The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2512 - Joey Diaz

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 All right, brother.

00:00:13.000 Hey.

00:00:13.000 What's happening?

00:00:14.000 What's going on? 1.00

00:00:14.000 Same shit. 1.00

00:00:15.000 Great to be here. 1.00

00:00:16.000 Great to see you.

00:00:17.000 How are you feeling?

00:00:20.000 I can't believe you could walk so quickly after getting the knee fixed again.

00:00:24.000 It was like three days, man.

00:00:26.000 That's nuts. 0.95

00:00:26.000 But yesterday I fucked it up at Newark Airport because I wanted to walk. 0.95

00:00:31.000 You know, but it was like I. walk every day at the gym and then I walk my neighborhood for breakfast and after dinner. 0.65

00:00:38.000 But that's a loop, you know?

00:00:40.000 This was 10 loops yesterday.

00:00:42.000 So thank God I had a baggie with edibles with me on the plane. 0.97

00:00:45.000 I ate the edibles and I asked the fucking flight attendant if she'd give me some ice and that's how I got it down. 1.00

00:00:51.000 Then you rub it with that Vortom shit, that liquid cocaine juice. 1.00

00:00:54.000 Yeah, there's a cream that became illegal. 1.00

00:00:54.000 What? 1.00

00:00:57.000 You buy it over the counter.

00:00:58.000 What is that?

00:00:59.000 It's Vortom.

00:01:01.000 Don't quote me, man.

00:01:03.000 But it's a good cream.

00:01:04.000 You have to rub it, though, twice a day.

00:01:04.000 It numbs your eye.

00:01:06.000 Oh, yeah? 0.99

00:01:07.000 Yeah, but it fucking feels fantastic. 0.96

00:01:09.000 I've never heard of it. 0.95

00:01:10.000 Yeah, Voltron, Voltrax.

00:01:11.000 Voltron, what? 0.98

00:01:12.000 Don't listen to me, dog.

00:01:13.000 Just Google what's that?

00:01:15.000 That it.

00:01:16.000 Voltarant.

00:01:17.000 Voltarant, arthritis pain.

00:01:19.000 And you just rub it on your knee?

00:01:20.000 Yeah, a couple times a day.

00:01:21.000 Anything that hurts.

00:01:23.000 What is it? 1.00

00:01:24.000 It's like a fucking gel with cocaine that takes care of the fucking situation for you. 0.99

00:01:32.000 Prescription strength, over the counter, non steroidal anti inflammatory that penetrates the skin to relieve joint pain, inflammation, and stiffness. 0.99

00:01:41.000 Interesting.

00:01:41.000 I never heard of it before.

00:01:43.000 Widely used for osteoarthritis and muscle aches.

00:01:45.000 Should not be used for acute injuries like simple strains or bruises.

00:01:49.000 I wonder why.

00:01:53.000 Why can't you use it for strains or bruises?

00:01:56.000 Does it say why?

00:01:57.000 That seems weird. 0.99

00:01:58.000 Because, like, that's what people use, like, ibuprofen and shit for. 0.97

00:02:04.000 I wonder why you can't use it. 1.00

00:02:05.000 Like, I couldn't use any of that shit. 1.00

00:02:06.000 I could only use Tylenol. 1.00

00:02:08.000 Whatever the fuck that is. 0.99

00:02:08.000 I couldn't take ibuprofen after the surgery. 0.99

00:02:11.000 Have you ever used DMSO?

00:02:11.000 No?

00:02:12.000 I don't know what that is, Joe. 1.00

00:02:15.000 It's this shit right here. 1.00

00:02:17.000 You rub it on? 1.00

00:02:18.000 Yeah.

00:02:20.000 That's another horse tranquilizer, another horse medication.

00:02:24.000 Yeah, they use it in veterinary applications, but it's really good for pain, for pain and injury.

00:02:30.000 Take that, keep it.

00:02:32.000 No, I have a bunch of them.

00:02:32.000 Thank you.

00:02:34.000 I buy shit in bulk. 0.99

00:02:35.000 We were talking about Lala Zato. 1.00

00:02:37.000 Yeah.

00:02:37.000 That was the early steroids, which were the 70s.

00:02:40.000 We don't know what the fuck we were getting in the 70s. 0.98

00:02:43.000 Everything came from Germany, I think. 1.00

00:02:44.000 I think they were getting it. 1.00

00:02:45.000 Deck of the Robelin, all that shit. 0.99

00:02:47.000 I think they were getting human growth hormone from cadavers. 1.00

00:02:52.000 See if that's true.

00:02:53.000 Jamie, put that into our AI sponsor, Perplexity.

00:02:57.000 Did they used to get human growth hormone from cadavers?

00:03:00.000 I think they did.

00:03:02.000 I think that's how they used to get it.

00:03:03.000 What do you get human growth hormone from now?

00:03:06.000 That's a good question.

00:03:08.000 I don't know.

00:03:09.000 I don't know how they do it.

00:03:10.000 It's synthetic.

00:03:11.000 I know it's synthetic.

00:03:12.000 So it must be they isolate the molecule, they figure out how to reproduce it, and then they make it.

00:03:19.000 Somehow.

00:03:20.000 I have no idea.

00:03:22.000 But the way they used to do it back then.

00:03:24.000 Cadaver derived human growth hormone was real, used mid 1900s to 1985.

00:03:30.000 It turned out to be dangerous because it sometimes transmitted prion diseases like Cruxfeld Jacob and is no longer used and has been fully replaced by synthetic recombinant HDH.

00:03:42.000 So, Cruxfeld Jacob disease, that's mad cow disease.

00:03:46.000 It's the same kind of disease. 0.95

00:03:48.000 And what it comes from is it's the same thing that cannibals get when people eat. 0.99

00:03:53.000 Human brain tissue they get and neurons and that kind of shit. 0.99

00:03:57.000 You get this same disease. 0.95

00:04:00.000 Alzada was one of the first U.S. sports figures to admit using anabolic steroids in the last year of his life as he battled against the brain tumor, which eventually caused his death.

00:04:09.000 Alzada asserted that his steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness.

00:04:15.000 He recounted his steroid abuse in an article of Sports Illustrated.

00:04:18.000 I started taking anabolic steroids in 69 and never stopped.

00:04:22.000 Now I'm sick and I'm scared.

00:04:25.000 It was addicting mentally and mentally addicting.

00:04:29.000 90% of athletes I know are on the stuff.

00:04:31.000 We're not born to be 300 pounds or jump 30 feet.

00:04:35.000 I became very violent on the field, off it too.

00:04:37.000 I did things only crazy people do.

00:04:39.000 Once in 1979 in Denver, a guy sideswiped my car.

00:04:42.000 I chased him up and down the hills through the neighborhoods.

00:04:45.000 I did that a lot.

00:04:46.000 I chased a guy, pulled out of his car, beat the hell out of him.

00:04:49.000 But look at me now.

00:04:50.000 I wobble when I walk, and sometimes I have to hold on to somebody.

00:04:54.000 You have to give me time to answer questions because I have trouble remembering things.

00:04:57.000 He died at 43.

00:04:58.000 43 from brain cancer.

00:05:00.000 What do you think?

00:05:02.000 Wow.

00:05:03.000 He didn't look good at the end.

00:05:04.000 Like, he wore the bandanas. 1.00

00:05:06.000 El Zeta was Jewish?

00:05:08.000 It says he was inducted into the Jewish Hall of Fame.

00:05:12.000 What did it say?

00:05:13.000 Go back to that, what I was just reading.

00:05:18.000 International Jewish Hall of Fame.

00:05:20.000 Jewish Sports Hall of Fame.

00:05:21.000 I didn't even know that existed.

00:05:26.000 Okay.

00:05:27.000 So, I don't know if that was that stuff that Grothorama did that, but.

00:05:33.000 Well, listen, he's saying he can't walk at the end, he can't remember.

00:05:36.000 That's the knocks to the head.

00:05:38.000 And mixed with whatever was going on with everything else, it becomes something else.

00:05:44.000 I lied.

00:05:46.000 That's one of those lies that everybody.

00:05:50.000 It's like when bodybuilders say they're natural. 1.00

00:05:52.000 Shut the fuck up, bitch. 1.00

00:05:54.000 Nobody's that big. 1.00

00:05:55.000 Nobody's that big without help. 0.61

00:05:57.000 There's a bunch of goofy guys out there that still try to claim natural.

00:06:00.000 They're like, come on, son. 1.00

00:06:03.000 How many fucking steaks do you eat a day? 1.00

00:06:04.000 Like the Barbarian Brothers, 36 eggs. 1.00

00:06:07.000 There's some guys that have freak genetics.

00:06:09.000 They have very unusual genetics and they get real big naturally.

00:06:13.000 That's super, super rare.

00:06:13.000 But that's rare.

00:06:15.000 As a matter of fact, I got picked up by an UBI yesterday.

00:06:18.000 Guess who was the driver?

00:06:19.000 Who?

00:06:19.000 Joel Romero's nephew.

00:06:21.000 And he's a judo champion.

00:06:21.000 No way.

00:06:23.000 No way.

00:06:23.000 He talked in Spanish for about 15, 20 minutes.

00:06:25.000 He lives in Jersey or here?

00:06:26.000 Right here.

00:06:26.000 He lives in Jersey.

00:06:27.000 Because all these Uber drivers are Cuban. 1.00

00:06:29.000 All of them in Austin. 0.99

00:06:29.000 Really? 0.99

00:06:30.000 They're all getting replaced by robots. 1.00

00:06:32.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:06:33.000 Bro, I saw a Cuban yell at a robot last time I was here. 1.00

00:06:33.000 That's a good thing. 1.00

00:06:37.000 He got out of the car yelling at the car and he realized, Fonio and robot.

00:06:41.000 He got back in the car.

00:06:42.000 My bad.

00:06:43.000 That's hilarious.

00:06:43.000 Because the guy cut him off.

00:06:44.000 He cut you off all the time, he's fucking Waymo. 0.99

00:06:46.000 No, I stay away from those guys. 0.99

00:06:47.000 They get right in front of you. 1.00

00:06:48.000 They're ridiculous. 0.98

00:06:50.000 I don't trust those cars at all and I don't see how people sit. 0.99

00:06:53.000 I don't.

00:06:54.000 It's not for me, brother.

00:06:55.000 Did you hear about that lady?

00:06:56.000 She got into one and a homeless guy was in the back?

00:06:58.000 No.

00:06:59.000 Yeah, some guy used the Waymo.

00:07:01.000 He got his luggage out, left the hatch open, probably figured the thing closed itself.

00:07:05.000 It didn't. 1.00

00:07:06.000 Homeless guy hopped in, shut the door. 1.00

00:07:08.000 Lady gets the way mode. 0.61

00:07:09.000 There's a homeless guy in the back.

00:07:10.000 He starts yelling at her for paying robots.

00:07:13.000 Why are you paying robots?

00:07:16.000 I got to tell you about my homeless situation this week, Joe.

00:07:19.000 Oh, no.

00:07:19.000 So, my daughter played at Egg Harbor this weekend.

00:07:22.000 It's like 25 minutes outside of Atlantic City, which is an hour and a half from my house.

00:07:26.000 So, we went down for Saturday's tournament.

00:07:29.000 They won.

00:07:30.000 Now, we got two more games on Sunday.

00:07:32.000 So, we got a hotel.

00:07:34.000 I didn't want to get a hotel at Oceans. 0.99

00:07:35.000 I'm going to be at Oceans in August, but I didn't want to go there because all the other parents were in fucking. 0.99

00:07:41.000 Harris. 1.00

00:07:41.000 So I said, fuck it. 1.00

00:07:42.000 I don't want to be that guy. 1.00

00:07:44.000 I'll stay at Harris with you. 0.96

00:07:46.000 So the game ended, and my wife had to drive the kids somewhere.

00:07:49.000 And I go, you know what?

00:07:50.000 Because every weekend, when I go on those little trips, I go to a weed store.

00:07:54.000 Like last week, I went into one in Trenton.

00:07:56.000 Dog, this was a block from the state capitol.

00:07:59.000 You could see the dome. 0.95

00:08:01.000 The black guy called me back and he goes, No, no, no, I got a secret place in the back.

00:08:04.000 He had mushrooms, mushroom chocolate. 0.71

00:08:06.000 Don't say this.

00:08:07.000 You're going to get in trouble. 1.00

00:08:08.000 Dog, there's 18 stores in fucking, you know, you got to figure it out. 0.99

00:08:13.000 I'm not ratting nobody out. 0.99

00:08:14.000 They know what's going on, the cops.

00:08:16.000 They got a back, I mean, they had packaged mushrooms, all different flavors, blue, white, the whole thing.

00:08:21.000 This week I go to Atlantic City.

00:08:22.000 I go to this one, Everreld, whatever.

00:08:24.000 It's supposed to be the big one.

00:08:26.000 The big one.

00:08:27.000 The big weed store in Atlantic City.

00:08:28.000 And it's right.

00:08:29.000 By the casino.

00:08:30.000 So as I pull up, I park my car in front. 0.99

00:08:33.000 As I walk out, there's four yoked brothers, yoked with gold chains on in one of those fucking suburban millionaire cars. 0.99

00:08:41.000 What do you call the big truck? 0.99

00:08:42.000 Escalades?

00:08:43.000 The one that looks like they're attacking your town.

00:08:43.000 No, the other one.

00:08:46.000 Not the.

00:08:46.000 Oh, AMG?

00:08:47.000 G Wagons? 1.00

00:08:48.000 I don't fucking know. 1.00

00:08:49.000 Anyway, they're in there bumping shit, and they see me and they go, Yo, we know you. 0.99

00:08:55.000 And I go, Yeah, what up, brother? 0.99

00:08:56.000 Hold on.

00:08:56.000 I'll catch you on the way out.

00:08:57.000 I thought by the time I got out, they would leave.

00:09:00.000 So I went in, I come on, they're all outside their cars.

00:09:00.000 Right.

00:09:04.000 All four brothers, yo, big gold chains, like, yo, you're the motherfucker that goes on Rogan. 1.00

00:09:09.000 Nah, that's the motherfucker from The Longest Yard. 1.00

00:09:11.000 We looked you up. 1.00

00:09:13.000 So they're talking to me, talking to me, talking.

00:09:15.000 We're rocking and rolling.

00:09:16.000 Rogan, the UFC.

00:09:18.000 Yo, what do you think about that?

00:09:19.000 And I'm loving it. 1.00

00:09:20.000 But in the middle of all this, this black little homeless crackhead walks his way over, and I can hear him ask the other guy, who's this white motherfucker? 1.00

00:09:29.000 And the black guy goes, that's the dude from The Longest Yard. 1.00

00:09:32.000 You know, the football movie.

00:09:34.000 The black guy comes over and I see him walk right over me.

00:09:37.000 He goes, Hey, Mr. Football Man, why don't you break out a dollar for me? 0.99

00:09:40.000 He just bummed me out a dollar.

00:09:42.000 I had to give him 10. 0.97

00:09:44.000 I was so fucking embarrassed. 0.98

00:09:46.000 Why don't you break out a dollar for me, Mr. Football Star? 0.98

00:09:50.000 I gave him a 10. 1.00

00:09:50.000 This motherfucker ran. 1.00

00:09:51.000 He walked up with a limp, but he ran away. 1.00

00:09:54.000 Like he was going right for crack. 1.00

00:09:55.000 I'm like, These motherfuckers, they got a game for everything. 1.00

00:09:58.000 I love it. 1.00

00:09:58.000 I love all that shit, Joe. 1.00

00:10:00.000 It's fun to be around wacky people every now and then. 1.00

00:10:02.000 Just people living on the edge.

00:10:04.000 But that Atlantic City outside those casinos, bro. 1.00

00:10:07.000 That shit's real. 0.99

00:10:08.000 I saw a drug transaction right on the street when we were down there last. 1.00

00:10:12.000 Bro, I'm surprised you didn't see a hooker get mugged or something like that. 0.99

00:10:16.000 They are not fucking around. 0.99

00:10:17.000 I took a ride Saturday night about 10. 0.99

00:10:19.000 Just take a little ride.

00:10:21.000 Bro, you make a ride in some of those corners, you ain't coming back.

00:10:21.000 Sketchy, dude.

00:10:24.000 And I thought by now that at least build up the outside of AC.

00:10:28.000 No, it's barely making money.

00:10:31.000 You know, AC doesn't do well, not like Vegas does.

00:10:35.000 Like, AC's got some nice spots.

00:10:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:10:38.000 You can go there and have a good time, but it's not like it's going to grow. 1.00

00:10:40.000 You go to Borgata with the Italians and shit? 1.00

00:10:42.000 The outside's too sketch. 1.00

00:10:44.000 The Borgata, all the Italians go down with their white shoes on the week. 1.00

00:10:47.000 Hey, it's got old. 1.00

00:10:48.000 But no, I don't like the Borgata that much.

00:10:48.000 What up?

00:10:52.000 I like the couple hotels down there.

00:10:53.000 There's some nice places.

00:10:54.000 Yeah, we stayed in the Borgata when it first opened, you and I. You had a gig there.

00:10:58.000 That's right.

00:10:58.000 You had a gig there.

00:10:59.000 The thing is, it's not going to grow like Vegas is.

00:11:04.000 Vegas is crazy.

00:11:05.000 See, Vegas had a head start.

00:11:08.000 If they tried to make Vegas now, ooh, tough sell.

00:11:10.000 Tough sell.

00:11:12.000 Too many places to go.

00:11:13.000 You can gamble everywhere.

00:11:14.000 You can gamble on your phone now.

00:11:15.000 But when Vegas was first, there was no casinos in the country, dog.

00:11:20.000 It was just Vegas.

00:11:21.000 And I wonder if they made some sort of a deal. 0.89

00:11:25.000 Well, let them blow off atomic bombs.

00:11:27.000 They blow off these atomic bombs, and then we'll, you know, we'll put the casinos in.

00:11:32.000 What's the difference?

00:11:33.000 But then we looked it up, and it turned out they made Vegas before the atomic bomb. 0.78

00:11:33.000 We'll blow myself up. 0.78

00:11:39.000 So I'm like, well, what?

00:11:40.000 I guess it was just gangsters.

00:11:42.000 They just.

00:11:43.000 Bribed people or convinced people.

00:11:45.000 There was nothing going on there.

00:11:46.000 It was a pit stop.

00:11:47.000 They opened up Vegas for a pit stop for American soldiers to stop on the way or something like that.

00:11:53.000 Well, was it in the 30s, right?

00:11:55.000 Was it the 30s, Jamie?

00:11:56.000 Didn't the guy that owned the comedy store.

00:11:58.000 When Vegas was created.

00:12:00.000 Yeah, didn't the guy that owned the comedy store.

00:12:02.000 He was in charge of Vegas.

00:12:04.000 And he robbed and they shot him.

00:12:05.000 Same guy as the comedy store.

00:12:06.000 Same guy as the comedy store. 1.00

00:12:08.000 He's a fucking genius. 1.00

00:12:08.000 He was in charge. 1.00

00:12:09.000 That motherfucker was a genius. 1.00

00:12:11.000 Well, he got shot because he stole at the end the expenses and. 1.00

00:12:15.000 Oh, is that what it was?

00:12:16.000 The casinos.

00:12:17.000 You know, he gave.

00:12:18.000 In those days, they borrowed money from the unions in Chicago.

00:12:23.000 And then you borrowed that and you worked off those Teamster loans, those Jimmy Hoffa loans.

00:12:29.000 So, you had to build on those.

00:12:30.000 Well, the expenses never stopped. 0.99

00:12:32.000 And they were like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:12:32.000 Right. 0.99

00:12:34.000 And he was hanging out with Jane Seymour or something, going back and forth like a millionaire, like a movie star, and they and Legging, they shot him.

00:12:40.000 That's why they shot him?

00:12:41.000 They shot him in his house, in his eyeball or something.

00:12:41.000 I think so.

00:12:43.000 Yeah, in his eyeball.

00:12:44.000 Something like that.

00:12:45.000 I remember that.

00:12:46.000 Yeah, it was a picture of his dead body, allegedly, online.

00:12:48.000 In L.A., right?

00:12:49.000 Yeah.

00:12:50.000 They shot him in L.A.

00:12:51.000 So, that was all because of the casinos, huh?

00:12:51.000 Yeah.

00:12:54.000 But then they made it, you know, it's like when we first went to Denver.

00:12:57.000 The money was too good. 0.99

00:12:58.000 I don't give a fuck if it's Jesus and his three disciples. 0.99

00:13:01.000 They're going to take that envelope. 0.99

00:13:02.000 It's too good.

00:13:03.000 Well, you know what it was going on in the beginning.

00:13:05.000 They weren't allowed to use credit cards.

00:13:07.000 Everything had to be cash.

00:13:08.000 And it was crazy.

00:13:08.000 Cash, yeah.

00:13:09.000 So these guys were leaving the fucking. 0.99

00:13:11.000 And they bring like six special forces guys with them. 1.00

00:13:15.000 They'd have fucking Green Berets and Navy SEALs and shit, like armed to the tits because they're transferring millions of dollars in cash. 1.00

00:13:23.000 There's no job. 1.00

00:13:24.000 The whole thing was nuts, man.

00:13:25.000 There's no job.

00:13:26.000 It was nuts.

00:13:26.000 I read this story about the dilemma.

00:13:29.000 Like these people are making all this money.

00:13:31.000 And the crazy thing is, the state was making all that money too because the taxes on the legal weed.

00:13:38.000 It's amazing.

00:13:38.000 Look this up, please.

00:13:39.000 I think it was like 39%. 0.99

00:13:41.000 It's fucking crazy. 0.99

00:13:42.000 And everybody was like, sure. 1.00

00:13:44.000 Like, you would never accept 39% on alcohol.

00:13:47.000 You'd never accept 39% on ground beef.

00:13:49.000 No.

00:13:49.000 But 39% on weed, you're like, I'll take it.

00:13:52.000 During the pandemic in LA, you had to buy an extra tax to go open.

00:13:55.000 That's why they called them, what do they call those businesses that had to be open?

00:14:00.000 Dispensaries?

00:14:01.000 They're businesses that they had a purpose to be open during the pandemic.

00:14:01.000 No, no, no.

00:14:05.000 Essentials.

00:14:05.000 Oh, right.

00:14:06.000 Essentials.

00:14:06.000 Yeah.

00:14:07.000 They made that essential, but they charged an extra 10% tax.

00:14:11.000 They're making so much money off weed in California.

00:14:13.000 But now look at all the weed stores.

00:14:15.000 They're starting to close.

00:14:16.000 Are they? 0.99

00:14:17.000 And in Jersey, they created a dilemma because the state convinced them that they had to build and all this shit. 0.88

00:14:22.000 So all these places started, you know, you're opening up a shop minus 3 mil. 0.94

00:14:27.000 Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get the 3 mil.

00:14:32.000 A lot.

00:14:32.000 And not only that, there's a lot of competition.

00:14:34.000 And how many weed stores are in L.A.?

00:14:36.000 It's.

00:14:36.000 Bananas.

00:14:37.000 Bro, in Englestown, New Jersey, there's four of them, and here's where it gets better.

00:14:40.000 They're all on the same block.

00:14:42.000 Wow.

00:14:43.000 Did you ever go to that place in Inglewood with me back when it was only medical?

00:14:47.000 The Inglewood Wellness Center?

00:14:48.000 Where you used to get the lollipops.

00:14:49.000 Yeah.

00:14:50.000 Yes.

00:14:50.000 Yeah, I went there one time with you.

00:14:51.000 You know, the guy that ran that got shot.

00:14:54.000 That dude that we used to deal with, he got shot in that store.

00:14:57.000 They killed him?

00:14:58.000 No, I think he lived.

00:15:01.000 I'm not sure, though.

00:15:01.000 Look that up.

00:15:02.000 He might have died.

00:15:03.000 Yeah, that's the first place you had the lollipops from, on Fear Factor.

00:15:06.000 Yes.

00:15:07.000 It was from that guy.

00:15:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:08.000 Inglewood Wellness Center.

00:15:09.000 That was in the 90s.

00:15:11.000 That was in the days where it was legal if you had a medical reason, and any medical reason would do.

00:15:18.000 Oh, my feet hurt. 0.89

00:15:19.000 Get in there.

00:15:20.000 Sign them up.

00:15:21.000 But anybody who does martial arts has the pain excuse because everybody's in pain, and it does help you with pain.

00:15:30.000 If you could take aspirin, THC, like gummies with CBD, are phenomenal for aches and pains, man.

00:15:38.000 You remember Dave Foley?

00:15:39.000 Yeah.

00:15:40.000 Dave Foley's hand, of course you do.

00:15:42.000 Dave Foley's hand was all. 0.98

00:15:44.000 Fucked up from arthritis. 0.77

00:15:45.000 He started taking CBD and now his hand is full functioning. 0.99

00:15:49.000 I believe in.

00:15:49.000 CBD is amazing.

00:15:51.000 They just blew it up out of content a couple years ago.

00:15:53.000 Well, who knows who's making it and what the quality is.

00:15:56.000 But no, it is. 1.00

00:15:57.000 That's the thing when things are gray, you get a bunch of douchebags making stuff.

00:16:02.000 You know, I used to have a bit about that, about the gummy bears.

00:16:04.000 Like, they're not making these gummy bears in the same labs where they're making Tylenol.

00:16:08.000 They're very inconsistent.

00:16:10.000 You get one of them, you swear it's 1,000 milligrams, and the other one feels like it's like 100.

00:16:14.000 They barely make sense back in the day, back in, you know, when it was the Wild West.

00:16:18.000 So I got some 500 milligrams in my pocket.

00:16:20.000 They feel like 500 milligrams.

00:16:23.000 Well, now I don't think you can do that anymore.

00:16:25.000 I'm talking about like way back in the day.

00:16:27.000 It was different because way back in the day, there was like, it was the Wild West. 0.99

00:16:32.000 First of all, way back in the day, they didn't put warnings on this shit. 0.99

00:16:34.000 No, no warnings. 0.99

00:16:35.000 So you know how many milligrams were in this stuff.

00:16:37.000 And I remember eating a brownie one time and flying up to Pittsburgh in my red eye, and my leg wouldn't stop tapping. 0.98

00:16:43.000 Like it wouldn't stop fucking tapping. 0.98

00:16:45.000 I remember one time we were on a plane and you had a panic attack, and then you waited like an hour later and then popped two more. 0.99

00:16:53.000 I was like, how are you doing that?

00:16:53.000 Yeah.

00:16:55.000 You're like, Joe Rogan, I almost got off the plane.

00:16:57.000 I couldn't take it.

00:16:59.000 I couldn't breathe. 1.00

00:17:00.000 My fucking heart was closing. 1.00

00:17:01.000 It was like my chest was closing in on me. 1.00

00:17:03.000 The walls were closing in.

00:17:04.000 I thought the plane was going to crash.

00:17:06.000 I was freaking out. 0.99

00:17:07.000 I almost had to turn the fucking plane around. 0.99

00:17:08.000 Oh, you have no idea. 0.99

00:17:09.000 But I'm back, baby.

00:17:10.000 You just popped two more.

00:17:11.000 You have no idea what I put myself through over the years.

00:17:14.000 Why do you do that?

00:17:15.000 Because I just want to take a chance.

00:17:16.000 Columbus did.

00:17:18.000 I'm sitting at home.

00:17:19.000 It's 2 in the afternoon. 1.00

00:17:20.000 You're bored as shit. 1.00

00:17:23.000 You're like, let's see what happens. 1.00

00:17:24.000 And the only thing that would hold me back is if I had a spot that night.

00:17:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:28.000 Then I would tame it and be like a couple hundred milligrams.

00:17:31.000 You don't want to go up on stage with too much edible.

00:17:34.000 Yes, you do.

00:17:35.000 Sometimes you need to.

00:17:36.000 It's important.

00:17:39.000 Sometimes.

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00:18:34.000 Sometimes it's important to go off into the woods, right?

00:18:36.000 Yeah.

00:18:37.000 Sometimes you just stay on the trail.

00:18:38.000 Yeah, but listen, man.

00:18:39.000 Pen, you're filming a special, stay on the trail.

00:18:41.000 Last week I went to do a spot.

00:18:42.000 I figured, let me wait five weeks.

00:18:44.000 I haven't been on stage since April 18th.

00:18:46.000 Let me go do a spot.

00:18:48.000 I'm nervous.

00:18:49.000 I get down there, there's 50 people.

00:18:51.000 Perfect.

00:18:52.000 Break my cherry, do it.

00:18:55.000 I got into such a groove, I ended up doing an hour.

00:18:57.000 That was because the edible I took before I went on stage.

00:18:59.000 No material.

00:19:00.000 I told you that.

00:19:01.000 I got nothing.

00:19:02.000 Right.

00:19:02.000 That's it.

00:19:03.000 I'm starting over from scratch.

00:19:04.000 Got nothing.

00:19:05.000 I talked about going to the hospital, and then it just became something else.

00:19:09.000 And at the end, I was up there an hour.

00:19:10.000 Wow. 0.99

00:19:11.000 My leg was starting to fucking throb. 0.98

00:19:13.000 Did you film it, a recorder or anything? 0.98

00:19:14.000 No.

00:19:15.000 I didn't know it was going to be gold.

00:19:17.000 Right, right.

00:19:18.000 But that's why THC, somebody said THC is like a banned substance for comics.

00:19:25.000 Because if you really let it absorb you, and I'm not telling you to smoke pop, but I had an audition.

00:19:31.000 Whenever I have an audition, I read it, I put it away.

00:19:35.000 I get stoned and then I go back and I look at it again, complete different sheet.

00:19:40.000 Now I can pick out things, now I can point.

00:19:43.000 Then I leave it again, I get high and I come back like an hour later.

00:19:46.000 And that's what I think THC makes me just realize.

00:19:49.000 Look, I live in anxiety naturally.

00:19:52.000 Naturally, I beat myself up.

00:19:54.000 This morning, it's 8 30.

00:19:55.000 I'm drinking coffee outside the Four Seasons.

00:19:57.000 I'm like, why am I heart beating?

00:19:59.000 Because I thought I had somewhere to go.

00:20:01.000 I got nowhere to go.

00:20:03.000 You just gave yourself anxiety for no reason. 0.96

00:20:04.000 Yeah, because I always think I got somewhere to fucking go at 10 in the morning. 0.96

00:20:08.000 That's why when my daughter gets on that bus to school at 7 15, I start blasting. 0.95

00:20:13.000 Because then I know I ain't got nowhere to go.

00:20:15.000 Like, you know, you make a list every day and you go, this is what I'm going to do today. 0.87

00:20:19.000 And then you fucking, you know, Wake up and you look at that list after you smoke, and you're like, That's a long drive up to New York City today. 0.91

00:20:28.000 I ain't doing that podcast. 1.00

00:20:29.000 You know, that's a fucking long drive up into that motherfucker. 1.00

00:20:35.000 Yeah, the driving in New York is not a joke. 1.00

00:20:37.000 That's an endeavor.

00:20:38.000 Yeah, no.

00:20:39.000 You got to take a day.

00:20:40.000 Like, that's your day.

00:20:41.000 Your day is driving in and driving out.

00:20:43.000 You're not going to the gym.

00:20:44.000 You're not doing all that other stuff.

00:20:46.000 No, I'm saying if you've got to drive into New Jersey, that's your day.

00:20:46.000 Really?

00:20:50.000 It's not like, Oh, I'll go there.

00:20:52.000 That's at noon.

00:20:53.000 I'll hit the gym at 2 30.

00:20:54.000 Uh uh.

00:20:55.000 No, you'll be in traffic for a Three hours.

