.

01:27:30.000 Like, nobody did that back then.

01:27:32.000 When he came back at 36, I remember news articles about it, and I remember feeling sad because I knew George Foreman when I was a child.

01:27:42.000 Like, George Foreman on TV when he knocked out Joe Frazier, when Ali beat him in Africa.

01:27:48.000 That was a famous story because Hunter S. Thompson went there.

01:27:51.000 And he was supposed to watch it and write a story for Rolling Stone about it, but he was so sad that Ali was going to get fucked up that he decided not to go to the fight.

01:28:01.000 So he stayed in his hotel and just floated around the pool, and he fucked up the whole assignment.

01:28:05.000 And in the documentary, they say it was kind of like a pivotal moment in the downturn of his life, where he kind of fucked his life up.

01:28:12.000 Really? Yeah, because he failed in his assignment.

01:28:15.000 And back then, you couldn't watch the tape.

01:28:18.000 We're talking about the 1970s.

01:28:20.000 So after the fight's over, the fight's over.

01:28:21.000 You missed the fight.

01:28:22.000 You don't have a story.

01:28:24.000 And so he didn't have a story.

01:28:26.000 And he went all the way to Africa and just fucked off because he was just being silly. 0.96

01:28:30.000 And they're like, oh my god, I'm a failure.

01:28:31.000 I failed in my story.

01:28:33.000 And it was like a downturn.

01:28:35.000 And his life kind of takes a dark turn after that.

01:28:38.000 God, it's crazy how much, because you hear that, and it's that speech that Ali gave, which is also one of the most inspiring things ever when he's like, I know you got him picked.

01:28:45.000 I know you all got him picked.

01:28:46.000 You know where he gets that one?

01:28:47.000 I'll show you how great I am.

01:28:49.000 And it's like, wow, to hear that.

01:28:50.000 Even Hunter S. Thompson was like, oh wow, every casual must have been like, oh, Ali's about to get fucking.

01:28:55.000 I understand, man.

01:28:56.000 George Foreman was a machine.

01:28:57.000 He was different.

01:28:59.000 You ever seen George Foreman punch the heavy bag?

01:29:01.000 No. Bro, he punches the heavy bag different than everybody.

01:29:04.000 Because he winds up.

01:29:06.000 Not only does he wind up and punch the heavy bag, he has it stay still.

01:29:09.000 And he just hits it so hard.

01:29:11.000 And it's so terrifying that that's all he has to do in a boxing match.

01:29:15.000 He just has to kind of cover up and get close enough to just whomp you.

01:29:19.000 Just whomp, whomp.

01:29:21.000 And a lot of it is arm punches.

01:29:23.000 Look at this.

01:29:24.000 Listen to this.

01:29:25.000 Give me some volume.

01:29:25.000 And he had a trainer, Dick Sadler, a tiny by comparison to Foreman.

01:29:29.000 And Sadler would hang on to the heavy bag.

01:29:30.000 But Foreman would hit this bag.

01:29:34.000 Sadler would just literally be picked off his feet.

01:29:37.000 Oh, my God.

01:29:37.000 Foreman hitting the heavy bag is one of the more prodigious sights I've had in my life.

01:29:46.000 It seems to me that of all the people I've seen hitting heavy bags, including Sonny Liston, No one ever hit it the way four

01:29:52.000 Look at this.

01:29:53.000 Listen to this.

01:29:58.000 So all he's practicing is hitting hard.

01:30:00.000 He's not trying to be slick.

01:30:02.000 You notice the difference?

01:30:03.000 Yeah. The way like Canelo hits the heavy bag or Floyd hits the heavy bag.

01:30:08.000 They're working skills.

01:30:09.000 Remember when you see Tyson do it and that head is going crazy.

01:30:12.000 Tyson hit the heavy bag better than anybody in the history of the world.

01:30:15.000 Better than anybody.

01:30:16.000 Because he hit the heavy bag with all these crazy angles and speed.

01:30:19.000 Speed like a lightweight.

01:30:20.000 Speed like a lightweight.

01:30:21.000 It's bouncing.

01:30:22.000 214 pounds moving like a lightweight.

01:30:27.000 Nobody was like that, dude.

01:30:29.000 I still maintain he's the greatest.

01:30:31.000 I think, you know, a lot of people shit on me.

01:30:33.000 They say, no way.

01:30:34.000 You don't know shit about boxing.

01:30:35.000 I just think that run, when Cus D'Amato was training him to the title, Cus was already dead when he won the title, to like a few fights afterwards.

01:30:45.000 Losing Cus, he lost his way a little bit.

01:30:47.000 But that run, when he was the man, when he knocked out Marvis Frazier, I think that's the greatest heavyweight of all time.

01:30:54.000 I don't think anybody's even close.

01:30:56.000 I think he fucks them all up.

01:30:57.000 I think he fucks them all up if they fight him during that time.

01:31:00.000 People like to discredit things because of the whole career, but they don't want to give credit to a run.

01:31:04.000 When you see somebody have a run that's truly...

01:31:06.000 It's all about the run.

01:31:07.000 It's all about the run.

01:31:08.000 Unreal. That's why I always put BJ Penn in the list of all-time greats.

01:31:11.000 Because during that run, when BJ Penn beat up Diego Sanchez, and when BJ Penn fucked up Sean Shirk, and Joe Daddy Stevenson, when he did that, I'm like, that BJ Penn might be the baddest motherfucker alive.

01:31:23.000 He might be the baddest motherfucker alive.

01:31:25.000 I would have put that B.J. Penn, I would have loved to see that B.J. Penn versus Khabib.

01:31:30.000 That would have been fucking crazy.

01:31:32.000 And a lot of people think that's a ridiculous thing to say because Khabib was so dominant and B.J. lost a bunch of times.

01:31:37.000 I'm like, you're right.

01:31:39.000 Argument, I accept.

01:31:40.000 I mean, I'm not...

01:31:42.000 Khabib might have beat him.

01:31:43.000 He might have taken him down and mauled him the same way George St. Pierre did.

01:31:46.000 He might have.

01:31:46.000 Khabib's a big guy.

01:31:48.000 Especially for lightweight and his grappling skills are unparalleled.

01:31:52.000 Khabib grapples and does fantastic with elite world championship caliber amateur wrestlers.

01:31:59.000 I've heard stories of Khabib dominating guys in the gym at AKA that are elite wrestlers.

01:32:05.000 That's how good Khabib is.

01:32:07.000 So he might have been able to do that to BJ Penn.

01:32:08.000 But BJ Penn might have got him too.

01:32:10.000 BJ Penn.

01:32:11.000 B.J. Penn might have got him.

01:32:12.000 B.J. Penn, especially when he was training with the Marinovichs, and he had an unstoppable gas tank.

01:32:16.000 Yeah. Because he went and trained with Marv Marinovich, who was like this psychopath football trainer, who had these radical plyometric training methods, and all you did was strength and conditioning.

01:32:28.000 It was like, you know how to fight.

01:32:29.000 Stop all this fight training.

01:32:30.000 We're just going to get you in the most enchained state possible.

01:32:34.000 And when they did that, BJ Penn was unstoppable.

01:32:37.000 That BJ Penn, if somebody could have corralled him and got him to stay with that guy and then train all his skills outside of camp and then only train that way when he had his world title fights and never fuck off, who knows, man?

01:32:50.000 Who knows?

01:32:51.000 He could have been the GOAT.

01:32:52.000 He was so talented, man.

01:32:54.000 So talented.

01:32:55.000 That motherfucker, BJ Penn won the Mundials, okay?

01:32:58.000 He was the first American to win the Mundials.

01:33:01.000 Ever. The Mundial is the World Championships in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

01:33:04.000 As a black belt, three years into training.

01:33:08.000 Three years into training.

01:33:10.000 First of all, it's insane to get a black belt in three years.

01:33:12.000 But to get a black belt in three years and then win the World Championships is insane.

01:33:17.000 Insane. And that's, without even hearing the context, that's crazy because I know three years isn't long enough to do most things.

01:33:23.000 I was a brown belt for eight years.

01:33:29.000 I was.

01:33:30.000 And you were dedicated.

01:33:31.000 It's not like you weren't busting your ass.

01:33:32.000 Yeah, I trained a lot.

01:33:33.000 They don't give those out, man.

01:33:36.000 You have to earn it.

01:33:37.000 It has to be real.

01:33:37.000 Unless you're in a terrible gym.

01:33:39.000 If you're at a legit gym, if I'm training with...

01:33:42.000 John John Machano doesn't give out black belts.

01:33:45.000 You gotta be real to get that.

01:33:46.000 You gotta choke a lot of people to get that.

01:33:48.000 And BJ Penn got in three years.

01:33:51.000 Three years.

01:33:52.000 Yeah. That's just natural gifts.

01:33:54.000 God-given ability.

01:33:57.000 He's an addict.

01:33:58.000 He said it to me.

01:33:59.000 Like, we had a conversation on the phone once.

01:34:01.000 It was really funny.

01:34:02.000 He goes, I was talking to this guy, and he was really young.

01:34:05.000 And he was like, you know, like, he goes, BJ, I admire you.

01:34:09.000 You know, I copy your style and this and that.

01:34:11.000 And he goes, man, you got so good so quick.

01:34:13.000 He goes, man, I'm like you.

01:34:14.000 I'm an addict.

01:34:15.000 He goes, I'm just addicted to jiu-jitsu.

01:34:17.000 And he's like, fuck, man.

01:34:18.000 And then I realized that that's it.

01:34:20.000 I'm addicted to jiu-jitsu.

01:34:21.000 I got addicted to something really good.

01:34:24.000 I'm addicted.

01:34:25.000 And I was like, that's exactly what it is, right?

01:34:27.000 Yeah. It's the same thing that can turn you into a junkie, unfortunately.

01:34:31.000 Just put that dial, spin that needle towards something else, and it's over.

01:34:36.000 I knew a dude who was a world championship caliber pool player, and he was squeaky clean.

01:34:44.000 He ate well, he drank water, he never drank alcohol, he didn't smoke cigarettes, he didn't do drugs.

01:34:52.000 Straight as an arrow, super focused, world championship caliber player.

01:34:57.000 Then he hurts his back in a car accident.

01:35:00.000 And they get him on those pills and falls apart, man.

01:35:05.000 Gets addicted to those pills the same way he was addicted to being a pool player.

01:35:10.000 The same thing that made him just obsess on pool, where he's thinking about pool so much it becomes like the scariest guy to play.

01:35:18.000 The same thing.

01:35:20.000 Got him with the pills.

01:35:21.000 And then he just overdosed and died.

01:35:24.000 Young. But he was like, one time my buddies were hanging out with him and he fell asleep and his mashed potatoes just fell asleep in his food.

01:35:32.000 They were eating and he just just grayed out on pills right into his food.

01:35:36.000 And they had to pick him up out of the food.

01:35:38.000 Like, oh no.

01:35:39.000 This is a guy that was like straight as an arrow.

01:35:41.000 Clean as a whistle.

01:35:43.000 Super focused.

01:35:44.000 Always dressed nice.

01:35:45.000 Always looked good.

01:35:46.000 You know?

01:35:47.000 Yeah. Thin in shape.

01:35:49.000 Just one.

01:35:50.000 Just focused.

01:35:51.000 Click to the left.

01:35:52.000 One click to the left.

01:35:53.000 One accident and then pills and then no one understanding how addictive those fucking pills were. 0.71

01:35:58.000 The doctors never told you.

01:35:59.000 Nobody told anybody.

01:36:01.000 You know?

01:36:02.000 Now when you see like those documentaries of like how people who just like broke a leg or something and then they get them addicted to pills and next thing you know they lost their family, their job, everything.

01:36:09.000 I have many people that I know that that happened to.

01:36:12.000 Many people that I know that got injured, got on pills and just lost their lives.

01:36:16.000 Jiu-jitsu guys, friends, a lot of people.

01:36:19.000 Especially, again, back before the information was available.

01:36:23.000 Now everybody knows.

01:36:24.000 Pain pills are super, super addictive.

01:36:27.000 Everybody knows someone in their family.

01:36:29.000 Everybody knows someone that just can't get off them.

01:36:31.000 Everybody knows somebody that died.

01:36:33.000 I know multiple people that have died from pain pills.

01:36:37.000 Yeah. And so that's what got them.

01:36:40.000 But it's the same thing, man.

01:36:42.000 But that addiction is what makes you great, yeah.

01:36:43.000 Yeah, it's that thing in your head that makes you obsess on something.

01:36:46.000 That's what it is.

01:36:48.000 It's like this thing where you're trying to figure this thing out and you just want to get better at it.

01:36:52.000 But that could be hijacked by gambling.

01:36:55.000 That could be hijacked by video games.

01:36:57.000 That could be hijacked by anything.

01:36:59.000 Pussing, I've seen guys.

01:37:00.000 Yeah, I've seen guys.

01:37:01.000 Yeah. All that stuff.

01:37:03.000 That seems normal to me.

01:37:05.000 That, like, makes sense, like, biologically.

01:37:07.000 But the gambling one is the craziest one to me.

01:37:10.000 Yeah. That's the weirdest one.

01:37:11.000 Because that might as well be heroin to those people.

01:37:15.000 Whatever they're getting out of, like, risking $100,000 on a football game and just...

01:37:21.000 Watching people do that, I was like, oh.

01:37:23.000 Yeah. It gives me so much anxiety.

01:37:26.000 Oh, when you're in Vegas and you're walking through your casino, you just see people at that slot machine.

01:37:29.000 And they're just glazed over.

01:37:30.000 That's like the dumbest version of it, though.

01:37:32.000 But the big, risking everything on a game or risking everything on, like, roll the dice.

01:37:38.000 A roulette.

01:37:39.000 Yeah, a roulette.

01:37:40.000 Like, that kind of thing is so nuts.

01:37:43.000 It's so nuts to watch.

01:37:44.000 It gives me so much anxiety.

01:37:46.000 Like, you ever see Uncut Gems, that Alan Sandler movie?

01:37:48.000 It's one of the best movies.

01:37:49.000 I've seen it a hundred times, dude.

01:37:52.000 It's unreal.

01:37:53.000 And it just shows Adam Sandler in a way of like, oh, this motherfucker can act, act.

01:37:56.000 Act, act.

