Joey Diaz is back from the road and ready for a new life in New York City. We talk about his new job, his new apartment, and how he's going to open a sandwich shop in NYC.
00:03:32.000I mean, we've been coming here since 95. I know I have, right?
00:03:35.000Yeah, I think 99 was my first time here.
00:03:37.000I would do Houston and drive down here and do the lobby in the fucking Cap City when they had to stand up in the lobby.
00:03:45.000I still remember that, driving from fucking Houston down here, not having any money, having to drive back because we couldn't get a hotel room, drive back to Houston at the end of the night.
00:04:53.000The only reason why they don't move is because it's too difficult to move.
00:04:59.000If it was like every business could instantly pull up roots and replace everything and have everything running in a week at the other place, they'd all be gone.
00:05:11.000It's too expensive to leave versus what you would save and the regulations that you wouldn't have to go through and all the bullshit with all the permits.
00:05:19.000What California does is over-regulate.
00:05:23.000Everything. They get as much government involved as possible.
00:05:27.000They suck as much tax money out of you as possible.
00:05:30.000And then they still leave the place a mess.
00:05:33.000They still have homeless people everywhere.
00:06:36.000But it's because everybody went nuts and everyone demanded a whole series of things that you have to agree to in order to be a good person.
00:07:33.000I don't think it's entirely their fault.
00:07:35.000It is their fault, but the culture rewards that kind of behavior.
00:07:38.000This is the problem with having protected classes of people, whether it's gay, lesbian, whatever it is, whether it's your nationality.
00:07:48.000If you have a protected class of people where you're not allowed to criticize the protected class of people, then they become, you know, Vivek Ramaswamy talked about this in a very interesting way.
00:08:00.000He was like, It's the tyranny of the underprivileged.
00:09:14.000Like, if you're a guy and you're fucking scrawny and you never work out and all you do is smoke cigarettes, maybe you shouldn't be a firefighter.
00:14:03.000Well, you've got to think what Rob Halford did.
00:14:06.000When he was at the head of Judas Priest, he got all these straight guys to dress like they're in a gay biker gang because they wanted to be cool like Judas Priest.
00:14:14.000He changed the style of a kind of music.
00:16:46.000Guess what just got added to the Spotify playlist?
00:16:49.000You ditch me up good and you got me down So I string you up to keep you hanging around You dish the hot stuff up but you keep me waiting So I play it dirty till your body is breaking
00:17:05.000We've got to make love, the time is right We've got to make love tonight Cause we're burning up You make
00:17:22.000me greedy, you won't feed me my food But I make it easy cause I see straight through you You cool me up and hot me up
00:18:56.000For decades, kibble was the only option.
00:18:59.000But as humans have been eating healthier, companies like the Farmer's Dog started feeding dogs healthier too.
00:19:05.000Because when your dog eats freshly made, human-grade food, owners notice a bunch of positive changes, including weight loss and higher energy levels.
00:21:06.000I'm going to tell the both of you that unless you suck my dick or I fuck you in the ass, you don't have the right to call me Martin the Fag.
00:21:14.000So say it again, I'm going to shoot both of you.
00:21:15.000And my mom is yelling at him, Martin, Martin, Coco's behind you.
00:21:19.000If they start shooting at each other, I'm right here.
00:24:33.000There's a certain percentage of society that are just born gay, and there's plenty of them to hang out with each other, and they should be your friends.
00:29:22.000The guy who invented the method of determining whether or not AI has become sentient gets murdered by dumb apes who don't like that he's gay.
00:30:34.000Turing and Murray was brought to trial on the 31st of March, 1952.
00:30:39.000Turing was convicted and given a choice between imprisonment and probation.
00:30:42.000His probation would be conditional on his agreement to undergo hormonal physical changes designed to reduce libido, known as chemical castration.
00:30:51.000He accepted the option of injections of what was then called Stilbostrol, now known as Dithyl Stilbostrol, or DES, a synthetic ostrogin.
00:31:05.000Murray was given a conditional discharge.
00:31:24.000So Murray must have been the guy he was having sex with.
00:31:35.000Post-mortem was held that evening and determined that he had died from the previous day at age 41 with cyanide poisoning, cited as the cause of death.
00:31:44.000He had an apple lay half-eaten beside his bed.
00:31:48.000Although apples not tested for cyanide, it was speculated that this was the means in which Turing had consumed a fatal dose.
00:39:13.000You know there's parts of the world like there's ports in China now where it's a hundred percent controlled by robots There's a few people that run around do maintenance and stuff, but everything screens Everything is super efficient.
00:39:27.000They make an inventory of everything's in there.
00:39:30.000Everything gets logged into the computer they Put it into these trucks And before you know it, they're going to have electric trucks that drive themselves.
00:39:38.000That's why the strike happened in Jersey, all over with the Teamsters, with the Longshoremen.
00:43:15.000He was going to run again a second time, and he said he's not going to do it because his family was under threat that he considered serious.
00:43:23.000He was dangerous because he could ruin the election.
00:43:28.000Bush, they thought, was going to win a second term.
00:43:30.000But Ross Perot came along, and conservative people that didn't really want to believe in the Republican Party anymore, they're like, this party's just as full of shit as the left.
00:43:37.000They saw this Ross Perot guy and they went, oh, okay.
00:43:41.000He took a considerable amount of the vote and most of it would be against what Herbert Walker Bush would have got.
00:43:48.000And then Clinton came along and fucking wasn't even supposed to win that year.
00:44:27.000That guy fucking did something that a lot of people don't know.
00:44:32.000His employees got kidnapped in Iran, and he went in there and took them out, and he hired like a Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now to train his employees.
00:44:43.000Really? Yeah, he was a retired colonel, some badass Vietnam.
00:44:46.000So was his actual employees that went and got him out?
00:48:59.000But my God, the fucking torque that guy had in his punches.
00:49:03.000You got to think of the leverage because his shoulders are so wide.
00:49:06.000So when he twists his hips and he's got those long arms coming you with all those fucking back muscles and the core engaged, fucking balam!
00:49:15.000Hey, Balam, when was the last time there was a fight like this in Detroit?
00:52:41.000Now that was the right hand of Tommy Hearns, and it did catch Hagler, but he didn't take a backward step there.
00:52:48.000Hagler could take a shot, too, better than anybody.
00:52:51.000He only has one knockdown accredited to him his entire career, but it wasn't a knockdown.
00:52:56.000He fought Juan Roldan, and Juan Roldan kind of cuffed him in the back of the neck and pushed him forward, and Hagler fell forward and touched the ground, and the referee mistakenly called it a knockdown.
00:53:09.000Took bombs from the greatest punchers in the division, beat everybody except Sugar Ray, and I think the only reason why he lost to Sugar Ray was, I think the fix was in that fight, son.
00:58:08.000Dog, they got seven stars in that movie.
00:58:10.000Like you and Babbitt, Charlie Babbitt, Martini, fucking the guy from Jersey, what's his name that was in Taxi, a little guy, he's still around.
00:59:13.000Like, there's more fucked up guys right now than that guy that are tending bar on 6th Street right now.
00:59:20.000And this movie starts politically incorrect.
00:59:22.000Like, they couldn't make this today like this.
00:59:24.000No. And I'm surprised they haven't tried to remake this movie.
00:59:28.000Well, you know, the guy who made Home Alone said that he wanted to cut Trump out of the scene, but he's worried that he'd get sent in prison if he did it.
01:04:50.000A gun in California to tell these motherfuckers, shut the fuck up.
01:04:54.000You go on Facebook now and I see people I used to hang with in California and they're talking about other people and everybody's so talented and everything's so gracious and to work with such a great bunch of talented individuals.
01:05:06.000Thank God they've let my creative juices work.
01:07:39.000It became popular when it was on, you know, 7pm on ABC or whatever the fuck it was, NBC Affiliate, you know, when they were just showing the syndicated reruns.
01:09:40.000The problem when people who want to be taken seriously as actors talk a lot...
01:09:46.000About politics and talk a lot and give out opinions.
01:09:51.000They think that their opinions are very important and that it's important that they speak out.
01:09:55.000But the problem with that is like you ruin your acting for other people who now think of the stupid shit that you've said instead of thinking you as this character.
01:10:16.000You're going down a very dangerous road and we ain't been down dangerous roads before But that's the risk you take me I tell but you're not where I am I get the charities I pay my taxes
01:13:43.000There's a market out there of people where all they do is look for something to point out that's a disaster or a failure or here's my hot take and why this sucks and that's what they do.
01:19:12.000Well, I think in general the pay-per-view numbers are down as well because the casuals aren't buying it as much because you don't have...
01:19:18.000First of all, the UFC is not like boxing.
01:19:21.000Like a boxing pay-per-view is like, oh, Canelo's fighting in four months, and then you get gear up and you buy the Canelo Alvarez pay-per-view.
01:19:48.000And then they have a fight every week.
01:19:51.000So, it's like getting people to shell out 70 bucks for this card.
01:19:56.000And also, like, some of the great fights are on the undercard.
01:19:59.000And you already, before the pay-per-view starts, you already have, you know, three and a half hours of great fights you can watch for free.
01:20:07.000And some of them, they're trying to lure you into buying the pay-per-view.
01:20:10.000So some of the best fights are really on the undercard.
01:20:13.000Sometimes. Like, guys who you don't know their names yet.
01:20:16.000There's always one good fight that I want to watch on the undercard.
01:20:18.000I'm going to watch the undercard for two fights or something.
01:20:21.000Always. And then you guys start talking about the fights and then you get...
01:21:22.000beat him from pillar to post the entire fight and was smiling and laughing and looked like he was never threatened and never in danger just like he was on another level like way above Bryce like looked like a world champion like even guys that have beat him before that beat Bryce Mitchell before except Josh Emmett,
01:22:41.000I mean, when he fights Drickus Duplassi, eventually we'll see, but he's just storching that division.
01:22:46.000I mean, he's one of the best contenders in that.
01:22:48.000And then you have Mauricio Rufi, who's one of the baddest lightweights alive, gigantic lightweight, tall and long, wheel-kicked Bobby Green into another dimension.
01:28:49.000He was showing me a lot of his rubber guard stuff, like the early stuff, but we would just drill different positions, how to escape certain positions.
01:28:59.000How to finish from certain positions, what to be careful of, and then we just go through paths.
01:29:04.000Like, path was, you know, pass into half guard, push on the knee, move into side control, side control, head and arm, secure the arm, finish the arm triangle, and what we'd do is, like, if he was doing it to me, I would resist, like, 40%, maybe.
01:29:19.000You know, you just kind of, like, sort of resist, and they secure it, and you kind of resist, and they finish it off.
01:29:23.000So it's, like, basically, you're just, you're doing it as if...
01:29:27.000You're doing the same pathway with the same things that a person would do to resist, but then they're not trying to really stop you.
01:35:20.000The concern stems from a 1941 study by Huggins that suggested testosterone fueled prostate cancer, but this has been thoroughly debunked by modern research, particularly by Dr. Abraham Morgenthaler.
01:35:32.000Current evidence shows no causal relationship between testosterone therapy and prostate cancer development.
01:35:38.000In fact, many men with prostate cancer have low testosterone levels.
01:35:42.000The outdated theory misunderstood how testosterone interacts with prostate tissue.
01:35:46.000And numerous studies now show properly monitored testosterone therapy is safe for most men, even those with a history of prostate cancer in some cases.
01:42:09.000Yeah. Do you ever hear the story about him and Richard Nixon?
01:42:12.000No. Richard Nixon and him were getting drunk one night, and Richard Nixon goes, you want to see some UFOs?
01:42:17.000And so they get on Air Force One, and they fly to one of the Air Force bases where they have this fucking crashed UFO and alien bodies on ice.
01:42:27.000Jackie Gleason apparently becomes obsessed with UFOs after this, has a house built in upstate New York that looks like a UFO.
01:44:24.000There's no unfairness because they've worked all that stuff out.
01:44:27.000And it's just superior intellect because everybody's evolved for a million years past where we are now.
01:44:33.000And you get the opportunity to see what a breakthrough civilization looks like right when they're figuring out nuclear power, right when they're figuring out flight and war and cell phones and shit like that.
01:44:45.000That would be like you and I going back and going and visiting the real Wild West.
01:44:51.000Like being in a gold mining town in 1830.
01:45:11.000The kind of barbarians that took a chance with wooden wheels getting pulled by a horse and went across mountain ranges to try to get to the gold, that would be like us going to visit that.
01:45:26.000Like, if you had a chance to see what it would like to see Christopher Columbus land in the Bahamas, to see what that must have been like, of course you would want to see it.
01:45:36.000If you could go literally back in time and see primitive humans, Well, if they're just like us, but they're like us millions of years from now, of course they would want to visit us.
01:45:58.000Well, you can see guys making fucking arrowheads with flint for the first time and strapping them to sticks, giant fucking heads and big teeth, covered in hair, just figuring out tools.
01:48:35.000You know, a mile, two miles deep in some spots.
01:48:38.000If you're from a super sophisticated civilization that's millions of light years away and you can come here instantaneously and you have the ability to traverse in these what they call transmedium craft, which means they can go through air, go through water.
01:48:53.000It creates a gravity bubble around it and go through everything.
01:48:56.000That's what they think these things are doing.
01:48:58.000That's what they can go 500 knots underwater.
01:50:30.000I think even after all the alien talk and everything, I think Americans couldn't really handle it.
01:50:37.000Well, there was actually a discussion.
01:50:39.000This guy Hal Puthoff, who is a physicist that worked with the U.S. government, told me that during the Bush administration, they actually wanted to talk about the potential of disclosure to the American people, what would be the pros and the cons.
01:50:53.000And so they listed what could be disrupted.
01:51:38.000He's written tons of books on the subject.
01:51:41.000And the stories that he knows, that he's aware of, the historical stories, what really gets crazy is when they get into, like, the 1700s and the 1800s and the early 1900s.
01:52:14.000Like, if there's millions and millions and millions of people and one guy is fucking walking his dog in the middle of a field and all of a sudden this thing just lands right in front of him and no one's around.
01:52:25.000And then these things get out and they look at you and they're talking to you with their mind.
01:52:30.000And then they get back in their ship and they fucking...
01:54:37.000And then there's also a weird phenomenon that's real, like ball lightning.
01:54:41.000Ball lightning is a type of lightning that juts around like a ball, like a giant softball of lightning just darting around the sky, and then it goes away.
01:54:51.000And it's just a weird form of lightning that is...
01:58:46.000The Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, like that stuff.
01:58:52.000All the laws that gave you freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, the right to practice your own religion, all those things are incredible, but also the type of people that moved here.
01:59:02.000Crazy, risk-taking motherfuckers that were willing to get their kids and get on a boat and make it across the country.
01:59:09.000So everybody that came over here was just fucking gung-ho.
01:59:55.000And we got to be careful of this place.
01:59:58.000You can't sacrifice the things that made us so great in terms of our freedom just for political gain.
02:00:06.000Because then we're going to give the whole thing away.
02:00:09.000And we could go the same way Iran's going.
02:00:12.000The same way they had a European-style country, and now it's a dictatorship, and now it's Islamic, and there's no getting out of that now without some crazy revolution, right?
02:01:48.000No one should be letting people off the hook for violent crimes.
02:01:50.000No one should be letting gang members live in some sanctuary city from another country that come over here just to cause havoc and create crime because we have weak policing and because we let them in.
02:02:15.000No side should want the ability of the government to, like, imagine, like, you're a person who's over here illegally, but you're not a criminal.
02:02:22.000You're just a guy who doesn't have paperwork, and then they send you to a prison somewhere.
02:02:26.000Someone decides, because of your tattoos, that you're in a gang.
02:02:28.000So now all of a sudden you're in a prison in another country, and you haven't even been to trial.
02:03:11.000You're definitely going to curb crime.
02:03:13.000But you're also going to victimize a few innocent people, a certain percentage of innocent people, like undoubtedly, especially if you have a new due process.
02:03:27.000And if we're sending our prisoners over there, how much different is that than the other stuff that we hate, like sending jobs overseas where people work for a dollar a day and don't get health care?
02:03:41.000We would never allow that in America, right?
02:03:43.000Well, we would never allow this kind of a prison in America either.
02:03:47.000So should we really be involved in sending people to this kind of a prison if they're from another country?
02:03:58.000I think there is a bit of a problem, right, if you come from one country and then they put you in a prison in another one without a trial.
02:04:08.000If they say you're a gang member and you're in MS-13, you come from Mexico, you make your way into America, and all of a sudden they put you in an El Salvador prison, you're like, yo, what happened here?
02:04:27.000Because, you know, they were saying that they keep talking about this guy in the mainstream media, saying he's a Maryland father, but then that Tom Homan guy says, no, he's a member of MS-13.
02:04:37.000And so, okay, who's telling the truth?
02:04:39.000And they were saying that if he got deported and came back into this country, again, illegally, we would round him up again and do it all over again.
02:06:48.000I don't know the truth of these cases because you get a biased Take from one side, oftentimes, and then you get a biased take from the other side, and they're duking it out to shape reality for you.
02:07:53.000But it's another thing when you're rounding up people because you think they look suspicious.
02:07:59.000Like, during the first Trump administration, there's this dude who was a contractor who was doing something for my house, and he was an army veteran.
02:08:11.000I think he was in for 20-plus years and worked at a management position at a big construction firm.
02:10:54.000If you don't have due process, you also have the potential for people to potentially falsely accuse someone on purpose just so they could arrest them because they don't like them or they have a bad business dealing with them or there's some reason why they want to send this motherfucker to show him to El Salvador.
02:12:25.000Make sure that everybody continues to let us know where those folks are.
02:12:29.000If you've observed recurring violations of the Safer at Home order, please continue to let us know at coronavirus.lacity.org slash business violation.
02:12:40.000You know the old expression about snitches.
02:13:21.000I'll do whatever time you want me to do, prove that I did it.
02:13:24.000Just don't open up your fucking mouth.
02:13:26.000Absolutely. But when you have something like, I'm asking for you to turn people in, for anything, people are going to go nutty and start ratting on people.
02:14:24.000You know, you give people this ability with social media or even more so if you, like, anonymously tip people that people are immigrants here illegally.
02:14:35.000Like, boy, that's going to be a problem if that ever happens.
02:15:08.000Right? If you've got a quota, I don't know if there is a quota, but if there's a quota for how many immigrants we're going to send back, you've got to have a problem.
02:15:15.000Because now you've made it a game, and now I'm trying to score points.
02:15:19.000And if Joey gets 30 guys, I want to get 50 guys.
02:16:05.000I always said that, like, what would they do?
02:16:07.000See, this is a problem with the government that they're exposed with this Department of Government Efficiency.
02:16:12.000And I had heard about this before from my friends that are in the military, that, like, if you get a budget for the year, if you don't spend all of that money, your budget's going to be reduced next year.
02:17:30.000They make you go on a very specific narrative and you can't go outside the lines.
02:17:34.000If you want the human race to evolve, if you want people to evolve culturally, if you want people to communicate better, they've got to be able to say whatever they want.
02:17:44.000And then you decide if you want to communicate with people that speak differently than you.
02:17:48.000And if you think that they have an egregious position, you're allowed to say something about it.
02:19:49.000If you just prescribe off-label a drug that people say is beneficial in certain trials, but you're, for some reason, you're not allowed to do it.
02:19:59.000For the first time ever, doctors are prohibited from prescribing something off-label that has no negative side effects.
02:23:44.000That's how it happens stupid and you're doing it right now and We recognize that or we don't and if we don't it's not good But I think we will I think we have a different you know a different Way of communicating now because people can talk so much online You're going to get a lot of stupid shit online.
02:24:09.000But you're also going to get a lot of conversations that make you think, that make you go,"That actually makes sense." Like, why are we assuming that the way we're doing it so far and the way we've been doing it is the only way to do it?
02:25:26.000There's something that happens to you when you realize this little person you love more than life itself and you're taking care of them now and then you want the world to be a better place.
02:25:34.000And then you start thinking, oh, all these people around me used to be babies.
02:25:38.000We're all on this weird journey and maybe we could all be a little nicer to each other.
02:25:45.000If that doesn't happen to you and you don't have kids, you don't have something that you love more than life itself, you know, it's a different...
02:25:53.000And if you want power when you're that person, that's a different kind of thing, too.
02:25:57.000And especially if you're into war, if you're a war hawk and you don't have any kids, like, Jesus Christ, you're willing to send other people's kids overseas to die for some nonsense?
02:26:07.000And you don't even know what that is like?
02:31:19.000It's not like a regular restaurant where they, like, follow Joe Rogan around for a day and then fucking come back tomorrow and you're on your own.
02:31:51.000Yeah, we had the car before we had the fucking license.
02:31:54.000Yeah. But listen, I had, you know, people, I went to a comedy show and a guy, a comedian, was talking about kids and I'm like, I'm not going to do that no more.
02:33:37.000They said that they studied a bunch of people to see how much microplastic they had in their brain, and some people had as much as a plastic spoon.
02:33:50.000You have so many microplastics in your brain that if they extracted it all, you can make a plastic spoon.
02:33:57.000So, of course, that's going to wreck your fucking testosterone, too.
02:34:01.000And then I saw this thing about Call of Duty, some fucking insane statistic about the amount of time that in total that's been played in Call of Duty is like more than human civilization.
02:34:16.000Like the amount of minutes that people have logged, like millions of people playing Call of Duty, is like, if you put it all together, it's longer than human civilization.
02:34:27.000And I've never played a video game, Joe.
02:42:33.000Generally speaking, there's usually it's around 13 fights.
02:42:42.000You know John and I were talking about that the other day like there's nothing like calling the UFC fights because you start You know if it's on in Vegas time you're starting the fights at 3 p.m.
02:42:53.000And you're going all the way through to the pay-per-view You're doing like six hours plus of commentary and then you got to find times to run to pee Sometimes it's like I have to tell the truck I cannot pee.
02:43:05.000Because I'm drinking Monster Energy drinks, and I'm taking nicotine pouches, and I'm fucking fired up, and I'm drinking a lot of water, too.
02:43:12.000I'm drinking my hydrogen water, and I have to fucking pee so bad.
02:43:15.000There's nothing worse when you're trying to form a sentence and you have to pee.
02:43:45.000But, dog, I'm in a world where some weeks are better than others.
02:43:49.000I don't get up at night to pee, but in the daytime, especially if I work out and I start drinking that water and drinking that water, oh, baby, I got to start peeing.
02:43:58.000And when I got sick, This was the beauty of it.
02:44:00.000Every time I had to pee, I'd get anxiety.
02:44:10.000The last week of February, when I went to the hospital in March, that was possibly...
02:44:18.000That Saturday night, my blood pressure was 212 over 100, and my oxygen level was at 86. And I wouldn't go to the hospital because I didn't want the ambulance coming to get me at 4 in the morning in front of my daughter.
02:44:31.000So I waited till 8, and then I drove myself to the hospital.
02:45:45.000And your fucking stress level's going up and up because you're holding your fucking peeing.
02:45:50.000It got to the point I would walk into the shop where I get what I had to get, but now I got to stand there because I got to fucking pee from the walking.
02:47:53.000But this ain't the first time it happened.
02:47:55.000It happened when I was doing testosterone when I was 50. I had a rush of red blood cells, and I was in D.C., and I had the worst fucking migraine headache for days.
02:48:05.000And they took blood out and they go, you got too many red blood cells.
02:48:08.000Wow. So that's why I can't do any of that shit.
02:48:11.000And it's like the man said, if you're going to do growth, do growth.
02:48:15.000Don't get something that's going to mimic growth.