The Joe Rogan Experience - November 22, 2012


Joe Rogan Experience #288 - Greg Proops

Topics
Higher Primate artwork diet and supplements Happy People bath salts psychoactive drugs psychedelic cultures psychedelic drugs performing podcast live podcast creativity podcasts are feeding other living in san francisco gay marriage notes setless
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Greg Proops
Mentioned
Brian Santa Claus Powerful Greg Proops Doug Benson Duncan Trussell Dickens Jackie Robinson Eisenhower John McCaffrey John Marco Allegro Joe Rogan Podcast Mike Maxwell Jesus Christ Breaking Bad Steve Marmel Adam Hunter Reagan Soma McCaffrey Antivirus Greg Fitzsimmons and 69 more
Joe Rogan Experience #285 - Tim Ferriss Joe Rogan Experience #289 - Shane Smith

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 49 minutes

Words per minute

184.99

Word count

20,260

Sentence count

2,397

Harmful content

Misogyny

28

sentences flagged

Toxicity

567

sentences flagged

Hate speech

52

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, Joe and Brian are joined by Greg Proops to talk about a variety of topics, including: - Joe's recent trip to San Diego to pick up a care package for his friend Mike Maxwell - Brian's new shirt - and much, much more! - and a special guest appearance from Joe himself! Thanks to Onnit and Audible for sponsoring this episode. Use the code ROGAN at checkout to save 10% off any and all supplements for men. And if you use the code "ROGAN" at checkout, you get 20% off your first pack of Onnit's Alpha Brain Sum. You don't have to even return the product if it doesn't work out, and there's a 100% money-back guarantee. It's not even close to the retail price of the supplements you get at Onnit! If you don't already own a copy of Alpha Brain, you can get a discount of up to $200 when you buy your first 30 pills. Onnit is a company that is partially owned by me, so it's very important to me and I'm here to make sure you get the best product possible for your health and well-being. I'm not here to sell you anything, I'm just here to help you find the best stuff you need. We're here to give you the best quality, affordable, affordable products that last the best possible for you. your best chance to get the most bang for your money and your best day in your best possible chance at the most likely. - and we're going to make the most out of your day to day life. . Joe Rogans podcast. Joe's new book "The Dickens" is out now! and it's out in the mail! And it's also available on Amazon Prime and VaynerSpeak, so make sure to check it out! Subscribe and review it out so you can be sure you're getting the best deal on the best of what you can find on Amazon, the most authentic Dickens, the best Dickens ever. and the most original Dickens in the world. or any other kind of Dickens you can use to make your own Dickens, too. of course, you're not going to want to miss out on it! - it's a good one! Thank you for listening and supporting the pod, Joe's not alone!

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:03.000 Are we live?
00:00:03.000 Thank you, sweet Jesus.
00:00:05.000 Are we live, Brian?
00:00:06.000 Yeah!
00:00:06.000 This is real?
00:00:07.000 Mm-hmm.
00:00:07.000 Powerful Greg Proops.
00:00:08.000 Thanks for doing this, man.
00:00:09.000 Really appreciate it.
00:00:10.000 It's a pleasure, Joe.
00:00:11.000 Pleasure to see you, sir.
00:00:12.000 Before we do this, our podcast is sponsored by Onnit.com.
00:00:16.000 Go to O-N-N-I-T. This is a short podcast.
00:00:19.000 I'll keep this brief as fuck. 0.99
00:00:21.000 Go get yourself some Alpha Brain Sum. 0.99
00:00:22.000 Go get yourself some brain vitamins and some shroom tech for your endurance, which mine sucks right now. 0.99
00:00:28.000 It's fucking depressing. 0.99
00:00:29.000 I'm bringing a care package on it to Mike Maxwell in San Diego tonight. 0.99
00:00:33.000 Nice! 0.94
00:00:34.000 He drew a picture of me.
00:00:36.000 Look at this, dude.
00:00:37.000 Look at this shirt.
00:00:37.000 Yeah, Mike Maxwell's shirt.
00:00:38.000 This is the new Higher Primate design that Mike Maxwell did. 0.99
00:00:42.000 It's fucking wicked. 0.98
00:00:43.000 I'm addicted to his artwork. 0.99
00:00:45.000 He's a very good artist.
00:00:46.000 And he's a very cool guy, too.
00:00:49.000 He's gone with us on the road.
00:00:51.000 That's you, you freak.
00:00:52.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:00:53.000 Yeah, he's really good.
00:00:54.000 And again, like I said, a great guy, too.
00:00:56.000 Yeah.
00:00:57.000 Anyway, good.
00:00:59.000 Get him some alpha brain. 1.00
00:01:00.000 All that good shit. 1.00
00:01:02.000 Whatever you do with your health, the most important thing is your diet. 0.99
00:01:08.000 It sounds silly to preach that because everybody sort of should know it at this stage of life.
00:01:14.000 But eating healthy food will make a huge impact on the way your body feels.
00:01:18.000 It's just a fact.
00:01:20.000 We take it for granted because other food is delicious. 0.99
00:01:23.000 Kentucky Fried Chicken fucking tastes awesome. 0.99
00:01:27.000 But it's not that good for you. 0.99
00:01:28.000 And if you eat healthy, and especially if you supplement nutrients along with eating healthy, your body will work better.
00:01:35.000 Your brain will work better.
00:01:36.000 It's a fact.
00:01:37.000 There's science behind it, and the science behind Alpha Brain is isolating all the nutrients that are responsible for cognitive function. 0.97
00:01:44.000 All of the nutrients that stimulate your brain's production of all the good shit that it needs to think good. 0.97
00:01:52.000 In scientific terms. 0.98
00:01:54.000 All of it is explained at Onnit.com.
00:01:57.000 Your first 30 pills that you buy, there's a 100% money-back guarantee.
00:02:01.000 You don't have to even return the product. 0.99
00:02:04.000 You just say, this shit didn't do anything for me. 0.99
00:02:06.000 No one's trying to rip you off. 0.99
00:02:07.000 We're just trying to sell you the best vitamins and nutrients and exercise equipment and everything we're selling. 0.99
00:02:13.000 We're just trying to find the best shit you can get. 0.97
00:02:15.000 We have the best blenders, Blendtec blenders. 0.99
00:02:19.000 For blending like kale shakes and stuff like that.
00:02:22.000 And we sell them for $200 less than the manufactured retail suggested price.
00:02:28.000 We try to make everything as fair as possible. 0.99
00:02:31.000 All the shit we're selling you is just the best shit possible. 0.99
00:02:35.000 At the most reasonable prices possible. 1.00
00:02:38.000 This...
00:02:40.000 Supplement company is partially owned by me, so it's very important to me, anything that we get involved with, whether it's Onnit or Ting or whether it's Audible.com, it's all products that we believe in.
00:02:55.000 And if you go to Onnit.com and use the code name ROGAN, you will save 10% off any and all supplements for men.
00:03:01.000 Alright, I'm done.
00:03:02.000 It's not supplements for men either.
00:03:05.000 That doesn't even make any sense.
00:03:08.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:03:10.000 Train by day!
00:03:11.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night!
00:03:13.000 All day!
00:03:14.000 Powerful Greg Proops.
00:03:17.000 Dude, great to see you, man.
00:03:18.000 Thank you very much for coming down and doing this.
00:03:19.000 Awesome to be here, Joe.
00:03:21.000 You said the Dickens before?
00:03:22.000 You're the only person I even know.
00:03:24.000 That can say the Dickens, and it sounds perfect.
00:03:27.000 It fit right in there.
00:03:29.000 It meant to be said that way.
00:03:31.000 The Dickens.
00:03:33.000 I'm as loud as the Dickens.
00:03:35.000 Nobody uses the Dickens anymore, and it's quite a good one. 0.91
00:03:38.000 It's got dick in it, which makes it king right off the tip. 0.99
00:03:42.000 And you can sneak dick in. 1.00
00:03:44.000 Exactly, dude. 0.99
00:03:45.000 It's like showing bunt and swinging away as Dickens, because it comes back on you. 0.91
00:03:49.000 Really?
00:03:50.000 If you said...
00:03:51.000 If you say to someone, you know, loud as the dickens, they can't say anything.
00:03:55.000 Like, you'd say that to your grandmother.
00:03:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:03:57.000 Children.
00:03:57.000 That's amazing.
00:03:58.000 You little dickens.
00:03:59.000 That's so strange. 0.54
00:04:01.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:01.000 It's weird that certain sounds that are, like, super offensive, and if you sneak one out.
00:04:06.000 I mean, we still agree to that.
00:04:08.000 Oh yeah, we do.
00:04:09.000 It's so preposterous.
00:04:11.000 Isn't it? 1.00
00:04:11.000 It's so fucking silly. 1.00
00:04:13.000 And why grant words that much dominion over your emotions and stuff? 1.00
00:04:17.000 Like, just the trigger of a sound is enough to make you fucking lose your shit and protest or write a letter. 0.99
00:04:23.000 Yeah, it's like we're almost agreeing that... 0.99
00:04:27.000 The heights that you could reach at your worst, at your nastiest, the way you feel about someone, is not really reached with regular language.
00:04:33.000 We have to reserve those extreme moments for one extreme word. 0.95
00:04:38.000 And if we don't do that, we're never going to adequately portray how fucking mad we are. 0.95
00:04:43.000 True. 0.53
00:04:43.000 So if you use it too much, I guess that's what's going on. 0.53
00:04:46.000 I'm guilty of that, as much as any other comic. 0.99
00:04:49.000 I'm profane, and I will say fuck too many times. 0.99
00:04:51.000 Especially, though, during the setting of a nightclub comedy act. 1.00
00:04:56.000 That's when you're having a few drinks, you're unwinding, and you're like, fuck this, man. 0.99
00:05:01.000 That's where it's supposed to come out. 1.00
00:05:02.000 I think so, too.
00:05:04.000 I had to do a classy gig in Chicago a couple years ago.
00:05:08.000 I was playing at Disney's, and they go, do you want to do this Chicago theater gig?
00:05:12.000 You know, the Trib puts it on.
00:05:14.000 Stedman's going to be there.
00:05:15.000 And what's his name from Sticks? 0.99
00:05:17.000 You know, fucking Dennis, right? 0.99
00:05:21.000 From Sticks? 0.98
00:05:22.000 I don't know if you know Sticks, but you remember Sticks, right?
00:05:25.000 Yeah, I do remember them.
00:05:26.000 I can't remember.
00:05:26.000 What was it?
00:05:27.000 And then they did...
00:05:30.000 Lady, when you're with me.
00:05:34.000 So, Styx.
00:05:35.000 The dude shows up from Styx.
00:05:38.000 He used the word preposterous a minute ago. 0.94
00:05:40.000 He had a preposterous wife. 0.99
00:05:41.000 His wife was wearing bubblegum pink and had a funny Penelope Pitstop hairdo and giant lips and earrings and was like a delightful cartoon of what a rock star's wife would be in a comic book. 1.00
00:05:54.000 Like in a picture, in a cartoon.
00:05:57.000 He was cool.
00:05:58.000 He looked good.
00:05:59.000 I would get in there to do it, and I'm being interviewed by the theater critic from the Tribune, right?
00:06:04.000 As an artist, right?
00:06:05.000 Because they're, you know, let's do a newspaper then.
00:06:07.000 So, you know, Joe Rogan, let's talk about your acting.
00:06:09.000 You know, it's that.
00:06:10.000 And it's polite company.
00:06:11.000 And then I have to do five.
00:06:13.000 And I realize, as I look through my act frantically outside, I... And profane in every setup.
00:06:20.000 I'm going to have to calculatedly think and work really hard to remove the profane from every single line.
00:06:27.000 And then, of course, I did it, and I don't think I slipped, but I did a joke about Obama or something, and they were a little more rich than that at one point.
00:06:35.000 And I went, that joke's really funny if you're blue-collar.
00:06:39.000 And then they laughed at that, the acknowledgement to that. 0.98
00:06:43.000 That's gotta suck, man, that feeling. 0.79
00:06:45.000 Well, there was a nice crowd, and I thought, I'm an intelligent act. 0.97
00:06:48.000 You know what I mean?
00:06:49.000 Right, right, right. 1.00
00:06:50.000 Why can't I lay five minutes of philosophy on these fuckers? 1.00
00:06:53.000 Instead, I, oh shit. 1.00
00:06:54.000 You know when you go to the fucking thing, you know, like you think, really? 1.00
00:06:58.000 That's, you know, yes, because I'm playing a club. 0.99
00:07:01.000 Yeah, that's what you're...
00:07:02.000 Well, that's why I can't do anything other than the stand-up.
00:07:06.000 Like, I won't do stand-up in any other form.
00:07:08.000 I don't want to do it on a talk show.
00:07:10.000 I don't want to do it...
00:07:10.000 It just doesn't seem like that...
00:07:12.000 Although I appreciate there's a different art form to crafting a really nice seven-minute set for, like, a Tonight Show set or something like that.
00:07:19.000 I mean, I know a lot of guys who are awesome at that.
00:07:21.000 For me, I can't...
00:07:22.000 It doesn't represent me.
00:07:24.000 It doesn't represent...
00:07:25.000 I think it's fantastic that you have that point of view.
00:07:28.000 I've done them over the years, and it's never the best way I'm on TV. Yeah.
00:07:32.000 For four minutes, I think I'm perplexing.
00:07:34.000 You know what I mean?
00:07:35.000 Like, why?
00:07:36.000 Well, I think it's an awesome opportunity for comics to get seen, and for the longest time, it was, like, the best one. 0.95
00:07:42.000 Like, if you could get on Carson, you know, and Carson have you come down, sit next to him on the couch, like, you were a fucking winner, man.
00:07:49.000 And you could pack comedy clubs from that. 0.98
00:07:51.000 Yeah.
00:07:51.000 Yeah, but this is sort of a different time, and now it's a very limiting thing, and it seems silly.
00:07:57.000 The whole pageantry of it seems silly.
00:08:00.000 The band playing when people walk out and sit down.
00:08:03.000 And this weird conversation in front of people.
00:08:06.000 I mean, I enjoy doing them, but they're an odd art form.
00:08:10.000 There's an odd fakery weirdness to the whole thing that's not necessary anymore.
00:08:15.000 Well, there's almost a 50s-ness about it.
00:08:17.000 It's one of the first TV shows, you know?
00:08:20.000 Because I don't know that there were lots of famous chat shows on the radio.
00:08:25.000 There was lots of famous variety shows and every other kind of show, but I don't remember hearing about ones where people sat around and talked.
00:08:31.000 It seems to be a function of television.
00:08:33.000 Because it's so cool, as they say, right?
00:08:35.000 That because you're kicked back and detached and watching it, you can sit and watch people just go, blah, blah, blah, my book.
00:08:42.000 Blah, blah, blah.
00:08:42.000 We shot a movie in Ireland.
00:08:43.000 It was really hard.
00:08:45.000 And that's entertainment.
00:08:47.000 But it has been...
00:08:47.000 I don't know.
00:08:49.000 I would say Steve Allen kind of pioneered making it a thing on TV, that exact format with the band and comics and sketches.
00:08:56.000 And they've just stuck to it.
00:08:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:08:58.000 It's variations within a theme.
00:09:00.000 Everybody's done one.
00:09:02.000 Yeah.
00:09:03.000 Like you say, it's funny.
00:09:04.000 In your show, when you come on, maybe there's music, a song you like or whatever.
00:09:09.000 We have theme songs for our shows on the podcast.
00:09:12.000 But when you come on on TV and they play a little...
00:09:15.000 Joe Rogan!
00:09:19.000 He's going to be playing Tuskies in Omaha.
00:09:22.000 You're like, really?
00:09:23.000 This is big.
00:09:26.000 I should have shined my shoes.
00:09:30.000 Yeah, what is that hokey fake thing that we do with that?
00:09:34.000 The hokey fake thing political guys do when they give speeches?
00:09:37.000 Yeah.
00:09:38.000 They're like fake.
00:09:39.000 I love that, though.
00:09:40.000 The whole pageantry of it all.
00:09:41.000 That's really old.
00:09:42.000 To me, the hokey fake thing of political speeches, now you're going back to the dawn of man, right?
00:09:47.000 The first person that got up in front of everybody and went, all right, all right.
00:09:50.000 You know?
00:09:52.000 It's been a craft for so long, and it's been refined in so many cultures that the idea of putting forth this...
00:09:59.000 I got the word sophistry thrown at me yesterday.
00:10:01.000 I don't kick it around much.
00:10:02.000 Well, what is that word?
00:10:03.000 It means a false philosophy using big words. 0.97
00:10:07.000 Like, I'll throw an idea at you and back it up with a bunch of shit, but it's not true at all. 0.98
00:10:11.000 That's my whole life. 0.98
00:10:12.000 Exactly.
00:10:13.000 The guy tweeted me and said, because I do definitions on my show, like, lately I've been doing political ones like democracy and, you know, Like, let's talk about feminism, things like that.
00:10:23.000 Like, people say it a lot, you hear it a lot, but not everybody knows what it actually, the dictionary definition, like, where we're supposed to start with it.
00:10:31.000 Right.
00:10:32.000 So, he wrote, how about sophistry?
00:10:34.000 And I wrote back, what are you implying?
00:10:36.000 Right.
00:10:37.000 Right? 1.00
00:10:38.000 Because I looked it up and went, you fucking dick. 1.00
00:10:42.000 Don't shoot one in my heart. 1.00
00:10:43.000 That's a brutal one. 1.00
00:10:45.000 Yeah, it is.
00:10:45.000 That's a clever person.
00:10:46.000 You can run into those clever fellows online.
00:10:49.000 And they're always waiting out there for you.
00:10:51.000 I get emails.
00:10:52.000 I make mistakes in my show, right?
00:10:54.000 And I read the corrections people send me.
00:10:57.000 I called Genghis Khan Genghis Khan because I'd read this book where it said it was kind of pronounced like that.
00:11:03.000 And a dude wrote me who had lived in Mongolia.
00:11:06.000 And he broke it down and gave me the syllable by syllable.
00:11:09.000 It's like Chinggis Khan or whatever. 0.89
00:11:11.000 Oh, he said it's more complicated.
00:11:14.000 But like Ching as in like, you know, ka-ching. 1.00
00:11:17.000 You know, like he broke the hole.
00:11:19.000 And then like, yeah, I lived in Ulaanbaatar.
00:11:21.000 I taught French to the, you know, or whatever, like...
00:11:24.000 So you never get away with anything.
00:11:26.000 Unless they've come up with some wild fantasy that they've committed to an email.
00:11:30.000 It doesn't seem like people would.
00:11:32.000 I trust that most people are telling me that.
00:11:35.000 Yeah, I've always been fascinated by the noises that people make in their languages.
00:11:41.000 Like something like that.
00:11:43.000 That can be a word.
00:11:46.000 It's so alien from the English way of styling words.
00:11:51.000 It's so strange that there's so many varieties all over the planet.
00:11:55.000 That's a really psychedelic thing.
00:11:57.000 When you're in another country and you're around a bunch of people and they're saying things and you don't understand.
00:12:02.000 Like Japan. 0.95
00:12:02.000 Japan was very psychedelic. 0.95
00:12:04.000 Because you're just in your other all the time.
00:12:07.000 Completely.
00:12:08.000 And you don't know the key because you don't even understand one sentence.
00:12:12.000 You don't know anything about their culture either.
00:12:14.000 Their culture is completely different than ours. 0.80
00:12:16.000 It's like...
00:12:16.000 Things that we accept, they don't.
00:12:19.000 It's very odd walking amongst them.
00:12:21.000 It was really strange.
00:12:22.000 It was like, that's a truly different culture that just sort of evolved over there.
00:12:27.000 Do you think it's an island thing?
00:12:29.000 I mean, certainly could have been.
00:12:31.000 But they're starting to figure out now that there was so much travel that even Neanderthals were using boats and that they might have even been using boats before people, before Homo sapiens.
00:12:42.000 I subscribe to that and I will further that theory and say that I think that all the preconceived notions about people not intermingling with each other and meeting each other are nonsense and that people did it since people could make a boat, basically.
00:12:57.000 And that the coastlines of all the continents have...
00:13:00.000 Risen.
00:13:01.000 They were lower tens of thousands of years ago, and people lived in those places, and those places are covered with water, so we cannot find all the stuff that was there.
00:13:11.000 I know it's sounding like a kook, but I mean... 0.99
00:13:13.000 It's not kooky at all.
00:13:15.000 Remember Contiki and all that, where they took the boat from Africa to South America to prove you could do it? 0.96
00:13:21.000 They made a reed boat in Egypt, and Thor Heydall sailed it to South America.
00:13:26.000 They did it a few times.
00:13:27.000 But when you think about...
00:13:29.000 Even the Conquistadors or whatever.
00:13:31.000 Those little caravels they're in or whatever are not that seaworthy.
00:13:34.000 And in about three or four weeks, they would make it.
00:13:36.000 And then they'd kind of, you know, get in.
00:13:38.000 And you think, if they did it, everybody did it.
00:13:42.000 The Polynesians went all the way up, right? 0.95
00:13:46.000 To Hawaii.
00:13:47.000 To Hawaii, which is not near anything.
00:13:49.000 But trade winds blow to it, right?
00:13:51.000 So they took the trade wind in, and they gathered water on sails, right?
00:13:56.000 At night, with a gourd underneath.
00:13:58.000 It dripped down.
00:13:59.000 That's how they got their water?
00:14:00.000 Oh my god.
00:14:01.000 On the road.
00:14:02.000 Oh my god.
00:14:03.000 And they brought pigs and whatnot. 0.81
00:14:05.000 Jesus Christ.
00:14:06.000 On giant catamarans. 0.99
00:14:07.000 What a fucking crazy experience that must have been. 1.00
00:14:10.000 Those people had balls. 1.00
00:14:12.000 You want to talk about balls. 0.99
00:14:14.000 Dude, you lost a lot of people on the way. 0.96
00:14:16.000 It took a while to get that established.
00:14:18.000 Yeah, you couldn't just get that the first shot. 0.99
00:14:20.000 You're going to fuck that up. 1.00
00:14:22.000 Someone's going to die of thirst the first time, or their son's going to kill them. 1.00
00:14:26.000 God damn it. 1.00
00:14:27.000 The shark eats them, or the boat tips over, or there's a squall. 0.99
00:14:30.000 Because it's the South...
00:14:31.000 It's the Pacific.
00:14:32.000 The South Pacific, man. 1.00
00:14:34.000 It's the squalliest, stormiest, fucking... 1.00
00:14:36.000 Yeah, I've seen some fucking crazy storms in Hawaii. 1.00
00:14:39.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:14:40.000 No, they're...
00:14:41.000 Because, you know, I was in New Zealand, and the Maoris came down there and wiped out whatever was there before them in the Middle Ages, and then the white people came after them.
00:14:50.000 But they traveled extensively.
00:14:52.000 I mean...
00:14:53.000 And Polynesians got around town.
00:14:56.000 They're like all up and down. 0.80
00:14:57.000 Yeah, they were crazy, loked out people that would make boats out of trees. 1.00
00:15:03.000 Just chop a fucking tree down, hollow that bitch out. 1.00
00:15:06.000 Navigating. 1.00
00:15:07.000 They knew the currents.
00:15:09.000 They knew they could read The breeze, you know? 1.00
00:15:11.000 Yeah, it's fucking nuts, man. 1.00
00:15:13.000 How the air tasted. 1.00
00:15:14.000 They must have had to have passed that shit down from generation to generation, too. 1.00
00:15:19.000 It's extraordinary. 1.00
00:15:20.000 No one talks about that.
00:15:21.000 People talk about the explorers exploring, which is extraordinary.
00:15:24.000 But the people who settled Hawaii or any of those far-flung places like that...
00:15:30.000 What is an undertaking? 1.00
00:15:31.000 Yeah, what fucking badasses. 1.00
00:15:34.000 What fucking incredible badasses. 1.00
00:15:36.000 That's why Hawaiians are so tough. 1.00
00:15:38.000 Yeah, they are.
00:15:39.000 Like, Hawaii is one of the last places where people have, like, regular street fights.
00:15:45.000 They film them all the time in Hawaii.
00:15:47.000 You see fights in a restaurant.
00:15:50.000 You'll be sitting and two guys are like, hey, you want to mix?
00:15:53.000 They're aggressive, man.
00:15:54.000 They're aggressive. 0.99
00:15:55.000 You have to be to get in a fucking boat and row out to the middle of the ocean hoping you're going to find something. 0.99
00:16:02.000 Those are the most loked out people alive. 1.00
00:16:04.000 With your little idol on your deck singing songs and shit. 1.00
00:16:07.000 Paddling. 1.00
00:16:08.000 Fucking casting for fish, right? 0.99
00:16:10.000 Trying to catch fish as you go to the ocean. 1.00
00:16:13.000 Fucking hoping the water holds out where you find a fucking island. 0.99
00:16:16.000 And there's no islands between Hawaii and anything. 0.99
00:16:19.000 It's about, what, 2,500 miles from the nearest landmass?
00:16:23.000 2,500 miles going how fast, too?
00:16:25.000 How fast can you even go? 1.00
00:16:27.000 You better catch the fucking wind and you better have it at your back. 1.00
00:16:29.000 You're just sort of floating around out there. 0.99
00:16:31.000 You're not really going to get any good pace going.
00:16:35.000 How long does it take to get a sailboat across the...
00:16:37.000 Like, the modern sailboats, they can do it fairly quickly.
00:16:40.000 Well, I'm reading this Columbus book to be the complete bore about it.
00:16:43.000 And they said he got over in four weeks on the last one, on the fourth journey, in like 1502, whatever.
00:16:49.000 Four weeks? 1.00
00:16:50.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:16:51.000 In a Carabelle. 0.99
00:16:52.000 Four Carabelles.
00:16:53.000 And he...
00:16:56.000 The author says, a sailor today would be hard-pressed to make that kind of time.
00:17:02.000 He's made time because that thing they said about Columbus for all of his shortcomings and his ego, he could dead reckon nobody in the business.
00:17:13.000 He didn't use instruments. 0.97
00:17:15.000 Instruments, according to this author, fucked him up.
00:17:18.000 He'd take out the section and he couldn't do a good reading. 0.93
00:17:20.000 Then he'd go north by north. 0.99
00:17:23.000 And they'd fucking... 0.99
00:17:24.000 You know, like, he was that navigator. 0.99
00:17:27.000 He found thousands of islands in the Caribbean.
00:17:30.000 Like, he found every island in the Caribbean.
00:17:32.000 Really?
00:17:33.000 Yeah.
00:17:33.000 Wow.
00:17:34.000 Yes, just by fucking sailing every night to a different place. 0.99
00:17:37.000 Like, he was that. 0.99
00:17:39.000 How much do we know about the accuracy of the horrible things that were said about him?
00:17:44.000 Like, the most recent stuff.
00:17:45.000 Like, when we were in high school, we never really heard anything bad about Columbus or his missions.
00:17:50.000 But then...
00:17:52.000 When I was in college, I had heard something about bashing babies and killing babies and all the different things that they did to the Native Americans.
00:18:04.000 They definitely burned people and hung them and stuff and cut their nose. 0.99
00:18:06.000 After you fucked them, you didn't want to see them around anymore. 1.00
00:18:09.000 Well, there's that. 0.99
00:18:10.000 They certainly did that.
00:18:11.000 There's certainly that. 0.94
00:18:12.000 Within a couple generations, they'd killed every Indian in the Caribbean. 0.74
00:18:16.000 There are no Indians in the Caribbean.
00:18:18.000 Like they were in South America and Central America. 0.88
00:18:20.000 They just showed up and just started ganking people.
00:18:22.000 I mean, what happened? 0.92
00:18:23.000 Did they find conflict with the Native Americans?
00:18:28.000 He was not a great administrator and he was not a great...
00:18:43.000 Whoa.
00:18:48.000 Whoa.
00:19:01.000 50,000 Indians by some count, historical count, committed suicide rather than be under the Spaniards' dominion.
00:19:07.000 And this is before there's even colonies.
00:19:09.000 There's like his colonies.
00:19:10.000 50,000?
00:19:11.000 Yeah.
00:19:11.000 50,000?
00:19:12.000 This is the beginning of it all.
00:19:14.000 And then they were sending them back to slaves.
00:19:16.000 I mean, imagine, though, the high point of his life is obviously...
00:19:31.000 Right.
00:19:43.000 West. 0.99
00:19:44.000 Who knows what the fuck's up there? 0.99
00:19:45.000 We don't... 0.99
00:19:45.000 We have China. 0.99
00:19:46.000 That's what they thought, right?
00:19:47.000 So...
00:19:48.000 The crazy...
00:19:50.000 He gets back after that mission, leaves a bunch of guys there.
00:19:53.000 I'm not kidding, on the first mission.
00:19:55.000 Leaves like 40 guys in Hispaniola.
00:19:58.000 Oh my God.
00:19:59.000 Thugs off back to Spain.
00:20:00.000 What happens to those guys?
00:20:01.000 They all died. 0.99
00:20:02.000 The Indians killed them all, man. 1.00
00:20:04.000 They started raping the women and taking guys as slaves. 1.00
00:20:08.000 They started like, eh. 0.99
00:20:10.000 But the cultural exchange and the echo exchange begins immediately, right?
00:20:14.000 They had hammocks.
00:20:16.000 We'd never seen a hammock.
00:20:17.000 They'd never seen a candle.
00:20:18.000 They had tobacco and potatoes and tomatoes and, you know, turkeys.
00:20:25.000 They changed the world, right?
00:20:27.000 And the Europeans had, you know, guns and steel and pigs and disease. 0.99
00:20:34.000 How long did it take after they arrived before the Indians killed them all? 1.00
00:20:40.000 Well, on that one, they left them there and went back to Spain.
00:20:43.000 So those guys just kind of had a drunk village for a while, and then the Indians kind of got them. 0.99
00:20:47.000 And then there were Karibs there who ate people. 1.00
00:20:49.000 It's still so weird that we say Indians.
00:20:51.000 It's such a programmed thing.
00:20:53.000 Columbus, that's his legacy, man.
00:20:55.000 He's so powerful, whether he's a villain or whatever.
00:20:58.000 And of course, he is a villain, obviously, in some ways.
00:21:00.000 But if it wasn't him, this is a terrible excuse, but someone was coming.
00:21:06.000 Someone was coming.
00:21:07.000 Because within 30 years, everybody came.
00:21:09.000 Isn't it crazy how much more...
00:21:11.000 And then the Dutch and the French and the, you know... 0.91
00:21:13.000 How much more gangster one part of the world was?
00:21:15.000 There was race, baby.
00:21:17.000 They were racing.
00:21:19.000 And...
00:21:19.000 It was really for, like, a Roman ideal of, like, for the bounty, man.
00:21:24.000 For the bounty. 0.96
00:21:25.000 For the glory of the empire and the church and for fucking find whatever you can and take it in our name. 0.98
00:21:32.000 And gifts with acclamations. 0.93
00:21:34.000 The king and queen of glorious Catholic Spain welcome, you know, join us.
00:21:40.000 That's what they were.
00:21:41.000 And then, of course, it always goes horribly wrong.
00:21:43.000 Always goes horribly wrong.
00:21:45.000 The greed.
00:21:45.000 The greed.
00:21:46.000 They wanted gold.
00:21:48.000 Even Columbus wanted gold, and they wanted gold.
00:21:51.000 And there's no gold in the Caribbean.
00:21:52.000 It was always those scenes in the movies where a guy would ride up on a horse with a decree, and they'd open it up, and then they'd have to figure out.
00:22:01.000 Then they killed him, and then they were at war. 1.00
00:22:03.000 What a bunch of crazy assholes people are. 1.00
00:22:06.000 Isn't it? 1.00
00:22:07.000 It's nuts when you really stop and think about what they were doing.
00:22:10.000 But that's how the new and the old world came together.
00:22:11.000 That's what fascinates me.
00:22:13.000 I mean, it's not so much that I think Columbus is the greatest person ever.
00:22:16.000 It's the...
00:22:18.000 The exchange, right?
00:22:19.000 This is the first big moment.
00:22:21.000 Yeah, the Vikings came over.
00:22:22.000 They did.
00:22:23.000 And maybe even St. Patrick...
00:22:24.000 Who was it?
00:22:25.000 Some Irish saint came over in a leather boat, they said.
00:22:28.000 A leather boat?
00:22:28.000 Yeah, a leather boat from Ireland.
00:22:30.000 Caught in the wind and fucking hit, like, Canada. 0.99
00:22:32.000 Oh, my God. 0.99
00:22:33.000 A leather boat.
00:22:34.000 The Vikings, you know, could do it. 0.92
00:22:35.000 Because the Vikings were mad sailors. 0.96
00:22:37.000 You know they could have made it to North America.
00:22:39.000 And they made some pretty fairly sophisticated boats for the time.
00:22:42.000 And they could go rows and sails, right?
00:22:44.000 You're never be calmed. 1.00
00:22:45.000 You can fucking... 1.00
00:22:47.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:22:47.000 Crack out the rows. 0.99
00:22:48.000 Jesus Christ.
00:22:49.000 Little crafty boats.
00:22:50.000 The only danger is, of course, getting wiped out, you know.
00:22:53.000 In a storm.
00:22:54.000 They would take them over land when they'd invade places. 0.98
00:22:56.000 They, like, dragged them into Russia and then went up the fucking Volga to Moscow and stuff. 0.98
00:23:00.000 They... 0.99
00:23:01.000 Yeah.
00:23:03.000 The Vikings captured Paris.
00:23:05.000 They went up the Seine.
00:23:07.000 Oh, can you imagine what that time must have been like?
00:23:11.000 People were just boats full of gangsters.
00:23:15.000 Would show a big giant...
00:23:17.000 With belief systems and, you know...
00:23:19.000 And mushrooms.
00:23:20.000 I was going to say, the Vikings are definitely the most psychedelic of all.
00:23:24.000 Arab tribes and...
00:23:26.000 Do they know what mushroom they took?
00:23:29.000 Yeah, I'm sure they do.
00:23:30.000 We could look it up, probably.
00:23:32.000 I want to say that it was the Amanita Muscaria, that one that always gets connected to religion and Santa Claus and all that, that red and white one.
00:23:39.000 Is it a little cap with a white top?
00:23:42.000 No, it's a big red thing with white spots all over it.
00:23:47.000 It's a Mario Brothers.
00:23:47.000 It looks like Santa Claus.
00:23:49.000 Yeah, it's Mario Brothers.
00:23:50.000 It looks like Santa Claus.
00:23:51.000 Do you know the correlation between the Amanita muscaria and Santa Claus?
00:23:54.000 No, please.
00:23:54.000 Oh, you've got to see this.
00:23:55.000 Brian, just pull up Amanita muscaria and Santa Claus just for an image of what the mushroom looks like if people haven't seen it before.
00:24:05.000 It's bright red and white.
00:24:07.000 And in the eyes of many people who have examined it, it represents Santa Claus.
00:24:14.000 And the reason why Santa Claus has this red and white outfit is because that's the colors of the Amanita muscaria mushroom.
00:24:21.000 The reason why the Christmas tree, which is a coniferous tree, has these brightly covered packages underneath it is because these mushrooms have a mycorrhizal relationship with these trees, and they look like bright packages.
00:24:34.000 And they show up in their bright, shiny packages of red and white underneath the trees. 0.97
00:24:38.000 The way they dried them out was they would either pick them off and put them in the tree so they would dry in the sun, which is just like the way they decorated the tree, or they would hang them In front of the fireplace to dry them out, which is exactly what the stockings over the fireplace and why the fucking stockings are red and white. 0.97
00:24:57.000 That's the mushroom. 0.91
00:24:58.000 Did it pull up?
00:25:01.000 You just had an image of it, right, Brian?
00:25:04.000 Yeah.
00:25:05.000 That's it, right?
00:25:05.000 There's a bunch of images, the older images of Santa Claus with that mushroom.
00:25:10.000 You see that?
00:25:11.000 The older you go, when you go back to really ancient depictions of these mushrooms, The older you go, the more often you see these mushrooms around elves in Christmas tree, Christmas cards and things along those lines.
00:25:25.000 These mushrooms around Santa Claus.
00:25:27.000 So it was a direct connection. 1.00
00:25:30.000 They were drawing fucking mushrooms and elves for Christmas cards. 0.98
00:25:35.000 So at one point in time, people were still connected to this idea, but they've lost it. 0.98
00:25:40.000 The Amanita, what do you call it?
00:25:41.000 Amanita muscaria mushroom. 0.98
00:25:43.000 Wow!
00:25:44.000 That had to be the one the Vikings are taking, right?
00:25:46.000 They have the tree worship and all that too.
00:25:49.000 There was a scholar named John Marco Allegro who was one of the guys who was a decipher of the Dead Sea Scrolls and he wrote two books about it.
00:25:57.000 One of them is called The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth and the other one is called The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross and it's all about how the entire Christian religion was based on psychedelic mushroom eating and sex rituals and fertility rituals.
00:26:13.000 Quite right.
00:26:14.000 Now you had me at sex rituals.
00:26:16.000 It was all that mushroom.
00:26:17.000 That mushroom was on the cover of the book, the Amanita muscaria mushroom.
00:26:21.000 Really?
00:26:22.000 Yeah, that this mushroom, like, they would find out about how to use it, and they would find out about how to prepare it, and then it would give them this unbelievable psychedelic experience, so they hid all of the waves of preparing it and finding it,
00:26:37.000 and apparently it's a very tricky mushroom.
00:26:41.000 It's variable genetically, it's variable seasonally, it doesn't always give you the experience.
00:26:46.000 So you have to figure out how to find it from what area. 0.99
00:26:51.000 Some of them will knock your dick into the dirt. 0.99
00:26:53.000 And some of them do nothing but make you sweat. 1.00
00:26:56.000 It's a weird mushroom.
00:26:57.000 So the idea is that they hid all the information inside these old stories.
00:27:04.000 Can I ask a question?
00:27:06.000 So when you say all Christianity, do you mean like European Christianity where that mushroom exists or did it exist in the Middle East as well?
00:27:13.000 Well, this is the Dead Sea Scrolls were all found in Qumran.
00:27:16.000 So that's where they were writing this stuff supposedly.
00:27:20.000 So at least in that area in Israel, they were taking mushrooms.
00:27:27.000 According to Allegro.
00:27:29.000 But see, Allegro was the only scholar on the list of scholars that were hired to decipher the Dead Sea Scrolls.
00:27:36.000 He was the only one that was an agnostic. 0.77
00:27:39.000 He was an ordained minister, but then in studying theology, he just said, well, this is kind of silly.
00:27:44.000 Obviously, there's some just crazy stories, and let's just get to the root of all this and find out where this all comes from.
00:27:50.000 By chance, was he also the only professor that also took mushrooms?
00:27:54.000 I don't think he did.
00:27:55.000 The crazy thing is, I don't think he did.
00:27:57.000 He was really a straight-laced scholar.
00:27:59.000 How did they get to Santa Claus, Joe?
00:28:02.000 Well, Santa Claus being...
00:28:04.000 How does it get all the way down to the Santa Claus?
00:28:07.000 Well, I mean, I understand the colors and the tree and everything. 0.97
00:28:10.000 They always give us this bullshit story about St. Nicholas, who's from Turkey.
00:28:14.000 Yeah, like Wikipedia and everything says there's a couple different versions. 0.79
00:28:18.000 One is from Germany, one's from...
00:28:22.000 Yeah, the Siberian one, the reindeer. 0.87
00:28:25.000 The thing about the reindeer.
00:28:26.000 One of the things about the reindeer is that reindeer love to eat aminated muscarian mushrooms.
00:28:30.000 Really?
00:28:30.000 So much so that when they have shamanic rituals in the sweat lodges and they will have these rituals and they'll take these mushrooms and they'll step out to urinate, the reindeer will knock them over to get at their urine snow.
00:28:45.000 Wow.
00:28:45.000 Yeah, they love it.
00:28:47.000 And why the fuck are these reindeer flying? 0.99
00:28:50.000 But deers probably also like to eat poop. 0.99
00:28:52.000 Why are they flying? 0.99
00:28:54.000 The shaman, who is red and white, like the Amanita muscaria mushroom, is sitting in a carriage and he's fucking flying with a bunch of deer who are on mushrooms. 0.97
00:29:05.000 How clear do they have to make the myth that these reindeers are high? 0.96
00:29:09.000 I have to read this now.
00:29:11.000 How clear?
00:29:11.000 What was his name?
00:29:13.000 John Marco Allegro.
00:29:15.000 It's really hard to understand.
00:29:17.000 I don't have any background in languages, so in listening to or reading how he broke it all down, apparently it's very controversial.
00:29:25.000 Yes, I can imagine.
00:29:26.000 But the fact remains, this guy was a legit, brilliant scholar and an agnostic. 0.98
00:29:32.000 And if you have one guy out of a list of religious kooks that are reading ancient shit, hoping to find Jesus' special... 0.99
00:29:42.000 Friends list, or whatever the fuck they're trying to find. 0.99
00:29:44.000 His autograph, yeah. 0.80
00:29:45.000 Adam's watch.
00:29:46.000 They're not going to be willing to consider anybody's alternative ideas.
00:29:49.000 I don't know if he's right, but it's fascinating.
00:29:51.000 It is fascinating.
00:29:52.000 I mean, because I was in...
00:29:53.000 I've heard about the St. Nicholas and all that, and I was at that little chapel where he supposedly was and everything, and I was like, you don't get a big Santa Claus wintertime, you know, ho-ho-ho, drink a Coca-Cola feel.
00:30:07.000 Yeah.
00:30:08.000 So to me, the leap is really...
00:30:11.000 Other than he was the local guy who gave gifts and whatnot. 0.98
00:30:15.000 Yeah, who the fuck knows where all those stories came from? 0.98
00:30:18.000 It's so fascinating. 0.98
00:30:20.000 I thought flying reindeer were an invention of, what's his name, Clement Moore or whatever, who wrote...
00:30:25.000 Was it?
00:30:26.000 Night Before Christmas.
00:30:27.000 Could have been.
00:30:29.000 But maybe he was tapped into something that he knew about flying reindeer.
00:30:34.000 Maybe he'd heard a story from Europe.
00:30:36.000 There's so many connections between this mushroom and Santa Claus that it's almost silly. 0.99
00:30:43.000 Yeah, but there's things like if you think about the Pink Floyd Wizard of Oz shit. 1.00
00:30:48.000 It's the same shit. 0.99
00:30:49.000 If you obsess about something, you're going to find something in anything. 0.99
00:30:52.000 That's so true, but this one is really...
00:30:54.000 The whole story, like Santa Claus climbing down the chimney, that's how the shaman used to get into the houses when they made the shamanic rituals illegal. 0.63
00:31:01.000 They used to sneak in because everybody was on the ground watching the door, so they would throw their fucking sack of mushrooms over the chimney, and they would climb down into these people's houses. 0.97
00:31:10.000 Wow. 0.98
00:31:11.000 Yeah, I mean, there's so many connections between the whole Santa Claus myth and this mushroom, the ritual of taking this mushroom, especially in Siberia, which is the fucking North Pole! 0.96
00:31:23.000 Essentially, that's what people look at it as. 0.79
00:31:27.000 Yeah, the end of the earth, no question. 1.00
00:31:29.000 If you were living in Siberia and you found a mushroom that would make you trip your fucking balls off. 0.99
00:31:33.000 Oh, dude, what else is there to do except try to stay warm? 0.99
00:31:35.000 Yeah, life would be so much more awesome if you found that mushroom.
00:31:38.000 The trees and the birds.
00:31:39.000 Oh, yeah, that's what kept them alive. 0.58
00:31:42.000 They would trip their balls off every few months. 0.91
00:31:44.000 Yeah, it seems like a desperate... 0.95
00:31:46.000 It always seemed like the most desperate place.
00:31:48.000 I mean, when you lend your name to the bad patch of land in everybody's mind, even when you go to a restaurant, I know my wife, if they put us somewhere bad, I'm like, hey, why are we in Siberia?
00:31:58.000 It's always Siberia. 0.89
00:31:59.000 It's always Siberia. 0.99
00:32:01.000 Yeah, anytime it was a Russian movie, like a James Bond movie, and a Russian spy got sent to Siberia, yeah, fucked out there. 1.00
00:32:08.000 I mean, you're going to die. 1.00
00:32:09.000 Yeah. 0.52
00:32:10.000 Yeah, if you could...
00:32:12.000 Have a nice mushroom trip every couple months.
00:32:15.000 Keep you going, though.
00:32:16.000 And dig those eight tiny reindeer. 1.00
00:32:18.000 Yeah.
00:32:19.000 They...
00:32:19.000 Save the dolphins.
00:32:23.000 Exactly. 1.00
00:32:25.000 Fucking... 0.99
00:32:26.000 How cold does it get up there? 1.00
00:32:27.000 Really cold.
00:32:28.000 100 degrees below zero, right?
00:32:29.000 Yeah, it's horrible.
00:32:30.000 And they're swimming in oil, so they've saved themselves, you know.
00:32:35.000 You saved yourself, but you're stuck up there.
00:32:37.000 Yeah.
00:32:38.000 But you know what?
00:32:38.000 There's a great documentary.
00:32:40.000 I say that, but there's a great documentary.
00:32:42.000 I have to take it back.
00:32:44.000 Werner Herzog's Happy People, Life on the Taigao, I think it's called.
00:32:49.000 And it's about these people that live up there in Siberia, and they're all trappers. 0.91
00:32:53.000 They're apparently all healthy.
00:32:57.000 Everyone's happy.
00:32:58.000 There's no one out.
00:32:59.000 They're all day running around.
00:33:00.000 Yeah.
00:33:01.000 Exercising?
00:33:02.000 No one has any, like, depression.
00:33:04.000 No psychological disorders.
00:33:06.000 It's a real happy culture.
00:33:09.000 And they showed them all get together, and they followed them on the camera, and they followed them to their trapping routes, where they would stay by themselves for months. 0.79
00:33:16.000 And they were all fucking really happy. 0.64
00:33:19.000 It was weird. 0.94
00:33:20.000 They'd get together, they would be eating and laughing and all happy.
00:33:24.000 Yeah.
00:33:24.000 And at the end of the day, if we really are temporary beings, they are actually doing it right.
00:33:31.000 We're doing it wrong. 0.89
00:33:32.000 Well, they don't ever come home and go, I can't believe I got fucking passed over for a promotion. 0.95
00:33:38.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:33:39.000 I need a Xanax and a wine.
00:33:42.000 I want to win wine. 1.00
00:33:43.000 I want to watch fucking Real Housewives. 1.00
00:33:45.000 Yeah, fucking Dexter. 1.00
00:33:46.000 No, no. 1.00
00:33:47.000 They don't do that.
00:33:48.000 And they live forever, and they probably drink moderately, and probably are exercising all day, every day.
00:33:53.000 Yeah, and they're eating caribou. 0.98
00:33:55.000 They're eating the healthiest shit you can eat, like fresh game and vegetables that they grow. 0.99
00:34:01.000 It's fascinating, man. 1.00
00:34:03.000 They're so fucking happy. 0.98
00:34:04.000 I haven't seen that one, but I did see one recently that my wife rented, and I can't think of the bloody name of it. 0.98
00:34:10.000 Oh, you might have to look it up, Brian.
00:34:12.000 It's about the caves in France, where all the prehistoric paintings are.
00:34:18.000 The ones they found like 20 years ago, you know, that have the horses.
00:34:21.000 They're the ones that predate.
00:34:22.000 Yeah, and they're in motion, you know.
00:34:24.000 And in one room is like one guy's left hand like a zillion times.
00:34:28.000 He put it everywhere.
00:34:28.000 And it pops up a few other places in the cave.
00:34:31.000 And they're extensive, and they found them by accident and all this.
00:34:34.000 But Herzog goes in...
00:34:35.000 Because they're closing them off except for study.
00:34:37.000 So his crew goes in and he shoots it.
00:34:40.000 And it is...
00:34:42.000 I'll give him...
00:34:44.000 What's the name of the...
00:34:45.000 Is it what they call the Cave of Dreams?
00:34:47.000 That's it!
00:34:48.000 The Cave of Dreams.
00:34:49.000 But I'm always trying to think...
00:34:53.000 Suppose about...
00:34:55.000 You're saying what was it like to live when gangsters came up in boats?
00:34:58.000 Imagine...
00:34:58.000 I don't know...
00:35:00.000 50,000, 100,000, 200,000 years ago...
00:35:04.000 And you were living in a cave, and you were much like those choppers in Siberia, because now you're down to, you know, you're in a boat, you probably have fire, maybe you have...
00:35:12.000 But to see the sophistication of the drawings, the animation and the depiction of the animals and the imagination, and to see this on a wall from 30,000 years ago, is the connection that, you know...
00:35:27.000 It is just yesterday, and it's never different.
00:35:30.000 All this technical stuff and all the wonder of your phone and the apps that you can download is nothing.
00:35:38.000 I don't mean that you should just not use it.
00:35:40.000 I mean, the connection of people, like you say, to what's happening is a little more profound.
00:35:47.000 And that's what always gets overlooked.
00:35:49.000 It's always like, oh, well, that was then.
00:35:51.000 People don't even want to know about a couple of years ago, you know?
00:35:54.000 Yeah, no kidding.
00:35:55.000 I don't think you should dwell on the past, but of course I do.
00:35:58.000 But I really found it fascinating to see the human touch.
00:36:01.000 That's what gets you.
00:36:02.000 But I don't think a guy like you or a guy like me would be happy if all of a sudden we had to live like a Siberian trapper. 1.00
00:36:09.000 Oh, no, man.
00:36:10.000 Are you kidding me? 0.99
00:36:11.000 I'm such a sissy. 0.98
00:36:13.000 Okay, no Cody, no Cologne. 0.92
00:36:16.000 Wouldn't we want to do the thing that seems to make you the most happy?
00:36:20.000 Not now.
00:36:21.000 We're not like that anymore.
00:36:23.000 We can't do it anymore.
00:36:23.000 We've been to Paris, you know what I mean?
00:36:25.000 We have cell phones.
00:36:25.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:36:26.000 God gave us clothes or whatever.
00:36:27.000 Is there no looking back?
00:36:28.000 Is that what it is?
00:36:29.000 We ate the apple, man.
00:36:30.000 It's over.
00:36:31.000 There seems to be no looking back.
00:36:33.000 It's like we want to.
00:36:34.000 We want to drive old cars. 0.97
00:36:36.000 Oh, they're fucking cool. 0.89
00:36:37.000 Imagine a day. 0.99
00:36:38.000 68 Corvette.
00:36:41.000 People stop and look at it as it goes by.
00:36:43.000 It's like a time machine.
00:36:44.000 You're looking at a time machine.
00:36:46.000 But we wouldn't be happy back then.
00:36:49.000 I always say, it wasn't better.
00:36:51.000 It was just then.
00:36:53.000 But those Taiga people are right now. 1.00
00:36:55.000 Absolutely they are.
00:36:56.000 I was reading an article about people who live on an island in Greece who purportedly live to be 100 and all.
00:37:01.000 It turns out, of course, they'd inflated their age when the study was done years ago, but they are living to be 90s and close to 100, almost all of them.
00:37:09.000 And it's, you know...
00:37:11.000 Yeah.
00:37:28.000 Yeah, it's...
00:37:29.000 The village is there and you... 1.00
00:37:30.000 That's fucking exercise. 1.00
00:37:32.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:37:32.000 People don't realize. 1.00
00:37:33.000 Like, you had to.
00:37:34.000 Like, it's not...
00:37:35.000 They're not going hiking.
00:37:36.000 That's their life.
00:37:37.000 Yeah.
00:37:37.000 And they're doing it every day.
00:37:38.000 You go to see your friend and they have tea or whatever, coffee, and they have vegetable gardens and whatnot.
00:37:43.000 And he was like...
00:37:44.000 They were describing the life and it was like the kind of thing you pay for to go away with your wife on a weekend, you know?
00:37:49.000 Yeah.
00:37:50.000 To look at the Mediterranean and drink wine at sunset and be like, I'd kick around in the garden if that was part of it.
00:37:56.000 But do you think you'd be happy living there?
00:37:58.000 No, I'd be bored senseless after a while.
00:38:01.000 You'd have your studies, right, and you'd have your computer if it worked, if it worked there on a remote island in the Mediterranean, but...
00:38:09.000 You would have to be into either starting a cult or doing some hardcore drugs.
00:38:14.000 That's the only way you would really...
00:38:15.000 Write the book, Joe.
00:38:16.000 That's where you write the book.
00:38:17.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:38:17.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:38:19.000 Who's going to read it? 1.00
00:38:20.000 You're trapped.
00:38:21.000 Well, you have to leave.
00:38:22.000 You have to get someone to deliver the book for you.
00:38:24.000 Have you been following the John McCaffrey thing?
00:38:28.000 No.
00:38:28.000 Do you know what that is?
00:38:29.000 No.
00:38:29.000 John McCaffrey is the virus king, the guy who created McCaffrey Antivirus.
00:38:35.000 Well, he apparently is quite a character.
00:38:39.000 And he started a business.
00:38:42.000 This is the beginning of it.
00:38:43.000 He started a business where he had low-flying planes.
00:38:46.000 They would do this sport where they would fly really low to the ground and maneuver around.
00:38:50.000 Well, yeah, one of the planes crashed.
00:38:53.000 Somebody died.
00:38:53.000 So he got rid of all of his assets in America and transferred them over to Belize.
00:38:59.000 So he's in Belize now.
00:39:01.000 He lives in Belize, and he has a compound in Belize.
00:39:03.000 And in that compound...
00:39:05.000 He cooks up basalts.
00:39:07.000 So, you know, there's different chemicals that are being sold as basalts, these various legal forms of some sort of crazy drug.
00:39:16.000 They're legal, by loopholes.
00:39:18.000 He's like cooking them, and like freebasing them, and getting them down to like, he's like purifying them, and doing it to Are you kidding me?
00:39:27.000 No, no, he has labs.
00:39:29.000 He has labs in his jungle. 1.00
00:39:31.000 He has photos, and he takes photos of all this shit and puts it online. 0.99
00:39:34.000 And he keeps a blog on, too. 0.99
00:39:37.000 I'm sorry, everybody.
00:39:39.000 Something from the hinterland or something like that is the blog.
00:39:42.000 And he just started the blog.
00:39:43.000 It's fascinating.
00:39:44.000 Because the dude is on the lam because his neighbor is dead.
00:39:48.000 His neighbor got shot in the head.
00:39:51.000 And his neighbor, who he believes...
00:39:55.000 McCaffrey believes this neighbor poisoned his dogs because he had a bunch of dogs that would bark all the time.
00:39:59.000 So he shot him?
00:40:00.000 I don't know if he shot him.
00:40:02.000 He says he didn't, but the Belize government says he did.
00:40:06.000 And he says that this is not about that. 0.98
00:40:09.000 They're a bunch of criminals and they're corrupt and they're going after him for no reason. 0.97
00:40:14.000 And he had nothing to do with it. 0.99
00:40:15.000 And he was fearing for his own life.
00:40:17.000 He thought they were out to get him before they shot his...
00:40:19.000 They think that they set him up.
00:40:21.000 They killed his neighbor to set him up.
00:40:22.000 That's his take on it.
00:40:24.000 It's no doubt about it that the dude is cooking bath salts.
00:40:28.000 He's got a 17-year-old girlfriend.
00:40:31.000 No, he doesn't.
00:40:31.000 Yes, he does.
00:40:32.000 He's 62 or something like that.
00:40:35.000 This is some deep outlaw. 1.00
00:40:38.000 He's crazy. 0.99
00:40:39.000 He is Breaking Bad. 0.96
00:40:41.000 Yeah, he's fully Breaking Bad.
00:40:43.000 He's a character in Breaking Bad.
00:40:44.000 Wow.
00:40:45.000 Now I have to go look it up. 0.99
00:40:47.000 It's a fucking amazing story. 0.98
00:40:50.000 I'm looking it up now. 0.99
00:40:51.000 He's still in the country.
00:40:52.000 He's hiding.
00:40:53.000 He's on the lam.
00:40:54.000 They're trying to find him and try him for murder, and he's blogging at the same time.
00:40:59.000 And a compound in the lays of the 17-year-old girlfriend cooking salt.
00:41:02.000 He escaped that compound.
00:41:05.000 He got out, and now he's on the lam.
00:41:07.000 They don't know where he is.
00:41:07.000 But while he's out, he's blogging.
00:41:10.000 I didn't even know that you could take bath salts, really.
00:41:14.000 I've used them so frequently in my bath.
00:41:16.000 You know the bath salts.
00:41:18.000 Do you know the common...
00:41:18.000 Do you know what that is?
00:41:20.000 Well, I hear about people taking them and committing dreadful acts and whatnot.
00:41:25.000 Well, it's just they've taken some form of like meth or some intense form of narcotic drug, something, and they'll change it, like change a molecule, add an oxygen molecule, do whatever to it that they have to do in order to make it a different chemical classification.
00:41:43.000 Then it becomes legal.
00:41:44.000 As long as they sell it not for human consumption.
00:41:48.000 Right.
00:41:49.000 So they sell it as basalts.
00:41:51.000 Ah. 0.99
00:41:52.000 So they sell it, and everybody knows what the fuck it really is. 0.99
00:41:55.000 But what is it? 0.99
00:41:55.000 It's some meth-like drug. 0.99
00:41:58.000 Oh, so it's speedy.
00:41:59.000 Yeah, it's psychedelic.
00:42:00.000 It's not like DMT or something?
00:42:01.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:42:03.000 It's horrible.
00:42:04.000 It's a terrible drug, supposedly.
00:42:08.000 But that was the other thing.
00:42:12.000 Oh, God, no.
00:42:19.000 Oh, God. 1.00
00:42:30.000 Cracked out 60-year-old dude hanging with a 17-year-old girl in the jungle on this fucking insane drug concoction that he's cooked up in his own lab. 0.99
00:42:40.000 And he's a brilliant guy. 1.00
00:42:43.000 It's like he's a brilliant guy gone mad.
00:42:46.000 It's really fascinating, man.
00:42:48.000 That is.
00:42:49.000 That's extraordinary.
00:42:50.000 Yeah.
00:42:51.000 Let me pull up what this drug actually is, just so we...
00:42:59.000 Substituted cathinones, which have similar effects to amphetamine and cocaine.
00:43:04.000 The white crystals resemble legal bathing products like Epsom salts and are called bath salts with the packaging often stating not for human consumption in an attempt to avoid the prohibition of drugs, but chemically have nothing to do with actual bath salts.
00:43:17.000 Yeah.
00:43:18.000 So it's just something they've created in a lab.
00:43:21.000 It's like they figured out a way around it.
00:43:23.000 It's amazing, man. 0.99
00:43:24.000 People are gross. 0.99
00:43:26.000 People are so gross. 0.99
00:43:27.000 They'll spend their time to come up with some new form of meth and then just release it in some legal loophole and laugh all the way. 1.00
00:43:37.000 Those are fucking demons. 1.00
00:43:39.000 People who sell that are demons. 1.00
00:43:41.000 Yeah, isn't that all the people have psychotic episodes and go furiously mental and kill people? 1.00
00:43:47.000 Yeah, bite people's faces off and shit. 1.00
00:43:49.000 Well, they said that that guy, they said he tested positive for marijuana. 1.00
00:43:53.000 That was one of the things that they were saying, which I found hilarious.
00:43:58.000 Because what they didn't say, which is really kind of fucking creepy, they didn't say in the news report that they can't really test for bath salts.
00:44:08.000 Most bath salts, they don't have a marker for them. 0.91
00:44:13.000 There's a bunch of different kinds, too.
00:44:16.000 Just because he didn't test for heroin or didn't test for crystal meth, whatever it is, doesn't mean he wasn't on bath salts. 0.90
00:44:25.000 They said he wasn't on bath salts, they said he was on marijuana, but that's such shitty reporting. 1.00
00:44:30.000 You have to tell the truth that it's hard to find out if people are on this shit. 0.99
00:44:34.000 I thought the rumor or the... 0.99
00:44:35.000 The accepted knowledge was that he was on Basel, and that's why he was so psychotic.
00:44:40.000 Yeah, but that's not what they got when they did the chemical tests on him after he was dead.
00:44:46.000 Well, if it doesn't show up, it's not going to be...
00:44:48.000 Brian doesn't think the cop should have killed the guy, right?
00:44:52.000 Isn't that the one that we disagreed when the guy was eating the guy's face?
00:44:55.000 You didn't think that the cop should have shot him?
00:44:57.000 Was it you or was it Duncan?
00:44:58.000 It was Duncan.
00:44:59.000 It was Duncan?
00:45:00.000 It might have been Duncan.
00:45:01.000 Didn't think that the cop should have shot the guy. 0.97
00:45:03.000 I was like, you eat someone's face, man. 0.81
00:45:06.000 That's called murdering somebody. 0.96
00:45:07.000 Yeah, that's murdering somebody. 0.99
00:45:09.000 Not only that, that is such a fucking creepy way to go about it. 0.99
00:45:12.000 Eating someone's face? 1.00
00:45:13.000 I think that cop's allowed to shoot you. 1.00
00:45:15.000 That's me. 0.98
00:45:16.000 I'm old school.
00:45:18.000 Yeah, if it's happening to me, let me put it that way.
00:45:21.000 Please go ahead and... 1.00
00:45:22.000 Shoot that guy. 1.00
00:45:23.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
00:45:25.000 He's eating faces.
00:45:26.000 Might be good.
00:45:28.000 So this John McCaffrey guy, he's actually got a blog while he's on the lam.
00:45:34.000 So this crazy government in Belize is looking for him.
00:45:39.000 According to him, he sends soldiers to his house.
00:45:42.000 I don't know, man.
00:45:44.000 Because he's got money.
00:45:45.000 Yeah, I don't know how it works.
00:45:48.000 Belize has been a haven forever for people from the States.
00:45:50.000 Has it really?
00:45:51.000 A lot of expats?
00:45:52.000 Yeah, I think Confederates, that type of thing.
00:45:54.000 It's a drum runner kind of...
00:45:56.000 I think you can end up in Belize.
00:45:57.000 So it's just like one of those wild places?
00:45:59.000 I mean, I've been once, but I didn't really go to Smuggler's Cove.
00:46:05.000 This story is so fascinating.
00:46:07.000 It is.
00:46:07.000 It's amazing.
00:46:08.000 When a really smart guy goes off the rails.
00:46:11.000 You're waiting for Bill Gates to build a giant veranda.
00:46:16.000 Have you ever seen the descriptions of Gates' home?
00:46:20.000 Oh yeah, right?
00:46:21.000 It's insane.
00:46:23.000 His home is incredible.
00:46:24.000 Right.
00:46:25.000 And everything tacked to the maximum.
00:46:27.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:46:27.000 You can just go brrr and shit flies around. 1.00
00:46:29.000 Well, he puts a clip on when he walks in. 1.00
00:46:31.000 Right.
00:46:31.000 And as he enters into rooms, they adjust to his liking.
00:46:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:46:35.000 That's fucking... 1.00
00:46:36.000 That's gangster. 1.00
00:46:38.000 Yeah, it is.
00:46:38.000 That's really gangster.
00:46:40.000 When you're Bill Gates, though, anything less would be ridiculous. 0.93
00:46:43.000 Yeah, no, he has to do it.
00:46:44.000 Yeah, he's the technology king.
00:46:46.000 I mean, you know, it's like William Randolph Hearst or whatever, building a giant...
00:46:49.000 Yeah, but how much do you bet his toilet crashes all the time?
00:46:53.000 His Twitter crashes?
00:46:54.000 Toilet.
00:46:54.000 Oh, toilet crashes?
00:46:55.000 Yeah.
00:46:56.000 Why do you think that? 1.00
00:46:57.000 Because all this shit's like windows and stuff, so it's all probably just fucked up. 1.00
00:47:00.000 His toilet crashes. 1.00
00:47:02.000 It's actually toilet.
00:47:03.000 The shower stopped, honey.
00:47:05.000 It's got a virus.
00:47:07.000 He's someone, though, like if your computer fucks up, and having him in the house I think would be super handy.
00:47:12.000 It would definitely help.
00:47:12.000 Because he would be like, oh, let me just...
00:47:14.000 Call somebody. 0.98
00:47:15.000 Yeah, instead of, you know, you going, fuck, how come my email's not working for like a day? 0.99
00:47:20.000 He's just like, buy a Mac. 0.99
00:47:21.000 The number of viruses that exist, computer viruses that exist, are fucking terrifying. 0.98
00:47:27.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:47:28.000 If you really stop and think about how many assholes out there figured out a way to crack into people's computers, like how many hundreds of thousands of people did it? 0.98
00:47:37.000 There's schools of it. 0.98
00:47:38.000 Yeah.
00:47:39.000 You get scam emails, you know.
00:47:41.000 Yeah.
00:47:41.000 Hey, man.
00:47:42.000 From my friends.
00:47:43.000 Yeah.
00:47:43.000 That's happened recently.
00:47:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:47:45.000 Yeah, I've gotten them from me.
00:47:47.000 I've gotten emails from me.
00:47:48.000 Right.
00:47:48.000 What is this?
00:47:49.000 That's weird.
00:47:50.000 It's so crazy.
00:47:51.000 What were you doing, man?
00:47:53.000 Why'd you send yourself that?
00:47:54.000 I don't know.
00:47:54.000 I was just sitting there.
00:47:55.000 Maybe I was crazy.
00:47:56.000 Maybe I went crazy.
00:47:57.000 I didn't know what I was doing.
00:47:57.000 I was just sitting there.
00:47:59.000 I saw emails from my website.
00:48:02.000 I was like, how is that even possible?
00:48:04.000 That's crazy.
00:48:04.000 I don't know what it actually says when you look into it.
00:48:07.000 I don't click on them.
00:48:08.000 But the idea that someone can do that...
00:48:10.000 Let me ask you something about this John McCaffrey thing.
00:48:12.000 Would you want to end up riding wild in some tropical place at the end of your... 1.00
00:48:18.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:48:19.000 Cooking up drugs. 1.00
00:48:20.000 That doesn't seem like fun.
00:48:21.000 No, it seems like a novel.
00:48:23.000 Yeah, that seems like you are just trying to burn out.
00:48:26.000 That you're trying to just fizzle out.
00:48:28.000 Blaze of...
00:48:28.000 Yeah, you're just trying to...
00:48:29.000 You realize the end is near, and so you're just going to go out guns blazing, rubbing your dick raw. 1.00
00:48:34.000 Right. 1.00
00:48:35.000 Smoking bath salts, banging 17-year-olds. 0.96
00:48:38.000 I mean, it's pretty wild, though.
00:48:40.000 It's the stuff of legend.
00:48:41.000 It's like one of those things where if I didn't know about it, I'd be angry if you knew about it.
00:48:46.000 You didn't tell me...
00:48:48.000 I want to know what he's doing.
00:48:50.000 Right. 1.00
00:48:50.000 You know, he's a crazy guy. 1.00
00:48:51.000 And he's a fucking really rich guy, too. 1.00
00:48:54.000 He sold his company to Microsoft for over a billion dollars. 0.99
00:48:57.000 Oh, my God.
00:48:58.000 So he's just funded.
00:48:59.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:48:59.000 So this crazy asshole had, like, this compound, and he was having low-flying planes. 1.00
00:49:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:49:05.000 I mean, just stop and think about how fucking bananas you have to be. 0.99
00:49:08.000 Right, right. 0.99
00:49:08.000 And then, of course, someone dies. 0.99
00:49:09.000 Someone dies, yeah. 0.99
00:49:10.000 And then they're suing him, so he just fucking bolts. 1.00
00:49:14.000 He's nuts, man. 1.00
00:49:15.000 He's nuts. 1.00
00:49:16.000 I don't know if he killed his neighbor, but he's nuts. 1.00
00:49:21.000 It's probably pretty obvious. 0.99
00:49:23.000 The Colonel Kurtz thing.
00:49:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:49:25.000 Well, I think whenever a guy starts his own thing in a small country and picks a 17-year-old as his companion...
00:49:32.000 That's freaky.
00:49:33.000 Yeah.
00:49:33.000 That's freaky.
00:49:34.000 You're really...
00:49:35.000 You're going for a low bar, son.
00:49:36.000 Yeah, you're...
00:49:37.000 No, no.
00:49:38.000 That's out of bounds.
00:49:40.000 Yeah, you're really old for a 17-year-old, man.
00:49:43.000 You're old for a 17-year-old if you're 25, man. 0.53
00:49:46.000 Yeah, that's kind of crazy.
00:49:48.000 Well, it's just one of those stories.
00:49:50.000 I'm fascinated by people off the rails.
00:49:53.000 When we realize that these patterns that we follow, that we don't have to follow them. 0.98
00:49:58.000 And oftentimes people just say, fuck this, and just completely exit the normal train of behavior. 0.99
00:50:06.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:50:06.000 Don't you think that's why we're fascinated by all the dictators? 1.00
00:50:10.000 Sure, yeah.
00:50:11.000 Because they don't.
00:50:12.000 There's no rules.
00:50:13.000 They kill people personally in front of other people, and then go, this is how it goes, and then that's how they start their gig, and then you take over, and you punish, and you whatever.
00:50:23.000 Yeah, we're always fascinated by the ones throughout history. 0.98
00:50:26.000 And the most recent ones, like Hussein and his sons used to scare the shit out of me. 1.00
00:50:31.000 When you would hear the stories of what they did, and you know that all those stories are not made up.
00:50:36.000 No.
00:50:37.000 Feeding people to dogs.
00:50:38.000 Oh, dude.
00:50:39.000 It's old-time stuff, yeah.
00:50:41.000 They would take people, just random people.
00:50:57.000 Yuck. 1.00
00:51:00.000 Motherfuckers, man. 1.00
00:51:01.000 I mean, that something can happen in the human mind where it allows them to become so vicious and detached from other people's suffering to the point where they actually enjoy it. 1.00
00:51:13.000 Like, that scares the fuck out of us.
00:51:15.000 Absolutely. 0.98
00:51:16.000 And that power that informs all that, you have so much power that no one can fucking gainsay you. 1.00
00:51:25.000 I'm gonna do that kind of shit. 1.00
00:51:27.000 And if you don't like it, Yeah, it's fucking crazy that we could go that way. 1.00
00:51:33.000 The human brain needs a really good directions manual. 0.95
00:51:40.000 A really good one that you have to get a degree in before you can live.
00:51:47.000 Really, we should take all babies and quarantine them from the rest of society and raise them to their dead and then people get their kids. 1.00
00:51:56.000 And an amicus mushroom farm.
00:52:00.000 And while the kid is going through school, the parents are being reconditioned, reprogrammed.
00:52:05.000 Yeah, to learn how to fly like a reindeer.
00:52:07.000 Yeah.
00:52:08.000 And then run in the jungle later with the young.
00:52:13.000 I think there's probably a bunch of cultures, a bunch of ancient cultures that did a lot of mushrooms.
00:52:17.000 If you really look at like cattle worship and stuff like that.
00:52:21.000 I would think psychoactive substances were instrumental in almost every, not to be boring, but I just read about in the Columbus book, The Taino Indians used to powder a certain seed and put it in a pipe and blow it up each other's nose and have mystical trance experience,
00:52:38.000 psychedelic experiences.
00:52:39.000 What was the stuff?
00:52:41.000 If I could remember, I would tell you, Joe.
00:52:43.000 It's some seed that grows on the islands in the Caribbean.
00:52:47.000 I could email you later when I go back and look at the book, but the Spanish took note of it and their ceremonies and how they danced and what they wore and how they conducted these giant things with the priests and They were taking drugs in front of them, and you blew it up your nose, and once you got a big hit in each nostril, 0.79
00:53:04.000 you know...
00:53:05.000 Yeah, there's other cultures that have done that, too.
00:53:08.000 They take, like, tubes, and they stick them in each other's nostrils, and they'll blow this stuff into each other. 0.93
00:53:14.000 Really, like, poof!
00:53:15.000 And it's, like, a super painful experience.
00:53:17.000 Right.
00:53:18.000 But it goes right to your brain.
00:53:19.000 Yeah, and apparently, some of them are DMT-based.
00:53:23.000 Really?
00:53:24.000 Yeah, some of them are having...
00:53:25.000 I think it's called ikuhei...
00:53:27.000 It's one of those nasal blasting drugs.
00:53:31.000 And the problem is with the deforestation in the Amazon, that these people that know how to make that stuff and know exactly what the lore behind it all is, they're going away.
00:53:40.000 They're being pushed out.
00:53:43.000 There's so much logging going on.
00:53:46.000 And the Amazon's the source of all of that.
00:53:48.000 Everything.
00:53:49.000 And all the psychoactive drugs are there that can help us and cure us and make us...
00:53:53.000 At least make us have a good time.
00:53:56.000 I think the whole continent took psychoactive drugs, if not weed, but definitely mushrooms.
00:54:04.000 I did a tour of Chichen Itza with a professor, and it was really cool, because you could hire a local professor, and one of the things that he talked about that I'd never heard anybody, like a real scholar, talk about was how actively they took psychoactive drugs.
00:54:22.000 And he was talking about how they had a chamber, and he said they would go in here and they would take various psychoactive drugs.
00:54:29.000 And he thinks that some of them were mushrooms, some of them were...
00:54:33.000 There was a root or something that contained lysergic acid.
00:54:37.000 There was a few different ones that they had figured out could make you trip.
00:54:40.000 But they would have regular psychedelic rituals. 1.00
00:54:43.000 And to us that sounds ridiculous because it's like, listen, stop all that bullshit. 1.00
00:54:47.000 What you need to do is you need to go to fucking school and you need to go to college, get a good job. 1.00
00:54:51.000 What we don't understand is there was no school before this. 1.00
00:54:55.000 We're good to go.
00:55:18.000 Mimic the cosmos.
00:55:20.000 It's really fascinating.
00:55:21.000 Well, I think it does, and I think that's why it's such an integral and profound...
00:55:25.000 That's why it's always part of the religious culture, too. 0.97
00:55:27.000 It wasn't a recreational thing like, let's go get fucked up. 0.98
00:55:31.000 The Indian societies were completely prescribed by religion. 0.94
00:55:34.000 The drum went off in the morning, and everybody got up, and people went to religious school, and priests were the hierarchy, and the things you're talking about with those, the taking the mushrooms, I think that...
00:55:42.000 The intuition they derived at the very beginning when they first took them and how they were able to refine it and cultivate it, like you say, and find out which ones did which thing absolutely leads to the creative process.
00:55:54.000 And that's why they incorporated it into their...
00:55:57.000 It's amazing.
00:55:58.000 And Europeans just don't... 1.00
00:56:00.000 It was alcohol by then.
00:56:01.000 By the time they met in the Middle Ages.
00:56:04.000 That's why they were so savage.
00:56:06.000 That alcohol-based cultures... 0.98
00:56:07.000 Guns and liquor, baby. 0.99
00:56:09.000 Guns, liquor, and conquer. 0.99
00:56:10.000 That's a totally different attitude than the psychedelic cultures.
00:56:14.000 Although I'm sure Europeans took them too.
00:56:16.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:56:18.000 Druids certainly get it going. 0.99
00:56:20.000 Oh yeah, definitely.
00:56:22.000 There's a lot of mushrooms in Europe.
00:56:24.000 Apparently, I think anywhere where it rains a lot.
00:56:28.000 Oh, yeah.
00:56:29.000 And then if it doesn't...
00:56:30.000 I don't know.
00:56:31.000 I mean, I was in Morocco and I didn't get that they were...
00:56:35.000 I'm sure they had psychedelics, but you could eat hashish or whatever.
00:56:40.000 You know what I mean?
00:56:40.000 If you really want to have a...
00:56:42.000 Oh, yeah.
00:56:44.000 A mind-altering experience that's easily doable.
00:56:49.000 Everyone, I think, in the whole country has access to...
00:56:53.000 Mad amounts of Keefe and marijuana and hashish and different grades in different places.
00:57:02.000 They're not a booze culture, right?
00:57:04.000 Like, they're a dope culture.
00:57:05.000 And that doesn't mean you're non-violent.
00:57:07.000 I think that's always a funny joke, because it's true, you know, that stoners don't commit violence.
00:57:12.000 But I would think Rastas and gangsters disprove the theory that you can be high and commit. 0.94
00:57:18.000 Yeah, you could be stoned and still fuck people up. 0.95
00:57:20.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:57:21.000 Hawaiians like to smoke weed. 1.00
00:57:22.000 I was going to say, Hawaiians smoke weed. 1.00
00:57:25.000 They'll get hot and beat you up. 0.97
00:57:26.000 Yeah, maybe they're nicer than they would have been if it wasn't for the weed.
00:57:31.000 Certainly they're going to stop after and get something.
00:57:34.000 Yeah, they won't kill you.
00:57:35.000 They won't beat you to death.
00:57:37.000 They'll let you live.
00:57:39.000 The Hindus had something called Soma, which to this day, they don't know exactly what it was, but it was so important to them.
00:57:50.000 They had all these...
00:57:53.000 Beautifully written texts on how great Soma was.
00:57:57.000 Really?
00:57:57.000 Compared it to all these other things.
00:57:59.000 Better than Indra, better than Brahma, all these different things.
00:58:02.000 Soma was the best psychedelic drug. 0.96
00:58:05.000 And no one knows what the fuck it is. 0.98
00:58:07.000 Really? 0.99
00:58:07.000 Yes. 0.99
00:58:08.000 It was so important to them.
00:58:10.000 But it's written of?
00:58:11.000 Written of, but they don't know what was inside of it.
00:58:15.000 Whether it was a combinatory thing.
00:58:17.000 Right.
00:58:19.000 People would mix things together.
00:58:22.000 Sometimes they would mix certain psychedelics.
00:58:24.000 They would mix different things, even bad ideas.
00:58:29.000 People have mixed mushrooms and ayahuasca, and apparently that's not a good idea. 0.90
00:58:33.000 That really fucks you up.
00:58:35.000 But they don't know what the combination was. 0.97
00:58:39.000 They don't know what Soma meant.
00:58:40.000 But whatever it was, it was unbelievably profound.
00:58:44.000 It was one of the most important things that existed in the world. 0.97
00:58:49.000 And we don't know what the fuck it is. 0.95
00:58:49.000 How far back is this? 0.95
00:58:50.000 Do you know?
00:58:51.000 That's a good question.
00:58:52.000 I don't know.
00:58:52.000 If I could tell you the...
00:58:53.000 If Duncan Trussell was here, he would snap that shit off. 0.99
00:58:57.000 I was going to say, and I forgot the name of the plant that the Tynos snorted up their nose. 1.00
00:59:03.000 There's been so many...
00:59:05.000 I think?
00:59:25.000 At this day and age, we ridicule that idea.
00:59:29.000 We ridicule these incredibly potent, creative, inspiring experiences.
00:59:35.000 Mind and life-changing experiences.
00:59:37.000 And as a culture, we belittle them.
00:59:39.000 We make it down to like a joke.
00:59:42.000 You're high. 1.00
00:59:43.000 Yeah, and if you talk about it, you're a silly person. 1.00
00:59:45.000 You're not to be taken seriously. 0.99
00:59:47.000 Right.
00:59:47.000 You know, I've had conversations with people where they, you know, they said, well, what has really changed the way you look at life the most?
00:59:54.000 And I'm like, psychedelic experiences. 0.98
00:59:55.000 And they look at you like, you just said something fucking, you did, you're doing heroin. 1.00
01:00:00.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:00:00.000 Yeah, you're smoking meth and running into the wall. 1.00
01:00:04.000 Like, you're an idiot. 1.00
01:00:04.000 Like, oh God, did you just really just say that? 1.00
01:00:07.000 Like, it's not even something people, most people are ignorant to what the true experience is really all about.
01:00:14.000 And ignorant to how long they've probably been a part of human history and what they've probably shaped of human history.
01:00:23.000 That's true.
01:00:24.000 I don't know though.
01:00:26.000 I find too that there is a huge resistance toward it.
01:00:29.000 I talk about it sometimes and I've done them.
01:00:34.000 And once you've done them and seen the alternate reality that exists and kind of come in touch with that, It does change your point of view because you realize that everything is so fluid in its levels of consciousness and not just the one horrible one that we're stuck in all the time now where we're prodding each other.
01:00:54.000 There's varied levels of existence.
01:00:57.000 It's a real uncomfortable idea for a lot of people, Joe, because it fucks up their well-ordered life or their belief system or whatever it is they're going for.
01:01:05.000 People prefer faith-based stuff, which is weird to me because...
01:01:09.000 It's easier to just accept.
01:01:11.000 Well, I mean, it doesn't require a gyration, I guess, as much.
01:01:14.000 But I hadn't quite considered as much as you the idea that psychedelic drugs shape so many ideas.
01:01:20.000 But now that you mention it, of course, it's true.
01:01:24.000 You don't need an alien invasion.
01:01:26.000 You can get an alien invasion in an hour and 20 minutes, okay?
01:01:30.000 Yeah.
01:01:30.000 Seven grams, go in an isolation tank.
01:01:33.000 You'll have a fucking alien invasion. 1.00
01:01:34.000 Yeah, you will. 1.00
01:01:35.000 And it'll happen.
01:01:36.000 Yeah.
01:01:36.000 It'll happen in your brain.
01:01:37.000 It'll be real.
01:01:39.000 Yeah.
01:01:39.000 Like, whether or not it's actually physically happening, who cares?
01:01:43.000 It's happening.
01:01:43.000 Well, that's the subjectivity of it.
01:01:45.000 Oh, it's just a hallucination.
01:01:46.000 Says who and who cares, okay?
01:01:48.000 Because either way, it's happening.
01:01:50.000 Whether or not you want to say it wasn't really happening or whether you want to say that you really were experiencing something that was real that you could only see while you're under the influence of the mushroom, but it's real and around you all the time.
01:02:03.000 Whichever one that is, either way you have the experience and the experience is incredibly powerful and beneficial to you as a human.
01:02:13.000 I think it is because it opens up your mind.
01:02:15.000 I think people are terrified to lose their ego.
01:02:19.000 You know what I mean?
01:02:19.000 Of course.
01:02:20.000 Because if your ego dissolves, then you're in another state where you can't control your emotions.
01:02:25.000 And then all the things that you're repressing and suppressing come rushing back.
01:02:29.000 And for some people, they're tenuously clinging to reality at all times anyway.
01:02:34.000 And a push like that...
01:02:36.000 It threatens them.
01:02:37.000 And, like you say, it gets lumped in with heroin.
01:02:40.000 It's not actually...
01:02:41.000 We always argue that marijuana is a mild hallucinogenic and therefore...
01:02:49.000 A safer and funner alternative to being drunk, necessarily, or blah, blah, blah.
01:02:54.000 As Louis Armstrong said, it's worth a hundred assistants.
01:02:59.000 Worth a hundred assistants?
01:03:00.000 Assistants, yeah.
01:03:01.000 He said, I don't know.
01:03:03.000 Oh, no, he would have said, it's better than a hundred whiskeys, sorry.
01:03:05.000 He said, he always considered it a friend and assistant.
01:03:08.000 Oh, that's funny.
01:03:09.000 Which I thought was really funny.
01:03:10.000 But psychedelics are like, if you say, if you check psychedelics, people go...
01:03:16.000 You're a drug addict or whatever. 0.92
01:03:18.000 Well, if you smoke weed, you're a pothead. 1.00
01:03:20.000 Well, I am a pothead, though.
01:03:21.000 I am as well.
01:03:22.000 But when I found out that you were, I thought...
01:03:26.000 When I found out that you were the one who actually...
01:03:28.000 Did you introduce Doug Benson to marijuana?
01:03:30.000 That's the legend.
01:03:33.000 If you saw that Werner Herzog movie, it's written on one of the cave walls.
01:03:38.000 There's a petroglyph of Doug and I. Stylized, of course.
01:03:41.000 You can't hardly recognize this.
01:03:42.000 You can see my glasses.
01:03:43.000 It's from...
01:03:45.000 Hundreds of years ago.
01:03:46.000 Doug and I were in San Diego at the Pacific Beach Improv, if you remember that one.
01:03:50.000 No, I don't.
01:03:51.000 What year was this?
01:03:52.000 58. We had just finished doing a roast at the Friars.
01:03:58.000 No, we were playing San Diego and he claims that he had smoked before but not got high, you know what I mean?
01:04:04.000 Right.
01:04:04.000 He'd had some, because a lot of times you know you have to get high a few times before it kicks in.
01:04:11.000 And then I brought a bunch of weed. 0.99
01:04:12.000 And I remember, what I remember is, the condo was near the beach, and we were just fucking doofuses. 0.98
01:04:18.000 And, you know, we would just go to the beach every day and get high. 0.97
01:04:20.000 And then when we weren't at the beach, we would watch MTV's Beach Party.
01:04:24.000 Oh, my God.
01:04:25.000 And I remember him laying on the couch laughing hysterically at one point and kicking his legs in the air.
01:04:29.000 And I was like, let's go get fish tacos. 0.99
01:04:31.000 And he was like, dude, you know, and like, It was just that stupid of a weekend. 0.96
01:04:36.000 And then at night we'd go do sets. 0.99
01:04:37.000 We were working at the improv.
01:04:39.000 And he claims that was where he started.
01:04:41.000 And I guess the carefree lifestyle that we were living that week seduced him so hard because of its beguiling poetry that he realized as an independent soul he could finally take control of his own destiny.
01:04:53.000 I had a kid say to me once, I was on the road and like, Addison, Texas or something.
01:04:58.000 And the guy I was working with was a nice fellow.
01:05:00.000 And he would go out and he would buy peanut butter and cereal that you'd see on TV and stuff, which made me laugh because I'm from San Francisco.
01:05:06.000 He would come back with a shopping list you'd see on television, like Wonder Bread.
01:05:11.000 And he was a nice fellow.
01:05:14.000 And he would run and whatnot.
01:05:16.000 And I remember what year it was.
01:05:18.000 I was watching the Anita Hill hearings on TV. And there was a Raiders game that weekend, or a Niners game, and there was a fire in the East Bay, and you could see the fire over the campus.
01:05:25.000 What year was that?
01:05:26.000 90. 91. Somewhere in there.
01:05:28.000 Wow. 0.99
01:05:29.000 Laying on the couch, smoking weed, and he goes, you gonna smoke pot all fucking day, Proops? 0.99
01:05:33.000 And I go, let me ask you something. 0.99
01:05:35.000 Whatever his name was.
01:05:36.000 Danny.
01:05:36.000 I go, let me ask you something.
01:05:39.000 Who kills every night?
01:05:41.000 And he, you do.
01:05:42.000 All right.
01:05:44.000 You have your program.
01:05:47.000 I was bored too.
01:05:48.000 I was trapped in the condo.
01:05:49.000 It was one of those ones that wasn't near anything.
01:05:52.000 I think a Waffle House or something.
01:05:53.000 But if you wanted to be technical about a comic's time creating, it's all day.
01:05:59.000 And it's all day watching TV. And you could be scanning for something that inspires you enough to be your next closing bit.
01:06:06.000 So you're actually working.
01:06:07.000 So even when you're lounging, you're working.
01:06:10.000 I think of stuff in bed.
01:06:12.000 I lay in bed and if I wake up in the middle of the night, I go, I need to do a thing tomorrow.
01:06:16.000 I have to think of this and then I think of it.
01:06:19.000 You know, I would argue that the creative process, you can manufacture it.
01:06:24.000 Yes.
01:06:25.000 But it works better if you don't, I think.
01:06:28.000 Yeah, it's...
01:06:29.000 And everybody goes dry.
01:06:30.000 Sometimes you go dry.
01:06:31.000 Also, working hard makes you not go dry.
01:06:33.000 That's true, too.
01:06:34.000 It's a muscle.
01:06:35.000 Yeah, I think there's like a vibe that you get into when you're really writing a lot, and that vibe sort of like just...
01:06:43.000 It becomes like a part of your consciousness.
01:06:45.000 And then the more you feed it, the more you do it.
01:06:48.000 I think that's the thing with everything.
01:06:50.000 Everything that a person does, whether it's an art form or a musical instrument.
01:06:54.000 But if it isn't an art form, it's not important, Joe.
01:06:56.000 But go on.
01:06:57.000 It is true.
01:06:58.000 Yeah, the idea of the creative process is something that's always been so fascinating to me.
01:07:03.000 And I love listening to how other people do it. 0.58
01:07:05.000 You know, especially comics, like some of them are just fucking, they just sit down and put in the time, they just put in the hours, you know? 0.97
01:07:11.000 Yeah, they do. 0.78
01:07:12.000 And some of them just sit around and watch things all day and scratch their head and look at the internet and just poke around and prod, you know, and then some of them, they just, they just write in stand-up form, some people write in blog form.
01:07:26.000 Don't you love when you Think a joke springs fully formed from your breast, and you haven't thought of it. 0.56
01:07:34.000 It just comes out, and you do it, and it's perfect, and you go...
01:07:37.000 Like, people always say, you know, whatever, the Beatles.
01:07:41.000 How did you write that song?
01:07:42.000 And sometimes they'll go, honestly, I sat down, and you know what I mean?
01:07:47.000 I had it.
01:07:48.000 I didn't write it.
01:07:49.000 It came out.
01:07:51.000 And, like...
01:07:51.000 Every once in a while, there'll be a joke that you think of, and it's just the right one.
01:07:57.000 And it may even not be genius or anything.
01:08:00.000 It's just that feeling that your subconscious pushed it out and you weren't fucking with it in any way, and therefore its perfection is different than something you worked on. 0.79
01:08:12.000 Yeah, there's this weird thing of, again, it goes back to the ego, this weird thing of whoever the fuck you think of yourself as, you know, this self-defining sort of image that, you know, you put up as, like, sort of a wall of protection. 0.90
01:08:27.000 Oh, yeah, very much so.
01:08:27.000 Yeah, and when you want to take credit for the idea, the way creativity comes, it comes when you're in the state of, like, Open.
01:08:35.000 When you're open to receive it.
01:08:37.000 When you're really thinking about things.
01:08:38.000 Completely, all your resources are on the thing. 1.00
01:08:41.000 Not about the bullshit. 0.96
01:08:42.000 Not about trying to craft an image on stage or trying to formulate something that you think is going to make the back of the room laugh. 0.98
01:08:49.000 Instead of that, it's all coming from a true openness.
01:08:54.000 And then it just comes.
01:08:57.000 Sometimes it's just like moments, you know, these bursts of ideas will come to you and they are just gifts from the universe.
01:09:04.000 And they hit you like waves and you can't even write them down quick enough and you're giggling while you're writing them.
01:09:08.000 It's like a gift.
01:09:10.000 It's like a gift for thinking the right way or a gift for approaching it with the correct respect.
01:09:15.000 Like realizing that you are the lucky one to be able to tune into this. 0.99
01:09:19.000 It's not that you're this fabulous person who is so awesome because you say funny shit. 0.73
01:09:24.000 No, you're the lucky one that has found this ability to tune into these ideas and you should praise these ideas and honor these ideas. 0.95
01:09:31.000 That's true.
01:09:32.000 I think just pushing yourself to think of something I repeat myself a million times, but to think of something new when you're riffing is how I... It's hard.
01:09:41.000 Yeah, it's really hard.
01:09:43.000 On the podcast, I'll just attempt things sometimes that aren't that funny, but I'm trying to disconnect.
01:09:53.000 So that you're kind of trying to automatic write if you can.
01:09:56.000 Do you do your podcast entirely by yourself?
01:09:59.000 Yeah.
01:09:59.000 Wow, that's awesome.
01:10:00.000 I talk to the crowd and I... You do it in front of a crowd?
01:10:03.000 Always.
01:10:04.000 Wow.
01:10:05.000 Always live.
01:10:06.000 Whoa.
01:10:07.000 I want the live vibe.
01:10:08.000 And I want the pressure.
01:10:09.000 Where do you do it at?
01:10:09.000 Where do you do it at?
01:10:11.000 It makes me more perform, you know, I want to perform more.
01:10:15.000 No, I'm sorry, where?
01:10:17.000 Oh, thank you for asking.
01:10:18.000 I'm at the Bar Lubitsch tonight, for goodness sakes.
01:10:20.000 I do it at the Bar Lubitsch in LA, and I do it all over the world.
01:10:22.000 The Bar what?
01:10:22.000 I love that place.
01:10:23.000 It's over in West Hollywood.
01:10:24.000 It's on Santa Monica.
01:10:25.000 What is it called, the Bar Lubitsch?
01:10:26.000 Lubitsch, like Ernst Lubitsch.
01:10:28.000 Lubitsch.
01:10:28.000 Yeah, Lubitsch.
01:10:29.000 Bar Lubitsch.
01:10:30.000 Yeah, L-E-B-I-T-E-C-H. Dude, that sounds so hip and awesome.
01:10:34.000 It's fun.
01:10:35.000 It's like at the front of a bar, the back's like a nice little stage.
01:10:38.000 Yeah, Greg Proops will be performing there. 1.00
01:10:40.000 You're doing your fucking podcast in front of a live audience. 1.00
01:10:42.000 Always. 1.00
01:10:42.000 So explain this to me. 1.00
01:10:43.000 I need to watch this now.
01:10:44.000 I do it live and this week I'm for London and I'm going to do it in Dublin this week and London, England.
01:10:53.000 Whelan's Pub in Dublin and the 19th on...
01:10:55.000 The Soho Theatre in London on the 2nd.
01:10:57.000 And then I come home and I go to Bloomington, Indiana, The Attic, which is supposed to be a very nice club.
01:11:03.000 And I'm going to do the podcast there.
01:11:04.000 I try to do it at every place I go.
01:11:06.000 Wow.
01:11:07.000 And I do it live.
01:11:08.000 I take questions on the air.
01:11:10.000 Never in L.A. very much.
01:11:12.000 I've done it, but I don't do it that much.
01:11:13.000 But on the road always, one part of the show is people get to get up and ask me questions.
01:11:18.000 The show's called The Smartest Man in the World.
01:11:20.000 It's a joke.
01:11:20.000 I don't think I'm the smartest man in the world.
01:11:22.000 You go on the radio and people go like, so are you really the smartest man in the world?
01:11:28.000 And you're like, no. 0.97
01:11:29.000 Are you the biggest douche in the world? 0.98
01:11:31.000 Who would do it? 0.98
01:11:32.000 It's a joke, obviously.
01:11:34.000 Yeah, obviously.
01:11:34.000 I have an attitude and I have a place I'm coming from.
01:11:37.000 Yeah, that's part of your comedy.
01:11:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:11:39.000 Duh.
01:11:39.000 So, I take questions.
01:11:41.000 And then I also take email questions.
01:11:43.000 And I read them and I don't read them beforehand.
01:11:45.000 I just...
01:11:46.000 Oh, that's great.
01:11:46.000 I read them on the air.
01:11:48.000 Right.
01:11:48.000 So it's, you know, people will write me.
01:11:50.000 And now because, you know, it's been a couple years now that It'll be like Proupadopolis, you know, dear Proupal of the sun, you know, Proupindicular, you know, like they try to think of these lengthy.
01:12:00.000 So that part's fun.
01:12:02.000 And then I'll read it back to the audience and then be like, and then I'll try to answer it on the air.
01:12:06.000 So I got one once, and I can't remember what it was.
01:12:09.000 Oh, and it was a great question.
01:12:11.000 I can't remember who wrote it, Matt, or some short one syllable name.
01:12:13.000 In any case, it was Beards, period.
01:12:17.000 Never, question mark.
01:12:19.000 Beards, period.
01:12:20.000 Never.
01:12:21.000 Really, question mark.
01:12:23.000 And I went, that's not a question.
01:12:25.000 That's a series of extremely short sentences.
01:12:29.000 And then I went into maybe 25 minutes on...
01:12:34.000 This novel that I would write if you were with me and how we would go to Mendocino and get high and the whole going shopping and having a barbecue and drinking later and then that's why I wouldn't wear a beard because I would be scruffy at the end of four days and I would be trying to write my novel and you'd be refuting my novel as I read it to you First,
01:12:54.000 I wouldn't read it to you.
01:12:55.000 I'd be too precious.
01:12:55.000 And then I'll pond demand one another.
01:12:57.000 And this all came out of nowhere.
01:12:58.000 I have no intention of doing any of this.
01:13:01.000 And to me, that's the jumping off point, right? 1.00
01:13:03.000 And it was the shortest, stupidest thing. 0.99
01:13:05.000 And it was only because I'd said I didn't like beards on the show. 0.99
01:13:08.000 And I said, I don't like hats, you know, or what is it?
01:13:12.000 There's a few things I don't think men should wear.
01:13:15.000 Like what?
01:13:16.000 Hats and beards.
01:13:17.000 Why hats?
01:13:20.000 I don't look good in a hat.
01:13:21.000 For people who look good in it, I say wear a hat.
01:13:25.000 So, but what if men want to wear a hat because they just don't feel like combing their hair? 0.95
01:13:29.000 That's what I think most guys who wear baseball hats...
01:13:31.000 I'm not judgmental about it.
01:13:32.000 Right.
01:13:32.000 Just throw it on.
01:13:33.000 I have a hat.
01:13:33.000 Brian, you have a hat on right now.
01:13:35.000 And a beard.
01:13:36.000 You're cool.
01:13:37.000 That's the way he said that.
01:13:37.000 You were attacking him.
01:13:40.000 You're also at your show.
01:13:41.000 If you were going to go out with a girl... 0.95
01:13:43.000 Would you wear your baseball hat?
01:13:45.000 Yes.
01:13:46.000 You would dress exactly that way.
01:13:47.000 This is exactly how I do it.
01:13:49.000 Don't you want them to like you?
01:13:50.000 I like to hide.
01:13:51.000 They like them.
01:13:51.000 Listen, trust me.
01:13:52.000 I like to hide very easily.
01:13:54.000 I don't like to look at people.
01:13:55.000 If somebody's bothering me, I don't want to deal with them.
01:13:57.000 I like to cut them out.
01:13:58.000 I get that now.
01:13:58.000 The kid does extraordinarily well.
01:14:01.000 Well, okay.
01:14:02.000 See, my game's wrong.
01:14:03.000 It's just his game is being him.
01:14:05.000 It's like, your game is you. 0.98
01:14:08.000 But your game is funny when you shit on other people who aren't doing your game. 1.00
01:14:11.000 One of the slogans of the show is, I'm bound to shit on something you love. 0.99
01:14:14.000 And what's wrong with that? 0.99
01:14:15.000 Why does everybody have such a hard time with that? 0.97
01:14:17.000 Everyone's so goddamn sensitive. 1.00
01:14:19.000 It's so silly. 1.00
01:14:20.000 If you can't laugh at someone making fun of you, you're being a silly person. 0.99
01:14:24.000 I agree. 0.64
01:14:25.000 So that's how we do it, and it's great fun.
01:14:29.000 Sometimes the people ask questions...
01:14:32.000 I have no idea what they're going to say.
01:14:34.000 That sounds amazing.
01:14:36.000 I've got a couple running jokes that devolved out of nowhere. 0.99
01:14:42.000 Just shit that I like to talk about. 0.99
01:14:44.000 And one of them is, for some reason, the Negro Leagues, right? 0.99
01:14:47.000 I'm a fan of baseball, and I started talking about Satchel Paige and Negro Leagues.
01:14:51.000 I play in Scotland a year ago, and...
01:14:55.000 Well, they don't know what the Negro Leagues are, you know? 0.99
01:14:57.000 And a guy, at the end of the show, we're doing questions, and he goes, what about such a bitch? 1.00
01:15:04.000 And you're like, you know, you cry a little. 0.99
01:15:06.000 A little tear goes down my cynical face.
01:15:09.000 You've made a connection.
01:15:11.000 Podcasting is the coolest thing that comics have been able to do in my entire career.
01:15:16.000 No question about it.
01:15:17.000 Cooler than TV, cooler than...
01:15:18.000 I mean, I love the stage, you know? 1.00
01:15:20.000 You can't pull me off the fucking stage. 1.00
01:15:21.000 Right. 1.00
01:15:22.000 I'm a ham bone, but I mean...
01:15:25.000 Podcasting by a long mile is the most creative outlet I've had, the most challenging.
01:15:31.000 Doing it by myself with the crowd has been something I think I needed to do forever, and I didn't know that I needed to do that.
01:15:39.000 That sounds amazing.
01:15:41.000 The way you're doing it sounds really fun because it's like people have a chance to see different ideas explored every week.
01:15:48.000 And doing it live in front of an audience like that, getting to see Riff and just completely go off the cuff...
01:15:53.000 And knowing that it's absolutely completely off the cuff, that's so fun. 0.99
01:15:57.000 I mean, I read poems and newspaper articles and whine about shit. 0.99
01:16:00.000 It's one of those. 1.00
01:16:01.000 Right, right, right.
01:16:02.000 There's a boring, preachy part, and then there's the questions.
01:16:07.000 Yeah, the podcasting thing is done...
01:16:12.000 It's the only thing that's, in my opinion, is truly complimentary.
01:16:17.000 To the stand-up.
01:16:18.000 Yeah.
01:16:18.000 Because it really gets you to see the way a guy's brain works.
01:16:21.000 Like, one of the things I love about guys coming on that I haven't talked to before, like you, like, we might have said, like, ten words to each other ever.
01:16:29.000 Yeah, we've got a couple conversations.
01:16:30.000 Just like, hi, what's up, man?
01:16:30.000 What's going on?
01:16:31.000 Everything cool, you know?
01:16:33.000 Is that when you get to compare and, like, see the difference, it's very inspiring to listen to other people's creative process.
01:16:42.000 Oh, well, that's...
01:16:43.000 It is.
01:16:44.000 I think it's...
01:16:46.000 Have been on so many different comics, podcasts, and that's the other funnest part of podcasting is it's giving the audience something that they never had before when we were young and we would listen to comedy albums or even guys get interviewed occasionally on TV or the radio in exchange of ideas between comics. 0.95
01:17:04.000 You don't fucking hear it. 0.98
01:17:05.000 You never fucking heard it. 0.99
01:17:06.000 It was never a craft until now. 0.99
01:17:08.000 People say podcasting's radio.
01:17:10.000 Yeah, it is.
01:17:11.000 It's an audio format or whatever, largely, but except for...
01:17:15.000 I was looking at the camera.
01:17:16.000 It was you?
01:17:17.000 Yeah.
01:17:17.000 How's it going?
01:17:18.000 You handsome bastard. 0.99
01:17:19.000 Hello audience members. 1.00
01:17:20.000 Sophisticated motherfucker here. 1.00
01:17:21.000 Look at you. 1.00
01:17:22.000 If I was you, I'd hug you.
01:17:25.000 There we go.
01:17:28.000 Could you imagine if we had audio of Kinnison having a conversation with Hicks?
01:17:33.000 Right, that's what I mean.
01:17:34.000 We didn't get that.
01:17:36.000 This is the dressing room for the world, finally.
01:17:40.000 And that there's a lot of funny people who can express themselves in this format.
01:17:45.000 And that...
01:17:46.000 Because it's like, you know, whatever, there's enough rules that make it work.
01:17:53.000 Yeah.
01:17:53.000 Because it's mics and it's audio and it has to be a certain length, it can't be seven hours, you know, unless you're making a, you know, the fassbender.
01:18:02.000 The thing is, though, people listen to them at work a lot.
01:18:05.000 Yeah.
01:18:05.000 You can give them really long ones.
01:18:07.000 We do like three hours all the time.
01:18:08.000 Oh, I do an hour and a half.
01:18:11.000 To two.
01:18:12.000 And the two ones, I think, are a little long.
01:18:14.000 Because it's just me, like I said.
01:18:15.000 It's just me.
01:18:16.000 So, you know, come on.
01:18:18.000 After an hour, really, with one dude, you're like, okay.
01:18:22.000 But people say to me, oh, I love the long ones because I drive three hours to work.
01:18:27.000 Or I'm on the train for two hours. 0.98
01:18:29.000 Why'd you do a fucking one hour and ten minute one? 0.99
01:18:32.000 I needed a one hour and 48 minute. 0.99
01:18:36.000 And I think the other thing that's really cool is that they're free.
01:18:39.000 Like, that's a really cool thing for people.
01:18:41.000 Integral.
01:18:42.000 Like, that's the connection that we get to do with this.
01:18:48.000 TV is wonderful, and one day I'll be on it again.
01:18:51.000 But I think that the connection that we get with this is just a different thing altogether.
01:18:58.000 Yeah, yeah, I completely agree.
01:18:59.000 So immediate.
01:19:01.000 Yeah, and you get to see what the dude's really like.
01:19:04.000 I meet, well I'm sure you do too, you work live all the time, but I meet at my podcast way different than I would approach stand-up.
01:19:12.000 Stand-up show at Go, I'm backstage, I look at my notes, drink, whatever.
01:19:17.000 Go on, do it.
01:19:19.000 And then go back, or maybe say hi to a few people.
01:19:21.000 At the podcast, I go out in the audience before the show and talk to everybody.
01:19:26.000 Wow.
01:19:27.000 And then sometimes after the show, too.
01:19:29.000 So it's more of like a town hall meeting.
01:19:31.000 So when the show starts, it's not, Greg Proops is coming into the building. 0.98
01:19:35.000 I fucking have met you.
01:19:37.000 And you go to England, and English people sometimes are a little reticent. 0.98
01:19:42.000 They're not ready for you to come up and go, hi.
01:19:45.000 And I'll say, this is your punishment.
01:19:47.000 You have to meet me before I go up there.
01:19:50.000 But afterward, they're like, that was really different that he came up and talked to us.
01:19:58.000 And I don't spend a year with everybody.
01:20:00.000 I go, hi, thanks for coming.
01:20:01.000 How are you?
01:20:02.000 But I touch everybody, and it's made a huge difference to me as a performer.
01:20:09.000 That connection is something I never had with the crowd before.
01:20:12.000 I was never the touchy, high-five-anybody dude.
01:20:16.000 Really?
01:20:17.000 No, I mean, I'm lovable, obviously.
01:20:19.000 I'm almost irresistibly engaging, Joe.
01:20:21.000 I think you found that over the last two and a half hours.
01:20:24.000 And your audience, of course, I think fell in love right away.
01:20:27.000 Yeah, they fell in love right away.
01:20:30.000 That's a great idea, though.
01:20:32.000 And it's contrary to the standard thing that they would always preach us, which was, you know...
01:20:38.000 Magic.
01:20:38.000 Magic.
01:20:40.000 You don't want to see...
01:20:40.000 Don't let them see you.
01:20:41.000 Don't let them see you.
01:20:42.000 You're the Wizard of Oz.
01:20:43.000 Yeah.
01:20:43.000 Like, I started introducing my friends at the shows.
01:20:47.000 Right.
01:20:47.000 So there you are first.
01:20:49.000 Yeah.
01:20:49.000 And I would get on the microphone.
01:20:50.000 They would go, don't you think it's better if they hear your voice for the first time when you're on stage?
01:20:54.000 I'm like, stop the crazy thinking.
01:20:57.000 All that ancient...
01:20:57.000 They've come to see you.
01:20:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:20:59.000 They're not going to be disappointed.
01:21:00.000 They're glad to hear you're there.
01:21:02.000 And that you support the other people in the act.
01:21:04.000 It makes a connection.
01:21:07.000 Yeah, it does.
01:21:08.000 Instead of, you know, he plays clubs and colleges, and then you come out, I said C, C.C. Ryder, you know, fucking scarf in a green elevator, you know. 0.98
01:21:18.000 I mean, I love glamour. 0.99
01:21:20.000 I really do, and I like to dress up a lot and everything, but...
01:21:24.000 I think, like you say, that old paradigm of show business where it's, you know, that we're saving you as the special treat.
01:21:31.000 I bought the ticket to see you, man.
01:21:33.000 I know you're playing.
01:21:34.000 I saw you outside smoking a joint.
01:21:36.000 You know, like, it's not that mystifying.
01:21:38.000 Like, we're not...
01:21:40.000 I mean, in stand-up, it works because you have to have...
01:21:43.000 Ooh.
01:21:43.000 In stand-up, it works because...
01:21:46.000 That's cool.
01:21:47.000 I think he's got a remote control.
01:21:49.000 No.
01:21:50.000 No?
01:21:50.000 You just touch him?
01:21:51.000 Some of them are on remote control.
01:21:52.000 Something just did something.
01:21:54.000 Anyway, I do that and I never would have done it before.
01:21:57.000 I played the Bell House in Brooklyn and I'm there again in January on the 19th if you're listening.
01:22:03.000 There's about 350 people and it's nice.
01:22:05.000 Wow. 0.98
01:22:06.000 I've done this a hundred fucking years. 0.98
01:22:10.000 I can't draw big crowds anywhere in the world. 0.98
01:22:12.000 I play around the world, but I don't get a thousand people ever, unless I'm with someone huge.
01:22:21.000 But to get that many people to come to the podcast, and that's all it was.
01:22:24.000 And I did an hour and 45, whatever. 0.95
01:22:26.000 It was long enough to fucking charge people 20 bucks or whatever. 0.77
01:22:29.000 And I met everyone before, and then afterward I talked to almost everybody that wanted to talk. 0.99
01:22:35.000 And I stayed for hours like Babe Ruth and just fucking, you know, hey, And people give you pictures, and they talk to you, and you talk about what you're doing and shit. 0.95
01:22:43.000 And I thought, I would have never cared this much before. 0.98
01:22:47.000 What changed it?
01:22:48.000 I'm middle-aged, you know?
01:22:49.000 And I love comedy.
01:22:51.000 You know what I mean?
01:22:53.000 I want to be a comedian.
01:22:55.000 Not that I didn't ever want to, but...
01:22:57.000 But you really enjoyed it.
01:22:58.000 I don't know, Joe.
01:22:59.000 You know, I did the first one.
01:23:02.000 Matt and Ryan, who produced Doug Benson's show and Jimmy Pardo's show, Came to me and said, do you want to do a show?
01:23:09.000 And I was like, what do I do?
01:23:11.000 And they go, well, you know, and I said, well, no one will listen.
01:23:13.000 They go, people listen to you.
01:23:14.000 And then we decided not to do interviews.
01:23:18.000 I'll do it on my own.
01:23:20.000 Because I had done this Audible show previously, like in the old days, when we were overfunded on the web.
01:23:24.000 Was that Audible.com?
01:23:25.000 Yeah, it was.
01:23:25.000 They had a bunch of those, right?
01:23:26.000 Yeah, they had a bunch, and I got to do one.
01:23:28.000 And they paid me good money in the whole thing.
01:23:29.000 And nobody listened, because no one had phones then.
01:23:31.000 Right.
01:23:31.000 It was 2000 until 2005. Yeah, they were real innovators.
01:23:35.000 So nobody had a...
01:23:36.000 No one even had MP3s.
01:23:37.000 You had iPods, but you'd have to...
01:23:39.000 Steve Marmel had some sort of a deal with them.
01:23:42.000 Oh, Steve Marmel did it, too!
01:23:43.000 Five minutes of new content.
01:23:44.000 Right, me too.
01:23:45.000 I did it every...
01:23:45.000 Me, Steve...
01:23:47.000 I know they wanted you to do it, too, at the time.
01:23:49.000 I thought it was crazy, though, to put that much new stand-up content every week. 0.97
01:23:52.000 So I did that for fucking five years.
01:23:54.000 So I thought, well, I'll just do that, but in an expanded. 0.98
01:23:57.000 But let's make it fun and have drinks.
01:24:00.000 Right. 0.94
01:24:01.000 And so the audience can have a drink, and we all fucking...
01:24:03.000 How do you handle photographs before the show? 0.84
01:24:06.000 At the podcast?
01:24:07.000 Yeah.
01:24:07.000 Nobody really wants to do them before.
01:24:09.000 They kind of want to do them after.
01:24:10.000 Really?
01:24:11.000 Yeah.
01:24:11.000 Usually, I think, it feels like...
01:24:13.000 I don't like it at a stand-up show as much.
01:24:15.000 I mean, after I'll do it.
01:24:16.000 Afterwards.
01:24:17.000 After.
01:24:18.000 Yeah, I always... 0.99
01:24:18.000 Let me unwind for a fucking minute, will you? 0.99
01:24:21.000 I always say hi to... 0.98
01:24:23.000 I have like a big line of people after shows.
01:24:26.000 Of course they love you, man.
01:24:27.000 You have to have a taste.
01:24:28.000 I don't hear anybody else that does that.
01:24:30.000 I love hearing that you do that.
01:24:31.000 Well, I do it at the podcast for sure.
01:24:32.000 At a stand-up show, you may not be so lucky, but...
01:24:34.000 I do it at almost every stand-up show, unless there's something going on.
01:24:37.000 Yeah, but you're like a gentleman philosopher.
01:24:40.000 Your job now is so important for what you've been doing, and it's the culmination of all.
01:24:48.000 The TV and all that, this is the reward.
01:24:52.000 You know, like you're saying you're rewarded by...
01:24:54.000 I guess, yeah.
01:24:57.000 You want to talk to everybody at your show, man.
01:24:59.000 They want to talk to you.
01:25:00.000 That's how important you are to them.
01:25:01.000 Yeah, I know.
01:25:02.000 I don't think of this as a reward.
01:25:04.000 I think of this as just...
01:25:05.000 I just found a real cool spot to...
01:25:08.000 Expand.
01:25:09.000 Alright, then it's the culmination of all your thoughts.
01:25:14.000 Well, just fortunate that something came along that would lend itself to someone who has so many different weird ideas in their head that you can't ever do in the form of a radio show.
01:25:27.000 They haven't caught up to us yet.
01:25:28.000 We're still running wild.
01:25:29.000 We're still running wild, man.
01:25:31.000 This is still gangster pirate stuff.
01:25:33.000 And everybody thinks it's all...
01:25:34.000 You know, the 30-somethings who...
01:25:36.000 Who cover us.
01:25:38.000 Yeah.
01:25:38.000 Are already hip to the jive.
01:25:40.000 But they don't realize that the whole world doesn't know about podcasting at all.
01:25:44.000 The whole world doesn't.
01:25:44.000 It's huge coming up.
01:25:46.000 They're blowing up.
01:25:47.000 And you know what else is happening?
01:25:48.000 Podcasts are feeding other podcasts.
01:25:50.000 They're finding about...
01:25:51.000 Like, we have had so many guys come from this podcast and then start their own.
01:25:56.000 And then we help push their podcast.
01:25:58.000 Yeah, that's what I mean.
01:25:59.000 It's an amazing branch.
01:26:01.000 You have an insane reach.
01:26:02.000 People...
01:26:02.000 Your circle is a...
01:26:04.000 You know...
01:26:06.000 Well, they always say every scene needs a clubhouse, and this is the clubhouse, right?
01:26:11.000 This is the ice house.
01:26:12.000 For your scene.
01:26:12.000 Yeah, the ice house is such an awesome place, too, because it's been around since like 1961 or something like that.
01:26:19.000 Oh, I played here in 54. They have this feeling.
01:26:24.000 If you go into the Ice House, like you step into that showroom, that's a feeling.
01:26:27.000 That place has been performed in for decades.
01:26:31.000 You feel it.
01:26:32.000 It sounds crazy.
01:26:33.000 I know it sounds crazy, but there's a happiness in that room, man.
01:26:37.000 And by the way, we have a show there tonight.
01:26:39.000 Joe Diaz is going to be there.
01:26:40.000 Sam Tripoli, Adam Hunter, the guy who got me in trouble for saying his joke on an FX UFC fight.
01:26:47.000 Greg Fitzsimmons, did I mention him already?
01:26:49.000 Who else?
01:26:51.000 So you're having trouble booking?
01:26:52.000 Some other people. 0.99
01:26:53.000 Got some solid fucking performers. 0.99
01:26:55.000 Oh, Tom Segura is going to be here too, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99
01:26:57.000 You don't want to miss that.
01:26:57.000 So it's tonight at 10 o'clock.
01:27:00.000 So am I here for three hours then?
01:27:02.000 No, buddy.
01:27:02.000 We're just chilling.
01:27:03.000 Oh, okay.
01:27:05.000 We've got to wrap up soon because Brian has to head down to San Diego where he is going tonight.
01:27:10.000 I've got to go work tonight too.
01:27:11.000 Brian is with Doug Benson, your buddy, tonight at the...
01:27:15.000 American Comedy Co.
01:27:17.000 It's at 8 o'clock.
01:27:18.000 Tickets still available at AmericanComedyCo.com.
01:27:21.000 Surely not.
01:27:21.000 And if you've never been there, it's an amazing little club.
01:27:24.000 I have not been there.
01:27:25.000 What's it like?
01:27:25.000 San Diego is a beautiful place.
01:27:27.000 I fucking love San Diego. 0.98
01:27:29.000 Great. 0.93
01:27:29.000 What's it like? 0.93
01:27:29.000 I love it. 0.93
01:27:30.000 I love it.
01:27:30.000 The American Comedy Company is a real low ceiling, tight seating.
01:27:34.000 We'll go downstairs.
01:27:36.000 I love it.
01:27:37.000 Very solid.
01:27:37.000 I really wish them all the best.
01:27:39.000 And apparently there's another place called Madhouse Comedy.
01:27:41.000 Yeah, down the street.
01:27:42.000 Is that an old town?
01:27:45.000 Yeah...
01:27:46.000 I don't know.
01:27:47.000 The area where people walk around?
01:27:49.000 American comedy goes at Gaslamp in...
01:27:51.000 I don't know where the other place is.
01:27:53.000 Okay. 1.00
01:27:53.000 It's the shit. 1.00
01:27:54.000 San Diego's awesome. 1.00
01:27:56.000 It's really a badass city.
01:27:57.000 I haven't been there in ages.
01:27:58.000 It's just too close.
01:27:59.000 It's funny.
01:28:00.000 20 years ago, or 50 years ago when I first started, that was a road gig we always did.
01:28:06.000 There was a million gigs in San Diego. 0.99
01:28:07.000 We always played La Jolla and fucking... 0.98
01:28:10.000 You started out in San Francisco, right? 0.99
01:28:12.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:28:13.000 And our road gigs are all Bay Area and Oregon, Reno, that kind of...
01:28:16.000 I started my show business career in San Francisco as well.
01:28:19.000 Where?
01:28:20.000 On Fisherman's Wharf.
01:28:21.000 I was eight years old.
01:28:22.000 I had a magic show.
01:28:24.000 Really?
01:28:24.000 Yeah, that's where I started out.
01:28:25.000 Sweet.
01:28:26.000 I did.
01:28:27.000 I had a magic show. 0.91
01:28:29.000 Somebody gave me a magic show, like a thing, a little top hat and shit, so I'd go out and get donations. 0.99
01:28:37.000 It's ridiculous. 0.99
01:28:37.000 Why? 0.99
01:28:38.000 Were you living in San Francisco?
01:28:39.000 Yeah, I lived in San Francisco when I was a kid from age 7 to 11. Oh, that's cool.
01:28:43.000 Fascinating times.
01:28:44.000 It was right when the Vietnam War was ending.
01:28:47.000 Really interesting.
01:28:48.000 Living in San Francisco that young of my life during that era in the 70s really shaped my way.
01:28:55.000 I was going to say, it didn't influence you at all.
01:28:58.000 It did a lot.
01:28:59.000 There was a lot of...
01:29:00.000 Especially with my attitude towards gay people.
01:29:03.000 I've never understood...
01:29:04.000 I grew up with gay people.
01:29:05.000 So, like, to me, it was always normal. 0.98
01:29:07.000 And, by the way, it was always something that you can make fun of as long as you're not being a dick about it. 0.93
01:29:11.000 You can make fun of everything. 0.59
01:29:13.000 And this...
01:29:14.000 The idea of homophobia, I didn't even know it existed until I was about 13 or 12. 12. I was in Florida.
01:29:21.000 Right.
01:29:21.000 Hanging around with my cute...
01:29:22.000 Comes the dawn.
01:29:23.000 My parents moved to Florida.
01:29:24.000 We moved from San Francisco to Florida.
01:29:26.000 And... 0.99
01:29:27.000 This Cuban friend of mine, his dad fucking threw the newspaper on the table. 1.00
01:29:31.000 I can't fucking believe this shit. 1.00
01:29:33.000 He was so mad. 1.00
01:29:34.000 And he goes, they're going to let these faggots marry each other. 1.00
01:29:38.000 And I remember I was like 12 years old. 1.00
01:29:40.000 I was like, what the fuck do you care? 1.00
01:29:42.000 What are you, nuts? 1.00
01:29:44.000 Why do you care? 1.00
01:29:47.000 Gay guys want to marry each other? 1.00
01:29:48.000 It was weird. 0.99
01:29:49.000 I was like, this poor guy, he's broken or something.
01:29:52.000 I was like, this is my friend's dad. 1.00
01:29:53.000 What an idiot. 1.00
01:29:55.000 I remember thinking, it took me a while to realize it, but I was like, wow, people are way stupider in Florida than they are in San Francisco. 1.00
01:30:02.000 It was like going from a completely different world. 0.97
01:30:05.000 San Francisco is in a very unusual place.
01:30:08.000 It poisons you, because I've never dropped the attitude from there, and I've never...
01:30:12.000 All the information I believe in is from there.
01:30:16.000 It's a huge rude awakening when you get into the world and realize that it ain't that way. 0.97
01:30:21.000 It ain't that fucking way. 0.86
01:30:22.000 It's amazing how places like San Francisco evolve. 0.95
01:30:24.000 You have these weird pockets of really smart people and really cool people.
01:30:29.000 It's like that whole area, the tech area with, you know, like where all those rich dudes live and like Palo Alto and Atherton and stuff like that.
01:30:41.000 That area is filled with intelligent people.
01:30:44.000 It's really amazing.
01:30:45.000 It's a hotbed of interesting intelligent people.
01:30:48.000 It's weird.
01:30:49.000 And therefore the demands are different.
01:30:51.000 You're going to go to a place and they're going to have...
01:30:53.000 Artisanal bread and excellent cheese and awesome wine.
01:30:58.000 I realize it's also an economic thing, but it's a cultural thing too.
01:31:07.000 The sensitivity, like you say.
01:31:09.000 I didn't realize how redneck-y the world was. 0.99
01:31:13.000 And I used to say it years ago on stage when I played in England and stuff.
01:31:17.000 I'm always looking for a place that's not redneck-y, but I never find it. 1.00
01:31:22.000 And I don't know if that's still true, but, you know, you're just gonna run into it.
01:31:27.000 It's just gonna happen.
01:31:28.000 There's gonna be a yang.
01:31:30.000 Well, yeah.
01:31:30.000 There's always going to be...
01:31:31.000 I can't believe they're going to let faggots marry. 1.00
01:31:33.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:31:33.000 What was Chris Cluey, what the punter just said? 1.00
01:31:35.000 That's not going to make you a raging cock monster. 0.99
01:31:38.000 Monster, yeah. 1.00
01:31:39.000 Well, I always said that people that are worried about gay marriage are either really dumb or secretly worried that dicks are delicious. 1.00
01:31:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:31:45.000 And there's no other options. 1.00
01:31:48.000 No.
01:31:48.000 It's like, why else would you care?
01:31:50.000 It's such a silly, silly... 0.99
01:31:51.000 That one is a baffling one. 0.99
01:31:52.000 But you know what?
01:31:53.000 I think that recently...
01:31:55.000 I don't want to ascribe too much to the last election, but the last election did...
01:32:00.000 It was definitely a forum on that, as well as about a million other issues.
01:32:04.000 But that was an issue that did get acknowledged. 0.56
01:32:06.000 The gay senator in Wisconsin, and there's a bisexual congressperson, which is hilarious. 0.72
01:32:15.000 Wow, that's awesome. 0.73
01:32:16.000 Yeah.
01:32:16.000 And there's also a Buddhist from Hawaii.
01:32:20.000 Really?
01:32:21.000 Yep.
01:32:21.000 Interesting.
01:32:22.000 And I think that really speaks to what's happening now.
01:32:26.000 I hope so.
01:32:27.000 It's incremental, but it happened.
01:32:28.000 I feel like the gay marriage thing has always been like sort of a beach ball that gets tossed in the air to distract people, which is why it never gets resolved. 0.99
01:32:36.000 No, and Bush didn't want to resolve it. 0.99
01:32:37.000 Remember, 2004 was about the same gay marriage and then he didn't do shit. 0.99
01:32:40.000 Like he didn't do shit about abortion or anything else. 0.99
01:32:42.000 He actually didn't really do anything about any social issues other than make people wildly angry. 0.95
01:32:47.000 Was he the first guy that would let you really clearly see that the presidency is not real and that all those decisions are being made by other people?
01:32:55.000 Well, I wasn't old enough to be with it.
01:32:57.000 I mean, I was a teenager or, you know, a young, beautiful teenage boy with legs like a slender Impala as I slid through life in my Adidas.
01:33:09.000 I hear a ride like the wind in the background.
01:33:11.000 Da-da-da.
01:33:12.000 Da-da-da.
01:33:14.000 Da-da-da.
01:33:14.000 Yeah.
01:33:15.000 Da-da-da-da. 0.81
01:33:17.000 And I've got a long way to go.
01:33:19.000 Such a long way to go.
01:33:21.000 Thank you.
01:33:23.000 I'll do Michael McDonald all day long.
01:33:27.000 And, yeah, I went through Watergate when I was, you know, like an early teenager, and I remember it.
01:33:32.000 And I remember the cynicism, even with a 12 or 13, 14-year-old, like, okay, the president can be brought down, the press has this power, the respect that that got in this country, the ending of the war...
01:33:45.000 And then watching the late 70s where we thought we were going to have the Equal Rights Amendment.
01:33:50.000 We thought black people were going to be equal.
01:33:52.000 We thought Indians were going to get a piece of the pie. 1.00
01:33:54.000 And then Reagan came along and all that kind of 60s stuff got washed in the you took mushrooms bath.
01:34:02.000 And everybody, the media and the corporate entities and whatever.
01:34:06.000 That was, I think, when I first, I was probably 19 or 20, when Reagan got elected.
01:34:09.000 To me, he was the first one I thought.
01:34:12.000 You're not up to the job mentally, but we're going to have you do it and you're just going to be this sort of beautiful mountain of reassuring voting for everybody.
01:34:25.000 It was a creepy moment because it was the first...
01:34:27.000 Morning in America.
01:34:28.000 Do you remember that? 1.00
01:34:29.000 Fucking morning in America. 0.99
01:34:31.000 That's what he called his presidency because Carter had such a bad recession and couldn't get anything done and the Democratic Congress defied him and it kind of all went to shit by the end of the term, right? 0.99
01:34:41.000 And the hostages. 0.99
01:34:42.000 The hostages that they capped, and who knows what fucking happened, right? 0.97
01:34:45.000 Whether Reagan got them released, blah, blah, blah. 0.94
01:34:47.000 In any case, having said all that, he called, like, his first term morning in America, like, we've been in the darkness, you know?
01:34:55.000 After, it was clear that 12 years of Republican, 14 years of Republican presidency in Vietnam was the root of what had turned everything horrible, the corrupt CIA, and And the drug dealing and the chicanery. 1.00
01:35:10.000 Such an obvious narrative. 0.97
01:35:11.000 Well, and then, like, so Bush for eight years of snatching, grabbing, making illegal war and fucking horrible fundamentalism and narrowness in the national dialogue.
01:35:25.000 And then, you know, the last four years, people kind of, okay, and then the last election was like, it's clear again that the big paradigm is... 0.64
01:35:37.000 Shifting in the right direction, you think?
01:35:38.000 Well, something's going to have to happen.
01:35:40.000 I think socially it's certainly in the right direction, or what Obama represents.
01:35:43.000 Republicans are going to have to embrace gay marriage and medical marijuana.
01:35:46.000 Those things are going to happen.
01:35:47.000 Yeah, well, it should be legal marijuana, because you know what?
01:35:50.000 It benefits everybody.
01:35:51.000 You don't think it does because you don't know how to use it.
01:35:53.000 It's really that simple. 0.99
01:35:55.000 It's like saying that fucking saws shouldn't be legal, because some people are going to cut their feet off. 0.99
01:35:59.000 Well, you know? 1.00
01:36:00.000 Yeah.
01:36:00.000 And it doesn't necessarily mean a crime wave.
01:36:03.000 That's the misunderstanding.
01:36:04.000 It's going to be less crime, 100%.
01:36:06.000 People are going to be nicer.
01:36:07.000 What people don't understand is that marijuana unquestionably increases sensitivity.
01:36:11.000 It changes the way you feel about things.
01:36:14.000 It makes food taste better.
01:36:17.000 It just changes the whole dynamic of life.
01:36:20.000 And when something like that gets introduced in your system, it gives you a new sense of understanding.
01:36:24.000 And that can help you and push you to evolve your personality.
01:36:29.000 It can be a good thing.
01:36:31.000 And even when people talk about paranoia, they take it and they get paranoid.
01:36:34.000 It's not a bad thing to be paranoid every now and then. 0.57
01:36:37.000 Just get an accurate assessment of how fucking vulnerable you really are and how lucky you really are. 0.98
01:36:42.000 And maybe just turn that around and use it to be thankful and to push out positive energy because of that fucking paranoia. 0.99
01:36:50.000 Don't be scared of weed, is what I'm trying to say. 0.99
01:36:53.000 They need it.
01:36:55.000 Caesar don't fear the reefer.
01:36:56.000 He doesn't.
01:36:57.000 I don't think that's what they said.
01:37:02.000 Isn't it?
01:37:03.000 I don't know, maybe.
01:37:04.000 It would have been a better song.
01:37:04.000 It is now.
01:37:05.000 It would have been a better song.
01:37:06.000 There's not that many really powerful songs about weed except rap songs.
01:37:10.000 You have to go to Cypress Hill if you really want to get a powerful song about weed.
01:37:13.000 Here's a Thought Swallow one.
01:37:15.000 I dream about a ray for five feet long, a little bit hot but not too strong.
01:37:19.000 You'll be high but not for long if you're a viper.
01:37:22.000 What is that?
01:37:23.000 Fats Waller?
01:37:23.000 Yeah.
01:37:24.000 Who's he?
01:37:24.000 Fats Waller was a songwriter from Harlem in the 20s and 30s.
01:37:29.000 I guess he died about World War II. He was pretty young.
01:37:31.000 And he wrote Honeysuckle Rose, and he wrote I Hate You Because Your Feet's Too Big.
01:37:35.000 He had a bunch of weed songs, though. 1.00
01:37:37.000 Dude, you know so much about so much weird shit. 0.99
01:37:39.000 Well, I was going to say you do. 1.00
01:37:41.000 I mean, I've never heard about Jay McCaffrey and your insane historian who dissected the Dead Sea Scrolls, whose Ingersoll is it?
01:37:48.000 John Marco Allegro.
01:37:49.000 Allegro.
01:37:50.000 Why can't I think of Allegro?
01:37:51.000 These are just repeated subjects to death to me.
01:37:54.000 It's so funny when I can explain them to somebody who's never heard them before, because I'm such a dork, that's all I think about. 1.00
01:37:59.000 Right, and all I think about is the stupid shit I think about. 1.00
01:38:02.000 It is funny how you can get on these crazy paths of knowledge and store weird shit that comes out and people look at you like, what the fuck do you know that for, man? 1.00
01:38:12.000 Right. 0.98
01:38:12.000 People say, why do you know things, which I always think is funny. 0.98
01:38:14.000 Because the answer is easy, because I'm learning about it. 0.89
01:38:17.000 Yeah, well, for some people, you can get stuck in a bad situation where you're showing up and you work with a bunch of dummies.
01:38:23.000 But it's a good job. 0.99
01:38:24.000 And so you're on that vibe every day that's talking to dumb, uninterested people, bored people. 0.98
01:38:31.000 And then you go home. 0.97
01:38:33.000 What do you do?
01:38:33.000 You watch TV? It's hard to find a good conversation sometimes.
01:38:38.000 It is.
01:38:39.000 And that's the thing about the podcast that makes it so interesting.
01:38:44.000 I mean a lot of weirdos.
01:38:45.000 And people who come to my show are...
01:38:47.000 Sometimes it's a specific thing they want to talk about.
01:38:50.000 Sometimes it's more general.
01:38:51.000 But you...
01:38:52.000 There's no lack of points of view and fields of interest.
01:38:59.000 People are throwing things at me all the time that I should talk about that I don't know anything about.
01:39:03.000 You know what I mean?
01:39:03.000 Right, right, right.
01:39:04.000 And then we get string theory and David Foster Wallace and this and that. 0.98
01:39:09.000 And I'm like, I don't fucking know anything about that. 0.52
01:39:12.000 But you're the smartest man in the world, so I try to learn something sometimes. 0.87
01:39:15.000 But I also don't want to be...
01:39:17.000 The person with a little bit of knowledge about something who gets everything wrong?
01:39:20.000 Yes.
01:39:20.000 Because that's more annoying than my usual pedantic, I know everything about everything.
01:39:25.000 Right. 0.98
01:39:26.000 Yeah, if you pretend you know more than you know and you get shit wrong, it's very bad. 0.99
01:39:30.000 You're shot down immediately, too, by a million people right now. 0.98
01:39:32.000 It's not good.
01:39:33.000 You can't do it anymore.
01:39:34.000 Yeah, you should just Google it.
01:39:35.000 You should Google it.
01:39:36.000 Well, no one can Google anything.
01:39:38.000 That's what I find so funny about the interwebs.
01:39:40.000 Everybody has a phone on them all the time, and yet no one will look up.
01:39:43.000 No one will click past the first link.
01:39:45.000 Yeah. 0.95
01:39:45.000 Well, especially if you're asserting something silly. 0.95
01:39:49.000 Yeah.
01:39:49.000 Yeah, this is, I don't know, it's a real exciting time, I think, the ability to...
01:39:56.000 To have things like your podcast now where it just gets released out into the world and then just picks up new viewers and you do something like this and I'm sure this is going to have a bunch of people download it now from iTunes and get hooked on it.
01:40:11.000 It's such a beautiful and neat path.
01:40:15.000 It's all so clean.
01:40:17.000 It's direct to the artist.
01:40:18.000 Greg Proops takes it.
01:40:20.000 Greg Proops puts it online.
01:40:22.000 You download it.
01:40:23.000 You're connected with one step to you putting it up there.
01:40:28.000 And you can listen to it at your discretion.
01:40:30.000 You can fast-forward it.
01:40:31.000 You can burn it.
01:40:32.000 You can copy it and send it to someone else.
01:40:34.000 I'm sure people do it with you.
01:40:36.000 Every once in a while, this guy from Sweden or something, And I don't know how he found me.
01:40:40.000 He's on Facebook.
01:40:40.000 He'll do a mix where there's like music behind a part of it.
01:40:44.000 And you go, that's really cool.
01:40:46.000 I wouldn't have thought of that, you know? 1.00
01:40:48.000 Yeah, videos of rants have gone on with these like really become these really inspirational videos where someone spliced in music and Eisenhower speeches and fucking crazy shit, man. 0.99
01:40:57.000 And it's all just people that connect to something on the internet. 0.98
01:41:01.000 So we live in strange times, Greg Proops.
01:41:03.000 I know.
01:41:04.000 It's amazing, isn't it?
01:41:05.000 That's the exciting part is like I'm ready for a lot of the old stuff to go away.
01:41:10.000 I mean, I have tradition, obviously.
01:41:13.000 I write with a piece of paper and a pen.
01:41:15.000 Do you really?
01:41:17.000 I feel like I can't write as fast that way, so ideas slip away from me.
01:41:21.000 But I do write it down before I go on stage.
01:41:26.000 Especially new stuff, I feel like if I don't physically write it down with a pen and a paper, I don't remember it the same way.
01:41:32.000 That's exactly what I was going to say, Joe.
01:41:34.000 We're good to go.
01:42:01.000 I think?
01:42:23.000 Because the words just appear.
01:42:25.000 Like, I can type a word in a second, whereas it takes several seconds.
01:42:29.000 But can you remember it if you type it?
01:42:31.000 No.
01:42:31.000 But I can write better.
01:42:33.000 So I get the trance out and I can get more information out as I'm writing. 0.97
01:42:36.000 But then I go back and I'm like, did I fucking write that? 0.92
01:42:39.000 I don't even remember writing that. 0.99
01:42:40.000 I'll laugh at some of my own shit and then I'll go, okay, I gotta keep that part. 0.94
01:42:44.000 Right. 0.77
01:42:44.000 Because I don't even remember writing, because out of five hours of writing, how much do you actually remember? 0.77
01:42:48.000 But the act of actually scribing it into a paper, a piece of paper, there's something about that that's like, it just really like, it just stores in your memory.
01:42:59.000 It's like, humans have been doing it that way for so long.
01:43:03.000 It's like, there's a direct pathway.
01:43:05.000 It's been 5, 7, 10,000 years since people started writing.
01:43:09.000 I think there's a real profound connection with the paper.
01:43:12.000 Yeah.
01:43:13.000 Have you ever thought about releasing those with a special?
01:43:17.000 When you release a special, release your notes as well?
01:43:20.000 Wow.
01:43:21.000 No, I haven't.
01:43:22.000 One time I did a fun article for Filter Magazine.
01:43:24.000 The guy came over to me and he saw me fumbling with my notes.
01:43:28.000 And I said, it's all different pieces of hotel stationery.
01:43:30.000 So I asked my wife to pick it.
01:43:32.000 He goes, well, that'll be the article.
01:43:33.000 Just, I want a picture of these...
01:43:36.000 You know, notes, setless.
01:43:39.000 And I said to my wife, you pick it out. 1.00
01:43:41.000 I gave her the folder full of shit. 1.00
01:43:43.000 So she picked out four random ones. 0.99
01:43:44.000 It was one from like Paris, one from Minnesota, one from a place I didn't remember being.
01:43:49.000 It was like the double tree in and somewhere, you know, and then there was another one. 0.98
01:43:52.000 And then it just said like Clinton, you know, corn, whatever the fuck was on the list, Olsen twins. 0.96
01:44:00.000 And I kind of went through the list as the article and just went like, yeah, I was doing Clinton jokes in Paris, you know. 0.98
01:44:05.000 Well, I think I said, it's always 92 when I rock the mic, rock the mic, or whatever.
01:44:10.000 You know, like, there's a weird insight into kind of, like, what's going on exactly then with all your set lists, because the different notes you make on them and stuff.
01:44:19.000 I don't know that there's that much to be garnered from...
01:44:23.000 I mean, I could probably remember some of the bits and some I couldn't remember.
01:44:26.000 I think it's just something that might be cool, like if I was a fan and I... You'd like them?
01:44:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
01:44:31.000 To see my old songs?
01:44:32.000 Yeah, like maybe put it up online or something.
01:44:34.000 If you just put the photos online.
01:44:37.000 Well, you ever see that website called Letters of Note?
01:44:40.000 No.
01:44:41.000 And there's another one, something of note.
01:44:43.000 But Letters of Note is...
01:44:46.000 Letters people wrote to each other, or even...
01:44:48.000 I think there's one called Lists of Note.
01:44:50.000 And the Lists of Note is just a different list that famous people wrote.
01:44:53.000 Or any, you know, notable.
01:44:54.000 Like, the one I remember is Thelonious Monk.
01:44:57.000 Because I read it on my show.
01:44:58.000 Thelonious Monk, you know, he had different mental problems and stuff.
01:45:02.000 You know, if you've ever seen him play, like, he'd play and then he'd sort of get up and walk around the stage, you know.
01:45:06.000 Oh, really?
01:45:07.000 Yeah.
01:45:08.000 And he's extraordinary.
01:45:09.000 And then he was given drugs and they didn't quite work out.
01:45:11.000 But anyway, he's a genius.
01:45:12.000 And he could both compose and arrange and extemporize.
01:45:15.000 And his band was, you know, kind of put in the position of having to deal with his personality, right?
01:45:21.000 Like, because he wasn't like a regular guy who, hey, let's, you know, I'll be there at five.
01:45:26.000 You know, he had to kind of be pushed around to places.
01:45:29.000 But then when he could play, he was...
01:45:31.000 So he wrote a note, like...
01:45:33.000 And on the note it says, how do we dress tonight?
01:45:34.000 Sharp as possible, underlined, right?
01:45:36.000 And then if you're the drummer, think of something.
01:45:39.000 You know, like there's all this cool, like really broken down, like the thoughts you have before you go on stage, like about the band and how you wanted the band to play and look.
01:45:46.000 Right.
01:45:47.000 And I would read that out sometimes.
01:45:49.000 And so I would say on the show, how do we dress tonight?
01:45:52.000 Sharp as possible.
01:45:53.000 Oh, that's badass.
01:45:54.000 Yeah, right?
01:45:54.000 So there's lists of note and there's letters of note.
01:45:57.000 And then the last letter of note, someone sent it to me, was Jackie Robinson went to a luncheon or a dinner that Ike was speaking at, right?
01:46:07.000 And Jackie was an executive.
01:46:09.000 Yeah.
01:46:09.000 Jackie Robinson was an executive at Chalk Full of Nuts Coffee, right?
01:46:12.000 Like he got a job in the corporate world.
01:46:14.000 Because he was an intelligent, capable, and famous person, he became an executive at Chocolate Nuts, New York.
01:46:21.000 And so he went to this, like, banquet, and Eisenhower spoke.
01:46:26.000 And there was a lot of black people there who were in business.
01:46:28.000 And Eisenhower said, you've got to be patient.
01:46:31.000 Right?
01:46:32.000 Your time will come and all that.
01:46:34.000 This is the fitties.
01:46:36.000 Wow.
01:46:36.000 So Jackie wrote him a very respectful letter, but also very pointed, about your patience, you know.
01:46:44.000 And I'm not doing it any justice.
01:46:46.000 Dear Mr. President, having recently attended the lunch you're at, I have to say that on behalf of myself and my race, the time for patience is long past.
01:46:54.000 You'll find that over the past several hundred years, we've endured nothing but countless indignity.
01:46:59.000 Right, right, right.
01:47:00.000 And then the riposte is the next letter.
01:47:04.000 Eisenhower wrote him back.
01:47:06.000 Dear Mr. Robinson, thank you for your letter.
01:47:08.000 As I take on board what you said, and I profoundly, you know, blah, blah, blah.
01:47:12.000 Oh, wow.
01:47:13.000 This exchange in a very civil and highfalutin...
01:47:19.000 Right. 0.99
01:47:36.000 You know, trying to run his life and shit, right? 1.00
01:47:38.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:47:39.000 And Eisenhower like, well, you know, one day schools will be integrated and you won't have to drink in another faucet and, you know, you don't want to hear that.
01:47:48.000 Yeah.
01:47:49.000 And so those kind of letters, I think, to me are like...
01:47:51.000 Fascinating.
01:47:52.000 Yeah.
01:47:52.000 So letters of note and lists of note are quite good if you want to just...
01:47:55.000 I mean, you don't have to read everything on it, but it's different letters to people and... 0.97
01:47:58.000 Dude, that's fucking badass. 0.96
01:48:00.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:48:00.000 I will check that out. 0.99
01:48:01.000 But nobody writes letters anymore.
01:48:02.000 In the future, it'll be your set list of note and your Emails of note and your blog of note.
01:48:08.000 Probably.
01:48:08.000 The blog will be a letter.
01:48:09.000 Yeah, it's going away.
01:48:11.000 The physical act of writing is going away.
01:48:12.000 If I didn't have to write my set list down or occasionally fill out a form like when I go to Canada or something like that, I don't write anything anymore.
01:48:20.000 I do.
01:48:21.000 I mean, I write on my computer too.
01:48:23.000 I write on my computer.
01:48:23.000 But I write...
01:48:25.000 In a book, too, because it's funner. 1.00
01:48:27.000 Greg Proops, you're a bad motherfucker. 1.00
01:48:29.000 Ah, you're a bad motherfucker, Joe Logan. 1.00
01:48:31.000 Thank you for coming on the podcast, man. 1.00
01:48:32.000 It was enlightening.
01:48:33.000 It was fun.
01:48:34.000 I wish we had more time, but we don't.
01:48:36.000 No, we have to go.
01:48:37.000 As do you.
01:48:38.000 Let's do this again, man.
01:48:39.000 Yes, please.
01:48:40.000 Oh, awesome.
01:48:41.000 Thank you for having me on.
01:48:41.000 Thank you very much.
01:48:42.000 Ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of the show.
01:48:43.000 Tonight, Ice House Comedy Club in Pasadena. 0.99
01:48:46.000 Joe Diaz, Sam Tripoli, Greg Fitzsimmons, Tom Segura, Adam Hunter, and me, you dirty bitches. 1.00
01:48:52.000 Can I plug mine? 0.98
01:48:53.000 Does this go out before 8 o'clock tonight?
01:48:54.000 It's going out right now. 0.99
01:48:55.000 It's live as shit. 1.00
01:48:56.000 Of course it is. 1.00
01:48:57.000 Tonight, 8 o'clock, the Bar Lubitsch on Santa Monica Boulevard.
01:48:59.000 You'll find it.
01:49:00.000 Boom! 0.99
01:49:01.000 Find that. 0.99
01:49:01.000 And tonight in San Diego, California at American Comedy Co., it is Doug motherfucking Benson and Brian motherfucking Red Band. 0.99
01:49:11.000 And that is a what time show? 0.98
01:49:13.000 8 o'clock. 0.99
01:49:14.000 Be there, bitches, and no undercover cops. 1.00
01:49:16.000 That shit's greasy. 1.00
01:49:18.000 Okay? 1.00
01:49:19.000 We'll see you fuckers next week. 1.00
01:49:21.000 Next week, we got Shane Smith. 0.99
01:49:23.000 We got Monday, Duncan Trussell will christen in the new studio. 0.97
01:49:27.000 And Wednesday, Ari motherfucking Shafir. 0.98
01:49:30.000 Holla. 0.99
01:49:31.000 Shalom.