In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, I sit down with comedian and friend of mine, Patrice O'Donnell. Patrice is a standup comic, writer, podcaster, and podcaster living in Austin, Texas. We talk about how he got his start in comedy, what it's like to be a comedian in the big city, and how he's been able to do it all.
00:00:31.000You know, it was so funny because it got me thinking.
00:00:33.000So I started watching Patrice's Opie and Anthony appearances because there's a list of them on Spotify.
00:00:39.000And what was so funny to me was like, you know how they have these like, these group of like mentally disabled people that they kind of fuck with.
00:01:44.000One of the things is really, that's really exciting about the mothership is for someone like me who's been doing comedy for so long, it's really exciting to watch people's careers launch.
00:01:55.000You know, like see guys like Cam Patterson go from getting a spot on Kill Tony to being a regular on Kill Tony to being on fucking Saturday Night Live.
00:03:24.000You know, it's kind of along those lines.
00:03:27.000And, you know, if you could find some connections to other negative things, you know, like me and Tony, we have this connection to Trump and so does Shane.
00:03:35.000And, you know, there's all sorts of that.
00:03:37.000Oh, fucking, you got to be a right-winger to be.
00:04:16.000A lot of people, most of the people who work there are mostly left-wing.
00:04:18.000Yeah, it's a place where it's a place where, but because right-wing people, I guess, are allowed to be here or like also allowed to be here.
00:04:24.000It's all of a sudden this right-wing Nazi haven.
00:04:28.000Well, it's also like, what does that even mean?
00:04:52.000I mean, it's so, there's so much of it, man.
00:04:55.000But then it's also like, yeah, what ICE is doing, like, fucking shooting that lady seems kind of crazy.
00:05:00.000You know, like grabbing people that happen to be American citizens and fucking dragging them out onto the snow and asking them for their papers.
00:05:06.000That seems kind of fucking crazy, too.
00:05:18.000So we tried, we used our sponsor Perplexity the other day and tried to figure out through AI what the exact number is.
00:05:27.000But when you deep dive, you realize they don't know the number.
00:05:30.000They really have like an estimate of interactions with illegal immigrants.
00:05:34.000And it's somewhere around 11 million for four years, which is fucking wild.
00:05:41.000That's 10 Austins at least of illegal immigrants were allowed to get in this country, aided to get in this country, and then moved to states.
00:06:33.000Your job is to go out and find these people.
00:06:36.000And one of the things you don't get about this, it's like, because there was like a recent clip of mine that got like highlighted where I was criticizing ICE.
00:06:44.000One of the things that you don't think about when you're into this is just like regular police interactions.
00:06:52.000The ones that you see online are the horrible ones.
00:07:26.000There's people that are thankful that they called the police and they stopped the burglar who is breaking into their fucking mom's house or whatever it is.
00:07:33.000There's so many more of those, but you're not seeing those videos.
00:07:36.000And so with the ICE thing, what you're only seeing and you're only hearing about American citizens that have been arrested, the lady that got shot, you're hearing about all these negative annotations.
00:07:46.000What you're not hearing about is the number of violent criminals that they've caught.
00:07:55.000It's not like thousands of American citizens have been shipped out to other countries.
00:08:00.000No, it's like net positive if you look at it that way.
00:08:06.000Like, see if you can find out how many, because I know there's probably going to be a bunch of various sources that are not totally accurate.
00:08:13.000But find out, like, what are the number of violent criminals they've caught since they started doing this?
00:08:20.000Well, also, also, there is a question on this is how I, because I know this is how they recruit some ICE agents.
00:08:27.000It's just like their ads on local TV just offering like in the UFC, there's an ICE ad.
00:08:34.000Yeah, and it's like, these aren't just like also regular people.
00:08:37.000How much training are they really getting?
00:08:39.000Because when you watch the shooting video, you're like, why is the guy shooting also recording with his phone?
00:09:22.000There's a full possibility that you may die.
00:09:25.000There's no single public record number of violent criminals captured by ICE raids just over the last few months.
00:09:29.000And available data suggests those cases are relatively small share of recent ICE arrests and detentions.
00:09:35.000One analysis, ICE internal data, said that only 5% to 8% of the people booked to ICE detention late 2025 and early fiscal year 2026 had violent or serious property crime convictions.
00:09:45.000But even if it's 8%, they've gotten rid of a half a million people already.
00:09:50.000And then 1.6 million voluntarily deported.
00:09:54.000So in a half a million people, 8% is a lot.
00:10:25.000Because you do want the violent criminals out, but then I don't want the non-violent criminals to be sent or not or non-violent people who are here to be sent to a prison.
00:10:36.000It says ICE no longer voluntarily publishes detailed case-level arrest breakdowns by offense type and independent projects.
00:11:02.000I mean, there's a lot of optics is the optics with ICE has been terrible.
00:11:07.000It says recent enforcement has involved thousands of arrests nationwide, but available analysis consistently indicate that only a small minority of those.
00:11:25.000It's just that's perplexity showing its bias.
00:11:29.000Small minority of those, that's a tone of those in ICE detention arrested by ICE in late 2025 and early 2026 have violent criminal convictions.
00:11:51.000If you could sign a piece of paper that said that, you know, we're going to allow a bunch of people into this country, most of them have no violent convictions, but about 8% of them are monsters, evil, sociopathic murderers, drug dealers.
00:12:57.000So if you live in a community that's half illegal aliens, you get way more congressional seats from that district than if you are in a community where all those people don't count.
00:13:08.000They said that, I think they said that California, if the census did, see if we can find out what the number is.
00:13:14.000But if the census did not count illegal immigrants in California, I think they would lose a shocking number of seats.
00:13:53.000If it was successful, they could overwhelm the political process.
00:13:56.000They could make it just like it's California forever, where you get half the people are like massively disgruntled and so confused about the politics, but they're stuck there.
00:14:14.000And England starts arresting people for social media posts.
00:14:17.000Well, you know, hopefully that the free speech stuff is so ingrained in who we are as a people.
00:14:24.000Because England, like at the end of the day, it's not like that country was built on that principle.
00:14:29.000This says that they would only lose two house seats.
00:14:33.000It says California would lose, I called it Canada, Freudian, would lose an order of one to two House seats if people in the state without legal status were not counted in the census used for appointment based on recent expert simulations.
00:16:30.000I think I told you that's part of the reason why I think minority groups are shifting away because it's like, one, I don't think that's something the whole victimhood mentality, that's not something that minority groups really experience or like value.
00:16:43.000Especially not minority groups that are immigrants that are in the middle of the hustle.
00:18:03.000I don't know who lip fillers are for because I don't know any guy who's like, yeah, I like that look like that much, but it's crazy how they age.
00:18:11.000The facial fillers are crazy too because sometimes those things become a problem and then you got to get them removed.
00:18:17.000Well, now they're doing that buckle fat thing where they look like ghouls at the time.
00:18:32.000Because their face is going to be all sunken in.
00:18:34.000By the time they're 60, I think medicine is going to be at a level where they're going to be able to reverse aging.
00:18:40.000They're pretty close to being able to do that.
00:18:42.000They've already done some stuff with mice and they've done some stuff where they're understanding what genes are causing you to have these problems, what things could be done to mitigate it.
00:18:54.000And they're treating aging not like an inevitable aspect of life, but as like a disease that you get over time.
00:20:28.000I wonder if it was his wife or a lady he knew died.
00:20:32.000I forget the circumstances, but he kept the corpse in his house and had fashioned some kind of an artificial vagina that he attached to the corpse and then had cases of perfume.
00:20:48.000And so apparently the body, he just kept fucking it.
00:20:51.000Is this like an older guy, an older story?
00:20:53.000Yeah, it's like some Cuban doctor, and it was like some girl he fell in love with and then she died.
00:22:01.000Secretly took her body or used French plaster to preserve her skin, rigged wires and hangers to support her skeleton, and then pumped a continuous stream of perfume to mass the stench of the scent of decay.
00:22:15.000Disturbing arrangement continued for seven years until it's finally discovered by her sister.
00:22:25.000You find your sister's body, and it's just there's a continual stream of perfume to keep people from knowing there's a rotted body up there.
00:25:18.000So the federal judge Wednesday ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to appoint an outside expert to ensure the Justice Department complies with a law that makes all files pertaining to the prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein available for public view.
00:25:52.000Yeah, I don't understand all this, so I'm going to be charitable about it.
00:25:56.000I'm going to be charitable about it, but I just don't understand how anybody can go to jail for sex trafficking when you don't have anybody they sex traffic to.
00:26:31.000How do you have, I mean, in any way, shape, or form, how do you have a person convicted of a crime when there's like especially that kind of a crime where there's a person that hires you or gives you money or that you use to get influence from and then you sex traffic to them.
00:26:49.000So there's another person involved and that other person is completely eliminated from the trial because what?
00:27:20.000Imagine if you were selling hash and you had like pounds and pounds of hash at your house and you've been selling hash and you got caught selling hash.
00:27:33.000They charge you with distribution and you're like, okay, but distributed to who?
00:27:38.000Because you're only selling to like rich, famous people.
00:27:40.000You're only selling them to like heads of JP Morgan.
00:27:43.000You're selling all your hash to those guys.
00:27:45.000And they're like, well, who did he sell the hash to?
00:28:10.000But like in this situation, it's like, did we ever really think anyone was really going to go to jail for this?
00:28:15.000I feel like with continual, constant pressure, it has to slowly leak out.
00:28:22.000Man, I wish I was that optimistic about it.
00:28:28.000They've done a good job of keeping the names out of the press, even after they said they would leak them.
00:28:33.000It says here, FBI and DOJ records from 2019 reference about 10 individuals described as an alleged Epstein co-conspirators, including Maxwell and French modeling agent Jean-Luc Brunel, who died in French custody in 2022.
00:29:28.000We Mark that Mark Epstein guy, his just brother, came out of nowhere for like a little bit, for a little bit yeah, first of all, what do you mean?
00:29:37.000A brother that just knows everything that happened, because he came out and said that wasn't like the the, the email.
00:29:43.000That was like, oh Clinton Trump, sun suck Clinton's dick.
00:29:46.000Yeah, he was like no, Bubba wasn't Clinton, but you didn't say he didn't suck someone's dick, it wasn't Clinton.
00:29:53.000Trump sucks some guy named Bubba's dick, some truck driver.
00:30:26.000He knew exactly what was going on in the island the whole time and it's just out and about, but he's still saying that Trump sucks someone's dick.
00:30:31.000That's yeah, and then he just straight up disappeared.
00:30:43.000I do not believe Trump sucks somebody's dick because he doesn't do drugs.
00:30:46.000You know what I mean when Charlie Sheen was saying he sucks some guy's dick like okay, Charlie was doing so much crack he was, He was out of his fucking mind.
00:30:53.000I feel like that level of power is a drug at that point.
00:34:04.000Senate candidate Roy Moore spent his 30s dating, propositioning, and sexually assaulting high school-aged girls was shocking, but not without precedent.
00:34:13.000There have been plenty of congressmen who carried on sexual relationships with teenagers from Thomas Jefferson.
00:34:18.000That was back when people died when they were 18.
00:34:20.000Strom Thurman, perhaps more dastardly Illinois rep Dennis Haster served as Speaker of the House from 99 to 2007.
00:34:28.000And a little further down, an additional single agreed that Hastert sodomized a fourth-grade boy in a high school, in a school bathroom, and threatened him if he reported assault.
00:34:38.000Since the statute of limitation had expired on these crimes, Haster was instead convicted of evading bank reporting requirements in order to secretly pay off his victims.
00:36:02.000But, you know, it was so funny because thinking back on it, like, if you look throughout movies, my genuine take before he got busted for this is he plays the greatest villains.
00:37:22.000You know, but he's probably, you know, for all these guys that he grabbed dicks and said, oh, you know, probably drunk, probably fucked up.
00:37:29.000How many guys like let him suck their dick?
00:38:01.000But it's, you know, it's not excusing him for doing it.
00:38:05.000The thing about people in the gay community is they look very differently at teenage boy, gay teenage boy men relationships than we do at like teenage girl men relationships.
00:38:37.000That's a, I remember someone was, I was living in LA, and we had this gay dude who was sleeping on the, you know, we had a bed in the living room for guests to say over.
00:39:03.000But it's like a about a gay story between an older man and a younger boy.
00:39:08.000And yeah, he he would say he said this red like, he was watching it like, oh, this reads like a fan fiction of an older gay dude being in love with like a younger gay guy.
00:41:01.000Do you remember that one time when Brody got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy and was like yelling at people in the audience sometimes?
00:42:16.000And then, like, he just gets everybody fired up.
00:42:19.000He immediately breaks out the drumsticks, starts fucking drumming on the seat, and then starts telling jokes and just changed the whole tempo of the room.
00:44:08.000But it's the cold opening for as long as I have done and my career, even pre this club, it's just, it made me, I feel like so much stronger.
00:44:18.000Because like almost like running with ankle weights on.
00:44:20.000And then now, like, leading up to me releasing the Too Soon, I was like, oh, I was like, all these spots I was getting at the end of the shows.
00:44:29.000This is all material that I tested at the beginning of Rogan and Friends, which, especially at the beginning of the club, a lot of people were like, wait, you're not Rogan talking to a friend.
00:44:40.000Like, they thought they were coming to a live podcast, but, you know, it took a while before the shows were like, oh, yeah, this is a stand-up show.
00:45:42.000Yeah, when I first started doing, when I lived in, first was a door guy in Hollywood, Derek was booking the Madhouse, and I would come down and host the weekend shows.
00:45:50.000So every day I'd host from every weekend or two weekends a month, I would host from 5 to 2 in the morning because you'd host the open mic afterwards.
00:46:48.000I was telling someone in LA, it's like, oh, if I chose not to get up 10 spots in front of an audience member in a week at the very least, then I chose that because it's so easy to just go out and get spots.
00:46:59.000There's so much people and like around in downtown alone, there's like 12 dedicated comedy rooms.
00:48:04.000Thank you, Cap City Comedy, and Helium Management for listening to Austin and canceling the racist provocateur Michael Rappaport show at your establishment.
00:48:14.000Hey, Michael Rappaport, there's a make sure.
00:49:05.000That sounds more supportive of him coming here and saying most of us are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel silence performance.
00:50:42.000With anti-Palestinian hate monger Rapaport being hosted, management seems unwilling to listen to their community.
00:50:48.000That's not necessarily their community.
00:50:50.000That's just some people in the community.
00:50:53.000Rappaport isn't just a fanatical Zionist with political views we disagree with.
00:50:58.000He's a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children.
00:51:02.000He mocks immigrants and supports ICE detentions of people whose viewpoints he dislikes.
00:51:07.000Additionally, he has a reputation for being generally disliked by people he's worked with, doxing his political opponents and has been accused of working with Fox News to spread fake propaganda.
00:52:24.000Like, the internet makes people very comfortable with putting their initial emotional reaction out for everyone to see.
00:52:30.000And it's like, Derek talks about, it's like, we got to go back to the times when people were like, oh, you can't post yourself with a red cup because a job might see that and you won't get the job.
00:53:14.000And you're talking about a guy who got murdered and you just wrote rest and piss on the internet because in their bubble, they were saying that kind of stuff.
00:53:21.000And they thought it was a cool thing to say.
00:53:23.000Yeah, your algorithm is so designed to just show you what things that agree with you.
00:55:35.000Right now, the reactions of people in the background don't match.
00:55:38.000That's what's because it used to be you could see the fingers and the fingers would be all fucked up, but they got the fingers pretty down now.
00:58:40.000So companies have DEI scores for favorable loans and for government money.
00:58:46.000It gets real weird when you start intertwining the it gets real communisty.
00:58:52.000ESG score evaluates a company's sustainability and ethical impact, measuring its performance in environmental, social, and governance areas, such as carbon footprint, labor practices, and board diversity to help investors and stakeholders access long-term risk and potential.
00:59:09.000Excuse me, assess long-term risk and potential.
00:59:12.000Calculated by specialized agencies like MSCI and Sustainalytics.
00:59:19.000Scores offer them from zero to 100 or letter grades gauge how well a company manages risks in these non-financial areas, influencing reputation, access to capital.
01:00:25.000With Trump in office, there was a guy who was a CEO of some company that was talking about the gigantic shift in dealing with the government that had occurred right after Trump took office.
01:00:43.000So it's really difficult to do anything, which is one of the reasons why so few people have even begun attempting rebuild their fucking house.
01:00:50.000There's regulations everywhere for everything.
01:01:38.000But look, man, there's so much money missing.
01:01:42.000They spent $24 billion on the homeless, and they can't account for it.
01:01:49.000Is it true that Gavin Newsom – let's find out this because I saw this whole article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed a bill that would do an audit of where the $24 billion to the homeless went.
01:02:01.000Well, if their goal was to create more homeless with that money, they did a great job.
01:02:52.000He blocked bills for an audit multiple times.
01:02:56.000Bipartisan bill AB 2903 unanimously passed 72 to 0 in the Assembly, 40 to 0 in the Senate, and would have forced annual public reports on where the money went.
01:03:12.000Because it's like if the president vetoes at a federal level, I'm pretty sure if the, I think it goes back, if it goes back to the Senate or the House, they can do a two-thirds vote to pass it anyway.
01:05:20.000But we got to talking about the different people that lived in America before Columbus got here, before Cortez got here, before all these Spanish explorers turned the entire country into a Spanish-speaking Catholic country, which is really nuts, man.
01:05:39.000You know, you want to talk about colonizing.
01:05:41.000Like, those people in Mexico, oh, we respect their religion, their culture.
01:05:46.000That's the culture of their oppressors from just a few hundred years ago.
01:05:51.000They lost 100 different native languages, man.
01:05:54.000They had so many languages in what is now Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until 1820.
01:06:01.000Like, whatever it was, whatever they called it in the different areas, they had like over 100 different languages just lost in the wind because the fucking conquistadors came through.
01:06:11.000Yeah, and outnumbered, they were able to do that.
01:06:40.000And there's like a famous, what was it, La Malinche? was like a female Native American or native to that area who like helped them take them down.
01:06:48.000Oh, there's quite a few people that helped him.
01:06:50.000They were very clever what they did because there wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs were absolutely brutal.
01:06:57.000One of the Spanish chroniclers, some I forget his name, something Diaz, but one of these Spanish chroniclers before the arrival of Cortez, he was there at the celebration of the completion of one of the temples.
01:08:08.000I did a whole bunch of research on these people because I just got fascinated because one of the things about the Aztecs is a lot of these super complex temples, they didn't build them.
01:10:11.000Like, we're not carving anything in the rocks now.
01:10:14.000So if, yeah, so if something, let's say something happens to the internet tomorrow and it disappears and then our civilization just vanishes off the earth, a couple people survive and they build a whole new civilization.
01:10:26.000There's all those lines, is that writing or is that erosion?
01:12:04.000But so the overall point being, though, is like in our time, if the internet disappears and we're gone, there's nothing from this time that's really being recorded.
01:12:20.000Yeah, but our time, the Americans, there'll just be some ancient thing that people might not know ever existed.
01:12:25.000It says about the, it's called the wrongorongo, wrongorongo, a glyph-based script from Easter Island remains undeciphered despite over a century of study.
01:12:38.000Imagine you're studying it for a century.
01:12:39.000Yeah, because people's whole lives have been dedicated to this.
01:12:42.000No one knows exactly what it says, as all attempts to translate it fully have failed, with scholars debating if it's true writing or proto-writing used as a memory aid.
01:13:37.000Published November 26, 2025 in Cryptologia by science journalist Michael Greshko introduced the Nabi Cipher, which uses 14th century Italian playing cards and dice to encode Latin or Italian text into glyphs mimicking the Voignitz manuscripts Voyniches.
01:13:56.000This cipher replicates key statistical features like glyph frequencies, word lengths, grammar rules suggesting a similar medieval method could have generated the original 15th century text, although it does not decode it.
01:14:59.000The second time you die is when someone says your name last, so we're just keeping him alive.
01:15:02.000He acquired it from the Jesuit college in Frascati, Italy, as a part of a batch of 30 manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the Jesuits' financial difficulties.
01:15:15.000How many of these motherfuckers in the Vatican are sitting on some shit that they don't have to sell?
01:17:16.000It's an interesting one because people say it's a hoax, but the thing about it is if it's a hoax, it's like really well done and very complex and like an incredible amount of time.
01:17:26.000The fact that it's still tripping up people now, it's like it's an all-time great hoax then.
01:17:31.000Sort of, but think about how many languages we've lost.
01:17:34.000Like we just talked about 100 languages were lost somewhere around that in what is now considered Mexico.
01:17:40.000Now, you know, think about the rest of the world.
01:18:11.000And we don't know how many languages there are.
01:18:13.000Like my friend Adam Greentry, who used to own a mining company in Australia, and he employed a lot of Aborigines, and he knows a lot about the culture.
01:18:21.000And he was like, dude, it's the craziest history because a lot of it is not written down, and there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide attached to it.
01:18:32.000There's a cave that you can go to where they gave this mob of Aborigines poisoned food on purpose, like a whole crew of them.
01:18:39.000And so there's like just their bones are in this cave still to this day.
01:18:43.000He goes, dude, it's the darkest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life.
01:18:46.000You think about this family and their children, they're starving.
01:18:48.000And these people, these white people in Australia, were essentially prisoners that England shipped over there.
01:21:08.000Well, here's the thing: the Congo has had a legend of some sort of a large dinosaur-like creature forever, to the point where explorers have made their way into the Congo to try to find this thing.
01:21:22.000That resembles, I think it resembles a bronosaurus that could fly?
01:21:30.000So the question is: is it possible that a creature could live for an extended period of time and then, you know, maybe in the 1100s or 1,000 years ago or whatever, 2,000 years ago, they slaughtered them all and killed them off.
01:21:44.000Like, maybe it, maybe they have a long gestation period, like an elephant.
01:23:12.000Well, now that they know they exist, they're looking for them.
01:23:14.000And then they're fishing to that area and they caught them.
01:23:16.000But can you show me an image of the coelacanth?
01:23:20.000Oh, I think there's a there's a YouTube channel that I think you'd really like called like I think it's called like it's a it just goes and looks through what the earth looked like in every like in different eras.
01:23:51.000So they're not our direct ancestors, but they're still relatives of beings that first left the seas.
01:23:57.000They left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals.
01:24:02.000Damn, and this is like, this is like a common link.
01:24:04.000So what they're saying is there's creatures that left, so something like that left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals from which we sprung.
01:24:16.000And these relatives are still alive today.
01:24:18.000So how long has the coelacanth been around?
01:24:59.000Should we know the local population occasionally caught these creatures and even come up with a name for them, Gombesa, which can be translated as bitter fish.
01:26:44.000Not just that, it's also more protective of environmental change, right?
01:26:48.000So it's probably less dependent on all the, like, especially if you're a sea predator, you're probably less dependent on, you know, all the plants growing and nuclear winter that's happening on the fucking surface.
01:31:46.000You'd be like, that's a monster that I saw.
01:31:47.000Like, look at the size of that thing, man.
01:31:49.000Like, if nobody went to Tanzania ever, if it was just a place that no one went to, and then people went there and they saw that, they're like, oh my God, dinosaurs are still alive.
01:32:45.000So this is a YouTube video that I watch.
01:32:48.000Every time something like sort of big happens to me or like I'm a crossroads and it's have you ever seen it's Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech.
01:33:12.000For giving generation upon generation of children confidence in themselves,
01:33:33.000for being their friend, for telling them again and again and again that they are special and that they have worth.
01:33:44.000It is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on behalf of the millions of children whose mornings you have brightened with your kindness to present you with this lifetime achievement award.
01:34:10.000Oh, it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood.
01:34:16.000So many people have helped me to come to this night.
01:34:20.000Some of you are here, some are far away, some are even in heaven.
01:34:28.000All of us have special ones who have loved us into being.
01:34:33.000Would you just take along with me 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are?
01:34:45.000Those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life.
01:35:10.000Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they've made.
01:35:19.000You know, they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world.
01:35:25.000Special thanks to my family and friends and to my co-workers in public broadcasting, family communications, and this academy for encouraging me, allowing me all these years to be your neighbor.
01:36:35.000Like the way this, I would say the scene is like incredibly, incredibly supportive of each other in a way that like it's nice, I guess, in this sort of new system that we live in too, where like you can just make it on your own.
01:36:47.000You don't need, like, I'm not auditioning for a spot that like Fuzzy's auditioning for because we're both brown.
01:37:07.000And like, that's, it's, like, such a refreshing experience to have.
01:37:11.000It really is the rising tide lifts all boats, and that's how it should be.
01:37:15.000And it happens everywhere, too, because, like, you know, obviously you're at the mothership and you see how hard the door guys there crushed.
01:37:20.000But like, I'll go to Sunset and Sunset has some fucking killers as door guys now.
01:37:26.000Especially because like they came up in this experience where Sunset, you know, famously the ceilings are high and like the room can be cavernous, can feel cavernous when it's like tight.
01:37:36.000And so they come up in a harsher, like the mothership, the rooms are set up for comedy.
01:39:35.000And by the time she was off stage, there were 50 people in the room because people were coming in from other places to come and watch her set.
01:39:40.000Yeah, when you hear that noise, you're like, okay, what's going on here?
01:39:46.000Yeah, it's like those spots are nice because it's like, you know, your jokes, and you have to work your jokes to get to a certain point where, like, my jokes are funny enough to showcase and work at the club.
01:39:55.000And now that I'm at this level, I got the jokes.
01:40:12.000And that's what, you know, the store at the end of the day, even through hard and like good times and tough times at the store, that's the reason why they always create monsters.
01:40:53.000And then you, and then, and then you have to follow like the emerging stars too, because then they have a whole separate energy to them.
01:41:00.000Like I remember following both Cam and James McCain after they both started like popping and being like, whoa, just watching the energy around them shift.
01:42:31.000A lot of them are like, they tend to be like these sort of just out of college kids who can't really afford to go to like any of the clubs.
01:42:38.000They just have money for the first time.
01:42:39.000We're like, oh, we can go to this little spot, like $10 tickets, just get introduced to comedy.
01:42:45.000It's a bit of a younger audience there.
01:42:47.000Well, there's just, how many spots are just on our street?
01:46:04.000This was just, but it was indoor shows, man.
01:46:07.000And so I moved here and then I was like, because the way I looked at it was like, look, either I'm going to like LA's going to reopen and I'll be working at the comedy store again.
01:46:16.000And I'll have at least gotten up in that time and gotten paid to go up because they paid for every spot here.
01:47:06.000There's so many people who have moved.
01:47:07.000It's like, I almost tell people it's a major city in that way in the sense of like, if you can get good where you are first and then move to Austin, that might be better now than a blind move to Austin.
01:47:50.000It's like the people that really are responsible for the movement, the crazy new scene here, are the ones who came before the club was open.
01:48:43.000It's like, we both clearly can exist in a space where we also help each other.
01:48:49.000The New York guys are always here, and I feel like we're always there.
01:48:52.000But the point is, Tony and Lewis were going back and forth, and Lewis said, well, LA isn't even in consideration anymore as what's the best place for comedy in the country.
01:50:10.000But when you go during the day, because I'd get there early and like write or whatever, and you can look where the bucket seats are, the outline of all the heads because of all the oil of the people leaning back was just there.
01:50:22.000So you were just there, and it's just the energy of all these great comics just in the room with you.
01:50:28.000Yeah, it was an interesting place to like be during the day because you could sort of feel it.
01:52:19.000A bunch of cruise ship acts, like a bunch of guys who had the same act from the 1970s.
01:52:23.000They had never, you know, those dudes that like, you'll see them at the store occasionally now that have an act from the 80s.
01:52:28.000Well, these dudes, it was like a decade earlier.
01:52:30.000Yeah, when I worked at La Jolla, there was one guy that they booked that they had like some deal with Mitzi that he got to perform once a year at the La Jolla.
01:52:37.000And man, you could just tell, man, it's been you haven't changed this act since the 70s.
01:57:09.000That'll help, but it should be something that's a little bit that you exert yourself.
01:57:13.000Well, that's like, I was like, that's a good place to start if you're one of these people that like don't do like just a simple walk can really get the ball rolling.
01:57:48.000I'm on this, and I'm consuming a fake reality that, like, I think one of the most dangerous things that the phone, like the online existence does is it calls like people like call their fans and stuff a community, and it's not really a community.
01:58:03.000Your community has to be people you see in person.
01:58:05.000It can't be this online, possibly fake fan club, basically.
01:58:12.000Well, it certainly can't be a large percentage of your interactions with people.
01:58:26.000And then how much are you doom scrolling other than interacting with people and having like semi-positive experiences, communicating, like sharing ideas?
01:58:35.000How much of it is just doom scrolling?
02:00:15.000Well, it's so like you can, everyone's entertainment's so like in their own lane that you can come across a video and be like 8 million views and you've never even seen it.
02:05:51.000You get a ticket when you get there, and you can't lose your ticket.
02:05:53.000If you lose your ticket, you got to pay like 50 bucks because you take that ticket, and on that ticket, they write all the things you get.
02:05:59.000So you go up to the counter and they're like, We're going to get you.
02:06:02.000And there's guys that have been fucking chopping meat since the 20s, you know, and they'll slice you off a couple of pieces of brisket, slice you off a couple of pieces of pastrami, and you get to eat it while you're there, while you're waiting for your sandwich to be made.
02:06:14.000And, you know, you tell him what you want, and he pulls the fucking pastrami out and starts slicing it up in front of you.
02:09:32.000New York-style deli menu with sandwiches like Rubens, day-long breakfast dishes like waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes, entrees including pork roasts and meatloaf.
02:10:44.000Oh, at 2 in the morning, all the fucking zombies.
02:10:46.000And there's that road when you go up to 7th where when you're headed towards Creek, there's a whole parking lot that's got a bunch of food trucks up in there.
02:10:57.000My favorite place is called Diddy Dog.
02:11:41.000And then after you live here for like five years, you get, I think you just get so tired of brisket that you can't look at it again for a while.
02:11:49.000I eat so much brisket that I only go now when like out of town people bark.
02:11:54.000Yeah, I can eat it 24 days out of a month.
02:12:26.000Yeah, I think in terms of like brisket and barbecue and stuff, I think they were telling me that.
02:12:31.000I forget what the exact statistic they told me, but it was like the volume of food that they serve there is like as high as anywhere in the country.
02:15:13.000Well, you should probably pay attention a little bit, but some people must have an obligation to do it because if it doesn't get exposed, then it's going to continue.
02:15:22.000And the only way that you can kind of put a stop to this stuff is people have to get busted and they have to be held accountable.
02:15:52.000Just be happy with where you are and work from there.
02:15:55.000Yeah, but it's just like some people feel obligated to be a part of something, you know, and then you find the thing about with Metzger is like, he wasn't always like this.
02:16:05.000I was friends with him long before he started working with Jimmy.
02:16:08.000And he was, you know, fun and crazy, always like the same kind of guy.
02:16:13.000But now it's like the obsession is all on deep corruption and conspiracies.
02:19:22.000And I feel like you should, like, if you were thinking about doing a special, would you ever consider doing a bottom of the barrel type special?
02:19:27.000No, because I'd say too much wild shit that I wouldn't want to get published.
02:20:19.000There was at the very end, there was this very racist cartoon Beaver, and he would have like the buck teeth and the rice hat, and then he would rate every girl out of Fortune, like out of five Fortune cookies at the end of each video.
02:20:31.000That was the whole premise of the site.
02:20:35.000That's what we were coming up with in porn.
02:20:37.000And then one day, and we'd watch that together in like seventh grade.
02:20:39.000Like that's the R huddling around the magazine.
02:20:42.000And then one day we invited the weird guy and he had found one where people fuck animals.
02:20:59.000And then what I said on stage is, it gave me the life experience to know that sometimes when you, sometimes when you watch people fuck a dog, sometime the dog enjoys it.
02:21:10.000And they all looked at me like I was horrified, which is a kind of horrifying thing to say, but I was also like, well, you brought it up.
02:21:15.000I wasn't going to tell the story unless you asked me.
02:21:38.000Yeah, because there's a door down into the basement.
02:21:40.000So one of us had to stand up at the door, and the rest of us were huddled in front of this fucking 12-inch television with a VCR attached to it.
02:23:41.000And that's how she sells, which is like, yeah, which, you know, take it for what it is, but like her and that the Nick Shirley guy virgin, Nick Fuentes virgin, it's like, that's like a thing that you can sell to Gen Z is virginity.
02:23:54.000Yeah, you were talking to me about this in the green room, that like this incel problem is unrecognized.
02:24:00.000That there's a giant percentage of people that are like voluntarily celibate in this country.
02:24:05.000And it's like a lot of it is maybe this sort of new religious, this sort of religious fervor that's sort of developing with them as well because Gen Z is more religious.
02:25:53.000The West, the West, the fertility rates in the West are like massively concerning.
02:25:58.000Like it's, you know, people like worry about bringing in migrants, but at the same time, they're the only ones having kids at replacement level.
02:28:10.000And then you get into in vitro fertilization.
02:28:13.000Yeah, there's definitely some with this wave of feminism and capitalism.
02:28:17.000There's definitely some like insidious ties there of just like you can you can oh like work create capital for us and then make it make it so it's impossible or very hard for a one working house spouse to like just if the man is working to raise a kid do you think it's on purpose I think Maybe it didn't start on purpose, but I think it sort of became intertwined.
02:30:16.000They're like a couple generations away from how you're going to support this whole thing unless you let people in.
02:30:21.000Well, or you encourage people to have kids if you turn it around with the youngest people and then you have like a blip for a while, but then it gets back to it.
02:30:30.000But man, you have to like make a concerted effort.
02:30:32.000And how do you encourage people to have children?
02:30:34.000Like, because you're going to have to have women that don't pursue careers.
02:30:44.000And when you have kids, you realize how nuts that is.
02:30:47.000Because it's like, man, your kids, they want their parents.
02:30:50.000And that's good for them to have their parents around, especially in this world of predators and creeps and weirdos and things that can happen at daycare.
02:31:55.000But like in your early 20s, when people were like settling down in their 20s beforehand, it made sense.
02:31:59.000They were the only person around, maybe like, but now you're in a city, you can just, it can be like in a big one in New York where there's like an endless stream of people.
02:32:08.000There's no reason to make a choice if you don't want to.
02:32:12.000I saw a video of a lady who created an app where a man is allowed to pay for her preparation for the date.
02:32:21.000So the man sends her money so that she can get her nails done, get clothes for the date, all these different things for the date.
02:36:36.000Yeah, I read when I was a kid, I read this book called Persepolis.
02:36:39.000It's in my greatest books of all time.
02:36:41.000But it's I read Persepolis and I was like maybe in high school, early late middle school, and I just realized, like, oh, man.
02:36:49.000Because you get bombarded, especially at that time, where in fighting in the Middle East, you get bombarded with propaganda of like what these people are like over there.
02:36:56.000I'm like, oh, right, they're just people.
02:36:58.000Like, she has a scene where she's just wanting to listen to music with her friends, but the Islamic police is like, will fucking fuck them up if they get caught.
02:37:07.000And they just have these secret parties with just listening to music.
02:37:17.000Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado insists that Maduro rigged the 2020 U.S. elections against Donald Trump and many other elections in the region.
02:38:52.000Here's a tweet from before the election even happened.
02:38:55.000Nicholas Maduro's campaign manager, this is from 2024, just went on national TV to declare victory despite exit polls showing a historic loss for their socialist regime.
02:39:06.000They're setting up to commit a bigger election theft than the 2020 election in the United States.
02:40:12.000Like, it kind of tells also the other countries, like, hey, back off.
02:40:15.000Well, it's pretty crazy what they did, if it's true, with that whole sonar weapon or sound weapon, whatever it did that, like, literally, like, makes your organs bubble.
02:40:24.000And everybody, like, falls to the ground.
02:40:25.000They're in writhing in pain and agony.
02:40:28.000And then they just stormed in and everybody was incapacitated.
02:41:13.000Or just guy account clearly just making stuff up.
02:41:17.000See if you can find an account of how they did it because there's an account by someone who is a witness that was there at the scene that said how fucking crazy it was that these guys came out of nowhere.
02:42:19.000What's really interesting is my friend Evan Hafer was talking about that like a year ago on the podcast.
02:42:25.000He was talking about it maybe less than a year.
02:42:27.000He was like, if we go to war with the cartels, like they have no idea what kind of ultraviolence they're in for.
02:42:37.000He's like, the shit that these guys are going to do when they're going to plan this out, they built a replica of his house and they went through it blindfolded.
02:43:30.000Yeah, but I think, yeah, I think that's what warfare, outside of what's happening in Russia, Ukraine, that's kind of what warfare is now, right?
02:43:35.000Like, oh, is Iran going to Israel going to go to war with Iran?
02:43:39.000We'll just quickly just take out all their generals real quick.
02:43:42.000Well, that's the threat of war is done.
02:43:44.000You know, you're dealing with Venezuela versus the United States of America.
02:44:36.000Well, yeah, the cost of living there is so high, too.
02:44:38.000It's like, like when we talk about like young comics, it's like it's what you have in Austin is like at least a way, a much cheaper quality of life.
02:45:02.000I think a lot of like California and New York developers came in here and they were like, Austin's where people are, so we can just build a lot.
02:45:08.000But in New York and California, you have a finite amount of space.
02:46:10.000It's, it's, but, yeah, it's just a cheaper place to, like, for a young comic who, like, if it's time to move to a place, it's like Austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality stage time as well.
02:46:27.000I feel like there are times where I would take a day off in LA and I feel like I'm falling behind because everyone around you is so frantic.
02:46:35.000And here it's like, oh, I can breathe.
02:46:37.000I can actually just enjoy this day off.
02:49:35.000People's minds, like people's political memories are so short that, yeah, 2028, that's so far away from COVID that he can just be like, ah, I did fine or whatever the fuck.
02:51:56.000You ever see when Crockett and Marjorie Taylor Greene start going back and forth with each other, insulting each other and yelling at each other?
02:53:03.000Well, it's just by being unreliable, like being people that you can't trust.
02:53:07.000And uncensored conversation is like people are going to trust them more because this is how people talk to their friends more often than not.
02:53:14.000Than like, oh, I can't say this because this sponsor is going to be mad at me.