The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2480 - Arsenio Hall

00:00:02.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 All right.

00:00:13.000 Slap some headphones on.

00:00:14.000 Let's rock and roll, sir.

00:00:15.000 Yes.

00:00:17.000 Our old friend would be so happy.

00:00:19.000 Not just that picture, but so much that you've done.

00:00:23.000 Like, do you believe that people who have gone on know what we're doing or see us?

00:00:32.000 I don't know.

00:00:33.000 You'd like to think that you're that important.

00:00:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:37.000 I have a feeling they have more important stuff to do on the other side.

00:00:41.000 Yeah, I guess if you're in heaven, you're not thinking about the mothership.

00:00:45.000 Right.

00:00:45.000 Well, the mothership definitely is from her.

00:00:49.000 Yes.

00:00:50.000 Yes.

00:00:51.000 Yeah.

00:00:52.000 I mean, that's an incredible tribute to her.

00:00:55.000 Well, the bar is named after her.

00:00:57.000 Yeah.

00:00:58.000 I've heard all the comics, I've heard Shane and Ian and all the guys talk about it after they came back.

00:01:04.000 And.

00:01:05.000 That's just an honor, man.

00:01:08.000 Plus, you know, I used to say to people if you haven't taken something from watching Richard Pryor, you're probably doing it wrong.

00:01:16.000 And Mitzi made the greatest comedy mecca ever, and you got to copy what she did.

00:01:16.000 Right.

00:01:26.000 100%.

00:01:27.000 Yeah.

00:01:28.000 Wow.

00:01:29.000 And this is. 0.99

00:01:30.000 Yeah, she taught me everything about how to run a club, how to do it right. 0.99

00:01:34.000 Basically, kind of let the comedians run it, let the inmates run the asylum. 0.97

00:01:38.000 Yeah.

00:01:39.000 Yeah, we're perfect inmates for that.

00:01:39.000 You know?

00:01:42.000 And right now, the comedy store is greater than ever.

00:01:46.000 Yeah, it's wonderful there because, you know, I even got Jay Leno to come back, you know, because he remembered the old days and hadn't gone back.

00:01:46.000 That's awesome.

00:01:55.000 And I'm like, dude, it's different.

00:01:58.000 They.

00:01:59.000 Pay you for coming.

00:02:00.000 They split the door in a different way now, and there are phones in bags.

00:02:06.000 I had to explain that concept.

00:02:07.000 Yeah.

00:02:08.000 We had to encourage them to do all that.

00:02:10.000 Yeah, that was your era.

00:02:12.000 Yeah.

00:02:12.000 Well, once we left, we started doing that at the mothership for all the shows, then other comedy clubs started falling.

00:02:19.000 So it's the way to do it. 0.97

00:02:21.000 People are too fucking distracted.

00:02:24.000 Yeah, and I think it frees us up in a way. 0.97

00:02:28.000 I'll say things and try things and not worry about seeing them on YouTube when they're not ready or when I've made a mistake and gone too far and said something.

00:02:38.000 Oh, 100%. 0.98

00:02:39.000 It's also, you have to be free to fuck around and experiment. 1.00

00:02:42.000 And if someone takes that fucking around experiment, you don't know what's coming out of your mouth. 0.99

00:02:47.000 Like right now, I don't know what's coming out of my mouth right before I say it, right? 0.99

00:02:51.000 And people have to understand that.

00:02:52.000 This is not like when you're on stage and you're working out.

00:02:55.000 Like a lot of it is freeballing. 0.79

00:02:57.000 You've got material that's like pre sort of established, and you've got the bones of it, but you're also fucking around in the moment. 0.98

00:03:08.000 And sometimes you fuck around in the moment and it works, and sometimes you fuck around in the moment and it does nothing. 0.98

00:03:13.000 It goes, or it's terrible. 1.00

00:03:15.000 You said something awful.

00:03:16.000 You're like, whoops, sorry.

00:03:18.000 Yeah, we make mistakes. 0.99

00:03:19.000 You're just fucking creating something. 0.97

00:03:22.000 And then stand up is the only art form that you have to kind of create in front of a crowd. 0.99

00:03:27.000 You can't really do it.

00:03:28.000 You can get ideas and the concepts and the flesh of it alone, but it comes alive in front of the crowd. 0.99

00:03:36.000 You have to be able to fuck around. 0.98

00:03:38.000 Yeah, me and Chappelle, and you've done this kind of thing. 0.99

00:03:44.000 Me and Chappelle met Chris Rock in Cleveland because Chappelle lives in Ohio, obviously.

00:03:50.000 He's done something very similar to what you've done, but we'll get into that later.

00:03:53.000 Yeah, he's done something really cool.

00:03:55.000 Basically, he took over a whole town.

00:03:55.000 Incredible.

00:03:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:58.000 And it's funny.

00:03:59.000 And especially had a really funny joke about it. 0.61

00:04:02.000 About how when white people move into a neighborhood, it's called gentrification. 1.00

00:04:06.000 And he goes, They don't have a word for what I'm doing to these motherfuckers. 0.99

00:04:10.000 Yeah, it's crazy to be Dave Chappelle, the most important man in town. 0.99

00:04:14.000 Yeah.

00:04:15.000 But Chris Rock was doing Cleveland, and we met him there.

00:04:21.000 And that was the first time I saw the bags.

00:04:25.000 And I was apprehensive. 0.99

00:04:28.000 As a matter of fact, I saw a celebrity in LA who didn't want to put his phone in a bag, and so they had that motherfucker stay outside. 1.00

00:04:36.000 You know? 1.00

00:04:37.000 Yeah, there's too many snitches in this world. 1.00

00:04:39.000 Too many people just want to film everything for the gram. 1.00

00:04:42.000 Yeah.

00:04:43.000 Like, stop.

00:04:44.000 Yeah, sometimes we're saying the wrong thing.

00:04:46.000 Sometimes we're drunk.

00:04:48.000 Yeah, for sure, a lot.

00:04:49.000 Yeah.

00:04:50.000 Yeah, a lot.

00:04:51.000 Dave loves to get lit and go on stage.

00:04:53.000 But it's also like that's one of the ways he creates. 0.84

00:04:56.000 Like, I've seen him do entire shows when he's just completely fucking around and he films everything. 0.74

00:05:01.000 So then afterwards, he goes over it and he's like, Oh, there's a seed right there. 0.96

00:05:04.000 Let me plant that seed.

00:05:06.000 There's an idea there.

00:05:06.000 Yeah.

00:05:07.000 And then, you know, it's how you come up with stuff.

00:05:09.000 Yeah.

00:05:10.000 I never drink or smoke before going on stage, but I love to create it home.

00:05:17.000 And the next day, because sometimes you can write something down and it'll be like, Blazer Budden Envelope. 0.73

00:05:24.000 And the next day, you're like, I don't know what the fuck I thought was funny about that last night when I was smoking.

00:05:29.000 But I like to smoke and create it home and then take it to the stage. 0.94

00:05:33.000 But when I'm on stage, I've had bad experiences trying to do it high and saying, this will make me creative.

00:05:38.000 I'll be like Hendrix of comedy.

00:05:41.000 That's all wrong.

00:05:42.000 Your memory will go.

00:05:43.000 Yeah, your memory will go.

00:05:45.000 One time I was at the Laugh Factory and I came off, and George Lopez said to me, Why you come off?

00:05:51.000 And I said, I told you I'd do 20.

00:05:54.000 And he says, You did five. 0.99

00:05:59.000 I was in tonight show mode or some shit. 0.93

00:06:02.000 I got to clear something up. 0.90

00:06:03.000 Speaking of, this has nothing to do with you, but I did a podcast last week with Theo Vaughn.

00:06:09.000 And in it, there's like a video on the internet that's accusing me of lying about something.

00:06:15.000 And what I said was that I was in the mountains of Utah when the Charlie Kirk thing was going down.

00:06:22.000 What had actually happened was I was here doing a podcast with Charlie Sheen when the Charlie Kirk thing went down.

00:06:31.000 We stopped and took a piss break, right?

00:06:33.000 And that's when we found out about it, right?

00:06:37.000 And then when I was in the mountains of Utah, that's when the Jimmy Kimmel thing was happening.

00:06:42.000 When Jimmy Kimmel was getting in trouble, and I was getting all these messages, but I didn't have any service out there, so I had to hook up the Starlink in order to find out what was happening.

00:06:50.000 When I did the podcast the other day, it seemed like I was saying that I was in the mountains when Charlie Kirk got shot.

00:06:58.000 I probably was saying that.

00:07:00.000 I was exhausted when I did that show last week.

00:07:04.000 I did a show on Tuesday night at the club.

00:07:07.000 And I have this thing that I do, unfortunately, where I come home and it's the only time that I get alone time is when everyone's asleep.

00:07:15.000 And I stayed up way too late.

00:07:17.000 I stayed up super late.

00:07:18.000 Then I had to take my kid to school in the morning and I was like, I'll just power through. 1.00

00:07:22.000 The problem when I do that, when I get no sleep, is my memory is dog shit. 0.99

00:07:27.000 Like I have a really good memory and a terrible memory. 0.99

00:07:30.000 It's really good a lot of the times. 0.98

00:07:32.000 And then sometimes, especially when I'm tired, it's fucking terrible.

00:07:36.000 It's like from doing thousands of podcasts, my memory is like a room. 0.81

00:07:41.000 That's filled with boxes and files. 0.93

00:07:45.000 And I don't know where the fuck everything is. 0.91

00:07:47.000 See, as you were talking, the first thing, everything goes to sports for me. 0.99

00:07:52.000 Some of our greatest home run hitters, they strike out a lot because they're swinging all the motherfucking time trying to get it to McCovey Cove or something. 0.91

00:08:01.000 Of course. 0.78

00:08:01.000 And I think that's how we are, well, not we, you especially right now. 0.78

00:08:05.000 You're doing this constantly.

00:08:07.000 You're talking to lots of people saying lots of things.

00:08:10.000 And every now and then, there's going to be a swing and a miss.

00:08:13.000 Let me.

00:08:14.000 Explain that.

00:08:14.000 But the real problem was sleepy.

00:08:16.000 The real problem was not getting any sleep.

00:08:18.000 And I'm not going to do that anymore because I keep doing it.

00:08:21.000 I get home at 90.

00:08:22.000 Have you had that problem before?

00:08:23.000 Like sleep deprivation and you get yourself into some.

00:08:26.000 I've had that problem before.

00:08:27.000 Usually I can fix it with creatine.

00:08:29.000 So creatine is a great supplement when you're tired.

00:08:33.000 It really, there's been studies that show that creatine supplementation, especially like 10 to 20 grams, actually alleviates all of the problems that happen with sleep deprivation.

00:08:47.000 In terms of cognitive function.

00:08:49.000 But I've been, I just was doing some blood work.

00:08:53.000 So when I knew that I was going to do my blood work, I didn't take any creatine for a month because I want to, because I'd read something about creatine possibly being bad for your kidneys.

00:09:02.000 So I wanted to get a baseline, do it, and then do it again when I saw it.

00:09:08.000 So I had this like strategy.

00:09:09.000 But the point is, like, creatine.

00:09:11.000 Yeah, my brain was foggy.

00:09:13.000 And so for the people that like heard that and like, what is wrong with you?

00:09:18.000 That's what I thought when I saw.

00:09:19.000 Like, somebody put a video on the line.

00:09:21.000 Why is he lying about this?

00:09:22.000 I'm like, oh, I forgot.

00:09:24.000 It wasn't a lie.

00:09:25.000 It's just my brain sucks when I don't get sleep, and I'm not going to do that anymore.

00:09:30.000 Because it's like when I get home at night, it's the only time I'm alone.

00:09:35.000 It's like my only alone time. 0.94

00:09:37.000 And even though I knew I had to get up in the morning and take my kid to school, I was like, I don't fucking care. 0.92

00:09:41.000 I'm staying up. 0.89

00:09:43.000 The problem with that is, like, when I have to do this the next day, I just don't function as good.

00:09:49.000 I've done it.

00:09:50.000 I've done it before, but I feel it the next day.

00:09:53.000 Like, I can't recall things.

00:09:55.000 My words don't come out as smooth.

00:09:57.000 I don't have as much.

00:09:58.000 My vocabulary is limited.

00:10:00.000 It's like there's too many problems with it.

00:10:02.000 So, I mean, two things that come through my mind.

00:10:03.000 I can't answer that anymore.

00:10:05.000 First of all, do guys with these arms do creatine?

00:10:07.000 I mean, would it help me?

00:10:08.000 Oh, it's great for everybody.

00:10:10.000 Yeah.

00:10:10.000 Creatine is not just a supplement for muscles, creatine is actually a really good cognitive function supplement.

00:10:17.000 It's actually a cognitive enhancing supplement.

00:10:20.000 Yeah, there's a lot of research on that.

00:10:22.000 And the other thing that hit me is I was listening to you talk recently, and you talked about smoking herb and how it enhanced the weightlifting process.

00:10:22.000 Yeah.

00:10:33.000 Yeah.

00:10:34.000 What's that about?

00:10:35.000 You feel it in your tissues, man.

00:10:37.000 It's like you feel it's really good for coordination exercise.

00:10:41.000 Like there's a lot of jujitsu guys who smoke weed.

00:10:44.000 They smoke weed right before class, like get ripped, and then get a little bit of a high.

00:10:48.000 So the Gracie's were high when I first started seeing her?

00:10:50.000 Not those guys. 0.99

00:10:51.000 Okay.

00:10:51.000 Those guys don't do it, but a lot of guys do.

00:10:53.000 I think one of the, I don't want to throw them under the bus, but one of the brothers was really into smoking weed and doing jujitsu, and arguably the best one.

00:11:02.000 Definitely the best one.

00:11:03.000 But a lot of jujitsu guys do it.

00:11:06.000 And a lot of guys like to do it before kickboxing.

00:11:10.000 You just feel your muscles more.

00:11:13.000 You feel like your coordination more.

00:11:15.000 You're more sensitive.

00:11:16.000 It's weird.

00:11:17.000 It's like instead of you being like abstract with your movements and, you know, just kind of like doing it.

00:11:23.000 It's like you feel all the tissues, all the connections.

00:11:26.000 When you lift weights, you're like, ugh. 0.99

00:11:28.000 Like you feel all the fibers of all your shit moving. 0.99

00:11:32.000 It's like, it just makes you more sensitive. 0.99

00:11:35.000 It's such a misunderstood substance.

00:11:38.000 Not for everybody.

00:11:40.000 I really believe some people should not get high.

00:11:42.000 I think for some people, it throws them off and sends them down a dark road, and it's just not comfortable.

00:11:47.000 It causes them to procrastinate about their life and personal responsibilities.

00:11:51.000 There's a lot of that.

00:11:52.000 There's a lot of people that just wake and bake and just live in the cloud all day and never get anything done.

00:11:56.000 Anything done?

00:11:57.000 And then there's a lot of people that also get like super paranoid and they get anxiety and they freak out.

00:12:02.000 And then there's people that there's a lot of connections to marijuana and psychosis or schizophrenic states.

00:12:13.000 But the problem with that is, were they already like, did they already have a propensity towards schizophrenia and marijuana pushed them over the edge?

00:12:21.000 Were they going to get it anyway?

00:12:22.000 Like, it's hard to say.

00:12:23.000 A lot of those guys on a diet, Coke would have problems.

00:12:26.000 Yeah, right. 0.98

00:12:27.000 There's a lot of guys just fucking red lights freaking out. 0.98

00:12:27.000 Right. 0.98

00:12:30.000 There's people that just life is too hard for them and they don't need something else that fucks with it. 0.89

00:12:35.000 You know, if you already have mental health struggles, probably shouldn't do mushrooms. 0.65

00:12:39.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:12:40.000 If you're already fucked up, if there's already some things that you're like struggling to hang on to everyday life, yeah, you probably shouldn't do acid. 0.99

00:12:47.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:12:48.000 Yeah.

00:12:49.000 You should probably just. 1.00

00:12:50.000 Just try to like keep your shit together. 1.00

00:12:53.000 But that's not everybody. 0.99

00:12:54.000 It's like alcohol.

00:12:55.000 Like, alcohol is not for everybody.

00:12:57.000 But some people can have a glass of wine at dinner and just start laughing.

00:13:01.000 It's a nice social lubricant. 0.99

00:13:03.000 Some people, they got one drink and then they're doing Coke and they're getting hookers and they're fucking driving on the freeway and ah, they're shooting at cops. 1.00

00:13:11.000 They go crazy. 0.99

00:13:12.000 Like, some people just can't handle alcohol.

00:13:14.000 Doesn't mean it should be illegal.

00:13:16.000 Like, that's crazy.

00:13:17.000 And there's the same thing I feel with pot.

00:13:19.000 Pot is super beneficial to a lot of people and has been for.

00:13:24.000 Millions of years.

00:13:25.000 Yeah.

00:13:26.000 Who knows?

00:13:26.000 For me, that's my, like in the old days, you'd watch a television show and a guy would have a martini when he comes home.

00:13:32.000 Yeah.

00:13:33.000 I even talk about that in the book.

00:13:35.000 When I come home, my girl has me a joint laid out on the counter, you know, and nice little raw papers.

00:13:43.000 And that's my, that's daddy's cocktail.

00:13:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:47.000 It's a nice one, too, because it doesn't fuck with your body.

00:13:50.000 The problem with alcohol is, you know, it feels good while you're doing it, but then the next day, you're like, Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:13:57.000 Your fucking head and your body's tired. 0.99

00:14:00.000 I hear swelling, you know, and different kinds of things. 1.00

00:14:05.000 And also, I'm from a home where my favorite person, my cousin, because I didn't have brothers and sisters, biological brothers and sisters.

00:14:14.000 So when my cousin came to live with me, a male, he's a teenager, and he had a drinking problem.

00:14:20.000 Like I would go inside my toy box and find scotch.

00:14:26.000 Oh, he would hide it?

00:14:27.000 Yeah, he would hide it.

00:14:28.000 He's parked in the garage when there were already two cars in the garage.

00:14:33.000 You know, and I loved him, and he was hilarious, and he, in part, helped to make me who I am.

00:14:41.000 A bad experience like that in your youth can make you a little bit leery about liquor.

00:14:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:47.000 I had a friend of mine when I was in high school, and his cousin sold Coke, and I watched this guy fall apart.

00:14:53.000 I watched him do cocaine constantly and fall apart.

00:14:56.000 His life just went down the toilet, and I never touched cocaine because of that.

00:15:00.000 I never did.

00:15:01.000 I've still never done Coke.

00:15:02.000 And I think that's why, because I watched his other life.

00:15:05.000 So you've never tried a line?

00:15:07.000 Never.

00:15:08.000 That's heavy.

00:15:08.000 Not once.

00:15:09.000 Yeah.

00:15:09.000 Because I had to try it to see what it smelled like.

00:15:13.000 I mean, I'm sure I'd like it.

00:15:15.000 My friend Jimmy said, Don't do this.

00:15:17.000 You'd love it.

00:15:17.000 But he's probably right.

00:15:19.000 But you also have a certain kind of discipline where I think you could do a line and say, Okay, I get it.

00:15:24.000 But I love that you have the discipline to never try it.

00:15:28.000 I don't have that kind of strength.

00:15:30.000 I got to see what it's like once.

00:15:32.000 The thing is, I don't know anybody who's had cocaine was really good for me.

00:15:36.000 Doing cocaine was really good.

00:15:38.000 When I started doing cocaine, my life just really changed.

00:15:40.000 I really got clarity.

00:15:41.000 I started focusing.

00:15:42.000 I was nicer to people.

00:15:43.000 I don't ever hear that story.

00:15:45.000 Not once.

00:15:45.000 Never.

00:15:46.000 I did a little coke and then I was.

00:15:47.000 I was president of Yale and I ran for.

00:15:50.000 I do hear people say that about speed, which is weird.

00:15:53.000 You hear people say that about amphetamines, like especially Adderall, like how, oh my God, it makes me so productive.

00:15:59.000 I get so much done.

00:16:01.000 But it's generally, it's like journalists and people that have to write a lot.

00:16:05.000 Students.

00:16:06.000 I'm very curious about Adderall because I'm hearing so much and I'm thinking, like when I was doing the book, right?

00:16:15.000 I'm like, would Adderall be good to focus me, to do for me what it does for students that I hear talk about it?

00:16:23.000 Probably, probably, but I don't.

00:16:25.000 It's a pill, right?

00:16:26.000 It scares me, though, because I know a lot of people with problems with it.

00:16:33.000 It's a real catchy one.

00:16:35.000 It gets you.

00:16:36.000 And then you start leaning on it.

00:16:38.000 So that's one of the downs it's extremely addicting.

00:16:41.000 Very addictive.

00:16:42.000 But what's the other downside?

00:16:44.000 Well, I would imagine when you get off of it, you're exhausted.

00:16:47.000 I would imagine whenever there's always some sort of a biological, you know, there's no free lunch, right?

00:16:57.000 Anything that speeds you up is going to bring you down.

00:16:59.000 Like, if you're ramping your body up where you're focusing for fucking 16 hours, just sitting in front of the typewriter, yeah. 0.53

00:17:07.000 And that's why journalists like it. 0.94

00:17:10.000 I would imagine the back end of it.

00:17:12.000 You've done it, Jamie.

00:17:14.000 Only twice, because it kept me up for two days.

00:17:16.000 See, that's what I'm talking about.

00:17:17.000 Sounds like cold.

00:17:18.000 It's an amphetamine.

00:17:18.000 That's it.

00:17:19.000 So, yeah, I went to try to go to bed and was like, oh, well, this is.

00:17:22.000 Isn't happening.

00:17:23.000 So let's get up and see how.

00:17:25.000 All right.

00:17:25.000 We're up all day.

00:17:26.000 Yeah.

00:17:26.000 Two days?

00:17:27.000 I just had to call off work.

00:17:28.000 It wasn't good.

00:17:29.000 And then you feel real dopey after it wears off, right?

00:17:31.000 Yeah.

00:17:32.000 I didn't feel like I succeeded on anything that day. 0.99

00:17:35.000 Man, that is a fucking problem for me is like the lack of sleep thing. 0.96

00:17:39.000 After this whole Charlie Kirk thing with this, what I was just talking about, I'm really going to concentrate a lot more on sleep. 0.99

00:17:46.000 You can't fuck with that because it's like, especially me, it's like I need my brain to be functioning at its highest potential. 0.96

00:17:54.000 Most of the time. 0.99

00:17:55.000 Like, that's what you're doing, especially when I'm in here.

00:17:58.000 I was talking to Theo Vaughn.

00:17:59.000 I didn't think it would be that big of a deal.

00:18:01.000 Theo's a comic. 0.91

00:18:02.000 We're just going to be silly.

00:18:03.000 The most recent one?

00:18:04.000 Yeah, the one I was just talking about.

00:18:05.000 It would probably be good to be loopy, you know?

00:18:08.000 Like, because, you know, the writers on news radio, they would stay up all night on purpose just to get loopy because they didn't really do any drugs. 0.92

00:18:17.000 They just would use sleep deprivation to be silly. 0.81

00:18:21.000 It was hilarious.

00:18:22.000 Like, these guys would start writing at like 2 o'clock in the morning.

00:18:27.000 Like, they would stay up, they would play video games, and they would start writing a script at like 2 o'clock in the morning.

00:18:31.000 And then they would stumble in to, like, when we have a table read, they would stumble into the table read, like, just finishing the script.

00:18:38.000 They would lay it out to us, they just got done printing it. 0.98

00:18:42.000 And these guys would be fucking just completely out of it, hair all fucked up, barefoot. 0.98

00:18:47.000 It was really funny the way they operated, but there was a method to their madness. 0.99

00:18:52.000 And that method was the more tired you get, the more exhausted you get, you get into sleep deprivation, you get loopy.

00:18:58.000 And you get silly and you start thinking silly things. 0.65

00:19:01.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:19:02.000 And those guys, that's how they would use it.

00:19:04.000 They would use that weird state of mind, that loopiness to write.

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00:20:31.000 I need my sleep, man.

00:20:32.000 If I have sleep, I can do anything.

00:20:35.000 I feel like they could have got there with weed without all the loopiness.

00:20:39.000 You know, you want to get there?

00:20:40.000 Like you can get there with weed and you don't have to stay up all night.

00:20:44.000 You get it like right away.

00:20:46.000 Yeah, but weed ain't for everybody.

00:20:48.000 It's not for everybody.

00:20:49.000 It ain't for everybody.

00:20:51.000 But yeah, I love having my sleep.

00:20:54.000 As a matter of fact, that's the drug that's most important to me.

00:20:59.000 Having an Ambien nearby.

00:21:02.000 Yeah, a quarter, just a little bite of Ambien.

00:21:02.000 You like that?

00:21:06.000 Just a little bite.

00:21:07.000 Yeah, we'll hook you up. 1.00

00:21:09.000 I knew a dude who would take that shit every day. 1.00

00:21:11.000 He had to take it all the time. 1.00

00:21:13.000 And then he was taking two.

00:21:15.000 And he told me, like, dude, my house could be on fire, and I would have no idea.

00:21:20.000 I'm like, that can't be good, but he needed it.

00:21:23.000 It was the only way he could go to sleep.

00:21:25.000 But he was also taking Adderall.

00:21:26.000 So he was taking Adderall in the day, and then he was taking Ambient at night.

00:21:30.000 Can't believe he's still alive.

00:21:31.000 Yeah, that's too much. 0.96

00:21:34.000 Yeah, the Adderall fucked his life up, too. 0.94

00:21:37.000 Woo. 0.56

00:21:38.000 Yeah.

00:21:39.000 It's not, you know, I don't think you should rely on anything for sleep.

00:21:43.000 For me, I just, I've never had a sleep problem, fortunately.

00:21:47.000 I could go to sleep on a bag of rocks, I could just crash. 1.00

00:21:50.000 It drives my wife nuts.

00:21:52.000 Because, like, if we're on a plane, the moment the plane takes off, I'm out cold.

00:21:52.000 Yeah.

00:21:56.000 I could just go to sleep.

00:21:58.000 The bad thing about me is I can sleep best in places I shouldn't sleep, like church.

00:22:04.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:22:05.000 Or sitting, talking to my woman. 0.97

00:22:07.000 Church will make you sleepy.

00:22:08.000 I don't know why.

00:22:09.000 Why does church make you so sleepy?

00:22:11.000 Or reading?

00:22:12.000 Yeah.

00:22:13.000 Reading will put you out.

00:22:14.000 There are some audible books that are worse than Ambient.

00:22:17.000 Right.

00:22:17.000 You know.

00:22:18.000 Yeah.

00:22:19.000 Something about physically reading puts me out.

00:22:21.000 Just sitting there, like, looking at the pages, I just start nodding off.

00:22:21.000 Yeah.

00:22:25.000 Yeah.

00:22:26.000 I, I, um,.

00:22:27.000 The Alchemist, I have been on page 12 for like a year and a half.

00:22:33.000 You know, sit down on a plane and just read The Alchemist at the top of the page and I'm out.

00:22:40.000 Yeah.

00:22:41.000 It's fiction for me that puts me out.

00:22:43.000 Nonfiction doesn't really put me out.

00:22:46.000 Nonfiction is more, like, I guess it's more stimulating because it's real, you know, because I'm reading about real things.

00:22:52.000 Something about reading fiction is what puts me to sleep.

00:22:54.000 Yeah.

00:22:55.000 For me, it's just reading.

00:22:56.000 I got to take out my license, you know, and look and see.

00:23:03.000 Halfway through my name.

00:23:06.000 Out.

00:23:07.000 This is cool, man.

00:23:08.000 Not having sleep is got like a person that's got like legitimate insomnia. 0.99

00:23:12.000 That's got to be the nuttiest fucking problem. 0.99

00:23:15.000 Like, that's that movie, The Mechanic? 0.99

00:23:17.000 No, The Machinist.

00:23:18.000 Did you ever see that movie, The Machinist?

00:23:20.000 Is that an action movie?

00:23:20.000 No.

00:23:22.000 Well, that's the movie with Christian Bale.

00:23:27.000 Christian Bale, where he lost an insane amount of weight.

00:23:30.000 Like, Christian Bale's a Big guy.

00:23:33.000 I think he got to like 130 something pounds.

00:23:35.000 Yeah.

00:23:36.000 And the idea was that this guy was going completely insane because he couldn't sleep.

00:23:41.000 And so he wasn't eating.

00:23:42.000 And so he was just like up all the time, like out of it.

00:23:45.000 And he, like, if you see what he looked like when he made that movie, it's like that's what he looked like in the movie. 0.99

00:23:52.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:23:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:54.000 That looks like he's about to make a whole different movie.

00:23:57.000 Yeah.

00:23:57.000 Like he was about to die.

00:23:59.000 And then he went from that.

00:24:00.000 And right afterwards, he did Batman.

00:24:02.000 So he got super jacked.

00:24:04.000 He went from that. 0.99

00:24:05.000 And by the way, the movie sucks. 0.98

00:24:08.000 So this guy wrecked his health for a movie that wasn't even good. 0.97

00:24:13.000 And I mean, I wonder how good it could even be when your main guy is dying.

00:24:20.000 Look at that image on the far right.

00:24:23.000 The one that you just look at that.

00:24:25.000 Look at the difference between that was like six months later.

00:24:29.000 That can't be healthy.

00:24:30.000 No. 1.00

00:24:31.000 Fucking terrible for you. 0.99

00:24:32.000 It has to be terrible. 1.00

00:24:34.000 Terrible.

00:24:35.000 Do you like to act?

00:24:37.000 No.

00:24:38.000 I don't hate it.

00:24:40.000 I don't like the process.

00:24:41.000 I don't like waiting around all day.

00:24:43.000 I don't like being on set.

00:24:44.000 I don't like dealing with some actors are great.

00:24:48.000 Some actors are just like all kinds of people.

00:24:50.000 Cops.

00:24:50.000 Yeah.

00:24:50.000 There's a lot of cops that are awesome.

00:24:52.000 Because I know you're at a point in your life when you could probably do anything you want, and I never see you pursuing any acting roles.

00:25:00.000 No, I avoid them.

00:25:02.000 Yeah.

00:25:02.000 I've been offered some fun stuff, and I was like, I'm not going to Bulgaria for three months.

00:25:08.000 Fuck that. 0.99

00:25:09.000 I'm just, it's not my thing. 1.00

00:25:11.000 And if it was my thing, I'd be like, feel very fortunate, and I'd dive on it.

00:25:16.000 I'd be like, oh my God.

00:25:17.000 So when you look at something you've done and you're watching a role in dailies or, uh, At the premiere, you don't love what you see so much that you do more of it?

00:25:27.000 It doesn't bother me.

00:25:29.000 It's just not what I enjoy doing.

00:25:32.000 Again, it's the process that's the problem.

00:25:34.000 It's the 16 hour days.

00:25:37.000 And it's being around actors because you're around people that need to think and need to talk in a very specific way because they're always worried they're going to be cast out of the kingdom.

00:25:51.000 You know what I mean?

00:25:52.000 So it's like this very disingenuous way of communicating.

00:25:55.000 That's a lot of actors have, and it's just.

00:25:58.000 And you always feel when you do something that this person's gonna be your friend for life. 1.00

00:26:02.000 I'll see you next month, and you never see that fucker ever again. 0.99

00:26:06.000 It's such a disingenuous environment. 1.00

00:26:08.000 Do you enjoy it?

00:26:08.000 Do you enjoy acting?

00:26:10.000 I kinda like it, but at 70, I prefer to just be at home.

00:26:16.000 You're 70.

00:26:17.000 Yeah.

00:26:18.000 You look so good.

00:26:19.000 Oh, thanks.

00:26:20.000 That's kind of crazy that you're 70.

00:26:22.000 And no creatine.

00:26:24.000 Imagine how good you'd look if you'd get creatine.

00:26:26.000 I'm gonna get it.

00:26:27.000 70, man. 1.00

00:26:28.000 If you told me that you were 45, if I didn't know you, you told me you were 45, I'd believe you. 1.00

00:26:33.000 That's nuts.

00:26:34.000 That's a blessing.

00:26:36.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:26:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:38.000 And I'm happy.

00:26:39.000 So that's unusual.

00:26:41.000 Yeah, right?

00:26:42.000 A lot of people when they're 70, they're bitter and tired.

00:26:45.000 Yeah.

00:26:47.000 I talk a little bit in the book about Richard Pryor coming to my first condo.

00:26:53.000 I bought a condo so I could, I didn't have a car yet.

00:26:57.000 And eventually I got one.

00:26:58.000 But when I first came to LA, I wanted to be between the comedy store and the improv, so I could get to both.

00:27:02.000 Oh, right.

00:27:03.000 So I bought me a condo and I told Richard Pryor that I got a condo.

00:27:08.000 I don't know.

00:27:09.000 It's one of those, I think I heard you and Shane talking about it, how you see your heroes. 0.99

00:27:15.000 Now and then, and sometimes you just say the wrong shit. 0.99

00:27:17.000 And I was expecting this to be the wrong shit, but it's all I could think of. 0.99

00:27:20.000 And I said, Richard, I just bought a condo. 0.98

00:27:23.000 And he said, Oh, wow, I'd like to see it.

00:27:28.000 And I was like, Oh, okay.

00:27:33.000 And him and Rashawn, his body man, came to see my condo.

00:27:38.000 And that was the coolest thing in the world.

00:27:40.000 But the one thing I remember, I remember I had no furniture, and Rashawn had told me, his guy had told me to get some kvassier.

00:27:48.000 So I had some kvassier, you know, and we sat on the floor and drank kvassier and listened to a boombox with jazz on it and talked.

00:27:58.000 And he looked around at one point and he said, This reminds me of when I was happy.

00:28:04.000 Whoa.

00:28:05.000 And I don't even have to tell you what went through my head and what I thought that meant.

00:28:10.000 And I didn't listen to him then. 0.98

00:28:12.000 That's the thing people disperse knowledge to us from their experiences, and sometimes we're too young and dumb to listen. 0.58

00:28:19.000 What did that mean to you at the time when he said, This reminds me of when I was happy.

00:28:23.000 You know, I was so excited that Richard Pryor came to see my condo.

00:28:27.000 I didn't process it.

00:28:28.000 But years later, I start realizing that he bought things and philosophies that made his life more complex.

00:28:41.000 And he was happy.

00:28:43.000 This is what I think it means. 1.00

00:28:45.000 He was happy with the simple shit, you know? 0.99

00:28:47.000 And sometimes, I mean, it's nice to have, isn't it cool to have money but still eat burgers if you want to? 0.99

00:28:53.000 I mean, Because I remember walking through supermarkets and pretending I was shopping and eating out of the child cart, that little top part, and then leaving the supermarket.

00:29:06.000 So it's nice to be able to buy anything we want.

00:29:10.000 But at the same time, I get that thing of the simplicity and no guard gate.

00:29:19.000 Nobody's knocking down your door trying to get to you.

00:29:22.000 Yeah, just a contour with no furniture.

00:29:24.000 And for a guy like that, for the greatest that I've ever known in our world, to say I was happy when I had a little place with no furniture, I didn't think about it enough then, but later I realized what he meant when I was in a house that was too big with guest houses.

00:29:43.000 Yeah.

00:29:44.000 That would, you know, you walk into a guest house and cobwebs get on your face, you know, because you ain't been in there in a while and you realize, okay, This is what Richard was talking about. 0.94

00:29:54.000 I'm doing a lot of shit for other people that I don't need. 0.98

00:29:58.000 Right. 0.98

00:29:59.000 And too much complexity.

00:30:02.000 Yeah.

00:30:02.000 Too much complications.

00:30:03.000 My business manager said something about my staff, and it dawned on me what the fuck do I have a staff for? 0.77

00:30:10.000 You know, and I've simplified things a little bit in my life, and I'm really happy. 0.85

00:30:16.000 It's just, you know, me and my woman and a scaled down life.

00:30:24.000 That's better.

00:30:25.000 Yeah.

00:30:26.000 There's a lot of people that just want a lot of people around them because it makes them feel important.

00:30:30.000 They have a big staff.

00:30:31.000 They have a lot of people working for them, a lot of things going on, a lot of different projects.

00:30:36.000 Keep moving, keep moving.

00:30:37.000 Yeah.

00:30:38.000 But no peace.

00:30:39.000 Yeah.

00:30:40.000 Not good.

00:30:40.000 I always tell comedians, like, they're like, oh, I got to get an assistant.

00:30:43.000 I go, no, you don't. 1.00

00:30:44.000 Just do less shit. 1.00

00:30:45.000 Don't get an assistant. 1.00

00:30:46.000 You get an assistant, that person's going to want to kill you. 0.99

00:30:49.000 That person's going to feel entitled.

00:30:51.000 You're making all this money.

00:30:52.000 They're not.

00:30:53.000 You're famous.

00:30:54.000 They're not.

00:30:55.000 They see you for who you really are.

00:30:57.000 They're following you. 1.00

00:30:58.000 Fucking regular guy. 1.00

00:31:00.000 Why has he got all this? 1.00

00:31:01.000 Like David Spade's assistant duct taped him and tased him.

00:31:04.000 Remember that?

00:31:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:06.000 Try to kill him. 1.00

00:31:07.000 That's heavy, man. 0.99

00:31:10.000 And I've heard that the people who work for us always hate us.

00:31:15.000 I've always avoided.

00:31:16.000 It's not always the case.

00:31:17.000 They said, You know, your housekeeper hates you.

00:31:19.000 And I'm like, No, she's been with me 22 years. 1.00

00:31:22.000 She's like, That bitch hates you, man. 1.00

00:31:26.000 And I don't want to believe that. 1.00

00:31:28.000 It's not always the case, but it is often the case that.

00:31:31.000 People that are around people that have so much, they feel like, why don't I have this?

00:31:37.000 Like, I'm working for this person.

00:31:39.000 Why am I not doing it?

00:31:40.000 Why am I not rich?

00:31:41.000 This person could just make me rich.

00:31:43.000 It's weird.

00:31:43.000 You know what I mean?

00:31:44.000 Yeah.

00:31:45.000 Like, that's not what the job is.

00:31:46.000 The job is you're a gardener.

00:31:49.000 Gardener doesn't make $5 million a year. 0.79

00:31:52.000 Like, this is, you're kind of being crazy.

00:31:54.000 And then you get people that take advantage of you where you get a bill and you're like, why does it cost this much?

00:31:59.000 Like, this is kind of like, I have a friend who's very wealthy. 0.89

00:32:02.000 He's a businessman and he goes over every fucking little thing that people charge him. 0.98

00:32:08.000 He's always looking for, they're fucking trying to overcharge me. 0.99

00:32:10.000 He signs his own checks. 0.99

00:32:12.000 But he gets crazy when he thinks people are overcharging him.

00:32:12.000 Yeah.

00:32:15.000 But I'm like, dude, you're almost 80 and you're worth a billion dollars.

00:32:20.000 Like, why do you, why are you looking at like how much the car wash guy charges you?

00:32:24.000 This is crazy.

00:32:24.000 Maybe that's why he has a billion.

00:32:27.000 Perhaps, I mean, he's a businessman, that's his thing, but what drives him nuts is this idea that people are overcharging him because he's wealthy.

00:32:36.000 Oh, I hate advantage of him. 0.75

00:32:38.000 Joe, the craziest I ever went was I had a barber when I had hair, you know, and you know, a black barber is a skilled scientist, you know, because back then I had it fried, dyed, and laid to the side with three Adidas stripes over on the left. 0.99

00:32:57.000 And, you know, my shit was intricate that year. 0.98

00:33:01.000 And my business manager happened to be a business manager for two other entertainers. 0.99

00:33:08.000 And he's also my friend.

00:33:10.000 And one day he says, You know, that guy charges the three of you different prices. 1.00

00:33:16.000 And I'm like, Get the fuck. 0.99

00:33:19.000 So I found out that Johnny Gill was paying $100. 1.00

00:33:23.000 I was paying $350.

00:33:27.000 And that drives me crazy because basically, like you say, he was charging.

00:33:33.000 Based on who I am.

00:33:34.000 Right.

00:33:35.000 Yeah, he, like, you can afford it.

00:33:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:38.000 And I had a friend who had more money than me, and he was charging him a crazy amount.

00:33:43.000 It was like the rental of a rose.

00:33:47.000 Crazy money.

00:33:49.000 Yeah, well, that's what comes with the territory.

00:33:52.000 People just think you're not going to notice, they don't care, you know?

00:33:56.000 Yeah.

00:33:58.000 I guess.

00:33:59.000 Yeah.

00:34:00.000 Do you think you're happier now than you were when the Arsenio Hall show was at its peak?

00:34:09.000 Yeah, I think I'm happier now because with that peak comes a lot of pressure and a lot of work. 0.98

00:34:18.000 And I'd be a liar to say I don't enjoy having the money without the other shit. 0.97

00:34:24.000 You know, I did a good job of investing and making sure that when the lights went out, I was good. 0.98

00:34:33.000 So, I love my life right now, man.

00:34:37.000 More relaxed, less pressure.

00:34:38.000 And being the OG, and pretty much your responsibility is just giving advice to a comic in the hallway.

00:34:44.000 Yeah.

00:34:46.000 A lot of the young guys don't understand what you did because what your show was, like back in, I guess, when did it first come on the air?

00:34:56.000 What year?

00:34:57.000 Probably coming to America was like 86, 87.

00:35:00.000 I left New York and went and started the show.

00:35:02.000 So 87, 88, sometime around in there.

00:35:04.000 I'm bad with years.

00:35:05.000 Yeah.

00:35:06.000 During that time and in the 90s, It changed the whole landscape of late night television.

00:35:13.000 Like, completely changed it.

00:35:15.000 Because late night television was stiff. 1.00

00:35:17.000 You know, it was like, you have a fucking desk. 1.00

00:35:20.000 The desk made no sense to me. 0.99

00:35:23.000 I talk about the desk and how I got rid of it.

00:35:25.000 It made no sense.

00:35:27.000 But I was like, oh, finally, he got rid of the desk.

00:35:30.000 Are we being lectured?

00:35:31.000 Am I in the principal's office? 1.00

00:35:33.000 Like, what is the fucking desk for? 0.99

00:35:35.000 But when they first started doing that in the 1950s, if you went to work, you had a desk. 0.99

00:35:39.000 Yeah.

00:35:40.000 Die at a desk and they all smoke cigarettes while they're on the job.

00:35:40.000 You had to wear it.

00:35:45.000 You know, you watch like the Johnny Carson show.

00:35:47.000 During commercials, Johnny would go under his desk, get a cigarette.

00:35:51.000 Yeah.

00:35:51.000 Well, they would often smoke on air.

00:35:53.000 They would do it all the time back then.

00:35:55.000 They all smoked cigarettes.

00:35:56.000 How about planes?

00:35:57.000 How about the fact that we could get on a plane to go to a gig and there was a row behind us where smoking began?

00:36:03.000 Right. 1.00

00:36:04.000 And I'm in the no smoking row and the bitch behind me got a cigar. 1.00

00:36:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:10.000 And it was just flooding the entire cabin.

00:36:12.000 Yes.

00:36:13.000 You know, Dice used to have a joke about it. 1.00

00:36:14.000 You're in a fucking tube. 1.00

00:36:17.000 Where's the air going? 1.00

00:36:18.000 Yeah.

00:36:19.000 But it was a weird time.

00:36:22.000 But the whole idea was what I was getting to is like late night television was very stiff.

00:36:29.000 It was, you know, it was like.

00:36:33.000 And then your show came around.

00:36:35.000 Paul Anker wrote that.

00:36:37.000 Oh, wow.

00:36:37.000 Did he?

00:36:37.000 Yeah.

00:36:39.000 Your show came around and then all of a sudden it was fun and loose.

00:36:43.000 And I remember when Clinton came on your show and Played the saxophone.

00:36:47.000 Yeah.

00:36:48.000 And I mean, everybody was like, what is happening? 1.00

00:36:51.000 The fucking president of the. 0.99

00:36:53.000 Was he the president back then? 1.00

00:36:54.000 Was he wrong?

00:36:55.000 He was a governor. 0.99

00:36:56.000 And he was trying to get the young vote, so he did me.

00:37:00.000 And then the next day, they decided to do MTV because I think what my show did that night was change how you run for the highest office in the land.

00:37:11.000 And look at that.

00:37:13.000 Look at that.

00:37:13.000 Yeah.

00:37:14.000 The joke I had just done was finally a Democrat blowing something other than the election.

00:37:22.000 When you look, you remember jokes in the moment.

00:37:25.000 And, dude, so what's interesting is after this, Presidential candidates realized they had to come to Rogan and Sunday morning to meet the press.

00:37:39.000 You know, and I like that.

00:37:42.000 You know, they have to go everywhere now.

00:37:45.000 Well, they go where the people are paying attention, right?

00:37:48.000 But it was different because if they did the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, it would be, you know, a very competent interview, but it would be stiff.

00:37:59.000 It was like very, I mean, not even stiff is not the right word, it was traditional.

00:38:04.000 It was like, this was different.

00:38:06.000 Like him playing the saxophone, running for president, playing the saxophone.

00:38:09.000 I was like, what is happening here?

00:38:11.000 And I tried to get, I told Jenna Bush this last week.

00:38:15.000 I'm on this book slinging tour.

00:38:18.000 And I told her, I said, I invited your grandpa.

00:38:21.000 Because back then, there was a mentality that you do equal both sides, you know?

00:38:28.000 And I don't think it was a rule, but first of all, my dad was a Republican, my mother was a Democrat.

00:38:35.000 So, I was used to hearing both sides and learning both sides.

00:38:38.000 And I thought the best thing I could do for young people is show them both sides.

00:38:42.000 And that would be fair of me as a host. 0.96

00:38:45.000 And we got a call from a man named Marlon Fitzwater who said, No fucking way we're coming there. 0.96

00:38:51.000 You know, and I wonder why. 0.96

00:38:55.000 It's almost like what you talk about with the desk.

00:38:59.000 Society at a certain point is stiff and it takes certain people to loosen it up and make a change.

00:39:05.000 And I think it was just, they're not used to it.

00:39:09.000 It's like, why are they barking?

00:39:12.000 And what is.

00:39:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:14.000 That's right.

00:39:15.000 Things that make you go, hmm.

00:39:16.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:39:17.000 Yeah, there was a lot going on.

00:39:18.000 I had a couple of hooks going.

00:39:20.000 Oh, you had a great hook.

00:39:21.000 The things that make you go, hmm, everybody used that all day long.

00:39:25.000 Like, if something weird was going on in the office, people are things that make you go, hmm.

00:39:30.000 It was so cool.

00:39:31.000 Then they wrote a song about it, and I would turn on TV and I would see.

00:39:34.000 Was that CNC Music Factory?

00:39:36.000 That's right.

00:39:36.000 Yes.

00:39:37.000 And I would turn on TV, and like Nordstrom's would have a sale that makes you go, hmm.

00:39:37.000 Yeah.

00:39:42.000 And I was like, that's very cool, you know.

00:39:46.000 And it came about sitting with the writers, and I had done it at the comedy store, and he says, you know, we could use that and just throw any joke in there, like randos that we don't know where to put.

00:40:00.000 And so it really was a.

00:40:00.000 Right.

00:40:02.000 A cheating technique for a comic.

00:40:04.000 Yeah, perfect non sequitur.

00:40:06.000 Just a transition. 1.00

00:40:07.000 Every now and then, hey, why don't black women breastfeed chocolate milk? 1.00

00:40:12.000 And you have no place else to put that thought. 1.00

00:40:15.000 Right.

00:40:16.000 So it's a stream of things that make you go, hmm.

00:40:20.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:22.000 Well, it was just finally there was a different kind of talk show.

00:40:26.000 It was like finally there was a talk show that was more fun.

00:40:29.000 Hey, the desk thing, my partner, And executive producer Marla Kel Brown.

00:40:37.000 We were sitting around one day, and she said, After coming to America, I had done the Joan Rivers thing.

00:40:42.000 I'd filled in for her for 11 weeks, and I think her husband committed suicide, and she was going through all that period, right?

00:40:50.000 Conan's creating the Wilton North Report in the room that I leave, and I go to Paramount, and she says, I'm asking you one thing.

00:40:58.000 She said, I watched you do stand up the other night at the comedy store.

00:41:04.000 There is a freedom that you have that I would like you to have on the talk show, and I don't think we can have it with that desk between you and the guest.

00:41:12.000 So I want you to just try without the desk.

00:41:15.000 And I tried it without the desk and never went back.

00:41:19.000 Yeah, you changed it.

00:41:22.000 I mean, like, and then George Lopez did No Desk when he did his show.

00:41:27.000 A few people have tried the No Desk thing.

00:41:29.000 But for us, I think it's great.

00:41:29.000 Yeah.

00:41:31.000 I was able, like, somebody like Rosie Perez, who would be nervous, I'd hold her hand.

00:41:31.000 And you know what?

00:41:38.000 And you can't reach across the desk and hold somebody's hand.

00:41:41.000 Well, also, the desk was always elevated.

00:41:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:41:43.000 You want to be high.

00:41:44.000 The desk is always above the guest.

00:41:45.000 We must be higher, which is weird.

00:41:47.000 Well, that's a bizarre.

00:41:50.000 I don't know if that's the ego of the entertainer. 0.94

00:41:52.000 Or whether that's some ass kissing prop set designer move, because we always wanted to be higher. 0.73

00:42:01.000 And I remember they put something under my seat. 0.94

00:42:04.000 So make your seat higher? 0.99

00:42:05.000 Yeah, so I'm sitting even with Kareem, which is bullshit. 0.94

00:42:11.000 Yeah, it's a weird thing. 0.97

00:42:14.000 It's like, why would the host be above movie stars and rock stars?

00:42:21.000 Why?

00:42:21.000 That doesn't make any sense at all.

00:42:23.000 Yeah, unless your host is David Bowie.

00:42:25.000 Yeah, right?

00:42:28.000 Unless he decides to do a talk show.

00:42:30.000 Even then, it doesn't make any sense.

00:42:31.000 It's like, if you want to have a conversation, the way you did it was the best way to do it.

00:42:36.000 Just be sitting there.

00:42:37.000 Yeah.

00:42:37.000 Sitting with each other, you know?

00:42:39.000 And now.

00:42:40.000 You can lean in.

00:42:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:42:42.000 Yeah.

00:42:43.000 You could touch the person.

00:42:44.000 Yeah.

00:42:45.000 Now, we have a different era where everyone can do talk.

00:42:52.000 I saw Mike Epps talking.

00:42:54.000 On his back from his bed the other day, holding his phone above him.

00:42:59.000 And that's when it hit me.

00:43:00.000 It's like, now we have a hard time finding a guest that doesn't have a show.

00:43:04.000 Right.

00:43:05.000 Anyone can have a show now.

00:43:07.000 Yeah.

00:43:08.000 And that's kind of cool.

00:43:09.000 It is kind of cool.

00:43:10.000 And it's just like, and you find your own, as long as you do it long enough and you put the right attention to it and do it honestly, you'll find your own lane.

00:43:21.000 You'll find your own way of doing things.

00:43:22.000 I have friends who have children who have shows.

00:43:26.000 Makeup tutorials and successful things going on in their bedroom.

00:43:30.000 One of the biggest shows on YouTube for a long time was a kid that was like unboxing toys.

00:43:36.000 Oh, that's cool.

00:43:37.000 And it was sort of, but then they started monetizing it. 0.99

00:43:40.000 And I think, you know, as soon as your parents start making all that money off of you opening toy boxes, shit gets weird. 0.98

00:43:46.000 It's weird for kids to get famous, period. 0.93

00:43:49.000 But it was just like no one had thought that out, like that there would be a lot of people that were interested in you watching toys.

00:43:58.000 Yeah.

00:43:59.000 There's a lot of shows that I watch on YouTube that it's just people cooking.

00:44:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:04.000 I love watching people cook. 1.00

00:44:05.000 I watch a lady cook with big titties and just an apron. 1.00

00:44:11.000 You know, side boobage be coming out. 1.00

00:44:14.000 That's a trick. 1.00

00:44:15.000 She's tricking you.

00:44:17.000 I like watching people cook with no talking.

00:44:19.000 It's just ASMR.

00:44:21.000 You know, just they're like chopping up the food and you hear the sizzle in the pan.

00:44:25.000 I don't know why I like it.

00:44:27.000 I love watching people do things.

00:44:28.000 Isn't it amazing that you're younger than I am, but.

00:44:32.000 When I was growing up in Cleveland, we had three channels.

00:44:35.000 I remember those days.

00:44:35.000 Right?

00:44:36.000 Yeah, and the shit signed off at two. 1.00

00:44:39.000 Right. 0.99

00:44:40.000 Yeah, you do that, And you fall asleep watching TV, and that would wake you up.

00:44:46.000 Yeah, because it would be just crackling.

00:44:48.000 Like, oh, geez, I stayed up too late.

00:44:50.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:44:50.000 You'd have to shut it off after the American flag. 0.98

00:44:52.000 Because the American flag would wave on the TV, right?

00:44:55.000 Yeah, there would be a match fade from a soldier to the American flag.

00:45:00.000 Yeah, and then it would just go static at two in the morning.

00:45:05.000 And then I remember when Fox came out.

00:45:07.000 And everybody's like, this channel is crazy.

00:45:10.000 Yeah.

00:45:11.000 Foxes, they have The Simpsons and Marriott.

00:45:13.000 It changed my life, man.

00:45:15.000 Those, Tracy Allman.

00:45:17.000 And then, of course.

00:45:17.000 Mm hmm.

00:45:19.000 They discovered that they could get numbers with me and Living Color.

00:45:24.000 And Fox was really important to us.

00:45:28.000 Fox was important to America.

00:45:30.000 I mean, it was a looser, wilder network.

00:45:34.000 It was like a network that was a little crazier. 0.58

00:45:37.000 They were doing things, they were getting nuts.

00:45:39.000 And they had to.

00:45:40.000 They had to take some chances and roll the dice in a different way.

00:45:42.000 Right.

00:45:43.000 Yeah.

00:45:44.000 And then cable came along.

00:45:45.000 It was like the slow descent into madness.

00:45:48.000 Yeah.

00:45:49.000 And then all of a sudden you have 150 channels, and now you have like, Literally, an infinite number of channels because of streaming and YouTube.

00:45:49.000 Yeah.

00:45:56.000 It's like you can never run out of things to look at. 0.98

00:46:00.000 Which is crazy because I turn a lot and I'm like, yo, motherfucker, they got two million stations and you channel chasing? 0.99

00:46:08.000 You can't find something? 0.99

00:46:09.000 But.

00:46:11.000 I'm a big YouTube guy because I don't like commercials.

00:46:15.000 I want what I want and I want it in small increments.

00:46:17.000 I actually, as a 70 year old, fit more into this culture than I did the culture I was born into.

00:46:24.000 I like things for three minutes. 0.96

00:46:26.000 It's fucked me up too. 1.00

00:46:28.000 I don't want long shit. 1.00

00:46:30.000 I want quick shit. 1.00

00:46:31.000 And I'm jumping around. 0.99

00:46:34.000 Well, when I'm watching TV, I'm generally trying to check out, or I'm trying to be educated.

00:46:41.000 So either I'm watching some.

00:46:44.000 Like particle physicists talk about the way they find new particles by using particle colliders and large hadron colliders and the amount of energy required to duplicate the conditions that happened right after the Big Bang. 0.97

00:47:02.000 I watch a lot of that shit and then I just watch people play pool. 0.91

00:47:05.000 I watch people play pool and I watch people make furniture and people cook. 1.00

00:47:12.000 I'm just trying to unwind.

00:47:14.000 I was trying to relax.

00:47:15.000 But that's so heavy.

00:47:16.000 I heard you and Kat talking about the pyramids.

00:47:21.000 And as a matter of fact, it was part of the reason I was afraid to come here.

00:47:27.000 Because I've heard you talk about the re explosion of. 0.99

00:47:32.000 It's just when you hear that kind of shit and you're like, I don't want to be here. 1.00

00:47:36.000 It's like, pussy, crazy, huh? 1.00

00:47:39.000 I don't want to be that guy. 1.00

00:47:42.000 So it's intimidating to watch intelligent people have an exchange and say, I got to go there.

00:47:48.000 Is it?

00:47:49.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:47:51.000 You don't want to be the first idiot in the room. 1.00

00:47:53.000 Nobody wants to. 1.00

00:47:53.000 Oh, you definitely wouldn't be the first idiot on this show. 1.00

00:47:56.000 And you're not an idiot anyway, but there's been plenty of really fucking dumb people on this show that were great. 1.00

00:48:02.000 But do you know somebody that is really intelligent? 1.00

00:48:05.000 And conversation with them is intimidating.

00:48:07.000 Oh, sure.

00:48:08.000 So I was afraid of this room.

00:48:09.000 I mean, I know people like Bill Clinton.

00:48:12.000 The first time I sat and talked to Bill Clinton, not on the air, or the second time, I guess I should say, it was kind of daunting because he, no matter what your politics is, he's a really smart guy.

00:48:26.000 Cat Williams is the same way.

00:48:26.000 Yeah.

00:48:28.000 That motherfucker reads a lot more books than I read. 1.00

00:48:31.000 Well, Cat's brilliant. 1.00

00:48:33.000 I mean, you can't be that funny and not be very intelligent.

00:48:37.000 It's the reason Bill Cosby was so funny.

00:48:39.000 He was a bright man.

00:48:40.000 Uh oh.

00:48:41.000 Uh oh.

00:48:45.000 That's a problematic subject.

00:48:48.000 Also, Bill Clinton.

00:48:49.000 I wish Bill Clinton didn't have so many problems because I would like to talk to him.

00:48:53.000 I would love to sit down with him on a podcast. 0.99

00:48:57.000 The problem is how do you sit down and not talk about all the chaos and all the nutty shit and the Epstein files and all the other shit? 0.99

00:49:05.000 You kind of almost have to talk about it. 0.98

00:49:08.000 It's too bad because I think he's a fascinating person.

00:49:11.000 And I think.

00:49:12.000 He's one of the greatest presidents of all time, for sure.

00:49:15.000 And if you go back and look at what he accomplished during his administration, they balanced the budget. 0.72

00:49:21.000 It was like one of the first times in the history of this fucking country that we didn't have a gigantic debt. 0.90

00:49:26.000 Now our debt's like $39 trillion. 0.99

00:49:29.000 It's crazy.

00:49:31.000 Everybody's so bad at balancing the budget.

00:49:33.000 And you go back and listen to him talk when he was running for president, he's like super sensible.

00:49:38.000 Like everything he said made sense.

00:49:40.000 And didn't he move a little to the right?

00:49:42.000 Well, I mean, it wasn't to the right.

00:49:44.000 It was just sensible.

00:49:46.000 Like, what is to the right and what is to the left?

00:49:48.000 It doesn't mean anything to the left.

00:49:49.000 It's accepting that a lot of things are valuable that are not a part of your party's philosophy.

00:49:57.000 I think we have to be willing to compromise and move a little bit.

00:50:02.000 And that goes for all politicians.

00:50:04.000 We have to be able to move a little bit to be logical and serve all of America.

00:50:09.000 But I think the problem is parties all have to agree.

00:50:09.000 For sure.

00:50:13.000 And then they form ideologies that you cannot stray from.

00:50:17.000 So if you're one of those people that says, like, hey, maybe an open border is a bad idea because terrorists can come through, like, oh, no, no one's illegal on stolen land.

00:50:29.000 Everybody gets crazy because there's a party line that you have to stick with.

00:50:32.000 This is today.

00:50:34.000 Today, things are incredibly polarizing.

00:50:36.000 But if you go back and listen to some of the things that Clinton was saying when he was running for president and when he was president, boy, these are like almost right wing talking points.

00:50:45.000 In a lot of ways.

00:50:46.000 But they're not.

00:50:47.000 But it's not really right wing.

00:50:48.000 But it's not really right wing.

00:50:50.000 It's just sensible.

00:50:52.000 Like, what is right and what is left?

00:50:54.000 Left used to be, first of all, freedom of speech was of paramount importance.

00:51:00.000 It used to be that they were very open minded.

00:51:03.000 It used to be like the.

00:51:05.000 That education was of crucial importance and that discourse was crucially important and that you have to look out for citizens in the sense of like having social safety nets and having.

00:51:17.000 Welfare programs and food stamps and all those things are which are really important for a society because not everybody is in the same position in life.

00:51:25.000 And if we're a community of people, which is what a country is supposed to be, you're supposed to look out for everyone.

00:51:31.000 You know, that's sensible.

00:51:33.000 That's what the left used to be. 0.91

00:51:34.000 And then it became trans women are women. 0.99

00:51:37.000 Men can get pregnant.

00:51:39.000 And by the way, when you deal with left and right, you have to almost attach a year because we've seen parties change. 0.69

00:51:50.000 Always reminded that the Democratic Party was the party of the Klan if you go far enough back.

00:51:56.000 So I'm a Republican. 0.76

00:51:59.000 I have to look at it all.

00:52:00.000 But wasn't Lincoln a Republican?

00:52:04.000 I believe Lincoln was a Republican.

00:52:06.000 I think the Republicans were the ones who were trying to abolish slavery.

00:52:11.000 There's a lot of weird things that shift back and forth, and that you think of right wing and left wing in today's standards.

00:52:20.000 Like, we were playing a clip of Hillary Clinton the other day when she was running for president.

00:52:24.000 I think it was 2008 or 2012?

00:52:27.000 Eight. 0.99

00:52:28.000 When she was running for president, she's like, if you're here illegal from another country, you should have to pay a stiff penalty.

00:52:37.000 You should have to learn English, and if you have any criminal history whatsoever, no questions asked.

00:52:44.000 You get out of the country.

00:52:45.000 And everyone was cheering. 0.93

00:52:47.000 The lady's MAGA.

00:52:48.000 That sounds completely MAGA.

00:52:50.000 That's why I say when you deal with Democrat, Republican, you have to attach a year because it's evolved and changed many times.

00:52:55.000 Well, it's all you're just being manipulated.

00:52:57.000 And you've been manipulated by these two teams, and you have to pick a team.

00:53:02.000 You have to decide which team you want.

00:53:04.000 I hate that. 1.00

00:53:05.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

00:53:06.000 I'm politically homeless. 1.00

00:53:08.000 I've always been politically homeless for a long fucking time. 0.97

00:53:11.000 Neither one of them makes any sense to me. 0.96

00:53:13.000 We need a logical, centrist government that just says there's a lot of things that we should do to make this country a better place.

00:53:23.000 We can do these things and we don't have to attach them to left or right.

00:53:27.000 Anything that the left says that's logical, the people on the right immediately dismiss it because it's coming from the left.

00:53:34.000 That happens the same where the left does it to the people on the right. 1.00

00:53:37.000 It's dumb. 0.99

00:53:38.000 It's a team thing. 0.99

00:53:39.000 It's like the Dolphins versus the Raiders. 1.00

00:53:41.000 You pick a fucking team and you lay that team aside. 1.00

00:53:43.000 What a horrible game, by the way. 1.00

00:53:47.000 You pick a team and your team rules, and the other team sucks. 0.98

00:53:50.000 And there's a lot of people out there that are not that open minded and they love a good, rigid ideology that they could adhere to. 0.65

00:54:00.000 So now I don't have to think for myself.

00:54:02.000 I have a predetermined pattern of opinions that I could just adopt, and I'll just accept those.

00:54:08.000 And that's how I think, and that's what I'm going to argue with.

00:54:11.000 When I was young, I used to, in some jokes, say my heart is Democratic, but my wallet is Republican.

00:54:20.000 Yeah.

00:54:20.000 But it's not even that simple anymore.

00:54:22.000 It's gotten much more complicated.

00:54:24.000 Yeah, much, much more complicated.

00:54:26.000 It's like everyone should be anti fraud, whether you're on the left or on the right.

00:54:31.000 Or unless you're committing fraud, then I'm pro me.

00:54:36.000 Yeah.

00:54:36.000 Well, I think a lot of people that are certainly benefiting from fraud would like to dismiss it.

00:54:41.000 Whether it's the left or the right.

00:54:43.000 Yeah.

00:54:43.000 There's like, we have a problem in this country where we have a two party system.

00:54:47.000 Two party systems are inherently flawed because there's no fucking way that one side is going to represent you entirely.

00:54:55.000 And it's much more likely if you have like five, 10, 15 different parties that are all legitimate because we don't have another legitimate party. 1.00

00:55:03.000 If you vote for libertarian and I've voted libertarian before, you're basically saying, fuck these people. 1.00

00:55:08.000 You know, fuck these people. 1.00

00:55:10.000 I'm voting. 1.00

00:55:10.000 You're jacking up the Dolphin Raider game. 1.00

00:55:13.000 Yeah.

00:55:16.000 I'm voting for rugby.

00:55:16.000 Yeah.

00:55:17.000 Yeah.

00:55:18.000 That's what you're basically saying. 1.00

00:55:19.000 You're like, I can't get behind either one of these motherfuckers, so I'm going to vote for this guy who has no chance. 1.00

00:55:25.000 You know? 1.00

00:55:26.000 And I've done that before.

00:55:27.000 I did that with Joe Jorgensen.

00:55:29.000 I did that with Gary Johnson.

00:55:31.000 I voted for both of them.

00:55:32.000 But why do you think we've not been able to come up with legitimate third, fourth, and fifth parties?

00:55:39.000 Well, they got it locked down.

00:55:40.000 They've got it locked down.

00:55:42.000 It's with donations and money?

00:55:43.000 Yeah, it's money.

00:55:44.000 Money and politics.

00:55:46.000 When they allowed corporations to just essentially give as much as they feel like it, Like, and when corporations and not just corporations, but other countries, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

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00:56:07.000 And honestly, one of the biggest difference makers isn't some perfect budget, it's having a solid support system when things feel heavy.

00:56:18.000 And if that support system includes therapy, even better.

00:56:22.000 Because while it can't solve your money problems, it can change your relationship with finances.

00:56:29.000 It can help you manage the stress, anxiety, and maybe even any shame you feel around money.

00:56:35.000 A good place to find a quality therapist is BetterHelp.

00:56:39.000 Plus, they do a lot of the work for you.

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00:57:11.000 That's betterhelp.comslash jre.

00:57:16.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:18.000 It's not good.

00:57:19.000 It's not good.

00:57:20.000 Money in politics is the real problem.

00:57:22.000 You know, it should, you know, the whole thing, it's a mess.

00:57:25.000 And then you find out how much money politicians make.

00:57:28.000 While TSA guys have nothing.

00:57:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:57:30.000 And politicians are still getting a motherfucking check? 0.99

00:57:33.000 Yes, exactly. 0.99

00:57:34.000 Well, I felt that way also about the lockdowns in California.

00:57:38.000 I was like, all these people that are saying that you should have no outdoor dining, your paycheck should be entirely dependent on the GDP of your city. 0.98

00:57:45.000 And if your city starts suffering, you should fucking suffer. 0.94

00:57:48.000 And I guarantee you want those businesses to open right the fuck back up because it didn't make any sense. 0.99

00:57:53.000 They were doing things for optics only. 0.69

00:57:55.000 And they were doing things because they like control.

00:57:58.000 People love control.

00:57:59.000 They love it.

00:58:00.000 And once you give them power over people, they're in the control business.

00:58:03.000 They like to keep that control.

00:58:04.000 And it just gets gross.

00:58:06.000 And they don't have any, there's no repercussions.

00:58:09.000 They don't get in trouble.

00:58:10.000 If all these, like, California loves it. 0.99

00:58:12.000 Somebody should be in trouble for the Epstein Fouts. 0.98

00:58:14.000 Somebody.

00:58:15.000 At least one person, please?

00:58:17.000 Yes.

00:58:17.000 It's crazy that we're sitting around looking at that.

00:58:20.000 It's crazy. 0.97

00:58:21.000 And we know it and we say it, but ain't a motherfucking thing we can do about it. 0.97

00:58:25.000 Right. 0.62

00:58:26.000 Right now, there's some talk about journalists getting in trouble for leaking information about the downed pilot and that they want to prosecute these journalists. 0.51

00:58:37.000 At the same time, no one's being prosecuted for the Epstein files. 0.59

00:58:41.000 Yeah. 0.85

00:58:42.000 That's nuts. 1.00

00:58:43.000 That's a sick society. 0.96

00:58:45.000 As a kid, I did magic, right?

00:58:48.000 And there's a thing in magic.

00:58:51.000 If I take a coin and put it in this hand, there's a thing called misdirection.

00:58:54.000 That's what I just did to you. 0.99

00:58:55.000 You looked at that hand, I'm doing some shit right here. 0.99

00:58:58.000 Right. 0.99

00:58:58.000 That's. 0.99

00:58:59.000 The story of American politics.

00:59:00.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:01.000 Whenever something weird's going on.

00:59:03.000 Look, when Monica Lewinsky, when Bill Clinton got caught with Monica Lewinsky, they mean to start bombing some other countries.

00:59:09.000 They're like, we've got to distract these people.

00:59:11.000 This is just too complicated.

00:59:13.000 Yeah. 0.90

00:59:13.000 Look, the Epstein files come out, we go to war with Iran. 0.90

00:59:16.000 It's a good way to get people to stop talking about certain things. 0.62

00:59:20.000 You give them a new problem to think about.

00:59:22.000 Hey, this morning I wake up in a very nice hotel, thanks to you. 1.00

00:59:26.000 Breakfast was paid for, the tip was done, all that shit. 0.99

00:59:29.000 It was kind of cool. 0.98

00:59:31.000 And I was nervous and I'm thinking, I'm nervous.

00:59:37.000 To go see my guy and talk, which is insane.

00:59:40.000 But then, you know, sometimes you try to focus on why you're really nervous.

00:59:43.000 Why am I so nervous?

00:59:45.000 And I realized it wasn't just coming here.

00:59:47.000 I had watched about a half hour of news and it was making my stomach hurt.

00:59:53.000 Yeah.

00:59:53.000 Because I feel so sad on a lot of levels.

00:59:57.000 And anxiety.

00:59:58.000 Yes, yes.

00:59:59.000 News just gives me anxiety.

01:00:01.000 But I gotta, as a comic, I gotta watch because I gotta know everything.

01:00:05.000 I gotta have that mental Rolodex loaded for crowd work or whatever.

01:00:11.000 You have to know what's going on in the world, unfortunately.

01:00:14.000 If I wasn't a comic, I would have no social media.

01:00:17.000 I would never consume the news.

01:00:19.000 I would just hide.

01:00:20.000 I would just go to a peaceful place. 0.97

01:00:23.000 I'd probably have a place in the mountains somewhere and just fucking chill. 0.99

01:00:26.000 I would not want to have anything to do with any of this bullshit that's going on in the world. 0.99

01:00:30.000 And I know a lot of people say, oh, you have to participate and this and that. 0.97

01:00:33.000 Man, yeah, I guess.

01:00:36.000 But I don't think your participation is having the kind of effect that you'd like it to have.

01:00:41.000 I think it's having an effect on the way you think and feel.

01:00:44.000 Much more, like a disproportionate effect on your mental health and your anxiety levels, and all these different things that you cannot control by paying attention to it. 0.99

01:00:52.000 You can't control what these fucking people are doing. 1.00

01:00:55.000 And it just drives you nuts. 1.00

01:00:58.000 It's frustrating because we realize, I mean, you and I are both millionaires, you a lot more than me.

01:01:04.000 But.

01:01:05.000 At the same time, we realize we don't have enough money to really affect it.

01:01:09.000 I mean, you.

01:01:11.000 You can affect some things, I guess.

01:01:13.000 Yeah, now that I think about it.

01:01:14.000 I don't want to.

01:01:15.000 I don't want to affect.

01:01:18.000 If I can affect things in a positive way, I can.

01:01:20.000 Yeah, I mean, there's some things that I'd like to do.

01:01:22.000 You can affect things by dispersing information of candidates and helping to inform people.

01:01:28.000 But that kind of money that you have to have to have a dinner in Malibu and later. 0.90

01:01:36.000 Get some shit done that you want to get done because the president is your guy now? 0.92

01:01:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:41.000 Or girl?

01:01:42.000 It's very complicated.

01:01:43.000 Yeah.

01:01:44.000 And that kind of complication comes with a lot of scrutiny and a lot of weirdness.

01:01:49.000 And also, you don't really know these people.

01:01:52.000 You support people for running for president or governor or mayor or whatever.

01:01:57.000 How much do you know them?

01:01:59.000 Are you really sure?

01:02:02.000 Is there no good option?

01:02:03.000 So you go with the least evil option?

01:02:06.000 Well, a lot of us do that.

01:02:07.000 And that's really painful.

01:02:10.000 To think that the lesser of two evils is a horrible thing as a philosophy for a place we raise our children.

01:02:17.000 Right.

01:02:17.000 Yeah.

01:02:18.000 There's no one person that really comes along.

01:02:20.000 We're like, finally.

01:02:22.000 Like a peaceful, God loving person who's just looking out for everybody's best interest who really only wants to do this because they think they can affect change. 0.98

01:02:29.000 And then once they do try to affect change, they get fucking shot because nobody really wants that because they're all making money. 0.95

01:02:35.000 When we were coming up, remember the Sam Kennison bit? 0.99

01:02:39.000 Which bit?

01:02:40.000 I think it was very similar to that. 1.00

01:02:43.000 People who have an idea, we kill them. 0.98

01:02:44.000 Oh, that was Bill Hicks. 1.00

01:02:45.000 Oh, it was Hicks.

01:02:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:46.000 Yeah.

01:02:48.000 Hicks had a great bit about that.

01:02:50.000 Yeah.

01:02:50.000 And it's totally true.

01:02:51.000 I mean, anybody that really wants to rock the apple cart, like that person's a problem, you know? 0.94

01:02:57.000 And all these people that are making, all these sociopaths that are making fucking billions of dollars just being cunts, they do not want you coming along and waking people up to that and saying, hey, we should put a stop to all this. 0.95

01:03:09.000 We should, you know, We should stop these people from making like that's why people cheered when that guy got shot. 0.99

01:03:15.000 The United Healthcare guy, he got shot.

01:03:18.000 People were happy, they were happy. 1.00

01:03:20.000 Like, finally, at first, I thought it was, I thought homie who shot him, I thought it was his eyebrows, you know, because women were going crazy. 0.89

01:03:26.000 You know, he's a hot guy, yeah, he's a good looking guy, too. 0.85

01:03:28.000 It was like perfect guy to be like a martyr, like an assassin.

01:03:33.000 But by the way, have you noticed throughout history, good looking people get treated differently when it comes to the justice system? 0.86

01:03:41.000 They've done experimental trials where the hot guy gets off.

01:03:45.000 For murder, easy. 0.96

01:03:47.000 Because 11 women were cool with it. 1.00

01:03:51.000 Well, women are weird with killers. 1.00

01:03:54.000 When guys are even serial killers, when they go to jail, women always get great letters, proposals. 1.00

01:04:00.000 Weird. 1.00

01:04:01.000 Marry me.

01:04:02.000 Yeah, even like Richard Ramirez was getting all these proposals while he was in jail. 1.00

01:04:06.000 But the ultimate game for a woman is to be married but not have to live with that motherfucker. 0.99

01:04:11.000 So that might be kind of cool. 1.00

01:04:15.000 I don't know what it is.

01:04:15.000 Kind of.

01:04:17.000 I heard someone talk about that, saying that there's women that like men that are capable of killing.

01:04:23.000 Because back in the day, it was if someone was, if you needed someone to protect you, you didn't want someone that would hesitate if they were going to kill someone.

01:04:34.000 You wanted someone who has experience killing people.

01:04:37.000 So it's almost like an attractive trait that someone's willing to cross that terrible line and just has no problem murdering people.

01:04:44.000 And if they like you, they won't murder you, but they'll murder other people.

01:04:48.000 Like anybody that's a problem.

01:04:49.000 I knew a girl who went out with a couple friends of mine. 1.00

01:04:53.000 And her MO was to do something publicly that would make the man whip somebody's ass to defend her honor or something. 0.99

01:05:01.000 Oh. 0.98

01:05:02.000 And she, because that made her feel better. 1.00

01:05:06.000 That's a crazy bitch. 1.00

01:05:08.000 I've been around people like that before. 1.00

01:05:09.000 I always got rid of them real quick. 1.00

01:05:11.000 I've had a few ladies like that. 1.00

01:05:13.000 You gonna let him say that to me? 1.00

01:05:14.000 You know, I'd be like, why'd you say that to him? 1.00

01:05:17.000 Don't get me involved in this stupid shit. 1.00

01:05:19.000 But it's hard, man. 1.00

01:05:20.000 I was in a club as a young man on Sunset.

01:05:23.000 Left the comedy store, went down the street to a place called Carlos and Charlie's.

01:05:26.000 And back then they had.

01:05:29.000 This garment called a tube top.

01:05:31.000 It was just an elastic piece about eight inches, depending on your breast. 1.00

01:05:37.000 And I watched a dude take his finger and just pull the girl's tube top down, titties fell out.

01:05:44.000 And I'm watching her man.

01:05:47.000 He didn't know what to do, you know, because you don't want to fight these guys.

01:05:52.000 You almost want to just say, baby, just put up your top, let's go home.

01:05:56.000 But he had to fight.

01:05:57.000 Yeah.

01:05:58.000 And in that situation, I think you have to fight.

01:06:03.000 You just definitely shouldn't be there in the first place.

01:06:05.000 That's the problem with going to clubs.

01:06:07.000 You're at the wrong club.

01:06:09.000 Running into the potential psychopath is just too, like, that's where they go. 0.99

01:06:15.000 Where people act like cunts, that's where they go. 0.90

01:06:18.000 When is the last time you went to a club? 0.96

01:06:19.000 I never go to clubs.

01:06:21.000 It's been a long time for me. 1.00

01:06:22.000 I mean, there is no club for 70 year olds.

01:06:25.000 No, no, no.

01:06:25.000 That's called ARP.

01:06:26.000 Well, if you do go, it's sad.

01:06:28.000 Yeah, you don't want to be the oldest.

01:06:30.000 Go out to the bar. 1.00

01:06:31.000 Hey, ladies. 1.00

01:06:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:06:32.000 What is fucking grandpa doing here? 0.99

01:06:34.000 But do kids dance now? 1.00

01:06:37.000 That's a good question.

01:06:38.000 My son has.

01:06:39.000 Like, I remember a time when you say, I'm doing the Cabbage Patch now.

01:06:43.000 You know, it's like you knew what the latest dance was.

01:06:45.000 My son never dances.

01:06:47.000 I've taken him to New Year's Eve parties.

01:06:50.000 He never, during the slow record, says to a girl, You want to dance.

01:06:53.000 You know, you go out and slow dance. 1.00

01:06:55.000 What happened to that shit? 1.00

01:06:56.000 That's true, right? 1.00

01:06:57.000 Well, because clubs got associated with violence.

01:07:00.000 Like, clubs get associated with people getting drunk, they're doing drugs and chaos and people getting shot, you know?

01:07:07.000 Yeah.

01:07:08.000 There's just too much of that going on.

01:07:10.000 You hear about that at concerts, too.

01:07:11.000 But yeah, you're right.

01:07:13.000 There's no new dances, there's no things that you have to learn.

01:07:17.000 You know?

01:07:18.000 But you know what's replaced it?

01:07:19.000 Maybe the entire family on TikTok.

01:07:22.000 Right.

01:07:23.000 TikTok has definitely got dances that you've got to learn.

01:07:25.000 Oh, really?

01:07:26.000 That's all it is.

01:07:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:27.000 Oh, really?

01:07:28.000 I mean, for people that are.

01:07:29.000 Right, that's where the dances are.

01:07:30.000 That's where the dances are.

01:07:32.000 They're not going to clubs.

01:07:32.000 They're just doing.

01:07:33.000 This one song just got viral again because they're dancing The Freak on a Leash.

01:07:37.000 It's a 25 year old song that has got a dance to it.

01:07:40.000 What's the dance?

01:07:41.000 Show me the dance.

01:07:42.000 Couldn't even begin to start it.

01:07:45.000 Get up here and do it.

01:07:46.000 I can show you the video.

01:07:47.000 You've been practicing?

01:07:47.000 You do it.

01:07:48.000 No.

01:07:49.000 I used to.

01:07:51.000 Show me the video.

01:07:52.000 What's the corn dance?

01:07:53.000 In my head, you're like, get up and do it.

01:07:56.000 Do we have to not play the music?

01:07:57.000 Yeah, probably not play the music.

01:07:59.000 So, this is the dance?

01:08:00.000 See, it's a new day.

01:08:02.000 You don't go to a club, you do it with your girl at the club.

01:08:05.000 I think they made it back on Billboard because, you know, like the song is.

01:08:08.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:08:09.000 It's got so many plays on it.

01:08:11.000 That's hilarious.

01:08:12.000 1998.

01:08:13.000 That's old.

01:08:14.000 Wow, that's crazy.

01:08:17.000 So, I don't know.

01:08:18.000 And then, to contrast, this is the club in Austin where everybody goes.

01:08:22.000 They're not necessarily doing those.

01:08:23.000 What club is this?

01:08:23.000 Dances.

01:08:24.000 This is called the Concourse.

01:08:25.000 Oh, see, I can't go to a club with no shirt on.

01:08:29.000 And what do they do here?

01:08:30.000 Like DJs.

01:08:32.000 Oh, DJs.

01:08:33.000 So they just bounce around.

01:08:34.000 Bunch of lasers.

01:08:35.000 Yeah, this is like a jazzy Jeff concert.

01:08:38.000 Yeah.

01:08:39.000 Jazzy Jeff.

01:08:40.000 Yeah, they just bounce around.

01:08:43.000 They're all in ecstasy.

01:08:44.000 Everybody stares at the DJ stage like they're performing music.

01:08:47.000 How weird.

01:08:48.000 Man, this is a sign of a sick culture. 0.61

01:08:51.000 Not that there's anything wrong with that. 1.00

01:08:52.000 A different culture.

01:08:54.000 But that there's no other thing.

01:08:56.000 There's no like people dancing, you know?

01:08:59.000 In the old days.

01:08:59.000 Yeah.

01:09:00.000 Like, if you go back and you watch like nightclubs from like the 1960s and 70s, what was everybody like in the disco days, right?

01:09:06.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:09:07.000 When Trump was singing, burn this mother down, right? 0.98

01:09:07.000 That's perfect. 0.98

01:09:11.000 Yeah.

01:09:13.000 Yeah.

01:09:13.000 People were dancing.

01:09:15.000 Well, I remember when I was a kid, Saturday Night Fever, rather, came out.

01:09:20.000 Ooh. 0.97

01:09:21.000 And that's when everybody wanted to learn how to dance because John Travolta, he could fucking dance and they would have dance offs. 0.99

01:09:28.000 And black people were saying, We got to step up the game if this boy can do that. 0.99

01:09:32.000 Right. 0.66

01:09:33.000 You know, so we had to get better.

01:09:34.000 Right.

01:09:35.000 And then you had Soul Train, right?

01:09:36.000 Saturday morning.

01:09:37.000 Saturday morning was dancing on TV.

01:09:39.000 Yes.

01:09:39.000 Yeah.

01:09:40.000 Saturday morning was, that was life for me.

01:09:44.000 There's no shows where there's like a bunch of people performing music on TV anymore.

01:09:51.000 Well, that's the gap between me and you as talkers.

01:09:57.000 One of the problems I had, and I talk in the book about this, I love music, and I grew up wanting to do that show.

01:10:04.000 So, when they start telling me, you know, you can get better numbers with Howie Mandel just talking than you can with this, because I put boys to men and the temptations together once.

01:10:18.000 I had to fly boys to men from Philly. 0.94

01:10:20.000 I had, you know, and they wanted it less black. 0.98

01:10:23.000 And now I got 14 brothers doing choreography, you know, and it's like, no, that's not what I wanted.

01:10:27.000 They wanted it less black? 1.00

01:10:29.000 Well, they would say shit like that to you? 1.00

01:10:30.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:10:31.000 They wanted, this is the carrot.

01:10:35.000 They said, we know Johnny's going to leave one day.

01:10:39.000 You know, you always think it's going to be two years.

01:10:42.000 So you can inherit his audience if you do the right show.

01:10:45.000 But I, Joe, I used to do the talk show in my basement, man, and we put on a Temptations record.

01:10:51.000 And my friend Junior would be my guest, and he would sing Get Ready on Soul Train.

01:10:56.000 They lip sync.

01:10:57.000 We knew the microphones weren't plugged in.

01:10:59.000 And so he would sing, and then I'd interview him.

01:11:02.000 I wanted to do that show.

01:11:03.000 You were doing that when you were young?

01:11:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:06.000 How old were you when you were doing that?

01:11:08.000 Really?

01:11:08.000 11.

01:11:09.000 Yeah, my mother would have rent parties, and so she'd rent these card tables and chairs.

01:11:16.000 And the people, like in LA, we call it town and country, right?

01:11:19.000 You can rent stuff for your party.

01:11:21.000 So the next day, they come and pick up the stuff in the truck.

01:11:24.000 But before they'd pick it up, I would do a talk show with that stuff.

01:11:28.000 And I dreamed of everything that I did eventually in my life.

01:11:33.000 Wow.

01:11:34.000 And it was the show I wanted to do.

01:11:37.000 So at a certain point, when they say, Does Prince need a purple piano?

01:11:44.000 I said, Yeah, he wants a purple piano.

01:11:46.000 And the show I was doing was just too expensive.

01:11:49.000 And you and I talked once at the Ice House when I tried to do the reboot show.

01:11:54.000 Yeah.

01:11:54.000 And I was telling you how complicated it was.

01:11:57.000 Twitter site, they took your. 0.99

01:11:59.000 I was telling people, they took over your fucking social media and they wouldn't give it back. 0.98

01:12:03.000 Yeah, it was hard to get back. 0.99

01:12:04.000 That's crazy.

01:12:05.000 I remember you telling me that. 0.99

01:12:07.000 We were standing outside the outside area of the Ice House and you were like, I can't get my fucking social media back. 0.98

01:12:12.000 I'm like, that's crazy. 0.98

01:12:13.000 They took your social media.

01:12:14.000 Yeah.

01:12:15.000 And they would use it to promote other shows.

01:12:17.000 Absolutely.

01:12:18.000 And the end of that reboot experience didn't go down exactly the way I wanted to.

01:12:24.000 Like, I got picked up first and Jay Leno came out and read a letter from Les Moonvez that I was picked up for a second season.

01:12:31.000 And then we start talking about the second season.

01:12:34.000 And here's the great thing.

01:12:36.000 They wanted you really got to stop doing the music.

01:12:40.000 As a matter of fact, how about No House Band?

01:12:43.000 And this interesting one, but economically speaking, Joe, when I look at it, they wanted me to do Joe Rogan before there was a Joe Rogan.

01:12:51.000 They just want you to talk to people and stop.

01:12:53.000 I watched Fallon with Will Smith one night, and Will Smith rode in on a horse.

01:12:59.000 And I'm like, that's expensive.

01:13:02.000 They wanted me to do what we're doing right now because this is cheaper to do.

01:13:07.000 I would love for us to have a hip hop star here right now following me.

01:13:14.000 But this is economically sound.

01:13:16.000 It's a new day.

01:13:17.000 Right.

01:13:18.000 So that's all it was?

01:13:19.000 It was just a money thing?

01:13:20.000 They just.

01:13:22.000 Well, that was the reboot show.

01:13:23.000 The first show, you know, if they want me to be in the position to inherit Johnny's audience, because that's.

01:13:31.000 They wanted me and themselves to make more money, a lot of money, keep making money.

01:13:38.000 And I was kind of kicking the bag because.

01:13:43.000 I had wanted to do this show since I was a kid.

01:13:45.000 I couldn't imagine.

01:13:46.000 But meanwhile, the thing is, your show was so popular.

01:13:49.000 And by the way, they got numbers one night when Whitney didn't sing.

01:13:53.000 She just came on.

01:13:55.000 And that was the kiss of death in my morning meetings because they were like, look, Whitney sang nothing.

01:14:01.000 And look at the numbers.

01:14:03.000 So they were shooting for the Joe Rogan experience before there wasn't experience. 1.00

01:14:08.000 Fucking people concentrate on the numbers. 0.99

01:14:10.000 It's like you're missing the tree. 1.00

01:14:12.000 You got to, Joe.

01:14:13.000 Sometimes it's really important for me to look back and say, I love that show that I did, and I don't regret a moment of it, but I get a corporate organization saying we can make more money and we can get more people in.

01:14:33.000 Yeah, if I was a corporate, I would be a terrible corporate executive, by the way.

01:14:37.000 Because you would leave it with your heart.

01:14:39.000 Yeah, I would say, just be you.

01:14:41.000 Just have fun.

01:14:42.000 And whatever ads we get, we get.

01:14:44.000 Whatever money we get, we get.

01:14:46.000 You get plenty, it'll be fine.

01:14:46.000 And that's good.

01:14:49.000 You can't, you gotta let it.

01:14:53.000 I feel like every show has to be a unique expression of the person that's hosting it and what they're trying to do.

01:15:01.000 Like, let that person be free.

01:15:03.000 Like, can you imagine if Quentin Tarantino had a sit down with a group of people?

01:15:07.000 That were executives before he wrote a script. 0.99

01:15:11.000 You would never get any of these fucking chaotic, crazy movies. 0.99

01:15:15.000 They'd be like, no, you can't bash a woman's head on a mantelpiece. 1.00

01:15:19.000 That's nuts. 0.63

01:15:19.000 Like, don't do that. 0.63

01:15:20.000 No, you can't, you know, like in Jackie Brown. 1.00

01:15:23.000 No, you can't fucking shoot that girl in the parking lot. 1.00

01:15:25.000 That's nuts. 1.00

01:15:26.000 You can't do that.

01:15:27.000 You can't do any of these things.

01:15:28.000 You've got to let someone just be free.

01:15:32.000 And then it finds its audience.

01:15:34.000 Yeah.

01:15:35.000 I remember when Ice T came on to explain Cop Killer and his way of explaining.

01:15:42.000 By the way, yeah, yeah, and it was a metal band, yeah.

01:15:46.000 People don't realize that, like Ice T, people forgot Body Count was a metal band, yeah.

01:15:51.000 You gotta search that, yo, right?

01:15:53.000 A lot of people don't even know that he did that. 0.97

01:15:56.000 You think of Ice T, you think of Six in the Morning, you think of you know, Hustler, you think of all those classic songs, colors, you think of that, you don't think of Body Count, which is like Ice T reinvented himself, and he was like, I always love this kind of music, you can't tell me what the fuck I do.

01:16:14.000 I like this kind of music too.

01:16:17.000 Amazing career.

01:16:18.000 And now he plays a cop for like 25 years.

01:16:18.000 I know.

01:16:21.000 How about that for irony? 0.94

01:16:23.000 I knew him when he was a pimp.

01:16:25.000 And now he's a cop. 0.58

01:16:26.000 That's crazy.

01:16:27.000 We remember when he was in Pimps Up, Hose Down?

01:16:29.000 Yeah.

01:16:30.000 He was in that too.

01:16:30.000 Absolutely.

01:16:31.000 Yeah.

01:16:32.000 I mean, he was talking about the pimp game.

01:16:34.000 It's hilarious.

01:16:35.000 Yeah.

01:16:36.000 He came on.

01:16:37.000 By the way, they didn't want me to do that, you know, book him.

01:16:42.000 But I thought it was cool to expose America to some conversations they might not hear normally.

01:16:50.000 And the more power I got, the more I tried to push that envelope and do those things.

01:16:50.000 Right.

01:16:55.000 He compared it to Schwarzenegger.

01:16:57.000 He says, You don't think he's really the Terminator, right?

01:16:59.000 Yeah.

01:17:00.000 And he says, I'm not a cop killer, but there's a message through this character.

01:17:05.000 Right.

01:17:05.000 And I'm paraphrasing, but it was nice to hear people who I know.

01:17:11.000 I would talk to Tupac.

01:17:14.000 And I would say, say that on the air.

01:17:16.000 You got to talk about that on the air.

01:17:17.000 And that was, we didn't have Twitter.

01:17:21.000 We didn't have the bluebird.

01:17:22.000 I was kind of the blackbird.

01:17:23.000 And I was able to have these, like Tupac called me once and he says, man, they want me to take an AIDS test before I do this movie. 0.98

01:17:31.000 And unless I'm really going to fuck Janet, I don't think I should have to take an AIDS test. 0.92

01:17:36.000 And I'm like, please don't say anymore. 0.99

01:17:38.000 Just come on the show.

01:17:40.000 And this fit into both categories.

01:17:42.000 Come on the show.

01:17:43.000 Don't do any music.

01:17:44.000 Just sit and talk.

01:17:45.000 And.

01:17:46.000 Those nights would do really good.

01:17:48.000 Of course.

01:17:49.000 Because people want to hear people really talk.

01:17:49.000 Of course.

01:17:52.000 Especially in those weird settings where most of the time when people were coming on talk shows, they would just have this very canned, sort of pre programmed thing that they would talk about.

01:18:03.000 They would talk about their character and the way they were talking.

01:18:06.000 People don't know we have pre interviews, which you don't have in a show like this, but I get a card that morning.

01:18:13.000 It's like, okay, here's what Jackie Collins would like to talk about.

01:18:16.000 Right.

01:18:17.000 Or, Or Nicole Kidman has requested that you don't mention Tom Cruise. 1.00

01:18:24.000 And I'm like, well, tell Nicole the only reason that bitch is here is because I think Tom Cruise is going to walk out. 0.98

01:18:30.000 And oh, it was crazy back then. 0.99

01:18:30.000 You know? 0.99

01:18:33.000 Yeah.

01:18:34.000 Well, it was all PR people.

01:18:36.000 And it's again, you're dealing with too many different people that are peripheral people where all their money is dependent on this one person performing.

01:18:45.000 So they just want to make sure they make the maximum amount of money possible.

01:18:48.000 Like, don't make any ripples, don't cause any waves, don't cause any problems.

01:18:52.000 Just go out there and smile and we'll sell more records, we'll sell more movies, TV show will get better ratings.

01:19:00.000 Don't mess it up.

01:19:01.000 Yeah, guys like Prince used to be frustrated with the fact that if something's a hit, can you give us something like that again?

01:19:08.000 How many beats per second is that?

01:19:10.000 Give us that again. 0.97

01:19:11.000 Or any big artist, it's like we want more of waterfalls.

01:19:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:18.000 Yeah, no, Prince was one of the most revolutionary artists ever.

01:19:23.000 And people that, Don't know the early stuff.

01:19:26.000 They don't know how crazy it was that this guy was the house song called Head.

01:19:31.000 Just singing about getting head.

01:19:33.000 First time I saw him, he was opening for the Rolling Stones.

01:19:37.000 Wow.

01:19:38.000 And the audience didn't dig him because it was different back then and he was singing Soft and Wet.

01:19:43.000 Right, right.

01:19:45.000 Well, Prince was just, he was so unique, man.

01:19:48.000 And he predicted a lot of the things that we're dealing with now and going through.

01:19:52.000 I remember the first time he talked about what became Napster.

01:19:56.000 And he talked about owning your own property and what was going to happen, slave on his jaw.

01:20:02.000 And we thought that was silly, but it meant something. 0.99

01:20:05.000 Well, he was dealing with these crazy contracts where these record companies, these predatory record companies, would lock you into these contracts and they fucking owned you. 0.98

01:20:16.000 So his response to that was like, okay. 0.97

01:20:18.000 I won't perform as Prince anymore. 1.00

01:20:20.000 Now I'm fucking this shit. 1.00

01:20:21.000 I'm this squiggly. 1.00

01:20:22.000 I'm a symbol.

01:20:23.000 I'm a symbol.

01:20:23.000 With a slave insignia on my name.

01:20:26.000 What are you going to do now?

01:20:27.000 I'm a symbol.

01:20:27.000 I'm not even selling myself as Prince.

01:20:29.000 And he would just, I mean, how revolutionary is that?

01:20:33.000 This guy said, okay, I know the workaround.

01:20:35.000 I won't use my name anymore.

01:20:37.000 I'll just be a symbol.

01:20:38.000 He was a bad kid. 1.00

01:20:39.000 But he was such a bad motherfucker that people are like, I know who that is. 1.00

01:20:42.000 I don't care what that fucking symbol is. 1.00

01:20:45.000 That's Prince. 1.00

01:20:46.000 Let him sing.

01:20:47.000 Let him do things.

01:20:48.000 Did you ever meet him?

01:20:49.000 No. 0.99

01:20:50.000 I had one opportunity to fucking see him live. 0.99

01:20:53.000 And I blew it. 0.99

01:20:53.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:54.000 At the Great Western Forum?

01:20:55.000 No.

01:20:57.000 It was at one of the hotels in Vegas, but it was a really late show.

01:21:02.000 And I had a show earlier that night.

01:21:06.000 And Prince was doing small shows back then. 0.97

01:21:08.000 It was like this small, intimate audience, but it was like after midnight, I was like, I'm fucking tired. 0.89

01:21:14.000 I'm going to go to sleep. 0.99

01:21:15.000 And this is like, oh, I fucked up, man. 1.00

01:21:18.000 I fucked up. 0.99

01:21:19.000 It was like when his career was in a weird place. 0.99

01:21:23.000 He wasn't doing like big shows anymore.

01:21:25.000 And he was doing this late night show.

01:21:28.000 And people were saying it was really good.

01:21:29.000 But I was like, I'm tired.

01:21:30.000 I'm not going to see this. 0.99

01:21:31.000 And then years later, when he was dead, I was like, God, did I fuck up? 0.95

01:21:35.000 I always thought Prince was going to be around. 0.98

01:21:37.000 And we lost Prince to fentanyl.

01:21:37.000 Yeah.

01:21:39.000 Yeah.

01:21:40.000 A lot of people were going in an elevator. 1.00

01:21:42.000 God damn. 0.99

01:21:44.000 I remember the Musicology album where he toured and he attached the album to the ticket so that when you bought a ticket, you were buying an album. 0.99

01:21:55.000 And it instantly became a million dollar seller with that philosophy.

01:21:58.000 He had genius that was way ahead of the pimps.

01:22:02.000 Yeah.

01:22:03.000 I love it. 1.00

01:22:04.000 He just knew that he was being fucked. 1.00

01:22:07.000 And he knew that all they're selling is his brilliance. 1.00

01:22:10.000 They don't have anything.

01:22:12.000 What is a record company selling?

01:22:13.000 They're only selling the art.

01:22:15.000 That's it.

01:22:16.000 They don't make it.

01:22:17.000 And they were selling a penny a copy.

01:22:19.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:22:20.000 The record company was getting most of it.

01:22:23.000 And now it makes even less sense.

01:22:25.000 Because no one even buys albums anymore. 0.93

01:22:27.000 It's like, how the fuck are these record companies even surviving? 0.80

01:22:30.000 It's so crazy that they still figure out a way to latch their tentacles onto these young artists. 0.99

01:22:37.000 And for young artists, they feel like they've made it when they're a part of a record deal.

01:22:41.000 Like, I got a deal.

01:22:43.000 And I almost want to tell them, like, that ain't a deal.

01:22:46.000 You got to deal with the devil. 0.99

01:22:47.000 Like, if you just put your shit on YouTube or on SoundCloud or anywhere where people hear it and they start sharing it, you'll be huge. 0.99

01:22:54.000 Yeah, we're getting smarter. 0.99

01:22:56.000 And learning how to deal with the pimps that he has.

01:23:00.000 I talk in the book about Prince, also, he had a great sense of humor.

01:23:05.000 You would have loved him, you know, as a person beyond the musician. 0.99

01:23:10.000 And there was a time when I was hosting the MTV Awards and he had no ass in his pants. 1.00

01:23:17.000 And, you know, so when he's coming past me down the hall, I realize, oh shit. 1.00

01:23:25.000 Because this motherfucker ain't got no ass in his pants. 1.00

01:23:28.000 We'll be talking about this tomorrow. 1.00

01:23:31.000 So obviously, when I get back to the show, my first monologue is about that night.

01:23:36.000 Yes!

01:23:41.000 1991.

01:23:42.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:23:43.000 That was nuts.

01:23:45.000 1991.

01:23:46.000 So I do jokes about that in the monologue.

01:23:48.000 Of course.

01:23:49.000 And like a week or two after the jokes, I get a box in the mail at Paramount and it's from Prince.

01:24:00.000 And I open it.

01:24:01.000 I figure it's maybe a hoodie.

01:24:03.000 Right.

01:24:04.000 I opened it and it's a beautiful black and white suit with all the Prince symbols on it.

01:24:09.000 Made me look like I was the drummer for New Power Generation or something.

01:24:12.000 It was a cool suit.

01:24:14.000 And I'm looking at it, and my assistant said, Turn it around.

01:24:22.000 I turned it around. 1.00

01:24:24.000 There was no ass. 0.99

01:24:25.000 Did you wear it? 0.98

01:24:26.000 No leg.

01:24:27.000 Hell no.

01:24:29.000 Not even at the crib.

01:24:31.000 I never put it on.

01:24:32.000 It's like I could never bring myself to putting on that suit.

01:24:35.000 It had no back, Joe.

01:24:37.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:24:38.000 But that's his sense of humor.

01:24:40.000 That's hilarious.

01:24:41.000 That's so funny.

01:24:42.000 I took him to an after hours joint once.

01:24:44.000 I talk about that in the book.

01:24:47.000 He was very interested in what people listen to and what moves people in clubs.

01:24:51.000 And I told him about an after hours joint down the way south of Wilshire that was in a lady's house.

01:24:56.000 And you have pit bulls and a fence, and they let you in, they lock the chain back, bring you to the back, and you put money on the counter and they put your liquor in a solo cup.

01:25:09.000 Not a legal place.

01:25:11.000 And I told him about the place, and he said, I want to go.

01:25:15.000 And I took him down the way to this spot.

01:25:18.000 He had an acrylic cane and a suit where the shoes match the suit, exact same material.

01:25:25.000 And he sat with me in this after hours joint and listened to the music.

01:25:32.000 And it was where the strippers were.

01:25:33.000 What year was this?

01:25:34.000 Oh, God.

01:25:35.000 This was maybe two years after I left the talk show.

01:25:39.000 And so, did he need the cane back then?

01:25:41.000 Was that when he was having hip hop?

01:25:43.000 Problems, I think so.

01:25:44.000 Now we understand that maybe he had a replacement, a hip replacement, or something.

01:25:49.000 I thought it was fashion, but it probably was a little necessary that year.

01:25:54.000 And he said, He was all his dancing and oh, he should jump off speakers, yeah, yeah, and land with heels.

01:26:01.000 So that's what fucked him up, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:26:07.000 Over the time, though.

01:26:08.000 That's, well, he probably was struggling even back then.

01:26:12.000 Because there's a lot of guys that blew their hips out.

01:26:15.000 Yeah.

01:26:17.000 He probably needed it.

01:26:18.000 Because he was an athlete, per se.

01:26:20.000 Oh, for sure.

01:26:21.000 I mean, his dancing was insane.

01:26:23.000 And he was a good basketball player.

01:26:26.000 Hey, I have one of those.

01:26:28.000 The hat with the police hat with the chain.

01:26:32.000 He sent me that one day.

01:26:34.000 So I'm sure there are a few of them.

01:26:35.000 But just to have one of those from him.

01:26:37.000 And he sent me what looks like.

01:26:41.000 A Smith Wesson 38 long, but it was fixed up so the microphone was where the barrel is, so he could hold the gun and sing into it like that.

01:26:51.000 I have that.

01:26:52.000 Oh, wow!

01:26:53.000 Very cool.

01:26:54.000 I became good friends with Charlie Murphy and Charlie.

01:26:54.000 Very cool.

01:26:57.000 Charlie Hatt.

01:26:58.000 Oh, look at that!

01:26:59.000 Yes, wow!

01:27:02.000 Wow, I have one of those.

01:27:05.000 I don't know how many there were, but I have one from that.

01:27:07.000 That's crazy.

01:27:09.000 Wow, but Charlie Murphy.

01:27:11.000 Well, Charlie had all those great stories about Prince that he did on Chappelle's show.

01:27:16.000 Yeah.

01:27:16.000 You know, I mean, that was like that whole segment of how good Prince was at basketball.

01:27:22.000 And then people didn't believe it because, you know, he's so short, but meanwhile, he could fucking play like a motherfucker. 0.99

01:27:28.000 He had a crossover move that was crazy and he could roller skate. 1.00

01:27:33.000 And I mean, amazing with a lollipop backpack on one foot, you know?

01:27:39.000 So he was.

01:27:40.000 He was an athlete.

01:27:41.000 Yeah.

01:27:42.000 Really.

01:27:42.000 I mean, you can't dance like that and not have incredible body control.

01:27:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:27:47.000 But the problem is when you're doing show after show after show after show after show for years, you're tearing your fucking joints apart. 0.99

01:27:53.000 And that's probably what blew his hips out. 0.99

01:27:55.000 That's one thing about us, with the exception of the shit you used to do on a stool, that balancing act. 0.99

01:28:00.000 Oh, the Kardashian joke? 0.97

01:28:02.000 Yeah, our life of jokes isn't very fit.

01:28:06.000 All we got to do is take care of the neck up, take care of your mind, our body.

01:28:06.000 No.

01:28:11.000 No comedian has a bad hip.

01:28:13.000 Well, you generally don't get it from performing on stage, that's for sure. 0.99

01:28:17.000 But when you're dancing and jumping around and doing all that shit, like, Ted Nugent blew his knees out jumping off of speakers. 0.98

01:28:24.000 Like a lot of people did that. 0.99

01:28:26.000 They just went crazy.

01:28:27.000 They were just putting on a show, and you don't realize you're doing it.

01:28:30.000 Maynard from Tool blew his hip out, stomping on the ground all the time.

01:28:34.000 Wow.

01:28:35.000 Just stomping while he was singing.

01:28:36.000 He had to get a hip replacement.

01:28:38.000 Yeah, I like being a stand up.

01:28:41.000 Well, it's definitely easier on the body.

01:28:43.000 That's true.

01:28:44.000 You know, you still get up on stage ever?

01:28:46.000 Oh, yeah, all the time.

01:28:47.000 I'm going up in your own club.

01:28:49.000 Yeah.

01:28:50.000 What nights do you go up?

01:28:51.000 Usually Tuesday and Wednesday, I do it, but I do it, you know, off nights too, different nights.

01:28:55.000 But Tuesday and Wednesday, almost every week, I do a show there.

01:28:58.000 I promised my woman I wouldn't go to the mothership.

01:29:01.000 Wow.

01:29:02.000 When I told her, she's like, when you go, I want to go.

01:29:05.000 It's a big deal if you're a comic, you know?

01:29:08.000 I mean, uh, It's a huge deal.

01:29:12.000 But I want to come one night, fly in, and just let me have 10.

01:29:16.000 Dude, you can go up anytime.

01:29:18.000 You can go up tonight if you want.

01:29:19.000 I got a show tonight.

01:29:20.000 Yeah, I got to fly home and do.

01:29:23.000 I'm still slinging this book, man.

01:29:25.000 Well, anytime.

01:29:25.000 I hear you, brother.

01:29:26.000 Anytime you want to come by and do a set, you're more than welcome.

01:29:29.000 I love it.

01:29:30.000 Come and hang out.

01:29:31.000 Everybody's been so friendly.

01:29:32.000 The green room's an amazing hang, too.

01:29:34.000 That's what I hear, but I've heard both sides of that. 1.00

01:29:37.000 I've heard, don't be in that motherfucker if you're not supposed to. 0.99

01:29:40.000 Well, the problem is, you don't want anybody coming in and fucking up the conversation. 1.00

01:29:44.000 So, you know, you got to be kind of vetted.

01:29:47.000 But it's only like during shows when you're not on.

01:29:50.000 You know, if like.

01:29:51.000 If it's a show and you're on the show, everyone's allowed to be in the green room.

01:29:57.000 It's just like we don't allow people to just come in out of nowhere.

01:30:00.000 It's like you're from out of town, you want to come in and hang out in the green room.

01:30:04.000 Then there's too many people in the green room.

01:30:05.000 And then people have to prepare.

01:30:06.000 They're going over their notes.

01:30:08.000 The green room is supposed to be a hang with the comics on the show that are getting ready to go on stage.

01:30:13.000 And the problem is that's the cool spot.

01:30:15.000 That's where Shane Gillis is, Ron White is, Tony Hinchcliffe is.

01:30:19.000 Everybody wants to come in.

01:30:20.000 And, you know, it gets to be a little bit of a problem.

01:30:24.000 So, you can't go in the green room if you're not on the show unless we know who you are.

01:30:28.000 You know, you're in down, you want to come hang.

01:30:30.000 But it's like you're having a party.

01:30:32.000 You can't let everybody in.

01:30:33.000 The problem is, everybody wants to be there.

01:30:35.000 I mean, look at the level I'm at and how long I've been doing it, and I know about the green room and want to get in there.

01:30:42.000 You can get in anytime.

01:30:44.000 But when you were living in Hollywood still, did your kids ever want to act?

01:30:50.000 No, they're not interested in that.

01:30:50.000 No.

01:30:53.000 Never wanted to do stand ups.

01:30:54.000 Thank God.

01:30:55.000 No, they wouldn't.

01:30:56.000 First of all, rich kids are not going to be good stand ups.

01:31:01.000 You're not going to be able to deal with the torture of bombing.

01:31:06.000 And they don't have to.

01:31:07.000 And they don't have pain. 0.83

01:31:09.000 Their pain is so minor in comparison to the pain of poverty, the pain of struggle, the pain of not getting enough attention when you're young and moving around a lot, all the different shit that most comics go through. 0.56

01:31:22.000 I've never met a good comic who had a great childhood.

01:31:25.000 As you're talking, I'm thinking, I'm like, do we know any comics who are good, who are from wealth?

01:31:31.000 I don't know any.

01:31:31.000 None.

01:31:32.000 I'm sure they can exist.

01:31:34.000 I'm sure it's possible.

01:31:35.000 But it takes a very exceptional person to want to.

01:31:38.000 To be a great comic that grew up wealthy.

01:31:42.000 It's just not a thing that they seek to do.

01:31:45.000 So much comedy comes from our pain.

01:31:48.000 I think the only exception to that would be the Wayans brothers because the sons of the Wayans brothers all went on to be great comics.

01:31:56.000 They all went on to have big careers in movies and films and television.

01:31:59.000 But I think that's like a family thing over there.

01:32:03.000 Like I remember Damon telling me that he set up a stage in his house.

01:32:07.000 That's absolutely true. 0.90

01:32:09.000 Well, they were just, I mean, they love stand up so much, they would fucking do stand up for each other. 1.00

01:32:13.000 Just fuck around. 0.99

01:32:15.000 I used to see, first of all, I think to this day, Damon is one of the most underappreciated great comics of all time. 0.99

01:32:23.000 And he's back out there.

01:32:24.000 Now, I noticed in my room, Damon is at the improv.

01:32:29.000 Oh, he's always been out there.

01:32:30.000 No, no, no, he never quit.

01:32:30.000 I thought he quit.

01:32:32.000 He was always doing stand up, but he's low key about it.

01:32:34.000 He makes his money off of television. 0.82

01:32:36.000 You know, and even like he wanted to do, we talked, Years ago, about him coming on my podcast, and he was like, I'd like to, but I'll say some crazy shit and then I'll get in trouble because he was in that what I call the velvet prison, the TV velvet prison. 0.68

01:32:51.000 You're doing TV shows, you're playing a dad on a TV show, you know. 1.00

01:32:56.000 You can't come on a podcast, talk about getting your dick sucked. 1.00

01:32:59.000 It's just Howie Mandel goes through that. 0.99

01:33:02.000 I work with him a lot, and Howie is on America's Got Talent, exactly this real commercial television vehicle, but nobody is more real.

01:33:14.000 And edgy than Howie Mandel.

01:33:15.000 When he's on stage and in the green room hanging out.

01:33:18.000 Like, he's done sets of the mothership.

01:33:20.000 He's come and hung out with us.

01:33:21.000 Yeah.

01:33:22.000 He did my podcast and he came to the club. 0.99

01:33:24.000 He's like, fuck, I want to be like that. 0.97

01:33:25.000 I want to do what you guys are doing. 1.00

01:33:26.000 Yeah.

01:33:27.000 I'm like, you can.

01:33:28.000 You can do it.

01:33:29.000 But he's worried that he would lose that velvet prison.

01:33:32.000 Hey, when we're working and they have the phones in bags, that's when he's amazing to us.

01:33:39.000 Yes.

01:33:39.000 Because he'll drop the C bomb in a minute.

01:33:41.000 He was saying it.

01:33:42.000 He was saying it on stage. 1.00

01:33:43.000 I'm just so happy I can say cunt. 1.00

01:33:45.000 I just want to say it. 1.00

01:33:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:33:47.000 But he was funny.

01:33:48.000 It was like he was having a good time.

01:33:50.000 He was loose.

01:33:51.000 And you could tell.

01:33:52.000 Because Howie was a great comic. 0.99

01:33:54.000 Like, Howie had some hilarious fucking specials. 0.98

01:33:57.000 I hated following him at the Westwood Comedy Store. 0.99

01:34:00.000 Mitzi used to send us there to get better.

01:34:02.000 Me, him, and Paulie.

01:34:04.000 That's one thing I loved about her.

01:34:06.000 You know how we have Nepo babies? 0.97

01:34:09.000 She didn't have any Nepo baby.

01:34:10.000 She was like, Pauly, you're not ready. 1.00

01:34:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:13.000 Oh, she sent his ass to Westwood. 1.00

01:34:14.000 Oh, she made Pauly work. 1.00

01:34:16.000 Yeah.

01:34:17.000 I mean, Pauly's a rare dude in that regard.

01:34:19.000 Like, he became a really funny comedian while he was, you know, living with a woman who's the great.

01:34:27.000 In terms of, like, people in comedy that are, like, some of the most critical, important people, she is the most important person in the history of comedy that's not a comic.

01:34:38.000 Absolutely.

01:34:39.000 There is no argument.

01:34:40.000 No argument.

01:34:41.000 There's no one even close to her.

01:34:43.000 And her son, you know, I mean, went on to have huge success in movies.

01:34:48.000 I took Mitzi.

01:34:48.000 Remember when we had the Universal Amphitheater?

01:34:51.000 Mm hmm.

01:34:52.000 I got tickets and took Mitzi to see Paulie open for Sam Kennison.

01:34:58.000 Wow.

01:34:59.000 And it just blew her away because she had never seen him in that large environment.

01:35:03.000 And it was really cool to watch her watch her son.

01:35:06.000 Well, she let him grow the right way.

01:35:09.000 You know, she didn't give him a silver spoon.

01:35:12.000 By the way, Mitzi Shore.

01:35:15.000 Started the comedy store, and she's the mother of Paulie.

01:35:17.000 Show because I say Mitzi to you, right?

01:35:20.000 Like it's a cousin, right?

01:35:21.000 Well, we talk about her so much, I think a lot of people listening know.

01:35:25.000 She's the most important person in comedy that wasn't a comic and more important than most comedians.

01:35:31.000 Like, she would tell you how to do it right.

01:35:34.000 And if she liked you, man, it was like.

01:35:36.000 She'd tell you how to do it in her opinion. 1.00

01:35:40.000 I've seen her tell some people some crazy shit. 0.99

01:35:43.000 Oh, yeah, she was not right a lot of times. 1.00

01:35:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:35:45.000 She had some wild ideas that.

01:35:47.000 She had a girl put on a green wig one time. 0.66

01:35:49.000 And I'm like, I'm not sure, you know, but she was trying to find some kind of hook for this girl.

01:35:55.000 And I'm like, if you don't want to have to wear the green wig, Go home and figure out a hook.

01:35:59.000 Yeah, she made Joey Diaz call himself Fat Baby.

01:36:03.000 Ouch.

01:36:06.000 When you would look at the lineup, like I bet you could find it online if you looked.

01:36:11.000 There's lineups from the comedy store.

01:36:12.000 It'd be a bunch of comedians, Bill Burr, blah, blah, blah.

01:36:15.000 And then you'd see Fat Baby.

01:36:17.000 And that was Joey Diaz.

01:36:18.000 She would call him Fat Baby. 1.00

01:36:19.000 She wouldn't even let him use his fucking name in the lineup. 1.00

01:36:24.000 It would be Fat Baby. 0.99

01:36:25.000 I remember having a conversation with her and Paul, and Paul was exacerbating the problem because she was like, Rodriguez?

01:36:33.000 Paul Mooney.

01:36:34.000 Oh, Mooney.

01:36:34.000 We got so many Pauls in our life.

01:36:36.000 So we're sitting talking, and Mitzi's about to start the Belly Room because she thinks women need a place to perform and to get better. 0.99

01:36:47.000 That was what the Belly Room originally was. 1.00

01:36:48.000 It was a little college up there for ladies. 1.00

01:36:51.000 And she was trying to think of a name for it.

01:36:54.000 And she says, I'm also thinking about having one night of just black comics.

01:36:59.000 You know, because there was only George Wallace, Dave Tyree, and Mooney.

01:37:03.000 At one time when I arrived.

01:37:05.000 What year was that?

01:37:07.000 I came in 1980, New Year's Eve.

01:37:10.000 Wow.

01:37:11.000 I drove out from Chicago because I'm from Cleveland and there were no comedy clubs in Cleveland back then.

01:37:16.000 So I had to go to New York, LA, or Chicago.

01:37:18.000 And my mother was living in Chicago at that time.

01:37:21.000 So I went there because rent was free for a while.

01:37:25.000 And that was a lot of fun.

01:37:28.000 But Mitzi, for the Black Knight, she said, Paul, what do you think I should call it? 0.53

01:37:33.000 And she says, I was thinking cotton comedy.

01:37:38.000 And I'm not, no, Mitzi, no, no, you can't.

01:37:41.000 And I was trying to explain why.

01:37:42.000 And Paul was like, oh, that's wonderful.

01:37:47.000 That's exactly what we should call it. 1.00

01:37:49.000 Oh, homie. 0.86

01:37:50.000 Cotton comedy. 0.99

01:37:53.000 He was cool. 0.93

01:37:55.000 Paul, that guy would write.

01:37:55.000 Oh, man.

01:37:58.000 Man, there'd be something that would happen in the news like the day before, and Mooney would go on stage and have like 15 minutes on it and just crush.

01:38:05.000 And he did something that.

01:38:07.000 I know I hate it.

01:38:08.000 He requested the last spot.

01:38:10.000 Oh, he loved that. 1.00

01:38:11.000 Wanted to go on late, wanted to stay on as long as he wanted, and would fuck with you if you tried to get up. 1.00

01:38:17.000 Oh, you don't like a smart nigga. 1.00

01:38:22.000 But don't leave too early. 1.00

01:38:23.000 My friends are at your house robbing that motherfucker. 1.00

01:38:26.000 He would have so many things like that, so many hooks. 1.00

01:38:29.000 And he was just so good at working those small crowds. 0.99

01:38:32.000 He just liked the freedom of just being able to fuck around, you know? 0.99

01:38:36.000 With a bottle of champagne, with a straw. 0.99

01:38:38.000 A little tiny bottle of champagne.

01:38:39.000 Yeah, the little straw.

01:38:40.000 And he would sip on it during punchlines. 1.00

01:38:43.000 Oh, nigga, please. 1.00

01:38:44.000 And then take a sip. 1.00

01:38:46.000 We all used to sit in the back and watch him.

01:38:49.000 It's like if you thought you were good at comedy, you'd watch Mooney and go, God, I got so much to learn.

01:38:53.000 I got so much to learn.

01:38:53.000 Yeah.

01:38:55.000 All the great comics that we know now at one time would sit in the back of the OR and come late to watch Paul.

01:39:04.000 Absolutely.

01:39:05.000 I used to, on a landline, I used to call Keenan and say, Yo, I'll meet you there.

01:39:09.000 We were going to see Mooney at 115. 0.82

01:39:12.000 I would always love to see Mooney when something fucked up happened in the news. 0.80

01:39:16.000 Like, if there's something fucked up happening in the news, I'm like, when's Paul going up? 0.97

01:39:19.000 Yeah. 0.86

01:39:19.000 You know, it's just like you had to go see him because he always had a take. 0.86

01:39:23.000 And, you know, that take was always like, oh, shit. 1.00

01:39:26.000 You know, it's like he would get you. 0.99

01:39:28.000 He would like find an angle where you'd be like, oh my God.

01:39:32.000 Oh my God.

01:39:34.000 He was so clever.

01:39:35.000 The coolest conversations at the comedy show, when Richard would come up every night and Richard would go from five minutes to an hour and then it would become.

01:39:43.000 A great special that you go to at the theater to see.

01:39:46.000 But I would watch Paul Mooney before we had cell phones.

01:39:50.000 After it was over, Richard would go and have a cigarette in the main room, like on a Monday or Sunday, I think it would be closed.

01:39:56.000 And that's where he would call it holding court.

01:39:58.000 He would go in there first and just want to dry off for a minute, smoke a cigarette, and Paul would come in with a napkin with stuff written on it.

01:40:07.000 And he would just, you know, oh, and how about this?

01:40:10.000 And he would give him tags.

01:40:11.000 As a matter of fact, Richard on the back of an album, that joke, you go to prison, you get justice. 0.97

01:40:17.000 Just us, nigga.

01:40:20.000 And he gave that to Richard, and it was on a prior album.

01:40:23.000 But, oh, those, Joe, that was a time Richard would work out every night.

01:40:29.000 He'd work the original room, go in the main room, and entertain his guest.

01:40:34.000 And it would be like Burt Reynolds, Moses, Charlton Heston, Bernie Casey.

01:40:44.000 You would see, like, oh, Burt Reynolds would have Sally Field with him.

01:40:48.000 Wow.

01:40:48.000 It was amazing.

01:40:49.000 They would all come.

01:40:50.000 And bow to the king, dog.

01:40:52.000 Yeah.

01:40:53.000 Well, he was so different.

01:40:54.000 Yeah, I always say that the godfather of comedy who started everything was Lenny Bruce.

01:41:00.000 But then Richard figured out a way to take that and make it way funnier.

01:41:05.000 He figured out how to take that kind of honesty and social commentary and figure out how to talk about life.

01:41:12.000 Because people don't know that before Lenny Bruce came around, it was just jokes. 0.79

01:41:20.000 It was just like two Jews walking to a bar. 1.00

01:41:22.000 They buy it. 0.99

01:41:23.000 Yeah.

01:41:24.000 It was jokes.

01:41:25.000 It was like, it was Dangerfield's rhythm.

01:41:28.000 Yeah.

01:41:28.000 But, you know, Dangerfield was a special guy, too.

01:41:32.000 He was a beast, man.

01:41:34.000 And he didn't, he took like 10 years off and never stopped writing and was selling aluminum siding.

01:41:40.000 Yeah.

01:41:41.000 And then came back and made it in his 40s.

01:41:44.000 Yeah.

01:41:45.000 Wow.

01:41:46.000 Look at this.

01:41:47.000 Willie Nelson.

01:41:48.000 That's the main room.

01:41:49.000 That's crazy.

01:41:50.000 Burt Reynolds, Sally Fields.

01:41:52.000 Now, you see that picture?

01:41:53.000 One night, I'm in that room.

01:41:54.000 And Stevie Wonder is over on the piano.

01:41:58.000 Remember how the piano used to be in the middle on the far left of the stage?

01:42:01.000 Stevie's playing, and there are a few people snorting Coke.

01:42:05.000 I think to this day, Stevie still thinks a few of those people have allergies because, you know, it's not like.

01:42:11.000 Stevie's sniffing?

01:42:12.000 Yeah, he's just sitting playing, and people are like, wow.

01:42:15.000 Look at that Burt Reynolds on stage, Robin Williams.

01:42:15.000 Wow.

01:42:18.000 I saw Burt Reynolds give the parking attendant $100, and I thought I was on another planet. 0.99

01:42:23.000 I'm like, get the fuck out of here. 0.92

01:42:25.000 That should be parking cars. 1.00

01:42:26.000 Fuck, stand up. 1.00

01:42:28.000 Yeah, that was, that's, and for people who are looking at this picture, that's Richard holding court after his set. 1.00

01:42:36.000 Wow.

01:42:38.000 What an amazing photo.

01:42:40.000 Well, Jamie, we should get some of these photos and, yeah, get some of these photos and let's print them up and put them in the green room at the mothership.

01:42:48.000 I saw a picture.

01:42:49.000 That's in the back.

01:42:50.000 He's got the Ciro signs in the back.

01:42:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:42:52.000 Still, wow.

01:42:54.000 That tells you a lot about the history.

01:42:56.000 Search.

01:42:57.000 Search sign. 1.00

01:42:58.000 That sign used to be, Mitzi had this warehouse room. 0.78

01:43:01.000 Like, it was just not a warehouse, but you know, it was a storage room where she had all the old Ciro stuff.

01:43:06.000 And I remember seeing that sign there, and they eventually hung it up in the back bar area. 0.97

01:43:11.000 And you just look like, wow, this was a mob club in like the fucking 50s. 0.99

01:43:19.000 Yeah, that's crazy. 0.98

01:43:21.000 I saw a picture you have in the entry of Richard Pryor's mugshot.

01:43:27.000 Yeah.

01:43:28.000 I had never seen that.

01:43:29.000 What did he do?

01:43:32.000 I don't remember.

01:43:34.000 Yeah.

01:43:35.000 I don't remember, but he was very young.

01:43:37.000 That mugshot was, I think he was like 18.

01:43:40.000 I don't remember what it was.

01:43:41.000 I have mugshots from everybody who got arrested.

01:43:44.000 Yeah, I saw Larry King.

01:43:46.000 Larry King was like bad checks.

01:43:47.000 He was writing bad checks.

01:43:49.000 He had a gambling problem.

01:43:50.000 Oh.

01:43:51.000 Yeah.

01:43:52.000 Yeah.

01:43:53.000 Willie Nelson's up there.

01:43:54.000 Yeah.

01:43:55.000 I got everybody up there.

01:43:56.000 There is a book that I have in my garage, and it's the first edition to tell you how much of this kind of stuff existed.

01:44:07.000 But it's all celebrities and their mugshots.

01:44:11.000 So it's a coffee table book.

01:44:12.000 Of just the mugshots.

01:44:14.000 Oh, I should probably get that book.

01:44:15.000 I bet there's a few in there that I don't have.

01:44:17.000 And I bet there is a second one that they could do.

01:44:20.000 Because the book's only like a half inch thick.

01:44:23.000 We got a lot of good ones out there, but, you know, so many people got arrested.

01:44:30.000 You know, we got David Bowie out there.

01:44:33.000 Of course, Morrison.

01:44:35.000 You know, it's like Hendrix, gotta have that mugshot.

01:44:38.000 That's a classic.

01:44:38.000 Yeah.

01:44:39.000 There were a lot of mugshots.

01:44:41.000 Have you ever taken a mugshot?

01:44:42.000 No, I've never been arrested.

01:44:43.000 Yeah, I've never been arrested.

01:44:44.000 I'm a good boy, believe it or not.

01:44:46.000 Yeah.

01:44:48.000 You know, I mean, we've done things, but not enough to have to take those pictures.

01:44:55.000 Yeah, luckily.

01:44:57.000 But also, we live in a different time.

01:44:59.000 You know, in the 1960s and 70s, when those guys are getting arrested, they're getting arrested for like having a joint or something like that.

01:45:05.000 Yeah.

01:45:06.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:07.000 Richard, or excuse me, Jimmy, I think he got arrested in Toronto for having heroin on him.

01:45:12.000 I think that's what he got arrested for.

01:45:14.000 I got pulled over and had a joint in my ashtray.

01:45:18.000 In 1989, and I was scared to death.

01:45:24.000 The cop was real nice to me, but he did the corniest thing.

01:45:28.000 He says, Get out of the car, and he made me rip up the joint and drop it in the sewer at the curb there.

01:45:35.000 He says, Now get your life together.

01:45:40.000 Like, this is helping me get my life together.

01:45:43.000 It makes me funnier.

01:45:44.000 That's funny.

01:45:45.000 That's hilarious.

01:45:46.000 Good old days, man.

01:45:47.000 I remember you talking about Rodney earlier, Rodney Dangerfield.

01:45:53.000 You know how we love comedy.

01:45:54.000 We'll never stop doing it.

01:45:55.000 We'll do it until the wheels fall off.

01:45:58.000 And I remember him on stage at the Laugh Factory near the end of his life.

01:46:03.000 I saw him there.

01:46:04.000 And his wife was in the balcony giving him lines through a wireless earwig.

01:46:11.000 And if you went up top, you would hear her say, I don't get no respect.

01:46:18.000 I don't get no respect.

01:46:20.000 And first of all, two things.

01:46:23.000 First of all, it warmed my heart.

01:46:25.000 That the woman who loves you is going to help you do what you love.

01:46:29.000 So that made me feel so good.

01:46:32.000 And it was like, I want a woman with that kind of heart because I know I'm going to want to do it when I'm older.

01:46:37.000 She gave us his notes from one of his Tonight Show appearances, and they're framed on the wall in the green room.

01:46:44.000 It's his handwritten notes in bold.

01:46:47.000 He would write it in bold where the punchlines were.

01:46:50.000 It's like sitting there right above the couch.

01:46:53.000 That's cool, man.

01:46:54.000 Yeah, it was one of the first things.

01:46:56.000 Whitney Cummings hooked it up.

01:46:57.000 She got it for us from her.

01:46:59.000 She wanted us to have it.

01:47:01.000 Whitney Cummings, I saw Rodney live when I was a security guard.

01:47:06.000 I was a security guard at Great Woods Center for the Performing Arts, which was in Mansfield, Massachusetts.

01:47:14.000 I lived in Boston.

01:47:14.000 Oh.

01:47:15.000 Yeah.

01:47:16.000 Me and a bunch of the black belts from this Taekwondo team that I was on got jobs as security guards.

01:47:22.000 And I was 19, and I was backstage, and Rodney was walking around with a bathrobe on with nothing underneath it.

01:47:28.000 That was when he was going on stage with a bathrobe. 0.94

01:47:30.000 He got to such a fuck it point in his life where he would literally go on stage with nothing but a bathrobe. 1.00

01:47:36.000 He would walk out there with a bathrobe and slippers and just fucking murder. 0.99

01:47:41.000 I remember being in the hospital, and I wasn't even thinking about doing stand up back then. 0.99

01:47:45.000 Back then, I was just fighting, and I was a fan of comedy.

01:47:49.000 I always loved comedy.

01:47:50.000 Your fighting friends talked you into doing stand up, right?

01:47:53.000 Yeah.

01:47:53.000 One of the guys that I trained with, my friend Steve.

01:47:55.000 But when I went there, I remember, like, you want to talk about not giving a fuck? 0.99

01:48:00.000 Like, this guy really didn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:48:03.000 Like, he had gotten to a point where he had so much success and so much money, and this is after Back to School and all those big movies. 0.99

01:48:10.000 And he was still just going out there doing stand up.

01:48:12.000 He was smoking weed back there, and he just would go on stage with a bathrobe on. 0.99

01:48:17.000 And I remember thinking, that is the wildest shit I've ever seen in my life. 1.00

01:48:20.000 I remember as a young man, because I was always, you know, you're fucking 19. 1.00

01:48:25.000 You're scared of everything. 0.99

01:48:26.000 You're worried about the future.

01:48:28.000 You don't know what, you know, you have no security in your life at all. 0.99

01:48:32.000 And here's this guy with, you know, millions of dollars, massive amounts of fame, and he had got to that I don't give a fuck stage. 0.99

01:48:41.000 But he really did. 0.99

01:48:43.000 He wasn't faking it.

01:48:44.000 Nobody told him he has to go on stage in a bathrobe.

01:48:46.000 I was like, I'll tell you what I want to do.

01:48:48.000 I want to go on stage with a bathrobe. 1.00

01:48:50.000 He just went on stage with a fucking bathrobe. 1.00

01:48:53.000 See if you can find some photos of him on stage with a bathrobe on. 1.00

01:48:56.000 I know he did it for years.

01:48:58.000 I got in trouble because EZE came on my show in his bathrobe.

01:49:03.000 And he was like, You gave it to me.

01:49:06.000 You know, because we would give out bathrobes. 1.00

01:49:08.000 And so he said, Well, fuck it. 1.00

01:49:10.000 I'll wear it out there. 1.00

01:49:10.000 And he wore it out and had a, he was picking his teeth with a knife. 1.00

01:49:14.000 And Paramount was like, Oh, man, this is not what we asked him for.

01:49:19.000 This is really not what we asked him for.

01:49:21.000 He'll never replace Johnny. 1.00

01:49:23.000 Oh, fuck off. 1.00

01:49:24.000 But I knew. 1.00

01:49:25.000 Those people were ridiculous. 0.95

01:49:26.000 Hey, I was where I was because I snuck in through syndication, did a first run syndication. 0.98

01:49:31.000 I know network wasn't for me.

01:49:34.000 And when Letterman got CBS, I knew I was really in trouble, so I had to figure out an exit plan.

01:49:38.000 But the bottom line is for six years, I did it the way I wanted to do it, and I wouldn't change a thing, man.

01:49:44.000 To do it for 26 years, I wouldn't trade those six.

01:49:47.000 The thing about it is, man, everybody wanted to be Johnny back then.

01:49:51.000 Absolutely.

01:49:51.000 It was so crazy.

01:49:52.000 Even Letterman.

01:49:53.000 I joked at the Emmys.

01:49:54.000 I said, I had a dream. 0.88

01:49:56.000 I wanted to be an old white man with a desk. 0.92

01:49:58.000 You know? 0.61

01:49:59.000 And that was my dream.

01:50:01.000 To the point, Joe, that when I made it, I hired Johnny's architect that built his house to build me a house. 0.99

01:50:08.000 I was deep into the shit like that. 0.99

01:50:10.000 Well, he was the guy. 1.00

01:50:12.000 People don't realize that was the carrot.

01:50:15.000 That was the thing that they got.

01:50:17.000 I mean, Jay Leno and like that famous scene in that movie that talked about it, where Jay Leno would hide in the closet and listen to them talk about it because.

01:50:25.000 He wanted that spot when Johnny retired, but they wanted Letterman.

01:50:29.000 And it was like this battle between, like, it made no sense to me.

01:50:32.000 I'm like, Letterman has the Letterman show. 0.98

01:50:34.000 It's fucking huge. 0.98

01:50:35.000 It's amazing. 0.99

01:50:36.000 Why would you want to do anything else?

01:50:37.000 But everybody wanted that tonight show.

01:50:39.000 Absolutely.

01:50:40.000 All wanted the tonight show.

01:50:41.000 And when I was a kid, I was a magician.

01:50:43.000 That's how I started.

01:50:44.000 And I read an article that said that Johnny did sleight of hand and was a magician.

01:50:49.000 So to me, that was God speaking to me.

01:50:52.000 It was like, you are a magician and you do a talk show in the basement.

01:50:57.000 Ooh.

01:50:58.000 One day.

01:50:59.000 Yeah, one day.

01:51:00.000 Isn't it crazy though that it had to be the Tonight Show for everybody?

01:51:04.000 It wasn't get your own talk show.

01:51:06.000 Joe, doing stand up, getting that five minutes, having Jim McCauley come see you.

01:51:11.000 I got on Dinah Shore.

01:51:14.000 No, no, Mike Douglas.

01:51:16.000 And I got on Merv Griffin.

01:51:19.000 Didn't do it for me.

01:51:21.000 I needed Jim McCauley to say the Tonight Show is yours.

01:51:24.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:51:24.000 Yeah.

01:51:25.000 Did you do it?

01:51:26.000 You were too young.

01:51:27.000 I was too young.

01:51:28.000 And it's also like, for me, I didn't understand it.

01:51:33.000 Like, I used to like watching when comics were on the Tonight Show, but it didn't.

01:51:38.000 Like, you remember the night Roseanne came on?

01:51:40.000 Yeah.

01:51:40.000 The domestic goddess.

01:51:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:51:42.000 I was like, oh shit, she's funny. 1.00

01:51:44.000 Oh, she was so funny. 1.00

01:51:45.000 She can write.

01:51:46.000 She was so funny.

01:51:47.000 Roseanne was like way ahead of her time. 0.63

01:51:49.000 She was so wild. 0.81

01:51:50.000 There was no one like her when she came out.

01:51:52.000 She's still wild. 0.50

01:51:53.000 She comes to the mothership all the time.

01:51:56.000 And as wild as she is, Joe, the night I called her and said, I need to rearrange the show tonight, her and Tom were coming.

01:52:09.000 And it was the morning that I'd gotten the call from Irvin Magic Johnson that he was HIV positive.

01:52:15.000 So I needed the whole show.

01:52:17.000 And this is how cool she was.

01:52:19.000 She says, Give me another date, but I'm still coming because we love Irvin.

01:52:25.000 And they came and stood on the side that night when Irvin came and talked about it.

01:52:30.000 Wow.

01:52:31.000 She's cool.

01:52:32.000 She's cool. 1.00

01:52:34.000 She's crazy as fuck. 1.00

01:52:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:52:35.000 She's cool. 1.00

01:52:36.000 Aren't we all, and don't we have to be?

01:52:38.000 You have to be.

01:52:39.000 Yeah.

01:52:40.000 We got to be the different kid in the neighborhood.

01:52:40.000 A little bit.

01:52:43.000 Yeah. 0.73

01:52:44.000 If you want to be as good as she was, as people, they don't, you got to go back and watch some of her specials. 0.99

01:52:50.000 She was killing in a way that no woman killed like that.

01:52:53.000 It was different. 1.00

01:52:54.000 It was like aggressive.

01:52:56.000 It was aggressive and angry.

01:52:58.000 It was, it was, oh, she was.

01:52:59.000 With a tent dress on. 0.63

01:53:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:53:00.000 She didn't sell us any sexuality at all. 1.00

01:53:02.000 It was just great writing. 0.99

01:53:04.000 Just great writing and great performing and a lot of I don't give a fuck. 0.98

01:53:08.000 And it was just, oh, Do you find any photos of Rodney with a bathrobe on? 0.96

01:53:13.000 I mean, yes, but not on stage.

01:53:14.000 No?

01:53:15.000 There's only, yeah, I don't even know if they exist.

01:53:21.000 They don't exist.

01:53:22.000 That's crazy.

01:53:23.000 That was a pre show right there.

01:53:25.000 You think he's not ready, but he's dressed to go on.

01:53:28.000 Right.

01:53:29.000 And he's sitting there writing.

01:53:30.000 Look at the phone.

01:53:32.000 Look at that landline.

01:53:32.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:53:34.000 I showed my son one of those.

01:53:35.000 He couldn't believe that to drop down a nine, it was. 0.90

01:53:40.000 And if you missed one of them and fucked it up, you had to start from scratch. 0.92

01:53:43.000 It was crazy. 0.91

01:53:44.000 Yeah.

01:53:45.000 Back in the day, I remember when the iPhone first came out and it didn't have actual buttons like a StarTech.

01:53:56.000 And I was freaking.

01:53:57.000 It's like, how will I know where the L is?

01:54:00.000 I can't feel it.

01:54:01.000 I remember I had a Blackberry back then.

01:54:03.000 You couldn't convince me that I needed to get an iPhone. 0.92

01:54:06.000 I was like, this is ridiculous. 1.00

01:54:07.000 I'm not typing on that stupid thing. 0.99

01:54:09.000 I don't even know where the buttons are. 0.99

01:54:12.000 It makes a click sound. 1.00

01:54:13.000 That's stupid. 1.00

01:54:14.000 Before you know it, we were doing it. 1.00

01:54:15.000 We turned off the click and it says a lot about progress.

01:54:18.000 Don't be afraid of change.

01:54:19.000 Well, now I talk to it.

01:54:21.000 Now I hardly ever text.

01:54:23.000 I just say, text Arsenio.

01:54:25.000 Like, say, hey, man, looking forward to seeing you tonight.

01:54:28.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:54:29.000 And just send it.

01:54:30.000 I make most of my text messages, I just talk to my phone.

01:54:30.000 Yeah.

01:54:34.000 Yeah, pretty much me and Siri.

01:54:37.000 And you can't say the N word to Siri.

01:54:39.000 The other night I was writing a joke. 0.99

01:54:41.000 No, she won't fuck with the N word. 0.99

01:54:44.000 I wonder if Google will. 1.00

01:54:45.000 She's like, I'm not getting canceled and let Alexa have the whole business.

01:54:49.000 I'm not to get.

01:54:51.000 That's right. 0.96

01:54:51.000 I'm writing a joke and I said the N word. 0.96

01:54:54.000 Of course, I didn't say N word. 1.00

01:54:56.000 I said, naked.

01:54:57.000 And Siri would not write it.

01:54:59.000 And then when I kept saying it, she started writing other things that started with an N. You know, but they weren't even words.

01:55:07.000 And I'm like, so they got Siri trained.

01:55:09.000 That's so weird.

01:55:10.000 She's not getting canceled.

01:55:12.000 It's weird that it took, it wasn't even 10 years, and then everybody just got accustomed to having a phone with them all the time.

01:55:22.000 Like, there was, think about like the difference between, like, it was probably like, what is it, like 97, 98 when everybody had those Motorola's, right?

01:55:32.000 It was around then, right?

01:55:33.000 Yeah.

01:55:34.000 It was around then, like 96, 97.

01:55:37.000 My friends laughed at me.

01:55:39.000 My first phone was in a Halliburton briefcase.

01:55:43.000 And you opened the silver Halliburton briefcase, take the phone out, and the phone was maybe 10 inches, you know.

01:55:50.000 And I had an antenna that screwed on the outside of the briefcase because you had this big possum tail.

01:55:56.000 Yeah.

01:55:58.000 I had one on the roof of my car.

01:55:59.000 Oh, yeah.

01:56:00.000 In 1989.

01:56:01.000 Yeah.

01:56:03.000 Wow.

01:56:04.000 Back then, I couldn't imagine that kids would be watching movies on the phone.

01:56:11.000 Playing games, watching movies, and that would be most of their social life was communicating through that thing.

01:56:11.000 Right.

01:56:16.000 Yeah.

01:56:16.000 Remember.

01:56:17.000 There was a time when dudes said to each other, Yo, he got a strong rap, man. 0.96

01:56:21.000 His pimp hand is crazy. 1.00

01:56:23.000 He can get a bitch in a second. 1.00

01:56:24.000 You know, and he can talk. 1.00

01:56:26.000 And now young men don't know what the fuck to say to a woman leaning against a wall at a club. 0.99

01:56:31.000 No, they have dating apps now. 0.99

01:56:33.000 They're just swiping.

01:56:35.000 Crazy.

01:56:36.000 But what I was going to get at, like how quickly the culture changed from, let's just say, 98, when a lot of people had a phone.

01:56:45.000 At least half the people had a phone on them.

01:56:48.000 2008, everybody had a phone.

01:56:49.000 Mm hmm.

01:56:50.000 2018, you'd be crazy to not have a phone.

01:56:53.000 Yeah.

01:56:53.000 20 years like that.

01:56:55.000 Okay, now hold your thought.

01:56:57.000 I remember a time when you and I were the only parents that didn't allow cell phones in the hands of our kids.

01:56:57.000 Okay.

01:57:09.000 Because I remember my son said, Dad, you've got to let me have a phone.

01:57:14.000 And I'm like, I'm not doing it.

01:57:17.000 Until you're a certain age, I'd set it up.

01:57:19.000 And I said, Does everyone in your class have a phone?

01:57:22.000 And he said, No.

01:57:26.000 Two of us don't. 0.99

01:57:28.000 And I realized you were the other parent that was saying, We're not fucking with you. 0.98

01:57:32.000 I gave her a phone that has two numbers on it. 0.98

01:57:35.000 There was a weird little cell phone that you could get for kids where she could dial my phone number or my wife's phone number.

01:57:43.000 It was like, That's it.

01:57:45.000 I forget what it was called.

01:57:46.000 It was like the frog or something like that.

01:57:48.000 Some little cell phone that was safe for kids.

01:57:50.000 So it was safe for kids.

01:57:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:57:51.000 But you didn't have to worry about the things that kids have to worry about now.

01:57:54.000 Like I was watching this thing about Roblox, that game that kids like to play.

01:57:59.000 That they're getting like predators are on roadblocks and they're trying to pick up kids, like child predators.

01:58:07.000 So you have to worry about the games they play.

01:58:10.000 You have to worry about them getting DM'd by creeps.

01:58:13.000 You have to worry about so much more access than just a phone to call people.

01:58:19.000 There was a time when my kid used to play games with a headset on and he would play with people you don't know, just somebody in the world.

01:58:28.000 Yeah.

01:58:28.000 They would gather.

01:58:29.000 And.

01:58:31.000 I remember feeling like, hmm, this can't be good.

01:58:34.000 Right.

01:58:35.000 You know, because these probably aren't all kids he's playing with.

01:58:39.000 A hundred percent.

01:58:41.000 Yeah.

01:58:42.000 Well, when I first started playing video games, you'd have to chat by pulling down a window and you'd have to type in the things that you wanted to say.

01:58:49.000 You couldn't talk to people.

01:58:49.000 Yeah.

01:58:50.000 And then when people started talking to people in video games, I'm like, oh, well, this is crazy.

01:58:50.000 Yeah.

01:58:55.000 But then the problem is, whenever there's anything that kids are doing, you're going to have some creeps that are targeting kids and they've Find where the kids are hanging out, what the kids are doing, and then they try to get those kids to meet them somewhere.

01:58:55.000 Yeah.

01:59:08.000 That's what's scary about cell phones and the internet and all that shit is that it's not just a phone, it's a way that you can connect with people. 0.95

01:59:18.000 And there's always creeps that are trying to connect with kids. 0.97

01:59:21.000 Yeah.

01:59:22.000 I was lucky as a kid because I talk about being a magician and I worked at a magic shop when I was 12, took cash because I couldn't actually have a job.

01:59:31.000 And I remember.

01:59:33.000 Meeting older magicians.

01:59:35.000 I remember going to people's houses to see a new guillotine trick.

01:59:40.000 And my mother worked two jobs.

01:59:42.000 I was a latchkey kid.

01:59:44.000 I never had any problems and I never was warned about it, you know, but I could have been a target because.

01:59:51.000 Yeah, you got lucky.

01:59:53.000 Yeah, I really got lucky because I, you know, when I was writing the book, I'm looking and I'm saying, there was a guy I met who worked until he died for Penn Teller.

02:00:05.000 And this dude, I met him at a magic show.

02:00:07.000 And every year when he would come to Cleveland, I would go sit with him.

02:00:10.000 My mother, Never knew I had this 40 year old friend.

02:00:14.000 You know?

02:00:15.000 Yeah, but he was cool and I got lucky.

02:00:15.000 Weird, right?

02:00:18.000 Yeah, that's the thing about latchkey kids.

02:00:20.000 I mean, the thing is, though, I was watching this YouTube video where they were talking about kids of our age, you know, our generation, latchkey kids that grew up like that are so much more resilient because no problems were solved for you.

02:00:38.000 You had to figure it out on your own.

02:00:40.000 You went out on your own, you were outside.

02:00:43.000 With no cell phone communication, no way to call anybody.

02:00:46.000 When you were 10, 11, wandering around with your friends.

02:00:50.000 It's like it was a different world.

02:00:52.000 You had to figure life out in a way that, like, helicopter parenting and parents that are like tracking their kids, you know, like a lot of parents, like, they're tracking their kids on their phone.

02:01:02.000 They know where they're.

02:01:03.000 You said you were at Debbie's house.

02:01:04.000 You're not at Debbie's house.

02:01:05.000 Where are you right now?

02:01:06.000 Like, everyone is like looking out for their kids, maybe a little too much.

02:01:06.000 Yeah.

02:01:10.000 It's like you want your children to be safe, but you also want them to have. 1.00

02:01:14.000 Like a little bit of freedom to figure out who the fuck they are. 1.00

02:01:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:01:18.000 Gosh, as a kid, when I would tell my mother, I'm spending the night at Kenny's house, I was never at Kenny's house.

02:01:29.000 You know, my girl, when I was 14, had a mom who was a nurse that worked the 11 to 7 shift.

02:01:37.000 So we kind of lived together like a couple.

02:01:40.000 You know, I would tell my mother, I'm going one place, I'd go to Robin's house.

02:01:44.000 I would stay at her house till morning when I went home to get ready for school. 1.00

02:01:47.000 You know, I was like a grown ass man with a woman and shit. 1.00

02:01:50.000 That's wild. 1.00

02:01:51.000 Until one day her parents had the grandparents come to town and surprise her.

02:01:57.000 And so the mom's at work, there's a knock at the door, and she said, It's my grandmother.

02:02:03.000 We had little peepholes.

02:02:04.000 It's my grandmother and my grandfather.

02:02:07.000 And I had to jump with my clothes off their balcony.

02:02:14.000 That was my action adventure teenage period.

02:02:17.000 Yeah, it's a different world.

02:02:19.000 I don't know if it's better or worse, but I think it definitely made you more resilient.

02:02:23.000 And that was this argument that they were making in this YouTube video that that generation is the most emotionally resilient.

02:02:30.000 And that this generation coming up is like the least emotionally resilient.

02:02:33.000 That's why they're always looking for things that are, you know, problems, they're always looking for things that.

02:02:39.000 Bother them, things that cause them anxiety.

02:02:42.000 They're always looking for things that they can't tolerate.

02:02:45.000 Where's my bike helmet?

02:02:48.000 We used to have a car, it was a station wagon, and the back seat you sit facing the opposite way.

02:02:56.000 No seatbelts.

02:02:57.000 That had to be dangerous.

02:02:58.000 It's all dangerous.

02:02:59.000 Those cars were dangerous.

02:03:00.000 They could barely stop.

02:03:02.000 They had drum brakes.

02:03:04.000 You ever drive like an old car?

02:03:05.000 I have old cars, but I have what they call resto mods, where they take an old car, but they put like modern suspension, modern brakes, modern steering.

02:03:14.000 Handles like a new car, but they have all the outside of an old car.

02:03:18.000 And then the dashboard of an old car and all that stuff.

02:03:21.000 That's what I like. 1.00

02:03:22.000 If you drive a real, like if you try to drive a 1968 Camaro, you're like, what is this piece of shit? 1.00

02:03:28.000 They can't brake. 1.00

02:03:29.000 You can't go around a corner.

02:03:31.000 There's no traction.

02:03:33.000 What was your first car?

02:03:34.000 I had a 1973 Chevelle.

02:03:37.000 I had a Cutlass.

02:03:40.000 I had a Cutlass once.

02:03:41.000 Yeah, I had a 70, a 70 Cutlass.

02:03:44.000 Those are great cars.

02:03:45.000 God, they knew how to make a beautiful car back then.

02:03:48.000 You like muscle cars.

02:03:49.000 I love that.

02:03:49.000 Yeah.

02:03:51.000 Well, when I was in high school, like those were the.

02:03:54.000 So I was in high school in the 1980s.

02:03:56.000 I was a freshman in 1981.

02:03:58.000 I had four kids in the 1980s.

02:04:00.000 Wow.

02:04:00.000 I'm much older than you.

02:04:00.000 That's great.

02:04:02.000 In those days, those cars were the cars that we all looked at.

02:04:08.000 Like you couldn't believe when someone had it.

02:04:10.000 I remember I have a 1970 Chevelle that I got to this day.

02:04:16.000 I have it because.

02:04:17.000 When I was like 17, my friend picked me up in a 1970 Chevelle with his buddy, and it was perfect.

02:04:25.000 It was a perfect car.

02:04:26.000 I couldn't believe this guy had it.

02:04:28.000 I was like, how do you have this?

02:04:29.000 And when you say perfect to non car people like me, what does that mean?

02:04:33.000 Oh, first of all, it was what you would call cherry, meaning there was no dents, no scratches, perfect paint.

02:04:40.000 It was beautiful.

02:04:41.000 The sound it made when he pulled up, I couldn't believe it.

02:04:44.000 I think I was 16, because I don't think I had a license yet.

02:04:46.000 And I remember getting in the backseat of the car going, how does this guy have this car?

02:04:51.000 This is crazy.

02:04:53.000 You know what a 1970 Chevelle looks like?

02:04:55.000 With the white stripes, black with the white stripes.

02:04:55.000 Absolutely.

02:04:58.000 That was it.

02:04:58.000 I have that exact car right now.

02:05:00.000 I love it.

02:05:00.000 Whenever I get in, I think about when I was 16, I think about all those years ago.

02:05:06.000 When Burt Reynolds drove up, those pictures we just looked at, when he drove up, he had what was called a Trans Am.

02:05:12.000 Yes!

02:05:13.000 And it had a big eagle on the back.

02:05:14.000 Yes!

02:05:15.000 Smoking the Bandit car.

02:05:16.000 I almost lost my mind.

02:05:18.000 Oh my God.

02:05:18.000 That was the Smoking the Bandit car.

02:05:20.000 That was the car that he had in those movies with Sally Fields.

02:05:23.000 $100 tip.

02:05:25.000 Have you ever been to Jay Leno's spot?

02:05:29.000 With the cars?

02:05:30.000 Yeah.

02:05:31.000 I did his show once.

02:05:32.000 I brought my Corvette on.

02:05:33.000 I have a 1965 Corvette, and I brought it to his show.

02:05:37.000 It's a resto mod too.

02:05:38.000 And Jay drove it around.

02:05:39.000 He's the only person that's ever driven it other than me.

02:05:42.000 It's an honor.

02:05:43.000 But you go to his place, it's like he has warehouses, not a warehouse.

02:05:50.000 There's me and Jay.

02:05:51.000 He never sells one.

02:05:52.000 He swears to me he's never sold a car.

02:05:55.000 So anything he's ever bought, he keeps it.

02:05:57.000 And he recently told me.

02:05:59.000 Why did someone turn it gold?

02:06:00.000 I don't know.

02:06:01.000 I'm afraid you clip it in his thumbnail, someone's YouTube video.

02:06:04.000 No, go to the other one.

02:06:05.000 The other picture, the real picture.

02:06:07.000 I was just clicking around.

02:06:08.000 But go to the real picture so you can see what it looks like.

02:06:10.000 You know what he has now that's kind of cool?

02:06:12.000 He has two tanks, two army tanks.

02:06:16.000 That's us right there.

02:06:17.000 That's my car.

02:06:19.000 Look at that.

02:06:20.000 See, but that, you see that modern suspension, modern wheels.

02:06:24.000 Those are exhaust pipes on the side?

02:06:26.000 Yeah, that car is so fun.

02:06:28.000 Do those things get hot? 0.99

02:06:30.000 Yeah, yeah, you'll fuck your leg up. 1.00

02:06:32.000 If you got shorts on, your leg touches it, you're in trouble. 0.99

02:06:35.000 The outside part won't because the outside is to protect you from the actual exhaust pipes, but underneath it is exhaust pipes.

02:06:44.000 But where Jay's leg is, if he backed up right there, if it was hot, he'd singe the back of his calves.

02:06:50.000 Joe, he has tanks.

02:06:52.000 Yeah, he has everything.

02:06:53.000 Yes, the king of Jordan gave him a tank. 0.99

02:06:56.000 And this motherfucker was riding through Sherman Oaks with the tank. 0.99

02:06:59.000 He drives everything he has, too. 0.99

02:07:01.000 That's the thing about Jay.

02:07:02.000 Like, it's kind of nuts.

02:07:02.000 Yeah.

02:07:03.000 It's a lot of rotation.

02:07:04.000 Well, he crashed one of his motorcycles just a few years ago.

02:07:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:07:09.000 Fucked himself up. 0.98

02:07:10.000 He does a bit about that. 1.00

02:07:12.000 He's fucked himself up without a motorcycle. 0.97

02:07:14.000 Oh, that was the one time we were climbing up a hill? 0.99

02:07:16.000 Yeah, we've done a lot of dates together.

02:07:18.000 We have the same agent, right?

02:07:20.000 And he called us one day and he says, How about you, Jay, and Craig Kilborn?

02:07:25.000 And we call it Kings of Late Night.

02:07:27.000 And so we went out and did like five dates, and it was a lot of fun.

02:07:30.000 And me and Jay enjoyed it, so we added 20 more dates to it.

02:07:35.000 Oh, that ought to be great.

02:07:36.000 Fun.

02:07:37.000 He was a great comic in the 70s.

02:07:39.000 Yeah, people don't know.

02:07:41.000 When I was in college, we would go in the TV lounge and watch Jay Leno.

02:07:48.000 To this day, I remember him saying, I was a philosophy major, and so I just got out of college and opened up a little philosophy shop. 0.94

02:07:55.000 You know, just to explain what bullshit majors were actually being peddled to us. 0.82

02:08:01.000 Well, he was the edgy comic in the 1970s. 0.97

02:08:04.000 And when he would go on Letterman's show, he was like the edgy guy that would sit on the couch and be like, Letterman would say, What's your beef?

02:08:10.000 Yeah, and he would always be mad at something.

02:08:12.000 He was like, people don't realize that.

02:08:14.000 You'd see him as, but again, that carrot, the carrot for him was the Tonight Show.

02:08:18.000 That was more important to him than anything.

02:08:20.000 And once he got that Tonight Show, everything else was like, took a back seat.

02:08:25.000 Did you do Letterman as a stand up?

02:08:27.000 No, no.

02:08:28.000 That was my first.

02:08:31.000 That's a classic.

02:08:32.000 That was a great place for comedy.

02:08:34.000 Because Letterman, like, he really loved comics and he really loved, like, solid stand up.

02:08:40.000 I never liked doing stand up on those talk shows.

02:08:43.000 Is it the five minutes?

02:08:44.000 Yeah.

02:08:45.000 To me, I did a different kind of comedy.

02:08:47.000 My comedy needs some time.

02:08:49.000 I need to cook.

02:08:50.000 You know, I need time to open up.

02:08:52.000 Ideas.

02:08:54.000 And I didn't like censorship.

02:08:56.000 I didn't like TV comedy.

02:08:59.000 I was a nightclub comic.

02:09:00.000 That's all I ever wanted to be.

02:09:02.000 I wanted to be a nightclub comic.

02:09:04.000 I like doing comedy for drunk people.

02:09:06.000 Yeah, but when I first saw you, it all wasn't dirty.

02:09:09.000 Some of it was TV stuff.

02:09:10.000 Well, it wasn't necessarily dirty, but it was free.

02:09:13.000 It was like I was being free.

02:09:15.000 I was doing whatever I wanted to talk about.

02:09:18.000 I didn't like the idea of being constrained by any sorts of standards and practices.

02:09:23.000 It was like.

02:09:24.000 I'm not interested.

02:09:26.000 I've been not interested in that.

02:09:27.000 I worked on my Tonight Show set to try to get on the Tonight Show with Johnny.

02:09:33.000 And the guy would come see me a lot.

02:09:35.000 He would change my jokes.

02:09:37.000 That I hate.

02:09:38.000 I hate when they say, try saying vacation instead of gift shop.

02:09:44.000 And I'm like, oh, let me just do my thing.

02:09:46.000 But after a year of him trying to get my set right, he says, You're not a Johnny comic.

02:09:53.000 Oh, God.

02:09:54.000 You're not a Johnny guy.

02:09:55.000 What does that even mean?

02:09:57.000 But then I got on on a Monday night with Joan, because I guess I was a Joan guy.

02:10:01.000 And then I got to sit with Johnny.

02:10:04.000 Just as a guest to promote coming to America.

02:10:06.000 So finally, full circle from my basement. 0.54

02:10:09.000 That's amazing.

02:10:10.000 I watch a lot of his old clips, like with Don Rickles and all these.

02:10:15.000 Oh, Don Rickles talking about Snooky, the brother in the band.

02:10:19.000 You know, and he would do a noise of a blowgun.

02:10:22.000 It's like, Snooky, you liking this stuff? 0.99

02:10:25.000 You know, and you can't fuck with that now. 1.00

02:10:28.000 No. 0.99

02:10:30.000 There's so much.

02:10:31.000 It's funny how we've come forward into a new era, but we've gone backwards in certain ways.

02:10:37.000 Yeah.

02:10:38.000 You can't joke about certain things anymore.

02:10:40.000 Like, I'm scared to death right now because I'm going to say something that I shouldn't say, and I'm going to be in TLC prison. 0.99

02:10:46.000 They can't do shit to you now. 1.00

02:10:48.000 They can't do shit to you now. 1.00

02:10:49.000 They can just be mad, I guess. 0.99

02:10:50.000 Yeah.

02:10:50.000 Let them be mad.

02:10:51.000 Just don't pay attention.

02:10:51.000 That's what I do.

02:10:52.000 I just don't pay attention.

02:10:53.000 Really?

02:10:54.000 Yeah.

02:10:54.000 I just don't read anything about me.

02:10:57.000 Stay away.

02:10:58.000 That's the best way. 0.94

02:10:59.000 Are you a comic who, when you're on stage, it can be 200 people laughing, but that one person who's not laughing annoys the fuck out of you?

02:11:07.000 No.

02:11:08.000 You can't even enjoy the others.

02:11:09.000 You don't even look at that person.

02:11:10.000 No, those people have their own problems.

02:11:13.000 Yeah.

02:11:14.000 And by the way, sometimes they're just not laughers.

02:11:17.000 Because that person will sometimes come up to you and say, Love what you're doing.

02:11:20.000 Love the new stuff.

02:11:21.000 Some people just like to smile.

02:11:22.000 They don't want to laugh.

02:11:23.000 They just want to sit there and watch, or they just want to take it in, take in the performance.

02:11:27.000 Doesn't mean they don't like it.

02:11:28.000 And then some people just.

02:11:30.000 Are upset by everything.

02:11:31.000 You can't control that.

02:11:33.000 Just control what you, what I would, the only thing that bothers me is if I'm off.

02:11:38.000 That's it.

02:11:39.000 If I'm off, if something's wrong, if I stumble on a word, if I fuck something up, that's the only thing that bothers me.

02:11:44.000 And the audience is like, you can't control that.

02:11:46.000 Why be upset at things you can't control?

02:11:48.000 Because who knows what their trip is?

02:11:50.000 Who knows what they're carrying around with them?

02:11:52.000 As a famous star now, do you ever bomb?

02:11:57.000 I have jokes at BOM for sure.

02:11:59.000 New ones.

02:12:00.000 We trot out a new one.

02:12:02.000 Especially like we do this show called Bottom of the Barrel.

02:12:05.000 And Bottom of the Barrel at the Mothership is there's like a whiskey barrel, and you reach into the whiskey barrel and you pull out premises, just ideas, and you just run with it.

02:12:14.000 That's tonight, actually. 0.98

02:12:15.000 And so you pull out a piece of paper and have a subject, you know, ice cream, sundae, whatever, whatever the fuck it is. 0.96

02:12:23.000 That takes intestinal fortitude. 0.99

02:12:24.000 Oh, a lot of those fucking go nowhere. 1.00

02:12:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:12:28.000 But some of them don't.

02:12:30.000 Every now and then, you get a great premise out of those.

02:12:32.000 And it's like a little premise factory.

02:12:34.000 But the audience knows it there.

02:12:36.000 So it's different than when they go to see you and they paid money and they're expecting a polished show.

02:12:41.000 And you have a new joke.

02:12:44.000 And the new joke is just not right.

02:12:46.000 It's not ready.

02:12:47.000 Something's missing.

02:12:48.000 You're not finding it.

02:12:50.000 And you're trying to work through it.

02:12:51.000 Yeah, it's always going to happen.

02:12:53.000 And if it doesn't happen, you're not taking enough chances.

02:12:55.000 Yeah.

02:12:56.000 See, I'm not as chance driven as you are.

02:13:01.000 I'd be afraid to do that because.

02:13:03.000 My feelings get hurt too easy.

02:13:05.000 Yeah, well, it's part of the process.

02:13:07.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:13:07.000 You're right.

02:13:09.000 We should do the things we fear. 1.00

02:13:10.000 You definitely have to if you want to write new shit. 0.99

02:13:14.000 You're going to have to. 0.99

02:13:15.000 There's that moment where you're like, do I trot this new one out? 1.00

02:13:19.000 Fuck it, let's go. 0.99

02:13:20.000 And, you know, a lot of the new ones, the way they come out, for me at least first, is just a frame. 1.00

02:13:27.000 It doesn't have sides, it doesn't have windows, it doesn't have doors.

02:13:30.000 It's just a frame.

02:13:31.000 And I have to figure out how to make a house out of that frame.

02:13:34.000 That's what I loved about going to the original room back in the day when we were young, watching Richard take out a pack of cigarettes, take a cigarette, and Mitzi had those smoke things that popped, and it got smoke and everything.

02:13:49.000 And Richard would have two minutes, and then he'd have five.

02:13:54.000 Mm hmm.

02:13:54.000 It would just build.

02:13:55.000 Yeah, and it was like when grandma used to make a quilt, and it gets bigger and bigger, and you've got an hour.

02:14:01.000 I used to love watching him develop it.

02:14:04.000 I heard that Richard would go in on a Monday.

02:14:08.000 And have a joke that bombed, and then it would be murdering by Saturday.

02:14:12.000 And that's what he would do.

02:14:13.000 He would just go and figure it out on stage.

02:14:16.000 Damon used to do that a lot.

02:14:18.000 Damon used to go and sit on stage and just sit with a premise, just sit with it.

02:14:24.000 And he would trot it out for like 10 minutes and try to figure it out, and then finally he'd find something, and everybody would be dying.

02:14:31.000 We got away from that earlier, but.

02:14:34.000 I totally got your point.

02:14:36.000 Damon is one of the great ones, and I hope he continues to do stand up and pop out to the clubs because he's one of the great ones that a lot of people don't realize.

02:14:45.000 They don't realize how great he was when he did The Last Stand, that one HBO special that he did way back in the day.

02:14:51.000 It's a phenomenal special.

02:14:53.000 It's phenomenal.

02:14:54.000 He was so good, but he wanted to be a movie star.

02:14:58.000 You know?

02:14:59.000 And like Richard, he had an ability to also be vulnerable and tell the truth about something that most of us wouldn't tell.

02:15:07.000 Like, he talked about having a club foot.

02:15:10.000 Yeah.

02:15:10.000 As a kid.

02:15:11.000 And he was special.

02:15:13.000 And I'm glad he's back out there.

02:15:15.000 Yeah.

02:15:15.000 Well, I think he never really started.

02:15:17.000 You know, one other thing that he did that is very unique Damon brings a camera to all of his shows and he films all of his shows and he archives them.

02:15:28.000 Every set he ever does.

02:15:29.000 Really?

02:15:30.000 And he goes over it.

02:15:30.000 Yep.

02:15:31.000 That's work.

02:15:32.000 It's work.

02:15:33.000 Because one of the things that he does, like I said, is he'll take a premise and just try to find it on stage, try to figure out what about it works, what about it pops.

02:15:43.000 Like, what is it?

02:15:45.000 And you know, I guess like doing that with a camera, and then you can go home, sit, and watch it on the computer, and just go, What is in this?

02:15:54.000 There's something here, I gotta find it, and just look at it from every angle.

02:15:58.000 Look at it over here, look at it over there, try to do it backwards, try to figure out what the makes it work.

02:16:04.000 Yeah, and he would just have no fear of silence.

02:16:08.000 See, that's that's the sentence right there when it's quiet in the comedy club, I lose my mind.

02:16:16.000 Chris Rock does that too.

02:16:17.000 Chris Rock did a lot of that at the comedy store.

02:16:20.000 He would come in and just, he would have material that he was working on.

02:16:23.000 Like one time I remember I brought him up on stage and everyone's going crazy.

02:16:28.000 Chris Rock's here.

02:16:29.000 They're cheering, cheering, cheering.

02:16:30.000 And he goes, Relax, relax.

02:16:32.000 It ain't going to be that funny. 0.99

02:16:34.000 Just let people know that I'm working on some new shit. 0.95

02:16:36.000 This ain't going to be that funny. 0.98

02:16:38.000 But with confidence, like everybody already knew he's funny. 0.69

02:16:44.000 They already saw Binger and Blacker.

02:16:45.000 They already saw his specials. 0.57

02:16:47.000 It was Bring the Pain.

02:16:48.000 Everybody already knew.

02:16:50.000 The one where he shot with three different outfits in three different places.

02:16:53.000 I hated that one.

02:16:54.000 You didn't like that one?

02:16:55.000 No.

02:16:56.000 Not that I didn't like the material.

02:16:57.000 I didn't like the idea of swapping outfits.

02:17:01.000 The problem with that is you realize he's saying the same thing in all these different places.

02:17:06.000 Don't worry.

02:17:07.000 But it takes away from the magic of a performer.

02:17:10.000 I want to see you, and I don't want anything to distract me from these.

02:17:14.000 I don't want to say, oh, he just performs this the same way everywhere.

02:17:19.000 I want you to just be saying it.

02:17:21.000 The magic, like the trick is.

02:17:23.000 You are in the moment with whatever you're talking about.

02:17:26.000 If you're changing outfits and all of a sudden you're in Johannesburg and now you're in Cleveland, like, uh uh uh, don't do that to me. 0.99

02:17:33.000 Why you got a leather jacket on in the beginning and in the punchline you got a fucking silk shirt? 0.94

02:17:39.000 Uh uh, don't do that. 0.97

02:17:40.000 See, I saw it as a guy creatively trying to find new horizons and do different things. 0.98

02:17:46.000 Some horizons suck.

02:17:50.000 It's not that the jokes were great, it's like he's a great comic. 0.96

02:17:53.000 It's not that.

02:17:54.000 It's like I just didn't like the idea of changing outfits.

02:17:56.000 If I was friends with him back then, I would say, Don't, I don't like it at all.

02:18:00.000 And I would explain.

02:18:01.000 The problem is, you're taking people out of the premise, and then there's a new additional thing that they have to think of.

02:18:06.000 Oh, this is a different set.

02:18:07.000 Oh, he's wearing different clothes.

02:18:09.000 It's a new thing to distract you from the most, the primary thing.

02:18:13.000 The primary thing is, What are you talking about?

02:18:15.000 Like, what is this thing you're talking about?

02:18:16.000 Let me get inside your head while you explain this thing that's so hilarious.

02:18:21.000 But if you're doing that and changing outfits and changing stages, like, I know you perform in different places, I know you wear different clothes.

02:18:28.000 Don't show me right now.

02:18:30.000 In retrospect, I wonder how he looks at that special.

02:18:33.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:18:34.000 I mean, he never did it again.

02:18:36.000 Yeah.

02:18:37.000 Well, you don't want to do it again.

02:18:39.000 I mean, he did it once, he tried it.

02:18:39.000 Right.

02:18:41.000 Different people like to do different things and try them.

02:18:43.000 I just didn't like that for that reason.

02:18:45.000 I felt like it was an added element that took me away from the premise itself.

02:18:50.000 And by the way, something that's come out of this conversation in my head is the guys who are the best seem to go deeper and work the hardest.

02:18:59.000 I mean, when you talk about.

02:19:01.000 Archiving your practice sets.

02:19:03.000 Yeah.

02:19:04.000 All of them.

02:19:04.000 Damon has all of them.

02:19:06.000 And he told me this years ago because I saw him at the improv.

02:19:10.000 He was in the lab.

02:19:11.000 We were in the big room and he was in the lab.

02:19:13.000 This was not that long ago.

02:19:14.000 When I say years ago, like 10, nine years ago, something like that.

02:19:18.000 And I go, You record all of them?

02:19:21.000 He's like, Every set since like 1990 something.

02:19:24.000 He goes, I record them all.

02:19:26.000 I got this camera.

02:19:27.000 I take them all and I archive them.

02:19:29.000 I put them on my computer.

02:19:30.000 I'm like, Whoa.

02:19:31.000 It made me think. 1.00

02:19:32.000 Fuck, I'm lazy. 1.00

02:19:33.000 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking. 0.99

02:19:35.000 And I'm also thinking, what an amazing documentary if we could go through the history of Damon's personal archives.

02:19:45.000 That would be a great.

02:19:46.000 Oh, yeah.

02:19:47.000 I think there's a special there.

02:19:48.000 Probably.

02:19:49.000 Yeah, probably.

02:19:50.000 But I mean, I think that's just part of his creative process.

02:19:54.000 And again, I just think people don't realize, especially in the 90s, the early 90s, what a monster he was on stage.

02:20:02.000 Yeah.

02:20:03.000 He was a monster.

02:20:04.000 He was one of the first guys that was like a really famous guy that I saw at the store. 0.99

02:20:08.000 I came to the store in 94, and he was one of the first guys who was like, Oh shit, Damon Wayans is here. 0.50

02:20:14.000 Like, it was weird. 0.81

02:20:15.000 It was like weird when people would show up, like you'd seen him in movies and shit, and all of a sudden they're there in real life. 0.69

02:20:20.000 Like, you know, I was just coming from New York.

02:20:22.000 I didn't know anybody, and I was like, This is so strange.

02:20:24.000 I can't believe I'm around these people.

02:20:26.000 So you went from Boston to New York.

02:20:28.000 Boston to New York.

02:20:29.000 Catch a rising star.

02:20:30.000 Where'd you work out in New York in those days?

02:20:32.000 Well, I did the Boston Comedy Club.

02:20:35.000 You know, the little place that Barry Katz had.

02:20:37.000 I did The Cellar.

02:20:40.000 Jay Moore's manager, right?

02:20:42.000 Yes.

02:20:42.000 I did Catch Rising Star back when that was there.

02:20:46.000 I did Comic Strip.

02:20:50.000 Yeah, I did The Strip.

02:20:51.000 Yeah.

02:20:52.000 I did the clubs in town.

02:20:54.000 I did Dangerfields a lot.

02:20:55.000 But honestly, when I lived in New York, I really liked doing the road more because when I did the road, I could make money.

02:21:02.000 So, like, I came up in Boston, and in Boston, You made a lot of your money not in the clubs in town, but you made a lot of your money in like the bar shows, you know, outside of town in the suburbs.

02:21:14.000 And the thing about that is like you could headline.

02:21:17.000 And so you could do 45 minutes or an hour.

02:21:20.000 And that allowed me to grow and like to really become a headliner.

02:21:25.000 Whereas like I found like a lot of the New York comics that I would go on the road with when I would work with them, even when I was a middle act and they were a headliner, they had like these 10 and 15 minute sets that they'd stitch together.

02:21:40.000 To make an hour.

02:21:41.000 Whereas the guys that I work with in Boston, like the big headliners in Boston, they had a real hour. 0.99

02:21:46.000 Like that fucking, that was an hour of thunder. 0.93

02:21:48.000 You know, they had a beginning, a middle, and an end, and it was like tight. 1.00

02:21:52.000 It was tight.

02:21:54.000 And I felt like I could do sets in New York, but I don't think it's really helping my career, right?

02:22:00.000 There's no one there to see me.

02:22:03.000 I felt like I'm going to make money.

02:22:05.000 Like I could do a set in New York and I make 25 bucks, or I could do a set in Connecticut and make $250.

02:22:11.000 I was like, I'll go to Connecticut.

02:22:13.000 Plus, like the people are more fun.

02:22:15.000 They're more loose. 1.00

02:22:16.000 They're a bunch of fucking crazy drunks. 1.00

02:22:18.000 I love doing Long Island. 1.00

02:22:20.000 I love doing New Jersey.

02:22:22.000 I like doing the road more.

02:22:24.000 That's what I liked.

02:22:25.000 I think I'm a product of my childhood environment. 0.97

02:22:31.000 I discovered stand up because I was a drummer, had a band, I was a magician, had doves, boxes, and shit, and then my house burned down. 0.80

02:22:38.000 So I lost everything. 0.91

02:22:41.000 But I had gone to an Al Green concert, and Al Green had a comic come out.

02:22:46.000 House lights are on, people are still making their way to their seats, and this guy slowly gets them, and then the lights go down, and by the time he gets to 30 minutes, he's killing.

02:22:59.000 And all he had was a glass of juice, something on the stool.

02:23:04.000 And this is a kid who just lost his house and his cymbals and his tom toms and his doves and his boxes.

02:23:08.000 And I'm like, that's me.

02:23:10.000 Johnny was a stand up.

02:23:12.000 So I'm still dreaming.

02:23:14.000 Wow.

02:23:15.000 And to this day, even when I start making a lot of money, after seeing that guy, I loved opening for people.

02:23:23.000 I went on the road with everybody from Lou Rawls to Patti LaBelle.

02:23:29.000 Still to this day, I'm comfortable doing 30 minutes because that's what I did.

02:23:33.000 I had money.

02:23:34.000 Like, I would come to the comedy store and I would have a really nice car because I'd spend most of my time on the road with Patrice Russian and Johnny Guitar Watson.

02:23:45.000 Oh, wow.

02:23:46.000 That's a different world.

02:23:47.000 Opening for musicians is a different kind of comedy because, like, they're not there to see you.

02:23:52.000 And that's what I found to be the challenge. 0.98

02:23:54.000 It's like, I'm going to make you motherfuckers who don't know me and are mad because a lot of people would look at you like, that ain't one of the temptations. 0.99

02:24:02.000 Right. 0.99

02:24:03.000 You know, I got to get them.

02:24:05.000 And I liked that challenge.

02:24:07.000 It is a real challenge because there's a lot of people like, boo!

02:24:11.000 Bring on Metallica!

02:24:11.000 Yeah.

02:24:12.000 Yeah.

02:24:13.000 Yeah, they don't want to see you.

02:24:16.000 They want to see the music act.

02:24:18.000 I opened for Blood, Sweat, and Tears once.

02:24:20.000 Wow.

02:24:21.000 And they really did not want to see me.

02:24:23.000 You think the Johnny Guitar Watson audience didn't want to see me? 1.00

02:24:26.000 Them motherfuckers for Blood, Sweat, and Tears, not fucking with me. 1.00

02:24:30.000 Well, it's definitely running with weights on, though. 1.00

02:24:33.000 If you can make those people laugh, boy, you take those weights off and go to a comedy club where they're there to see you.

02:24:38.000 It's like, oh.

02:24:40.000 Just there to see comedy made it easier.

02:24:43.000 Yeah, I just don't want to perform for people that aren't there to see comedy.

02:24:46.000 But there's a value in it, I think.

02:24:49.000 But that's when you're young.

02:24:50.000 Yeah.

02:24:51.000 And I had a nice car in a condo because I had just come off the road with Aretha.

02:24:58.000 Yeah, I did a few of those.

02:24:59.000 I opened up for Bon Jovi once.

02:25:01.000 I opened up for Bon Jovi for VH1.

02:25:03.000 They had a theater in the round show, like a performance in the round. 1.00

02:25:07.000 My job was to open up for Bon Jovi and then get the pretty girls and move them to the front so that they could be on camera. 0.99

02:25:14.000 That's what they told me to do. 0.99

02:25:15.000 Yeah.

02:25:15.000 So I did some stand up and then I had to get people like, come up here, come closer.

02:25:21.000 Yeah.

02:25:22.000 Yeah.

02:25:23.000 I remember those times being on the road and if there were six girls in the green room and you're opening for the Temptations, Number six is yours. 0.93

02:25:33.000 The other five go first to the Timbs. 0.94

02:25:36.000 Yeah.

02:25:37.000 That's a different world opening for musicians.

02:25:40.000 That's a hard world.

02:25:41.000 And I know a lot of people made a living just traveling with bands.

02:25:45.000 And that's all they did.

02:25:46.000 They would just open up for bands.

02:25:48.000 Yeah, I would open up for RB acts.

02:25:51.000 And as a matter of fact, I got discovered by a jazz singer, Nancy Wilson.

02:25:55.000 And I used to love jazz audiences because that was the perfect type of music for a comic.

02:26:01.000 Because they were mellow. 0.99

02:26:03.000 Jazz audience don't scream, get the fuck off. 0.99

02:26:05.000 Right, right, right. 0.99

02:26:06.000 They just, you know, they.

02:26:08.000 Alonzo Bowden, he does jazz tours still.

02:26:11.000 Like, he'll do like a jazz cruise ship.

02:26:15.000 Yeah.

02:26:16.000 You know, like, and he'll do stand up with the jazz audiences.

02:26:19.000 Hey, every year.

02:26:21.000 But he loves jazz.

02:26:22.000 I love jazz too, and I remember going to see the Playboy Jazz Festival, and Bill Cosby was the host at the Hollywood Bowl.

02:26:31.000 I host that every year now.

02:26:33.000 I still love jazz.

02:26:34.000 And that's the coolest two days of my summer.

02:26:37.000 What is it about jazz?

02:26:39.000 What do you love about it?

02:26:40.000 Oh, about the actual.

02:26:43.000 By the way, the coolest experience was sitting on the beach in Malibu with Miles Davis.

02:26:51.000 After he came on the show once, he says, Why don't you come over to the house and hang out?

02:26:55.000 And he was a painter.

02:26:57.000 And he was sitting with his trumpet.

02:26:59.000 It was a red trumpet.

02:27:00.000 I'd never seen a red trumpet, like a crimson trumpet.

02:27:03.000 And it was sitting beside him, and he wouldn't use an easel.

02:27:07.000 He had the canvas on a table, and he'd roll a new piece out, and he would paint.

02:27:13.000 He said, You ever thought about painting?

02:27:15.000 No, I'm not a good artist.

02:27:17.000 But being a jazz fan, that was the coolest moment ever.

02:27:23.000 And what do I like about it?

02:27:26.000 I almost equate my comedy to jazz because I love to say, I'm going in D, guys, and just play, you know, as a stand up.

02:27:36.000 You know, I used to.

02:27:38.000 Love to equate how I work to jazz.

02:27:41.000 But it takes a very specific type of person to be like a jazz fan that really enjoys listening to jazz.

02:27:47.000 I'm also a musician, and I know that some of the most respected musicians in my mind are jazz musicians.

02:27:55.000 You know, the intricacy, spending time with Quincy Jones, who was from the world of jazz and a former trumpet player, and all that stuff.

02:28:09.000 Then he ends up, the year I meet him, he plays for me these tracks.

02:28:13.000 And I don't know what I'm about to listen to.

02:28:15.000 And he says, You hear this?

02:28:16.000 He takes, he slides all the slides down.

02:28:19.000 He says, Listen to this.

02:28:20.000 And he plays this thing tink, I'm like, What is that?

02:28:24.000 He says, You ever heard of Sheila E. Man?

02:28:27.000 And I said, Yeah, the Escovedo family.

02:28:30.000 And I know the family.

02:28:31.000 And he says, She put different amounts of water in little pop bottles.

02:28:36.000 And that's her tinging on those bottles.

02:28:39.000 Then he starts bringing up the pots.

02:28:41.000 And you hear the bass and the drums, and you realize you're listening to stuff from off the wall.

02:28:47.000 And.

02:28:50.000 It's just this incredible moment when I realized, yo, he's getting ready to bring Michael back in a crazy way.

02:28:57.000 I'm listening to, you know, you got me working, working day and night, you know, and he'd just take out everything and just have Michael's voice.

02:29:04.000 And I'd never been in a recording studio.

02:29:06.000 And he's at the board, 18 channel track studio.

02:29:12.000 And then he says, You're from Ohio, right?

02:29:14.000 And he had seen me do stand up at the Roxy and invited me to his studio.

02:29:17.000 And he says, You're from Ohio, right?

02:29:19.000 And I said, Yeah.

02:29:20.000 And so he says, Let me play you this, man.

02:29:21.000 And you have to take big, giant reels and put them on this machine.

02:29:25.000 And he put the reels on, and the song starts.

02:29:28.000 And he says, This is a scratch track.

02:29:29.000 And I'm like, What's that?

02:29:30.000 He says, That's a demo.

02:29:31.000 And he says, They want me to find a singer for this.

02:29:34.000 And he plays me James Ingram, Find 100 Ways, and James Ingram Just Once.

02:29:41.000 Brilliant, beautiful songs.

02:29:42.000 And I'm like, what's wrong with that guy?

02:29:44.000 He said, Yeah, I'm thinking about it, man.

02:29:45.000 He's pretty good.

02:29:46.000 He's pretty good.

02:29:46.000 And it ends up being the James Ingram from Ohio.

02:29:50.000 And that was an incredible day.

02:29:52.000 But I tell that story to say this great jazz musician had this talent that other producers didn't have because of his music genius.

02:30:05.000 And he was able to bring us the Off the Wall album and put Michael back in the mix.

02:30:10.000 Yeah, layers and layers to the sound. 0.97

02:30:13.000 That's the thing when you hear a song, you don't realize how much shit is going on in the background. 0.99

02:30:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:30:18.000 Sheila E. with Pop Bottles. 1.00

02:30:20.000 Yeah, crazy.

02:30:22.000 I love that day.

02:30:24.000 That's a favorite time because Michael had been missing, you know, and I had bought the Moving Violation album.

02:30:30.000 So I knew he needed Quincy.

02:30:32.000 Wow.

02:30:34.000 Yeah, there's some geniuses of music, man.

02:30:36.000 I had Rick Rubin on the podcast, and he's explaining his creative process and just like, that guy's out there.

02:30:44.000 Yeah, I had to go his way when I started the talk show that I took over for Joan Rivers.

02:30:44.000 Yeah.

02:30:51.000 When I first had the idea that I want to try to find my own friends of the show, I want to find my show.

02:30:59.000 And I put on LL Cool J doing a song called I'm Bad.

02:31:06.000 And that night I found what I was going to do, win or lose.

02:31:10.000 Next, I booked The Freaks Come Out at Night, Houdini.

02:31:14.000 Oh, I remember that.

02:31:16.000 I found my home.

02:31:17.000 When you did the Joan Rivers thing, did you think that that was going to lead to you doing your own show?

02:31:21.000 Absolutely.

02:31:22.000 You did.

02:31:23.000 I was like, I am.

02:31:24.000 Because Joan leaves, goes through all the stuff she's going through, and they give me this show for 11 weeks, and it starts to get numbers.

02:31:35.000 And I know that she left because of a lack of numbers. 0.99

02:31:40.000 And I'm like, oh, this shit is mine. 0.99

02:31:42.000 So when I come back from coming to America, I'm going to come back to Fox and do this show. 1.00

02:31:48.000 And one day I walk into the.

02:31:52.000 And I realized they had hired Conan O'Brien to create a show.

02:31:57.000 And I think the show was called The Wilton North Report or something like that.

02:32:02.000 But I realized I wasn't in their future.

02:32:05.000 So, Paramount, they were popping over to say hi, sending me flowers.

02:32:13.000 And when I finished coming to America, actually halfway through, they were like, when you finish, you can do that talk show here in first run syndication.

02:32:22.000 And they had to explain that to me.

02:32:24.000 And at the same time, I was being pitched by the King brothers who created Oprah.

02:32:29.000 So I kind of understood that first run syndication could work, except Oprah had ABC Networks behind her, which is good.

02:32:35.000 I had some CBS affiliates.

02:32:37.000 And, uh, It all worked out.

02:32:41.000 Right now, with the exception of Byron Allen, I don't think anybody gets rich in first run syndication.

02:32:48.000 Well, he's a very unusual case, you know?

02:32:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:32:51.000 I mean, he's figured out a cheat code.

02:32:54.000 Like, Byron Allen, you know, I heard that.

02:32:56.000 And when they cheat him, he sues them and wins.

02:33:00.000 I think Byron Allen's show Comics Unleashed is going to replace Colbert.

02:33:04.000 Absolutely.

02:33:05.000 That was just announced this week.

02:33:06.000 Late Show will be replaced by Byron Allen's Comics Unleashed.

02:33:06.000 Yeah.

02:33:10.000 That's crazy.

02:33:11.000 That's how.

02:33:12.000 Isn't that weird?

02:33:13.000 Like, late shows just don't work anymore.

02:33:17.000 They just don't have the same thing anymore.

02:33:20.000 Like, that standard model show.

02:33:22.000 Where people, like, I don't think they do well anymore.

02:33:22.000 Yeah.

02:33:25.000 And they're expensive, Joe.

02:33:26.000 Oh, I can imagine.

02:33:27.000 They were saying the Colbert show was costing them, like, $50 million a year to keep it on the air.

02:33:33.000 I don't understand it.

02:33:34.000 Like, how?

02:33:35.000 How's it cost you so much money?

02:33:37.000 Oh, gosh.

02:33:37.000 Well.

02:33:38.000 But you know what I'm saying?

02:33:39.000 Like, you have ads.

02:33:40.000 When there were three channels, though, and only one had a talk show, everybody was there.

02:33:44.000 Of course.

02:33:45.000 And it.

02:33:46.000 It made sense.

02:33:47.000 It made dollars and cents.

02:33:49.000 There's also the problem in that, when you compare it to things that are on the internet, is that you have to stop conversations every seven minutes for a commercial.

02:33:57.000 That's an issue.

02:33:58.000 It's an issue with depth.

02:34:00.000 You don't get to go.

02:34:01.000 Like, you and I have been talking for two hours and 40 minutes.

02:34:04.000 Wow.

02:34:05.000 Yeah.

02:34:05.000 So, like, when you're doing this kind of thing, you just flow.

02:34:09.000 Everything flows.

02:34:10.000 You just have a conversation, you just have a good time.

02:34:13.000 It's so different when you're stuck in this format where you only have an hour.

02:34:18.000 Everything is like, you got to cut to the commercial in five, fourth, like, we'll be right back.

02:34:23.000 Like, we'll be right back.

02:34:24.000 Where are you going?

02:34:25.000 Stay here.

02:34:25.000 Like, no, you have to sell Tide.

02:34:28.000 You know, it's like that format is so limited.

02:34:31.000 It's so restrictive that people knowing that there's other things out there now where you could just go and watch it anytime you want.

02:34:40.000 You don't have to tune in at 11 p.m.

02:34:42.000 Yeah, we used to have Musk CTV.

02:34:44.000 And we would all gather as a nation to watch the finale of Cheers.

02:34:44.000 Yeah.

02:34:48.000 Yep.

02:34:48.000 And now we don't do anything together.

02:34:50.000 Nope.

02:34:51.000 No, except sports, except like Super Bowl. 0.99

02:34:54.000 There's only sports, live boxing events, UFC, that kind of shit, where it's live. 0.93

02:34:58.000 That is the only thing that people all watch together. 0.97

02:35:01.000 Yeah.

02:35:02.000 Did you watch Chris Rock Live?

02:35:02.000 That's it.

02:35:05.000 Selective outrage.

02:35:07.000 I didn't watch his live special.

02:35:08.000 I watched it after, but I didn't watch it when it was live.

02:35:11.000 So you knew it was available.

02:35:12.000 I was busy. 0.99

02:35:13.000 When we grew up, shit wasn't available the second time. 0.98

02:35:17.000 But I did a live special on Netflix for that very reason, just because I thought it was scary. 0.96

02:35:21.000 Just because my last one I did live. 0.99

02:35:23.000 And I only did it live because the first time they asked me, I said, no, fuck that. 1.00

02:35:28.000 And then I was like, why are you being such a pussy? 1.00

02:35:30.000 And I remember driving home. 1.00

02:35:31.000 I had a conversation with my manager and I called her right back.

02:35:33.000 I go, let me decide tomorrow.

02:35:36.000 I go, I'm thinking about this. 0.99

02:35:37.000 Because I was driving home feeling like I was a pussy for not wanting to do it live. 1.00

02:35:37.000 Hold on. 1.00

02:35:41.000 And now, in retrospect, what did you get out of agreeing to do it live?

02:35:45.000 Fear.

02:35:48.000 You wanted to feel that.

02:35:49.000 Yeah, I wanted to be nervous.

02:35:51.000 I was legitimately nervous.

02:35:52.000 I never get nervous for shows anymore.

02:35:54.000 I get the same kind of.

02:35:56.000 When you're killing a wild hog, I heard you talk about killing a wild hog.

02:36:00.000 When you go hunting like that, it's the same kind of.

02:36:03.000 It's a very different kind of fear.

02:36:05.000 That's a primal thing.

02:36:06.000 That's very different.

02:36:07.000 That's a very different thing.

02:36:08.000 That's like, that's a life or death.

02:36:11.000 You're in that's a weird primal connection with nature where you're going to eat this thing, you're sneaking up on this thing that has these survival instincts and sense of smell, and tears pop up.

02:36:24.000 Yeah, and you have you know, you don't want to it up either.

02:36:26.000 You have one moment to take a shot.

02:36:29.000 That's even more intense, honestly.

02:36:31.000 Like elk hunting with a bow and arrow is even more intense than doing a live comedy special, if you could believe it.

02:36:38.000 Yeah.

02:36:38.000 Wow.

02:36:39.000 Yeah.

02:36:39.000 I believe it.

02:36:40.000 I like things that scare me.

02:36:42.000 I like things that are scary to do because I think it's good for you.

02:36:46.000 Except cocaine.

02:36:47.000 Yeah.

02:36:48.000 I don't want to ruin my life.

02:36:49.000 That's the problem.

02:36:50.000 I just, like I said, I don't hear any success stories from cocaine.

02:36:54.000 No.

02:36:55.000 You know, nobody's like, nobody's got like a meth story.

02:36:58.000 It's like, man, I started doing meth and I started seeing the world for what it really is.

02:37:03.000 Started being more at peace.

02:37:04.000 I was living in the moment.

02:37:06.000 You don't hear it.

02:37:07.000 Nobody says, right before I invented the hard drive, I did Coke for three days.

02:37:11.000 Right.

02:37:11.000 No.

02:37:12.000 No.

02:37:13.000 I'm not interested in anything that's going to ruin my life, but I'm interested in things that are going to help me grow and help me expand my capacity to do things that are scary.

02:37:25.000 Would you do stand up live again?

02:37:27.000 100%.

02:37:28.000 Yeah, I'm thinking about doing my next one live again, too.

02:37:28.000 Okay.

02:37:31.000 I liked it.

02:37:32.000 Did you make any mistakes that.

02:37:34.000 I didn't make any mistakes, but I prepared more than I ever prepared before.

02:37:34.000 No.

02:37:38.000 One of the things I did, I listened to my recordings every night and I wrote out my act over and over and over and over again.

02:37:45.000 I wrote it out.

02:37:46.000 I wrote it out both on paper, like hand to paper, and I wrote it out with keys, like typing it on a laptop.

02:37:53.000 I did it over and over again.

02:37:55.000 I listened to recordings.

02:37:56.000 I watched recordings.

02:37:57.000 I had way more preparation than I had ever done before for any other show.

02:38:01.000 The night that you did it, did you change anything or do anything new?

02:38:04.000 No.

02:38:05.000 No.

02:38:06.000 But I was free.

02:38:07.000 I felt very loose.

02:38:08.000 Once the show started, I felt like a regular show.

02:38:11.000 I didn't, because I was prepared.

02:38:13.000 But it's just like a fight.

02:38:14.000 Like if you go into a fight and you're like, oh, I should have done more road work, oh, I should have sparred more.

02:38:19.000 Oh, I should hit the pads more.

02:38:20.000 That's not a good place to be.

02:38:22.000 To hope that you could pull it off, you have to be 100% prepared.

02:38:26.000 And that's the thing about doing a live show as opposed to usually when I would film a special, I would have four shows.

02:38:34.000 So I'd film all four of them and I'd be like, I'll find one of them is going to be great.

02:38:38.000 I'll just use that one.

02:38:40.000 But when it's just one and the whole world, like millions of people are watching simultaneously, it's very scary.

02:38:47.000 Makes you prepare.

02:38:48.000 Yeah, it makes you prepare. 0.96

02:38:50.000 It makes you prepare and it also, it's like it's fucking fun to do something that scares the shit out of you. 0.96

02:38:56.000 Like, let's go. 0.99

02:38:57.000 Where did you shoot it?

02:38:58.000 Go, San Antonio.

02:39:01.000 Okay.

02:39:01.000 Yeah.

02:39:02.000 That's cool.

02:39:03.000 Yeah.

02:39:04.000 Yeah, I've only done one Netflix.

02:39:05.000 I barely leave Texas these days. 0.87

02:39:07.000 I fucking love it here. 0.97

02:39:07.000 Really? 0.97

02:39:09.000 I love it.

02:39:10.000 I love it.

02:39:11.000 Yeah, it was amazing when you made the move, man, because that's why I asked you when we first started talking.

02:39:16.000 It's like, were you thinking about this in LA, but way back, like 20 years ago?

02:39:21.000 I was thinking 20 years ago about getting out.

02:39:24.000 I moved to Colorado for a little while in 2009.

02:39:29.000 But for legal weed?

02:39:31.000 No, no, no, no.

02:39:33.000 I just wanted to get out.

02:39:34.000 I just wanted to try, but I went too crazy.

02:39:37.000 I got a house in the mountains that was 8,500 feet above sea level.

02:39:42.000 It was like, it was too much.

02:39:44.000 But when I came back to LA, I always had this thing like, eventually I got to get out of here.

02:39:50.000 First of all, I always thought LA is 100% going to have a massive earthquake one day.

02:39:56.000 Yeah.

02:39:57.000 Like a massive earthquake where everything fucks up and falls apart.

02:40:00.000 You lived through the North Ridge earthquake, though.

02:40:02.000 I didn't.

02:40:02.000 Oh.

02:40:03.000 I came to California right after it happened.

02:40:05.000 Okay.

02:40:06.000 And when I got there, like parts of one of the freeways was collapsed on the other one.

02:40:10.000 I was like, this is nuts.

02:40:11.000 The freeways fall down here.

02:40:13.000 This is crazy.

02:40:14.000 So I feel like I've always been thinking that there's going to come a time where that place just breaks off and sinks into the ocean.

02:40:21.000 And it's just not well run.

02:40:24.000 Like the whole thing is like just waiting for one little catastrophe.

02:40:28.000 There's very little coordination, very little.

02:40:32.000 People don't, they don't, there's not like a sense of community in the greater Los Angeles area like you get in a smaller place.

02:40:40.000 Like Austin.

02:40:41.000 Austin feels like a small town that has everything you want.

02:40:46.000 Whereas LA just feels like a poorly run, bureaucracy driven, chaotic shill game. 1.00

02:40:54.000 It's like just a shell game of bullshit and money and people just grifting and fucking the homeless situation is nuts. 1.00

02:41:06.000 Like everything's nuts in LA. 1.00

02:41:08.000 It's just beyond fixing, I think.

02:41:10.000 Here in Austin, a lot of homeless?

02:41:12.000 Not nearly as many.

02:41:13.000 I mean, it's a very small problem.

02:41:15.000 You're always going to have homeless people because you're always going to have mental illness.

02:41:18.000 You're always going to have drug addiction.

02:41:19.000 You're always going to have some people that have problems.

02:41:21.000 But in comparison, like, Skid Row is 50 blocks.

02:41:26.000 Yeah.

02:41:27.000 50 blocks.

02:41:28.000 Five zero blocks of homeless people just outside, just camped out.

02:41:34.000 I left a Laker game recently and went through that area.

02:41:38.000 It's nuts.

02:41:39.000 Broke my heart, man.

02:41:40.000 It broke my heart in 2005.

02:41:42.000 Yeah.

02:41:43.000 I was filming Fear Factor downtown in like 2005.

02:41:47.000 Shout out to David Hurwitz.

02:41:49.000 You know, Dave.

02:41:50.000 Yeah.

02:41:51.000 He was my intern.

02:41:52.000 I set him up for you.

02:41:54.000 I taught him so you could come and get worms for you.

02:41:57.000 That's crazy.

02:41:58.000 Yeah.

02:41:59.000 We were filming downtown and I went for a.

02:42:01.000 I was driving home and I took a wrong turn and all of a sudden I was in Skid Row.

02:42:04.000 I was like, this is crazy.

02:42:06.000 And this was back then and no one was talking about it back then.

02:42:09.000 I was like, there's so many homeless people.

02:42:11.000 It's like a zombie movie.

02:42:12.000 I remember I came to the set the next day.

02:42:14.000 I was like, you guys ever go this way and take a left? 0.99

02:42:17.000 It's fucking nuts. 0.99

02:42:18.000 There's so many homeless people. 1.00

02:42:20.000 Like, and Dave.

02:42:21.000 They figured out a way to keep them there.

02:42:24.000 They just pushed people there like they started doing it decades ago, where they would take all the problem people out of Los Angeles and Beverly Hills and they would just bring them to downtown and go, You got to stay here.

02:42:34.000 And that's what created Skid Row.

02:42:36.000 When we were kids, I used to hear about mental institutions.

02:42:41.000 We don't have that anymore.

02:42:42.000 Oh, they shut them down during the Reagan administration.

02:42:45.000 That was one of the giant errors of society when they shut down all the mental health institutions and they just let all these people just exist in the street with schizophrenia.

02:42:54.000 And just let them do drugs.

02:42:56.000 And in some places, give them drugs and give them needles and encourage them to come there and give them money so they could stay on the street.

02:43:04.000 Austin loves you, but you ever think about back in the day not leaving California and running for governor? 1.00

02:43:10.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:43:11.000 I don't want to be a politician. 1.00

02:43:12.000 Why would I want that job?

02:43:13.000 It's a terrible job.

02:43:15.000 The problem you see, you want to help.

02:43:16.000 Yeah, you ain't helping nothing, man. 1.00

02:43:18.000 You're going to get killed. 0.99

02:43:20.000 My help would be to expose all the fraud and lock everybody up, and then they'll wind up killing me. 0.99

02:43:25.000 Then you'd lose the big money from the rich.

02:43:27.000 They're not going to give it to me anyway.

02:43:28.000 It's like, I'm not the guy.

02:43:31.000 I wouldn't be good at it.

02:43:32.000 I wouldn't be good at the job.

02:43:33.000 I'd be a good advisor.

02:43:34.000 I'd tell people what the people want.

02:43:36.000 But no one's going to listen.

02:43:37.000 I think politics, what we're talking about with money being involved in it, it's almost inexorably unfixable. 0.99

02:43:44.000 It's almost impossible to untangle that fucking beehive of chaos. 0.99

02:43:51.000 So much dirty money involved. 1.00

02:43:53.000 And if I'm a politician, I'm not going to stop taking this money.

02:43:57.000 I'm not going to be first.

02:43:58.000 If we all are going to do it, I'm not going to be first.

02:44:00.000 Exactly.

02:44:00.000 Look at all these congressmen that make $170,000 a year and they're worth $80 million.

02:44:06.000 How the fuck did that happen? 0.98

02:44:07.000 What did you do? 0.98

02:44:08.000 And how do you have time to invest?

02:44:11.000 Aren't you busy being a congressperson? 0.99

02:44:13.000 How the fuck do you have all that money? 1.00

02:44:15.000 You get all that money because you're a grifter. 1.00

02:44:17.000 They're all grifting and they're all just like doing it sneaky.

02:44:20.000 It's red and blue.

02:44:21.000 If you look at, we pulled up the numbers of people, whether it's a Democrat or Republican, how many of them are insider trading?

02:44:28.000 It's across the board.

02:44:31.000 They all have just unexplainable amounts of money. 1.00

02:44:35.000 It's a dirty fucking business. 1.00

02:44:37.000 It's not like one of the parties loves money more than the other. 1.00

02:44:40.000 No.

02:44:41.000 No.

02:44:41.000 They're all.

02:44:42.000 See, I get in trouble for that because usually my humor is written around not liking any of them.

02:44:48.000 Yeah.

02:44:49.000 And people want me to take a side.

02:44:51.000 Yeah, that's a problem.

02:44:53.000 I had a joke in my Netflix special about, you know, the Democrat versus the Republican that was running at that time.

02:44:59.000 And it was like, that's like asking me who my favorite Menendez brother is. 0.99

02:45:04.000 Motherfuckers did not. 1.00

02:45:07.000 That's a great joke. 1.00

02:45:08.000 Yeah, like, oh, kind of like Lyle.

02:45:11.000 You know?

02:45:12.000 He made it in prison with a Two-phase.

02:45:15.000 Weren't they trying to get them out recently?

02:45:17.000 Oh, yeah.

02:45:17.000 Bro, that documentary on them was nuts.

02:45:20.000 The docudrama series where they recreated it.

02:45:23.000 Oh, my God.

02:45:25.000 I love documentaries.

02:45:27.000 Well, that was a docudrama.

02:45:29.000 Like they recreated actors. 1.00

02:45:31.000 So you don't know how much of it is true, but boy, did they come off like fucking complete psychos. 0.98

02:45:35.000 I remember for the OJ Simpson scripted doc, they wanted me to come read for OJ. 0.99

02:45:43.000 And I'm like, Yo, how the fuck are you gonna be? 0.99

02:45:43.000 What? 0.99

02:45:46.000 Yeah, you had Judge Ito barking because I'm just too recognizable as me.

02:45:51.000 That wouldn't work at all.

02:45:51.000 Exactly.

02:45:52.000 That's crazy.

02:45:53.000 I think they chose Kuba Gooding Jr.

02:45:55.000 That's right.

02:45:56.000 That's right.

02:45:57.000 He actually did a great job in that.

02:45:59.000 But what a.

02:46:01.000 That story was nuts.

02:46:03.000 He was the first famous.

02:46:04.000 Yes.

02:46:04.000 There it is.

02:46:05.000 Wow.

02:46:06.000 And that's Kim's dad.

02:46:09.000 Wow.

02:46:10.000 That's Mr. Kardashian's second story.

02:46:11.000 I forgot Travolta's in there too.

02:46:13.000 I forgot Travolta's in there. 0.94

02:46:16.000 Those are fucking so weird when you see famous people pretending to be other famous people. 0.97

02:46:23.000 Yeah, so odd. 0.99

02:46:24.000 I do a story in my book about OJ coming to stage 29 at Paramount to whip my ass one time. 0.99

02:46:32.000 He was angry. 0.99

02:46:34.000 Did you say a joke on the show or something?

02:46:37.000 I booked.

02:46:41.000 Is when Naked Gun was out, and I booked Leslie Nielsen.

02:46:45.000 And we got a call from OJ's people because he wanted to come on, obviously.

02:46:49.000 He was in that movie.

02:46:50.000 But the second one, it had legs, so I booked Priscilla Presley, who is a great guest and a lot of history.

02:46:58.000 And after that, I get a call from the gate.

02:47:02.000 It's OJ Simpson here at the gate.

02:47:04.000 He wants to talk to you.

02:47:05.000 And he didn't park, he didn't want a space.

02:47:08.000 He parked outside the elephant door, stage 29, and wanted me to come out.

02:47:12.000 Uh oh.

02:47:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:47:14.000 And by the way, this is at a time when we didn't know he cut a motherfucker's head off. 0.99

02:47:18.000 Also, at a time we didn't know about CTE. 0.99

02:47:18.000 You know? 0.99

02:47:21.000 Oh, yeah.

02:47:21.000 Yeah.

02:47:22.000 Which is probably a lot of what OJ was going through.

02:47:26.000 A lot of that violent behavior.

02:47:28.000 Yeah.

02:47:29.000 It's probably a lot of CTE.

02:47:31.000 Yeah, man.

02:47:32.000 I mean, when you think about it, those days in San Francisco when he couldn't quite cut the way he used to, he was getting hit.

02:47:38.000 He was taking head on shots.

02:47:40.000 Oh, yeah.

02:47:41.000 And NFL back then was nuts.

02:47:43.000 Yeah, I feel bad for him and Junior Seow and some of those guys.

02:47:46.000 Junior Seow was trying to scream to us what was going on.

02:47:48.000 Right.

02:47:49.000 You know, he committed suicide, left a note, made sure he didn't damage his brain with the bullet.

02:47:55.000 Right, so they could check it out.

02:47:57.000 But OJ stopped by and we had a talk.

02:48:00.000 So he was mad that you didn't have him on the show?

02:48:02.000 Yeah, he was a little mad.

02:48:05.000 But was it your call?

02:48:06.000 Oh, yeah.

02:48:10.000 I mean, but by the way, it was my call to just do things that would get numbers.

02:48:15.000 You know, well, the.

02:48:15.000 Right.

02:48:18.000 The Leslie Nielsen one, I liked him because I saw him someplace with a little thing in his hand to make fart noises.

02:48:25.000 I saw that, yeah.

02:48:26.000 Yeah, so I knew that I would say to him, So you got a big hit here, and he would do it, squeeze the thing.

02:48:33.000 And yeah, I was just trying to find the funniest guest. 0.98

02:48:37.000 And OJ, he told me, he said some shit about, I thought having a black host, things would be different. 0.99

02:48:45.000 And I'm like, Don't you play the race car. 0.99

02:48:47.000 Yeah, settle down.

02:48:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:48:50.000 Not you, Juice.

02:48:52.000 But I ran into him in a club one night.

02:48:56.000 I was hanging out with a couple members of New Edition.

02:48:58.000 And we're in this club, and he comes over and he gets drunk with us.

02:49:03.000 And after we're pretty tanked, Nicole and this gorgeous girl named Faye Resnick, I'll never forget her name, she was beautiful.

02:49:13.000 And these two women come over, and I realized, oh, so, because OJ is alone, I realized he was going to places finding her.

02:49:22.000 And so she comes over and she says, juice.

02:49:26.000 You know, and she's, what do you do?

02:49:27.000 You know, and he's just hanging out with these guys.

02:49:29.000 And he's, you know, when you're drunk, spit be flying.

02:49:32.000 I wasn't drunk enough that I didn't see the spit.

02:49:35.000 And so she said, Well, I'm going to be over here with Faye and blah, blah, blah.

02:49:39.000 Say something before you leave.

02:49:41.000 And so we sit there and talk.

02:49:42.000 But he said something that night that blew me away.

02:49:45.000 We talked about her, and he said, I still love her.

02:49:48.000 I've tried to give her up, and I can't.

02:49:51.000 Wow.

02:49:53.000 And that's crazy.

02:49:54.000 Not too much later, she was dead.

02:49:57.000 That's what, that's around the time, too, I remember.

02:50:01.000 Missing the show because one thing that's addictive about the talk show is anything in the news you get to handle it, right?

02:50:08.000 And I remember watching a basketball game and seeing the freeway chase with the Bronco, and I was like, I want a monologue tomorrow.

02:50:18.000 You know, I couldn't believe I didn't have a show that night.

02:50:20.000 That's the only time I've ever really missed it because most of the time you just go to the store, right?

02:50:24.000 Right?

02:50:25.000 That's hilarious.

02:50:26.000 I wanted to talk to the nation that night.

02:50:28.000 Well, listen, brother, you had a gigantic impact on culture, you really did.

02:50:32.000 Your show was amazing.

02:50:34.000 You know, you've been an incredible life.

02:50:36.000 And I'm really happy to hear that you're happy now and just enjoying life. 0.93

02:50:41.000 You know, and you look fucking fantastic for 70. 0.94

02:50:44.000 That's amazing. 0.86

02:50:45.000 Thank you, man.

02:50:46.000 I appreciate you inviting me.

02:50:48.000 This is one of those shows.

02:50:50.000 Next time you're going to come to the club.

02:50:52.000 Next time you're in town.

02:50:53.000 I've got to.

02:50:54.000 The show is a little bit different.

02:50:54.000 Just let me know.

02:50:56.000 But I can't believe I look at the mothership behind you, the neon mothership.

02:51:00.000 That was actually before the mothership was made.

02:51:03.000 Oh.

02:51:04.000 Yeah, this was six years old, this sign.

02:51:07.000 We got this sign.

02:51:08.000 My friend Brigham got me this when I first moved to Austin.

02:51:12.000 So, what did the spaceship mean before there was a club to you?

02:51:15.000 I'm just a UFO fanatic.

02:51:17.000 Oh, okay.

02:51:18.000 I've always been obsessed. 1.00

02:51:20.000 Because that looked like some shit. 0.99

02:51:21.000 I went to a Parliament Funkadilic concert where they landed in some shit like that, and George Clinton came out and sang One Nation Under a Groove. 1.00

02:51:28.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:51:30.000 Wow.

02:51:30.000 I've just always been obsessed.

02:51:31.000 That's all it is.

02:51:32.000 But next time you're in town, you're coming.

02:51:34.000 Promise?

02:51:35.000 All right.

02:51:35.000 Absolutely.

02:51:36.000 I'll come.

02:51:37.000 I won't be in town. 0.99

02:51:38.000 I'll figure out a way to hit you.

02:51:41.000 And say, Siri, Joe, I'm coming. 0.91

02:51:44.000 Let's go.

02:51:44.000 And I'll be hearing.

02:51:45.000 Thanks for doing this, man, because your demographic reads.

02:51:48.000 And I know I sold some books today.

02:51:49.000 Yeah, tell everybody the name of your book.

02:51:50.000 Oh, is it out right now?

02:51:51.000 We had a long ass meeting about that.

02:51:52.000 Do we call it things that make you go, hmm, a life that makes you go, hmm, do we call it, hmm, hmm, h There you go.

02:52:17.000 All right.

02:52:19.000 Art department threw some AI on me.

02:52:21.000 I'm 35 in the picture.

02:52:22.000 You're 35 right now.

02:52:24.000 All right.

02:52:25.000 Appreciate you, brother.

02:52:26.000 Thank you, dog.

02:52:26.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 08, 2026

Joe Rogan Experience #2480 - Arsenio Hall

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