Eddie the Twister joins us to talk about his love of the fleshlight and why you should get a Fleshlight. Also, Brian tells a story about a girl he bought a fleshlight from Hustler and how she didn t want to have sex with him because she thought he was a guy who only wanted to fuck other people. Enjoy the episode and remember to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting apps! We are sponsored by The Fleshlight, so thank you so much to them for making this podcast possible. If you don t already have one, go buy one and enjoy this episode of the podcast! XOXO, Brian and the boys. Xoxo, Brian & the boys xoxo. Brian & The Boyz -Bryan & the Boyz - Eddie The Twister ( ) Brian: & the Fleshlight ( ) - The Sex Machine ( ) Eddie: . and the Sex Machine This is a sponsored podcast, so please be nice with us. We don't want to offend anyone, we just want to make it as good as we can be. -Brian & the boyz - Thank you for listening to this podcast. We appreciate all the support and support! - Brian and The Boyzz - - Brian , Mike and the Boyzz :) Love ya! - Brian & Co Thank you, Brian, Jake, - Mike & the Boys Thanks, Mike, The Boycie, Mike, and the Man in the Box Bobby & the Man at the Pizza Parlor ? Ben, , and the rest of the Crew at The Boycott? Cheers, etc... Joe & the Crew, etc. - The Boyco thanks for listening and supporting us. Love you, Ben & the Jerk & The Man at The Man in LA The Jerk and The Man with the Boycizer . . - The Man Who Couldn't Do It? - JUICY PODCAST - Joe & The Girl at The Pizzaree, BOB & the Caravans - EJ & The Boys at the House of Blues - Thank You, Mr. JB & the Girl at the Pizzaro's
00:01:30.000If we were not sponsored by The Fleshlight and we just became a subject of the conversation of the podcast, I would tell you, go buy one of those fucking things.
00:02:37.000She came out to LA and hung out for a weekend.
00:02:41.000And for some reason, she wasn't down at all.
00:02:42.000She wasn't Oh that's right Remember that She wasn't down at all She didn't want me to touch her Now she's Staying at my fucking house And she doesn't even want to touch me I didn't kiss her or nothing So I decided to take her to the Hustler store And go shopping for a fleshlight That's right This is a great story.
00:03:00.000So she couldn't fucking believe that...
00:03:02.000She thought I was kidding, that I went to the store to buy a fleshlight.
00:03:05.000I'm like, hey, if you're not going to give me the pussy, I gotta...
00:03:08.000You know, this is the second best thing.
00:04:31.000You'd get him one for his birthday, right?
00:04:32.000I would say, listen, man, your body is a biological organism that doesn't understand your life.
00:04:39.000It wants you to make decisions for it, not for you.
00:04:42.000So it's going to try to trick you into fucking.
00:04:44.000Someone with no condom and having babies.
00:04:47.000I mean, that's what your body's trying to do.
00:04:48.000And it can get real confusing who you actually like as opposed to who your dick is telling you you like.
00:04:54.000You know, when you're horny all the time, your dick convinces you that you like people you don't even like just because you can fuck them.
00:05:00.000And for a kid, when you're just learning how to get into relationships, that shit's very tricky.
00:05:04.000I think every young kid could benefit from...
00:05:07.000They should teach kids how to jerk off in school.
00:05:09.000They should teach kids how your dick is going to confuse you, and how it's going to send you all these messages, and being horny is actually a baffling thing that takes years and years to master.
00:05:19.000And they can make Hannah Montana fleshlights.
00:06:25.000A girl was arrested on child pornography charges because she's 15 years old.
00:06:30.000She sent pictures of herself to a bunch of kids in her class and they eventually dropped the child pornography charges but they charged her with one count of using criminal tools.
00:08:43.000But then texting plans were really expensive and ridiculous, you know, because all these newcomers, I used to have jokes about texting.
00:08:51.000My fucking 2005 Showtime special, there's a joke in there when I'm like, it takes you four presses to get an S. Why don't you just fucking call me?
00:10:42.000It would have to be like almost like a green screen.
00:10:45.000The great Joey Diaz said the best thing.
00:10:46.000When I was talking to him about this, Joey Diaz says, he's going to be like, imagine calling your girl and go, let me see your pussy right now.
00:12:31.000What Macromedia Flash is a program on your websites when you see like animation and different kinds of like, you know, you put your cursor over something and it does some funky thing.
00:12:40.000Most of the time you're dealing with Flash on a lot of these sites and apparently Flash crashes a lot.
00:12:45.000I've had it crash a bunch of times on me.
00:12:47.000And Microsoft has their own version of shit.
00:12:51.000But what's cool is that there's actually companies now that have software that if you put it into Flash, and I guess Flash is working with this company, that if you go to this website and it has Flash, Flash will detect that you do not have Flash on your iPad or whatever, and it will convert it into an HTML 5.0 program or whatever.
00:13:31.000You're watching it just – you're just watching a video file.
00:13:34.000I think you're right that people are hesitant to change and then they worry about flash falling apart and, you know, they say, oh, this is crazy, you know, my website is coded like this and that's just how it should be.
00:13:43.000But when new shit comes along that's better, you just gotta accept it, you know?
00:13:47.000I think what's more fascinating to me than anything is this FaceTime thing and the rise of the droid phones.
00:13:54.000Dude, droid phones are like an infection.
00:13:57.000There's like so many goddamn droid phones now and they do everything the iPhone does and more.
00:15:31.000It's still, to me, a very impressive phone.
00:15:34.000Yeah, the phone hardware itself is great.
00:15:36.000But when you compare, like, somebody was going off on the other day about how, like, oh yeah, this has an 8 megapixel camera, where the new iPhone only has a 5 megapixel camera.
00:15:44.000And I was like, megapixels don't mean shit.
00:15:46.000That's why, like, every year we've stopped at 12 megapixels for most cameras.
00:15:50.000And if you notice, like, most Sony cameras that were 12 megapixels last year are now 10 megapixels.
00:18:13.000You can set it so that it'll put interval training into your workouts and give you different alarms, like when you run, when you stop, when you rest, when you go.
00:18:21.000I mean, the flash, the webcam, the HD video, 5 megapixels.
00:19:28.000You think that's really what killed them?
00:19:29.000You don't think that it was on Sprint?
00:19:31.000I could tell you as having a Palm Pre Plus that every single program that you can download for that thing sucks shit compared to the iPhone versions.
00:19:39.000And the Palm Pre's been out for a year plus longer, the webOS.
00:19:54.000And they're saying this Palm Pre thing, it's really what's interesting about it was it was like the number one thing, but then it petered out and nobody gives a fuck about it.
00:20:02.000You know, like no one's like in line to get Palm Prees.
00:20:32.000I remember when I first got it, I got it out of the box and everything, and I was playing with it, and I was like, looking at it, weighing, and I was like, this is the ultimate piece of technology.
00:23:17.000In case the world ends, you need a landline.
00:23:20.000In case the solar flares fuck up those satellites.
00:23:23.000There was an article I was reading about that, about we're at a moment of the sun's awakening, and that the next couple years is unprecedented solar activity.
00:23:32.000So unprecedented solar flares that can wipe out satellites.
00:23:36.000And so what they're trying to get really good at is predicting these events so that they can shut down or put these satellites on safe mode.
00:23:43.000Which is pretty nuts when you think about how much we're reliant on these satellites and, you know, for satellite radio.
00:24:42.000So, Eddie's a big proponent of the ancient alien theory, and Eddie's the first person that ever got me into Zacharias Hitchin, and we've had, dude, how many bones have we smoked fucking talking about the Anunnaki?
00:24:54.000I mean, we've had more, more ridiculous spaceman, alien, Anunnaki conversations, ancient, ancient, you know, tribe theories, shit, where, you know, civilizations died off and left so much information that was just lost forever, like the Mayans and, of course, the Sumerians.
00:25:13.000And the Sumerians talk of an even older civilization before then.
00:25:16.000So Eddie's the one who got me into that.
00:25:42.000She goes, oh, my God, I was at this party last night, and this guy was talking about how we were created as slaves to mine gold for aliens on another planet...
00:25:52.000I'm like, oh my gosh, shut the fuck up.
00:25:55.000I was like, Gina, just shut the fuck up.
00:25:57.000He goes, no, everybody was tripping out on this guy talking about this crazy...
00:26:01.000I'm like, aliens made us slaves to mine gold?
00:26:11.000And I thought it was weird that, as crazy as all that sounded, it is weird that the one thing that we all agree on, every culture, every race, we can't agree on.
00:27:21.000As crazy as all that sounds, if you really look into it, basically, Zachariah Sitchin is this guy that transcribed the ancient Sumerian texts.
00:27:32.000They're like 20,000 tablets of all these stories and all this shit.
00:27:36.000Who knows what they really say because very few people can actually transcribe it.
00:27:40.000Some people think Zachariah Sitchin is crazy and he's just making shit up.
00:28:00.000Because there's images of a big giant person with a small person.
00:28:04.000It's a person, but it has a tail like a monkey.
00:28:07.000And you're like, what the fuck is that?
00:28:09.000They have the double helix, the DNA double helix is their caduceus.
00:28:13.000You know, they have that in their images.
00:28:15.000What if it was just like a thespian guy that walked around the tribe, you know, that's dressed up as a cat and somebody drew up, you know what I mean?
00:29:31.000The fact that we can send photographs to people, and you can get video downloaded from your phone, and you can basically answer any question immediately by pressing, you know, Google Talk, or the Google thing, where, you know, you talk into it and you say, you know, what year did Columbus sail, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:48.000And it'll give you the information, like, instantly.
00:29:56.000100,000 years longer and stayed alive and managed to keep evolving, for sure we would get to the point where we would be able to travel to other fucking planets and find other species that we thought weren't advanced enough and fuck with them.
00:30:09.000If we decide at a certain point in time with all this investigation that we're doing into life, like what they're doing right now with synthetic cells where they are creating cells, creating cells and eventually creating living organisms, this is all really going to happen.
00:30:21.000If we get to the point where we realize that life itself is just a code that we can manipulate and change to our will.
00:30:28.000Well, when that happens, man, you're not going to think anything's wrong with taking some monkeys and making them smarter and having them work for you.
00:30:36.000You know, and if there's a super intelligent being or a race of beings that's thousands of years advanced from us or millions or perhaps even a billion, you know, what if they live in a protected solar system where they don't have to worry about asteroids or What if the asteroid impact is not a common thing?
00:30:53.000What if, you know, all this shit that happens in our solar system is kind of rare and in other solar systems they don't have meteor problems?
00:30:59.000I mean, if that's the case, if that's true, they could be a billion years older than us.
00:33:08.000There's a bunch of debate about this planet, Nibiru, and there's a guy who's got a website called SitchinIsWrong, and his website is SitchinIsWrong.com, and this guy does not believe that there was, that there's this planet, you know, this Nibiru, and he has the quotes to the text...
00:33:23.000It's really involved, and I haven't really looked into it.
00:33:25.000I don't know who the fuck is right and who's wrong.
00:33:28.000But I do know that just all the shit that came out of that one area is really fascinating.
00:33:34.000And when you find out that that one part of the world is responsible for the first mathematics, the first astronomy, first astrology, first written language, first use of the wheel, first everything, first agriculture.
00:35:32.000If I went back home to Boston and hung out, I would think, like, God, the dudes I went to high school with, like, dude, you're still living in this fucking crazy land.
00:35:44.000It's like Sumer, you know, it became Iraq, and everybody eventually moved on to other places in the world.
00:35:49.000People who weren't satisfied with where they were and how life was, if that's where all human beings supposedly came from, everybody who left is the people that were trying to find something better.
00:35:58.000It kind of makes sense that if everybody, if that really is the cradle of civilization and everybody left from there trying to find something better, of course the people that remain suck.
00:37:52.000They're doing all these experiments with human DNA, and they figure out how to synthesize human DNA with animal DNA. I think it was lizards or some shit.
00:38:00.000I don't know what the fuck they spliced it with.
00:38:02.000So they just wanted to see if they could do it.
00:38:05.000So she closes the door and does it, you know, like, so he can't stop her, and he runs in, and she presses the button.
00:38:30.000Because I have a feeling that I'm going to like it.
00:38:33.000Because I've read, I've actually, because after you made me not see it, and then I kind of got angry, and then I was talking to some friends of mine, and they said, dude, what is he talking about?
00:41:35.000If you go in and want to see something ridiculous, you're going to like it.
00:41:38.000But if you go in thinking you're going to get the shit scared out of you like some new alien movie, that's what I thought it was going to be.
00:41:43.000When I saw it, it looks like she was threatening in the previews.
00:41:47.000It looks like she was threatening one of the scientists.
00:41:48.000I'm like, oh, they create something, and it's fucking crazy, and it gets out of control, and it's scary.
00:41:52.000I remember seeing it this week, and I can't wait to discuss it.
00:45:08.000The reason why people are so into this, it's like, when you...
00:45:11.000When you look at how infantile our culture is, we want to believe that there is silly fake shit out there like vampires.
00:45:20.000We believe so much retarded shit as far as just what the government feeds us and the news feeds us and what corporations feed us and our perceptions of how we have this world under control and everything's fine and wars are just and all the crazy shit that we justify ourselves doing.
00:45:35.000If we can believe all that shit, why not vampires?
00:45:57.000There's people that shave their teeth into fangs, Eddie.
00:46:00.000There's people that shave their teeth into fangs.
00:46:02.000Oh, I've seen that, but that's just golf.
00:46:04.000At a certain point in time, it's like, yeah, okay, look, the guy's not undead, and yeah, he's not going to live forever, and he's not going to drink people's blood to stay alive, but people are crazy enough to think that they are vampires to truly believe it and actually go out and murder somebody and drink their blood.
00:47:20.000I understand, you know, everybody has their own point of view.
00:47:22.000But when you start talking about devils, you start talking about Satan, like, Jesus Christ, really?
00:47:29.000You think there's a fucking bad man who's pulling people's strings and tempting you with pussy and cigarettes, and you really, you think that's real?
00:47:37.000That a devil makes you make bad decisions and makes you rape and beat people up and shit?
00:47:43.000You think the devil's doing that, tempting you?
00:52:07.000Interesting conversation I read with Brad Pitt talking about Tom Cruise, about working on that movie together, and something about how- Vampire one?
00:55:48.000I think, yeah, man, I think that's got to be one of the greatest tortures in life, to be, you know, deformed, trying to make fun of your deformity to make a living.
00:55:58.000Most people, you look at, like, someone with no arms, no legs, and really, like, our first instinct is, like, damn, he's never going to be truly loved.
00:57:27.000It's not just whether or not people want to fuck them.
00:57:29.000Yeah, but Eddie, isn't it that you're going to get married though, 50% of that time you're going to be with somebody maybe that That doesn't want to be desired by most people either, but you both are undesirable together.
00:57:40.000And you go 20 years without having sex.
00:57:55.000I don't even, I mean, sure, everybody wants people to love them, but I think what they really want is to just not be a mess, you know, to not be a physical mess, not be...
00:58:05.000You know, some sort of a genetic aberration.
00:58:07.000You know, that's what the terrible feeling of pain is.
00:58:11.000You know, that's why these guys are all fucked up and angry.
00:58:13.000And Gary Coleman was angry as fuck before he died.
00:58:16.000You know, you always hear about stories about him yelling at people.
00:59:10.000It was the last season, the unfinished season, where he goes back and he fucks with everybody who told him that people that didn't believe in him, like club owners and all that stuff.
01:00:04.000You guys remember the first episode of Different Strokes where Mr. Drummond took his two new boys, Willis and Arnold, and they all got in the hot tub together and they were all wearing tighty-whities?
01:01:14.000We were talking about this before, that toxoplasma, that's that cat tranquilizer, or the cat parasite, rather.
01:01:22.000We talked about this on other shows before, but I watched a documentary yesterday, read some articles about it, and this thing called toxoplasma is a very common parasite that human beings get that completely alters our behavior.
01:01:35.000And get this, in Brazil, 66% of the population is infected with this toxoplasma.
01:02:05.000And what it does with rats is it gets rats convinced that it rewires their sexual brain, the sexual aspect of their brain, and it gets them to be aroused and connected to cat piss.
01:02:19.000So these rats, it hijacks their sexual system.
01:02:23.000So their sexual system all of a sudden becomes sexually aroused.
01:02:26.000Like their testes swell, their balls swell, because they smell cat piss.
01:02:30.000So these motherfuckers are searching after cat piss.
01:02:32.000So they're going towards where cats live.
01:02:50.000Then the cat hangs around with people.
01:02:51.000And we, you know, have to clean the cat's shit.
01:02:54.000And when people clean the cat's shit, sometimes people touch the cat's shit.
01:02:57.000And if you touch the cat's shit and it gets inside your bloodstream through either an open sore or maybe something in your food or maybe you touch your eyes or something like that, that shit gets in your body, man.
01:03:06.000And 60 million people in this country are infected by it.
01:03:14.000You could get it from raining cat shit all over your dick.
01:03:17.000You could get it from touching raw meat as well.
01:03:19.000Yeah, 60-something million people in this country are affected by it.
01:03:24.000And they said a disproportionate amount of people who die in motorcycle accidents.
01:03:28.000One of the things he was talking about was that they would test motorcycle accident victims for toxoplasma because the toxoplasma, this parasite, this cat parasite, makes people do nutty shit.
01:04:36.000That's an interesting thing that you said that because that's one of the things that one of these articles was saying was that people who are normally polite people, when they sneeze, will sometimes inadvertently or unconsciously turn towards people and sneeze.
01:04:50.000They don't even realize why they're doing it.
01:05:08.000It's very possible, if you think about what it does to cats and what it does to people, it's very possible that some viruses could try to get you to be attracted to people when they expel.
01:06:03.000It's fascinating when you think about that your whole life could get hijacked.
01:06:06.000Like some parasite could literally take over your body and talk your body into living a totally different life.
01:06:13.000And what the doctor was talking about, the scientist, Sapolsky I believe his name is, what he was talking about was that the idea of free will is really an illusion.
01:06:22.000Like there's a bunch of mitigating factors that cause you to move in one direction or another and to make certain decisions.
01:06:28.000So to think that you have complete free will is kind of silly.
01:06:31.000If you go on Amazon, there's a urine detector for cat urine.
01:06:35.000And if you ever buy it, just be warned.
01:10:34.000Before we embark on our journey, please ask that you please do not rock, twist, kick, or hold on to the pirate in front or behind you, or you will have to walk the plank.
01:10:50.000If at any time you start to feel safe and wish for your adventure, Oh my god.
01:15:03.000There's like a pool, like a wave pool, and then they have like this small pool for just like kids and stuff like that.
01:15:08.000Hey, man, I know a woman who was a nurse, and her daughter went to one of those parks, swallowed some water, and got horribly sick and became paralyzed.
01:15:17.000She got some sort of terrible infection.
01:15:19.000She was deathly ill, and she wound up with a limited use of her legs, man.
01:16:24.000I used to, as a kid, when I was drunk driving, I would keep toothpaste in my car, and I would put it in my mouth and swish it in between my mouth and swallow it.
01:17:43.000I used to eat grass so much as a kid that now I could get wheatgrass juice, and I love the taste of wheatgrass just because I used to eat so much grass as a kid.
01:22:06.000Make a filter out of roses, like a diaphragm, and it has little stickies on it on the side, and you just stick it right to your butthole so it's like a filter.
01:23:14.000Why don't they make filters for your underwear?
01:23:16.000If you like to eat a lot of Mexican food or if you're going out drinking and you know you're going to be farting, why don't they have some filters?
01:24:34.000So, speaking of Mexicans, the Gulf of Mexico, that fucking oil spill, they've just determined that the oil's coming out in multiple locations.
01:24:41.000They've just confirmed that it's not just this one spot.
01:24:44.000So even if they dig this relief well, it still might be fucked.
01:25:42.000Some fucking dragon that eats the oil and then stores it in like a special gland and it's got rocks in the back of his throat and that's how it sparks up the flames.
01:26:07.000Yeah, I think Komodo dragons were just like, you know, dwarfs of their big old...
01:26:11.000So you think like the Chinese dragon came from someone saw like a crocodile or a kimono dragon and just drew it and the story went back and forth throughout time.
01:27:00.000Yeah, but vampires are supposed to be dead.
01:27:02.000Yeah, but what if the parasite hijacks your aging system, too, and keeps you alive, but it makes you feast on blood?
01:27:07.000The idea of a blood-sucking person, a person that lives off blood, that a parasite could trick you into doing that, that is way more possible than a werewolf.
01:27:18.000Someone changes back and forth to another animal, and then back again?
01:27:22.000So you're saying that sun can burn people during the day?
01:27:25.000No, but I could say that if they had some sort of a crazy blood problem, where they may be intensely anemic, they might have a real aversion to sun.
01:27:35.000They might lose the pigment in their eyes.
01:28:41.000How do they know it makes them submissive?
01:28:43.000The CDC says 6 million people, or 60 million people, rather, in America have it.
01:28:46.000This is the CDC. If you look online, there's many different studies, many different reports, many different scientists working on this.
01:28:53.000Toxoplasma is a very real parasite that is actually detectable in people that they know is also responsible in part or connected in part to all sorts of different psychological ailments.
01:29:06.000Yeah, but the part that it's making girls submissive, that part of this whole thing.
01:29:11.000No, it's not just one guy saying this.
01:32:25.000There was this report that came out that Johnson& Johnson, the company that owns Tylenol or whatever, hired this third-party company from San Diego to act like customers and go into grocery stores and buy all this one product off the shelf.
01:32:41.000Like they were doing a phantom recall, meaning they didn't want to tell anybody or anyone to know.
01:32:46.000So they hired a company to go into grocery stores and to pharmacies to take this product off their shelf.
01:33:07.000But Tylenol, Johnson& Johnson, was supposed to give over to the FDA this report about their findings and stuff like that, and they missed the deadline.
01:33:15.000I think the deadline was yesterday or two days ago.
01:33:17.000They missed the deadline, so something might be up with Tylenol.
01:33:20.000So if you have any Tylenol from 2008, you might want to go check it out, throw it away, or do whatever you have to do.
01:33:25.000There was another report I was reading that said something like there was 30 deaths related to Tylenol in the last two years, and they don't know if that's connected or not either.
01:36:13.000Nobody wants to be fucking some coked up chick who's just got her half an eye on the nightstand at all times looking over at that mirror while you're banging her and just wants another line.
01:36:21.000Yeah, but what if you're annoyed with the chick?
01:36:23.000You just want her to fuck out, but you want to drop a load first?
01:38:32.000He is one of the guys that's a grown adult that subscribes to Cat Fancy magazine that actually keeps that magazine in business, which I can't believe.
01:42:15.000That's a tricky situation for a weed doctor, man.
01:42:18.000It's going to be wild if it gets through the woo!
01:42:20.000If it gets through in California and it becomes absolutely legal, it's going to be fucking crazy.
01:42:26.000It's going to really change the culture here.
01:42:28.000Because people realize how much it's changed the culture since medical marijuana became legal, but that's just the beginning, man.
01:42:34.000When it becomes legal legal, when it becomes a personal use issue, when you just have to be over 21, you just go to the fucking corner drugstore and they're selling weed, they're selling weed everywhere, it's going to change things, man.
01:42:45.000They're going to start selling weed at bars.
01:42:47.000They're going to have weed smoking sections at bars, for sure.
01:42:49.000They'll have a back patio where you can smoke weed.
01:44:27.000And Friday night, if you want to come, I'm hanging out with Adam Skorgy, the guy who produced The Union.
01:44:34.000And we're going to do another documentary together.
01:44:36.000And one of the things that we're going to do is dispel a lot of the myths about people being lazy and And, you know, marijuana smokers being lazy and how much propaganda has been distributed to people about marijuana making you lazy.
01:44:49.000And one of the things I want to do is feature your school and feature, you know, you teaching.
01:44:53.000And how many times have you done this?
01:44:55.000Where you teach class, you go, how many of you guys are high?
01:44:58.000And, like, 30 dudes raise their hands.
01:45:00.000I don't think I've taught a night class, not stoned.
01:45:05.000Day classes, too, I go on stoned, too.
01:45:07.000But I used to not get high for the day classes.
01:45:09.000But night class, I mean, my classes are at 830 at night.
01:45:13.000There's no way I'm gonna get to that class and not be stoned, you know?
01:45:17.000And, you know, there was one of the things that came up in the UFC Q&A. They asked me about weed and about whether or not I think weed is an enhancer, a physical enhancement.
01:45:26.000You know, whether or not I think that it's a performance enhancer.
01:45:30.000And this guy said that he thinks it is.
01:45:32.000And he was talking about him doing jujitsu.
01:47:57.000It depends on, first of all, how high you get.
01:47:59.000Because if you get too high, and you can get too high, everything spirals in front of you and it becomes like, it's like you have millions of dollars flying around you, but you're in the middle of a tornado and you can't grab any of it.
01:48:11.000You know, and sometimes you get to that super paranoid super high state and like that's not manageable and you have to wait until you come down from that super high to a more manageable place then you can become creative then you sit down and write and you can keep a thought going and You say that, like, maybe sometimes Pod's made you make shitty decisions, but that's just making you take chances.
01:48:33.000When you're sober, you know, and you go back and you look at it, you know, maybe you're just not seeing it in the way that you were seeing it then and it wasn't complete.
01:48:40.000You know, you didn't fight complete the vision.
01:48:43.000But look at how much cool shit you have created from Pod.
01:48:46.000You know, I mean, Pod has been responsible for a lot of your really good editing too, don't you think?
01:49:11.000Are you coming to the table in a good mood?
01:49:13.000You know, I could have some personal issues going on.
01:49:16.000I could have some things that are bothering me or some unfinished business that I need to get taken care of before my mind can be at peace.
01:49:21.000And then you get high and then you don't have a good reaction.
01:49:33.000Then it just feels like it all just tunes in.
01:49:36.000Then I feel like I'm wide open to the point where there's nothing that's bothering me, nothing that's tightening me up.
01:49:42.000So I'm wide open and loose and then the weed hits and it's just like it just washes you in this crazy energy.
01:49:48.000It just hits you with this blast of like perception and this new way of seeing things that, you know, It sometimes can fuck you up, but I think even when it fucks you up, there's lessons in that shit.
01:49:59.000There's lessons in why it fucked you up.
01:50:01.000There's lessons in where your head was at when you weren't in the right place.
01:50:11.000Using any entheogens, using marijuana, using mushrooms, there should be people that are professionals that can talk people through the use of these things.
01:50:20.000Like how you were talking last week about the Sharmans and...
01:52:17.000It's called the Nibiru Forum, the 10th Planet Forum.
01:52:21.000Oh, by the way, 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu, even the name 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu, is all from the Zachariah Sitchin stories.
01:52:27.000Yeah, the funny thing about 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu was I decided to, when I first decided to open the school, I needed a name for the school.
01:53:14.000You know, we're good friends, and so I don't necessarily talk about you too much just because, you know, I kind of take it for granted because we're good friends.
01:53:22.000But I've done the forward to two of your books.
01:53:26.000And we've been friends for shit like 10 years now, like strong.
01:53:29.000And the weirdest thing about this whole Jiu-Jitsu thing is watching it back Blossom out of just hanging out when you were a purple belt and just talking about different techniques to now this nutty fucking thing where you've got affiliates all over the world and other countries and shit.
01:53:48.000You're traveling all over the world doing seminars and teaching people all this shit.
01:54:06.000This is like some crazy alien hybrid system.
01:54:11.000The whole thing is in the world of martial arts.
01:54:15.000It's very unexpected to have someone who's got this sort of silly, goofy outlook on so many different things and has got a sense of humor about so many different things and smokes weed and is always playing pranks on people.
01:54:31.000People don't know where's the best place to see some of those because some of them are fucking hilarious.
01:54:36.000He's got jiu-jitsu students who pretend that they're angry Brazilians who come to fight Eddie and they come to challenge him like they're karate masters or You know, they're different things.
01:54:58.000Yeah, very talented, hilarious actor slash comedian.
01:55:01.000He was tech, tech on Days of Our Lives years ago, and he's so funny.
01:55:06.000And he trains with us at 10th Planet and they set it up all the time where he comes in and whenever there's a new person, they did it with Alan Belcher, they did it with Tim Lee, did it with a bunch of different people.
01:55:16.000Whenever someone's there that doesn't know the gag, We got Tom Lawler with it.
01:55:27.000Now, they get to the point where they do it so ridiculous where Eddie chokes these guys out and pretends to kill them, and then his students drag the guy off into the backyard.
01:56:45.000Like on a regular basis, doing fighting pranks.
01:56:48.000Most of those pranks are on my DVD, Mastering the Rubber Guard, a bunch of them.
01:56:52.000And the original one, the original prank that I got on video was in 2000, 10 years ago, as Quatouf, when I put some black makeup on and I was a black guy, I was scaring my friends.
01:57:03.000That's on my Mastering the Rubber Guard DVD. That was the original one.
01:57:49.000If you saw me when I first started off, if I had some video, I got some somewhere, some VHS tape of me on stage, like the 10th time I was ever on stage or something like that.
01:59:06.000I don't have to be funny, so it's easy.
01:59:08.000Well, coming from someone who's done it, and this is why I told you in the beginning that you could do it, it's just a matter of effort and concentration.
01:59:19.000Nowadays with YouTube, Eddie can make a video that's probably a million times funnier than him having to go on stage for three years just to get a joke out, you know?
01:59:27.000Right, but it won't be stand-up comedy.
01:59:28.000The difference is, stand-up comedy, you can actually have a bunch of people come to see you in a place and you can make a living off it.
01:59:34.000Yeah, but he can make a living off these videos if he wanted to do the same shit.
01:59:55.000Or are you saying from people coming to see you live?
01:59:57.000I'm saying back in the day, it used to be you had to get on stage and become a stand-up comic and really work to get 30 people in a room.
02:00:06.000Where nowadays, you could take these same bits and jokes, make it into a YouTube video...
02:00:10.000Get a billion people, and if you keep on doing that, then you could have a whole career based off either advertising, or you could have like a show on Crackle.
02:00:18.000I mean, there's a lot of websites like Crackle that have sitcoms or TV shows, web-based series that are all based off people that did it, and they got picked up on TV shows.
02:00:26.000Okay, I understand what you're saying.
02:00:27.000However, what you're saying diminishes the idea of the art of stand-up comedy, and that's why it's silly.
02:00:31.000I'm telling him that he could be an artist, a stand-up comedian.
02:00:34.000He can go places and perform and do stand-up comedy.
02:00:37.000What you're saying is he can instead do videos...
02:00:40.000Well, I think a lot of stand-up people that want to be stand-up comics are now changing how they're getting their audience, you know?
02:00:48.000Well, I definitely think people who want to be comedians are getting a lot of audience.
02:00:51.000I mean, that Bob Burnham kid, he got a huge following from his YouTube videos.
02:00:55.000And you could definitely, you know, get people attracted to stuff that you put online and then they want to come see you live.
02:01:00.000But what I was saying to Eddie was that he could be an artist, a stand-up comedian as an artist.
02:01:27.000Like, stand-up comedy seems kind of diluted nowadays because I think if you're a funny guy looking for an audience, back in the day, stand-up comedy was like one of the only few options you could do because you couldn't get a TV show.
02:01:35.000So now these people are like, hey, I'm a funny guy.
02:01:38.000I think a lot of these I think stand-up comedy is probably getting more and more diluted as more time goes on wouldn't you think?
02:01:45.000No I disagree because I think the art of stand-up comedy to me as a patron as a person who goes to see it is still the most fun thing to see I went to see Louis C.K. the other day with Ari and I fucking loved it I had a great time I sat in the audience the other day when Aziz Anasari was working out his shit for the MTV Music Awards I was on that show and I enjoyed it I still enjoy the art of stand-up comedy in a crowd With a bunch of people there, it's funnier.
02:02:10.000It's like the comedy club atmosphere I like.
02:02:26.000Haven't you said that there's barely any real stand-up comics nowadays?
02:02:31.000How there used to be a bunch of real stand-up comics, and nowadays that number seems to be a lot smaller.
02:02:36.000Well, it's just because there's less places to work.
02:02:38.000I mean, in Boston, where I used to be, man, there were so many different comedy clubs in Boston and so many open mic nights that there was a real community developed around it.
02:02:46.000But then as the economy tightened up and as a lot of these comics that were in that area moved out and the guys that had been there for a long time really didn't write any new material, the scene died out.
02:02:56.000But if there was more comedy clubs and it was a thriving community, there'd be more comedians.
02:03:01.000The real problem is they don't have enough places to perform.
02:03:08.000But I think right now is a very good wave for established guys.
02:03:12.000If you look at all the guys that are around, like Louis C.K. and Chappelle, of course, Chris Rock, Dave Attell, Nick DiPaolo, Jim Norton, Patton Oswalt, of course.
02:03:38.000I think this is one of the best times ever for stand-up comedy.
02:03:42.000I think what's happened with the YouTube and the internet and MySpace and all this shit is that people have had a chance to extend their careers and make their careers penetrate further in than they would have ordinarily, not having any television shows, not having any movie credits.
02:03:57.000Now people are getting big audiences just from stand-up comedy.
02:04:21.000There's so much fun in doing stand-up comedy.
02:04:24.000That's just like a couple people compared to the thousands and thousands of people that are in it for stand-up comedy to become Well, we're talking about the best guys.
02:04:48.000If the bad writing was there when I got there, there's nothing I can do about it.
02:04:52.000If I do a movie and the movie doesn't do well, but the next movie does fine, then I'm okay.
02:04:55.000And so it becomes less responsibility on their back and a little bit easier.
02:04:59.000And they look at it as a steady income as opposed to like something where stand-up comedy.
02:05:03.000It's like, you know, no one's really going to be sure that people are going to come see you next week.
02:05:07.000You know, you could only assume that you're going to continue to have an audience.
02:05:10.000And you have to continue to produce and continue to do, you know, new sets on television, new Comedy Central specials, continue to write new material after that gets released so that people can come see you a year later and they know you got all new shit.
02:05:22.000So there's a lot of pressure and a lot of people don't like that.
02:05:49.000What I'm saying is do a 10th Planet show.
02:05:51.000Joey goes up and hosts, brings Ari up, brings one of you guys up for five or ten minutes, whatever you're comfortable with, brings the other guy up, and then I'll go up.
02:06:47.000You don't have to have it in you, but just because you don't have it in you doesn't mean that the art form isn't something that people should pursue if they want to be a comedian.
02:06:54.000What you're saying, though, is that, I mean, as a comedian, I mean, I know you're not trying to offend me, but as a comedian, it's kind of offensive because you're saying that, like, somehow or another that someone, if they wanted to, should just go and do YouTube clips now and not become a stand-up comedian because it's too difficult.
02:07:09.000No, I'm saying that if you are a stand-up comic, nowadays it seems like YouTube would make a lot more sense.
02:07:15.000It's like Baba Booey and Howard Stern.
02:07:38.000You just have people staring at you and texting things.
02:07:40.000You don't get the same kind of direct, immediate, tangible response that you get when you're going on stage, where you know what various aspects of a joke are funny, how the transitions work.
02:07:49.000You hear yourself in the recordings and you know this part sounded false or this part had too many words.
02:07:55.000And it's an art form just piecing it all together and performing it in front of a live crowd.
02:07:58.000But when you nail it, dude, When you're on stage and you fucking nail a joke where the audience is dying, and you're like, they're dying now, and I got like five more levels to this joke.
02:08:10.000This joke, like, I'm hitting them now, and I'm like, I got some shit coming up after this I can't wait to get to.
02:08:15.000Because I know if you think this is funny, this next part is my favorite part, and then boom, boom, boom, and it piles on.
02:08:21.000There's nothing like that that you're ever going to get off YouTube.
02:08:41.000It's, to me, the most fun art form, and that's why I'm a comedian.
02:08:44.000What I was trying to say is that Eddie could have done that, too.
02:08:47.000The only difference between me and him is that he had other things he was focusing on, and he went and pursued those.
02:08:53.000But if he didn't, if he wasn't thinking about pursuing a career in jiu-jitsu, and wasn't thinking about pursuing a career in music, and had the kind of time that I had, When I started out doing comedy, for sure you would be just as successful as me.
02:09:04.000For sure you'd be able to do everything that I'm doing.
02:09:21.000If you don't have the sense of humor, if you don't have the mind for comedy, the type of person who looks at things and goes, everybody else is agreeing, and you go, wait a minute, what the fuck is that?
02:09:29.000That's how I was my whole life, and that's how you are.
02:09:31.000And Brian, you are to a certain extent, too.
02:09:33.000I mean, you have a different sense of humor than I do, and Eddie has a different sense of humor than you, and we're all different.
02:09:48.000Everybody just thinks that because this, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
02:09:50.000You'll go against the grain right away and pick out the flaws.
02:09:53.000That's the idea, that's the mind of a stand-up comic.
02:09:55.000The person who stands up, the person whose function in society is to stand up and look at things, besides being funny, stand up and look at things and goes, what the fuck is this?
02:10:12.000There's guys that work in gas stations that could be one of the funniest guys that have ever walked the face of the earth.
02:10:18.000Just no one ever talked them into getting on stage.
02:10:20.000They never directed their life in that order.
02:10:22.000They never had the discipline to follow through.
02:10:23.000You know, there's so many people like that that I met out there.
02:10:26.000My friend Johnny B, my friend who was a pool player that died, that guy could have been one of the funniest fucking comedians that ever lived.
02:10:32.000That dude could read human nature, knew when people were full of shit, knew what people's insecurities and weaknesses were, and always knew the funniest shit to say at any given moment.
02:10:42.000There's a lot of people like that out there, and that's what a stand-up comic is.
02:10:58.000If you are a pussy and you want to live your life just pretending you don't masturbate or pretending that it's something shameful about getting pleasure on your dick, then don't order the Fleshlight.
02:11:07.000But everybody else, go order one of those things and fuck the shit out of it.
02:11:17.000If you're in Hollywood and you want to get some jujitsu instruction plus some weed shamanism, there's no better place to go than Legends in Hollywood.