On this episode of the podcast, my guest is a man who's been through hell and high water. He was in a car accident in the early morning hours of New Year's Day, 2019, in the mountains of Tahoe, California, when he lost control of his vehicle and slid down a mountain face first into a ravine. It was a near-death experience that left him paralysed from the chest down and unable to walk for months. He's now back to full recovery and is writing a new book about his journey.
00:01:49.000And the love and fuel to fuel your will, I had in spades.
00:01:57.000I feel like I could pretty much do anything if I set my mind to it.
00:02:02.000When it was my essential part of my life, my recovery, was a 24-hour day job.
00:02:07.000When typically I do many, many other things, right, as we all do in our lives, but when all my focus, like even parenting, was out the window until I can get better.
00:03:06.000No matter how much help you have or PT you have, if your tendons go, whatever the heck happens, you still have to put in the work every day and endure the pain and manage the pain and mitigate it.
00:03:17.000It can be quite lonely, but I always found that my daughter and my family, as I see their faces, when I get better, I could stand up, let's say, or not pee in a jar.
00:04:21.000But we had a big kind of snowmageddon type snow event that, you know, shut down the mountain that I live on at the top of Lake Tahoe at about 8,000 feet elevation.
00:04:31.000And we got just tons and tons of snow.
00:06:44.000But the accident happened because you have to get in and out off on those tracks, and I...
00:06:50.000It hit the thumb thing and it threw me off and I was going towards my nephew so I had to jump back on and try to stop it from killing him because it was going to crush him between the truck and that big blade that I have.
00:08:27.000And yeah, I mean, all the doctors were like, dude, I don't know how your eye's still operating or still working, but I think because I was on ice, because I did see it, I'm like, well, maybe I'm going to put this eye on ice and just kind of rolled into it.
00:08:42.000I saw my eye with my other eye, right?
00:08:44.000And I'm like, I'm going to be able to keep that thing, because I'm on like...
00:08:47.000An icy asphalt driveway that's off of my driveway, right, at the top of the road.
00:08:52.000So it wasn't really great for impact of getting ran over.
00:09:21.000Yeah, it was like a lot of ribs and all my spiral fractures and my legs, all my joints were broken, all my ankles, my lees, none of my spine.
00:09:31.000And I only got a laceration of my liver from one of the ribs breaking in a couple spots and I went down and kind of stabbed it.
00:09:38.000But it didn't really mess it up too bad, so that's okay.
00:10:06.000And all my organs were spared in my brain.
00:10:08.000So, like, it's kind of almost no harm, no foul at the end of the day, even though there's...
00:10:13.000You know, probably 20% titanium in my body at this point.
00:10:16.000So how many pieces of titanium were in you?
00:10:20.000Well, the guy that invented this procedure worked at the hospital in Reno because there's a lot of crushing injuries that happened because of the ski resorts and mines that are in the area.
00:10:30.000So I got really lucky to get this doctor.
00:10:32.000But it took four doctors to get to this guy.
00:10:39.000But once they found this guy who was on vacation, the mayor of Reno actually called him and said, you've got to get back and help my friend out.
00:10:46.000And so he rushed out and he's just like, this is what he does for a living.
00:11:08.000And just lucky that the orbital bone that broke and the cheekbone that broke, they only wanted to do that because my face as an actor made me want to save my cheekbone, I guess.
00:15:09.000So how many different plates do you have?
00:15:13.000I think I got – it's only a couple in my face and they went in like underneath my cheek, a plate for my orbital socket and then for the cheekbone.
00:15:23.000They put I think a plate or two over there to hold that bone in place.
00:17:04.000It's the same stuff that people are doing just to reverse age.
00:17:07.000I just do it just because it's my recovery, and I have to for the rest of my life, just to prevent inflammation and discomfort and swelling, things like that.
00:17:15.000So, when you have so many broken bones and so many broken joints, what is the recovery like?
00:17:22.000Like, how do they even get you moving again?
00:20:13.000But the ribs, ironically, it was only painful for, I feel like, a couple weeks.
00:20:18.000I also had these, like, plastic suitcases for my lungs because I had to let it bleed out and this stuff was going in.
00:20:24.000I don't know what goop was in that thing, but I had to carry those things around for a while.
00:20:28.000Once I got rid of those, I was kind of sitting up a bit more, and I felt good once I was kind of sitting up.
00:20:35.000But there's still, as you can imagine, so much trauma, so many places.
00:20:39.000But I think the longest was really getting up to stand up, to walk, to get all your joints to work properly again, to relearn to walk, relearn to move because you really kind of have to.
00:20:52.000There's a lot of atrophy, as you can imagine, that happens.
00:20:54.000But I was standing up and moving around.
00:20:59.000I got into a chair probably by February after like three weeks.
00:22:13.000You know, they say that is one of the more difficult things with stroke victims, is the will to do the exercises to force yourself to recover.
00:22:37.000It's part of the reason why I wrote the book because it's a lonely place where people are struggling in recovery and when it's a lifetime recovery too.
00:22:46.000I hope they can find something they can grab onto.
00:22:49.000Like if this guy can get overcome this, I can get out of my own way here and maybe think of it a little differently.
00:22:57.000The only thing we have control of ever in life and perpetuity is our perspective.
00:23:03.000I could easily just go be victimized and cry about it and my career is over.
00:26:30.000So you're on it, and how long did you have to be on it for?
00:26:35.000I, again, always working to get off of it.
00:26:39.000And I think maybe it was around, if I got home on January 13th, Friday the 13th.
00:26:50.000I think it was probably less than a month, probably like beginning of February, because I had all my molars and stuff got pushed in, so my mouth's a hot mess, my jaw's broken.
00:27:01.000But I'd have night terrors, as you would, being awake through that trauma.
00:27:06.000And I bit down, and the tooth was just in a certain spot and just cracked my molar.
00:27:10.000And it goes down to the nerve and that.
00:29:56.000You know, it came with a price, but I got the okay to take a little fiber of Oxy to sleep on if you needed to mitigate some pain, just so I could sleep.
00:30:05.000I'm like, okay, maybe I'll do that if it happens.
00:30:08.000And I did once or twice or three times, maybe after that moment.
00:35:15.000By this time, it's like a year's gone by, but now I started working on cellular and blood health, and that's when I got to, like, my skin started to look great, you know, because your blood tells you what your body's producing and not producing, right?
00:35:27.000So that was a great report card or barometer of where I was at, why I'm not, you know, where my mitochondrial levels are at, anything was at.
00:41:56.000And that was really my first shot at allowing myself to think that there's a future and I'm not going to live a life of full-time recovery for the rest of my life.
00:42:09.000Oh, I can actually go do some other things that I enjoy doing with people in kind of a normal way.
00:42:15.000So I was without a cane, without anything by the time by June and summer came around.
00:42:21.000I'm moving around with inflammation and getting downstairs very slowly.
00:42:25.000But as you would, as long as you're patient, as I was, as aggressive I was with my recovery, I allowed patients to also live within that aggressive attack on each joint or each inflammation or wherever it was.
00:43:13.000I need to get back out into the world and use life as my recovery and still only spend four hours a day on hyperbaric chamber, red light, whatever the heck I could do to...
00:44:28.000You would stand on it, and it was supposed to just do a bunch of stuff for your hormones and endocrine system and all sorts of different stuff just by the vibration.
00:46:28.000No one time at anything is going to do anything, but if you do it often enough and make it a central part of your life, it's like, oh, I was on fire.
00:46:57.000If you've ever been in a car, you're on the freeway and it has a misalignment or it's a little shaky, or you've got a flat tire, it feels like I've got four flat tires when I'm running.
00:49:44.000What a great blessing to have all those people, even the EMTs and all the people that were there, the life-saving stuff that did all the stuff that they had to do, man.
00:50:09.000One of my best friends is a firefighter in that area, Jesse, and he's just retired.
00:50:14.000He got the phone call from his buddy who had to, like, stab my chest and release the pressure from the lung and da-da-da, like, on the ice.
00:50:22.000And he's the one that says, look, dude, Jesse, Jeremy, we did the best we could, dude.
00:50:27.000You don't want to get to the hospital.
00:50:40.000I went by every ENT, even the pilot that flew me up there and just had to give everyone the biggest squeeze and apologize if I was a pain in the ass or whatever it was, man.
00:50:51.000It's that reminds me of just why I'm back anyway and the only thing that you take with you is love, man.
00:50:59.000The beginning of the audiobook is your daughter.
00:52:35.000Because of fear, you get trapped, and it's too difficult to get out, and, you know, they get too deep and buried into some place that they get, I don't know, paint themselves in a corner, you know?
00:52:48.000It is sad, but it's also, I mean, there's an amazing example that you can...
00:52:56.000Shine to the rest of the world that maybe people don't have to go through what you went through to realize that most of what you're thinking about all day, especially if you're one of those people that's wrapped up in social media, most of the things you're thinking about all day are just nonsense.
00:53:13.000Just total nonsense that's stealing your life.
00:53:17.000One of the reasons why I wrote the book is I hope there's things that I learned and the gifts that I received from Yeah.
00:53:32.000It doesn't have to be a physical struggle, but, you know, it's a certain way to think and perspective to work your way through it because it is a lonely place.
00:53:41.000And I think there's something beautiful about the narrative of an author to a reader or even just audio, which is even more intense because you get the 911 call and it's kind of dramatic in that sense, but, like, it's pretty intimate.
00:53:54.000I think you can really move the needle for somebody.
00:53:57.000The more open and honest and vulnerable I am in sharing the narrative, the more I have a chance at connecting with the reader or listener.
00:54:14.000And it's so difficult for people to trust the process or to trust that it will get better.
00:54:22.000And this is unfortunately why a lot of people end their lives because they do not think it's going to get better.
00:54:27.000And you hear it from so many people that almost took their life or failed when they tried to take their life and now realize, oh my god, I was so wrong.
00:55:05.000It's just so hard for people that have never gone through something before.
00:55:08.000If your life has been really easy and then all of a sudden you're tasked with one of the most difficult burdens ever, overcoming the fear and the feeling of wanting to end life because you can't take it.
00:56:54.000I remember one time, I mean, this is a minor suffering in comparison, but one time I went on this hunting trip on Prince of Wales Island, which rains like 350 days a year.
00:57:05.000And so we were up there for a week just getting drenched.
00:57:09.000And, you know, you're camping, so you're in a tent, and you think, oh, well, I'll be dry in the tent.
00:57:47.000I was with good friends, and we had a good time.
00:57:49.000Then I came back to LA, you know, a week later, and I remember I called my friend Steve Rinella.
00:57:55.000I called because he's the one who took me on the trip, and I said, dude, it's sunny out, and I've never appreciated the sun like this before.
00:58:02.000I'm at a level of happiness that I don't think I've ever felt before.
00:58:07.000I'm just sitting outside with my eyes closed, just taking the sun.
00:58:43.000It seems sort of anti-human to want to do something to make yourself suffer, right?
00:58:49.000It doesn't seem very sort of characteristics of...
00:58:52.000We always want to take the fastest route to get somewhere.
00:58:55.000It's just innate in kind of human nature to do that, sadly.
00:59:01.000That leads to a life of complacency and mediocrity.
00:59:04.000Well, if you look at life today, and if you look at society today, we have unprecedented levels of depression and unprecedented levels of anxiety and unhappiness.
00:59:15.000Yet, it's probably the safest time ever.
00:59:19.000And it's probably the easiest time ever.
00:59:22.000It's so easy that poor people are fat.
00:59:42.000But it's way easier than starving to death.
00:59:46.000Like, this is like an unprecedented easy time.
00:59:48.000And because of that, and because there's this narrative that people have to constantly seek comfort, to seek vacation and relaxation and retirement and all that bullshit.
01:00:02.000There's this softness to existence and so everything that comes your way is overwhelming.
01:00:09.000Somebody said this once and it's like a great quote that I remember.
01:00:12.000The worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you regardless of how small that is.
01:00:19.000So if the worst thing that's ever happened to you is like, I remember my girlfriend broke up with me when I was 18. And I was like, oh, I couldn't believe that I thought I was going to be with her forever.
01:01:07.000And the people that I know that don't do anything and don't take any chances and don't take any risks and don't exercise and just seek comfort are the most miserable, anxiety-ridden people I know.
01:01:51.000Because I know the lazy mind just wants to, like, oh, yeah, let me just skip the gym today or let me not do PT today or whatever the heck it is.
01:01:59.000I don't want to get poked and prodded.
01:02:24.000I've never been happier, more connected to humans, more connected to my daughter, more connected to myself, more centered in my spirit, where I am right now, where I'll go, where I'll be, where I always am and always have been.
01:02:54.000Yeah, well you gotta surround yourself with others too that can inspire you too, right?
01:02:59.000So then you do things as a, even as you and I go work out and do something, it's a lot easier than going to the gym by yourself, right?
01:03:05.000Because we are social creatures, so let's do things that, like I'm doing, like I'm building a I have a whole rehab recovery center at my house.
01:03:14.000Maybe I can open this to the public and make this a communal cool thing so everyone has access to this stuff.
01:06:11.000There was a doctor who also helped me eat stuff, and I have people prepare some certain things for me, but I couldn't tell you what causes inflammation that I put in my mouth.
01:06:54.000And it's just all this surgery weight and all this stuff, and it's hard to get off when you have your hemoglobin's 2. I just have new energy.
01:07:02.000Also, you probably have to eat a lot, too, because your body needs calories in order to help you recover.
01:08:10.000No, it's really kind of an amazing story.
01:08:14.000It's just amazing how these stories can be so inspirational for other people too, which is why I'm really glad you wrote your book.
01:08:22.000Because these stories, like autobiographies, especially of people that you admire, that you've seen in movies before, it's like those struggles, they're so real.
01:08:32.000And when someone's going through something themselves and they can turn to your book...
01:11:32.000Data and information was stored in my brain and my heart and my spirit, and I had to unearth it and put it down into words, which I found to be the most difficult thing.
01:11:42.000Because as we speak, like I'm doing now, it's free to speak whatever you want, but to write down the words, oh wait, there's accountability to the words because they're written.
01:11:54.000My brain doesn't operate as fast as I'd like to for my vocabulary.
01:11:58.000I'd probably drop way too many F-bombs instead of really great words that I do know.
01:12:03.000So it was nice to be able to take the time and spend the agony to really kind of express Word by word through it, you know, in a very real honest way.
01:12:16.000It's more like a diary, a recounting diary, than it was trying to be fancy with words and overcomplicate something that's really quite so simple.
01:12:27.000What was the process like of going over the words and deciding what to keep and what to edit out and how to format everything?
01:15:11.000But it's an amazing book on breathing techniques and the history of breathing techniques and all the different things that people have achieved with breathing techniques, including holotropic breathing, which achieves psychedelic states of consciousness and all these different feats of incredible physical endurance that people have achieved through breath work.
01:17:46.000I think the problem is you just get trapped in that feeling and then the moment something comes up that's very difficult Yeah, that causes you to spiral again.
01:17:58.000I think it's one of the most difficult things about this whole audition process that actors go through is that there's this That's a golden carrot that's at the end of the stick.
01:18:14.000And if you do a good job, you might be a fucking movie star.
01:19:01.000I moved to L.A. to be in a movie, be in a movie that was big enough that I would play in Modesto, California, where I'm from, because you don't get all the movies there, right?
01:19:09.000And being a part in that movie that I wouldn't have to tell my family, you know, I'm the guy in the red shirt waving in the background.
01:19:16.000It's a part big enough that you would just know I'm in the movie.
01:19:18.000And I got that, all those goals, in the first job I ever did on camera.
01:19:24.000In this National Lampoon senior trip movie.
01:19:26.000So then I had to recalibrate now new goals.
01:21:38.000It's all such a mental game because you have to be cool in those high intense situations because you're dealing with 155 explosives that'll blow this building off the block.
01:21:50.000And the level of intensity is really interesting.
01:21:57.000They were so comfortable around C4 and all these things.
01:22:52.000I always had that, but, like, really doing that role and spending so much time with these crew of amazing people just heightened that for me.
01:23:02.000I've always been a quiet and observer, and this is where I just got information.
01:23:04.000I can tell you the color of the hinges if they match the finish on the doorknobs in places.
01:24:48.000And I wouldn't want to do that because we wanted to be very authentic to what we were doing.
01:24:52.000We are still making a movie, but let's live in this world.
01:24:55.000And look, the narrative is the characters that live in this bizarre world in a very relevant time, in this war that we're in, and also the struggles of, you know, soldier and civilian life.
01:25:08.000And because they were civilians and now they became soldiers, they'd be put in prison for life for doing the shit they're getting paid to do now.
01:25:15.000And that was a wonderful sort of outcome of the movie of how it bridged that sort of gap or the struggles with PTSD and coming back from this harrowing sort of existence and war.
01:25:28.000And then coming back in like the cereal aisle.
01:26:03.000That became such a powerful thing in that narrative that I found after we did it and we're showing it to all the military bases.
01:26:12.000It's always going to be a special experience in my life and I'll always be connected to a lot of soldiers because of that.
01:26:18.000Well, it was a really well done movie.
01:26:22.000There was a thing about that movie that made you think in a way, or made me think in a way that I don't think I ever thought before.
01:26:31.000Like, oh, I never considered what this transition to civilian life is like after dealing with the unbelievable stress of being in a war zone, defusing bombs.
01:28:44.000When you're at this sort of stage in your life where you're so well-known, people come to you with things, and you have to decide whether or not this project is something that resonates with you.
01:28:58.000The central part of my life for so long was my career.
01:29:04.000And then my daughter came around, and then she's number one.
01:29:07.000So then I would do the job that would...
01:29:12.000Allow me still to be a father because I'm not going to not be a father because my job takes me away for long periods of time and I'm just not doing that in far places.
01:29:21.000So I'm not working out of the country anymore once my daughter was born.
01:29:26.000So I always had reach and access to my daughter as fast as I needed to be.
01:29:30.000And then now, after the incident, it's even tightened up more and loosened up more because my daughter is now 12 and she doesn't need me.
01:29:39.000As much, she wants her friends a little bit more.
01:30:46.000Well, that limitation is real success too.
01:30:48.000Do you really choose things that you're actually passionate about that fit within these parameters and allow you to live your life the way you want to?
01:31:44.000Big central part of my life with my family that runs this charitable foundation in my community in Lake Tahoe for foster youth and disadvantaged youth and giving them opportunities that they don't have these poor kids.
01:33:14.000And the wonderful oversimplification has allowed me to, again, use the word retirement in my mind.
01:33:21.000I'm just living a life that I want to live, that I deserve to live, that I choose to live, and not be limited or rabbit-holed or victimized by...
01:33:31.000Society or the country I'm living in or the neighborhood I'm living in or the job I have.
01:33:37.000I don't have any limitations because I'm making manifest everything that I have in my life.
01:35:17.000Argue with people or post things and I just see people doing it and I'm like, you're losing your fucking mind and I've had conversations with friends and they're like, you know, you know what fucking this and that and that and this.
01:36:29.000If you surround yourself with really great people, you're forced to become a really great person.
01:36:35.000It's like you have to keep up with it.
01:36:37.000This foundation, tell me how you started that.
01:36:40.000It initially started with a show that I produced and put on Disney +, which is called Renovations.
01:36:48.000I didn't like to see a lot of vehicles go to waste, like purpose-built vehicles, like a city bus or a fire truck and all these things.
01:36:56.000Supposed to go long, long, long ways, but they just replace them even though they're perfectly good vehicles.
01:37:01.000So I wanted to repurpose those and help them, help communities in need.
01:37:07.000So it's taking, I built one to be a box truck to be a water treatment plant to give kids in villages with terrible water and be able to reverse osmosis their water and give them drinkable water at their school.
01:37:32.000It's kind of like Pit My Ride, but with real valuable things.
01:37:35.000Just take these really cool purpose-built trucks and make it something really spectacular for these kids.
01:37:40.000It's all kids-driven to give them what their needs are.
01:37:45.000And then it just went into, I didn't want to make it about just vehicles.
01:37:49.000When I wanted to start the foundation, it became a wonderful calling card.
01:37:52.000And then I started the foundation, and my sister works for DCFS, which was Child Protective Services in Los Angeles County.
01:37:58.000And one of my best girlfriends in Reno, she also works for CPS, Child Protective Services, there.
01:38:03.000So I've been working with foster youth for many, many, many years privately.
01:38:08.000And now I just wanted to really get invested into the community.
01:38:12.000So I started small in northern, greater northern Nevada.
01:38:16.000And my sister now is running it, and Shayna is running it as well with me, and the whole family has now gotten involved.
01:38:22.000And it's been really wonderful to come back from the incident, have this be a central goal for us to celebrate our time together as a family and to give back to these kids that are in great need.
01:38:38.000And it has been a dream of mine that I've been wanting to do for a long time and now do it publicly.
01:38:43.000I've been doing it privately for a long time.
01:38:46.000And to really make a big splash and make a lot of movement for these kids.
01:38:51.000And I think it's one of the reasons why I was brought back outside of all the other things.
01:38:56.000But I think there's something working in my favor to come back outside my family.
01:39:03.000And I think it is my reach to kids and my ability to...
01:40:03.000We're going to just planting seeds like that in their head and then creating community for them, creating opportunities for them, safe places for them, giving them more educated stuff.
01:40:13.000We brought in a recording studio bus for them to touch all these instruments that they'd never have access to.
01:42:12.000And we're doing it not only just as a camp, but we're doing, like, lots of programs throughout the year to keep the community of the foster youth community together.
01:42:20.000A lot of these kids are brothers and sisters that never get to see each other because they're in separate homes, separate cities.
01:44:32.000I work with the kids and work with the ideas and the programs and my sister and those guys in the – And the board deal with, like, you're having to raise money and all those kind of things.
01:46:50.000Again, I'm focusing my energy on all the positive stuff, you know, because I'm too sensitive to deal with the hardships that they go through.
01:47:00.000So let me just be a guiding light for them or someone to laugh on.
01:47:07.000They have to sign my t-shirts, whatever they want to do.
01:49:21.000I broke windows and slingshots and stole shit and lighted up the cigarette butt and my mom's and all this stuff and I got caught and sometimes I learned and I reprimand myself.
01:50:00.000Well, I lived all over the place, but I lived when I was 7 to 11. I lived in San Francisco from 11 to 13. I lived in Florida from 13 till 24. I lived in Boston.
01:51:20.000But eventually overcame all that stuff and then...
01:51:26.000Through martial arts, traveling around all throughout my youth from the time I was 15 until I was 22. So all I did was travel around the country and competing.
01:51:37.000So I had a very bizarre life in that I didn't have the normal high school life of partying and hanging out.
01:51:46.000No, I was flying to California to fight.
01:52:28.000You know, it's like I was really good at it so I could show them.
01:52:32.000I'm going to demonstrate something to you, and then I'd do it, and they'd be like, holy shit!
01:52:36.000I'd be like, I'm going to show you how to do this.
01:52:38.000And then, if you listen to me, like, I taught at Boston University when I was 19, and it was a real counter torture GPA.
01:52:46.000It was like, pass, fail, A. And I'd say, all you have to do is show up and try, and you get an A. And if you can't show up, call me, tell me you can't make it.
01:53:55.000know from there's just some positive things that kind of come out from that right like I like I went to a different school every year of my life at least until I got to high school but I was in the same town I didn't move around a lot maybe just in the town I did divorce and all that sort of stuff our schools were full
01:54:42.000Even though the two quiet guys are yapping their jaws off for hours.
01:54:46.000Well, I mean, it was hard, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way because I think it made me different.
01:54:55.000And I think there's, unfortunately, if you are in like a small town and you grow up in that town and you never leave that town, your perspective is very limited.
01:55:33.000Very liberal and progressive San Francisco in the 1970s during the Vietnam War to living in Florida where it was like completely the opposite, like super conservative and kind of retarded.
01:55:44.000And I remember just being around people like, why are they even...
01:56:05.000Well, don't we, like, especially growing up, right?
01:56:07.000Because you're saying, like, 7, 8, 13, 14, all those years, we look to our friends and friendship groups as sort of, like, kind of...
01:56:14.000Help develop ourselves and kind of be a reflection upon ourselves.
01:56:18.000If you don't have it, you have other things that you turn to.
01:56:23.000Like you said, it could have been a terrible thing if you stayed in the same place and you had the same four or four dues and then how limited your life would have been to staying in San Fran.
01:56:33.000Like you said, there's a real good positive thing to take from.
01:56:37.000Being removed from stability, removed from, right?
01:59:20.000Okay, let's go like this is what I'm supposed to do and that that is very hard to do but once you do it a few times and then you start saying That there's a little voice in your head like that motherfuckers never let me down I'm gonna keep serving that voice whatever that voice is.
01:59:36.000I'm gonna keep listening Even though people are like, what are you doing?
01:59:39.000And I'm like, I'm not going to listen to you.
02:00:39.000If you could get a chart of how many people move to Los Angeles to try to make it in show business and how many make it, it's got to be an astronomical number.
02:01:12.000But you have to be willing to just really fucking throw yourself into something and know that Especially in the beginning, there's no time to fuck off here.
02:01:25.000If you really want to do something that's really hard to do, you've got to be all in.
02:01:31.000Because there's too many people that are all in.
02:01:44.000Well, isn't there kind of a selective hearing that kind of has to happen in anything for anyone?
02:01:48.000We have to listen and really listen to engage and really listen to learn and grow.
02:01:55.000But then we have to have selective listening to, like, how many times I was told no or I was told I was crazy or to, like, what are you doing?
02:02:02.000I'm like, ooh, now I knew I'm on the right track when I hear that.
02:02:06.000Because that's the words of a fearful person.
02:02:09.000Those are the words uttered from someone who's scared and not courageous and a lot of stuff's in their way.
02:02:16.000I'm on the right track when people say that.
02:02:19.000There are those people that would try to sabotage you because they don't want you to be successful because they haven't taken a chance in their life.
02:02:25.000So they don't want anybody who does, who's courageous.
02:04:59.000Would you be this person if you hadn't been wrongly accused and spent years in prison and publicly persecuted and then eventually absolved?
02:06:27.000People, like, what the terrible choices that people make, because most of the people that were in there were guilty, you know, and the terrible choices that these people make.
02:06:36.000And, like, what happened to you when you were young?
02:06:38.000Like, why did you become a person who murdered your husband?
02:06:41.000Why did you become a person who, you know, robbed a bank?
02:07:15.000I love my daughters dearly, and they're very extraordinary people, but it's been fascinating to watch.
02:07:21.000As little babies become these really complex human beings and have conversations with them and talk to them and see how they interface with life.
02:07:30.000And then I meet people who are all fucked up and angry and fucking hateful.
02:08:58.000I'll keep trying and testing the limits of my body and my mind and my spirit and what I can pass on to others, what I can give on to others, what they give me.
02:09:09.000I mean, it is a vibrant, high vibration that I'm living right now.