00:03:20.000Watching the wind, um getting up fucking before light hits, just getting deep.
00:03:25.000You're way up there too, calling, all that kind of stuff.
00:03:28.000And uh it's just so fun, and once you get in tight, your adrenaline's just buzzing, and we had eyes on this like big boy.
00:03:40.000And uh so then I'm doing the he's like working his way up the mountain up this uh pass, and I'm doing the antlers against the tree and then the antlers and getting it angry, getting it worked up, and it starts bugling even more, and you're like I'm not even taking the shot, and I'm like, this is fucking legit.
00:04:00.000And he like he pulls his fucking mask down and he's like getting into it.
00:04:04.000I see him like army crawling up there, missed.
00:04:10.000It's more of like a bonding experience, man, than anything for us, but it's a very intense experience, especially because they they scream and truly the sound like gives you goosebumps.
00:07:18.000I mean, even when we shot uh American primeval, he was uh you his little garage setup, man, cold plunge, uh steam room, like it's he's gotta have it.
00:07:31.000Yeah, he's gotta have it for that brain of his.
00:08:01.000Um, I mean, living in Montana, I got to uh this cowgirl friend of mine who I met at that ranch, uh, had been working with this shaman just outside of Livingston, and I was telling her I'm playing a guy that kind of raised by Shoshone and all this, and like that was kind of where I hung my hat of like if this guy lost his family at six or seven and then adopted or sold to the Shoshone, this is who he is.
00:08:30.000So I started working with this shaman, uh, which was incredible, and then um went down to the Shoshone reservation, Wind River, worked with the elders there.
00:08:42.000It's tough, man, because obviously going there, you're like, and they knew I was coming, but it's like you're talking to these elders, and it's like we meet five minutes in, and I'm like, so what do you what do you guys do when you bury your wife?
00:08:58.000And you're asking these heavy, heavy questions, cultural questions, yes, yeah.
00:09:11.000And then I went into this other room at the school there, and this other elderly woman comes in a wheelchair, and she sits there and she's like, What do you want to know?
00:09:22.000And so we just sat there for hours, and she was incredibly transparent and just really open, and I would take all this and go to Pete and be like, listen, if we're gonna we gotta honor these guys, so let's do it right.
00:09:34.000And he was all ears, and uh the Shoshone was very tough to learn.
00:09:39.000When you say working with a shaman, like what did what did you do?
00:09:42.000Yeah, so we'll do like two hours sweats.
00:09:48.000Like a fire in the middle of it or something.
00:09:50.000Yeah, so it's uh fire is always burning before you start the sweat, and then he'll grab river rocks from Yellowstone uh river, and then the fire's going, and he'll bring these rocks that are in the fire into the middle of the sweat lodge, and uh there's four doors to this one, and uh you'll talk you'll fast the day before, and um you'll he'll put the river rocks in the middle, and they're smoking hot, right?
00:10:18.000And then he brings river water from a spring or whatever, um, and then you have you fast and then you uh have your intention ties, so you would sit down with him for an hour or two and talk about what you want out of this.
00:10:32.000Um sometimes it's like, do I want to have a kid?
00:10:36.000Or a buddy of mine was using heroin for something, so I would bring him and have a sweat and just give him my energy in this sweat to help him, or my dad passed or something, or some it can be light too.
00:10:51.000Um but he's been amazing, like before like I start a movie in a couple weeks, and I'm just gonna go do a sweat and get ready for that, and I just whatever he's gonna energy he's gonna give me to go into this shoot, um, and then for the for prime evil, it was fucking beautiful.
00:11:12.000Like I wasn't a good rider, I'm still not on horses.
00:11:16.000And uh he gave me like my horse has a feather.
00:11:19.000If you really watch, he's I have four horses in it, but my first horse has a feather in him, and I wanted to do all these and honor the horses, uh, which obviously the Shoshone do.
00:11:29.000Um so he he just taught me a shit ton about just to honor that tribe and honor what what they do and and to be as authentic as possible.
00:11:43.000But yeah, that's a such an intense character.
00:11:46.000And imagine like you're playing a guy who's a white guy who's like deeply ingrained with Native American life, and so it's like it's all it's very conflicted, there's a lot going on there, but you want you you want to embody what this guy would be like, yeah.
00:12:03.000Yeah, and you're you meet him when he's mourning, right?
00:12:07.000And he's lost his wife and his son, and he married into the tribe.
00:12:11.000Uh so the the female chief, I married her daughter and had a son.
00:12:17.000And um, so when you meet Isaac, he's just in mourning, and everything is full circle, everything is circular with them.
00:12:26.000So the only way he could reunite with his family is to is to die honorably.
00:12:41.000I had I just got chills thinking about this.
00:12:43.000There's a fight, I think, in episode two, which was fucking insane, and we didn't rehearse.
00:12:49.000This is very berg, and we have these one guy's black feet, unbelievable guy, and I kept using him because he's a great stunt man, and um, so Pete's like, you guys are gonna fucking roll down this hill, and I want you to fight your way to the river, and then we'll cut, and then I want you to fight in the river.
00:13:10.000This is like maybe 28 degrees in that river.
00:13:15.000The safety guy is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is not cool.
00:13:43.000So how do you know like when he's gonna punch or you're gonna punch?
00:13:47.000So during if it's you and me, it's like you will walk the area, make sure there's no uh sticks or whatever that were gonna impale us, and during the fight, I'll be like, okay, I'm gonna flip you.
00:14:01.000Oh wow, and then it's like, okay, I'm gonna get on top.
00:14:06.000Yeah, and then Pete will be yelling behind camera to be like, okay, now work your way on top of them, and then we'll fight, work our way, roll, work our way, and then he's like, Okay, find a rock, kill him.
00:14:18.000Jesus Christ, and then that war cry, which I'm so proud of.
00:14:24.000I worked on that forever, but uh, and I had talked to Pete about it for you know months before, but we're just rolling so quick, and I told our A camera, Brett, to uh get in tight.
00:14:40.000I mean, any shot with Pete is fucking tight, which I love.
00:14:43.000Um, and I'm like, B, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this war cry, so don't go down to him or and he's like, gotcha.
00:14:51.000And so when I did it, Pete finally called Cut and he goes, What the fuck?
00:15:06.000Well, he's such a smart guy, he is, man.
00:15:08.000When he's dialed, he's like lone, he was just so present and early, and he just I mean, we're surrounded by seals, as you know, every take, and um, I don't think you could do what we did to in prep of just like no producers, no Pete, no nothing.
00:15:27.000It's just every morning, 7 a.m., 8 a.m., we're up in the mountain uh with seals with Ray Mendoza and uh amazing guys, and uh we oh first week is like first day, man.
00:15:41.000I'm Canadian, so I haven't shot a fucking gun in my life.
00:15:47.000The first time you ever shot a gun was alone survivor?
00:15:52.000So, first Chris Karachi, who's a fucking legend, a man's man.
00:15:57.000Um I think he was like one of the on the first team uh SEAL team units, and the deepest voice you've ever heard in your life, and like a fucking man, and uh he took me under his wing, and so our first day was live fire, and Karachi took me aside, he's like, Hey, it's you and me, and I'm like, let's go.
00:16:21.000And I'm like, as fit as I ever have been.
00:16:24.000I was running town lake doing the Murph every fucking three times a week with weighted vests, and uh just at Lake Travis high school there doing pull-ups, and it was unbelievable fun training for that, and um first day was live fire,
00:16:42.000and that fucking gets you right that the you do not fuck around, and uh they make sure of it, and then uh I haven't I hadn't met Marcus yet, and Foster uh had drove down I think from Texas to uh New Mexico with with Latrell.
00:17:03.000It's like oh you got to spend some real time with Marcus, and uh I was playing Mike, obviously, and and uh who is Mark's best friend, and so we're on this fucking range doing live fire, like upside down reloads, combat reloads, jamming, blindfold.
00:17:19.000It was just it was full on, and Emil's actually a great shot.
00:17:23.000Um Marcus comes, everything goes full stop, and right when he's coming, there's a PA on the other side, and she's bringing fucking banana shakes out, which is not a good look for these actors, and Marcus looks at these shakes and he looks at the actors and he's like, What the fuck is happening?
00:17:48.000You guys don't get shakes in between and one of the actors just shamelessly goes up and grabs one of these banana shakes, and he's just talking to Marcus, meeting him for the first time.
00:18:02.000And I'm like, you might want to put that down, like wait till he fucking leaves before.
00:18:08.000But and then uh it's just a beautiful experience, man.
00:18:12.000Um the second week of training, we were doing simunitions.
00:18:57.000So we meet up at the bottom of this fucking mountain, and they're all in taliban gear, and you're like, oh god, we're so fucked.
00:19:07.000So they're like, give us 10 minutes, and uh, when you get ambushed, we're gonna watch and we're gonna engage, and we're gonna see what you do, see what you've learned the last week, and you're like, All right, let's go.
00:19:23.000So it happens, and you're just walking, right?
00:19:26.000Just like we are in the film, you're just walking and waiting to get ambushed, you know shit's about to hit, and so they hit and you hit the ground right away to figure out where the bullets are coming, and uh, and you can hear them, which really sets you straight.
00:19:44.000And so I'm looking over at a meal, and I'm like, fucking uh 12 o'clock.
00:19:49.000They're just straight up in these trees.
00:20:19.000I got Foster behind me, who's like so in it.
00:20:23.000He's fucking crawling through cactus and like bleeding, and I'm on the ground crawling, screaming at a meal.
00:20:31.000Marcus comes out full, we got hammered.
00:20:35.000I literally don't think we got through a mag.
00:20:38.000Like, and Marcus comes out, and we're not laughing, but it's too light, like we're taking it too lightly.
00:20:48.000And I'm like, Emil, you gotta push, man.
00:20:51.000If I'm pushing, if I'm telling you, so Marcus comes in and he's like full stop, and he goes, I thought he was gonna rip a meal, and he comes over to me, and he's like, Is this funny?
00:21:23.000And I was just like, just leveled, right?
00:21:27.000And uh, it's a beautiful learning curve for me.
00:21:30.000And um, we got better, but I mean, any time, there's one time I won't kill you with these stories, but one time I was like fucking proud of myself.
00:21:42.000Like, we got in a ditch, we're it was too much, simmunition, same thing, and we got in a ditch, and we're all here, and I'm fucking looking downrange like fucking we're in one, we're still in a fight, and then no joke, Mark Simos, the sniper seal, grabs my fucking shoulder, and he's like, boom, and I'm like, where the fuck did you come from?
00:22:06.000Like, that's how good these motherfuckers are, man.
00:22:09.000So it was like it was just an amazing experience.
00:22:13.000When you train for something like that, like how much time is spent, like when you know you got the role, yeah, and you know you're gonna film, like, how much time do you give yourself to prepare for something like that?
00:22:27.000The more time I can root myself into This guy, especially when the stakes are so high like Murph.
00:22:34.000Um, I mean, physically, uh, was I did this little comedy uh in Canada, and if you watch this movie, and I was training for Lone during this movie, so it's called Skirwink Trail in Newfoundland,
00:22:52.000beautiful fucking trail, and it's me, my best friend of 30 years, and my assistant who is a great guy, and we're training for loan, getting ready, doing like 50 pound runs, uh, weighted vests, all this kind of stuff, a skirt skirwink trail.
00:23:07.000So if you watch this movie, like at the beginning to the end, my body goes from like this to just fucking stacked in this movie, and so there's that, but uh obviously 90% of this is mental, right?
00:23:22.000The seals, and so um I just love that.
00:23:28.000Pete did a beautiful thing, bringing nine 19 guys died on the op uh and the rescue mission.
00:23:35.000So it was like he brought all the families.
00:23:39.000Uh, I think it was a week before we hit camera, and um man, you know, I'm going, it's I'm in the elevator at the Hyatt in uh Santa Fe or New or uh Albuquerque, and I'm fucking nervous, like throw up nervous, because I'm meeting Dan Murphy now, and I'm like, Did I do enough?
00:24:03.000And then we all have that fucking voice in our head that's like, you're a pile of shit.
00:24:09.000You didn't do enough, you're not ready.
00:24:11.000And that's why prep so much because it eliminated it's like a fight, right?
00:24:16.000UFC or anything, these guys fucking you prep to eliminate that self-doubt, so you can be like, I'm fucking ready for you, you know.
00:24:24.000So it's the same mentality, and so that was um my first words to Dan were like, I'm gonna everything I have into this, I'm gonna do it as authentically as I know how.
00:24:35.000And he was just so fucking gracious with me.
00:24:38.000Gave Mike's fi uh uh firefighter uh patch and just told me some amazing stories, and I'm super close with the Murphy family still.
00:24:50.000I I think it's you gotta have it, especially with Pete's process, like if you're he's so off the cuff sometimes, and if it's an idea he has on the day, which he really leans into his gut instinct, and obviously that's guided him pretty fucking beautifully, but you just gotta be ready for anything, and if you don't prep, you're not rooted, you're not ready for anything, you know.
00:25:16.000So um that one was a special one, yeah.
00:25:21.000Do you what what when you get into a character like if you're doing Lone Survivor, do you try to stay in that character all day long?
00:25:30.000Like do you try to do you break for lunch and just be yourself?
00:25:34.000I try for sure, but you're still trying to stay in the character.
00:27:38.000And uh Pete's like, hey, your death scene, I want to talk about it.
00:27:43.000And I'm like, all day, what do you what do you want to know?
00:27:45.000I got some thoughts on it, and you know, I talked to Marcus in the hotel, and he won he remembers one specific thing he'd like me to do, and so Murph brought was pushing himself up with his rifle, uh climbing up this rock.
00:28:00.000So I'm like, that's really all I want to make sure for Marcus's sake that I get that in.
00:28:39.000Uh I'll always have a playlist for whatever character.
00:28:43.000And um explosions in the sky, who's Austin, who was at the time Austin based, great guys, and Pete uses them all the time.
00:28:50.000Um, and they're just acoustic, no lyrics, which is they're fucking amazing.
00:28:55.000And so there's one song that has a heartbeat in it, and that was my song for Murph, and it slows down in it, and so I go, you know, I prepping in the in the trailer.
00:29:07.000I walk down through this fucking parking lot, and I'm like, oh dude, I'm not in it.
00:29:12.000And then I'm getting mad at Pete for putting me in a parking lot to do this shit.
00:29:16.000I'm looking at fucking Sandia Hotel, getting ready to go like this most epic death on, you know, you it doesn't get more epic than that guy, really.
00:29:29.000Put in the tunes, and they built this big stage that was like four feet high in the the rocks, and then surrounded it by green screen, and cameras on the phantom camera, which is that Uber slow motion, that's where you see the the spit coming out of Murph's mouth and all this,
00:29:47.000and and I just broke down, like just I puddled myself right before it was just like months and months and months of thinking about it, and uh and prepping and putting so much pressure, and then I had explosions in my head, and I was like, God damn, this is too like you're overwhelmed with emotion.
00:30:07.000And Pete comes up and he's like, get it out, and so I took five minutes, camera crews waiting.
00:30:14.000We did like I told Pete I want that rifle to him to climb up with the the rifle, and um I think we did three takes, and then the camera crew, Jacques, was uh he's a DP, he DP'd American primeval, but he was a camera op on on loan, and uh he was working that slow-mo camera, and he just goes to Pete, he's like, We've got it, we've got it.
00:30:40.000But is it weird watching it on film knowing that you shot it in a parking lot, like trying to this is the first time I told this story.
00:30:49.000Um very much like we would go we went and screwed the first time I saw this film, man, was in uh I think it wasn't Redskins, it was Denver, the Broncos.
00:31:03.000We go and show this to the Broncos, and uh Robert Griffin the third was the quarterback, I think.
00:31:12.000Yeah, he was there, and um I was with Ben Foster, and Ben had seen it, and I was I watched it the first time with the Denver fucking Broncos sitting in this theater, and I was a mess.
00:31:34.000And then my first email was to Dan, his dad, and he thanked me, and that's all that really f and Marcus.
00:31:41.000But yeah, they thanked me, and that was really all I fucking need.
00:31:45.000That's gotta be a very intense kind of a role because you're playing a real human being whose family's still alive.
00:31:53.000Maureen, Johnny, Dan, uh, the whole family, and there's a destroyer, uh fucking beach, uh male uh UPS, or not UPS, but like a fucking um stamp or whatever named after him.
00:33:06.000And uh, so I don't know, I've just been embedded, and I think once you're in with these guys, you know, um you're you're you don't take it for granted.
00:33:18.000It's like I made calls to a buddy of mine that uh one of the most decorated seals alive, and uh he trained me for loan, uh Ray Mendoza.
00:33:28.000He just came out with Warfare, uh, that movie that's uh his best friend, uh, his story.
00:33:57.000And it's like it's just that whole brotherhood that it's like unquestionably, undeniably loyal.
00:34:05.000Yeah, and like Marcus, like I mean, we're chatting a lot lately just because I'm shooting in Huntsville in a couple weeks and he's not far, but like my my sister, I took some time off to help my sister because she was using uh drugs, and um, and I just needed somewhere to fucking go.
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00:38:23.000Um and uh so she was at this sober escape, and so Howler's Ridge is basically a place I think we all know an addict if we're not ourselves.
00:38:34.000And uh, and we're gonna help vets as well, but it's the sober side of addiction.
00:38:40.000So it's a place any time you're using, at least through my experience, watching my sister die a couple times, get narcanned a couple times.
00:38:50.000I mean, sh I've seen her detox on my fucking kitchen floor, which is the worst fucking sight of anybody to watch someone in so much pain.
00:38:59.000Um, but um this this spot is for her, you know, where where it all started.
00:39:05.000And this is I think anytime you're using right, we're all habitual humans.
00:40:37.000Um, they had fentanyl patches for the pain.
00:40:41.000And then of course, like, but that's really all I fucking, if that, like, obviously, I educated myself on it after, and it's 20 to 25 times worse than heroin, it's a deathbed drug, put you to sleep.
00:41:17.000And your muscle contractions are so bad that I had this little one-bedroom apartment in Marina Del Rey, 15, like literally a hallway from here, about this long, actually.
00:41:48.000And so she tried sleeping, going laying down, muscle contractions are so bad, she fell off the bed, and uh, I'm like, okay, let's go for a walk.
00:41:57.000Like, and the beauty of our relationship, and what I think was a huge factor in getting her clean was the transparency.
00:42:06.000Like, you gotta fucking be real with me.
00:42:08.000Tell me when you used, tell me how often, like everything.
00:42:12.000And she did, which is so tough to hear.
00:42:15.000Um, and so we ended up walking down Abbott Kinney at three in the morning, and no one's obviously out there, and we just did this crazy walk and talk, and I'll never forget it.
00:42:49.000And um, so I call this place, and they're like an hour away, and she's like, I have a bed for her, and bring her at 6 a.m.
00:42:59.000I mean, got this little wrangler, a two-door wrangler, and she's in the back seat, my mom in the front, and she's like almost kicking the fucking glass out because the muscle contractions of my Jeep.
00:43:11.000And I was like, holy like such a wake-up call that I had no idea it was this bad.
00:43:22.000I want methadone because she had detoxed before and methadone, and um, and so I go to this fucking house, and I knock on the door, and she's in the back seat, she's got her little backpack, and it's this fucking woman, like butchy in like presence.
00:43:42.000She opens the door, she's like, just a matter of fact, where's your sis?
00:43:46.000And I'm like, Oh, she's grabbing her bag.
00:44:53.000And it's sober living, you'll have one session, which isn't enough, uh, because she has some trauma, and um uh with a psych.
00:45:03.000And I was like one in 30 days, one every week.
00:45:06.000Oh, and I was like, we need a lot more than one a week.
00:45:10.000And um, so I draw and my sis was a runner, and uh, so do you sign this fucking contract, and it's like if she runs, if she leaves, if she does this, this, this, and that, you she's out.
00:45:23.000We kick her out and we keep your money.
00:45:50.000And I'm like bleeding cash, and then I figure out like another spot.
00:45:56.000She stayed like 30 days, relapsed, and then um, yeah, she kept relapsing, and then uh multiple times, Narcanned up in Calabasas, there's a place, and she left, and uh this one girl,
00:46:12.000she had uh night terrors, and um, so they would she had I would walk around Joe with this fucking uh ziploc bag of pills of like antidepressants for her night tears, sleeping pills, all these things to just take away this trauma for whatever beat it would be within her, right?
00:46:35.000And there's an amazing doc up there, and South African guy that deals with women addicts and trauma, and uh she was there for a while, and that was really great, and she got a hold of these sleeping pills, and they're supposed to give you one every night, and the girl put the bottle up on the little half door, you know, those doors swinging doors, yeah.
00:47:02.000And um, so she grabbed the bottle, and she was as a lot of these sober livings are they're pretty incestuous, and and the guys sleep with the girls, vice versa, obviously, and um she was dating a kid named Mike there, and so she went to that part of the house and said goodbye to Mike.
00:47:22.000And to this kid's credit, um, he was like, That's a little weird.
00:47:28.000You didn't say goodnight, you just said goodbye.
00:47:31.000And so she goes up, hammers 60 something sleeping pills.
00:47:34.000Oh, Jesus, yeah, and uh he goes and tells, he's like, Hey, this ain't right, you gotta go check on her.
00:47:41.000So, long story short, call the ambulance, and the medic to his credit is like, go grab the fucking bottle and uh grabs a bottle and shows this medic, and he's like, We're pumping her stomach right now in the ambulance, and um what saved her life were their time release.
00:48:45.000I'm just driving around looking for her.
00:48:47.000And uh anyway, she's just to go back to that environment.
00:48:52.000I'm like, I'm out of money, we gotta, I gotta send you back home to Vancouver.
00:48:57.000And she's like, You put me to Vancouver, I'm gonna die.
00:49:00.000And I'm like, well, it ain't working well here either.
00:49:03.000And uh she was at a psych ward on 34th in Lamar.
00:49:08.000Uh that was a fucked up story, but um for like 10 days.
00:49:12.000Um, but anyway, she got she went to this place called the Westy House in New Westminster, just outside Vancouver, and it's a it was a woman's only, and she was there.
00:49:22.000She ran there, and I got her back in and she got clean and hasn't looked back since.
00:49:33.000Oh I was I didn't even know what Al Anon was and uh I was at 360 Bridge, there's a church just across 360 Bridge, and uh is at this Al Anon, and uh and I'm waiting.
00:49:48.000I didn't shell's has been gone, so I'm waiting for the call of like okay, she's finally overdosed and gone.
00:49:56.000And so I'm a mess, and I'm in Al Anon, just waiting for this call, and I'm judging everybody in this fucking Al-Anon.
00:50:05.000Like, there's this woman across from me.
00:50:07.000She's like, Yeah, my husband, he used and um yeah, I got Christmas with him, and I'm like, fuck, that's easy day.
00:50:16.000I'm like, you don't even know what the fuck I'm dealing with over here, you know.
00:50:19.000And then you hear another story, and you're like, that's bullshit.
00:50:26.000And uh, so I just listen, it does help or help me a lot, and I come out in this one guy, he's like, Hey, you're heavy.
00:50:36.000You gotta you want to talk or anything, you didn't say a word in there, and and I'm like, right when he said that, my sis called, and she was downtown Vancouver, and she had just used and got scared straight.
00:50:49.000Um guy had followed her and sexually abused a friend of hers in front of her, and she's like, I can't do this no more.
00:50:57.000So she was scared straight, and she was that's what got her sober.
00:51:00.000She got she was downtown Vancouver, called me and she's like, Can you get me back in Westy House?
00:51:06.000And I call Susan was her name, and um call her back, and I'm throwing everything.
00:51:12.000I'm like, I will fucking uh support you guys.
00:52:05.000Yeah, we all know somebody that's like I stopped drinking yesterday, done.
00:52:10.000Yeah, like my buddy over there, you just met.
00:52:13.000It's just like he went for a few weeks and he hasn't had booze since, and it's like sometimes it just clicks and they're like, fuck this life, I don't want it anymore.
00:53:05.000So that like for me is a lot a big part of Howler's Ridge, and then with the vets, is we just chatted.
00:53:11.000I love these guys and and the families, and uh, so hopefully we'll have you talk about Ibogain.
00:53:18.000I know it we can't do that in Montana yet, hopefully, but I hope up there on Howler's Ridge, we can maybe in a year or two, we'll see what happens that we can do some of that up there.
00:53:30.000Well, I think it's gonna be so effective in Texas that it's gonna spread.
00:53:34.000And I think the fact that they're starting with uh veterans, yeah, because these guys don't get any support.
00:53:42.000There's I know you think about what they have to go through when they go off to war with the things that they experience, and then they come back and they've lost friends and they've seen their buddies get blown up in front of them, and they're they just they're all fucked up, and then they're hooked on pills.
00:53:58.000And the pills are just you can cookie monster a fucking jar if you want and they'll refill you like and there's different outlets like Virginia, Hawaii, Florida, doctors in each one that are sending you.
00:54:40.000That's one thing, and it's funny because uh not that I'm cocky or was cocky with Dark Wolf, but I had played this guy already before, and I lose my trident in it, and Mendoza's kind of getting the parade rest ready and the whole ceremony ready for it, and he's just a brother of mine, and it was a big moment that I learned because these workups, say you work up on a Thursday, and you go at 2 a.m. to 7 a.m.
00:55:10.000And you go take a couple guys out and you come back, whatever, celebrate, probably get have a few drinks, and then you have another work up on Tuesday.
00:55:20.000But let's say you and I go in the fight, and I die on that Thursday op.
00:55:27.000You're back in work up Tuesday morning.
00:55:30.000So this is one thing that really kind of punched me when I was talking to Mendoza because he was talking about some stories where he lost somebody, and I was like, There's literally no fucking time to mourn.
00:55:42.000There's no time to register the loss of this.
00:55:45.000So you're just harnessing this pain and this all these emotions.
00:55:49.000Yeah, and you're just like, okay, I guess I'm back in the fight, and I'm gonna do this for at least another few months before I'm out on my six-month uh tour.
00:55:59.000And that really kind of knocked me out, and that set me free to play this guy a lot more like just knee jerk emotion and way more of a live wire because it's like who the we talk about how subjective mourning is, you know, it's like everyone mourns differently.
00:56:30.000And did you have conversations with uh other vets that were addicts and that were fucked up from war and just had all sorts of different kinds of ways of dealing with trauma and all the time, yeah, all the time.
00:57:02.000And I mean I think uh obviously with Red Wings and and stuff like that with loan, but then you talk to these guys in between takes and they're pretty transparent, which is beautiful that they're talking about it and all this, but it's like, where are they putting this fucking energy after they're out?
00:57:20.000Like they gotta find another purpose that's so fucking heightened when you're serving.
00:58:06.000I mean, you look at Marcus too, after Red Wings, he went back to Ramadi.
00:58:10.000Yeah, which is wanted to die with his boots on.
00:58:13.000I mean, these guys are fucking this is kind of the UFC, right?
00:58:17.000Of like these guys are modern day fucking gladiators, warriors.
00:58:22.000And I I know they're not in the front lines or downrange, but it's like you you got a guy like Marcus or the Mendoza or these guys that are just truly born warriors.
00:58:32.000Yeah, There's just a they are a different breed.
00:58:34.000Well, that's why they get it through buds, too.
01:00:36.000Just go keep fly fishing, keep you know, just go on a motorcycle trip, go which is great, and I'll still do it, but I'm just so conscious of it of like don't get fucking comfortable.
01:00:46.000Don't think, don't rest on your work, you know.
01:04:41.000Um That's he meant a lot because it's it's everything.
01:04:44.000You saw that that guy is raw naked with his Shoshone brother and with startup with the covered in scars, and then goes into that uh teepee with the chief, the m the mother of his wife that he lost.
01:05:16.000So there's a scene where I go down to get horses, and I kill five or six guys at this skinning camp, and I think it's episode two, and Betty Gilpin, who's amazing, comes down and she's like, didn't trust me, and she comes down, I have to kill these guys.
01:05:32.000During that sequence, uh, I broke this my foot and they call cut, and I go to uh Dashenaw, the stunt coordinator, and um I'm like, Oh, it's broken.
01:05:44.000And he's like, I've worked with him for 15 years, and he's like, Don't fuck with me.
01:06:55.000And then uh six weeks goes by or a month, and I go back to Bozeman, take my boot off, and uh he does one last x-ray, and he's like, You need to be in surgery today.
01:07:07.000That's a shitty call to Netflix and Pete, and um so I got surgery, and then right before surgery, um he's like, We can pin it, but you're gonna be super active, and it may not take, or I can cut it out and put bone wax on it.
01:07:50.000Softening agent uses paraffin or petroleum jelly, and it's smeared across the bleeding edge of the bone, blocking the holes and causing immediate bone hemostasis.
01:08:20.000It's uh if I'm fly fishing or on uneven ground, it's or if I'm doing, you know, if I'm tracking or doing something uh side healing, which I fucking hate.
01:08:42.000We had to I had to be on the couch for six weeks, but my first day back was those two scenes, and I had called Pete, and I'm like, hey, I wrote this scene.
01:08:51.000I'd love because that scene was exposition with my mom at first.
01:08:55.000We were talking about Red Feather and stuff, and uh I'm like, this is my first day back after losing them that I haven't seen her since I've lost her daughter and her grandson.
01:09:07.000So this guy can't get through anything.
01:09:10.000Uh so that was the crutch, and thank you for noticing.
01:09:12.000That's the crutch of that whole arc to that guy.
01:09:15.000Yeah, it was an intense scene because he it was so realistic.
01:09:18.000Yeah, like what that's what a guy would look like.
01:09:20.000Like I I hate when you see someone who looks like they've been living an easy life.
01:09:24.000Yeah, and they take their shirt off and they're supposed to be like in some rugged outdoor environment.
01:10:04.000And um I play this drug addicted uh true story about these war photographers right before the during the apartheid, right before the first free election, Mandela's election.
01:10:15.000Kevin Carter's his name, he won a Pulitzer uh for this epic shot that he took.
01:10:20.000Um got a lot of uh flack for it, and ended up taking his own life.
01:10:24.000Um but that I had 30 days to prep, and I lost 35 in 30 days.
01:11:32.000And uh then I ended up getting a nutritionist there, and uh, she helped me a little bit, but that was a quick shoot, but um, that's where I think I fucked my body on that one.
01:12:03.000Here's me saying I love prep, but I had six months to get into that head space, and it just the last month I tried to pull out of the show.
01:12:12.000Yeah, because I was just this is I was just you're holding hoarding all this energy, and you I lost the weight, learning to play guitar and sing, which was a fucking comedy.
01:13:45.000I tried to pull the trigger on his car.
01:13:47.000He had a 1968 Camaro, and uh a buddy of mine texted me and said, Yo, the uh David Crush's car for sale, and he knows I'm a car head, and I'm like, I love cars, especially old muscle cars.
01:15:14.000Um but um yeah, his motorcycle came for sale, and obviously they knew we were making it.
01:15:22.000I kicked tires on it, and uh they wanted just it was probably worth two grand, they wanted 15 or something, and it was just like go fuck yourself.
01:15:30.000Right, they were just honestly like you just said, what am I gonna do with his moto?
01:15:34.000Yeah, I thought it was I was I thought it was silly at first, and then after a while I'll be like, I can't do this.
01:15:41.000I when before we opened up the comedy mothership in town, I was under contract for this place called the One World Theater that was also owned by a cult.
01:15:53.000Well, this is what's fucked up about the story.
01:15:56.000Ron White performed there once because they have concerts there.
01:15:59.000And Ron White did stand-up, and we were talking about opening up a club, and he said, You should buy that place down on B Cave, it's the fucking shit, it's beautiful theater, I think it's for sale.
01:16:16.000And so sign the contracts, all that, and then I get a call from my friend Adam, he goes, Hey, did you ever watch the documentary on that cult?
01:16:42.000And then he is on the run now because now the cult awareness network starts going after all these cults after Waco.
01:16:47.000They like, hey, you know, people's children are getting kidnapped essentially by these fucking maniacs, and you know, winds up being like Waco, we've got to stop these cults.
01:16:56.000And so he moves to Austin and changes his name.
01:17:00.000And uh has a the you know, this is the 90s, you could get away with changing your name.
01:17:37.000I'm like, let's just cost me a little bit of money, and I got out of it, and then we eventually got the writs on on Sixth Street, and that's the perfect spot anyway.
01:17:45.000But uh it was the thing of being in that building, yeah, knowing what happened.
01:18:39.000The nutty thing about this guy, though, is that he would do this thing to these people called the knowing, and you had to earn it.
01:18:47.000And when you earned it, it was this very special ceremonious moment, and he would put his hands on their head and he would do something to them, and these people would feel God.
01:19:41.000Well, he had them thinking about the moment that it was gonna come one day, and then he would take it away from them, and then and then one person would get it, and they would all sit around and watch, and they're like, when am I gonna get it?
01:19:52.000But when they got it, they would all be like, it's because we know that the brain produces psychedelic chemicals, and I guess you can trick it, which is I think what a near-death experience is.
01:20:05.000I think a near-death experience, your body your body's like, hey, it's over, flood the gates.
01:20:09.000Yeah, and then it rolls through, and then you, you know, you go down the the tunnel and light and all the jazz, and you meet dead people.
01:20:33.000And then he really done DMT a couple times, so he knew what the experience was, and then he really got into Kundalini yoga, and he was doing it for like six months, and then what is Kundalini yoga?
01:20:42.000It's a very specific kind of yoga that involves like deep breath work and there's a lot of like head bobbing, it's very strange, but it's you achieve a DMT-like state.
01:20:53.000He's like, you achieve a full-on psychedelic experience doing kundalini.
01:21:07.000I can't think about some new thing to be obsessed with.
01:21:09.000But but it's my point is that there is some little trigger in your brain that if you can trick your brain into snapping over to on, it just I believe that part.
01:21:22.000This fucking cult guy did it to those people.
01:21:24.000As much as they hated him as much as they knew he was a fraud, he fucked everybody.
01:21:28.000The crazy thing is like they didn't know that everybody was getting fucked.
01:21:32.000And so like one guy leaves the cult and he sends out this group email, like, hey, this guy's been hypnotizing me and fucking me for like ten years.
01:21:40.000And they're all like I thought it was only me.
01:21:43.000And then it became crazy where everybody had a story.
01:22:18.000And then the Dowdle brothers who wrote and directed, terrific guys.
01:22:23.000And um, I called John, and I think one thing that set me free probably on month three, because I was really stuck on everything we've just said of like how why am I playing some guy that's pretty fucking reprehensible in a lot of ways.
01:23:46.000There's photos of him, like they called it the bang bang because they had these police scanners, and once they would go this is early 90s, uh in South Africa, and once they heard it on the scanner, it's like a bang bang.
01:23:59.000And they would be there a lot of times before the cops, like some kind of civil rights or civil fight would happen and they would get hear it on the scanner and they'd go like Scooby-Doo kind of shit.
01:24:11.000They'd get there before the cops a lot of time, or the military, and they'd be in the middle of this shooting it, uh, photographing it.
01:24:19.000And you see pics of Kev that are just like him in like one shoe high, hiding behind like a fucking barrel in the middle of this gun fight.
01:24:31.000Like they would get really into it, and then he was a guy that just kind of took everything to heart, you know, of just he would see some fucking pretty abysmal shit and just be like, take it, you know, wear it.
01:24:46.000And so he would take these drugs and just to sleep and just to get over or get through it.
01:24:52.000Um but yeah, that was really tough coming out of him just because I didn't know myself enough or process be able to really kind of became a part of him.
01:25:03.000Yeah, and then the weight and all that, and then with Dave.
01:25:10.000Um yeah, I was so ready to gain the weight back and just wipe my hands with it.
01:25:16.000I always go on a motorcycle trip after, and that sets me free, hop helps me a lot.
01:25:21.000I'll write letters and just burn them.
01:25:25.000They say when you're like, if I get therapy or something, or it's like write a letter and literally watch it burn, and that is something like that's a a mind trick, I'm sure.
01:25:35.000Just like if there's trauma or something, figure out a way to let it go that way.
01:26:47.000And you smoke with Oliver Stone the first time?
01:26:49.000No, my first time he gave me some of his medicinal.
01:26:53.000And I went with a buddy who smokes weed all the time in uh staying at the Shangri Law in Santa Monica while we were filming, and my buddy bought uh brought over um a bong, a water bong.
01:27:58.000That is commercial production was discontinued in many countries during the n mid 1980s due to widespread misuse, addiction, and associated public health concerns.
01:28:07.000Yeah, you know when a popular drug gets pulled.
01:28:14.000So just because that was the first time you'd ever tried carrying around someone's thoughts, that was why it was because he was so fucked up.
01:30:29.000And uh I didn't have to find out, but I definitely was getting that really I was conscious of it, and he would have to have a moment with me of like, hey, you said this last night or do you think it was partly because you're trying to play a detective and detectives are kind of all fucked up, all fucked up in the closet, just a mess.
01:31:03.000Even getting ready for this, it's uh I play this um director of corrections in Texas.
01:31:09.000It's a true story about uh the longest hostage situation in Te in the US in a prison.
01:31:18.000It's 11 day hostage negotiation, and Freddie Carrasco is gonna be played by Luna, Diego Luna, who's I can't wait to see what he fucking does with this.
01:31:27.000But um I play the director of corrections, so we're negotiating for 11 days, and I and he's gotta be quite hard on his war in on the guys in his war room.
01:31:40.000And he kind of comes in and he takes over the negotiation.
01:31:44.000Um and he's never done a negotiation before.
01:31:47.000So he makes a mistake here or there, and he fucking pays the piper psychologically for it because it doesn't end great.
01:31:56.000And um, and so I'm starting to get into that mindset, and when I'm it with a buddy or something like that, I can be quite short and you start to see it filtering in.
01:32:06.000I'm like, okay, Jim is settling in me.
01:32:10.000Like I can start to feel it a little bit more.
01:32:55.000That fucking monologue Daniel Day has on the porch where he's like, I don't to his brother, I think it is, where he goes, I don't like people.
01:33:27.000That fucking thing of carrying a guy around like that, whether it's the detective or Koresh or the bang bang guy, it's like that's gotta be fucking exhausting.
01:34:24.000I think I mean you look at anybody that's great at anything, you have to that it's amount, It's the amount of sacrifice you're willing to give to it.
01:34:32.000Yeah, you have to be truly all in all the time.
01:34:35.000And I think it's that like the fear of failure, and also I don't want to fucking watch it and be like, oh can't you didn't know what to do?
01:35:30.000About he was still really fucked up and just doing way too many drugs and he was trying to be locked in and he was, and he just didn't do it.
01:35:37.000And then he wanted didn't want to do it anymore, so he was miserable while he was there, and he's all fucked up and and he's like apologizing to everybody now.
01:35:45.000I was like, I am so sweetheart of a guy, like a really nice guy.
01:36:00.000Because that guy went through it for so many years.
01:36:04.000The stories that he was telling about, like literally how 1 a.m. to 7 a.m. would go by like that, and then all of a sudden someone was pounding on his door.
01:37:17.000Well, people that he the girl he smoked crack with the first time he ever smoked crack with eventually overdosed.
01:37:23.000He told a story about the first time he smoked crack, this girl who's a crackhead, she gave him a blow job while he took his first hit of crack.
01:37:31.000He said, To this day I can't top that experience.
01:44:18.000He was like, We I didn't know that that world existed.
01:44:20.000He goes, like I was living in Malibu, you know, in this beautiful town on the beach, you know, everybody's like happy and wealthy, and his dad's a movie star.
01:44:29.000And then all of a sudden he's in the Philippines.
01:44:31.000And he's like in Francis Fort Coppola had all these sketchy people on set all the time.
01:44:44.000Using helicopters from the army, and he was saying that one time the army had to take the helicopters back because they there was rebels and there was a little bit of a big thing.
01:45:48.000Or when the when the uh when he the king pulls his helmet, he pulls the the helmet off the king and he sees he's fighting for the other side, and then you cut to Gibson this those fucking blue eyes that are trying he's trying to register that it's the king, his king.
01:46:05.000And that moment for me was just like, oh my god.
01:47:01.000Just riding the horse to all these cameras.
01:47:03.000Like ripping the horse to one camera, seeing the shock, going to the next, seeing the shock, going in, doing the speech, going looking to play back.
01:48:38.000That's a good question, but it's a great story.
01:48:41.000Um so prime evil, I was fly fishing in uh the Madison uh just West Yellowstone.
01:48:48.000I had four days off, so I went home to a Bozeman was fly fishing.
01:48:51.000Only my favorite spot on the in West Yellowstone.
01:48:54.000My bro calls me, and he's and I'm like, I just caught like a 20-inch rainbow or something, and I'm fucking ripping into my brother, being like, This fucking I'm killing it, the rod's on fire right now, and he's like, uh so my dad raced cars as well, and his race car name, or is we called him GUI growing up, and he's like, Gooey's got 48 hours to live.
01:49:20.000All right, um, literally, just verbatim like that.
01:49:24.000Like, I saw him the last 19 years, I saw him twice, and one time was in Montana, and he had early onset dementia, and uh my brother drove him down.
01:49:33.000Great stories there, but so I drive, I take my adventure van, drive up to Kelowna, my hometown, and um I've got this big beard from prime evil, and I hadn't talked to one of my brothers in years, and then I was still close with the oldest, and get to the hospital, and he's um I turn his wheelchair around, and I'm like, Hey, hey, gooey, and he's like, Who the fuck are you?
01:50:02.000Whoa, yeah, and uh he's on like oxygen, and I'm like, I'm your youngest son, and he's like, What are you doing here?
01:50:10.000And I'm like, I'm just here to say hi and and hang out for a couple days.
01:50:14.000And he was like on point, like his brain was going.
01:50:19.000And um, and it was a little like I hadn't seen my one bro forever.
01:50:23.000So how long had it been since you'd seen him before that?
01:50:26.000Years, a couple years, yeah, probably two years.
01:50:29.000And is it dementia that he didn't recognize you or the beard?
01:51:03.000And uh, he's like, This is what happens.
01:51:06.000Sometimes when somebody like this, he doesn't know he's dying, but he is once like all three of us brothers, all three of his sons were there, and it's like a high and everything he's just dialed into it all, and just very present.
01:51:33.000And so we were all there, and I had my assistant back in um Santa Fe, and I was like, hey, my dad played for a Kelowna Pipe Band, and I was like, call her.
01:51:46.000Get a piper and to come play for him at the hospital, and she's like, on it, and she was great.
01:51:54.000And uh the next the next or Friday night, I'm like, gooey, what do you want for breakfast?
01:52:00.000And he's like, give me something I shouldn't have.
01:52:02.000Give me like a fucking Costco muffin, and uh and a stupid amount of whipped cream and a coffee.
01:52:09.000And so, of course, I go overboard and bring him this fucking ridiculous the big chocolate chip muffin and and uh the coffee in the next morning, but he had gone from like dialed to he's hurting, and uh so we got this piper to come.
01:52:24.000We fucking we're not allowed to do this.
01:52:27.000We bring him out in the courtyard, and uh, and the piper comes and he's asleep, and uh she's like, uh, what do you what do you want me to play?
01:52:37.000Like we they know of my dad that he had played for the Kelowna Pipe End, and And I'm like, I don't know many songs.
01:52:45.000And um, I just obviously amazing grace and stuff like that.
01:52:48.000And so she just rips it, and he wakes up, and we're all buckled emotionally, right?
01:52:54.000Because this whole the pipes to us is just like that's our father.
01:52:58.000That's like our only memory, one of our only memories for him.
01:53:01.000So um, she plays two songs, and he's fallen asleep again, and he wakes up and he's and I'm like, Gooey, you got one more song.
01:53:10.000And he's like, Okay, he was a mama's boy, loved his mom, and uh, and she was amazing.
01:53:16.000And um, he's like, play one for my mother.
01:53:18.000So I think at that point, he knew he was about to go see her.
01:53:23.000And uh, yeah, so we have all this on video, and and um his brother was there and his wife and uh his best friend growing up, and so we fucking the nurse comes out after the pipes.
01:53:37.000They're not obviously the whole fucking hospital can hear this, and so we're obviously got caught, and she's like, Bring him up now.
01:53:47.000So we fucking have him in his bed, and you know those like um wheelchair ramps, uh-huh.
01:53:54.000It's like a hard 90 degree, and he's out, he's sleeping, and my middle, I'm the youngest of three boys, my middle bro's big, and then my other bro's like six, two, big boy too, and we're fucking we got him, and we're stuck in that turn.
01:54:12.000So now it's like weekend at Bernie's and this is like a uh pain movie where it's like he's fucking, I'm like, hey, gooey's stuck.
01:55:02.000Yeah, because other we were just buckled 10 minutes earlier, get him to the room, and he's in and out sleeping, and um the next day on Father's Day, uh, I had I had to drive back to Bozeman, and uh we have dark humor, and uh so everyone's in the in the room, and I'm like, all right, get the fuck out of this room, everybody like a joke, but the nurses are like, oh my god, what happened?
01:55:33.000I just want 10 minutes with him, and then I gotta go.
01:55:36.000I gotta go back to work, but I'm gonna say goodbye.
01:55:39.000And so they leave, and uh he's like kind of in and out of consciousness, and he would wake up and look right through you, like he's trying to be with you or present, or I don't know, that's kind of how I took it.
01:55:53.000And uh he's fighting consciousness, I guess.
01:55:57.000And um, small little side note, I was driving, and the shaman who was helping me for prime evil, he texted me once I got into Canada, and he was like, Hey, I had a dream, you gotta fucking call me.
01:56:14.000And I'm like, I don't know if I believe this stuff, but oh I'll call you.
01:56:18.000And so I call him and he's like, hey, something's up.
01:56:22.000And I'm like, I've told three people that my dad's going, and he's like, I had a fucking dream that you're about to lose someone.
01:56:31.000I don't know if they're close to you, and I hate calling.
01:56:34.000This is a crazy call, but I'm gonna listen to this.
01:56:36.000And I'm like, man, I'm on my way to say goodbye to my dad.
01:57:31.000I'm like, yeah, these are a little fucking soft gooey.
01:57:34.000Like maybe you should have worked harder, like no calluses, like nothing.
01:57:39.000Just you know, just trying to and then I went into like the nonprofit, and I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna try and get back and this and that, and I promised him.
01:57:49.000And um, and during that conversation, he would try and like be conscious and he was fighting to be there present.
01:58:00.000Um and then two hours I I left, and then I on the way home, I broke all and he had passed on Father's Day, and then um then I was back to work on Tuesday, fucking riding banana bread.
01:58:42.000And um, and Pete was like, hey, this, you know, do you want to ride banana bread into this into this shot or walk him?
01:58:49.000Or and uh I'm like, I'll I'll ride him in.
01:58:52.000And I was doing a scene with Shea Wiggum, and it was beautiful because I was upset that some knew that it's my news to tell, you know, but some had already knew the crew.
01:59:05.000So I was a little rattled at that when I got to set because everyone was very fragile with me, which I understand.
01:59:11.000Right, but I was like, whoever told you guys it's not your story to fucking tell, it's mine if I want to share it with the crew or whoever.
01:59:18.000But so I was a little upset on and set, but then a lot it was so beautiful, man, because a lot of these older guys on set would just come up and be like, Man, my father was this guy to me, this guy, but you know, I just I feel you, and they would share all their father stories.
01:59:35.000So it was a beautiful experience, and um Pete was great, and Betty Gilpin was amazing, and and that scene I just buckled, like walked away from the uh Fort Bridger, and I just was pretty emotional and and uh Pete was like amazing, and then we shot the scene, he's like, Go home, and then I got to my trailer, and literally to the minute uh of when I went down, that was the minute he got cremated.
02:00:06.000And then um, but I do think it it was really cathartic to be playing that guy, and then I had a beautiful sweat after, and I mourned him the right way, you know.
02:00:18.000It did knock me though, for like I'd say six months after I was like, What am I doing?
02:00:30.000Because I even if he's not in your life, you're still like to witness that is it was heavy.
02:00:36.000Yeah, but I had mourn him right, and uh, you know, I'm in a good spot now, but it it was an interesting thing of you just take stock, I guess.
02:01:20.000Lived in New York uh at a best friend that was a drug addict, and uh he was uh a crack addict at one point in time, and then uh later he started getting into uh harder stuff like opiates and he died of an overdose.
02:01:36.000And um I moved to LA in 94, but you know, we stayed friends, we hung out.
02:01:41.000Uh, he would come out to visit me, I'd go to visit him, but he was always fucked up.
02:01:56.000A couple days later, you had to go back to New York.
02:01:58.000But he uh died of an overdose, and uh another buddy of mine that uh I'm good friends with called me up that we were we were all tight together and called me up, and it just never made sense.
02:03:15.000If you try to pretend that you know your parents should have their shit together because you have your shit together and they were your parents.
02:04:43.000And I pull in I got this on fucking video.
02:04:47.000And uh I pull into the parking lot, a little church in the middle of my town, and they're doing the fucking putting the air in the bag, and I was like, this time it crushed me.
02:04:59.000And I took a video from my truck and I went out, introduced myself, and he's like, You're not gonna fucking believe this.
02:05:22.000And uh he stayed a while and then it was like this little church, you go into this little gymnasium kind of spot, and he stayed and played in the in the back.
02:05:33.000Uh and some of my uh that I didn't know, but some uh hit my dad's favorite songs, so I had those on video too, but it was just beautiful.
02:05:49.000I was the only one to speak at the funeral.
02:05:53.000And uh I'm in the pew, and it's his sister who I hadn't seen in a decade, And uh my two brothers and their kids, and my oldest is just a puddle.
02:06:07.000He's just he's wearing sunglasses and just a mess.
02:06:12.000And the priest was actually quite great.
02:06:14.000He was funny, and uh, and then my other brother was in front of me and he was a puddle, and he doesn't like speaking, and I don't either, as me, I'm I get a little nervous or whatnot.
02:06:27.000I'm always good if I'm in character or hiding behind something.
02:06:31.000But the priest was like, okay, um, now's the time to say something, and the whole church is just like and I look at Damon, my other brother Brody, and then Damon looks back at me, priest looks at me, he's like, now's the time.
02:06:50.000Oh, so you just had a just waiting it was you, yeah, and then my auntie Lee uh just squeezed my hand.
02:06:59.000And she's like she's like, Yes, you are.
02:07:03.000So I get up and I just said, you know, if there's any light to this whole situation, it's that all three us of us brothers are are back on great terms now.
02:07:46.000Trying to root him emotionally to those circumstances that were so foreign.
02:07:53.000Like the emotional beats of like, I just didn't understand it.
02:07:58.000I didn't understand how someone could do what he did, and then he was very woe is me.
02:08:04.000Like, he played the victim incredibly manipulatively well.
02:08:09.000Uh and I would always say he's like a great coach in and he would a great coach would be like with you, he could train you and push certain buttons, but then he'll do something totally different with someone else and incredibly manipulative.
02:08:24.000So I think just trying to root that and understand like I I don't think I'll ever understand some of the actions, obviously, um to that level, like how someone can do that.
02:08:37.000Um, but it is all out of fear and insecurity and trauma, like that part of it I did understand and memorizing the Bible as a defense mechanism because when he's with there was over 20 theologians that would get on the call with him,
02:08:54.000and if you and I listen to uh child protective service calls, uh obviously all the Nesnar uh calls, uh which was the played by Michael Shannon, who's amazing, and uh and every time he got his back to the wall and they had a point or had something or had a level up on him, he would go right into Bible speak, which nobody could keep up with him on.
02:09:20.000So he would gain that upper hand, and I would just go into a fucking dialogue about a dragon with one eye is about to come and show its face and bare its teeth and take the children.
02:09:32.000Like, what the fuck do you say to that?
02:09:35.000You know, if you're on the call, right, right and you're trying to have a rational conversation of like let the children out.
02:10:18.000Truly, and he would go to like Oxford and have debates with theologians in the classes, and that's how he recruited a lot of people that he would win these debates, and they would come and join, come to Texas.
02:10:34.000Like really, like he would write these letters to people and send tapes to Australia and get them to come.
02:10:57.000I mean, even the way like he's talking about God and the the end of days and um how he had needs to bear, I think around 22 children that are gonna go up with him and ride a cloud up there and all these crazy things.
02:11:15.000I can't remember, but people I do want to know.
02:11:18.000The to your point though, it's like he ended up shooting himself in the head, right?
02:11:24.000Which ironically, you don't go to heaven if you do that.
02:11:27.000Which is um, but also like he does all this shit, and I don't know, just that was a big thing for like Paul Sparks and I who played my right hand man of like when we shot that death scene of like, man, like I do wish to your point he was still alive and we could learn shit.
02:11:48.000You know, all these guys, they end this, like they drink the fucking Kool-Aid in the bed or the fucking like it's such a fascinating perspective that I do wish we could break that down and maybe learn something from this, than just him shooting himself in the head and burning a burning in the house.
02:12:45.000So he I know and this didn't come out until our last week of shooting.
02:12:51.000Cause I got along incredibly well with him.
02:12:54.000And he did give us he did write a great book and give me insight to moments that I asked to be in the show, but I mean, he was going I don't know, to North Dakota or the Dakotas to someone had blueprints for an alien warship, and he was going to see these blueprints, and we're just in between takes.
02:13:20.000We're in between takes sitting in our set chairs, and me and Paul Sparks, and we're like, hey, what what are you doing after this after we rap?
02:13:28.000And he went on and and told us he was going to look at blueprints to this warship, and we're like, okay.
02:14:01.000It's a very unfortunate roll of the dice, but yeah, your your brain does not let you navigate through life very well, and you need someone to hold your hand and tell you what to do, even if it's completely illogical.
02:15:24.000You know, I think it's just from tribal DNA.
02:15:27.000That's what I'm never thought about that.
02:15:30.000If when we were groups of like 150 people, the only way we could survive, you gotta listen to the wisest, most experienced person, and that's the tribal leader.
02:15:39.000It was the greatest warrior, the one who knew where the fish were, the guys guy who knows what you're supposed to eat and not eat and where the danger is, and you that guy's gonna help you, keep you alive.
02:15:50.000And we always have that in everything.
02:15:51.000We have it in businesses, we have there's always like a one top monkey at the top of the park.
02:17:41.000And he goes to the front door in a tank.
02:17:44.000Oh and uh the door has this big piano.
02:17:47.000I tried getting this in the sho in the show, and we couldn't.
02:17:51.000But um, so there's a big piano at the front door, blockade, Dave wasn't allowed to walk by the windows, all this kind of stuff.
02:17:58.000This is deep into the 51-day standoff.
02:18:02.000And uh Dave's right hand man and uh the uh played by Paul Sparks and another his lawyer, Harvard grad, I think.
02:18:11.000Um to the door, and Dick's like, Oh, I see uh the bullet holes in the ceiling, couple bodies that the ATF weren't uh didn't allow you to take out.
02:18:22.000Um you got a case here, but where's Dave?
02:18:26.000And they show him the house and all this kind of stuff, and so they're back in the foyer and the piano's against the wall, and they're talking, and he's like, Okay, uh, I don't I want to help, but I don't know where Dave is.
02:18:41.000And he's leaving, and he's like, You got a fucking case.
02:18:44.000And the right-hand man just goes, Dave was in the fucking piano, listening to this whole thing.
02:19:29.000But those guys apparently in that in that tank, they were like ripping Dick DeGuren and like spitting on him and doing this kind of shit because they're like, you do know they just killed a bunch of ATF guys in that shootout as well.
02:19:44.000And you're gonna go fucking be this guy's lawyer?
02:20:33.000Here, find a cult leader into weapons, selling ammunition, I think, and bulletproof vests and this kind of stuff.
02:20:41.000And this guy's got these kids and all this is perfect.
02:20:47.000And that started it of just like we're gonna go get this guy.
02:20:50.000And there's a famous tape that we put in the show too, where Dave was like, you know, why didn't you just like he did this run all the time and was kind of just out and about working on the house, running around.
02:21:03.000He had a fucking go-kart track around the uh the compound, and he's like, Why wouldn't you just arrest me when I'm on a run when I'm on this or that?
02:21:14.000But they needed a lot of press and they needed to get funded again.
02:21:17.000So they made this a spectacle, and then it fucking turned into what you saw.
02:21:23.000Like they were they wouldn't let fire trucks come and take that fire out.
02:28:32.000But there's like certain spots where you know, like you if you wanted to tank a movie, you'd do a focus group and you know, some moron community where everybody's on fentanyl.
02:32:49.000And his so his first book out of the gate, it's like he'd been paring for it his whole life.
02:32:54.000I mean, when he comes on to set, and we're shooting this episode five, he came to Budapest, and his energy, like he's like a kid in a candy store, man.
02:33:05.000It's like I'm fucking gassed out, tired, and like just getting beat up, and here comes Carr, and it's just the light.
02:33:16.000He just brings an energy to that set that is just like, man, we're so lucky to be here.
02:33:51.000It's it's so cool when a guy like that gets to write stories that r sh really reflect the true lives that he led, and then he knows a lot of his friends lead, and it's real.
02:34:06.000It's like he has a an understanding of it that obviously the success of his books and the success of the series, that understanding just translates in a way like, oh, this is very authentic.
02:34:18.000Even like little notes, man, I would get with the gun work and all that kind of shit, and obviously you listen, but it's just like he's he comes at you of just more excitement.
02:34:30.000And you don't take it personal, you can't, and you want to get it fucking right.
02:34:34.000When you have him and Jared Shaw, who's another SEAL and Mendoza, who's a SEAL, and we got a uh what uh uh Army Ranger who writes a lot of it, like we're surrounded by these guys every day.
02:34:47.000So if they want if anything is not authentic, you're I mean the bullshit meter is like fucking two feet away, right?
02:34:55.000You know, right and I love that though, because they're doing a lot of my work for me, helping me, making me look like fucking Ben.
02:35:02.000Right, right, you know, it's a complicated character, too.
02:35:06.000Yeah, a lot of that stuff, like one of my best buddies is seal and had like 200 guys under him, fought in Ramadi and bomb specialist guy, wicked dude, and um there's a moment in the CIA room and in episode one that was written,
02:35:24.000and then I kind of I've been hearing this from him for so long, and so it's kind of ingrained in me of just like how there's always someone to answer to, and you're never really getting the full transparent part of what they're putting you out for.
02:35:40.000So I'd heard all these stories for like the last since loan, I met him on loan, and um, and so that scene, I was like, This is for you, man.
02:35:50.000I'm just gonna fucking go and have at it with this CIA guy, and uh he was at the premiere and watched it and loved that beat, but it's like I get to serve you know some of these guys that they they don't get to have those moments, right?
02:36:03.000Right, you know, and that's so fun for me to just fucking go and light them up in that room.
02:36:10.000One of my favorite scenes cathartic, yeah, yeah.
02:36:13.000So I steal from these guys, even like, and I get it.
02:36:17.000I got hammered or Ben got hammered for being the twist of uh season one, right?
02:36:22.000I'm the guy who kind of orchestrated a lot of it, and um, and I was talking to Marcus because I'm like, How the fuck am I gonna root this guy?
02:36:31.000The seal that's like best friends with Reese, and now all of a sudden the twist is like man, I I had a hand in this.
02:36:40.000I I'm the guy that it put you guys down that tunnel on that op and your whole fucking platoon died, uh, for the most part, and um I just literally it was like a little moment that I had with Luttrell where he was talking about going back and dying with his boots on, and I was like, really settle into what that means.
02:37:02.000This warrior is just decidedly going to die over there serving.
02:37:06.000It's beautifully tragic, and I was like, that is where I hung my hat with Ben of like how I can root this crazy twist of like I'm making this decision for you, but you're gonna go die with your boots on instead of this fucking you're gonna die rotting in this hospital bed, no insurance, your family, all this kind of shit.
02:37:26.000I'm like, I'm gonna take that decision for you.
02:37:29.000So that's where I rooted Ben for season one.
02:38:11.000And how it goes back to like you're in mourning of a buddy, uh, you you broke this promise, his family's dead, and now I'm on an op and I get in front of the guy that killed this guy's family.
02:38:37.000Like it's it's a very it's an emotional reaction that you know frays his life and uh the other character uh uh race character, he gets his trident taken.
02:38:51.000But it's that's one thing we were talking about earlier of just like it's so fucking gray, and in these really split decision moments that you have these guys aren't fucking robots out there, it's like they're emotional, they're fucking trained like better than anybody, but at times they have to make these decisions that is like okay, you're gonna fucking put those girls on a black market or sell them or put them in the sex trade, you don't get to live anymore.
02:40:05.000And so we started shooting, and uh I was like, we're shooting at 10,000 feet up there, and you're cold, and we're still spoiled, obviously.
02:40:14.000Your trailer's 50 feet away, but it's like fuck this.
02:40:19.000I'm like, there is nothing in me that would want to be in the 1850s.
02:41:22.000You've got like a truly beautiful, incredible, unjust.
02:41:29.000If you've never experienced the mountains, like the true mountains, especially when there's some snow on the ground and the the winds whistling around.
02:42:38.000And I think for me too, it's so good for the brain for all those reasons, but also it's just like if I'm sitting around feeling sorry for myself or whatever it is, bored.
02:42:48.000It's like it's your fucking fault if you're bored out there.
02:44:18.000And I think I get how people used to want to live there because it was the center of you know the TV business and the comedy business, but it's it's not worth it, kids.