The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2458

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan experience train by day, Joe Rogan, podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 A lot of people have lights on their tables now to light up their face to make them look more pretty.

00:00:16.000 Really?

00:00:17.000 Yeah, they have like a slight, like a like an opening in the table, and then a light that gets on you so you don't see like the shadows in your face so you don't look shitty.

00:00:27.000 I feel like that doesn't, isn't that what you do?

00:00:28.000 Like a scary story?

00:00:29.000 You put a flashlight under your chin?

00:00:31.000 Yeah, but they're not trying to do that.

00:00:32.000 They try to like balance it out.

00:00:33.000 Yeah, you look flat.

00:00:35.000 That's crazy.

00:00:37.000 You look like what you look like.

00:00:38.000 Yeah, you got to give up after a while.

00:00:40.000 The weirdest shit is men who use filters when they take pictures.

00:00:44.000 That's insane.

00:00:45.000 There's comedian men that use filters.

00:00:47.000 Really?

00:00:48.000 Yes.

00:00:48.000 It's very odd.

00:00:49.000 How do you know?

00:00:50.000 How do you tell?

00:00:50.000 How do you know what they really look like?

00:00:53.000 And then you see them and they look like a cartoon.

00:00:55.000 Like Netflix does that with their pictures that they use when they promote your special, like the picture of you.

00:01:02.000 They'll put that bitch through a filter.

00:01:04.000 That makes sense.

00:01:05.000 You look so pretty.

00:01:08.000 And people see you after the show.

00:01:09.000 You're like, you look horrible.

00:01:10.000 I didn't know you looked so bad.

00:01:12.000 You look so old.

00:01:13.000 I am so old.

00:01:13.000 Thanks, man.

00:01:16.000 I'm almost 60.

00:01:17.000 Dang.

00:01:18.000 It's crazy.

00:01:18.000 I know.

00:01:19.000 I'm 58.

00:01:20.000 Just turned 40.

00:01:20.000 I'm 40.

00:01:22.000 Those are real numbers.

00:01:23.000 Yeah, I know.

00:01:24.000 I aged.

00:01:25.000 As soon as I had kids, I age like immediately.

00:01:27.000 You would have thought I literally gave birth.

00:01:29.000 Yeah, well, it's this lack of sleep.

00:01:32.000 Yeah, that's what got me.

00:01:33.000 You know what's really good for that?

00:01:33.000 Yeah.

00:01:34.000 Creatine.

00:01:35.000 I've been taking it.

00:01:36.000 Yeah, creatine, they say 20 grams a day.

00:01:39.000 Start like with five and work your way up to 20 and check to see how your butthole holds up because the seal might be loose.

00:01:46.000 I've ran this experiment actually.

00:01:48.000 20 gets my guts going, man.

00:01:50.000 Bro, it does.

00:01:51.000 It does.

00:01:52.000 I don't do 20 in a dose.

00:01:53.000 I do 10 in the morning and 10 at night.

00:01:56.000 Because I was doing 20 in a dose and it was just like, everybody out of the pool.

00:02:01.000 I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad for you.

00:02:03.000 I swear to God, like not shitting for sure, but diarrhea is just like, let's speed this up.

00:02:08.000 Well, isn't that what is that consumption?

00:02:11.000 What is the disease where you can't stop having diarrhea?

00:02:14.000 Dysentery.

00:02:15.000 That's it.

00:02:16.000 Yeah.

00:02:16.000 Shit.

00:02:17.000 Well, if you can't stop having it, sure.

00:02:17.000 All right.

00:02:19.000 Well, that's like you can't digest food.

00:02:21.000 It just goes right through you and just shit constantly.

00:02:23.000 Yeah, you shit starve.

00:02:25.000 Yeah.

00:02:25.000 That sucks, actually.

00:02:26.000 Yeah, that sucks.

00:02:27.000 Not good.

00:02:28.000 Once a week, though, that's fine.

00:02:29.000 You know what I used to do?

00:02:30.000 I used to drink kale smoothies in the morning.

00:02:33.000 That was the first thing that I would do.

00:02:34.000 I would throw kale and garlic and like apples and shit in a blender.

00:02:38.000 And that's what I would drink first thing in the morning.

00:02:41.000 And boy, that is just like, that clears the pathway.

00:02:45.000 That's like, you know, when you clear your rain gutters of leaves?

00:02:48.000 Yeah.

00:02:50.000 You get a hose on that bitch and you just fucking blow them off the top.

00:02:54.000 That's what it's like.

00:02:55.000 Yeah, I've done the green drink before.

00:02:56.000 It does get you.

00:02:57.000 I was vegan for like a month, and that was like the biggest dumps, but I actually got hemorrhoids from being vegan.

00:03:03.000 Oh, because on the toilet?

00:03:04.000 It was just that the turds were so big.

00:03:06.000 I was getting like blown out.

00:03:08.000 I got hemorrhoids from being vegan.

00:03:10.000 Was it taking too long to poop or weren't you just like, it was just spectacular?

00:03:14.000 It was massive, bro.

00:03:15.000 Yeah, it was spectacular.

00:03:17.000 There were massive bull liners.

00:03:19.000 It was like twice a day.

00:03:21.000 I was like an adult entertainer, dude.

00:03:23.000 I was like, my body just gave out.

00:03:25.000 Adult entertainer.

00:03:27.000 Well, when you think about it, it's all that fiber that your body doesn't process.

00:03:31.000 But they say that that's what's good for keeping you clean, you know?

00:03:35.000 The fiber pushes everything out.

00:03:35.000 Yeah.

00:03:37.000 I'm back on the fiber train now.

00:03:39.000 I was all about protein.

00:03:40.000 Now I'm like, yeah, I need my fiber now.

00:03:43.000 It's hard to know who's right because the carnivore people are like, you don't need fiber.

00:03:48.000 There's no need for fiber.

00:03:49.000 But then there's like, there's evidence that fiber's good for you.

00:03:53.000 Yeah.

00:03:53.000 Isn't that what your whole microbiome needs to like make the germs or whatever that are good for your brain?

00:03:58.000 I don't know.

00:03:59.000 I get confused as well, but my balance is I eat a lot of kimchi.

00:04:03.000 I really like kimchi.

00:04:04.000 That's a move.

00:04:05.000 I eat that stuff all the time.

00:04:06.000 Kimchi and I eat sauerkraut.

00:04:08.000 That stuff's legit.

00:04:09.000 Yeah, I know that stuff's supposed to be good for you.

00:04:10.000 But yeah, I tried the carnivore and it was like first five days I felt cool.

00:04:16.000 And then like after I think I made it to 17 days, I was like, dude, if I just ate some vegetables with this, I'd be the healthiest guy in the world.

00:04:24.000 Because it would just like, I stopped pooping.

00:04:25.000 Like, I was like, this can't be good for me.

00:04:27.000 Well, you don't poop much because there's no fiber.

00:04:30.000 So when you do poop, it's just boop.

00:04:32.000 Yeah.

00:04:33.000 I remember just all the rabbit pellets.

00:04:36.000 And you're like, where's the rest?

00:04:38.000 But I mean, isn't that a good thing?

00:04:40.000 Doesn't it mean your body absorbed all of the food instead of like having all this undigestible stuff go through your digestive tract?

00:04:47.000 This is the argument that the carnivore people.

00:04:48.000 Yeah.

00:04:49.000 I don't want anybody that's a nutritionist right now pulling their hair out.

00:04:52.000 Disinformation.

00:04:54.000 I'm just asking.

00:04:56.000 It's a solid question because it's like, yeah, does food, does meat get stuck in your body and you need plants to push it out of your butt or will meat come out of your butt just like plants will?

00:05:04.000 Well, that was the thing that they would always say: that every man when he dies has a pound of undigested meat in his stomach.

00:05:10.000 Apparently, that's not true.

00:05:11.000 Yeah, that was the old thing about John Wayne.

00:05:13.000 Like, John Wayne had 50 pounds of beef jerky in his butthole.

00:05:16.000 I've like thought about that since I was a little boy.

00:05:18.000 I've been wondering, like, how much are they going to find in me?

00:05:20.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:05:22.000 No, John Wayne just had a gut from probably beer.

00:05:22.000 That's not the case.

00:05:26.000 You know, beer and pasta and bread.

00:05:26.000 Yeah.

00:05:29.000 True.

00:05:29.000 And, you know, normal American food.

00:05:32.000 Also, he was, I mean, when was, what was his heyday?

00:05:35.000 Like 50s, 60s or 60s?

00:05:37.000 I guess 60s, 70s, maybe.

00:05:38.000 When did he do that Genghis Khan movie?

00:05:40.000 That's what killed him.

00:05:42.000 What year was that?

00:05:43.000 50s, I think.

00:05:45.000 Yeah, because it's like those dudes weren't on like true grit.

00:05:48.000 Yeah.

00:05:49.000 Those days, yeah.

00:05:50.000 Dude, they weren't being like, oh, how much fiber have I had there?

00:05:52.000 No.

00:05:53.000 That was even in like the 90s.

00:05:53.000 Yeah, they were.

00:05:55.000 The dude didn't think about what they're eating.

00:05:57.000 56?

00:05:57.000 56.

00:05:58.000 Wow.

00:05:59.000 That's one of the worst movies of all time.

00:06:00.000 You ever see it?

00:06:01.000 No.

00:06:01.000 This Genghis Khan movie?

00:06:03.000 How did it kill him?

00:06:04.000 Oh, he filmed it in the same area where Nevada was doing their nuclear tests.

00:06:10.000 Everybody got cancer.

00:06:11.000 Damn.

00:06:12.000 Like the whole crew, like a giant number of people got cancer.

00:06:15.000 Yeah.

00:06:15.000 And Tony, that was back when guys would be like, nuclear bomb.

00:06:18.000 I don't care about it.

00:06:19.000 Like, they didn't care.

00:06:20.000 Like, I used to work with guys that do asbestos back in like the 90s when I was little.

00:06:24.000 Me and like my dad and my uncle's all day construction.

00:06:25.000 So we were like taking this barn down.

00:06:27.000 And I was like a little boy, just like hammering nails into an A-frame.

00:06:30.000 And they shut it down because there was asbestos in there.

00:06:33.000 And there's this guy who was like, dude, your uncle's a pussy.

00:06:35.000 I'd eat that shit for breakfast.

00:06:36.000 I don't care about asbestos.

00:06:38.000 And it's like, I don't know.

00:06:40.000 Now I grew up, I'm like, damn, thank God they shut that down.

00:06:42.000 Well, there were so many things that caused cancer that no one knew about at the time.

00:06:46.000 Yeah.

00:06:47.000 Like, how about baby powder?

00:06:48.000 Yeah, dude.

00:06:49.000 I didn't know about that either.

00:06:50.000 Well, the thing is, what I think what the story is, is that where they mine the talc, that the talc is not always pure, and the talc has other stuff mixed in it, and they don't filter that stuff out.

00:07:02.000 Is it asbestos that it's mixed with?

00:07:05.000 I thought that stuff was cornstarch.

00:07:07.000 I'm not into perplexity, please.

00:07:09.000 I thought it was cornstarch.

00:07:11.000 What?

00:07:12.000 Baby powder?

00:07:13.000 So it's talc.

00:07:13.000 No.

00:07:14.000 Talc, I believe.

00:07:15.000 Evidence of small but real cancer risk with some talc-based baby powders, mainly due to genital use and possible asbestos contamination.

00:07:23.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:07:24.000 But the data are mixed, and the absolute risk for any one person is low.

00:07:27.000 Talc itself as a mineral can be mined near asbestos, so contamination is the main worry.

00:07:33.000 Asbestos is a known cause of mesothelioma, mesothelioma, and other cancers.

00:07:41.000 Yeah, quite a few women.

00:07:42.000 I think there was a lawsuit.

00:07:44.000 I remember hearing that.

00:07:45.000 I remember I was dismayed because that was like, I had a weird thing when I was younger.

00:07:48.000 I used to use baby powder to masturbate.

00:07:50.000 Yo.

00:07:50.000 Because it just like makes everything feel so.

00:07:52.000 So it was kind of nice.

00:07:53.000 And the smell, if I smell baby powder to this day, it's like a trigger for me.

00:07:56.000 Yeah.

00:07:57.000 If I smell it, I'm like, god damn, bro.

00:07:58.000 Take that shit away from me.

00:08:00.000 Well, I used to use it a lot to play pool.

00:08:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:03.000 Yeah, everybody used baby powder.

00:08:04.000 You use baby powder on your fingers.

00:08:06.000 It makes the shaft slide through your fingers.

00:08:07.000 But then they invented gloves.

00:08:09.000 And so that keeps the table clean.

00:08:11.000 Yeah.

00:08:12.000 This is like, I guess they're, I don't know what they're made out of.

00:08:15.000 It's like a nylon, like a very thin nylon.

00:08:18.000 So it's not getting constant slick.

00:08:19.000 Yeah.

00:08:20.000 Yeah, but baby powder, no bueno.

00:08:22.000 What else?

00:08:23.000 They're saying LED lights now.

00:08:24.000 That's what I keep hearing.

00:08:25.000 LED.

00:08:26.000 They're saying like it kills your mitochondria.

00:08:27.000 These LED?

00:08:28.000 Are these LED?

00:08:31.000 Fuck, do we have to change our lights?

00:08:33.000 Are we dying in here?

00:08:35.000 What is that?

00:08:35.000 LED lights and what?

00:08:37.000 I think they like crush your mitochondria.

00:08:39.000 Oh, geez.

00:08:40.000 I don't know if I just get scared by AI clips on Instagram.

00:08:42.000 Bro, I'm scared of everything.

00:08:43.000 I have to fucking stay offline.

00:08:44.000 I know.

00:08:46.000 I'm reading too much of the news and it's overwhelming me.

00:08:49.000 Like sometimes at nighttime, I can't wind down.

00:08:52.000 It's just like there's too much news.

00:08:52.000 Yeah.

00:08:54.000 It's too much fucking madness.

00:08:55.000 We're about to go to war with Iran.

00:08:57.000 I know.

00:08:58.000 Everyone's eating beef jerky and pizza.

00:09:00.000 Like, what are these files?

00:09:01.000 What the fuck is pizza?

00:09:03.000 You know, how far does this go?

00:09:05.000 How come this never got released before?

00:09:07.000 Like, what is happening?

00:09:08.000 I mean, my thing is, like, I'm not.

00:09:09.000 First of all, the news for me is like, aside from all the disastrous wars, it's just so like negative.

00:09:14.000 When you read the news, it's mostly people being like, guess who's a giant piece of shit?

00:09:18.000 You read that over and over and you get like addicted to being like, yeah, that guy sucks.

00:09:18.000 Right.

00:09:22.000 I'm good.

00:09:22.000 Well, there was an article that I read recently about people being addicted to outrage.

00:09:26.000 I mean, it's a real thing.

00:09:28.000 Being addicted to being upset about stuff and addicted to outrage.

00:09:28.000 Oh, for sure.

00:09:31.000 You go search for it, which is why your algorithm shows you all that shit.

00:09:34.000 Yeah.

00:09:35.000 No, I mean, I don't know if this is true, but I feel like they watch your facial expression through your phone camera and feed you stuff if you're making like interested or outrage or whatever.

00:09:45.000 I wouldn't be shocked.

00:09:46.000 I've heard they like track your eyeball movement and they're like, okay, this is holding his eyes and they just keep feeding you.

00:09:51.000 I've heard that.

00:09:51.000 Really?

00:09:53.000 Probably put a piece of tape over that bitch.

00:09:55.000 I know.

00:09:56.000 I wonder if you did, how much would change?

00:09:58.000 That'd be an interesting experience.

00:10:00.000 Well, they got your mic too, so they got your audio.

00:10:02.000 That's true.

00:10:03.000 But yeah, the new dude, that, yeah, all that Epstein shit is like, I can't follow it.

00:10:07.000 It's too much.

00:10:08.000 It's too many names.

00:10:09.000 I don't know state representative.

00:10:10.000 They're like naming all these people.

00:10:11.000 It's like, damn, I wish I knew who that was.

00:10:13.000 And it's dark, too.

00:10:14.000 It's horrible.

00:10:16.000 And it goes so high.

00:10:17.000 There's so many levels to it.

00:10:20.000 You know, Sager and Yeti was just on Flagrant and they were reading off files and talking about, and it's just like, what the fuck, man?

00:10:28.000 Yeah, you need to study all day to like follow it.

00:10:30.000 Prince Andrew's crazy.

00:10:31.000 Him getting arrested.

00:10:32.000 He's the first.

00:10:33.000 What other prince has gotten?

00:10:34.000 It must have been like not since 500 years ago.

00:10:36.000 Yeah, when was the last time a prince was arrested?

00:10:38.000 I have no idea.

00:10:39.000 And also, he's, if he goes to jail, if he goes to real jail, he's getting clapped.

00:10:43.000 Yeah.

00:10:44.000 He's a known, you know, it's very, very likely he was a pedophile.

00:10:48.000 If pedophiles go to jail.

00:10:50.000 Well, what do they know that they're putting him in jail first or they're arresting him first?

00:10:55.000 Like, what do they know?

00:10:56.000 Because they did a bunch of things, right?

00:10:58.000 The first thing they do is they stripped him of his princehood, right?

00:11:02.000 And then they banished him to some estate somewhere on the country.

00:11:02.000 Exactly.

00:11:06.000 And then they removed him from the estate.

00:11:07.000 They kicked him out of that state.

00:11:08.000 Yeah.

00:11:09.000 So it's been like levels upon levels.

00:11:12.000 So what do they know?

00:11:13.000 I think the royal family gets to see the real deal.

00:11:15.000 So they probably saw the real deal and were like, bro, you're fried.

00:11:19.000 You're going to jail.

00:11:20.000 And he might be the first.

00:11:22.000 He might get like clapped in jail.

00:11:24.000 Someone might get royal.

00:11:24.000 Jesus.

00:11:26.000 Royal asshole.

00:11:27.000 Yeah, he might get royal fucking pussy.

00:11:29.000 Don't you think they have him in?

00:11:31.000 Did they have protective custody?

00:11:32.000 For sure.

00:11:32.000 He'll be in productive custody for sure.

00:11:34.000 Do they have that over there?

00:11:35.000 They'll probably make a jail for him.

00:11:36.000 I would imagine they do.

00:11:37.000 I think anything we have here, I would imagine they have protective custody.

00:11:41.000 Because if you're even, if people even think you're a pedophile in jail, they're going to.

00:11:44.000 Do you think that starts like a whole cascade and then a bunch of other people start getting arrested?

00:11:49.000 No, I think they're going to hang him up and be like, we got him.

00:11:53.000 I don't believe that all these billionaires are going to let themselves get arrested.

00:11:57.000 They have billions of dollars.

00:11:58.000 Paris prosecutors opened two new Epstein-linked investigations.

00:12:02.000 Uh-oh.

00:12:03.000 With who?

00:12:04.000 There was, I think it's the Jean-Luc guy who's a co-conspirator.

00:12:10.000 He was also dighted.

00:12:12.000 He died in custody in jail.

00:12:14.000 God damn it, not again.

00:12:15.000 So they reopened the investigation on that.

00:12:18.000 And somebody else, I think, that they just found out that was high up in how did he die in jail?

00:12:26.000 I don't.

00:12:28.000 Officially?

00:12:30.000 Yeah.

00:12:32.000 There you go.

00:12:34.000 He was found dead.

00:12:36.000 Okay.

00:12:37.000 Just found dead.

00:12:38.000 Oh, he died.

00:12:39.000 How old was he?

00:12:44.000 At the time of it, it was fun.

00:12:47.000 Yeah.

00:12:48.000 And also the.

00:12:49.000 1976.

00:12:50.000 Oh, that's about the time dudes like that die.

00:12:54.000 But they didn't ever.

00:12:54.000 Yeah.

00:12:55.000 There's a probe, and I think they've reopened the probe also.

00:12:59.000 Of how he died?

00:13:01.000 Yeah.

00:13:02.000 That's going to be a tough one to solve.

00:13:05.000 You're going to have hit some roadblocks.

00:13:08.000 I wouldn't be surprised if somebody whacked him.

00:13:10.000 We were just talking about the guy that Epstein was in jail with, which is crazy.

00:13:13.000 Like, if Epstein is alive, some people think he's alive.

00:13:15.000 Some people think they scooted him out of his cell, switched a body double, killed that guy.

00:13:20.000 But why would they put him in jail with that gigantic cop who was a contract killer?

00:13:27.000 That fucking guy.

00:13:29.000 That's one picture.

00:13:30.000 Show me the picture of the tank top picture.

00:13:31.000 That's the one.

00:13:32.000 Whoa.

00:13:33.000 Bro, look at the size of that guy.

00:13:35.000 And this guy was a cop, who was a dirty cop who was killing drug dealers.

00:13:40.000 Yeah.

00:13:41.000 I mean, maybe that was the plan.

00:13:42.000 Be like, all right, we'll put him in here.

00:13:43.000 It'll sound good if this guy kills him.

00:13:45.000 Like, oh man.

00:13:46.000 And then 18 days before he died, he complained that his cellmate tried to kill him.

00:13:52.000 Yeah.

00:13:52.000 What?

00:13:53.000 See if we can find him.

00:13:54.000 The different guy?

00:13:55.000 No, Epstein did.

00:13:56.000 No, I'm saying, was he complaining about the murderous cop or is this a different guy?

00:14:00.000 That's crazy, dude.

00:14:01.000 Dude, that's crazy.

00:14:03.000 Also, how did he try to kill him and not kill him?

00:14:06.000 That's what I was just going to say.

00:14:07.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:14:08.000 Epstein slipped away and just like sat in the corner.

00:14:10.000 I mean, maybe he screamed loud enough and the guards came.

00:14:14.000 The night Jeffrey Epstein claimed his cellmate tried to kill him.

00:14:14.000 Yeah, but they would say that.

00:14:17.000 So he laid in a fetal position on the floor of his jail cell, unresponsive with an orange fabric news.

00:14:21.000 Oh, this is when they found him.

00:14:24.000 18 days before Epstein's death, he wasn't breathing.

00:14:27.000 His eyes were opening.

00:14:28.000 Oh, so this was when they found him.

00:14:30.000 Oh, so they did find they found him in the fetal position?

00:14:34.000 Oh, no, this was the orange fabric news.

00:14:37.000 That's when they found him dead.

00:14:39.000 Okay.

00:14:40.000 18 days before Epstein.

00:14:41.000 No.

00:14:42.000 Okay.

00:14:43.000 So it is saying that.

00:14:45.000 So it's saying that he had an orange noose tied around his neck 18 days before he died.

00:14:50.000 What?

00:14:51.000 What?

00:14:52.000 What the fuck?

00:14:53.000 So July 23rd, 2019, 18 days before Epstein's death, he wasn't breathing, his eyes opening and shutting occasionally, but he wouldn't or couldn't respond to officers' questions and commands.

00:14:53.000 What?

00:15:04.000 According to a confidential corrections officer's memo obtained by CBS News, they hoisted inmate 76318054 onto a stretcher.

00:15:14.000 Officials have repeatedly said Epstein's death, eventual death by suicide was foreshadowed by this earlier alleged attempt.

00:15:22.000 Former Attorney General Bill Barr reiterated that claim in an August closed-door deposition before the House Oversight Committee, which released the interview transcript last week.

00:15:32.000 Barr, who did not reply to questions from CBS News, said in his testimony he knew about the July 23rd incident, which he viewed as an attempted suicide.

00:15:42.000 Barr said he considered it indicative of Epstein's state of mind.

00:15:46.000 But jail staff memos, other never-before-reported documents obtained by CBS News, as well as interviews with more than a dozen people who interacted with Epstein before and after the incident reveal a murkier picture than the one depicted by Barr.

00:16:00.000 The new documents have surfaced amid persistent speculation over Epstein's death, despite official conclusions that he died by suicide.

00:16:07.000 So he's laying on the floor and his bunky is screaming, I did nothing.

00:16:11.000 I banged on my door to get him out of my cell, the source said.

00:16:14.000 Corruptions officers carried Epstein to his cell on a different floor as he remained unresponsive.

00:16:20.000 Was it the same cop, the contract killer cop?

00:16:25.000 Yep, right?

00:16:25.000 He told them he thought he'd been attacked by his cellmate, an ex-cop, who was awaiting trial on four murders.

00:16:33.000 But they're saying that was an attempted suicide?

00:16:35.000 Well, they tried to frame it as an attempted suicide.

00:16:38.000 No, I would imagine he doesn't have a way to contact the outside world and thus tweet about this.

00:16:43.000 Yeah.

00:16:43.000 Right?

00:16:43.000 He can't make an Instagram video.

00:16:45.000 Hey guys, this guy's trying to fucking kill me.

00:16:47.000 He sat up on the bed and began telling me that he thinks his bunky tried to kill him.

00:16:51.000 A responding officer wrote in one memo.

00:16:53.000 A senior officer wrote in a separate incident report that Epstein initially implicated his cellmate in the incident, claiming he had previously said things that made Epstein feel threatened.

00:17:05.000 So Nicholas Tartaglion, his cellmate, repeatedly disputed the initial allegation.

00:17:12.000 I did nothing.

00:17:13.000 And said he tried to revive him.

00:17:14.000 I tried to revive him.

00:17:16.000 As with Epstein's eventual death, any camera footage of the incident was either mislaid, lost, or never captured by the facility's faculty faulty system, rather.

00:17:28.000 Tartaglion has not responded to emailed questions from CBS News.

00:17:33.000 His lawyer said Epstein's initial claim that Tartaglione tried to kill him was flatly not true.

00:17:33.000 How odd.

00:17:41.000 Well, okay.

00:17:43.000 So maybe he did try to, I mean, you know, there's a chance he did try to kill himself and was like, shit, I don't want to get him.

00:17:48.000 And then his guy saved him.

00:17:49.000 He said he saved him.

00:17:50.000 So it says it right here.

00:17:51.000 Scroll back up a little bit.

00:17:52.000 Tartaglione said in a recent interview, that Epstein also left a suicide note and it even offered Tartaglion money to kill him.

00:18:01.000 What?

00:18:03.000 Neither of those details, if true, are referenced in any of the Bureau of Prison records that were reviewed by CBS News.

00:18:09.000 So as we scroll up higher, it says he said he saved his life the first time.

00:18:15.000 So it's saying that he saved his life.

00:18:17.000 He yelled when the guy his attorney says.

00:18:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:18:21.000 Like he's saying he tried to kill himself once.

00:18:23.000 Yeah, but that's just his attorney saying that.

00:18:25.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:18:27.000 Epstein claimed to both corrections officers and the source that he felt threatened by Tartaglion, hulking retired cop turned drug dealer who was charged and later convicted for four murders.

00:18:40.000 Just how could you take the most high-profile defendant ever and put him in a cage with a murderer?

00:18:47.000 Take that part.

00:18:49.000 His bunky told him that if he beat him up because of Epstein's child sex trafficking charges, the officers would not report it.

00:18:58.000 Oh, that's what he told them.

00:19:00.000 The wealthy, allegedly, the wealthy former financier told jail officers that he believed Tartaglion was trying to extort money from him and stated that if he didn't pay him, that he was going to beat him up.

00:19:11.000 The officer wrote, he stated that this has been going on for a week.

00:19:15.000 Then that guy saying Epstein was trying to pay me to kill him for himself.

00:19:20.000 You would think they could find a middle ground, man.

00:19:21.000 Well, someone's lying.

00:19:22.000 Yeah, I know.

00:19:23.000 That's the craziest line.

00:19:25.000 There's too many plot holes.

00:19:26.000 There's no way.

00:19:27.000 Imagine him saying, I'll pay you to kill me.

00:19:30.000 Yeah.

00:19:31.000 Also, it's like, wait, how are we going to do that?

00:19:33.000 How are we going to work this all out?

00:19:34.000 Yeah, the guy's already in.

00:19:36.000 Well, that would, and then what's he going to do with the money?

00:19:38.000 Exactly.

00:19:39.000 How's he going to get the money?

00:19:40.000 I guess you can give it.

00:19:41.000 If you know somebody, you know, you love, you can give it to them.

00:19:43.000 Right.

00:19:43.000 Does he have money or does all of his money go to the victims' families?

00:19:46.000 Like, he killed four people.

00:19:48.000 Shit, he might be right.

00:19:49.000 Right?

00:19:49.000 So it would have to be like an offshore account that, like, get slipped over to the prison so he could buy cigarettes.

00:19:49.000 Yeah.

00:19:54.000 If anyone can do it, if anyone can do it, it's Jeffrey Epstein, man.

00:19:58.000 But it would have to be worked out in advance.

00:20:00.000 Like, you would have to have the cigarettes in the commissary.

00:20:03.000 Time to kill you.

00:20:03.000 Okay.

00:20:04.000 Dude, it's too, you know, I think it's just one of those things.

00:20:07.000 I don't know if people can, you know, want to wrap their heads around it, but there's just people who do things in this world on behalf of Uber billionaires that were just never going to know what's going on for sure.

00:20:19.000 They do horrible, terrible secret stuff.

00:20:21.000 And they always have.

00:20:22.000 This is the thing.

00:20:22.000 Yeah.

00:20:23.000 If, like, if you go throughout history, there's always been secret societies and people that get together with creepy meetings.

00:20:29.000 All that eyes wide shut shit that Qbert put in his film.

00:20:32.000 That's not, he's not imagining that.

00:20:34.000 No, that's always been a thing.

00:20:36.000 The officer that discovered his body dead in August was originally charged with falsified documents related to his death, but those charges were dropped.

00:20:45.000 Hmm.

00:20:46.000 I wonder what the falsifying of the documents was.

00:20:50.000 I don't know.

00:20:51.000 I don't know.

00:20:51.000 Who knows?

00:20:52.000 Maybe people charged it to try to open up the paperwork or whatever.

00:20:55.000 Here it is.

00:20:55.000 Because Epstein was on Suicide Watch after the July 23rd incident, Thomas was required to record a log of observations about Epstein in 15-minute increments.

00:21:06.000 Those notations were released by the Bureau of Prisons in 2023, along with just one entry he made in the log, a note made at 2.15 a.m., 45 minutes after the incident.

00:21:16.000 15 minutes later at 2.30, Thomas wrote, inmates sitting on bed trying to remember what happened.

00:21:22.000 Huh.

00:21:25.000 So this is when he got attacked, the first time that he survived.

00:21:25.000 Yeah, man.

00:21:30.000 Yeah, they claim once he got into the separate cell, he was trying to fall forward on his head or something, sat on the edge of the bed and began moving forward as if he was tending to fall over headfirst.

00:21:30.000 Huh.

00:21:41.000 He was told to stop, don't do it again, and he gave a thumbs up.

00:21:41.000 Huh?

00:21:45.000 That's how they confirm he was trying to commit suicide.

00:21:47.000 So he's going to try to commit suicide by falling straight on his head?

00:21:51.000 That's impossible.

00:21:52.000 That's literally impossible.

00:21:53.000 You might be able to pull it off.

00:21:55.000 That's crazy.

00:21:56.000 You would block for sure.

00:21:58.000 There's no way you can just do a sale.

00:21:58.000 Right.

00:22:00.000 I was like thinking about this the other day.

00:22:02.000 I was walking off my steps.

00:22:03.000 I was like, even if I tried, I couldn't do like a swan dive onto the cement.

00:22:06.000 Your body wouldn't let you do it.

00:22:09.000 Yeah, you would resist just enough to be paralyzed for the rest of your life.

00:22:13.000 You would get fucked up for sure.

00:22:14.000 I think you would just kind of flatten out and flail.

00:22:14.000 I don't know.

00:22:16.000 Yeah, because guys die all the time in street fights when they get knocked out and then they fall and they hit their head on the concrete.

00:22:22.000 Dude, it didn't die all the time.

00:22:24.000 It happened before I left Philly a year or so ago.

00:22:26.000 There's a guy just walking his dog off leash.

00:22:28.000 This guy was like, put your dog on leash.

00:22:29.000 They got into work.

00:22:30.000 They started arguing and a guy punched him and he hit his head and died.

00:22:34.000 And then my brother went on an online date with the fiancé of the guy who died and like learned throughout the date, like, oh, shit, you're a lady he was married.

00:22:42.000 It was pretty fucking sad, actually.

00:22:44.000 Oh.

00:22:45.000 He like put it together and he's like, oh, fuck, he died.

00:22:47.000 That sucks.

00:22:48.000 How long after that was the date?

00:22:50.000 I think it was maybe a year and a half.

00:22:52.000 It'd been some time.

00:22:53.000 Long enough to stop the crime.

00:22:55.000 Yeah, I mean, you got to pick it up at one point.

00:22:57.000 Especially if you die like that, man.

00:22:59.000 Got punched on a dog walk and died.

00:23:02.000 I don't know.

00:23:03.000 If I was a walk with a helmet and Jelly, if I was a lady, I'd be like, oh, fuck, I dodged a bullet.

00:23:08.000 Husband could have just died.

00:23:12.000 Yeah, that's scary, though, man.

00:23:13.000 Yeah, the whole thing of like altercations and people popping off to each other anymore.

00:23:17.000 It's just like, I was walking down the street recently and, you know, I had the right of way.

00:23:22.000 I walked and I didn't even like rush in front of the car.

00:23:24.000 The car pulled up and was like, get the fuck out.

00:23:26.000 He threatened to shoot me in the face.

00:23:28.000 I was just like, what the hell, man?

00:23:30.000 Yeah, it was like he had pulled off far enough.

00:23:32.000 He's like, I'll shoot you in your fucking face.

00:23:33.000 And I was just like, please don't.

00:23:35.000 Like, you know, the fuck, man.

00:23:37.000 What are you doing?

00:23:37.000 Bro, you never know who's unhinged.

00:23:39.000 I know.

00:23:40.000 You never know what's going on in that life.

00:23:42.000 The divorce, fucking this, that, just got fired, about to go to jail.

00:23:47.000 Who knows?

00:23:48.000 Yeah.

00:23:49.000 Who knows?

00:23:49.000 Dude, yeah.

00:23:50.000 Best friend was fucking your wife.

00:23:52.000 Could be literally anything.

00:23:53.000 Yes.

00:23:54.000 And like, I never, it's like, yeah, whatever, man.

00:23:56.000 So many people are barely hanging on out there, doing something all day they hate.

00:24:01.000 Yeah.

00:24:02.000 Just fucking tired.

00:24:03.000 Life's in a shambles.

00:24:04.000 Dude, I don't, and especially like people just talk shit to strangers.

00:24:08.000 Like, you have no idea who that person is.

00:24:10.000 I don't know if, you know, who knows if this is like just like an old construction worker tale, but my dad was telling me some guy he knows, his mom or whatever, or like, you know, his friend's mom was at the grocery store.

00:24:21.000 Someone back, they like both going for a parking spot.

00:24:23.000 It was like an old lady, and the guy was like, fucking bitch, get the hell out, blah, blah, blah.

00:24:26.000 Started cursing her out.

00:24:27.000 Her son came out of jail for like, you know, like he was like a biker, all this stuff.

00:24:31.000 And they all like knew each other in the neighborhood.

00:24:33.000 Apparently, the guy who had like cursed out the mom, they were like, nobody ever saw him again.

00:24:37.000 So if that's true, it's like, gee, I always think about that.

00:24:39.000 I'm like, dude, that's, you know, you just can't be, you shouldn't yell at an old lady anyway, but you just have no idea who you're dealing with.

00:24:45.000 Just might as well chill.

00:24:45.000 Right.

00:24:47.000 That was one of the creepier things about the Epstein emails or the files, the data, was that he ordered 330 gallons of sulfuric acid after he'd been indicted.

00:25:00.000 What does that do?

00:25:01.000 Dissolves bodies.

00:25:03.000 Oh, no.

00:25:04.000 Yeah.

00:25:06.000 So they were trying to speculate that like maybe that was for his desalination system that he had.

00:25:11.000 He had like a water system that you need some sulfuric acid cleans it out.

00:25:17.000 But then Jamie looked into it.

00:25:18.000 He had only ordered it like once before ever, but never that much.

00:25:23.000 Yeah.

00:25:24.000 That's terrible.

00:25:25.000 Also, he lives near the oceans.

00:25:27.000 Like, why wouldn't you just go in the ocean?

00:25:29.000 Just you got to get rid of bodies.

00:25:31.000 You just go out the water.

00:25:31.000 You live on an island.

00:25:32.000 Yeah, but they could find it.

00:25:34.000 Yeah, I guess so.

00:25:35.000 Yeah, they might find it.

00:25:36.000 You can't have that.

00:25:36.000 Yeah.

00:25:37.000 True.

00:25:37.000 Especially if it's enough that you need a bunch of acid.

00:25:40.000 Do they have a lot of sharks down there?

00:25:42.000 I would think.

00:25:43.000 Yeah.

00:25:44.000 Like the Bahamas, right?

00:25:45.000 It's like Bahamas area.

00:25:47.000 Yeah, I would think.

00:25:48.000 There's like sharks in Florida.

00:25:49.000 I was just in.

00:25:50.000 Florida's a lot of sharks, especially bull sharks.

00:25:53.000 I was swimming.

00:25:53.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:54.000 I brought my friend with me to do shows, and he was like, I'm worried about sharks.

00:25:57.000 I'm like, there's no fucking sharks out here.

00:25:58.000 We got back and the Uber driver was like, yeah, this is like shark season right now.

00:26:01.000 I was like, oh, fuck, my bad.

00:26:02.000 Shark season?

00:26:03.000 Yeah.

00:26:04.000 I think it's the bull sharks.

00:26:05.000 They see them all the time down there.

00:26:06.000 Bullsharks are scary.

00:26:07.000 They're the ones that they think are responsible for the murders in New Jersey that inspired Jaws.

00:26:12.000 Really?

00:26:13.000 Yeah.

00:26:14.000 How big do they get?

00:26:16.000 They don't get as big as great whites, but the thing about them is they could swim in fresh water.

00:26:22.000 So those murders, that murders, those deaths by shark in New Jersey in like the early 1900s, they were in a river.

00:26:31.000 What?

00:26:32.000 Yeah.

00:26:33.000 So these people were swimming in a river and they got killed by sharks.

00:26:36.000 Yeah, you would never expect it either.

00:26:38.000 Bullsharks are like very aggressive, too.

00:26:40.000 Are they really?

00:26:41.000 Super aggressive.

00:26:42.000 There's the Florida Keys, like guys fish off the piers down there.

00:26:46.000 And it's really great fishing.

00:26:48.000 But if you catch a big fish and you're struggling to get it on the line, most likely a shark's going to kill it.

00:26:54.000 Really?

00:26:54.000 Yeah, most likely you're going to get it bitten in half.

00:26:56.000 There's like tons of videos of guys pulling in fish and the shark just snaps it in half while they're pulling it in.

00:27:02.000 That's terrifying.

00:27:03.000 They're all over the place down there.

00:27:05.000 Dude, I went to Turks and Kegos.

00:27:07.000 Me and my family went down there, my kids.

00:27:08.000 We went snorkeling.

00:27:10.000 And the guy takes us out and he's like, hey, we like, you know, got in the area where we're going to jump in.

00:27:15.000 He's like, hey, there's some baby sharks out there.

00:27:18.000 You know, but they're not going to bother you.

00:27:20.000 I'm like, fuck the fucking.

00:27:21.000 And I have like, I've had like two and a four-year-old with me.

00:27:24.000 So I jump in.

00:27:25.000 I'm like, let me suss it out.

00:27:26.000 I'm going to go see.

00:27:27.000 Dude, I go down and like, these were like, you know, they weren't like 18-foot sharks, but they were like five, six, they were like big enough, but they were 40.

00:27:36.000 It was like probably 40 feet deep.

00:27:38.000 And then they were like at the bottom, but then another 50 feet away.

00:27:41.000 And I was like, bro, I'm not bringing my kids in here.

00:27:43.000 Yeah, I'm trying to find this video that my friend Adam sent me of sharks in Florida.

00:27:49.000 Because I always give him shit.

00:27:51.000 He lives in Australia.

00:27:52.000 And I always give him shit.

00:27:53.000 Like, bro, you live in a place that's filled with monsters.

00:27:55.000 What the fuck are you doing?

00:27:57.000 Because it's true.

00:27:59.000 Florida has a lot, but Australia has more.

00:28:02.000 Australia has saltwater crocodiles.

00:28:04.000 They have great whites.

00:28:05.000 But he sent me this video.

00:28:07.000 It's like, this is in America, mate.

00:28:10.000 And it's these guys are throwing.

00:28:13.000 God, I can't find it.

00:28:14.000 These guys are throwing fish into the water.

00:28:18.000 I'm not going to find it.

00:28:19.000 They're throwing fish into the water right next to the shore.

00:28:22.000 And it's just sharks, like piranhas, just smashing.

00:28:26.000 And they're like off a dock.

00:28:28.000 Dude, they're just like throwing fish scraps in there.

00:28:31.000 And the fish, the sharks are apparently used to it, I guess.

00:28:35.000 That's terrifying.

00:28:36.000 Yeah.

00:28:36.000 Dude, I'm.

00:28:38.000 Oh, here it is.

00:28:38.000 I found it.

00:28:39.000 Nice.

00:28:39.000 Here, hold on.

00:28:40.000 I'll send it to you, Jamie.

00:28:42.000 You ever see a dolphin in real life?

00:28:42.000 Dude, dolphins.

00:28:44.000 They're scary as hell.

00:28:44.000 Yes.

00:28:45.000 Those things are huge.

00:28:46.000 I swam with them.

00:28:47.000 I was in Mexico and I thought I was going to be like, you know, gliding on two of them.

00:28:47.000 I did it too.

00:28:50.000 I was like barely wanting to touch this thing.

00:28:52.000 I did it in Hawaii.

00:28:53.000 You jump off the boat and you snorkel and you get to see them swimming under you.

00:28:57.000 It's really wild.

00:28:58.000 Check this out.

00:28:59.000 So these guys throw these scraps in the water.

00:29:00.000 Look at these sharks.

00:29:01.000 God damn.

00:29:05.000 Look at these things fight for the how crazy is that?

00:29:08.000 Look at these things fight for this.

00:29:10.000 Look how many of them there are.

00:29:11.000 Yeah, that's bro.

00:29:13.000 That's crazy.

00:29:15.000 Mad, look how big they are.

00:29:17.000 Yeah, more than big enough to take your legs off.

00:29:19.000 Go ahead, Dick Wagon.

00:29:20.000 Throw it in.

00:29:20.000 Go ahead, Dick Wagon.

00:29:22.000 Why?

00:29:25.000 I'd be so mad if I was his neighbor.

00:29:26.000 I'd be like, dude, I'm trying to paddleboard, man.

00:29:28.000 Well, I think this is just what they do every day, which is why the sharks are there in the first place.

00:29:33.000 I think when these guys get there, you know, when they fillet the fish, they have the bodies.

00:29:37.000 They just tuck the body overboard and these sharks just destroy it.

00:29:40.000 Yeah.

00:29:40.000 How spooky is that?

00:29:41.000 It's terrifying, dude.

00:29:42.000 Yeah.

00:29:43.000 That's Florida.

00:29:44.000 That's crazy.

00:29:45.000 Florida's Marco Island.

00:29:47.000 I don't know.

00:29:47.000 Where is that?

00:29:48.000 Where's Marco Island?

00:29:49.000 It's probably the Keys.

00:29:51.000 Probably.

00:29:51.000 That's fucking awful.

00:29:52.000 Florida's filled with monsters.

00:29:54.000 Like that whole thing that they're doing with ICE, where they've got that alligator guantanamo.

00:30:00.000 You know, they built a guantanamo for detainees and then they surrounded it with alligator country.

00:30:07.000 Like a cartoon moat?

00:30:08.000 Yeah.

00:30:08.000 That's crazy.

00:30:09.000 Check this out.

00:30:10.000 Okay, so where is it?

00:30:11.000 It's like opposite of Miami on the.

00:30:14.000 Oh, okay.

00:30:14.000 Okay, so it's not, it's not the Keys.

00:30:16.000 It's just Florida.

00:30:18.000 Crazy.

00:30:19.000 Damn.

00:30:19.000 So they have like a classical moat with alligators around it.

00:30:22.000 Well, it's not essentially a moat.

00:30:23.000 Was it an island, I guess?

00:30:25.000 Did they build an island down there?

00:30:25.000 How did they do it?

00:30:27.000 Is that what they did?

00:30:29.000 Somebody got a sweet contract to put that in there.

00:30:31.000 Calling it alligator.

00:30:33.000 Yeah, they call it alligator Alcatraz.

00:30:37.000 What does it look like?

00:30:38.000 Can you show us?

00:30:39.000 Damn, dude.

00:30:40.000 Alligators in Florida everywhere.

00:30:42.000 They say there's not a standing body of water that doesn't have an alligator.

00:30:46.000 I know.

00:30:47.000 My friends were just at Disney World and they said they got a they're like, is there alligators around here?

00:30:50.000 Like, yeah, we flush them out all the time.

00:30:51.000 One killed a kid a few years back.

00:30:53.000 I heard about that.

00:30:53.000 Yeah.

00:30:54.000 Just reached up and just snagged.

00:30:55.000 Bro, imagine you're a little toddler at Disneyland, just saw Cinderella having a good time.

00:31:00.000 That's got to be fast pass.

00:31:01.000 That's fast pass for life, though, for the family.

00:31:04.000 So that is all the Everglades.

00:31:06.000 And the Everglades is just filled.

00:31:08.000 Like, if you go walking, like, I'm out of here.

00:31:11.000 Like, something's probably going to get you.

00:31:11.000 Fuck that.

00:31:13.000 No.

00:31:14.000 The Everglades are so fucked because it's not just the alligators, it's also the pythons.

00:31:19.000 There's giant python AI so ruthless.

00:31:25.000 That's fucking alligators with ice hats on.

00:31:28.000 Dude, the pythons are another because they catch you while you're sleeping.

00:31:31.000 So you lay down to sleep and you just wake up and you're just are there more pythons in the Everglades than there are anywhere in the world?

00:31:39.000 No because there's a half a million of them.

00:31:41.000 They think.

00:31:42.000 Did you ever hear about Snake Island in Brazil?

00:31:44.000 No.

00:31:44.000 Dude, there's an island in Brazil that I guess whatever, you know, tectonic plates or whatever moved.

00:31:49.000 And it used to be connected to the mainland and went out and all the snakes just got stuck on there with no natural predators.

00:31:55.000 So they just eat each other?

00:31:57.000 Yeah, they just fight and eat each other.

00:31:58.000 And there's, dude, there's apparently a snake.

00:32:00.000 Like every meter you move, there's at least one snake.

00:32:03.000 What?

00:32:03.000 Dude, the images are fucking terrifying.

00:32:06.000 They're like just piled on top of each other.

00:32:07.000 There are not more pythons in the Everglades than anywhere else.

00:32:10.000 The Burmese python's native range in Southeast Asia from India to Indonesia supports far larger wild populations.

00:32:17.000 Though exact numbers are hard to quantify due to their vast habitat.

00:32:21.000 Everglades context: Burmese pythons are invasive species.

00:32:24.000 Florida Everglades with estimates ranging from tens of thousands to 300,000.

00:32:29.000 Individuals across southern Florida concentrated in Everglades National Park where their density is notably high.

00:32:36.000 Population exploded from a few snakes in the 90s to enveloping much of the region by the 2020s, driven by the release from pet trade and events like Hurricane Andrew.

00:32:46.000 Yeah, they had Hurricane Andrew apparently blew down a facility where they were studying pythons.

00:32:52.000 No, that's how they got out.

00:32:53.000 A bunch of them got out.

00:32:54.000 And then there's also people with pets, just assholes in death metal bands.

00:32:57.000 Yeah, they just dropped them.

00:32:58.000 Yeah, they just dropped them.

00:32:59.000 That's how we there's what I call it, parakeets here.

00:33:02.000 They're like, they're an invasive species, and they think that happened too.

00:33:04.000 Someone just like let their parakeets.

00:33:06.000 Now they're a problem here.

00:33:07.000 That's iguanas in Florida, too.

00:33:09.000 You know, they sell canned iguana meat in Florida now.

00:33:12.000 Really?

00:33:13.000 Yeah, a buddy of mine lives in Florida.

00:33:14.000 He just sent me this.

00:33:15.000 He sent me, he was at the supermarket, and they have iguana meat.

00:33:22.000 Probably not bad.

00:33:23.000 Dude, I'm telling you, the Snake Island, I was like, I thought it was fake.

00:33:28.000 My wife was telling me about it.

00:33:29.000 I'm like, dude, you got tricked.

00:33:30.000 This has to be AI.

00:33:31.000 I looked it up and it's like, it's a real thing.

00:33:33.000 Let me see that iguana meat.

00:33:34.000 Yeah, I'm saying that.

00:33:35.000 It would probably be good.

00:33:35.000 I've eaten Gator before.

00:33:36.000 Gator is not bad.

00:33:37.000 This might be fake.

00:33:38.000 I think it is.

00:33:40.000 Googling it.

00:33:40.000 God damn it.

00:33:41.000 There's a pizza restaurant that got in trouble for serving it.

00:33:44.000 Really?

00:33:45.000 But nothing else is popping up about cameras.

00:33:47.000 They got in trouble for serving it?

00:33:49.000 Did they tell people they were serving it?

00:33:50.000 I don't think so.

00:33:51.000 You know, because people eat them, they hunt them and eat them all the time.

00:33:54.000 I was watching a YouTube video the other day where this guy was making like stir-fried iguana meat.

00:33:59.000 Well, they get massive.

00:34:00.000 They get massive.

00:34:01.000 And they apparently taste good.

00:34:01.000 Yeah.

00:34:03.000 Probably.

00:34:04.000 They're aggressive, too.

00:34:05.000 If you see them in the wild, they'll like charge after you.

00:34:07.000 They're nasty, man.

00:34:08.000 They're big.

00:34:09.000 Yeah.

00:34:09.000 They're pretty like four or five feet long.

00:34:12.000 Those are nuts.

00:34:12.000 Yeah, they're huge.

00:34:13.000 That was another animal I encountered in Turks and Caicos.

00:34:15.000 We did the shark swimming, and I was like, all right, I let them get out of the way.

00:34:19.000 And then we went to this island that was just full of iguanas and they'll just run up on you.

00:34:22.000 Do you know in Florida when it gets really cold, they just fall out of trees?

00:34:25.000 No, that's hilarious.

00:34:27.000 Because sometimes Florida, it'll dip.

00:34:29.000 It'll get into the 30s.

00:34:30.000 And these fuckers just fall out of the trees.

00:34:32.000 They're just stoned.

00:34:33.000 They just freeze and just freeze.

00:34:35.000 And then they thaw out and come back to life.

00:34:37.000 What?

00:34:37.000 Yeah.

00:34:38.000 Fuck.

00:34:38.000 That's an ancient species.

00:34:41.000 Like, these are ancient creatures.

00:34:42.000 Damn.

00:34:43.000 So I thought they need the, like, they're cold-blooded and they die.

00:34:46.000 So they can just, I guess they can just chill.

00:34:48.000 Well, so are alligators.

00:34:49.000 And alligators freeze in lakes sometimes with their mouths above the water.

00:34:54.000 They have their nose and their eyes above the water and they just, they're frozen.

00:34:57.000 There's a bunch of images of these guys frozen in lakes.

00:35:01.000 I guess everything just slows down and they just chill.

00:35:03.000 They don't have to eat for a year.

00:35:05.000 What?

00:35:06.000 Yeah, they can go without eating for a whole year.

00:35:08.000 So how much do you think we really have to eat?

00:35:10.000 If alligators, bears don't have to eat all winter, alligators can go one year.

00:35:14.000 Like, do you think I always think, like, do we have to eat every day?

00:35:17.000 Well, we definitely eat more than any people have ever had except like royals.

00:35:22.000 Yeah.

00:35:22.000 You know, that's why people are so tiny.

00:35:24.000 Like, you go back to like the Civil War, the average man was like 130 pounds.

00:35:27.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

00:35:29.000 Yeah, because nobody had any food.

00:35:31.000 You know, nobody had any protein.

00:35:32.000 Yeah.

00:35:33.000 But if you think about how much we eat morning, noon, and then evening, hunter-gatherers, they got a meal a day.

00:35:43.000 Yeah.

00:35:44.000 You know, like if you got lucky, you had a meal and you ate as much as you could because there's no way to preserve it.

00:35:49.000 And then you went out the next day and hoped you got another animal.

00:35:51.000 Yeah, that's kind of wild.

00:35:53.000 You spent like 6,000 calories a day just trying to get one meal.

00:35:57.000 Yeah, and then other than like drying your meat out, there's no way to preserve it.

00:36:01.000 So they would make jerky or, you know, like I know in Mexico, some friends of mine went down there and they have this traditional way of taking buffalo and they slice it like really, really thin and then they hang it on like a clothes hanger and dry it out.

00:36:17.000 Really?

00:36:18.000 That's all we need to do.

00:36:19.000 Well, that's what they had to do.

00:36:20.000 They had to figure out how to dry stuff because, you know, there's no refrigeration.

00:36:24.000 Man, how fucking hard life must have been with no refrigeration?

00:36:27.000 Dude, it would suck so bad.

00:36:29.000 Sucks so bad, man.

00:36:31.000 I mean, that's like when you go back to the turn of the century, all the diseases that were happening in America, just think about it.

00:36:36.000 No running water.

00:36:37.000 Everybody's like shitting in holes in the ground outside the houses.

00:36:41.000 There's no ventilation.

00:36:43.000 There's no air conditioning.

00:36:45.000 Oh, yeah, you were.

00:36:46.000 No vitamins.

00:36:47.000 Especially here.

00:36:47.000 How do people live in Texas?

00:36:49.000 Hard.

00:36:50.000 I've been reading.

00:36:51.000 It must have been crazy.

00:36:52.000 Hard people.

00:36:53.000 Yeah.

00:36:54.000 Hard fucking people.

00:36:55.000 I've been reading Western.

00:36:56.000 I'm reading Lonesome Dove right now.

00:36:58.000 It's like an old classic Western, and they just talk about how hot they are all day long.

00:37:03.000 It's just dust in their face.

00:37:04.000 And it's like, dude, that shit would suck.

00:37:06.000 Especially if you don't live near a lake so you can cool off a little bit.

00:37:09.000 Yeah.

00:37:09.000 Oh, no.

00:37:10.000 There's like, yeah, they have like a spring house.

00:37:11.000 And every time they got to get water, there's just rattlesnakes everywhere near the spring house.

00:37:15.000 And it's like, dude, that sucks so bad.

00:37:17.000 There's a great book about Texas called Empire of the Summer Moon.

00:37:21.000 Oh.

00:37:22.000 I've heard of that before.

00:37:23.000 About the settlers encountering the Comanche.

00:37:26.000 You got to think, like, if the Comanche, if this is where they lived and they lived here year-round, like, they had to be the hardest fucking people in the world.

00:37:33.000 That would be brutal.

00:37:33.000 Yeah, dude.

00:37:34.000 Just had to be fucking, just tough as fuck.

00:37:38.000 Especially when it gets like freezing, too.

00:37:39.000 They have like that two weeks where it's super cold.

00:37:41.000 And yeah, that would be.

00:37:42.000 Yep.

00:37:42.000 You never know when it's coming back then either.

00:37:45.000 Like Texas, like right now it's 80.

00:37:45.000 You couldn't prepare.

00:37:48.000 Two weeks ago, it was 30.

00:37:49.000 Before that, it was 20.

00:37:51.000 Before that, it was 70.

00:37:52.000 Like, you don't know when it's coming.

00:37:54.000 No.

00:37:56.000 I've been here for two years, and I know we're going to get like a solid collective week of real winter.

00:38:02.000 And the rest of it's just like 50, 60, 70, 80, 20, 40.

00:38:05.000 It's worth it.

00:38:05.000 Yeah, it's kind of cool.

00:38:06.000 I think it's perfect because it gives you just enough cold so you appreciate the warm, just enough, but nothing like where you want to kill yourself.

00:38:13.000 Yeah, I agree.

00:38:14.000 Nothing like there's, you know, Montana winters and Wyoming winters where they last like seven months.

00:38:19.000 You're like, I don't know if I want to do it.

00:38:22.000 Even regular East Coast winter, I couldn't handle it.

00:38:24.000 By the time I had left, like, you don't feel the sun for like at least three months.

00:38:28.000 And I remember spring, it would finally like come out and it's like, that messes me up.

00:38:32.000 Like, I need, I'd rather it be super hot and sunny than be cold.

00:38:36.000 Because you can just like, you know, just figure out jump in a lake, jump in a pool.

00:38:36.000 Yeah.

00:38:39.000 You can go ahead and do that.

00:38:40.000 You know, that's what flu season is all about, too.

00:38:42.000 What?

00:38:43.000 It's not like the flu emerges in the winter.

00:38:46.000 It's just everybody's immune system's low.

00:38:48.000 No one has any vitamin D.

00:38:50.000 A buddy of mine who was a doctor said that he would do tests on people in New York City.

00:38:54.000 And he said so many people would come into his practice that had undetectable levels of vitamin D. What?

00:38:59.000 Yeah, because they weren't supplementing at all.

00:39:01.000 And they were wearing winter clothes and they were never outside.

00:39:04.000 And everybody's sick and they don't know why.

00:39:06.000 Well, you're vitamin D depleted.

00:39:08.000 That's why in Seattle they have a lot of people go in tanning beds and shit.

00:39:08.000 Yeah.

00:39:12.000 They try to like do something.

00:39:14.000 Oh, just to get people.

00:39:15.000 Because tanning beds will give you a natural dose of vitamin D. That's kind of nice.

00:39:19.000 Yeah.

00:39:20.000 Apparently, isn't it like a hormone more than a vitamin?

00:39:23.000 Yeah, that's what I heard.

00:39:24.000 It's like not even just like, you know, vitamin A or BSV.

00:39:26.000 It's like something you absolutely need big time.

00:39:29.000 Yeah, a lot of people are saying you should hyperdose it too.

00:39:32.000 Like, because the USDA recommended is like 5,000 milligrams.

00:39:37.000 A lot of people are saying like 30,000 is what they take every day.

00:39:41.000 Yeah, I had to do that for a while because I had low vitamin D, and they were like, you can take as much of this as you want.

00:39:45.000 I'm like, so I'm like such a baby with medicine.

00:39:48.000 Like, I'm like super sensitive to it.

00:39:49.000 It did like absolutely no side effects at all.

00:39:52.000 No, it doesn't.

00:39:53.000 But for full absorption, I think you're supposed to take it with a bunch of other stuff.

00:39:57.000 Like, I think the recommended is I take it with K2, vitamin K2, and magnesium.

00:40:03.000 I think there might be one other thing that also helps absorption.

00:40:08.000 But like Dr. Rhonda Patrick was on a podcast recently and she was talking about how vitamin D, someone was taking vitamin D, but they weren't showing any improvement.

00:40:16.000 She's like, where are you taking it with magnesium?

00:40:18.000 So magnesium apparently helps vitamin D get absorbed in your butt.

00:40:22.000 Like there's a bunch of those things that like works.

00:40:24.000 Like if you, if you take them without any fat or any food, they're not good.

00:40:28.000 But then like amino acids, you have to take them on an empty stomach.

00:40:31.000 It's like, you got to know what you're doing.

00:40:32.000 That's true.

00:40:33.000 Yeah, I have like a paste.

00:40:34.000 It's like a goop that's like fatty and I just put it on a spoon and take it.

00:40:37.000 What is it?

00:40:37.000 Just vitamin D?

00:40:38.000 Yeah, it's vitamin D.

00:40:39.000 It's like a liposomol thing.

00:40:41.000 Oh, you put it on a spoon?

00:40:42.000 Yeah, see, I just eyeball it.

00:40:43.000 I'm like, that's probably about right.

00:40:45.000 I wonder if like liposomol absorbs easier.

00:40:49.000 Isn't that the whole idea about it?

00:40:50.000 It's paired to a fat and it kind of works.

00:40:52.000 I wonder if that you don't need as much, like, or you don't need vitamin D or K2 rather.

00:40:52.000 Right.

00:40:58.000 Well, I don't know, but I was low and then I'm not now.

00:41:02.000 So I'm like, maybe it worked.

00:41:03.000 Maybe it was a fact I was outside.

00:41:04.000 I don't know.

00:41:05.000 I'm sure it works.

00:41:06.000 Yeah.

00:41:06.000 It's just like, does it work optimally?

00:41:06.000 Yeah.

00:41:08.000 That's the thing.

00:41:09.000 Yeah.

00:41:10.000 It's like just taking it alone is definitely going to be better than not taking it at all.

00:41:13.000 But they think that for maximum absorption.

00:41:16.000 What are the things that you should take with vitamin D for put that in perplexity?

00:41:21.000 The things you take with vitamin D for maximum absorption.

00:41:27.000 It's hard to remember all this stuff, too.

00:41:29.000 That's part of the problem.

00:41:30.000 Like I'll hear it on a podcast.

00:41:31.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah.

00:41:35.000 What the fuck did the fuck did Andrew Huberman say?

00:41:39.000 Yeah, I remember I heard Huberman had this thing about cortisol.

00:41:43.000 He's like, you need to spike your cortisol early in the morning, which I, you know, if I get up and exercise in the morning, like, yeah, that seems true because I feel good.

00:41:50.000 But then I was like, I can't have caffeine anymore.

00:41:52.000 I had to get off completely.

00:41:53.000 Really?

00:41:54.000 Dude, I can't have it.

00:41:55.000 I'm like super sensitive to it.

00:41:57.000 If I had a cup of coffee, what time is it right now?

00:41:59.000 If I had a cup of coffee now at 2 o'clock, I would not sleep till midnight.

00:42:04.000 Is that because you don't drink much of it?

00:42:06.000 You don't metabolize it.

00:42:07.000 Oh, my mom, my dad can drink coffee and fall asleep.

00:42:10.000 But if my mom has coffee, she's, it just, it like you have it, and I can feel it just in my body for hours.

00:42:16.000 And it's just like a non-stop.

00:42:17.000 Like, I love caffeine, the mental effects.

00:42:20.000 My body just can't stand it.

00:42:22.000 Have you ever tried nootropics?

00:42:25.000 Like theanine?

00:42:26.000 Theanine.

00:42:26.000 I've done it all.

00:42:27.000 Acetylcholine.

00:42:28.000 Not acetylcholine, but I've taken L-theanine with it, which helped a little bit, but then I'll just drink more coffee.

00:42:33.000 No, I don't mean with coffee.

00:42:34.000 I mean by itself as like a little bit of a pick-me-up.

00:42:37.000 Oh, yeah.

00:42:38.000 No, I like, yeah, I take L-theanine before I go to sleep.

00:42:41.000 I think it kind of helps me sleep.

00:42:42.000 Yeah, I hear that too, which is interesting because it helps with your memory.

00:42:45.000 Like, how does it help with your memory and also help you go to sleep?

00:42:48.000 I don't know.

00:42:48.000 Here it says, vitamin D is a fat-soluble nutrient, so pairing it with dietary fat maximizes its absorption in the gut.

00:42:55.000 Take vitamin D supplements with a meal containing fats for optimal uptake.

00:42:59.000 Studies show you can boost serum levels by about 50%.

00:43:03.000 Foods like fatty fish, avocados, olive oil, nut seeds, or full-fat yogurt provide these fats effectively.

00:43:09.000 Supportive nutrients, magnesium aids in converting vitamin D to its active form and transporting it in the body.

00:43:15.000 Vitamin K2 works synergistically to direct calcium to bones, enhancing benefits for bone health.

00:43:21.000 Omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil also improve absorption alongside fats.

00:43:26.000 All right, so that's it.

00:43:27.000 So vitamin D you should take with magnesium and K2 and probably some fish oil.

00:43:31.000 Nice.

00:43:32.000 There you go.

00:43:32.000 I was eating it after breakfast, so there we go.

00:43:34.000 I was getting my fats.

00:43:35.000 Yeah.

00:43:36.000 But yeah, the caffeine for me, I can't like, you know, everyone's different, but I can't have it.

00:43:40.000 Like, I have to, I could drink two double espresso and go to sleep.

00:43:43.000 So here's my thing, too.

00:43:43.000 That's crazy.

00:43:44.000 I stopped because I didn't start really drinking caffeine all the time until I had kids.

00:43:49.000 But I like, I don't have dreams at night.

00:43:51.000 If I drink even coffee during like the day, no dreams at night.

00:43:54.000 Really?

00:43:55.000 I don't know what it is, man.

00:43:56.000 I'm super, super sensitive to it.

00:43:58.000 Well, a lot of people that stop smoking weed say that they get wild, crazy dreams.

00:44:03.000 That happens too.

00:44:04.000 That kind of blocks your dreams too.

00:44:05.000 Yeah.

00:44:06.000 But even that, like, I don't know.

00:44:07.000 I smoked weed forever.

00:44:08.000 And like, I would still kind of have dreams, but it's the caffeine just like completely neutralizes them.

00:44:13.000 And then they say that it's like anecdotal, but they say that caffeine, there's anecdotal evidence that it kind of, what is it, like discourages or, you know, whatever it does to your brain.

00:44:23.000 You don't do as much divergent thinking.

00:44:24.000 It's more like convergent.

00:44:25.000 Where like if you need to get like a task, like, all right, I need to edit something.

00:44:29.000 But if you're like, I need to come up with a story idea.

00:44:29.000 Caffeine's great.

00:44:32.000 There's like anecdotal evidence that says like people who are on caffeine report that it like messes up their ability to like just kind of like you know come up with like new or novel ideas.

00:44:42.000 That makes sense.

00:44:43.000 Yeah.

00:44:43.000 Because you're just hyper-focused on the one thing that you're doing.

00:44:46.000 Yeah.

00:44:46.000 Like a low-dose meth.

00:44:47.000 Yeah, pretty much.

00:44:49.000 You're like, my friends that have dated girls that have had problems with amphetamines, one of the things they say is they know when they're on it because then they start cleaning the house.

00:44:58.000 They start cleaning everything.

00:45:00.000 Yeah.

00:45:01.000 They start getting like hyper-focused on like organizing and cleaning.

00:45:05.000 Like, that sounds like a good drug.

00:45:06.000 Yeah, what's that?

00:45:07.000 It's probably a spaz, though.

00:45:09.000 That's probably the backlash.

00:45:10.000 Well, it's probably they're doing it for 12 hours while they're listening to Slayer.

00:45:14.000 Yeah.

00:45:16.000 You're not even talking about Adderall.

00:45:17.000 This is them doing like crystal method thing.

00:45:20.000 He was saying amphetamines.

00:45:20.000 I don't know.

00:45:22.000 I assume it's like meth.

00:45:24.000 Yeah, amphetamine babe would be not ideal, I don't think.

00:45:27.000 Well, I've talked to people that have done meth.

00:45:29.000 They tell you you feel like you're fucking Superman, but you also like want to get things done.

00:45:33.000 Really?

00:45:34.000 Yeah.

00:45:34.000 I've heard that a similar thing about crack where you feel like a genius.

00:45:38.000 You smoke crack, apparently.

00:45:39.000 You're just like, dude, like, why would I have a refrigerator?

00:45:43.000 I can sell it right now and I can just order out to, and like, apparently you're just like the smartest person in your head in the world.

00:45:48.000 Right.

00:45:49.000 And then you just like, it all crashes every 30 minutes.

00:45:51.000 It's like free-based cocaine is what all it is.

00:45:54.000 Like what Richard Pryor was doing back in the day.

00:45:54.000 Yeah.

00:45:57.000 That was just before crack.

00:45:58.000 Yeah.

00:45:58.000 It was free-basing cocaine.

00:46:00.000 Yeah.

00:46:00.000 And it's weird too because I think it just like Coke, I think, just floods your brain.

00:46:04.000 A lot of things just flood your brain with dopamine.

00:46:06.000 Yeah, but the delivery method, apparently, of crack is superior.

00:46:10.000 There's something about smoking it where it just goes right to your head.

00:46:13.000 Well, I know this from Hunter Biden.

00:46:15.000 Because Hunter Biden was on that Channel 5 show when he was talking about it.

00:46:19.000 It's fucking, he was so descriptive of it.

00:46:22.000 It almost made you want to try crack.

00:46:24.000 It was almost like it was like a romantic tale of like a bad romance that he had to get out of.

00:46:31.000 This is a very gentlemanly way to say it's his superior delivery mechanism.

00:46:34.000 Well, he's very smart, right?

00:46:36.000 So he's very articulate.

00:46:37.000 He's talking about like what it was like to smoke crack.

00:46:41.000 And I was like, holy shit, man.

00:46:41.000 Yeah.

00:46:43.000 And I wonder, I guess he's off of it because I guess like, you know, if you started again, it's probably just another.

00:46:49.000 Well, there was that baggie they found at the White House, but first of all, it might have been his.

00:46:55.000 But also, you think he's the only one of those people doing Coke?

00:46:59.000 Yeah, I was about to say that could be anybody.

00:47:01.000 Listen, there's probably a lot of those folks that need a little pick-me-up sometimes for a meeting before they have to do a press thing.

00:47:09.000 You're working 16 hours a day, a little talk.

00:47:09.000 Oh, dude.

00:47:12.000 Big time.

00:47:12.000 Woo!

00:47:13.000 Let's go.

00:47:13.000 I used to work at a real estate company when I was in college.

00:47:16.000 Just, you know, they would like buy apartment buildings.

00:47:18.000 And, dude, all the senior management were like, they used to buy Adderall off me.

00:47:22.000 They would just chomp fucking Adderall.

00:47:24.000 Come in and just be like, they would do sales meetings and just be like, a friend of mine who's a journalist says that all these journalists are on Adderall.

00:47:31.000 Yeah, I believe it.

00:47:32.000 It says it makes you productive.

00:47:33.000 Yeah.

00:47:34.000 They're all doing it.

00:47:35.000 Some of them are like super open about it.

00:47:37.000 Like Dave Portnoy, when he was in here, he was telling us.

00:47:39.000 What did he say he took 30 milligrams?

00:47:42.000 I don't remember, but yeah.

00:47:43.000 It was enough that I was like, yo.

00:47:45.000 And then I had to go to Jamie.

00:47:46.000 How much is that?

00:47:47.000 And Jamie was like, a lot.

00:47:48.000 30s, yeah.

00:47:49.000 30s.

00:47:50.000 That would get you.

00:47:50.000 But not a lot if you do it a lot.

00:47:52.000 Right?

00:47:53.000 Yeah, you would get it.

00:47:54.000 It's like if you're doing edibles with Joey Diaz.

00:47:54.000 That's the thing.

00:47:56.000 Like, how much should I take?

00:47:57.000 Take two, cocksucker.

00:47:59.000 Like, what?

00:48:00.000 Take two.

00:48:01.000 How much do you take?

00:48:04.000 Yeah, that would definitely.

00:48:05.000 I mean, I feel like I can't get a tolerance to eat edibles.

00:48:07.000 They just knock me out every time.

00:48:09.000 Jamie can just eat them and they don't do anything.

00:48:11.000 That's crazy.

00:48:12.000 I know people like that too.

00:48:13.000 They're like, well, I need like 200 milligrams to feel it.

00:48:15.000 I'm like, I'm psychotic.

00:48:17.000 At 200 milligrams, I'm fried.

00:48:19.000 Yeah.

00:48:19.000 It's a lot.

00:48:20.000 200 is a lot.

00:48:21.000 I used to have these lollipops that were 200 milligrams, so I would try to gauge it.

00:48:24.000 Like, I don't want to eat too much of it.

00:48:26.000 And it would just, I would get fucking whacked all the time.

00:48:29.000 So we went over how many people are on Adderall once, like the number of Adderall prescriptions in a year.

00:48:37.000 It was something bonkers.

00:48:39.000 It was like 39 million Adderall prescriptions in this country.

00:48:43.000 But then you have to go, like, how many people is that?

00:48:45.000 Right?

00:48:46.000 Because, like, you refill your prescription.

00:48:47.000 So how often do you refill it?

00:48:49.000 How many times a year?

00:48:51.000 You know what I mean?

00:48:52.000 I think it's more than 39.

00:48:53.000 If that's the case, I feel like there's 39 million subscribers to Adderall.

00:48:56.000 Well, there's definitely people that are getting it other ways.

00:49:00.000 For sure.

00:49:01.000 Yeah.

00:49:02.000 You get your script and you sell it, but it's like...

00:49:04.000 So there were...

00:49:05.000 Not just that.

00:49:06.000 You're getting it illegally.

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 You're getting illegal good and bad.

00:49:10.000 You know, getting cartel stuff.

00:49:12.000 Like pressed and stuff.

00:49:13.000 Yeah, like they can make a valium that looks just like a valium and there's fucking fentanyl in it.

00:49:18.000 Yeah, true.

00:49:19.000 No, that's that's a that like the pill world is they're like completely riddled with that right now.

00:49:23.000 Oh, it's scary, man, because kids are taking these like there was a kid from a local high school around here that I read a story.

00:49:31.000 He took an Adderall.

00:49:32.000 He thought it was an Adderall and it had fentanyl in it.

00:49:34.000 He died.

00:49:34.000 Yeah.

00:49:35.000 Yeah.

00:49:35.000 Got it from one of his friends.

00:49:36.000 He was just trying to cram for studies.

00:49:39.000 Yeah, that's that's why I always tell people, anyone I know does Coke, I'm always like, you got to stop, man.

00:49:43.000 They're like, no, we'll test it.

00:49:45.000 It's like, no, you're not.

00:49:46.000 You're going to be at a bar.

00:49:47.000 You're going to be hammered.

00:49:48.000 You're going to buy Coke and shove it up your nose.

00:49:51.000 I'm going to stop and be like, let me see.

00:49:53.000 I've never done it, but all my friends who have done it have all said the same thing.

00:49:57.000 Don't do it.

00:49:59.000 I've never done it either.

00:50:00.000 I've never had any interest, but it's like every time I'm around people on it, I'm just like, dude, this sucks.

00:50:06.000 Maybe they're having fun, but it's going to sell you Bitcoin.

00:50:09.000 They want to go into business now.

00:50:10.000 Everybody does.

00:50:12.000 They get like super hyped about a project.

00:50:14.000 They want to bring you in.

00:50:15.000 Oh, that's what I think.

00:50:16.000 I guess that's the way it was explained to me.

00:50:18.000 You just feel like you accomplished something major.

00:50:21.000 So you just snore coke and you're like, I am the best ever.

00:50:26.000 I just.

00:50:26.000 I don't know.

00:50:27.000 Yeah.

00:50:28.000 Joey Diaz used to say that you can't go on stage with that.

00:50:31.000 Yeah, I can see that.

00:50:32.000 That's the worst.

00:50:33.000 He goes, you don't have no feeling.

00:50:34.000 You don't feel for the crowd.

00:50:35.000 Yeah.

00:50:36.000 That's how I feel about it.

00:50:36.000 I can't drink and go on stage because I'll just, I'm way too confident.

00:50:40.000 If something doesn't land, I'm like, fucking whatever, pussy.

00:50:42.000 Like, I just don't, I don't care.

00:50:44.000 And I just do so bad.

00:50:46.000 Yeah.

00:50:47.000 It's it's a weird fine dance that people do with substances and performing, especially if you're doing like a speed or something because you can get it wrong.

00:50:47.000 Yeah.

00:50:58.000 I would imagine.

00:50:59.000 Yeah, you can get your balance wrong.

00:51:00.000 I've heard Adderall does not mix with comedy at all.

00:51:03.000 That's what I've heard.

00:51:04.000 I've heard people like, you're just, it's like a weird part of your brain where you're just too lasered in.

00:51:08.000 I've heard people like to use it for writing, though, which I think is weird.

00:51:12.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:51:12.000 I guess.

00:51:13.000 I know they use it for writing books.

00:51:15.000 I don't know if it would be the same for writing comedy.

00:51:18.000 Because, you know, you're talking about like coming up with ideas.

00:51:21.000 Like, you'd imagine that would be the coffee thing on steroids.

00:51:24.000 Yeah.

00:51:25.000 Right.

00:51:26.000 For me, for writing, like, I like to write.

00:51:28.000 I like to do other stuff.

00:51:28.000 I write books.

00:51:30.000 Writing stand-up is more like it has to just pop into my head and I go like, oh, that would be funny.

00:51:34.000 And then I, you know, if I start fleshing out, like, new ideas come.

00:51:36.000 But I've tried to like write stand-up, and it never, it, like, very rarely do I get anything that like works when I do that.

00:51:44.000 Yeah, me too.

00:51:45.000 But what I do is I write essays.

00:51:47.000 I just like essays on a subject.

00:51:50.000 And then from that, I'll extract little things.

00:51:52.000 That's a good idea.

00:51:53.000 And then I take that little thing and I say, how do I introduce this thing?

00:51:56.000 And what is what would be funny about this thing?

00:51:58.000 And how would I lead into this?

00:51:59.000 And what are the other like surrounding things that would go with this?

00:52:03.000 No, that's that's a good way to do it.

00:52:04.000 I have to, I have to trick myself into being like I'm memorizing my material, so I just bullet point it, and then I get bored and my mind wanders.

00:52:10.000 I'm like, that would actually be pretty funny.

00:52:12.000 And then you start rambling.

00:52:12.000 Right.

00:52:14.000 Yeah, that's the thing about the essay.

00:52:15.000 That if you just sit down and write a sub, you know, about a subject, whatever that subject is, that you just start thinking about all the different aspects of that subject instead of thinking how to write in comedy form.

00:52:28.000 Yeah.

00:52:28.000 No, that's a smart idea because, yeah, if I try to write it, then like you try to repeat it, but you wrote it down so that it sounds like a written thing.

00:52:35.000 And it's like.

00:52:36.000 But even that in the essay way, it's a brutal process because then you have to take that one sentence or that one paragraph in a thousand words and then figure out a way to introduce that where it's not clunky.

00:52:48.000 Yeah.

00:52:49.000 And then figure out what's the funniest part about it.

00:52:52.000 And it's like you have to always know that the first time you bring it out there, it's going to suck.

00:52:57.000 And you have to just slowly but surely trust it to get better and just throw it into the fire every night.

00:52:57.000 Yeah.

00:53:05.000 Yeah.

00:53:06.000 You have your bits that you know are going to kill and you're like, I don't want to trot that one out here.

00:53:10.000 I know.

00:53:11.000 That is the, it kind of is the funnest part though to me.

00:53:13.000 Like when I moved here, I had just, I think, yeah, I think I had just put out an hour or like recorded.

00:53:19.000 So I had no, I had to like start with like new material, which sucks.

00:53:23.000 You move somewhere, you have new stuff, and you're like, dude, I have only new shit.

00:53:26.000 It's a bad feeling, but it's like, it's exciting because you're like, you don't know how it's going to go every night.

00:53:30.000 I don't know.

00:53:31.000 I like, I like that.

00:53:32.000 I think it's good.

00:53:33.000 I think it's like we were talking the other day about loss, about failure.

00:53:38.000 Like I was talking with Michael Malice about bombing on stage.

00:53:41.000 I think bombing is good because what happens if you bomb that feeling, you feel terrible the next day, you feel terrible that night.

00:53:48.000 And then you're like, I got to fucking get back on stage and really like tighten up my shit.

00:53:54.000 And I always have in the past made big leaps after I bombed.

00:53:59.000 I'm like, I think it's important.

00:54:00.000 Like failure is important.

00:54:02.000 It sucks.

00:54:03.000 You don't like it, but you got to go through that.

00:54:05.000 Like maybe you got overconfident or maybe you were in a bad mood or maybe it was like whatever.

00:54:11.000 Yeah.

00:54:12.000 No, it helps.

00:54:13.000 That's what like motivates me to write stand-up.

00:54:15.000 If I bomb, I'm like, all right, now let me let me like dial it in.

00:54:18.000 Because I have like, I'm always doing a bunch of stuff and like, I'm like, oh, I got a show.

00:54:22.000 And I like, you know, organize kind of against the gun.

00:54:25.000 But yeah, a good, a bomb really is like a clarifying, it's good for you, honestly.

00:54:29.000 Yes.

00:54:30.000 It's good to have a bomb.

00:54:31.000 Well, I used to say that to fighters too.

00:54:32.000 You lose a fight.

00:54:33.000 It's good.

00:54:34.000 As long as you get really hurt.

00:54:35.000 It's good because you like that feeling.

00:54:37.000 Go home with that feeling and think about all the stones that you left unturned, all the times we skipped road work, all the times we skipped strength and conditioning, all the times you're half-assing it in the gym.

00:54:49.000 That guy didn't do that.

00:54:50.000 He just beat you.

00:54:51.000 Now you know.

00:54:53.000 You have to understand that there's levels to these.

00:54:56.000 There's levels to dedication.

00:54:57.000 There's levels to competency.

00:55:00.000 And a good loss is good for you.

00:55:03.000 Yeah.

00:55:03.000 It kind of like, you know, again, if you have your tried and true and you're just going on stage, yeah, it's working night after night.

00:55:08.000 You just go home, you're like, oh, whatever.

00:55:10.000 But yeah, when you bomb, like for me, it does something in my brain where my thoughts start flying.

00:55:15.000 Whatever that is just helps me get stuff out there.

00:55:17.000 Well, when I lived in Boston, one of the things that was a real problem was there was these local headliners that had these fucking acts, man.

00:55:25.000 They had 45 minutes of like hammered samurai sword.

00:55:31.000 It was so good because they had been doing that 45 minutes for a decade and a half.

00:55:35.000 It's crazy, dude.

00:55:36.000 It was so good.

00:55:37.000 Their timing was so good.

00:55:40.000 The pacing was so good.

00:55:41.000 They would crush every night.

00:55:43.000 But after a while, they never added anything new to it.

00:55:47.000 And these guys just like, a buddy of mine went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from, like Fitzsimmons, went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from the 80s.

00:55:57.000 And he goes, dude, he was doing the same material.

00:55:59.000 He goes, it was so sad.

00:56:01.000 He goes, he was just phoning it in.

00:56:04.000 It was barely getting a response from the audience.

00:56:06.000 It was like dated references.

00:56:08.000 Because this guy just had an act and like a fucking guy who shows up at the office, he would open up his suitcase, pull his act out.

00:56:17.000 That was his act.

00:56:18.000 Those guys are always fascinating because when you're like, you know, I started in Philly and like, so like the only, the first like paid gigs you get as an open micer are like, you do like moose lodges and shit for like 50 bucks.

00:56:28.000 And it's always one of those like wacko headliners.

00:56:31.000 Who's been around for 30 years?

00:56:32.000 He's doing it forever.

00:56:33.000 He's giving you the career talk in between the show.

00:56:35.000 There's like, I would get like comedy magicians all the time.

00:56:38.000 And dude, it was like, yeah, those, those guys would always kind of freak me out.

00:56:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:56:41.000 Like, I would open for guys that would talk about like floppy disks in like the 2000s that I've done for like, what are you doing, man?

00:56:47.000 Like, we don't have CDs anymore.

00:56:52.000 This guy talked about porn on a floppy disc on stage.

00:56:55.000 Dude, it was fucking Screech.

00:56:56.000 R.I.P. It was Screech.

00:56:57.000 Screech.

00:56:58.000 R.I.P. I opened for Screech back in the day, and I was like, fuck yes, this is going to be awesome.

00:57:03.000 He was killing it in the comedy clubs.

00:57:05.000 He was like one of the first people to go from being on a sitcom to touring on the road.

00:57:10.000 Yeah, I caught late Screech, though.

00:57:12.000 Skippy.

00:57:13.000 Remember Skippy from Family Matters?

00:57:15.000 Was it Family Matters?

00:57:16.000 Is that what his name?

00:57:17.000 What was it from?

00:57:17.000 What was the show?

00:57:19.000 Skippy.

00:57:20.000 He was another guy who was on a sitcom.

00:57:24.000 Was he on, not step-by-step?

00:57:26.000 But he was the same thing.

00:57:26.000 I don't remember.

00:57:28.000 He was a whole thing.

00:57:30.000 Hollywood didn't work out for him.

00:57:32.000 Family ties.

00:57:34.000 With Michael J. Fox?

00:57:36.000 Yeah.

00:57:37.000 So that guy was headlining comedy clubs all over the place.

00:57:41.000 This was like a bar in Delaware.

00:57:43.000 This was not a glamorous gig.

00:57:44.000 Whoa.

00:57:45.000 It was bad.

00:57:46.000 This was, I graduated college in 2009.

00:57:51.000 It would have been like 2012, maybe.

00:57:54.000 So this was like late.

00:57:55.000 This was like late Screech.

00:57:56.000 And the whole time he's on stage, people going, Screech.

00:57:59.000 And he would just, it fucking made him so mad.

00:58:02.000 But I remember it was a funny show because it was supposed to be a lady.

00:58:05.000 It was supposed to host.

00:58:07.000 I was going to feature.

00:58:08.000 It's going to be Screech as a headliner.

00:58:10.000 And the guy who owned the venue just wanted to fuck this lady so bad that he was like, hey, I'm letting that lady feature.

00:58:16.000 You're going to host.

00:58:17.000 And he was like, I'll pay you the same price.

00:58:19.000 And I was like, yeah, whatever.

00:58:20.000 I don't give a shit.

00:58:21.000 So he paid me.

00:58:21.000 And I had been, you know, I've been doing stand-up for a couple of years.

00:58:23.000 So I was like kind of sharp, you know, especially for like that bar show.

00:58:27.000 And this lady, she had never done stand-up before.

00:58:30.000 This was her first time.

00:58:33.000 This guy fucked her over.

00:58:34.000 He thought he was doing something nice for her.

00:58:36.000 She sat there for all the 20 minutes and read out of a giant notebook and just fucking completely in horrific, like a first time stand-up doing 20 minutes, completely bombed.

00:58:47.000 Screech was in the back with me and he's like, the fuck is this?

00:58:50.000 Remember, he was like bragging being like, dude, they gave me eight grand.

00:58:53.000 I don't give a fuck about this show.

00:58:55.000 I know a few guys who, their girlfriend, started doing comedy and then the girlfriend started opening for them.

00:59:00.000 And it was just wild.

00:59:02.000 For her sake.

00:59:03.000 Because you can't do that.

00:59:04.000 No.

00:59:04.000 That's such a bad idea.

00:59:06.000 And these guys were like competent headliners.

00:59:06.000 It's so crazy.

00:59:08.000 So the people were coming to see them.

00:59:09.000 They're excited.

00:59:10.000 Hey, we're going to go laugh.

00:59:12.000 Have a good time.

00:59:12.000 Nope.

00:59:13.000 No.

00:59:13.000 You're going to get tortured for 20 minutes before you get to laugh.

00:59:17.000 Also, that's not going to help him either.

00:59:19.000 She's going to be furious.

00:59:21.000 I don't know why people do that.

00:59:23.000 Like, help me.

00:59:23.000 They want to do it.

00:59:24.000 Help me.

00:59:25.000 That's one thing that happens a lot with comedy couples.

00:59:28.000 Like one of the couples will help the other one write.

00:59:30.000 Yeah.

00:59:31.000 Writing's one thing, but like, and it's that's why they want to do it.

00:59:31.000 Okay.

00:59:35.000 It's like they want to hook up with a headliner, whether it's a guy or a girl.

00:59:37.000 Yeah.

00:59:38.000 You hook up with a headliner, he or she helps you with your act, and then you go back.

00:59:43.000 And you know, it's also impossible, though, because if you're dating a comic and then you book your own opener, you can't be like, ah, next time, I got you next time.

00:59:51.000 You have to flat out be like, no, I'm not.

00:59:53.000 You're not doing this.

00:59:54.000 Right.

00:59:55.000 And then you break up.

00:59:56.000 Yeah.

00:59:57.000 But if you really care about their comedy, you'd be like, bro, you got to go to the open mics and, you know.

01:00:02.000 Yeah, doing it in front of a sold-out show when you're just starting out is a crazy idea.

01:00:07.000 I couldn't imagine.

01:00:08.000 I literally couldn't imagine.

01:00:09.000 It would have messed me up.

01:00:10.000 Well, that's why Kill Tony is so nuts.

01:00:12.000 Yeah.

01:00:13.000 Like, there are people.

01:00:14.000 There are people who have gone on for their first time ever in Madison Square Garden to a sold-out arena of 16,000 people.

01:00:24.000 And then it's filmed for what, like a couple million people.

01:00:28.000 It's like millions of people.

01:00:30.000 You're out there eating dick.

01:00:31.000 That must feel crazy waking up the next morning.

01:00:33.000 Yeah, just like if you go to sleep.

01:00:36.000 Let's imagine that you can go to sleep.

01:00:38.000 If I flub a word, I don't go to sleep.

01:00:41.000 They can go to sleep after that.

01:00:43.000 Yeah, you're essentially filming a one-minute special the first time the first time you do it on Netflix.

01:00:49.000 God damn.

01:00:51.000 Or on YouTube.

01:00:52.000 I mean, both of them are getting fucking millions of views.

01:00:55.000 I know.

01:00:56.000 Dude, I'd be so scared to do that.

01:01:00.000 The people who can do that, I'm like, that's amazing.

01:01:02.000 They go out there and crazy.

01:01:04.000 True.

01:01:06.000 That's actually true.

01:01:08.000 Some of the people, when you're interviewing them after they do the set, like I go, is this guy been screened?

01:01:15.000 Do we need to make sure he doesn't have a fucking knife on him?

01:01:17.000 They do need that airport fucking.

01:01:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:19.000 Oh, 100%.

01:01:20.000 Some of these people are out of their fucking mind.

01:01:22.000 I always wanted to hang in the bar, like the holding tank where everyone is because that's got to be the craziest vibe in there.

01:01:28.000 Well, you remember Open Mic Nights.

01:01:30.000 Open Mic Night at the comedy store in particular was always so nuts.

01:01:30.000 Yeah, true.

01:01:35.000 It was just a complete lunatic asylum.

01:01:35.000 Yeah.

01:01:38.000 For realistic.

01:01:40.000 There's this one guy, Robert William Aprovaya, and he would come there everywhere.

01:01:43.000 He's a really nice guy.

01:01:45.000 And all of his act was about marijuana.

01:01:48.000 And he, at one point in time, was a lawyer and then, I guess, blew a fuse and then just was doing comedy.

01:01:56.000 But he would walk from downtown.

01:01:58.000 He lived in a flop house in downtown and it would take him hours.

01:02:01.000 He would walk from downtown to the comedy store.

01:02:04.000 And when it rained out, the way he would deal with the rain is he would take plastic grocery bags and tuck them inside of all of his clothing.

01:02:14.000 So he'd wrap them around his body.

01:02:16.000 So he had his clothing on the outside and these plastic bags all over his body.

01:02:23.000 That's so fucking funny.

01:02:24.000 The clothes were on the outside.

01:02:25.000 Yeah.

01:02:26.000 So he let his clothes get wet, but his body would be dry.

01:02:28.000 Well, he couldn't figure out how to put it all outside of him.

01:02:31.000 So his solution was just cover his skin and keep him from getting wet and cold, which I guess would work.

01:02:37.000 It'd probably keep you sweaty, too.

01:02:38.000 Yeah, you'd sweat, yeah.

01:02:39.000 Yeah.

01:02:40.000 So he was like a staple and he would go there every night late at night and he would be like one of the last guys up at open mic night every week.

01:02:48.000 Yeah.

01:02:48.000 Whoa.

01:02:49.000 And just was insane.

01:02:50.000 Like you couldn't, you couldn't shake your hand.

01:02:52.000 Couldn't touch him.

01:02:53.000 He was always nervous that everybody hated him.

01:02:55.000 And so he'd like be scared.

01:02:56.000 And I became friends with him.

01:02:57.000 So he was cool with me.

01:02:58.000 I'd talk to him.

01:02:59.000 But like one time I tried to give him knuckles.

01:03:01.000 I'm like, I saw I forgot.

01:03:02.000 He just wouldn't.

01:03:04.000 Yeah.

01:03:05.000 He would like mumble and look at the ground like, sorry.

01:03:07.000 Yeah.

01:03:08.000 He was legitimately cooked.

01:03:10.000 Yeah, he was like, whatever.

01:03:11.000 Whatever was going on.

01:03:12.000 Ah, fuck.

01:03:13.000 But he was a lawyer.

01:03:13.000 Yeah.

01:03:15.000 And he just blew a fuse.

01:03:17.000 Jesus Christ.

01:03:18.000 It happens.

01:03:19.000 Yeah, it does.

01:03:19.000 No, there's no.

01:03:21.000 Forget, like, well, at least I did because I, you know, doing the open mics, it's like it is like a complete freak factory.

01:03:26.000 A freak factory, you're like, it's steeped in that so much for years.

01:03:30.000 And then I remember like when I finally stopped going to open mics all the time, I was still in Philly and I like just took a break from the open mics.

01:03:37.000 I would go do shows and I was like, let me go to the open mic.

01:03:40.000 It'd been like six months and I was like, I'll go to one, try stuff out.

01:03:43.000 I like got in, you know, I'm sitting behind the area.

01:03:45.000 I was in like Philly Helium, just sitting there at the open mic, and I just got like right away, guys, like, dude, look at him, he fucking saw that.

01:03:51.000 And it was just like all these people.

01:03:52.000 I'm like, oh, this was like the worst environment you can possibly be in.

01:03:56.000 It was just, everyone was like, this guy's a fucking piece of shit.

01:03:58.000 And everyone's so fucking angry.

01:03:58.000 I hate this guy.

01:04:00.000 And just everyone's so charged on adrenaline all the time.

01:04:03.000 They're also like on the outside of this thing that they want to do, this dream, and they get to try it.

01:04:11.000 Like a regular person with no training, no schooling, no nothing.

01:04:16.000 You get to stand on that stage with a microphone.

01:04:19.000 I went down a rabbit hole the other night and I was watching open mic nights from Long Island.

01:04:23.000 Oh, fuck, dude.

01:04:26.000 It was so crazy.

01:04:29.000 That would be fun, though.

01:04:30.000 It's so crazy watching someone that definitely shouldn't be doing comedy that's trying comedy for the first time.

01:04:36.000 And I was, you know, it was one of those dumb things.

01:04:39.000 It was like midnight, like, well, let me see me.

01:04:43.000 And they have a film.

01:04:44.000 It's all kinds of stuff.

01:04:46.000 Basically, you find anything online.

01:04:48.000 And I started watching.

01:04:50.000 I can only watch for so long and then I get anxiety.

01:04:53.000 Yeah.

01:04:53.000 Shut it off.

01:04:54.000 That was like when you do open mics and you finally do like a showcase and you invite your friends or your family to watch.

01:04:59.000 And they're just like, what the fuck are you doing?

01:05:01.000 Who are these people?

01:05:02.000 You're like, they're my friends.

01:05:04.000 I brought some of my friends the first time I ever went on stage.

01:05:08.000 I didn't want to do it by myself.

01:05:09.000 That was the opposite.

01:05:10.000 I didn't want anyone to see me for a long time.

01:05:13.000 Yeah.

01:05:14.000 And I did a show one time because I have a big family.

01:05:16.000 So I did a show in this place, a Raven Lounge in Philly.

01:05:18.000 It was like awesome.

01:05:19.000 Like when we started.

01:05:20.000 Tiny little black box thing in the top of a bar.

01:05:23.000 It fit maybe like 25 people.

01:05:25.000 And I have a big family.

01:05:26.000 So I finally was like, all right, I'm going to invite my family out.

01:05:29.000 Dude, I remember I was on stage and I knew like 17 out of the 25 people.

01:05:32.000 And I was like, dude, fucking kill me right now.

01:05:35.000 It sucks.

01:05:36.000 And they're staring at you like this.

01:05:37.000 I just saw my aunt in the front and it's like looking at me and I was like, no.

01:05:40.000 Watching you choke.

01:05:42.000 Watching you bomb.

01:05:46.000 For them.

01:05:46.000 They were the audience.

01:05:47.000 I'm like, fuck.

01:05:49.000 But that's, you know, the only way it's like, I know some people that have taken comedy classes and then that has kind of got them into stand-up.

01:05:59.000 Yeah, that's this is a function of comedy classes and that function is like it gets you to try it.

01:06:05.000 I don't think anybody, maybe there's a few out people out there that are like legit comics that are teaching them, but for the most part, not.

01:06:14.000 So we had a comedy class at Helium.

01:06:16.000 And the thing was, if you won the, if you took the comedy class, it let you in the comedy classes contest, then you can compete with the other people in the class.

01:06:24.000 And if you won that, you got the hosting gig at Helium.

01:06:27.000 And it was, it was a sweet deal, but it was so hard to get into Helium.

01:06:30.000 So I had done stand-up for a while.

01:06:32.000 And when I got back into it, I was like, fuck it.

01:06:32.000 I took time off.

01:06:34.000 I'm taking that comedy class.

01:06:35.000 I'm going to try to fast track myself into host.

01:06:37.000 So I won the comedy class contest.

01:06:40.000 And then I got into Philly's Funniest.

01:06:41.000 When I won Philly's Funniest, I got, you know, they're like, the improv theater across the street was like, we'll let you host a comedy class and we'll give you like 35 bucks an hour.

01:06:51.000 Dude, I had like no health care.

01:06:52.000 I had nothing.

01:06:53.000 I was like, absolutely, let's do it.

01:06:54.000 So I had a comedy class and they showed up and I was like, all right, never take a comedy class ever again.

01:07:00.000 I was like, don't ever do this ever again.

01:07:02.000 This is so dumb you guys did this, but we're just going to run this as an open mic.

01:07:05.000 And I was like, get up there.

01:07:06.000 And I had them all go up and just do like five, you know, it was just an open mic.

01:07:09.000 Well, that will work.

01:07:10.000 Yeah, that's what I try to tell them.

01:07:12.000 That's what I try to tell them.

01:07:12.000 Yeah.

01:07:13.000 But the one I was at was like real sketchy, man.

01:07:16.000 It was very much like, I'm about to blow up.

01:07:19.000 I'm taking you guys with me.

01:07:20.000 This is how it's done.

01:07:22.000 And you get out of it and you go, this is a motherfucker, bro.

01:07:24.000 I got deals in development, blah, blah, blah.

01:07:27.000 It was fucking bullshit, bro.

01:07:28.000 There's so many of those guys.

01:07:29.000 I got blacklisted from Helium because they found out I had a comedy class, which wasn't even a, it was a fake comedy class.

01:07:34.000 I just wanted the money for it.

01:07:36.000 Did you try to tell them?

01:07:37.000 Yeah, I told the owner.

01:07:38.000 I was like, bro, what are we doing?

01:07:39.000 He's like, look, man, just chill.

01:07:40.000 And I was like, can I do the open mic still?

01:07:42.000 He's like, you can do the open mic.

01:07:43.000 And the guy found out I was on the open mic and they booted me off that for like a month.

01:07:47.000 Oh, my God.

01:07:48.000 And I called him like, what the fuck?

01:07:48.000 He was out for blood.

01:07:50.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

01:07:50.000 Because I knew this guy.

01:07:51.000 He's like, well, I didn't call them.

01:07:52.000 I'm like, okay, man.

01:07:53.000 You know, it was like, it was a big thing.

01:07:55.000 Well, there was talk when they were the same people on Cap City here now.

01:07:59.000 There was talk that if you headlined there, you couldn't do my club for three months.

01:08:04.000 And I was like, come on, guys.

01:08:04.000 It's crazy.

01:08:06.000 Why?

01:08:07.000 I go, I said to him, I'm like, if one of my friends is at your club, I'm like, I'll tweet about it.

01:08:14.000 I don't want this to be competition.

01:08:17.000 There's plenty of comedians and there's plenty of audience members for everybody.

01:08:20.000 That's silly.

01:08:21.000 Also, everyone's like, fine.

01:08:22.000 I just, yeah, that's such, that's insane.

01:08:23.000 That's crazy.

01:08:24.000 Yeah, I don't like that.

01:08:25.000 You're a young guy coming up.

01:08:27.000 You're banning him from the club because he's hosting a comedy class for money.

01:08:31.000 Yeah, it was, it was kind of, it was nonsense.

01:08:33.000 Now, you know, now we're.

01:08:34.000 Comedy class is probably going to lead more people to your club.

01:08:37.000 Like, it's all feeds off of itself.

01:08:39.000 I know.

01:08:40.000 And it was literally like, well, you know, maybe the word got out that I was like, never take a comedy class ever again.

01:08:44.000 Why didn't Philly have a guy?

01:08:46.000 Did Peelium have a club?

01:08:47.000 That was the class I took.

01:08:48.000 I took a class at Helium because I wanted to fast track myself to the host.

01:08:52.000 Otherwise, you're going to do Philly's funniest.

01:08:53.000 And then you said it.

01:08:54.000 Yeah, so I was like, those dude.

01:08:56.000 I completely gamed it and I was like, fuck it.

01:08:58.000 Because these are like people who've never done it before.

01:08:59.000 I've done it for years.

01:09:00.000 So I just went and did the class so I could do the contest.

01:09:02.000 Do you ever go back and think about people that you knew in the early days?

01:09:05.000 And you're like, I thought they were going to make it.

01:09:08.000 Yeah, there's a couple people that I was like, this guy's like a celebrity.

01:09:11.000 Like he's, he's got it.

01:09:12.000 And it's just like, I don't know what happened.

01:09:14.000 They just kind of like, I guess, I don't know.

01:09:16.000 It's weird.

01:09:17.000 It is weird.

01:09:18.000 There's a few people that I started out with.

01:09:19.000 I'm like, damn, this dude's talented.

01:09:22.000 Like, there's something there.

01:09:23.000 Oh, no.

01:09:23.000 Yeah, I know.

01:09:24.000 I'm like, I don't think so.

01:09:24.000 It's funny when you said that.

01:09:25.000 Then I'm like, oh, yeah, there was definitely at least one, if not like two or three that I would come, they would do this.

01:09:31.000 But this guy was always on his own time.

01:09:33.000 He would like show up late, just walk on.

01:09:35.000 Like, it was, I think there's some people you just can't keep into like a thing at all, but their personalities are like magnetic.

01:09:41.000 Yeah, there's some people that, for whatever reason, they never figure out how to make a living at it.

01:09:47.000 Yeah.

01:09:47.000 They never like, and then they get bored with it or they get frustrated or something.

01:09:52.000 There's, yeah, I couldn't imagine.

01:09:53.000 Just like the, there was, I'd see people go who would like, you know, everyone bombs when you're starting out at open mics, but there are people that bomb every time for like years and they keep doing it.

01:10:03.000 And you're like, bro, how are you?

01:10:05.000 How do you alive?

01:10:06.000 How are you doing this?

01:10:07.000 I don't have one bad set.

01:10:09.000 I'm like, I'm going to kill myself, dude.

01:10:10.000 I hate this.

01:10:11.000 Some people just don't see it.

01:10:12.000 And that's also, they don't address it.

01:10:15.000 And that's also where they don't get any better.

01:10:17.000 They don't have any self-awareness.

01:10:19.000 Yeah, that could be it.

01:10:20.000 And their perception of how people see them is distorted.

01:10:24.000 Yeah.

01:10:25.000 No, that's kind of scary, actually.

01:10:26.000 Yeah, it's pretty.

01:10:27.000 Plinders up.

01:10:28.000 It's pretty cut and dry, though, when people are silent in front of you.

01:10:31.000 You're like, damn, I suck right now.

01:10:33.000 I should change something.

01:10:36.000 But in the beginning, it's just, it's such a weird.

01:10:39.000 You're basically like running a marathon blindfolded through trees.

01:10:46.000 Finally, when I did a special, I was like, oh, this is the point of it.

01:10:50.000 You have to come up with an hour of stand-up.

01:10:52.000 Before I was just like, I need to have a good five minutes for tonight.

01:10:54.000 And I would just go up and do it and be like, great.

01:10:56.000 And I would just go back home with like no plan or anything.

01:10:59.000 Well, that's a lot of guys who live in cities where you do short sets all the time.

01:11:02.000 Yeah.

01:11:02.000 We were talking about that the other night in the green room.

01:11:04.000 Like some guys who do a lot of like New York City clubs, they have a really good 15 minutes.

01:11:09.000 Let's fucking crush for 15 minutes.

01:11:11.000 But when they have to do an hour, then things get weird because they can't keep the same energy for an hour.

01:11:16.000 It's not, you have to pace it.

01:11:18.000 It has to be hills and valleys.

01:11:19.000 You have to kind of like structure it.

01:11:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:11:21.000 And then they also don't really have the material because they're basically just doing their best 15 minutes all the time.

01:11:27.000 Yeah, true.

01:11:29.000 I had the, I wasn't even really doing stand-up.

01:11:32.000 Me and Shane were doing the podcast, and I was like, I was going to do the podcast.

01:11:35.000 I don't even want to do stand-up anymore.

01:11:37.000 And then he, it was pretty funny behind my back, went to the manager at Helium.

01:11:41.000 He was like, dude, have Matt headline.

01:11:42.000 And I was like, fucking dick.

01:11:44.000 And the guy hit me up.

01:11:45.000 So I started doing that.

01:11:46.000 So I had been like not doing stand-ups.

01:11:48.000 So how long?

01:11:49.000 For like months and months.

01:11:51.000 Maybe a year off.

01:11:52.000 And I had like, you know, I went, you know, it was like I would go and try stuff.

01:11:56.000 So then I started doing, when I first started headlining, I would do an hour, have off for like two months, do an hour somewhere else.

01:12:03.000 It was the most insane.

01:12:04.000 It like really started fucking with me.

01:12:06.000 Did you have recordings to listen to it?

01:12:08.000 Yeah, I would record the audio and I would listen to it.

01:12:10.000 And then I would like jot down notes.

01:12:11.000 And like, it was the most insane way to get back into it.

01:12:14.000 That was the thing that we experienced after COVID.

01:12:17.000 There was a moment where I hadn't done stand-up in like four or five months.

01:12:21.000 Yeah.

01:12:21.000 It was, it felt so weird.

01:12:23.000 And then Houston had stand-up.

01:12:26.000 They had clubs open.

01:12:27.000 And they like space people out and put masks on them.

01:12:29.000 I'm like, this is so ridiculous.

01:12:31.000 Yeah.

01:12:32.000 And we were doing shows inside.

01:12:34.000 And I only did one weekend.

01:12:36.000 And then I got super paranoid.

01:12:38.000 I'm like, what if I give it to someone and they die?

01:12:41.000 Yeah.

01:12:41.000 Why am I being so selfish?

01:12:42.000 I don't want to do these shows.

01:12:44.000 That's why I got to stop.

01:12:45.000 So I had this old lady on the podcast.

01:12:49.000 And my first thought was, what if I have it and I give it to her?

01:12:53.000 Damn, that would suck.

01:12:54.000 I was so freaked out.

01:12:56.000 I didn't have, I wasn't even remotely sick.

01:12:56.000 Yeah.

01:12:58.000 That was what was crazy.

01:12:59.000 Like, it was just a, it was a boogeyman.

01:13:02.000 For sure.

01:13:03.000 It wasn't like, I'm coughing.

01:13:04.000 Maybe I shouldn't come into work.

01:13:06.000 No, it was like, I feel great, but what if I have it?

01:13:08.000 I don't know.

01:13:09.000 I give it to this lady.

01:13:09.000 I know.

01:13:11.000 Dude, I had my first kid, right?

01:13:11.000 Yeah.

01:13:13.000 Like March 2020.

01:13:16.000 So it just, we got out of the hospital and like a week later, I was like holding my face in a grocery store to being like, fuck, what the fuck?

01:13:22.000 Well, at least you could be with her when she gave birth then.

01:13:24.000 Yeah, that was cool.

01:13:25.000 That was what was crazy.

01:13:27.000 Yeah.

01:13:28.000 People were dying alone because you couldn't visit them while they were dying.

01:13:32.000 It was insane, dude.

01:13:33.000 It was, it was like, and luckily, when we went in for our second kid, that was like, it was still kind of in the mix.

01:13:38.000 We were able to go in together, but like our nurse, you know, if we didn't have like our mask on, she was like, I don't know, whatever, I don't care.

01:13:44.000 So people were getting like just like two weeks after we had our kid, people were in there, like, I got to stay home.

01:13:49.000 My wife's in there by herself.

01:13:51.000 And it was like, it's a disaster.

01:13:53.000 But even navigating that was crazy because it was like, you know, I'd tell my wife, like, well, I want to go do this.

01:13:57.000 She's like, well, what if you bring it all to all of us?

01:13:59.000 And I was just, I remember just at one point being like, then we're all going to fucking get it, dude.

01:14:02.000 I don't know.

01:14:02.000 Like, we, I, you know, I think I did the numbers.

01:14:04.000 Like, I think this affects older people or, you know.

01:14:07.000 What time was this?

01:14:08.000 Uh, this would have been March.

01:14:09.000 It would be like March 2020.

01:14:10.000 And then like the next six months, because I would, you know, I would like go try to do stuff.

01:14:14.000 He's like, if you go outside, we're all going to get sick.

01:14:17.000 I was worried about it.

01:14:18.000 I wasn't really confident that people weren't going to get really fucked up by it until like a few of my friends got it and got over it.

01:14:26.000 Yeah.

01:14:26.000 And then my family got it and I didn't get it.

01:14:29.000 And I thought that was crazy because I tried to get it.

01:14:32.000 Like I didn't.

01:14:33.000 I didn't, I hugged my kids.

01:14:34.000 They were laughing.

01:14:35.000 You're going to get COVID.

01:14:36.000 I was like, I'm not going to get it.

01:14:38.000 And part of my head was like, boy, I hope I don't get it.

01:14:41.000 I never got it.

01:14:42.000 I worked out and I didn't feel so good.

01:14:44.000 And I said, let me just go through the paces today.

01:14:47.000 And then I worked out the next day.

01:14:48.000 Same thing.

01:14:49.000 I'm like, I don't feel so good.

01:14:50.000 I feel like weak.

01:14:51.000 So I just, let me do like my kettlebell routine with like 35 pounds, just easy.

01:14:56.000 Don't push it, just a couple sets.

01:14:58.000 And so I did that two days in a row.

01:14:59.000 And then the third day, I went to the gym.

01:15:01.000 I'm like, how do I feel?

01:15:02.000 And I'm like, I feel fucking good.

01:15:04.000 Like, I feel great.

01:15:05.000 Like, nothing feels wrong at all.

01:15:06.000 And I had a full workout and I felt fine.

01:15:08.000 So I was like, all right, I guess I didn't get it.

01:15:10.000 Yeah.

01:15:11.000 And I went and got tested to see if I had antibodies, like if I had recovered from it.

01:15:14.000 Nope.

01:15:15.000 Never got in there.

01:15:16.000 Yeah.

01:15:17.000 I had sex with my wife.

01:15:18.000 That's awesome.

01:15:18.000 She was coughing.

01:15:19.000 That's such a fucking beast move, dude.

01:15:22.000 She was like, You're going to get it.

01:15:23.000 I'm like, let's find out.

01:15:25.000 Let's find out.

01:15:26.000 That is a beast move.

01:15:28.000 I'm like terrible at math, but I remember looking up, like, how likely is it to die from this?

01:15:32.000 And it was like 0.00001 something.

01:15:36.000 I was like, fine, man.

01:15:38.000 But there was so much propaganda.

01:15:40.000 And it was like the thing was, we were in the middle of doing podcasts and we tested everybody when they show up, make sure that nobody has it, tested all of the employees, security guys, everybody that works for me.

01:15:52.000 Everybody got tested every day.

01:15:54.000 We'd show up, we'd be separated.

01:15:55.000 Nurse would come with a mask on, test everybody.

01:15:58.000 And then once we had the results, then we would allow the show to go on.

01:16:01.000 So I was like, I can't fuck this up because if I fuck this up, I fuck this up for everybody.

01:16:06.000 So I got to be careful.

01:16:06.000 Yeah, sure.

01:16:08.000 And I just didn't want my guests.

01:16:09.000 Like, the guests were flying in.

01:16:11.000 They were taking a chance.

01:16:13.000 A lot of them were older, you know, like a lot of professors.

01:16:16.000 You know, they're flying in to do this podcast.

01:16:19.000 And I had to make sure.

01:16:21.000 And then someone ratted us out.

01:16:23.000 So the health department showed up at the studio and they wanted us to have a bag of masks like right when you walk in.

01:16:31.000 So we had to put a bag of masks right there.

01:16:33.000 We had to put a hand sanitizer thing right there and then a sign that says like what you're supposed to do, six-foot distancing, all that shit.

01:16:41.000 I was like, all right.

01:16:42.000 But they were saying that we weren't socially distancing.

01:16:45.000 We saw him hug people outside the front door.

01:16:48.000 That's completely dystopian, man.

01:16:50.000 That's crazy.

01:16:51.000 Yeah, I don't know why.

01:16:52.000 You know what it was?

01:16:53.000 Because my parents were just like, because, you know, the first time we all hung in outside, both my parents were like, bro, this sucks.

01:16:58.000 We're just come inside.

01:16:59.000 We're not doing this.

01:17:00.000 And that was like.

01:17:01.000 Oh, my parents were terrified of it.

01:17:02.000 My parents didn't give a fuck.

01:17:03.000 They were like, yeah, my parents didn't want to hang out with anybody until they got vaccinated.

01:17:07.000 Yeah, they were real nervous about it.

01:17:09.000 They're older, you know?

01:17:10.000 When you get older, that's why a lot of these people, like the Neil Youngs and Howard Sterns, and all those people that really freaked out about it, they're older people.

01:17:20.000 So to them, they're looking at they might be that 1% that dies.

01:17:24.000 Yeah.

01:17:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:17:25.000 Whereas like you're young and healthy, you work out.

01:17:28.000 You'll probably be fine.

01:17:29.000 Your wife's healthy.

01:17:29.000 You'll be okay.

01:17:30.000 You'll be fine.

01:17:32.000 When you're an old person and you smell death in the air already, every day you wake up, you're like, oh, your fucking back hurts.

01:17:42.000 Oh, Jesus, you can barely get out of bed.

01:17:44.000 Fucking your feet are swollen.

01:17:47.000 Like, it could get you.

01:17:48.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:17:48.000 I'm surprised my parents are like, you know, I think they're like going to be 70 soon.

01:17:52.000 They were just kind of like, we don't give a fuck, man.

01:17:55.000 Depends on where you grew up.

01:17:56.000 I think that's what it was, man.

01:17:57.000 They were just kind of like, you know, they're all just like, fuck that.

01:18:00.000 You know, it's bullshit.

01:18:01.000 No matter what it was, it was fucking bullshit.

01:18:04.000 Yeah, if you grow up hard, you're not worried about a cough.

01:18:07.000 Yeah, they weren't.

01:18:08.000 I remember I finally got it.

01:18:09.000 I finally got it.

01:18:10.000 And dude, it kind of like rocked me.

01:18:11.000 The first day, I had talked so much shit and I got it.

01:18:14.000 I was like, bro, if I die, this is going to suck so bad.

01:18:17.000 It's like, but we got it.

01:18:19.000 Me and my wife got it two days later.

01:18:20.000 So I had it, you know, we had like a little kid.

01:18:22.000 So I had to like, we just switched off.

01:18:23.000 I kind of was like, recovered enough.

01:18:25.000 So we were, our kid never got it.

01:18:26.000 Well, count us.

01:18:27.000 Kids can go right through it.

01:18:29.000 My, my, um, both of my kids got it and they just burned through it.

01:18:34.000 One of them had it more, but she's like a little more sensitive.

01:18:37.000 She, she was pretty sick for a couple days.

01:18:39.000 Not pretty, not like scary, but like she didn't feel good for a couple days.

01:18:42.000 The other one like barely had it.

01:18:44.000 Yeah.

01:18:44.000 Like went right through her.

01:18:46.000 The one didn't get it all.

01:18:46.000 Yeah.

01:18:47.000 The one had like a runny nose.

01:18:48.000 I was like in bed for three straight days, just like super fever hurting.

01:18:53.000 Were you taking any vitamins at the time?

01:18:55.000 No, at the time I wasn't living very sick.

01:18:56.000 That's the thing.

01:18:57.000 I'm all over the vitamins.

01:18:57.000 Yeah.

01:18:59.000 And I was all over the vitamins then.

01:19:00.000 And my wife back then, I don't think not so much.

01:19:03.000 I don't think she did as much.

01:19:03.000 Yeah.

01:19:05.000 So when I was around everybody that got it, it just never got to me.

01:19:08.000 Yeah.

01:19:09.000 No, I was forgot.

01:19:10.000 And we had like, you know, a relative newborn kind of situation going on.

01:19:14.000 That's a hard one.

01:19:14.000 And it was just like.

01:19:15.000 Your immune system is going to be crushed anyway because you're getting zero sleep.

01:19:19.000 Yeah.

01:19:20.000 Everybody's like ready to fall asleep at any given time.

01:19:23.000 Watching TV.

01:19:24.000 I've never recovered.

01:19:25.000 I'm still ready to pass out.

01:19:27.000 Like I can fall asleep.

01:19:28.000 I go home and I'm fried.

01:19:29.000 I take naps.

01:19:30.000 That was a big thing for coffee.

01:19:31.000 Now I can take naps during the day.

01:19:32.000 I can't take naps when I drink coffee.

01:19:34.000 Oh, I never take naps.

01:19:35.000 Oh, I love them, man.

01:19:36.000 A little siesta.

01:19:37.000 The only time I ever take a nap is if I have to do something really early in the morning.

01:19:41.000 So like if I do a set at night and I'm not home until like 12:30 and like maybe I have to get up at six or something, I'll take a little nap.

01:19:49.000 Yeah.

01:19:50.000 Just because for me, there's the balance of like what is what's more important, getting things done, working out, or not getting into a deficit.

01:19:59.000 And for me, it's not getting into a deficit.

01:20:01.000 Because when I, like, if I do a podcast and I'm sleepy, I get so mad at myself.

01:20:05.000 I'm like, what are you doing?

01:20:06.000 Like, this is your one job.

01:20:09.000 Be awake and talk to people.

01:20:11.000 Sleeping like a toddler just.

01:20:13.000 Oh, wow.

01:20:14.000 So how long are we in Indonesia for?

01:20:14.000 That's cool.

01:20:18.000 It is embarrassing.

01:20:19.000 You're like, what the fuck is the worst?

01:20:20.000 And then I'm just drinking coffee and energy drinks and taking nicotine pouches and just trying to fire the brain up.

01:20:26.000 Yeah, then when I do that, my face just gets hot and I'm just anxious.

01:20:30.000 It's like, that's why, especially for shows, like I try to travel.

01:20:33.000 Like I leave like on an early, early flight, get where I'm going and just take a big nap.

01:20:38.000 And then I wake up and go do the show.

01:20:38.000 Yeah.

01:20:40.000 One thing that I started doing when I was on the road a lot was I would go in on Thursday if I had a show on Friday.

01:20:46.000 So I would get in Thursday night, sleep, and then instead of flying in the day of the show, because you're always a little foggy.

01:20:56.000 It's hard to, and back then I wasn't on the nootropics as much.

01:21:00.000 I wasn't like taking it with me on the road, you know, brain vitamins and shit, like alpha brain.

01:21:05.000 But now I don't fuck around.

01:21:06.000 I don't travel without that stuff.

01:21:08.000 Yeah.

01:21:08.000 No, you do need.

01:21:10.000 I can't help it.

01:21:10.000 I do the day of.

01:21:11.000 I just go early, nap.

01:21:13.000 I did a show in Vegas last weekend that like it didn't start till 10 p.m. Vegas time.

01:21:17.000 So I got there.

01:21:19.000 It was brutal.

01:21:20.000 I got there, took a nap, woke up at like 9 p.m. Vegas time.

01:21:24.000 It was just like, I felt like a bug.

01:21:26.000 You know what my trick for that is?

01:21:28.000 The moment you land, the moment you land, put your shit in your hotel room, go straight to the gym.

01:21:35.000 No if, ands, or buts about it.

01:21:37.000 You've got to get a workout in.

01:21:38.000 And you got to sweat, like really sweat.

01:21:41.000 Just really get it going.

01:21:44.000 Do some push-ups, whatever the fuck you want to do, but just really sweat.

01:21:48.000 And it feels like it resets your system.

01:21:50.000 That would wake you up and kind of calm you down.

01:21:50.000 I can see that.

01:21:52.000 Yeah, it resets your system.

01:21:54.000 Like whatever the fuck happens when you're on a plane, when you get off, you're just like, bruh.

01:21:58.000 Dude, I feel like I've been microwaved.

01:22:00.000 Well, you have been, kind of.

01:22:00.000 I get off the class.

01:22:01.000 Yeah, pretty much.

01:22:02.000 I feel I smell weird.

01:22:04.000 That's like an x-ray.

01:22:05.000 Oh, fuck.

01:22:05.000 You're getting x-rays.

01:22:06.000 Yeah.

01:22:06.000 Try not to.

01:22:07.000 The other day I was like, maybe it's like good for me somehow.

01:22:10.000 I'm not here.

01:22:11.000 It's just like constricting my blood vessels and they like turn me into a superhero.

01:22:15.000 Well, I like was in Denver and I ran.

01:22:17.000 You know, recently I was like running and working out in Denver and I was like, probably altered now.

01:22:21.000 I did like a 30-minute workout.

01:22:22.000 I'm like, I'm probably totally different now.

01:22:24.000 Well, I lived above Boulder for a while.

01:22:27.000 Yeah.

01:22:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:22:28.000 And then I had a gig in Philly.

01:22:30.000 So I was living up there for a couple of months.

01:22:32.000 I was living at 8,500 feet above sea level and I'd work out up there.

01:22:36.000 And then when I'd go down to Boulder at 5,500, I had all this endurance.

01:22:40.000 I was like, this is crazy.

01:22:41.000 Oh, in Denver?

01:22:42.000 From Boulder to Denver, you're saying?

01:22:42.000 Yeah.

01:22:43.000 No, from where I was in the mountains above Boulder.

01:22:47.000 And so I'd go down to Boulder.

01:22:49.000 Gotcha, guys.

01:22:50.000 Boulder's like 55, 57, whatever it is.

01:22:53.000 But I was at 85.

01:22:54.000 Damn.

01:22:54.000 Yeah, 8,500 feet above sea level.

01:22:56.000 Yeah, that's a lot.

01:22:57.000 So then I did a gig in Philly and I went to the gym.

01:22:59.000 And I remember I called my friend.

01:23:00.000 I'm like, dude, I feel like I could run through a fucking wall.

01:23:04.000 Damn, I want that so bad.

01:23:05.000 That's why a lot of athletes train.

01:23:07.000 Like they go to Big Bear in California.

01:23:10.000 They train up there.

01:23:11.000 Damn.

01:23:12.000 I kind of, yeah, I got, I got to do it for like just once, and I was like, dude, this is awesome.

01:23:16.000 Yeah, if you can live at altitude and train at altitude and then go down to sea level, you feel like you have superpower.

01:23:21.000 Fuck, that's awesome.

01:23:22.000 So I have a lot of endurance athletes.

01:23:24.000 Like, that's why they put the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs.

01:23:26.000 That makes sense.

01:23:27.000 Yeah.

01:23:28.000 Like, training at altitude is a legit hack.

01:23:30.000 Yeah.

01:23:31.000 I didn't realize, because I've always wondered, like, why is it so hard?

01:23:34.000 And it's literally just the air thins and there's less oxygen.

01:23:36.000 It's that simple.

01:23:36.000 Yeah.

01:23:37.000 And then your body has to adapt so you get more red blood cells.

01:23:39.000 Yeah.

01:23:40.000 That's why they take EPO.

01:23:41.000 That's what EPO does for you.

01:23:42.000 Oh, you don't have to go to altitude.

01:23:44.000 Well, I think a lot of them do both.

01:23:47.000 You know, they just go as hard as they push it to that.

01:23:50.000 Like, how much before I get a stroke?

01:23:53.000 True.

01:23:54.000 I'm trying to win a gold medal.

01:23:56.000 I'm trying to win the Tour de France.

01:23:58.000 Dude, I just started, I started sprinting again.

01:24:00.000 Sprinting?

01:24:01.000 Sprinting, just all out, total sprints.

01:24:03.000 And just to like see where I was at, because I'm like, you know, because I'm like, if I feel like if you just stop, you can feel that like, you know, age creep in a little bit.

01:24:11.000 And there's a lot, I think there's a lot of mental stuff to be like, oh, you know, man, it just fucking goes.

01:24:15.000 But like, you know, if you're not like testing it, you know, how do you know?

01:24:17.000 You're just not letting yourself go anyway.

01:24:19.000 So I like, I was like doing it.

01:24:20.000 I hadn't been running like that in forever.

01:24:22.000 And dude, like, my fingertips would be numb.

01:24:24.000 I would do 100.

01:24:25.000 I would do 100 meter sprints and I like can't feel my hands.

01:24:30.000 Now I can.

01:24:32.000 Now I can.

01:24:32.000 I fixed it.

01:24:33.000 Now I, because you like grow new veins and shit.

01:24:36.000 I swear to God, it's true.

01:24:37.000 Are you a doctor?

01:24:38.000 I don't know.

01:24:39.000 I just, I've crocked, dude.

01:24:40.000 We're all equal now.

01:24:42.000 But dude, I remember being like, let me see where I'm at.

01:24:44.000 And I was like, bro, you really do.

01:24:46.000 You use it or lose it, man.

01:24:47.000 And I can run now.

01:24:48.000 I did it this morning.

01:24:49.000 I can sprint now and like, I don't get numb.

01:24:51.000 It's pretty old.

01:24:52.000 How do you do it?

01:24:52.000 Do you go to a track?

01:24:53.000 I have a track, yeah.

01:24:54.000 I have a track near my house and I just fucking bolt early, super early in the morning.

01:24:57.000 You feel amazing all day.

01:25:00.000 And so you just pick a certain amount of distance you're going to run?

01:25:03.000 I'll do like someday.

01:25:03.000 Yeah.

01:25:04.000 Like today, I did like two, 300s, two, 200s, and then like, we're supposed to do four 150s.

01:25:10.000 I got two.

01:25:10.000 And I was like, I'm tapped.

01:25:11.000 So you're done in like 15, 20 minutes.

01:25:14.000 You're done.

01:25:14.000 You go there.

01:25:15.000 I'm there at like six o'clock and I'm done in 20 minutes.

01:25:18.000 And you feel like it's like you were talking about.

01:25:21.000 You run to a city and just get like an all-out workout.

01:25:23.000 Yeah.

01:25:24.000 You feel like you're walking on air for the rest of the day.

01:25:27.000 That makes sense.

01:25:28.000 There was a study recently about explosive exercise and that that's one of the things that's lacking in like older people.

01:25:35.000 As they get older, they stop doing any kind of explosive exercise, like sprinting.

01:25:38.000 Yeah.

01:25:39.000 And how beneficial that is for maintaining your health and your ability to move around.

01:25:44.000 Dude, I'm telling you, like, that was like such a drastic thing, but I was like, damn, this is my circulation is like going.

01:25:49.000 Like, I can't fucking run without my hands feeling all like pins and needly.

01:25:53.000 And it just, they came back.

01:25:53.000 That's so weird.

01:25:54.000 Now I can do it.

01:25:55.000 My fingers feel fine.

01:25:56.000 You're getting in shape.

01:25:57.000 Yeah, it's pretty nuts because that was the thing.

01:25:59.000 Cardio is always like, cardio is dumb.

01:26:00.000 Who cares?

01:26:01.000 And then you're like, I learned, I think it just like you secrete growth hormone and then your veins and capillaries start like, you get, literally, you get like new and wider veins.

01:26:10.000 It makes sense.

01:26:10.000 It's pretty cool.

01:26:11.000 Makes sense.

01:26:12.000 I mean, your heart is fucking pounding out of your chest.

01:26:14.000 Yeah.

01:26:15.000 You're hitting 180 beats per minute.

01:26:17.000 It's like fucking forcing all that shit through.

01:26:20.000 Just clearing it out.

01:26:21.000 Like, all right, let's, what are we holding on to right now?

01:26:24.000 You see, like, you never got fat or you never got like really badly out of shape.

01:26:28.000 When you see a guy like Jellyroll, like, I have so much respect for that man.

01:26:34.000 Yeah.

01:26:34.000 I have so much respect for that man.

01:26:36.000 That dude lost 300 pounds.

01:26:39.000 Dude, how?

01:26:40.000 He lost 300 pounds.

01:26:42.000 No Ozempic.

01:26:44.000 Just stopped eating sugar.

01:26:45.000 That was no Ozempic.

01:26:46.000 No Ozempic.

01:26:48.000 He took testosterone replacement.

01:26:49.000 That's it.

01:26:50.000 That's fucking sick.

01:26:51.000 Sick.

01:26:52.000 I just started off.

01:26:53.000 I was like, he's got to be on Ozempic.

01:26:55.000 He started off just walking, man.

01:26:56.000 That's all.

01:26:57.000 Just trying to walk.

01:26:58.000 When he came here, last time we did a podcast, he ran, I forget who, I think he ran 6.2 miles the day before.

01:27:05.000 So they ran, like he was deer hunting down in South Texas, and he was with my friend Cam Haynes, and they went on a run.

01:27:12.000 They did 6.2 miles.

01:27:13.000 They ran and hills and shit.

01:27:15.000 Yeah.

01:27:15.000 And then he came in here before the podcast.

01:27:18.000 He ran 2.6 on the treadmill.

01:27:21.000 So I was working out and he was over there running and talking and laughing.

01:27:25.000 Look how good he looks.

01:27:26.000 Yeah.

01:27:26.000 How crazy is that?

01:27:28.000 Fucking nuts.

01:27:28.000 It's amazing.

01:27:29.000 It's amazing.

01:27:31.000 And we did the whole deal.

01:27:32.000 We did the sauna afterwards.

01:27:34.000 It was awesome.

01:27:35.000 How long did he lose it?

01:27:37.000 Three years.

01:27:38.000 Yeah.

01:27:38.000 Damn, that's crazy.

01:27:39.000 And he did it the right way.

01:27:41.000 He did it the hard way.

01:27:42.000 Just working out and eating right.

01:27:44.000 No sugar, no bullshit, eating clean food, and just slowly let his body drop.

01:27:51.000 He's got to feel over and over again.

01:27:52.000 He's got to feel awesome.

01:27:53.000 It's got to be amazing.

01:27:53.000 Yeah.

01:27:55.000 Damn.

01:27:55.000 How does he say that's doing like career-wise if he has like a persona and his know is like this, you know, I guess his fancy.

01:28:01.000 He's got an amazing voice.

01:28:03.000 Yeah.

01:28:04.000 I mean, the amazing voice is still amazing.

01:28:07.000 Well, your voice changes with that situation with weight a little bit.

01:28:07.000 Yeah.

01:28:10.000 I'm sure it'll change.

01:28:10.000 Yeah.

01:28:11.000 I don't know.

01:28:11.000 I've heard like if you're like an alto or something like that and you're certain you're at a certain weight, it can change if you kind of, because this is your diaphragms, I guess, in your stomach.

01:28:20.000 I know some dudes who lost a lot of weight and they didn't like the way they look when they were thin because their head was too big.

01:28:24.000 Yeah.

01:28:25.000 Isn't that weird?

01:28:26.000 Like your head gets big when you get heavier.

01:28:26.000 Yeah.

01:28:28.000 Yeah.

01:28:28.000 Oh, it just grows.

01:28:29.000 Yeah, it makes sense.

01:28:30.000 If it grows your fucking body, significant weight loss can change a person's voice, often making it sound higher pitched, lighter, or clearer due to reduced fat accumulation around the larynx, throat, and chest.

01:28:40.000 These physical changes decrease pressure on the vocal cords, improving breathing resonance, and reducing the effort required to produce sound.

01:28:48.000 So it makes you a better singer.

01:28:49.000 But does it, though?

01:28:50.000 Because like opera singers, aren't they all fat?

01:28:52.000 I think so.

01:28:53.000 I wonder if you have to be.

01:28:53.000 Class.

01:28:54.000 I don't know.

01:28:55.000 Are there any like really thin, like handsome opera singers?

01:28:59.000 Yeah, I don't know about all fat.

01:29:00.000 I think this is like a just general.

01:29:02.000 I think it's like a cartoon.

01:29:03.000 It's an opera thing.

01:29:04.000 It's a cartoon.

01:29:05.000 I have the same thing.

01:29:06.000 I'm like, yeah, I've seen that in cartoons.

01:29:08.000 There are always a big fat, jolly guys.

01:29:10.000 Fat lady with Viking helmets.

01:29:11.000 Yeah, it's always.

01:29:12.000 But that sounds good, though.

01:29:13.000 So your voice gets clearer, higher pitched, and it's not as much effort.

01:29:17.000 Sounds like that's RB Legend status then.

01:29:17.000 Yeah.

01:29:19.000 You can do cat cardio.

01:29:21.000 Like, you'll have way more cardio.

01:29:23.000 Your heart won't beat as fast.

01:29:25.000 You'll be able to have more oxygen to sing.

01:29:27.000 It's all good.

01:29:27.000 Yeah, dude.

01:29:28.000 Yeah.

01:29:29.000 That's awesome.

01:29:29.000 I mean, his voice is amazing.

01:29:31.000 And it's his songwriting, too.

01:29:33.000 It's like what he's singing about.

01:29:33.000 It's not just the voice.

01:29:35.000 It's like, that's not going to get worse.

01:29:37.000 Yeah, and his fans, I have it like a weird thing in my head where for comedy, I'm like, if I get in too good of shape, people are going to be like, fuck this guy.

01:29:44.000 Which I don't know.

01:29:45.000 That's not what's stopping me.

01:29:46.000 But it's like, you always wonder about that.

01:29:47.000 Like, I wonder if they'd be like, damn.

01:29:49.000 Right.

01:29:50.000 You know what I mean?

01:29:51.000 Well, that is a weird thing.

01:29:52.000 Like, I never got on stage with a t-shirt on.

01:29:55.000 Yeah, if you're too jacked.

01:29:56.000 Yeah.

01:29:57.000 Yeah.

01:29:58.000 Like, I would never go on stage with a tank top on.

01:30:00.000 Tank would be.

01:30:01.000 Tank might be kind of funny.

01:30:02.000 Tank would be kind of funny.

01:30:03.000 That's crazy.

01:30:04.000 That would be crazy.

01:30:06.000 Rich Voss used to do that all the time.

01:30:07.000 He was where I tanked up on stage.

01:30:09.000 That makes perfect sense.

01:30:11.000 Yeah, boss.

01:30:12.000 Yeah.

01:30:13.000 Like, Kid Rock style.

01:30:13.000 Character.

01:30:15.000 I just saw.

01:30:16.000 I just saw.

01:30:17.000 Did you see the workout vid?

01:30:18.000 No.

01:30:19.000 What do you mean?

01:30:20.000 You didn't see the Kid Rock Robert Kennedy workout vid?

01:30:22.000 Shut up.

01:30:23.000 You didn't see this?

01:30:24.000 No.

01:30:25.000 You said he did it off social media, so he must have really got off social media.

01:30:27.000 I'm off social media.

01:30:28.000 Dude, it is very funny.

01:30:31.000 I'm off social media, but apparently I'm not off the fucking news, which I think I have to be off now.

01:30:35.000 Yeah.

01:30:36.000 Because I haven't been gone on social media, but I'll read the Apple news feed and the Google newsfeed.

01:30:40.000 I'm like, fuck.

01:30:41.000 That's basically scrolling, too.

01:30:42.000 I tried the same thing.

01:30:43.000 I was reading about B-52s headed to some Air Force base, nuclear-equipped B-50s.

01:30:49.000 I'm like, what are we doing?

01:30:50.000 Yeah.

01:30:51.000 So let me see this workout video.

01:30:52.000 It's Kid Rock and, oh, Jesus Christ.

01:30:55.000 Oh, this must be Kid Rock's house.

01:30:57.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:30:58.000 Yeah.

01:30:58.000 Rock out workout.

01:31:02.000 RFK Jr. works out in jeans.

01:31:04.000 Yeah.

01:31:05.000 He always works out in jeans, which is so crazy.

01:31:08.000 Yeah, this is Kid Rock's house.

01:31:10.000 Kid Rock has a fucking insane house that looks like the White House.

01:31:15.000 The outside of it looks like the White House, but the inside of it has two bedrooms, and it's like 25,000 square feet.

01:31:22.000 It's an enormous house with two bedrooms.

01:31:24.000 Yeah, it's all just party.

01:31:26.000 He's got a huge hot tub room.

01:31:28.000 Look at Harf K Jr.

01:31:30.000 Jack Jack, dude.

01:31:31.000 That's awesome.

01:31:32.000 For $70,000 on the air dyne?

01:31:34.000 Look at him doing push-ups.

01:31:35.000 These guys are doing the air dying in the sauna.

01:31:37.000 I know.

01:31:38.000 wild yeah i think they go to his like cold plunge with jeans on what are you doing what the fuck are you doing That is ridiculous.

01:31:46.000 What's wrong with your legs?

01:31:47.000 Now I need to know.

01:31:49.000 Where's Kid?

01:31:50.000 So this is his crazy room that looks like a mining cavern.

01:31:55.000 I've heard of his secret.

01:31:57.000 He's got like this.

01:31:58.000 He's really into pickleball, too.

01:31:58.000 It's really cool.

01:32:00.000 He plays pickleball every morning.

01:32:02.000 That's what he's telling me.

01:32:02.000 He goes, I get up and play pickleball at 7 a.m. everybody.

01:32:05.000 Pickleball.

01:32:06.000 He's like, dude, I fucking love it.

01:32:07.000 That's what it looks like.

01:32:08.000 Look at how dope that is.

01:32:10.000 His house is so dope.

01:32:12.000 It's the fucking dopest house I've ever seen in my life.

01:32:15.000 Yeah, that's awesome.

01:32:15.000 And it's such a kid rock house.

01:32:17.000 Like the outside of it looks exactly like the White House.

01:32:20.000 That's incredibly larger.

01:32:22.000 No one should be distracted from the whole milk they're drinking and the hot dumb.

01:32:24.000 Oh, they're just roll, bro.

01:32:27.000 Yeah.

01:32:28.000 Can I bring your attention to something that's been happening on the internet since we've been live?

01:32:32.000 Yes.

01:32:33.000 President Trump was asked about Obama talking about the aliens.

01:32:38.000 I got a video on the screen.

01:32:39.000 Oh, perfect.

01:32:40.000 I want to hear it myself.

01:32:41.000 Yeah.

01:32:42.000 Barack Obama said that aliens are real.

01:32:46.000 Have you seen any evidence of non-human visitors to Earth?

01:32:50.000 Well, he gave classified information.

01:32:52.000 He's not supposed to be doing the.

01:32:54.000 So aliens are real.

01:32:55.000 Well, I don't know if they're real or not.

01:32:56.000 I can tell you he gave classified information.

01:32:58.000 He's not supposed to be doing that.

01:33:01.000 He made a big mistake.

01:33:02.000 He took it out of classified information.

01:33:05.000 No, I don't have an opinion on it.

01:33:07.000 I never talk about it.

01:33:08.000 A lot of people do.

01:33:09.000 A lot of people believe it.

01:33:12.000 Do you believe it, Peter?

01:33:13.000 I will hit the president.

01:33:14.000 I do now.

01:33:18.000 I may get him out of trouble by declassifying.

01:33:20.000 We know illegal aliens.

01:33:21.000 I may get him out of trouble by declassifying.

01:33:24.000 That's hilarious.

01:33:24.000 What else?

01:33:25.000 That was it.

01:33:27.000 What's going on on the internet these circles of these?

01:33:30.000 I may get him out of trouble by declassifying.

01:33:33.000 Geez, I hope he does.

01:33:35.000 Yeah, really?

01:33:36.000 Yeah.

01:33:37.000 Imagine you can get in trouble as a president for saying aliens are real?

01:33:41.000 I don't think so, man.

01:33:42.000 I don't think he's going to get in trouble for that.

01:33:44.000 Well, what did he say then?

01:33:45.000 What was that?

01:33:46.000 They've been saying there's aliens.

01:33:47.000 But what did he just say?

01:33:49.000 He just hates Obama.

01:33:50.000 He's going like, oh, he's going to jail.

01:33:52.000 I'm getting Hillary and I'm getting Obama for aliens.

01:33:54.000 They all hate each other and then they all hang out and shake hands.

01:33:57.000 Yeah.

01:33:58.000 Who's funeral was that when like George Bush and them were handing out candy to each other, it's like George Bush.

01:33:58.000 Yeah.

01:34:03.000 Well, George Bush and Michelle Obama are apparently friends.

01:34:05.000 Oh, they're buddies.

01:34:06.000 Yeah.

01:34:06.000 Okay.

01:34:06.000 Whichever way I thought.

01:34:07.000 But George Bush never engaged in like this insult kind of thing that Trump does.

01:34:12.000 It's true.

01:34:13.000 It's a different thing.

01:34:14.000 Yeah.

01:34:14.000 It's totally.

01:34:15.000 He was always very classy.

01:34:15.000 No, that's not.

01:34:17.000 Yeah.

01:34:18.000 And especially when you see the videos of him back in the day, like now you're like, man, this guy's like lovable.

01:34:22.000 Oh, dude, in comparison to the politicians himself saying, yeah.

01:34:26.000 He was like, oh, when is he running again?

01:34:29.000 That guy's a complete class act.

01:34:30.000 And then you're like, oh, yeah, fuck the Middle East.

01:34:31.000 Forgot about that.

01:34:32.000 But it's like.

01:34:32.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:33.000 Well, he had Satan on his side.

01:34:35.000 Yeah, true.

01:34:36.000 Dick Cheney was true.

01:34:38.000 Running around fucking shooting his friends in the face and hunting trips.

01:34:42.000 That's true.

01:34:42.000 I don't know.

01:34:43.000 I mean, that thing is like, did it was it classified?

01:34:46.000 It's like, now, but then if Trump's going to be like that, he gave out classified, then he's letting you know it's classified, so he's telling you the cat's out of the bags.

01:34:52.000 Well, he's saying I may declassify it.

01:34:55.000 I hope he does.

01:34:56.000 I hope this gets him because that is a weird thing to say.

01:35:01.000 He's not supposed to be saying that.

01:35:03.000 Well, that means it's real.

01:35:04.000 He gave out classified information.

01:35:06.000 That means there's real data that aliens are real.

01:35:09.000 That's the only thing you could draw as a conclusion from that statement.

01:35:12.000 Yeah.

01:35:13.000 Right?

01:35:13.000 Yeah, you would think.

01:35:14.000 I think, I don't think I would try to come up with another reasonable way he would say, aliens are real.

01:35:21.000 You shouldn't say that because it's classified.

01:35:23.000 Yeah.

01:35:24.000 That means it's real.

01:35:25.000 Yeah, it is, but that's like, that's such a crazy thing.

01:35:27.000 If Trump was trying to keep it classified, you think he'd be like, I don't know what he's talking about.

01:35:31.000 I don't know, dude.

01:35:32.000 I'm like, well, yeah, they are, but I can't say they are, and he's in trouble now.

01:35:35.000 I told you I've talked to Bob Lazar many times.

01:35:38.000 Oh, yeah, I had him on the podcast.

01:35:39.000 I had dinner with him when Andrew Schultz.

01:35:42.000 Schultz was in town in L.A.

01:35:44.000 I go, what are you doing tonight?

01:35:45.000 And he goes, why, what's up?

01:35:47.000 I go, you want to go have dinner with Bob Lazar?

01:35:49.000 He's the guy that used to back engineer UFOs at Area 51.

01:35:52.000 He goes, fuck yes.

01:35:54.000 Damn.

01:35:54.000 All right.

01:35:55.000 So we went to Fogo to Chow in L.A.

01:35:57.000 And we sat down with Bob Lazar and just got to ask him all these questions.

01:36:03.000 I've known him for years now.

01:36:04.000 So I've known him for probably when I did the podcast with him.

01:36:07.000 What year was that, Jamie?

01:36:09.000 2019.

01:36:11.000 2019.

01:36:12.000 So I've known him for six, seven years now.

01:36:15.000 However, it runs out time-wise.

01:36:15.000 Okay.

01:36:18.000 And he's always had the same story.

01:36:21.000 He's a very reasonable guy.

01:36:22.000 I've had dinner with him a couple times.

01:36:22.000 You hang out with him.

01:36:25.000 Super normal guy.

01:36:26.000 Doesn't seem like a big fat liar.

01:36:27.000 Obviously, a scientist.

01:36:29.000 Like, obviously, like a very brilliant guy.

01:36:32.000 Like, I don't know what to think.

01:36:35.000 I keep searching for some bullshit.

01:36:36.000 I keep searching for some thing.

01:36:38.000 He never saw any aliens.

01:36:40.000 He never saw anything.

01:36:41.000 He just was back engineering these crafts that didn't make any sense.

01:36:45.000 He's like, he got there.

01:36:47.000 He saw it.

01:36:47.000 The moment he saw it, it looked like that thing.

01:36:49.000 That's what it's based on.

01:36:51.000 That thing on the desk.

01:36:52.000 That's the sport model.

01:36:54.000 Jesus Christ.

01:36:55.000 There's a guy named Designs by Perry, and the E in Perry is a three, and he makes these.

01:37:01.000 You could buy them on the internet.

01:37:02.000 He makes like a desk clock or a desk lamp, rather.

01:37:06.000 So he'd have to examine the motor or whatever, the mechanisms of that.

01:37:11.000 They didn't even tell him what he was doing.

01:37:13.000 So this is what it was.

01:37:14.000 So he worked at Los Alamos, Los Alamos Labs in New Mexico, and he was a propulsions expert.

01:37:21.000 He had famously put a jet engine on the back of a Honda.

01:37:25.000 Like he built a Honda with a jet engine on it just for funsies.

01:37:29.000 He was just a genius.

01:37:31.000 He just loved engineering and doing things.

01:37:34.000 And he had contacted this guy about getting some work, some work in laboratories or whatever.

01:37:41.000 And he said, I might have something for you that is more along the lines with your capabilities.

01:37:48.000 I'm going to set up a meeting for you.

01:37:50.000 So he sets up this meeting for him.

01:37:51.000 He has no idea what the meeting is about.

01:37:53.000 He has no idea what they're doing.

01:37:54.000 They don't tell him.

01:37:55.000 They just start asking him about his background, what he did at Los Alamos, what he's interested in.

01:38:00.000 And he's like, it just tells his whole story of science and this and that.

01:38:04.000 And so they had already heard about him.

01:38:05.000 So they go, okay, show up at this place.

01:38:09.000 There's airplanes that are going to fly you out to where you're going.

01:38:13.000 So he's like, okay.

01:38:14.000 So no one even knew about these airplanes back then.

01:38:16.000 Now it's been confirmed that there's a bunch of airplanes right outside of Mandalay Bay.

01:38:20.000 You could see these airplanes that they fly, the employees that work in Area 51 and they live in Las Vegas.

01:38:27.000 They just fly him out there.

01:38:28.000 But nobody knew about this in 1989 when he was talking about it, when he blew the whistle on it.

01:38:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:38:33.000 And so they fly him out there.

01:38:35.000 They, you know, show him how everything works for a couple days in terms of how the base works and where you have access to, what you don't have access to.

01:38:44.000 They bring him this guy that is his co-worker that was there before, and then it was kind of going to show him the ropes.

01:38:50.000 And then a couple days in, they bring him into a hangar.

01:38:54.000 And there's that thing.

01:38:55.000 And it has an American flag sticker on it.

01:38:58.000 And so he goes, oh, these are ours.

01:39:01.000 He's like, oh, my God, no wonder why people are seeing these things.

01:39:06.000 This is something that we have.

01:39:08.000 So then they tell him, essentially, tell us how it works.

01:39:13.000 He's like, what is this?

01:39:14.000 Like, what?

01:39:14.000 A test?

01:39:15.000 Like, they're very vague about everything.

01:39:17.000 No one's telling him where it came from.

01:39:18.000 No one's telling him anything.

01:39:20.000 And then he realizes, like, the whole thing doesn't make sense because there's no welds.

01:39:24.000 There's no seams.

01:39:25.000 It's like it's 3D printed.

01:39:27.000 And you have to crawl in it because it's designed for people that are like three feet tall.

01:39:32.000 And there's no controls in it.

01:39:33.000 He's like, what is this?

01:39:35.000 And there's this generator in the center of it that has this triangle piece of this element that doesn't even exist on Earth.

01:39:46.000 This element 115.

01:39:47.000 He's like, wait, what the fuck is going on?

01:39:50.000 And they explain to him, you bombard this element with radiation.

01:39:55.000 This is how this thing works.

01:39:56.000 Put this dome on it.

01:39:57.000 It gets bombarded with radiation.

01:39:58.000 And then that causes this field around this craft that allows you to move around.

01:40:04.000 And so they do a demonstration for him.

01:40:06.000 He goes outside.

01:40:07.000 They fly this thing.

01:40:09.000 When he's under it, he can't see it.

01:40:12.000 He has to step away from where he is so he can see it again.

01:40:17.000 He's like, what the fuck is this thing?

01:40:19.000 It's not making any noise.

01:40:21.000 It moves around.

01:40:22.000 It gives off this glowing light when whatever this generator inside of it is operational.

01:40:30.000 It gives off this blue glowing light.

01:40:32.000 And this thing was like silently flying around.

01:40:34.000 And occasionally it would go from one point to another very quickly.

01:40:38.000 Like it could go from like this part of the mountain to that part of the mountain and just appear there.

01:40:44.000 And it would look like it just disappeared because it would move so fast.

01:40:46.000 It would just appear in a new place, it seemed like.

01:40:49.000 What was steering the thing?

01:40:51.000 I don't understand it.

01:40:52.000 And he didn't understand it either.

01:40:54.000 They don't exactly know.

01:40:56.000 He knows how supposedly this generator, there's these gravity beam projectors that are on the bottom of it.

01:41:04.000 And the way you get it to fly fast, it would turn sideways and then it would point these gravity projectors or whatever they called it into a certain direction.

01:41:13.000 It would create this void around this craft and it would just instantaneously go to wherever it was supposed to go.

01:41:22.000 Fuck this.

01:41:23.000 That's crazy.

01:41:24.000 And so he's working on this for months and months.

01:41:24.000 Right.

01:41:27.000 And then his wife starts having an affair on him because he doesn't tell her what he's doing.

01:41:33.000 It's like super top secret.

01:41:35.000 And so when you have this super toxic clearance, you can't tell anybody what you're doing.

01:41:40.000 So he's like, I got to go to work.

01:41:41.000 She's like, it's 11 o'clock at night.

01:41:42.000 Where are you going?

01:41:43.000 He's like, I have to go to work.

01:41:44.000 So he would just jet off.

01:41:46.000 And she was like, well, I'm going to go fuck my flight attendant or my flight instructor.

01:41:51.000 So this is all recorded because they're tapping his phones.

01:41:55.000 And so they suspend him because they're wondering if he's going to be emotionally unstable.

01:42:02.000 So while he's suspended, he takes his friends.

01:42:05.000 He's like, I got to tell people about this.

01:42:06.000 Like, I can't even work.

01:42:07.000 Something's going on.

01:42:08.000 I got to tell these people.

01:42:09.000 Like, hey, every Wednesday, I have the schedule.

01:42:12.000 Every Wednesday, they fly these fucking things.

01:42:14.000 And the reason why they do it on Wednesday is because that's when there's the least amount of traffic on the roads.

01:42:19.000 So he takes his wife and he takes a couple of friends and he takes them up to see this thing.

01:42:23.000 And they go once and then they go twice and then they get caught.

01:42:26.000 Damn.

01:42:27.000 And then when they get caught, then they grill him, they scare him, they're poking him in the chest with a gun and they're freaking him out.

01:42:33.000 And then they tell him about his wife and the affair and all this shit.

01:42:37.000 And so then he goes public.

01:42:39.000 And so he gets hold of this guy, George Knapp, who's a news reporter in Las Vegas.

01:42:45.000 And he tells him the story.

01:42:46.000 And at first, initially, they black his face out so he could remain anonymous.

01:42:51.000 He's like, look, the only way I can stay alive, you have to show my face.

01:42:54.000 Because they're threatening him.

01:42:56.000 They broke into his house.

01:42:57.000 He goes outside.

01:42:58.000 He goes to the gym, goes outside.

01:42:59.000 His trunk is open.

01:43:00.000 His hood is open.

01:43:00.000 All his doors are open.

01:43:01.000 The car was locked.

01:43:02.000 No one broke into it.

01:43:04.000 So he has no idea.

01:43:05.000 They're fucking with him.

01:43:06.000 And he's really worried.

01:43:07.000 Someone shoots his tire out on the highway.

01:43:10.000 Where is he now?

01:43:11.000 He's just chilling.

01:43:13.000 Well, he's, I don't know if I'm supposed to say where he lives.

01:43:15.000 But he's like, yeah, no, he's around.

01:43:15.000 Oh, whatever.

01:43:18.000 I mean, this is a long time ago.

01:43:19.000 It was a long time ago.

01:43:21.000 And, you know, he was kind of discredited.

01:43:23.000 They tried to discredit him.

01:43:24.000 They said he never worked at Los Alamos Labs.

01:43:27.000 But then someone got a hold of the employee roster from the time that he was working there, and his name's listed there.

01:43:32.000 So someone who worked there at the time said, I have the employee roster from, you know, 1985 or whatever it was.

01:43:38.000 And he says, Sure, right here.

01:43:39.000 And they go through the roster and it says right there, Robert Lazar.

01:43:43.000 And there's also a newspaper article that was printed about him being a physicist at Los Alamos Labs and that he had made this crazy jet engine-powered Honda.

01:43:51.000 So there's him with the Honda, and he's listed in this lab that he's a physicist at this lab.

01:43:56.000 Dude, that shit's so weird.

01:43:59.000 And then what that guy just said?

01:44:00.000 Yeah.

01:44:00.000 What Trump just said?

01:44:01.000 He's not supposed to say that.

01:44:02.000 It's classified.

01:44:04.000 What?

01:44:04.000 Yeah.

01:44:05.000 Why don't you fucking tell us?

01:44:07.000 Well, I always wonder if they're going to try to do like a Space Force thing where it's like WMD is in the Middle East.

01:44:12.000 We go to the Middle East.

01:44:13.000 Now they're going like, yeah, I think there are aliens.

01:44:15.000 And it's like, now we get to do like Space Force shit.

01:44:18.000 I think if they're aliens, you can't do shit to them.

01:44:21.000 I know, but it's also like if you want to erect some weird defense thing in outer space so we can spy on China, it's like, yeah, I think there's probably our aliens for them, by the way.

01:44:29.000 It's like there's, I would imagine there's something.

01:44:31.000 I would imagine there's something.

01:44:32.000 Because the government, whenever they start floating out things, like I always assume there's like an agenda.

01:44:37.000 I'm like, all right, what are they doing?

01:44:38.000 100%.

01:44:39.000 Because they just dropped aliens on us out of nowhere.

01:44:41.000 And everyone was kind of like, okay.

01:44:43.000 Well, it really started around 2017.

01:44:45.000 That's when it started to become legitimized because that was when the New York Times printed this article about it.

01:44:50.000 And they talked about these pilots and their experiences and these videos that they couldn't explain because these crafts had no heat signature and they were flying at ridiculous speeds over the ocean.

01:45:00.000 I remember them just coming out with it and then like just they started doing the UAP thing and all that stuff and they were like, yeah, there's like unidentified crafts and you know blah blah blah.

01:45:00.000 Yeah.

01:45:10.000 So I'm always kind of like, what are they up to?

01:45:11.000 Yeah, it's weird.

01:45:12.000 What the hell are these guys up to?

01:45:13.000 It's hard to know what's real and what's not real.

01:45:16.000 But when you start talking to pilots and people that have experienced certain things, you know, you just go, wow, what is this guy saying?

01:45:25.000 Yeah, and again, I don't deny it.

01:45:26.000 I'm always kind of like, yeah, you probably did see that stuff, but it's like, I don't know.

01:45:30.000 You know, it's like.

01:45:32.000 Why is it classified?

01:45:34.000 It's got to be military.

01:45:35.000 I would imagine it's military stuff, or they're like, we want to use it for, we want to reverse engineer and use it for our military.

01:45:40.000 If this gets into another military's hands, blah, blah, blah.

01:45:42.000 But then they're all spying on each other.

01:45:44.000 So I would imagine they would know too.

01:45:45.000 Well, the people that I've talked to said that Russia and China both have retrieved crashes.

01:45:50.000 Really?

01:45:50.000 Yeah, it's not just America that has them.

01:45:52.000 It's other countries that have them too.

01:45:54.000 Damn.

01:45:54.000 Supposedly, this is the big story.

01:45:56.000 Supposedly.

01:45:58.000 There's one that's so big that they can't move it.

01:46:01.000 So they built a building around it.

01:46:03.000 And that's supposed to be in Korea.

01:46:04.000 What?

01:46:05.000 Supposedly.

01:46:06.000 That's why I heard it's in Korea.

01:46:07.000 But yeah, this is the lore: that this thing is so big that they couldn't move it, that they had to put a building around it.

01:46:14.000 Dude, that's wild.

01:46:15.000 That'll be the thing I always think about if they come out and say, yeah, there's definitely aliens.

01:46:20.000 Like, what do people do?

01:46:22.000 Yeah.

01:46:23.000 This is the building, supposedly.

01:46:24.000 The giant building in South Korea is often cited as a potential UFO storage facility.

01:46:32.000 You imagine if they just built it the shape of a UFO.

01:46:34.000 Yeah, it kind of looks like it.

01:46:35.000 I don't know.

01:46:35.000 That's so crazy.

01:46:36.000 Dude, do a square building.

01:46:38.000 What's in that fucking building?

01:46:40.000 I don't know.

01:46:41.000 Imagine if that's real.

01:46:43.000 Yeah, what is this?

01:46:45.000 Why are they?

01:46:46.000 Why do they think this?

01:46:48.000 Well, I would imagine that place would have to be heavily guarded.

01:46:52.000 Yeah.

01:46:53.000 There's just a gate.

01:46:54.000 Who's that guy?

01:46:56.000 Eric Burleson insisted on the existence of aliens, but admitted he has no definitive proof.

01:47:01.000 I was talking that video I showed you the other day who said he was going to go look at these places.

01:47:05.000 He was going to go look in Korea?

01:47:07.000 He mentioned he was going to go look at the underground one.

01:47:09.000 He didn't say where it was.

01:47:10.000 Oh, this is the congressman, congressman's claim.

01:47:12.000 So scroll down there a little lower.

01:47:15.000 So here it is.

01:47:16.000 U.S. Congressman's claimed the classified facility housing a UFO is hiding in plain sight.

01:47:20.000 Well, that's kind of hiding and plain sight.

01:47:22.000 They literally made a little antenna on the top, just like this sport model.

01:47:26.000 Look at this sport model.

01:47:27.000 It has that antenna on the top.

01:47:29.000 I don't know what to believe, man.

01:47:31.000 But I know I want to believe.

01:47:33.000 270 feet in diameter.

01:47:35.000 Holy shit.

01:47:36.000 Yeah, it's fucking insane.

01:47:38.000 Yeah, especially now with all the deep fake stuff that's going to come out.

01:47:41.000 Like the next election will be in like deep fake territory.

01:47:44.000 Everyone will be like, you were on the Epstein list.

01:47:46.000 You were on it.

01:47:46.000 No, you were.

01:47:48.000 I'm like, I'm just, you know.

01:47:49.000 You could have people saying all kinds of things that they've never said.

01:47:52.000 Or being like, I didn't do that.

01:47:53.000 Hanging out with people that never hung out.

01:47:54.000 I mean, there were all these photos that were fake of Epstein with a bunch of different people.

01:47:58.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:59.000 No, there was a completely fake videos people were sharing.

01:48:01.000 Yeah.

01:48:02.000 It's like, you know, so I don't know.

01:48:03.000 By that time, it's like I've been trying to just pull back completely from like the news.

01:48:08.000 And I'm like, you know.

01:48:09.000 Hey, what is the official story of the Colbert show where they had to air that Tallarico interview on YouTube?

01:48:18.000 Because I'm hearing two versions.

01:48:21.000 I'm hearing one version is that CBS wouldn't let them air it because Trump was involved and the government was involved somehow or another because they're worried about this Tallarico guys, this very charismatic guy in Texas that I really like.

01:48:34.000 Very nice guy.

01:48:35.000 I'm on the show.

01:48:36.000 Brian Simpson told me about him.

01:48:38.000 And then the other thing that I'm hearing is: no, with FCC equal time rules, if he had Tallarico on, he would also have to have Tallarico's opponent, which is, I think, Jasmine Crockett.

01:48:51.000 Is that true?

01:48:52.000 I didn't even know.

01:48:53.000 Whoever his opponent is.

01:48:56.000 So I think there's rules like that for the FCC that don't exist for podcasts.

01:49:00.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:49:01.000 They have to balance it.

01:49:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:02.000 Like if you have this person on that's running for office, you also have to have someone that is opposing them.

01:49:02.000 Yeah.

01:49:08.000 They have to have equal time.

01:49:08.000 Okay.

01:49:09.000 I didn't know they had.

01:49:10.000 Is that true?

01:49:12.000 So he was on, was he was on Colbert's show?

01:49:14.000 Who show was he on?

01:49:15.000 Yeah.

01:49:16.000 Stephen Colbert show.

01:49:17.000 Okay.

01:49:17.000 And so they were framing it like it was the government was censoring this guy because they're worried, and he was saying they're worried that they're going to flip Texas.

01:49:26.000 That's what he's saying.

01:49:28.000 I don't know if that's true, though.

01:49:31.000 Because I'm.

01:49:33.000 So it's the different, honestly, this sounds like it's Colbert saying one thing.

01:49:37.000 CBS lawyers are saying a different thing.

01:49:39.000 Okay.

01:49:40.000 What are CBS lawyers saying?

01:49:42.000 They're saying that it's the FCC thing.

01:49:44.000 Colbert says, quote, here, they know damn well every word of my script was approved by CBS lawyers who, for the record, approve every script that goes on the air.

01:49:53.000 Yeah, but it's not about the script.

01:49:54.000 It's about the humans, the people that are on, if the people are – yeah, here it is.

01:49:58.000 The show provided legal guidance that the broadcast could trigger the FCC equal time rule for two other candidates, including rep Jasmine Crockett, and presented options for how equal time for other candidates could be fulfilled.

01:50:13.000 So you would have to have equal time.

01:50:16.000 Colbert scoffed at this statement during Tuesday's show.

01:50:20.000 They know damn well every word of my script, but it doesn't have anything to do with the script.

01:50:24.000 Said they know damn well that every word of my script last night was approved by CBS lawyers who, for the record, approved every script that goes on the air.

01:50:31.000 Well, that's just diverting because that's not what the subject is.

01:50:36.000 Okay.

01:50:37.000 I got called backstage to get more notes from these lawyers, something that had never ever happened before.

01:50:42.000 They told us the language they wanted me to use to describe that equal time exception.

01:50:47.000 And I used that language, Colbert said.

01:50:50.000 So I don't know what this is about.

01:50:52.000 He went on to say he wasn't mad at the network and does not want an adversarial relationship.

01:50:57.000 Well, he's on his way out anyway.

01:50:58.000 Yeah, I thought I didn't know he still was doing a show.

01:51:00.000 Yeah, he's doing it, I think, until like April or May or something.

01:51:04.000 Come on, you're Paramount.

01:51:05.000 No, no, no, you're more than that.

01:51:06.000 Your Paramount Plus, he cracked.

01:51:08.000 And for the lawyers to release this statement without even talking to me is really surprising.

01:51:13.000 The host also noted there's been a long, very famous exception to the equal time rule, and that exception included talk shows, interviews with politicians.

01:51:23.000 Oh, interesting.

01:51:24.000 So that makes it interesting.

01:51:26.000 We looked, we couldn't find one example of this rule being enforced for any talk show interview, not only for my entire late-night career, but for anyone's late-night career, going back to the 1960s, he said.

01:51:37.000 Colbert said that Carr has not gotten rid of that exception, exception for talk show hosts yet.

01:51:46.000 Maybe CBS was worried that this is a rule and that the government could crack down on them, although no one has ever done that in the past.

01:51:59.000 So this is a different kind of government, right?

01:52:01.000 Obviously, it's a very adversarial relationship, CBS, or at least the Colbert Show, has already with Trump.

01:52:10.000 Yeah.

01:52:11.000 Well, what are they worried about?

01:52:12.000 Who is Tallerico?

01:52:13.000 What party is Tallarico?

01:52:14.000 He's a Democrat.

01:52:15.000 Democrat, and Crockett, what's Crockett?

01:52:17.000 He's a Democrat as well.

01:52:18.000 He's a Democrat, too.

01:52:19.000 What is like, oh, they're running against each other?

01:52:21.000 Exactly.

01:52:22.000 Yeah.

01:52:22.000 Okay.

01:52:23.000 Teller Rico is the white guy.

01:52:25.000 He's a guy.

01:52:26.000 His story is very interesting.

01:52:27.000 He was a school teacher.

01:52:28.000 Okay.

01:52:29.000 And his story was that he had this kid that was very troubled in his class, but the kid was receiving counseling and it was starting to get better.

01:52:36.000 Then budgets got cut.

01:52:37.000 And when budgets got cut, they cut off the counseling.

01:52:39.000 And this kid started fucking off and acting out and really falling apart.

01:52:44.000 And he wound up getting kicked out of school.

01:52:47.000 And it really hurt him because he was like, this kid had real potential.

01:52:50.000 And he is a teacher.

01:52:52.000 And so then he decided to run for office and to try to remedy these problems.

01:52:56.000 Gotcha.

01:52:57.000 So didn't he just get like jammed up with something now where someone claimed they were in his office and that he said something kind of like disparaging about like a black guy?

01:53:06.000 Tylerico?

01:53:07.000 He's a very mild manner looking guy, right?

01:53:09.000 There was, I don't know if I'm getting my politics.

01:53:09.000 Yeah.

01:53:12.000 Man, when people are running against people, stories start a flying.

01:53:17.000 But there was a, it was about another politician.

01:53:19.000 All he said was like, I didn't know I was going up against, you know, this like, I don't know, I guess like whatever word he used, like electrifying black man.

01:53:26.000 I thought I was going up against a mediocre black guy.

01:53:29.000 That was it.

01:53:30.000 Some lady claimed that he called Colin Allred a mediocre black man.

01:53:35.000 Faced allegations that he referred to his opponent Colin Allred as a mediocre black man during a private conversation with an influencer.

01:53:42.000 An influencer.

01:53:43.000 Yeah.

01:53:44.000 A comment rep Tallarico has denied.

01:53:46.000 The allegation caused significant backlash with Allred calling for supporters to vote for another candidate, Jasmine Crockett.

01:53:53.000 Yeah, so it's like.

01:53:55.000 Yeah, that's a way to get people to not vote for that guy.

01:53:58.000 Yeah, it kind of sucks.

01:53:59.000 An influencer said it.

01:54:00.000 An influencer was like, I worked in his campaign and he was like, if I known I was going up against this strong black woman, I wouldn't have known.

01:54:07.000 I thought I was running against a mediocre black man.

01:54:09.000 And then the guy responded being like, nothing about me is mediocre.

01:54:14.000 I wasn't into what the penalty is for the equal time rule.

01:54:17.000 And I don't really see one.

01:54:19.000 Poor Teller.

01:54:20.000 Tell Rico's having a tough time.

01:54:21.000 Especially if it sounds like he's a sweet guy who's like trying to help kids out.

01:54:25.000 His name's too close to the guy that killed Epstein.

01:54:28.000 What's his name?

01:54:28.000 They keep fucking him up.

01:54:30.000 Taglioni, Tallarico.

01:54:34.000 Yeah, that's.

01:54:35.000 I keep confusing them.

01:54:37.000 When I say the killer's name, that cop, I keep saying, I think his name is Tagliote.

01:54:43.000 No, Tallarico.

01:54:44.000 No, shit.

01:54:46.000 He's trying to catch up to him.

01:54:47.000 He's like, I think this guy killed Epstein, actually.

01:54:51.000 The thing is, like, an influencer said, like, what does that mean?

01:54:55.000 Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, look, yeah, it's pretty genius, though.

01:54:58.000 If you want to do dirty politics, you can just be like, but what if he said I was going, I thought I was going up against this mediocre guy, and now I'm going up against this powerful black lady.

01:55:06.000 That's what it's not a bad.

01:55:07.000 But then he didn't, he was like, you know, I'd be like, that makes sense.

01:55:09.000 But he is a black man.

01:55:10.000 So if you're saying mediocre guy, and it happens to be a black man, and then that person says, he said mediocre black man.

01:55:16.000 Like, oh, yeah, it's not, it's not even that bad of a thing to say.

01:55:21.000 All you'd have to do is just not say the black part, and you'd be like, oh, he's just talking about a politician.

01:55:25.000 The guy's mediocre.

01:55:26.000 I know.

01:55:27.000 Happens to be black, but he's mediocre.

01:55:28.000 But as soon as you describe him accurately, yeah, you just fried.

01:55:32.000 Especially, especially if you're a dad, man.

01:55:34.000 If you're dead, you cannot be calling.

01:55:35.000 No.

01:55:37.000 He's a religious guy, too, which is interesting, but also opposes putting the Ten Commandments in schools.

01:55:43.000 Okay.

01:55:44.000 He said I think it's going to push people away from Christianity.

01:55:44.000 Yeah.

01:55:46.000 He had a very well-thought-out point about it.

01:55:49.000 Yeah.

01:55:50.000 We had a really good conversation.

01:55:51.000 So you don't need to be in school and be like, thou shalt not commit adultery.

01:55:54.000 It's like, yeah, dude, they're not going to fuck your wife.

01:55:56.000 Well, it's not that.

01:55:57.000 You're pushing this religious rule, these religious rules on people, and it's one religion.

01:56:03.000 It's like, what about people that are Buddhists?

01:56:04.000 What about people that are Muslims?

01:56:06.000 What about people that are Mormons?

01:56:07.000 What about you can go down the list forever and ever and ever, Hindus?

01:56:10.000 Like, what do you come on?

01:56:11.000 Yeah, and it's also, you can, you know, you can kind of summarize it up and like, just be nice.

01:56:16.000 You know, I worked in a high school for a while.

01:56:18.000 I was a counselor.

01:56:19.000 Oh, really?

01:56:20.000 Yeah, I was like, I went to school for social work for a while.

01:56:23.000 So, like, what kind of counseling would you do?

01:56:25.000 Just like therapy.

01:56:25.000 I would, there was, it was, it was a really cool way they did it was like it was, you know, it was a charter school, and I was there as an intern because I was getting my master's in social work.

01:56:33.000 So, they would have interns there as therapists for the school kids, basically, so that the kids could get free therapy at school if they were exhibiting kind of problems or whatever.

01:56:43.000 So, it was like I worked at a, like, it was like an inner city school in Philly, and I would just go there and chill in an office, and they would just like, I'd have to get kids in class, and they would just come.

01:56:50.000 We would like talk a couple times a week, and then you could bring their family in if they, if they're like, if they had problems at home, you'd be like, all right, let's call the mom and dad.

01:56:56.000 This is what this guy was talking about.

01:56:57.000 This is what Tallarico was talking about, what they cut funding for.

01:57:00.000 Yeah, it's a shame because this school was like, they kind of like ran it themselves.

01:57:04.000 I guess they're getting funded by the state, but the way they got around it was just using interns.

01:57:09.000 So it wasn't like, you know, you're not getting like the most experienced people in the world.

01:57:13.000 But you're getting some help.

01:57:14.000 Getting something, man.

01:57:15.000 Well, this kid that he was talking about, he had this very detailed story about this kid who's like a good kid, just came from a fucked up house.

01:57:23.000 And he wanted, and these people around him were the only positive influences that he had ever had.

01:57:28.000 And he was starting to get better.

01:57:29.000 Yeah.

01:57:29.000 And then they took it away and he starts falling apart.

01:57:32.000 And dude, it's also like you don't, you forget, like, you know, because there's like for kids when you like, especially when you're like in a city and kids are telling you like their lives, it's like, it's fucking heartbreaking.

01:57:32.000 Yeah.

01:57:42.000 Like the shit, like their day-to-day setup, you're like, fucking Christ, man.

01:57:47.000 And then there's looking at you, like, what do I do?

01:57:48.000 And I'm like, you got to hang in there.

01:57:50.000 There's nothing I, there's literally nothing I can tell you to do.

01:57:52.000 He's got to hang in there.

01:57:54.000 It was sad, but it was, it was one of like my favorite.

01:57:54.000 Right.

01:57:57.000 If I didn't do stand-up, I would probably do that for a job.

01:57:59.000 Yeah.

01:57:59.000 I loved it.

01:58:00.000 It was fun.

01:58:01.000 That's well, it sounds very rewarding, right?

01:58:03.000 Yeah.

01:58:03.000 You're actually helping people.

01:58:04.000 Yeah, and you have to, it's just like intense.

01:58:06.000 You're just sitting there in a room with someone and it's like everything they're saying.

01:58:09.000 There's no like guidance.

01:58:10.000 You have to just be like, all right, well, like, maybe this, maybe that.

01:58:12.000 And it's like a, I don't know.

01:58:13.000 I felt really, I always liked it a lot.

01:58:15.000 It was pretty cool.

01:58:16.000 But then you would like, you go back to the school and I, I, it's, it's so funny.

01:58:20.000 I went to social work school just because I was doing stand-up.

01:58:23.000 I was kind of kicking around.

01:58:24.000 I was like, yeah, I was doing the podcast, but it was like slow going.

01:58:27.000 And I remember watching Jordan Peterson be like, the schools are crazy right now.

01:58:30.000 And part of me, like, I always, I wanted to be a therapist, but I remember being like, kind of curious, like, I wonder how bad they are.

01:58:36.000 And I went to school.

01:58:37.000 I went to my master's program in social work, which was like ground zero for all like the stuff he was talking about.

01:58:42.000 And he was, dude, it was, it was literally like worse than he made it out to be.

01:58:46.000 What was it like?

01:58:46.000 It was insane, dude.

01:58:47.000 It was literally like, you know, I went to school, again, to be a therapist, but like social work, you can be a therapist faster than if you go to school for psychology because you just like don't need any of the science, really.

01:58:58.000 You just study kind of like the theory and you know, whatever.

01:59:00.000 So you can be a therapist quicker.

01:59:01.000 It's like a shortcut kind of.

01:59:03.000 But it would be like, it was just literally, you'd be in a room with like 13 other people and they would like, you know, you talk about whatever it'd be, like, let's talk about like clinical approaches here and there.

01:59:13.000 And it would just right away turn into like race, gender, who's the most oppressed, do this.

01:59:18.000 And it was just like, people would tell stories.

01:59:20.000 Like, one time this guy said this to me and everyone's like, I can't believe that fucking guy said that.

01:59:24.000 It was literally like nothing.

01:59:26.000 You paid 60 grand.

01:59:27.000 It was like, like, I would be terrified if I was getting therapy.

01:59:32.000 And again, it's like not everybody, but there's a lot of very unhappy, people would cry in class.

01:59:36.000 So you'd be like talking and like people would just start bursting out in tears.

01:59:40.000 Like, I don't feel safe.

01:59:42.000 It was insane.

01:59:43.000 And I'm like, dude, you're going to be talking to people who are like homeless.

01:59:46.000 How are you going to help them?

01:59:47.000 Oh, my God.

01:59:48.000 And it was all female.

01:59:49.000 It was mostly female dominated.

01:59:50.000 It was like me and three or four other guys.

01:59:52.000 And then like people would come in because you'd bring your case files in and be like, here's something I'm dealing with.

01:59:56.000 Let me get some, you know, what do you think about this?

01:59:59.000 I remember this guy was dealing with this like Vietnam vet who like, you know, had like lived in Philly his whole life.

02:00:04.000 And he was like, I was just shocked the way he talked about women.

02:00:06.000 And it's like, bro, you're dirty macking your client, dude, for these chicks.

02:00:10.000 I'm like, come on, man.

02:00:11.000 It was just kind of weird.

02:00:12.000 It was like, dude, you know, he's a fucking 70-year-old dude.

02:00:14.000 He's lived in Philly his whole life.

02:00:15.000 He probably stabbed Charlie in a tunnel somewhere.

02:00:18.000 Yeah.

02:00:18.000 And he was like, he was just very crude about women.

02:00:20.000 It's like, come on, man.

02:00:21.000 Of course this guy is.

02:00:22.000 Don't throw him under the fucking bus.

02:00:23.000 You're supposed to be helping.

02:00:24.000 That was my whole point.

02:00:25.000 It was like, if you're doing therapy with people, it's like, you know, life is just so hard and so complex.

02:00:30.000 And if you're going to be like, this doesn't sit with my party politics, I was like, you guys got to drop the political shit, man, and just like meet these people where they're at.

02:00:38.000 Well, there's so many guys out there that just want brownie points.

02:00:41.000 That's what I, and dude, he's exactly what it was.

02:00:44.000 I was like, dude, I know what you're doing right now.

02:00:45.000 You're dirty macking this guy.

02:00:47.000 So you can be like, personally, I was offended.

02:00:49.000 I'm like, dude.

02:00:51.000 These guys are the worst.

02:00:53.000 I couldn't stand it at all.

02:00:54.000 These guys are the worst.

02:00:56.000 Then they try to kick me out of the school because when Shane got in trouble for SNL, my name popped up in the byline because they had no clue.

02:01:04.000 It was like a double life.

02:01:05.000 I would go to social work school.

02:01:08.000 Because I just took out loans.

02:01:09.000 I'm like, we'll just see what, you know, if the podcast works, I'll just pay off the loans.

02:01:12.000 If it doesn't, I'll have a degree.

02:01:14.000 And so I had been, it had been pretty contentious because my plan was like, dude, just go, keep it cool.

02:01:20.000 Don't say anything.

02:01:21.000 And then, dude, you'd be in these classrooms.

02:01:23.000 And like, I remember the one time this lady, and they're all like young, they right out of college.

02:01:27.000 They come out and they'd be like, well, and I believe this was like unprompted.

02:01:31.000 She was like, well, if she was like, I would never personally call the cops on a black person ever.

02:01:37.000 And I'm just sitting in the back of the room and I'm like, no one's going to say this is the craziest thing.

02:01:41.000 And I'm like, what if he was beating a woman?

02:01:43.000 And she was like, I mean, like, and like, it was just that non-fucking stop.

02:01:49.000 And I couldn't help it.

02:01:50.000 So I would start saying stuff.

02:01:51.000 The room would go into chaos.

02:01:52.000 So like, I literally couldn't bite my tongue.

02:01:55.000 And then eventually they found, once they, they already kind of had it out for me.

02:01:59.000 And once that news came out about the podcast, they were like, we got him dead to rights.

02:02:03.000 So then they, they like the student council, like they, all of them, they didn't like me at all.

02:02:08.000 They all kind of did a motion to get me kicked out.

02:02:11.000 And so the teacher came to, or like, you know, the dean or whatever, who actually was nice.

02:02:15.000 She like, I had a meeting with her and she was like, yeah, these people feel unsafe, blah, blah, blah.

02:02:15.000 I liked her a lot.

02:02:20.000 So I had to do him, and it was like unsafe or they just don't, you know, they don't like what they're hearing.

02:02:24.000 But like they, I had a meeting with like the board, basically.

02:02:28.000 Would you ever like fantasize about getting like defending yourself in court?

02:02:31.000 Yeah.

02:02:31.000 I got to do that.

02:02:32.000 And I got to have like a, you know, we got to like debate about whether or not I actually violated the code of ethics.

02:02:38.000 And it was like kind of this gray area.

02:02:39.000 So it was like, it was awesome.

02:02:41.000 I recorded it on my phone.

02:02:42.000 Wow.

02:02:42.000 It's like an hour long.

02:02:44.000 I never listened to it again, but it was like, because I was like, just in case they jammed me up, the lady was like, you know, like, if what would you do if we kicked you out?

02:02:51.000 And I was like, dude, like, I'll make the most of that for sure.

02:02:55.000 Like, I wouldn't want to do it, but I would just see you guys, man.

02:02:57.000 Like, you can't kick me out.

02:02:58.000 I'm already like invested.

02:02:59.000 I, you know, blah, blah, blah.

02:03:00.000 And then COVID happened.

02:03:01.000 So like they just hushed it all.

02:03:03.000 I just got to finish online class.

02:03:05.000 Yeah, they tried to give me the boot.

02:03:07.000 And I remember the day.

02:03:08.000 Wow.

02:03:08.000 Did they have a specific thing that they were upset about?

02:03:11.000 Was it your association with Shane?

02:03:12.000 It was just that clip, that Chinatown clip came out.

02:03:14.000 Oh, wow.

02:03:15.000 Like, I'm sure they looked into other stuff, but they were like, he's making this place unsafe.

02:03:15.000 And they just saw us.

02:03:19.000 We're not safe here.

02:03:20.000 And I was like, shut up.

02:03:22.000 Yeah, podcasters and academia.

02:03:24.000 It was, dude.

02:03:25.000 It was academia.

02:03:26.000 That does not go together.

02:03:27.000 Also, dude, like, I thought having a master's, I was going to be around geniuses.

02:03:31.000 It's like, they're not that smart.

02:03:32.000 You go to a place of masters and PhDs.

02:03:35.000 Half of them don't even like read anything.

02:03:37.000 You talk about a book, they're like, I never heard of that.

02:03:39.000 And then they'd show you like Netflix.

02:03:40.000 You're like, bro, I'm paying 60 grand for this.

02:03:43.000 You're hitting me with a Netflix dock.

02:03:44.000 It's like, this is eight bucks a month.

02:03:46.000 They were showing you Netflix docs in class?

02:03:48.000 Yeah.

02:03:49.000 We watched the Netflix doc.

02:03:50.000 One of the classes, we watched the 13th Amendment.

02:03:52.000 And I was like, I saw this already.

02:03:54.000 What the fuck, man?

02:03:55.000 Like, it's the that, like, I mean, I remember thinking, like, damn, everyone was on Peterson's ass about this.

02:04:01.000 He was totally right.

02:04:02.000 Liberal or liberal arts colleges were like, it was, I couldn't have thought of a bigger waste of money in terms of like bang for buck.

02:04:09.000 And like, what did I actually learn?

02:04:10.000 Well, I remember when we were talking about all the madness that was going on in schools, and people are like, why do you care about this?

02:04:16.000 This is happening in college.

02:04:17.000 I'm like, they're going to eventually graduate and they're going to have this ideology and they're going to get into corporations.

02:04:24.000 They're going to get into business.

02:04:26.000 They're going to carry this with them and try to enforce these crazy rules.

02:04:30.000 Or you know somebody like your kids having problems and you go to a therapist and they're just like psycho.

02:04:35.000 Like there was, we would talk about modalities of therapy.

02:04:37.000 One of them, someone floated and the teacher was like, oh yeah, for sure.

02:04:40.000 It was called like, it was, I don't know what it was called.

02:04:42.000 It was like activism therapy where you get people politically active in order to like motivate them and enrich their lives.

02:04:47.000 And I was like, you can't do that.

02:04:49.000 You can't take it like a confused, existentially adrift person and be like, this is what you need to do.

02:04:55.000 Politically active.

02:04:56.000 I swear to God, dude, it was there was there was like really creepy stuff going on there.

02:05:01.000 And it was all just like complete group think.

02:05:03.000 You couldn't like if you said anything outside of like what was acceptable, you would just get punished.

02:05:07.000 The teachers would kind of even like, some of them would try to like scold you or be like, yeah, okay, dude.

02:05:13.000 And it's like, it's, it's a lot.

02:05:14.000 It would, I could see it why it would just break people because I would like, my heart would be beating.

02:05:18.000 I don't really like conflict like that.

02:05:20.000 But it was also like, dude, some of the stuff you're like, I can't not say anything.

02:05:20.000 Yeah.

02:05:23.000 This is insane, dude.

02:05:24.000 Did you ever talk about this on stage?

02:05:26.000 No, I've never really talked about being in social work.

02:05:29.000 Oh my God.

02:05:29.000 It's like there's gold in them, Dar Hills.

02:05:33.000 It was fun.

02:05:34.000 That time of the podcast, I would leave school.

02:05:36.000 Then I come back to the podcast.

02:05:37.000 I'm like, bro, you won't believe what the fuck these people are saying.

02:05:39.000 You say it on the podcast?

02:05:41.000 Oh, that's awesome.

02:05:42.000 It just seems like it's a great gold mine for stand-up.

02:05:45.000 Yeah.

02:05:46.000 Like, because you have a very unique experience.

02:05:49.000 True.

02:05:50.000 As a window into how crazy people are in school.

02:05:54.000 No, it was, it was terrifying, man.

02:05:54.000 Yeah.

02:05:56.000 And then the weirdest part is like after years went by, they were like, do you want to get your PhD here?

02:06:02.000 I was like, no.

02:06:03.000 After COVID?

02:06:04.000 After it all, I just wanted your money.

02:06:07.000 Exactly.

02:06:08.000 I saw that and I was like, man, get the hell out of here.

02:06:10.000 It would be nice to be calling yourself Dr. Matt, though.

02:06:12.000 Bro, don't think I didn't think about it.

02:06:13.000 Come on, dog.

02:06:14.000 Come on, dog.

02:06:16.000 That just shows you how many kooky doctors there are out there.

02:06:16.000 I know.

02:06:19.000 That really opened my eyes.

02:06:20.000 I thought doctors were like the smartest people in the world.

02:06:22.000 And I went to like higher education.

02:06:24.000 I'm like, this is fucking insane.

02:06:25.000 Yeah.

02:06:26.000 Anyone can, you could be a doctor, dude.

02:06:28.000 Anyone could, I mean, obviously, like, anyone could be a fucking doctor.

02:06:31.000 Especially about some subjects, right?

02:06:32.000 Exactly.

02:06:33.000 Not like hard sciences.

02:06:33.000 That's a thing.

02:06:35.000 Not hard science.

02:06:36.000 If you want to be a doctor, you could go for like anthropology, whatever.

02:06:40.000 No problem, dude.

02:06:40.000 Yeah.

02:06:42.000 No.

02:06:42.000 And they can't say shit.

02:06:43.000 Like, you can make up, you can like make your thesis on anything and be like, excuse me.

02:06:48.000 Well, did you ever see what Peter Bogosian and James Lindsay and Ellen Pluckrose did?

02:06:55.000 Do you know what they did?

02:06:56.000 No.

02:06:57.000 They made these fake academic papers.

02:07:00.000 I saw that.

02:07:00.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:07:02.000 like heteronormative something in dog parks.

02:07:05.000 They were talking about like gay experiences with dogs have it was like a peer-reviewed paper.

02:07:10.000 Fat bodybuilding was one of them.

02:07:13.000 And these, they were like celebrated.

02:07:13.000 Yeah.

02:07:15.000 These papers were celebrated.

02:07:17.000 Dude, it would go 100% with the theory, like the critical race theory and all that stuff you cover.

02:07:22.000 When you get into it, you're like, it was, and I remember like saying this, it was very like, it reminded me, because I'd been outside of Walmart and someone handed me like a pamphlet and it was like white supremacy literature.

02:07:32.000 And when you read that stuff, you read the first two sentences, you go, okay, that sounds legit.

02:07:37.000 And then it just, there's like huge quantum leap in reasoning.

02:07:39.000 You're like, whoa, how the fuck did we get here?

02:07:41.000 A lot of that's very similar where it'll make a thing like you just, no one can disagree with.

02:07:45.000 Right.

02:07:45.000 And then it jumps real quick and you're like, just complete group think.

02:07:48.000 Yeah.

02:07:49.000 But it was, that was scary to be like, damn, dude, these people are going to be like, these people are therapists working with kids, older people, you know, this and that.

02:07:49.000 Yeah.

02:07:56.000 You know, and it was just like, I was like, how is this the people supposedly like, you know, guiding people through life or like taking people who are lost or suffering and being, you know, I don't know.

02:08:06.000 It was, it was kind of rough.

02:08:07.000 Because the animus against a person who like thought differently, it was palpable and like very severe to where it was like, dude, and the funniest part was like, I was, again, I was in that high school in the inner city.

02:08:20.000 The school was like 97% black, the rest Latino.

02:08:23.000 And they were like, how would your students feel about your podcast material?

02:08:26.000 I'm like, they don't give a fuck.

02:08:28.000 They would laugh.

02:08:29.000 Like they have bigger fish to fry than being like, what did you say on a podcast?

02:08:33.000 It's like, they're like high schoolers in Philly fighting for their lives.

02:08:37.000 How did your students feel?

02:08:38.000 That was the big disconnect.

02:08:39.000 I'm like, you guys have like, I don't know, man.

02:08:41.000 Like, they would even teach you.

02:08:42.000 This would crack me up.

02:08:43.000 I was like thinking about this the other day where they would tell you, if you had a client and, you know, say your client was black and, you know, I'm a white guy, I should lead by going like, how do you feel about the fact that I'm white and you're black?

02:08:58.000 I was like, dude, you guys realize you're in a classroom studying how to talk to a black person.

02:09:03.000 I'm like, that's fucking weird.

02:09:04.000 I was like, just talk to, like, you can just talk to them, man.

02:09:07.000 And if that comes up, you can tackle it.

02:09:09.000 But like, you're uncomfortable.

02:09:10.000 And then you're going like, so black person, how do you feel that I'm white?

02:09:14.000 It's like, dude, that is, and they would push back against me.

02:09:16.000 I'm like, no, no, no, you guys can't do that.

02:09:18.000 That's crazy.

02:09:19.000 Well, you were actually applying it in the real world.

02:09:21.000 They were just exhibiting, they were just hanging out in these circle jerks.

02:09:25.000 Exactly.

02:09:26.000 And a lot of them would be like, you know, I'm social justice, blah, blah, blah.

02:09:28.000 And you're like, all right, where's your field placement?

02:09:30.000 That was like your, you know, that was like your internship.

02:09:32.000 And they're like, oh, I'm out in like the main line.

02:09:34.000 It's like a really nice area in Philly.

02:09:36.000 It's like, I'm doing like a high school on the main line.

02:09:38.000 It's like, okay, dude.

02:09:39.000 It's like, you know, it's like, take that act somewhere else.

02:09:41.000 And it's like, those kids don't want to hear any of this shit at all.

02:09:44.000 And I would let you talk to them.

02:09:46.000 Like, if race comes up, I would talk to them.

02:09:48.000 But like, you, that would have been so crazy to take a black eighth grader and being like, I'm white.

02:09:53.000 How do you feel about that?

02:09:54.000 That would be so creepy and weird.

02:09:57.000 Isn't it crazy that they think you're obligated to bring that up?

02:10:01.000 You have an obligation to discuss it.

02:10:03.000 Also, it's like they fucking know.

02:10:05.000 They can see me.

02:10:06.000 I'm clearly white.

02:10:07.000 They know I'm white.

02:10:08.000 And it's like, exactly.

02:10:09.000 It's like, and if that talk, talk, talk, talk, and then you can like bring it up because it's a thing, but it's like leading with that.

02:10:16.000 I always be like least of their problems.

02:10:18.000 Exactly.

02:10:19.000 They're just probably happy someone takes an interest in them and is kind to them.

02:10:22.000 Dude, that was a big thing too.

02:10:24.000 Of like, you know, because you get them out of class and a lot of them, they'd be like, I'm fucking talking to this guy.

02:10:28.000 It's like, whatever.

02:10:28.000 And I would just chill and be like, you can just do your homework.

02:10:31.000 And then you just start helping them with their homework.

02:10:32.000 Like, what are you doing?

02:10:33.000 And then you eventually build rapport.

02:10:35.000 But it was just like, you know, I'm like, these are the teachers telling you this.

02:10:38.000 And you're like, fuck, dude, you guys are guiding people into this.

02:10:42.000 It was, dude, I walked away from that being like, God damn.

02:10:46.000 Well, there's a lot of people that think that like a lot of psychology and a lot of therapy is just complete horseshit.

02:10:53.000 And the argument about therapy being complete horseshoe in terms of like the academic study of it and applying it to people is that very few people, you know, get better.

02:11:04.000 I think it does help a lot of people, though.

02:11:06.000 And I think it really helps a lot of people if they're in a really bad place.

02:11:09.000 I think some people just want to talk to somebody.

02:11:12.000 Yeah.

02:11:12.000 And that can help too.

02:11:13.000 Yeah.

02:11:14.000 But it's like, what is the, what can you actually do for them in terms of like with the tools and the techniques of therapy versus just being a human and talking to a human and seeing their side of things and trying to tell them your perspective and trying to give them a rational point of view and giving them some maybe some things to work on.

02:11:40.000 But it's like, it's not a science.

02:11:42.000 Not at all.

02:11:43.000 And it varies so much between individuals.

02:11:46.000 Well, yeah, there's the individuals.

02:11:48.000 Then there's 40 million modalities of therapy.

02:11:50.000 So it's like you can be doing like CBT, which is like, that's supposedly the most scientific where it's like, there's a system.

02:11:56.000 It's a kind of rigorous.

02:11:57.000 You can have like Jungian stuff where you're like, what'd you, let's draw like a mandala based on your dreams.

02:12:01.000 Or you can just be like, let me just be nice to this person who's never had anyone be nice to them.

02:12:06.000 And then let them kind of open up.

02:12:08.000 And like, yeah, I think they did a study one time where they took, they let people who weren't trained therapists be therapists and they didn't find a giant difference in terms of like who was getting what result.

02:12:19.000 But then there's, it is a skill, though.

02:12:21.000 Like it's a skill.

02:12:21.000 That's the other thing.

02:12:22.000 It's a hard job.

02:12:23.000 Yeah.

02:12:24.000 But I think you're totally right where it's like, it all depends on the person.

02:12:27.000 Have they, are they in touch with what's fucked the therapist?

02:12:30.000 Do they know about like what's fucked up with them?

02:12:31.000 And like because you can like, I don't know, man.

02:12:34.000 It's, it's such a crapshoot.

02:12:35.000 And it's like, I think it can be beneficial.

02:12:38.000 I think like being stuck in it your whole life, I don't know about that because it just becomes a thing where you start performing and you're like, fuck, let me.

02:12:45.000 Well, a lot of people feel like you have to be in therapy and everybody should be in therapy.

02:12:49.000 Yeah.

02:12:50.000 I don't know.

02:12:51.000 Like, I remember I didn't do it ever.

02:12:53.000 And then when I went to school for therapy, they're like, you got to go, you got to go to therapy so that like you can know what it's like and blah, blah, blah.

02:12:59.000 It's like, fair enough.

02:13:00.000 And I genuinely walked in there being like, I'm about to blow this lady's mind.

02:13:03.000 She's going to be like, I've never met a guy so put together.

02:13:06.000 And then like I went in there and she kind of picked me apart and I was like, fuck, I'm kind of fucked up.

02:13:09.000 I didn't know that.

02:13:11.000 That's funny.

02:13:11.000 But it was, I, for real, was like, I'm going to, this lady's about to be like, bro, let me just tell you about my life.

02:13:16.000 I like, for real, had so much fun.

02:13:18.000 You're going to be the therapist for her.

02:13:20.000 I thought I was a chosen one.

02:13:25.000 It was good, though, because like they, the one thing they can do is like, if you're in a family system and you have no other like, you know, available worldviews, you're, you're locked in that.

02:13:35.000 So a therapist can be somebody outside of a system you would never wise ever have access to who can let you run like things through your head in a way you would never think of.

02:13:44.000 That I think is good.

02:13:45.000 But then it's like, you know, at a certain point, it's like, I feel like you should get in, get out.

02:13:49.000 Kind of like, all right, here's some things.

02:13:51.000 It's like, there's like acceptance commitment therapy.

02:13:53.000 That's good.

02:13:54.000 It's like they teach you how to be like mindful, how to like monitor your thoughts without having them like completely attached.

02:13:59.000 There's like, there are like skills you can learn.

02:14:01.000 Yeah.

02:14:02.000 But it's like, dude, fucking, and the money of it's crazy.

02:14:05.000 Like, that's the other thing.

02:14:06.000 Like, it's so expensive.

02:14:08.000 Right.

02:14:08.000 And does insurance pay for it for most people?

02:14:10.000 How does it?

02:14:11.000 It depends.

02:14:12.000 It'll cover it for some.

02:14:14.000 You have to be that you have to get a therapist in that network.

02:14:16.000 And then they have to diagnose you.

02:14:18.000 If insurance wants to, if you want your insurance to cover you, that therapist has to diagnose you with a mental disorder or some sort of mental thing.

02:14:24.000 Oh, do they have to prescribe something for you?

02:14:27.000 I don't think they have to prescribe.

02:14:28.000 No.

02:14:29.000 Do they have to just give you your bipolar adjustment disorder is the one where it's like.

02:14:29.000 That's interesting.

02:14:34.000 But with psychiatrists, like, I wonder how many of them are just like incentivized to put you on something.

02:14:41.000 Probably a ton.

02:14:41.000 They're just like doctors.

02:14:42.000 Right.

02:14:43.000 So, and then some of them just swear by it.

02:14:45.000 They're like, just take this, take that, take this.

02:14:46.000 Yeah, I have a friend who went to a psychiatrist and he said that like immediately, like first meeting, this guy's trying to put him on antidepressants.

02:14:54.000 And he's like, well, I don't think I need that.

02:14:54.000 Yeah.

02:14:58.000 Like, I'm not that fucked up.

02:15:00.000 I'm just not happy.

02:15:02.000 I'm sad.

02:15:02.000 Yeah.

02:15:03.000 It's also first meeting is crazy because it's like, let's see what your life's about.

02:15:06.000 No, he's like, let's get you on this and it'll make you feel better.

02:15:09.000 Yeah.

02:15:09.000 And we'll work from there.

02:15:11.000 Well, some of those guys are like ruthless materialists where you're like, yeah, your brain's just fucked up, dude.

02:15:16.000 Did you ever see the Sipowski guy?

02:15:18.000 Yeah, Robert Spalding.

02:15:19.000 Yeah, I think he's great.

02:15:20.000 I loved his lectures, but his last book, and again, this was like from him promoting it.

02:15:24.000 I didn't read it, but his argument was like, yeah, we just all have different brains.

02:15:27.000 And if you're like, you know, if you're like a fucking home invader or a burglar, it's just your genes suck.

02:15:33.000 And like, we shouldn't never punish anybody.

02:15:34.000 We should just kind of like keep people aside and just rehabilitate.

02:15:37.000 Basically saying like you have no choice over what you do at all.

02:15:40.000 Free will is a complete illusion.

02:15:42.000 Yeah, the determinism argument.

02:15:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:15:45.000 Yeah, I don't know about that argument.

02:15:46.000 I mean, obviously free will is real, but obviously you are affected by your genes, your life circumstances, your past behavior, all the experiences that you've had.

02:15:57.000 There's a lot of factors.

02:15:58.000 To say that will doesn't mean anything, well, then why is inspiration so important?

02:16:03.000 Why do people love inspiration?

02:16:05.000 Why do people love like a good pep talk?

02:16:07.000 Why do people love a good motivational video that gets you out of the house?

02:16:10.000 Like, obviously, there's will involved.

02:16:11.000 Yeah.

02:16:12.000 And will is the thing that turns you into a jelly roll at 500 pounds to jelly roll at 200 pounds.

02:16:20.000 Like that's what will does.

02:16:22.000 Yeah.

02:16:23.000 Like that is, that's a real thing, man.

02:16:25.000 That's not a, it's not a fake thing.

02:16:27.000 This idea of free will.

02:16:29.000 It's no determinism that led Jellyroll to decide to start walking.

02:16:32.000 That was hardcore will.

02:16:35.000 No, I agree.

02:16:35.000 Yeah.

02:16:36.000 I don't, that argument always bothers.

02:16:38.000 I like Sipalsky.

02:16:38.000 I liked a lot of his stuff.

02:16:39.000 That argument just bothers me because it's like, okay, you're taking the idea of will and just switching it with like this nebulous, like what there's like an isotope in your brain that is all, it gets switched on and then you're able to, it's just, to me, it's such a like a just a weird point to kind of like try to push across where like there's no free will.

02:16:56.000 It's just your gene activates and then you do the thing and it's like, I guess, man.

02:17:00.000 But then you can like change your genes apparently by like acting a certain way.

02:17:04.000 So it's like, you know, that's, I just never like that stuff, man.

02:17:08.000 It's a weird argument, but there's validity to both perspectives.

02:17:12.000 There's validity to the perspective that free will is a real thing, but also determinism is a, it's a giant factor in how many people live their lives the way they live them.

02:17:22.000 Yeah.

02:17:23.000 Especially if you're in a shit circumstance, you're in a terrible gang-ridden community, you get beaten in your house, your mom's on crack, there's chaos everywhere.

02:17:34.000 The idea that you're going to come out of this writing vegan poetry is insane.

02:17:37.000 It's true.

02:17:38.000 It's insane.

02:17:39.000 That's true.

02:17:40.000 That's insane.

02:17:41.000 You're a product of your environment, at least to a certain extent.

02:17:43.000 And usually someone finds something that they love that gives them an outlet and then they get out of there.

02:17:50.000 The problem with the determinism stuff for me is like, because I do get that.

02:17:53.000 It's like, you know, yeah, if you have a horrible upbringing and you do a whole, you know, you kill people, it is like, yeah, I get it.

02:17:59.000 Like, if I that had been me, maybe I can do that.

02:18:01.000 And like, he's like, maybe we should treat everyone a lot more kindly and not punish people.

02:18:05.000 And it's like, I'm all on board with that.

02:18:07.000 It all for me, it all stops at pedophiles.

02:18:09.000 We're supposed to just like poo-poo a pedophile.

02:18:09.000 And it's like, so what?

02:18:12.000 It's like, part of me is like, we should probably fucking fry those guys.

02:18:15.000 Where it's like.

02:18:16.000 Well, that's one of the craziest things about this whole, what's going on, the woke shit in academia, is they're starting to call them minor attracted persons.

02:18:23.000 So there's like legitimate academics who are describing pedophiles as minor attracted persons and that it doesn't mean that they're evil.

02:18:23.000 Yeah, that's true.

02:18:32.000 It's like, what?

02:18:34.000 Yeah.

02:18:35.000 I know, and that's the problem.

02:18:36.000 It's like, especially if you have kids.

02:18:38.000 Like, I don't know anybody who has kids who has that perspective.

02:18:41.000 If you did, you have to be like a sick fuck, like to think that it's, oh, it's just a minor attractive person that fucked my kid.

02:18:41.000 No.

02:18:48.000 Yeah, well, and that's the whole thing, too, where it's like, we're all just bags, you know, of like jeans, and we're this material goo that just does something sometimes.

02:18:48.000 Like, what?

02:18:55.000 It's like, all right, well, let me fucking squash this pedophile.

02:18:58.000 Then let me, if we're all just bags of goo, so let me, you know, crush this guy.

02:19:01.000 But it's like, right, it's okay to board a child, but it's not okay to kill a pedophile.

02:19:05.000 Explain.

02:19:05.000 I know.

02:19:06.000 Yeah, that's where it gets for me all that like determinism.

02:19:06.000 Help me.

02:19:08.000 Like, we should just be kind and have a more rational approach to criminal justice.

02:19:12.000 It's like, for sure.

02:19:13.000 And then it's like, ah, fuck pedophiles.

02:19:15.000 It's like, yeah, you can't.

02:19:17.000 Pedophiles, serial killers.

02:19:19.000 Yeah.

02:19:20.000 There's a lot of rapists.

02:19:21.000 There's a lot of different people you could throw into that.

02:19:23.000 One of the interesting things about Sapolsky is he did some crazy work on toxoplasmosis.

02:19:29.000 That's how I really got into him.

02:19:31.000 Yeah, he was the guy that we first started reading about that was saying that a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims, when he was doing his residency, the guy who he was working with, one of the surgeons, would test the motorcycle victims for toxoplasmosis.

02:19:31.000 Really?

02:19:48.000 And he said a giant percentage of them have this cat parasite.

02:19:53.000 I've heard about this.

02:19:53.000 Oh, yeah.

02:19:54.000 This cat parasite alters behavior.

02:19:56.000 It makes you more reckless.

02:19:58.000 It makes you more prone to erratic mood swings.

02:20:02.000 It makes you more aggressive.

02:20:03.000 It's interesting.

02:20:04.000 A disproportionate amount of successful soccer teams have high levels of toxoplasmosis.

02:20:04.000 Yeah.

02:20:11.000 Countries with higher toxoplasmosis.

02:20:11.000 Damn.

02:20:13.000 There could also be countries of higher toxoplasmosis don't have any money.

02:20:18.000 It's easier to get a soccer ball.

02:20:19.000 People get good at soccer.

02:20:20.000 It's a way out of the game.

02:20:21.000 I mean, a way out of bad neighborhoods.

02:20:24.000 But this motorcycle victim thing is nuts because we know it affects human behavior.

02:20:30.000 And we also know that it affects animal behavior.

02:20:33.000 It makes cats, it grows inside cats' guts.

02:20:36.000 It's the only way that it reproduces.

02:20:38.000 So what it does is it rewires a sexual reward system of rodents.

02:20:43.000 And like mice and rats get turned on by the smell of cat piss.

02:20:48.000 So they go to seek out cat puss with like a boner, like literally.

02:20:51.000 And they lose all their fear of cats so that the cats devour them.

02:20:55.000 And so when the cats devour them, then that parasite is now inside the cat's gut, which is where it reproduces.

02:21:01.000 So that's why they tell pregnant women you should never touch cat litter.

02:21:05.000 Really?

02:21:06.000 Yeah.

02:21:07.000 It's toxoplasmosis.

02:21:08.000 And they think it does the same thing in humans where it just makes you like kind of amps up your drives.

02:21:12.000 Yeah.

02:21:12.000 Damn, that's you know what else is nuts too?

02:21:14.000 Because you were saying that's more in like certain countries that are like developing.

02:21:17.000 Well, it's in rural areas, any places where people have like outdoor cats.

02:21:23.000 Yeah.

02:21:24.000 But there was one point where in France, it was like 50% of the people had toxo.

02:21:28.000 Jesus Christ.

02:21:29.000 Yeah, because it was wild cats everywhere.

02:21:31.000 Yeah.

02:21:31.000 And you got to think cats are, they're on your countertop.

02:21:34.000 Their fucking shit is on their paws.

02:21:37.000 I don't, that's the one thing.

02:21:38.000 Like, I have dogs.

02:21:39.000 I, I, cats are fine.

02:21:40.000 If I see a cat, I'll pet it.

02:21:41.000 But like, when I see people's cats on their countertop, and I don't get squeamish easily.

02:21:44.000 I'm just kind of like, ew, dude.

02:21:46.000 It's kind of gross.

02:21:47.000 Well, they shit in a box, they paw around in that box of shit and piss, and then they hop on your couch.

02:21:53.000 Yeah.

02:21:53.000 Just shit and piss on their paws.

02:21:55.000 Yeah.

02:21:55.000 Dogs go outside.

02:21:56.000 They take a shit.

02:21:57.000 They're good.

02:21:57.000 They come inside.

02:21:58.000 As long as your dog doesn't rub his asshole on your dinner plates, you're probably okay.

02:22:03.000 But I've had cats that walk on your plates.

02:22:05.000 They don't give a shit.

02:22:06.000 They'll take a seat on your plate.

02:22:07.000 Yeah, like you're like, I have to get a new plate now, you fuck.

02:22:10.000 What are you doing?

02:22:11.000 Get off of that.

02:22:12.000 They're funny, but I've seen every time I see them get out of the litter box and walk across people's countertops.

02:22:16.000 I'm like, dude.

02:22:17.000 It's funny.

02:22:18.000 I've always had them, though.

02:22:19.000 Well, I don't have them now because my kids are allergic.

02:22:21.000 When I was younger, I had them, and they are fun.

02:22:24.000 I like them.

02:22:25.000 They're fun pets.

02:22:26.000 They're cute.

02:22:27.000 They come over you and purr.

02:22:28.000 But it is weird that you have a box of shit in your house.

02:22:28.000 Yeah.

02:22:32.000 And there's a lot of people like they're lazy and you go over their house that they have a cat.

02:22:35.000 They're not cleaning that litter box enough.

02:22:37.000 And as soon as you walk in, they'll.

02:22:39.000 Fucking waft of piss and shit.

02:22:41.000 Yeah, it hits you in the like, bro.

02:22:42.000 You're just smelling this all day.

02:22:44.000 So bad.

02:22:44.000 I would need an outdoor.

02:22:45.000 I used to let stray cats come in my house when I lived.

02:22:48.000 After college, I lived in a house by myself in Philly.

02:22:50.000 It was like a small house.

02:22:51.000 And a lot of the houses on the street have been knocked down.

02:22:54.000 So there's only like, there were row homes, but I had a standalone row home.

02:22:57.000 There's a lady across the street at a standalone row home.

02:22:59.000 They just knocked all the houses next to us down and like two other people.

02:23:02.000 And I would let the stray cat into my house be like, oh, just, you know, you can come stay in here.

02:23:06.000 But I'd be like, you can't, like, this thing can't get in my bed.

02:23:08.000 And like, by like three days, that thing was like curled up next to my face.

02:23:12.000 I got a fucked up eye infection.

02:23:14.000 Yeah.

02:23:15.000 It was called epigemic.

02:23:16.000 No, it's called epidemic keratoconjunctivitis.

02:23:18.000 It's called shit in your eye.

02:23:20.000 Literally, it was, but the eye doctor was like, hi doctor goes, I only see this.

02:23:23.000 This is like in third world countries.

02:23:25.000 And dude, for six months afterwards, after it got cleared up, they had to shut the thing down and clean the whole eye practice.

02:23:32.000 Afterwards, my eye at 10 o'clock would start to droop.

02:23:35.000 Whoa.

02:23:35.000 Because the white blood cells would rush to my eye.

02:23:38.000 So I would be out, dude, for six months after this thing.

02:23:40.000 It finally cleared up because it was viral.

02:23:42.000 They're like, there's nothing you can do for it.

02:23:44.000 I would go out.

02:23:45.000 My eye would just start drooping.

02:23:46.000 I'd be like, I got to go home.

02:23:48.000 I got to go home.

02:23:49.000 I would feel like I had fucking.

02:23:51.000 I feel like I had fucking sand in my eye.

02:23:51.000 Yes.

02:23:53.000 Highly contagious, severe eye infection caused by adenovirus, typically types A, 8, 19, 37, cause rapid onset of red, painful, watery eyes, often with light sensitivity, blurred vision, and swollen eyelids.

02:24:07.000 Whoa.

02:24:07.000 Dude, I would wake up in the morning, my eyelid was, it was stuck together, and I have to pull it open.

02:24:12.000 And then I saw the movie Ray.

02:24:13.000 Remember the beginning of Ray when his eyes get all globbed up?

02:24:16.000 I was like, dude, am I going blind?

02:24:17.000 This would suck.

02:24:18.000 That would suck if you got blind from a cat's asshole.

02:24:20.000 That would fucking suck, dude.

02:24:21.000 Bro.

02:24:22.000 Yeah.

02:24:23.000 A friend of mine has shingles on his face.

02:24:26.000 His whole face is all swollen up and he's worried he might go blind.

02:24:26.000 It's crazy.

02:24:30.000 He has it now?

02:24:30.000 Yeah, he just got it.

02:24:32.000 He's an older guy, and he just got it.

02:24:33.000 What is shingles like when you don't get chickenpox and it like comes and gets you afterwards?

02:24:38.000 I don't think so.

02:24:39.000 I think it's a form of the herpes virus that affects older people in particular.

02:24:45.000 Older people are terrified of it.

02:24:47.000 They get shingles vaccinations and shit.

02:24:51.000 Is that what it is?

02:24:52.000 I thought chickenpox was herpes too.

02:24:55.000 I always heard that if you don't get chickenpox as a kid, you might get shingles as an adult.

02:24:55.000 Oh, really?

02:24:59.000 My uncle got shingles and he said sucked.

02:25:02.000 Known as herpes zoster, a viral infection that causes a painful rash.

02:25:06.000 It stems from the reactivation of the viricella zooster virus, the same one responsible for chickenpox, which lies dormant in nerve tissues after the initial infection.

02:25:17.000 So after you get the infection, then you can get shingles.

02:25:20.000 Oh, no.

02:25:20.000 After chickenpox resolves, the virus remains inactive in the body's nerve cells.

02:25:25.000 Factors like aging, weakened immunity, or stress can trigger reactivation, leading to shingles.

02:25:31.000 Most commonly in adults over 50.

02:25:33.000 Yeah.

02:25:34.000 Yeah, my friend is like in his 60s.

02:25:35.000 That sucks, dude.

02:25:36.000 Yeah.

02:25:37.000 That's rough.

02:25:39.000 A lot of older people are scared of shingles.

02:25:41.000 Yeah.

02:25:42.000 My uncle got it.

02:25:44.000 Is the shingles vaccine effective?

02:25:46.000 Does it prevent shingles?

02:25:48.000 Is that one of the legit ones?

02:25:50.000 This says vaccines like shingrix reduce rift significantly.

02:25:57.000 Antiviral drugs shorten outbreaks if started early.

02:26:02.000 Oh, you got to get on it right when you see the first bump.

02:26:05.000 Oh, you suck, dude.

02:26:07.000 Somebody knows kids got MRSA from swimming in one of those.

02:26:09.000 Oh, dude, it was scary.

02:26:11.000 We got the pictures.

02:26:12.000 It was just like bubble.

02:26:13.000 It looked crazy.

02:26:14.000 MRSA is terrifying.

02:26:16.000 Yeah.

02:26:16.000 That's all from people taking antibiotics.

02:26:19.000 Or it was staph.

02:26:20.000 Staff and MRSA.

02:26:20.000 Staff.

02:26:21.000 Staph is the more dangerous one.

02:26:21.000 Yeah, it was staph.

02:26:23.000 Excuse me.

02:26:23.000 MRSA is the more dangerous one because MRSA is medically medical resistant stuff.

02:26:28.000 Okay.

02:26:29.000 Medicine resistant.

02:26:30.000 So this was just staph.

02:26:31.000 So it was like a giant bubble on their hand.

02:26:33.000 It looked crazy.

02:26:34.000 I've had staph.

02:26:35.000 Did you really?

02:26:36.000 I've had it a couple times.

02:26:36.000 Oh, yeah.

02:26:37.000 I got it from jiu-jitsu.

02:26:39.000 A lot of people get it.

02:26:40.000 Yeah.

02:26:40.000 It's real common.

02:26:42.000 Like a lot of people get it and they don't even realize they have it until it's too late.

02:26:46.000 Like, Ari had it, and he didn't even know he had it.

02:26:48.000 We were playing pool once, and he was limping.

02:26:50.000 He was walking around.

02:26:51.000 I go, why are you limping?

02:26:52.000 And he goes, oh, I got a spider bite.

02:26:53.000 And he was doing jiu-jitsu.

02:26:54.000 I bought him a year of jiu-jitsu for Christmas.

02:26:57.000 I forced him to celebrate Christmas.

02:26:57.000 Yeah.

02:27:01.000 I didn't say it's Hanukkah.

02:27:02.000 I got him for Christmas.

02:27:04.000 But I go, let me see.

02:27:06.000 And he rolls his pants up and I see this bubble.

02:27:10.000 on his knee with like a pus center of it.

02:27:13.000 And I go, we're going to the hospital right now.

02:27:14.000 He goes, are you serious?

02:27:16.000 I unscrew my cue.

02:27:17.000 I go, you have to go to the hospital right now.

02:27:18.000 I go, right now.

02:27:19.000 I go, that's staph infection.

02:27:21.000 And he was like, why don't they fucking tell us about it?

02:27:23.000 Why aren't there signs at the gym warning you about?

02:27:25.000 I'm like, that's a good point.

02:27:27.000 Like, you kind of have to hear about it from somebody.

02:27:30.000 Yeah.

02:27:30.000 I found out about it from my friend Tate.

02:27:33.000 Shout out to Tate Fletcher, my homie.

02:27:35.000 We were at the airport once and I had shorts on and I had just like my foot sitting up like this.

02:27:41.000 He goes, what's on your calf?

02:27:42.000 I had like little pimples on my calf.

02:27:44.000 I'm like, I don't know, nothing.

02:27:46.000 And he goes, dude, I think that's staph.

02:27:48.000 And I'm like, what?

02:27:49.000 Like, these are like little zits.

02:27:51.000 You think that's staph?

02:27:52.000 And he goes, yeah, you should go get that checked out.

02:27:53.000 And I went to the doctor and he said, yeah, that looks like staph.

02:27:56.000 He goes, I'm going to put you on antibiotics right away and we're just going to swab it and send it in, but I don't want to wait.

02:28:00.000 And I got on it right away.

02:28:02.000 And so I killed it quick.

02:28:03.000 But I remember the antibiotics.

02:28:07.000 Dude, you feel so weird when you're on there.

02:28:10.000 Yeah, he's like so tired.

02:28:12.000 I hate taking them, man.

02:28:14.000 Some guys fight on them.

02:28:15.000 I know guys that have got staph infections in the UFC, fought off the staph infection with antibiotics and then fought on the antibiotics, which is crazy.

02:28:25.000 Yeah.

02:28:26.000 I don't know how you'd have any endurance.

02:28:28.000 No.

02:28:29.000 I also like they messed my stomach up so bad.

02:28:29.000 I always feel weird.

02:28:32.000 Oh, yeah.

02:28:33.000 But my stomach's fried everywhere.

02:28:34.000 Well, my friend Gordon Ryan, that's his belt up there.

02:28:37.000 He's the greatest jiu-jitsu grappler of all time.

02:28:39.000 He has to retire because he got staffed so many times that he was taking antibiotics so often that it fucking nuked his gut bacteria.

02:28:47.000 Ah, fuck.

02:28:48.000 And like, he can't hold food down.

02:28:50.000 He throws up all the time.

02:28:51.000 Sucks.

02:28:52.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

02:28:53.000 He's been dealing with it for years.

02:28:55.000 And he just announced on Instagram really recently that he has to retire.

02:28:59.000 Dude, I got he can't train.

02:29:01.000 That sucks.

02:29:02.000 I fucking played.

02:29:02.000 And he's the greatest of all time.

02:29:03.000 And he just had, he's done.

02:29:04.000 And he's 30.

02:29:05.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:06.000 That sucks.

02:29:08.000 Like, unanimously regarded as the greatest grappler of all time.

02:29:11.000 And that's it.

02:29:12.000 Yeah.

02:29:13.000 He's gone like 10 years undefeated, beating the best fighters in the world.

02:29:18.000 He's like time off.

02:29:19.000 Can he just take like he's trying?

02:29:21.000 He's done that.

02:29:22.000 He hasn't competed in a couple of years.

02:29:23.000 He can't do it.

02:29:24.000 He can't train.

02:29:25.000 That sucks.

02:29:26.000 It's like it keeps coming back.

02:29:28.000 Dude, I had eczema one time and it came up on my, it was like on my legs and it was on my dick.

02:29:36.000 And I thought it was ringworm because it was like a perfect circle.

02:29:39.000 So I go to the, you know, I go to the whatever, urgent care, and I'm like, I got fucking ringworm.

02:29:44.000 And they're like, that's weird.

02:29:45.000 Usually doesn't get one there.

02:29:46.000 But they're like, just put fucking, you know, lotrim.

02:29:49.000 I think what I muscle.

02:29:50.000 Yeah, like lotramen, that shit.

02:29:52.000 So I put lotramen on my dick and it just dried like the whole thing.

02:29:57.000 It was like, it was disgusting.

02:29:59.000 So then I had to go back to another urgent care.

02:30:02.000 And it would have been like the second or third time.

02:30:03.000 I just showed like a fucking shriveled, flaccid, like chap's red penis.

02:30:08.000 I showed this one nurse who goes, like, I don't know.

02:30:11.000 Calls in another nurse.

02:30:13.000 And I'm like, fuck.

02:30:14.000 All right.

02:30:15.000 I don't know what that is.

02:30:15.000 She comes in.

02:30:16.000 They call him someone else.

02:30:17.000 I'm like, oh, a third nurse.

02:30:18.000 Giant black guy comes in.

02:30:19.000 I'm like, no, no, no.

02:30:25.000 You know, he's going to laugh as soon as he leaves.

02:30:27.000 Bro, he was probably, I can't believe.

02:30:29.000 Yeah, it was bad.

02:30:31.000 And then finally, I finally went to a dermatologist and I, dude, you can look it up.

02:30:36.000 Center City Dermatology run by just like a babe.

02:30:40.000 Like, it's on the website.

02:30:41.000 Everyone knows this who's ever gone there.

02:30:43.000 My friend, I was talking about it one time.

02:30:44.000 My friend was like, bro, I know exactly what you're talking about.

02:30:46.000 She comes in, checks it out, and she's like, dude, you had, you know, that wasn't even ringworm.

02:30:51.000 And then she gave me this cream and it like cleared it right up.

02:30:53.000 So I had to show like my chap.

02:30:57.000 It was like a leprosy, bro.

02:31:00.000 That's whoa.

02:31:01.000 That's just for us.

02:31:01.000 Yeah, dude.

02:31:02.000 She saw me at my worst, dude.

02:31:04.000 Hilarious.

02:31:05.000 So I had to show it to like four people.

02:31:06.000 It was like a leprosy penis.

02:31:08.000 And then eventually she was like, oh, no, dude, take like, it was like a cordosteroid, cleared it right up.

02:31:13.000 I know people that have had eczema that went on a carnivore diet and they went away.

02:31:17.000 I can't have, I can't have gluten.

02:31:19.000 That's the thing.

02:31:20.000 I've been allergic to gluten for a while.

02:31:22.000 And if I kind of backslide on that, it's like I'll get little eczema flare-ups.

02:31:25.000 A lot of people are allergic to it.

02:31:27.000 And a lot of people don't think it's actually the gluten.

02:31:30.000 They think it's actually how they finish the crops with glyphosate.

02:31:34.000 I've heard about that.

02:31:35.000 Yeah.

02:31:36.000 Which kind of makes sense because like, why are all these gluten intolerant?

02:31:41.000 Nobody heard about those in the 70s.

02:31:43.000 No.

02:31:43.000 There was no one gluten intolerant.

02:31:45.000 No, it was, dude, weird.

02:31:47.000 The weird thing is my mom, she's always been a health person.

02:31:50.000 She got this book because she had health problems in like, it might have been the 80s.

02:31:54.000 My aunt was a nurse, gave her this book, and my mom self-diagnosed gluten allergy in like the 80s.

02:32:00.000 And everyone's like, you're out of your fucking mind.

02:32:02.000 Like nobody has this, blah, blah, blah.

02:32:05.000 And yeah, and then like when I was in college, I was like, dude, like, I feel like my, every time I swallow food, it feels stuck in my throat.

02:32:11.000 I have like gas.

02:32:12.000 I'm burping.

02:32:13.000 My stomach's fucked up.

02:32:14.000 I'm not sleeping.

02:32:15.000 I was having like racing thoughts and shit.

02:32:17.000 And she was like, oh, try not eating gluten for a while.

02:32:19.000 Dude, it cleared it up.

02:32:20.000 Like it was insane.

02:32:22.000 I wonder if that's the same with like gluten that you get in Europe where they're not using any glyphosate.

02:32:27.000 No, that's what I heard.

02:32:27.000 You can eat, apparently you can go eat it, you know, in Europe and it's fine.

02:32:31.000 I remember I took a test finally and it was like, it was like one of those like internet blood test things.

02:32:36.000 And I came up like allergic to not even the gluten.

02:32:40.000 It's like gliding, which is like another protein inside of wheat, which I don't know if it's at the same thing or what.

02:32:45.000 It was just like an allergy to it.

02:32:47.000 I showed it to Shane.

02:32:49.000 It was moderate and he goes, moderate.

02:32:50.000 You're a pussy.

02:32:52.000 Have a pizza.

02:32:54.000 I was like, fuck.

02:32:55.000 Why did I show you?

02:32:56.000 He was always like, everyone's like, it's fake.

02:32:57.000 It's in your head.

02:32:58.000 You're full of shit.

02:32:59.000 So I finally have proof.

02:33:00.000 I'm like, what are you going to do about it now?

02:33:01.000 He goes, moderate, pussy.

02:33:03.000 Like, fuck.

02:33:04.000 It's one of the worst intolerances to have because the food is so delicious.

02:33:08.000 Like, think about it.

02:33:10.000 Spaghetti, lasagna, bread, sandwiches.

02:33:14.000 I don't, and eating the gluten-free bread is like not, it's not.

02:33:17.000 At that point, you just go, like, I'm not eating bread.

02:33:19.000 It's not really good.

02:33:21.000 In order to make it good, you have to put so much shit in it that you're like, I might as well not eat that.

02:33:25.000 I've been off gluten since I was like 21.

02:33:27.000 Wow.

02:33:28.000 And then anytime I would like backslide at a restaurant where they cook with it and stuff, it would, you know, fuck me up.

02:33:33.000 Weirdly enough, though, if I get enough sunlight, I can tolerate a lot more stuff.

02:33:39.000 I guarantee that's a vitamin D thing.

02:33:41.000 I think, I don't know.

02:33:41.000 It's weird, man.

02:33:42.000 Every time I go to a doctor, they're just like, bro, I don't know.

02:33:44.000 I don't know what to tell you.

02:33:45.000 Well, vitamin D is good for your immune system, and these are autoimmune issues.

02:33:49.000 It makes sense that they would kind of be connected somehow or another.

02:33:53.000 Yeah, because I couldn't eat.

02:33:54.000 After the gluten, it was like, then I couldn't eat dairy.

02:33:56.000 And then every time I'd get sunlight, I could eat the day.

02:33:58.000 It was fucking weird.

02:33:59.000 What nuts is the sunlight thing?

02:34:00.000 Like, for so long, people are saying, stay out of the sun.

02:34:03.000 Sun's going to kill you.

02:34:04.000 And now they're going, no, no, no.

02:34:04.000 It's crazy.

02:34:06.000 You need to get in the sun or you're going to die.

02:34:08.000 I know.

02:34:10.000 What's the new, we got the new food pyramid now?

02:34:12.000 I know.

02:34:13.000 Well, a lot of people are so angry.

02:34:15.000 They're so angry at RFK Jr. for flipping the food pyramid.

02:34:18.000 But there's so much evidence that this is the accurate way to eat.

02:34:21.000 This is the way people are supposed to be eating.

02:34:23.000 It's like whole foods, like actual food, like vegetables, meat, fish.

02:34:27.000 Like, that's what you're supposed to eat.

02:34:28.000 Like actual food that people have been eating for thousands of years.

02:34:31.000 That's how you're supposed to eat.

02:34:32.000 Dude, that's the one I, that's the stuff to backlash against them.

02:34:35.000 That I'm like, I don't get it, man.

02:34:36.000 It's like getting like the weird shit out of foods that they don't have in Europe for like schools and stuff.

02:34:41.000 That was always the left wing's position.

02:34:41.000 And it's like.

02:34:43.000 I do.

02:34:44.000 It was like, no preservatives, no additives, natural foods.

02:34:47.000 I know that.

02:34:47.000 And that's the thing, too.

02:34:48.000 Like, I love because I have all these food allergies.

02:34:50.000 So, like, I got to go to like a hipster-y kind of like rainbow flag restaurant.

02:34:55.000 That's the only place I can eat from.

02:34:56.000 So I'm like, I know you guys like this.

02:34:57.000 Why are you pretending to not like getting rid of like Red 40 and all that shit?

02:35:01.000 Because it's connected with Trump, because RFK Jr. is a part of this party, well, part of this administration.

02:35:08.000 And so it became a political thing.

02:35:10.000 People are just so silly.

02:35:11.000 They'd rather commit suicide.

02:35:12.000 They'd rather poison themselves than admit that he's right.

02:35:15.000 It's insane.

02:35:16.000 Just be like, dude, just give him one and be like, all right, that's actually a good one.

02:35:18.000 But it's that resistance to recognizing maybe this person that I don't agree with because he's connected to this other person that I don't agree with.

02:35:28.000 Maybe he's got some good points.

02:35:30.000 Maybe if a person that was like someone that I aligned with ideologically had the same points, I would be like, yes, thank you.

02:35:39.000 Yes, these preservatives are terrible.

02:35:41.000 Yes, these dyes are terrible.

02:35:42.000 Yes, this is bad for you.

02:35:44.000 Yes, you should have warning labels.

02:35:45.000 Yes, other countries have banned these products.

02:35:48.000 Why do we have them?

02:35:49.000 Dude.

02:35:49.000 Yes.

02:35:50.000 And especially if you have kids, it's like, dude, you worry more about that than like your kids not eating a bunch of crazy bullshit.

02:35:56.000 It's like, dude, just let it go.

02:35:56.000 Yeah.

02:35:58.000 You can be like, all right, like, I don't like this, but that's fucking rot.

02:36:01.000 Let's let them cook on that.

02:36:01.000 I like that.

02:36:02.000 And it's like, well, so many people that aren't religion, don't have religion in their life, they worship science.

02:36:09.000 Like science, they treat it as if this is like a doctrine and a dogma.

02:36:15.000 And if you don't support it, you're a heretic.

02:36:17.000 Yeah.

02:36:18.000 Something wrong with you.

02:36:19.000 It's like, well, do you know those people?

02:36:21.000 These scientists, like a lot of them are fucking severely compromised.

02:36:24.000 They're compromised by financial incentives.

02:36:26.000 They're compromised by academic incentives.

02:36:29.000 They're trapped in these systems where you're forced to have groupthink.

02:36:33.000 You have this top-down control.

02:36:35.000 The people that are at the top are controlled and connected to these pharmaceutical drug companies.

02:36:39.000 They're pushing these ideas.

02:36:40.000 Like, this isn't all clean.

02:36:42.000 They're hanging with Epstein too.

02:36:44.000 Is that crazy?

02:36:44.000 I know.

02:36:45.000 I love scientists, man.

02:36:46.000 Thank God I wasn't a scientist.

02:36:47.000 Isn't that weird?

02:36:48.000 It's so weird.

02:36:49.000 It's so fucking creepy.

02:36:50.000 Yeah.

02:36:51.000 And the science, dude, the science shit is like, because I do know this from going to a master's.

02:36:56.000 I know you need to understand statistics.

02:36:58.000 You need like a very serious understanding of statistics to actually make sense of those studies.

02:37:03.000 And I never was able to do that.

02:37:05.000 But it's like, you can read those studies and like, oh, look at this.

02:37:07.000 It's a graph.

02:37:08.000 Everything's going up.

02:37:09.000 And it's like, yeah, but like, what was like the percentage of this?

02:37:13.000 And it's like statistics is for real, like magic to me, where it's like, it's so slippery and weird.

02:37:17.000 And like, you can make one thing look this way.

02:37:19.000 And it's, you can arrange the data in a different way.

02:37:21.000 And you're like, oh, shit, the fucking thing went up and now this is better.

02:37:24.000 It's like.

02:37:25.000 Well, that's what pharmaceutical drug companies do for sure.

02:37:28.000 They'll run multiple studies and then throw out all the ones that show no efficacy and even hide dangerous side effects.

02:37:36.000 They hide them.

02:37:37.000 Yeah, I think they're allowed to do as many.

02:37:38.000 I remember reading a book on antidepressants like years and years ago.

02:37:41.000 And I think they were allowed to do as many studies as it needed to show basically what they wanted to say.

02:37:47.000 Which wasn't even good.

02:37:48.000 It was like 50%.

02:37:50.000 We had a lawyer in here that he'd worked on cases with pharmaceutical drug companies.

02:37:56.000 And one of the things he said that was really crazy was he found out that the pharmaceutical drug companies don't, when they get peer-reviewed, when their papers get peer-reviewed, they don't have to give the data to the scientists.

02:38:07.000 They give their review of the data to the scientists, and then it gets peer review.

02:38:13.000 Damn.

02:38:15.000 That's fucked up.

02:38:15.000 It's like rig.

02:38:16.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

02:38:17.000 So rigged.

02:38:18.000 Remember the study that was like, if you drink one glass of wine, you're going to be healthy?

02:38:21.000 Yeah.

02:38:22.000 That was complete bullshit.

02:38:23.000 That was made by a body of science that was like promoted by the big alcohol companies.

02:38:27.000 It was completely false.

02:38:28.000 I know so many people who are like, dude, it's good for me.

02:38:31.000 Oh.

02:38:32.000 I need alcohol every day.

02:38:33.000 They were also saying Resveratrol.

02:38:35.000 That was one of the things.

02:38:36.000 And it's also just like, eat your fucking grape then.

02:38:36.000 Yeah, grape shit.

02:38:38.000 Well, also, take Resveratrol.

02:38:40.000 It's a good supplement.

02:38:41.000 And the amount that you get in supplements is like far exceeds a glass of wine.

02:38:46.000 You have to drink the whole bottle.

02:38:47.000 And then you're hammered.

02:38:47.000 Yeah.

02:38:50.000 Your liver's destroyed.

02:38:52.000 Yeah, that shit always threw me off.

02:38:54.000 And I remember at the time being like, there's no fucking way.

02:38:57.000 That's true.

02:38:58.000 Yeah.

02:38:58.000 Like, no, you hang out more and you're less lonely.

02:39:01.000 I think there's something to the relaxation of alcohol that like at least it makes you feel better.

02:39:07.000 And I think feeling better is a part of like having a better life and having a better, a healthier mind.

02:39:14.000 Because there's something about people that are just riddled with anxiety and thinking about things all the time.

02:39:19.000 There's a lot of people out there that are just, they don't have the tools to navigate this fucked up world.

02:39:24.000 And so they're always like, a little drinky poo every now and then.

02:39:28.000 Maybe not bad for them.

02:39:29.000 Maybe a little just fuck it juice.

02:39:31.000 Like, ah.

02:39:32.000 Yeah, true.

02:39:32.000 If you drop the cortisol at nighttime.

02:39:34.000 Just a little bit.

02:39:35.000 A little relaxation.

02:39:36.000 There's a lot of people that like, one of the only things keeping them hanging on is a drink at night.

02:39:41.000 You know, just a little drink, just nothing crazy.

02:39:44.000 Yeah.

02:39:45.000 Killing yourself.

02:39:46.000 Yeah, I wouldn't want to take that from somebody either.

02:39:48.000 Yeah, I don't want to take that from people.

02:39:49.000 That's true.

02:39:50.000 I wouldn't want to take that, but it is.

02:39:51.000 It's just nuts to be like, this is actually really good for you.

02:39:54.000 It's like, well, it's lesser two evils for sure.

02:39:56.000 Or weren't they trying to say that fruit loops were healthier for you than ground beef?

02:40:01.000 Wasn't that one of the studies?

02:40:03.000 Was it really?

02:40:04.000 They had comparisons.

02:40:06.000 They had a chart, like where things fit on the healthy versus not healthy.

02:40:11.000 That's fucking insane.

02:40:12.000 Well, the old food pyramid was the best.

02:40:14.000 It was like cereal, bread, and pasta.

02:40:17.000 That was what you're supposed to eat.

02:40:18.000 Base, not most of your food.

02:40:20.000 You're supposed to be charged on just fucking like elbow macaroni.

02:40:24.000 That was for real growing up.

02:40:26.000 That's what it was.

02:40:27.000 I remember.

02:40:28.000 Meanwhile, people in France, they're eating loaves of bread and they don't get fat.

02:40:31.000 I know.

02:40:32.000 And they're healthy.

02:40:32.000 I know.

02:40:33.000 That is fucking weird.

02:40:34.000 We're getting poisoned.

02:40:35.000 Yeah.

02:40:36.000 Everyone who comes here from another country is like, I feel horrible.

02:40:39.000 They have a hot dog.

02:40:40.000 Are they fucking vomiting in a trash can?

02:40:46.000 All right, dog.

02:40:47.000 Let's wrap this up.

02:40:48.000 Can I have one more thing?

02:40:49.000 Please going around Wexner's deposition from the oversight committee came out like the full video did today.

02:40:49.000 Yeah.

02:40:57.000 And there's this clip going around that I don't know what the context is.

02:41:00.000 It's on the screen right now.

02:41:00.000 I'll show you.

02:41:03.000 Okay.

02:41:03.000 I just want to play it and see.

02:41:04.000 He says, I'll fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words.

02:41:08.000 Okay.

02:41:12.000 I'm going to fucking kill you.

02:41:13.000 Answer another question.

02:41:14.000 I'm going to do five words.

02:41:15.000 Okay.

02:41:18.000 Answer.

02:41:20.000 Okay.

02:41:20.000 He seems like he's joking.

02:41:22.000 He seems like it, but.

02:41:23.000 He wants him to answer questions very short answers.

02:41:26.000 I keep seeing people saying you're not allowed to be coached in a deposition.

02:41:30.000 Oh, that makes sense.

02:41:32.000 I don't know if this is a problem.

02:41:33.000 I'll fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words.

02:41:37.000 Okay.

02:41:37.000 That's hilarious.

02:41:38.000 And he thought he could whisper that.

02:41:39.000 That's crazy.

02:41:42.000 That's so fucked up.

02:41:45.000 What is their relationship?

02:41:46.000 Like, do they fuck around like that?

02:41:47.000 Yeah, I can't tell.

02:41:48.000 It's really hard to tell.

02:41:49.000 It's hard to say what that is.

02:41:50.000 That almost was kind of charming.

02:41:51.000 I'm like, that was kind of like sweet, actually, in some weird way.

02:41:55.000 They're saying, fucking kill you.

02:41:56.000 His answers to this are pretty tough already, I can see.

02:41:58.000 He's like, I had no idea.

02:42:00.000 They're like, you stealing money from me.

02:42:01.000 ABC reported this five years ago.

02:42:02.000 I was like, fucking crazy.

02:42:04.000 That's news to me.

02:42:05.000 He didn't know that Epstein was stealing money from that.

02:42:07.000 That's what he's saying in some of these clips.

02:42:11.000 We'll see how this goes.

02:42:12.000 Yeah, true.

02:42:13.000 If nothing ever happens, people are going to lose all faith in everything.

02:42:18.000 If nothing happens from all this, if Prince Andrew's the only one who goes down.

02:42:22.000 And what if he just gets a slap on the wrist?

02:42:23.000 He's completely hitting a slap on the wrist.

02:42:25.000 He's not going to like fucking maximum security.

02:42:27.000 He's not going to like Oz.

02:42:28.000 He's not going to be in there doing burpees and shit.

02:42:30.000 He's going to be in protective custody.

02:42:32.000 I never got to go.

02:42:33.000 He's only in jail for 11 hours.

02:42:35.000 He's technically out now.

02:42:36.000 Right, but he's going to be tried.

02:42:39.000 Right?

02:42:39.000 We'll see.

02:42:40.000 Well, see, the thing is, like, I never thought he'd be arrested.

02:42:43.000 I never thought that would happen.

02:42:45.000 I thought, like, they'd strip him of his printship or whatever it is.

02:42:48.000 That's it.

02:42:49.000 Banishing him to a cat.

02:42:50.000 And then they kicked him out of the estate.

02:42:52.000 I was like, whoa, things are getting serious.

02:42:53.000 Yeah, I think they saw.

02:42:55.000 I think they got to see the stuff there.

02:42:57.000 They must.

02:42:57.000 Bro, what the fuck?

02:42:58.000 They must.

02:42:59.000 Yeah.

02:43:00.000 All right.

02:43:01.000 Let's wrap this up.

02:43:02.000 Dude, it's been a lot of fun hanging.

02:43:04.000 Hell yeah.

02:43:04.000 Club.

02:43:04.000 It's been good times, dude.

02:43:06.000 Dude, it's been awesome.

02:43:07.000 It's fun watching your act grow, too.

02:43:08.000 It's really funny, man.

02:43:09.000 Thank you.

02:43:10.000 It's really great.

02:43:10.000 And you're where this weekend?

02:43:13.000 Salt Lake.

02:43:13.000 Salt Lake City in Boise, Idaho.

02:43:16.000 Go get some tickets, folks.

02:43:17.000 Go see them.

02:43:18.000 Matt McCusker, fucking hilarious.

02:43:20.000 Appreciate you, brother.

02:43:20.000 Great game.

02:43:21.000 Very funny.

02:43:22.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - February 20, 2026

Joe Rogan Experience #2458 - Matt McCusker

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