01:37:56.000 He can for real act.

01:37:57.000 For real act.

01:37:58.000 But yeah, that movie, I remember being in the theater with my wife and she's squirming. 1.00

01:38:02.000 And I was like, what's wrong?

01:38:03.000 You alright?

01:38:03.000 And she was like, this is making me uncomfortable, Derek.

01:38:06.000 Yeah. This is making me fucking uncomfortable.

01:38:09.000 Super uncomfortable.

01:38:10.000 And I was like, yeah, this movie, it was.

01:38:11.000 Because it's the adrenaline rush you're on.

01:38:13.000 You feel like you're gambling.

01:38:14.000 Well, the movie's so good.

01:38:15.000 It locks you in, like we were talking about comedies, like hypnosis.

01:38:19.000 That movie was like hypnosis.

01:38:20.000 It locked you in to this character and his decision-making.

01:38:24.000 And this addiction to gambling that he has.

01:38:26.000 And all the shady characters around.

01:38:28.000 Everybody's pulling scams.

01:38:30.000 And everybody's doing this and that.

01:38:31.000 And there's always something happening.

01:38:33.000 There's a few movies that can lock you into a character like that where you're like, I don't even agree with this person and I'm so invested.

01:38:39.000 And at the end of the movie, you're like, what the fuck?

01:38:43.000 Spoiler alert.

01:38:44.000 But it's one of those what the fuck moments where you're like, what the fuck?

01:38:49.000 That movie, I shut it off and I was just breathing heavy for five minutes.

01:38:54.000 Fuck! I like a movie like that, too, where you're like, this feels real.

01:38:58.000 This feels like it could happen to my neighbor, happen to my best friend.

01:39:02.000 This could happen to anyone.

01:39:03.000 You just get lost in this.

01:39:05.000 Yeah, your mind is weird, man.

01:39:07.000 People's minds are strange.

01:39:10.000 Minds can go down these weird pathways.

01:39:13.000 Most people don't have a good management system for it, either.

01:39:17.000 So it's like you're driving this car with no traction control and too much horsepower.

01:39:21.000 It's flying all over the road.

01:39:25.000 And you're freaked out.

01:39:26.000 You're always on ten.

01:39:28.000 Yeah, dude.

01:39:29.000 Another movie that makes you feel that way is There Will Be Blood.

01:39:32.000 Because that's the same.

01:39:33.000 Where you're watching a guy just go through this life and you're like, I'm getting uncomfortable.

01:39:39.000 He's killing his fake brother and he's fucking...

01:39:42.000 And by the end, like you said, the ending of that one as well, where you're like, the fuck is this?

01:39:47.000 I showed it to my wife, and she literally goes,"Derek, why the fuck did you show me that?" And I was like,"You had to see it.

01:39:52.000 You needed to experience this." That's how good this movie is.

01:39:55.000 I love a movie like that, where they give me an experience.

01:39:58.000 That's one of the greatest movies ever.

01:39:59.000 Ever. For experience, just for sheer...

01:40:04.000 Just becoming that guy.

01:40:05.000 Yes. He was that guy.

01:40:07.000 You believed every single second of it.

01:40:09.000 There was no soap opera acting going on at all.

01:40:13.000 No, dude.

01:40:14.000 This is my son, H.W. The way he talks.

01:40:16.000 Yeah. The way he is.

01:40:17.000 Yeah. Oh, my God.

01:40:18.000 And then you see him devolve into this crazy billionaire.

01:40:21.000 Because when we see crazy billionaires, we don't really...

01:40:23.000 And it's like to see how a person becomes a crazy billionaire.

01:40:26.000 Because he's not a regular guy in the beginning of the movie.

01:40:28.000 He falls, breaks his leg in that hole.

01:40:30.000 You know what I mean?

01:40:30.000 He's a regular dude.

01:40:31.000 There's a little element of that.

01:40:35.000 You have to manage that the same way everybody manages everything else.

01:40:41.000 Imagine trying to manage being Elon Musk.

01:40:45.000 Imagine trying to manage that.

01:40:48.000 Imagine. Just trying to manage that.

01:40:49.000 I don't know how he finds the time.

01:40:52.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:40:54.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:40:55.000 It doesn't even seem real.

01:40:57.000 It could possibly be real.

01:40:59.000 Yeah, because now he works for the government along with still trying to get us to Mars and all these other cool things he's doing.

01:41:03.000 You know what I mean?

01:41:04.000 And people are scrutinizing him at a level like they want him to be perfect in every way.

01:41:08.000 And it's like you don't get that out of these wacky geniuses.

01:41:12.000 You don't get perfect.

01:41:14.000 You get unbelievable capabilities mixed in with all kinds of flaws that even he makes fun of.

01:41:22.000 Like, you know.

01:41:23.000 He's even talked openly about self-inflicted wounds that he gives himself on Twitter.

01:41:30.000 He's posted about it with laughter emojis.

01:41:33.000 But he's having a good time, no matter what.

01:41:36.000 That would be like watching the There Will Be Blood guy also tweeting his thoughts.

01:41:40.000 You would see some shit where you're like, what the fuck?

01:41:43.000 Well, he's not that way.

01:41:45.000 He's not like a murderous fucking psychopath who steals people's oil.

01:41:48.000 I drink your milkshake!

01:41:52.000 He's not that.

01:41:55.000 It's a little bit in him.

01:41:56.000 It has to be.

01:41:57.000 Well, I think his drive is different than most of them, and his drive is accomplishments and innovation.

01:42:04.000 Like, he's obsessed with getting people to Mars.

01:42:07.000 He's obsessed with the engineering involved in what they've accomplished already with SpaceX.

01:42:12.000 The ability to take a booster, shoot it off into space, and then the booster comes down and lands and gets caught with robot arms is so off the charts beyond anything anyone else has accomplished in the world.

01:42:26.000 of rocketry and space science and all the engineering involved, it's off the charts.

01:42:31.000 Like what SpaceX has done...

01:42:33.000 It's not appreciated enough because he's so polarizing politically because of his affiliation with Trump and because of all the propaganda that has been spun his way.

01:42:44.000 There's some definite natural reactions that people have to him that are organic and real.

01:42:50.000 Upset at some of the things he does.

01:42:52.000 That's real.

01:42:52.000 But also, there's a gigantic propaganda machine that's trying to paint him as a literal Nazi.

01:42:58.000 And they're doing it because they have a vested interest in keeping all these NGOs and all their funding in place exactly the same way it's always been, and having a genius go into all of your fucking booking.

01:43:12.000 Bookkeeping and accounting is not good if you've been unchecked for decades and you have a fucking, just an unstoppable budget and a lot of waste and a lot of incompetence and probably a bunch of fraud and theft,

01:43:27.000 too. Of course.

01:43:28.000 Yeah, I mean, they've acknowledged that, you know?

01:43:31.000 One of the things they said, which is hilarious, they said he found, I think it was Social Security or Medicaid, a bunch of fraud, and then they were saying, well, actually, the government had already identified this two years ago.

01:43:41.000 Okay, but why didn't you have this press conference?

01:43:47.000 Did you just cover it up?

01:43:49.000 Did you make a big deal?

01:43:50.000 Did you stop it in its tracks?

01:43:52.000 Did you reverse it?

01:43:52.000 Did you prosecute people?

01:43:53.000 Did you get the money back?

01:43:55.000 Why are you saying,"Yeah, we already knew about that?

01:43:57.000 That's not good enough." What did you do?

01:43:59.000 How come you didn't find out about that $250 million that went to transgender animal studies?

01:44:04.000 You didn't notice that one?

01:44:06.000 You didn't notice $21 million through Iraq and Sesame Street?

01:44:10.000 You didn't notice that?

01:44:11.000 You didn't notice, like, fucking...

01:44:15.000 Just so much of it is kooky.

01:44:17.000 It's so much money.

01:44:18.000 And the way NGOs and nonprofits work, I didn't understand it.

01:44:23.000 I didn't know that it's all, like, cyclical money that's, like, flowing around.

01:44:26.000 There's billions of dollars.

01:44:27.000 It's just flowing around.

01:44:29.000 A lot of it's unchecked, and they've been doing it forever.

01:44:31.000 And that's why we're $36 trillion in debt.

01:44:34.000 You know?

01:44:35.000 Not good.

01:44:36.000 How? How?

01:44:37.000 How does it get that bad?

01:44:39.000 I don't know.

01:44:40.000 But then there's also legitimate arguments on the other side.

01:44:43.000 Like the other side is making a very legitimate argument about the right to due process if you get processed and shipped out of the country and put in a prison in El Salvador.

01:44:52.000 You know, what is the quote?

01:44:55.000 Was it Benjamin Franklin's quote about innocent and that it's better to allow 10 guilty people to go free than one innocent person arrested?

01:45:06.000 You know, I'm on that side of things.

01:45:09.000 Yeah. I mean, I think due process exists for a reason, and the reason is it is horrific for someone to be accused of something they didn't do, be imprisoned for crimes they didn't commit, and then live in a cell, live in a cage with a bunch of people who did commit shit.

01:45:25.000 Here it is, Benjamin Franklin.

01:45:27.000 It's better a hundred guilty persons should escape than one innocent person should suffer.

01:45:32.000 That is wisdom that has survived hundreds of years.

01:45:37.000 It's incredibly accurate.

01:45:38.000 And it is the foundation of freedom.

01:45:41.000 Like, we have to make sure that these people are actually guilty.

01:45:45.000 Otherwise, we become monsters.

01:45:47.000 You can't...

01:45:47.000 Like, what is that?

01:45:49.000 When you fight monsters, be careful that you don't become one.

01:45:51.000 Become one.

01:45:51.000 Yeah. Yeah.

01:45:52.000 It's very important.

01:45:54.000 It's very important.

01:45:55.000 You know, you can't do that.

01:45:58.000 But also, you can't...

01:45:59.000 You also have to deal with the fact that the...

01:46:02.000 Current administration is dealing with the past administration allowing known gang members and terrorists to go right through the border unchecked that a lot of them they know got through.

01:46:14.000 They don't know the exact numbers, but they know there's millions and millions of people illegally just walked through unchecked and...

01:46:23.000 A bunch of them have to have criminal records.

01:46:25.000 A bunch of them have to be dangerous.

01:46:27.000 And we've seen crimes that have been committed.

01:46:29.000 It doesn't help anybody on the progressive side to deny the fact that that's a real problem.

01:46:34.000 And if it happens to your family, God forbid, I don't want it to happen to anybody's, but if it does, you will feel a sting of regret if you supported that, unlike anything you've ever experienced in your life.

01:46:44.000 You'll be like, I mean, it's one of those things where...

01:46:51.000 To support one side of this, you have to deny some like basic human values.

01:46:59.000 Either way, like to support just rounding people up and just assuming they're all gang members.

01:47:05.000 I'm not saying they're doing that, but this is the worst case scenario, right?

01:47:08.000 They get a bunch of people in a room, they rope them all in, and one guy's just someone's cousin picking someone up to give them a ride home.

01:47:14.000 That's possible.

01:47:14.000 And now you're back on the one innocent person, and now you're right back.

01:47:17.000 And what if that dude is not doing anything wrong, and he's got some stupid tattoos, and they decide that this guy's a gang member, and now you're in a prison in El Salvador, and you're not even from El Salvador, and now, you know, you were just a hairdresser, or you were just a tattoo artist, or whatever you are.

01:47:31.000 You came over here, and maybe you got a green card, and maybe you don't.

01:47:35.000 Maybe you were just given asylum, because a lot of people from Venezuela were given asylum in America.

01:47:41.000 And then you get shipped to El Salvador, where you're not even from El Salvador.

01:47:45.000 So the fact that that exists scares the shit out of me.

01:47:49.000 But also the fact that...

01:47:51.000 They were just letting terrorists and gang members flow freely into the country is fucking horrible.

01:47:57.000 And when you talk about innocent people, what about the innocent people that got murdered by terrorists?

01:48:02.000 Well, not terrorists.

01:48:04.000 That really hasn't happened.

01:48:05.000 But gang members.

01:48:07.000 This trender wagwa that were taking over those apartment buildings in Aurora, Colorado. 0.99

01:48:12.000 That's scary shit, man.

01:48:13.000 Armed with machine guns, taking over apartment buildings.

01:48:16.000 What are we talking about here?

01:48:18.000 Like, what are we talking about?

01:48:19.000 You're letting that happen?

01:48:20.000 You're not sending in the troops to stop this?

01:48:22.000 Yeah, and you think that wouldn't, in your head, you're like, that can't happen in America, in Colorado.

01:48:26.000 Bro, they got a guy that had done that in California, and they refused to deport him because they said that California is a sanctuary state.

01:48:34.000 They're, like, fighting to keep a known gang member free in America.

01:48:40.000 The whole thing is bananas.

01:48:42.000 It's almost like you don't want to go full tinfoil hat Sam Tripoli style and just decide that they're trying to destroy America. 0.88

01:48:50.000 But if I was going to try to destroy America, that's how I would do it.

01:48:54.000 I'd take over the political process, impart censorship on all the social media, gaslight people to no end, consistently do it, astroturf stadiums filled with people pretending they support something, pay them to be there, manufacture a movement.

01:49:10.000 And slowly but surely bring chaos to all the cities.

01:49:14.000 Allow DAs to get elected that are the worst when it comes to protecting people and the best when it comes to freeing violent criminals.

01:49:23.000 And that's really their goal.

01:49:25.000 And they can just use words like racial justice.

01:49:29.000 Just send murderers back out into the streets.

01:49:32.000 You just create chaos.

01:49:33.000 Defund the police.

01:49:34.000 Now you have no police.

01:49:36.000 If I wanted to destroy America, I would do it this way.

01:49:39.000 What you just described sounds like a plan from another place.

01:49:43.000 If you wanted to destroy America.

01:49:45.000 Not with war, but let's just slowly let them kill themselves. 1.00

01:49:48.000 And then have them at each other's throats. 1.00

01:49:53.000 You know constantly have them fighting over political issues.

01:49:55.000 Let's get rid of Roe v. 1.00

01:49:57.000 Wade. They're a little too happy right now.

01:49:59.000 Get rid of Roe v. 0.97

01:50:00.000 Wade and the liberals are up in arms.

01:50:01.000 How are you motherfucker?

01:50:03.000 Which was getting rid of Roe v. 0.71

01:50:04.000 Wade was actually a good move if you were a Democrat because then people get upset and then they really want to vote like you could probably Ignite a lot of people and that was like There's some famous videos is one famous video of this lady celebrating that Kamala Harris is gonna win And she was like,

01:50:20.000 reproductive freedom.

01:50:21.000 Women came out to vote in unprecedented numbers.

01:50:24.000 I'm sure you've seen it.

01:50:25.000 It's a video of this lady mocking this guy working at a liquor store. 0.88

01:50:29.000 No. Did you ever see it?

01:50:29.000 Uh-uh, I didn't see this.

01:50:31.000 It's so good.

01:50:33.000 It's so good because it's like this lady and the way she's talking.

01:50:38.000 You can't be a good person and talk to someone this way or even about someone this way and be happy in the way you're happy.

01:50:45.000 It's like people like to be shitty.

01:50:48.000 To people and think that it's justifiable to be shitty if that person disagrees with you.

01:50:52.000 So you can be shitty.

01:50:53.000 Whereas the guy in this story is not being shitty to her at all, but she's being super shitty to this guy.

01:50:59.000 But she's talking about reproductive rights. 0.98

01:51:02.000 Because that was one of the big things that got people to come out and vote for the Democrats.

01:51:06.000 If I was playing 4D chess and I was a Democrat, I was like, this is what we do.

01:51:10.000 Get rid of it ourselves.

01:51:13.000 And then campaign on that.

01:51:15.000 Okay, now we got all the women. 1.00

01:51:17.000 Pissed off.

01:51:17.000 Because women don't want men telling them what to do.

01:51:19.000 Bitch, you can't get pregnant. 1.00

01:51:20.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:51:21.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:51:22.000 Just shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:51:23.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:51:23.000 Until you can get pregnant, shut the fuck up. 0.95

01:51:25.000 Yeah. It's like this or this lady. 1.00

01:51:28.000 You got it, Jamie?

01:51:29.000 Nope. You can find this video.

01:51:30.000 It's so funny.

01:51:31.000 This poor lady. 1.00

01:51:32.000 But it's about reproductive rights. 1.00

01:51:34.000 Like, she's saying that.

01:51:35.000 And it was for a lot of people.

01:51:37.000 That was a big one.

01:51:38.000 So you would do that.

01:51:40.000 You would do that.

01:51:40.000 You would get rid of that.

01:51:41.000 You would try to get rid of the Second Amendment.

01:51:42.000 Fuck the Second Amendment. 0.97

01:51:43.000 We're going to get rid of all guns.

01:51:44.000 Oh, the fucking gun guys.

01:51:45.000 Get up for the Republicans.

01:51:47.000 And then you would say, we need open borders because we need our society's population collapse.

01:51:53.000 And they're starting to say things like that.

01:51:55.000 And we need, you know, who's going to pick cotton? 1.00

01:52:00.000 They're essentially marketing it because they're saying Americans don't want these jobs, so we have to bring people in to pick our crops. 0.69

01:52:08.000 Who's going to clean your toilets? 1.00

01:52:09.000 People are openly saying that.

01:52:11.000 Like, not realizing how racist this sounds.

01:52:13.000 Oh, I remember that.

01:52:13.000 One white lady, she told me, she was like, who's going to clean your toilet if they get rid of all the Mexicans?

01:52:17.000 It's like, what the fuck?

01:52:18.000 Who said that?

01:52:19.000 It was like one of those crazy views.

01:52:21.000 View bitches? 1.00

01:52:21.000 She's one of them. 1.00

01:52:22.000 Or at least a show like that.

01:52:23.000 You know what I mean?

01:52:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:52:25.000 Hilarious. So there was that going on.

01:52:27.000 If you wanted to, like, destroy society and make it worse, what would you do?

01:52:31.000 You'd bring people in from a third-world country, don't have them change anything, financially incentivize them to be there, give them free money while you're not helping the poor people in America. 0.80

01:52:39.000 They were giving them debit cards, free housing, free food, putting them up in the Roosevelt Hotel in New York City.

01:52:45.000 Why old shit?

01:52:46.000 If you want to destroy society, that's how you would do it.

01:52:49.000 That's how you would do it.

01:52:50.000 I mean, that sounds...

01:52:51.000 Like it's working.

01:52:53.000 Like it's going in that direction.

01:52:54.000 So the problem with things that are going in a radical direction, then there's an overcorrection.

01:53:00.000 So the overcorrection is lack of due process.

01:53:03.000 The overcorrection is like, round them all up, ship them to jail.

01:53:07.000 That's like some things that you say when you're not thinking things through.

01:53:11.000 Like, what do you do about all the criminals?

01:53:12.000 Take them all, fucking send them to El Salvador. 1.00

01:53:15.000 What about due process?

01:53:17.000 No, fuck that.

01:53:18.000 But here's the problem with fuck that.

01:53:19.000 What if you...

01:53:21.000 Are an enemy of, let's not say any current president.

01:53:25.000 Let's pretend we got a new president, totally new guy in 2028.

01:53:29.000 And this is a common practice now of just rounding up gang members with no due process and shipping them to El Salvador.

01:53:37.000 You're a gang member.

01:53:38.000 No, I'm not.

01:53:39.000 Prove it.

01:53:40.000 What? I gotta go to court.

01:53:41.000 No due process.

01:53:44.000 That's dangerous, Joe.

01:53:45.000 That's dangerous.

01:53:49.000 We gotta be...

01:53:50.000 Careful that we don't become monsters while we're fighting monsters But then again, you got to find these motherfuckers that are here that have terrorist cells and that are ready to fucking blow up malls in Dallas and do crazy shit, which Definitely they've thwarted before. 1.00

01:54:06.000 Yeah, so like this is the best argument for Intelligence agencies is that there's real threats, you know like for someone to say fuck all the CIA fuck the FBI.

01:54:15.000 What are you crazy?

01:54:17.000 Who's gonna investigate real threats?

01:54:19.000 The real world exists.

01:54:21.000 As much as you want to pretend that we can all go kumbaya tomorrow if we all just lay down our arms, no.

01:54:28.000 There's people that are 48 years old and dedicated to crime.

01:54:32.000 They've been dedicated to crime in Guatemala, and now they're here. 1.00

01:54:36.000 And now they're selling fentanyl, and they're not going to stop.

01:54:38.000 They don't give a fuck.

01:54:40.000 And they're on EBT cards, where you're getting money from the government for free every month.

01:54:46.000 Because you're in a sanctuary city, and you get free food, and you're a criminal.

01:54:51.000 And then one of them, like two of them, assaulted cops in New York City, and then got out, got free.

01:54:55.000 No cash bail.

01:54:56.000 No cash bail.

01:54:57.000 You just get out.

01:54:59.000 They assaulted cops, and then they're on the street giving the Tupac to the camera.

01:55:02.000 Have you ever seen that?

01:55:03.000 No, Joe, what?

01:55:05.000 First of all, we've got to show you the Kamala Harris lady. 1.00

01:55:07.000 Do you got the Kamala Harris lady? 0.93

01:55:08.000 You can't find it?

01:55:09.000 They probably scrubbed it from the internet.

01:55:10.000 I mean, she's being shamed.

01:55:12.000 I'm not really sure what to look for.

01:55:14.000 You're putting a tinfoil hat on my head, right?

01:55:15.000 We don't have to show it.

01:55:18.000 Because we've already showed it a bunch of times.

01:55:20.000 It's how you would do it if you wanted to destroy America.

01:55:25.000 I'm not saying...

01:55:26.000 So the question becomes, like, how much of it is our own folly?

01:55:29.000 How much of it is just natural human behavior?

01:55:34.000 How much of it is, like...

01:55:35.000 The right wants law and order, so we don't want law and order.

01:55:39.000 The right wants to punish prisoners.

01:55:41.000 No, it's racist.

01:55:44.000 Racism. It's like, what is it?

01:55:47.000 That's just teams fighting.

01:55:49.000 But also, I feel like it's manipulated as well, and maybe more so than anything else.

01:55:54.000 I feel like it's manipulated.

01:55:55.000 And again, if you wanted to turn us into China, and what I mean by that is a country that's...

01:56:01.000 Facial recognition everywhere, social credit score system that's attached to all of your banking, your ability to travel, everything you do.

01:56:10.000 If you make anything online that's against the government, you could be disappeared, you could be locked up, you could be made a political prisoner.

01:56:21.000 You know, this is fun.

01:56:22.000 It felt like we were heading that way.

01:56:23.000 Yeah, I think this is something that, I think it was Metzger that said this.

01:56:26.000 No. It was Duncan that said this about Ukraine and Russia.

01:56:31.000 He's like do you realize like the Ukrainians that we're killing or that rather the Russians that we're killing by sending over arms and money to fund the Ukrainians not saying that we shouldn't do this but he's saying that a lot of those guys are being forced to go to the front line and a lot of those guys are prisoners who get released in order to fight. 0.67

01:56:54.000 So what if you're a prisoner because you wrote a bad tweet against Putin and they lock you up and then all of a sudden Ukrainians are killing you with American weapons because you tweeted bad against Putin. 0.76

01:57:08.000 So it's Putin's way of like eliminating any dissent from like...

01:57:15.000 They don't even arrest that many people online for doing things online in comparison to the UK.

01:57:20.000 The UK is getting in on it full steam ahead.

01:57:24.000 The UK is arresting people for anything that makes people uncomfortable online.

01:57:27.000 They show up at your house and just fucking arrest you.

01:57:30.000 How many people have been arrested in the UK for social media posts in the last year?

01:57:38.000 It's gonna blow your mind.

01:57:40.000 It's gonna blow your mind.

01:57:41.000 This is just post on social media like get you know We need to send these illegal immigrants back saying shit like that. 0.99

01:57:47.000 Yeah, you get arrested Arrested hate crime even if I'm joking even if I'm maybe I'm just fucking having there's no jokes.

01:57:53.000 No jokes online anymore Not in the UK not only that but the guy was the head of the UK They're saying now that they could potentially arrest Americans who have posted things online when they visit the UK Yeah,

01:58:09.000 I was reading a post about this.

01:58:10.000 Like, this law could potentially be used in this way.

01:58:14.000 That if you are a person in America and you're posting horrible shit about the UK government or the immigrant problem or whatever they have, context upon available information, exact figures 2025, not fully comprehend, 2023.

01:58:28.000 In 2023, 12,183 arrests were made across 37 police forces in the UK under Section 127 of the Communications Act.

01:58:38.000 2003, in Section 1 of the Malicious Communications Act in 1988, equating to about 33 arrests per day.

01:58:45.000 Laws cover sending grossly offensive, indecent, obscene, or menacing messages via electronic communication networks, which includes social media posts and also DMs.

01:58:57.000 DMs. So people have been arrested for...

01:59:00.000 Horrible DMs that nobody gets to see other than the friend that you're sending it to, supposedly.

01:59:05.000 You have no idea what the context is.

01:59:06.000 That's crazy.

01:59:07.000 I was checking into this one time recently.

01:59:08.000 It said that a lot of people may have been arrested, but many of them were not prosecuted and released very shortly after.

01:59:14.000 Right. Okay, that's cute.

01:59:15.000 It's still horrifying because what you're doing is scaring people into compliance.

01:59:21.000 They don't want to be arrested again, and they certainly don't want to risk being prosecuted, but they're forcing people to censor themselves.

01:59:29.000 I read it so that they're breaking the law.

01:59:31.000 I don't know which law they're breaking.

01:59:32.000 Well, no, they do have a law.

01:59:33.000 They don't have freedom of speech the way we have in America.

01:59:37.000 So they do have these hate speech laws.

01:59:39.000 So they are breaking a law.

01:59:40.000 But the question is, should that law exist?

01:59:42.000 And I say, no.

01:59:43.000 No, that law should not exist.

01:59:45.000 You shouldn't be able to put someone in a cage for saying...

01:59:47.000 And some of them are not that offensive.

01:59:50.000 Some of them are pretty fucking calm.

01:59:54.000 Oh, only 1,119 sentences.

01:59:58.000 Occurred for these offenses.

02:00:00.000 Okay, but the problem is now go look at how many people were arrested in Russia for social media posts.

02:00:07.000 It's drastically less.

02:00:08.000 But we think of Russia as being the country that censors people. 0.54

02:00:13.000 China and Russia, that's what you think.

02:00:14.000 Which they do.

02:00:15.000 You can't criticize Putin.

02:00:17.000 You can't go balls out.

02:00:18.000 You're risking your life.

02:00:19.000 You're in real trouble.

02:00:21.000 Not excusing that.

02:00:23.000 But what they're doing in the UK is...

02:00:27.000 At a higher level of magnitude.

02:00:28.000 I mean, maybe they're not torturing people and sending them to the front line of Ukraine, but they are putting the fear of being arrested in people if you say something that they don't want you to say on social media.

02:00:41.000 The jump from 2016 to 2023 is crazy.

02:00:44.000 Look at Russia. 0.82

02:00:45.000 2023, 54 people.

02:00:48.000 So in the time where 12,000 people...

02:00:51.000 We're arrested in the UK.

02:00:53.000 54 people were imprisoned for online hate speech in Russia.

02:00:56.000 This also says this information isn't very...

02:00:58.000 Russia's 100% accurate with their... 0.87

02:01:00.000 Easy to find.

02:01:01.000 Shut up, Jamie.

02:01:03.000 From 2010 to 2024, Novaya, Gazeta, Europe reported over 30,000 criminal and administrative cases related to social media posts.

02:01:14.000 With about 1,200 being criminal cases.

02:01:16.000 So they had 1,200 criminal cases.

02:01:18.000 Common charges include extremism, inciting hatred, or insulting state symbols.

02:01:23.000 That's where it gets sketchy.

02:01:25.000 I can't even make fun of the flag or a monument?

02:01:27.000 I can't make fun of it?

02:01:28.000 Nope. Insulting.

02:01:30.000 Making fun is insulting.

02:01:32.000 There's no room for humor in a communist country.

02:01:36.000 UK sucks, dude.

02:01:38.000 But it's not, you know, Russia's not communist, really, anymore.

02:01:44.000 It's a military dictatorship, essentially.

02:01:46.000 I mean, Putin was the president, and he could only do a certain amount of time, and then he stopped being the president, and he's like, fuck it, I'm the president again.

02:01:52.000 And then no one's going to win going against him.

02:01:55.000 We have elections, but what are you doing?

02:01:57.000 The guys wind up getting poisoned and shot, and they're like, it's old school.

02:02:01.000 Yeah, he's fucking...

02:02:02.000 It's old school.

02:02:03.000 He's running that place.

02:02:04.000 It's his.

02:02:05.000 That's his.

02:02:05.000 You're not taking over.

02:02:06.000 Man, I seen that picture of him, shirtless on a horse, and I'm like, don't fuck with this dude.

02:02:10.000 Yeah, he's a killer.

02:02:11.000 He's a former KGB killer.

02:02:14.000 He's a judo black belt.

02:02:16.000 He's a bad man.

02:02:18.000 And he runs that country.

02:02:21.000 And they arrest less people.

02:02:23.000 Yeah, what the fuck is going on in the UK?

02:02:26.000 They're leaning into the same direction that I was talking about that was scaring me about America.

02:02:31.000 I feel like there's a plot.

02:02:34.000 There's a plot to diminish the fabric of society.

02:02:36.000 Like, if you want...

02:02:37.000 Okay. Let's...

02:02:40.000 Let's just look at the whole overall world and is it fair?

02:02:44.000 It's definitely not fair.

02:02:46.000 Clearly there's a reason why these people in these third world countries want to come to Europe and why they want to come to America because it's better here and it's better there and they want a better life.

02:02:54.000 I get it.

02:02:55.000 But why are they fleeing where they came from?

02:02:59.000 We bombed the shit out of those places.

02:03:01.000 We bombed the shit out of those places.

02:03:03.000 We drone bombed them.

02:03:05.000 We overthrew democratically elected governments with coups.

02:03:09.000 There's a lot of instability that's caused by us.

02:03:12.000 Like, well, it's our fault.

02:03:13.000 We're going to take these people in.

02:03:15.000 I think instead of fucking up this one country by letting everybody come in and drag it down to a third world country, I think a better solution is figure out a way to prop up.

02:03:27.000 These other countries.

02:03:28.000 The same way, I mean, in a simplistic version of it, like, if you want everything for yourself, you're selfish, but you want everything for all your boys, too, and everybody.

02:03:35.000 Everybody gets better.

02:03:37.000 The whole world gets better.

02:03:38.000 So instead of, like, shipping off jobs to Mexico where they get a dollar a day, maybe pay them real money.

02:03:45.000 Pay them what you're supposed to be paying them.

02:03:47.000 Maybe give them health care.

02:03:49.000 Maybe give them...

02:03:50.000 Maybe if you are an American citizen and you want to hire someone to do something, you have to hire someone under the same structure of ethics that we agree to in the United States.

02:04:00.000 Period. Yes.

02:04:02.000 Period. For all humans all over the world.

02:04:05.000 If the money translates lower because the American dollar is worth more, okay.

02:04:11.000 But balance it out.

02:04:12.000 Make it that, you know, they can afford food, they can afford housing, they can afford healthcare.

02:04:17.000 Make laws.

02:04:19.000 Agreed. And then all of a sudden you prop up the whole world.

02:04:23.000 And the whole world stops having third world countries, including in the United States. 0.98

02:04:29.000 Like, why do we still have ghettos? 0.98

02:04:31.000 Why have we put all this money into funding all these different things with, like, U.S. aid all over the world?

02:04:37.000 And the south side of Chicago has the same amount of murders every year, if not more.

02:04:41.000 More? Every year?

02:04:42.000 Every year.

02:04:43.000 Baltimore, same place.

02:04:44.000 We had a cop in once, way back in the day, that he was a cop in Baltimore.

02:04:51.000 And while they were working one day, he found a rap sheet, like a rest sheet of...

02:04:57.000 All these different crimes that were committed in all these different areas from, like, the 1970s.

02:05:02.000 And it was all the same shit that's happening today.

02:05:06.000 And he realized, like, oh, my God, it's never going to end.

02:05:09.000 Like, you're never going to fix this.

02:05:11.000 It's all the same problems in the same areas and nothing's being done.

02:05:15.000 The same drug arrests, the same violence, the same this, the same that.

02:05:20.000 All in the same places.

02:05:21.000 And all in these areas, mysteriously, all in these same areas that had been redlined during the Jim Crow era, where black people couldn't buy houses where the white neighborhoods are. 0.57

02:05:31.000 They had to buy houses in one area.

02:05:32.000 And those areas are fucked.

02:05:34.000 And no one's corrected it.

02:05:35.000 Even now.

02:05:36.000 It doesn't make sense.

02:05:37.000 But you think that's just that hard to let go of that feeling of, I have to be better than someone.

02:05:42.000 It's nice to know you're doing better than somebody else.

02:05:46.000 It's something about human beings that they like.

02:05:48.000 I think it's convenient to ignore people that you're not going to profit from.

02:05:53.000 If you are investing a bunch of money in green energy or investing a bunch of money in whatever stupid shit you're doing with windmills, someone's making money.

02:06:01.000 There's a lot of people making money.

02:06:02.000 Is money being exchanged?

02:06:03.000 If you're fixing South Side of Chicago, if you're creating community centers and robust education and counseling and providing mentorship and paths to jobs and giving people an opportunity to make real money that's enticing so they don't want to sell drugs or kill people.

02:06:21.000 Like, how are you making money doing that?

02:06:24.000 You're not.

02:06:24.000 And so people don't do it.

02:06:26.000 It's that simple.

02:06:27.000 But it's like what you just said.

02:06:28.000 If everyone was doing good, the world would naturally rise.

02:06:31.000 Exactly. But it would take time.

02:06:33.000 I guess you're right.

02:06:33.000 It's not a direct profit.

02:06:34.000 It would take generations.

02:06:35.000 But there's no effort being done to it.

02:06:37.000 So this guy that's seeing these crimes that were committed in the same area in Baltimore in the 1970s, and this is in the 2000s, he's seeing the same shit.

02:06:44.000 He's like, this is crazy.

02:06:46.000 This is the real systemic racism.

02:06:49.000 This is the real problem.

02:06:53.000 It's not like black people can't make it in America.

02:06:56.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:06:56.000 It's like there's an echo of past atrocities that exist in these pockets that's not being addressed.

02:07:04.000 It's never been healed.

02:07:05.000 Yeah. It's never been healed.

02:07:07.000 There's a convenience in allowing it to stay that way.

02:07:10.000 Like, you can count on them to vote a certain way.

02:07:12.000 If you keep giving them welfare, if you keep giving them food stamps, the people that want that are always the Democrats.

02:07:18.000 So those people are always going to vote Democrat for you.

02:07:20.000 So, like, it's within your best interest to not make them, like, conservative Republicans or, like, very disciplined and work real hard and get to the gym at 4.30 before they show up at work at 7 and kick some ass and make some fucking money, Wilson.

02:07:33.000 You know?

02:07:33.000 You don't want that.

02:07:34.000 It's convenient, because then they'll vote for you every time.

02:07:37.000 As soon as they start making money and realize, like, what is the government spending my fucking taxes on?

02:07:41.000 That's what changes you.

02:07:42.000 Immediately. The moment you make some money.

02:07:44.000 Oh, you become a Republican.

02:07:45.000 Quick. Quick.

02:07:48.000 You have any hippies that I know became Republicans after they started making money?

02:07:52.000 Yeah. Yeah.

02:07:53.000 Yeah. Because 50% of your money...

02:07:55.000 And you're living in a shitty...

02:07:57.000 You're like, wait, I don't...

02:07:58.000 Hold on.

02:07:58.000 And they're letting criminals out.

02:07:59.000 You're like, what is happening?

02:08:00.000 Why does my car keep getting broken into?

02:08:02.000 Like, what do you do?

02:08:02.000 Why are there people camped in front of my fucking house?

02:08:04.000 I gave you 50% of my money.

02:08:05.000 Yeah, this is crazy.

02:08:07.000 Dylan has a great bit about it.

02:08:08.000 About the California offering tax breaks for people that take a homeless person into their house.

02:08:16.000 Yeah, he's the man, dude.

02:08:18.000 It's one of the clips that he put up because he's got a new special that's out now.

02:08:21.000 Yeah. That he filmed at the mothership.

02:08:23.000 But it's so funny and so true.

02:08:25.000 It's like they're just trying to destroy society.

02:08:28.000 What better way to destroy your house?

02:08:30.000 You have a wife and child.

02:08:31.000 What better way to destroy your house than to bring some fentanyl addict in?

02:08:35.000 This is how you're going to create more chaos.

02:08:37.000 And then California is trying to pass a new law that's being proposed where if someone breaks into your house and threatens your life, you're not allowed to shoot them.

02:08:45.000 In your house! 0.78

02:08:47.000 Imagine someone breaks into your house and is trying to get you, has a knife coming towards you.

02:08:51.000 You're not allowed to kill them.

02:08:53.000 What am I allowed to do?

02:08:54.000 You're supposed to run away.

02:08:57.000 This hasn't passed yet.

02:09:01.000 There's no way it can.

02:09:02.000 That doesn't even.

02:09:03.000 It's so crazy, dude.

02:09:06.000 It's so crazy.

02:09:07.000 It's so crazy.

02:09:08.000 It's almost like they're trying to destroy people's confidence in law enforcement, confidence in community, the feeling of being safe, ramp up everybody's level of anxiety, and then offer a solution.

02:09:20.000 And the solution is to disarm everybody.

02:09:23.000 The solution is to clamp down further and further on gun laws, make it very difficult to have a gun.

02:09:28.000 You can't have magazines more than 10 rounds.

02:09:31.000 You can't concealed carry.

02:09:33.000 You can't do this.

02:09:34.000 You can't do that.

02:09:34.000 If you have it in your car, you have to have the bullets in the trunk and the pistols supposed to be locked up.

02:09:41.000 There's all these crazy laws that are just slowly but surely trying to take away your...

02:09:46.000 And you can say, no, those laws to keep people from road rage and shootings and criminals commit crime.

02:09:52.000 Laws don't stop criminals from breaking laws. 0.98

02:09:56.000 Laws keep law-abiding people from protecting themselves.

02:10:01.000 Damn. That's the fact.

02:10:03.000 That's the fact.

02:10:03.000 A criminal's going to do it anyway.

02:10:05.000 The gun's illegal.

02:10:07.000 The fucking identification number has been sawed off.

02:10:13.000 What are you talking about?

02:10:14.000 Like you said, they've been driven to that point.

02:10:16.000 If I'm at that point, there is no rule that's going to stop me.

02:10:19.000 There's no rule.

02:10:20.000 Have you ever seen that show, Trafficked?

02:10:23.000 Mm-mm.

02:10:23.000 This is an amazing show called Trafficked, and they went down to L.A., and they followed these rogue cops who are bringing guns into Mexico and selling them.

02:10:40.000 Whoa. Yeah.

02:10:41.000 That's one of the episodes.

02:10:44.000 That's fucking crazy.

02:10:46.000 Yeah, Mariana Benzella. 1.00

02:10:47.000 She's amazing.

02:10:48.000 She's been in the podcast a few times.

02:10:50.000 Brilliant. It's fearless this lady. 0.96

02:10:52.000 She went to Columbia into the jungle where they were making coke and then went with the mules, hiked it out with backpacks full of coke.

02:11:04.000 They had backpacks and she followed them and hiked it out.

02:11:07.000 They showed her how they make the coke, where they make the coke.

02:11:11.000 They changed the wording on this bill.

02:11:14.000 Oh, interesting.

02:11:15.000 This is where it's scratched out.

02:11:17.000 Scratched out part says the bill would eliminate certain circumstances under which homicide is justifiable, including amongst others, in defense of a habitation or property.

02:11:26.000 The bill would additionally clarify circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including among others, when a person uses more force than necessary to defend against a danger.

02:11:37.000 What does that mean?

02:11:38.000 That means you shoot a guy more than once.

02:11:39.000 I gotta know he's down.

02:11:41.000 Right, but you killed him instead of just shooting him.

02:11:43.000 That's what they're saying.

02:11:44.000 But you don't under...

02:11:45.000 With this bill, this bill is like not understanding fight or flight and violence and the chaos of you realizing your life.

02:11:53.000 Or your family's life.

02:11:55.000 What? You just want to shoot that person.

02:11:58.000 This is what it says about that part.

02:11:59.000 Okay. The bill would eliminate that provision.

02:12:02.000 The bill would also specify certain circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including when a person was outside their habitation or property and did not retreat when they could have safely done so, when a person used more force than a reasonable person would have.

02:12:17.000 So that right there.

02:12:18.000 Listen to that.

02:12:19.000 A person was outside their habitation or property and did not retreat.

02:12:23.000 When they could have safely done so.

02:12:25.000 Meaning if someone's breaking into your house, you're on the outside of the house, you don't go into the house to confront them.

02:12:31.000 You retreat.

02:12:32.000 You're supposed to retreat.

02:12:33.000 What if I have family in the house?

02:12:35.000 That's a good question.

02:12:38.000 This rule already is like, well, this doesn't make sense.

02:12:39.000 It says it specifies the circumstances, so that might be...

02:12:43.000 But no, but Jamie, you would do it in the context of the sentence.

02:12:46.000 This bill would also specify certain circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including when a person was outside their habitation or property.

02:12:54.000 But it's not, like, it's not...

02:12:55.000 If you're outside, it's saying you have to try to retreat.

02:12:58.000 Right, right, right.

02:12:59.000 But what if someone's in your home?

02:13:00.000 That doesn't clarify that.

02:13:01.000 So there's circumstances when it still could be.

02:13:03.000 It's just that there's certain circumstances when it's not justifiable.

02:13:05.000 It still could be.

02:13:06.000 Right. But the certain circumstances is listed, including when a person was outside.

02:13:12.000 I understand.

02:13:12.000 He brought up a situation.

02:13:13.000 Jamie, it's obvious.

02:13:14.000 It's obvious.

02:13:15.000 I'm just saying.

02:13:16.000 I read.

02:13:16.000 I'm reading.

02:13:17.000 This is not necessary.

02:13:18.000 And did not retreat when they could have safely done so.

02:13:20.000 When a person used more force than a reasonable person.

02:13:24.000 That's so subjective.

02:13:25.000 I don't know.

02:13:26.000 That's not a real thing.

02:13:27.000 What about Tim Kennedy?

02:13:28.000 Is he reasonable?

02:13:29.000 That's not a reason.

02:13:30.000 What about Jocko?

02:13:32.000 Is Jocko reasonable?

02:13:33.000 Yeah. But people have to keep their cool.

02:13:37.000 What'd you say, Jimmy?

02:13:38.000 That's when you win a good jury, too.

02:13:40.000 Good luck.

02:13:41.000 I'm just saying.

02:13:42.000 Why would you count on that?

02:13:44.000 I'm not saying you're counting on it.

02:13:45.000 I'm just saying that's why you want one.

02:13:46.000 I didn't say that's why you need one.

02:13:48.000 I said that's why you want one.

02:13:49.000 If I was a judge, I'd say you're argumentative.

02:13:51.000 However, the bill would specify that homicide is justifiable if the initial aggressor actually...

02:13:58.000 and in good faith tried to stop fighting and indicated they wanted to and tried to stop fighting as specified or in cases of mutual combat the initial aggressor gave the opponent an opportunity to stop fighting so if someone starts fucking you up and then gives you an opponent it gives you an opportunity rather to stop fighting and you don't you keep fighting them and kill them but they've already started fighting with you You're in danger zone.

02:14:25.000 To be reasonable while your life is in danger is to open yourself up to getting fucked up.

02:14:31.000 Because it's like, no, no, come on, man.

02:14:33.000 It was like, bang, motherfucker!

02:14:34.000 And then you're out cold.

02:14:36.000 You've already engaged in violence.

02:14:38.000 It's so subjective whether or not you should stop or not stop.

02:14:42.000 When you should stop is when that person's 100% incapacitated.

02:14:46.000 And that might mean kill them.

02:14:48.000 If you don't know what's going to stop them.

02:14:50.000 If you have a gun and someone is charging at you with a fucking machete and you bang, bang, bang while they're still alive and that winds up killing them, you could have just shot them once.

02:15:01.000 You could be in front of a jury and they could say, you could have stopped with the first bullet.

02:15:05.000 And then you have a coroner who says, yes, the first bullet was fatal.

02:15:08.000 Or, yes, the first bullet would have stopped him, but he shot him two additional times.

02:15:12.000 Like, now you're in jail.

02:15:15.000 Now you're in jail because you were in terrified of your life and you thought you were gonna die and you did something in a split moment where you're not even thinking straight like you're you're To ask an accountant to keep his shit together in a look if you ask a Navy SEAL to keep his shit together and they're they're fucking they're probably like oh Finally someone broke into my house.

02:15:36.000 Oh this motherfucker.

02:15:37.000 Yeah, but some guy actually did try to break into Tim Kennedy's house And he, you know, he didn't even hurt the guy.

02:15:43.000 He just said, you made a giant mistake.

02:15:47.000 He came up with a gun and got rid of the guy.

02:15:50.000 That's like those guys who start bar fights with UFC dudes.

02:15:53.000 You see those kind of videos?

02:15:54.000 Bro. Where you're like, oh, brother.

02:15:56.000 You've seen the Joe Schilling one, right?

02:15:57.000 Oh, he bumps it.

02:15:58.000 He kind of like, some dude's dancing and just being a dick.

02:16:01.000 Yeah. And then he gets him at the bar and just bump up, bump.

02:16:04.000 It's so quick.

02:16:04.000 Well, the dude tried to get him to flinch.

02:16:06.000 Yeah, he jumped at him.

02:16:08.000 Jumped at him.

02:16:08.000 And he just, ding, ding, ding.

02:16:10.000 The wrong dude.

02:16:11.000 I mean, that's karma.

02:16:13.000 Yeah. Those things almost make me feel like we're in a simulation.

02:16:18.000 That's supposed to happen in that order.

02:16:21.000 When someone just hits a level of douchiness, you're supposed to run into Joe Schilling.

02:16:26.000 That's the perfect karmic response to a negative and a positive and a thing. 0.86

02:16:32.000 I go in and out.

02:16:35.000 I just feel like we have to be really careful in this country that we don't get more divided by all this fucking political chaos that we're experiencing.

02:16:45.000 We've got to be real careful as human beings that we don't fall prey to that.

02:16:48.000 This is not smart for anybody.

02:16:52.000 No, dude.

02:16:53.000 It's not smart.

02:16:54.000 There's so much unnecessary conflict, you know?

02:16:58.000 Well, it's usually...

02:16:59.000 And it's just people picking that one side.

02:17:01.000 And like you said, you can't...

02:17:03.000 Of course, I don't think people should be coming to the country and all that stuff, but I also do think women should be able to do what they want with the fucking baby in their stomach. 1.00

02:17:10.000 You know what I mean?

02:17:11.000 Up to a point, right?

02:17:12.000 Up to a point, of course.

02:17:13.000 But like you said, if some woman got raped and she's pregnant now, like, yeah, let her, what are we doing right now? 0.99

02:17:18.000 What are we doing?

02:17:19.000 Where's the human aspect of it?

02:17:21.000 And then also, like, if you don't feel for people that walked here with their babies because they just want to get a job as a landscaper, like, I get it.

02:17:27.000 Let them have it.

02:17:28.000 I just, but how do you know?

02:17:31.000 I think the process for getting people in should be – but it's also – it's like how many can we support?

02:17:37.000 Like what kind of a strain is this on Social Security?

02:17:41.000 What kind of a strain is this on Medicare?

02:17:43.000 Have this been – and is there a way to like make where they're from better?

02:17:48.000 And wouldn't that like increase – Revenues?

02:17:51.000 If all of a sudden you had another country right next door that's buying and trading and making tons of money, wouldn't that be better for everybody?

02:17:59.000 If they stopped being a third world country and became a first world country, wouldn't that be super beneficial?

02:18:04.000 Has that never come up?

02:18:06.000 Why don't we just try to make this place a better place?

02:18:10.000 This is what you've got to realize when it comes to politicians.

02:18:13.000 Most of them are already dead or on their way.

02:18:17.000 Unless you're J.D. Vance, he's really young.

02:18:19.000 Tulsi Gabbard's young.

02:18:20.000 Yeah, Tulsi's the shit. 1.00

02:18:20.000 Most of these people, when you're in office, like Trump is almost 80. Biden, did you see what Biden said yesterday? 1.00

02:18:28.000 What did he say?

02:18:28.000 Oh. Jay, did you see it?

02:18:30.000 Nope. They let him talk.

02:18:35.000 He's like, what, 80-something, 90?

02:18:37.000 Out of nowhere, they let him talk.

02:18:39.000 And I'm like, who's letting him talk?

02:18:41.000 This is crazy.

02:18:43.000 Here, I'll send you this, Jamie.

02:18:45.000 It's so silly.

02:18:46.000 He's fucking gone, bro.

02:18:48.000 He's gone, and they let him talk.

02:18:50.000 They just let him get out in the open and put a microphone in front of his face.

02:18:54.000 But I guess, like, as a former president, you can kind of request...

02:18:59.000 Speak my mind!

02:19:02.000 One day just had just enough mixture.

02:19:06.000 They filled them up with enough peptides. 0.61

02:19:07.000 Got a little pep in his step.

02:19:09.000 You're feeling good.

02:19:09.000 Yeah, man, it's a former president.

02:19:12.000 Give me some volume and go full screen because this is you got to see his face And I had never seen

02:19:24.000 I'd never seen hardly any black people in Scranton at the time, and I was only going in fourth grade.

02:19:31.000 And I remember seeing the kids going by at the time called colored kids on a bus going by.

02:19:36.000 They never turned right to go to Claymont High School.

02:19:39.000 I wondered why.

02:19:39.000 I asked my mom, why?

02:19:42.000 So in Delaware, they're not allowed to go to school, in public school, with white kids hunting. 1.00

02:19:49.000 That sparked my sense of outrage as a kid, just like it does-- I mean-- And these young kids right here can tell you things affect them when they learn about something that's really just unfair and unjust.

02:20:00.000 You know, my dad, my dad was an honorable man.

02:20:05.000 And my dad used to have an expression.

02:20:08.000 He said, Joey, your job's about a lot more than a paycheck.

02:20:11.000 It's about your dignity.

02:20:13.000 It's about respect.

02:20:14.000 It's about being able to look your kid in the eye and say, honey, it's going to be okay and mean it.

02:20:21.000 That's what you're all about.

02:20:23.000 That's what the legislation is about.

02:20:26.000 It's about dignity.

02:20:29.000 Simple dignity.

02:20:31.000 Everyone, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.

02:20:36.000 Regardless of their standard, regardless of their economic system, regardless of who they are.

02:20:41.000 Yeah! Making sure that more than 60 million Americans who are living with disabilities are treated with dignity.

02:20:49.000 It's who we are as Americans.

02:20:52.000 That's what it's about.

02:20:55.000 I hope he does more.

02:20:56.000 We should have him at the mothership.

02:20:57.000 Yeah, we got him.

02:20:58.000 Let him go up.

02:20:58.000 Give him 10. Give him an hour.

02:21:00.000 At school, in their communities.

02:21:02.000 Give him a drink.

02:21:03.000 He might die.

02:21:04.000 In every corner of American life, laws like the ADA need advocates like you.

02:21:11.000 You can tell he got something.

02:21:12.000 He took something that morning.

02:21:14.000 He was fired up.

02:21:15.000 He was feeling good.

02:21:15.000 They got him on a good dose.

02:21:17.000 He had a nice nap.

02:21:18.000 He had a good nap.

02:21:20.000 But it's crazy to let him do that, because now we know he wasn't really running the country.

02:21:25.000 Yeah. We used to think he was actually running the country, and now they're like, no, he didn't even see those executive orders.

02:21:30.000 Like, that was all auto-penned.

02:21:34.000 He didn't even sign those things.

02:21:35.000 Yeah, it is crazy how old they are.

02:21:36.000 That's a weird, that auto-pen's a weird thing.

02:21:38.000 How lazy are you, bitch? 1.00

02:21:39.000 How many, how many...

02:21:40.000 How many things are you signing that you have to auto-pen things?

02:21:43.000 That's crazy that you can auto-pen.

02:21:44.000 The whole thing is supposed to be signature.

02:21:46.000 That's your job.

02:21:47.000 Also, that's the thing.

02:21:48.000 That's your job.

02:21:48.000 You read it, you go over it, you make sure it's right, and you sign it.

02:21:51.000 What the fuck are you doing?

02:21:51.000 What are we paying?

02:21:52.000 I don't understand shit, man.

02:21:53.000 What the fuck are we doing?

02:21:54.000 What are we doing?

02:21:55.000 How are you auto-penning shit?

02:21:57.000 That's the crazy thing about all those pardons.

02:22:00.000 How many pardons did he have?

02:22:02.000 I think he had 9,000 pardons, and it was all auto-penned.

02:22:07.000 So it's like everybody's like, if I had imagined, like worst case scenario, I'm not assuming or accusing anybody doing this, but I would imagine if you got a hold of that auto pen, be like, yo, yo, yo, I got the auto pen.

02:22:21.000 Who needs?

02:22:22.000 All the boys is out.

02:22:23.000 I need money.

02:22:25.000 I'm trying to get rich, and you're trying to get free, and let's get something rolling.

02:22:31.000 Just hitting that button.

02:22:33.000 First of all, if you can't be tried, Because they decide that you're mentally incapable of standing trial.

02:22:38.000 That's what they said about him.

02:22:40.000 They were going to try him on some classified documents case.

02:22:44.000 They said the judge ruled that he was incapable of standing trial while he was running for president for the second term.

02:22:53.000 While he was running for president, they were saying he's incapable of standing trial.

02:22:56.000 So if we're saying that there's something wrong with him cognitively, but we're still allowing him to give people pardons?

02:23:03.000 Like if he can't...

02:23:04.000 If he's not sane enough, if he's not there enough to stand trial, how could he be there enough to decide whether or not someone deserves a pardon?

02:23:14.000 That seems insane.

02:23:16.000 And then, how could he use the auto pen?

02:23:20.000 He's like, what about that guy?

02:23:21.000 Yes, pardon him!

02:23:22.000 What about that guy?

02:23:23.000 Let him off! 1.00

02:23:24.000 He deserves it!

02:23:27.000 9,000!

02:23:28.000 There's no way.

02:23:29.000 If you have all the time in the world, how are you going over 9,000 cases?

02:23:34.000 Most of those were the marijuana releases.

02:23:36.000 Well, that's nice.

02:23:37.000 How many of them?

02:23:39.000 6,500 or so.

02:23:41.000 Oh, that's nice.

02:23:42.000 But auto-pinning it is, when you think about what that means, that is crazy.

02:23:46.000 That's crazy.

02:23:47.000 Yeah. It's just, is that shit for sale?

02:23:53.000 Pardons are crazy anyway.

02:23:55.000 You just let somebody out of jail because you're the king.

02:23:57.000 Because you're the king?

02:23:57.000 I'm the king.

02:23:58.000 Fucking fuck that trial.

02:24:02.000 Yeah. Fuck that jury.

02:24:04.000 I like that guy.

02:24:04.000 You're free, bro.

02:24:05.000 I don't mind it.

02:24:06.000 Yeah. That's crazy power.

02:24:08.000 Let people out of jail.

02:24:11.000 You know?

02:24:12.000 And mass numbers.

02:24:14.000 What was the total?

02:24:15.000 I'm trying to find the exact number.

02:24:17.000 Okay. Because 9,000.

02:24:18.000 But 6,500, I agree with.

02:24:20.000 I agree with all those marijuana ones.

02:24:21.000 Well, yeah.

02:24:22.000 That's not a real thing.

02:24:23.000 I feel bad.

02:24:24.000 That's the craziest shit that there were people in Colorado that were in jail for selling marijuana, looking out the window of their prison.

02:24:32.000 To marijuana dealerships.

02:24:35.000 Selling marijuana.

02:24:37.000 Legally. And nice packaging.

02:24:40.000 With barcodes on it.

02:24:42.000 Cartoon characters smiling when they're high on them.

02:24:45.000 Snoop Dogg on the cover of a bag.

02:24:47.000 See, that's the good thing about progressive governments, right?

02:24:51.000 Progressive governments like Colorado, they realize that people's right to experiment with all kinds of different things, including alcohol.

02:25:00.000 But also, like, you should have the freedom to take things.

02:25:04.000 You should have the freedom to explore your own consciousness.

02:25:08.000 And Colorado agreed with that real early.

02:25:10.000 You know?

02:25:11.000 That's the good thing about progressive governments.

02:25:13.000 And that's the bad thing about a lot of conservative governments.

02:25:16.000 They want to stop you from doing that.

02:25:17.000 You know?

02:25:18.000 They want to prosecute people for that fucking grass.

02:25:21.000 That dirty...

02:25:22.000 Where's your dope?

02:25:24.000 You're fucking dope.

02:25:25.000 Yeah, they don't like it when your mind opens up a little bit.

02:25:28.000 But you said it earlier.

02:25:29.000 Oh, man, if we could just get everybody on mushrooms, everybody might love each other and all these things.

02:25:32.000 Yeah. That is scary.

02:25:33.000 I don't think they think that way, though.

02:25:35.000 8,000.

02:25:36.000 A record-setting number includes a collective act of over 6,500 individuals for marijuana possession convictions.

02:25:43.000 So it's really not like he has more than anybody else.

02:25:48.000 Yeah, Washington did it.

02:25:49.000 Yeah, it looks like more than everybody else.

02:25:53.000 Because it's just 6,500.

02:25:55.000 He actually only released 1,500 then.

02:25:58.000 Yeah, look at Andrew Johnson.

02:25:59.000 It ended up being closer to 9,000, I think, at the end of the day.

02:26:02.000 Oh, at the end?

02:26:03.000 So even then, 2,500, pretty normal.

02:26:06.000 Yeah. Like, how many did...

02:26:08.000 Obama did...

02:26:10.000 Almost 2,000.

02:26:12.000 What about Trump?

02:26:14.000 He did 1,500 on the first day, because there were all the January 6th people.

02:26:17.000 How come Trump didn't free Joe Exotic?

02:26:19.000 Let him go.

02:26:20.000 Tiger King 3. We need it.

02:26:24.000 He'll need a 230 on the first term.

02:26:27.000 Oh, only 237.

02:26:28.000 That's not a lot.

02:26:30.000 Oh, so the new one, when he came back, he pardoned 1,500 individuals connected to General.

02:26:35.000 They keep saying Capitol riots.

02:26:38.000 Yeah. But Andrew Johnson, 8,000.

02:26:43.000 Pardons? That's what it said.

02:26:44.000 Andrew Johnson.

02:26:45.000 He sold those bitches. 1.00

02:26:47.000 For silver coins.

02:26:50.000 sitting in his fucking bathtub with all these silver coins. 0.95

02:26:59.000 But that's crazy that pardons were going back all the way to George Washington.

02:27:02.000 Yeah, how many did George Washington have?

02:27:04.000 A lot, right?

02:27:04.000 1,700?

02:27:05.000 Is that what it said?

02:27:10.000 Good old George.

02:27:11.000 Yeah. It's crazy.

02:27:12.000 I just got into that stuff because I saw Hamilton like two weeks ago for the first time.

02:27:16.000 Oh yeah?

02:27:16.000 You ever seen that?

02:27:17.000 No. Is it good?

02:27:19.000 Brother. You see it on Broadway?

02:27:21.000 Brother. I saw it on, they brought it to Texas, the Bass Concert Hall.

02:27:25.000 And then in these last like three weeks, I have studied everything.

02:27:28.000 I'm addicted to it, bro.

02:27:29.000 Really? Joe?

02:27:31.000 Derek? It's the second greatest piece of art to ever be art.

02:27:35.000 What's number one?

02:27:36.000 Harry Potter books.

02:27:40.000 I wish you were here for this argument.

02:27:41.000 Harry Potter books is number one.

02:27:43.000 When he was going off at Mitty's about this.

02:27:45.000 Well, these motherfuckers was trying to bring up the Bible. 0.94

02:27:47.000 It's like, get the fuck out of here, dude.

02:27:49.000 Harry Potter's better than the Bible?

02:27:50.000 Not even close.

02:27:51.000 Really? It was, Joe, it's already the second greatest selling book of all time, and it's only been out since 1997.

02:27:59.000 Think about that.

02:28:00.000 That is pretty crazy.

02:28:01.000 I'll tell you what, my kids were addicted to it.

02:28:04.000 When I read it, I read it like a month ago.

02:28:07.000 I just found out about both these things.

02:28:08.000 Really? I saw the movie.

02:28:11.000 I knocked it all out.

02:28:12.000 Wow. I knocked the whole thing out.

02:28:13.000 How is it?

02:28:15.000 It's the greatest thing ever.

02:28:16.000 Is it better than the movie?

02:28:17.000 It's not even close.

02:28:18.000 And I love the movies.

02:28:19.000 Movies are great.

02:28:20.000 But it's so fucking good and so in-depth and so...

02:28:24.000 I mean, it's the classic hero story, you know, a hero's tale, but man, it's so fucking good.

02:28:29.000 And rereading it and just how deep the characters are and how incredible it is is beautiful.

02:28:36.000 But Hamilton is number two, greatest art.

02:28:38.000 And I mean, when I say art, I mean anything ever written, painted, musically sung.

02:28:42.000 Really? One, two.

02:28:44.000 Wow. And then the Bible?

02:28:48.000 Maybe The Departed.

02:28:49.000 Departed might be three.

02:28:50.000 Have you ever seen The Departed, man?

02:28:51.000 When that elevator opens up and Leo gets his hand blown off, I think, oh, I feel it still.

02:28:55.000 Departed might be three.

02:28:56.000 You just killed all your credibility.

02:29:00.000 You took Departed over Apocalypse Now.

02:29:02.000 Oh, Apocalypse Now.

02:29:04.000 That was a great thought.

02:29:04.000 What day you take Departed over Apocalypse Now?

02:29:06.000 I love Apocalypse Now.

02:29:08.000 But Hamilton Joe.

02:29:10.000 That good.

02:29:10.000 Brother, it's so...

02:29:12.000 If you like history, because I'm not a history guy.

02:29:15.000 Hasan, me and Hasan talk about it, because he loves history.

02:29:16.000 And I know what I know, but I'm not looking for it.

02:29:20.000 I watched this shit, man.

02:29:21.000 It was so cool.

02:29:23.000 Everything is educational.

02:29:24.000 The whole thing.

02:29:25.000 And you think it's gay, because it's like, oh, it's a musical.

02:29:27.000 You think it's gay? 0.98

02:29:27.000 Everyone's black. 0.98

02:29:28.000 Like, why is Thomas Jefferson black?

02:29:30.000 You know what I mean?

02:29:30.000 Everyone in the play is black, and they're all playing these guys, Thomas Jefferson and Washington.

02:29:34.000 But everything is singing.

02:29:35.000 The whole thing is singing.

02:29:37.000 So the writing is incredible, and it's literally the story of Alexander Hamilton, and I had no idea how important this man was.

02:29:44.000 Wow. He was an orphan.

02:29:46.000 And then, you know, it ends, of course, with the duel between him and Burr, which is insane.

02:29:50.000 You know, Burr was vice president when he killed the treasurer.

02:29:54.000 Really? Hamilton was treasurer, and he killed him in a duel while he was vice...

02:30:01.000 President. That's crazy.

02:30:03.000 Because they had 15 years of beef and you get to see why they've been beefing.

02:30:06.000 It's just two ideologies of this man grew up orphaned.

02:30:09.000 Mom died.

02:30:10.000 Dad left him.

02:30:11.000 He's from the Caribbean, Alexander Hamilton.

02:30:13.000 He's just an absolute genius who had to come out of the absolute mud.

02:30:17.000 Aaron Burr is a trust fund kid who is a politician through and through.

02:30:21.000 He was raised to be a politician who never, you know, his cards are close to his chest and he never shows anybody what he's thinking.

02:30:26.000 True politician.

02:30:27.000 Hamilton's a wild guy.

02:30:29.000 Well, I mean, everything.

02:30:31.000 He didn't like how Hamilton always is talking.

02:30:33.000 Hamilton is a loud guy and he's just rambunctious and didn't follow the rules of politics.

02:30:40.000 He was a wild card.

02:30:41.000 He was also young.

02:30:43.000 And Burr was like, no, you do it this way, you do it this way, that's how you're supposed to do it.

02:30:46.000 So that happened for 15 years.

02:30:48.000 And then what made him kill him was Burr was going to be president.

02:30:53.000 He was going against Jefferson.

02:30:54.000 Jefferson and Hamilton had been beefing.

02:30:56.000 They hate each other.

02:30:57.000 But Hamilton didn't like Burr so much because he said at least Jefferson stands for something.

02:31:02.000 And the last vote to make Jefferson president over Burr was Hamilton.

02:31:07.000 And so that, and then of course he talked some more shit about him and then Aaron Burr was like, we're dueling.

02:31:12.000 Fuck you.

02:31:13.000 With musket guns.

02:31:14.000 Musket guns. 0.84

02:31:15.000 Those old school bullshit guns.

02:31:16.000 Because he shot.

02:31:18.000 Burr, I mean, Hamilton wasn't trying to kill him.

02:31:20.000 He shot over his head, because that was like a thing you do if you weren't trying to kill somebody, but you were like, I'm letting you know, but like, we're doing it, but I'm not trying to kill you.

02:31:25.000 But he didn't know, because he shot first.

02:31:28.000 Burr just thought he missed.

02:31:30.000 So he shot him right in the fucking stomach, right in the wrist.

02:31:32.000 Killed him.

02:31:34.000 And it was like a few miles away, maybe like right near the same spot where Hamilton's son died three years before.

02:31:40.000 That's like the law.

02:31:41.000 That law of knowing when it's too much.

02:31:44.000 Like, he could have just shot over him.

02:31:45.000 Good if the other guy shot over him.

02:31:47.000 But I thought you just missed.

02:31:49.000 How am I supposed to know?

02:31:49.000 I thought you were trying to kill me.

02:31:50.000 I thought you were trying to kill me.

02:31:51.000 Exactly. And no one saw it because, you know, so to have a duel, you had to have other people there.

02:31:55.000 You had to have a doctor.

02:31:56.000 You had to have two people.

02:31:57.000 You had to have representatives, all this stuff.

02:31:58.000 But everyone turns around.

02:31:59.000 So that way there's no one could go to prison for it.

02:32:02.000 So they tried Burr for it, but there's no eyewitness.

02:32:05.000 Wow. And it ruined the rest of Burr's life.

02:32:07.000 The rest of Burr's life because everyone loved Hamilton.

02:32:09.000 Because Hamilton was George Washington's right-hand man.

02:32:11.000 He fucking is one of the main reasons we won the Revolutionary War. 0.76

02:32:14.000 He was the...

02:32:15.000 I remember when David Letterman got caught for cheating and was like, well, I'm going to go out and...

02:32:19.000 I'm not going to get blackmailed.

02:32:20.000 I'm going to go out and say, hey, I cheated on my wife. 0.99

02:32:22.000 Get the fuck out of here.

02:32:23.000 Like, I'll take the heat.

02:32:24.000 Hamilton was the first guy to do that.

02:32:26.000 Really? The Reynolds pamphlet where a woman did the same thing.

02:32:29.000 He fucks this lady and her husband comes up to him later and is like, hey, you owe money.

02:32:34.000 The husband's like, hey, you fucked my wife. 0.97

02:32:36.000 I know you fucked my wife. 1.00

02:32:37.000 I know who you are.

02:32:38.000 You can keep fucking her. 1.00

02:32:39.000 I think she's a whore, too. 1.00

02:32:40.000 He said it, but I want money.

02:32:42.000 Really? How much money?

02:32:44.000 I don't know.

02:32:45.000 I think it was like $30.

02:32:46.000 But I don't know what that was at $1,700.

02:32:48.000 If I could go back and talk to Hamilton, give him the money, man.

02:32:52.000 Dude's cool.

02:32:53.000 No, but he wanted continuous money.

02:32:54.000 How much?

02:32:55.000 I don't know the number exactly, but I think it was...

02:32:57.000 How good is this lady? 1.00

02:32:58.000 How fun is she? 0.96

02:33:00.000 Apparently she was pretty good.

02:33:01.000 If you can keep this relationship going, it's beneficial to everybody involved.

02:33:06.000 Everyone, dude.

02:33:06.000 You just need a little money?

02:33:07.000 Oh, okay.

02:33:08.000 You're not even mad?

02:33:09.000 Yeah. And you got the money!

02:33:10.000 You Hamilton!

02:33:11.000 What the fuck is he doing?

02:33:12.000 Spend that money.

02:33:13.000 Spend them fun coupons.

02:33:14.000 But I think he also still...

02:33:15.000 He didn't like that the other politicians were using it over.

02:33:18.000 Like, hey, we found out that you were doing this, that.

02:33:21.000 But weren't they all monsters back then?

02:33:23.000 They're all monsters.

02:33:23.000 They're all slaves.

02:33:26.000 That's what's the craziest thing.

02:33:27.000 The moral high ground of the beginning of this country.

02:33:30.000 We're getting away from these evil...

02:33:32.000 We got slaves! 0.86

02:33:35.000 What are you saying?

02:33:36.000 Everybody's a monster.

02:33:38.000 Yeah, washes the most love, had the most.

02:33:39.000 It's like everywhere you go, there's hypocrisy.

02:33:42.000 You know?

02:33:42.000 Like, did you ever see that thing when Don Lemon was talking to this lady about reparations for slavery?

02:33:47.000 Did you ever see that thing?

02:33:48.000 No. Oh my god.

02:33:49.000 Please find this.

02:33:50.000 Don Lemon is talking to this British lady about reparations for slavery, and she lays out the beginnings of slavery to Don Lemon, and you see Don Lemon's dumb ass like,"Oh, very interesting." Watch this.

02:34:02.000 He didn't know.

02:34:04.000 It's just, he was saying something.

02:34:07.000 That, you know, there should be reparations for slavery.

02:34:10.000 I think it's a political talking point at this point, Tom.

02:34:12.000 I think there's people that still think that people today should get money because their ancestors were slaves.

02:34:18.000 I totally understand that argument.

02:34:20.000 However, what this lady's saying... 1.00

02:34:22.000 Did you find it?

02:34:24.000 It just has like a five-second thing and then it talks about the whole...

02:34:27.000 Oh, but there's a video.

02:34:28.000 I watched it yesterday.

02:34:29.000 I'm just saying I didn't have it on the thing I'm looking for.

02:34:32.000 Okay. I bet on YouTube it's available.

02:34:36.000 Don Lemon, for a smart guy, seems like an idiot sometimes.

02:34:39.000 For a guy who looks smart.

02:34:41.000 There's other people reporting on it.

02:34:43.000 Okay, let's hear it though.

02:34:46.000 And then you have those who are asking for reparations for colonialism, and they're wondering, you know, $100 billion, $24 billion here and there, $500 million there.

02:34:58.000 Some people want to be paid back, and members of the public are wondering, why are we suffering when you are...

02:35:03.000 You know, you have all of this vast wealth.

02:35:05.000 Those are legitimate concerns.

02:35:07.000 Well, I think you're right about reparations in terms of if people want it, though, what they need to do is you always need to go back to the beginning of a supply chain.

02:35:15.000 Where was the beginning of the supply chain?

02:35:17.000 That was in Africa.

02:35:18.000 And when across the entire world, when slavery was taking place, which was the first nation in the world that abolished slavery?

02:35:26.000 The first nation in the world to abolish it.

02:35:28.000 It was started by William Wilberforce, was the British.

02:35:31.000 In Great Britain, they abolished slavery.

02:35:33.000 2,000 naval men died on the high seas trying to stop slavery.

02:35:39.000 Why? Because the African kings were rounding up their own people. 1.00

02:35:42.000 They had them on cages, waiting in the beaches.

02:35:45.000 No one was running into Africa to get them.

02:35:47.000 And I think you're totally right.

02:35:48.000 If reparations need to be paid, we need to go right back to the beginning of that supply chain and say, who was rounding up their own people and having them handcuffed in cages?

02:35:57.000 Absolutely, that's where they should start.

02:35:59.000 And maybe, I don't know, the descendants of those families where they died in the high seas, trying to stop the slavery, that those families should receive something too, I think, at the same time.

02:36:09.000 Look at that dumbass. 0.97

02:36:10.000 It's an interesting discussion.

02:36:13.000 He knew he was in deep water.

02:36:15.000 She knew what the fuck she was talking about.

02:36:17.000 And he knew he had no history in his mind.

02:36:20.000 He's like scouring his mind for an argument.

02:36:22.000 Like, yeah, I'm gonna check out on this one right here.

02:36:25.000 He wasn't ready for that.

02:36:26.000 The producer's in his ear.

02:36:27.000 Wrap it up, Don.

02:36:28.000 Wrap it up.

02:36:28.000 We're going to commercial.

02:36:29.000 We're going to Pfizer.

02:36:30.000 Oh, yeah.

02:36:30.000 When the woman brought up the ships and everything, you're like, ooh, she knows what the fuck.

02:36:32.000 We got a Rosemba commercial on deck.

02:36:33.000 Wrap it up.

02:36:34.000 Wrap it up.

02:36:35.000 Oh, that big, oh, oh.

02:36:41.000 Yeah, that's the dirty thing about it.

02:36:43.000 It's like people were monsters.

02:36:45.000 Yeah, dude.

02:36:46.000 Irish were slaves forever. 1.00

02:36:48.000 People were indentured servants. 0.87

02:36:50.000 They're brought over here.

02:36:51.000 People have been monsters forever.

02:36:53.000 And instead of doing that now, now they're picking fruit.

02:36:58.000 Picking lettuce.

02:36:59.000 Yep. You know, with no health care.

02:37:01.000 For $2.

02:37:02.000 Yeah, and we're shipping jobs over to there.

02:37:04.000 So they work in these factories.

02:37:06.000 They're working 16 hours a day for $1 an hour.

02:37:08.000 Or $1 a day sometimes.

02:37:10.000 Joe, when I was in Abu Dhabi, one of the drivers who was taking us somewhere, he said he was happy.

02:37:16.000 He was happy because his family lives back in Lebanon or wherever they lived.

02:37:19.000 But he was happy because he just got a raise to like $2 an hour.

02:37:23.000 Whoa. But, I mean, Joe, you'd have thought he was a millionaire now.

02:37:28.000 Yeah. He was like, oh my god, like, it's like a 50 cent raise.

02:37:31.000 But he was like, the things I'll be able to do for my family back in Lebanon and all this stuff.

02:37:34.000 And it was like, holy shit.

02:37:37.000 Holy shit.

02:37:38.000 Yeah. And then you're there and everything there is beautiful and pristine and everything seems like the richest things in the world.

02:37:43.000 And they were really nice to us and it was awesome.

02:37:46.000 Because we were getting to do the rich things.

02:37:47.000 Yeah. But when you were talking to that guy, I vividly remember that conversation because of how truly happy he was.

02:37:52.000 He wasn't.

02:37:53.000 In his head, he was like, this is great.

02:37:55.000 Right. $2 an hour.

02:37:56.000 His expectations were very low.

02:37:58.000 Yeah. That's the reality when people like Bernie Sanders talk about oligarchs.

02:38:03.000 If you're going to have haves, like extreme haves, just by the nature of the world, you're going to have have-nots.

02:38:10.000 And the disparity between haves and have-nots is...

02:38:14.000 Off the charts.

02:38:14.000 And it's probably only going to get bigger.

02:38:17.000 That's what's really kind of scary.

02:38:19.000 With AI and the ability to generate wealth and what you're going to be able to figure out and do and the different ways that people are going to be able to manipulate markets and dominate certain industries with AI, I think the have and have nots.

02:38:35.000 And then you're going to have also automation, which takes over everything.

02:38:39.000 Everything. So all these jobs.

02:38:40.000 Gone. Bro, I was just driving.

02:38:43.000 Have you ever, like, we're not going to be driving much longer, dude.

02:38:46.000 I don't think my kid, I don't think my kid's going to know driving.

02:38:50.000 I think they'll know, like, no, you just, everyone has an automated car.

02:38:53.000 Yeah, check this out.

02:38:54.000 I'm going to share this with you, Jamie.

02:38:56.000 I did this yesterday in my car.

02:38:59.000 My car just drives itself, dog.

02:39:02.000 Just drives itself.

02:39:04.000 If you have a Tesla, if I put in my address, I go, I press these buttons, and it just takes off.

02:39:10.000 It stops at red lights.

02:39:12.000 It changes lanes.

02:39:14.000 It, like, slows down when the traffic slows down, speeds up when the traffic speeds up.

02:39:18.000 You could completely check out if you wanted to.

02:39:20.000 Totally check out.

02:39:21.000 You could totally check.

02:39:22.000 I don't do it.

02:39:23.000 I keep my hand near it.

02:39:24.000 I'm still freaked out.

02:39:25.000 Because you've been driving your whole life.

02:39:27.000 Yeah, it's also just feels weird.

02:39:28.000 But it does it.

02:39:31.000 You got the video name?

02:39:32.000 And it does it well, too?

02:39:33.000 I'm just trying to make sure I'm not showing it.

02:39:34.000 I've got other stuff on the screen, and it doesn't cover that up.

02:39:37.000 Oh, does it show things on the screen?

02:39:39.000 On my screen.

02:39:40.000 Oh, how dare you?

02:39:42.000 Did I fuck up?

02:39:43.000 No, no, no.

02:39:44.000 I just...

02:39:44.000 What does it show, like, my address?

02:39:46.000 No, it shows stuff that I don't want shown on the screen.

02:39:48.000 Oh, oh, I see.

02:39:49.000 Okay, here it is.

02:39:50.000 Check this out.

02:39:51.000 This is me in the car yesterday.

02:39:55.000 I don't like to do it all the time, but every now and again, it's pretty wild.

02:40:00.000 It changes lanes, it hits the blinkers.

02:40:02.000 See, look at C's, all those cars, that screen, it's representative of all the cars.

02:40:08.000 It knows where all the cars are.

02:40:10.000 Look, it's changing lanes.

02:40:11.000 It hits the blinker and changes lanes to get around these trucks.

02:40:14.000 It's the future.

02:40:17.000 Wild. It's over.

02:40:19.000 How wild is that?

02:40:19.000 It shows you on the screen, on the front where your dashboard is, it shows you all the cars around you.

02:40:25.000 All of them.

02:40:26.000 It keeps track of them.

02:40:28.000 It knows how fast they're going.

02:40:29.000 See that guy past me on the left?

02:40:31.000 It shows that.

02:40:32.000 It's wild.

02:40:32.000 He's flying by you, so it's like, no, it knew the speed and rate that he was going.

02:40:37.000 And it knew that there was an open lane, so it hit the blinkers, and it changed lanes.

02:40:42.000 And it knows there's people behind me, it knows there's people to the right of me.

02:40:46.000 It stops at red lights, dude, and then speeds up again, stops at stop signs, it sees the cars to the left and cars to the right, knows when to go, and you can just kind of check out.

02:40:57.000 You just, like, hold your hand like this, think about your life.

02:41:02.000 Have the robot drive you around.

02:41:04.000 That is just gonna be everywhere.

02:41:07.000 Everyone's gonna be driving in these robot taxis.

02:41:09.000 You're not gonna own a car.

02:41:11.000 Like this is what the World Economic Forum wants.

02:41:13.000 You will own nothing and you'll be happy.

02:41:15.000 You'll be like that man who has two dollars an hour and so happy.

02:41:19.000 All your food will be free.

02:41:21.000 You don't need a job.

02:41:23.000 That's where the have-and-have-nots get sketchy. 0.97

02:41:25.000 Because when automation takes over everything, don't worry, we'll give you universal basic income.

02:41:30.000 And so they give universal basic income to everybody, so everybody's reliant 100% on the government now.

02:41:36.000 And then there's people that own...

02:41:38.000 All the electric taxi companies and own all the computer factories and own all the AI companies.

02:41:45.000 The semi-trucks that'll be automated.

02:41:47.000 Those are the oligarchs.

02:41:49.000 Those are the haves.

02:41:50.000 And the haves never want to give that up.

02:41:52.000 They always want more and more and more.

02:41:56.000 They always want to keep winning that game.

02:41:58.000 They want to be the first trillionaire.

02:42:00.000 They want to keep stacking.

02:42:02.000 Game of Thrones, dude.

02:42:04.000 Because then it goes to your family and your family.

02:42:05.000 And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, maybe our family could be president one day.

02:42:08.000 Our family now came.

02:42:09.000 I drink your milkshake.

02:42:12.000 That's it, man.

02:42:13.000 What a callback.

02:42:14.000 That's exactly what it is.

02:42:16.000 That's it, man.

02:42:16.000 It's a natural human dominator instinct.

02:42:19.000 It's a tribal dominator instinct. 0.80

02:42:21.000 And it's just applied to fiat currency and Bitcoin and financial power and influence.

02:42:29.000 And they want to control social media.

02:42:31.000 We're going to give everybody a vaccine.

02:42:34.000 Nuts! You know those Waymos? 1.00

02:42:35.000 This is how I know it's going to be half and half nuts.

02:42:37.000 You know those Waymos cars?

02:42:38.000 Those self-driving cars?

02:42:39.000 If you order one, it's still the same price as an Uber, pretty much.

02:42:43.000 So it's like, where is this money going?

02:42:45.000 I thought the money was going to the driver.

02:42:47.000 I thought, okay, I'm giving half the money to the company, probably half the money, or whatever, however they split it.

02:42:50.000 So now you're telling me there's no driver, but the price is the same.

02:42:53.000 So you're not going to lower the price.

02:42:56.000 Where is this extra money going?

02:42:57.000 In their pockets.

02:42:59.000 More profitable.

02:43:00.000 Because they're going to do that with semi-trucks.

02:43:02.000 They're going to do it with everything.

02:43:03.000 And then they're going to try to pass legislation to stop driving.

02:43:05.000 You shouldn't be able to drive because their money is in driving you around.

02:43:10.000 Why should you be able to drive?

02:43:11.000 You're dangerous.

02:43:12.000 You cause accidents.

02:43:13.000 Statistically, humans cause all these accidents.

02:43:17.000 You drink?

02:43:18.000 Humans do this? 0.55

02:43:19.000 Bro, that's how they can get you.

02:43:20.000 That's why they're saying, you know, we don't need beef.

02:43:22.000 Cows are destroying the environment.

02:43:24.000 Cows are responsible for climate change. 0.90

02:43:26.000 And what a convenient thing I have here in my plant-based meals.

02:43:29.000 My plant-based burgers.

02:43:31.000 You need unstoppable meat.

02:43:33.000 Whatever the fuck they have.

02:43:35.000 But it'll be just like Animal Farm because they'll still be eating...

02:43:37.000 They'll be eating...

02:43:38.000 The top people are going to eat cheese and the nice fun things.

02:43:41.000 Bro, they're going to be eating Dodo Bird burgers.

02:43:47.000 They're eating Siberian tiger loin.

02:43:51.000 They're having a good time carving up some rhino steaks.

02:43:54.000 They're a bunch of monsters.

02:43:57.000 You know the whole market for rhino horns?

02:44:01.000 You know what that market is for?

02:44:02.000 What? It's rich people that want to get off on the fact that they're drinking tea from an endangered species.

02:44:11.000 Rhino horns, that's what they're valuable for. 0.99

02:44:13.000 That's why people are killing people.

02:44:17.000 People, so that they can kill the rhinos, they can cut their horns off so they could sell them to Asia, where very wealthy people get off on the fact that they're drinking rhino horn tea.

02:44:28.000 And they think it makes your dick hard.

02:44:30.000 Yeah, they do think it makes your dick hard.

02:44:31.000 Which is hilarious.

02:44:32.000 Yeah. You know about Viagra, bitch? 1.00

02:44:34.000 Have you heard of Blue Chew?

02:44:36.000 What are you talking about?

02:44:36.000 It's so stupid.

02:44:38.000 There's way better ways.

02:44:40.000 You don't have to kill a rhino, but that's not the point.

02:44:41.000 The point is they want to kill the rhino so that they get this forbidden thing.

02:44:46.000 We're responsible for extinction here as we sip this tea.

02:44:51.000 That's how dark people get. 1.00

02:44:52.000 That's like the type of people that want exclusive things.

02:44:55.000 That's Squid Game. 0.99

02:44:57.000 That's that.

02:44:57.000 I want to watch people kill each other.

02:44:59.000 Darkness, man.

02:44:59.000 That's darkness.

02:45:00.000 That's real human beings will do that.

02:45:02.000 They will drink rhino horn tea.

02:45:04.000 That's the only market for rhino horns.

02:45:06.000 They're not valuable.

02:45:07.000 It's not like tusks.

02:45:09.000 Elephant tusks are made out of ivory, and ivory is very valuable.

02:45:13.000 And they use it for all kinds of different things.

02:45:14.000 They always used to use it for ornaments.

02:45:16.000 They used to make pool balls out of ivory.

02:45:19.000 And then they stopped allowing people to sell ivory, and then you could only buy pre-ban ivory in America.

02:45:28.000 But that makes sense, because you're killing an animal for this one thing that's a commodity, and it's fucked up.

02:45:35.000 But the rhino horn don't even make sense.

02:45:37.000 Like, you're killing an animal just so you can drink the tea?

02:45:41.000 That's crazy, and they're almost extinct.

02:45:43.000 Also, to kill such a, like, a creature.

02:45:46.000 Wow, this is a fucking animal, dude.

02:45:48.000 A crazy-looking creature, man.

02:45:49.000 Like, it doesn't look like it belongs in this time.

02:45:51.000 It looks like it's one of the dinosaur days.

02:45:53.000 I read this thing yesterday about, you ever heard the bear that's called the boss?

02:45:57.000 Oh yeah, that one bear that's...

02:45:58.000 He's got like thousands of kids.

02:46:01.000 He got hit by a train.

02:46:03.000 Twice! That means he got hit by a train and it was like running back.

02:46:06.000 Running back, you bitch-ass train. 1.00

02:46:08.000 I'm gonna knock this motherfucker off the tracks this time.

02:46:10.000 He got hit by a train twice, has all the cubs, and apparently eats other bears sometimes just to remind people because he's so old that the young bears try him.

02:46:17.000 So I read he eats them sometimes just to be like, I gotta let everybody know.

02:46:20.000 Bears eat bears.

02:46:21.000 That's real common.

02:46:23.000 Yeah, they eat cubs. 0.95

02:46:24.000 It's real dark.

02:46:25.000 A friend of mine saw it.

02:46:27.000 He saw my friend Jonathan up in Alberta.

02:46:30.000 He saw a bear and the sow and the boar were fighting.

02:46:36.000 So males, the boar, females, the sow.

02:46:38.000 They were fighting because the bear, the male, was trying to kill the cubs.

02:46:42.000 And so the female's trying to fight him off. 1.00

02:46:44.000 And eventually she can't fight him off and he gets a hold of one of the cubs and kills it.

02:46:48.000 And then she scares him off of the cub that he killed.

02:46:52.000 And then she eats the cub. 0.93

02:46:54.000 She eats her own cup.

02:46:56.000 Once it's dead, she's like, I'll just eat it.

02:46:58.000 Why do you think it's food?

02:47:01.000 Once it's dead, it's just food.

02:47:04.000 Bro. You think $2 an hour is hard life?

02:47:12.000 Bears is shitting on ghettos. 0.97

02:47:14.000 Like, you think it's hard?

02:47:15.000 Bitch, I go outside every day thinking I'm going to get eaten. 1.00

02:47:18.000 Dealing with the boss bear.

02:47:20.000 Yeah. Well, that's what happens also when you have...

02:47:22.000 That's how nature balances out ecosystems, right?

02:47:24.000 Because if there's no natural predators for bears, they have to eat themselves.

02:47:31.000 Because nothing can eat a grizzly bear.

02:47:33.000 So they have to eat each other. 0.77

02:47:34.000 That's the only way they keep the population down.

02:47:35.000 To keep it.

02:47:36.000 So there's still some salmon and some other things left for everybody else.

02:47:39.000 So when cubs are born, there's two things that happen.

02:47:42.000 One... Well, there's three things.

02:47:44.000 One, the male thinks of them as food.

02:47:46.000 So he wants to kill them for food.

02:47:47.000 Like, they hunt them.

02:47:48.000 They go into the dens.

02:47:49.000 When the males come out of hibernation early, they go into dens to look for cubs to eat them.

02:47:53.000 They know they do that for food.

02:47:55.000 Two, they try to bring the female into estrus again.

02:47:58.000 So if they can kill the cubs, then the female will want to breed so she can have more cubs. 1.00

02:48:03.000 And so it'll get the female so that she'll want to breed again. 1.00

02:48:07.000 And then three is competition.

02:48:09.000 They look at those cubs as potential future competition.

02:48:12.000 So it's all these horrible ways.

02:48:15.000 It's this beautiful nature.

02:48:17.000 Nature's amazing.

02:48:19.000 Nature is a fucking bloodbath.

02:48:21.000 It's a bloodbath.

02:48:24.000 Even the grass is screaming.

02:48:26.000 They found out that grass screams now.

02:48:29.000 Plants make noise when you're eating them.

02:48:32.000 They just can't move.

02:48:34.000 That's too much.

02:48:38.000 The fact that we...

02:48:39.000 Are the apex because you were saying some yesterday we were talking we were saying how like it's crazy to think that aliens wouldn't think we're interesting Yeah, that's that dumb argument that I had with Neil deGrasse Tyson like what are you saying?

02:48:49.000 Because when you think about like me we are the top dog on this planet That's interesting in itself different than everything else here if you're gonna study anything anywhere in the fucking universe Of course you would study human beings if you're gonna study Anything.

02:49:02.000 You would go, what is this wild, crazy, territorial primate with nuclear weapons and cell phone addictions?

02:49:09.000 What is this motherfucker?

02:49:11.000 And they're soft.

02:49:11.000 We can easily be killed.

02:49:13.000 Easily. And we're still top dog.

02:49:14.000 And they might have made us.

02:49:17.000 They might have engineered us, son.

02:49:19.000 That's a real, on the table, less than 0% or more than 0% possibility.

02:49:26.000 We might have been genetically engineered.

02:49:28.000 It's a real possibility.

02:49:30.000 It's a real possibility when you look at other primates and us, like, what happened here?

02:49:35.000 What happened here?

02:49:37.000 How are our cousins still roaming around barefoot, covered in hair?

02:49:42.000 Yeah. You know?

02:49:43.000 Swinging from trees, eating bananas.

02:49:45.000 And we are, somehow or another, flying rockets with an all-chick crew. 1.00

02:49:51.000 And then landing with parachutes.

02:49:54.000 Like, what?

02:49:55.000 Why are we so different?

02:49:57.000 And why we keep seeing UFOs?

02:49:58.000 Like, what the fuck is going on here?

02:50:00.000 And we control it.

02:50:01.000 We control the tigers, the things that could kill us.

02:50:03.000 We're like, no, we're in charge.

02:50:04.000 Yeah, we're in charge.

02:50:05.000 Those bitch-ass water balloons. 1.00

02:50:07.000 We're basically blood balloons, sticks holding it all together.

02:50:10.000 Compared to things that are fucking built like trucks.

02:50:13.000 Yeah, like a rhino.

02:50:15.000 Like, how the fuck is a rhino in danger for its stupid horn when our bitch asses are killing a rhino? 1.00

02:50:20.000 Yeah, dude!

02:50:21.000 That doesn't make any sense.

02:50:23.000 We're not even eating them.

02:50:24.000 Just killing them and sawing off their fucking horns. 1.00

02:50:27.000 That would be, yeah.

02:50:28.000 If you're an alien, you're like, they do what?

02:50:30.000 Do you see what they're doing now to rhinos to prevent this?

02:50:32.000 They dart them and saw their horns off first so that no one wants to kill them.

02:50:36.000 How fucked up is that?

02:50:39.000 How fucked up?

02:50:40.000 Have you seen that?

02:50:41.000 No, but the rhino must...

02:50:42.000 Need the horn for protection.

02:50:45.000 It must need it in some way.

02:50:46.000 If they want to fight.

02:50:47.000 Yeah, they want to fight other rhinos and fight off lions and shit like that. 1.00

02:50:50.000 Yeah, they need that horn.

02:50:52.000 I mean, there's a reason why they have it.

02:50:54.000 Yeah. Yeah, they evolved to have this giant fucking weapon in the middle of their face. 0.86

02:50:57.000 So to cut it off.

02:50:58.000 I mean, fucking badass.

02:50:59.000 What a fucked up way to go.

02:51:02.000 You ever see them launch lions into the air?

02:51:04.000 Yeah, fucking launch those motherfuckers in the air. 1.00

02:51:06.000 Like, fuck you, bro.

02:51:08.000 Try getting through this.

02:51:10.000 But yeah, to cut that off, what does that do to the rhino?

02:51:14.000 Can it live out in the...

02:51:15.000 Yeah, it lives fine.

02:51:16.000 Okay. It lives fine, but it just doesn't have a weapon anymore.

02:51:18.000 But it also is not attractive to the main monster, which is humans.

02:51:22.000 And humans that just wanted to drink a tea to get your dick hard. 0.69

02:51:25.000 Just get rocked up.

02:51:27.000 Whoa. Bricked.

02:51:28.000 It don't even work, I don't think.

02:51:29.000 Does it work?

02:51:30.000 I don't know.

02:51:30.000 There's rhino horn.

02:51:31.000 It might be one of them ancient Chinese secrets.

02:51:33.000 It's legit.

02:51:34.000 Does Rhino Horn get your dick hard?

02:51:35.000 No evidence.

02:51:36.000 How dare you?

02:51:37.000 I have a friend.

02:51:38.000 You know that Ron Taylor comedian?

02:51:40.000 Afro? He's in the Grand Mothership. 1.00

02:51:41.000 He told me he took it one time.

02:51:42.000 He's like, man, I couldn't see anything, but my dick was fucking touching the ceiling.

02:51:46.000 Really? He took Rhino Horn?

02:51:47.000 He took, but like the gas station.

02:51:49.000 I don't know if that's real.

02:51:49.000 Oh, that's not the same thing.

02:51:51.000 Is that not the same thing?

02:51:52.000 That's those Red Band pills.

02:51:54.000 No. But he said he couldn't see, but man, his dick was hard.

02:51:56.000 He said he could feel it.

02:51:57.000 Oh, yeah.

02:51:58.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:51:59.000 That's like Rhino 2000, those gas station boner pills.

02:52:03.000 Yeah. Those are legit.

02:52:04.000 Sometimes. But, I mean, you want to talk about taking a chance on your life.

02:52:08.000 Like, who knows what's in there?

02:52:10.000 Who knows what's in there?

02:52:12.000 That was another thing I was reading about, like, Chinese illegal vapes.

02:52:16.000 Like, bootleg vapes that have entered into this country.

02:52:19.000 Like, pretending to be, like, legitimate companies that are selling vapes, and they're just using fucking gutter oil, and who knows what the fuck's inside of those things.

02:52:27.000 People are getting sick from them.

02:52:30.000 Yeah. No one gives a fuck about you, man.

02:52:33.000 Not in most of the world.

02:52:35.000 Most of the world is trying to get them dollars.

02:52:37.000 Get them dollars.

02:52:39.000 Fuck the world.

02:52:41.000 Oh, fuck that, man.

02:52:43.000 All right, Derek, tell everybody about your special.

02:52:44.000 We talked this whole time.

02:52:46.000 Didn't tell anybody about your special.

02:52:47.000 We didn't, but my brother, first thing I ever put out, man, I'm really excited.

02:52:51.000 First thing I ever put out, dog.

02:52:52.000 I'm excited for people to see.

02:52:53.000 And the Don't Tell, I really appreciate them, and I feel like they're the new premium blend or Comedy Central Presents.

02:53:00.000 Like, back in the day, you know, that.

02:53:02.000 Because I feel like Kill Tony is a mix between late night and America's Got Talent.

02:53:08.000 It's like a different thing.

02:53:09.000 Whereas this is for guys who are more my age who are like, alright, big companies really don't want them.

02:53:14.000 And you can put it on YouTube yourself, but do you have the money to make something that looks nice?

02:53:16.000 We'll make it for you and get you your first, so you can have your first thing out.

02:53:20.000 And where can people watch it?

02:53:22.000 YouTube. Don't tell comedy.

02:53:24.000 There it is.

02:53:25.000 Beautiful. Oh my god, yeah.

02:53:27.000 I'm very happy for you, brother.

02:53:28.000 I'm very happy.

02:53:29.000 I've been watching you grow since you came to Austin.

02:53:31.000 It's been beautiful.

02:53:32.000 It's been amazing.

02:53:33.000 And knowing you from the Comedy Store, you were one of the first guys to take the chance coming out here.

02:53:37.000 We all just said, fuck it.

02:53:38.000 Yeah, dawg.

02:53:38.000 Wound up together and we were right.

02:53:42.000 We were right.

02:53:43.000 We were fucking so right.

02:53:44.000 We were so right.

02:53:44.000 We're having so much fun.

02:53:46.000 I mean, even Joey's going to be here tonight.

02:53:47.000 It's old school days.

02:53:48.000 It's old school days.

02:53:49.000 Yeah, Joey's here tonight.

02:53:50.000 Very, very excited.

02:53:52.000 And, you know, Joey's performing here.

02:53:53.000 Moon Tower's in town.

02:53:55.000 Todd Glass was there last night.

02:53:56.000 That was great.

02:53:57.000 It's been Joe DeRosa moved here now, too.

02:54:00.000 He's the fucking best.

02:54:00.000 I love him, man.

02:54:01.000 We are having so much fun, man.

02:54:03.000 We're having so much fun.

02:54:04.000 It's the best, dude.

02:54:04.000 I appreciate you, brother.

02:54:05.000 I appreciate you, Joe.

02:54:06.000 Thank you so much for this, man.

02:54:07.000 Thank you.

02:54:07.000 My pleasure.

02:54:08.000 Everybody, go check it out.

02:54:10.000 It's on YouTube right now.

02:54:11.000 Derek Poston on Instagram.

02:54:14.000 Yes, sir.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 17, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2306 - Deric Poston

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript