The Joe Rogan Experience - February 26, 2013


Joe Rogan Experience #329 - Duncan Trussell

Topics
Hover domain registration nootropic supplements cancer survivor space program false eyewitness testimony witch burnings and holidays Killing Zoe virtual reality headset video game development orgasms Jimmy Swaggart affair hate and haters internet haters
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Duncan Trussell
Mentioned
Duncan Trussell Quentin Tarantino Jamie Foxx Roger Avery Killing Zoe Chris Brown Brian Justin Bieber Valentine Bigfoot Hugh Hefner John Lennon Anthony Cialis Little Esther Yoko Ono Maverick Aubrey Rogan Dude and 72 more
Joe Rogan Experience #328 - Dan Carlin Joe Rogan Experience #330 - Eddie Huang

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 27 minutes

Words per minute

183.36

Word count

26,988

Sentence count

2,939

Harmful content

Misogyny

136

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,089

sentences flagged

Hate speech

110

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this week's episode, the boys discuss the first race of the season, the birth of a baby, and the weird things they've been up to in the past week. They also talk about a new product from Shroom Tech Sport, a plant based on the Cordyceps mushroom, and some of the weirdest things that have been going on in their lives in the last week or so. Also, the guys talk about how much they're getting paid to be a part of the podcast, and why they don't have enough money to go out and buy a car. And, of course, there's a lot of other stuff that goes on in the rest of the episode that you should know about, but we're not going to spoil any of it for you. This episode is brought to you by Onnit. Onnit is a company that sells supplements that increase your performance, whether it's cognitively, physically, or mentally. Whether you're looking for a high performance supplement or not, Onnit will have you covered. We also have a ton of stuff that you can get for free if you go to our website and sign up for Onnit here. If you don't already have one, we'll send you a review and we'll give you a discount on Onnit's newest product, ShroomTech Sport. Thanks to Onnit for sponsoring this episode of the pod! We'll be giving you 10% off your first purchase of Onnit s new Shroom tech! We hope you enjoy the pod, we hope you'll leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and tell us what you think about it's a good one, and what you'd like us to send us your thoughts about it! Thanks again for listening, and we're looking forward to seeing you in the next episode! XOXO! - Joe, Joe, and Joe, too! <3 - The Best of Joe and Joe's Music: "Podcasts" by The Good Morning Crew. - Jeff Perla and The Good Life Podcasts by Joe, The Good Luck Crew (featuring the Good Life Crew (feat. ) & The Good Thing Crew (The Good Life, The Bad Luck Crew) Thank You, Joe and The Bad Life (The Bad Life, the Good Work, The Ugly Life, and The Great Work, and So Much More!

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:04.000 It's one of the few things I get nervous about.
00:00:07.000 Not nervous, but like, oh, what do I do here?
00:00:10.000 The start of every podcast.
00:00:12.000 Oh, yeah.
00:00:12.000 It's like, all right.
00:00:13.000 Once we get off to the races, we're all good.
00:00:16.000 Turn off your volume.
00:00:18.000 I think I did.
00:00:21.000 That should be the second thing that you think of.
00:00:23.000 You said it, and right when you said it, the volume came on. 0.99
00:00:26.000 I'm pathetic. 0.99
00:00:28.000 It's not even funny anymore. 0.99
00:00:29.000 It's just sadness.
00:00:32.000 This podcast is brought to you by Hover.
00:00:34.000 If you go to hover.com forward slash Rogan, you can get 10% off your domain name registrations, plus a lot of stuff Hover provides for free, like whoisprivacy.com.
00:00:49.000 What Hover is is a company that's owned by the same folks that own Ting and with the same sort of ethics behind them.
00:00:55.000 They just want to put together a cool website where you can buy a domain name fairly easily and do it all ethically and have it set up real simple, easy, intuitive.
00:01:09.000 I just used it the other day to register some websites.
00:01:12.000 I'm going to go into foreign business, son.
00:01:14.000 Are you really?
00:01:15.000 Yeah, not really.
00:01:16.000 No. 0.85
00:01:16.000 What I'm going to do is claymation porn. 0.85
00:01:19.000 I'm going to make little fake things. 1.00
00:01:22.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:01:22.000 No. 1.00
00:01:24.000 That's not what the website's for.
00:01:26.000 I just had an idea.
00:01:27.000 But anyway, it was easy to do.
00:01:28.000 Super easy.
00:01:29.000 Just go and register it.
00:01:30.000 And as I said, if you go to Hover.com forward slash Rogan, you can save yourself 10% off.
00:01:37.000 Sweet baby Jesus.
00:01:39.000 Look at this.
00:01:39.000 I looked up Duncanlovesbabies.com, which is available, and Duncan does love babies.
00:01:44.000 I love those little sweeties.
00:01:45.000 But then, like, it gives you, like, the other available domains that you can buy through Hover, and it just goes from Duncanlovesbabies.net to Chicago babies.
00:01:52.000 But Chicago babies...
00:01:54.000 It's $488.
00:01:55.000 Listen, just don't connect the dots here.
00:01:57.000 Let's just move on.
00:01:59.000 Do you have a baby in Chicago, don't you?
00:02:01.000 Yeah, forget it.
00:02:02.000 Just move on.
00:02:03.000 You've been having babies?
00:02:05.000 What?
00:02:05.000 I love them.
00:02:07.000 Yeah?
00:02:08.000 Just because you love them doesn't mean you have to have them.
00:02:11.000 That's it.
00:02:12.000 Go to hover.com forward slash Joe, as I said.
00:02:17.000 Is that what I said?
00:02:18.000 Is that even what I said?
00:02:19.000 What was the exact wording of it?
00:02:21.000 Hover.com forward slash Rogan.
00:02:24.000 Sorry.
00:02:24.000 And you get 10% off your domain name registration.
00:02:27.000 So that's hover.com forward slash Rogan.
00:02:30.000 We are also brought to you by Onnit.com.
00:02:33.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. I've done this commercial a fucking billion times. 0.99
00:02:40.000 What Onnit is, is a company that sells supplements that increase your performance, whether it's Cognitively, whether it's physically, there's Shroom Tech Sport, which is an amazing supplement that we put together. 0.91
00:02:56.000 It's from the Cordyceps mushroom, and the idea behind it is there's certain plants, like Cordyceps mushroom being an excellent one, but it's not really a plant, because Cordyceps mushroom is a crazy kind of fungus.
00:03:08.000 It's like a weird...
00:03:09.000 It's sort of a living thing.
00:03:11.000 Funguses are, I believe, I don't want to speak out of school, but I believe they're closer to humans than they are plants.
00:03:16.000 That's right.
00:03:17.000 Is that true?
00:03:18.000 Yeah.
00:03:18.000 Well, this Cordyceps mushroom stuff, they first experimented it apparently in high-altitude herding communities.
00:03:25.000 They found that the cows were more active after they ate these mushrooms.
00:03:29.000 And so they kind of put it together. 0.99
00:03:31.000 And the way it's grown, it's grown like on caterpillars or some shit. 0.99
00:03:35.000 It's like this really freaky fucking process to create. 0.98
00:03:39.000 But what it is, is it's an amazing endurance supplement. 0.99
00:03:43.000 It's fantastic stuff.
00:03:45.000 It's like a really obvious effect if you have a brutal workout.
00:03:51.000 If you're going to go do a spin class, Duncan, and get ferocious to some 80s music. 0.97
00:03:57.000 You know, some fucking Pat Benatar, and you're like, yeah! 0.98
00:04:01.000 Right? 0.99
00:04:03.000 It's just an excellent supplement for endurance.
00:04:07.000 So anybody who's doing jiu-jitsu, if you're doing kettlebells, anything along those lines.
00:04:11.000 It's got a lot of B12 in it as well.
00:04:13.000 Real noticeable effect.
00:04:15.000 Alpha brain is another...
00:04:18.000 A supplement that we have that I swear by. 1.00
00:04:21.000 I've been taking this shit forever. 1.00
00:04:22.000 But I've been taking nootropics forever, too. 0.99
00:04:25.000 I just think it only makes sense to me that if it's possible, as long as I'm not starving, as long as I have money to buy supplements, and if you don't, you know, spend your money on healthy food.
00:04:34.000 But if you have the money, I would always think that...
00:04:36.000 What is, like, really important?
00:04:39.000 Speed.
00:04:40.000 Speed.
00:04:42.000 What is really important?
00:04:43.000 One of the things that's really important to me is the way my brain functions.
00:04:48.000 Because I know it's variable.
00:04:49.000 I know there's a big difference between the way I am when I'm hungover, there's a big difference between the way I am when I'm jet-lagged, and when I'm in the groove, when I feel great, and my words are flowing, and conversations are going smoothly, and you're in the middle. 0.92
00:05:03.000 I don't know what the fuck causes that, okay? 0.74
00:05:05.000 I think it's a bunch of things. 0.98
00:05:06.000 I think it's rest, but I also think it's health, and I also think it's nutrition.
00:05:10.000 And my experience started off with Bill Romanowski stuff.
00:05:15.000 It's called Neuro One.
00:05:17.000 And he created that because he got a bunch of concussions from playing football, famous football player.
00:05:22.000 And he was fighting against it.
00:05:25.000 And one of the things he did is try to improve the quality of his brain, improve the functioning of his mind.
00:05:31.000 So he started experimenting with various nutrients to do that.
00:05:34.000 And that's sort of where AlphaBrain took it from there.
00:05:38.000 We just tried to put together the best combination of what we know so far about these things.
00:05:43.000 And if you're not interested in it, That's cool.
00:05:46.000 I understand.
00:05:47.000 If you are interested in it, you can go and use the code name ROGAN. You can save 10% off any of the supplements.
00:05:53.000 This is all fairly controversial stuff with some people, and that's one of the reasons why Onnit has a money-back guarantee 100%.
00:06:00.000 The first order of 30 pills, within the first 90 days, you have 100% money-back guarantee.
00:06:06.000 You don't even have to return the product. 0.99
00:06:08.000 Just say, this sucks. 0.95
00:06:09.000 Give me my money back. 0.98
00:06:10.000 It's because no one's trying to rip you off. 0.99
00:06:12.000 We're just trying to sell you the best shit. 0.99
00:06:14.000 It's not a massive difference. 0.99
00:06:16.000 It's a subtle difference, but I believe it's a real difference.
00:06:19.000 I think it improves the quality of my thinking.
00:06:22.000 It sounds crazy, but if you just Google nootropic, N-O-O-T-R-O-P-I-C, you will see all the different studies and tests that have been done on it and shown increases in memory and It's really fascinating stuff and very controversial,
00:06:41.000 as I said. 0.97
00:06:42.000 That's a fake butt. 1.00
00:06:43.000 That's a real butt. 1.00
00:06:44.000 That's Whitney. 0.99
00:06:44.000 Really? 0.99
00:06:45.000 Oh yeah, that's real.
00:06:46.000 Wow.
00:06:47.000 Yeah, she's in shape. 0.73
00:06:49.000 She's on it.
00:06:51.000 Oh, forgive me.
00:06:52.000 Oh, forgive me.
00:06:54.000 You know, I've talked about this supplement company so many times with so many podcasts, it almost seems ridiculous, but it's just something I believe in.
00:07:03.000 I believe in the ethics of the company.
00:07:05.000 I believe in the message. 0.99
00:07:06.000 I believe in trying to give people shit that makes your body work better. 0.99
00:07:09.000 I'm huge on that. 0.99
00:07:10.000 I think it's super important.
00:07:11.000 So I'm psyched to be working with them.
00:07:14.000 And again, use the code name ROGAN. Save 10% off any of the supplements.
00:07:18.000 Is this Dr. Laser or who's this guy?
00:07:19.000 I don't know.
00:07:21.000 That's interesting.
00:07:23.000 Oh, that's Heath Haring.
00:07:24.000 Oh, really?
00:07:25.000 Yeah, Heath Haring is a former UFC fighter.
00:07:28.000 Former Pride fighter.
00:07:29.000 Legend.
00:07:30.000 MMA legend.
00:07:31.000 I think he's a pro poker player now. 0.99
00:07:32.000 Crazy, crazy dude. 0.99
00:07:33.000 Wild man. 1.00
00:07:34.000 Look, there's an asteroid.
00:07:35.000 So it doesn't matter because everyone's going to die from this asteroid. 1.00
00:07:37.000 I think Ana is just saying, live it to the hill, bitch. 1.00
00:07:40.000 I don't know what this is. 1.00
00:07:41.000 No, that's a dream.
00:07:42.000 That's just a dope. 0.95
00:07:43.000 That's an alpha brain-induced dream. 0.99
00:07:45.000 That sounds scary as fuck. 0.99
00:07:46.000 Yeah, it doesn't make sense. 0.98
00:07:47.000 Well, look, the whole company is very cool.
00:07:52.000 It's a very cool company.
00:07:53.000 And one of the cool things about it is...
00:07:58.000 Aubrey is a young dude.
00:08:00.000 He's a very enthusiastic guy. 0.89
00:08:02.000 And occasionally they do things that are just a little bit silly.
00:08:07.000 But it's not with bad intentions.
00:08:11.000 He's just all about going after it and getting it.
00:08:14.000 When you talk about going after it and getting it, though, there's a certain douchiness that just sort of comes off when you talk about anything that pumps up your masculinity.
00:08:30.000 Anything that makes you more vibrant as a man.
00:08:34.000 It's borderline really douchey.
00:08:37.000 And one of the things that was in, the guy that my message board picked up, was it said in this new supplement, T Plus, a testosterone supplement, it said something about it increasing your swagger.
00:08:51.000 See, yes!
00:08:52.000 I saw it.
00:08:54.000 First of all, I read it and I went, no.
00:08:56.000 I was just like, no, please.
00:08:58.000 They didn't really write swagger.
00:09:00.000 But it was just, for a lot of young dudes...
00:09:04.000 That's a cool thing to say. 0.98
00:09:05.000 Like, yeah, you know, it's just my fucking swagger, everything. 0.93
00:09:08.000 I mean, are you being honest? 0.99
00:09:09.000 What is swagger?
00:09:10.000 Isn't that important?
00:09:11.000 Isn't it important to have like a sense of invigoration?
00:09:16.000 It's just such a douchey word, unfortunately.
00:09:18.000 Yeah.
00:09:19.000 It's not bad to have a swagger.
00:09:21.000 It's definitely bad to use the word.
00:09:23.000 Yes.
00:09:24.000 Yeah, if it's like a genuine swagger.
00:09:26.000 It's like the name that should not be said.
00:09:28.000 Do you know, I mean, what is that when you feel great, when your life is fucking rolling around, perfect, just on the perfect frequency, and you have that feeling like you're just walking.
00:09:42.000 It's not swagger. 0.93
00:09:43.000 It is kind of a swagger, but swagger is too gross a word, so we have to have another word for it.
00:09:48.000 What is that feeling, that feeling like when you're at your best?
00:09:51.000 Like, wow, I'm about as happy as I think I've ever been.
00:09:56.000 Being in the zone.
00:09:58.000 But what is that?
00:09:59.000 Harm not being harmed.
00:10:00.000 Whatever it is, you can't call it swagger.
00:10:03.000 No.
00:10:05.000 So thank you, Rogan Board, for pointing that out.
00:10:07.000 You know who would know that?
00:10:08.000 The people that make Axe body spray would probably have a good answer with that question.
00:10:12.000 I don't think they would.
00:10:13.000 Even they would be perplexed.
00:10:15.000 The other thing that the Rogan Board pointed out was the T-plus supplement has an ad.
00:10:21.000 Where it's a dude who's this super power-lifter guy.
00:10:25.000 He's like one of the world champion power-lifter guys.
00:10:28.000 He's a huge, enormous guy.
00:10:29.000 And the end of the ad was him at a bar with two different girls.
00:10:35.000 And they're like this guy.
00:10:36.000 Look at this.
00:10:38.000 He's stretching.
00:10:39.000 No, he's kissing it.
00:10:41.000 He made that noise.
00:10:43.000 He's not licking his arm.
00:10:45.000 Go back and look at this video every time we watch it.
00:10:48.000 He just found out he had an arm.
00:10:49.000 He's stretching.
00:10:50.000 What is this thing?
00:10:51.000 You guys don't understand what you're talking about. 0.99
00:10:52.000 He's about to lift 8,000 fucking million pounds. 0.99
00:10:55.000 The guy's enormous. 0.97
00:10:56.000 But the commercial is, you know, I mean, the dude's a legit power lifter.
00:11:00.000 The idea is that it's...
00:11:02.000 Supplement to increase your body's production of testosterone, but at the end of it, it was him with two little hotties at a bar, and it was like, no! 0.54
00:11:11.000 Look at that, he's just grinding cocaine up.
00:11:14.000 That's alpha brain. 0.99
00:11:16.000 That's powder, son.
00:11:17.000 That's how they make on it.
00:11:19.000 That's an enormous person. 1.00
00:11:21.000 Damn, look at that swag. 0.99
00:11:22.000 Do you think he's got swag, for real? 1.00
00:11:24.000 He's swaggering.
00:11:25.000 Would you not even say he's got swag, would you just say, swag?
00:11:30.000 No.
00:11:30.000 I'd run from that, dude, honestly, if I saw that.
00:11:34.000 Cue the music, man. 1.00
00:11:35.000 Use a code named Rogan to go fuck yourself. 1.00
00:11:40.000 The Joe Rogan experience. 1.00
00:11:41.000 We love you. 1.00
00:11:42.000 Duncan Truss is here, bitch. 1.00
00:11:48.000 The Powerful Duncan Trussle! 1.00
00:12:18.000 There's no surviving.
00:12:20.000 I mean we do for a little.
00:12:22.000 We put it off for a little.
00:12:23.000 You extend the amount of time that you're sentient.
00:12:26.000 You extend the amount of time that you have consciousness.
00:12:29.000 It's a very funny thing.
00:12:30.000 It's like our age starts the moment the matter we're composed of wakes up to an awareness of itself and stops the moment it's not aware of itself anymore.
00:12:38.000 But what we are, that's not really our age.
00:12:40.000 It's much longer than that and surviving means You've extended the amount of self-awareness by some number of years.
00:12:47.000 But it doesn't really...
00:12:49.000 Surviving cancer...
00:12:49.000 I don't...
00:12:50.000 This is something I've been talking about on stage.
00:12:51.000 The whole surviving cancer thing is a...
00:12:53.000 It's an annoying term.
00:12:55.000 Like, now I'm a cancer survivor?
00:12:57.000 That's what I am now?
00:12:58.000 I don't want to be that.
00:12:59.000 There's so many other things I'd like to be represented by than that.
00:13:05.000 I mean anyone out there who's fighting cancer right now, by the way, keep up the good fight. 0.95
00:13:09.000 There's a whole brotherhood that you find out there of people – an ancestorhood of people who are dealing with this shit and it's beautiful. 0.68
00:13:16.000 So I don't mean to denigrate your struggle that you're going through. 0.92
00:13:19.000 It's just – I wish there was another word for it than survivor.
00:13:24.000 It's such a dire term.
00:13:25.000 It's such a dire term.
00:13:27.000 It's like you just climbed out of a dragon's mouth or a smoldering car.
00:13:33.000 I think there's a real problem whenever you label anything.
00:13:37.000 Call people a cancer victim, a cancer survivor, a cancer success in the war on cancer.
00:13:46.000 Whenever you automatically categorize it, it falls into this sort of package.
00:13:53.000 They want to classify everything, man.
00:13:55.000 By the way, it's fine.
00:13:59.000 I'm a cancer survivor.
00:14:01.000 It's not a term I care for, but fine.
00:14:04.000 But what's weird is when people really...
00:14:05.000 That becomes their new identity.
00:14:07.000 Like what they were before they didn't die from a disease or a thing becomes insignificant to this one little moment of...
00:14:17.000 Right.
00:14:18.000 And I think that's where it's weird to me.
00:14:20.000 It's like, well, no, you're the sum total of everything you've done, not just some inevitable blip that emerged that you climbed out of or temporarily managed to stop.
00:14:31.000 Why are you wearing a pink ribbon then? 0.99
00:14:33.000 How do you know what's tied around my cock? 1.00
00:14:36.000 It's a cock ring. 1.00
00:14:41.000 Who's the first sick fuck that figured out a cock ring? 1.00
00:14:44.000 I gotta figure out how to get more blood in my dick. 1.00
00:14:47.000 Hmm. 1.00
00:14:47.000 How do I do this? 1.00
00:14:49.000 Let me just clamp this bitch down. 1.00
00:14:50.000 Have you ever tried one? 1.00
00:14:50.000 No. 1.00
00:14:51.000 It seems like it might be a good idea. 0.95
00:14:52.000 I've done the finger cock ring, though. 0.93
00:14:54.000 When you're a little too drunk and you can't quite get it hard, so you squeeze the base of it to keep a semi going. 0.95
00:14:58.000 I didn't know about that trick.
00:14:59.000 I didn't know that either.
00:15:00.000 How do you not know?
00:15:02.000 Who's that guy?
00:15:03.000 How do you not know?
00:15:05.000 How do you not know about this? 1.00
00:15:07.000 Clamp your dick! 1.00
00:15:08.000 Oh, Jesus. 1.00
00:15:09.000 You don't know about this, don't you?
00:15:10.000 Come on.
00:15:11.000 Yeah, you never...
00:15:12.000 That was one of my bits.
00:15:15.000 Way back in the day.
00:15:16.000 I'm like Hugh Hefner or something like that. 1.00
00:15:18.000 Clamping the base of your cock? 1.00
00:15:20.000 Yeah, I forget. 1.00
00:15:21.000 It was...
00:15:23.000 Yeah.
00:15:23.000 It was Hugh Hefner.
00:15:25.000 Yeah, it was like, Hugh Hefner had said in this magazine, like they were asking him, like, hey, you know, you date like these 20-year-old girls.
00:15:34.000 What do they feel?
00:15:35.000 How do they feel about dating you?
00:15:37.000 And he said, well, they feel very lucky.
00:15:38.000 This has always been a dream for them.
00:15:40.000 And then, you know, I had this whole lucky, lucky living dream.
00:15:43.000 Oh, squeeze the base of it.
00:15:45.000 I've got a semi going.
00:15:47.000 Lucky girl. 1.00
00:15:48.000 That's three-quarter cock. 1.00
00:15:50.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:15:51.000 Lucky to squeeze the base of it to keep a semi going as old as time.
00:15:55.000 So some dude figured out how to do it with like a rope.
00:15:58.000 There's this girl that hangs out at the Comedy Store and her mom was a famous Playboy person that dated Hugh Hefner. 0.99
00:16:07.000 And she was saying that one time she had those balls inside of her, those bang-wang balls or whatever they're called. 0.99
00:16:12.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:16:13.000 And then he went down on her and one came out and choked him and she had to like save his life.
00:16:20.000 Oh my god. 1.00
00:16:22.000 You fucking freaks. 1.00
00:16:23.000 That's the universe trying to kill you. 1.00
00:16:25.000 That's great. 1.00
00:16:26.000 Eating fucking balls that shoot out of your chick's snatch. 1.00
00:16:29.000 Big giant lead shot. 1.00
00:16:32.000 That's a funny way to die.
00:16:34.000 Yeah, what is that about? 1.00
00:16:35.000 Do you carry the weights in your pussy so it makes you clamp down and that's what keeps your pussy tight? 1.00
00:16:40.000 Is that the move? 1.00
00:16:41.000 Yeah, it's like you're constantly tightening your pussy up to control these balls that are inside of you when you walk. 1.00
00:16:47.000 So it's kind of like a wee fit for your vagina. 1.00
00:16:49.000 That's fucking bananas. 1.00
00:16:51.000 How crazy is that? 1.00
00:16:52.000 Chicks have been lifting weights with their pussies. 1.00
00:16:54.000 It works, too. 1.00
00:16:56.000 Yeah, there was a woman in Russia, I think it was a Russian woman, who could stick something in her pussy and clamp it down and pick up weight. 1.00
00:17:06.000 Actually, like a jaw, it would clamp down. 1.00
00:17:09.000 She would stick a ball on a rope in her pussy and then clamp down and lift weights. 1.00
00:17:15.000 Crazy. 1.00
00:17:16.000 Have you seen these anal trainer tails? 1.00
00:17:18.000 They're like, what, girls who like anal, they keep them inside of them and they have like a tail, like a hair tail, like a ponytail. 1.00
00:17:25.000 Yeah, I've seen those. 1.00
00:17:26.000 Any chick who can lift weights with her pussy has got to be just an unstoppable freak. 1.00
00:17:30.000 Like, there's no way you're going to satisfy her. 1.00
00:17:32.000 She's lifting weights with her pussy. 1.00
00:17:34.000 She is like, she's all about milk and cock. 1.00
00:17:38.000 That's all she's all about. 0.99
00:17:39.000 That's her number one thing online. 1.00
00:17:41.000 And she's so good at it, she can't wait to get a cock in there to shock the guy. 1.00
00:17:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:17:46.000 It's probably, and it's probably mostly new cocks. 0.99
00:17:48.000 You know, because these guys are like, there's no, what's the big, oh Jesus! 1.00
00:17:52.000 And she, it's like a fucking fist grabbing a hole in her dick. 1.00
00:17:55.000 I mean, she can pick up weights with her pussy. 1.00
00:17:59.000 It's probably way stronger than her hand because she's developed it in some crazy way. 0.99
00:18:04.000 It's hilarious the way people spend time on this planet. 0.99
00:18:06.000 It's amazing that some people are just like, I'm going to make my pussy strong in this incarnation. 0.99
00:18:13.000 What if it was amazing, though? 0.99
00:18:15.000 What if it made a huge difference?
00:18:17.000 Oh, I don't think there's a...
00:18:19.000 Like, girls do Kegels. 1.00
00:18:20.000 I'm not saying there's better or worse.
00:18:22.000 I'm just saying it's a funny thing. 0.99
00:18:23.000 Like, you know, like, if you came out of a spaceship on some alien planet and you're like, alright, while I'm on this planet, I'm going to make it so my vaginal muscles are fucking strong! 0.96
00:18:34.000 Well, if you enjoy sex, though, and you enjoy pleasure, it really is possible that you can make the vaginal muscles stronger. 0.98
00:18:42.000 I think you can.
00:18:43.000 But why wouldn't you do that?
00:18:44.000 I would do that if I was a chick. 1.00
00:18:46.000 Why wouldn't you want to have like a super pussy? 1.00
00:18:48.000 I deal with dick pills. 1.00
00:18:50.000 You deal with dick pills. 1.00
00:18:51.000 We all deal with dick pills. 1.00
00:18:52.000 I am not leveling judgment on these wonderful women who are making their vaginas strong and I encourage it. 1.00
00:18:58.000 I think you should do it if you're drawn towards that.
00:19:01.000 I just think it's a curious thing the way people spend their time.
00:19:05.000 That's certainly of the ways people spend their time.
00:19:07.000 That is a fascinating way. 0.99
00:19:09.000 It's also fascinating, the idea of like a Viagra or something along those lines, like a pill that makes your dick hard. 0.99
00:19:17.000 And using zinc. 0.99
00:19:18.000 What if there was like exercise that you could do that could make your dick bigger and harder? 0.99
00:19:25.000 Like your dick, you get bicep muscles? 1.00
00:19:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:19:28.000 Like you could grow your dick the way a dude grows his chest muscles. 1.00
00:19:32.000 Just steady workouts. 1.00
00:19:34.000 Gyms would be disgusting. 1.00
00:19:35.000 Did you see the video I posted about the Indian guy, the sadhu that wraps his cock up in a stick and stretches it out? 1.00
00:19:41.000 No. 0.99
00:19:42.000 It's on my Twitter.
00:19:43.000 Find it on my Twitter and pull it up.
00:19:44.000 I think we can even show it on Ustream because you don't really see it.
00:19:49.000 Sort of.
00:19:50.000 It's sort of tucked away.
00:19:51.000 It's very strange.
00:19:53.000 Please Ustream, don't take us down.
00:19:55.000 Please YouTube, don't take us down.
00:19:57.000 Oh yeah, Ustream won't let you show this?
00:19:59.000 This is amazing, this guy.
00:20:01.000 Yeah, if there's nudity in it, we can't show it.
00:20:03.000 Oh, you can show it.
00:20:03.000 Just show it.
00:20:04.000 It's like tribal nudity.
00:20:06.000 Tribal nudity!
00:20:07.000 That's like National Geographic nudity.
00:20:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:09.000 We can do it.
00:20:11.000 What'll happen?
00:20:12.000 I don't even want to say what, because...
00:20:14.000 Could you go to jail?
00:20:15.000 I'm going to turn off the mic's voice.
00:20:16.000 Okay, hold on.
00:20:24.000 It happened to me already a few times.
00:20:27.000 Why don't you just describe it in a very picturesque way?
00:20:30.000 Hmm.
00:20:30.000 I just had it happen.
00:20:32.000 Damn. 1.00
00:20:33.000 Is there a way you can stick a little bouncing ball over his cock and balls? 1.00
00:20:37.000 Uh, maybe. 1.00
00:20:39.000 Take a look at it yourself.
00:20:41.000 I just go to your Twitter page.
00:20:41.000 Yeah, okay, just go to my Twitter page.
00:20:43.000 I tweet, I'm a chatty bitch. 0.99
00:20:45.000 I tweet it up. 0.99
00:20:46.000 Yeah.
00:20:47.000 You're gonna lose a lot. 0.88
00:20:48.000 I mean, if you do, like, the dick pills and use the, like, ZMA like I've been doing, I think... 0.97
00:20:52.000 I do not do those crazy... 0.99
00:20:53.000 If I was gonna do a dick pill, I would get the real chemical. 1.00
00:20:56.000 I think you're taking a crazy gamble with these fucking 7-Eleven drugstores. 0.99
00:21:01.000 I know, I'm reviewing them, and I've gotten to the point where, like, I realize 7-Eleven... 0.99
00:21:05.000 It takes the safe route.
00:21:06.000 Like, their products are a little bit weaker and not safe. 0.98
00:21:09.000 But you go to some of these, like, miscellaneous gas stations that don't give a shit, there's, like, these things called, like, ML2, like, good for two weeks. 0.97
00:21:16.000 And you're like, how is that even possible? 0.98
00:21:18.000 And then so you take it, and, like, on the cover, it's just, like, a skull and a boob or something.
00:21:22.000 Well, the way they're getting away with it, as Aubrey told us, was that they're taking...
00:21:27.000 What's in that?
00:21:28.000 They're taking giant amounts of generic Cialis and generic Viagra and like those chemicals are not that expensive and you can get those chemicals and if you sell it in like little single serving forms at a gas station, it's actually like profitable. 0.99
00:21:45.000 So these crazy fucks are just selling Viagra. 1.00
00:21:48.000 I mean it's Cialis, Viagra. 1.00
00:21:50.000 I should go grab the one that's in my car and just show you. 0.98
00:21:54.000 How ridiculous this one is.
00:21:55.000 You also should really listen to what Tim Ferriss said. 0.97
00:21:58.000 Oh, I know.
00:21:58.000 Tim Ferriss, who's a brilliant guy, has a great quote.
00:22:02.000 And the quote is, he doesn't believe there's a biological free lunch.
00:22:06.000 He's like, anything that's doing that has that positive an impact in one direction will have, most likely, an equally positive reaction in another direction.
00:22:18.000 It's very possible that it could cause real issues.
00:22:21.000 You're talking about something super potent.
00:22:23.000 Yeah, isn't that weird?
00:22:24.000 Why is that?
00:22:25.000 That's a fascinating thing that one thing, there's always a weird trade-off or whatever it is. 0.99
00:22:30.000 But I mean, what could it be that your dick doesn't work without that stuff? 0.99
00:22:33.000 Is that possible? 1.00
00:22:35.000 I think with dick pills, it's better to burn out than to fade away. 0.99
00:22:41.000 Rise up, gather round, rock this place to the ground. 0.99
00:22:47.000 Bye, round Yeah, dude, you just went Def Leppard on us.
00:22:50.000 That's right.
00:22:51.000 That's hilarious.
00:22:52.000 Yeah, well, you might have a good point.
00:22:53.000 It depends on, you know, would you rather have...
00:22:57.000 I don't do it every day.
00:22:57.000 ...20 years of life left with boners or 30 years of life with basically...
00:23:05.000 You start off with a three-quarter chubby this year.
00:23:08.000 I only do it...
00:23:09.000 Half a chubby next year, but it shuts off within five or six years.
00:23:14.000 And then basically the rest of your life, you just walk around. 0.97
00:23:19.000 I only do it when I go to strip clubs, for the most part, unless I know that there's a guaranteed good lineup of sex that night. 0.87
00:23:25.000 Oh, yeah. 0.91
00:23:26.000 Well, as long as you're not abusing it, Brian.
00:23:28.000 I just don't know if that stuff's safe.
00:23:30.000 I mean, what is a...
00:23:31.000 I don't know.
00:23:32.000 What's the studies on taking that?
00:23:34.000 That stuff you gave me, Brian, those boner pills?
00:23:38.000 Those things are magic.
00:23:43.000 Dudes are not supposed to take them if they're on nitrates.
00:23:46.000 Is that correct?
00:23:47.000 Like men who have real serious heart issues, I believe?
00:23:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:23:50.000 If you have a very serious heart issue, you also shouldn't be fucking like a 12-year-old. 1.00
00:23:54.000 And these things make your... 1.00
00:23:55.000 Or you should.
00:23:57.000 Well, it depends on what...
00:23:58.000 What a way to go.
00:23:59.000 That's the way to go.
00:24:00.000 It's a great way to go.
00:24:01.000 It's a great way to go.
00:24:02.000 But those pills you gave me...
00:24:03.000 Hot Rods 5,000s?
00:24:04.000 Yes. 1.00
00:24:06.000 Those fucking things, those give you like, like, first time you see porn when you're a teen. 1.00
00:24:14.000 Terminal boners. 1.00
00:24:14.000 Terminal, like, insane Hiroshima boners. 1.00
00:24:18.000 You know why, also, why it's sold where it's sold? 0.99
00:24:21.000 Because it's sold for gay people to go clubbing. 1.00
00:24:24.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.99
00:24:25.000 But, I mean, a straight guy's gonna take advantage of that. 0.94
00:24:28.000 All that boner. 0.50
00:24:29.000 Yeah, and the... 0.99
00:24:30.000 And the fucking thing, man, it says on it, I researched this stuff, it says, and this made me think that Aubrey's Cialis theory was totally dead on, because on the website, it says that the ingredient is crushed up ants. 0.99
00:24:46.000 I know. 0.99
00:24:47.000 Ant boners. 0.90
00:24:47.000 But that's something someone lying says. 0.90
00:24:49.000 He's just like, say anything, nobody fucking cares. 0.99
00:24:52.000 If they have grave boners, they don't care what it comes from, you could say it. 0.99
00:24:58.000 Crushed up ants.
00:24:59.000 That's hilarious. 0.61
00:25:01.000 That's exactly what they would say if they were totally bullshitting you.
00:25:04.000 What is it?
00:25:05.000 It's bugs.
00:25:06.000 Crushed up ants. 0.99
00:25:07.000 I don't give a fuck what it is. 1.00
00:25:08.000 It makes your dick hard, son. 1.00
00:25:10.000 What's with the questions? 1.00
00:25:11.000 I'm trying to sell some illegal shit. 0.99
00:25:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:25:16.000 Yeah, I mean, does the Food and Drug Administration ever shake loose a tablet and there's not an ant in this fucking thing? 0.98
00:25:22.000 Do they shake loose tablets? 0.98
00:25:25.000 And then, by the way, it might be possible that there's a toxin in certain ants that could give you a hard-on because they know that spider has it.
00:25:33.000 Sure.
00:25:34.000 There's that spider in Brazil, the walking spider.
00:25:38.000 Apparently, it just wanders around the ground.
00:25:39.000 And if it stings you, it gives you the most...
00:25:44.000 Possibly painful boner. 1.00
00:25:46.000 Where your dick splits open like a ballpark Frank. 1.00
00:25:49.000 Like literally. 1.00
00:25:50.000 Yeah, you're done.
00:25:52.000 It's super duper toxic. 0.99
00:25:56.000 It doesn't just give you this ridiculous boner. 0.99
00:25:58.000 Most of the time it kills people. 1.00
00:26:00.000 But if it doesn't kill you, your dick is done. 1.00
00:26:03.000 Your dick's broken. 1.00
00:26:04.000 Forever. 1.00
00:26:04.000 Why do we allow that to exist? 1.00
00:26:06.000 That spider? 0.99
00:26:06.000 It's a redlining dick bug. 0.99
00:26:09.000 It just redlines your dick. 1.00
00:26:10.000 Boom! 1.00
00:26:12.000 It's like taking an engine deep into the fucking pistons start smoking. 1.00
00:26:17.000 Yeah, I don't know why we allow that, but Jesus Christ, that's a scary fucking animal. 1.00
00:26:22.000 Insect, rather. 0.99
00:26:23.000 You dilute it down enough, you know, you mix it with enough stuff, it's perfect.
00:26:27.000 Well, that's what they're thinking now.
00:26:29.000 Get on it, spider boners! 1.00
00:26:30.000 They're trying to figure out a way to do it.
00:26:33.000 And apparently that's connected to nitric oxide.
00:26:38.000 And that nitric oxide, I believe I'm saying it right, is what is in a lot of those NO2 explode, all these different sort of supplements, these pre-workout supplements that get people pumped up.
00:26:51.000 Because apparently, Viagra, Cialis, all those things, they're performance enhancing.
00:26:57.000 As far as your body's ability to pump blood through itself, it makes you more efficient.
00:27:04.000 And it gives you an endurance benefit.
00:27:07.000 Huh.
00:27:07.000 That's why I do it?
00:27:08.000 Yeah, so they're making it...
00:27:09.000 I believe it's illegal in the Olympics.
00:27:11.000 I think you can't be on...
00:27:12.000 I know you can't be on that Provigil.
00:27:16.000 That Provigil is illegal in the Olympics. 1.00
00:27:18.000 They test for that shit now. 1.00
00:27:19.000 And I believe they test for this as well. 1.00
00:27:22.000 Yeah, man.
00:27:23.000 That Pro Vigil is pretty awesome, too.
00:27:25.000 You know, I just found this...
00:27:27.000 I started looking up, like, my favorite authors to see if they were on speed.
00:27:33.000 And, like, the majority of my favorite authors are on speed.
00:27:37.000 And that really got me thinking, man.
00:27:40.000 That really got me thinking.
00:27:41.000 It's like...
00:27:42.000 Because Pro Vigil, Adderall...
00:27:45.000 These are modern...
00:27:46.000 This is speed.
00:27:47.000 It's speed.
00:27:48.000 And forgive me for saying this, man, but my experience with speed and alpha brain...
00:27:53.000 Alpha brain is speed. 0.89
00:27:55.000 Like, you can call it...
00:27:57.000 I'm sure it has, like, thought-enhancing things.
00:28:00.000 But it's speed.
00:28:02.000 When you take...
00:28:04.000 That drug, you feel the...
00:28:05.000 You feel like Alphabrain makes you feel speedy?
00:28:07.000 Low-level Adderall.
00:28:08.000 Wow.
00:28:09.000 I've never done Adderall, but what Alphabrain does for me, it never makes me feel like accelerated.
00:28:15.000 It makes me feel like smoother.
00:28:17.000 Yeah, it gives me a mild...
00:28:21.000 Speed bump.
00:28:22.000 Wow, that's interesting.
00:28:23.000 Are you doing the old formula or the newer formula?
00:28:27.000 The new formula is more conservative because some people were having headaches.
00:28:31.000 It was the old formula and it made me feel weird and it did give me weird dreams.
00:28:34.000 Oh yeah, the dreams, if you take them right before bed.
00:28:38.000 Dreams are weird.
00:28:39.000 I don't know how to guarantee a dream.
00:28:41.000 People go, I took Alpha Brain, man. 0.99
00:28:43.000 I'm fucking no dreams. 0.99
00:28:44.000 You might have. 0.98
00:28:45.000 You just don't remember them, okay?
00:28:47.000 And I don't know why you remember some and why you don't remember. 0.98
00:28:49.000 I'll go like days and not remember a fucking dream. 0.97
00:28:52.000 And then I'll do some Alpha Brain or something. 0.99
00:28:55.000 And somehow or another, I'll catch a dream.
00:28:57.000 I'll catch a good one that I remember.
00:28:59.000 And then I'll start remembering a bunch of them. 0.98
00:29:01.000 Dude, I had a fucking alpha brain dream where I was in a garden. 0.98
00:29:07.000 I was standing in this primordial garden and there was like fucking all these weird like silvery golden apples floating up in the trees. 0.99
00:29:18.000 And I held this like weird silver mirror underneath it and it made – what the fuck are those? 0.98
00:29:24.000 Brian, what are you giving me this for? 0.97
00:29:25.000 Why are you giving me rubbers?
00:29:28.000 That's my emergency pack.
00:29:29.000 That's actually what they sell now.
00:29:30.000 They sell, like, a condom with a guy pill and a girl pill together.
00:29:34.000 So you give the girl the pill, and then you take your pill. 1.00
00:29:37.000 You wait, like, an hour, and it's, like, raging boners and vibrating vaginas. 1.00
00:29:41.000 What? 0.99
00:29:41.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:29:42.000 What does the girl pill do? 0.99
00:29:44.000 The girl I always wish said that it just made her vagina feel, like, really tingly. 1.00
00:29:49.000 Huh. 1.00
00:29:50.000 Crazy.
00:29:51.000 I didn't even know there was a girl pill.
00:29:52.000 Yeah, that's...
00:29:53.000 Well...
00:29:54.000 That's my emergency packs that I keep in my car.
00:29:57.000 But the other one's for five days.
00:30:00.000 This is the one that is a cheap one. 1.00
00:30:05.000 Your dick's going to blow up. 1.00
00:30:06.000 It's made entirely of wandering spiders. 1.00
00:30:09.000 Your dick's going to explode. 1.00
00:30:16.000 Mega Knight and it's a Magnum Con, of course. 1.00
00:30:18.000 Yeah, of course, because you've got a big giant dick, right? 1.00
00:30:20.000 No, it's because this pill makes you have a big giant dick. 1.00
00:30:23.000 But you have a big giant dick anyway. 1.00
00:30:24.000 No, I don't. 1.00
00:30:25.000 It's a pretty decent size.
00:30:26.000 No, it's just a little bit of average.
00:30:27.000 The girth is what's really good about it.
00:30:32.000 Chicks say that's very important. 1.00
00:30:34.000 You can have a shorter dick as long as you stretch out a little bit more. 1.00
00:30:38.000 What's the hook also? 1.00
00:30:39.000 I've always put my boner underneath my belt my whole life.
00:30:42.000 Like, so it's like, you know, facing my head, like, straight up. 0.58
00:30:45.000 So you smash it with your belt?
00:30:46.000 So I've been smashing it and, like, bending it towards my face the whole time.
00:30:49.000 When you were a child?
00:30:50.000 Yeah.
00:30:51.000 Like, I still do it.
00:30:52.000 Like, whenever I have a boner, I just put it behind my belt.
00:30:54.000 And then sometimes I forget about it too long and it hurts. 1.00
00:30:56.000 So you're, like, stretching your dick out the way those African ladies do with their neck and those rings? 1.00
00:31:01.000 Well, it points it towards your own face. 1.00
00:31:02.000 It makes it bend and grow towards your own face.
00:31:05.000 I don't think so.
00:31:05.000 That's an urban myth, son.
00:31:07.000 That's just the shape your dick's born with. 1.00
00:31:09.000 Some people are born with curvy-ass dicks. 1.00
00:31:11.000 The only thing that it would really do is trauma. 1.00
00:31:14.000 You can get a broken dick. 0.99
00:31:15.000 There's a dude named Ray Elby who is an MMA fighter who posted a picture of a bunch of blood and some shit and told a story on the underground. 1.00
00:31:25.000 A girl got on top and she just landed on his dick and broke his dick and started bleeding. 1.00
00:31:30.000 It can happen apparently. 1.00
00:31:32.000 That can give your dick a funky right hook. 1.00
00:31:36.000 Have you sprained your dick from having- like I sprained my dick recently where it hurt for like three days. 1.00
00:31:40.000 Owie, don't let crazy bitches get on top. 1.00
00:31:42.000 You gotta control the situation, son. 1.00
00:31:44.000 Yeah, it was- Don't let anybody breaking your dick because they're on ecstasy and they fucking think this is an awesome song. 1.00
00:31:53.000 Yeah, a girl can do a lot of damage if she slips. 1.00
00:31:58.000 She fell on it wrong.
00:31:59.000 She taints you.
00:32:00.000 She taints you right on the crown. 1.00
00:32:04.000 Right the bone on your dick. 1.00
00:32:06.000 Especially if she's got some good fucking thigh muscles. 1.00
00:32:09.000 Maybe she plays volleyball or something. 1.00
00:32:11.000 Good at jumping.
00:32:14.000 Duncan, I was listening to your podcast the other day, and you said that you've only had sex on the road once.
00:32:19.000 Like, you don't take advantage of the club.
00:32:23.000 I've seen it. 0.94
00:32:23.000 I saw a beautiful, crazy girl trying to get Duncan to sleep with her. 0.94
00:32:28.000 Are you not a horny sex maniac? 1.00
00:32:31.000 No, no, no, man. 1.00
00:32:31.000 You know, I get really fucking horny, but I'm like... 1.00
00:32:37.000 Well, there's two things. 0.93
00:32:39.000 One, I tend to have a girlfriend, and I'm monogamous, so that's one thing.
00:32:44.000 But when that's not happening, then generally there's this – it's like I really get in my head about it.
00:32:51.000 And so I think about – I overthink it.
00:32:54.000 Like I'm way in my head about everything.
00:32:56.000 Like I live in my head most of the time.
00:32:58.000 And when you live in – there's good things about living in your head. 0.99
00:33:02.000 But when it comes to fucking – And jumping into this primal animalistic state that creates the best sexual experience where you just let go and it's more difficult to me, especially out on the fucking road. 1.00
00:33:16.000 Because I consider the lead up to it and I consider the follow, like after you fuck, You know what I mean? 1.00
00:33:26.000 And it's like – because porn is the ultimate. 1.00
00:33:28.000 Because with porn, you jerk off to porn and that's it. 1.00
00:33:32.000 You don't have to like walk porn to the door. 0.99
00:33:33.000 You don't have to like have a – like porn, it's done.
00:33:36.000 It's not going to call you up. 0.99
00:33:38.000 Like porn that you've looked at is not going to call you up and be like, I'm fucking pregnant. 1.00
00:33:43.000 Right. 0.99
00:33:43.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:33:44.000 It's just done.
00:33:45.000 And so you just get this middle thing.
00:33:47.000 When you watch porn, you don't see the beginning. 0.99
00:33:49.000 You don't see what happens right before the porn shoot or, God forbid, 10 years, the girl walking in on her dad fucking a dog or something or getting fingered by her uncle. 1.00
00:34:01.000 You just see this incredible, beautiful, primal moment of fucking. 0.99
00:34:04.000 And you don't see afterwards, after the porn shoot. 0.99
00:34:07.000 You know what I mean?
00:34:08.000 That weird moment in the car driving back from a porn shoot. 0.98
00:34:12.000 You know, you wipe a little jizz out of your hair. 0.81
00:34:15.000 You know, that whole thing, you just get that one burst, right? 0.98
00:34:18.000 So on the road, it's like fucking on the road, it seems like there's a lot of pitfalls there and a lot of weird dangers. 0.93
00:34:25.000 It's a lot more than just like, you know, what would be in a 70s movie. 0.98
00:34:30.000 But like I said, I think too much.
00:34:32.000 You know what I mean?
00:34:33.000 I'm clearly overthinking it.
00:34:37.000 Satanists are all about doing that stuff.
00:34:39.000 You know, I had a friend who was a Satanist and he said that in life, and I remember it was really, it's really rough when a Satanist says something that seems like absolutely true.
00:34:50.000 But he's like, you know, this is coming from a guy with Lucifer tattooed on his chest.
00:34:55.000 But he said, you know, in life.
00:34:58.000 He said, hell, hell is not some place where you burn forever.
00:35:04.000 Hell is that moment that you're dying. 1.00
00:35:07.000 That moment when you're at your deathbed or you're in the car, you're sitting in the car, wherever the fuck you are. 0.99
00:35:12.000 You're dying and your mind goes back and thinks about all those opportunities you had to experience life to the fullest. 0.99
00:35:20.000 All those chances you had to dive into life and suck the marrow out of life and you did not have fear. 0.53
00:35:27.000 That's hell.
00:35:28.000 Now, that was coming from...
00:35:30.000 No, hell's way worse than that. 0.99
00:35:32.000 Because that, you could just jerk off and take a nap if that's what your life is. 0.99
00:35:36.000 That's not that bad. 0.92
00:35:38.000 What do you mean?
00:35:39.000 Being disappointed in life is not as bad as being tortured by Mongols. 1.00
00:35:43.000 That's what I mean.
00:35:44.000 Well, I mean, he was saying hell doesn't exist. 0.97
00:35:45.000 You know, the whole Christian idea of hell is nonsense. 1.00
00:35:48.000 That the only real hell, since there is no hell, absolutely, if there was obviously, if there was a real Christian hell where demons fly down and put their balls in your mouth and like slice you into bits every five minutes. 1.00
00:35:57.000 Wouldn't you be surprised if there actually was? 0.99
00:36:00.000 A hell? 0.99
00:36:01.000 How fucked up would that be? 0.99
00:36:02.000 If there was a hell? 0.99
00:36:03.000 If hell was real. 1.00
00:36:05.000 I mean think about how fucking stupid you would feel. 1.00
00:36:08.000 If you were actually, like, being confronted by demons, they were flaying your eternal soul, they'd be like, motherfucker, I can't believe it! 1.00
00:36:16.000 They warned me! 1.00
00:36:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:36:18.000 Can you imagine how crazy it would be if you got down there and there was a devil?
00:36:23.000 Some dude, he's got goat horns, like, ha ha ha!
00:36:25.000 You did not believe!
00:36:27.000 Now you suffer!
00:36:29.000 They just start ripping you apart piece by piece over and over again and they put you back together again for eternity.
00:36:35.000 Well, see, this is the funny thing about hell, man.
00:36:38.000 When you want to really get into the hell talk or the hell trip.
00:36:41.000 I know people who've had hell trips.
00:36:42.000 You've probably never had the hell trip.
00:36:44.000 Like they bad tripped and felt like they were in hell?
00:36:46.000 Where you start thinking like...
00:36:48.000 I mean, because look, when we're talking about hell, we're talking about a torture chamber created by...
00:36:54.000 Obviously, I do not believe this, but if we're talking about hell, it's a torture chamber created by the creator of the known universe.
00:37:01.000 So it is the most advanced torture chamber that could possibly exist because it's created by the most advanced being.
00:37:07.000 Psychotic in this case, but the most advanced being.
00:37:10.000 So in a real torture chamber, your means of torture are not going to be so obvious.
00:37:15.000 It's like...
00:37:16.000 Burning fire and it burns your skin.
00:37:19.000 The first thing you'd want people to think is that they're not in a torture chamber.
00:37:23.000 You'd want them to think that there's some hope, some hope for peace.
00:37:28.000 As long as they were hoping for peace and thinking that there was going to be some moment of tranquility, it would increase their levels of disappointment to the maximum.
00:37:36.000 So that's the hell trip. 0.99
00:37:37.000 The hell trip is where you start thinking like, oh shit, this is it. 1.00
00:37:40.000 This is hell. 0.99
00:37:42.000 We've been – this is the ultimate torture device devised by some maniacal, insane god that everyone has popped into and instead of like remembering where they're at, they're just like, oh no, this is totally normal.
00:37:56.000 I got to go through traffic in the morning.
00:37:58.000 Got to go through three-hour commutes.
00:38:01.000 You know what I mean?
00:38:02.000 That's hell.
00:38:03.000 You don't even know you're there.
00:38:04.000 You don't even know you're there.
00:38:05.000 Maybe slowly you start – I don't think that by the way.
00:38:08.000 The opposite works too. 1.00
00:38:09.000 You can also think that this is heaven and you're just too dumb to see it. 0.83
00:38:13.000 You get to – you can pick with those two different like mythological constructs. 0.72
00:38:18.000 Or just abandon those ideas and just deal with the present because it's the only thing you really know.
00:38:24.000 And we do know that when you live in hell, like when we use that, oh, that guy lives in hell.
00:38:29.000 Yeah. 0.96
00:38:29.000 It's a series of shitty choices, a bad circumstance, bad luck, a combination of all the above. 0.96
00:38:37.000 And most of the time when you use that term, a guy lives in hell, you're talking about a guy who's under someone's thumb. 0.54
00:38:45.000 Whether it's whether he works for some crazy company, you know, that, you know, demands him working 16 hours a day and his weekends.
00:38:56.000 And, you know, there's a lot of guys that live in hell that are like executives at studios and stuff like that.
00:39:00.000 Like those are crazy ass jobs, you know, working in, you know, I mean, I'm sure like stock market along those lines, like anything financial, there's probably a lot of people that are forced to work. 0.99
00:39:11.000 Crazy fucking hours, right? 0.99
00:39:13.000 That's right. 0.99
00:39:14.000 And if you have real restrictive work conditions, you have to wear a suit and tie, you have to fucking be very formal around the office, nobody can fuck around, nobody can relax. 0.98
00:39:23.000 All day. 0.97
00:39:24.000 Most of your day is just buttoned up and locked down.
00:39:27.000 Yeah, man.
00:39:29.000 That's definitely one version of when you hear people say that they're in hell.
00:39:33.000 But still, you know, there's this idea.
00:39:36.000 You know, Krishnamurti?
00:39:37.000 You ever heard of Krishnamurti?
00:39:38.000 No.
00:39:38.000 Jay Krishnamurti?
00:39:39.000 Who is that?
00:39:40.000 He's this philosopher, the Indian philosopher, who was like this kid who was discovered by the theosophists and the theosophists were this strange spiritual group.
00:39:49.000 I don't know a lot about them but they – Madame Blatavsky was the woman's name.
00:39:53.000 But they spotted this Indian kid at the beach and one of them was like his aura is amazing or something and they sort of took this kid in and groomed this child and he eventually became this brilliant philosopher and as part of his like evolution turned his back on theosophy and said it's – that's not – it's more – he got really into the idea of being in the moment.
00:40:17.000 And I actually, on one of my podcasts, I put an awesome sound clip of him talking about how the past, you carry the past with you.
00:40:25.000 The past is in you right now.
00:40:27.000 It doesn't exist.
00:40:28.000 There's no past.
00:40:29.000 There's just your encoded memories of things that have happened.
00:40:32.000 And the future is something you create through everything that you do, but there's no future either.
00:40:38.000 It's like you're this packet, like a DNA packet, the way their DNA sort of spawns a specific type of cell.
00:40:47.000 What you do with what you carry around with you in every single moment spawns your reality around you, which is why people who, you know, you always will run into people like, I don't know why this always happens to me.
00:40:59.000 I always get dumped.
00:41:00.000 I just don't understand it.
00:41:01.000 I always get dumped or I always end up in this predicament or that predicament.
00:41:06.000 Well, the reason is you're like a caterpillar.
00:41:08.000 Or a silkworm and you're spinning your reality with every action that you do because that's all there is.
00:41:14.000 It's just this moment. 0.99
00:41:16.000 So you end up with a shit boss and you've ended up there just because you've been deluded by your perception of time. 1.00
00:41:24.000 You know, that's the fucking trick. 1.00
00:41:26.000 Because people listening to this have a shit boss, shit wife, shit girlfriend, shit husband, shit whatever. 1.00
00:41:31.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:41:32.000 In this awesome sound clip, J. Krishnamurti says, the only thing that you can do is right now at this moment make a radical psychological change in your apprehension of the universe.
00:41:45.000 At this moment. 0.99
00:41:46.000 At this moment, we're the shit boss. 1.00
00:41:48.000 With whatever. 0.99
00:41:49.000 It takes this radical, like, you have to break free of everything you've been taught.
00:41:53.000 Because we've all been taught to think that there's a future.
00:41:56.000 And we've all been taught to think there's a past.
00:41:59.000 There's also an issue that people have that this narrative has been sort of spelled out for us by our parents.
00:42:05.000 And then as we get old enough, when we get into our 20s or in our 30s, we really understand it.
00:42:11.000 We're like, oh my god, they were just clueless folks, just like we are.
00:42:15.000 Like, the idea that anybody had a handle on how to do this right.
00:42:20.000 And then you just look at the fact that these people, I mean, your parents and my parents, Are from a generation where they got to our age before there was an internet.
00:42:31.000 I mean, they're literally, they're different human beings.
00:42:35.000 It's a completely different style of human being.
00:42:38.000 It's human being one, we're human being two.
00:42:42.000 And this human being three that are being born right now that will only know insane levels of technological proficiency from the time that they're aware when they're three or four till they're dead when it's insane.
00:42:57.000 That's right.
00:42:58.000 This is the strangest times of all.
00:43:03.000 No one knows how to run it now.
00:43:05.000 No one knows how to figure this out.
00:43:07.000 The more information keeps coming in, the weirder things start getting, the fucking meteors landing in Russia, the fact that no one even saw those coming, and that there was a giant asteroid that...
00:43:19.000 Whipped overhead within a day of that. 0.92
00:43:23.000 Yes.
00:43:23.000 And it was inside the outer band of satellites.
00:43:26.000 There's a lot of weirdness to this world that we live in that we're just not taking into consideration at all.
00:43:34.000 Right. 1.00
00:43:35.000 Well, fuck yeah, man. 0.99
00:43:36.000 And generally with people, that thing where we just don't think about the – as a species, we are living in the same way a modern individual lives. 1.00
00:43:47.000 A species as a whole is living in a state of delusion.
00:43:51.000 The species as a whole is pretending that the most important thing is solving whatever little religious war or territory-based war or economic problem.
00:44:04.000 They think that's the most important thing and the way we're living as a species is all based on the notion of there being the individual instead of the totality of the race.
00:44:13.000 So this way of living is one of denial.
00:44:17.000 So the human race right now exists on a planet where we blow each other up every single day, fight these ridiculous wars, fight against each other, and completely ignore the fact that we are floating in the void. 0.98
00:44:30.000 And this planet, on the regs, on the regs, gets smashed by fucking meteors. 0.97
00:44:36.000 Now, why the fuck would we not, you know, be doing the obvious thing, which would be in this situation, if the first thing you would do is figure out, okay, let's come up with a foolproof way to control meteors. 0.99
00:44:47.000 Then we'll fight. 0.98
00:44:49.000 Then let's fight the wars.
00:44:50.000 There might not be one.
00:44:51.000 And not only that, a lot of these asteroids that they're picking up, they're coming in from amateur astronomers, like a good percentage of them.
00:44:59.000 Oh yeah, I know, but that- There's not that many professionals watching the sky.
00:45:03.000 Well, this is the whole thing where they say like one month of, you know, we stopped one month of war in Afghanistan.
00:45:09.000 You know that number, right?
00:45:11.000 If you stopped war for one month in Afghanistan, you could pay for everybody in the United States to go to college for free. 0.55
00:45:18.000 It's some kind of crazy number.
00:45:19.000 Now, that number might be two months.
00:45:21.000 So in the same way, if you consider that, you know what I mean?
00:45:24.000 I'm saying as a species, our priorities are a little weird.
00:45:28.000 And as an individual, you know, people in the same way, they spend most of their time ignoring the fact that there's a subjective meteor that's guaranteed going to smash into your life at some point, which is old age, disease, and death.
00:45:42.000 There's no way around it.
00:45:43.000 So people spend their time ignoring that fact as well.
00:45:47.000 It makes sense in a way. 0.96
00:45:50.000 I mean thinking about it's so fucking intense. 0.88
00:45:53.000 It's a lot easier to worry about your own personal problems, the little things. 0.80
00:45:58.000 Yeah, I want to find this military budget cut thing if that's true.
00:46:05.000 That one month of the military budget if you cut it out.
00:46:08.000 Yeah.
00:46:10.000 It wouldn't surprise me.
00:46:12.000 Just find out what the yearly military budget is, you know? 0.97
00:46:15.000 It's like, look, this is the fucking thing that Neil deGrasse Tyson posts, which is like the picture of the meteor or whatever, and this is why we need to work, you know? 0.95
00:46:24.000 This is why we need to work on the space program. 0.99
00:46:26.000 What the fuck can we do? 0.96
00:46:27.000 You know what I also think? 0.99
00:46:28.000 I think that school should be free.
00:46:30.000 I think we should be paying for whatever it is, college, high school, everything.
00:46:36.000 I think school should be free, always.
00:46:38.000 I think it should be free, and it should be encouraged, and we should pay for it with our taxes. 0.92
00:46:44.000 You know, I would rather pay for fucking Like a really high-level school that kids could go to even if they were poor. 0.99
00:46:51.000 I would way rather pay for that than pay for more military bullshit, more drones. 1.00
00:46:57.000 Absolutely. 0.99
00:46:58.000 Drones above – I mean you could do that.
00:47:01.000 That could be something that could be done.
00:47:03.000 Sure.
00:47:03.000 I mean that's the thing.
00:47:05.000 It can't be done as long as we're confused as a species into thinking that there are – Religions that are more important than religions or countries that are more important than other countries or people that are more important than other people.
00:47:17.000 As long as we're stuck in that modality, well, then we're never going to fucking wake up to the fact that we have to shift, you know? 0.79
00:47:24.000 And it's saying this stuff, you know, suddenly you sound like you're singing goddamn a John Lennon song, but it's like... 1.00
00:47:29.000 That fucking him. 1.00
00:47:31.000 That motherfucker. 1.00
00:47:31.000 The only problem I have with John Lennon is he was banging Yoko Ono. 1.00
00:47:34.000 I'm like, Jesus, dude, you're John Lennon.
00:47:36.000 Don't hate.
00:47:37.000 Don't hate. 1.00
00:47:38.000 Don't hate that sweet, wild Asian hippie pussy. 1.00
00:47:42.000 We've shown you the video of John Lennon with Chuck Berry singing when Yoko Ono starts screaming into the microphone. 1.00
00:47:48.000 Like, aya, aya, aya!
00:47:49.000 Bill Burr does this bit on it.
00:47:51.000 If you haven't heard this, you have to see it on YouTube.
00:47:54.000 Go find it on YouTube.
00:47:55.000 Bill Burr, Chuck Berry, Yoko Ono. 0.98
00:47:59.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.98
00:48:01.000 But back then, wasn't Asians more rare? 0.98
00:48:04.000 It was almost like dating a Because all the war and stuff like that weren't easy to find.
00:48:11.000 She's a ding-a-ling. 1.00
00:48:13.000 It's like dating a red panda.
00:48:15.000 It's not that important that a person's race.
00:48:18.000 It's not that important. 1.00
00:48:19.000 It's like, who the fuck are they? 1.00
00:48:21.000 That chick's a loon. 1.00
00:48:23.000 Yeah, but that was probably so in back then.
00:48:25.000 I can't hate that.
00:48:27.000 That's what he loved.
00:48:29.000 I don't blame him.
00:48:31.000 It's the only thing that I disagree with him on.
00:48:33.000 Everything else, I think he was brilliant.
00:48:35.000 He's pretty brilliant, man.
00:48:36.000 I don't think anybody ever gets the whole package correct.
00:48:39.000 Well, no, man.
00:48:40.000 Not in one run.
00:48:44.000 How do you know if this is your life?
00:48:45.000 I'm an old soul.
00:48:47.000 Everybody always says that.
00:48:49.000 I think I've been around before.
00:48:51.000 I think I've had many lives.
00:48:54.000 No one ever goes, I think.
00:48:55.000 I was a rabbit in the last life.
00:48:59.000 This is my first time as a person.
00:49:02.000 It's nice to be on board.
00:49:04.000 No, everybody is, I'm an old soul.
00:49:07.000 Well, yeah, there are a lot of people, a lot of Cleopatras out there, a lot of Cleopatras. 0.99
00:49:11.000 Everybody in their past life was doing something awesome.
00:49:14.000 Yeah. 0.96
00:49:15.000 Yeah, no shit. 1.00
00:49:17.000 No one ever finds out they were just homeless, just losers, shitting on themselves, sucking dick for homemade wine. 1.00
00:49:23.000 Oh man, that would be so fucking great to be able to like remember all those things. 1.00
00:49:30.000 It'd be so great just to know, you know, in the way they can do your DNA tests and they're like, whoa, you're like, you know, partially Scottish and there's some Native American in there. 0.93
00:49:39.000 It'd be so cool to like analyze all your particles and be like, oh yes, 4% of you came from the Alpha Centauri star cluster and the other 2% came from the Alpha Centauri star cluster.
00:49:48.000 You know what I mean?
00:49:49.000 It'd be super cool to know, like, just the various star particulates that you're comprised of would be incredible.
00:49:55.000 Or animals, like, you're 7% cat.
00:49:57.000 I heard this, and I'm not sure if it's correct, so there's a disclaimer before I talk about it, but they were talking about... 0.98
00:50:08.000 Fuck, I can't remember this now. 0.97
00:50:11.000 I'm trying to... 1.00
00:50:14.000 It's too weird.
00:50:15.000 I'll get back to it.
00:50:16.000 I'll get back to it.
00:50:18.000 I'm trying to remember how it goes.
00:50:20.000 I don't want to fuck this up.
00:50:21.000 I'm going to look it up and make sure that I get it right.
00:50:23.000 What about that Clint Tarantino video?
00:50:25.000 Before that, what were we just talking about just before that?
00:50:27.000 We're talking about tracing your weird DNA back, and I don't know.
00:50:31.000 I can't remember how he got there.
00:50:32.000 Oh, that's what it was.
00:50:36.000 I don't know if this is true, but they believe that within the next 100 years, they will have a computer that is powerful enough.
00:50:46.000 You ready for this?
00:50:48.000 We're good to go.
00:51:13.000 And that computers will be so powerful that from seeing what exists now and knowing the amount of time the Earth has existed, the computer will be able to paint you an incredibly accurate, absolute simulation of every single action in its form,
00:51:31.000 including whatever words you said, to a girlfriend when you were pissed about that it's all just one gigantic equation every time you hit your horn at a red light every time you said fuck yeah when highway to hell came on all those things You could literally know everything that happened based on everything that exists.
00:51:55.000 Well, this is that, yeah... 0.78
00:51:56.000 You say it doesn't seem possible, but I don't...
00:51:58.000 Well, your fart theory comes into effect.
00:52:00.000 How do we know if you farted or not?
00:52:02.000 Well, this is the idea, but you're not really totally paying attention.
00:52:05.000 I know what you mean.
00:52:05.000 I was just kidding.
00:52:06.000 Okay.
00:52:07.000 The idea is that when you can have...
00:52:11.000 There's these things that they're coming up with and they're almost like the size of a large grain of sand or smaller than a grain of rice.
00:52:21.000 And they can take photographs, video, they can send images, Wi-Fi wirelessly.
00:52:27.000 They can also have a GPS locator that tells you exactly where they are.
00:52:31.000 So essentially you can have a data bank of cameras with dust.
00:52:36.000 You can spray dust over a city, okay?
00:52:39.000 These little powder things, they'd be everywhere. 0.98
00:52:41.000 You'd never clean them all up.
00:52:42.000 And you would essentially have a rough picture of everything that's going on all the time.
00:52:48.000 Yes.
00:52:49.000 Once you got to that point, you could get an accurate account of everything that exists on the earth.
00:52:55.000 All the water, all the...
00:52:56.000 I mean, it's not outside the realm of possibility.
00:52:58.000 If we can measure right now in our crude technological way where 200 years ago we were riding animals and we didn't have cars...
00:53:05.000 You couldn't take pictures.
00:53:06.000 Within 200 years, we could do that.
00:53:08.000 We can tell you how many acres something is.
00:53:11.000 We can tell you we can do a radio frequency test or whatever the fuck they do to find out what's in the ground, what the soil's made out of.
00:53:19.000 We can get a pretty rough account of what we've got around us.
00:53:23.000 Well, if they can get to a point where they can literally tell you everything that exists and have it calculated, Everything that exists in this form on Earth right now and know how long and know what we know about human history and put it all into account and be able to actually see a recreation of everything that's ever happened.
00:53:42.000 Here's the thing that the one little piece you're missing here, it's so funny you're saying this because I got super stoned in Vancouver and started thinking about something like this, but here's the thing you're missing.
00:53:52.000 Yes!
00:53:53.000 But you know what that is you just described? 0.98
00:53:55.000 That's a fucking time machine when you add one more component to it, which is a neurological interface that instead of it like you watching, it places you inside of the recreation. 0.97
00:54:04.000 So now you're able to zoom backwards through this like simulated past reality based on like, well, if this happened before this, we can figure out what happened before that. 0.99
00:54:14.000 And there was – there would be a kind of rate of entropy too based on like the further back you got, the less accurate your prediction of things that happened would be it seems like.
00:54:25.000 You wouldn't be – I don't think you'd be able to perfectly … Yeah, you wouldn't be able to do smell because there's no smell technology that would know all the kinds of smell like apple pie and stuff like that.
00:54:33.000 Well, maybe it could simulate.
00:54:34.000 Maybe it could like … That's actually kind of a good point.
00:54:36.000 That's what your fart theory is.
00:54:37.000 That's what I was talking about.
00:54:37.000 Well, what I'm basing it on though is events and like things that have caused like why.
00:54:44.000 You ever go to the Big Island?
00:54:46.000 You ever been to the Big Island?
00:54:47.000 The Big Island is actually the least populated.
00:54:50.000 It's less populated than Oahu or Maui.
00:54:53.000 But a big one half of a side of it is all lava fields.
00:54:58.000 It's all just like you know that that fucking thing exploded like recently like within the last who knows how many hundred years whatever and there's lava like rock all over the place if you could you could accurately say okay well this lava has been around for 150 years and before that it was pastures and they actually have photos of it you know you could have like the locals describe what happened when in 1820 the lava came over the top and covered the town we can get sort of a pretty decent picture Based on stuff
00:55:28.000 like that.
00:55:28.000 I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that they can get a totally accurate picture of history.
00:55:34.000 Oh wait, here's the other part I forgot.
00:55:36.000 This is another piece of technology that you need.
00:55:39.000 Based on the idea that you have this insanely advanced computer, right?
00:55:43.000 Right.
00:55:44.000 And the idea that they could, you know, what they're doing with the Human Genome Project, somehow they finally pull that off with the human brain.
00:55:50.000 So that you could start doing brain scans and gather people's memories together.
00:55:55.000 That's the other piece of it.
00:55:56.000 So then what you end up having is instead of just having these particulates that scan the geographical makeup of the planet, you also have somehow the ability to absorb the memories and the actual memories of human beings.
00:56:13.000 Could you imagine though if somebody else had to go and access your memories? 0.95
00:56:18.000 You'd be like, what the fuck am I looking at? 1.00
00:56:21.000 Like, it's just like blurry legs and, you know, some girl's butt where she shows it to you. 1.00
00:56:29.000 You know, a TV show that you barely can remember the plot. 0.99
00:56:33.000 I mean, how fucking accurate is your memory? 0.98
00:56:36.000 I mean, the idea of tapping into your memories and then putting it on, you'd be watching like the most retarded animated GIF file ever. 1.00
00:56:42.000 That's what it would be.
00:56:44.000 It's just like, bang, voom, bang, voom.
00:56:45.000 Here's where it gets really crazy.
00:56:47.000 It would be like a fine video.
00:56:48.000 It's fine.
00:56:48.000 But it would be a little longer and blurrier.
00:56:51.000 It would be way blurrier.
00:56:52.000 That's so true, man.
00:56:53.000 That's a funny thing you're saying.
00:56:54.000 That's like an existentialist idea.
00:56:56.000 That's an existential idea, which is this idea of our actual lives, when you consider your POV, are so the opposite of movies and so the opposite of the construct of some beginning and some ending and some middle place.
00:57:10.000 It really is just this blur of, like, coffee's going in the mouth.
00:57:13.000 Yeah.
00:57:14.000 Yeah, turn the radio.
00:57:15.000 You know, it's like significant moments come afterwards.
00:57:20.000 You like sort of decide the significant moments and that's what you relate.
00:57:23.000 But there's far more moments of just driving in between those significant moments or walking or like – it is a blur.
00:57:32.000 Human existence is mostly just a blur.
00:57:35.000 Memory is a blur.
00:57:36.000 Memory is very sketchy.
00:57:38.000 That's why people like Neil deGrasse Tyson gets out of jury duty and says he doesn't trust eyewitness testimony.
00:57:44.000 Right.
00:57:44.000 And they're like, get out of here.
00:57:46.000 But he's right.
00:57:47.000 It's been shown to be wrong.
00:57:49.000 I mean, people have gone to jail because of false eyewitness testimony.
00:57:53.000 That's all he says?
00:57:54.000 Yeah.
00:57:55.000 The people who are testifying were absolutely convinced that they were right, but they were wrong.
00:57:59.000 And the wrong people went to jail.
00:58:00.000 It's been proven.
00:58:01.000 It happens. 0.97
00:58:03.000 Especially when you're under stressful situations, who knows what the fuck you're seeing, what you remember. 0.76
00:58:08.000 I think a lot of these Bigfoot sightings and wild animal sightings, I bet there's a lot to that as well. 0.83
00:58:17.000 I think when you're in a stressful situation, something freaks you out, whether it's a bear or something, all of a sudden that bear becomes Bigfoot. 0.98
00:58:23.000 The bear runs off, and you're like, it was fucking Bigfoot, man. 0.98
00:58:25.000 I swear to God, it was Bigfoot. 0.99
00:58:27.000 Meanwhile, it's midnight in the middle of Columbus, Ohio woods. 0.99
00:58:31.000 You can't see shit out there. 0.99
00:58:32.000 How the fuck do you know if it's Bigfoot? 1.00
00:58:34.000 Yay, Columbus. 0.99
00:58:35.000 Powerful Columbus this weekend.
00:58:37.000 You know what I'm saying, Duncan?
00:58:38.000 Yeah, I do know what you're saying, man.
00:58:40.000 Can't trust eyewitness testimony.
00:58:42.000 If I got a hold of your memories, I'd be like, but Duncan, what did you do to that baby?
00:58:47.000 You'd be like, no, dude, that was a doll!
00:58:49.000 I got a video in my mind of a baby getting waterboarded.
00:58:54.000 It wouldn't be so exciting.
00:58:56.000 I think it'd just be murky.
00:58:59.000 What if they found out that waterboarding only works on babies?
00:59:02.000 And Little Esther.
00:59:03.000 That would be incredible if you waterboard babies and they start coughing up information. 1.00
00:59:06.000 They just tell you everything they know.
00:59:08.000 In different languages.
00:59:10.000 I like poopy.
00:59:11.000 I like carrots.
00:59:12.000 Would we support waterboarding?
00:59:14.000 If you could interrogate babies and find out what happened before they were born, I think it'd be worth a try.
00:59:20.000 We know Alex Jones believes that Zero Dark Thirty was a government propaganda film supporting terrorism.
00:59:27.000 That's not how they got that information.
00:59:30.000 It's a lie.
00:59:34.000 Yeah, man.
00:59:35.000 Yeah, you can't torture babies for information. 1.00
00:59:38.000 No Geneva Convention is going to allow that shit. 0.99
00:59:40.000 Do they even have a Geneva Convention anymore? 1.00
00:59:42.000 It's like a Geneva flea market now.
00:59:45.000 Oh my god, the Geneva Convention.
00:59:47.000 Yeah, what is that?
00:59:47.000 That goes against the Geneva Convention!
00:59:49.000 Yeah, that was like a big thing in movies, right?
00:59:52.000 Always.
00:59:52.000 When someone was doing something bad, they're going against the Geneva Convention.
00:59:55.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:59:56.000 Yeah, that's a significant thing.
00:59:58.000 It's like the Constitution.
00:59:59.000 It's generally the criminal knows the Geneva Convention.
01:00:02.000 It's like, you can't do this because of the Geneva Convention.
01:00:04.000 Then he gets left off the hook.
01:00:05.000 The Geneva Convention.
01:00:07.000 The Geneva Convention.
01:00:08.000 Yeah, we need a 2013, we made it past the Mayans Convention.
01:00:13.000 Yes.
01:00:13.000 Just get together and go, listen.
01:00:16.000 Let's look at this realistically.
01:00:18.000 Wouldn't that be great? 0.98
01:00:19.000 Wouldn't that just be fucking great? 0.99
01:00:21.000 That's what I love fantasizing about, man. 0.99
01:00:23.000 I love fucking thinking about that. 0.97
01:00:25.000 That thing that finally happens when everything just... 0.99
01:00:28.000 We finally turn away from these ridiculous... 0.99
01:00:32.000 Our addiction to leaders. 0.99
01:00:35.000 You know what I mean?
01:00:36.000 And we turn away from our addiction to matter and then... 0.99
01:00:39.000 God damn it, man. 0.99
01:00:41.000 It'd be so fucking awesome. 0.99
01:00:42.000 We could really, we could whip, I bet if all of humanity just started working on it right now, together, we could whip up a spaceship that would probably travel, I bet we could have a light speed traveling spaceship in 10 years.
01:00:55.000 I think one of the reasons why this podcast resonates so much with people is the conversations that we have sometimes where this is not an alien way of thinking.
01:01:07.000 This is a really smart way of thinking.
01:01:10.000 It makes sense.
01:01:11.000 And it seems like it would be beneficial to all, including the people that are in power. 1.00
01:01:16.000 But if you hear that, if you hear someone saying something like that, you automatically assume that they're a fucking loon. 0.99
01:01:24.000 Yeah, I know. 0.99
01:01:25.000 You're not allowed to say these things.
01:01:27.000 There's just some basic truths, though.
01:01:29.000 And when you say them, people will definitely get weirded out.
01:01:32.000 When you do say the truth, the truth is continents weren't named that.
01:01:38.000 They've only been named that for a very short time.
01:01:41.000 North America was not North America 2,000 years ago.
01:01:47.000 You know what I mean?
01:01:48.000 So that's number one.
01:01:50.000 Number one is the names that we've given these things are not the real names.
01:01:52.000 Number two is...
01:01:53.000 When you say that this is this country, well, it is right now.
01:01:59.000 You think it's going to be this country in 500 years?
01:02:02.000 But for a lot of people, it doesn't matter because it is right now. 1.00
01:02:05.000 It gives them, like, look, I'm a fucking American. 1.00
01:02:10.000 Back off. 1.00
01:02:11.000 I'm an American.
01:02:11.000 Keep my Second Amendment rights.
01:02:13.000 Always, always weird.
01:02:14.000 This is what America is about.
01:02:16.000 Always weird.
01:02:16.000 But America is, in a lot of ways, about those people.
01:02:20.000 Because those people represent a large chunk of the population.
01:02:23.000 The people who want to keep their guns, the people that, you know, like NASCAR. And that's what they like.
01:02:29.000 As long as they're not criminals, as long as they pay taxes, America has to represent them.
01:02:33.000 And one of the ways, you gotta have some low-level patriotism type thing going on.
01:02:38.000 Well, America!
01:02:39.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:02:40.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
01:02:41.000 I mean, that's legit. 1.00
01:02:43.000 It works.
01:02:43.000 It gets people pumped up.
01:02:45.000 They like rooting for teams.
01:02:46.000 Well, right.
01:02:47.000 Ape-like people. 0.97
01:02:48.000 Ape-like people like tribal sort of things. 0.92
01:02:50.000 They love it. 0.99
01:02:51.000 And those teams are always fucking up. 0.99
01:02:53.000 And back in the fucking day, think about it. 0.99
01:02:55.000 There was a great team. 0.99
01:02:56.000 It was called the Christians and the Witches. 1.00
01:02:58.000 And they were incinerating fucking witches. 1.00
01:03:00.000 And that was also part of being an American at one time. 1.00
01:03:03.000 Burning the witches, having a slave, killing the Indians. 1.00
01:03:07.000 That's just like part of being a Catholic at one time was being an inquisitor. 1.00
01:03:11.000 You know what I mean?
01:03:12.000 It's always weird.
01:03:13.000 The team thing is great from a sentimental perspective and it's like, I get it.
01:03:17.000 You want to be an American?
01:03:18.000 Great.
01:03:19.000 You want to love the country?
01:03:20.000 Great.
01:03:20.000 I do love this country, but guess what?
01:03:22.000 I love fucking humans. 1.00
01:03:24.000 Do you know the story behind the latest theory of the witch trials? 1.00
01:03:29.000 Yeah, ergot, tripping balls. 0.98
01:03:33.000 The latest theory involves a premature frost. 0.98
01:03:39.000 They were growing wheat, apparently, and when they have a frost, when the plants freeze and then thaw out, sometimes they get weird funguses.
01:03:50.000 This one, they did some soil samples and they found that there was Sometime around that area, where they were doing the Salem witch trials, they had early frost.
01:04:05.000 I think they found evidence of this stuff, this ergot stuff.
01:04:08.000 It's very common, though, on wheat.
01:04:11.000 It's like acid.
01:04:13.000 It's basically very similar to taking acid.
01:04:16.000 That's awesome if that's true.
01:04:17.000 They're almost positive.
01:04:20.000 I mean, scientifically it all lines up because they know that it's happened before, that people have gotten wheat that's been poisoned by it and they've gotten sick and they've had hallucinations.
01:04:32.000 So if you've got a whole country or a whole city that's eating the wheat for who knows how long that's filled with ergot.
01:04:40.000 But there's some speculation as to whether or not it would be still psychoactive after you baked it.
01:04:45.000 I've seen people that disagree with it.
01:04:47.000 But in my opinion, I mean, it seems to be a likely candidate.
01:04:52.000 Well, there's also the thing where there was like an oppressive religious structure confusing people into thinking that there was a devil.
01:05:00.000 Yeah, it could just be a high-level percolation of crazy. 1.00
01:05:02.000 It could just be, let's burn witches, let's take this shit to the next level, bloop! 1.00
01:05:05.000 And then, you know, we gotta blame it on something. 1.00
01:05:08.000 Yeah.
01:05:08.000 Because, I mean, you look at the stuff that, I mean, people are getting burned as witches in Africa right now, and they're not...
01:05:14.000 There's no ergot?
01:05:14.000 There's no ergot, yeah.
01:05:15.000 Usually there's just a bunch of horny, angry guys who wanna fucking torch a bitch. 1.00
01:05:21.000 That's what it is, man. 1.00
01:05:22.000 And it's like, also, it's the bad version of what they call the patriarchy, too. 0.99
01:05:33.000 I mean, the fucking witch burnings were just the same as us killing the Indians in a different way. 0.98
01:05:39.000 It was like there was a religion that existed before Catholicism came rolling through planet Earth, and that religion was... 0.99
01:05:47.000 What we call paganism, which is country dwellers is what that means.
01:05:51.000 Just people who are more in tune with the earth, knew about herbs and stuff. 0.97
01:05:55.000 That's why all of our holidays are fucking weird. 0.91
01:06:00.000 Yeah. 0.68
01:06:00.000 All of our holidays are there. 0.68
01:06:02.000 They're all mismatched. 0.85
01:06:02.000 They're all mismatched, weird shit that we don't really understand based on Jupiter and just strange. 0.85
01:06:08.000 Fucking Lupercalia is what Valentine's Day is, is Lupercalia. 0.99
01:06:12.000 You know about that? 0.99
01:06:13.000 You know what Lupercalia was?
01:06:14.000 What's that? 1.00
01:06:15.000 Lupercalia is fucking crazy, man. 0.99
01:06:17.000 You would get, like, on Valentine's Day, around Valentine's Day, it was called the Festival Lupercalia, and Luper was some kind of wolf god that the Romans worshipped. 0.97
01:06:25.000 So what you would do is you would, as I recall, I looked it up on Wikipedia.
01:06:30.000 You can look it up, guys, and you'll find a much more detailed...
01:06:32.000 Spell it out to me?
01:06:34.000 Lupercalia.
01:06:34.000 L-U-P-E-R-C-A-L-I-A. Yeah, read that shit.
01:06:39.000 That's what Valentine's Day used to be. 1.00
01:06:41.000 But St. Valentine, of course, was a saint, a Catholic saint.
01:06:47.000 Yeah, Luper Cali.
01:06:49.000 That's how you spell it, Luper Cali.
01:06:51.000 Wow, this is amazing.
01:06:53.000 Yeah, it's very interesting.
01:06:54.000 It's very interesting.
01:06:56.000 Ancient, possibly pre-Roman, pastoral festival observed on February 13th through 15th to avert evil spirits and purify the city, releasing health and fertility.
01:07:08.000 Wow.
01:07:09.000 But read what they did, dude!
01:07:12.000 They whipped – there was flogging involved in this festival. 1.00
01:07:16.000 It was very strange.
01:07:18.000 But that's what – that preceded – that was the religion that preceded the one that is currently the dominant religion.
01:07:29.000 And that old religion didn't get – they weren't just like, you know what? 0.69
01:07:33.000 We're not going to worship the wolf god anymore.
01:07:35.000 It was that they were getting torched.
01:07:37.000 And I don't think it was based on eating like fungus.
01:07:40.000 I think it was because it's two combating paradigms that don't work together at all.
01:07:47.000 And I'm not saying either one is necessarily logical, but one is more based on the way the earth works and the other one is based on the way like old dudes try to control people. 0.97
01:08:02.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:08:02.000 That's where – that's the – I mean, dude, this whole fucking pope thing – To me, it's crazy and hilarious that we even pay attention to what that clown is doing. 0.99
01:08:13.000 How is that even making the news? 0.99
01:08:14.000 There's some weird fucking group of people who do the most bizarre ceremonies. 0.99
01:08:20.000 Sanctioned. 0.99
01:08:20.000 Sanctioned by governments and mass media. 0.99
01:08:23.000 No one calls it a cult. 1.00
01:08:25.000 The guy's wearing a fucking wizard outfit with a fish head hat. 1.00
01:08:29.000 If you tried to do that today and tried to say, I am adorned of God, he has brought to me this information, you set up a shop, they would think you were a fucking loon. 0.99
01:08:37.000 But because of the fact that it's been around for a long time, this guy has a direct lineage, we're supposed to take it seriously. 1.00
01:08:43.000 We're supposed to take it seriously and we're supposed to fucking ignore all the shit Catholicism did. 1.00
01:08:47.000 Well, how about the shit he did? 1.00
01:08:49.000 He released a priest that had molested 200 deaf boys. 1.00
01:08:55.000 200. He let him go, huh?
01:08:57.000 He let him go.
01:08:57.000 He brought him into psychiatric, instead of bringing in and getting him prosecuted, they brought him in for psychiatric treatment and this guy went on They went to another parish and molested more boys.
01:09:08.000 I mean, it's fucking craziness. 0.99
01:09:09.000 He did that time and time again. 0.99
01:09:11.000 He took people away from being prosecuted and sent them to psychiatric care and they're free.
01:09:16.000 They're free to go.
01:09:17.000 They're free and they're walking around the street.
01:09:19.000 Some of them are in these huge religious retreat places that they have, beautiful grounds, and these guys are just wandering around, taking care of them for the rest of their lives.
01:09:26.000 And they're child molesters.
01:09:27.000 There's a place like that up where I live.
01:09:30.000 So, right.
01:09:32.000 So that's happening.
01:09:33.000 And they don't pay taxes. 1.00
01:09:34.000 They don't pay fucking taxes. 1.00
01:09:35.000 That is fucking crazy. 1.00
01:09:37.000 All that shit is crazy. 1.00
01:09:39.000 The idea that they should be able to make golden buildings and not pay taxes. 1.00
01:09:43.000 Bitch, are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00
01:09:45.000 Can you fucking imagine? 1.00
01:09:47.000 That's a business. 1.00
01:09:48.000 It's a business. 1.00
01:09:49.000 It's a fucking business. 1.00
01:09:51.000 No, you don't talk directly for God. 1.00
01:09:54.000 It's 2013. Stop.
01:09:56.000 Stop your bullshit. 1.00
01:09:58.000 You're not telling the truth. 1.00
01:09:59.000 You don't know that much.
01:10:00.000 I don't believe you.
01:10:01.000 I think you are very charismatic, and there's a lot of people that want to believe you, and they'll go along with it. 0.98
01:10:07.000 But you're talking crazy. 1.00
01:10:08.000 God's not talking to you, stupid. 1.00
01:10:10.000 No, you're an asshole. 1.00
01:10:11.000 You're an asshole, and you're taking their money. 1.00
01:10:13.000 We've got to make sure that this stops with our generation. 1.00
01:10:18.000 We've got to make sure that future generations don't They don't have a gigantic religious leader, someone who tells them based on some nutty shit that was written thousands of years ago by people who drew on animal skins. 0.98
01:10:31.000 But also it spreads. 0.99
01:10:32.000 The way that looks with Catholicism is just one version of the problem. 0.56
01:10:36.000 The other problem is the guy who calls – there's like – in the way there's a pope, there's also a dude who calls himself the president.
01:10:43.000 But instead of representing some phantasmal force called God, he says, I represent the will of the people.
01:10:50.000 Yet he doesn't really represent the will of the people.
01:10:53.000 It doesn't seem like that when he goes to – when they do the polls and they – as it turns out – and I'm not just the president.
01:11:01.000 Of course the government as a whole.
01:11:02.000 The president doesn't have totalitarian power, but – I don't think that the president really represents the will of the people, and I don't think Congress represents the will of the people, and I don't think Senate represents the will of the people any more than the Pope represents the will of God.
01:11:15.000 And I think it's this imaginary thing that we're supposed to believe in because it makes us feel more comfortable as though these people are really enacting the will of the people.
01:11:24.000 I think the will of the people is that we want peace.
01:11:27.000 We want to be able to – we do want security.
01:11:30.000 We want education. 0.99
01:11:31.000 But we don't want fucking war with evil. 0.99
01:11:35.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:11:35.000 We don't want fucking war with Iraq. 0.99
01:11:39.000 How the fuck do you say that? 1.00
01:11:40.000 I forget to say that. 0.99
01:11:42.000 I got so stirred up.
01:11:43.000 We don't want it.
01:11:44.000 Nobody wants war. 0.97
01:11:45.000 And if there is, it's a small faction of people, sweaty, red-faced cocksuckers. 1.00
01:11:50.000 You know, or like that awful, thin fucking scarecrow cunt, Ann Coulter. 1.00
01:11:56.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:11:57.000 She's like something that... 1.00
01:11:58.000 Baphomet fucking coughed up like a hairball that Satan rejected. 1.00
01:12:03.000 Did you see her getting booed at the Libertarian Convention? 1.00
01:12:06.000 No. 1.00
01:12:06.000 This fucking – she fucking had the audacity like in front of the Libertarian Convention she said – they were asking her like, do you think gay people can get married? 1.00
01:12:17.000 And she's like, yes, gay people can get married to members of the opposite sex. 1.00
01:12:22.000 You bitch. 1.00
01:12:23.000 You dirty, tap-dancing, scandalous bitch. 1.00
01:12:27.000 She's such a beast, man. 1.00
01:12:29.000 So anyway, what I'm saying is there's a small faction of these pigs, you know what I mean, that grab this spotlight and produce this illusion. 0.99
01:12:37.000 And certainly one of the great illusions is the idea that the pope represents God, governments represent the people. 0.93
01:12:46.000 Television represents reality.
01:12:48.000 What we have happening on this planet is dramatic cases of misrepresentation coming from a small minority of people who've managed to grab power.
01:12:58.000 And this creates an illusion that people try to live by.
01:13:00.000 And the reason everything's all fucked up is because it's not based on what's really happening. 0.74
01:13:05.000 Yeah, and I believe that's one of the reasons why government likes to keep religion in positions of power and keep them tax-free. 0.95
01:13:12.000 Because it helps when people are in big groups.
01:13:15.000 It helps when people are already indoctrinated to the rules of the group, because then you're more likely to be a person who listens to rules.
01:13:23.000 The real issue with absolving all religion is not the denial of the existence of God, but the denial of man's knowledge of exactly what God is, who God is, what God wants, And instead, all you can do is base it on the wisdom of ancient teachings that we know to be true today.
01:13:42.000 A lot of that is real.
01:13:44.000 Being able to treat people the way you would want to be treated yourself and in fact treat people as if they were you living another life.
01:13:50.000 That's how I literally try to do that.
01:13:52.000 I try to do that. 0.99
01:13:53.000 It gets a little taxing when you're like, why am I such a fucking loser in this other life? 0.99
01:13:58.000 It gets annoying. 1.00
01:13:59.000 Why am I a dickhead in this other life?
01:14:00.000 But if you think about some of the things that people associate with religion, the ideas, the good ideas of charity and love and family, the values of virtue in your ethics and the way you think of your fellow citizens,
01:14:19.000 your fellow humans that you're in this colony with, Those are all really super positive for the most part.
01:14:24.000 It's mixed in with a lot of scare tactics and fear and nonsense and who knows when that was all added.
01:14:29.000 That's the real problem.
01:14:30.000 But we know when we feel great.
01:14:32.000 We know when we feel filled with love.
01:14:35.000 We know when our life is at its best.
01:14:37.000 And it's real simple.
01:14:39.000 It's being around people that you also love.
01:14:42.000 They love you.
01:14:42.000 You're unconditional.
01:14:43.000 You're all friendly.
01:14:45.000 You're all happy. 0.97
01:14:46.000 And not having a bunch of shit that bothers you as far as like, man, I should have been a singer. 0.99
01:14:51.000 Or, man, I should have played baseball. 0.99
01:14:53.000 Or, man, I should have given it a shot.
01:14:55.000 Or, man, why didn't I call her that night and say I'm sorry?
01:14:58.000 Why did I have to be? 0.99
01:14:58.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 0.99
01:15:00.000 Whatever it is. 0.99
01:15:00.000 When you have regret, when you're in that weird state of regret, I'm very extreme with that. 0.99
01:15:06.000 I'm very harsh on myself as far as monitoring negativity and positivity and making sure that I'm in a good track.
01:15:18.000 When you judge yourself to be in a bad place, that can really distract all of your creativity.
01:15:25.000 It can completely fuck with any new positive things that are moving forward.
01:15:31.000 Instead, you've gone on to correction duty.
01:15:34.000 Then you have to look at how did this sort of behavior manifest itself?
01:15:38.000 What was the cause?
01:15:38.000 Is it alcohol-induced?
01:15:39.000 Is it insecurity-induced?
01:15:41.000 What happened? 0.98
01:15:42.000 What were the combinations of factors that led you to be a douchebag? 0.91
01:15:46.000 What was wrong that made you have a mediocre set? 1.00
01:15:52.000 What was the thing that was bugging you where you sat in front of your computer for two hours, you couldn't write shit? 0.99
01:15:57.000 What is that? 0.99
01:15:58.000 You gotta stop whatever that is.
01:16:00.000 Stop whatever that is and make sure that doesn't happen again.
01:16:03.000 And we have to sort of figure that out along the way.
01:16:07.000 And that's one of the weirdest things about being a human is we're all sort of figuring this out as this thing is in motion.
01:16:14.000 And I always equate it to being like we woke up In the middle of a starship that's hurling towards a planet.
01:16:22.000 And we're like waking up, hitting all the instruments, going, okay, where are we?
01:16:26.000 We're going 75 million miles an hour.
01:16:29.000 How close is that planet?
01:16:30.000 Okay, are we going to hit that planet?
01:16:33.000 Does anybody know how to hit...
01:16:34.000 Where are the brakes?
01:16:35.000 Does this thing turn?
01:16:36.000 Okay, how did we get here? 1.00
01:16:38.000 Who built this fucking ship? 0.99
01:16:39.000 And how long have we been asleep? 1.00
01:16:41.000 I mean, we literally are in the middle of not just a process, but like a journey...
01:16:46.000 A process of constant reevaluation and ingenuity and innovation where this technology that we're surrounded by is increasing in its power and ability like tenfold every couple years. 0.69
01:16:58.000 Like these crazy quantum levels where they're coming up with quantum computing and they're talking about the ability to put Google glasses on and communicate with the fucking world all at the same time.
01:17:11.000 This time that we're at right now, it's almost as if We picked the perfect spot for the most action.
01:17:21.000 Like, the perfect spot for, like, the birth and emergence of technology into the forefront of mankind.
01:17:29.000 Well, you know, a lot of New Agers, you know, say that the reason that the Earth is so populated right now is because so many different beings from infinity, from the multiverse, are wanting to incarnate right now because it's such an exciting thing that's happening to the planet.
01:17:46.000 That's a great way of looking at it.
01:17:49.000 Why are there so many entities incarnated right now?
01:17:51.000 Because you only get one thing, like this thing when a planet pops, you know, when it like wakes up.
01:17:57.000 It's like a really beautiful thing to be a part of.
01:17:59.000 I love that.
01:18:00.000 I love that model.
01:18:01.000 I don't necessarily believe it.
01:18:03.000 I love that.
01:18:03.000 That's a very empowering Melissa Etheridge style model.
01:18:06.000 Melissa Etheridge! 0.98
01:18:07.000 Yeah, that's just mostly because porn is more accepted and people are having more crazy sex and are open about sex, right? 0.98
01:18:12.000 What? 0.97
01:18:13.000 And younger people are having sex younger.
01:18:15.000 That's why there's so much of a population boom at this time.
01:18:18.000 No, no, [... 1.00
01:18:21.000 Kids fuck exactly the same amount. 1.00
01:18:23.000 Porn and no porn. 1.00
01:18:24.000 Porn actually probably stops them from fucking as much because they jerk off. 1.00
01:18:27.000 I don't believe that. 1.00
01:18:28.000 The early 1900s, it's all about family and stuff.
01:18:31.000 People weren't having crazy sex all over the place, don't you think?
01:18:33.000 Okay, you don't know your history, son.
01:18:35.000 What do you think the roaring 20s were? 1.00
01:18:37.000 That was all people fucking like wild animals. 0.99
01:18:39.000 In New York City? 1.00
01:18:40.000 Doctors were giving abortions. 1.00
01:18:41.000 No, it wasn't in New York City, man.
01:18:42.000 I think your perceptions of the world are a little off.
01:18:46.000 The thing that brought people very conservative back to being conservative was the Great Depression. 0.96
01:18:50.000 So before the Great Depression, which was in the 1930s, they were fucking going bananas. 0.98
01:18:55.000 People were going crazy. 0.96
01:18:56.000 And that was the Roaring Twenties.
01:18:58.000 They had speakeasies.
01:19:00.000 Chicks were getting banged. 1.00
01:19:01.000 Dudes were living a bachelor life.
01:19:02.000 They were putting cocaine in Coke.
01:19:04.000 Yeah.
01:19:04.000 Dudes were living a bachelor life to the point where pool halls were...
01:19:08.000 There was...
01:19:10.000 I think four times more pool halls in New York City than there are Starbucks today.
01:19:15.000 There were over a thousand pool halls in New York City at the turn of the century because people were just gambling.
01:19:23.000 What do you mean kids?
01:19:24.000 Kids.
01:19:24.000 Like nowadays, the average person having sex for the first time is like 14, 15 years old.
01:19:30.000 Back then it was probably 21 and 22 because of the religion and stuff.
01:19:33.000 No, you're wrong.
01:19:34.000 You're wrong.
01:19:34.000 Yeah, you're wrong.
01:19:35.000 Yeah, no.
01:19:36.000 People have always had sex at a young age. 0.99
01:19:41.000 Boys and girls have gotten together at a young age forever and fucked. 0.98
01:19:45.000 I don't imagine that there's any more or less fucking than has ever existed amongst teenagers. 1.00
01:19:50.000 If you leave them alone, they fuck. 1.00
01:19:52.000 And who fucks more than Catholic school girls? 1.00
01:19:55.000 You really think religion is going to stop you? 1.00
01:19:57.000 Religion is not stopping a crazy bitch with a moist pussy. 1.00
01:20:01.000 If you leave almost any animal alone with itself, it'll fuck. 1.00
01:20:04.000 I don't buy that. 1.00
01:20:05.000 I don't buy that.
01:20:06.000 But the conservatism that we think of from like the 1950s, well, that was in response to the fact that Hitler had just come along and World War II came along and our grandparents had to fight the Nazis.
01:20:18.000 You know, my grandfather worked in a plant that made a part for the atomic bomb.
01:20:22.000 That was like always the big thing that everybody would brag around the house.
01:20:25.000 You know, Grandpa makes a part in his factory that is for the atomic bomb.
01:20:31.000 You know, so the conservatism that I think that came in the 1950s, the fear, the McCarthy era, when everybody's like, you're communists!
01:20:38.000 Everyone's a communist! 0.98
01:20:39.000 We were worried about Russia doing the same shit we had just seen the Nazis do. 0.99
01:20:43.000 So then the 60s come along. 1.00
01:20:45.000 Boom! 1.00
01:20:45.000 Everybody finds drugs and free love and hippie shit, and the government's like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:20:50.000 Like, stop this! 1.00
01:20:51.000 Like, we're losing all... 1.00
01:20:52.000 The government saw a bunch of soft men running around in sandals, Getting raped by Russians. 1.00
01:20:58.000 The Russians just come over here and just storm our beaches and kick us into the fucking dirt. 1.00
01:21:02.000 Everyone's on acid. 1.00
01:21:03.000 Nobody wants to fight anymore.
01:21:04.000 We're going to get overtaken by the Russians. 1.00
01:21:06.000 The commies are everywhere.
01:21:07.000 Did you go to the Communist Manifesto dinner?
01:21:09.000 I just want to know what it's all about.
01:21:11.000 Blacklisted! 0.99
01:21:12.000 There was like a wild frenzy to stop the drugs and to stop communism and to stop any hippie bullshit and put more power back to the government. 0.97
01:21:23.000 Well, that's the thing I've been thinking, dude, is that I think that there's basically two religions in the world. 0.95
01:21:31.000 And that one religion is a religion... 0.95
01:21:35.000 Religion's probably the wrong word for it.
01:21:37.000 When I got cancer, you know, my mom's dying. 0.99
01:21:40.000 I've had a weird fucking year. 0.98
01:21:42.000 And all the turbulence, man, like behind it, this is what's crazy about really severe, catastrophic things happening in your life, is like... 0.98
01:21:54.000 And why they call it an apocalypse, personal apocalypse, and why apocalypse means lifting of the veil, you know? 0.97
01:21:59.000 It's like you see this fucking thing behind all the turbulence. 0.98
01:22:05.000 It's really weird. 0.98
01:22:06.000 After you've gotten the initial prognosis or after you find out the bad news, you go into shock, kind of.
01:22:13.000 And then that fades and you pace around and you process, process.
01:22:16.000 And then this fades away. 0.99
01:22:18.000 And this fucking thing hit me. 0.99
01:22:20.000 And I felt it when I've been on a lot of psychedelics. 0.99
01:22:22.000 I think you've kind of talked about it in your DMT trip story. 0.99
01:22:26.000 But goddammit, it's this fucking thing behind everything that's saying, everything's gonna be okay. 0.99
01:22:32.000 Everything's gonna be okay. 1.00
01:22:36.000 And you feel it. 0.91
01:22:37.000 It's not bullshit.
01:22:38.000 You're not delusional. 0.55
01:22:39.000 You really pick up on this thing.
01:22:40.000 What you feel is that you're caught up in the idea of this small loop being the big picture.
01:22:48.000 That this small loop represents your reality and it's so important to you because you have loved ones and because you have car payments and because you have a job that you enjoy.
01:22:58.000 It's so important to you, this loop.
01:23:01.000 It allows you to see that this loop is just but a thread and an infinite ball of yarn that goes on forever.
01:23:09.000 And you look at it and just go, okay.
01:23:11.000 And it's like, it's going to be okay.
01:23:12.000 And you're like, okay.
01:23:13.000 Because you realize that life and the universe and everything we find, everywhere we look, is fractal.
01:23:23.000 And that it all is infinitely big.
01:23:28.000 All of it is infinitely small and infinitely big, and it exists everywhere we look.
01:23:33.000 We never found, well, this is the end.
01:23:35.000 This is the end of matter.
01:23:36.000 Here it is.
01:23:36.000 Yeah, it hits a wall, and then there's nothing behind it.
01:23:38.000 No, there's no wall, man.
01:23:40.000 It goes down to subatomic particles that blink in and out of existence.
01:23:43.000 They're in a superposition, so they're in two different places at one time.
01:23:46.000 They're moving and still at the same time. 0.99
01:23:48.000 It's fucking madness. 1.00
01:23:49.000 They disappear, and they come back. 1.00
01:23:51.000 We don't know where the fuck they went. 1.00
01:23:54.000 And they can measure it, but they don't know what it means. 0.99
01:23:57.000 And so I feel like it's probably got to be that with just life in general and everything, consciousness in general.
01:24:08.000 I think we're clinging on to this one particular consciousness and this one particular moment in time because I think the human race Is here to do something.
01:24:20.000 I think we're a part of a process like bees making honey or ants making an anthill and that all of our wackiness, whether it's ego or sexuality or the need to conquer, whatever these things are, they're all a part of this gigantic calculation to bring us technologically to the next level.
01:24:40.000 Whether it's because we're worried about the other guys doing it first, whether it's because – and that's how the movement represents itself.
01:24:49.000 It represents itself through the fear of military conquest by the others, so we have to hit this technological superiority first, sort of like the moon race.
01:24:57.000 Whatever the fuck it is, when I look at the idea of our inability to grasp what we're doing and our continued movement in the same crazy direction, especially when it comes to war and the lack of respect people have for poor people and the lower classes and the lack of resources that are put into raising them back up, 0.70
01:25:21.000 I almost look at it like it's natural. 0.99
01:25:24.000 If you look at every other animal's behavior, whether it's wolves and the alpha beta representatives in the wolf pack and the way they have their social world structured, even if it's cruel, we see bears eat their cubs, we understand that this is nature.
01:25:41.000 Bears, one of their favorite things to do, grizzlies, they get up earlier before the females do in the spring, and they go and hunt for baby bears.
01:25:48.000 They go into the dens on purpose to eat the babies.
01:25:52.000 Buffets. 1.00
01:25:52.000 Yeah, they're motherfuckers, right? 1.00
01:25:54.000 But that's natural, and we know that's natural. 1.00
01:25:56.000 So we see it and we go, well, that's natural.
01:25:58.000 That's what nature wants.
01:26:00.000 We are the only thing that we think that can stop nature.
01:26:04.000 We can stop the equation.
01:26:06.000 We feel like we are intelligent and aware and we are capable of stopping the equation that we find ourselves in.
01:26:14.000 And I'm not so sure if that even makes sense.
01:26:17.000 Well, here's one.
01:26:18.000 This is something I thought about.
01:26:19.000 We're reading this great book about evolution.
01:26:20.000 Can I pee?
01:26:21.000 Hold this.
01:26:21.000 Oh yeah, sure.
01:26:22.000 Talk to Brian. 0.85
01:26:22.000 He'll tell you about boners. 0.85
01:26:26.000 Brian. 0.69
01:26:27.000 What?
01:26:30.000 What about that new PS4? I don't know about that.
01:26:34.000 You're not excited about it, huh?
01:26:36.000 No, I don't care.
01:26:39.000 I'm mildly excited about it.
01:26:42.000 I'm excited about the next generation of these things coming out.
01:26:46.000 Not as excited about the new Xbox, but I think it's pretty cool.
01:26:48.000 Have you been playing games at all?
01:26:49.000 I haven't really been playing games at all.
01:26:52.000 Yeah.
01:26:54.000 I've been playing this game called Far Cry 3. Oh, you really?
01:26:57.000 Yeah.
01:26:58.000 That's a weird change of game for you. 0.96
01:27:00.000 Well, it's funny because the characters in it are douchebags. 0.77
01:27:04.000 It's really a cheesy storyline.
01:27:06.000 It's like a bunch of actors get kidnapped by tribal members, and it's very funny the way that they communicate with each other.
01:27:13.000 Like, we're gonna get back to Santa Monica, bro!
01:27:16.000 It's really weird.
01:27:17.000 They all are in the film industry or something.
01:27:21.000 So it's cheesy.
01:27:22.000 It's like a chance to...
01:27:23.000 And also, the main character, as he progresses, gets a tribal armband that keeps growing on his arm.
01:27:31.000 The game seems to have been made by somebody who is definitely into techno and cocaine.
01:27:36.000 But it's still a very fun game.
01:27:38.000 Little Esther's watching us right now, and I've been having a side conversation. 0.99
01:27:42.000 She wants to get fake boobs. 1.00
01:27:44.000 For real? 0.99
01:27:45.000 Yeah.
01:27:46.000 She's just trolling you. 1.00
01:27:47.000 No, she really does want fake boobs. 1.00
01:27:49.000 She has a nice rack, that girl. 1.00
01:27:54.000 Are you trying to think of her?
01:27:56.000 Yeah, I've never seen Little Esther's booths.
01:27:58.000 I apologize for that.
01:28:00.000 I'm usually very professional when it comes to my urine.
01:28:02.000 You gotta go when you gotta go!
01:28:04.000 I drank a big kombucha before Whole Foods started getting the new kombuchas in again.
01:28:09.000 Do you know that a kombucha tea, like when you get it like GT's kombucha or Synergy, it was like more than one half of 1% alcohol, so you had to be over 21 to buy it.
01:28:20.000 And you still have to be over 21 to buy it.
01:28:22.000 But they just got it back on the shelves.
01:28:24.000 They had a diluted form of it, which is still healthy.
01:28:27.000 The kombucha is still good, but it's not as good as the true fermented live culture. 0.98
01:28:33.000 Yeah, it's fucking delicious. 0.96
01:28:34.000 I love that stuff. 0.99
01:28:36.000 Oh, it's so good.
01:28:37.000 If you get a taste for that, it's so healthy.
01:28:39.000 It's really good. 0.96
01:28:40.000 Because I'll drink a Diet Coke and feel like a loser.
01:28:42.000 I'm just like, what am I doing?
01:28:43.000 What am I doing? 0.99
01:28:44.000 Do I want to fuck my body up? 0.99
01:28:46.000 I'd rather drink a Coke because I know it's just fatty. 1.00
01:28:49.000 I don't know what the fuck these unnatural sweeteners do for you. 0.99
01:28:54.000 I don't know. 1.00
01:28:55.000 I don't know what the fuck they do. 1.00
01:28:57.000 I don't know. 0.99
01:28:58.000 I don't know what's dangerous and what's not.
01:29:00.000 But I know sugar just gets you fat.
01:29:02.000 I mean, it might give you diabetes if you got a wacky system, but basically it just gets you fat.
01:29:08.000 When you take that aspartame, you know, there's like significant evidence at the point that that stuff causes cancer, like brain cancer. 1.00
01:29:15.000 I eat a lot of that shit. 1.00
01:29:17.000 Yeah, I don't think you should take that shit. 1.00
01:29:19.000 You eat a lot of aspartame? 1.00
01:29:20.000 Yeah.
01:29:21.000 Splenda's six a day in my Trenta iced coffee. 0.99
01:29:24.000 I think the only shit that they've shown that's really safe is stevia. 0.99
01:29:30.000 Stevia is natural. 0.99
01:29:32.000 It doesn't taste that good. 0.99
01:29:34.000 No, even lately there's been some shit on stevia. 0.99
01:29:36.000 Really? 0.99
01:29:37.000 Yeah.
01:29:37.000 Oh, I haven't heard that.
01:29:38.000 Because stevia's a plant.
01:29:39.000 What's that stuff, the syrup?
01:29:41.000 Agave is pretty good.
01:29:42.000 Oh, that's what I use.
01:29:43.000 No, agave is actually not good for you.
01:29:45.000 Really?
01:29:45.000 Yeah, agave is not good for you.
01:29:47.000 That is so disappointing to hear.
01:29:48.000 Agave is high in, like, sugary syrup.
01:29:51.000 I love that stuff.
01:29:52.000 I had no idea.
01:29:53.000 I thought it was fine.
01:29:54.000 It's not like honey.
01:29:55.000 Like, honey is actually good for you.
01:29:56.000 Agave is not good for you.
01:29:57.000 It's just sugar.
01:29:58.000 What a mess.
01:29:59.000 But it's not bad for you.
01:30:00.000 I mean, it's like... 0.99
01:30:02.000 The real problem with sugar is if you get it without all the other shit that it's attached to. 0.98
01:30:08.000 If you get sugar from fruit, it's not nearly as bad for you as a spoonful of sugar. 0.99
01:30:13.000 You take a spoonful of sugar and your body is just like jolt.
01:30:18.000 You're not supposed to get that in that form.
01:30:20.000 When you're drinking Coke, you're drinking several spoonfuls, just pounding it into your bloodstream.
01:30:26.000 I wonder how many spoonfuls of aspartame is in a Diet Coke.
01:30:29.000 No one's done that. 1.00
01:30:30.000 I've never seen that shit. 1.00
01:30:31.000 Well, even juices. 1.00
01:30:32.000 That's the criticism of fruit juices.
01:30:34.000 The criticism of fruit juices is you're getting far too much sugar.
01:30:38.000 What you're really supposed to do is drink water and eat oranges.
01:30:41.000 Because when you eat an orange, it's attached to fiber. 0.97
01:30:44.000 It's attached to cellulose, all the different plant, whatever the fuck an orange or the fruit is made of. 0.91
01:30:50.000 You're supposed to get that.
01:30:51.000 That's the nutritional package.
01:30:53.000 You're supposed to get fibers along with it.
01:30:55.000 It's one of the reasons why kale shakes are so good as opposed to juicing.
01:30:59.000 This guy at the Whole Foods was talking to me about that.
01:31:02.000 I said, I like juicing too.
01:31:04.000 I like juicing.
01:31:04.000 Juicing is great for getting a lot of chlorophyll.
01:31:09.000 You can get highly concentrated greens if you juice.
01:31:13.000 But the fiber is really good for you too.
01:31:16.000 If you can just choke it down.
01:31:18.000 A lot of people are like, oh my god, what are you eating?
01:31:21.000 Just choke it down.
01:31:21.000 You mean your kale shakes?
01:31:22.000 Yeah.
01:31:23.000 Yeah, those are disgusting. 0.99
01:31:25.000 I gotta piss. 1.00
01:31:26.000 Go ahead, go ahead, piss. 0.99
01:31:27.000 You say they're nasty, but they're so good for you, man, and I can't tell you how many people that I've run into at these shows that, like, this one dude in Anaheim this weekend, he said that he lost 200 fucking pounds. 0.99
01:31:38.000 He showed me a picture of him standing next to Dan Henderson, and he was like, where is it, Ben Henderson? 0.94
01:31:46.000 Not sure.
01:31:46.000 Blurry picture.
01:31:48.000 I forgot to ask him.
01:31:49.000 But he was enormous.
01:31:50.000 And now he's like 200 pounds.
01:31:52.000 I was like, that is insane.
01:31:53.000 I go, that's incredible.
01:31:55.000 He goes, dude, it was just listening to the podcast.
01:31:57.000 He goes, you guys changed my life.
01:31:58.000 He goes, I started thinking about things positive and realizing what can I do to affect my quality of life.
01:32:04.000 So I started drinking kale shakes every day.
01:32:06.000 I started working out just a little, going on walks. 0.99
01:32:09.000 200 fucking pounds this guy lost. 0.99
01:32:13.000 You want to check this out? 0.99
01:32:14.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:32:15.000 This is...
01:32:16.000 And by the way, that 200-pound thing, that's just one of them.
01:32:18.000 I ran into some folks in North Carolina.
01:32:20.000 They had lost over 100. The guy lost 100. The girl lost 90. I mean, I run into it all the time.
01:32:26.000 It's nuts.
01:32:28.000 It's unexpected.
01:32:30.000 What this is, what we're about to play, is Quentin Tarantino, who is one of...
01:32:34.000 You've talked about this before a while ago, too.
01:32:36.000 Yeah, but this is unconnected.
01:32:38.000 This video is.
01:32:39.000 Quentin Tarantino, my favorite director of all time.
01:32:42.000 If you tell me if there's a new Quentin Tarantino movie, I know I'm going to have a good time. 0.63
01:32:46.000 The guy's a nut. 0.99
01:32:48.000 But like a lot of nuts, he's nuts. 1.00
01:32:53.000 He's a brilliant director, but he's a chameleon socially. 0.99
01:32:58.000 And I noticed it when I was listening to him.
01:33:00.000 I had the Sirius XM in my other car.
01:33:04.000 In my last car, and I listened to him. 0.93
01:33:07.000 He was on Stern, and he sounded almost effeminate, like almost gay, or very, I should say very submissive, maybe? 0.95
01:33:16.000 I don't know. 0.97
01:33:17.000 The word you're looking for is autistic. 0.85
01:33:18.000 Maybe it's that.
01:33:19.000 Yeah, he might be that.
01:33:20.000 Or maybe he's got like, maybe he's Asperger's or something like that.
01:33:25.000 Yeah.
01:33:26.000 But, so then he goes on Opie and Anthony, and then when he was on Opie and Anthony, he was one of the guys.
01:33:31.000 He's like, you know, Ope and Anthony are like regular guys.
01:33:34.000 So you go on that show and Jimmy Norton's there talking about trannies and you're like, I'm one of the guys. 1.00
01:33:37.000 We're all one of the guys.
01:33:38.000 We're hanging out here, guys.
01:33:39.000 We're hanging out, guys.
01:33:40.000 Guys are hanging out. 0.62
01:33:41.000 Then he goes on the Jamie Foxx show and he's black.
01:33:43.000 And it's not really like he sounds black. 0.97
01:33:45.000 He sounds like an old white guy trying to talk black. 0.96
01:33:48.000 And he's talking black to, you know... 1.00
01:33:51.000 Listen, you want to talk about black dudes who are bad motherfuckers, okay? 1.00
01:33:58.000 Then there's, obviously, in pop culture, in athletics, there's been many, many African Americans that have pulled off some staggering shit. 1.00
01:34:08.000 Jamie Foxx is a motherfucker, okay? 1.00
01:34:12.000 Jamie Foxx won, didn't he win like a Grammy? 1.00
01:34:15.000 He could sing his fucking dick off, okay? 1.00
01:34:17.000 You hear him sing when he did, when he played Ray Charles? 1.00
01:34:20.000 That motherfucker is talented. 0.99
01:34:22.000 That guy can play. 1.00
01:34:24.000 He can play piano. 1.00
01:34:25.000 He sings like a fucking, like, like as good as a professional famous singer could sing. 1.00
01:34:32.000 I mean, the dude's ultra super talented. 1.00
01:34:36.000 He also has his own radio station, okay?
01:34:39.000 He's got the foxhole.
01:34:40.000 He's like, yo, it's Jamie Foxx.
01:34:41.000 He has people along.
01:34:43.000 He has...
01:34:43.000 Well, your name is Foxx.
01:34:44.000 Why not call it the foxhole?
01:34:45.000 It's his place.
01:34:46.000 They're hanging out, right?
01:34:48.000 So, Quentin Tarantino, in the face of hanging around with this Uberman, this guy who's accomplished so much, this This freak success story in the history of the African American race that he morphs into a black guy when he's talking to him. 1.00
01:35:07.000 Let's see this shit. 0.99
01:35:08.000 It's really awkward. 1.00
01:35:09.000 Well then, that was on the radio, but this is something that I saw on the internet.
01:35:13.000 The other day where other people are starting to pick up on this.
01:35:17.000 And this is cracked.
01:35:22.000 So it's all these black fellows and ladies hanging out on this cool set for Django and they're asking him questions here.
01:35:31.000 That sound has to be like one of the most quoted movies in Hollywood with just the lines and everything.
01:35:35.000 So you gotta give us.
01:35:36.000 This is my question for you.
01:35:38.000 What is the most famous line?
01:35:40.000 Your favorite line.
01:35:42.000 From pop fiction. 1.00
01:35:43.000 I think probably the most famous line is, I'm going to get medieval on your ass. 0.99
01:35:49.000 Okay, that's not too bad because he's like warming up for the impression. 0.99
01:35:54.000 Pleasing your fans or pleasing the critics for you?
01:35:58.000 Interesting question actually.
01:36:01.000 Well, I want to please my fans and I want to please the critics that are my fans.
01:36:07.000 The critics ain't my fans.
01:36:09.000 I don't give a damn.
01:36:11.000 He rapped. 0.95
01:36:12.000 He just rapped.
01:36:12.000 He went into an impromptu rap.
01:36:16.000 That was one of the most uncomfortable things.
01:36:20.000 He's a visionary.
01:36:21.000 That girl wants to work for him. 1.00
01:36:22.000 Ooh, she's hot too. 1.00
01:36:24.000 I wonder if she would fuck him. 1.00
01:36:25.000 She's so pretty. 1.00
01:36:25.000 Now, I'm not that computer savvy. 1.00
01:36:28.000 So if he had sent me something that I plug into my computer, I don't know if I would have ever heard it.
01:36:32.000 Hey, download this.
01:36:33.000 I don't know how to do that.
01:36:38.000 Then Jamie...
01:36:40.000 My man.
01:36:41.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:36:41.000 Jamie Foxx.
01:36:42.000 Here's Jamie Foxx sitting here going, man, I'm not hanging out with this crazy white motherfucker. 1.00
01:36:47.000 Rick Ross and the whole posse. 1.00
01:36:49.000 Fake Rick Ross, by the way.
01:36:51.000 That's the fake.
01:36:52.000 Look at Samuel Jackson.
01:36:55.000 Samuel Jackson is very uncomfortable.
01:36:57.000 Look at him. 1.00
01:36:58.000 He's not even taking that fucking microphone away from his dick. 1.00
01:37:02.000 I need a hundred black preachers with a black sermon. 1.00
01:37:11.000 Wait, hold on, hold on. 0.78
01:37:13.000 Isn't it possible, though, that this is some kind of weird conceptual gag he's doing?
01:37:18.000 Like, he was backstage, he's like, I'm just gonna do this for no reason.
01:37:22.000 Isn't it possible it's some inside joke?
01:37:24.000 It does remind me of something that my ex-girlfriend would do just because she likes trolling every single person she talks to. 1.00
01:37:31.000 Yeah, I got it, man. 0.98
01:37:33.000 With someone like Quentin Tarantino, who is clearly a fucking genius, I've got to think first. 0.98
01:37:39.000 This is some kind of gag. 0.99
01:37:41.000 That's what I think.
01:37:42.000 That guy's so cool, man.
01:37:44.000 Well, that's because you're looking for a conspiracy and everything.
01:37:46.000 I don't know, man. 0.94
01:37:48.000 Me, I go, oh, he's a loon. 0.66
01:37:49.000 A brilliant loon.
01:37:51.000 I think it's Asperger's, man.
01:37:52.000 I think he just gets uncomfortable or nervous and he just doesn't even realize he's doing it.
01:37:56.000 But I bet you're right.
01:37:57.000 Look, we're making fun of the guy, okay?
01:38:00.000 It has to be done.
01:38:01.000 Doesn't mean I don't love him. 0.63
01:38:02.000 The guy's fucking awesome. 0.86
01:38:03.000 Thanks, Jamie. 0.80
01:38:04.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:38:04.000 He's an amazing, amazing director, but that shit's hilarious. 0.99
01:38:07.000 It's hilarious when you're a different person in three different places. 0.99
01:38:10.000 But you might be right.
01:38:10.000 It might be that.
01:38:11.000 It's got to be a gag.
01:38:13.000 Yeah, let's check this out.
01:38:14.000 I took it home and I played and I go, this is the bomb!
01:38:22.000 My movies are always filled with songs, but it's always stuff that I chose from either my own collection or something like that.
01:38:27.000 I never had like a music supervisor hook me up with stuff.
01:38:29.000 It's always stuff I chose.
01:38:31.000 Now watch this.
01:38:33.000 This is the show here on another show.
01:38:36.000 Red Nosed Reindeer, the Charlie Brown special.
01:38:39.000 What was that one with Fred Astaire as the mailman?
01:38:43.000 He's narrating it.
01:38:44.000 Santa Claus is coming to town.
01:38:48.000 That's so funny.
01:38:49.000 Yeah, at the end they're like, who are you?
01:38:52.000 I was trying to find his speech he did at the Oscars.
01:38:55.000 That was a really good one because he was in front of the highest of Hollywood people, so he was being very respectful.
01:39:01.000 So his voices and how he talked was very accurate.
01:39:04.000 It was a way better example than what we just saw there.
01:39:07.000 It was a super white guy.
01:39:10.000 What a strange fellow, man.
01:39:13.000 That is a confusing man.
01:39:14.000 He's awesome.
01:39:15.000 I love him.
01:39:15.000 Yeah, I love him too.
01:39:16.000 I love him.
01:39:16.000 He makes the best movies, man.
01:39:18.000 His movies are fun.
01:39:19.000 They're all fun.
01:39:20.000 They're all wild chaos.
01:39:21.000 Well, also, you know about the theater he bought, right?
01:39:24.000 There's a theater in LA that only shows...
01:39:27.000 It's not in Santa Monica...
01:39:29.000 I can't remember the name of the theater.
01:39:30.000 Silent Theater?
01:39:31.000 No, he bought like a theater where it shows like...
01:39:33.000 Only film.
01:39:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:39:35.000 It only shows shit that was... 0.95
01:39:36.000 It doesn't show anything digital. 0.80
01:39:38.000 So like you go there and they show all these old grindhouse films and stuff and like it's just badass and like it's not a profitable place.
01:39:46.000 He just does it because he doesn't want digital to take over, which it is, which is going to happen.
01:39:50.000 Well, it's going to happen anyway, but it's still cool just to have it.
01:39:53.000 Like that Silent Theater, is that still open?
01:39:55.000 Yeah, it's still open.
01:39:56.000 Yeah.
01:39:56.000 That's pretty dope.
01:39:57.000 There's a silent theater in LA where you can go watch a silent movie.
01:40:00.000 That's where Doug Benson does all his movies, where he watches a movie and then talks while the movie's going on.
01:40:06.000 That's CineFamily. 1.00
01:40:09.000 I think CineFamily is at the silent theater.
01:40:11.000 It's called CineFamily.
01:40:12.000 So he watches a silent movie and then talks over it?
01:40:16.000 No, it's not a silent movie.
01:40:17.000 It's just a regular movie, like Top Gun.
01:40:19.000 And then they just sit there and pretty much comment on it.
01:40:21.000 Well, you know, that was also an issue, a Quentin Tarantino issue, was Roger Avery apparently was the guy who wrote that whole Top Gun gay connection thing that was like Roger Avery's baby, and Quentin Tarantino did it in a movie.
01:40:33.000 Yeah, he was in a movie, and he like chameleoned Roger Avery and told the whole Top Gun story, it being like sort of a gay love story and what it really represents.
01:40:43.000 It's really brilliant.
01:40:44.000 Have you ever seen it?
01:40:45.000 Pull it up.
01:40:46.000 Quentin Tarantino explains Top Gun.
01:40:48.000 Because it's kind of a trip.
01:40:51.000 Roger Avery was apparently a really brilliant guy.
01:40:54.000 He wrote Killing Zoe.
01:40:55.000 Did you ever see Killing Zoe?
01:40:57.000 I never saw it. 1.00
01:40:57.000 Fucking fantastic crime movie. 1.00
01:41:01.000 It's a fucking great movie. 1.00
01:41:03.000 And it's very... 0.99
01:41:04.000 I don't want to say Pulp Fiction-like, but exciting in that same way like Pulp Fiction is.
01:41:10.000 I don't want to tell you any more about it, but Killing Zoe is one of my favorite movies.
01:41:13.000 I love Killing Zoe. 0.98
01:41:14.000 It's a fucking badass flick. 0.99
01:41:16.000 It's a great flick. 0.99
01:41:16.000 It's just really well done. 0.99
01:41:19.000 And then my cat after that.
01:41:20.000 I had a cat named Zoe.
01:41:22.000 So Roger Avery, who created that, and also co-wrote Pulp Fiction with Tarantino.
01:41:28.000 And you can see, like, when you see, like, Killing Zoe, and when you read some of his, he was the one who got in trouble for tweeting when he was in jail.
01:41:37.000 Remember that?
01:41:38.000 Nope.
01:41:38.000 Roger Avery was in jail.
01:41:40.000 I think he's drunk drive.
01:41:41.000 He was driving drunk and he killed somebody.
01:41:46.000 I think he got in a car accident and killed one of his friends.
01:41:49.000 And he had to go to jail for a while.
01:41:51.000 And he was tweeting from jail.
01:41:53.000 And there was some sort of a controversy with the fact that he was able to tweet from jail.
01:41:58.000 So...
01:41:59.000 They moved him.
01:42:00.000 They wound up moving him, I think, because of it. 0.99
01:42:01.000 I think he really got fucked over because of it. 0.99
01:42:04.000 I think. 0.96
01:42:04.000 I'm not sure if I'm telling the exact true story, but he wrote these really interesting tweets from jail. 0.96
01:42:13.000 It was really fascinating.
01:42:14.000 That's cool.
01:42:14.000 You talk about the different social things that are going on, and this guy across the hall, that guy owes him money, this could get ugly.
01:42:22.000 It's really fascinating shit that he would talk about guards getting bribed and dudes Smuggling heroin up their ass. 0.99
01:42:34.000 What's the film about? 0.99
01:42:35.000 What's it really about?
01:42:36.000 What genre does it take?
01:42:37.000 Like the spine?
01:42:40.000 Like one sentence? 0.99
01:42:41.000 No, I don't fucking boy meets girl. 1.00
01:42:42.000 I don't give a shit about that. 1.00
01:42:43.000 Fuck boy meets girl. 1.00
01:42:44.000 Fuck motorcycle movie. 1.00
01:42:45.000 No. 1.00
01:42:45.000 What is really being said? 1.00
01:42:47.000 What's really being seen?
01:42:47.000 That's what you were talking about.
01:42:49.000 Because the whole idea, man, is subversion.
01:42:51.000 You want subversion on a massive level. 0.95
01:42:53.000 You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? 0.97
01:42:57.000 What? 0.99
01:42:58.000 Tonka. 1.00
01:43:00.000 Top Gun is fucking great. 1.00
01:43:02.000 What is Top Gun? 0.99
01:43:03.000 You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots? 0.97
01:43:05.000 Yeah, it's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around. 0.99
01:43:08.000 It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. 0.99
01:43:13.000 That's it.
01:43:13.000 That is what Top Gun is about, man.
01:43:15.000 You've got Maverick, all right?
01:43:17.000 He's on the edge, man. 0.99
01:43:18.000 He's right on the fucking line, all right? 0.99
01:43:21.000 And you've got Iceman and all his crew. 1.00
01:43:23.000 They're gay. 0.99
01:43:24.000 And they represent the gay man, all right? 0.99
01:43:27.000 And they're saying, go. 0.99
01:43:28.000 Go the gay way. 1.00
01:43:29.000 Go the gay way. 1.00
01:43:29.000 He could go both What about Kelly McGillis? 1.00
01:43:32.000 She's heterosexuality. 1.00
01:43:33.000 She's saying, no, no, no, no, no.
01:43:34.000 Go the normal way.
01:43:35.000 Play by the rules, go the normal way. 0.98
01:43:37.000 They're saying, no, go the gay way. 0.98
01:43:39.000 Be the gay way. 1.00
01:43:39.000 Go for the gay way. 1.00
01:43:40.000 That is what's going on throughout that whole movie. 0.89
01:43:43.000 He goes to her house, right? 0.64
01:43:44.000 It looks like they're going to have sex. 0.81
01:43:46.000 They're just kind of sitting back. 0.69
01:43:47.000 He's taking a shower and everything.
01:43:48.000 They don't have sex.
01:43:49.000 He gets in the motorcycle, drives away. 1.00
01:43:50.000 She's like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:43:51.000 What the fuck is going on here? 1.00
01:43:53.000 Next scene! 1.00
01:43:54.000 Next scene, you see her.
01:43:55.000 She's in the elevator.
01:43:56.000 She is dressed like a guy.
01:43:58.000 She's got the cap on.
01:43:59.000 She's got the elevator clashes. 1.00
01:44:00.000 She's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears.
01:44:03.000 She goes, okay, this is how I got to get this guy.
01:44:05.000 This guy's going towards the gateway.
01:44:06.000 So I got to bring him back.
01:44:07.000 I got to bring him back from the gateway.
01:44:09.000 So I'm going to do that through subterfuge.
01:44:11.000 I'm going to dress like a man. 0.97
01:44:12.000 All right?
01:44:13.000 That is how she approaches it.
01:44:15.000 Okay.
01:44:16.000 But the real ending of the movie is when they fight the Knicks at the end. 0.52
01:44:19.000 Because he has passed over into the gay way. 1.00
01:44:21.000 They are this gay, fighting fucking force. 1.00
01:44:24.000 And they're beating the Russians. 1.00
01:44:25.000 The kings are beating the Russians. 1.00
01:44:27.000 And it's over, and they fucking land. 0.98
01:44:29.000 And Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time. 0.98
01:44:32.000 Finally, he's got him. 0.97
01:44:33.000 And what is the last fucking line that they had together at all? 0.99
01:44:36.000 Hugging and kissing and happy with each other. 0.99
01:44:38.000 And Ice comes at the Maverick, and he says, Man, you can ride my tail!
01:44:43.000 It's time!
01:44:44.000 And what does Maverick say?
01:44:45.000 You can ride my sword fight!
01:44:55.000 That's so great.
01:44:56.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
01:44:57.000 That's brilliant.
01:44:58.000 But imagine if you were Roger Avery and you wrote that and Quentin Tarantino did it in a movie. 1.00
01:45:03.000 That would suck a fat dick. 1.00
01:45:04.000 Yeah, that sucks. 1.00
01:45:06.000 And apparently, Quentin claims that they co-wrote it together. 0.98
01:45:09.000 I don't know. 0.98
01:45:10.000 I don't know what happened, but it's a fucking brilliant analysis. 0.94
01:45:13.000 Whoever wrote it, Quentin or Roger Avery, whoever wrote it, that's a brilliant analysis. 0.96
01:45:16.000 Brilliant analysis.
01:45:17.000 What's that from?
01:45:18.000 It's hilarious.
01:45:18.000 Killing Zoe, right?
01:45:19.000 That's from Killing Zoe?
01:45:20.000 No, no, no, no, no.
01:45:22.000 I don't know what that movie was.
01:45:23.000 That's a...
01:45:26.000 I don't know what the movie was.
01:45:28.000 That's not from Killing Zoe though.
01:45:29.000 No, it's from...
01:45:30.000 Something much more recent.
01:45:32.000 No, that's not recent.
01:45:33.000 That's actually really...
01:45:35.000 I think that's like 90s.
01:45:35.000 Much more recent than Killing Zoe, no?
01:45:37.000 Really?
01:45:37.000 Yeah.
01:45:37.000 I've seen that before a long time ago.
01:45:39.000 Okay.
01:45:40.000 Now we need to figure that out.
01:45:41.000 Pull it up.
01:45:42.000 Find out where it came from.
01:45:44.000 But I think Killing Zoe was like in the 90s, wasn't it?
01:45:48.000 I don't know. 0.99
01:45:50.000 Yeah, that was a great fucking movie, man. 0.99
01:45:53.000 I love that. 0.99
01:45:53.000 That's what making movies is about. 0.99
01:45:55.000 Sleep With Me, 1994. Sleep With Me.
01:45:58.000 Yeah, I remember.
01:45:59.000 I saw that a long-ass time ago because I was addicted to Quentin Tarantino.
01:46:02.000 I had to see every single movie that Quentin Tarantino was in.
01:46:06.000 That's funny.
01:46:07.000 Have you seen this Microsoft thing that they announced?
01:46:10.000 It's supposedly for an upcoming Xbox.
01:46:12.000 And what it does is it takes a picture of your room.
01:46:15.000 So say your TV's on the wall.
01:46:17.000 It takes a picture of everything around your room and adds it to the game. 0.99
01:46:21.000 And it's fucking trippy. 0.98
01:46:23.000 Check this out. 0.96
01:46:26.000 So imagine like a video game in the future.
01:46:30.000 It's a guy sitting...
01:46:32.000 Go big.
01:46:35.000 Scanning room, it's saying.
01:46:42.000 So it's just like... 1.00
01:46:44.000 Putting shit on the walls? 0.99
01:46:45.000 Yeah, but watch this bookshelf pretty soon. 0.99
01:46:48.000 It knows the bookshelf's there.
01:46:51.000 And so... 1.00
01:46:52.000 That shit looks distracting as fuck. 1.00
01:46:54.000 It looks better when you see it in HD. The low res of the thing makes it look like shit. 1.00
01:46:59.000 Oh, really? 0.99
01:47:00.000 Yeah.
01:47:01.000 Look at that.
01:47:02.000 Oh, wow.
01:47:02.000 It does that?
01:47:03.000 Yeah.
01:47:05.000 Like, it really manipulates your environment so it adds it to the game.
01:47:11.000 Like...
01:47:12.000 Oh, wow.
01:47:12.000 So it highlights the bookshelf.
01:47:15.000 And the floor a little bit.
01:47:16.000 Yeah.
01:47:17.000 And so it showed pixels, so pixels were coming at you, but it knew the floor was there, so the pixels would kind of ride the floor and stuff like that.
01:47:27.000 It's cool, man.
01:47:28.000 Well, it seems like that's where it's all gonna go, right? 0.99
01:47:30.000 No, it's going to the fucking Oculus Rift, dude. 0.99
01:47:33.000 That's where it's going. 1.00
01:47:34.000 Fuck the projector shit. 1.00
01:47:35.000 Have you seen the Oculus Rift? 1.00
01:47:37.000 What is that?
01:47:37.000 Have you seen videos of people with the Oculus Rift off?
01:47:40.000 It's this consumer-based virtual reality helmet that's coming out that is apparently...
01:47:45.000 So insane that when people wear it and they hear someone talking near them while the rift is on, it's confusing.
01:47:52.000 It'd be like you sitting here right now and suddenly a disembodied voice starts talking to you.
01:47:56.000 Because it like, fully like, it's like, apparently incredible.
01:47:59.000 There's videos of it out there.
01:48:00.000 Have you seen those, Redband?
01:48:03.000 Gotta show people putting it on.
01:48:06.000 Optics, right?
01:48:06.000 The lenses create a fisheye effect.
01:48:08.000 We correct for that distortion.
01:48:11.000 So...
01:48:11.000 I gotta get one of these.
01:48:12.000 What I'm gonna do is give you the headset.
01:48:18.000 If you were standing, you would have your body, your brain just naturally just tell you to start walking.
01:48:25.000 You know what would be a really good thing?
01:48:27.000 Like put this on someone's head and then like inside of like a train tunnel and have them walk towards the light and come out into the world.
01:48:38.000 Show it right when he puts it on.
01:48:39.000 Walk up to like one of these buildings basically.
01:48:43.000 We can't see what he's seeing, though.
01:48:45.000 We just see a guy with some crazy...
01:48:46.000 It's cool to see him react at first.
01:48:48.000 It's that first thing is there.
01:48:50.000 You have to see it for yourself.
01:48:52.000 Also, that guy is so smart.
01:48:54.000 Candid Anthony.
01:48:56.000 Okay, so he's going to put it off for the first time.
01:48:58.000 Are you taking the red or the blue pill?
01:49:00.000 There he goes.
01:49:02.000 Just adjust a little bit.
01:49:03.000 Something went pretty good.
01:49:06.000 Looks pretty good to me.
01:49:07.000 Alright.
01:49:09.000 So, before you take off running through the streets of this village, I want you to look left.
01:49:15.000 Look right.
01:49:17.000 Look up.
01:49:19.000 Look down. 1.00
01:49:20.000 Holy shit. 0.99
01:49:21.000 And actually look 180 degrees. 1.00
01:49:23.000 Turn your body and look at me, basically.
01:49:25.000 Where I would be, but I'm not.
01:49:27.000 So you do have full 360 head track.
01:49:29.000 Wow.
01:49:31.000 Oh my god.
01:49:32.000 So first, just take a look at some of the snow.
01:49:34.000 You know, the snow, it's all stereo, so you should see some nice depth to that snow.
01:49:38.000 You feel like it's falling on you almost.
01:49:40.000 You feel like you're going to catch it.
01:49:43.000 Wow.
01:49:44.000 Yeah.
01:49:45.000 So they finally figured it out.
01:49:46.000 Yeah.
01:49:47.000 Well, yeah, they've had it for a while.
01:49:49.000 They just haven't had the consumer-based one, you know?
01:49:51.000 And they've got to like – the other interesting thing in one of the other interviews I saw is they're talking about when they're releasing it.
01:49:56.000 And they say obviously they can't release it until people design games for it.
01:50:00.000 And it's not as simple as just plugging it into a game because the size ratios are off in a game.
01:50:07.000 The characters running around in the game are either bigger than a human would be or generally smaller than a human would be.
01:50:13.000 So for it to really work, you've got to design the thing around an actual human size.
01:50:18.000 So it's really strange. 0.99
01:50:21.000 They've got to go through and redesign games based on this fucking thing. 0.99
01:50:25.000 Nobody works harder and longer hours than game designers. 1.00
01:50:29.000 Goddamn, I know. 0.99
01:50:29.000 Those guys work some crazy hours. 0.99
01:50:32.000 You remember when we were hanging out with Cliffy B, and it was getting close to the release of one of their games, and they said they would just sleep in the office?
01:50:38.000 They would just sleep in the office and work for weeks at a time.
01:50:41.000 And loved ones would come and visit them at work.
01:50:44.000 They would just be gone.
01:50:45.000 They'd be at work forever.
01:50:46.000 Just to meet a deadline, to get a game out.
01:50:49.000 That's crazy.
01:50:50.000 The world of video game development.
01:50:52.000 That's a lot of hours.
01:50:53.000 That's a difficult thing.
01:50:55.000 And it's so weird that those guys don't have an Oscars.
01:50:59.000 That's going to be in the future.
01:51:00.000 Now we get these guys who regurgitate lines somebody wrote, and we're like, oh, great.
01:51:04.000 What about these people who are gods creating virtual universes that you can run around inside of?
01:51:10.000 Yeah, that's no joke.
01:51:12.000 With code!
01:51:13.000 Yeah, with code. 1.00
01:51:14.000 With fucking code. 1.00
01:51:15.000 They have to type lines of code that... 1.00
01:51:19.000 Invoke virtual reality.
01:51:20.000 They're summoning alternate dimensions with code.
01:51:24.000 Yeah, it's insane. 0.97
01:51:26.000 And then you're going to be able to pop on a fucking Oculus Rift and suddenly be existing inside of World of Warcraft. 0.97
01:51:32.000 I call that my last day on Earth. 0.98
01:51:35.000 Do you know how nuts that's going to be?
01:51:37.000 That and the hamster wheel. 0.62
01:51:38.000 So you feel like you're walking. 1.00
01:51:39.000 That's the one fucking problem, man. 0.99
01:51:41.000 That's going to be the final thing. 0.99
01:51:43.000 I think they'll just create a warehouse.
01:51:46.000 All you need is a gigantic warehouse space.
01:51:49.000 So you have a warehouse space and you design the virtual reality game for whatever the space is.
01:51:54.000 Say it's an airplane hangar. 0.99
01:51:55.000 Giant fucking Costco sized building with no trees, no nothing. 0.99
01:52:00.000 Or wherever pole is, you just replace it with a tree. 0.99
01:52:03.000 And boom! 0.98
01:52:04.000 You're off to the races.
01:52:05.000 And so you stay inside this building and you live in a reality totally created for this building. 1.00
01:52:10.000 Or you just plug some shit into the back of your brain stem that makes you feel like you're moving and gradually just transform into a big fat lard. 0.85
01:52:18.000 Yeah, and the other problem was if you had a warehouse, the real problem would be the only things that you would come in contact with are things that are touching the floor. 0.96
01:52:28.000 You couldn't really come in contact with anything physical in a virtual reality sense unless you're dealing with some sort of recreated neural impulse, right?
01:52:37.000 Like a fake touch.
01:52:39.000 Yeah.
01:52:39.000 A fake, yeah.
01:52:41.000 It's got to be a fake.
01:52:42.000 I mean, you can't, you either, you would either have to have someone in like, there's a ball, a virtual reality ball thing you can roll and I've seen it.
01:52:48.000 But you either have to have something like that or you would have to simulate a sense of movement.
01:52:52.000 Or you'd have to have your brain, your body convinced that it's actually touching a tree so it feels a tree.
01:52:58.000 Yeah.
01:52:58.000 Maybe if it was so convincing that your fingers responded to it.
01:53:04.000 Yeah.
01:53:05.000 Gloves that you put on.
01:53:06.000 That doesn't make any sense though.
01:53:07.000 No, it would be some form.
01:53:08.000 If you went to touch a tree and it wasn't there, your fingers would just go right through it.
01:53:10.000 It would have to stop it.
01:53:12.000 It'd have to be a magnetic field that conformed to some kind of shape.
01:53:16.000 It would have to be some way that something you're wearing responds to a magnetic field and it creates the sense of a shape being there.
01:53:25.000 Something like that.
01:53:26.000 Porn's going to be amazing. 0.61
01:53:28.000 Porn is going to be amazing. 1.00
01:53:29.000 Yeah, it's going to be just insane fucking. 1.00
01:53:31.000 You're going to be able to dial up a bunch of people just blowing you all at once, like fighting over a spot on your dick. 1.00
01:53:37.000 It's going to be... 1.00
01:53:39.000 Like, hmm, what would I like today?
01:53:40.000 Monogamous relationship? 0.68
01:53:42.000 Ronda Rousey.
01:53:44.000 It's weird to think that the one industry that's never gonna stop making money is Kleenex. 0.96
01:53:49.000 It's just gonna always fucking exist.
01:53:53.000 Well, people get biodegradable, man. 0.95
01:53:54.000 They just go with washable towels. 0.96
01:53:56.000 Socks.
01:53:56.000 Nothing wrong with some hemp towels.
01:53:58.000 Clean off your loads.
01:54:03.000 Yeah, there's never going to be an end to that.
01:54:06.000 There's always going to be cleanup.
01:54:07.000 Always got to wipe your loads.
01:54:08.000 And as you go tantric, and you absorb them all inside your body, and you become even stronger! 0.69
01:54:14.000 Isn't that the idea of tantric?
01:54:16.000 That you like, you hold on your lows and your body reabsorbs them.
01:54:20.000 Yeah.
01:54:20.000 So you come, you orgasm for like hours.
01:54:22.000 Hours. 0.87
01:54:23.000 Internally. 1.00
01:54:24.000 Does that shit work? 1.00
01:54:24.000 Have you tried it? 1.00
01:54:25.000 I don't know if that works, but I know that there's a woman who had a disease where she constantly orgasmed and she wanted to kill herself. 1.00
01:54:31.000 Yeah, right. 1.00
01:54:32.000 Bragging bitch. 1.00
01:54:34.000 She's fine. 1.00
01:54:34.000 She's like, oh my god, I'm coming again. 1.00
01:54:36.000 I want to kill myself. 1.00
01:54:37.000 No, she's in hell. 1.00
01:54:38.000 Have you seen that interview?
01:54:39.000 She's in hell. 0.85
01:54:40.000 Stop it. 0.92
01:54:41.000 Stop it. 1.00
01:54:41.000 She's putting on an axe so those bitches who can't cum don't kill her. 1.00
01:54:45.000 So that's the only way she can exist with her wealth of orgasms, her wealth of cumming. 1.00
01:54:52.000 She's like existing amongst the cum impoverished. 1.00
01:54:55.000 Women who never come and just all day just... 1.00
01:54:57.000 That's what women want to do. 1.00
01:54:59.000 They want to come.
01:54:59.000 If you could come all day, you would come all day.
01:55:02.000 If you could come with the same feeling, the same like release that you do when you haven't jerked off for like a week. 0.73
01:55:10.000 You know that? 0.99
01:55:11.000 When you jerk off with like... 0.99
01:55:13.000 It comes powering out. 0.98
01:55:15.000 I mean, it's like there's a lot of force behind it.
01:55:17.000 You get some distance.
01:55:18.000 If you could do that three or four times a day, you would do it.
01:55:21.000 You'd be doing it constantly.
01:55:22.000 If you have the same release every time.
01:55:23.000 This is something I always thought is, of course, yeah, like if there was like an orgasm pill where you're taking, you have a nine-hour orgasm. 0.99
01:55:30.000 But this woman made me think that, shit, maybe that's not, wouldn't that? 1.00
01:55:34.000 No, it looked like she was in hell. 1.00
01:55:36.000 Would it be too intense?
01:55:37.000 Maybe she's one of those chicks who just complains about everything. 1.00
01:55:40.000 Can you imagine just peeing? 1.00
01:55:41.000 Wouldn't it be cool just to pee cum, though? 0.99
01:55:43.000 Like a minute-long pee of just cum. 0.99
01:55:47.000 That would be crazy. 0.99
01:55:48.000 That would be crazy. 0.99
01:55:49.000 There's so much more mass to cum. 0.98
01:55:51.000 Where would you be storing it all? 0.99
01:55:52.000 You'd watch your whole body just e-flam.
01:55:55.000 Your toilet would be like a lava lamp. 0.66
01:55:57.000 Your torso just shrinks down. 0.97
01:55:59.000 You were like 60% loads.
01:56:02.000 I just backed up your toilets, overflowing with loads piled onto the floor. 0.83
01:56:07.000 I joked around about imagine if sperm just ran. 1.00
01:56:11.000 Like you shot your load out and they just fucking ran around the house just trying to find a uterus. 1.00
01:56:15.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:56:15.000 If they didn't stay put, they ran like ants. 1.00
01:56:17.000 Well, yeah.
01:56:18.000 Maybe somebody out there on the internet can help us figure this out.
01:56:22.000 But based on the size of individual sperm, how big would a giant have to be to shoot a load where you could see the sperm swimming inside of it? 0.56
01:56:32.000 Wow.
01:56:32.000 There's a boy that died.
01:56:33.000 He supposedly masturbated 42 times in a day and he died. 0.94
01:56:37.000 Yeah, that's in Brazil, right? 0.93
01:56:39.000 Who knows if that's true?
01:56:41.000 Somebody could have just made that up.
01:56:42.000 How does that kill you? 1.00
01:56:43.000 How does he like jerking off? 0.99
01:56:45.000 That's not what killed him. 0.99
01:56:46.000 If it killed him, he probably didn't eat. 0.99
01:56:47.000 Or he starved to death, or he fucking fell and hit his head because he was tired. 1.00
01:56:52.000 How's jerking off going to kill you? 1.00
01:56:53.000 I don't even understand what you're saying. 1.00
01:56:55.000 Maybe you would like the abrasions cause you to bleed out.
01:56:58.000 Sigh.
01:56:58.000 I don't know.
01:57:00.000 I'm looking for...
01:57:02.000 I wanted to go back to that aspartame thing, because I'm looking at aspartame, and when you look on the Wikipedia, it doesn't seem like it's that dangerous.
01:57:11.000 Well, I mean, if it was slightly dangerous, I would be in Coke Zero, you know? 0.97
01:57:16.000 Well, yeah, you gotta wonder, like, how many fucking people are taking it. 0.97
01:57:20.000 I think it's just, like, the... 0.99
01:57:23.000 Look at Tammy Faye Baker, late stage cancer videos.
01:57:26.000 Is that from Diet Coke?
01:57:28.000 She was addicted to Diet Coke and there's no correlation, no connection.
01:57:31.000 I mean, except for the fact that she drank, she was one of those people who was addicted to Diet Coke and drank boatloads of it. 0.99
01:57:38.000 No, I'm not saying there's a correlation.
01:57:40.000 She could have been super, super unhealthy in all sorts of ways anyway. 1.00
01:57:44.000 Yeah, there's just something… It's never been proven.
01:57:46.000 It's never been proven, but there is – I think there is like a – some people do think that Diet Coke, like you just said, causes cancer. 0.97
01:57:56.000 And she drank a fuckload. 1.00
01:57:58.000 It was like her – she would have like something – some ridiculous amount like 15 a day or 20 a day, like more than you should ever have. 1.00
01:58:07.000 Wow, that crazy bitch. 1.00
01:58:09.000 Do you remember, rest of her soul, do you remember when that whole Jim Baker, Tammy Faye Baker controversy was going on? 1.00
01:58:16.000 Oh yeah.
01:58:17.000 That was brilliant stuff in the 1980s, man.
01:58:20.000 That was brilliant stuff.
01:58:22.000 What was the thing?
01:58:23.000 God was going to kill him if he didn't get a certain donation level or something?
01:58:27.000 Is that what his thing was?
01:58:28.000 Well, his thing, I don't know.
01:58:30.000 I don't know what happened there.
01:58:32.000 But it was basically just an affair, right?
01:58:34.000 It was an affair with Jessica Hahn.
01:58:37.000 I don't know why it became so popular.
01:58:38.000 Why did it become so popular?
01:58:40.000 Because that was new back in the day.
01:58:41.000 Nobody was having affairs like that.
01:58:43.000 Yeah, I guess that's what it was.
01:58:45.000 It's funny.
01:58:46.000 When you look at it now, it's so tame.
01:58:48.000 Right.
01:58:48.000 What, affairs?
01:58:49.000 Well, an affair by a preacher with a secretary.
01:58:52.000 It would never be something that we would talk about 30 years from now if it happened today.
01:58:55.000 No.
01:58:57.000 It's like, finally we got one.
01:58:59.000 Remember, what's-his-face got busted. 0.85
01:59:01.000 Jimmy Swagger got busted with a prostitute, and he was crying about how he sinned.
01:59:05.000 Have you ever seen that?
01:59:06.000 Have you seen him crying?
01:59:08.000 I have sinned.
01:59:09.000 Yeah.
01:59:09.000 It's beautiful.
01:59:11.000 It's so beautiful.
01:59:12.000 It's like one of the most...
01:59:13.000 Insincere things you can see a person do in their life, and when you watch it, it sort of inoculates you to insincerity.
01:59:19.000 So you get to look at it and go, oh, that's what it looks like.
01:59:22.000 No connection to reality, no emotional connection to their words, no connection to me as a person receiving these words.
01:59:30.000 It's almost sociopathic.
01:59:31.000 It's sociopathic and it's craziness.
01:59:34.000 And he's like, I've sinned.
01:59:36.000 It's beautiful.
01:59:38.000 It's beautiful.
01:59:38.000 It's one of my favorite things to watch.
01:59:40.000 Let's watch.
01:59:40.000 I haven't seen it in a long time.
01:59:41.000 Yeah, pull it up, pull it up, pull it up.
01:59:42.000 Jimmy Swaggart apologizes. 1.00
01:59:45.000 Poor silly bitch. 1.00
01:59:46.000 And then there was the other guy who said he saw a 900-foot Jesus in the middle of the desert. 1.00
01:59:51.000 Jesus.
01:59:52.000 That's what I was thinking.
01:59:53.000 Billy Rod.
01:59:53.000 No, no.
01:59:54.000 One of them was like legit.
01:59:57.000 Jimmy Swagger is the guy who got busted.
01:59:59.000 Who saw the 900-foot Jesus?
02:00:01.000 I don't know, man.
02:00:02.000 You don't follow me?
02:00:03.000 Your religious coots? 0.86
02:00:05.000 No, I like them, though.
02:00:06.000 They're amazing to watch.
02:00:09.000 You like that Dollar guy?
02:00:11.000 Creflo Dollar? 1.00
02:00:12.000 I record his shit. 1.00
02:00:14.000 I know you're talking. 1.00
02:00:16.000 I record his shit because it's so ridiculous. 1.00
02:00:18.000 I want to address myself as best as I know how. 1.00
02:00:25.000 To those that I have wronged, that I have sinned against. 0.99
02:00:30.000 He would go out and get hookers. 1.00
02:00:32.000 First of all, my wife, Frances. 0.81
02:00:39.000 God never gave a man a better helpmate and companion. 0.99
02:00:48.000 With the possible exception of that sleazy hooker. 1.00
02:00:52.000 Oh, Brian, what is this? 0.99
02:00:56.000 Why are you playing this one, man? 1.00
02:00:57.000 Don't play this stupid shit. 1.00
02:00:59.000 That's not even funny. 1.00
02:01:05.000 Yeah, don't put this fucking parody bullshit on. 1.00
02:01:10.000 It's just cool watching him cry. 1.00
02:01:13.000 It may be dark days for the Swaggart Church, but as the sky clears...
02:01:17.000 Oh, even better when English people are talking about you.
02:01:19.000 There you go.
02:01:20.000 There he is.
02:01:21.000 And I would ask that your precious blood...
02:01:25.000 Today they knew all the details. 1.00
02:01:27.000 Ah, fuck! 1.00
02:01:29.000 Oh, man. 1.00
02:01:31.000 These motherfucking false prophets. 0.99
02:01:35.000 Yeah, it's an interesting thing that we have this just deep, deep, deep desire to believe that someone has answers. 0.99
02:01:44.000 Leadership addiction.
02:01:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:01:46.000 Well, it's chimpanzee shit, right? 1.00
02:01:48.000 Yes. 1.00
02:01:48.000 Leftover chimp shit? 1.00
02:01:50.000 Well, it's... 1.00
02:01:50.000 No, it's the guy... 1.00
02:01:52.000 The thing is, man, there is a underneath everything There is, I think, this is what makes me different from a lot of people.
02:02:01.000 I think some people don't believe this.
02:02:02.000 I think underneath everything, there's an intelligence that's filled with love.
02:02:08.000 That's just love.
02:02:08.000 That thing when you're on DMT and saying, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
02:02:11.000 I think that thing is real.
02:02:13.000 And I think that that thing, you don't need a leader.
02:02:16.000 You don't need someone to tell you what that thing's saying to you.
02:02:19.000 It's your own relationship with that thing and how closely you can approximate what that thing is saying that defines your level of happiness. 0.96
02:02:27.000 In this incarnation and there's there's people like that who falsely represent that thing who don't you've never really experienced it and that's why it seems like bullshit and Yeah, it seems like bullshit to everybody who hasn't experienced it.
02:02:40.000 And when you run into extremely angry people that just have pitfall after pitfall in their life and miserable experience after miserable experience, you realize that they're just so far separated from the frequency of happiness. 0.98
02:02:58.000 And that sounds like some hippie bullshit. 0.97
02:03:00.000 The frequency of happiness, really? 1.00
02:03:02.000 Hey man, some people just live in an economic downturn where there's a shitty economy where they live and there's no jobs and they were born ugly so they're fucked. 1.00
02:03:11.000 Yeah, that too. 1.00
02:03:13.000 But there's also people that live like that that are happy as fuck. 1.00
02:03:16.000 Yes! 0.99
02:03:16.000 In that same environment and they have great friends and wonderful experiences with their loved ones and they're not constantly embroiled in bullshit because they've figured out a way to orchestrate their environment. 0.99
02:03:26.000 And that's one thing that we somehow or another are sort of responsible for doing.
02:03:32.000 Exactly, man.
02:03:33.000 I mean, that's the important thing.
02:03:34.000 The point that you're making there, that's the most important point, is that it's like, sure, you're going to have catastrophes in life.
02:03:41.000 Everyone has catastrophes.
02:03:42.000 That doesn't mean you're bad.
02:03:44.000 That doesn't mean you're wrong or that you're cursed or anything.
02:03:47.000 All that matters is how you react to that.
02:03:51.000 And the only way that you're going to react to that in any kind of way that's Not terrified is if you found a way to feel grateful.
02:04:01.000 This is something Tom Green said about getting cancer.
02:04:04.000 It's this amazing description of the feeling that comes when you have cancer.
02:04:10.000 He said it's a combination of terror and gratitude. 0.99
02:04:15.000 You know, and it's like, because once you get it and you get past it, you're like, fuck, I get to live. 0.96
02:04:19.000 It really is this sense of like, my God, what a beautiful thing this is to exist. 0.84
02:04:23.000 The terror thing is never going to go away.
02:04:25.000 As long as you're living in space, you're going to be terrified. 0.99
02:04:28.000 We're in a fucking void. 1.00
02:04:29.000 Meteors hit us, et cetera, et cetera. 0.99
02:04:31.000 But there is, once you find that real gratitude, not gratitude where people shake their finger at you, you should be grateful. 0.99
02:04:38.000 But when you really plug into that fucking thing, goddammit, man, everything lights up. 0.98
02:04:42.000 It doesn't matter if you're – what the thing is that's happening to you. 1.00
02:04:46.000 You lose your job.
02:04:46.000 Your wife is cheating on you.
02:04:47.000 You're cheating on you. 1.00
02:04:48.000 Whatever the thing is, if you plug into that underlying thing, fuck. 0.99
02:04:52.000 It's a beautiful, beautiful place and it's a very subversive idea, the idea that everything is OK and that behind everything is just this field of – Just the happiness frequency. 0.93
02:05:04.000 But there's that stuck feeling and that's the hardest thing to overcome in life when you've started out in a certain direction and you've gotten fairly far in your life but you're really miserable and you have a lot of obligations and you have a lot of expectations and bills and a lot of issues that keep you in this certain shitty environment and people don't know how to manage that and I think that's why one of the most important things to stress Is get off on the right track as quickly as you can
02:05:34.000 with your life.
02:05:35.000 And by the right track, I mean whatever the right track is for you. 1.00
02:05:39.000 I don't want to say don't listen to your parents because you might be an idiot and your parents might be dead right. 1.00
02:05:45.000 But you might have an idea that your parents can't wrap their fucking puny brains around too. 1.00
02:05:50.000 You might be talented in one way, shape, or form that your father doesn't want to see his creation go off to be. 0.99
02:05:58.000 And ultimately you are your own person.
02:06:00.000 You really... 0.77
02:06:02.000 There's so many people that have lived their life for other people and they're miserable.
02:06:06.000 I've never met an ecstatic son of the owner of a business who runs the business with his father.
02:06:12.000 I always see a man who probably would rather have carved his own path in life and is just caught up in the wake of another man because that other man raised him.
02:06:21.000 But you see a guy who runs his own joint and they're fucking happy and they have zest and Whatever they're doing, whether they run a pizza place.
02:06:30.000 I've met guys.
02:06:31.000 There's a deli that I go to all the time in Canoga Park, Cabaretta's. 0.98
02:06:36.000 Dave, nicest fucking guy in the world. 0.97
02:06:37.000 He's always smiling, laughing. 0.99
02:06:39.000 The people there are happy.
02:06:40.000 It's his joint, you know what I mean?
02:06:42.000 It could be anything.
02:06:43.000 It could be a restaurant. 1.00
02:06:44.000 It could be a fucking Starbucks that's just hooked up right. 1.00
02:06:48.000 It's your spot. 1.00
02:06:49.000 People like going there.
02:06:51.000 It's like a little spot where people can...
02:06:54.000 Have their own little positive, happy energy.
02:06:56.000 As long as that's what you want to do. 1.00
02:06:58.000 If you want to really run a Starbucks or run a coffee shop or run a fucking jazz studio, who gives a shit? 1.00
02:07:04.000 Whatever the fuck you're drawn to, you've got to do that, man. 1.00
02:07:08.000 That's so fucking important. 0.99
02:07:10.000 And people with their... 0.98
02:07:11.000 There are escape clauses and fucking parachute plans and, well, I can always pull out if this doesn't work and I gotta back up here and then I gotta back up there. 0.97
02:07:23.000 Man, you better not back up too much, but you gotta travel light. 0.97
02:07:27.000 You gotta travel light psychically.
02:07:29.000 You have to have very, very few options. 0.91
02:07:31.000 If you really want to make whatever the fuck it is happen, you have to have very few options. 0.91
02:07:36.000 I love this. 0.89
02:07:38.000 Remember when we first got to be friends? 0.99
02:07:40.000 You said something to me when I was sitting at that fucking desk working as a talent coordinator. 0.99
02:07:45.000 Stuck as stuck could be, dude. 1.00
02:07:47.000 Like, really fucking stuck. 0.99
02:07:49.000 You know, I, like... 0.94
02:07:50.000 I can still remember.
02:07:51.000 Flash, you know, like when people will say things to you sometimes and your brain goes...
02:07:55.000 And takes a picture.
02:07:56.000 It freeze frames it because it's like...
02:07:58.000 You listen to that.
02:07:59.000 Listen to that. 0.99
02:08:00.000 And I remember sitting there talking to you at this shitty fucking desk job and you're like... 1.00
02:08:05.000 You just gotta jump, man. 1.00
02:08:08.000 You just gotta go for it.
02:08:09.000 You just gotta jump in.
02:08:10.000 You just gotta go for it.
02:08:12.000 And man, that, uh...
02:08:15.000 I knew you were right, but goddammit what a terrifying thing it is to hear that at first. 0.99
02:08:21.000 It's a terrifying fucking thing. 0.98
02:08:24.000 And maybe making like, if I jumped right when you said that, it might not have been the greatest time. 0.99
02:08:30.000 You do have to have a little bit of strategy involved in it.
02:08:32.000 But yeah, there is where you are right now, and there is where you want to be, and the distance between those two things will create a vertigo.
02:08:42.000 Well, you had the most important thing.
02:08:43.000 Which is the thing that you wanted to do, you were good at.
02:08:46.000 You wanted to be a comedian, you were funny.
02:08:48.000 You were creative, you were original.
02:08:50.000 So that was the most important thing and the most difficult thing to get.
02:08:54.000 I was like, this other stuff is what's holding you back.
02:08:56.000 What you need to be doing is just focusing on this thing because you're awesome at it.
02:08:59.000 All you have to do is just do it. 0.99
02:09:00.000 The ability to do it correctly, once achieved, doesn't really go away unless you lose the fucking plot. 0.98
02:09:08.000 You lose the frequency in life. 0.96
02:09:09.000 If you're a comic, I expect to get better.
02:09:13.000 I feel like I've had better sets these last couple of months than I've ever had in my life.
02:09:19.000 I've had better moments.
02:09:20.000 I think my moments are better.
02:09:22.000 I think new bits are coming together in a better way.
02:09:26.000 I'm super, super pleased with things.
02:09:28.000 Because I'm concentrating on it, because I've worked at it for a couple of decades. 0.99
02:09:32.000 And I think that as long as you recognize that that's what happens, that as long as you live your life the way we were talking earlier, the right way, without too much bullshit and distractions, Too many negative karmic moments that flood you with regret and fuck with your creativity. 0.97
02:09:49.000 That's one of the most important things about being creative. 0.98
02:09:53.000 One of the most important things for me is being nice.
02:09:55.000 When I'm like as nice to as many people as I can and I'm as easy-going as possible and as forgiving as possible, I am the most happy.
02:10:05.000 I'm my most happiest when I'm dealing with people and like being forgiving and being friendly.
02:10:11.000 And then I have less shit on my mind And then I can tune in to creativity.
02:10:16.000 Because I don't understand exactly where my creativity comes from. 0.98
02:10:21.000 But in a lifetime of trying to figure out what frequency I tune into when I do my best.
02:10:31.000 Whether it's drawing, or whether it's writing, or anything creative.
02:10:35.000 For me, I have to have all these ducks in a row.
02:10:38.000 And the big duck is my own psychic...
02:10:43.000 I don't want to say psychic, but my own consciousness, my appraisal of my own consciousness.
02:10:49.000 How am I interacting with this world that I'm finding myself in?
02:10:53.000 Am I out of control? 0.99
02:10:55.000 Am I fucking too much gas, not enough brakes? 0.99
02:10:57.000 Am I too much brakes, not enough gas? 0.99
02:10:59.000 Am I holding myself back?
02:11:01.000 Am I limiting myself with my diet?
02:11:03.000 Am I limiting myself with my actions?
02:11:05.000 Am I limiting myself with my...
02:11:07.000 What am I doing?
02:11:08.000 Is everything cool?
02:11:10.000 Okay.
02:11:10.000 Now, if everything is cool, then I can go to work.
02:11:13.000 But if everything's not cool, I have to figure out what the fuck's not cool and fix that.
02:11:17.000 And if I don't fix that, it'll be bumpy. 0.98
02:11:20.000 The whole thing will be me trying to duct tape this fucking ship together while it reenters orbit and fucking keep everything from falling apart. 0.97
02:11:27.000 But as long as you give yourself an honest assessment of how you're thinking and how you're interacting with the world, That's where it gets fucking hard to do. 0.99
02:11:38.000 It's hard to take that first step and give yourself an honest look at yourself.
02:11:44.000 And then once you do that, then it has to sort of become an ethic.
02:11:48.000 And you gotta welcome it when other people do it, too.
02:11:50.000 Even haters.
02:11:51.000 When haters point something out about you that's correct, You know, you gotta, like, accept that.
02:11:56.000 Like, yeah, sometimes they get you.
02:11:58.000 Sometimes they're right.
02:11:59.000 You know, you did something douchey, or you were a little weird there, or you could have reacted a different way.
02:12:04.000 And it doesn't even necessarily mean you're meant to.
02:12:07.000 Like, sometimes you just, you pick door number two, and it's like, what am I even saying this for?
02:12:11.000 Like, you start saying something, it doesn't even represent necessarily how you feel.
02:12:16.000 It's just...
02:12:17.000 A possibility of how to react, and all of a sudden you're off to the races.
02:12:21.000 And then you're like, nah, but you know, how many times have we said that in the conversation?
02:12:24.000 Well, maybe that doesn't make sense. 1.00
02:12:26.000 Fuck it. 1.00
02:12:26.000 You know, it's like you don't even know sometimes when you're saying things. 1.00
02:12:29.000 But when someone calls you out on that, it's probably good for you. 0.90
02:12:34.000 It's not good for them, because a lot of times haters get fucking completely worked. 1.00
02:12:38.000 I hope you suck to death on a million dicks and you drown in a world of semen and AIDS. These are the people that get completely ridiculous with their hate. 1.00
02:12:47.000 And almost all of them are losers. 1.00
02:12:50.000 That's a real problem. 0.99
02:12:51.000 When you look at what a hater is, there's no successful haters. 0.99
02:12:54.000 There's no, like, Bill Clinton's not fucking commenting on YouTube videos, fucking queer, you know? 1.00
02:12:59.000 No one who actually accomplished anything is a hater, but being a hater is important for people that are trying to accomplish things. 0.97
02:13:09.000 Having critics and hate can actually help you and fuel you and make you aware of the broad spectrum of human behavior, especially in a void of love and absence of the correct.
02:13:22.000 You don't lash out like that unless you are in an absence.
02:13:26.000 Unless you have an absence of love An absence of personal pride and accomplishment.
02:13:30.000 An absence of feeling good.
02:13:32.000 Like you don't feel good so you lash out.
02:13:34.000 Because if you wanted to, you could find something every day that you hated and just fill your day with hate.
02:13:40.000 All day.
02:13:41.000 Anger and hate.
02:13:42.000 You could just do that.
02:13:43.000 You could just do that. 1.00
02:13:45.000 But you only do that if you're an idiot. 1.00
02:13:48.000 Yes. 1.00
02:13:49.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:13:51.000 Well, you idiot is not... 1.00
02:13:52.000 It's not even idiot. 1.00
02:13:53.000 It shouldn't be idiot. 1.00
02:13:55.000 You're stuck in a terrible pattern. 1.00
02:13:57.000 Yeah, you're stuck in a pattern.
02:13:58.000 Terrible pattern that is...
02:14:00.000 It doesn't help you in any way, shape, or form.
02:14:04.000 And in fact, it limits you by keeping you in this sort of negative...
02:14:12.000 Mindset.
02:14:12.000 It's hard for me to relate to those haters, you know, the new internet breed of haters because I didn't have that when I was...
02:14:19.000 Like a lot of douchebags I can relate to because I can think, oh yeah, I was that kind of douchebag. 0.97
02:14:25.000 I know what that kind of douchebag is. 0.90
02:14:26.000 But internet haters is more difficult, you know, like tweet haters. 0.65
02:14:32.000 But I've noticed that if you get hate tweets, I'll go to their timeline sometimes.
02:14:38.000 They're all hate.
02:14:38.000 And it's all hate.
02:14:39.000 You scan down and it's just one vile thing to as many.
02:14:42.000 It's like they've got a list of people and they just are like launching vileness at as many people as they can.
02:14:48.000 It's a strange, not just like one every five.
02:14:51.000 It's like if you have 48 tweets in a row, you've gone beyond irony. 0.99
02:14:56.000 Now you're just, you're crazy. 1.00
02:14:58.000 Like now you're just some weird lunatic firing missiles into the void for no reason. 1.00
02:15:04.000 It's very strange, man. 0.98
02:15:06.000 Yeah, and you're choosing to do that.
02:15:08.000 You're choosing to try to reach out and affect someone in a negative way instead of concentrating on your own life.
02:15:15.000 You have made it more important to do that than anything else you were doing right then because you chose it.
02:15:23.000 You chose it.
02:15:24.000 As you're writing those things, you chose it above any self-improvement you were doing, any creative work you were doing, any business work you were doing, any personal emails you got to get out.
02:15:36.000 No, no, no.
02:15:36.000 You chose to call someone a terrible name on Twitter.
02:15:40.000 You chose to say, I hope this dumb cunt drowns in a river of AIDS. You decided to put that on Twitter. 1.00
02:15:47.000 That was your choice at that moment.
02:15:49.000 Unless it's really funny.
02:15:51.000 If it's funny, then it's different.
02:15:53.000 If it's funny, you're not going to have 50. You know what I mean?
02:15:55.000 If it's funny, you want to have 50. But it's like, when you go and look, and not only has the person just insulted you, there's an insult to like, weird, to fucking, yeah, just like Anderson Cooper. 0.97
02:16:06.000 I've seen these texts to Bieber dudes who say they want to kick Bieber's ass. 1.00
02:16:11.000 Idiots. 1.00
02:16:11.000 Really? 1.00
02:16:12.000 Idiots. 1.00
02:16:13.000 MMA fighters are constantly dealing with them. 1.00
02:16:15.000 And they'll troll you.
02:16:17.000 They'll get you locked in on an argument and then you go back and forth.
02:16:22.000 One of them I thought was really hilarious was there's a woman who's a comedy writer and she got in an online Twitter feud with Chris Brown.
02:16:30.000 Oh yeah.
02:16:31.000 Yeah.
02:16:31.000 Jenny, what's her name?
02:16:33.000 I can't remember, but shit. 0.99
02:16:35.000 She's very funny, and people are like, he viciously attacked her. 0.99
02:16:39.000 And that's what I read.
02:16:40.000 I go, why would he do that? 0.98
02:16:41.000 So then I read it, and he's like, damn, I'm looking old. 1.00
02:16:45.000 And she goes, yeah, isn't it funny being a complete piece of shit as a human being tends to age you? 1.00
02:16:51.000 I'm paraphrasing. 1.00
02:16:52.000 I don't know exactly how she said it.
02:16:54.000 And then he went at her and this and that, but she started it.
02:16:58.000 He didn't beat her up.
02:17:00.000 Years later, to have someone sniping at you constantly has got to be annoying.
02:17:05.000 And I'm not sticking up for Chris Brown in any way, shape, or form, or anybody that beats up their girlfriend.
02:17:10.000 But she started it.
02:17:12.000 She decided to tag him in that and tweet him. 1.00
02:17:17.000 And fuck with him and get him to react to her. 0.99
02:17:19.000 And everybody's like, oh, he viciously attacked her. 1.00
02:17:22.000 Like, listen, don't put your finger in the cage if you don't want to get bit.
02:17:25.000 You know he beats up women, okay?
02:17:27.000 And what are you doing?
02:17:28.000 What are you doing by stirring it up with him?
02:17:30.000 Well, that's bull baiting. 0.99
02:17:31.000 Yeah, it's bull baiting.
02:17:32.000 She won.
02:17:33.000 Exactly.
02:17:33.000 She instigated a dummy.
02:17:35.000 The dummy reacted.
02:17:37.000 She analyzed his psychology. 0.97
02:17:38.000 She knows this is a man who will swing at a lady. 1.00
02:17:41.000 She came at him with some sassy shit. 1.00
02:17:44.000 And it's like throwing salmon in front of a bear. 1.00
02:17:47.000 Clearly.
02:17:48.000 But that's not how they reported it.
02:17:50.000 It was he viciously went after her.
02:17:52.000 Viciously attacked her.
02:17:52.000 Like she was weeping under her teeth.
02:17:53.000 Verbally attacked her.
02:17:54.000 I mean, she started it.
02:17:55.000 She was dancing in joy.
02:17:56.000 She knew what she was doing.
02:17:57.000 In joy. 1.00
02:17:58.000 The moment that dum-dum responded to her, she must have done a fucking tap dance. 1.00
02:18:01.000 I wonder because I would think that if there's a guy who's like really violent and you're a woman, I would think just the fact that that guy knows who you are, you can't defend yourself if you ever ran into him. 0.99
02:18:11.000 Chris Brown?
02:18:12.000 Yes, absolutely. 1.00
02:18:13.000 You don't think if Chris Brown, if she said a bunch of mean shit about him and he saw her somewhere, he might palm her face or push her out of his face. 1.00
02:18:20.000 You mean he might buy her a mansion? 0.99
02:18:21.000 I'm saying if no one was around.
02:18:24.000 No one was around.
02:18:25.000 In her mind, she has to realize that if she ran into that guy and no one was there to protect her and there was no security cameras, there was no witnesses, he might do something to her.
02:18:34.000 That's reality, okay?
02:18:35.000 And that feeling is why it's dangerous.
02:18:39.000 That feeling is what...
02:18:40.000 I mean, that has to be in her head. 0.99
02:18:42.000 You start fucking with a guy like that that beat up his girlfriend, In her head, she has to know that if her husband isn't there or some... 0.99
02:18:48.000 Maybe if her husband isn't there, I don't know who her husband is. 1.00
02:18:50.000 Her husband might be kind of a pussy. 1.00
02:18:51.000 He might fold under pressure. 1.00
02:18:53.000 I mean, you might run into a situation where it's Chris Brown and you.
02:18:57.000 And then what do you do?
02:18:57.000 What do you do then?
02:18:58.000 Dude, I would have to be so stoned to, like, get to that place. 1.00
02:19:01.000 I would be like, fuck, man. 1.00
02:19:03.000 If I ever ran into... 1.00
02:19:03.000 I hope I don't get attacked by Chris Brown. 1.00
02:19:06.000 You get in an argument with him on Twitter.
02:19:08.000 Dude, I got 99 problems and Chris Brown ain't one. 1.00
02:19:11.000 Well, you're not arguing with him on Twitter where you're a woman and he wants to kick your ass. 1.00
02:19:15.000 I'm not saying he wanted to kick her ass, but I'm saying if you know a man has already beat up a woman and then she's now locked in online in this verbal insult battle back and forth. 1.00
02:19:25.000 He's saying he's going to fart in her mouth. 1.00
02:19:27.000 He's saying he's going to jerk off on her and fart in her mouth and stuff like crazy shit. 1.00
02:19:34.000 To be a chick, that's got to be a little fucking weird. 1.00
02:19:37.000 What about the Black Keys drummer and Justin Bieber? 0.99
02:19:40.000 That was hilarious.
02:19:41.000 Yeah, Patrick Carney did a thing where he said something like, Justin Bieber doesn't deserve an Emmy or something along those lines, and the Bieber fans went after him.
02:19:51.000 So he just starts retweeting all of their stuff with hilarious answers.
02:19:57.000 Always the best.
02:19:58.000 Yeah. 0.97
02:19:58.000 It was really fucking funny. 0.97
02:19:59.000 People sticking up for Bieber are hilarious, man. 0.98
02:20:01.000 But he turned himself into Bieber.
02:20:03.000 He made his photo Bieber and changed his name to Justin Bieber. 0.97
02:20:07.000 And then was like writing swag and all this different shit to people. 0.89
02:20:12.000 Like they would insult him and he would write swag. 0.98
02:20:14.000 Stop trying to pretend to be Bieber.
02:20:16.000 You're not Bieber. 1.00
02:20:16.000 You're a fucking loser. 1.00
02:20:18.000 Swag. 1.00
02:20:22.000 Swag is such a great word to just say like that. 0.97
02:20:26.000 Swag.
02:20:26.000 Especially if you're in a battle with Justin Bieber's fans, if you just say swag.
02:20:31.000 Because he likes saying that.
02:20:33.000 The Bieber army.
02:20:34.000 They attack.
02:20:35.000 Of course.
02:20:36.000 So does the Britney Spears army.
02:20:37.000 Neil Hamburger stirs them up every once in a while where he was getting attacked for a long time by Britney Spears.
02:20:44.000 Well, you remember that.
02:20:45.000 That video with that guy screaming, leave Britney alone. 1.00
02:20:48.000 That was amazing.
02:20:51.000 That video is one of my all-time favorite YouTube videos.
02:20:55.000 The guy's lying on his bed. 1.00
02:20:57.000 He's gayer than a mansion filled with dicks. 1.00
02:21:01.000 And he's just, leave her alone! 1.00
02:21:04.000 Just crying with his hair flopping behind him on the pillow.
02:21:08.000 It's just, it's wonderful.
02:21:10.000 He can't even get out of bed when he's making this. 1.00
02:21:12.000 He's so gay. 1.00
02:21:13.000 He's like drawn to the bed like a piece of metal to a giant magnet. 1.00
02:21:18.000 He's just drawn to a bed like, leave her alone!
02:21:21.000 He can't even get up.
02:21:22.000 He's just crying looking into his camera.
02:21:24.000 Cringe city.
02:21:25.000 That woman we were talking about earlier actually killed herself, Duncan.
02:21:29.000 What woman? 0.99
02:21:30.000 The...
02:21:30.000 Orgasm woman.
02:21:32.000 Mmm.
02:21:32.000 Wow.
02:21:33.000 Betrayed by her body.
02:21:34.000 She lives in agony, not ecstasy. 0.98
02:21:37.000 Warning.
02:21:38.000 Sexual subject matter.
02:21:39.000 Uh-oh.
02:21:39.000 Uh-oh.
02:21:40.000 Get your dick out, boys. 1.00
02:21:41.000 It's just her moaning for... 1.00
02:21:42.000 Let's just jerk off now so we don't feel bad. 1.00
02:21:44.000 My worst day... 0.95
02:21:44.000 I had not had medical treatment yet or any kind of medication. 0.95
02:21:51.000 I had...
02:21:52.000 I had 50 orgasms in a row.
02:21:58.000 In a row. 0.77
02:21:59.000 Nonstop.
02:22:01.000 This is a Saturday lab sketch.
02:22:03.000 I thought I was going to die.
02:22:05.000 Gretchen Malan suffers from persistent genital arousal disorder, a rare condition that makes her physically but not psychologically aroused all the time.
02:22:14.000 Doctors do not agree on what causes it, but they do agree on how debilitating it can be.
02:22:19.000 Gretchen, who lives in Spring Hill, says she can't work. 0.62
02:22:22.000 She has tried to get disability income twice and failed each time.
02:22:26.000 Income.
02:22:26.000 I guess my case had its limited number of appeals.
02:22:30.000 But yeah, she killed herself, I guess, a couple months ago or something.
02:22:33.000 I gotta split, you guys. 1.00
02:22:34.000 That sucks. 0.93
02:22:35.000 I gotta split, too. 0.62
02:22:36.000 We were almost wrapped up here at 6-18.
02:22:39.000 So, alright, man.
02:22:41.000 Well, we have to tell people that you're not going to be with us this weekend. 0.98
02:22:45.000 Unfortunately, it's some really crazy hell shit. 0.99
02:22:49.000 Yeah, my mom's super sick. 0.99
02:22:51.000 I gotta go say goodbye to my mom.
02:22:52.000 Yeah, you're like literally say goodbye, like your mom's dying this weekend, possibly.
02:22:57.000 Possibly, yeah, maybe a few weeks, but I want to like, you know...
02:23:00.000 Make sure you see her.
02:23:01.000 I want to catch her while she's like completely aware.
02:23:04.000 Yeah, folks in Columbus and Cincinnati, Sam Tripoli is going to take Duncan's place, the hilarious Sam Tripoli.
02:23:10.000 So if you want to send Duncan some love, follow him on Twitter.
02:23:13.000 It's Duncan, T-R-U-S-S-E-L-L, and send him some love.
02:23:18.000 Buddy, listen, man.
02:23:19.000 Your health scare freaked me out, man.
02:23:22.000 It really did.
02:23:23.000 I would hate to live this life without you.
02:23:26.000 Thank you, Joe.
02:23:27.000 One of my favorite people.
02:23:28.000 One of my favorite people to talk to.
02:23:30.000 You're just such a unique breath of fresh air in this strange world that we live in.
02:23:37.000 Without you, man, I really think that...
02:23:40.000 My conversations would be less interesting.
02:23:42.000 I've had more interesting conversations with you than I think I've had with anybody ever in life.
02:23:48.000 You've made me think about things.
02:23:50.000 And I know we feed off of each other in some really strange way.
02:23:54.000 We go deeper and weirder when we're together than when we do when we're apart.
02:24:00.000 To me, you're just an awesome dude, man.
02:24:03.000 I love you.
02:24:04.000 I love you, too.
02:24:04.000 I'm honored that we're friends, and you're a very important part of my life.
02:24:07.000 Likewise, Joe.
02:24:08.000 Thank you.
02:24:09.000 Yes, you've definitely accelerated my evolution in an incredible way.
02:24:13.000 And you have mine.
02:24:13.000 We have each other.
02:24:14.000 We all have for each other.
02:24:16.000 That's the reality of...
02:24:20.000 A group of people hanging out that enjoy each other's company and that are all sort of like-minded and, you know, honest about life and sort of trying to get through it together.
02:24:28.000 We help each other.
02:24:30.000 We've created our own community, Duncan Trussell.
02:24:32.000 I think...
02:24:32.000 We're a part of it.
02:24:33.000 Awesome.
02:24:34.000 I'm proud to be.
02:24:34.000 We're all part of it.
02:24:35.000 We're all part of it. 1.00
02:24:36.000 So that's it, you dirty fucks. 1.00
02:24:38.000 Thank you very much for tuning into the podcast. 1.00
02:24:41.000 Thanks to Onnit.com.
02:24:43.000 Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself.
02:24:48.000 10% of any and all supplements thanks to Hover.
02:24:54.000 Hover is one of our new sponsors.
02:25:00.000 Hover is a domain name registration company that has Pretty much you can get your dot-coms there.
02:25:13.000 You can get your dot-nets.
02:25:14.000 It comes with free privacy protection.
02:25:16.000 Yeah, I'm just looking for the hover.com forward slash rogan.
02:25:19.000 That's what it is.
02:25:20.000 Hover.com forward slash rogan.
02:25:21.000 You get 10% off your domain name registrations.
02:25:24.000 And they have some great things like free, whois, privacy, and very easy to use.
02:25:29.000 I used it recently.
02:25:30.000 It's excellent.
02:25:31.000 We support them.
02:25:32.000 And they're owned by the same people that own the team.
02:25:34.000 Go to deskwatt.tv.
02:25:36.000 Brian has all new versions of the kitty cat shirts in.
02:25:40.000 So go get them while they're hot before his new kitty cat gives you nightmares. 0.79
02:25:46.000 Can I say one thing?
02:25:47.000 May I say one thing?
02:25:48.000 Yeah, you can say anything you want.
02:25:49.000 At the end of the month, I'm going on tour no matter what.
02:25:51.000 At the end of the month, I'm going on tour.
02:25:53.000 It's on my website at dunkintrustle.com.
02:25:54.000 East Coast.
02:25:55.000 East Coast, New York.
02:25:57.000 Laughing Skull, Atlanta, Georgia, Boston.
02:25:59.000 It's ten dates.
02:26:00.000 I can't remember them all, but it's at my website.
02:26:02.000 We gotta do something too, man.
02:26:03.000 Anything you're not doing on your own, let's do some more stuff together.
02:26:06.000 Hell yes, man. 1.00
02:26:06.000 Fuck yeah, let's do it. 1.00
02:26:07.000 Let's do it. 1.00
02:26:08.000 Yeah, get up to Toronto, to the Comedy Underground!
02:26:11.000 You know what we gotta do too?
02:26:12.000 We gotta get back to Santa Barbara. 0.98
02:26:13.000 Santa Barbara was fucking badass. 0.99
02:26:15.000 That was badass for sure. 0.99
02:26:16.000 That's an awesome community.
02:26:17.000 Hawaii!
02:26:18.000 Yeah, let's do Hawaii. 0.97
02:26:19.000 Yes! 1.00
02:26:21.000 We got a lot of shit going on. 1.00
02:26:22.000 North Carolina, thanks a lot. 1.00
02:26:23.000 You guys are the shit. 1.00
02:26:24.000 That was a lot of fun. 1.00
02:26:25.000 Alright, you fucks. 0.99
02:26:26.000 We will see you tomorrow. 1.00
02:26:28.000 Same bad time, same bad channel. 0.95
02:26:30.000 We got a lot of crazy shit coming up, including this Sunday when we get back from Columbus. 0.98
02:26:34.000 We have a special podcast with Dr. Stephen Greer at night. 1.00
02:26:38.000 This is the doctor that's fucking communicating with aliens. 0.98
02:26:43.000 He's the one that's responsible for the Disclosure Project. 1.00
02:26:45.000 Ooh! 0.96
02:26:46.000 Yeah, he's putting together all those high-ranking military officials...
02:26:49.000 That's tomorrow?
02:26:50.000 ...that said they've come in contact...
02:26:50.000 No, Sunday.
02:26:51.000 ...that they've come in contact with Alien Life and that we're constantly being contacted by Alien Life. 0.99
02:26:57.000 Yeah, what the fuck, okay? 0.88
02:26:58.000 And he's a smart dude, so this is going to be really fascinating. 0.99
02:27:01.000 Badass. 1.00
02:27:02.000 Fascinating shit, you fucks. 1.00
02:27:03.000 All right, we love ya! 1.00
02:27:05.000 Love ya.
02:27:06.000 God is love.
02:27:07.000 What else, Duncan?
02:27:08.000 Hare Krishna!
02:27:08.000 Hare Krishna.
02:27:09.000 All right. 1.00
02:27:10.000 Keep it together, bitches. 1.00