The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2507 - Harland Williams

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:13.000 Dimitri was here when Donald Trump was here.

00:00:16.000 Wow, that made my day.

00:00:17.000 It was important.

00:00:18.000 Doesn't matter what side.

00:00:19.000 It doesn't?

00:00:20.000 No.

00:00:21.000 There we go.

00:00:22.000 Wow, these are nice.

00:00:24.000 Dimitri the snake.

00:00:26.000 There he is.

00:00:26.000 Yeah, tapeworm.

00:00:27.000 Oh, that's right.

00:00:28.000 Tapeworm, yeah.

00:00:29.000 What's going on with your face?

00:00:30.000 What are you doing?

00:00:33.000 This is a tight one for me today, guy.

00:00:41.000 I'm feeling ripe.

00:00:43.000 What is that?

00:00:44.000 It's a.

00:00:45.000 It says Betty?

00:00:46.000 Billy.

00:00:47.000 Billy. 0.69

00:00:47.000 Oh, B-I. 0.69

00:00:49.000 L-L-Y. 0.98

00:00:50.000 Oh, okay.

00:00:55.000 It's a memorial tattoo.

00:00:58.000 I don't know if you knew this or not, but my kid got hit by a truck.

00:01:10.000 When did you have a kid?

00:01:12.000 About two years ago.

00:01:14.000 I haven't told anyone.

00:01:16.000 I was ashamed.

00:01:18.000 It was a one night stand.

00:01:22.000 Kid.

00:01:25.000 Is it a human kid?

00:01:26.000 Yeah.

00:01:31.000 Billy.

00:01:33.000 He got hit by a truck?

00:01:35.000 Got hit by a truck.

00:01:36.000 Was he just walking?

00:01:37.000 Well, someone, and I won't say who, left the gate open.

00:01:42.000 And he wandered out into the street and boom, like hit by an 18 wheeler.

00:01:52.000 And this is like a memorial.

00:01:54.000 So, you got Billy tattooed on your forehead?

00:01:57.000 I have two tattoos.

00:01:58.000 I got Billy on my forehead, and I got a tattoo of his little face over my heart.

00:02:03.000 Come see it.

00:02:05.000 Yeah.

00:02:05.000 Really?

00:02:07.000 God.

00:02:09.000 First of all, what happened to the one when you were attacked by the bear?

00:02:13.000 That healed up.

00:02:13.000 Yeah.

00:02:15.000 This is Billy.

00:02:18.000 Billy Goat.

00:02:19.000 He's a kid.

00:02:20.000 Billy's a kid?

00:02:21.000 Yeah.

00:02:23.000 Poor little guy.

00:02:24.000 Poor little guy.

00:02:25.000 He was a service animal.

00:02:27.000 I thought he was your son.

00:02:29.000 Well, he was my boy.

00:02:31.000 He was a kid.

00:02:32.000 But you said he got him out of a one night stand.

00:02:33.000 Well, the girl sold him to me.

00:02:35.000 He was a service animal.

00:02:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:02:41.000 It sucks, dude. 0.99

00:02:43.000 And you know what sucks? 0.99

00:02:44.000 He was hit by a truck that was hauling medical supplies. 0.93

00:02:49.000 How ironic.

00:02:49.000 Okay.

00:02:51.000 He's laying there, and to watch your kid bleat to death, he's just laying on the pavement, like just bleeding to death.

00:02:51.000 Right.

00:03:05.000 Amazing he was still alive.

00:03:06.000 Well, I couldn't believe it.

00:03:08.000 He was alive, and a respirator rolled out of the back of the truck, a life saving device, and crushed his head.

00:03:17.000 So he was killed not by the truck.

00:03:19.000 But by the final blow of the respirator landing on him?

00:03:22.000 Right.

00:03:22.000 So the irony.

00:03:23.000 What are the odds?

00:03:24.000 Well, this is the irony in life, Joe.

00:03:26.000 Like he got hit by the truck, might have survived, a respirator rolled out of the back.

00:03:32.000 These things weigh a good half ton, lands on the kid's face, and gone.

00:03:41.000 Poor Billy.

00:03:42.000 So memorial tattoos.

00:03:45.000 Well, you're a good guy.

00:03:47.000 I was a good guy.

00:03:47.000 I would have ate him.

00:03:48.000 Is that right?

00:03:49.000 Yeah.

00:03:50.000 How does goat taste?

00:03:51.000 I haven't had it.

00:03:52.000 It's pretty good, yeah.

00:03:53.000 Wait.

00:03:53.000 You have?

00:03:54.000 Sure.

00:03:55.000 First time I ever had it was in LA at a Mexican spot.

00:03:58.000 They were selling goat tacos, they were delicious.

00:04:00.000 Oh, my God.

00:04:01.000 Yeah, and then I had a neighbor, well, not a neighbor, who's a landscaper, that was a friend of mine, that would, he would fight chickens.

00:04:09.000 They'd do chicken fights.

00:04:10.000 Cock fights. 0.99

00:04:11.000 Yeah.

00:04:12.000 Yeah, I've had those.

00:04:13.000 Trying to be polite, cleaning up for the viewers.

00:04:15.000 Well, chicken fights.

00:04:17.000 Cock is kind of the technical name.

00:04:19.000 Seems wrong.

00:04:21.000 Yeah.

00:04:21.000 When you're saying it.

00:04:23.000 I don't like how you're saying it.

00:04:23.000 Have you ever.

00:04:26.000 But anyway, they would roast a goat.

00:04:27.000 He told me whenever they would do a cock fight. 0.89

00:04:31.000 Feel better? 0.92

00:04:31.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:04:31.000 Feel better? 0.92

00:04:32.000 Well, it's not for me.

00:04:33.000 It's for the culture.

00:04:35.000 Yeah, I mean, it is what it is.

00:04:37.000 A pit bull fight.

00:04:39.000 Actually, I wonder how you say it in Spanish.

00:04:41.000 El Caco.

00:04:42.000 So, anyway, he lived in this neighborhood. 0.52

00:04:44.000 You would swear to God that it was Mexico. 1.00

00:04:46.000 It was crazy.

00:04:47.000 Like, every sign was in Spanish.

00:04:48.000 All the people were in Spanish. 0.95

00:04:49.000 There were roosters everywhere.

00:04:50.000 You just, on his street, you would hear, like, all day long.

00:04:54.000 It was like, it was crazy.

00:04:55.000 And so he had this friend of mine, a friend of his, rather, we went to the backyard.

00:05:00.000 And in the backyard, there were just stacks and stacks of rooster cages.

00:05:04.000 They had so many roosters, and they had these prize roosters, and they had a whole pit.

00:05:09.000 So they had a thing, it was almost like a barn looking area.

00:05:11.000 And you go in there, and there's a pit.

00:05:11.000 Right.

00:05:13.000 A cockpit.

00:05:14.000 And then that's where they would fight.

00:05:15.000 And he was showing me where they would roast a goat.

00:05:18.000 He said every time they would have a cockfight, they'd roast a goat, and everybody'd have beers.

00:05:23.000 Well, if you're going to have a cockfight, you might as well roast a goat.

00:05:26.000 That's what I said.

00:05:27.000 But if I had a cockpit in my backyard, I'd get like a Delta pilot and an American Airlines pilot and toss them in.

00:05:36.000 And let them fight it out?

00:05:37.000 Let them fight it out in the cockpit.

00:05:38.000 Who do you think would win?

00:05:40.000 Probably Delta, because they have the DEI program.

00:05:44.000 Do they?

00:05:45.000 Yeah.

00:05:46.000 Or in this case, they all do.

00:05:49.000 The DIE program, because someone ain't coming out alive.

00:05:54.000 Well, I think we need pilots, so maybe you should do it with someone who's overrepresented in the marketplace. 0.99

00:06:00.000 What would be like we could get rid of some of those folks?

00:06:03.000 Who we could single out?

00:06:05.000 It would be like we've had enough.

00:06:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:08.000 There's too many of you guys.

00:06:09.000 Yeah.

00:06:10.000 Politicians.

00:06:12.000 Yeah.

00:06:13.000 Homeless advocates.

00:06:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:15.000 I'd love to see politicians get in a pit and fight. 0.98

00:06:18.000 Right.

00:06:19.000 Yeah.

00:06:20.000 Two men enter.

00:06:21.000 Yeah.

00:06:22.000 I mean, that had to how it went down a long time ago.

00:06:25.000 Yeah.

00:06:26.000 A long time ago.

00:06:27.000 Oh, you're talking like caveman years?

00:06:29.000 Tribal days. 0.87

00:06:29.000 Yeah. 0.87

00:06:30.000 Yeah.

00:06:30.000 Tribal day.

00:06:31.000 They probably had a fight.

00:06:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:32.000 I think my opponent's a piece of shit. 1.00

00:06:34.000 He wants to steal all the coconuts. 1.00

00:06:35.000 Yeah.

00:06:36.000 Yeah.

00:06:37.000 Well, I think back then the hierarchy worked.

00:06:40.000 Based on physical dominance, intimidation.

00:06:44.000 Like, you'd be a good leader. 0.81

00:06:46.000 You got, you got, you're jacked.

00:06:48.000 Yeah, I'm not a good leader, though, because I'd be like, you got to do what you want to do.

00:06:52.000 I'm not really interested in running this place.

00:06:53.000 I got to get out of here.

00:06:54.000 Yeah.

00:06:55.000 Because once you decide you're running it, you're stuck with everything.

00:06:55.000 Yeah.

00:06:59.000 And all the problems are your problems.

00:06:59.000 Yeah.

00:07:01.000 Wow. 1.00

00:07:02.000 And everyone wants to kill you. 1.00

00:07:04.000 Like, who the fuck would want to be president? 1.00

00:07:07.000 This is why voting for president is a real problem. 0.99

00:07:11.000 Yeah.

00:07:11.000 Like in 2028, it was like, who's going to win in 2028?

00:07:14.000 Who's going to win?

00:07:16.000 Who's going to run? 1.00

00:07:17.000 Who wants that fucking job? 1.00

00:07:19.000 What normal, healthy person wants that job where at least half the country is going to fucking hate you? 1.00

00:07:25.000 And the people that you got in, that got you in, they're not going to be happy because you're never going to be able to do what you're saying you want to do. 0.95

00:07:32.000 It's not even possible.

00:07:33.000 What did you just put up, Jeremy?

00:07:34.000 I was going to say, do you think they could start dueling again like they did in the 17th and 18th century?

00:07:39.000 They used to duel.

00:07:40.000 Yeah.

00:07:42.000 Many periods of history.

00:07:43.000 According to Perplexity, our AR sponsor, politicians fought literally with fists, canes, swords, and pistols, and some famous ones were killed or badly injured in these clashes.

00:07:54.000 1700s, 1800s, dueling was a common way for gentlemen and politicians to defend their honor in Europe and the United States.

00:08:00.000 That would be sick.

00:08:02.000 If congressmen, you know, like they start screaming and yelling at each other like they always do.

00:08:07.000 Yeah.

00:08:07.000 I challenge you to a duel.

00:08:09.000 And everyone's like, oh, let's fucking die. 1.00

00:08:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:08:12.000 Yeah.

00:08:13.000 And they go out on the White House lawn.

00:08:15.000 Andrew Jackson killed Charles Dickinson?

00:08:17.000 Yeah.

00:08:19.000 The author?

00:08:20.000 And was wounded himself.

00:08:21.000 That's not the author, is it?

00:08:22.000 No, I mean, that's not the author.

00:08:24.000 That's Dickens.

00:08:25.000 Yeah, okay.

00:08:25.000 That's Dickens.

00:08:26.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:08:27.000 I mean, that's a bad review for a book when you go, You piece of shit. 1.00

00:08:31.000 I didn't like Tom Sawyer. 1.00

00:08:33.000 Boom.

00:08:34.000 Did Dickens write Tom Sawyer?

00:08:37.000 Or Huck Finn?

00:08:38.000 No, no, no.

00:08:39.000 That was Samuel Clemens.

00:08:42.000 Mark Twain.

00:08:42.000 Samuel.

00:08:43.000 Twain.

00:08:43.000 Yeah.

00:08:44.000 What the hell did Dickens write?

00:08:46.000 Oh, I don't remember.

00:08:49.000 The Christmas one.

00:08:50.000 Christmas one?

00:08:51.000 The Grinch?

00:08:52.000 Which one did he write?

00:08:55.000 Grinch that stole.

00:08:56.000 Oliver Twist.

00:08:56.000 Christmas Carol is the one I was trying to think of.

00:08:58.000 David Copperfield, Great Expectations.

00:09:01.000 Yeah, Christmas Carol is the one I was thinking of.

00:09:01.000 Oh, he wrote that?

00:09:03.000 Okay.

00:09:04.000 He wrote some great stuff.

00:09:05.000 What year was, put that thing up again about the duels?

00:09:10.000 Because, so Jackson killed someone in 1806.

00:09:15.000 When was he president?

00:09:18.000 Later.

00:09:19.000 It says later.

00:09:20.000 Wow.

00:09:21.000 Yeah.

00:09:22.000 So he shot someone and then became president. 0.80

00:09:24.000 He was a murderer and he became president.

00:09:26.000 He was vice president, did it in 1804. 0.94

00:09:27.000 Whoa.

00:09:29.000 JD Vance is going out and shooting the Treasury Secretary right now.

00:09:32.000 This is crazy.

00:09:33.000 They had a pistol duel with the Treasury Secretary.

00:09:37.000 Hamilton was mortally wounded and died the next day.

00:09:40.000 It's going to be crazy to see right now.

00:09:41.000 Wow.

00:09:42.000 If they were having the UFC fights at the White House, maybe they could do that.

00:09:45.000 It ended this guy, Burr's political career.

00:09:48.000 Scroll back up again.

00:09:49.000 Aaron Burr. 0.99

00:09:51.000 So it was the vice president, Aaron Burr, who shot the fucking Treasury Secretary. 1.00

00:09:56.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:09:58.000 Former Treasury Secretary.

00:10:00.000 And killed him, and then it ended his career.

00:10:03.000 Even in 1804, they're like, that's outrageous.

00:10:05.000 But isn't that crazy?

00:10:06.000 That was just the 1800s.

00:10:08.000 200 years ago, they were shooting each other. 0.71

00:10:10.000 And America's all about guns, so why aren't we just doing that now? 0.88

00:10:14.000 It would end a lot of really shitty conversations.

00:10:17.000 Because a lot of people, they talk in a way, they say horrible, mean things because they know there's no repercussions.

00:10:25.000 If they could just challenge you to a fist fight on the Senate floor, if that was a thing, it would change a lot.

00:10:31.000 1856.

00:10:34.000 Representative Preston Brooks of South Carolina ended the U.S. Senate chamber and brutally beat Senator Charles Summer of Massachusetts with a cane after Summer gave an anti slavery speech that insulted Brooks' cousin.

00:10:47.000 Summer was left unconscious and badly injured.

00:10:51.000 Whoa.

00:10:53.000 Whoa, because he gave an anti slavery speech.

00:10:56.000 Imagine, why'd you hit him?

00:10:57.000 The guy's against slavery.

00:10:59.000 Oh.

00:10:59.000 Yeah.

00:11:00.000 Yeah.

00:11:01.000 Did you use a weapon at least?

00:11:02.000 Yeah, I used a cane.

00:11:03.000 He's against slavery. 0.98

00:11:04.000 What the hell? 0.66

00:11:05.000 What am I going to do? 0.96

00:11:05.000 Just let him be against slavery? 0.96

00:11:07.000 Yeah. 0.81

00:11:09.000 He insulted my cousin, a slave owner.

00:11:11.000 Wow.

00:11:12.000 Well, you know, America's like kind of built on gun culture, so it sort of seems to fit, you know?

00:11:19.000 Also, combat.

00:11:21.000 Like, thank you.

00:11:21.000 It's just a little bit more.

00:11:23.000 It's like violence.

00:11:24.000 There's going to be a UFC on the White House lawn.

00:11:27.000 Yeah.

00:11:28.000 That seems like a good safe place to be, huh?

00:11:30.000 Everyone's going to know where all the world leaders are going to be.

00:11:33.000 We're all going to be stuck sitting in that spot for six hours calling fights.

00:11:37.000 You're going to be there, right?

00:11:38.000 Super safe.

00:11:39.000 I feel completely safe.

00:11:40.000 You're going to be there, right?

00:11:41.000 Oh, I'm going to be there.

00:11:43.000 Do you like the concept of it or no?

00:11:45.000 I do not like it.

00:11:46.000 How come, guy?

00:11:47.000 Because it's outside.

00:11:48.000 And I think world championship fights should be in a controlled environment.

00:11:52.000 Yes.

00:11:53.000 Out of respect for the athletes and how difficult it is to compete professionally in a world title.

00:11:58.000 However, I should say, however, it's going to be a spectacle.

00:12:02.000 Whether I was there or not, I would be watching 100%.

00:12:06.000 I think it's awesome that Trump, this is one of the things that I like about him. 1.00

00:12:10.000 He's like, fuck it, let's do it. 1.00

00:12:12.000 He puts on cage fights on the White House lawn. 1.00

00:12:15.000 That's nuts.

00:12:17.000 He's fearless. 1.00

00:12:18.000 He does wild shit. 1.00

00:12:19.000 I like that. 1.00

00:12:20.000 I like that part. 0.78

00:12:21.000 I don't like the Iran war thing, but I like that.

00:12:23.000 You don't like the concept that?

00:12:26.000 Iran can no longer have nuclear weapons. 0.53

00:12:29.000 I think that's better than a UFC fight.

00:12:32.000 That is a good concept.

00:12:33.000 However, I don't necessarily know there's a clear way to get out of this.

00:12:38.000 And if you know what we did in Afghanistan for 20 years and how much American taxpayer dollars were spent and how many people lost their lives. 0.99

00:12:46.000 But in Afghanistan, it felt like they were just sweeping out like goat farmers and guys hiding in caves. 0.99

00:12:52.000 Whereas here, there's a directive where they're preventing a rebel country from. 1.00

00:12:58.000 From having a bomb that could annihilate portions of our planet. 0.93

00:13:03.000 So I think that's a much clearer and more positive agenda than wiping out guys living in the hills of Afghanistan creating opium. 0.99

00:13:12.000 That's true, if it made sense. 0.85

00:13:14.000 The problem is, I had Scott Horton on the podcast explaining what is actually involved in making depleted uranium and making it weapons grade and what would have to be done in order to get it to a bomb level.

00:13:27.000 It's very difficult.

00:13:29.000 Right.

00:13:29.000 It's not as simple, and they weren't nearly.

00:13:32.000 Capable of doing that.

00:13:33.000 Not nearly, but pursuing.

00:13:36.000 It's a good question because he was also saying they were being inspected on a regular basis.

00:13:41.000 And essentially, this is Israel wanting us to go to this war.

00:13:44.000 Yeah. 0.55

00:13:44.000 Israel wants. 0.55

00:13:45.000 Well, and it makes sense. 0.98

00:13:46.000 If I was Israel, if we were America and Mexico had nukes pointed at us or whatever, it's not nukes, but you know what I'm saying?

00:13:53.000 Like if they did, if they were trying to build a nuke, if Mexico and America were constantly in conflict and Mexico was trying to build a nuclear bomb, that would be. 0.98

00:14:04.000 A good reason where America would want to go fuck up Mexico. 0.98

00:14:07.000 Like, hey, you can't have a nuclear bomb. 0.99

00:14:09.000 This is Israel's position. 0.98

00:14:10.000 Right. 0.90

00:14:11.000 Israel's right there with Iran.

00:14:12.000 They're close enough, they're throwing missiles at each other. 0.96

00:14:15.000 I get why they would want it.

00:14:16.000 I just don't know if it's a good thing for America.

00:14:18.000 And I don't know if there's a way out of it.

00:14:20.000 Well, I think what we have to look at is the bigger scope.

00:14:23.000 If not America cleaning it up, who does it?

00:14:26.000 Who has the power and the wherewithal to do it?

00:14:30.000 You know, we've used like two thirds of our missiles doing it.

00:14:34.000 Yeah, but it leaves us vulnerable if there's any other kind of a conflict.

00:14:38.000 We're like under armed right now.

00:14:41.000 I don't think we're ever under armed when we have our Triton submarine force lurking in the oceans 24 7 and nobody knows they're there, even members of American military.

00:14:52.000 What do you know?

00:14:52.000 How do you know this?

00:14:53.000 Oh, I know things, guy.

00:14:54.000 Did Billy tell you this?

00:14:56.000 Billy's dead.

00:14:58.000 Wait a minute.

00:14:59.000 Do you know something about these Triton submarines?

00:15:01.000 I sure do.

00:15:01.000 What do you know?

00:15:02.000 Well, they're circumnavigating our oceans 24 7.

00:15:07.000 How many are there?

00:15:08.000 I think there's a fleet of 12 to 24.

00:15:11.000 I think it's closer to 12, but these things can stay underwater for up to a year.

00:15:16.000 And most members of our American government don't even know they're there, they don't know where they are. 0.76

00:15:22.000 How much underwater jerking off is going on right now?

00:15:25.000 Well, think about it. 0.90

00:15:26.000 One Triton submarine, Trident submarine.

00:15:29.000 Has how many guys on it?

00:15:30.000 I don't know how many guys, but it has something like 24 nuclear warheads.

00:15:34.000 And how many guys on it?

00:15:35.000 Each warhead has 24 that break off.

00:15:38.000 So one of these submarines could take out.

00:15:41.000 Half the world, and we've got them going all the time.

00:15:44.000 So, whenever you're afraid of any little hot spot in the world, just remember that we have this going on in the ocean.

00:15:50.000 A lot of people don't know about it. 1.00

00:15:51.000 I like you say this wee shit when you're Canadian. 1.00

00:15:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:54.000 Interesting.

00:15:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:56.000 When the shit hits the fan, Canadians like to pretend they're Americans. 1.00

00:15:59.000 I like it. 1.00

00:16:00.000 I'm just not worried.

00:16:01.000 Like, I'm not worried about America ever being vulnerable.

00:16:05.000 It's an area, it's a nautical force that you don't really hear about.

00:16:09.000 But if you were to look it up, there's this force out there that could take out the world.

00:16:15.000 Well, Jamie just looked it up.

00:16:16.000 Jamie looked it up.

00:16:18.000 US Navy submarine force today consists of about 53 fast attack submarines.

00:16:24.000 14 ballistic missile submarines and four guided missile submarines, all nuclear powered.

00:16:29.000 That yields a total of roughly 70 to 71 nuclear submarines in the force, making it the world's largest nuclear submarine fleet.

00:16:38.000 Why currently in the oceans is classified, except for people who talk to Harlan.

00:16:43.000 Exactly.

00:16:44.000 Harlan knows.

00:16:45.000 The exact number of U.S. nuclear submarines at sea at any moment and their locations are classified for operational security.

00:16:53.000 The Navy does not release real time deployment figures.

00:16:56.000 Public discussion instead uses overall force and general deployment concepts like continuous SSBN deterrent patrols rather than day by day counts.

00:17:08.000 Okay.

00:17:09.000 That makes you feel a little better.

00:17:10.000 Well, you need not worry.

00:17:11.000 And that's, you didn't even tap into the Tridents.

00:17:14.000 The Tridents are the nuclear ones that run silent.

00:17:17.000 So you can't ping them.

00:17:18.000 You can't go.

00:17:21.000 You can't?

00:17:22.000 That's pinging.

00:17:23.000 That's sonar.

00:17:24.000 What do you mean?

00:17:25.000 You can't use sonar to fire them.

00:17:26.000 You can't ping them.

00:17:27.000 They're nuclear, they're silent.

00:17:28.000 They're silent predators in the ocean.

00:17:30.000 Really?

00:17:31.000 They're huge.

00:17:32.000 And I told you, one nuclear warhead splits off into 16 or 24. 0.99

00:17:38.000 So one of these damn Trident submarines could put anyone in its place at any time. 0.98

00:17:44.000 So don't you worry about our missiles being depleted, Mr. Joe Zachary Rogan. 0.99

00:17:52.000 Zachary.

00:17:54.000 How do they get a new name?

00:17:55.000 I don't know.

00:17:56.000 If I know about submarines, I know about your middle name.

00:17:59.000 Okay.

00:17:59.000 I'm going to have to change my license.

00:18:02.000 In current open sources, Trident submarines usually means U.S. Navy Ohio class ballistic missile submarines that carry Trident II D5 nuclear missiles, and there are 14 of these boats.

00:18:12.000 There you go. 0.56

00:18:14.000 And so these boats are just floating around ready to fuck people up. 0.99

00:18:17.000 So do you think it was a good idea to go into Iran and start bombing? 1.00

00:18:21.000 I think whoever's the bad player, I think it's a good idea. 0.99

00:18:24.000 If it was North Korea, Iran, Israel, Canada, Mexico, whoever's causing shit in the world, we don't have time for you. 0.99

00:18:34.000 Let's get in line. 0.99

00:18:37.000 Let's all work together, or you get a timeout.

00:18:41.000 We don't have time for this anymore.

00:18:43.000 We're a society of sophisticated human beings.

00:18:47.000 We got to move forward.

00:18:48.000 There I am, sonar guy.

00:18:50.000 Look at you, dude.

00:18:51.000 That's me on a trident.

00:18:53.000 That's what you do in your spare time?

00:18:54.000 Yeah.

00:18:55.000 I ride around the world protecting things.

00:18:56.000 Did they dye your hair before you go into there?

00:19:02.000 Triggered an old memory when he started doing that.

00:19:05.000 What movie was that in?

00:19:05.000 Right?

00:19:06.000 Down Periscope.

00:19:07.000 Down Paris.

00:19:08.000 Wow, look at you, dog.

00:19:09.000 Yeah.

00:19:10.000 But this is real, guys.

00:19:11.000 So I'm just saying to you, don't ever fret.

00:19:14.000 Okay.

00:19:15.000 There's no one on earth that can threaten America.

00:19:18.000 How did 9 11 happen then?

00:19:20.000 Well, that was land based, that was terrestrial, and that was simple planning and box cutting and hijacking.

00:19:27.000 But we're talking about global warfare, nuclear war. 0.70

00:19:31.000 Let's say Moscow launched and hit seven of our cities tomorrow. 0.73

00:19:36.000 Well, guess what?

00:19:37.000 Moscow.

00:19:39.000 Seven or eight Chidance submarine waiting just offshore for you.

00:19:39.000 Debbie.

00:19:47.000 This episode is brought to you by Amazon MGM Studios' new movie, Masters of the Universe, only in theaters June 5th.

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00:21:09.000 Right, but there's no one left here to celebrate because we're all dead.

00:21:13.000 It doesn't matter.

00:21:14.000 America doesn't lose, is what I'm trying to tell you, my guy.

00:21:16.000 Oh, we still win when everyone's dead?

00:21:18.000 No, still win.

00:21:19.000 The guys floating around in the Indian Ocean and the Atlantic and the North Sea.

00:21:23.000 So, those aliens will be the new civilization.

00:21:26.000 America wins even when they lose, my guy.

00:21:28.000 Maybe that's why the aliens are under the water.

00:21:31.000 Maybe they're the ones that survived the apocalypse.

00:21:33.000 The apocalypse.

00:21:33.000 You believe that?

00:21:35.000 Yeah, I don't know about the aliens under the water.

00:21:37.000 Tim Burchett was on this podcast.

00:21:39.000 Well, what does he know?

00:21:41.000 He said that there are three.

00:21:43.000 Did he say three bases or five?

00:21:44.000 I don't remember. 0.99

00:21:45.000 When your last name's bullshit, I don't remember. 0.99

00:21:47.000 No, no, no. 0.99

00:21:48.000 It's Burchett.

00:21:49.000 Oh, Burchett.

00:21:50.000 He's a very honest man.

00:21:50.000 I saw it.

00:21:52.000 So, what did he say?

00:21:53.000 He said that there are these three locations.

00:21:55.000 I think it's three.

00:21:56.000 See if three or five.

00:21:57.000 I can't remember which one.

00:21:58.000 Let me tell you.

00:21:58.000 Hang on.

00:22:01.000 Five.

00:22:03.000 So you said there's these spots under the ocean where regularly they have these events where things come out of the ocean.

00:22:10.000 When you say things, are we talking giant squid?

00:22:13.000 Are we talking extraterrestrial?

00:22:15.000 They're talking crafts that move in a way that we can't right now.

00:22:20.000 500 miles an hour under the water.

00:22:22.000 They're transmedia, meaning they can go above the ground and in the water with no, it doesn't seem like it's.

00:22:28.000 Causing them any resistance?

00:22:29.000 Yeah.

00:22:29.000 Burchette said there are five underwater bases, and in some reports, it's phrased as five or six.

00:22:35.000 What?

00:22:36.000 The clearest reporting says he pointed to five areas in the U.S. waters where such bases could be.

00:22:41.000 So there's a bunch of areas in the ocean.

00:22:43.000 And if you think, like, you were going to hide something, that's where you would hide it.

00:22:47.000 We don't go in the ocean that much, right?

00:22:50.000 Well, we go in the ocean, but we don't know the ocean.

00:22:52.000 It hasn't been mapped.

00:22:54.000 I think we've only mapped less than 10% of the ocean floor.

00:22:57.000 We know more about the surface of the moon than we know about the bottom of the ocean.

00:23:00.000 Correct.

00:23:01.000 And so, when they're, if they were here, that would be the place to hide.

00:23:06.000 Just go to the deepest parts of the ocean where no one can go.

00:23:09.000 Yeah.

00:23:09.000 And you build bases.

00:23:11.000 Because if they can travel here from another planet, James Cameron went to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

00:23:16.000 We watched a video of it.

00:23:17.000 Fascinating.

00:23:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:23:18.000 So he did that in 2012.

00:23:20.000 If he can do that, for sure, something that can come here from another planet can also go down there and most likely set up a base.

00:23:29.000 I'm skeptical.

00:23:30.000 I'm not denying it, but I'm thinking if you're an extraterrestrial and you're coming to a planet like ours, what's the upside of going deep down into a trench that's, I think it's what, three, four, five miles deep?

00:23:46.000 The Areoli Trench?

00:23:49.000 Areoli?

00:23:50.000 What's it called?

00:23:51.000 That's what it's called.

00:23:53.000 Ariol is the thing around weird. 1.00

00:23:55.000 Your tits. 1.00

00:23:56.000 Did you catch this yesterday? 1.00

00:23:57.000 Probably, maybe not.

00:23:58.000 The new Disclosure Day trailer?

00:24:00.000 I did.

00:24:00.000 So Steven Spielberg's in it.

00:24:02.000 Yeah, he's saying, first of all, bro, cut your nails.

00:24:05.000 You're freaking me out.

00:24:07.000 Oh, wow.

00:24:08.000 He's a nose picker. 1.00

00:24:09.000 Some people keep them long to get boogers. 1.00

00:24:11.000 That's what they do. 1.00

00:24:12.000 Spielberg probably likes to pull out a crank out of a greenie. 1.00

00:24:15.000 Boy.

00:24:17.000 Picture Spielberg laying in bed at night just cranking out a greenie and eating it.

00:24:21.000 So he said that he believes that we are being visited much.

00:24:26.000 I don't think he does that.

00:24:27.000 He's a respected man.

00:24:28.000 Look at those nails. 0.98

00:24:29.000 Those are booger picking nails. 0.98

00:24:30.000 He's just too busy to trim his nails.

00:24:32.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:24:33.000 He probably could have someone trim those dirty booger nails. 1.00

00:24:36.000 You think that's what they're doing? 1.00

00:24:37.000 It looks like an eye eye almost. 0.72

00:24:39.000 What if we had like one long coke nail? 0.79

00:24:41.000 What if we had like one long pink nail? 1.00

00:24:43.000 Like an eye eye. 1.00

00:24:44.000 Like a fucking coke nail, bro. 1.00

00:24:46.000 You ever seen an eye eye? 1.00

00:24:48.000 Those dudes, they grow the pinky nail long to let everybody know they do coke.

00:24:51.000 Pull up an eye eye, Jamie.

00:24:53.000 What does that mean?

00:24:54.000 You'll see in a second, Dr. Coke nail.

00:24:57.000 Jesus.

00:24:57.000 A Y E, A Y E. Maybe it's that ink from the tattoo.

00:25:02.000 Now show them the middle finger of the eye eye.

00:25:06.000 Whoa, look at that hook.

00:25:06.000 Zoom in.

00:25:08.000 So they have an elongated middle digit.

00:25:11.000 That they stick deep down into coconuts and melons.

00:25:16.000 And that's a Spielberg hook right there.

00:25:19.000 That is what the fingers look like.

00:25:24.000 That's Spielberg at night laying in his waterbed picking greenies. 0.97

00:25:24.000 Look at that. 0.97

00:25:29.000 I don't think he does that.

00:25:30.000 I think he does.

00:25:31.000 There's one in his beard right there.

00:25:33.000 I feel bad that I brought it up.

00:25:34.000 Look, there's the hand.

00:25:35.000 There's the eye eye.

00:25:36.000 Oh.

00:25:37.000 Eye eye.

00:25:38.000 Hmm. 0.75

00:25:39.000 And isn't it interesting, Joe, if we go full circle, if you're down in a Trident submarine and the captain says, Press X572 and obliterate Iran right now.

00:25:50.000 The operator would go, aye, aye, sir.

00:25:55.000 I don't think they say that.

00:25:57.000 I think they say Roger.

00:25:58.000 Well, if the guy's name's Roger.

00:26:01.000 Why do they say Roger?

00:26:03.000 Huh?

00:26:03.000 I wonder why they say that name.

00:26:05.000 Like it's not Mike.

00:26:06.000 Roger was based off of the Jolly Roger, the flag.

00:26:10.000 Is that what?

00:26:10.000 The skull and crossbones.

00:26:12.000 So the nautical term Roger came from that, Jolly Roger.

00:26:15.000 Yeah, but the military uses that too, Roger that.

00:26:18.000 Right. 0.65

00:26:19.000 But they adopted it from the Navy.

00:26:22.000 Let's find out if that's true.

00:26:24.000 Yeah.

00:26:24.000 What is Roger, the term Roger that?

00:26:27.000 Where does that come from?

00:26:28.000 As I'm looking that up, do you know why pirates wear an eye patch? 1.00

00:26:30.000 Because you cut their fucking eye off. 1.00

00:26:32.000 No. 1.00

00:26:33.000 Oh, so they could see better at distance?

00:26:35.000 At night under the ship because it's dark.

00:26:37.000 Right.

00:26:38.000 Yeah.

00:26:38.000 It's for when, you know, light, when you get accustomed to darkness.

00:26:45.000 The more.

00:26:46.000 But why does having one eye closed.

00:26:51.000 So, did they put the patch over the other eye when they go under at night?

00:26:54.000 Yes, you switch.

00:26:55.000 Whoa.

00:26:57.000 They switch eyes.

00:26:58.000 So they never have to get adjusted to the dark.

00:27:00.000 Well, that's crazy.

00:27:01.000 Yes, Roger has to do with Morse code.

00:27:05.000 That is actually kind of amazing.

00:27:07.000 What a smart move.

00:27:08.000 You put one patch over your eye during the daytime and one patch at night, and you can always see.

00:27:15.000 Yep.

00:27:16.000 Originally stood for the letter R, which is used as shorthand for received in Morse code in an early radio.

00:27:23.000 So, saying Roger means I received your message.

00:27:26.000 Oh, interesting.

00:27:28.000 And it also hankers back to the skull and crossbones, the Jolly Roger.

00:27:33.000 Pull that up.

00:27:34.000 I don't think it does.

00:27:35.000 Yeah, it is.

00:27:35.000 It's a derivative of the cranial area of the tibia.

00:27:40.000 The tibia is across the cranial.

00:27:44.000 Jamie doesn't believe you.

00:27:45.000 What the hell is going on here?

00:27:46.000 When Jamie laughs, I know something's up.

00:27:49.000 What is Jolly Roger?

00:27:51.000 No, the Roger in radio talk and the Roger in Jolly Roger come from different traditions and are not historically connected.

00:27:58.000 Do you think this is maybe top secret information that you know, and maybe you just made a mistake by telling the whole world?

00:28:03.000 Can I answer it with.

00:28:08.000 You've just been a sonar player.

00:28:11.000 So imagine if there was a super sophisticated, intelligent civilization that existed way before ours, like 30,000 years ago.

00:28:22.000 And then they had developed underwater travel, space travel, all that jazz.

00:28:27.000 Then the apocalypse comes, and the only ones that survive are the Trident submarine guys that are in the ocean.

00:28:32.000 Right.

00:28:33.000 Maybe that's why all these bases are in the ocean.

00:28:35.000 Maybe they're the last remaining survivors of a super advanced civilization that existed thousands and thousands of years before, like Mesopotamia.

00:28:44.000 But my point to you, joke and point, valid, valid.

00:28:49.000 I'm going to play.

00:28:49.000 Think about it for a second.

00:28:50.000 Daddy's going to play.

00:28:51.000 I'm not even refuting it. 0.85

00:28:53.000 But I'm going to roll it around, the old Canadian roll it around, and I'm going to come back at you with an argument that if I'm an intelligent life force and I've got this sphere with oceans and land.

00:29:06.000 Why do I want to make life harder for myself?

00:29:09.000 Do you know the pressure that you're at three miles down in the ocean?

00:29:13.000 The amount of pressure that comes.

00:29:15.000 Look what happened to that little submarine that popped about three years ago.

00:29:20.000 So, why do you want to live in an environment where you have so much pressure when you could simply land on the terrestrial plane and live pressure free?

00:29:20.000 Right.

00:29:29.000 Because if they are insanely advanced, one of the things that's proposed is that they have some sort of a gravity bubble.

00:29:37.000 And this is how they move through space.

00:29:40.000 And this is how they don't use propulsion.

00:29:42.000 They're frictionless through space.

00:29:42.000 That they essentially.

00:29:44.000 Exactly.

00:29:44.000 That's why these crafts act as transmedium crafts.

00:29:48.000 When these crafts are flying and they go into the ocean, there's virtually no splash. 0.82

00:29:53.000 And they're moving 500 miles an hour.

00:29:54.000 Frictionless.

00:29:55.000 Exactly.

00:29:57.000 They're not existing in the same space time as we are.

00:30:00.000 They have a bubble.

00:30:01.000 And this bubble completely distorts everything around them.

00:30:04.000 So you're saying if they descended into the depths of our ocean, they wouldn't experience the pressure.

00:30:10.000 Exactly.

00:30:10.000 Because the bubble is.

00:30:12.000 Forcing off the pressure.

00:30:14.000 Exactly.

00:30:14.000 Interesting.

00:30:15.000 But still, okay.

00:30:18.000 What is your purpose for going underwater when you could just land on the surface of the earth?

00:30:24.000 Well, maybe they're observing us and making sure that we don't fuck things up.

00:30:29.000 But how can they observe us if they're three miles underwater?

00:30:32.000 Well, they come out of the water, Harlan.

00:30:34.000 That's the whole reason why they know they're there because they keep experiencing these crafts that are rising out of the water in these very specific locations.

00:30:41.000 Yeah.

00:30:42.000 You seem like a disinformation agent from the government or something.

00:30:45.000 I am.

00:30:46.000 I am.

00:30:46.000 It seems like it.

00:30:47.000 I am.

00:30:48.000 You should work out on being a little more stealthy.

00:30:51.000 What do you mean?

00:30:51.000 Because it's very obvious to me that you're what the kids call controlled opposition.

00:30:55.000 Well, that could be me counterintuitively pre programming you to think sideways.

00:31:02.000 What would be the benefit of that?

00:31:04.000 I'm not experiencing these ways of espionage.

00:31:07.000 What's the benefit of living a mile down in the ocean in the Areola Rift?

00:31:12.000 I think the whole reason they're in the ocean is because that's where we won't find them.

00:31:18.000 Like, if you wanted to watch a civilization, if we went to another planet, okay, let's say this.

00:31:25.000 Let's say we go to another planet and we find people that are living like cave people.

00:31:29.000 They're killing each other with spears. 0.99

00:31:31.000 They're robbing and raiding villages.

00:31:34.000 If we wanted to just observe and we had the ability to observe from the sky motionless with no sound at all and just watch them, don't you think we would do that?

00:31:43.000 Yeah.

00:31:44.000 We wouldn't interfere.

00:31:45.000 We would want to know as much about them as we could.

00:31:47.000 Right. 0.99

00:31:47.000 Every now and then when one of them was going to get watered, we fucking dart them with a tranquilizer dart, check their DNA, take some jizz, and then leave them there just like they do to us. 0.99

00:31:56.000 We would do the exact same stuff if we could do it. 0.98

00:31:59.000 If we were just a little more advanced than we are now, so not millions of years in advance, which we think maybe possibly some civilizations are, but maybe a hundred years or a thousand years, and we found a planet and that planet had cave people on it, 100% we would do most of the things that these aliens are doing.

00:32:20.000 If we had a way where we could dart them and tranquilize them and they'd have no idea that we did it and they would just wake up in the jungle confused, we would do it. 0.70

00:32:29.000 If we did medical tests on them, we could take them, bring them to a secure medical facility that we had, maybe in a helicopter or some sort of a spaceship that we've created, and we run some tests on them, take some sperm, take some skin samples, do a fucking cat scan on them, whatever, and then put them back in the jungle. 0.95

00:32:47.000 By the way, this isn't Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. 0.97

00:32:47.000 We would do it. 0.97

00:32:51.000 We're not wildebeest.

00:32:53.000 We're not seals.

00:32:54.000 Like, clearly, they share some of the intelligence we have.

00:32:58.000 They're masters of aeronautics.

00:33:00.000 We've mastered aeronautics.

00:33:02.000 In our physical plane.

00:33:04.000 So, what's with all the mystery?

00:33:06.000 Like, if they can communicate and they can talk and they can build as we can, it's not like.

00:33:12.000 Why don't they just.

00:33:12.000 No, we're too primitive.

00:33:14.000 How do you know that? 1.00

00:33:15.000 Because if something happens, let's go chat to the idiots. 1.00

00:33:20.000 No. 1.00

00:33:20.000 If we're that dumb. 1.00

00:33:21.000 At least we can communicate. 0.99

00:33:23.000 I think you have to communicate.

00:33:24.000 Our fighter jets fly with their fighter jets, track them.

00:33:27.000 We lock onto them.

00:33:29.000 No, they don't.

00:33:29.000 So, we're sharing aeronautical intelligence.

00:33:32.000 No, no, no.

00:33:33.000 They're not sharing.

00:33:33.000 Joseph?

00:33:34.000 They're trying to find them, and then they dart away and move in ways that we can't explore.

00:33:38.000 But we see them, we track them, we share the same airspace.

00:33:41.000 We're both flying.

00:33:42.000 I don't know why I'm getting so fired up.

00:33:48.000 Yeah, but still, dude, if we went to another planet and found Australia Pithecus, we found an early human, you know, one of the early primates.

00:33:57.000 Okay.

00:33:58.000 100% we would dart it.

00:34:01.000 We would tranquilize it, we would run tests on it, we would want to know about it.

00:34:01.000 100%.

00:34:06.000 100%.

00:34:07.000 Okay, you're talking about a Neanderthal.

00:34:09.000 Right, that's what we are to them. 0.65

00:34:10.000 But let's say. 0.99

00:34:10.000 If they're the little greys with the big heads and they communicate telepathically and they could fly here instantaneously from other solar systems, we might as well be the ape people. 0.99

00:34:20.000 But why the evasion? 0.99

00:34:21.000 Like if you saw Homo picathus or whatever it's called, Australopithecus, holding up a cell phone, would you still go, let's dart it and probe it and let it go?

00:34:32.000 Why wouldn't you just go, hey, that monkey's got a cell phone?

00:34:36.000 Let's go talk to it. 0.86

00:34:37.000 We can talk.

00:34:38.000 We have cell phones.

00:34:40.000 Why the mysterious distance?

00:34:43.000 If they're in the ocean and they know we're intelligent beings, why not just come up and say, hey, anyone want to go snorkeling?

00:34:52.000 I think Australia Pithecus with a spear is about as intelligent to us as we are to them.

00:34:59.000 But if they have an evolved language and they have communities and a civilization, isn't that enough for us to just walk into camp and go, Hey guys, I mean, they did it with tribes that live in the Amazon.

00:35:16.000 Who's that guy?

00:35:17.000 Who's the guy they boiled in the pot?

00:35:19.000 That famous saying?

00:35:21.000 What's that famous?

00:35:22.000 I can't think of it right now.

00:35:25.000 But, anyways, we wandered into the Amazon and walked right up to like weird Amazon tribal people.

00:35:32.000 It's not like we hid and tried to hide from them. 0.87

00:35:36.000 Yeah, but they didn't know those people were even there.

00:35:39.000 But when they found them, they integrated, they approached them.

00:35:39.000 Right.

00:35:42.000 They go, hey, this is a t shirt, this is a camera.

00:35:45.000 But those were human beings that were the exact same kind of human beings as the people that were visiting them.

00:35:51.000 They're not different species.

00:35:54.000 Still.

00:35:55.000 No.

00:35:56.000 So if you, Joe Rogan, were out in a field one day and you saw a new species of people jumping around, having a picnic, sharing a salami, would you just hide behind a log and watch them?

00:36:10.000 Or would you go, hey, who are you?

00:36:14.000 What are you?

00:36:15.000 Well, you're not even allowed to contact uncontacted people.

00:36:19.000 Say that again.

00:36:20.000 You're not allowed to contact, like North Sentinel Island, that island in the middle of the Indian Ocean where that.

00:36:27.000 Preacher went and got killed because he was trying to bring them Bibles.

00:36:29.000 Right. 0.99

00:36:30.000 You're not allowed to contact uncontacted tribes.

00:36:35.000 Is that like all of them?

00:36:37.000 Most of them.

00:36:38.000 I don't think so.

00:36:39.000 Indian Ocean, they have that North Sentinel Island protected.

00:36:43.000 And, you know, there's people that discourage people from contacting people in the Amazon.

00:36:47.000 There's several uncontacted tribes in the Amazon.

00:36:50.000 I wish they'd stay that way.

00:36:51.000 Yeah.

00:36:52.000 Stay uncontacted? 1.00

00:36:53.000 Well, I don't want to see a beautiful, like, pygmy or someone from an Amazonian tribe wearing an Adidas shirt. 1.00

00:37:00.000 Why not? 1.00

00:37:01.000 Or a Hooters shirt.

00:37:02.000 Hooters would be funny.

00:37:04.000 That'd be funny.

00:37:04.000 No.

00:37:05.000 I want to see them wearing like kook kook feathers and, you know, hookah pick bones. 1.00

00:37:10.000 I want to see them spearfishing with a Bucky's hat on. 1.00

00:37:14.000 Joe, come on, guy.

00:37:17.000 No, no.

00:37:19.000 Why not?

00:37:20.000 Well, then that's why the aliens under the ocean are staying away from us. 0.94

00:37:24.000 They don't want to be corrupted by our ridiculous society of Hooters and cracker barrels. 0.95

00:37:29.000 Okay.

00:37:30.000 If you were in the Amazon, wouldn't you want a t shirt?

00:37:35.000 If I was a.

00:37:36.000 If you were walking through the Amazon, you, Harlan Williams, the third, right now, alive in 2026, if you were in the Amazon and I said, Would you like to wear a t shirt while you're walking through the Amazon?

00:37:47.000 Yeah.

00:37:47.000 What would you say?

00:37:48.000 As a white North American male?

00:37:50.000 I'd say definitely.

00:37:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:52.000 And they want one too.

00:37:53.000 It's better than no t shirt.

00:37:54.000 No, it's not.

00:37:55.000 You're the tribe of five people, and one of them has a shirt in it.

00:37:57.000 One of them's got a t shirt.

00:37:58.000 Yeah, see, I hate that.

00:38:00.000 Look, he's got flip flops.

00:38:00.000 That guy on the right is bald.

00:38:02.000 That's horrible. 1.00

00:38:03.000 That is the baller of the fucking neighborhood. 1.00

00:38:05.000 That's the guy that pulls up in the 65 Chevelle, and everybody's like, Look at him with his flip flops. 1.00

00:38:10.000 I think that's that guy who wrote My Goritaville.

00:38:12.000 What was his name?

00:38:14.000 That's Jimmy Buffett, for God's sake.

00:38:16.000 My Goritaville.

00:38:18.000 What's he called?

00:38:21.000 Isn't that him?

00:38:23.000 I think that's him.

00:38:25.000 Way's him.

00:38:26.000 Way again.

00:38:28.000 Well, we'll get dinged on YouTube for that, Jamie.

00:38:30.000 You guys are getting way too close.

00:38:32.000 You know, you get dinged.

00:38:33.000 Oh, you can't sing?

00:38:35.000 They take away your. 1.00

00:38:36.000 Fucking advertising revenue if you hum a song. 0.99

00:38:40.000 Okay. 1.00

00:38:41.000 These dirty criminals. 1.00

00:38:42.000 Wow. 1.00

00:38:43.000 Hum.

00:38:44.000 Hum a song. 1.00

00:38:45.000 You dirty scum legs. 1.00

00:38:47.000 Trying to steal advertising money. 1.00

00:38:49.000 What if we mess with them and hum a tune and sort of play name that tune with them?

00:38:53.000 You know what they'll do? 0.99

00:38:54.000 They'll fucking ding you. 0.99

00:38:55.000 Even if they can't figure it out. 0.99

00:38:57.000 Like they've got to sit around the office and say.

00:38:59.000 They'll pretend then you have to go to court.

00:39:00.000 Name that tune in seven notes and I'm like, mmm.

00:39:04.000 Don't do it.

00:39:05.000 Don't do it.

00:39:06.000 Do you know what I just did?

00:39:07.000 Do you know what song that was? 1.00

00:39:07.000 You fucked us up. 1.00

00:39:09.000 I don't care. 1.00

00:39:10.000 I do.

00:39:10.000 What is it?

00:39:12.000 It was that Pink Floyd song.

00:39:15.000 No, no, no.

00:39:16.000 Don't say that because then they'll get us.

00:39:17.000 Yeah, but they don't know which one.

00:39:19.000 And they can't prove it.

00:39:19.000 Doesn't matter.

00:39:21.000 That's what you don't understand.

00:39:21.000 They don't have it.

00:39:22.000 They don't have to prove it.

00:39:24.000 Oh.

00:39:24.000 All they have to do is make a claim.

00:39:26.000 Huh.

00:39:26.000 And then you have to fight it and you'll lose.

00:39:28.000 You're Joe Rogan, though.

00:39:29.000 They're not going to mess with you, guy.

00:39:32.000 Oh, you're so incorrect. 0.87

00:39:34.000 By the way, dude, you are jacked. 0.94

00:39:36.000 I work out. 0.89

00:39:37.000 Can we get your shirt off?

00:39:38.000 No.

00:39:40.000 How come?

00:39:42.000 Joe, don't be selfish.

00:39:47.000 I want you to, would you please take your shirt off?

00:39:49.000 For what reason?

00:39:50.000 Because you have a beautiful body.

00:39:54.000 Okay.

00:39:54.000 And you work so hard at it.

00:39:57.000 And no one gets to see it.

00:40:00.000 And you know you want people to see it, but you can't do it.

00:40:03.000 You can't go, well, I'm Joe Rogan.

00:40:05.000 I crafted this body.

00:40:08.000 But if I ask you to, you get to show it off.

00:40:12.000 I don't really want to show it off.

00:40:13.000 That's why I wear clothes.

00:40:14.000 You do, though.

00:40:16.000 But I don't.

00:40:16.000 It's like if you did this podcast but didn't put it out, what's the point?

00:40:22.000 I don't think that's the same thing.

00:40:25.000 I would love it if you showed your beautiful body.

00:40:29.000 Okay.

00:40:30.000 I love it.

00:40:31.000 There you go.

00:40:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:33.000 Joe.

00:40:34.000 Dude, can we stand?

00:40:36.000 No, that's enough.

00:40:37.000 Dude, look at that.

00:40:39.000 I have muscles.

00:40:39.000 Can we talk about it before you put the shirt on?

00:40:41.000 Can we talk about it?

00:40:42.000 What do you want to talk about?

00:40:44.000 How you do that?

00:40:45.000 I work out.

00:40:46.000 You could do it too.

00:40:47.000 You work out?

00:40:47.000 Well, take.

00:40:48.000 Yeah.

00:40:49.000 How often?

00:40:51.000 Do you really want to get into this?

00:40:53.000 Sure.

00:40:56.000 Yeah.

00:40:56.000 You do?

00:40:57.000 How often do you work out?

00:40:57.000 Because I'm about to crack an egg open on your show that I don't think anyone's ever talked about.

00:41:02.000 How often do you work out?

00:41:04.000 A lot.

00:41:05.000 Yeah?

00:41:06.000 What are you doing these days?

00:41:07.000 Okay.

00:41:08.000 You want to get into this?

00:41:10.000 Sure.

00:41:11.000 Here we go.

00:41:12.000 Here we go, Joseph Zachary Rogan.

00:41:18.000 I don't want to get in trouble, but I'm working out.

00:41:21.000 By the way, beautiful body.

00:41:23.000 Your chest is stunning.

00:41:24.000 See, I'm glad you did.

00:41:25.000 It doesn't even make me uncomfortable that you say that.

00:41:27.000 Like some men, I would be like, this is odd.

00:41:29.000 No, no, I'm not a fly guy.

00:41:31.000 What does that mean? 1.00

00:41:32.000 Like homosexual. 0.91

00:41:34.000 Oh, no. 1.00

00:41:41.000 I'm straight as they come, but I believe in holding up people's hard work.

00:41:45.000 And that didn't just come from sitting around eating Pringles and Baskin Robbins.

00:41:50.000 You worked your ass off.

00:41:51.000 You deserve to show it, and you never could because it's you.

00:41:55.000 And now I get to help celebrate you, and all your fans got to see all that hard work, and I love it, guy.

00:42:02.000 Okay.

00:42:03.000 But I'm straight as a Chinese truck driver.

00:42:06.000 Chinese truck drivers are never gay?

00:42:07.000 Never. 0.99

00:42:08.000 Is that part of the job?

00:42:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:42:11.000 Seriously, though, how many dudes are jerking off under the ocean? 0.99

00:42:14.000 How many guys are jerking off to you just taking your shirt off? 1.00

00:42:17.000 A couple. 0.99

00:42:19.000 But how many guys are jerking off to me taking my shirt off while they're under the ocean? 0.96

00:42:24.000 Let me check. 0.82

00:42:25.000 If you got 14 subs, how many people are on each sub? 0.98

00:42:29.000 How many men are on each sub?

00:42:31.000 It might not be known.

00:42:33.000 Let's take a guess.

00:42:34.000 They keep it very secret.

00:42:36.000 If you had a guess, how many people are on each sub?

00:42:41.000 I'm going to say.

00:42:43.000 Oh, no.

00:42:48.000 A thousand?

00:42:48.000 A lot more than that.

00:42:51.000 On the Trident.

00:42:51.000 Really?

00:42:52.000 The Trident's are like floating cities.

00:42:54.000 If you were a gamer, you might be including all submarines, including every government, not just ours.

00:43:01.000 Okay.

00:43:03.000 But how many people are on each submarine?

00:43:07.000 How many could one of those submarines hold?

00:43:09.000 A small one is 30 to 70.

00:43:12.000 A small one?

00:43:13.000 Yeah.

00:43:14.000 A large one is 120 to 140.

00:43:16.000 Wow.

00:43:17.000 That seems about it.

00:43:18.000 Big 160, maybe, max.

00:43:20.000 And there's 14 of them.

00:43:21.000 So there's at least 1,000 dudes underwater right now.

00:43:24.000 I said there's 40,000 to 70,000.

00:43:26.000 40,000 to 70,000 guys under the water?

00:43:28.000 Yeah.

00:43:29.000 Yeah.

00:43:30.000 So don't worry about the United States taking a hit, my guy.

00:43:30.000 Whoa.

00:43:34.000 This is crazy.

00:43:35.000 Miss Wilde?

00:43:36.000 That's a crazy statistic.

00:43:37.000 Are you glad I dropped by today?

00:43:40.000 I'm always glad when you drop by.

00:43:41.000 But this is crazy.

00:43:42.000 40,000 to 70,000 people are underwater in submarines at any given moment with huge uncertainty.

00:43:48.000 We can only estimate.

00:43:48.000 Why?

00:43:49.000 No Navy or company publishes a live count.

00:43:52.000 Of how many submarines are deployed right now, or how many crew are aboard each one, and how many deployments are classified.

00:43:59.000 Civilian research and tourism subs are also not tracked in a global real time way.

00:44:06.000 Wow.

00:44:07.000 Wow.

00:44:08.000 That's crazy.

00:44:09.000 So that could be a whole new civilization. 1.00

00:44:12.000 So if they blow up the earth, but how many chicks? 1.00

00:44:15.000 Well, that's the thing. 1.00

00:44:16.000 The ratio is probably not good.

00:44:18.000 The ratio is probably non existent.

00:44:19.000 How many chicks are in these subs?

00:44:22.000 That's classified. 1.00

00:44:23.000 Do they have girls that serve any substances? 1.00

00:44:26.000 There's girl submariners. 0.82

00:44:28.000 What is the number?

00:44:29.000 It's like 10 to 1?

00:44:30.000 And worse, what do they look like? 1.00

00:44:32.000 But I bet they're the fucking cream of the crop underwater. 0.99

00:44:35.000 Because the pressure squeezes in all the cellulite? 1.00

00:44:38.000 No. 0.99

00:44:39.000 No, there's no other girls.

00:44:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:42.000 You get what you get.

00:44:42.000 No competition.

00:44:43.000 Yeah.

00:44:44.000 Yeah, no competition. 1.00

00:44:46.000 Like, how many ladies? 1.00

00:44:47.000 Let's take a guess at how many ladies are underwater at any given time. 1.00

00:44:50.000 20? 1.00

00:44:51.000 Yeah.

00:44:52.000 10%. 0.94

00:44:53.000 Women are likely well under 10% of submarines worldwide, with higher percentages in a few navies, such as the U.S. and some NATO allies.

00:44:53.000 10%.

00:45:02.000 Those are the ones that are in trouble.

00:45:04.000 There are 609 signed submarines in the U.S. 2022.

00:45:08.000 Wow. 1.00

00:45:09.000 609 women getting how many dudes hitting on them? 1.00

00:45:13.000 Yeah. 0.88

00:45:15.000 It must be hell.

00:45:17.000 Be underwater with a guy who's annoying you and you can't get away from him.

00:45:20.000 Can't get away.

00:45:21.000 He's farting. 0.99

00:45:23.000 Underwater sex? 0.99

00:45:24.000 Farts. 1.00

00:45:25.000 Underwater farts must be horrible. 1.00

00:45:28.000 What do they do with the shit? 1.00

00:45:29.000 They don't come up sometimes for months. 1.00

00:45:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:45:32.000 The Tridents go out for, I think, a year almost.

00:45:36.000 And so, what do they do with their shit? 1.00

00:45:38.000 They just eject it. 1.00

00:45:39.000 They eject it into the sea.

00:45:41.000 They're not doing anything a whale isn't doing.

00:45:44.000 But do they eject it into the sea?

00:45:45.000 They have to.

00:45:46.000 I mean, they can't make meatloaf.

00:45:47.000 Can you imagine if, like, during that process, somehow or another, it got clogged up?

00:45:52.000 Yeah.

00:45:52.000 Because somebody used too much toilet paper in the subsinks?

00:45:55.000 Yeah. 0.93

00:45:55.000 A fatty. 0.93

00:45:56.000 Because Javier just took a giant dump. 0.96

00:45:59.000 They might melt it.

00:46:01.000 Melt it.

00:46:02.000 They can rise up, too.

00:46:03.000 Don't forget they can breathe. 0.99

00:46:05.000 Throw it into the nuclear pit where the engine is.

00:46:07.000 They manage trash by compacting, melting, or jettisoning it to avoid.

00:46:12.000 Detect what you're doing.

00:46:13.000 Okay, that's trash. 0.99

00:46:14.000 What about poop? 0.98

00:46:14.000 Well, I said. 0.98

00:46:15.000 Did you ask about poop?

00:46:17.000 Yeah.

00:46:17.000 Ask about poop, just specifically, because waste can mean, you know, paper cups.

00:46:21.000 It's the same thing, though.

00:46:22.000 I would always go now, if you were jettisoning your poop everywhere, you might want to have detectors for human waste in the water, and you might start figuring out where the submarines are.

00:46:31.000 Maybe you don't want to do that.

00:46:32.000 He's operating on another level.

00:46:34.000 Yeah.

00:46:34.000 That was in the 40s, probably.

00:46:36.000 This is a dude that's into conspiracies.

00:46:38.000 Yeah.

00:46:39.000 Jamie.

00:46:39.000 He operates on other levels.

00:46:42.000 Start tracking.

00:46:42.000 Do you know that term can neither confirm nor deny?

00:46:46.000 Came from a Russian submarine that was sunk that we were pulling out of the ocean.

00:46:51.000 And they got questioned about it.

00:46:54.000 And they said, Are we in possession of this Russian sub?

00:47:00.000 Are we pulling it out of the ground?

00:47:01.000 And they said, We can neither confirm nor deny because they had to answer.

00:47:05.000 So that is an answer without an answer.

00:47:06.000 That's right.

00:47:07.000 You can neither confirm nor deny.

00:47:10.000 That's akin to saying pleading the fifth.

00:47:13.000 Sort of, but you actually are answering.

00:47:15.000 You can neither confirm nor deny.

00:47:18.000 That's like saying, I'm, what do you do for a living?

00:47:20.000 I'm in heating and air conditioning.

00:47:22.000 No, because that's a very specific trade.

00:47:25.000 Well, they kind of counteract each other.

00:47:28.000 What do you do?

00:47:29.000 I'm in shipping and receiving.

00:47:32.000 Are you sure?

00:47:32.000 I can neither confirm nor deny.

00:47:35.000 I mean, this is an avoidance problem that.

00:47:39.000 But I want to talk to you about my workout regime.

00:47:41.000 Okay.

00:47:42.000 Because you asked.

00:47:43.000 I did ask.

00:47:44.000 I'm doing something so advanced.

00:47:48.000 You do the ice baths, right?

00:47:50.000 Mm hmm.

00:47:51.000 You soak in them?

00:47:52.000 Yep.

00:47:54.000 So I'm doing something so extensive that I'm exercising myself into a new race.

00:48:04.000 What are you becoming?

00:48:05.000 And no one said this before on your podcast, I don't think. 0.87

00:48:09.000 But I'm working out so hard to become a new race.

00:48:15.000 And two words Gera Ruffa. 1.00

00:48:21.000 You take your ice baths.

00:48:23.000 Gera Ruffa, my guy.

00:48:26.000 What is that? 1.00

00:48:27.000 Jamie, look it up and do it quick, you whore. 1.00

00:48:31.000 I mean, do it quick. 1.00

00:48:37.000 Gera Ruffa? 0.99

00:48:38.000 Look it up.

00:48:40.000 You're becoming a fish?

00:48:41.000 Oh, that's not any fish.

00:48:43.000 The Gera Ruffa, people submerge their legs and feet into the tanks.

00:48:50.000 And the Gera Ruffa have vibrating lips, Joe.

00:48:54.000 And they eat skin cells.

00:48:55.000 Picture this underwater. 1.00

00:48:58.000 So, those are the ones like when you go into Thailand and ladies dump their legs into a fish pond? 1.00

00:49:03.000 Vibrating lips. 1.00

00:49:03.000 Right. 1.00

00:49:04.000 Clean your toes off?

00:49:07.000 Joe?

00:49:09.000 Mm hmm.

00:49:10.000 And how are you working out to become one of those?

00:49:12.000 So, while you're taking your ice baths, I'm submerging my whole body, my lower extremities, into one of these tanks.

00:49:25.000 These fish are sculpting.

00:49:28.000 My body, my lower extremities, and have you ever heard of malaria pills?

00:49:35.000 Yes.

00:49:35.000 So, while everyone else is popping Ozempic and doing everything else, I've been on malaria pills for four years.

00:49:42.000 And these things can flip your blood platelets.

00:49:46.000 Okay, that's the power of malaria pills.

00:49:50.000 They can actually change your red blood cell count and your white blood cell count.

00:49:56.000 It's powerful medicine.

00:49:57.000 Okay.

00:49:58.000 So, with the use of my malaria pills and the Gera Ruffas, and I don't know if If you want to see the results, but my legs are hammer jacked right now.

00:50:10.000 Let's see.

00:50:10.000 Let me see him.

00:50:11.000 My legs are powered up. 0.97

00:50:13.000 Take your pants off.

00:50:13.000 Okay.

00:50:14.000 Are you sure?

00:50:14.000 Come on.

00:50:14.000 Okay.

00:50:15.000 Yeah.

00:50:16.000 And before I do it, I'm going into a new race, and I don't want anyone to accuse me of doing blackleg.

00:50:29.000 Notice he has baggy pants on.

00:50:31.000 I don't know if you've ever seen the fastest man in the world is who?

00:50:36.000 Hussein Bolt.

00:50:37.000 Hussein Bolt.

00:50:38.000 The biggest high jumper in the world is a black man. 0.87

00:50:43.000 The longest long jumper is a black man. 0.99

00:50:47.000 The highest vertical jumper is a black man. 0.80

00:50:51.000 And this isn't racist. 0.80

00:50:52.000 This isn't black leg, but this is me working out into a new race.

00:50:58.000 And I'm proud of this. 0.92

00:50:59.000 Pull your pants off.

00:51:04.000 I wouldn't be laughing if I were to. 1.00

00:51:06.000 These legs are jacked. 1.00

00:51:17.000 Look at these legs.

00:51:19.000 Why are they a different color? 1.00

00:51:21.000 Well, I told you I'm working out into another race. 0.99

00:51:24.000 Dude, you have fucking serious leg muscles, man. 0.99

00:51:26.000 Where'd you get those leg muscles? 0.99

00:51:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:28.000 I told you.

00:51:30.000 What's going on with your underwear?

00:51:31.000 That's kind of crazy.

00:51:32.000 What do you mean?

00:51:34.000 What is my underwear? 1.00

00:51:36.000 What the fuck do you have on your legs? 1.00

00:51:39.000 Dude, I told you I'm working out right into another race. 1.00

00:51:43.000 Are those your real legs?

00:51:44.000 Yeah.

00:51:45.000 That's very impressive.

00:51:46.000 You don't have like silicon over them or anything.

00:51:48.000 Those are actual leg muscles.

00:51:49.000 Wait a minute.

00:51:50.000 Why is it?

00:51:50.000 Giant leg muscles.

00:51:52.000 Why is it you can take your shirt off and I compliment you?

00:51:56.000 But it's like your legs don't match up with the rest of your legs.

00:52:00.000 Because the color's off.

00:52:01.000 No, the muscles are crazy.

00:52:02.000 Stand up again.

00:52:03.000 Yeah.

00:52:04.000 Those muscles are insane.

00:52:06.000 Yeah.

00:52:06.000 Are those real?

00:52:07.000 Tell me the truth.

00:52:08.000 They look like plastic.

00:52:09.000 What are you talking about?

00:52:10.000 It looks like you're wearing something.

00:52:11.000 Jamie, those are the most insane legs I've ever seen in my life, right?

00:52:16.000 If that was a guy weighing in at a UFC fight, that would make sense.

00:52:19.000 But go viral.

00:52:21.000 Two words.

00:52:23.000 Gera ruffa. 1.00

00:52:25.000 Where'd you get those legs? 1.00

00:52:26.000 Dude, I sink them. 0.83

00:52:27.000 So if I sit in the tank, I'll get legs like that?

00:52:30.000 Well, are you taking malaria pills?

00:52:33.000 Oh, no.

00:52:34.000 You do my combo.

00:52:36.000 Do you want to sit up? 0.82

00:52:38.000 Let me see the pants. 1.00

00:52:41.000 I mean, and look at the skin difference. 0.53

00:52:47.000 I'm not full.

00:52:47.000 Take your shirt off so I can see where the skin changes color.

00:52:50.000 I. Excuse me? 0.97

00:52:52.000 Well, I see where the skin changes color. 0.99

00:52:53.000 If you take your shirt off again, I will. 0.99

00:52:55.000 But I just did.

00:52:56.000 But I want to do it together.

00:52:58.000 Let's do it together.

00:52:58.000 Okay.

00:53:06.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:53:07.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:53:09.000 You. 1.00

00:53:10.000 Rogan.

00:53:12.000 What have you done for me?

00:53:14.000 What? 1.00

00:53:15.000 Where did she get those fucking pants? 1.00

00:53:18.000 Don't fall in there. 1.00

00:53:23.000 Don't fall in there.

00:53:26.000 A gourd.

00:53:30.000 See, the only thing I could fit in there was a gourd.

00:53:37.000 Oh my god.

00:53:47.000 Joe. 1.00

00:53:50.000 When I first saw your legs, I was like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:53:53.000 How does he have legs like that? 1.00

00:53:54.000 I noticed her legs.

00:53:55.000 He's got some baggy pants on.

00:53:57.000 I know, Jamie knows that apparently.

00:53:59.000 You feel weird. 1.00

00:54:00.000 Where the fuck did she get those pants? 0.99

00:54:04.000 Dude, why can't I look good? 1.00

00:54:07.000 You look great.

00:54:08.000 God. 1.00

00:54:09.000 Like, you can wear those to a pool, like a public pool, and the ladies would definitely be checking you out. 1.00

00:54:14.000 Yeah.

00:54:15.000 They'd be like, look at his gourd.

00:54:19.000 Can I leave the gourd with Dimitri?

00:54:21.000 Can we add to the collection?

00:54:23.000 I'm going to have people smell it.

00:54:24.000 I'm going to tell them, smell that.

00:54:26.000 And then I'm going to tell them that was in Harlan Williams' pants.

00:54:26.000 Smell that.

00:54:30.000 Not even in his pants.

00:54:30.000 Dude.

00:54:31.000 It was like rubbing up against his cock. 1.00

00:54:33.000 I'm going to leave that there for people to smell. 1.00

00:54:35.000 Yeah.

00:54:36.000 Yeah, next time someone comes in, what's all this stuff here?

00:54:40.000 I'm like, smell that.

00:54:41.000 Can I pull my pants up?

00:54:42.000 Yeah, sure.

00:54:43.000 Feels weird sitting here with my pants down.

00:54:46.000 Well, you are wearing pants.

00:54:48.000 You're wearing rubber pants.

00:54:49.000 Well, rubber muscle pants.

00:54:51.000 Come on. 1.00

00:54:52.000 Don't you want legs like that for real? 0.99

00:54:54.000 Sure. 0.63

00:54:55.000 Wouldn't that be awesome?

00:54:57.000 That's like me saying, don't you want a chest like that for real?

00:55:00.000 You're hairier than I thought. 1.00

00:55:02.000 Are you part Armenian? 1.00

00:55:02.000 Really? 1.00

00:55:07.000 Are you?

00:55:08.000 No.

00:55:09.000 Great.

00:55:09.000 No.

00:55:11.000 Hang on, I gotta pull my pants up.

00:55:17.000 God.

00:55:18.000 Somehow, this looks like from behind.

00:55:20.000 Put this board back in.

00:55:25.000 There we go.

00:55:29.000 Ah, stuck.

00:55:31.000 Ah. 1.00

00:55:32.000 Blur that, I don't know. 0.89

00:55:33.000 Do we have to blur it?

00:55:34.000 I don't know.

00:55:35.000 No, it's a gourd.

00:55:36.000 And you're worried about a song getting dinged?

00:55:44.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:55:48.000 Silly motherfucker. 1.00

00:55:49.000 Joe. 1.00

00:55:58.000 Oh, my God.

00:56:00.000 Do you know how crying? 0.98

00:56:01.000 Do you know how moist my balls are right now? 0.99

00:56:04.000 Yeah, how bad that gourd must smell. 1.00

00:56:10.000 Joe.

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00:57:14.000 But I am proud of you because.

00:57:27.000 I'm proud of you that you took your shirt off because I'm not joking.

00:57:31.000 You worked so hard for that.

00:57:32.000 Thank you.

00:57:33.000 And you could never show it.

00:57:36.000 You had to have a conduit.

00:57:37.000 You had to have someone invite you to do it so it didn't look self centered or conceited.

00:57:43.000 You deserve to show that hard work to the world.

00:57:46.000 Good for you.

00:57:46.000 Thank you.

00:57:47.000 Thank you.

00:57:47.000 And you look great.

00:57:48.000 Thank you very much.

00:57:49.000 You're welcome.

00:57:51.000 I love it.

00:57:52.000 And I hope it's an inspiration to people watching to want to be as physically fit and put together.

00:57:58.000 It's great, right?

00:58:01.000 Sure.

00:58:02.000 I feel like, remember when you were a kid, they had those books where you could take half a body and half a body, and remember their little kids' books and you'd fold them?

00:58:12.000 Yeah, you fold them over.

00:58:13.000 I feel like if we took your upper part and put it on my lower part, we'd have the immaculate human being, and then those fart bubbles from the bottom of the ocean wouldn't have trouble coming around.

00:58:25.000 Yeah.

00:58:26.000 You look like me and Joe Zachary Rogan, those fart bubbles from the areola drench will come up and. 1.00

00:58:34.000 Suck us a dirty lasagna. 1.00

00:58:39.000 Sorry. 0.99

00:58:40.000 I get excited, Joe.

00:58:42.000 Maybe it's the like forever chemicals leaking through the rubber underwear you wear.

00:58:46.000 They're not underwear.

00:58:48.000 How dare you.

00:58:49.000 Those are my legs.

00:58:50.000 You should take them off because you're sweating.

00:58:51.000 That's leaching into your blood right now.

00:58:53.000 All the BPAs.

00:58:55.000 God, I don't want to die. 0.99

00:58:58.000 But you know what's interesting?

00:59:00.000 My legs are bronze. 0.98

00:59:03.000 And we don't talk about the bronze people, we always talk about white and black. 1.00

00:59:07.000 But what about the Bronzies? 0.84

00:59:10.000 The Incas, the Mayas. 1.00

00:59:12.000 I mean, these people and the legs on them.

00:59:15.000 Did you ever see Apocalypto? 0.98

00:59:17.000 And I don't know if this is in any history books anywhere, but those Bronzies could motor. 1.00

00:59:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:59:23.000 True.

00:59:24.000 So I've got legs where if I'm being chased, if a rapist is coming after me, I'm out of here.

00:59:33.000 There's three men in this room. 0.99

00:59:34.000 Two of you are getting raped, not me. 0.99

00:59:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:37.000 Wow. 1.00

00:59:38.000 I mean, these legs, I could jump over Dolly Parton's gazebo. 1.00

00:59:46.000 By the way, speaking of areolas, have you seen hers? 0.52

00:59:49.000 I haven't. 0.80

00:59:50.000 They're the size of lily pads.

00:59:51.000 How do you know?

00:59:52.000 I had a one-nighter with her about three weeks ago.

00:59:55.000 A one-night show?

00:59:56.000 A one-night stand.

00:59:57.000 We were jackhammering all night.

01:00:00.000 Picked her up at a bar in Malibu. 1.00

01:00:02.000 I don't think it was really Dolly Parton.

01:00:02.000 Hammerjacked.

01:00:03.000 It was.

01:00:04.000 It was part.

01:00:05.000 Oh, she was that night.

01:00:06.000 You sure it wasn't a lady wearing a mask? 0.82

01:00:08.000 Dude, it was her. 1.00

01:00:09.000 And her areoles are the size of lily pads.

01:00:12.000 I'm not kidding. 1.00

01:00:13.000 I woke up in the morning, there were two bullfrogs sitting on her tits. 1.00

01:00:21.000 Why are you looking at me like that? 1.00

01:00:22.000 She's kind of old to be fucking. 1.00

01:00:25.000 Not for me. 1.00

01:00:25.000 Have you seen my legs? 1.00

01:00:27.000 Also, she's a very respected lady. 1.00

01:00:28.000 I think it's very rude.

01:00:30.000 80.

01:00:31.000 Very respected.

01:00:32.000 It's the way I said effing.

01:00:34.000 We made love.

01:00:36.000 Oh, okay.

01:00:36.000 I feel better.

01:00:37.000 We made love, and her areoles are the size of lily pads.

01:00:40.000 I feel a lot better now.

01:00:41.000 Yeah.

01:00:41.000 Sorry.

01:00:41.000 I didn't mean to.

01:00:42.000 Yeah.

01:00:43.000 I should keep it classy. 1.00

01:00:44.000 Do you like them big, the big areoles?

01:00:46.000 I like a big areole.

01:00:47.000 It reminds me of a pancake.

01:00:49.000 Yeah.

01:00:50.000 Like sometimes I'll put a dollop of butter on it. 0.98

01:00:52.000 It's a robust woman. 0.89

01:00:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:54.000 Like it's a lot going on there, those big areoles. 1.00

01:00:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:58.000 And the dark ones.

01:01:00.000 And they're great to take with you camping.

01:01:02.000 If you ever have a rubber raft and you get a hole in it, you can rip one off and patch it.

01:01:07.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:01:08.000 Yeah.

01:01:09.000 That's not what I was thinking.

01:01:10.000 Well, you don't camp much.

01:01:12.000 Just bring a patch.

01:01:13.000 Yeah, but if you don't have one, you can rip off a dirty areola.

01:01:17.000 You're hoping you're going to get out of the woods. 1.00

01:01:19.000 Well, if you can't, and you're with a chick, you got an areola.

01:01:23.000 Lose your areola forever just because you forgot to bring a patch? 0.86

01:01:26.000 Yeah, but what do you want?

01:01:29.000 You're one areola less, so you have your life back. 0.92

01:01:31.000 Plus, if she's 80, those don't heal that good.

01:01:35.000 She could die from infection.

01:01:36.000 It's about living, it's not about having an areola. 0.81

01:01:41.000 You want to get out of the woods or not, one titty Jackson, or whatever her name is?

01:01:46.000 Okay. 0.93

01:01:47.000 Tough love.

01:01:48.000 Speaking of sex, have you been on this OnlyFans thing?

01:01:52.000 Have you gone on? 0.85

01:01:53.000 No, I don't go on.

01:01:54.000 It's all I'm hearing about.

01:01:56.000 All you hear about now is OnlyFans.com.

01:01:56.000 Right?

01:01:59.000 Yep.

01:02:00.000 They do comedy shows.

01:02:01.000 I finally go on this thing because it's all I'm hearing about.

01:02:04.000 OnlyFans.com.

01:02:06.000 I go on about a week ago and I'm on there for about two hours.

01:02:10.000 And it's just video after video after picture.

01:02:13.000 And I'm on there so long, my eyes are like spinning. 0.98

01:02:18.000 And finally, I stop the damn thing and I'm like, screw this. 0.98

01:02:21.000 I already have central air conditioning. 0.98

01:02:23.000 Why the hell am I looking at this site?

01:02:26.000 I don't need a fan.

01:02:28.000 I mean, good Lord.

01:02:41.000 I'll pull my legs out. 1.00

01:02:42.000 I will pull my dirty bronze legs out and wrap them around your neck like a dirty anaconda. 1.00

01:02:48.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

01:02:50.000 Do you think if you're a woman, you'd be doing OnlyFans? 1.00

01:02:53.000 You know, it's an interesting question.

01:02:56.000 It's a moral dilemma, isn't it?

01:02:58.000 Let's imagine if Harlan was a female and Harlan was 21 and just got here from Canada. 0.60

01:03:04.000 With those legs.

01:03:04.000 With these legs?

01:03:06.000 And not a lot of ways to make a living, but you're cute.

01:03:09.000 Desperate.

01:03:10.000 Times call for desperate matters, Joe Rogan.

01:03:14.000 You know, it's a serious question and it's almost a sad one in today's world.

01:03:19.000 It is.

01:03:20.000 Because in the old days, you had your sex industry sort of confined to the shadows.

01:03:27.000 And now, anyone's daughter, cousin, niece, nephew, they can suddenly be exposed to the world in the most promiscuous way, but in the most profitable way.

01:03:38.000 That's the problem, is also you get addicted to the money.

01:03:40.000 Let's imagine. 1.00

01:03:42.000 Let's imagine you're a lady. 1.00

01:03:44.000 And you have a site and you show your feet and stick things inside your butt or whatever you do. 1.00

01:03:50.000 And you're making. 0.99

01:03:51.000 What was that last part? 1.00

01:03:53.000 Stick stuff inside your butt. 1.00

01:03:54.000 If you're a lady. 1.00

01:03:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:56.000 Like what? 1.00

01:03:57.000 Some ladies, they put dildos in there and stuff. 1.00

01:04:01.000 Okay, have you ever seen that? 1.00

01:04:02.000 No, but I'm just assuming it happens.

01:04:04.000 Doesn't that happen, Jamie?

01:04:06.000 Sure.

01:04:06.000 You've never seen a lady do that?

01:04:09.000 I'm pure as a driven snow, sir. 0.99

01:04:11.000 Joe?

01:04:13.000 Not in real life.

01:04:15.000 No.

01:04:15.000 You haven't?

01:04:16.000 Stick a rubber dick inside their butthole? 1.00

01:04:19.000 I don't want to be there for that. 1.00

01:04:20.000 I'm not interested in that.

01:04:22.000 I'm not interested.

01:04:22.000 Why not?

01:04:23.000 You ever been through a car wash?

01:04:25.000 I have.

01:04:26.000 What's the difference?

01:04:28.000 It's a big difference. 1.00

01:04:29.000 One of them is your butt where you shit out of and you're putting a rubber dick inside of it. 1.00

01:04:32.000 The other one is you're getting your car washed. 1.00

01:04:33.000 You make a good point.

01:04:36.000 Point is, if you were making, if you're doing all this and you developed a nice fan base, you're making $100,000 a month, $300,000 a month, and then you don't feel good about yourself.

01:04:48.000 And what do you do?

01:04:49.000 Do you just save up the money and quit?

01:04:52.000 If you meet a nice guy and he's like, So, what do you do for a living? 0.97

01:04:56.000 You're like, Well, let me tell you, I don't want to do it anymore, but I take rubber dicks and I oil my butthole up and I shove them in there with an HD camera a few inches from my butthole. 0.97

01:05:09.000 The guy sent me tips. 0.98

01:05:11.000 I think the subtext here, Joe, is What is the price you put on your dignity?

01:05:18.000 What is the price you put on your spirit?

01:05:18.000 Right.

01:05:23.000 Because this stuff, it may seem fun in the moment, but you get down the road and it follows you.

01:05:32.000 You know, we looked it up.

01:05:33.000 Yeah.

01:05:34.000 And it's something crazy like 10% of girls aged 18 to 24 in the United States are on OnlyFans.

01:05:43.000 This is a tough question, and you can tell me to shut up if you want.

01:05:46.000 Okay.

01:05:47.000 You have a daughter, don't you?

01:05:48.000 I have three daughters.

01:05:49.000 You have three daughters.

01:05:50.000 I have four sisters.

01:05:52.000 If one of your daughters told you she was doing OnlyFans, what would your reaction be?

01:05:58.000 I think I made a big failure as a parent.

01:06:01.000 But how would you approach it with said daughter?

01:06:04.000 Well, you would give them advice.

01:06:06.000 First of all, your daughter or your son is a human being.

01:06:10.000 You don't own them, right?

01:06:11.000 Good point.

01:06:12.000 Touchy point, but good point.

01:06:14.000 If you treat them like you own them and they have to listen to you, they'll never listen to you and they're going to rebel.

01:06:20.000 This is just human nature.

01:06:21.000 Excellent point.

01:06:22.000 I'm with you so far.

01:06:23.000 You have to give them advice and you have to talk to them and talk to them about the repercussions of what they're doing and realize that this stuff will follow you.

01:06:31.000 And some people are going to be fine with that. 1.00

01:06:32.000 Look, there's some ladies that are like, look, I don't ever want a fucking regular job. 1.00

01:06:35.000 I'm not, I'm ashamed of my body. 1.00

01:06:38.000 And maybe they're not sticking things up their butt. 0.99

01:06:41.000 Maybe they're just being naked and they're like, this is way better than having a job. 0.99

01:06:44.000 Fine.

01:06:45.000 What does it say here?

01:06:47.000 Top 1%.

01:06:48.000 Top earners make about $18,000 to $49,000 per year.

01:06:52.000 Whoa, that's it?

01:06:53.000 That's not much.

01:06:54.000 I could work at Denny's for that.

01:06:56.000 What?

01:06:56.000 So the top 0.1% make $100,000 per month or $1.2 million annual.

01:07:02.000 That's the top 0.1.

01:07:05.000 But the top 1% only make $18,000 to $49,000 a year.

01:07:10.000 So, you imagine you're making $18,000 or $49,000 a year.

01:07:13.000 You're still living in poverty. 1.00

01:07:16.000 If you're making $18,000 a year, you're poor and you are showing your pussy and you're not paying for it. 1.00

01:07:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:22.000 Wait a minute.

01:07:23.000 But, Joe, I know that you.

01:07:26.000 Look at that.

01:07:27.000 You have a bit of a rage side.

01:07:29.000 Like, Joe knows how to rage because you're a fighter.

01:07:32.000 You know how to go into that red zone.

01:07:34.000 You can be an intimidating force.

01:07:37.000 Is there a world where your daughter says, Daddy, I'm doing this? 1.00

01:07:40.000 And Joe just goes, You're fucking not. 0.99

01:07:43.000 Like, do you go into the red zone or just.? 0.99

01:07:46.000 If you do that with your kids, they're not going to listen to you.

01:07:48.000 But what if you did it just because of the reaction where you were so mad or disappointed in the reaction?

01:07:53.000 I would only be that mad if someone was doing something terrible to them.

01:07:56.000 Okay.

01:07:58.000 You're a good dad.

01:07:59.000 Well, you have to be.

01:08:00.000 I like what I'm hearing here.

01:08:02.000 You have to be a human.

01:08:04.000 Yeah.

01:08:04.000 You're their parent, but you also.

01:08:06.000 You've got to understand human nature.

01:08:09.000 I know people that yell at their kids, and I know kids that have been yelled at, and they always resent that, they're always angry. 1.00

01:08:16.000 It's a stupid way to handle things. 1.00

01:08:17.000 Something happened here just now that I was not expecting today. 1.00

01:08:21.000 What's that?

01:08:22.000 I got to see a side of you that I didn't know if it was there or not because I don't know your family life, but I got to feel for a second dad vibes, dad love.

01:08:34.000 And I think I sort of pictured you sitting with your daughter and being very reasonable and loving.

01:08:40.000 Well, hopefully, I'd never have to have that conversation.

01:08:42.000 I hope so too.

01:08:43.000 But I see you as an understanding, nurturing dad in that moment.

01:08:47.000 I love that.

01:08:48.000 I try to be.

01:08:49.000 Yeah.

01:08:50.000 That's the goal.

01:08:51.000 I mean, if you want to have a relationship with your kids.

01:08:54.000 And, you know, my daughters are teenagers now, too.

01:08:56.000 And we've never gone through a period where you always hear these periods where the kids rebel against you and they hate you.

01:09:02.000 Yeah.

01:09:02.000 Teenagers.

01:09:03.000 That's never happened.

01:09:04.000 And I think it's probably never happened because we always just communicate.

01:09:08.000 And I try to be as reasonable and open minded as possible.

01:09:13.000 I love it.

01:09:13.000 That's what I can do.

01:09:14.000 But also, you've got to be very supportive, too.

01:09:16.000 Yeah.

01:09:16.000 It's hard to be a kid, man.

01:09:17.000 It's even harder to be a kid today than ever before because of social media and all the pressures that they face.

01:09:23.000 And then also, this weird world that they're entering into where AI might be taking all the jobs. 0.73

01:09:28.000 So they're like, what the fuck am I going to do?

01:09:30.000 What am I going to do with my life? 0.89

01:09:32.000 I love AI.

01:09:33.000 You're all in?

01:09:33.000 Do you?

01:09:34.000 I'm all in.

01:09:35.000 What's your favorite part about it?

01:09:37.000 I love it, Joe, because it's opening a door to creativity for everybody.

01:09:45.000 Now, a lot of people are being pessimistic and saying it's taking away our creativity.

01:09:51.000 But think about any art gallery you've ever been to.

01:09:54.000 You go in, you see the Renoir, the Degas, the Dali, all the usual suspects Van Gogh, Goya, all of them, right?

01:10:03.000 Those have all been placed there over the centuries as the art that we all know and have adopted.

01:10:11.000 And that came from a select group of individuals, very talented, contributed to our culture and our history, but it's a pool of about maybe 200 artists through the course of history.

01:10:26.000 Right.

01:10:26.000 Now, think about a guy you bumped into working in the sprinkler aisle at Home Depot three weeks ago who's got a wife and kids and maybe doesn't have the opportunity or the wherewithal to tap into his artistry.

01:10:42.000 But now that guy and the guy at Dunkin' Donuts and the girl that works at the car wash and every human being now has a way to express their hidden talents.

01:10:54.000 And so with AI, they can go home at the end of the night and press a few buttons and go, I imagined this thing, and AI is letting me get it out, and the world gets to see it.

01:11:04.000 Same with medicine, same with inventions.

01:11:06.000 How many Elon Musk's are there that grew up in poverty and never got the chance to expand on a concept or an idea because they didn't have the means?

01:11:16.000 But if AI starts to open these doors for every human being, think of the barrage of incredible visual and conceptual designs that are going to come at us, and a lot of them will probably be practical and actually work.

01:11:31.000 And the common man and woman didn't have access to that before.

01:11:35.000 That's one way of looking at it.

01:11:37.000 That's super positive.

01:11:38.000 I love it.

01:11:38.000 That's true.

01:11:39.000 Example in my own life, I come from the animation world and I like to write.

01:11:46.000 And a few years back, I pitched an animation idea around Hollywood and it got rejected.

01:11:52.000 And so now me and a few of my friends in the dawn of AI are creating the same thing that got rejected and we're going to put it out into the world.

01:12:01.000 We couldn't have done it two, three years ago.

01:12:02.000 It would have cost us $3 million.

01:12:05.000 Now we're doing it for a few thousand.

01:12:07.000 And it looks like a Pixar movie.

01:12:10.000 It looks like Pixar.

01:12:11.000 So if you tell me that AI isn't opening a whole new world, it's not true.

01:12:18.000 It's letting all of us dig really deep and expose our gifts and our talents.

01:12:18.000 It is.

01:12:23.000 And yeah, there's always the downside, but let's try and look at the good side of it, too.

01:12:29.000 I like what you're saying.

01:12:30.000 Thank you, Joe.

01:12:32.000 The downside is the people that don't want to be creative and they want to be accountants.

01:12:37.000 Or they want to be lawyers, or they want to, like, those jobs are going to be in the same way.

01:12:41.000 Stop.

01:12:41.000 How about that accountant?

01:12:41.000 Stop.

01:12:43.000 It's an accountant because he can never tap into the artistry that hides within him, or the lawyer.

01:12:48.000 But now, after hitting the machines all day, he can go home and go, you know what?

01:12:48.000 Perhaps.

01:12:53.000 I never could have done this before, but I'm going to create an image, a painting, a drawing in 10 minutes that I've always wanted to show the world.

01:13:02.000 So that's what I'm saying.

01:13:03.000 Even those pessimists can now throw off the demons on their back that are inhibiting them.

01:13:09.000 And it's going to allow all of us to be so much more expressive.

01:13:13.000 Okay.

01:13:14.000 That's my take.

01:13:15.000 Well, hopefully.

01:13:17.000 I mean, that's the question.

01:13:18.000 Like, what do people do if there's no more jobs and you just get money from the government because AI creates so much abundant resource that no one has to work anymore?

01:13:26.000 Are you going to find things to do that are interesting?

01:13:29.000 And maybe AI is going to help you do that.

01:13:32.000 I'll tell you this, Joe.

01:13:34.000 In probably seven or eight years, I bet we're sitting here, me and you, going, remember AI?

01:13:43.000 Because we're humans, man.

01:13:44.000 We don't stop.

01:13:45.000 People think AI is going to be the end of the line.

01:13:48.000 It's just another stepping stone to our progression to where we're meant to go.

01:13:53.000 You believe in higher forces.

01:13:55.000 I know that.

01:13:56.000 So, this is just one of the stairs.

01:13:57.000 Remember when people thought, I'm not getting a cell phone.

01:14:00.000 I'm not getting on the internet.

01:14:02.000 I don't want a fax machine.

01:14:04.000 But we just keep going.

01:14:05.000 We're humans.

01:14:06.000 We keep going up those stairs.

01:14:08.000 We're adventurers.

01:14:09.000 We're curious.

01:14:10.000 We never stop.

01:14:11.000 And so, AI is just another small thing, as big as it seems.

01:14:15.000 Now, as robust as it seems, it's just a small step in the giant ladder that's leading this weird species that we are to a bigger, higher, distant place.

01:14:28.000 Hmm.

01:14:29.000 Look at you, dude.

01:14:30.000 You should do a seminar.

01:14:31.000 I should show my legs again.

01:14:33.000 You should tell everybody all these thoughts you have.

01:14:36.000 Well, I'm telling right now, we're sharing them.

01:14:39.000 Yeah.

01:14:40.000 But don't you think all these things we come up with are leading to something where we're meant to go?

01:14:46.000 Yes.

01:14:47.000 I don't think we're all just here randomly and wars and fighting and this.

01:14:50.000 I think it's all, we're the worker ants right now.

01:14:55.000 And we're the platform for the future worker ants to get to the pinnacle that we don't even know what it is yet.

01:15:01.000 And maybe there is no pinnacle.

01:15:03.000 But whatever force created us, Joe, they want us to keep going.

01:15:07.000 That's why we search the oceans and the space and the moon and the planets.

01:15:12.000 We're going to keep going.

01:15:14.000 And AI is a tool for us to get there.

01:15:16.000 So you can be pessimistic.

01:15:18.000 You can be like, oh, AI, and oh.

01:15:21.000 But why don't you just spend your time looking at the positive side of things?

01:15:26.000 I agree with you about the direction that we're going.

01:15:28.000 I think that's what we're meant to do.

01:15:30.000 Yeah.

01:15:32.000 I just think that we are in a time of insane change, and that makes people scared.

01:15:38.000 It does.

01:15:39.000 But, you know, being scared also makes us feel alive.

01:15:39.000 Yeah.

01:15:45.000 Think about the most vibrant moments in your life.

01:15:49.000 How about after 9 11?

01:15:50.000 Remember those days?

01:15:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:15:51.000 People, people, it's like someone kicked the ant nest open and we were all scurrying around looking for the eggs.

01:15:57.000 The ants always preserve the eggs.

01:15:59.000 Yeah.

01:16:00.000 But those eggs were our lives and our neighbors.

01:16:02.000 We were talking and communicating.

01:16:04.000 We were friendly with each other.

01:16:05.000 That's right.

01:16:06.000 We realized the importance of a communal existence.

01:16:06.000 Yeah.

01:16:10.000 Mm hmm.

01:16:10.000 We realized the importance of needing each other.

01:16:13.000 Yeah.

01:16:13.000 People get very complacent and they need to be shook up every now and then.

01:16:16.000 Yeah.

01:16:17.000 It's very good for you.

01:16:18.000 And maybe AI, if If there's one downside to it, it could maybe create a bigger cocoon for us because we'll have so much at our fingertips, it may isolate us even more.

01:16:29.000 But we have to look beyond all these weird parameters we set and go, what's the upside?

01:16:35.000 What's it doing for us?

01:16:37.000 Well, it's inevitable and it's going to happen no matter what.

01:16:39.000 And I think people always figure out a way to be okay.

01:16:42.000 Yeah.

01:16:42.000 And I think that's going to happen.

01:16:44.000 And there's going to be a time of great upheaval and it's going to change a lot.

01:16:48.000 But hopefully, people will be all right and they're going to have to adapt and learn and grow.

01:16:53.000 And we always have.

01:16:54.000 And we always have.

01:16:55.000 And we always will.

01:16:56.000 And most likely it'll be better for everybody overall.

01:16:59.000 This idea that Elon keeps pushing is universal high income, is that people will have plenty of money, abundant resources, and there's not going to be a problem of food, shelter, medical, education.

01:17:12.000 All that stuff's going to go away because of AI.

01:17:15.000 And the real problem would be what do you decide to do with your life?

01:17:18.000 What do you decide to do with your time?

01:17:20.000 But you'll have the freedom to do whatever you want with your time.

01:17:20.000 Right.

01:17:22.000 Just think about how little crime there's going to be if there's abundant resources and no one has to steal anymore.

01:17:29.000 No more stealing, no more robbing, and no more poverty.

01:17:32.000 Literally, no more poverty.

01:17:34.000 I don't know if that's possible or if it is in 50 years or 100 years, but no more poverty is wild.

01:17:41.000 No more poverty is a reality.

01:17:43.000 Criminality, I think, you have to remember there's people who don't engage in criminality to make money, they engage in criminality as a passion.

01:17:54.000 A lot of criminals like the process.

01:17:57.000 They like the game playing.

01:17:58.000 They like the herd and the chess moves.

01:18:01.000 They like winning.

01:18:02.000 They like deceiving.

01:18:04.000 Right. 0.80

01:18:04.000 They like drug dealing. 0.80

01:18:05.000 Right. 1.00

01:18:06.000 Making a big deal, and a submarine shows up in San Diego and they pull the fucking Coke bags out. 0.99

01:18:11.000 Right. 0.99

01:18:11.000 Or throw them in the back of a Mercedes. 0.99

01:18:13.000 Yeah.

01:18:13.000 They love the Miami Vice team, bro.

01:18:15.000 That's a thrill.

01:18:16.000 Yeah.

01:18:17.000 Or there's even the adversarial component where they like the idea of killing their competition.

01:18:23.000 Yeah, it's a war.

01:18:24.000 So I don't think we'll ever transcend the criminal element of it.

01:18:30.000 We could.

01:18:32.000 You never know, though.

01:18:33.000 If AI develops to the point where we have literal telepathy and we could read each other's minds, you won't be able to plot any kind of crimes like that anymore.

01:18:42.000 Or, and this is because I think it never ends, does AI.

01:18:47.000 Design something to help us plot.

01:18:50.000 You know what I mean?

01:18:51.000 Maybe it just, if you're a criminal, it just puts you in a simulation where you're allowed to do like Grand Theft Auto, but in real life.

01:18:57.000 Yeah.

01:18:58.000 You know, you just lock in, and all of a sudden you're in the streets of Chicago.

01:19:02.000 Yeah.

01:19:02.000 You're running down the street with a gun.

01:19:03.000 You shoot a guy and take his Mercedes, and he's having a good time.

01:19:08.000 But then you come right back to real life.

01:19:11.000 Everything's fine.

01:19:11.000 And it's fine.

01:19:12.000 Yeah.

01:19:14.000 This is what I like that it's so endless, and it's going to take so many twists and turns.

01:19:19.000 Well, then the question is, has that already happened?

01:19:22.000 Are we in a simulation right now?

01:19:23.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:24.000 I think we talked about this last time.

01:19:26.000 A lot of people think we are.

01:19:27.000 I don't believe so.

01:19:28.000 You're smarter than me.

01:19:29.000 But can I take you back a second?

01:19:32.000 Take me back to the old days.

01:19:34.000 Exactly. 0.95

01:19:35.000 Picture Pioneer Village Betty O'Connor churning some butter down by the blacksmith shop.

01:19:42.000 Kyle McGivens shaving timbers to build a log cabin. 0.99

01:19:48.000 Amish. 0.99

01:19:48.000 Do you think that those people who are in covered wagons and were us? 0.99

01:19:54.000 Just the old version of us.

01:19:56.000 Do you think they ever pulled the covered wagon to the side of the trail and went, Hey, Jedidiah, do you think we're in a simulation?

01:20:05.000 Like, I think we've created this simulation talk because we do have all this computer and, you know, we're in this world now that's full of contraptions.

01:20:16.000 Okay, let me ask you.

01:20:17.000 But I don't think we're in a simulation.

01:20:19.000 But go ahead.

01:20:20.000 Are you sure the Pioneer Days even happened? 1.00

01:20:24.000 Wow, you got me, you son of a whore. 1.00

01:20:26.000 I'm walking off the show. 1.00

01:20:28.000 I'm walking off the show. 1.00

01:20:29.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:20:30.000 And this isn't a simulation. 1.00

01:20:32.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:20:32.000 This is big rubber legs. 0.99

01:20:39.000 The only guy to walk off your show with fake legs.

01:20:44.000 I mean, if you think about it, we think that the Pioneer Days happen.

01:20:48.000 We can go to the museum and we can see Pioneer Day wheels.

01:20:51.000 What about the butter churning, Joe?

01:20:53.000 Butter church.

01:20:54.000 There's a bunch of people that studied it in universities, allegedly, if they're real people.

01:21:00.000 I don't even know if they're real.

01:21:01.000 I don't even know if you're real.

01:21:02.000 Why would you have rubber legs?

01:21:03.000 This doesn't make sense. 1.00

01:21:05.000 You showed up here with rubber pants and a gourd over your cock. 1.00

01:21:10.000 It doesn't make any sense. 1.00

01:21:11.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:21:12.000 I don't even think I'm real anymore.

01:21:13.000 You might not be.

01:21:14.000 Good point.

01:21:16.000 For real, for real.

01:21:17.000 I think we're real.

01:21:19.000 I think it's not a simulation.

01:21:20.000 I don't know.

01:21:21.000 How do you make a simulation?

01:21:23.000 Like, how, what, we're just We're all like pixels right now, and like there's too much.

01:21:28.000 Do you know the DMT laser thing?

01:21:32.000 What do you mean?

01:21:33.000 So, when people smoke DMT, apparently, if you use like a DeWalt construction laser, you know, those lasers they use to make sure things are level?

01:21:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:21:42.000 If you get above that laser and look down on it, you see code in the laser.

01:21:49.000 Like matrix code, like the numbers?

01:21:51.000 Matrix code.

01:21:51.000 It's like people see the same code, they describe it exactly the same.

01:21:56.000 Okay.

01:21:56.000 And so people see it.

01:21:58.000 If you look to the side, you look underneath it, you see the code in the laser.

01:22:02.000 And people think that this laser is exposing the code of the simulation that we live in.

01:22:07.000 This is supposedly what it looks like.

01:22:10.000 I mean, I just am not there.

01:22:13.000 You see symbols and like weird numbers.

01:22:16.000 I haven't done it.

01:22:17.000 If I see the whole drum set, I'm in.

01:22:19.000 But if it's just the symbols, forget it.

01:22:21.000 I haven't done it, but I know a lot of people who have done it.

01:22:25.000 And everyone that I know that's done it has said the same thing. 0.99

01:22:28.000 They said, it is fucking insane. 0.99

01:22:29.000 DMT? 0.97

01:22:31.000 No, yeah, but DMT with this laser thing. 0.99

01:22:33.000 So when you look down the laser, everybody that I know that's done it says, it blew their fucking mind. 0.91

01:22:39.000 You see all these weird symbols. 0.98

01:22:41.000 They look like hieroglyphs or some foreign language or numbers.

01:22:45.000 And it's very bizarre.

01:22:46.000 Mm hmm.

01:22:48.000 I don't know.

01:22:49.000 It just seems to me why run us through the drama of a life, a human life where we're born, we endure pain, illness, suffering, love, hate, all the emotions just to be a simulation?

01:23:04.000 I don't get the reason for that.

01:23:06.000 What's the reason for if it's not a simulation?

01:23:09.000 It's organic.

01:23:10.000 It's just organic life.

01:23:12.000 But okay, what is organic?

01:23:14.000 It's made of the earth, born of the environment.

01:23:17.000 Right, but isn't that like this entire computing process where single celled organisms?

01:23:21.000 Figured out how to become multi celled organisms, figured out how to interact with their environment, figured out the ecosystem, figured out how to balance itself off with both predator and prey and food and water and resources.

01:23:32.000 Right, but it's so very intricate and delicate.

01:23:36.000 You have to bring into the question was it organic or organic under the guise of a bigger creator?

01:23:44.000 Well, maybe the bigger creator is the simulation itself. 0.99

01:23:48.000 Damn it, Rogan. 0.99

01:23:49.000 You know, I'm out. 1.00

01:23:50.000 Maybe the problem.

01:23:51.000 Maybe the problem.

01:23:52.000 I'm out. 1.00

01:23:53.000 Take them rubber legs and get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:23:55.000 Maybe the problem is calling it a simulation. 0.99

01:23:58.000 Yeah, I like that.

01:23:59.000 Maybe it's not that it's not real, but that there is an underlying program that's running.

01:24:05.000 Maybe instead of thinking of a simulation, because you think of it as a simulation, you think of it as not real.

01:24:10.000 Like, when I slap my arm, it hurts a little.

01:24:13.000 Like, that's real.

01:24:14.000 Right.

01:24:15.000 If I knock my knee, that hurts.

01:24:17.000 But it's not that it's not real, but that it's running a program.

01:24:22.000 And this program, what we talked about earlier, When you're saying that people are moving towards something bigger and a new version of what we are, maybe that's a part of the program.

01:24:32.000 Maybe the program is that all of these different components have to work together.

01:24:36.000 This is why we'll never get rid of evil.

01:24:39.000 You need evil so that you appreciate good.

01:24:41.000 You want rainy days so you appreciate the sunshine.

01:24:44.000 You want like good times and bad times.

01:24:47.000 You have to have a little bit of bad times so you appreciate the good times. 0.98

01:24:49.000 You have to have some days where you feel like shit so that you appreciate good days. 0.98

01:24:53.000 You have to have bad friends so you appreciate really good friends. 0.99

01:24:56.000 All that stuff balances itself out and it's moving towards something.

01:24:56.000 Okay.

01:25:00.000 And what is it moving towards?

01:25:01.000 The thing that we're involved in right now AI.

01:25:04.000 It's moving towards the creation of a new life form that's far more intelligent than we are.

01:25:11.000 And it's probably a part of this whole process.

01:25:13.000 Okay.

01:25:15.000 I like what you just said.

01:25:15.000 Valid.

01:25:17.000 But I'm going to expand on it a little.

01:25:19.000 Push through.

01:25:20.000 You're coming at it from a human perspective where you're channeling it through, you know, a human mind, which is beautiful and endless, and we can think.

01:25:30.000 Beyond the scope of who knows where our imaginations end.

01:25:35.000 But that's because we're humans and we have the capacity.

01:25:38.000 But to the schools of salmon spawning up the river and the moose fighting with a grizzly bear right now and the ants running around in their nest, why would they be part of a simulation?

01:25:52.000 And I don't think any other living entity thinks simulation.

01:25:55.000 I don't think you have to say simulation.

01:25:56.000 I think it's a program.

01:25:58.000 And I think all those other different creatures are part of the ecosystem.

01:26:02.000 Like you need the bears. 0.58

01:26:04.000 You need the salmon, you need the deer, you need the vegetation, you need the animals that run through the grasses and shit on them and make manure.

01:26:13.000 All that stuff feeds off, and we exist in that thing, and we're moving in this direction of technological innovation and moving towards this new future that's happening right in front of our eyes right now.

01:26:25.000 But there's so many processes in what you just said.

01:26:29.000 And it's like, why have them all?

01:26:31.000 Why not just plop us down as humans?

01:26:34.000 No.

01:26:34.000 And we don't need trees and grass.

01:26:36.000 We just live in kind of a vacuous, vapid airspace.

01:26:41.000 We still do our jobs, but we don't.

01:26:41.000 No, no, no, no.

01:26:44.000 Why do we need all the why do we need mosquitoes and slugs and fungus?

01:26:48.000 Like, I know why we need them biologically to make everything symbiotic, but if it's just a you just said it, if it's just a thing, if it's not real, why do we need you keep saying that?

01:26:59.000 And I'm not saying that it's not that it's not real, it's a program.

01:27:02.000 We're running a program, it's clearly real.

01:27:06.000 What is real?

01:27:06.000 What real is you experience it as real consequences for your actions.

01:27:10.000 You feel things, you touch things, you eat, you sleep, you need you have resources.

01:27:15.000 It's all real.

01:27:16.000 You're asking a guy with fake legs what's real?

01:27:19.000 You have a fake tattoo, too.

01:27:20.000 Two of them.

01:27:22.000 Oh, Billy.

01:27:27.000 I mean, it's like.

01:27:27.000 No, I like this.

01:27:28.000 I like where you're going.

01:27:29.000 I don't know if it's fake, but what I'm saying is it might be a program that runs, that makes people, and those people eventually make AI.

01:27:39.000 And that might be the whole purpose of the program.

01:27:41.000 We might be in the middle of it.

01:27:43.000 We're in the middle of it.

01:27:44.000 We were born at a time, you and I were both born at a time where none of this existed.

01:27:48.000 We got to experience life.

01:27:49.000 Without any of it.

01:27:51.000 Remember when answering machines first came around?

01:27:52.000 Yeah.

01:27:53.000 Crazy.

01:27:54.000 Yeah.

01:27:54.000 You suddenly could leave a message for it.

01:27:56.000 And then the crazy one was answering machines that you could call your answering machine and get a message.

01:28:02.000 From another phone.

01:28:02.000 Oh.

01:28:03.000 You press in your code.

01:28:05.000 And it was like 12 numbers.

01:28:07.000 Yeah.

01:28:08.000 And you memorized them because we got addicted to it.

01:28:11.000 And then you could listen to your messages.

01:28:13.000 Yeah.

01:28:14.000 And you could even press pound and star to skip over.

01:28:18.000 Yeah.

01:28:18.000 Remember those days?

01:28:19.000 Yeah.

01:28:20.000 You have five messages.

01:28:21.000 It's like, oh, somebody likes me.

01:28:24.000 I remember I'd go do a gig, and the second I'd get off a plane, and a lot of your viewers won't know what this is, I'd run directly to the payphone in the airport and I'd hear my messages instantly.

01:28:36.000 Yeah, that was technology back then.

01:28:39.000 We were living on the edge back then.

01:28:41.000 And by the way, I'm not refuting or denying everything you're saying, but I'm pushing back a little because I can see it's stimulating you to think deeper, and I like hearing your commentary on it.

01:28:52.000 I like it that you're, if I push back a little, it makes you dig deeper to make your point.

01:28:58.000 And I like it.

01:29:00.000 I like what I'm hearing coming from you.

01:29:02.000 Well, I like what you're saying too about simulation, like the idea that it's fake.

01:29:05.000 I don't think it's fake.

01:29:07.000 Yeah.

01:29:07.000 I think it's a real thing.

01:29:09.000 It's obviously a real thing if we're experiencing, like, what is real?

01:29:12.000 Are your dreams real?

01:29:13.000 Yes.

01:29:13.000 Is sleep real?

01:29:14.000 Yes.

01:29:15.000 These are real things.

01:29:17.000 Whether or not you can put it on a scale doesn't mean it's not real.

01:29:19.000 So I don't think the simulation term is the best term.

01:29:23.000 I think it's a program.

01:29:25.000 I think we're running a biological program, and we think of biological as being separate from like math and being separate from like subatomic particles and the fucking confusing quantum world.

01:29:37.000 I don't think it's separate from it at all.

01:29:39.000 I think it's all just one big, super complex program that's running that, if done properly, and we're experiencing it right now, it leads to the creation of artificial life.

01:29:50.000 Okay.

01:29:50.000 And even artificial life is a bad term.

01:29:52.000 Well, it's not artificial, it's real.

01:29:54.000 With all that being said, Where do you visualize the data center being?

01:29:58.000 If it's a program, is it off planet?

01:30:02.000 Is it off galaxy?

01:30:03.000 Is it invisible?

01:30:04.000 Like, doesn't there have to be a data center if we're a program?

01:30:09.000 Or how does it just wisp itself up out of air?

01:30:12.000 I think the universe itself is a program.

01:30:14.000 I think it runs from the beginning of the Big Bang to the formation of neutron stars.

01:30:20.000 And I had this lady on, Michelle Thaler.

01:30:22.000 How do you say her last name? 1.00

01:30:25.000 Thaler.

01:30:26.000 I barely know her. 1.00

01:30:27.000 Amazing lady. 1.00

01:30:28.000 Like, worked for NASA, cosmologist, where she's an astronomer.

01:30:34.000 And we were talking about, like, neutron stars, like, the insanity of neutron stars and how they bend space and time, they warp gravity around them.

01:30:42.000 It's like, Yeah.

01:30:43.000 These things all exist out there in the universe.

01:30:45.000 They're all, I think it's all a part of this program.

01:30:45.000 They do.

01:30:48.000 And I think this program is running on other planets.

01:30:51.000 I think there's other life forms that are doing very similar things.

01:30:55.000 Look, I like the debate.

01:30:57.000 I like your take on it.

01:31:00.000 I just still struggle with the technicality of it all.

01:31:05.000 Uh huh.

01:31:06.000 I just struggle with the technicality of it all if it's just biological life.

01:31:09.000 Let's say it's just random.

01:31:12.000 All this stuff is random.

01:31:12.000 Yeah.

01:31:13.000 Water rained down, bacteria turned into fucking. 1.00

01:31:17.000 Amoebas, platypuses, whatever. 1.00

01:31:20.000 It all just happened slowly but surely.

01:31:22.000 That makes less sense.

01:31:24.000 That makes less sense than a slow program that's running from literally the beginning of single celled organisms, literally the beginning of the formation of planets.

01:31:35.000 That this is like a natural cycle that happens everywhere in the universe.

01:31:39.000 Yeah.

01:31:39.000 It's the reason why these suns spin around and spit out plasma and that stuff coalesces in space.

01:31:47.000 Yeah.

01:31:48.000 Yeah.

01:31:51.000 Terrence Howard, the actor, very eccentric guy.

01:31:54.000 Very eccentric guy.

01:31:54.000 Yeah, he was here.

01:31:55.000 He had a theory that I can't stop thinking about.

01:31:55.000 Yeah.

01:31:58.000 What is it?

01:31:58.000 He thinks that planets are formed because the suns eject particles over time and that these stars eject.

01:32:05.000 We see those, the big plasma ejections and the big solar ejections.

01:32:09.000 Sunspots and all that.

01:32:10.000 He thinks that material eventually gets out into space, eventually forms planets.

01:32:15.000 And then he says when the planets get further from the sun, further enough from the sun, they people.

01:32:15.000 Collapse.

01:32:20.000 And he thinks that's what happens to Earth.

01:32:23.000 You get a certain distance, and then life evolves, and then intelligent life evolves, and then eventually these planets are people.

01:32:30.000 And then when they get too far from the sun, they can no longer support intelligent life.

01:32:35.000 They can no longer support life.

01:32:37.000 So then the people have to get intelligent enough by the time the planet's far enough away where they've figured out a way to bypass all the problems of living on a planet that doesn't have an environment and living on a planet that doesn't have water.

01:32:49.000 They've bypassed all that.

01:32:51.000 They've moved into the next realm of existence, and now they can travel interstellar.

01:32:55.000 Do all that kind of crazy stuff.

01:32:56.000 I wouldn't refute that theory.

01:32:58.000 It's a good theory.

01:32:59.000 I think it's a good theory.

01:33:01.000 I mean, it could explain how we're even here. 0.99

01:33:03.000 Yeah, it also could explain the weird shit on Mars. 0.99

01:33:06.000 Wait a minute. 0.99

01:33:07.000 That Mars at one point in time might have had life.

01:33:09.000 Yeah, the dry lake beds and the.

01:33:12.000 No, the structures.

01:33:13.000 Have you ever seen the structures on Mars?

01:33:14.000 Oh, that face?

01:33:15.000 Have you seen the big square?

01:33:15.000 No.

01:33:17.000 No.

01:33:18.000 Okay.

01:33:18.000 Jamie will show you.

01:33:19.000 There's this weird thing on Mars.

01:33:22.000 By the way, it's in the same area of Cydonia where that face is.

01:33:26.000 The face doesn't look like a face to me.

01:33:29.000 Yeah, it's more shadowy.

01:33:30.000 It's the shadows that make it look like a face. 0.96

01:33:32.000 Yeah, it looked like a face in the early images, but this stuff is fucking weird. 0.86

01:33:37.000 Like, that's weird. 0.86

01:33:38.000 Is that the Glendale Galleria?

01:33:40.000 It is, but it's God.

01:33:42.000 Five million years ago on Mars.

01:33:45.000 So you're saying because geometrically it's a perfect square, you think it's a.

01:33:50.000 Look what that looks like, man.

01:33:52.000 That's nuts.

01:33:53.000 Like, when do right angles like that, that are in the same distance from each other, ever exist in nature?

01:33:59.000 That's crazy.

01:34:00.000 And have they determined what those bumps are?

01:34:02.000 Are those rock structures?

01:34:04.000 They don't even know how big it is because it's somewhere between 300 meters, is like the small estimate, but it might be as far as like a couple of miles.

01:34:04.000 They don't know.

01:34:13.000 Yeah.

01:34:14.000 They don't know how big it is.

01:34:15.000 Look at that thing. 1.00

01:34:16.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

01:34:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:18.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

01:34:19.000 There's a bunch of these things on Mars that are just really weird. 0.99

01:34:23.000 And if at one point in time, I'm talking millions of years ago, hundreds of millions.

01:34:29.000 Who knows?

01:34:30.000 Yeah.

01:34:31.000 How much would be left?

01:34:32.000 Yeah.

01:34:32.000 You know?

01:34:33.000 How many?

01:34:35.000 Let's put this into perplexity, Jamie.

01:34:37.000 How many ancient civilizations have myths about, or instead of do any, how about this?

01:34:47.000 Not how many.

01:34:48.000 Do any ancient civilizations have myths about Mars?

01:34:53.000 Have myths about Mars?

01:34:56.000 It's perfectly feasible.

01:34:58.000 Totally feasible.

01:34:59.000 Yeah.

01:35:00.000 Like, if you think about it, several ancient civilizations have myths or religious associations tied to Mars, usually because they saw it as a bright reddish.

01:35:09.000 And sometimes ominous plan.

01:35:10.000 Hey, don't mansplain to me, bro.

01:35:12.000 Ancient Romans identified Mars with their god of war.

01:35:16.000 Okay.

01:35:17.000 Do any ancient civilizations have a myth about people coming from Mars?

01:35:24.000 How about that?

01:35:29.000 See if that is.

01:35:30.000 Do any have myths about humans coming from Mars?

01:35:35.000 You could just do a follow up question at the bottom there.

01:35:43.000 Here we go.

01:35:43.000 Dun, dun, dun.

01:35:44.000 What do you think?

01:35:45.000 Yes?

01:35:46.000 Wow.

01:35:46.000 Here it goes.

01:35:47.000 No.

01:35:48.000 Ancient civilizations did not have myths about humans or people coming from Mars.

01:35:53.000 While Mars has been central to mythology across many cultures, these myths focus on Mars as a deity or celestial object, not as humanity's origin point.

01:36:02.000 What is that one tribe?

01:36:05.000 Is it the Dogon people? 0.97

01:36:07.000 They have a weird origin story from another planet. 1.00

01:36:12.000 The Dogons? 0.86

01:36:13.000 Yeah. 0.90

01:36:13.000 What are they, little tribe? 0.90

01:36:15.000 Origin story.

01:36:17.000 I don't know. 0.91

01:36:19.000 The Dogons. 0.80

01:36:19.000 I don't know. 0.80

01:36:22.000 Wow.

01:36:24.000 I think it's somewhere in Africa. 1.00

01:36:27.000 Sounds like they're broke, whoever they are. 1.00

01:36:30.000 They have a complex creation myth centered around Amna, the supreme creator god who lived in the celestial regions as was the origin of all creation.

01:36:30.000 Mali.

01:36:40.000 In their cosmology, the stars resent Amma's bodily parts, with the constellation Orion called the seat of heaven or Amma's navel.

01:36:50.000 So, I think they have this origin story from.

01:36:53.000 Whoa, what is this?

01:36:54.000 Descended to Earth in an arc suspended from heaven by a copper chain?

01:36:59.000 Okay.

01:36:59.000 Whoa.

01:37:00.000 Look at this.

01:37:01.000 According to Dogon mythology, Ama created the Earth and then split himself in two, creating Ogo, representing disorder, and Nomo, representing order.

01:37:10.000 Ogo descended to Earth along the Milky Way, which the Dogon believe connects heaven and earth, and created havoc to restore balance.

01:37:20.000 Ama created Nomo and gave him eight assistants consisting of four pairs of twins. 0.94

01:37:26.000 These eight beings, also called the Nomo, became the ancestors of the Dogon people and descended to earth in an ark suspended from heaven by a copper chain. 0.74

01:37:37.000 Okay, what was that story?

01:37:39.000 I think we're accidentally reading a children's book, Joe. 0.67

01:37:42.000 The Ogo people.

01:37:43.000 What? 0.99

01:37:44.000 The Dogon people. 0.99

01:37:45.000 The Ogo and the Pogos.

01:37:46.000 Yeah, this is.

01:37:47.000 But what do you.

01:37:48.000 I think there's a lot of people that have weird origin stories that involve.

01:37:53.000 Extraterrestrial life.

01:37:55.000 Yeah, I mean, there is.

01:38:00.000 I mean, are you running that through human evolution?

01:38:05.000 Yes.

01:38:05.000 Because if you run it through human evolution, extraterrestrial life doesn't necessarily match up with like Homo erectus and, you know, Neanderthal man and things like that.

01:38:19.000 In what way?

01:38:20.000 Well, I get the sense that extraterrestrial life is far more advanced and technological going back to what you were talking about at the bottom of the ocean, whereas our.

01:38:32.000 Ancestors were primal.

01:38:35.000 Right.

01:38:36.000 So, how do the two collide?

01:38:38.000 I'm a bit confused.

01:38:39.000 Well, what if they created us?

01:38:42.000 They created us as primates and watched us evolve as an experiment?

01:38:47.000 Yeah.

01:38:47.000 What if you, like, let's imagine this.

01:38:49.000 We talked about, like, if we showed up and we found a planet and it was filled with, like, ancient primates, like, ancient hairy men that had just figured out stone tools.

01:38:58.000 Okay.

01:38:59.000 I'm with you.

01:39:00.000 I'm right there, guy.

01:39:00.000 I'm with you.

01:39:03.000 Do you think, let's not say American scientists, we would never do this, but do you think perhaps like Chinese or Russian scientists might do some things with them and try to make them more advanced?

01:39:16.000 In terms of biological experimentation, genetic engineering. 0.88

01:39:21.000 I don't know.

01:39:22.000 I will answer for you yes.

01:39:25.000 You think they will?

01:39:25.000 100%, for sure.

01:39:26.000 They're just cave people, they don't even have any civilization.

01:39:31.000 Let's just do whatever we want to them because we're far more advanced. 0.82

01:39:34.000 Do you know that there was a point in time where the Russians were experimenting with people and trying to make a human chimpanzee hybrid for war? 0.73

01:39:40.000 Is that right? 0.75

01:39:41.000 Yeah.

01:39:42.000 This is after World War II. 1.00

01:39:44.000 They were trying to make hybrids.

01:39:46.000 So many Russians died during World War II. 0.99

01:39:49.000 I mean, Russia lost a lot of fucking people in World War II. 0.99

01:39:53.000 And there was a program that, like, they do a lot of things where they just run it up the chain. 0.98

01:39:59.000 Like, what do you think?

01:39:59.000 What if we do this?

01:40:00.000 What if we do that?

01:40:01.000 You know, what if we make a nuclear bomb?

01:40:03.000 What if we make a plane that doesn't have any radar signal?

01:40:06.000 What if we make. 0.68

01:40:07.000 Instead of our soldiers dying, what if we make a hybrid just for war? 0.90

01:40:12.000 We know chimpanzees are incredibly strong and they're smart and they're very violent. 0.55

01:40:17.000 So, what if we made an incredibly strong, very violent species that's more intelligent than chimpanzees and we can control them and we'll use them as our soldiers?

01:40:27.000 But that seems like a lot of work for something that's hiding behind a modern weapon.

01:40:34.000 Because whether you have an insane chimpanzee behind a machine gun, Or a guy that was an accountant and got drafted, it seems like the weapon's doing the work, not the biological entity.

01:40:47.000 Yeah, but if the chimp's stronger and faster and they can get to places where the accountant can't and they can charge into him in the middle of the night because they could see at nighttime, there's a lot of things that you could do with chimps that were hybrids. 0.51

01:41:01.000 Yeah. 0.72

01:41:03.000 What was the extent of that program?

01:41:04.000 Let's find out.

01:41:05.000 I'm not picking it up right now, but the guy that did it was also then arrested.

01:41:09.000 I'm trying to figure out, well, like, Of course, he was arrested. 1.00

01:41:12.000 Because he's a fucking psychopath. 1.00

01:41:14.000 What's his name? 1.00

01:41:15.000 Dr. Moreau rang a bell.

01:41:16.000 But since he was funded by Soviet authorities to set up experiments, I'm like, well, were these private, you know, or did they're official?

01:41:25.000 I would imagine if I was the leader of Russia at the time, and this guy said, Mr. Prime Minister, I have a program I am currently considering in operation where I will be able to make soldiers that are increasingly strong, much faster, that retain human characteristics like the ability to communicate and to engage in warfare with weaponry.

01:41:54.000 But they would be much faster, much stronger, and more importantly, not people.

01:41:59.000 We won't mourn for them like our brothers and sisters. 0.58

01:42:02.000 We will breed them in laboratories. 0.99

01:42:05.000 We will make millions of them, arm them, and send them out against our enemies. 0.98

01:42:12.000 Are you coming on to me?

01:42:13.000 A little bit.

01:42:14.000 I got hard talking about this.

01:42:15.000 How?

01:42:17.000 He successfully did a bunch of stuff in the early 1900s.

01:42:20.000 Successfully.

01:42:20.000 What?

01:42:22.000 Not any human hybrids, but other animals.

01:42:24.000 So they say.

01:42:26.000 He was a pioneer in artificial insemination. 0.86

01:42:29.000 He conducted experiments that involved artificially inseminating horses to create superior offspring for Imperial Russia, and this work earned him recognition from the Bolsheviks.

01:42:38.000 Ivanov was not satisfied with merely enhancing a species, though.

01:42:42.000 Hybridization became his obsession, and he was soon crossing zebras with donkeys, cows with bison, and several different species of rodents with each other.

01:42:52.000 In 1910, he brashly declared he could see a human ape hybrid in the future.

01:42:59.000 Isn't this gene splicing, though?

01:43:00.000 Have you ever heard of a liger?

01:43:02.000 But ligers are just hybrids. 0.89

01:43:04.000 It's just they breed with each other.

01:43:06.000 A male tiger and a female lion are the opposite.

01:43:09.000 I don't forget which one it was.

01:43:10.000 But the problem is the reason why ligers are so big, I think it's either the male tiger or the male lion, whichever one it is, the male, has the gene that regulates size.

01:43:21.000 And when they have the hybrid, that gene doesn't transfer.

01:43:25.000 And so the ligers just keep growing.

01:43:26.000 They're huge. 0.99

01:43:27.000 They're fucking gigantic. 1.00

01:43:28.000 I might have fucked that up, but I don't think I did. 1.00

01:43:31.000 Ivanov imported chimps to Russia, inseminating unpaid Soviet women with their sperm. 0.99

01:43:36.000 Unpaid. 0.99

01:43:37.000 Though none conceived because humans and chimp chromosomes are incompatible. 1.00

01:43:42.000 Interesting. 1.00

01:43:43.000 Imagine you're a fucking Soviet lady and you're like, what is this job? 1.00

01:43:47.000 You lie down with your legs open and we stick something inside of you and you get a loaf of bread. 1.00

01:43:55.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

01:43:56.000 We give you the abominable snowman in your womb. 1.00

01:43:59.000 How much did they know about genes back then?

01:44:02.000 Genes and chromosomes.

01:44:04.000 So, what year was this?

01:44:06.000 1920.

01:44:08.000 When did they discover chromosomes?

01:44:08.000 20 ish.

01:44:10.000 As of yesterday, they might not have even known helium was on Earth.

01:44:14.000 Right, that's right.

01:44:15.000 That's right.

01:44:16.000 Yeah, they thought helium was only in the sun.

01:44:19.000 Wow.

01:44:20.000 When did they discover chromosomes?

01:44:23.000 Let's find that out.

01:44:24.000 Let's take a guess.

01:44:25.000 Harlan?

01:44:26.000 I'm going to say in the 40s.

01:44:34.000 I'm going to go a little later.

01:44:36.000 I'm going to say 50s.

01:44:37.000 Okay.

01:44:39.000 I'm going to say 42.

01:44:42.000 I am purely guessing, though.

01:44:45.000 Me, too.

01:44:45.000 I have no idea.

01:44:47.000 Yeah, what you mean by that is kind of very vague because they could have known about them, but to what detail and how many there were.

01:44:56.000 Well, let's just put that in perspective.

01:44:59.000 No, I did, but it's a vague answer.

01:45:01.000 In the 1800s, they sort of knew about it, but to what detail is until the 1900s.

01:45:06.000 Okay, chromosomes were first observed as distinct structures in the cell nuclei in the 1800s.

01:45:11.000 Well, that's pretty distinct.

01:45:12.000 They're talking about it in the cell structure.

01:45:14.000 So they must have been looking at them with microscopes.

01:45:18.000 Once good light microscopes became available, so that's the 1800s, their role as carriers of hereditary information was not clarified until the early 1900s through work linking chromosomes to Mendel's law of inheritance.

01:45:31.000 It's 100 years of guessing.

01:45:32.000 Imagine what we're guessing about now that we don't know about.

01:45:36.000 It could have been completely wrong for 35 years and then sort of closed for 10 and wrong again for 20, and then it's like, oh, nope, that's what it is.

01:45:44.000 Yeah.

01:45:45.000 Wild, right?

01:45:47.000 It's wild how long it took.

01:45:49.000 Well, see, this is.

01:45:50.000 In comparison to today.

01:45:51.000 This goes back to AI, Joe, giving access to the average person to be able to dig into this stuff because it might be the guy in aisle 12 at Home Depot who discovers some of these probing answers, you know?

01:46:07.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:46:07.000 And that's what I love about it.

01:46:08.000 It might be like, you know, hitting a bong sitting at home talking to Chad GPT and go, bro, tell me how to make a human monkey hybrid. 0.97

01:46:16.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:46:17.000 So this guy, so it was.

01:46:20.000 Pull that back up.

01:46:21.000 I was reading about him.

01:46:21.000 This started to say that American backers started sending him some money too.

01:46:24.000 Of course. 1.00

01:46:25.000 I was trying to figure out how to get those rote fucking crazy chimp people too. 1.00

01:46:29.000 Call me crazy, but I get the feeling you would like to see one of those. 1.00

01:46:32.000 100%.

01:46:33.000 Because physically, it would have to look incredible.

01:46:35.000 It would be insane.

01:46:36.000 Imagine if you get a Viking, like a Brock Lesnar jean, and you splice it with a chimpanzee jean.

01:46:42.000 You have a giant, like Thor from Game of Thrones, the mountain from Game of Thrones.

01:46:46.000 Imagine that guy splicing that guy's jeans with a chimpanzee's jeans. 0.73

01:46:50.000 Well, you keep going to chimp, but what about a silverback gorilla, which is even.

01:46:55.000 They're not as violent.

01:46:55.000 Yeah, they're very calm.

01:46:57.000 They eat vegetables.

01:46:58.000 They're vegans.

01:47:00.000 Whereas chimps are pack hunters.

01:47:02.000 They eat other monkeys.

01:47:04.000 Yeah, they're way more violent.

01:47:06.000 They're way more like us. 0.92

01:47:07.000 We're way closer to chimps than we are to gorillas.

01:47:11.000 Yeah, we are.

01:47:12.000 Yeah.

01:47:13.000 We're closer in our behavior.

01:47:14.000 They engage in war.

01:47:16.000 They have tribal war.

01:47:17.000 They go after tribes.

01:47:17.000 They break off and start new civilizations.

01:47:20.000 But if you're splicing two entities together, you've got the human brain that's, you know, we're sort of wired to be violent. 0.96

01:47:30.000 But you just take the physicality of the silverback and marry them together. 0.94

01:47:34.000 They're just as wired to be violent as we are, buddy. 1.00

01:47:37.000 What? 1.00

01:47:38.000 No, I'm saying the silverback. 1.00

01:47:38.000 Chimps? 1.00

01:47:40.000 Then you have a bigger physical body with our minds. 1.00

01:47:43.000 But maybe they'll just chill like the gorillas do. 1.00

01:47:45.000 They just go to Miami. 0.96

01:47:47.000 New delivery of chimps to a nursery in 1930, but in the light of the questionable ethics and zero progress, Ivanov was arrested and exiled to Kazakhstan, where he died two years later.

01:47:57.000 Some of the apes and monkeys that outlived him were launched into space with the Sputnik missions.

01:48:03.000 You imagine you're an ape. 1.00

01:48:07.000 First, they make you fuck some lady, and then they shoot you off into space. 1.00

01:48:11.000 Well, you were just eating bananas, having a good time in the jungle, being a regular chimpanzee. 1.00

01:48:16.000 And these motherfuckers make you fuck some janitor and then shoot you into space. 1.00

01:48:22.000 A janitor? 1.00

01:48:23.000 Successfully implanted an ovary in a few of them.

01:48:26.000 Oh, God. 1.00

01:48:27.000 Fucking psychos. 1.00

01:48:27.000 Wow. 1.00

01:48:29.000 Jesus Christ.

01:48:31.000 Yeah, they've done over the course of history, the Germans, the Japanese, the Chinese, in times of war. 0.54

01:48:37.000 They did the most horrific experimentation. 0.59

01:48:40.000 They did everything you could do. 0.98

01:48:42.000 They'd see how long it would take for a human body to die if you boiled it and skin people. 0.72

01:48:48.000 And the things that have been done, the aberrations that have happened are crazy. 0.93

01:48:53.000 But this is interesting.

01:48:54.000 This is almost the basis for a movie, I think.

01:48:57.000 Well, it could absolutely happen today.

01:49:00.000 This is where it gets weird.

01:49:01.000 Because now with CRISPR and with gene editing, how many years are we away from them being at the Actually, able to do that.

01:49:09.000 You're actually able to take whatever genes you have in a person, whatever genes you have in a chimpanzee, pick which ones, which things you want to do, and make a life form.

01:49:20.000 I like it.

01:49:21.000 You know, they have the dire wolves now, right?

01:49:22.000 Yeah, the dire wolves.

01:49:24.000 I saw them.

01:49:24.000 I went to visit them.

01:49:25.000 You did.

01:49:26.000 Are they pure?

01:49:27.000 Are they 100% pure?

01:49:29.000 Are they a version of a modern day wolf mixed with a dire wolf?

01:49:33.000 It's a really good question.

01:49:34.000 So, that is the question that people always use to dismiss, or that is the statement that people use to dismiss what they've done.

01:49:43.000 Right.

01:49:43.000 Is actually creating dire wolves.

01:49:45.000 But when I talked to the woman who's the head geneticist, the way she said is these distinctions, like what we call something a dire wolf, or we call something a pug, whatever these distinctions are, these are our creations.

01:49:57.000 And that the genetics are the same.

01:50:00.000 Like this animal looks like a dire wolf because it is a dire wolf.

01:50:05.000 And some of those genes are in wolves, some of those genes are in the biological tissue that they got from like thousand year olds.

01:50:05.000 Okay.

01:50:14.000 Like how old was the tissue that they got from a dire wolf?

01:50:18.000 That they used for Colossal.

01:50:20.000 I feel like some of it was like 10,000 years old, like something crazy.

01:50:23.000 Where did they find that tissue?

01:50:25.000 What country?

01:50:26.000 They find it in America.

01:50:27.000 You get it in, like, when they find fossils, they find, like, a dead animal.

01:50:32.000 They find something that they can get out of it where they can get some DNA.

01:50:35.000 Yeah.

01:50:35.000 And they've managed to get the actual DNA of a dire wolf.

01:50:39.000 So 13,000 years old, a tooth from Sheridan Pit, Ohio, and a 72,000 year old skull from American Falls, Idaho.

01:50:48.000 Wow.

01:50:49.000 So they get the genes, they make a map.

01:50:52.000 I'm just, I'm butchering this.

01:50:53.000 I'm sorry if you're a scientist.

01:50:54.000 I'm sorry to all the people at Colossal.

01:50:56.000 Yeah.

01:50:56.000 You make a map of what it means to be a direwolf based on this stuff because you have these samples.

01:51:01.000 And then you choose those genes. 0.99

01:51:03.000 You add those genes to a gray wolf and then you turn it into a fucking direwolf. 0.99

01:51:08.000 And they're all white and they have a mane like a lion, which they didn't know they were going to have. 0.99

01:51:12.000 Like not as big as a lion, but it's a pronounced mane.

01:51:16.000 Huh.

01:51:16.000 And they look different, man.

01:51:17.000 They're weird.

01:51:18.000 Are they bigger in size because they were semi prehistoric?

01:51:21.000 They're bigger.

01:51:22.000 They're just a bit bigger than a timber wolf?

01:51:24.000 Yes.

01:51:25.000 Wow.

01:51:26.000 Yeah, they're like a 200 pound wolf.

01:51:28.000 And they're built different.

01:51:29.000 They're built different.

01:51:30.000 They're more stocky and they look different.

01:51:32.000 What's their jaw structure like?

01:51:34.000 Is it different?

01:51:35.000 Bigger, stronger.

01:51:36.000 It's a bigger, more ferocious animal that lived at a time where it was.

01:51:41.000 What does the term dire mean?

01:51:43.000 Do we know?

01:51:43.000 Dire wolf.

01:51:44.000 That's a good question.

01:51:45.000 What is dire?

01:51:46.000 Let's find out why they call them dire wolves.

01:51:47.000 Yeah.

01:51:48.000 I have no idea.

01:51:48.000 It just sounds dope.

01:51:50.000 I wonder if they ever get sick if they become diarrhea wolves.

01:51:54.000 Is that where you go with that?

01:51:55.000 No, I really do want to know.

01:51:57.000 That just came to me.

01:51:58.000 That just came to me.

01:52:01.000 But I do want to know where dire comes from, what it means.

01:52:03.000 Fearful or terrible.

01:52:05.000 The Latin words, dirus, meaning fearful or terrible, or awe inspiringly dreadful. 0.67

01:52:11.000 Bro, back then, when those things were around and people were around at the same time, you imagine how fucking rough it would be.

01:52:17.000 You're in the woods and you're camping out with your buddy and you see a pack of dire wolves that recognize you and you know it's over.

01:52:23.000 Well, the thing with wolves, though, Joe, and you probably know this wolves traditionally don't hunt down humans.

01:52:28.000 That's not true.

01:52:29.000 Huh?

01:52:29.000 That's not true at all.

01:52:30.000 I don't know.

01:52:31.000 Is there any record of a human being killed by a wolf?

01:52:34.000 100%.

01:52:35.000 There's a record in modern times.

01:52:37.000 Oh, that's not true.

01:52:39.000 That's the reason why they eradicated him from the West Coast.

01:52:41.000 I thought that was because they were nabbing the cattle.

01:52:44.000 No, they were killing people, too.

01:52:46.000 That's what the Big Bad Wolf and the Little Red Riding Hood is all about. 0.98

01:52:48.000 They would kill your kids.

01:52:50.000 Those stories were about avoiding wolves because wolves were dangerous.

01:52:53.000 They're deadly.

01:52:55.000 Do you know that World War I, the Russians and the Germans had a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves in Siberia?

01:53:02.000 That they decided to have a ceasefire.

01:53:02.000 Really?

01:53:04.000 Kill the wolves and then go back to killing each other. 0.99

01:53:07.000 Because my experience is wolves are very trepidatious of humans. 0.99

01:53:10.000 They fear them and avoid them. 1.00

01:53:12.000 Kill them, kill them, kill them. 1.00

01:53:13.000 Because we killed most of them. 1.00

01:53:14.000 But that wouldn't change their hunting instinct now if there were still packs roaming wild and free. 0.99

01:53:20.000 If you don't kill the instinct out of them, because then you'd kill their instinct to kill an elk or.

01:53:26.000 If you've seen wolves, you've seen wolves in Canada. 0.56

01:53:29.000 Yeah.

01:53:30.000 They hunt them in Canada.

01:53:31.000 Yeah.

01:53:32.000 Yeah.

01:53:33.000 That's why they're trepidatious.

01:53:34.000 That's why they're nervous about people.

01:53:36.000 Can we look up how many humans have been killed by wolves?

01:53:39.000 Very rare.

01:53:40.000 Mostly happened in Europe and Asia.

01:53:42.000 Yeah, see, it's not common. 0.96

01:53:43.000 It's because we killed them all, Harlan. 0.57

01:53:45.000 They're not around anymore. 0.99

01:53:47.000 That's the whole point. 1.00

01:53:48.000 The reason why they got killed off was because they were a fucking problem. 0.99

01:53:51.000 It's not because, you know, people are evil and it was a terrible idea. 0.99

01:53:55.000 It's because they wanted to live. 0.99

01:53:57.000 And they knew that the wolves were fucking killing everybody. 0.99

01:54:00.000 I think the problem, once they were killing their domestic cattle. 1.00

01:54:03.000 100%. 0.99

01:54:04.000 But not the people so much.

01:54:05.000 No, people too.

01:54:07.000 Yeah, they don't have rules, man.

01:54:07.000 Really?

01:54:09.000 I know predators.

01:54:10.000 They're also, think of it, every living species.

01:54:14.000 Why is it.

01:54:15.000 I can go to a park and a blue jay and a squirrel and a deer and a bunny can be just fine, completely different species.

01:54:23.000 But then a little boy walks up a human and they all just go, shh!

01:54:28.000 There's this driven instinct in all animals to fear us, which breaks my heart because most of us are loving and want to coddle and connect with animals.

01:54:37.000 But even insects, dragonflies, hummingbirds, nothing wants to be near us.

01:54:42.000 And so, wolves also, all animals are trepidatious of humans.

01:54:48.000 It's sad, but it's true.

01:54:50.000 And if that's part of the bigger program we've been talking about, what does it say about us?

01:54:55.000 First of all, animals are not trepidatious of humans.

01:54:58.000 Have you ever walked up to a wild animal?

01:55:00.000 I've walked up to a lot of wild animals. 0.99

01:55:03.000 Right now, I know that you're being silly. 0.98

01:55:04.000 I'm not being silly. 0.93

01:55:05.000 Okay, so realistically, all those animals you said blue jay, deer, those are all animals that eat plants.

01:55:11.000 Okay, if a dog showed up, they would run.

01:55:13.000 Any animal that's a predator is going to scare them.

01:55:17.000 Whether it's a human, we have eyes in front of our face.

01:55:20.000 The reason why you have eyes in front of your face like that is because you're looking to go after something.

01:55:24.000 When you have eyes on the side of your face, you're looking for something to go after you.

01:55:27.000 So, all those animals like deer and all these little cute little animals, they're all prey.

01:55:33.000 And they're all like super sketchy with anything that has eyes in front of its face that's looking at them. 1.00

01:55:37.000 Because we are a fucking predator. 0.99

01:55:39.000 But it would be the same if it was a coyote there. 1.00

01:55:41.000 It would be the same if a dog was there.

01:55:43.000 If a cat or a big cat or a lion was there, if they saw it, they would all freak out because they're prey.

01:55:50.000 Yeah.

01:55:50.000 Now, wolves have killed people.

01:55:54.000 Fact.

01:55:54.000 100% all throughout time.

01:55:56.000 I'm just saying, they catch you alone.

01:55:59.000 They catch you in the woods. 0.99

01:56:00.000 And if it's you and five of them, they will kill you.

01:56:07.000 We're not on their dietary list, though. 0.88

01:56:10.000 Look at the killer whales.

01:56:12.000 Have you ever been a human killed by a killer whale?

01:56:12.000 Because you're not in the animal.

01:56:15.000 Only at SeaWorld.

01:56:16.000 Right.

01:56:16.000 Because they, well, that's different.

01:56:18.000 Why?

01:56:19.000 That's a living mammal. 0.95

01:56:20.000 Yeah, but.

01:56:20.000 And there's millions of people in the ocean every day, but there's no record of an orca killing a human.

01:56:26.000 No, of course.

01:56:26.000 Because they're trepidatious of us.

01:56:28.000 No, they're super intelligent.

01:56:29.000 And wolves and coyotes.

01:56:30.000 They're not trepidatious of us.

01:56:32.000 They help us, they communicate with us, they play with you.

01:56:34.000 I know, but I'm just saying it's not common for wolves and apex predators to go after humans.

01:56:41.000 It happens, but it's not common.

01:56:43.000 And wolves, they're very skittish animals.

01:56:48.000 Okay, they're skittish if they're around people and they think the people might have a gun.

01:56:53.000 If you're in the woods, wolves are not skittish of you.

01:56:56.000 They're thinking about what they're going to do to you and whether or not they're going to eat you. 0.98

01:57:00.000 If you have a rifle and you're in the woods and they hear the boom go off, they're going to get the fuck away from you. 0.99

01:57:04.000 They don't want to be hunting them.

01:57:05.000 I'm just saying there's an instinctual fear of humans for whatever reason.

01:57:11.000 Dude, it's not true.

01:57:12.000 Most critters avoid us, even fish, if you want to.

01:57:15.000 Critters avoid all predators, all of them.

01:57:19.000 Yeah, but look at the plains of Africa.

01:57:21.000 You'll see a wildebeest and a zebra. 0.99

01:57:23.000 Do you know what the fuck is happening if you walked out in the wild of Africa? 1.00

01:57:28.000 You're done. 1.00

01:57:29.000 Yeah.

01:57:30.000 Yeah, because you have lions and leopards.

01:57:32.000 You're pretty there.

01:57:33.000 Right.

01:57:34.000 All those animals are freaking out too until one gets taken out.

01:57:38.000 This is the Joseph Campbell story of the hero.

01:57:41.000 Like, one gets taken out, and the other one's like, wow, he did it for us.

01:57:44.000 Because when the lions are eating that one antelope, they're going to leave you alone.

01:57:48.000 You can relax for a little bit.

01:57:49.000 Yeah.

01:57:50.000 That's what it is.

01:57:51.000 I'm just saying.

01:57:52.000 They're never calm around lions, they run.

01:57:54.000 That's why they run.

01:57:56.000 But I'm just saying wolves are probably more inclined to step around us than attack us.

01:57:56.000 Right.

01:58:03.000 They are more inclined to do whatever they need to do to survive.

01:58:07.000 They're opportunists.

01:58:07.000 They will.

01:58:09.000 And if it's attacking your sheep, then they'll attack your sheep.

01:58:11.000 Right. 0.69

01:58:12.000 If it's killing your dog, they'll kill your dog.

01:58:14.000 If it's killing you, if you're 20 miles into the backcountry and you're camping alone and you don't have a weapon and a pack of wolves shows up and they haven't had anything to eat for a few days, they'll take you down.

01:58:25.000 They'll take you down.

01:58:26.000 But I'm just saying, I'm just trying to instill into you with all this programming talk, there's something programmed into all the other species on this planet. 1.00

01:58:36.000 They go, whoa, there's a fucking human. 1.00

01:58:40.000 You're wrong. 1.00

01:58:40.000 And they step around us a lot. 1.00

01:58:42.000 Not that they won't kill us, but.

01:58:42.000 No, you're wrong.

01:58:44.000 It's anything that's coming near them, they get away from.

01:58:48.000 Right.

01:58:49.000 The reason why they're scared of people is because they have experience with people.

01:58:53.000 That's what it is.

01:58:54.000 Yes, wolves do.

01:58:55.000 Wolves in Canada that get shot at are afraid of people.

01:58:58.000 They know that people have the guns, the guns make the boom, they're smart.

01:59:02.000 A bunch of them die.

01:59:03.000 They see one of them die, they learn that.

01:59:05.000 They see the gun, they see the stick, they run away from the guys.

01:59:07.000 So they stay away from people because people might kill their family members, their pack members.

01:59:13.000 It happens.

01:59:14.000 I think we're spreading bears on this one.

01:59:16.000 No, listen, there's a difference between the way bears react in, say, Alaska than bears react in Montana.

01:59:22.000 So in Montana, you can't hunt grizzly bears.

01:59:24.000 So grizzly bears are not afraid of people because generation after generation after generation have not been hunted.

01:59:30.000 Right.

01:59:30.000 When bears see you in Alaska, that's generation after generation that have been hunted, and they react very differently.

01:59:36.000 They're like, get the fuck away from the people. 0.98

01:59:38.000 Right, but. 0.96

01:59:39.000 Unless they don't know you have a gun and sometimes you have to scare them off.

01:59:42.000 But if they're used to being around people with guns, They associate people with danger.

01:59:46.000 Yeah, that's kind of Pavlovian, though.

01:59:48.000 That's like when they're not, when they're not, like in Montana.

01:59:51.000 But in the wild, bears are quite skittish.

01:59:56.000 I've been around them.

01:59:57.000 I have too, man.

01:59:58.000 It depends on the bear.

01:59:59.000 It depends on whether it's a mother with her cubs.

02:00:01.000 They're not skittish at all.

02:00:02.000 They're not skittish. 1.00

02:00:03.000 They'll fuck you up. 1.00

02:00:04.000 They're protective. 1.00

02:00:05.000 They're no longer hunting.

02:00:06.000 But I'm just saying that there's an element to, sadly, our human existence that scares a lot of critters.

02:00:16.000 Most animals can.

02:00:18.000 Exist together in the same area.

02:00:22.000 And yeah, when an apex predator approaches, the zebras will run.

02:00:26.000 But if you look at the hoofed animals and the hippos and everything kind of coexists.

02:00:31.000 But when a human walks in, you know, we can't walk up to critters and just pet them.

02:00:37.000 You can in the Galapagos.

02:00:39.000 Okay.

02:00:41.000 Are we.

02:00:42.000 No.

02:00:42.000 Are we having a fight?

02:00:43.000 No, but a lion can't walk up to a shirt and pet me.

02:00:47.000 I wrap my legs around you so fast.

02:00:49.000 It's not uniquely humans, man.

02:00:52.000 It's all animals are worried about something that wants to eat them because that's a real part of their existence.

02:00:57.000 It's all animals. 0.99

02:00:58.000 If you let your dog loose and you let it around wild animals, they fucking run like crazy, man. 0.99

02:01:04.000 They run way more than they do with a person. 0.99

02:01:06.000 Let me rephrase it.

02:01:08.000 If a wild animal comes up on a deer, a predator prey scenario, instinctually they know a predator goes into stalking mode, the deer's gone.

02:01:20.000 But if a human, me or you, go, oh, look at the deer, and we try to walk towards it with nothing but love and affection, and we just want to pet it, and it's gone.

02:01:33.000 And that's what I'm saying. 0.99

02:01:35.000 You're not saying shit. 1.00

02:01:36.000 Because a dog, the same thing would happen. 1.00

02:01:38.000 You're not making any sense.

02:01:39.000 Yes.

02:01:40.000 Of course, the deer doesn't want you to pet him. 1.00

02:01:41.000 It doesn't fucking know you, man. 1.00

02:01:43.000 What are you, nuts? 1.00

02:01:44.000 Right, but they just flee. 0.94

02:01:47.000 They don't flee like they do with dogs.

02:01:49.000 A squirrel? 0.99

02:01:50.000 I have deer in my neighborhood, and when they see me, they don't give a fuck. 0.99

02:01:53.000 They don't care about your car. 0.99

02:01:55.000 You're driving in a car.

02:01:56.000 You could stop the car and roll the window down and go, hello, Mr. Deer, and they just fucking stare at you. 1.00

02:02:00.000 All animals are like that. 1.00

02:02:01.000 They saw a dog, they would fucking run. 1.00

02:02:05.000 They would run like crazy. 1.00

02:02:06.000 Even my golden retriever, my sweet golden retriever Marshall.

02:02:09.000 Yeah.

02:02:09.000 They run like crazy from him.

02:02:11.000 They blow.

02:02:13.000 They make those crazy noises.

02:02:21.000 Pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh But it's just sad that.

02:02:42.000 It's not.

02:02:42.000 It's way better than being at the bottom of the food chain.

02:02:45.000 Way better than us, like, fucking wondering through the woods if your kids are going to get eaten by a fucking wolf because some greeny dipshit decided to import them back into the wild. 1.00

02:02:53.000 We need to rewild the wild. 1.00

02:02:54.000 Wait, you don't like that wolves are back in the wild? 1.00

02:02:58.000 You know, they just dropped them off in Aspen, these dumb motherfuckers. 1.00

02:03:01.000 They dropped them off on a cattle ranch, and all they're doing is eating cows. 1.00

02:03:01.000 You don't like that? 1.00

02:03:05.000 So now they have to have cowboys 24 7 riding horses because the governor's husband thought it would be a cute idea to drop off wolves in Colorado.

02:03:13.000 And they reintroduced them to an area that has agriculture.

02:03:16.000 They reintroduced them to ranching areas.

02:03:18.000 Wow.

02:03:19.000 You don't know. 1.00

02:03:19.000 Five fucking wolves. 1.00

02:03:20.000 They've killed who knows how many cows. 1.00

02:03:23.000 You don't know.

02:03:23.000 The government has to reimburse them every time a cow dies.

02:03:26.000 They keep killing cows.

02:03:27.000 They're not allowed to kill the wolves.

02:03:28.000 The wolves are around them 24 hours a day, just circling.

02:03:32.000 So they have cowboys on horses all throughout the night.

02:03:36.000 They've got fires.

02:03:37.000 They have to keep people employed.

02:03:39.000 But outside of the cattle poaching critters, are you for reintroducing and repopulating areas of the.

02:03:46.000 No, first of all.

02:03:48.000 Wolves were making their way into Colorado naturally.

02:03:50.000 They're already in the San Juan Mountains.

02:03:52.000 They're moving in from Wyoming, where they live naturally.

02:03:56.000 And when they reintroduced them into Montana, those have spread out all over the place. 1.00

02:04:00.000 There's plenty of fucking wolves, man. 0.99

02:04:02.000 There's a lot of wolves in Montana. 1.00

02:04:03.000 There's a lot of cows, too.

02:04:05.000 You don't like wolves.

02:04:07.000 I don't think you want wolves.

02:04:09.000 I don't think you understand what you're saying.

02:04:11.000 You're talking about a pack predator, it's very different than any other predator.

02:04:15.000 They work together in coordination, and they're smart.

02:04:18.000 And if once they, it's not like a mountain lion.

02:04:20.000 It's not like a thing that acts alone.

02:04:22.000 Once they figure out that the cows are in these wooden pens and they could just hop the pen, kill a cow, and that's it, they're going to do it forever.

02:04:30.000 Right.

02:04:31.000 But take out the poaching wolves, but the ones that are reintroduced and assimilate in raw nature.

02:04:38.000 I think those are crucial and important to that ecosystem.

02:04:41.000 It is crucial to have balance.

02:04:44.000 And there's some aspects of having the wolves back in Montana that's actually better for the elk.

02:04:48.000 Population.

02:04:49.000 It is.

02:04:50.000 The elk population was very overpopulated at one point in time.

02:04:54.000 They had seasons where they were allowing people to shoot them in the snow in the winter.

02:04:59.000 So, like, there were so many of them.

02:05:01.000 When they're in the snow, like deep snow, they can't run.

02:05:03.000 So you basically.

02:05:04.000 The wolves?

02:05:05.000 No.

02:05:06.000 The elk?

02:05:07.000 Because before they reintroduced the wolves, they had so many elk.

02:05:07.000 Elk.

02:05:11.000 These elves were running out of resources.

02:05:11.000 Yeah.

02:05:13.000 And they realized, like, they're so overpopulated.

02:05:13.000 Yeah.

02:05:16.000 We're going to allow you to shoot them in ways that's not even remotely sporting. 0.94

02:05:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:05:20.000 They're stuck in snow. 0.99

02:05:22.000 It's called culling.

02:05:23.000 Yeah.

02:05:23.000 Just taking as many out of the population as you can.

02:05:25.000 Yeah.

02:05:26.000 And look, for the people that live there, it's amazing.

02:05:29.000 You're eating elk 12 months out of the year.

02:05:31.000 You got a freezer.

02:05:33.000 Oh, no. 1.00

02:05:33.000 It's fucking delicious. 1.00

02:05:33.000 How dare you? 1.00

02:05:34.000 No.

02:05:34.000 I mean, if you eat it all the time.

02:05:37.000 But don't forget, the wolves also preserve the whole ecosystem because the overpopulation of elks were eating so much of the flora that the sides of riverbanks were eroded.

02:05:51.000 You're quoting a documentary called How Wolves Changed Rivers.

02:05:55.000 Right.

02:05:55.000 Yeah, widely disputed.

02:05:57.000 So a lot of the stuff they're saying is not accurate in that documentary.

02:06:03.000 Balance is important, but a lot of things are very overstated in that, and it turned out to not be true.

02:06:08.000 No, a lot of the claims are not true.

02:06:10.000 Because, interesting, you can have a pro, and the pro is it keeps the population in check and it puts a natural balance to the area.

02:06:22.000 That's the pro.

02:06:23.000 This whole changing rivers thing, some of it's accurate, some of it's not.

02:06:29.000 Apparently, that documentary was made by a guy who's into rewilding, and he also wants to rewild Europe.

02:06:36.000 So, like these, it's very romantic, this idea.

02:06:39.000 Okay.

02:06:39.000 But there is positive to having a balanced ecosystem.

02:06:44.000 There is not positive when wolves get overpopulated. 0.97

02:06:47.000 When wolves get overpopulated, that's what you get when you had Russia and Germany having a fucking ceasefire in World War I. Because they were losing so many soldiers to wolves, they all united together to kill the wolves. 0.98

02:07:00.000 That's a true story.

02:07:01.000 But do you ever live in a world where you go, the wolves are Part of the natural world, the same way the bison were on the Great Plains before they eradicated them.

02:07:12.000 No.

02:07:12.000 You don't have kids.

02:07:13.000 Okay.

02:07:13.000 Well, Billy.

02:07:14.000 Imagine if you had kids and you were walking with your kids and you saw three wolves following you.

02:07:19.000 Yeah.

02:07:20.000 And you didn't have a gun.

02:07:21.000 How would you feel about those wolves when you thought, oh my God, we might get taken out by wolves?

02:07:26.000 And I just thought they were these cute, fuzzy things that were a part of nature.

02:07:30.000 Oh, I don't think of them as that.

02:07:32.000 I don't think of them as that.

02:07:32.000 They're amazing.

02:07:33.000 We need that.

02:07:34.000 I worked in nature.

02:07:35.000 I've been around wolves.

02:07:36.000 I know them.

02:07:37.000 I am on team people.

02:07:40.000 You are?

02:07:41.000 100%.

02:07:42.000 100%. 0.77

02:07:43.000 Teen people.

02:07:43.000 I love all animals.

02:07:45.000 I love them all.

02:07:46.000 Yeah.

02:07:46.000 But I love people way more.

02:07:49.000 If it was between a person that I fucking hate, that it feels a real piece of shit, and I knew that they're going to get taken out by a wolf, but I had a rifle, I'd kill the fucking wolf 100% of the time because I'm on team people. 0.99

02:08:01.000 But this whole idea like, the animals are scared of us. 1.00

02:08:04.000 Good. 1.00

02:08:05.000 Be scared, bitch. 1.00

02:08:06.000 It doesn't mean you should do anything bad to those animals, but good. 1.00

02:08:09.000 Good.

02:08:10.000 Be scared.

02:08:10.000 But Joe, isn't it?

02:08:11.000 Don't try to eat my kids.

02:08:13.000 Isn't it? 0.98

02:08:13.000 Team people that's eradicating all the animals as we encroach deeper and deeper into the Amazon jungle, the African plains. 0.98

02:08:22.000 We're losing. 1.00

02:08:23.000 Look at the American bison.

02:08:25.000 There used to be millions of them herding across the prairies, and now there's isolated pockets.

02:08:31.000 Right, but do you know what?

02:08:33.000 Look at the elephant herds.

02:08:34.000 Look at the silverback gorilla.

02:08:36.000 Look at there's so many things that are losing to team people that we might not have Siberian tigers in 30 years. 0.96

02:08:43.000 I'm not saying you should go and kill these.

02:08:47.000 Endangered animals.

02:08:49.000 I don't say they did.

02:08:49.000 I think they approached.

02:08:52.000 We're not always.

02:08:53.000 That's not true.

02:08:54.000 First of all, the bison thing was not because of encroaching.

02:08:56.000 The bison thing was because of sport hunting, where these people were like, they were doing it, not even sport hunting, market hunting.

02:09:02.000 They were doing it for tongues.

02:09:04.000 Do you know that's what they were getting?

02:09:05.000 They were chopping out their tongues. 1.00

02:09:06.000 All that delicious bison meat, they let it rot. 1.00

02:09:09.000 And then they were doing it for furs, and then they were doing it for bones. 0.94

02:09:13.000 Like, what this is, is like, people were fucking insane, and rifles were fairly new, and long range rifles are fairly new in human history. 0.96

02:09:21.000 And then all of a sudden, you got people on trains, and you've got just insane. 0.96

02:09:26.000 Now, here's where it gets really weird.

02:09:29.000 What's Dan's, Dan Flores?

02:09:31.000 There's a guy named Dan Flores who wrote a book on bison, and he has a theory.

02:09:36.000 It's a really good one.

02:09:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:09:38.000 The reason why there were so many bison on the plains was because of all the Native Americans that got wiped out by disease. 0.99

02:09:46.000 And it totally coincides with it.

02:09:48.000 Because the original explorers that came to America in like the 1400s did not describe these enormous populations of bison.

02:09:57.000 Right.

02:09:57.000 We would see millions of them on a prairie.

02:10:00.000 He thinks that that came about because.

02:10:03.000 Literally, when the Europeans visited Native Americans, 90% of the Native Americans died because of disease. 0.98

02:10:11.000 Right. 0.99

02:10:12.000 90%?

02:10:12.000 Yeah.

02:10:13.000 I mean, a true apocalypse.

02:10:15.000 Imagine nine out of 10 Native Americans dead because of disease.

02:10:15.000 Yeah.

02:10:20.000 Well, that means no one's hunting the bison.

02:10:23.000 Right, but they.

02:10:25.000 So that was a primary food source for a lot of the Native Americans.

02:10:28.000 And it wouldn't take many generations for them, if that was the thing that was keeping them in population, if they have a balanced ecosystem.

02:10:35.000 And the population was literally being controlled by these effective North American hunters.

02:10:40.000 And all of a sudden they're gone.

02:10:40.000 Yeah.

02:10:43.000 The population just booms.

02:10:44.000 And that's what he was saying.

02:10:46.000 And then along comes the people with the rifles.

02:10:49.000 And then the people with the rifles, they're finding these sitting ducks just sitting out there. 0.94

02:10:52.000 And they say, there's so many of them, we could just shoot as many as we want.

02:10:55.000 We never have to worry about it. 0.99

02:10:57.000 And they're shooting them for tongues.

02:10:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:11:00.000 Tongues. 0.99

02:11:01.000 Have you ever heard of Buffalo Head Smashed in? 0.97

02:11:04.000 Buffalo Head Smashed in? 0.88

02:11:06.000 Yeah.

02:11:06.000 What's that?

02:11:07.000 It's a town in Alberta.

02:11:11.000 That's the real name of the town?

02:11:12.000 It's the real name of the town where on the plains there, there was an optical illusion where it looked like the hills just kept going.

02:11:23.000 But there was a cliff, and the Indians would chase the bison along the plains, and they didn't know it.

02:11:30.000 And at the end, they'd all run over the thing, and the Indians would be waiting at the bottom and kill the bison.

02:11:36.000 But they named the place. 0.86

02:11:38.000 Buffalo head smashed in.

02:11:40.000 Oh, wow.

02:11:41.000 Look at this.

02:11:42.000 Isn't that wild?

02:11:43.000 Wow.

02:11:44.000 So the bison thought they're running on a flat plane and they couldn't see the change in the perspective, so they'd run right over the edge.

02:11:52.000 They did that a bunch of places in North America.

02:11:55.000 In North America, they did, there's one of them where they killed so many bison that the rotting of them caused them to burst into flames.

02:12:04.000 Yeah.

02:12:05.000 And so, you know about that one?

02:12:07.000 Yeah, that's like with whales when they blow up.

02:12:09.000 They explode.

02:12:09.000 Yeah.

02:12:10.000 So the whole side of the hill is like black with coal.

02:12:14.000 Oh, yeah.

02:12:14.000 Because they've popped.

02:12:17.000 Imagine the fucking smell of something where it gets so bad they burst into flames. 1.00

02:12:22.000 Bro. 1.00

02:12:23.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:12:24.000 Instant Texas barbecue. 1.00

02:12:27.000 So the Native Americans, when they were really good at hunting, doing stuff like that, I mean, they're feasting, they're eating the best meat, and they're keeping the population in check. 1.00

02:12:36.000 Now, when they all died of disease, that population stopped being in check. 0.97

02:12:40.000 And this is Dan Flores.

02:12:41.000 I think it's called, see if you can find the name of it, Jamie.

02:12:43.000 I think it's called Bison Diplomacy, Bison Ecology.

02:12:47.000 I think that's what it's called.

02:12:48.000 Nature also provides disease when there is no humans around.

02:12:53.000 Okay. 0.85

02:12:54.000 Like long before the Indians started hunting buffalo, there were buffalo.

02:12:59.000 Yeah.

02:12:59.000 Bison Ecology and Bison Diplomacy.

02:13:02.000 It's a very interesting paper.

02:13:04.000 He was a professor of history at Texas Tech.

02:13:07.000 Very, very good book.

02:13:09.000 And he's got another great book on coyotes, Coyote America's Fantasy.

02:13:13.000 Oh, coyotes.

02:13:14.000 Are you a fan of Team Human if Team Human keeps pushing animals out of business?

02:13:21.000 Where?

02:13:22.000 Where we push, no, I don't think we should.

02:13:25.000 We're at what, 7 billion now, humans?

02:13:27.000 I think it's more.

02:13:28.000 So, at what point are you still a fan of team human when more and more of team animal is being eradicated?

02:13:37.000 And I'm not trying to say we should have to change that.

02:13:40.000 What animals are being eradicated right now?

02:13:42.000 Well, I just explained how the herds of elephants have shrunk down to this.

02:13:46.000 Tigers are down to a few thousand.

02:13:49.000 And a lot of that is. 1.00

02:13:50.000 Silverback gorillas are down to like a few hundred. 1.00

02:13:53.000 Okay.

02:13:54.000 A lot of that is not encroaching, it's illegal poaching.

02:13:57.000 It's that, but it's also encroaching.

02:13:57.000 That's a lot of that.

02:13:59.000 We're using up their land.

02:14:01.000 Some of it.

02:14:02.000 But also, it's like, what do you want those people to do?

02:14:04.000 Like, people in India, where they have elephants just invade their farms and eat all their food.

02:14:09.000 But that's what I'm saying.

02:14:10.000 How long are you a proponent of team humans?

02:14:13.000 People have been in those villages for hundreds and hundreds of years.

02:14:16.000 But animals have been for millions.

02:14:19.000 I'm on team people. 0.98

02:14:20.000 If it's your family that needs that farm to stay alive, and all of a sudden a fucking pack of elephants comes in and eats all the food that you've been working for a year to plant and grow, what do you think? 0.97

02:14:29.000 We should just feed the elephants? 0.98

02:14:30.000 I just want to know where you're at.

02:14:32.000 I'd rather see the animals succeed than us.

02:14:35.000 If I'm being honest, I love people, but we're the ones. 0.94

02:14:41.000 That's a ridiculous thing to say.

02:14:44.000 It doesn't mean the animals are going to go extinct. 0.99

02:14:45.000 Don't you think we're a parasite on the back of Eden? 0.99

02:14:49.000 Don't you think humans are a parasite on the back of this beautiful paradise? 1.00

02:14:55.000 No.

02:14:55.000 No animal dumps nuclear waste or chemicals into rivers, no animal tears down forests except for beavers.

02:15:03.000 So, what makes Team Human so great?

02:15:06.000 Well, we definitely shouldn't do that.

02:15:07.000 I think you need to change your attitude to humans.

02:15:08.000 We definitely shouldn't do those things, but I am a human and I like humans.

02:15:14.000 I love them.

02:15:15.000 I love you.

02:15:16.000 And the only way that you're going to have humans is if you stay on Team Human and not say, I'd rather have the animals here.

02:15:22.000 They're just going to eat you.

02:15:23.000 They're going to eat you and there'll be no more houses.

02:15:25.000 But if you were to press a button and get rid of humans with a press of a button and that everything else could just live here harmoniously, would you do it? 0.99

02:15:33.000 What do you live in a fucking Disney movie? 0.99

02:15:35.000 I'm just asking. 1.00

02:15:36.000 No.

02:15:37.000 No, no chance.

02:15:38.000 I live in a simulation of a Disney movie. 1.00

02:15:40.000 Bro, you live in some bullshit Canadian reality show. 0.99

02:15:43.000 No way he's taking another drink of coffee. 1.00

02:15:45.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

02:15:47.000 I'll fly over this table with my rotten legs. 1.00

02:15:49.000 You're a fucking Team Canada. 1.00

02:15:51.000 I know what you're doing. 1.00

02:15:51.000 I'm just asking you. 1.00

02:15:52.000 You're trying to ruin America by bringing in wolves.

02:15:55.000 He's like a plant.

02:15:55.000 That's what you're doing.

02:15:57.000 He's a plant.

02:15:58.000 I'm asking you.

02:15:58.000 You're trying to ruin America by bringing in live animals.

02:16:01.000 Do you think humans are a parasite on the planet?

02:16:04.000 I think we are a very complicated, intelligent life force that values itself above all else to the detriment of. 0.57

02:16:09.000 Of the ecology of the earth itself.

02:16:13.000 So, therefore, we could do better.

02:16:15.000 We don't all do that.

02:16:16.000 We're not, every company is not dumping things into rivers.

02:16:16.000 All right.

02:16:19.000 If you had a cancer on your body, would you get rid of the cancer?

02:16:23.000 We're not a cancer, dude.

02:16:24.000 We're a part of the earth.

02:16:26.000 We are the predominant intelligent life force on this earth.

02:16:29.000 Who predominantly destroys the earth?

02:16:32.000 Us.

02:16:33.000 Cancer.

02:16:34.000 We're not destroying it, though.

02:16:36.000 We just do a bad job of keeping it clean.

02:16:38.000 That's a fancy way of saying destroying.

02:16:41.000 Well, most animals ship all over the ground.

02:16:44.000 They just don't have kids.

02:16:45.000 You're funny.

02:16:45.000 Hit the button.

02:16:46.000 Come on.

02:16:47.000 You want to do it together? 0.98

02:16:48.000 You should have kids.

02:16:50.000 I love humans.

02:16:50.000 I love kids.

02:16:52.000 I just wish we could do better.

02:16:53.000 How old are you now?

02:16:56.000 Take a guess.

02:16:57.000 Take a guess.

02:16:58.000 You saw my legs.

02:16:59.000 Take a guess.

02:17:00.000 I'll tell you.

02:17:00.000 Are you alive?

02:17:01.000 No, I'll tell you.

02:17:02.000 Well, I've known you for 30 years.

02:17:04.000 Yeah.

02:17:05.000 So you're at least that.

02:17:07.000 How old?

02:17:09.000 You got to be 50 something.

02:17:11.000 How old are you?

02:17:11.000 I'll be 64 this year.

02:17:13.000 Really?

02:17:14.000 Wow.

02:17:14.000 Yeah.

02:17:15.000 Yeah.

02:17:16.000 But I love humans, but I also.

02:17:18.000 If you had a kid now, it might be a problem. 0.98

02:17:20.000 You might have bad jizz.

02:17:22.000 Yeah.

02:17:22.000 Really?

02:17:23.000 You might have old jizz. 0.51

02:17:24.000 Have you seen my legs? 0.83

02:17:26.000 I've seen the legs look good. 0.85

02:17:27.000 What do you mean, bad jizz?

02:17:28.000 You don't.

02:17:28.000 Old jizz.

02:17:29.000 Al Pacino just had a kid and he's 400.

02:17:32.000 Give that kid an IQ test.

02:17:33.000 Really? 0.98

02:17:35.000 Is he a dementoid?

02:17:36.000 He's a baby.

02:17:36.000 I don't know.

02:17:37.000 Maybe her strong genes because she's only 12.

02:17:40.000 The girl he.

02:17:40.000 No.

02:17:43.000 How old is she? 0.99

02:17:45.000 No. 0.96

02:17:46.000 She's 30.

02:17:47.000 Whatever she is, 30 years old. 1.00

02:17:48.000 The old lady didn't have a kid with him. 1.00

02:17:50.000 58.

02:17:51.000 Oh, wow.

02:17:52.000 Yeah.

02:17:53.000 We look pretty good with your chest and my legs.

02:17:55.000 We're doing all right.

02:17:57.000 Right?

02:17:58.000 Did you ever want to have kids at one point?

02:18:00.000 You know, I thought that at one point I would.

02:18:00.000 Yeah.

02:18:05.000 I thought that at one point I might, but it just didn't work out.

02:18:08.000 I was married at one point.

02:18:11.000 It's hard when you're doing the road a lot.

02:18:13.000 It's hard.

02:18:15.000 It is if you make it hard, but I never did the road a lot.

02:18:18.000 I always mixed it so that I enjoyed my life and traveled and did stuff.

02:18:23.000 That's smart.

02:18:24.000 Yeah.

02:18:25.000 But it just didn't work out.

02:18:25.000 That's smart.

02:18:27.000 And who knows?

02:18:28.000 The road ain't closed yet, so who knows?

02:18:31.000 It just checked.

02:18:32.000 Yeah.

02:18:32.000 Make sure it's good.

02:18:33.000 Oh, it's fine.

02:18:34.000 Throw it into a spectrometer.

02:18:35.000 Oh, my God.

02:18:36.000 I just told you I was on OnlyFans for two hours.

02:18:39.000 Analyze the jizz.

02:18:40.000 Make sure it's good stuff. 1.00

02:18:41.000 Wait, can sperm actually go bad?

02:18:43.000 Well, when it comes to autism, and maybe even Down syndrome, there's some people that believe that the older the parents are, and they used to think it was just the older the woman was, it might contribute to those things.

02:19:00.000 Another thing, it is also likely the father.

02:19:03.000 They're also realizing, like, There was this thing that I was reading about miscarriages from parents where the father drinks.

02:19:11.000 And I was like, wow, that's interesting.

02:19:13.000 Because I never really thought that the father being a drunk would affect the sperm, but of course it would.

02:19:18.000 Yeah.

02:19:19.000 Of course it would.

02:19:20.000 Yeah.

02:19:21.000 And weed, too, they used to say weed affected the sperm, but I don't know if that's.

02:19:25.000 Well, they used to say it slows it down or something like that.

02:19:28.000 I don't know.

02:19:29.000 What does Adderall do?

02:19:30.000 Does it speed it up?

02:19:31.000 I don't know.

02:19:32.000 Ozempic, you give birth to a zombie? 1.00

02:19:35.000 You give birth to a fucking jazzed up Adderall. 1.00

02:19:38.000 Dad, I want to fucking clean this house. 1.00

02:19:40.000 Wait, do you have any boys or is it all girls? 1.00

02:19:42.000 Yeah, it's all girls. 0.96

02:19:43.000 Do you wish you had had a boy? 0.99

02:19:43.000 Oh, wow. 0.99

02:19:45.000 I just want them to be healthy.

02:19:46.000 I think wishing that you had a boy or a girl, it's like the universe will give you what it gives you.

02:19:51.000 Yeah, that's good.

02:19:52.000 Yeah.

02:19:52.000 You don't want to, like, you don't want to wish you had a boy when you had a girl.

02:19:56.000 Just appreciate the fact that you have a boy.

02:19:58.000 No, I don't mean eliminate the girls.

02:20:00.000 God bless the three girls, but if you had one more, would it be cool to have a boy?

02:20:04.000 I'm very happy.

02:20:05.000 Oh, good.

02:20:06.000 Okay.

02:20:06.000 I don't think about it that way.

02:20:07.000 You're a good dad.

02:20:08.000 Thank you.

02:20:09.000 That's something I picked up on you today.

02:20:12.000 I think everybody should try.

02:20:14.000 Yeah.

02:20:15.000 If you're a dad, you got one shot at this.

02:20:17.000 One of the things that's really nice for me is that I don't have to travel as much because I have a club here.

02:20:20.000 Yeah.

02:20:21.000 You know, when they were young, I had to travel a lot when they were really young because it's like, I wasn't making as much money.

02:20:28.000 Yeah.

02:20:28.000 It was like a little bit more difficult.

02:20:30.000 And having the club where I don't have to do stand up somewhere else, I don't have to go on the road all the time.

02:20:35.000 Yeah.

02:20:36.000 So I'm only going on the road occasionally for like the UFC.

02:20:38.000 Yeah.

02:20:39.000 And you don't need to either.

02:20:40.000 Just having fun.

02:20:40.000 No.

02:20:41.000 So you're done good, guy.

02:20:44.000 Yeah.

02:20:44.000 It's nice to see Kill Turney make a completely different career arc for all these people.

02:20:44.000 You too, buddy.

02:20:50.000 How?

02:20:51.000 And you're one of them. 1.00

02:20:53.000 It's fucking taking you to the stratosphere. 1.00

02:20:55.000 It's wild to watch. 1.00

02:20:57.000 It's shone a new light on my career.

02:21:00.000 Yeah, it's sort of revitalized it a bit.

02:21:02.000 You, Rob Schneider, Carrotop.

02:21:06.000 I mean, the list goes on and on.

02:21:08.000 There's Kyle Dunnigan. 0.99

02:21:09.000 There's so many people that it just fucking launched them. 0.98

02:21:13.000 So cool. 0.74

02:21:14.000 When Tony asked me to do it two years ago, I'll be honest, I didn't even know what it was.

02:21:21.000 I didn't know who Tony was.

02:21:21.000 That's hilarious.

02:21:23.000 I'd never met him.

02:21:24.000 I knew nothing about it.

02:21:25.000 I was doing your club and they said, Hey, we're shooting tomorrow.

02:21:30.000 Would you want to stay an extra day?

02:21:32.000 And I said, For what?

02:21:33.000 I said, What is it? 0.99

02:21:33.000 They go, Kill Tony. 0.99

02:21:35.000 And I went on.

02:21:36.000 I had no clue.

02:21:36.000 Really?

02:21:37.000 I had no idea what it was.

02:21:38.000 Are you not online at all?

02:21:40.000 No, I didn't know anything about that stuff.

02:21:43.000 How do you stay offline?

02:21:44.000 Well, I go online now because I started a podcast.

02:21:47.000 I'm trying to emulate you, but you've been an inspiration.

02:21:50.000 Thank you, by the way.

02:21:51.000 But I didn't know about all that stuff.

02:21:53.000 And so they asked me to go on.

02:21:55.000 And I did my first set with Tony, and I think you watched it.

02:21:59.000 It was the one where I had the checkbook.

02:22:02.000 And then Tony, when they finished the show, he goes, Oh, you're going to be guest of the year.

02:22:07.000 I go, What are you talking about?

02:22:08.000 And then I was guest of the year, and then it just sort of all this stuff.

02:22:13.000 And now I'm about to shoot a movie with Tony as my star.

02:22:16.000 I'm going to direct a movie with Tony.

02:22:17.000 Was it Madison Square Garden where you were pulling the things out of your pants?

02:22:20.000 Yeah, the limes.

02:22:22.000 I said I had Lyme disease, and I pulled the limes out.

02:22:25.000 Yeah.

02:22:26.000 What if you pull a trophy out of your pants?

02:22:28.000 Yeah, an Oscar.

02:22:29.000 That's when I won Guest of the Year.

02:22:31.000 I love to pull stuff out of my pants, apparently.

02:22:34.000 What is the movie you and Tony are doing?

02:22:36.000 So, my next movie that I'm writing and directing is called Rednecks.

02:22:41.000 And we're going to shoot in September, October with Tony as the star.

02:22:46.000 And I don't know if you do any acting anymore, but I want to offer you a part.

02:22:50.000 I don't know if you're interested.

02:22:52.000 Yeah, you don't like it.

02:22:53.000 I don't like acting anymore.

02:22:54.000 No.

02:22:54.000 You got no interest anymore?

02:22:56.000 Maybe if I could kill it for a day, just run in and do it in a day. 0.91

02:22:59.000 Really? 0.76

02:22:59.000 Yeah. 0.76

02:23:00.000 Something easy.

02:23:02.000 Be fun to have you.

02:23:03.000 Where are you going to film it?

02:23:04.000 We're going to shoot in Florida and Kentucky.

02:23:08.000 Jesus.

02:23:08.000 What if I got you for three days?

02:23:10.000 I would do.

02:23:10.000 Would you do it?

02:23:12.000 We'll talk.

02:23:12.000 Let's talk afterwards.

02:23:13.000 I really don't like acting.

02:23:13.000 Okay.

02:23:15.000 I know.

02:23:16.000 I don't have any time either.

02:23:17.000 That's also a problem.

02:23:20.000 My time is rationed.

02:23:21.000 I get it.

02:23:23.000 Yeah.

02:23:24.000 Do you still have the passion to act at all or no?

02:23:26.000 Yeah.

02:23:27.000 I never really had it in the beginning.

02:23:28.000 Yeah.

02:23:29.000 I only did it for money.

02:23:30.000 Yeah.

02:23:30.000 Like I loved stand up and I loved.

02:23:33.000 You know, going to clubs and doing, and then I got a development deal.

02:23:36.000 It was that simple.

02:23:37.000 Yeah.

02:23:37.000 And then all of a sudden I'm on TV.

02:23:39.000 I'm like, all right.

02:23:40.000 But it was good that I never had a dream for it because then I didn't have a lot of anxiety about it.

02:23:45.000 Yeah.

02:23:46.000 You know, it was more like it was fun to do.

02:23:48.000 Yeah, me too.

02:23:48.000 Because I was always like, I'm just going to go do stand up.

02:23:51.000 Yeah, it was the same way.

02:23:52.000 Yeah, it's better that way.

02:23:53.000 Because the people that like where it's there, oh my God, it's happening, it's like so overwhelming for them.

02:23:58.000 Like I see people have anxiety when they're about to do their scenes, and I was like, Jesus, man.

02:24:04.000 Chill out.

02:24:05.000 Well, we're so used to performing in front of audiences that for some people, the moment, like for young actors, the moment when it's like action and you walk in and then you see that crowd, it's overwhelming for some people.

02:24:19.000 Yeah, it is.

02:24:20.000 It's very hard for them to find that comfort level that allows them to perform at the level that they know they can.

02:24:27.000 They might be really good actors, but the feeling is so overwhelming they can't find the rhythm.

02:24:34.000 You know what the opposite of that is?

02:24:36.000 Was for me, and I don't know if you had this experience.

02:24:39.000 We were used to performing in front of live audiences doing stand up where they're like reacting immediately.

02:24:46.000 We do a joke, they laugh.

02:24:48.000 But now, when you're doing a movie or TV, suddenly you're in front of an audience who are cameramen and directors and make it, and they just stand there.

02:24:57.000 They don't laugh.

02:24:59.000 And that became like the opposite of what we do.

02:25:02.000 So when I first started doing TV and movies, I'd get anxiety because it's like, well, they're not laughing.

02:25:07.000 They're not reacting.

02:25:08.000 They're just standing there.

02:25:09.000 It was all these technical people.

02:25:11.000 And that freaked me out a little bit, but I had to overcome that.

02:25:14.000 Yeah, that is weird.

02:25:15.000 If you think it's really.

02:25:17.000 Funny, and then you're saying it, and no one's gonna listen.

02:25:19.000 Yeah, they're all just standing because they're just making a movie.

02:25:22.000 Right, because it's not like the cameras are there by themselves.

02:25:25.000 There's people behind the cameras, and you're doing it for people.

02:25:28.000 It's all true.

02:25:29.000 Like 50 people would be standing there while you're doing a scene.

02:25:32.000 With a cigarette in their hand, drinking coffee, shaking their hand.

02:25:34.000 Checking notes.

02:25:36.000 Did that throw you when you first started?

02:25:38.000 Well, news radio luckily was in front of an audience.

02:25:41.000 Yeah, that's true.

02:25:42.000 So when you did this.

02:25:43.000 But when they were between the audience and you, was all those people and cameras.

02:25:49.000 Yeah, but the people laughed at all the jokes.

02:25:52.000 If they were good, you know, if they were good jokes.

02:25:52.000 Okay, good.

02:25:54.000 But so that was to me like a different way of delivering jokes.

02:25:58.000 You know, it was still, it was fun.

02:25:58.000 Yeah.

02:26:01.000 Yeah.

02:26:01.000 I enjoyed it.

02:26:02.000 I enjoyed sitcom, but the only way to do it right is to have really good writers.

02:26:07.000 And that's hard to find, man.

02:26:09.000 Like news radio had that and really good performers.

02:26:12.000 But if you're on a bad one, you're in hell.

02:26:15.000 You're in hell and you're just collecting checks. 0.76

02:26:17.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:26:18.000 Good checks, though.

02:26:18.000 And you just.

02:26:19.000 Good checks.

02:26:20.000 Yeah.

02:26:20.000 That's the problem.

02:26:21.000 That's the problem.

02:26:22.000 The velvet prison.

02:26:23.000 Yeah.

02:26:23.000 Those are the guys that wind up doing drugs.

02:26:25.000 The guys that are on a show that they hate.

02:26:27.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:26:28.000 Yeah, you go straight two and a half men. 0.99

02:26:31.000 Fucking Charlie Sheen in it. 0.99

02:26:32.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

02:26:33.000 It's part of it.

02:26:34.000 And part of it is just like you're in that lifestyle anyway.

02:26:37.000 Yeah, you're wild.

02:26:37.000 But part of it is also like, I don't want to do this.

02:26:41.000 Yeah.

02:26:42.000 You know?

02:26:42.000 Yeah, I experienced that.

02:26:43.000 I don't want to do a sitcom.

02:26:45.000 I'm bored.

02:26:46.000 I'm bored with these lame punchlines.

02:26:48.000 And next thing you know, you're smoking crack and running from the cops.

02:26:52.000 You know what I realized too is with these sitcoms.

02:26:55.000 It's they all keep borrowing the same premise. 0.67

02:26:59.000 Like, I did three different sitcoms, and it's like, oh, now we're doing the episode where the lead guy is somehow dating an SM queen. 0.76

02:27:10.000 And now we're doing the episode where Jim gets his car stolen. 0.81

02:27:15.000 Like, you start to realize there's about 40 different episodes, but they all just insert them and sort of change them a little.

02:27:23.000 And it's really very weird.

02:27:25.000 It's like a recipe.

02:27:26.000 So many premises.

02:27:26.000 Yeah.

02:27:27.000 Yeah.

02:27:28.000 Yeah.

02:27:28.000 Right.

02:27:29.000 Well, that's just the uncreative ones.

02:27:31.000 I mean, that's why Curb Your Enthusiasm was so amazing.

02:27:33.000 Yeah.

02:27:34.000 They didn't repeat any premises. 0.97

02:27:35.000 That show was fucking incredibly creative and bizarre. 0.98

02:27:38.000 And no audience. 0.99

02:27:40.000 That's right.

02:27:40.000 Another one, no audience.

02:27:41.000 Yeah.

02:27:43.000 But the ones that were fresh were the ones that didn't.

02:27:46.000 It was more like the traditional sitcoms that just plugged in the premises.

02:27:50.000 It was like, oh my God, I've already done this.

02:27:53.000 But there's something to that form where when it's done really well, it is very enjoyable, it's very comforting.

02:28:00.000 Like, I always thought, like, I saw clips of the Big Bang.

02:28:03.000 I never watched the Big Bang until I started watching it with my kids. 0.97

02:28:07.000 And I'm like, this is a fucking very funny show. 0.82

02:28:09.000 It's like a really good show with very defined characters, really well made. 0.94

02:28:13.000 And I had this prejudice of it.

02:28:16.000 I think because I had seen some clips where they were doing like retakes and there's no audience.

02:28:22.000 So they're saying the jokes with no laughs behind them.

02:28:24.000 It just seems kind of lame.

02:28:25.000 But everything seems lame with that.

02:28:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:28:28.000 Retakes of news radio seemed lame too while we were doing them.

02:28:31.000 Yeah.

02:28:32.000 But when I watched the show, I was like, there's something comforting about this kind of a show, and I wish they still did them.

02:28:38.000 They don't do them anymore.

02:28:39.000 They're dying.

02:28:39.000 They're dead.

02:28:40.000 They're gone.

02:28:41.000 Miss Pat is the only one that I know of that has an actual sitcom right now.

02:28:45.000 Like a 3KM. 1.00

02:28:46.000 She's got a live audience sitcom. 1.00

02:28:49.000 Wow, yeah.

02:28:50.000 I don't think anybody else does.

02:28:51.000 Or if they do, I don't know about it. 1.00

02:28:53.000 They used to be fucking common as shit, man. 1.00

02:28:55.000 Yeah, that was the goal. 1.00

02:28:57.000 That was the dream to go get a sitcom.

02:28:59.000 But isn't it weird that we still enjoy them?

02:29:02.000 Yeah.

02:29:02.000 But yet no one makes them anymore.

02:29:03.000 Yeah.

02:29:05.000 I think they've been knocked out of contention because they're so set up.

02:29:10.000 Whereas we live in this world now where people just scroll real life.

02:29:13.000 But why?

02:29:14.000 Because dramas are still on TV.

02:29:16.000 They're still. 0.99

02:29:17.000 A million NCSI, whatever the fuck those shows are. 0.99

02:29:21.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

02:29:22.000 There's a million of those shows.

02:29:24.000 As the Hulk one, Law and Order, Special Victims Unit.

02:29:26.000 There's a million of those shows. 0.96

02:29:28.000 So, those kinds of same premise shows of cops and lawyers and all that shit, those still exist. 0.84

02:29:36.000 The medical examiner shows, the forensic examiner show, those shows exist. 0.93

02:29:41.000 So, how come all these, you know, there's a resurgence of rancher shows.

02:29:47.000 Now everyone's a rancher, right?

02:29:48.000 There's 15 rancher shows now.

02:29:51.000 So, those shows exist, but no sitcoms.

02:29:53.000 As the incredible Hulk once said, me not know why.

02:29:58.000 I think it's a giant mistake because I think you could make a sitcom right now, whether Paramount Plus does it or one of those organizations that streams, you could make a great fucking multi cam sitcom right now. 0.82

02:30:09.000 Yeah. 0.81

02:30:10.000 I don't even turn on the TV anymore, though.

02:30:13.000 I think people are being weaned right off of television.

02:30:17.000 We're in a transitional phase.

02:30:19.000 I think you don't watch Netflix?

02:30:21.000 Dude, I rarely ever.

02:30:23.000 When I used to go on the road.

02:30:25.000 I would check into a hotel and turn on the TV right away.

02:30:29.000 I don't think I've turned on a hotel TV in about six years.

02:30:33.000 Really?

02:30:33.000 I don't even turn it on.

02:30:35.000 When I go home, I watch my TV maybe once a month, if that.

02:30:41.000 I don't even look at it anymore.

02:30:43.000 So do you look at your phone?

02:30:44.000 I look at my phone.

02:30:45.000 That's it.

02:30:46.000 That's it.

02:30:46.000 It's bizarre.

02:30:47.000 I'm even weirded out by it.

02:30:49.000 It's like, what am I doing?

02:30:50.000 You never sit down and watch a movie?

02:30:51.000 Rarely.

02:30:52.000 It's very rare.

02:30:53.000 You should do that.

02:30:54.000 You should watch a movie.

02:30:55.000 I know.

02:30:56.000 They're very entertaining.

02:30:57.000 People should watch my new movie.

02:30:59.000 Can I say something about it?

02:31:00.000 You don't watch movies and you make them? 0.99

02:31:03.000 You know how fucking crazy that is? 0.99

02:31:03.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:31:05.000 Yeah.

02:31:06.000 What's wrong with you? 0.67

02:31:07.000 I'm crazy. 0.97

02:31:09.000 I'm crazy, all right.

02:31:10.000 What is your new movie?

02:31:11.000 Do you mind me talking about it?

02:31:12.000 Please do.

02:31:13.000 Are you sure?

02:31:14.000 100%.

02:31:15.000 I wrote, directed, and starred in a new movie that just came out a few days ago called Wingman.

02:31:22.000 And it's on streamers, Apple TV.

02:31:24.000 There it is.

02:31:25.000 And it's on Prime Video.

02:31:29.000 And I play a crazy wingman that helps people get laid.

02:31:35.000 Nice.

02:31:35.000 Yeah.

02:31:36.000 And it's with Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace, Evan Marsh.

02:31:41.000 Oh, nice.

02:31:42.000 Shiva Nagar.

02:31:44.000 And did you make this yourself?

02:31:46.000 Well, we made it with a studio, Stardust Pictures, up in Canada with David Lipper and Justin Levine.

02:31:52.000 And it's a full on movie we shot up in Canada.

02:31:57.000 Nice.

02:31:58.000 Yeah, really proud of it.

02:31:59.000 And.

02:32:00.000 And I hope people check it out.

02:32:02.000 I hope they check it out.

02:32:03.000 Yeah.

02:32:03.000 I'll check it out if you promise to watch movies every now and then yourself.

02:32:07.000 I'll do it if you promise to be in my next movie and we'll watch it together.

02:32:11.000 That's a lot.

02:32:12.000 It's an offer.

02:32:13.000 Okay.

02:32:13.000 We can talk.

02:32:14.000 Okay.

02:32:14.000 I'm excited to see you get back in to do a little acting.

02:32:18.000 I like that there are comedy movies again.

02:32:20.000 Yeah.

02:32:20.000 I really do.

02:32:21.000 That's nice.

02:32:21.000 Well, that's the one with I'm going to do with Tony is full on.

02:32:24.000 That's why I'm sort of asking you because I want to see you get your comedy face in there again.

02:32:28.000 What is it about? 1.00

02:32:29.000 It's about a redneck culture. 0.99

02:32:32.000 And this is the part where you really love it because I know you love vehicles. 0.99

02:32:36.000 It centers around something called a mud bog where guys in Florida jack up their pickup trucks and drive through mud for three days.

02:32:45.000 It's not monster trucks.

02:32:46.000 They just drive through mud and jump and spray.

02:32:50.000 And then the other part of the movie takes place in those airboats that drive through all the marshes in Florida.

02:32:57.000 And you would be the mayor of this town and get into it with Tony, who becomes one of these mug bod guys. 0.99

02:33:04.000 So you'd be around all this shit. 0.99

02:33:06.000 Good Lord, Florida is a different part of the world. 1.00

02:33:08.000 Isn't it wild? 1.00

02:33:10.000 Look at these fucking cars. 1.00

02:33:11.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:33:12.000 You got an old Camaro?

02:33:13.000 Yeah.

02:33:13.000 This is what they do.

02:33:14.000 Tell me you wouldn't like to be around that, dude.

02:33:17.000 It's so fun.

02:33:17.000 Scroll back up, please.

02:33:21.000 Digging into the world of mud bogging in north central Florida. 0.54

02:33:25.000 Yeah.

02:33:26.000 So Tony's going to be the lead guy who tries to win the whole mud bog thing. 1.00

02:33:33.000 But meanwhile, the mayor, which would be you, wants him out of town because he's such a redneck. 1.00

02:33:38.000 He doesn't like the culture. 0.99

02:33:39.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:33:40.000 Yeah.

02:33:41.000 Look at us.

02:33:44.000 Florida is so different.

02:33:46.000 It is such a different place.

02:33:47.000 Yeah.

02:33:48.000 God.

02:33:49.000 So we're going to have fun doing that.

02:33:51.000 But yeah, thank you for letting me mention Wingman.

02:33:53.000 It's awesome.

02:33:54.000 It's when you do an indie project, it helps to be able to talk about it.

02:33:59.000 So thank you.

02:34:01.000 If you got an offer after this show to do a sitcom, would you consider doing it?

02:34:05.000 And if someone said, listen, I think we could bring back the multicam sitcom, but we want you to star in it, Harlan.

02:34:12.000 I would if it was, if it's all about the material.

02:34:14.000 Yeah.

02:34:15.000 Because me and you were older.

02:34:16.000 I think as we get older, it becomes about how do we want to dedicate our time.

02:34:21.000 I'm not interested in just doing, oh, I got a sitcom.

02:34:23.000 It's got to have meaning to me.

02:34:25.000 Of course.

02:34:26.000 It's got to be something where I feel like.

02:34:28.000 Yeah, but if you could help create it.

02:34:29.000 Oh, yeah.

02:34:30.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:34:30.000 100%.

02:34:31.000 All those guys that used to work on all those shows, like Seinfeld and Friends, they have to still be out there in the world.

02:34:39.000 Isn't that nuts?

02:34:39.000 Oh, yeah.

02:34:41.000 Yeah.

02:34:42.000 Imagine back in the 90s when everybody wanted a sitcom when we were first coming up. 0.99

02:34:47.000 If you said, you know, one day there'll be no more sitcoms, you'd be like, What the fuck are you talking about? 0.97

02:34:52.000 You would have never believed that. 0.99

02:34:54.000 If you went into these rooms where they're making Sex in the City and the single guy and all these rooms, you'd say, Guys, enjoy it while you can.

02:35:02.000 Yeah.

02:35:03.000 Because in a couple of decades, there's going to be zero sitcoms on television.

02:35:07.000 They would have just laughed.

02:35:08.000 Yeah. 0.91

02:35:08.000 They would have kicked you out of that office. 0.91

02:35:10.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:35:11.000 You don't know what you're talking about. 1.00

02:35:12.000 Meanwhile, that's true.

02:35:13.000 Well, this is why I love it.

02:35:15.000 I hate it.

02:35:16.000 I'm just going to go back to it quickly AI because it shows we're evolving.

02:35:19.000 You know, remember, Joe, at one point, movies were black and white.

02:35:24.000 They didn't have sound.

02:35:25.000 Really?

02:35:26.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:35:29.000 And then talkies came and color and digital.

02:35:32.000 And so I love it that every form of our entertainment is evolving and becoming.

02:35:38.000 There's stuff going to come that we don't even know, which I love.

02:35:41.000 Me too.

02:35:42.000 Yeah.

02:35:42.000 But I think sitcoms didn't have to go away.

02:35:44.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:35:45.000 Yeah, maybe not, but maybe so.

02:35:47.000 Like the new way, like your daughters probably don't want to sit down for half an hour. 1.00

02:35:51.000 They love sitcoms. 1.00

02:35:52.000 They do?

02:35:53.000 They watch old ones.

02:35:54.000 Okay, well, I was wrong.

02:35:56.000 I was really wrong.

02:35:57.000 Well, I'm hurting.

02:35:58.000 Me and my youngest, we sat through the entire season.

02:36:01.000 I mean, the entire, all seasons of Big Bang Theory.

02:36:04.000 That was me and my family, we watched that one.

02:36:07.000 Huh.

02:36:07.000 Yeah.

02:36:08.000 My wife and my, and then we watched Young Sheldon, which was the next version of it.

02:36:13.000 Young Sheldon was really good.

02:36:15.000 It was a single cam show that was on Netflix.

02:36:18.000 And it was Sheldon as a young kid.

02:36:20.000 It was the genius kid as a young boy.

02:36:23.000 Very funny show, but totally different.

02:36:25.000 Like, really cute, sweet show, but not in front of a live audience.

02:36:30.000 And I think there's something.

02:36:32.000 I loved doing news radio, I really did.

02:36:35.000 Yeah.

02:36:35.000 And, but it was just because it was an insanely talented cast and we were all like brothers and sisters.

02:36:43.000 We were, we had so much fun.

02:36:44.000 Family. 0.95

02:36:45.000 For five years, we worked together and we got drunk all the time and it was so silly. 0.95

02:36:49.000 Yeah.

02:36:49.000 It was such a fun set.

02:36:50.000 It's like summer camp.

02:36:51.000 Yeah.

02:36:52.000 It was really fun.

02:36:53.000 It was really, and the show, I think, was really good.

02:36:55.000 Yeah.

02:36:56.000 And also, here's the best part it was never really successful, which was great because none of us got really rich or famous from that show.

02:36:56.000 It did well.

02:37:02.000 It was really, it was, it was always like not doing so well in the ratings.

02:37:06.000 We got moved nine times in five years.

02:37:08.000 Oh, wow.

02:37:09.000 And this was back before the internet.

02:37:10.000 So you couldn't, like, send out a tweet, hey, we're on Sunday nights now.

02:37:14.000 Wow.

02:37:14.000 You know?

02:37:15.000 And it was back also when nobody had TV.

02:37:17.000 I just saw this trailer the other day.

02:37:18.000 This is a spinoff from Big Bang Theory, but it's not a, you know, in front of an audience sitcom.

02:37:24.000 And it's dot multicam either, I suppose, but it was popping up. 0.99

02:37:29.000 Oh, no shit. 1.00

02:37:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:37:30.000 It's called Stuart Fails to Save the Universe.

02:37:35.000 But it's a new show, you know?

02:37:37.000 Okay.

02:37:37.000 It's a comedy.

02:37:38.000 It is a 30 minute show, kind of.

02:37:39.000 So it's in that universe.

02:37:42.000 Even like the The logo was like that's the same kind of.

02:37:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:37:46.000 It's on HBO.

02:37:46.000 Wow.

02:37:47.000 Yeah.

02:37:47.000 Nice.

02:37:48.000 Wild.

02:37:49.000 Yeah.

02:37:50.000 Huh.

02:37:52.000 Who's created more bangers than that Chuck Lorre guy?

02:37:54.000 Oh my God.

02:37:55.000 Yeah.

02:37:56.000 That guy's created so many big sitcoms.

02:37:58.000 He did.

02:37:58.000 He was big banged.

02:38:00.000 An article he wrote, or I just read interviewing him, said that those shows kind of died because the Office and Curb kind of killed it for a while.

02:38:00.000 What's that?

02:38:07.000 Interesting.

02:38:08.000 The single camera, single camera, no audience.

02:38:10.000 Yeah.

02:38:11.000 I'm also thinking I wouldn't want to go sit and watch a taping of a show right now.

02:38:16.000 How much would they have to pay an audience to do that?

02:38:19.000 Right.

02:38:19.000 Well, you only have to pay the audience until the show becomes successful.

02:38:22.000 Yeah, I guess people would want to go.

02:38:22.000 True.

02:38:23.000 Yeah, you don't really want a paid audience because they're not as much fun. 0.98

02:38:27.000 Like news radio in the beginning, nobody knew who the fuck we were. 0.84

02:38:30.000 But by season three, the audience was news radio fans. 0.96

02:38:33.000 And it became a totally different thing.

02:38:33.000 Yeah.

02:38:34.000 It was really fun.

02:38:35.000 And Phil Hartman used to do stand up.

02:38:37.000 Oh, nice.

02:38:38.000 He had talked about doing stand up in the clubs, but he was really good at impressions.

02:38:42.000 He would do Bill Clinton impressions.

02:38:44.000 He had bits, he had little things he would run.

02:38:44.000 Yeah.

02:38:46.000 And he would just do it for fun.

02:38:48.000 And, you know, we talked about him actually doing it in clubs, and he thought about doing it. 0.87

02:38:53.000 But it was the whole thing was silly.

02:38:55.000 Like, Andy Dick would address the audience, people would answer questions.

02:38:59.000 We had a good warm up guy.

02:39:01.000 It was like a party that was going on, everybody had a great time.

02:39:04.000 And that was after the show, you know, caught its gear.

02:39:08.000 But it never was popular until it became syndicated.

02:39:11.000 Then it was in syndication, then it became really popular.

02:39:14.000 The last year's was sort of popular.

02:39:16.000 Every week they put out the top 100.

02:39:19.000 And my sitcom was always number 99 or 100.

02:39:25.000 So at least yours was probably up in the top 30.

02:39:28.000 One day, Lou Morton was one of our writers, and Lou, every week, would show up with a t shirt with a number on it that he would draw with a magic marker of what we were.

02:39:28.000 No.

02:39:38.000 And one day he showed up and it said 88.

02:39:40.000 I go, 88?

02:39:41.000 He goes, yep.

02:39:42.000 I go, no.

02:39:43.000 He goes, yeah. 1.00

02:39:44.000 I go, fuck. 1.00

02:39:45.000 Dude, I was 100 every week. 1.00

02:39:49.000 Wow.

02:39:50.000 What network were you on?

02:39:51.000 The WB.

02:39:52.000 We were on NBC.

02:39:54.000 Yeah, okay.

02:39:54.000 So WB didn't have affiliates all across the country.

02:39:58.000 We only had like 60%.

02:39:59.000 88 at NBC is you're barely alive. 0.98

02:40:02.000 But still, 100 hertz.

02:40:03.000 Yeah.

02:40:05.000 100.

02:40:05.000 Well, they always, always tell us don't worry.

02:40:06.000 We're not worried about the numbers.

02:40:08.000 We know you've got to find your audience again.

02:40:10.000 Now you're on Monday night.

02:40:11.000 Yeah.

02:40:11.000 You just be on Sunday.

02:40:12.000 Oh, man.

02:40:13.000 And one time we were on Thursday night.

02:40:15.000 We were in the Friends Sandwich. 0.99

02:40:17.000 So it was Friends and Seinfeld, which Paul Sims, the executive producer of News Radio, famous called the shit sandwich. 0.96

02:40:23.000 Because in between Friends and Seinfeld, you would have like Caroline in the City and these shows that weren't as good. 0.92

02:40:31.000 Do you want to hear about Salt in the Wound?

02:40:34.000 Yeah.

02:40:35.000 So mine was show number 100.

02:40:37.000 Okay.

02:40:38.000 It was called Simon.

02:40:39.000 It was me.

02:40:40.000 I was the star.

02:40:41.000 I played Simon.

02:40:43.000 Jason Bateman played my brother.

02:40:45.000 Look at that.

02:40:47.000 And the lead girl, Andrea Bendewald, we ended up dating.

02:40:53.000 She became my girlfriend.

02:40:55.000 Her best friend was Jennifer Aniston.

02:40:58.000 She lived with Jennifer.

02:41:00.000 So I would go and stay at Jennifer's house every night with my girlfriend.

02:41:04.000 We were like threes company.

02:41:07.000 And I'd have to sit there and watch Friends with Jennifer, the number one show, while me and Andrea were at the bottom, the number 100. 0.99

02:41:15.000 It was like, oh, I mean, Love Jennifer was so happy, but talking about salt in the wound, it was like, oh, damn. 0.98

02:41:23.000 Isn't it crazy, though? 0.99

02:41:24.000 But you're on TV, you're living the dream.

02:41:27.000 This is one of the things.

02:41:27.000 Oh, it was great.

02:41:28.000 It was great.

02:41:29.000 The earliest social media was the Variety Magazine and the Hollywood Report.

02:41:35.000 Yeah.

02:41:36.000 That was like the same thing where these people would compare themselves to everybody else.

02:41:39.000 They would look at the rankings.

02:41:39.000 Yeah.

02:41:40.000 And I would show up on the set, and you know, like all these people love to read those things, and they were reading those things.

02:41:48.000 I started calling them the devil's rag.

02:41:49.000 I go, Why are you reading the devil's rag?

02:41:51.000 I go, Because we were complaining, like, I can't believe we're number 36.

02:41:54.000 We were on, you know, Thursday night, we would be number two or number one or whatever.

02:41:58.000 And I go, Last time I checked, I'm on TV.

02:42:02.000 I go, We're on TV.

02:42:02.000 Yeah.

02:42:03.000 We're on TV on NBC.

02:42:05.000 There's not a lot of people that get to be on TV.

02:42:07.000 Like, this is great.

02:42:07.000 Yeah.

02:42:08.000 We're living the dream.

02:42:09.000 So we're not number one.

02:42:11.000 You guys are reading that and you're forgetting how many people that you're friends with that are going on auditions right now that would kill to be on NBC.

02:42:18.000 But it's the devil's rag.

02:42:19.000 It's the same thing that happens with, you know, you say, oh, I just got a new car.

02:42:23.000 I'm pretty happy.

02:42:24.000 And then, oh, Jeff Bezos got a yacht. 1.00

02:42:26.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:42:27.000 I'll be honest, I was like you. 1.00

02:42:29.000 I was like, I'm on TV.

02:42:31.000 But I got to tell you, as we got deeper into the season, and I had to sit there beside Jennifer Aniston and watch her number one show every week, and Old 100 is sitting beside her. 0.99

02:42:45.000 I got to say, it started to seep in where you're just like, fuck, I'm on TV. 0.97

02:42:51.000 You know, it's sort of like there were days when it was just, you could feel it. 0.99

02:42:54.000 Not blaming her, but just the business.

02:42:57.000 It was hard to sit at one end and see the other, but that's the way it works.

02:43:02.000 It's the way it is, but you got to really just be happy.

02:43:05.000 Oh, it's great.

02:43:06.000 You're winning the lottery.

02:43:07.000 Yeah.

02:43:07.000 You won the lottery.

02:43:08.000 You just didn't win the mega Powerball.

02:43:10.000 Yeah.

02:43:11.000 And I loved it.

02:43:12.000 I got to work with Jason, and I, you know, I was the star of my.

02:43:16.000 I came from the suburbs of Toronto.

02:43:18.000 Never thought I'd.

02:43:19.000 Do anything.

02:43:20.000 Here I am.

02:43:21.000 I'm the star of my own sitcom, Simon.

02:43:23.000 I'm like, this is unbelievable.

02:43:25.000 Yeah.

02:43:26.000 I share your attitude.

02:43:27.000 Yeah.

02:43:28.000 Yeah.

02:43:29.000 And there's a lot of them that don't work, man.

02:43:31.000 I was on the set and we were there.

02:43:31.000 Yeah.

02:43:35.000 Like, so you'd go to Sunset Gower and there'd be a bunch of other places that were next to you.

02:43:39.000 Yeah.

02:43:39.000 And I'd go visit with all those guys.

02:43:41.000 Because, like, a lot of them were my friends.

02:43:42.000 Lenny Clark.

02:43:43.000 Lenny Clark was right down the street.

02:43:44.000 Lenny Clark.

02:43:49.000 Lenny Clark.

02:43:50.000 Lenny Cl.

02:43:52.000 Are you sure?

02:43:53.000 You don't want to finish?

02:43:54.000 Did John Lariquette yell at you?

02:43:55.000 So, before I got my own sitcom, I was in Hollywood.

02:43:59.000 I did two auditions.

02:44:01.000 I did one for Ellen DeGeneres' first show, it was called These Friends of Mine.

02:44:05.000 And I was a guest star on the show with Molly Shannon.

02:44:09.000 And then my second audition was for the John Lariquette show.

02:44:14.000 And I went in and auditioned.

02:44:16.000 And the feedback to my agents was John said, This guy wants his own sitcom.

02:44:23.000 And I said to my agents, I said, you're damn right I do.

02:44:26.000 And the next gig I got was my own sitcom.

02:44:28.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:44:29.000 Chick Chan was pretty cool.

02:44:30.000 So, you think he didn't like you because you wanted your own sitcom, or he thought you were too good for his show because you want your own sitcom?

02:44:36.000 I think he must have sensed I walked in there with attitude or cockiness, which I didn't.

02:44:40.000 I just did the audition, but he must have been reading my vibe somehow.

02:44:44.000 Well, that's you.

02:44:45.000 Yeah, so.

02:44:47.000 That's how you want, like, people that don't, you know, you, this Harlan, you've always been like this.

02:44:52.000 I have.

02:44:53.000 From the moment I met you, you've always been like this very happy, very confident guy. 0.99

02:44:59.000 You never look rattled to do a show, you always look like you're having a good fucking time. 0.99

02:45:03.000 All of us, like, there were moments where everyone had a big show and you're like, fuck, real nervous. 0.99

02:45:03.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

02:45:08.000 You were never like that.

02:45:09.000 No.

02:45:09.000 You were always, like, happy go lucky.

02:45:12.000 I don't know one person that doesn't like you.

02:45:12.000 Yeah.

02:45:15.000 Oh, wow.

02:45:16.000 Do you know how crazy that is?

02:45:17.000 No, I'm not even married.

02:45:19.000 But do you know how crazy that is?

02:45:20.000 Like, I know every comic that I know has a comic that they don't get along with, that they hate.

02:45:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:45:26.000 Someone hates them or they hate them or there's some fucking fuck that guy. 1.00

02:45:30.000 That guy's a piece of shit. 1.00

02:45:31.000 His comedy sucks. 1.00

02:45:32.000 No one says that about you. 0.99

02:45:35.000 That's a blessing.

02:45:35.000 Do you know how amazing that is?

02:45:37.000 We were talking about that in the green room one day.

02:45:39.000 We were talking about it in the green room because it was after you came on with Dimitri.

02:45:43.000 I told everybody I was howling. 1.00

02:45:45.000 He waited the whole show before he pulled his fucking snake out of his pants. 1.00

02:45:48.000 By the way, that snake sat right in front of Donald Trump when he was here. 1.00

02:45:51.000 I loved it.

02:45:52.000 I told you that.

02:45:53.000 I know you did. 0.99

02:45:54.000 So that conversation that we had in the green room was like, who the fuck do you know that doesn't like Harlan? 0.99

02:46:00.000 We all sat around and talked about it. 0.99

02:46:02.000 There's no one.

02:46:04.000 You are like the most universally loved comedian that I know.

02:46:08.000 I have to defend Tony to everybody.

02:46:08.000 Oh my God.

02:46:10.000 Yeah, Tony, yeah.

02:46:12.000 He's a great guy.

02:46:13.000 Yeah.

02:46:13.000 He's a great guy.

02:46:14.000 He is, yeah.

02:46:15.000 It's just like in that world, you have to understand the roast world.

02:46:17.000 Like that is not the real world, kids.

02:46:20.000 That is, you're going for blood.

02:46:23.000 Like if you're in a cage fight and you elbow someone in the face, it's not because you're a bad person.

02:46:23.000 You know?

02:46:28.000 You have to.

02:46:29.000 That's your job.

02:46:30.000 That's the game we're playing.

02:46:31.000 If you don't do it, you're letting yourself down.

02:46:35.000 You've got to go in and fight.

02:46:36.000 Yeah.

02:46:37.000 That's the game we're playing.

02:46:38.000 These are the rules that we're under.

02:46:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:39.000 We're all talking shit. 1.00

02:46:41.000 You know? 1.00

02:46:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:42.000 It's uh, and so when you see people complain about it, yeah, say I understand the general public that's not aware of what roasts are because the reality of roasts are especially for like if you're a 22 year old kid, the last time there were roasts on television before the Tom Brady Bros was literally 10 years ago, yeah.

02:46:58.000 Like, do you remember the Charlie Sheen roast, the Donald Trump roast, the Comedy Central roast?

02:47:02.000 They used to have them all the time, all the time.

02:47:03.000 They were a long time ago, yeah.

02:47:05.000 It's a long time in the zeitgeist, yeah.

02:47:08.000 So, those things don't exist to kids, to kids, comedy is joking about stuff, comedy is Chris Rock, comedy is Kevin Hart, yeah, comedy is Louis C.K. That's what they think of comedy as.

02:47:19.000 They don't even understand the jokes.

02:47:20.000 Like, that this is. 0.99

02:47:22.000 Roast jokes are fucking mean. 0.99

02:47:24.000 They've always been fucking mean. 1.00

02:47:26.000 They can be cruel, too. 1.00

02:47:27.000 Personal, ruthless.

02:47:29.000 Go back and watch all those old Comedy Central roasts. 1.00

02:47:32.000 They were fucking brutal. 0.99

02:47:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:47:34.000 They were brutal. 1.00

02:47:34.000 Patrice would just eviscerate the entire fucking stadium. 1.00

02:47:38.000 Those things. 0.99

02:47:40.000 The thing is, like, if you're a person and you're not accustomed to roasts and you don't get why those jokes are so mean, I get it.

02:47:48.000 But comedians. 1.00

02:47:50.000 Comedians that are getting upset about these roast jokes, fuck all the way off. 1.00

02:47:56.000 Just fuck all the way off. 1.00

02:47:57.000 All the way? 1.00

02:47:58.000 You fucking traitor. 1.00

02:47:59.000 You know what this is. 1.00

02:47:59.000 All the way off. 1.00

02:48:00.000 You know exactly what this is. 1.00

02:48:02.000 You're a fucking traitor. 1.00

02:48:03.000 You're just using this moment to try to boost yourself up, to try to like knock down what's happening in these. 1.00

02:48:10.000 You could disagree with the content.

02:48:12.000 You could say, I think they went too far with this.

02:48:14.000 I don't think. 0.99

02:48:15.000 But this fucking pretending that these people are actual racists and Nazis just because they're telling these jokes that are in a roast. 0.99

02:48:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:48:23.000 Fuck all the way off. 1.00

02:48:25.000 Yeah, don't suit up. 1.00

02:48:26.000 Go out and play hockey if you don't want to play hockey.

02:48:29.000 Like, sit on the bench.

02:48:31.000 And don't badmouth the people playing hockey.

02:48:34.000 Yeah, it is what it is.

02:48:36.000 That's the game.

02:48:37.000 That's the game we're playing.

02:48:38.000 We're playing this ruthless game.

02:48:39.000 And by the way, you know who didn't have a problem with it? 0.99

02:48:41.000 Kevin fucking Hart. 1.00

02:48:43.000 Kevin fucking Hart has defended every single person that said horrible shit about him, about him being lynched from a bonsai tree, and all the craziest shit that they said. 1.00

02:48:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:48:52.000 Well, you know who else didn't have a problem with it?

02:48:54.000 The people, the corporations that put it on corporate television, on corporate airwaves.

02:48:59.000 So there's a whole subsection.

02:49:02.000 Of the foundation of where these platforms are given, they didn't care about it either, or they wouldn't do it.

02:49:08.000 Well, they knew from the Tom Brady roast how powerful those things are now.

02:49:12.000 The Tom Brady roast was the number one watch thing in Netflix history.

02:49:17.000 Wow.

02:49:17.000 There's more than 55 million people watch that thing.

02:49:20.000 I got to say, I'm not the hugest fan because I don't love cruel humor as much, but I do love it that the Tom Brady roast, I feel like it kicked wokeness over the cliff, like those buffalo.

02:49:33.000 We were getting so woke.

02:49:35.000 And we needed that roast to sort of course correct.

02:49:38.000 There's two things that killed Woke. 0.99

02:49:40.000 Number one, Kid Rock gunned down a whole fucking stack of Bud Light kids. 0.99

02:49:46.000 I love that. 0.99

02:49:47.000 That was it.

02:49:48.000 That was so good.

02:49:49.000 That might have been it.

02:49:50.000 Oh, that was gorgeous. 0.99

02:49:51.000 That might have been it because then they got to see the real financial consequences of being fucking completely insane. 0.96

02:49:58.000 That people were fed up. 0.98

02:49:58.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:50:00.000 They're like, enough. 1.00

02:50:01.000 And Kid Rock saying, fuck you, Anheuser Bush. 0.99

02:50:03.000 Like, that is, that's a Big hit to the stock price, and then people realize, oh, this is a micro set of people that are very loud, but it's not the macro, it's not, yeah, it's not, it's not the general, it's even smaller than micro, yeah, it's like micro, micro. 1.00

02:50:20.000 Not only that, but the people that were in it, a lot of them abandoned ship, yeah, a lot of them abandoned ship.

02:50:25.000 Virtue signaling is done, yeah, just realize they got caught up in a thing that was like the way people were behaving, and so they imitated what was going on in their social groups.

02:50:35.000 It's a normal thing that people do, but it just wasn't rational.

02:50:38.000 And that's why it got shot down by Kid Rock.

02:50:41.000 By the way, what kind of gun did he use?

02:50:43.000 I don't know guns.

02:50:44.000 I bet you know what he used.

02:50:46.000 I think he used an AR.

02:50:47.000 Let's go back and look at it.

02:50:48.000 It's an assault rifle.

02:50:50.000 Is it like automatic?

02:50:51.000 Semi automatic.

02:50:52.000 I mean, maybe he used an automatic.

02:50:53.000 He's in Tennessee.

02:50:54.000 They have some solid gun laws.

02:50:55.000 He just blasted away.

02:50:57.000 You can kind of have whatever you want.

02:50:58.000 How many in a clip for an AR do you know?

02:51:00.000 It's called a magazine.

02:51:02.000 And see, I don't know. 0.98

02:51:03.000 Canadian.

02:51:04.000 I don't know anything about guns.

02:51:05.000 They vary.

02:51:06.000 A magazine.

02:51:07.000 They took all your guns up there in Canada.

02:51:09.000 So what is he shooting there?

02:51:09.000 Well, we never had them.

02:51:12.000 Wow, look at that.

02:51:14.000 Yeah.

02:51:14.000 Let's see the video of him doing it, and I can kind of tell you better.

02:51:17.000 That's wild.

02:51:19.000 Kid Rock shoots back at Bud Light.

02:51:21.000 How many views does this have?

02:51:24.000 How many views does this video have?

02:51:26.000 Some news reporting of it.

02:51:27.000 I don't mean to.

02:51:28.000 He didn't post it on YouTube.

02:51:29.000 Look at this.

02:51:32.000 Oh, man.

02:51:35.000 Okay.

02:51:36.000 That's an AR, I think.

02:51:37.000 That's the magazine.

02:51:38.000 But it might be a fully automatic.

02:51:41.000 That's not a clip.

02:51:42.000 Let me hear it, please.

02:51:45.000 Yeah, I think that's fully automatic.

02:51:47.000 Yeah, that's fully automatic.

02:51:48.000 Wow.

02:51:48.000 100%.

02:51:50.000 So he has some kind of machine gun. 0.92

02:51:55.000 I want to shoot up a six pack of Dr. Pepper just for fun. 0.86

02:51:59.000 I love Dr. Pepper, but now I want to shoot some pop.

02:52:03.000 Why don't you just go shoot something you don't like? 0.99

02:52:05.000 Because it's kind of symbolic of something you're trying to kill. 1.00

02:52:08.000 Wolves?

02:52:09.000 Yeah.

02:52:10.000 I love wolves. 0.98

02:52:11.000 You want to shoot a wolf?

02:52:13.000 We're not going back to the wolves.

02:52:14.000 Depends on where they are.

02:52:15.000 Forget it.

02:52:15.000 Listen, if wolves are in the mountains and they're just being wolves and they're eating elk and deer, and I'm all for wolves.

02:52:20.000 I'm not an anti wolf person, but I think you shouldn't bring them into residential neighborhoods and drop them off in ranches.

02:52:20.000 Are we?

02:52:27.000 I think that's fucking ridiculous. 0.99

02:52:29.000 I'm bringing you back. 0.99

02:52:30.000 But I think that wolves in the wild are important.

02:52:33.000 I'm not an anti wolf person.

02:52:35.000 I just don't like people doing what I call ballot box biology, where you get people to decide by voting that are never going to experience these wolves.

02:52:43.000 Do you think we should reintroduce wolves to Colorado?

02:52:45.000 And all these people that just got back from Whole Foods are like, yeah, that would be amazing.

02:52:50.000 I heard it was going to help the sprouts grow.

02:52:52.000 And they vote yes. 0.97

02:52:54.000 And then these poor lambs are getting eaten alive.

02:52:57.000 Have you shot a wolf?

02:52:58.000 No, no.

02:52:59.000 I don't want to hunt wolves.

02:53:00.000 I mean, I would shoot a wolf if I thought the wolf was endangering my.

02:53:03.000 Family trying to kill my dog or something like that.

02:53:06.000 But I love wolves.

02:53:07.000 I don't not like wolves.

02:53:09.000 I think they're awesome.

02:53:10.000 I think they're awesome.

02:53:11.000 Have you ever heard a wolf howl in the wild?

02:53:14.000 No.

02:53:14.000 It's very haunting.

02:53:16.000 It's very ghostly.

02:53:17.000 Even more, I know you've heard coyotes, but a wolf has this long howl.

02:53:22.000 It's almost, I can see why Native Americans are so spiritually connected to it.

02:53:27.000 It's very ghostly and it's spiritual almost.

02:53:31.000 It's a very beautiful sound.

02:53:34.000 No, they're amazing animals.

02:53:35.000 That's pretty good.

02:53:40.000 Sort of like that.

02:53:54.000 You know, if you do that, I had a friend who had wolves.

02:53:56.000 Sorry, I slipped.

02:53:57.000 I had a friend who had wolves.

02:53:58.000 If you do that in his house, they start howling.

02:54:00.000 Oh, yeah.

02:54:01.000 Yeah, they go nuts.

02:54:02.000 Yeah, I would go over his house and.

02:54:08.000 Father?

02:54:09.000 Wild.

02:54:10.000 What a wild animal.

02:54:12.000 They're amazing.

02:54:13.000 Crazy noise.

02:54:14.000 Look, they're incredible.

02:54:15.000 They're incredible.

02:54:19.000 That's so awesome.

02:54:21.000 I saw one in the wild.

02:54:23.000 They're important to keep populations. 1.00

02:54:25.000 I just don't think you should reintroduce them to fucking Aspen, you assholes. 1.00

02:54:29.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:54:30.000 It might be fun to see a pack of timbers taking down a skier.

02:54:34.000 Like Charlie Sheen coming down the hill with Denise Richards and 12 timber wolves take them down and.

02:54:43.000 There was a movie about that called Frozen.

02:54:45.000 Not like the Let It Go, Let It Go.

02:54:47.000 Oh, yeah, it was with Liam Neeson.

02:54:49.000 No, that was the Gray.

02:54:51.000 The Frozen movie is a horror movie. 0.79

02:54:52.000 Someone knows their horror movies.

02:54:54.000 It's a horror movie.

02:54:55.000 I know all the wolf movies.

02:54:56.000 It's a horror movie about these kids that are skiing and they get stuck on a ski lift because they forget they're up there and there's wolves down there.

02:55:05.000 And they get killed.

02:55:05.000 Okay.

02:55:06.000 So the guy falls and his legs break and then the wolves come and get him.

02:55:10.000 See, you're going to get mad at me, but a movie like this one scare me because.

02:55:14.000 I just know wolves to be skittish like this. 0.84

02:55:17.000 You're out of your mind.

02:55:18.000 Yeah.

02:55:18.000 You don't know what you're talking about.

02:55:19.000 If you're injured, like lions, leopards, jaguars, like, forget it.

02:55:25.000 They'll take you down.

02:55:26.000 But my experience with wolves is they're more skittish around humans.

02:55:30.000 But I don't want to get into it again.

02:55:32.000 We can go to Arby's later and have a fight.

02:55:34.000 If you have a broken leg like that guy did in this movie, you're bleeding and you can smell it.

02:55:39.000 They're tearing him apart right now.

02:55:40.000 Look at it.

02:55:41.000 They're eating him.

02:55:41.000 Watch it.

02:55:42.000 They're eating him. 0.98

02:55:43.000 They're killing the man.

02:55:44.000 Is that Denise Richards?

02:55:45.000 No.

02:55:46.000 It looks like Drew Barry.

02:55:48.000 Spoiler, they live.

02:55:50.000 Also, spoiler, no wolves in New Hampshire. 1.00

02:55:52.000 It's all bullshit. 1.00

02:55:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:55:54.000 There probably was at one point.

02:55:55.000 Yeah.

02:55:55.000 They killed them all because they were killing people and livestock.

02:55:58.000 Yeah.

02:55:59.000 Yeah.

02:56:00.000 You know how they killed them, too? 1.00

02:56:00.000 Idiots. 1.00

02:56:01.000 Most of them they poisoned. 1.00

02:56:02.000 What they would do is they would inject strychnine into horses and leave the horse carcass.

02:56:06.000 Oh, wow. 0.53

02:56:07.000 And then they would all die. 0.99

02:56:08.000 Wow.

02:56:09.000 They did a lot of trapping, too.

02:56:10.000 Those cruel, the snap traps.

02:56:13.000 Yep.

02:56:14.000 They did that, too.

02:56:15.000 I knew some old trap guys up when I worked up north.

02:56:19.000 And these guys, you might not want to hear this, but the way they'd take them out is they'd trap them in the leg traps, and then they didn't want to damage the pelt, so then they walk up to them while they're trapped and they just clonk them.

02:56:33.000 They club them to death.

02:56:35.000 I like how they club seals like that. 1.00

02:56:36.000 Yeah.

02:56:37.000 Horrible.

02:56:37.000 Ugh.

02:56:38.000 Yeah, that's, I don't like that.

02:56:39.000 The clubbing seals, man, was rough.

02:56:41.000 That was rough.

02:56:42.000 You ever see those videos?

02:56:43.000 And the seals, at least a wolf would run away.

02:56:47.000 These seals, they're just laying out sunbathing, and they walk up and just Bam!

02:56:52.000 Smack and pop their skulls.

02:56:53.000 I know, and you're doing that for their fur. 0.98

02:56:55.000 And the babies. 0.99

02:56:56.000 They'd smack the babies because they had that beautiful white fur. 1.00

02:57:00.000 Oh my gosh. 0.99

02:57:02.000 These things are like a chromosome away from being a sex toy. 0.94

02:57:04.000 They're so cute. 0.98

02:57:07.000 Wow.

02:57:13.000 Wolves are good.

02:57:14.000 Yeah.

02:57:15.000 You just don't want them in your neighborhood.

02:57:16.000 I do.

02:57:17.000 They should be in the woods.

02:57:18.000 I love them.

02:57:19.000 I wouldn't mind if they were around.

02:57:21.000 You say that.

02:57:24.000 Do you have a dog?

02:57:25.000 I've had them.

02:57:26.000 What if you came out and your dog was getting eaten alive by wolves?

02:57:29.000 Because they eat dogs.

02:57:30.000 I lost one of my dogs to coyotes.

02:57:33.000 I remember the day you told me your pit bull went up and took out a whole squad of coyotes.

02:57:38.000 It wasn't my pit bull.

02:57:38.000 No, no, no.

02:57:40.000 No, no, no.

02:57:40.000 Oh, I thought it was yours.

02:57:41.000 Your neighbor's?

02:57:42.000 It was one of my friends who worked at a pet store who also worked at a veterinarian's office.

02:57:48.000 And he told me the story about this pit bull that came into the veterinarian's office.

02:57:48.000 Oh, okay.

02:57:52.000 It was covered in cuts.

02:57:53.000 Oh, okay.

02:57:54.000 Yeah, you told me this, like, Like 10, 15 years ago.

02:57:58.000 It was like one of those.

02:57:58.000 Yeah.

02:57:59.000 You know, there's these companies that take pit bulls and they breed them and make them like 120 pounds.

02:58:05.000 Yeah.

02:58:05.000 They keep breeding them bigger.

02:58:06.000 They look like more.

02:58:07.000 This was one of those. 1.00

02:58:08.000 This thing was a fucking tank. 1.00

02:58:09.000 Like a tank. 1.00

02:58:10.000 Yeah.

02:58:10.000 And he said it was covered in cuts.

02:58:12.000 And they asked the guy, like, what happened?

02:58:14.000 He goes, I don't know.

02:58:16.000 You know, I came home. 1.00

02:58:17.000 He was all fucked up and bleeding. 1.00

02:58:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:58:18.000 So he brings him in. 0.99

02:58:19.000 They stitch him up.

02:58:20.000 And then the guy follows the blood trail out into the hills and he finds nine dead coyotes.

02:58:25.000 I remember you told me that.

02:58:25.000 Yeah.

02:58:26.000 We were at the store one night and you told me that you just heard it.

02:58:30.000 I was like, That is the nuttiest part.

02:58:31.000 That story stayed with me because it was so like. 0.54

02:58:33.000 He said he went there, he said it looked like Vietnam.

02:58:36.000 Yeah.

02:58:36.000 He goes, they were just, their necks were torn apart.

02:58:38.000 Their fucking legs were broken. 0.99

02:58:40.000 Because this pit bull, once he grabs a hold of them, he just starts shaking them. 1.00

02:58:43.000 Coyotes weigh like 30 pounds.

02:58:45.000 Yeah, they're not super big.

02:58:46.000 But they would do this thing where they would like corner an animal and they would trick it.

02:58:51.000 And the way they would trick it, they would send one animal out there to get chased.

02:58:54.000 Yeah.

02:58:55.000 And so that.

02:58:56.000 Very cunning.

02:58:56.000 The dog would chase it and they would all come into the sides and tear it apart.

02:59:00.000 Yeah.

02:59:00.000 They were really smart.

02:59:02.000 They fucked with the wrong dude. 0.99

02:59:04.000 Wow. 0.99

02:59:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:59:05.000 Isn't that a crazy story?

02:59:06.000 I remember that one.

02:59:07.000 You told me that.

02:59:08.000 I was like, that's crazy.

02:59:10.000 Yeah.

02:59:11.000 Wow.

02:59:12.000 They're everywhere now.

02:59:12.000 Yeah.

02:59:15.000 Coyotes are everywhere. 0.93

02:59:16.000 Everywhere. 0.97

02:59:16.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:59:17.000 Oh, yeah.

02:59:19.000 They're really cool, too.

02:59:20.000 Coyote America, that book by Dan Flores, the same guy who wrote Bison Ecology, Bison Diplomacy, he wrote this amazing book about coyotes where he explains why they're everywhere.

02:59:31.000 Because gray wolves and coyotes don't breed.

02:59:35.000 But red wolves and coyotes do.

02:59:37.000 That's why you have those koi wolves on the East Coast.

02:59:39.000 Yeah.

02:59:40.000 Gray wolves have always killed coyotes.

02:59:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:59:42.000 So when gray wolves find coyotes, they kill them.

02:59:45.000 And so coyotes are used to being persecuted by the gray wolves and then they just keep moving to new places.

02:59:50.000 That's what they do.

02:59:51.000 So that's how they made it all the way across the country.

02:59:53.000 So when people were killing coyotes or people were trying to hunt coyotes, they just moved.

02:59:58.000 They just moved to new places.

02:59:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:00:00.000 Now they're everywhere.

03:00:01.000 I see them in my front lawn almost every other week.

03:00:04.000 Yeah, they're everywhere.

03:00:05.000 I'm in the Hollywood Hills and I see them.

03:00:05.000 Yeah.

03:00:08.000 They're fucking right past my swimming pool. 0.97

03:00:10.000 I mean, it's not cool if you have a dog or a cat because you will eat them, but they are cool. 0.98

03:00:15.000 It's a cool animal.

03:00:16.000 Oh, they're really cool.

03:00:17.000 Their howls are wild, too.

03:00:19.000 These yips in the middle, like.

03:00:22.000 Well, they go off sometimes if there's a fire engine goes by in Hollywood.

03:00:28.000 The coyotes will react to it and go off.

03:00:30.000 They also keep the rats down.

03:00:32.000 That's why you don't see a lot of rats.

03:00:34.000 They keep the rat population down.

03:00:36.000 Oh, yeah.

03:00:37.000 If they killed off all the coyotes, it would have a devastating effect for the ecosystem, too. 1.00

03:00:41.000 There would be a bunch of shit that would be around all the time now that they're killing and eating. 1.00

03:00:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:00:46.000 Yeah, no, they're cool animals, man.

03:00:48.000 There was a.

03:00:50.000 A girl, speaking of being killed by wolves, there was a girl in Prince Edward Island about 12 years ago, I think.

03:00:57.000 She got killed by coyotes.

03:00:58.000 She got killed by a pack of coyotes.

03:01:00.000 She was out running with her Walkman on.

03:01:03.000 She was like a promising folk singer.

03:01:06.000 They said that those coyotes were unusual because they were used to killing moose.

03:01:12.000 Moose?

03:01:12.000 Yeah, the coyotes would literally, they were going after bigger game because there wasn't a lot of game there.

03:01:16.000 So they were used to packing together and taking out the moose by attacking their legs.

03:01:22.000 Keep cutting at their legs until they can't run.

03:01:22.000 Yeah.

03:01:26.000 Wow, I've never heard of coyotes taking down a moose.

03:01:28.000 That's why.

03:01:29.000 We looked it up on the show.

03:01:31.000 This was a very unusual area.

03:01:33.000 That's strange, yeah.

03:01:34.000 And it's one of the reasons why they think these coyotes killed this girl.

03:01:37.000 And she wasn't big, she was small.

03:01:38.000 Yeah, she was out jogging, yeah.

03:01:40.000 But that's the thing, man.

03:01:42.000 They don't have rules. 0.99

03:01:43.000 They don't, like, well, we don't fuck with people and people don't fuck with us. 0.99

03:01:47.000 But the orcas seem to. 0.99

03:01:49.000 They seem to understand what we are.

03:01:50.000 They've saved people, even out in the wild.

03:01:52.000 Like, people that fell overboard, they've saved them.

03:01:55.000 Yeah, isn't it strange that such a probably the top predator in the sea next to the sperm whale, the killer whale could take whatever it wants and somehow instinctively it leaves humans alone?

03:02:11.000 I don't really understand it.

03:02:12.000 And that's why I talk about sort of the programming of nature to step around humans somehow.

03:02:19.000 Because it doesn't make sense.

03:02:21.000 Humans look like seals with the same body shape, the same weight, pretty much, and yet.

03:02:26.000 Orcas, there's no documented kill of a human by an orca.

03:02:31.000 I know.

03:02:32.000 Other than sea worlds, right?

03:02:33.000 Well, they're so smart.

03:02:33.000 Yeah.

03:02:35.000 And their brains are huge. 0.96

03:02:36.000 They have huge brains.

03:02:38.000 We just equate intelligence with your ability to manipulate your environment.

03:02:43.000 So they don't have a house.

03:02:43.000 They don't have cell phones.

03:02:44.000 They must be idiots. 1.00

03:02:46.000 But we don't know. 1.00

03:02:47.000 And they clearly understand that we're different than everything else.

03:02:50.000 But that's what I mean.

03:02:52.000 I think all the critters do.

03:02:54.000 Well, we are.

03:02:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:02:55.000 Show some respect, bitch. 1.00

03:02:56.000 We're the ones with the guns. 1.00

03:02:58.000 It's Biatch.

03:02:59.000 Biatch!

03:03:00.000 Thank you.

03:03:02.000 I mean, look, we both love animals.

03:03:05.000 Yeah.

03:03:05.000 I know you love animals.

03:03:06.000 I love animals too.

03:03:07.000 I just love people more.

03:03:08.000 I love people the same, but if it came to deciding whether we left Earth with humans or animals, I'll be honest, this will sound mean.

03:03:20.000 I'd give it to the animals.

03:03:22.000 Why? 0.55

03:03:23.000 Because they don't know cruelty.

03:03:25.000 That's not true.

03:03:26.000 They don't know.

03:03:28.000 Malice.

03:03:28.000 Do you know?

03:03:30.000 Listen, you're talking crazy talk.

03:03:32.000 Do you know how bears kill things?

03:03:34.000 They just eat them.

03:03:35.000 They hold them down.

03:03:35.000 They eat them.

03:03:36.000 They don't even kill them first.

03:03:38.000 But it's not from cruelty, it's for survival.

03:03:41.000 It doesn't matter.

03:03:42.000 Humans are cruel.

03:03:43.000 Have you heard of Hiroshima?

03:03:44.000 Yeah, I have. 1.00

03:03:45.000 That was probably less cruel than a bear eating you, asshole, first. 1.00

03:03:49.000 No, but there's no intent with an animal. 1.00

03:03:52.000 They're just trying to eat you.

03:03:54.000 An animal doesn't have intent.

03:03:56.000 Right, but the end result is still the same.

03:03:57.000 If you were getting eating animals, Asshole first by a grizzly bear. 0.65

03:04:01.000 You're not thinking, well, he doesn't have intent to be cruel. 0.96

03:04:03.000 This is just how he eats me. 1.00

03:04:04.000 Asshole first is his way of eating me. 1.00

03:04:06.000 He can't go to the grocery store. 1.00

03:04:06.000 But he has to eat you. 1.00

03:04:09.000 He doesn't have to eat you. 0.99

03:04:09.000 He can kill you first and then eat you like a cat does. 0.99

03:04:12.000 But he doesn't know how. 1.00

03:04:13.000 He doesn't realize he's being cruel.

03:04:15.000 We do.

03:04:16.000 No, no, no.

03:04:16.000 He doesn't care.

03:04:17.000 Right.

03:04:18.000 He doesn't know how. 1.00

03:04:19.000 He could definitely kill you. 1.00

03:04:20.000 If you were a bear and they were fighting, he would grab you by the neck and he would kill you like they try to kill each other. 1.00

03:04:25.000 But when they eat you, they just don't care.

03:04:28.000 Right.

03:04:29.000 There's no malice.

03:04:29.000 That's what I mean.

03:04:30.000 Whereas humans.

03:04:32.000 But the result is the same. 1.00

03:04:33.000 You're not going to take comfort in the fact that he doesn't have malice while he's eating your dick. 1.00

03:04:38.000 It's pronounced gourd. 1.00

03:04:43.000 You know that video, well, the audio of Grizzly Man getting eaten?

03:04:47.000 Yeah.

03:04:48.000 It's five minutes long.

03:04:49.000 Oh, yeah.

03:04:50.000 It's five minutes long of him screaming while this thing's just eating him by grabbing his thighs and pulling chunks out of his thighs.

03:04:55.000 By the way, they finally just recently released that audio, right?

03:04:59.000 Because in the movie Grizzly Man, the director refused to play it.

03:05:02.000 No, it's not real.

03:05:03.000 It's Werner Herzog.

03:05:04.000 They destroyed that audio.

03:05:06.000 The fake audio that's online is just fake.

03:05:08.000 The new one?

03:05:09.000 It's not even new.

03:05:10.000 It's been around forever.

03:05:11.000 But you listen to it. 1.00

03:05:12.000 If you know it's fake, you hear it, you go, oh, this is bullshit. 1.00

03:05:15.000 It's like, ah! 1.00

03:05:18.000 It sounds fake.

03:05:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:05:20.000 It sounds fake. 0.97

03:05:21.000 But the point is, like, yeah, people are gross and cruel. 1.00

03:05:24.000 So are chimps. 1.00

03:05:25.000 You know, so what they do to monkeys is fucking horrific. 0.99

03:05:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:05:28.000 You know, I don't know if they're doing it on purpose, but what they do to people, it seems like they're doing it on purpose when they bite your fingers off and pull your eyeballs out.

03:05:35.000 It seems like they're being cruel.

03:05:36.000 You know, I think it's a primate survival tactic, especially like primates that engage in war.

03:05:42.000 Chimps engage in war.

03:05:42.000 Right.

03:05:44.000 You develop cruelty in order to be better at your job.

03:05:48.000 Yeah, but I think with them, they lack emotional cruelty.

03:05:53.000 Like humans.

03:05:55.000 We have the knowledge to know something's bad or good.

03:05:59.000 They just know survival.

03:06:01.000 And we engage in bad, which makes us a different kind of cruel.

03:06:06.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

03:06:08.000 Yeah.

03:06:08.000 Did I just win my first argument?

03:06:10.000 No, I mean, you're right.

03:06:11.000 I agree with you about that.

03:06:13.000 We have a certain type of cruelty that's not like any other animal's cruelty because we're aware of how it's going to affect other people.

03:06:20.000 There you go.

03:06:21.000 They're not really aware of it.

03:06:21.000 Yeah.

03:06:22.000 They just don't care.

03:06:23.000 Yeah.

03:06:24.000 You know, when they do those things where they communicate with chimpanzees, they teach them sign language.

03:06:27.000 Yeah.

03:06:28.000 You know, they've never had a chimp ask a question. 1.00

03:06:31.000 Yeah, right. 1.00

03:06:32.000 Interesting.

03:06:33.000 Isn't that interesting?

03:06:33.000 Because they all communicate, but they're never like, why are you wearing clothes?

03:06:38.000 You know what I mean?

03:06:39.000 I never thought of that.

03:06:40.000 That's weird, right?

03:06:42.000 Yeah.

03:06:43.000 Can we get Arby's for lunch?

03:06:45.000 Like, why don't they ever ask for anything?

03:06:47.000 They don't ask.

03:06:48.000 Yeah, that's.

03:06:49.000 Well, wait, did.

03:06:51.000 You know what?

03:06:52.000 That's not true.

03:06:53.000 How so?

03:06:54.000 Coco, the gorilla, he would ask for affection.

03:07:01.000 He would ask for love and hugs.

03:07:03.000 I think there's a.

03:07:03.000 Oh, yeah, but that's a request.

03:07:05.000 That's not a question.

03:07:06.000 Like, why am I here?

03:07:08.000 Oh, okay.

03:07:08.000 What is this building?

03:07:09.000 You're talking more of a philosophical question.

03:07:11.000 No, I'm talking about having actual curiosity about its environment.

03:07:16.000 Right, I understand.

03:07:16.000 Why is your skin white and mine is not?

03:07:18.000 Yeah, they're just not aware.

03:07:20.000 How come you don't walk on your hands?

03:07:21.000 You know what I mean?

03:07:24.000 What we call intelligence is very compartmentalized, it's very boxed in in comparison to our intelligence.

03:07:30.000 We have the intelligence to understand this thing probably doesn't like being in the cage.

03:07:34.000 Yeah.

03:07:35.000 No.

03:07:35.000 Think that way.

03:07:36.000 Do you believe in the concept of a missing link, like something in between Homo erectus and Neanderthal and then us modern day?

03:07:45.000 Do you think there's a missing creature?

03:07:48.000 I think, first of all, the real problem is what's the evidence in terms of the fossil record?

03:07:54.000 It's very incomplete.

03:07:55.000 Right.

03:07:56.000 Because it's hard to get fossils.

03:07:57.000 Right.

03:07:58.000 Like for someone to leave a fossil behind, you have to die in mud or there has to be specific conditions.

03:08:05.000 So, most animals that die, I think we looked it up before, it's like 99% are never going to leave a fossil.

03:08:11.000 So, when they find things like Denisovans, so the Denisovans, I think they found in the 2010s or something like that.

03:08:11.000 Right.

03:08:21.000 When did they find them?

03:08:22.000 Was it more recently than that?

03:08:23.000 Maybe it was more recently than that.

03:08:25.000 So, they just found like a tooth and a finger.

03:08:29.000 And then they start finding bones.

03:08:30.000 They're like, hey, this is not like a normal human tooth.

03:08:33.000 This is not like a normal human bone.

03:08:35.000 And then they do DNA tests on them and then they go, oh, this is different.

03:08:39.000 This is a different type of human.

03:08:40.000 So, there's humans that lived alongside humans that we just found out about 10 years ago.

03:08:45.000 Huh.

03:08:46.000 So, how many versions of from ancient hominid to modern Homo sapien?

03:08:53.000 How many versions were there that we have evidence of?

03:08:55.000 That's what we don't know.

03:08:56.000 What's the Homo we're missing?

03:08:58.000 Here it is.

03:08:58.000 2008.

03:08:59.000 Michael Shunkov of the Russian Academy of Sciences and other Russian archaeologists.

03:09:05.000 Oh.

03:09:05.000 What happened?

03:09:06.000 We just got scrolled, player.

03:09:08.000 What did that?

03:09:09.000 We're getting scrolled.

03:09:09.000 That was weird.

03:09:10.000 What did it just do?

03:09:11.000 That was so weird.

03:09:14.000 That was so weird.

03:09:15.000 It's like they didn't want us reading this out loud.

03:09:16.000 What's the Homo we're missing? 0.60

03:09:19.000 That's a good question.

03:09:20.000 So, archaeologists from the Institute of Archaeology and Ethnography, the Siberian branch of the Russian Academy of Sciences in Novosibirsk Akademgorodok, investigated the cave and found a finger of a juvenile female hominid originally dated from 50 to 30,000 years ago.

03:09:42.000 And then the estimate was changed to 76,000 to 51,000 years ago.

03:09:47.000 Specimen was originally named X Woman.

03:09:52.000 So, anyway, the whole thing is they found that this is. 0.78

03:09:56.000 Go back to that again.

03:09:58.000 A novel ancient hominid genetically distinct from both contemporary modern humans and from Neanderthals.

03:10:05.000 So, they knew from that that it's a new kind of human.

03:10:09.000 And that's just 2008.

03:10:11.000 So, this is 18 years ago they found that.

03:10:13.000 So, who knows how many ones they could find if they kept.

03:10:16.000 If you had.

03:10:17.000 There's a limited amount of archaeologists that are doing this kind of work.

03:10:19.000 Imagine if you had.

03:10:21.000 Thousands and thousands of them scouring Asia, scouring Africa.

03:10:27.000 There's probably a bunch more that we haven't discovered.

03:10:29.000 Oh, definitely.

03:10:30.000 So, this idea of the missing link, I'm not sure if that's accurate.

03:10:33.000 Okay.

03:10:34.000 But then the question is I'm glad you said that because it sort of illuminated me a little too.

03:10:39.000 Yeah.

03:10:40.000 I hadn't thought of it in those terms.

03:10:42.000 2008, a Taiwanese citizen purchased a fossil Homo mandible dredged from the seafloor of the Taiwan Strait from an antique shop and donated to Taiwan's National Museum, the National Science.

03:10:55.000 Attempts to extract the DNA were unsuccessful, but in 2025, protein analysis of the specimen designated Pengyu 1 was published, showing that it belonged to a male Denis Oven.

03:11:06.000 Was this in a shop?

03:11:07.000 I love the missing link, it was in an antique shop.

03:11:10.000 Well, that's how they found Gigantopithecus, too.

03:11:12.000 I like that old lamp.

03:11:14.000 I'll take that plate, and how about historic missing link?

03:11:17.000 How much is that?

03:11:19.000 What the hell? 0.87

03:11:20.000 I think it's just a different kind of person. 0.97

03:11:22.000 Yeah.

03:11:23.000 Interesting.

03:11:24.000 If they kept finding more of them, maybe we'd have a better understanding of what we're talking about.

03:11:29.000 But there's a giant leap, that's for sure.

03:11:32.000 Yeah.

03:11:33.000 It's the biggest mystery in the entire fossil record the doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years.

03:11:39.000 It's a nutty thing that happened.

03:11:41.000 All of a sudden, our brains grew.

03:11:42.000 Well, what's interesting to me, too, is that you do have some fossilized remains that are very, very, very old that date back to caveman era stuff.

03:11:53.000 And then we have stuff closer to what we just looked at.

03:11:55.000 But there's that one.

03:11:57.000 Transitional, where you'd think there'd be a transitional creature that they can't seem to find.

03:12:04.000 Well, they might find it.

03:12:06.000 They might.

03:12:06.000 I hope they do.

03:12:07.000 I think some of these are getting closer.

03:12:09.000 They don't have a lot of Denisovan bones.

03:12:12.000 But there's going to be a few more that they find, I'm sure, if they keep looking.

03:12:15.000 I bet there was probably a bunch of different kinds of humans.

03:12:18.000 The question is why did we succeed?

03:12:20.000 And why are we so much smarter than all the rest of them?

03:12:23.000 We should go antiquing this weekend, see what we can dig up.

03:12:26.000 I don't think it's that way.

03:12:27.000 Well, according to that, the same thing looks in an antique shop.

03:12:31.000 It looks in China, right?

03:12:32.000 It was a long time ago.

03:12:33.000 I don't care if they bought China or pottery.

03:12:35.000 I just, let's go in.

03:12:39.000 I got to wrap this up.

03:12:40.000 Buddy.

03:12:40.000 Always good to see you, brother.

03:12:42.000 Great to see you.

03:12:43.000 Thanks for having me, man.

03:12:44.000 Thanks for being here.

03:12:45.000 Wingman, is it available streaming?

03:12:47.000 Is it available everywhere?

03:12:48.000 It's only streaming on Apple and Amazon Prime right now, all over the world.

03:12:55.000 And then in Canada, we will start streaming the end of June, and they might even do 60 to 90 theaters up there.

03:13:02.000 So we're excited. 0.99

03:13:03.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

03:13:03.000 Wingman, yeah. 1.00

03:13:04.000 And good luck with the Tony one, too.

03:13:05.000 That sounds fun.

03:13:06.000 Yeah, and hopefully, maybe we'll see you there.

03:13:09.000 Hopefully, maybe.

03:13:09.000 Yeah.

03:13:10.000 And congratulations on Guest of the Year.

03:13:12.000 That's awesome, also.

03:13:13.000 Oh, that was last year?

03:13:14.000 Yeah, that was last year.

03:13:15.000 Thank you, buddy.

03:13:16.000 Great to see you, lovely man.

03:13:17.000 Love you too, brother.

03:13:18.000 All right, bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 29, 2026

Joe Rogan Experience #2507 - Harland Williams

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript