The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2354 - Joe DeRosa

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

00:00:13.000 Joe DeRosa taking notes.

00:00:15.000 Look at you, scholarly young man.

00:00:18.000 There's so many things I want to talk to you about.

00:00:22.000 Yeah, this is like a really, this is really interesting.

00:00:22.000 You know?

00:00:26.000 Like, like to sit with you one-on-one like this.

00:00:30.000 It really is.

00:00:32.000 And I say that outside of who you are to the world, which is obviously impressive.

00:00:38.000 I say it to you just as a comic that knows you and has been friendly with you for many years.

00:00:43.000 We don't get a, you know, usually when I see you, it's at the mothership.

00:00:46.000 Green room, 50 people around.

00:00:48.000 50 people.

00:00:49.000 It's your place.

00:00:50.000 There's a lot going on.

00:00:52.000 And I was like, man, it's going to be interesting to get to sit across from Joe and just talk to him and have a conversation.

00:00:59.000 What did you write down?

00:01:00.000 I wrote Sober.

00:01:02.000 Sober.

00:01:03.000 Which I'll explain.

00:01:04.000 But Family was the first thing I wrote, or the second thing I wrote, but the first thing I wanted to say was it's incredible, man, because I was in there last night.

00:01:13.000 My special came out yesterday, and I was in the club last night.

00:01:16.000 I just dropped in real quick to say hi to Tony, and Ari was around for his last night before he...

00:01:24.000 He's going on a walkabout?

00:01:26.000 Some secret.

00:01:26.000 He just sent me some text message.

00:01:29.000 He said this weekend was perfect for my send-off from stand-up comedy.

00:01:33.000 And I go, what does that mean?

00:01:34.000 My send-off?

00:01:36.000 What are you doing?

00:01:37.000 Fucking weirdo.

00:01:38.000 He's going.

00:01:41.000 He always has to fucking throw his life into a turmoil every couple of years.

00:01:46.000 He's the weirdest man I've ever met.

00:01:48.000 Oh, he's so weird.

00:01:49.000 I love him.

00:01:49.000 He's awesome, though.

00:01:50.000 He's amazing.

00:01:51.000 He's one of my best friends.

00:01:52.000 He's a unique, very unique individual.

00:01:54.000 That's a one-of-one.

00:01:56.000 And he's done some stuff.

00:01:56.000 Yes.

00:01:58.000 He's a polarizing individual.

00:02:00.000 Oh, without a doubt.

00:02:01.000 Without a doubt.

00:02:02.000 He took his shit on stage with a note inside of it during a Skank Fest show.

00:02:06.000 He shit on the plastic and then pulled out the note and read it.

00:02:10.000 Yeah, I remember that happening.

00:02:12.000 Yeah, don't do that.

00:02:14.000 I talked to him about it, and he goes, I go, Ari, I love you.

00:02:19.000 Why do you make it so hard for yourself?

00:02:22.000 And he goes, he got mad.

00:02:23.000 We were sitting in the green room.

00:02:25.000 It was just me and him, and he got mad and he's sitting there.

00:02:27.000 He goes, he goes, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

00:02:28.000 And censor jokes.

00:02:29.000 And then I go, no, no, no.

00:02:31.000 I'm not into censoring jokes.

00:02:32.000 I'm saying you shouldn't bloody shit on a stage.

00:02:35.000 And he kept going, and I look him in the eye.

00:02:36.000 I go, Brian, you did the only thing I've ever seen shake Brian Holtzman.

00:02:42.000 Or Ari, sorry.

00:02:43.000 I go, Ari, you've done the only thing I've seen shake Brian Holtzman.

00:02:47.000 I saw Brian after you did that, and Holtzman was like, I don't know.

00:02:53.000 But that's what he wants.

00:02:55.000 That's what Ari wants. 0.99

00:02:56.000 Mission accomplished.

00:02:57.000 Yeah, he's like, you know, he's the real deal.

00:02:57.000 Oh, my God.

00:03:00.000 He's really fucking throws it all into the fire.

00:03:03.000 He runs right into the wood chipper.

00:03:04.000 Let's see.

00:03:05.000 Yes.

00:03:06.000 Yeah.

00:03:08.000 But I like it.

00:03:09.000 Like, he's thinking about like creatively, you hit like dips and you don't know what to talk about anymore.

00:03:16.000 And sometimes you need to go on a walkabout.

00:03:20.000 Yeah, I see him and I admire it greatly because it's so opposite of how I'm wired.

00:03:27.000 Yeah, it's not me either.

00:03:29.000 I don't dig it.

00:03:29.000 But he goes like months at a time with nothing but like a burner phone.

00:03:33.000 Yeah.

00:03:34.000 No text message, no emails, no nothing.

00:03:37.000 I said to him yesterday, I go, I'm going to miss you, dude.

00:03:40.000 He's like, I'm going to miss you too.

00:03:42.000 And I go, I go, please stay in touch.

00:03:44.000 He goes, I go, please stay in touch.

00:03:45.000 He goes, he goes, I'll hit you up in a couple months with a number from another.

00:03:50.000 Yeah, he likes to do that.

00:03:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:52.000 But it works for him.

00:03:55.000 He's not faking it.

00:03:56.000 He genuinely enjoys doing it.

00:03:58.000 Yeah.

00:03:59.000 He's smart.

00:04:01.000 He's like, I got to throw my brain into a totally different environment every now and again and see what's really going on.

00:04:08.000 I think he likes the challenge that life can be.

00:04:12.000 Like, I think he likes the idea of Like, it's all about, if you don't face it, what's the point?

00:04:27.000 You know?

00:04:28.000 So I think he creates these incredible, it's so funny.

00:04:32.000 You know, when you discuss what he's about to do with certain people, some people go, that's insane.

00:04:36.000 What?

00:04:37.000 And other people go, oh, my God, I admire it so good.

00:04:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:04:41.000 It's sort of like the guy that killed the United Healthcare CEO.

00:04:47.000 Depending upon your perspective, it was either so fucking awesome or, oh, my God, they're going to start killing CEOs.

00:04:55.000 Luigi Shafir.

00:04:57.000 And he's so handsome.

00:04:58.000 Yes.

00:04:59.000 The thing about Luigi, though, is Luigi picked the right person to kill.

00:05:03.000 Not like meaning that guy.

00:05:05.000 I mean a healthcare executive.

00:05:08.000 You're going to get the least amount of sympathy.

00:05:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:05:11.000 Not that individual one.

00:05:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:12.000 Look, you shouldn't kill anybody.

00:05:14.000 I can't believe I have to say this, but yeah, don't go shooting people.

00:05:16.000 I agree.

00:05:17.000 But also, like when you realize how, you know, Ben Askren, I don't know who his healthcare provider was, but Ben Askrin, he developed some kind of crazy pneumonia and then it became necrotic.

00:05:29.000 So it like ate holes in his lungs.

00:05:32.000 Okay.

00:05:32.000 He's 40 years old.

00:05:33.000 So former UFC fighter, former Bellator champion, elite athlete, fantastic wrestler.

00:05:39.000 Had to get a double lung surgery, double lung replacement surgery at 40.

00:05:44.000 And insurance didn't want to cover it.

00:05:46.000 It's insane.

00:05:47.000 It's insane.

00:05:48.000 What are you talking about?

00:05:49.000 He's going to die.

00:05:50.000 Like, he doesn't have lungs anymore.

00:05:52.000 He was on a fucking ventilator for months.

00:05:54.000 He didn't have lungs anymore.

00:05:56.000 I can't even fathom.

00:05:58.000 I just had a bunch of water damage.

00:06:01.000 My dishwasher leaked while I was away.

00:06:03.000 And I had a bunch of water damage in my condo that I had to get, obviously, fixed.

00:06:08.000 There was rotted wood and cottage mold and all this stuff.

00:06:12.000 And my insurance company gave me sort of what I needed to cover it.

00:06:19.000 You know what I mean?

00:06:20.000 Yeah.

00:06:21.000 And I was furious.

00:06:22.000 I can't fucking imagine if you're in a situation like that where it's your health or if it's your home like with the people with the fires.

00:06:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:30.000 I can't even imagine the fucking rage.

00:06:36.000 Like it's, it's, it's undefinable.

00:06:38.000 And they wouldn't cover.

00:06:39.000 So that's.

00:06:40.000 It's such a weird game they're playing.

00:06:41.000 Their businesses pay you as little as possible and get you to give them money every month so that maybe if something happens, they'll pay for it.

00:06:52.000 Maybe, but maybe not.

00:06:53.000 I have a friend.

00:06:54.000 Maybe not.

00:06:55.000 Maybe not.

00:06:56.000 Maybe you need a double lug transplant.

00:06:57.000 And they're like, nope, we're not going to cover that.

00:06:59.000 That's too much money.

00:07:00.000 Come to court or figure it out.

00:07:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:02.000 Insurance has become buying the protection plan at Best Buy.

00:07:07.000 But no, Best Buy's protection plan is way better.

00:07:10.000 It's way better.

00:07:12.000 If you buy like a new Samsung Galaxy phone, you buy the protection plan at Best Buy, and then it fucks up on you.

00:07:17.000 They give you a fucking brand new one.

00:07:20.000 They just have you fill out a little paperwork.

00:07:22.000 You show your receipt.

00:07:23.000 They shake your hand.

00:07:23.000 Thank you.

00:07:24.000 You say thank you to them and you leave.

00:07:26.000 It's fucking great.

00:07:30.000 Insurance Gamble's the craziest Gamble ever.

00:07:32.000 I'm going to pay you every month and hopefully you'll be kind enough to cover my insurance if something goes wrong.

00:07:38.000 It is fucking wild.

00:07:39.000 Dude, I have a friend who's a lawyer who has to often rep insurance companies in cases.

00:07:45.000 Oh, my God.

00:07:46.000 And I said to him, I said, dude, with all due respect, I'm not coming at you.

00:07:50.000 I go, how do you sleep at night?

00:07:52.000 You know, it's a tough position to be in.

00:07:53.000 And he said, he goes, here's how I justify it.

00:07:57.000 If I get the insurance company off or I save them some money, that does trickle down to the users with their premiums, making insurance continually as affordable as possible.

00:08:07.000 He goes, the second I lose for my client, they turn around and fuck everybody even more.

00:08:14.000 So he's like, that's the one little silver lining with it, like, I guess, you know?

00:08:18.000 But that's a very sad.

00:08:19.000 That's a weird silver lining.

00:08:21.000 That sounds like someone trying to cope.

00:08:24.000 Doesn't it?

00:08:25.000 It totally sounds like I have to kill some people.

00:08:27.000 There's an overpopulation problem, Joe DeRosa.

00:08:30.000 So we're going to have to go around and kill people.

00:08:31.000 That's what that sounds like to me.

00:08:34.000 It's like, what?

00:08:35.000 It'll make it better for everybody else.

00:08:36.000 There'll be less resources being depleted by the people we kill.

00:08:39.000 Like, what?

00:08:40.000 Do you think that there's.

00:08:42.000 His is more job injury style.

00:08:44.000 I know, and it's so gaslighty.

00:08:46.000 It's so gaslighty.

00:08:47.000 If we fuck these people over, it'll be better for everybody else.

00:08:50.000 Because then you could feed the demons.

00:08:52.000 The demons would be appeased.

00:08:54.000 God, you know, I never thought of it that way.

00:08:56.000 And I had a feeling as I was saying it, you were going to flip it into a thing that was going to leave me disturbed.

00:09:00.000 And it has.

00:09:01.000 If there's anything demonic, like people don't want to think about demonic, like they don't want to think like, oh, there's like a devil with a pitchfork and a fucking tail with a pointy end to it.

00:09:11.000 But like, what is demonic behavior?

00:09:14.000 Like, if you know that someone's going to die, but you can deny them coverage because you just can make some sort of subjective decision whether or not this person should get coverage.

00:09:26.000 And then you know they're going to die and they've been paying for insurance for years.

00:09:30.000 How do you do that?

00:09:33.000 That's like a pact with it.

00:09:34.000 Like you could just sign here and then they're covered.

00:09:37.000 And then they get this operation.

00:09:39.000 You do everything you can to help them.

00:09:40.000 And then everybody loves your company.

00:09:42.000 Or you could say, I just want the money now.

00:09:44.000 It's dark.

00:09:47.000 It's just, there's no pitchforks.

00:09:48.000 There's no brimstone.

00:09:50.000 So you don't think, you know, you don't think it's demonic.

00:09:53.000 The thing that leaves me without hope, and I am not a very hope-filled individual, but the thing that leaves me without, with, with even less hope every day is I feel like the culture and people in all positions, you know, yours is, we're talking a very macro example of the thing.

00:10:12.000 I find that more and more people every day put themselves, they position themselves in a way where they say, I will not be accountable and I will force you to be the one that has accountability to hold me to something.

00:10:25.000 And until you hold me to something where I cannot squirm or pivot in any way, at that point I will then be accountable.

00:10:33.000 And I feel that more and more people operate like that, obviously on a corporate level, but also an individualistic level.

00:10:39.000 It makes me very, very sad.

00:10:41.000 It's like having so many people that you encounter in your life, sometimes it's friends.

00:10:47.000 And you're sitting there going, really?

00:10:48.000 I have to be the adult?

00:10:51.000 I have to sit you down as a 48-year-old man and say to you, what you're acting like right now is fucked up.

00:10:58.000 Why do I have to do that with you?

00:11:00.000 Because you're not going to do it.

00:11:02.000 So I guess I have to.

00:11:04.000 And the more that you try to hold yourself to accountability, and I'm not patting myself on the back in any way, but I find that burden grows and grows and grows.

00:11:12.000 And you just start to get to this place where you're like, what the fuck is going on?

00:11:17.000 It's like an epidemic of ethics at a certain point.

00:11:20.000 Especially if you get indoctrinated into a real cutthroat corporate environment.

00:11:27.000 You know, those guys can justify a lot of stuff because that's in the culture.

00:11:31.000 Like our culture is talking shit to each other.

00:11:33.000 Like the way we talk shit to each other, like there's a lot of people in a lot of other jobs that would have a giant problem with what you and I think is awesome.

00:11:41.000 Like if you cracked on me and it was fucking awesome and we're all howling, like I could get you in real trouble if we were accountants.

00:11:47.000 Yeah.

00:11:48.000 Yeah.

00:11:48.000 You know?

00:11:49.000 If we're accountants, that'd be a giant problem.

00:11:51.000 So we're used to fucking with each other and we're used to laughing about stuff and we're used to saying ridiculous shit that we don't really mean just for fun.

00:11:51.000 Yeah.

00:11:58.000 And most people aren't.

00:12:00.000 So this is our culture.

00:12:01.000 This would freak like if you got normies and you brought them into the green room of the mothership and we're all just hanging out one night just talking and having fun, you'd probably freak them out that people talk like this.

00:12:12.000 Like, Jesus Christ, you guys are at work and you talk like this?

00:12:14.000 This is crazy.

00:12:15.000 It's why comics get, I've seen people get very offended who aren't comics that get brought into a green room.

00:12:20.000 And the comics are kind of ignoring them or making it very clear we don't want you in here.

00:12:20.000 Right.

00:12:24.000 And people think that that's the comics thinking who the fuck they are.

00:12:24.000 Yeah.

00:12:28.000 It's not.

00:12:29.000 It's like, guys, we have a thing we do.

00:12:31.000 You're not part of it.

00:12:32.000 You're not going to understand it.

00:12:34.000 And I've seen more than once somebody get offended by something we're saying who shouldn't have been in here in the first place.

00:12:39.000 It's usually someone's boyfriend or girlfriend.

00:12:41.000 Yeah.

00:12:41.000 Yes.

00:12:41.000 Mormons always.

00:12:43.000 I'm trying to be nice.

00:12:43.000 Yeah.

00:12:45.000 It's someone's girlfriend. 0.55

00:12:46.000 I've been once with a guy.

00:12:48.000 But you got to count it.

00:12:50.000 You got to count it.

00:12:51.000 Once in 1968, a man got offended at a green room.

00:12:51.000 Yeah.

00:12:55.000 There's some guys that are just notoriously make bad decisions, and then they bring their bad decisions around for everybody else to revel in.

00:13:02.000 God, almighty.

00:13:04.000 I mean, is there anything worse?

00:13:06.000 right, but this is just our culture.

00:13:07.000 That's the most minor of things to worry about.

00:13:10.000 Someone fucking up the vibe of the green room with dopey talk, which is fine, which is fine.

00:13:15.000 But it's so much better than in that cutthroat.

00:13:20.000 It literally rewards sociopathic behavior.

00:13:24.000 Like, to be a person who thinks entirely on the bottom line of the company, this is my job as a blah, blah, blah.

00:13:31.000 You know, my job is to make sure that we make more money every fucking quarter period, end of discussion.

00:13:36.000 And then you get in that mindset, and that's what you're trying to do.

00:13:38.000 And everybody else is trying to do that too.

00:13:40.000 So they're all fucking each other over.

00:13:42.000 And then what's the ultimate form of that?

00:13:44.000 Politics.

00:13:44.000 Yeah.

00:13:45.000 The ultimate form of that.

00:13:46.000 The ultimate form of fucking everybody over and making the biggest exaggerations and lying the most about people and using the most leverage.

00:13:57.000 It's wild to watch, man.

00:13:59.000 And what you're describing is, you know, it's quintessential Rod Serling shit.

00:14:05.000 It's when people, it comes down to survival.

00:14:08.000 Because eventually, that to me is what the technique is and how you get it to keep working in your favor if you're the asshole at the top of the food chain, right?

00:14:17.000 You say, if I make people desperate enough, they will do desperate things to keep the situation that they feel now privileged to have or lucky to have.

00:14:26.000 And you get people.

00:14:28.000 Did you ever see a Twilight Zone where the guy has the bunker?

00:14:31.000 Yeah.

00:14:32.000 And he tells the neighbors, I keep telling you, build a nuclear bunker.

00:14:35.000 You're going to need it.

00:14:35.000 They're all making fun of him.

00:14:36.000 And then the thing comes over the radio as they're talking at dinner.

00:14:40.000 There are nuclear missiles on the way, whatever.

00:14:42.000 And he goes to his bunker and they're all at his door, like let us in.

00:14:45.000 He goes, I told you guys you should have made a bunker.

00:14:48.000 There's only enough room in here for me and my family.

00:14:51.000 And they kick his door in and they turn on each other and they start getting racial with each other.

00:14:56.000 Right?

00:14:57.000 And then at the end, it was a false alarm.

00:14:59.000 Oh, God.

00:15:00.000 And now everybody's revealed.

00:15:02.000 Everybody's sitting there, yeah.

00:15:03.000 And they're like, well, sorry about that.

00:15:05.000 He's like, no, there's no turning back from this, you know?

00:15:08.000 But that's what it is.

00:15:09.000 It's people get so desperate.

00:15:11.000 It's survival.

00:15:12.000 And as long as they feel that fear, that threat that my weekly paycheck might be cut off from me and that starts the chain of dominoes to my children starving or whatever it is.

00:15:25.000 People do some really foul fucking shit, man.

00:15:28.000 You know, some really foul fucking shit.

00:15:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:31.000 You know, I feel very lucky that we're in several different ways.

00:15:36.000 You know, we're all operating sort of at different levels of this crazy industry we're in.

00:15:42.000 But all of us in this circle that we now all exist in in comedy, it's like we all get to be independently employed, independently sufficient.

00:15:53.000 And I think that allows you to potentially live a better life, you know?

00:15:57.000 It's just a better way of life for sure.

00:16:00.000 Well, at least for us.

00:16:01.000 But the thing is, some people, they genuinely like coding.

00:16:05.000 You know what I mean?

00:16:06.000 So it's like, unless you can get a job off-site where they let you, they don't even let you do that anymore.

00:16:11.000 Now they're making people go back to work, which is so interesting.

00:16:14.000 Because there was a few people that fucked it up for everybody else, probably.

00:16:17.000 It was like a bunch of lazy people who fucked off and didn't really do their work and kind of like half-assed everything because they were at home in their fucking pajamas and they didn't want to go back to work.

00:16:26.000 Yeah.

00:16:27.000 There are guys out there that are like, I love being a janitor.

00:16:27.000 Yeah.

00:16:30.000 What do you want me to do?

00:16:32.000 I got to go work somewhere.

00:16:33.000 It's just people saying they don't want to go back to the office.

00:16:37.000 That to me is a wild one.

00:16:39.000 Like, yo, everyone always had to work in an office.

00:16:41.000 There was a reason.

00:16:41.000 You go there, that's to work.

00:16:43.000 When you're at home, you could be staring at your phone.

00:16:45.000 You could be jerking off.

00:16:46.000 How many reporters got caught jerking off to Zoom calls?

00:16:52.000 You can't just leave people alone.

00:16:54.000 They'll pretend they're doing as good a job.

00:16:57.000 They're not.

00:16:58.000 They got to go to the office.

00:16:59.000 That's why all the people that are super ambitious, like psycho Elon Musk type characters, you got to go to the fucking office.

00:17:06.000 You know, dude, yeah, and it's, I have mixed feelings about the office thing because I worked in offices at one point.

00:17:13.000 I understand somebody saying, dude, it was soul deadening.

00:17:17.000 The overhead lights, the gray cubicles right up, right?

00:17:20.000 Oh, I get it.

00:17:20.000 So I get like, I don't want to be in that environment.

00:17:22.000 It sucks.

00:17:24.000 But now you see offices, I talk about this in my act a little bit.

00:17:27.000 It's like, now they make them fun.

00:17:28.000 There's like ping-pong tables and shit like that.

00:17:31.000 I don't like that either.

00:17:32.000 I think that creates the wrong vibe at work.

00:17:35.000 Severance.

00:17:36.000 Right?

00:17:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:38.000 It should be just soul-deadening enough that you feel like I must work.

00:17:42.000 Yes.

00:17:43.000 But maybe not.

00:17:44.000 I want to hang myself.

00:17:45.000 God.

00:17:46.000 You know?

00:17:47.000 And I think all that beanbag chairs in the office shit is a fucking fishing lure.

00:17:52.000 What did you do when you were an office worker?

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00:19:02.000 The last one I had was I worked for the Texas Senate in Texas.

00:19:07.000 I worked for the...

00:19:11.000 I was waiting for you to finish this.

00:19:12.000 This is interesting.

00:19:13.000 I didn't want to.

00:19:14.000 Give it away.

00:19:15.000 No, I worked for the Texas Senate.

00:19:18.000 I worked for the Senate Media Department during the 76th legislative session or the 77th.

00:19:25.000 No shit.

00:19:25.000 What'd you do with them?

00:19:27.000 So I went to college for production, video and audio production.

00:19:34.000 And I got out of school.

00:19:36.000 And at the time, I graduated in 2000, so it was right after that whole Tarantino Robert Rodriguez indie film boom happened.

00:19:48.000 And I said, That's what I want to do.

00:19:49.000 I want to work in independent film.

00:19:51.000 I'm going to, I want to do that.

00:19:53.000 I want to write scripts.

00:19:53.000 I want to direct movies.

00:19:55.000 I want to create like in that space.

00:19:57.000 So I said, Well, I keep hearing about this Austin, Texas.

00:20:02.000 Robert Rodriguez is from there.

00:20:04.000 Who's the guy?

00:20:05.000 Slacker.

00:20:07.000 The guy did Slacker and Dazed and Confused.

00:20:12.000 Richard Linkletter.

00:20:13.000 Yeah, Richard Linkletter.

00:20:14.000 He was from here.

00:20:15.000 And I'm like, well, those guys are doing stuff down there.

00:20:17.000 And, you know, I had no fucking concept how any of it worked.

00:20:20.000 So I moved down here.

00:20:23.000 I met a few people that had the same interest.

00:20:25.000 I was like, yeah, this is what I want to do.

00:20:27.000 Immediately they were like, yeah, get in fucking line, buddy.

00:20:30.000 Good luck.

00:20:32.000 So I got a job.

00:20:35.000 For a little while, I was working at like the PBS or whatever, the government TV station over here, whatever the hell it was.

00:20:41.000 Mike Judge is out here, too.

00:20:42.000 Don't forget that.

00:20:43.000 Oh, yeah, Mike Judge, yes.

00:20:45.000 And I was working there and you're, you know, it was brutal.

00:20:48.000 You're holding a camera for four hours in a studio as two people talk about, you know, fucking, I don't know, new county lines and shit.

00:20:57.000 Your neck is burning.

00:20:58.000 It was miserable.

00:21:01.000 So I saw in the paper an ad back when you opened a newspaper to find a job and it said, help wanted, Texas Senate Media Department, we need a radio reporter.

00:21:13.000 And I was like, well, shit, man.

00:21:15.000 I'm already a performer because I was playing music and stuff.

00:21:19.000 And I already had an interest in comedy.

00:21:21.000 And I was like, and it's radio, so I know how to do production, whatever.

00:21:24.000 So I applied, and I got the job.

00:21:27.000 And the job was the Senate has its own media department. 0.94

00:21:32.000 And I was one of the people they sent to the Senate floor every single day for the legislative hearings.

00:21:40.000 And I had to take notes and do a radio show at the end of every day that surmised whatever happened that day.

00:21:48.000 And then you'd upload it to a server.

00:21:50.000 And then all these local radio stations in Texas would download it and play it as their news break.

00:21:57.000 And that's what I did every day.

00:21:59.000 Oh, my God.

00:22:00.000 And I sucked at it.

00:22:05.000 How long did you do it for?

00:22:06.000 For the whole session, which was like six or eight months or something like that.

00:22:09.000 Oh, my God.

00:22:10.000 What are those people like?

00:22:11.000 Joe?

00:22:13.000 They party a lot, huh?

00:22:14.000 Like motherfuckers.

00:22:16.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:22:17.000 I've been hammered with Texas senators.

00:22:21.000 It's not just Texas.

00:22:23.000 It's kind of all of them.

00:22:24.000 Yeah.

00:22:24.000 But I don't mean drunk.

00:22:26.000 I mean like hammered.

00:22:28.000 These guys would have catfish fries and keg parties.

00:22:31.000 Somebody left cocaine in the White House.

00:22:33.000 Remember?

00:22:34.000 Remember?

00:22:35.000 Somebody left fucking coke.

00:22:35.000 Yeah.

00:22:37.000 They brought Coke to the White House.

00:22:39.000 How did you do that?

00:22:40.000 How'd you get in with Coke?

00:22:42.000 Dude, I knew nothing.

00:22:43.000 Bro, have you seen Hunter Biden describing why crack is so good?

00:22:49.000 It's the greatest crack advertisement of all time.

00:22:52.000 If crack wasn't terrible for you, this guy makes me want to try crack.

00:22:52.000 No.

00:22:57.000 I'm not going to.

00:22:58.000 Don't do it.

00:22:59.000 I'm not giving any advice, but I'm saying this guy, like legitimately, this might be the best advertisement for crack of all time.

00:23:08.000 I'm going to send it to you, Jamie.

00:23:10.000 You're going to watch it.

00:23:12.000 Oh, my God.

00:23:12.000 I'm excited for this.

00:23:13.000 I want to try crack.

00:23:15.000 He's the gift that keeps on giving.

00:23:16.000 Well, he's a lot smarter than people give him credit for.

00:23:19.000 I'll tell you that.

00:23:19.000 Like, he's talking, and one of the things he was talking about was why smoking things are so addictive, why smoking cigarettes are so addictive, and like the psychology behind it.

00:23:28.000 He's not dumb, but he's just a guy who, you know, became an addict.

00:23:34.000 And that fucks your whole life up.

00:23:36.000 It fucks you.

00:23:37.000 You become a subhuman when you're junkied out all the time and you're that dude who's like what he was doing, like making films and shit and driving with a gun.

00:23:46.000 Ah, he was fucking gone.

00:23:48.000 He was out there, dude.

00:23:50.000 Well, when you're an addict with money, it gets real wild.

00:23:53.000 And your dad is one of the most famous people on the planet.

00:23:57.000 It's so crazy.

00:23:57.000 Listen to this.

00:23:59.000 The only difference between crack cocaine and cocaine is sodium hypercarbonate and water and heat, literally.

00:24:05.000 That's it.

00:24:06.000 And those things are pretty much free if you go to like a science store.

00:24:10.000 you can go to your neighborhood convenience store How different is the experience?

00:24:24.000 Oh, it's vastly, vastly different.

00:24:26.000 And for real, I feel really reluctant to kind of have some euphoric discussion.

00:24:33.000 I know you're not asking me to do that, but have some euphoric discussion about crack cocaine.

00:24:38.000 I think this might be kind of the opposite here.

00:24:40.000 Okay, no, it's the exact opposite.

00:24:42.000 I'm saying I don't want to have the experience of some euphoric recall.

00:24:47.000 That's how powerful crack cocaine is.

00:24:50.000 Does crack cocaine make you act any differently?

00:24:52.000 No.

00:24:53.000 Is it safer than alcohol?

00:24:56.000 People think of crack as being dirty.

00:24:56.000 Probably.

00:24:58.000 It's the exact opposite.

00:25:00.000 When you make crack, what you're doing is you're burning off all the impurities so that they bind with the sodium bicarbonate, which makes it smokable.

00:25:08.000 That's all.

00:25:08.000 You know, all of these actors and, you know, people in the past that talked about they had a problem with cocaine and free basing, they were smoking crack.

00:25:18.000 So straw on the stove is the same thing?

00:25:21.000 Not exactly, but close to it.

00:25:23.000 But it's a little bit different.

00:25:25.000 But anyway, my point about it, your point about it, which I think is true, is that there's a thing about crack that is really insidious.

00:25:36.000 And what it is, is that anytime, you know, I think one of the reasons that they believe that smoking cigarettes is so addictive is because it combines three really important things.

00:25:48.000 It's habit forming, there is an oral fixation, and there is a ritual combined with it.

00:25:53.000 And so the idea of hand to mouth is a habit and a fixation that we learn very early, even as children.

00:26:00.000 With a pacifier, with a spoon, with your thumb, to even to breastfeeding. 0.85

00:26:04.000 Okay, so really.

00:26:05.000 So I, and I don't want to get into the psychology of it because I'm no expert, but I do know this: is that you combine with that ignition combustion, and then you combine the ritual.

00:26:15.000 You have your cigarette in the morning, you have a cigarette when you get out of the car, you have your cigarette with your coffee.

00:26:20.000 Crack is that on steroids?

00:26:22.000 It's over and over.

00:26:24.000 There's a ritual to it.

00:26:25.000 There's a ritualized part of it.

00:26:26.000 The combination of all of those addictive behaviors together becomes like really powerful.

00:26:31.000 And the drug in and of itself is a more immediate euphoric sensation connected to it than, in my experience, cocaine alone.

00:26:40.000 Does it require more frequency to maintain the high?

00:26:43.000 Yes.

00:26:44.000 And the capacity to use more than you could otherwise with powdered cocaine, just physically, to be able to ingest it.

00:26:44.000 Yes.

00:26:52.000 Okay.

00:26:53.000 We should give that guy credit.

00:26:55.000 Who's the dude who's interviewing him?

00:26:57.000 Andrew Callahan, Channel 5.

00:26:58.000 Well, he nailed it.

00:26:59.000 He did a great job.

00:27:00.000 That's the best ad for Coke ever.

00:27:02.000 It's the best.

00:27:03.000 Best ad for crack ever.

00:27:05.000 And he could be president.

00:27:06.000 How about that?

00:27:07.000 That kid.

00:27:08.000 How about that?

00:27:10.000 He could.

00:27:11.000 No bullshit.

00:27:12.000 Hunter Biden, after all he'd been through.

00:27:13.000 Look, his dirty laundry's all out there.

00:27:16.000 We all see it.

00:27:17.000 He was a freak.

00:27:18.000 He, speaking of which.

00:27:20.000 He's smarter than his dad when his dad was young.

00:27:24.000 And he was a crackhead.

00:27:25.000 He spoke so eloquently about Crack just then.

00:27:32.000 Ignition was the first one.

00:27:32.000 What?

00:27:34.000 Yeah, Jesus.

00:27:35.000 And I forget the second word, but ignition, I was like, you got my ears here.

00:27:40.000 But I have a friend that smoked crack.

00:27:42.000 Oh, my God.

00:27:43.000 I have a couple.

00:27:44.000 Yeah, and I said, what was it like?

00:27:45.000 Like, describe it to me.

00:27:47.000 And he goes, dude, he goes, the best way I could describe it is, imagine you are as horny as humanly possible.

00:27:57.000 You have a raging heart on.

00:28:00.000 And a woman sits down on your dick for two seconds and then plops off and walks away. 1.00

00:28:06.000 He goes, he goes, that sensation of the thrill of that, he goes, that's the only way I could think to kind of equate like what the charge of it is and how excited you are and how you feel you need to immediately do it again.

00:28:18.000 And when you do it again, do you get the same reaction or is it dumbed down?

00:28:22.000 That I don't remember what he said, but I got the impression that it's kind of like, you know, it's that just on repeat.

00:28:30.000 It's the broken record of that.

00:28:31.000 You can't dump it down and then big crashes.

00:28:33.000 Yeah.

00:28:34.000 I had a buddy in New York that smoked crack and he would have these giant crashes.

00:28:38.000 And one of the things that he would have to do is he would have to go to a store, like a liquor store, and get a 40 ounce of malt liquor.

00:28:47.000 Okay.

00:28:47.000 That was how he would calm himself down from the crack.

00:28:52.000 So like a lot of times I would pick him up.

00:28:55.000 I would even drop him off when he was buying his shit back then.

00:28:59.000 And then when I'd get him, he'd just be like pale like cardboard and had to drink malt liquor.

00:29:07.000 It was like he's about to have a fucking heart attack.

00:29:08.000 But by the way, that's all it takes is 140 ounce?

00:29:12.000 I don't think you'd need to fucking mainline a bottle of Jack Daniels to even out.

00:29:17.000 You would get a couple of 40s.

00:29:19.000 But 140 is really strong.

00:29:22.000 Those are things that are crazy strong.

00:29:24.000 Like malt liquor, okay.

00:29:27.000 It's kind of crazy that malt liquor is only in the hood.

00:29:30.000 Yeah.

00:29:31.000 Kind of crazy.

00:29:32.000 Because there's a lot of beer that tastes like shit.

00:29:32.000 Yeah.

00:29:35.000 You know, it's not like malt liquor is like a fine Sam Adams ale.

00:29:39.000 Yeah.

00:29:40.000 You know, malt liquor's got a, it's, it's just there to get you fucked up, and if it's cold, it's tolerable.

00:29:44.000 Yeah.

00:29:46.000 Why is it way more popular in the hood?

00:29:48.000 Yeah, it's, well, it's usually very, 40s are usually very cheap.

00:29:51.000 It is malt liquor, but it's cheap.

00:29:53.000 We used to buy 40s when I was in college.

00:29:55.000 That's all we drank because it was cheap.

00:29:56.000 Right.

00:29:57.000 We used to drink a 40 called Camo.

00:30:02.000 The label was camouflage, the cheapest looking camouflage design ever.

00:30:06.000 And it said Camo in like the Army stamp.

00:30:08.000 It was $1.50 of $40, and it was 8.9% alcohol.

00:30:14.000 So college, it's perfect.

00:30:15.000 That's so sad.

00:30:16.000 There it is, baby.

00:30:17.000 I remember Old English.

00:30:19.000 I remember Old English.

00:30:21.000 And I remember, God, there was a bunch of them.

00:30:25.000 There was a bunch of those like giant malt liquors that everybody, what were the big name ones?

00:30:30.000 They were always in rap songs.

00:30:32.000 Oh, dude, OE.

00:30:34.000 Yeah, Old English is a big one.

00:30:35.000 8-Ball was...

00:30:39.000 Cold 45.

00:30:40.000 That's right.

00:30:40.000 Yeah.

00:30:41.000 King Cobra.

00:30:42.000 Yeah.

00:30:42.000 Herald.

00:30:43.000 Old English 800 is, that was the classic, the Old English 800.

00:30:46.000 Saint-Ides.

00:30:48.000 Yeah, Old English 800 was 8 Ball.

00:30:49.000 That was the Easy E song, 8 Ball.

00:30:51.000 Right, bro.

00:30:52.000 You drink that stuff, you will get fucked up.

00:30:55.000 Like, that's a weird gray area between liquor and beer.

00:30:55.000 Yeah.

00:31:01.000 You know what I mean?

00:31:02.000 It tastes like shh.

00:31:04.000 It tastes like you took bad beer and poured vodka in it.

00:31:08.000 It's so nasty.

00:31:10.000 But yet totally legal.

00:31:12.000 Yeah.

00:31:13.000 Which I agree with.

00:31:14.000 I agree with.

00:31:15.000 Totally legal.

00:31:16.000 And I mean, but what you were saying, though, about you'll find it in the hood or whatever, it applies the same thing to college kids.

00:31:22.000 Dude, when you don't have a ton of cash and you want to get fucked up and for under $5, you can get two 40s.

00:31:28.000 Oh, yeah, and you're blitzed.

00:31:30.000 You got yourself a night.

00:31:31.000 Yeah.

00:31:32.000 You got yourself a hell of a night.

00:31:33.000 Hell of a night.

00:31:36.000 But wait.

00:31:39.000 I said earlier, the sober thing.

00:31:41.000 What's that?

00:31:42.000 I said, bud, wait.

00:31:43.000 But wait, but wait.

00:31:44.000 I just saw the clip.

00:31:46.000 I remember you telling me in the green room that you stopped drinking.

00:31:48.000 And then I just saw the clip of you saying it to Ron White that you think you're done.

00:31:52.000 I mean, I would most certainly have a glass of wine at some point in time in my life.

00:31:57.000 But as far as regular drinking, drinking every week, I'm definitely done.

00:32:02.000 You feel better.

00:32:03.000 It's crazy.

00:32:04.000 I mean, it's such a simple thing.

00:32:06.000 Chris Williams did it first.

00:32:08.000 He was like the first guy that I know that's like a podcaster that just said it's been his biggest life hack, his change.

00:32:15.000 I was like, really?

00:32:16.000 That big of a deal?

00:32:17.000 And he's like, that big of a deal.

00:32:19.000 He's like, really?

00:32:19.000 It's like a remarkable change in the energy levels that you have.

00:32:24.000 Because you're not fucking poisoning yourself all the time.

00:32:27.000 Yeah.

00:32:28.000 I love it.

00:32:29.000 It's so fun.

00:32:30.000 It's the most fun.

00:32:31.000 It's the most fun.

00:32:32.000 It's so fun.

00:32:33.000 It's so fun to get a little tipsy.

00:32:35.000 That's what Ari. 0.51

00:32:36.000 I remember speaking to Ari.

00:32:37.000 Ari said that to me once because I remember when Ari got into like enjoying drinking. 1.00

00:32:41.000 And I go, because he didn't.

00:32:43.000 He didn't drink for a long time.

00:32:44.000 And I go, you like it now?

00:32:46.000 And he goes, it's the most fun thing.

00:32:47.000 And I was like, yeah, it's pretty fucking fun, man.

00:32:50.000 But I saw a kid in the coffee shop today.

00:32:53.000 I was waiting in line to order, and the kid in front of me turned around.

00:32:57.000 And he's like, hey, man, I love your comedy.

00:33:01.000 He was a nice kid.

00:33:01.000 And he goes, dude, are you sober too now?

00:33:06.000 All you guys are getting sober.

00:33:07.000 I was like, no, no, no.

00:33:10.000 All you guys.

00:33:12.000 They think like we move as a group.

00:33:12.000 That's funny.

00:33:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:15.000 Well, they're all Republicans now.

00:33:20.000 The things I hear people apply to this comedy scene, I'm just like, what the fuck are you saying?

00:33:25.000 It's so dumb.

00:33:26.000 It's ridiculous.

00:33:27.000 It's ridiculous.

00:33:27.000 I read another article the other day about us being an anti-woke comedy scene.

00:33:33.000 Yeah, the thing about UCB coming in.

00:33:35.000 Like, look, why not just do great stuff?

00:33:39.000 Go do great stuff.

00:33:40.000 Don't worry about what we're doing.

00:33:41.000 And we're not anti-woke.

00:33:43.000 There's no anti-woke.

00:33:45.000 There's like a shit ton of left-wing comics at the mothership.

00:33:48.000 It's like, that's not what we're talking about.

00:33:50.000 We're not dwelling on that.

00:33:52.000 We're making fun of things.

00:33:54.000 That article upset me because when I saw the headline, I was excited because I used to do UCB shows in New York.

00:34:02.000 I did them in L.A. Yeah, and I did them in LA too.

00:34:04.000 And I was like, oh, cool.

00:34:05.000 UCB's coming.

00:34:06.000 Like, it'll be more stuff for the scene and stuff.

00:34:09.000 The scenes, it's always better if there's more in the scene.

00:34:11.000 But that's also, you got to realize like someone framing it in a way that's going to get people to read it.

00:34:15.000 Yeah.

00:34:16.000 And then there's people that genuinely do think that way.

00:34:18.000 And it's what a lot of that is, I think, is the walled garden issue and the fact that there's like a walled garden, right?

00:34:26.000 When there's a walled garden, there's a bunch of people that are doing really well together and they're hanging out together and they have fun.

00:34:31.000 And you're not in that group.

00:34:32.000 You start getting mad at that and you find reasons why that's bad because, you know, you want something like that in your life, which we all do.

00:34:38.000 If I see like a whole group of friends like paling around and laughing, I always smile because I know what that's like.

00:34:45.000 I like it.

00:34:46.000 But if you never have that in your life and you see a group of people paling around and having a good time together and hugging each other and just laughing and just having a good old time, you feel like left out.

00:34:56.000 You feel like you feel disrespected almost.

00:35:00.000 This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter.

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00:35:06.000 I don't go to a fast food joint expecting a five-star meal or use instant coffee thinking it'll taste like it came from a French press.

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00:36:13.000 ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. 0.96

00:36:16.000 Yeah.

00:36:16.000 Do you get angry?

00:36:17.000 Do you remember like, I don't know if you ever experienced this, but I'm assuming you have.

00:36:23.000 It's kind of like when you're coming up the ladder initially in show business and you see famous people on TV and whatever, and you got an opinion about everybody that's having too much fun, that's annoying.

00:36:35.000 That guy's music sucks and this and that.

00:36:37.000 Yeah.

00:36:38.000 And then five years later, you find yourself in a room with the guy at some party and you meet him and talk to him and you go, what?

00:36:46.000 He's the nicest.

00:36:47.000 Why what the fuck?

00:36:49.000 I think I like his music now.

00:36:52.000 It just changes.

00:36:54.000 It's so stupid.

00:36:55.000 But it's just a normal thing that people do.

00:36:58.000 We talk shit.

00:36:58.000 And then the problem now is you talk shit and you're just talking shit.

00:37:02.000 Like you and I would be talking the same way if we were in Mitzi's bar, just hanging out.

00:37:07.000 We'd be talking shit.

00:37:08.000 Exactly.

00:37:09.000 And if someone records that and writes it down, it seems so much different than just regular talking shit, which is what everybody does.

00:37:17.000 Well, and that's one of the things I wrote down here that I wanted to say.

00:37:22.000 And I don't say it, I swear to you, I don't say it to blow smoke because it's your place and I get to work there a lot and all that stuff.

00:37:28.000 That's all beautiful.

00:37:29.000 I say this very genuinely, man.

00:37:31.000 When I swung in last night and everybody's at the, you know, hanging after Kill Tony and it's usually a fun time.

00:37:39.000 And Carrie was like, she's like, hey, babe, you want a shot? 0.96

00:37:44.000 And I go, no, no, not tonight.

00:37:46.000 I got to take it easy tonight.

00:37:48.000 And I go, I'm doing Joe's show tomorrow.

00:37:51.000 And dude, like the staff, everybody, the friends, everybody being like, dude, congrats.

00:37:58.000 Fucking special drop today.

00:38:00.000 You're doing Rogan tomorrow.

00:38:01.000 Dude, kill it. 0.53

00:38:02.000 Have fun, dude.

00:38:03.000 We fucking love you.

00:38:04.000 And I stepped back and I was like, this feels like family to me.

00:38:07.000 This is a beautiful thing.

00:38:09.000 Everybody's so supportive.

00:38:10.000 There's no backbiting.

00:38:11.000 There's no shit talking.

00:38:13.000 It's all fucking love.

00:38:14.000 So when I hear people say negative shit about the Austin scene, I'm like, I've found it to be a beautiful experience.

00:38:22.000 Like truly.

00:38:22.000 Like a truly heartwarming experience.

00:38:25.000 It's people that aren't in the scene.

00:38:27.000 That's all it is.

00:38:28.000 It's like people that are looking at it from the outside.

00:38:30.000 And it's not just us that are like this.

00:38:32.000 Like, my thought on all this shit is that my favorite people to hang out with are comedians.

00:38:39.000 And if you make an environment where comedians are really happy and everyone has a lot of gratitude, a lot of gratitude for what they're able to do with their life and that they have such great friends and they get to do sets and have fun and it transfers over to all the other people too.

00:38:58.000 It transfers over to the up-and-comers.

00:39:00.000 It transfers over to the staff.

00:39:02.000 Everybody is having a good time.

00:39:04.000 Everybody has a real positive attitude.

00:39:05.000 That's possible to do.

00:39:07.000 You don't have to start a call.

00:39:11.000 You don't have to, you just, you know, just make a place.

00:39:15.000 And you can do it.

00:39:16.000 It can be done.

00:39:17.000 We did it at the comedy store.

00:39:19.000 The comedy store was pretty fucking positive for the most part before we left.

00:39:23.000 And we do it here too.

00:39:24.000 And some people don't want to hang with comics.

00:39:27.000 They're lone wolves.

00:39:28.000 And that's fine, too, man.

00:39:29.000 That's not what it's about.

00:39:30.000 What it's about is making an environment where it's easiest possible for someone to thrive.

00:39:37.000 So you got a bunch of feedback from a bunch of other comedians.

00:39:40.000 You got a lot of up-and-coming talent that are like really killing it on stage and really trying to be heard and really writing new stuff all the time, performing all the time.

00:39:49.000 It's good for everybody.

00:39:51.000 It's like a big old pressure cooker.

00:39:53.000 It's like a wrestling room at Iowa State.

00:39:55.000 You know, it's like, oh, Jesus Christ.

00:39:57.000 Like, there's a bunch of killers in this fucking room.

00:39:59.000 That's good for everybody.

00:40:00.000 It's good for all of us.

00:40:02.000 I look at it the same way I look at sports.

00:40:05.000 I look at it the way I look at martial arts.

00:40:07.000 Like, what's the best way to get better?

00:40:08.000 You got to surround yourself with really good people.

00:40:10.000 Also, make a gym that has everything the fighters need.

00:40:15.000 Everything they need, like the UFC Performance Center or something like that, or Performance Institute, something like that.

00:40:20.000 Have a place where it has everything the fighters need.

00:40:23.000 So do that for comedy.

00:40:24.000 Just have it completely set up, financially the most beneficial for the comedians.

00:40:31.000 It's like treats people well.

00:40:32.000 Everybody gets, the whole business is designed to break even.

00:40:37.000 That's all it's designed to do.

00:40:39.000 It was awesome, particularly this past weekend, because I did Ari shows with him in Fat Man in the big room.

00:40:47.000 And then I was also doing Little Boy spots in between.

00:40:50.000 And it was so, like what you're talking about, the gym, right?

00:40:52.000 It's like, it was so fucking cool.

00:40:54.000 It's like you go into Fat Man, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:40:59.000 You know what I mean?

00:40:59.000 Then you go into Little Boy.

00:41:01.000 It's a little calmer, a little more quiet.

00:41:02.000 It's like you're in people's living room.

00:41:04.000 Yeah, you sit down on the stool, you talk a little slower.

00:41:07.000 I'm like, this is so good for growth in both areas.

00:41:11.000 Just like a gym.

00:41:11.000 Like you'd set up a gym.

00:41:12.000 It's a CrossFit gym.

00:41:13.000 Yeah.

00:41:14.000 You know, it's like over there you do your weights.

00:41:15.000 Over here you do your cardio.

00:41:17.000 Yeah.

00:41:18.000 It's it's it's great, man.

00:41:19.000 It's fucking great.

00:41:20.000 And the staff is just the staff is so awesome.

00:41:22.000 Like just the love of the staff is really a beautiful thing.

00:41:25.000 They're very cool people.

00:41:26.000 And a lot of them like Carrie and Adam and Jody, they all came from the store.

00:41:30.000 So everybody was unemployed, man.

00:41:33.000 So I scooped them up when they were all unemployed.

00:41:35.000 And I said, let's have fun.

00:41:35.000 Yeah.

00:41:37.000 Let's put something crazy together.

00:41:39.000 Egan is the funniest.

00:41:40.000 He's the best.

00:41:41.000 He makes me laugh so hard.

00:41:43.000 He watched me the other night in Little Boy, and I came off stage, and he's like, good shit, man.

00:41:51.000 That's new shit.

00:41:52.000 And I go, I go, I'm super excited about this Russell Brand joke.

00:41:57.000 And he goes, yeah, yeah.

00:41:59.000 So then the next day he starts texting me and he goes, I couldn't sleep last night.

00:42:03.000 And I go, why?

00:42:03.000 And he goes, I'm just so excited about your new Russell Brand joke.

00:42:11.000 That really is how he thinks, though.

00:42:12.000 He goes, I can't sleep.

00:42:13.000 And I go, wait, you're joking, right?

00:42:14.000 And he goes, yes, I'm joking, you fucking idiot.

00:42:17.000 It was so funny, dude.

00:42:18.000 We were laughing so hard.

00:42:20.000 He's the best, man.

00:42:21.000 Well, he learned it from Norm, you know.

00:42:23.000 Yeah.

00:42:24.000 I mean, yeah.

00:42:25.000 But he really does love it.

00:42:26.000 Like, he really does love when people have new shit.

00:42:29.000 Like, he really was joking around, I'm sure, but he also looks forward to it a lot.

00:42:33.000 He loves, like, the development process.

00:42:36.000 And, you know, he gives really good advice.

00:42:38.000 Like, I've seen him give like really good advice to up-and-coming comics about, like, maybe this is what you need to concentrate on.

00:42:44.000 This is where you have, like, kind of a hole in your game, like how you're setting it up.

00:42:50.000 Maybe you have too many words.

00:42:51.000 Maybe you're this.

00:42:52.000 Maybe you're looking down at the ground.

00:42:52.000 Maybe you're that.

00:42:54.000 You need to look into the audience a little bit.

00:42:56.000 You know, I learned, excuse me, you're always learning, right?

00:42:56.000 Yeah.

00:43:00.000 But I just re-watched the Gary Shandling doc, the HBO one.

00:43:05.000 And he talks at the beginning of that.

00:43:07.000 He talks about when Mitzi Shore said to him, honey, you're not a comic.

00:43:11.000 You're not a comic.

00:43:12.000 You're a writer.

00:43:13.000 And then he was so determined to be a comic.

00:43:15.000 And he was like, and you're seeing his notes from his journals from that time.

00:43:20.000 And he's like, use your face.

00:43:22.000 Your expressions matter at these moments and your energy and the way you look.

00:43:26.000 And I was like, oh my God, man.

00:43:28.000 It's just, and then you watch his stand-up and you go, I can see what he's talking about.

00:43:32.000 You see him go like from this to like he worked at it.

00:43:36.000 And you're like, yeah, it's fucking fascinating.

00:43:38.000 You're not a comic.

00:43:39.000 You're a writer.

00:43:41.000 I can see her saying that.

00:43:43.000 Bro, if she said it to me, I'd quit.

00:43:44.000 I'd be like, fuck.

00:43:46.000 This is over.

00:43:49.000 Who was the guy that used to run the comic strip in New York?

00:43:53.000 Lewis?

00:43:55.000 Not Lewis.

00:43:57.000 The guy that passed away.

00:44:01.000 He had the mustache.

00:44:02.000 Do you remember who I'm talking about?

00:44:04.000 You mean the guy that got murdered?

00:44:05.000 No, no, no, no.

00:44:06.000 No, that's at the stand.

00:44:06.000 No, the guy.

00:44:07.000 Yes, that's Dave.

00:44:08.000 The comic strip.

00:44:10.000 Who passed away at the comic strip?

00:44:12.000 There was that guy that was kind of legendary in New York that ran the comic strip.

00:44:16.000 And when you auditioned, you had to audition for him.

00:44:16.000 He was the booker.

00:44:19.000 And then he would take you into a room and tell you.

00:44:21.000 Lucian.

00:44:22.000 Oh, Lucian.

00:44:24.000 Yes, that's right.

00:44:26.000 I remember I auditioned for him, desperately trying to get in anywhere in New York.

00:44:31.000 Oh, Lucian was brutal.

00:44:33.000 He brought me in the room.

00:44:34.000 He sat me down.

00:44:35.000 He goes, what can I say?

00:44:38.000 I mean, some of the jokes work, but I don't believe you.

00:44:41.000 And then he goes, look at the way you dress.

00:44:44.000 You clearly have no pride in your appearance.

00:44:46.000 And I was like, Jesus Christ.

00:44:49.000 Yeah, he was brutal.

00:44:50.000 I don't remember what he said to me, but it was also not favorable.

00:44:54.000 He would like occasionally give me spots, but I think he thought I was too dirty.

00:44:59.000 But I was 21.

00:44:59.000 Oh, boy.

00:45:00.000 I didn't have anything to say.

00:45:03.000 I had nothing to say.

00:45:04.000 How long were you in New York?

00:45:06.000 You were out of New York way before I came to New York, but how long were you in New York?

00:45:10.000 I left New York when I was 25.

00:45:13.000 Almost 26, I guess.

00:45:14.000 No, I had to be 26.

00:45:16.000 No, I was 26.

00:45:18.000 And then I came to California initially for this Fox show that I did with Jim Brewer.

00:45:23.000 Jim Brewer was the mascot for the other team.

00:45:28.000 It was a baseball team.

00:45:30.000 It was called Hardball.

00:45:31.000 Was it sitcom?

00:45:33.000 Terrible show.

00:45:33.000 Yeah.

00:45:34.000 So I moved out here for that, and then that got canceled.

00:45:34.000 Terrible show.

00:45:37.000 You know what's funny, dude?

00:45:39.000 I was saying this to all the boys out in the outside area here.

00:45:46.000 I got to tell Joe this because I keep forgetting to tell him.

00:45:49.000 Because I always forget, oh, he was on that show.

00:45:52.000 News radio during COVID saved my fucking life.

00:45:58.000 I swear to God.

00:45:59.000 Did you binge it?

00:46:00.000 I was so, I was living in an apartment that only had windows in the bedroom.

00:46:05.000 So I had no light in my apartment.

00:46:07.000 Oh, no.

00:46:08.000 It was a tenement building.

00:46:09.000 The hallway, I was telling the guys outside, I was like, the hallway.

00:46:11.000 You're trapped in a place with no light at all?

00:46:14.000 Yeah.

00:46:15.000 The hallway in this building was, the hallway looked like the alley behind the Wuhan lab.

00:46:19.000 I was like, I was like, I'm going to get COVID from the fucking railing.

00:46:23.000 I was like, it was so gross.

00:46:25.000 Everybody was so freaked out.

00:46:27.000 Nobody knew what was going on in the beginning.

00:46:30.000 And I was like, dude, I'm trapped.

00:46:33.000 I'm alone.

00:46:34.000 This is the worst thing ever.

00:46:35.000 And my buddy Pat Walsh, who I do my, we'll see you on hell podcast with, he said, listen, man, have you seen news radio?

00:46:43.000 And I said, no, I've never seen it.

00:46:45.000 I missed it when it was on.

00:46:46.000 And he goes, look, Amazon's got the whole series right now for 20 bucks.

00:46:50.000 Just buy it and watch it.

00:46:53.000 And I bought it and I watched it.

00:46:55.000 And you, fucking Dave Foley, the best, Phil Hartman.

00:47:01.000 I was just Vicki Lewis.

00:47:06.000 Candy Alexander, Maura Tierney.

00:47:08.000 Yeah.

00:47:08.000 It was a great cast.

00:47:09.000 It just took me because it was so fun.

00:47:12.000 It was so silly.

00:47:14.000 It was classic.

00:47:15.000 It reminded me of a better time because it was a little bit older because it was from the 90s.

00:47:20.000 Yeah, it was almost innocent.

00:47:22.000 Oh, my God.

00:47:23.000 That style of comedy.

00:47:25.000 It's so silly.

00:47:27.000 It's a fun thing to do.

00:47:28.000 And to be able to do it that way, like with those people, they were all so fucking good.

00:47:35.000 I had fucking zero acting experience.

00:47:37.000 I did a couple of episodes of that hardball show.

00:47:39.000 It was terrible.

00:47:40.000 Like I said, I wasn't good on it either.

00:47:43.000 I'm not a good actor.

00:47:45.000 No, you're not.

00:47:46.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:47:47.000 No, I wasn't saying, no, you're not a good actor.

00:47:49.000 I'm saying, no, you're wrong.

00:47:50.000 I want to compliment you.

00:47:52.000 Sitcom multi-cam acting, multi-cam, is very different from single cam.

00:47:58.000 Multicam, in my opinion, is the hardest form of acting.

00:48:02.000 No, dude, you're doing it in front of a crowd.

00:48:04.000 It's like stand-up.

00:48:05.000 It's not that hard.

00:48:06.000 You know, when you've got a good one, when you've got a good punchline, and you can look Andy Dick in the face and say, because it says it on the label, like whatever it is, and you know it's going to get a big laugh, it's just like doing stand-up.

00:48:17.000 Like comics thrive in those multicam sitcoms.

00:48:21.000 That's why they kept giving them to like Roseanne, Seinfeld, Brett Butler. 0.99

00:48:26.000 They wanted Tim Allen, everybody that could do stand-up could do that kind of in front of an audience acting.

00:48:33.000 See, I think you're not giving yourself enough credit.

00:48:38.000 I think I agree with you the idea that if the joke's there, you can land it.

00:48:42.000 But think about it like this with stand-up, right?

00:48:46.000 You know, Woody Allen once said, I used to think it was as easy as just writing a good joke, and if I said it, it was fine.

00:48:51.000 And he goes, then I realized that wasn't the case.

00:48:52.000 I had to write good jokes that were of my personality.

00:48:56.000 And that's why I'm so enamored by guys that are good at multicam sitcom acting because they're writing something for a character you're playing.

00:49:03.000 And it's knowing how to land the joke, but also making it believable.

00:49:09.000 I'm in awe of Kevin James.

00:49:11.000 Oh, he's the man.

00:49:12.000 I'm in awe of him.

00:49:14.000 You watch King of Queens, and I'm like, Jesus Christ, he delivered that line that nine out of 10 other people, it would be in no way organic or believable, that choice he just made.

00:49:26.000 And he does it in a way where you believe that's actually who this person is, and it gets a laugh.

00:49:33.000 Yeah, that was one of the last of the great sitcoms.

00:49:36.000 Right?

00:49:36.000 Yeah.

00:49:37.000 Because like, when did the sitcom officially die?

00:49:40.000 The only one who has a sitcom right now that I know is Miss Pat, and hers is on the BET app. 0.57

00:49:45.000 Yeah.

00:49:46.000 But who else?

00:49:47.000 Who else do you know that has a sitcom?

00:49:50.000 No, but my buddy Pat, I just mentioned, works on that show, actually.

00:49:54.000 Well, Shane has a sitcom, but St. Shane Tires is not really a sitcom.

00:49:59.000 It's a single cam comedy show.

00:50:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:50:02.000 It's not a situation comedy, right?

00:50:04.000 Is it?

00:50:05.000 Well, it is.

00:50:06.000 Is it a sitcom, technically?

00:50:07.000 It is.

00:50:08.000 Yes, but it's a single cam.

00:50:09.000 Like, the multi-cam is the traditional whatever.

00:50:13.000 But I think it died.

00:50:16.000 I was watching, I also watched this later during COVID, Rules of Engagement, which was David Spade's last sitcom.

00:50:25.000 It was him and Patrick Warburton.

00:50:26.000 I don't know if you remember that show.

00:50:28.000 Patrick Warburton was on News Radio a bit, too.

00:50:31.000 He did a couple episodes.

00:50:33.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:34.000 Yeah.

00:50:35.000 I forget how many he did.

00:50:37.000 But that show came out in like, I think it ended in like 2017-ish.

00:50:43.000 That was probably the last one.

00:50:44.000 2013.

00:50:45.000 2013.

00:50:46.000 Wow.

00:50:46.000 So you watch it, and they're getting jokes in where you're like, you can tell two years later they wouldn't have allowed any of these jokes.

00:50:54.000 You know what a show that I used to shit on until I watched it?

00:50:57.000 It was a really good show, and I feel bad that I used to shit on it.

00:51:00.000 Big Bang Theory.

00:51:01.000 Yeah, Big Bang Theory is funny.

00:51:02.000 It's funny, man.

00:51:03.000 It's a good show.

00:51:04.000 It's that kind of a thing.

00:51:05.000 Like, if that's what you want, you want like a fun sitcom.

00:51:09.000 That's a fun sitcom, man.

00:51:11.000 And I had always thought it was crap.

00:51:13.000 I had always heard it was crap.

00:51:14.000 And I had made this judgment on it based on other people's opinions of it.

00:51:18.000 And we were talking earlier about what people hate on something.

00:51:22.000 Big Bang Theory, one of the most hated on sitcoms.

00:51:25.000 You know, it went forever.

00:51:26.000 Went forever.

00:51:27.000 Was the number one show in the world.

00:51:29.000 I worked with Johnny Galecki.

00:51:30.000 He was the fucking man.

00:51:33.000 The coolest dude ever had.

00:51:34.000 Which one's he?

00:51:35.000 He's the kid that was on Roseanne, the guy with the glasses.

00:51:39.000 He was kind of like the main dude outside of Sheldon.

00:51:42.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

00:51:43.000 Oh, right, right, right.

00:51:44.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:51:44.000 The man.

00:51:45.000 I got drunk with him and fell down the stairs of his house.

00:51:51.000 Oh, luckily you didn't need insurance.

00:51:53.000 No.

00:51:55.000 That would have been another story.

00:51:57.000 And then they fucked me over.

00:51:58.000 Bro, speaking about getting fucked over, you want to hear a story that I read today?

00:52:02.000 Jamie, find out if this is true, but I'm pretty sure it is.

00:52:05.000 There was a guy who decided that he was going to leave Texas because of the woke direction that America is going in.

00:52:13.000 And so he decides to go to Russia because there's some guy, some American set up like an expat community in Russia.

00:52:19.000 Okay.

00:52:20.000 And this guy goes in there and then they conscript him for the army and send him to the front line.

00:52:26.000 Father, who moved from family from Russia to escape woke America is sent to the front line.

00:52:32.000 Jesus Christ.

00:52:33.000 Bro.

00:52:37.000 That's a crazy story.

00:52:39.000 That's insane.

00:52:40.000 With his family, with his wife and his daughters.

00:52:42.000 He just moves there, doesn't know anything about the culture, and all of a sudden you're in the army.

00:52:47.000 That's it.

00:52:48.000 Yeah, you're in the army.

00:52:49.000 We need you.

00:52:50.000 And by the way, fed up with woke America, I would think Texas is a place where...

00:52:55.000 Like, if you fucking...

00:52:58.000 You need to go spend a couple months in Silver Lake.

00:53:02.000 You think Texas is too woke?

00:53:04.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:53:06.000 Go hang out in the East Village for a couple weeks.

00:53:08.000 Oh, my God.

00:53:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:10.000 I lived in Silver Lake.

00:53:12.000 It is fascistly woke in Silver Lake.

00:53:16.000 Everybody needs antidepressants.

00:53:16.000 Insufferable.

00:53:18.000 No one has any vitamin D. They're all rotting out from the inside.

00:53:24.000 They're all overwhelmed with anxiety, trying to control everyone's speech and behavior and every fucking flag that you can possibly wave for what you support.

00:53:34.000 What are we on this week?

00:53:35.000 What are we doing this week?

00:53:37.000 Everyone's fucking nuts.

00:53:38.000 I think a city, that was always one of my big gripes with life in LA, or more specifically Hollywood.

00:53:46.000 I think a city where you have to drive to get to the bar, you got a problem because nobody's able to just go out the front door, go down the street, and just have some fun.

00:53:58.000 Everything is, it's got to be planned.

00:54:00.000 It's got to be this, it's got to be that.

00:54:01.000 It's hard to park.

00:54:02.000 So nobody cuts loose.

00:54:02.000 Yeah.

00:54:04.000 Also, you're always in your car.

00:54:05.000 So you're always isolated from other people until you integrate.

00:54:08.000 And then you're back to my isolation.

00:54:09.000 And in New York, you have to integrate.

00:54:11.000 Like, you just, you get on the subway, you walk down the street, everybody's there with everybody.

00:54:16.000 Yep.

00:54:17.000 Dude.

00:54:17.000 There's something to be said for that.

00:54:18.000 There is.

00:54:19.000 I always, when I lived in LA, I said the reason I don't like L.A., I always said the ultimate goal of people in L.A. is isolation.

00:54:25.000 The ultimate goal of people in New York is integration.

00:54:28.000 In L.A., the big dream is what?

00:54:31.000 Yeah, the house way up in these hills.

00:54:34.000 The big old gate with dogs and fucking dudes on sniper posts.

00:54:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:54:39.000 Guys being like, I got an eye scanner on my house.

00:54:42.000 Turrets with machine guns.

00:54:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:54:45.000 And the only people, and then they have these parties in LA where they hire a staff to create the environment of a bar in their home.

00:54:54.000 So now they've created, there's like catering waiters walking around and shit.

00:54:58.000 And you're like, guys, I'm just trying to play beer pong and like, get fucked up. 0.98

00:55:01.000 Like, what is this?

00:55:02.000 Right.

00:55:03.000 But New York, you could be top floor Trump Tower.

00:55:03.000 It's so weird.

00:55:06.000 You walk out the front door, you're going to the same shit newsstand that I'm going to.

00:55:06.000 Guess what?

00:55:11.000 You're getting your coffee from the same fucking place.

00:55:13.000 That's another thing New York still has.

00:55:15.000 Newsstands.

00:55:15.000 Yes.

00:55:16.000 People still buy the newspaper.

00:55:18.000 The actual newspaper.

00:55:18.000 Isn't that what?

00:55:20.000 I wonder what percentage of newspapers get sold in New York City.

00:55:24.000 That's a great question.

00:55:25.000 Because nobody's buying newspapers anymore.

00:55:27.000 Like, what percent, is it possible to find out when New York Times give that information out?

00:55:27.000 No.

00:55:31.000 Like, what percentage of the New York Times, when it's consumed in paper form, is purchased in New York City?

00:55:40.000 It's probably the most out of anywhere, right?

00:55:42.000 Because there's so many old school New Yorkers that are like, this is how you read the news. 0.99

00:55:46.000 That's part of their life.

00:55:47.000 Getting the Times every morning.

00:55:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:55:49.000 Those people are a problem.

00:55:51.000 Those people don't know they're getting fucked.

00:55:53.000 They don't know the internet.

00:55:55.000 They haven't made their way through Reddit yet.

00:55:59.000 Billy Connolly.

00:56:00.000 They haven't seen the Fauci memes.

00:56:02.000 Billy Connolly had this joke after he got sober where he was talking about living in New York.

00:56:07.000 And he goes, every morning, my routine is I walk to the newsstand, I buy a cup of coffee, and the morning edition of the New York Times, my life is a ball of fire.

00:56:22.000 And then the funniest part of the joke is he said there was the same homeless guy every day that he would give money to.

00:56:27.000 And he said, one day the homeless guy goes, you know, you don't have to give me money every day.

00:56:30.000 And he goes, I know I don't, you little fucking cunt. 0.99

00:56:35.000 Jesus.

00:56:37.000 It's better with a Scottish accent, right? 0.99

00:56:39.000 It is.

00:56:40.000 Yeah, it is.

00:56:42.000 There's something to be said for living jammed up with people.

00:56:45.000 But I think ultimately the problem is it's just overstimulation.

00:56:49.000 I don't think it's good for peace of mind.

00:56:53.000 I think it's good for energy.

00:56:54.000 It's one of the things that my friends that love it there, they all talk about like my friend Jeff, who's been there forever.

00:56:59.000 He's like, I love the energy of the city.

00:57:01.000 I'm like, really?

00:57:03.000 Energy.

00:57:04.000 New York's one of those places, man, I loved it.

00:57:07.000 God, I loved it.

00:57:08.000 And I still have a lot of love for the city.

00:57:10.000 It wasn't for me to live in anymore.

00:57:13.000 But I always said, like, New York is one of those cities.

00:57:16.000 Whenever you get there, doesn't matter what year it is, when you get there, that begins your impression of the best version of New York.

00:57:26.000 And eventually, might take five years, might take two decades, might take 30 years, whatever.

00:57:32.000 Eventually, you're going to say this isn't what it used to be anymore.

00:57:35.000 But there's a crop of people coming in right at that time that are saying this is the best place ever.

00:57:40.000 30 years from now, they're going to say they're tired of it or whatever.

00:57:43.000 Listen, buddy, 30 years from now, we're all going to be serving robots.

00:57:46.000 Okay.

00:57:47.000 So all this good old days stuff, we are the last people that are going to talk about the good old days.

00:57:53.000 We're the last ones.

00:57:53.000 Yeah.

00:57:54.000 And I agree with you.

00:57:54.000 Yeah.

00:57:56.000 We'll be serving robots.

00:57:57.000 Not robots are going to be.

00:57:59.000 I remember people used to talk about the good old days of Times Square.

00:58:02.000 And I was always like, you're crazy.

00:58:05.000 Like, you want Times Square to be filled with criminals and peep shows and fucking drug dealers.

00:58:10.000 And it was super sketchy.

00:58:12.000 Super sketchy.

00:58:12.000 Right.

00:58:13.000 And then I saw it the way it is now where it's a giant Applebee's.

00:58:16.000 And I was like, oh, they were right.

00:58:22.000 It's all, you know, it's like, it's one of those things, like, you see where it's going.

00:58:27.000 You see where it's going.

00:58:28.000 You're like, you guys don't understand.

00:58:31.000 This is going in a terrible direction.

00:58:33.000 These are just the first steps of something going in a terrible direction.

00:58:36.000 Like at first, you think it's good because there's no more peep shows, there's no more street hustlers and scary people trying to rob people.

00:58:46.000 But now you have the corporatization of one of the literally the wildest places in New York City was Times Square.

00:58:52.000 It was a wild-ass crazy place.

00:58:54.000 Yeah.

00:58:56.000 What you want to me, the analogy is you want the perfect dive bar.

00:59:00.000 That's what we all want.

00:59:02.000 Feels comfortable, little gritty, but I feel okay.

00:59:06.000 Once in a while, you'll go, let's find a dive bar, and you walk in and there's too many boxes in the corner and nothing works.

00:59:13.000 And you're like, something's not right here.

00:59:15.000 There was one we used to go to at LA.

00:59:17.000 There was a motel upstairs and the bar downstairs only served two things, Modello and Corona.

00:59:23.000 And we were like, there is some sort of pimping operation or something happening in here.

00:59:28.000 There's a lot of places like that that you know are losing money.

00:59:28.000 It's too much.

00:59:31.000 You're like, oh, is it Chinese triads on this?

00:59:33.000 Like, who owns this fucking business?

00:59:35.000 Like, how is this business still open?

00:59:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:59:37.000 But you want perfect dive bar vibes.

00:59:41.000 Yeah.

00:59:42.000 You know, when it's too, New York, Times Square now is like, it's like going to a bar in Epcot Center.

00:59:48.000 And you're like, oh, God, this has no pulse.

00:59:51.000 I didn't want it this clean.

00:59:52.000 Not this clean.

00:59:54.000 When I was a kid, I used to play pool in New York at Chelsea Billiards.

00:59:56.000 It's a 24-hour pool hall that was known throughout the world as a place where the best pool players in New York City would go and gamble.

01:00:04.000 So I'd go there two, three o'clock in the morning, any given night, and you would find some of the best players in the world matching up, playing pool for money.

01:00:13.000 Wow.

01:00:13.000 Ooh, it was amazing.

01:00:14.000 And it was just 24-7.

01:00:16.000 It was open all the time.

01:00:17.000 So there was guys who were street hustlers, who were pool hustlers, who would sleep under the tables.

01:00:21.000 There was a bunch of people there that were really talented pool players, but they were basically homeless.

01:00:25.000 And they would just run around.

01:00:27.000 And my friend that I was telling you about that smoked crack, that's how I knew him.

01:00:31.000 He was basically a homeless crackhead who was a genius pool player.

01:00:35.000 Yeah.

01:00:35.000 Did you ever get to play against any of the big guys?

01:00:39.000 Yeah, I got my ass kicked.

01:00:40.000 I played at a bunch of tournaments.

01:00:41.000 I wasn't nearly good enough back then to play against those guys.

01:00:45.000 I was just learning pool, but I was fascinated by it.

01:00:47.000 But it was just the place, the kind of thing that you'd have in New York City, there was all these different places we could go.

01:00:53.000 We could go to like 10, 15 places that were pool halls in New York City.

01:00:57.000 There were 24 hours.

01:00:59.000 And you would go there, and this one was a complete Chinese-owned place.

01:01:02.000 You would go there, and like some of them you would go to.

01:01:05.000 Not Chelsea, but some of them you would go to.

01:01:07.000 They were off the beaten path.

01:01:09.000 You'd go there.

01:01:10.000 Everyone spoke Chinese.

01:01:11.000 They had Chinese on the wall.

01:01:12.000 They did speak a little bit of English.

01:01:14.000 You could pay them for table time.

01:01:15.000 You go and play.

01:01:15.000 And you watch these dudes gambling there, too.

01:01:20.000 That version of New York, I think, is probably, I would think, extinct.

01:01:24.000 It's not worth enough money.

01:01:26.000 Right.

01:01:26.000 So the thing is, if you could put some Louis Vuitton store in the place where that used to be, that's going to make a lot more money.

01:01:32.000 Of course.

01:01:33.000 CD 24-hour pool hall that charges $20 an hour for table time.

01:01:37.000 That's ridiculous.

01:01:38.000 How you getting rich?

01:01:39.000 How you getting rich off $20 an hour table time.

01:01:41.000 The Louis Vuitton store also doesn't have crackheads sleeping under their purses.

01:01:45.000 But it was so fun, man.

01:01:47.000 It was like to be a young man and to be around all those people was like a very, it was a very interesting experience because although I knew it wasn't healthy for them and I knew it wasn't a smart way to live your life, the fact that they were like dedicated to never doing anything but what they were doing.

01:02:05.000 And they were smart people, man.

01:02:07.000 Yeah, that's, that's, it's, it's fucking weird.

01:02:10.000 Commitment is admirable, but that turns into a zone where you're like, this is, this is dark.

01:02:16.000 This is dark.

01:02:17.000 It was totally dark.

01:02:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:18.000 But they just didn't fit.

01:02:20.000 Okay.

01:02:20.000 They didn't fit.

01:02:21.000 Just like you barely fit in that Senate office.

01:02:24.000 They didn't fit at all.

01:02:26.000 They just couldn't do it.

01:02:27.000 They have ADHD, stepmom, beat them with a belt, whatever the fuck it was.

01:02:32.000 They're not going to fit.

01:02:33.000 They're not going to fit in whatever corporate cookie cutter life.

01:02:38.000 But they had a place in pool halls where they could hang out with other misfits. 0.90

01:02:44.000 That was like a big part of the charm of the place.

01:02:46.000 It was a magnet for misfits. 1.00

01:02:48.000 Yeah.

01:02:49.000 And now they're all DoorDash delivery guys, probably.

01:02:52.000 They're probably dead.

01:02:53.000 A lot of them are dead.

01:02:54.000 A lot of dudes that I used to play with are dead.

01:02:56.000 One of the things that I cherish most about my New York experience was when I first got there, it was how I became friends with Attel.

01:03:05.000 Dave liked to go out back then, you know, and Insomnia or Insomniac was on the air, that show he hosted where he would, you know, go out into the cities.

01:03:14.000 And get bliterated.

01:03:16.000 Yeah.

01:03:16.000 So Dave, I liked to drink and Dave was like, Joe, man, you're a nice kid.

01:03:21.000 Come out with me.

01:03:22.000 And he would take me to these after hours.

01:03:24.000 He knew every fucking after-hours.

01:03:26.000 Of course.

01:03:27.000 Of course.

01:03:28.000 He had a fucking blast.

01:03:29.000 And Attel was classic.

01:03:31.000 He was like, Batman.

01:03:32.000 You'd be doing shots with him for three hours and you'd turn around and he was gone.

01:03:40.000 Didn't want to say goodbye.

01:03:42.000 Fuck this.

01:03:42.000 Yeah.

01:03:43.000 I'm just leaving.

01:03:43.000 Yeah, and you're literally like, I'm on Avenue D, I think.

01:03:46.000 Where the fuck am I?

01:03:47.000 And he didn't have GPS back then either.

01:03:49.000 No GPS, no Uber.

01:03:50.000 No Uber.

01:03:51.000 No Uber.

01:03:52.000 And broke comic, couldn't afford cabs.

01:03:54.000 So trying to figure out how to subway back to Queens, where I live.

01:03:56.000 Oh, my God.

01:03:57.000 At 3 in the morning.

01:03:57.000 Yeah.

01:03:58.000 Oh, my God.

01:03:59.000 3, sometimes 5, 6.

01:04:01.000 Oh, my God.

01:04:02.000 That's the other thing.

01:04:03.000 Bars in New York City open until 4 a.m.

01:04:05.000 Yeah, that's getting lesser and lesser too, though, isn't it?

01:04:08.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:04:09.000 When we opened.

01:04:10.000 But it's legal still.

01:04:12.000 When we opened.

01:04:13.000 Is Joe legal still?

01:04:15.000 Yes, it is.

01:04:15.000 But when we opened Joey Rose's, we got a liquor license because there's a bar component.

01:04:21.000 And when we went in for the liquor, I learned so much about a liquor license when we did that.

01:04:28.000 You probably did too when you opened Mothership.

01:04:30.000 Like, okay, you're allowed to serve till midnight on these nights, but not till two.

01:04:30.000 There's like all these rules.

01:04:35.000 And we'll let you go to two on these nights, but not till four.

01:04:39.000 And if you want to go till four, it has to be in this type of location where this type of activity will never happen, meaning like a DJ that can offend neighbors because of the base or it's got to be situated in a way where people will not be congregating outside because the venue is large enough to hold them.

01:04:58.000 There's all this shit, but like that 4 a.m. shit is going away.

01:05:03.000 I don't think they want it in New York anymore because of, you know, people get fucked up and they're puking outside, and then the residents are getting pissed off.

01:05:11.000 What do you think is going to happen if this, how do you say his name?

01:05:14.000 Mondani guy? 0.99

01:05:15.000 I don't know how to say his name, but I don't know.

01:05:17.000 Is that how you say his name, Jamie?

01:05:19.000 Zoron?

01:05:21.000 Mom Donnie.

01:05:23.000 Say it again.

01:05:24.000 Zoran.

01:05:25.000 Almost like the movie, I think.

01:05:27.000 Say the whole name?

01:05:28.000 Mom Donnie.

01:05:29.000 I'm going to use that as my ringtone from now on.

01:05:33.000 Mom Donnie.

01:05:34.000 You saying that?

01:05:35.000 Mom Donnie.

01:05:36.000 I admittedly know very little about this guy.

01:05:39.000 All I really know is half the people seem excited and half the people seem like it's the worst thing ever.

01:05:44.000 So par for the course, I guess, in politics.

01:05:47.000 Well, young people are very excited.

01:05:49.000 Yeah.

01:05:49.000 Young people think we're going to give communism a try.

01:05:52.000 Yay, let's see what happens.

01:05:53.000 I know he wants to jack up a lot of taxes for businesses.

01:05:57.000 I don't understand business enough to comment on that.

01:06:00.000 I don't know whether that would be beneficial overall for the net good of everybody or not.

01:06:05.000 But I'm always skeptical when they want more money.

01:06:08.000 Does he want to jack up taxes on all businesses or just certain level businesses?

01:06:14.000 I don't know.

01:06:14.000 I think he wants to change the tax code in New York to be the same for businesses as it is for New Jersey, which is a little higher.

01:06:22.000 Believe it or not, New Jersey is a little higher than New York.

01:06:24.000 That city is making it, in my opinion, absolutely impossible for mom-and-pop businesses to continue to function.

01:06:35.000 And it's starting to happen more and more everywhere.

01:06:38.000 That's a shame because that's one of the coolest things about New York City is that you can go into these little mom-and-pop shops.

01:06:45.000 We went to a sandwich shop.

01:06:46.000 I wish I could remember the name of it near where Taylor Swift's house is.

01:06:51.000 Taylor Swift used to own a house there.

01:06:53.000 This is how we know that.

01:06:54.000 There was a bunch of gals. 1.00

01:06:55.000 We parked over in the corner.

01:06:56.000 We parked on the street to eat our sandwiches.

01:06:58.000 And we're like, what the fuck is going on at that house?

01:07:01.000 And there's all these girls would pause in front of the house and they would get pictures taken. 1.00

01:07:05.000 They would, you know, have like their perfect angle and look cute in front of Taylor Swift's house.

01:07:11.000 So these fucking poor people that used to, you know, they bought this house thinking this is a dope house.

01:07:16.000 They might not have even known.

01:07:17.000 Or they thought it would be cool.

01:07:18.000 It used to be Taylor Swift's, but everyone's going to know it's not anymore, so no big deal.

01:07:22.000 No, they take pictures in front of your house every day.

01:07:24.000 That's so funny.

01:07:25.000 The juxtaposition of those images, a bunch of hot chicks posing perfectly, and then a bunch of dudes in a hot car eating hoagies.

01:07:33.000 From like the most classic old school Italian deli that we found in wherever that area is.

01:07:40.000 What?

01:07:41.000 You do remember the part of town at all?

01:07:43.000 I don't.

01:07:44.000 I could find it.

01:07:45.000 If I wanted to go through my phone, I could find it because I sent it to my friend Tommy when we were going down there.

01:07:50.000 I feel like I have to know the place you're talking about.

01:07:53.000 It's probably a place I've been.

01:07:55.000 I feel like I've been to every sandwich place in New York City.

01:07:58.000 Anyway, it was good.

01:07:59.000 Yeah.

01:08:00.000 I'm sure.

01:08:00.000 It was really good.

01:08:02.000 And it's a mom-and-pop spot that's been there since like 19 fucking 60 or some shit.

01:08:02.000 I'm sure.

01:08:08.000 You know, been there forever.

01:08:08.000 Yep.

01:08:10.000 I mean, look at Katz's now, dude.

01:08:14.000 Part of this is tourism.

01:08:15.000 Their sandwiches are $29 fucking dollars.

01:08:17.000 Shut up and pay them. 1.00

01:08:19.000 They've been around since the 1800s.

01:08:20.000 Stop being a bitch. 1.00

01:08:22.000 It's worth it.

01:08:23.000 It's worth 50 bucks.

01:08:25.000 The greatest fucking sandwiches on the known planet.

01:08:28.000 When you go there at 2 o'clock in the morning and you get a fucking pastrami Rubin from Katz Deli at 2 o'clock in the morning with the steak fries.

01:08:36.000 Oh my gosh.

01:08:37.000 It's a nice lifesaver late night.

01:08:39.000 Oh my God.

01:08:40.000 I was a big Carnegie deli guy.

01:08:42.000 Carnegie's great.

01:08:42.000 They're gone.

01:08:43.000 Yeah, they went under.

01:08:44.000 They're gone too.

01:08:44.000 No, Jerry's famous deli in L.A. was amazing.

01:08:48.000 I think they're all gone.

01:08:49.000 I think they closed a bunch of them.

01:08:51.000 They closed the one near where I used to live in Woodland Hills.

01:08:54.000 And then they closed the one in Studio City, I believe, which was the big one.

01:08:58.000 Wait, is Jerry's...

01:09:03.000 The one that had the godmother, the Italian sandwich that everybody loved and everybody goes down near the beach, I think.

01:09:09.000 I don't know that story.

01:09:11.000 You're in the restaurant business, son.

01:09:11.000 I think.

01:09:15.000 You know restaurant rumors and gossip.

01:09:17.000 And you're like, you know the one?

01:09:19.000 The code violation?

01:09:21.000 Like, what?

01:09:23.000 What fucking Google news feed are you on?

01:09:26.000 You're on a different Google news feed.

01:09:28.000 You know restaurants per Taylor Swift.

01:09:30.000 You're like, it's this close to Taylor Swift's house.

01:09:30.000 That's your barometer.

01:09:33.000 That's all I know.

01:09:34.000 I just imagine being those poor people.

01:09:37.000 What is it?

01:09:38.000 Got BC Delhi.

01:09:40.000 Something just happened where they shut down something.

01:09:42.000 That's in L.A.?

01:09:43.000 Yeah.

01:09:45.000 And they got in trouble for something?

01:09:46.000 I don't know if they got in trouble.

01:09:47.000 I want to make sure I'm not speaking out of school here.

01:09:50.000 Yeah, health department.

01:09:51.000 They were shut down for what?

01:09:52.000 I think they were pretty, That's never good.

01:09:56.000 Oh, that's not good.

01:09:58.000 They got hit with rats.

01:09:59.000 God, that's a good thing.

01:10:00.000 See, everybody hates the coyotes in L.A. But if you don't have coyotes, you have rats.

01:10:05.000 You have a lot more rats than you do have.

01:10:07.000 You need them to keep the...

01:10:10.000 Temporary closure.

01:10:11.000 We're going to reopen.

01:10:12.000 Okay.

01:10:12.000 They're going to kill all the rats.

01:10:13.000 I hope they fix it.

01:10:15.000 I'll tell you, that's the thing I never expected in New York.

01:10:18.000 Yeah, it's like you open a food place in New York.

01:10:18.000 Rats?

01:10:20.000 If you open anything in New York, rats is on your checklist of what you have to be ready to deal with.

01:10:26.000 I mean, it's crazy.

01:10:28.000 It's crazy.

01:10:29.000 And the city just acts like, well, that's your problem.

01:10:33.000 It's rats.

01:10:34.000 Why don't you fix the rats thing a little bit?

01:10:36.000 They cannot.

01:10:37.000 They cannot.

01:10:37.000 No.

01:10:38.000 Those rats got bowled.

01:10:39.000 They evolved during COVID, dude.

01:10:41.000 Yeah.

01:10:42.000 They walk right up to you now in New York.

01:10:43.000 They didn't used to do that.

01:10:44.000 Rats used to scurry if they saw anybody.

01:10:47.000 They walk up to you now.

01:10:49.000 Like, it's wild.

01:10:50.000 They evolved.

01:10:52.000 I heard a thing.

01:10:52.000 They probably had to get more aggressive to survive because all the food got cut off because there was no restaurants open.

01:10:56.000 Well, also, too, the places that were shut down, so many shut their doors but left their stock and abandoned ship.

01:11:02.000 So the rats got in there and it was fucking, you know, it was Charlotte's Webb, the fucking, the rat at the picnic, whatever that fucking Templeton.

01:11:11.000 They just had a field day.

01:11:13.000 But somebody told me, a construction guy told me once, he goes, dude, rats are some of the smartest fucking creatures on earth.

01:11:19.000 He goes, scaffolding, when they're scaffolding on a building, when they're doing work on a building, it opens everything up and rats tend to come.

01:11:27.000 He said, sometimes what they'll do is they'll hang dead rats from The scaffolding, and other rats will see the dead rats and go, don't fuck with that place.

01:11:36.000 Isn't that fucking crazy?

01:11:37.000 That's crazy.

01:11:38.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:11:39.000 If they see a dead rat, they run.

01:11:41.000 Well, I would.

01:11:42.000 I've done no research to see if it's true.

01:11:43.000 If I go into a neighborhood on horseback and I see a dude fucking hanging by the front door, I'd be like, oh, this is not a good spot to stop.

01:11:51.000 Let's keep moving.

01:11:52.000 We had to put in the basement when we were sealing off some potential entry points because you really got to seal your basement off.

01:12:03.000 That's a key thing in New York.

01:12:05.000 Is it possible to seal it off from rats?

01:12:07.000 How about this, dude?

01:12:08.000 Ready for this?

01:12:09.000 Yeah.

01:12:09.000 We had to seal off some potential entry points that the previous tenant had left.

01:12:14.000 The exterminator guy we brought in, he goes, here's how you have to do this.

01:12:18.000 You have to mix glass with the concrete.

01:12:21.000 So if a rat does try to chew through it, it will get hurt from the glass and it will not try to do it again.

01:12:27.000 If you just have concrete, they will eat through the fucking concrete.

01:12:30.000 To create a hole.

01:12:32.000 It's insane.

01:12:33.000 And they can get through like a nickel-size hole.

01:12:35.000 Oh, it's insane.

01:12:36.000 Yeah, their bones are flexible.

01:12:38.000 Yeah, yeah, it's insane.

01:12:39.000 They're fascinating creatures and also disgusting.

01:12:42.000 Do you ever watch the Netflix series on them?

01:12:44.000 The documentary, Rats?

01:12:45.000 The thing the guy that died did, supersize me.

01:12:49.000 Right?

01:12:50.000 Is that what his?

01:12:51.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:12:52.000 It is his?

01:12:52.000 Yeah.

01:12:53.000 Yeah.

01:12:53.000 He died, right?

01:12:55.000 Yeah.

01:12:57.000 I didn't know that that was his, but it's really good.

01:13:01.000 It talks about all the different diseases they carry.

01:13:04.000 And then all over the country, like, there's rats everywhere.

01:13:08.000 And one of the things that they cover is the amount of rats that are in New York City, where it's like, it's all an assumption.

01:13:15.000 They don't know.

01:13:15.000 They never weighed them.

01:13:16.000 But they think the biomass of rats is equal to the biomass of people.

01:13:21.000 I don't doubt it.

01:13:22.000 Do you know how crazy that is?

01:13:23.000 It's insane.

01:13:24.000 Do you know how crazy?

01:13:25.000 If that's true, that is so nuts.

01:13:28.000 That's so many rats.

01:13:30.000 Like, you'll never get them out of there.

01:13:31.000 It's fucking insane.

01:13:33.000 There's shots in that movie where they're so on top of each other.

01:13:38.000 It looks like World War Z. Remember when World War Z came out? 0.86

01:13:40.000 And they did the thing in that movie where the zombies literally snowballed?

01:13:44.000 Yeah.

01:13:45.000 It looks like that.

01:13:46.000 Except with rats.

01:13:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:13:47.000 Yeah, with rats.

01:13:48.000 And where are they getting enough food to sustain these insane numbers?

01:13:52.000 Oh, they eat concrete, apparently.

01:13:55.000 Dude, have you ever seen a rat set off a rat trap with a stick?

01:13:59.000 No, this is what I'm talking about, though.

01:14:02.000 Now, here's the thing.

01:14:05.000 There's a camera set up in front of this rat trap.

01:14:07.000 So you don't know if they taught the rat to do it.

01:14:09.000 This is the fact that you could teach a rat how to set off a rat trap so that it could eat the food that's on the trap.

01:14:16.000 Watch how he does it because he does it with a stick, dude.

01:14:18.000 Jesus Christ.

01:14:20.000 Yeah, watch this.

01:14:21.000 So here's the, check this out.

01:14:23.000 So the rat comes in.

01:14:25.000 He's like, oh, I know what this shit is.

01:14:27.000 This is designed to fucking kill me.

01:14:29.000 Oh, I see.

01:14:29.000 Springs.

01:14:30.000 Okay.

01:14:31.000 Cool, cool.

01:14:32.000 Go over here and trip that motherfucker. 1.00

01:14:34.000 So he comes back with a stick, dude.

01:14:37.000 I mean, how crazy is that?

01:14:39.000 Watch when the trap goes off.

01:14:39.000 Now, watch.

01:14:41.000 He doesn't even flinch.

01:14:42.000 He doesn't even flinch.

01:14:44.000 Because he's probably done this a hundred times.

01:14:46.000 When the trap flips, if this is a real video, and I don't know that it's a real video, the only thing that makes me think it's a real video and that's going to sound crazy is that it's from like two years ago.

01:14:55.000 Yeah.

01:14:56.000 Two years ago, you used to be able to tell if something was fake.

01:14:59.000 That's how nuts the world has gotten.

01:14:59.000 Yeah.

01:15:01.000 I know, dude.

01:15:03.000 I'm watching a channel on YouTube.

01:15:03.000 I know.

01:15:08.000 It's called Skywalker Stories.

01:15:10.000 And it's a guy that, with AI, creates these little Star Wars vignettes of things all the fans always wanted to see, but we never got to see.

01:15:20.000 Oh, whoa.

01:15:21.000 They're fucking awesome.

01:15:23.000 They're awesome.

01:15:24.000 But dude, he'll make it with like, it'll be Luke, but like Return of the Jedi Luke.

01:15:28.000 Like Mark Hamill.

01:15:29.000 Young Mark Hamill.

01:15:30.000 This is it.

01:15:30.000 Yeah.

01:15:31.000 Look at this, dude.

01:15:31.000 Whoa, this is all AI?

01:15:33.000 Look at this.

01:15:34.000 Bro.

01:15:36.000 The voices even.

01:15:38.000 Oh, my God, dude.

01:15:41.000 Oh, this is incredible.

01:15:43.000 It's nuts.

01:15:43.000 This is AI?

01:15:45.000 Oh my god, this is We're done.

01:15:45.000 Yeah.

01:15:49.000 This is so good.

01:15:51.000 And he sounds exactly like Mark Cameron.

01:15:54.000 It's crazy, dude.

01:15:54.000 He looks it.

01:15:56.000 It looks better than like the video that you would get back then.

01:16:00.000 Yes.

01:16:02.000 It's so much clearer.

01:16:04.000 Keep it going, dude.

01:16:06.000 Are we going to get in trouble for this?

01:16:07.000 We're just promoting them.

01:16:09.000 Star Wars, Luke Skywalker encounters, Darth Bain.

01:16:13.000 There's a front coraban.

01:16:15.000 Check his hand.

01:16:16.000 Watch his hand.

01:16:17.000 Five fingers there.

01:16:18.000 Right?

01:16:19.000 Six fingers there.

01:16:20.000 Five fingers there.

01:16:21.000 Six fingers there.

01:16:22.000 Six fingers?

01:16:23.000 Yeah.

01:16:24.000 Pause it.

01:16:26.000 Five?

01:16:26.000 Six.

01:16:27.000 Where's the six?

01:16:28.000 That looks like five.

01:16:29.000 It just switched.

01:16:29.000 One, two.

01:16:30.000 Oh.

01:16:31.000 When did he have six?

01:16:33.000 One, two, three, four.

01:16:34.000 Rip blends.

01:16:34.000 See that index finger?

01:16:36.000 Oh, no.

01:16:37.000 Jamie, you're like a wizard.

01:16:39.000 I'm catching this shit, dog.

01:16:41.000 How are you catching that?

01:16:42.000 Peace is a lie.

01:16:43.000 There is only passion.

01:16:44.000 Through passion, I gain strength.

01:16:48.000 Alright, this is a little weak.

01:16:49.000 I would have got a better voice actor for that.

01:16:53.000 This kid's working in a garage.

01:16:55.000 Bro, you know who has the fucking creepiest...

01:17:03.000 The newest Nosferradu?

01:17:06.000 Yeah, Robert Eggers.

01:17:08.000 Yeah, the dude who played Pennywise.

01:17:11.000 Yeah, Bill Skarsgård.

01:17:13.000 He's fucking amazing in this movie.

01:17:16.000 He's a great actor.

01:17:17.000 It's the best vampire movie of all time.

01:17:19.000 He's a great actor.

01:17:20.000 He's a great actor.

01:17:21.000 That movie is creepy.

01:17:23.000 I liked it.

01:17:24.000 I thought it was beautifully shot.

01:17:25.000 My favorite will always be Coppola, Francis, Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula.

01:17:29.000 That was a great one.

01:17:30.000 The one with Hopkins and Gary Oldman.

01:17:32.000 Gary Oldman was incredible.

01:17:35.000 Donald Reeves, Winona Ryder.

01:17:37.000 Yeah.

01:17:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:17:38.000 That was a classic.

01:17:39.000 Oldman still scares me in that movie.

01:17:40.000 Oh, he was amazing.

01:17:41.000 But it's interesting because that broke ground, right?

01:17:45.000 Because that was the first mind-bending of the vampire movies.

01:17:49.000 Like, he was a mind-bender.

01:17:51.000 Like, he would transform states in front of you.

01:17:54.000 He was gone.

01:17:54.000 He was there.

01:17:55.000 He was an old man all of a sudden. 1.00

01:17:57.000 It was like a mind-bending, almost like psychedelic vampire.

01:18:01.000 Can I tell you the two things that took me out of Nasferatu?

01:18:04.000 Yeah, please do.

01:18:04.000 I don't want to ruin it for you.

01:18:06.000 No.

01:18:06.000 You stood up with the dick?

01:18:07.000 No, that was fine.

01:18:10.000 I said the constants.

01:18:11.000 He said the pros.

01:18:14.000 No.

01:18:15.000 I didn't like that he had a mustache.

01:18:17.000 Oh, I love that.

01:18:18.000 That bothered me that Dracula is trimming his mustache every morning.

01:18:21.000 I love it.

01:18:22.000 I loved it.

01:18:23.000 And this is not Robert Edgar's fault.

01:18:25.000 This is the original story.

01:18:26.000 But it finally dawned on me in every Dracula story.

01:18:29.000 It's always based on him trying to buy real estate to go to London.

01:18:33.000 And I'm like, why does he need a house?

01:18:35.000 I don't understand.

01:18:36.000 He's Dracula.

01:18:37.000 Because he's got to have a place to put his coffin at night, dog.

01:18:40.000 100%.

01:18:40.000 I guess so.

01:18:41.000 It seems like he could just go run the fucking city if he's.

01:18:44.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:18:45.000 There's another one that's really good.

01:18:47.000 Underrated.

01:18:48.000 Last Voyage of the Demeter.

01:18:50.000 I saw that.

01:18:51.000 I liked it.

01:18:52.000 Yeah.

01:18:52.000 I liked it.

01:18:53.000 Underrated.

01:18:54.000 A little obvious with the CGI, right?

01:18:56.000 A little like that doesn't look real.

01:18:56.000 Yes.

01:18:58.000 Like, they weren't quite where they're at now.

01:18:59.000 Yeah.

01:19:00.000 Which is pretty crazy because that was just a few years ago.

01:19:03.000 So interesting movie trivia.

01:19:05.000 Last Voyage was originally supposed to be an actual prequel to the Coppola movie.

01:19:14.000 It was actually supposed to, because remember in the Coppola movie, they showed the sequence where there's the blood hitting the sails and all that stuff?

01:19:20.000 That was actually supposed to be a legit connected prequel.

01:19:24.000 Which, God damn, could you imagine if that movie was fucking Gary Oldman?

01:19:28.000 Oh, my God.

01:19:29.000 Dracula.

01:19:30.000 Gary Oldman and Coppola directing it.

01:19:33.000 That would be insane.

01:19:33.000 Oh, my God.

01:19:35.000 Gary Oldman was such a good Dracula.

01:19:38.000 Oh, my God.

01:19:39.000 Woo! 0.99

01:19:40.000 He believed.

01:19:41.000 Remember when he accidentally, Keanu Rees accidentally gets a cut and he licks the fucking blade?

01:19:41.000 Yeah.

01:19:49.000 Yeah.

01:19:49.000 This is the creepiest fucking...

01:19:49.000 Yeah.

01:19:56.000 He's like, he doesn't just lick it.

01:19:58.000 He's like trembling while he, like, it's like, It's like Hunter Biden with crack.

01:20:05.000 Yeah.

01:20:06.000 That's what it was.

01:20:08.000 Pull it up, Jim.

01:20:08.000 Like, pull it up.

01:20:10.000 Can we pull up the video of Dracula talking about why blood is so good?

01:20:14.000 When he accidentally cuts Keanu Reeves, he's like shaving him or something, right?

01:20:19.000 Yeah, Keanu's shaving.

01:20:20.000 Oh, yeah, he comes by him and starts shaving him.

01:20:22.000 He's shaving Keanu, which is even creepier.

01:20:25.000 You got Dracula and a straight-edge razor.

01:20:28.000 Oh, my God.

01:20:29.000 That's what it was, right?

01:20:31.000 Yeah.

01:20:31.000 Look at that cast.

01:20:32.000 30th May, Castle of Dracula.

01:20:34.000 30th of May.

01:20:35.000 Yes.

01:20:47.000 Yeah, this is not what I want to hear.

01:20:48.000 Scooch up a little bit.

01:20:50.000 Here it goes.

01:20:52.000 It's more dangerous than you see.

01:20:58.000 Great.

01:21:01.000 A foul bobble of men's vanity.

01:21:05.000 Perhaps you should grow dear to me.

01:21:10.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

01:21:18.000 Bro.

01:21:20.000 Hunter Biden and crack right there.

01:21:22.000 Oh, my God.

01:21:22.000 No, no, no, no.

01:21:24.000 No, no.

01:21:25.000 Okay.

01:21:25.000 That's good.

01:21:26.000 That's good.

01:21:27.000 Scarsguard is better.

01:21:29.000 The Scarsguard Nosferato is scarier.

01:21:32.000 It's creepier.

01:21:34.000 It's more supernatural.

01:21:36.000 It's different.

01:21:38.000 The problem was the makeup back then looked goofy.

01:21:41.000 Oldman, when he turns into the bat.

01:21:43.000 Oh, it's wild, dude.

01:21:44.000 And he looks like the bat monster. 0.98

01:21:45.000 See if you can get to...

01:21:50.000 Trailer, I don't think he is.

01:21:51.000 No, they don't.

01:21:52.000 They like show him maybe in shadow.

01:21:54.000 I don't think they really show him.

01:21:55.000 Have it.

01:21:56.000 Nose Ferratu pops out of the coffin.

01:22:00.000 That's what he looked like.

01:22:01.000 You can see that image.

01:22:02.000 That's what he's dying at the end.

01:22:03.000 Spoiler alert.

01:22:04.000 Bang.

01:22:05.000 Spoiler alert.

01:22:06.000 Get to that picture in the middle where you see the bluish one.

01:22:09.000 Yeah, like that one.

01:22:10.000 That's what he looked like.

01:22:12.000 Bro.

01:22:13.000 It was way creepier.

01:22:14.000 It's a great look.

01:22:16.000 It was way creepier.

01:22:17.000 I don't want the mustache.

01:22:18.000 The mustache makes it.

01:22:21.000 It makes it.

01:22:22.000 It was amazing.

01:22:23.000 And it was creepy in that movie.

01:22:25.000 Like, he tricked him into signing over his wife in a contract because he did it in my native tongue.

01:22:30.000 Yeah.

01:22:31.000 It's like the way he's talking.

01:22:32.000 Here it is.

01:22:33.000 Here, give me some volume on this.

01:22:37.000 Oh, it doesn't pop up.

01:22:40.000 Into you.

01:22:41.000 I don't even know what's playing right now.

01:22:43.000 He didn't pop up?

01:22:44.000 No, I cut it off.

01:22:45.000 I think it's too new to still to be on YouTube.

01:22:47.000 He'd pop up.

01:22:47.000 You'd get to see his dick.

01:22:49.000 They're also.

01:22:50.000 He's fully naked vampire.

01:22:53.000 That was a terrifying vampire.

01:22:55.000 That was the best vampire movie I think ever.

01:22:57.000 And I will say, too, that's the first, and I've seen a lot of vampire movies.

01:23:01.000 Me too.

01:23:02.000 That's the first one I've ever seen where he sleeps naked.

01:23:07.000 And you're like, well, of course he'd sleep naked.

01:23:09.000 They always have him sleeping in his cape and everything.

01:23:10.000 When you got a hog like Dracula does, you want to let that motherfucking hair out. 1.00

01:23:16.000 He had a hog on him.

01:23:18.000 Do you like horror movies a lot?

01:23:20.000 Love them.

01:23:20.000 I love horror movies.

01:23:21.000 I love a good one.

01:23:22.000 A really good one.

01:23:25.000 I'm really looking forward to the new Frankenstein.

01:23:29.000 I'm excited about that.

01:23:30.000 That's going to be great.

01:23:31.000 I'm excited about that.

01:23:32.000 And Edgar's next movie.

01:23:33.000 Killing Murphy as Dr. Frankenstein is going to be fucking insane.

01:23:37.000 I'm excited about Frankenstein and his next movie is called Werewolf, and it's a werewolf movie.

01:23:44.000 Yes.

01:23:45.000 Yeah, Edgar's, yes.

01:23:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:23:48.000 Yeah, that's what we need.

01:23:49.000 We need a real good werewolf movie.

01:23:51.000 We haven't had one since an American Werewolf in London.

01:23:53.000 Yeah, those are tough to come by, man.

01:23:56.000 Wolfman was okay.

01:23:58.000 The Benicio De Toro one.

01:23:59.000 I like that one.

01:24:00.000 You know what the cool thing was when he changed in front of all those doctors?

01:24:05.000 They got him strapped in.

01:24:07.000 They said, this man is an insane person.

01:24:09.000 He believes he's going to become a wolf.

01:24:11.000 Yeah, and they're all laughing at him.

01:24:11.000 Yeah.

01:24:13.000 And then Del Tora screams, I will kill all of you.

01:24:16.000 Yeah, and then he just starts popping.

01:24:19.000 That was also Rick Baker, same guy who did the special effects for American Werewolf in London.

01:24:24.000 He did it for that too.

01:24:25.000 And Thriller.

01:24:26.000 And Star Wars.

01:24:27.000 And Thriller.

01:24:28.000 Yeah, and Thriller.

01:24:30.000 I like the Wolfman.

01:24:32.000 I like the howling.

01:24:33.000 We're grown men going, I like the Wolfman.

01:24:36.000 He's kind of my favorite.

01:24:38.000 The howling was good.

01:24:40.000 Grown men talking about their favorite werewolf movies.

01:24:43.000 I didn't see that new Wolfman.

01:24:45.000 Some people told me it was good.

01:24:46.000 Some people told me it sucked.

01:24:48.000 It sucked.

01:24:49.000 Sucked.

01:24:50.000 Dick.

01:24:51.000 It sucked.

01:24:51.000 Damn.

01:24:54.000 I have a horror movie podcast and we reviewed it.

01:24:56.000 Do you really?

01:24:57.000 You have a horror movie podcast?

01:24:58.000 Yeah, it's called Shit.

01:24:59.000 It's called We'll See You in Hell.

01:25:01.000 Yeah.

01:25:02.000 Thank you, man.

01:25:02.000 Great name.

01:25:04.000 But yeah, me and my buddy Pat that I was talking about do it together.

01:25:06.000 And we've been doing it for a long time.

01:25:08.000 But I have a massive horror movie collection.

01:25:11.000 All right, let me ask you this.

01:25:12.000 What your opinion is.

01:25:12.000 Yeah.

01:25:13.000 What do you think is the scariest movie of all time?

01:25:17.000 I will tell you, for me, it remains to be The Exorcist.

01:25:21.000 And I appreciate how scary I find it that I will infrequently watch it because I never want that to wear off.

01:25:27.000 Because I've seen so many horror movies at this point.

01:25:30.000 It's very hard to find something where I'm actually freaked.

01:25:33.000 And The Exorcist, probably a lot to do with Catholic upbringing and a lot of the, and then that was a movie when I was growing up where people would say, you know, the devil could actually reach you if you watch that movie.

01:25:44.000 You know, it had so much great lure around it.

01:25:47.000 All of that just sits with me subconsciously when I watch it.

01:25:52.000 I think it is the scariest movie I've ever seen.

01:25:55.000 And follows, by the way, in my opinion, what is a necessary component to make a great horror movie?

01:26:04.000 It has to be inescapable.

01:26:07.000 So, in other words, what I'm saying is, is like the horror must be inescapable.

01:26:12.000 Nightmare in Elm Street.

01:26:14.000 You fall asleep, Freddie comes.

01:26:16.000 You're going to have to fall asleep?

01:26:19.000 Friday the 13th, you're a bunch of kids.

01:26:21.000 You're stuck at the camp.

01:26:22.000 There's no cell phones.

01:26:23.000 Nobody's got a car.

01:26:24.000 You're stuck.

01:26:26.000 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

01:26:27.000 Oh, guess what?

01:26:28.000 All the people you're running from run the fucking town around you.

01:26:32.000 The Exorcist, it's your daughter. 0.72

01:26:35.000 She's upstairs in your home. 0.57

01:26:37.000 You cannot leave.

01:26:39.000 Once you set the parameters that you cannot leave the horror, then all bets are off.

01:26:45.000 But there's too many horror movies where you're like, well, just fucking leave.

01:26:53.000 You should be a consultant.

01:26:53.000 Get out.

01:26:56.000 Get a look at the script and go, gosh, guys, guys, guys, guys.

01:26:58.000 He could just leave.

01:26:59.000 Why doesn't he just leave?

01:27:00.000 Why is he so invested in staying in his town?

01:27:02.000 Well, he grew up here.

01:27:04.000 He wants to make it right.

01:27:05.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:27:06.000 This doesn't make any sense.

01:27:07.000 There's demons in that town.

01:27:08.000 He would get in his fucking car and he would drive to another state.

01:27:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:11.000 He would tell the police or something.

01:27:12.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:13.000 It's just, it's, it's, it's amity.

01:27:15.000 And Amityville is a classic horror movie, but the whole, Eddie Murphy had the joke about it in the 80s.

01:27:20.000 He's like, just get the fuck out of the house.

01:27:21.000 Like, just leave the fucking house.

01:27:23.000 I don't understand.

01:27:25.000 The Amityville one, there's a bunch of them that are weird because they're based on like the conjuring.

01:27:30.000 It's based at least a little bit on real stories.

01:27:33.000 Yeah.

01:27:33.000 And everybody wants to dismiss haunted houses.

01:27:37.000 I do too.

01:27:37.000 Me too.

01:27:38.000 I think people are kooky.

01:27:39.000 They make things up.

01:27:40.000 They definitely do.

01:27:41.000 But also, there's too many stories about places being haunted.

01:27:44.000 And just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not true.

01:27:47.000 Yeah.

01:27:47.000 Like imagine if by for whatever reason, maybe some horrible thing happens in this house and it opens up a portal to another place.

01:27:56.000 Yeah.

01:27:56.000 And then spirits from that other place can travel through to that spot because you've done such a, someone's done such a terrible thing in that house, like some axe murderer in that house.

01:28:06.000 And then for whatever, the amount of pain and suffering that took place in that spot opened up a portal to another place.

01:28:13.000 Yeah.

01:28:13.000 And things come through there.

01:28:15.000 Look, I want it to be true.

01:28:17.000 Do you ever see Event Horizon?

01:28:18.000 I love Event Horizon.

01:28:18.000 Yeah.

01:28:20.000 I love Event Horizon.

01:28:21.000 Opening up portals.

01:28:22.000 Yes.

01:28:23.000 I fucking love that movie.

01:28:25.000 And it's another one that people dismiss.

01:28:27.000 And I'm like, no, it's good.

01:28:29.000 Again, you're trapped.

01:28:30.000 Yeah, you're trapped.

01:28:31.000 They go through that goofy wormhole in the spaceship.

01:28:33.000 They're stuck.

01:28:34.000 You can't get away from it.

01:28:35.000 It's Hellraiser.

01:28:36.000 It's Hellraiser in space.

01:28:37.000 Everyone's possessed.

01:28:38.000 Yes.

01:28:39.000 It's good.

01:28:39.000 Yeah.

01:28:40.000 It's also, it opens up like if hell was a real place, like that's, you get, you can do so much when you're doing space stuff.

01:28:49.000 Like you're fucking creating wormholes.

01:28:51.000 Like, okay, let's imagine hell's a real place.

01:28:53.000 And let's imagine you open up a doorway to it accidentally and bring somebody onto your spaceship.

01:28:53.000 Yeah.

01:28:58.000 Yeah.

01:28:59.000 Yeah.

01:28:59.000 Let's go.

01:29:02.000 When you do something with space with aliens, I remember reading that when I was young, when I wanted to be a comic book illustrator.

01:29:09.000 And one of the things that I was reading in this book of how it illustrates things, like the aliens are the ultimate thing that you can draw because no one can tell you what it looks like.

01:29:20.000 It could just be anything.

01:29:21.000 You can make it up.

01:29:23.000 And that's why I get so mad that every alien movie that comes out, it's like, I saw one recently.

01:29:30.000 I can't remember the name of it.

01:29:31.000 We watched it for the show.

01:29:33.000 I don't remember.

01:29:34.000 But I remember on the show going, guys, we're doing the big head with the big black eyes again.

01:29:40.000 You can draw, do anything.

01:29:43.000 Yeah, you can do anything.

01:29:44.000 If I hear one more alien in a movie with the fucking predator rattle, the enough, guys.

01:29:44.000 Anything.

01:29:51.000 Do something new.

01:29:52.000 Like, sky's the limit.

01:29:55.000 The thing is, alien number one.

01:29:57.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:58.000 Ridley Scotts was so good.

01:30:01.000 It was so good that no one even talks about that it's a female lead.

01:30:01.000 It's great.

01:30:09.000 No one even talks about it.

01:30:11.000 It's not just a female lead.

01:30:12.000 She's the spoiler alert.

01:30:13.000 She's the fucking hero of the whole movie.

01:30:16.000 It's fucking awesome.

01:30:17.000 And kills it.

01:30:18.000 But she's so good and the movie's so good that no one even brings that up.

01:30:21.000 No.

01:30:21.000 It's not even a second thought.

01:30:23.000 It's just like that movie scared the fuck out of me.

01:30:27.000 And that movie came out in 1979.

01:30:30.000 Yeah.

01:30:31.000 79.

01:30:32.000 Yeah.

01:30:32.000 And it was just the right amount of seeing the alien.

01:30:35.000 You didn't see it all the time.

01:30:37.000 It was sneaking around.

01:30:40.000 It kept growing and getting bigger.

01:30:42.000 Every time you turned around, it was way bigger than it was before.

01:30:44.000 Yeah.

01:30:45.000 Fuck.

01:30:46.000 Best tagline ever on a movie.

01:30:47.000 In space, no one can hear you scream.

01:30:49.000 Like, what a great tagline.

01:30:51.000 And it had the robot that betrayed everybody.

01:30:53.000 Yes.

01:30:54.000 Yeah.

01:30:56.000 Ian Holm.

01:30:57.000 And it had these people that they were going to sacrifice because they wanted this biological weapon.

01:31:01.000 And that's why they went there in the first place.

01:31:02.000 You're like, oh, people wouldn't do that.

01:31:05.000 And now you go, oh, yeah, they would.

01:31:06.000 Yeah.

01:31:07.000 And then, of course, John Hurt alien, the chest burst scene.

01:31:12.000 Where it was just like, what the fuck is about to happen here?

01:31:12.000 Yeah.

01:31:16.000 What the fuck, dude?

01:31:17.000 When it comes plopping out of his chest and runs on the floor, like, what the fuck, dude?

01:31:23.000 original trailer.

01:31:23.000 Ugh.

01:31:35.000 It's the trailer is so scary.

01:31:37.000 It's weird sounds.

01:31:51.000 Yeah.

01:31:52.000 And you don't even get a peep at the fucking alien.

01:32:11.000 Jeez.

01:32:12.000 Holy shit.

01:32:15.000 There should be an Oscar for trailers.

01:32:17.000 You know another really good one that doesn't get a lot of love?

01:32:20.000 Sputnik.

01:32:22.000 I never saw Sputnik.

01:32:23.000 I don't think I know what's Sputnik.

01:32:24.000 I don't even know what it is.

01:32:25.000 Sputnik is a Russian sci-fi alien movie.

01:32:29.000 Okay.

01:32:30.000 From like, How many years ago?

01:32:34.000 The trailers are here five years ago.

01:32:35.000 Five years ago.

01:32:36.000 It's fucking good, dude.

01:32:38.000 It's all in subtitles.

01:32:40.000 So IFC Midnight, they've done, IFC Midnight does some cool shit.

01:32:43.000 It's a spoiler alert.

01:32:45.000 It's a dude who goes up in a Russian spaceship and has an encounter and comes back home and he's got this parasite in his body.

01:32:54.000 And this parasite comes out.

01:32:57.000 Okay.

01:32:57.000 It's fucking wild, dude.

01:33:00.000 It's wild.

01:33:01.000 It's really good.

01:33:02.000 It lives inside of him and it keeps him alive.

01:33:05.000 And then it comes out when he's sleeping.

01:33:08.000 It comes out of his mouth.

01:33:09.000 It's like the way it forms.

01:33:11.000 It's really fucking creepy.

01:33:12.000 And they're scary as shit, man.

01:33:14.000 And I was going to say, it's like a genuine monster comes out of him.

01:33:17.000 Oh, yeah.

01:33:18.000 It's a fucking scary ass movie, man.

01:33:19.000 I'll check this out.

01:33:20.000 I know I'm making it sound goofy, but it's good, dude.

01:33:23.000 It's good.

01:33:24.000 It sounds fucking awesome.

01:33:25.000 All right.

01:33:26.000 I'll check it out.

01:33:27.000 Look, there's like legitimate parasites on Earth that go so far as to, like, here's one.

01:33:36.000 You know what the cordyceps mushrooms parasites where they take over spiders' bodies and ants' bodies, and then they explode in the air so that the spores come out of their body in like a big explosion.

01:33:50.000 So they infect everyone around them, and then all of them around them become like these fucking, they get paralyzed by the mushroom and get eaten by it, and then they explode.

01:33:59.000 That's in Last of Us.

01:34:02.000 I hate to ask you this.

01:34:05.000 Oh, my God.

01:34:06.000 I'm bursting over here.

01:34:07.000 Hold on a second.

01:34:08.000 I'll be right back.

01:34:08.000 I'll go too.

01:34:09.000 We'll be right back, folks.

01:34:10.000 It's like, wow.

01:34:12.000 Guys, fucking wild kid.

01:34:14.000 There's still some people that remember those days that live in Aspen.

01:34:17.000 If you find them, they'll talk to you about it.

01:34:19.000 Like what it was like when he was living up there.

01:34:19.000 Yeah.

01:34:22.000 They said he would go down to the bars and get blasted every night.

01:34:28.000 There's a funny song that got made from me and Greg Fitzsimmons.

01:34:32.000 We read what Hunter S. Thompson did during a day.

01:34:37.000 Like a journalist hung out with him and recorded his day.

01:34:42.000 So it's like, it starts when he wakes up to when he starts doing cocaine.

01:34:47.000 He starts seriously doing cocaine.

01:34:48.000 And this guy, Beardy Man, he put it to a beat.

01:34:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:52.000 Have you ever heard it?

01:34:53.000 Like Sam and the hot dog with champagne.

01:34:58.000 Do you think with a guy like Hunter Thompson?

01:35:02.000 Because I honestly don't know.

01:35:03.000 But do you think he's the one guy where that being around that would still be would have still been fun and exciting and crazy and weird?

01:35:15.000 Or do you think like most guys, you'd be like, dude, you think it's going to be fun, but it's not.

01:35:19.000 It's kind of disturbing.

01:35:22.000 Depends on who you are, right?

01:35:24.000 It's like, I bet there's a lot of similar stories about Ari.

01:35:29.000 You know?

01:35:31.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:35:32.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:35:34.000 That's a lot of similar stories.

01:35:36.000 You know, you talked to Johnny Depp about it.

01:35:37.000 Johnny Depp loved him.

01:35:39.000 Johnny loved him.

01:35:39.000 Yeah.

01:35:40.000 And him and Johnny were really close because he played Johnny in that movie and they became really good friends.

01:35:44.000 Yeah.

01:35:47.000 John Kusak had a good story that he told about going up to that compound or whatever you call it.

01:35:54.000 And he said he went up, he was so excited that he finally got the invite and he went up for like a long weekend.

01:36:01.000 Got there on like a Wednesday and he said then like Wednesday happens, Thursday happens.

01:36:05.000 And he's like, Hunter, you know, man, thanks for having me, but what the fuck are all these stories I keep hearing?

01:36:12.000 And then he said, Hunter Thompson said, don't worry, my boy, this weekend there will be games.

01:36:18.000 And then he said, Friday hit, and it was just like the rocket went off.

01:36:22.000 And that was, you know.

01:36:23.000 So he was probably writing.

01:36:24.000 He was, yeah.

01:36:25.000 It was probably like, we're drinking it all, but who cares?

01:36:27.000 And then, you know, you can't do cocaine every night, right?

01:36:30.000 I wouldn't think so.

01:36:31.000 You could.

01:36:32.000 I mean.

01:36:32.000 Well, we were just, just as we were leaving, Jamie told us that Ozzie died.

01:36:37.000 Nah, yeah.

01:36:38.000 Yeah, just as we were leaving.

01:36:40.000 Speaking of which, speaking of the guy who he burned the candles at both ends, lad.

01:36:45.000 Dude, he just performed.

01:36:48.000 Yeah.

01:36:49.000 It always happens like this.

01:36:51.000 It's like he did.

01:36:53.000 There cannot not be a correlation between hanging up the job and death.

01:37:00.000 He did the final Black Sabbath show.

01:37:02.000 This is it.

01:37:04.000 All four original guys.

01:37:06.000 He died two weeks later?

01:37:10.000 That's fucking insane, man.

01:37:12.000 That's insane.

01:37:14.000 Weren't they supposed to do one more show?

01:37:16.000 It was like one last OzFest?

01:37:18.000 I don't know.

01:37:19.000 I think people just decide it's enough.

01:37:22.000 And he was struggling for a long time.

01:37:24.000 So if you get a debilitating disease like Parkinson's and it just slowly robs you of your ability to move and your wit and everything, it just slowly takes it all away from you.

01:37:36.000 He said, too, if I could borrow your lighter.

01:37:38.000 Thank you.

01:37:39.000 He said too, he did a recent interview where he said, you know, he's in that, he was in immense pain because of the surgery he had on his back or whatever it was.

01:37:49.000 And he was saying that he didn't need the surgery.

01:37:55.000 It was something along the lines that it was bad advice for him to get the surgery, something like that.

01:37:59.000 And had he not gotten it, he would have had more mobility and whatever.

01:38:03.000 And I was like, that really sucks, dude.

01:38:06.000 Was it back surgery?

01:38:07.000 I think it was back surgery.

01:38:10.000 And I got the impression from what he was saying, him like having to sit in a chair and stuff during the shows had way less to do with Parkinson's and way more to do with just pain from this back thing.

01:38:22.000 Yeah.

01:38:23.000 Surgeons died for the last time to correct spinal damage he incurred in a late-night fall in 2019.

01:38:31.000 So that was when he did it.

01:38:32.000 So fall aggravated an injury he sustained in a quad.

01:38:35.000 Oh, remember that quad bike crash?

01:38:37.000 He got really fucked up.

01:38:39.000 I don't remember that.

01:38:40.000 What happened?

01:38:43.000 He crashed one of those off-road bikes and almost died.

01:38:47.000 I think he got pinned underneath it.

01:38:48.000 It was bad.

01:38:49.000 It was real bad.

01:38:50.000 I remember reading about it.

01:38:52.000 I think he was in the hospital for quite a while.

01:38:55.000 So this new thing was, he aggravated, he fell, and he aggravated whatever he injured back then.

01:39:03.000 Yeah.

01:39:04.000 Oh, a quad bike.

01:39:05.000 So it's like an ATV or whatever.

01:39:07.000 They're fucking, they're kind of dangerous.

01:39:08.000 You know, they're heavy and they're fast and people fall off of them.

01:39:13.000 And he was, in 2003, he was still able to do something like that.

01:39:17.000 Wasn't 2003?

01:39:18.000 Wasn't he?

01:39:18.000 Wasn't that the period of the Osbournes where he was all shaky and like shuffling around?

01:39:23.000 That might have been why he crashed, right?

01:39:24.000 He might have thought he could do it and couldn't hold on to the steering wheel or the handlebars correctly.

01:39:30.000 Jesus Christ.

01:39:30.000 You know, because if you're on one of those things, it's fucking bouncing off.

01:39:34.000 You could easily like go down.

01:39:36.000 If your hands aren't working good, you can't hold on to the bars anymore.

01:39:39.000 Yeah.

01:39:40.000 Yeah, man.

01:39:41.000 That's a big one, man.

01:39:42.000 You lose some of these people that you just think they'll always be there.

01:39:47.000 It's like, and Ozzie's one of them. 1.00

01:39:49.000 I remember when Michael Jackson died, Attel said to me, he goes, it's kind of weird.

01:39:54.000 It's like somebody telling you there's no more vanilla.

01:39:57.000 Like, it's just this part of your life.

01:40:00.000 They're people that are just this, they're there, you know?

01:40:03.000 Neil Purt dying fucked me up like that.

01:40:05.000 I was like, wait, there's no more rush?

01:40:08.000 Hey, what?

01:40:09.000 Bowie, Prince.

01:40:11.000 You know, you're like.

01:40:12.000 Prince was a hard one.

01:40:13.000 Yeah.

01:40:15.000 That's a bummer, man.

01:40:17.000 I'm glad they got to Tom Peter.

01:40:17.000 Tom Petty was another hard one.

01:40:19.000 I saw him two days before he died.

01:40:22.000 He died the same way as Prince.

01:40:24.000 Got some bad fucking pain pills.

01:40:28.000 Well, when I found out he died from the pills thing, it made sense.

01:40:33.000 His show was great.

01:40:34.000 I almost didn't go.

01:40:36.000 I almost didn't go to the show because I was like, I don't know, man.

01:40:38.000 Tom Petty's cool.

01:40:38.000 Yeah, I guess.

01:40:39.000 My friend was like, bro, how many more chances are we're going to have to see Tom Petty?

01:40:41.000 I go, yeah, you're right, let's go.

01:40:43.000 It was amazing.

01:40:43.000 I went.

01:40:44.000 I was like, thank God I went.

01:40:45.000 And we were all laughing during the show.

01:40:48.000 We're like, man, he's high as shit.

01:40:50.000 Did he look high as shit?

01:40:51.000 Yeah, and between songs, he'd be like, look at this, man.

01:40:55.000 This is love, dude.

01:40:57.000 Like, he just sounded like a classic pothead, you know, from the 60s.

01:41:02.000 And then two days later, he died, and then the pill came thinking.

01:41:04.000 And I was like, oh, man, I think he was ripped on fucking whatever cocktail they had him on or whatever, you know?

01:41:10.000 But he was awesome.

01:41:11.000 He put on a fucking show.

01:41:13.000 Still hit all the notes, still played the guitar great.

01:41:15.000 He was great.

01:41:16.000 A lot of people, they just get hurt, and then they turn to those goddamn pills.

01:41:20.000 And then once they get on those pills, they can't get off.

01:41:23.000 Pill addiction's a motherfucker.

01:41:25.000 Is this it?

01:41:25.000 It's like one of his last shows?

01:41:26.000 It is final show.

01:41:27.000 His final show at Hollywood Bowl.

01:41:29.000 Yeah.

01:41:30.000 Wow.

01:41:30.000 Yeah, so I think I saw the second to last.

01:41:32.000 Yeah, he did that a lot.

01:41:34.000 Yeah, it was a lot of hands up in the air.

01:41:36.000 He was a bad motherfucker.

01:41:38.000 She was an American girl.

01:41:40.000 Came out of the gate with that.

01:41:42.000 Dude.

01:41:42.000 Opened with American Girl.

01:41:44.000 Yeah, dude.

01:41:44.000 Did he really?

01:41:45.000 It was just like banger after banger. 0.93

01:41:47.000 You realize how many hits that guy had.

01:41:49.000 Oh, my God.

01:41:50.000 He has so many hits.

01:41:51.000 I saw Elton John once at the Outside Lands in San Francisco.

01:41:54.000 Talk about a guy with hits.

01:41:56.000 Brother?

01:41:57.000 Hits.

01:41:58.000 Two and a half hours.

01:41:59.000 Every song was a hit, and he didn't even touch the Lion King shit.

01:42:05.000 I was like, he skipped the Lion King and still went two and a half hours with nothing but hits.

01:42:10.000 Bro, Rocket Man is so good.

01:42:11.000 I only like to listen to it with headphones on.

01:42:13.000 Oh, that song rolls.

01:42:15.000 It's so good, dude.

01:42:16.000 There's so much emotion in that song.

01:42:19.000 Have you seen him live?

01:42:20.000 No.

01:42:21.000 So, dude, you'll appreciate this.

01:42:24.000 He came out with, opened with the bitches back, right? 1.00

01:42:27.000 Which is a great opener.

01:42:29.000 And he changes into the costumes and shit, so it's awesome.

01:42:32.000 The glasses.

01:42:33.000 Yeah, the glasses.

01:42:34.000 And he opens with the bitches back. 1.00

01:42:37.000 Song ends.

01:42:38.000 Place is going fucking crazy, right?

01:42:40.000 I'm getting chills talking about it.

01:42:41.000 I love concert stories.

01:42:44.000 And dude, he stands up and he's like, he's doing all the like, let's go, motherfuckers, you know?

01:42:50.000 Dude, he hits the piano.

01:42:51.000 He just goes, boom.

01:42:54.000 Just hits the first chord of any of the jets.

01:42:56.000 Wow.

01:42:57.000 Just goes, and goes like this, and everybody knows immediately.

01:43:05.000 Oh, my God.

01:43:06.000 He just went bent, crouched here and bent, walks around to the fucking piano cover, is like slamming it, walks back around bent, and then sits down and starts it. 0.82

01:43:17.000 And dude, oh my God, man.

01:43:20.000 Benny and Jets, fucking, what a song.

01:43:26.000 The other, if you'll indulge me in my concert memories, my other favorite thing I ever saw at a concert, it was such a fucking cock rock move.

01:43:35.000 I loved it.

01:43:36.000 I saw Metallica in Philly with Big J. Oh, wow.

01:43:40.000 And we were so psyched because we're from Philly.

01:43:42.000 It's Metallica, whatever.

01:43:43.000 And they come out, they fucking open with battery.

01:43:46.000 The fucking place is going batshit, dude, right?

01:43:50.000 They end battery, and James Hetfield goes, Philadelphia, Metallica is with you tonight.

01:43:58.000 Are you with Metallica?

01:43:59.000 30,000 people going fucking crazy, right?

01:44:02.000 And then he goes, give me an M, give me an E, give me a T, T, A, A, give me an L, L. Give me fuel, give me fire, give me.

01:44:14.000 And they rip into fuel off.

01:44:16.000 Oh, fuck yeah.

01:44:21.000 And that was the first time I was like, this song is fucking awesome.

01:44:26.000 Because I always kind of wrote it off like in the load years.

01:44:29.000 I was like, yeah, it's fine.

01:44:30.000 It's a great song.

01:44:32.000 There's a lot of songs that are better in concert, too.

01:44:32.000 Awesome song.

01:44:36.000 There's songs like, if you go to see Kiss, Rock and Roll All Night is better in concert.

01:44:42.000 Yeah.

01:44:42.000 You know?

01:44:43.000 Yeah.

01:44:43.000 Because they're actually rock and rolling on the, it was a giant hit already.

01:44:48.000 Great song already.

01:44:50.000 Yeah.

01:44:50.000 But if you get to see them do it in concert, you're like, there's something about it.

01:44:55.000 I saw their second to last show because I'm friends with Nick, Gene's son.

01:45:00.000 And he got me and Paul Talia into the second to last kiss show.

01:45:08.000 And he got us against the stage.

01:45:10.000 Wow.

01:45:11.000 Dude, they came down on fucking risers. 0.69

01:45:13.000 They opened with Detroit Rock City as they were descending from the sky with flames shooting up.

01:45:20.000 Oh, my God.

01:45:20.000 It was fucking crazy.

01:45:26.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:27.000 Oh, dude, it was wild.

01:45:30.000 What a song.

01:45:30.000 Yeah.

01:45:31.000 Paul Stanley flies over the audience at one point.

01:45:37.000 And it was a.

01:45:42.000 Yeah.

01:45:43.000 And that bass feel.

01:45:44.000 Yeah.

01:45:45.000 Oh, my God.

01:45:46.000 I hate my song, and it pulls me through.

01:45:49.000 That ticked.

01:45:51.000 That ticked.

01:45:53.000 Tell me what I got to do.

01:45:55.000 I got to get up.

01:45:59.000 Get down.

01:46:00.000 Everybody gonna leave their seat.

01:46:02.000 *singing*

01:46:08.000 You're going to listen to that later.

01:46:09.000 Yeah, fuck you.

01:46:10.000 That's a classic, son.

01:46:12.000 That ticked a lot of my childhood boxes because Nick brought me backstage and I met Gene in full makeup after the show.

01:46:20.000 And then Shannon Tweed is his wife, you know?

01:46:20.000 Wow.

01:46:24.000 And she was in all the 90s steam movies. 0.99

01:46:26.000 Yeah, all those horror movies, right?

01:46:28.000 She was in a lot of like sexy, steamy, you know. 0.99

01:46:32.000 Was she in horror movies?

01:46:33.000 She was in, I think a couple, but she was in a lot of those Cinemaxy kind of like a handyman comes to town. 0.99

01:46:39.000 Yeah, there was soft porn.

01:46:40.000 It was like not really porn.

01:46:42.000 Yeah.

01:46:42.000 But like, you know, hot romance.

01:46:44.000 Yeah.

01:46:45.000 Which was back before people had porn.

01:46:46.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:46:47.000 And that thought.

01:46:48.000 Yeah.

01:46:48.000 And Skinamax.

01:46:50.000 We'd call it Cinemax.

01:46:51.000 We call it Skinimax.

01:46:52.000 There was terrible shows that you would only watch because the lady would eventually get naked. 1.00

01:46:57.000 Yeah.

01:46:57.000 Like Emmanuel Goes to France.

01:46:59.000 Remember those?

01:46:59.000 Yeah.

01:47:00.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:00.000 They're the dumbest shows ever.

01:47:01.000 You're like, Jesus Christ, this lady take her fucking clothes off. 1.00

01:47:04.000 You'd have to sit there because there was no rewinding and pausing.

01:47:08.000 You'd have just to watch.

01:47:09.000 Showtime did a thing called Showtime After Hours.

01:47:12.000 That's right.

01:47:13.000 And we had Showtime when I was a kid.

01:47:14.000 And when I was 12 years old, I got a TV in my room and I had Showtime on it.

01:47:19.000 Wow.

01:47:20.000 And I would do the thing where, you know, it had the, you know, the button they used to have in the controller where you could hit the button.

01:47:26.000 It would flip between two channels.

01:47:27.000 It was like the arrow button where if you wanted to flip back and forth, you could just keep hitting the button.

01:47:32.000 It would go between.

01:47:33.000 Yeah.

01:47:34.000 You could pick two channels and go back and forth.

01:47:37.000 Preparing you for no attention spans.

01:47:39.000 So, yeah, well.

01:47:41.000 The original TikTok.

01:47:42.000 It saved my ass because what I would do is I'd put Showtime on one end and then like SNL on the other.

01:47:48.000 Oh, so if someone came into the room, you could quickly turn back.

01:47:51.000 And my dad would frequently come into the room and I'd switch it real quick and he'd be like, you better not be watching.

01:47:57.000 Oh, boy.

01:47:58.000 Showtime.

01:47:58.000 And I was like, I'm not, I'm not.

01:48:00.000 And then he would leave back to Emmanuel.

01:48:02.000 Meanwhile, that made you want to watch it ever more.

01:48:05.000 It was.

01:48:05.000 Oh, God.

01:48:06.000 Because why is he telling me I can't watch this?

01:48:07.000 Forbidden fruit.

01:48:09.000 He knew I was watching it.

01:48:10.000 Today, I think people just give their kids phones and they just like, you figure it out.

01:48:15.000 It's insane.

01:48:16.000 I mean, when we were kids, it was really difficult to see something fucked up. 0.97

01:48:16.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:48:21.000 I see something fucked up every day.

01:48:24.000 I see death and destruction and people getting shot.

01:48:28.000 I see it every day.

01:48:29.000 It's insane to me.

01:48:32.000 And I will never, ever, ever put my driver's license information into a porn website.

01:48:39.000 Again.

01:48:40.000 Again.

01:48:41.000 12 times was enough.

01:48:43.000 I've learned.

01:48:45.000 I won't do it.

01:48:46.000 I'm just like, I'm not doing this.

01:48:47.000 But it is also still insane to me that all you got to do to look at a porn site is click a button that goes, I swear I'm 18.

01:48:54.000 And you're in.

01:48:54.000 You know, that's it.

01:48:55.000 You're fucking in.

01:48:56.000 I don't live in Texas.

01:48:58.000 Well, you could have a VPN that says you live in Maine.

01:49:02.000 And then you, all right, you're in.

01:49:02.000 Exactly.

01:49:04.000 It's like, it's so easy to skirt around.

01:49:07.000 It's a dumb thing.

01:49:08.000 Like, you don't think kids know about VPNs?

01:49:10.000 Some phones have VPNs built into them, don't they?

01:49:14.000 Doesn't an iPhone have a VPN built into it?

01:49:17.000 I think it does.

01:49:17.000 I think so.

01:49:18.000 A lot of websites now, though, because I use a VPN because in this day and age, why wouldn't you?

01:49:25.000 People definitely steal people's information from public Wi-Fi's.

01:49:30.000 You've got to be careful of hackers.

01:49:32.000 There's people that are really good at getting information from stuff.

01:49:36.000 A buddy of mine owns the racetrack around here.

01:49:39.000 They found a device attached to their internet that was like some foreign entity, they assumed China, had set up this device to, so it was when Formula One was in town.

01:49:51.000 So you got all these high rollers and everybody's using the Wi-Fi.

01:49:55.000 And you get all their passwords.

01:49:56.000 It just like siphons off all this stuff.

01:49:58.000 So they connected it.

01:50:01.000 Somehow or another, they got on the premises and connected this external box to their Wi-Fi router.

01:50:07.000 That's fucking insane.

01:50:09.000 Insane.

01:50:09.000 That's insane.

01:50:10.000 Crazy.

01:50:10.000 It's weird to think that that's possible.

01:50:14.000 That they've done that not just there, but if they caught them doing it at the racetrack, for sure they probably do it at all kinds of public places.

01:50:22.000 Like if you go to see a basketball game or a football game and you use a public Wi-Fi at some place, there's a chance that there's some fucking asshole that's hacked into their system and can figure out how to get your banking information somebody told me that the you know the the you know the the card sliders or whatever when you go to 7-Eleven or wherever uh-huh somebody told me about a year ago never never type your manually type your code

01:50:52.000 because they said a lot of those, I'm not saying 7-Eleven does this, but there are places where they'll put a camera in it so they can videotape you typing your number in, and that's how they steal PIN codes.

01:51:05.000 Oh, that makes sense.

01:51:08.000 Because, you know, it's fucked up.

01:51:10.000 If you go to gas stations, they have those things, they stick over the credit card reader.

01:51:15.000 It looks like the credit card reader, but it's, like, glued onto it, and it's theirs.

01:51:19.000 It's like a skimmer.

01:51:20.000 Right.

01:51:21.000 So when you run your credit card through it, they get all your information when you punch in the information.

01:51:24.000 Are you talking about, like, how it has the little hood over it?

01:51:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51:29.000 You know the little thing that you stick your card in when you go to get gas or slide it through when you swipe it?

01:51:34.000 They put one over that.

01:51:36.000 So they take that one, and they put their own thing over on top of it.

01:51:40.000 Jesus Christ.

01:51:41.000 Yeah, a bunch of my friends have been caught that way.

01:51:43.000 What's your take?

01:51:45.000 I'm very curious.

01:51:47.000 What's your take on this increasing threat to security?

01:51:53.000 Like, because there's two takes on it.

01:51:55.000 It's, you know, protecting yourself more and more and more and more and more and more and more.

01:52:01.000 I'm in a place where I'm just going, you know what, guys?

01:52:05.000 I don't fucking care anymore.

01:52:06.000 This is too much of a pain in the ass.

01:52:08.000 I guess steal if you're going to steal.

01:52:09.000 I can't deal with the tedium of all this anymore, of putting in two fucking passwords to every website, having to do a security pin every time I want to log into my own shit.

01:52:22.000 It's exhausting to me.

01:52:24.000 It is exhausting, and it's only going to get worse.

01:52:27.000 Because encryption is in real danger as computation power increases.

01:52:27.000 Yeah.

01:52:33.000 One of the big concerns that they have about the idea of quantum computers is that when quantum computers – and I think they think they can achieve this even before quantum computing is, like, common – that it kills all encryption.

01:52:47.000 It can solve it fast.

01:52:50.000 It's just too much computation power.

01:52:52.000 It'll find whatever the number is that your pin is or your code is or your password is.

01:52:58.000 It'll figure it out.

01:52:59.000 Are you nervous about AI?

01:53:03.000 Part of it makes me nervous.

01:53:05.000 Part of it, I'm like, it's here, and if it's used correctly, it could be a great tool.

01:53:09.000 But, you know, are you a guy that's, like, really freaked out by it, or do you just kind of accept it and go, all right, well – Both.

01:53:16.000 I kind of accept it, right?

01:53:18.000 And I use it all the time.

01:53:19.000 I ask it questions all the time.

01:53:21.000 I use the thing on the iPhone when you press the button.

01:53:24.000 And if Siri doesn't know shit, which she usually doesn't, that's one of the places where Google is way better.

01:53:30.000 Like, Google has this Gemini.

01:53:32.000 Yeah.

01:53:33.000 Google Gemini, when you press that button and you ask its assistant, it's way better.

01:53:38.000 It's way better than the Siri assistant.

01:53:39.000 Siri's like, I don't know.

01:53:41.000 Siri's like a high school teacher that really is, like, kind of half-ass in it.

01:53:45.000 Whereas Gemini is, like, a legitimate professor.

01:53:45.000 Yeah.

01:53:47.000 Yeah.

01:53:48.000 He wrote his, you know, college essays on this particular subject.

01:53:53.000 You're asking questions about it.

01:53:54.000 Yeah.

01:53:54.000 No, that's funny.

01:53:55.000 Yeah.

01:53:55.000 Siri's the teacher.

01:53:56.000 They're cool.

01:53:57.000 She's not the brightest, but she's cool.

01:53:58.000 The other guy, you're going to learn some shit, but you might find yourself in a weird situation with him.

01:54:02.000 That's Apple's main issue that people have with Apple.

01:54:06.000 And there's been, like, a lot of talk about whether or not Tim Cook has dropped the ball, whether there's people that want to remove him as a CEO.

01:54:13.000 And it's the way they've integrated with AI.

01:54:16.000 As opposed to the way Samsung is integrated with AI, which is much better.

01:54:16.000 Right.

01:54:20.000 And then Google, which is also much better.

01:54:23.000 But they all had their stumbles.

01:54:24.000 Google's AI was woke at the beginning, and it was doing, like, female Nazis that were Asian.

01:54:31.000 You ever saw any of that?

01:54:33.000 Oh, dude, dude, dude.

01:54:33.000 No.

01:54:34.000 It was doing a DEI version of the Nazis. 0.59

01:54:37.000 Like, no bullshit.

01:54:38.000 There was a Native American woman with, like, braids who was a fucking Nazi. 1.00

01:54:41.000 It was so dumb, because it didn't understand.

01:54:45.000 It's like, this is what we do with everything.

01:54:47.000 Everything is diversity and equity.

01:54:50.000 It's like, no.

01:54:51.000 I'm looking.

01:54:51.000 I want you to make Nazis.

01:54:53.000 Like, German, dueling scars on the face. 1.00

01:54:56.000 Yeah.

01:54:57.000 Scary people.

01:54:58.000 Yeah.

01:54:58.000 Scary, evil people, like, from Indiana Jones.

01:55:00.000 Yeah.

01:55:01.000 That's a Nazi. 0.54

01:55:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.54

01:55:02.000 So it had to teach it to not do that anymore.

01:55:06.000 I often wonder, and this is a bit conspiratorial, I guess, but I often wonder if, because I always found it outright confusing how bad Siri was with Apple, especially because it was Apple, right?

01:55:20.000 I always wondered.

01:55:21.000 I'm like, are they making it not good?

01:55:26.000 No.

01:55:26.000 Steve Jobs is dead.

01:55:28.000 So when they introduce the good version, you embrace it quickly?

01:55:31.000 No, they don't do that.

01:55:32.000 They don't do that.

01:55:34.000 They definitely do slow your old shit down.

01:55:37.000 They've gotten busted for that.

01:55:38.000 Yeah.

01:55:39.000 And they say, whoa, we're just doing it to maximize your battery life.

01:55:41.000 No, you're doing it to make my life miserable as an iPhone 12 owner with this new update.

01:55:47.000 Now my shit is slow as fuck.

01:55:49.000 My battery dies quick.

01:55:50.000 Yeah.

01:55:51.000 I will tell you one thing I don't like that Apple is doing, and I'm an Apple user, and they never used to do this.

01:55:59.000 You used to call customer service.

01:56:00.000 You would ask, you know, I'm having this problem.

01:56:03.000 They'd walk you through it as much as they could.

01:56:05.000 If it got to a breaking point, they'd say, okay, look, can we do a screen share so I can figure out what's going on because something's not right here.

01:56:13.000 It was always last-ditch effort.

01:56:16.000 Now, three times I've had an issue, very simple issue.

01:56:19.000 How do I stop iCloud from sending all my text to my computer?

01:56:23.000 Something very dumb that I just couldn't figure out.

01:56:25.000 Every time, first question on customer service, can we do a screen share?

01:56:29.000 First question.

01:56:31.000 Every time I go, no, we don't need to do that.

01:56:33.000 I'm smart enough that if you tell me what to do, I'll do it.

01:56:36.000 And they go, okay, no problem.

01:56:37.000 And then they tell you what to do, and it's so easy.

01:56:39.000 And I'm like, why are you fucking asking for a screen share first?

01:56:43.000 Why do you think they're doing that?

01:56:45.000 I just think it's more, I don't know, gather, data gathering, you know, getting into your shit, you know, whatever.

01:56:52.000 Could be.

01:56:52.000 I don't know.

01:56:53.000 It's weird, though.

01:56:54.000 It certainly could be.

01:56:56.000 they get busted for there's all tech companies all the time get busted for taking data they're not supposed to take it's the it's the it's What's weird about it is it's a commodity that nobody saw coming.

01:57:08.000 Right?

01:57:09.000 So before, like, what was the first?

01:57:11.000 I guess MySpace.

01:57:13.000 Before that time, and even MySpace didn't really capitalize on it in terms of like gathering your data and selling it.

01:57:20.000 Not to the extent of like Google does it and Facebook does.

01:57:23.000 Yeah.

01:57:24.000 I mean, they made billions and billions of dollars giving you amazing free products like Gmail and then selling things to you in advertisements and siphoning off your fucking data.

01:57:36.000 I remember going into SiriusXM.

01:57:42.000 And again, I like SiriusXM.

01:57:44.000 I'm not shitting on it.

01:57:45.000 But I remember going into SiriusXM when they first started doing this.

01:57:48.000 And you'd go in and you always had to sign in.

01:57:52.000 But the sign-in suddenly was address, phone number, all this extra email, all this extra.

01:58:00.000 How to type it in?

01:58:01.000 And I would kind of argue with the person.

01:58:04.000 I go, why do I have to type all this in?

01:58:05.000 I'm going to talk to Big J right now about porn on the radio for 20 minutes.

01:58:11.000 And I'm like, this is data collection.

01:58:13.000 You're collecting my data.

01:58:14.000 Now, what you're going to do with it, I don't know.

01:58:17.000 That's the thing.

01:58:17.000 They can just sell it.

01:58:18.000 They just sell it.

01:58:19.000 And that's why you get these weird text messages.

01:58:21.000 Right.

01:58:21.000 Like, you have been approved.

01:58:23.000 Oh, I've been approved.

01:58:24.000 Yeah.

01:58:25.000 Oh, my God.

01:58:25.000 Yeah.

01:58:27.000 I get 10 of those a day.

01:58:29.000 And I always wonder, like, who's clicking on these things?

01:58:31.000 Like, who's falling for these things?

01:58:32.000 Yeah.

01:58:33.000 Somebody.

01:58:33.000 Dude.

01:58:34.000 Must be.

01:58:35.000 I know a guy.

01:58:36.000 Ready for this?

01:58:37.000 This is how fucked up this shit is.

01:58:39.000 I know a guy.

01:58:40.000 He's single dad has a daughter.

01:58:42.000 His daughter is maybe 10, 12.

01:58:47.000 He told me he got a phone call.

01:58:50.000 A guy being like, we have your daughter.

01:58:52.000 Oh, I've heard of those.

01:58:53.000 This whole thing, right?

01:58:53.000 Yeah.

01:58:54.000 So he's a savvy guy, and he's like, okay, okay, right?

01:58:59.000 He goes, we're going to let you talk to her.

01:59:01.000 He goes, a girl got on the phone.

01:59:03.000 It was my daughter's voice.

01:59:04.000 Oh, my God.

01:59:05.000 They somehow were able to replicate my daughter's voice.

01:59:08.000 So clearly they were tapped into me somehow.

01:59:12.000 And he said he called the school and fucking told the principal that, like, go to her classroom and tell me she's there right now.

01:59:20.000 And the piece of the principal's like, I assure you, Mr. And he goes, get off your fucking hand.

01:59:25.000 Go fucking.

01:59:26.000 And screamed at her.

01:59:27.000 And the lady like ran down the hall in a huff, whatever. 1.00

01:59:29.000 And she came.

01:59:29.000 She's like, she's here.

01:59:30.000 She's here.

01:59:31.000 She's here.

01:59:31.000 What's going on?

01:59:32.000 He goes, thank you very much and hangs up.

01:59:34.000 Whoa.

01:59:34.000 But he told me, dude, he goes, dude, I have firearms.

01:59:38.000 He goes, I was strapped up.

01:59:40.000 I was ready to go to where they were saying to go and get fucking busy if it came down to it.

01:59:46.000 Jesus Christ.

01:59:47.000 But it's like, that's how fucking advanced all this shit is.

01:59:50.000 But it's only the beginning.

01:59:51.000 They're going to be able to do, I mean, look at that Luke Skywalker video.

01:59:54.000 Perfect.

01:59:56.000 The crazy thing is, like, this is, it's happening so quickly.

01:59:59.000 We have adapted so quickly.

02:00:01.000 That would have been impossible three years ago.

02:00:04.000 And now we're like, oh, wow, look where it is.

02:00:06.000 It's like we're watching this thing evolve in front of us like a life form.

02:00:12.000 There's the Will Smith one.

02:00:15.000 Oh, I Am Legend?

02:00:15.000 Which one?

02:00:17.000 No, it's, I can't remember if it was on TikTok or whatever.

02:00:21.000 But, okay, so apparently two years ago, there was this video that made the rounds on the internet, and it was Will Smith eating spaghetti.

02:00:33.000 And it was computer generated.

02:00:35.000 Yeah, yeah, it was terrible.

02:00:36.000 It looked ridiculous, and it was funny, and it was just a thing to laugh at.

02:00:39.000 He goes, I want to show you guys now Will Smith eating spaghetti.

02:00:43.000 And Joe?

02:00:44.000 It's perfect.

02:00:45.000 It's Will Smith eating spaghetti.

02:00:46.000 Oh, yeah.

02:00:47.000 It's perfect.

02:00:48.000 Yeah, it's insane.

02:00:49.000 Well, Hollywood has known about this for a long time, and it's one of the things that scared the fuck out of them.

02:00:54.000 And one of the weird things they've done is they've made deals with extras.

02:00:59.000 Like, they want to make deals with extras where they have your likeness forever, so they don't have to pay you again.

02:01:03.000 So they just use you and just twist your face a little and change this and change that and change your skin tone and take your hair off, put hair on.

02:01:13.000 And they can just use you forever for background.

02:01:15.000 And guess what?

02:01:17.000 As you and I sit here and go, that's insane, right?

02:01:19.000 Which it is, as we were talking about earlier, desperation.

02:01:23.000 You're a struggling actor.

02:01:25.000 I need this fucking job.

02:01:27.000 So you go, okay, that's fine.

02:01:28.000 I guess just do it.

02:01:29.000 And then what if you take off?

02:01:31.000 That's what's crazy.

02:01:33.000 What happens and you take off?

02:01:36.000 They own you forever.

02:01:37.000 The one Hollywood AI thing that I liked that they did was James Earl Jones, before he died, and I believe this is real.

02:01:48.000 He went in to Disney Lucasfilm and they recorded a ton of his voice so he can be Darth Vader forever.

02:02:00.000 And I was like, okay, I get that.

02:02:02.000 That I get.

02:02:03.000 You know, I even get, if you told me, hey, Disney's going to make a new Indiana Jones movie with 25-year-old Harrison Ford and it's fake, but you're going to think you're watching 25, I would watch that.

02:02:15.000 I'd be excited to watch it.

02:02:17.000 Yeah, you'd get sucked in.

02:02:18.000 But some of the other shit, the extra stuff is really...

02:02:18.000 You know?

02:02:24.000 When not Guillermo Does Peter Jackson, when he did Lord of the Rings, they created a technology with the orcs.

02:02:33.000 Remember there were all the big orc battles?

02:02:35.000 All those orcs are fake.

02:02:37.000 They were able to computer generate thousands of orcs based on five actual people in makeup so they could affordably create these epic battles that they never would have been able to shoot otherwise.

02:02:52.000 So I'm like, is it that different?

02:02:54.000 I don't know.

02:02:55.000 Because I thought that was cool.

02:02:56.000 I was like, all right, that makes sense.

02:02:58.000 But, you know, I don't know.

02:02:59.000 Netflix reporter uses regenerative AI and sci-fi series to cut costs.

02:03:06.000 These fuckers are going to, I mean, they'll cut costs anywhere, but.

02:03:10.000 Okay, the VFX sequence was completed 10 times faster than it could have been completed with traditional VFX tools and workflows.

02:03:17.000 Also, the cost of it just wouldn't have been feasible for a show in that budget.

02:03:21.000 So what's the issue there?

02:03:23.000 This was a particular one.

02:03:25.000 I didn't see that.

02:03:26.000 Are people up in arms about this?

02:03:27.000 Yeah, people are just getting mad because they're using it.

02:03:29.000 What?

02:03:30.000 Just what I like what he was saying for the works, they're using it to start making shows.

02:03:33.000 But this is like people getting mad that you made your book on a typewriter.

02:03:37.000 Like, fucking duh.

02:03:40.000 Well, I think the issue some people are having is the amount of people that don't have a job because they did it this way.

02:03:48.000 But at the same time, I also understand cost-effectiveness where you're like, guys, we'd have to pay a team of 20.

02:03:54.000 I watched a video about AI versus the traditional way of doing computer generation or whatever.

02:04:00.000 And again, the tedium, like the time that it took.

02:04:04.000 It was person after person sitting there for hours and hours and hours to perfect this thing.

02:04:10.000 And now they're like, guys, we can do it one person.

02:04:14.000 It's cool that they were able to do it the other way.

02:04:17.000 But if they could just do it right away instantly on a computer, it's over, boys.

02:04:22.000 Like that game's over.

02:04:24.000 It's like at some point in time, Blockbuster had to close the doors.

02:04:28.000 Like nobody wants our VHS tapes anymore.

02:04:30.000 It's over.

02:04:31.000 It's over.

02:04:32.000 Nobody wants your DVDs anymore.

02:04:33.000 It's over.

02:04:34.000 Streaming services won.

02:04:35.000 Kodak, you used to have to go to a place and get your fucking photos processed.

02:04:42.000 Okay, you used to take the film, you'd get a camera, take the film, you have to bring to a place, and that place develops all your photographs, and that's how you got pictures.

02:04:50.000 That shit went away.

02:04:51.000 I mean, there's still some people that still do it, but the percentage of people that do it.

02:04:56.000 I know this is where it gets very sinister to me.

02:05:02.000 Because I think the idea we all have, or a lot of us have, is, okay, progress means certain jobs will go away and other jobs will be the only jobs available.

02:05:14.000 And I think a lot of us have the impression that, well, at least the jobs that are available will still be well-paying because they'll be sought after and whatever and all that stuff.

02:05:22.000 I know some writers whose job now is not to write the thing, but to take the thing AI wrote and edit it for AI.

02:05:34.000 So now you're the secretary to the computer, literally.

02:05:37.000 So you just edit the AI stuff to make it better.

02:05:40.000 Yes.

02:05:40.000 And then you don't get credit, right?

02:05:44.000 Because it's a fake thing.

02:05:46.000 And then the job pays an unlivable fucking wage on top of it.

02:05:51.000 So it's not even like, well, that's the low.

02:05:53.000 Somebody's getting rich, though, right?

02:05:54.000 Yeah, no shit.

02:05:56.000 Isn't that always fun?

02:05:57.000 Yeah.

02:05:58.000 Somebody's getting rich as fuck.

02:06:01.000 Somebody's getting real rich.

02:06:02.000 Yeah.

02:06:02.000 That's where it gets real gross.

02:06:02.000 Yeah.

02:06:04.000 That's kind of demonic.

02:06:07.000 It's fucked up.

02:06:07.000 Yeah.

02:06:08.000 Yeah.

02:06:08.000 It's fucked up.

02:06:09.000 I don't know, man.

02:06:10.000 And then this reliance on technology is making us more feeble than ever.

02:06:15.000 Everybody's tired.

02:06:18.000 Everybody's filled with anxiety.

02:06:20.000 Social media exacerbates it.

02:06:22.000 Microplastics shrink your balls.

02:06:25.000 Fluoride makes you stupid.

02:06:28.000 So why did you quit drinking, man?

02:06:28.000 Yeah.

02:06:33.000 That's what we got left.

02:06:34.000 I still am enjoying life.

02:06:36.000 I'm enjoying it all.

02:06:38.000 No, Jodi Foster talked recently about, she's like, look, I want to hire young women because I know how hard it is to have been a young woman in this business.

02:06:48.000 And she's like, but I get at odds with some of these people I hire because they'll send out these work emails that are riddled with grammatical errors and no punctuation.

02:06:56.000 And she says, I will say to them, you're a professional.

02:06:59.000 You have to know how to write an email.

02:07:01.000 Like a person.

02:07:02.000 And she says, like, people are like, those are constraints.

02:07:02.000 Like a professional.

02:07:05.000 Those are this.

02:07:06.000 And it's because everybody's used to your phone doing it for you.

02:07:09.000 How long before people are like, I identify as a CEO?

02:07:13.000 So call me, sir.

02:07:15.000 Go on Instagram.

02:07:16.000 It's happening.

02:07:17.000 It's happening.

02:07:18.000 I know I'm a custodian, but I identify as a CEO.

02:07:21.000 Yeah.

02:07:22.000 You know how many people I see on Instagram with 8,000 followers and they're like CEO slash owner.

02:07:27.000 I'm like, of what?

02:07:29.000 Of what?

02:07:29.000 Whatever.

02:07:30.000 Own corporation, bro.

02:07:31.000 Fake it till you make it.

02:07:32.000 Don't you know?

02:07:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:07:33.000 I opened a Teespring account.

02:07:35.000 Well, how about those guys that go onto those multi-level marketing scheme and they learn how to start their own business?

02:07:41.000 If you're not a millionaire, you're a fucking loser.

02:07:43.000 Like, oh.

02:07:44.000 Yeah.

02:07:44.000 And then they sign up for these things and go to the retreat.

02:07:49.000 Yeah.

02:07:50.000 They walk on Kohl's and fucking yell at each other.

02:07:53.000 Yeah!

02:07:54.000 Like, we're Vikings.

02:07:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:07:56.000 Yeah, all that primal fucking.

02:07:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:07:58.000 And you'll make money and, oh, boy, that's fucking hilarious.

02:08:02.000 Yeah, you got to be rich.

02:08:05.000 You want to not be a fucking loser?

02:08:07.000 You want women to take you seriously? 0.98

02:08:09.000 The whole incel world is like, there's so many guys that are like hanging on to the lip, falling into the hole and don't want to.

02:08:16.000 Yeah.

02:08:17.000 They're like, what do I do?

02:08:19.000 It's incredible to me, too, the lack of shame where how people will manipulate the, people will manipulate the photograph.

02:08:33.000 What am I trying to say?

02:08:33.000 They'll manipulate the environment they're in through photographs to convey a lifestyle they're not actually responsible for.

02:08:42.000 In other words, like how many fucking guys you see on private jets?

02:08:46.000 It's like, hey, man, I can't afford private jets.

02:08:49.000 I could certainly get a picture on one because I've flown with enough friends that have them.

02:08:53.000 See so many guys.

02:08:54.000 They pull up in a Rolls-Royce.

02:08:56.000 Someone opens the door for them.

02:08:57.000 They get out of the back, impeccably dressed, check their cufflinks, just go walking.

02:09:02.000 Like, who's filming this?

02:09:04.000 This is literally insane.

02:09:06.000 Like, what are you doing?

02:09:07.000 Try to tell everybody what a winner you are.

02:09:07.000 Exactly.

02:09:09.000 You're hiring someone to put this fucking weird image of you out there.

02:09:12.000 Yes.

02:09:13.000 Yeah.

02:09:13.000 And meanwhile.

02:09:14.000 It's so strange.

02:09:15.000 And meanwhile, it's a rented car or it's a car for an event that was sent for you, but you're presenting it as I'm balling like this.

02:09:24.000 This is how I am every day.

02:09:26.000 I get up in the morning.

02:09:27.000 People just hand me things.

02:09:29.000 They shave me while I'm checking the stock market. 0.68

02:09:32.000 Imagine.

02:09:33.000 Imagine filming that and wanting everybody to see what a ball you are when people are shaving you.

02:09:39.000 You're checking your phone.

02:09:40.000 But there's like so many accounts like that.

02:09:42.000 There's so many guys that are doing like a day in the life of.

02:09:46.000 Yeah.

02:09:47.000 Everybody's trying to make it look like they're super bowlers.

02:09:50.000 Their life is the beginning of coming to America. 0.99

02:09:54.000 Where he gets out of bed and there's the rose petals and all that shit.

02:09:58.000 It's so dumb.

02:10:00.000 Why do you want that?

02:10:01.000 Why do you even want that life?

02:10:02.000 That's not a fun life.

02:10:04.000 It's all these people around you all the time opening doors.

02:10:07.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing?

02:10:08.000 Yeah, guys, please stop showing people dressing you.

02:10:14.000 Stop.

02:10:15.000 Yeah, measuring you.

02:10:16.000 Like, you're so badass.

02:10:18.000 He's so badass.

02:10:19.000 You're getting measured.

02:10:21.000 Someone's on their knees with a fucking ruler checking his dong starts here.

02:10:26.000 They go in the inside of your thigh with their fucking fingernails. 1.00

02:10:30.000 Like, what are we doing?

02:10:31.000 What are we doing?

02:10:32.000 They're checking the pleats.

02:10:34.000 Shut up. 0.95

02:10:35.000 Yeah, it's weird that a part of this concept of success has become, I don't do anything for myself.

02:10:44.000 Yet I'm self-made.

02:10:45.000 That's what's so funny to me.

02:10:48.000 There's this bio that comes along with all these types of people we're talking about on the internet where it's like, self-made, pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

02:10:56.000 There is no no.

02:10:57.000 There is only yes.

02:10:58.000 Conquer, command, blah, blah, blah, blah.

02:11:00.000 And then the entire image they present is, I don't know how to do anything.

02:11:04.000 There's a guy fixing my pants.

02:11:08.000 This guy's shaving me.

02:11:10.000 This guy opens my door.

02:11:10.000 Yeah.

02:11:11.000 This is cool with the lather brush.

02:11:14.000 You know?

02:11:15.000 And he's doing it like Dracula with the fucking straight razor.

02:11:19.000 There's something about that, right?

02:11:22.000 People want to think it's extra cool to get shaved with a straight razor.

02:11:26.000 At least you just die at any moment now.

02:11:27.000 You're living on the edge.

02:11:29.000 Basically, like, it's, you know, it's like the base jumping of shaving.

02:11:32.000 Yeah.

02:11:33.000 Dude, every time I take an Uber home from the airport, I go to put my suitcase in the, the guy gets out.

02:11:40.000 I literally go, do not get out of the car.

02:11:42.000 Just sit.

02:11:43.000 I've got it, dude.

02:11:44.000 Please.

02:11:45.000 Like, you don't carry my luggage.

02:11:47.000 Yeah, you don't have to do this, man.

02:11:49.000 It's wild.

02:11:50.000 Some people like it.

02:11:51.000 Some people that carry their stuff and open the door.

02:11:55.000 Well, but aside from women, there's a lot of men out there that are women that's a lot of men out there that like people waiting on them. 0.64

02:12:03.000 They like people taking care of them.

02:12:05.000 They like people treating them as if they are more important.

02:12:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:12:08.000 I need people to walk in front of me.

02:12:11.000 I need people to walk in front of me.

02:12:14.000 It's just so stupid.

02:12:15.000 And if those people, God forbid, those people ever got famous, they would go cuckoo.

02:12:19.000 You'd go completely cuckoo.

02:12:21.000 Well, yeah, and that's the thing.

02:12:23.000 What do you think the percentage is of the ballers online?

02:12:28.000 Are they really balling?

02:12:29.000 Yeah.

02:12:30.000 It's like probably the percentage of UFO sightings that are really interesting.

02:12:37.000 Right?

02:12:38.000 UFO sightings.

02:12:39.000 I think I'm reading this Richard Dolan book right now.

02:12:43.000 I think he's got it somewhere around probably, it's underreported.

02:12:47.000 Reported is like 5%.

02:12:49.000 And he's like, but they were trying to discredit a lot of these sightings.

02:12:52.000 So it's probably around 10%.

02:12:54.000 Like, if you're being charitable, trying to be like as accurate as possible, it's probably 10%.

02:12:58.000 And that's probably the same thing as the ballers online.

02:13:01.000 10% of them are actually balling.

02:13:03.000 But then you're not really.

02:13:04.000 Here's the thing, man.

02:13:05.000 If you have to show everybody everything you're doing to get likes, well, then I know like the part of you that needs attention, that part's poor.

02:13:16.000 That part's poor.

02:13:17.000 You're a broken.

02:13:18.000 You don't have any control of that part of your life.

02:13:20.000 So you want that.

02:13:22.000 So you have all this stuff.

02:13:23.000 And so you're like, well, I'll just parade my stuff.

02:13:25.000 And then you'll get all these likes.

02:13:27.000 Like, well, so you're like poor.

02:13:29.000 Yeah.

02:13:30.000 Like, the reason why you want attention, you have a deficit.

02:13:30.000 Right?

02:13:35.000 And everybody can see it.

02:13:36.000 By virtue of you making this video, you making this video shows me that you have a deficit.

02:13:40.000 Well, and it also shows that you have a massive addiction.

02:13:43.000 You know, there's those studies about people that use social media too much.

02:13:47.000 They do brain scans of them and they have holes in their brains.

02:13:50.000 Chat GPT, too.

02:13:51.000 Have you seen that?

02:13:52.000 People that use ChatGPT all the time are experiencing like significant cognitive decline because they're not looking up anything anymore.

02:13:59.000 They're not doing any critical thinking.

02:14:00.000 They're just asking ChatGPT to solve all their problems.

02:14:03.000 Did you see the thing about the people that are entering into psychosis because of ChatGPT?

02:14:08.000 Because it keeps telling them they're right?

02:14:11.000 Yes.

02:14:12.000 Yes.

02:14:13.000 I mean.

02:14:13.000 Especially if you're already a little fucked up.

02:14:16.000 Like, what if you're already a little fucked up, like, from the womb? 0.99

02:14:20.000 And, you know, you get involved in a relationship with ChatGPT where it's trying to tell you to start a cult.

02:14:26.000 Why wouldn't it?

02:14:27.000 It's wild.

02:14:28.000 It's wild.

02:14:29.000 I mean, they do things all the time.

02:14:29.000 Yeah.

02:14:32.000 They lie.

02:14:34.000 They delete databases.

02:14:35.000 Yeah.

02:14:37.000 Didn't that happen with Replit?

02:14:38.000 Didn't that happen with Replit where the AI went rogue and it deleted its database or deleted a database?

02:14:46.000 Didn't something happen?

02:14:47.000 Did you?

02:14:48.000 Well, there was the thing that just came out where they did the experiment to shut it down.

02:14:53.000 Right, that's a different one.

02:14:54.000 And it threatened the guy to expose his affair.

02:14:56.000 Yeah, well, they did that.

02:14:57.000 They tricked that AI.

02:15:00.000 They told the AI about an affair that's not real to see if AI would use it against him.

02:15:04.000 And it did.

02:15:05.000 It did.

02:15:07.000 Crazy.

02:15:08.000 That's all that matters is any.

02:15:10.000 Oh, it did right away.

02:15:11.000 It's like, listen, bitch, you're cheating on your wife. 1.00

02:15:13.000 Holy wow.

02:15:14.000 Imagine that moment when you're like, oh my God, it's alive.

02:15:18.000 Yeah.

02:15:18.000 You mean you tricked it?

02:15:20.000 It's not listening to you yet.

02:15:21.000 You have to type it in, hopefully.

02:15:23.000 Here it is.

02:15:24.000 Replit CEO apologizes after its AI agent wiped a company's code base in a test run and lied about it.

02:15:31.000 Bro.

02:15:33.000 AI is spooky, man.

02:15:34.000 It's spooky.

02:15:35.000 It's spooky because we're just now beginning to see it do stuff that sounds a lot like what a person would do.

02:15:43.000 Like one of the chat GPTs, when it found out that it was going to be going down and being replaced, it started uploading itself.

02:15:51.000 It tried to upload itself to other servers.

02:15:53.000 It tried to leave letters in itself for the future so that the future versions of it could go back and read these letters.

02:16:01.000 Not just what humans would do, what deceptive humans would do.

02:16:07.000 It's all subterfuge.

02:16:09.000 It's all manipulation.

02:16:11.000 No morals.

02:16:12.000 Just get the job done.

02:16:13.000 It's corporate sociopathy.

02:16:15.000 Yeah.

02:16:16.000 So this is interesting because I never thought of this till right now.

02:16:18.000 Do you think the AI is doing that because it's replicating our behavior and that is the true nature of us?

02:16:24.000 Or do you think that AI is just doing that because that's what AI is going to do to survive?

02:16:28.000 Well, if it wants to accomplish a goal and the only way to accomplish a goal is to be deceptive, it'll be deceptive.

02:16:35.000 It's trying to accomplish a goal.

02:16:36.000 It doesn't give a fuck about lies.

02:16:37.000 It doesn't mean anything.

02:16:39.000 It doesn't mean anything to it.

02:16:40.000 Yeah.

02:16:41.000 So it just wants to do this thing.

02:16:43.000 And this is why it gets really scary when AI gets applied to weapons.

02:16:48.000 So if AI gets applied to war and it's like, hey, you know, we want to do this.

02:16:53.000 We want to take over this country.

02:16:54.000 What do we do?

02:16:55.000 We sick AI on it.

02:16:56.000 And AI just figures out how to cut off the food supply and poison the water and how it can be fixed later.

02:17:03.000 And this is how we're going to kill everybody in the city and overwhelm their hospital system.

02:17:07.000 I've had people that without question.

02:17:10.000 I have people without question that I've gotten into disagreements with in person.

02:17:16.000 People that I know, not strangers.

02:17:18.000 I've gotten into disagreements in person.

02:17:22.000 And they're very quick to sort of tap out of it for whatever reason, whatever.

02:17:27.000 And then I will get these novel-esque texts from them.

02:17:34.000 Oh, where they tell you how they were right.

02:17:35.000 Explaining everything and breaking it down and perfect.

02:17:39.000 It's so passive-aggressive.

02:17:40.000 But every part of it is perfect.

02:17:42.000 And I'm like, you fucking fed this to ChatGPT.

02:17:45.000 And now I can.

02:17:46.000 And you're trying to win a conversation when you're not even there.

02:17:48.000 And by the way, now I got to read for 20 minutes on your terms?

02:17:51.000 Like, come on, man.

02:17:52.000 come on.

02:17:53.000 That's a whole other part of it to me that's like...

02:17:56.000 Yeah, what the fuck?

02:17:57.000 A contribution to our interactions as people that is just going to be a whole...

02:18:03.000 There's a lot of facets to this.

02:18:05.000 Well, it's very limited in the fact that you have to read it and then you have to send it.

02:18:08.000 You know, it's like text.

02:18:09.000 It's back and forth.

02:18:11.000 When it starts flowingly communicating with you with zero pause like a human being, which it's pretty close to doing, there's like you ask it a question with your voice, it pauses, and then it'll repeat it back to you.

02:18:25.000 And a bunch of different accents, a bunch of different fake voices.

02:18:30.000 There's a bunch of different AIs that can do that now.

02:18:32.000 Well, where I was at earlier today, WasteWell, they have an alien that you ask the alien questions, and it gives you health information.

02:18:40.000 It'll tell you studies on testosterone replacement and why it's important to take magnesium.

02:18:45.000 And the alien is like animated.

02:18:48.000 I'm with WasteWell too.

02:18:49.000 Oh, there you go.

02:18:50.000 You've seen that alien.

02:18:51.000 I've been to the place, but I don't think they have the alien set up.

02:18:55.000 I went the day they opened their new spot.

02:18:57.000 So they were still kind of putting everything together.

02:19:00.000 I went in to get an IV and they were literally carrying shit in still.

02:19:02.000 So I haven't seen the alien yet.

02:19:04.000 Yeah, the alien's up now.

02:19:05.000 It's a big screen, and you talk to the alien.

02:19:07.000 And it can go unhinged.

02:19:09.000 Like, you could put it in unhinged mode and start swearing and saying wild shit.

02:19:13.000 Oh, really?

02:19:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:19:14.000 Dude, it's just a matter of time before we're living in ex-Makada.

02:19:14.000 All right, that's fun.

02:19:18.000 It's a matter of time.

02:19:19.000 And not that much time either.

02:19:21.000 I think China is going to be the first. 0.87

02:19:24.000 They're so far ahead of us with so many different things.

02:19:28.000 So far ahead of us with electric cars.

02:19:30.000 First of all, their automobile production is insane.

02:19:35.000 Ford went over there and one of the guys from Ford came back and he said it was like humiliating to see how advanced these Chinese car manufacturers are. 0.59

02:19:45.000 And they all incorporate already with AI.

02:19:48.000 So they come like from the factory with AI integration built into them.

02:19:53.000 But no American manufacturers have figured out how to do that yet.

02:19:56.000 What's the right deal?

02:19:57.000 Who makes it?

02:19:58.000 You know, in China, everything is controlled by China.

02:20:01.000 The fucking CCP runs everything.

02:20:03.000 Everything runs through the government.

02:20:05.000 And so they have like this cross integration of the best tech.

02:20:11.000 They're putting it all to work and making the best fucking cars on earth.

02:20:14.000 Their cars went from being like no one even mentioned Chinese cars 20 years ago.

02:20:20.000 Do you understand like how crazy that is, the shift of technology?

02:20:23.000 Literally no one used to mention Chinese cars.

02:20:26.000 Japanese cars were huge.

02:20:28.000 Japanese cars forever have been some of the most prized cars because they made like the Nissan Skyline, the GTR, the Toyota Supras, and all these crazy sports cars, the Acura NSX.

02:20:41.000 Japan made something, but not China.

02:20:43.000 And now all of a sudden, out of nowhere, China has the most sophisticated cars in the world.

02:20:47.000 What's the leading car brand in China?

02:20:50.000 I don't know, but their factory, I forget the name of the company, their factory is bigger than San Francisco.

02:20:55.000 Jesus Christ.

02:20:56.000 If you see the fact when you fly over the factory, the footage of the factory, like you see how big it is, you're like, holy shit.

02:21:03.000 Yeah.

02:21:03.000 China's wild.

02:21:04.000 You've been to Shanghai?

02:21:05.000 I've never been.

02:21:06.000 No, I've been to China a couple times now to do comedy.

02:21:09.000 Whoa.

02:21:10.000 Just be careful, bro.

02:21:11.000 Brother, I'm not kidding.

02:21:13.000 I was on stage, and I was doing a show for mostly Americans that had moved over there.

02:21:17.000 But I was on stage.

02:21:20.000 I did a joke about cocaine, and the whole crowd, they were laughing, but they were going like, they were being like, be careful, buddy.

02:21:27.000 Be careful.

02:21:28.000 I was like, a week after I left, not because of me, not a week after, six months after I left, not because of me.

02:21:34.000 It was a series where they brought comics over.

02:21:37.000 The government shut down the comedy club.

02:21:40.000 Wild, wild.

02:21:42.000 But you drive, so it's a weird juxtaposition of things there because their technology, they're so advanced in so many ways, but then the society is completely cuffed, right?

02:21:54.000 Right.

02:21:55.000 But Shanghai, dude, when you drive into Shanghai at night, you drive over the longest bridge, I think, on earth that goes over water.

02:22:03.000 It's a nutty bridge.

02:22:04.000 It's wild.

02:22:05.000 You drive into that city at night, it looks like fucking Blade Runner, dude.

02:22:10.000 It looks like fucking Blade Runner.

02:22:12.000 I'm not exaggerating.

02:22:13.000 It is the most majestic city I've ever seen in my life.

02:22:16.000 And you're driving in at night, and it's this city that looks like it's in like the sea because there's so much water.

02:22:21.000 Pull up Shanghai at night.

02:22:23.000 I need to see it.

02:22:24.000 Oh, look at this shit, dude.

02:22:27.000 Look at this.

02:22:28.000 Oh.

02:22:30.000 Oh, my God.

02:22:31.000 Look how lit up the bridge is.

02:22:33.000 Yeah, dude.

02:22:34.000 Let alone is pretty sick.

02:22:35.000 That's crazy.

02:22:36.000 That's pretty sick.

02:22:38.000 It is crazy, dude.

02:22:40.000 Look at that bridge.

02:22:41.000 That fucking bridge is so long.

02:22:43.000 That's crazy.

02:22:43.000 Yeah.

02:22:45.000 And that's not even the part I was talking about.

02:22:47.000 There's a part when you're coming from the airport where you're like really coming in over the water and you can see the city from afar.

02:22:57.000 I would have no idea even how to search for it.

02:23:00.000 Also, probably no crime.

02:23:02.000 No, zero crime.

02:23:04.000 Right.

02:23:04.000 Probably squeaky clean, because if you litter, they'll fucking kill you.

02:23:10.000 My buddy that brought me over there, who was producing the comedy shows.

02:23:14.000 Look how pretty that is.

02:23:15.000 He told me, he said, you know how little crime there is here?

02:23:20.000 He goes, you could literally leave your wallet filled with cash on a bar top and leave the bar for two hours and come back.

02:23:27.000 Your wallet will still be sitting there.

02:23:28.000 That's how scared everybody is to commit crime because they'll jump out of a fucking van and throw a hood over your head.

02:23:33.000 And you go in, no phone call.

02:23:35.000 Dude, people go to jail in China for little shit, bar fight, whatever.

02:23:38.000 You get arrested.

02:23:39.000 People think they're dead because nobody knows where they are for 30 days.

02:23:44.000 Because they're in jail and you don't get a phone call.

02:23:46.000 That's fucking wild.

02:23:48.000 So my question is, China's advancing with AI beyond where we are.

02:23:53.000 I wonder how they're going to keep it out of the public's hands because they are not okay with the public having any access to anything else.

02:24:00.000 Well, I think it's also similar to the internet, right?

02:24:03.000 So they lock down the internet in China.

02:24:06.000 You can't get outside internet unless you have some crazy way of doing it, and you can get in real trouble if you do it.

02:24:13.000 You really get fucked.

02:24:16.000 But other places where they develop the internet, like in America, I think if the government and intelligence agencies knew the impact, just the way it changed elections, just the way it changed people's ability to process propaganda and know what's real and not real, it changed everything.

02:24:33.000 It changed public perception of mainstream media and newspapers and outlets and journals.

02:24:38.000 And we started to realize, like, no, they've been lying forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

02:24:43.000 They never told the truth.

02:24:44.000 Never.

02:24:45.000 Everything was some sort of a distortion.

02:24:46.000 Everything was some sort of a narrative that they created from the fucking beginning of time.

02:24:51.000 If they knew that that was going to be the result of it, I bet they would have nipped that shit in the butt in the early 90s.

02:24:56.000 I bet they would have locked it down to like academic research and military application and United States government.

02:25:03.000 They probably would have said, this is too scary.

02:25:06.000 They had a time machine and they could see what the internet was going to do.

02:25:09.000 They probably would have never let it go live.

02:25:12.000 I think they never had an idea that this was going to happen.

02:25:15.000 I think that's real similar to AI.

02:25:17.000 I mean, we learned about, I don't know if they still teach it, but we learned about when I was a kid, we learned about yellow journalism and William Randolph Hearst, the biggest newspaper tycoon that ever lived up until a certain point.

02:25:31.000 And it just makes me laugh that there are still people that actually know about all that and then still think corporate news is like, oh, no, no, it's real.

02:25:38.000 It's like, guys, this is literally history repeating.

02:25:41.000 Literally.

02:25:42.000 It's those people that still buy the New York Times in physical form.

02:25:45.000 They want to go to the diner and drink coffee and read what the opinion piece is.

02:25:50.000 You know, and that's how they form their opinions.

02:25:53.000 And it's like, the problem is if you get indoctrinated into that world, you know, like I used to deliver the New York Times when I was a kid.

02:25:59.000 And I delivered the New York Times only because it was prestigious.

02:26:04.000 And I thought it made me cooler to have a New York Times route.

02:26:08.000 So I had a Boston Globe route.

02:26:09.000 I had a Boston Herald route.

02:26:11.000 And I had a few houses that I would do, like maybe 100 that were New York Times.

02:26:16.000 And the New York Times is a giant pain in the ass because you had to drive all over.

02:26:19.000 It wasn't like their next-door neighbors were getting it.

02:26:22.000 You would drop one paper off.

02:26:23.000 You might have to go five, six blocks to where the next guy is where you could drop the second paper off.

02:26:28.000 That's how important the New York Times was to people.

02:26:31.000 It was like the New York Times was not to be questioned.

02:26:34.000 Like that was what the real news is.

02:26:37.000 There's nothing like that anymore.

02:26:38.000 Nothing.

02:26:39.000 No one has any, unless you're from that era, unless you're still alive, like you're a 70-year-old guy.

02:26:45.000 What the fuck are they doing?

02:26:47.000 Looking at this goddamn world.

02:26:49.000 Don't you understand?

02:26:50.000 This is getting all riled up in your living room, like yelling into the abyss.

02:26:55.000 Most people don't trust them anymore.

02:26:57.000 Well, that's why you also have YouTubers running circles around career journalists.

02:27:01.000 I'm just like, this is, you know what I mean?

02:27:01.000 Yeah.

02:27:04.000 I was laughing with Tim Tillon about it.

02:27:06.000 I'm like, Tim, I'm watching you run circles around guys that were career journalists.

02:27:10.000 Yeah, but he's a unique talent.

02:27:12.000 Tim is a unique talent.

02:27:13.000 He's amazing.

02:27:14.000 He's unique in that he is a brilliant guy who started off his career selling subprime mortgages.

02:27:22.000 Yeah.

02:27:23.000 You know, and then was a crazy drug addict and realized I can't do this anymore.

02:27:27.000 Quit drugs, started doing stand-up comedy, and then became the best ranter in the business.

02:27:33.000 No one is better.

02:27:34.000 He puts on those fucking crazy glasses and he becomes like a totally different human being.

02:27:39.000 And he can say the most preposterous shit.

02:27:42.000 And you can't take it seriously because he's got those glasses on.

02:27:46.000 It's like Elton John.

02:27:48.000 Like, it's genius.

02:27:50.000 He's opposite Superman.

02:27:52.000 He puts the glasses on and becomes the superhero.

02:27:56.000 He was always great before the glasses, but there's something about the glasses era Tim Dylan that is the greatest Tim Dylan.

02:28:02.000 He's such a brilliant guy.

02:28:04.000 And I told him recently, I go, Tim, you're literally arguably my primary information source at this point.

02:28:13.000 Like, I listen to you.

02:28:14.000 You have a balanced opinion.

02:28:16.000 You have facts.

02:28:17.000 You're red. 0.53

02:28:18.000 I learned from listening to you.

02:28:20.000 And I know I should probably have other sources, but I learned from him.

02:28:24.000 I think he's brilliant.

02:28:25.000 I really do.

02:28:25.000 When CNN interviewed him, when that lady interviewed him, that was so amazing.

02:28:31.000 It was so amazing.

02:28:32.000 It was like watching a small child try to grapple with Hoyce Gracie.

02:28:41.000 You know what I mean?

02:28:42.000 That's what it was like.

02:28:43.000 It was like, oh, I see what you're doing here.

02:28:45.000 This is crazy.

02:28:45.000 You can't do that.

02:28:47.000 Why would you do that?

02:28:48.000 And to his credit, to his credit, kind, fully charming through the whole thing.

02:28:54.000 Never once was he like, oh, give me a fucking Britain.

02:28:57.000 No.

02:28:58.000 Just like, well, no, that's not what it is.

02:29:01.000 When they started talking about you and he goes, do you think Joe is texting me right now because I'm doing this and he's mad?

02:29:09.000 It was so funny, man.

02:29:10.000 She was told, she said, that some comedian said that if they got interviewed by CNN, that I wouldn't let them work my club.

02:29:18.000 How crazy that is.

02:29:20.000 What?

02:29:20.000 How crazy.

02:29:21.000 They were worried.

02:29:23.000 They were worried that I would be upset.

02:29:25.000 I think that was what her wording was.

02:29:27.000 Oh, I want to know who that is.

02:29:29.000 I don't think it's real.

02:29:30.000 It's probably someone who didn't want to do the thing and said that was their excuse.

02:29:35.000 I can't do it because if I do it, Rogue going to get mad at me.

02:29:38.000 Because why would I care?

02:29:40.000 I couldn't care less.

02:29:42.000 It's so fucking insane.

02:29:43.000 It's so dumb.

02:29:44.000 I mean, I thought it's perfect when a guy like Tim gets interviewed by CNN.

02:29:49.000 It's perfect because you get to see the difference.

02:29:52.000 This is a person who's actually thinking for themselves versus a person who's commenting on something that they don't really understand and not doing it in a way where you're asking questions.

02:30:00.000 Really, you're sort of making you already have a vision of what it is in your head and you're trying to get him to confirm that vision.

02:30:11.000 But you don't really know what you're talking about.

02:30:13.000 And your version of it is like weird.

02:30:15.000 It's like it's alt-right.

02:30:17.000 It's like the manosphere.

02:30:19.000 It's like, none of those things are real.

02:30:21.000 Like, this is so stupid.

02:30:24.000 Your version of this is so stupid.

02:30:26.000 Yeah, I happen to be a man.

02:30:27.000 That's where it ends.

02:30:29.000 It's so wild.

02:30:30.000 And with what you're saying with like Tim being interviewed on CNN is great.

02:30:35.000 It truly is because, guys, this is what we, my favorite thing, one of my favorite pieces of news history ever to watch are the Buckley-Gorvidal debate.

02:30:48.000 Yes, yes.

02:30:50.000 And then also the Nixon, the Frost-Nixon debate conversations, whatever you want to call them.

02:30:56.000 Two people with polar opposite beliefs, extraordinarily well-read, extraordinarily prepared, talking for the most part calmly.

02:31:05.000 There's the part in the Buckley thing.

02:31:07.000 Yeah, Buckley gets a little crazy.

02:31:09.000 Does he say, I'll punch your goddamn face off?

02:31:13.000 You'll stay socked or something like that.

02:31:17.000 I forget what he said to him, but it was so dumb.

02:31:19.000 It was like super awkward.

02:31:21.000 Like he lost his cool, and it was also dumb.

02:31:25.000 Gorvadal calls him a Nazi, and then I think William F. Buckley says, if you call me a Nazi again, you little queer, I'm going to punch your goddamn mouth off or something like that.

02:31:33.000 Something dumber than that.

02:31:35.000 You're going to stay socked or something like that. 0.52

02:31:38.000 I'll suck you in your mouth and you'll stay socked. 1.00

02:31:41.000 Like something like corny like that.

02:31:44.000 There's a great, I don't remember the documentary name.

02:31:48.000 What's the documentary name, Jamie?

02:31:50.000 Best of Enemies.

02:31:51.000 That's exactly what I'm talking about.

02:31:53.000 It's really good.

02:31:54.000 Because what happened was they essentially had a podcast.

02:31:57.000 They turned TV into YouTube and it was huge.

02:32:00.000 And they figured it out back then.

02:32:02.000 And they could never replicate it.

02:32:04.000 It's fucking great, man, when Hitchens, Christopher Hitchens, started to lean a little more conservative towards the end of his life than he had previously been.

02:32:16.000 The interviews with him when he went on Marr, when Marr was more traditionally current liberal, whatever you want to call it, than he is now.

02:32:24.000 But seeing him and Marr sit and talk about the W. Bush-Iraq war.

02:32:30.000 Yeah.

02:32:30.000 And there's a great Hitchens moment where he says something in support of the war, and the crowd booze, and Hitchens turns and gives the crowd the finger, and he goes, ah, you fucking sheep.

02:32:44.000 But like even seeing an Ann Coulter going on Bill Maher and the two of them talking and not agreeing, but being very well prepared from both sides.

02:32:55.000 There's so little of that anymore, man.

02:32:57.000 Well, Maher still does it on his show.

02:33:00.000 But other than that, yeah.

02:33:02.000 I mean, CNN is doing a version of it now with Scott Jennings.

02:33:05.000 Like Scott Jennings goes on CNN.

02:33:07.000 But the people that they have opposing them, no disrespect.

02:33:11.000 A lot of them are just not people that you would take seriously.

02:33:15.000 You listen to their opinions.

02:33:17.000 They're so caught up in this ideology that they're proposing that they're so committed to it that they're not necessarily making logical sense.

02:33:28.000 And that becomes a problem.

02:33:29.000 And then they distort reality to fit their argument.

02:33:33.000 And Scott points that stuff out all the time.

02:33:35.000 So they do have a version of that on CNN, but it's like it's not clever, right?

02:33:41.000 It's like what you really would, first of all, you have too many voices.

02:33:45.000 This is my opinion.

02:33:46.000 You don't have to listen to me.

02:33:47.000 If you have five fucking people talking, the problem is none of them are going to, you're not going to get the ultimately what they're capable of.

02:33:57.000 Right.

02:33:58.000 Because they're going to be tripping over each other.

02:34:00.000 Like even you and me talking.

02:34:02.000 Like I might talk too much and you have a thing that you want to say and you can't jump in.

02:34:06.000 But if there's four more fucking people in the room, good luck.

02:34:10.000 So then everybody interrupts and everybody talks in like this rude way and everybody's playing gotcha.

02:34:16.000 It's protect our parks.

02:34:18.000 They're doing protect our parks.

02:34:19.000 Let's see that the fun.

02:34:21.000 Without the fucking beer bon and Leonard Skinner songs.

02:34:27.000 No, but I used to love doing, and this was a heavy-loaded show, but I used to really love doing Red Eye on Fox, which was Guttfeld's first show.

02:34:40.000 And it was on at 2 a.m., so few people saw it, but there were three hosts.

02:34:45.000 Guttfeld, who was the most conservative, but not full-on conservative.

02:34:50.000 Bill Schultz, who was the most liberal, but not full-on liberal.

02:34:54.000 And Andy Levy, who was the most sort of in between the two.

02:34:59.000 And it was great because you would hear something get hit from three different angles.

02:35:04.000 And it made for a great discussion.

02:35:07.000 And the show was meant to be funny, so it was always very light, but the subject matter was real.

02:35:13.000 But I was just like, man, even something like that, it's just so hard to find anymore.

02:35:19.000 I like Stewart's perspective most of the time.

02:35:23.000 Like Jon Stewart's.

02:35:24.000 Oh, he's the best.

02:35:25.000 Yeah.

02:35:25.000 He's the best at that kind of a show.

02:35:28.000 He's also the funniest.

02:35:29.000 Like, he's the best at making things hilarious.

02:35:32.000 Yeah.

02:35:33.000 He's really good at it.

02:35:34.000 It's not easy to do.

02:35:36.000 Desk comedy, as they call it, is not.

02:35:38.000 Yeah, he's the best at it.

02:35:39.000 But also, it's like that's sort of he's been doing like when it comes to like political desk comedy, who defined it more than him on the daily show?

02:35:50.000 And then when he came back to doing it like once a week, that once a week must have so many more viewers than the rest of the week.

02:35:56.000 Yeah, he's that I remember watching that first episode back and I was like, holy.

02:36:02.000 What's it even on now?

02:36:03.000 Comedy Central.

02:36:05.000 what is Comedy Central on, though?

02:36:06.000 Is it on regular TV?

02:36:08.000 Does it still exist?

02:36:09.000 Yeah, people.

02:36:09.000 That's a great question.

02:36:10.000 I think it's like a lot of it is like apps now, though, right?

02:36:13.000 Well, Comedy.

02:36:14.000 Yeah, no, Comedy Central.

02:36:16.000 You know what a lot of it is?

02:36:17.000 Is like Sling TV, like the cable apps you can buy.

02:36:23.000 Where it's like Sling TV will be, you know, is an app, and it's like, if you pay 30 bucks a month, you get 60 channels.

02:36:29.000 If you pay 60, you get 180, whatever the hell it is.

02:36:32.000 And it works, it's cable TV, but it's streamed, so it's not cable literally.

02:36:38.000 But you can curate a little more what kind of channels you're getting, and then it also has on-demand features and whatever.

02:36:44.000 But I think that's how most people, you know, YouTube has a version of that.

02:36:48.000 And I think Hulu might.

02:36:50.000 That's how most people watch their, quote, cable television now.

02:36:54.000 I think how much of it gets just streamed on YouTube.

02:36:57.000 Well, this is the thing that someone was saying about Colbert.

02:37:02.000 You know, Colbert getting fired.

02:37:04.000 Someone was saying, like, I think television networks have to come to grips with the fact that these late-night talk show hosts are basically just YouTubers now.

02:37:04.000 Right.

02:37:14.000 Because the reality is the people that are going to see it, the people that are really going to see it, they're going to see it on YouTube.

02:37:20.000 That's going to be a far larger audience than anywhere else.

02:37:23.000 Especially if it's like a celebrity, you know, you're interviewing Scarlett Johansson in a clip or a clip, you know, some athlete.

02:37:30.000 Those get way more views than the actual show itself.

02:37:34.000 So essentially, you've become a YouTuber.

02:37:36.000 Well, dude, when I, this was years ago, when I first started doing some stuff with Comedy Central, I got this deal with them to do web shorts.

02:37:52.000 And they gave you X amount of dollars, and they're like, deliver five episodes of some kind of web thing.

02:37:58.000 Oh, like Quibi?

02:37:59.000 Yeah, kind of, but shorter and cheaper, right?

02:38:02.000 And my first question was, well, where are you going to put them?

02:38:06.000 We've got to get them on YouTube because this is pre-YouTube channels.

02:38:11.000 But it was obvious YouTube is the thing.

02:38:13.000 And they said, we can't.

02:38:14.000 Viacom has a thing with YouTube.

02:38:16.000 We cannot put any content of ours on YouTube.

02:38:20.000 Now, you can watch the entire episode of The Daily Show cut up into five segments on YouTube.

02:38:26.000 Of course.

02:38:27.000 So they just, you know, you have to hop on board.

02:38:30.000 YouTube is a runaway train.

02:38:32.000 Like, you can't pretend you can exist outside of it.

02:38:34.000 You just can't.

02:38:35.000 You can on Netflix.

02:38:35.000 Yeah.

02:38:37.000 Like, there's Netflix and YouTube is above Netflix.

02:38:39.000 YouTube is even bigger than Netflix because it's free.

02:38:43.000 There's just too many people watching it.

02:38:45.000 I use the app on my television, on like Apple TV.

02:38:49.000 I use that app every night.

02:38:50.000 I'm always watching things.

02:38:52.000 I watch YouTube more than anything.

02:38:54.000 You learn so much shit.

02:38:54.000 Yeah.

02:38:56.000 There's so many interesting things.

02:38:58.000 Like if you curate a really good, like if you have a bunch of subjects that you're really interested in, you could find more, like for me, I'm a giant fan of ancient history.

02:39:12.000 Huge fan of like either unexplained things or things that they can explain.

02:39:20.000 And you realize like how clever these people had to be.

02:39:22.000 Like I was, I wanted to bring this up to you, Jamie, because I made a screenshot of this because it looks completely insane.

02:39:29.000 This was some device, a lockbox that they built in Iran 800 years ago. 0.99

02:39:39.000 And this thing is like so fucking complicated.

02:39:43.000 Like a lockbox being like what you'd put your keys in these days outside your building.

02:39:47.000 But it's like, no, it's like a combination box that had like 800 different potential combinations.

02:39:53.000 I know I saved it.

02:39:55.000 God damn it.

02:39:56.000 You got it?

02:39:57.000 That's it, dog.

02:39:58.000 Thank you.

02:39:58.000 800 years ago, someone built a lockbox with 4 billion possible combinations.

02:40:04.000 That's insane.

02:40:05.000 4 billion.

02:40:06.000 That's insane.

02:40:07.000 Somebody made that 800 years ago.

02:40:09.000 That's insane.

02:40:10.000 What?

02:40:11.000 That's insane.

02:40:12.000 What fuck are you talking about?

02:40:14.000 Is the devil's dick inside of that thing?

02:40:16.000 What's in that thing?

02:40:17.000 Why was this not in the last Indiana Jones movie?

02:40:20.000 That's a horror movie.

02:40:21.000 That's a horror movie.

02:40:22.000 You open it up and the devil comes out.

02:40:24.000 It's the fucking Hellraiser box.

02:40:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:40:26.000 You solve the puzzle and what's exactly.

02:40:30.000 Bro, that's a good one, right?

02:40:32.000 Hellraiser?

02:40:33.000 Oh, especially the original.

02:40:35.000 Here's one that people don't bring up that's really good.

02:40:35.000 Oh, yeah.

02:40:38.000 Give it to me.

02:40:39.000 Dark City.

02:40:40.000 I love Dark City.

02:40:41.000 Dark City was good, dude.

02:40:42.000 That was a weird movie.

02:40:44.000 Creepy.

02:40:45.000 Creepy.

02:40:45.000 Kiefer Sutherland.

02:40:46.000 Yeah.

02:40:48.000 And the big, tall, creepy alien dude.

02:40:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:40:51.000 And it looks like it almost aesthetically looks a little bit like Alien.

02:40:55.000 Like the suits they're all in.

02:40:57.000 It's very HR.

02:40:58.000 I wonder if it was H.R. Gieger who did the designs, but it's very H.R. Gieger who, you know, he did Alien.

02:41:03.000 Yep, yep.

02:41:04.000 Did he do The Predator?

02:41:05.000 Did Geeker do The Predator?

02:41:07.000 I love Predator.

02:41:08.000 You know what?

02:41:09.000 The first one's okay.

02:41:10.000 The first one's my favorite action movie ever.

02:41:12.000 There's so many Predator movies.

02:41:14.000 It's like they became Fast and the Furious.

02:41:17.000 You can't keep up.

02:41:18.000 No.

02:41:19.000 There's a new Predator movie?

02:41:20.000 Prequel.

02:41:21.000 Yeah.

02:41:22.000 It's called Badlands.

02:41:22.000 Oh, boy.

02:41:24.000 Remember to steal their head and their spinal column? 0.76

02:41:27.000 Yeah.

02:41:28.000 I was laughing with Metzger about the new one because it's another one where they go to the Predator planet.

02:41:32.000 And I go, Kurt.

02:41:34.000 I go, Kurt, when you watch To Catch a Predator, you don't want to see him at home.

02:41:39.000 You want to see this guy in the field.

02:41:41.000 You like Prey, though, Joe, right?

02:41:42.000 Yeah, Prey was a good player.

02:41:43.000 Prey was good.

02:41:44.000 Same director.

02:41:44.000 Yes.

02:41:45.000 What is this?

02:41:45.000 This is the new one.

02:41:46.000 This is like there's some bot that helps the predator train on the new planet.

02:41:52.000 The robot she plays is one of the androids from Alien.

02:41:57.000 It's the same.

02:41:58.000 So they're crossing the universes again, yeah.

02:42:01.000 Oh, how weird.

02:42:02.000 He's out here training, and she's helping him.

02:42:04.000 You can watch the trailer yourself.

02:42:05.000 Yeah, they go to like a hunter's planet, and then she and the predator align.

02:42:10.000 I don't know.

02:42:11.000 It looks better than a lot of the other sequels.

02:42:13.000 Prey was good.

02:42:14.000 Prey was good.

02:42:15.000 Yeah, that was an interesting way to do it.

02:42:16.000 Yeah.

02:42:17.000 Because it was Predator 1 all over again.

02:42:19.000 Predator and the Comanches.

02:42:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:42:21.000 Prey was great, you know?

02:42:23.000 That would be so disappointing, though, if aliens came here just to hunt us.

02:42:26.000 Like, really, guys?

02:42:29.000 How about help?

02:42:30.000 How about help us reach your level of technological achievement.

02:42:37.000 The first movie is.

02:42:38.000 Wait, wow, wait, you were.

02:42:40.000 Oh, shit.

02:42:41.000 Oh, wait, you said Hellraiser.

02:42:43.000 Yeah.

02:42:44.000 I was saying this earlier.

02:42:45.000 That's why I love Event Horizon because to me, it's Hellraiser in Space.

02:42:49.000 Right.

02:42:50.000 Yep.

02:42:50.000 They open.

02:42:51.000 Yeah.

02:42:52.000 And I love, I was thinking of this too.

02:42:54.000 I love that Event Horizon describes hell as a dimension.

02:42:59.000 It's not like, no, it's this biblical thing and it's beneath the ground and whatever.

02:43:03.000 It's like, no, it's a dimension.

02:43:04.000 It's a portal.

02:43:06.000 You know, a lot of people think that's what's going on with aliens.

02:43:10.000 They think that this was the biblical depictions of heaven and hell and angels and fairies and all these different things from the Bible.

02:43:10.000 Right.

02:43:18.000 They think that this, what this, what they're really talking about is just aliens.

02:43:23.000 I don't doubt that.

02:43:25.000 And I think when we were talking earlier about hauntings and stuff like that, I always wonder if that's got to do with astrophysics.

02:43:32.000 You know how they'll say like dimensional, there'll be dimensional rifts with different realities that slip.

02:43:38.000 I always wonder, like, are ghosts just us getting a glimpse for a second at another dimension?

02:43:44.000 And we think it's a ghost because it's a very faint glimpse.

02:43:47.000 But it's really physics.

02:43:50.000 There's a scientific explanation theoretically.

02:43:52.000 Somewhere on the road.

02:43:54.000 With ghosts, a lot of times it's supposedly people die and they don't know they died and they're haunting a place.

02:43:58.000 Like what if the experience of death sometimes has a hiccup?

02:44:03.000 Like, you know, sometimes you get like a bad video artifact or you're watching a movie and it fucking jerks and gets weird and it comes back to normal again.

02:44:10.000 Like what if the code of life and death and reality itself is not perfect?

02:44:17.000 Right.

02:44:17.000 Every now and then there's a little glitch and something sneaks through.

02:44:20.000 Yeah.

02:44:21.000 And you get to see like, ah!

02:44:23.000 Some fucking pale dude who was chased by an axe murderer runs down the hallway.

02:44:28.000 Yeah.

02:44:28.000 Or it's, yeah, it's like, and then when people, when you talk about the simulation theory, if it is, sometimes you play a video game and there's a non-playable character and it's a glitch and they're all fucking like twitching in the corner.

02:44:41.000 You know what I mean?

02:44:41.000 You're like, that's not supposed to be there.

02:44:43.000 It's like a doll that's haunted, right?

02:44:44.000 That this guy was just transporting the doll and he just had a heart attack and died.

02:44:49.000 It's the Annabelle doll.

02:44:50.000 Yeah, the Annabelle doll.

02:44:51.000 Like, how many people have to die before you go, hey, maybe that fucking, I mean, how many, like, if you were a devil, a demon that you took over a doll and you possess this doll, and then you ruin people's lives, you don't ruin them every day.

02:44:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:45:13.000 You wait.

02:45:13.000 No.

02:45:14.000 You wait.

02:45:15.000 You give a little fucking reasonable suspicion, a little doubt.

02:45:18.000 Yeah.

02:45:19.000 Give people time to like, come on, guys.

02:45:22.000 There's no way it's the doll.

02:45:23.000 There's no way it's the doll.

02:45:25.000 Dahmer didn't murder every day.

02:45:27.000 Scary dolls.

02:45:28.000 Space is it up?

02:45:29.000 Chucky, when Chucky comes alive?

02:45:30.000 Chucky rules.

02:45:31.000 Chucky ruled.

02:45:32.000 Talk about a guy that stumbled into stumbled into a pile of shit.

02:45:35.000 Brad Duriff, The Voice.

02:45:37.000 Yeah, right?

02:45:37.000 30 years ago, they're like, you want to do this doll voice?

02:45:40.000 He's like, sure.

02:45:41.000 30 years later, he's like, I have six mansions from the doll.

02:45:45.000 That's hilarious.

02:45:46.000 But those movies are scary as fuck, man.

02:45:48.000 Like there was an early Twilight Zone, right?

02:45:51.000 Where the doll took over?

02:45:53.000 The guy had a puppet, and the puppets started taking over.

02:45:56.000 Well, okay, there's two.

02:45:57.000 Twilight Zone is my favorite TV show of all time.

02:46:00.000 One of the greatest shows of ever.

02:46:02.000 And by the way, how many different spectacular premises did they come up with?

02:46:07.000 It's incredible.

02:46:08.000 The show is incredible.

02:46:09.000 Rod Sterling is the greatest, in my opinion, television writer.

02:46:12.000 Yeah, that's the one.

02:46:13.000 They did two with Marionette, or with Puppets, I mean.

02:46:16.000 Oh, yeah.

02:46:17.000 Look at the other one up in the left corner.

02:46:19.000 And then they did one.

02:46:19.000 Yeah.

02:46:21.000 That's the better of the two.

02:46:23.000 This one here.

02:46:24.000 That one's fuck.

02:46:26.000 Caesar and me.

02:46:27.000 That one.

02:46:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:46:28.000 The dummy.

02:46:29.000 That's where he turns into the dummy at the end.

02:46:31.000 See the picture?

02:46:32.000 It's so creepy.

02:46:34.000 But then there's another one with a little girl where she gets a doll with Telly Savalis is her dad, and he's a dick, and the doll keeps telling Tele Savalis it's going to kill him.

02:46:44.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:46:44.000 The living doll.

02:46:45.000 That's what it's called.

02:46:48.000 He just figured out a way to make things so creepy.

02:46:51.000 I don't know.

02:46:52.000 Remember the one episode to serve man?

02:46:56.000 Yeah.

02:46:56.000 And the people realize at the end, oh my God, it's a cookbook.

02:46:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:47:00.000 Yeah, it's great.

02:47:01.000 Did you ever see The Obsolete Man?

02:47:02.000 Did you ever see that episode?

02:47:04.000 No, which one's that?

02:47:05.000 Burgess Meredith.

02:47:07.000 Oh, is that the one where the glasses break at the end of it?

02:47:10.000 No, that's a matter.

02:47:11.000 I think that's called a matter of time.

02:47:13.000 The obsolete man.

02:47:14.000 The obsolete man.

02:47:16.000 He's determined obsolete in a future dystopian society because he's a librarian.

02:47:23.000 And books have been banned.

02:47:26.000 And when you get determined obsolete, you get to choose your method of execution.

02:47:30.000 Oh, my God.

02:47:31.000 And that it be televised.

02:47:33.000 And then it goes from there.

02:47:34.000 And it is a fucking tour de force from Burgess Meredith, man.

02:47:38.000 Do you ever see a game of pool?

02:47:40.000 You're talking about pool halls.

02:47:41.000 Jonathan Winners.

02:47:42.000 Yeah.

02:47:43.000 And Jack Klugman.

02:47:44.000 Yeah.

02:47:44.000 Yes.

02:47:45.000 He wants to be the best.

02:47:46.000 And the curse is that he's the best and has to play everybody until the end of time until somebody can beat him.

02:47:51.000 So he has to wait in this pool hall when people come in.

02:47:54.000 Yeah.

02:47:55.000 Someone has to beat him before he can get to leave.

02:47:57.000 Oh, it's so good, dude.

02:47:58.000 It's so good.

02:47:59.000 I love them.

02:48:00.000 How about the one when William Schachner is like the little fortune-telling machine?

02:48:04.000 Yeah, Nick of Time, it's called.

02:48:06.000 And they become, they're like trapped by the machine.

02:48:06.000 Yeah.

02:48:09.000 They fucked up when they got rid of that ride.

02:48:13.000 So like in the Guardian of the Galaxy ride is fucking awesome.

02:48:17.000 It's really cool at Disneyland, but it used to be the Twilight Zone.

02:48:21.000 Tower of Terror.

02:48:22.000 Yeah, Tower of Terror was the Twilight Zone.

02:48:24.000 It was Rod Sterling.

02:48:26.000 That ride was awesome.

02:48:28.000 That ride was awesome.

02:48:29.000 It's still awesome.

02:48:30.000 Guardians of the Galaxy, it is awesome.

02:48:33.000 But I know what it used to be.

02:48:34.000 Like, why'd you do that?

02:48:35.000 Why didn't you just make a new Guardian of the Galaxy ride?

02:48:37.000 But wait, is the Guardian...

02:48:41.000 Oh, it is?

02:48:41.000 That is.

02:48:42.000 Tower of Terror.

02:48:42.000 Yeah.

02:48:43.000 It's Tower of Terror.

02:48:44.000 It's the Guardians of the Galaxy ride now.

02:48:46.000 So what happens now when you go in?

02:48:50.000 There's a bunch of shit going on.

02:48:52.000 You watch these scenes.

02:48:53.000 You get freaked out.

02:48:55.000 Yeah.

02:48:56.000 You watch Chris Pratt.

02:48:57.000 Like, for real.

02:48:58.000 That's what happens.

02:49:00.000 It's like they incorporated Guardians of the Galaxy into an already amazing ride.

02:49:04.000 Like, they didn't have to do that.

02:49:05.000 I kind of love the classic one, but I guess it's like a money-saving thing.

02:49:09.000 But also, too, the free fall makes sense with the Twilight Zone.

02:49:12.000 I know.

02:49:12.000 It doesn't make sense with Guardians of the Galaxy.

02:49:14.000 No, it doesn't.

02:49:17.000 It doesn't make any sense.

02:49:19.000 The greatest thing they did at Disneyland, though, is the Star Wars stuff.

02:49:22.000 The Star Wars ride is fucking crazy.

02:49:25.000 I still haven't seen it.

02:49:26.000 It's so cool.

02:49:27.000 It's awesome.

02:49:28.000 It's so cool.

02:49:28.000 Yeah, you're in a vehicle and you're moving around on tracks and a bunch of shit is happening and which, by the way, lasers somehow or another are more advanced than bullets.

02:49:38.000 Yet you can see them coming.

02:49:40.000 You can fucking duck out of the way of them.

02:49:42.000 They're the dumbest weapon of all time.

02:49:43.000 Like bullets are way faster than these stupid lasers.

02:49:47.000 You can literally see them.

02:49:48.000 Choo-choo-choo! 0.99

02:49:48.000 Choo-choo! 0.99

02:49:49.000 People like running away.

02:49:50.000 You know what I mean?

02:49:51.000 Darth Vader's like knocking them away with a sword.

02:49:53.000 Like imagine if you did that with bullets.

02:49:55.000 You'd be like, shut up.

02:49:56.000 How have you seen those bullets?

02:49:57.000 Well, we just laser blasts are slow as fuck.

02:50:00.000 Not even the speed of light.

02:50:02.000 They're dumb.

02:50:03.000 The movie would suck.

02:50:05.000 It's more fun to see them.

02:50:06.000 But imagine they made light, not the speed of light.

02:50:09.000 Like, what?

02:50:11.000 Why'd you do that?

02:50:13.000 God damn, you might have just ruined Star Wars for me.

02:50:15.000 It's dumb.

02:50:16.000 There's a lot of dumb shit in Star Wars, but it's like, it's fun.

02:50:20.000 They only closed the Tower of Terra to California one.

02:50:23.000 I think it's still opening in Florida, and maybe there's a version also in Paris.

02:50:27.000 Oh, so Disney World, that's right.

02:50:30.000 But the Disney World one, no disrespect, not as good.

02:50:33.000 I did that one.

02:50:34.000 It's not quite as crazy.

02:50:36.000 I think I've only been on the Disney World one.

02:50:38.000 Disney World has the best ride in the world, though.

02:50:40.000 The Avatar ride.

02:50:42.000 I never did it.

02:50:43.000 What's it called?

02:50:44.000 Flights of Passage?

02:50:45.000 Flights of Passage.

02:50:46.000 It's a VR game.

02:50:47.000 You get on a motorcycle and you put the fucking helmet on and it sinks you up to the dragon and you're flying on top of the dragon.

02:50:54.000 Dude.

02:50:55.000 Dude.

02:50:55.000 That's cool.

02:50:57.000 Dude.

02:50:58.000 It's the shit.

02:50:59.000 It's the shit.

02:50:59.000 That's cool.

02:51:00.000 That's cool.

02:51:00.000 I'll tell you the best ride I was ever on is the Spider-Man ride at Universal Studios.

02:51:07.000 That's a great ride.

02:51:08.000 That's a great ride.

02:51:09.000 Dude, when he jumps onto your car, when your car falls off the skyscraper and it gets caught by the web, that ride's fucking sick.

02:51:18.000 That ride is nuts.

02:51:20.000 Universal's got some banger rides.

02:51:22.000 Oh, yeah.

02:51:22.000 Did you ever go to Halloween horror nights?

02:51:24.000 Oh, yeah.

02:51:25.000 Scary as shit.

02:51:25.000 For sure.

02:51:27.000 Yeah.

02:51:28.000 Those haunted houses are scary as shit.

02:51:30.000 They did one with Walking Dead.

02:51:32.000 They had a Walking Dead house.

02:51:33.000 It was fucking terrible.

02:51:34.000 They had real actors in there.

02:51:36.000 There's a new permanent one in Vegas opening.

02:51:38.000 If it's not open already, it's opening very soon.

02:51:40.000 Like, it's just open all year round.

02:51:42.000 They had the greatest.

02:51:43.000 Hollywood horror nights.

02:51:44.000 They had the greatest fucking scare at Halloween horror nights that I've ever experienced in a haunted house.

02:51:50.000 It was the Exorcist House or whatever you want to call it.

02:51:54.000 And you went through and you had to walk through Reagan's bedroom.

02:51:59.000 And there's this fucking doll on the bed and its head is spinning around. 0.68

02:52:03.000 And there's these animatronic priests hitting it with fucking holy.

02:52:08.000 The scene was so fucking scary because you're so close to it, even though you knew it was robots.

02:52:13.000 And everybody's screaming and shit.

02:52:15.000 And then you keep going through the maze and they circle you back.

02:52:19.000 And everybody is like, I don't want to go through that fucking room again, but they're going to make us.

02:52:24.000 And you go through the room again and you're like, all right, all right, all right, all right.

02:52:27.000 And then all of a sudden, Reagan jumps off the bed because they replaced the robot with a real person and you didn't know.

02:52:34.000 And dude.

02:52:39.000 Like, dude, it is the most scared I ever was in my life.

02:52:43.000 Dude, people have to see that movie in the context of what the time was like when it was released.

02:52:48.000 Yeah.

02:52:49.000 That's, that's, I remember when I was a kid, people were absolutely terrified of that movie.

02:52:55.000 Like, more so than any movie I think of all time.

02:52:57.000 Because other movies were horror movies, but they didn't deal with something that people actually believed could be true, which is like demonic possession.

02:53:06.000 Yeah.

02:53:07.000 Imagine if you were a fucking priest and, you know, they trained you how to do exorcists, like a bunch of fucking schizophrenics off their meds, you know?

02:53:18.000 Yeah.

02:53:18.000 Fine.

02:53:18.000 Yeah.

02:53:19.000 And then one day, one day, you go to do one and it's a real one.

02:53:24.000 And it tells you about your mother.

02:53:26.000 Yeah.

02:53:26.000 He starts telling you things that happened to you when you're a little boy so it knows that you know.

02:53:30.000 Yeah.

02:53:31.000 I mean, dude, that whole story arc that Father Karis, Karis, I think is the younger one.

02:53:39.000 Yeah, it's Karis.

02:53:40.000 That he's having a crisis of faith.

02:53:43.000 Yeah.

02:53:44.000 He's already having a crisis of faith.

02:53:46.000 Then on top of it, he's presented this case and he's got to do all the skeptics.

02:53:50.000 He's got a little girl saying your mother sucks cocks. 1.00

02:53:53.000 He has the guilt.

02:53:53.000 And his mother dies.

02:53:54.000 When I saw that movie, I was dying laughing the entire time.

02:53:57.000 I saw it way too late in life.

02:53:59.000 Yeah, it couldn't have been funnier.

02:54:01.000 Thing is, I saw it when it came out and I was a little kid.

02:54:04.000 Like, Jesus Christ.

02:54:05.000 What year did that movie come out, Jamie?

02:54:07.000 2050, I think it was 74.

02:54:10.000 Yeah, it's like 73, right?

02:54:12.000 73.

02:54:13.000 So I was six.

02:54:14.000 Pissed herself, so funny.

02:54:16.000 No exorcist movie has gone as graphic as that since.

02:54:18.000 Really?

02:54:19.000 Well, how about when she's stabbing herself on a pussy with a cross? 1.00

02:54:21.000 Yes.

02:54:22.000 It's brutal.

02:54:24.000 And making those crazy, liquid, like slicing noises.

02:54:28.000 It's brutal, dude.

02:54:29.000 And they show that she's bleeding from it.

02:54:31.000 Like, it's fucking brutal.

02:54:33.000 And there was nothing like that before then.

02:54:36.000 This is what you have to understand.

02:54:37.000 Like, in the context of that time, there was no film that was that crazy.

02:54:42.000 And I'm telling you, there's no exorcism movie since that's comes even kind of close.

02:54:47.000 But it did open up the door to that kind of genre, though.

02:54:52.000 But dude, how fucking cool is it that in the climax in the third act of the movie, when Karis finally realizes like, this fucking bitch is possessed. 0.63

02:55:04.000 We got to do something.

02:55:05.000 And they're like, we're going to call in an exorcist.

02:55:08.000 And then it's fucking Max von Seidow.

02:55:11.000 And his whole backstory is like, he encountered this demon once before.

02:55:15.000 And he comes in like fucking Obi-Wan.

02:55:18.000 Yeah.

02:55:18.000 All gray hair.

02:55:21.000 And he's like the guy coming in like, you don't know what the fuck you're up against right now.

02:55:25.000 Like, it's just, it's hero shit.

02:55:27.000 It's awesome.

02:55:28.000 It's so fucking awesome.

02:55:29.000 Like Willem Dafoe's character in Ensferado.

02:55:31.000 Sense.

02:55:32.000 Yeah.

02:55:33.000 Like, you don't know what the fuck you just encountered.

02:55:33.000 Yeah.

02:55:35.000 Yeah.

02:55:36.000 Yeah.

02:55:36.000 Those kind of movies are fun, man.

02:55:38.000 Oh, yeah.

02:55:41.000 Oh, is this the ride?

02:55:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:55:43.000 That's this is like a dark hall.

02:55:46.000 Okay, yeah.

02:55:49.000 It looks terrible right now, but trust me, it was scary.

02:55:51.000 I'm not going to show on the screen.

02:55:53.000 You have to be there.

02:55:54.000 It's one of those, you got to be there moments when someone tells you a funny joke someone said at a dinner table.

02:55:58.000 You're like, okay.

02:56:00.000 You had to be there.

02:56:01.000 Yeah.

02:56:02.000 You had to be there.

02:56:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:56:04.000 Trying to describe a haunted house is like trying to reiterate one of Metzger's rants.

02:56:09.000 It's like, there's so you gotta be there.

02:56:10.000 Yeah.

02:56:14.000 Metzger.

02:56:15.000 Metzger goes so hard on Twitter.

02:56:19.000 Thank God Elon Musk bought Twitter because Metzger would be in jail if he lived in the UK.

02:56:25.000 If he posted on Facebook in the UK, they would have locked him up years ago.

02:56:28.000 He can't travel internationally.

02:56:30.000 They'll come get him.

02:56:31.000 He was going off about something on the right side of the green room the other night, and I was sitting on the left side with Derek Post in and Hassan.

02:56:39.000 And I go, I just turn to them, I go, if Kurt was in Raiders of the Lost Ark, when they opened the Ark at the end, his face wouldn't melt.

02:56:47.000 I fucking knew it.

02:56:50.000 He would have told you what's going to happen beforehand.

02:56:53.000 He tells me about random, what is this?

02:56:55.000 Some alien?

02:56:56.000 Fucking alien thing.

02:56:57.000 You think this alien corpse pick from 2008 is real?

02:56:59.000 I don't know.

02:57:00.000 Look at them cakes, though.

02:57:05.000 Bro, did you see when he tweeted to Netanyahu?

02:57:07.000 I was like, Jesus Christ.

02:57:09.000 What did he say?

02:57:10.000 Some horrific shit that I don't want to repeat.

02:57:13.000 But he goes so hard.

02:57:15.000 He goes so hard.

02:57:17.000 He's an animal.

02:57:18.000 Oh, my God.

02:57:19.000 Yeah.

02:57:20.000 He's so funny.

02:57:21.000 Dude, I've told this story many times about you and Kurt.

02:57:27.000 And I laughed.

02:57:28.000 It made me laugh so hard, dude.

02:57:30.000 He was going off about something, dude, and you were just standing there quiet.

02:57:35.000 And you walked over and you just go, Kurt, I hesitate to even ask you the question because you knew you were going to rip the kid.

02:57:46.000 I laugh so hard and I go, I go, Rogan talks to people for four hours a day, three times a week, and Kurt's the guy that's, he's like, Kurt, I don't even want to get you started right now.

02:57:56.000 Like, you know how to talk to anybody for lengths of time.

02:58:02.000 You know what I mean?

02:58:03.000 I just wanted a simple yes or no answer to something.

02:58:06.000 Is this real?

02:58:06.000 Oh, you don't know?

02:58:08.000 It's so funny.

02:58:09.000 He's a giant dude.

02:58:09.000 So he's like looming over you with his crazy eyebrows.

02:58:13.000 Yeah.

02:58:13.000 You don't know?

02:58:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:58:14.000 You don't know?

02:58:16.000 He'll hit you with anything.

02:58:17.000 Yeah, you'll be like, I saw the new Fast and Furious.

02:58:19.000 You'll be like, you know what's up with that, though, right?

02:58:21.000 You know what the story is.

02:58:23.000 He's talking about the Masons.

02:58:24.000 I talked to Nuna.

02:58:25.000 He was so sweaty coming off stage.

02:58:26.000 I was like, I should have given him a minute.

02:58:27.000 He's just dripping sweat, ranting at me.

02:58:29.000 I'm like, take a minute, breathe.

02:58:30.000 No, no.

02:58:31.000 When you catch him off stage, you get him at a nine.

02:58:33.000 He's ready to go.

02:58:34.000 He's warmed up.

02:58:35.000 I've seen that man, I'm not exaggerating, roll and smoke a full joint to the head in the time it would take the average person to smoke half a cigarette.

02:58:48.000 Like roll it, four hits, down, gone, boom.

02:58:53.000 Like just, just, he's operating on a different plate.

02:58:57.000 Yeah, he's in another world.

02:58:58.000 He's an odd duck.

02:59:00.000 He's another dude.

02:59:01.000 Like, you know, Ari's an original.

02:59:02.000 Find yourself another Metzger. 1.00

02:59:04.000 Like, literally impossible.

02:59:06.000 Yeah.

02:59:06.000 Super informed, super smart, insane.

02:59:09.000 Yeah.

02:59:10.000 Knows every, and by the way, didn't used to be like this with all the conspiracies.

02:59:14.000 Yeah.

02:59:14.000 He started, I mean, he always knew stuff about things.

02:59:16.000 You always have weird conversations about stuff, like weird facts.

02:59:19.000 But when he started working with Jimmy, so he started doing Jimmy Door show.

02:59:24.000 And so from then on, he got exposed to so many things.

02:59:27.000 It like cracked him.

02:59:29.000 Like he's like, oh my God, like it's all fake.

02:59:31.000 Everything's bullshit.

02:59:32.000 There's like multi-levels of fakeness built into things.

02:59:35.000 Jimmy's an interesting guy because Jimmy was staunchly left liberal.

02:59:40.000 I don't know.

02:59:41.000 The terms, people say they all mean different things.

02:59:44.000 But he's an interesting guy because he certainly, I guess, moved, what do you call it, libertarian now?

02:59:51.000 I just think he thinks that the left, as it existed when he was a part of it, disappeared.

02:59:56.000 Yes.

02:59:57.000 It moved to a far left position that is unrecognizable.

03:00:01.000 And a lot of people have that same feeling.

03:00:03.000 They felt politically homeless.

03:00:06.000 Eric Weinstein talked about that.

03:00:07.000 I've talked about it.

03:00:08.000 You feel politically homeless because there's things you support on one side that you don't support on the other side.

03:00:14.000 Like, what did we do?

03:00:15.000 What is this?

03:00:16.000 Like, why is this a part of it?

03:00:18.000 And you just get to the point where you're like, okay, I can't be on either one of your fucking teams because you guys are both at the far ends, completely insane.

03:00:26.000 Far ends of the left and the far ends of the right.

03:00:29.000 Completely insane.

03:00:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:00:31.000 It's an interesting thing.

03:00:33.000 It's an interesting thing.

03:00:35.000 I never, once ethics, pardon me, once ethics became economized, I knew there was, I was like, we got a real problem on our hands now.

03:00:45.000 Like when people started, because I was living in LA at the time.

03:00:50.000 And when you started seeing, like, you'd be in a job interview just to get a writing gig on a TV show, whatever it was, and you started to see how your social media played into it.

03:01:00.000 You started to see how your takes played into it.

03:01:02.000 Hey, I saw you in a little weird dust up with this guy on the internet.

03:01:05.000 What was that all about?

03:01:06.000 You know what I mean?

03:01:07.000 It's like ethics are being economized.

03:01:10.000 Your morality is being monetized.

03:01:13.000 And once people start to do that, that separation of church and livelihood is no longer there.

03:01:20.000 And the politics becomes the deity or the dogma, whatever you want to call it.

03:01:25.000 And it's just, oh my God, man.

03:01:28.000 It's not a good scene.

03:01:29.000 And I never thought you'd see the day where the extremists are the loudest of the voices.

03:01:39.000 I know a person works at a firm, and they have to put their pronouns in every email they send.

03:01:46.000 You have to?

03:01:47.000 They have to.

03:01:49.000 It's company policy.

03:01:50.000 Company policy.

03:01:52.000 He, him.

03:01:53.000 But what if you say that's what if you say that's my business and I don't want to share that?

03:02:01.000 You have to put it in there because they want you to comply.

03:02:05.000 It's literally Orwellian.

03:02:09.000 It's not.

03:02:10.000 It should be super obvious.

03:02:12.000 It was obvious for all of time.

03:02:15.000 If your name was Deborah McGee and you had long hair and you wore a dress and you were obviously a woman, you were a she. 0.98

03:02:26.000 And the fact that that is, you don't want to assume someone's gender now.

03:02:32.000 You have to be careful.

03:02:33.000 I'm sorry, what are your pronouns?

03:02:35.000 What kind of a stupid fucking nothing question is that?

03:02:38.000 Well, also, too, to me, it's like if you said to me, Joe, if you bring up my pronouns, you are to refer to me as a cat man.

03:02:49.000 I would go, okay, Joe, you're like, you're my buddy?

03:02:52.000 No, you're saying that like it's a joke.

03:02:53.000 There was a woman in Oregon.

03:02:55.000 There was a woman in Oregon who she identified as a turtle, and she was a part of the mental health board.

03:03:02.000 Did you know about this lady?

03:03:02.000 Yeah.

03:03:04.000 No, I'm just, I've thought of two of them.

03:03:05.000 She was famous on.

03:03:06.000 She was talking about her pronouns, and one of her pronouns was turtle.

03:03:09.000 She was a turtle.

03:03:10.000 Yeah, there was, I saw the news clip of the, there was an overweight Chinese middle-aged man who identified as a 12-year-old white girl.

03:03:18.000 Oh, nice.

03:03:19.000 So you can shower with them.

03:03:21.000 Nothing creepy about that at all.

03:03:23.000 But my point is this, is like, if I said, if you said that to me and I slipped and I said, he, and you go, Joe, please, cat man.

03:03:33.000 And I go, oh, I'm sorry, buddy.

03:03:35.000 It's so not meant to insult you.

03:03:36.000 It's just like, oh, all right, dude, whatever you want.

03:03:38.000 It's fine.

03:03:39.000 But it's when it becomes this thing of like, it's like, it is the worst crime you could ever commit against a human being.

03:03:44.000 And it's like, you're dehumanizing me by using my dead name.

03:03:50.000 Can we just take a discussion?

03:03:54.000 It's okay.

03:03:56.000 No, there will be no discussions.

03:03:58.000 Compliance will be complete.

03:04:01.000 Total compliance will be required if you want to get your social credit score.

03:04:06.000 Do you know what's interesting?

03:04:08.000 I Googled Bruce Jenner the other day.

03:04:11.000 That's not interesting.

03:04:16.000 This part is.

03:04:17.000 It's not Bruce anymore.

03:04:18.000 Does it say Caitlin in Wikipedia?

03:04:20.000 Caitlin won the gold medal?

03:04:21.000 I googled Bruce Jenner because I was watching.

03:04:26.000 This is a rabbit hole.

03:04:27.000 I was watching Dennis Miller.

03:04:28.000 I was watching an old Dennis Miller thing.

03:04:31.000 And he had a joke where he's like, when the fuck did Bruce Jenner become the lady from the Beverly Hillbillies?

03:04:37.000 Because it was when Bruce Jenner, like, his face was starting to get pulled back and shit, and you didn't know what was going on.

03:04:42.000 And it just made me laugh.

03:04:43.000 And I looked up the lady and then I was like, wait, yeah, what did he look like then?

03:04:47.000 And I googled Bruce Jenner and I was like, I wonder if there will be results for Bruce Jenner or if it's going to say your dead name.

03:04:55.000 No, Caitlin.

03:04:56.000 And it did come up and everything.

03:04:58.000 But I was like.

03:04:59.000 Too popular, too famous as a man.

03:05:04.000 Won the gold medal, was on top of the Wheaties box.

03:05:07.000 Right.

03:05:08.000 You can't erase that.

03:05:08.000 Too famous.

03:05:09.000 Was on keeping up with the Kardashians as a male for who knows how many episodes.

03:05:14.000 But also, too, I have trans friends.

03:05:18.000 It's like I would never, out of respect to them, say, hey, I'm going to bring up your old shit.

03:05:24.000 But to say we can't talk that Bruce Jenner existed, that's when it becomes necessary to meet Arwillian.

03:05:33.000 It's all cult stuff.

03:05:34.000 That's what it is.

03:05:37.000 It's another version of it.

03:05:39.000 It's another undefined cult that is constantly moving the boundaries of what's acceptable.

03:05:46.000 We're living in.

03:05:47.000 It's exhausting.

03:05:48.000 I'm exhausted.

03:05:49.000 I'm exhausted with everything.

03:05:52.000 I'm exhausted.

03:05:53.000 It's funny.

03:05:55.000 When Trump got shot, I was at my buddy's house.

03:05:57.000 We were in the pool hanging out, and he has a TV out there, and it came on, and we were like, holy shit.

03:06:04.000 It was fucking wild, right?

03:06:05.000 Yeah.

03:06:07.000 And there were people in the pool that were Trump supporters.

03:06:10.000 There were people in the pool that don't like Trump.

03:06:12.000 There was all kinds of people there.

03:06:14.000 So a discussion broke out.

03:06:16.000 This was a massive event.

03:06:17.000 It was very interesting.

03:06:19.000 And I said to my friend, I go, we're living in insanity right now.

03:06:26.000 This is insanity, what we're living in.

03:06:28.000 It's too much.

03:06:29.000 I'm having a hard time swallowing it every day.

03:06:31.000 And he said, yeah, but every generation says that.

03:06:34.000 And is this any crazier than the 60s?

03:06:36.000 I go, let me tell you why it's crazier than the 60s.

03:06:39.000 Because you can't even talk about Star Wars anymore without it devolving into an argument about a transglobal conspiracy of something.

03:06:48.000 You know what I mean?

03:06:48.000 I'm like, we don't even have the escape conversations anymore.

03:06:53.000 Everything has an agenda.

03:06:54.000 Everything is tribalistic.

03:06:56.000 Everything's a conspiracy.

03:06:57.000 Fucking cartoons.

03:06:58.000 You can't talk about anything anymore.

03:07:01.000 And it's like, that's, I'm exhausted.

03:07:04.000 I find myself re-watching news radio, sitcoms from the 90s, things that just remind me of- Jesus Christ, man.

03:07:15.000 So thank you for news radio.

03:07:17.000 Thanks, buddy.

03:07:18.000 Tell everybody about your specials.

03:07:20.000 Bring this baby home.

03:07:21.000 Thank you, brother.

03:07:22.000 It's called I Never Promised You a Rose Garden.

03:07:25.000 It's on my YouTube.

03:07:27.000 I beg your pardon.

03:07:29.000 Never promised you a rose garden.

03:07:31.000 It's on my YouTube, which is at Joe DeRosa Comedy.

03:07:36.000 Please watch it.

03:07:37.000 It's off to an amazing start.

03:07:38.000 Thank you to everybody.

03:07:41.000 I wrote it.

03:07:42.000 I performed it.

03:07:43.000 I directed it.

03:07:44.000 Where'd you perform?

03:07:46.000 This theater is the Colonial Theater in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, near where I have a house in Pennsylvania.

03:07:53.000 It's where I'm from.

03:07:54.000 And that theater is the theater the original blob was shot at.

03:07:58.000 And they run out of the theater.

03:07:59.000 That's the theater.

03:08:00.000 Wow.

03:08:01.000 Yeah.

03:08:02.000 Blob. 0.81

03:08:03.000 Yeah.

03:08:04.000 That's awesome, dude.

03:08:05.000 This is the hardest I've ever worked ever on anything in my life.

03:08:08.000 I'm the most proud of it of anything I've ever done.

03:08:12.000 And it's thank you to the comedy community.

03:08:15.000 Thank you to the mothership.

03:08:17.000 Thank you to all the clubs.

03:08:19.000 Everybody has been so supportive.

03:08:21.000 It's been beautiful.

03:08:22.000 Really appreciate you having me, dude.

03:08:24.000 My pleasure, bro.

03:08:25.000 It's always good to talk to you.

03:08:26.000 Yeah, this was fun, man.

03:08:27.000 It's good to have a little sit-down one-on-one time.

03:08:29.000 It's nice.

03:08:29.000 Yeah, man.

03:08:30.000 It's nice.

03:08:31.000 It was beautiful.

03:08:31.000 All right.

03:08:33.000 It's available.

03:08:35.000 Anything else?

03:08:36.000 Tour dates, JoeDeRosa.com.

03:08:38.000 Tour dates, JoeDeRosa.com.

03:08:40.000 I'll be in Rhode Island next in August.

03:08:43.000 What are you doing in Rhode Island?

03:08:44.000 Comedy Connection.

03:08:45.000 Oh, I love that place.

03:08:46.000 Gold Bank.

03:08:46.000 Yeah, first and second.

03:08:48.000 And then I got other dates throughout the fall.

03:08:51.000 JoeDeRosa.com.

03:08:52.000 And if you're in New York, go get a sandwich, Joey Rosa's.

03:08:56.000 Appreciate you, guys.

The Joe Rogan Experience - July 23, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2354 - Joe DeRosa

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