The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2471

00:00:15.000 Hey, Charlie Kirk.

00:00:17.000 No.

00:00:18.000 Don't shoot him.

00:00:22.000 Dog's a Nazi.

00:00:24.000 He's going to sit right here and chill out.

00:00:24.000 All right.

00:00:28.000 What up, dog?

00:00:29.000 New Netflix special out now.

00:00:30.000 You got that right, Fed.

00:00:31.000 Let's fucking go.

00:00:32.000 None, too, please.

00:00:33.000 Check it out.

00:00:34.000 We just hit number five, so I'm trying to get to Uno.

00:00:37.000 Well, maybe this will do it.

00:00:38.000 Hopefully.

00:00:39.000 I'll put it up on my Instagram when the show runs.

00:00:39.000 Hopefully.

00:00:42.000 All right.

00:00:42.000 Thank you.

00:00:43.000 Everything helps.

00:00:45.000 It's a saturated market.

00:00:47.000 I know.

00:00:48.000 There's 19 comedy specials a day now.

00:00:50.000 YouTube and Hulu and the other things.

00:00:52.000 4chan.

00:00:53.000 It's not just that.

00:00:54.000 There's like just you're competing with content.

00:00:58.000 You think about how many fucking shows there are now.

00:01:00.000 It's kind of nuts.

00:01:01.000 I mean, forget shows.

00:01:02.000 There's shows.

00:01:03.000 There's TikToks.

00:01:04.000 There's reels.

00:01:04.000 There's shorts.

00:01:06.000 It never ends.

00:01:07.000 Never been a time where there's more things to watch and divide your attention.

00:01:11.000 I know.

00:01:12.000 And then there's the war.

00:01:13.000 Yeah.

00:01:14.000 There's the war.

00:01:15.000 There's so much to pay attention to.

00:01:16.000 There's politics.

00:01:17.000 There's OnlyFans.

00:01:18.000 Yeah.

00:01:20.000 So much to pay attention to, buddy.

00:01:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:23.000 So much, Charlie.

00:01:25.000 We'll just pretend that's Ari.

00:01:28.000 He's back.

00:01:29.000 Well, you know, Ari always gets too high and an hour in, he just shuts up.

00:01:33.000 Don't fall off the table.

00:01:35.000 Hey.

00:01:36.000 He looks like the Ayatollah now.

00:01:37.000 Have you seen him?

00:01:38.000 He's got the beard.

00:01:38.000 I know.

00:01:39.000 And he's gay.

00:01:39.000 Crazy.

00:01:40.000 He came to the club the other day.

00:01:41.000 He's gay now, too?

00:01:42.000 Yeah, the Ayatollah.

00:01:43.000 Oh, the new Ayatollah.

00:01:44.000 Yeah.

00:01:45.000 Is that real?

00:01:46.000 That's what Trump said.

00:01:47.000 I think that's his real.

00:01:48.000 He's never lied.

00:01:49.000 Oh.

00:01:50.000 I think they just try and fuck with the guy.

00:01:53.000 Because if you're gay in Iran, they just throw you off a building, right?

00:01:56.000 He's going to have to throw himself off.

00:01:57.000 You know, that was like one of the first places or the number one place in the world for transgender surgeries.

00:02:03.000 Because you couldn't be gay.

00:02:03.000 I heard that.

00:02:05.000 So you'd rather be a woman.

00:02:06.000 You have to be a woman.

00:02:07.000 You got to get fucked in the ass.

00:02:08.000 That's kind of progressive.

00:02:10.000 I can't get fucked in the ass.

00:02:10.000 Well, you can, I guess.

00:02:11.000 They don't check.

00:02:13.000 You get fucked in your fake cooter.

00:02:16.000 Fake cooter.

00:02:17.000 That's like an Austin bar.

00:02:19.000 Fake cooter.

00:02:20.000 It probably will be.

00:02:21.000 Yeah.

00:02:21.000 After this.

00:02:22.000 Iran.

00:02:23.000 I mean, they've got to be terrified.

00:02:25.000 I don't know much about anything, but I would be scared to fight a country that is having a fist fight on the White House lawn.

00:02:33.000 That's how badass and crazy we are.

00:02:35.000 We're fighting at the president's house, each other.

00:02:38.000 Yeah.

00:02:39.000 We're going to fuck you up.

00:02:40.000 I'm not thrilled about that.

00:02:42.000 You're going to be there?

00:02:43.000 Yeah, I'll be there, but I'm not thrilled about it.

00:02:46.000 Doesn't seem like a wise idea.

00:02:47.000 Yeah.

00:02:48.000 It looks like they're targeting their fucking reporter.

00:02:50.000 Whoa.

00:02:51.000 Hey, Charlie, come here, buddy.

00:02:53.000 Oh, this dog's going to be a whole different show here.

00:02:56.000 No, he'll calm down.

00:02:58.000 He just has to relax.

00:03:00.000 He's never been with me alone before.

00:03:03.000 He's only been with my wife alone, but he loves me.

00:03:06.000 He slept with me last night.

00:03:07.000 He sleeps in the bed with my daughter, so he slept with me last night.

00:03:11.000 Oh, boy.

00:03:12.000 You're a little bit.

00:03:14.000 That's good.

00:03:15.000 We got diversity here.

00:03:16.000 It's a brown dog.

00:03:18.000 Yeah, they attacked that reporter, man.

00:03:21.000 I mean, unless it was a wayward missile, which is like, what happened to precision strikes?

00:03:21.000 Crazy.

00:03:27.000 I thought they were surgical.

00:03:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:28.000 Remember they would call them surgical?

00:03:30.000 That's right.

00:03:31.000 Imagine calling a bomb that's going like 5,000 miles an hour surgical.

00:03:35.000 I think they got old equipment over there.

00:03:36.000 They got Atari and shit.

00:03:38.000 They're way behind.

00:03:40.000 But we hit a school.

00:03:42.000 That was on us, I think.

00:03:43.000 Yeah.

00:03:44.000 100%.

00:03:45.000 Even in our other countries, we're shooting schools.

00:03:47.000 Well, the school was unfortunately on.

00:03:49.000 What is it?

00:03:51.000 Whoa, is that the red?

00:03:52.000 Damn, that's quite a hit.

00:03:55.000 Whoa, that's nuts.

00:03:56.000 Jesus Christ.

00:03:57.000 It looks like L.A.

00:03:58.000 It's crazy that you can capture it.

00:04:00.000 Like, how good are these cameras?

00:04:02.000 Meanwhile, they couldn't catch that plane flying into the Pentagon.

00:04:06.000 That's true.

00:04:06.000 Right?

00:04:07.000 When you see that thing, that thing looks just like a missile, too.

00:04:10.000 Right.

00:04:10.000 What do you think that was, that plane that hit the Pentagon?

00:04:13.000 It doesn't really look like a plane.

00:04:14.000 Why would they be shooting a missile into a place that's already been hit by missiles?

00:04:18.000 And why is it in Russia?

00:04:20.000 Oh, that's just a reporter.

00:04:22.000 Russia Today reporter.

00:04:24.000 Oh, God, it got it.

00:04:25.000 Yeah, RT.

00:04:25.000 Sorry.

00:04:26.000 You know, that channel.

00:04:29.000 In Lebanon, oh, in Lebanon.

00:04:31.000 I wonder if they're going after press because they've gone after press before.

00:04:36.000 Interesting.

00:04:37.000 Yeah.

00:04:37.000 I mean, they've been accused of shooting press in Gaza.

00:04:40.000 Right.

00:04:41.000 Yeah.

00:04:42.000 Smart because they want to tell their own story.

00:04:44.000 They don't want you in there with your cameras.

00:04:46.000 Yeah.

00:04:47.000 What do you think about these Netanyahu AI videos?

00:04:50.000 I haven't seen them.

00:04:51.000 You haven't seen them?

00:04:52.000 They think he might be dead.

00:04:52.000 No.

00:04:54.000 What?

00:04:55.000 There's a bunch of AI videos that Israel has released that are like clearly AI.

00:04:55.000 Yeah.

00:05:01.000 What?

00:05:03.000 Show him the one where there's in the cafe.

00:05:06.000 This one's nuts.

00:05:08.000 Like this one, I would assume that some kid made.

00:05:11.000 Just fucking around on his computer.

00:05:11.000 Yeah.

00:05:13.000 All right.

00:05:13.000 Like I saw it.

00:05:14.000 I was like, there's no way they're really trying to pass this off as an actual video of Netanyahu at a cafe in the middle of the war.

00:05:21.000 Like everything is calm and peaceful.

00:05:23.000 I couldn't talk with that one.

00:05:24.000 Yeah, this one.

00:05:25.000 Well, that's just a clip.

00:05:27.000 Show the actual.

00:05:30.000 It's on the Israel website or the Israel Twitter page.

00:05:30.000 BB.

00:05:34.000 Oh, really?

00:05:35.000 Yeah.

00:05:35.000 No, they released it.

00:05:36.000 I didn't know that.

00:05:37.000 Holy moly.

00:05:38.000 It's dead.

00:05:39.000 That's crazy.

00:05:40.000 Well, his brother's dead.

00:05:41.000 His brother got killed in a missile strike.

00:05:43.000 Recently?

00:05:44.000 Yes.

00:05:44.000 What?

00:05:45.000 Yes.

00:05:46.000 They struck his house.

00:05:47.000 Are you just not online?

00:05:48.000 What's going on?

00:05:49.000 I just watch funny shit and goof around.

00:05:52.000 Let's see.

00:05:52.000 Pour some of that.

00:05:53.000 Let me go.

00:05:53.000 I got you, baby.

00:05:54.000 Give me some.

00:05:54.000 Come on.

00:05:55.000 Oh, hey, I thought you quit the sauce.

00:05:56.000 Oh, no, I got back on.

00:05:58.000 Hey!

00:05:59.000 I thought you turned Muslim or something.

00:06:01.000 I didn't know what happened.

00:06:01.000 Oh, God.

00:06:02.000 Hell yeah.

00:06:02.000 I'm back.

00:06:03.000 Alhamdulillah.

00:06:04.000 Pour me one.

00:06:05.000 Easy, Zoran.

00:06:08.000 Bodega cat.

00:06:09.000 Cheers, sir.

00:06:10.000 Cheers.

00:06:11.000 Hey, good to be back.

00:06:12.000 With Alvari's dead weight.

00:06:14.000 Holding us down.

00:06:15.000 I don't get drunk.

00:06:16.000 Oof, I might disobey this stuff, though.

00:06:19.000 But I have started drinking again.

00:06:21.000 I took like eight months off.

00:06:22.000 It was a good reset.

00:06:23.000 I mean, you're so sure.

00:06:24.000 I'll take a week off and I'm like limitless.

00:06:27.000 Well, I realized that because of the club, I was just drinking too much.

00:06:27.000 Yeah.

00:06:31.000 Right.

00:06:32.000 And I was just tired all the time.

00:06:33.000 Like, and I'd go to workout the next day.

00:06:35.000 I was like, God, I feel like shit.

00:06:36.000 Why am I doing this to myself?

00:06:38.000 And then I took eight months off.

00:06:40.000 Then I had a glass of wine with dinner.

00:06:41.000 I was like, ooh, I like it.

00:06:43.000 And then I had a margarita and I was like, ooh, I'm back.

00:06:45.000 It's a great time.

00:06:46.000 This one.

00:06:47.000 So look at this.

00:06:47.000 This is AI.

00:06:48.000 That's fake.

00:06:49.000 Well, people have zoomed in on the signs and stuff, and it's not even real writing.

00:06:55.000 And he's saying, look, I have five fingers.

00:06:57.000 We're joking around, you know, because there was an AI video before that people were criticizing because it looked like one of his fingers had grown an extra appendage.

00:07:07.000 Right.

00:07:08.000 I think that just looked like the crease of his hand, honestly, to me.

00:07:11.000 Yeah.

00:07:13.000 This looks fake as fuck.

00:07:14.000 First of all, it's weird because he sips out of the cup, and yet the cup stays exactly the same level.

00:07:22.000 And no matter where he moves the cup around, it doesn't spill.

00:07:26.000 Right.

00:07:26.000 Like there's a moment where he turns the cup like almost sideways.

00:07:32.000 It moves way too much for it to not spill at all.

00:07:35.000 And why would he just be doing it?

00:07:36.000 It looks like an ad for this coffee shop.

00:07:37.000 He's hanging out at a coffee shop during the war.

00:07:41.000 And also, like, how's everybody so casual?

00:07:43.000 Yeah.

00:07:44.000 He didn't tip, though, so that's the Judaism is coming through.

00:07:47.000 But yeah, no, this is crazy.

00:07:49.000 Looks like AI.

00:07:50.000 Like, he looks like he's got a beauty filter on.

00:07:52.000 That doesn't look like a human being.

00:07:54.000 Totally.

00:07:55.000 This is silly.

00:07:56.000 Let me hear what he's saying.

00:07:57.000 What is he saying?

00:07:58.000 Is it in Hebrew?

00:08:14.000 Look, everybody's happy to see him.

00:08:19.000 Can you imagine if you were in that coffee shop?

00:08:20.000 You're like, please leave.

00:08:21.000 Please leave before the bombs come.

00:08:23.000 Please leave before they target you.

00:08:25.000 They're trying to find that guy everywhere he fucking goes.

00:08:27.000 Yeah.

00:08:28.000 But the Saudi Arabia.

00:08:29.000 Look at that.

00:08:29.000 See, we got the Ayatollah in there, too.

00:08:31.000 They faked that one.

00:08:31.000 Look at that.

00:08:32.000 They're just showing you how easy it is.

00:08:35.000 There's some really good AI platforms now to know what they would have that they're not showing is who knows.

00:08:41.000 This is he's got, come on, he can't be dead.

00:08:44.000 His brothers.

00:08:44.000 He might be dead.

00:08:45.000 See, that's like, look at this.

00:08:46.000 Yeah.

00:08:47.000 Like the coffee, look how turned it is.

00:08:50.000 It doesn't spill at all.

00:08:52.000 It just wiggles to the edge.

00:08:53.000 And then they've also shown that, like, on the register and in some of the signs, the writing's not real.

00:09:00.000 It's very, very fucking weird, man.

00:09:02.000 Well, R.I.P. Drink one for Yahoo.

00:09:06.000 He hasn't been seen publicly in over a week.

00:09:09.000 So he might be gone.

00:09:11.000 Yeah, there's a lot of crazy shit going on.

00:09:12.000 I can't give up with the hormoose.

00:09:15.000 I don't know what that's about.

00:09:16.000 It's completely closed now.

00:09:18.000 They even bombed, like, the Saudis had another way to move oil out into another direction across the Red Sea, I believe it is.

00:09:26.000 And the Iranians bombed that yesterday.

00:09:30.000 Oh, yeah?

00:09:31.000 Yeah.

00:09:32.000 Yeah, it's getting hot, dude.

00:09:34.000 It's fucking scary.

00:09:35.000 Speaking live as we in front of people.

00:09:37.000 He's alive.

00:09:39.000 I don't know.

00:09:39.000 In front of people?

00:09:40.000 I just opened Twitter back up and this was there.

00:09:42.000 I wonder.

00:09:43.000 So if he is alive, I wonder why they would release that clearly AI video.

00:09:47.000 Because this looks like a normal human, right?

00:09:50.000 Yeah, kind of.

00:09:51.000 This doesn't look...

00:09:52.000 They say that privately.

00:09:54.000 It's a little glossy.

00:09:56.000 The woman owes a debt of deep indebtedness, deep indebtedness to President Trump for leading this effort to safeguard our future.

00:10:10.000 Yeah, but this guy's been trying to get war with Iran for decades, man.

00:10:14.000 Yeah, oh, yeah.

00:10:15.000 He's loving that.

00:10:16.000 And if he's not, by the way, if he's not in war, he's not in office anymore.

00:10:21.000 Oh, and then he gets indicted.

00:10:23.000 He's in the middle of at least one case, one corruption case.

00:10:30.000 Well, this is his Super Bowl.

00:10:32.000 He's in heaven.

00:10:33.000 So there's people in the audience, right?

00:10:34.000 So this is real.

00:10:36.000 I mean, there's that.

00:10:38.000 This angle doesn't show them.

00:10:39.000 It's like a static angle, but you can hear people's voices, which, you know, if we're going to be.

00:10:43.000 Oh, they don't show the people.

00:10:45.000 You could say that's fake.

00:10:47.000 I need to see the people.

00:10:48.000 I need to see somebody hug them.

00:10:49.000 So, wait, why are you going to do it?

00:10:50.000 I need to see somebody jerk him off.

00:10:52.000 I want to know it's real.

00:10:54.000 Let's see that no foreskin.

00:10:55.000 Can you imagine if they did show that?

00:10:56.000 They'd just show him just blasting like 12-foot arcs of rope.

00:11:03.000 Just fire hose of jizz to show how virile he is.

00:11:06.000 Manashevitz.

00:11:08.000 No.

00:11:09.000 Why are you not looking forward to the White House fight?

00:11:12.000 Well, it's kind of a gimmick.

00:11:15.000 Of course.

00:11:16.000 There's that.

00:11:17.000 And, you know, people are criticizing the card, but if it was any other card, it's a great card.

00:11:22.000 Just they're criticizing it because they said it was going to be the greatest card of all time.

00:11:25.000 And it's also, it's just going to be a security nightmare.

00:11:28.000 That's true.

00:11:29.000 You're on the White House lawn.

00:11:30.000 Also, they're fighting outside.

00:11:32.000 What if it rains?

00:11:32.000 What if it's hot?

00:11:33.000 You're in the middle of June.

00:11:35.000 Right.

00:11:35.000 June in D.C. can get pretty warm.

00:11:37.000 Yep, yep.

00:11:38.000 That affects fighters.

00:11:40.000 We only did one outside fight that I was a part of, and that was in Abu Dhabi.

00:11:45.000 And it was a nightmare.

00:11:46.000 It was really hot, and there was bugs flying around.

00:11:49.000 They're size of fucking birds.

00:11:52.000 It was crazy.

00:11:53.000 It's like stand-up.

00:11:54.000 You got to do it indoors.

00:11:55.000 100%.

00:11:56.000 Outside is hell for standing.

00:11:57.000 Yeah, it's terrible.

00:11:58.000 Terrible.

00:11:59.000 Most shows are bad outside.

00:12:01.000 Here's my idea.

00:12:02.000 We do White House fight, but we fight politicians.

00:12:05.000 Huh?

00:12:05.000 Get Bobert versus AOC?

00:12:07.000 Now that's a fight.

00:12:08.000 I like that.

00:12:09.000 But I think RFK would win everything.

00:12:11.000 I think Jasmine Crockett whoops them all.

00:12:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:14.000 She's feisty.

00:12:15.000 She'd take a shoe off.

00:12:16.000 She pulls the wig off, stuffs it in your mouth.

00:12:19.000 Black breathe.

00:12:20.000 Takes her earrings off.

00:12:21.000 I'm terrified.

00:12:22.000 Well, she's not a politician anymore.

00:12:23.000 She lost, right?

00:12:25.000 Yeah, but she'll be around.

00:12:26.000 They never leave.

00:12:27.000 Maybe.

00:12:28.000 They go forever, these guys.

00:12:29.000 Maybe.

00:12:30.000 Bernie's still cooking.

00:12:32.000 Yeah, but he's a senator.

00:12:33.000 He's been a senator forever.

00:12:34.000 I mean, she's lost.

00:12:37.000 So who knows what's going to happen now?

00:12:38.000 But Hillary's around.

00:12:39.000 What is she doing?

00:12:40.000 She's probably eating pussy.

00:12:43.000 Ah.

00:12:44.000 You think?

00:12:45.000 I hope.

00:12:45.000 I mean, she needs relief.

00:12:47.000 This guy.

00:12:48.000 This lady's.

00:12:49.000 I kind of like Hillary just because she's, you know, she got cheated on publicly with the Monica thing.

00:12:53.000 Now she's doing the Epstein's Island stuff.

00:12:55.000 She lost the presidential race, and she's still out there.

00:12:58.000 She's kind of a badass.

00:13:00.000 I would kill myself at this point.

00:13:03.000 Well, she's also got like a list of people that have mysteriously disappeared that are attached to her and Bill.

00:13:11.000 Oh, really?

00:13:11.000 Yeah, you don't know about that?

00:13:12.000 No.

00:13:13.000 For real?

00:13:14.000 You don't know about the Clinton body count?

00:13:16.000 I know Norm was on the view years ago when he said Clinton killed a guy.

00:13:20.000 Yeah, he said he killed a bunch of people, I think.

00:13:22.000 That's where I get my information.

00:13:23.000 It's a good way to get it from the view.

00:13:25.000 Super solid, detailed information.

00:13:27.000 But she's getting grilled by the Epstein people or about Epstein, and she's just going off.

00:13:34.000 And Bill's reminiscing.

00:13:35.000 Well, she walked, she stormed out because Lauren Bobert took a picture of her.

00:13:39.000 Oh.

00:13:40.000 And posted it online.

00:13:41.000 Like, that's it.

00:13:42.000 I'm leaving.

00:13:44.000 How are you allowed to leave?

00:13:46.000 Because somebody took a picture.

00:13:46.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:13:47.000 Sit the fuck down.

00:13:49.000 You're not even in office anymore.

00:13:50.000 You're just a civilian.

00:13:52.000 Sit your fucking ass down and answer the questions.

00:13:54.000 Yeah.

00:13:55.000 Like, it's just an excuse to leave.

00:13:57.000 But you got to head to Bill.

00:13:58.000 He's denying till he dies.

00:13:59.000 I did nothing.

00:14:01.000 I was only there for humanitarian purposes.

00:14:04.000 We got photos and everything.

00:14:06.000 I was just getting massages and hugging nice people.

00:14:10.000 Nothing untoward was done to me or anyone else that was there, as far as I know.

00:14:10.000 Exactly.

00:14:17.000 Yeah, this is pretty good.

00:14:18.000 I didn't see that side of Jeffrey Epstein.

00:14:22.000 You got to bring this back.

00:14:23.000 Hey.

00:14:27.000 We got photo evidence.

00:14:27.000 Look at this guy.

00:14:29.000 That lady's smiling.

00:14:30.000 If she claims victim, I call her shit.

00:14:32.000 She looks like she's having a good time.

00:14:33.000 Also, that's a woman.

00:14:34.000 You know, that's what's true.

00:14:35.000 Once you're a woman, okay, you know, unless someone's holding a gun to your head.

00:14:40.000 If we're talking about children, we're talking about a different thing.

00:14:43.000 But there's a lot of these ladies that were grown women when they were doing this.

00:14:48.000 And the emails that were exchanged between Epstein and these women, like they were well aware of what's going on.

00:14:55.000 At least some of them were.

00:14:56.000 There was this Russian lady who was talking.

00:14:58.000 She was recruiting girls.

00:14:59.000 She was saying this one's a fat ass.

00:15:02.000 She needs to lose some weight.

00:15:04.000 She's trying to get these girls to work with Epstein.

00:15:06.000 Right.

00:15:07.000 Who, just Lane?

00:15:08.000 No, it wasn't just Lane.

00:15:10.000 It was some other Russian lady.

00:15:12.000 Oh, damn.

00:15:13.000 Like, some of these ladies, at least, were like, look, the real criticism, the real legitimate criticism is where there are underage girls involved.

00:15:23.000 Now, clearly they were in Epstein's past.

00:15:26.000 He went to jail for it.

00:15:27.000 The whole Palm Beach thing with the underage masseuses.

00:15:31.000 But some of these are just ladies who did bad things.

00:15:36.000 They made bad decisions, and they probably wound up on that island for money.

00:15:40.000 Yeah.

00:15:41.000 A couple of horror moves.

00:15:41.000 Okay.

00:15:43.000 Hey, where you going, buddy?

00:15:44.000 Charlie.

00:15:45.000 You snuck out, little fucker.

00:15:48.000 I'm a little worried about.

00:15:49.000 I was hoping.

00:15:50.000 He looked like he was totally calm, just sitting in that chair.

00:15:54.000 Oh, Jamie's got him now.

00:15:55.000 Bro, you're locked up.

00:15:57.000 Jamie's used to having a little dog.

00:15:58.000 He's like, oh, he's giving you kisses.

00:16:01.000 Damn, not a Rogan fan, huh?

00:16:03.000 He doesn't like the pod.

00:16:04.000 He's bored.

00:16:04.000 No, he just doesn't know this environment.

00:16:07.000 I think he's a little weirded out.

00:16:09.000 And then he was out there with the mountain lion, stuffed mountain lions, gators, like in the werewolf.

00:16:13.000 He's like, what the fuck is this place?

00:16:15.000 He's never been here before.

00:16:16.000 And there's weed smoke.

00:16:17.000 There's dogs.

00:16:18.000 I think he's a little weirded out.

00:16:19.000 The cigars.

00:16:20.000 Right.

00:16:21.000 Everything.

00:16:22.000 He probably smells that.

00:16:22.000 Whiskey in here.

00:16:24.000 Speaking of which, you got any of those Stogies?

00:16:26.000 Yeah, let's bust them out.

00:16:27.000 I would love a Stogie.

00:16:28.000 Let's go.

00:16:29.000 Hell yeah.

00:16:30.000 Boy, see, I can't keep up with all the news.

00:16:32.000 You know about Epstein, you know about Iran, you know about Israel, you know about Hillary.

00:16:37.000 This is.

00:16:38.000 I barely know.

00:16:39.000 I'm off social media.

00:16:41.000 I've been off social media for a while.

00:16:43.000 The only time I'm on is when someone sends me something funny.

00:16:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:16:46.000 And I go and check it.

00:16:47.000 And then I find myself scrolling for like 30 seconds.

00:16:50.000 And I was stop.

00:16:51.000 That's how they get.

00:16:52.000 Stop fucking scrolling.

00:16:53.000 It's impossible.

00:16:55.000 He's so good at it.

00:16:56.000 These say Knuckle Sandwich.

00:16:58.000 Where did these come from?

00:16:59.000 Hmm.

00:17:00.000 Knuckle Sandwich is.

00:17:03.000 That can't be the same place.

00:17:05.000 Because there's a.

00:17:06.000 Isn't there a place?

00:17:07.000 There's Knuckle Sandwich, which is the sandwich truck in Austin, which is awesome.

00:17:12.000 And Chris Brown's album.

00:17:17.000 Guy Fieri cigars.

00:17:18.000 Oh, these are Guy Fieri cigars.

00:17:20.000 All right, let's hope they're good.

00:17:21.000 Did you see that Bachelorette who got kicked off for beating the shit out of her husband?

00:17:25.000 Yo.

00:17:26.000 Yeah, for real?

00:17:27.000 My wife's a big reality lady.

00:17:31.000 That's healthy.

00:17:32.000 I know, right?

00:17:33.000 She loves it.

00:17:34.000 All of those 90-day fiats.

00:17:35.000 They love that shit.

00:17:36.000 They love it.

00:17:37.000 That and true crime.

00:17:38.000 Yes, right?

00:17:39.000 Isn't it weird?

00:17:40.000 I get the true crime because they don't really commit those kind of violent acts, so they probably need to understand the male mind.

00:17:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:48.000 That makes sense to me.

00:17:48.000 Right.

00:17:50.000 Yeah.

00:17:50.000 But what I don't understand is, I mean, I don't know.

00:17:53.000 Maybe I'm just stuck up.

00:17:55.000 It's almost time for spring break.

00:17:57.000 So maybe you're headed to the beach, or maybe you're taking the kids on a road trip, or maybe you're just taking some extra time for yourself.

00:18:04.000 No matter what, you deserve a break and a reset, and AG1 can help.

00:18:08.000 AG-1 is your daily health drink.

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00:18:26.000 Just slip a few travel packs into your luggage and have a nice flight.

00:18:31.000 I've talked about AG1 for a long time, and it's not just me.

00:18:34.000 I know a lot of people enjoy it.

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00:19:02.000 Well, they say it's biological.

00:19:04.000 They're like, oh, I'm learning how to avoid these scary moments.

00:19:07.000 No, I get that because it is.

00:19:08.000 Like, my daughters, young daughters, they all love it.

00:19:11.000 Everyone loves it.

00:19:12.000 Their friends love it.

00:19:13.000 It's like the number one show with ladies.

00:19:13.000 Yeah.

00:19:15.000 Oh, yeah.

00:19:16.000 Like, the number one podcast with ladies is True Crime.

00:19:20.000 It's great.

00:19:21.000 You know what the number two show for ladies is?

00:19:23.000 What?

00:19:24.000 You're on it.

00:19:25.000 Hey, get out of here.

00:19:26.000 Really?

00:19:27.000 Number one with black people, too.

00:19:28.000 Holla.

00:19:28.000 Hey!

00:19:29.000 Take that, Shay Shay.

00:19:31.000 Holla.

00:19:35.000 All right.

00:19:36.000 Shout out to all my African-American friends.

00:19:38.000 Hell yeah.

00:19:39.000 These are not bad.

00:19:40.000 Guy Fieri.

00:19:42.000 Let's go, guy.

00:19:43.000 I love Guy.

00:19:46.000 He's a fun dude.

00:19:47.000 Cool dude.

00:19:48.000 Got a bunch of yellow cars, though.

00:19:49.000 That's odd.

00:19:50.000 Yeah.

00:19:51.000 Yeah.

00:19:52.000 Not the best fashion sense.

00:19:54.000 You know, shirts with flames on it, frosted tips.

00:19:57.000 Yeah, but you're paying attention.

00:19:58.000 That's true.

00:19:59.000 Like, if you want to be a chef and you want to be like a celebrity chef, you got to either be a great narrator and a great writer like Bourdain.

00:20:07.000 Or you got to be like angry.

00:20:07.000 Yeah.

00:20:09.000 Like Gordon Ramsey.

00:20:11.000 Gordon Ramsey.

00:20:12.000 Yeah.

00:20:12.000 That's true.

00:20:13.000 But what happened to show?

00:20:14.000 When I was a kid, chefs were like fat guys with beards and now they all have they're jacked with tats.

00:20:19.000 Yeah, well, they're all they all look like artists because they are artists.

00:20:23.000 I guess.

00:20:23.000 But it's I didn't really think of that until I watched Bourdain show.

00:20:26.000 And then I was like, oh, these guys are making temporary art.

00:20:29.000 That's true.

00:20:30.000 Then you get to eat it.

00:20:31.000 But it is art.

00:20:31.000 Yeah.

00:20:32.000 It is art.

00:20:33.000 Yeah.

00:20:33.000 They're mixing oils.

00:20:34.000 There's a lot of chemistry.

00:20:36.000 But they kind of went the same path as porn stars.

00:20:38.000 Porn stars used to be like voluptuous and hairy, bush, and now they're all like, they're all like MMA fighters.

00:20:45.000 They're jacked and taking it in the ass.

00:20:49.000 It's wild.

00:20:50.000 They're all tatted up and pierced and shit.

00:20:52.000 One of the things that I've been watching a lot when the world is going completely crazy, I watch people making street food in other countries.

00:20:59.000 With no language, no talking.

00:20:59.000 Oh, that's true.

00:21:01.000 It's all ASMR.

00:21:03.000 It's all them cooking.

00:21:04.000 Oh, yeah, and no regulations either.

00:21:05.000 Bring them over here.

00:21:06.000 Bring them over here.

00:21:07.000 Come on.

00:21:07.000 They're not washing hands over there.

00:21:09.000 Char char.

00:21:10.000 Char char, have a seat.

00:21:12.000 And they'll use roadkill or whatever.

00:21:13.000 Like, they don't, they don't give a shit.

00:21:15.000 No, they're they're they're using good food.

00:21:17.000 It was Afghanistan.

00:21:18.000 They were making roast chicken.

00:21:19.000 Oh, come on.

00:21:20.000 Dude, I'm telling you.

00:21:22.000 I'll send it to Jamie and you'll watch it.

00:21:23.000 All right.

00:21:24.000 It's exciting.

00:21:24.000 All right.

00:21:25.000 I mean, I ate halal trucks for 10 years when I was broke in New York.

00:21:28.000 They're great.

00:21:29.000 They are great.

00:21:29.000 But I could be eating pigeon and children.

00:21:33.000 Not children, but definitely pigeon.

00:21:35.000 Probably pigeon's made it into your mouth a couple of times.

00:21:38.000 All right.

00:21:39.000 Let me find these motherfuckers.

00:21:41.000 I watch so much, dude.

00:21:42.000 YouTube is my number one thing because it's off social media.

00:21:45.000 I love it.

00:21:46.000 It's my number one thing for distraction.

00:21:50.000 Whoa.

00:21:51.000 This is exactly.

00:21:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:21:52.000 Jamie, you're the best.

00:21:54.000 Most cheap food in Afghanistan.

00:21:54.000 This is it.

00:21:56.000 This guy sets up, they cook all this stuff, and you watch.

00:22:00.000 I mean, it's like a 40-minute video or something.

00:22:02.000 How long is it?

00:22:03.000 Yeah.

00:22:04.000 It's like a 40-minute video.

00:22:05.000 I watched the whole thing.

00:22:07.000 Just like at home, chilling after a long day's work, just watching people cook street food in Afghanistan.

00:22:13.000 It looks fucking delicious.

00:22:15.000 Look at those spices.

00:22:16.000 My God.

00:22:18.000 Yeah, and they have meat in this stew pot, and they, well, it's like, you know, a big wok, it looks like.

00:22:25.000 Yeah.

00:22:26.000 And they boil it up with all the salt and all these herbs and spices.

00:22:31.000 And then they got these roast chickens and they take these chickens and they stick them in spikes.

00:22:35.000 If you back up the video a little bit, it's earlier in the video.

00:22:38.000 You show they take these chickens and they just have this big flame in the middle.

00:22:42.000 And then they stick these chickens all around the flame.

00:22:45.000 This is hell for a vegan.

00:22:47.000 The shape of that.

00:22:48.000 Fun fact, I think, if this is true.

00:22:50.000 That's because they used to flip their shields upside down.

00:22:53.000 Whoa.

00:22:55.000 That's sort of like with the Genghis Khan stir-fried.

00:22:58.000 Oh, that's grilled.

00:23:01.000 That makes sense.

00:23:01.000 I love it.

00:23:02.000 Yeah, man.

00:23:04.000 Wouldn't it be great if the end is just a big drone strike?

00:23:07.000 Well, we don't bomb Afghanistan anymore.

00:23:09.000 We send them money.

00:23:10.000 Oh, is that right?

00:23:11.000 Now we send the Taliban money.

00:23:12.000 Man, we send them a ton of money.

00:23:14.000 We hook up everybody.

00:23:14.000 Ukraine.

00:23:15.000 Should go back to the chickens, though, if you back up.

00:23:18.000 Oh, he's got a little brush.

00:23:19.000 No, you go.

00:23:20.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:23:21.000 So this is how he does it.

00:23:22.000 So they have this fire in the middle, and they just take these chickens on a stick and they just rotate them.

00:23:27.000 And they put them in the center.

00:23:28.000 They put the fire in the center and the chickens all around them and they rotate them.

00:23:32.000 I got so hungry.

00:23:32.000 I had to go in the kitchen and make myself food afterwards.

00:23:35.000 This is a chicken holocaust.

00:23:37.000 Yeah, it looks good, right?

00:23:38.000 Man, it does look amazing.

00:23:40.000 Oh, dude, it looks fucking delicious.

00:23:42.000 I mean, you ever get the rotisserie chicken at the grocery store?

00:23:44.000 Oh, there's nothing better.

00:23:46.000 Pretty good.

00:23:46.000 It's good.

00:23:47.000 You just eat it with knife and fork.

00:23:48.000 No, no, no, nothing.

00:23:52.000 That's a good thing to do when you just want to be completely distracted.

00:23:56.000 That's what I like.

00:23:57.000 I like watching people make tables.

00:24:00.000 Furniture and shit.

00:24:00.000 Yes.

00:24:02.000 That the horse hoof cleaning is great.

00:24:05.000 I watch that too.

00:24:06.000 Ferriers.

00:24:07.000 Is that something in us, I think?

00:24:07.000 What is that?

00:24:09.000 It ate to old times.

00:24:11.000 It must be.

00:24:12.000 Like, there's a nail in his hoof.

00:24:13.000 Oh, get it out.

00:24:14.000 Get it out.

00:24:15.000 Get the gunk out.

00:24:16.000 Help the horse.

00:24:17.000 Yeah, and the horse loves it.

00:24:18.000 That's a good one.

00:24:19.000 What else is good?

00:24:21.000 The pressure washing is kind of fun.

00:24:23.000 That's what I'm really high.

00:24:24.000 I take an edible.

00:24:25.000 I just watch a guy, he's just washing a wall and it just goes from black toast to cement.

00:24:30.000 Yeah, 30 million views.

00:24:31.000 32 million.

00:24:32.000 33 million views.

00:24:33.000 Okay, so what is that?

00:24:35.000 Why are we so interested in watching people clean up horse hooves?

00:24:38.000 Well, I think part of it is it doesn't hurt the horse and it looks like it would.

00:24:42.000 So that's kind of fascinating because it's all what is that?

00:24:44.000 Like cartilage or it's all like fingernail stuff.

00:24:47.000 I guess so.

00:24:48.000 Giant fat fingernails.

00:24:49.000 Wow.

00:24:50.000 That's what it's like.

00:24:51.000 I mean, that's what a horse hoof is.

00:24:52.000 And if they don't take care of the hooves, they get real weird and they look like Arab shoes where they curl up at the tips.

00:24:59.000 Yeah, right, right.

00:25:00.000 Like that, like that.

00:25:01.000 There it is.

00:25:02.000 So this must be somebody just like completely neglected that poor horse.

00:25:06.000 But what did horses do in the uh they wear off from running around?

00:25:09.000 Oh, I see.

00:25:11.000 Yeah, just like a dog's fingernails.

00:25:13.000 Like you have to trim your dog's nails, unless the dogs run around outside a lot, and then you don't have to do anything.

00:25:18.000 Oh, the dogs don't have to be a little bit more.

00:25:18.000 Got it.

00:25:19.000 That's like rat teeth.

00:25:21.000 They never stop growing.

00:25:22.000 Rat teeth don't stop growing?

00:25:23.000 But beaver teeth don't, right?

00:25:24.000 Oh, is that right?

00:25:25.000 I didn't know.

00:25:25.000 Oh, shearing sheets.

00:25:26.000 Oh, this is good stuff.

00:25:28.000 Wow.

00:25:29.000 Isn't it amazing how many views?

00:25:31.000 How many views does that have?

00:25:33.000 I guess.

00:25:34.000 Yeah, 23 million.

00:25:36.000 100 million subscribers on the channel.

00:25:37.000 I'm going to go 80 million.

00:25:39.000 3 million subscribers.

00:25:41.000 3.7.

00:25:42.000 3.7 million.

00:25:43.000 Oh, God.

00:25:44.000 This is just a Greek guy.

00:25:45.000 Look at that.

00:25:46.000 There's another guy that I love.

00:25:48.000 The channel's called Wilderness Cooking.

00:25:50.000 And this guy lives in Azerbaijan and he cooks in the mountains.

00:25:54.000 It always looks delicious.

00:25:55.000 And then at the end of it, he has a bite of it and he looks at you and he goes, Super.

00:26:00.000 He gives you a thumb up.

00:26:02.000 Yeah.

00:26:02.000 It's a great channel.

00:26:04.000 And that guy's got millions and millions of views.

00:26:06.000 This dude.

00:26:07.000 So he's always like he catches fish and he does all the things.

00:26:11.000 He makes his own fire and he's always cooking in weird ways.

00:26:16.000 See, this guy's way happier than all of us.

00:26:18.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:19.000 He's having a good time.

00:26:19.000 Well, he lives in peaceful mountains.

00:26:21.000 He's making delicious food.

00:26:23.000 Imagine him on cameo just saying super.

00:26:26.000 He could make a billion dollars.

00:26:28.000 Yeah, but happy birthday.

00:26:30.000 Super.

00:26:31.000 Wow.

00:26:33.000 Who makes the most cameo?

00:26:34.000 They're still doing that?

00:26:35.000 Yeah.

00:26:36.000 Really?

00:26:36.000 Yeah.

00:26:37.000 Who's like the number one earner on cameo?

00:26:39.000 That's a great question.

00:26:40.000 Sure, Dyno Might had a run.

00:26:42.000 It's got to be somebody with a catchphrase.

00:26:44.000 Is Jimmy Walker still alive?

00:26:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:46.000 Is he still touring?

00:26:48.000 I'd imagine.

00:26:49.000 I don't know how he pays the bills.

00:26:51.000 These old guys, you wonder how they have money.

00:26:54.000 Can that last?

00:26:54.000 Right.

00:26:55.000 Like, how long does Dyno Mite?

00:26:57.000 You know what I worry about?

00:26:58.000 Guys who were like middle-axe 20 years ago and they just faded out.

00:27:03.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:27:05.000 I assume Uber John Kiricow.

00:27:08.000 John Kiricow is number one?

00:27:10.000 Yeah.

00:27:11.000 That's crazy.

00:27:12.000 So he does cameos.

00:27:14.000 Who's that?

00:27:15.000 I don't even know who that is.

00:27:17.000 John Kirico?

00:27:18.000 Yeah.

00:27:18.000 Former CIA guy went to jail.

00:27:20.000 What?

00:27:21.000 They put him in jail.

00:27:21.000 Yeah.

00:27:22.000 A golfer.

00:27:23.000 That's my buddy Bob.

00:27:24.000 Yeah.

00:27:24.000 Oh, you know him?

00:27:25.000 And he's number two?

00:27:26.000 Yeah.

00:27:26.000 How much money is he making?

00:27:27.000 I mean, he does a lot of these.

00:27:29.000 He was always in a fight with Santa during Christmas time.

00:27:32.000 And John Kirk.

00:27:33.000 Green's been up here for a while, but he's not currently on here.

00:27:35.000 Oh, that dude, Soy Tiet, the guy who sings.

00:27:38.000 Oh, yeah, he's fun.

00:27:40.000 And then who's red?

00:27:40.000 Yeah.

00:27:42.000 Is that one of the island boys?

00:27:44.000 Who's that guy in the lower left corner?

00:27:46.000 Those guys are still at it.

00:27:46.000 Oh, wow.

00:27:48.000 And then the rest of these, I don't know who they are.

00:27:51.000 So John Kierkel costs $179 for one of those.

00:27:55.000 Oh, bam.

00:27:56.000 And for him.

00:27:58.000 Who else is in there?

00:27:59.000 Anybody you know?

00:28:00.000 No.

00:28:01.000 Names I do not recognize.

00:28:02.000 Nick Foley.

00:28:03.000 Interesting.

00:28:04.000 Oh, Red Dead Redemption guy.

00:28:06.000 Oh, Nick Foley the wrestler.

00:28:08.000 There you go.

00:28:09.000 How odd.

00:28:11.000 What an odd thing.

00:28:12.000 Who's buying a Rappaport?

00:28:14.000 President Donald Trump parody is number 37.

00:28:18.000 Michael Rappaport.

00:28:19.000 He's screaming enough for free.

00:28:20.000 Yeah.

00:28:21.000 Why would you buy a portfolio?

00:28:22.000 Oh, Buffer has got to be up there.

00:28:23.000 Of course, Buffer.

00:28:24.000 Yeah, of course.

00:28:25.000 I've seen people in a hotel, they've like heard him doing them.

00:28:29.000 Oh, yeah, I've seen him do them.

00:28:30.000 I've seen him do them.

00:28:31.000 I've been with him when he's doing them.

00:28:33.000 How crazy is his story with his brother?

00:28:34.000 Crazy.

00:28:35.000 Isn't that bananas?

00:28:36.000 Yeah.

00:28:37.000 That kind of shit blows my mind.

00:28:38.000 Didn't even know his brother until they were like 30.

00:28:41.000 And they just found each other with the voice both fighting.

00:28:44.000 Yeah.

00:28:44.000 Well, he was like the budget buffer in the beginning.

00:28:48.000 Like, he was like, if you couldn't afford Michael, you got Bruce.

00:28:51.000 But now Bruce is way better than Michael.

00:28:54.000 No disrespect to Michael.

00:28:55.000 Oh, boy.

00:28:55.000 But Michael gets, you know, Michael's smooth.

00:28:58.000 Let's get ready to rumble.

00:29:00.000 Which is perfect for boxing.

00:29:02.000 But Bruce is perfect for MMA.

00:29:04.000 Yeah, he's got more flare.

00:29:05.000 He's fucking hype.

00:29:06.000 He's got the suit on.

00:29:06.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:08.000 He's going to drop dead doing that one day.

00:29:09.000 We've all called it.

00:29:10.000 Because he gets beat red, and now he's like deep in his 60s.

00:29:14.000 I don't know how old he is.

00:29:14.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:15.000 And he parties, too, I think.

00:29:16.000 Bruce parties?

00:29:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:17.000 How do you know?

00:29:18.000 There's a bunch of videos of him.

00:29:19.000 He got into a fist fight in an elevator with an MMA fighter.

00:29:22.000 Oh, that was at Frank Trigg?

00:29:23.000 Yeah.

00:29:24.000 Kind of a fist fight.

00:29:25.000 Like a little bit of a pushing, shoving, probably.

00:29:28.000 Frank Trigg would literally kill him.

00:29:31.000 I know.

00:29:32.000 That's why I'm impressed because he stood up to him.

00:29:34.000 Frank Trigg was an animal when he was young.

00:29:37.000 Yeah.

00:29:37.000 I would not be able to do it.

00:29:38.000 This was like, I think it was when Frank was still fighting.

00:29:41.000 That's crazy.

00:29:41.000 I don't think Frank really fought him back.

00:29:44.000 I think that would be a very quick encounter.

00:29:46.000 But just the fact that he was up for it.

00:29:48.000 I don't know what really happened.

00:29:50.000 I think the story's online somewhere.

00:29:52.000 Yeah, it's Bruce's version of the story.

00:29:54.000 Yeah, it's true.

00:29:55.000 You know what I mean?

00:29:56.000 I don't know.

00:29:56.000 Not that Bruce is lying.

00:29:58.000 Bruce might have thought he was in a fight and Frank might have thought it was hilarious.

00:30:01.000 Right, right.

00:30:02.000 I don't know.

00:30:03.000 But Bruce did martial arts most of his life.

00:30:03.000 Yeah.

00:30:06.000 The craziest coincidence of all, and get your fingers ready, J-Mo.

00:30:10.000 Dennis the Menace, the cartoon, was invented in England and in America on the same day.

00:30:18.000 What?

00:30:19.000 Put that your pipe and jizz on it.

00:30:21.000 Get that cooking.

00:30:23.000 Because they were like, oh, you must have stolen this.

00:30:23.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:25.000 So they went back and researched it.

00:30:28.000 They were both invented.

00:30:29.000 Same character, same name on the same day and the same year.

00:30:33.000 That makes no sense.

00:30:34.000 Isn't that bananas?

00:30:36.000 My brain blew up.

00:30:37.000 That literally makes no sense.

00:30:39.000 It's crazy.

00:30:40.000 So, that's a fun one.

00:30:41.000 How is that possible?

00:30:42.000 I don't know.

00:30:43.000 Just, you know, monkeys writing on a typewriter.

00:30:45.000 Eventually you get Shakespeare.

00:30:47.000 Two guys thinking of the same thing.

00:30:49.000 Same day.

00:30:50.000 Maybe that's one of those things.

00:30:50.000 Crossed the pond.

00:30:52.000 Like, what is that called?

00:30:53.000 Like Berenstein Bears?

00:30:56.000 The Mandala effect.

00:30:58.000 That's not the same thing because that's like when it's not real.

00:30:58.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:01.000 This is something that's real.

00:31:02.000 That's true.

00:31:03.000 That's right.

00:31:03.000 Right.

00:31:04.000 Right.

00:31:05.000 No, I'm thinking of the wrong thing.

00:31:07.000 What does Perplexity say?

00:31:09.000 Our lovely AI sponsor, Perplexity, says there's actually two completely separate Dennis Menace comic strip characters that debuted almost simultaneously in 1951, created independently in the UK and the U.S.

00:31:20.000 So how would they even know about each other back then?

00:31:23.000 It's 17th and 12th.

00:31:23.000 Oh, sorry.

00:31:24.000 So they're five days apart.

00:31:26.000 Who started first?

00:31:27.000 British was the 17th.

00:31:29.000 Okay.

00:31:29.000 On sale.

00:31:31.000 Issue dated 17 March on sale 12 March.

00:31:35.000 Created by these guys, American, on 12 March.

00:31:39.000 No.

00:31:40.000 Like basically the same day on sale.

00:31:42.000 On sale the same day.

00:31:44.000 Unbelievable.

00:31:45.000 Blonde hair.

00:31:45.000 Same.

00:31:46.000 Overalls.

00:31:48.000 And it said, well, go back to what the saying was again.

00:31:51.000 It said, your son is a menace.

00:31:54.000 Did they both say that?

00:31:55.000 No.

00:31:56.000 I don't know.

00:31:57.000 Wow.

00:31:58.000 Both mischievous little boys, but they look different.

00:32:01.000 UK Dennis has black hair, red and black jumper.

00:32:05.000 U.S. Dennis, blonde hair, overalls.

00:32:07.000 They live in different fictional worlds.

00:32:09.000 Creators worked entirely independently.

00:32:12.000 Either knew about the other before publication.

00:32:12.000 No evidence.

00:32:15.000 So it's treated as a famous coincidence rather than copying.

00:32:18.000 Wow.

00:32:19.000 Unreal.

00:32:21.000 There they are side by side.

00:32:23.000 Wow.

00:32:24.000 That kind of shit is kooky.

00:32:26.000 It's weird.

00:32:27.000 That's like when rats, you like if you teach a rat how to get out of a maze on the east coast, rats on the west coast get out of the maze quicker.

00:32:36.000 No fucking way.

00:32:37.000 Yeah.

00:32:38.000 There's a guy named Rupert Sheldrick.

00:32:40.000 He calls it Morphic Resonance.

00:32:42.000 He thinks there's some sort of like communication that all animals have with each other all over the world that we can't quantify, that we can't measure, but it seems real.

00:32:54.000 Yeah.

00:32:54.000 Well, apparently I got caught in an ant pile when I was a kid, and all the ants swarmed on me and they all bit me at once.

00:33:00.000 I felt it.

00:33:01.000 I was like, ah, it was just one big wave of pain.

00:33:05.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:05.000 They communicated.

00:33:07.000 Well, ants just immediately attacked, though, as soon as you get on the ant hill.

00:33:11.000 But ants are they're on another level.

00:33:13.000 You hear about the lady that fell.

00:33:15.000 She was, her parachute didn't deploy, but she landed in an ant pile of fire ants.

00:33:20.000 No.

00:33:21.000 She survived because she was bit like a thousand times by these fire ants.

00:33:26.000 And somehow or another, the ant bites and the adrenaline that caused it helped.

00:33:31.000 Hey, don't jump down.

00:33:32.000 Stay up there, buddy.

00:33:34.000 Is what kept her alive.

00:33:36.000 Yeah.

00:33:36.000 What?

00:33:37.000 Wow.

00:33:38.000 That's when you start going religion shit.

00:33:41.000 Like, how did that happen?

00:33:41.000 I know.

00:33:43.000 Stay up here.

00:33:43.000 Stay up here, buddy.

00:33:44.000 Ant bites.

00:33:46.000 Yeah.

00:33:47.000 1999.

00:33:48.000 Her parachute malfunctioned.

00:33:50.000 She fell 4,500 feet.

00:33:52.000 Her backup parachute opened at 700 feet, but quickly deflated.

00:33:55.000 She continued to plummet towards the ground at 80 miles an hour.

00:33:58.000 Miraculously, she survived the fall thanks to the fact she landed directly on a mound of fire ants.

00:34:04.000 Doctors believe the intense shock of being stung over 200 times by the ants released a surge of adrenaline, which kept her heartbeating.

00:34:12.000 Oh, it's like a clear.

00:34:13.000 She got cleared by ants.

00:34:15.000 Isn't that nuts?

00:34:16.000 That is kooky.

00:34:17.000 It's like when those guys jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and a seal, a guy jumped off, broke all his bones, and a seal pushed him to the shore.

00:34:25.000 Whoa.

00:34:25.000 That's in the documentary, The Bridge.

00:34:28.000 A friend of mine did that and died.

00:34:30.000 Yeah, he killed himself.

00:34:30.000 Really?

00:34:31.000 It's the number one spot to kill yourself.

00:34:33.000 Yeah, R.I.P. Tony Anagone.

00:34:35.000 He's a buddy of mine that was a professional pool player.

00:34:39.000 I did commentary with him on a pool match in the 90s.

00:34:43.000 He was in a book called Playing Off the Rail.

00:34:46.000 It's a great book by this guy, David McCumber, who was Hunter S. Thompson's editor in, I want to say, Seattle, something like that.

00:34:55.000 I forget what newspaper, but when Hunter was like off the rails and out of his fucking mind, too.

00:35:00.000 It was perfect.

00:35:01.000 Another different kind of off the rail.

00:35:03.000 So he followed my friend Tony all across the country gambling.

00:35:08.000 It's a great book about pool hustling.

00:35:10.000 Yeah.

00:35:11.000 Tony was like a world-class professional pool player and they went around the country gambling.

00:35:15.000 And I don't know what happened with him, but I lost touch with them.

00:35:19.000 And then.

00:35:19.000 Was he Golden Gate?

00:35:21.000 Yeah.

00:35:21.000 Oh, damn.

00:35:22.000 It's like they all know to go there.

00:35:23.000 Well, he was a San Francisco guy.

00:35:25.000 He lived up there his whole life.

00:35:27.000 And I got this message from a friend of mine.

00:35:30.000 Tony jumped off the bridge.

00:35:31.000 I was like, no.

00:35:32.000 Whoa.

00:35:35.000 Crazy.

00:35:35.000 Well, it's weird because I watch matches sometimes on YouTube and he's doing the commentary for the matches.

00:35:41.000 Oh, that's crazy.

00:35:42.000 It's so strange because he seems so happy.

00:35:44.000 He's enjoying himself.

00:35:45.000 They're cracking up.

00:35:46.000 But I'm like, what is it that makes someone want to end it?

00:35:50.000 You know, what is it?

00:35:52.000 Like, what was, I guess he had, like, some failed business ventures and he was going bankrupt.

00:35:57.000 Well, depression is, you know, way was way more unresearched back then.

00:36:03.000 Yeah.

00:36:03.000 You know, you probably just thought, ah, something's wrong with me.

00:36:05.000 I got to end this pain.

00:36:07.000 Yeah.

00:36:08.000 But yeah, everybody who lived, they said, each of them said separately, right when my hand left the rail, I was, I regretted it.

00:36:08.000 But damn.

00:36:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:17.000 They all said that.

00:36:18.000 Every single one.

00:36:18.000 They all said that.

00:36:19.000 Yeah.

00:36:19.000 Everybody who lives.

00:36:20.000 So don't do it.

00:36:21.000 It's a terrible idea.

00:36:22.000 Yeah.

00:36:23.000 Do you remember the one in downtown LA where the guy was like on, I think he shot himself with a shotgun.

00:36:30.000 He was like standing on the edge of a bridge and it was live on TV.

00:36:35.000 Do you remember that one?

00:36:35.000 Yeah.

00:36:36.000 It was like a standoff.

00:36:37.000 They were trying to get him to not jump, but he had a shotgun.

00:36:40.000 I think I'm conflating it.

00:36:41.000 Bull it up.

00:36:42.000 But I'm pretty sure he blew his brains out on TV.

00:36:44.000 Damn.

00:36:45.000 I knew about the fat guy with the gun in the mouth.

00:36:48.000 Politician guy.

00:36:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:50.000 Was he a dirty judge?

00:36:50.000 Was he a judge?

00:36:51.000 Maybe a judge.

00:36:52.000 A dirty judge.

00:36:53.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:36:54.000 That song, Hey Man, Nice Shot.

00:36:56.000 Yeah.

00:36:56.000 Exactly.

00:36:57.000 And that was a hot video when I was a kid.

00:36:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:37:00.000 What is it?

00:37:00.000 Taste of Death or Faces.

00:37:01.000 Bugwire.

00:37:02.000 Faces.

00:37:03.000 That's it.

00:37:03.000 Bugwire.

00:37:04.000 That was one of the first ones where you got to see a guy die.

00:37:07.000 Like a viral video.

00:37:08.000 He put a giant gun in his mouth.

00:37:10.000 Look at that.

00:37:10.000 44.

00:37:11.000 And everybody goes, no, no, don't do it.

00:37:13.000 Oh.

00:37:14.000 He's like, hey, man, relax.

00:37:15.000 Everyone, stay calm.

00:37:17.000 They just shoved it in his mouth and boom.

00:37:20.000 Blew the top of his dome off.

00:37:21.000 And now we just see people getting shot on Twitter every 10 seconds.

00:37:24.000 Every day.

00:37:25.000 I mean, the Kirk thing.

00:37:26.000 I remember waking up and be like, good God.

00:37:28.000 The Kirk thing's weird.

00:37:30.000 The Kirk thing's weird because now there's video footage from behind.

00:37:33.000 Is that right?

00:37:34.000 Yeah.

00:37:35.000 I mean, the round that he was supposedly shot with was a 30-odd 6, which is a big round.

00:37:41.000 That's a round that you'd kill a moose with.

00:37:43.000 And it doesn't even have an exit wound.

00:37:45.000 Right.

00:37:45.000 It don't make no sense.

00:37:46.000 It makes zero sense.

00:37:48.000 Well, you hear about this Joe Kent.

00:37:50.000 Yeah.

00:37:50.000 Yeah, they told him not to research or investigate.

00:37:54.000 So what's up with that?

00:37:54.000 Yes.

00:37:55.000 He said that they were told to stop their investigation and that they were going to handle it.

00:38:00.000 And he just resigned.

00:38:01.000 And meanwhile, have they handled it?

00:38:03.000 Like, we haven't seen that guy, the guy who loves furries, who supposedly killed Charlie Kirk.

00:38:08.000 Tyler Robinson.

00:38:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:10.000 We haven't seen him talk.

00:38:12.000 No.

00:38:13.000 He hasn't said he did it.

00:38:14.000 He hasn't said he didn't do it.

00:38:15.000 There's no independent video of him talking about it.

00:38:20.000 And then there was footage of him at a yogurt shop way across town, like 20 minutes later.

00:38:20.000 Yeah.

00:38:25.000 The whole thing is like super sus.

00:38:28.000 It's similar with the guy who shot Trump, whatever his name was.

00:38:30.000 He had three names.

00:38:31.000 Oh, yeah, that kid.

00:38:32.000 That kid was in a BlackRock commercial to 44.

00:38:36.000 He had no silverware.

00:38:37.000 His house was professionally scrubbed.

00:38:40.000 And no one can ask questions about that.

00:38:42.000 We can't deep dive on that.

00:38:44.000 If you do, you're a conspiracy theorist.

00:38:46.000 He shot a presidential elect.

00:38:49.000 Yeah, not only that, but isn't that a fucking conspiracy?

00:38:52.000 Like, that's a conspiracy.

00:38:53.000 He conspired to murder the president of the United States.

00:38:57.000 It seems like he had help.

00:38:57.000 Yeah.

00:38:59.000 Of course.

00:39:00.000 How the fuck did he get up onto that roof?

00:39:02.000 How did they not have people on that roof?

00:39:03.000 They said the slope was too steep.

00:39:05.000 Yeah.

00:39:06.000 And meanwhile, there were snipers on another roof that had a sharper angled roof.

00:39:10.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:39:11.000 And then he has no social media.

00:39:13.000 He has no history.

00:39:14.000 It's all kooky.

00:39:16.000 Super suspect.

00:39:17.000 Yeah.

00:39:18.000 We can't ask questions or else we're assholes.

00:39:20.000 Well, not only that, though, the kooky people online now think that that was staged and that Trump had that guy shoot his ear.

00:39:27.000 Like, you don't know jack shit about guns if you think that that was staged.

00:39:32.000 I will say the flag going up with the photo op was pretty perfect.

00:39:37.000 But sometimes that's like Dennis the Menace.

00:39:39.000 Shit just lines up perfectly.

00:39:40.000 I guess so.

00:39:41.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:42.000 Sometimes weird stuff happens.

00:39:44.000 Like, how is this so perfect?

00:39:44.000 Yeah.

00:39:47.000 Right, right.

00:39:49.000 Yeah, we got to get to the bottom of it.

00:39:50.000 He got shot in the ear, man.

00:39:51.000 I saw his fucking ear.

00:39:52.000 He had like a little mark on his ear.

00:39:54.000 I remember that.

00:39:55.000 Get Nick Shirley on this shit.

00:39:57.000 He's cracking all kinds of cases.

00:39:58.000 Bro, the stuff that he just found in California is bonkers.

00:40:02.000 If you see that guy in your town, you're fucked.

00:40:05.000 He's a persistent little cleef.

00:40:08.000 Would you see what the governor posted, what Newsom's press office posted?

00:40:11.000 They posted a photo of Nick Shirley, like a fake Nick Shirley, like a meme, like Nick Shirley peeking into windows.

00:40:18.000 Like, hey, he's doing your job.

00:40:22.000 He's uncovering fraud, and what you're doing is mocking him.

00:40:26.000 Right.

00:40:27.000 You should go, oh, shit, this fraud.

00:40:28.000 Yeah.

00:40:29.000 I'm the governor.

00:40:30.000 They should just open up the investigations into all these places immediately if you cared.

00:40:35.000 But all they want to do is just obfuscate, cover it up, make it look silly.

00:40:40.000 Yeah.

00:40:41.000 Make it look like he's something, whatever he is, white supremacist.

00:40:44.000 Right, right.

00:40:45.000 MAGA, whatever.

00:40:46.000 MAGA, come up with a name.

00:40:48.000 I don't want to get to it.

00:40:49.000 My kid's at a Somali daycare right now, so I don't want to.

00:40:53.000 I don't want to say anything crazy.

00:40:55.000 But yeah, that was all kooky.

00:40:57.000 And look, I don't know what's real and what isn't anymore.

00:40:59.000 You know, and if you ask questions, you're this, you get labeled.

00:41:02.000 I don't know.

00:41:03.000 It's a wacky time.

00:41:04.000 And it's a time where we've never had more information and no one's less sure about anything.

00:41:12.000 And the same with lonely.

00:41:12.000 Yes.

00:41:13.000 We're more lonely than ever, and we have more connectivity than ever.

00:41:17.000 Yeah, but it's the kind of connectivity that people have.

00:41:21.000 That's why I'm off social media.

00:41:22.000 It's just not good for you.

00:41:23.000 It's not.

00:41:24.000 No.

00:41:24.000 I hop on to post things and I get the fuck out of there.

00:41:27.000 But you seem to know a ton of stuff.

00:41:29.000 So I'm like, how are you off social media, but also knowledgeable?

00:41:32.000 Google news feed and then things that inform people send me.

00:41:36.000 I rely on people sending me things now, which is way better.

00:41:39.000 Because everybody's always sending you things that are have you seen this shit?

00:41:42.000 Holy fuck.

00:41:43.000 I said something yesterday about that.

00:41:44.000 Always.

00:41:45.000 YouTube deleted it.

00:41:46.000 I don't think they did.

00:41:47.000 Oh, really?

00:41:48.000 Or if it was deleted, it was pulled back up.

00:41:48.000 Yeah, I think it's back.

00:41:50.000 The Nick Shirley thing.

00:41:52.000 Okay.

00:41:52.000 Yeah.

00:41:53.000 Yeah.

00:41:53.000 Good.

00:41:54.000 Because other people said, I found it.

00:41:56.000 It's right here.

00:41:56.000 So it might have just been a glitch.

00:41:58.000 Right.

00:41:58.000 Or it might have been they thought about deleting it and someone said, that's going to make it worse.

00:42:03.000 Exactly, exactly.

00:42:04.000 It definitely makes it worse.

00:42:05.000 But if it is true, I don't know if it all is true with the fraud and everything, but I'm like, can we stop it?

00:42:11.000 Can we get the money back?

00:42:12.000 Can we help people who are paying taxes who are not getting anything out of it?

00:42:16.000 And it's all going to some guy in a cyber truck.

00:42:20.000 Like, where's the redemption?

00:42:22.000 Where's the comeuppance?

00:42:25.000 Well, this is the thing that Elon Musk told me about during the Doge stuff.

00:42:29.000 He said the biggest fraud in this country is Medicare fraud and Medicaid fraud.

00:42:33.000 He's like, and that, if that gets, he goes like, I don't even want to talk about it because I don't want them to kill me.

00:42:38.000 He literally said that.

00:42:38.000 He's like, we're talking about hundreds of billions of dollars in fraud.

00:42:42.000 But don't we have the worst health care or whatever?

00:42:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:42:45.000 Huh.

00:42:46.000 But it doesn't matter.

00:42:47.000 It's not about actual health care.

00:42:49.000 It's about using the system to extract money, pretending you have a daycare, pretending you have a hospice, pretending you have this and that.

00:42:56.000 And really, you're just lying about who's there and collecting checks from the government.

00:43:02.000 Because if you have a bunch of clients, like there was one place in Minneapolis that was saying they were feeding like 5,000 people a day.

00:43:07.000 They never saw more than 40 people there.

00:43:09.000 They investigated, like, this is just, they're just taking money.

00:43:12.000 Yeah.

00:43:13.000 And they're getting millions and millions of dollars.

00:43:16.000 But you got to think, if this thing has been going on for so long, they probably have a whole system.

00:43:16.000 It's crazy.

00:43:22.000 No one's ever investigated it.

00:43:24.000 It's been happening for over a decade.

00:43:25.000 And they just like, this is what we do.

00:43:27.000 And they're all just cashing in.

00:43:29.000 Yeah, but I don't know.

00:43:31.000 Like, my friend lives in Minneapolis.

00:43:32.000 He's an old pal, and he's like, I've known Tim Walz my whole life.

00:43:36.000 He was always the governor, and he's a nice guy.

00:43:38.000 But then you see this shit, and you're like, so is he stupid or is he corrupt?

00:43:43.000 Well, you can know someone and think they're a nice guy because they're a nice guy to you.

00:43:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:43:49.000 Like, I know a lot of people, and people say that guy's a piece of shit.

00:43:52.000 I'm like, maybe.

00:43:54.000 But to me, all I can judge is how he treats me and how he talks to me.

00:43:58.000 But he's going to talk different to me than he's going to talk to people that don't matter to him.

00:44:04.000 Yeah, and you only know of his online perception.

00:44:07.000 Tim Walsh just seems weird.

00:44:11.000 There's no humans that I know like that that wave like that, that walk around like this.

00:44:16.000 It's just not normal behavior.

00:44:18.000 And he stopped his run for re-election because of this Minneapolis fraud.

00:44:18.000 Yeah.

00:44:24.000 So there's something to it.

00:44:25.000 But you just want some acknowledgement.

00:44:26.000 You just want them to go like, geez, that is crazy.

00:44:28.000 Holy shit.

00:44:29.000 But instead, it's like, shut it down.

00:44:31.000 Don't listen to that guy.

00:44:32.000 Exactly.

00:44:33.000 Just stop making me feel crazy.

00:44:35.000 You're not crazy.

00:44:35.000 It's real.

00:44:36.000 It's real.

00:44:37.000 I mean, maybe Nick Shirley, maybe 100% of it isn't fraudulent that he uncovered.

00:44:43.000 Maybe some of it's legit, but there's definitely some fraud involved.

00:44:47.000 And it's enough that you realize, like, this is, you're talking about enormous amounts of money.

00:44:52.000 And how long has this been going on?

00:44:54.000 I know.

00:44:55.000 And also, who's getting paid?

00:44:57.000 Is anybody getting backdoor deals?

00:44:59.000 Is there any offshore accounts that other people have access to?

00:45:02.000 And they're funneling money and no one knows about it.

00:45:02.000 Exactly.

00:45:05.000 Well, let's paper trail this shit and get to something.

00:45:07.000 We don't make any arrests like all the Epstein guys are out there.

00:45:11.000 In England and Norway, they popped a few guys.

00:45:14.000 Well, that was what the Doge stuff was all about.

00:45:16.000 That was the whole purpose for it all.

00:45:18.000 Yeah.

00:45:18.000 The whole purpose for the Doge stuff was to try to uncover a lot of this stuff.

00:45:22.000 And they found fucking tons of it, hundreds of billions of dollars in fraud.

00:45:27.000 And what happened to those guys?

00:45:28.000 Those guys are getting, you know, they're getting questioned now.

00:45:31.000 Okay.

00:45:31.000 And people are, you know, the guys, the Doge guys are like having to give testimony.

00:45:36.000 They're like, like, you know, you shut down important government function.

00:45:36.000 Oh, like.

00:45:39.000 It's like, well, actually, these fucking things, nothing was getting done.

00:45:44.000 And these people were making enormous amounts of money.

00:45:46.000 It's like, did you see that fucking bridge that they're building in California?

00:45:50.000 I did, the wild mountain lions.

00:45:51.000 Yeah.

00:45:52.000 It's over $100 million.

00:45:54.000 I know.

00:45:55.000 And they need more money for a fucking bridge.

00:45:58.000 I know.

00:45:59.000 Meanwhile, Colorado built one, a similar one, for a fraction of the cost.

00:46:03.000 I think it was $5 million.

00:46:04.000 Yeah.

00:46:04.000 A fraction of the cost.

00:46:05.000 Yeah.

00:46:06.000 And completed it.

00:46:07.000 And it's done.

00:46:08.000 And in California, like, we need more money to save the fox.

00:46:12.000 Well, there's so many regulations that you can't, there's so much red tape, you can't get anywhere.

00:46:16.000 It's a little bit of that, but they're blaming tariffs in the government.

00:46:20.000 Shut up.

00:46:22.000 I doubt that's what it is.

00:46:23.000 I doubt it's $100 million and you can't finish it because of tariffs.

00:46:27.000 That don't make any sense.

00:46:28.000 We're still waiting on the bullet train.

00:46:29.000 That started 25 years ago.

00:46:31.000 Oh, that was billions.

00:46:32.000 Billions.

00:46:33.000 Still not done.

00:46:33.000 Billions.

00:46:34.000 Nothing.

00:46:34.000 Meanwhile, Japan is whizzing all over the place at light speed.

00:46:37.000 Have you ever seen, I think it's in China.

00:46:39.000 There's one that they debuted, they showed in China, and it's just whizzing by these people, and you get to see how fast it is in real time or standing next to it.

00:46:46.000 No.

00:46:47.000 It's bonkers, dude.

00:46:48.000 Man.

00:46:49.000 It's just and you just think, the problem with that is how much track is there?

00:46:55.000 There's a lot of track.

00:46:57.000 How many psychos are out there?

00:46:58.000 They could just lay something on the track.

00:47:01.000 Well, that's more American.

00:47:02.000 They don't do that shit.

00:47:04.000 They're raised better.

00:47:05.000 Someone can do it.

00:47:06.000 They could, but they're Japanese.

00:47:08.000 They're repressed.

00:47:09.000 So they get it all out with those trains.

00:47:13.000 Right?

00:47:14.000 It's like Nick Shirley.

00:47:15.000 So he's motivated.

00:47:15.000 He's a virgin.

00:47:17.000 Yeah, that's weird, right?

00:47:18.000 It is a little weird, but I'd rather an incel do that shit than shoot up a place.

00:47:24.000 Well, there's a lot of these virgin influencers now.

00:47:27.000 Yeah.

00:47:27.000 Nick Fuentes is a virgin, allegedly.

00:47:29.000 Yeah.

00:47:30.000 This guy's a virgin.

00:47:31.000 I don't trust a lot of these virgins.

00:47:34.000 That feels unnatural.

00:47:35.000 You're late.

00:47:36.000 You're young.

00:47:37.000 It's very unnormal.

00:47:38.000 Very, very strange.

00:47:40.000 It's like Zoran.

00:47:40.000 Very.

00:47:41.000 I don't trust an Indian who never had a job.

00:47:44.000 Is he Indian?

00:47:45.000 Mamdani?

00:47:45.000 Yeah.

00:47:46.000 I believe he's Indian.

00:47:47.000 Is he?

00:47:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:48.000 Is that what he is?

00:47:49.000 I think he's from Africa, but he is Indian.

00:47:52.000 Yeah, he's from Africa.

00:47:53.000 But have you never had a job?

00:47:54.000 Every Indian guy I know is the hardest working dude on the planet.

00:47:57.000 He's never had a job at all.

00:47:58.000 No.

00:47:59.000 I think he's a rapper.

00:48:01.000 Mamdani's never had a job?

00:48:02.000 No, I don't believe so.

00:48:03.000 This is his first gig.

00:48:05.000 That's crazy.

00:48:06.000 I know.

00:48:07.000 Imagine your first gig.

00:48:08.000 You're the mayor of New York City.

00:48:10.000 On one hand, super impressive.

00:48:11.000 Very impressive.

00:48:12.000 First gig.

00:48:13.000 Way to go.

00:48:14.000 The sky's the limit for this guy.

00:48:15.000 I know.

00:48:16.000 His first job, he was the mayor of New York City.

00:48:19.000 Yeah, it's like losing your virginity to Heidi Klum.

00:48:22.000 I think he won because he said he's not going to Israel.

00:48:26.000 That was smart.

00:48:27.000 And affordability.

00:48:28.000 Yeah.

00:48:29.000 New York's so expensive.

00:48:30.000 Also, yeah, people are like, we're tired of the rich.

00:48:32.000 Well, the narrative is the rich people are causing all your problems, and we need to tax the rich people.

00:48:37.000 But meanwhile, the rich people in New York are responsible for more than 50% of the taxes.

00:48:40.000 Sure.

00:48:41.000 Well, Hochul just said, please come back.

00:48:42.000 Did you see that clip?

00:48:43.000 Yeah, good luck.

00:48:45.000 Good luck.

00:48:46.000 And I think he seems like a nice guy.

00:48:48.000 I think he's got good intentions, but it just, you know, you need some experience and you need money because he keeps saying free, free buses, free health care, free child care.

00:48:57.000 And you're like, stop saying free.

00:48:59.000 That should be illegal because someone has to pay for it.

00:49:01.000 Right.

00:49:02.000 There's nothing free.

00:49:02.000 Nothing is free.

00:49:03.000 You're just adding to the bureaucracy.

00:49:05.000 You're adding to the government waste.

00:49:07.000 You're adding to the possibility of fraud.

00:49:09.000 While you're just releasing people on the streets.

00:49:09.000 Yeah.

00:49:12.000 Yeah, and I think I have a theory that Muslim is cool.

00:49:15.000 Muslim is like the new black.

00:49:16.000 It's cool.

00:49:18.000 Muslim's hip now.

00:49:19.000 It's different.

00:49:21.000 It's exotic.

00:49:22.000 It's fun.

00:49:23.000 I think the problem is people conflate Muslim and Islamist.

00:49:28.000 Which is two very different things.

00:49:29.000 I know a lot of Muslims and they're great people.

00:49:31.000 Totally.

00:49:32.000 But Islamists are people that want a global caliphate.

00:49:35.000 And they want death to the infidels.

00:49:38.000 This is the difference between Iran and Saudi Arabia.

00:49:42.000 Saudi Arabia are Muslims.

00:49:44.000 The Iranians are Islamists.

00:49:45.000 Right.

00:49:46.000 They're state-sponsored terrorism, the whole deal.

00:49:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:49:49.000 Well, any extreme, you know, like a Hasidic Jew versus Paul Rudd.

00:49:53.000 Yes.

00:49:54.000 You know, Paul Rudd's a fun guy, has a cocktail.

00:49:56.000 He's a funny movie.

00:49:57.000 And then a Hasidic Jew is like, all right, let me cut your foreskin off and suck the blood.

00:50:03.000 Right.

00:50:04.000 Give you herpes.

00:50:05.000 Or these crazy fucking right-wing radical Christian nationalists that think that we're supposed to be over in Israel so that Jesus can come back on a white horse.

00:50:15.000 Have you seen that?

00:50:16.000 Oh, no.

00:50:17.000 Oh, Jamie, pull that story up that I sent you, or I could resend it to you if you want.

00:50:21.000 There's a crazy story that was on Yahoo about this guy who's a non-commissioned officer that went to a military debriefing.

00:50:28.000 So it was like an operation readiness meeting or a war meeting.

00:50:33.000 And one of these fucking guys, one of these high-level commanders, says, don't be worried because Trump is anointed by Jesus Christ to bring back the return.

00:50:43.000 Oh, no.

00:50:44.000 To bring back Jesus' return on earth.

00:50:46.000 Commander claimed Trump was anointed by Jesus to cause Armageddon to justify the Iran tax.

00:50:52.000 Wow.

00:50:54.000 See, that's like up there with Allah will protect me.

00:50:57.000 Exactly.

00:50:58.000 It's the same shit.

00:50:59.000 It's just coming from a different religion.

00:51:00.000 Yeah.

00:51:01.000 But it's the same mindset.

00:51:02.000 Like, look at what he said.

00:51:05.000 See what he said?

00:51:07.000 Did you find the actual quote?

00:51:11.000 He urged us to tell our troops this is all part of God's divine plan.

00:51:15.000 Specifically referenced numerous citations out of the book of Revelations referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ.

00:51:23.000 And he said, the superior had a big grin on his face when he said all of this, which made his message seem even more crazy.

00:51:30.000 Wow.

00:51:31.000 Bro.

00:51:32.000 Scary.

00:51:33.000 That's just as scary.

00:51:34.000 Those are just as scary as suicide bombers.

00:51:36.000 It's like people that are like true believers.

00:51:39.000 Yes.

00:51:40.000 Something that, you know, objectively sounds a lot like nonsense.

00:51:43.000 I would say there's less blowing up shit with the extreme Christian guy.

00:51:48.000 Sure, because they won.

00:51:49.000 Go back to the Inquisition.

00:51:51.000 And they were fucking torturing people.

00:51:53.000 That's a good point.

00:51:54.000 You know, people for, you know, for God's word or for, you know, for God's service and service of God have done some wild shit.

00:52:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:52:03.000 It's just people, you know, it's just people when they get into positions of radical belief, they just, they go nutty.

00:52:11.000 Yeah, it's like a cult.

00:52:11.000 The cult is just a microcosm of a full religion.

00:52:14.000 Exactly.

00:52:14.000 You know, it's just some crazy guy who's like, I'm going to fuck all of you and then we'll drink Kool-Aid.

00:52:19.000 I used to do a joke about it where I said, a cult is a thing where a guy creates it, and that guy knows it's bullshit.

00:52:27.000 In a religion, that guy's dead.

00:52:30.000 Wait a minute.

00:52:31.000 Yeah.

00:52:32.000 Oh, I see.

00:52:33.000 The religion, the guy who created it is dead.

00:52:35.000 Oh, right, right.

00:52:36.000 So it's like everybody just believes.

00:52:37.000 Yeah.

00:52:38.000 But in a cult, you know, like David Koresh or fill-in-the-blank, the Moonies, whatever it is.

00:52:44.000 Yeah, the coolest.

00:52:44.000 Some guy created it, and he knew it's bullshit.

00:52:47.000 Yeah.

00:52:47.000 Scientology.

00:52:48.000 That guy is a science fiction author.

00:52:50.000 L. Ron Hubbard.

00:52:50.000 Completely.

00:52:51.000 But now he's dead.

00:52:52.000 So it's a religion.

00:52:53.000 And they have tax-free exempt status.

00:52:56.000 That's good.

00:52:57.000 They're exempt from taxes.

00:52:58.000 Scientology.

00:52:59.000 No.

00:53:00.000 That's how they can afford all that real estate in L.A.

00:53:00.000 Yes.

00:53:03.000 They have so much real estate.

00:53:04.000 Crazy buildings.

00:53:05.000 Crazy.

00:53:05.000 Yeah.

00:53:06.000 Downtown.

00:53:07.000 And that's the nuttiest thing about L. Ron Hubbard.

00:53:10.000 It's like he's one of the worst authors of all time.

00:53:12.000 Oh, he stinks.

00:53:13.000 Terrible.

00:53:14.000 And he's a weird-looking dude.

00:53:15.000 I think he beat his wife.

00:53:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:53:16.000 Did he?

00:53:17.000 He was a trouble.

00:53:18.000 I don't say that because he's dead.

00:53:19.000 I watched a little documentary on him.

00:53:21.000 He's a troubled individual.

00:53:22.000 Well, he was definitely troubled, which is why he came up with Dianetics in the first place.

00:53:26.000 He was trying to self-diagnose.

00:53:28.000 He was trying to fix his own brain.

00:53:30.000 But it also shows how sad and sheep-like people are because we're like, we need something.

00:53:35.000 I need something to believe in, something to go for.

00:53:37.000 I'll support you.

00:53:38.000 Well, so lost that anybody who comes along that confidently claims they have the answer, people just follow.

00:53:46.000 Yep.

00:53:46.000 Very odd.

00:53:47.000 Very odd.

00:53:47.000 Every time.

00:53:48.000 It's like, I think it's programmed into us just like from the time that we were in tribes and we had to count on the chief to be correct.

00:53:56.000 Right.

00:53:56.000 You know what I mean?

00:53:57.000 But I'm sure you got some psychos who are up your ass.

00:54:01.000 Who believe everything I say?

00:54:02.000 Yeah, because you're so big.

00:54:03.000 You got such a big umbrella.

00:54:05.000 Yeah, but I'm very clear that I don't know what I'm talking about.

00:54:08.000 That's the key.

00:54:09.000 And if I do, it's like very specific things.

00:54:12.000 So I'm like, I can tell you for sure that this is a fact.

00:54:15.000 Right.

00:54:15.000 You know, because I'm an expert in a few things, but other things I'm like, you know, don't listen to me.

00:54:21.000 But this is what I think.

00:54:21.000 Yeah.

00:54:23.000 Well, you're one of the few guys who will go, oh, you know what I said last week?

00:54:27.000 I was wrong about that.

00:54:28.000 You have to.

00:54:29.000 Nobody does that.

00:54:30.000 You got to.

00:54:30.000 Well, because they all just want to be right all the time.

00:54:33.000 Yes.

00:54:34.000 And they all connect their identity with being correct about whether it's COVID or like COVID ruined a lot of people's credibility.

00:54:43.000 100%.

00:54:44.000 Because they were all in on the vaccine, all in on this, all in on the lockdowns, all in on the masks.

00:54:49.000 And then once it was revealed that all that stuff was bullshit, the vaccine didn't really prevent infection, didn't really.

00:54:55.000 Those people just never came out and said, you know what, I was wrong.

00:54:58.000 I know, and that would go so far, but nobody will do it.

00:55:02.000 And then the right and the left, they both just want their side to win.

00:55:05.000 So they're like, just.

00:55:06.000 Exactly.

00:55:06.000 It's like when the ball goes out of bounds on your team, you're like, I didn't see shit.

00:55:10.000 And then the other team's like, what are you crazy?

00:55:10.000 Exactly.

00:55:12.000 We got video footage.

00:55:13.000 Yeah.

00:55:13.000 It's cheating.

00:55:14.000 It's cheating.

00:55:15.000 You're cheating in the game of discourse.

00:55:17.000 Right, right.

00:55:18.000 The game of discourse is you're supposed to say what you really think.

00:55:21.000 And then when you think something differently, you say, okay, I was wrong.

00:55:24.000 Yes.

00:55:25.000 You have to be able to say, I was misinformed.

00:55:28.000 I thought it was this, but it's actually that.

00:55:30.000 Yeah, that's why those videos are so fun when they go to a college campus.

00:55:33.000 They're like, can you believe what this Trump said this?

00:55:35.000 And they go, that's racist.

00:55:36.000 He's a piece of shit.

00:55:37.000 And they go, actually, that was Biden.

00:55:38.000 And then they go, oh, well, what are you going to do?

00:55:41.000 I got class in a minute.

00:55:42.000 I got to go.

00:55:43.000 You don't vote for me.

00:55:45.000 You ain't black.

00:55:46.000 Yeah.

00:55:47.000 He's got a couple N-words, too, out there.

00:55:49.000 Does he?

00:55:49.000 Oh, yeah.

00:55:50.000 Pull it up.

00:55:51.000 Biden had a few.

00:55:52.000 Well, I remember when he called African Americans super criminals, right?

00:55:57.000 Whoa.

00:55:57.000 Or super predators.

00:55:59.000 That was during the 1994 crime bill, which is he was really responsible for a lot of that.

00:56:04.000 The 94 crime bill, people forget about that.

00:56:06.000 Like during the Clinton administration, like Clinton, in a lot of Clinton was a great president in terms of what he did.

00:56:14.000 Balanced the budget.

00:56:15.000 Great.

00:56:16.000 God had in the office, but you know, let it go.

00:56:19.000 Oral office.

00:56:20.000 Let it go.

00:56:21.000 Let it go.

00:56:21.000 Yeah.

00:56:22.000 But other than that, like, he did a lot of things that were really good.

00:56:26.000 But one of the things that he did that wasn't really good was the 94 crime bill.

00:56:30.000 So many people wind up going to jail for the rest of their lives.

00:56:33.000 That's true.

00:56:34.000 They ruined so many families, so many lives lost.

00:56:37.000 Yeah.

00:56:38.000 People that could have turned their life around, never got a chance, locked up forever.

00:56:42.000 Yeah, and deported a lot of people, too.

00:56:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:56:44.000 Not as much as Biden.

00:56:46.000 Excuse me, not as much as Obama.

00:56:47.000 Well, yeah, he was the king of that.

00:56:49.000 Not only did Obama deport more people than Trump, they arrested more Americans accidentally than Trump.

00:56:57.000 Yeah, the percentage of Americans arrested was higher, and also the deaths were higher.

00:57:02.000 Also, he had two terms.

00:57:03.000 True.

00:57:04.000 So you got to think about that.

00:57:05.000 True, yeah.

00:57:06.000 But nobody got shot in the street.

00:57:09.000 What do you mean?

00:57:10.000 Like his ICE didn't shoot anybody that I know of.

00:57:13.000 No, they did.

00:57:14.000 They did kill people.

00:57:14.000 Oh, come on.

00:57:15.000 Yeah, they killed people.

00:57:16.000 Civilians?

00:57:18.000 I don't know if it was civilians or if it was actual illegals that they were trying to deport, but there was definitely a bunch of people that were killed.

00:57:26.000 I want to say it was somewhere in the range of 30.

00:57:30.000 30?

00:57:31.000 Well, no social media back then either.

00:57:31.000 Yeah.

00:57:34.000 That's big.

00:57:34.000 Right.

00:57:35.000 Big.

00:57:36.000 That changed everything.

00:57:37.000 They could cover up everything back then.

00:57:39.000 But wouldn't you like to talk to Obama and go, ah, come on, that was crazy, right?

00:57:42.000 Well, Maron talked to Obama and he just kind of softballed him.

00:57:46.000 You know, he just was like, he let Obama just kind of talk.

00:57:50.000 Well, he did it recently.

00:57:51.000 He did it twice.

00:57:52.000 And both times it was kind of the same thing.

00:57:55.000 But he is an icon and he was a good president and he seems like a cool guy.

00:57:58.000 He was a very good statesman.

00:58:00.000 Like the way he talked was great, but he also said he was going to protect whistleblowers and he went back on all that.

00:58:00.000 Yes.

00:58:07.000 They even removed that part of the Hope and Change website.

00:58:10.000 Whoa.

00:58:12.000 His Hope and Change website when he was running for president was all about removing whistleblowers.

00:58:16.000 So what does it say here?

00:58:17.000 No documented case of ICE agents directly killing anyone.

00:58:21.000 Such as through shootings or excessive force during Obama's presidency.

00:58:21.000 There you go.

00:58:25.000 However, 56 individuals died in ICE custody over that period.

00:58:30.000 Well, he did.

00:58:32.000 Okay, so that's how they died.

00:58:33.000 So it wasn't shootings, primarily from medical issues, like they had lead poisoning from bullets, inadequate care, or whoops, he hung himself in a two-foot cell.

00:58:44.000 Ah.

00:58:45.000 With reports highlighting substandard medical treatment contributing to at least eight cases between 2010 and 2012.

00:58:53.000 Most custody deaths under Obama were attributed to natural causes, heart disease.

00:58:57.000 Well, you definitely are dealing with a lot of people that snuck in.

00:59:01.000 Not suicides, hanging, or violence by agents.

00:59:05.000 Interesting.

00:59:06.000 And what's up with that wife dick?

00:59:06.000 Interesting.

00:59:11.000 Just a little levity, folks.

00:59:13.000 I wish that was true.

00:59:14.000 It's so funny.

00:59:14.000 It'd be so fun.

00:59:14.000 I know.

00:59:16.000 Just a goof.

00:59:17.000 I think the French one's true.

00:59:18.000 The chef?

00:59:19.000 No.

00:59:20.000 Candace Owens, the one she was saying that your wife is a man.

00:59:24.000 Come on.

00:59:25.000 Yeah.

00:59:26.000 Yeah.

00:59:26.000 No way.

00:59:27.000 I don't think so.

00:59:28.000 I might be wrong.

00:59:29.000 I mean, she's a little sounds odd.

00:59:31.000 She's odd.

00:59:32.000 She's a little trans-y.

00:59:33.000 Yeah.

00:59:35.000 You ever see the way she sits?

00:59:36.000 Pull it up.

00:59:37.000 I have not.

00:59:38.000 No, what?

00:59:38.000 Sits like a dude.

00:59:39.000 Man spread?

00:59:40.000 Yeah, man spread.

00:59:41.000 Is that right?

00:59:42.000 Odd alignment of the hips.

00:59:45.000 Seems very masculine.

00:59:47.000 You know, that's why men sit like that.

00:59:49.000 It's not because we're dicks.

00:59:50.000 It's like your legs go out like that, whereas women's legs go inward.

00:59:54.000 Because they have birthing hips and the angle is different.

00:59:54.000 Sure.

00:59:58.000 I thought it was the ball bag.

00:59:59.000 Yeah.

01:00:00.000 Well, I see it.

01:00:01.000 A little bit of it.

01:00:01.000 You're airing it out a little bit, whereas a woman is a clam, so there's no resistance.

01:00:06.000 Well, that's why you don't trust guys who sit like Ari with that leg over the top, that cross-legged thing.

01:00:12.000 Yeah, and ironically, he's got a huge bag.

01:00:14.000 He's got a big bag and a big cock.

01:00:15.000 Crazy Jew Jew hog on that guy.

01:00:19.000 Little baby arm.

01:00:22.000 Yeah.

01:00:22.000 Big old fucking sack.

01:00:24.000 He's doing good.

01:00:25.000 He's doing good down there.

01:00:26.000 Watch how she sits.

01:00:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:27.000 Boom.

01:00:29.000 Yeah, wow.

01:00:30.000 That's how a dude sits.

01:00:31.000 That was a manly sit.

01:00:33.000 Even the walk, even the stature, the skeletal frame, everything.

01:00:37.000 Looks like John David.

01:00:38.000 It looks like a guy with tits.

01:00:40.000 Right?

01:00:41.000 Look how it sits.

01:00:41.000 Boom.

01:00:42.000 But that's not the weirdest thing.

01:00:44.000 Let me come out.

01:00:44.000 The weirdest thing that everybody accepts is the fact that they started their relationship when she, air quotes, was 40 and he was like 14 or 15.

01:00:52.000 That's crazy.

01:00:53.000 That's crazy.

01:00:53.000 If that was reversed, guy to girl, that would be a headline.

01:00:56.000 Exactly.

01:00:57.000 Big time.

01:00:58.000 But it's French.

01:00:59.000 It's in France.

01:01:00.000 So they're like, we are different in France.

01:01:03.000 They're sexual people.

01:01:04.000 They didn't fuck with me too in France.

01:01:06.000 They were like, nah, nah, we like sexy.

01:01:07.000 We take the whole country down.

01:01:09.000 Yeah.

01:01:10.000 Men and women.

01:01:10.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:01:11.000 Look, that's a woman, supposedly.

01:01:13.000 Italy.

01:01:14.000 Take her down.

01:01:14.000 Take them all down.

01:01:15.000 Italy's like, we hit the ladies and we cat call.

01:01:18.000 That's our thing.

01:01:19.000 Oh, they're animals.

01:01:20.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:21.000 I was in Rome with my kids in a taxi.

01:01:24.000 It was just me and my kids.

01:01:26.000 And this fucking driver of the taxi stopped the car in the middle of an intersection to cat call some lady.

01:01:34.000 No way.

01:01:35.000 Who had a big ass who was walking across the seats?

01:01:36.000 He's like, Manamona, mana, mia.

01:01:39.000 Look at that ass.

01:01:40.000 And he just kept driving.

01:01:41.000 I was like, these people are animals.

01:01:42.000 It's kind of charming with that voice, though.

01:01:45.000 It is, but you got to realize, like, if you're in Rome, these are the descendants of the people that were there when the Coliseum was running.

01:01:53.000 These are the people that were there when the fucking Roman games, when Rome was conquering the world.

01:01:53.000 Sure.

01:01:58.000 Of course, they're savages.

01:01:59.000 Right, right.

01:02:00.000 They're the descendants of savage, direct descendants of some of the most savage people that ever walked the face of the earth.

01:02:00.000 Of course.

01:02:07.000 Yeah, those gladiators.

01:02:08.000 The Roman Empire.

01:02:09.000 They fought lions.

01:02:10.000 They took over everything.

01:02:11.000 Right.

01:02:12.000 And then they got the Vatican right there, which is a weird fucking country that's in the middle of their city.

01:02:17.000 I think that's good balance.

01:02:18.000 They got crazy shit with the orgies, the wine, and then the gay stuff.

01:02:22.000 And then they got the Vatican.

01:02:23.000 To me, that's kind of healthy.

01:02:24.000 Jesus gives you a free pass.

01:02:26.000 You just got to say you're sorry.

01:02:27.000 Right.

01:02:28.000 You just got to confess.

01:02:29.000 Best loophole of all time was that confession bullshit.

01:02:32.000 I think they did that just to get information on people in the town, find out what they were doing.

01:02:36.000 That's true.

01:02:38.000 God says it's okay.

01:02:39.000 You still go to heaven.

01:02:40.000 You tell the priest.

01:02:41.000 And the priest immediately went and told the mayor.

01:02:44.000 Oh, that's it.

01:02:47.000 100%.

01:02:48.000 Never thought about that.

01:02:49.000 Of course.

01:02:49.000 How else would you get people to tell all the dirty shit that they're doing, all the crime they're committing?

01:02:54.000 Oh, God.

01:02:55.000 That's the way you get them.

01:02:56.000 I went to Catholic school.

01:02:57.000 I told those fuckers everything.

01:02:58.000 Did you?

01:02:59.000 I was in the box going, I jerked off to my aunt.

01:03:02.000 She's got huge tits.

01:03:04.000 I really went off in there.

01:03:05.000 It was like a podcast.

01:03:06.000 I never got to sit in one.

01:03:07.000 I went to Catholic school only for one year when I was first grade.

01:03:10.000 Did you make it out?

01:03:11.000 Oh, I made it out and I was like, I'm never going back again.

01:03:13.000 It queered me off of religion for forever.

01:03:16.000 That's a weird term.

01:03:17.000 Oh, this is not real.

01:03:20.000 Of course.

01:03:20.000 This lady, I don't remember anybody's name from the time when I was six, but Sister Mary Josephine.

01:03:25.000 I'll remember that cunt till the day I die.

01:03:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:27.000 She was so mean.

01:03:29.000 And I was so confused because I had only been with my mom and my dad and my grandparents who were all nice to me.

01:03:36.000 Yes.

01:03:37.000 I had never been around anybody mean to me.

01:03:39.000 Right.

01:03:39.000 And then all of a sudden, around this vicious bitch who's supposed to be like the person of God.

01:03:45.000 Exactly.

01:03:46.000 But they'd wrap your knuckles.

01:03:47.000 I think they were all repressed or something.

01:03:49.000 Oh, 100%.

01:03:50.000 They needed some vitamin D.

01:03:51.000 Yeah, get that dick.

01:03:53.000 They didn't get any.

01:03:54.000 That's a crazy rule, too.

01:03:55.000 You can't fuck.

01:03:56.000 And you know why they came up with that rule?

01:03:57.000 No.

01:03:58.000 Because all the priests were fucking everybody because they were the rock stars.

01:04:00.000 Whoa.

01:04:02.000 They were the guy who talks to Jesus.

01:04:04.000 He's the guy on stage.

01:04:05.000 Yeah.

01:04:05.000 The guy on stage.

01:04:08.000 And he's just, look, get them all.

01:04:10.000 And then they decided, hey, you can't fuck if you want to be a priest.

01:04:14.000 But then they went to kids.

01:04:15.000 Of course.

01:04:16.000 That's what happens.

01:04:16.000 You're only going to get gay guys or pedophiles who are interested in that.

01:04:20.000 Gay guys fuck each other.

01:04:21.000 The pedophiles try to get the kids because you get isolated time with the kids.

01:04:25.000 Right.

01:04:25.000 Like teachers.

01:04:26.000 Like, how many teachers get one of my kids' schools?

01:04:29.000 They just busted a guy.

01:04:30.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:04:31.000 Back in Calabasas.

01:04:33.000 Whoa.

01:04:33.000 Viewpoint.

01:04:34.000 My kid went and took this guy's classes for, I think, two or three years.

01:04:38.000 What?

01:04:39.000 Yep.

01:04:40.000 He was taking upskirts photos, inappropriate photos, was jerking off to him, admitted that the photos made his heart race.

01:04:48.000 And seeing these kids is full-on pedophile, was a part of this very nice private school.

01:04:55.000 Yeah.

01:04:56.000 I think he was there for six or seven years.

01:04:58.000 Did you meet him?

01:04:59.000 I must have.

01:05:00.000 Oh, my lord.

01:05:01.000 Lord.

01:05:01.000 You shook this guy's hand.

01:05:02.000 I must have.

01:05:03.000 He was my kid's teacher.

01:05:04.000 I must have met him.

01:05:05.000 I don't remember him.

01:05:06.000 You got daughters.

01:05:07.000 Uh-huh.

01:05:08.000 Oh, mama.

01:05:09.000 Luckily, nothing happened to them, but they remember he talked too much.

01:05:12.000 Oh, interesting.

01:05:13.000 My daughter said he just kept, he just wouldn't shut the fuck up.

01:05:16.000 Spitting game.

01:05:16.000 He talked too much.

01:05:20.000 What about these Florida whores who keep banging the students?

01:05:22.000 There's something.

01:05:23.000 There's like an epidemic going on.

01:05:24.000 Give them a pass.

01:05:25.000 I mean, look, I'm not knocking it, but that's different.

01:05:28.000 I think that beats priests now.

01:05:30.000 It's only okay if they're hot.

01:05:32.000 Sure, but some of them are like, damn, I'd fuck her.

01:05:35.000 Exactly.

01:05:35.000 Those are okay.

01:05:36.000 I don't know about okay.

01:05:37.000 But if it's some big troll-looking lady with no neck, her chin starts at her, her neck goes straight down to her chest.

01:05:46.000 Some job of the hut looking beast.

01:05:47.000 You'd be like, you monster.

01:05:49.000 What did you do to that boy?

01:05:50.000 Yeah.

01:05:51.000 But if it's some blonde lady with big tits and glassy eyes, like, she's probably on SSRIs.

01:05:56.000 Didn't know what she was doing.

01:05:57.000 Sure, and maybe like the husband can't get it up.

01:05:59.000 And this is a virile 14-year-old basketball player or something.

01:06:03.000 How about that lady who was a mayor?

01:06:05.000 She was a mayor at some town in like Louisiana and she was fucking some 16-year-old.

01:06:10.000 That was crazy.

01:06:12.000 And they show the husband all over the news.

01:06:13.000 I'm like, this poor fucking guy.

01:06:14.000 What a cup.

01:06:15.000 This poor fucking guy.

01:06:16.000 Man.

01:06:17.000 Her fucking wife is getting banged by a high school basketball player.

01:06:20.000 And she was pretty.

01:06:21.000 She was not.

01:06:22.000 Very pretty.

01:06:23.000 Kind of MILFie.

01:06:24.000 Kind of MILFY, for sure.

01:06:25.000 But that's the thing.

01:06:26.000 I have a bit about it.

01:06:27.000 They never show the kid.

01:06:28.000 I want to see that kid.

01:06:29.000 What's he?

01:06:30.000 Is he some kind of young stud?

01:06:31.000 Yeah, a lot of them are.

01:06:32.000 Okay.

01:06:33.000 You just can't see them because it's inappropriate underage and they're victims.

01:06:38.000 You ever hear Zach Galifanakis' joke?

01:06:38.000 Of course.

01:06:40.000 I died a high-fiving?

01:06:42.000 Yes.

01:06:43.000 That's a great joke.

01:06:44.000 Great joke.

01:06:45.000 He was a great joke writer.

01:06:46.000 Oh, he's a great comic.

01:06:47.000 Great comic.

01:06:48.000 Live from the Purple Onion.

01:06:51.000 Great.

01:06:51.000 Yes.

01:06:52.000 Great special.

01:06:52.000 That's a fucking special.

01:06:53.000 He had that thing where he'd get fake angry and play the piano.

01:06:56.000 He's a good dude, too.

01:06:58.000 Good guy.

01:06:58.000 He's a really good dude.

01:06:59.000 Like, every time I've had interactions with him, I'm like, this is a sock.

01:07:03.000 He's like, not Hollywood at all.

01:07:05.000 He's a South Carolina guy.

01:07:05.000 No, no.

01:07:07.000 Bought a farm.

01:07:08.000 Lives on a farm now.

01:07:09.000 I mean, it barely works.

01:07:09.000 Yeah.

01:07:11.000 Yeah.

01:07:12.000 He just kind of lives his life.

01:07:14.000 I mean, he's kind of a phenomen.

01:07:15.000 His stand-up was good.

01:07:16.000 And then he just like, you know, Todd Phillips fought for him in the hangover.

01:07:20.000 They're like, we don't know this fucking guy.

01:07:21.000 He's a nobody.

01:07:22.000 And he's like, I'm telling you, this guy's good.

01:07:23.000 And he stole the movie.

01:07:24.000 Stole the movie.

01:07:25.000 Yeah.

01:07:26.000 No, he's a great comic.

01:07:27.000 And that Between Two Ferns thing.

01:07:29.000 Amazing.

01:07:29.000 Oh, it's brilliant.

01:07:30.000 Amazing.

01:07:30.000 Brilliant.

01:07:31.000 No, he's great, man.

01:07:32.000 Yeah, he just gets you on.

01:07:33.000 He got Seinfeld on.

01:07:34.000 He's trashing him.

01:07:35.000 He's trashing Paul Rudd.

01:07:37.000 He's got like all these.

01:07:39.000 That's great.

01:07:39.000 He was a great friend to Brody, too.

01:07:42.000 Yes.

01:07:42.000 When Brody was going through one of his moments where he got off medication and he got a little crazy.

01:07:49.000 And we started noticing it at the store.

01:07:51.000 Like instead of being funny, he was on stage.

01:07:53.000 He would actually get angry.

01:07:54.000 It was like really weird.

01:07:56.000 And he came back.

01:07:57.000 But there was a while where he was like really lost it.

01:07:59.000 And Zach reached out and he's like, don't interact with him.

01:08:02.000 We're trying to get him treatment.

01:08:03.000 We're trying to get him back on his meds.

01:08:05.000 Like he went off his meds.

01:08:06.000 I love it.

01:08:07.000 He's a good dude.

01:08:08.000 Good dude.

01:08:09.000 There's a video on it.

01:08:09.000 Solid dude.

01:08:10.000 He's out there.

01:08:10.000 Yeah, they're out there.

01:08:11.000 They're out there.

01:08:12.000 Solid people are out there.

01:08:13.000 He's a normal guy.

01:08:14.000 And you could tell these Holly.

01:08:15.000 I feel like Hollywood is like COVID where it fucks your brain up eventually.

01:08:19.000 And he got out and moved to a farm.

01:08:21.000 So that's how you know he's sane.

01:08:21.000 Yeah.

01:08:22.000 But there's people that are in Hollywood that stay solid.

01:08:26.000 Like when I had Matt Damon and Ben Affleck on, I was like, I'd be friends with these guys.

01:08:30.000 Yeah, I listened to that one.

01:08:31.000 They're normal off the mic, on the mic.

01:08:34.000 They're cool.

01:08:35.000 They're cool over there in their lobby.

01:08:38.000 They talk to everybody.

01:08:38.000 They're regular.

01:08:39.000 Like, I've met Matt Damon a few times.

01:08:41.000 I actually ran into him in Italy.

01:08:43.000 It's really crazy in a restaurant where he was sitting below a photo of him.

01:08:48.000 Oh, wait.

01:08:48.000 Because there's photos of all these celebrities that come and eat at this place.

01:08:52.000 Yeah.

01:08:52.000 And he was one of them.

01:08:53.000 And he was there.

01:08:54.000 He was sitting there like, and then I walked, I had met him before, so I go, hey, Matt.

01:08:59.000 He's like, oh, what's up?

01:09:00.000 I was like, but he's cool.

01:09:02.000 He's normal.

01:09:03.000 He's like a regular guy.

01:09:04.000 Well, he hit the lottery with that script.

01:09:06.000 I know, right?

01:09:07.000 Yeah, and they're both like good looking.

01:09:09.000 They're nice.

01:09:09.000 They're cool.

01:09:10.000 They're smart.

01:09:11.000 They're really like Ben Affleck is underrated intelligence.

01:09:11.000 Yes.

01:09:14.000 Like when he was talking about AI and what AI is actually promising versus what they're actually capable of, what they're really trying to do is increase their market cap and get more money invested.

01:09:24.000 I'm like, oh, clever.

01:09:27.000 Clever.

01:09:27.000 And I think he signed some deal with them for millions and like changed the game with Netflix.

01:09:33.000 Big time.

01:09:34.000 Yeah.

01:09:34.000 It's a fucking giant deal.

01:09:36.000 Big deal.

01:09:37.000 That for $600 million, I said.

01:09:39.000 Was that for the rip?

01:09:40.000 No, He sold an AI company.

01:09:43.000 Oh, that's why he knows so much about it.

01:09:44.000 Oh, that makes sense.

01:09:45.000 He kind of broke it down on here, and then like two weeks later, he sold it.

01:09:49.000 That makes sense.

01:09:49.000 He's ahead of the curve, that guy.

01:09:51.000 Yeah, both of those guys are good.

01:09:53.000 And they've stayed friends forever.

01:09:54.000 And banging J-Lo for that many years has got a he gave it his best.

01:09:59.000 He's trying to tame that horse.

01:10:00.000 She sucks.

01:10:03.000 She's quite a Klein's deal.

01:10:04.000 Oh, I bet she's so fun, though.

01:10:06.000 Yeah, but I think she's a malignant narcissist.

01:10:09.000 Duh.

01:10:13.000 But by the way, that's the only way you stay that hot when you're 80 years old.

01:10:16.000 Smoke show.

01:10:17.000 She's a smoke show.

01:10:18.000 Yeah, that rump is she could completely be a granny.

01:10:21.000 I am.

01:10:22.000 And she looks fucking amazing.

01:10:23.000 I want to put a blue ribbon on that, Heine.

01:10:25.000 You got to be a narcissist to keep that up.

01:10:27.000 I guess so.

01:10:28.000 I mean, the skin, her skin's perfect.

01:10:30.000 Everything.

01:10:30.000 How's this?

01:10:31.000 And it doesn't look crazy, like filler.

01:10:33.000 No.

01:10:33.000 Nutty.

01:10:34.000 It just looks like pure.

01:10:35.000 Yeah.

01:10:35.000 But she's just not aging.

01:10:37.000 I know.

01:10:38.000 Nuts.

01:10:39.000 That's at the Puerto Rican blood, I guess.

01:10:41.000 It may be that.

01:10:42.000 It's good genetics for sure, but it's also just upkeep and care and aware, being aware of what you look like and taking care of yourself.

01:10:49.000 Right.

01:10:49.000 Like, I saw one of those Instagram things where they showed people from like the 80s how old they were.

01:10:55.000 Yes, like Archie Bunker.

01:10:57.000 Archie Bunker, when he was playing Archie Bunker, when Ed O'Connell was playing Gardner, he's 10 years younger than me.

01:11:02.000 Carol O'Connor.

01:11:03.000 Carol Connor.

01:11:04.000 That's right.

01:11:04.000 He was 10 years younger than me now.

01:11:06.000 Right.

01:11:06.000 Whoa.

01:11:07.000 I think they did a cocoon one with Paul Rudd and Ed Brimley.

01:11:11.000 Yes.

01:11:12.000 Same age.

01:11:12.000 48.

01:11:13.000 48.

01:11:14.000 You know, Mrs. Robinson was 39.

01:11:17.000 What?

01:11:17.000 39 in the graduate.

01:11:19.000 And she's like the old bag.

01:11:20.000 That's crazy.

01:11:22.000 Now they got 39-year-olds walking on 6th Street who look like, you know, Cindy Crawford.

01:11:22.000 39.

01:11:27.000 Right.

01:11:28.000 I update my hot women.

01:11:29.000 Megan Fox.

01:11:30.000 There you go.

01:11:31.000 Stuck in the 90s.

01:11:34.000 Yeah.

01:11:35.000 It's odd, man.

01:11:36.000 Yeah.

01:11:37.000 Oh, look at that.

01:11:39.000 She looked 39.

01:11:40.000 I guess 39 in the 80s.

01:11:41.000 That's Mel Brooks' wife, you know.

01:11:43.000 Yeah, that's what 39 looked like.

01:11:45.000 That looks like 69.

01:11:46.000 I think she's pretty sexy.

01:11:48.000 Look at that.

01:11:48.000 Not bad.

01:11:49.000 Ooh, not bad.

01:11:50.000 Especially for someone who never went to the gym.

01:11:52.000 Like, the 80s, they didn't do nothing back then.

01:11:55.000 They walked.

01:11:56.000 Well, and the dudes, too, could be completely no definition and still be like a leading man.

01:12:01.000 Right.

01:12:01.000 The only one who was like really ripped back then was Charles Bronson.

01:12:04.000 Wow, yeah.

01:12:05.000 That motherfucker.

01:12:06.000 Action star.

01:12:07.000 Yeah, but he was.

01:12:08.000 I mean, even before he was an action star, like that guy was just fit.

01:12:11.000 Fit.

01:12:12.000 You know when he did Hard Times that movie?

01:12:12.000 Like wiry.

01:12:14.000 Yeah.

01:12:15.000 He was 50.

01:12:16.000 Yes.

01:12:16.000 No.

01:12:17.000 Wow.

01:12:18.000 That's impressive.

01:12:18.000 Yeah.

01:12:19.000 Shredded.

01:12:20.000 Well, all these TRT.

01:12:21.000 Leon Mises old and taken.

01:12:23.000 I was looking this up.

01:12:24.000 The Golden Girls were all playing like 10 years younger than what they were.

01:12:27.000 Wow.

01:12:28.000 That's amazing.

01:12:28.000 Nuts.

01:12:29.000 That's nuts.

01:12:31.000 53.

01:12:32.000 They were playing 79.

01:12:33.000 She was 62.

01:12:35.000 She was playing 53, but she was 63.

01:12:38.000 Oh, wow.

01:12:39.000 That was great.

01:12:39.000 Wow.

01:12:40.000 She was playing 53 and she was 52.

01:12:42.000 The one lady, that's crazy.

01:12:44.000 B. Arthur, Rue McLanahan.

01:12:46.000 Wow.

01:12:47.000 Betty White.

01:12:48.000 And is Betty White still alive?

01:12:49.000 Nah, she kicked it.

01:12:50.000 How old was she?

01:12:52.000 I don't know, but Keith Richards beat her.

01:12:54.000 That guy.

01:12:56.000 How?

01:12:57.000 He's like J-Lo.

01:12:58.000 He's the male J-Lo.

01:12:59.000 I saw the stones at Circuit of the Americas a couple years ago.

01:13:02.000 Fucking incredible.

01:13:04.000 He still shreds.

01:13:04.000 Yeah.

01:13:06.000 I know.

01:13:06.000 Both of them.

01:13:07.000 Jagger's out there.

01:13:08.000 Just dancing around.

01:13:09.000 Like, Jagger's not like standing still.

01:13:12.000 Like, have you seen?

01:13:13.000 It was one of those old guys who was in Vegas.

01:13:16.000 Like, one of them guys from the fucking 60s.

01:13:18.000 Like a Wayne Newton type.

01:13:20.000 Yeah.

01:13:20.000 What is his name?

01:13:21.000 Frankie Valley.

01:13:22.000 Frankie Valley.

01:13:23.000 Bro, it's like all lip-syncing and he can't move his lips anymore.

01:13:23.000 Oh, Valley.

01:13:27.000 Yeah, believe it.

01:13:28.000 And he looks like a statue.

01:13:30.000 It's odd.

01:13:31.000 That is odd.

01:13:32.000 Yeah, those guys.

01:13:32.000 Meanwhile, Mick Jagger's button yo lips.

01:13:36.000 Dancing, moving around.

01:13:38.000 I mean, you're like, and they did a 90-minute show.

01:13:40.000 Wow.

01:13:41.000 Cranking it.

01:13:41.000 He's got very peptides or something.

01:13:43.000 Oh, this guy's dead later.

01:13:43.000 Let's look at this guy.

01:13:45.000 Let me watch some of this.

01:13:47.000 This is like Mitch McConnell.

01:13:48.000 I mean, he's just stiff.

01:13:49.000 But he's like a board.

01:13:51.000 Yeah.

01:13:52.000 You got any volume on this bitch?

01:13:53.000 Poor bastard.

01:13:54.000 What am I talking about it?

01:13:55.000 Well, hats off to still go out there.

01:13:55.000 Oh.

01:13:58.000 It probably has to.

01:14:00.000 He's got debt.

01:14:01.000 Have you seen Barry Mallow?

01:14:02.000 No.

01:14:03.000 Rough.

01:14:04.000 Weird.

01:14:06.000 Go to Barry Mano's Instagram.

01:14:07.000 He sings, but he's got like filler, and it looks like his chin's disappearing.

01:14:15.000 And I don't know how old he is, but he's not that old.

01:14:19.000 Like, look at this.

01:14:20.000 Oh, they start to look trans.

01:14:24.000 God, this is weird.

01:14:25.000 It's like an animatronic.

01:14:26.000 It's Chucky Cheese.

01:14:28.000 That's what it's like.

01:14:28.000 Right?

01:14:31.000 But that's not even a weird one.

01:14:33.000 Go to his one on the far right, right?

01:14:36.000 Click on that.

01:14:38.000 Listen to him talk.

01:14:39.000 Well, it looks like I made it.

01:14:41.000 He's like Kermit the Frog.

01:14:42.000 Fabulous.

01:14:43.000 Look at his hair.

01:14:44.000 That's awesome.

01:14:45.000 Is there any chance?

01:14:45.000 How much would you bet that that's a wig?

01:14:48.000 Everything I own.

01:14:49.000 Everything's fake.

01:14:49.000 It's all fake.

01:14:50.000 Everything.

01:14:51.000 But the face is like, guy, let yourself just age.

01:14:55.000 Don't do the filler in the boat.

01:14:56.000 So this is when he was younger.

01:14:58.000 Yeah, he's a handy.

01:14:59.000 This looks good.

01:15:00.000 This looks legit.

01:15:03.000 It just, when they start pumping stuff into their cheeks, it's just like, look, he got stung by bees.

01:15:08.000 It's just weird.

01:15:09.000 Yeah, it's weird.

01:15:10.000 It's weird, but look.

01:15:12.000 We all know.

01:15:13.000 What do you do?

01:15:14.000 It looks weirder.

01:15:15.000 It's worse.

01:15:15.000 Just age.

01:15:16.000 I know.

01:15:17.000 We like age.

01:15:18.000 With women, it gets really strange because there's a thing that bodybuilders get and anorexics get body dysmorphia.

01:15:25.000 Well, you can't see yourself the way other people see you.

01:15:28.000 So you don't realize that it's weird that your cheeks are that big.

01:15:28.000 Right.

01:15:31.000 Yeah.

01:15:32.000 Is that what it is?

01:15:33.000 Oh, yeah.

01:15:34.000 Well, you know, when you're drawing something and you're painting and you're like, all right, it's done.

01:15:37.000 Hey, I'll add a little more.

01:15:38.000 I'll add a little more.

01:15:39.000 And then before you know it, you ruined it.

01:15:41.000 Well, you get obsessed with the little minutiae and you're just focusing on weird parts of your face.

01:15:46.000 Yes.

01:15:47.000 Maybe you got a weird little smile line right here and you don't like it.

01:15:50.000 You're like, fill it in.

01:15:52.000 Yes.

01:15:52.000 It swells up.

01:15:53.000 You're like, good.

01:15:54.000 And they get used to it.

01:15:54.000 Yeah.

01:15:55.000 We see them after eight months and you're like, good God.

01:15:58.000 Yeah.

01:15:59.000 But they're just gradual.

01:16:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:01.000 So they don't realize how cool.

01:16:02.000 Didn't Ryan Gosling isn't people accusing him of getting a bunch of stuff in his face now, too?

01:16:07.000 Like, there were some photos of him on a red carpet.

01:16:09.000 It looked real weird.

01:16:11.000 I get the hair implants.

01:16:12.000 I get it.

01:16:13.000 Do that all day.

01:16:14.000 But as a dude, you can age.

01:16:16.000 We're like Jason Statham and all these guys.

01:16:16.000 We're all right.

01:16:18.000 They look fine.

01:16:20.000 Yeah, let it go.

01:16:21.000 Let it go.

01:16:22.000 Don't do the filler thing.

01:16:23.000 It's just you're changing the shape of your face.

01:16:25.000 It's also a ratio, the golden ratio of your face.

01:16:30.000 Like when you do something weird to your face, it throws people off.

01:16:34.000 Right.

01:16:35.000 The width of your face and the closeness of your eyes, the size of your nose, all of it fits within a certain ratio.

01:16:42.000 Yeah.

01:16:42.000 And when that ratio is off, like when you have a really thin face, but a small nose, everybody's like, hey, yes.

01:16:48.000 Where's that Ari nose?

01:16:50.000 I need to see that big old beak that makes sense with this shape.

01:16:53.000 We like it.

01:16:54.000 I mean, look at Jennifer Gray.

01:16:55.000 She cut her nose off.

01:16:56.000 Lost her career.

01:16:57.000 Lost her career.

01:16:58.000 She was a cute, you know, little jewarod.

01:17:01.000 Yeah, she had a big nose.

01:17:02.000 She's beautiful.

01:17:02.000 Like, so what?

01:17:03.000 Beautiful.

01:17:04.000 You don't have to be perfect.

01:17:06.000 Perfect ain't the way to go.

01:17:07.000 Look at Bill Murray.

01:17:08.000 That guy looks like an old fart.

01:17:10.000 Yeah.

01:17:11.000 I mean, he looks crazy, but it's Bill Murray.

01:17:13.000 He's a cool guy.

01:17:14.000 I love going.

01:17:15.000 He's my childhood hero.

01:17:16.000 I really enjoyed talking to him.

01:17:17.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:18.000 You had Bill on.

01:17:19.000 He was a good one.

01:17:20.000 That must have been pretty nerve-wracking for you, huh?

01:17:22.000 No.

01:17:23.000 No, it was cool.

01:17:24.000 He was real easy.

01:17:25.000 It wasn't nerve-wracking.

01:17:26.000 He was a little like nuts when you first meet him, but he had no idea who I was.

01:17:30.000 Whoa.

01:17:31.000 He doesn't watch podcasts.

01:17:32.000 Yeah.

01:17:33.000 He had heard of me.

01:17:34.000 He's like, you're Joe?

01:17:35.000 I'm like, yeah.

01:17:36.000 Like, it wasn't bullshitting like some Hollywood people do.

01:17:38.000 I'm sorry, your name is.

01:17:39.000 You know, some people.

01:17:39.000 Right.

01:17:40.000 He wasn't doing that.

01:17:41.000 He's not online, doesn't have a phone.

01:17:43.000 He said he had to get a phone to talk to his kids.

01:17:45.000 That's it.

01:17:45.000 Whoa.

01:17:46.000 Oh, man.

01:17:47.000 No else doesn't have a phone?

01:17:48.000 Woody Harrelson.

01:17:48.000 Woody.

01:17:50.000 Really?

01:17:50.000 You got to get a hold of him?

01:17:51.000 You got to go through his wife.

01:17:52.000 Damn.

01:17:53.000 Sucks with a wife, though.

01:17:55.000 He's happy.

01:17:56.000 He's like, Leave me out of everything.

01:17:58.000 Yeah.

01:17:59.000 You can't get a hold of him through email.

01:18:01.000 Leave me out of it.

01:18:02.000 He seems interesting.

01:18:03.000 I remember that SNL he did?

01:18:04.000 Great.

01:18:05.000 Where he just out of COVID shit?

01:18:07.000 That was interesting.

01:18:07.000 Yeah.

01:18:08.000 Yeah.

01:18:09.000 He's great.

01:18:09.000 I saw him kill Tony once.

01:18:11.000 He hangs out at the club all the time.

01:18:12.000 Really?

01:18:13.000 Yeah.

01:18:13.000 He's in the green room all the time.

01:18:14.000 But he hangs out normal.

01:18:16.000 Like, talks to everybody.

01:18:17.000 He doesn't big time anybody.

01:18:19.000 Like, he's talking to door guys.

01:18:21.000 He's talking to fucking everybody.

01:18:22.000 Normal.

01:18:23.000 Damn.

01:18:24.000 He's cool.

01:18:24.000 Yeah.

01:18:25.000 Cool, dude.

01:18:25.000 I mean, White Man Can't Jump is one of my favorites.

01:18:27.000 He's awesome.

01:18:28.000 He's just, he's real.

01:18:29.000 Like, that guy's a real.

01:18:30.000 I've hung out with him multiple times now.

01:18:32.000 I really enjoy talking to him.

01:18:34.000 There's a few of those guys.

01:18:35.000 They make it through and they're still cool.

01:18:37.000 But one thing that a lot of them have in common is they stay out of social media.

01:18:42.000 They stay offline.

01:18:44.000 They just live.

01:18:45.000 They just live.

01:18:46.000 Yeah.

01:18:46.000 Well, he's in the cloud.

01:18:49.000 You mean he's a pothead.

01:18:52.000 All day.

01:18:53.000 He's like those rappers that call it living in the cloud.

01:18:56.000 I've never heard that.

01:18:56.000 They're never not high.

01:18:58.000 Like a little Wayne or something.

01:19:00.000 High all day.

01:19:03.000 Constantly high.

01:19:04.000 I don't know how they do that shit.

01:19:06.000 I don't know how they do that shit either.

01:19:07.000 Like those people just wake and bake and then go out and do stuff and then they just keep smoking.

01:19:12.000 I mean, there's comics in the green room in New York who'll just smoke weed for like three hours and then go on, then do another set and they hang out.

01:19:17.000 I'm like, if I smoke weed for three hours, I'd be crying in a fetal position.

01:19:22.000 It's insane.

01:19:24.000 Yeah, I wouldn't be getting anything done.

01:19:25.000 No.

01:19:26.000 You'd be so locked in your own head thinking about the world.

01:19:29.000 But I think people's mental chemistry is different.

01:19:32.000 For some people, I think weed is like a legitimate medicine.

01:19:35.000 It keeps them together.

01:19:36.000 Yeah.

01:19:37.000 And they're not hurting anybody.

01:19:39.000 No.

01:19:40.000 Why is it okay to be on SSRIs and OxyContin, but it's not okay to just live in the cloud?

01:19:45.000 That's a good point.

01:19:46.000 They're medicating in a little bit.

01:19:48.000 100%.

01:19:49.000 I mean, that's what I was doing with alcohol as a teenager.

01:19:51.000 I was so anxious and nervous, and I wanted to fit in.

01:19:53.000 I would just drink for like social lube.

01:19:55.000 Most teenagers are doing that for that same reason.

01:19:57.000 They want to be able to go to a party and relax and not feel like everybody hates them or isolated or weird or who's judging me.

01:20:06.000 Just wee!

01:20:07.000 Yeah.

01:20:07.000 Like my nephew, he's 16, never drank, and he's a virgin.

01:20:10.000 He's got no friends.

01:20:11.000 He plays video games all day, and he gives me shit for drinking.

01:20:13.000 He's like, it's so unhealthy.

01:20:15.000 But I'm like, this is unhealthy.

01:20:16.000 Yeah.

01:20:16.000 You're just, you got, you got no friends.

01:20:18.000 You never fingered a girl.

01:20:20.000 You don't go to parties.

01:20:21.000 Nothing.

01:20:22.000 It's weird that there's a lot of kids doing that now.

01:20:24.000 85%.

01:20:26.000 Alcohol sales are 85% down with Gen Z. What?

01:20:29.000 85%.

01:20:31.000 I started a liquor.

01:20:32.000 So I'm fucked.

01:20:32.000 Yeah.

01:20:35.000 But yeah, it's weird.

01:20:36.000 I'm like, how do you cut loose?

01:20:38.000 I think they're all scared of being cringe.

01:20:39.000 They're all scared of being filmed.

01:20:41.000 We were so lucky we could just get after it, fuck up, drive drunk.

01:20:45.000 That's it.

01:20:46.000 I think that's part of it.

01:20:47.000 Somebody told me that kids don't dance at dances anymore because they're too scared of being go viral.

01:20:53.000 You know, look at this white guy dancing like an idiot.

01:20:56.000 Cringe.

01:20:57.000 Hashtag.

01:20:58.000 I think that's part of it.

01:20:59.000 I'm so happy to catch people doing something.

01:21:02.000 Ruin their whole life.

01:21:03.000 That gotcha culture.

01:21:04.000 It's horrible.

01:21:05.000 It's horrible.

01:21:06.000 And the type of people that want to do that, they should be shamed.

01:21:10.000 That is a horrible behavior.

01:21:12.000 1,000% agree.

01:21:14.000 That's where we're at.

01:21:15.000 I mean, people scan videos just to be like, gotcha.

01:21:18.000 Well, you said this.

01:21:19.000 You said that.

01:21:19.000 They go through your old tweets, whatever it is.

01:21:21.000 But we need to flip it and make those guys get in trouble.

01:21:25.000 100%.

01:21:26.000 It's like when someone has a false rape accusation.

01:21:28.000 How come they don't go to jail?

01:21:30.000 You almost made a person go to jail.

01:21:32.000 And it turns out that they didn't do anything, and then you just skate.

01:21:32.000 Right.

01:21:35.000 Yeah.

01:21:36.000 That's insane.

01:21:37.000 They were going to go to jail.

01:21:39.000 Forever.

01:21:40.000 For nothing.

01:21:41.000 For something you made up.

01:21:42.000 And then you just skate because you're a woman.

01:21:44.000 That's insane.

01:21:45.000 Or you're a guy.

01:21:46.000 Sure.

01:21:47.000 There's guys that had fake rape accusations against other men.

01:21:50.000 Right.

01:21:50.000 It's nuts.

01:21:51.000 I know.

01:21:52.000 It's a bummer.

01:21:53.000 But I guess it's human nature.

01:21:54.000 It's powerful.

01:21:55.000 I don't know.

01:21:55.000 I know, but we should punish the people that make fake claims.

01:21:58.000 I agree.

01:21:59.000 That's crazy.

01:22:00.000 They should have to do half the time of the sentence.

01:22:03.000 Like, think about the Amber Heard, Johnny Depp thing.

01:22:05.000 Like, he gets exonerated at the end of it.

01:22:05.000 Yeah.

01:22:07.000 Everybody kind of sees her talk.

01:22:08.000 They go, oh, she made up a bunch of shit.

01:22:10.000 He's okay.

01:22:11.000 Right.

01:22:12.000 But meanwhile, what happened to her?

01:22:14.000 Nothing.

01:22:15.000 Well, she was humiliated, but yeah, she lost some money, I guess.

01:22:18.000 But when you falsely accuse someone of crimes, beating her beating you?

01:22:22.000 She got a makeup lady to put shit on her.

01:22:24.000 He could have gone to jail for 10, 15, 25 years.

01:22:29.000 That's cruel.

01:22:29.000 That's unusual.

01:22:30.000 That's psychopath.

01:22:32.000 Tried to ruin his life.

01:22:32.000 Like, that's what, you know, Jordan Peterson talks about that, that women are, they're experts in reputation destruction.

01:22:39.000 That's what they like to do.

01:22:40.000 And that's what she was trying to do with him.

01:22:41.000 Well, they can't fight.

01:22:43.000 So that's kind of their way, I guess.

01:22:43.000 Right.

01:22:44.000 You know, when they kill people, you know how they do it for the most part?

01:22:47.000 Antifreeze and the oatmeal?

01:22:48.000 Poison.

01:22:49.000 Yeah, they get it slow over time.

01:22:51.000 I was reading about this lady who wrote a book about helping her children get over grief.

01:22:59.000 And she sold this book because her husband died.

01:23:01.000 And then they just arrested her for poisoning her husband.

01:23:04.000 Oh, my God.

01:23:06.000 Wow.

01:23:06.000 She killed all.

01:23:07.000 Yeah, she killed him.

01:23:08.000 It was in 2022.

01:23:09.000 At least they got her.

01:23:10.000 How'd they find out?

01:23:11.000 She was like, crocodile tears.

01:23:13.000 It was so hard for me to lose my beloved Steve or whatever the fuck his name was.

01:23:18.000 Well, did you see the Rebel Wilson thing?

01:23:20.000 Oh, J-Mo.

01:23:20.000 No.

01:23:22.000 She used the guy of sex trafficking.

01:23:26.000 And she accused Sasha Baron Cohen of telling her to grab, to finger his asshole.

01:23:33.000 When meanwhile, what he really said, it's on camera, like she was supposed to grab his ass in a scene.

01:23:33.000 What?

01:23:39.000 And he said, you know, you stuck your finger right up my arse.

01:23:42.000 Like, take it easy.

01:23:43.000 And she said, he told me to finger his asshole.

01:23:43.000 Uh-huh.

01:23:46.000 Something along those lines.

01:23:48.000 Whoa.

01:23:49.000 Why would he say that?

01:23:51.000 Well, he is Sasha Baron Cohen.

01:23:53.000 Sure, sure.

01:23:54.000 He says, yeah.

01:23:55.000 So what did she accuse someone of?

01:23:57.000 She accused a guy of being a sex trafficker, I believe, with children, and they caught her on a hot mic or somebody on a hot mic saying their plan.

01:24:04.000 They like spelled it out.

01:24:06.000 And so she's in hot water.

01:24:06.000 What?

01:24:08.000 Well, she should be going to jail.

01:24:10.000 Sure.

01:24:11.000 You can ruin someone's entire life.

01:24:14.000 Rebel Wilson versus the Deb.

01:24:16.000 What's the Deb?

01:24:17.000 That was the movie.

01:24:18.000 Four lawsuits exploded as leaked audio alleges smear campaign against producer.

01:24:18.000 Oh, okay.

01:24:25.000 Well, she was another lady that used to be really big, and then she got kind of hot.

01:24:30.000 She slimmed down a little bit.

01:24:32.000 So what did they actually catch her?

01:24:37.000 Okay, what it says?

01:24:38.000 The producers.

01:24:40.000 So it says, she alleged this.

01:24:42.000 Page six reported that the dispute intensified after leak audio raised questions about an alleged smear effort linked to a crisis PR team working on her behalf.

01:24:51.000 Wilson used social media to accuse billionaire Sir Len Blavatnik of funding both the film and the legal actions against her.

01:25:03.000 It dates back to 2024.

01:25:04.000 Wilson accused the film's producer, including songwriter Amanda Ghost, of inappropriate behavior towards the lead, played by Charlotte McGinnis.

01:25:13.000 She also accused them of embezzling funds from the film's budget, engaging in retaliatory behavior after she raised concerns and trying to block the film's premiere at the Toronto Film Festival.

01:25:24.000 Yikes.

01:25:25.000 Producers later filed a defamation suit against Wilson in Los Angeles.

01:25:29.000 Wilson then filed a countersuit that expanded on her sexual harassment and embezzlement allegations.

01:25:37.000 McInnis, McInnes?

01:25:38.000 Is it McInnes?

01:25:39.000 Yeah.

01:25:40.000 McInnis publicly denied Wilson's claim that Ghost had sexually harassed her and then filed her own defamation suit against Wilson in Australia.

01:25:49.000 Wow.

01:25:50.000 So the lady she was saying was being sexually harassed filed a defamation suit against her.

01:25:57.000 Another twist.

01:25:58.000 This is when it gets good.

01:25:59.000 Hollywood Reporter published leaked audio that allegedly captures members of Wilson's team discussing fake websites that would paint Ghost as a sex trafficking madam.

01:26:10.000 Wow.

01:26:11.000 In the recording, one person can be heard saying, we can't just do that.

01:26:15.000 Like, oh, she's a bitch.

01:26:17.000 She sucks.

01:26:18.000 It's like, it's got to be really, really heavy and connected to something that heavy.

01:26:24.000 Wow.

01:26:26.000 Go to jail.

01:26:28.000 Yeah.

01:26:29.000 Go to jail.

01:26:30.000 If canceling works, you can use it.

01:26:31.000 You can weaponize it.

01:26:32.000 She addressed the comp Wilson addressed the controversy in a series of Instagram stories.

01:26:36.000 She says, I was going to wait to take the stand, but the absolute bombardment on me as a person via heavily paid crisis PR firms recently has taken its toll, and it's impossible to say nothing, she wrote.

01:26:47.000 She also said, everyone who knows me knows I a true rebel.

01:26:53.000 Oh, she's a rebel because her name's Rebel.

01:26:56.000 I say it how it is.

01:26:57.000 Oh, wow.

01:26:58.000 Another post added, I am pretty strong in all caps.

01:27:03.000 And when push comes to shove, I'm going to get on the stand and tell it like it is.

01:27:07.000 Holy fuck, these people are fucking crazy.

01:27:10.000 Scary stuff.

01:27:11.000 There's so many of these people that are just not just narcissists, but sociopaths at the same time.

01:27:16.000 Right, right.

01:27:16.000 Narcissists and sociopath, and then recently hot.

01:27:20.000 Yeah.

01:27:21.000 So it's like new powers.

01:27:22.000 Exactly.

01:27:23.000 New powers.

01:27:24.000 New hot powers.

01:27:25.000 You know who I'm loving, though, is this Doja cat.

01:27:28.000 So she's some pop star who I don't even know.

01:27:28.000 What about her?

01:27:30.000 I'm an old boomer cleave, but she went after Timothy Chalamay when he made fun of ballet.

01:27:35.000 Did you see that whole thing?

01:27:37.000 Oh, and then she said she was just virtue signaling.

01:27:39.000 Yes, which I commend her.

01:27:41.000 I'm like, she apologized.

01:27:42.000 She goes, I was just trying to get clicks.

01:27:43.000 I'm sorry.

01:27:44.000 That's hilarious.

01:27:45.000 That's great that she backtracked and she came clean.

01:27:48.000 I love that.

01:27:49.000 It is funny that she just admitted it.

01:27:51.000 She's probably high.

01:27:52.000 She's probably high.

01:27:53.000 Like, what am I doing?

01:27:54.000 What the fuck's wrong with me?

01:27:54.000 Either way.

01:27:55.000 I'm on board.

01:27:56.000 We need more of that.

01:27:57.000 We need more people going, ah, fuck.

01:27:59.000 I was high.

01:28:00.000 You know, Louis C.K. said this about social media stuff.

01:28:03.000 He goes, it's just talk.

01:28:04.000 But the problem is it's written down.

01:28:06.000 Like, people say things all the time that aren't right.

01:28:08.000 They shouldn't have said it.

01:28:09.000 But when it's written down, it's like, oh, it's documented.

01:28:12.000 Yeah.

01:28:13.000 You know, and then everyone could read it forever.

01:28:15.000 He goes, but it's just talk.

01:28:16.000 It's just talk that you could read.

01:28:18.000 That's true.

01:28:19.000 It is true.

01:28:20.000 And it's in stone forever.

01:28:21.000 Forever.

01:28:22.000 On the internet.

01:28:23.000 And people are never going to forget it.

01:28:24.000 You could say something retarded at a party when you were drunk and then call your buddy the next morning.

01:28:28.000 Bro, I don't know what the fuck I was saying.

01:28:29.000 I'm sorry.

01:28:30.000 But if it's written on Twitter, they'll never let you forget it.

01:28:34.000 Again, why kids can't fuck around.

01:28:36.000 They can't cut loose because they'll get written about.

01:28:38.000 They must be so paranoid.

01:28:40.000 I feel bad for them.

01:28:41.000 They can't enjoy youth.

01:28:42.000 Youth is when you do stupid shit.

01:28:44.000 And when kids do get shamed, like it will, like, if something happens to you in high school.

01:28:49.000 Oh, it's traumatizing.

01:28:50.000 It's traumatizing.

01:28:51.000 And you can go back to high school.

01:28:52.000 I remember going back to high school, like, years later, like driving by, and I would get nervous.

01:28:57.000 Yes.

01:28:58.000 Yeah, the same.

01:28:59.000 Yeah.

01:28:59.000 The same feeling that you got when you were going to school there.

01:29:02.000 Totally.

01:29:03.000 And I didn't have a horrible high school.

01:29:05.000 No, me neither.

01:29:06.000 But still.

01:29:07.000 Imagine if I did.

01:29:07.000 Still, yeah.

01:29:08.000 Imagine if something terrible went down in high school.

01:29:12.000 And I was there.

01:29:12.000 Like, oh, my God.

01:29:14.000 Well, you see these poor girls who get bullied for being fat, then they become anorexic or whatever.

01:29:18.000 It goes all kinds of different ways.

01:29:21.000 Guys who got beat up, I got bullied pretty bad in school.

01:29:25.000 Yeah.

01:29:25.000 And that can fuck with your confidence forever.

01:29:27.000 Of course.

01:29:28.000 There's some guys that get bullied in high school and they just never recover.

01:29:31.000 Yeah.

01:29:31.000 Now you can do that on social media in two seconds and some kid will kill himself.

01:29:35.000 Yeah.

01:29:36.000 It happens all the time.

01:29:37.000 And then there's like pylons that people do.

01:29:39.000 Yes.

01:29:40.000 When comics do pylons, I'm like, good lord.

01:29:43.000 I have like a mental list of people that do pylons that I'm like, I'll never fuck with you again.

01:29:48.000 I don't want to ever talk to you.

01:29:50.000 Right.

01:29:50.000 If I ever see you, I'm like, you're just, you're waiting to turn on people.

01:29:54.000 It's strange.

01:29:55.000 Yeah.

01:29:56.000 And as Bill Birds, they were all eating a shit sandwich out here.

01:29:59.000 Like, why do you have to make this harder?

01:30:00.000 Yeah.

01:30:01.000 We're trying to be comedians.

01:30:02.000 It's like a crazy job to go for.

01:30:06.000 Well, one thing that they all have in common is they're all not doing well.

01:30:10.000 Like, it's all comics that are failing.

01:30:13.000 I guess so.

01:30:13.000 Yeah.

01:30:14.000 And then they're seeing all these other people that are taking off and doing really well.

01:30:16.000 Like when Shane, when they piled on Shane.

01:30:18.000 Yeah.

01:30:19.000 It was because Shane's talented and they were really kind of scared of him.

01:30:23.000 Right.

01:30:23.000 Because when someone like that guy could take off and now he has taken off and now they're fucked.

01:30:28.000 They can't say nothing.

01:30:29.000 And then we all remember.

01:30:30.000 Of course.

01:30:31.000 Like, hey, you're the cunt that piled on.

01:30:33.000 Yeah.

01:30:34.000 All that shit was going on with SNL.

01:30:35.000 You got you.

01:30:36.000 He got mad at a comic for saying something inappropriate.

01:30:38.000 That's what we do.

01:30:39.000 Not only that, it was completely out of context.

01:30:42.000 He was pretending to be a person who'd never been in Chinatown before, who was a racist.

01:30:48.000 Exactly.

01:30:49.000 That was his quote.

01:30:50.000 But they could get him because he had a big gig.

01:30:52.000 He got a break.

01:30:53.000 So now we can take that away.

01:30:54.000 And that's kind of the root of it.

01:30:56.000 It's losers.

01:30:57.000 You know, it's not like Chris Rock's not trying to take people's gigs away.

01:30:59.000 You know what I mean?

01:31:00.000 It's only losers.

01:31:00.000 Yeah, of course.

01:31:01.000 It's only people that don't have anything going on.

01:31:03.000 Well, Shane's got a, he's got it.

01:31:04.000 He's like fucking Buscemi and Billy Madison.

01:31:07.000 He's putting that lipstick on and he's got a list.

01:31:10.000 Good.

01:31:11.000 Good.

01:31:11.000 Yeah.

01:31:12.000 He knows everybody.

01:31:13.000 Yeah, good.

01:31:14.000 Fuck those people.

01:31:14.000 You don't have to do anything to them, but just know them.

01:31:17.000 Know them for what they really are and never fuck with them again.

01:31:20.000 Yeah, avoid them.

01:31:21.000 Just keep writing jokes.

01:31:22.000 Keep killing and live your life.

01:31:23.000 Keep killing.

01:31:24.000 You don't need those fuckers.

01:31:26.000 And there's always going to be people like that in every business, in every industry.

01:31:30.000 There's always people that aren't doing so well, that haven't got their life figured out.

01:31:33.000 They want to attack the people that do.

01:31:35.000 Yeah.

01:31:36.000 Bro, why do we have beers?

01:31:37.000 What's up with the beers?

01:31:38.000 I brought a few in if you want to.

01:31:40.000 Lone star.

01:31:41.000 I don't like that Bud Light shit.

01:31:42.000 No offense.

01:31:43.000 I don't know.

01:31:44.000 I don't mind it, but I'll prefer a lone star.

01:31:47.000 Cheers.

01:31:47.000 Same.

01:31:48.000 Hey, we're mixing liquors here.

01:31:51.000 My dogs finally went to sleep.

01:31:53.000 Hallelujah.

01:31:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:55.000 Oh, shit.

01:31:56.000 I was going to say something.

01:31:57.000 Doja Cat.

01:31:58.000 Cunts.

01:31:58.000 That was a good idea.

01:31:59.000 A lot of cunts in the world.

01:32:00.000 But there's a lot of great people.

01:32:00.000 Yeah.

01:32:02.000 I think cunts are important because they make you appreciate nice people.

01:32:05.000 You know?

01:32:05.000 Right.

01:32:06.000 If I didn't know any cunts, maybe I wouldn't like you.

01:32:09.000 Right.

01:32:11.000 I see the cunts and I want to hug them.

01:32:12.000 I want to go, come on, what are we doing?

01:32:14.000 I do too, but it doesn't always happen.

01:32:17.000 You know, I made up with Marin.

01:32:19.000 I heard.

01:32:20.000 Good on you.

01:32:20.000 Yeah.

01:32:21.000 Well, the funny thing is you never really started anything.

01:32:23.000 It was all him.

01:32:24.000 But it's that thing.

01:32:25.000 It's like he wasn't doing so good.

01:32:26.000 And he's also separate from us.

01:32:28.000 He's doing great.

01:32:29.000 He's in movies.

01:32:29.000 I know, but it's like he's not doing as well.

01:32:32.000 It's all comparative.

01:32:32.000 I get it.

01:32:34.000 It's so sad.

01:32:35.000 Comparison is the thief of joy.

01:32:37.000 I agree, but he's in the Joker.

01:32:39.000 He's talking to Obama.

01:32:40.000 He's like, he's killing it.

01:32:42.000 He should be killing it.

01:32:43.000 But it's like people compare themselves to other people.

01:32:47.000 It's very toxic.

01:32:48.000 It's very bad.

01:32:49.000 It is.

01:32:50.000 It is.

01:32:51.000 Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

01:32:53.000 Do a better job.

01:32:54.000 That's it.

01:32:54.000 Figure out what you fucked up yesterday.

01:32:56.000 Do better.

01:32:57.000 Compare yourself to your friends and get inspiration from it.

01:33:00.000 Now, were you ever jealous of a guy?

01:33:02.000 Oh, yeah.

01:33:02.000 And you go, I wouldn't mind taking that guy down or that gal.

01:33:05.000 No, no, I never thought.

01:33:07.000 I don't have that instinct either.

01:33:08.000 I never wanted to take someone down, but I definitely have felt jealousy.

01:33:11.000 But then I realized that's a bitch feeling.

01:33:14.000 You know, and they're like, don't, like, you should be inspired.

01:33:17.000 And nothing comes from it.

01:33:18.000 Nothing.

01:33:19.000 But it's also, I came from a martial arts background where you have to have people better than you or as good as you around or you won't get better.

01:33:27.000 Like if you're like in competition, so if you're competing against like elite people all over the country like I was doing when I was in high school and afterwards, if you don't have people in the gym that are better than you, you're going to get fucked up.

01:33:39.000 Like you need to be around the best people in the world.

01:33:42.000 Like I had national champions in my gym.

01:33:44.000 Right.

01:33:44.000 And because of that, I had to rise to a very high level.

01:33:48.000 So they were very valuable to me.

01:33:50.000 Sure.

01:33:51.000 So instead of like being jealous, like, why is he the champ and I'm not the champ?

01:33:54.000 Instead of that, you're like, I see what this guy's doing.

01:33:57.000 I see what he's going through.

01:33:58.000 I want to mirror his behavior.

01:33:59.000 I want to be inspired by him.

01:34:01.000 Step it up.

01:34:02.000 And you can do that with comedy too.

01:34:03.000 With everything else.

01:34:04.000 But I will say martial arts is more objective.

01:34:07.000 That guy pinned you.

01:34:08.000 That guy knocked you out.

01:34:10.000 This comedy thing is subjective.

01:34:11.000 And people go, I'm funnier than that guy.

01:34:13.000 And I'm like, I've never seen you kill.

01:34:15.000 That's true.

01:34:15.000 Right.

01:34:16.000 That's true.

01:34:17.000 That makes it harder.

01:34:17.000 That's why we love sports.

01:34:18.000 Right.

01:34:19.000 There's an ending.

01:34:20.000 Oh, you got more points.

01:34:21.000 The basket goes in the net.

01:34:23.000 Exactly.

01:34:24.000 The ball goes in the basket.

01:34:25.000 That's it.

01:34:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:26.000 But that's the problem.

01:34:27.000 We're so tribal now that people vote the right way or they tweet the right thing, but they're still mean as shit.

01:34:34.000 Like, as Ari would say, good politics, bad people.

01:34:36.000 Yeah.

01:34:38.000 I'd rather you tweet some horrible slur, but be a nice guy.

01:34:43.000 Our priorities are out of whack in society.

01:34:46.000 I think we're rewarding the wrong things.

01:34:48.000 Well, we're really confused because social media is not real.

01:34:52.000 And it's not real human interaction.

01:34:52.000 Right.

01:34:54.000 It's not normal.

01:34:55.000 You're not supposed to be able to just write something and the people that respond just write something back.

01:34:59.000 It's supposed to be dialogue.

01:35:01.000 Yeah.

01:35:01.000 People are supposed to communicate the way we're doing.

01:35:04.000 That's how normal people talk.

01:35:05.000 That way when someone says something nutty, instead of letting them go on for paragraph after paragraph, you go, no, no, that's not true.

01:35:12.000 I never said that.

01:35:13.000 Yes.

01:35:14.000 I never said that.

01:35:14.000 No, you're missing.

01:35:16.000 First of all, you're taking something that was sarcastic.

01:35:19.000 And you're making it like a quote as if this is like what my real feelings were.

01:35:19.000 Yes.

01:35:23.000 And they kind of want it to be real, which is strange.

01:35:23.000 Yeah.

01:35:25.000 You know, they go, we hate racism.

01:35:27.000 I heard this thing where they're like, Bill Burr's a racist.

01:35:29.000 And somebody tweeted his wife's black.

01:35:30.000 And they were like, well, sometimes people marry black women to dominate them.

01:35:34.000 And you're like, give it up, man.

01:35:36.000 And then it's like, I don't know that relationship.

01:35:39.000 Well, his wife tweeted after, shut the fuck up, bitch.

01:35:42.000 Good for her.

01:35:42.000 And you're like, there you go.

01:35:44.000 Yeah, good for her.

01:35:45.000 But also, don't interact with those people.

01:35:45.000 Just go oh shit.

01:35:47.000 Right.

01:35:48.000 It's not, these are not good faith conversations.

01:35:50.000 So do you feel good?

01:35:51.000 I mean, it must be a load off with the Marin makeup.

01:35:54.000 Yeah, it was nice.

01:35:55.000 I never hated that guy.

01:35:56.000 And it was a nice conversation.

01:35:58.000 It was good.

01:35:59.000 And we're going to get together when he's in town.

01:36:00.000 Oh, my God.

01:36:01.000 This is amazing.

01:36:02.000 Break bread to have dinner.

01:36:03.000 I even invited him to the club.

01:36:05.000 I'm like, come, come to the club.

01:36:06.000 It's not what you think it is.

01:36:07.000 So it's just all walks of life.

01:36:08.000 There's a ton of lesbians and gay people.

01:36:11.000 It's like the most diverse fucking place on earth, but they're all talented.

01:36:16.000 It's only diverse by accident.

01:36:18.000 It's diverse just because the talented people all happen to be diverse.

01:36:22.000 It's like UFC.

01:36:22.000 Yeah.

01:36:23.000 Yeah.

01:36:24.000 It's like a Russian guy, a fucking Chinese guy, a white guy.

01:36:28.000 But that's what it's supposed to be.

01:36:30.000 It's supposed to be diversity is supposed to occur naturally if you just let the best people excel.

01:36:35.000 Right.

01:36:36.000 Especially in something like comedy because there's no barrier to entry.

01:36:39.000 It's an open mic night.

01:36:41.000 All you have to do is write on a pad, come up with some ideas.

01:36:44.000 You don't have to have a lot of money to do it.

01:36:46.000 Everybody there that starts out is broke.

01:36:48.000 Well, did you see those Oscars regulations?

01:36:51.000 Grace.

01:36:52.000 That was a bummer because I'm a big movie guy, and that really bummed me out.

01:36:56.000 Fuck the Oscars.

01:36:56.000 Good.

01:36:57.000 Who cares?

01:36:58.000 I mean, I grew up watching it.

01:37:00.000 I love movies.

01:37:01.000 But like the Godfather, all these movies would never have been made.

01:37:04.000 Never.

01:37:05.000 There's a ton of movies that you could never make.

01:37:05.000 Never.

01:37:07.000 You never make Braveheart.

01:37:08.000 Yeah.

01:37:09.000 Right.

01:37:09.000 Or Apocalypto.

01:37:11.000 Or what about all brown people?

01:37:12.000 Yeah.

01:37:13.000 Boys in the Hood.

01:37:14.000 There's no Asian guy in there.

01:37:16.000 And it's a great movie.

01:37:17.000 It's insane that you would have diversity quotas when you're talking about art because you're going to have a, what if you're doing a film about Scotland in the 1400s?

01:37:26.000 Exactly.

01:37:26.000 You can't bring Asian people into the mix.

01:37:29.000 They weren't there.

01:37:30.000 But now you got to write one in, like, oh, this Asian guy is the best doctor in Scotland.

01:37:34.000 And you're like, wait, what?

01:37:35.000 Yeah.

01:37:36.000 It's the 1400s.

01:37:37.000 Right.

01:37:37.000 If you're going to write a thing about feudal Japan, it's going to be all Japanese people.

01:37:42.000 Squid games.

01:37:43.000 Squid games.

01:37:43.000 Right.

01:37:44.000 That's okay.

01:37:45.000 Yeah.

01:37:46.000 I love that show.

01:37:46.000 That's okay.

01:37:47.000 Yeah.

01:37:48.000 Just like Sinners is okay.

01:37:50.000 Have a movie with all black people.

01:37:51.000 Like, it doesn't matter.

01:37:53.000 Right.

01:37:53.000 It's just like, just make movies.

01:37:55.000 And if people like it, they like it.

01:37:57.000 But this idea of having a diversity quota where you have to think about that.

01:38:01.000 Because I've talked to friends that have pitched shows.

01:38:04.000 And when they pitch the show, like Bert was telling me this, he was pitching a show and they were like, where's the diversity?

01:38:11.000 And he's just like sitting there like, I don't know what to tell you.

01:38:13.000 It's a movie about Russians in Russia.

01:38:16.000 What are you fucking saying to me?

01:38:18.000 Where's the diversity?

01:38:19.000 What does that even fucking mean?

01:38:20.000 I know.

01:38:21.000 It doesn't have to be diverse.

01:38:23.000 It just has to be good.

01:38:24.000 And then if you have enough good things, you're going to have diversity across all these different films.

01:38:29.000 Yes.

01:38:30.000 Because there's going to be films about black ballerinas.

01:38:32.000 There's going to be films about people running in the Olympics in 1936 in Germany.

01:38:40.000 Yes.

01:38:41.000 You're going to have films that cover all the bases.

01:38:44.000 I know.

01:38:45.000 And let it just happen.

01:38:46.000 Let it happen.

01:38:46.000 Let's just movie be good.

01:38:47.000 Just let people create what they want to create.

01:38:50.000 And then I think judging art is crazy anyway.

01:38:53.000 I think awards for art are crazy.

01:38:55.000 It's all political, too.

01:38:56.000 It's just nuts.

01:38:57.000 You know, oh, Corsesi wins for the departed.

01:39:01.000 That's not his best movie.

01:39:02.000 Like when they were doing the Golden Glows for podcasts, I'm like, good luck.

01:39:06.000 Get out of here with that.

01:39:07.000 I didn't even submit.

01:39:07.000 Right.

01:39:08.000 I heard.

01:39:08.000 I'm like, get out of here.

01:39:10.000 I'm not going to be a part of your bullshit.

01:39:11.000 Like, you can just decide who's the best and who's deciding.

01:39:14.000 Fuck off.

01:39:15.000 Exactly.

01:39:16.000 Awards for art are just nuts.

01:39:17.000 It doesn't work.

01:39:18.000 And then we all go, how'd they win?

01:39:21.000 Is that because of this?

01:39:22.000 Is he actually really good?

01:39:23.000 You know, and now you're questioning it and you can't even get into it.

01:39:26.000 Well, do you remember Siskel and Ebert?

01:39:27.000 Yes.

01:39:28.000 Well, they were the guys.

01:39:29.000 I love Siskel and Ebert.

01:39:30.000 I loved them too until I saw the outtakes and I realized they were both cunts.

01:39:33.000 I know, but it was fun.

01:39:34.000 Going after each other.

01:39:36.000 They hated each other.

01:39:37.000 Those YouTube outtakes are amazing.

01:39:39.000 Amazing.

01:39:40.000 They fucking hated each other.

01:39:42.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:43.000 But that was a fun show.

01:39:44.000 Two thumbs up, though.

01:39:45.000 It was lighter.

01:39:46.000 Yes.

01:39:47.000 It wasn't like this movie was racist.

01:39:50.000 Right, right.

01:39:51.000 It was just like good or bad.

01:39:52.000 They just judged it based on what they felt watching the movie.

01:39:52.000 Right.

01:39:55.000 And they had educated takes.

01:39:57.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:58.000 Yeah.

01:39:59.000 But that's where a film, that's where, that's where that not awards for art, but recommendations for art by people that you appreciate.

01:40:07.000 Yes.

01:40:08.000 I just picture the Academy going, damn, that's a good movie.

01:40:12.000 But, you know, isn't that a trans guy in a wheelchair?

01:40:16.000 And this one does that.

01:40:17.000 They used to do it with retards.

01:40:19.000 That was a big thing with Oscars.

01:40:20.000 It was like, oh, this guy's playing a tard.

01:40:23.000 We got to give it to him.

01:40:24.000 Exactly.

01:40:25.000 And now it's more skin color based.

01:40:27.000 And then they got to Tropic Thunder where they never go full retard.

01:40:30.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

01:40:31.000 They killed that genre.

01:40:32.000 Yeah.

01:40:33.000 You never see people playing handicapped people in a film anymore.

01:40:36.000 But that movie's great because it shows Robert Downey is in full black everything.

01:40:40.000 Yes.

01:40:41.000 And everybody's like, he nailed it.

01:40:42.000 I asked him about that.

01:40:44.000 I said, do you think you could do that movie today?

01:40:45.000 He goes, well, you could do it.

01:40:52.000 It'd be a fucking problem.

01:40:53.000 Yeah.

01:40:54.000 He was the last guy to do Blackface and not get canceled.

01:40:57.000 Yeah, and he fucking killed it.

01:40:59.000 Killed it.

01:41:00.000 It was amazing.

01:41:01.000 That movie was fucking amazing.

01:41:03.000 It was amazing.

01:41:04.000 It had the last completely politically incorrect movie, and it is hilarious.

01:41:08.000 It's so good.

01:41:08.000 I know.

01:41:09.000 You know who kills it in that movie?

01:41:10.000 Tom Cruise.

01:41:11.000 Killed it as the crazy agent.

01:41:13.000 That dancing.

01:41:15.000 That guy's so good.

01:41:16.000 He's good.

01:41:17.000 He's so good.

01:41:18.000 I was just talking the other day about that movie Collateral with Jamie Foxx when he played Batman.

01:41:23.000 Great movie.

01:41:24.000 I just watched it like a couple of months ago.

01:41:24.000 That movie.

01:41:26.000 I was like, this movie's so fucking good.

01:41:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:29.000 He's so convincing.

01:41:31.000 He's a complete psychopathic killer.

01:41:31.000 So scary.

01:41:33.000 Yeah, and there's not much going on, but those two together, the chemistry was amazing.

01:41:38.000 Well, when things happen, they're so crazy.

01:41:40.000 Yes.

01:41:40.000 Like that scene in the alleyway where he shoots those two guys and trying to rob him.

01:41:43.000 Great.

01:41:44.000 He's like, fuck yeah.

01:41:45.000 Yeah.

01:41:46.000 And hats off to Jamie Foxx.

01:41:47.000 I mean, he's so good in that movie.

01:41:49.000 He plays like a kind of a nerdy, scared guy, and then he can play Ray.

01:41:53.000 Yes.

01:41:54.000 That guy can do anything.

01:41:55.000 Yeah.

01:41:55.000 He had a thing.

01:41:56.000 I love that guy.

01:41:56.000 Yeah.

01:41:57.000 He's a talent.

01:41:57.000 He's great.

01:41:58.000 He's a super talented guy and a really nice guy.

01:42:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:42:01.000 And I've met him off, like, I met him at a gas station once.

01:42:04.000 He was taking his daughter home from a martial arts class.

01:42:09.000 Wow.

01:42:09.000 And we were just pumping gas next to each other.

01:42:11.000 And some guy pulls up in one of those.

01:42:13.000 Have you ever seen those Resvani trucks?

01:42:15.000 Do you know what that is?

01:42:15.000 No.

01:42:16.000 It's a crazy, like, futuristic looking bulletproof car.

01:42:20.000 It's like a Resvani tank.

01:42:22.000 Oh, my God.

01:42:22.000 Pull it up.

01:42:23.000 Oh, it's cool looking.

01:42:24.000 Is it electric?

01:42:25.000 No.

01:42:26.000 No, this is a long time ago before Electric Cars.

01:42:28.000 This was probably 2000.

01:42:30.000 Well, there were some Teslas, the real small ones that were based on the Lotus platform back then.

01:42:35.000 But this was like 2014 or 15 or something like that.

01:42:37.000 That thing.

01:42:38.000 Whoa.

01:42:39.000 He pulled up in that.

01:42:40.000 That's Jamie Foxx's car.

01:42:41.000 That's like a Batmobile kind of thing.

01:42:43.000 Exactly.

01:42:44.000 So he pulled up next to me.

01:42:46.000 And I was like, who's driving that fucking thing?

01:42:49.000 And Jamie Foxx got, what's up, Joe?

01:42:51.000 What's up, Jamie?

01:42:52.000 What do you do?

01:42:53.000 But he's cool.

01:42:54.000 He's like a normal dude.

01:42:56.000 He did stand-up.

01:42:56.000 Yeah, and he did it all.

01:42:57.000 He did it living color.

01:42:58.000 He had his own sitcom.

01:43:00.000 All in the movies.

01:43:01.000 Ultra-talented.

01:43:02.000 Can sing.

01:43:03.000 He can act.

01:43:03.000 Oh, yeah.

01:43:04.000 And he can act in comedy.

01:43:05.000 He can act in drama.

01:43:07.000 He can play a nerd.

01:43:08.000 He can play a killer.

01:43:09.000 He can play anything.

01:43:10.000 I just re-watched Ray.

01:43:11.000 It's incredible.

01:43:12.000 It's amazing.

01:43:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:43:14.000 He kills that role.

01:43:16.000 How good is he singing it?

01:43:17.000 It's him singing.

01:43:19.000 Yeah.

01:43:19.000 I didn't realize Ray was such a junkie.

01:43:21.000 Was he?

01:43:22.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:43:22.000 Big heroin guy.

01:43:23.000 That's why he was all moving like that.

01:43:25.000 He was all wonked out on the H. You know, people say Stevie Ray Wonder can sing.

01:43:30.000 Or Stevie Wonder, rather, could sing?

01:43:32.000 Could see.

01:43:32.000 Can see.

01:43:33.000 I've heard that.

01:43:34.000 He catches it.

01:43:35.000 The microphone falls and he catches it.

01:43:37.000 So that's a big conspiracy theory.

01:43:38.000 But looking back, that's like such a gentle, light conspiracy compared to what the fuck we got going on today.

01:43:45.000 I know, right?

01:43:46.000 Yeah, that Elvis is real.

01:43:48.000 Like, we used to have a fun, kind of playful conspiracy.

01:43:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:43:53.000 And then now it's all out of whack.

01:43:55.000 Now it's McCrone's got a dick.

01:43:58.000 Exactly.

01:43:59.000 I've heard Erica Kirk's got a dick.

01:44:01.000 I've heard that one.

01:44:01.000 Whoa, she seems thrilled right now.

01:44:04.000 She's an odd duck.

01:44:05.000 She's a Kook for sure.

01:44:06.000 Have you ever seen the compilation of her making crazy eyes?

01:44:09.000 No.

01:44:09.000 There's a video of her making demon eyes, and every time she makes the eyes, the music...

01:44:14.000 It's so ridiculous.

01:44:16.000 She's possessed.

01:44:17.000 Well, she just gets intense.

01:44:18.000 She's like the guy.

01:44:19.000 What's the gang gang guy?

01:44:20.000 What's that guy?

01:44:22.000 Look at that.

01:44:22.000 Oh my God.

01:44:23.000 She looks like a television.

01:44:24.000 Give me some volume.

01:44:26.000 She's talking to Barry Weiss.

01:44:27.000 There you go.

01:44:28.000 Watch this.

01:44:28.000 Pay attention to her eyes.

01:44:30.000 Charlie said or believed things that they believed were controversial or even hateful, that he somehow had it coming.

01:44:39.000 What do you say to people who justified you're sick?

01:44:45.000 He's a human being.

01:44:47.000 Oh, boy.

01:44:49.000 Exactly when Barry is saying, they basically said that because Charlie said or believed.

01:44:54.000 All right, we don't need the Vincent.

01:44:55.000 That's not enough for you.

01:44:56.000 That's not the one that I wanted to hear.

01:44:57.000 Okay.

01:44:58.000 But yeah, she seems, she's having a good time.

01:45:00.000 Well, she was on a reality show, you know.

01:45:02.000 So she's a star fucker.

01:45:02.000 Yes.

01:45:04.000 A little bit.

01:45:04.000 Maybe.

01:45:05.000 She was also in some weird CIA documents or CIA films.

01:45:08.000 Is that right?

01:45:09.000 Yeah.

01:45:09.000 You ever seen those films?

01:45:10.000 No, no.

01:45:11.000 See if you can find those films.

01:45:13.000 There's some weird, like, internal films that they made that she was a part of.

01:45:19.000 She looks like if a pageant lady, a pageant girl, was grown up.

01:45:23.000 100%.

01:45:24.000 Yeah, look at that.

01:45:25.000 Yeah, well, I mean, she essentially was a pageant lady.

01:45:28.000 Oh, really?

01:45:29.000 Right?

01:45:29.000 Wasn't she in Miss USA or one of those things?

01:45:31.000 I don't know, maybe.

01:45:32.000 Wasn't she, Jamie?

01:45:33.000 She got that kind of face.

01:45:34.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:45:35.000 Well, there's a thing that people want, right?

01:45:39.000 That attention fame thing.

01:45:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:41.000 That is what they really want.

01:45:42.000 Okay, so Jamie will find it.

01:45:44.000 She's got fireworks behind her.

01:45:46.000 She's wild.

01:45:47.000 Erica Kirk CIA video releases Serious Questions.

01:45:50.000 That's the one I just played.

01:45:51.000 Yeah.

01:45:52.000 It had a five-second clip, and the rest was not.

01:45:54.000 Oh, but the full video is out there.

01:45:56.000 I watched it.

01:45:57.000 And it's very weird.

01:45:59.000 So it's the same video.

01:46:00.000 So see if you play it.

01:46:02.000 It's about EMP attacks and power grids.

01:46:04.000 The whole rest of this was not that clip.

01:46:06.000 None of it?

01:46:06.000 Nope.

01:46:07.000 Well, a gig's a gig.

01:46:08.000 I think if you're a struggling actor, you take any kind of employee video or whatever.

01:46:12.000 I guarantee you that video is out there.

01:46:14.000 I mean, no one could have pulled it.

01:46:16.000 Well, there's the Jimmy Door video there.

01:46:18.000 Here it is.

01:46:19.000 Here it is.

01:46:20.000 Look at this.

01:46:21.000 Extremely vulnerable that we've presented to congressional officials.

01:46:24.000 One being cyber, two being hackers, three being physical threats.

01:46:29.000 Fourth one is solar EMP.

01:46:32.000 And the fifth one is man-made EMP.

01:46:34.000 So the concern that we have is that we put out this critical information, and when we go over this risk analysis, they hear what we're saying, but they don't want to take action.

01:46:43.000 Take action.

01:46:44.000 Well, there are 18 critical infrastructures.

01:46:47.000 It's weird, but very weird.

01:46:49.000 She's doing a CIA informational video.

01:46:52.000 Weird.

01:46:52.000 Acting gig, or is this something else?

01:46:54.000 Perhaps.

01:46:55.000 Or, you know, but even so.

01:46:57.000 You're doing an acting gig for the CIA.

01:47:00.000 Who calls you for that?

01:47:01.000 Yeah.

01:47:02.000 Do you ever get one of those calls?

01:47:03.000 No.

01:47:03.000 No, I've never got one of those calls.

01:47:04.000 And my agent never hit me with that one.

01:47:06.000 It's odd.

01:47:06.000 Yeah.

01:47:07.000 Well, there's a lot of people that think that she was his handler.

01:47:10.000 So it was Charlie Kirk's handling.

01:47:11.000 But of course, there's a lot of people that think I have antlers.

01:47:13.000 Yeah.

01:47:14.000 Well, you got about nine Navy SEALs out there.

01:47:17.000 They're not handlers.

01:47:17.000 They're my friends.

01:47:18.000 I know those guys.

01:47:19.000 Okay.

01:47:20.000 Tough dudes.

01:47:21.000 They are tough dudes.

01:47:23.000 They know some stuff.

01:47:24.000 There's a lot of kooks out there, bro.

01:47:25.000 That's true.

01:47:26.000 I mean, you just had a shooter on 6th Street.

01:47:28.000 Finally, a guy in Austin kills.

01:47:28.000 Yeah.

01:47:31.000 Only with three people, though.

01:47:33.000 We don't have to get to the Austin, New York debate.

01:47:36.000 That's a stupid day.

01:47:38.000 It's all silly.

01:47:38.000 What are we doing?

01:47:39.000 Louis J. Gomez getting involved in these things.

01:47:42.000 Settle down.

01:47:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:47:44.000 Just more comedy, the better.

01:47:45.000 Keep putting it in every city.

01:47:47.000 I know, right?

01:47:48.000 Give me more good clubs.

01:47:48.000 Yeah.

01:47:49.000 How is New York these days?

01:47:51.000 New York's good.

01:47:52.000 We got all these clubs opening up still.

01:47:52.000 I mean, we're humming.

01:47:55.000 Yeah.

01:47:55.000 War opening.

01:47:55.000 War opening?

01:47:56.000 It's crazy.

01:47:56.000 Yeah.

01:47:57.000 And comedy's hot, as you know.

01:48:00.000 Comedy has been.

01:48:01.000 The more fucked up the world is, the more hot comedy is.

01:48:04.000 Yeah.

01:48:04.000 That's probably true.

01:48:05.000 But it's legitimized now.

01:48:05.000 Yeah.

01:48:07.000 You know, everybody takes it seriously.

01:48:09.000 Before, you were kind of a clown.

01:48:10.000 Now they're like, oh, let's go see some comedy and listen to them talk about Iran.

01:48:14.000 Well, I think one of the things that helped is podcasts because people hear comics talk about it and they realize like, oh, these are thinking people that are going through this very bizarre art form that doesn't have a playbook.

01:48:25.000 Yes.

01:48:26.000 And we have no rules.

01:48:28.000 Now Oscars have all these rules.

01:48:30.000 We will never have rules.

01:48:31.000 And if we do, the whole art form is fucked.

01:48:33.000 Well, they've tried to put rules in in certain clubs and those clubs always fall apart.

01:48:37.000 That's true.

01:48:38.000 You know, you can't do that.

01:48:39.000 Well, it's so fucking gay because they're all like, we love Richard Pryor.

01:48:42.000 I'm like, if he was around today, you'd hate him.

01:48:44.000 He hit his wife.

01:48:44.000 Right.

01:48:45.000 He was a drug addict.

01:48:47.000 He was a psycho.

01:48:48.000 Kinnison.

01:48:49.000 Kinnison.

01:48:50.000 One of the fucking greatest comics that's ever lived.

01:48:52.000 Completely out of his mind.

01:48:53.000 And also the best example of someone who did not punch up.

01:48:57.000 Yeah.

01:48:58.000 He punched down all the time.

01:49:00.000 He punched down about starving people in Africa.

01:49:03.000 Yeah.

01:49:03.000 I love.

01:49:04.000 Where do we decide punching down was not funny?

01:49:07.000 They're stupid.

01:49:07.000 It's hilarious.

01:49:08.000 I had a guy once that was a professor that taught comedy, and he wrote a book on comedy.

01:49:13.000 And he tried to tell me that punching down is never funny.

01:49:16.000 I go, that is wrong.

01:49:18.000 That doesn't make sense.

01:49:19.000 I go, because Sam Kinnison, one of the greatest bits of all time, was him doing a bit about the starving people in Africa.

01:49:19.000 You're wrong.

01:49:26.000 Right.

01:49:26.000 Yeah, it's a legendary bit.

01:49:28.000 David Tell has 18 minutes on midgets.

01:49:30.000 That's literally punching down.

01:49:32.000 Like, they're little, but it's funny.

01:49:34.000 If it's funny, it's funny.

01:49:35.000 If it's funny, it's funny.

01:49:36.000 And sometimes it's funny because it's wrong.

01:49:38.000 Yes.

01:49:39.000 Sometimes it's funny.

01:49:40.000 It's like, oh my God, what are he saying?

01:49:42.000 Exactly.

01:49:42.000 I know.

01:49:43.000 Or Holtzman.

01:49:44.000 Holtzman, hilarious.

01:49:45.000 Perfect example.

01:49:46.000 People try to take Holtzman literally.

01:49:48.000 I've seen comics complain about the mothership because they let a guy come up and say these things.

01:49:53.000 Right.

01:49:53.000 What guy?

01:49:54.000 Brian Holtzman?

01:49:55.000 Right.

01:49:56.000 Like, talk to Brian Holtzman offstage.

01:49:58.000 It's Jekyll and Hyde.

01:49:59.000 Completely.

01:50:00.000 Nicest guy in the world.

01:50:01.000 Sweetheart of a guy.

01:50:02.000 Yeah.

01:50:02.000 Friendly.

01:50:03.000 Loves everybody.

01:50:04.000 Super kind.

01:50:04.000 He's like a camp counselor.

01:50:05.000 He's wearing a polo and slacks.

01:50:07.000 The nicest fella.

01:50:08.000 Yeah.

01:50:08.000 On stage, he becomes this character that he's created over the years.

01:50:12.000 And it's amazing.

01:50:13.000 But we do the hierarchy thing.

01:50:14.000 And by that logic, I should be able to make fun of Asians because they're doing the best.

01:50:19.000 They are doing the best.

01:50:20.000 Asians are number one, then honky, and then who knows.

01:50:22.000 But so by that logic, I should be able to do a Ching Chong, whatever.

01:50:26.000 Right.

01:50:26.000 Because, you know, by your logic, hey, I'm punching up.

01:50:30.000 They're killing it.

01:50:30.000 Right.

01:50:31.000 They are, especially academically.

01:50:33.000 I mean, they're killing it so hard that they've made rules to try to eliminate Asian people from universal college.

01:50:40.000 Yes, there's fucking lawsuits about it.

01:50:42.000 They made it more difficult.

01:50:44.000 They have to get higher scores.

01:50:45.000 That's crazy.

01:50:46.000 It's not because they kill it.

01:50:48.000 They work so hard.

01:50:49.000 But what a crazy kind.

01:50:50.000 Hey, you look like that guy.

01:50:51.000 We got too many of you guys who look like this.

01:50:53.000 You're trying too hard.

01:50:55.000 It's like a union job.

01:50:56.000 Hey, slow down.

01:50:58.000 Right, right.

01:50:58.000 You're fucking it up for the rest of us.

01:51:01.000 But yeah, let them keep killing it.

01:51:03.000 Let them be smart and invent shit and run the country.

01:51:05.000 I don't care.

01:51:06.000 Exactly.

01:51:07.000 Make it so that, you know, there's a legitimate competition where the other people realize, okay, we're not working as hard.

01:51:13.000 They're working harder.

01:51:14.000 We got to catch up.

01:51:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:51:15.000 You can't just slow them down and remove them.

01:51:19.000 Too many Asians in Harvard.

01:51:20.000 Fuck you.

01:51:21.000 Yes.

01:51:22.000 That's why Japan, you can leave a Rolex on a bench.

01:51:24.000 Because they're better in a lot of ways.

01:51:24.000 Yeah.

01:51:27.000 Let them be better.

01:51:28.000 We don't all have to be the same.

01:51:30.000 You know, that's the same thing about Dubai.

01:51:32.000 A buddy of mine moved to Dubai and he said, he's black, and he was saying that in America, he goes, dude, I go to a nightclub.

01:51:39.000 I worry about being shot.

01:51:40.000 He goes, there's none of that there.

01:51:42.000 And he goes, and if you could just leave a diamond, like a diamond ring on the ground, somebody will pick it up and turn it into the police.

01:51:48.000 Damn, there's no theft.

01:51:50.000 How do they do that?

01:51:51.000 Is that cultural?

01:51:52.000 Is that raised better?

01:51:53.000 What is that?

01:51:54.000 Laws, hardcore laws.

01:51:55.000 They have monarchs.

01:51:57.000 They have kings.

01:51:58.000 They have a king over there.

01:51:59.000 And he's like, you can't fuck around.

01:52:01.000 There's no fucking around.

01:52:02.000 If you fuck around, they will lock you up.

01:52:04.000 And that's it.

01:52:05.000 And there's no if-ands or buts.

01:52:06.000 There's no social justice warriors.

01:52:09.000 There's no people that are going to give you no cash bail and let you out because, you know, oh my God, the system's racist.

01:52:14.000 No, no, no, no.

01:52:15.000 You commit a crime, you go to fucking jail.

01:52:17.000 So nobody goes to jail because nobody commits crimes.

01:52:20.000 Damn, is that what it is?

01:52:21.000 Yes.

01:52:23.000 You fuck around over there.

01:52:24.000 Like, there's an American lady went over there and she got in arguments with people at the airport.

01:52:29.000 And they're like, you're going to jail.

01:52:30.000 Whoa.

01:52:31.000 She was yelling at people.

01:52:31.000 Locked her up.

01:52:32.000 She was trying to do the thing they do at Spirit Airlines in America.

01:52:35.000 Like, uh-uh.

01:52:37.000 Well, the fist fights on airplanes has gone up from if you go 1960 to 2025, it's got to be up 8,000%.

01:52:37.000 Not here.

01:52:45.000 What happened?

01:52:46.000 What happened?

01:52:46.000 I don't know.

01:52:47.000 What happened?

01:52:48.000 Why we lose our fucking marbles?

01:52:50.000 Maybe because flights got cheaper and you get bus people on a flight.

01:52:54.000 You know what I mean?

01:52:55.000 Right?

01:52:56.000 Bus people were the people who were cutting people's heads off on the fucking interstate truck.

01:53:01.000 Yeah, I assume that's what it is.

01:53:03.000 Because back in the day, they wore a suit and they had a cocktail and they smoked.

01:53:07.000 But taking a flight back then was a big game.

01:53:10.000 You ever traveled by bus?

01:53:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:53:13.000 I did a few bus gigs back in the day because my car broke down.

01:53:16.000 I didn't have any money.

01:53:17.000 And so I had to travel by bus.

01:53:19.000 It hurts.

01:53:21.000 The people you have to hang out with.

01:53:23.000 It's like the dregs of society.

01:53:26.000 We're on these greyhounds.

01:53:27.000 It really.

01:53:28.000 You know where else you see that is I still do the free breakfast at the Holiday Inn.

01:53:33.000 Oh, the characters you see in there.

01:53:34.000 It's like a family, then it's a guy with a neck tattoo, an ex-con, a tweaky meth guy, and then me.

01:53:40.000 I was watching a video about how people that don't stay in that hotel sneak into these hotels.

01:53:44.000 I used to do that.

01:53:45.000 Did you?

01:53:46.000 Yeah, they just walk right in.

01:53:47.000 You got pajama pants on.

01:53:48.000 You pull an all-nighter, you go get the free breakfast.

01:53:51.000 They're not going to stop you.

01:53:53.000 They assume you're staying there.

01:53:54.000 Yeah, well, I just want to make it nice for everybody.

01:53:56.000 Yeah, you can make a waffle.

01:53:58.000 Yeah, but staying in a shitty hotel teaches you a lot about humans.

01:54:01.000 That's true.

01:54:02.000 That's what road gigs are really good for.

01:54:04.000 You meet the people that are working the fucking counter.

01:54:06.000 Right.

01:54:07.000 Sad.

01:54:08.000 Yeah.

01:54:09.000 Frowny-faced dude working the counter.

01:54:11.000 The crazy ones are those, like, what do they call it when you like, you can kind of live there?

01:54:14.000 They have a kitchenette.

01:54:15.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:16.000 You know, the extended stays.

01:54:18.000 Yeah, there's like dogs everywhere, and it's like people making crack on the stove and shit.

01:54:23.000 You know who's in a hotel now?

01:54:24.000 Mickey Rourke.

01:54:26.000 Yeah, he's in a hotel in Hollywood now.

01:54:26.000 Really?

01:54:28.000 He got evicted.

01:54:29.000 He doesn't have any money anymore.

01:54:31.000 Yeah.

01:54:31.000 What?

01:54:32.000 It's a sad story.

01:54:34.000 Oh, he was a hot guy and a great actor.

01:54:36.000 Oh, he was great.

01:54:37.000 Rumblefish.

01:54:38.000 Oh, my God, dude.

01:54:39.000 So many films.

01:54:40.000 Angel WrestleMania.

01:54:41.000 Yes.

01:54:42.000 Oh, my God.

01:54:43.000 He was incredible.

01:54:43.000 So good.

01:54:44.000 Well, Wrestler was when he was making a comeback.

01:54:46.000 Right.

01:54:47.000 So he made a comeback for a little bit.

01:54:48.000 He was an Iron Man, remember?

01:54:50.000 He was great.

01:54:51.000 But, you know, I don't know, man.

01:54:53.000 I think.

01:54:53.000 He got a lot of work done.

01:54:55.000 But he made it after he got a lot of work done.

01:54:55.000 He did.

01:54:57.000 He's still the comeback, the wrestler and everything was after the work.

01:55:00.000 Yeah.

01:55:01.000 You know, but the thing was, like, he did a lot of boxing.

01:55:04.000 Oh.

01:55:05.000 Remember, like, he didn't like the fact that he was like a big actor.

01:55:08.000 He wanted to be more of like a real person and a man.

01:55:12.000 So he started having fights.

01:55:13.000 So he's having like legitimate boxing matches.

01:55:15.000 Allegedly legitimate.

01:55:17.000 Some of them look sus.

01:55:18.000 Some of them look like people laid down.

01:55:18.000 Sure.

01:55:20.000 But when you think about that, if he's sparring, so he was sparring like James Toney and like real people, you're probably getting the fucking brains beaten out of him.

01:55:28.000 And he probably went a little squirrely.

01:55:30.000 Yeah, CT is no joke.

01:55:31.000 It's no joke, dude.

01:55:32.000 It'd be the Aaron Hernandez, all these guys.

01:55:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:55:35.000 Oh, a lot of these MMA fighters that I talked to.

01:55:37.000 Like, you know, they're struggling.

01:55:39.000 Yeah.

01:55:40.000 Who are these ladies who are like, oh, I'll date this guy?

01:55:42.000 Because they're exciting and dangerous.

01:55:44.000 That's why.

01:55:45.000 They'll fucking hang you.

01:55:45.000 Dangerous.

01:55:48.000 Yeah.

01:55:48.000 I think he hung himself, actually.

01:55:50.000 Who hung himself?

01:55:51.000 Aaron Hernandez.

01:55:52.000 In jail, right?

01:55:53.000 But he had killed a bunch of people already.

01:55:55.000 Yeah.

01:55:57.000 He was killing people while he was in the NFL.

01:56:00.000 Yeah.

01:56:00.000 He was a wild motherfucker.

01:56:02.000 But then they said when they checked his CTE after he was dead, like, yeah, like some of the worst CT they've ever seen.

01:56:07.000 Really?

01:56:07.000 Yeah.

01:56:08.000 His brain was gone.

01:56:09.000 Well, there you go.

01:56:10.000 A friend of mine who has CTE was explaining it to me.

01:56:14.000 And the way the doctor was explaining to him, like, most people have several steps to go to before they lose control of their impulses.

01:56:24.000 Like, you have an initial thought, and then your brain comes in and goes, don't do that.

01:56:28.000 Yeah.

01:56:28.000 And then there's another one.

01:56:29.000 It ramps up a little bit.

01:56:31.000 This is getting serious, but let's not get out of hand.

01:56:33.000 But someone with CTE, first initial thought, right into DEF CON 5.

01:56:38.000 Whoa.

01:56:39.000 They just immediately go.

01:56:40.000 No buffer.

01:56:41.000 No buffer.

01:56:43.000 No impulse control.

01:56:44.000 Cocaine, women, whiskey.

01:56:46.000 Right.

01:56:46.000 Whatever it is.

01:56:47.000 Like the most, especially with booze, you add booze, loss of inhibition.

01:56:51.000 No impulse control.

01:56:51.000 Yep.

01:56:54.000 Shoot out with the cops.

01:56:55.000 You know, it's like right to the worst case scenario.

01:56:58.000 Remember that Bill Burr bit?

01:57:00.000 He's like, I'm driving down the street.

01:57:01.000 I see a bunch of people on the sidewalk.

01:57:02.000 Just a quarter-inch turn to the right.

01:57:04.000 I'll just mow them all down.

01:57:05.000 Yeah.

01:57:05.000 You have that thought, but then you don't do it.

01:57:07.000 Everybody has those thoughts.

01:57:08.000 You go up on top of a building and you're like, I could jump.

01:57:08.000 Yeah.

01:57:12.000 You have that for a second, then you pull back.

01:57:15.000 Some people just don't have it.

01:57:16.000 I guess so.

01:57:17.000 Especially.

01:57:17.000 Well, brain damage is basically like, think about if you have a fucked up phone.

01:57:22.000 Like, I dropped my phone once and I was in Hawaii and it just started calling people.

01:57:27.000 Really?

01:57:28.000 I was showing my wife.

01:57:29.000 This is crazy.

01:57:29.000 Like, look at this.

01:57:30.000 Like, you hang up, calls another person.

01:57:32.000 Hang up, it was just broken.

01:57:33.000 Whoa.

01:57:34.000 So that's your brain.

01:57:36.000 Right?

01:57:36.000 Right.

01:57:37.000 All the wires are all fucked up, and you got holes in there.

01:57:40.000 Yeah.

01:57:41.000 CTE and chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

01:57:46.000 Yeah.

01:57:46.000 You know, your hormones are all fucked up.

01:57:48.000 Your cortisol is all fucked up.

01:57:50.000 You got to put their head in rice.

01:57:51.000 And you're just like, all of a sudden, you're just running through red lights.

01:57:53.000 You don't even know why you're doing it.

01:57:54.000 Yeah.

01:57:56.000 Probably kind of fun in the middle of it.

01:57:58.000 Probably not.

01:58:00.000 You're probably like, am I in control of my own destiny?

01:58:02.000 I'm not.

01:58:03.000 Oof, man.

01:58:04.000 Yeah, we're lucky we're Sam.

01:58:05.000 I mean, you've taken a lot of blows.

01:58:07.000 Yeah.

01:58:08.000 Mentally and physically.

01:58:08.000 I have the right amount of brain damage.

01:58:12.000 Oh, not worried about things.

01:58:14.000 I don't concern myself about things that I think would cripple a lot of people.

01:58:14.000 That's good.

01:58:18.000 Right.

01:58:19.000 Interesting.

01:58:20.000 I think it makes me a little more fearless.

01:58:23.000 Yeah, it's like autism.

01:58:24.000 If you have just the right amount, you're a genius.

01:58:26.000 A touch of the tism.

01:58:27.000 A touch.

01:58:28.000 Yes.

01:58:28.000 Just a touch.

01:58:29.000 You don't want to be nonverbal, but you want to be really good at math.

01:58:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:58:33.000 It's almost like blind guys who can fucking do other shit.

01:58:36.000 Right.

01:58:37.000 Like they hear better.

01:58:38.000 Yeah.

01:58:39.000 Like echolocation.

01:58:40.000 There you go.

01:58:41.000 I mean, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles.

01:58:41.000 Yeah.

01:58:43.000 Yeah.

01:58:44.000 I think I have just enough brain damage.

01:58:46.000 That's very interesting because you wonder how could you do this for so long and do comedy and do UFC and drink and smoke weed and all run a club.

01:58:57.000 You got a lot of iron and kids and a wife and a fucking dog and you got J-Mo and cars.

01:59:03.000 You got a lot of plates spinning.

01:59:05.000 But I'm still just me because I don't have to ever be anybody but me.

01:59:09.000 But you also do a ton of work on you.

01:59:12.000 You do the fucking cold plunge, the sauna, the working out, the kicking, the fighting, the comedy.

01:59:17.000 That helps.

01:59:18.000 That's, I always tell everybody that's going through anything like difficult in your life, do something more difficult voluntarily, and it makes the difficult thing easy.

01:59:25.000 And so, like, a career in the public eye is very difficult psychologically.

01:59:29.000 Yeah.

01:59:30.000 Like, my workouts are way harder than anything I ever experienced in my regular life.

01:59:30.000 So, do something.

01:59:35.000 And you do it to yourself.

01:59:36.000 Yeah, I do it to myself.

01:59:36.000 That's the key.

01:59:37.000 Yeah.

01:59:37.000 So that when I'm done, like, I can kind of tolerate a lot.

01:59:40.000 Like, if you do jiu-jitsu, like I do jiu-jitsu for, what, 25, 28 years or something like that?

01:59:46.000 Like, just doing that all the time is so hard that the rest of the world seems easy.

01:59:46.000 Yeah.

01:59:52.000 But weren't you beaten as a kid?

01:59:54.000 No, not.

01:59:55.000 I thought you got hit a few times.

01:59:56.000 No, no, no.

01:59:57.000 Or your mom got hit?

01:59:58.000 Okay.

01:59:58.000 Yeah.

01:59:59.000 Not me.

02:00:00.000 That could have scrambled some stuff.

02:00:02.000 It definitely did.

02:00:02.000 Well, it made me more attuned to the potential of domestic violence, which scares the shit out of me.

02:00:07.000 But I got hit a lot.

02:00:10.000 Okay.

02:00:10.000 But in fighting.

02:00:12.000 I mean, I started training when I was 15.

02:00:12.000 Right.

02:00:15.000 Seriously.

02:00:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:00:16.000 So for all my formative years, I was getting my brains punched.

02:00:21.000 Whoa.

02:00:21.000 You know, I was getting kicked.

02:00:23.000 I was getting punched.

02:00:25.000 Have you thought about getting like, that'd be cool to get a real brain scan exam on you?

02:00:28.000 I don't want to know what's in there.

02:00:30.000 Just keep writing it out.

02:00:30.000 All right.

02:00:31.000 I don't want to know.

02:00:32.000 Because it's going well.

02:00:33.000 It's going well.

02:00:34.000 So I leave it alone.

02:00:34.000 Yeah.

02:00:35.000 But I think like you have to have tools for managing stress.

02:00:39.000 And one of the best tools, I think, is voluntary adversity.

02:00:43.000 Where you force yourself because it gives you discipline and you understand that you can control a lot of the way you think and a lot of the way you behave by your actions.

02:00:52.000 And it's also like, I don't want to do it every time.

02:00:52.000 Right.

02:00:54.000 Like today, today I got in the cold plunge and I was, every time I do it, I'm trying to figure out ways that I could talk myself out of doing it.

02:01:01.000 Yes.

02:01:02.000 And then I have one part of my brain that's talking like a bitch, and the other part of my brain is like, shut the fuck up.

02:01:08.000 You're just going to do it.

02:01:09.000 You're not even going to think about it.

02:01:10.000 You're not going to hesitate.

02:01:11.000 You're just going to lift the lid off of that thing.

02:01:13.000 You're going to set the timer.

02:01:14.000 You're going to slide into that 34-degree water and you're just going to fucking sit there.

02:01:18.000 And you're not going to bitch and complain.

02:01:20.000 You're just going to breathe and don't overreact.

02:01:22.000 Just deal with it.

02:01:23.000 And it keeps you in reality.

02:01:24.000 Yes.

02:01:25.000 I'm freezing.

02:01:25.000 This is real.

02:01:26.000 Or you die.

02:01:27.000 You could die.

02:01:27.000 You die.

02:01:28.000 Or you're lifting weights.

02:01:29.000 You're like, this sucks.

02:01:29.000 This sucks.

02:01:30.000 I'm doing it.

02:01:31.000 When you're doing sprints on the air dye machine, it sucks.

02:01:33.000 Well, also, the society, the population is more comfortable than ever.

02:01:37.000 I mean, you got Uber Eats, you got Netflix, you got all these comforts.

02:01:40.000 So they're going the other way.

02:01:42.000 Yeah.

02:01:42.000 And then we're kind of decaying.

02:01:44.000 There's a guy named Michael Easter.

02:01:46.000 He's been on my podcast before.

02:01:47.000 He wrote a book called The Comfort Crisis.

02:01:48.000 Great book.

02:01:49.000 Oh, there you go.

02:01:50.000 He's a professor in UNLV, I think.

02:01:53.000 But he talks about it from a perspective of how to really manage and balance out life.

02:02:02.000 And that comfort is your enemy.

02:02:04.000 It really is.

02:02:05.000 It's 100% your enemy.

02:02:05.000 Yeah.

02:02:07.000 There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

02:02:08.000 Like the desire to constantly be comfortable, it doesn't get you anywhere in life, and it doesn't make you happy.

02:02:14.000 You think you're going to be happy if you're comfortable?

02:02:16.000 You're not.

02:02:17.000 You got to be comfortable sometimes, but you have to earn that comfort.

02:02:17.000 No.

02:02:21.000 Right.

02:02:21.000 I still watch TV.

02:02:22.000 Like I told you, I watched that guy cook fucking an ostrich.

02:02:27.000 He baked an ostrich.

02:02:29.000 That's crazy.

02:02:29.000 Yeah.

02:02:30.000 And I watched the whole thing.

02:02:31.000 I'm sitting there like a moron.

02:02:32.000 Yeah.

02:02:33.000 Because the world's on fire.

02:02:34.000 I'm like, let me watch this guy cook in Azerbaijan and go super.

02:02:37.000 But it's better to watch that than Love is Blind or some horseshit.

02:02:40.000 I can't watch those things.

02:02:41.000 I can't either.

02:02:42.000 I don't like watching people behave badly.

02:02:45.000 I feel myself being dumber.

02:02:47.000 I feel slower after watching.

02:02:49.000 I like watching interesting things about space.

02:02:49.000 Yeah.

02:02:52.000 I was watching something about the James Webb Telescope and what they're finding out now.

02:02:56.000 Yeah.

02:02:56.000 Some new guy that has some theory about how the universe is not expanding.

02:03:02.000 I'm fascinated by really interesting things and just people doing things that they love to do.

02:03:08.000 Well, Jimmy Carr said the key to life is two words.

02:03:11.000 Prioritize later.

02:03:13.000 And that's big.

02:03:14.000 You don't want to exercise, but you do it so you're healthy.

02:03:17.000 Yeah, you know, you don't want to eat healthy or eat right.

02:03:20.000 You want the pizza, you want the Snickers, but you think about later.

02:03:24.000 And I think that's a big one.

02:03:24.000 Right.

02:03:25.000 Right.

02:03:26.000 You want your comedy to do well.

02:03:27.000 You got to write.

02:03:28.000 Sit down in front of that fucking computer or the notebook and just concentrate.

02:03:32.000 And then do those sets that you don't.

02:03:34.000 Some of the best sets that I've ever had are the ones where I'm sitting at home going, Can I get an excuse to not do this?

02:03:38.000 Of course.

02:03:39.000 I would be in my house not wanting to go to the store.

02:03:41.000 Yes, I don't want to do it.

02:03:43.000 And then I would kill.

02:03:44.000 And you're always happy you did it every single time.

02:03:47.000 Every time.

02:03:48.000 I'm a big introvert.

02:03:49.000 So I would always go, I can't go to that party or that thing sounds annoying.

02:03:53.000 But if I go, I'm like, that was great.

02:03:54.000 I agree.

02:03:55.000 It's weird that you're an introvert.

02:03:56.000 Big and so, but you're so good publicly.

02:04:00.000 Well, I mean, we do an art form that's pre-written.

02:04:04.000 So.

02:04:04.000 Yeah.

02:04:05.000 But you're also good like this.

02:04:06.000 But it's me and you.

02:04:07.000 But you're also good in interviews and like Good Morning America.

02:04:10.000 One of those things.

02:04:10.000 Well, I'm fucking around.

02:04:11.000 I'm like, I'm a little people.

02:04:12.000 But you know what I'm saying?

02:04:13.000 Like, you're really good at those.

02:04:14.000 But I can do a one-on-one, but in a group setting, I'm a mess.

02:04:19.000 It's not pretty.

02:04:20.000 And I sit at home and I go, I can't go.

02:04:22.000 What if I say something stupid?

02:04:22.000 I can't.

02:04:24.000 Nobody likes me.

02:04:24.000 I'm annoying.

02:04:26.000 And then everything tells me to stay home, but I just push it.

02:04:29.000 But don't you think it's healthier to have that perspective?

02:04:32.000 Like, oh, people are going to hate me.

02:04:34.000 Then everybody loves me.

02:04:35.000 Of course.

02:04:36.000 Yeah.

02:04:36.000 I don't want to be that guy.

02:04:37.000 That doesn't work.

02:04:38.000 That's like whenever I talk to people, they say I get an imposter syndrome.

02:04:38.000 Right?

02:04:42.000 I go, good.

02:04:42.000 That means you're healthy.

02:04:43.000 Oh.

02:04:44.000 Everybody who's doing really well gets imposter syndrome.

02:04:47.000 Right, right.

02:04:48.000 David Tell thinks he's a hack.

02:04:49.000 He's the funniest guy on the planet.

02:04:50.000 Right?

02:04:51.000 Everybody who's really killing it in life at a certain point in time goes, this doesn't make any sense.

02:04:56.000 Yeah.

02:04:56.000 Why am I even doing well?

02:04:57.000 Why is this so good?

02:04:58.000 Yeah.

02:04:59.000 Yeah.

02:04:59.000 But no, do we are we just blessed in that way that we hate ourselves or are insecure?

02:05:04.000 Or are we do we have to find that out?

02:05:09.000 Well, because I'm jealous of the guy who's cool and collected.

02:05:14.000 Yeah, but they're probably jealous of you because you're talented.

02:05:16.000 I think that the thing about it is it's like if you really believe you're something better than you are, that prevents you from getting better than you could be.

02:05:24.000 I agree.

02:05:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:05:26.000 If you think you're great, you're fixing something and you go, that's good.

02:05:29.000 I did it.

02:05:30.000 And then it falls apart.

02:05:31.000 We all remember that from like the beginnings of our career, like there's guys that thought they killed.

02:05:36.000 And they were terrible.

02:05:36.000 Yes, yes.

02:05:37.000 Yeah.

02:05:38.000 They were bombing.

02:05:38.000 No one was laughing.

02:05:39.000 Right.

02:05:39.000 And you're like, oh, that was a great set.

02:05:41.000 You're like, what did you hear?

02:05:43.000 You see all these 400-pound skanks who are like, I'm a 10.

02:05:46.000 You're like, what are you kidding?

02:05:47.000 You're an ogre.

02:05:48.000 But, you know.

02:05:48.000 Right.

02:05:49.000 But that's that weird, those shows where they sit those ladies down.

02:05:53.000 And I don't like those shows.

02:05:54.000 I don't like those either.

02:05:55.000 They're too mean to the gals.

02:05:57.000 But and like, I'd be called everybody skanks.

02:05:59.000 But I'm not going to just say that to a woman's face or whatever.

02:06:02.000 So those make me uncomfortable.

02:06:04.000 Yeah, even the gals that deserve it.

02:06:06.000 I'm like, oh, God, just don't talk to them.

02:06:09.000 Don't do that to them.

02:06:10.000 No, no, no.

02:06:11.000 But people love it.

02:06:12.000 They love it when people get shut down.

02:06:14.000 They really do.

02:06:15.000 They love it.

02:06:16.000 They love it when a really stupid person with like delusional perspective talks to a genius.

02:06:21.000 Yeah.

02:06:21.000 Just annihilated.

02:06:23.000 I know, but I'd feel icky leaving that studio.

02:06:26.000 Oh, I would.

02:06:27.000 I feel icky watching it.

02:06:28.000 Even like the little clips.

02:06:30.000 I'm like, oh, what are you doing to that poor lady?

02:06:32.000 Some of them deserve it.

02:06:32.000 I know.

02:06:34.000 Sure.

02:06:34.000 Arguably.

02:06:35.000 You know, they have ridiculous perspectives.

02:06:35.000 Yeah.

02:06:39.000 Their vocabulary sucks and they try to use it anyway.

02:06:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:06:43.000 And look, maybe they should be.

02:06:44.000 It's like cops.

02:06:45.000 I see them shutting criminals down and I'm like, thank God they're here because I don't want to do it.

02:06:50.000 I would never want to imagine giving someone a parking ticket.

02:06:52.000 Oh, I'd kill myself.

02:06:54.000 How about pulling someone over and thinking they're going to shoot you?

02:06:56.000 Well, that's a whole nother thing.

02:06:58.000 Yeah.

02:06:58.000 They're all those guys have PTSD.

02:07:01.000 How could you not?

02:07:02.000 I was talking to a friend of mine who worked for the Austin PD, and he said, listen, Matt, and he was in the, he served overseas and was deployed several times.

02:07:09.000 And he said, I saw way more shit working for the police department than I ever saw overseas.

02:07:14.000 Oh, wow.

02:07:15.000 Way more murders, way more crime, way more dead bodies.

02:07:17.000 Oh, way more fucked up behavior.

02:07:19.000 And then we shit on them.

02:07:20.000 We go, defund them.

02:07:21.000 They fuck cops, ACAB or whatever.

02:07:23.000 And I'm like, we need them.

02:07:25.000 We need those guys.

02:07:26.000 More of that stupid virtue signaling because those people remember that lady who was the mayor of Chicago was like all about defund the police.

02:07:34.000 Meanwhile, she had her block shut down.

02:07:36.000 She had armed guards with her everywhere.

02:07:38.000 Right.

02:07:39.000 Come on, lady.

02:07:40.000 Yeah, and I get it.

02:07:41.000 Cops aren't perfect.

02:07:42.000 We got to have different money allotted to certain things or whatever.

02:07:46.000 They need to be trained better for sure.

02:07:48.000 Yeah, but you can't just shit on this guy.

02:07:50.000 He's taking bullets to the head just so we can be safe.

02:07:52.000 It's literally one of the most important jobs in a functioning society is to stop criminals from ruining everything for everybody else.

02:08:00.000 And the only shield between us and them is police officers.

02:08:04.000 If you don't appreciate that, you just don't know.

02:08:08.000 You're either delusional, you're arrogant, whatever it is.

02:08:12.000 You should go on a ride-along.

02:08:14.000 A lot of people that have been on ride-alongs, they go on ride-alongs.

02:08:17.000 I haven't been on one.

02:08:18.000 I should just say that right away, but I know enough cops.

02:08:20.000 I've talked to them.

02:08:21.000 But if you go on a ride-along, you'll go, oh, these guys are dealing with this for decades.

02:08:27.000 Not just one night, not just a couple of nights.

02:08:29.000 Decades of fucking chaos.

02:08:31.000 Why?

02:08:32.000 Worst because it's a good job.

02:08:35.000 You could pay your mortgage.

02:08:36.000 You can raise a family.

02:08:38.000 And you come out of the military.

02:08:40.000 What you're going to do.

02:08:41.000 You get a job in the police force.

02:08:43.000 And you feel good, probably.

02:08:44.000 You go, I'm helping.

02:08:45.000 I'm saving lives.

02:08:47.000 A lot of times you are helping.

02:08:48.000 A lot of times you're stopping bad guys.

02:08:50.000 Well, I've noticed a lot of people who hate cops are very cop-like.

02:08:54.000 These people are like, defund the police.

02:08:56.000 And they're like, don't do that joke.

02:08:57.000 Don't say that word.

02:08:59.000 You're like a cop.

02:09:00.000 Right.

02:09:00.000 You know, it does a lot of that.

02:09:02.000 Like, a lot of people who hate Trump, I noticed, are a lot like Trump.

02:09:05.000 Like, I'm not a Trump guy, but these people are like, they're also kind of a narcissist and an egomaniac.

02:09:10.000 And I'm like, you're like him.

02:09:11.000 Like girls who are promiscuous who talk shit about girls fucking other guys.

02:09:15.000 Right?

02:09:15.000 Right, right.

02:09:16.000 That's always the case.

02:09:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:09:17.000 Always.

02:09:19.000 There's always people like that.

02:09:20.000 I think you hate yourself.

02:09:21.000 Yeah.

02:09:22.000 Kind of.

02:09:22.000 Like, like Jew Palestine.

02:09:24.000 They're not that different.

02:09:24.000 They look the same.

02:09:25.000 I did joke about that.

02:09:26.000 No way.

02:09:27.000 Yeah.

02:09:28.000 I said, when I look at Israel versus Palestine, I go, it's like the Williams sisters playing each other in tennis.

02:09:34.000 I go, who the fuck is who?

02:09:35.000 I go, there's a brown-skinned guy with dark curly hair throwing rocks at a brown-skinned guy with dark curly hair holding the machine gun.

02:09:42.000 Exactly.

02:09:43.000 What the fuck?

02:09:44.000 I have a similar bit about how the people who hate each other the most, they look alike.

02:09:48.000 Like Ireland's been fighting.

02:09:49.000 North Korea, South Korea.

02:09:51.000 Runs in the Crips.

02:09:52.000 North Korea to South Korea is the best example.

02:09:54.000 It goes on for days.

02:09:55.000 Yeah, they hate each other.

02:09:56.000 You're literally in the same patch of dirt.

02:09:57.000 Russian literature.

02:09:58.000 You look exactly the same.

02:09:59.000 You look the same.

02:10:00.000 You look the same.

02:10:01.000 Women.

02:10:01.000 I know.

02:10:02.000 They hate each other.

02:10:02.000 Yeah.

02:10:04.000 A lot of them do.

02:10:05.000 Competition, though.

02:10:06.000 That's primal shit.

02:10:06.000 I know.

02:10:07.000 They all want prime dick.

02:10:09.000 They all get mad.

02:10:09.000 Yeah.

02:10:10.000 Someone's getting the prime dick.

02:10:12.000 Hot girl walks into a party.

02:10:13.000 My wife hates her.

02:10:14.000 Really?

02:10:14.000 She's like, fuck this bitch.

02:10:15.000 I'm like, she's nice.

02:10:16.000 She gives to the poor.

02:10:17.000 And she's like, I hate her.

02:10:17.000 She's charitable.

02:10:18.000 One of my wife's friends got super upset because someone showed up at her wedding.

02:10:23.000 It was a date.

02:10:24.000 This guy brought a date, and the date was super hot, and she had her tits out.

02:10:27.000 And this lady was furious.

02:10:30.000 Yeah, it goes, it's innate.

02:10:33.000 She just overdid it.

02:10:35.000 Right, right.

02:10:36.000 Exactly.

02:10:36.000 Listen, that lady could show up with a fucking job of the hut outfit on.

02:10:41.000 You would hate her.

02:10:41.000 Yeah.

02:10:42.000 She's hot.

02:10:43.000 She's hot.

02:10:44.000 She could have a cloak.

02:10:45.000 She could be dressed like a monk.

02:10:46.000 You'd hate her.

02:10:46.000 She's beautiful.

02:10:47.000 In college, I lived with a guy who was 6'9.

02:10:49.000 He's just like this big, beefy, Midwestern football player guy.

02:10:52.000 And every bar we go to, guys would try to fight him.

02:10:56.000 Of course.

02:10:57.000 He was like a Birkenstock wearing kind of weed-smoking guy.

02:11:00.000 And every guy's like, you got a problem?

02:11:03.000 You think you're hot shit?

02:11:03.000 You think you're tough?

02:11:04.000 You think you're better than me?

02:11:05.000 And he's like, dude, I'm just sitting here drinking.

02:11:06.000 And he would have to fight these guys.

02:11:08.000 Bro, I've seen that happen with MMA fighters.

02:11:10.000 Really?

02:11:10.000 People won't try to pick fights with MMA fighters.

02:11:12.000 They get drunk and they're retarded and they just think, oh, fuck this guy up.

02:11:16.000 Yes.

02:11:17.000 That's crazy.

02:11:18.000 Stupid.

02:11:18.000 There's a lot of morons in this world.

02:11:20.000 It's too easy to survive.

02:11:22.000 It's too easy to be a moron.

02:11:23.000 We need wolves in the streets.

02:11:25.000 We need predators everywhere.

02:11:26.000 We need a real fear of the consequences of your actions.

02:11:31.000 Yeah, that's why animals stay in line.

02:11:33.000 Exactly.

02:11:34.000 You know, we talk all this shit about animals, but they're like, they're keeping it there.

02:11:37.000 They got gender roles.

02:11:39.000 They're doing all the shit we're not supposed to do.

02:11:40.000 Not a lot of non-binary wolves.

02:11:43.000 Yeah.

02:11:44.000 The male penguin gets the fish.

02:11:44.000 They don't make it.

02:11:46.000 The female watches the eggs.

02:11:48.000 If he was like, I want to be a graphic designer, fuck this shit.

02:11:50.000 Like, it would collapse.

02:11:52.000 Exactly.

02:11:53.000 It would all fall apart.

02:11:54.000 Yeah.

02:11:54.000 The idea of gender roles.

02:11:56.000 Like, you know, I had this lady on who was explaining the roots of feminism.

02:12:02.000 It was the strangest conversation because she was talking about how all these people that started radical feminism were all completely fucked up.

02:12:12.000 They were all out of their fucking minds.

02:12:15.000 They're all like having all these affairs, not raising their kids, like completely self-obsessed.

02:12:21.000 Right.

02:12:21.000 And they're the ones who tricked all these women into being girl bosses.

02:12:24.000 Oh, wow.

02:12:26.000 Anytime someone is too outlandish about something, there's always a trigger for that.

02:12:31.000 There's always a reason.

02:12:33.000 No matter what it is.

02:12:34.000 I'm going to take down these pedophiles.

02:12:34.000 Yeah.

02:12:36.000 And you're like, what's in your basement?

02:12:37.000 Right.

02:12:38.000 You know?

02:12:39.000 I mean, I'm against pedophiles.

02:12:40.000 Well, have you seen like when they did this when Pizzagate was happening?

02:12:45.000 It was all these people that debunked Pizzagate.

02:12:47.000 Four of the journalists that debunked Pizzagate got arrested for either child sex crimes or child porn.

02:12:54.000 Wow.

02:12:55.000 There you go.

02:12:56.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:12:57.000 Guys are like, this is an unfounded conspiracy theory.

02:13:00.000 This is all bullshit.

02:13:01.000 Right.

02:13:02.000 They were pervs.

02:13:03.000 It's like the same with Bill Cosby.

02:13:05.000 Why is he so gung-ho about you pulling your pants off, speaking right, don't curse?

02:13:09.000 There's something behind it.

02:13:10.000 There's always something behind it.

02:13:11.000 Yes.

02:13:12.000 He's the best example, right?

02:13:14.000 Ellen.

02:13:14.000 Yeah.

02:13:15.000 Ellen is up there.

02:13:16.000 Be kind.

02:13:16.000 I'm dancing.

02:13:17.000 And then she's the coups of the year.

02:13:19.000 Yeah.

02:13:20.000 Well, I knew about that a long time ago because Fitzsimmons worked for her.

02:13:23.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:13:24.000 He told everybody.

02:13:24.000 Oh, he told everybody.

02:13:26.000 He told me like fucking decades ago.

02:13:28.000 He's like, she's such a cunt.

02:13:30.000 I was like, really?

02:13:30.000 Yeah.

02:13:31.000 Ellen?

02:13:32.000 I was shocked.

02:13:33.000 I, me too.

02:13:34.000 He's like, she seems so sweet.

02:13:35.000 She seems so nice.

02:13:36.000 He's like, dude, she's fucking horrible to her staff.

02:13:39.000 She's horrible to everybody.

02:13:40.000 I'm like, wow.

02:13:41.000 Wow.

02:13:42.000 There you go.

02:13:43.000 Everybody loved her.

02:13:44.000 During the pandemic, when everybody was bored before it all came out.

02:13:47.000 So I was like, hey, let me tell you something about that lady.

02:13:50.000 But one interesting takeaway is the fact that she was kind of canceled for being gay in the 90s.

02:13:56.000 And she came out of it and became a star.

02:13:59.000 And then she got canceled for being mean.

02:14:00.000 That's progress.

02:14:03.000 Yeah, but people celebrated her because she got canceled for being gay.

02:14:06.000 They canceled her show.

02:14:07.000 Isn't that nuts?

02:14:08.000 Like, you could get a show on the air now if you were playing a gay character.

02:14:12.000 Right.

02:14:13.000 They'd be like, ooh, diversity.

02:14:14.000 Yes.

02:14:15.000 This is like going to get green lit.

02:14:16.000 Yeah.

02:14:17.000 Well, it's funny how that gay used to be the ultimate insult when I was in high school.

02:14:21.000 And now I got friends like, tell them I'm by.

02:14:23.000 I'm trying to fit in.

02:14:24.000 So it went from an insult to like a cool thing.

02:14:27.000 I'm pansexual.

02:14:28.000 That's my favorite.

02:14:29.000 I'll fuck everybody.

02:14:29.000 Yes.

02:14:31.000 That's what it is.

02:14:32.000 I'm attracted to everybody.

02:14:33.000 Like, that's nuts.

02:14:34.000 But in 20 years, they're going to be like, tell them I'm a child molester.

02:14:36.000 I'm trying to fit in.

02:14:37.000 Like, where does it end?

02:14:38.000 Well, there are academics that are trying to say that these are minor attracted persons.

02:14:44.000 I've heard of maps.

02:14:46.000 That's bananas.

02:14:47.000 Insane.

02:14:48.000 Why are we talking?

02:14:49.000 Why isn't that a big story?

02:14:50.000 Gad Sad calls it suicidal empathy.

02:14:53.000 You get to a point where you're trying to justify everything and empathize with everything to the point where you make horrific actions and terrible crimes justifiable.

02:15:04.000 Well, doesn't it kind of horseshoe?

02:15:05.000 You know, like you see like an alt-right guy will draw a swastika on a synagogue and you're like, all right, that guy's a piece of shit.

02:15:11.000 But then a liberal guy will do it on a cyber truck.

02:15:13.000 Exactly.

02:15:14.000 And you're like, what?

02:15:14.000 You guys just met in the middle somehow.

02:15:16.000 Exactly.

02:15:17.000 Crazy.

02:15:17.000 You're putting cyber truck swastikas on cybertrucks because you think Elon Musk is a Nazi.

02:15:22.000 Because he said, my heart goes out to you while he's trying to stop fraud and waste.

02:15:26.000 And they're using the whole political machine to paint this guy as a Nazi.

02:15:30.000 You're buying into it to Virtue Signal.

02:15:32.000 And so to show that you're buying into it, you're keying Teslas.

02:15:36.000 But when you look at the steps of it, it's fascinating.

02:15:39.000 Well, it's the same.

02:15:40.000 It's the same thing we were talking about earlier.

02:15:42.000 Like the religious right is the same thing as the religious left and Islamists.

02:15:47.000 It's the same thing.

02:15:48.000 This is like patterns of human behavior.

02:15:50.000 Yeah.

02:15:50.000 Where you want to point at other people and not look at yourself.

02:15:53.000 And you want to think that your radical beliefs are fine.

02:15:56.000 Everybody else's radical beliefs are wrong.

02:15:56.000 Right.

02:15:58.000 But we've gotten there with politics.

02:16:00.000 And that's what's scary because people aren't, there's not even two parties anymore.

02:16:03.000 There's two algorithms.

02:16:04.000 Everybody's just seeing two totally different realities.

02:16:06.000 Like these Iranian soccer player ladies who are too scared to go home.

02:16:06.000 Yes.

02:16:11.000 And you're like, where's Rapano?

02:16:12.000 Right.

02:16:13.000 Where's that Lesbo that loudmouth?

02:16:16.000 She's a justice warrior.

02:16:18.000 This is, do some justice.

02:16:19.000 Right.

02:16:20.000 These people, they're fucking family back homes being kidnapped.

02:16:23.000 These people are in like real danger.

02:16:23.000 Yeah.

02:16:25.000 Yes.

02:16:26.000 And they're no one supporting them.

02:16:27.000 Incredibly brave to do that, to show the hair, whatever they do, and they're scared to go home.

02:16:31.000 And then their family members get tortured because they won't come back.

02:16:34.000 It's fucking horrible.

02:16:36.000 Exactly.

02:16:36.000 I think those people sought refuge in Australia now.

02:16:39.000 That's what they are.

02:16:39.000 That's right.

02:16:40.000 That's right.

02:16:41.000 I mean, their whole life has been ruined.

02:16:42.000 They're fucked.

02:16:43.000 And no support from the left.

02:16:44.000 Yeah, give a tweet.

02:16:45.000 Zero.

02:16:45.000 Something.

02:16:46.000 Hashtag.

02:16:46.000 It's crazy.

02:16:48.000 Like, how do they pick certain things to support and other things they just blatantly ignore?

02:16:53.000 It's fucking fascinating.

02:16:55.000 And it's so contradictory.

02:16:57.000 You know, the right will be like, abortion's bad, but then they'll have an abortion.

02:17:00.000 Right.

02:17:01.000 Behind the behind the curtain.

02:17:03.000 Yeah.

02:17:04.000 Or like the left get horribly mad at like the George Floyd violence.

02:17:09.000 How did they do that to him?

02:17:09.000 Right.

02:17:10.000 But then that lady in Charlotte gets stabbed on a train.

02:17:13.000 Not a peep.

02:17:14.000 Not a peep.

02:17:14.000 Oh, yeah.

02:17:15.000 Not a peep.

02:17:15.000 He got some guy that's getting released from jail like fucking 40 times.

02:17:18.000 He's a violent offender over and over again.

02:17:20.000 Stab some random lady who survived the Ukraine war.

02:17:24.000 She was a refugee from Ukraine.

02:17:26.000 And not a bad looker.

02:17:27.000 Hot.

02:17:28.000 Very hot.

02:17:28.000 That's the problem.

02:17:29.000 Nobody feels sympathetic for a hot lady.

02:17:31.000 She got it too easy.

02:17:32.000 Well, that's crap.

02:17:33.000 People are people.

02:17:34.000 Nuts.

02:17:35.000 Damn.

02:17:36.000 Nuts.

02:17:36.000 And then I feel like some of this we're saying is controversial.

02:17:40.000 But how is this controversial?

02:17:41.000 We're just saying what is.

02:17:42.000 In a world gone crazy, speaking sane is controversial.

02:17:46.000 That's why it feels so fucking good when shit comes back to real.

02:17:48.000 Like when we had to call fat people beautiful.

02:17:52.000 And then they're all on Ozempic.

02:17:53.000 And they're all Ozempic.

02:17:54.000 Like, what are we doing here?

02:17:56.000 So now it's okay to go, all right, I like being thin.

02:17:58.000 I want to be hot.

02:17:59.000 I know.

02:18:00.000 But they never go, I was lying.

02:18:02.000 I lied a bunch.

02:18:03.000 I was a fat piece of shit and I hated it.

02:18:03.000 I know.

02:18:05.000 Lizzo's losing weight.

02:18:07.000 She was the fat champion.

02:18:08.000 I know.

02:18:09.000 She's lost a lot of weight.

02:18:10.000 She looks good now.

02:18:11.000 She looks great, but I like fat Lizzo.

02:18:12.000 And she's probably a lot healthier.

02:18:13.000 It's like better.

02:18:15.000 Of course.

02:18:16.000 Yeah.

02:18:16.000 I mean, it's very strange.

02:18:17.000 People are mad at Jelly Roll for losing weight.

02:18:20.000 Well, his name's Jelly Roll.

02:18:22.000 You know, he fucked up.

02:18:23.000 Well, now he's a jelly churro.

02:18:29.000 He's lost 300 fucking pounds with pure discipline.

02:18:32.000 Is that?

02:18:33.000 Yeah, Noah's Empic.

02:18:33.000 Come on.

02:18:35.000 Noah's Empic.

02:18:35.000 Really?

02:18:36.000 What's he doing?

02:18:37.000 He does testosterone replacement and exercise.

02:18:40.000 That's it.

02:18:40.000 And changed his diet.

02:18:42.000 Eliminated sugar, eliminated everything from his diet.

02:18:45.000 Because he was a big boy.

02:18:46.000 He was 500 pounds.

02:18:47.000 Wow.

02:18:48.000 Yeah.

02:18:48.000 He lost 300.

02:18:49.000 He's in the twos now.

02:18:51.000 And then 35 pounds of it is extra skin.

02:18:54.000 Ooh.

02:18:55.000 He's got crazy extra skin.

02:18:56.000 He worked out with me in here.

02:18:58.000 He had ran six miles the day before, came into the studio before the podcast we did.

02:19:02.000 He ran two and a half miles on the treadmill.

02:19:05.000 Wow.

02:19:05.000 I watched him.

02:19:06.000 I mean, talking, like in great shape.

02:19:08.000 He's talking while he's running, laughing, joking around.

02:19:10.000 Hey, good for him.

02:19:11.000 Super nice to everybody.

02:19:13.000 Nice.

02:19:13.000 He's the sweet, the sweetest fucking guy you ever want to meet.

02:19:16.000 He's a very nice guy to everybody, man.

02:19:19.000 Everybody, he's hugging everybody.

02:19:21.000 He's like a sweet, kind guy, and he's on the right path.

02:19:25.000 And he's lost 300 fucking pounds.

02:19:28.000 Good for him.

02:19:28.000 Wow.

02:19:29.000 Yeah.

02:19:30.000 He's got to change the name.

02:19:32.000 No.

02:19:32.000 You can't be jelly rolling than thin.

02:19:34.000 Just call him Jelly.

02:19:36.000 I call him Jelly anyway.

02:19:37.000 Not even that.

02:19:38.000 What is his real name?

02:19:39.000 I've known that guy for fucking seven years.

02:19:41.000 I don't even know his real name.

02:19:42.000 Jason.

02:19:43.000 You're Jason now.

02:19:44.000 I'm sorry.

02:19:45.000 No, I haven't known him for seven years.

02:19:46.000 I met him at my club.

02:19:47.000 So I've known him for three years.

02:19:49.000 All right.

02:19:49.000 Jason.

02:19:50.000 I didn't know that.

02:19:51.000 I would have guessed like Brian.

02:19:53.000 Yeah.

02:19:54.000 Who knows?

02:19:54.000 Yeah.

02:19:55.000 Who knows?

02:19:56.000 It's cool that he's got a fake name, though.

02:19:57.000 That's a good move.

02:19:58.000 Yeah, it's a black guy move.

02:19:59.000 Yeah.

02:19:59.000 Well, vanilla ice.

02:20:01.000 A black guy move.

02:20:03.000 You know, Earthquake.

02:20:04.000 They all have cool names.

02:20:05.000 Lil Wayne.

02:20:06.000 You got to have a cool name here, black guy.

02:20:08.000 Right.

02:20:08.000 Very few comics have done that.

02:20:09.000 Earthquake's one of the few.

02:20:10.000 You know, we had Hamburger for the cable guy.

02:20:13.000 There you go.

02:20:14.000 There's a white guy doing it.

02:20:14.000 Yeah.

02:20:15.000 Dice Clay.

02:20:16.000 Yes.

02:20:17.000 That's a fake name.

02:20:18.000 Right.

02:20:19.000 So a couple guys did it.

02:20:20.000 Yeah, Dice Clay is just dice.

02:20:22.000 I just call him Dice.

02:20:23.000 He just kind of turned into dice.

02:20:25.000 He just is dice now.

02:20:26.000 Well, most people don't know that he was Andrew Silverstein.

02:20:29.000 And the Dice Man was one of many characters that he did on stage.

02:20:29.000 Yes.

02:20:33.000 Travolta, Jerry Lewis.

02:20:34.000 He did a bunch of guys.

02:20:35.000 Oh, he's got great impressions.

02:20:37.000 He's a talented guy.

02:20:37.000 He's a talent.

02:20:38.000 He's not just a talented guy.

02:20:40.000 That guy is a legitimate performance artist.

02:20:43.000 He does performance art on the street for fun for no money.

02:20:47.000 And he's literally mocking the fact that he's not famous.

02:20:51.000 That's comedy.

02:20:51.000 Yes.

02:20:52.000 The most ego-free version of that shit.

02:20:56.000 I opened for him once, and I was kind of nervous.

02:20:58.000 He's, you know, he's a legend.

02:20:59.000 And I went up to him.

02:21:00.000 I was like, hello, Mr. Dice.

02:21:01.000 Just letting you know I'm your opener.

02:21:02.000 He goes, you want a picture?

02:21:04.000 I'm like, no, I'm just letting you know, your opener, how much time you want me to do.

02:21:06.000 He goes, you want a picture.

02:21:08.000 And I'm like, I don't need to do the picture.

02:21:10.000 Just how much time do you want me to do?

02:21:11.000 He goes, get over here.

02:21:12.000 And he gets me the headlock and takes a picture.

02:21:14.000 And I never, I just didn't know how much time to do.

02:21:16.000 But he was fucking with me.

02:21:18.000 He gave me great advice in the 90s.

02:21:21.000 I was doing news radio and I was just doing the store and the laugh factory and the improv.

02:21:26.000 He's like, you should do the road.

02:21:28.000 And I said, really?

02:21:29.000 I go, why?

02:21:30.000 He goes, you don't want to be relying on these fucking jerk-offs to make your living.

02:21:34.000 He goes, you're a funny comic.

02:21:36.000 He goes, you could be headlining all over the country making a good living.

02:21:39.000 You don't need these fucking people.

02:21:41.000 That's really nice.

02:21:42.000 It was the smartest thing that anybody ever taught me.

02:21:44.000 You got to do the road.

02:21:45.000 I had to do the road because I was, you know, I was doing like 15-minute sets.

02:21:48.000 And then, you know, I never was really headlining for like a few years.

02:21:52.000 Yeah.

02:21:53.000 And I did back when I lived in New York.

02:21:55.000 And then all of a sudden, I was like, you know, he's right.

02:21:57.000 And then I started really putting together an hour, like a solid hour on the road, and it got way better.

02:22:02.000 Yeah.

02:22:03.000 My act got way better.

02:22:04.000 And then I realized like if a show gets canceled, I can still make a living.

02:22:10.000 Right.

02:22:10.000 You know, like, whereas everybody who just works in those poor comics that stop doing the road and then become writers, that's even worse than being an actor because nobody knows who you are.

02:22:21.000 And you're completely reliant on the scene to feed you.

02:22:21.000 Right.

02:22:26.000 And then you have a mortgage.

02:22:27.000 Maybe you have a family.

02:22:27.000 Right.

02:22:28.000 You have a wife and kids.

02:22:29.000 I know.

02:22:29.000 Maybe you have college you have to pay for.

02:22:31.000 Those writers' rooms are cushy, though.

02:22:33.000 You get air conditioning, you get snacks, and you get health care, you get a paycheck, and you go into an office every day.

02:22:38.000 But you're writing the funny stuff that that other person says.

02:22:41.000 True.

02:22:41.000 And in the back of your head, you know, like the reason why it's funny is because of my mind.

02:22:45.000 Yeah.

02:22:45.000 And no one knows who I am.

02:22:47.000 It's a velvet prison.

02:22:47.000 I know.

02:22:49.000 And then you see these 65-year-old comics back on the funny bone train because they got to make money.

02:22:54.000 And no one knows who they are.

02:22:55.000 And they can't sell a ticket.

02:22:56.000 They can't sell a ticket.

02:22:57.000 That is a bummer.

02:22:58.000 It's a bummer.

02:22:59.000 Yeah.

02:22:59.000 And all these guys that missed the podcast train, too.

02:23:02.000 Ooh.

02:23:03.000 A lot of those guys, like, they've kind of abandoned the bitterness, but years ago, guys, were really bitter.

02:23:08.000 I remember that.

02:23:09.000 Are you a comic or you're a podcaster?

02:23:12.000 Well, I can't do both.

02:23:13.000 What am I doing all day?

02:23:14.000 Yeah, it's a cheat code.

02:23:15.000 People get to know you.

02:23:16.000 They listen to you every day or every week.

02:23:18.000 And then you get to go to their town.

02:23:19.000 Yeah.

02:23:20.000 And in conversation with people, you come up with ideas.

02:23:23.000 That's true.

02:23:24.000 That's a big one.

02:23:25.000 That's true.

02:23:26.000 Yeah.

02:23:26.000 I mean, I think this podcast saved the store.

02:23:29.000 Oh, yeah, 100%.

02:23:31.000 I was a part of it.

02:23:32.000 I know for a fact it did.

02:23:33.000 It changed everything.

02:23:34.000 You had all those guys.

02:23:35.000 Santino, Theo, all those pressure.

02:23:38.000 100%.

02:23:39.000 Changed the store.

02:23:40.000 And it changed everybody's attitude towards each other because instead of being competition, like we're all struggling to try to get this one spot on a sitcom or this one host of a show, instead, we're all like an asset to each other because we're guests on each other's show.

02:23:55.000 Hey, could you help me promote my Netflix special?

02:23:57.000 Yeah, come on.

02:23:58.000 And everybody's an asset.

02:24:00.000 Everybody helps everybody.

02:24:01.000 They help, yeah.

02:24:01.000 You're a guest on theirs.

02:24:02.000 They're a guest on yours.

02:24:03.000 And it's so low maintenance.

02:24:06.000 You just set it up in a hotel room.

02:24:08.000 Put an ass.

02:24:09.000 And people love it because they love real conversations.

02:24:12.000 And it's hard to get those in this weird world where everybody's communicating on social media.

02:24:16.000 Well, it makes you think that maybe that's why actors have to play ball because they don't have this thing to rely on.

02:24:22.000 So they got to play the game and bullshit each other.

02:24:26.000 The sane ones that I talk to, they talk about the deep pain that it gives them having to fucking acquiesce to these people.

02:24:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:24:33.000 Well, I just did, you know, I'm doing this crazy press tour with the special.

02:24:36.000 I just did a late night show, and it was fun.

02:24:38.000 You do the couch, you put makeup on, you put on a nice jacket, and you yuck it up for the live audience, but you're just sitting there going, that guy's got a headset and a clipboard.

02:24:47.000 What is she doing over there?

02:24:48.000 He's like a page.

02:24:49.000 He's an intern.

02:24:50.000 It's so much wasted money.

02:24:53.000 So much wasted money.

02:24:54.000 And you're like, no wonder these are kind of going away.

02:24:56.000 It's unnecessary.

02:24:57.000 Well, that was the thing about the complaint about the Colbert show being canceled.

02:25:01.000 They're like, you're censoring, you're censoring speech, but Colbert Show is losing CBS $40 to $50 million a year.

02:25:10.000 Jesus.

02:25:11.000 That's wild.

02:25:13.000 Well, who watches it?

02:25:14.000 I mean, no offense to these guys.

02:25:16.000 They're all super talented, whatever, but it's like...

02:25:18.000 The idea that they're supposed to keep that thing on the air while they're hemorrhaging money from it is crazy.

02:25:22.000 And the guest is just like a crapshoot.

02:25:24.000 Who are we getting today?

02:25:25.000 Snooky?

02:25:26.000 Oh, great.

02:25:26.000 I'm not going to watch that.

02:25:28.000 I couldn't think of anybody relevant, but, you know, they got to sit and talk to Snookie.

02:25:32.000 You got a book out, huh?

02:25:34.000 Who's going to watch that?

02:25:35.000 That was Bill Hicks' old joke about Jay Leno killing himself.

02:25:38.000 Do you remember that joke?

02:25:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:25:39.000 He's sitting down next to Joey Lawrence.

02:25:41.000 Hey, you got a girlfriend?

02:25:42.000 Exactly.

02:25:43.000 And he sticks an Uzi in his mouth and it blows out his brains.

02:25:46.000 They form an NBC peacock because he's a company man to the bitter end.

02:25:50.000 Well, that's why Conan, he saw the writing on the wall and he said, I'm starting a pod.

02:25:54.000 Well, he also left and did the TBS show, which was like way less pressure.

02:25:54.000 Yeah.

02:25:58.000 You know, that was a good move because he still got to do his own show and people watch it that are fans.

02:26:04.000 It still kept an audience, but he still stayed himself.

02:26:08.000 Yeah, yeah, that's true.

02:26:09.000 He's a smart guy and he's very super funny.

02:26:09.000 He's a smart guy.

02:26:12.000 Very funny guy.

02:26:13.000 He helped me a lot in the early days, too.

02:26:15.000 Yeah, I was on his show way, way back in the day.

02:26:18.000 A friend of mine was a writer on his show in the very beginning.

02:26:21.000 And when I went to the filming, their banter was all planned out.

02:26:28.000 They had these big postboards with all the dialogue.

02:26:33.000 And someone would be standing behind, what was the other guy's name?

02:26:36.000 Richter?

02:26:37.000 Yeah, Andy Richter.

02:26:38.000 Someone would be standing behind Andy Richter, and someone would be standing behind Conan.

02:26:42.000 And so they would read the things that they were going to say.

02:26:44.000 It was all scripted out.

02:26:46.000 I was like, oh, this is crazy.

02:26:47.000 That's funny because when I did this late night show, they call you at like 10 in the morning, like, what do you want to talk about?

02:26:51.000 It's, what do you call those guys?

02:26:53.000 Like the producer guy who gives you the, and he's like, what about this?

02:26:57.000 I'm like, nobody cares about that.

02:26:58.000 He's like, well, talk about your writing process and how you got in a standup.

02:27:00.000 I'm like, that's just hack shit that's been done to death.

02:27:03.000 Exactly.

02:27:04.000 Let me riff.

02:27:05.000 Let me riff.

02:27:05.000 I'm a comic.

02:27:06.000 Yeah.

02:27:06.000 Well, I did the Bomb and Tom show once.

02:27:08.000 Oh.

02:27:09.000 They tried to do that to me.

02:27:10.000 The producer got upset at me.

02:27:12.000 Bob and Tom were great.

02:27:13.000 But The producers were upset with me.

02:27:18.000 He's like, visibly upset.

02:27:19.000 He goes, well, what are you going to bring up?

02:27:21.000 And I go, I don't know.

02:27:21.000 Yeah.

02:27:22.000 He's like, you don't know.

02:27:24.000 I go, we're going to have fun.

02:27:25.000 Don't worry about it.

02:27:26.000 I've done this a fucking million times.

02:27:26.000 Yeah.

02:27:27.000 Exactly.

02:27:28.000 Just go in there and have a good time.

02:27:29.000 Don't worry about it.

02:27:30.000 I was so green that they made me write on Loose Leaf setups.

02:27:30.000 I did it one.

02:27:34.000 And I wrote like eight setups.

02:27:35.000 So then he'd be like, so I hear you have a dog.

02:27:37.000 And I'm like, yeah, I do my dog bit.

02:27:38.000 Oh, it's horrible.

02:27:40.000 It was like school.

02:27:40.000 I know.

02:27:42.000 That used to be all morning radio, guys doing their act on the radio.

02:27:46.000 It was terrible.

02:27:47.000 Terrible.

02:27:48.000 Fake.

02:27:48.000 Terrible.

02:27:49.000 You know what changed that?

02:27:50.000 Opie and Anthony.

02:27:52.000 Oh, yeah.

02:27:53.000 Opie and Anthony was the beginning of podcasts.

02:27:56.000 Not Stern?

02:27:57.000 No.

02:27:57.000 Stern was the beginning of free speech.

02:27:59.000 Stern was the beginning of like being wild on the radio.

02:28:02.000 He's the GOAT.

02:28:04.000 Like if it wasn't for him, none of this, we would have no podcasts.

02:28:07.000 Well, I don't know if we wouldn't have a podcast, but the evolution of it would have been stalled radically.

02:28:11.000 Yeah.

02:28:12.000 He was the guy that stuck his neck out.

02:28:14.000 He was the guy that got fined.

02:28:16.000 Like during the Bush administration, people forget about that.

02:28:18.000 They were going after him for indecency.

02:28:21.000 Oh, yeah.

02:28:22.000 Not blasphemy, but obscenity.

02:28:25.000 They were fining the fucking stations and shit, insane amounts of money.

02:28:29.000 Right.

02:28:29.000 But he was so big that he stayed alive and survived that.

02:28:33.000 But then Opie and Anthony came along and it was totally different.

02:28:37.000 It was just wild and loose.

02:28:39.000 And it was just Norton and Voss and Patrice and Louis Queen and Louie and all of us and Ari and we would all go in and I loved going there.

02:28:49.000 Yeah.

02:28:49.000 I loved going.

02:28:50.000 And then when Anthony started doing live from the compound, so he had this sick house in Long Island.

02:28:56.000 They made a ton of money.

02:28:57.000 Oh, yeah.

02:28:58.000 And he had this sick house in Long Island.

02:29:00.000 He built his own studio in his basement so he could live stream.

02:29:03.000 Oh, wow.

02:29:04.000 And he had like Guinness on tap and he had like real professional microphones and cameras.

02:29:10.000 It was nuts.

02:29:11.000 Freedom.

02:29:11.000 And I was like, wow, that's it.

02:29:13.000 Like, and they were trying to get him to stop doing it.

02:29:15.000 Really?

02:29:16.000 They were saying, yeah, this is violating your content.

02:29:17.000 He goes, I'm not making any money off of this.

02:29:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:29:19.000 He's just doing it.

02:29:20.000 Love of the game.

02:29:21.000 And they were upset that he was doing this on the internet.

02:29:24.000 Wow.

02:29:25.000 Yeah.

02:29:26.000 And so he and then Tom Green.

02:29:28.000 Tom Green was fake.

02:29:29.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:29.000 That was a big one.

02:29:30.000 When he did his internet show.

02:29:31.000 Yeah.

02:29:32.000 But it was just totally loose.

02:29:33.000 Like, there was no asking you what you wanted to talk about when you were sitting on the couch.

02:29:37.000 Just came in and hung out.

02:29:38.000 And Tom Green's a funny guy and he's smart and loose and we're having a good time.

02:29:38.000 Yeah.

02:29:42.000 And I was like, this is it.

02:29:44.000 This is the future.

02:29:46.000 He was weird, innovative.

02:29:47.000 He got ball surgery on air.

02:29:49.000 Remember that?

02:29:50.000 He had ball cancer and he did the surgery on the show.

02:29:53.000 Did he really?

02:29:54.000 Yeah.

02:29:54.000 He was ahead of the game.

02:29:55.000 But these TV shows are so weird because they want comics on, but they don't want you to be a comic.

02:30:00.000 These morning shows are like, oh, what's up, funny man?

02:30:00.000 Right.

02:30:02.000 And you're like, well, I had a toll.

02:30:04.000 And they're like, cut it, cut it.

02:30:05.000 You know, like, I'm just being me.

02:30:06.000 They're just scared.

02:30:07.000 You had me off.

02:30:08.000 They get scared.

02:30:09.000 You know, they get scared of losing their job.

02:30:11.000 I mean, those people are really scared because they don't nothing.

02:30:14.000 All they have is like, hey, good morning.

02:30:17.000 Right.

02:30:17.000 It's five past the hour.

02:30:19.000 You know, here's Tom with weather.

02:30:21.000 It's like a bullshit fake gig.

02:30:22.000 So anything can take it away from them.

02:30:24.000 So all the stuff that they rely on, their fucking membership at the country club, all that stuff could go away at any moment.

02:30:32.000 So they live terrified.

02:30:33.000 That's a prison.

02:30:34.000 I know.

02:30:34.000 You might as well be a weatherman.

02:30:36.000 Yeah.

02:30:36.000 And even the weatherman, same thing.

02:30:38.000 Yeah, that's a good gig, though.

02:30:40.000 I guess.

02:30:40.000 I mean, you just eight minutes to go, yeah, the Doppler, huh?

02:30:43.000 You do some hand movements, and then you're done.

02:30:45.000 Yeah.

02:30:46.000 It's just, you live in hell.

02:30:48.000 We're lucky as fuck.

02:30:49.000 We're very lucky, and I'm very grateful.

02:30:50.000 We're lucky as fuck.

02:30:51.000 But this, this platform, like the podcast platform that we all enjoy, that we all do, wouldn't have existed without Opie and Anthony.

02:30:59.000 Opi and Anthony was the first time where comics got together and it was completely loose.

02:31:04.000 It was just, there was no figuring out like what we're going to say.

02:31:04.000 Yeah.

02:31:09.000 Everybody was just riffing.

02:31:10.000 They're all shitting on each other.

02:31:12.000 And then when it went to XM, it was amazing.

02:31:15.000 Because then you could swear.

02:31:15.000 Yeah.

02:31:16.000 Right, right.

02:31:17.000 Oh, my God.

02:31:18.000 If you'd be crazy.

02:31:19.000 If you've never heard it, go on YouTube and watch it.

02:31:21.000 There's some fucking comedy gold on there.

02:31:24.000 Especially the Patrice episodes.

02:31:24.000 Gold.

02:31:26.000 He was so good.

02:31:26.000 Yes.

02:31:26.000 Oh, my God.

02:31:27.000 That's where he really shined.

02:31:28.000 You know, him and Louie together talking about black versus Mexican.

02:31:32.000 It was amazing.

02:31:33.000 And they do one episode where they talk about where the N-word came from.

02:31:36.000 And Louie goes, well, I think it was just a bunch of guys being N-words.

02:31:40.000 You never heard shit like that.

02:31:41.000 Right.

02:31:42.000 It was comedy gold.

02:31:43.000 Well, you'd be free.

02:31:44.000 And then tough crowd.

02:31:46.000 Yeah, that was another one.

02:31:47.000 Another kind of situation.

02:31:47.000 Another one.

02:31:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:31:49.000 Where comics just got together and Colin Quinn was hosting it and he's hilarious and everybody's just riffing and fucking around and Norton's chiming in.

02:31:49.000 Yeah.

02:31:57.000 Yeah.

02:31:58.000 Japalo's chiming in and Greg Geraldo when he was alive.

02:32:01.000 Oh, brilliant guy.

02:32:02.000 Oh, he was great.

02:32:03.000 Yeah, but comedy's weird because I got my special out and it's only been out like a day or two, but I'm getting all these nice messages.

02:32:09.000 I love that bit.

02:32:10.000 I love that bit.

02:32:11.000 And those are the bits that didn't really do as well as some of the other ones.

02:32:15.000 Isn't that weird how that works?

02:32:16.000 Well, sometimes people just like something clever that's different than the way they think.

02:32:20.000 Like, oh, I like it.

02:32:21.000 Right, right.

02:32:22.000 You know, there's bits that are just hilarious, and there's other bits that just make me smile.

02:32:22.000 It isn't.

02:32:27.000 Like, that's fucking great.

02:32:28.000 That's a great bit.

02:32:30.000 That's true.

02:32:30.000 Just like Hicks said that once.

02:32:32.000 Like, if it's not going to be funny, at least make it interesting.

02:32:35.000 Yeah, that's good.

02:32:36.000 Yeah.

02:32:36.000 Be funny, but just be you.

02:32:38.000 But if you can be both, that's the winner.

02:32:41.000 That's the key.

02:32:42.000 Yeah.

02:32:43.000 And it's just this fucking constant dance.

02:32:45.000 And then as soon as it's over, oh my God, I'm starting from scratch.

02:32:48.000 Oh, that's where I'm at.

02:32:50.000 I'm back to square one.

02:32:50.000 I got the special out.

02:32:52.000 I'm the worst comic in America right now.

02:32:53.000 You're going to be at the club tonight?

02:32:54.000 I'll be there.

02:32:55.000 Joey's at the club tonight.

02:32:56.000 Oh.

02:32:56.000 Joey Diaz is headlining.

02:32:58.000 I don't want to follow him with my harsh shit.

02:32:59.000 No, he'll be headlining.

02:33:01.000 Okay, great.

02:33:02.000 No one has to follow him.

02:33:03.000 He's a fucking animal.

02:33:04.000 He is.

02:33:04.000 He's on fire right now.

02:33:06.000 Really?

02:33:06.000 He's on fire.

02:33:07.000 Yeah, because he's been doing these residencies.

02:33:10.000 He's been doing casinos in Philadelphia.

02:33:13.000 He's been doing shows all around New York and New Jersey.

02:33:15.000 He's killing it right now.

02:33:17.000 Oh, good.

02:33:17.000 I'm still trying to get him to move out here.

02:33:20.000 I can see it.

02:33:20.000 I'm trying.

02:33:21.000 I'm going to have to get him a place.

02:33:22.000 I think I'm going to have to buy a place.

02:33:24.000 A little warm out here, though.

02:33:25.000 He's a sweaty Cuban.

02:33:26.000 He'll deal with it.

02:33:27.000 Cuba's hot, too.

02:33:28.000 That's a good point.

02:33:29.000 I mean, really, right now.

02:33:30.000 He doesn't really complain about heat that much.

02:33:32.000 Joey complains about assholes, pussies, these fucking mokes, these white people.

02:33:38.000 Joe Rogan, you're around these fucking white people too much.

02:33:40.000 Yeah, well, New York's the weirdest because you walk by a hobo jerking off, and then I'll tell a zinger and be like, easy.

02:33:46.000 Isn't that weird?

02:33:47.000 I'm like, there's a dead guy on 3rd Street in the subway you took here.

02:33:51.000 And then I tell a joke and be like, whoa, buddy.

02:33:54.000 Well, it'll turn around.

02:33:55.000 It just has to.

02:33:56.000 Culture goes in these big waves.

02:33:58.000 It's like a seesaw.

02:33:59.000 It goes up, it goes down, it goes back, it goes forth.

02:34:02.000 It just feels like with young people, there's an HR vibe in the young world.

02:34:07.000 Well, you think that's the world they have to live in every day at work.

02:34:09.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

02:34:10.000 They go from the university where they're taught that shit, and then they go to a job where they're taught that shit, and that shit can actually help them get ahead.

02:34:16.000 Right.

02:34:17.000 And if you enforce it, like people are like, oh, they're scared.

02:34:20.000 They'll move you ahead.

02:34:20.000 They'll help you.

02:34:22.000 You know, if you push these values and push these ideas, like it'll help.

02:34:22.000 Yeah.

02:34:26.000 And then there's people that are, their whole job is just enforcing that stuff in the workplace.

02:34:31.000 And those people are fucked up.

02:34:32.000 There's a scary people.

02:34:33.000 HR people are the wackiest nuts on the planet.

02:34:35.000 Oh, those are the scary people because those are the fucking the hall pass monitors.

02:34:39.000 Right.

02:34:40.000 Right.

02:34:40.000 It's kind of like Asian porn.

02:34:43.000 You know, Asians are the most repressed people and their porn is bananas because they got to get it out.

02:34:48.000 You know, it's nuts about some of their porn.

02:34:50.000 They have to blur out the genitals.

02:34:51.000 I know.

02:34:52.000 Silly.

02:34:53.000 What are we doing here?

02:34:53.000 Help me out.

02:34:54.000 Help me out.

02:34:55.000 Yeah.

02:34:55.000 That's it.

02:34:56.000 You don't get to see her asshole where she's shitting in a guy's mouth.

02:35:00.000 This is crazy.

02:35:02.000 That's legitimately crazy.

02:35:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:35:05.000 You know, like in the 90s, you couldn't say fuck, but you could say the N-word on TV.

02:35:11.000 Interesting.

02:35:11.000 Yeah.

02:35:12.000 Saturday Night Live.

02:35:13.000 Right.

02:35:13.000 Exactly.

02:35:14.000 Stay at the end of that.

02:35:14.000 That Chevy Chase, Richard Pryor thing.

02:35:17.000 But you couldn't say fucking it at all.

02:35:17.000 Yes, exactly.

02:35:20.000 So it's funny how we take certainly, that's okay, but not that.

02:35:24.000 I know.

02:35:25.000 People are always looking to tell people what to do.

02:35:27.000 That's really what it is.

02:35:27.000 Yeah.

02:35:29.000 That's not new.

02:35:30.000 They're always looking to define people as being worse than them.

02:35:33.000 Like, that's a bad person.

02:35:34.000 I'm a good person.

02:35:34.000 Right.

02:35:35.000 And they're always looking to tell people what to do.

02:35:35.000 Yes.

02:35:38.000 Yeah.

02:35:39.000 That's as old as time.

02:35:40.000 Yeah.

02:35:41.000 These old, you know, but it just keeps shifting.

02:35:41.000 Sure.

02:35:43.000 Like in the 50s, you couldn't have a man and a woman in the same bed, but you could smoke in front of a baby.

02:35:48.000 And now you can have people fucking on TV, but smoking is like they have a disclaimer.

02:35:54.000 There's always going to be bitches in this world ruining it for everybody.

02:35:57.000 No matter what you do, there's always going to be people that try to find a loophole, try to find some fucking cheat code, sneak their way to the top, take Ozempic, do what they got to do.

02:36:06.000 I guess so, but we're all going to die one day, folks.

02:36:08.000 You might as well have a good time.

02:36:09.000 You should be having a good time before you die.

02:36:12.000 Don't wait till you die and go, I should have had more fun.

02:36:14.000 Yeah.

02:36:15.000 Well, don't have too much fun.

02:36:16.000 Burt Kreischer's quit drinking.

02:36:19.000 He had to.

02:36:20.000 He had to have blood clots.

02:36:20.000 He was dying.

02:36:22.000 And whoop.

02:36:22.000 Yeah.

02:36:23.000 Probably from the vax.

02:36:25.000 He took four of those fucking things.

02:36:26.000 Really?

02:36:27.000 He had to keep taking them because he was doing projects.

02:36:27.000 Yeah.

02:36:30.000 Oh, yeah.

02:36:31.000 They kept telling me he needs another booster in order to do this new thing.

02:36:34.000 Well, what happened to his tour bus?

02:36:35.000 What happened to his tour bus?

02:36:36.000 Oh, J-Mo.

02:36:39.000 His tour bus caught on fire.

02:36:40.000 When did this happen?

02:36:41.000 I think three days ago.

02:36:43.000 Oh.

02:36:44.000 They got a flat tire and then just randomly, like, I think they got another ride, and like, while they were getting their ride, it caught on fire.

02:36:50.000 What happened?

02:36:51.000 They could have been in there.

02:36:52.000 I think he's, he might be smartly saving it for a podcast or something.

02:36:56.000 Oh, shit.

02:36:56.000 Well, it's all over the news, too.

02:36:58.000 They just showed the fire, but I don't think that they've said what caused it.

02:37:02.000 He did a big Instagram live about it.

02:37:04.000 I didn't watch it, but yeah, that thing is torched.

02:37:06.000 It looks like Gaza footage.

02:37:08.000 Burt's the type of guy who might light his tour bus on fire just for clicks.

02:37:10.000 Look at that.

02:37:11.000 Whoa.

02:37:12.000 Comedian Burst Kreischer's tour bus destroyed by fire in Minnesota.

02:37:16.000 Yeah, the fucking Antifa got him.

02:37:18.000 Yeah, Minnesota's cursed.

02:37:20.000 Yeah, Antifa.

02:37:20.000 The fire is unknown.

02:37:21.000 I'm calling it.

02:37:22.000 I'm calling it.

02:37:23.000 It's the anti-ice people.

02:37:25.000 We are all safe, but my bus is gone.

02:37:27.000 God works in mysterious ways.

02:37:28.000 What?

02:37:29.000 Oh, he lit it on fire.

02:37:31.000 As soon as you say God works in mysterious ways, look at that thing.

02:37:34.000 That's nuts.

02:37:35.000 Something can stop the machine.

02:37:36.000 Wow, that's crazy.

02:37:38.000 Something's burning.

02:37:39.000 That's got to suck because that was a very expensive, expensive tour bus.

02:37:44.000 Yeah.

02:37:45.000 He was always on that thing.

02:37:47.000 Oh, my God.

02:37:48.000 That is crazy.

02:37:49.000 I've never had the desire to get a tour bus.

02:37:51.000 I've opened for Bert on the bus, and it's fun, but I couldn't do that all day, every day.

02:37:51.000 I don't like it either.

02:37:56.000 Well, I don't get hammered like he does.

02:37:57.000 So it's like this idea of just touring around.

02:37:59.000 But like my friends that are music, like Sturgil Simpson, he loves being on the bus.

02:38:03.000 Yeah, some people love it.

02:38:04.000 He said it's like a living room that you travel around in.

02:38:07.000 They're all strumming along, singing songs, partying, laughing, watching movies.

02:38:11.000 I guess that's nice.

02:38:12.000 I'll give you a flight.

02:38:13.000 I'll get there in 10 minutes.

02:38:14.000 Exactly.

02:38:15.000 You're traveling all night.

02:38:16.000 I need to go to the gym.

02:38:17.000 I need to eat steak at a nice restaurant.

02:38:20.000 I don't like doing that.

02:38:22.000 I'm with you, and that bed is like a coffin.

02:38:24.000 Yeah.

02:38:24.000 And you feel the bump of the road.

02:38:26.000 You're like, oh, we could just turn off any minute and on the highway.

02:38:28.000 You think about crashing.

02:38:30.000 Exactly.

02:38:30.000 What about that guy driving falls asleep?

02:38:32.000 Oh, and those aren't the most stand-up guys driving those, but they're like ex-cons and pedophiles and whatnot.

02:38:38.000 It's weird.

02:38:39.000 Also, I've never done those long tours like that.

02:38:42.000 I don't like those.

02:38:43.000 I don't either.

02:38:44.000 I think they're bad for you.

02:38:45.000 Well, also, we got kids, so I like to get in, get back, get in, get back.

02:38:49.000 Yeah, I've always done that.

02:38:50.000 I've always done like a week, except one time I did the Maxim comedy tour with Charlie Murphy and John Heffron.

02:38:56.000 Whoa.

02:38:58.000 We did 22 dates in a month, and I hated it because I'd be waking up and I'm like, where am I?

02:39:03.000 I didn't know where I was.

02:39:04.000 You're right.

02:39:05.000 Because you're always on the road.

02:39:06.000 22 dates is crazy.

02:39:07.000 It was nuts.

02:39:08.000 In a row.

02:39:09.000 You don't even know what day it is.

02:39:11.000 By the end of that month, whoo, you're sharp.

02:39:14.000 Oh, you're sharp.

02:39:14.000 You're tight.

02:39:16.000 You're just out there murdering.

02:39:16.000 Yeah.

02:39:18.000 You're just like, your timing is on point.

02:39:20.000 Everything is just rock solid.

02:39:22.000 And in a weird group, Hefron, Murphy, and you.

02:39:24.000 Yeah.

02:39:25.000 That's a lot of range.

02:39:26.000 It was fun.

02:39:27.000 Hefron's funny.

02:39:28.000 He's fun.

02:39:29.000 He's really funny.

02:39:30.000 Clean, too, actually.

02:39:31.000 Well, he mixes it up.

02:39:31.000 Yeah.

02:39:32.000 He's not clean offstage.

02:39:33.000 Off stage.

02:39:34.000 He's hilarious.

02:39:35.000 He's just hilarious, period.

02:39:36.000 He's a really good joke writer, too.

02:39:37.000 And this is like he had come off of Last Comic Standard.

02:39:40.000 He won that.

02:39:41.000 Right.

02:39:41.000 And then Charlie was the best.

02:39:43.000 Oh, Charlie.

02:39:44.000 She was such a good.

02:39:45.000 Such a good dude.

02:39:45.000 I never met him.

02:39:47.000 Really?

02:39:47.000 Such a real man.

02:39:49.000 A real solid dude.

02:39:49.000 Yeah.

02:39:51.000 Well, Eddie Murphy always talks about he was kind of his protector.

02:39:54.000 Like, if he talked shit about Eddie Murphy, he would just go beat you up.

02:39:56.000 Well, Charlie was a legitimate martial artist.

02:39:56.000 Oh, yeah.

02:39:59.000 Oh, is that?

02:39:59.000 I didn't know that.

02:40:00.000 He fought in karate tournaments and shit.

02:40:00.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:40:02.000 Yeah.

02:40:03.000 Yeah, we talked a lot about martial arts.

02:40:05.000 He knew his shit for sure.

02:40:07.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

02:40:08.000 I just thought he was a street guy.

02:40:08.000 Yeah.

02:40:09.000 No, he knew how to fight.

02:40:10.000 He was a dangerous guy.

02:40:12.000 But just a nice guy.

02:40:13.000 Just a solid human being.

02:40:16.000 I didn't even know he was sick, man.

02:40:18.000 I had no idea until he died.

02:40:20.000 And he kept it quiet.

02:40:23.000 Just like Norm did.

02:40:24.000 Yeah.

02:40:26.000 No one knew.

02:40:27.000 Norm was talking about moving to Austin.

02:40:29.000 He was talking about coming out here.

02:40:29.000 No one was.

02:40:30.000 Yeah.

02:40:31.000 Whoa.

02:40:32.000 And then just fucking died.

02:40:33.000 That's so commendable in this victim culture.

02:40:36.000 He could have gotten so much, so many points off that.

02:40:38.000 And he just wrote it out.

02:40:39.000 Apparently, he had been fighting cancer for a long time.

02:40:42.000 Yeah.

02:40:43.000 And if you look at him, like when he got real puffy for a while, that was probably what was going on.

02:40:48.000 Yeah.

02:40:48.000 Oh.

02:40:49.000 He was probably battling cancer.

02:40:51.000 If you watch his old, I'm talking 80s clips.

02:40:53.000 He's holding his stomach, like on Letterman, because he had stomach cancer.

02:40:56.000 Whoa.

02:40:57.000 And that's why he always touched his stomach because that he got hurt.

02:40:59.000 He had it for that long?

02:41:00.000 He had it because he had it and then he kind of beat it and it came back.

02:41:05.000 Yeah.

02:41:06.000 Crazy.

02:41:07.000 He's a hero.

02:41:08.000 Oh, man.

02:41:10.000 Is there a funnier guy than Norm?

02:41:11.000 I mean, one of the funniest guys of all time.

02:41:13.000 Funny on a podcast, funny on stand-up, funny in movies.

02:41:16.000 Funny talking to him in the hallway at the store.

02:41:18.000 Yes, exactly.

02:41:18.000 And just a great guy, man.

02:41:20.000 A great guy.

02:41:20.000 Oh, yeah.

02:41:22.000 And, you know, and would go after people who are cunts online, too.

02:41:25.000 Yeah, he did.

02:41:27.000 Seth Simon guy went after him.

02:41:28.000 Oh, really?

02:41:29.000 Yeah, one day, I'm going to meet you in real life.

02:41:31.000 Whoa.

02:41:32.000 He wrote Shane a nice Shane show me the email after he got a solid.

02:41:37.000 He was a solid dude.

02:41:38.000 He was a real solid.

02:41:39.000 And fucking funny, man.

02:41:40.000 So brilliant.

02:41:41.000 So funny.

02:41:42.000 Enlightened.

02:41:43.000 And he was like a Dostoevsky reader.

02:41:45.000 You know, and everybody thought he was this, you know, dumb guy.

02:41:47.000 I sat next to him randomly on a flight twice.

02:41:51.000 Don't do the smoking story.

02:41:52.000 I did already.

02:41:53.000 All right.

02:41:54.000 We've all heard it too many times.

02:41:55.000 Sorry.

02:41:56.000 But just randomly sitting next to him on a flight.

02:41:58.000 It was like, it was such a treat.

02:41:59.000 That's a gift.

02:42:00.000 Just to hang out with him for fucking hours on a plane, just laughing and talking.

02:42:05.000 There you go.

02:42:05.000 Yeah.

02:42:06.000 Just over here.

02:42:07.000 Solid dude.

02:42:08.000 There's good people out there.

02:42:09.000 Yeah.

02:42:11.000 He was great.

02:42:11.000 Yeah.

02:42:12.000 Yeah.

02:42:13.000 And he changed weekend update.

02:42:14.000 Oh, yeah.

02:42:15.000 I mean, the fact that he got fired for being funny.

02:42:18.000 He told the truth.

02:42:19.000 He told the truth about OJ killing his wife and he got in trouble.

02:42:21.000 Is that what happened?

02:42:22.000 That's what he was.

02:42:23.000 He was fired from weekend up to it.

02:42:24.000 Because Olmeyer was like the head of NBC and he was friends with OJ.

02:42:28.000 So he was like, stop shitting on OJ.

02:42:30.000 He's a friend of mine.

02:42:31.000 He's like, I can't.

02:42:32.000 He's a murderer.

02:42:33.000 That's crazy.

02:42:34.000 You told him to stop shitting on OJ.

02:42:36.000 And he kept doing it and he got fired.

02:42:38.000 Really?

02:42:38.000 That's what it was.

02:42:40.000 That's crazy.

02:42:42.000 Let me hear what he said.

02:42:45.000 Back it up.

02:42:47.000 And now the fake news.

02:42:49.000 Well, it.

02:42:52.000 This is finally a 50 honest.

02:42:54.000 We can't.

02:42:54.000 We can't play it.

02:42:55.000 Okay.

02:42:56.000 We'll get in trouble.

02:42:56.000 Okay.

02:42:57.000 Yeah, you can see it.

02:42:58.000 It's amazing.

02:42:58.000 He's got a whole compilation.

02:43:00.000 Let's wrap this bitch up and bring it home.

02:43:02.000 All right.

02:43:02.000 Mark Norman, you're the man.

02:43:03.000 Appreciate your brother.

02:43:04.000 New special.

02:43:05.000 New special out on Netflix.

02:43:06.000 I know it's hilarious.

02:43:07.000 I watched you work out some of the material.

02:43:08.000 It's called None Too Pleased.

02:43:10.000 It's available now.

02:43:12.000 As of the time we're talking, it's number five.

02:43:14.000 I'm sure it'll boost the fuck up after this.

02:43:17.000 Hell yeah, kick it up a notch.

02:43:19.000 And I'll see you tonight.

02:43:20.000 Thank you, sir.

02:43:20.000 Let's fucking go.

02:43:21.000 Comedy.

02:43:23.000 Bye, buddy.

02:43:27.000 Bye,

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 20, 2026

Joe Rogan Experience #2471 - Mark Normand

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