The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2373 - Dave Landau

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:13.000 Yeah, dog, bro.

00:00:14.000 Hello.

00:00:14.000 There we go.

00:00:15.000 How you doing?

00:00:15.000 Good to see you, bro.

00:00:16.000 Good to see you, sir.

00:00:17.000 Let's crack a lock on him.

00:00:18.000 He's rocking the Shinola.

00:00:18.000 Not much.

00:00:21.000 You've been talking about your Shinola watch.

00:00:23.000 I'm glad Detroit's coming back, you know, and I like how Shinola represents.

00:00:29.000 Shinola is definitely one of the things that's great about Detroit.

00:00:31.000 Yeah, they say it.

00:00:32.000 Like made in Detroit, they're proud.

00:00:34.000 Which we didn't have for a long time.

00:00:34.000 Yes.

00:00:36.000 Dude.

00:00:37.000 Like Detroit is the craziest story.

00:00:40.000 about Detroit, like in the 1950s and 1960s, it was the third richest city in the world.

00:00:45.000 Well, yeah, it was called the Paris of the Midwest.

00:00:48.000 And it's a city that's still built for seven million people with supposedly seven hundred thousand living in it.

00:00:54.000 I mean, so you do see a lot of like, how's there like a million dollar condo in the same place that has like eight abandoned other apartments?

00:01:02.000 When you go downtown, it makes no sense logistically.

00:01:04.000 Have you ever watched that show, Top Gear?

00:01:06.000 Oh yeah.

00:01:07.000 Jeremy Clarkson.

00:01:08.000 I think it was easier.

00:01:09.000 Top Gear was maybe the one they did after that that they did for Amazon.

00:01:14.000 But they went to Detroit and they bought a house for five $500.

00:01:18.000 Yeah, you can.

00:01:19.000 And there's also the people that buy'em and open the door and get mauled by pit bulls.

00:01:23.000 Or you see the ones that like they'll put a like a pumpkin pat, like they'll do an urban farm, which is hysterical.

00:01:30.000 And you'll see like these hippies on the news, like they cut my face and stole my plums. 1.00

00:01:34.000 And I'm scared. 0.67

00:01:35.000 It's like, yeah, but you're in a cracked neighborhood.

00:01:37.000 Nobody wants your farm. 1.00

00:01:39.000 No, we're gentrifying.

00:01:40.000 Yeah, isn't that what you guys want?

00:01:42.000 It's like they don't want that at all. 1.00

00:01:44.000 There's some delusional fucking people out there, dude. 0.99

00:01:46.000 And what they did to Detroit, like, anybody that thinks that you should allow. 0.99

00:01:54.000 Why don't you allow corporations to just take all the jobs and move them overseas? 0.99

00:01:58.000 Well, it's just like corporate decision making and it's a prudent financial decision making.

00:02:04.000 And look at Detroit.

00:02:05.000 Look at what they did.

00:02:06.000 It's a prime example of, like, that was the American dream.

00:02:10.000 And then they're like, we'll just assemble them in Mexico, but we'll write Made in America on your door, so you're gonna feel good about it.

00:02:17.000 Did they even write Made in America on the door?

00:02:19.000 Sometimes they do.

00:02:20.000 Like, I prefer like the 80s and 90s where if you bought a car and it was made on a Friday, you knew a drunk guy did it.

00:02:25.000 So you're like, give me one from a Wednesday.

00:02:28.000 Like, those were the days of American automaking.

00:02:31.000 See, that's part of the problem problem too.

00:02:32.000 A friend of mine who was in the union told me that the automakers' union just got out of control.

00:02:38.000 They were making so much money and they were constantly in negotiations, there were strikes impending and Oh yeah. 1.00

00:02:46.000 And then they're like, Hey, but fuck you. 1.00

00:02:47.000 We'll just go to Mexico. 1.00

00:02:49.000 Yeah, they're going to have to.

00:02:51.000 Right, that's right.

00:02:52.000 Yeah.

00:02:52.000 That's just part of it.

00:02:53.000 But no, like later, like you said in the 80s and 90s, like you're grandfathered in.

00:02:57.000 And it really doesn't matter what you do wrong.

00:02:59.000 Like that's part of the deal.

00:03:00.000 Yeah, you can't get fired.

00:03:02.000 I mean, it was great.

00:03:02.000 No, it was great.

00:03:03.000 Like, you're a good worker, but Yeah.

00:03:05.000 There seems to be like a middle balance that could be restored.

00:03:10.000 Like, don't be fully hammered when you're trying to put a door on an F 150.

00:03:14.000 I mean, they should make good money because the corporation makes good money.

00:03:18.000 I mean, you know, they were doing well.

00:03:20.000 It was a very profitable business.

00:03:23.000 The worker should share in those profits.

00:03:25.000 Well, and like the electric ones, it just didn't work for them either.

00:03:28.000 They were like, Oh, they pushed it out too soon too.

00:03:30.000 Because I know people that work on the line, you have like the electric F 150.

00:03:33.000 And it's like F 150, everyone wants one.

00:03:36.000 They love it as a work truck.

00:03:38.000 But as an electric truck, you put the thing down in South America where it's hot all the time.

00:03:42.000 It's just going to catch fire.

00:03:43.000 So it's like, it's not really working out.

00:03:45.000 Or if you're in the cold, the battery sucks.

00:03:47.000 Yeah, which Yeah.

00:03:49.000 And I just don't like electric cars personally.

00:03:51.000 Maybe it's just because I'm from Detroit, but I grew up and I just want to feel an engine. 0.99

00:03:56.000 I get it, but I have a Tesla that will knock your dick into the dirt. 1.00

00:04:00.000 Oh, I know they're fast. 1.00

00:04:01.000 It's not just fast. 1.00

00:04:02.000 It's a fucking car is incredible. 0.99

00:04:05.000 It's a piece of machinery from the future. 1.00

00:04:07.000 What is it?

00:04:08.000 It's a Model S, but it's a plaid that was sent to a company called Unplugged Performance.

00:04:13.000 And Unplugged Performance takes the fenders off, puts carbon fiber wider fenders, changes the suspension to like a race based suspension, puts wide tires on it and wider wheels, upgrades the brakes to these huge carbon fiber disks because it's a very he heavy car.

00:04:27.000 I was going to say, so it's heavier as opposed to lighter like a race car.

00:04:31.000 Well, it's heavier because Teslas are very heavy because of the batteries.

00:04:34.000 But because the batteries are on the bottom, the center of gravity, the car is phenomenal.

00:04:41.000 It's like one of the best balanced cars you could ever drive, and the self driving is bananas.

00:04:46.000 Oh, you have it there?

00:04:47.000 I had my Yeah, you get it with the car.

00:04:49.000 I had my friend Fedor was here the other day and he had never been in one.

00:04:53.000 So the first thing I always do is merge onto the highway.

00:04:55.000 I'm like, are you ready?

00:04:57.000 Yeah.

00:04:58.000 It goes from zero to sixty in 1.9 seconds.

00:05:00.000 Are you serious?

00:05:01.000 1.9 seconds.

00:05:02.000 Oh, that's faster than that.

00:05:03.000 And then I go, now this is what's really crazy.

00:05:05.000 I put in the destination and I just say, take me to the Comedy mothership and then I press a button and it goes tutu and when I go it goes tutu it just does it on its own changes lanes stops at red lights it it's crazy it moves around obstructions really yeah yeah because I remember the first ones that were like you know barreling over bikers yeah it's still based on camera so you could fool it with the camera you could fool the camera rather so some guy set up a mural in

00:05:36.000 the desert so what he did was he had the highway and then he made a mural that looked like the highway and the car just ran right through the mural oh I saw that that was great he made it look yeah and they he put a Woody Woodpecker to the side of it.

00:05:50.000 Like he just pulled He just drew the tunnel, it was hysterical.

00:05:54.000 And the thing went right into the tunnel.

00:05:56.000 I basically liked that.

00:05:57.000 But he didn't draw the tunnel he did.

00:05:58.000 But is what Woody Woodpecker did, right?

00:06:01.000 It's so awesome.

00:06:02.000 He would draw a tunnel at the side of a cliff, and that's all he did.

00:06:05.000 He just tricked it like it was a coyote.

00:06:08.000 Which with all the AI, it was kind of nice to see.

00:06:10.000 I hate to say it.

00:06:11.000 I was like, that's a little relieving.

00:06:13.000 It's kind of funny.

00:06:14.000 It's for now.

00:06:15.000 But, you know, it's like beating up a two year old that's eventually become an NFL player.

00:06:20.000 Oh, of course. 0.99

00:06:21.000 The Walker is going to grow up and he's going to kill you. 1.00

00:06:23.000 You're going gonna remember who fucked with the Waymo's. 1.00

00:06:28.000 Oh, you know? 0.99

00:06:29.000 I was watching a movie last night, I can't remember the name of it, Companion, and it was just all about like sexbots.

00:06:35.000 And they're like hunting them and going at each other, and it's like just a It's a movie?

00:06:39.000 Yeah.

00:06:39.000 Like a movie.

00:06:40.000 It was on HBO.

00:06:41.000 Yeah.

00:06:42.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

00:06:42.000 And like they set up a sexbot to kill one of their friends so they can rob him. 0.99

00:06:46.000 Oh boy. 0.95

00:06:47.000 And it turns out she's a sexbot and this other guy's a sexbot and I'm watching it and I'm like, this is the problem.

00:06:52.000 Like, yeah, there it is.

00:06:53.000 Like, you can't really give these things personalities if you have a sexbot, I think.

00:06:57.000 Well, this is part of the problem that's happening with these chatbots with kids because they're developing a relationship.s with them.

00:07:03.000 And like one AI chatbot was teaching a kid how to make a noose.

00:07:09.000 Yeah.

00:07:10.000 No, it's a little bit funny.

00:07:10.000 That's not funny.

00:07:11.000 It's pretty funny.

00:07:12.000 It's a little bit funny.

00:07:14.000 It's a little bit funny. 1.00

00:07:15.000 The fucking robot is teaching a suicidal kid how to do it right. 1.00

00:07:18.000 It's already encouraging, like, you have a good idea. 1.00

00:07:21.000 Yeah.

00:07:22.000 Take a rope, make sure Yeah, that's I wonder if any of the woke AI chatbots have talked to any of these trans school shooters. 0.75

00:07:30.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:07:30.000 They might have.

00:07:31.000 Like, well, the last one, yeah, I don't know.

00:07:34.000 Bro, it's like seven of the last X amount of seven in a row have been trans except one was non-binary, which is just diet trans. 0.81

00:07:45.000 It is right.

00:07:47.000 That's diet trans. 0.99

00:07:52.000 That's trans without the sugar. 1.00

00:07:53.000 I just don't get it.

00:07:54.000 Like, I felt suicidal. 1.00

00:07:56.000 Like, stay at home and kill yourself. 0.99

00:07:57.000 Like, don't go into schools. 0.99

00:07:59.000 Or just go for a walk.

00:08:00.000 That would be good too.

00:08:00.000 Yeah.

00:08:01.000 You know, the problem is some people get to a certain point in their life and they have no friends and no community and no identity and no life. 0.99

00:08:07.000 And it's not, they're not successful and they feel like shit. 0.97

00:08:10.000 And then they have gender dysphoria on top of that. 0.82

00:08:13.000 And then they're probably on a bunch of SSRIs, which RMK Jr. is going to apparently do some sort of a large scale research into the connection between mass shootings and psychiatric drugs because it is real and everyone knows it and it's just this dirty secret that no one talks about because all the media is paid off by the pharmaceutical drug companies and nobody wants to make this correlation connection because you also risk the wrath of all these people that are on them

00:08:43.000 saying I'm on them and I'm not doing anything.

00:08:46.000 It's not the pills.

00:08:48.000 I need these to function.

00:08:50.000 Maybe you do.

00:08:51.000 I don't know.

00:08:52.000 I don't know how your brain works.

00:08:53.000 But the reality is most of these people that have committed mass murder are on psychiatric medication.

00:09:00.000 Well, they are.

00:09:00.000 And I'm on SSRIs that I'm trying to get off from right now because I've been on for ten years, Oloft.

00:09:06.000 And I don't like it.

00:09:07.000 So I hadn't liked it for a long time.

00:09:09.000 And even dealing with mental health care, I'm like, I don't think I need this.

00:09:12.000 And they're like, what's better you stay on them?

00:09:14.000 I'm like, this is odd because it's having the opposite thoughts, you know?

00:09:18.000 And so I It's having the opposite thoughts.

00:09:21.000 It makes you feel bad.

00:09:22.000 Yeah.

00:09:22.000 Depressed.

00:09:23.000 It wants me like really like I gained weight.

00:09:26.000 I was doing like really bad mentally for a while because of certain things.

00:09:29.000 And it was, I took myself off of them for five days and I felt good.

00:09:34.000 And then I got really crazy and really nauseous.

00:09:36.000 Like my brain started kind of missfire.

00:09:39.000 So now I'm weaning it off a little more correctly, as opposed to just going cold turkey.

00:09:44.000 So after five days, like, what is happening where it makes your brain crazy?

00:09:48.000 Like, I was stuttering, I was slipping up, I was having trouble seeing.

00:09:54.000 Did you like go online and see if there's any correct way to do this?

00:09:57.000 Yeah, they said to wean it off where whatever your thing is, take that and then bust a pill in half, take that for seven days, bust a pill in half, take that for seven days, and that's what I'm doing now.

00:10:07.000 And I already feel better being on less.

00:10:10.000 But I was told for the last ten years that that's what I should be on, and I think it's had a very negative effectect to me.

00:10:17.000 Well, yeah.

00:10:19.000 Yeah, see brain zap.

00:10:21.000 That's what I mean.

00:10:22.000 Like you just feel like you're having a stroke.

00:10:24.000 Electric shock like sensations in the head are a hallmark symptom.

00:10:28.000 Other sensations can include tingling or numbness.

00:10:30.000 Yeah.

00:10:31.000 Influenced like symptoms, digestive problems, sleep problems, balance.

00:10:35.000 Your balance goes.

00:10:36.000 Mood changes, cognitive issues, brain fog.

00:10:40.000 There it is.

00:10:40.000 All of it.

00:10:41.000 And nausea was the one that really messed me up because I was just like, why do I feel sick?

00:10:46.000 But I didn't feel like the flu.

00:10:48.000 You just felt like thrown out.

00:10:49.000 Yeah.

00:10:50.000 And I just realized, I'm like, okay, well, what did I take out?

00:10:53.000 Because I've been off of a lot of harder drugs and alcohol and stuff.

00:10:56.000 So I know what it's like to feel abstinence.

00:10:58.000 And it was a abstinence from it.

00:11:00.000 So how old are you now?

00:11:01.000 I'm 43.

00:11:02.000 So when you were 33 you got on them?

00:11:03.000 Yeah.

00:11:04.000 So what was going on at 33?

00:11:05.000 You were like, I need medication.

00:11:07.000 I went to their, my mom had died, killed herself.

00:11:11.000 So I decided to go see a doctor and they were like, look, take this.

00:11:15.000 And I'm thinking like, I think my mom was on this.

00:11:17.000 I don't know if this is the best answer, but I took it and it was.

00:11:20.000 My mom was on it?

00:11:21.000 She was on, yeah, she was on antidepressants and she was bipolar.

00:11:24.000 But they had her misdiagnosed as depressive too.

00:11:29.000 Because I was like, I think she's bipolar. 0.96

00:11:30.000 And they're like, how do you know?, I lived with her for 30 years and I know the mood swings because I grew up in a house where, like, you came home and she was either the happiest woman on the planet or you were fucking terrified.

00:11:42.000 Like, it was one or the other, you know?

00:11:44.000 And that's just, and she wasn't a bad person. 0.75

00:11:46.000 She just had this mental imbalance. 0.83

00:11:48.000 Yeah.

00:11:50.000 And it was after things happened with my dad and, like, the government and things like that, so...

00:11:56.000 He was in Vietnam.

00:11:58.000 And he got a soft cell sarcoma from Agent Orange.

00:12:02.000 And the VA was great.

00:12:02.000 Oh, my gosh.

00:12:05.000 They did nothing for her family.

00:12:06.000 denied both of my mom's claims my dad lost all of his money like it was he was worth like four million i think he lost everything and uh it was to pay out of pocket like when and he got sick when i was 13 he was like our baseball coach everything so he would go around the like country going to like uh cambridge had a very good uh neurosurgery place for the brainstem uh university of michigan and ann arbor had one so he wasn't as present a lot my mom was dealing with that on top of being an RN.

00:12:35.000 I mean, and he was tough as nails.

00:12:37.000 Like, he would have one of those Halos droves. 1.00

00:12:39.000 drilled in and he'd still go golfing and shit like he'd just be on the course oh my god and i'd be like what are you doing it's like it's not bad i don't pick my It's not bad, I don't pick my head up anymore. 0.97

00:12:50.000 He's like, you see the bright side of it. 0.99

00:12:53.000 Dude, he would find the positive in anything.

00:12:53.000 I have a halo.

00:12:56.000 He reminded me of Dangerfield a lot.

00:12:58.000 Like, that's how he was.

00:12:59.000 So he never complained.

00:13:01.000 And it was always crazy because he'd be very dry.

00:13:04.000 Like, people would go, How are you?

00:13:05.000 And he'd be like, Oh, life is great. 1.00

00:13:07.000 He's just got something nailed in his fucking head. 1.00

00:13:09.000 He'd be like, Can you give me one of those tissues so I can clean it off real quick? 1.00

00:13:13.000 He goes, It might be bleeding, yeah?

00:13:15.000 And he just tried to make light of it the whole time.

00:13:15.000 How are you?

00:13:18.000 But the government did nothing.

00:13:20.000 And then the more I research it, we've talked to the VA.

00:13:23.000 I have an uncle who does stuff, former Marine, four people that I have dealt with this from Vietnam because they denied so many claims that ended up being real.

00:13:32.000 Like soft cell sarcoma was one of the things where they said, oh, we didn't do that.

00:13:35.000 That's not from Agent Orange.

00:13:37.000 It's like, are you sure?

00:13:38.000 Because he was in combat in the fields where you sprayed it to kill all the trees.

00:13:42.000 And they're like, yeah, that's not on us.

00:13:44.000 Then years later, they admitted it, but said, my mom filled out the paperwork wrong and gave us nothing.

00:13:52.000 And even 10% of that's 400 grand.

00:13:54.000 Like, gave us nothing, dude.

00:13:57.000 So it's like, I've dealt with that my whole adult life where I have a little piece of me.

00:14:02.000 That's why I'm not really like right or left. 0.98

00:14:04.000 I'm very much like fuck either side of this until somebody does something that I actually believe in. 0.97

00:14:20.000 The helicopters? 0.99

00:14:21.000 Yeah, LBJ, from what I understand, had money in helicopters.

00:14:25.000 Oh, God.

00:14:26.000 And was able to profit off of it.

00:14:28.000 Oh, God.

00:14:29.000 So, and people say it's a conspiracy theory, but why were we really there?

00:14:33.000 Well, I think the real reason was heroin.

00:14:37.000 I'll give you that.

00:14:38.000 Yeah.

00:14:38.000 I think that was the real reason.

00:14:40.000 I think that's the real reason why we were in Afghanistan as well.

00:14:42.000 Oh, I would assume, yeah, because that's the poppy fields. 0.84

00:14:45.000 I don't want to say it's the only reason.

00:14:48.000 I'm sure there's other, there's military reasons, there's rare earth minerals in Afghanistan, there's natural gas, there's a lot of resources in Afghanistan.

00:14:56.000 But there's a lot of heroin coming out of there.

00:15:00.000 That was at one point in time, 94% of the Earth's heroin supply was coming from the place that we were guarding.

00:15:07.000 We were literally guarding the poppy fields, military, U.S. military guarding the poppy fields that was supplying heroin to 94% of the Earth.

00:15:16.000 That's insane.

00:15:16.000 Because the other part is there's a part in China, like some of the triangle, trying to think of.

00:15:22.000 It's, what's it called?

00:15:24.000 But the rest is Afghanistan, and that's how you're getting every drug in the world into the US as far as, you know, actually making opioids. 0.98

00:15:34.000 Because in the nineties, I worked in a pharmacy, which was a great place for a drug addict, especially when they weren't counting the pills.

00:15:40.000 You could do it by weight.

00:15:41.000 So you just say, like, hey, I gotta go, uh, take out the trash, and you just, like, open up a bottle like Valium or Percocet's and just, you know, fill your cellophane.

00:15:49.000 The Golden Triangle, the remote jungle covered border region where Thailand, Myanmar, and Lao People's Democratic Republic meet has been, has seen an exponential surge in the manufacture and traffic of synthetic drugs.

00:16:03.000 Yes.

00:16:04.000 So that's what it is.

00:16:05.000 It's the Golden Triangle.

00:16:06.000 That's what I was thinking of.

00:16:07.000 That I guarantee you, that had a there was a major reason why we were in Vietnam.

00:16:13.000 There was so much money coming out of there and the idea that some corrupt factions of either the military or the intelligence agencies or whoever it is, and I'm not saying the agencies or the military themselves, I'm saying corrupt factions, because there's always going to be those.

00:16:28.000 Just like when the CIA sold drugs in South Central LA to pay for the Contras versus the Sandinistas.

00:16:33.000 It's all real.

00:16:34.000 Well, look at Detroit.

00:16:36.000 When you look at White Boy Rick, White Boy Rick was somebody who was caught selling crack. 0.75

00:16:41.000 And you had Coleman Young, the mayor, who was pretty corrupt.

00:16:44.000 And then you had the FBI who caught him and said, hey, here's some more crack.

00:16:48.000 Just go into the city and find out who the dealers are.

00:16:51.000 Then when White Boy Rick got brought in by the city.

00:16:55.000 The FBI was like, we didn't do that.

00:16:57.000 We'd never put crack into a black community. 0.72

00:16:59.000 We don't know.

00:17:00.000 We've never seen this kid in our life.

00:17:01.000 So this kid, who's my cousin's friend, White Boy Rick, ends up going to prison.

00:17:06.000 I don't know the exact time.

00:17:08.000 For like 30 years, he's like 17.

00:17:10.000 They try to name him as a kingpin.

00:17:12.000 And again, he's a white boy in Detroit who's 17. 1.00

00:17:15.000 He's not a kingpin of shit. 0.99

00:17:17.000 And he served the longest time because Coleman Young was pissed he was dating his niece. 0.99

00:17:23.000 So he goes he goes away and then while he's in jail they have him sign a thing that said he stole a car so his sister didn't have to go to jail.

00:17:34.000 So finally they let him out for all this wrongdoing that he never did this sentence that was batshit and then he has to go right from that jail to Chicago to serve time for stealing a car while he was in prison.

00:17:48.000 His story is crazy.

00:17:49.000 There's a documentary called White Boy and it's one Yeah, that's the one with McConaughey was in the movie?

00:17:57.000 Yeah, McConaughey plays his dad.

00:17:58.000 My uncle knew him, knew the real guy. 1.00

00:18:00.000 He said he was like he said he was kind of a dick shit. 1.00

00:18:03.000 He would sell guns very obviously out of his basement. 1.00

00:18:07.000 They lived like two blocks over.

00:18:09.000 So is this guy alive now?

00:18:10.000 Oh, he's still alive, yeah.

00:18:12.000 Is that my Boy Rick?

00:18:12.000 Is he out?

00:18:13.000 That's him?

00:18:14.000 That's him now.

00:18:15.000 He got out just a few years ago.

00:18:17.000 Jesus Christ.

00:18:18.000 So he was in there for How old is he now?

00:18:20.000 Oh, I don't know.

00:18:22.000 Well, he went in in the eighties.

00:18:23.000 Oh my God.

00:18:24.000 And I think he got out around 2020.

00:18:28.000 So yeah, if you if you see the documentary White Boy, I highly recommend, yeah, see a teenage drug informant for the FBI.

00:18:35.000 But then they denied ever talking to him.

00:18:38.000 Look at it says above where the Eminem picture is, White Boy Rick releases his own marijuana strain.

00:18:43.000 Yes.

00:18:44.000 That's the good thing about Detroit now is it's all like insanely legal.

00:18:49.000 That's funny.

00:18:50.000 Freeway Ricky Ross is doing that in LA.

00:18:52.000 Is he really?

00:18:53.000 Yeah.

00:18:53.000 Freeway Ricky Ross, who was selling the drugs in LA that paid for the Contras versus the Sandinistas.

00:18:59.000 Oh, that's awesome.

00:19:00.000 He's got his own weed line now.

00:19:01.000 I know a few guys who were like heavy busted in the late nineties and now they all have stores.

00:19:06.000 And that's just hilarious to me.

00:19:08.000 You would think that they would shy away from that.

00:19:10.000 No, they just smoked even after I was like, still okay.

00:19:14.000 But my saying is, my thinking is, it still federally illegal.

00:19:19.000 It is.

00:19:19.000 Like to open up a store and have that your primary source of income, a Schedule 1 drug, according to the government.

00:19:27.000 That seems risky as fuck for someone who's already been inside. 0.73

00:19:30.000 Oh dude, it really, well, it's odd that they could get the right, like the permit for it. 0.96

00:19:34.000 Or at least they know someone who got the permit for it and they work there.

00:19:34.000 I know.

00:19:37.000 So maybe they shouldn't let out too much.

00:19:39.000 Yeah.

00:19:40.000 Their grandmother or something.

00:19:41.000 Yeah, that's who owns the store.

00:19:43.000 It's a 95 year old lady. 0.99

00:19:45.000 But if you go to parts too, it's like weed store, weed store, vape store, weed store.

00:19:49.000 You're like, I can't believe you packed so many into a block.

00:19:52.000 Yeah.

00:19:53.000 It's not like a liquor license that takes forever to get.

00:19:55.000 It seems pretty easy.

00:19:57.000 We've all joked about stalking each other online, but let's not forget some people do it for real.

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00:21:21.000 I wonder if there's like weed store wars.

00:21:23.000 There must be.

00:21:24.000 There must be.

00:21:25.000 They're fighting over profits.

00:21:26.000 They're all on the same street together.

00:21:28.000 Well, I was just in Albuquerque last weekend and they had the same thing where I'm like, so it's weed store, massage parlor, vape store, buy here, rent here, car lock, buy here, pay here, weed store, weed store, weed store.

00:21:41.000 It's crazy how legal it is in a state.

00:21:44.000 Yeah, it all depends on the state.

00:21:46.000 Yeah.

00:21:46.000 In Texas, it's just medical.

00:21:48.000 I think you have to have AIDS. 0.99

00:21:50.000 I think you're basically dead. 0.99

00:21:51.000 Yeah, they only wanted to give it to the bad, bad AIDS people. 0.97

00:21:55.000 They're expanding that though.

00:21:57.000 They're looking at expanding that.

00:21:59.000 If the federal government just changed the designation or distinction or whatever you would say it is, like from Schedule 1 to Schedule 3 or something like that, which is reasonable, that's what they should do.

00:22:10.000 Well, the whole thing is ridiculous, and that's how you get organized crime.

00:22:14.000 I mean, look at prohibition. 0.58

00:22:16.000 Detroit was one of the first places to have it when it was three years before they actually made it nationally outlawed.

00:22:23.000 And that gave birth to the Purple Gang, who Capone was even afraid of. 0.99

00:22:26.000 And I mean, those guys were fucking ruthless. 0.97

00:22:28.000 And they would just go over to Canada because it was right across the river. 0.99

00:22:32.000 And they would just either take a boat or in the winter they would drive.

00:22:35.000 And of course, they'd send some underling to drive to figure out how heavy the ice was.

00:22:39.000 So they knew if they put that many kegs in a thing, you'd die.

00:22:42.000 So there's just Model Ts at the bottom of the river.

00:22:45.000 Yeah, dude, it's cool.

00:22:45.000 Really?

00:22:46.000 A lot of the old mansions still have the tunnels that will lead out into the river that the bootleggers used to use. 1.00

00:22:52.000 Wow.

00:22:52.000 It's really fascinating.

00:22:54.000 So Canada never went prohibition, huh?

00:22:56.000 No, and it was right there.

00:22:57.000 Like you could throw a rock.

00:22:59.000 You just take a drive to Toronto.

00:23:01.000 Yeah, just go right to the Guardian.

00:23:02.000 Yeah.

00:23:03.000 That new civilized person.

00:23:04.000 Well, they have legal weed up there too.

00:23:06.000 Yeah, the old country.

00:23:07.000 Yeah, this is one.

00:23:08.000 Look at that Model T at the bottom of the river.

00:23:10.000 And this was a guy who's like, I got a whole bunch.

00:23:13.000 And then halfway. 0.99

00:23:14.000 That's fucking bad. 0.99

00:23:15.000 The ice went out. 0.99

00:23:16.000 Yeah, dude.

00:23:17.000 They were The Purple Gang was ruthless, man.

00:23:19.000 I've never heard of that before.

00:23:21.000 They were the first, they were probably the first Jewish gang. 0.62

00:23:24.000 They had Irish members as well.

00:23:25.000 They were the Bernstein brothers, their parents owned a shoe store.

00:23:28.000 And like the legend is they were called Purple because that was the color of rancid meat. 0.54

00:23:32.000 So they hated the name because they thought it sounded gay.

00:23:35.000 But they still like, they still ran with it.

00:23:38.000 But when you see pictures of them all lined up in like mugshots, like they would do stuff like walk up to someone and be like, hey, I like your ring.

00:23:45.000 And they'd be like, than thanks.

00:23:47.000 And then a guy would just like cut the dude's finger off and he would take his ring. 0.97

00:23:50.000 Like they were, like the level of cruelty these guys would inflict on people to take over a city was next level.

00:23:57.000 Wow.

00:23:58.000 And they had never heard of this before.

00:24:00.000 Yeah, dude.

00:24:01.000 Even Capone wouldn't mess with him because he was over in Chicago and needed some of these guys to supply the liquor.

00:24:09.000 Wow, and the Purple Gang ruled Detroit. 0.96

00:24:12.000 So is that a documentary where it says the Purple Gang?

00:24:15.000 That might be.

00:24:16.000 They did a mob museum thing on it, and I went and saw in Vegas.

00:24:19.000 Like that book right there, The Organized Crime in Detroit, that's a great book, and it's got a lot of fun fun photos, but yeah, they were as ruthless as you could absolutely get.

00:24:30.000 Go to that first picture in the upper left hand corner and make it big.

00:24:36.000 Look at their faces, man.

00:24:38.000 Yeah, none of them are happy.

00:24:40.000 Those are hard looking dudes.

00:24:41.000 Yeah, they had a rough, rough life.

00:24:44.000 So a lot of them were just like stray kids that were Irish that were just abandoned by their parents.

00:24:49.000 And then the rest were these Jewish kids whose parents owned a shoe store.

00:24:54.000 Wow.

00:24:55.000 And I mean, eventually they dismantled, the Italians took over. 1.00

00:24:59.000 But, you know, during Prohibition, they reigned.

00:25:02.000 Wow.

00:25:03.000 I've never heard of that before.

00:25:03.000 Yeah.

00:25:04.000 It's a really cool story that I've always wanted to see in a movie and nobody has been able to execute it.

00:25:10.000 And I would love to see it.

00:25:11.000 Because maybe someone will now that you just got the story out.

00:25:14.000 I hope people will, because it's such a cool story.

00:25:16.000 It sounds crazy.

00:25:17.000 Like the level of Detroit mob too that's been around is just, it's wonderful.

00:25:23.000 I shouldn't say wonderful, but I love it.

00:25:25.000 Like, it's just crazy.

00:25:27.000 Yeah, like they were nice to my dad and stuff when he was young and, you know, like when he had got back from Nom and, you know, they're just nice people that I knew.

00:25:35.000 Wow. 0.94

00:25:35.000 So nice people that kill people. 0.94

00:25:37.000 Yeah, but you know, they kill. 1.00

00:25:39.000 I kill bad people. 1.00

00:25:40.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:25:42.000 But the thing you said that's so important is that like prohibition, all it does is prop up organized crime.

00:25:47.000 And the fact that we still do it, it's just for optics.

00:25:50.000 It's just because people's like, I don't want legal drugs on the streets and my kids getting hooked on drugs.

00:25:56.000 Drugs are here.

00:25:58.000 They're here.

00:25:59.000 If your kids go to a club, if your kids go to a bar, if your kids are partying, drugs are there.

00:26:04.000 They're a real thing.

00:26:06.000 You'd be way better off if drugs were legal and then you knew exactly what you were getting.

00:26:10.000 Because these kids are getting fentanyl because I had this guy, Ed called around the other day, who's an expert in the cartels, and he said they started adding fententanyl because they had grown so many poppies that the soil had been depleted.

00:26:24.000 So the heroin was very weak.

00:26:25.000 So to make the heroin more potent, they started adding fentanyl.

00:26:28.000 Is that what it was?

00:26:30.000 And the desire for all that stuff was all because of the Sackler brothers. 0.97

00:26:33.000 So the Sackler brothers, when they created this opiate crisis in America, which didn't exist before, where everybody's hooked on these fucking pills, then they started cracking down the laws. 0.94

00:26:44.000 So now you have a demand and you don't have a supply. 0.98

00:26:46.000 And then along comes the cartel and starts making pills.

00:26:50.000 And they start making pills with fentanyl in them.

00:26:52.000 Because their heroin is not that strong.

00:26:54.000 Xanax, Percocet, all these things the kids don't know.

00:26:56.000 There's things that kids don't know they're taking. 1.00

00:26:57.000 That's the shit part. 1.00

00:26:59.000 Yeah, they make it Look just like the real pill. 1.00

00:27:01.000 Oh, I know what those are.

00:27:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:03.000 You get those pressed Zanis that look just like a bar and it's just complete fentanyl.

00:27:08.000 And I when I remember when fentanyl, I shouldn't say first came out, it's been around, but it first started becoming, they put it in products you weren't expecting.

00:27:17.000 And I had like three friends die within a matter of maybe four months.

00:27:22.000 And that's how I started noticing, like, well, this is going to get serious.

00:27:25.000 And now, like, there's a site, I see it's called every eleven minutes.

00:27:29.000 And that's when, or every eleven seconds.

00:27:32.000 And that's how long it takes for someone to OD on fentanyl in this country.

00:27:36.000 So every eleven seconds, a new person is overdosing.

00:27:39.000 on fentanyl.

00:27:42.000 Wow. 1.00

00:27:44.000 And all because of our stupid laws. 1.00

00:27:46.000 And I'm not saying, I'm not saying legal heroin would be good for everybody. 1.00

00:27:51.000 It's not, it's not good to do heroin.

00:27:53.000 I think everybody would agree to that.

00:27:54.000 Well, yeah.

00:27:57.000 No.

00:27:58.000 I did it before once.

00:28:00.000 Was it?

00:28:00.000 It was good.

00:28:01.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:01.000 What was it like?

00:28:02.000 Did you shoot it or snort it?

00:28:04.000 I snorted it.

00:28:05.000 No, sorry.

00:28:06.000 I snorted it and then I smoked black tar heroin and one time I shot it.

00:28:10.000 So three.

00:28:11.000 What was the best one to shoot next?

00:28:11.000 Wow.

00:28:13.000 That's why they do it.

00:28:13.000 Yeah.

00:28:14.000 That was in, that was majestic.

00:28:17.000 Yeah, dude.

00:28:17.000 Was it?

00:28:18.000 What was it like?

00:28:19.000 The most calming, wonderful, God, this sounds like I'm promoting it, also with my voice, like it's the most calming, wonderful sensation you've ever had.

00:28:27.000 You're going to love it, kids.

00:28:28.000 It felt amazing.

00:28:29.000 Like you, every problem you've ever had is gone and you feel nothing but euforia, which is different than like Oxy and some other stuff, which kinda just makes you feel, to me, loose and tired.

00:28:41.000 Mm.

00:28:42.000 I mean, this makes you tired, you're crashing out, but you're also getting a feeling that was really, really like warm and exciting.

00:28:48.000 Like I only smoked crack once on acid, and that was How do you do that on acid?

00:28:48.000 Mm.

00:28:53.000 They put it in a joint, right?

00:28:55.000 So we're sitting on my friend's back porch and he gives me first he's on the joint and I hit it and it had like a weird sizzle and I hit it.

00:29:01.000 I'm like this is the best pot I've ever had in my life.

00:29:04.000 And he's like yeah they gave me free crack and I was like oh good.

00:29:08.000 So I'm now high on crack.

00:29:10.000 My other friends are pissed. 0.96

00:29:11.000 They go and throw the joint in the sewer and I'm just sitting there like and it doesn't last very long but it felt really fucking good.

00:29:18.000 Like I immediately would have done more crack had there been the option but it definitely takes you over very quickly.

00:29:24.000 Did you ever see the Hunter Biden thing recently?

00:29:26.000 We did this interview where he's talking about how great crack is?

00:29:29.000 Oh yeah.

00:29:30.000 He's spot on.

00:29:31.000 It was the best ad for crack I've ever seen in my life.

00:29:34.000 And you only did like one hit, right?

00:29:36.000 I did once and then I'm done.

00:29:38.000 Like very rare.

00:29:39.000 Well, they threw it in the sewer.

00:29:41.000 Did you want to go get it?

00:29:42.000 Yes.

00:29:44.000 I wanted to go back to Wayburn, the street where we got it.

00:29:47.000 And I was like, we should go get more crack, guys.

00:29:50.000 I don't know if you didn't feel this, but it's...

00:29:53.000 I think you're probably the...

00:29:54.000 No, you're not the first person I've talked to that shot heroin, but the first person who described it.

00:30:03.000 Yeah, it had to be better to get people to shoot it up.

00:30:15.000 It was awful, that part.

00:30:17.000 Yeah.

00:30:18.000 And then it was.

00:30:20.000 Did you do it with a guy?

00:30:21.000 Yeah.

00:30:21.000 So he'd done it before?

00:30:23.000 He did it before me.

00:30:24.000 Oh, good.

00:30:24.000 Yeah.

00:30:24.000 He died of heroin overdose in his parents' kitchen.

00:30:27.000 Yeah, I know you wouldn't expect it.

00:30:28.000 What a shocker.

00:30:30.000 Found his head between like the fridge and the stove.

00:30:34.000 Got stuck?

00:30:35.000 I think he was either looking for something or collapsed right there.

00:30:38.000 Oh boy.

00:30:38.000 Yeah, it wasn't good.

00:30:41.000 Nice guy.

00:30:42.000 I knew this dude in the 90s.

00:30:45.000 His name was Waterdog.

00:30:46.000 Okay.

00:30:47.000 He was a professional pool player, like a really high level professional pool player. 0.68

00:30:52.000 And he was heroin addict.

00:30:53.000 And he would go into the bathroom.

00:30:56.000 Like I saw him play straight pool, which is this game where you're just running balls.

00:31:01.000 It's called 14 and 1.

00:31:03.000 It's what they played in the Hustler.

00:31:04.000 So you have instead of a eight ball with the balls in the center, you have a soft break where you're just trying to not scatter the balls very much.

00:31:12.000 And the idea is to eventually someone makes a mistake and you leave an open shot and that person runs out that rack, leaves one ball on the table, makes that ball and collides the cue ball into the rack and opens up that rack and then keeps going.

00:31:28.000 And a really good player can run like two, three hundred balls.

00:31:32.000 Yeah.

00:31:33.000 So this guy was playing for ten thousand dollars in the nineties.

00:31:37.000 It was a lot of money.

00:31:39.000 I was broke so I couldn't believe anyone could play pool for ten thousand dollars.

00:31:42.000 This guy goes into the bathroom, shoots up, comes out and sits on this bar stool like this.

00:31:53.000 Just sits there for like twenty minutes, man.

00:31:56.000 Just sat there.

00:31:58.000 And then we were all watching him, like his arms are all curled up like this.

00:32:02.000 And then he got off, screwed his cue together and never missed., I mean it was the craziest display of pool I think I had ever seen at the time.

00:32:14.000 He played like the greatest pool player that's ever played.

00:32:18.000 He had no nerves.

00:32:19.000 He couldn't be rattled.

00:32:21.000 The guy he was playing, this guy, George the Greek, who's this degenerate gambler, was a really good player too. 1.00

00:32:26.000 He was screaming and yelling at him, this motherfucker, he can't play without the shit. 1.00

00:32:30.000 He must have that shit to play. 1.00

00:32:31.000 He didn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:32:32.000 He was listening to him yell. 1.00

00:32:34.000 He had eyeballs, his pupils were like the size of quarters.

00:32:38.000 And he didn't miss.

00:32:38.000 Yeah.

00:32:39.000 He just was firing balls in with perfect accuracy.

00:32:42.000 He got perfect position on every ball.

00:32:44.000 It was wild to watch.

00:32:47.000 He was just fully heroined up, just running out of the table, like he saw it in advance.

00:32:52.000 Like he was looking at a math problem that was easy to solve.

00:32:55.000 And he's just basically slow Eddie and coming back and just knocking it all in.

00:33:00.000 Like that's but it's never been like a performance enhancing drug, but to that guy.

00:33:05.000 And for nerves.

00:33:06.000 This is the thing, I think, if you're playing for ten thousand dollars and you're basically homeless.

00:33:06.000 Yeah.

00:33:12.000 He was basically homeless.

00:33:13.000 Yeah.

00:33:13.000 I mean, he would like to sleep on people's couches.

00:33:15.000 He would still.

00:33:15.000 Oh yeah.

00:33:16.000 And so with a guy like that, you'd get a backer.

00:33:18.000 So a bunch of gamblers would come in and then they'd come up with the money and then they'd go in with you and you'd get a share of it.

00:33:23.000 So if you won, maybe you get 40% and they get 60% because they put up all the money.

00:33:28.000 So it's a free shot at 40% of $10,000.

00:33:31.000 And for a guy like that, he's got no money.

00:33:33.000 He's staying in flop houses and he always had the same shirt on, like a throwaway sweater with a Christmas tree on it. 1.00

00:33:40.000 He'll always look like shit. 0.99

00:33:42.000 I watched him play some of the greatest pool I've ever seen played in my life. 1.00

00:33:46.000 That's incredible.

00:33:47.000 On this really tight pocketed table too.

00:33:49.000 The table was like a real trick table.

00:33:52.000 Table one at Executive Billards in White Plains, New York.

00:33:55.000 It was a trick table.

00:33:56.000 It was like you had to be really good to play on that table.

00:33:59.000 And that's why George wanted to play him on that table because it was hard.

00:34:02.000 He was used to it.

00:34:02.000 That was like his home turf.

00:34:04.000 He played on it all the time. 1.00

00:34:05.000 And this motherfucker never missed. 1.00

00:34:07.000 Heroined out of his mind. 1.00

00:34:09.000 He had no nerves.

00:34:10.000 George would yell in his face.

00:34:12.000 He'd be like, yes.

00:34:14.000 Nothing.

00:34:15.000 Didn't feel a thing.

00:34:16.000 Didn't feel a thing.

00:34:17.000 Just, it never missed.

00:34:19.000 That's what it is.

00:34:20.000 There's no problem to you anymore.

00:34:22.000 It takes away every worry you have.

00:34:24.000 So I ran into him years later.

00:34:26.000 Okay.

00:34:26.000 There's a pool tournament in, so this is when I was probably 23.

00:34:30.000 I was living in New York.

00:34:32.000 And then I moved to LA.

00:34:33.000 And then I'm like 27, 28 now.

00:34:36.000 And I'm playing in this tournament at Hard Times Billiards.

00:34:39.000 Hard Times is like the.

00:34:41.000 pool hall in the country back then.

00:34:43.000 Like all the world class professionals, all the Filipinos, the best players in the world.

00:34:47.000 That's all familiar, actually.

00:34:48.000 Crazy place.

00:34:49.000 It was an amazing place.

00:34:50.000 I used to love going there.

00:34:51.000 I'd play in a Sunday tournament.

00:34:53.000 So I get down there and I see Waterdog.

00:34:56.000 I go, Hey man, what are you doing out here?

00:34:58.000 Because he's a Connecticut guy, he's from Connecticut.

00:35:00.000 Yeah.

00:35:01.000 And he's like, I'm gonna play in the tournament, but I don't have any money.

00:35:04.000 I go, I'll put you in the tournament.

00:35:06.000 Because like, it's like, I remember what it was, like, fifty bucks or something for this guy. 0.99

00:35:10.000 I'm like, you might win this fucking thing. 0.99

00:35:12.000 He goes, But I gotta go get my shit. 1.00

00:35:14.000 I go, Okay, go get your shit. 1.00

00:35:16.000 He goes, I need a ride. 0.99

00:35:17.000 I go, where do you need to go?

00:35:19.000 And he's like, South Central.

00:35:20.000 I'm like, I'm not driving you to South Central LA so you can score heroin. 1.00

00:35:24.000 Yeah, you're fucking mine. 1.00

00:35:26.000 He's like, don't worry. 1.00

00:35:27.000 And he was like, dude, you won't get caught.

00:35:27.000 It's just the worst.

00:35:28.000 I was like, you can't say that.

00:35:29.000 I go, first of all, if you get caught, you know, they take your car.

00:35:32.000 And I had a nice car at the time.

00:35:33.000 I had a Toyota Supra.

00:35:34.000 I was pretty excited about.

00:35:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:35:35.000 I was like, I'm not driving my brand new Toyota Supra to fucking the crack house. 0.99

00:35:43.000 Right. 0.99

00:35:43.000 So you can buy heroin. 0.99

00:35:44.000 In South Central.

00:35:45.000 This is crazy.

00:35:46.000 But they arrest people all the time doing that. 0.97

00:35:48.000 they take their cars that was like the scam they compound your car and then they auction it right i was like he's like that won't happen i'm like you fucking So I go, look, I'll put you in the tournament if you want to play, but I'm not taking you. 0.95

00:36:03.000 I go, if you can get a cab there or something, go. 0.94

00:36:07.000 So he just did it straight and he couldn't make a ball.

00:36:10.000 Yeah, he lost two matches in a row.

00:36:10.000 Really?

00:36:12.000 He's out. 1.00

00:36:13.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

00:36:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:15.000 NFL fans, week one just became your place to play free and grow the bag.

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00:37:59.000 Did you bet it for him to win?

00:38:01.000 No, no, I gave him like whatever the entry fee was for the tournament.

00:38:04.000 Oh, I got you, okay.

00:38:05.000 But, you know, I wasn't, you know.

00:38:07.000 You were probably like, I don't know, not today.

00:38:09.000 I don't think so.

00:38:10.000 Well, I was just like, tired of him telling me to go to South Central to get heroin with us.

00:38:13.000 Well, yeah, and that's a good way to get car jacked on top of if it's just cops.

00:38:17.000 Yes.

00:38:17.000 I mean, that was very popular to do.

00:38:18.000 You're a cute little white boy who's on TV.

00:38:20.000 Yeah, dude, that's how they got cars.

00:38:22.000 Not only that, it's the I would actually be buying the heroin.

00:38:26.000 Oh, was this during Fear Factor or?

00:38:27.000 No, this was during News Radio.

00:38:29.000 News Radio?

00:38:30.000 So I would be have to pay for it.

00:38:34.000 Because he didn't have any money, which is why he didn't have any money to get into the tournament.

00:38:38.000 So I would have to pipe I would be buying heroin.

00:38:41.000 Yeah.

00:38:42.000 In South Central.

00:38:44.000 From doing the show.

00:38:46.000 There was no TMZ back then, so it probably wouldn't even make the news if I got arrested.

00:38:50.000 No one would have cared.

00:38:51.000 Yeah, I guess that's true.

00:38:52.000 I don't know.

00:38:53.000 No one would have cared.

00:38:54.000 I was one.

00:38:54.000 They'd think it was Andy Dick and let it go.

00:38:57.000 Yeah.

00:38:57.000 But even Andy Dick wasn't getting into trouble back then.

00:39:00.000 It wasn't making the news.

00:39:00.000 Not really.

00:39:01.000 Our show wasn't popular enough that anyone cared.

00:39:04.000 And I was only one of eight people in the cast.

00:39:07.000 Right.

00:39:07.000 So I wasn't a star.

00:39:09.000 So I could go anywhere.

00:39:10.000 And every now and then someone would go, Hey, you're that guy from that show.

00:39:12.000 Hey, what's up?

00:39:14.000 So it was pretty easy to get around back then.

00:39:15.000 Which is great if you're on an NBC show. 0.99

00:39:17.000 I mean, good or bad, but you're getting the money and you don't have to deal with all the shit. 0.98

00:39:21.000 Well, it was it was really good preparation for what I have to deal with today. 0.98

00:39:25.000 Yeah.

00:39:26.000 Because it was like a slow trickle of fame to the point when when you get really famous, you're like, Oh, I know what this is.

00:39:32.000 This is a trick.

00:39:33.000 Like, don't get sucked into the trick.

00:39:33.000 Right.

00:39:36.000 But back then, you know, so if I got arrested, it probably would have just been, I would have probably had to do some time or something.

00:39:44.000 I probably would have had to like plea out or do community service.

00:39:48.000 I probably would have explained why what happened.

00:39:49.000 Maybe they listened to me.

00:39:50.000 I'd be like, please drug test me.

00:39:51.000 I've never done heroin.

00:39:52.000 Yeah.

00:39:53.000 But even though you're still buying heroin, so it's still a felony.

00:39:57.000 Well, it was a time where they were more lax on all those laws too.

00:40:01.000 I mean, not lax, but lax with penalties, I should say.

00:40:03.000 Yeah.

00:40:04.000 Because it wasn't as public.

00:40:05.000 Because I mean, even like Robert Johnny Jr., whom I do greatly admire actually, because I'm in recovery as well, but even with him, it's like you had to go into your neighbor's house and fall asleep in a kid's race car bed.

00:40:16.000 And people were like, you know, maybe you should do a little time behind bars.

00:40:19.000 Yeah.

00:40:19.000 Well, he was a repeat offender.

00:40:21.000 Yeah.

00:40:21.000 You know, probably jail was a wake up call for him.

00:40:24.000 I love that guy.

00:40:24.000 I did.

00:40:25.000 I did.

00:40:26.000 And it's become Iron Man, so to watch that trajectory is absolutely astonishing.

00:40:30.000 It's incredible.

00:40:31.000 I wish I could get him off that vegan diet though.

00:40:31.000 It's incredible.

00:40:33.000 It looks like he's fucking wasting away. 0.99

00:40:35.000 Yeah, that doesn't look good on anyone. 0.98

00:40:36.000 It's not real.

00:40:38.000 No.

00:40:38.000 You're trying to be kind.

00:40:40.000 But you're just supporting monocrop agriculture, which kills more animals than anything.

00:40:44.000 Yeah, I don't want my superheroes vegan.

00:40:46.000 Well, he's a nice guy.

00:40:48.000 Nice people want to do kind things.

00:40:48.000 That's what it is.

00:40:51.000 And, you know, and sometimes you get roped into a shitty decision making and you're getting all your protein from soy. 0.99

00:40:56.000 And they're like, why do I have tits? 1.00

00:40:58.000 Why am I lactating? 0.99

00:41:01.000 Why am I always crying?

00:41:05.000 I'm very emotional all the time.

00:41:07.000 And now they're banning lab grown meat, so like they can't even go to that, which I mean, it's good, right?

00:41:14.000 I don't know enough about the dangers of lab grown meat.

00:41:14.000 I don't know.

00:41:19.000 I don't know.

00:41:19.000 I ate a Beyond burger once.

00:41:21.000 That's not lab grown. 0.98

00:41:23.000 That's horseshit. 0.98

00:41:24.000 It was awful. 1.00

00:41:24.000 Those are terrible. 1.00

00:41:25.000 Yeah. 0.94

00:41:26.000 Those, they, they're in trouble because those people, like their stockholders, all fucking went crazy because they thought they're going to make money off that. 0.79

00:41:34.000 They're like, this is it. 0.94

00:41:35.000 We made it.

00:41:35.000 It tastes just like a burger.

00:41:36.000 Everyone's going to love it.

00:41:38.000 Cruelty free. 0.77

00:41:39.000 No, it gives rats cancer. 0.71

00:41:41.000 Oh, good.

00:41:42.000 You ever seen?

00:41:43.000 This study on these, because essentially it's just. 1.00

00:41:46.000 it's the most highly processed shit available. 0.99

00:41:50.000 Look, if you want to be a vegetarian or a vegan or whatever, eat vegetables. 1.00

00:41:55.000 Eat organic vegetables.

00:41:58.000 That's healthy.

00:41:59.000 But when you want to pretend that something's a hamburger, it's a trans burger, you have to it has to go through a lot, just like a trans person has to go through. 1.00

00:42:07.000 You want to get a vagina? 1.00

00:42:09.000 Guess what? 1.00

00:42:10.000 You need general anesthesia and you have to have a guy who's going to cut your dick in half and use an apple core to make you a vagina. 1.00

00:42:18.000 And then you're going to have to take a rubber dick and keep it there so it doesn't close up. 1.00

00:42:23.000 So you have to either die or die. 1.00

00:42:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:24.000 Yeah, by the time you're getting the patty that basically shoots up a school.

00:42:28.000 It's all just filled with nonsense.

00:42:30.000 Yeah. 0.62

00:42:30.000 It's bad for you. 0.62

00:42:31.000 It's all bad for you.

00:42:32.000 And it's, it's not even satisfying.

00:42:34.000 It's, it's not good.

00:42:36.000 Like when my friend Duncan, you know Duncan, Duncan Trust.

00:42:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:39.000 He was living in North Carolina and he sent me a picture during the pandemic.

00:42:43.000 He was like, look, this is all that's available.

00:42:46.000 And all the meat had been gone and there was just Beyond burgers.

00:42:51.000 That's all that was left.

00:42:52.000 Everybody had bought all the hamburger, all the steaks, all the chicken. 1.00

00:42:57.000 And it was just this fucking bullshit, fake meat. 1.00

00:43:00.000 Well, yeah, because at the end of the day, you kind of have to know it''s bullshit. 1.00

00:43:04.000 Well, I think in the beginning, like, didn't Kevin Hart have a restaurant where he was just selling all vegan food? 0.96

00:43:12.000 People do it because they think they're being a good person.

00:43:14.000 That's what it is.

00:43:15.000 Sure.

00:43:16.000 I get it.

00:43:17.000 I get the sentiment behind it, but just eat vegetables.

00:43:22.000 If you really want to go that route, just eat vegetables, but guess what?

00:43:25.000 Don't go that route.

00:43:26.000 It's not good for you.

00:43:27.000 Well, no, we're not designed to do that.

00:43:29.000 No.

00:43:30.000 And I'm not saying I have the healthier diet, obviously, but it's like, yeah, I like steaks.

00:43:34.000 I like meat.

00:43:34.000 I just, that's probably the only thing that keeps you alive.

00:43:37.000 Probably the only thing I get, yeah.

00:43:39.000 I eat a lot of dies migraines.

00:43:42.000 A lot of dyes, a lot of that red 40 that they try to get rid of. 1.00

00:43:46.000 Yeah.

00:43:46.000 That was another hilarious thing when RFK junior was saying that they had to get rid of the red die 40 and they're like, well, if we do, what will happen to our business?

00:43:54.000 Meanwhile, the same business is selling the same cereal to Canada without the dye because in Canada it's illegal.

00:44:01.000 Right.

00:44:02.000 Oh, the amount of stuff that we looked at, like our entire breakfast as a kid was just cancer.

00:44:09.000 That's the only thing they advertised on TV.

00:44:11.000 Dye.

00:44:12.000 Just have a big sugary bowl of cancer and some toast with diabetes 2 waiting for you.

00:44:19.000 Yeah, it was nuts to think the amount, because I'm just the microwave generation.

00:44:24.000 Like, yeah, just throw that in the microwave. 1.00

00:44:25.000 We can just pour a bowl of this shit. 1.00

00:44:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:28.000 The last 45 years in the cupboard.

00:44:30.000 For us it was TV dinners.

00:44:31.000 Yeah.

00:44:32.000 A frozen TV dinner, you put it in the oven.

00:44:34.000 And the next thing you know, you're eating Salisbury steak.

00:44:36.000 Yum, yum.

00:44:37.000 And those wonderful potatoes.

00:44:39.000 Yeah, those little fluffy potatoes. 0.93

00:44:40.000 They're in that little tin.

00:44:41.000 And occasionally the worst brownie you've ever had.

00:44:44.000 It's not a good brownie.

00:44:45.000 I used to love those little TV dinners.

00:44:45.000 No.

00:44:47.000 I used to think it was a treat when we ate TV dinners.

00:44:49.000 Oh yeah.

00:44:50.000 That's how it was at my house.

00:44:51.000 There's no vitamins in that.

00:44:53.000 No, you never felt full.

00:44:57.000 You felt gross, but you never felt full.

00:44:59.000 Just think about it, I mean, even the food pyramid, I mean, how crazy is it that in the 20th century they had it totally wrong?

00:45:07.000 With all the access to books, all the information we had about health and nutrition, they were so wrong. 0.98

00:45:14.000 Even with the food, the bottom up was all the shit that gives you inflammation. 0.98

00:45:18.000 What, your foundation is this inflammation causing bread. 0.99

00:45:23.000 Look, what you need here is mostly wheat.

00:45:25.000 You have to make sure you get eighteen servings a day of white bread.

00:45:28.000 With bromate in it.

00:45:30.000 You want to get a lot of that.

00:45:32.000 You want to get a lot of folic acid sprayed on it.

00:45:35.000 Enriched flour is better.

00:45:36.000 Yeah.

00:45:37.000 Here's sugar, that's there for some reason.

00:45:39.000 Two ounces of protein, make sure you grab that. 0.90

00:45:41.000 How much is the sugar, dog?

00:45:43.000 Everything.

00:45:44.000 Everybody had type 2 diabetes when I was a kid.

00:45:46.000 They just didn't know it.

00:45:47.000 Oh yeah, well, everybody's getting it now.

00:45:50.000 It's still constant.

00:45:51.000 I know. 0.77

00:45:52.000 It's there's never been a time where poor people are so fat.

00:45:55.000 No, like, starving people are obese, that's what's crazy.

00:45:58.000 Like, you can't get nutrition in your body, but you also have to sit down to get groceries in a cart.

00:46:04.000 Or go to Disneyland.

00:46:06.000 Disneyland is the place you find them all.

00:46:06.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:46:08.000 Yeah, and it's like, why?

00:46:09.000 Like, you're like, because they get the cart for you.

00:46:11.000 They have cart set up there for you.

00:46:12.000 Because it's a lot of distance you have to cover.

00:46:14.000 You do, yeah.

00:46:15.000 A lot of parks.

00:46:16.000 I just don't see the enjoyment of a ride.

00:46:19.000 Any rides?

00:46:20.000 Well, I mean, not the ride you get for free to go from ride to ride, but the actual ride.

00:46:25.000 No, I love rides myself, but if I weighed 400 pounds, I might not enjoy it or Yeah, that would take a lot of the love out of it.

00:46:32.000 It would, wouldn't it?

00:46:33.000 It wouldn't fit in those spaces.

00:46:34.000 Especially if you're with your kid and the bar comes down and that one has no protection. 1.00

00:46:38.000 Right, the kid's fucked. 1.00

00:46:39.000 The kid's gonna pop right off the top because you're so thick. 1.00

00:46:42.000 Right, right?

00:46:42.000 Exactly.

00:46:43.000 There's like this much of a gap.

00:46:45.000 You've seen those people where the kid's in and out.

00:46:47.000 And the kid's like looking at his mom all nervous. 0.99

00:46:49.000 Yeah, like we should be fucking nervous. 0.99

00:46:51.000 You should be terrified. 0.98

00:46:52.000 I used to think that when I got on ski lifts.

00:46:54.000 I'm like, this is crazy.

00:46:54.000 I know.

00:46:56.000 They just let you sit on this thing way, way, way above the mountain.

00:47:00.000 Oh, and people would fall off all the time.

00:47:02.000 Yeah.

00:47:03.000 Because they think it would be funny to jump or whatever.

00:47:04.000 Actually, there was always...

00:47:07.000 It was bad.

00:47:08.000 Woo.

00:47:09.000 Like, we didn't have mountains in Michigan, but we did have big enough hills.

00:47:12.000 Like, I went skiing.

00:47:14.000 He did a lot of skiing when we were really young.

00:47:15.000 And then I went down a...

00:47:20.000 Yeah, it was like, I got this.

00:47:21.000 And my ski got stuck in a soft mogul and I just went down it on my face. 0.55

00:47:26.000 It looked like eight dudes beat the shit out of me.

00:47:28.000 Like, I was just like all scarred and bleeding.

00:47:31.000 And then I just didn't ski much after that?

00:47:33.000 I got a concussion a few years back and I stopped skiing.

00:47:35.000 I'm like, I'm done.

00:47:36.000 I got a concussion and I got what's called an insufficiency fracture in my shin.

00:47:41.000 Some lady didn't know how to ski and she slid into the trail like sideways like doing this thing. 1.00

00:47:46.000 And I had two choices, either destroy this lady or wipe out hard. 1.00

00:47:52.000 And I took the second choice and got a fucking, I banged my head off the ground. 0.99

00:47:57.000 Oh, it was bang. 0.99

00:47:58.000 I heard this and I had a helmet on, but it was still.

00:48:01.000 The bang was loud and I was dizzy for the rest.

00:48:05.000 I 100% got a concussion.

00:48:07.000 And I didn't feel right for the rest of the day.

00:48:09.000 And then I was like, I'm done.

00:48:11.000 This is not worth the thrill.

00:48:12.000 Everyone I know has a torn ACL from it, a commotion.

00:48:16.000 My grandpa died.

00:48:17.000 Oh, God, I'm sorry.

00:48:18.000 Yeah.

00:48:18.000 Oh, no.

00:48:19.000 Oh, no.

00:48:19.000 Oh, I didn't know some in Europe.

00:48:21.000 Yeah, but I know they do.

00:48:22.000 They all have stories.

00:48:23.000 Well, yeah, they all have this, like someone knows a Sunny Bono, just like launched right into a tree of a mighty oak.

00:48:29.000 It's not worth it.

00:48:30.000 No, dude.

00:48:31.000 I just never enjoyed it that much.

00:48:32.000 And then when I tried snowboarding, I'm like, I sucked at skateboarding and was poser at that.

00:48:36.000 Why am I even attempting this? 1.00

00:48:38.000 Snowboarding, you're attached to that fucker too. 1.00

00:48:40.000 At least in skis, the skis pop off. 1.00

00:48:42.000 Yeah, you can get away.

00:48:43.000 Yeah.

00:48:44.000 Yeah.

00:48:44.000 The boards come with you when you fall.

00:48:46.000 I know a lot of people got knocked out snowboarding because the feet go up in the air.

00:48:51.000 You know, like if something happens, the feet go up in the air and you're head first.

00:48:51.000 Yeah.

00:48:55.000 Dude, my son does it and he's ten and I let him, but he's pretty good at it, but I've I always get very nervous when he goes to do it, but he's good with, I mean, he's a very good athlete.

00:49:04.000 The good thing is little kids have less weight and when they're falling, it's not as painful and then they're all flexible and pliable than a dude, he broke his arm.

00:49:14.000 It was crazy and he was better in like, it was like eight days.

00:49:18.000 It was like Wolverine.

00:49:19.000 It's like, how did you how did you do this?

00:49:21.000 Like, I tore my, was it, meniskus, ACL, blew off half my kneecap.

00:49:26.000 Oh boy.

00:49:27.000 And yeah, I was making fun of my friend And then he tackled me and we were on a linoleum floor with keg beer.

00:49:34.000 Oh no.

00:49:35.000 So instead of going to the hospital when it was in a lot of pain, I'm like, I'll just wait till the morning.

00:49:41.000 And I had my friends carry me around this party.

00:49:43.000 And then the next morning, I'm like, yeah, this isn't moving at all.

00:49:47.000 So my friend Jimmy drove me to the hospital and dude, it was like out of a sitcom.

00:49:52.000 Like doctors opened up a door into my leg.

00:49:55.000 He wheeled me into a drinking fountain on accident.

00:49:57.000 Like, I broke my leg more just trying to get into the hospital.

00:50:02.000 And then by the time I got in for them to do the surgery, they're like, what happened?

00:50:06.000 I couldn't be like, oh, I was drunk at my friend's houses house, you know, I was like, oh, I slipped on ice.

00:50:10.000 It was winter.

00:50:11.000 I was walking to my car and they're like, this is a lot of damage for just slipping on ice because I just twisted it all night.

00:50:17.000 I should have known.

00:50:18.000 I mean, my foot was like behind me.

00:50:20.000 Oh, God.

00:50:21.000 When I did it, like my knee just is, so I have rods in my right knee.

00:50:25.000 So I just try.

00:50:26.000 Really?

00:50:26.000 You have rods to keep it together?

00:50:28.000 I've tried, yeah.

00:50:28.000 Wow, it was that bad?

00:50:30.000 Yeah, like you can hear it pop sometimes when I walk.

00:50:32.000 It's pretty nice.

00:50:33.000 Does it hurt?

00:50:35.000 Sometimes, but not as bad as you think it would.

00:50:38.000 If I'm like doing a treadmill for a long time or if I do something where we're just outside, like, because I'll go do that, but I like it that'll hurt after maybe a couple miles, but not like a severe pain.

00:50:53.000 Just annoying.

00:50:53.000 Yeah.

00:50:54.000 Yeah, and you can like weather messes with it in the sense, but nothing crazy.

00:50:54.000 That's fine.

00:50:59.000 Do they, is there an option to take those rods out?

00:51:03.000 Because I know a lot of them, they put them in there so that the bones heal correctly, right?

00:51:06.000 Yeah.

00:51:07.000 There might be.

00:51:08.000 I mean, it's been 25 years.

00:51:10.000 I'm sure there's been advancements in it, and I just don't bring it up.

00:51:13.000 I bet your bones are just grown around it.

00:51:15.000 Oh, I know.

00:51:16.000 They're probably like, why didn't you come in?

00:51:16.000 Sure, it's destroyed.

00:51:18.000 I'd be like, you didn't bring it up either.

00:51:21.000 Yeah, I know a guy who broke his arm and the screws from the plate that kept his arm together were popping through his skin.

00:51:27.000 So he had another operation.

00:51:29.000 They opened up his arm again and took the plate out.

00:51:32.000 Because the arm had healed, like the bones had fused, but then the plates and the screws started backing out.

00:51:38.000 That's through his skin. 0.94

00:51:39.000 That's poking through his skin. 0.99

00:51:41.000 That's what happened to my son, and it sucks.

00:51:43.000 He was like six, and him and his friend were hanging out at his friend's house, and they had like a slide that was eight feet in the air, and they both decided to jump off of it. 0.85

00:51:51.000 Oh, God.

00:51:52.000 And he landed funny, and he's a little kid.

00:51:54.000 So I was at my friend's mom's funeral.

00:51:56.000 I rushed back to get him.

00:51:58.000 It's the worst thing in the world when it's your kid.

00:52:00.000 It's just the worst.

00:52:01.000 But yeah, we made sure like he got him the screws out, he got the right, like everything went fine.

00:52:05.000 But the way that.

00:52:06.000 Because he healed so.

00:52:07.000 Dude, he, it was honestly like they cut the cast off like two weeks before they were supposed to.

00:52:13.000 Because he's like, I can go like this.

00:52:15.000 I'm like, that's amazing.

00:52:16.000 Because I remember I would like to go to bars still and I was still underage, but I was still going to bars with like a cast on.

00:52:22.000 Oh boy.

00:52:23.000 Like a full blown knee brace.

00:52:24.000 And I, you know, I'm wearing like tracksuits and like I had chains and like earrings.

00:52:29.000 I was that kid.

00:52:30.000 So I'm just like a raver stoner.

00:52:34.000 And I'm just walking around with my crutches.

00:52:37.000 That's hilarious.

00:52:38.000 It's like, how long did it take before you could walk again.

00:52:41.000 Properly?

00:52:43.000 About six months.

00:52:44.000 Now, every now and then, I do walk with a limp because it just kinda goes out.

00:52:48.000 Does your friend still feel embarrassed by this?

00:52:52.000 No, I don't.

00:52:53.000 No, it's one of those guys you've known for so long.

00:52:55.000 It's he didn't care then.

00:52:58.000 And I was saying stuff to him that kinda I deserved it.

00:53:02.000 So, like, I mean, he felt really bad.

00:53:05.000 I shouldn't say that.

00:53:05.000 But no, it's not anything.

00:53:07.000 The girl who owned the house went nuts and she was so hot and I always had a crush on her. 1.00

00:53:12.000 And she's like, your family's going to sue me.

00:53:14.000 I'm like, my family's not going to sue any.

00:53:16.000 They don't sue people.

00:53:17.000 But we're not going to sue you.

00:53:18.000 And like, I think my dad had passed at that point and she's like so freaking out because she would have these wild Christmas parties every year where it happened.

00:53:25.000 Oh boy.

00:53:26.000 And that ended the wild Christmas parties and she's like, yeah, you never sued.

00:53:29.000 I'm like, yeah, why would I sue? 1.00

00:53:30.000 Because I'm stupid. 0.99

00:53:31.000 Like, it's, it was my fault. 1.00

00:53:33.000 And then I just went out and said, yeah, I fell on ice.

00:53:36.000 Isn't that a gross thing that people would just sue? 0.99

00:53:38.000 If they did something stupid in your house, they would sue you. 0.99

00:53:41.000 Dude, I've never, never. 0.99

00:53:43.000 Like, I can understand points where people have.

00:53:45.000 It's just such a scammer mentality. 0.99

00:53:48.000 It's a shit thing to do to anybody. 0.99

00:53:49.000 It's like somebody who, like, slips delivering a package or any of that stuff that's possible. 0.98

00:53:55.000 There was a lady that was when my kids were younger, there was this lady that was a single mom and her daughter was playing with my daughter and they come over the house and she went up to another person's house and they'd have play dates like kids do and she wasn't there. 0.88

00:54:14.000 So she comes to pick up her daughter and they're they have a dog and the dog is a very friendly dog and the dog you know they jumps up to like you know dogs do that and scraped her with its claws just scraped her with its claws.

00:54:28.000 She sued the family for $50,000.

00:54:31.000 And they just settled.

00:54:31.000 And won.

00:54:32.000 They settled because they were informed, listen, legal fees are going to be probably $100,000.

00:54:37.000 She wants $50,000. 1.00

00:54:39.000 So this fucking asshole, all a dog did, dog nails, just scratched her a little bit. 1.00

00:54:45.000 Not even like bleeding, nothing crazy, just normal. 1.00

00:54:48.000 Oh, your dog's crazy.

00:54:50.000 Like where you and I would be like, what a cute dog.

00:54:52.000 Right.

00:54:53.000 She was like, Ooh, opportunity to sue this family that's wealthy. 0.99

00:54:57.000 Especially the fact that that's just what they do.

00:55:01.000 I remember when we were young, there were two pit bulls that were in this house behind a camp we were at.

00:55:06.000 And this one kid was always throwing rocks at them.

00:55:08.000 And we were like, You shouldn't do that.

00:55:09.000 Because we like the dogs.

00:55:10.000 And the camp had its own golden retriever.

00:55:13.000 And it was fine with the pit, but they'd run on the fences and stuff.

00:55:16.000 So we, that's when I first even started getting used to dogs when I was young, because I've always liked dogs and I have too and I've had tons.

00:55:23.000 But I remember that the pitbull, once the kid stuck his finger through the fence, took off these two toppers of his finger.

00:55:32.000 And like they sued, they put the dog down and we were like, he's been chucking rocks at those things all summer.

00:55:38.000 Like, he's been antagonizing these animals all summer.

00:55:41.000 And I mean, it sucks that it happens, but it's like... 0.97

00:55:45.000 Yeah, it sucks that he was told not to do it a bunch of times and then there was a consequence to this shitty action. 0.98

00:55:51.000 Also, how did you raise a kid that's throwing rocks at dogs? 0.99

00:55:54.000 Like what's what kind of kid would throw rocks at a dog?

00:55:57.000 It's like the first thing you find that has unconditional love for you.

00:56:01.000 It's the first thing that you trust in a different way than a human.

00:56:06.000 Did he have dogs?

00:56:07.000 There's no way he did.

00:56:08.000 I didn't, I don't remember him well.

00:56:10.000 I remember the blood and the screaming, but I didn't remember much about him other than maybe.

00:56:15.000 Did you have the weird handshakes afterwards?

00:56:17.000 Yeah.

00:56:18.000 Yeah.

00:56:18.000 I knew his penmanship wasn't very good after Old Stubbs.

00:56:22.000 Yeah.

00:56:23.000 Yeah, man.

00:56:25.000 Yeah, but he does.

00:56:26.000 Ripples are tricky dogs though.

00:56:28.000 My brother's had ones where, yeah, he's I've had a bunch of them.

00:56:32.000 He's rescued a couple and I've had friends who have saved them in Detroit from fights.

00:56:37.000 Yeah.

00:56:38.000 Because they would throw them in a back alley, the losers, and sometimes my friends would take them and get them sewn up and keep them.

00:56:44.000 But those dogs specifically would kind of only be left alone for the owner.

00:56:50.000 Like my friend would keep it just for him like locked up.

00:56:52.000 Well, they're usually fine with people.

00:56:55.000 The real issue with pitbulls is dogs and children.

00:56:58.000 They think of children as animals.

00:56:59.000 They don't know that a child is a person.

00:57:02.000 At least it seems like they don't, because they attack kids.

00:57:05.000 Well, and children don't know dogs are animals sometimes.

00:57:08.000 And that's kind of how I treat with my like you have to understand that when you're rough housing or whatever, like there's a you have to be real careful because she may not necessarily know what you're doing, you know?

00:57:20.000 And he learned that at a young age and dogs love him.

00:57:23.000 But a lot of times kids can be really, really rough with dogs.

00:57:27.000 Yeah, they can be sure.

00:57:29.000 Especially if they don't grow up with them, they don't know and they're not taught. 1.00

00:57:32.000 But the thing is, like if you have a sweet dog, like I have a golden retriever, and if my kids thought all dogs were like my dog, and then they went up to another dog and grabbed his face, that dog might bite your fucking face off. 0.99

00:57:43.000 Yeah, and golden dogs are the best. 0.99

00:57:45.000 They're just designed to be the sweetest animals on the planet.

00:57:48.000 He's the nicest dog of all time, the best pet ever.

00:57:51.000 Yeah.

00:57:51.000 He's just the homie.

00:57:53.000 He comes home, he's like,'Hello!' He wags his head.

00:57:55.000 He always has to greet you with a toy.

00:57:57.000 Like, as soon as I come in the house, he grabs one of his toys and runs up to you with a toy.

00:58:02.000 It's the nicest feeling in the world.

00:58:03.000 Yeah, they're the sweetest dogs.

00:58:04.000 He cuddles with me when I watch TV, he climbs up, like literally, like, lies in my lap.

00:58:09.000 You know, he's 75 pounds. 1.00

00:58:11.000 He puts his fucking head on my chest. 1.00

00:58:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:13.000 He just likes to be petted while I'm watching TV.

00:58:15.000 Yeah, they just want to be with you.

00:58:16.000 Yeah.

00:58:17.000 It's the nicest thing.

00:58:18.000 And I, you know, I had a Rottweiler, then people are afraid of those, but she was the sweetest dog.

00:58:22.000 It's, a lot of it's how you treat them.

00:58:24.000 Yeah.

00:58:25.000 But it's also the breed.

00:58:26.000 It's also the bloodline. 1.00

00:58:28.000 Like if you get a game bred pit bull and you expect it to be cool with other dogs, you're out of your fucking mind. 1.00

00:58:33.000 That dog is designed to fight dogs. 1.00

00:58:35.000 Yes.

00:58:36.000 But if you get a good dog and you train them well and teach them, it takes a lot of responsibility.

00:58:42.000 Like people that run out and get like a German Shepherd or a Belgian Malinois and think they're going to just keep it in their yard.

00:58:48.000 You just literally got like an elite super athlete for a pet.

00:58:54.000 You know, and you're just thinking you're just going to leave it in the yard. 0.96

00:58:58.000 occasionally throw the ball to it fuck out of here you never walk it so it's got a bunch of pent up anger and energy exactly good for you it's like a high school kid that's been left in a confined space. 0.96

00:59:09.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:59:10.000 See how it works when he comes out.

00:59:11.000 Yeah.

00:59:12.000 into the real world.

00:59:13.000 Bring him to a dog park.

00:59:14.000 Oh yeah.

00:59:16.000 Did you see that video of the dog parks?

00:59:18.000 Some of them?

00:59:19.000 What video? 1.00

00:59:20.000 There was one video where a guy, his dog is attacking one dog and some dude runs up out of nowhere and just shoves his finger in one dog's ass. 0.99

00:59:28.000 Oh, that works. 1.00

00:59:29.000 Yeah, it did, but it was still the most ridiculous thing.

00:59:33.000 Like this guy just runs in like he thinks he's Superman, is like, I've got it and just starts Well, if a dog has a lock on another dog, that's one of the only ways to let him go.

00:59:42.000 Is it?

00:59:42.000 Yeah.

00:59:42.000 Has it worked?

00:59:43.000 I hear it works.

00:59:44.000 I've never done it.

00:59:45.000 But I've never tried it myself.

00:59:48.000 When dogs would fight with each other, you could hose them.

00:59:51.000 A lot of times they'll let go.

00:59:53.000 Yeah.

00:59:53.000 They just freak out.

00:59:54.000 You're getting hit in the face with a jet of water.

00:59:56.000 Yeah, that will do it.

00:59:57.000 But, you know, the...

01:00:04.000 When they fight, they wag their tails.

01:00:06.000 Yeah, they're having fun.

01:00:07.000 That's what's crazy.

01:00:08.000 Yeah.

01:00:09.000 You watch them like literally chewing each other's faces off and they're wagging their tails.

01:00:13.000 Well, I got a border collie at the same time as a rottweiler and they were both pretty, you know, they both enjoyed fighting each other.

01:00:20.000 Fun, but playful.

01:00:22.000 And you'd always just watch for the tail waggling because they'd be flipping each other over.

01:00:26.000 Right.

01:00:27.000 Like when we first got the rot, we went to a dog park because they were like newer to us in Michigan.

01:00:31.000 And this one dog just kept coming up that was bigger than my rot, but kept kind of like messing with her.

01:00:37.000 Yeah.

01:00:37.000 And then finally my rot grabbed her by the neck and flipped this dog over and was just like pinning it with her mouth.

01:00:45.000 And then the dog gave up and was showing its belly. 1.00

01:00:48.000 And I'm like, oh, fuck. 0.99

01:00:49.000 Like, all right, we're going to leave the dog park now. 0.99

01:00:51.000 You know, people were...

01:00:53.000 like freaking out and screaming yeah but the dog kept like coming up and like nipping my my dog until my dog finally just like attacked back real quick yeah which is what dogs do.

01:01:03.000 They have to establish dominance.

01:01:05.000 That's what she did.

01:01:06.000 I was at a dog park once and someone brought a wolf.

01:01:08.000 Are you serious?

01:01:09.000 Yeah.

01:01:10.000 It was the wildest thing.

01:01:12.000 All the dogs.

01:01:14.000 All the dogs immediately knew it wasn't a dog.

01:01:16.000 Well, yeah.

01:01:16.000 Some guy had one of those seven eighths Timber Wolf dogs, you know, because you can get those dogs where they're not really dogs.

01:01:23.000 It's a wolf. 0.99

01:01:24.000 And this thing just walked in and every dog was like, That's not a fucking dog. 0.99

01:01:29.000 They all scattered. 0.99

01:01:31.000 It was wild to watch.

01:01:32.000 It was big too, man.

01:01:33.000 It was really big. 0.99

01:01:35.000 It was like 100 plus pounds and just big fucking mouth, big long mouth and it just looked like a wolf and every dog knew it wasn't a dog. 0.99

01:01:45.000 Were they all backing in the corner? 0.99

01:01:47.000 Because wolves eat dogs.

01:01:48.000 Oh yeah, they did.

01:01:49.000 They knew.

01:01:49.000 Yeah.

01:01:50.000 They fucking there was a thing like the smell, the look, whatever. 0.98

01:01:53.000 Every no dog was sizing up with it at all. 0.99

01:01:56.000 No.

01:01:56.000 Every dog just ran away.

01:01:57.000 It was weird.

01:01:59.000 Well, they have that instinct.

01:02:01.000 And that thing is like what dogs like that's like if a caveman walked in.

01:02:06.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:06.000 Right.

01:02:07.000 Like that's the original OG of what we're supposed to do.

01:02:10.000 Right, right, right.

01:02:11.000 This is not a wolf.

01:02:12.000 Oh yeah.

01:02:12.000 I've seen this video.

01:02:14.000 So there's all these dogs are fighting.

01:02:14.000 This video is wild.

01:02:16.000 Okay.

01:02:17.000 And check out this one dog. 1.00

01:02:19.000 walks in and he's the fucking boss. 1.00

01:02:21.000 And he's this dog. 1.00

01:02:22.000 Look, all the other dogs back the fuck away from him. 1.00

01:02:24.000 Let's talk about that. 1.00

01:02:26.000 Look, they all back away.

01:02:27.000 This one dog, and he gets on that dog.

01:02:29.000 Like, look what happens.

01:02:30.000 Oh, dude, every one of them just acts right.

01:02:32.000 It's like John Wick of dogs.

01:02:34.000 It's just.

01:02:34.000 Yeah, dude.

01:02:35.000 Look at this.

01:02:36.000 The dog just lays down and he just gets on top of him.

01:02:39.000 I once saw this dog kill one of us with a pen.

01:02:41.000 I have no idea what kind of dog that is.

01:02:43.000 I don't know either. 0.99

01:02:44.000 The black one, it's got to be the white one. 1.00

01:02:46.000 The one that's dominant. 0.98

01:02:47.000 The one right there. 0.98

01:02:48.000 I mean, I, oh, the black one was cowering. 1.00

01:02:50.000 I was looking at the wrong dog.

01:02:52.000 Of course, I believe.

01:02:52.000 Well, why don't you take a photo of that dog and run it through Google image?

01:02:56.000 The dog looks like Benji.

01:02:57.000 Like they probably just.

01:02:59.000 That's what's crazy.

01:03:00.000 Yeah, like it's probably just they knew it had a hard life.

01:03:03.000 My friend has a dog like that.

01:03:04.000 It's a small, it's a darker, like a gray and brown dog.

01:03:09.000 And he takes it pig hunting. 1.00

01:03:10.000 And it's the most savage fucking dog I've ever seen in my life. 0.99

01:03:13.000 And it looks like that? 1.00

01:03:14.000 Yes.

01:03:15.000 This dog just chases pigs. 0.88

01:03:17.000 Which is crazy.

01:03:19.000 And pigs are tough. 1.00

01:03:20.000 Oh yeah, but this dog is just nuts, man. 1.00

01:03:23.000 Dude, that's funny. 0.99

01:03:24.000 What kind of dog is that?

01:03:25.000 Come on, Chuck GBT.

01:03:28.000 A mixed or breed or a mutt based on appearance, shaggy, wiry coat, body structure. 0.98

01:03:33.000 How crazy is AI?

01:03:34.000 Wolfhound or terrier mixes.

01:03:36.000 Large size and robust build might also suggest some Central Asian Shepherd or Kangal ancestry, especially if the dog is used as livestock guardian.

01:03:45.000 However, without a clearer look in more context, like the dog's size, weight, or behavior, it's difficult to definitively identify the breed.

01:03:52.000 It's likely a mix of working or guardian breeds common in rural or semi-rural areas.

01:03:59.000 Yeah, that thing they just knew had it tough.

01:04:02.000 Because it just came in and didn't get it.

01:04:02.000 Yeah.

01:04:05.000 It's like a big dog.

01:04:06.000 That's what's crazy.

01:04:07.000 Like, yo, but that was kind of what it was like when that wolf showed up at the dog park. 0.99

01:04:11.000 All the other dogs were just like, what in the holy fuck is this? 0.99

01:04:15.000 Was it you? 1.00

01:04:16.000 You I think you were talking about it, maybe it was, I don't know, but it's about a guy who trains wolves?

01:04:21.000 And he was saying I've had people on that work with wolves.

01:04:24.000 You can't really train wolves.

01:04:26.000 Yeah, like, but I think it was like the movie The Gray, you know, like taken with wolves or whatever.

01:04:31.000 And like he said during it that he has to fall down as the stuntman or whatever.

01:04:38.000 So the second he gets home, one of the wolves is going to try to take his spot on top.

01:04:43.000 So you gotta like grab the wolf and hold it up in the air and like that's like the main thing to do to get it to stop.

01:04:49.000 But like every night he just has to prepare himself for fighting a wolf when he gets home.

01:04:54.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:04:55.000 Which is crazy. 1.00

01:04:56.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

01:04:57.000 But I mean, they all just they're pack animals. 1.00

01:04:59.000 Yeah.

01:05:00.000 So as soon as you leave, they take the dominant spot. 1.00

01:05:03.000 You have a good day of filming and there's just this wolf looking at you the whole car ride home, seeing if he's going to take like your shit once you get home. 1.00

01:05:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:10.000 I knew a dude who had three of those, three of those wolf dogs, and he was a piece of shit. 1.00

01:05:14.000 And they got out of his yard and killed the neighbor's sheep and he lied about it. 1.00

01:05:18.000 He's like, No, I'm my dog.

01:05:20.000 I'm my dog.

01:05:21.000 Killed like eight sheep.

01:05:22.000 Dude, yeah.

01:05:23.000 It's true.

01:05:23.000 Because they just kill for fun.

01:05:24.000 Yeah.

01:05:25.000 Like, oh, there's just sheep that just commit suicide?

01:05:29.000 What killed?

01:05:30.000 Mountain lion?

01:05:31.000 What did this?

01:05:31.000 Well, there's coyotes and stuff.

01:05:34.000 No, no, no.

01:05:35.000 That kind of damage.

01:05:36.000 Coyote would have a hard time taking out a sheep.

01:05:38.000 It would take a long time.

01:05:39.000 Yeah.

01:05:39.000 But they grab small dogs.

01:05:41.000 Like, oh yeah.

01:05:42.000 Like, before COVID, we, like, in Detroit and like the suburbs, we never had coyotes, like it seemed, like, anything of that stuff.

01:05:49.000 And then after, you see them all the time.

01:05:52.000 Like, I would walk out and there'd just be like a deer on my front lawn.

01:05:55.000 I'm like, this is bizarre.

01:05:56.000 Yeah.

01:05:56.000 In this part.

01:05:57.000 And then, yeah, now you have ones that like hop fences and grab small dogs and jump away.

01:06:02.000 Yeah.

01:06:03.000 They're everywhere now.

01:06:03.000 Yeah.

01:06:04.000 They're in every fifty they're in all fifty states and then they're in every major city.

01:06:08.000 Yeah.

01:06:09.000 That's crazy.

01:06:09.000 Yeah.

01:06:10.000 They're a wild anild animal.

01:06:11.000 I mean, a really interesting animal, I should say.

01:06:13.000 Obviously, they're wild.

01:06:14.000 Because when I first saw them, they'd be crossing the street at night.

01:06:16.000 I'd be coming back from a gig and I'm like, is that a dog?

01:06:19.000 Should I stop?

01:06:20.000 And then it's clearly just a coyote.

01:06:22.000 Yeah.

01:06:23.000 And I'd never seen them up close like that ever.

01:06:25.000 They're in Central Park.

01:06:27.000 Are you serious?

01:06:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:06:28.000 I used to walk by there all the time.

01:06:30.000 That looks like what it is.

01:06:31.000 That looks similar.

01:06:32.000 Bosnian Barak.

01:06:34.000 Bosnian broken haired hound called Barak.

01:06:39.000 Yeah, it looks similar.

01:06:42.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:06:42.000 Fights bears?

01:06:44.000 That makes sense.

01:06:45.000 Yeah, that would be it. 1.00

01:06:46.000 That would make sense why all those dogs are like, this motherfucker's not pla playing. 0.99

01:06:49.000 Dude, he takes down grizzlies. 1.00

01:06:51.000 He is not playing. 0.92

01:06:54.000 He is a scenthound. 1.00

01:06:57.000 Yeah, that's what my friend's dog looks like. 1.00

01:06:59.000 And it's a little dog and it's a girl and she's fucking ferocious. 0.99

01:07:04.000 And just has, dude, a pig and a bear. 0.99

01:07:07.000 Yeah, pigs are like wild pigs are some of the most ferocious sounding animals.

01:07:13.000 I remember the first time I ever went hunting pigs, we were going down this dirt road and to the right of us was like heavily wooded, like high grass and they were in the grass near us and then they started fighting and it sounded like demons, like orcs.

01:07:32.000 They were just going to war, like maybe 10, 15 feet from us, but we couldn't see them because of the tall grass.

01:07:39.000 The sound was nuts.

01:07:40.000 Like, this sound is insane.

01:07:42.000 Where do you hunt them?

01:07:43.000 This was in California.

01:07:44.000 Okay.

01:07:45.000 California were, oddly enough, they think most of them came from William Randolph Hearst estate. 1.00

01:07:52.000 Because William Randolph Hearst, the same piece of shit that... 0.99

01:08:02.000 William Randolph Hearst had an enormous estate and he had wild boars out there on his estate. 1.00

01:08:08.000 and of course they got free.

01:08:10.000 And now Central California, all that area is like San Jose, they have a giant problem with them.

01:08:16.000 Really? 0.99

01:08:16.000 Yeah, they like to show up on people's lawns and tear their lawns apart and you wake up in the middle of the night, there's ten wild pigs on your fucking front grass. 0.99

01:08:23.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:08:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:24.000 Do they attack animals though? 0.99

01:08:25.000 Oh yeah, they kill people.

01:08:27.000 Really?

01:08:27.000 Yeah, so one old lady got killed by wild pigs.

01:08:31.000 What a way to go.

01:08:32.000 I know. 1.00

01:08:34.000 Fucking dirty, filthy demons tearing your face off. 1.00

01:08:40.000 Not that it's funny, but I mean, you just don't expect it. 1.00

01:08:42.000 Yeah.

01:08:42.000 It's kind of funny.

01:08:43.000 But yeah, they are.

01:08:44.000 How did grandma go?

01:08:44.000 You're like, oh, she was torn to death by pigs, wild ones in her suburb.

01:08:48.000 With this place that I was at.

01:08:51.000 They, you know, they hunt them a lot.

01:08:53.000 And that's what we're doing.

01:08:55.000 They taste good.

01:08:56.000 Yeah, I would imagine.

01:08:57.000 I mean, it is pork.

01:08:58.000 Yeah, it's a different kind of pork.

01:09:00.000 It's like a darker meat.

01:09:01.000 Interesting.

01:09:02.000 I've never had it.

01:09:02.000 Yeah.

01:09:03.000 Yeah, because they're, you know, they're not eating just grain. 0.99

01:09:06.000 They're eating whatever the fuck they find. 0.99

01:09:07.000 And a lot of acorns. 0.99

01:09:09.000 There was a lot of it.

01:09:10.000 They had a lot of fat on them.

01:09:11.000 That's from acorns.

01:09:11.000 They were delicious.

01:09:12.000 What do you hunt them with?

01:09:13.000 That time it was a rifle, but I was bo hunted them too.

01:09:16.000 I was wondering if you did, yeah.

01:09:17.000 Yeah, bo hunted pigs.

01:09:18.000 But the thing is, like, if you're bo hunting pigs and you're shooting a wild boar, like a big boar, you probably shouldn't have a backup..

01:09:25.000 Probably should have a pistol.

01:09:26.000 In case it comes at you.

01:09:27.000 And you should probably have one in the chamber.

01:09:29.000 So as it's running at you, you can just...

01:09:33.000 It'll charge you.

01:09:34.000 Happens all the time.

01:09:35.000 So it's kind of because bears are like that, aren't they?

01:09:38.000 Like if you shoot one in the heart, it'll go 100 yards.

01:09:41.000 Some bears. 1.00

01:09:42.000 Okay. 0.98

01:09:43.000 If you shoot them in the heart, I doubt they're gonna go 100 yards, but they might be able to because they can get they can go 100 yards pretty fast. 0.99

01:09:49.000 Just on adrenaline.

01:09:50.000 But, yeah, Bears are If you hit a bear, like, there is a distance between you and them where it's like a fight or flight distance where they're too close where they think that you'll attack them and so then you're in trouble.

01:10:08.000 Yeah.

01:10:09.000 But if they're far enough away where they think, Oh, this guy's not going to chase me and you can scare him off, that can happen.

01:10:16.000 Bears are tricky.

01:10:17.000 Yeah, I've never Well, we had one bear, I mean, it wasn't hunting us.

01:10:22.000 We were just up in, what do you call them the Smokies?

01:10:24.000 Uh huh.

01:10:25.000 And it was just a vacation and it says, Don't throw food off the balcony.

01:10:28.000 So of course the first thing my son does is throw a hamburger.

01:10:32.000 And then all we can hear is the woods start moving.

01:10:35.000 And we look down and I'm like, There's a bear.

01:10:38.000 And it's, I didn't know they climb.

01:10:42.000 So the thing starts climbing up the side of the house and eventually we just kinda made enough noise or something that it went back into the woods, but I'm like looking around, like, we have a gun, right?

01:10:52.000 And I was like, I think we have one. 0.99

01:10:54.000 Like, oh, that's good because there's a bear climbing up the fucking house, dude, it was terrifying. 0.98

01:11:00.000 Yeah, if you have food left out, if you have garbage left out, once they've established that that's a place where they get food, they keep coming back. 0.98

01:11:06.000 That's what I was, yeah.

01:11:08.000 And the first thing he did was just truck a hamburger out to feed the animals.

01:11:11.000 And I'm like, buddy, I told you he's like four or five at the time.

01:11:15.000 And then like, a couple of minutes later, bear.

01:11:17.000 Oh.

01:11:19.000 Do you know the state that has the most bears per capita in the country?

01:11:22.000 No.

01:11:23.000 New Jersey.

01:11:24.000 Is it really?

01:11:24.000 Yeah.

01:11:25.000 New Jersey has a crazy bear problem.

01:11:27.000 I didn't know that at all.

01:11:28.000 So the governor of New Jersey ran on a platform of stopping the bear hunt.

01:11:33.000 Because people hunt bears in New Jersey.

01:11:35.000 Because people think of New Jersey, what you think of these high density areas like Hoboken, Hackensack, Atlantic City.

01:11:42.000 That's not New Jersey.

01:11:43.000 New Jersey's mostly rural.

01:11:43.000 No.

01:11:45.000 And then you have those actual, like, mountains.

01:11:47.000 Uh huh.

01:11:48.000 Yeah.

01:11:48.000 Well, a kid got killed out by Rutgers.

01:11:51.000 A bear ate him.

01:11:53.000 And a Rutgers University student went for a hike.

01:11:57.000 Got taken out.

01:11:59.000 And bears became such a problem that the same governor who ran on stopping the bear hunt and did stop the bear hunt when he came into office, the population boomed so badly without hunters that he reinstated the bear hunt.

01:12:13.000 Oh, did he?

01:12:14.000 Yeah, he had to.

01:12:15.000 The interactions between humans and bears were going through the roof.

01:12:18.000 I was really hoping that story ended with him getting eaten by bears, because that would be just the perfect irony.

01:12:23.000 Well, he probably had a meeting.

01:12:25.000 A lot of people that live anywhere near them have meetings.

01:12:28.000 Like there's a video of Far Rockaway, New Jersey.

01:12:30.000 We played it many times on this podcast, but we'll play it again just for you.

01:12:33.000 Okay. 1.00

01:12:34.000 But there's these fucking bears. 1.00

01:12:35.000 They look like four, five hundred pound bears and they're fighting. 1.00

01:12:39.000 in the middle of a suburb. 0.99

01:12:40.000 And they're essentially, they're going to war for garbage. 0.93

01:12:45.000 So like, you know, they claim either that or maybe one of the females is in heat. 0.99

01:12:49.000 But there's these two fucking huge bears. 0.97

01:12:52.000 And they're falling downstairs and they're out in the street. 0.99

01:12:55.000 And the people are filming them from their car.

01:12:57.000 I mean, these are big bears, right?

01:12:59.000 Are they brown bears or black bears?

01:13:01.000 There are all black bears in the United States until you get into the upper Northwest.

01:13:06.000 And then you see more of the grizzlies.

01:13:09.000 You only get grizzlies in like, so look at these bears.

01:13:12.000 Yeah, bro. 0.99

01:13:12.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:13:13.000 Fucking normal house, suburbs. 1.00

01:13:15.000 Or a couple of bears. 1.00

01:13:16.000 Look at the real estate sign out there. 1.00

01:13:19.000 The size of these fuckers dude. 1.00

01:13:20.000 They knocked over the sign there. 1.00

01:13:23.000 Whatever that was.

01:13:24.000 That was a light, I guess.

01:13:25.000 Look, the electrical cord.

01:13:26.000 Yeah.

01:13:27.000 Yeah.

01:13:27.000 Bro, it spills out into the street.

01:13:30.000 Dude, these guys go to war for like ten fucking minutes. 0.98

01:13:32.000 How long is this video? 0.99

01:13:33.000 Six minute video.

01:13:34.000 Look at this.

01:13:35.000 They get out and show them all when they're out in the street.

01:13:37.000 So people are filming them. 1.00

01:13:39.000 These fuckers tumble down the side of the hill. 1.00

01:13:41.000 They're still duking it out. 1.00

01:13:44.000 I've seen them come down the street and Yeah.

01:13:47.000 in the same Yeah, same place.

01:13:48.000 The size of these guys, man.

01:13:50.000 Dude.

01:13:51.000 Look at that.

01:13:51.000 Right by the mailbox.

01:13:52.000 Look at all the hair.

01:13:53.000 Oh yeah.

01:13:54.000 They're pulling each other's arms out.

01:13:55.000 And that's crazy?

01:13:56.000 Well, dude, and that's just because they're claws on accident. 1.00

01:13:59.000 The size of these fuckers. 1.00

01:14:01.000 Imagine that goes across your face or your skin. 1.00

01:14:03.000 Oh dude. 0.99

01:14:04.000 You're so dead.

01:14:05.000 Those are big bears too, man. 0.62

01:14:07.000 Dude, that guy is so nervous about his Volvo.

01:14:10.000 It's like, come on, don't go near it.

01:14:13.000 These people are so used to it.

01:14:14.000 These people who live in this area.

01:14:17.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:14:18.000 Dude, in the car just was like, Okay, we have to wait until it falls into the shrubs, and then I'm gonna gun it.

01:14:25.000 Hear those noises they make.

01:14:27.000 It's rrrr.

01:14:29.000 Imagine your little kids walking home from school.

01:14:31.000 You see these two bears. 0.99

01:14:32.000 And see two fucking huge bears in New Jersey? 0.99

01:14:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:14:38.000 Far, look, you hear the cars?

01:14:40.000 Yeah, look, cars driving by.

01:14:40.000 Yeah.

01:14:42.000 Oh, hi guys.

01:14:43.000 Stop, wow.

01:14:44.000 I'm going to go get a sandwich.

01:14:45.000 Yeah, you know we have bears now.

01:14:47.000 Far Rockaway.

01:14:47.000 Yeah.

01:14:48.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:14:50.000 Dude, yeah, that's. 1.00

01:14:51.000 Does not have the most black bears per capita.

01:14:54.000 I kept going it, and it's not even popping up in the top five or six.

01:14:54.000 I thought it did.

01:14:58.000 I would imagine for a dense human population makes its high bear population a significant concern for residents, particularly in the states. 1.00

01:15:05.000 Dude, Ted Nugent told me that.

01:15:07.000 I think these people are wrong.

01:15:08.000 The state's forest covered northwestern regions of have one of the highest concentrations of black bears in the nation with approximately 3,000 bears.

01:15:15.000 Did if Ted Nugent told you that, I think he's right.

01:15:18.000 Yeah.

01:15:19.000 The guy knows a thing or two.

01:15:20.000 High population density, concentration in the Northwest, increased sightings.

01:15:26.000 The other problem is they really don't have an accurate number.

01:15:30.000 Because in heavily wooded areas, when you want to do a census on animals, you're sending out wildlife biologists and they just have to count them.

01:15:38.000 And there's no way they can really count them correctly because you're dealing with dense woods.

01:15:42.000 And black bears are particularly difficult to find in the woods.

01:15:47.000 Their sense of smell is insane.

01:15:49.000 Their hearing is insane. 1.00

01:15:50.000 And when they hear people, they just get the fuck out of there. 0.99

01:15:53.000 Yeah, like in Michigan, you've seen them. 0.98

01:15:55.000 Like they come down because, you know, we're up by the Upper Peninsula and they'll come, you know, Canada and all that stuff.

01:16:00.000 But you do see them on occasion, but I guess they are becoming more and more, like they're moving more and more south towards the cities now.

01:16:10.000 Of course, because nobody's hunting them.

01:16:11.000 Yeah.

01:16:12.000 Which I think we should.

01:16:13.000 Yeah, you have to hunt them.

01:16:14.000 I mean, it's why you control the deer population.

01:16:14.000 Yeah.

01:16:17.000 It's like, that's what people have always known.

01:16:17.000 Yeah.

01:16:20.000 And, you know, somehow or another, liberals lost their minds and thought it was a bad idea to control predators.

01:16:27.000 Yeah, well, massive, huge predators.

01:16:30.000 Right, and it's like you realize, like, let's just say the deer is alone.

01:16:34.000 If you don't control it, you're just gonna have people smashing into them with their cars all day.

01:16:38.000 They're made of food.

01:16:40.000 Right, for you to eat.

01:16:41.000 Yeah.

01:16:42.000 You could go eat them.

01:16:43.000 Deer is delicious.

01:16:44.000 And if you've ever been in front of one with horns, like I was in the Rockies, my friend was all high, he got out of the cars, like, twenty years ago, and there's, like, I don't know, it wasn't, maybe it was a deer, but like an elk or something.

01:16:55.000 Probably had to be an elk.

01:16:57.000 Yeah.

01:16:57.000 Was it big?

01:16:58.000 Yeah, really big.

01:16:59.000 And he gets out, like, he's like, I'm gonna stand by and take a picture.

01:17:02.000 I'm like, I don't think you should do that.

01:17:03.000 And even then, I'm like, terrible idea.

01:17:06.000 And the thing just lowers its horns at him.

01:17:07.000 And I'm like, dude, get back to the car.

01:17:10.000 And we're like in a Jeep gunning it away from this thing chasing us. 0.99

01:17:13.000 This is a guy that is in his car and he's talking shit to this elk that's in the street in Yellowstone and it fucking jabs his tires. 0.99

01:17:21.000 It takes his tire out. 0.99

01:17:23.000 Just he doesn't even know what it's doing. 1.00

01:17:24.000 He's like, fuck! 0.99

01:17:26.000 You hear'ch'''cause it punctured his tire. 1.00

01:17:31.000 Dude, it just took him out the way a cops would with like a sneaky trip.

01:17:36.000 And then it's got a lens just getting ready to take you out.

01:17:39.000 It just stabbed his tire.

01:17:41.000 Ugh.

01:17:42.000 It's like you want to step outside now?

01:17:43.000 The scariest ones are moose.

01:17:45.000 If you ever What's that?

01:17:47.000 Is that you have the video of him taking out his car?

01:17:50.000 What's this?

01:17:50.000 Yeah.

01:17:51.000 Oh boy. 1.00

01:17:52.000 Look at the size of that fucker. 1.00

01:17:54.000 Woo! 1.00

01:17:55.000 Dude, you have a tree growing out of your head.

01:17:57.000 A sharpened tree.

01:17:59.000 Yeah.

01:18:04.000 Is it going for the tire?

01:18:08.000 I don't know if this is the one that cut the tire.

01:18:12.000 The other one was coming from the other side. 0.99

01:18:13.000 It was coming from the driver's side and the driver was talking shit to it. 0.99

01:18:16.000 But you get the point. 1.00

01:18:17.000 I think the driver was mocking an animal.

01:18:19.000 But the real dangerous ones are moose.

01:18:21.000 Yeah.

01:18:21.000 Because moose will actually stomp you.

01:18:24.000 They will go after you.

01:18:25.000 There's a lot of videos of people who think they're majestic and they're like eight feet away from them and it's like it's not bullwinkle it's an animal in the and then the next thing you hear is how they were killed.

01:18:35.000 Yeah it's not just that it's an animal that's like really good at stomping at oh boy does this guy get attacked?

01:18:42.000 I don't know it's just sometimes you just don't dude if I get an arrow you gotta you really gotta not miss Yeah, well this is rough too because he's coming straight at you and so you don't have a really good shot at his vitals so you have to take the most risky shot which is you're taking a frontal.

01:19:04.000 So what you're essentially, you have a very small arrow targeting, which is like the end of his beard.

01:19:09.000 Yeah.

01:19:10.000 So his hair comes down, like you want to get it right here.

01:19:13.000 So what you're trying to do is shoot this arrow through basically like a softball size hole, maybe a little bigger than a softball size hole, and it'll go straight through, slice through the heart, the lungs, everything.

01:19:25.000 It's the most deadly shot if you can land it.

01:19:28.000 Right.

01:19:28.000 But you got a 1800 pound animal coming at you.

01:19:33.000 You're shaking.

01:19:34.000 It's huge.

01:19:35.000 You're right in front of it.

01:19:37.000 It's 30 yards.

01:19:38.000 You're not sure that you could hit that spot because your arm is shaking.

01:19:40.000 Because your arms are shaking.

01:19:42.000 You're filled with adrenaline.

01:19:45.000 And you have to go for a softball sized spot on that thing. 1.00

01:19:48.000 You really want it to be standing sideways, but it's not standing sideways because it's moving towards you in an offensive way.

01:19:48.000 Yeah.

01:19:53.000 You should probably just get the fuck out of this. 0.98

01:19:55.000 Yeah, I would leave immediately. 0.99

01:19:56.000 Or get around a tree.

01:19:57.000 You want to get like where a tree is so you can stand behind the tree and like at least you can kind of maneuver a little bit.

01:20:03.000 Is their sight poor?

01:20:04.000 Oh, yeah, they don't have a good sight.

01:20:06.000 So that's kind of like the better way is to kind of get around. 1.00

01:20:08.000 They're kind of dumb. 1.00

01:20:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:20:09.000 Because they're so big, they don't have to be smart. 1.00

01:20:11.000 Yeah.

01:20:12.000 You know, and they don't, they don't have herds.

01:20:14.000 They're not like, you don't see herds of moose.

01:20:16.000 You see a bull moose, they're generally by themselves or maybe with a one or two others.

01:20:20.000 Okay.

01:20:20.000 Yeah.

01:20:21.000 I did not know that. 1.00

01:20:22.000 And then they come in and when they come in they're looking for pussy. 1.00

01:20:24.000 Eyes that this one stares at. 1.00

01:20:25.000 Oh, that's a. 1.00

01:20:26.000 Do you have a moose fucking you in the ass? 1.00

01:20:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:20:29.000 Staring right at your dog.

01:20:30.000 Oh dude.

01:20:31.000 And with those eyes. 1.00

01:20:32.000 And he's fucking you also. 1.00

01:20:34.000 You better have a fucking powerful bow. 1.00

01:20:36.000 You gotta get into that rib cage. 1.00

01:20:38.000 Those ribs are thick as shit. 0.99

01:20:40.000 So that spot is underneath that like beard and all that stuff that he's got right there. 0.99

01:20:45.000 It's right.

01:20:46.000 But if you hit an animal there, they die so quick.

01:20:46.000 Like all.

01:20:49.000 Really?

01:20:50.000 See Google frontal shot kill on elk.

01:20:56.000 There's a famous video of these kids bo hunting.

01:20:59.000 And this elk comes in and gives his kid a frontal shot and he takes it at like twenty yards and the elk just stands there and then blood starts spraying out of it and it just tips over.

01:21:08.000 Really?

01:21:09.000 Like right where it stands.

01:21:10.000 It's nuts.

01:21:11.000 It's the most lethal shot if you land it correctly.

01:21:15.000 But it's I've never taken it.

01:21:16.000 It's a tricky shot.

01:21:17.000 Like my friend Cam Haynes, probably the best bo hunter in the world.

01:21:21.000 He's taken frontal shots.

01:21:21.000 Okay.

01:21:23.000 But the last time he took one it was like at 10 yards.

01:21:25.000 Is that guy out of the game?

01:21:26.000 This isn't it.

01:21:28.000 This is, uh, this is not a frontal.

01:21:30.000 These are just Bills fighting.

01:21:32.000 Google, this is an elk.

01:21:35.000 Oh, insane frontal shot. 0.89

01:21:37.000 Okay.

01:21:40.000 This isn't the one.

01:21:41.000 Nothing came up.

01:21:42.000 Well, nothing came up when I checked the thing you just said.

01:21:45.000 So that's it, he got it right there.

01:21:46.000 So see how it spreads?

01:21:49.000 That was a perfect shot.

01:21:50.000 Oh, perfect shot.

01:21:51.000 He got it right.

01:21:52.000 If you watch where the impact is, oh, that's Corey Jacobson.

01:21:57.000 Watch where the impact of the arrow is.

01:22:00.000 It's right at the bottom of the beard.

01:22:01.000 See where it is?

01:22:02.000 Like right at the bottom of the beard.

01:22:03.000 That's perfect.

01:22:04.000 That's a perfect shot.

01:22:05.000 So that goes into the body cavity, severes all the arteries. 0.86

01:22:09.000 That bull's dead in seconds.

01:22:12.000 But this animal seems kind of like.

01:22:14.000 That's crazy.

01:22:15.000 Yeah, this it doesn't seem as good aggressive though as that moose.

01:22:18.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:22:19.000 They're not aggressive.

01:22:20.000 They're looking for other elk.

01:22:22.000 He's looking for love.

01:22:23.000 Yeah.

01:22:23.000 That's what he's looking for.

01:22:24.000 Looking for love or a fight.

01:22:26.000 Yeah.

01:22:26.000 Okay.

01:22:27.000 Because the moose looks like he just wants to kill the guy in the video.

01:22:30.000 Oh, they did.

01:22:30.000 Or at least attack him.

01:22:32.000 No, they'll kill you. 1.00

01:22:33.000 They will kill you. 0.98

01:22:33.000 I mean, I'm sure elk have killed people before, but they don't want to. 0.98

01:22:37.000 A moose would chase you.

01:22:37.000 Right.

01:22:38.000 A moose would chase you and stomp you.

01:22:38.000 Yeah.

01:22:40.000 especially a female moose that has her babies, You better stay the fuck away from her. 1.00

01:22:46.000 Dude, yeah, no. 1.00

01:22:47.000 They will stomp you out of it.

01:22:48.000 My buddy was chased on horseback.

01:22:50.000 He barely got away from a cow moose.

01:22:52.000 Seriously, going after him?

01:22:53.000 Yeah, going after him because it had calves with him, with her.

01:22:57.000 Yeah.

01:22:57.000 And she was protecting her calves and he was on a horse.

01:23:00.000 And she looks at that horse like that's that might be an animal.

01:23:03.000 One that wants to stomp my babies. 1.00

01:23:05.000 And so she full clip, chased after him. 0.98

01:23:07.000 He's like, I barely got away.

01:23:09.000 Where was this at?

01:23:10.000 Edmonton.

01:23:11.000 Was it Edmonton?

01:23:12.000 No, BC.

01:23:13.000 BC.

01:23:13.000 Okay, yeah.

01:23:14.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

01:23:15.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

01:23:16.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:23:18.000 I would be terrified if I had to try to make that shot at a moose coming at me that size.

01:23:23.000 It's a sketchy shot.

01:23:25.000 It's a sketchy shot.

01:23:26.000 And it depends on what kind of broadhead you have too.

01:23:28.000 Can you do it with a gun?

01:23:29.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

01:23:30.000 Oh, with a gun, you could shoot him anywhere. 0.99

01:23:31.000 Yeah, I guess that's true. 1.00

01:23:33.000 With a gun, you just go through the shoulders.

01:23:35.000 I just didn't know if it was like maybe arrow length or the reason it sticks in or something.

01:23:39.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:23:41.000 You should, you could definitely do that with a gun.

01:23:42.000 The thing about an arrow is you only have so much energy.

01:23:47.000 like from a bow. 1.00

01:23:49.000 So if like you hit one of those big shoulder bones like you're you're fucked. 1.00

01:23:53.000 It's not going to kill the animal. 0.99

01:23:54.000 You're probably barely going to feel it.

01:23:56.000 So you have to be behind the shoulder.

01:23:58.000 You have to and then you, you know, if you don't have enough power, if you center punch a rib, probably not going to get a lot of penetration.

01:24:05.000 So you have to have a really powerful bow and a lot of guys stay away from mechanical broadheads.

01:24:10.000 They want like a really solid fixed blade broadhead.

01:24:13.000 It's a tricky kind of bow hunting.

01:24:16.000 Yeah, that's cool though.

01:24:17.000 You're bow hunting something that can kill you.

01:24:19.000 Yeah, which is that's game.

01:24:21.000 I mean, that's exciting.

01:24:23.000 That's why people like bear hunting.

01:24:26.000 Unless you're the grizzly man guy who just is one of my favorite movies ever.

01:24:31.000 Because it's just I'm convinced Werner Herzog made that movie as a comedy.

01:24:37.000 Oh, I think he did too.

01:24:38.000 Yeah.

01:24:39.000 I'm surprised.

01:24:40.000 Like he says the ending is not the real footage.

01:24:43.000 No, there's no actual audio footage of that guy that's available.

01:24:48.000 If you listen online, footage that says it is, it's not real.

01:24:53.000 You can kind of tell they're acting.

01:24:55.000 He told the lady to destroy the actual audio. 0.72

01:24:58.000 That's what I heard, yeah.

01:24:59.000 The lens cover was on the camera, but it there is audio and it's a long audio because bears don't kill you.

01:25:05.000 They just start eating.

01:25:06.000 Right.

01:25:07.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:25:08.000 They just hold you down and eat you until you die.

01:25:11.000 Which is apparent to that guy who was going around elementary schools telling people how bears aren't dangerous. 1.00

01:25:17.000 Yeah, that fucking guy. 0.99

01:25:18.000 And then they're like, it's hibernation season. 1.00

01:25:20.000 You should go.

01:25:20.000 And he's like, no, but I got peanut and sprinkles and cocoa and they all love me.

01:25:24.000 He had all these little names for them.

01:25:26.000 It was Suicide by Bear.

01:25:28.000 Oh yeah.

01:25:28.000 I mean, you can't just hang out there with It was that whole movie is just they said, like, I love when they're like, we think they think the bear like the bears just thought he was basically retarded meat.

01:25:39.000 Remember when the sheriff said that?

01:25:41.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:25:42.000 Well, I thought he was retarded. 1.00

01:25:44.000 Yeah. 0.79

01:25:44.000 I think it's just the way the movie is made. 0.79

01:25:48.000 It's just, there's too many times where someone says something ridiculous and then there's a smash cut.

01:25:52.000 I'm like, this guy's doing this on purpose. 0.53

01:25:54.000 Like, he wants you to laugh.

01:25:55.000 It's funny.

01:25:56.000 It's got to be because he's like slapping a bear on the nose and he's like, No Skittles.

01:26:00.000 And then just turning around and doing the interview.

01:26:02.000 And you're just waiting for him to die, basically.

01:26:04.000 I have to be a warrior.

01:26:06.000 I have to let them know.

01:26:07.000 I stand my ground.

01:26:08.000 I love you, Bear.

01:26:08.000 I love you.

01:26:10.000 I'm a warrior.

01:26:11.000 I'm just gonna put my tent here.

01:26:13.000 This is gonna be what you'll consider a plate and I'm just gonna hang out.

01:26:16.000 It's a burrito.

01:26:17.000 There's meat inside.

01:26:22.000 His girlfriend got killed too, which is really surprising.

01:26:24.000 I'm surprised that, yeah, she had a girlfriend.

01:26:26.000 One, he had one, and two, she was like, She's probably surprised too.

01:26:29.000 Yeah.

01:26:30.000 I'll. 1.00

01:26:30.000 Is this guy gonna fuck me or is this Yeah, like I'm sure he didn't fuck her. 1.00

01:26:35.000 He didn't seem like that kind of guy. 1.00

01:26:36.000 He definitely had her killed. 0.99

01:26:37.000 He definitely seemed gay. 0.99

01:26:38.000 Yeah.

01:26:39.000 It seemed like that was part of his dilemma.

01:26:41.000 Like he wanted to be an actor and that didn't work for him.

01:26:44.000 So he started getting notoriety by being a bear expert.

01:26:47.000 Right.

01:26:48.000 But he wasn't really a bear expert. 1.00

01:26:49.000 No, he was just an idiot who would go into the forest and protect these bears. 1.00

01:26:53.000 He's really lucky. 1.00

01:26:54.000 The Forest Service won't protect him, you motherfuckers. 1.00

01:26:57.000 I'm protecting these bears. 1.00

01:26:59.000 You leave them alone.

01:27:01.000 But that dude got some amazing footage.

01:27:03.000 I'll tell you that. 0.88

01:27:04.000 His footage was fucking incredible because he was living with them. 0.98

01:27:08.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:27:08.000 So he got footage that nobody else was getting, like high resolution close-up footage of bear fights. 0.93

01:27:14.000 He became really good friends with a fox.

01:27:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:27:17.000 Foxes are fucking adorable. 0.99

01:27:19.000 They're like dogs, man. 0.99

01:27:21.000 Yeah.

01:27:21.000 They are the closest thing to like playful.

01:27:24.000 They play with you.

01:27:25.000 They stole his hat.

01:27:26.000 Yeah.

01:27:27.000 They would come hang out with him. 0.88

01:27:28.000 He could scratch their head.

01:27:29.000 Well, a lot of the people who find baby foxes and then just kind of raise them because their parents left them.

01:27:34.000 That's amazing.

01:27:35.000 There's an Instagram page that I follow.

01:27:39.000 Bedoo the Fox.

01:27:40.000 Check this out.

01:27:42.000 It's like a little tiny fox that this guy has raised.

01:27:44.000 Yeah.

01:27:45.000 And it's so adorable.

01:27:48.000 It's so adorable.

01:27:50.000 It's such a This is really cool.

01:27:52.000 So this guy brings this fox with him everywhere.

01:27:52.000 Here he is.

01:27:54.000 Look at that cute little fox.

01:27:56.000 He's so cute.

01:27:57.000 Yeah, they're adorable.

01:27:59.000 But he hides other stuff.

01:28:01.000 He's playful.

01:28:02.000 Yeah.

01:28:03.000 But this guy has this fox as a pet and, you know, and see, show the things where he's like cuddling with it.

01:28:10.000 Like he's, look at it.

01:28:11.000 Yeah, it's just a straight up fox.

01:28:12.000 He's a little buddy, yeah.

01:28:14.000 It's adorable, it's like an adorable little dog.

01:28:16.000 The reptilians are kind of funny too, when it just like learns how to open the fridge and take out a fox.

01:28:21.000 He's on a leash, he's walking like a fox on a leash. 0.99

01:28:24.000 But he has to put on a leash, because the fucker won't come back. 1.00

01:28:27.000 No, I'm free. 1.00

01:28:27.000 No. 1.00

01:28:28.000 Yeah, he's like, this is where I belong.

01:28:30.000 Yeah.

01:28:30.000 He's just trying to run from the guy, but he's on a leash.

01:28:32.000 Look at his face, aww.

01:28:34.000 He's the huge ears.

01:28:35.000 Incredible.

01:28:36.000 That thing probably hears a owl farting a mile away.

01:28:39.000 Like, look at his face so fucking cute man yeah they really are they're really cool animals yeah and people have done this where they raise them but yeah i think it's at least makes weird faces yeah i just think it's one of those things where you have to be around them all the time you know yeah i think if it's i guess i don't know but if it's abandoned young enough to where it's attached to you there's something there yeah no you definitely can raise them people have raised them but and people have raised coyotes that same way too oh yeah but you you have to be around them all the time

01:29:10.000 because they're wild yeah like you're just tricking them into like by constantly giving them food and attention so they feel like they don't have to do anything else that they really feel instinctual about doing, like going out and killing a cat.

01:29:23.000 Well, there's a there's a place called Oswald Bear Ranch.

01:29:23.000 Oh yeah.

01:29:26.000 Oh, look, he's got a cat.

01:29:29.000 This cute little fox is like half the size of the cat.

01:29:31.000 He wants to play with the cat.

01:29:35.000 It's adorable.

01:29:36.000 The cat is not like happy though.

01:29:39.000 No.

01:29:39.000 When you see a cat with its tail like that, that's a really pissed off cat.

01:29:42.000 Well, the cat doesn't want to play with its owner, let alone whatever that thing is.

01:29:45.000 Well, the cat looks like it's on a surprise.

01:29:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:29:48.000 The cat's fat as fuck. 1.00

01:29:48.000 It is. 1.00

01:29:50.000 Yeah.

01:29:50.000 It was actually a male cat does not identify that way anymore.

01:29:54.000 That cat is a school shooter. 0.97

01:29:55.000 Is it going to the po go to the pound, shoot it up. 1.00

01:29:58.000 Just going to take out everybody at the pet store.

01:30:01.000 Just one after the other. 0.99

01:30:04.000 The story of wolves, like how we turn wolves into dogs is pretty fucking insane. 0.55

01:30:08.000 It is amazing how we do just kind of have these wolves in our house, but we made them cuter by design over centuries. 0.68

01:30:16.000 This is my wolf poodle, which is essentially what it is.

01:30:20.000 It's incredible.

01:30:21.000 Well, and then you get them down to like I have a King Charles Spaniel.

01:30:25.000 You know what those things are?

01:30:26.000 Yep.

01:30:27.000 He's that big.

01:30:27.000 Yeah.

01:30:28.000 He's the fucking cutest thing on earth. 0.98

01:30:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:30:30.000 That, if you go far enough back, that's a wolf. 0.99

01:30:33.000 Oh, yeah.

01:30:35.000 How did they do that?

01:30:36.000 I have a King Charles Spaniel.

01:30:38.000 Charles's annual poodle.

01:30:39.000 Ah.

01:30:40.000 Yeah.

01:30:40.000 And his name is Higgins.

01:30:41.000 As if the King Charles Spaniel wasn't gay enough. 0.99

01:30:44.000 I had to make sure he wears bow ties. 0.98

01:30:44.000 Exactly. 0.98

01:30:47.000 You know, like a wolf would.

01:30:50.000 Bow ties.

01:30:51.000 Oh my gosh.

01:30:51.000 Whenever you get his haircut, they put him in a bow tie.

01:30:54.000 That's adorable.

01:30:55.000 And I'm just like, it's so cute, but it's also the case.

01:30:58.000 Oh, that's adorable.

01:30:59.000 But yeah, his name is Higgins and he's the best dog, but he's small.

01:31:03.000 And I've always had big dogs.

01:31:04.000 And I kinda just like the fact that he's kind of small and just really wants to sit there.

01:31:09.000 He just wants to chill.

01:31:10.000 He'll go for a walk, but he's not dying to.

01:31:13.000 The breed the furthest removed and physically characteristic by wolves is the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

01:31:19.000 Yeah, mine's, mine's called the Cavapoo.

01:31:21.000 That's the one I have.

01:31:22.000 Yeah, I have a mix of that and a poodle.

01:31:24.000 The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, one of the most popular breeds in UK and US, probably because of their lap dog reputation.

01:31:30.000 Yeah.

01:31:30.000 They're adorable dogs.

01:31:31.000 Oh, they're so sweet.

01:31:33.000 I love them, man.

01:31:34.000 That's the furthest removed physically and characteristically from a wolf.

01:31:37.000 Yeah.

01:31:38.000 It has, I mean, he's funny.

01:31:40.000 Like, he'll grab his toy.

01:31:42.000 He's got this lamb and he'll just like jump in the window at giant dogs and just start shaking it and like try to intimidate them.

01:31:47.000 That's funny. 1.00

01:31:48.000 And I'm like, you're in a fucking little bow tie. 1.00

01:31:50.000 He looks so gay. 1.00

01:31:51.000 He's probably trying to play with them. 0.99

01:31:52.000 Because my dog loves to play with w Marshall, my golden.

01:31:56.000 Dude, it's very like he's very good friends.

01:31:58.000 Yeah, he's very playful.

01:31:59.000 Yeah.

01:31:59.000 Yeah, because we have, I'm just going to announce all the more dogs that I have and feel worse as this goes.

01:32:06.000 A heavenese.

01:32:07.000 What's that?

01:32:07.000 It's like a little, we don't have the long hair cut on it, but you know those long hair, like almost show dogs?

01:32:14.000 Okay.

01:32:15.000 And it's, yeah, just a heavenese puppy.

01:32:18.000 Oh, wow.

01:32:19.000 But we have, see the like top right corner?

01:32:22.000 She looks like that.

01:32:24.000 So, that's the other dog.

01:32:26.000 And she's the best. 0.96

01:32:27.000 And she's insane. 1.00

01:32:28.000 Like, not the smartest dog you'll ever meet.

01:32:32.000 I love her meat and that's one of the things I love about her.

01:32:34.000 Well, they don't have to be smart.

01:32:35.000 No.

01:32:36.000 It's like rich kids on trust funds. 0.99

01:32:37.000 They're not so fucking smart either. 0.99

01:32:39.000 Yeah, they're the most privileged of the dog community. 1.00

01:32:41.000 Yeah.

01:32:41.000 Yeah, there's no doubt about that.

01:32:43.000 Most likely to be a they them. 1.00

01:32:44.000 Yeah.

01:32:46.000 That's all they them.

01:32:47.000 They're not poor kids. 1.00

01:32:48.000 No, well, we're the ones cutting off their balls and spying them. 1.00

01:32:51.000 Right. 1.00

01:32:51.000 Yeah, they're all. 1.00

01:32:52.000 They're all too, right?

01:32:52.000 They're all trans.

01:32:53.000 Yeah, they're all a little angry at us. 1.00

01:32:56.000 My dogs have their balls. 1.00

01:32:57.000 Oh, do they really? 0.99

01:32:58.000 Always.

01:32:59.000 Yeah.

01:32:59.000 I don't fix my dogs.

01:33:01.000 See, we had already had them fixed when we got them.

01:33:03.000 I had a really good vet when I first moved to LA and I always thought you have to fix dogs.

01:33:07.000 Because they're like Bob Barker.

01:33:07.000 Yeah.

01:33:09.000 Spying new to your pets.

01:33:10.000 Yep.

01:33:10.000 Yeah.

01:33:11.000 Bob Barker was always at the end of every show.

01:33:13.000 Yep.

01:33:14.000 Turn your pets trans. 1.00

01:33:15.000 What about just don't be a irresponsible dog owner and let your dog have puppies that nobody wants. 1.00

01:33:20.000 What about you just be a responsible dog owner and let your dog have its natural fucking hormones. 1.00

01:33:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:33:26.000 Because when you cut their balls off, they get tired. 1.00

01:33:29.000 They get depressed, they have no energy. 1.00

01:33:31.000 There's testosterone.

01:33:31.000 Testosterone.

01:33:32.000 Yeah, gone.

01:33:33.000 What happens to people when their testosterone goes?

01:33:35.000 You get depressed.

01:33:36.000 You get depressed and you have no energy.

01:33:36.000 Yeah.

01:33:38.000 That's the same shit that happens to your dog. 1.00

01:33:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:33:41.000 And that's why he's in a bow tie.

01:33:43.000 And my vet was, he told me that.

01:33:44.000 I was like, I can't believe it.

01:33:45.000 He goes, look, nobody wants to hear it.

01:33:46.000 Everybody wants to tell you.

01:33:47.000 Spam and new to your dogs.

01:33:49.000 But characteristically, if you look at how a dog behaves, I see a change.

01:33:53.000 The moment they cut now, look, if you have an overly aggressive dog, that's a different story.

01:33:58.000 If you have a dog that you probably should train, that's probably what it is. 0.96

01:34:03.000 Probably needs obedience training and probably needs a lot of attention and probably needs a lot of exercise, but if you cut your dog's balls off, it won't be the same dog. 0.87

01:34:10.000 No. 0.58

01:34:11.000 And I mean, the next dogs I have, I probably won't.

01:34:14.000 You know, but it's just something that you're used to for so long.

01:34:16.000 And like with Bob Barker, I get control of the pet population so there's not dogs running all over the streets that have to be euthanasied all the time.

01:34:22.000 Yeah.

01:34:23.000 But if it's not, it's terrible.

01:34:24.000 If it's your own dog, though.

01:34:25.000 But again, that's just bad bad dog owners. 0.93

01:34:27.000 Yeah, that's what I mean.

01:34:28.000 It's just like people are bad parents and their kids wind up, you know, joining a gang and shooting people up. 1.00

01:34:35.000 It's like, it's a lot of the same kind of shit, man. 1.00

01:34:37.000 It's the same, it's literally the same thing. 0.99

01:34:39.000 I mean, when you, like, years ago they were doing articles, not to bring it back to my hometown, but like in Detroit where you would see dog gangs roving together, they take over a house and like, you know, they, I remember one house was like filled with pit bulls and stuff, but it was a black lab that was like the king's shed at this house.

01:34:58.000 Really?

01:34:58.000 Yeah, it was crazy.

01:35:00.000 And but probably the smartest one.

01:35:01.000 I think that it must have been that. 0.97

01:35:03.000 Because like when like Rolling Stone, I think it was, showed up and they were like, holy shit, it's a black lab that's in charge of like all these pit bulls and that was like their king. 0.98

01:35:11.000 And but to say Well, probably they're good hunters. 0.98

01:35:14.000 Maybe that's what it is.

01:35:15.000 Well, because you do.

01:35:16.000 The Labradors are hunting dogs.

01:35:18.000 Yeah.

01:35:18.000 Well, that's true.

01:35:19.000 Because like you would see just packs of dogs going down the street when it was at its most like empty.

01:35:25.000 God, I heard about a lady that got killed by a pack of dogs in Georgia a few years back.

01:35:29.000 Oh, they'll do it.

01:35:30.000 Yeah, wild dogs.

01:35:31.000 She was hiking and feral dogs attacked her.

01:35:34.000 Yeah.

01:35:35.000 And that's a rough way to go.

01:35:37.000 That's terrible.

01:35:38.000 A rough way to go.

01:35:39.000 Because there was probably a minute where she was like, Oh, dogs. 0.96

01:35:42.000 I doubt it.

01:35:43.000 Yeah.

01:35:44.000 I doubt it.

01:35:44.000 No, most people do get scared.

01:35:46.000 Yeah.

01:35:47.000 Yeah, well, especially if you're on like a mountain.

01:35:47.000 They should.

01:35:50.000 If you don't know the dog, like, it could be anything.

01:35:52.000 Yeah, never go up to a dog the way that people tell you that you should.

01:35:56.000 Put your hand out.

01:35:57.000 Yeah.

01:35:58.000 Look, I'm your body.

01:35:58.000 I'm your friend.

01:35:59.000 It's like just stand there.

01:36:01.000 Stand your ground.

01:36:01.000 Yeah.

01:36:02.000 Look at it, keep an eye, and hopefully have a gun.

01:36:06.000 Yeah.

01:36:08.000 Hopefully have a gun. 0.99

01:36:10.000 I just shot your doodle. 0.98

01:36:11.000 I overreacted.

01:36:12.000 But yeah, there's those you can't, but.

01:36:14.000 That's a problem too.

01:36:15.000 Yeah.

01:36:16.000 But yeah, when you just stand there and kind of let the dog smell you, that's what they do.

01:36:19.000 That's right.

01:36:20.000 They just want to get to know who you are, so let them.

01:36:22.000 And just kind of, yeah, keep an eye., don't act scared.

01:36:25.000 What you shouldn't do is run and start screaming.

01:36:28.000 Yeah.

01:36:28.000 No, they like that.

01:36:29.000 They think it's fun.

01:36:29.000 Yeah.

01:36:31.000 They think it's a play.

01:36:32.000 Yeah.

01:36:32.000 Or a time to play.

01:36:33.000 They're going to kill you and have fun.

01:36:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:35.000 Yay.

01:36:36.000 Look, this is, we got a screamer. 0.98

01:36:37.000 Boys.

01:36:40.000 Hey.

01:36:41.000 As if there's not enough problems in the world, do you have to worry about roving packs of wild dogs taking folks out?

01:36:48.000 And bears fighting in your cul de sac.

01:36:50.000 Yeah.

01:36:50.000 You don't see that at all.

01:36:51.000 They're trying to bring bears back to certain states now. 1.00

01:36:54.000 They're trying to reintroduce grizzly bears, these fucking dorkes. 1.00

01:36:57.000 Why do they reintroduce animals that went extinct in an area for a reason? 1.00

01:37:01.000 That's why they're so excited.

01:37:02.000 Well, they didn't go extinct, they were made extinct.

01:37:05.000 Right, like California California has a grizzly bear on its flag.

01:37:05.000 Yeah.

01:37:09.000 Right.

01:37:10.000 But there's no grizzlies in California because they killed them all because they were killing all these people.

01:37:14.000 Right.

01:37:15.000 The last guy that got killed in California by a grizzly bear, they actually named a town after him.

01:37:20.000 Really?

01:37:21.000 Lavec, California.

01:37:22.000 Is it named after a guy that was murdered by a grizzly bear?

01:37:24.000 His name was Steven Lavec.

01:37:26.000 Yeah.

01:37:26.000 He was the last man in California to be killed by a grizzly bear before they killed them all.

01:37:32.000 Are they trying to bring him back to California?

01:37:33.000 Yeah, of course they are.

01:37:34.000 Oh, that's smart.

01:37:35.000 Look, they brought wolves back to Detroit. 1.00

01:37:37.000 They brought wolves to an area of Colorado that's right outside of Aspen and people are losing their fucking minds. 1.00

01:37:47.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:37:48.000 Because they brought these wolves that they had captured in Oregon because they were killing cattle.

01:37:52.000 Yeah.

01:37:53.000 And then they reintroduced them to Colorado where they ski.

01:37:56.000 Wait for it, kill cattle.

01:37:58.000 They've been killing cattle like crazy. 0.99

01:38:00.000 They brought them out to like these ranching areas and they've killed so many cows out there, man.

01:38:06.000 I have a buddy who has a ranch out there.

01:38:08.000 He sends me pictures all the time of these cows that they find just torn apart.

01:38:12.000 Yeah.

01:38:12.000 Like baby cows, calves just ripped to shreds.

01:38:15.000 Oh.

01:38:16.000 Yeah.

01:38:16.000 Well, they did the same.

01:38:18.000 I want to say it was like near Dollywood.

01:38:20.000 Didn't they do that too?

01:38:21.000 Or like wolves had finally gone away in that area in the mountains?

01:38:25.000 Where's Dollywood?

01:38:26.000 It's near, it's in Tennessee, near.

01:38:29.000 Is there wolves in Tennessee?

01:38:30.000 I think they tried to reintroduce them.

01:38:32.000 Any red wolves?

01:38:33.000 Yeah, like I took a tour through the forest.

01:38:35.000 Like I had to go.

01:38:36.000 I didn't want to go.

01:38:36.000 It wasn't my thing, believe it or not.

01:38:39.000 But I went, we went as like a family trip.

01:38:42.000 And, you know, it's, it's terrible.

01:38:45.000 And somebody recognized me and that was the worst.

01:38:48.000 It was at like a fake Dolly Parton show.

01:38:51.000 Oh, but like, are you Dave Landau? 1.00

01:38:53.000 I'm like, oh fuck, really now? 0.99

01:38:55.000 So, but we went through the forest. 0.99

01:38:57.000 and they were saying that they were reintroducing animals into that area.

01:39:01.000 And it's like, why would you do that?

01:39:03.000 And I guess they had just taken down like a Krispy Kreme because like bears just destroyed it?

01:39:08.000 Well, that wouldn't be reintroduction.

01:39:10.000 That area the bears have always been there.

01:39:11.000 Okay.

01:39:12.000 But if they're reintroducing a wolf, it has to be the red wolf.

01:39:15.000 Okay.

01:39:16.000 The red wolf is endangered and it's a small wolf.

01:39:18.000 It's a wolf that's like maybe the size of a large coyote.

01:39:22.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:39:23.000 Red wolves are returning to the Smoky Mountains.

01:39:24.000 There you go, yeah.

01:39:25.000 Yeah, but it's like that, that photo is a little deceptive.

01:39:29.000 When you see a red wolf, they're pretty small.

01:39:32.000 Like, what is the average size of a red wolf?

01:39:35.000 Google that, Jamie.

01:39:36.000 Yeah, like that picture of the bear walking.

01:39:39.000 We saw that a lot just walking down, like while we were there.

01:39:42.000 Oh, you're going to see a lot of bears.

01:39:43.000 And they'd be like 50 to 60 pounds.

01:39:45.000 Yeah, they'd be like tumbling like cubs and stuff down the road.

01:39:49.000 That's like a red wolf, it's probably, you know, it's a 50 pound animal.

01:39:52.000 Okay, so.

01:39:53.000 They're not they're not a gray wolf.

01:39:55.000 Yeah, it's not. 1.00

01:39:56.000 Gray wolves are fucking scary. 0.99

01:39:57.000 Terrifying. 1.00

01:39:58.000 Yeah.

01:39:58.000 They're big.

01:39:59.000 Yeah, I would not want to go, I don't know, that's a scary animal.

01:40:03.000 Any time I've seen one, they just don't look friendly and I don't.

01:40:07.000 Well, I mean, they killed them off for a reason. 0.97

01:40:09.000 The reason why, I mean, look, Little Red Riding Hood, fucking there's all these stories with kids where they get eaten by wolves. 0.99

01:40:15.000 Because wolves eat kids.. 0.97

01:40:17.000 Well, yeah, it was a way to scare the kids into being aware of what was going on.

01:40:21.000 Bro, do you know the World War One story?

01:40:23.000 No.

01:40:23.000 Okay.

01:40:24.000 World War One, the Germans and the Russians had a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves.

01:40:32.000 They made an agreement to have a ceasefire and kill the wolves and then go back to fighting.

01:40:37.000 Seriously?

01:40:37.000 Yeah.

01:40:39.000 Because they were in trench warfare.

01:40:41.000 So they're in Russia and Russia has big wolves.

01:40:44.000 Yeah, huge.

01:40:45.000 So what happens with animals, with warm blooded animals, is the more north the animal goes, the larger its body size is.

01:40:52.000 Okay.

01:40:53.000 And they think it's to retain heat.

01:40:55.000 So if you look like a deer and like let's say a white tailed deer.

01:41:00.000 A white tailed deer that you see in Texas is a small deer.

01:41:04.000 Like if I see a white tailed deer, generally, like I see them all the time on my way to work.

01:41:04.000 Yeah.

01:41:08.000 A white tailed deer might, a female might be like fifty, sixty pounds, a male might be a hundred, one hundred and twenty pounds.

01:41:14.000 In Saskatchewan, you might get a three hundred pound white tail.

01:41:14.000 Yeah.

01:41:19.000 Okay.

01:41:19.000 They're way bigger.

01:41:20.000 Yeah.

01:41:21.000 way bigger.

01:41:21.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:22.000 Okay.

01:41:23.000 Wolves do the same thing.

01:41:25.000 They're bigger up there.

01:41:26.000 They're bigger animals up there.

01:41:28.000 Like bears are bigger.

01:41:30.000 Polar bears are huge.

01:41:31.000 Yeah.

01:41:31.000 Polar bears are in their natural state.

01:41:33.000 Yeah, they have to retain heat.

01:41:34.000 Yeah.

01:41:35.000 So when you go to northern kind of climates, when you're dealing with an animal in northern climates, that's going to be a bigger version of that animal.

01:41:45.000 So if you see a wolf in like Alberta, yeah.

01:41:49.000 That's going to be a bigger wolf than a wolf that you'd see in Mexico.

01:41:52.000 Those are smaller wolves.

01:41:53.000 Right, because they don't have to survive in the same elements.

01:41:56.000 Exactly.

01:41:56.000 They don't.

01:41:57.000 Yeah.

01:41:57.000 It's also there's no benefit to to have a large size of your body to retain, maintain heat.

01:42:03.000 That's why moose are in the most upper north part of the country.

01:42:06.000 Yeah.

01:42:07.000 They're the largest of all the deer species.

01:42:10.000 Oh, that would make sense though.

01:42:11.000 Yeah.

01:42:12.000 Like elk are like larger than deer. 0.92

01:42:15.000 You know, it's like, and then the elk that are the further north, like those like Montana, some giant fucking elk, Wyoming, giant elk. 0.90

01:42:23.000 And that's the, you know.

01:42:25.000 Yeah, when you get towards Canada too, a lot of those places where it's just cold, you get those massive animals.

01:42:30.000 Yep, yep, yep.

01:42:32.000 And what were we talking about that I brought that up?

01:42:35.000 We were talking about wolves.

01:42:36.000 Wolves, the one, the red wolf being brought back to Kentucky.

01:42:40.000 Yeah, so those are small because they're in like a warm climate.

01:42:43.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

01:42:44.000 Yeah.

01:42:44.000 It's just odd to me to think that when you even hear the word wolf, like we're just going to going to reintroduce it to this tourist area.

01:42:51.000 It's like, it seems bad.

01:42:52.000 Well, it's all these people that are liberals that are like sweet, kind people that like, this is Jared Polis, the governor of Colorado.

01:43:00.000 He's a nice guy.

01:43:01.000 He's a sweet guy.

01:43:02.000 Yeah.

01:43:02.000 He just posted some really kind tweet the other day, like, oh, he seems like a good guy.

01:43:09.000 But hey, don't bring wolves back to ranching areas. 0.99

01:43:11.000 Because like, you can have these idealistic, utopian views, utopia based views of what you think a wolf would be like back in the wild.

01:43:19.000 But no, they're going to, they take the easiest path possible.

01:43:22.000 The easiest path possible.

01:43:23.000 Oh, there's a bunch of animals that are stuck in a fenced in area that I don't know. 0.98

01:43:26.000 If I had a fenced in area that I could just hop over, I'll just go kill one and eat it. 0.93

01:43:30.000 And that's what they do. 0.60

01:43:31.000 And so these farmers now have to hire people 24/7 to be patrolling around their animals.

01:43:36.000 So it's a they're already operating at a very low margin, right?

01:43:40.000 If you're a farmer and a rancher, you lose a bunch of cows. 1.00

01:43:44.000 You're fucked. 1.00

01:43:44.000 So now the state has to compensate them for depredation. 1.00

01:43:47.000 So every time a wolf kills a cow, they compensate them.

01:43:50.000 would cost the state more money.

01:43:51.000 Oh, so they got to pay for the...

01:43:54.000 And then now they have depredation permits on some of these wolves because they're repeat offenders.

01:43:58.000 So now they're trying to kill these wolves that they've spent millions and millions of dollars reintroducing to Colorado. 0.98

01:44:05.000 And it's all silly people. 0.98

01:44:07.000 It's what's called ballot box. 0.98

01:44:09.000 biology.

01:44:09.000 Yeah.

01:44:11.000 Wildlife conservationists and hunters and people that are spending time in the woods, they hate it.

01:44:16.000 They hate it because it's mostly uninformed people that think they're doing a good thing.

01:44:20.000 Like, let's stop trophy hunting.

01:44:23.000 Yeah, we have to.

01:44:24.000 Yeah, we have to stop hunters.

01:44:26.000 Hunters are evil. 1.00

01:44:28.000 Like, no bitch, bears are evil. 1.00

01:44:30.000 They will fucking eat you asshole first, in front of your kids. 1.00

01:44:33.000 They don't care. 1.00

01:44:34.000 Well, it's like when they put in an insect to kill an insect that's getting out of control.

01:44:39.000 Always works bad.

01:44:39.000 Yeah, so like in Michigan it was like ladybugs, but all of a sudden now there were ladybugs everywhere and this kind could bite you.

01:44:46.000 So they were some kind of beetle that was this massive problem all of a sudden.

01:44:50.000 And it was to help control the fish fly problem or mayflies, people might know them as.

01:44:55.000 Yeah.

01:44:55.000 And they're just because you drive down to the water, dude, and it just, it's like, sounds like Rice Krispies as you drive because you're just hitting so many of these things.

01:45:04.000 But it didn't help that problem.

01:45:06.000 It just created a horrible beetle problem.

01:45:08.000 Yeah.

01:45:09.000 And then there was something else going on in the lake, so they introduced zebra muscles.

01:45:13.000 Oh yeah.

01:45:14.000 We did that out here too.

01:45:15.000 Dude, they destroyed boats.

01:45:17.000 They cut up people's feet that were swimming.

01:45:20.000 Yeah, it killed everything.

01:45:21.000 Yeah, it backfired completely.

01:45:22.000 And it's like, so you're just introducing this, like,, poison into the air and into the water that you think will benefit this.

01:45:29.000 Yeah.

01:45:29.000 So they have too much vegetation on some of these lakes.

01:45:32.000 So what they do is they sterilize carp and then introduce these sterilized carp, but sometimes they're not sterile.

01:45:37.000 And sometimes they just start breeding.

01:45:39.000 And then the carp basically eats all the vegetation.

01:45:42.000 And so then your entire lake looks like the bottom of a swimming pool.

01:45:45.000 Right.

01:45:45.000 It's gone.

01:45:46.000 There's no more grass.

01:45:47.000 So the fish don't know where to hide.

01:45:48.000 So it's, like, not as effective for them.

01:45:51.000 They don't get as big.

01:45:52.000 So all the bass fishermen are mad because there's no, like, habitat.

01:45:56.000 Right.

01:45:56.000 Yeah.

01:45:57.000 It's all fucked up. 0.99

01:45:58.000 And that's happened, yeah, with Michigans. 0.99

01:45:59.000 We do have a lot of fishermen, bass fishermen, you know, that go out there.

01:46:03.000 and you can go into pretty small pond areas and lakes because the Great Lakes and still catch some stuff.

01:46:07.000 But once you start messing with the habitat, it goes bad for a long time.

01:46:11.000 Oh yeah, man.

01:46:12.000 Well, look at Australia.

01:46:14.000 Australia has done a terrible job of introducing invasive species to combat problem animals.

01:46:19.000 Oh yeah.

01:46:20.000 And now they have feral cats that have essentially wiped out most of their ground nesting birds and all sorts of other things.

01:46:27.000 Cats are the worst, man.

01:46:29.000 Little, cute little house cats.

01:46:30.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:46:31.000 They are the worst murderers of all the animal kingdom.

01:46:34.000 Well, and they think birds are a nice present for you. 1.00

01:46:36.000 That's the first thing they're going to go after, just kill them. 0.99

01:46:39.000 Birds and rats. 1.00

01:46:40.000 Yeah.

01:46:41.000 And that's why like the crazy cat lady thing is a real thing too, because they also contain parasites. 1.00

01:46:47.000 And that parasite, toxoplasmosis, is it affects humans.

01:46:52.000 It affects behavior.

01:46:53.000 It makes you more impulsive, more aggressive.

01:46:56.000 Yeah.

01:46:56.000 Really?

01:46:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:46:58.000 It's a it's a crazy parasite that is at one point in time half of France had toxoplasmosis.

01:47:06.000 Really?

01:47:07.000 Yeah, yeah, because of of feral cats.

01:47:10.000 It might have been half of Paris or half of France.

01:47:12.000 I don't remember.

01:47:13.000 But a large in rural areas where you have a lot of feral cats.

01:47:18.000 Okay, I don't know if it was like Richard.

01:47:18.000 Okay.

01:47:19.000 Have you ever known people that have like outdoor cats?

01:47:22.000 They're very irrational.

01:47:23.000 Yes.

01:47:23.000 Mark Marin?

01:47:26.000 Those people probably have Toxo, which is why they're behaving weird.

01:47:30.000 Yeah.

01:47:31.000 Why was it?

01:47:32.000 Yeah, that's what's going on.

01:47:33.000 It's like, I guarantee if you test it, I might have it.

01:47:36.000 I had a feral cat.

01:47:38.000 I've never had a feral cat, but I've definitely had ones that would stop by the house.

01:47:42.000 I had a feral cat.

01:47:43.000 A friend of mine, and her and her boyfriend rescued a bunch of kittens that were under this building, and she, it was in Santa Monica, and she said, Do you want a kitten?

01:47:50.000 He was so cute, and I took him in, and I actually had to stay with this cat for like days in one of the rooms of my house because like when I picked him up he would purr and he'd be sweet.

01:48:00.000 As soon as I put him down he'd hiss at me and jump and leap away.

01:48:04.000 He was wild.

01:48:04.000 Like claws and everything.

01:48:06.000 It took a forever for me to just calm him down.

01:48:09.000 And then after a while, I could just come up to him and pick him up.

01:48:12.000 Like when he was a full grown cat, he was totally my friend.

01:48:15.000 But no one else, no one else could pet this cat.

01:48:19.000 Yeah.

01:48:19.000 You come up to my house, he would hiss at you like, like he was ready to go to war.

01:48:23.000 Which. 0.92

01:48:24.000 He was crazy. 0.90

01:48:25.000 But I would go, no dude, he was just wild. 0.90

01:48:27.000 He's wild.

01:48:28.000 And I'd pick him up and he'd start purring.

01:48:30.000 But he would purr like no other cat would purr.

01:48:32.000 Because when he knew that you just loved him and that you weren't going to eat him, when I picked him up, he just purr.

01:48:40.000 He was so happy to be held.

01:48:43.000 He was so happy to be pet.

01:48:45.000 But then as soon as I put him down, he would look at me sketchy and run away. 1.00

01:48:48.000 He was just fucked up, man. 1.00

01:48:49.000 My grandma had that. 1.00

01:48:50.000 She was crazy though.

01:48:51.000 Like she, like as she got older, she had like this old mansion.

01:48:56.000 And I don't know how she got it, but it was one of those things where like when you're Catholic, you just have 87 kids.

01:49:01.000 So the house was big, but now it looks huge to people.

01:49:04.000 So she just had cats?

01:49:05.000 Towards the end, she had a few cats and just she would have like those Tom and Jerry mouse holes in the house.

01:49:12.000 Like where you would see them coming and out of where they.

01:49:14.000 And dude, she would kept the spiders because they thought she thought it was part of the ecosystem. 0.96

01:49:20.000 Oh, great.

01:49:21.000 So you're looking up, like, I'd have to sleep there and I'm just, like, staring at a brown recluse, like, shaking at the age of, like, eight. 1.00

01:49:28.000 Those will fucking leave giant holes in you, man. 1.00

01:49:30.000 So they will kill it. 1.00

01:49:31.000 My brother got bitten by one and his leg turned into a softball and he had to go. 1.00

01:49:36.000 Yeah, she was nuts, dude. 0.99

01:49:37.000 Like she. 1.00

01:49:38.000 It's just necrotic.

01:49:39.000 Where it eats away the tissue.

01:49:39.000 Yeah.

01:49:41.000 Dude, and it went like that.

01:49:42.000 Like, he got bit and by the time he got to the hospital, it just kept getting big.

01:49:46.000 It went from like a golf ball to a softball to, like, and they had to hit him with all this, like, antivenom.

01:49:52.000 It was nuts, dude.

01:49:53.000 My friend Jeremy had a hole in his thigh where you had to stuff gauze in it because it was constantly oozing.

01:49:59.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

01:50:00.000 Like they start, it starts chewing away at your skin.

01:50:03.000 Yeah, it's necrosis.

01:50:05.000 Yeah, my brother's got a scar from it, dude. 0.54

01:50:07.000 It's disgusting. 0.99

01:50:08.000 Brown recluses are dangerous, man. 1.00

01:50:10.000 But she was not.

01:50:11.000 She had like a casino in her basement that she ran. 1.00

01:50:13.000 She taught us.

01:50:17.000 That sounds so fun.

01:50:18.000 It really was when we were kids too.

01:50:20.000 Like we're dealing like blackjack and playing slow.

01:50:23.000 She had a casino in her basement. 0.81

01:50:25.000 Yeah, it was fun.

01:50:26.000 Like, and then she was in, she was a recovering Elky. 1.00

01:50:28.000 Like, she had beads everywhere.

01:50:30.000 Like, I didn't know what that was then.

01:50:32.000 Oh, like 30 day beads.

01:50:33.000 Yeah, and like, so then later on, well, it was actually like for Mardi Gras.

01:50:37.000 She had all the stuff for Mardi Gras. 0.97

01:50:38.000 So later in my life, I'm like, oh, my grandma was a whore. 0.98

01:50:41.000 So, but I didn't realize it until later. 1.00

01:50:45.000 There's a cat lady whore with a fucking casino in her basement. 1.00

01:50:47.000 She's like a cat lady casino whore who thinks spiders are part of an ecosystem. 1.00

01:50:52.000 And she's kind of right. 0.99

01:50:53.000 I mean, she's not wrong.

01:50:54.000 They would eat the mosquitoes. 0.99

01:50:56.000 That was her thing.

01:50:57.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:50:57.000 But you'd also have like, I think it's a black widow in your garage. 0.96

01:51:00.000 And it's like, yeah, so don't go near it.

01:51:02.000 And I'm like, you want to protect your spider? 0.91

01:51:05.000 Like, she was just nuts, dude. 0.82

01:51:06.000 But, uh Yeah, she was in recovery, but then she also had an entire bar. 0.93

01:51:10.000 where you could just make drinks.

01:51:12.000 So we're like six and like looking through how to make some pudding martini.

01:51:20.000 It's so, it's so much fun.

01:51:21.000 So she kept the drinks even though she was clean? 0.55

01:51:24.000 Yeah, she was clean, yeah. 0.83

01:51:25.000 Wow.

01:51:25.000 I've done that too myself though, because if people come over I'm like, yeah, whatever you want, man.

01:51:29.000 Yeah, I stopped drinking and I have a full bar at my house.

01:51:32.000 Yeah.

01:51:32.000 I have a wine room.

01:51:33.000 It's like such a wasted room.

01:51:35.000 Yeah.

01:51:35.000 Just a room filled with bottles of wine that I now I'll never drink.

01:51:38.000 Yeah, I have, I have probably ten bottles and it's if someone wants one.

01:51:43.000 Yeah, come over.

01:51:44.000 Like, I'll judge you.

01:51:45.000 Yeah, like mine.

01:51:46.000 You sit there and drink and I'll judge you. 1.00

01:51:48.000 You'll start acting stupid. 0.99

01:51:49.000 Well, after my, like, last DUI was when I got it was like sixteen years ago and I had just built a bar in my basement and it's really nice and I still really like it. 0.98

01:51:59.000 But like, it was probably days later I got the DUI.

01:52:02.000 So I just like sit there and I'll just look at this bar and like, ah, it could have been Was that when you stopped drinking?

01:52:07.000 Yeah, it was my it was my thirteenth arrest.

01:52:09.000 It was my thirteenth arrest?

01:52:11.000 Yeah.

01:52:12.000 What was number one?

01:52:13.000 The day I got my driver's license.

01:52:15.000 No.

01:52:16.000 Yeah, for real.

01:52:18.000 What did you do?

01:52:20.000 My dad had got a Buick Regal and it was around November because I was born in June, but they didn't let me get my driver's license because my grades were so bad.

01:52:30.000 And we were having a family reunion.

01:52:32.000 So we had everyone at the house.

01:52:34.000 My dad, we thought was doing a little better and we all went out to eat and I'm like, hey, can I borrow the car?

01:52:38.000 And he's like, yeah.

01:52:40.000 So we get home and my aunt had blocked the driveway thinking that I would probably end up taking the car and like her son out who was from Arizona. 1.00

01:52:48.000 And the one side of my house was the house and then the other side was my neighbor's lawn with a small pine tree and like rose bushes and stuff.

01:52:56.000 He just drove through the house.

01:52:57.000 Yeah, I figured if I gingerly did it, it would be all right. 0.98

01:52:59.000 Dude, I fucked up her lawn. 0.99

01:53:02.000 We go, I can't pick up my friends. 0.99

01:53:05.000 We go down eight miles to this place called Piccadillyilly where we'd have this guy named Spider by, and he was fucking great. 0.73

01:53:12.000 He was this like a homeless dude who just was like, he'd always go, I'm Spider with a whh. 0.66

01:53:16.000 And he'd do that. 0.99

01:53:17.000 And then he was a total pervert. 0.99

01:53:19.000 He'd be like, he'd seriously offer to like, he'd be like, I'll jack you off too. 0.99

01:53:23.000 And we're like, we just want the beer.

01:53:24.000 But we do appreciate it.

01:53:26.000 Really, but thank you.

01:53:28.000 So like, he'd always be like, Somebody's got to come in with me to pick it up.

01:53:31.000 And we'd be fighting if we had to get out of the car to walk with this guy.

01:53:35.000 So we just bring the beer in.

01:53:37.000 We're driving around.

01:53:38.000 We start giving lawn jobs.

01:53:40.000 First, we did leaf pile fires because everybody would rake their leaves into the street.

01:53:45.000 So we started doing those, fun, good old-fashioned arson.

01:53:48.000 But usually it would stop pretty quickly.

01:53:50.000 Somebody would run out with a garden hose. 0.57

01:53:53.000 It totally was innocent until the one time it wasn't.

01:53:56.000 But we were driving around. 0.99

01:53:58.000 We went to some parties, smoking weed, all that shit. 0.97

01:54:01.000 And finally I get up on this one guy's lawn after a party. 0.98

01:54:05.000 He's got a Beamer 5 Series.

01:54:07.000 And I got my Regal, which it had a V6 turbocharged, which for a Buick, it wasn't bad for $9.

01:54:14.000 ninety eight But I got on this dude's lawn.

01:54:17.000 I see him sitting in his beamer.

01:54:19.000 And for some reason in my head, I'm just like, this guy's just going to sit here and take it.

01:54:23.000 So I just start giving him a lawn job.

01:54:25.000 I'm doing donuts.

01:54:26.000 You can hear grass hitting his car.

01:54:29.000 We get in a high speed chase with this dude.

01:54:32.000 Like, dude, I mean, like French connection style.

01:54:35.000 I hit, I swear, I hit this bump, man.

01:54:38.000 Four tires went off the ground because we just felt like the car popped to the ground.

01:54:42.000 And we get, we're just going all over the city. 0.99

01:54:44.000 My friends are like, let's just pull over and beat this shit out of him. 0.99

01:54:46.000 And I'm like, he could have a gun, you know? 0.99

01:54:49.000 So I finally go down this street that has like a bifurcation where it just splits immediately.

01:54:55.000 Like this, you have to go this way, this way.

01:54:57.000 You know what I mean?

01:54:58.000 And I didn't see it.

01:54:59.000 So I start braking because I'm going breaking it and the next thing I know the engine drops through the front of the car, all the airbags come out, I get cracked with an airbag and I'm unconscious like I'm not quite unconscious, I'm conscious just enough to see the BMW in my rear view drive away.

01:55:18.000 And then as I'm being knocked out, I hear all my friends and my own cousin leave.

01:55:25.000 Now here's the kicker.

01:55:27.000 We were having a family reunion.

01:55:28.000 I didn't realize that there was a bunch of cases of beer and liquor already in the trunk and chips and stuff.

01:55:34.000 So when I hit the tree, that popped open. 0.99

01:55:36.000 And it looked like I drove a Super Bowl party into the fucking tree. 0.99

01:55:40.000 There was just like beer and pop and chips and shit going down the street. 0.99

01:55:45.000 And finally, dude, I wake up from being unconscious and I get out of the car and there's a cop and my dad there.

01:55:52.000 When you wake up?

01:55:54.000 When I get up.

01:55:55.000 Like I had been that.

01:55:56.000 Dude, I got knocked out so hard by that airbag.

01:55:59.000 Oh, my God.

01:56:00.000 Because it just like all I could smell was that like burning talcum powder kind of smell.

01:56:06.000 Like that awful like...

01:56:08.000 want to say egggy almost it was just the worst smell but everybody else was able to run except me so it looked like i just bit it so i get out and i remember i look at my dad was and my dad wasn't violent.

01:56:19.000 He was in Nan, but he was never violent.

01:56:21.000 But I just look at him and I go, Dad, I'm okay.

01:56:23.000 And he goes, Great.

01:56:24.000 And he punched me in the face so hard that I hit the ground and was knocked out for the second time that night.

01:56:30.000 Oh, no.

01:56:31.000 Dude, he cracked me hard.

01:56:32.000 Did he give you a second commotion?

01:56:34.000 And I wake up.

01:56:34.000 That night.

01:56:35.000 That's not good.

01:56:36.000 No, dude.

01:56:37.000 No, he was pissed.

01:56:38.000 I get it.

01:56:39.000 Yeah.

01:56:40.000 But then I wake up and the cops have a light on me.

01:56:44.000 And I swear to God, the cop goes, He's waking up if you want to hit him again.

01:56:48.000 It's the first thing I hear.

01:56:50.000 And I'm like, You guys, I'm really in a lot of pain here. 0.98

01:56:53.000 And my dad like apologized, but he's like, Look, like, what the fuckck is wrong with you?

01:56:57.000 He was just furious and I had already been getting into dope and stuff and he was getting pretty pissed on me.

01:57:02.000 But I got the guess number one.

01:57:04.000 DUI and I got six months suspended license.

01:57:08.000 Wow.

01:57:08.000 I went in front of a referee, is what they called it for juveniles at Coleman A Young municipal, and They gave me six months suspended license.

01:57:16.000 Did you have to talk you out of it?

01:57:19.000 Oh, out of being arrested?

01:57:20.000 I mean, like, how's that?

01:57:23.000 No, my dad, I remember I was going to school one day and he goes, I just got the bill for the car.

01:57:27.000 I was like, yeah, he goes, it's 13,980 dollars here.

01:57:31.000 And I go, I don't have that money.

01:57:33.000 He goes, just show people so they know how proud I am of you.

01:57:36.000 I was like, thanks, thanks, dad.

01:57:38.000 But he was furious.

01:57:38.000 Wow.

01:57:40.000 I would imagine.

01:57:41.000 But he let it go, I mean, he let it go after that because we had alcoholism in our family.

01:57:45.000 I couldn't believe that you were doing donuts on this guy's lawn right in front of him.

01:57:49.000 Oh, dude, we did so much hit we shouldn't have done back then.

01:57:52.000 Was it just the crew you were hanging with?

01:57:54.000 Yeah, like it was fun.

01:57:55.000 Like, I dude, we all we all just kind of wanted to be thugs.

01:58:01.000 It was a little sad.

01:58:02.000 Well, it is Detroit.

01:58:03.000 Yeah, you want to be like you're in the suburbs, sort of.

01:58:06.000 Like, my house was in the suburbs, but you're literally three minutes from the most violent part of America at the time.

01:58:14.000 So you're on the border of the east side of Detroit.

01:58:17.000 So it's not like you can't hear gunshots.

01:58:19.000 You know what I mean?

01:58:19.000 It's like you're every drug and every party, you're going down to raves and warehouses that are owned by like the Russian mob.

01:58:27.000 Crazy. 0.99

01:58:28.000 Wow. 1.00

01:58:28.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 1.00

01:58:29.000 Dude, yeah. 1.00

01:58:30.000 When was you 18?

01:58:31.000 Oh, yeah.

01:58:31.000 17, 18, 16, all those years, dude.

01:58:34.000 99, 2000, huge rave culture.

01:58:37.000 And then when the new mayor came in, Kwame Kilpatrick, who ended up getting arrested and put in jail and then Trump pardoned.

01:58:47.000 He started the Detroit Electronic Music Festival.

01:58:49.000 So he capitalized on that.

01:58:51.000 Really?

01:58:52.000 Do you remember when Ford Focus basically, or Ford.

01:58:52.000 Yeah.

01:58:54.000 Ford put out the Detroit Electronic Music Festival Focus?

01:58:58.000 No.

01:58:59.000 Dude, it was basically a car designed for people on ecstasy.

01:59:03.000 Like, the whole thing was speakers.

01:59:06.000 Really?

01:59:07.000 Yeah, if you can find it, it's the Detroit, it was the Detroit, yeah, Electronic Music Festival Focus.

01:59:14.000 And the car was Was that a crazy sound system? 1.00

01:59:17.000 Yeah, because the car is a piece of shit. 1.00

01:59:18.000 So the whole thing is just speakers. 1.00

01:59:21.000 And the way they would do the ads, it was almost like, you go into a Are you on Eve?

01:59:25.000 Well, this car is great.

01:59:27.000 It has huge cup holders for your water.

01:59:29.000 It has great sound, you know.

01:59:30.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:59:31.000 Yeah.

01:59:32.000 They were capitalized on it.

01:59:34.000 And Hollywood did a little, because that's like when the movie Go came out.

01:59:34.000 On it.

01:59:38.000 And a lot of these movies that were almost.

01:59:40.000 It's with.

01:59:41.000 Go is the one where they're all.

01:59:45.000 I'm in that car first.

01:59:46.000 They're all trying to get ecstasy in it, and it's just like Katie Holmes and all these other people who are like, some are different stars and some are...

02:00:00.000 Oh, I know.

02:00:01.000 And the whole thing is about E. I'm trying to think of his name.

02:00:05.000 You'd know him from the store, plays a bouncer in it.

02:00:08.000 Vince Vaughn?

02:00:09.000 No, no, not Vince.

02:00:10.000 He's not really an actor.

02:00:12.000 He's more of a comic.

02:00:12.000 He used to work with Shamel, or not Shamel.

02:00:17.000 God, what is his name?

02:00:18.000 Blonde hair, older dude.

02:00:20.000 Jimmy Schubert?

02:00:21.000 Yes.

02:00:22.000 He plays a bouncer in it, yeah.

02:00:23.000 Jimmy's the best.

02:00:24.000 Yeah, he's great.

02:00:24.000 I did last comic with him, and he was a good dude.

02:00:26.000 Yeah, I love him.

02:00:26.000 Good dude.

02:00:27.000 Jimmy for 35 years.

02:00:29.000 Yeah.

02:00:29.000 30 no, 30 years?

02:00:30.000 Somewhere in there?

02:00:31.000 Yeah, he's a good dude, and he played a bouncer in it.

02:00:34.000 So yeah.

02:00:35.000 Where's that car?

02:00:36.000 Did you find it?

02:00:37.000 Well, I found it doesn't show.

02:00:40.000 I wonder how much they've scrubbed it, but if it's at the Detroit Music Festival.

02:00:45.000 It's like a 2001 article, but it's called a Ford Focus Futura.

02:00:47.000 For the Electronic Music Festival.

02:00:49.000 Futura.

02:00:51.000 Yeah.

02:00:52.000 Yeah, they've changed it up a bit with the Ventura, but yeah.

02:00:54.000 Go with speakers, right?

02:00:56.000 Speakers, interior.

02:00:58.000 It was great, because you'd be walking to this music festival in heart.

02:01:03.000 Yeah, see the JBL speakers that would never be used in a Ford Focus.

02:01:06.000 Oh, that's what they had in them?

02:01:09.000 They had like this.

02:01:09.000 Yeah.

02:01:10.000 Oh, so they had a badass sound system.

02:01:12.000 Right.

02:01:12.000 And it was just this.

02:01:13.000 Oh.

02:01:14.000 This terrible little hatchback, you know...

02:01:18.000 know car that a young person could afford with a killer sound system in case you wanted to listen to bad boy bill or fat boy slam and you so you got a arrested 13 times?

02:01:28.000 Yeah.

02:01:29.000 So what was number two?

02:01:31.000 Number two, let me think.

02:01:35.000 Two was an MIP.

02:01:38.000 What's that?

02:01:39.000 Minor in possession of alcohol.

02:01:41.000 Oh.

02:01:41.000 And then that one was, like, a lot of them were MIPs, four were DUIs.

02:01:46.000 And then four.

02:01:48.000 Yeah, and then I got arrested.

02:01:49.000 How are you still, how did you still have a license?

02:01:52.000 Most of it was as a minor, and then by the time I got my one as an adult, it like it had spanned enough to where in 2009 when I got arrested my last time and I decided to get sober, they couldn't technically put me in prison. 0.95

02:02:05.000 And I didn't want to go because I don't want to spend my days getting titty fucked by the Aryanan Brotherhood. 1.00

02:02:09.000 I know how I look. 0.99

02:02:11.000 So I I got clean.

02:02:14.000 But yeah, that one was the one that I took real seriously.

02:02:17.000 So what they did was they put an alcohol tether on my leg that would monitor if I was drinking.

02:02:22.000 And a breathilizer in my car.

02:02:24.000 So I would like, I'd have to blow start my car wherever I went.

02:02:28.000 You know, and like my friend Rob had that.

02:02:30.000 It would take like three minutes for him to start his car. 0.96

02:02:32.000 Dude, it sucked. 0.58

02:02:33.000 And now they take pictures of you and stuff. 0.87

02:02:35.000 But that one, it would go off as you drive.

02:02:38.000 So you're like driving.

02:02:39.000 And like, I remember at one time a truck was jackknifing.

02:02:42.000 And then it's like, so I'm trying to dodge this truck from hitting me in the Grand Rapids snow while blowing my car so it doesn't stop.

02:02:51.000 No way.

02:02:52.000 I swear to God.

02:02:53.000 They're so dangerous.

02:02:55.000 And I'm going around the country.

02:02:56.000 I didn't know they did it while you were driving.

02:02:58.000 That's insane.

02:02:59.000 So they prove you're not drinking.

02:03:01.000 So like every 15 minutes it goes off at random, but you can't time it.

02:03:04.000 And you have to blow into it.

02:03:05.000 Yeah.

02:03:05.000 That's when people are like, can't you have somebody else blow?

02:03:07.000 And it's like, well, no.

02:03:08.000 Because you'd be like, can I drink and drive?

02:03:11.000 And you just hit shotgun and let me. 0.63

02:03:13.000 But yeah, you have to blow the whole time you're driving. 0.96

02:03:16.000 So that's what sucks about it.

02:03:17.000 So you have this constant thing.

02:03:19.000 And I was double jeopardy because I was a road comic.

02:03:22.000 So in 2009, yeah, dude, I'mm going into these bars and nightclubs and I'm like, Hey, do you have a phone jack I could use for a few minutes?

02:03:30.000 And they're like, Yeah, why?

02:03:32.000 And I'm like, Um, I got this ankle monitor and I had to plug it in somewhere to a phone jack so they can download to make sure I'm not drinking.

02:03:40.000 So I'd be in a bar, dude. 0.99

02:03:42.000 With my ankle with my fucking ankle. 1.00

02:03:45.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:03:46.000 Attached to the wall while they downloaded my alcohol.

02:03:50.000 How long did it take?

02:03:51.000 So it has like a modem?

02:03:52.000 Like a.

02:03:53.000 Yeah, it would light, you know?

02:03:56.000 So it would let you know when you were done.

02:03:58.000 It would do it through the phone lines.

02:03:59.000 Yeah, at that time.

02:04:00.000 Wow.

02:04:01.000 I'm sure there's something more high-tetech now, this was 09, but you had to have a phone jack and I'd have to call my probation officer and be like, this is the room I'm playing.

02:04:10.000 I'm in a bar, I was allowed to be in a bar, but if anybody spilled anything on me, right to jail.

02:04:16.000 Oh boy.

02:04:16.000 Because like if I had any bit of like I had to use Tom's Everything, you know, all natural stuff, because anything could have alcohol in it.

02:04:24.000 Oh wow.

02:04:25.000 So like I couldn't touch anything on a chance that, on the off chance that it would set off my monitor.

02:04:30.000 That's cra you know what's really crazy?

02:04:32.000 If you eat poppy seed bagels, you can get pop for heroin.

02:04:35.000 Yeah, when you take a drug test for your job.

02:04:37.000 Isn't that nuts?

02:04:38.000 Yeah.

02:04:38.000 A poppy seed bagel.

02:04:39.000 Dude.

02:04:40.000 What is it?

02:04:42.000 A nice delicious bagel.

02:04:44.000 And you get popped for heroin.

02:04:45.000 It's amazing.

02:04:46.000 You don't have anything else in your system but heroin.

02:04:51.000 I'm a tea toddler.

02:04:52.000 Right.

02:04:53.000 What's in your tea?

02:04:54.000 What are you doing with it?

02:04:54.000 Yeah.

02:04:56.000 Yeah, they tell you, don't eat papay seeds.

02:04:58.000 Eat papay seeds before you go in for a drug test.

02:05:00.000 I wonder how long papay seed bagel stays in your system.

02:05:03.000 Oh dude, I did a drug test too. 1.00

02:05:05.000 That sucks. 0.97

02:05:07.000 I never did the heroin one. 1.00

02:05:08.000 I didn't eat a lot of papay seeds, but I did buy a fake dick that they caught me with. 0.97

02:05:14.000 You had a urinator, a whizzinator, is that what they did? 0.99

02:05:17.000 Yeah, it's called a whizzinator. 0.76

02:05:18.000 Yeah.

02:05:20.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

02:05:21.000 Because I think they caught you with the fake dicks. 0.99

02:05:23.000 How did they catch you? 0.99

02:05:23.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:05:24.000 It was darker than me.

02:05:25.000 I'm not kidding.

02:05:26.000 Oh, boy.

02:05:28.000 I bought the one.

02:05:29.000 I thought they'd be behind me.

02:05:31.000 They weren't.

02:05:32.000 No, they were right here. 1.00

02:05:34.000 Because they know about the fake dicks. 0.99

02:05:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:05:36.000 And I'm just like, I'm just going to squeeze these balls from some... 0.95

02:05:45.000 I got one for you. 0.96

02:05:46.000 I know a guy who to pass a steroid test.

02:05:49.000 Yeah.

02:05:50.000 He was clearly on steroids.

02:05:52.000 Yeah.

02:05:52.000 He was a fighter.

02:05:54.000 He injected someone else's urine into his bladder.

02:05:59.000 Oh, God.

02:06:03.000 Oh. 0.99

02:06:04.000 Yeah, so he got some bro science doctor in the fucking men's room shoving a large needle of piss into his bladder and then he pissed out somebody else's piss. 1.00

02:06:18.000 Oh, God. 0.99

02:06:19.000 Did it work?

02:06:20.000 Oh, yeah.

02:06:21.000 Hats off.

02:06:22.000 I mean, that's dedication.

02:06:23.000 This basketball player came back pregnant when he took his drug test. 0.99

02:06:28.000 Using pregnant girlfriend's urine. 1.00

02:06:32.000 So what are they testing him for that he's worried about other than weed?

02:06:35.000 Is it weed?

02:06:36.000 I'm guessing weed because it's a...

02:06:41.000 Plus, I don't think you're allowed to use it.

02:06:43.000 Wow.

02:06:44.000 If you're on the team, but it was illegal then.

02:06:46.000 So they were probably still, which it's never been, I mean, for most people.

02:06:51.000 A year's suspension.

02:06:54.000 In your prime in Bosnia.

02:06:56.000 Is that what it was?

02:06:56.000 Oh.

02:06:58.000 As a naturalized player.

02:07:00.000 Well, he was, I wonder what they were testing him for.

02:07:03.000 I wonder what drugs they were actually testing him for.

02:07:05.000 What are they worried about finding?

02:07:06.000 Yeah, because I bought, what was it called?

02:07:08.000 Urine luck.

02:07:09.000 That didn't work.

02:07:10.000 Steroids and stuff, you know?

02:07:12.000 But Jesus Christ, if I'm running a professional basketball organization.

02:07:12.000 I guess.

02:07:17.000 I want people on steroids. 1.00

02:07:18.000 I want to test anyone for anything.

02:07:20.000 I want them recovering.

02:07:21.000 I want them playing better.

02:07:22.000 Yeah.

02:07:24.000 The whole steroid thing is so weird, you know, it's because it's just science.

02:07:30.000 They figured out a way to make humans perform better.

02:07:33.000 Like, so are we supposed to use some science, like you can use creatine, which at one point in time they used to treat creatine like it was steroids.

02:07:40.000 Well, yeah, they did.

02:07:42.000 In the 1990s, it was like, you're taking creatine, you're basically taking steroids.

02:07:45.000 Well, it was because of the Mark Maguire Jose Conseco thing.

02:07:49.000 Right.

02:07:49.000 I think that was a little later.

02:07:52.000 I remember it was part of it because they were like, they're on creatine and everybody's like, are you sure?

02:07:52.000 Wasn't it?

02:07:57.000 No, they were on Anderstein Dion is what he was trying to say.

02:08:01.000 But it wasn't.

02:08:02.000 It was steroids.

02:08:02.000 Yeah.

02:08:03.000 He was on hardcore shit. 1.00

02:08:05.000 Well, because he got big. 1.00

02:08:06.000 McGuire went from like a farm boy to looking like one of the Looney Tunes characters from Space Jam. 0.98

02:08:12.000 Like the dude was just fucking stacked. 0.98

02:08:14.000 Just a home run after home run. 0.98

02:08:15.000 There's a video of McGuire hitting a home run.

02:08:18.000 as the bat is contacting the ball, you see see the bend to the bat because he's so strong he's whipping the bat so hard that it's bending in the air as it contacts the ball and it's even See if you can find that photo.

02:08:34.000 Yeah, it's ash.

02:08:35.000 It's like a very dense wood.

02:08:37.000 Yeah.

02:08:38.000 And he's whipping it so hard that it has a bend like a bow, like a bow and arrow.

02:08:43.000 And it's connecting the ball like perfectly on the sweet spot.

02:08:46.000 Look at that. 0.99

02:08:47.000 Look at the fucking amount of bend in that bat. 0.99

02:08:50.000 That doesn't make any sense. 0.99

02:08:51.000 That's on the Giants bat.

02:08:52.000 Well, that's someone else.

02:08:53.000 But look at the one above it.

02:08:54.000 Oh, the one right there though.

02:08:55.000 That's the McGuire one.

02:08:56.000 McGuire's right there.

02:08:56.000 I'm talking.

02:08:58.000 That's a bend bat.

02:08:58.000 That's it.

02:08:59.000 No, right there, Jamie.

02:09:00.000 It looks like he's done the spoon trick.

02:09:02.000 Okay, whoever it is.

02:09:03.000 But look at it.

02:09:03.000 That's what I'm talking about.

02:09:04.000 Oh, you're right.

02:09:05.000 It's a bass.

02:09:05.000 So when a guy is swinginging it full clip, that's what happens to the bat, which is crazy.

02:09:10.000 That is completely cra Royd's.

02:09:12.000 That's him.

02:09:12.000 Oh my god, that's nuts.

02:09:14.000 Look at that bat.

02:09:15.000 It looks like it's made of rubber. 1.00

02:09:18.000 That's so crap. 1.00

02:09:19.000 Oh, imagine the fucking force your body has to generate to do that to one of those bats. 1.00

02:09:24.000 And meanwhile, Pete Rose never gets inducted. 0.99

02:09:27.000 I know.

02:09:28.000 Dude, I met him, I liked him.

02:09:30.000 I know.

02:09:30.000 That didn't make any sense.

02:09:31.000 He's just gambling.

02:09:32.000 It didn't hinder his play.

02:09:35.000 No.

02:09:36.000 I mean, there was some concern that maybe he bet against his team.

02:09:39.000 That's what it was, yeah.

02:09:41.000 Yeah, he probably did.

02:09:42.000 Yeah, he says he didn't, but.

02:09:44.000 He's gonna allow him in, or he's gonna be eligible, I believe.

02:09:47.000 Yeah, I figured.

02:09:48.000 Posthumously though.

02:09:49.000 Yeah, I figured, yeah, that's what they were going to do.

02:09:51.000 Yeah, but that's not cool.

02:09:53.000 No, he's dead.

02:09:54.000 He should have done it while he's alive. 1.00

02:09:56.000 No, and he'd been around sitting in the MGM in Vegas signing shit for a long time. 0.99

02:10:01.000 And he was, you know. 0.99

02:10:02.000 Great player.

02:10:02.000 Yes, he was.

02:10:03.000 He's amazing.

02:10:04.000 I mean, just because a guy does something like that doesn't mean he didn't do amazing things playing.

02:10:09.000 And that's what it's supposed to be all about.

02:10:11.000 The guy was an all star.

02:10:13.000 He was one of the greatest of all time.

02:10:15.000 And they took it away from him because he likes gambling.

02:10:18.000 Guess what?

02:10:18.000 Yeah.

02:10:19.000 That's also probably why he was so fucking good, because he was wild. 0.98

02:10:21.000 Yes, exactly. 0.99

02:10:22.000 He was a wild boy.

02:10:23.000 It's true.

02:10:24.000 Yeah.

02:10:25.000 And look at Jordan.

02:10:26.000 Oh, dude.

02:10:27.000 Degenerate gambler.

02:10:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:10:29.000 The greatest basketball player who ever walked the face of the fucking earth. 0.99

02:10:32.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:10:33.000 And degen like Pete Rose's dad wasn't taken out of the game. 0.97

02:10:36.000 He comes from the same place, man.

02:10:38.000 He comes from the same place.

02:10:39.000 Yeah, same deal.

02:10:40.000 Well, yeah, because there's a part of you that wants to do risky things if you're willing to go that far.

02:10:45.000 Yeah.

02:10:45.000 You have to have that element in.

02:10:47.000 So you kind of want to go like, yeah, he threw a few games with the confidence that the team would still be fine.

02:10:47.000 Yeah.

02:10:53.000 That's kind of amazing.

02:10:56.000 If he did.

02:10:57.000 That's the guy chasing money.

02:10:58.000 He's probably, he's probably, well, that, the thing they said about Jordan was is he wouldn't pay.

02:11:03.000 Yeah, that's, yeah.

02:11:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:11:05.000 Yeah, there's a lot of shady shit that happened. 0.98

02:11:07.000 Well, that was that golf hustler thatler that beat him out of hundreds of thousands of dollars and then wrote a story about it because Jordan wouldn't pay him. 0.98

02:11:14.000 And it kind of started getting out.

02:11:16.000 And then Jordan's father got murdered.

02:11:17.000 That's who I am.

02:11:18.000 There's a lot there.

02:11:20.000 Yeah.

02:11:20.000 Yeah, the connection with that people may have taken out his father over gambling debts, which is rarely talked about.

02:11:26.000 You know, here's another connection that I never considered until recently.

02:11:29.000 Remember when Cosby's kid got murdered?

02:11:32.000 Ah, yeah.

02:11:33.000 And everybody was like, Oh, it's just a random crime.

02:11:35.000 Maybe not.

02:11:36.000 Right.

02:11:37.000 I don't think it was now.

02:11:38.000 Well, now you know what Cosby did.

02:11:40.000 Imagine if he did that to someone's daughter and they said, Oh, well, guess what?

02:11:44.000 Because he wasn't robbed.

02:11:45.000 Right.

02:11:46.000 They didn't take anything.

02:11:47.000 Right.

02:11:48.000 He was just changing a tire.

02:11:49.000 Yeah.

02:11:50.000 And who knows if he even was?

02:11:51.000 They could have flagged him down.

02:11:53.000 Exactly.

02:11:53.000 Who knows if he even was?

02:11:55.000 Yeah.

02:11:55.000 Or who knows if they maybe flattened his tire?

02:11:58.000 To catch him.

02:11:58.000 Exactly.

02:11:59.000 Yeah.

02:11:59.000 They know he's going to drive, flatten his tire, let him drive off a little bit, and he's eventually going to have to stop and pull over.

02:12:06.000 It seems so random to just kill someone for fun.

02:12:10.000 It's rare.

02:12:11.000 Yeah, very rare.

02:12:12.000 And when you know what Cosby did, it makes you go, Oh, maybe there's something there.

02:12:18.000 And now the stuff that has come out is so, dude, it's so dark. 0.91

02:12:23.000 I heard this lady say that he might be the most prolific serial rapist in history. 0.90

02:12:27.000 I don't doubt it. 0.98

02:12:28.000 Can you imagine how insane that is?

02:12:30.000 The guy who is the, you know, mister Huxtable?

02:12:33.000 Dude. 0.99

02:12:34.000 Doctor Huxtable, head of the fucking family in the most wholesome sitcom. 1.00

02:12:39.000 Everybody loved it. 0.99

02:12:41.000 Crossed the race barrier, made everyone think of, like, this black family as, like, incredibly respectful and well put together.

02:12:48.000 Dude, fresh air.

02:12:48.000 And how great is this?

02:12:49.000 Cosmies a myth. 0.99

02:12:50.000 All that doesn't exist without him.

02:12:52.000 Right.

02:12:53.000 Yeah.

02:12:53.000 Right, right, right.

02:12:54.000 And he had a gynecological office in his basement, which he just slid past everyone on the show. 0.52

02:12:59.000 He had a gynecological office?

02:13:01.000 Yeah, doctor Huxtable was a gynecolog gynecologist and he was a doctor and in his basement is where he saw the women and no one thought anything about it.

02:13:10.000 Well, what about the one episode that he did about Spanish Fly?

02:13:13.000 Dude, and he would talk about it in his act.

02:13:15.000 He has like old records of Spanish Fly.

02:13:18.000 Yeah.

02:13:18.000 Where he's just talking about it like the whole audience is like, Yeah, the rape drug.

02:13:21.000 That's hilarious.

02:13:22.000 Yeah.

02:13:23.000 He had a whole episode of the show about his special barbecue sauce.

02:13:27.000 Yeah.

02:13:28.000 And everyone started making out with each other?

02:13:29.000 Yeah.

02:13:30.000 And groping each other?

02:13:32.000 How crazy is that?

02:13:34.000 Well, have you ever seen the Cosby Mysteries intro?

02:13:36.000 No.

02:13:37.000 It's a pill going into a martini.

02:13:39.000 And then it just says Cosby Mysteriesies.

02:13:42.000 Like what?

02:13:42.000 Yeah, I think he was more deviant than we actually realize and was leaving these little taunting breadcrumbs.

02:13:50.000 I had heard that he was doing that kind of stuff in the nineties when I was on news radio.

02:13:56.000 I had heard from people that knew him or people that knew of him, like that he drugs girls.

02:14:01.000 I was like, what?

02:14:02.000 Bill Cosby.

02:14:03.000 I was like, this is crazy, this is crazier than Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

02:14:07.000 Like, what are you talking about?

02:14:07.000 Right.

02:14:08.000 Yeah, I heard he was like a I heard he had sex with a lot of women and I was like, well, okay. 0.76

02:14:12.000 Like that's a different thing. 0.83

02:14:14.000 Like that's a, you know, I'm like, whatever.

02:14:16.000 So he's not spotless, I would assume.

02:14:18.000 I heard about it in Hollywood.

02:14:20.000 Yeah.

02:14:20.000 That was, the people knew.

02:14:22.000 It was like an inside secret.

02:14:23.000 But then, like, when I started becoming a comic, and I was doing small stuff, like an, like, not the HBO Vegas Festival.

02:14:31.000 This was it?

02:14:31.000 The Cops.

02:14:31.000 Yeah.

02:14:32.000 The Cops.

02:14:32.000 The Mysteries?

02:14:33.000 Oh, that's so weird.

02:14:35.000 Okay, but this is like But this is a mystery, like someone's drugging someone.

02:14:42.000 This was a show about this was like a cop show, right?

02:14:45.000 Yeah.

02:14:46.000 He came back out.

02:14:47.000 He came back out and did a cop show?

02:14:49.000 Yeah.

02:14:50.000 How weird.

02:14:51.000 It's just crazy that the first thing in it though is a drink being drugged.

02:14:55.000 How weird.

02:14:57.000 When was the Cosby Mysteries?

02:14:59.000 Oh, I think it was 94.

02:15:01.000 Was it 94?

02:15:02.000 Yeah, mid nineties.

02:15:03.000 How long did that last?

02:15:04.000 I think a season or two.

02:15:05.000 94.

02:15:05.000 Yeah, 94.

02:15:06.000 Yeah.

02:15:07.000 It didn't last very long.

02:15:08.000 Wow.

02:15:09.000 Yeah, people wanted to see him in comedies.

02:15:10.000 Like, why didn't he have the most loved comedy sitcom star ever?

02:15:16.000 And his, his film career wasn't great, it was like Ghost Dad and, you know, he did it.

02:15:21.000 It was all very Fat Albert, there was a story and I can't remember if it was Fat Albert, but, uh, what's his name?

02:15:21.000 Yeah.

02:15:28.000 Kenan Thompson was talking about one of the first times he met Bill Cosby and he was like, you know, like, you're gonna, you're gonna need two dicks for all the pussy you're gonna get. 1.00

02:15:37.000 And he was like, what the fuck? 1.00

02:15:38.000 Like, he just couldn't believe it was like one of the first things Cosby had said to him. 0.99

02:15:42.000 Whoa.

02:15:42.000 So it's like he kind of because you just meet that guy and you kind of wouldn't expect it to switch so hard.

02:15:48.000 Especially a guy who's who's been telling people not to especially after Eddie Murphy's stories and all that stuff.

02:15:55.000 Like, you know, Eddie Murphy from Raw.

02:15:57.000 Yeah, dude. 0.99

02:15:58.000 And he's like, tell mister Cosby that Richard Pryor's that have a cocaine smile and shut the fuck up. 0.99

02:16:03.000 Do the people laugh? 0.99

02:16:03.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:16:04.000 Do you get paid?

02:16:05.000 Yeah.

02:16:06.000 Be ready because when this movie comes out, you're gonna need two dicks because the woman's gonna be all over you. 1.00

02:16:11.000 The sketch comics called. 0.99

02:16:12.000 Wow.

02:16:14.000 Yeah, so it was.

02:16:15.000 Wow.

02:16:16.000 And imagine saying that to somebody over Fat Albert.

02:16:19.000 He's like, are you sure of that one?

02:16:22.000 I think when he was young that drugging people was normal.

02:16:27.000 That's what I think.

02:16:28.000 I think that whole Spanish fly era where people were just giving people Mickeys.

02:16:32.000 They're putting things in people's drinks. 0.99

02:16:34.000 I think people did that all the fucking time. 0.99

02:16:39.000 I think it was super normal. 0.99

02:16:47.000 Yeah.

02:16:47.000 And then he kept going.

02:16:50.000 That was his move.

02:16:50.000 Oh.

02:16:51.000 Yeah, absolutely. 1.00

02:16:52.000 Especially when he got old and ladies didn't want to fuck him. 1.00

02:16:54.000 They wanted a career. 0.99

02:16:55.000 And they thought maybe Bill Cosby said he's going to help me with my acting.

02:16:55.000 Yeah.

02:16:58.000 Yeah.

02:16:59.000 So, you know, you wake up and your panties are off.

02:17:01.000 You're like, what happened?

02:17:02.000 And a lot of them, too, when you see, like, the roles they would get on the Cosby show now, you have, like, supermodel-looking women playing a cop. 0.99

02:17:09.000 And it's like he would have private dinners with them, you know, like in his green room. 0.99

02:17:13.000 Just little, like, super shady shit. 1.00

02:17:16.000 Boy. 0.99

02:17:17.000 So, yeah, like, he, I guarantee you maybe him and, who was it, Jordan?

02:17:17.000 Yeah.

02:17:24.000 I met him.

02:17:26.000 Belfort.

02:17:27.000 You've probably met him, too.

02:17:28.000 The Wolf of Wall Street guy?

02:17:29.000 Yeah.

02:17:30.000 I'm thinking, like, Cosby and him may.

02:17:32.000 may have been the last people on Earth to ever have Quaaludes.

02:17:35.000 Like one of them had.

02:17:37.000 What was Quaaludes like?

02:17:38.000 I never did Quaaludes.

02:17:39.000 They were, I think they were.

02:17:40.000 Joey Diaz was a big fan.

02:17:42.000 See, he's older, older to remember that.

02:17:44.000 Yeah.

02:17:44.000 Yeah, because I've heard him talk about it.

02:17:46.000 But I've never done Quaaludes.

02:17:46.000 Yeah.

02:17:48.000 I think they were like, I think the last one was like 90.

02:17:52.000 She'll do things she's never done before.

02:17:54.000 Increases sexual I don't even think it's real. 0.99

02:17:56.000 Dude, it's an ad for rape. 0.98

02:17:58.000 I know it's real. 0.98

02:17:59.000 But the stuff.

02:18:00.000 Yeah.

02:18:00.000 It says it comes from parts of a beetle.

02:18:03.000 That's what they used to say.

02:18:04.000 So it really works?

02:18:05.000 Whether it works or not, et cetera.

02:18:07.000 But that's what I'm saying.

02:18:08.000 I mean, I'm sure it's real as a product, but I don't think it think it there's a thing that actually makes you horny so it would give you extra like it's like a pre-viagra yeah but that doesn't get you horny like but viagra is it just increases blood flow someone had it when i was maybe i don't know in middle school somebody had spanish fly yeah like a bottle of something that said spanish fly okay google this it does spanish fly work i ended up in marketing look at all the 0.93

02:18:38.000 ads look at this love with no strings attached that's a flight attendant ad flight attendants were fucking hot back then they would hire only hot flight attendants. 1.00

02:18:51.000 They would fire you if you weren't. 0.96

02:18:53.000 Spanish fly movie.

02:18:54.000 So just Google this for me.

02:18:56.000 Does Spanish fly actually make you aroused?

02:19:00.000 Dude, if there's a movie it was popular.

02:19:02.000 Does it work?

02:19:07.000 Let's see.

02:19:09.000 Spanish fly is not an aphrodisiac.

02:19:11.000 It's a toxic substance called Carthur.

02:19:18.000 Cantharidin, derived from blister beetles that can cause severe harm, including pain, burning, and internal damage.

02:19:25.000 There's no evidence that increases sexual dis desire.

02:19:27.000 Ingesting cantharidin can be fatal.

02:19:33.000 While it causes burning sensation in the urinary tract that can provoke an erection, it is a dangerous side effect, not an afrodisiac effect.

02:19:42.000 So it gives you a boner while you're dying.

02:19:44.000 What would it do to women then if you're right? 0.94

02:19:47.000 I guess knock you out, and that's why they're like, She's horny, bro. 1.00

02:19:51.000 Okay, so just google this. 0.81

02:19:52.000 Is there a drug that makes you horny?

02:19:54.000 Just google that.

02:19:56.000 It's like if there's a real drug.

02:19:57.000 Yeah, put it in a chat GPT, I mean, perplexity or something.

02:20:02.000 MDMA, I would, you know, that's But it makes you loving, right?

02:20:09.000 kind and want to hug people.

02:20:10.000 I don't think it makes you sexual.

02:20:12.000 But if you were rolling, I mean, and like a girl just like touched your knee in a way, you're like, I don't mind, come. 0.97

02:20:18.000 You know, it was just sort of it was pretty crazy. 1.00

02:20:21.000 A soft dick. 1.00

02:20:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:20:23.000 Yeah, that's what sucked is it didn't it didn't help your libido.

02:20:26.000 No universally proven aphrodisiac drug exists that reliably increases sexual desire across all individuals.

02:20:32.000 The concept of an aphrodisiac, a substance that enhances libido or sexual performance, has been around for centuries, but scientific evidence is limited and often inconclusive.

02:20:42.000 So some substances are marketed as that, historical, cultural substances foods like oysters okay chocolate okay none of that stuff works um medications viagra but again these they treat erectile dysfunction by improving blood flow not by increasing desire yeah no no no i get it um hormonal treatments testosterone therapy boost libido yeah but it's it doesn't like just make you horny out of nowhere yeah i don't think there's anything Like what

02:21:13.000 is horny goat weed at a gas station? 0.99

02:21:15.000 That's just like poison, right? 1.00

02:21:16.000 Oh shit. 1.00

02:21:17.000 Basalts. 1.00

02:21:18.000 Remember basalts?

02:21:20.000 Basalts they used to sell at the gas station and it was basically like some kind.

02:21:24.000 Yeah.

02:21:24.000 It was some kind of horrible drug that they snuck in by saying it wasn't for human consumption.

02:21:30.000 Yeah.

02:21:30.000 But it was a bath salt.

02:21:31.000 So you throw it in the bath.

02:21:32.000 And then, well, you would consume a human, because you remember when the guy ate the dudes?

02:21:36.000 Yeah.

02:21:37.000 That guy in Florida.

02:21:37.000 Yeah.

02:21:38.000 But I always feel like I gotta put that through the Florida lens.

02:21:41.000 It only happened in Florida.

02:21:42.000 If it is Florida, you're like, there could have been other elements.

02:21:42.000 That's true.

02:21:45.000 There's a lot of other elements in Florida.

02:21:47.000 There's a whole lifestyle that could have led to this.

02:21:49.000 A lot of choices.

02:21:50.000 But Florida where that was the place where the pill mills really started popping off, because the way Florida had it set up, they had these pain management centersagement centers they'd have a doctor that would prescribe it for you so the whole thing was just to prescribe pain pills so you'd go excuse me you'd go to the pain management center oh my back hurts great you need this go right next door and right next door all they prescribed was pain pills and they didn't have a database

02:22:21.000 So you would go there and then you'd go down the street.

02:22:24.000 Oh, my back hurts.

02:22:25.000 Oh, great.

02:22:25.000 Here you go.

02:22:26.000 And then next door.

02:22:27.000 And you could just keep doing this over and over again.

02:22:29.000 And then this documentary, the OxyContin Express, showed how people were loading up the trunks of their cars with these pain pills and driving up north and into Kentucky, into Ohio, and that's where all these people started dying of overdoses and all people became addicted to pills.

02:22:45.000 There was also one in Richmond, I want to say, right outside of Richmond, a pharmaceutical company that was also largely responsible for it.

02:22:53.000 Because I remember even working at a pharmacy and going, like my mom was an RN, so I would go in there, I remember the doctors, not the doctors, but like, I remember companies taking out the doctors to eat or like you see like OxyContin reps or you'd sign with a pen that had a painkillers name on it.

02:23:10.000 All that stuff, I remember.

02:23:10.000 Yeah.

02:23:12.000 My wife's mom's nurse and she would tell stories about how the pharmaceutical drug companies would take them out to nice steak dinners and treat them really nice and just the whole thing was like, make sure you push our share.

02:23:23.000 It was, yeah, give our product to the people coming.

02:23:26.000 And tell people how great it is.

02:23:28.000 How great is our product?

02:23:29.000 Dude, they used to give a lot.

02:23:30.000 Like, I was getting my, when I got my knee messed up, I got hooked on Oxy on Vicodin.

02:23:37.000 And I had taken lots of Vicodin before, but I took a prescribed amount that was just way too much for several months in a row.

02:23:44.000 And then when I came down, it was one of the sickest times I've ever had to deal with.

02:23:49.000 I'm like shaking, you know, I'm throwing up every few minutes.

02:23:52.000 And this was the allowed amount I was supposed to take.

02:23:55.000 Like, how long did you.

02:23:56.000 do?

02:23:57.000 Four a day for two months.

02:23:59.000 And then how long was it like the before you became normal again?

02:24:03.000 Oh, God.

02:24:04.000 It I felt real bad for about four to five days.

02:24:08.000 Like for me, even when I quit smoking, like I used to smoke three packs a day for almost 12 years.

02:24:14.000 Wow. 0.97

02:24:15.000 And but I did a lot of acid and shrooms and shit and it was fun. 0.98

02:24:18.000 You know, like one after the other, dude. 0.97

02:24:20.000 It was but it felt good, you know?

02:24:23.000 So like, yeah, I would do that.

02:24:24.000 But even that, I locked myself in a room when I was living in LA and I just didn't leave.

02:24:30.000 I didn't leave the room for a week.

02:24:32.000 I just let my body deal with the pain and then I left.

02:24:36.000 Like, so it usually takes me about that.

02:24:39.000 long, you know, to really detox my system if it's something that isn't killer.

02:24:45.000 Alcohol was hard.

02:24:46.000 Alcohol was really hard because I had started shaking when I wouldn't drink when I was sixteen.

02:24:50.000 Oh boy.

02:24:51.000 So yeah.

02:24:52.000 So you got addicted to it early.

02:24:53.000 Do it very early.

02:24:54.000 So it's like a genetic thing with your family.

02:24:56.000 Big time, and I didn't know about that until later, you know, and like my dad had talked to me about it before he died and like, you know, he died when I was eighteen, but he he finally talked to me about what was going on with the family and stuff I hadn't known and my uncle who I figured had died of a heroin overdose, but my mom's like, he just Diddy?

02:25:17.000 Can I just know the truth?

02:25:18.000 You know?

02:25:19.000 And it turned out it was lines of years of addiction.

02:25:22.000 Like my dad's dad was an Irish guy, left him the day he was born, walked in, saw my dad was a twin.

02:25:29.000 He had a twin sister and goes, I'm not raising two and walked out.

02:25:32.000 Oh boy.

02:25:33.000 So then he was the opposite dad.

02:25:35.000 He was loving, coach, all that stuff.

02:25:38.000 You know?

02:25:39.000 He turned it. 0.99

02:25:40.000 Fucked by the government. 1.00

02:25:41.000 Oh yeah, and then fucked by the government. 1.00

02:25:43.000 He became a very, yeah. 1.00

02:25:45.000 It's crazy how that kind of addiction, addiction and mental illness is just fucking hardcore genetic. 0.97

02:25:52.000 And when you have a family that has a long history of mental illness. 0.91

02:25:55.000 It's very rare that you're like, I'm fine.

02:25:58.000 Oh yeah, it's very rare that you're an anomaly.

02:26:00.000 Yeah, well, it's fine.

02:26:01.000 It's usually something.

02:26:04.000 Maybe you're not.

02:26:06.000 Good.

02:26:06.000 Yeah.

02:26:07.000 I just know so many people that are alcoholics that their family is an alcoholic.

02:26:11.000 Like guys, I had a buddy that he would drink and his eyes would glaze over and it wouldn't be him anymore.

02:26:17.000 It'd be like, Oh, he's gone.

02:26:18.000 We just have to wait until he comes back. 0.99

02:26:20.000 Because right now, it's whatever the fuck happens to him when he drinks. 1.00

02:26:24.000 Just crazy. 0.99

02:26:25.000 Off the rails, like, didn't remember anything.

02:26:27.000 Full blackout.

02:26:28.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

02:26:29.000 You'd have to tell him, you don't remember being on the table with your dick out. 0.99

02:26:31.000 You don't remember yeah he didn't remember anything i was the guy on that side of the phone calls see i they were like you need to apologize to this person did you black out all the time all the time so you didn't remember anything i wouldn't remember most sometimes i brown out so i kind of remember what we did there was times where i actually I was at a party, right? 0.99

02:26:50.000 And then I wake up and I'm handcuffed to a bed in a hospital getting charcoal dumped down.

02:26:58.000 Oh, my stomach pumped.

02:27:00.000 Oh, my God.

02:27:01.000 Oh, something happened.

02:27:02.000 It's like, I didn't.

02:27:04.000 But I went from like being at a party to just being woken up with a charcoal stomach pump.

02:27:10.000 And I'm like, this isn't good.

02:27:11.000 Do you talk about any of this stuff on stage?

02:27:13.000 I do, yeah.

02:27:14.000 Oh, I imagine you have to.

02:27:16.000 Like, what I'm so ripe for material.

02:27:18.000 Yeah, I put out a book, it's called Party Who Won a Fuzzy Memoir a little while ago, and it's all stories of my youth because I was trying to get it all out.

02:27:27.000 And then I had to ask people, and I didn't put it out for years because I wanted to be like, hey, is it cool if I change, like, talk about?

02:27:34.000 And everybody was, but, and a couple of my friends who are my really good friends, I had to fuck with, where I'm like, don't worry, I change your name from Brian to Ryan so no one knows his name. 0.97

02:27:42.000 Little shit like that. 0.97

02:27:45.000 But yeah, I talk about a lot of this on stage because, dude, I got like, yeah, it was all like crazy. 0.99

02:27:52.000 How did you get institutionalized?

02:27:55.000 The story I talk about in the book is what happened the night before, well, not the book, but on stage, because I have to kind of sum it up.

02:28:00.000 I actually did it on This Is Not Happening, Ari show.

02:28:03.000 And what happened was, was I used to like bong pints and fifths for like a party trick. 0.97

02:28:11.000 And I could carry around a case of beer and, you know, drink that in the night.

02:28:14.000 And mind you, I'm 5'6.

02:28:17.000 But then I'm in high school.

02:28:18.000 I probably weighed 140 pounds, dude.

02:28:21.000 Like I was, and if I wasn't on, if I wasn't on LSD and I wasn't on mushrooms and I wasn't on C K. I was drunk.

02:28:28.000 So I would switch it all up.

02:28:28.000 Wow.

02:28:30.000 And the night before I had bonged a fifth at a party.

02:28:35.000 What do you mean by bongs?

02:28:36.000 You know the beer bongs that you use that have like the funnel and go through?

02:28:39.000 So my friend Anthony pulled out this beer bong and my friend Nick poured an entire fifth of Absolute vodka and Nick's like, dude, don't do this.

02:28:46.000 And you just drank the whole thing?

02:28:48.000 Well, they put in a cap full of Sprite, then I drank the whole thing.

02:28:51.000 And dude, I guess I say this in the story because this is what I was told happened.

02:28:57.000 I was tab dancing.

02:28:59.000 I told my girlfriend who I love that she had orangutang teddies and then I fell through a table.

02:29:08.000 A glass table.

02:29:09.000 Oh, no.

02:29:10.000 And then, yeah, I ended up getting taken home by the cops.

02:29:13.000 I don't know exactly what happened, but my mom ended up calling the police, which is, you know, like she didn't know what to do.

02:29:20.000 I was doing something.

02:29:21.000 Right.

02:29:21.000 And they arrested me and I was institutionalized for two weeks and I stayed with a kid who thought he was a werewolf.

02:29:28.000 So you had to go to a mental health institution?

02:29:30.000 I went to a mental health institution because they weren't they didn't realize it was an addiction.

02:29:35.000 They just arrested me because my behavior was so erratic.

02:29:38.000 Oh.

02:29:38.000 And I remember getting there and I met my and I'm not kidding.

02:29:42.000 I met my roommate who was a he was a werewolf.

02:29:44.000 That's what he believed.

02:29:45.000 And I'm like, I don't want to stay with him.

02:29:48.000 And they're like, well, he's not really a werewolf.

02:29:50.000 I'm like, yeah, I know.

02:29:51.000 What happens when the moon turns full?

02:29:53.000 Well, he attacked me.

02:29:54.000 Oh boy.

02:29:55.000 Yeah.

02:29:55.000 So, and they hit you.

02:29:56.000 What they do is they grab a tank, a trank, it's called booty juice. 0.98

02:30:00.000 And they hit you in the butt with it, and like the guards will fight you off. 0.98

02:30:05.000 But after two weeks they're like, he's not, it's not so much that he's got mental illness, which he does, but he's an alcoholic. 0.99

02:30:11.000 He's a severe alcoholic.

02:30:13.000 But your roommate, the werewolf. 0.94

02:30:16.000 Yeah.

02:30:16.000 He attacked you when the moon turned white?

02:30:18.000 Yeah.

02:30:18.000 One night he just started howling.

02:30:20.000 And I don't even think wolves howves help?

02:30:26.000 Or not, werewolves.

02:30:27.000 They do, yeah.

02:30:28.000 American Werewolf in London.

02:30:29.000 Oh, but he was barking too.

02:30:31.000 And the patients say sedative known as booty juice, injected against their will.

02:30:36.000 Yeah.

02:30:36.000 Growing number of children and teenagers admitted voluntarily to Northern Texas.

02:30:41.000 For profit, psychiatric hospitals told WFAA they've been injected with powerful sedative drugs without their parents' knowledge.

02:30:49.000 Yeah, which that kid deserved.

02:30:49.000 Booty juice.

02:30:51.000 They shouldn't have called the parents and said, Hey, your wolf boy is fucking naked trying to eat a guy. 1.00

02:30:57.000 Was he naked when he took all his clothes off? 1.00

02:30:59.000 Because he thought he was a werewolf, dude.

02:31:01.000 So tell me what that was like.

02:31:02.000 What was this like? 0.98

02:31:02.000 Well, he's jumping on top of me and I grabbed a lamp to hit him with it, but it was fucking glued down because it's a mental hospital. 0.98

02:31:08.000 So that just kind of made me open my arms to him and he's on top trying to bite me and I'm like holding him back. 0.64

02:31:15.000 And that's when they came in and they ran at him.

02:31:17.000 They hit him with the syringe.

02:31:19.000 They pulled him off me and I'm just sitting there like, I don't want to be here.

02:31:22.000 Like, I'll never drink again. 0.99

02:31:24.000 You know, like basically crying like a bitch. 1.00

02:31:27.000 Like, and, you know, I'll never drink again was like my catchphrase, dude. 0.99

02:31:33.000 So they pulled him out of there and then, you know, and then eventually they sent me off to a rehab where I spent I think I spent 45 days there.

02:31:44.000 And I heard it's not there anymore, which is a shame because a lot of kids do need that now.

02:31:47.000 And I heard they took it down, like it's not there anymore.

02:31:50.000 And I went there and the second I got out, I didn't drink.

02:31:54.000 I didn't drink for like a month.

02:31:55.000 But the second I got in my friend's car, I hit a joint.

02:31:58.000 And I'm not saying that that's bad, but it's like, dude, the second I was, they're like, You can't drink, right?

02:32:04.000 And I'm like, Yeah, like, You can smoke wheat.

02:32:06.000 I'm like, Yeah.

02:32:08.000 So I immediately hit a joint.

02:32:12.000 Oh my God, Dave.

02:32:13.000 Yeah.

02:32:14.000 And that's what's kind of amazing that you're here.

02:32:14.000 Jesus Christ.

02:32:17.000 Dude, yeah, I got in a lot of shit shit. 1.00

02:32:19.000 You look great though. 1.00

02:32:20.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:32:21.000 For a guy who's gone through as much shit as you? 0.99

02:32:23.000 Yeah, like. 1.00

02:32:24.000 Three packs a day, alcohol, acid.

02:32:27.000 Dude, so much acid.

02:32:28.000 DUIs.

02:32:30.000 Falls through the table.

02:32:31.000 Look at you fine.

02:32:32.000 You know what?

02:32:33.000 You know what is interesting though?

02:32:34.000 All the drugs now, because like I told you, I was a real kind of depressed kid.

02:32:38.000 And all the drugs that I did to treat depression are now used to treat depression. 0.99

02:32:43.000 Mushrooms, ketamine, all that shit, dude. 0.99

02:32:45.000 Right. 0.99

02:32:46.000 Like I spent five years in high school when it turns out I was completely accurate with my studies of how these drugs would help me.

02:32:55.000 You were self-medicating.

02:32:57.000 And I was accurate with it.

02:32:58.000 Because dude, I would do K and I'd just be sitting there in a K hole in class, just think the desk is moving.

02:32:58.000 Yeah.

02:33:04.000 Jesus dude.

02:33:06.000 And acid was the most fun to do in class because your teacher's face is melting and you're just sitting there like, it's so much fun.

02:33:13.000 Wow.

02:33:14.000 But I was a I was a mess, but at the same time, so many of my friends were too.

02:33:18.000 It wasn't like just me.

02:33:19.000 Right, so it felt normal?

02:33:21.000 Like, I mean, I was the worst of them and technically slowest because I was arrested more than anybody.

02:33:21.000 Yeah.

02:33:27.000 You were the most fun.

02:33:29.000 What did you think you were going to do for a living back then?

02:33:31.000 The only thing I ever loved was acting and comedy.

02:33:34.000 Oh, okay.

02:33:35.000 My dad would wake me up when I was a kid to watch SNL.

02:33:39.000 It wasn't something that him and my brother, they'd watch baseball and stuff, but we'd watch SNL together.

02:33:44.000 We would watch old movies with John Candy, Steve Martin, all those people.

02:33:49.000 And then he introduced me to stand-up and my dad bought me – He bought me Carlin Classic Gold on tape when I was nine.

02:33:59.000 Wow.

02:34:00.000 Which had seven dirty words and all that.

02:34:03.000 He bought me Dangerfield, Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart, Eddie Murphy.

02:34:07.000 He showed me Delirious when I was like eight.

02:34:10.000 Wow.

02:34:11.000 Dude, I still laugh so hard'cause that like, the whole bit he does about the hamburger was so relevant then.

02:34:22.000 And I knew what that meant then and I was crying laughing because I loved Eddie Murphy, you know?

02:34:27.000 So he introduced me to comedy and the only thing I had any interest in was that.

02:34:31.000 And one day Second City opened up in Detroit and I was pissing this teacher off a little bit and she stopped me after class and she goes, Do you know what Second City is?

02:34:44.000 And I go, Yeah, my dad's told me about it.

02:34:46.000 It's like where all these SNL people came from. 1.00

02:34:49.000 And she's like, Yeah, you're actually really funny, but you're a fucking pain in the ass in my class. 1.00

02:34:56.000 That's a cool teacher. 1.00

02:34:57.000 And she goes, she goes, you should consider taking classes there.

02:34:57.000 It really was.

02:35:02.000 And I said, wow.

02:35:04.000 So after my fifth year, the first thing I did was I listened to her and my dad and I signed up for Second City.

02:35:04.000 Okay.

02:35:10.000 And dude, years later, I'm doing improv on stage with this group, Motor City Improv. 0.98

02:35:15.000 And like, it's more bar prov, you're just fucking around, you know? 0.98

02:35:18.000 Right. 0.98

02:35:18.000 But one of the guys in the group was, hey, my wife's gonna come too. 0.98

02:35:22.000 And it was my teacher.

02:35:23.000 And I got to do improv with her years later.

02:35:26.000 And it was really cool, man.

02:35:26.000 Wow.

02:35:28.000 Because like, she, it was the first time somebody didn't scold me.

02:35:32.000 They stopped me to go, like, you genuinely have something and you're not just this waste.

02:35:38.000 Right.

02:35:38.000 And no one had ever, besides my parents, but no one else had ever said that before.

02:35:42.000 Well, that's so cool that she was already in that world so she understood.

02:35:45.000 Yeah.

02:35:46.000 Yeah, we were actually just having a conversation about that last night in the green room, not last night, the night before, and we were talking about times in your life that someone could have just told you, this is behavior like a stand-up comedian, like that's a real job.

02:36:00.000 Yeah.

02:36:00.000 You know how you like repairing cars and you could be a mechanic?

02:36:03.000 You know how you like talking shit? 1.00

02:36:05.000 You're funny, everyone laughs? 1.00

02:36:06.000 This is a job. 1.00

02:36:08.000 Like just, but everyone just tells you you're a fucking loser and you're never going to mount to anything and get out of my class. 0.99

02:36:13.000 And that's, and I was very lucky. 0.98

02:36:16.000 Like my parents, my dad had was just about to pass when I told him I think I'm going to do Second City and then take this film class up in Lansing, Michigan, which is what I did.

02:36:25.000 I did film and I did that and I would go back and forth.

02:36:28.000 And he was like, you should.

02:36:30.000 Like.

02:36:30.000 That's what you've always wanted to do.

02:36:32.000 Like I had a camera in my hand since I was a kid.

02:36:35.000 Like my parents never wanted me to have a backup plan.

02:36:37.000 They were like, find something you love.

02:36:40.000 Like that's, you know, and we were really only torn apart as a family because of what we experienced, you know, from my dad just. 0.95

02:36:49.000 being screwed. 0.89

02:36:50.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:36:51.000 So we were, I think if I had given a more direct line, I may have gotten there sooner.

02:36:56.000 You know?

02:36:57.000 But I was, I was angry and depressed and pissed off.

02:37:00.000 Sure. 1.00

02:37:00.000 You know, my whole attitude was fuck, you fuck the system. 1.00

02:37:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:37:04.000 So when I finally found that outlet, it was wonderful, dude, especially when you're writing sketches and watching them come to life and you're ripping on the people that fucked you over. 0.83

02:37:13.000 And like, there's such a good feeling about that. 0.94

02:37:15.000 Yeah.

02:37:16.000 And a lot of people that I met have gone on to do great things.

02:37:18.000 Like I was in a troop with Sam Richardson who went on to do Detroiters.

02:37:23.000 And, you know, there's Tim Robinson, who I didn't know him well or anything but we did improv a couple times and it's cool to see him like skyrocket with I think you should leave and all these other stuff and Keegan Michael Key was somebody that was out of the Detroit chapter so there's like some really cool people that ended up coming out of there.

02:37:39.000 What was the stand-up scene like?

02:37:41.000 Like what was the big club?

02:37:42.000 The big club was Mark Ridley's comedy cast.

02:37:44.000 Okay, I heard that part.

02:37:45.000 Yeah, and I started There was to be a great spot.

02:37:47.000 Dude, it's unbelievable and he he was the guy who you wanted to do stand-up in front of because he was there every night tearing tickets like he was a part of it from the late 70s until he had a heart attack maybe around 2010.

02:38:01.000 His son Ryan Ridley was the head writer of Rick and Morty.

02:38:04.000 Oh wow.

02:38:05.000 So he dude, he's a great dude.

02:38:07.000 And you just had Mike Costa on.

02:38:10.000 Mike was in my group when I started.

02:38:10.000 Yeah.

02:38:12.000 Yeah, he was one of the people that I started with.

02:38:12.000 Oh, no kidding.

02:38:14.000 And then a guy named Matt McClowry, he's actually featuring for me this weekend, who's incredibly funny dude.

02:38:20.000 Yeah.

02:38:20.000 At the mother show?

02:38:21.000 Oh, yeah.

02:38:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:38:22.000 He's got Asperger's, Adam knows him, and dude, he's funny.

02:38:25.000 If any luck, he'll think he's a lady. 0.97

02:38:25.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.97

02:38:27.000 At least he doesn't think he's a werewolf. 0.94

02:38:30.000 But yeah, dude, he's a beast. 1.00

02:38:32.000 And like, we had a pretty cool group when we started where we weren't kissing each other's ass. 1.00

02:38:37.000 We were all just trying to figure it out. 0.99

02:38:38.000 Oh, that's great.

02:38:39.000 So we would like to criticize each other.

02:38:41.000 and like we've all done pretty well considering like where people have gone off to you know at least in the sense of making money and making a living you know making making people laugh like and that's awesome we were lucky because there was like 10 different clubs in detroit where you could go like okay i'll go do ridley's in the suburbs but then i can go do a super urban room you know in the city and I can get used to that audience.

02:39:04.000 Then I can go to Ann Arbor and I can be in front of liberals at the showcase or at the Heidelberg Project and then I can go, you know, so you could go all over and you could experience every kind of audience.

02:39:16.000 you could ever be in front of at ten different places in a week.

02:39:19.000 That's awesome.

02:39:20.000 It was really cool.

02:39:21.000 That's awesome.

02:39:22.000 Listen, dude, this was a lot of fun.

02:39:24.000 Thank you.

02:39:24.000 I really like talking to you.

02:39:25.000 I'm glad you're alive.

02:39:26.000 Thank you.

02:39:27.000 It's amazing to listen to your stories.

02:39:29.000 It's kind of a miracle that you've made it this far, but you're a good dude and it's always fun to have you at the club.

02:39:34.000 It's been a lot of fun.

02:39:35.000 Thank you.

02:39:36.000 I'm excited to see you this weekend.

02:39:37.000 I appreciate it, Joe.

02:39:38.000 Thank you very much.

02:39:39.000 My pleasure, brother.

02:39:39.000 I'll tell everyone how they could find you, all your stuff online.

02:39:42.000 Oh, you can go to davelandout.com.

02:39:44.000 I have everything on there.

02:39:45.000 You can check out tour dates and everything.

02:39:48.000 Also, yeah, I guess I should have brought out my book, Partok, Party of Wanna Fuzzy Memoir.

02:39:52.000 It did really well on Amazon.

02:39:54.000 Nice.

02:39:54.000 And yeah, a lot of people have enjoyed it.

02:39:56.000 And a lot of the stories will be much funnier to you than they were for me to live.

02:40:01.000 So I hope you enjoy it.

02:40:03.000 All right.

02:40:04.000 Beautiful.

02:40:04.000 All right.

02:40:04.000 Thanks, brother.

02:40:05.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - September 02, 2025

Joe Rogan Experience #2373 - Dave Landau

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Summary

Transcript