The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2309 - Joey Diaz

00:00:12.000 Let's fucking go.

00:00:14.000 Let's go.

00:00:15.000 Joey Diaz, ladies and gentlemen.

00:00:16.000 What's up, beautiful?

00:00:17.000 It's good to see you, my brother.

00:00:18.000 Good to see you.

00:00:19.000 That was great.

00:00:20.000 The club was fucking in rare form last night.

00:00:22.000 Oh, last night was packed.

00:00:24.000 It's been packed all week.

00:00:25.000 It's been really fun.

00:00:26.000 A lot of fun shows, you know.

00:00:28.000 Shane was there last night or the night before last.

00:00:31.000 You know, you're there tonight.

00:00:33.000 It's been amazing.

00:00:35.000 Holtzman is on fire.

00:00:37.000 He's crazy.

00:00:37.000 Holtzman's on fire.

00:00:38.000 Last night he was on fire.

00:00:41.000 Me and Adam Egott were howling.

00:00:44.000 We were watching him from the balcony and howling.

00:00:46.000 It's such a good community, Joey.

00:00:48.000 It's so nice out here.

00:00:49.000 You know, I bumped into Duncan for breakfast.

00:00:51.000 He's the best.

00:00:52.000 Like, we just looked at each other.

00:00:53.000 He's like, what are you doing here?

00:00:54.000 And we sat down.

00:00:56.000 Me and Duncan are going to corner you and try to get you to move here.

00:00:58.000 Nah, we're going to figure it out.

00:01:00.000 Yeah, you belong here.

00:01:02.000 Every time I come down here, I see something else that...

00:01:04.000 Like, I had a great time last night.

00:01:06.000 Joe DeRose is here now, too.

00:01:07.000 That's what I heard.

00:01:08.000 Yeah, he just moved here.

00:01:09.000 Is he going to bring the sandwich shop down here?

00:01:10.000 Yes, he is.

00:01:11.000 We're going to open up a sandwich shop out here.

00:01:12.000 He is, brother.

00:01:13.000 That's a good fucking idea.

00:01:14.000 I say we because I'm going to be eating here.

00:01:16.000 Yeah, he makes good sandwiches.

00:01:17.000 He makes a very good sandwich.

00:01:18.000 Very good sandwich.

00:01:19.000 Yeah. He brought a bunch of them.

00:01:21.000 Was it Moon Tower last year that he brought them?

00:01:23.000 It might have been.

00:01:24.000 It was Moon Tower or South by Southwest.

00:01:27.000 One of the two last year.

00:01:28.000 He brought like a ton of sandwiches.

00:01:30.000 He had a pop-up.

00:01:31.000 So his restaurant did a pop-up somewhere in Austin.

00:01:34.000 I was like, bro, you got to open this up here.

00:01:36.000 You'd be killing it.

00:01:37.000 Especially if it's you.

00:01:38.000 And people know it's your business.

00:01:41.000 Because I've heard somebody else was telling me about the sandwiches.

00:01:43.000 Very legit.

00:01:44.000 I gotta go up there.

00:01:45.000 Very legit.

00:01:45.000 I just don't even know where it is.

00:01:47.000 I don't know if it's in Brooklyn.

00:01:48.000 Bro, I want to kidnap my man Giovanni in White Plains.

00:01:50.000 Bring him out here.

00:01:51.000 He can't survive outside of Italian neighborhoods, though.

00:01:55.000 That guy's the most Italian guy that's ever lived.

00:01:58.000 And, you know, they get their stuff up there.

00:02:00.000 Yeah, they get everything.

00:02:01.000 And it's all coming in right from Italy. 0.76

00:02:03.000 You know, because a lot of it's imported.

00:02:04.000 They use a lot of imported stuff.

00:02:06.000 Imported mortadella.

00:02:08.000 Imported... The peppers, all that stuff that they have.

00:02:12.000 You know, sun-dried peppers, sun-dried tomatoes.

00:02:14.000 They import all that shit.

00:02:15.000 They gotta get that shit.

00:02:16.000 Because if it goes there, then it's gotta ship from the boat all the way to Texas.

00:02:22.000 It's a little bit of a pain in the ass.

00:02:23.000 Remember fucking Greasy Tony?

00:02:24.000 He used to drive once a month to New Jersey and get co-cuts and fucking chicken cutlets.

00:02:30.000 Poor Greasy Tony.

00:02:32.000 We used to visit him every time we went to Tempe.

00:02:35.000 He was our guy.

00:02:36.000 Remember you said not to drink his Mountain Dew because he made it himself.

00:02:39.000 He was up for two days.

00:02:40.000 He used to make it.

00:02:41.000 That was the strongest Mountain fucking Dew you could ever taste in your life.

00:02:45.000 You were up for a day.

00:02:47.000 Greasy Tony was such a character.

00:02:50.000 He was such a character.

00:02:51.000 He became our friend.

00:02:52.000 Yeah, he was a good dude.

00:02:53.000 When we first started going there, we were visiting him for like 10 fucking years.

00:02:58.000 Every time we would do shows in town, we'd go visit Greasy Tony.

00:03:01.000 He had a $20 chicken cutlet sandwich.

00:03:04.000 Phenomenal. 15 years ago.

00:03:06.000 Which weighed.

00:03:07.000 Like, I was 400 pounds, and I would bring it home and try to finish it.

00:03:12.000 Do you remember that steak sub that he would make?

00:03:15.000 What did he call it?

00:03:15.000 Trash can?

00:03:16.000 Yes, that's right.

00:03:18.000 The trash can.

00:03:19.000 It was crazy.

00:03:21.000 Peppers and onions and cheese and fucking everything was in that thing.

00:03:26.000 It was crazy.

00:03:27.000 It was that thick.

00:03:29.000 When I drove in yesterday...

00:03:30.000 I'm like, this is how things change.

00:03:32.000 I mean, we've been coming here since 95. I know I have, right?

00:03:35.000 Yeah, I think 99 was my first time here.

00:03:37.000 I would do Houston and drive down here and do the lobby in the fucking Cap City when they had to stand up in the lobby.

00:03:45.000 I still remember that, driving from fucking Houston down here, not having any money, having to drive back because we couldn't get a hotel room, drive back to Houston at the end of the night.

00:03:54.000 And I was looking at this yesterday.

00:03:57.000 When I landed, it was 4 o'clock traffic.

00:03:59.000 And I'm like, my God, this is how...

00:04:02.000 We're watching how past civilizations just changed.

00:04:06.000 Yes. Something happened here and everybody moved here.

00:04:10.000 Yep. And I'm not talking about four or five people.

00:04:12.000 Everybody. Yeah.

00:04:14.000 And that's how civilizations change.

00:04:16.000 We just witnessed it after the pandemic.

00:04:18.000 It's been fucking surreal.

00:04:20.000 Yeah. It has been surreal.

00:04:22.000 Surreal. To see things change.

00:04:24.000 Yeah. You know what?

00:04:25.000 It's also...

00:04:27.000 There's places that sort of rest on their laurels too much.

00:04:31.000 And whenever that happens, it's easy for another place to rise up that offers something more interesting.

00:04:38.000 So, like, Los Angeles was always Los Angeles.

00:04:41.000 And, like, when Gavin Newsom talks about California, he's like, you know, I'm very big on California, very bullish on California.

00:04:48.000 California has all this industry.

00:04:49.000 Hey, fucko. 1.00

00:04:51.000 They're all thinking about moving.

00:04:53.000 The only reason why they don't move is because it's too difficult to move.

00:04:59.000 If it was like every business could instantly pull up roots and replace everything and have everything running in a week at the other place, they'd all be gone.

00:05:08.000 They'd all be gone.

00:05:09.000 It's too expensive.

00:05:11.000 It's too expensive to leave versus what you would save and the regulations that you wouldn't have to go through and all the bullshit with all the permits.

00:05:19.000 What California does is over-regulate. 0.93

00:05:23.000 Everything. They get as much government involved as possible.

00:05:27.000 They suck as much tax money out of you as possible.

00:05:30.000 And then they still leave the place a mess.

00:05:33.000 They still have homeless people everywhere.

00:05:35.000 It's still a fucking disaster.

00:05:37.000 It's still a woke shit show of virtue signaling at every level of the government.

00:05:43.000 Still. Like, no course correction at all.

00:05:46.000 They're going further and further into la-la land. 1.00

00:05:49.000 And you're like, Jesus Christ, you guys.

00:05:52.000 And so then a place like Austin becomes attractive, you know, because, like, it's not like that here.

00:05:56.000 And people are very reasonable.

00:05:58.000 And Austin, the best thing about Austin is it's a blue city in a red state.

00:06:04.000 So it's, like, balanced.

00:06:06.000 Like, this is a saying they have out here, keep Austin weird and surrounded.

00:06:11.000 So, Austin is surrounded by rednecks with guns. 1.00

00:06:15.000 And, like, it keeps the tone more medium.

00:06:19.000 Like, the Austin liberals, they're much more just left-of-center people, like we are.

00:06:26.000 You know what I mean?

00:06:27.000 Like, in some parts of the country, we're considered, like, far-right.

00:06:31.000 You and I. Far-right.

00:06:33.000 It's crazy.

00:06:34.000 It's fucking ridiculous.

00:06:36.000 But it's because everybody went nuts and everyone demanded a whole series of things that you have to agree to in order to be a good person.

00:06:45.000 Fuck off.

00:06:46.000 You know what the real problem is out there?

00:06:48.000 Let me tell you what the real problem is.

00:06:50.000 I didn't realize it until I fucking left.

00:06:52.000 What? That everybody's too busy tapping themselves on the back.

00:06:55.000 There's a lot of that.

00:06:56.000 When the fires happen, those three women or whatever the fuck, the chief and whatever, I'm looking at them and I'm like, look at them. 0.56

00:07:03.000 They all got gel in their hair.

00:07:06.000 They all got a tattoo on their neck.

00:07:07.000 God forbid.

00:07:08.000 God forbid they can't be cool for just one fucking minute.

00:07:12.000 God forbid.

00:07:13.000 And that's the problem you have out there.

00:07:15.000 It's too many people.

00:07:17.000 I'm so great.

00:07:18.000 This is my idea, and it's great, and it's going to work.

00:07:20.000 It's not working.

00:07:21.000 You're right.

00:07:22.000 But you're too stupid to say, you know what?

00:07:24.000 This ain't working.

00:07:26.000 Their egos are so big, they don't have the heart to go, this ain't working.

00:07:30.000 You're right.

00:07:31.000 You're absolutely right.

00:07:33.000 I don't think it's entirely their fault.

00:07:35.000 It is their fault, but the culture rewards that kind of behavior.

00:07:38.000 This is the problem with having protected classes of people, whether it's gay, lesbian, whatever it is, whether it's your nationality. 0.77

00:07:48.000 If you have a protected class of people where you're not allowed to criticize the protected class of people, then they become, you know, Vivek Ramaswamy talked about this in a very interesting way.

00:08:00.000 He was like, It's the tyranny of the underprivileged.

00:08:05.000 Is that what he called it?

00:08:06.000 The tyranny of the marginalized or something along those lines. 0.85

00:08:11.000 But the idea is that this group of people, whether they're trans people or gay people, they get, oh, above everything.

00:08:17.000 Everything you do is amazing.

00:08:19.000 Oh, my God, you're so fabulous.

00:08:21.000 Because no one wants to be thought of as homophobic or transphobic.

00:08:25.000 So you pretend that everything they do is incredible.

00:08:28.000 And so you're going to be the best firefighter ever.

00:08:31.000 You carry a burning man out of a building?

00:08:32.000 Girl, you don't have to.

00:08:33.000 If he was in that building, he shouldn't have been in that building in the first place.

00:08:36.000 If I have to carry him out, we got other problems.

00:08:38.000 A literal firefighter said that in response to, could she carry her husband out of the building? 0.68

00:08:45.000 Like, no, you can't.

00:08:46.000 And so you shouldn't be a firefighter.

00:08:48.000 Just like you shouldn't be a bouncer if you can't fight.

00:08:51.000 You shouldn't be a firefighter.

00:08:53.000 You shouldn't be a firefighter if you can't carry someone out of a building.

00:08:56.000 If you can't run up a flight of stairs because you're 260 pounds and 5'7 and a woman. 0.98

00:09:02.000 No. No, you shouldn't be a firefighter.

00:09:04.000 You should have to be in, like, really good shape to be a...

00:09:06.000 No, if you're some fucking CrossFit's game lady who's some beast, I'm like, yeah, that lady could be a firefighter. 1.00

00:09:12.000 Yeah. But it's, like, even guys.

00:09:14.000 Like, if you're a guy and you're fucking scrawny and you never work out and all you do is smoke cigarettes, maybe you shouldn't be a firefighter.

00:09:21.000 You know, maybe you can...

00:09:23.000 Maybe you can't get up that fucking flight of stairs either.

00:09:26.000 It's a physical job where you're rescuing people.

00:09:30.000 You have to be able to physically carry people.

00:09:32.000 You have to rescue them.

00:09:34.000 Firefighters, when I was a kid, were the fucking big, brutal men.

00:09:38.000 Beast. Kicking down doors. 0.90

00:09:40.000 Big fucking houses.

00:09:41.000 They looked like former football players.

00:09:43.000 There was this guy I used to play pool with, Ray the Fireman.

00:09:45.000 Because everybody in the pool hall, I was Joe the Comedian.

00:09:48.000 Everybody had a nickname based on what you did.

00:09:50.000 Ray the Fireman was a fucking house.

00:09:52.000 He's just a big fucking, like, big Irish guy. 0.99

00:09:56.000 You know, like, of course he's a fireman.

00:09:58.000 Look at him.

00:09:58.000 That guy's gonna kick down a door, carry your fucking husband, throw him over his shoulder, run through the flames, throw him on the lawn.

00:10:07.000 He does it all the time.

00:10:08.000 He's an animal.

00:10:09.000 Like Vito's lover in The Sopranos.

00:10:11.000 Remember he was a fireman?

00:10:12.000 Remember he was a fireman, the gay dude? 1.00

00:10:14.000 I forgot about that scene.

00:10:16.000 Then he killed himself in real life.

00:10:17.000 Oh, did he really?

00:10:18.000 After that show?

00:10:19.000 Because they thought he was gay?

00:10:20.000 I don't know.

00:10:21.000 I read something.

00:10:22.000 I hope it wasn't that.

00:10:23.000 I hope they didn't taunt him for being gay.

00:10:25.000 Can you imagine?

00:10:26.000 You get your shot.

00:10:26.000 Hey, Joey, I got good news and bad news.

00:10:30.000 Good news is you're going to be on The Sopranos.

00:10:33.000 Bad news is you got to fuck a guy.

00:10:35.000 And you got to swap spit with him.

00:10:37.000 Yeah, swap spit on camera. 1.00

00:10:38.000 On camera.

00:10:38.000 Yeah. But you're on The Sopranos.

00:10:41.000 What are you going to do?

00:10:42.000 Depends on what you want to do.

00:10:44.000 If you're a regular guy and that's your first acting gig, I suggest you pass.

00:10:48.000 I suggest you pass.

00:10:51.000 You have to be like a Jared Leto type dude to pull that off.

00:10:56.000 Died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound December 16, 2008 at the age of 47. And he was a firefighter.

00:11:02.000 A former firefighter.

00:11:06.000 Who knows?

00:11:07.000 I mean, when did he die?

00:11:09.000 How long after the show?

00:11:13.000 Go pull it back up again.

00:11:14.000 Because it just said.

00:11:18.000 So he died in 2008.

00:11:20.000 So the show was running in 2008.

00:11:24.000 Right? Yep.

00:11:25.000 Was Soprano still on in 2008?

00:11:27.000 No. No, it was off by then?

00:11:29.000 I think.

00:11:30.000 No, 2009 maybe?

00:11:32.000 I don't know.

00:11:33.000 Let's find that out and then we'll have an answer.

00:11:35.000 But I would imagine if you're a guy, an Italian guy or whatever, and you go back to the neighborhood. 1.00

00:11:42.000 And you've been playing?

00:11:43.000 It ended June 10th, 2007.

00:11:45.000 So right after it ended, I guess.

00:11:46.000 Right after it ended, he waxed himself.

00:11:50.000 That's so unfortunate.

00:11:52.000 There's another beautiful thing about the comedy community.

00:11:55.000 Like, nobody gives a fuck if you're gay.

00:11:57.000 Like, Tim Dillon.

00:11:59.000 Tim Dillon, he's just one of us.

00:12:03.000 It's just, we're all, like, the lesbians that come there and hang out, they're just one of us. 0.95

00:12:09.000 No one.

00:12:10.000 Gives a flying fuck.

00:12:12.000 It's just, if you're not funny, nobody wants to hang out with you.

00:12:14.000 If you're not funny, like, get out of the green room.

00:12:16.000 You know what I mean?

00:12:16.000 But if you're funny, who cares?

00:12:18.000 No one cares.

00:12:20.000 Do you remember the kid from Houston?

00:12:21.000 Which one?

00:12:22.000 The guy that used to always wear football shirts?

00:12:24.000 Yes! Where?

00:12:25.000 Did he die?

00:12:26.000 He passed away.

00:12:27.000 That was my brother.

00:12:28.000 What was his name?

00:12:30.000 God damn it.

00:12:31.000 I loved him.

00:12:32.000 I loved him.

00:12:33.000 It's fucking escaping my mind.

00:12:34.000 With the little hat on.

00:12:35.000 You're gonna remember his name.

00:12:36.000 And he come up to you and give you a hug all the time.

00:12:38.000 I haven't seen him in so long.

00:12:39.000 When did he die?

00:12:41.000 I don't know, maybe ten years ago?

00:12:43.000 Did he talk about being gay on stage?

00:12:45.000 No, but he told me he was gay.

00:12:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:47.000 Well, he was gay as fuck.

00:12:48.000 He would go to those army things just to fuck men.

00:12:50.000 Well, he just looked like a football player.

00:12:53.000 Yes. Like a big former...

00:12:54.000 He looked like a Shane Gillis type dude.

00:12:56.000 Yeah. Like a big former football player, but he was gay. 1.00

00:12:58.000 But he was gay.

00:12:59.000 He always wore football jerseys.

00:13:00.000 Always football jerseys.

00:13:01.000 That's how we trick him.

00:13:03.000 Sweetheart of a guy.

00:13:03.000 But again, same situation, Joey.

00:13:05.000 That guy was one of us.

00:13:06.000 He just hung out with us.

00:13:07.000 No, I loved him to do that.

00:13:08.000 He just hung out with us.

00:13:08.000 I love that dude to death.

00:13:10.000 It didn't even matter to me that he was...

00:13:11.000 Listen, that's never mattered to me.

00:13:13.000 You gotta remember, I was a Judas Priest fan in high school.

00:13:16.000 That dude's just gay as hell. 1.00

00:13:17.000 First time I saw him...

00:13:18.000 Nobody knew.

00:13:18.000 Isn't that funny?

00:13:19.000 I fucking knew in 79. Nobody comes out with a little hat with a whip. 0.93

00:13:23.000 Right. You know, I saw him at the Palladium.

00:13:25.000 You got another thing coming.

00:13:27.000 Oh my God.

00:13:28.000 Did you ever read...

00:13:29.000 You just have to try to read his book.

00:13:31.000 Really? Jimmy Florentine gave it to me.

00:13:34.000 You have to try to read it.

00:13:35.000 Is it crazy?

00:13:36.000 I'll just tell you one story.

00:13:38.000 There was a guy in Chicago, like a stylist.

00:13:41.000 They used to tell him he wanted dick.

00:13:43.000 You know those people, those women? 0.96

00:13:45.000 Come on, Joe.

00:13:46.000 Come on.

00:13:47.000 And you're like, come on.

00:13:48.000 It's never going to happen.

00:13:49.000 And he said, finally, he got pissed off one day.

00:13:51.000 And he took the guy up on his office.

00:13:53.000 He goes, I fucked him so hard, I blew out with his O-ring. 0.93

00:13:56.000 I had to go to the hospital.

00:13:59.000 I'm reading this going, this is my type of fucking guy.

00:14:01.000 I love this fucking guy.

00:14:03.000 Well, you've got to think what Rob Halford did.

00:14:06.000 When he was at the head of Judas Priest, he got all these straight guys to dress like they're in a gay biker gang because they wanted to be cool like Judas Priest. 0.84

00:14:14.000 He changed the style of a kind of music.

00:14:17.000 He really did.

00:14:18.000 I loved him.

00:14:19.000 How many straight guys dressed like gay bikers not even knowing what they were doing? 1.00

00:14:24.000 They just thought, you know, this is how you dress for this kind of music.

00:14:27.000 But it was because of Rob Alford.

00:14:29.000 Fucking Rob.

00:14:30.000 And he's still out.

00:14:30.000 You know, I had him on a show once.

00:14:32.000 There he is, that bad motherfucker.

00:14:34.000 You got another thing coming.

00:14:37.000 I had a buddy of mine in high school who loved that song, and he used like a quote of it in his yearbook.

00:14:45.000 And I always remember thinking, wow, that's the coolest quote.

00:14:48.000 Like, if you think you're going to sit around and let you chip with me in my brain, listen, I ain't fooling you, you better think again.

00:14:54.000 Out there is a fortune waiting to be had.

00:14:57.000 You think I let it go, you're mad.

00:14:59.000 You got another thing coming.

00:15:01.000 Fucking great album, great shit.

00:15:03.000 That kid never did anything, though.

00:15:04.000 No. He never left the town.

00:15:06.000 No. He fell apart after high school.

00:15:06.000 And here's the weirdest thing about Judas Priest.

00:15:09.000 What? His writing.

00:15:12.000 That's what I fucking died about.

00:15:14.000 His writing.

00:15:15.000 Because he would write, and you're thinking he's writing about a woman.

00:15:18.000 He's writing about assholes.

00:15:19.000 He's writing about a man.

00:15:20.000 And he has a song called Burning Up that is so fucking over the top.

00:15:28.000 I know you feel the same.

00:15:30.000 I know you feel the flame burning deep inside of you.

00:15:34.000 Burning you up.

00:15:35.000 Breaking you down.

00:15:37.000 I'm breaking you out in a cold sweat.

00:15:39.000 But when you lose control of your very soul, your desire takes over.

00:15:45.000 You'll feel the heat wave.

00:15:47.000 You'll answer my way, and suddenly you know that you're burning up.

00:15:52.000 Ooh. That is a bad mouth.

00:15:55.000 When I heard that, I'm like, oh.

00:15:56.000 Let me hear that, Jamie.

00:15:58.000 We'll have to edit this out of YouTube.

00:16:00.000 For the folks at home, please seek it online.

00:16:03.000 Here we go.

00:16:05.000 Listen to the way it starts.

00:16:12.000 It's like a satellite.

00:16:15.000 This is back before satellites, like before we had modems.

00:16:20.000 Ooh. This is 1980.

00:16:22.000 This is on a Hell Bent for Leather tour.

00:16:35.000 You could let songs cook back then, you know?

00:16:38.000 Like Time, Pink Floyd Time.

00:16:42.000 Oh, baby.

00:16:46.000 Guess what just got added to the Spotify playlist?

00:16:49.000 You ditch me up good and you got me down So I string you up to keep you hanging around You dish the hot stuff up but you keep me waiting So I play it dirty till your body is breaking 0.99

00:17:05.000 We've got to make love, the time is right We've got to make love tonight Cause we're burning up You make

00:17:22.000 me greedy, you won't feed me my food But I make it easy cause I see straight through you You cool me up and hot me up

00:17:37.000 There you go.

00:17:39.000 Hot gay love coming at you. 1.00

00:17:43.000 So when I read those lyrics, I'm like, that's the most brilliant fucking thing.

00:17:49.000 That's the darkest thing about gay people today is that some of them are in the closet, other than homophobia.

00:17:56.000 There's genuinely people that hate gays.

00:17:59.000 But that's rare.

00:18:00.000 Nobody hates gays.

00:18:01.000 No, there's people that hate gay people.

00:18:03.000 It's 2025.

00:18:03.000 I can't see you.

00:18:05.000 You know, it's all around us.

00:18:06.000 If you're still hating, you got a fucking problem.

00:18:09.000 There's guys that have been molested when they were young.

00:18:12.000 They get angry at gay people.

00:18:14.000 Not that it makes sense.

00:18:16.000 I'm not justifying it.

00:18:17.000 But I've met guys that had problems with gay people.

00:18:21.000 They were very scared around gay people.

00:18:23.000 But it was because they got molested by a pedophile.

00:18:26.000 Right. Pedophile and being gay is two different fucking things.

00:18:29.000 Big difference.

00:18:30.000 So I'm just saying there are people, and there's very religious people that don't like gay people.

00:18:34.000 Most normal people don't give a fuck.

00:18:37.000 Most normal people don't give a fuck.

00:18:39.000 And they shouldn't.

00:18:40.000 It's stupid.

00:18:41.000 It's a dumb thing to think about.

00:18:43.000 It's just like, if you're not having sex with me, what do I care? 0.51

00:18:46.000 Who cares?

00:18:47.000 This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog.

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00:19:56.000 Now, the way I grew up, you know, the Cuban men's side of me was supposed to...

00:20:01.000 Right. The pre-revolution Cubans, they like... 1.00

00:20:04.000 Italians, too.

00:20:05.000 Catholics, yeah. 0.79

00:20:05.000 They wouldn't go in the room. 0.79

00:20:06.000 If there's a gay man in the room.

00:20:08.000 I always thought that was...

00:20:09.000 The fuck?

00:20:11.000 I won't go in there.

00:20:12.000 Why? Because you're a machismo type of dude?

00:20:15.000 But my mother was the one that goes, no, they're fucking... 1.00

00:20:18.000 And then we had a gay guy in our neighborhood.

00:20:21.000 I told you about this guy.

00:20:22.000 He worked with my mother.

00:20:24.000 He was a designer on Broadway for some plays.

00:20:27.000 He would design the couch.

00:20:29.000 But at night he sold coke.

00:20:31.000 This is like 1975.

00:20:33.000 And he would come to the bar and I knew he was gay.

00:20:36.000 His name was Matin.

00:20:38.000 We called him Matin and Maricón because that's what that means in Spanish.

00:20:42.000 Maricón means fag in Spanish. 0.93

00:20:44.000 So that was his open name in the Cuban community.

00:20:47.000 But one day he came into my mother's bar and there was two bookies.

00:20:50.000 I was like a kid.

00:20:51.000 I was playing that shuffleboard.

00:20:52.000 Remember when you play the sawdust and you spray it?

00:20:55.000 I'm playing the shuffleboard.

00:20:57.000 And he was right there.

00:20:58.000 And the two bookies were in the corner.

00:20:59.000 And the one guy goes, look who it is, Matin and Maricón.

00:21:02.000 And this motherfucker pulled out at 32. Oh, Jesus.

00:21:05.000 And he goes, listen.

00:21:06.000 I'm going to tell the both of you that unless you suck my dick or I fuck you in the ass, you don't have the right to call me Martin the Fag.

00:21:14.000 So say it again, I'm going to shoot both of you.

00:21:15.000 And my mom is yelling at him, Martin, Martin, Coco's behind you.

00:21:19.000 If they start shooting at each other, I'm right here.

00:21:21.000 I lift my head up.

00:21:22.000 I'm like, oh, and Martin's like...

00:21:24.000 And all of a sudden, Martin left.

00:21:25.000 So the next day, I guess he called my mother to apologize.

00:21:27.000 And Martin, my mother made Martin come and apologize to me.

00:21:31.000 And when he opened the door, and he was like, I'm very sorry about pulling out the gun, I go...

00:21:34.000 Fuck that.

00:21:35.000 You're my new Charles Bronson.

00:21:37.000 I gave him a fucking hug, and he became my best friend after that.

00:21:41.000 And I respected him because he was going through hate.

00:21:43.000 Yeah, really hate.

00:21:44.000 In the mid-70s, he would come back once a week with a black eye or a busted lip.

00:21:48.000 He went to a bar in the village, and there'd be guys waiting for him on the way out.

00:21:52.000 And I always respected that dude.

00:21:54.000 Like, always respected him for that.

00:21:57.000 The problem with bullies and bigots and people that attack people like that is the same problem in all walks of society.

00:22:05.000 It's weak men.

00:22:06.000 It's almost always just weak men.

00:22:09.000 Weak, stupid men that want to find someone to pick on.

00:22:12.000 Want to find someone that's not bothering them at all and fuck with them because they're weak.

00:22:16.000 That's all it is.

00:22:20.000 Like, the woke people that scream at you.

00:22:22.000 And want you to do what they want.

00:22:24.000 The people that want to spray paint swastikas on Teslas.

00:22:27.000 It's the same thing.

00:22:28.000 It's weak men.

00:22:29.000 Mostly weak men.

00:22:30.000 A bunch of crazy women. 1.00

00:22:32.000 And they're all together in this big pile of suck that's connected to a political ideology.

00:22:37.000 But most people, you know, you shouldn't care.

00:22:40.000 And if you do care, you just weren't around.

00:22:42.000 I was around gay people when I was really young, fortunately. 1.00

00:22:45.000 I lived in San Francisco when I was seven years old.

00:22:48.000 And we were in the middle of gay land. 0.92

00:22:51.000 I mean, it was San Francisco in the 70s, dude.

00:22:53.000 It was gay as fuck. 1.00

00:22:54.000 During the Vietnam War in San Francisco.

00:22:57.000 I remember I'd be walking down the street with my stepdad once and a guy whistled at him.

00:23:01.000 I was like, oh shit.

00:23:02.000 I got uncomfortable.

00:23:03.000 Like, he didn't freak out.

00:23:04.000 He just shook his head like, what the fuck?

00:23:07.000 With a little kid!

00:23:09.000 He's walking with a seven-year-old!

00:23:11.000 And this guy whistled him down.

00:23:13.000 That guy didn't give a fuck about kids.

00:23:15.000 He's not making any.

00:23:15.000 He doesn't care.

00:23:17.000 So we had these next-door neighbors, this gay couple, and my aunt used to smoke weed with them, and they'd get naked and play bongos. 0.99

00:23:26.000 And she loved the fact that she could get naked with these guys because they didn't try to fuck her.

00:23:30.000 So they'd all just get naked together and smoke weed and play bongos.

00:23:33.000 It was hilarious.

00:23:34.000 They were really nice people.

00:23:36.000 So, like, my experience with gay people was just, like, they're everywhere.

00:23:39.000 It's normal.

00:23:40.000 So when I moved to Florida, I had a friend.

00:23:43.000 My friend was Cuban.

00:23:45.000 His name was Candy.

00:23:46.000 His last name was Candido.

00:23:47.000 We called him Candy.

00:23:48.000 And Candy was with his dad, and his dad throws the newspaper down on the fucking table.

00:23:53.000 God damn it.

00:23:55.000 And he's like, whoa, what's going on?

00:23:57.000 It's like, these fucking fags are trying to marry each other. 1.00

00:23:59.000 And I remember I was 11 years old, and I was like, why do you care?

00:24:03.000 Like, he was getting...

00:24:05.000 He threw the newspaper at the table because of gay marriage. 1.00

00:24:07.000 I'm like, why do you care?

00:24:08.000 I'm like, what a fool.

00:24:09.000 You're a grown-ass man, and you care about that?

00:24:12.000 Like, who cares if they get married? 0.98

00:24:14.000 Yeah, I know.

00:24:15.000 He was Cuban.

00:24:16.000 But he was mad, bro.

00:24:17.000 But fucking...

00:24:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:19.000 They want to try to get married? 0.99

00:24:20.000 Because, you know, they've been fucking with gays with marriage forever. 0.99

00:24:25.000 It's so wrong, man.

00:24:26.000 It's so wrong.

00:24:27.000 Listen, I see it, and it doesn't bother me at all.

00:24:30.000 It's just like everything else.

00:24:33.000 It doesn't bother me at all.

00:24:33.000 There's a certain percentage of society that are just born gay, and there's plenty of them to hang out with each other, and they should be your friends.

00:24:42.000 Yes, Scott.

00:24:43.000 No, the football player.

00:24:44.000 Oh, yes.

00:24:46.000 Scott. That's his first name.

00:24:47.000 Now we've got to work on his last name.

00:24:49.000 God damn it.

00:24:50.000 Scott. Yeah, I need to call somebody.

00:24:53.000 Otherwise, this is...

00:24:54.000 Do you got Matty Kirsch's number?

00:24:55.000 We should call Matty Kirsch.

00:24:56.000 He wouldn't know.

00:24:59.000 That's going to drive me nuts.

00:25:01.000 Somebody from Houston would know.

00:25:02.000 Because I don't want to call somebody online and have to describe him.

00:25:05.000 And then people go, oh, you described Scott.

00:25:07.000 Well, what I was thinking you were saying was Jeff Scott.

00:25:10.000 Jeff Scott from the Comedy Store is another example of a gay guy who was our brother.

00:25:14.000 Brother. He was our brother.

00:25:15.000 That guy.

00:25:15.000 That's it.

00:25:16.000 Scott Kennedy.

00:25:17.000 Scott Kennedy.

00:25:18.000 Look at him with his New Orleans shirt on.

00:25:19.000 Scott Kennedy was awesome.

00:25:21.000 Awesome. Sorry I forgot his name, but he's not around to be embarrassed.

00:25:26.000 How did he die?

00:25:27.000 I don't know.

00:25:28.000 Look at him with Craig Ferguson.

00:25:29.000 He always had football jerseys on.

00:25:31.000 I mean, that guy did not look gay.

00:25:33.000 He looked like a big old football player.

00:25:35.000 You could see him in the backyard smoking a whole hog with a bunch of boys drinking Bud Lights.

00:25:41.000 But here's the problem.

00:25:42.000 Here's what I felt from Scott.

00:25:44.000 Because I met him in Houston, and then we connected in L.A. in like 2000.

00:25:48.000 When he hugged me, I didn't feel threatened.

00:25:50.000 No, not at all.

00:25:51.000 When Jeff Scott hugged me?

00:25:52.000 Never. I never felt that.

00:25:54.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:25:54.000 I have to.

00:25:55.000 Eric Rocha, when he hugs me, the kid at the Comedy Store, I hug him with all my fucking heart.

00:26:01.000 I don't even feel that type of shit.

00:26:02.000 I never felt that.

00:26:04.000 I've only felt that once ever from one comedian.

00:26:06.000 And it was at the Montreal Comedy Festival.

00:26:08.000 And he was drunk.

00:26:09.000 And he wouldn't stop.

00:26:10.000 He kept touching me, too.

00:26:12.000 Kept touching me and telling me he wanted me to take me upstairs.

00:26:15.000 Yeah. That was very unfortunate.

00:26:18.000 Because he was just drunk and...

00:26:20.000 I don't even think he thought I was gay, and I don't even think he thought I would do it.

00:26:24.000 I think he was just trying to make me uncomfortable, you know?

00:26:27.000 But he was definitely, like, last call for alcohol, like, hitting on people, and he was hammered.

00:26:33.000 But I was thinking, like, imagine being a girl, and this is happening, where you fear for your life.

00:26:37.000 Because I threatened him.

00:26:38.000 I said, dude, I'm going to stomp a fucking hole in your chest if you keep doing this.

00:26:42.000 Leave me alone.

00:26:43.000 And that was enough.

00:26:44.000 But if you're a girl, you can't say that.

00:26:46.000 If you're a girl, you've got to go. 1.00

00:26:48.000 Seriously, leave me alone.

00:26:49.000 You got to find authorities.

00:26:51.000 You got to go to the front desk, go to the bar, check out people and say,"Can you guys call the police, please?

00:26:58.000 This guy?

00:26:59.000 I don't want to walk to my car.

00:27:01.000 Can someone walk me to my car?" You got to be worried about that.

00:27:04.000 That sucks.

00:27:05.000 But that's rare with guys.

00:27:09.000 That's happened to me once in 57 years.

00:27:13.000 Where a guy uncomfortably hit on me and wouldn't stop.

00:27:16.000 Well, one other time at the store.

00:27:18.000 But that wasn't as Blake.

00:27:21.000 It was just he kept touching me.

00:27:22.000 Like, stop fucking touching me.

00:27:24.000 You know, there's gay guys that, like, push those limits.

00:27:27.000 Like, if you were a girl and a guy kept putting his hand on your leg, you'd be like, hey, stop doing that.

00:27:33.000 Like, why do you keep grabbing me?

00:27:35.000 Why do you keep touching my body? 0.77

00:27:38.000 Why do you keep touching my legs?

00:27:40.000 That's fucking weird.

00:27:41.000 You're crossing lines, and I don't know what other lines you're thinking about crossing.

00:27:45.000 So let's stop this.

00:27:51.000 But that's not most gay people.

00:27:54.000 I have these friends that I live next to in California.

00:27:57.000 They're gay, and they're super Republican now.

00:28:00.000 It's hilarious.

00:28:01.000 I've followed them on Facebook.

00:28:03.000 They're fucking super Republican now.

00:28:06.000 They're all in against the Dems, how they've ruined California.

00:28:11.000 Because these guys, they're a conservative gay couple.

00:28:13.000 They're married, they got a kid, and they're just like, enough of this.

00:28:18.000 The world is changing, brother.

00:28:20.000 Yeah. Well, that's a good thing that the world is changing.

00:28:23.000 You know, because...

00:28:25.000 Do you know the guy who invented the Turing test?

00:28:30.000 Do you know what the Turing test is?

00:28:31.000 No. His name is Alan Turing.

00:28:34.000 And he's a scientist.

00:28:37.000 He invented a test that they say AI has passed.

00:28:39.000 And this test is where you can talk to a computer and not be able to tell that it's a computer.

00:28:46.000 It behaves like a human.

00:28:48.000 It thinks like a human.

00:28:49.000 It communicates like a human, where it's indiscernible.

00:28:52.000 That's the Turing test.

00:28:53.000 AI has recently passed the Turing test.

00:28:56.000 Well, this guy, he was in England when this happened, right, Jamie?

00:29:01.000 Where they forced him to take medication.

00:29:03.000 He got arrested for being gay in, like, the 1950s.

00:29:06.000 And they forced him to take medication that made him sterile, made him impotent, so he couldn't have sex.

00:29:13.000 Like, they forced him to take, like, hormone blockers that they give to sex offenders.

00:29:18.000 You know, chemical castration, when they do that to sex offenders.

00:29:21.000 And then he killed himself.

00:29:22.000 The guy who invented the method of determining whether or not AI has become sentient gets murdered by dumb apes who don't like that he's gay. 0.99

00:29:32.000 How crazy is that?

00:29:35.000 I'm not fucking that story up, right?

00:29:39.000 I'm pretty sure that's the story.

00:29:41.000 When do they give you blockers to sexual offenders?

00:29:43.000 When do they give you that?

00:29:44.000 Well, they don't always do it, you know, but it's called chemical castration.

00:29:50.000 And by the way, it's the same chemicals, the same drugs that they use on kids when they give them hormone blockers.

00:29:57.000 So when you talk to a, they're talking about a child getting puberty blockers, you know, oh, it's totally reversible.

00:30:04.000 The fuck it is.

00:30:05.000 The fuck it is.

00:30:07.000 That's the same shit.

00:30:08.000 It's chemical castration.

00:30:10.000 It's not reversible.

00:30:11.000 That child is never going to fully develop.

00:30:13.000 If they get on hormone blockers, then when they're 18, they go, you know what?

00:30:16.000 I think I actually am a man.

00:30:17.000 Too late.

00:30:18.000 Too late.

00:30:19.000 Because from 13 to 15, you suppressed your testosterone.

00:30:24.000 Okay, here it is.

00:30:26.000 Turing was later convicted by the advice of his brother and his own solicitor, and he entered a plea of guilty.

00:30:32.000 In the case, Regina v.

00:30:34.000 Turing and Murray was brought to trial on the 31st of March, 1952.

00:30:39.000 Turing was convicted and given a choice between imprisonment and probation.

00:30:42.000 His probation would be conditional on his agreement to undergo hormonal physical changes designed to reduce libido, known as chemical castration.

00:30:51.000 He accepted the option of injections of what was then called Stilbostrol, now known as Dithyl Stilbostrol, or DES, a synthetic ostrogin.

00:31:05.000 Murray was given a conditional discharge.

00:31:24.000 So Murray must have been the guy he was having sex with.

00:31:27.000 That's so crazy, man.

00:31:30.000 Arrested for being gay.

00:31:32.000 1954 at his house.

00:31:34.000 Turing's housekeeper found him dead.

00:31:35.000 Post-mortem was held that evening and determined that he had died from the previous day at age 41 with cyanide poisoning, cited as the cause of death.

00:31:44.000 He had an apple lay half-eaten beside his bed.

00:31:48.000 Although apples not tested for cyanide, it was speculated that this was the means in which Turing had consumed a fatal dose.

00:31:54.000 So he fucking killed himself.

00:31:56.000 Because they chemically castrated him.

00:31:59.000 Founder of computer science and cryptographer, whose work was key to breaking the wartime Enigma codes.

00:32:08.000 So this guy helped the British crack codes.

00:32:13.000 And what'd they do?

00:32:14.000 They injected him with poison so that his dick wouldn't work, so he couldn't fuck guys anymore, which is what he wanted.

00:32:23.000 Imagine if everyone was Gay. 1.00

00:32:26.000 Everyone. And you are straight.

00:32:27.000 And you're like, I don't want any dick.

00:32:28.000 This is crazy.

00:32:30.000 Like, guys keep trying to offer your dick.

00:32:31.000 Like, no, no, no, no.

00:32:32.000 Is there anything else?

00:32:33.000 And then you meet girls like, oh, look, they're so soft and so pretty.

00:32:37.000 That's what I like.

00:32:38.000 I like girls. 1.00

00:32:39.000 And like, no, you don't.

00:32:40.000 No, you're going to take this gay drug until you get that out of your system or we're going to chemically castrate you. 1.00

00:32:46.000 You can't be having sex with girls. 1.00

00:32:48.000 But they're so pretty.

00:32:50.000 They're so lovely to be around.

00:32:52.000 I'm so attracted to them.

00:32:53.000 No. No, no, no.

00:32:55.000 Only guys.

00:32:56.000 That's crazy.

00:32:59.000 That's how stupid these people, especially when you get to serious fundamentalist religions which want to throw them off roofs.

00:33:08.000 This part of the Middle East, they throw them off the roof. 1.00

00:33:10.000 Round up all the gay guys. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Throw them off the roof.

00:33:15.000 And everybody watches and cheers.

00:33:17.000 Yay. Crazy.

00:33:21.000 Like I said, it's a different world out there, my friend.

00:33:23.000 It is a different world out there, but it's the world out there that could be just like the world here.

00:33:27.000 It could go this way here.

00:33:29.000 Like, that's what people don't understand.

00:33:30.000 Just how Los Angeles fell apart.

00:33:31.000 The United States could fall apart, too.

00:33:33.000 You know?

00:33:34.000 Like, look at Iran. 0.99

00:33:35.000 We were looking at Iran the other day in photographs from the 1970s.

00:33:38.000 Girls had miniskirts. 1.00

00:33:39.000 They all look really hot.

00:33:40.000 The guys had no shirts on.

00:33:42.000 Six-packs.

00:33:43.000 Walking down the street.

00:33:44.000 Everyone's smiling.

00:33:45.000 Looks like Europe. 0.68

00:33:46.000 It looks like you're in Italy.

00:33:48.000 And now it's a religious-run country. 0.58

00:33:52.000 It's run by a dictatorship.

00:33:54.000 Like, you criticize the government, they execute you.

00:33:57.000 They executed an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling.

00:34:01.000 Yeah, the UFC even tried to get them to stop.

00:34:04.000 They pleaded to try to get them to stop.

00:34:06.000 They tried to get Trump to get them to, or was it during the Biden administration or the Trump administration?

00:34:11.000 I don't remember, but they tried to get the president to somehow or another talk to Iran and not kill this guy.

00:34:19.000 They killed him because he spoke against the government?

00:34:21.000 Allegedly. But you don't even have to really have spoken against the government.

00:34:25.000 That's what's so scary.

00:34:27.000 You just have to be accused of speaking against the government.

00:34:30.000 I mean, to this day and age, like a friend of mine's Twitter account got hacked.

00:34:35.000 And he got phished.

00:34:36.000 They sent him an email.

00:34:37.000 And he didn't.

00:34:39.000 You know, he's not that sophisticated with that stuff.

00:34:41.000 And so he got phished.

00:34:42.000 And then I heard he got phished.

00:34:45.000 I go to my Twitter, just because I never check my DMs.

00:34:49.000 But I did it just because I knew he got phished.

00:34:51.000 And I went into my DM, and it was him asking me for my email address after he got phished.

00:34:57.000 So I was like, this motherfucker.

00:34:59.000 He's trying to get me now.

00:35:01.000 So someone can easily get your account, or use some sort of code cracker, or figure out your code.

00:35:08.000 Then start posting stuff for you against the government.

00:35:12.000 Especially if you're in Iran.

00:35:14.000 Like, they probably already have all your passcodes for everything over there.

00:35:17.000 They've probably been, like, spying on everybody's computer from the jump.

00:35:21.000 They probably just go to the database.

00:35:22.000 What's Joey Diaz's Facebook password?

00:35:24.000 Okay, post a bunch of shit there about the people in government should all be lined up and shot.

00:35:29.000 They all suck dicks secretly.

00:35:33.000 They're all eating babies.

00:35:35.000 Just make them say something like that, and then let's go round them up.

00:35:38.000 And then, if you don't have any due process, that's the kind of shit that dictators do.

00:35:41.000 They just round you up.

00:35:44.000 Wow. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter.

00:35:48.000 It's not always fun to talk numbers.

00:35:50.000 I get it.

00:35:51.000 But it can be useful.

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00:37:05.000 Post jobs today.

00:37:07.000 Talk to qualified candidates tomorrow.

00:37:10.000 Don't get scared of the shit out of me.

00:37:11.000 We were talking about this the other day, about Ukraine and Russia.

00:37:14.000 He's like, you know, there's people in Russia that are just in Russia because they tweeted against the government.

00:37:18.000 And you know what they do with those people?

00:37:20.000 They put them in prison.

00:37:21.000 And you know what happens when the war breaks out?

00:37:22.000 They give them the option.

00:37:24.000 Like, you could either be in jail forever, or you can go fight in the war.

00:37:28.000 And so they go to the front line, and they get killed by American weapons.

00:37:32.000 Guys who are tweeting against Putin.

00:37:34.000 It's like, you can use it to get rid of his political enemies.

00:37:38.000 Crazy. And this is all while you and I, at the same time, hanging out in Boston, or hanging out in Austin, rather, eating barbecue.

00:37:48.000 You know?

00:37:48.000 Like, it could go that way here, too.

00:37:50.000 Just like it went that way in Iran, it could go that way in the United States.

00:37:53.000 Just like L.A. fell apart.

00:37:55.000 L.A. 20 years ago was amazing.

00:37:58.000 Amazing. You remember L.A. in 2005?

00:38:00.000 We were having the time of our lives.

00:38:03.000 96, 97. Oh, my God.

00:38:05.000 We were having the time of our lives.

00:38:06.000 The restaurants were great.

00:38:08.000 There was music playing everywhere.

00:38:10.000 It was fun.

00:38:11.000 There was a lot of great comedy.

00:38:12.000 We had a good group of guys we were all hanging out with.

00:38:15.000 L.A. was great.

00:38:16.000 Yeah, there was still some traffic, but...

00:38:18.000 You know, the weather was great.

00:38:20.000 People were generally pretty nice.

00:38:22.000 A lot nicer than they were on the East Coast.

00:38:24.000 It's not even the same place anymore.

00:38:27.000 And that can happen anywhere.

00:38:29.000 That can happen in the United States.

00:38:30.000 If something terrible happens in the United States, new laws get passed, new restrictions, that can happen anywhere.

00:38:36.000 That's why I talk about it so much.

00:38:37.000 People are like, why do you obsess about it so much?

00:38:39.000 Because you need to be paying attention.

00:38:41.000 Because when it's too late, when they've already got complete control of what you can say on social media, And they got you locked down.

00:38:49.000 You're in trouble.

00:38:51.000 You're in trouble.

00:38:52.000 Because so many other things are coming that they're aware of.

00:38:55.000 And the big one is automation.

00:38:59.000 Joey, when automation comes, and this is what Andrew Yang was kind of running on when he was running for president.

00:39:05.000 And I had him in and it was a very interesting conversation because it was something that I hadn't considered.

00:39:09.000 That all these jobs are gone.

00:39:13.000 You know there's parts of the world like there's ports in China now where it's a hundred percent controlled by robots There's a few people that run around do maintenance and stuff, but everything screens Everything is super efficient.

00:39:25.000 These robots pick up the packages.

00:39:27.000 They make an inventory of everything's in there.

00:39:30.000 Everything gets logged into the computer they Put it into these trucks And before you know it, they're going to have electric trucks that drive themselves.

00:39:38.000 That's why the strike happened in Jersey, all over with the Teamsters, with the Longshoremen.

00:39:42.000 Yes. Because they know it.

00:39:43.000 They don't have much left.

00:39:45.000 They don't have much time left.

00:39:46.000 They don't have much time left.

00:39:47.000 It's fucking crazy how industry has just dwindled in this country.

00:39:52.000 I know.

00:39:53.000 You know, and Americans really don't see that.

00:39:55.000 See, because everybody's fucking into traveling and being cool.

00:39:59.000 The gift that I had from doing comedy was I really got to see the country.

00:40:03.000 I really got to see the ins and outs.

00:40:05.000 And when I was a feature actor, I would ask questions.

00:40:07.000 You know, like when you don't sit in a hotel all day and you just go out and you go to a movie theater and you ask questions.

00:40:13.000 And people tell you, oh my God, that's a great restaurant.

00:40:15.000 Go there.

00:40:16.000 You know, you look at cities like Cleveland.

00:40:19.000 Okay, I don't know if a lot of people know this.

00:40:21.000 20 years ago, with all the jokes and shit, Cleveland had more Puerto Ricans than New York City. 1.00

00:40:27.000 Really? Because there was a fucking car plant there.

00:40:30.000 Oh. And they were building cars there.

00:40:32.000 You know, I remember being a fucking kid and going to Detroit for a basketball tournament or something stupid and seeing that city.

00:40:38.000 It was 1976, 77. That city was fucking booming.

00:40:42.000 Detroit was one of the richest cities in the world.

00:40:44.000 Booming. It was the murder capital at the time.

00:40:46.000 Was it still?

00:40:47.000 Even back then?

00:40:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:49.000 Because when I met my buddy in the 80s, he was from Detroit.

00:40:51.000 It was the murder capital.

00:40:52.000 But 75, 76, that city was booming, bro.

00:40:55.000 Yeah. You know.

00:40:56.000 Buffalo, New York, booming.

00:40:59.000 Fisher-Price, all these other companies left.

00:41:01.000 You know, that's what I saw.

00:41:04.000 Cleveland, Pittsburgh.

00:41:05.000 Yeah. Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh Steel!

00:41:08.000 Yep. I went to Pittsburgh two years ago, half the shit was closed down, brother.

00:41:13.000 Yep. You know?

00:41:14.000 Youngstown, same thing, Youngstown.

00:41:17.000 What? It was downtown Pittsburgh, like just around that area.

00:41:20.000 No, but Youngstown was like that too, right?

00:41:22.000 Was it?

00:41:22.000 Youngstown was a much better environment than it is now.

00:41:25.000 I believe.

00:41:26.000 Tony told me.

00:41:27.000 They have destroyed those parts of the country.

00:41:30.000 Now, I don't know what happened in Nebraska.

00:41:32.000 They could have had their own problems in Wyoming.

00:41:34.000 I just know that little stretch.

00:41:36.000 Buffalo, Cleveland, you know, fucking Cincinnati.

00:41:40.000 All those towns that were booming have just disappeared.

00:41:44.000 They got gutted.

00:41:45.000 All the jobs went overseas.

00:41:46.000 So if you're going to bring this country back, it's got to start with that.

00:41:50.000 We got to go back to that, to make us strong again.

00:41:53.000 Yeah, we're going to have to fucking sweat it out for 10 months.

00:41:56.000 But you know what?

00:41:57.000 10 years ago, I fucking was getting those $100 a day movies, and I said, I'm not doing them anymore.

00:42:02.000 For a year, I didn't work as an actor.

00:42:04.000 Then finally, I got a high-scale movie, because I kept saying no to the low movies.

00:42:08.000 That's how you lift up a little bit.

00:42:10.000 That's how you bump up, by just saying fucking no.

00:42:13.000 We didn't want to do this all of a sudden, and we need to do this.

00:42:16.000 We need to get this country hopping again.

00:42:18.000 Well, the problem is they gave corporations an opportunity to make more money at the sacrifice of all those jobs in America.

00:42:27.000 And the problem with corporations is they have an obligation to constantly make more money.

00:42:32.000 And labor. 0.69

00:42:33.000 Yeah. But no, but that's the way you make more money is by having no labor. 1.00

00:42:37.000 No labor.

00:42:37.000 And not just that, no health insurance.

00:42:39.000 This is, you know, Ron, not Ron Paul.

00:42:44.000 What's his name?

00:42:45.000 Ross Perot.

00:42:46.000 Ross Perot talked about that.

00:42:48.000 We were talking about it with Ron White the other day.

00:42:50.000 That he was explaining that if you change these regulations and make it cheaper and easier for these people to go and make...

00:42:55.000 He said, you're going to hear a giant sucking sound as all the businesses go south.

00:43:00.000 And that's exactly what happened.

00:43:01.000 That's exactly what happened.

00:43:02.000 And he called that in the 1990s.

00:43:04.000 That was my boy.

00:43:04.000 Yeah, I voted for him.

00:43:06.000 I love Ross Perot.

00:43:07.000 Always did.

00:43:08.000 Always. That's a real fucking American right there. 0.74

00:43:11.000 He was.

00:43:11.000 They threatened him, dude.

00:43:12.000 They threatened his family.

00:43:15.000 He was going to run again a second time, and he said he's not going to do it because his family was under threat that he considered serious.

00:43:23.000 He was dangerous because he could ruin the election.

00:43:28.000 Bush, they thought, was going to win a second term.

00:43:30.000 But Ross Perot came along, and conservative people that didn't really want to believe in the Republican Party anymore, they're like, this party's just as full of shit as the left.

00:43:37.000 They saw this Ross Perot guy and they went, oh, okay.

00:43:41.000 He took a considerable amount of the vote and most of it would be against what Herbert Walker Bush would have got.

00:43:48.000 And then Clinton came along and fucking wasn't even supposed to win that year. 1.00

00:43:51.000 Bam! Now he's in.

00:43:52.000 Let's go!

00:43:53.000 Remember. They're paying for this with your money.

00:43:56.000 I'm paying for this with my money.

00:43:58.000 Exactly. That was his fucking classic shit.

00:44:00.000 Yeah. That was hysterical.

00:44:02.000 Do you remember when he had that half-hour show on TV where he explained how the Federal Reserve works?

00:44:07.000 I don't remember that.

00:44:08.000 Yeah, he bought a half-hour of regular primetime TV to explain to people how you're getting fucked.

00:44:18.000 He's explaining all the scams that are being run on you that you don't know about, and this is why I'm running for president.

00:44:24.000 I'm like, whoa, look at this guy.

00:44:27.000 That guy fucking did something that a lot of people don't know.

00:44:32.000 His employees got kidnapped in Iran, and he went in there and took them out, and he hired like a Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now to train his employees.

00:44:43.000 Really? Yeah, he was a retired colonel, some badass Vietnam. 0.97

00:44:46.000 So was his actual employees that went and got him out?

00:44:49.000 Yeah, that's the story.

00:44:50.000 He made his employees.

00:44:53.000 We're a family.

00:44:55.000 Whoa. We're going on.

00:44:56.000 And he made a promise to the people's families that he would have them back by Christmas, and he had them back by Christmas.

00:45:01.000 Wow. And Kissinger kept giving him fucking a hard time.

00:45:05.000 A bunch of people kept giving him a hard time.

00:45:07.000 He did not give a fuck.

00:45:08.000 He goes, I'm doing it.

00:45:09.000 I gave those people my word.

00:45:10.000 His word was word, dog.

00:45:13.000 How much money was he worth?

00:45:15.000 Billions. Yeah, he was a billionaire.

00:45:18.000 Back then?

00:45:19.000 In the 90s already?

00:45:20.000 I believe so.

00:45:21.000 How much money was Ross Perot worth?

00:45:25.000 Yeah. Which back then, so 1990 billionaire, it's probably like, it's probably just double the billions, whatever it is.

00:45:33.000 Probably something like that.

00:45:34.000 Or maybe triple the billions.

00:45:35.000 Did he get oil money?

00:45:36.000 At the time, in 92, he was the 13th wealthiest man in America, net worth around $4 billion.

00:45:41.000 So what is $4 billion from that time worth today?

00:45:45.000 Let's guess.

00:45:46.000 $8 billion.

00:45:47.000 $8? Yeah.

00:45:49.000 I'm going to say $9.

00:45:53.000 I might be way off, though.

00:45:55.000 I'm completely guessing.

00:45:59.000 Just under $7.

00:46:01.000 Yeah. We're both wrong.

00:46:04.000 That's a lot of money, though.

00:46:05.000 Still, it's almost double.

00:46:09.000 Doug, what about the chief of police in my hometown and the shit on his desk?

00:46:12.000 Yeah, why'd he do that?

00:46:13.000 I don't know.

00:46:18.000 Was he proving a point?

00:46:19.000 What was up with that?

00:46:20.000 You know, man, I heard he's a good dude, but he's a prankster.

00:46:23.000 Oh! He's like a prankster type of dude.

00:46:26.000 So he's like Ari Shaffir?

00:46:27.000 Yeah, he sends, like, packages to your house.

00:46:30.000 He's one of those dudes, you know?

00:46:32.000 And, uh, I don't know.

00:46:35.000 I guarantee he was like a joke and it just blew up.

00:46:37.000 Now it's Nashville.

00:46:38.000 Now you got nowhere to go.

00:46:40.000 Oh my god.

00:46:41.000 Did you see what Ari did once?

00:46:43.000 We shoved a note up his ass and he shit it out on stage and read it.

00:46:45.000 Oh.

00:46:52.000 Look at your face!

00:46:56.000 I don't want nobody to read a note out of their ass.

00:46:59.000 I don't want you shitting in the room with me.

00:47:01.000 What kind of parasites and bugs?

00:47:03.000 No, he's got hemorrhoids.

00:47:05.000 He's got...

00:47:05.000 All sorts of stuff is flying through the air.

00:47:07.000 Every breath you breathe is Ari's shit gas flying around. 1.00

00:47:11.000 He's a fucking nut.

00:47:13.000 He's so crazy.

00:47:14.000 He has not stopped at all.

00:47:17.000 Like, it is not ending.

00:47:18.000 No. I'm going to his thing next week.

00:47:20.000 He's never growing up.

00:47:21.000 No, no, he's never growing up.

00:47:22.000 It's not happening.

00:47:24.000 But he's getting married, right?

00:47:25.000 Have you gotten married or something like that?

00:47:26.000 He's already married.

00:47:27.000 Yeah, I'm going to go to his party and shit.

00:47:31.000 I don't even know what the fuck it is.

00:47:34.000 It's going to be a fucking carnival of psychopaths.

00:47:38.000 Dog, I was telling you the other night, I got really fucking high.

00:47:41.000 I got home and I couldn't sleep.

00:47:43.000 And I started watching old fights.

00:47:45.000 I even watched a Pepino Cuevas fight.

00:47:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:49.000 That dude was fast.

00:47:50.000 Yeah, he was good.

00:47:51.000 He was good.

00:47:52.000 And I watched.

00:47:52.000 You ever see him versus Tommy Hearns?

00:47:54.000 No. See if you can find Pepino Cuevas versus Tommy Hearns.

00:47:59.000 I'm 90% sure that's who I'm talking about.

00:48:02.000 Pepino Cuevas was, I think, a little thinner of a guy.

00:48:05.000 Wasn't he at 47?

00:48:07.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

00:48:09.000 Thomas Hearns was at 47. Yes.

00:48:11.000 He started his career at 47 and went all the way up to light heavyweight.

00:48:15.000 Yeah, Pepino Cuevas versus Tommy Hearns.

00:48:17.000 One of the most memorable moments of the early days of Tommy Hearns' like...

00:48:25.000 When he was at the peak of his powers.

00:48:28.000 Tommy Hearns was nuking people, man.

00:48:30.000 Just nuking people.

00:48:33.000 He had such a reach and such width for 45. He was such a physical freak.

00:48:40.000 And he was big, but he had long and skinny, but crazy power.

00:48:45.000 Which, generally, thin guys don't have...

00:48:48.000 The same kind of power is like the muscular guys, but Tommy Hearns was kind of like Deontay Wilder.

00:48:54.000 He was both thin and muscular at the same time.

00:48:57.000 And, you know, real skinny legs, man.

00:48:59.000 But my God, the fucking torque that guy had in his punches.

00:49:03.000 You got to think of the leverage because his shoulders are so wide.

00:49:06.000 So when he twists his hips and he's got those long arms coming you with all those fucking back muscles and the core engaged, fucking balam!

00:49:15.000 Hey, Balam, when was the last time there was a fight like this in Detroit?

00:49:20.000 Well, Tommy's from Detroit.

00:49:21.000 No, no, but I'm saying, they don't even have fights like this in Detroit.

00:49:24.000 They're so poor now.

00:49:25.000 Was this in Detroit?

00:49:26.000 Yeah. Oh, wow.

00:49:28.000 Well, that's Tommy's hometown, you know?

00:49:32.000 He was hunting people.

00:49:33.000 You ever see him knock out Roberto Duran?

00:49:35.000 I watched it.

00:49:36.000 That's what I was watching.

00:49:37.000 I watched.

00:49:37.000 Listen to the triple feature I watched.

00:49:39.000 I watched Duran, Hagler.

00:49:43.000 Hagler. Oh!

00:49:44.000 Back that up a sec.

00:49:46.000 Back that up a sec.

00:49:46.000 Look, he's measuring him with his left.

00:49:48.000 Watch this.

00:49:48.000 He's measuring him.

00:49:51.000 And watch this.

00:49:52.000 Boom! Holy shit.

00:49:54.000 Oh my goodness, son.

00:49:56.000 Holy shit.

00:49:57.000 Oh my goodness.

00:49:59.000 Oh my goodness.

00:50:00.000 That Tommy Hearns.

00:50:02.000 That kind of power was crazy.

00:50:06.000 Yeah, you better stop that fight. 0.96

00:50:08.000 My goodness.

00:50:10.000 Tommy Harris, he was a one-hitter quitter.

00:50:14.000 He faceplanted Roberto Duran.

00:50:18.000 What a crazy fight.

00:50:21.000 The crazy thing about that fight is they did not box at all.

00:50:26.000 They went to war.

00:50:27.000 There was no boxing, slipping, there was no fainting.

00:50:32.000 Marvin Haggard just said, fuck you, and ran at him.

00:50:37.000 He just ran at him and just fucking just started smashing.

00:50:43.000 It was non-stop.

00:50:44.000 Yeah. He got hit hard, too.

00:50:45.000 It was non-fucking-stop.

00:50:47.000 Tommy broke his hand in the first round.

00:50:51.000 So in the first round, when they first come out of the gate...

00:50:54.000 Yeah, the greatest round of boxing.

00:50:55.000 Look at this shit.

00:50:56.000 Yep. God, Hagler was good.

00:51:00.000 He's another one who died right after the vaccine.

00:51:03.000 Look at this.

00:51:04.000 Right away.

00:51:05.000 Right hook.

00:51:05.000 To the body.

00:51:06.000 Just charging.

00:51:07.000 Charging forward.

00:51:09.000 Charging forward.

00:51:10.000 Fuck this.

00:51:11.000 Fuck this boxing on the outside.

00:51:12.000 I'm trying to get in there.

00:51:13.000 Boom. To the body again.

00:51:16.000 Boom. Right hand.

00:51:18.000 Boom. Just going to fucking war, dude.

00:51:21.000 Right here.

00:51:22.000 I mean, high profile.

00:51:24.000 Two world champions completely throwing it all out the window.

00:51:28.000 Just wailing on each other.

00:51:33.000 Holy shit, Joe.

00:51:34.000 Boom, left hand! 1.00

00:51:36.000 Boom, boom! 0.98

00:51:40.000 The thing about Hagler was his discipline was fucking supreme, man.

00:51:45.000 That guy never got out of shape.

00:51:47.000 He always could break guys, break their will.

00:51:50.000 Boom, boom, boom! 0.95

00:51:52.000 So by this time, Tommy probably already has a broken hand.

00:51:56.000 So he broke it on Hagler's head somewhere in the first.

00:51:59.000 So now he's throwing the jab.

00:52:00.000 So I bet his hand's already broken.

00:52:02.000 See? It's all left hands now.

00:52:04.000 He threw that right hand, but he was weak.

00:52:06.000 You know?

00:52:06.000 He didn't really hurt him with the right hand.

00:52:08.000 He's like pulling it back as he's throwing it.

00:52:12.000 See? He's just trying to touch him with that right hand.

00:52:14.000 That left hand is all he's got left.

00:52:16.000 His right hand is cooked.

00:52:21.000 And Hearns has decided to start moving and boxing, which is not like his style.

00:52:28.000 See, like, even when he's landing that right hand, he's got no power behind it now.

00:52:35.000 And Sugar Ray Leonard is talking shit in the commentary.

00:52:38.000 Both fighters are unbalanced.

00:52:40.000 Watch for Hagler's hook.

00:52:41.000 Now that was the right hand of Tommy Hearns, and it did catch Hagler, but he didn't take a backward step there.

00:52:48.000 Hagler could take a shot, too, better than anybody.

00:52:51.000 He only has one knockdown accredited to him his entire career, but it wasn't a knockdown.

00:52:56.000 He fought Juan Roldan, and Juan Roldan kind of cuffed him in the back of the neck and pushed him forward, and Hagler fell forward and touched the ground, and the referee mistakenly called it a knockdown.

00:53:08.000 The only time he's ever been down.

00:53:09.000 Took bombs from the greatest punchers in the division, beat everybody except Sugar Ray, and I think the only reason why he lost to Sugar Ray was, I think the fix was in that fight, son.

00:53:20.000 I watched that fight many times.

00:53:22.000 Many times.

00:53:22.000 Yeah, there's something about it.

00:53:24.000 Something about it.

00:53:25.000 And then Hagler leaves and goes to become a movie star in Italy?

00:53:30.000 Come on.

00:53:31.000 And his trainers are the Petronelli brothers in Brockton, Massachusetts?

00:53:35.000 Come on.

00:53:36.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:53:37.000 You know how much money was on Hagler to win, probably?

00:53:41.000 You know?

00:53:41.000 It was probably some sort of a deal.

00:53:43.000 Like, look, the odds are very favorable in Hagler's direction, and we can get a bet on Leonard.

00:53:48.000 We can clean up here.

00:53:50.000 Marvin to just like, you know, don't put him away.

00:53:55.000 Just touch him a little bit.

00:53:56.000 Touch him.

00:53:57.000 He never has him hurt.

00:53:58.000 Never has him hurt in the whole fight.

00:54:00.000 Just, he was so good.

00:54:02.000 I just, he didn't seem right.

00:54:04.000 It seemed like almost he was like sparring sometimes.

00:54:07.000 Hard to say, though.

00:54:08.000 Sugar Ray was so good, too.

00:54:11.000 The guy could come back after all those years off.

00:54:14.000 You know, he had one fight, got dropped, said he was retiring, and then comes back.

00:54:19.000 And decides he's gonna fight Hagler.

00:54:21.000 And then he wins.

00:54:23.000 And then Hagler's like, I'm done.

00:54:24.000 I'm done.

00:54:25.000 I'm gonna go to Italy and make terrible movies.

00:54:30.000 You ever see those Marvin Hagler movies?

00:54:32.000 No. Oh, you gotta see some clips!

00:54:34.000 No. Joey, they're the dumbest movies of all time.

00:54:36.000 Hagler punches people, they go flying through the air.

00:54:39.000 No, I'm not watching them.

00:54:40.000 I love Marvin Hagler too much.

00:54:42.000 No, they're fun!

00:54:43.000 Look, he was having a good time.

00:54:46.000 I bet he was a huge star in Italy.

00:54:49.000 But that, to me, it's like everything seems fishy.

00:54:54.000 The fight seemed fishy to me.

00:54:55.000 The decision seemed fishy to me.

00:54:58.000 And then Hagler goes off and becomes a movie star, and I go, okay.

00:55:02.000 In Italy?

00:55:03.000 How does that happen?

00:55:04.000 How do you get connected?

00:55:06.000 How does that happen?

00:55:08.000 Look how bad this movie is.

00:55:09.000 Look how bad this movie is.

00:55:14.000 The world has to know what's happening here.

00:55:16.000 It's the thrill-packed feature action fans are waiting for.

00:55:19.000 I want those Indios. 1.00

00:55:22.000 Marvelous Marvin Hagler returns from the original Indio.

00:55:25.000 Indio 2, The Revolt.

00:55:28.000 The jungle is shrinking.

00:55:30.000 He's here to build a highway for a jungle.

00:55:32.000 It's paid by the mind.

00:55:34.000 And greed is spreading.

00:55:36.000 You had better start praying to your God that we finish the highway before the rainy season.

00:55:39.000 Here, only one man is mean enough.

00:55:42.000 I know many of us may die.

00:55:44.000 But it is better to die than to live like slaves.

00:55:48.000 Mad enough.

00:55:48.000 Tell them the days of running and hiding are over.

00:55:51.000 This is your land.

00:55:54.000 Will you lead us, my friend?

00:55:57.000 Sometimes. It's hilarious.

00:56:00.000 I honestly want Italian.

00:56:02.000 There's not one fucking Italian. 1.00

00:56:04.000 That guy.

00:56:05.000 That guy.

00:56:06.000 That guy with his mustache.

00:56:07.000 That was Sergio.

00:56:09.000 I gotta be in this movie.

00:56:10.000 You hit me with a left hand.

00:56:12.000 Come on.

00:56:13.000 I got one scene.

00:56:15.000 Hilarious. Wow.

00:56:18.000 I didn't even know that shit.

00:56:19.000 Yeah. That guy was my hero when I was a kid.

00:56:21.000 And they didn't even make him like a shaft or anything.

00:56:23.000 They made him go into like the fucking...

00:56:25.000 Italian movies.

00:56:27.000 It's an Italian movie.

00:56:29.000 They made him in Italy.

00:56:31.000 There's a lot of movies being made in Italy.

00:56:33.000 That's why they call those spaghetti westerns, right?

00:56:35.000 You know that.

00:56:35.000 Did you ever hear of those stories, like how interesting that is?

00:56:39.000 The Sergio Leone movies?

00:56:40.000 Well, I just saw something about it, maybe eight months ago.

00:56:43.000 There's a thing on Channel 11 in Jersey on Saturdays called I Am.

00:56:48.000 And every week they have somebody else on it.

00:56:50.000 And it's brilliant, Joe.

00:56:52.000 I Am Bruce Lee, I Am This, I Am That.

00:56:55.000 It's just brilliant.

00:56:57.000 And they had, what were we just talking about?

00:57:00.000 Marvin Hagler.

00:57:01.000 No. They had an IM about somebody.

00:57:04.000 Oh! Clint Eastwood.

00:57:06.000 Clint Eastwood.

00:57:06.000 And it was how he would go and shoot the movies, and then they would send him the films, and he'd have to do ADR in L.A. Oh, really?

00:57:13.000 Fucking interesting shit.

00:57:15.000 I didn't know anything about this stuff.

00:57:17.000 So why did he have to do ADR?

00:57:18.000 So ADR, what does that stand for?

00:57:20.000 ADR when you put your voice on.

00:57:22.000 What does it stand for, though?

00:57:23.000 Automated Dialogue Replacement.

00:57:24.000 Thank you, audio engineer.

00:57:26.000 When he shot the movies, he was just talking.

00:57:29.000 Right. So then when he'd get them after they'd...

00:57:31.000 Put them together, he would lay the American in them. 0.86

00:57:34.000 Oh, I see.

00:57:35.000 And now, you know, he would send them back, and they would send them back.

00:57:39.000 So when he shot the movies, he wasn't even speaking?

00:57:41.000 He had to speak over it?

00:57:42.000 Over it or something, yeah.

00:57:44.000 Wow. Because, wow, they probably had it dubbed in Italian.

00:57:49.000 But you've got to remember, all the, that, listen, I'm a big fan of that era of movies.

00:57:53.000 That's my era of movies.

00:57:55.000 Those people.

00:57:57.000 And, you know, I watched the other night.

00:57:59.000 You haven't seen this movie in 30 fucking years.

00:58:02.000 None of years.

00:58:03.000 When you put it on, you're going to shit.

00:58:04.000 What? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

00:58:06.000 I haven't seen that in forever.

00:58:08.000 Dog, they got seven stars in that movie.

00:58:10.000 Like you and Babbitt, Charlie Babbitt, Martini, fucking the guy from Jersey, what's his name that was in Taxi, a little guy, he's still around.

00:58:19.000 Oh, Danny DeVito was in that?

00:58:20.000 Danny DeVito was in that, dog.

00:58:21.000 Really? Fucking a dude with the big head.

00:58:23.000 Look at the fucking cast on this.

00:58:25.000 Christopher Lloyd.

00:58:26.000 Wow. Will Sampson.

00:58:29.000 Oh, that's the dude!

00:58:30.000 That's our boy.

00:58:31.000 The Outlaw Josie Wales.

00:58:32.000 These are my words of life.

00:58:34.000 Yeah, that's Chief.

00:58:35.000 How the fuck?

00:58:36.000 He made three movies.

00:58:37.000 This, Outlaw Josie Wales, and fucking some other movie. 1.00

00:58:42.000 He was in three fucking brilliant movies, that dude.

00:58:45.000 Yeah, that guy was in a lot of movies.

00:58:46.000 Bro, this movie is fucking hilarious.

00:58:54.000 They'll make a bit of sense to me.

00:58:57.000 This will never happen again.

00:59:02.000 That guy, by the way, is a normal guy in today's society.

00:59:05.000 Who? Jack Nicholson.

00:59:07.000 Yeah. You couldn't ever get him into mental health.

00:59:09.000 He'd be like, this guy's fine.

00:59:10.000 Let him out.

00:59:13.000 Like, there's more fucked up guys right now than that guy that are tending bar on 6th Street right now.

00:59:20.000 And this movie starts politically incorrect.

00:59:22.000 Like, they couldn't make this today like this.

00:59:24.000 No. And I'm surprised they haven't tried to remake this movie.

00:59:28.000 Well, you know, the guy who made Home Alone said that he wanted to cut Trump out of the scene, but he's worried that he'd get sent in prison if he did it.

00:59:43.000 Because he keeps getting aggravated.

00:59:45.000 People annoy him.

00:59:46.000 I think they cut it out of it in Canada.

00:59:48.000 I think the Canadian version of...

00:59:50.000 Is it Home Alone 2?

00:59:52.000 Yeah, Home Alone 2. You know how many TV shows Trump did over the years?

00:59:56.000 I've seen them once a fucking month on Sunday.

00:59:58.000 They have to say that.

00:59:59.000 No, I get it.

01:00:00.000 It's part of their liberal identity.

01:00:02.000 They have to be united.

01:00:05.000 But, like, I was telling you that the people that I grew up liking, and so do you, that's what I liked about them.

01:00:11.000 That they had to go somewhere else to become stars.

01:00:16.000 And when they came back to the United States, they were like, we're fucking you in the ass now.

01:00:23.000 That's Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, not as much.

01:00:29.000 He just wanted to fuck everybody in the ass.

01:00:31.000 You know, Steve McQueen was just like, you're sucking my dick either way.

01:00:35.000 I'm doing what I want.

01:00:36.000 They don't even have that.

01:00:38.000 The worst thing we've had in Hollywood in 20 years is when Brad Pitt made the movie with Angelina Jolie and he never came back.

01:00:46.000 Poor Jennifer Aniston was waiting with flowers and slippers. 1.00

01:00:49.000 That motherfucker never came back.

01:00:50.000 She's a temptress. 1.00

01:00:52.000 The first one was when Steve McQueen took that girl from the head of fucking...

01:00:58.000 Oh, yes.

01:00:59.000 And then did a movie under his fucking nose.

01:01:01.000 That is something that they will cancel you.

01:01:04.000 They couldn't do nothing to him.

01:01:05.000 Well, he was one of the rare movie stars back then.

01:01:08.000 They couldn't do anything to him.

01:01:09.000 When there's an actual movie star in 1979, there's not a lot of those people.

01:01:15.000 You need them to sell tickets.

01:01:16.000 People don't know new people.

01:01:18.000 They're not online.

01:01:20.000 You've got to know, oh, it's a Steve McQueen movie, and you go see it.

01:01:25.000 Who's the star of the movie?

01:01:26.000 I never heard of the guy.

01:01:27.000 Fuck this movie.

01:01:28.000 Oh, look over here.

01:01:30.000 There's a Clint Eastwood movie.

01:01:31.000 Let's go to see that.

01:01:32.000 Like, stars were everything back then.

01:01:34.000 Everything back then.

01:01:34.000 Everything. It's interesting because some great movies now don't have any stars in them.

01:01:40.000 Like Mel Gibson when he made Apocalypto.

01:01:42.000 You don't know anybody in that movie.

01:01:43.000 That's a great movie.

01:01:44.000 It's a great movie.

01:01:45.000 Great movie.

01:01:45.000 And you don't know anybody in that movie.

01:01:47.000 It's perfect.

01:01:48.000 It's perfect because you really believe the characters that way.

01:01:50.000 I don't have to go, oh, it's Robert Downey Jr.

01:01:52.000 Oh, he's doing a great job pretending to be that scientist.

01:01:54.000 No, no, it's some guy that might actually be a scientist, you know?

01:02:00.000 I don't know, but no, they didn't do anything to Steve McQueen.

01:02:03.000 Charles Bronson, same way.

01:02:04.000 He was a prick on those movie sets.

01:02:06.000 They wanted everything.

01:02:07.000 They took everything, Joe.

01:02:09.000 It just came up.

01:02:10.000 We discussed it last time.

01:02:11.000 They just got released as Steve McQueen writers.

01:02:14.000 From his movies?

01:02:15.000 The Riders, yeah.

01:02:17.000 Riders are different.

01:02:18.000 For people that don't know, that means like all the things that you get when you're on the set.

01:02:22.000 Like you can say, I want M&Ms in my green room.

01:02:25.000 I want, you know, Pick Floyd albums, whatever.

01:02:28.000 Fucking insane.

01:02:29.000 Yeah. His was insane.

01:02:31.000 His suits had to be a certain cut.

01:02:33.000 They had to cost a certain way.

01:02:35.000 Well, he ain't worried, it's Steve McQueen.

01:02:37.000 Some comics have that kind of shit, where you have to have size 11 Jordans waiting for them backstage. 0.92

01:02:41.000 Yeah, but you pay for it.

01:02:42.000 Comics are like, yeah, I'm not going in there until I got my size 12s.

01:02:47.000 You pay for it.

01:02:47.000 What's the big deal?

01:02:48.000 Well, yeah, they gave me some sneakers.

01:02:50.000 No, you didn't.

01:02:50.000 You bought those sneakers, stupid.

01:02:52.000 It comes out of the price.

01:02:53.000 Yeah, they think that, oh, they bought me sneakers because I'm special and shit.

01:02:56.000 Yeah, but I think it's a thing where you want to feel like you're being taken care of.

01:03:01.000 Right, yeah, even though you're paying for it.

01:03:02.000 Fuck that.

01:03:03.000 I'll bring my own sneakers.

01:03:04.000 Yeah, I'll bring my own sneakers.

01:03:05.000 I'm going to show up and there's a box of sneakers.

01:03:06.000 Oh, you got me white sneakers.

01:03:08.000 I'm not going to perform because that shit started happening.

01:03:11.000 Oh, really?

01:03:11.000 Yeah, people were like, I want black Jordan.

01:03:14.000 And all of a sudden they're white. 0.72

01:03:15.000 I ain't getting on stage until I get my black Jordan.

01:03:17.000 Now they gotta run around town.

01:03:19.000 I've heard people turn limos back.

01:03:22.000 Yes. Back in the day because it was the wrong color limo.

01:03:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:03:24.000 I ordered a white limo.

01:03:26.000 What is this bullshit?

01:03:27.000 And who fucking drove you when you lived under that fucking bridge?

01:03:30.000 Just getting a goddamn fucking car, cocksucker. 1.00

01:03:33.000 People love making demands, right?

01:03:36.000 Like, it has to be this way.

01:03:37.000 Or that's it, I walk.

01:03:39.000 People love making demands.

01:03:41.000 And that's what happens in that fucking town in Hollywood.

01:03:44.000 And people go, okay, no, go fuck yourself.

01:03:46.000 You want that?

01:03:47.000 Bring it yourself.

01:03:48.000 And once you start doing that, listen, I understood what you said before about Austin, and it makes sense to me now.

01:03:55.000 It's like the day I took my daughter to school, and there was moms hugging trees in Studio City crying.

01:04:01.000 If I was a redneck, I'd show up with a shotgun that day and just shoot it and watch those moms just fly. 1.00

01:04:07.000 That's where the guns keep the liberals in check. 0.99

01:04:09.000 Okay? That's when you come in and go, you want to hug trees?

01:04:13.000 Boom! And fucking start shooting off cats. 0.92

01:04:15.000 Dog, they were hugging trees.

01:04:17.000 Right in front of the school, my daughter and Bert's went.

01:04:19.000 Why were they hugging trees?

01:04:20.000 Because they were going to cut the trees down.

01:04:22.000 We went to the school and the cops were there and women were hugging the trees, holding each other's hands. 0.73

01:04:28.000 Crying. This is why I had to get the fuck out of there.

01:04:32.000 Crying. And that's where a guy with a gun would have been perfect.

01:04:37.000 A big fucking gun.

01:04:39.000 You guys like trees so much.

01:04:41.000 Boom! And those bitches would have been running to that fucking coffee shop. 1.00

01:04:45.000 Crying. They didn't know what happened.

01:04:47.000 Fuck those trees, Jack.

01:04:49.000 That's what you need.

01:04:50.000 A gun in California to tell these motherfuckers, shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:04:54.000 You go on Facebook now and I see people I used to hang with in California and they're talking about other people and everybody's so talented and everything's so gracious and to work with such a great bunch of talented individuals.

01:05:06.000 Thank God they've let my creative juices work.

01:05:09.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:05:13.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:05:15.000 What are you talking about?

01:05:16.000 I ain't to smack you now or smack you later.

01:05:19.000 It is, it's so much.

01:05:21.000 Very pretentious.

01:05:22.000 Very, and that's what I don't, I don't miss any, listen, at all.

01:05:25.000 When I watch it in a movie now, I can't even stand small talk.

01:05:29.000 Like, that's what, I didn't even know what small talk was.

01:05:32.000 You know, it was like the night you did a show, I'm talking to you about Fear, before Fear Factor.

01:05:40.000 You did a show, maybe, at the Wulter one night.

01:05:44.000 Yeah. And we left a bunch of people there and they circled you.

01:05:48.000 Like Ann Maney and a bunch of other people, and they were talking to you about a deal or something.

01:05:53.000 And it was like, oh my god, your set was so great.

01:05:56.000 And you're supposed to stand there like, thank you.

01:05:58.000 I fucking hate that shit.

01:06:00.000 Yeah, they love kissing people's ass. 0.78

01:06:01.000 We loved it.

01:06:02.000 Oh my god.

01:06:03.000 Mimi and I loved it.

01:06:06.000 Mimi. Victoria and I loved it.

01:06:09.000 We're so happy you invited us.

01:06:11.000 And you have to sit there and go, come on, knock it the fuck off.

01:06:13.000 That was in the deal days.

01:06:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:06:15.000 But I'd still be shopping around deals.

01:06:16.000 Yeah, when they come up to you and talk to you, you had to be like, fucking, hi, yeah.

01:06:21.000 So how was that?

01:06:21.000 How did that feel?

01:06:23.000 Yeah, well, you still connected to the system, and that was how I was making most of my money.

01:06:27.000 So I'd make some money from stand-up, but I would make like a couple hundred thousand dollars on these deals.

01:06:32.000 On these deals.

01:06:32.000 That would be my year's money.

01:06:34.000 And then I'd be working with some fucking schlub, making a sitcom that sucked. 1.00

01:06:39.000 It never went anywhere.

01:06:41.000 I did that for a couple years.

01:06:42.000 So I did that from like 99 to 2001.

01:06:49.000 And then Fear Factor started.

01:06:51.000 News Radio's on at 8 o'clock.

01:06:53.000 It's everywhere.

01:06:53.000 My kids watch it.

01:06:54.000 I watch it.

01:06:55.000 They think it's hilarious.

01:06:56.000 I watched my favorite episode a couple weeks ago when he was playing the piano on the fucking Phil Harmon.

01:07:03.000 He was playing the piano on the elevator and it kept opening.

01:07:06.000 Oh, that's right.

01:07:10.000 That was a fun episode.

01:07:12.000 That was a fun show.

01:07:13.000 But that show ruined me for other sitcoms.

01:07:15.000 Doing a sitcom after that show, like, why?

01:07:18.000 It's not going to be the same.

01:07:20.000 It's going to suck.

01:07:21.000 You need the...

01:07:21.000 It's like a very rare combination of people to put together a really good sitcom.

01:07:26.000 That was a very good show.

01:07:27.000 It was just...

01:07:28.000 I know that you told me over the years that they kept moving you and had never found a home or something like that.

01:07:33.000 Yeah, they moved like nine times.

01:07:34.000 The show really became popular after it was in syndication.

01:07:38.000 That's when it became popular.

01:07:39.000 It became popular when it was on, you know, 7pm on ABC or whatever the fuck it was, NBC Affiliate, you know, when they were just showing the syndicated reruns.

01:07:48.000 That's when it became popular.

01:07:49.000 Way more popular after it was cancelled than it was when it was on the air.

01:07:54.000 One of the writers, Lou Morton, every day would come to the table read.

01:07:59.000 He would have a t-shirt, like a white t-shirt, and we'd write a number on it, and that number was our ratings.

01:08:05.000 And one day he came in, it was like 85. I was like, 85?

01:08:09.000 Really? We're like 85th.

01:08:12.000 We're the 85th show.

01:08:14.000 That's good.

01:08:15.000 Terrible. Good is number one.

01:08:19.000 Oh, no, no, I just didn't know.

01:08:20.000 I thought it was like a rating system.

01:08:21.000 No, no, no, no.

01:08:22.000 It's the ranked shows in the country.

01:08:24.000 We were like 85 or 88, something like that.

01:08:27.000 It was real bad.

01:08:28.000 Real bad.

01:08:29.000 We were like on the verge of being canceled.

01:08:31.000 I know you're watching some good shows now.

01:08:33.000 Yeah. I'm watching one show and I'll tell you.

01:08:35.000 What are you watching?

01:08:36.000 There's some people who are dangerous.

01:08:38.000 And then there's Helen Mirren.

01:08:40.000 What are you watching?

01:08:41.000 Oh, the 1923 show?

01:08:43.000 Both of them.

01:08:44.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:44.000 Mobland. Oh, yeah.

01:08:46.000 I heard Mobland's great.

01:08:48.000 She's fucking great.

01:08:49.000 Yeah, I have not seen that yet.

01:08:51.000 The Italian mafia movies, they're done.

01:08:52.000 Really? Yeah.

01:08:54.000 De Niro just put Outdoor Nights out.

01:08:55.000 They took it out of the movie theater in two fucking weeks.

01:08:58.000 He put what out?

01:08:59.000 He put a movie called Outdoor Nights out, where he plays two roles.

01:09:02.000 He plays Frank Costello and somebody else, or Vito Genovese.

01:09:04.000 I don't know exactly.

01:09:06.000 Somebody should have taken De Niro's keys away when he wanted to go out and do political speeches.

01:09:10.000 Well, no.

01:09:11.000 I think that...

01:09:12.000 Listen, you're not going to ban a movie because of his political beliefs.

01:09:17.000 No, but people are going to take him seriously because of his political beliefs.

01:09:19.000 Well, the way he acted, he drops them.

01:09:21.000 People, okay, and I get it, but to make two million dollars your first week?

01:09:27.000 That's not good.

01:09:28.000 And then like three million after that, and then they just yanked it.

01:09:31.000 I tried to go just to watch it.

01:09:33.000 It's called Alto Nights?

01:09:35.000 Have you heard of it, Jamie?

01:09:36.000 Nobody. Came and went.

01:09:38.000 Came and fucking went.

01:09:40.000 The problem when people who want to be taken seriously as actors talk a lot...

01:09:46.000 About politics and talk a lot and give out opinions.

01:09:51.000 They think that their opinions are very important and that it's important that they speak out.

01:09:55.000 But the problem with that is like you ruin your acting for other people who now think of the stupid shit that you've said instead of thinking you as this character.

01:10:04.000 Let me hear a little of this.

01:10:07.000 Hey, come on. 0.77

01:10:14.000 Where do I start?

01:10:16.000 You're going down a very dangerous road and we ain't been down dangerous roads before But that's the risk you take me I tell but you're not where I am I get the charities I pay my taxes

01:10:29.000 This actually looks good.

01:10:43.000 They're bigger gangsters than we ever could be.

01:10:47.000 All of a sudden you want to be half thin, half hot, half a racketeer.

01:10:50.000 You can't have it both ways.

01:10:52.000 You're either in or you're out.

01:11:01.000 That looks good.

01:11:03.000 I'm telling you.

01:11:05.000 That looks good.

01:11:06.000 I'd watch that.

01:11:07.000 The movie is not bad.

01:11:09.000 I'm telling you, it's because De Niro talks too much.

01:11:11.000 I think that we're so out of going to the movies every Friday.

01:11:15.000 Like you said, nobody knew it came out.

01:11:17.000 I didn't even know it came out.

01:11:18.000 Well, COVID killed the movie theaters.

01:11:20.000 Oh, it's a shame.

01:11:22.000 Because they made movies way quicker out on streaming now.

01:11:26.000 All I have to do is wait a month.

01:11:27.000 I can wait a month.

01:11:28.000 One month later, I can watch it at home.

01:11:30.000 I don't have to see somebody texting people right in front of me with their fucking phone blinding white. 0.55

01:11:35.000 People talking.

01:11:36.000 What did he say?

01:11:37.000 What did he say?

01:11:38.000 Do you want any popcorn?

01:11:40.000 The movie theater I go to, there's never a show there.

01:11:44.000 Not a show.

01:11:45.000 I've never seen anything like that.

01:11:47.000 I usually go to the last screening on Thursday night.

01:11:51.000 Not a show.

01:11:52.000 I mean, most movie theaters.

01:11:54.000 People are polite.

01:11:55.000 Very nice.

01:11:56.000 Where I go?

01:11:56.000 Very. I can't believe it.

01:11:58.000 But it's that risk.

01:11:58.000 That risk of one douchebag who fucks it up for everybody.

01:12:03.000 I won't go see a popular movie.

01:12:05.000 I'm not a top raider like that.

01:12:07.000 I like going to see a movie.

01:12:09.000 I go, you know what?

01:12:09.000 I want to go watch that.

01:12:10.000 Some movies I could watch at home.

01:12:12.000 Now I want to watch in the fucking thing.

01:12:13.000 Anything with 3D, like Wicked or whatever, I go.

01:12:17.000 I take my mushrooms.

01:12:17.000 I take my daughter.

01:12:18.000 I sit there.

01:12:19.000 She enjoys it.

01:12:20.000 And I fucking have a great time.

01:12:21.000 Wicked was great.

01:12:22.000 Wicked. It was great.

01:12:24.000 The only thing was, don't go on mushrooms.

01:12:26.000 No? I was so fucked up.

01:12:29.000 The chick is black and green.

01:12:31.000 I couldn't deal with that right off the bat.

01:12:32.000 Where's the black people? 1.00

01:12:34.000 Raise your hand.

01:12:34.000 What the fuck?

01:12:35.000 I'm feeling like a racist in here.

01:12:37.000 She can't be black and she can't be green.

01:12:38.000 Then Ariana with no eyebrows.

01:12:41.000 That killed me.

01:12:42.000 She had those blind eyebrows.

01:12:43.000 I'm on fucking mushrooms and this movie won't end.

01:12:46.000 It won't end.

01:12:47.000 It's a long movie.

01:12:48.000 It's a fucking long movie.

01:12:50.000 But I'm looking at her and she's having such a great time.

01:12:53.000 When you look at your kids and they're having such a great time, you're like, I don't give a fuck.

01:12:56.000 I enjoyed it.

01:12:57.000 I enjoyed the Barbie movie.

01:12:59.000 How about that?

01:13:00.000 I never saw it.

01:13:00.000 I enjoyed it.

01:13:01.000 I went with my kids.

01:13:02.000 They had a good time.

01:13:03.000 I thought it was funny.

01:13:04.000 Everybody was like complaining.

01:13:06.000 It's political.

01:13:07.000 It's against the patriarchy.

01:13:08.000 Listen, here's my position.

01:13:11.000 A movie's allowed to be political.

01:13:12.000 Like, if you make a good movie and it happens to have a political slant to it, I don't care.

01:13:16.000 Is it a good movie?

01:13:18.000 I don't care.

01:13:19.000 I don't care.

01:13:20.000 Like, you're not going to change my opinion in a movie.

01:13:22.000 Like, this is your opinion.

01:13:24.000 This is how you're going to do it.

01:13:25.000 Like, okay.

01:13:26.000 So this movie is like a pro-feminism movie, people were saying. 0.98

01:13:29.000 They were complaining.

01:13:31.000 I'm like, it's a Barbie doll.

01:13:33.000 Can we just make a movie and nobody raise their fucking hand?

01:13:36.000 That's all it is.

01:13:37.000 But the thing is, everybody has to because they have to have a hot take on everything.

01:13:41.000 Everybody has to have a hot take.

01:13:43.000 There's a market out there of people where all they do is look for something to point out that's a disaster or a failure or here's my hot take and why this sucks and that's what they do.

01:13:56.000 All they do is find things that suck.

01:13:58.000 And they very rarely talk about things that are awesome.

01:14:00.000 No. Which is crazy.

01:14:01.000 Because there's so much awesome shit out there right now.

01:14:04.000 I hate all that shit.

01:14:05.000 You know what's great on Apple Plus?

01:14:08.000 Slow Horses.

01:14:11.000 Okay. Have you heard of it?

01:14:13.000 You know what it is?

01:14:13.000 No. It's Gary Oldman.

01:14:17.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:18.000 My wife watches that. 0.96

01:14:19.000 It's a British spy drama.

01:14:20.000 She says it's fucking tremendous.

01:14:21.000 It's fucking great.

01:14:22.000 Tremendous. Really good show.

01:14:24.000 I've been watching the one with Jon Hamm.

01:14:27.000 Which one?

01:14:28.000 He has a show, Jon Hamm, where he becomes a thief in a rich neighborhood.

01:14:32.000 Oh, really?

01:14:32.000 He loses his job.

01:14:33.000 Bro, there's too many shows.

01:14:35.000 Yeah, there's too many fucking shows.

01:14:36.000 There's too many shows.

01:14:37.000 You just can't.

01:14:38.000 You can't watch them all.

01:14:39.000 You want to watch a show that you shouldn't be on Mushrooms?

01:14:42.000 Severance. I heard that very well.

01:14:45.000 Good anyway.

01:14:45.000 Yeah, it's a very good show.

01:14:46.000 Don't watch that on Mushrooms, though.

01:14:47.000 You'll get fucked up.

01:14:48.000 I watched that movie with Demi Moore.

01:14:50.000 Oh, I heard about that.

01:14:52.000 I didn't see it.

01:14:53.000 Is that a show or a movie?

01:14:54.000 It's a movie?

01:14:54.000 That is the weirdest fucking movie I've seen in years.

01:14:57.000 It's a movie where she gets young again and goes back and forth.

01:15:00.000 Old and young.

01:15:02.000 Yeah. It was a little too deep for me.

01:15:04.000 Substance? Did you see it, Jamie?

01:15:06.000 No, I was going to see it.

01:15:07.000 It's like a Black Mirror type movie.

01:15:09.000 And that just came back out too.

01:15:11.000 Black Mirror.

01:15:11.000 Yeah, I heard the new ones are great.

01:15:13.000 Do you watch 1823?

01:15:15.000 Yes. You liked it?

01:15:17.000 You enjoyed it?

01:15:17.000 I enjoyed all of them.

01:15:19.000 Love it.

01:15:19.000 I enjoyed all of them.

01:15:21.000 Landman's good, too.

01:15:22.000 Have you seen Landman?

01:15:23.000 That's very good.

01:15:24.000 Funny. Yeah.

01:15:25.000 That fucking girl. 1.00

01:15:26.000 Billy Bob's the man.

01:15:27.000 I love anything.

01:15:28.000 They're shooting already.

01:15:29.000 Yeah. Right?

01:15:30.000 They're down there shooting.

01:15:31.000 I believe so.

01:15:31.000 Yeah, because they were looking for vehicles or something I saw last week.

01:15:34.000 Yeah. Well, Taylor likes to do everything down here when he can.

01:15:37.000 You know?

01:15:38.000 He's got that giant ranch out here.

01:15:39.000 Taylor Sheridan.

01:15:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:15:40.000 He's got the four sixes.

01:15:41.000 He's got that ranch.

01:15:43.000 And, you know, I mean, that guy can't lose.

01:15:46.000 Everything he touches is gold.

01:15:47.000 He's doing a really good job, yeah.

01:15:49.000 You ever met him?

01:15:50.000 No. Fucking great guy.

01:15:51.000 No, I have mutual friends that tell me you should meet him.

01:15:53.000 I had dinner with him and Bert in Vegas recently.

01:15:57.000 All our wives together after the fights.

01:16:00.000 After the UFC fights.

01:16:01.000 And a bunch of my pool player friends came by.

01:16:02.000 And Goggins.

01:16:03.000 Goggins was there with his wife too.

01:16:05.000 Great time.

01:16:06.000 Fucking great dinner.

01:16:08.000 So much fun.

01:16:09.000 We're all laughing.

01:16:09.000 Having fun.

01:16:11.000 Good fucking time.

01:16:12.000 But Taylor Sheridan's great.

01:16:14.000 Just, the guy can't lose.

01:16:16.000 And, you know, he made Sicario, bro.

01:16:19.000 You know?

01:16:20.000 Go watch that. 0.71

01:16:21.000 I watched it.

01:16:22.000 I loved it.

01:16:22.000 Watch that again.

01:16:23.000 The first and the second one.

01:16:24.000 Sicario was a fucking banger of a movie.

01:16:27.000 It was on TV the other day.

01:16:28.000 I was like, that's right.

01:16:30.000 This movie's...

01:16:31.000 That's a banger of a movie.

01:16:33.000 You know, it's a shame that, I don't know, maybe before the pandemic had started with, like, really bad movies.

01:16:39.000 It's just a shame, you know?

01:16:40.000 It really is a shame that we gotta wait for shows this long.

01:16:46.000 There's so much to watch, though.

01:16:47.000 Yeah, The Addams Family never came back with Jenna Garcia. 0.51

01:16:50.000 Was it supposed to come back?

01:16:51.000 Yeah. Netflix never...

01:16:55.000 And I worked with one of the dudes and he goes, yeah, we already shot it.

01:16:57.000 It's still fucking been like three years.

01:16:59.000 By the time it comes back, my kid's gonna fucking not even remember.

01:17:02.000 Oh, she didn't even remember it anyway.

01:17:04.000 Are they doing anything with it?

01:17:05.000 I've never heard anything again.

01:17:07.000 Huh. Why would they do that?

01:17:09.000 That doesn't make any sense.

01:17:11.000 Netflix is off the...

01:17:12.000 You know, they don't know.

01:17:13.000 They just...

01:17:14.000 Netflix has so much fucking shit on there.

01:17:17.000 There's so much.

01:17:17.000 So much.

01:17:18.000 If I see one more Pablo Escobar thing...

01:17:20.000 They got...

01:17:22.000 If you watch, like, a murder thing one time, forget it.

01:17:26.000 They're talking about doing the UFC on Netflix.

01:17:28.000 Yep. Yeah.

01:17:30.000 Apparently, I think the UFC's negotiation...

01:17:35.000 Period. With ESPN.

01:17:37.000 Ended. Ended.

01:17:38.000 Yeah, so.

01:17:39.000 So what that means is they could talk to other people.

01:17:41.000 That fucking thing that night when everything fell apart, that was a bad night.

01:17:46.000 What? Which night?

01:17:47.000 When the ball dropped.

01:17:48.000 Not this card, but the one before that, when the pay-per-views, when all the disasters started.

01:17:53.000 It was about pay-per-views.

01:17:54.000 One night.

01:17:55.000 Nobody was getting the pay-per-view.

01:17:57.000 UFC fighters.

01:17:59.000 The app failed, right?

01:18:01.000 Yes, the app failed.

01:18:02.000 It was too overwhelming for the UFC, I think.

01:18:05.000 Because shit happens.

01:18:06.000 But this must have been bad because...

01:18:09.000 What fight card was that, Jamie, where there was a failure?

01:18:13.000 I don't...

01:18:16.000 Was I working that?

01:18:17.000 How do I not know that that happened?

01:18:19.000 I don't think you were working that one.

01:18:21.000 Let me see.

01:18:27.000 3-13, so two events ago.

01:18:30.000 May, March.

01:18:31.000 Where was that?

01:18:32.000 Where was it?

01:18:35.000 Was that Adesanya?

01:18:37.000 Ankhalev decision over Pereira.

01:18:40.000 Oh, okay.

01:18:41.000 So I was working that one.

01:18:43.000 You did work it?

01:18:43.000 Yeah, I was working that one for sure.

01:18:45.000 It was Ankhalev when he won the title over Pereira.

01:18:47.000 So the pay-per-view, what happened?

01:18:50.000 It went down or it partially went down?

01:18:52.000 It partially went down.

01:18:53.000 I couldn't order the car.

01:18:55.000 There was a bunch of shit going on.

01:18:56.000 Then I went on Twitter and I saw Frankie Edgar and a bunch of other guys, fighters, saying, what the fuck is wrong with mine?

01:19:02.000 I'm like, okay, it's not just me.

01:19:04.000 And then I heard the riffraff that night, and then the next day they were talking about it, and then Monday, Dana was hot.

01:19:10.000 I know he did something.

01:19:11.000 He said something about it.

01:19:12.000 Well, I think in general the pay-per-view numbers are down as well because the casuals aren't buying it as much because you don't have...

01:19:18.000 First of all, the UFC is not like boxing.

01:19:21.000 Like a boxing pay-per-view is like, oh, Canelo's fighting in four months, and then you get gear up and you buy the Canelo Alvarez pay-per-view.

01:19:30.000 If you're a big boxing fan...

01:19:33.000 You might buy one once every couple months.

01:19:36.000 If you're hardcore, you're watching all of them.

01:19:38.000 You're on DAZN, and you're on ESPN +, you're watching every boxing match there is.

01:19:42.000 But there's not a lot of pay-per-views.

01:19:44.000 The UFC has a pay-per-view every week.

01:19:46.000 Or, excuse me, every month.

01:19:48.000 And then they have a fight every week.

01:19:51.000 So, it's like getting people to shell out 70 bucks for this card.

01:19:56.000 And also, like, some of the great fights are on the undercard.

01:19:59.000 And you already, before the pay-per-view starts, you already have, you know, three and a half hours of great fights you can watch for free.

01:20:07.000 And some of them, they're trying to lure you into buying the pay-per-view.

01:20:10.000 So some of the best fights are really on the undercard.

01:20:13.000 Sometimes. Like, guys who you don't know their names yet.

01:20:16.000 There's always one good fight that I want to watch on the undercard.

01:20:18.000 I'm going to watch the undercard for two fights or something.

01:20:21.000 Always. And then you guys start talking about the fights and then you get...

01:20:25.000 You know, and then you order it.

01:20:26.000 Yeah, I mean, the big fight clearly this last weekend was Volkanovski vs.

01:20:30.000 Lopez. That was the fight I really wanted to see.

01:20:32.000 Because I really wanted to see if Volkanovski could pull it off.

01:20:36.000 All-time great featherweight champion.

01:20:38.000 One of the, for sure, greatest fighters of all time.

01:20:42.000 Shoo-in for the Hall of Fame. 0.97

01:20:44.000 But he's 36. And he got knocked out two times in a row and he's fighting this fucking animal in Diego Lopez.

01:20:49.000 Diego Lopez is an animal.

01:20:49.000 It was a great fight, though.

01:20:51.000 And Volk pulled it off.

01:20:52.000 The fight that I really wanted to see was Bryce Mitchell versus John Silva.

01:20:57.000 Right. Because John Silva is a motherfucker, dude.

01:21:01.000 That guy looks like a world champion.

01:21:04.000 He choked him with a darts?

01:21:06.000 Yeah. Well, he choked him like a ninja choke.

01:21:08.000 Okay. And was like a no arm in.

01:21:12.000 With a darts, you have the arm in, and you cinch it up.

01:21:14.000 That was just all neck. 0.62

01:21:16.000 And put him to sleep.

01:21:18.000 He tapped, and then he went out.

01:21:22.000 beat him from pillar to post the entire fight and was smiling and laughing and looked like he was never threatened and never in danger just like he was on another level like way above Bryce like looked like a world champion like even guys that have beat him before that beat Bryce Mitchell before except Josh Emmett,

01:21:44.000 who just KO'd him with one punch.

01:21:46.000 But even Ilya Tapuria, he got to get a hold of him first.

01:21:50.000 John Silva looked like he was never a fight.

01:21:53.000 Almost like he was having fun.

01:21:54.000 He was trying to get him to touch hands at the beginning of every round.

01:21:57.000 He wouldn't do it.

01:21:57.000 He's like, come on, touch hands.

01:22:00.000 He's like, touch hands!

01:22:02.000 He wouldn't touch hands.

01:22:03.000 And then finally, he just put him to sleep.

01:22:06.000 He's an animal, man.

01:22:07.000 That guy is, that whole team, apparently, the fighting nerds.

01:22:12.000 I was talking to John Anik about this.

01:22:13.000 He said they have data scientists that work for the team.

01:22:17.000 Data scientists who analyze techniques.

01:22:19.000 And they, like, break things down.

01:22:21.000 Like, what's effective in patterns.

01:22:23.000 They find patterns.

01:22:24.000 Patterns of opponents.

01:22:25.000 What the person does.

01:22:27.000 When they do it.

01:22:27.000 Where are these guys at?

01:22:28.000 Brazil. All the way in Brazil.

01:22:30.000 Bro, that's a team of fucking savages. 0.92

01:22:34.000 Who else is that?

01:22:35.000 Kyle Baralho, who's one of the top 185 pounders, who might be the best.

01:22:40.000 In the world.

01:22:41.000 I mean, when he fights Drickus Duplassi, eventually we'll see, but he's just storching that division.

01:22:46.000 I mean, he's one of the best contenders in that.

01:22:48.000 And then you have Mauricio Rufi, who's one of the baddest lightweights alive, gigantic lightweight, tall and long, wheel-kicked Bobby Green into another dimension.

01:22:56.000 You got that guy.

01:22:57.000 You got Carlos Protes, who's a fucking killer.

01:23:01.000 Stone-cold Muay Thai killer who's really hard to take down.

01:23:05.000 And he's just...

01:23:06.000 100% finishing rate in the UFC, I believe.

01:23:09.000 He just knocked out Neil Magny.

01:23:11.000 He fucks everybody up.

01:23:13.000 He's a sniper.

01:23:15.000 Like super skillful and slick Muay Thai guy.

01:23:18.000 So their whole team is just killer, killer, killer, killer.

01:23:21.000 It's all killers.

01:23:23.000 Just like a team of brilliant up-and-coming killers.

01:23:27.000 See, these guys are learning now.

01:23:29.000 It's not just about training hard.

01:23:31.000 It's not just about sacrifice.

01:23:32.000 It's about thinking hard, too.

01:23:34.000 It's about learning.

01:23:36.000 It's about, like, really going over your game and, like, what can you improve upon?

01:23:42.000 How do we make this better?

01:23:45.000 How do we seal up this part of the game?

01:23:48.000 Amazing. I think the guy that led that, for me, was GSP.

01:23:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:23:53.000 I was always very impressed with how every fight he showed up with something different.

01:23:58.000 Yeah. While his opponent was still like, yeah, GSP has got skills, but I still got this right hand.

01:24:04.000 Okay. He was always learning.

01:24:07.000 He was always learning.

01:24:08.000 He was in the city with the kickboxing guy.

01:24:11.000 He was over...

01:24:12.000 Phil Nurse?

01:24:13.000 Yeah, Phil Nurse.

01:24:13.000 He was with Phil Nurse and the Watt.

01:24:15.000 Yeah, and then he would go with all the Greg Jackson guys.

01:24:19.000 Wild Card.

01:24:19.000 He would go over there.

01:24:20.000 Go to Wild Card, Chase Boxing.

01:24:21.000 Remember when he fought, I think it was Josh.

01:24:24.000 Kaczek, and he was jabbing.

01:24:26.000 Was that the fight where he fucking broke the jab out and he had trained at Wildcard?

01:24:30.000 Yeah, his jab had fucked Josh's eye up so bad that Josh couldn't fly home.

01:24:34.000 I remember that.

01:24:35.000 I remember all that shit, and that's what I liked about him.

01:24:37.000 His training was...

01:24:38.000 Another time...

01:24:39.000 You know, you're watching and he's doing gymnastics.

01:24:42.000 Yeah. Where's gymnastics in all this player game?

01:24:45.000 Well, he just realized that gymnasts are so powerful because they have such control of their body.

01:24:49.000 And he's like, well, I'm going to get better control of my body.

01:24:51.000 So he learned how to do backflips and shit.

01:24:52.000 Unbelievable. Swimming.

01:24:53.000 Fucking doing this, doing that.

01:24:55.000 And meanwhile, you're still going, well, my jujitsu game is elevated.

01:24:58.000 This motherfucker just went and worked out every part of his game, but focused on just one, really.

01:25:04.000 You know what's really crazy about him?

01:25:05.000 He still does the same thing.

01:25:07.000 He's really a martial artist.

01:25:08.000 He comes to Austin all the time to train with John Donaher and Gordon Ryan all the time.

01:25:13.000 He's here all the time.

01:25:14.000 I see him, like, every couple months.

01:25:16.000 He comes down to train, and then he'll go somewhere else to train, and he'll go somewhere else to train.

01:25:19.000 No desire to fight.

01:25:20.000 He doesn't want to fight anymore at all.

01:25:22.000 He's just a martial artist.

01:25:23.000 He's so happy and content.

01:25:25.000 He's like the best example of a guy who retired with millions in the bank and is living his best life.

01:25:31.000 He's a real martial artist.

01:25:33.000 He really is.

01:25:33.000 He just wants to learn and grow.

01:25:35.000 Why would he come here and train with Gordon Ryan?

01:25:38.000 Why would he train with that fucking animal if you're not actually thinking about competing?

01:25:42.000 But for him, it's just all about growing.

01:25:44.000 It's all about growing and this martial arts journey that he's on for his whole life.

01:25:49.000 It's really amazing.

01:25:50.000 It's very cool.

01:25:52.000 You know, when he would come to 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu and he would learn stuff from Eddie, too.

01:25:57.000 He came down to learn a turning sidekick from me.

01:26:00.000 Like, he just wants to learn from everybody.

01:26:02.000 He wants to learn everything.

01:26:04.000 He's always constantly seeking out.

01:26:06.000 Very smart.

01:26:06.000 Yeah. Very smart.

01:26:08.000 Very smart.

01:26:09.000 And you'll see him.

01:26:10.000 He's in all these different gyms.

01:26:11.000 You see him.

01:26:12.000 Oh, look, he's in Thailand.

01:26:13.000 He's working with Muay Thai guys.

01:26:14.000 He's over here.

01:26:15.000 He's over there.

01:26:15.000 He's just enjoying his life and training martial arts all over the world.

01:26:19.000 It's incredible.

01:26:20.000 Incredible. It's beautiful.

01:26:22.000 Because the saddest thing for me is when a fighter stops fighting and they lose their identity.

01:26:27.000 George has never lost his identity.

01:26:28.000 He hasn't gone through some weird phase where he doesn't know what to do with himself.

01:26:32.000 I am not impressed with your performance.

01:26:35.000 That was one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life.

01:26:39.000 Yeah, that became like a meme before memes.

01:26:42.000 I was not impressed with your performance.

01:26:44.000 Nicest fucking guy in the world.

01:26:46.000 And really smart, man.

01:26:48.000 Really interested in all kinds of shit.

01:26:49.000 Always reading stuff and fascinated by things.

01:26:54.000 Just a guy, just a curious guy who wants to learn and he's just going through his life just having a good time now.

01:27:02.000 He doesn't have to think about...

01:27:03.000 Business. You know?

01:27:05.000 It's just training.

01:27:06.000 It's kind of fucking awesome.

01:27:07.000 It's awesome.

01:27:08.000 It really is awesome.

01:27:09.000 It really is.

01:27:10.000 Because, like, with no goal in mind other than growth.

01:27:14.000 Other than growth and getting better.

01:27:15.000 And he's still rolling hard, man.

01:27:17.000 I'm watching him roll with these guys.

01:27:18.000 He's rolling with assassins.

01:27:20.000 You know?

01:27:20.000 He's still doing jiu-jitsu with, like, top flight black belts, man.

01:27:24.000 Would you ever consider going back to Taekwondo?

01:27:26.000 No. No.

01:27:28.000 Just going to a school once a week and just going in there with a bunch of guys and throwing some kicks and shit.

01:27:34.000 I work out on my own.

01:27:35.000 No, no, you're not feeling me.

01:27:37.000 What do you mean?

01:27:37.000 Anybody can work out on their own.

01:27:39.000 Could you imagine now?

01:27:40.000 I've been thinking about it.

01:27:41.000 There's a purple belt at my jiu-jitsu school.

01:27:44.000 He's 68. Oh, wow.

01:27:46.000 He came from a fucking Shotokan karate background.

01:27:49.000 And he goes, I teach in the Bronx every Wednesday night.

01:27:52.000 He goes, this was my school.

01:27:53.000 I sold it.

01:27:54.000 But I still go up there on Wednesdays.

01:27:56.000 Come with me sometime.

01:27:57.000 I'm like, how cool would that be?

01:27:59.000 That would be cool to take a class.

01:28:01.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:28:01.000 One time a week.

01:28:04.000 As long as you didn't have to spar.

01:28:06.000 No, no, no, no.

01:28:07.000 But you do those, you know, like when you do Taekwondo, they have those...

01:28:12.000 One steps.

01:28:12.000 One steps, like those little...

01:28:14.000 Those who sheik day run, I think they call, where I throw a punch. 1.00

01:28:17.000 Yeah, it's drilled.

01:28:18.000 And that's what you need.

01:28:19.000 You're not going to fucking...

01:28:21.000 You're not going to fucking spar and go crazy, but...

01:28:24.000 Drills are really important.

01:28:26.000 They're really important and people don't like to do them because sparring is so fun.

01:28:29.000 Same with jiu-jitsu.

01:28:30.000 Eddie Bravo always used to say that.

01:28:32.000 Drills are terrible.

01:28:33.000 They're so boring.

01:28:34.000 But if you can do them, it'll make your jiu-jitsu way better.

01:28:37.000 The biggest leap that I ever got in the beginning of my jiu-jitsu journey was when I became friends with Eddie.

01:28:43.000 We would train in my garage.

01:28:44.000 I had mats in my garage.

01:28:45.000 And we would just...

01:28:46.000 Drill for like an hour and a half, a couple times a week.

01:28:49.000 What would you drill?

01:28:49.000 He was showing me a lot of his rubber guard stuff, like the early stuff, but we would just drill different positions, how to escape certain positions.

01:28:59.000 How to finish from certain positions, what to be careful of, and then we just go through paths.

01:29:04.000 Like, path was, you know, pass into half guard, push on the knee, move into side control, side control, head and arm, secure the arm, finish the arm triangle, and what we'd do is, like, if he was doing it to me, I would resist, like, 40%, maybe.

01:29:19.000 You know, you just kind of, like, sort of resist, and they secure it, and you kind of resist, and they finish it off.

01:29:23.000 So it's, like, basically, you're just, you're doing it as if...

01:29:27.000 You're doing the same pathway with the same things that a person would do to resist, but then they're not trying to really stop you.

01:29:34.000 They want you to tap them.

01:29:36.000 This is the idea of the drill.

01:29:37.000 So I'll get my hand in, but it's just so that you can push my hand down and then lock it over.

01:29:43.000 Well, that's big now.

01:29:44.000 Drilling is everything.

01:29:45.000 People are flow rolling.

01:29:48.000 People are selling it more.

01:29:49.000 Even Tom DeBlas is like, dog, listen.

01:29:52.000 It's a way to get better.

01:29:54.000 It's really the way to get better.

01:29:55.000 But the problem is you gotta keep a motherfucker flowing.

01:29:58.000 And that's the problem, that after a while you're like...

01:30:00.000 And also the next thing you know it's not a flow no more.

01:30:02.000 Right, now you're going to try to catch each other.

01:30:04.000 And that's the problem.

01:30:05.000 It always starts off with a flow for a minute and a half, and then it goes off the fucking reservation. 0.92

01:30:10.000 That's always the same with kickboxing, sparring too.

01:30:12.000 When I was training at the Jet Center, there was this one dude that I used to love to train with.

01:30:17.000 He was an older guy.

01:30:18.000 So I was probably 26. Back then, 27 maybe.

01:30:23.000 And he was maybe closer to 35, 40. He had some fights.

01:30:29.000 He just liked to stay in shape.

01:30:30.000 And we would spar.

01:30:32.000 And he knew I was an actor or comedian or whatever.

01:30:34.000 I was on a TV show.

01:30:36.000 And I didn't want to get hit too much.

01:30:37.000 So we would spar.

01:30:38.000 We'd just...

01:30:39.000 Touch each other.

01:30:40.000 And I knew he wasn't going to try to knock me out.

01:30:42.000 But other guys, I knew, like, we're fighting.

01:30:45.000 Like, we're sparring.

01:30:46.000 This is a fight.

01:30:47.000 But with him, I knew it.

01:30:48.000 And I got so sharp because of that.

01:30:51.000 Because he and I would work out a couple times a week.

01:30:53.000 And I noticed, like, my timing and everything was, like, much sharper because I was going through those pathways and not tense.

01:31:00.000 You know, I was going through those pathways, so sharpening those lanes.

01:31:03.000 So, like, punch comes, slip, counter.

01:31:06.000 All these things were, like, flowing in my head because we weren't...

01:31:08.000 They're hurting each other.

01:31:09.000 But it's so hard for young guys to understand that.

01:31:13.000 To get better is to, like, be playful with it.

01:31:16.000 You want to, like, the Thai guys. 0.99

01:31:18.000 They just, because they fight every week.

01:31:20.000 When they spar, they don't hurt each other at all.

01:31:22.000 They touch.

01:31:23.000 And they laugh.

01:31:24.000 Like, oi!

01:31:25.000 Oi! They're, like, playing a little game with each other.

01:31:27.000 You ever seen Thai guys?

01:31:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:29.000 They have a good time.

01:31:29.000 Like, you watch, like, one of the best things to watch is, like, two elite high-level...

01:31:36.000 Thai guys just spar with each other.

01:31:38.000 Just spar playful light.

01:31:41.000 Because they're joking around and laughing and they're touching each other.

01:31:44.000 But they're really working on that timing.

01:31:46.000 They're really working on those moves.

01:31:48.000 Working on seeing what's coming, how to stop it, how to get in on them.

01:31:52.000 But they're not hurting each other at all.

01:31:55.000 You know, it's weird that I'm older and I love doing crazy shit.

01:31:59.000 Like, I love it.

01:31:59.000 I don't have much in the daytime no more.

01:32:02.000 So I'll try to catch a boxing class or jiu-jitsu and all that shit.

01:32:06.000 And jiu-jitsu is the toughest one for me.

01:32:08.000 Like, I haven't been to jiu-jitsu since November because I've been sick.

01:32:10.000 You know, I had a bunch of problems.

01:32:12.000 And I was on antibiotics.

01:32:13.000 I was having a hard time fucking breathing.

01:32:16.000 But I can't wait to go back.

01:32:18.000 But now I'm going to go back and do it a little bit differently.

01:32:21.000 Flow. Flow.

01:32:22.000 A lot more flow.

01:32:23.000 And there's one guy that'll flow with me.

01:32:24.000 He's a cop.

01:32:26.000 And drilling more.

01:32:28.000 Yeah. If you have a blue belt class, it's basically a lot of drilling. 1.00

01:32:32.000 That's great.

01:32:33.000 You fucking burn a lot of calories in there.

01:32:34.000 Drilling is so important.

01:32:36.000 But you have to go, in the daytime, they roll a little bit more.

01:32:39.000 At night, the classes are so shut that you don't have time to roll that long.

01:32:44.000 Right. So I would rather drill a long time and then roll once and get the fuck out of it.

01:32:48.000 Yeah. That's perfect for me.

01:32:49.000 You know, so, and even with boxing, I don't, when I go box, I don't fucking...

01:32:53.000 Go crazy.

01:32:54.000 I hit the speed bag a little bit.

01:32:56.000 Two rounds, and I hit the bag that moves around.

01:32:58.000 That burns a ton of calories.

01:33:00.000 Then I hit the hard bag, and I'm out of there.

01:33:02.000 Seven, eight, three-minute rounds, and I'm good.

01:33:05.000 You know what I like to do?

01:33:06.000 I like to put on the Wu-Tang Clan and just fuck that heavy bag up.

01:33:09.000 I love it.

01:33:10.000 I love the earphones.

01:33:11.000 I love all...

01:33:11.000 And I'll tell you what else I got into now that I'm older.

01:33:14.000 What? Because when I went to that hospital, it taught me a lot, Joe.

01:33:17.000 It reminded me that I wasn't a kid no more.

01:33:19.000 Like, we fuck around, and we have a good time, and we think we're bad motherfuckers, but...

01:33:24.000 You want to stay healthy?

01:33:26.000 Yeah. Ever since I come out of the hospital a month ago, everything's fucking changed.

01:33:30.000 Come out of here, Joey.

01:33:30.000 Get you on that Ways to Well.

01:33:32.000 I think we're going tomorrow.

01:33:33.000 Come on, we're going tomorrow.

01:33:35.000 Are you busy tomorrow?

01:33:36.000 If you're here, I'm not busy.

01:33:37.000 All right, let's go.

01:33:39.000 I like that blood thing they did.

01:33:41.000 Yes. What's that called?

01:33:42.000 Did you get an IV bag?

01:33:43.000 No, it was a little one.

01:33:45.000 It wasn't a big IV.

01:33:46.000 So you're talking about a stem cell push?

01:33:50.000 Push, yeah. 0.92

01:33:51.000 Yeah, IV stem cells, yeah.

01:33:53.000 I just got that Tuesday.

01:33:55.000 I brought Rich Voss in.

01:33:56.000 How was he?

01:33:57.000 He was great.

01:33:58.000 I love that guy to death.

01:33:59.000 I love him, too.

01:33:59.000 We had a good time.

01:34:00.000 We had a good time at the club, too.

01:34:01.000 I see him a lot.

01:34:03.000 I see him every Wednesday.

01:34:04.000 Well, he's Jersey, too, right?

01:34:05.000 Yeah, every Wednesday we meet up and do a show.

01:34:08.000 He's a sweetheart.

01:34:08.000 I love him to death.

01:34:09.000 So he's been having a problem with his rotator cuff.

01:34:11.000 So I brought him down to Brigham.

01:34:14.000 Brigham's got this crazy thing.

01:34:15.000 I'm going to show you this, Jamie, because it's fucking bananas.

01:34:17.000 He's got this crazy thing where he's got an AI that you ask questions to.

01:34:23.000 Have you seen it, Jamie?

01:34:24.000 It's fucking nuts, right?

01:34:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:26.000 Hey, can you tell me the history of testosterone and prostate cancer?

01:34:31.000 Here, I'll send this to you, Jamie.

01:34:36.000 So Brigham has this new, beautiful facility where Waste Well is.

01:34:41.000 It's a great view.

01:34:42.000 Oh, they moved?

01:34:43.000 They moved.

01:34:44.000 They have a new facility.

01:34:45.000 Okay. They bought a building and re-renovated it, and it's incredible.

01:34:49.000 But one of the things they have is this big screen with this alien.

01:34:54.000 And you touch the alien and ask it a question, and it uses AI.

01:35:00.000 Like, so it has an AI, a large language model base.

01:35:04.000 Press, listen to this.

01:35:06.000 Press it.

01:35:07.000 Hey, can you tell me the history of testosterone and prostate cancer?

01:35:12.000 My doctor said he's worried it's going to cause prostate cancer.

01:35:15.000 What do you have to say?

01:35:16.000 So the alien, like, thinks about it.

01:35:20.000 The concern stems from a 1941 study by Huggins that suggested testosterone fueled prostate cancer, but this has been thoroughly debunked by modern research, particularly by Dr. Abraham Morgenthaler.

01:35:32.000 Current evidence shows no causal relationship between testosterone therapy and prostate cancer development.

01:35:38.000 In fact, many men with prostate cancer have low testosterone levels.

01:35:42.000 The outdated theory misunderstood how testosterone interacts with prostate tissue.

01:35:46.000 And numerous studies now show properly monitored testosterone therapy is safe for most men, even those with a history of prostate cancer in some cases.

01:35:56.000 Isn't that wild?

01:35:58.000 That's amazing.

01:35:59.000 That's the future.

01:35:59.000 It can answer any question.

01:36:01.000 It could analyze your blood work.

01:36:02.000 You could tell it, hey, you know, my vitamin B12 level is this.

01:36:07.000 My testosterone level is that.

01:36:09.000 What would you suggest I take?

01:36:11.000 What I suggest is a protocol of, and it would just like rattle off things that you need.

01:36:16.000 You need some niacin in your system.

01:36:18.000 Do you take magnesium before you go to bed?

01:36:21.000 How much REM sleep are you getting per night?

01:36:23.000 Are you monitoring that?

01:36:24.000 And they start talking to you.

01:36:26.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:36:27.000 It's an app, too.

01:36:28.000 It's on your phone.

01:36:29.000 What were these people talking about last night at the club?

01:36:31.000 They go on ChatGPT or some shit?

01:36:33.000 You don't know what that is?

01:36:34.000 No. ChatGPT is AI.

01:36:38.000 It's on your phone.

01:36:39.000 You can ask it a question.

01:36:42.000 Give me a good question.

01:36:47.000 Who was the composer of Suwannee River?

01:36:50.000 Who was the composer of Suwannee River?

01:36:53.000 So you see how my phone has all those rainbows on the outside like that?

01:36:55.000 That means it's searching for the answer.

01:36:57.000 And boom. 0.96

01:36:58.000 Gives me the answer.

01:37:01.000 Can you go on ChatDPT and tell me more about Stephen Foster, the composer of Suwannee River?

01:37:13.000 Bam. And then it goes on ChatGPT.

01:37:17.000 I'm an AI design assistant.

01:37:19.000 Feel free to ask anything.

01:37:22.000 What Disney movies are the most racist?

01:37:27.000 Working with ChatGPT right now.

01:37:31.000 It hung up on me.

01:37:35.000 The reason why I asked...

01:37:36.000 ChatGPT told me to go fuck myself.

01:37:40.000 It disconnected.

01:37:43.000 One of the greatest episodes.

01:37:45.000 You were talking to me a couple weeks ago.

01:37:47.000 We were talking about you watched the Gleason interview on 60 Minutes.

01:37:53.000 Yes, yes.

01:37:55.000 You know I watch The Honeymooners every Saturday.

01:37:57.000 Do you really?

01:37:58.000 Every Saturday at midnight.

01:37:59.000 I don't have time for anything else.

01:38:01.000 I got to be home by midnight on Saturdays, okay?

01:38:04.000 And the reason why I said Suwannee River to you is that is one of the best episodes that Gleason ever did.

01:38:11.000 He was going on the...

01:38:12.000 $95,000 question.

01:38:14.000 And you have to go up levels?

01:38:16.000 Yeah. And they ask you questions.

01:38:18.000 He picked music.

01:38:20.000 So he had his buddy, Norton, get all the sheet music and Norton would play music for him and go, who is this?

01:38:28.000 And he would have to say, and then the Italian lady, Miss Manicotti, would come down. 0.99

01:38:33.000 It was a great episode.

01:38:35.000 But there's one scene where Norton would play and he'd go, Norton, why the fuck do you...

01:38:39.000 Here it is.

01:38:41.000 Why the fuck do you play this?

01:38:44.000 Watch this.

01:38:46.000 Come on! 0.61

01:38:47.000 Look at me!

01:38:49.000 This is my last night to brush up on the songs.

01:38:52.000 Now let's not waste any time.

01:38:53.000 Get going.

01:38:54.000 all right

01:39:01.000 Will you wait a minute, please?

01:39:03.000 Why must you always play da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da before you go in and play the song I'm trying to guess?

01:39:11.000 If I told you once, I told you a hundred times.

01:39:14.000 It's the only way I can warm up before I play the piano.

01:39:16.000 A pitcher warms up before he pitches a ball game?

01:39:19.000 I gotta warm up that way before I play the piano.

01:39:21.000 I hope I don't have to tell you this again.

01:39:23.000 Are you ready?

01:39:24.000 Go ahead and play.

01:39:25.000 Go ahead and play.

01:39:35.000 Alright, now go to the end so Joe can see it.

01:39:39.000 So he goes...

01:39:40.000 Time's running out.

01:39:41.000 Hurry up.

01:39:41.000 You better take a guess.

01:39:42.000 No, play the song for him so he sees.

01:39:47.000 Look at his face,

01:40:03.000 bro. That's right, Swanee River.

01:40:08.000 Can we have a few bars at Swanee River, Jose?

01:40:16.000 That's Swanee River?

01:40:17.000 That's right.

01:40:18.000 Now, who's the composer?

01:40:19.000 Your time's running out.

01:40:19.000 Hurry up, you better take a guess.

01:40:21.000 Hamala, hamala, hamala.

01:40:22.000 Hamala, hamala.

01:40:29.000 Ed Norton?

01:40:30.000 Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Cramden.

01:40:35.000 No, the correct answer is Stephen Foster.

01:40:37.000 But thanks so much.

01:40:38.000 You've been a wonderful contestant and a swell sport.

01:40:40.000 Goodbye, Mr. Cramden.

01:40:42.000 His fucking face, dog. 0.93

01:40:47.000 The 60-minute interview was great, wasn't it?

01:40:49.000 It blew me the fuck away.

01:40:51.000 It was great.

01:40:51.000 Just listening to him talk.

01:40:53.000 That was when he was just playing golf and drinking.

01:40:56.000 He had that crazy golf cart that he would drive around in.

01:41:01.000 What's the book I read where he taught Richard Pryor how to smoke pot, like how to hide it?

01:41:06.000 They did a movie, The Toy, right?

01:41:07.000 Didn't they do The Toy?

01:41:08.000 He taught him how to hide it?

01:41:09.000 Yeah, because Richard Pryor lit a joint up one day, and he's like, what are you doing?

01:41:12.000 Come on, you gotta have some class.

01:41:15.000 How do you hide it?

01:41:16.000 You know, under your hand.

01:41:17.000 Oh. Mix it with the cigar.

01:41:19.000 He thought Richard was smoking it out, and Jackie Gleason goes, what are you doing, man?

01:41:23.000 Come on.

01:41:24.000 Nice. Smoke it like this.

01:41:26.000 Richard Pryor's like, this motherfucker taught me how to smoke a joint.

01:41:28.000 So he would tuck it away.

01:41:29.000 And he was 20 years older.

01:41:31.000 You know, Jack Gleason was a fucking beast, man.

01:41:33.000 That guy partied. 0.58

01:41:35.000 He did a lot of partying.

01:41:37.000 He died fairly young, you know.

01:41:38.000 How old was he?

01:41:40.000 I want to say close to 60. I think it was a couple different kinds of cancer.

01:41:50.000 How old was he when he died, Jamie?

01:41:53.000 Yeah. Oh, was he?

01:41:57.000 Oh, he's 71?

01:41:58.000 Oh, that's not so bad.

01:41:59.000 No, that's still...

01:42:00.000 The National Eye was 74, right?

01:42:02.000 Yeah. I thought he died younger than that.

01:42:04.000 No. But yeah, hard living.

01:42:09.000 Hard living.

01:42:09.000 Yeah. Do you ever hear the story about him and Richard Nixon?

01:42:12.000 No. Richard Nixon and him were getting drunk one night, and Richard Nixon goes, you want to see some UFOs?

01:42:17.000 And so they get on Air Force One, and they fly to one of the Air Force bases where they have this fucking crashed UFO and alien bodies on ice.

01:42:27.000 Jackie Gleason apparently becomes obsessed with UFOs after this, has a house built in upstate New York that looks like a UFO.

01:42:34.000 His house was a flying saucer.

01:42:36.000 He had a house built that looked like a UFO.

01:42:39.000 And the story's unsubstantiated.

01:42:43.000 It's hard to know if it's true, but it was like his ex-wife told it in some magazine, right?

01:42:49.000 But it tracks.

01:42:51.000 It tracks with, if you believe these people that say that there was Some sort of a crash that they did recover, then they do have bodies.

01:43:00.000 So this is his fucking house.

01:43:02.000 He has a house built.

01:43:03.000 That's one image of it, but there's other images of what looks even more like a flying saucer.

01:43:07.000 Isn't that wild?

01:43:09.000 That kind of looks normal like a house there, though, but the guy built a flying saucer house.

01:43:17.000 Nixon and him got hammered.

01:43:19.000 I'm hoping that's gonna happen with me and Trump, but Trump doesn't get drunk.

01:43:25.000 You imagine you're hanging out with Trump and he's like, you want to see the UFO?

01:43:30.000 Can you keep a secret?

01:43:33.000 Yeah, there he is, hanging out with Nixon.

01:43:36.000 And they supposedly do have something that crashed and they supposedly do have biological entities that are on ice somewhere.

01:43:45.000 According to these whistleblowers that work for the government and now we're talking about, I just don't know what's real.

01:43:51.000 It's hard to know.

01:43:53.000 When you talk about it, you feel like a moron.

01:43:55.000 Because it's like...

01:43:56.000 There's got to be something out there.

01:43:59.000 We've got to assume there's something out there.

01:44:01.000 Whether or not...

01:44:02.000 I don't even know.

01:44:04.000 Right, but should we assume that something's been here?

01:44:06.000 Yeah. Yeah.

01:44:08.000 I think so.

01:44:09.000 Yeah, they've been here.

01:44:10.000 Well, I would come here if I was from somewhere else.

01:44:13.000 Imagine if you're from some super advanced civilization that's completely...

01:44:20.000 Abandoned war.

01:44:21.000 There's no thievery.

01:44:22.000 Everybody reads everybody's minds.

01:44:24.000 There's no unfairness because they've worked all that stuff out.

01:44:27.000 And it's just superior intellect because everybody's evolved for a million years past where we are now.

01:44:33.000 And you get the opportunity to see what a breakthrough civilization looks like right when they're figuring out nuclear power, right when they're figuring out flight and war and cell phones and shit like that.

01:44:45.000 That would be like you and I going back and going and visiting the real Wild West.

01:44:51.000 Like being in a gold mining town in 1830.

01:44:56.000 You know how nuts that would be?

01:44:58.000 You know how fucking crazy.

01:45:00.000 Be one of the minor 49ers in 1849 going all the way to San Francisco and these fucking animals stabbing each other in saloons.

01:45:08.000 You know what that would be like?

01:45:10.000 That's insane.

01:45:11.000 The kind of barbarians that took a chance with wooden wheels getting pulled by a horse and went across mountain ranges to try to get to the gold, that would be like us going to visit that. 0.94

01:45:23.000 Of course we would visit that.

01:45:25.000 Of course.

01:45:26.000 Like, if you had a chance to see what it would like to see Christopher Columbus land in the Bahamas, to see what that must have been like, of course you would want to see it.

01:45:36.000 If you could go literally back in time and see primitive humans, Well, if they're just like us, but they're like us millions of years from now, of course they would want to visit us. 0.96

01:45:45.000 It would be so interesting.

01:45:47.000 Can you imagine if there was a planet where we could go, where we could see cavemen?

01:45:52.000 We'd go.

01:45:53.000 Would you imagine?

01:45:54.000 Of course we would.

01:45:57.000 But it's...

01:45:58.000 Well, you can see guys making fucking arrowheads with flint for the first time and strapping them to sticks, giant fucking heads and big teeth, covered in hair, just figuring out tools.

01:46:09.000 Oh, my God.

01:46:10.000 We would be fascinated by those people.

01:46:11.000 The way I think about it is, listen, since I'm a kid, we're talking about Martians and aliens, right?

01:46:17.000 Since I'm fucking...

01:46:18.000 Yeah. Six, seven.

01:46:19.000 I've been hearing about this.

01:46:21.000 The moon landing was in 69, so I was six.

01:46:24.000 So it started after that.

01:46:25.000 Like, I heard more and more about it.

01:46:27.000 So what you mean to tell me is in 55 years we haven't found out more information about it?

01:46:32.000 We know.

01:46:33.000 We know what's going on.

01:46:34.000 We know.

01:46:35.000 NASA's not stupid.

01:46:37.000 They know something's out there.

01:46:38.000 They play with us a little bit from time to time.

01:46:40.000 But there's something out there, my friend.

01:46:42.000 I think so, too.

01:46:43.000 There's something out there.

01:46:44.000 I think the other problem with the president knowing...

01:46:47.000 You know, can they keep things from the president?

01:46:49.000 Of course they can.

01:46:49.000 The president is only there for four years.

01:46:51.000 And then he has to get in there again.

01:46:53.000 And if he wins, he's only there for four more years.

01:46:55.000 These fucking people have 30-year careers, 50-year careers in the intelligence agencies.

01:47:00.000 If they know something, and they've known something since, you know, fucking Gerald Ford, why would they tell you?

01:47:07.000 Why do you need to know?

01:47:08.000 We've already been hiding this from the population for so long.

01:47:11.000 And those old-timers didn't need a... 0.99

01:47:13.000 What's that when you have to sign something?

01:47:15.000 NDA? NDA, like N-A-D, whatever the fuck.

01:47:17.000 Yeah, there was no NDAs back then.

01:47:20.000 There was something to it.

01:47:22.000 Yeah. There was something to it.

01:47:23.000 You know, you got that place in New Mexico, you got Hudson County, what we discussed before, with the Martians landing.

01:47:31.000 You have all these places that have a higher volume.

01:47:34.000 I wonder what's number two in UFO sightings.

01:47:37.000 I wonder what's number one.

01:47:39.000 What's number one?

01:47:39.000 Is it Hudson Valley?

01:47:40.000 Yeah, Hudson Valley by the...

01:47:42.000 George Washington Bridge, that whole thing.

01:47:44.000 That's crazy.

01:47:45.000 That's number one.

01:47:47.000 I wonder what number two, number three, and number four is.

01:47:50.000 It's interesting that a lot of them are over near where the ocean is.

01:47:53.000 Because that's one of the big theories.

01:47:55.000 They have bases in the ocean.

01:47:57.000 Because the reality of the ocean is, no one's looking.

01:48:01.000 You know, if you have something on Earth, satellites can see it.

01:48:05.000 Like, if you have something that's in the middle of Nevada, in some deserted area, and you have buildings, satellites can see that.

01:48:13.000 They can see the structures.

01:48:14.000 So you have to hide them.

01:48:15.000 But if you have something in the ocean, nobody sees anything.

01:48:18.000 We've only explored...

01:48:19.000 What is the percentage of the ocean floor that we have explored?

01:48:24.000 I think it's like 10%.

01:48:25.000 I think it's somewhere around 10%, maybe 20%.

01:48:28.000 So that means that 80% of the ocean floor is undiscovered.

01:48:33.000 We have no idea what's down there.

01:48:35.000 You know, a mile, two miles deep in some spots.

01:48:38.000 If you're from a super sophisticated civilization that's millions of light years away and you can come here instantaneously and you have the ability to traverse in these what they call transmedium craft, which means they can go through air, go through water.

01:48:53.000 It creates a gravity bubble around it and go through everything.

01:48:56.000 That's what they think these things are doing.

01:48:58.000 That's what they can go 500 knots underwater.

01:49:02.000 Like nothing we have could do that.

01:49:05.000 If they have bases under the ocean, it makes sense that these sightings are all near the ocean.

01:49:09.000 It just totally makes sense.

01:49:11.000 A lot happens in the ocean.

01:49:13.000 That ocean's stronger than what you fucking think.

01:49:15.000 Yeah. I love going to a beach and just sitting on the beach and watching the ocean.

01:49:20.000 Seabed 2030.

01:49:21.000 Seabed 2030, what they've mapped out?

01:49:23.000 They've gotten 30% mapped.

01:49:25.000 They're trying to get the whole thing done by 2030.

01:49:27.000 Oh, really?

01:49:28.000 Oh, interesting.

01:49:29.000 Oh, what if they find a base?

01:49:30.000 Yeah. What if they get down there and they find bases?

01:49:33.000 What is all that stuff?

01:49:34.000 What are those lines?

01:49:36.000 I'm guessing that's where they probably sent their drones, probably.

01:49:39.000 Whoa! It looks like a pool scrubber.

01:49:41.000 Oh, that's crazy!

01:49:43.000 Holy shit.

01:49:44.000 So they're scouring the ocean floor to try to get them out.

01:49:47.000 That's why the aliens are going to come out.

01:49:49.000 Wow, that's Hawaii.

01:49:51.000 Whoa! Oh, that's not Hawaii.

01:49:52.000 Hawaii's over here.

01:49:53.000 It is?

01:49:54.000 What's that?

01:49:54.000 What are those islands in the middle?

01:49:56.000 Is that Catalina?

01:49:56.000 Catalina and shit, yeah.

01:49:57.000 Oh, I see.

01:49:58.000 Oh, you were zoomed in.

01:49:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:59.000 Oh, okay.

01:50:00.000 I was trying to see what this stuff is.

01:50:01.000 Oh, I see.

01:50:02.000 I think these little...

01:50:02.000 Light-colored brown spots are what's sticking up, and the rest of it's underneath.

01:50:06.000 Mmm. Wow.

01:50:08.000 I gotta pee real quick.

01:50:09.000 Go ahead, dog.

01:50:10.000 We'll pause.

01:50:11.000 Yeah. We'll be right back, folks.

01:50:13.000 Woo! And we're back.

01:50:14.000 What were we just talking about?

01:50:17.000 Aliens and whatnot.

01:50:18.000 And whatnot.

01:50:20.000 Yeah. You know, I feel that we know.

01:50:22.000 We're just not gonna...

01:50:22.000 You know, it's like everything else, man.

01:50:24.000 We know who shot Kennedy.

01:50:25.000 We're not gonna release it.

01:50:26.000 You know, we're gonna play with us.

01:50:27.000 That's what they do.

01:50:28.000 I think that they would be a...

01:50:30.000 I think even after all the alien talk and everything, I think Americans couldn't really handle it.

01:50:37.000 Well, there was actually a discussion.

01:50:39.000 This guy Hal Puthoff, who is a physicist that worked with the U.S. government, told me that during the Bush administration, they actually wanted to talk about the potential of disclosure to the American people, what would be the pros and the cons.

01:50:53.000 And so they listed what could be disrupted.

01:50:56.000 Well, the economy could be disrupted.

01:50:58.000 Religion could be disrupted.

01:51:00.000 Government could be disrupted.

01:51:02.000 What would be the positive aspects?

01:51:04.000 And they started looking at the positive aspects like scientific development, the understanding that we're not alone.

01:51:10.000 And then they weighed it all out.

01:51:12.000 And the cons outweighed the pros by a significant number.

01:51:16.000 And so they decided not to disclose it.

01:51:19.000 This is what Hal Puthoff says.

01:51:20.000 So he is a scientist that's worked with the government for decades.

01:51:25.000 And he, you know, I had dinner with him and Jacques Vallée.

01:51:28.000 Jacques Vallée is the guy who the character in Close Encounters of the Third Kind was based on, the French guy, the scientist.

01:51:34.000 Jacques Vallée has been studying UFOs since, like, I think the 50s.

01:51:37.000 Brilliant, brilliant guy.

01:51:38.000 He's written tons of books on the subject.

01:51:41.000 And the stories that he knows, that he's aware of, the historical stories, what really gets crazy is when they get into, like, the 1700s and the 1800s and the early 1900s.

01:51:50.000 They're the same stories.

01:51:52.000 People are seeing the same things.

01:51:53.000 The same kind of things are happening to these people.

01:51:55.000 The people that are encountering the crafts and encountering the beings.

01:51:59.000 They're reporting the same stories.

01:52:01.000 They're real similar.

01:52:03.000 To the point where you're like, what's going on?

01:52:05.000 And if it's real unique in like...

01:52:08.000 You know, I haven't seen UFO.

01:52:10.000 I haven't seen aliens.

01:52:11.000 You haven't.

01:52:12.000 Jamie hasn't.

01:52:13.000 But what if one of us did?

01:52:14.000 Like, if there's millions and millions and millions of people and one guy is fucking walking his dog in the middle of a field and all of a sudden this thing just lands right in front of him and no one's around.

01:52:25.000 And then these things get out and they look at you and they're talking to you with their mind.

01:52:30.000 And then they get back in their ship and they fucking...

01:52:33.000 Disappear. They zoom off so fast.

01:52:35.000 You can't even follow it with your eyes.

01:52:37.000 And then you're sitting there going, what the fuck do I tell anybody?

01:52:40.000 Who's going to believe me?

01:52:42.000 Who's going to believe this?

01:52:43.000 I should probably not tell anybody.

01:52:45.000 And then you're lying in bed at night and you're all freaked out because you can't believe you know something other people don't know.

01:52:50.000 You know the most incredible thing.

01:52:52.000 That not only are they real, but they can do things that we can't possibly do.

01:52:57.000 They cannot be us.

01:52:59.000 There's something different.

01:53:00.000 It's a different life form.

01:53:02.000 I think when they came here, maybe somebody painted them as green or whatever.

01:53:05.000 Me, I feel that if they're here, they walk around looking like us.

01:53:09.000 They're a more intelligent life source, like the movie Cocoon.

01:53:16.000 Right. That's in my mind.

01:53:20.000 I'm the type of guy I'll talk to you about.

01:53:21.000 Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

01:53:23.000 Yeah, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. 0.83

01:53:24.000 I'm the type of guy I'll talk to you about.

01:53:25.000 But just talking to you just now about.

01:53:29.000 Somebody, the government telling me that aliens exist, it would knock me down.

01:53:33.000 Because I know they do, but not really.

01:53:35.000 But not really.

01:53:37.000 I know they do, but not really.

01:53:39.000 And that's, I think, with everything.

01:53:40.000 So it would even shock me a little bit to find out.

01:53:43.000 But I think that, yeah, cocoon-type people.

01:53:45.000 Jacques Vallée is of that opinion, too.

01:53:49.000 What's interesting about him is he really maintains scientific credibility after all these years, despite...

01:53:56.000 Like studying UFOs back in the time where if you studied UFOs, you were a crackpot.

01:54:02.000 But... Everything he looked at was just based on logic.

01:54:05.000 This is what we know, and this is what we don't know.

01:54:08.000 This is what we can prove.

01:54:09.000 This is what we can't prove.

01:54:10.000 And we estimate that there's a certain percentage of these experiences, whether it's 5% or what, that are legitimate.

01:54:16.000 There's a great number.

01:54:18.000 The vast majority of things that people see in the sky are not UFOs.

01:54:22.000 No. But I guarantee we do see things that we think is something else, and it's a UFO.

01:54:27.000 Yeah. I could see that.

01:54:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:31.000 People see the Saturn.

01:54:33.000 They think Saturn's a UFO.

01:54:35.000 People see things, too.

01:54:37.000 And then there's also a weird phenomenon that's real, like ball lightning.

01:54:41.000 Ball lightning is a type of lightning that juts around like a ball, like a giant softball of lightning just darting around the sky, and then it goes away.

01:54:51.000 And it's just a weird form of lightning that is...

01:54:55.000 It's been documented.

01:54:56.000 But if you saw that, if you were in the middle of, like, New Mexico by yourself camping and you saw that, you're like, fuck, man!

01:55:01.000 You think it's a fairy or something like that?

01:55:03.000 Oh my god, man, angels are back here on mushrooms.

01:55:06.000 And you see ball lightning, you're like, what the fuck, man?

01:55:09.000 You're seeing traces behind the ball lightning.

01:55:12.000 You would 100% believe and feel like you came in contact with an angel.

01:55:17.000 You would believe and feel like something from another planet communicated with you.

01:55:21.000 You'd probably fill your head up with all this important shit that it told you that you have to tell people.

01:55:26.000 I've got to tell people, man, we're doing it all wrong.

01:55:28.000 We're all one, man.

01:55:30.000 We're all one.

01:55:31.000 We can't be fighting these wars.

01:55:32.000 It's so foolish, and they want us to know.

01:55:35.000 They want us to take care of Mother Earth.

01:55:37.000 Meanwhile, you just saw a ball lightning while you were on mushrooms.

01:55:41.000 You know, when I lived in Boulder, I got into a hole one time.

01:55:45.000 I was talking to some guy.

01:55:46.000 He was talking to me about mermaids.

01:55:48.000 Oh, God.

01:55:49.000 At a coffee shop.

01:55:50.000 And it drove me fucking crazy.

01:55:52.000 It drove me so crazy.

01:55:54.000 I didn't have a computer back then, but I actually had to go to the library, and I went down a hole.

01:55:59.000 And maybe 10 years ago, I went online one night and got high and was reading about mermaids.

01:56:03.000 Like, that's something I believed in.

01:56:05.000 The dumbest thing about mermaids is they have a fish from the waist down. 1.00

01:56:08.000 Right, but weren't they actually spotted in the 1800s somewhere?

01:56:12.000 Or is this a lie?

01:56:15.000 It don't even make any sense.

01:56:17.000 Like, fish don't have sex, you fucking idiot.

01:56:20.000 That means it's the most beautiful one in the world from the waist up, and all she do is give you blowjobs. 1.00

01:56:24.000 Because fish don't have sex. 1.00

01:56:25.000 That's okay.

01:56:27.000 That's not my problem.

01:56:28.000 I'm not looking to have sex with a chick. 1.00

01:56:30.000 But people are.

01:56:31.000 They want to fall in love with a mermaid.

01:56:33.000 But, like, that's the craziest person to fall in love with.

01:56:35.000 Is there any evidence?

01:56:36.000 No. Come on. 0.88

01:56:37.000 No, they're manatees.

01:56:39.000 These people saw manatees.

01:56:41.000 Probably their eyesight sucked, because they all had scurvy.

01:56:44.000 They were all fucking starving to death.

01:56:46.000 They all had syphilis.

01:56:47.000 Their faces are falling off.

01:56:49.000 These rotten scumbags that are on these boats together.

01:56:51.000 And then they're so horny that they want to fuck manatees. 1.00

01:56:55.000 They see manatees in the foggy water flopping around.

01:56:59.000 I swear it's a girl with a tail! 1.00

01:57:01.000 And they want to hop off.

01:57:02.000 They're like a guy in the desert that sees an oasis that's not there.

01:57:06.000 I see water!

01:57:07.000 And you're just trying to drink the sand.

01:57:09.000 That's what it is.

01:57:10.000 Come on.

01:57:10.000 There's got to be a mermaid out there.

01:57:12.000 So these horny scumbags. 1.00

01:57:14.000 From, like, Europe in the 1500s.

01:57:18.000 These monsters.

01:57:18.000 They were on this boat together for four months.

01:57:21.000 And they think they see women in the water.

01:57:23.000 Goddammit, you just ruined everything.

01:57:27.000 They were probably on opium.

01:57:29.000 They probably had syphilis.

01:57:31.000 They were drunk.

01:57:32.000 That's why you gotta love the 80s.

01:57:34.000 Animals. That's why you gotta love the 80s.

01:57:35.000 Because two guys actually went into the studio and go, look, we got a movie.

01:57:40.000 About a fucking guy who falls in love with a mermaid.

01:57:45.000 And the guy's like, come on, how you gotta do that?

01:57:48.000 And all of a sudden, it's fucked.

01:57:49.000 Let me tell you something, that's another good movie.

01:57:51.000 You know, Joey, that's a good point.

01:57:52.000 This is one of the reasons why America became what it is, is that everybody who moved here initially took a crazy chance.

01:58:02.000 You ought to take a crazy chance.

01:58:04.000 You ought to get in a boat.

01:58:06.000 In the 1700s?

01:58:08.000 And make your way across the Atlantic Ocean?

01:58:12.000 You have no idea if storms are coming.

01:58:14.000 There's no fucking weather.com.

01:58:16.000 You don't even know what it looks like over here because they don't have pictures yet.

01:58:22.000 Someone's going to draw you.

01:58:24.000 This is what I saw when I visit Maryland.

01:58:29.000 I told you there's a fucking mermaid you fucked. 1.00

01:58:32.000 Look at that fucking fake thing.

01:58:34.000 He sewed a fish bottom onto a monkey's body or something like that.

01:58:38.000 Oh, Jesus Christ, that's hilarious.

01:58:41.000 That's one of the reasons why America became so powerful.

01:58:45.000 The two things.

01:58:46.000 The Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, like that stuff.

01:58:52.000 All the laws that gave you freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, the right to practice your own religion, all those things are incredible, but also the type of people that moved here.

01:59:02.000 Crazy, risk-taking motherfuckers that were willing to get their kids and get on a boat and make it across the country. 0.99

01:59:09.000 So everybody that came over here was just fucking gung-ho.

01:59:12.000 They're all wild folk.

01:59:14.000 Wild, dangerous people trying to get jobs on the East Coast.

01:59:19.000 That's still to this day why the East Coast is so crazy, so chaotic and so fun.

01:59:24.000 Because that was like the echoes of these pioneering monsters that travel their way across the ocean.

01:59:31.000 Crazy people, desperate for anything.

01:59:34.000 Europe just sucks so bad.

01:59:36.000 Like, we got to get the fuck out of here.

01:59:38.000 Whether it's from Spain or Ireland or where...

01:59:41.000 Boats, just boats.

01:59:43.000 Italians, boats. 1.00

01:59:45.000 And then they...

01:59:47.000 Make their way across the land and then, you know, cover the whole thing eventually.

01:59:51.000 And in a few hundred years.

01:59:53.000 It's a crazy story, man.

01:59:55.000 And we got to be careful of this place.

01:59:58.000 You can't sacrifice the things that made us so great in terms of our freedom just for political gain.

02:00:06.000 Because then we're going to give the whole thing away.

02:00:09.000 And we could go the same way Iran's going. 0.80

02:00:12.000 The same way they had a European-style country, and now it's a dictatorship, and now it's Islamic, and there's no getting out of that now without some crazy revolution, right? 1.00

02:00:26.000 It could go that way anywhere, man.

02:00:28.000 If there's people anywhere on Earth in 2025 living under the thumb of tyranny, there can be people here.

02:00:35.000 It's just a bunch of things have to go wrong.

02:00:37.000 We saw a few things go wrong during COVID that should have woke a lot of people up.

02:00:42.000 That the fabric of society is more fragile than you think it is.

02:00:46.000 And that's why the Founding Fathers are so wise.

02:00:48.000 They put into play protections to keep tyranny from taking over.

02:00:53.000 They had a bunch of checks and balances that you can't get through.

02:00:57.000 You don't have ultimate power like a king.

02:00:59.000 You have Congress.

02:01:00.000 You have the Senate.

02:01:01.000 You have the Supreme Court.

02:01:04.000 It's got to be like that.

02:01:07.000 You can't change that just because you want your side to win.

02:01:10.000 Everybody has to be aware of that.

02:01:12.000 Everybody gets short-sighted.

02:01:14.000 Democrats get short-sighted on this.

02:01:16.000 Republicans get short-sighted on this.

02:01:18.000 You can't have that happen.

02:01:19.000 It's not good for anybody.

02:01:20.000 It's not good for us.

02:01:21.000 If you think your opinions and your beliefs and what you know is more beneficial to the American people, state your case.

02:01:31.000 That should be the only thing we do.

02:01:33.000 These people should be able to state their case.

02:01:35.000 Explain how what you can do.

02:01:37.000 We should demand that.

02:01:38.000 And all that other shit.

02:01:40.000 Stop it.

02:01:41.000 Just get rid of it.

02:01:42.000 Get rid of all of it.

02:01:43.000 Get rid of all of it.

02:01:45.000 No one should be pro-crime.

02:01:48.000 No one should be letting people off the hook for violent crimes.

02:01:50.000 No one should be letting gang members live in some sanctuary city from another country that come over here just to cause havoc and create crime because we have weak policing and because we let them in.

02:02:02.000 No side should want that.

02:02:04.000 No side should want the country to be more dangerous.

02:02:07.000 And no side should want people deported to El Salvador prisons that aren't really gang members either.

02:02:12.000 No side should want no due process.

02:02:15.000 No side should want the ability of the government to, like, imagine, like, you're a person who's over here illegally, but you're not a criminal.

02:02:22.000 You're just a guy who doesn't have paperwork, and then they send you to a prison somewhere.

02:02:26.000 Someone decides, because of your tattoos, that you're in a gang.

02:02:28.000 So now all of a sudden you're in a prison in another country, and you haven't even been to trial.

02:02:32.000 We can't let that happen either.

02:02:34.000 You know?

02:02:35.000 Did you see that fucking prison where they took them, Nicaragua, whatever that place?

02:02:39.000 It's in El Salvador.

02:02:39.000 El Salvador, where they house them, 40 in the...

02:02:41.000 Bro, it's crazy.

02:02:43.000 That's fucking insane.

02:02:44.000 It's crazy.

02:02:45.000 That's insanity, brother.

02:02:46.000 And apparently they have unmarked graves.

02:02:48.000 You know, people die, they get strangled, whatever, take them to the back, unmarked grave.

02:02:52.000 You know, it's complete dehumanizing of people as an overcorrection to having too much crime and gang violence.

02:03:01.000 So, too much crime and gang violence, then you throw all due process out the window, round everybody up, throw them all in jail.

02:03:07.000 And if you're going to do that, a certain percentage of them are...

02:03:10.000 I mean, it's going to be effective.

02:03:11.000 You're definitely going to curb crime.

02:03:13.000 But you're also going to victimize a few innocent people, a certain percentage of innocent people, like undoubtedly, especially if you have a new due process.

02:03:22.000 Listen, man, we know that.

02:03:24.000 Like, this is...

02:03:24.000 This can't come to America.

02:03:27.000 And if we're sending our prisoners over there, how much different is that than the other stuff that we hate, like sending jobs overseas where people work for a dollar a day and don't get health care?

02:03:41.000 We would never allow that in America, right?

02:03:43.000 Well, we would never allow this kind of a prison in America either.

02:03:47.000 So should we really be involved in sending people to this kind of a prison if they're from another country?

02:03:54.000 It's an interesting question.

02:03:56.000 These are tons of interesting topics.

02:03:58.000 I think there is a bit of a problem, right, if you come from one country and then they put you in a prison in another one without a trial.

02:04:08.000 If they say you're a gang member and you're in MS-13, you come from Mexico, you make your way into America, and all of a sudden they put you in an El Salvador prison, you're like, yo, what happened here?

02:04:16.000 They took a lot of...

02:04:18.000 A handful of people that had weird tattoos and stuff like that.

02:04:22.000 That's what I've heard, but I don't really know the truth.

02:04:25.000 No, you don't know the truth.

02:04:27.000 Because, you know, they were saying that they keep talking about this guy in the mainstream media, saying he's a Maryland father, but then that Tom Homan guy says, no, he's a member of MS-13.

02:04:37.000 And so, okay, who's telling the truth?

02:04:39.000 And they were saying that if he got deported and came back into this country, again, illegally, we would round him up again and do it all over again.

02:04:46.000 We didn't make a mistake.

02:04:48.000 Okay. Well, who's telling the truth?

02:04:50.000 Is he just a man that's mistaken identity?

02:04:54.000 Where's his police record?

02:04:55.000 Yeah. Right.

02:04:56.000 Let me see his police record.

02:04:57.000 If the guy has a tattoo and he's got no police record and he's got a family and a wife and blah, blah.

02:05:02.000 It's like, remember when we used to take me for chicken?

02:05:04.000 Which place?

02:05:06.000 By your old house?

02:05:07.000 20 years ago, he used to always invite me for chicken.

02:05:09.000 Oh, chicks! 1.00

02:05:10.000 The Spanish guy.

02:05:11.000 Oh, how good was that place?

02:05:13.000 He had that wood-fired rotisserie.

02:05:16.000 Absolutely. Only cash.

02:05:18.000 No credit cards.

02:05:19.000 Yeah, no credit cards.

02:05:19.000 That's what killed him.

02:05:20.000 So think about this.

02:05:21.000 What if he had that for 20 years?

02:05:23.000 Great guy, because I always went up there with you and he was very nice to us.

02:05:26.000 Yes, great guy.

02:05:27.000 What if they came and got him because he didn't have a green card?

02:05:31.000 He was a legal citizen.

02:05:32.000 No, no, no.

02:05:33.000 But he was legal?

02:05:34.000 He was legal.

02:05:35.000 He was second generation.

02:05:37.000 Okay. There's people that came and, you know, they're here.

02:05:40.000 Before I send them back...

02:05:41.000 Actually, I think he was more than second generation.

02:05:43.000 Yeah, I want to make sure that this guy had roots in the community.

02:05:47.000 I'm not going to just put him on a fucking plane show.

02:05:49.000 Yeah, but I think what you got to do is just get rid of criminals only.

02:05:55.000 But the only way to know if someone's a criminal is to have due process.

02:05:58.000 But it's not over a fucking tattoo.

02:06:01.000 No. It's due process.

02:06:02.000 It's due process.

02:06:03.000 That's all I want.

02:06:04.000 Because there's a lot of kids get stupid tattoos.

02:06:06.000 Yeah. And then you have them for life.

02:06:08.000 That'll fucking know.

02:06:08.000 You know, when I went to Japan, I couldn't work out in the gym, in the hotel.

02:06:13.000 They made me go up to my room, put a long-sleeved shirt on because of my sleeves.

02:06:17.000 You can't have open tattoos and work out at, like, a nice place because it's connected to the Yakuza. 0.96

02:06:24.000 Yeah. So you have to follow their rules.

02:06:29.000 They demand that you follow the rules.

02:06:32.000 That's crazy.

02:06:33.000 Yeah. I can't throw somebody back in a fucking prison like that just because of a tattoo.

02:06:40.000 I got to see something.

02:06:41.000 I got to see something.

02:06:42.000 He did something to disrupt the system.

02:06:45.000 Yeah, see the thing is I don't know.

02:06:47.000 I really don't know.

02:06:48.000 I don't know the truth of these cases because you get a biased Take from one side, oftentimes, and then you get a biased take from the other side, and they're duking it out to shape reality for you.

02:07:01.000 Now, in 85, I lived in San Francisco.

02:07:04.000 And I teamed up with a bunch of Cubans.

02:07:06.000 I came in 79. The Mario boat lived.

02:07:09.000 And, you know, you went over there every day, and I had to buy the old guy, the guy that ran the corner.

02:07:14.000 I had to buy him a little bottle of rum, a half pint.

02:07:16.000 And he would let you operate your game, whatever your game was, selling weed, whatever.

02:07:20.000 But my point of the story is that I remember this specifically.

02:07:24.000 From the time I got there to the time I left, there was probably 80 Cubans on the block.

02:07:29.000 Maybe 20 of them got arrested.

02:07:30.000 In those days, you got arrested.

02:07:32.000 You got deported like the following week.

02:07:35.000 If you got arrested.

02:07:36.000 They put you in jail.

02:07:38.000 If you didn't have paperwork or you came in that Cuban thing. 0.95

02:07:41.000 They would take you, right?

02:07:42.000 Immigration would come get you within 72 fucking hours, and you'd be right back in Cuba, and Fidel would shoot you. 0.91

02:07:48.000 See, it's one thing if you arrest someone for a crime, and then you deport them.

02:07:52.000 I get that.

02:07:53.000 But it's another thing when you're rounding up people because you think they look suspicious.

02:07:59.000 Like, during the first Trump administration, there's this dude who was a contractor who was doing something for my house, and he was an army veteran.

02:08:11.000 I think he was in for 20-plus years and worked at a management position at a big construction firm.

02:08:18.000 So he had a prestigious job.

02:08:20.000 He was a legit guy.

02:08:21.000 So he's at Home Depot, and he's dressed nice.

02:08:24.000 Polo shirt on, nice slacks.

02:08:27.000 He looks like a guy who has money.

02:08:29.000 These ICE guys pull him over and demand that he show them their paperwork.

02:08:36.000 And he's like, What the fuck are you guys doing?

02:08:41.000 And he says that to them.

02:08:42.000 And then he pulls out his army ID and his driver's license.

02:08:48.000 He's like, you can't do this.

02:08:49.000 You can't just come up to people.

02:08:51.000 He goes, I'm a fucking American citizen.

02:08:52.000 He goes, I was born in America and I served my country for 25 years.

02:08:56.000 And you fucking idiots are just going to harass me in the parking lot because my family is of Spanish descent?

02:09:02.000 The fuck away from me.

02:09:04.000 And, you know, he was hot, and he came to the house right from there.

02:09:09.000 It was telling me about this.

02:09:10.000 I was like, God damn.

02:09:12.000 Because here this guy is like a gentleman businessman, like sweetheart of a guy.

02:09:18.000 Wonderful to talk to, great to do business with, have a conversation with him.

02:09:21.000 Great guy.

02:09:22.000 They just looked at him because he's brown.

02:09:25.000 Like, that's it.

02:09:27.000 There's no way you could make any other way you're going to point to that guy and think he's an illegal.

02:09:33.000 That guy's driving a brand new Silverado with a construction logo on the side of it.

02:09:38.000 Shiny, clean car.

02:09:41.000 Polo shirt.

02:09:42.000 Slacks. Clipboard in hand. 1.00

02:09:45.000 Fuck you.

02:09:47.000 That's what I'm worried about.

02:09:49.000 I'm not worried about guys that get arrested.

02:09:52.000 I was worried when they came to Jersey.

02:09:54.000 I didn't go out that week.

02:09:56.000 I didn't do much.

02:09:57.000 I'm a Diaz.

02:09:58.000 I'm glad they didn't deport you.

02:09:59.000 No, but you never, listen.

02:10:01.000 Right, but if you did get arrested for a crime, you probably now would say, yeah, you should get deported.

02:10:07.000 Like, if you did a violent crime.

02:10:08.000 Yeah. Yeah.

02:10:09.000 Take me back.

02:10:12.000 But there's a difference between getting arrested for a violent crime and just going to Home Depot because you're brown.

02:10:18.000 That's great.

02:10:19.000 That's crazy.

02:10:20.000 And on this hall, this ice hall, listen.

02:10:23.000 You're picking up I don't know how many thousands of people, correct?

02:10:25.000 How many people did they pick up on this show?

02:10:27.000 I do not know.

02:10:27.000 That they ship back.

02:10:28.000 I do not know.

02:10:30.000 Doug, you're gonna have a couple clerical errors.

02:10:32.000 Well, you're gonna have- Listen.

02:10:34.000 More than that.

02:10:35.000 Even the computer will pick them.

02:10:37.000 Yeah. You know, it's just a clerical error.

02:10:41.000 But there's also- Just be big enough to say we made a clerical error.

02:10:45.000 Don't keep saying that I know you're a gang man because you got a fucking tattoo on.

02:10:49.000 Well, the thing is like that we don't know what's correct, right?

02:10:52.000 But there's not just clerical errors.

02:10:54.000 If you don't have due process, you also have the potential for people to potentially falsely accuse someone on purpose just so they could arrest them because they don't like them or they have a bad business dealing with them or there's some reason why they want to send this motherfucker to show him to El Salvador.

02:11:10.000 People are crazy.

02:11:11.000 They do shit like that all the time. 0.97

02:11:12.000 If you're just rounding people up and this guy that you fucking hate happens to be from...

02:11:19.000 Nicaragua, and you just fucking sick the dogs on them?

02:11:22.000 Have you got a hotline when people can call and rat on people?

02:11:25.000 People are rats.

02:11:27.000 There's a lot of rats.

02:11:28.000 Especially if you just have a wild number that you can call.

02:11:31.000 Wild number to turn people in.

02:11:33.000 Remember during COVID?

02:11:34.000 Like, they were giving people rewards for turning people in for having parties in LA.

02:11:40.000 And the mayor was saying, normally snitches get stitches, but now they get rewards.

02:11:46.000 Do you remember that?

02:11:47.000 Yeah, I do.

02:11:47.000 That retarded mayor that they had in L.A. during the entire time?

02:11:51.000 I don't even remember.

02:11:53.000 He was such a fucking...

02:11:54.000 Los Angelinos.

02:11:56.000 Oh, such...

02:11:57.000 Wasn't that guy?

02:11:58.000 Yeah. My favorite thing was when Black Lives Matter protested in front of his house.

02:12:02.000 Like, you're never woken up, bitch. 1.00

02:12:05.000 Well, this is my problem.

02:12:07.000 This guy.

02:12:08.000 Well, yeah, that guy.

02:12:09.000 What the fuck is his name?

02:12:10.000 Garcetti. Oh, God.

02:12:12.000 What a tool.

02:12:16.000 Slash business violation.

02:12:19.000 Does he say the snitches usually get snitches?

02:12:21.000 Say it at the beginning.

02:12:22.000 I don't know where he says it.

02:12:23.000 I think it's at the beginning.

02:12:25.000 Make sure that everybody continues to let us know where those folks are.

02:12:29.000 If you've observed recurring violations of the Safer at Home order, please continue to let us know at coronavirus.lacity.org slash business violation.

02:12:40.000 You know the old expression about snitches. 0.81

02:12:42.000 Well, in this case, snitches get...

02:12:46.000 We want to thank you for turning folks in and making sure we are all safe.

02:12:51.000 You should go to jail for saying that.

02:12:53.000 I'm going to explain something.

02:12:54.000 You fucking monster.

02:12:56.000 Due process has been my problem since all this shit started.

02:13:00.000 And it started with even the cancer culture.

02:13:02.000 Okay? Due process.

02:13:04.000 You've got to come at me and let me know everything.

02:13:06.000 Just because you opened up your mouth and said that 22 years ago at a party, I kissed you, I tried to kiss you, that ain't good enough.

02:13:13.000 That just ain't good enough.

02:13:15.000 Well, I went home and called my girlfriend, Diane.

02:13:17.000 We'll get her on the fucking stand, too. 0.94

02:13:19.000 But I believe in due process.

02:13:21.000 I'll do whatever time you want me to do, prove that I did it.

02:13:24.000 Just don't open up your fucking mouth.

02:13:26.000 Absolutely. But when you have something like, I'm asking for you to turn people in, for anything, people are going to go nutty and start ratting on people.

02:13:34.000 That's just what they do.

02:13:35.000 You can't get away from that.

02:13:39.000 Snitches get rewards.

02:13:42.000 Like, if you have that, For immigration, you got a real problem. 0.60

02:13:47.000 You got a real problem.

02:13:48.000 Because there's legit scumbag racists out there that'll find people and start targeting them. 1.00

02:13:53.000 People SWAT people all the time.

02:13:55.000 You know what that is?

02:13:57.000 They fucking call 911 and say someone's being held hostage at Joey Diaz's house at gunpoint.

02:14:03.000 And then the SWAT team shows up.

02:14:05.000 And you might not know what's going on, so you might pull out a fucking gun and get shot.

02:14:09.000 Yeah, I've heard of that.

02:14:10.000 Where college students are doing it?

02:14:11.000 People are doing it all the time.

02:14:13.000 It happens.

02:14:15.000 There was a bunch of conservative online people that were getting swatted recently.

02:14:22.000 It's wild shit, dude.

02:14:24.000 You know, you give people this ability with social media or even more so if you, like, anonymously tip people that people are immigrants here illegally.

02:14:35.000 Like, boy, that's going to be a problem if that ever happens.

02:14:39.000 And that could just be...

02:14:40.000 A woman who owns a fucking fruit stand and a Mexican owns a fruit stand down the corner. 1.00

02:14:45.000 And she could just call and go, listen, this guy's illegal.

02:14:48.000 There's people that are excited that people are getting deported.

02:14:51.000 Like, be fucking careful.

02:14:53.000 Be careful what you wish for.

02:14:55.000 You don't want more people searching for people to lock up.

02:14:59.000 And then, here's the thing, like any other business.

02:15:01.000 Once you start getting numbers, you don't want those numbers to drop off.

02:15:04.000 You don't want the job to go away.

02:15:06.000 You know, you got a quota.

02:15:08.000 Right? If you've got a quota, I don't know if there is a quota, but if there's a quota for how many immigrants we're going to send back, you've got to have a problem. 0.65

02:15:15.000 Because now you've made it a game, and now I'm trying to score points.

02:15:19.000 And if Joey gets 30 guys, I want to get 50 guys.

02:15:22.000 Fuck Joey. 0.78

02:15:22.000 Yeah, I got 50. I think a few of them might not be guilty, but fuck it, who cares? 0.78

02:15:27.000 I'm getting a Cadillac!

02:15:29.000 I hit the bonus.

02:15:30.000 Yeah, fuck them, they should all go back anyway.

02:15:33.000 Agreed. Agreed.

02:15:35.000 Yeah. There's a lot of fucking idiots in this world.

02:15:38.000 There's a lot of people that they're short-sighted.

02:15:41.000 And by giving, if there is, I'm not saying there is a quota, but if there is a quota, you're giving people a game to play now.

02:15:47.000 You don't want to play games with people.

02:15:48.000 Well, I think even on ticket quotas, there's a percentage that they know they're going to get beat on it.

02:15:54.000 Like, yeah.

02:15:56.000 If I give you ten tickets, eight of them are going to be good.

02:15:58.000 Two of them are going to be, he's going to come up with an attorney and fight this.

02:16:03.000 The wind was blowing and, you know.

02:16:05.000 I always said that, like, what would they do?

02:16:07.000 See, this is a problem with the government that they're exposed with this Department of Government Efficiency.

02:16:12.000 And I had heard about this before from my friends that are in the military, that, like, if you get a budget for the year, if you don't spend all of that money, your budget's going to be reduced next year.

02:16:22.000 You don't want that to happen.

02:16:24.000 So you spend money wildly, completely inefficiently.

02:16:27.000 And I think that's part of the problem that we're facing here.

02:16:32.000 It's like they don't want to lose out on any of this money.

02:16:35.000 They've been getting this money this way for so long.

02:16:41.000 You're right.

02:16:41.000 If they don't use it, that's right, the budget goes down.

02:16:44.000 Yeah, the budget goes down.

02:16:45.000 They call that something.

02:16:46.000 What is it called?

02:16:47.000 Bullshit. I don't know.

02:16:49.000 What is it called?

02:16:50.000 What is it called?

02:16:51.000 I had a point, but I forgot what my point is.

02:16:53.000 But it's just that, you know, we're in a weird time here where...

02:17:00.000 People are arguing about whether or not we should abandon core principles that made this country great.

02:17:06.000 Like, very intelligent, liberal people with degrees are talking about the First Amendment should have restrictions.

02:17:15.000 Like, no.

02:17:17.000 No, no, no, no.

02:17:18.000 You don't get to decide.

02:17:20.000 You don't get to decide.

02:17:21.000 Because without free speech, I don't know who's right.

02:17:24.000 And I can't just go on narratives.

02:17:28.000 That's how religions work. 0.67

02:17:29.000 That's how cults work.

02:17:30.000 They make you go on a very specific narrative and you can't go outside the lines.

02:17:34.000 If you want the human race to evolve, if you want people to evolve culturally, if you want people to communicate better, they've got to be able to say whatever they want.

02:17:44.000 And then you decide if you want to communicate with people that speak differently than you.

02:17:48.000 And if you think that they have an egregious position, you're allowed to say something about it.

02:17:52.000 And you talk about it.

02:17:53.000 And everybody has to figure out who's right and who's wrong.

02:17:56.000 And unless that's able to go on, you're never going to get to the truth.

02:18:00.000 And if you just cut that off for things that you find offensive.

02:18:05.000 The problem is maybe I don't find it offensive and you can't decide what I can take in and not take in.

02:18:10.000 You're not allowed to because I don't know you and you don't know me.

02:18:13.000 This is nonsense.

02:18:15.000 You got to give human beings the ability to discern for themselves.

02:18:19.000 The only way for them to truly do that is they got to be able to communicate openly.

02:18:23.000 And they were trying to stop that during the Biden administration.

02:18:27.000 They were putting the fucking brakes on all kinds of shit that people are allowed to talk to.

02:18:31.000 And everybody's like, yeah, we gotta stop this information.

02:18:34.000 Like, you're signing your own fucking death warrant.

02:18:38.000 You don't even know it.

02:18:40.000 You're giving away the only thing that we have left.

02:18:45.000 I'm taking a vitamin.

02:18:46.000 It's called CardioNad.

02:18:51.000 I'm taking something else.

02:18:53.000 That's called, like, colon.

02:18:54.000 They gave it to me after my lung thing.

02:18:56.000 And my lung feels a lot better.

02:18:58.000 You know what the doctor told me when he told me to take the one supplement?

02:19:00.000 What? They took it off the market during COVID.

02:19:06.000 Why'd they do that?

02:19:07.000 Because it's such a great lung supplement.

02:19:09.000 I feel a lot better since I've been on it for five weeks.

02:19:12.000 They took this off the internet and everything.

02:19:14.000 They shut down their website for three years.

02:19:17.000 Oh, my God.

02:19:18.000 That sounds so crazy.

02:19:20.000 If you had said this to me before COVID, I would be like, Joey's crazy.

02:19:24.000 Stop talking like that, man.

02:19:25.000 I was so pro-pharmaceutical drugs back then, like as the cure-all to everything in modern medicine.

02:19:32.000 Vaccinations are so important. 1.00

02:19:34.000 COVID woke me the fuck up.

02:19:37.000 When I found out that they were trying to stop doctors and take away their licenses if they prescribed ivermectin.

02:19:48.000 Take away your license.

02:19:49.000 If you just prescribe off-label a drug that people say is beneficial in certain trials, but you're, for some reason, you're not allowed to do it.

02:19:59.000 For the first time ever, doctors are prohibited from prescribing something off-label that has no negative side effects.

02:20:06.000 It's never happened before.

02:20:08.000 Never happened before where there's a public psyop where they're trying to pretend that it's horse dewormer so nobody will take it.

02:20:17.000 It's bizarre.

02:20:19.000 And they did it right in front of our face.

02:20:21.000 And they just did it for money.

02:20:23.000 And the fucking media went along with it.

02:20:25.000 And so did the liberals.

02:20:27.000 The liberals went along with it.

02:20:28.000 And they parroted out everything they say.

02:20:31.000 Safe and effective.

02:20:32.000 It saved millions of lives.

02:20:35.000 People are dropping like flies to the left and the right of them.

02:20:38.000 People are stroking out on the subway.

02:20:40.000 And everyone's pretending that nothing's wrong.

02:20:42.000 Everyone's pretending this increase in all-cause mortality isn't crazy.

02:20:50.000 That's not weird.

02:20:51.000 It's not weird that cancer is on a skyrocketing rate.

02:20:53.000 That's not weird to you.

02:20:55.000 Everyone's pretending.

02:20:56.000 And if you bring it up, you're a kook. 1.00

02:20:59.000 They tricked everybody into being the cop.

02:21:04.000 Everybody is calling that Garcetti hotline.

02:21:08.000 Everybody's a little rat.

02:21:10.000 They're all little rats.

02:21:12.000 They're little rats working for the man, and they'll rat on each other. 1.00

02:21:16.000 And then if something happens to them because of it, they keep their mouth shut because they don't want to hear it.

02:21:21.000 So they do the work of the man for the man because they're suckers.

02:21:28.000 Isn't that wild?

02:21:30.000 And that, what we're talking about, is the problem with this disclosure of aliens.

02:21:38.000 Those people are going to fall apart.

02:21:41.000 The people that fell apart in COVID?

02:21:43.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:21:45.000 They're going to be wearing silver jumpsuits and sucking alien dicks the moment those guys arrive. 0.83

02:21:50.000 They will jump on Team Alien.

02:21:52.000 They'll be rounding up people and using us for slaves. 0.98

02:21:54.000 They'll do whatever the aliens ask.

02:21:56.000 They'll be like vampire familiars.

02:21:58.000 Remember those?

02:21:58.000 Where there was like a guy who wasn't a vampire but wanted to be one, so he'd do anything the vampire asked?

02:22:03.000 That's what those fuckfaces would do. 1.00

02:22:05.000 All the people that got nine boosters, all those morons, they'll be like on team alien 100%.

02:22:12.000 It is imperative that the human race perish.

02:22:15.000 It's imperative.

02:22:16.000 We're a blight on the world.

02:22:19.000 And the Anunnaki are going to help us. 1.00

02:22:21.000 Those fucking idiots, they'll sell us right down a river. 1.00

02:22:26.000 It's crazy what's going on in the world today, my friend.

02:22:29.000 It is, but there's...

02:22:31.000 It always has to be crazy, so we realize it's crazy, so people snap out of it.

02:22:35.000 Like, this is a part of society.

02:22:38.000 It's like, there's not a linear path to success.

02:22:41.000 What happens with societies is, things go really well, and then they go terrible, and you either adjust or you don't.

02:22:47.000 And if you don't, the civilization dies, and then a new one emerges.

02:22:51.000 But if you do, then you recover.

02:22:53.000 And it's like, how many times can you do that?

02:22:55.000 How long can you keep this fucking thing going on?

02:22:57.000 Because you're gonna have, like...

02:22:59.000 Great prosperity, which makes soft people.

02:23:02.000 You know, hard times makes hard men.

02:23:03.000 Hard men make soft times.

02:23:05.000 Soft times make soft men.

02:23:08.000 Soft men make hard times.

02:23:09.000 And everybody knows that.

02:23:11.000 That's what it is.

02:23:13.000 It's just a matter of recognizing that it's happening so you're course-correct.

02:23:18.000 Which is why everybody's leaving California, because they're not course-correcting.

02:23:21.000 They're going into madness, and they're like, no, we're progressive.

02:23:24.000 And they're like, no, no, no, you're going into the rocks.

02:23:25.000 No, no, no, the rocks protect us.

02:23:28.000 No, you're going to die.

02:23:29.000 You're going to hit the rocks.

02:23:29.000 It's going to be over.

02:23:30.000 Just like there's no more Rome, there's going to be no more L.A. Like, you fucking morons, right?

02:23:35.000 The world is littered with civilizations that lost their way.

02:23:39.000 You can go and find the ruins everywhere.

02:23:41.000 You know, they're gone.

02:23:43.000 They went away.

02:23:44.000 That's how it happens stupid and you're doing it right now and We recognize that or we don't and if we don't it's not good But I think we will I think we have a different you know a different Way of communicating now because people can talk so much online You're going to get a lot of stupid shit online.

02:24:07.000 You get a lot of dumb things online.

02:24:09.000 But you're also going to get a lot of conversations that make you think, that make you go,"That actually makes sense." Like, why are we assuming that the way we're doing it so far and the way we've been doing it is the only way to do it?

02:24:22.000 What is wrong with this system?

02:24:23.000 How do we get the money out of it?

02:24:25.000 How do we get money out of politics?

02:24:27.000 How do we get the number one corrupting factor out of figuring out what's best for all of us?

02:24:32.000 How do we do that?

02:24:34.000 Smoke weed.

02:24:35.000 Eat mushrooms.

02:24:36.000 Talk to aliens.

02:24:37.000 That's it.

02:24:38.000 I don't get involved in none of that shit.

02:24:40.000 It doesn't bother me.

02:24:41.000 I do sometimes when I think about it because I go down roads.

02:24:44.000 I don't want to think about it.

02:24:45.000 I want to just enjoy my life.

02:24:46.000 I'm scared for my daughter in the future.

02:24:48.000 Everything else, I got to fucking take a chance every goddamn day.

02:24:52.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:24:52.000 Yes. Well, that's also one of the benefits of a society with children.

02:24:57.000 A society with children wants to make sure that the future is safe.

02:25:03.000 A society of people without children making rules don't give a fuck about kids. 0.76

02:25:08.000 And some people are actually openly disdainful of children, and then they get into positions of government and power.

02:25:14.000 That's not good.

02:25:16.000 I think something happens to you when you have children that I think is an important biological, sort of spiritual...

02:25:25.000 Developmental cycle.

02:25:26.000 There's something that happens to you when you realize this little person you love more than life itself and you're taking care of them now and then you want the world to be a better place.

02:25:34.000 And then you start thinking, oh, all these people around me used to be babies.

02:25:38.000 We're all on this weird journey and maybe we could all be a little nicer to each other.

02:25:43.000 You know?

02:25:45.000 If that doesn't happen to you and you don't have kids, you don't have something that you love more than life itself, you know, it's a different...

02:25:52.000 That's a different kind of thing.

02:25:53.000 And if you want power when you're that person, that's a different kind of thing, too.

02:25:57.000 And especially if you're into war, if you're a war hawk and you don't have any kids, like, Jesus Christ, you're willing to send other people's kids overseas to die for some nonsense?

02:26:07.000 And you don't even know what that is like?

02:26:09.000 That's kind of crazy.

02:26:12.000 So we're in a society right now where we have a population, except for Elon, we have a population decline.

02:26:17.000 People aren't having as much babies as they used to.

02:26:21.000 It just doesn't seem like it because there's so many people.

02:26:24.000 But it's like when they look at the numbers for the future, we're in a kind of a weird population collapse thing.

02:26:30.000 Like Japan is fucked.

02:26:32.000 Have you seen any of that stuff on Japan?

02:26:34.000 See if you can find anything on the Japanese population crisis.

02:26:38.000 They're having so few children in Japan that like in three generations they could be in real trouble.

02:26:47.000 Like the number of people that will have a grandchild.

02:26:51.000 Right now is significantly lower than it ever has been before.

02:26:55.000 Can I ask you a question?

02:26:56.000 Yeah. What the fuck's it got to do with me?

02:26:58.000 I don't give a fuck about the Japs. 1.00

02:27:00.000 What the fuck is wrong with you, Joe?

02:27:01.000 Well, I think about it with us.

02:27:03.000 Because I think about it with civilizations collapsing.

02:27:06.000 I think about it with what we've been talking about the whole day.

02:27:08.000 Yeah, but we don't have to worry about that.

02:27:09.000 I know, I know, I know.

02:27:10.000 We don't have to worry about it.

02:27:11.000 This is fucking too much.

02:27:12.000 You're right, you're right.

02:27:13.000 This is the first podcast I'm done that I'm scared.

02:27:15.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:27:15.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?

02:27:16.000 You're right.

02:27:17.000 Enough with this shit.

02:27:18.000 You're right.

02:27:19.000 And politics enough.

02:27:20.000 I know.

02:27:21.000 COVID is over.

02:27:22.000 If you took the fucking needle, fuck you.

02:27:24.000 If you didn't, now they just found out the fucking, the flu shot don't work.

02:27:28.000 I could have told you that 25 fucking years ago.

02:27:30.000 Not only does it not work, it makes you 25% more likely to get the flu.

02:27:33.000 Come on, man.

02:27:33.000 And I'm a GED type of fucking motherfucker, so knock it off.

02:27:37.000 I hate all this shit.

02:27:39.000 I'm scared.

02:27:40.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:27:42.000 The fuck?

02:27:43.000 I'm scared too.

02:27:44.000 Yeah, about Japanese.

02:27:45.000 Listen, man, that's what the problem is.

02:27:47.000 We're worrying about this is what the internet fucked us.

02:27:51.000 That's true.

02:27:51.000 This is why we have retards walking around believing everything because I forgot what I was going to tell you.

02:27:57.000 The internet fucked us.

02:27:59.000 The internet fucked us.

02:28:00.000 It's too much information.

02:28:01.000 It's like this.

02:28:02.000 I was in the hospital and I get on the fucking elevator and there's two, three doctors, you know, half a fags in my world, okay? 1.00

02:28:10.000 And they're like, oh my God, we can't wait till the Kennedy report comes out.

02:28:15.000 How is it going to make a difference in your world?

02:28:17.000 It's like these idiots with the Epstein list.

02:28:19.000 How is it going to make a difference in your world if Tom Hanks is on that list?

02:28:23.000 I'll tell you what.

02:28:24.000 Do you not have to go to work tomorrow?

02:28:25.000 Do you have to do all the same shit?

02:28:28.000 That shit doesn't matter to me.

02:28:30.000 I don't give a fuck who's on the Epstein list.

02:28:34.000 I don't give a fuck who went to Diddy's house.

02:28:37.000 It's got nothing to do with me.

02:28:38.000 But in today's world, because of the internet, it makes us think it's got something to do with us.

02:28:43.000 It has nothing to do with me, man.

02:28:45.000 It's a show.

02:28:45.000 That's what it is.

02:28:46.000 What the fucking show?

02:28:47.000 I don't want to watch that show.

02:28:49.000 So now I've got to wait here 60 years.

02:28:51.000 We've been watching the same footage.

02:28:53.000 He got hit.

02:28:54.000 It clocked back.

02:28:55.000 You know, Lee Harvey out.

02:28:57.000 But now we want to really fuck with these fucking peanut nimble-headed dummies. 1.00

02:29:02.000 Well, I want to see what's on there.

02:29:04.000 Then two days later, the Jews did it. 0.98

02:29:06.000 Believe me.

02:29:07.000 Just worry about paying your fucking credit card bills, you fucking idiot.

02:29:11.000 That's what you should worry about.

02:29:13.000 Did you see what happened this year in this country?

02:29:16.000 Fucking millionaires are selling off fucking property to pay taxes to get capital.

02:29:21.000 Are you fucking kidding me?

02:29:23.000 And people are worried about the fucking Epstein list?

02:29:25.000 Like, how is it going to change your life who fucking Tom Hanks is fucking in the ass?

02:29:29.000 Who does it matter?

02:29:30.000 And do you really care?

02:29:32.000 At the end of the day, do you really care about that 16-year-old girl?

02:29:36.000 No, you don't.

02:29:36.000 So shut the fuck up!

02:29:39.000 Nobody cares.

02:29:40.000 It's just a fucking show.

02:29:41.000 It's a show.

02:29:42.000 It's a show.

02:29:42.000 It's like I told you about LA.

02:29:44.000 But it's a compelling show.

02:29:46.000 What's that fucking show with the crazy stoner guy, Seth Rogen?

02:29:49.000 Oh, I haven't seen it.

02:29:50.000 The studio, okay?

02:29:52.000 Not a bad show.

02:29:53.000 Not a bad show at all.

02:29:54.000 But I was watching that show, and it let me realize what I hated.

02:29:59.000 Short, small talk.

02:30:00.000 That shit we were talking about before, where people just like, well, the other day a contractor came over.

02:30:05.000 I love this guy.

02:30:06.000 Came over to my house, going to do the garage.

02:30:08.000 And there was a moment of 10 minutes that it was him and his son and me and my wife.

02:30:13.000 And we're just standing there.

02:30:15.000 And it just takes one guy to go, all right, back to work, everybody.

02:30:19.000 Because if not, we'll sit there for three hours.

02:30:21.000 So how do we feel?

02:30:22.000 Great. How was your trip?

02:30:23.000 How was the hospital stay?

02:30:24.000 Listen, it doesn't fucking matter how my hospital stay was.

02:30:27.000 Get in your truck, get the fuck out of here, and I'll get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:30:30.000 I go my way.

02:30:31.000 You know, my wife, I hate her around when people come over. 1.00

02:30:34.000 Because she always throw that curveball in. 1.00

02:30:36.000 Like, tell them to look at the room.

02:30:37.000 No, they don't need to look at the fucking room.

02:30:39.000 Leave them in the fucking garage.

02:30:41.000 If not, you're going to confuse these motherfuckers.

02:30:43.000 You've got to assume everybody is confused.

02:30:45.000 You go to a restaurant, you get something wrong.

02:30:48.000 Everybody is not cooking on fucking, you know.

02:30:51.000 It's something I've never seen before.

02:30:54.000 Every time I go somewhere, I'm like, how can they be that stupid?

02:30:57.000 How could they not do this?

02:30:59.000 You go to CVS.

02:31:01.000 Anywhere you go, it's like they're not even training people anymore.

02:31:05.000 They're not even training people anymore.

02:31:07.000 You know, you go to-- I went somewhere the other day.

02:31:10.000 I was at the mall.

02:31:10.000 My daughter was on-- I go to P.F. Chang's.

02:31:13.000 P.F. Chang's, those type of restaurants, they used to train people.

02:31:16.000 For two weeks, you don't get paid.

02:31:18.000 You're in there learning shit.

02:31:19.000 It's not like a regular restaurant where they, like, follow Joe Rogan around for a day and then fucking come back tomorrow and you're on your own.

02:31:26.000 Dog, nobody's fucking.

02:31:27.000 They don't know anything.

02:31:28.000 These young kids, they don't know anything.

02:31:31.000 Nothing. You know, a lot of them aren't even getting driver's licenses.

02:31:35.000 They just Uber everywhere.

02:31:38.000 The kids don't want to learn how to drive.

02:31:40.000 I don't want to learn how to drive.

02:31:41.000 They don't care.

02:31:42.000 My friend was telling me his son's got a license for two years.

02:31:44.000 He's home every night.

02:31:46.000 We got a license.

02:31:47.000 We left the house before we had the license.

02:31:49.000 We were driving to New Hampshire.

02:31:51.000 Yeah, we had the car before we had the fucking license.

02:31:54.000 Yeah. But listen, I had, you know, people, I went to a comedy show and a guy, a comedian, was talking about kids and I'm like, I'm not going to do that no more.

02:32:02.000 Because that's all of us.

02:32:03.000 We all talk about when I was fucking 40, when I was 28, you know, I did this and I did that.

02:32:09.000 But these kids today are different, and I've accepted it.

02:32:13.000 I've accepted it in my neighborhood.

02:32:15.000 When I went back, I was pissed for a few fucking months.

02:32:18.000 How come?

02:32:18.000 Because there's no kids playing.

02:32:20.000 There's kids all over my fucking street.

02:32:22.000 And my little cul-de-sac there, I got like eight fucking kids.

02:32:26.000 Mr. Softee comes.

02:32:28.000 We're the only ones out there.

02:32:29.000 Four in the afternoon.

02:32:30.000 Where the fucking kids?

02:32:32.000 Well, kids don't feel comfortable being unsupervised today.

02:32:37.000 You know, you hear too much about kids being abducted and weird things happening to kids.

02:32:41.000 It's not like they could free-range like when we were kids.

02:32:45.000 It's like that narrative's out there everywhere.

02:32:48.000 And then some neighborhoods just aren't fucking safe.

02:32:50.000 Your kid shouldn't be out.

02:32:52.000 Nah, there's a lot of safe neighborhoods where kids don't play.

02:32:55.000 Our neighborhood wasn't that safe, but in unity there is strength.

02:32:59.000 There's a real problem with video games.

02:33:02.000 Video games are so good, the kids don't want to go outside.

02:33:05.000 It's a fucking cell phone.

02:33:06.000 That too.

02:33:06.000 It's a cell phone and a computer, man.

02:33:08.000 That too.

02:33:09.000 It's so many things, but I don't have a problem with it no more.

02:33:12.000 That's what I'm trying to say to you.

02:33:14.000 It's who they are now.

02:33:16.000 It's who they are.

02:33:17.000 You know, I was reading something, and I just put this together.

02:33:19.000 It's the truth.

02:33:19.000 Remember a couple, maybe a year ago, they were talking about how low testosterone are in these people?

02:33:24.000 Yeah. Kids don't play no more.

02:33:26.000 Well, they don't play.

02:33:27.000 They don't go outside.

02:33:28.000 They don't run.

02:33:29.000 They don't jump.

02:33:30.000 They don't jump, and then they're eating garbage.

02:33:32.000 So what do you think testosterone levels are going to be?

02:33:35.000 And they have plastic in their brain.

02:33:37.000 They said that they studied a bunch of people to see how much microplastic they had in their brain, and some people had as much as a plastic spoon.

02:33:48.000 What? Imagine that.

02:33:50.000 You have so many microplastics in your brain that if they extracted it all, you can make a plastic spoon.

02:33:57.000 So, of course, that's going to wreck your fucking testosterone, too.

02:34:01.000 And then I saw this thing about Call of Duty, some fucking insane statistic about the amount of time that in total that's been played in Call of Duty is like more than human civilization.

02:34:16.000 Like the amount of minutes that people have logged, like millions of people playing Call of Duty, is like, if you put it all together, it's longer than human civilization.

02:34:27.000 And I've never played a video game, Joe.

02:34:30.000 Good. Is that the craziest thing?

02:34:32.000 You'd love it.

02:34:33.000 Stay away from them.

02:34:34.000 They're crack.

02:34:35.000 They're crack.

02:34:35.000 I just never felt the need to sit there on a fucking computer.

02:34:39.000 And shoot at people.

02:34:40.000 I'd rather shoot at people for real.

02:34:41.000 I'd rather steal a car for real or roll a fucking drug dealer.

02:34:45.000 Well, it's definitely more fun to shoot at things for real, but video games are very fun.

02:34:50.000 These people playing them aren't morons.

02:34:52.000 They're fun.

02:34:53.000 They're really fun.

02:34:54.000 What is the amount of time spent?

02:34:58.000 This goes back.

02:34:59.000 There's a Reddit post from 10 years ago actually repeating the exact same thing.

02:35:03.000 So 10 years ago it was that much?

02:35:05.000 You could probably pick a video game though and say the same thing.

02:35:08.000 Right. Grand Theft Auto.

02:35:10.000 Right. Any really popular game, right?

02:35:12.000 Yeah. How about Subway Servers?

02:35:14.000 25 billion hours played, but this was 10 years ago.

02:35:17.000 25 billion hours?

02:35:20.000 That's so crazy.

02:35:23.000 That's so crazy.

02:35:24.000 That's so many hours of people playing that fucking game 10 years ago.

02:35:28.000 At the same time, so World of Warcraft has 6 billion years played?

02:35:33.000 6 million.

02:35:35.000 6 million.

02:35:36.000 Jesus Christ.

02:35:37.000 So six million, that's pre-civilization.

02:35:39.000 I was a model guy.

02:35:41.000 Weren't you a model guy?

02:35:43.000 Yeah, I used to make little Star Wars, Millennium Falcon models.

02:35:47.000 I love models. 0.99

02:35:47.000 Model cars. 0.99

02:35:48.000 I used to do all the superheroes.

02:35:50.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:35:50.000 With the brick wall and all that.

02:35:52.000 Remember when you could paint them?

02:35:53.000 Yeah, I used to paint them and the whole thing.

02:35:55.000 That was my, that's the only thing that kept me in when I was a kid.

02:35:56.000 That was fun.

02:35:57.000 Until one day my mom goes, stop painting those fucking things. 1.00

02:36:00.000 Get out of the fucking house.

02:36:01.000 How much paint fumes were we just...

02:36:03.000 Fucking get in our bodies, little kids.

02:36:05.000 And glue.

02:36:05.000 Oh, yeah.

02:36:07.000 Listen, everybody's got their problems.

02:36:08.000 These people talk about...

02:36:09.000 Rubber cement glue.

02:36:10.000 Remember that stuff?

02:36:11.000 Oh, shit.

02:36:11.000 When you would crack it and you had the brush attached to the lid?

02:36:14.000 Oh, shit.

02:36:15.000 And you'd pull it out and the smell, you'd be like, woo!

02:36:17.000 And you'd tell your friends, smell this.

02:36:19.000 You'd all be smelling markers.

02:36:22.000 Everybody'd be sniffing markers and sniffing glue.

02:36:26.000 I was thinking of sniffing glue again, just to see how we feel now.

02:36:30.000 Probably not good.

02:36:31.000 I would imagine.

02:36:32.000 We have some smelling salts.

02:36:34.000 Should we wrap this up with a smelling salt?

02:36:37.000 Jamie, how many of those are fresh?

02:36:39.000 They're all stacked.

02:36:40.000 Is there any order to those, the way they're stacked?

02:36:42.000 That's the last freshie? 1.00

02:36:44.000 Chuck that baby this way. 0.99

02:36:45.000 You got one to go for me?

02:36:46.000 Yeah, of course.

02:36:47.000 I have one to go.

02:36:47.000 You really want to take it with you?

02:36:49.000 Yeah, I've got one.

02:36:50.000 Okay, here we go.

02:36:51.000 Oh, this is fresh, fresh.

02:36:52.000 This one hasn't been opened yet.

02:36:55.000 Oh, you hear that?

02:36:57.000 That means it's just melted back on or something.

02:37:00.000 Oh boy.

02:37:02.000 Whoa, this is a good one.

02:37:04.000 Here we go.

02:37:07.000 Oh boy.

02:37:15.000 Wow. Yeah.

02:37:21.000 Them fresh ones.

02:37:22.000 Oh my goodness.

02:37:24.000 I gotta get the right side.

02:37:25.000 Are we giving ourselves brain damage or what?

02:37:28.000 Hopefully. Let's find out about that.

02:37:30.000 What else were we finding out about?

02:37:32.000 We figured out the numbers.

02:37:33.000 Was there one other thing?

02:37:34.000 Yeah. Jesus.

02:37:36.000 These fresh ones are brutal.

02:37:37.000 Are we giving ourselves brain damage?

02:37:40.000 I need to know.

02:37:41.000 I can't afford any more brain damage.

02:37:43.000 I cleared my ears.

02:37:44.000 Yeah. Let's put a lid on that thing. 0.90

02:37:46.000 Keep it fresh.

02:37:47.000 Oh my god, Joe.

02:37:48.000 Keep it fresh.

02:37:50.000 Overuse may damage nasal passages or lungs.

02:37:54.000 Oh. Well, that's not good.

02:37:55.000 What does it do?

02:37:56.000 What's overuse?

02:37:56.000 Overuse can damage nasal pads.

02:37:58.000 I don't think it's getting to my lungs.

02:38:00.000 Fuck you's both. 0.75

02:38:01.000 I got damaged nasal fucking pads already and lung hair and fucking...

02:38:05.000 Bro, the inside of your nose is scarred over.

02:38:08.000 It's like a cauliflower ear.

02:38:10.000 Look at this.

02:38:11.000 That was a good whack.

02:38:12.000 That was a good one.

02:38:13.000 That was a very good whack.

02:38:13.000 That affected something.

02:38:15.000 Yeah, cleans you out.

02:38:16.000 I've never tried it before lifting weights, but that's what it's for.

02:38:19.000 That's what they do.

02:38:20.000 Those powerlifters.

02:38:21.000 What is this for strength lifters?

02:38:22.000 Yeah. The real powerlifter guys, they like to take a jolt of that shit right before they...

02:38:26.000 What's the pros and cons of this shit?

02:38:32.000 Like, what are the long...

02:38:33.000 I don't think there's any pros.

02:38:35.000 It's all cons.

02:38:36.000 This is not good.

02:38:36.000 What we just did is not good.

02:38:37.000 The one we just did now is just to hire...

02:38:39.000 Strength of the stuff they used to put in your nose.

02:38:42.000 It smells just like it.

02:38:43.000 It's the same stuff.

02:38:44.000 It's smelling salts.

02:38:45.000 It's just a whole jar of them.

02:38:47.000 It's ammonia, right, Jamie?

02:38:49.000 Now, if you get knocked out, you put that under them, what happens?

02:38:52.000 They used to be able to do that to boxers in between rounds.

02:38:54.000 Oh, my gosh.

02:38:54.000 They stopped allowing them to do it, you know?

02:38:58.000 Because I guess it'll wake you up if you got a concussion a little bit.

02:39:01.000 Just enough for you to get more of a concussion so Tommy Hearns can hit you again.

02:39:05.000 Oh, my gosh.

02:39:06.000 And I got this fucking Loris, not Loris Fishburne.

02:39:09.000 Who's the other guy?

02:39:11.000 The guy I like a lot.

02:39:12.000 He's in The Godfather of Harlem.

02:39:14.000 Forrest Whitaker.

02:39:15.000 Forrest Whitaker.

02:39:16.000 Forrest Whitaker eye now.

02:39:17.000 Oh. Did you see it?

02:39:18.000 No. What's going on with your eye?

02:39:19.000 I don't know.

02:39:20.000 It droopy?

02:39:20.000 It droops.

02:39:21.000 Only when you get high?

02:39:22.000 That's hilarious.

02:39:23.000 Yeah, right here.

02:39:23.000 Over this.

02:39:24.000 I gotta put like scotch tape over this.

02:39:25.000 Did you ever see Forrest Whitaker in The Color of Money?

02:39:28.000 Fucking tremendous.

02:39:29.000 He hustled Paul Newman.

02:39:30.000 He hustled Paul Newman.

02:39:31.000 It was beautiful.

02:39:32.000 He's fucking brilliant.

02:39:33.000 Can I ask you a question?

02:39:35.000 You think I need to lose weight?

02:39:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:39:38.000 He says that after he robs him.

02:39:40.000 He tricks him.

02:39:42.000 He pretends he sucks at pool.

02:39:44.000 And then slowly but surely, Paul Newman realizes he's getting hustled.

02:39:48.000 Sorry. I'll throw this away.

02:39:51.000 And there's a scene where he gets angry and he asks him, are you a hustler?

02:39:55.000 And he's like, you can quit if you want to quit.

02:39:58.000 That was a great scene.

02:40:00.000 I forgot about that.

02:40:02.000 It's one of the best scenes in the movie because that's really how it works.

02:40:05.000 Just for your clarity, a doctor says this about smelling.

02:40:10.000 Oh, what does it say?

02:40:11.000 If you're stuck in a room that was filled with ammonia gas, you would get lung toxicity.

02:40:16.000 Potentially, you get airway injury.

02:40:18.000 You could potentially die.

02:40:20.000 But breathing this stuff in a few times over a few hours isn't really going to lead to any significant complications.

02:40:25.000 He added that the FDA warning is mostly a regulatory issue about misbranding and mislabeling.

02:40:31.000 Oh, okay.

02:40:31.000 So we have to worry.

02:40:33.000 There's no way we could worry because those power lifter guys, they've been doing it forever.

02:40:37.000 It's like that Hicks joke about, you know, when you smoke cigarettes, they're on the side of labels.

02:40:42.000 Oh, yeah.

02:40:42.000 Low birth weight.

02:40:43.000 Low birth weight.

02:40:44.000 I can live with that.

02:40:44.000 Just pick the ones you like.

02:40:46.000 Yeah. Ironic that that guy got pancreatic cancer, and that's a side effect of cigarettes.

02:40:53.000 That's one of, I mean, you can't for sure say that that's what caused it, but that is one of the things that comes from that.

02:40:59.000 Renewed interest may have come after the appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience.

02:41:04.000 Oops. Yeah, people are blasting themselves.

02:41:09.000 That's hilarious.

02:41:10.000 What's going on for Jersey?

02:41:12.000 Who's on that card, Kyla, against the Venezuelan?

02:41:16.000 Let's pull it up.

02:41:17.000 The main event is Sugar Sean O'Malley.

02:41:21.000 And Marab Dwavishwily, the rematch, which would be absolute fucking chaos.

02:41:27.000 Juliana Pena versus Kayla Harrison, who's the most jacked female that's not on steroids, walking the face of the earth. 1.00

02:41:33.000 Kayla Harrison is fucked. 1.00

02:41:34.000 I mean, she passes all her tests, but good lord, that lady's jacked. 1.00

02:41:38.000 Bruno Silva, Joshua Van.

02:41:40.000 This is like, they haven't made the full card yet.

02:41:43.000 Kelvin Gaslam, the fight with Joe Pfeiffer that was rescheduled.

02:41:47.000 Joe Pfeiffer got real sick in Mexico City.

02:41:49.000 So did...

02:41:51.000 Daniel Cormier, and so did John Anik.

02:41:53.000 They all got really sick in Mexico City.

02:41:56.000 Cheetos on that card.

02:41:57.000 Oh, let me see that.

02:42:00.000 Okay. Who is Cheeto fighting?

02:42:06.000 That Kelvin fight is a very good fight, by the way.

02:42:08.000 Kelvin and Joe Pfeiffer.

02:42:09.000 Joe Pfeiffer is a fucking terrifying dude.

02:42:12.000 Mario Bautista, that's a very good fight.

02:42:15.000 Mario Bautista is rock-solid, man.

02:42:18.000 That's a serious dude.

02:42:20.000 And Marlon is a monster, too, because that's a fucking very good fight.

02:42:25.000 Marlon's got the bigger name, but Mario Bautista is a fucking killer.

02:42:29.000 Great card, but it's not fully formed yet.

02:42:31.000 This is just a few fights.

02:42:33.000 Generally speaking, there's usually it's around 13 fights.

02:42:42.000 You know John and I were talking about that the other day like there's nothing like calling the UFC fights because you start You know if it's on in Vegas time you're starting the fights at 3 p.m.

02:42:53.000 And you're going all the way through to the pay-per-view You're doing like six hours plus of commentary and then you got to find times to run to pee Sometimes it's like I have to tell the truck I cannot pee.

02:43:05.000 Because I'm drinking Monster Energy drinks, and I'm taking nicotine pouches, and I'm fucking fired up, and I'm drinking a lot of water, too.

02:43:12.000 I'm drinking my hydrogen water, and I have to fucking pee so bad.

02:43:15.000 There's nothing worse when you're trying to form a sentence and you have to pee.

02:43:19.000 You can't think.

02:43:21.000 It has been brutal for me.

02:43:24.000 Brutal. When I eat mushrooms, I gotta pee every 20 fucking minutes.

02:43:29.000 Why? And if I'm in a car, I got to pull over and pee.

02:43:33.000 And I got to make sure I'm not in the sexual fucking territory.

02:43:37.000 Like, I don't pee close to schools, churches, fucking parks.

02:43:41.000 Because then they throw you under the bus for sexual or whatever.

02:43:44.000 And you got to be careful.

02:43:45.000 But, dog, I'm in a world where some weeks are better than others.

02:43:49.000 I don't get up at night to pee, but in the daytime, especially if I work out and I start drinking that water and drinking that water, oh, baby, I got to start peeing.

02:43:58.000 And when I got sick, This was the beauty of it.

02:44:00.000 Every time I had to pee, I'd get anxiety.

02:44:02.000 I would get a panic attack.

02:44:03.000 I couldn't even make it to the bathroom to walk.

02:44:05.000 Really? I was peeing my pants on the way to the fucking bathroom, Joe.

02:44:09.000 You have no idea.

02:44:10.000 The last week of February, when I went to the hospital in March, that was possibly...

02:44:18.000 That Saturday night, my blood pressure was 212 over 100, and my oxygen level was at 86. And I wouldn't go to the hospital because I didn't want the ambulance coming to get me at 4 in the morning in front of my daughter.

02:44:31.000 So I waited till 8, and then I drove myself to the hospital.

02:44:34.000 It was fucked up, bro.

02:44:36.000 Wow. That was a fucked up couple months, man.

02:44:40.000 I didn't know what was going on.

02:44:42.000 And what did they determine it was?

02:44:44.000 It was a congenitive heart failure.

02:44:49.000 When you have fluid in your lungs, edema, whatever, I was retained.

02:44:55.000 I walk around.

02:44:56.000 Right now I'm 278.

02:44:58.000 I was 265 all summer because I was really happy.

02:45:01.000 Every day I would go, look, I could fight in the UFC.

02:45:03.000 When I walked into the hospital, I was 319.

02:45:06.000 Oh, you got big.

02:45:08.000 I got big in a month.

02:45:10.000 Oh. Like a month.

02:45:11.000 And I wasn't eating in the hospital, nothing.

02:45:15.000 Was it like Italian food?

02:45:17.000 No, I was just retaining water.

02:45:19.000 Edema's when you retain water.

02:45:21.000 Oh. That much water?

02:45:23.000 Oh my God, Joe.

02:45:25.000 And my lungs was getting the water, so I couldn't breathe.

02:45:28.000 And then when I would...

02:45:29.000 It went from me just having to stop.

02:45:33.000 Like if I would walk from here, I wouldn't make it to your bathroom.

02:45:37.000 Couldn't make it to your bathroom.

02:45:38.000 I'd have to stop in between and take like a five minute breath.

02:45:43.000 Meanwhile, holding my peeing.

02:45:44.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:45:45.000 And your fucking stress level's going up and up because you're holding your fucking peeing. 0.68

02:45:50.000 It got to the point I would walk into the shop where I get what I had to get, but now I got to stand there because I got to fucking pee from the walking.

02:45:57.000 Oh, no.

02:45:58.000 And the bathroom's a mile away.

02:45:59.000 There's no walking.

02:46:01.000 You just take your dick out and pee. 0.99

02:46:02.000 Oh, my God.

02:46:03.000 In those days, it wasn't even getting the container from the car because I started bringing the container in the car.

02:46:09.000 There was no time.

02:46:10.000 Oh, wow.

02:46:21.000 Yeah, man.

02:46:23.000 So as soon as I went in, they put me on these fucking things for three days, and I lost like 20 pounds.

02:46:29.000 Really? And then they did a nuclear blood test.

02:46:44.000 And they had to take out, I don't know, fucking six tubes of blood in 45 minutes.

02:46:48.000 And that's when they came back and they go, you got 65%.

02:46:52.000 You're overloaded on fluid in your body.

02:46:54.000 You're retaining that much water and your blood cells are off the charts.

02:46:58.000 So we got to start draining.

02:47:01.000 I started draining.

02:47:03.000 They were taking, I don't know how many tubes from here, every three hours of blood.

02:47:08.000 Wow. Look at my fucking arms.

02:47:09.000 They're fucking banged up.

02:47:10.000 A little fucking heroin junkie.

02:47:13.000 So when I got out, I started taking it.

02:47:15.000 Listen, when you end up in a hospital, there's a problem.

02:47:18.000 Okay? There's a problem.

02:47:20.000 You cut a stitch, that's not a problem.

02:47:23.000 You had a situation.

02:47:24.000 That's how I looked at it.

02:47:25.000 There's a problem here.

02:47:26.000 We got to get to the bottom of this fucking...

02:47:28.000 And what is the bottom of it?

02:47:30.000 What's the cause of it?

02:47:31.000 I was taking MK-677.

02:47:34.000 What is that?

02:47:35.000 And it's a...

02:47:36.000 It's an amino acid peptide which mimics growth hormone in your brain.

02:47:44.000 And it had a lot of dumps, like insulin dumps and all this type of shit.

02:47:49.000 And it was raising my sugar.

02:47:51.000 It was doing a ton of shit.

02:47:52.000 I didn't even know it.

02:47:53.000 But this ain't the first time it happened.

02:47:55.000 It happened when I was doing testosterone when I was 50. I had a rush of red blood cells, and I was in D.C., and I had the worst fucking migraine headache for days.

02:48:05.000 And they took blood out and they go, you got too many red blood cells.

02:48:08.000 Wow. So that's why I can't do any of that shit.

02:48:11.000 And it's like the man said, if you're going to do growth, do growth.

02:48:15.000 Don't get something that's going to mimic growth.

02:48:17.000 What Ways to Well can do for you...

02:48:20.000 What ways to well could do for you will change your fucking life. 0.89

02:48:23.000 Yeah, no.

02:48:24.000 We get you a full blood panel and figure out what's going on, adjust your nutrition, adjust your vitamins.

02:48:30.000 He's the best.

02:48:32.000 And he loves what he does.

02:48:33.000 He does.

02:48:34.000 And that's what the key is.

02:48:36.000 Like, he's jerking off all over that fucking Martian.

02:48:39.000 He loves that shit.

02:48:40.000 He loves it.

02:48:41.000 He loves it.

02:48:41.000 It took forever to build that thing.

02:48:43.000 He was telling me he was having that thing made two years ago, and I was like, wow, what are you doing?

02:48:47.000 Now that he got it, I was like, oh, okay, I get it.

02:48:49.000 It's pretty cool.

02:48:51.000 But that was what I had going on, man.

02:48:54.000 We're going to see what we can do.

02:48:56.000 Yeah, I quit smoking pot and I was like, come on, man.

02:49:00.000 After about a month, I'm like, come on, Joey.

02:49:03.000 This ain't what fucking puts you in the hospital.

02:49:05.000 You know this.

02:49:06.000 So I started slightly.

02:49:07.000 I would just do one hit in the morning because that's all I need is the morning.

02:49:11.000 The rest of the day is bullshit.

02:49:13.000 I just like to be high in the morning with that coffee.

02:49:15.000 That's my world.

02:49:16.000 That lets me know what I'm doing that day.

02:49:18.000 You think about life.

02:49:20.000 No. Think about what you're doing.

02:49:21.000 It's like what Bill Heck said.

02:49:22.000 Marijuana don't make you lazy.

02:49:24.000 It just makes you realize that what you're going to do ain't worth doing.

02:49:27.000 Okay? That's the way I look at it.

02:49:29.000 You know, when I got to drive into the city, do that podcast, only 18 people listen to it, I'm not fucking going to do this.

02:49:34.000 You know, that's what happens.

02:49:36.000 And that's what happens with me.

02:49:37.000 I smoke pot in the morning, I'm like, I ain't doing that today.

02:49:40.000 Fuck that.

02:49:42.000 I love you to death, Joey.

02:49:44.000 Let's wrap this up.

02:49:44.000 My brother, thank you for having me.

02:49:46.000 I'm glad you're in town.

02:49:47.000 Happy Easter.

02:49:47.000 Let's have some fun.

02:49:48.000 Happy Easter, everybody.

02:49:49.000 Stay black. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 23, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2309 - Joey Diaz

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Transcript