00:20:57.000 For three hours. 0.99

00:20:59.000 I always go to do that shit early and get it over with. 0.99

00:21:02.000 Like on days that I have to go to the city up north, I'll just take that as a day off. 0.99

00:21:07.000 Like I'll work that day before so I could go up there comfortably and not sweat it.

00:21:11.000 But it's got some days I get up and I'm like, I'm not going up there.

00:21:14.000 I got to work out today. 0.98

00:21:15.000 Listen, this is one of the big things that Texas has, or Austin has in particular, over the East Coast the fucking traffic. 0.98

00:21:23.000 The traffic here is a joke. 0.97

00:21:24.000 They talk about traffic, it's adorable.

00:21:27.000 You might be 10 extra minutes.

00:21:29.000 Whoop de doo.

00:21:30.000 It's adorable.

00:21:32.000 Occasionally a car accident happens and there's a bunch of people stopped. 0.99

00:21:36.000 That shit happens everywhere in the world. 0.99

00:21:37.000 But for the most part, the East Coast is so thick with people. 1.00

00:21:43.000 You don't realize it until you have to make that trip to New Jersey and back and forth.

00:21:49.000 You know, when we do the UFCs, if we go into New Jersey to the UFC and then with the weigh ins, then we have to go back to New York to play pool.

00:21:56.000 Oh, at 6 o'clock.

00:21:57.000 That's pool.

00:21:58.000 Oh, my God.

00:21:59.000 It's crazy. 1.00

00:22:00.000 Go to New York to eat and to play pool, and it's fucking, it's a madhouse. 1.00

00:22:04.000 Think about it what it was like the last two weeks. 1.00

00:22:07.000 Jim Laurentine said he went into the city Saturday. 0.99

00:22:09.000 It was three hours because of the Nick bullshit. 0.99

00:22:12.000 And they weren't even playing. 0.99

00:22:14.000 They weren't even playing.

00:22:16.000 People were so upset that Trump was going to go to the NBA because if he's there, then they have all these crazy security protocols.

00:22:23.000 It makes the traffic even worse.

00:22:25.000 There was no parties.

00:22:26.000 There was no nothing.

00:22:27.000 He should stick to the UFC.

00:22:29.000 They're going to boo him everywhere else.

00:22:30.000 Oh, they booed him to.

00:22:31.000 I didn't watch.

00:22:32.000 I was out of the bag.

00:22:32.000 The whole game.

00:22:33.000 Some people cheered.

00:22:34.000 I heard it was like cheers and booze, but the problem is if there's cheers and any booze, if there's like 50 50, like that's.

00:22:43.000 Don't go to that spot.

00:22:45.000 Go to the UFC.

00:22:46.000 People say he got booed at the UFC.

00:22:47.000 I've seen him at the UFC six times or something like that.

00:22:51.000 I don't know how many times.

00:22:52.000 Never get booed.

00:22:53.000 They love him.

00:22:54.000 He's never gotten booed. 1.00

00:22:54.000 They fucking cheer. 1.00

00:22:55.000 The people that say they're booing him, you're distorting reality. 1.00

00:22:59.000 It's not true.

00:23:00.000 They cheer him like he walks in there to the American badass song.

00:23:04.000 Especially if Kid Rock is with him and Dana White's behind him.

00:23:07.000 And then sometimes Tucker Carlson was there too, back when they were close.

00:23:12.000 It was like the conservative Avengers. 0.94

00:23:13.000 It was like, this is ridiculous. 0.99

00:23:16.000 He was the kiss of death last night. 0.99

00:23:17.000 I bet against the Knicks last night. 1.00

00:23:18.000 Me and Jamie, we were like, fuck that. 1.00

00:23:21.000 Getting two and a half? 1.00

00:23:22.000 Why are they only giving two and a half?

00:23:23.000 They're up two scams. 1.00

00:23:25.000 What are you, a retard? 1.00

00:23:26.000 Two and a half they were giving last night. 1.00

00:23:28.000 Everybody and their mother, even fucking your daughter, bet the Knicks last night, giving two and a half. 0.99

00:23:34.000 Sports all the time? 1.00

00:23:36.000 How often do you bet?

00:23:38.000 This type of the year, I bet basketball because it's real.

00:23:41.000 There's defense.

00:23:43.000 Do you use an app?

00:23:44.000 DraftKings.

00:23:45.000 You do it on DraftKings.

00:23:45.000 DraftKings?

00:23:46.000 Everything is on DraftKings.

00:23:47.000 You don't have a bookie?

00:23:49.000 No.

00:23:50.000 No.

00:23:51.000 I enjoy it because DraftKings has so many fun.

00:23:53.000 Like, there's bookies out there.

00:23:55.000 Like, they just keep busting these mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 0.99

00:23:58.000 39 people had the big bust last year with the basketball coaches that they put the cards up, and you could see through the fucking cards on the table. 1.00

00:24:07.000 It's gambling has grown to a fucking nightmare. 0.99

00:24:10.000 We're going to pay for this in five years. 0.98

00:24:12.000 But when I went to college after orientation, you walked out, and there were credit card companies Discover, MasterCard, Visa, and they give you a credit card for being a student for $250, automatic, right there.

00:24:25.000 And now, when you go to those orientation days, DraftKings is there.

00:24:29.000 You know, the other ones, FanDuel's there.

00:24:31.000 And I'm not putting them down.

00:24:32.000 I love DraftKings.

00:24:33.000 But you're copping these kids. 1.00

00:24:35.000 These kids don't have enough problems with fucking student loans. 1.00

00:24:38.000 Right. 1.00

00:24:39.000 Now I'm going to put a fucking thing. 0.99

00:24:41.000 More people are gambling more than ever. 0.99

00:24:43.000 Than ever.

00:24:44.000 Than ever.

00:24:44.000 In Australia, too.

00:24:46.000 My buddy McCann, you know James McCann.

00:24:47.000 Yeah, ever.

00:24:48.000 He was talking about how crazy it is in Australia.

00:24:51.000 Yeah, it's what's the odds on the Ilya Taporia, Justin Gaichi fight?

00:24:57.000 At the White House to pick him is no, no, Taporia has to be a huge favorite.

00:25:05.000 I guarantee Taporia is two to one, four to one.

00:25:09.000 Yeah, oh my god, four to one's crazy.

00:25:12.000 Two to one.

00:25:14.000 If you just think about what he's done in his last three fights, he's had the most legendary run in MMA championship history in his last three fights.

00:25:22.000 He knocked out three all time greats, knocks out Alexander Volkanovsky, knocks out Max Holloway, knocks out Charles Oliveira.

00:25:32.000 Three in a row. 0.89

00:25:33.000 Like anybody who could do that, you go, I'm not fucking betting anything against that guy. 0.87

00:25:38.000 But Justin Gaetje's a tough character, son. 0.90

00:25:42.000 A tough character.

00:25:43.000 So if I bet $25 on Gaeje, I win 100.

00:25:48.000 100. 0.95

00:25:48.000 Four to one. 0.95

00:25:49.000 Yeah.

00:25:49.000 Four to one.

00:25:50.000 Yeah.

00:25:51.000 Which is, look, it's minus 426 for Toporio.

00:25:56.000 They're like, four to one's not enough.

00:25:57.000 Caesar says 600.

00:25:58.000 Caesar says 600.

00:26:00.000 Caesar's is smart.

00:26:03.000 But the thing is, man, don't think that Justin Gaetje can't win.

00:26:07.000 Like anybody can lose in an MMA fight.

00:26:09.000 People get hit.

00:26:11.000 Like in Ilya Zaporia, one of his early fights, I think his first fight in the UFC at lightweight, he took it on short notice and he fought this dude, Jai Herbert, who's a really tall, really good striker.

00:26:24.000 And Jai Herbert caught him with a head kick in the first round, a switch kick to the dome that dropped him.

00:26:31.000 It was perfect, but he recovered brilliant.

00:26:34.000 He got a hold of him, took him to the ground, recovered, and then came back and Devastating knockout in the second round. 0.98

00:26:41.000 Like, he fucking puts people into orbit, man. 0.99

00:26:44.000 His power is crazy. 0.99

00:26:46.000 He's not a big guy either, man.

00:26:48.000 Justin's a much bigger guy than him.

00:26:51.000 But the way he knocks guys out, it's just dead.

00:26:54.000 He knocks them out dead.

00:26:56.000 But so does Gaichi. 0.98

00:26:58.000 People forget it. 1.00

00:26:59.000 Gaichi's a fucking Warhammer, dude. 0.99

00:27:02.000 That guy loves battles. 0.99

00:27:04.000 I'm just saying, this is not, I don't think.

00:27:04.000 He loves it.

00:27:06.000 It's a tough fight, man. 1.00

00:27:07.000 It's a tough fucking fight. 0.99

00:27:08.000 I could both, and this is this Sunday, right? 0.99

00:27:10.000 Correct?

00:27:10.000 It's this Sunday.

00:27:11.000 Gaichi's bigger.

00:27:12.000 You're going. 1.00

00:27:13.000 So, fuck yeah, I'm going. 0.99

00:27:14.000 So, Gaichi's bigger. 0.99

00:27:16.000 Gaichi used to fight at, what was it called?

00:27:20.000 The IFL?

00:27:21.000 Whatever the organization was before he came to the UFC.

00:27:25.000 I think it was before the PFL.

00:27:28.000 It was like another one.

00:27:30.000 But, what was it?

00:27:31.000 What did he, what was the organization?

00:27:33.000 You know, there's these feeder organizations like the PFL.

00:27:36.000 A lot of really good fighters that wind up becoming champions.

00:27:38.000 Yeah.

00:27:39.000 Start out there.

00:27:41.000 Was that it?

00:27:42.000 World Series of Fighting.

00:27:43.000 That's what it was.

00:27:43.000 That's right.

00:27:44.000 And, I mean, he was fucking people up with leg kicks, but it was the way he was fighting. 0.97

00:27:50.000 Would just throw himself into chaos. 0.90

00:27:53.000 Like, he didn't fight tactically at all back then.

00:27:56.000 No.

00:27:57.000 You ever see the Michael Johnson fight with him in the UFC?

00:28:00.000 A long time, yeah, yeah.

00:28:00.000 It's his first fight in the UFC.

00:28:02.000 It's one of the craziest fucking fights ever because he just fucking throws himself at Michael Johnson. 0.98

00:28:09.000 And Michael Johnson throws himself right back and moves up. 0.99

00:28:12.000 They got hurt.

00:28:13.000 Both guys got cracked.

00:28:14.000 It was a crazy fight.

00:28:16.000 But eventually, Justin got him.

00:28:17.000 But it was the way he fought, you're like, good lord.

00:28:20.000 Yeah, he fights like a pit bull.

00:28:22.000 Like a pit bull, like no concern for his safety, just dive in. 1.00

00:28:25.000 It was a fucking crazy fight. 1.00

00:28:27.000 And look how Dustin is always just trying to kill you. 1.00

00:28:31.000 He's always moving, look at that, every shot he's trying to fucking kill you. 1.00

00:28:35.000 He's always moving forward, trying to smash you. 0.99

00:28:38.000 And the thing is, he relishes this kind of combat so much that in the beginning, he lost some fights that he could have won if he tempered it.

00:28:47.000 And then he did.

00:28:48.000 And then when he went on this legendary run and started beating everybody, it's really because.

00:28:54.000 He controlled the violence a little bit more.

00:28:56.000 He controlled the chaos, but it was still like very technical violence. 0.91

00:29:00.000 It wasn't like he was brawling dumb.

00:29:03.000 He was just forcing himself into chaos so much. 0.77

00:29:07.000 He was throwing himself right into the fire over and over and over again. 1.00

00:29:11.000 This is a dangerous fucking guy. 1.00

00:29:13.000 He's a dangerous fucking guy for anybody. 1.00

00:29:17.000 I mean, he had hit Khabib, he hurt him with some calf kicks. 1.00

00:29:20.000 He could do that too.

00:29:21.000 He leg kicks you from inside the clinch.

00:29:25.000 One of the things that he does really well is from like, he could get you with like a collar tie and he's leg kicking you.

00:29:30.000 He gives him the finger and tells him to get up.

00:29:32.000 I mean, Michael Johnson's getting battered.

00:29:34.000 This is a tough fight for him.

00:29:35.000 At this point, we're in round two.

00:29:37.000 Look at that knee to the body. 0.95

00:29:40.000 Just everything's trying to kill you.

00:29:42.000 It's not like this tactical take a chance here, take a chance there.

00:29:47.000 No, everything's take a chance.

00:29:49.000 It's like from the very beginning of the fight.

00:29:51.000 And this is how he fights.

00:29:52.000 He eventually took him out.

00:29:53.000 But it was a crazy fight.

00:29:55.000 He fights like I told you Hagley used to fight.

00:29:58.000 They weren't thinking about brain damage.

00:30:00.000 Hagler, all those dudes were not thinking about that.

00:30:00.000 Right.

00:30:03.000 We were talking about that with football before.

00:30:06.000 You know what I just watched the other day?

00:30:08.000 Mustafa Hampshire.

00:30:09.000 Hagler versus Mustafa Hampshire.

00:30:11.000 Did they battle?

00:30:11.000 Woo.

00:30:12.000 Ooh, Hagler took him out.

00:30:14.000 But it was just Hagler in his prime.

00:30:17.000 He was beautiful up there, bro. 0.99

00:30:19.000 It was so fucking. 0.99

00:30:20.000 So good. 0.99

00:30:21.000 He was so good.

00:30:22.000 And he was so good at switching stances, man.

00:30:24.000 When no one was doing that back then.

00:30:26.000 Hagler would fight Southpaw. 0.82

00:30:27.000 He would fight Orthodox. 0.98

00:30:29.000 You didn't know where it was coming from. 1.00

00:30:29.000 Fuck you up. 1.00

00:30:29.000 He would fight. 1.00

00:30:31.000 And he could fight just as good Southpaw as he could Orthodox. 0.89

00:30:34.000 It was amazing.

00:30:36.000 It was an amazing fight to watch.

00:30:37.000 Like, God, that guy was great.

00:30:39.000 So disciplined.

00:30:41.000 Yeah, some good fights this week.

00:30:42.000 I'm excited for the card.

00:30:43.000 I thought it was Saturday.

00:30:45.000 Yeah, Jamie posted up that the Cyril Gahn Alex Pereira fight is the closest fight on the card in terms of odds.

00:30:51.000 It's like even odds.

00:30:52.000 And that's a.

00:30:55.000 Cyril Gahn's a tall order.

00:30:57.000 That's a tall order for your first heavyweight fight in the UFC.

00:30:59.000 Caesar says that as a pick 'em.

00:31:01.000 A pick 'em.

00:31:02.000 Yeah.

00:31:02.000 I would say it's a pick 'em.

00:31:04.000 I would say it's a pick them.

00:31:06.000 Cyril Gahn is really good.

00:31:08.000 And the thing about Cyril Gahn is the problems that he's had in fights or when guys take him down.

00:31:14.000 When guys stand with him, he is very tricky.

00:31:17.000 He's very slick.

00:31:19.000 He's very technical.

00:31:21.000 And he's very light on his feet for a big guy.

00:31:24.000 Like he moves really well.

00:31:26.000 Like one of the best movers in the heavyweight division for sure.

00:31:30.000 He's like dancing on his feet.

00:31:31.000 He also does a weird thing off his front leg.

00:31:34.000 He throws a front kick.

00:31:35.000 When he's standing sideways, like in a bladed stance like this, and he picks it up and twists it into your stomach, bang, like that.

00:31:44.000 It's weird. 0.89

00:31:45.000 It works.

00:31:46.000 Oh, no, it's a kick.

00:31:47.000 I mean, it's called a twisting kick.

00:31:49.000 It's just you don't ever see people throwing that kick from the front leg like he does.

00:31:49.000 Twisting kick.

00:31:54.000 Like, he does a lot of weird shit that you have to get used to. 0.96

00:31:59.000 Like, that Tom Aspinall fight, man, he was scoring very well on the feet. 0.98

00:32:03.000 And I know it got stopped because of the eye pokes.

00:32:05.000 But before the eye pokes, Cyril Gahn was doing very well on the feet against Aspinall.

00:32:10.000 And Aspinall's a big, fast heavyweight.

00:32:13.000 It's going to be interesting because I don't know if Pereira is going to have an issue with the movement.

00:32:20.000 You know, if he's going to be able to shut that movement down.

00:32:22.000 And I don't know if Cyril Gahn is going to be able to, like, if he's going to want to exchange with him.

00:32:27.000 He might feel that power and say, I'm just going to fight on the outside.

00:32:30.000 Because Pereira's got that, you make one mistake power.

00:32:35.000 He looks good at heavyweight.

00:32:36.000 He looks like he gained the weight.

00:32:38.000 He was yoked.

00:32:39.000 He's huge.

00:32:40.000 And on top of that, no dieting.

00:32:40.000 He looks great.

00:32:42.000 So no depleting of his body at all.

00:32:45.000 You're going to have a guy competing for the first time where he's never had to cut weight.

00:32:51.000 That's huge.

00:32:53.000 That's a giant advantage.

00:32:54.000 Not having to cut weight is like they let you take steroids.

00:32:57.000 You don't have to cut weight.

00:32:59.000 No cutting weight at all.

00:33:00.000 If they changed weight cutting, if they cut all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd have like 20% better performances.

00:33:06.000 People would be fighting so much better because they would feel so much healthier.

00:33:11.000 They would be so much more durable.

00:33:12.000 There wouldn't be as many like one shot knockouts where you're like, whoa, that got them.

00:33:17.000 Because a lot of these guys, their brain is still dehydrated when they're in there fighting.

00:33:21.000 It's only 24 hours after they rehydrate.

00:33:24.000 That's not enough time to get to the brain.

00:33:26.000 How do we go to.

00:33:27.000 Weigh in with you.

00:33:28.000 And these guys would come in like they're looking like they had cancer.

00:33:31.000 They look dead.

00:33:32.000 Yeah.

00:33:33.000 I would see them and then they would IV in the back.

00:33:35.000 Then I think they cut out IVs afterwards.

00:33:37.000 I remember being there with you and looking at these guys coming in.

00:33:37.000 They cut out IVs.

00:33:40.000 They were not. 1.00

00:33:41.000 They looked like they were on that fucking GLP for 10 years, like fucking Sharon Osborne's daughter. 1.00

00:33:47.000 I mean, they were looking fucked up, Jack. 1.00

00:33:49.000 Yeah, they looked dead. 0.99

00:33:50.000 Some guys looked real.

00:33:51.000 You remember when Anderson Silva fought Travis Luter?

00:33:53.000 Do you remember that fight?

00:33:54.000 Yeah, the Jiu Jitsu guy from Texas.

00:33:56.000 Exactly.

00:33:57.000 That was the worst I ever saw anybody at a weigh in.

00:33:57.000 Yes.

00:34:00.000 He looked really fucking sick. 0.99

00:34:01.000 And again, this was not the ceremonial weigh in like we have now. 0.99

00:34:04.000 This was like the actual weigh in, see if you can make the weight.

00:34:07.000 And Travis couldn't walk.

00:34:08.000 He was shuffling.

00:34:09.000 He couldn't pick his legs up.

00:34:11.000 His lips were cracked.

00:34:12.000 Like his body was dry as hell.

00:34:14.000 You can't be good for you.

00:34:14.000 Back out.

00:34:15.000 And then to pick it back up and then go throw rounds, throw punches at 8 o'clock the next night.

00:34:21.000 Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted, but he got a hold of Anderson the first round.

00:34:25.000 It took him down, and that's what he wanted to do.

00:34:27.000 And Travis was in Jiu Jitsu in Texas?

00:34:29.000 Yeah, he's some Kevin Holland's coach.

00:34:29.000 Yeah.

00:34:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:34:32.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:34:34.000 Travis is a bad motherfucker. 1.00

00:34:35.000 Travis was a bad motherfucker. 1.00

00:34:37.000 When guys rolled with him on the Ultimate Fighter, you know, one of the best compliments one of the guys said, he goes, dude, he goes, I've rolled with only a couple guys like that. 0.99

00:34:45.000 It's like him and Ricardo Laborio.

00:34:47.000 I go, really?

00:34:48.000 I go, that guy feels like Ricardo Laborio.

00:34:50.000 He's that level.

00:34:51.000 He goes, he's like, dude, he was running through people.

00:34:55.000 Just running through people on the ground.

00:34:57.000 Travis was a beast.

00:34:58.000 He was one of the first, like, truly elite.

00:35:00.000 Brazilian jiu jitsu black belts in like the modern era, like the Anderson Silva era.

00:35:05.000 Whereas when he got guys to the ground, you were in trouble.

00:35:08.000 You were in real trouble.

00:35:10.000 There's a few guys like Charles Oliveira is the big one.

00:35:12.000 Charles Oliveira puts people in positions.

00:35:14.000 They're like, oh no, what have I done?

00:35:16.000 Like, you think you're going to be comfortable, like in his guard, like pitch?

00:35:19.000 You're never going to be comfortable on the ground with Oliveira.

00:35:22.000 Oliveira is just so dangerous everywhere.

00:35:24.000 20 years of jiu jitsu, correct?

00:35:25.000 Yeah.

00:35:25.000 Oh, yeah.

00:35:26.000 They've been doing it since they were a kid.

00:35:27.000 Yep.

00:35:28.000 Almost like Cusco's stand up.

00:35:29.000 Great camp.

00:35:30.000 He's from that shoot the box camp.

00:35:31.000 I mean, that camp produced Anderson Silva.

00:35:36.000 Marie, Ninja, Shogun, like who else?

00:35:42.000 Pele, one of the original MMA fighters back in the bare knuckle days.

00:35:46.000 He was the top dude in the original days.

00:35:50.000 No, Noguera's not from Shoebox.

00:35:52.000 Noguera is a Carlson Gracie guy.

00:35:55.000 Those.

00:35:56.000 Was he? 0.98

00:35:56.000 He's a Carlson Gracie, right? 0.98

00:35:58.000 No.

00:35:59.000 Carlson's in Chicago? 0.81

00:36:01.000 No, Noguera wasn't Carlson Gracie.

00:36:03.000 Noguera was.

00:36:05.000 I don't want to get that wrong.

00:36:06.000 Who was Noguera's trainer?

00:36:09.000 Minotauro Noguera, his original jujitsu coach. 0.99

00:36:13.000 His fucking brother, probably. 0.99

00:36:15.000 No, both of them were elite. 1.00

00:36:17.000 They were twins.

00:36:18.000 They were twins, right?

00:36:19.000 Yeah, they were twins, and they were both elite.

00:36:20.000 They're both world class fighters in Pride.

00:36:26.000 Does it say his jiu jitsu coach?

00:36:31.000 Minotaur was the first, he was the first guy that was finishing elite guys off of his back in Pride.

00:36:40.000 He was tapping to, when he was the champion in Pride, you remember when he beat Bob Sapp?

00:36:46.000 No.

00:36:47.000 Bob Sapp was 350 pounds with abs.

00:36:51.000 And the fight was crazy. 0.99

00:36:53.000 He picks Minotauro up and spikes him on his head in the beginning of the fight. 0.98

00:36:57.000 Fucked his neck up for years. 0.99

00:36:59.000 Like his neck was fucked up after that fight and still survived and eventually caught Bob Sapp in an arm bar. 1.00

00:37:05.000 But it was bananas. 0.99

00:37:07.000 Omri Patech.

00:37:08.000 Okay, yeah, there you go.

00:37:10.000 Omri Patech is another guy who fought early in the UFC.

00:37:15.000 So that's his coach for one.

00:37:16.000 Where did he get his black belt?

00:37:18.000 Just see where he got his black belt from.

00:37:27.000 Just ask the question, who gave Minotauro his black belt?

00:37:37.000 Let me just say.

00:37:39.000 Okay, Ricardo De La Jiva.

00:37:43.000 That's his primary instructor.

00:37:47.000 There you go.

00:37:48.000 Okay.

00:37:49.000 Yeah, he was.

00:37:51.000 So we could figure out who invented the De La Jiva hook.

00:37:55.000 Probably.

00:37:56.000 There's a bunch of moves that are attributed to guys that it's not quite sure whether or not they invented it, but they were really good at it, you know?

00:38:05.000 How much fun is that getting somebody De La Jiva and faking them down?

00:38:08.000 I can't finish the leg lock.

00:38:08.000 It's fun.

00:38:10.000 I never could. 0.99

00:38:10.000 I'm fucking terrible. 0.99

00:38:11.000 I can't get my arms around it. 1.00

00:38:13.000 I'm fucking, my shoulders are fucked up. 0.99

00:38:15.000 Leg locks are scary. 1.00

00:38:17.000 Yeah, I don't like any of that shit. 1.00

00:38:18.000 You fuck them up. 1.00

00:38:19.000 You know, you twist the wrong way, you turn the wrong way, you hear things pop. 1.00

00:38:23.000 Ew.

00:38:24.000 Scary.

00:38:25.000 You still training?

00:38:26.000 No.

00:38:26.000 No more?

00:38:27.000 No, I haven't over a year.

00:38:28.000 I haven't done anything wrong.

00:38:30.000 I was for a while.

00:38:31.000 I got a knee problem.

00:38:32.000 It's much better now.

00:38:34.000 I've been really working on it over the last six months, but it kept swelling after a while.

00:38:38.000 The thing is, it would get better.

00:38:40.000 And it would feel pretty good.

00:38:42.000 And then I'd hurt it again.

00:38:44.000 And usually I heard it like a year ago hunting.

00:38:47.000 I twisted it hunting.

00:38:49.000 And then I've also heard it like hitting the bag too.

00:38:53.000 Like sometimes I just start wailing all the time.

00:38:55.000 You go back and you forget.

00:38:56.000 Yeah.

00:38:57.000 You forget. 0.99

00:38:57.000 And it's just the next day it's sore as fuck. 0.99

00:39:00.000 It's like I don't have meniscus on one part of my knee. 0.97

00:39:02.000 So I have to make sure that it doesn't get arthritic.

00:39:05.000 Because like I don't have to tell you.

00:39:05.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:07.000 Like once your knee gets bad, it's a real problem.

00:39:09.000 It's a problem.

00:39:10.000 And so you got to like.

00:39:12.000 Walk that edge between when you don't have cartilage or you don't have meniscus and your cartilage is getting bone on bone like that.

00:39:18.000 Like, you got to be careful.

00:39:20.000 You got to be careful. 0.99

00:39:21.000 They're getting real close to fixing shit. 0.99

00:39:24.000 Real close. 0.99

00:39:25.000 They're injecting like different kinds of gels in people's knees now that replace the meniscus.

00:39:31.000 And they're also doing some new stem cell therapy where they go into the bone itself and it regenerates cartilage.

00:39:35.000 Yeah, that would be better.

00:39:36.000 But that gel, they always work you with that gel.

00:39:39.000 I think it's a new one, Joey.

00:39:41.000 It's like a, they call it a biological matrix. 0.99

00:39:44.000 You need to fucking get like a. 0.97

00:39:46.000 You need to get like insurance approval and all that. 0.99

00:39:49.000 Yeah, I did it.

00:39:50.000 That's just all those things.

00:39:52.000 It's like when you see an ad for somebody.

00:39:54.000 Do you have problems sleeping?

00:39:56.000 Buy this mouthpiece for $29.99.

00:39:59.000 I don't think you got what they have now because this is just released in Germany.

00:40:04.000 This is brand new.

00:40:05.000 But this gel, like I'm just saying to you, the gel, the cortisol.

00:40:09.000 I have friends with knee problems.

00:40:11.000 And they tell me what they go through.

00:40:12.000 And they go to different doctors. 1.00

00:40:14.000 And it's the same fucking. 1.00

00:40:16.000 We got cortisol for you. 1.00

00:40:18.000 We got the gel.

00:40:20.000 We're not going to do the PRP and we don't do stem cell.

00:40:22.000 So you, Joe, regular, you don't do no reading. 0.97

00:40:26.000 This is what happened to me with the fucking why I did this surgery in the first place. 0.97

00:40:31.000 You had moved here and I didn't know about ways to well. 0.99

00:40:33.000 If not, I wouldn't have never cut this knee the first time.

00:40:36.000 Never.

00:40:37.000 Never. 0.99

00:40:38.000 I didn't read up on it because when my wife was pregnant, I read up on all that shit and I didn't want to have the baby no more because it said when Joe for 43, you'll die. 0.99

00:40:49.000 if you're giving birth, like if you're not ready when you get older as a woman, you know, now women are having kids of 50s and fucking 55s. 0.99

00:40:57.000 But a woman has to be, she has like a short window. 0.98

00:41:00.000 And they have a lot of things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. 1.00

00:41:00.000 Right. 1.00

00:41:04.000 When I read that, I got nervous for my wife. 1.00

00:41:05.000 I'm like, she's going to die on a fucking table. 1.00

00:41:08.000 And I'm stuck raising a girl. 1.00

00:41:09.000 I don't know how to fucking raise a girl. 0.99

00:41:10.000 You know, what am I going to do here? 0.99

00:41:12.000 So I didn't really, I researched it a little bit. 0.99

00:41:15.000 After I got the need, after I went and I saw the fucking, the chisel, and the fucking mallet on the table. 0.98

00:41:22.000 I go, we got to look into this when I get out of here. 1.00

00:41:25.000 Like, this is fucking insane. 0.98

00:41:26.000 I would have never done the redo knee. 1.00

00:41:29.000 I would have waited, shot it with stem cell, BPC'd it.

00:41:33.000 At that time, I was still a little fearful of needles. 0.99

00:41:36.000 So I was like, BPC, everything is, you got to shoot it.

00:41:39.000 You're fearful of needles, but not of a knee replacement. 0.99

00:41:42.000 No, bro, now I'm fine.

00:41:42.000 That's hilarious.

00:41:44.000 It took four stays in the hospital last year to fucking, like, go. 0.96

00:41:49.000 One day they had to come in and take blood out of me every 20 minutes for three hours. 0.94

00:41:53.000 Why?

00:41:54.000 It's that type of test.

00:41:55.000 They shoot you with something to see how you react to it.

00:41:57.000 Wow.

00:41:58.000 And, dog, I didn't faint one time.

00:42:00.000 I don't faint no more.

00:42:01.000 Like, last time I weighed too well.

00:42:03.000 I went in there hungover on those tequilas. 1.00

00:42:05.000 The mothership drinking that Ron White juice and shit. 1.00

00:42:09.000 I went in there with no breakfast, like, we need to take blood out within minutes. 1.00

00:42:12.000 I'm pale.

00:42:14.000 I'm sweating profusely. 0.99

00:42:15.000 They got to put ice on my back and on my neck and shit. 0.99

00:42:18.000 And when I did the, when they turned the switch off on your leg, what's that? 0.97

00:42:23.000 When you do that little before surgery, when I first hurt the knee, they said, We're not going to give you pain medication, but if you're really hurting that bad, come on down here and we'll give you a nerve block.

00:42:33.000 Oh, they give you a nerve block.

00:42:34.000 Joe Rogan. 1.00

00:42:35.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:42:36.000 Who did that? 1.00

00:42:37.000 Because the place where I went for surgery, the first time, there's shit. 0.99

00:42:37.000 Where'd they do that? 0.99

00:42:41.000 Uh-huh.

00:42:42.000 This place is specialized in all that stuff.

00:42:45.000 So they have their own therapy.

00:42:47.000 They have their own, like, the surgeons.

00:42:50.000 And then they have a pain department that they talk to you.

00:42:54.000 And they go, listen, you can take this.

00:42:55.000 You want it?

00:42:56.000 We'll give it to you.

00:42:57.000 But let's do this.

00:42:58.000 Let's try it with this. 1.00

00:42:59.000 You know, and I understand that people lose their minds on those fucking things. 0.99

00:42:59.000 They don't want you. 0.99

00:43:03.000 So I did the nerve block first, Joe. 1.00

00:43:06.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

00:43:08.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

00:43:09.000 And when I went to the doctor about a month ago, the girl was like, I was there that day. 1.00

00:43:14.000 When I fainted, she goes, You didn't faint, but you sure came close.

00:43:17.000 She goes, You lost all the color in your face.

00:43:19.000 It's crazy, Joey.

00:43:21.000 Had to drink water.

00:43:23.000 And then the epidural block.

00:43:25.000 You ever do one of those?

00:43:26.000 Well, no, I did when I got my knee surgery.

00:43:26.000 No.

00:43:28.000 Yeah, they always knee surge you. 1.00

00:43:30.000 I thought they put you out for those.

00:43:31.000 They did most of the time.

00:43:33.000 But my first ACL, I asked if I could watch.

00:43:36.000 And he said, You don't want to watch it?

00:43:39.000 I go, no, I do.

00:43:40.000 I don't want to, I only want to get this done once.

00:43:42.000 I want to see it.

00:43:43.000 Can I watch it?

00:43:43.000 Where'd you see it?

00:43:43.000 They shot in a nail on your spine.

00:43:46.000 Well, they shot it in my spine.

00:43:47.000 Right.

00:43:48.000 And so you don't feel anything in your legs.

00:43:50.000 And I watched him open my knee up and put it together again. 1.00

00:43:54.000 Fuck you, Joe. 1.00

00:43:56.000 That's not the epidural block. 1.00

00:43:59.000 I wanted to see.

00:44:00.000 I'm like, I don't want to do this once.

00:44:02.000 I didn't know that I was going to have another ACL surgery eight years ago.

00:44:05.000 So you didn't get put out for your surgery?

00:44:07.000 No, not the first one.

00:44:08.000 The second one I did.

00:44:11.000 That's insane, Joe. 1.00

00:44:12.000 That's fucking insane. 1.00

00:44:13.000 I love you, you zombo and shit, but. 1.00

00:44:16.000 I wanted to watch. 1.00

00:44:17.000 Nah, I want to watch a lot of things.

00:44:18.000 I want to see what it looks like because it's kind of crazy.

00:44:20.000 They're going to take your knee, take a slice out of your patella tendon along with a chunk of bone and a chunk of bone for your kneecap and then screw it back in place.

00:44:28.000 I'm like, this is crazy.

00:44:29.000 I want to watch.

00:44:31.000 Held up.

00:44:32.000 Still good.

00:44:33.000 The real problem was the meniscus.

00:44:35.000 So they didn't even take the meniscus out then.

00:44:38.000 They just stitched it up.

00:44:40.000 There was a tear in the meniscus, but it wasn't too bad and he thought it could heal.

00:44:44.000 You know, because I was in my 20s.

00:44:45.000 I was like 23, I think, 22.

00:44:48.000 And then over time, it just got wore out.

00:44:52.000 That tear became a bucket handle tear, and then it would lock.

00:44:57.000 So it would pull, the meniscus would pull up and like lock in place. 0.98

00:45:02.000 It was fucking insanely painful. 0.95

00:45:05.000 And I was like, this keeps happening. 0.98

00:45:06.000 It happened a couple of times.

00:45:08.000 It was like, it happened in jujitsu class, and Eddie Bravo had to take me to the doctor.

00:45:12.000 So Eddie Bravo had to drive my NSX.

00:45:14.000 We drove straight to the doctor.

00:45:16.000 And, you know, they tell me I need to get my meniscus removed.

00:45:20.000 I'm like, okay.

00:45:21.000 And then he told me I need to stop doing martial arts.

00:45:23.000 I was like, okay, that's cute.

00:45:25.000 That's the first thing they'll tell you.

00:45:26.000 Yeah.

00:45:27.000 You got to stop doing martial arts.

00:45:28.000 You blame everything.

00:45:29.000 No martial arts, no this. 1.00

00:45:31.000 And 30 years later, fuck you. 1.00

00:45:32.000 Can we get one of those Zins? 1.00

00:45:34.000 The medium ones. 0.97

00:45:34.000 Yeah, sure. 0.97

00:45:36.000 What are these?

00:45:36.000 These are Alps.

00:45:38.000 That's Tucker Carlson's one.

00:45:39.000 Those are good.

00:45:40.000 It's six milligrams.

00:45:42.000 These are threes.

00:45:43.000 This is athletic nicotine.

00:45:45.000 That's threes.

00:45:47.000 They don't make you jittery.

00:45:47.000 I like those.

00:45:50.000 Those take a hell of a hit.

00:45:51.000 Tucker likes them strong.

00:45:52.000 I like them, but I always swallow them by mistake. 1.00

00:45:56.000 Next thing I'm shitting pouches and shit. 0.99

00:45:59.000 They have focus ones? 0.99

00:46:01.000 Yeah, that's these, Ultras.

00:46:03.000 Yeah, I do the Ultras.

00:46:04.000 I don't have them in this room anymore.

00:46:06.000 I was doing those after I had the surgery.

00:46:08.000 Yeah, they are great.

00:46:08.000 Those are great.

00:46:09.000 There's a bunch of really good things for your focus. 0.99

00:46:11.000 People that think it's all bullshit, like that nootropics are bullshit, you're allowed to think whatever you want. 0.97

00:46:16.000 But trust me, from someone who uses his brain for a living, there's a difference between taking nootropics and not taking them. 0.99

00:46:24.000 It's not going to make you smarter, but it'll make your brain function at a better level. 0.99

00:46:28.000 There's a bunch of shit that works like that. 0.96

00:46:29.000 Like, you know, those ketone drinks, like Ketone IQ? 0.99

00:46:33.000 That helps a lot.

00:46:34.000 Really?

00:46:34.000 Yeah, your brain uses ketones.

00:46:36.000 Your brain uses ketones for focus.

00:46:38.000 That's why people that take ketogenic diets and go on a carnivore diet, they say it gives them more mental clarity.

00:46:43.000 You have more focus.

00:46:45.000 It's a fact.

00:46:46.000 I feel different when I'm eating clean.

00:46:49.000 If I'm eating carnivore, just eggs and steak, my brain works better.

00:46:53.000 100%.

00:46:54.000 It's just not processing the carbs and all the fog that comes with that.

00:46:58.000 Not that carbs are bad for you. 1.00

00:46:59.000 But when you take this stuff, this stuff is the shit. 1.00

00:47:03.000 This is my friend Derek's Gorilla Mind. 1.00

00:47:06.000 This is a nootropic drink.

00:47:08.000 Not quality.

00:47:08.000 It's an energy drink.

00:47:09.000 It's got some caffeine in it.

00:47:09.000 No.

00:47:11.000 It's got a.

00:47:11.000 Good amount of caffeine, but it's got a bunch of nootropics.

00:47:14.000 So there's a bunch of like brain vitamins in there.

00:47:16.000 You know anything about it?

00:47:16.000 Yeah, I'm not selling this.

00:47:17.000 This is my friends.

00:47:19.000 You know, I'm not a.

00:47:21.000 You know that I have a great memory with dates and I can take you to different situations.

00:47:25.000 Stories.

00:47:26.000 I don't know what happened the last three years.

00:47:30.000 How come?

00:47:30.000 If I talk to you on a Monday, which I usually do, you call me Mondays on the way home at six.

00:47:37.000 Whatever we talked about by Thursday, I don't remember.

00:47:41.000 Like you'll say, call me back. 0.99

00:47:42.000 When you find out, I'll fucking. 0.99

00:47:44.000 Forget now. 0.99

00:47:46.000 Like, just little things.

00:47:47.000 This is recent?

00:47:48.000 This is the last few years?

00:47:49.000 Last few years, I could see.

00:47:50.000 You know, you're 60. 1.00

00:47:52.000 A lot of shit changes. 0.99

00:47:54.000 You know, it's really weird. 0.99

00:47:56.000 Joe, I need eight now.

00:47:58.000 I need eight.

00:47:59.000 Sorry.

00:48:00.000 Eight what?

00:48:00.000 I need eight.

00:48:01.000 Hours of sleep.

00:48:02.000 Eight.

00:48:03.000 Solid.

00:48:03.000 I got the whoop.

00:48:04.000 I need it.

00:48:05.000 Makes a difference.

00:48:06.000 Six and a half?

00:48:06.000 Don't cut it.

00:48:07.000 Done.

00:48:08.000 Done.

00:48:09.000 I need eight now.

00:48:10.000 And don't get me started on an hour nap.

00:48:11.000 Well, an hour 15 nap at two or three o'clock in the afternoon.

00:48:15.000 If I get up in the morning, I get up at six. 0.98

00:48:17.000 So I put her on the bus.

00:48:19.000 I start smoking weed at nine.

00:48:20.000 I'm at a gym.

00:48:21.000 I'm doing something.

00:48:22.000 Boxing, PT, you know. 0.99

00:48:24.000 So by fucking two o'clock, dog, these days I walk in, there ain't no stopping. 0.99

00:48:30.000 There ain't no pissing. 0.99

00:48:32.000 I go right to the bed, put the mask on, and go right to sleep.

00:48:37.000 I mean, there's no thought.

00:48:37.000 Just like that.

00:48:38.000 There's no stop it.

00:48:41.000 What is that?

00:48:41.000 Monopoly?

00:48:42.000 Stop it, go, and get 200.

00:48:43.000 There ain't none of that.

00:48:45.000 I come in, I drop my bag, I pee, and I walk right upstairs, right to the bed. 0.98

00:48:49.000 I move the cat over, get the fuck over. 1.00

00:48:52.000 And I fucking put that mask on. 1.00

00:48:54.000 Does the cat cuddle with you while you're sleeping? 1.00

00:48:56.000 And he goes under the blank.

00:48:56.000 Oh, please.

00:48:57.000 She goes under the blank with me, too.

00:48:58.000 So it's perfect.

00:49:00.000 That's funny.

00:49:01.000 But, dog, it's not no more.

00:49:03.000 Like, I'm going to fly out early no more. 1.00

00:49:05.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:49:07.000 Yeah, you need a solid amount of sleep. 1.00

00:49:10.000 As you get older, it's even more important.

00:49:12.000 You know what else is really important?

00:49:13.000 Creatine.

00:49:14.000 I take 10 milligrams twice a day.

00:49:16.000 Beautiful.

00:49:18.000 That's phenomenal for your memory.

00:49:20.000 And that's a really good nootropic as well.

00:49:22.000 I don't like the gummies.

00:49:23.000 I never got them.

00:49:24.000 You had some gummies on here, wasn't it?

00:49:26.000 Yeah, I like them.

00:49:26.000 My neighbor gave them to me that you had them.

00:49:28.000 I prefer to just open it up and pour it in my mouth and then drink water.

00:49:31.000 Yeah, me too.

00:49:32.000 I like the powder too.

00:49:33.000 Yeah, I put like the 10 milligrams in my mouth and I just drink water.

00:49:37.000 You don't put it on your food, do you?

00:49:39.000 No.

00:49:39.000 I put it in a smoothie from time to time.

00:49:42.000 I like the raspberries with a cup of water.

00:49:44.000 The best way to make sure that I'm getting all 10 milligrams is to just pour it in my mouth and then drink water with it.

00:49:51.000 Because otherwise, it's in the glass and you've got to rinse the glass and get more of it in.

00:49:55.000 You know, you're giving yourself an exact dose.

00:49:58.000 Just put it in your mouth, dry scoop it.

00:49:59.000 So I just dry scoop it in my mouth and then pour the water in there.

00:50:02.000 That's how I do it most of the time.

00:50:04.000 What the gummies are really good for is if you forget and they're just laying around, you just eat a couple of gummies.

00:50:09.000 You know?

00:50:10.000 I don't know how many milligrams are in those, right? 0.99

00:50:11.000 You have to fucking bet. 0.99

00:50:13.000 I think two gummies is five milligrams. 0.99

00:50:16.000 I think that's what it is.

00:50:18.000 I also got turned on to a creatine company that has a creatine precursor.

00:50:22.000 Is that a creatine?

00:50:23.000 A precursor?

00:50:24.000 Creatine precursor.

00:50:25.000 I don't know what that is.

00:50:26.000 Your own body creates creatine on its own.

00:50:29.000 This helps the body.

00:50:32.000 I think it's called a precursor. 0.98

00:50:33.000 I don't fucking know. 0.98

00:50:33.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.98

00:50:34.000 Hey, did I say. 1.00

00:50:36.000 Just right off with a fucking. 1.00

00:50:37.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:50:38.000 I know that.

00:50:39.000 Because I'm saying it wrong, like Voltron. 0.97

00:50:41.000 I don't fucking know, guys. 0.93

00:50:42.000 I'm sure there's something. 0.95

00:50:44.000 I mean, there's always a bunch.

00:50:45.000 I mean, there's.

00:50:46.000 If you think about how many supplements are out there, like, good Lord, there's so many supplements.

00:50:51.000 And not all of them are good, but a lot of them are really good.

00:50:54.000 Here's another one that's really good for working out beta alanine.

00:50:56.000 You ever take that?

00:50:57.000 Phenomenal.

00:50:57.000 No.

00:50:58.000 Phenomenal.

00:50:59.000 Look, I take everything else.

00:51:00.000 It makes you tingle, though.

00:51:02.000 Makes your skin like itch.

00:51:04.000 You ever take iodine?

00:51:05.000 No.

00:51:06.000 Iodine.

00:51:06.000 Yeah, like there's a pill or something, you take iodine to help you.

00:51:09.000 You're supposed to do that if you get radiation poisoning.

00:51:11.000 Listen, when the first piss test came out, they said you would take iodine.

00:51:16.000 So again. 1.00

00:51:16.000 Did you put Clorox in your dick? 1.00

00:51:18.000 I put Clorox in my dick afterward because the iodine obviously didn't fucking work, okay? 1.00

00:51:25.000 Imagine when they ran your piss through the fucking test machine, they'd be like, what? 1.00

00:51:30.000 What is this? 1.00

00:51:31.000 This isn't piss.

00:51:32.000 Do you understand?

00:51:33.000 Like, piss times, every morning I go out and take my cup of coffee and I sit outside. 1.00

00:51:38.000 I thank God, you know, the whole fucking bullshit story. 1.00

00:51:41.000 And then it takes me somewhere. 1.00

00:51:43.000 Like after the second cup of coffee and one of these zins and a bong it, your mind goes somewhere and I think of chunks of my life and I go, what the fuck was that? 0.99

00:51:54.000 Like that was, Joe, that was insanity. 0.99

00:51:57.000 What about every time he used to come to my house to do the checkup?

00:52:00.000 I never let him in.

00:52:03.000 He came like 11 times in two years.

00:52:05.000 I never let him in my house.

00:52:06.000 He wouldn't know I was in the house.

00:52:07.000 He would put the sheriffs to come.

00:52:09.000 and sit outside my house for two hours, then they would leave.

00:52:12.000 They're like, what am I going to do?

00:52:14.000 He's not home.

00:52:15.000 I never let him in my house.

00:52:16.000 I tortured that guy.

00:52:18.000 He could have sent me to prison. 0.62

00:52:18.000 That's all I got. 0.62

00:52:19.000 I still would have been in prison.

00:52:21.000 But it was such a, like, first it was the iodine. 0.99

00:52:24.000 And then you fucking, you know, you're supposed to take 20 milligrams. 0.99

00:52:28.000 I'm eating 200, whatever. 1.00

00:52:29.000 I don't know.

00:52:30.000 And my skin is burning. 0.98

00:52:31.000 I'm fucking red in the face. 0.98

00:52:33.000 I got issues. 0.99

00:52:34.000 So I stopped with the iodine.

00:52:35.000 I still came back positive. 0.99

00:52:37.000 Then I went on the fucking white vinegar. 1.00

00:52:41.000 White vinegar. 1.00

00:52:42.000 White vinegar with a fucking bottle of Gatorade on a Monday morning. 1.00

00:52:46.000 Not a little vinegar, not red wine vinegar, the real vinegar that you clean your asshole with and douchebags and all that shit. 1.00

00:52:55.000 Vinegar cleans you out. 1.00

00:52:56.000 That's what women wash their monkey with vinegar because it takes all the fucking cat piss out of them and all the shit they got in there. 1.00

00:53:05.000 So they said drink vinegar every Monday morning, bro. 1.00

00:53:09.000 And it's like a process.

00:53:10.000 Like you would get High Friday.

00:53:12.000 and you would hope to beat it by Sunday, but you knew you weren't going to beat it.

00:53:15.000 And they're going to call you Monday.

00:53:17.000 And it's like your color is yellow, right?

00:53:19.000 Like if they say yellow, you got to come in.

00:53:22.000 So you wait till one o'clock and you're like, all right, you got to call in.

00:53:25.000 And all of a sudden, today, Monday, Tuesday, the 9th of June, the colors are purple, and you're like, yellow. 0.95

00:53:33.000 God damn, now I got to figure out. 0.96

00:53:35.000 I got five hours. 0.99

00:53:36.000 The place closes at six, so I got to figure out how to stop this cocaine from coming up.

00:53:42.000 So then we started taking CERTO.

00:53:46.000 CERTO is what you put in, like, jello.

00:53:46.000 What's CERTO?

00:53:49.000 It's that thing that makes the jello jiggle or some shit. 0.99

00:53:52.000 What? 1.00

00:53:55.000 Fucking CERTO. 1.00

00:53:57.000 There was no internet these days. 1.00

00:53:59.000 Right.

00:53:59.000 Decent sham.

00:54:00.000 What is that?

00:54:01.000 A brand of liquid fruit pectin, most commonly used in the kitchen as a thickening agent for homemade jams and jellies.

00:54:08.000 However, it's also widely known as an internet folk remedy people use in an attempt to mask drug metabolites in urine.

00:54:14.000 I told you.

00:54:15.000 It's a folk remedy. 1.00

00:54:17.000 It's fucking bullshit. 1.00

00:54:18.000 Does it work? 1.00

00:54:19.000 No, that's why.

00:54:20.000 Let's find out if it works.

00:54:22.000 The myth.

00:54:23.000 Many online forums suggest mixing Certo with a large sports drink like Gatorade and drinking it a few hours before a drug urine test.

00:54:31.000 The theory claims the fiber traps toxins in your digestive tract.

00:54:35.000 Reality, health professionals and medical studies show no scientific evidence that fruit pectin can reliably clear drugs or toxins from your urine, while fiber works in the gut and has no effect on what your kidneys filter into your urine.

00:54:49.000 This episode is brought to you by ARMRA.

00:54:51.000 Every week there's some new wellness hack that people swear by, and after a while you start thinking, why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies?

00:55:00.000 That's why ARMRA Colostrum.

00:55:02.000 Caught my attention.

00:55:03.000 It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc.

00:55:12.000 I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery.

00:55:17.000 Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this.

00:55:19.000 If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts.

00:55:24.000 Go to armra.com slash Rogan. 0.98

00:55:28.000 But again, you get your advice from a guy who's done 30 fucking years. 0.99

00:55:30.000 Then you forget he's been doing 30 years because he made mistakes, not because he's a fucking genius about surno. 0.99

00:55:36.000 Exactly. 0.93

00:55:36.000 You know, and then we went from Cerdo, and then one day I was sweating. 0.93

00:55:39.000 Does anything work?

00:55:40.000 Huh?

00:55:41.000 Does anything work?

00:55:42.000 No, cranberry juice.

00:55:43.000 What about that stuff that they used to sell?

00:55:45.000 Remember they used to sell stuff? 0.99

00:55:46.000 This is 90 fucking. 0.99

00:55:47.000 This is 89. 0.99

00:55:48.000 They didn't sell nothing.

00:55:49.000 No?

00:55:50.000 But do you remember there was some stuff that you could buy and shake it in there or something?

00:55:54.000 No, no, you're saying you could buy piss now.

00:55:54.000 Yeah.

00:55:57.000 Now it's completely different.

00:55:58.000 You could buy piss?

00:55:59.000 Yeah, you could buy piss online. 1.00

00:56:00.000 Just get that dirty fucking XPT, whatever you go on and you could search hidden shit all over the place. 1.00

00:56:07.000 You just got to get a rubber dick. 1.00

00:56:09.000 And take that piss and. 1.00

00:56:10.000 Coke. 1.00

00:56:11.000 I had a guy who made a rubber dick. 1.00

00:56:14.000 Norm Ouellette could not start snorting Coke. 1.00

00:56:16.000 So he made a contraption where he filled up his son's piss in a hot water bottle and did the same thing with the douche. 1.00

00:56:23.000 And he took the douche on the bottom and he scotch taped it to his dick. 1.00

00:56:26.000 And he would piss and squeeze his chest. 1.00

00:56:30.000 Oh my God.

00:56:31.000 That's crazy.

00:56:31.000 And then one day the thing blew up.

00:56:36.000 And he was a bank robber. 0.99

00:56:37.000 They sent him to jail for 30 fucking years. 0.99

00:56:39.000 Want to hear the craziest steroid evasion story that I ever heard from Piss? 1.00

00:56:43.000 There was a guy who was fighting and he knew he was going to get a piss test and he was just juiced to the tits. 0.97

00:56:48.000 So the legend is that they inserted clean urine into his bladder through injection. 0.97

00:56:57.000 So he injected clean urine into his bladder with a needle.

00:57:05.000 Whether or not that's true, I have no idea.

00:57:07.000 But this is what everybody.

00:57:08.000 This is like early days of the UFC.

00:57:10.000 Like when they first started drug testing people.

00:57:13.000 I don't even think it was in the UFC that he did this.

00:57:15.000 I think it was in another organization.

00:57:17.000 But.

00:57:18.000 I don't know if it's true.

00:57:18.000 Think about what's going on on the other side of this.

00:57:20.000 Your addiction is that high.

00:57:23.000 Well, these guys, when they're that juiced up, they're not getting off of it.

00:57:27.000 No, no.

00:57:28.000 I get it.

00:57:29.000 I understand.

00:57:30.000 So, do you understand the extremes that people do? 1.00

00:57:32.000 Could you ever shoot fucking fake piss? 1.00

00:57:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:57:35.000 Like, Joey, go piss my fucking thing. 1.00

00:57:37.000 I'm going to shoot Joey's piss. 1.00

00:57:39.000 A guy willing to do that and trusting that guy was finding your bladder. 1.00

00:57:43.000 He could shoot piss into your liver. 0.99

00:57:44.000 Like, who knows what this guy even understands in that? 0.99

00:57:46.000 Yeah, pisses are the levels that you do.

00:57:48.000 So, here I am, sir, don't work. 0.99

00:57:50.000 Fucking nothing works. 0.99

00:57:51.000 And one day I'm at a pool. 1.00

00:57:53.000 And I'm like, oh shit, when you piss in the pool, the pool cleaner cleaned all this and not the pool would be green the next minute. 0.99

00:58:01.000 So, this is your logic? 0.99

00:58:02.000 So, I went, I took the kids, I took one of those cubes first.

00:58:06.000 Where's the crumbs?

00:58:07.000 Smashed it up. 1.00

00:58:10.000 And then I put it on my outside of a dick because I'm uncircumcised. 1.00

00:58:14.000 So, I would pull the skin back and that would fall into the fucking piss. 1.00

00:58:17.000 And then, so he told me once he goes, something happened last time. 1.00

00:58:20.000 You fucked up the machine or something like that, right? 1.00

00:58:23.000 Women would insert condoms filled with someone else's urine inside themselves, he said. 1.00

00:58:27.000 Some athletes would inject urine into their bladders using a catheter. 1.00

00:58:31.000 Oh, God, they did do that.

00:58:32.000 So that's real.

00:58:35.000 So maybe that's how he did it.

00:58:36.000 Maybe they used a catheter.

00:58:38.000 And that's how they put the fake. 0.96

00:58:39.000 But then there's the Wizzenator. 0.99

00:58:40.000 Yeah, that was the rubber dick. 1.00

00:58:42.000 That's one of those. 0.99

00:58:43.000 Wasn't there some stuff that you could buy that you would get at like a head shop and it supposedly detoxed you?

00:58:49.000 I think it was 89.

00:58:50.000 But does that stuff work?

00:58:51.000 Nothing.

00:58:53.000 When I was Googling it, it says nothing's real that's ever happened.

00:58:55.000 Yeah, I always assumed that it wasn't real.

00:58:55.000 Nothing's real.

00:58:57.000 I was like, are you selling this at a head shop?

00:58:59.000 Stuff from the 90s.

00:59:00.000 These are some of the But the killer was when I used Draino.

00:59:03.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

00:59:03.000 So this is all bullshit. 0.99

00:59:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:05.000 Yeah, they just rob people.

00:59:05.000 They just rob people.

00:59:06.000 Fetish urine. 1.00

00:59:07.000 Look at that. 0.97

00:59:08.000 Look at that's labels. 1.00

00:59:10.000 Fetish urine? 1.00

00:59:11.000 What the fuck does that mean? 0.99

00:59:12.000 It's probably a way to sell it because you have to say what, you know, not for human consumption. 0.99

00:59:18.000 Oh, so that's your buying piss?

00:59:20.000 Oh, so that's an actual bag of piss, right? 0.97

00:59:23.000 Oh, good lord. 0.91

00:59:24.000 This one calls it tinkle. 0.98

00:59:25.000 It's fetish urine. 0.98

00:59:26.000 So if you just, like, want someone to piss on you, but no one's willing, you're like, ugh. 0.99

00:59:31.000 You already told that story about the guy with the gay club, the guy in the bathtub that was on the couch. 0.97

00:59:36.000 Everybody was pissing on him in the tub. 0.99

00:59:38.000 And then that party Shayma took me to in that hotel next to the comedy store, and they were getting pissed on in there, the women.

00:59:44.000 And then I wake up sadly. 0.91

00:59:46.000 I'm feeling good about myself.

00:59:47.000 And I'm on Twitter, and I see Bonnie Blue. 0.87

00:59:50.000 She had a. 1.00

00:59:51.000 That chick is fucking. 1.00

00:59:52.000 She got pissed on. 1.00

00:59:54.000 Had a baby shower. 1.00

00:59:55.000 In her ass. 1.00

00:59:55.000 She had problems. 1.00

00:59:56.000 People were pissing the pussy in her ass. 1.00

00:59:58.000 And I'm like, somebody's got to stop that woman. 1.00

01:00:00.000 She's just. 1.00

01:00:01.000 The release of her problems. 1.00

01:00:02.000 Oh my God, a fucking baby shower. 1.00

01:00:05.000 When I used the drainer, though, that was the best because that destroyed the machine. 1.00

01:00:11.000 But the truth of the matter is.

01:00:14.000 When he said something happened last time.

01:00:16.000 Well, this is what happened. 0.99

01:00:17.000 I put the drainer on my dick and I walked up to the counter and I put it on the desk and he asked you questions. 0.99

01:00:22.000 How's it been? 0.99

01:00:24.000 And I'm looking at the thing and it's starting to foam.

01:00:26.000 Like this thing.

01:00:29.000 And it's coming out of the bag. 1.00

01:00:32.000 And I'm looking at this thing going, this motherfucker better not. 0.99

01:00:35.000 And what he did was he just picked it up and threw it. 0.99

01:00:38.000 In the bag, like when they pick it up and test it.

01:00:41.000 Sometimes you leave the cop top off.

01:00:42.000 That was an old trick.

01:00:43.000 You leave the top off and then it spilled.

01:00:45.000 Oh no, so that buys you one extra week.

01:00:47.000 But the time with the draino it started like it was like shaking at the thing, like foam was coming out of the sides, and I locked it up.

01:00:54.000 Good, that's what happened.

01:00:56.000 There was no oxygen.

01:00:57.000 That was, like you know, boom.

01:00:59.000 So I put it in the thing and he called me a few days later.

01:01:03.000 He's like, listen, I wrote up a thing.

01:01:05.000 I'm taking you to court because you broke the machine.

01:01:07.000 This cannot continue.

01:01:09.000 This can't continue.

01:01:10.000 This can't continue. 1.00

01:01:12.000 This is like a fucking cat and mouse game. 1.00

01:01:15.000 What did you put in your body? 1.00

01:01:17.000 What happened? 1.00

01:01:19.000 What the fuck is going on, Jose? 0.99

01:01:22.000 So, yeah. 1.00

01:01:23.000 Hey, your machine sucks. 1.00

01:01:24.000 Your machine broke. 1.00

01:01:26.000 And then I was like, that's nothing to do with me.

01:01:27.000 No, and then they put me on like this hold.

01:01:30.000 They were like, we're not even going to piss you no more, duh.

01:01:32.000 We're done. 0.99

01:01:32.000 We can't take this mental fucking. 0.99

01:01:37.000 So, this is when you were in the probation department. 0.99

01:01:39.000 Now they're going to throw me back in community corrections because they'll put you in for 90 days and all that. 0.99

01:01:44.000 I met this fucking guy. 0.99

01:01:47.000 For three months, we spoke like nothing, like gentlemen. 1.00

01:01:50.000 I would talk to him.

01:01:51.000 Saw him once a week.

01:01:53.000 And one day I said, what do you do?

01:01:55.000 And he goes, I'm a district attorney in Boulder, Bill Wise.

01:01:59.000 I need a beef.

01:02:00.000 I need a problem.

01:02:01.000 I'm on this probation.

01:02:02.000 They won't leave me alone.

01:02:04.000 What do I do to get off?

01:02:05.000 He goes, just have your attorney draw up a statement and I'll sign it and get you all probation.

01:02:10.000 And that was it.

01:02:11.000 Just a guy I met on the street, Bill Wise.

01:02:14.000 And then he got fired after the John Bonet Ramsey thing. 0.98

01:02:17.000 He was there during the whole John Bonet Ramsey thing and everybody got fucking fired, I guess. 0.95

01:02:21.000 I don't know. 0.89

01:02:21.000 Bill Wise was a great dude, man. 0.89

01:02:22.000 He was good to me.

01:02:24.000 And I told him, we asked him what I did.

01:02:25.000 I told him the truth.

01:02:26.000 And he goes, did you learn from a mistake?

01:02:28.000 Yeah.

01:02:28.000 I'm here working, aren't I?

01:02:30.000 He goes, okay.

01:02:31.000 Pass it over and I'll sign it. 0.93

01:02:32.000 I'm like, oh my God, how fucking lucky am I? 0.83

01:02:35.000 I'm done. 0.97

01:02:36.000 I'm done.

01:02:37.000 I was done.

01:02:38.000 Started in 87.

01:02:40.000 It was all the way to 91. 0.93

01:02:41.000 For a year, I was fucking them up with the Pete thing.

01:02:45.000 Then they put me back in the halfway house. 0.97

01:02:47.000 And that was even worse.

01:02:48.000 I was out of control in there.

01:02:51.000 There was freaks in there. 1.00

01:02:52.000 There's fucking everything in there. 1.00

01:02:53.000 Freaky girls. 1.00

01:02:55.000 I was stealing the air conditioner out of the conference room and put it in my room.

01:02:59.000 They couldn't handle me there either.

01:03:01.000 They were like, dog, you just go home. 1.00

01:03:03.000 We're not going to fuck with you no more. 1.00

01:03:06.000 And that's what you do. 1.00

01:03:07.000 You just wear somebody ragged.

01:03:08.000 They'll let you go.

01:03:09.000 Eventually, they'll just say, you know what, man?

01:03:11.000 It ain't worth it.

01:03:12.000 You're never going to stop.

01:03:13.000 You're never going to stop. 0.98

01:03:15.000 And then a year later, I had an affair with the chick that worked in that office. 1.00

01:03:21.000 She's the one that had the one leg. 1.00

01:03:23.000 And they delivered Chinese food to her.

01:03:28.000 It never stopped. 0.98

01:03:29.000 And you think of those chunks in your life and go, what the fuck was going on? 0.99

01:03:34.000 Yeah, you were out of control. 0.97

01:03:36.000 Like, it's 31 years and I still won't get back to Boulder because of the shame I endured.

01:03:41.000 Seriously, like, I won't.

01:03:42.000 Everybody goes, why don't you go back to Boulder?

01:03:44.000 Because I'm ashamed that that was such a beautiful city.

01:03:48.000 And I treated it like it was Newark.

01:03:49.000 Right.

01:03:50.000 Like, I did what I wanted. 0.95

01:03:51.000 I would go to Kmart, hang on outside of fucking the loan mall department, and people would come out with new loan mowers and the receipt would fly off. 0.92

01:03:59.000 I'd get that receipt and go to Longmont. 0.93

01:04:02.000 And get that lawnmower for $400 and walk it up and go, My mother bought me this.

01:04:05.000 I don't want it no more.

01:04:06.000 And I give them the receipt and they give me $400 cash plus tax.

01:04:09.000 Who does that? 0.99

01:04:11.000 That fucking Toys R Us? 1.00

01:04:12.000 I took that thing down by myself with those Jeffree Bucks. 1.00

01:04:17.000 I took them down. 1.00

01:04:17.000 What's a Jeffree Buck? 1.00

01:04:19.000 It's like when you bring a stolen computer in there and they won't give you cash.

01:04:22.000 They'll give you Jeffree Bucks. 0.99

01:04:24.000 So you have to spend it in the fucking store. 1.00

01:04:27.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:04:27.000 I had a million dollars in Jeffree Bucks at one time. 1.00

01:04:29.000 I was buying bicycles and fucking. 0.99

01:04:32.000 It's just. 0.99

01:04:34.000 I was an animal, and I feel really guilty about it today.

01:04:38.000 I'm thinking of booking the Fox Theater in Boulder, because Ladisio's opening back up, my Italian joint.

01:04:44.000 So they called and they said, we're opening back up.

01:04:46.000 And I'm like, I'm thinking of doing Boulder, like Fox Theater. 0.99

01:04:48.000 Just take my lumps, apologize, donate to something there, and just call it a fucking night. 0.99

01:04:53.000 Because I still feel guilty, man. 0.99

01:04:55.000 I'm old, but now I feel guilty about the damage. 0.99

01:04:58.000 I put Boulder through fucking eight. 0.99

01:05:00.000 I mean, I got chased through the mall by security, and I'm throwing fucking CDs at them. 0.99

01:05:05.000 I remember the Denver Broncos were playing Cleveland in 87, those big playoff games. 0.98

01:05:09.000 You remember those, Jamie?

01:05:10.000 Talking about the mall one day, and everybody's in the hallway looking at TVs.

01:05:13.000 I'm like, who's mining the stores? 0.97

01:05:16.000 I went into Radio Shack and I popped out the fucking CD player, brand new, and just put the cord around it and walked out. 0.99

01:05:21.000 Like, who does that, dog? 0.99

01:05:23.000 That's animal. 1.00

01:05:24.000 And I'm ashamed to admit this shit. 1.00

01:05:26.000 But it was like you said when you first went to Boulder the first time, you're like, this must have been a fucking grocery store for Joey Diaz. 1.00

01:05:34.000 That's exactly what I said when I went there. 0.98

01:05:36.000 It was.

01:05:37.000 It was a shame.

01:05:37.000 Everybody's so, they're so, like, peaceful and sweet.

01:05:43.000 I brought chaos.

01:05:44.000 Yeah.

01:05:45.000 Chaos.

01:05:45.000 And it was too much.

01:05:47.000 When I was in the prison, I broke chaos and I had my cell open.

01:05:50.000 I did what I wanted.

01:05:52.000 It was just too much. 0.99

01:05:53.000 And to this day, it's New York, you could shit like that because that's what New York is about. 1.00

01:05:58.000 I was a fucking piece of shit in New York too, but I don't feel guilty about that. 1.00

01:06:01.000 I still walk around the city now. 1.00

01:06:03.000 You've got so many pieces of shit in New York that were unique in Boulder? 0.99

01:06:06.000 It was unique, but in Boulder, they didn't have anything like me. 1.00

01:06:08.000 They had no idea.

01:06:09.000 I was shaking down people.

01:06:11.000 Some guy kept telling me, I saw you on AE.

01:06:13.000 Remember in the 90s and 80s, AE was a mafia channel.

01:06:17.000 They talked, Bill, whatever, talked about AE to call the own family.

01:06:21.000 And this guy saw me one day.

01:06:22.000 He's like, hey, you're the guy that's in the witness relocation plan.

01:06:25.000 This is 89.

01:06:29.000 This is way before Sammy and all those guys went in. 0.97

01:06:32.000 This guy's telling me, you're a witness relocated guy, a little Italian guy.

01:06:37.000 I saw you on AE. 0.99

01:06:39.000 You're George the Animal something from Boston.

01:06:41.000 I'm like, dog, that's not me.

01:06:43.000 Stop saying that.

01:06:44.000 I already got problems in Boulder.

01:06:46.000 And you're telling people that I'm a witness relocated mafia guy. 1.00

01:06:50.000 He pissed me off so much, finally I just kicked this fucking door down here like one of those Italian knickknack stores. 0.99

01:06:55.000 I went in there and I said, dog, since I'm George the animal, I am. 1.00

01:06:58.000 You're going to give me $200 a week.

01:07:00.000 Bro, he started giving me $200 a week for like three weeks.

01:07:03.000 Then he called a sit-down with Antonio Lodizio.

01:07:06.000 And Antonio's like, yeah, you got to keep paying him.

01:07:08.000 And the guy closed up shop like three weeks later.

01:07:10.000 I never saw him again. 1.00

01:07:12.000 Little Italian guy would always kick his shoes up. 1.00

01:07:15.000 Dog, that's crazy shit. 1.00

01:07:16.000 I was snorting Coke at an ATM in Boulder. 1.00

01:07:19.000 They had a, next to Murphy's, there's an ATM you could walk into with the door.

01:07:23.000 I would go in there with a case of beer at night and just put Coke on the metal.

01:07:26.000 People would come and go ahead. 0.99

01:07:32.000 Can't take this shit back, but it was done and I can't undo it, you know? 0.99

01:07:36.000 But it bothers you now? 1.00

01:07:39.000 Well, does it bother you or does it just make you confused? 0.98

01:07:42.000 Like, how the fuck can I be? 1.00

01:07:43.000 Nobody remembers half this shit I'm saying. 1.00

01:07:44.000 Nobody ever remembers this shit. 1.00

01:07:46.000 People are on, they moved on with their lives. 1.00

01:07:48.000 If they saw me now, they go, hey, that's the guy that kidnapped the guy.

01:07:51.000 Nah, you know, my name was in the paper, my picture wasn't. 0.99

01:07:54.000 They didn't have a picture of me, but everything else was in the fucking paper. 0.99

01:07:58.000 It's a guilt. 0.99

01:07:59.000 It's a weird fucking guilt, man, that. 0.99

01:08:01.000 I could have done so much better there. 0.99

01:08:02.000 If I would have played my cards right, I could have graduated college as a fucking astronaut. 0.99

01:08:07.000 Because they were going to give me everything just because I was Cuban. 0.99

01:08:10.000 They had no Spanish people at that college.

01:08:12.000 They had only like eight blacks that played football. 1.00

01:08:14.000 So they were doing anything to get Latinos. 1.00

01:08:17.000 I would have been a fucking astronaut with a GED. 0.99

01:08:20.000 Yeah, but we would have missed this, Joey. 0.99

01:08:23.000 Yeah, but it's good that it turned out this way.

01:08:25.000 Let me ask you something. 0.99

01:08:25.000 If you wouldn't have gotten into this fucking thing, what would you think you'd be doing now? 0.99

01:08:30.000 If I hadn't gotten into which one? 0.99

01:08:31.000 This thing that we're doing, stand up comedy.

01:08:34.000 No, stand up comedy opened up every time.

01:08:36.000 What would I be doing?

01:08:37.000 I don't know, man.

01:08:38.000 I don't know.

01:08:39.000 I probably would have fought again.

01:08:40.000 Would you be a chef?

01:08:41.000 Would you be.

01:08:42.000 I mean, I could pin you as a chef.

01:08:44.000 You love to cook.

01:08:45.000 Yeah, I do love to cook.

01:08:46.000 A chef?

01:08:47.000 A mason?

01:08:47.000 I found something that I enjoyed doing.

01:08:50.000 What?

01:08:51.000 I would have figured it out.

01:08:51.000 I don't know.

01:08:52.000 What's your second love?

01:08:53.000 The real problem would be if I had a kid real young.

01:08:57.000 So, if, you know, I know a bunch of my friends got married and had kids when they were like 22, 23.

01:09:02.000 There's nothing wrong with that, but.

01:09:05.000 Then that really limits your ability to just go for it.

01:09:09.000 Because you have mouths to feed.

01:09:10.000 That's a different animal.

01:09:11.000 You know, I think about the early days of stand up when I was 21 and how I had zero money.

01:09:17.000 I mean, zero.

01:09:18.000 I had zero money.

01:09:19.000 I barely could eat. 0.99

01:09:20.000 I remember I had a big fucking jar of pennies and nickels, dimes and shit, and I remember rolling it all up so I could go get a sandwich. 0.99

01:09:29.000 Like, I had no money. 0.98

01:09:31.000 And so I could imagine, like, if I was trying to do that, I said, well, I'm just going to live like this for a couple years, and I think if I work hard enough, I could eventually start making money doing stand up, and if I keep getting better, maybe I could be a professional.

01:09:45.000 You know, that was the idea.

01:09:46.000 It was never like have a career.

01:09:48.000 But if I had a kid and I had a wife, there's no way I would have done it.

01:09:52.000 There's no way I would have gotten a job.

01:09:55.000 And that's where a lot of people get into, you know, or maybe you think it's going to be a good investment to get a house, which it is.

01:10:03.000 But now you've got a mortgage.

01:10:04.000 So you've got a mortgage. 0.98

01:10:05.000 You can't just fucking lose everything. 0.98

01:10:07.000 I got my car repossessed. 0.99

01:10:09.000 I was broke, man.

01:10:10.000 I was broke.

01:10:11.000 Bro, I used to have to hide my car in a garage so they wouldn't repossess it. 1.00

01:10:15.000 Shit. 1.00

01:10:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:17.000 I mean, it was.

01:10:18.000 100% check to check.

01:10:19.000 I don't have any money in the bank.

01:10:20.000 I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me a lot now. 0.96

01:10:24.000 And this is why I started this grateful shit, because dead days I pull up to my house, I don't know who lives there. 0.96

01:10:32.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:33.000 I go, who lives here?

01:10:35.000 This isn't me?

01:10:37.000 I know, it doesn't feel real.

01:10:38.000 And then you say to yourself, this is the most important thing for people listening.

01:10:43.000 I want you to listen to this if you have a dream or a goal.

01:10:45.000 You go, I got to pay for that with comedy, which I always thought I was just going to make $100 a set.

01:10:52.000 And I would have been fine with that if nobody would have ever bothered me in my life.

01:10:56.000 I would have been fine with $100 a set, getting in my beat up car, and doing that. 1.00

01:11:01.000 Getting your dick sucked, getting STDs. 1.00

01:11:03.000 I would have done all that shit. 1.00

01:11:05.000 That's what it is. 1.00

01:11:05.000 You know? 1.00

01:11:07.000 So when you look at your house, whether it costs $40,000 or $80 million, and go, I paid for this doing $15 sets at the comedy store.

01:11:17.000 Yeah.

01:11:18.000 When you got into this, you just wanted to survive. 1.00

01:11:22.000 Never mind the fucking house and cars and. 0.99

01:11:25.000 You never dreamed of this with stand up. 1.00

01:11:27.000 I know I didn't.

01:11:28.000 I never dreamed of this with anything.

01:11:30.000 I never thought I would be a person who had money.

01:11:30.000 No.

01:11:34.000 I dreamed of being a funny person and to be funny enough to make a living in stand up.

01:11:39.000 I never saw this part of it.

01:11:39.000 Yeah.

01:11:41.000 So when I pull up in my house and I go, that was paid with $20 sets $25 here, $15 here, $100 here.

01:11:48.000 Yeah, that adds up.

01:11:49.000 I'm not saying that, but that was paid by a dream.

01:11:52.000 Yeah.

01:11:52.000 Not a job, not something my family did.

01:11:55.000 I wasn't forced into like. 0.97

01:11:57.000 Raising lemons or whatever the fuck people do that are decent. 0.97

01:12:00.000 You know growing lemons, you know seriously, we were born into this. 0.97

01:12:04.000 This is something we got into and said, I just want to survive, I just want to be able to eat three meals and get enough gas to go to the next thing.

01:12:13.000 Forget money in the bank.

01:12:14.000 Forget it, it's overrated.

01:12:16.000 I would never even open up a bank.

01:12:18.000 I didn't open up a bank.

01:12:19.000 I was 40 years old, you know. 0.99

01:12:21.000 I just ran on whatever the fuck I would open and put 20 in and write a bounce check and fucking move on and pray that nobody caught you. 0.97

01:12:28.000 You know, And people have no idea what that feeling is like. 1.00

01:12:32.000 I get in my car and I go, holy shit. 0.95

01:12:34.000 How many cars did I have that I had a, what are those bungee cords? 0.99

01:12:37.000 Oh, yeah, a bungee cord.

01:12:38.000 So I had a car when I first did comedy.

01:12:40.000 I had to close the door with a bungee cord.

01:12:43.000 Across my thing.

01:12:43.000 It was like my combination seatbelt.

01:12:45.000 Because if I took a fucking right turn, the door would open. 0.97

01:12:49.000 You know, the door would just wing open. 1.00

01:12:51.000 Now I'm in a car that's fucking I paid for. 0.99

01:12:54.000 With comedy. 0.99

01:12:55.000 Not drugs.

01:12:55.000 Nice one.

01:12:56.000 Not anything.

01:12:57.000 No, whether it's nice or not, you paid for this without nobody's interference.

01:13:02.000 With somebody.

01:13:03.000 With something that somebody told you you'd never be good at.

01:13:06.000 You'd never be good at.

01:13:07.000 Somebody at least said it to you one time.

01:13:09.000 Joe, come on, man.

01:13:10.000 Comedy, you're never gonna.

01:13:11.000 What do you think? 0.99

01:13:12.000 You're gonna be on HBO with fucking Richard Pryor and George Collin. 0.99

01:13:15.000 You laugh, but you're like, they're kind of right. 0.99

01:13:17.000 They were fucking wrong. 0.98

01:13:18.000 We didn't know it, we just didn't fucking know it. 0.99

01:13:21.000 Well, it's like telling someone, I'm gonna run 200 miles. 0.99

01:13:25.000 You can't even run around the block.

01:13:25.000 Like, no, you're not.

01:13:27.000 Like, no, one day I'm gonna run 200 miles.

01:13:29.000 Like, no, you're not.

01:13:30.000 You're not gonna run 200 miles.

01:13:32.000 And most of the time, they're right. 1.00

01:13:34.000 But if you're one of those motherfuckers, it's just like it might take me 10 years to develop the endurance to run 200 miles, but I can't if I start right now. 1.00

01:13:43.000 Next month, I'm going to be able to run five miles. 1.00

01:13:46.000 You know, in six months, I'll be able to run 10 miles.

01:13:49.000 And then I'm going to keep going.

01:13:50.000 But then you quit before the miracle happens.

01:13:53.000 Well, I think that's somewhere along the line.

01:13:54.000 How many people do we know that quit?

01:13:56.000 How many people do we know that were really talented, that were really funny?

01:13:59.000 And just disappeared.

01:14:00.000 And now you see them on Twitter.

01:14:01.000 I don't want to shame anybody, but there's a few guys, and this is one guy at the early days of the comedy store that I really tried to help.

01:14:07.000 I connected him to my manager, and I was like, this guy's legit.

01:14:10.000 I'm like, you're funny, dude.

01:14:11.000 Like, you're good. 0.98

01:14:13.000 If you just fucking stay and then had a bunch of personal problems, had a kid, I think he had some legal issues. 1.00

01:14:21.000 Damn. 1.00

01:14:22.000 But that guy, I'm like, I'll tell you later who it was. 1.00

01:14:24.000 No, I know it was.

01:14:25.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:14:26.000 But I was like, that motherfucker was funny. 0.99

01:14:28.000 He was funny. 1.00

01:14:29.000 Way funnier than I was.

01:14:30.000 He was great.

01:14:31.000 Like, he was a fun dude to be around, he was a cool dude.

01:14:34.000 I was like, he's going to make it.

01:14:36.000 There were people I looked at and I go, they're way funnier than I am. 1.00

01:14:39.000 Holy fuck. 0.99

01:14:40.000 We were both like the same age, too. 1.00

01:14:43.000 We were like 27 when I first met him.

01:14:46.000 And I connected with my manager, and he was like, Nobody ever did anything like that for me before.

01:14:51.000 Nobody tries to help me.

01:14:53.000 Nobody.

01:14:53.000 I was like, Listen, man, you'll do it too now.

01:14:57.000 You'll make it, and then you'll do it too.

01:14:59.000 We'll all do it.

01:15:01.000 It helps, and it doesn't hurt.

01:15:03.000 It doesn't hurt you at all to help somebody, but it helps them, and it helps you.

01:15:06.000 It helps you feel better.

01:15:08.000 You feel better that you're helping someone.

01:15:11.000 I always say that being generous is kind of selfish in a way, because you feel better too.

01:15:16.000 Like when I'm generous, I feel better.

01:15:17.000 I do.

01:15:18.000 Yeah.

01:15:19.000 We all do.

01:15:20.000 And when we're kind and when we try to help people, you feel better.

01:15:23.000 It's good for you.

01:15:24.000 It's good for everybody.

01:15:25.000 And it's like that's a message that the world needs to hear.

01:15:28.000 Like, you could be good to people.

01:15:31.000 And if you're good to people and you're nice to people, it'll help you too.

01:15:34.000 It will help you too.

01:15:36.000 And if you find someone who's got something and you're doing a thing, like you're doing a thing, and there's someone who's got a spark, there's a little talent, help them.

01:15:45.000 Help those people.

01:15:46.000 Give them advice.

01:15:47.000 Give them a push.

01:15:48.000 Let them open for you.

01:15:49.000 You know, watch their set, give them some feedback, help them.

01:15:53.000 Because, you know.

01:15:55.000 We're not in the comedy business, Joe.

01:15:57.000 I've never been in the comedy business.

01:15:58.000 I don't know what anybody's talking about.

01:16:00.000 We're in the karma business.

01:16:02.000 It's a little of that.

01:16:03.000 I'm in the karma business.

01:16:04.000 I am not in the karma business.

01:16:05.000 My goal every day is to make somebody's day.

01:16:08.000 One person. 0.97

01:16:09.000 A woman in the supermarket. 1.00

01:16:10.000 You're looking fucking bad in a motherfucker today. 1.00

01:16:13.000 Oh, stop it, Joey. 1.00

01:16:14.000 Yeah, that. 1.00

01:16:15.000 I just made her fucking day. 1.00

01:16:17.000 Her husband sees her every day and never tells her she's banging. 1.00

01:16:20.000 And I'm going up to this lady.

01:16:21.000 I don't even know. 0.98

01:16:22.000 And I'm like, Damn, if I was 20 years younger. 0.98

01:16:24.000 You know, they're older than me. 0.98

01:16:26.000 Like, they're just, you know, that's my thing every day.

01:16:29.000 Just make somebody's day.

01:16:30.000 One person.

01:16:31.000 You can't save the world.

01:16:33.000 But one day, a gesture, a handshake, a couple dollars is not going to set you back.

01:16:38.000 That is kind of what you, if you're doing a thing or you're doing something that people enjoy, like, think about your sets.

01:16:46.000 Like, think about how many people have gone to see you and you changed their night.

01:16:50.000 Gone to see you.

01:16:51.000 Like, how many nights at the store people come in?

01:16:53.000 You want to see a show?

01:16:54.000 Yeah, let's go see a show. 1.00

01:16:55.000 You go on stage and rock that fucking place. 0.99

01:16:57.000 They leave, they're holding their side like, ah, and they go out and get something to eat afterwards. 1.00

01:17:01.000 They already said that fucking thing about, ah! 1.00

01:17:03.000 And they're dying. 1.00

01:17:04.000 Like, you change people's evenings.

01:17:08.000 You change their feelings.

01:17:09.000 You change the way they feel.

01:17:10.000 And you feel good because of it.

01:17:12.000 It's like this weird exchange.

01:17:13.000 The reason why we love killing, especially people that are really good at it, what they love is that they're making other people happy.

01:17:20.000 That's really what you love. 0.89

01:17:21.000 That's it.

01:17:22.000 I love it.

01:17:22.000 You're making other people happy.

01:17:25.000 And you feel happy because you're making it.

01:17:26.000 And when you don't, oh, you feel terrible.

01:17:28.000 I feel, I do better when I look at the audience and they're laughing and I laugh with them.

01:17:33.000 Once I laugh, you're done.

01:17:35.000 Yes.

01:17:36.000 Yeah.

01:17:36.000 You're done.

01:17:37.000 Once I start laughing and giggling.

01:17:38.000 If it's real.

01:17:39.000 Parties.

01:17:40.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:40.000 Yeah.

01:17:40.000 No, it's real.

01:17:41.000 Because you're having fun.

01:17:42.000 It's real.

01:17:42.000 Yeah.

01:17:43.000 When I look out there and I see somebody that should not be laughing and they're laughing at something blue as shit that I said and I don't expect them to laugh, that's what makes me laugh. 0.99

01:17:52.000 Or the look on their face from the shock of you saying something, that's what always kicks me into this fucking mode, you know? 0.99

01:17:59.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:17:59.000 It's beautiful. 0.98

01:18:00.000 The other thing I want to talk about on this podcast, because I was talking to a friend of mine in Jersey at stand-up.

01:18:05.000 And this is the other thing people don't see. 0.97

01:18:07.000 We're very blessed because we went to LA, wherever the fuck we went, and one day you're talking to somebody, and two weeks later, they're in the fucking biggest movie in Hollywood. 0.99

01:18:19.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:18:20.000 And it's very hard to explain to people to sit, believe in yourself, and just keep showing up, and that this happens.

01:18:29.000 But since people don't see that happen in their world, in Jersey, what do you see?

01:18:35.000 A guy hits the lottery, he wins a million dollars.

01:18:38.000 That's their way out of.

01:18:39.000 This life for us it was like we have. 0.97

01:18:44.000 We saw too many people make it like this, like one day they had nothing and the next day they're on CBS fucking doing a show for eight years with whether it's Kevin or whether it's fucking the other guy, the great guy from Pittsburgh. 0.82

01:18:59.000 You've seen that, so it gives you hope. 1.00

01:19:01.000 Now, at that situation you could say, fuck that dude, he's a fucking loser. 1.00

01:19:04.000 You could go good for him. 1.00

01:19:06.000 He just moved the notch up a little bit so I could get on that conveyor line.

01:19:10.000 That's the beauty of it. 1.00

01:19:11.000 Not looking at that person going, fuck him. 1.00

01:19:14.000 He stole my joke in Pittsburgh. 1.00

01:19:14.000 He sucks. 1.00

01:19:16.000 Who gives a fuck about Pittsburgh in 89? 1.00

01:19:19.000 Guy's on TV now. 0.97

01:19:21.000 You know, whatever he is, be happy because you're next.

01:19:25.000 You know him. 1.00

01:19:25.000 You fucking do sex with him. 1.00

01:19:27.000 Right. 1.00

01:19:27.000 You're there in the rotation with him at the store every night. 1.00

01:19:29.000 Yeah, it can happen for you too.

01:19:31.000 It happens. 1.00

01:19:31.000 So once you see it, you go, oh, shit. 1.00

01:19:34.000 Okay. 1.00

01:19:34.000 Now I know what I need to do. 1.00

01:19:36.000 That's if you're real.

01:19:37.000 I need to get off coke.

01:19:37.000 That's if you're real.

01:19:39.000 I need to cut this shit out. 0.99

01:19:40.000 I need to do this, this, and this just to get me closer to that because I see it too much. 0.99

01:19:46.000 I see people living in an apartment with eight people, and next thing you know, they got a house in Beverly Hills.

01:19:50.000 Most people don't see that.

01:19:52.000 Right.

01:19:52.000 So it's tough to explain to them what they're, because everybody thinks you're going to hit the lottery and your life's going to change.

01:19:59.000 Boy, are they mistaken.

01:20:00.000 Everybody thinks $10 million is going to change their life and make them a better person.

01:20:04.000 It's not.

01:20:05.000 It's not.

01:20:06.000 We think it's going to.

01:20:07.000 Like when you were broke all those years, you used to say, I can't wait to have money.

01:20:11.000 But you never said, I can't wait to have money for what?

01:20:15.000 I never thought I would have money.

01:20:17.000 Me neither.

01:20:18.000 I never said, I can't wait to have money.

01:20:20.000 My thought was, I want to make a living.

01:20:23.000 That's it.

01:20:24.000 That's it.

01:20:25.000 Even when I first started with stand up, it was just to make a living.

01:20:25.000 That's why I was.

01:20:29.000 It was just doing this thing. 1.00

01:20:30.000 I was a fucking loser in regular society. 1.00

01:20:34.000 I was good at kicking people, I was a loser in regular society. 1.00

01:20:37.000 I was like, I didn't graduate college. 0.72

01:20:40.000 I barely got out of high school.

01:20:42.000 I wasn't paying attention.

01:20:44.000 I didn't care about school.

01:20:45.000 All I cared about was whatever I cared about, whether it was drawing or whether it was martial arts.

01:20:50.000 Those are the things that I cared about.

01:20:51.000 That's it.

01:20:52.000 So I always felt like I just need to find a way to live because I'm never going to be a successful person.

01:20:59.000 I had like resigned myself to that.

01:21:01.000 I had no aspirations.

01:21:02.000 You? 1.00

01:21:03.000 I fucking. 1.00

01:21:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:04.000 Well, I know.

01:21:04.000 You were way worse than me because you were in and out of jail.

01:21:07.000 I had no family, felonies, no GED.

01:21:07.000 No.

01:21:11.000 I was set to fucking die. 1.00

01:21:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:21:14.000 And that little fucking accident I had when I was 25 years old, you know, it's like right now you go and you look at the news and there's this big thing going on by the ice facility, by my house in Jersey, in Newark. 0.99

01:21:27.000 They keep fucking banging. 1.00

01:21:28.000 And I'm sitting there going, Here's how stupid we are as Americans. 1.00

01:21:32.000 I don't know if Americans know this shit. 1.00

01:21:34.000 When you go to jail, you lose all your rights. 1.00

01:21:36.000 You know why I don't go to jail, Joe?

01:21:37.000 Because that sleep apnea machine doesn't mean nothing in jail.

01:21:41.000 We don't care if you die.

01:21:43.000 Right.

01:21:43.000 You know what you have to do to get a sleep apnea machine in jail?

01:21:45.000 You got to go to a manufacturer.

01:21:47.000 They have to send it to you directly, which we'll get into later. 0.99

01:21:50.000 But my point is that fucking. 0.99

01:21:53.000 What was my point? 0.99

01:21:54.000 I don't even know.

01:21:55.000 I got so high before.

01:21:57.000 Your point was that you never thought you were going to go anywhere.

01:21:59.000 No, I never thought I was going to go anywhere.

01:22:01.000 Until comedy came around and you realized, oh, this is a thing that I can do.

01:22:01.000 Anywhere.

01:22:05.000 But all I wanted was $4,000 a month.

01:22:08.000 In my mind, I was such a loser that I said to myself, if I can make $4,000 a month, I'm a millionaire.

01:22:14.000 And today, $4,000 a month doesn't even get you rent.

01:22:17.000 Right.

01:22:17.000 Not even nothing.

01:22:18.000 Well, back then, $4,000 a month was like $8,000 a month.

01:22:21.000 Yeah, $8,000 a month now.

01:22:23.000 And you would say, okay, if I made $100,000 a year, I can live.

01:22:26.000 Like, you can live off $100,000 a year and be comfortable.

01:22:29.000 Like, that's the goal.

01:22:30.000 The goal was always just to be comfortable.

01:22:32.000 But the thing with you is, I realized this very early on.

01:22:38.000 It was going to take a different path.

01:22:40.000 I remember watching you emerge when you really started killing on stage.

01:22:46.000 And I was saying, and then all these agents.

01:22:50.000 You remember I had that one agent that would get mad that I would take you on the road?

01:22:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:54.000 He would get mad. 1.00

01:22:56.000 I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 0.99

01:22:57.000 I don't think he's funny. 1.00

01:22:58.000 I go, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 0.99

01:22:58.000 I don't think he's talented. 0.99

01:23:00.000 You don't know anything.

01:23:01.000 I go, why does he make me laugh so hard? 0.99

01:23:03.000 He's like, well, you're a degenerate. 1.00

01:23:04.000 Like, you're a crazy person. 1.00

01:23:06.000 You got to realize the audience is offended, and that's your audience. 1.00

01:23:09.000 Like, shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:23:10.000 I knew that you were a different path. 1.00

01:23:14.000 So, for you, your emergence came with the emergence of the internet.

01:23:19.000 And when the internet came around and we started doing podcasts, I'm like, this is the way that Joey's going to break because they'll get to see the real you.

01:23:28.000 When I told stories, listen, it's like 24 7 on HBO. 1.00

01:23:32.000 You may hate fucking. 1.00

01:23:33.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:23:35.000 Throw any name up.

01:23:36.000 You may hate that boxer.

01:23:38.000 For some reason.

01:23:39.000 He's whatever. 0.63

01:23:40.000 He's cocky.

01:23:41.000 But then they show you his house.

01:23:44.000 And they show you he's got four daughters.

01:23:45.000 And they show you that he wakes up every morning and feeds the daughters. 1.00

01:23:48.000 You thought he was a fucking animal. 1.00

01:23:50.000 In the cage, he's an animal. 1.00

01:23:52.000 But in life, he's just a regular guy.

01:23:54.000 And you get to see that and go, no, I like him.

01:23:57.000 I don't see a guy that just punches people in the head.

01:23:59.000 I see a guy that's, look at him. 1.00

01:24:01.000 He's got fucking makeup on for his daughters. 1.00

01:24:03.000 And he's cooking breakfast every morning. 1.00

01:24:04.000 Then he goes trains.

01:24:06.000 Like that Jason, what was his name?

01:24:08.000 The big yoke brother from the UFC, Alexander.

01:24:11.000 Remember, he came and he was knocking heads, and they found out he couldn't do jujitsu.

01:24:14.000 Great guy, though.

01:24:16.000 Houston, Houston Alexander.

01:24:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:18.000 I watched that thing on him.

01:24:19.000 He was raising four girls. 0.69

01:24:21.000 His wife, the crack mom, left. 0.99

01:24:23.000 That dude was a tank. 0.99

01:24:23.000 He was a tank, and he would train in the mornings, then go home, cook for the kids. 0.99

01:24:27.000 Remember when he knocked out Keith Jardine? 0.53

01:24:29.000 Big upset.

01:24:31.000 Keith Jardine just tried to take him out, and Houston Alexander was throwing bombs. 0.99

01:24:36.000 He was big and fucking strong. 0.99

01:24:37.000 Jacked. 1.00

01:24:38.000 Jacked.

01:24:39.000 And he was a radio DJ.

01:24:41.000 You know, he was a radio DJ.

01:24:42.000 I didn't know that.

01:24:43.000 Yeah, he was a hip hop DJ.

01:24:45.000 Find out where Houston Alexander is.

01:24:47.000 I'd love to know where he is.

01:24:48.000 Yeah, he's a big DJ.

01:24:48.000 Like a big DJ.

01:24:49.000 Like he was successful. 0.99

01:24:50.000 He always talked to me at the airports and shit. 0.98

01:24:53.000 Very good guy. 0.99

01:24:54.000 Very good guy.

01:24:54.000 I was like, wow.

01:24:56.000 But, you know, I knew that once I was able to tell my story, where I came from, I didn't know how to do it on stage.

01:25:04.000 Then, after I did on the podcast, over the years, I got better enough to learn how to do it on stage.

01:25:09.000 But you did figure out how to do something on stage that was the switch.

01:25:13.000 And the switch was you figured out how to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot on stage.

01:25:18.000 Yeah, in stage.

01:25:19.000 That was killing me.

01:25:20.000 But it went like that.

01:25:21.000 Like that.

01:25:22.000 I never saw anybody flip a switch from struggling on stage to crushing like you.

01:25:27.000 Yeah.

01:25:28.000 I was like, this is wild.

01:25:30.000 And I'm going to tell you some of the reasons.

01:25:32.000 I was too focused on material. 1.00

01:25:36.000 You're too focused on your fucking material. 1.00

01:25:38.000 At the end of the day, your material sucks. 1.00

01:25:38.000 And you know what? 1.00

01:25:39.000 I've heard it already.

01:25:40.000 And that's what I would think in my mind.

01:25:42.000 So I would do better when I went up there just with one thought and attacked it.

01:25:48.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:25:49.000 I mean, it's hard to explain what I'm saying to you.

01:25:52.000 No, you what you did was you treated the audience like they were your boys and were all hanging out.

01:25:52.000 Yeah.

01:26:00.000 Versus treat the audience like I'm a comic, here's some jokes.

01:26:04.000 Like when you first started, when I first, what did I meet you in 96?

01:26:09.000 97.

01:26:09.000 When I first met you, you were doing jokes.

01:26:12.000 Like you would go on stage and do jokes.

01:26:14.000 And I would focus on the jokes on that paper.

01:26:16.000 Don't focus on that. 1.00

01:26:18.000 At 11 30 at the store, your jokes don't mean shit. 0.99

01:26:21.000 They just saw three hours of top notch comedy. 0.95

01:26:24.000 What are you bringing to the table?

01:26:26.000 You're going to go up there and tell me what I saw on the news?

01:26:28.000 And who taught us that?

01:26:30.000 Paul Mooney.

01:26:31.000 How to relax.

01:26:32.000 He would just go up there, and in my mind, he was just vibing with the audience.

01:26:36.000 He did a lot of that.

01:26:37.000 And it worked, and I took that realm of relax.

01:26:42.000 Mooney taught us a lot.

01:26:43.000 Relax.

01:26:44.000 He was a real veteran.

01:26:45.000 He was like one of the only guys when we were there that was there during the prior years.

01:26:50.000 And was respected.

01:26:50.000 The prior years.

01:26:52.000 He wasn't like one of those.

01:26:54.000 There were a few guys that were still hanging around that had literally acts from the Navy.

01:26:58.000 Carbineers.

01:26:58.000 They were still doing like Bruce Springsteen jokes.

01:27:00.000 Oh, no.

01:27:00.000 It was just bad.

01:27:01.000 But his laid back.

01:27:03.000 Yeah.

01:27:03.000 Attitude always topical, too.

01:27:06.000 Always new.

01:27:07.000 Anytime new was going on the news, he had 10 solid minutes on it and quick.

01:27:11.000 Yeah, that day.

01:27:13.000 If it happened, they told him on the news that night.

01:27:15.000 That day, I remember he was crushing on stage once.

01:27:17.000 We were dying in the back of the room.

01:27:18.000 He goes, Oh, that's right.

01:27:19.000 I write, I write.

01:27:21.000 Yeah, no, no, he's just we were dying.

01:27:23.000 But that calmness taught me how to.

01:27:25.000 I was going up there and rushing.

01:27:27.000 Yeah, I was going up there doing two mistakes, rushing and worrying about that material like it was Bible.

01:27:33.000 Right, I'll give you an example.

01:27:37.000 Sometimes I get an audition, right, when I was doing a lot of auditions.

01:27:41.000 This is when I learned that, early on when I was auditioning, that if I focused on that line, those lines, I wasn't going to book that part. 0.99

01:27:51.000 So I had to dip into Marlon Brando's fucking tools. 1.00

01:27:54.000 Marlon Brando didn't read shit. 1.00

01:27:56.000 He put those signs on you so you felt more organic. 0.99

01:27:59.000 But it wasn't even that.

01:28:00.000 It was know who your character is. 1.00

01:28:04.000 I could tell you to go fuck your mother 18 different ways. 1.00

01:28:08.000 Right. 1.00

01:28:08.000 Right? 1.00

01:28:09.000 So it's the same thing.

01:28:11.000 You have to just learn, not the words, but what he's trying to say in there.

01:28:17.000 You don't need the words. 1.00

01:28:18.000 The words are bullshit. 1.00

01:28:19.000 What is this guy trying to say in there? 1.00

01:28:21.000 Yeah, you take some of the sentences that he's saying, but you slow it down. 0.99

01:28:25.000 And that's what he did in that scene when he tells everybody, if my son should hang by a bolt of lightning, you, then our Marlon Brando in the hotel scene, that's a beautiful fucking scene. 1.00

01:28:36.000 If you love that shit like I do. 1.00

01:28:38.000 All those motherfuckers were wearing signs. 1.00

01:28:41.000 You've seen the behind the scenes of that. 1.00

01:28:43.000 So their words, the script was on papers.

01:28:47.000 So Duval was sitting across from him with a billboard.

01:28:50.000 That boss was sitting across from him, and you see him, like he'd just look up, and that I will not forgive.

01:28:50.000 That's hilarious.

01:28:58.000 And he'd take another pause and look at another cue card because he wanted it to be organic. 0.99

01:29:03.000 He didn't want it to sound like those fucking lines, just write or wrote. 0.99

01:29:07.000 Right. 0.99

01:29:07.000 And that's for everything. 0.99

01:29:08.000 If you know the character, I know the character, I know me.

01:29:12.000 See?

01:29:13.000 That's crazy.

01:29:15.000 Everybody had science, dog.

01:29:16.000 That is really crazy.

01:29:19.000 But it worked.

01:29:19.000 Isn't it crazy?

01:29:20.000 Did it work?

01:29:21.000 In The Godfather, it worked. 1.00

01:29:22.000 Okay, so go fuck yourself. 1.00

01:29:24.000 I was watching this thing where they were very skeptical about him playing. 1.00

01:29:28.000 Oh, did you see the Sony thing?

01:29:30.000 The Sony series?

01:29:30.000 Yeah.

01:29:31.000 Very good.

01:29:32.000 Yeah, very good.

01:29:32.000 Very good.

01:29:33.000 What an interesting thing.

01:29:33.000 Yeah.

01:29:34.000 Imagine skeptical about Marlon Brando playing The Godfather. 0.99

01:29:38.000 Well, brother, he had shot a movie, Beauty on the Bounty, and they went down there, and the motherfucker fucked that chick, and he wasn't even directing anymore. 0.99

01:29:47.000 He was in the hut. 0.99

01:29:48.000 He gave, like, the AD, the camera.

01:29:50.000 You didn't hear about that?

01:29:51.000 That's a huge story.

01:29:51.000 Yeah, well.

01:29:53.000 That's Apocalypse Now, right?

01:29:54.000 And then Apocalypse Now.

01:29:54.000 No.

01:29:56.000 He went to a meeting, they gave him all this loot, and they told him, You've got to show up 180. 0.83

01:30:00.000 Like, you're supposed to be a Green Beret.

01:30:02.000 He showed up 400. 0.55

01:30:02.000 Right. 0.55

01:30:04.000 Well, that's why they kept him in the dark, right?

01:30:05.000 Yeah, they kept him in the dark, and he shaved his black shirt. 1.00

01:30:08.000 You know, he didn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:30:10.000 He did it however, and that's why they hated him. 1.00

01:30:13.000 But at the same time, you've got to love the motherfucker because it's working. 0.99

01:30:16.000 Yeah, well, it was authentic, right? 0.99

01:30:20.000 Yeah, that Apple TV show was very interesting.

01:30:23.000 It was.

01:30:24.000 And I met that dude.

01:30:24.000 Very.

01:30:26.000 Remember, he created The Longest Yard.

01:30:29.000 Al Ruddy did the longest yard from scratch.

01:30:32.000 When he did The Godfather, I think he didn't take two and he went to do the longest yard.

01:30:37.000 He loved it.

01:30:39.000 So he created the longest yard.

01:30:40.000 So when we shot our longest yard, he was there every Friday for his little checky poo. 1.00

01:30:44.000 Big motherfucker. 1.00

01:30:46.000 Big dude, dog. 1.00

01:30:47.000 Good dude. 1.00

01:30:48.000 Big hands and shit. 1.00

01:30:49.000 Would just talk to you about stuff. 1.00

01:30:51.000 Good dude.

01:30:53.000 So I got it. 1.00

01:30:54.000 Like that motherfucker. 1.00

01:30:55.000 You know, Ruddy. 1.00

01:30:56.000 And I think he did something else after that.

01:30:58.000 Look at the movies he did.

01:31:00.000 Look at the movies here.

01:31:01.000 Jamie, when you got a minute, Paul Rudy's films.

01:31:04.000 What was that other question that I asked you earlier?

01:31:07.000 About?

01:31:07.000 I asked you to look something up.

01:31:09.000 Alexander's a DJ in Omaha?

01:31:09.000 I forgot.

01:31:11.000 Yes, Omaha.

01:31:12.000 He was from Omaha.

01:31:13.000 That's what it is.

01:31:15.000 What radio station?

01:31:16.000 It's an independent hip hop station.

01:31:18.000 Is he still doing it?

01:31:20.000 Yeah, it says he currently is.

01:31:22.000 He currently is still.

01:31:23.000 Look at that.

01:31:24.000 We got to call him.

01:31:25.000 I think he fought recently.

01:31:27.000 I think he had a fight, like, within the last couple of years.

01:31:32.000 This says 2017 for MMA box, bare knuckle boxing in 2023.

01:31:32.000 Did he?

01:31:38.000 That's it.

01:31:39.000 Yeah.

01:31:40.000 One of four of his bare knuckle fights.

01:31:42.000 Yeah.

01:31:43.000 Bare knuckle fighting.

01:31:44.000 Dude's a DJ.

01:31:46.000 UFC veteran. 1.00

01:31:47.000 It said, fuck it. 1.00

01:31:48.000 Let's get some bare knuckle fights in. 1.00

01:31:49.000 That's fucking great. 0.99

01:31:50.000 You could DJ and then go fight somebody else. 1.00

01:31:50.000 It's that thing. 1.00

01:31:52.000 Crazy.

01:31:53.000 Yeah.

01:31:53.000 And that's life, man.

01:31:55.000 That's a life that's worth living.

01:31:57.000 You're getting your money's worth.

01:31:57.000 You got your money.

01:31:59.000 You're getting your money's worth.

01:32:00.000 You want to sit at home, be sanitary, whatever, live like, you know, watching TV and you're scared.

01:32:05.000 They're going to bomb you.

01:32:06.000 You're done. 1.00

01:32:07.000 You got to keep fucking living. 1.00

01:32:09.000 Yeah, you got to do things. 0.99

01:32:11.000 That's the thing about life.

01:32:12.000 You got to do things.

01:32:13.000 Too many people just sit around wanting to do things and not doing anything.

01:32:17.000 It's hard to get moving, though.

01:32:19.000 That's what a lot of people find.

01:32:20.000 They find it's hard to go out to that club for that first open mic, step into that gym the first time.

01:32:26.000 Like D Rod, Daniel Rodriguez.

01:32:28.000 Did you see that podcast?

01:32:29.000 We talked about how we got arrested in Tijuana.

01:32:32.000 You know D Rod from the UFC?

01:32:34.000 Yeah.

01:32:35.000 So D Rod beats Kevin Holland, right?

01:32:38.000 Goes to San Diego celebrating, and his boy's like, Let's go to Tijuana. 0.99

01:32:42.000 Fuck yeah, let's go to Tijuana. 0.99

01:32:43.000 Just go to drink, have a good time. 1.00

01:32:45.000 He just won a huge fight.

01:32:47.000 Top 15 UFC welterweight.

01:32:50.000 Has an ounce of weed in his bag.

01:32:52.000 He thinks, well, weed's legal in California, weed's decriminalized in Mexico, who cares?

01:32:57.000 Maybe I'll bribe somebody, I'll get out of this.

01:32:59.000 It's a federal offense to bring weed in. 0.64

01:33:02.000 And even though weed's decriminalized in Mexico, it's not for visitors, it's only for Mexican citizens. 0.92

01:33:10.000 Yeah, bro.

01:33:11.000 How do you get out of that one?

01:33:12.000 Well, one of the things he had to do was become a Mexican citizen.

01:33:15.000 So he's got dual citizenship now.

01:33:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:33:18.000 He was in jail for fucking eight months, man. 1.00

01:33:20.000 Oh my God. 1.00

01:33:21.000 Yeah, he was just training in jail.

01:33:22.000 He looks great.

01:33:23.000 He looks great now.

01:33:24.000 But when he got out, he's like, I had no protein. 0.99

01:33:27.000 So I'm in there working out every day with fucking eating noodles and potato chips. 0.99

01:33:31.000 No protein. 0.99

01:33:32.000 No protein.

01:33:33.000 And so he got real thin.

01:33:35.000 Like he showed a photo of him like the day he got out. 1.00

01:33:37.000 I mean, this motherfucker was training every day, twice a day in jail. 0.99

01:33:41.000 He's like, I'm going to make the most out of this. 1.00

01:33:42.000 But he has no food.

01:33:45.000 The food's terrible.

01:33:46.000 So his body is wasted away.

01:33:47.000 I think I used to get protein.

01:33:48.000 He asked.

01:33:48.000 He couldn't.

01:33:49.000 He tried to get it. 0.99

01:33:50.000 He said, You can get fucking good food. 0.99

01:33:54.000 In Mexico. 0.99

01:33:55.000 Yeah.

01:33:55.000 In Mexico.

01:33:56.000 And he was a cellmate with a cartel guy.

01:33:59.000 The cartel guy took care of him.

01:34:00.000 The cartel guy recognized him.

01:34:01.000 Look, we'll take care of you, hang out with us.

01:34:03.000 And he just said, I'm going to just keep my nose down, just train.

01:34:06.000 But he said he got a bunch of guys training with him because they were inspired. 0.98

01:34:09.000 They're like, fuck yeah, let's train with D Rod. 0.97

01:34:11.000 So he had all these guys in there. 1.00

01:34:13.000 He said, some of them are fucking talented. 0.99

01:34:14.000 But prison's fun. 1.00

01:34:16.000 I don't give a fuck what anybody tells you. 0.99

01:34:19.000 Once you get to your destination and you meet your homies and you create a little thing, it's like anything else. 1.00

01:34:25.000 We just can't step out the walls.

01:34:27.000 But you make it happen.

01:34:28.000 Like, I laughed a lot in that, bro.

01:34:30.000 I laughed.

01:34:31.000 I bet you did. 1.00

01:34:32.000 Because nobody's funnier in prison than black people. 1.00

01:34:34.000 I don't give a fuck what they tell you. 1.00

01:34:36.000 They're the true kings of the prison system. 0.99

01:34:39.000 And I had the two best.

01:34:41.000 I had the two best.

01:34:42.000 And, you know, sometimes.

01:34:43.000 But that's when you first did stand up, right?

01:34:45.000 Mm hmm.

01:34:46.000 First did stand up just for the inmates.

01:34:47.000 Yeah, Wednesday, Thursday nights. 1.00

01:34:49.000 And then they'd just talk some shit. 1.00

01:34:50.000 During the movies, they would go, this movie sucks. 1.00

01:34:52.000 They'd be like, PT 109. 1.00

01:34:54.000 You know, we don't want to see fucking Kennedy in a movie. 1.00

01:34:56.000 Get up there, Cuba. 1.00

01:34:57.000 And I would just go up there and fuck around. 1.00

01:34:59.000 And it. 0.99

01:35:01.000 It was nothing that was I ever thought about anything like I You said something before thinking about the first time you went to that open mic boy was that scary for me terrifying took me eight months. 1.00

01:35:11.000 I was such a pussy. 0.89

01:35:13.000 I would call the comedy works in Denver every week and every week I'd cancel Joey did you have a three-minute spot? 1.00

01:35:18.000 Oh, I don't feel good Then my ex-wife God bless as much as I hate her.

01:35:23.000 She heard me on the phone and she has her mother to babysit and She drove me down and I got on saying I'm gonna be getting off that stage going how am I gonna do this?

01:35:32.000 I'm married with a kid.

01:35:34.000 And three months later, she came home. 1.00

01:35:35.000 She's like, You're a loser. 1.00

01:35:36.000 I don't want to be married to you no more. 1.00

01:35:37.000 I'm like, Yes. 1.00

01:35:39.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

01:35:41.000 You just did me fucking solid. 1.00

01:35:44.000 Then she did me shitty afterward. 0.99

01:35:45.000 But the point is, she at least got me to that open mic.

01:35:48.000 So I have to be grateful for something that she did, you know?

01:35:51.000 It's the first step's the hard one.

01:35:54.000 What I was saying about D Rod, the first time he ever went to the gym, his girlfriend got him a membership.

01:36:01.000 She was like, He's.

01:36:02.000 Drove by it a bunch of times.

01:36:04.000 He thought about training, never went in.

01:36:06.000 He had a bunch of street fights, never went in.

01:36:08.000 He's like, I think I could do that.

01:36:10.000 And then finally, she's like, Look, I got your present.

01:36:13.000 I got your membership.

01:36:14.000 Hold that thought.

01:36:15.000 Can I go pee real quick?

01:36:16.000 We're at the two hour mark.

01:36:17.000 We'll be right back.

01:36:18.000 We'll be right back.

01:36:19.000 I got to go pee.

01:36:20.000 And we're back.

01:36:23.000 That was a tremendous pee.

01:36:25.000 Oh, my God.

01:36:27.000 The worst is when you try to concentrate and you have to piss.

01:36:29.000 No, that's the worst.

01:36:30.000 You can't force yourself. 1.00

01:36:31.000 That's the fucking worst. 1.00

01:36:32.000 You have to drive and shit and you got to pee. 1.00

01:36:34.000 And I'm to an age where I just pull over. 1.00

01:36:37.000 Yeah?

01:36:38.000 Highway, whatever.

01:36:39.000 I open up the bolt doors and I make believe I'm looking for something. 1.00

01:36:42.000 And that dick is out peeing. 0.99

01:36:44.000 I pee on the little leaf field. 1.00

01:36:45.000 Now, I got after surgery, they gave me a handicapped parking.

01:36:49.000 I'm living like a doctor.

01:36:52.000 You don't know what life is until you have handicapped parking, dog. 1.00

01:36:56.000 You just pull right up.

01:36:57.000 There's always a spot.

01:36:59.000 Always.

01:37:00.000 Yeah.

01:37:00.000 Like four feet away.

01:37:02.000 When I got in the mail, dog, I was happier.

01:37:05.000 That made me so happy. 1.00

01:37:07.000 Fuck walking. 1.00

01:37:08.000 When I go to events now in Philadelphia, I just pull up and shit. 1.00

01:37:12.000 Put a neck brace on, walk out and shit. 1.00

01:37:15.000 Oh, it's been beautiful, Joe. 1.00

01:37:17.000 What do you have to do to get one of those?

01:37:18.000 The doctor.

01:37:19.000 That's it.

01:37:20.000 So the doctor was like, do you have it after surgery?

01:37:22.000 I get it for you for six months.

01:37:24.000 And then he goes, hold on one second.

01:37:25.000 He went online.

01:37:26.000 He's like, dog, you qualify for everything.

01:37:29.000 You got everything on this list.

01:37:31.000 Go.

01:37:31.000 Everything.

01:37:32.000 And they gave it to me for fucking like three years. 0.97

01:37:34.000 Oh, nice. 0.98

01:37:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:37:36.000 I fucking, oh, tremendous, Joe. 0.99

01:37:39.000 You're all right? 0.99

01:37:39.000 How does it feel right now? 0.99

01:37:40.000 Yeah, it feels okay.

01:37:41.000 I just, listen, what happens is you do something every week.

01:37:45.000 Like the second week I went, third week I went, a couple weeks I went boxing.

01:37:50.000 And it was good for like three times.

01:37:52.000 And one day I went and I had a plan 25 minutes, eight rounds on the bag or the speed bag.

01:37:58.000 But I do the bags and I alternate the bags.

01:38:00.000 Sure enough, round number six, one of the guys comes over and he goes, Joey, let's hit the mitts.

01:38:04.000 I'm excited.

01:38:05.000 You know, he's a young guy.

01:38:06.000 Let's do it. 0.99

01:38:07.000 I left there and my fucking leg blew up from that right punch to cross because everything walks into it. 0.99

01:38:12.000 You're also moving around when you're doing it. 1.00

01:38:13.000 You're moving around. 1.00

01:38:14.000 So I said, fuck it. 1.00

01:38:15.000 Now I got to stand in front of the bag. 1.00

01:38:16.000 So I learned my lesson. 1.00

01:38:18.000 And then last week I went to PT and that motherfucker had me. 0.99

01:38:22.000 I mean, I love him. 0.99

01:38:24.000 TJ, this motherfucker had me doing deadlifts and wall squats with a thing with your weight on the back. 0.99

01:38:31.000 So it's all just to strengthen the muscles back and forth? 0.99

01:38:34.000 You have to.

01:38:34.000 You have to strengthen.

01:38:35.000 But I prepped.

01:38:36.000 I listened to you guys.

01:38:37.000 I, you know, I did everything I could before the surgery.

01:38:40.000 That's what made it easier.

01:38:42.000 Made it a lot easier.

01:38:43.000 I called you. 0.99

01:38:44.000 I told you I was doing shit in five days. 0.99

01:38:46.000 I didn't have a cane no more. 0.99

01:38:47.000 You know, I was done.

01:38:48.000 I started driving at eight days. 0.82

01:38:50.000 Not because I couldn't, but because I was sick and tired of my wife driving me places. 1.00

01:38:54.000 And then I got to, you know, Argue with her in the right hand lane. 1.00

01:38:57.000 No problem? 1.00

01:38:58.000 Yeah, like a motherfucker. 1.00

01:38:59.000 Wow. 1.00

01:39:00.000 That's crazy.

01:39:00.000 So it was the right foot, which is the accelerator brake combo.

01:39:03.000 So, yeah.

01:39:05.000 But, yeah, I was out of the house.

01:39:06.000 You know, the pain pills were done after eight days.

01:39:09.000 Then I had to bring them back for PT. 0.98

01:39:11.000 They were fucking killing me after PT. 0.97

01:39:14.000 So after PT, you pop one, go home, put ice on it, rub it down with the cream, and stay off it for an hour or two. 0.99

01:39:21.000 But then at night, I take a walk around the neighborhood. 1.00

01:39:23.000 You're trying to strengthen this shit. 1.00

01:39:25.000 You know, we're talking about it outside. 1.00

01:39:25.000 Right, right. 1.00

01:39:27.000 Let's say you're in a hospital for five days. 1.00

01:39:29.000 And you eat cereal for five fucking days. 1.00

01:39:31.000 You gain weight. 1.00

01:39:33.000 Your muscle breaks down and goes away. 1.00

01:39:35.000 Like five days staying in a hospital could fucking kill you. 0.99

01:39:38.000 Just because, again, there's not that much protein. 0.99

01:39:40.000 You're not getting 150 grams of protein a day.

01:39:43.000 And you're not moving.

01:39:44.000 And you're not moving.

01:39:45.000 That's the big one.

01:39:46.000 I prepped for the surgery.

01:39:47.000 I took all the supplements Waystoolwell told me.

01:39:50.000 Everything.

01:39:51.000 Bezberine. 1.00

01:39:52.000 I took shit. 1.00

01:39:53.000 My fucking piss is like glows in the dark at night. 1.00

01:39:55.000 Purple, yellow. 1.00

01:39:57.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.95

01:39:58.000 I did all my PTs, all my BPCs, 157, all my TB500s. 0.99

01:40:04.000 I did them for fucking to the T like they told me to. 0.98

01:40:08.000 And, you know, listen, I'm 63 and it's a 63 year old knee. 0.98

01:40:12.000 So I don't expect to be in the UFC fighting Noguera next week. 0.99

01:40:15.000 But I could walk around and enjoy life with no fucking pain. 0.97

01:40:19.000 Or, no, it's not pain. 0.99

01:40:20.000 You always have an issue.

01:40:21.000 You know it.

01:40:22.000 Yeah.

01:40:23.000 You always have that thing with your knee.

01:40:24.000 Sometimes it sticks. 1.00

01:40:26.000 Well, then you got to do simple shit. 0.99

01:40:28.000 You got to get a piece of paper, put it on the floor, and just roll your heel back and forth 20 times and do kicks when you're sitting around. 0.99

01:40:35.000 All those things help the knee.

01:40:36.000 You get that band and you put it on your leg and you just straighten out your leg.

01:40:41.000 I do that at home. 0.99

01:40:42.000 This is shit I do at home, you know, instead of watching TV. 1.00

01:40:44.000 It takes 15 fucking minutes. 1.00

01:40:46.000 15 fucking minutes of your time. 1.00

01:40:48.000 And I got the bull worker. 1.00

01:40:49.000 They sent me a bull worker.

01:40:50.000 What's that? 1.00

01:40:51.000 The thing I told you last time about isometric shit. 1.00

01:40:54.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

01:40:55.000 So I did the bull worker.

01:40:56.000 I did the deadlifts at the bull worker. 0.99

01:40:58.000 Now I'm fucked because I don't know how to change the strings. 0.99

01:41:01.000 So I got to learn how to fucking change the strings. 0.99

01:41:03.000 But that's all it was. 0.99

01:41:04.000 It was preparing for the surgery.

01:41:06.000 You can't just go in there and not strengthen the little muscles around the area.

01:41:06.000 Right.

01:41:11.000 Yeah.

01:41:12.000 That's it.

01:41:13.000 Yeah, you got to do something.

01:41:15.000 It's very important, especially if you're going to go into surgery.

01:41:17.000 I know a lot of people that have had knee surgery and didn't do that.

01:41:20.000 They won't go to PT.

01:41:22.000 It's like, you don't go to PT. 1.00

01:41:24.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

01:41:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:26.000 They came, listen, I had the surgery Thursday. 0.99

01:41:28.000 They were in my house knocking Friday fucking afternoon. 0.90

01:41:31.000 I was home Friday from the hospital and they said, they're coming over today. 1.00

01:41:36.000 That motherfucker had me going up and downstairs, walking outside with the cane, getting in and out of the tub. 0.99

01:41:42.000 I don't even have a tub. 1.00

01:41:43.000 I have a walking child.

01:41:44.000 But he was like, I'm going to do everything with you. 0.98

01:41:47.000 So it was pretty fucking, like I said, this surgery was a lot better. 0.97

01:41:51.000 The company. 0.98

01:41:52.000 I did business with it was a lot better.

01:41:55.000 Last time I did it at Center State, that's like a medical network in New Jersey.

01:42:00.000 Not bad.

01:42:00.000 They have a great facility there, but, you know, when I went to do the surgery, my acupuncturist said, when you go talk to that guy the day before the surgery, ask him about the sanitary conditions at the hospital.

01:42:13.000 So when I went, I said, hey, what's the sanitary conditions at the hospital?

01:42:16.000 He's like, ah, you hear rumors.

01:42:19.000 And then when I went for the surgery, they prepped me up.

01:42:22.000 They gave me everything.

01:42:23.000 They gave me the IV.

01:42:24.000 They were right about to do that.

01:42:25.000 Thing in my back.

01:42:27.000 And he said, We're not doing the surgery.

01:42:28.000 I don't agree with the sanitaire.

01:42:30.000 I was pissed, but I'm like happy.

01:42:32.000 I could have ended up doing it.

01:42:33.000 The doctor didn't agree with the sanitary conditions?

01:42:35.000 He came out and said, No, not today.

01:42:37.000 We'll do it next week at a different hospital.

01:42:40.000 What?

01:42:41.000 Yeah.

01:42:42.000 So were people getting Mercer or something?

01:42:43.000 Something.

01:42:44.000 They had Mercer in there.

01:42:45.000 And they're like, No.

01:42:46.000 Everybody was telling me, Be careful with the Mercer in that hospital. 0.99

01:42:48.000 Oh, Mercer's fucking terrifying. 0.95

01:42:50.000 But the funny thing was, he gave me a 20 milligram oxy, which they never gave you. 1.00

01:42:54.000 That's a strong motherfucker. 0.99

01:42:56.000 I forgot I took it. 1.00

01:42:56.000 Remember I told you? 1.00

01:42:57.000 Yeah.

01:42:57.000 I forgot.

01:42:58.000 I'm going to Chinese restaurant. 1.00

01:42:59.000 Yelling, Chino! 1.00

01:43:00.000 I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? 1.00

01:43:02.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

01:43:03.000 I took that 20. 1.00

01:43:04.000 I was fucked up for eight hours on that thing. 0.97

01:43:06.000 So they give it to you before the surgery? 0.99

01:43:08.000 Yeah, just one of the precautions.

01:43:09.000 They did that.

01:43:10.000 A precaution?

01:43:11.000 Yeah, precaution, whatever. 1.00

01:43:12.000 So you didn't wake up in the middle of the surgery yelling and fucking screaming like a pussy. 1.00

01:43:18.000 They do that. 1.00

01:43:19.000 The epidural was tough because I felt it in my nutsack.

01:43:23.000 Like, they give you a couple shots, and one of those shots made me actually go like this because I felt it on the bottom towards the end of the nutsack, not in the meat and potatoes part.

01:43:32.000 But towards the end, close to the muffler.

01:43:38.000 I was like, this is not bueno, dog.

01:43:41.000 What is the thing they do?

01:43:43.000 I saw this video online about it.

01:43:45.000 It's like, I think it's called nerve ablation.

01:43:47.000 I might be making that up.

01:43:49.000 But they literally like cut the nerves off when people have back pain.

01:43:53.000 Like some people with back pain, it's like they're in constant nerve pain.

01:43:56.000 And they were showing how they just snip the nerves.

01:44:00.000 And I was like, wait a minute.

01:44:02.000 Does that hinder your movement?

01:44:04.000 Like, what happens there?

01:44:06.000 Is this it?

01:44:08.000 So, what is that?

01:44:08.000 Yeah.

01:44:10.000 Radio frequency ablation for back pain management.

01:44:13.000 What does it mean?

01:44:14.000 Like, what do they do?

01:44:16.000 Because the way I was looking at it online, I'm like, it looks like they just cut the nerves.

01:44:20.000 A minimally invasive outpatient procedure uses heat to intentionally damage nerves carrying pain signals from the spine to the brain.

01:44:28.000 Primarily provides long lasting relief for chronic back pain caused by arthritis or facet joint degeneration.

01:44:36.000 Wow.

01:44:37.000 But does that mean your back just keeps getting worse, but you don't feel it?

01:44:43.000 What happens when you do that?

01:44:44.000 Duration.

01:44:47.000 Back, please.

01:44:48.000 The procedure typically takes 30 to 60 minutes.

01:44:50.000 You could usually go home the same day.

01:44:53.000 Pain relief is not immediate, it often takes one to three weeks for the nerve to fully settle.

01:44:57.000 Relief typically lasts anywhere from six to 12 months, although it can last for several years for some patients.

01:45:03.000 Are the nerves permanently destroyed?

01:45:05.000 No, the nerves regenerate over time.

01:45:07.000 When the nerve grows back, your pain may return, but the procedure can be repeated.

01:45:12.000 What is the recovery and risks?

01:45:14.000 What's the risks?

01:45:16.000 Complications are rare, but include infection, bleeding at the insertion site, temporary numbness, or skin irritation.

01:45:23.000 Oh, normal stuff.

01:45:25.000 Huh.

01:45:27.000 Interesting.

01:45:27.000 Paint?

01:45:28.000 That's nuts, man.

01:45:29.000 Just shut off the pain.

01:45:30.000 You kind of want to know if it hurts, though, no?

01:45:33.000 I would imagine you're doing more damage if it hurts.

01:45:38.000 Right?

01:45:38.000 It's like cortisol.

01:45:39.000 You're numbing it.

01:45:40.000 Right.

01:45:40.000 And then it keeps getting worse, but you don't feel.

01:45:43.000 Well, especially cortisone.

01:45:44.000 With cortisone, you can only do that so many times for joints.

01:45:49.000 It can degrade tendons and stuff.

01:45:52.000 Because some people, they're knuckleheads, they just keep getting cortisone shots.

01:45:55.000 Next thing you know, your shoulder falls apart.

01:45:56.000 You don't know.

01:45:57.000 That's the worst thing.

01:45:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:45:59.000 You could tear shit down. 0.99

01:46:00.000 And that's what they'll let you do if you let them. 0.99

01:46:02.000 So, this is what I'm saying.

01:46:03.000 Unless you check out what options.

01:46:05.000 Listen, it's 2026, man.

01:46:08.000 I'm scared of needles. 0.99

01:46:09.000 And I'll tell you, half my life, I fucked up because I was scared of needles. 0.99

01:46:13.000 If I would have just. 0.99

01:46:15.000 I don't know what it was.

01:46:16.000 I was just scared of needles. 1.00

01:46:18.000 Now, I'll fucking take a needle wherever the fuck you want to give it to me. 1.00

01:46:21.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:46:23.000 Like, now you can shoot me while I'm standing up. 0.94

01:46:25.000 I don't. 1.00

01:46:25.000 Once you get used to doing peptides, needles don't mean shit. 1.00

01:46:28.000 And those are just diabetic needles. 1.00

01:46:29.000 They don't do fucking shit. 0.99

01:46:30.000 It's good to stop taking medicine if you don't want to take it. 1.00

01:46:33.000 Ah, that makes sense.

01:46:35.000 So, if you're in pain anyway.

01:46:36.000 Yeah.

01:46:37.000 So, a success rate is 70 to 85%.

01:46:41.000 It's most stressful when the procedure targets the medial branch nerves responsible for facet joint arthritis.

01:46:47.000 Success typically defined as 50% or greater reduction in lower back pain, better physical function, reduced need for pain medication.

01:46:55.000 That's big. 0.99

01:46:56.000 Because some people, they're just fucking, especially back stuff. 0.99

01:46:59.000 Some people are just in agony every day. 0.99

01:47:02.000 They wake up and they're just in agony. 1.00

01:47:04.000 And it's a long road back, you know, to getting, if you have back pain, it's a long road to heal that shit. 0.99

01:47:12.000 And you got to be very, very smart about it. 0.99

01:47:14.000 And you got to stretch.

01:47:15.000 That's one thing that a lot of people don't like to do.

01:47:17.000 A lot of lower back pain, a lot of that is just everything's tight. 0.99

01:47:22.000 And you can stretch and relieve a lot of that shit. 0.99

01:47:25.000 A lot of that. 0.99

01:47:26.000 Yoga comes in handy.

01:47:27.000 You don't go anymore, do you?

01:47:28.000 You don't go anymore.

01:47:29.000 I do a lot of yoga things, though.

01:47:31.000 At your house?

01:47:31.000 I haven't, yeah.

01:47:32.000 We actually have a yoga room in the studio.

01:47:34.000 I've never used it.

01:47:35.000 We've got a heated room. 0.99

01:47:37.000 We could crank that fucker up to 105 degrees and do yoga. 0.99

01:47:40.000 I haven't done the real life. 0.99

01:47:41.000 I'll tell you what else I did after the surgery that worked.

01:47:43.000 Hyperbaric chamber.

01:47:45.000 That's big.

01:47:45.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:46.000 I did that twice a week.

01:47:47.000 I still got six left.

01:47:48.000 For recovery, that's fantastic.

01:47:50.000 And my oxygen levels are always low, Joe.

01:47:53.000 I got to figure.

01:47:53.000 I got to talk to Waze too well tomorrow.

01:47:55.000 Every morning I wake up, 88%.

01:47:58.000 You know, I'm always in the red zone. 0.99

01:47:59.000 I got to, because I think lack of oxygen is helping me burn fat and a lot of other shit. 0.89

01:48:05.000 My oxygen's at 88 some days.

01:48:07.000 85.

01:48:09.000 Why would that help you burn fat?

01:48:10.000 Because you need oxygen to do everything. 1.00

01:48:12.000 You need oxygen for a fucking fire. 0.99

01:48:14.000 So if you have low oxygen, you burn fat? 1.00

01:48:16.000 How can you recuperate? 1.00

01:48:17.000 How can you fully recuperate with no oxygen in your fucking. 1.00

01:48:21.000 I think. 1.00

01:48:21.000 I don't fucking know. 1.00

01:48:24.000 I'm not sure that's correct. 0.97

01:48:25.000 But I think that the more you exercise, the more you're going to get oxygen in your system for sure.

01:48:34.000 Hyperbaric chamber will help.

01:48:35.000 But once you're fully healed up.

01:48:38.000 And you can really exercise on a regular basis, it'll get back to normal.

01:48:42.000 Nah, because I do breath exercises every morning.

01:48:44.000 That's what you have to do.

01:48:45.000 You have to breathe through your nose like 10 times and then hold it.

01:48:48.000 And then I take the.

01:48:49.000 What do they think is causing it?

01:48:50.000 The low oxygen?

01:48:51.000 They don't know.

01:48:52.000 They don't know nothing.

01:48:52.000 They don't know.

01:48:53.000 They don't know nothing.

01:48:54.000 They don't want to find out nothing.

01:48:55.000 But I'll take the cord and the clip that you put on your finger, I put it on my ear.

01:48:59.000 It gives you a better read.

01:49:03.000 What's more accurate?

01:49:05.000 So far, the ear for me. 0.97

01:49:06.000 I learned that from an old Filipino lady in the hospital. 1.00

01:49:09.000 She had all the tricks. 1.00

01:49:11.000 So I do that.

01:49:12.000 You know, when I wake up in the morning, I have it.

01:49:12.000 I test it.

01:49:14.000 I check my blood pressure like twice a day. 0.99

01:49:16.000 It's the best in 20 fucking years. 0.99

01:49:19.000 I think some of those Fitbits can do that shit now. 1.00

01:49:21.000 Can they do that? 1.00

01:49:22.000 What?

01:49:23.000 Do they measure oxygen levels?

01:49:26.000 No.

01:49:27.000 Some of those really advanced wearable devices can measure oxygen levels too now, I think.

01:49:34.000 Is that real?

01:49:36.000 Yeah, yeah, they all do.

01:49:38.000 That's part of the deal.

01:49:38.000 They all do.

01:49:39.000 They measure your heart rate, heart rate variable.

01:49:43.000 Like those wearables, like the wrist stuff?

01:49:44.000 Yeah.

01:49:45.000 Oh, really?

01:49:45.000 So, I'll tell you what I got in mind.

01:49:47.000 I got, uh, what the fuck in the mornings? 0.99

01:49:50.000 It tells you. 0.99

01:49:51.000 What are you wearing?

01:49:52.000 A whoop?

01:49:52.000 A whoop, yeah.

01:49:53.000 The whoop tests oxygen levels?

01:49:53.000 What does that?

01:49:57.000 No.

01:49:59.000 It has respiratory rate?

01:50:01.000 I got to get back on the whoop.

01:50:02.000 I used to use it all the time.

01:50:05.000 They've gotten even better.

01:50:06.000 Yeah, this one is a lot better.

01:50:07.000 My heart rate's good today.

01:50:09.000 My oxygen's 91 because I'm here with you. 0.99

01:50:12.000 And my skin temperature is minus one, so it takes all that shit. 0.98

01:50:17.000 My problem with wearables is all these tattoos. 0.97

01:50:20.000 So, like this, oh, okay, it's reading it now.

01:50:23.000 This reads my heart rate.

01:50:24.000 This is a Garmin.

01:50:25.000 It reads my heart rate.

01:50:27.000 Now it's not.

01:50:28.000 Like, it doesn't read through the tattoos very well.

01:50:30.000 I have to, like, move it around to get it right. 0.99

01:50:32.000 That's fucking insane. 0.98

01:50:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:34.000 That's fucking insane. 1.00

01:50:35.000 You can't read through the tattoos because the ink's in the way. 0.99

01:50:40.000 It's literally using some sort of a visual system.

01:50:45.000 It's light.

01:50:45.000 Like, if you look at the back of the watch, there's, like, a light back there.

01:50:51.000 See?

01:50:51.000 Yeah, I am the same.

01:50:52.000 That is flashing into your veins, and then it somehow or another gets information from that.

01:50:59.000 And that's how it tells you to grab the same thing.

01:51:02.000 Yeah, so the problem is all these tattoos.

01:51:04.000 I thought about removing my tattoos just around the circle where the watch goes.

01:51:10.000 Just go get it lasered.

01:51:12.000 I might do it.

01:51:14.000 Because I don't see that anyway.

01:51:15.000 I always have a watch on.

01:51:18.000 And so now it's reading. 0.99

01:51:19.000 They're speaking about burning your nerves and all that shit and that thing. 0.99

01:51:23.000 I remember one year I had a fungi. 0.99

01:51:23.000 Mm hmm. 0.99

01:51:26.000 I still got a fungi toenail, but I had the really bad fungi toenail.

01:51:30.000 And I saw a thing in Groupon for a company in Studio City that blowtorched it with heat for six sessions.

01:51:36.000 To kill the fungus?

01:51:37.000 Yeah, no, it never worked.

01:51:39.000 But I went anyway. 1.00

01:51:40.000 The lady would put like a mask on. 1.00

01:51:43.000 And she'd look at my toenails like you could see a fucking. 1.00

01:51:46.000 And as she was burning it, you could smell the fungus burning. 1.00

01:51:49.000 It smells like dead fucking assholes. 1.00

01:51:53.000 And she would be there. 1.00

01:51:54.000 And I would ask her questions. 0.99

01:51:56.000 So she'd have to pull the mask off. 1.00

01:52:02.000 Take a whiff of this fucking fungi toenail. 1.00

01:52:05.000 Oh, there's times I buff it out myself now because nobody will buff it out for me. 1.00

01:52:09.000 Like, I can't take it to a Chinese woman. 1.00

01:52:11.000 They'll lose their mind. 1.00

01:52:12.000 Can't you put like anti fungus cream on it?

01:52:14.000 I put everything on it.

01:52:15.000 This fungus runs deep.

01:52:15.000 It's too deep.

01:52:18.000 This is the fungus I brought back from Cuba. 0.99

01:52:21.000 And it fucking pops up from time to time. 0.99

01:52:23.000 I get under my tit. 0.99

01:52:24.000 Like, it just, the fungus just grows.

01:52:26.000 I don't know what I have to eat.

01:52:27.000 Like, some days I eat something and it backfires and I get all these fungus marks. 0.95

01:52:32.000 I got all itchy and shit out of a creep. 1.00

01:52:36.000 But this bitch burnt that toe for six weeks, and every week I would ask her more creepy questions. 1.00

01:52:42.000 She would have to take that mask off and smell that fungus. 1.00

01:52:46.000 Dog, it was horrible.

01:52:48.000 When she would walk out, she closed the door.

01:52:50.000 Like, I was like, nope.

01:52:53.000 And the thing never worked. 0.99

01:52:54.000 She never burned me once, but she was serious with that blowtorch.

01:52:57.000 It didn't work? 0.92

01:52:58.000 No, it did nothing.

01:52:59.000 I told you, the fungus is too deep. 0.98

01:53:01.000 So to get rid of that, you have to do a liver test to see how strong, because the zapping is fucking hard on your body. 0.87

01:53:08.000 And it's really hard on your liver.

01:53:09.000 So my liver didn't cut it.

01:53:11.000 So they can't zap me with that medication. 0.93

01:53:14.000 Did you hear about that lady who had Alzheimer's? 0.91

01:53:17.000 She couldn't talk anymore. 0.93

01:53:18.000 They gave her five grams of psilocybin mushrooms.

01:53:21.000 And she's singing an opera now.

01:53:23.000 All of a sudden she came back.

01:53:24.000 It's unbelievable.

01:53:24.000 Was she talking?

01:53:26.000 They said she hadn't talked in a long time.

01:53:29.000 She could remember things?

01:53:31.000 I know for a fact.

01:53:32.000 I got a good buddy of mine that studded.

01:53:34.000 That was his childhood thing. 1.00

01:53:36.000 Every time you smoke crack, you should have seen that motherfucker. 1.00

01:53:38.000 Not a strut. 1.00

01:53:39.000 In there, he talks to you straight.

01:53:41.000 Paul, you know, Paul Stamitz, the mushroom expert.

01:53:43.000 He's been on this podcast many times.

01:53:45.000 He's a legitimate mycologist, like a scientist.

01:53:48.000 He had a horrible stutter when he was a kid.

01:53:51.000 Took 10 grams.

01:53:52.000 Gone.

01:53:54.000 And people will still go, no, no, no.

01:53:54.000 It's unreal.

01:53:56.000 Mushrooms are deadly.

01:53:57.000 They're going to kill you. 1.00

01:53:58.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:53:59.000 You need to see the devil every once in a while in your life. 1.00

01:53:59.000 Isn't that crazy? 1.00

01:54:02.000 And that's what people don't.

01:54:03.000 They don't see the downside.

01:54:04.000 Because eating those mushrooms from time to time makes you step out, like THC does, and makes you look at yourself. 0.99

01:54:10.000 And make like a judgment call on what the fuck you're doing with your life. 0.99

01:54:13.000 What are you doing with your life? 1.00

01:54:14.000 You're chewing that fucking zin and talking at the same time? 1.00

01:54:16.000 Yeah, I don't know. 1.00

01:54:17.000 I don't have big enough fucking gums, I guess. 0.99

01:54:19.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:54:20.000 Don't stay there.

01:54:21.000 Yeah, it's the real problem is that it's illegal.

01:54:24.000 You know what they should do with that?

01:54:25.000 You know what they did with Colorado with 39% tax?

01:54:29.000 Make mushrooms 100%.

01:54:31.000 Tax it 100%.

01:54:32.000 We'll still buy them.

01:54:33.000 People will still buy it.

01:54:34.000 Make it legal, tax it 100%. 0.99

01:54:35.000 You know how much fucking money they would generate? 0.97

01:54:38.000 And I guarantee you, well, I was going to say people wouldn't be doing more mushrooms, but they definitely would. 0.99

01:54:45.000 But it'd be good for everybody.

01:54:46.000 Listen, the only thing that stalls people from mushrooms is the taste.

01:54:49.000 Most people put it in the grinder and then they put it in capsules and they do it that way.

01:54:53.000 All different tastes.

01:54:54.000 That should not be a hurdle in 2020.

01:54:55.000 When you told me you were going to get that property a couple years ago, which you didn't get, I thought you were going to grow mushrooms out there.

01:55:02.000 Like, get somebody to set it up and Joe Rogan's mushrooms.

01:55:05.000 Well, I would never do that. 1.00

01:55:06.000 With your fucking recipe, like. 1.00

01:55:08.000 No, that's not legal. 1.00

01:55:11.000 Not in Texas.

01:55:12.000 It's not legal federally.

01:55:14.000 That's the problem.

01:55:15.000 I mean, this is part of what Trump is trying to change with this Psychedelics Act. 0.99

01:55:19.000 So, all that shit was made illegal in 1970. 0.98

01:55:23.000 It was the Nixon administration, the Controlled Substances Act. 0.99

01:55:26.000 If that hadn't happened in 1970, we would be living in a better world.

01:55:31.000 Like, legitimately, we would be living in a better world.

01:55:34.000 You'd have way more people having access to this stuff, way more people that could get over whatever the fuck their hurdle is, whatever problem they have, whatever it is.

01:55:42.000 It's not for everybody, there's a lot of people that shouldn't do it. 0.94

01:55:46.000 There's a lot of people that are schizophrenic and that they just need one mushroom trip and they're gone.

01:55:51.000 One point.

01:55:52.000 And they're never coming back.

01:55:53.000 There's a lot of people that are hanging on.

01:55:54.000 They're hanging on.

01:55:55.000 And one edible, one mushroom trip, one meeting with the devil, and they never come back. 1.00

01:56:04.000 But those people were already fucked. 1.00

01:56:04.000 That's true. 1.00

01:56:06.000 That's the problem.

01:56:06.000 But for the rest of us, for the rest of the world, which is like most things, like some people eat a Brazil nut, they're dead, right?

01:56:15.000 Some people eat peanuts and they're dead.

01:56:17.000 They have a deadly allergy to peanuts.

01:56:20.000 I could eat peanuts all day long. 1.00

01:56:21.000 Can you look up how many people have diarrhea from fucking peanuts? 1.00

01:56:24.000 It's quite a few. 1.00

01:56:25.000 Yeah, it's quite a few.

01:56:25.000 Come on.

01:56:26.000 It's kind of shocking.

01:56:28.000 Why?

01:56:29.000 Well, here's the really crazy thing.

01:56:31.000 A lot of people think it has to do with vaccines.

01:56:34.000 They think this is Brett Weinstein's proposal is that when you take that vaccine, so there's aluminum in the vaccine that's an irritant, right?

01:56:43.000 And this is what fires up your immune system, and then there's the dead virus.

01:56:46.000 So your body develops these.

01:56:48.000 Look at that.

01:56:49.000 One to four annually.

01:56:50.000 It's a lot of people.

01:56:51.000 It's a lot of people.

01:56:51.000 Huh?

01:56:53.000 No.

01:56:53.000 Four people?

01:56:54.000 Four whole people.

01:56:55.000 What about in the world?

01:56:56.000 How many people die?

01:56:57.000 About four in the world, because none of them die anywhere else.

01:57:01.000 Food allergies in general are responsible for about 100 deaths. 1.00

01:57:04.000 Yeah, this is all made up white people's shit. 1.00

01:57:08.000 Well, there's a few people, though, they just avoid the peanuts. 1.00

01:57:11.000 But there are people that, if they get peanuts, they'll die.

01:57:14.000 Brett Weinstein thinks it has to do with eating peanuts right after you've been vaccinated.

01:57:19.000 And that something, I don't know if he's right, but something about your body reacting, this is the reason why your body creates this antibody to the dead virus that's in the vaccine.

01:57:29.000 You know, if you give someone whatever it is, figure out whatever the disease is, you have a dead virus and then you have this irritant. 0.94

01:57:37.000 So, the two of them together, your body reacts to this aluminum, and it used to be what is the other shit they don't put in it?

01:57:47.000 There was mercury, ethylmercury, and methylmercury, the two different types of mercury they've tried to do that in vaccines. 0.83

01:57:54.000 But there's problems with that too, obviously.

01:57:56.000 Mercury is toxic, so is aluminum.

01:57:58.000 But he thinks that if you have aluminum from this vaccine and you're in contact with other things at the same time, you could develop an analogy for those things, whether it's wheat.

01:58:09.000 Gluten, whether it's animals, whatever it is.

01:58:12.000 Like, it's possible, he believes, to develop an allergy when you get vaccinated.

01:58:17.000 And he thinks that's with the rise in vaccines and the rise in food allergies, he thinks those are connected.

01:58:22.000 Let me ask you this.

01:58:23.000 I don't know if he's right. 1.00

01:58:24.000 If you went to your grandfather in Newark, he's an immigrant and came over and you told him you had a peanut allergy, how many times would he smack you in the fucking face? 0.99

01:58:34.000 Well, he wasn't a violent man. 1.00

01:58:35.000 But still, he'd go, Joe, what the fuck? 0.99

01:58:35.000 He was very. 0.99

01:58:37.000 Peanuts.

01:58:38.000 He would make fun of it.

01:58:39.000 I grew up on pine nuts. 1.00

01:58:39.000 I'm going to eat peanuts every fucking day. 1.00

01:58:41.000 Two pine nuts. 1.00

01:58:42.000 I'm going to eat.

01:58:43.000 I was loyal to maple syrup.

01:58:44.000 Well, the idea of being allergic to bread back then was preposterous.

01:58:47.000 First of all, he would get bread like every two days.

01:58:51.000 They would go down to the local Italian bakery and buy Italian bread.

01:58:55.000 It's the only bread everybody ate in the house.

01:58:57.000 It's so funny.

01:58:58.000 Like, I didn't even appreciate it back then. 0.99

01:59:00.000 Like, when I'd have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'd be like, why do they give it to me on this bullshit thick bread? 0.99

01:59:04.000 Because you got to cut the bread. 0.99

01:59:05.000 Yeah.

01:59:05.000 You know?

01:59:06.000 I'd be like, give me some fucking white bread like a real person. 1.00

01:59:09.000 Well, some Wonder Bread. 1.00

01:59:10.000 That's what I wanted.

01:59:10.000 When you're a kid, you want Wonder Bread.

01:59:12.000 Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a white bread.

01:59:12.000 I love Wonder Bread.

01:59:14.000 Like, I'd get whole wheat. 1.00

01:59:15.000 I'd be like, what is This horse shit. 1.00

01:59:17.000 What is this terrible, fucking, shitty, bran filled wheat with all the fucking chunks of wheat that's in it? 1.00

01:59:17.000 I think you'd be in prison. 1.00

01:59:25.000 Get the fuck out of here with your whole wheat bread. 1.00

01:59:28.000 I hated it. 1.00

01:59:29.000 Now I love it.

01:59:30.000 Now it's the only, like, if I see, like, regular white bread, I'm like, ugh, I've never eaten that.

01:59:33.000 Let me ask you this that bread that your grandfather was getting.

01:59:36.000 In Hoboken, in Newark.

01:59:36.000 Yeah.

01:59:38.000 Two blocks away.

01:59:38.000 Newark, yeah.

01:59:39.000 They were old school Italian people. 1.00

01:59:41.000 They made everything in the 70s and 60s without all the shit that's in now. 1.00

01:59:44.000 I remember the bags. 0.98

01:59:45.000 Yeah.

01:59:46.000 White paperback.

01:59:47.000 Yeah, and the pasta sauce.

01:59:47.000 White paperback.

01:59:48.000 And the bread tastes great.

01:59:49.000 Oh, it's phenomenal. 0.99

01:59:50.000 They're fucking great. 0.99

01:59:51.000 With a piece of butter. 0.99

01:59:53.000 Oh, and the red sauce. 1.00

01:59:54.000 You go fucking crazy. 1.00

01:59:55.000 With butter, you put butter on that bread and you dip it in that pasta sauce. 1.00

01:59:55.000 So good. 1.00

01:59:59.000 Holy shit. 0.99

02:00:00.000 So I had to stop eating mussels. 0.99

02:00:02.000 Right?

02:00:03.000 That's my favorite dish.

02:00:04.000 Mussels with spicy, with medium.

02:00:06.000 Yeah, because you can eat a loaf of bread. 0.98

02:00:08.000 My body can't fucking do that no more. 0.98

02:00:10.000 Especially with the red sauce. 0.98

02:00:11.000 Oh.

02:00:12.000 You need a loaf of bread.

02:00:13.000 Oh, they'll go through the whole loaf.

02:00:14.000 With the butter or the olive oil on the bread. 1.00

02:00:16.000 You need all that shit. 1.00

02:00:17.000 I said, I can't eat mussels no more. 1.00

02:00:19.000 I love mussels.

02:00:20.000 I go to Rudy's.

02:00:21.000 I got some muscles. 1.00

02:00:22.000 They look like a fucking chick. 1.00

02:00:22.000 They're big. 1.00

02:00:25.000 Look like a six foot woman's clit. 1.00

02:00:27.000 They're that fucking big, the muscles. 1.00

02:00:29.000 You think I'm kidding you? 1.00

02:00:31.000 These fucking clit muscles. 1.00

02:00:32.000 When I go to other restaurants, you get those little muscles and you get a couple big ones. 1.00

02:00:36.000 No, no, no. 1.00

02:00:37.000 They give you nine big chick gorilla raised fucking pussy clits. 1.00

02:00:42.000 And they're huge. 1.00

02:00:43.000 And they put a little sauce on it.

02:00:45.000 So good.

02:00:46.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

02:00:47.000 It makes me go fucking out of here. 0.99

02:00:48.000 There was a Thai place that I used to go to in LA, Thai food. 0.99

02:00:52.000 And they had muscles and big fucking spicy muscles. 0.98

02:00:55.000 They were huge. 0.98

02:00:57.000 So good. 1.00

02:00:58.000 Not the Thai place Eddie took me to, the one next to the fucking 10th Planet on La Brea. 1.00

02:01:04.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97

02:01:05.000 I went in there with Eddie one night and I already hate Thai food.

02:01:07.000 And Eddie took, come on, I'll buy you lunch.

02:01:09.000 I'm broke.

02:01:10.000 You don't like Thai food?

02:01:11.000 I went in there, there were ants on the wall. 1.00

02:01:14.000 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:01:15.000 But I like the one that you took your shoes off. 1.00

02:01:18.000 They had the best shrimp pate in the country.

02:01:21.000 You took your shoes off?

02:01:22.000 Yeah, there's one on Sunset right across the comic book store.

02:01:26.000 Toy.

02:01:26.000 Toy?

02:01:27.000 Oh, Toy Thai.

02:01:28.000 Oh, that place is legit.

02:01:28.000 Toy Thai.

02:01:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:01:29.000 Solid.

02:01:30.000 Very good place.

02:01:30.000 Place.

02:01:31.000 The best place ever was, what's the place next to the Laugh Factory?

02:01:36.000 Green Blast Deli?

02:01:36.000 Green Blast Deli.

02:01:37.000 Oh, that was a great job.

02:01:39.000 Until I tell you this story.

02:01:40.000 I'm in there with Ralphie Mae one day, and he gets a roast beef sandwich.

02:01:44.000 And he's eating the roast beef, and I could see the ants on his arm.

02:01:48.000 And he opens it up, and there's ants all over the sandwich.

02:01:50.000 Listen to me.

02:01:51.000 Call the waiter.

02:01:52.000 The waiter's still charging for half a sandwich.

02:01:54.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

02:01:56.000 He's like, I ain't paying shit. 1.00

02:01:58.000 This motherfucker had ants on it. 1.00

02:01:59.000 I didn't even eat the other one. 1.00

02:02:01.000 The ants were on his fucking arm, Joe. 0.99

02:02:04.000 They weren't in the sandwich. 1.00

02:02:05.000 They were on the sandwich.

02:02:05.000 They were in the sandwich too.

02:02:07.000 Oh, so it was just all over the place.

02:02:08.000 They were all over the place. 1.00

02:02:09.000 Greenblatts? 1.00

02:02:10.000 Greenblatts, which I still eat at. 1.00

02:02:12.000 I don't even think it's Santa.

02:02:13.000 How good was that?

02:02:15.000 I only ate there a few times, which is weird because it was right next door to the Laugh Factory.

02:02:20.000 It was good too.

02:02:21.000 I kind of stopped going to the Laugh Factory after a certain point.

02:02:25.000 It was a certain point in like the 2000s where I'm like, I think I'm done with this place.

02:02:29.000 And I was mostly at the store.

02:02:31.000 Yeah, I like the Laugh Factory and I like the improv.

02:02:33.000 I was like, at the store, I love the improv still.

02:02:35.000 I always did the improv still.

02:02:36.000 But the Laugh Factory to me was like, There was something about it that was like sterile.

02:02:41.000 There was something about it, not a bad thing, but it was like very much like a lot of people got TV deals out of the Laugh Factor.

02:02:48.000 Yeah, that was the big thing in the world.

02:02:49.000 Different kind of comedy.

02:02:50.000 Yeah.

02:02:51.000 You know, it was the store was the dream.

02:02:55.000 You know, the Laugh Factor was nice and everything, but then it was also like, you remember Scott Day?

02:03:00.000 He would discourage, he would try to discourage you from going to the Laugh Factor.

02:03:03.000 He's like, you're a comedy store comic.

02:03:04.000 You're not a Laugh Factor to come.

02:03:05.000 I'm like, listen, man, I got to go up everywhere.

02:03:07.000 I can't, I'm developing.

02:03:09.000 I can't be just limiting myself to one.

02:03:11.000 But after a while, you're like, I developed better at the store.

02:03:14.000 Well, this thing about the store, too, you got three totally different environments.

02:03:18.000 You got the belly room environment, which is like very intimate, very small, 70 people.

02:03:23.000 And then you got the OR, which is the gritty. 0.99

02:03:26.000 That's the psychopaths at 11 30 on a fucking Tuesday night. 0.99

02:03:30.000 And then you got the main room, which is the big show. 0.99

02:03:33.000 There was so much opportunity. 0.88

02:03:34.000 I fucking always hated the main room until the last five years I was there. 0.85

02:03:38.000 I just couldn't get the formula for it. 0.95

02:03:40.000 But the original room, I knew it like.

02:03:43.000 Everything.

02:03:43.000 The original room, you're locked into a living room.

02:03:46.000 You're locked into it. 0.99

02:03:47.000 And then the piano and the whole fucking thing. 0.99

02:03:50.000 The main room was big. 0.99

02:03:51.000 Big stage, big crowd.

02:03:53.000 It was big ceiling.

02:03:55.000 Everything was big.

02:03:56.000 It was a different kind of a show.

02:03:56.000 It was different.

02:03:58.000 I remember the first time I showcased for Jamie.

02:03:59.000 He was like, man, what are you doing here?

02:04:02.000 You belong in Las Vegas, man, in a showroom.

02:04:06.000 You're not an LA comic.

02:04:07.000 That's hilarious.

02:04:09.000 Jamie always had the craziest ideas for people.

02:04:11.000 But at the end, he was a really good guy.

02:04:13.000 At the end of the day, he really tried hard.

02:04:15.000 Well, he loved comedy.

02:04:16.000 Yeah, he loved comedy.

02:04:17.000 All those people were very nice.

02:04:19.000 You know, I just went to Nashville for the comedy festival.

02:04:21.000 Uh huh.

02:04:22.000 And I ended up doing the Old Opry.

02:04:24.000 You know, that theater there.

02:04:25.000 What's the name of the theater?

02:04:26.000 Yeah.

02:04:26.000 Grand Ole Opry.

02:04:28.000 And it was great.

02:04:29.000 But the great thing about that, that everybody from the improv was there last night.

02:04:32.000 I saw people that were there for 25 years.

02:04:35.000 And we just were dropping stories.

02:04:38.000 Aaron, the guy, Hartman.

02:04:41.000 He's a big peptide guy, big everything guy.

02:04:41.000 Hartman looks great.

02:04:44.000 He lives in Nashville.

02:04:47.000 Joel from Florida. 0.99

02:04:49.000 You know, when you get to see those guys and you're like, wow, we've been in this shit together. 1.00

02:04:54.000 Forever. 0.99

02:04:54.000 Like I told Aaron, I met Aaron in Irvine. 0.99

02:04:57.000 Then she came to Hollywood.

02:04:59.000 And I was like, psych, because she gave us an 11 o'clock show. 1.00

02:05:02.000 And she was pregnant. 1.00

02:05:03.000 She was hot. 1.00

02:05:04.000 She used to wear the farmer, those things. 0.99

02:05:07.000 The overalls? 0.94

02:05:08.000 The overalls.

02:05:09.000 Oh.

02:05:10.000 She was so hot. 0.94

02:05:10.000 I still tell her when I talk to her, I always tell her, Aaron, you sexy savage. 0.94

02:05:14.000 I always fucking torment her. 0.99

02:05:16.000 But it was really nice to see them. 0.99

02:05:19.000 And everything, you know, Hartman told the story when I told him I was going to bang his head off the wall.

02:05:25.000 You know, just craziness that look at us now.

02:05:29.000 We're all in there having a great time.

02:05:31.000 20 years ago, we were always at war.

02:05:33.000 With one of you guys.

02:05:34.000 We cursed too much.

02:05:36.000 You know, we were talking about when I got fired with Pablo.

02:05:38.000 Yeah.

02:05:39.000 And then he found out I wasn't doing coke and he felt really bad, you know.

02:05:42.000 So it was just great to see what we've been through together. 1.00

02:05:47.000 And now, after everything, you're like, fuck. 1.00

02:05:49.000 I was there the fucking night Joe started. 1.00

02:05:53.000 That was in Miami, 98. 0.99

02:05:53.000 That was in Miami, right? 0.99

02:05:55.000 Yeah.

02:05:56.000 New Year's of 99.

02:05:57.000 That's crazy. 0.99

02:05:58.000 And Madonna came in with Chris fucking Rock. 0.99

02:06:01.000 Wow. 0.99

02:06:02.000 And to watch somebody at New Year's Eve. 0.99

02:06:04.000 I forget who the fuck it was. 0.99

02:06:06.000 But yeah, that's. 0.99

02:06:07.000 You look at those people, you're like, we took the ride.

02:06:09.000 We were kids. 1.00

02:06:10.000 We were fucking kids together. 1.00

02:06:11.000 And also, you have to think, like, imagine having to employ you. 0.99

02:06:17.000 Imagine being a businessman and you got to employ you in 98.

02:06:22.000 God bless him.

02:06:23.000 Not good.

02:06:25.000 God bless him. 0.97

02:06:26.000 I remember the improv really liked me and I fucked him over in like 2007.

02:06:29.000 Who was the guy, the original guy at Coconut Grove? 0.88

02:06:34.000 The guy who liked to party.

02:06:35.000 I forget his name now.

02:06:37.000 Rich Jeff.

02:06:39.000 Give me a minute.

02:06:40.000 Give me a minute.

02:06:40.000 Yeah.

02:06:41.000 The original guy. 0.94

02:06:41.000 Yeah, crazy. 0.94

02:06:42.000 He was fun.

02:06:43.000 Crazy.

02:06:43.000 Fun guy.

02:06:44.000 Really fun.

02:06:45.000 He's from Cleveland.

02:06:46.000 He lived in Cleveland.

02:06:47.000 I liked the party.

02:06:47.000 And his wife hit the lottery for a million.

02:06:50.000 People didn't realize how nutty Coconut Grove was. 0.64

02:06:53.000 That was the nuttiest improv.

02:06:54.000 That improv.

02:06:55.000 We would go out afterwards and have Cuban coffee and eat Cuban sandwiches at like 2 o'clock in the morning.

02:07:00.000 We used to go to that news thing, the newsstand.

02:07:03.000 It was open till 5 and it closed for an hour.

02:07:03.000 Yeah.

02:07:05.000 You could tell stories.

02:07:06.000 Yeah.

02:07:07.000 And you could drink all night.

02:07:09.000 Oh, yeah.

02:07:09.000 So they closed from 5 to 6.

02:07:12.000 But whatever booze you had on the table, you could keep.

02:07:15.000 So you would say, give me like eight beers.

02:07:17.000 And then they would open up again at six, and you're right there.

02:07:19.000 Hey!

02:07:21.000 They closed for one hour at five in the morning.

02:07:25.000 I remember one night you were on Conan O'Brien.

02:07:29.000 This is 97, right?

02:07:31.000 No.

02:07:32.000 You did somebody's late show.

02:07:34.000 Okay.

02:07:34.000 It was the week that our friend got shot.

02:07:37.000 Oh, the Hartman thing?

02:07:37.000 Hartman thing.

02:07:39.000 You can't believe it.

02:07:40.000 I remember. 0.99

02:07:40.000 See, I'm just telling you that I don't know shit. 0.99

02:07:42.000 Look up the dates. 0.99

02:07:43.000 When Hartman got shot, you were on that show.

02:07:45.000 Like, you were with me all weekend, and I stayed, and then you went to New York to shoot that.

02:07:51.000 And then that weekend, Hartman, you know.

02:07:54.000 But I'll never forget, I was involved in the threesome when you were on that talk show. 0.99

02:07:59.000 And it's a chubby chick and a hot chick, and we're snorting Coke, and I'm trying to eat ass, and I'm looking at you. 0.98

02:08:05.000 I go, pull on NBC, so I go watch Joe. 1.00

02:08:08.000 And I'm watching you as I'm trying to tackle these two animals, and I'm like, who the fuck? 1.00

02:08:14.000 Gonna believe this. 1.00

02:08:15.000 The chubby chick got up. 1.00

02:08:16.000 She's like, You didn't want to be with me anyway. 1.00

02:08:18.000 You always wanted the hot chick and slammed the door.

02:08:20.000 It was a full night.

02:08:21.000 It was a full night, though.

02:08:25.000 Cocaine. 1.00

02:08:27.000 But all that shit, you see these people now and you're like, bro, we all went through it together. 1.00

02:08:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:32.000 We all went through it together. 0.98

02:08:34.000 What a great fucking thing to have at this time in your life that we all, we're all here. 0.99

02:08:39.000 You know? 0.99

02:08:40.000 Fucking really nice, man. 0.99

02:08:42.000 It makes you go, wow, this comedy life was worth every fucking penny I got into it. 0.97

02:08:47.000 It's a fun ride when you look back and you think, like, imagine when you were first starting out and imagine that it would turn out this way. 0.93

02:08:55.000 You never imagined it.

02:08:57.000 And then you look back and you're like, what a fun ride.

02:08:59.000 What an extraordinarily fun life.

02:09:02.000 I'll never forget.

02:09:03.000 And you had it pinned down from the beginning.

02:09:05.000 I never even told you this.

02:09:07.000 One of my friends, I got to LA like January 97, and that's summer, like August.

02:09:13.000 Is that guy?

02:09:14.000 Nope.

02:09:16.000 No, that's Cleveland Improv.

02:09:17.000 I know I sit here on the one in Miami, too.

02:09:20.000 Oh, no, it was the manager.

02:09:22.000 No worries, though.

02:09:23.000 Thank you, though.

02:09:24.000 What are we talking about?

02:09:26.000 Something pinned down, manager.

02:09:31.000 We were talking about. 0.99

02:09:31.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

02:09:36.000 Oh. 0.99

02:09:37.000 Never imagining that looking back on this life, like when you first started, you'd never imagine it turned out this way.

02:09:44.000 You said something about me once that was right.

02:09:46.000 Like, I wasn't on the podcast, but you were talking to somebody.

02:09:49.000 You're like, I remember when that guy first came on the scene.

02:09:51.000 He was scary. 0.99

02:09:52.000 He had a leather jacket and all this shit, and he was buck wild. 0.99

02:09:56.000 You know, I just get to LA and I do a couple spots. 0.98

02:09:59.000 The guy is at my.

02:10:01.000 First talent coordinator at the improv said to me, hey, would you like to work Irvine?

02:10:06.000 He goes, I got an MC spot.

02:10:06.000 And I go, yeah.

02:10:08.000 Go do it next week.

02:10:09.000 My first time ever. 1.00

02:10:10.000 I go down there, and I had a crazy girlfriend then with all the teeth. 1.00

02:10:14.000 And this motherfucking head chef comes up to me and her, and he goes, hey, she's got the same mouth as Gina Davis, a nice cocksucker mouth. 1.00

02:10:14.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:10:23.000 That was my first weekend ever.

02:10:26.000 And at first, I took it kind of weird.

02:10:27.000 And then after the show, I went up to him, and I go, hey, man. 0.99

02:10:31.000 Who the fuck do you think you are saying something like that? 0.99

02:10:33.000 He goes, What are you doing? 1.00

02:10:35.000 If you go at me, you'll never work on improv again. 1.00

02:10:37.000 I just kicked him in the fucking stomach as hard as I could. 1.00

02:10:40.000 They called me the next day, Joey, come on, man. 1.00

02:10:42.000 I kicked him, the guy fell apart.

02:10:44.000 All of a sudden, he wasn't a tough guy no more. 0.93

02:10:45.000 I was just so pissed. 1.00

02:10:46.000 How can you say that to somebody's fucking girlfriend to her face? 1.00

02:10:49.000 I just fucking front kicked him, and I hit him somewhere in the stomach. 1.00

02:10:53.000 I'm calling Hartman. 0.99

02:10:53.000 He was holding on. 0.99

02:10:54.000 Call fucking Hartman. 1.00

02:10:56.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

02:10:58.000 I remember getting in the car going, Joey, you can't let the old Joey get in the way, man. 0.99

02:11:02.000 This is not good.

02:11:03.000 But no.

02:11:03.000 You should have just walked away.

02:11:04.000 Why would I walk away? 1.00

02:11:06.000 Fuck that shit. 1.00

02:11:07.000 That was the problem. 1.00

02:11:08.000 A lot of people would walk away from that shit and you just lost. 1.00

02:11:10.000 You just became a Hollywood asshole. 1.00

02:11:13.000 When you say fuck you, they'll respect you fucking more a year later. 1.00

02:11:16.000 They ended up giving me more work. 1.00

02:11:16.000 And they did. 1.00

02:11:18.000 Was that guy still there when you went back?

02:11:19.000 No.

02:11:20.000 He was like a cute cook that thought he was cute.

02:11:22.000 Like he was Orange County.

02:11:23.000 He wasn't going to get smacked. 1.00

02:11:25.000 I don't give a fuck who you are. 1.00

02:11:27.000 I fucking kicked that motherfucker. 1.00

02:11:29.000 I didn't give a fuck, Jack. 1.00

02:11:30.000 I was so buck wild at the store in the beginning when I hit the kid in the head with the microphone. 1.00

02:11:36.000 And then they came and got me in La Jolla, and I took the pool.

02:11:40.000 Remember they had that pool table in La Jolla, the bumper?

02:11:43.000 They had a bumper pool table in La Jolla.

02:11:45.000 Right.

02:11:46.000 So these guys kept threatening me that they were going to come game. 0.98

02:11:48.000 So I got, I became fucking Chuck Norris and called it silence. 0.96

02:11:54.000 I took all the pool balls, and I put them in different places, so I had to throw them at him as a weapon. 0.99

02:12:00.000 Then I hit all the fucking pool cues. 0.99

02:12:01.000 You ever see called it silence? 0.99

02:12:03.000 That's since Segal stole it from him in that. 0.99

02:12:06.000 Fucking Bobby Lupo movie. 1.00

02:12:08.000 But that was Chuck Norris when he would fill a bag with pool cues and hit you in the head with it and shit. 1.00

02:12:13.000 And the pool hall with the Colombians. 1.00

02:12:16.000 Doug and that motherfucker, I saw them. 1.00

02:12:18.000 I was sitting outside the La Jolla Stormer. 1.00

02:12:21.000 They had that little bench facing the Chinese restaurant.

02:12:23.000 You don't even remember La Jolla no more.

02:12:25.000 And I saw them at the light, and they made the turn, and I took one of those balls, and I kept it right here, and they pulled up and took water pistols out. 0.99

02:12:34.000 And I fucking took that ball and threw it with everything I had, and it hit that car, and all of a sudden the fucking car went boom. 1.00

02:12:42.000 These motherfuckers took off, Jack. 1.00

02:12:45.000 Code of Silence. 1.00

02:12:46.000 I remember this because this was like the first real movie that got respected by.

02:12:52.000 It wasn't just a karate movie, it was a movie that was about.

02:12:56.000 Like an undercover cop movie, right?

02:12:58.000 Wasn't it?

02:12:59.000 Against the Columbians.

02:13:00.000 But it was the fighting part was just part of it.

02:13:04.000 It wasn't that it was, you know, it was just a karate movie.

02:13:07.000 Like most of his other movies were just karate movies or, you know, they were kind of campy, like missing in action.

02:13:13.000 It was a lot of it based on the karate.

02:13:15.000 This was, oh, we got hit by the pool ball.

02:13:19.000 Oh, they jump him.

02:13:21.000 This is a terrible movie.

02:13:23.000 This is terrible. 1.00

02:13:24.000 I thought men were. 1.00

02:13:25.000 It was this shit back then. 1.00

02:13:26.000 Dog, it was so. 1.00

02:13:27.000 When you watch it now, you're like, this is the corniest fight scene of all time.

02:13:30.000 These guys would overwhelm him.

02:13:33.000 Listen, man. 0.59

02:13:36.000 Good Men Wear Black. 1.00

02:13:40.000 Chuck Norris had a couple movies where he showed his shit. 1.00

02:13:43.000 This was not one of them. 1.00

02:13:45.000 Walker, Sheriff Marshall was not one of them, okay?

02:13:48.000 With the wig doing push ups still on Channel 89.

02:13:51.000 That wasn't him.

02:13:52.000 I love Chuck Norris.

02:13:53.000 But Chuck Norris made some good movies early on that were dark.

02:13:57.000 That's why nobody talks about Good Men Wear Black.

02:13:59.000 What's the other one?

02:13:59.000 The Octagon?

02:14:00.000 Oh, yeah.

02:14:01.000 You forget about all those.

02:14:02.000 Oh, yeah. 0.95

02:14:03.000 Is this good men, good guys wear black?

02:14:05.000 1978.

02:14:07.000 Wow. 0.99

02:14:09.000 How many fucking people did this guy get into martial arts? 0.99

02:14:13.000 Like, how many people, because of Chuck Norris movies, wind up doing martial arts? 1.00

02:14:17.000 A fucking shitload. 0.97

02:14:20.000 I got into Tang Soo Do because of him. 0.99

02:14:23.000 Because he was one of the first Tang Soo Do guys, and he split. 0.98

02:14:27.000 He made his own thing, or whatever the fuck.

02:14:31.000 It's kind of amazing when you think about how many karate guys didn't make it. 0.95

02:14:36.000 Like, how many guys didn't become karate movie stars?

02:14:40.000 And Chuck Norris did.

02:14:41.000 Like, how many of them were there?

02:14:43.000 How many karate guys wanted to be movie stars and couldn't figure it out?

02:14:46.000 And he did.

02:14:47.000 I saw every martial arts film made in the 70s. 0.59

02:14:50.000 Even with the black exploitation, the movie was called Three the Hard Way Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, and other really good black looking guys.

02:14:58.000 I forgot about Jim Kelly. 0.80

02:15:00.000 Jim Kelly was trying to break into that thing.

02:15:02.000 There was a lot of guys.

02:15:03.000 There was a bunch of movies.

02:15:04.000 And then after Bruce Lee died, The whole thing opened up.

02:15:07.000 Yeah, Jet Light, Jet Lu.

02:15:09.000 Bruce Light.

02:15:10.000 Bruce Light. 1.00

02:15:11.000 You had all these fucking Bruces. 1.00

02:15:13.000 And that was the end of it. 1.00

02:15:14.000 But I was notorious. 0.99

02:15:16.000 I wanted to see all those fucking movies growing up. 1.00

02:15:19.000 Billy Jack. 0.99

02:15:20.000 Do you remember Billy Jack?

02:15:23.000 I remember Billy Jack.

02:15:24.000 Oh, yeah, I remember. 1.00

02:15:24.000 The Indian? 1.00

02:15:25.000 I remember the black hat. 1.00

02:15:26.000 I remember the whole damn thing. 0.99

02:15:27.000 I'm going to put this foot on the side of your face. 1.00

02:15:29.000 All that shit. 1.00

02:15:30.000 That damn thing you could do. 1.00

02:15:31.000 They even had a white Mormon dude be with Marshall. 1.00

02:15:33.000 Everybody, Chinese, black. 1.00

02:15:35.000 Everybody played fucking Kung Fu. 1.00

02:15:37.000 Everybody. 1.00

02:15:38.000 And that movie.

02:15:39.000 Code of Silence is Dennis Farinas, one of his first movies.

02:15:43.000 Oh, really?

02:15:43.000 Yeah, he's the sidekick in that movie.

02:15:46.000 Oh. 0.96

02:15:47.000 Fucking, you just, you know, people forget how many kung fu movies or martial art-based movies they actually made in the 70s. 0.99

02:15:55.000 Fucking unreal. 1.00

02:15:56.000 And the shit that was getting sent here from China, it's like kid porn. 1.00

02:15:56.000 Oh, yeah, unreal. 1.00

02:16:00.000 They were just sending it every weekend. 1.00

02:16:02.000 Fucking Chinese people beating up on Chinese people, jumping. 1.00

02:16:06.000 Remember the more they got older, like by 70s, Bruce died in 73. 1.00

02:16:09.000 By 76, there was movies that the guy had like a thing of gold.

02:16:13.000 It weighed like two tons, and he would throw it up a hill and then jump and catch it on top of the hill.

02:16:18.000 Come on, now you lost me.

02:16:20.000 The one arm swordsman, you lost me.

02:16:22.000 You know, the guy's got one arm, and he's fine.

02:16:24.000 Those dudes love those Kung Fu movies.

02:16:26.000 They were completely recreated. 1.00

02:16:27.000 And forget about black people. 1.00

02:16:30.000 When people talk about Bruce Lee, it was a sensational cultural fucking phenomenon when he came. 0.99

02:16:37.000 And the people that, think about all the people he opened up to martial art movies and martial arts in general. 0.90

02:16:42.000 I mean, Chuck Norris was the second half of it.

02:16:45.000 Bruce was the first.

02:16:46.000 Chuck Norris was the second.

02:16:48.000 And I hate to admit it, UFC is the third big wave of that.

02:16:54.000 Nobody goes to karate no more.

02:16:56.000 Okay, how many karate schools you got?

02:16:57.000 It's the kids 10, they make them hit a paper.

02:17:01.000 Yeah, they're going to jiu-jitsu schools.

02:17:02.000 Yeah.

02:17:03.000 They're going to all different schools.

02:17:04.000 So it's changed.

02:17:06.000 The culture has changed.

02:17:07.000 You know, in 73, everybody went to Wing Chun Kung Fu.

02:17:10.000 Yep.

02:17:11.000 You taught judo, you became a Wing Chun dude now because you weren't going to make no money off judo.

02:17:16.000 Nobody was doing judo back then.

02:17:18.000 You had to go to Brooklyn to get Savat classes.

02:17:20.000 Remember Savat? 0.90

02:17:22.000 The French? 0.69

02:17:22.000 Yeah. 0.69

02:17:23.000 You had to go to Brooklyn.

02:17:23.000 Yeah.

02:17:24.000 In those days, New York had everything.

02:17:26.000 But then when, like, our friend, the one who does the MMA podcast with you.

02:17:30.000 Matt Serra.

02:17:31.000 When Matt Serra got into jujitsu, he would have to go from Long Island all the way to close to Philadelphia.

02:17:39.000 It'd be three hours on Sundays.

02:17:41.000 Jiu-jitsu wasn't everywhere yet.

02:17:43.000 When he got into it, he would have to travel.

02:17:46.000 I think he told the story on one of his podcasts.

02:17:48.000 He would have to drive to Jersey just on Sundays.

02:17:51.000 They just did jujitsu on Sundays because that's all that was available. 0.99

02:17:55.000 Now you've got a jujitsu school on every fucking corner. 0.99

02:17:58.000 Who's that because of? 0.99

02:17:59.000 That's because of UFC, man. 0.88

02:18:01.000 It just blew it the fuck right open.

02:18:04.000 Who knows?

02:18:05.000 I may be wrong.

02:18:06.000 No, I think you're right.

02:18:08.000 For sure, the UFC opened up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

02:18:10.000 Hoist Gracie.

02:18:11.000 Hoist Gracie winning the first UFCs, that opened up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu all over the country. 0.99

02:18:16.000 Saying, what the fuck is this? 0.96

02:18:17.000 Yeah, it was a completely new. 0.99

02:18:18.000 I mean, there was no Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in America.

02:18:20.000 You never even talked about it.

02:18:21.000 I did martial arts my whole life.

02:18:22.000 I never even heard of it.

02:18:24.000 You heard of it, but.

02:18:25.000 I don't even know.

02:18:26.000 It was so far off to you.

02:18:27.000 I barely even paid attention to it.

02:18:29.000 It was like it could have been anything.

02:18:31.000 And then all of a sudden the UFC came along and it's like, oh my God, that's the thing that everybody needs to learn.

02:18:36.000 That's what's wild now.

02:18:37.000 It's like, how many people trained martial arts in comparison to like 50 years ago?

02:18:42.000 It's not, there's no comparison.

02:18:43.000 There's way more people that know how to fight now than like ever before.

02:18:47.000 And ever before.

02:18:49.000 Or at least they know how to neutralize somebody.

02:18:53.000 Well, a lot of people are training now.

02:18:54.000 Way more.

02:18:55.000 There's way more people who learn to neutralize people.

02:18:55.000 That's what they're doing.

02:18:55.000 Way more.

02:18:58.000 Anybody who studies jujitsu ain't going to bully you.

02:19:00.000 Okay?

02:19:01.000 They're going to neutralize you on the street. 1.00

02:19:03.000 They're going to break your fucking shoulder on the street. 0.99

02:19:06.000 They're trying to neutralize you, hold you down. 1.00

02:19:08.000 Hey.

02:19:09.000 Relax.

02:19:09.000 Take a breath.

02:19:11.000 Don't swing at me because I'll break this fucking arm. 0.99

02:19:13.000 Do you ever see the video of Matt Serra? 0.99

02:19:15.000 I think it was in Atlantic City.

02:19:16.000 And it might have been Vegas.

02:19:18.000 Somewhere in a casino.

02:19:19.000 Some drunk guy is causing problems.

02:19:22.000 And Matt winds up taking him down and mounting him until the cops come.

02:19:25.000 He's just holding on to the guy.

02:19:26.000 He's just sitting on the guy.

02:19:27.000 Hold on.

02:19:28.000 There it is.

02:19:29.000 The guy's swinging.

02:19:30.000 Look at Matt.

02:19:31.000 Like you've got a literal Brazilian Jiu Jitsu world champion.

02:19:35.000 And he's just mounting you, laughing.

02:19:37.000 Like you think about.

02:19:39.000 Picking on the wrong guy.

02:19:40.000 He's just holding on.

02:19:42.000 I mean, the guy's completely helpless.

02:19:46.000 I don't remember the whole story behind this.

02:19:48.000 Look at the security guard coming.

02:19:49.000 I was like, Relax, I got this guy. 0.99

02:19:50.000 You and I both know Matt could knee him, kick him in the face, and get up and leave. 0.98

02:19:54.000 This is what I'm telling you. 0.99

02:19:54.000 He could literally. 0.99

02:19:55.000 The jujitsu, that atmosphere doesn't teach you to do that.

02:19:58.000 It just holds you down, going, Hey.

02:20:00.000 Well, he's nothing to prove.

02:20:01.000 No, catch your breath.

02:20:03.000 He's a world champion.

02:20:03.000 He's laughing.

02:20:05.000 I mean, I don't know if he had been the UFC champion by that time, but, you know.

02:20:08.000 What are you going to do?

02:20:09.000 Come over somebody on the street and break their shoulder?

02:20:11.000 Now you have to live.

02:20:12.000 We're going to go to Yeah, you're going to get a chance.

02:20:13.000 You get sued.

02:20:14.000 You lose everything.

02:20:14.000 I know jujitsu people take you down like they're bouncers.

02:20:17.000 Yeah.

02:20:18.000 They just neutralize you.

02:20:19.000 It was the night before his Hall of Fame induction to the FC. 2018.

02:20:24.000 Okay, so that's way past the time that he won the title.

02:20:28.000 Yeah, that's hilarious.

02:20:29.000 That's very funny.

02:20:30.000 That poor guy, imagine knowing that guy could have killed you and he was just so nice.

02:20:35.000 All he did was hold your wrists and sit on your chest for a little while.

02:20:37.000 Look at him.

02:20:38.000 He looked like he was on a boat having a good time.

02:20:40.000 He's like, hey, somebody get me a water or something.

02:20:42.000 The guy's literally helpless.

02:20:44.000 He has no fear whatsoever of that guy hurting him.

02:20:48.000 It's like a child.

02:20:49.000 It's like your little child's having a temper tantrum.

02:20:52.000 Like, come on, it's Matt Sarah.

02:20:54.000 It's funny. 0.99

02:20:55.000 There's so many dummies out there. 0.98

02:20:57.000 This is a part of the problem in this world. 1.00

02:20:58.000 It's hard to get your shit together. 1.00

02:21:00.000 So many people just stumble through life just never getting their shit together. 0.99

02:21:04.000 I was talking to my friend last night. 0.98

02:21:06.000 She has like a cooking show on YouTube.

02:21:09.000 She goes, I had to stop doing it, Joey. 1.00

02:21:13.000 She goes, my mother would watch, and these people would say, like the weirdest, like, you know, everything show me your tits, show me your pussy, you can't cook, bitch. 1.00

02:21:22.000 And you're like, you know, how much long am I going to take this shit for? 1.00

02:21:26.000 People are so horrible. 1.00

02:21:27.000 They're fucking horrible on the internet. 1.00

02:21:29.000 You know, she's a young girl looking good. 1.00

02:21:31.000 She's like, Joey, I had a cancer the fucking thing. 0.99

02:21:33.000 She was doing like a workout, a cooking thing. 0.99

02:21:36.000 She goes, now I just play with my cats.

02:21:38.000 That's it.

02:21:38.000 People love cats.

02:21:40.000 She goes, that's it.

02:21:41.000 But it's impossible. 1.00

02:21:43.000 Because shit is so many animals out there. 1.00

02:21:45.000 And they're out there and they don't give a fuck and they say shit. 1.00

02:21:48.000 It's also the zero consequences for saying horrible shit. 1.00

02:21:51.000 And they're trying to get a rise out of the other people in the comments too. 0.99

02:21:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:21:54.000 So they're trying to say outrageous shit so that other people react to it, so that you'll read it and you'll react to it. 1.00

02:22:00.000 It's the dumbest fucking thing ever. 1.00

02:22:02.000 It is. 1.00

02:22:04.000 I was thinking this last night.

02:22:06.000 It's kind of a crazy thought, but you know, everyone is addicted right now to social media and addicted to going online and just addicted to content.

02:22:14.000 You're constantly getting content, you're constantly interacting with your phone.

02:22:17.000 And this is a very new thing, right?

02:22:19.000 It's within the last 20 years, this has happened to people.

02:22:22.000 This is like prepping us for what's coming next.

02:22:25.000 We're going to look back on these days and we're going to realize oh, the addictions to the phones, the addictions to staring at the screens and checking.

02:22:34.000 Your email and looking at YouTube and looking at Instagram and looking at Twitter.

02:22:38.000 That's just preparing you for you being completely connected to electronics forever.

02:22:44.000 This is like the early stages of it.

02:22:47.000 I was thinking about it last night while I was watching this television show.

02:22:50.000 I'm watching this crazy show.

02:22:51.000 It's called From.

02:22:52.000 Have you seen this show?

02:22:53.000 No, no.

02:22:54.000 It's nuts.

02:22:55.000 By the guys who made Lost.

02:22:57.000 One of the dudes that's in Lost is the main star of it. 0.99

02:23:00.000 It's a fucking great show. 0.99

02:23:01.000 Like a really good show. 1.00

02:23:02.000 Like very unpredictable, twisted, just like Lost.

02:23:05.000 Like a crazy show.

02:23:07.000 About These people are stuck in this town.

02:23:08.000 They can't get out.

02:23:09.000 It's impossible to get out.

02:23:11.000 But I was thinking while I was watching this, I was like, why is everyone?

02:23:15.000 Because no one has a phone there and everyone's just locked into this place.

02:23:18.000 I was like, your phone is preparing you.

02:23:21.000 The addiction to our phones are preparing us to the next stage of what life is going to be like as a person.

02:23:29.000 This is just the gate.

02:23:31.000 The phones are the gate.

02:23:33.000 But what's coming next, you're going to reminisce about the days of the phone.

02:23:37.000 Oh, you remember when we had.

02:23:39.000 Phones.

02:23:39.000 We had to look things up.

02:23:41.000 You had to charge it.

02:23:41.000 You had a little thing.

02:23:42.000 Remember when you had to charge it?

02:23:44.000 That's how we're going to be.

02:23:45.000 We're moving into some weird new area. 1.00

02:23:48.000 They're building these fucking data centers everywhere. 0.99

02:23:51.000 And everyone's like, oh, the data center. 1.00

02:23:52.000 Look great.

02:23:53.000 Like, what is that?

02:23:54.000 What are you doing?

02:23:55.000 Why are you building these things that need to be powered by nuclear reactors? 0.99

02:23:58.000 Why are you building these things that are sucking up all the fucking water? 0.96

02:24:02.000 Why are they putting these things out in the middle of the desert? 0.99

02:24:04.000 Big as fucking five football fields, huge fucking giant buildings filled with computers. 0.99

02:24:10.000 Like, what the fuck are we doing? 1.00

02:24:14.000 And the gates is this goddamn phone. 1.00

02:24:16.000 This phone is the gate. 1.00

02:24:19.000 We're opening up the door to us completely in tears.

02:24:21.000 I'm going to tell you why. 1.00

02:24:22.000 My daughter can't watch a whole movie. 1.00

02:24:24.000 They have no attention span. 1.00

02:24:27.000 40 minutes in, she has to leave, and then she'll start it from the next day.

02:24:30.000 I had to watch Scarface, though.

02:24:33.000 You had her watch Scarface?

02:24:34.000 Yeah, because we do experimentals at the house.

02:24:37.000 We did the fight club. 1.00

02:24:39.000 We do all that shit. 1.00

02:24:40.000 So she said, Dad, I always only watch the part when he shoots the brother-in-law. 1.00

02:24:47.000 You know, that's the only part that's always on when I come down.

02:24:50.000 I go, I want to watch from the beginning.

02:24:52.000 She enjoyed it for a little while.

02:24:54.000 I went upstairs.

02:24:55.000 After one scene, I'm like, I can't watch this again.

02:24:57.000 She goes, I'll stay up.

02:25:00.000 Two days later, mother goes, did you see the review she wrote on it?

02:25:04.000 And I go, no.

02:25:05.000 She goes, take a look at it.

02:25:06.000 And she's like, I enjoyed the movie.

02:25:09.000 I was a fan because it was Cuban-American. 1.00

02:25:11.000 But then as the movie rolled on, I figured these Cubans don't know how to treat women. 1.00

02:25:17.000 He goes, they were smacking them and shooting. 1.00

02:25:23.000 All you do is sit around waiting for me and fuck. 1.00

02:25:26.000 She didn't fucking like that at all. 1.00

02:25:29.000 She's like, I know my dad's Cuban, but Jesus Christ, they're so mean to their women. 1.00

02:25:35.000 I'm like, do I act like that? 1.00

02:25:36.000 She goes, no, but that movie.

02:25:37.000 That's the campaign days. 0.99

02:25:39.000 Yeah, she said, she goes, that gave men a different fucking thing. 0.99

02:25:42.000 I go, mercy, that was 40 fucking years ago. 0.98

02:25:45.000 Not only that, you're dealing with the people that were the criminals of Cuba that were kicked out of Cuba that made their way to America. 0.98

02:25:51.000 Like, this is not normal people.

02:25:53.000 No, no.

02:25:54.000 And now they're about to let the second half out.

02:25:58.000 What are they doing to Cuba right now?

02:26:00.000 Well, they're not surviving.

02:26:01.000 They don't have any power, no gasoline. 0.80

02:26:05.000 It's funny because every couple days I get an algorithm which is promoting Cuban videos.

02:26:13.000 Cuban videos, people in Cuba.

02:26:15.000 They had kids going to work out.

02:26:19.000 They took them to this little place.

02:26:21.000 Everything had papers on it.

02:26:23.000 They did pull-ups, sit-ups with their head.

02:26:25.000 The pipes were broken. 1.00

02:26:27.000 You got to see these fucking kids doing full workouts. 1.00

02:26:30.000 We wouldn't even look at it. 1.00

02:26:32.000 Their body weight workouts, you know?

02:26:35.000 They go around Varadero and they interview people, and I don't know what this is doing.

02:26:41.000 I don't know what this is doing because we're two years away from Cuba being legit.

02:26:44.000 They're going to go back down there after this whole thing goes, or Raul, whatever, whatever they decide they can't get fuel from Venezuela.

02:26:52.000 How long is it going to take?

02:26:53.000 I mean, they're not going to be happy until they have a Starbucks in Cuba.

02:26:56.000 So what happened was they were getting their oil from Venezuela, right?

02:26:59.000 We took over Venezuela, we cut off their oil. 0.84

02:27:01.000 Cut them off. 0.66

02:27:02.000 And so what is the United States trying to do with Cuba right now?

02:27:06.000 They're trying to get rid of the communist government?

02:27:08.000 They're trying to, well, they're going to, they charged Raul Castro with something recently.

02:27:12.000 This is going to end up like Noriega.

02:27:12.000 That's the beginning.

02:27:13.000 This is Fidel's brother.

02:27:15.000 You're going to wake up one day and on ABC News, there they are in Cuba pulling people out.

02:27:21.000 But doesn't China and Russia have a relationship with Cuba?

02:27:24.000 Isn't that a problem?

02:27:25.000 Not really because they're not paying their bills. 0.95

02:27:28.000 That's why Cuba's starving. 0.97

02:27:29.000 When they had Russia, Russia was fucking doing everything, but then they didn't need them no more and they cut them off. 0.98

02:27:35.000 I think they do small trades for sugar or something. 0.99

02:27:37.000 It is kind of crazy for the United States.

02:27:39.000 States to have an enemy that's 90 minutes offshore in a boat.

02:27:45.000 Trump administration said on 2026, May 20th, indicted former Cuban President Raul Castro for murder based on the downing of two planes near the Cuban coastline in 1996 that killed four people.

02:27:57.000 As a historian of Latin American and U.S. foreign policy, I believe the indictment may be the prelude to a direct U.S. military action against Cuba.

02:28:04.000 This is the beginning.

02:28:06.000 This is Kevin A. Young from UMass Amherst.

02:28:09.000 Before Castro, the last U.S. indictment of a Latin American leader occurred in.

02:28:14.000 January 2026, that's the Venezuela thing.

02:28:17.000 Since January, the U.S. has ended the flow of Venezuelan oil to Cuba and has economic and military pressure to prevent other nations from trading with the island.

02:28:26.000 Trump recently threatened a friendly takeover of Cuba.

02:28:29.000 I believe what's missing from most recent analysis of this situation is the history of U.S. aggression against Cuba.

02:28:36.000 It's essential context for understanding the Trump administration's recent escalations.

02:28:40.000 So, yeah, once they indict you, they're coming for you.

02:28:43.000 It's just a matter of time.

02:28:45.000 They're just starving the country.

02:28:45.000 Like the Senate.

02:28:46.000 We walk up, yeah.

02:28:47.000 And then they'll come up with a solution.

02:28:48.000 Here's your solution.

02:28:49.000 You need to put in new leadership.

02:28:51.000 Telling you there's a shooting or two in Cuba every night.

02:28:53.000 Cuba's not getting, there's no power, there's no electricity.

02:28:58.000 They have roaring, what do you call it?

02:29:00.000 And that was yesterday.

02:29:01.000 Yeah.

02:29:01.000 The earthquake?

02:29:02.000 The biggest one in 150 years. 0.99

02:29:03.000 So they're just fucking, they're doing everything they can. 0.99

02:29:03.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:29:05.000 You understand, Jamie?

02:29:06.000 Scissor was the biggest one in over 150 years.

02:29:08.000 Oh my God.

02:29:09.000 Yeah.

02:29:09.000 So everything is looking like right now, that's it.

02:29:12.000 They can survive this. 1.00

02:29:14.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:29:15.000 So. 1.00

02:29:16.000 So what happens to those people?

02:29:17.000 They just wait this out where the United States and.

02:29:20.000 Well, you have to say.

02:29:21.000 So they get no resources, no supplies.

02:29:23.000 You got two things in Cuba. 0.51

02:29:24.000 You have people that don't know.

02:29:28.000 You never watched that 30 for 30 with El Duque when they won the championship and they said people in New York were throwing toilet paper and the wife was grabbing it, saying in Cuba, this is gold.

02:29:39.000 Why are you throwing away toilet paper?

02:29:40.000 We have no toilet paper in Cuba.

02:29:42.000 That's the mentality.

02:29:43.000 So 50% of those people have been brainwashed to the, where they, you know, every day there's a bullhorn, buenos dias, patriotas, you know, when the communists, whatever they, Call each other.

02:29:54.000 Yeah, comrades.

02:29:56.000 We're winning the war.

02:29:57.000 We're getting close.

02:29:58.000 You know, what do you mean I'm getting closer?

02:29:59.000 I'm down to 118.

02:30:01.000 I was walking around at 170.

02:30:03.000 How are we getting closer to a victory? 1.00

02:30:05.000 So they're getting sick of that shit. 1.00

02:30:07.000 They say the bugs that land on you at night are fucking just atrocious. 1.00

02:30:13.000 These, you know, they have real fucking bugs on that island. 1.00

02:30:16.000 Not to mention, they all have syphilis. 1.00

02:30:20.000 Cubans have syphilis. 1.00

02:30:20.000 I think half my fungi toenail is syphilis because it smells like it. 1.00

02:30:25.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:30:27.000 But. 0.98

02:30:27.000 On the fucking not jokey thing, Cuba's got two weeks left. 0.98

02:30:32.000 Two weeks from today. 0.99

02:30:33.000 And so you think they're going to invade?

02:30:35.000 Yeah, they're going to invade, take Raul out, and then what do you got?

02:30:39.000 They're going to install some new.

02:30:42.000 I remember a couple months ago there was a shooting in Cuba of a boat.

02:30:46.000 You remember that, right?

02:30:47.000 Right, Jamie?

02:30:48.000 Some people were out there fishing, and the Cuban Navy shot them.

02:30:52.000 What?

02:30:52.000 Like three months ago.

02:30:53.000 Oh, yeah.

02:30:54.000 How'd they shoot?

02:30:55.000 I don't know.

02:30:56.000 They were investigating it.

02:30:57.000 Cuba hands out weapons to citizens and tells them prepare for an invasion. 1.00

02:31:01.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

02:31:04.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

02:31:05.000 That's Sunday. 1.00

02:31:05.000 That's June 7th. 1.00

02:31:07.000 Sunday. 1.00

02:31:08.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

02:31:09.000 So, yeah, which one we saw, bro? 1.00

02:31:10.000 They're distributing weapons to citizens in fear of a U.S. invasion.

02:31:14.000 They reportedly started handing out weapons to civilians as the government urges the population to prepare for a potential U.S. invasion.

02:31:20.000 Reports from South American publication version final stated against the backdrop of the deployment of American military power near the island, the government of Havana.

02:31:29.000 Began distributing weapons to citizens, officially urging them to prepare for an imminent foreign invasion.

02:31:35.000 What if the citizens use that weapon to take over the country? 0.83

02:31:38.000 Which they should do. 0.99

02:31:39.000 That's what they fucking should do. 1.00

02:31:41.000 Just call the fucking police. 1.00

02:31:42.000 That's a crazy risk. 1.00

02:31:44.000 Started handing out guns to people.

02:31:45.000 Like I said, man.

02:31:46.000 All of a sudden your population is armed and you're telling them what to do.

02:31:50.000 And they don't have any money and you don't have any money either.

02:31:55.000 Look, man, when I started doing okay, I contacted my sister.

02:32:01.000 I offer her a free ticket out of Cuba, money, whatever I got half is yours, you're my blood, you know?

02:32:07.000 Right.

02:32:08.000 I don't know if I could do that.

02:32:09.000 Okay, why don't we do this?

02:32:11.000 Why don't I fly you to Jersey?

02:32:12.000 You go to your mother's grave, you go see where her house was, her way of life, and then I'll take you back.

02:32:19.000 She told me I can never do that because I'm married to one of Fidel's guys.

02:32:22.000 I don't even want to go to the United States.

02:32:24.000 Oh, jeez. 0.55

02:32:26.000 So she was so brainwashed.

02:32:27.000 And after that, she was still my sister, but I couldn't help her.

02:32:30.000 Well, you're used to what you're used to.

02:32:33.000 Yeah, and that's what it was.

02:32:34.000 You get a big chance of coming to America and not knowing where you're going to eat and how you're going to live and where you're going to get money.

02:32:39.000 Are you going to work?

02:32:41.000 They got programs for all those people, they got churches.

02:32:41.000 Are you going to have a great job?

02:32:44.000 Cuban people have churches.

02:32:46.000 They're Catholics.

02:32:47.000 Is there also a thing where if you leave Cuba, I think it's a cleaner path to get to become a United States citizen if you're fleeing? 0.93

02:32:58.000 Yes, it's easier.

02:32:59.000 Something like that.

02:32:59.000 I think so.

02:33:00.000 If you're fleeing for a violent dictatorship, for a military dictatorship, fuck, dude. 1.00

02:33:07.000 It's just like, what are they going to do about that? 1.00

02:33:10.000 And then we're talking about Vegas. 0.69

02:33:13.000 What's going to happen in Vegas if Cuba reopens?

02:33:15.000 What do you mean?

02:33:16.000 They're going to put gambling back there.

02:33:18.000 You know the Americans are going to put gambling back there.

02:33:20.000 They were negotiating this already with Habers. 0.88

02:33:24.000 Already they're talking. 1.00

02:33:25.000 Turn into a resort?

02:33:27.000 A location?

02:33:28.000 They're not going to rip down the architecture. 0.99

02:33:30.000 That original architecture is what makes Cuba and the cars and shit. 0.98

02:33:34.000 But also something else. 0.99

02:33:36.000 And I know America knows this.

02:33:38.000 Those oceans are booby trapped. 1.00

02:33:41.000 Up to a mile out of Cuba, there's a ton of shit that they have. 0.99

02:33:44.000 Booby trapped. 1.00

02:33:45.000 Mines, all that shit. 1.00

02:33:47.000 They planted those during the Bay of Pigs invasion. 1.00

02:33:50.000 Look at this. 0.92

02:33:51.000 1957.

02:33:52.000 1957, back when the mob ran it.

02:33:55.000 Everybody dressed impeccably.

02:33:55.000 Look at it.

02:33:57.000 They would go there and have people love it.

02:33:59.000 No nothing.

02:34:00.000 They loved it back then.

02:34:01.000 They loved going to Cuba.

02:34:02.000 People would go there, live it up. 0.68

02:34:04.000 And sex was free and cheap. 1.00

02:34:07.000 And you could fuck a chicken those days. 1.00

02:34:09.000 You'd get fucked in the ass by a guy with a big dick. 1.00

02:34:11.000 It was amazing. 1.00

02:34:12.000 Dog, it was unreal. 1.00

02:34:14.000 That's why the whole point of Kennedy and all that was for them to get Cuba back, the Italians. 0.96

02:34:19.000 They were making too much money out of Cuba. 0.98

02:34:22.000 And now they're going to start to put drugs in there and shit towards when they took it down. 1.00

02:34:26.000 Cuba's been fucking riddled with bullshit for years. 1.00

02:34:30.000 Every bad luck that they have, they created in the 50s and 40s because it was a sex heaven. 1.00

02:34:36.000 Americans would go down there on a Friday and not come back. 1.00

02:34:38.000 And, you know, whatever it costs here, $8,000 will cost you $80 to get your dick sucked for three days and fed and people rubbing your feet and shit. 1.00

02:34:47.000 Castro Revolution had a major effect on Las Vegas. 1.00

02:34:50.000 Look at that. 0.97

02:34:51.000 Closure of Havana casinos spurred exodus to the desert.

02:34:55.000 Wow.

02:34:56.000 Frank Mears' father.

02:34:56.000 Especially people in the.

02:34:58.000 Who?

02:34:58.000 Frank Mears' father.

02:35:00.000 What do you mean, Frank Mears' father?

02:35:01.000 Frank Mears' father was a casino.

02:35:02.000 So that's how he ended up in Vegas.

02:35:05.000 Oh, oh.

02:35:05.000 Frank thought you said Frank Mears was connected to.

02:35:07.000 No, so Frank Mears' father was a casino dealer in Cuba.

02:35:11.000 Oh.

02:35:11.000 When Cuba closed down, he went right to Vegas.

02:35:13.000 So a lot of those people went right to Vegas. 0.81

02:35:13.000 Oh. 0.81

02:35:16.000 Wow. 1.00

02:35:17.000 Really interesting shit. 1.00

02:35:18.000 That is interesting. 1.00

02:35:19.000 It makes sense.

02:35:20.000 Because those are the two places.

02:35:21.000 And if you're on the East Coast, the trip to Cuba is easy.

02:35:24.000 With 30 minutes.

02:35:25.000 It's like going to Florida.

02:35:26.000 30 minutes.

02:35:26.000 Yeah.

02:35:27.000 It was what you and your wife would do on a weekend.

02:35:29.000 How far is the flight from New York City to Florida?

02:35:29.000 What are we doing?

02:35:34.000 It's what, an hour?

02:35:35.000 Three.

02:35:36.000 Three hours?

02:35:37.000 Yeah, because Trump is down there now, so they go a different way now.

02:35:40.000 No, you can't go straight to Fort Lauderdale or Miami.

02:35:42.000 You've got to go outside that range if he's in Florida.

02:35:44.000 What did it used to be?

02:35:46.000 Two.

02:35:47.000 Two.

02:35:47.000 It used to be two hours.

02:35:49.000 So New York City to Cuba is only an extra half hour then. 0.59

02:35:52.000 That's it. 0.91

02:35:53.000 So, like, less than three hours.

02:35:55.000 Three hours, you'll be on the hour.

02:35:56.000 So, it's basically the same as Vegas then.

02:35:58.000 Yeah.

02:35:59.000 It's the middle.

02:35:59.000 It's a middle.

02:36:02.000 But you're on an island.

02:36:05.000 It's a resort.

02:36:06.000 Nobody knows what's going on.

02:36:07.000 It's beautiful.

02:36:08.000 You know, I told you that.

02:36:09.000 My mother would tell me how all those Hollywood stars would hide in Cuba, especially Rock Hudson. 1.00

02:36:15.000 That's where they would suck dick on the weekends. 1.00

02:36:17.000 Oh, Rock Hudson. 1.00

02:36:18.000 That makes sense.

02:36:18.000 So all those Hollywood people would go to Cuba, lock themselves in.

02:36:23.000 There was no TMZ.

02:36:24.000 There was no press.

02:36:25.000 Right.

02:36:26.000 You know, these people in Cuba don't have a new, you know, how are they going to get the pay?

02:36:29.000 And everything's run by the mobs.

02:36:30.000 Yeah.

02:36:31.000 It's like just all sin and vice.

02:36:33.000 Whenever you get a minute, you read that Avana Nocturne.

02:36:36.000 That book.

02:36:37.000 What is it called?

02:36:38.000 It's Avana Nocturne.

02:36:39.000 It's a revolution from three different places Union City, New Jersey.

02:36:43.000 New York City and Miami.

02:36:45.000 And how, oh, no, no, not Miami, New York City, Tampa.

02:36:48.000 And how those three cities were like involved in that whole.

02:36:54.000 What do you think is going to happen to Cuba?

02:36:56.000 If you had a guess.

02:36:57.000 If I had a guess, come on, I'm already seeing dollar signs.

02:37:01.000 If you're a casino right now with how bad casinos are doing here, you're looking at that right there.

02:37:07.000 You're looking at Nocturne.

02:37:10.000 How the mob owned Cuba and then lost it to the revolution.

02:37:14.000 Yeah.

02:37:15.000 Picture.

02:37:15.000 Excellent book.

02:37:16.000 And so that was Kennedy trying to get rid of the mob?

02:37:16.000 Excellent.

02:37:19.000 That's why they.

02:37:20.000 When the mob put.

02:37:22.000 Listen, Kennedy's father went to Chicago and he talked to those people.

02:37:27.000 They had the pull.

02:37:28.000 If you live in Chicago or where else, you win the primary.

02:37:31.000 I don't know how it works, Joe.

02:37:32.000 I'm not a political guy.

02:37:33.000 Well, they definitely helped Kennedy get into office.

02:37:35.000 They helped Kennedy get into office.

02:37:37.000 But then when he got into office, they didn't help him get Fidel back.

02:37:40.000 Then the brother double timed them and then they started shooting.

02:37:43.000 And I don't know who shot Kennedy's.

02:37:45.000 I'm just saying this.

02:37:46.000 Well, the mob definitely didn't like him.

02:37:47.000 They were very upset.

02:37:48.000 They cut into their pocket.

02:37:49.000 And the mob helped him get into office in the first place.

02:37:53.000 And then once he got in, they started prosecuting people.

02:37:56.000 And, like, hey. 0.99

02:37:57.000 Then he fucked them with the Bay of Pigs when he pulled off air support at the last minute. 0.99

02:38:02.000 So he didn't know that they were going to do this. 0.99

02:38:05.000 And then when they told him about it, he denied air support.

02:38:08.000 And air support was critical to the success of the mission.

02:38:11.000 And Operation Mongoose, Robert Kennedy spearheaded his secret government project to topple the Cuban communist regime.

02:38:11.000 Absolutely.

02:38:19.000 Working parallel to the CIA's mob assisted efforts.

02:38:23.000 But this is after the revolution, right?

02:38:27.000 This was when Fidel was running Cuba.

02:38:30.000 Right. 1.00

02:38:31.000 They were trying everything they do to kill fucking Fidel. 1.00

02:38:34.000 They were doing everything to save him. 1.00

02:38:36.000 But this is after.

02:38:37.000 So what spurred the Cuban takeover of.

02:38:39.000 The military's taken over of Cuba?

02:38:43.000 Mob bosses like Sam Giancana and Santo Traficante were recruited to help eliminate Castro using methods like poison pills.

02:38:51.000 Mafia wanted Castro gone so they could reopen their multi million dollar Cuban operations.

02:38:56.000 That's all it was.

02:38:56.000 Wow.

02:38:59.000 Big money.

02:38:59.000 Wow.

02:38:59.000 It was money.

02:39:00.000 Untraceable.

02:39:01.000 I can imagine.

02:39:02.000 Unfounded.

02:39:02.000 Untraceable.

02:39:03.000 Nothing, no nothing.

02:39:05.000 And you're over there living the life.

02:39:07.000 Nobody knows nothing. 1.00

02:39:08.000 Miloansky eating fucking Cuban food every day. 1.00

02:39:10.000 They probably had it all set up. 1.00

02:39:12.000 It was nice. 1.00

02:39:12.000 Fucking. 1.00

02:39:13.000 And then the revolution. 1.00

02:39:14.000 Kosher Cuban food every day. 0.99

02:39:15.000 Fucking Miloansky. 0.99

02:39:16.000 So what did the people think? 1.00

02:39:19.000 The people think that these mob motherfuckers, they've taken over our country. 1.00

02:39:23.000 Let's let them. 1.00

02:39:24.000 Castro came in and will be socialists and everything will be great?

02:39:29.000 Or did they just get taken over?

02:39:31.000 They got taken.

02:39:31.000 What happened was Castro went in there.

02:39:33.000 Batista was horrible. 1.00

02:39:34.000 Batista was fucking no better than Castro. 1.00

02:39:38.000 So when Castro took over, it was to take over Batista and make Cuba, blah, blah, blah. 0.99

02:39:43.000 But in the conglomeration, he became a communist somewhere along the line.

02:39:48.000 And then when he took over Cuba, that's when he shut the casinos down. 0.99

02:39:52.000 He destroyed the fucking casinos, you know? 0.99

02:39:54.000 And then the Italians got mad. 1.00

02:39:57.000 They all came back. 1.00

02:39:58.000 And then they were just, they thought it was going to be temporary.

02:40:01.000 Like, this is going to be temporary.

02:40:04.000 We'll clean over this.

02:40:05.000 Clean over this. 1.00

02:40:06.000 So for years, Italians were just watching the news, waiting for somebody to kill fucking Castro. 1.00

02:40:13.000 It was the Italians. 0.99

02:40:15.000 And then when they thought that the United States was going to go in there and invade, like, oh, good. 0.94

02:40:19.000 We're all set.

02:40:20.000 I wish there was more film from those days so people could see.

02:40:23.000 Like, my mother explained things to me.

02:40:25.000 I wish she was still alive because I could have.

02:40:27.000 Like, she said that Italian food was different in Cuba.

02:40:30.000 She goes, first of all, the pizzas had lobster on them and shrimp already back then in the 50s.

02:40:36.000 They were making.

02:40:37.000 She didn't like the pizza in the United States.

02:40:38.000 She goes, not the same.

02:40:39.000 They put. 1.00

02:40:40.000 Fresh shrimp from the fucking ocean. 1.00

02:40:42.000 Right. 1.00

02:40:43.000 Lobster, fucking all these other things. 1.00

02:40:45.000 They got these pies now in New York. 1.00

02:40:47.000 I'm scared to try them.

02:40:48.000 I can't.

02:40:48.000 They put calamari on the pizza.

02:40:51.000 How fat can you get? 1.00

02:40:53.000 How fucking fat do you want to be? 1.00

02:40:55.000 You go to these pizza places in Jersey, dog, it's like Ziti, a pound of Ziti on a slice of pizza. 1.00

02:41:01.000 There's pizza places in Jersey that are just going off.

02:41:04.000 And the sandwich places in Jersey?

02:41:06.000 Oh, your boy's going off.

02:41:08.000 Oh, Giovanni, but that's White Plains.

02:41:11.000 That's still.

02:41:11.000 That's phenomenal.

02:41:13.000 I've been doing a little pizza.

02:41:14.000 There's nothing like Italian delis on the East Coast.

02:41:17.000 There's nothing like that. 1.00

02:41:17.000 That smell like that cheese when you walk in and the fucking olives and shit. 1.00

02:41:21.000 Oh, it's insane. 1.00

02:41:22.000 Unbelievable.

02:41:23.000 Unbelievable.

02:41:23.000 It's insane.

02:41:24.000 There's too much pizza.

02:41:25.000 Like, just too much.

02:41:27.000 You know, it's funny.

02:41:28.000 When I moved down, I'm scared to gain weight.

02:41:30.000 The pizza.

02:41:31.000 I eat one slice a week.

02:41:32.000 Maybe.

02:41:34.000 Maybe.

02:41:36.000 Since I had the knee surgery, I've been doing the podcast at the house.

02:41:40.000 So I've been ordering pizza from this one place, and my buddies go crazy.

02:41:44.000 That's the best pizza we've ever had.

02:41:45.000 It's thin, sweet red sauce.

02:41:47.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

02:41:48.000 Extra cheese, you burn it, it's fucking thin. 0.98

02:41:51.000 And the sweet red sauce, God. 0.99

02:41:51.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

02:41:53.000 They know how to make pizza on the East Coast.

02:41:55.000 And they try out here.

02:41:56.000 They do a pretty good job out here.

02:41:58.000 They try.

02:41:58.000 It's just not the same.

02:41:59.000 It's missing something.

02:42:00.000 Same as the sandwiches.

02:42:02.000 There's some good Italian sandwiches out here. 0.96

02:42:04.000 They're pretty good, but they can't fuck with, like, Giovanni's place. 0.92

02:42:09.000 Bro, Giovanni sent me two shipments that were. 0.98

02:42:12.000 He's the best.

02:42:12.000 I had to give half of it away.

02:42:13.000 I'm like, Giovanni.

02:42:14.000 It sends you so much. 1.00

02:42:15.000 Fucking salamis. 1.00

02:42:17.000 Uh huh. 1.00

02:42:17.000 Salamis. 1.00

02:42:18.000 Oh.

02:42:18.000 Dried salamis.

02:42:19.000 The cheese is incredible, right?

02:42:20.000 Oh, and the cookies. 1.00

02:42:21.000 His fucking cookies. 1.00

02:42:22.000 I'm going to fuck you up in those days. 1.00

02:42:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:42:24.000 You die for it, bro. 1.00

02:42:25.000 You know, and that's everywhere. 1.00

02:42:26.000 Like, I just stop fucking around. 0.99

02:42:29.000 Well, when I go to the East Coast, I just assume I'm being terrible. 0.99

02:42:32.000 I got to take you to this place.

02:42:34.000 Which place?

02:42:35.000 You took me to El Nido.

02:42:36.000 That was phenomenal.

02:42:37.000 El Nido now is Covo Steakhouse.

02:42:40.000 Whatever.

02:42:41.000 It's a steakhouse now?

02:42:42.000 Is it great?

02:42:42.000 Yeah.

02:42:44.000 They fucked me up a couple weeks ago. 0.99

02:42:45.000 I went in there five to nine. 0.99

02:42:47.000 I've been there three weeks in a row with. 0.94

02:42:48.000 Big party and then my wife once and then a friend once I go in there when they're five to nine like let me get a 14 ounce with a fucking beer and they're like we're closed Ain't nobody in here. 0.91

02:43:01.000 You can't make another steak now we're closed. 0.92

02:43:04.000 It's not even nine No reason to go back That's a bummer.

02:43:09.000 You just I was people want to go home. 0.99

02:43:11.000 Yeah, I don't give a fuck. 0.99

02:43:12.000 It's a steak you guys are there's nobody in here. 0.99

02:43:15.000 Right the bar is cute in there Nobody's ever in there.

02:43:18.000 They got a male bartender. 1.00

02:43:19.000 They got a blonde with big You see this place packed the fuck up. 1.00

02:43:22.000 You got a little Spanish guy that's a great guy. 0.99

02:43:26.000 But I go to this place now.

02:43:28.000 They had on the special three weeks ago.

02:43:31.000 You ready?

02:43:33.000 Stuffed shells with lobster meat.

02:43:36.000 And they're caught inside.

02:43:38.000 And he gives you five of them in a tray.

02:43:40.000 Oh, chill.

02:43:42.000 What's this place called?

02:43:43.000 Osteria.

02:43:45.000 Where's it at?

02:43:46.000 Marlboro.

02:43:47.000 This is my spot.

02:43:48.000 Yeah?

02:43:49.000 I go there because the dude will do whatever I ask him to do.

02:43:52.000 Like he'll, he has a menu, but then he'll go, Joey, have you tasted my Italian fried rice?

02:43:57.000 You're like, What are you talking about, Italian fried rice?

02:44:00.000 And he makes risotto with lobster and shrimp, a fried rice.

02:44:04.000 So he's going to add it.

02:44:05.000 He's got a new restaurant opening.

02:44:06.000 So he lets me sample everything.

02:44:09.000 He makes a cheesesteak to die for with the bread with the seeds on it.

02:44:14.000 Oh, yeah.

02:44:15.000 The semolina bread.

02:44:16.000 Yeah.

02:44:19.000 Oh, my God.

02:44:20.000 Osteria.

02:44:21.000 There it is.

02:44:22.000 Oh, that looks good.

02:44:24.000 Yeah, there's nothing like East Coast Italian food.

02:44:27.000 Nothing even compares.

02:44:29.000 No, Steve and Angelo in there. 1.00

02:44:30.000 Bro, they don't fuck around. 1.00

02:44:32.000 All right, let's wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:44:33.000 Bro, thank you for having me. 1.00

02:44:35.000 My pleasure.

02:44:35.000 What do you think?

02:44:35.000 I love you.

02:44:36.000 Thursday. 0.98

02:44:37.000 I'm in Rambo World. 0.98

02:44:38.000 All right, all right.

02:44:38.000 But I'm in Atlantic City, 7th and 8th at Oceans Casino, White People Casino.

02:44:43.000 July 7th and 8th.

02:44:44.000 No, August.

02:44:45.000 August 7th and 8th.

02:44:46.000 Okay.

02:44:47.000 Chicago got announced.

02:44:48.000 November 5th.

02:44:50.000 What's the website for people to go to find out details? 0.99

02:44:52.000 I got no fucking website. 0.98

02:44:53.000 You know the website? 0.99

02:44:54.000 joeydiaz.com or net.

02:44:55.000 Is that real?

02:44:56.000 I don't know anymore.

02:44:58.000 All right, well, they'll find you.

02:44:59.000 They'll find you.

02:45:00.000 So, one more time, where's the casino?

02:45:03.000 Oceans Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey, the 7th and 8th.

02:45:06.000 Beautiful.

02:45:06.000 Tremendous.

02:45:07.000 All right.

02:45:07.000 I think the governor's coming.

02:45:09.000 The governor?

02:45:10.000 Yeah, Mikey Sherrill.

02:45:11.000 I don't even like her, but I do like Mikey Sherrill.

02:45:15.000 I do like Mikey Sherrill because she's a Democrat.

02:45:17.000 You're not supposed to like her, but it was funny.

02:45:18.000 I went to a restaurant, some guy's like, hey, man, life would have been so much better with Jack Cittorelli. 0.99

02:45:23.000 I go, I know, but he lost by 400,000 fucking votes. 0.99

02:45:26.000 He tried to, a Republican in Jersey, that's never going to fucking work. 1.00

02:45:29.000 They've been Democrats since Jesus showed up. 0.99

02:45:32.000 So, 400,000 votes, bro.

02:45:35.000 That's a lot. 0.98

02:45:36.000 I'd be in my house with the windows fucking like Sonny Black and Donnie Brasco with the windows, the shades drawn for a year. 0.99

02:45:42.000 400,000 fucking people. 0.99

02:45:43.000 Did you see that podcast I did with Joe Pistone? 1.00

02:45:45.000 Yes, very good.

02:45:46.000 Crazy.

02:45:47.000 He was very good on me.

02:45:48.000 He was amazing.

02:45:48.000 He's a good dude, too.

02:45:49.000 He's a good white fucking savage. 1.00

02:45:51.000 What a crazy life. 1.00

02:45:53.000 The real Donnie Brasco. 1.00

02:45:54.000 I mean, he really fucking lived like that. 0.99

02:45:56.000 And he infiltrated the bananos. 0.99

02:45:58.000 Yeah, deep.

02:45:59.000 They never recovered from them. 0.98

02:46:01.000 They even lived after he fucking came out and they found out he was a cop. 0.98

02:46:04.000 They're like, oh, you were better than me. 0.98

02:46:07.000 That's like one of the guys said that to him.

02:46:09.000 Hey, you won.

02:46:10.000 You beat me.

02:46:12.000 Wow, nuts. 0.89

02:46:14.000 All right.

02:46:15.000 I love you too.

02:46:15.000 I love you, brother.

02:46:16.000 We're going to have fun tonight.

02:46:16.000 Thank you very much.

02:46:18.000 All right.

02:46:20.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - June 10, 2026

Joe Rogan Experience #2512 - Joey Diaz

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript