The Joe Rogan Experience - July 23, 2013


Joe Rogan Experience #376 - Bryan Callen

Topics
Squarespace websites New Mood supplements deep sea fishing tropical bugs simulation theory Florida comedy and musicians Snowden emails intercepted Google Pacific Garbage Patch struggle in comedy career seeing what's inside me religious fundamentalism Michael Hastings conspiracy Rory McDonald Anderson Silva vs
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Bryan Callen
Mentioned
Chris Weidman Anderson Silva Brian Callen Show Hickson Gracie Angel Salazar Carlos Condit Henzo Gracie Joe Rogan Questions Duncan Trussell Mitt Romney Joey Cola Joey Diaz Oprah Hoist Gracie Michael Hastings Geraldo Rivera Nate Marquardt Jackie Flynn Chael Sonnen Bill Gates and 130 more
Joe Rogan Experience #373 - Joey "CoCo" Diaz Joe Rogan Experience #377 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 54 minutes

Words per minute

193.76

Word count

33,862

Sentence count

3,752

Harmful content

Misogyny

80

sentences flagged

Toxicity

732

sentences flagged

Hate speech

46

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian and stand-up comedian Joe Rogan joins the show to talk about his early days in comedy and how he got into standup. They also talk about what it's like to be a standup comedian on the road and what it s like to do standup for a living. Joe also talks about his love of the local Long Island standup scene and why he thinks it s a good idea to go back to Long Island and hang out with some of his old friends. Joe also explains why he doesn't want to stop doing standup and why you should do it even if it's not as much fun as it used to be. And he talks about how he's not going to ever stop doing it, even though it's getting harder and harder to do it. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. If you've never been and you need a website, stop what you're doing and go check it out. It's the easiest way to make a website you don't have to go to somebody anymore. Just go to squarespace.co/JOE7 and you'll get 10% off your first purchase on new accounts, including monthly and annual plans. You don't even have to pay money to try it out! and you don t have to do any of that anymore. You can set up an online store, and you DON'T EVEN HAVE to pay $5 to use it! to try out the service anymore. Check it out to give it out and you won't even be the first to know it's that easy to do . if you want to get a discount code: JOEOSPODCAST, use the code word JOEOCODE7 at checkout, you'll save $10% on your first order. JOE7, and then you'll be 10% OFF your first month and get 20% off of new accounts including monthly & annual plans, including a discount on new plans! You can go to joe7 and get 15% off the first month, plus free shipping on your next purchase. you get an ad-free version of the promo code, and they'll get a freebie of the PrimalTribalTribe! . . . and they're giving you an entire month of PrimalTribe, too! And they'll be giving you a custom kettlebell! I'll send you all that!

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:10.000 Hey, fucks. 1.00
00:00:11.000 What's going on? 1.00
00:00:12.000 Party people.
00:00:14.000 This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
00:00:20.000 Squarespace, if you've never been and you need a website, Stop what you're doing and go check it out.
00:00:28.000 It's the easiest way to make a website.
00:00:30.000 You don't have to go to somebody anymore, even though I've gone to somebody in the past.
00:00:35.000 My next website, I'm going to try to make myself.
00:00:37.000 If I had that kind of time.
00:00:38.000 I sort of have that kind of time, but not really.
00:00:40.000 I mean, I guess if you just put in a few minutes every day, you could do it.
00:00:43.000 Brian's been banging them out while we do podcasts.
00:00:46.000 He's done like 20 websites.
00:00:47.000 It's that easy.
00:00:48.000 It's super easy.
00:00:51.000 The way it's set up, it's set up like they're really good websites. 0.99
00:00:57.000 It used to be that you had to learn how to fucking HTML shit, and you had to learn how to... 0.97
00:01:04.000 You know, put all those little weird squiggly letters that you never use in an email. 0.99
00:01:08.000 You have to figure out how to use all those strange keys and arrows and shit.
00:01:13.000 You don't have to do any of that anymore.
00:01:14.000 Just go to Squarespace.
00:01:15.000 And you don't even have to pay money to try it out.
00:01:16.000 You can go to squarespace.com, try it out, and then if you choose to buy it, Use the code word JOE and the number 7, all one word, JOE7, and you'll save 10% off your first purchase on new accounts, including monthly and annual plans.
00:01:34.000 It's a sweet deal.
00:01:35.000 You can set up an online store.
00:01:38.000 They work on Android phones, iPads, iPhones.
00:01:42.000 They're pretty dope websites, and it's easy to do.
00:01:46.000 Check it out, man.
00:01:47.000 Do you remember that guy?
00:01:48.000 He used to go...
00:01:49.000 What was his name?
00:01:50.000 Check it out, man.
00:01:50.000 Check it out, man.
00:01:51.000 He was in Scarface.
00:01:52.000 Angel Salazar.
00:01:54.000 Angel Salazar.
00:01:55.000 That's a good...
00:01:56.000 Yeah.
00:01:56.000 That was his whole thing.
00:01:57.000 Check it out.
00:01:58.000 Check it out, man.
00:01:59.000 And he used to be everywhere.
00:02:00.000 And everywhere you would hear just a crazy Angel Salazar partying story. 1.00
00:02:04.000 Like Angel Salazar was here.
00:02:05.000 There are pictures of him that Mitzi's got on their wall at the store in La Jolla.
00:02:11.000 And he's like in a half shirt cut off with his hair feathered and a bandana.
00:02:15.000 And like rollerblades in one hand.
00:02:17.000 It's just so weird.
00:02:19.000 I met him once a few years ago when I was on tour with Charlie Murphy and John Heffron.
00:02:24.000 What's he doing?
00:02:24.000 Good guy.
00:02:25.000 He's doing clubs still.
00:02:26.000 Really?
00:02:27.000 Yeah.
00:02:27.000 There's those guys, man.
00:02:29.000 Go to Long Island.
00:02:30.000 Go to Long Island and go see the guys who are the local Long Island guys.
00:02:35.000 They're still around.
00:02:36.000 They've been around for a long time.
00:02:37.000 Funny guys too, like Joey Cola.
00:02:39.000 Funny guy.
00:02:40.000 Yeah, when you do stand-up for that long.
00:02:42.000 Yeah, they just, but they're, you know, they just sort of, they stay around, sort of on the periphery.
00:02:47.000 And for whatever reason, the rest of the world doesn't find out about them.
00:02:50.000 It's strange.
00:02:50.000 Well, I don't think, you know, it's funny, I don't think I'll ever stop doing stand-up regardless of, you want to do it for a lot of people, but, you know, stand-up is one of those things, who is that great philosopher who said, man's never more himself when at play.
00:03:04.000 I think that was Angel Salazar who said that.
00:03:05.000 Angel Salazar.
00:03:07.000 And then he says, check it out.
00:03:09.000 But the idea is, when I'm not on the road, when I'm not doing stand-up, I really start to miss it.
00:03:14.000 So I can understand that.
00:03:15.000 You do it because it's when you're the most authentic, maybe. 0.99
00:03:18.000 You do it because you're trying to get the fuck away from your house. 0.76
00:03:20.000 If you also go to Onnit.com, that's our last sponsor, O-N-N-I-T, you will see that Although we only have the chimpanzee tribal bell in. 0.99
00:03:29.000 Primal bell?
00:03:30.000 Tribal bell.
00:03:31.000 Primal.
00:03:32.000 Primal tribal. 0.76
00:03:33.000 All those douchey words.
00:03:34.000 We have a new gorilla one coming out. 0.99
00:03:36.000 It's going to be fucking badass. 0.99
00:03:37.000 I'm getting it. 0.96
00:03:38.000 Yeah, it's 72 pounds.
00:03:40.000 It's sick.
00:03:41.000 It's awesome. 0.99
00:03:42.000 The sculptures are cool as fuck. 0.95
00:03:43.000 And we've got a few more coming after that. 0.99
00:03:45.000 We're slowly trickling them in.
00:03:47.000 Very difficult to make.
00:03:49.000 Very difficult to produce.
00:03:50.000 Difficult also because we make sure they're balanced.
00:03:55.000 If you look at a regular kettlebell, it's very simple.
00:04:00.000 It's a symmetrical shape.
00:04:02.000 The circle and then the handle is on it.
00:04:04.000 It's a nice big thick handle.
00:04:05.000 They balance.
00:04:06.000 It sets in the middle.
00:04:07.000 But when you have a sculpture like a chimpanzee, Not that easy.
00:04:11.000 So we had to map it out and design it and make sure that when you work out with it, it works exactly like a regular kettlebell.
00:04:17.000 And that's the same for the Gorilla one as well.
00:04:19.000 And the other ones we have coming out too, we had to change faces and redesign things and move things around. 0.98
00:04:24.000 It's a real pain in the ass. 0.94
00:04:25.000 But we wanted to make sure that they looked badass and they were also functional. 0.98
00:04:30.000 They're going to use my face apparently too.
00:04:32.000 There's word of that.
00:04:33.000 For a million pounds.
00:04:34.000 That's what I heard.
00:04:35.000 For a million pounds.
00:04:35.000 There's a million pounds.
00:04:36.000 They use them for those Pacific Rim robots.
00:04:41.000 They're going to train with them.
00:04:43.000 If you've never used kettlebells before, I always tell everybody, but I think it bears repeating, you've got to go to a trainer.
00:04:49.000 Go pay somebody $100 or whatever the hell they charge and someone who knows what they're doing and just videotape it.
00:04:56.000 Just get them to go through the basic movements of it.
00:04:58.000 Start slow.
00:05:00.000 Don't lift a shitload of weight.
00:05:01.000 Lift lightweights correctly.
00:05:03.000 I have a 35-pound kettlebell.
00:05:06.000 That chimpanzee kettlebell is 35 pounds.
00:05:07.000 And I know you would look at a manly man like myself and you'd say, Joe Rogan, what could you possibly do with 35 pounds?
00:05:12.000 Did you play volleyball with it or what?
00:05:13.000 But you get exhausted.
00:05:15.000 Trust me.
00:05:16.000 The one that we have that we sell on it, it's called the Keith Weber... 0.96
00:05:20.000 Extreme cardio workout and these DVDs that we sell, Extreme Cardio and Extreme 2, they're fucking insane.
00:05:27.000 35 pound kettlebell. 0.99
00:05:28.000 I've done them with a 50, you want to have a goddamn heart attack. 1.00
00:05:30.000 It's insane. 0.99
00:05:31.000 It's amazing.
00:05:32.000 Do it like a 45 pounder.
00:05:33.000 How long is the workout for?
00:05:35.000 Well, there's a series of workouts.
00:05:36.000 There's a bunch of workouts.
00:05:38.000 It's almost really how long can you do it.
00:05:40.000 There's a bunch of them that go back and forth and back and forth.
00:05:44.000 But once you start doing reps, you start doing windmills and cleans and presses and over and over and over again, it's just unbelievably good as far as strength and conditioning workouts, the best.
00:05:55.000 And it gives you great cardio too, and it gives you functional strength.
00:05:59.000 Go to Onnit.
00:06:00.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. As I mentioned, the results of the alpha brain test, the double-blind placebo test, which were very positive, will be released soon. 0.98
00:06:14.000 We've got to get them published.
00:06:16.000 But we're also on to another one, on to another larger test, large-scale, even more expensive test, just because you think it's necessary to make sure that people I don't have any questions about whether or not something's effective.
00:06:30.000 We don't want any claims of snake oil.
00:06:32.000 No one's trying to rip you off.
00:06:33.000 The way we have it set up at Onnit is all the supplements that you buy, whether it's Shroomtech or Alpha Brain, the supplements all have a 30-day or a 90-day 30-pill money-back guarantee. 0.98
00:06:46.000 So if you buy the first 30 pills and within 90 days you say, this is bullshit. 0.80
00:06:50.000 This doesn't do anything for me. 0.94
00:06:51.000 You get 100% of your money back.
00:06:53.000 You don't even have to send the product back.
00:06:55.000 The reason being is because we're sure that everything that we sell does what it claims.
00:06:59.000 And you're going to enjoy it, whether it's new mood, which is very simple, scientifically proven.
00:07:04.000 It's 5-HTP. It improves your brain's ability to produce serotonin.
00:07:08.000 You produce more.
00:07:09.000 There's also L-tryptophan, which converts to 5-HTP. All that stuff is great for your mood.
00:07:15.000 That's real.
00:07:17.000 In fact, they tell people who are on SSRIs to not take 5-HTP because you can get too much serotonin.
00:07:23.000 They tell you to avoid that and just take their pharmaceutical medication.
00:07:26.000 I'm not saying there's anything wrong with pharmaceuticals, but I am saying that you can get a boost in your mood from taking something like New Mood.
00:07:33.000 And it's guaranteed.
00:07:35.000 Use a code name ROGAN. Save 10% off any supplements.
00:07:38.000 Brian Callen is here, and we're finned to get busy.
00:07:41.000 Because that's what we do.
00:07:41.000 That's what we do.
00:07:43.000 Mm-hmm.
00:07:43.000 We're going hunting again this November together with Steve Rinella.
00:07:46.000 We don't fuck around. 0.98
00:07:47.000 We're back in action. 0.99
00:07:49.000 Three deer each.
00:07:49.000 Boom.
00:07:50.000 So lock, lock.
00:07:51.000 Mate.
00:07:51.000 Boom.
00:07:52.000 Here we go.
00:07:54.000 Joe Rogan Podcast.
00:07:55.000 Check it out.
00:07:56.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:07:58.000 Train by day.
00:07:59.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.
00:08:01.000 All day.
00:08:05.000 Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
00:08:09.000 Jesus Louisa.
00:08:11.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99
00:08:14.000 Brian motherfucking Callan, also known as By The Way. 0.99
00:08:17.000 Or The Kid. 0.99
00:08:19.000 I refer to myself as The Kid.
00:08:21.000 Whenever I'm on set now, I make the cameraman.
00:08:23.000 Everybody refer to me as The Kid.
00:08:25.000 They're like, The Kid, can you just move to the left?
00:08:26.000 I'm like, yes, I can.
00:08:27.000 What sets have you been on?
00:08:28.000 What have you been doing?
00:08:28.000 I just did a stint on a movie called Flock of Dudes, and that's it.
00:08:35.000 I've just been doing...
00:08:36.000 I like to take long, long breaks between my acting.
00:08:39.000 Yeah.
00:08:39.000 But I did a movie with Elizabeth Banks, who's 40 and couldn't look better.
00:08:44.000 Elizabeth Banks is...
00:08:46.000 She's been in a ton of movies.
00:08:48.000 She's not the chick from Showgirls. 0.74
00:08:50.000 No.
00:08:51.000 That's Elizabeth... 1.00
00:08:52.000 Perkins or something?
00:08:53.000 Who knows?
00:08:54.000 Don't you say who knows about Showgirls, dude. 1.00
00:08:57.000 I actually know her because I used to date her friend when I first got to L.A. Who, the Showgirls girl? 0.75
00:09:02.000 Yeah.
00:09:03.000 Elizabeth Hurley.
00:09:04.000 Yeah.
00:09:04.000 No, it's not Elizabeth Hurley.
00:09:06.000 Don't ever chime in if you're wrong, you fuck. 1.00
00:09:08.000 Berkeley. 1.00
00:09:08.000 Berkeley. 1.00
00:09:09.000 There it is.
00:09:09.000 Berkeley, ladies and gentlemen.
00:09:11.000 Yes. 1.00
00:09:12.000 What a pretty face and, you know, an okay ass. 1.00
00:09:15.000 Nothing special. 0.99
00:09:16.000 I don't believe she's a dancer.
00:09:18.000 Before we start, I just want to...
00:09:19.000 Can I just hawk a date?
00:09:22.000 Yeah, before we start.
00:09:23.000 Go ahead.
00:09:24.000 This weekend, at the Schomburg Improv, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Brian Callen!
00:09:30.000 Enjoy your fruit compo.
00:09:31.000 People are thinking about going, they're like, this guy's too much.
00:09:34.000 Forget this guy, man.
00:09:35.000 He's too much.
00:09:35.000 He's too full of energy.
00:09:37.000 I don't want to deal with that.
00:09:38.000 I don't want to be in that presence.
00:09:39.000 I know, exactly.
00:09:40.000 Are you ready for hunting again?
00:09:43.000 Dude, here's what I'm worried about.
00:09:45.000 You had to choose November 21st in Wisconsin.
00:09:48.000 You think the Missouri Breaks was cold in October?
00:09:50.000 We're going to...
00:09:52.000 Yeah, it's going to be cold. 1.00
00:09:53.000 Why are you such a pussy? 1.00
00:09:54.000 Because I am a pussy. 1.00
00:09:55.000 Don't listen. 1.00
00:09:55.000 Because I've got a long neck and I can't conserve heat. 1.00
00:09:57.000 That's why.
00:09:58.000 Wear clothes.
00:09:58.000 I don't have a short neck and wide center of gravity.
00:10:03.000 You retain heat.
00:10:03.000 We were freezing on that boat and you come by me and you were like, you had icicles on your beard and you were smiling at me.
00:10:08.000 I was like, what are you smiling at?
00:10:09.000 I can't move.
00:10:10.000 I grew up in Boston and I know how to deal with the heat.
00:10:12.000 I know how to deal with the cold rather.
00:10:13.000 You just deal with it.
00:10:14.000 You just deal with it.
00:10:15.000 You just accept it.
00:10:16.000 Are we sleeping in tents again?
00:10:17.000 No, no, no.
00:10:18.000 Not this time.
00:10:19.000 What are we doing?
00:10:19.000 We're going to sleep in a cabin.
00:10:20.000 Really?
00:10:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:10:22.000 It's going to be like a real place where you have a bed, the whole deal.
00:10:24.000 Everything's going to be beautiful.
00:10:26.000 I can't wait.
00:10:26.000 We're going to have a good time.
00:10:27.000 That's no problem, man.
00:10:28.000 We're going to have a good time. 1.00
00:10:29.000 Don't be a pussy. 1.00
00:10:29.000 No, I'm not. 1.00
00:10:30.000 It's going to be fun.
00:10:30.000 I get to bag three deer.
00:10:31.000 Those people live there.
00:10:32.000 Those people live there all year round.
00:10:33.000 My dad's from Wisconsin.
00:10:34.000 They're fine.
00:10:35.000 Yeah.
00:10:35.000 I've been up to the Northwoods.
00:10:37.000 I bet you have.
00:10:38.000 Yeah, I really have.
00:10:39.000 You've been to Chicago in January?
00:10:41.000 I sure have.
00:10:42.000 I've done a few gigs in Chicago in January.
00:10:43.000 It's like... 0.94
00:10:45.000 It's ridiculous. 0.96
00:10:45.000 They don't play. 0.96
00:10:46.000 They don't play around up there.
00:10:48.000 They don't play around up there.
00:10:49.000 I just got back from Alaska.
00:10:50.000 You did?
00:10:51.000 Yeah, I went salmon fishing up there.
00:10:52.000 I didn't tell you about that?
00:10:53.000 No.
00:10:54.000 Ari Shafir and I went up there.
00:10:55.000 Well, you know Ari, that outdoorsman. 1.00
00:10:57.000 Ari Shafir can hang.
00:10:58.000 I love him. 0.95
00:10:59.000 He can hang. 0.66
00:10:59.000 I bet he can. 0.66
00:11:00.000 He can hang. 0.99
00:11:00.000 He finds his way through, right? 0.99
00:11:02.000 He's a smart motherfucker. 1.00
00:11:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:11:03.000 He knows how to do anything he wants to do. 1.00
00:11:05.000 That's what it is.
00:11:06.000 He gets good at anything he wants to get good at.
00:11:08.000 It's just, you know, he's the real deal.
00:11:10.000 Well, did you catch any salmon?
00:11:11.000 Yeah, we caught a lot of salmon.
00:11:11.000 Because, you know, I went to Alaska and fishing.
00:11:14.000 Did you really?
00:11:15.000 Yes.
00:11:15.000 Oh, I'm glad you're turning this around on yourself.
00:11:17.000 Well, I caught nothing, so I'm asking you if you...
00:11:19.000 I literally caught nothing.
00:11:20.000 Oh, and by the way, we spent $600 to go deep sea fishing, me and my father.
00:11:24.000 Guess who got sick?
00:11:25.000 Both of us.
00:11:26.000 We were like, hey, can we turn this boat around?
00:11:27.000 Yeah, you gotta go with a guide, and then you get salmon that big.
00:11:32.000 Oh, what is that?
00:11:33.000 It's a dinosaur.
00:11:34.000 What is that?
00:11:35.000 It's a 40-pound salmon I caught. 0.97
00:11:36.000 That's ridiculous.
00:11:37.000 Yeah, we caught a ton of them.
00:11:38.000 We caught seven of them one day, and then another day we caught four, and I caught a wild rainbow trout, too.
00:11:46.000 Now, did you catch them as they were coming to die?
00:11:49.000 Yes, yes.
00:11:50.000 I mean, essentially, they don't live.
00:11:53.000 They come back up, they spawn, and that's a wrap, son.
00:11:56.000 There's nothing going on.
00:11:57.000 Did you see any bear?
00:11:58.000 No.
00:11:58.000 We did not.
00:11:59.000 We saw eagles.
00:12:00.000 We saw a lot of eagles, but we were on the lookout for a bear.
00:12:02.000 We saw five moose inside of two days.
00:12:05.000 Moose are everywhere up there.
00:12:06.000 It's amazing.
00:12:06.000 They're also, they say, way more dangerous than a lot of animals.
00:12:09.000 Oh yeah, we saw, by the way, two of the moose had babies with them.
00:12:16.000 Twice.
00:12:16.000 So out of the four, we saw two mamas and two babies in two completely different areas.
00:12:21.000 Wow.
00:12:21.000 So those are the most dangerous.
00:12:22.000 When you see a mother with her baby, and we saw a mother with her baby on a tiny island.
00:12:27.000 Our friend Matt, who's the guide that we went out there with, he took us to his dad as an island with like a bunch of cabins on it.
00:12:35.000 We took a boat out to this island and there's a moose and her baby on the island. 0.99
00:12:39.000 And we're like, oh shit, this is a small ass island. 0.99
00:12:42.000 It's like a block. 1.00
00:12:43.000 And the moose is like, what you doing here, bitch? 1.00
00:12:45.000 And we're like, oh shit. 1.00
00:12:46.000 Yeah, I guess it swam there. 0.99
00:12:48.000 It's a horse!
00:12:49.000 Yeah, a horse that swam.
00:12:50.000 Yeah, you never think of a horse swimming like that.
00:12:52.000 They can swim.
00:12:52.000 I'm sure.
00:12:53.000 They swim like in the middle of the water, like it's deep as fuck, and they swim right through it. 0.96
00:12:57.000 And by the way, that water, if I remember correctly, even in the summer, in the North Atlantic, you got about 10 minutes. 0.96
00:13:05.000 You fall in that water.
00:13:06.000 You got about 10 minutes before you die.
00:13:08.000 That's not the Atlantic, fella.
00:13:08.000 That's the Pacific.
00:13:09.000 That's what I meant.
00:13:10.000 I meant the Pacific.
00:13:11.000 Don't ever embarrass me on a podcast like that again.
00:13:14.000 I'm doing it just to help you.
00:13:15.000 No, I know.
00:13:16.000 Because you're going to get the emails.
00:13:16.000 I meant the area of the Pacific that's closer to the Atlantic.
00:13:20.000 That part when it flips around real quick.
00:13:22.000 When it flips around.
00:13:23.000 You and your technical ideas about what a sea is.
00:13:26.000 Yeah, but you got about, I think, 10 minutes to live.
00:13:30.000 That place is so gangster.
00:13:32.000 Yeah.
00:13:32.000 It's such a beautiful place, too.
00:13:34.000 Have you been to Alaska yet?
00:13:35.000 I have.
00:13:35.000 You gotta do stand-up there.
00:13:36.000 Really? 1.00
00:13:37.000 Fuck yes. 1.00
00:13:38.000 It's one of the greatest places in the world. 1.00
00:13:39.000 Where?
00:13:39.000 Anchorage.
00:13:40.000 I'll go.
00:13:41.000 You gotta go.
00:13:41.000 Gotta go.
00:13:42.000 It's amazing. 0.99
00:13:43.000 First of all, these people are cool as shit. 0.97
00:13:47.000 They're like the coolest people from Portland or Boulder, those kind of people. 0.98
00:13:52.000 Except they're living in the Pacific, I mean, as far up there as you can get.
00:13:56.000 Right.
00:13:56.000 Hop, skip, and jump away from Russia.
00:13:58.000 Yeah, I mean, they're way the fuck up there, past Canada. 1.00
00:14:01.000 It's cold as fuck. 0.99
00:14:02.000 It was 3 o'clock in the morning when we leave the bar, and it's bright out. 0.99
00:14:06.000 Wow.
00:14:07.000 Yeah, it's weird.
00:14:08.000 I mean, when we went out there, it was actually, the temperature was nice. 0.69
00:14:10.000 It was in the 70s, but the mosquitoes are un-fucking-relenting. 0.90
00:14:14.000 Oh, yeah. 0.95
00:14:15.000 Unrelenting.
00:14:16.000 You've never seen anything like it.
00:14:17.000 It's like they know they only have a certain amount of time.
00:14:20.000 So like you get out of your car and there's a hundred of them on you, in your face, within seconds.
00:14:26.000 It's incredible.
00:14:27.000 They swarm you.
00:14:29.000 One person with malaria in Alaska could kill the entire state.
00:14:33.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:14:34.000 They would just spread like wildfire through these fucking cunty mosquitoes. 1.00
00:14:37.000 They're unbelievable. 1.00
00:14:39.000 Like you've never seen anything like it.
00:14:40.000 You get out of your car and it's a cloud of them just...
00:14:43.000 I don't think Off works with those.
00:14:45.000 Yeah, it works.
00:14:46.000 It does?
00:14:46.000 Yeah, DDT. We used whatever shit.
00:14:49.000 We bought it at REI. It works. 1.00
00:14:52.000 It works great.
00:14:53.000 It's genius.
00:14:53.000 You need it.
00:14:53.000 You need it.
00:14:54.000 It probably gives you cancer.
00:14:55.000 Right. 0.99
00:14:56.000 I mean, who knows what the fuck that stuff does. 0.94
00:14:56.000 It might be worth it, though, when you got a cloud of mosquitoes. 0.94
00:15:00.000 Yeah, believe me.
00:15:01.000 I was in Utah last week and I didn't use it in time.
00:15:04.000 Now I got bites all over my arms.
00:15:06.000 Those cold areas, man.
00:15:08.000 Well, I was in Indonesia and I had to carry a sulfur coil.
00:15:12.000 Oh, by the way.
00:15:14.000 By the way?
00:15:14.000 Yeah, by the way.
00:15:15.000 When you're in Indonesia, please don't think that you're going to use, please don't think that off is going to work because those tropical bugs scoff at it.
00:15:24.000 They laugh at it.
00:15:25.000 So you had to carry a sulfur coil and burn it and that's what kept the mosquitoes away from you.
00:15:30.000 Is that real?
00:15:31.000 Yes.
00:15:31.000 How does off not work?
00:15:33.000 Because they're just too...
00:15:35.000 they don't care.
00:15:37.000 Really?
00:15:37.000 They're tropical mosquitoes and tropical bugs.
00:15:39.000 So we would carry a sulfur coil and you burn a sulfur coil.
00:15:43.000 You hold it in your hand and you burn it as you walk.
00:15:47.000 How about that?
00:15:47.000 And that's what keeps them away.
00:15:49.000 Does it work?
00:15:49.000 Yeah.
00:15:50.000 How well.
00:15:51.000 Because we would, you'd track in it in the middle of the, like, when it was still dark, and then you set up a hammock, because you don't want to sleep on the floor, because bugs will get you.
00:16:00.000 So you can set up a hammock, you lie in the hammock, you wait for the orangutan above you to wake up.
00:16:05.000 Now when you're, and then when the whole forest wakes up, it's louder than Grand Central Station.
00:16:09.000 You've never heard anything like it in my life, in your life.
00:16:11.000 The forest, the tropical rainforest, louder than, put me on the corner of 42nd and 5th Avenue, it's louder, and I'm not exaggerating at Is it mostly bugs?
00:16:20.000 It's bugs, birds, monkeys.
00:16:22.000 All together, just squawking.
00:16:24.000 Different crickets, different grass, whatever it is.
00:16:29.000 And when the whole forest wakes up, you're like, this is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life.
00:16:34.000 I mean, monks, but birds are like, you're just like, are you kidding me?
00:16:39.000 And it's mostly the bugs.
00:16:41.000 It's mostly the different bugs that are doing weird things like rubbing their legs together or frogs, you know, that are, you know, and I just couldn't believe it.
00:16:51.000 And you better carry a sulfur coil.
00:16:54.000 You freaked me out when you told me about your first experiences there, back when you were thinking about being like a bug scientist, because you told me about the posts that they had on where you slept, and you had to cover them with turpentine.
00:17:07.000 That's right.
00:17:08.000 Because of the ants?
00:17:09.000 Because the ants, when they're foraging, what they'll do is they'll just crawl over you, no problem, if they're hunting.
00:17:16.000 You better have turpentine on those posts because they'll find you.
00:17:19.000 They'll come up those posts. 0.99
00:17:20.000 You're in your, you know, tent or you're in your bed and they'll come and kill you. 1.00
00:17:25.000 They'll come and eat you. 0.99
00:17:27.000 And you can hear them.
00:17:29.000 You can hear them.
00:17:30.000 There's so many of them that you can hear a weird sort of hum.
00:17:33.000 So that's what happens.
00:17:35.000 You hear them walking?
00:17:36.000 Yeah, apparently you can hear them when they're on the march, when there are millions of them and they're hunting.
00:17:41.000 You can hear the movement of the ground or whatever it is as they forage through.
00:17:48.000 It actually makes a sound.
00:17:50.000 There's millions of them.
00:17:51.000 Yes.
00:17:51.000 People don't understand, this is a real fact, that the weight of human beings is equal to the weight of ants in the entire world.
00:18:00.000 Yeah.
00:18:01.000 Just think about how many ants it would take to equal a person.
00:18:04.000 How many millions of ants you'd have to stack on top of each other to equal the weight of a normal person.
00:18:09.000 Well, there's an equal number of pounds in the world of human as there are of ants.
00:18:15.000 Well, I got my mind really blown.
00:18:17.000 I had a guy on my podcast recently, James Rollins, who is like a Michael Crichton.
00:18:23.000 And he went and spoke to some mathematicians at NASA. And the latest...
00:18:30.000 They had all these really weird theories, which is we're basically living in a hologram.
00:18:35.000 Have you heard about this?
00:18:36.000 Oh, yeah.
00:18:36.000 Yeah, it's a blue mind.
00:18:37.000 Then they said, what do you mean?
00:18:39.000 They said, well, if you were to take all the space out of the atoms we're made of, so if you take all the space, so you took all the electrons, whatever that surrounds the nucleus, If you put it all together, you could take every human being that's ever lived, the actual mass that we're made of,
00:18:57.000 and put it into a baseball.
00:18:58.000 So then it raises the question of what in the world is holding us together?
00:19:03.000 If you look closely enough, we are way more space And what seems to be creating solid matter is the relationship between energy fields.
00:19:16.000 There's no way that they, as they look closer, there's no way they can actually point to, like, what we're touching right now, like this wood.
00:19:22.000 It's really, it's just, it's so mind-blowing.
00:19:26.000 Like, what are you talking about?
00:19:27.000 Like, when he said that, he goes, you could take every human being that's ever lived, and if you put, if you actually took what they're really made of, the matter that the atoms are made of, you could put it into a baseball.
00:19:35.000 What?!
00:19:36.000 Stop it! 0.99
00:19:37.000 Every human being.
00:19:38.000 Yes!
00:19:38.000 He went through all this...
00:19:39.000 We just did the podcast.
00:19:41.000 He went through all of this crazy stuff he was talking to them about.
00:19:45.000 Yeah, I had a guy from JPL, this Dr. Richard Terrell, and he was talking to me about simulation theory.
00:19:58.000 Terrell?
00:19:59.000 Terrell.
00:20:00.000 I can't read this.
00:20:02.000 He was talking to me about simulation theory, and he was talking to me about the exponential growth of computers, that literally the amount of computations per second that the computers did, the largest computers, back when the Apollo moon landing program was going on, the amount of computations per second that they were capable of is the same as a key fob on a car.
00:20:26.000 That's so mind-boggling where we're going. 0.93
00:20:31.000 That is fucking beyond insane. 0.93
00:20:33.000 A key fob on a car is actually faster. 1.00
00:20:36.000 It's so crazy!
00:20:37.000 It moves faster.
00:20:38.000 It makes more computations per second than that giant computer.
00:20:41.000 I mean, it's not capable of the same thing, but as far as computations per second, your cell phone certainly is.
00:20:46.000 Your cell phone's capable of far more.
00:20:48.000 Far more than any computer back then did, which was the size of a room.
00:20:53.000 What we're talking about is one of the episodes of this new show that I'm doing, which premieres tomorrow on SyFy.
00:20:59.000 Joe Rogan questions everything.
00:21:00.000 One of the subjects is the subject of simulation theory, about how insane it is that you can one day, rest assured, without a doubt, 100%, that they will create An artificial reality that is indiscernible from the reality that you're experiencing right now.
00:21:20.000 There's not a goddamn doubt about it, not one millionth of one percent doubt that if human beings stay alive, if we don't blow ourselves up, get killed in a pandemic, or hit by an asteroid, if any of those things don't happen, then within X amount of years,
00:21:37.000 fill in the blanks, whether it's a hundred, a thousand, there's going to be a time where the computation power The ability to manipulate neurons is going to be at a level that you are going to be able to insert an artificial world into someone's mind. 0.86
00:21:53.000 And then you're not going to be able to know whether or not you're in that mind or whether you're in the real world.
00:22:00.000 Are you in an artificial world or are you in the real world?
00:22:03.000 But here's where it gets really freaky.
00:22:04.000 What if you're in the artificial world and inside that artificial world you create an artificial world?
00:22:10.000 That's where things get fractal, which is essentially the nature of the entire universe itself.
00:22:15.000 When you boil things down, when you get really small, things get really big.
00:22:19.000 And when you're talking about all the air that's inside of an atom, all the space that's inside the atom, well, that sounds a whole lot like the whole universe, doesn't it?
00:22:28.000 Doesn't that sound like...
00:22:29.000 It sure does.
00:22:30.000 It's a mini universe, isn't it?
00:22:31.000 Every galaxy is essentially...
00:22:33.000 And look at the distance between galaxies.
00:22:35.000 When you look at galaxies and you look at them and they look like stars because they're so small and so far away, but you see how far there is between them and the next galaxy, and then you realize that that little small dot you're looking at is actually probably three or four hundred billion stars,
00:22:53.000 including a supermassive black hole in the center of it that's one half Of 1% of the mass of the entire galaxy.
00:23:00.000 And they go on forever.
00:23:02.000 And there's this massive amount of space.
00:23:04.000 I mean, it's essentially a giant atom.
00:23:06.000 It really is almost the same thing.
00:23:08.000 There's that theory that everything...
00:23:10.000 Whether it's this cell, a red blood cell, or skin cell, or...
00:23:15.000 We are all...
00:23:17.000 It's all essentially...
00:23:19.000 Many universes, they all mirror each other on smaller levels.
00:23:23.000 So you got the whole universe, and then if you look at a cell, you actually get into the minutiae of a cell and really look at everything that's going on.
00:23:28.000 It's every bit as complicated as everything around us.
00:23:31.000 It's just a mini version of that.
00:23:33.000 So we are reflections, different levels of reflections of the exact same thing, just on smaller or larger scales. 0.93
00:23:42.000 Which is why the concept of creating a simulation and then inside that simulation, creating a simulation is so fucking nuts.
00:23:49.000 It's like the real problem comes when what you can simulate is exactly the same as what you can experience outside of the simulation, then which one is which?
00:24:00.000 Right.
00:24:00.000 And why is there a difference?
00:24:02.000 Says who? 0.65
00:24:03.000 Because you can knock on it?
00:24:05.000 Well, guess what?
00:24:05.000 You can knock on it when you're in there too.
00:24:07.000 So it's real then.
00:24:08.000 Then it becomes real.
00:24:09.000 This guy, James Rollins, was again saying that they were also talking about string theory of parallel universes, right?
00:24:14.000 The notion that there are different realities right next to each other.
00:24:17.000 And maybe that's exactly what it is.
00:24:19.000 That's where the hologram, this weird idea that...
00:24:22.000 I can't remember how he was describing it, but he...
00:24:25.000 Let's just go to the podcast.
00:24:27.000 But he was talking about how there is like this...
00:24:33.000 It's like a third sort of, well, it's basically a hologram.
00:24:37.000 Basically the idea that there's a, this, what we're seeing here is just a reflective reality of something else.
00:24:46.000 That's something, I don't know, I don't even have to.
00:24:47.000 It's too hard. 0.99
00:24:48.000 We're too stupid to actually repeat what these people have worked their lives. 0.99
00:24:53.000 It's so rude to get anonymous. 1.00
00:24:56.000 It's just like a whole universe.
00:24:57.000 Yeah, I know.
00:24:58.000 It is. 0.99
00:24:58.000 And you're like, the fuck is it? 0.99
00:25:00.000 No, it's not. 1.00
00:25:01.000 It's so true. 0.84
00:25:02.000 Jesus. 1.00
00:25:02.000 I did my doctorate in that, you fuck. 1.00
00:25:04.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:25:05.000 It's so incredibly complicated, but thank God someone's doing that work. 1.00
00:25:11.000 You know what?
00:25:11.000 He blew me away.
00:25:13.000 He said that the Greeks had kind of had this assumption, had this thought.
00:25:17.000 It was like a theory.
00:25:18.000 So like in ancient Greece, like this is not a new theory.
00:25:22.000 The idea that you're creating your own universe in your mind and that you live inside of some artificial play that's being...
00:25:27.000 Well, in fact, it's Plato's allegory of the cave.
00:25:31.000 The idea that we live in a cave and reality for most of us is simply reflections on the wall.
00:25:39.000 That's exactly what this hologram guy was saying.
00:25:41.000 So Plato's allegory of the cave is that we are all in the dark and what we think is real is actually just a...
00:25:52.000 I think we're good to go.
00:26:08.000 You may not be able to draw a perfect triangle.
00:26:15.000 It would always be off a little bit, even if you had all the instruments.
00:26:18.000 But you can imagine a perfect triangle.
00:26:20.000 You can imagine it.
00:26:22.000 And so the idea is that...
00:26:24.000 Another great example is... 0.99
00:26:26.000 This blew my fucking mind. 1.00
00:26:30.000 You have a mathematician. 0.99
00:26:31.000 He's 175 years ago, comes out of a dark room and says, I just came up with a mathematical equation.
00:26:38.000 By the way, it's 300 pages long.
00:26:40.000 It has zero relevance to the material world.
00:26:43.000 And oh, by the way, I'm going to die now.
00:26:46.000 See ya! 1.00
00:26:46.000 Dies. 1.00
00:26:47.000 And here's this equation that's sitting there.
00:26:49.000 175 years later, some guy is measuring the difference between, like, the relationship between quarks and how it relates to this and how it relates to...
00:26:57.000 And they're trying to make a gyroscope at NASA or something, or some kind of a telescope.
00:27:01.000 And they go, hey, guess what?
00:27:03.000 This guy, this mathematician 175 years ago who came up with this mathematical equation, what we're working on right now, that mathematical equation is very relevant to this physical reality.
00:27:15.000 So this guy has a dream, comes up with a mathematical equation that 175 years later bears physical reality that we're using in our cell phone or we're using in a telescope or whatever it is.
00:27:28.000 It takes on a physical reality.
00:27:31.000 So, whatever this guy imagined 175 years ago in his mind, for whatever reason, was put there, and is used 175 years later for something very physical in the physical world.
00:27:43.000 It's weird, man.
00:27:44.000 And he's like, why was it, why, what happened?
00:27:46.000 Why did that guy think of that?
00:27:48.000 He was able to imagine a reality that had no bearing on the world today, and 175 years later it did.
00:27:55.000 That's where I get really kind of...
00:27:57.000 I'm doing a shitty job of explaining all this stuff.
00:28:00.000 I know what you're saying.
00:28:00.000 What you're basically saying is that someone had an insight into the way things work that no one else had achieved before, and he was so far ahead that no one could figure it out until 175 years later somebody revisited it.
00:28:12.000 But it was also more than an insight.
00:28:13.000 It was actually a physical, measurable reality that he proved on paper, mathematically...
00:28:24.000 Somebody's measuring the inside of a conch shell and how it relates to a beehive's spires or whatever and all of a sudden goes, this mathematical equation is proving my theory.
00:28:36.000 It's measuring what I'm using for this particular physical reality.
00:28:41.000 You know what that is?
00:28:42.000 It's a great example of why we need different kinds of people in this world. 0.97
00:28:47.000 We need a goddamn broad spectrum. 0.98
00:28:49.000 Damn right, dude. 0.99
00:28:50.000 I was watching this Joey Diaz video today. 0.95
00:28:53.000 Ari Shaffir has this new thing on ComedyCentral.com.
00:28:56.000 It's called This Is Not Happening. 0.99
00:28:57.000 And it's all people just telling the most fucked up stories. 0.99
00:29:01.000 It's like stand-up comics, but telling insane stories of their life. 0.99
00:29:05.000 And Joey Diaz told one about being on heroin.
00:29:08.000 We're good to go.
00:29:29.000 He's your guinea pig.
00:29:30.000 But when you talk to a guy that's done heroin as much as Joey has and done coke as much as Joey has and he has these great stories about it and the harrowing, harrowing feelings of addiction that he can relay to you without you ever actually having to do them.
00:29:47.000 It's so important.
00:29:48.000 And it's also important to have mathematicians. 0.99
00:29:51.000 Because I'm not fucking... 0.99
00:29:52.000 You give me that big pile of paper, you might as well have given that to a chimp. 1.00
00:29:56.000 Of course!
00:29:58.000 It's not.
00:29:58.000 I don't have the time.
00:29:59.000 I'm going to be beaten off.
00:30:00.000 I'm going to take naps.
00:30:02.000 I'm going to want to work out.
00:30:03.000 I'm going to look at my biceps in the mirror.
00:30:05.000 That's me too.
00:30:05.000 I have to get up and eat all the time.
00:30:07.000 I'm going to go play pool.
00:30:08.000 I'm going to watch TV. I'm not going to do that.
00:30:10.000 I'm pretty disciplined, but I'm only disciplined with shit I like to do. 0.97
00:30:14.000 I'm disciplined with jujitsu. 0.97
00:30:16.000 I'm disciplined with working out.
00:30:18.000 I'm disciplined with doing comedy, with work.
00:30:20.000 I like doing those things, though, so it's not really disciplined.
00:30:23.000 The real discipline is trying to do math. 0.99
00:30:25.000 That's fucking disappointing. 0.97
00:30:26.000 Well, especially math theory, where you're thinking up these crazy theorems that don't have any numbers. 0.99
00:30:33.000 Not even numbers.
00:30:33.000 It's like letters and weird equations, and you're following some thread that then the answer is, and the answer is 170 pages long!
00:30:44.000 What?
00:30:45.000 And somebody out there and a bunch of mathematicians go...
00:30:48.000 Brilliant.
00:30:49.000 Guess what?
00:30:50.000 How about that Russian guy that found this impossible theory? 0.99
00:30:54.000 He was 357 pages long.
00:30:55.000 And they wanted to give him a million dollars.
00:30:57.000 He's like, I don't want that money.
00:30:57.000 Right, because he said, I'm actually, you're giving me the money.
00:31:01.000 I'm just the radio transmitter.
00:31:03.000 I was just, all I did was channel it.
00:31:05.000 It was always up there.
00:31:05.000 Give it to the theorem in the sky.
00:31:07.000 I just happen to have been, I have a certain wiring.
00:31:10.000 That was able to channel the equation.
00:31:13.000 What was funny about that, if I'm not mistaken, is they didn't actually even know if the question was valid.
00:31:20.000 There was a theory out there that that was actually a legitimate math theory.
00:31:26.000 Theorem or question.
00:31:27.000 Like, they didn't even know if that was something you were able to think about.
00:31:31.000 They didn't even know if it was a reality to think about.
00:31:33.000 And he was like, yes it is!
00:31:34.000 Furthermore, here's the answer!
00:31:36.000 What?
00:31:37.000 That is more proof.
00:31:39.000 It's so important to have a broad spectrum of people.
00:31:43.000 It's very important.
00:31:44.000 I mean, you and I are not going to build a good house. 0.99
00:31:48.000 If we don't have an architect, if we don't have a carpenter, we're gonna do a shit job. 0.98
00:31:52.000 We're gonna make a tent. 0.97
00:31:53.000 We're gonna make some shitty lean-to and we're just gonna have to deal with that until we dig up some books that some smart people figured out on how to make a house. 0.97
00:32:01.000 But it goes back to what I was saying about the allegory of the cave.
00:32:04.000 You may not be able to achieve perfection, but you can imagine perfection.
00:32:08.000 You may not be able to achieve that theorem, but that theorem can still inspire something else in you.
00:32:15.000 And that in itself is where we are connected.
00:32:17.000 That in itself is why other people have tremendous value if you open yourself up to those kind of people.
00:32:22.000 I always say that it's very important for young people, I always talk about this, And we don't live in a world that fosters this.
00:32:29.000 We live in a world that's very much about you, your appetites, how does this affect me specifically?
00:32:33.000 It's very important, I think, to expose yourself to things that force you to reach beyond yourself.
00:32:41.000 That's where...
00:32:44.000 I think?
00:33:00.000 Beyond your own experience.
00:33:02.000 But I think you never know how it's going to inspire you.
00:33:05.000 You don't know what it's going to spark inside of you.
00:33:08.000 For me, I derive a great deal of inspiration from just being awed by that which I don't understand. 0.99
00:33:15.000 Yeah, I love to go see shit I can't do. 0.96
00:33:17.000 That's one of the reasons why I like to go see musicians. 0.99
00:33:19.000 I love to go see live music because I have zero talent.
00:33:22.000 I have zero talent, zero desire, zero ability.
00:33:26.000 I know some comedians that really wish they were rock stars. 0.53
00:33:29.000 I've never had a fucking single second where I thought about being a singer or in a band or playing a musical instrument.
00:33:35.000 When are you going to be in Florida next? 0.94
00:33:37.000 I don't know.
00:33:38.000 Not planned.
00:33:39.000 There's a group called the Flyers and this kid named Patrick Farinas.
00:33:43.000 He plays a guitar.
00:33:46.000 I'm just going to...
00:33:47.000 I mean, if you're in Florida, if you ever find this guy, Patrick Farinas of the Flyers, he plays a guitar.
00:33:53.000 Better than any.
00:33:54.000 I've never seen anything like it.
00:33:56.000 And by the way, I was with musicians.
00:33:58.000 You can't say any more by the ways.
00:33:59.000 You're done.
00:34:00.000 What's that?
00:34:01.000 You have no more by the ways for the show.
00:34:02.000 Do I keep saying that?
00:34:03.000 It's so funny.
00:34:04.000 Just remind me.
00:34:05.000 Remind me.
00:34:05.000 I want to dime every time I do it.
00:34:07.000 Did you really say?
00:34:08.000 Do I keep saying that?
00:34:10.000 Yeah, I don't fear myself.
00:34:11.000 That's your um.
00:34:11.000 Is it?
00:34:12.000 Yeah.
00:34:13.000 He plays a guitar so well that I was with other musicians and he jumped out for a guest spot and these two guitars came up to me and they were like...
00:34:22.000 I've never seen...
00:34:24.000 I've been playing the guitar my whole life.
00:34:26.000 And I've devoted my life to him.
00:34:27.000 What's his name?
00:34:28.000 Patrick Farinas.
00:34:29.000 He goes, I've never seen anything like it.
00:34:30.000 Is he online?
00:34:31.000 I think he's online.
00:34:32.000 How's he not online?
00:34:33.000 How's it possible he's not online?
00:34:33.000 Yeah, he should be online.
00:34:34.000 How old is he?
00:34:35.000 30. Well, how come we haven't heard of him?
00:34:38.000 Because he, and I talked to him about it, he's now doing original music before he was doing a lot of cover stuff.
00:34:43.000 And now he's doing, and I said, you've got a responsibility, bro.
00:34:46.000 Which is, you've got to start doing, you've got to start doing your own original expression.
00:34:53.000 Because there's one thing to be technically brilliant and to be, and he improvises within it.
00:34:56.000 I mean, he also improvises.
00:34:58.000 I mean, dude, he does, he'll do an amalgam, he'll do like a composite set where you're just like, what in the world is he doing with a guitar?
00:35:05.000 There's nothing wrong with doing a little bit of cover band action, like a few cover songs, but that's a real trap for young bands that want to perform in bars and make a living. 0.97
00:35:13.000 Because people don't want to hear your fucking original songs for the most part. 0.90
00:35:16.000 Especially as background music where they're trying to get laid. 0.99
00:35:19.000 They want to hear Sweet Home Alabama.
00:35:21.000 That's right. 1.00
00:35:21.000 Sing it, bitch. 1.00
00:35:22.000 That's right. 1.00
00:35:22.000 We don't want to hear, you know, my time on the lake. 1.00
00:35:25.000 But you get to a point when you reach physical mastery, like this guy has, and he's gone beyond that.
00:35:31.000 He's very innovative with the guitar.
00:35:33.000 He's not copping, clapping.
00:35:34.000 He's doing his own thing.
00:35:35.000 There's a big difference, though, between that and writing your own music.
00:35:38.000 There's a giant difference.
00:35:40.000 It's like the ability to tell a joke, you know, that you stole from someone, and the ability to write a joke like that yourself.
00:35:46.000 That's right.
00:35:46.000 We can all name a few people that can't do one of those things.
00:35:50.000 We all know a few guys that are really successful that have made a career out of ripping off other people's ideas because of the fact they can't do both.
00:35:59.000 This is the dude right here.
00:36:01.000 Oh, there he is.
00:36:02.000 Yeah, look at him.
00:36:03.000 Watch him.
00:36:10.000 He's shredding.
00:36:11.000 He does the craziest things on guitar.
00:36:14.000 That's one thing. 1.00
00:36:17.000 That's that Joe Satriani type shit, right? 1.00
00:36:26.000 I like that he's fat, too. 1.00
00:36:28.000 He's lost weight now, but he's a monster, dude. 1.00
00:36:31.000 He's a monster. 0.91
00:36:32.000 He's playing guitar with his face right now, folks. 0.99
00:36:34.000 Yeah.
00:36:37.000 This guitar playing you're hearing right now is with this dude's mouth.
00:36:43.000 That's pretty crazy. 1.00
00:36:44.000 Yeah, he's a nut. 0.99
00:36:45.000 And he lives in Florida? 1.00
00:36:47.000 Yep.
00:36:47.000 It's weird.
00:36:48.000 That seems to be the only good thing that comes out of Florida, is occasionally they have some good musicians.
00:36:54.000 Yep. 0.99
00:36:55.000 Everything else sucks. 0.98
00:36:58.000 I mean, I have family members that live there, folks. 0.97
00:37:02.000 I love people in Florida.
00:37:02.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:37:03.000 My actual parents live in Florida.
00:37:04.000 But let's be honest.
00:37:06.000 Let's be honest.
00:37:07.000 Honestly, let's be honest.
00:37:09.000 Nancy Grace.
00:37:11.000 Yeah.
00:37:12.000 Nancy Grace would starve to death if it wasn't for Florida. 1.00
00:37:15.000 Right? 1.00
00:37:16.000 Bitch would have nothing to talk about. 1.00
00:37:17.000 That's a good joke! 1.00
00:37:18.000 Barely.
00:37:19.000 But, you know, it's like, they came out, like, Skinner came out of Florida.
00:37:23.000 There's been some good bands out of Florida.
00:37:25.000 But, like, name a good comedian that came out of Florida.
00:37:27.000 Yeah.
00:37:28.000 I'm waiting.
00:37:29.000 I know.
00:37:29.000 I don't know.
00:37:30.000 I guess Tom Rhodes.
00:37:31.000 Did Tom Rhodes come out of Florida?
00:37:33.000 I don't know.
00:37:33.000 I'm sure they're out there, yeah.
00:37:35.000 I think, yeah, Tom Rhodes is from Orlando.
00:37:37.000 I just appreciate comedy or a musical instrument or anything that takes a really long time to get good at.
00:37:42.000 Yeah, I had a buddy.
00:37:44.000 I had a buddy that...
00:37:45.000 I gotta dance around this without giving out any names.
00:37:49.000 I have a buddy that... 0.94
00:37:51.000 During the 80s, especially, stand-up comedy was pretty fucking wild. 0.93
00:37:58.000 There was zero accountability. 0.90
00:38:00.000 There was no emailing.
00:38:03.000 There was no... 1.00
00:38:04.000 People got coked up and they did some wild shit. 0.99
00:38:07.000 Basically, it was just a story. 1.00
00:38:10.000 You didn't have to worry about someone Facebook picturing you tied up with a hundred dicks stuffed into your mouth. 0.99
00:38:16.000 The good old days. 0.99
00:38:18.000 There was a woman that was working at a comedy club, a manager of a comedy club. 0.99
00:38:24.000 My friend went down there to perform and fell in love.
00:38:27.000 You know, and then started living down there in Florida.
00:38:30.000 But then it turns out as, you know, he was there for a little while, he started, people were like, can I talk to you for a second?
00:38:38.000 Pulled him aside and they're like, just, you know, I would want to know this, what I'm going to tell you, so I'm going to tell you.
00:38:44.000 And just dudes would come into town and just run trains on her. 1.00
00:38:49.000 Oh, no. 0.99
00:38:49.000 And she was famous for, like, guys tying her up and, like, all their friends just fucking her face and taking pictures of it. 0.99
00:38:58.000 Oh, there it is. 0.99
00:38:58.000 It was just... 0.99
00:38:59.000 Complete, total chaos.
00:39:01.000 Like, no...
00:39:02.000 I mean, she was a total wild woman. 1.00
00:39:05.000 Wow. 1.00
00:39:05.000 And then this poor fuck came into town, and she winked at him and gave him a hug, and he was in love. 1.00
00:39:11.000 And so he moved there, you know, and crushed him. 1.00
00:39:15.000 Crushed him?
00:39:16.000 Devastated his life, because he married this woman. 1.00
00:39:18.000 No!
00:39:18.000 Yes, he did, yes.
00:39:19.000 And then along the way, it started, like, unfalling.
00:39:23.000 Like, guys would come into town...
00:39:25.000 And, you know, they had been running trains on her for the last ten years, you know, when she was managing this club.
00:39:30.000 I'm so turned on right now, but keep going.
00:39:32.000 Are we partying?
00:39:33.000 She's like, oh, I'm married now. 1.00
00:39:34.000 And they're like, what the fuck? 1.00
00:39:36.000 You're married? 1.00
00:39:37.000 Like, everybody was like, there's no way.
00:39:38.000 That's not possible.
00:39:39.000 Like, how is that possible?
00:39:40.000 And so, eventually she went back to her wild ways. 0.95
00:39:44.000 Because he divorced her?
00:39:45.000 No, well, no.
00:39:46.000 Yeah, like almost right away, she went right back to it.
00:39:49.000 While she was married?
00:39:50.000 Yes.
00:39:51.000 That's good.
00:39:52.000 So this poor guy...
00:39:54.000 Can't say any names.
00:39:55.000 This poor guy who was a friend.
00:39:57.000 I really liked the guy.
00:39:58.000 And we came up together.
00:39:59.000 We were in Boston.
00:40:00.000 We were open micers together.
00:40:02.000 And he had some real potential.
00:40:03.000 But it's amazing how a devastating breakup can affect people in such an incredible way that they emotionally never recover from it.
00:40:15.000 And it's one of the reasons why, in my opinion...
00:40:19.000 It's so important to get children involved in competitive athletics and competitive things so they learn how to lose things.
00:40:28.000 They learn how to lose games.
00:40:30.000 You learn how to lose relationships.
00:40:32.000 You learn how to lose things.
00:40:34.000 Losing things is important.
00:40:36.000 Expectations that don't come true.
00:40:38.000 All that stuff.
00:40:38.000 Well, it's also important to know that you can bounce back.
00:40:41.000 When you've bounced back before, you understand about bouncing back.
00:40:44.000 But when you've only experienced fear...
00:40:48.000 And then insecurity and then the devastating feeling of loss compounds that.
00:40:53.000 You never want that again.
00:40:55.000 You'll orchestrate your life so you'll never fail again.
00:40:58.000 And you'll never take a chance again.
00:41:00.000 And you also have to have friends.
00:41:03.000 Those are important aspects.
00:41:05.000 Like a loner who gets dumped, those are the guys that put guns in their mouths.
00:41:09.000 But you also need a mentor.
00:41:11.000 You need somebody who's been through it before.
00:41:12.000 That's where a coach comes in to help you navigate that.
00:41:16.000 Not a coach, a buddy, a group of friends, a whole bunch of friends.
00:41:19.000 Sure, but there's also, when you are trying to get really good at something, a lot of times you have somebody who's older who can help you navigate through the plateaus, help you get familiar with it.
00:41:28.000 That's why, just put your attention on something. 0.94
00:41:31.000 I don't give a shit what it is taking action, because there's always a lesson there. 0.98
00:41:35.000 It's almost like... 0.98
00:41:36.000 The thing in and of itself is less important than what you learn by trying to get good at it in a way.
00:41:42.000 Well, it's also because these things like breakups and these devastating events that can happen to a person, they don't get treated with the proper respect by the people that are raising you.
00:41:54.000 They get treated like, oh, someone broke your heart, you're going to be fine.
00:41:59.000 It's not that simple, okay?
00:42:01.000 What you're dealing with is an incredible shift in the emotional state. 1.00
00:42:05.000 And if this person does not know how to navigate that shift, they don't know how to get out of that situation, it can be a motherfucker. 1.00
00:42:13.000 Getting your ass kicked can do that to you, you know? 1.00
00:42:19.000 Being humiliated can do that to you? 1.00
00:42:21.000 You remember Carrie at the prom? 1.00
00:42:24.000 They pour the blood on her head and she just fucking goes crazy and people start flying through the walls and shit. 0.99
00:42:30.000 But that's real. 1.00
00:42:31.000 That feeling that you can get when people are angry at you or hate you.
00:42:37.000 That horrific feeling when you bomb.
00:42:40.000 How about that? 0.80
00:42:41.000 Some guys bomb and they literally want to go to the hotel room and slice their wrists.
00:42:46.000 I've seen three comics with great potential do really well their first time, do really well their second time, and obviously like stand-up, they get up and try to do the same thing with another crowd, and they die because it wasn't their friends.
00:42:56.000 They never do stand-up again.
00:42:59.000 And they have potential.
00:43:00.000 And they have great potential, but they never do it again, you know?
00:43:04.000 This friend of mine, it was an early lesson about what can happen.
00:43:08.000 I had some good early lessons.
00:43:09.000 I had a real nice girlfriend in high school.
00:43:12.000 She was a very, very nice person.
00:43:14.000 She was not mean at all.
00:43:17.000 But when you're 14 years old, relationships don't really last.
00:43:21.000 And from her, I went on to other ones.
00:43:24.000 And one of the other ones, I dated this girl that was just... 1.00
00:43:30.000 You could roll a dick by her like a kitten. 1.00
00:43:35.000 You could roll a ball of yarn by a kitten and they just jump on it. 1.00
00:43:38.000 That's what this girl was like. 0.89
00:43:39.000 Hold on.
00:43:39.000 This is your girlfriend?
00:43:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:43:41.000 She's pretty, too.
00:43:42.000 That's a really funny metaphor.
00:43:44.000 She couldn't help herself.
00:43:45.000 I mean, I've seen people that can help themselves and I've seen people that can't.
00:43:49.000 This girl could not help herself.
00:43:50.000 First of all, it was Catholic. 1.00
00:43:52.000 She was raised in Catholic school and they suppressed the shit out of her. 1.00
00:43:57.000 Right. 1.00
00:43:57.000 They make you wear this one fucking outfit, and they suppress the shit out of you, and psychologically, all you had to do was get this girl alone. 1.00
00:44:04.000 Any guy could get this girl alone, and that was a wrap. 1.00
00:44:06.000 It was over.
00:44:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:44:08.000 She was crazy. 0.74
00:44:08.000 And I didn't really even find out how crazy she was until after we stopped dating, and then she would tell me stories. 0.74
00:44:13.000 We worked together, and she'd tell me stories about this new guy she was dating, and how she liked him to smack her, and he would beat her up, and she liked it.
00:44:20.000 She's like, I don't know what to do because I like it. 0.93
00:44:22.000 She was so crazy.
00:44:25.000 It completely lowered my expectations of loss.
00:44:30.000 I came home one day, and I didn't actually come home.
00:44:33.000 I was getting up in the morning because I had a paper route.
00:44:37.000 I delivered newspapers for a job for a long time.
00:44:41.000 Many, many, many, many, many years.
00:44:43.000 All throughout high school.
00:44:45.000 As soon as I could drive, that was one of my first jobs.
00:44:48.000 And while I was fighting, it was one of my jobs because I could make a couple hundred bucks a week.
00:44:53.000 All I had to do was get up in the morning by 5 a.m., deliver my newspaper route, and then I'd come back home and go right back to sleep again.
00:44:59.000 So I did that for a long-ass time.
00:45:01.000 And I would have to get up really early on Sunday morning.
00:45:05.000 Essentially, it would be Saturday night.
00:45:06.000 So Saturday night at 4 o'clock in the morning, that's when I would be up.
00:45:09.000 And outside my house is my friend and this girl, and he's fingering her in the front seat.
00:45:17.000 Oh, no.
00:45:17.000 Yeah.
00:45:18.000 Oh, God.
00:45:19.000 She was crazy!
00:45:21.000 God! 0.99
00:45:22.000 The girl was crazy. 1.00
00:45:23.000 Oh, that's so crazy. 0.94
00:45:23.000 So I slam my hand on the hood, and I go, ah! 0.94
00:45:27.000 And they're like, you know, I was laughing at them.
00:45:31.000 Then I got in my car and drove away.
00:45:32.000 I didn't say a word.
00:45:33.000 And I didn't talk to her for like a week.
00:45:35.000 Wow.
00:45:35.000 You know what else?
00:45:37.000 She was not my girlfriend at the time.
00:45:39.000 At that time, she was a girl I was dating.
00:45:42.000 I should be really clear.
00:45:43.000 Like, I don't think there was ever a time where we were like officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:45:47.000 We were just dating the whole time because she was crazy. 1.00
00:45:50.000 You know what helped me a lot?
00:45:51.000 And I was crazy too.
00:45:52.000 What helped me a lot navigate loss and things was actually movies.
00:45:55.000 Good movies.
00:45:56.000 What?
00:45:56.000 Yeah, like...
00:45:57.000 Like Say Again?
00:45:58.000 No, like Rocky and stuff.
00:46:01.000 When I was wrestling, I remember...
00:46:03.000 You think about these seminal moments...
00:46:04.000 Say Anything?
00:46:05.000 Was it Say Anything?
00:46:05.000 That's a great movie, by the way.
00:46:07.000 No, it's not.
00:46:07.000 How dare you?
00:46:08.000 I loved it.
00:46:10.000 But you think of these seminal moments in your life, and I remember I was signed up for...
00:46:14.000 I went to boarding school because my family was still in Saudi Arabia, and I'm alone there, and I signed up for jogging because I was too afraid to sign up for wrestling because I had done judo before that.
00:46:24.000 I was like, oh, these guys are too tough.
00:46:25.000 So inside of a jogging, this kid Gary Lane had seen me put some kid in a headlock and he goes, hey, and he drags me over to the wrestling mat and I just signed up and next thing I know I was wrestling and I wonder what I'd be if I hadn't, you know, been a wrestler.
00:46:37.000 It changed my whole life.
00:46:38.000 But the idea of like when I would lose at something...
00:46:43.000 I remember like I would think back to my heroes in movies like Rocky or whatever and just the example of if you lose, keep trying and you'll win in the end.
00:46:52.000 It was always that feeling.
00:46:53.000 I think that in that sense that's where art or movies can play a big role in your life, man. 0.99
00:46:57.000 Yeah, but it could also give you some bullshit idea that that white guy could really beat up that black guy. 0.99
00:47:03.000 Come on! 1.00
00:47:04.000 Don't ruin Rocky for me, bro!
00:47:06.000 Rocky was real!
00:47:08.000 5'8", 160-pound man is really the heavyweight champion of the world.
00:47:14.000 By the way, that's exactly right.
00:47:16.000 He was 155 pounds when he did Rocky IV. Was he really that light?
00:47:20.000 Yeah.
00:47:21.000 How do you know that?
00:47:22.000 That's what I read a long time ago.
00:47:23.000 From who, though? 1.00
00:47:24.000 People lie about shit. 1.00
00:47:25.000 No, he's not a big framed guy, right? 1.00
00:47:27.000 Now he is.
00:47:28.000 He looks big now.
00:47:29.000 Yeah.
00:47:30.000 But his body was...
00:47:31.000 If you look at it...
00:47:31.000 If you do 10 IUs of growth...
00:47:33.000 Bring up Rocky IV when he fought Drago.
00:47:37.000 Take a look at his frame.
00:47:38.000 You can see his legs are thin.
00:47:40.000 Well, what you really should put up is him at 66 years old.
00:47:46.000 There's a picture I put on my Twitter the other day.
00:47:47.000 Did you see what Geraldo did?
00:47:49.000 No. 1.00
00:47:51.000 Geraldo Rivera put a picture of himself naked, essentially, with his towel, like, barely over his cock. 0.99
00:48:00.000 And it said, like, 70 is the new 50. Is Geraldo 70 years old? 0.99
00:48:06.000 Yes, he's 70 years old.
00:48:07.000 And he looks really good.
00:48:08.000 Let me see a picture, please.
00:48:09.000 Yeah, it's all over the internet.
00:48:11.000 And what's really funny is he took it down.
00:48:14.000 He put the picture up and then he decided it was like, you know, I don't know, too embarrassing. 0.99
00:48:20.000 He fucked up. 0.99
00:48:21.000 You know, look at that. 1.00
00:48:22.000 Look at that picture.
00:48:25.000 He's awesome.
00:48:26.000 He looks great.
00:48:27.000 Look at that picture, man.
00:48:28.000 He's still got that awesome mustache. 1.00
00:48:30.000 Oh, the mustache is a motherfucker. 1.00
00:48:32.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:48:32.000 Dude, and he boxed. 1.00
00:48:33.000 I think he was kind of a good box. 1.00
00:48:35.000 If that guy pulled his cock out and it was holding his knuckles up and going outside like karate chop hand forward towards you with his fat cock, he would be nervous. 1.00
00:48:46.000 If you broke into that guy's house and his cock was oiled up and he was knuckles up, just pulling it in your direction, you would drop your gum and jump out of a fucking window. 1.00
00:48:55.000 Well, thanks for an image I've never had in my head until now. 1.00
00:48:57.000 You got that image.
00:48:58.000 Look at how low he keeps the towel. 1.00
00:49:01.000 Like, you insane bastard. 1.00
00:49:02.000 He's great. 1.00
00:49:03.000 He looks great, though.
00:49:04.000 Seven years old.
00:49:05.000 That's tight skin.
00:49:06.000 First of all, he looks like he's about 8% body fat.
00:49:08.000 I mean, seriously.
00:49:09.000 Look at all the striations in his chest.
00:49:11.000 Yeah.
00:49:11.000 The guy obviously works hard.
00:49:13.000 He's in incredible shape.
00:49:14.000 No doubt, man.
00:49:15.000 But I don't know why he didn't keep it up there. 1.00
00:49:17.000 Fuck all those people, man. 1.00
00:49:18.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:49:18.000 Let them get crazy. 1.00
00:49:20.000 At 70, you're allowed to do that.
00:49:22.000 At 70, that's fantastic.
00:49:23.000 You're not.
00:49:23.000 You're not if you're a man.
00:49:25.000 If you're a woman, you're allowed to do that at any age.
00:49:28.000 A woman can do that at any age. 1.00
00:49:29.000 You know why?
00:49:30.000 Because we want to see it.
00:49:31.000 Right.
00:49:32.000 But a man, no woman wants to see that and no man wants to see that. 1.00
00:49:36.000 So it's a dark corner.
00:49:38.000 I guess there's probably a few 60-year-olds that are like, I still can get wet.
00:49:43.000 No, I heard somebody say one time, the difference between men and women is that women look really good static and men look really good when they're doing what they're good at.
00:49:52.000 So when there's movement, playing a guitar, kicking a soccer ball or Maybe.
00:49:57.000 I don't think it's really a visual thing as much with women. 1.00
00:50:00.000 It's certainly an aspect of it, which is why really handsome men do well.
00:50:05.000 I mean, there's the facial features and everything, the Fibonacci sequence.
00:50:09.000 Yeah, the symmetry of the face.
00:50:10.000 That's super important to people.
00:50:12.000 But for women, there's all these other variables, too. 1.00
00:50:15.000 Like personality, sense of humor, the ability to take care of yourself.
00:50:19.000 Look at Stallone at 66. Stop it!
00:50:21.000 Just shut the fuck up, man. 1.00
00:50:23.000 Are you kidding me? 1.00
00:50:24.000 That's insane.
00:50:26.000 The inside is black and sponge-like.
00:50:29.000 His entire inside of his body.
00:50:31.000 It's like it's waiting to make its way to the surface of his skin.
00:50:34.000 You know what?
00:50:34.000 I want what he's on, and I don't care what anybody says.
00:50:37.000 And when you look that good at 66, I'm very impressed.
00:50:40.000 That's my canary Nicole on. 1.00
00:50:42.000 Yeah, no kidding.
00:50:43.000 Here's the other thought about that.
00:50:45.000 People are like, what are the negative side effects?
00:50:48.000 You're 66. That's the negative side effect. 0.94
00:50:51.000 The negative side effect is being 66. No matter what negative side effects the drugs have, they ain't shit on death. 0.99
00:50:58.000 Okay, because death is the ultimate negative side effect of life itself. 0.97
00:51:02.000 And it comes a certain point in time where death becomes inevitable.
00:51:05.000 Whether it's at 66 or whether it's at 86, you cannot have a physique like that unless you incorporate science into your diet.
00:51:13.000 Oh, yeah.
00:51:14.000 You're not getting that from just lifting weights and eating.
00:51:16.000 It doesn't exist at 66. It exists at 30. There's 30-year-old guys that are built like that that have never touched hormones, never done anything.
00:51:25.000 There's guys that are in their 40s that look fantastic, that have never fucked with anything unhealthy in their life, never done a steroid, never supplemented their testosterone, never done anything but eat good and work hard.
00:51:38.000 But at 50...
00:51:40.000 And then 66?
00:51:42.000 No, they don't exist.
00:51:43.000 They don't exist.
00:51:44.000 You can't look like that.
00:51:46.000 Do you know what's on the horizon for hormones? 1.00
00:51:48.000 Oh, fuck yes I do. 0.99
00:51:49.000 Not only do I know what's on the horizon for hormones, hormones are just one aspect of the human body. 0.99
00:51:55.000 The most fascinating conversation that I had recently for the show was I got a chance to talk to Ray Kurzweil.
00:52:02.000 Oh my god.
00:52:02.000 Yeah.
00:52:03.000 Did you really?
00:52:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:52:04.000 I've interviewed him for over an hour.
00:52:05.000 He's great.
00:52:06.000 First of all, he's a sweetie.
00:52:08.000 He's a really nice guy.
00:52:10.000 Kind, easy to communicate with.
00:52:12.000 Sure.
00:52:13.000 Intelligent.
00:52:13.000 There he is.
00:52:14.000 There's us together.
00:52:14.000 Oh, my God.
00:52:15.000 Great guy.
00:52:16.000 But what he was talking about was these...
00:52:20.000 New innovations in modern science and medical science that are going to allow people to literally have superhuman abilities out of the gate.
00:52:31.000 Nanobots and stuff. 0.87
00:52:32.000 Yeah, you're going to have a real problem with shit like the Olympics when a person like you can take a shot and then all of a sudden you have these artificial blood cells that are a million times more effective. 0.99
00:52:44.000 He said you're literally going to be able to hold your breath and jump in. 0.99
00:52:48.000 No, no, no.
00:52:49.000 Four hours.
00:52:50.000 Jump into the bottom of the pool and hold your breath for four hours on a single breath. 1.00
00:52:55.000 Four fucking hours, man. 0.99
00:52:57.000 That's in the singularity's near. 1.00
00:52:59.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:53:00.000 But when the guy says it to you, to your face, and you know he's a lot fucking smarter than you, it's like one of those, like, what are we up for? 0.98
00:53:08.000 What's coming? 0.95
00:53:09.000 He talks about how they reverse-engineered the red blood cell of a dog, and they're doing that with a human red blood cell.
00:53:14.000 And now they're going to take a nanobot and they're going to copy it but make it more efficient at what that red blood cell does and then they'll shoot it into you.
00:53:22.000 It'll be a red blood cell nanobot and that'll oxygenate your blood. 0.79
00:53:26.000 And it's going to literally move on from there until we're like Wolverine, until we have adamantium skeletons.
00:53:33.000 That's not outside the realm of possibility.
00:53:35.000 So crazy.
00:53:36.000 We're meshing with machines.
00:53:37.000 They're probably not going to do it the way it's in that movie, but if you think about Wolverine the comic book, the whole idea was that he had these metal bones, this incredible metal structure, and then on top of that, he had skin and a body that would heal itself instantly.
00:53:54.000 If you cut him, it would just...
00:53:56.000 Seal up.
00:53:57.000 And you look at it like, oh, that'd be cool.
00:53:59.000 That's coming!
00:54:00.000 That's 100%.
00:54:01.000 It's on the horizon.
00:54:02.000 If we keep innovating, that is going to happen.
00:54:06.000 If you can hold your breath at the bottom of the ocean for four fucking hours on a single breath, they're going to be able to figure out a way to make your skin heal, not in a week, not in a year, not in six months, but in six seconds. 0.52
00:54:19.000 You'll grow skin. 0.95
00:54:19.000 They're going to be able to When are we going to be able to gene dope? 0.95
00:54:23.000 It's coming too.
00:54:25.000 It's coming.
00:54:26.000 Myostatin inhibitors.
00:54:27.000 That's what they accidentally have when they inbreed those dogs, those whippets. 1.00
00:54:31.000 And those cows. 0.98
00:54:32.000 And those cows. 0.98
00:54:33.000 But they've also started doing it intentionally to mice.
00:54:36.000 The mice live longer.
00:54:38.000 And they don't lose muscle tone.
00:54:40.000 They have giant muscles.
00:54:41.000 They look like Hulk mice.
00:54:43.000 See if you can pull up a picture of the Hulk mice.
00:54:45.000 Hulk mice myostatin inhibitors.
00:54:48.000 So when do I get that?
00:54:50.000 Because I want to get into the UFC. No, your comedy would be fucking horrible. 0.99
00:54:56.000 You always want to be vulnerable up there. 0.99
00:54:59.000 It's so true. 0.84
00:54:59.000 Your style. 0.84
00:55:00.000 It's so true. 0.84
00:55:01.000 You have to rewrite your whole episode.
00:55:02.000 I know!
00:55:03.000 I talk about how I'm built for dance and not for war. 1.00
00:55:07.000 That fucking bit that you did. 0.99
00:55:08.000 I really enjoyed seeing you. 1.00
00:55:10.000 Brian and I, we work together sometimes.
00:55:12.000 We're going to be working together in Toronto, September 19th.
00:55:16.000 But we worked together recently just by freak accident.
00:55:20.000 I was in town filming my TV show while he was working at the Improv in D.C., So I came by and got a chance to watch your set.
00:55:27.000 Oh my god, it was so fun. 1.00
00:55:30.000 The shit about running through weed. 1.00
00:55:32.000 Me and Todd, we were crying laughing. 1.00
00:55:35.000 It was really funny stuff.
00:55:36.000 One of my most satisfying experiences, as far back as I can remember, is listening to you hackle at my jokes when I was doing stand-up, watching one of my best friends in the world.
00:55:46.000 There's nothing more satisfying I swear to God, I'm not just saying this.
00:55:50.000 I was thinking about that.
00:55:52.000 To be able to make somebody like you, not only a great comic, but such a close friend, I was killing you, and I could see you cackling and just loving the stuff that I wrote.
00:56:03.000 It's like, I did this, and one of my best, my brother's out there laughing his ass off.
00:56:07.000 That's a beautiful feeling, man.
00:56:09.000 I haven't had a feeling like that in a long time.
00:56:11.000 That was incredible.
00:56:12.000 I love that as well.
00:56:13.000 That's one of the things I love most about working with guys like Joey Diaz and Ari and Red Band and Duncan is that we love each other.
00:56:21.000 You have the greatest laugh, too. 0.98
00:56:24.000 You're just fucking howling back there. 0.99
00:56:27.000 Diaz is even better. 1.00
00:56:29.000 When Diaz is laughing, when I hear him, I hear him, ha ha ha!
00:56:34.000 I had a new bit last week in Vegas.
00:56:37.000 We were working together.
00:56:38.000 We did the joint in Vegas.
00:56:39.000 I could hear Joey out of 2,000 people.
00:56:42.000 That's so great!
00:56:43.000 2,000 people.
00:56:44.000 I could hear Diaz when I was doing this new bit.
00:56:48.000 Yeah, man.
00:56:50.000 What we were talking about before, about needing support...
00:56:55.000 About people, when they get through things, they need support, and it's also why you need to learn how to lose things.
00:57:01.000 You also need to be around other folks that are fun and warm and friendly, and that's big.
00:57:09.000 And people that you respect, and you look at them, and they make you want to get your shit together.
00:57:14.000 They make you want to get things done. 0.61
00:57:16.000 And if you can...
00:57:18.000 If you can accumulate as many of those people as you can in your life, the more you can do that, the more you can be one of those people, and the more you can accumulate those people, the more happy and more enjoyable this thing's going to be for you.
00:57:29.000 Yeah, you know, David Bland's doing a new special pretty soon.
00:57:32.000 What is he going to do?
00:57:33.000 Stand still for a year?
00:57:34.000 Yeah, no, he's doing...
00:57:35.000 Stand still for one year!
00:57:37.000 Dude, wait till you see...
00:57:37.000 I helped him edit his...
00:57:39.000 He's still standing still.
00:57:43.000 Wait till you see what he's doing now.
00:57:44.000 It's six months in.
00:57:45.000 Can you keep it up, ladies and gentlemen?
00:57:46.000 He's standing still for one year.
00:57:47.000 No.
00:57:48.000 Nope, he's doing magic for the likes of Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking.
00:57:52.000 I'll tell you what, you can do a card trick in front of Stephen Hawking. 0.95
00:57:55.000 It's pretty fucking easy. 0.95
00:57:55.000 You can't move his eyes. 0.95
00:57:56.000 You know what he said, though?
00:58:00.000 All I know is the dude, when that special comes up...
00:58:03.000 Nothing up my sleeve. 1.00
00:58:03.000 He can't see your fucking sleeves. 1.00
00:58:05.000 He sees like a slit. 1.00
00:58:07.000 Like a gun, like Iron Man's eyeballs.
00:58:10.000 That's what he sees, Ford.
00:58:11.000 Wait till you see.
00:58:12.000 Wait, he came to my house.
00:58:13.000 He did my podcast, okay?
00:58:14.000 Stephen Hawking?
00:58:15.000 No, David Blaine.
00:58:16.000 And he comes to my house, and I have a couple of my friends there, all right?
00:58:20.000 Brandon Schaub, Dove David, a couple of others.
00:58:22.000 They're like, whatever.
00:58:23.000 Ah, it's David Blaine.
00:58:23.000 He starts doing magic for them.
00:58:25.000 Okay, that's a douche move.
00:58:26.000 That's like you coming to someone's house and start doing your act.
00:58:29.000 You climb up on the coffee table, stick over the magazine.
00:58:31.000 No, no, I asked him to.
00:58:32.000 That's even worse.
00:58:33.000 How about someone coming to your house and you ask him to do jokes?
00:58:35.000 That's even worse.
00:58:36.000 Listen, until you see him do, until you see him, and hold that thought, next time he's in LA, we'll hang out, and I just want you to, just so you know, your mind will be blown.
00:58:48.000 You're going to go, he's magic.
00:58:49.000 He's really magic.
00:58:50.000 That's what you're going to say.
00:58:51.000 Just you suggesting that that could ever happen is exhausting.
00:58:54.000 And I am, and I'm standing by it.
00:58:56.000 And when you're going to do a podcast and go, Brian was right.
00:58:58.000 Brian is right.
00:58:59.000 So exhausting. 0.70
00:59:00.000 He's a freak.
00:59:01.000 He's magic.
00:59:01.000 He does magic.
00:59:02.000 Does he do magic, Brian?
00:59:03.000 Oh, but the point I was making is that he said, I was just, now it's lost, but he was saying the most important thing is just surrounding yourself with people that support you.
00:59:11.000 I mean, everybody I know is successful always says that to one extent. 0.99
00:59:14.000 You've got to have people around you that help you go through this shit. 0.99
00:59:17.000 I don't care how successful you are. 0.99
00:59:19.000 You always go to periods where you're lonely, where it sucks, where you don't think you're self-doubt. 1.00
00:59:23.000 You've got to have your fucking friends. 0.99
00:59:24.000 How many times have I called you when you and I have real talks? 1.00
00:59:29.000 The NSA has all those on file now.
00:59:31.000 I know.
00:59:32.000 How about that?
00:59:33.000 How about that?
00:59:33.000 Hey, Snowden, stay where you are.
00:59:36.000 Did you see that crazy video, that MSNBC video, where this woman who is an anchor, she's an anchor person, starts like mocking Snowden and telling him to turn himself in?
00:59:48.000 No.
00:59:51.000 Psychologically, it's one of the weirdest things you could ever watch.
00:59:54.000 You try to look at it and go, I am not sure what the motivation is.
00:59:58.000 I've never met a single person that doesn't think that what he exposed is important for people to know.
01:00:04.000 Not one person.
01:00:05.000 People have disagreed with why he did it, or how he did it, or what was done to compromise American security, if anything.
01:00:13.000 But no one thinks that that wasn't important for people to find out about.
01:00:17.000 So it's a very subtle and nuanced case, and it's very complicated, and it's also very significant historically.
01:00:23.000 Because we know that things are out of control now.
01:00:25.000 This is not a doubt in the world. 0.98
01:00:27.000 When they're looking at every goddamn thing that you're doing, Everywhere you walk, you're photographed. 0.97
01:00:32.000 I was in London recently. 0.99
01:00:33.000 You're photographed 255 times a day.
01:00:35.000 The fact that everyone's emails are being looked at.
01:00:38.000 Everyone.
01:00:39.000 And that this Snowden guy, who was just working there, could intercept anyone's email.
01:00:43.000 That means other people that are working for the CIA, or the NSA, rather, could just intercept your emails. 1.00
01:00:48.000 So you could tell people that you're going to go eat some shit, and they go, oh, Brian Cowan's eating shit. 1.00
01:00:54.000 They know what you're doing. 1.00
01:00:55.000 A regular person.
01:00:56.000 Not a cyborg.
01:00:57.000 Not a monk.
01:00:58.000 Not a person without emotion.
01:01:00.000 Not a person without weirdness or jealousy or hatred. 0.99
01:01:06.000 Any one person can just decide to look at your shit that works there. 0.99
01:01:11.000 It's called tyranny. 1.00
01:01:12.000 It's called tyranny.
01:01:13.000 It isn't.
01:01:13.000 It's insane.
01:01:14.000 And nobody's making enough of a fuss about it, in my opinion.
01:01:16.000 That's not the American way. 0.96
01:01:17.000 So look at this woman's reaction. 1.00
01:01:19.000 I'm going to play this shit. 1.00
01:01:20.000 Because this is going to freak you out. 1.00
01:01:21.000 It's kind of.
01:01:23.000 Really important relationships.
01:01:25.000 And we're talking about how you praise countries like Russia and Venezuela for standing against human rights violations and refusing to compromise their principles.
01:01:35.000 Seriously, Ed, where do you even come up with that?
01:01:37.000 What are you thinking?
01:01:38.000 Now, I understand you don't want to come back.
01:01:41.000 I mean, to do so would mean giving up your freedom.
01:01:43.000 Definitely before trial and likely for several months or years thereafter.
01:01:46.000 I get it!
01:01:48.000 It's in prisons in the U.S. that commit actual human rights violations.
01:01:53.000 We just talked about it.
01:01:54.000 More than 80,000 prisoners are held in solitary confinement, some for years, some indefinitely, despite the fact that solitary is cruel and psychological damaging.
01:02:03.000 I know those aren't the human rights violations, though, Ed, that you were complaining about, but you might have nothing to worry about anyway.
01:02:12.000 Because unlike most of the people in solitary confinement, including Private Bradley Manning on trial for giving data to WikiLinks, you've cultivated for yourself a level of celebrity.
01:02:24.000 And that celebrity itself may just act as the protection, another kind of cloak.
01:02:29.000 If you ever find yourself in a U.S. prison, you have made quite a spectacle of yourself, and the Obama administration will be very careful about how it treats you.
01:02:40.000 Unlike how states treat all those other prisoners.
01:02:42.000 So come on home, Ed.
01:02:44.000 Then, you know, we could talk about something else.
01:02:48.000 Sincerely, Melissa.
01:02:51.000 That's a strange video.
01:02:53.000 First of all, it's strange that it got greenlit.
01:02:55.000 That some producer said, I like it.
01:02:57.000 Let's do it.
01:02:58.000 Let it rip.
01:02:58.000 We love your copy.
01:03:00.000 You're really good at reading.
01:03:01.000 She's one of the worst persons at reading something on television than I've ever seen.
01:03:07.000 First of all, you can see that she's got some sort of a speech impediment that she's struggled with since she was young, which probably led her to have this Like, very strong desire for acceptance, which probably led her to think that it would be a good thing to, like, support the government against Snowden in that video.
01:03:24.000 I mean, I guess that's what she was saying.
01:03:25.000 I mean, it was really hard to figure out what she was saying, because although she was admitting that the government puts people in solitary confinement, she was also, like, saying, like, where do you get this stuff?
01:03:34.000 Like, talking about that Venezuela and Russia stands up for human rights violations.
01:03:38.000 One of the good things about Podcasting, my learning lesson has been how careful you have to be about saying things you think you know the answer to.
01:03:47.000 Isn't that amazing that you do that much and you still are careful? 0.99
01:03:54.000 But it's part of talking shit. 1.00
01:03:55.000 Part of the fun, entertaining shit talking is occasionally you get your facts a little bit fucked up. 0.99
01:04:00.000 Alright, we're not scientists here, folks. 0.99
01:04:02.000 Hey, I'm trying my best over here.
01:04:04.000 But what that woman was doing was really ill-advised. 1.00
01:04:07.000 It was arrogant.
01:04:09.000 It's a very complicated issue.
01:04:11.000 And the way she's approaching it...
01:04:13.000 So we can talk about other things.
01:04:14.000 Sincerely, Melissa.
01:04:15.000 Hey, Melissa, this thing that you don't want to talk about might be one of the most significant events in human history.
01:04:22.000 You know why?
01:04:23.000 Because we realize that there's no such thing as privacy.
01:04:26.000 I don't know if that's sunk in with everybody yet, but it really is...
01:04:30.000 Very close.
01:04:31.000 I mean, right now it's in the government's hands, and that will eventually trick down to the people's hands.
01:04:35.000 I think it's a huge problem.
01:04:36.000 I think the fact that I'm always being watched by a video camera somewhere is a huge problem.
01:04:42.000 Video cameras are one thing, but...
01:04:44.000 But monitoring my emails?
01:04:46.000 You guys don't tell me that you're doing that?
01:04:48.000 You don't need a warrant for that kind of stuff?
01:04:52.000 You don't need anything.
01:04:52.000 It's insane.
01:04:53.000 That's not a right.
01:04:54.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:04:57.000 And by the way, everybody, sorry to say by the way again, but remember that every dictatorship, every single oppressive government in history has always used national security as an excuse to take your freedoms away.
01:05:10.000 That's always the excuse, isn't it?
01:05:12.000 Yeah.
01:05:12.000 Look at history.
01:05:13.000 No, it is.
01:05:13.000 It's always the excuse.
01:05:14.000 Well, it's a dangerous world and we're here to protect you.
01:05:17.000 Nah, no thanks.
01:05:18.000 Don't trust you.
01:05:19.000 What's a classic thing to do to actually pump up an enemy to get them to become a threat so that you can go and attack them?
01:05:25.000 It's your reason to keep the war machine going.
01:05:27.000 That's right.
01:05:27.000 Yeah.
01:05:28.000 And you know what, man?
01:05:29.000 That's what happens when you get people that make money off a war.
01:05:33.000 And that's why there's supposed to be a bunch of laws in place to keep that from happening.
01:05:38.000 That's why Eisenhower got on television and warned about the dangers of the military-industrial complex when he was leaving office.
01:05:44.000 All of that exists because it's just like what corporations do to other countries.
01:05:50.000 If you're a good person, you wouldn't go to Venezuela and steal their oil and pollute their rivers.
01:05:56.000 You wouldn't do it. 0.99
01:05:57.000 You wouldn't do it because you would see the people cry and see people starve to death and see the fish die and you would go, wow, what I'm doing is fucked up. 0.93
01:06:04.000 But if you're some evil chemical company and the way to make money is to do that and you have stockholders and you have all these people that are putting pressure on you.
01:06:14.000 Yeah, that doesn't answer the equation as much. 0.99
01:06:16.000 One of those leather chairs that has those those rivets those brass rivets like dug deep into it like in a million different places those puffy leather chairs where they always have like some brandy on a shelf you know with some glasses and a tub of ice that they clink clink as they're pouring a drink talk listen we have a bottom line and I'm not going to Ecuador are you going to Ecuador so fuck the river fuck that river let's get that money And they just somehow or another, 0.95
01:06:44.000 even if it's not the decision made in that sort of a fashion, an X amount of people, whether it's 4,000 or 400, how many people in that corporation decide to act as an evil unit and decide to do some fucked up shit to make that money? 0.99
01:06:58.000 Or ignore an inconvenient truth. 0.98
01:07:01.000 Sure.
01:07:01.000 And if they can do that, they can also – those same sort of – Those same principles of action apply.
01:07:09.000 That's how war happens in the first place.
01:07:11.000 You can get a giant army of people to behave like psychos as long as the people around them are also behaving like psychos.
01:07:18.000 That's right.
01:07:19.000 It just becomes your new reality.
01:07:20.000 People go to war.
01:07:22.000 If you look at how people are motivated to go to war, a lot of times they are motivated around symbols, around slogans, around different kinds of propaganda.
01:07:30.000 That's always been the case.
01:07:31.000 That's been the case since the Trojan War.
01:07:34.000 Yeah.
01:07:35.000 And it's a characteristic of human beings that you have to – if you're looking at human beings as a set of ingredients, what is this thing?
01:07:43.000 Like, okay, say if you have a car.
01:07:45.000 You have a Mercedes-Benz.
01:07:48.000 It's a 1996. How many horsepower does it have?
01:07:51.000 What's it capable of doing?
01:07:52.000 How quickly can it stop from zero to 60?
01:07:55.000 What are the possibilities of this unit?
01:07:58.000 Right.
01:07:58.000 Well, human beings are just like a car in that sense.
01:08:01.000 Like, we have a lot of possibilities as far as documented behavior that's completely outside the norm.
01:08:07.000 It's a giant spectrum from killing babies to helping old people across the street and planting flowers everywhere. 0.85
01:08:14.000 We're a bipolar ape.
01:08:14.000 Well, there's just so much going on inside the possibility drawer.
01:08:19.000 If you open up the possibility drawer of human beings, like, whoo, you better sit down, because this motherfucker's capable of a lot of shit. 0.99
01:08:27.000 Incredible cruelty, incredible kindness, you know, and everything in between. 0.99
01:08:31.000 Yeah, so when you lump them all together without personal accountability, you're going to open up the potential for all this craziness, all the worst aspects of human beings when they don't have a direct action, reaction, input from the people that they're affecting.
01:08:46.000 That's exactly right.
01:08:46.000 When there's no accountability.
01:08:47.000 It's mathematical.
01:08:48.000 When you can hide behind a huge institution.
01:08:51.000 And it's almost not even about hiding behind it.
01:08:54.000 It's almost not even about not having any accountability.
01:08:57.000 It's a matter of not feeling it.
01:09:00.000 Whatever you're doing, you're not feeling. 1.00
01:09:02.000 This is one of the reasons why people can go fuck you to someone in their car. 1.00
01:09:06.000 You can drive and go fuck you. 1.00
01:09:07.000 But if it was on the street and that guy was that close to you, you wouldn't say fuck you to him. 1.00
01:09:11.000 You wouldn't stick your finger at him. 1.00
01:09:13.000 You would have to be crazy.
01:09:14.000 Yeah, because you've got to respond to that person in front of you.
01:09:17.000 You're interacting with them.
01:09:18.000 Malcolm Gladwell did that amazing study about how the murder rate went up when they built...
01:09:23.000 They had the ghettos, and after they built those huge, huge projects, all of a sudden, you didn't live next to the guy. 0.97
01:09:32.000 The guy lived in a unit above you, and there was anonymity created.
01:09:35.000 So you could shoot somebody for their shoes because you didn't know them.
01:09:38.000 You didn't know somebody who was connected to them.
01:09:40.000 You didn't know the fabric that they came from.
01:09:43.000 It used to be in the Bronx.
01:09:46.000 When all those communities came up, they came up around a barter system, around an economic system that kind of happened organically.
01:09:54.000 When they put the Cross Bronx Expressway in there and they tore everything down and they said, you know what we're going to do?
01:09:59.000 We're going to plan the Bronx on a board.
01:10:01.000 And they planted on a board and they created these big projects.
01:10:05.000 Let's just put them all in these big buildings.
01:10:07.000 All of a sudden the murder rate went up.
01:10:09.000 And one of the theories is the fact that you suddenly now, because even if you were in a ghetto, you knew that kid's grandmother, you knew that kid's brother, everybody was connected.
01:10:19.000 You all knew each other.
01:10:21.000 The minute you put people in those buildings, now they're living in boxes and he's living on the fifth floor, you're living on the first floor, whatever, and you don't have an interaction.
01:10:30.000 The economic fabric of that community was destroyed.
01:10:33.000 So it became much easier to shoot somebody you didn't know.
01:10:37.000 And they're in your close proximity.
01:10:39.000 You don't have a relationship with them and they're right on top of you.
01:10:42.000 Exactly.
01:10:42.000 Which is very unnatural for humans.
01:10:44.000 And this is where I always say that, you know, if you think you can walk around being ignorant in today's world, you're wrong about that.
01:10:51.000 Political commitment is important in knowing why you believe something.
01:10:54.000 And this is a classic example, in my opinion, of a threat.
01:10:59.000 That is very insidious.
01:11:00.000 It's not obvious right now.
01:11:02.000 It may not be obvious, but that's why the Snowden case is very important.
01:11:05.000 It's important to at least, you don't have to have an opinion, just familiarize yourself.
01:11:10.000 Familiarize yourself with how these things happen.
01:11:13.000 History repeats itself.
01:11:15.000 Know that your freedom can be taken away from you in 2013. It can and is being taken away in this country.
01:11:21.000 Well, you know, and everybody's like, hey, listen, no one's doing anything to my freedom.
01:11:25.000 Just relax.
01:11:26.000 Stop getting crazy.
01:11:28.000 Instead of looking at it in any way that connects you to it personally, whether you're defending it or whether you're...
01:11:37.000 You're violently opposed to it.
01:11:39.000 Look at it as a trend, as a human trend, and then it becomes fascinating.
01:11:44.000 Because if you take yourself outside of it and you go, instead of going, we have to stop this corrupt government, just look at it, like step back and look at what's happening.
01:11:53.000 What is this?
01:11:54.000 What is this?
01:11:55.000 What is this?
01:11:57.000 This is a strange little thing happening here.
01:11:59.000 This is a convergence.
01:12:00.000 Well, why are the cameras everywhere?
01:12:01.000 This is a human convergence.
01:12:02.000 I know cameras solve crimes.
01:12:03.000 I know cameras do a lot of good.
01:12:04.000 But we have to ask ourselves a question.
01:12:07.000 You keep bringing up the cameras.
01:12:08.000 Well, but they're everywhere.
01:12:09.000 And by the way, I feel safer sometimes because they're there.
01:12:12.000 And I'm sure it has a positive effect.
01:12:15.000 But to what degree are we talking about?
01:12:17.000 What is the trade-off?
01:12:18.000 And who is saying enough is enough?
01:12:23.000 Where is the check and balance?
01:12:25.000 That's what I want to know.
01:12:25.000 It doesn't exist.
01:12:26.000 Okay.
01:12:26.000 Well, that's a problem.
01:12:27.000 Not only does it not exist, it can exist if you follow the pattern of human behavior.
01:12:33.000 Mm-hmm.
01:12:34.000 It's like when rich people got cell phones, do you remember that?
01:12:37.000 It was a long-ass time ago, 1980s and 90s.
01:12:41.000 Only rich people had phones, and you would occasionally see a phone, and it was like a cool thing.
01:12:45.000 I remember this comic looked into, you know Jackie Flynn?
01:12:50.000 Yeah.
01:12:50.000 Funny guy.
01:12:51.000 I love Jackie.
01:12:51.000 Jackie, he's always had a couple bucks.
01:12:54.000 His family's successful business, and he was always a part of that.
01:12:57.000 And he had a real nice car.
01:12:59.000 He had a Toyota Supra.
01:13:00.000 And another comic looked in the window, and he said, oh, I love the way that phone looks, because he had a phone in his car.
01:13:05.000 It was like 1989 or something like that.
01:13:07.000 Nobody had a phone in their car.
01:13:07.000 Way to go, Jackie.
01:13:08.000 Play the mean game of golf, too, I heard.
01:13:10.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:13:10.000 He's got this phone in his car, and I was like, whoa, only rich people can have phones in their cars.
01:13:16.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99
01:13:16.000 Now everybody has a fucking phone in their pocket that they carry around with them everywhere. 0.99
01:13:20.000 Eventually, it got so far away. 0.99
01:13:21.000 I was in Brazil, and I saw these people in this very poor neighborhood, and they all had phones.
01:13:26.000 They were on their phones.
01:13:27.000 They were talking on phones.
01:13:28.000 It's become so worldwide and world-spread.
01:13:33.000 Right now, information is freely accessible only to the people in the highest points of government. 0.62
01:13:40.000 Right now, it's only the people in the NSA, the people that have made these shady inside deals with internet providers and have gotten access to phone calls and records and text messages and shit.
01:13:51.000 It's only them. 0.87
01:13:52.000 But that's just a trend.
01:13:54.000 It's going to start with them, and then the technology is slowly but surely going to be available to everybody.
01:13:59.000 That might be a good thing, right?
01:14:00.000 It might be a good thing, but it's going to be a different thing.
01:14:03.000 And here's a problem.
01:14:04.000 Money.
01:14:05.000 Because money right now is just ones and zeros.
01:14:08.000 Money right now is just confidence.
01:14:09.000 It's just information.
01:14:10.000 It doesn't exist anymore.
01:14:12.000 There's no like, I mean, you can have a million dollars.
01:14:15.000 Exactly.
01:14:15.000 It's not like gold.
01:14:16.000 It's not like you have a stack of gold.
01:14:17.000 You have a million dollars.
01:14:18.000 So if you go to that bank...
01:14:19.000 Mm-hmm.
01:14:40.000 If you looked at that objectively, you go, well, we have a very complicated system.
01:14:44.000 There's no need to worry.
01:14:45.000 You stop and you go, what are you talking about?
01:14:47.000 You have a bunch of computers and ones and zeros.
01:14:50.000 You don't have a real money.
01:14:51.000 You don't have a real substance.
01:14:53.000 So my point is that I have a theory that as information becomes more and more freely distributed, It's going to happen.
01:15:01.000 It's going to get to a point where there's no boundaries.
01:15:03.000 There's no boundaries between thoughts.
01:15:05.000 Everyone's going to be able to read each other's minds.
01:15:06.000 You're all going to be able to communicate through Wi-Fi.
01:15:09.000 And you're all going to know everything that everybody else knows.
01:15:11.000 You're not just going to know what you tell me.
01:15:13.000 I'm going to know what's going on in your mind.
01:15:15.000 I'm going to know what you can remember.
01:15:16.000 You're like a central neural net.
01:15:18.000 And we're going to be able to create artificial intelligence.
01:15:21.000 Recording of memories. 0.97
01:15:23.000 It's far more accurate than the shitty memories we carry around in our brain.
01:15:26.000 And when that happens, you're going to have access to mine and I'm going to have access to yours.
01:15:31.000 And it's going to be a requirement eventually that everybody has some sort of a neural recorder.
01:15:35.000 Because people are going to want to know what you're doing.
01:15:37.000 They're going to want to have full access to your thoughts and ideas.
01:15:39.000 We're going to be able to solve all the crimes instantly.
01:15:41.000 That's going to be the answer to it.
01:15:42.000 They're going to say there's going to be 100% accountability.
01:15:45.000 No one will ever get away with a crime again because we're all going to know exactly what everybody does when they do it.
01:15:49.000 So we're all going to sign up for it.
01:15:51.000 What's that say about privacy?
01:15:52.000 There's going to be none, but my point is money's going to go that way too.
01:15:56.000 There's going to be no money anymore.
01:15:58.000 It's going to reach a point where it's just resources.
01:16:00.000 And it's just, there has to be some sort of a fair system as far as the distribution of resources. 0.98
01:16:05.000 But the idea that you're going to keep them in a bank and get them out with a card, good fucking luck. 0.97
01:16:09.000 There's ones and zeros, man. 0.95
01:16:11.000 It's not going to mean anything when everyone can get access to it.
01:16:15.000 They've already figured out a way, they're on the preliminary stages where they can map, they can, I guess, they show you an image.
01:16:23.000 And then they look at your brain activity when you see that image.
01:16:26.000 And then when they show you the image again, The brain activity shows up in the same kind of pattern.
01:16:34.000 So you recognize something and they can tell.
01:16:37.000 So what the idea is is that if you robbed a bank or you were a criminal and you were in a certain place and they show you that place and they scan your brain When they tell you about the place and your brain registers a certain thing,
01:16:54.000 they can show you a picture of it.
01:16:55.000 If your brain registers that image, the same kind of brain activity, they can tell whether you've actually seen it before.
01:17:02.000 It was this weird kind of idea.
01:17:04.000 So we're getting closer and closer.
01:17:05.000 But when you say zeros and ones, you're talking about money no longer being real.
01:17:10.000 This guy named James Rickards, who wrote a book called Currency Wars, did my podcast, The Pentagon.
01:17:16.000 Hired him to stage a currency war.
01:17:22.000 So simulate what someone like China could do to our currency system. 0.99
01:17:27.000 And because it's all computerized and it's all sort of ones and zeros, he basically was hired by the Pentagon to come up with a scenario whereby the Chinese could set up, say, ten fake hedge fund companies that end up You know,
01:17:45.000 doing something to buying all this stock or buying just up a bunch of stuff and getting the market to crash.
01:17:50.000 It'd be a very difficult thing to do, but that was his job.
01:17:53.000 It was pretty fascinating with the idea where there is no real money.
01:17:56.000 You can really manipulate through computers sort of an entire segment of the economy and wreak havoc, theoretically.
01:18:03.000 And that's something the Pentagon hires people to try to do and simulate.
01:18:06.000 But it was really an interesting kind of concept.
01:18:09.000 Well, if your money is based on a computer, I mean, if it's based on calculations, you can protect it.
01:18:16.000 You can put up firewalls and you can do...
01:18:19.000 But essentially, it's just as vulnerable as a computer is.
01:18:23.000 And that's what...
01:18:25.000 One of the things about the financial system that I found to be terrifying, when I found out that stocks can be traded by bots, and they can recognize trends and trade, like, second to second.
01:18:36.000 Like, do these split-second analysis of trends.
01:18:40.000 And constantly keep earning money that way by exploiting the system and understanding which way things are moving and buying and selling.
01:18:46.000 So you're just chipping away at the block every couple seconds, making a little bit here and a little bit there, but taking essentially very little risks.
01:18:55.000 And by doing that, they can figure out a way to just extract money through a bot and that this is legal and that this is how people use the stock market.
01:19:06.000 You take the spread, you mean?
01:19:07.000 They figure out which way things are going.
01:19:11.000 By the way, the bots can do calculations and input trades faster than a person can. 0.96
01:19:18.000 They're connected to whatever the fuck our financial system is. 0.99
01:19:22.000 When I see the Dow and I see those fucking numbers scrolling through the bottom, to me that looks like a close encounter is a third kind. 0.99
01:19:30.000 Me too, bro. 0.98
01:19:30.000 The inside of the spaceship. 0.98
01:19:32.000 If they had the inside of the spaceship and they showed the alien language.
01:19:34.000 It's Greek to me, bro.
01:19:35.000 It's Greek to me.
01:19:36.000 But it's Greek to everyone.
01:19:38.000 Even if they understand it, it's still insanity. 0.99
01:19:41.000 I shouldn't say Greek, but yeah, in a way, look, Greece is fucking bankrupt right now.
01:19:46.000 How crazy is it that at one point in time, the greatest culture on the planet Earth, the most knowledgeable and filled with scholars creating beautiful works of architecture and Stuff that people still read today, 0.87
01:20:02.000 still inspired by today, some of the great Greek masters.
01:20:05.000 And then today, what's going on over there now?
01:20:08.000 Nothing. 0.99
01:20:08.000 The fucking whole thing's falling apart. 0.99
01:20:09.000 It's Detroit. 1.00
01:20:10.000 It's Detroit the country.
01:20:12.000 There's no money there. 1.00
01:20:13.000 It's a fucking wreck. 1.00
01:20:14.000 The whole thing's going bankrupt. 1.00
01:20:16.000 There's 80% unemployment rate or something crazy like that.
01:20:19.000 It's just bananas. 1.00
01:20:20.000 The whole thing's a fucking disaster. 1.00
01:20:22.000 Yeah, that's right. 1.00
01:20:24.000 Like these civilizations can hit these insane heights and then come crumbling down.
01:20:29.000 But Greece is a good example of what we're talking about.
01:20:31.000 You know, you talk about trends.
01:20:33.000 There's also something called a tipping point. 1.00
01:20:35.000 Shit happens. 1.00
01:20:36.000 Things start happening. 1.00
01:20:38.000 If you don't pay attention, things will cascade in a moment.
01:20:41.000 So nobody in Greece thought that their system was going to collapse until it was too late.
01:20:47.000 Right.
01:20:48.000 And I say that's the same thing that can happen with your freedoms.
01:20:52.000 I think that's the same thing if you're not careful, if you don't know, if you're not paying attention to who the real enemy is, or at least you don't make enough noise, or you're not paying attention to what's going on, that's the kind of stuff that can happen.
01:21:05.000 Well, it's also individuals, again, looking out for themselves, trying to extract money.
01:21:10.000 It's individuals exploiting a system, a shitty system, individuals exploiting it.
01:21:15.000 I mean, the whole housing market in this country, for the people that don't understand it, which is, by the way, everybody, by the way, by the way, Nobody understands it.
01:21:22.000 That's how it happened.
01:21:23.000 You can sort of be armchair quarterback, and you can sit back Monday morning and sort of second-guess the decisions that were made. 0.99
01:21:32.000 But the reality is, it sort of exposed that the whole thing is horseshit. 0.90
01:21:37.000 And the reason why it was horseshit was because the way it was set up, even though it didn't last... 0.89
01:21:42.000 Was a bunch of people who were able to extract insane amounts of money that made no sense.
01:21:46.000 Even though it didn't make any sense.
01:21:48.000 This is a fascinating book.
01:21:49.000 Did you sell a house?
01:21:51.000 You sold a house, right?
01:21:52.000 Yeah.
01:21:52.000 Did you make a shitload of money on it that makes no sense?
01:21:55.000 Yeah.
01:21:55.000 I sold a house in the early 2000s and I made...
01:22:00.000 I doubled the price of my house in a couple of years. 0.93
01:22:04.000 That's ridiculous.
01:22:05.000 There's no way that should have happened. 0.93
01:22:07.000 I didn't do anything to that house.
01:22:08.000 I fixed a few things, but I didn't completely redo it or anything like that.
01:22:14.000 And yet, the housing prices went up so high that I could get 100% more than what I paid for.
01:22:20.000 There's a book called The Big Short by Michael Lewis, and he basically traces how this all happened.
01:22:24.000 And there was really two people, according to him in this book, and if I'm remembering, it might have been one.
01:22:30.000 There were really two people, one of whom has Asperger's syndrome.
01:22:33.000 He was in San Jose, California, had a lazy eye, and was a true Asperger's syndrome.
01:22:39.000 And basically...
01:22:41.000 Six years before this was looking at these mortgage-backed securities, these tranches, and actually breaking them down because he was obsessed with numbers and actually really knew how they worked, how derivatives and everything worked, and he was going, oh, wait a minute.
01:22:54.000 These houses and these algorithms aren't reflecting real value.
01:22:59.000 And this isn't making sense, yet they're bundling these mortgage-backed securities and selling them.
01:23:04.000 And I don't think people are going to be able to pay their mortgages because this isn't making sense.
01:23:08.000 And he was saying that six, seven years before that and figured it out.
01:23:12.000 And then there was another guy who was this dude who was a broker who I think hooked up with this guy and started looking at it.
01:23:19.000 And he was like...
01:23:20.000 This doesn't make any sense.
01:23:22.000 This whole system is going to collapse.
01:23:24.000 They were literally trying to build Noah's Ark.
01:23:26.000 It's a great book called The Big Short, and he really does a great job of actually showing the key players who really saw this thing coming and were jumping up and down.
01:23:36.000 Did you see Inside Job?
01:23:37.000 And they were ridiculed for it.
01:23:38.000 Yes, I did.
01:23:39.000 If you like Inside Job, read The Big Short because it's amazing.
01:23:42.000 Or if you don't like to read, watch.
01:23:44.000 Inside Job.
01:23:45.000 Because it's amazing.
01:23:46.000 And the guy confronts people.
01:23:48.000 It confronts all these...
01:23:49.000 Oh, yeah.
01:23:50.000 It turns out, not only was... 0.91
01:23:52.000 I mean, Inside Job is really an apt name for it, because not only was it a crazy fucked up system that people were exploiting, the people that were passing their judgment and saying what is acceptable, what's not acceptable... 0.93
01:24:06.000 I think? 0.93
01:24:22.000 To extract money. 1.00
01:24:23.000 And then they would go work for those people and get these insane fucking jobs. 0.99
01:24:27.000 Well, the SEC. Incredible money. 0.99
01:24:28.000 The SEC. And so they looked at the trend of people like going from, you know, like from Harvard to the SEC and the SEC to some insane job where they would get fucking gazillions of dollars a year. 0.64
01:24:40.000 And they go, oh, oh, they just everyone's corrupt. 0.98
01:24:44.000 The whole thing's corrupt.
01:24:45.000 And when this guy's confronting these people in that movie, Inside Job, and they're freaking out and reacting to him, it's pretty amazing.
01:24:54.000 It is.
01:24:54.000 It's a great documentary.
01:24:56.000 It will make you want to throw a hammer through your fucking TV. The question it raises, though, is the incentive structure that was set up to blame, and how do you avoid... 0.99
01:25:06.000 Because smart people are going to take advantage of a system that's broken.
01:25:09.000 Yeah.
01:25:10.000 So how then do you – see, we all know that you're never going to control human behavior.
01:25:14.000 I mean it's going to be impossible.
01:25:15.000 And when people see an opening, they're going to take it some people.
01:25:18.000 So the idea then is how do you create a system that doesn't reward that kind of behavior?
01:25:25.000 That seems to be the biggest question.
01:25:26.000 Is that even possible?
01:25:27.000 Well, one of the ways that smart people will talk about it is to say – You still have, this guy James Rickard, who's on my show, said, the problem with Too Big to Fail, the eight biggest banks in the country, are bigger than ever.
01:25:40.000 And what that means is that the U.S. government can't let them fail.
01:25:44.000 They can behave very irresponsibly.
01:25:47.000 I'm not saying they are right now, but they can if they wanted to behave very irresponsibly.
01:25:51.000 And if they screw up again, we have to bail them out because they are the central nervous system of our financial structure.
01:25:59.000 Yeah, but the crazy thing is that was all warned about a long-ass time ago, the idea of a bank being too big to fail.
01:26:06.000 It's a refuted premise.
01:26:08.000 Nothing's happened about it.
01:26:09.000 Nothing's happened about it.
01:26:11.000 No, nothing.
01:26:11.000 Nothing has happened.
01:26:12.000 It's gotten worse in some ways.
01:26:14.000 And what was my favorite part about it was when they were talking about the bonuses and that Obama was going to limit them to $500,000 because guys were still getting bonuses like millions and millions of dollars.
01:26:25.000 And they're like, well, they have to pay them because if they don't, these guys are going to go work for someone else.
01:26:28.000 And I remember thinking, like, where are they going to work?
01:26:31.000 They're going to work for who?
01:26:32.000 How much money?
01:26:33.000 How could you possibly get a bonus when your bank is folding?
01:26:37.000 Like, what is the bonus for?
01:26:39.000 The answer to that, if you listen to a lot of people, is they go, guess what banks do?
01:26:41.000 They don't live in a capitalist society, first of all.
01:26:43.000 They call Obama a socialist.
01:26:44.000 They're the biggest socialist on the planet.
01:26:46.000 They have socialized their losses and privatized their gains.
01:26:50.000 You lose, don't worry.
01:26:51.000 The government will bail you out.
01:26:52.000 You're too big to fail, buddy.
01:26:53.000 All of them went out there with that.
01:26:54.000 You guys talk about being capitalist.
01:26:56.000 You guys went out there with, well, we failed.
01:26:58.000 Somebody bail us out.
01:26:58.000 But you privatize.
01:27:00.000 You make all the money.
01:27:01.000 You live in a private economy.
01:27:03.000 You talk about the market system and the free market enterprise.
01:27:07.000 Instead of bitching about this, stop for a second. 1.00
01:27:09.000 And what would you do?
01:27:12.000 What would I do?
01:27:12.000 What would you do?
01:27:13.000 You're going to be the king of the world.
01:27:15.000 I'm going to allow you.
01:27:16.000 You have unlimited budget.
01:27:17.000 First thing I would do is this.
01:27:19.000 Campaign finance reform.
01:27:21.000 What does that mean?
01:27:22.000 Take money out of politics.
01:27:23.000 Why in the world?
01:27:25.000 Why in the world?
01:27:26.000 And again, I'm sorry to bring up another book, but don't go to a book.
01:27:29.000 Go to the TED lecture and listen to, it's called Republic Lost by Lawrence Lessig.
01:27:36.000 And basically, here's how it goes.
01:27:38.000 If you're a politician in this country, you are beholden to fundraisers.
01:27:44.000 You spend all your time, 40% of your time, calling people you don't know for money because you're not getting elected otherwise.
01:27:49.000 How do you solve that problem?
01:27:51.000 Take money out of politics.
01:27:52.000 There are ways to do it.
01:27:54.000 I'm not going to sit here and tell you how.
01:27:55.000 There are ways to do it where money doesn't play a big enough role because now we are in an economy of influence.
01:28:01.000 You cannot do business as a private corporation without having a pipeline to Washington. 0.95
01:28:07.000 It takes two hours to get into Washington because 13,000 lobbyists are descending on that capital every fucking day.
01:28:16.000 So as long as you create an economy of influence and you have corporations that are manipulating that massive structure, let's start there. 0.94
01:28:23.000 What do you think is the solution?
01:28:25.000 Do you think the solution is the internet?
01:28:27.000 Well, that's my second thing.
01:28:30.000 There is an America that works.
01:28:32.000 And that America that works is the kind of commerce that is going on on the internet.
01:28:37.000 eBay and all this other stuff.
01:28:39.000 And the government hasn't yet gotten involved.
01:28:41.000 That's still a wild frontier.
01:28:42.000 And guess what?
01:28:43.000 Guess what?
01:28:44.000 You and I, regular people, know how to do it.
01:28:47.000 We don't need a bunch of licenses and government intervention.
01:28:50.000 People, the internet works.
01:28:52.000 It works.
01:28:53.000 Also, you can't have a bunch of things that are going to influence all of us happening behind closed doors.
01:28:59.000 You just can't.
01:28:59.000 Of course not.
01:29:00.000 You're talking about the NSA now.
01:29:02.000 People need to know.
01:29:04.000 If there's environmental issues that are coming up and they're being debated inside some closed door where people are making deals and those decisions that they're making could fuck us all up, that can't happen.
01:29:17.000 No one should have that ability.
01:29:19.000 No one should have that kind of power.
01:29:21.000 Let me add a caveat, though, very quickly to that.
01:29:24.000 There is something called secret deliberation.
01:29:26.000 There's nothing wrong with it.
01:29:27.000 Let me finish with this sentence.
01:29:30.000 If you look at the Supreme Court, when they come to a decision, they retire to a room and it is a secret sort of deliberation.
01:29:39.000 The media is not there because it requires...
01:29:41.000 Lots of sober thought.
01:29:42.000 It requires changing your mind.
01:29:44.000 You can't have people listening and watching the process.
01:29:46.000 Okay, but that's a very different thing.
01:29:48.000 It is because the decision finally is a public decision that we contend with and we know about.
01:29:59.000 Well, not only that, but when someone is in the Supreme Court, theoretically at least, they have the responsibility to adhere to the letter of the law.
01:30:07.000 And anyone influencing that, anyone, That's right.
01:30:22.000 That's right.
01:30:31.000 A corporation can act as an individual and they can donate as much money as they want to a campaign.
01:30:37.000 When you have those kind of decisions being made, you go, oh, they got you.
01:30:41.000 They got to you.
01:30:42.000 If there's widespread spying on its citizenry— Secretly.
01:30:50.000 If they are collecting information from ordinary citizens, I want to know about it.
01:30:55.000 Let's have the debate publicly.
01:30:58.000 Tell me if it's really that important to stop terrorism.
01:31:01.000 Can we have a public debate?
01:31:03.000 I want to know about it.
01:31:04.000 What's going to happen to that Snowden dude?
01:31:06.000 I think he's going to stay in Russia because we don't have an extradition treaty with him.
01:31:10.000 Well, if he was smart, he would stay in Russia.
01:31:12.000 I don't think the dude should come back. 0.99
01:31:14.000 That's for fuck sure. 0.99
01:31:16.000 I don't think he should come back. 0.99
01:31:17.000 I think there should be a debate.
01:31:20.000 I think there should be a debate, a real debate about what the hell is going on with the NSA and how we navigate this problem.
01:31:29.000 But meanwhile, they're trying to not talk about it.
01:31:31.000 Everyone wants to talk about the new royal baby. 1.00
01:31:34.000 Everyone wants to talk about Andrew Weiner ripping his cock out. 1.00
01:31:37.000 I know. 1.00
01:31:37.000 Geraldo Rivera taking his shirt off. 1.00
01:31:39.000 None of it matters, man.
01:31:39.000 Meanwhile, drones are slamming in the huts.
01:31:42.000 Look, Thoreau said, I see man everywhere striking at the branches of evil while none are hitting the root.
01:31:50.000 You've got to know where the root starts, man.
01:31:53.000 So you know where the real enemy is.
01:31:55.000 That's very important before you strike out.
01:31:58.000 You've got to know and that takes some work.
01:32:01.000 You've got to earn that.
01:32:02.000 And that's why I recommend the book Republic Lost or at least go to TED.com and listen to Lawrence Lessig show you why we are losing our republic.
01:32:11.000 He does a very good job about it.
01:32:13.000 People argue with it.
01:32:14.000 Sat next to a guy on a plane who is an editor at Newsweek who said he doesn't know what he's talking about.
01:32:18.000 But I was very convinced and it was very scary.
01:32:21.000 Well I think that the responsibility for running this entire society cannot rest in secret hands anymore.
01:32:28.000 And I think the only way for society to progress the way the culture of human interaction has progressed since the internet, the only way for society to catch up is to take away power.
01:32:40.000 They have to relinquish power.
01:32:42.000 It has to be done.
01:32:43.000 That's the only way you're going to have a culture that is advancing commensurate with the amount of people that are advancing.
01:32:52.000 Because otherwise you're going to have a bunch of people that are trying to control and steal resources and hold on to influence and hold on to power. 0.95
01:33:01.000 And they're going to realize that there's fucking pounding at the gates everywhere. 0.91
01:33:04.000 And they're not going to open up the gates. 0.98
01:33:06.000 They're going to try to bolt them down more.
01:33:08.000 And they're trying to scare people away from the gates.
01:33:10.000 And that's what we're seeing now.
01:33:12.000 What we're seeing now with things like going after these whistleblowers as if they were the most evil people in the world.
01:33:18.000 Meanwhile...
01:33:19.000 We're good to go.
01:33:40.000 Amazing.
01:33:54.000 I mean, they're taking planes out of the sky, royal planes from other countries.
01:33:59.000 It's craziness.
01:34:00.000 And why is it? 0.97
01:34:02.000 Because this guy caught people doing shit that is illegal, immoral, and not wanted by any of the people that voted folks into power. 0.99
01:34:10.000 If you had a vote today, should the NSA be able to look at everyone's email and everyone's fucking cell phone records? 0.99
01:34:16.000 Don't say no. 0.99
01:34:16.000 A hundred percent! 0.99
01:34:18.000 If you didn't say no, you're a bitch. 1.00
01:34:20.000 You're not an American. 1.00
01:34:21.000 You're a fucking cunt, you fascist piece of shit. 1.00
01:34:27.000 Here's the deal about the government. 1.00
01:34:28.000 They're just people.
01:34:30.000 There is no government.
01:34:31.000 There's a bunch of people that act as the government, but the reality of the government is they're just people.
01:34:37.000 And a lot of good people, by the way.
01:34:39.000 Imagine if there's only two government and then you're the only population.
01:34:43.000 There's two people in government and you're the population and they're telling you you can't smoke weed, we're going to lock you in a cage. 1.00
01:34:47.000 You would kill them. 1.00
01:34:48.000 You would say, okay, well I'm living with these people I'm going to have to kill because they're trying to stop me from doing a bunch of shit that doesn't have anything to do with them. 1.00
01:34:56.000 The idea only becomes reasonable when you're governing 300 million people. 1.00
01:35:01.000 Then it's okay to throw them in a cage if you catch them with a trunk full of heroin.
01:35:06.000 But if we were on an island together and it was just you and me and I caught you doing heroin, I'd be like, dude, what are you doing? 0.98
01:35:11.000 I wouldn't build a fucking bamboo cage and dig a hole and throw you in the bottom of it. 0.98
01:35:16.000 The other issue is this. 1.00
01:35:18.000 If you have a government where the people in it Maybe good people, but the only way to get ahead is by acting and behaving corrupt.
01:35:30.000 That's the insidious thing.
01:35:31.000 Let me give you an example of when you go to Capitol Hill and you are a politician and you're making $120,000 a year.
01:35:39.000 You know what you're in?
01:35:41.000 You're in grad school.
01:35:42.000 You know what the big kahuna is?
01:35:44.000 You know what you want to do?
01:35:45.000 You want to work there for six, seven, eight years.
01:35:48.000 And Lawrence Lexic does a good job of showing this.
01:35:50.000 And then you want to go work on K Street and For a lobbying firm making $500,000, $600,000, $700,000 a year.
01:35:58.000 That's the goal.
01:36:00.000 Government has become big business.
01:36:02.000 Government has become a business unto itself.
01:36:05.000 It's just like any other business.
01:36:07.000 It becomes competitive.
01:36:08.000 People want to get ahead.
01:36:10.000 The only way to get ahead is to make progress.
01:36:12.000 The only way to make progress is to move forward.
01:36:13.000 What's it doing right now?
01:36:14.000 I've got to move it further.
01:36:16.000 The only way to make money is not by pulling back.
01:36:18.000 And having less war and less this and less that and less control.
01:36:22.000 No, the way to make money inside this system is to keep it pushing forward.
01:36:25.000 That's right.
01:36:25.000 But I think it's going to lose its power.
01:36:27.000 I don't think it's going to be a revolution.
01:36:30.000 Yeah, as you talk, one of the things I was thinking about is I'm optimistic in the sense that I don't know how you control.
01:36:35.000 You can't control the truth.
01:36:37.000 The internet is...
01:36:37.000 The access to information that people have has never been better in that sense.
01:36:41.000 And we are developing our own autonomy in many ways.
01:36:44.000 Look, you and I have a business that we run primarily through the internet.
01:36:48.000 I mean, you know, developing an audience, doing podcasts, all these kinds of things, going on the road.
01:36:54.000 You can actually start becoming your own entity, your own sort of source of income, your own everything.
01:37:00.000 And that's pretty new.
01:37:02.000 I mean, so much of it is, you know...
01:37:04.000 Owning your own business, branding yourself has never been easier in some ways.
01:37:08.000 Never been easier.
01:37:10.000 I would have never been able to do it before.
01:37:11.000 And I was very fortunate enough to witness many different aspects of the birth of the internet.
01:37:18.000 And one of the things that I got a chance to witness was I was there when the UFC existed only on the internet.
01:37:25.000 The UFC lost its ability to be on cable.
01:37:28.000 They got banned from cable.
01:37:29.000 I remember that.
01:37:29.000 So the only way people knew about it is if you had DirecTV, which wasn't as popular back then as it is now.
01:37:36.000 I mean, we're talking about the 1990s, the early 90s.
01:37:39.000 And other than that, you would hear about it on the internet. 0.97
01:37:43.000 You would go on these forums with your shitty-ass modem, your 56k modem, like chunk-a-chunk, chunk-a-chunk. 0.52
01:37:50.000 As it would slowly move its way down the page until you could download the website. 0.95
01:37:55.000 And that's how I found out almost about all the events and different things that were going on.
01:38:00.000 Like the MixedMartialArts.com. 0.58
01:38:02.000 It used to be, I think it was SubmissionFighting.com and then it was MixedMartialArts.com and then it was MMA.TV and then it's MixedMartialArts.com and it became...
01:38:11.000 What's that noise?
01:38:13.000 Dialing.
01:38:14.000 What is that?
01:38:16.000 Oh, okay.
01:38:16.000 Don't do that.
01:38:17.000 Thanks.
01:38:18.000 Yeah, that sound, I mean, those websites from back then, like, doing that...
01:38:26.000 It was the only way people communicated about information.
01:38:29.000 If it wasn't for that, no one would have any idea that it was even still on anymore. 0.88
01:38:33.000 Once you pull shit off cable, it's like it doesn't exist anymore. 0.88
01:38:36.000 It's gone. 1.00
01:38:37.000 But because of people like, where the fuck did it go? 0.97
01:38:40.000 What's going on? 0.98
01:38:41.000 And so they would get online and these communities sort of developed where people started talking about things online.
01:38:46.000 So I got to see a sport from mixed martial arts literally go from almost dying to being partially revived to taking off.
01:38:56.000 All primarily through the momentum of the internet.
01:38:58.000 Yeah.
01:38:59.000 Incredible.
01:38:59.000 Yeah, this is a totally different world.
01:39:02.000 Being a stand-up comic and being a musician or being, you know, it's...
01:39:04.000 I mean, look at even like TV shows.
01:39:07.000 House of Cars winning all these awards, man.
01:39:09.000 It's strictly internet, you know?
01:39:10.000 Yeah.
01:39:11.000 We're getting everything from...
01:39:12.000 Why wouldn't you?
01:39:13.000 Well, they're bringing...
01:39:14.000 Netflix is bringing back Arrested Development.
01:39:16.000 Yeah, I know.
01:39:17.000 How crazy is that? 1.00
01:39:17.000 People are like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:39:18.000 Why'd they cancel that show? 1.00
01:39:19.000 I was just with Will Arnett in New York.
01:39:21.000 He was doing...
01:39:21.000 He's been doing it.
01:39:22.000 They got him, everybody together, and 10 years later, they're all doing it.
01:39:25.000 There's so many people on Netflix now.
01:39:26.000 And Netflix just announced they're going to start doing stand-up comedy specials.
01:39:29.000 I did my first special on Netflix.
01:39:30.000 You know what?
01:39:31.000 One of my first specials.
01:39:32.000 I'm thinking about it.
01:39:33.000 Why not? 0.98
01:39:34.000 Fucking great. 0.98
01:39:35.000 I still, to this day... 0.98
01:39:36.000 They all watched my first special on Netflix.
01:39:38.000 Why wouldn't they watch...
01:39:39.000 Why not just go right to Netflix and do it?
01:39:40.000 To this day, I get tweets about my 2005 special from Netflix.
01:39:45.000 That was the one, the beginning, the whole eat the sandwich thing.
01:39:48.000 About society and human beings are sort of like mold on a sandwich that I think we might be here to eat the sandwich.
01:39:55.000 You know, it's the horrifying revelation.
01:40:00.000 There's a recent article about the Pacific Garbage Patch, about the new measurements of the Pacific Garbage Patch.
01:40:07.000 How big is it?
01:40:08.000 It's closing in on California.
01:40:11.000 It's getting closer to us.
01:40:14.000 If you haven't paid attention to this, this is something we haven't talked about on the podcast in a long time, but Google Pacific Garbage Patch.
01:40:20.000 It's essentially like there's a tide, there's a current. 0.99
01:40:24.000 The way the oceans move, the way the currents move, it developed this sort of area where all the shit that's floating in the ocean coalesced and combined into this enormous soup of fucking rotting plastic. 1.00
01:40:39.000 Wow. 1.00
01:40:39.000 Slowly degrading plastic that kills millions of animals a year. 1.00
01:40:45.000 It kills millions.
01:40:47.000 Can't we go in there with scoopers? 0.97
01:40:48.000 It's like Texas-sized.
01:40:50.000 It's so big, it's insane.
01:40:52.000 And it's not like a solid thing.
01:40:54.000 It's like soup.
01:40:56.000 Yeah, it's little pieces. 0.99
01:40:57.000 Yeah, and in the sun and in the ocean, the salt water and the surf and everything like that, It slowly breaks down until it's like floating pellets of shit. 0.98
01:41:06.000 Yeah, and what's it? 0.97
01:41:08.000 Fish and everything eats it.
01:41:09.000 They eat it and they die.
01:41:10.000 Fish, birds, they eat it and they die.
01:41:13.000 Just millions of them.
01:41:14.000 And the whole thing is enormous.
01:41:17.000 And no one's cleaning it, and it's getting bigger.
01:41:20.000 It's constantly getting bigger.
01:41:22.000 I have to believe that through technology, 3D printing and stuff like that, we're going to have less waste, less transport, right?
01:41:27.000 I mean, I don't know.
01:41:28.000 That's an interesting possibility.
01:41:30.000 I think the ultimate reality, which would be the best, is if we develop something that can eat plastic and somehow you can control it.
01:41:39.000 Well, they have those kinds of things, but it's a question of, yeah.
01:41:42.000 But it's also, look, what happens once it gets done eating plastic?
01:41:45.000 Well, hmm, I like people too.
01:41:47.000 There's no more plastic?
01:41:48.000 Let's start eating feet.
01:41:49.000 There are bacteria that we do use, I guess enzymes and bacteria that actually do that now, but whether or not it's biocompatible, those are the questions at the March of Science.
01:42:00.000 Well, there's been some thought about doing various things to clean up the ocean, and one of the things is actually introducing certain algaes.
01:42:08.000 And introducing iron, taking metal and creating metal structures and putting these metal structures in the bottom of the ocean that would attract various types of algae.
01:42:18.000 And that various types of algae, those would re-oxygenate through their use of whatever the fuck they need in the ocean and actually clean up some of the water. 0.75
01:42:30.000 Sometimes I feel like all these problems are put there for a reason that anything is surmountable. 0.90
01:42:34.000 Oh, you're so cute.
01:42:35.000 I know.
01:42:36.000 Anything is survival.
01:42:37.000 It's all for a reason.
01:42:38.000 No, no, just anything is solvable.
01:42:40.000 Everything that happens, happens for a reason.
01:42:43.000 Yeah, well that stuff is all annoying.
01:42:45.000 It's annoying, but then it's not, right?
01:42:47.000 Well...
01:42:47.000 Because I'm with you.
01:42:48.000 I believe it.
01:42:49.000 I know what you're saying.
01:42:49.000 I believe it's a...
01:42:50.000 I mean, anything, any challenge...
01:42:52.000 Human beings do incredible things, man.
01:42:54.000 Yeah, there's no doubt.
01:42:55.000 And human beings come up with...
01:42:56.000 Do you ever hear the story about Morse, the guy who created Morse Code?
01:42:59.000 Like, that was the most revolutionary.
01:43:01.000 It was the turning point in history.
01:43:02.000 Right.
01:43:03.000 Morse, Morse, because if you think about it, Alexander the Great...
01:43:06.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:43:07.000 In 19—it was 1820 when it was invented, I think, when the first time they actually—I think it was 1819, when the first time they actually had a 10-mile stretch of wire, and the guy was able to send a message.
01:43:19.000 And before that—think about this—before that, the guy before 18-whatever, 1815, he had to send a message the same exact way Alexander the Great did— Either on horseback, either on foot, or either by boat.
01:43:36.000 And when Morse Code came out, and Morse was a guy who was a really, really successful painter.
01:43:42.000 And he had nothing to do with electromagnetic fields or anything.
01:43:45.000 He was a really successful painter.
01:43:47.000 His wife, he gets a letter that his wife is very sick.
01:43:50.000 He loved his wife in Connecticut.
01:43:52.000 By the time he gets there, she's not only dead, she's been buried.
01:43:55.000 And he said, there's got to be a way I can get information faster because it killed him.
01:43:59.000 It was this tragedy.
01:44:00.000 Seven years later, he's on a boat.
01:44:01.000 He meets this electromagnetic engineer.
01:44:04.000 He starts talking to him.
01:44:06.000 He gets fascinated with the idea that maybe I can come up with a way to use electromagnetic fields to send a message.
01:44:14.000 About 10 years after that, he invented something called Morse code, this painter, because he was so heartbroken over his wife.
01:44:23.000 And the world has never been the same.
01:44:26.000 That was a bigger communication leap, actually, than the internet, because it was the first time we were able to send instantaneous messages.
01:44:33.000 And I think five years later, we finally had a wire from New York to New Orleans, which was so much faster, and you could get instantaneous communication.
01:44:41.000 The world was never the same.
01:44:43.000 And of course we built on that.
01:44:44.000 But the history is so full of individuals that were trying to solve a problem that seemed insurmountable.
01:44:50.000 And oftentimes it was because they basically, like Alexander Fleming, had a cold.
01:44:58.000 His snot fell into...
01:45:00.000 He had all these Petri dishes working on different spores and stuff.
01:45:03.000 And he decided to clean stuff out himself.
01:45:06.000 He never used to clean his own Petri dishes.
01:45:08.000 He had a cold.
01:45:09.000 His snot fell into one of the moldy dishes.
01:45:11.000 And he realized that the bacteria under the microscope, the mold had killed all the bacteria.
01:45:16.000 And he went, wait a minute.
01:45:18.000 That's how he invented a little something called penicillin, which then became antibiotics, which is why people are alive.
01:45:24.000 It's crazy.
01:45:24.000 So many of these things either happened through accident with individuals or people were trying to solve a problem.
01:45:31.000 Yeah, that's one of the things about life is that you need struggle.
01:45:37.000 It seems like you shouldn't have it, but you need it. 0.97
01:45:39.000 And one of the worst things that can happen is when people don't struggle anymore, and then they start to suck.
01:45:45.000 And they used to be awesome.
01:45:46.000 You see it with musicians time and time again.
01:45:49.000 You see it with certain comedians.
01:45:51.000 You see it with certain writers.
01:45:53.000 You see it with certain actors. 0.99
01:45:55.000 They lose whatever the fuck it was that they had when they were struggling. 0.99
01:46:00.000 When they were struggling and they had to show up. 0.99
01:46:04.000 Sometimes it's good to be criticized.
01:46:08.000 Sometimes it's good to fail.
01:46:09.000 Because that fail can be like a turbocharger that kicks you into the next space.
01:46:15.000 A wolf at the door is usually luxury.
01:46:17.000 Some of my biggest leaps in my comedy career have come after bombing.
01:46:22.000 Me too.
01:46:22.000 My biggest leaps, one of my biggest ones ever in New York came after bombing.
01:46:28.000 One of my biggest ones in Boston came after bombing.
01:46:31.000 I've had them in LA that came after bombing.
01:46:34.000 One of the reasons why I just, I dove back into comedy. 0.99
01:46:38.000 I bombed one night at the comedy store when I was doing news radio and a bunch of the writers came to watch me and I ate dick. 0.99
01:46:44.000 I ate dick at 1am. 1.00
01:46:45.000 That's terrible. 0.99
01:46:46.000 It was the main room at 1am.
01:46:47.000 You've been there?
01:46:48.000 Sure.
01:46:48.000 That's the spots that I used to get back then.
01:46:50.000 I was a nobody. 0.96
01:46:52.000 So I was going to get these spots after everybody had ripped that place sideways, and there was 20 people left, and then I went on to this dead crowd with my shitty dry jokes. 0.95
01:47:00.000 20 alcoholics, some who don't speak English, just stirring their drinks. 0.90
01:47:04.000 Oh, I've been there.
01:47:06.000 It was death.
01:47:06.000 And then I realized, oh my god, I'm coasting.
01:47:09.000 I realized I went up there, I thought I could do the same jokes I've been doing for years with no passion and no energy and no excitement to them.
01:47:17.000 And I felt it while other people took it in because the room wasn't giving me nothing.
01:47:21.000 I had to bring it myself.
01:47:23.000 And you can bring it if you're good.
01:47:24.000 You can bring it if you actually have it.
01:47:26.000 But that's when you find out if you're faking it, when there's 10 people in the crowd. 0.99
01:47:30.000 Anything less than 50 people, you can't trick those fucking people into laughing. 0.99
01:47:34.000 You're either funny or you're not. 0.99
01:47:36.000 But a 200 person, you can sometimes...
01:47:38.000 We all know, and no disrespect, but we all know those people that can go on at the Laugh Factory at like 8.30 on a Friday when everyone's laughing and everything, and you can watch this...
01:47:51.000 Bizarre mayonnaise sandwich of an act where you're like, what did I even just say?
01:47:57.000 But yet the pauses are in the right place and people are laughing and the person's dressed right and they don't stay too long.
01:48:06.000 You do like 10-15 minutes and good enough.
01:48:09.000 You hit on enough buzzwords that people like, oh, you brought up some things that people think is funny like Kanye West or whatever.
01:48:17.000 It's enough.
01:48:18.000 You did it.
01:48:18.000 You were safe.
01:48:19.000 You got through it.
01:48:20.000 But that same person, put them on the comedy store at 1am in front of 20 people and they will get nothing.
01:48:29.000 Zero.
01:48:30.000 It's the death march. 1.00
01:48:32.000 Those shitty dry words tumbling out of your mouth like dirt. 1.00
01:48:37.000 Like literally dirt coming out of your mouth. 1.00
01:48:39.000 Yeah.
01:48:42.000 Well, you know, they always say, why was Louis Armstrong so great and some of those black musicians who were doing incredible things with a horn?
01:48:50.000 And there was this historian, I can't remember his name, who said, well, when you were black back then, you weren't allowed to speak your mind. 0.85
01:48:55.000 You expressed yourself through your horn, man. 0.84
01:48:58.000 And he was trying to say something.
01:49:01.000 He was really trying to say something through that horn, yeah.
01:49:03.000 So it really is a question of what your motivation is and how important inspiration and motivation is to keep yourself going, man.
01:49:10.000 Yeah, you have to have something, man.
01:49:13.000 You gotta be uneasy.
01:49:14.000 I keep myself uneasy.
01:49:17.000 I don't do it because I'm better than other people.
01:49:20.000 I don't do it because I'm smarter.
01:49:22.000 I do it because I failed.
01:49:24.000 And I realize why I failed.
01:49:26.000 I realize what made me fail.
01:49:28.000 And then I don't do it that way anymore.
01:49:30.000 It's really that simple.
01:49:32.000 I'm not better than anybody. 1.00
01:49:34.000 What I am is a guy who did a lot of shit and failed. 0.99
01:49:38.000 Miserably a bunch of times and then hated that feeling and made sure that I didn't do that again. 0.99
01:49:44.000 So the only reason why I keep myself uncomfortable now is out of sheer terror.
01:49:49.000 The feeling that I had before when I've bombed or when I've half-assed something or when I haven't I haven't pushed as hard as I can.
01:50:00.000 I'm also driven.
01:50:01.000 I want to see what I have inside me.
01:50:03.000 I'm curious.
01:50:04.000 I'm also really driven by curiosity for myself.
01:50:06.000 That's an ego thing, isn't it?
01:50:07.000 I don't know.
01:50:08.000 I don't think so.
01:50:08.000 The idea of seeing what's inside you?
01:50:10.000 No, I don't think it's an ego thing.
01:50:11.000 I think for me it's like, what's inside me?
01:50:15.000 My buddy, my buddy I was just with, I went to visit in Europe.
01:50:20.000 He's made about a billion dollars, went to college with him.
01:50:23.000 And I'm not kidding when I say that.
01:50:24.000 He's got the craziest house.
01:50:25.000 And I said, what drives you, man?
01:50:26.000 I said, you own the two fastest growing banks in Europe.
01:50:29.000 You've got crazy money.
01:50:30.000 The staff were flying around in your private jet.
01:50:32.000 What is it that drives you?
01:50:33.000 And he said, he looked at me and he goes, look man, I like building things because I'm never sure if I can really do it.
01:50:39.000 It's just always a rush to be able to try to build something and see if I still have it.
01:50:44.000 See if I can still do it.
01:50:47.000 See if it's a new challenge and just try it.
01:50:49.000 And it has nothing to do with the money.
01:50:50.000 That's just, he's made more than anybody could ever spend.
01:50:54.000 Yeah, well that's when it becomes like a weird game that you're playing.
01:50:56.000 That's what it is. 0.99
01:50:57.000 Like for Bill Gates, at a certain time, Bill Gates had to realize that he could never spend all that shit. 0.99
01:51:02.000 Oh yeah. 0.97
01:51:02.000 If you really do get to keep it, like I'm not sure what happens when you have $98 billion when it goes up $50 billion and then down. 0.97
01:51:10.000 When the market shifts, like that's the weirdest thing about those guys when you look at like their net worth.
01:51:15.000 Yeah.
01:51:15.000 And then like it used to be $90 million or $90 billion, now it's $40 billion.
01:51:19.000 You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
01:51:20.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:51:21.000 Where the fuck did that go? 0.99
01:51:22.000 What happened there? 1.00
01:51:23.000 You lost 50...
01:51:25.000 Wait a minute.
01:51:26.000 What are you even saying?
01:51:27.000 But at a certain point in time, if he stopped now, how much money would he have every year just to spend?
01:51:35.000 It would be an insane amount of money.
01:51:37.000 He's done.
01:51:38.000 There's that thing about Bill Gates 10 years ago when they said if he dropped $40,000 out of his pocket, it wouldn't be worth him turning around to get it because his time is worth much more than the time it would take.
01:51:48.000 To actually turn around and pick up the $40,000.
01:51:50.000 It would be financially prudent for him to keep walking.
01:51:54.000 That hurts my brain.
01:51:56.000 I love that stuff.
01:51:58.000 No, no, no, you dropped $40,000, whatever it was, or something crazy like that.
01:52:02.000 I was looking online at houses that rich people own, like Oprah-style houses, and Oprah has houses everywhere.
01:52:12.000 But she's got this house in Montecito, which is the nice area outside of Santa Barbara, like really old-school, beautiful homes, really beautiful, beautiful neighborhood near the ocean.
01:52:23.000 And her house, it's like, how do you have enough money for this is one of your houses?
01:52:27.000 It doesn't even make any sense that one person can accumulate that much money.
01:52:31.000 And then when you stop and look at it and go, wait a minute, how did she do that?
01:52:34.000 She's just talking. 1.00
01:52:35.000 Oprah doesn't do shit. 1.00
01:52:37.000 She's not juggling. 1.00
01:52:38.000 She doesn't play guitar.
01:52:39.000 She doesn't play guitar.
01:52:42.000 She's not the fastest race car driver. 1.00
01:52:45.000 She doesn't pole vault. 0.98
01:52:46.000 All she does is talk and go, we'll be right back. 1.00
01:52:50.000 And like... 0.99
01:52:51.000 She's got a hundred fucking kazillion dollars. 1.00
01:52:54.000 Because she was a source of major inspiration for millions of women. 1.00
01:52:58.000 It's insane to look at her house.
01:52:59.000 Is it crazy?
01:53:01.000 Oh my god.
01:53:01.000 It's insane.
01:53:02.000 It's incredible.
01:53:03.000 Well, I remember when I was doing Fat Actress and she was redoing Kirstie Alley's Kitchen.
01:53:09.000 And the kitchen...
01:53:09.000 Oprah was doing it?
01:53:10.000 Uh-huh.
01:53:11.000 Why was she doing that? 1.00
01:53:12.000 I don't know.
01:53:12.000 Something that she decided to do, redo Kirstie Alley's kitchen that was going to be on the program, you know, that they showed it on at Oprah.
01:53:18.000 Oh, I see.
01:53:19.000 And I was there while they were renovating it.
01:53:20.000 I believe that...
01:53:21.000 I'm sorry, Kirstie, if I'm talking out of line, but I think it cost $700,000 just to redo the kitchen, dude.
01:53:27.000 $700,000 to redo the kitchen. 0.99
01:53:29.000 What kind of fucking kitchen was it? 0.99
01:53:31.000 What are you talking... 1.00
01:53:32.000 I don't know, just big.
01:53:34.000 Not worth $700,000 to me, but it was all detailed with incredible mosaic and all that stuff. 0.95
01:53:38.000 Well, you gotta think that she's, like, really big, and she probably eats a lot of food, and so you need a lot of refrigerators and shit. 0.90
01:53:46.000 As far as, like, hot chicks that got gigantic, she's numero uno. 1.00
01:53:50.000 There's never been, like, a super hot chick who got gigantic and then stayed arrogant. 1.00
01:53:55.000 She's very extreme. 0.98
01:53:57.000 Yeah, like, stayed out there, stayed bold, you know, out there, you know, would talk about losing the weight, and then lose weight, you know, drop 100 pounds, you know, do a fucking weight loss commercial. 0.99
01:54:07.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:54:08.000 She went cold on me.
01:54:09.000 We hung out.
01:54:10.000 I loved her kids.
01:54:11.000 And we did that show.
01:54:12.000 And then she just never called me back.
01:54:14.000 I was like...
01:54:14.000 What happened?
01:54:15.000 After you did the show, you stopped being friends?
01:54:16.000 No, even during.
01:54:17.000 While we were doing Fat Actress, something happened where she... 1.00
01:54:21.000 Did you fuck her? 1.00
01:54:21.000 No, no. 1.00
01:54:22.000 How dare you?
01:54:23.000 No, but she just went cold on me. 1.00
01:54:25.000 I never understood it.
01:54:26.000 She just went dead cold on me. 1.00
01:54:30.000 Is she a Scientologist?
01:54:31.000 Never even looked at me.
01:54:32.000 Yeah, she was a Scientologist.
01:54:33.000 I'm reading Going Clear now on your recommendation.
01:54:35.000 Great book.
01:54:35.000 Great book.
01:54:35.000 Yeah.
01:54:36.000 Woo! 0.99
01:54:38.000 Just you wait, bro.
01:54:39.000 Yeah, I'm about 50 pages in.
01:54:40.000 I just started it.
01:54:41.000 Oh, please continue.
01:54:43.000 It's absolutely fascinating.
01:54:45.000 He also wrote a great book, Lawrence Wright, about the Looming Tower, which I also read about the rise of Islamic fundamentalism culminating in 9-11.
01:54:55.000 Fascinating.
01:54:55.000 You have to read that next.
01:54:57.000 You have to.
01:54:57.000 You just have to.
01:54:58.000 I would love to. 0.94
01:55:00.000 Any religious fundamentalism scares the shit out of me. 0.98
01:55:04.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:55:04.000 It's a prisoner. 0.99
01:55:06.000 Scientology is a religious fundamentalism and that's what's fascinating about his book.
01:55:10.000 Religious fundamentalism has nothing to do with the truth. 0.99
01:55:13.000 It has nothing to do with some ancient shit that God told people. 0.96
01:55:16.000 It has to do with another possibility of the human existence. 0.99
01:55:20.000 Just like we were talking about a car that a car has a bunch of shit it can do. 0.99
01:55:23.000 It can hit the brakes. 0.99
01:55:24.000 You can corner at 1G. You can accelerate to 60 in 5 seconds.
01:55:29.000 It has all these things that it can do.
01:55:30.000 Well, it can also fall into a cult.
01:55:32.000 That's what a person can do. 1.00
01:55:34.000 All the shit that a person can do. 1.00
01:55:35.000 A person can make coffee. 1.00
01:55:36.000 A person can use a computer.
01:55:38.000 A person can have sex and make a baby. 0.93
01:55:41.000 Oh, they can also fall into a cult.
01:55:44.000 We were in Utah filming my show last week, Duncan and I, and we showed up at the airport and it was one of the strangest things I've Been there many times.
01:55:54.000 They had these people that were returning from missions, and they were elders.
01:56:00.000 They called them elders in the church.
01:56:01.000 And they had all the people there with signs, right?
01:56:03.000 Screaming like they're rock stars.
01:56:07.000 I mean, high-pitched cheers and screaming with these giant signs that say, Welcome home, Elder Richardson.
01:56:16.000 Welcome home, Elder White.
01:56:18.000 Yeah.
01:56:18.000 My parents live in Park City, so I see them.
01:56:20.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:56:20.000 That's where we went.
01:56:21.000 We went to Park City.
01:56:23.000 We ate at Park City, and then we did our thing, which was about two hours outside of that, which is God's country, man. 0.98
01:56:30.000 Just fucking beautiful. 0.84
01:56:32.000 And Park City, I'd only been there in the winter. 0.99
01:56:34.000 My parents have a great house.
01:56:35.000 We went skiing there once in the winter and it was beautiful.
01:56:37.000 But then we went there in the summer and they told me what's even better than skiing is you take the lifts.
01:56:42.000 The lifts operate all year round.
01:56:44.000 You take the lifts and you take a mountain bike down those hills.
01:56:47.000 Those perfect ski hills.
01:56:48.000 They say it's insane because you got brakes now. 0.99
01:56:51.000 So you can go fucking driving a bike down those hills. 0.98
01:56:56.000 It's supposed to be amazing. 0.99
01:56:57.000 You don't have to drive up.
01:56:58.000 You take the lift back up.
01:57:00.000 Have you done it with a dirt bike?
01:57:02.000 A mountain bike?
01:57:03.000 Not a mountain bike.
01:57:03.000 It's supposed to be amazing.
01:57:05.000 It's supposed to be even more fun than skiing, which sounds crazy. 0.77
01:57:07.000 But the area there, it's so goddamn gorgeous, man.
01:57:13.000 I've been hiking up there. 0.59
01:57:14.000 It's so gorgeous.
01:57:15.000 I leave my parents' house and just go hiking, and I do it alone.
01:57:18.000 It's incredible. 0.99
01:57:19.000 It almost doesn't bother me that all these fucking people are crazy religious there. 1.00
01:57:23.000 Well, Park City, there aren't a lot of Mormons. 1.00
01:57:25.000 No, they're not.
01:57:26.000 It's Salt Lake.
01:57:27.000 But you gotta land in Salt Lake.
01:57:28.000 But they're nice people!
01:57:30.000 I was gonna say, they're very nice people.
01:57:32.000 They're nice!
01:57:32.000 They keep a very clean state.
01:57:34.000 I got no problem with Mormons. 1.00
01:57:35.000 I never got beat up by a Mormon. 0.96
01:57:37.000 Listen, I have some friends that were Mormons.
01:57:39.000 We were friends with them when they were Mormons and they eventually bailed.
01:57:42.000 It's really kind of interesting to watch them bail on being a Mormon. 0.99
01:57:45.000 Because they got to a certain point in their life where they're like, what the fuck are we doing? 0.97
01:57:51.000 Which is really interesting to see when people hit like 40 and then they start doing that. 0.96
01:57:55.000 But these people living in this state, and a giant percentage of them being involved in this one cult, but that cult seems to work for them, for the most part.
01:58:06.000 They get those weird aberrations, like they branch off occasionally and have that one guy that got arrested.
01:58:12.000 What was his name?
01:58:13.000 Jeff something or another?
01:58:15.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
01:58:16.000 What the fuck was that guy's name? 0.99
01:58:18.000 The Mormon church, I believe, outlawed polygamy like in the 1800s. 0.99
01:58:27.000 And then there was a sect that split off. 1.00
01:58:29.000 A bunch of guys who were perverts who were like, bullshit. 1.00
01:58:32.000 Which I sympathize with. 1.00
01:58:33.000 Jeffries, right?
01:58:34.000 Yes, yes, yes.
01:58:35.000 And he went to jail for a long time.
01:58:37.000 Yeah, well, what's even more interesting is that one of those groups that branched off because they didn't want to give up the polygamy...
01:58:44.000 Was the guy who was running for president, Mitt Romney's family.
01:58:49.000 Really?
01:58:50.000 Mitt Romney is a super Mormon. 0.75
01:58:53.000 In fact, his family lives in Mexico.
01:58:56.000 His father couldn't run for president because his father was born in Mexico.
01:59:02.000 Really? 1.00
01:59:03.000 So Mitt Romney was born in America, but his dad was a part of the cult that moved to Mexico because they didn't want to give up the pussy. 1.00
01:59:11.000 So they have these... 1.00
01:59:12.000 It used to be...
01:59:13.000 I might just vote for Mitt Romney next time.
01:59:15.000 Back before there were cars, it didn't matter if you were in Mexico.
01:59:18.000 It's like, you're in Mexico, you're in the United States.
01:59:20.000 In the 1800s, it was like, they were like, well, if you want to be an American, you cannot have multiple wives.
01:59:28.000 They're like, oh, but I can have multiple wives and I just cross that river? 0.99
01:59:31.000 Take care.
01:59:32.000 See you later.
01:59:33.000 Ta-ta for now.
01:59:33.000 And then all of a sudden, you're over there, and then someone invents something called cars.
01:59:37.000 Well, the whole world changes, because now people are moving back and forth, and it's real easy to do so. 0.85
01:59:42.000 And then you realize, oh shit, there's a wall between me and the most prosperous area, and it's right over there. 0.92
01:59:47.000 And then the area around you becomes filled with people that are involved in something called the drug war. 1.00
01:59:52.000 And now you're fucked. 0.99
01:59:53.000 So now his family that lives in Mexico, they're armed to the teeth. 1.00
01:59:58.000 Really?
01:59:58.000 They live in giant compounds.
02:00:00.000 Where'd you see all this?
02:00:01.000 This is all Vice.
02:00:01.000 Vice.com, man.
02:00:02.000 Wow.
02:00:03.000 My friend Shane Smith told me about this.
02:00:04.000 This is the first time I heard about it.
02:00:05.000 And then there's multiple articles confirming this.
02:00:10.000 Vice is a very interesting phenomenon.
02:00:12.000 They're badass.
02:00:12.000 Yeah.
02:00:12.000 And it's not like this is speculation theory.
02:00:16.000 No, this is real.
02:00:16.000 I mean, people have gone there.
02:00:17.000 Vice goes in there and they look at it, yeah.
02:00:18.000 Not just vice.
02:00:19.000 Many, many, many, many, many people have documented these Mormon cults in Mexico.
02:00:25.000 And there's some serious conflict with the drug lords in Mexico.
02:00:29.000 They kidnap them.
02:00:30.000 Because kidnapping is a huge source of income in Mexico City and a lot of places as far as crime.
02:00:35.000 Kidnapping people is a big deal to the point where they tell you don't drive around in a bulletproof car.
02:00:40.000 But bulletproof cars specifically because they target those.
02:00:44.000 Because they figure you have money.
02:00:45.000 Yes.
02:00:45.000 Because, oh, what's in there?
02:00:47.000 Some money?
02:00:47.000 What's in there?
02:00:48.000 Are you hiding something?
02:00:49.000 Is there a jewel of a person in there that I can sell?
02:00:52.000 And so they were doing that with the families, like these cults that were living in these giant compounds.
02:00:59.000 There's like several families that moved to Mexico.
02:01:02.000 And Mitt Romney's family was a part of that.
02:01:04.000 I'd get out of there.
02:01:06.000 Yeah, you think?
02:01:07.000 Yeah.
02:01:08.000 Yeah.
02:01:08.000 One of the weirdest aspects of society in the year 2013 is that we are connected to one of the most dangerous areas in the world.
02:01:17.000 Juarez, Mexico is one of the most dangerous spots to be a human being and live in the world.
02:01:23.000 More dangerous, in fact, than Iraq was. 1.00
02:01:25.000 Well, I think that's where the Zetas came out of.
02:01:27.000 And I think they've been kind of brought under control.
02:01:33.000 I don't know.
02:01:34.000 The issue is that the economy of Mexico and the The power structure, the entrenched power structure itself relies on the drug economy.
02:01:46.000 And the corruption is just completely out of control.
02:01:49.000 I mean, the cops...
02:01:50.000 And by the way, their neighbors, the United States, are the biggest consumers of that product.
02:01:54.000 So, you know, as long as there is a demand, they're going to supply it.
02:02:00.000 But don't legalize it.
02:02:02.000 Don't legalize it. 1.00
02:02:03.000 We've got 52,000 body bags and counting, I think, in Mexico since this shit happened. 0.99
02:02:08.000 You know, Mexico has silently decriminalized drugs. 0.99
02:02:11.000 Well, I don't blame them, and I'll tell you why, because they've been the ones bearing the brunt with real tragedy in their bodies and their children and their neighborhoods.
02:02:21.000 They're the ones who've been dealing with this.
02:02:23.000 We've been the ones consuming it.
02:02:25.000 And it's got, you know, so I, again, yet again, you know, if people want to do something, they're going to do it.
02:02:31.000 Stop trying to control people's behavior.
02:02:33.000 Yeah, they decriminalized everything in 2009 to try to slow everything down.
02:02:37.000 It's very rarely talked about.
02:02:39.000 I didn't know that, actually.
02:02:41.000 I'm interested in hearing that.
02:02:43.000 But I heard a little of it.
02:02:45.000 Well, when people talk about decriminalization, the example they always give is Portugal.
02:02:50.000 Because Portugal did essentially the same thing.
02:02:52.000 They made all drugs legal.
02:02:53.000 They decriminalized everything.
02:02:54.000 You can't sell them, but you can possess them.
02:02:56.000 If you get caught, they give you treatment.
02:02:57.000 No one goes to jail. 1.00
02:02:58.000 Well, when Portugal did that, their fucking rates of addiction dropped. 0.99
02:03:02.000 Their rates of crime dropped. 0.99
02:03:03.000 But let me ask you this.
02:03:05.000 And you know more about it than I do.
02:03:08.000 Weed, for all intents and purposes, in Colorado, for example, is legal.
02:03:11.000 But that's the state.
02:03:13.000 That's a statutory law.
02:03:14.000 It is still not a federal law.
02:03:16.000 So the Fed can come in and actually technically close those repositories down and all that, right?
02:03:23.000 Yes.
02:03:23.000 Not only that, even the medical, like the idea of medical marijuana, the federal government does not recognize the fact that it's even a medicine.
02:03:33.000 So, the federal government, the reason why marijuana is a Schedule I substance is not because it's the most dangerous, because it was based on proof that it would be impossible to put marijuana in Schedule I. But they can put marijuana in Schedule I because Schedule I means it has no medicinal value that's That's recognized by the state,
02:03:51.000 by the federal government.
02:03:52.000 So because of the fact they put it in a Schedule 1, then it refutes all the medical marijuana clinics.
02:03:59.000 Because you can have medical cocaine, you can have medical...
02:04:02.000 There's applications for opiates, like pills.
02:04:05.000 Those are all legal.
02:04:06.000 So you can sell those.
02:04:07.000 Like Novocaine is actually a cocaine derivative.
02:04:08.000 Lidocaine, yes.
02:04:09.000 Lidocaine, yeah.
02:04:09.000 And how about opiates?
02:04:13.000 Morphine?
02:04:14.000 Yeah, and Oxycontins, all that stuff.
02:04:16.000 Those are pills.
02:04:17.000 You can buy those.
02:04:18.000 You can ask your doctor for Vicodins and they will give them to you if you're in pain.
02:04:21.000 Those are drugs, okay?
02:04:24.000 But the federal government can't stop your doctor from prescribing those because they're scheduled to.
02:04:29.000 So cocaine and heroin are both scheduled to drugs because they have medical applications, whereas they try to pretend that marijuana doesn't.
02:04:40.000 And that way, they can stop medical marijuana from starting, because it's a plant as opposed to a medicine.
02:04:47.000 But they've proved that for glaucoma and things, it helps.
02:04:48.000 Doesn't matter.
02:04:49.000 Doesn't matter.
02:04:50.000 They've proved it till the cows come home.
02:04:51.000 It's not based on logic, reason, or something being fair and ethical.
02:04:57.000 It's based entirely on money.
02:05:00.000 Entirely on money.
02:05:01.000 And that's an argument.
02:05:03.000 So there's more money in enforcing marijuana laws, keeping people in jail, than there is in...
02:05:08.000 I'll do you want it better.
02:05:09.000 There's an economy based on enforcing marijuana laws. 0.97
02:05:12.000 If marijuana is responsible, and this is a true fact, is responsible for a large percentage of people that are in federal prison.
02:05:21.000 A large percentage.
02:05:22.000 More than 20% of all the people that are in prison are in there because of marijuana or it's growing it or selling it or whatever.
02:05:28.000 If that's the case...
02:05:30.000 I think?
02:05:48.000 Campaign and use their money and their finances to lobby heavily to make sure that marijuana laws stay in place.
02:05:58.000 Once again, an example of how Washington has become an economy of influence.
02:06:03.000 Once again, why you got to know how the system works and the injustices it creates.
02:06:09.000 When a special interest group can affect other people's lives because there's an economic advantage in it, even if it's in a Yeah, I don't think anybody has an argument with it.
02:06:20.000 The argument with you, rather.
02:06:21.000 The argument is, or the question, rather, becomes, how do you stop that from happening?
02:06:26.000 Take money out of politics.
02:06:27.000 There are ways to do it.
02:06:30.000 There are ways to do it.
02:06:31.000 It's not easy.
02:06:32.000 It's like taking that plastic out of the bin of the ocean.
02:06:34.000 It's essentially the same problem.
02:06:35.000 Lawrence Lessig has ideas.
02:06:37.000 Who the hell is that guy? 0.99
02:06:38.000 How can they kill him? 0.99
02:06:39.000 His Mercedes is going to go right into a tree at 100 miles an hour like Michael Hastings, not hitting the brakes.
02:06:45.000 Right.
02:06:45.000 Do you know about that?
02:06:46.000 No.
02:06:47.000 You don't know about that?
02:06:48.000 No.
02:06:48.000 You don't know about Michael Hastings?
02:06:49.000 No.
02:06:50.000 Wow.
02:06:51.000 You're a weird guy, man. 1.00
02:06:52.000 You know about some strange shit, but you don't know about some things. 1.00
02:06:55.000 Sometimes things are in the public consciousness that you're completely blissfully unaware of. 0.99
02:07:00.000 The Michael Hastings conspiracy is, he's a journalist for the Rolling Stone, 33 years old, cocky, fuck, getting people's faces on television about generals and stuff, about what they're doing, and you guys are doing this and that. 0.99
02:07:13.000 Exposes a bunch of shit, gets people in trouble. 0.99
02:07:15.000 He's doing an article about the CIA. His car drives into a tree. 1.00
02:07:21.000 This is after he told everybody the FBI is investigating him and his family and if anybody gets contacted by the FBI, just get a lawyer.
02:07:29.000 He's saying all this stuff publicly.
02:07:32.000 His car goes 100 miles an hour without ever hitting the brakes right into a tree.
02:07:37.000 He bursts into flames and dies.
02:07:39.000 Doesn't hit the brakes.
02:07:41.000 It's 4 o'clock in the morning.
02:07:42.000 Drives straight into a tree.
02:07:44.000 They take his body, cremate it against the wishes of his family.
02:07:48.000 Then the former security advisor, I think it was a security advisor to Clinton and Herbert Walker Bush, he comes out and says that it's possible that To take over a car, a modern car today.
02:08:05.000 Including manipulate the steering, the brakes.
02:08:07.000 Because it's a computer.
02:08:08.000 Yes, yes.
02:08:09.000 So he says you can turn your car into a drone.
02:08:12.000 Jesus!
02:08:12.000 And remote control a car.
02:08:14.000 Jesus! 0.99
02:08:14.000 And suicide someone with it. 0.99
02:08:15.000 And so this guy, who is spending all of his time and all of his effort, very high profile, trying to take out the people in the world that are the best at killing people. 0.52
02:08:34.000 Jesus Christ.
02:08:43.000 I've had some people that were...
02:08:46.000 They're very serious folks, okay? 0.99
02:08:49.000 And they've sent me messages just saying, okay, what the fuck is this? 0.99
02:08:53.000 Like, I'm not... 0.98
02:08:53.000 About the Hastings? 0.98
02:08:54.000 So many people have written this message.
02:08:56.000 I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but...
02:09:00.000 Sure.
02:09:00.000 Dot, dot, dot.
02:09:01.000 And then sent me that.
02:09:02.000 I mean...
02:09:11.000 It's not that far-fetched to believe that there are people in power that will kill you if you're threatening their position.
02:09:20.000 It seems to me that's what history would suggest.
02:09:23.000 But it goes along the lines of what we were talking about earlier.
02:09:26.000 Of how anonymous you can be now.
02:09:27.000 And also about what's possible.
02:09:30.000 You know anybody at the NSA? I don't know anybody.
02:09:32.000 Do you?
02:09:32.000 No, I don't know anybody at the NSA. Exactly.
02:09:33.000 I don't know any of those guys.
02:09:34.000 I don't know one person.
02:09:36.000 So, you know, yeah, I believe that there are probably people who could manipulate a car.
02:09:42.000 Yes.
02:09:43.000 It can be done now.
02:09:44.000 It's a fact.
02:09:44.000 It's really pretty wild.
02:09:45.000 No, it's a fact.
02:09:46.000 It can be done now.
02:09:47.000 I want to get that Tesla, by the way.
02:09:48.000 Whether it's been done is not a fact, but it's a fact that it can be done.
02:09:53.000 Wow.
02:09:54.000 Look at that.
02:09:55.000 Hacking a car is way too easy.
02:09:57.000 These guys who have looked at it and said that you're not talking about going faster than the speed of light.
02:10:03.000 You're talking about something that can be done.
02:10:05.000 Mm-hmm.
02:10:05.000 And not only that, a guy came out with an iPhone application, a $25 iPhone application that can take over your car.
02:10:12.000 Come on! 0.61
02:10:13.000 Yeah, someone came up with an application for a cell phone that can take over a car.
02:10:18.000 One of the reasons why he talked about it, because he wanted to let people know, like, hey, look, I made this.
02:10:25.000 Know that this is real, okay?
02:10:27.000 I'm not trying to hurt anybody, but I want everybody to know that this is possible.
02:10:30.000 Talk about being able to steal a car really easily.
02:10:33.000 Yeah, well, a car's a computer.
02:10:35.000 And again, it sort of goes to what we were talking about, about one day there's going to be a point in time where money's not real.
02:10:40.000 There's also going to be a point in time where objects aren't real either because they're computers and you're going to be able to control it all.
02:10:46.000 This is really amazing.
02:10:48.000 I never thought of that.
02:10:49.000 I'm literally looking at that Tesla.
02:10:50.000 I want to get that electric car.
02:10:51.000 Oh, that's the craziest.
02:10:52.000 You should get a 1970 Porsche.
02:10:54.000 Get an old car.
02:10:56.000 I know!
02:10:56.000 I'm going to be driving it because they're always updating that car.
02:10:59.000 They're always downloading information into it, that Tesla, right?
02:11:01.000 You want a car with a carburetor?
02:11:06.000 It's six miles to the gallon?
02:11:08.000 No, the old Porsche is not bad.
02:11:10.000 It's a light car.
02:11:11.000 What do you think?
02:11:11.000 You know a lot about cars.
02:11:12.000 I love Tesla.
02:11:13.000 It's a great car.
02:11:14.000 Well, no.
02:11:16.000 The issue, I mean, yes or no.
02:11:17.000 You can't have it as your primary car.
02:11:19.000 Your only car.
02:11:20.000 That's what I would get. 1.00
02:11:20.000 Because if the shit hits the fan, you're stuck. 1.00
02:11:23.000 Okay, gasoline is going to exist for a while. 1.00
02:11:26.000 Even if there's some sort of a pandemic, walking dead type scenario, you can be able to find pockets of gas.
02:11:34.000 But the issue with these cars right now is twofold.
02:11:38.000 One, there's not enough superstations.
02:11:40.000 And what a superstation is, you can go there and in 10 minutes they can charge it like 50%.
02:11:45.000 It's pretty badass.
02:11:46.000 It only takes like 10 minutes.
02:11:47.000 The other way to do it, I think it's like...
02:11:51.000 I think it's within 30 minutes or an hour.
02:11:53.000 They get it up to like 90%.
02:11:55.000 But then to get to that last, the extra 10%, it's quite a bit more. 0.99
02:11:59.000 It's a pain in the dick, man. 0.97
02:12:01.000 If you're just driving back and forth and you know you're going to park it in your house every night and commute, it goes about 300 miles. 0.99
02:12:08.000 And that's good.
02:12:09.000 That's fine.
02:12:09.000 Like for LA traffic during the day, that's fine.
02:12:12.000 It'll work.
02:12:13.000 But if you want to go somewhere, like if you want to go to Vegas...
02:12:17.000 You might not make it.
02:12:18.000 You're going to have to stop somewhere along the way and charge your car.
02:12:22.000 And it might take a half an hour.
02:12:23.000 I'm getting one because I go to Vegas twice a year.
02:12:25.000 I'm getting a Tesla.
02:12:26.000 Yeah.
02:12:26.000 I mean, if you're not going to go to Yosemite, you're not going to drive up to San Francisco.
02:12:30.000 Yeah, yeah, I get it.
02:12:31.000 It's a beautiful car.
02:12:33.000 It's a beautiful car.
02:12:33.000 I interviewed Martine Rothblatt.
02:12:36.000 She is the woman who...
02:12:38.000 She actually invented DirecTV. 0.64
02:12:41.000 Or not DirecTV.
02:12:43.000 XM Radio.
02:12:44.000 Satellite Radio.
02:12:44.000 Wow.
02:12:45.000 And had one of those things.
02:12:47.000 I remember that.
02:12:48.000 One of those Tesla things.
02:12:49.000 And I was like, ooh, this is badass.
02:12:51.000 Like this thing...
02:12:51.000 She's the one who, in the video for this new show that I'm doing, she has a robot made of her spouse.
02:12:59.000 It's called Bina48. 0.98
02:13:01.000 Her wife's name is Bina, and she has this Bina48 robot that's a head that talks to you. 0.99
02:13:06.000 It's connected to a computer, and you talk to it and ask it questions, and it answers and responds.
02:13:11.000 And it's like, this is like...
02:13:14.000 One step further than the last one that she had, which is one step further than the previous one.
02:13:18.000 She's slowly but surely updating these things until eventually it's a real robot.
02:13:24.000 Eventually, it's not just going to be a robot of her spouse.
02:13:27.000 It's going to be her spouse. 0.99
02:13:31.000 It's an inevitability, but she had that badass Tesla ass. 1.00
02:13:37.000 It's a wicked car, man. 0.99
02:13:38.000 It's fast, too.
02:13:39.000 It's weird fast because it all is like immediate and instant.
02:13:42.000 It's like there's no gears.
02:13:44.000 How long until the other car companies come along and have their version of the Tesla?
02:13:47.000 Because I think it's selling really well.
02:13:49.000 Pretty sure.
02:13:50.000 Why wouldn't you get it?
02:13:50.000 It would, for sure.
02:13:51.000 What Tesla figured out was how to make a car that's electric doesn't look like a piece of shit. 1.00
02:13:56.000 Right. 1.00
02:13:56.000 They were the first ones. 1.00
02:13:58.000 It's a badass car.
02:13:59.000 I'm not even in cars.
02:13:59.000 You know me.
02:14:00.000 I drive the lamest cars.
02:14:01.000 I actually want one.
02:14:02.000 Well, that sports car they have, too, is wicked.
02:14:05.000 That thing is fast. 0.99
02:14:06.000 Yeah, but it's really rear-weight biased because of all the lithium-ion batteries in the trunk.
02:14:10.000 There's a lot of weight in the rear.
02:14:12.000 That sentence right there is a guy who knows cars.
02:14:15.000 It's very weight biased, the lithium battery.
02:14:17.000 I'm like, all right, yeah, all right.
02:14:18.000 Well, you know, Porsches are rear-balanced for the most part, except for the Caymans and Boxsters, which are actually the better-designed cars.
02:14:26.000 They're in a really tricky situation because the 911, since the beginning, when they first designed it, they designed it with an engine that's hung out behind the rear wheels.
02:14:35.000 Nobody else does that.
02:14:35.000 There's not another car that does that.
02:14:37.000 Everybody else does either a mid-engine format, which means that the engine is in front of the wheels, or it means it's in front of the front wheels, which allows the weight in the front.
02:14:45.000 That's a good 50-50 distribution way.
02:14:47.000 We have the front-engine car.
02:14:49.000 That's why I like the Lexus LFA, that super-fast, crazy, hyped-up Lexus.
02:14:53.000 That was a front-engine car.
02:14:54.000 The Corvette ZR1, that's a front-engine car.
02:14:56.000 But a lot of the exotics, like Ferrari, mid-engine, the Acura NSX, that was a mid-engine car for balance issues, just like the Cayman and the Boxster.
02:15:06.000 But Porsche keeps their engine now back still.
02:15:08.000 So they have to engineer all these ways to avoid what's called lift throttle oversteer because of the fact that you have this weight in the back.
02:15:15.000 As you're going around a corner, if you let off the brakes, your front end comes up and then the ass end goes forward and spins.
02:15:22.000 So you have to keep the front end down.
02:15:24.000 So you have to keep accelerating into a corner because you've got this massive pendulum behind you.
02:15:29.000 So if you know how to use it, it's wicked.
02:15:32.000 So if you know how to use it, you actually know how to accelerate out of corners better.
02:15:35.000 You know how to judge it and gauge it. 0.99
02:15:38.000 But not in that fucking Tesla. 1.00
02:15:41.000 You've got a bunch of batteries back there and little skinny-ass tires. 1.00
02:15:44.000 If you look at a Porsche like my GT3, the RS, those tires are like 15 inches wide. 0.98
02:15:51.000 They're fucking giant in the back. 0.60
02:15:53.000 That's the car you have out there. 0.99
02:15:54.000 That's a race car.
02:15:55.000 Yeah, it is.
02:15:55.000 But that's the point.
02:15:56.000 It's designed.
02:15:57.000 It knows how to deal with this rear weight.
02:16:00.000 I don't think the Tesla is that sporty.
02:16:03.000 I think there's actually been tests.
02:16:04.000 I think Chris Harris, who's one of my favorite automotive journalists, does a lot of cool videos on cars. 0.97
02:16:10.000 They took a Tesla around a track and it was like fucking sliding all over the place.
02:16:14.000 But I mean, what are you doing? 0.98
02:16:16.000 Are you going on a track or are you just driving it around town?
02:16:17.000 No, I'm just going to drive around.
02:16:18.000 And you're not even looking at that one.
02:16:20.000 You're not looking at the little sports car one.
02:16:22.000 No, I'm looking at the big one.
02:16:22.000 You're looking at the big one.
02:16:23.000 Yeah, the big one's beautiful.
02:16:25.000 Yeah.
02:16:26.000 But there's only them and then there's the karma, the Fisker karma, but I think they went out of business.
02:16:31.000 I think they did, yeah.
02:16:31.000 Do you know what happened with them?
02:16:32.000 No.
02:16:34.000 Listen to this.
02:16:35.000 They had a gang of them parked on the docks when Hurricane Sandy hit.
02:16:40.000 And the water came up really high, and it flooded the docks.
02:16:45.000 And so these cars got flooded, and they exploded.
02:16:50.000 They started exploding.
02:16:53.000 And then they realized, oh, you just got this massive electrical power source, and water gets on it, and it explodes.
02:17:02.000 Well, good thing we found out through Hurricane Sandy.
02:17:04.000 Instead of driving through standing water.
02:17:07.000 It's raining.
02:17:07.000 It's raining.
02:17:08.000 Yeah! 1.00
02:17:09.000 You could be driving through standing water and your fucking car would explode. 1.00
02:17:12.000 Look at that. 1.00
02:17:12.000 Those are all those cars. 1.00
02:17:13.000 They burnt to the ground.
02:17:15.000 Wow!
02:17:15.000 Yeah, they exploded and burst.
02:17:16.000 I think it was like 15 cars or something crazy like that.
02:17:19.000 Does it say in the article how many cars?
02:17:21.000 They lost a shitload of them.
02:17:23.000 They all got wet and exploded.
02:17:25.000 Speaking of explosive, watch how I changed it.
02:17:29.000 I have an explosive new show coming out.
02:17:31.000 No, not that.
02:17:32.000 16. I will be at the Schaumburg Improv.
02:17:34.000 No, but here's my question.
02:17:36.000 Rory McDonald...
02:17:38.000 Jake Ellenberger.
02:17:39.000 It's this weekend, son.
02:17:40.000 What's your call?
02:17:41.000 Chaos.
02:17:41.000 That's my call.
02:17:42.000 Who the hell knows? 0.94
02:17:43.000 Wicked. 0.97
02:17:44.000 Those are two pit bulls, man. 0.98
02:17:46.000 Yeah.
02:17:46.000 Those are two elite of the elite.
02:17:48.000 Yeah.
02:17:48.000 Ellenberger has a lot more experience with high-level competition, though.
02:17:52.000 He's fought Nate Marquardt, all kinds of guys.
02:17:54.000 Oh, he's knocked Nate Marquardt silly.
02:17:57.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:17:57.000 I mean, he's a beast. 0.99
02:17:59.000 Jake Ellenberger is a fucking beast. 1.00
02:18:01.000 Knocked out Jake Shields. 1.00
02:18:03.000 Ellenberger is a motherfucker, man. 1.00
02:18:05.000 He hits hard. 1.00
02:18:07.000 He's fast as shit. 0.99
02:18:08.000 And the way he took out Nate Marquardt opened up a lot of people's eyes. 1.00
02:18:11.000 He's real dangerous.
02:18:13.000 How did he do that? 0.99
02:18:14.000 I mean, Nate's such a killer. 0.91
02:18:16.000 It's a real good question.
02:18:17.000 Especially when you look at Nate's previous fight.
02:18:20.000 Well, the previous fight was not a good one.
02:18:22.000 He fought Tarek Safedine and lost his title, got leg kicked. 0.94
02:18:26.000 Safedine just leg-kicked the shit out of him. 0.98
02:18:28.000 He just fought real smart. 0.99
02:18:29.000 He didn't plan for that or something.
02:18:31.000 Well, I don't think you could take it away from Safedine because I think he fought the worst-case scenario fight when you're fighting a really...
02:18:38.000 What Safedine is is a very technical kickboxer.
02:18:43.000 He's very technical.
02:18:44.000 He does things the right way.
02:18:46.000 Marquardt is athletic and powerful and explosive, but no disrespect to his camp, I don't think he's trained in the...
02:18:55.000 Technical level of Safonine.
02:18:57.000 Safonine was like a real professional kickboxer.
02:18:59.000 And his Muay Thai, his kickboxing is very much on point.
02:19:03.000 And if you think you could eat leg kicks from a guy like that, you're mistaken.
02:19:07.000 And there's a lot of guys that are real good, especially Mark Hart coming off of that fight with Tyron Woodley. 0.99
02:19:12.000 And Tyron Woodley's a motherfucker, right? 0.96
02:19:14.000 So he knocks out Tyron Woodley with this video game combination of punches that looks just spectacular. 0.99
02:19:21.000 He's on top of the world.
02:19:21.000 He thinks he's the crusher at 170. He's going to beat everyone's ass.
02:19:25.000 And how is Safedine going to fuck with him? 1.00
02:19:26.000 Well, Safedine just starts kicking that leg, man. 0.99
02:19:28.000 Slowly but surely in a fifth round fight.
02:19:46.000 We're good to go. 1.00
02:20:02.000 It ruins careers with that fucking leg kick. 1.00
02:20:04.000 He does. 1.00
02:20:05.000 Yeah, if you stand in front of him.
02:20:06.000 And that's something...
02:20:07.000 Well, you know what?
02:20:08.000 It's the evolution of the sport. 1.00
02:20:09.000 People are realizing, like, the people used to always give me shit. 0.99
02:20:13.000 You know, that was one of the number one criticisms that I get from people, that I bring up leg kicks too much. 0.98
02:20:17.000 Like, why isn't he leg kicking?
02:20:18.000 Why isn't he leg kicking?
02:20:19.000 It's like, it's because you've never been leg kicked.
02:20:21.000 If you've been leg kicked correctly...
02:20:22.000 Like, we're starting to see it slowly but surely.
02:20:25.000 All these various techniques...
02:20:27.000 Entering into MMA. We didn't see nearly as many head kicks in the past. 0.58
02:20:31.000 The early days of MMA. It was very rare.
02:20:34.000 But now people are wheel kicking people and knocking people out.
02:20:36.000 This is stuff that I've been calling for for the longest time.
02:20:39.000 And it's not because I'm just looking for some unrealistic aspect of the sport to emerge.
02:20:46.000 No, it's because they're super effective.
02:20:48.000 So you get a guy like Aldo that shows that in the fight with Uriah Faber.
02:20:52.000 Perfect example.
02:20:53.000 Uriah Faber, if you never followed it... 0.99
02:20:55.000 For like weeks after that fight, he was fucked. 0.99
02:20:58.000 I talked to him about it. 0.99
02:20:59.000 His leg was twice the size, swollen up.
02:21:01.000 He told me, he said, I thought I was going to faint.
02:21:04.000 Yeah.
02:21:05.000 It was so, it hurt so badly, I thought I was going to faint in the ring.
02:21:08.000 That's in the cage.
02:21:09.000 I'm sorry if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, yeah, he's so tough.
02:21:12.000 Yeah, he's an animal.
02:21:12.000 I don't know if that's exactly what he said when we talked about it.
02:21:14.000 And that's, I think he used the word faint.
02:21:16.000 And I was like, that's, that's a, that's a warrior that A lot of people would have quit.
02:21:21.000 Uriah Faber, by the way, I make an argument.
02:21:24.000 He broke both his hands on Mike Brown's head and kept fighting and was using his elbows.
02:21:30.000 He did it by the second round. 1.00
02:21:32.000 He's the toughest son of a bitch. 0.99
02:21:33.000 He had to fight rounds three, four, and five with two broken hands. 0.99
02:21:37.000 He's such a badass.
02:21:37.000 Yeah, he's a beast.
02:21:38.000 What a beast. 1.00
02:21:39.000 And Mike Brown's a fucking beast. 1.00
02:21:41.000 Oh, Mike Brown's a monster. 1.00
02:21:41.000 So imagine being stuck in that guy. 1.00
02:21:42.000 This is after the guy knocks you senseless and takes your title in the previous fight.
02:21:46.000 Forget it.
02:21:47.000 And then you've got to fight the next fight with him with two broken hands.
02:21:49.000 Good luck.
02:21:50.000 Yeah.
02:21:50.000 Look, it's a tough man's sport, son.
02:21:52.000 So Ellenberger and Roy McTonnell.
02:21:55.000 And Roy McTonnell. 1.00
02:21:56.000 Look, Roy McTonnell's a bad motherfucker, dude. 1.00
02:21:58.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00
02:21:59.000 He's super technical. 1.00
02:22:01.000 He's super tactical and driven and he's psycho. 0.56
02:22:04.000 Yeah, he is, isn't he? 0.95
02:22:05.000 Yeah, Rory McDonald definitely has a screw loose. 0.63
02:22:08.000 He gets in his cage and he just stares.
02:22:11.000 He's real, man.
02:22:12.000 That's what he is.
02:22:13.000 He's the real deal. 1.00
02:22:14.000 He's a fucking killer. 1.00
02:22:15.000 He's coming to get you. 1.00
02:22:16.000 He's a killer. 1.00
02:22:16.000 He's a killer. 1.00
02:22:17.000 Yeah, they ain't playing no games. 0.99
02:22:18.000 And he might not get you.
02:22:20.000 You might be able to get him, but he's going to get better.
02:22:24.000 If you do get him, he's going to go back to the drawing board and come back better.
02:22:27.000 I mean, he's been got before by Carlos Condit.
02:22:29.000 Carlos Condit beat him and stopped him.
02:22:31.000 When he was younger, too.
02:22:31.000 Yeah, when he was younger.
02:22:32.000 And guess what?
02:22:33.000 He came back after that and was even scarier.
02:22:35.000 You know, and he calls out Carlos Condit. 0.99
02:22:37.000 Like, his lips are trembling and shit when he talks about Condit. 0.98
02:22:40.000 And you're like, oh, Jesus. 0.99
02:22:42.000 That's another guy I have tremendous respect for, Carlos Condit.
02:22:45.000 Condit?
02:22:45.000 He's a beast.
02:22:46.000 I think he's so good.
02:22:47.000 He's so good.
02:22:48.000 Yeah.
02:22:49.000 That George St. Pierre fight, man.
02:22:50.000 He almost got him.
02:22:51.000 He never loses his composure, man.
02:22:53.000 Condit is very special. 1.00
02:22:55.000 He's tough as shit. 0.99
02:22:56.000 He's tough as nails and he's always in shape. 1.00
02:22:58.000 Like, five-round conditioning shape.
02:23:00.000 Stud.
02:23:01.000 Yeah.
02:23:01.000 Built like a tennis bro.
02:23:02.000 Yeah, he's not like the most athletic guy.
02:23:04.000 You know, he doesn't move the quickest.
02:23:06.000 He doesn't have the most power.
02:23:07.000 You know, he's just an animal.
02:23:08.000 Smart.
02:23:08.000 He's a smart fighter.
02:23:10.000 Never loses his cool. 1.00
02:23:11.000 Tough as shit. 1.00
02:23:12.000 But that Roy McDonald kid, he's no joke. 0.99
02:23:16.000 I mean, this is the first time he's fought a guy like Ellenberger, though.
02:23:19.000 I mean, you gotta think.
02:23:20.000 He beat the most impressive victories of his career, whether it's Nate Diaz.
02:23:25.000 Nate is essentially a 155-pounder.
02:23:28.000 Or BJ Penn.
02:23:29.000 BJ Penn was...
02:23:30.000 Not just a 155 pounder.
02:23:32.000 No, he's a 155. He was the 155 champion.
02:23:34.000 He had a hard time making that weight.
02:23:36.000 No, no, no.
02:23:37.000 He had a hard time making 155. That's why he stopped doing it.
02:23:41.000 That's why he went up to 170. These guys are nothing compared to Ellenberger.
02:23:46.000 Ellenberger is a legit 170 and he's a crusher.
02:23:50.000 He's a scary 170. He's a 170 that puts guys in la-la land with one punch.
02:23:54.000 So it's a really interesting fight.
02:23:56.000 Very interesting.
02:23:57.000 What's really crazy is Although Ellenberger has definitely fought the higher competition at 170, Rory's actually ranked higher than him by a lot of people and is the favorite coming into this fight just based on talent alone, based on people watching him take apart guys like Che Mills,
02:24:13.000 take apart BJ Penn.
02:24:14.000 He's also like GSP's training partner.
02:24:18.000 Not anymore, by the way.
02:24:19.000 I was going to say, correct me if I'm wrong, he said he would fight GSP, I believe, right?
02:24:23.000 I think they stopped training together.
02:24:25.000 Yeah, because he...
02:24:27.000 Kind of alluded to the fact that he would be willing to fight you.
02:24:30.000 I shouldn't say this until I talk to both of them or either one of them because I haven't talked to them about this.
02:24:35.000 But what I've read recently is that he's been training on the other side of the gym.
02:24:39.000 They realize that eventually...
02:24:41.000 They're going to fight.
02:24:42.000 I mean, he doesn't want to, but eventually...
02:24:44.000 He said there's two guys he wouldn't fight, GSP and Weidman.
02:24:47.000 Chris Weidman is also...
02:24:48.000 They've trained together.
02:24:49.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
02:24:49.000 There's a video of Rory and Weidman training together.
02:24:52.000 But who knows if that's even true.
02:24:54.000 I think Weidman's...
02:24:55.000 Bigger, isn't he?
02:24:56.000 Oh, yeah.
02:24:56.000 He's 185. Yeah.
02:24:57.000 I mean, just his frame and everything.
02:24:59.000 Not that much bigger.
02:25:00.000 You watch the two of them spar together.
02:25:01.000 It's kind of shocking.
02:25:02.000 Really?
02:25:02.000 Rory's a big kid.
02:25:03.000 He's a big kid.
02:25:03.000 I think he, I mean, he walks around over 200 pounds before he starts his cut when he gets down to 170. He does it like, you know, when he's 170, he's fucking shredded.
02:25:12.000 I have a question. 0.97
02:25:14.000 Because I've seen this guy train. 0.96
02:25:16.000 Hector Lombard's going to suck down the 170? 0.99
02:25:18.000 Yes. 0.99
02:25:18.000 What are you talking about? 0.99
02:25:20.000 No, it's not a what are you talking about at all.
02:25:21.000 How is he going to do that?
02:25:22.000 He's so big.
02:25:23.000 What are you talking about?
02:25:23.000 He's not.
02:25:24.000 He's 5'7".
02:25:25.000 He's thick.
02:25:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:25:26.000 He's muscular.
02:25:27.000 By the way, he should have been fighting at 170 his entire career.
02:25:30.000 Really?
02:25:30.000 Yeah, 100%.
02:25:31.000 When you see a guy that is competing in a smaller organization and crushing people, and then you see him fight in the UFC, and you see him start losing, and he gets out-muscled by big guys like Tim Bosch, and you realize he's losing to Yushin Okami,
02:25:46.000 and you go, oh, I see what's going on.
02:25:48.000 You don't belong in that weight class.
02:25:50.000 Wow.
02:25:50.000 You're too small for that weight class.
02:25:52.000 That's so shocking to me and it gives me so much more respect.
02:25:54.000 I've seen him training.
02:25:55.000 I was down at ATT. Oh, he's an animal.
02:25:56.000 He's the biggest, thickest guy.
02:25:58.000 I mean, I looked at him before I knew him and I went...
02:26:00.000 You're saying crazy talk.
02:26:02.000 He's 5'7".
02:26:03.000 That's a 170-pound man's friend.
02:26:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:26:05.000 He's a thick guy.
02:26:06.000 If you're that short, I guess you have to suck down because you don't have the length. 1.00
02:26:09.000 When you talk, look at his build. 1.00
02:26:11.000 That's ridiculous. 0.65
02:26:12.000 By the way, another problem with a build like that is it makes for explosive power, no doubt about it, but all that muscle requires fuel. 0.75
02:26:22.000 You really shouldn't have that much bodybuilder muscle on your body because as a fighter, It's not helping you.
02:26:30.000 It's not.
02:26:31.000 That stuff's weighing you down.
02:26:32.000 It's causing you to have this massive engine that you have to fuel.
02:26:36.000 Especially a three-round or five-round fight.
02:26:38.000 Five-rounders, especially.
02:26:40.000 For five-rounders, it's the big ones.
02:26:42.000 Yeah, if you look at the best fighters, like the high-level five-round guys, they're in good shape.
02:26:47.000 They're in great shape, but they never have that level of musculature. 0.99
02:26:50.000 I mean, he's a thick fucking guy. 0.98
02:26:52.000 He's going to fight Nate Markor. 0.99
02:26:53.000 That's going to be...
02:26:54.000 It's a crazy fight!
02:26:55.000 I can't wait to see that.
02:26:56.000 Well, it's going to be interesting to see how he deals with the cut.
02:26:58.000 There's probably a reason why he fought at 185. And some of the reasons, some people just, they don't perform well when they're dieting.
02:27:05.000 They don't perform well.
02:27:06.000 It's hard.
02:27:06.000 It's also, it kills your confidence and training.
02:27:09.000 Sure.
02:27:09.000 You start losing weight.
02:27:10.000 You start feeling weaker. 1.00
02:27:11.000 You start feeling like shit. 0.99
02:27:13.000 You want to eat. 1.00
02:27:14.000 You want to say, fuck it, I'm going back up at 185. And it depends on how much weight is he going to actually cut. 1.00
02:27:19.000 And has he done it before?
02:27:20.000 Has he ever cut a shitload of weight right before a fight before?
02:27:23.000 Because a lot of these guys, the week of the fight, they're cutting like 20 pounds. 0.97
02:27:28.000 They're dehydrating the shit out of themselves. 0.65
02:27:30.000 They feel terrible. 0.99
02:27:32.000 Some of them black out in the back room. 0.97
02:27:35.000 We've seen guys that had to get the fight canceled because they cut too much weight and then they fucking fall down and bang their head when they're out back there talking to the doctor. 0.97
02:27:45.000 Not just happened. 0.77
02:27:47.000 The idea of someone being really sick before a fight has happened many times.
02:27:52.000 24 hours before you're supposed to go into a cage and throw kicks at each other and you can't even walk.
02:27:58.000 You know? 0.99
02:27:59.000 People's lungs collapse, all kinds of weird shit. 1.00
02:28:01.000 Oh, crazy shit. 1.00
02:28:01.000 Yeah, that happened to Rory Markham. 1.00
02:28:04.000 Rory Markham when he fought Dan Hardy.
02:28:06.000 Tried to get down to 170, and his lung collapsed.
02:28:08.000 He was a big boy, too. 1.00
02:28:10.000 One of those big, country-fed, five-foot-eleven-and-a-half fucking gorillas. 1.00
02:28:15.000 I remember Pat Miletic introduced me to him once, a long time ago. 0.99
02:28:19.000 At the Hard Rock, he said, this is my best new up-and-coming 170. I was like, 170?
02:28:24.000 Yeah.
02:28:24.000 How is that guy 170?
02:28:26.000 Like, that's a football player. 0.99
02:28:27.000 Ridiculous. 0.99
02:28:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:28:28.000 Well, how about Anthony Rumble Johnson sucking down? 1.00
02:28:31.000 I did a movie with him. 0.83
02:28:32.000 He's fighting heavyweight now.
02:28:33.000 He was walking around at 230 on the set of Warrior. 0.96
02:28:36.000 I was like, you're going to suck down to what? 0.97
02:28:37.000 What did you say? 0.99
02:28:38.000 Well, he fought Arlovsky.
02:28:39.000 He beat Arlovsky as a heavyweight.
02:28:41.000 Yes, he did.
02:28:41.000 Oh, my God.
02:28:42.000 He almost knocked him out in the first round.
02:28:43.000 Wow.
02:28:43.000 Wow.
02:28:44.000 Had Arlovsky staggered, broke his jaw, had him all fucked up in the first round. 0.98
02:28:48.000 And Arlovsky managed to hang on and lose a decision.
02:28:51.000 That's the one thing about when I watched Arlovsky and how athletic he was, he ultimately didn't seem to have the, he didn't really become the UFC fighter he was supposed, people thought he was going to be.
02:29:03.000 Well, he was the champion.
02:29:06.000 I mean, at one point in time, he was the scariest guy on the planet.
02:29:09.000 Arlovsky, you know, he was knocking people out with one punch, but then he lost to Tim Sylvia, and then he came back, and, you know, they fought again, and Sylvia beat him again.
02:29:20.000 It's like...
02:29:22.000 It's one of those things where you can only stay at the top for so long, and then it's the top in relationship to where the sport is at the moment.
02:29:32.000 So in that moment, when Orlovsky was the UFC heavyweight champion, that's where the sport was.
02:29:37.000 What the sport was, was it was at this spot where this guy who was this big, super-fast, athletic kickboxer with lightning-quick reflexes was knocking guys like Paul Buentello silly.
02:29:50.000 You know, he was knocking guys silly as a heavyweight.
02:29:53.000 He was a super athlete.
02:29:55.000 He was really, like, moved really well.
02:29:58.000 But...
02:30:00.000 He started getting tagged.
02:30:01.000 He lost a few by KO. And then he loses his confidence and he starts getting KO'd on a regular basis.
02:30:08.000 He gets KO'd by Fedor.
02:30:09.000 He gets KO'd by a couple other guys, including guys that he's supposed to beat.
02:30:14.000 And, you know, it becomes a real problem.
02:30:17.000 Your confidence and everything else.
02:30:18.000 Yeah, Brett Rogers KOs him and the first 30 seconds of their fight just storms after him and KOs him.
02:30:24.000 He had a real series of problems.
02:30:27.000 He was fighting Fedor and was going punch for punch with Fedor for most of the first round and then tries this crazy flying knee and gets knocked completely unconscious.
02:30:37.000 Yeah, that felt like a lack of confidence.
02:30:38.000 He tried to rush the fight, jumping into that.
02:30:41.000 I don't know.
02:30:41.000 I don't think it's a lack of confidence.
02:30:42.000 I think he just did something stupid. 1.00
02:30:44.000 He just got crazy and he didn't respect the guy's power or he just took a wild chance. 1.00
02:30:49.000 Sometimes people take wild chances.
02:30:51.000 Is Jon Jones gonna go to heavyweight?
02:30:53.000 He doesn't have to.
02:30:54.000 He can fight at 205. He makes 205. I mean, I think he's a big kid.
02:30:59.000 I think one day he's probably going to be the heavyweight, you know?
02:31:03.000 I shouldn't say heavyweight champion.
02:31:05.000 I should say a heavyweight.
02:31:08.000 He's going to have to be a heavyweight.
02:31:09.000 But...
02:31:11.000 It'll also be interesting when you see him fight as a heavyweight because, you know, how will he do against a really big guy that's naturally larger than him that could never fight at 205?
02:31:24.000 And there are those guys.
02:31:25.000 Like, you know...
02:31:27.000 Like, Shane Carwin's a perfect example.
02:31:29.000 Shane Carwin ain't fighting 205, okay? 0.99
02:31:31.000 He's got fucking cinder blocks that he calls hands. 1.00
02:31:34.000 All his bones are giant and thick. 1.00
02:31:37.000 He's like an ogre dude, you know?
02:31:39.000 That's how he's built. 1.00
02:31:40.000 He's a giant motherfucker, you know? 1.00
02:31:42.000 Even when he's lean, he's like 250, something like that. 1.00
02:31:45.000 He's a big fucking boned guy. 0.99
02:31:48.000 He was 285. When I was hanging out with him on the... 0.99
02:31:51.000 Ultimate fighter.
02:31:52.000 He's 285. Yeah.
02:31:53.000 But when you're seeing him, you're seeing him after years of football.
02:31:57.000 Like, there's a picture of him.
02:31:58.000 You're seeing him after years of football.
02:32:00.000 He had, like, serious back injuries, man.
02:32:02.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:32:02.000 He had a couple surgeries.
02:32:04.000 I just talked to him.
02:32:04.000 He had to retire.
02:32:05.000 On a podcast.
02:32:06.000 Well, he has stenosis.
02:32:07.000 And stenosis is the canal where, like, the nerves are.
02:32:13.000 Starts getting impinged.
02:32:14.000 Oh, man.
02:32:15.000 And the discs start degrading.
02:32:16.000 And you start, like, getting numbness.
02:32:18.000 Yeah.
02:32:18.000 It's a serious, serious issue for combat athletes.
02:32:22.000 If you take in a lot of shots and your discs start degenerating and you start getting numbness and losing, that's Bas Rutan's issue as well.
02:32:30.000 That's why he's had two neck surgeries and it's why he has one arm that's atrophied.
02:32:34.000 It's all the nerves.
02:32:36.000 His nerves are getting impacted.
02:32:38.000 They're getting smushed.
02:32:39.000 They're getting cut off.
02:32:40.000 There's nothing they can do all the time. 0.99
02:32:41.000 Oh, it's a fucking huge problem. 1.00
02:32:42.000 You have surgeries and shit. 1.00
02:32:43.000 I mean, people have surgeries where they try to do it au natural. 0.99
02:32:46.000 They try to do it with yoga and stretching and try to...
02:32:49.000 But they can't fight during that time.
02:32:51.000 You have to retire.
02:32:52.000 You have to retire and you have to stop fighting.
02:32:55.000 And, you know, I think me and Carlin's got a family.
02:32:57.000 And I talked to him after his last surgery, which about...
02:33:03.000 I don't know if he's had one since, but the last surgery I talked to him about was about a year and a half ago.
02:33:08.000 No, it was a little over a year ago because it was at the UFC Expo, which just happened a couple weeks ago.
02:33:14.000 And he had just gotten out of the surgery, and he's like, I don't know when I'm going to be able to fight again.
02:33:18.000 I'm in training.
02:33:19.000 I'm trying to get it together.
02:33:21.000 He's like, but it's hard.
02:33:22.000 Well, I just talked to him recently.
02:33:25.000 And he, actually a week ago, he's just adjusting to retirement.
02:33:31.000 It's really hard for a guy like that, who is king of the beasts, to have to retire.
02:33:36.000 He's got a lot to go back to.
02:33:38.000 He's got a family, he's an electrical engineer, he's got a career.
02:33:40.000 But when I talked to him, he was on an oil field and he was looking around and he was doing some work.
02:33:45.000 It's a big transition, a big emotional transition for Shane.
02:33:49.000 Yeah, well, it has to, man.
02:33:51.000 It has to be.
02:33:53.000 It's really difficult to do, to transition from anything where you're a professional athlete with a finite career, whether it's basketball or baseball or football.
02:34:02.000 They all go through it.
02:34:02.000 They all go through it.
02:34:03.000 But for combat athletes, it's even harder because a lot of times when you're going through it, your body is just done when it's over.
02:34:11.000 You're done. 0.99
02:34:12.000 I mean, you have some serious fucking problems. 1.00
02:34:15.000 All these guys are getting their knees fixed and their back fixed. 1.00
02:34:20.000 You can't train.
02:34:21.000 I mean, you train that hard all the time.
02:34:22.000 I'm sorry, but your body is made of cartilage and bone and it grinds away, man.
02:34:26.000 And there's so many fighters that have, like, artificial discs or discs that are fused.
02:34:31.000 Yeah, we went to Metamorris.
02:34:32.000 There was that guy who won his match.
02:34:35.000 Braulio Estima.
02:34:35.000 And he's got a...
02:34:36.000 He's got an artificial disc in his neck.
02:34:38.000 Yeah, it's like a titanium disc.
02:34:40.000 Have they ever done that?
02:34:41.000 That's crazy.
02:34:41.000 I've never heard of that.
02:34:42.000 They do it in Europe.
02:34:43.000 They don't do it in America.
02:34:45.000 But they do it in Europe.
02:34:46.000 At least I don't think they do it in Europe.
02:34:48.000 And how does he find that...
02:34:50.000 I guess he looked tough to me, man. 1.00
02:34:53.000 He's still a bad motherfucker. 1.00
02:34:54.000 Even with his disc. 0.99
02:34:56.000 I mean, he trains really hard, and I know he wins world championships, and he beats top, top, top-level guys.
02:35:02.000 I like that community, that jiu-jitsu community.
02:35:05.000 I had a really good feeling being at Metamoros.
02:35:07.000 That community is...
02:35:08.000 Maybe it's a Brazilian thing. 0.91
02:35:10.000 I just like them.
02:35:11.000 They just seem like a tight group.
02:35:13.000 Well, we've talked about this in the podcast before.
02:35:16.000 The people that do jiu-jitsu and get really good at jiu-jitsu, they have healthy egos because you have to tap out on a regular basis.
02:35:22.000 Yeah.
02:35:22.000 You have to.
02:35:23.000 Yeah.
02:35:23.000 Unless you're Hicks and Gracie and no one's tapped you since 1980, you're getting tapped out on a regular basis.
02:35:29.000 Yeah.
02:35:29.000 It's just a part of the game.
02:35:30.000 You're going in there, you're rolling with, you know, Bill Cooper and Salo Hibero and you're rolling with a bunch of savages. 0.71
02:35:35.000 They're strangling you.
02:35:36.000 Yeah.
02:35:36.000 And that's part of jiu-jitsu, you know?
02:35:39.000 You get tapped.
02:35:40.000 I mean, I've been tapped by blue belts.
02:35:41.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:35:42.000 Put yourself in a bad position, somebody catches something, if you're dumb, you don't tap, and then you get your arm broken. 0.97
02:35:48.000 Because guess what? 0.99
02:35:48.000 A 200-pound man who's a blue belt who catches an arm bar correctly, and if you're tired and it gets full extension, you have to fucking tap. 0.99
02:35:57.000 It's what it is. 0.98
02:35:58.000 It is what it is. 1.00
02:35:59.000 And when you're doing that on a high level for a long time, you get a healthy ego because you're always getting your ass kicked. 1.00
02:36:07.000 You get your ass handed to you in training. 0.99
02:36:08.000 Especially when you do like those drills where you do like a tenth planet. 1.00
02:36:13.000 We'll do like nine minutes of live sparring and then you have 30 seconds rest or a minute rest rather where everybody grabs a drink and then you go to the next person for nine minutes.
02:36:23.000 In two persons... 0.99
02:36:24.000 You're doing 18 minutes of hand-to-hand fucking combat. 1.00
02:36:28.000 That's a lot of fighting. 1.00
02:36:28.000 You're going to get tapped. 1.00
02:36:29.000 You're just going to get tapped.
02:36:30.000 Unless you're the best guy, unless you're Eddie Bravo or one of the best.
02:36:33.000 And even Eddie gets tapped occasionally if he goes with his black belts or his brown belts maybe even. 0.99
02:36:38.000 When you're doing it on a regular basis and you're tired, you're going to get fucking tapped. 0.96
02:36:42.000 And if you don't do it on a regular basis and tired, then you're not going to know the proper defense. 0.96
02:36:47.000 You're not going to know how to handle yourself and defend yourself when you're in a shitty situation.
02:36:52.000 Watching Aiko get tapped by... 0.84
02:36:54.000 Aoki.
02:36:54.000 Aoki, I mean...
02:36:56.000 By Kron Gracie?
02:36:57.000 Yeah, and you could see the disappointment on his face because he's so good and everything else, but it was just, you know, it's like it happens to everybody.
02:37:05.000 You make one mistake, one mistake, see ya.
02:37:07.000 Yeah, a guy like Kron, he gets a hold of your neck, that's a wrap.
02:37:10.000 He's not going to let it go.
02:37:11.000 He's trained by the master.
02:37:13.000 Yeah, trained by the master.
02:37:14.000 And he's legit.
02:37:18.000 He trains with all the best guys on a regular basis.
02:37:21.000 He's constantly got killers going to his gym.
02:37:24.000 I mean, he's competing on a high level on a regular basis.
02:37:28.000 Yeah, I think it was Henner who said, when he rolls with Kron, he said he's fighting for his life a lot of times.
02:37:34.000 Nobody puts him through the ringer like that guy.
02:37:37.000 Henner's big. 0.98
02:37:37.000 When your dad is Hickson fucking Gracie, just think about the amount of knowledge that he must have relayed to his son. 0.98
02:37:44.000 If you don't know jujitsu, Hickson Gracie is like, there's not a whole lot of sports where there's one guy who's universally recognized as the motherfucker. 0.99
02:37:57.000 Right. 1.00
02:37:57.000 It's like the motherfucker of motherfuckers when it comes to jiu-jitsu is Hicks and Gracie. 1.00
02:38:02.000 Because if you talk to anybody, if you talk to Hoist Gracie, if you talk to any of these guys, and this is going on, by the way, by the way, by the way, in 1993, when the UFC was at first, he said, when Hoist was beating everybody in UFC 1, he was like, 0.99
02:38:18.000 you should see my brother Hickson.
02:38:20.000 My brother Hickson kills me.
02:38:22.000 And he used to talk about that.
02:38:23.000 Yeah.
02:38:24.000 The moment somebody beats me, you're in trouble because then my brother Hickson is going to join.
02:38:29.000 I remember it.
02:38:30.000 Dude, Hickson, if you watch the early days of the UFC, he was fighting in Japan, Valley Tudo.
02:38:37.000 You want to see a documentary that will get you into jiu-jitsu?
02:38:40.000 Choke. 0.93
02:38:40.000 Choke. 0.93
02:38:41.000 It's a wicked documentary.
02:38:43.000 You and I watched it together.
02:38:44.000 We were so quiet.
02:38:46.000 I think we went out to dinner afterwards.
02:38:48.000 We were so awed and quiet.
02:38:51.000 I remember he was talking about how fear and intelligence are closely related.
02:38:56.000 And you went like this.
02:38:57.000 You couldn't help yourself.
02:38:59.000 Listen to what he's saying, man.
02:39:00.000 And I was like, I am.
02:39:02.000 I haven't said a thing, dude.
02:39:03.000 You didn't have to shout at me.
02:39:04.000 We were both so bunched up about it.
02:39:06.000 And by the way, stud.
02:39:09.000 How handsome is he?
02:39:11.000 How about his yoga?
02:39:11.000 Oh, forget it.
02:39:12.000 Incredible flexibility.
02:39:13.000 In a Speedo, by the way, in Malibu.
02:39:16.000 You said, by the way, five more times.
02:39:17.000 Yeah, I don't care.
02:39:17.000 You don't care.
02:39:18.000 Because Hickson brings out the by the way in me.
02:39:21.000 I got to pee right now.
02:39:22.000 Go ahead and pee.
02:39:23.000 It's amazing when there's one guy like that, though, that stands out.
02:39:27.000 And I think one of the things...
02:39:28.000 Go ahead and pee.
02:39:29.000 I'll keep talking as if you were here.
02:39:31.000 We'll talk about everything.
02:39:33.000 Go pee.
02:39:34.000 One of the things about a guy like Hickson that's so fascinating is that...
02:39:39.000 What separates him from everybody else is not just his physicality.
02:39:44.000 He's obviously very physical.
02:39:45.000 He's got great flexibility.
02:39:47.000 He's obviously very strong.
02:39:48.000 If you looked at the old videos of Hoist Gracie when Hoist won the UFC, one of the things about Hoist that was so impressive was that he wasn't a physically imposing guy.
02:39:57.000 Hoist was like 175 pounds.
02:40:00.000 He was very thin, and he didn't have big muscles.
02:40:03.000 Hickson, on the other hand, is built like a Greek god.
02:40:06.000 So he's not muscular like, say, like a George St. Pierre.
02:40:10.000 It was more like a gymnast or something like that.
02:40:13.000 That doesn't make any sense, because George is kind of built like a gymnast.
02:40:15.000 But he was a little bit less muscular.
02:40:19.000 But he's a strong looking dude, like very obvious.
02:40:22.000 But his thing was also the mind and also yoga.
02:40:27.000 It wasn't just his technique and his physicality.
02:40:30.000 It was also the fact that he was like a recognized yogi. 0.92
02:40:33.000 So when everybody else was like doing steroids and running hills and shit with weights on their back and... 0.75
02:40:41.000 And doing all these different kinds of bodybuilding sort of things. 0.89
02:40:47.000 Hickson's doing this weird thing with his stomach.
02:40:49.000 Where he's sucking in his diaphragm.
02:40:52.000 Doing this yoga breathing technique that's really freaky to watch.
02:40:57.000 Where he can pull his stomach in and control his breath in this really astounding way.
02:41:03.000 He's also insanely flexible.
02:41:06.000 You know, like in every single way, in every single position.
02:41:10.000 And his yoga is like one of the more unique aspects of him as a martial artist because he can move in such strange ways because of the yoga.
02:41:21.000 Like, it's very rare that you get a guy who's really strong and really flexible.
02:41:26.000 And that's what he was. 0.98
02:41:28.000 On top of that, his fucking dad was Elio Gracie, who was... 0.99
02:41:33.000 Maybe the most important man in the history of martial arts. 0.99
02:41:39.000 You're talking about a guy who was doing these jiu-jitsu matches in the 1940s.
02:41:46.000 He was learning these techniques that were taught to him by Maeda, by these Japanese judo guys.
02:41:54.000 Fought this guy Kimura, which is where that famous shoulder lock is named, the Kimura shoulder lock.
02:41:59.000 He fought Elio Gracie, and Elio let the guy break his arm instead of tapping.
02:42:03.000 That's how badass he is.
02:42:05.000 Imagine growing up and that's your dad.
02:42:06.000 Your dad decides to let some guy snap his arm in a chicken wing because he doesn't want to tap.
02:42:11.000 So he learned how to do small man jujitsu.
02:42:15.000 He changed jujitsu because he was a little guy.
02:42:18.000 He was only like 140 pounds.
02:42:20.000 So because of that, he was scrapping with all these big dudes.
02:42:23.000 He had to what he called cook them.
02:42:25.000 He had to let them cook.
02:42:27.000 He couldn't just eat them raw. 1.00
02:42:28.000 He had to slowly tire these bitches out. 1.00
02:42:30.000 He called them cooking them? 1.00
02:42:32.000 He had to slowly tire them out.
02:42:33.000 So he developed a very extensive repertoire of techniques to use from the guard, and he also developed the concept of protecting yourself in a real self-defense situation.
02:42:44.000 Ilio Gracie, long before the UFC, was putting himself in these Valley Tudo matches, where he would go out there and just duke it out with dudes, and they'd put on these events in Brazil, and he would have these fights with guys.
02:42:58.000 And then his cousin, Carlos, well, there was a bunch of different, there was his brother, Carlson Gracie was his cousin, and Carlson Gracie became like the most winningest guy.
02:43:08.000 He was a bigger, stronger guy.
02:43:09.000 And he came in and beat some of the guys that Elio couldn't beat.
02:43:13.000 But Ilio developed, like, not just a system of jiu-jitsu, but a series of killers that were sons.
02:43:21.000 I mean, his sons are Halston Gracie, Horian Gracie, Hoist Gracie, Hicks and Gracie, Hoyler Gracie. 0.99
02:43:27.000 I mean, there's never been a motherfucker ever who developed that many killers as sons. 0.98
02:43:32.000 And then those guys go off and branch out, out into the world and spread jiu-jitsu. 0.99
02:43:38.000 The most astounding family in the history of martial arts.
02:43:41.000 Bar none.
02:43:42.000 No question.
02:43:42.000 Bar none is the Gracie family.
02:43:44.000 No question.
02:43:44.000 They changed.
02:43:45.000 They changed it all.
02:43:46.000 They changed.
02:43:47.000 They brought the truth to it.
02:43:48.000 You know what I mean?
02:43:49.000 All of a sudden, all your kung fu and everything is no good in here, my friend. 1.00
02:43:53.000 And it boils down, in my opinion, all to the Grandmaster.
02:43:56.000 Because it was Carlos for sure.
02:43:59.000 Carlos Gracie was also very important in the development of it.
02:44:02.000 But...
02:44:02.000 But Elio was out there duking it out with guys.
02:44:05.000 And he was small.
02:44:06.000 He was a small guy.
02:44:08.000 And because of that, and because of the impact of his sons, I think he's like the most important figure in the history of martial arts.
02:44:14.000 I would argue that that's...
02:44:16.000 I don't think there's any denying.
02:44:17.000 Once the UFC came along, and his son, who wasn't even the best one...
02:44:22.000 Was killing everybody?
02:44:23.000 He sent in his son that wasn't even the best one.
02:44:26.000 Isn't that incredible?
02:44:27.000 Isn't that incredible?
02:44:28.000 I remember him being this wrestling wizard.
02:44:30.000 And I was watching him.
02:44:31.000 And I was watching him going, that doesn't look like, I don't know, it looks like kind of bad wrestling.
02:44:35.000 I don't really get it.
02:44:35.000 Well, you let guys take him down.
02:44:37.000 Fight off his back.
02:44:38.000 Maybe fought Dan Severin. 0.99
02:44:39.000 Dan Severin, 250 fucking pound giant wrestler. 0.99
02:44:43.000 All of them. 0.99
02:44:43.000 Awesome takedown. 0.99
02:44:45.000 And then he gets caught in a triangle by this little skinny guy.
02:44:47.000 Choking Ken Tramrock and this weird thing.
02:44:49.000 Yeah, weird.
02:44:50.000 He got him with a gi choke. 0.98
02:44:52.000 Choked him with his gi. 0.96
02:44:53.000 Yeah, look, Hoist Gracie, that was an important moment for martial arts. 1.00
02:44:56.000 And it was the first time, also, that we realized that, like, in the movies, it was always a little dude with skill that was beating the fuck out of all these guys. 0.95
02:45:06.000 It was always Bruce Lee that was small but fast as fuck and using his martial arts to defeat much larger Samo Hung-looking dudes. 0.93
02:45:14.000 You know, or who was the guy with the big muscles? 0.98
02:45:16.000 Polo.
02:45:17.000 Bolo.
02:45:18.000 Yeah, Bolo Young, right?
02:45:19.000 So, you know, and Chuck Norris.
02:45:21.000 Remember when Chuck Norris and him duked it out? 0.94
02:45:22.000 Chuck Norris was bigger and stronger and Bruce Lee fucked him up.
02:45:25.000 But in the real world, that didn't really happen that often. 1.00
02:45:28.000 In the real world, those big guys sort of got a hold of you and beat your fucking head into a pulp. 0.99
02:45:32.000 That's more of what most of us saw on a regular basis. 0.98
02:45:36.000 So then when you have the craziest event in the history of martial arts, this cage fighting event where you're going to lock all these different styles in and find out who's the best...
02:45:44.000 The odds that this one really technical small guy was going to win, they were astronomical as far as the martial arts community was concerned.
02:45:51.000 They thought that the biggest karate guy was going to win.
02:45:54.000 Of course.
02:45:54.000 The biggest guy who can kick and punch hard.
02:45:56.000 And a lot of guys who were karate guys thought they were going to win because they'd never been tested.
02:46:00.000 A lot of guys like Judo guys in there, karate, kung fu guys would get in there, Krav Maga guys, and they actually believed because they had been training so long that they were going to win until all of a sudden...
02:46:12.000 They'd get caught in these weird jokes, arm bars, punched in the face.
02:46:15.000 It was just a whole different thing.
02:46:16.000 Well, this is how little they knew about it.
02:46:18.000 When guys got into certain positions, it got to a point where guys got into certain positions, they thought there was no escape in those positions, so they would just tap out.
02:46:25.000 When Remco Pardot, who was like a really tough guy, fought Marco Huas, all Marco Huas did was mount him.
02:46:31.000 Marco mounted him and he's like, well, basically the fight's over.
02:46:34.000 So he taps.
02:46:35.000 He taps and Marco mounts him.
02:46:37.000 That's like a regular basis.
02:46:39.000 That happens all the time in high-level fights.
02:46:41.000 Think about Anderson Silva's first round with Chael Sonnen.
02:46:43.000 Chael mounted him for most of the first round in the second fight.
02:46:47.000 And then in the second round, he came back and stopped him and knocked him out.
02:46:50.000 The idea that a guy mounts you and a fight's over.
02:46:53.000 That's how much MMA and that's how much jiu-jitsu has come along since the early 1990s.
02:47:00.000 We know that Anderson's going to fight Chris Weidman again.
02:47:03.000 Yes, it's going to be December 28th.
02:47:04.000 You coming?
02:47:05.000 I'm definitely coming.
02:47:07.000 I'm doing the Mirage the night before.
02:47:09.000 I'm coming.
02:47:09.000 Count me in.
02:47:10.000 But the thing is that you did see how dominant Anderson was when he got into Chris's head.
02:47:18.000 And then to fool around to that extent was just so insane.
02:47:21.000 Well, I wouldn't say he was dominant.
02:47:23.000 He was definitely hitting Weidman.
02:47:26.000 And he was hitting with a lot of leg kicks.
02:47:28.000 That was the big issue.
02:47:29.000 And that was one thing that John Donahue was concerned about.
02:47:32.000 I talked to Donahue after the fight.
02:47:34.000 This is how much of a mastermind John Donahue is.
02:47:36.000 He's the jiu-jitsu coach.
02:47:38.000 I love John, by the way.
02:47:39.000 He's a brilliant, brilliant guy.
02:47:41.000 But right after Weidman just knocks out Anderson, I go over to him, I go, congratulations.
02:47:46.000 And he goes, I was very concerned about the amount of leg kicks he was taking.
02:47:50.000 He just knocked out Anderson.
02:47:53.000 Inside the octagon, he was thinking, even the most spectacular result possible, knocked out Anderson Silva.
02:47:59.000 And he's like, I'm not I'm happy with the amount of leg kicks he was taking.
02:48:02.000 He wasn't defending the leg kicks correctly.
02:48:03.000 Like, this guy's, like, on it.
02:48:05.000 As well he should be.
02:48:07.000 You have to be.
02:48:08.000 In that game, there can't be any, you're the best kid!
02:48:10.000 No one's ever gonna beat you!
02:48:11.000 He recognizes, like, this played out great, but we got an issue.
02:48:16.000 Because Anderson Silva seems to be able to see everything you're doing.
02:48:19.000 It's going to be real interesting to see what happens in the second fight.
02:48:21.000 It's going to be interesting to see if Anderson showboats at all again.
02:48:24.000 It's going to be interesting to see how Weidman approaches it, how confident he is now.
02:48:28.000 Weidman's getting better all the time. 0.97
02:48:30.000 The fact that he knocked out Anderson Silva in his tenth fucking professional fight is insane. 0.99
02:48:36.000 It's also, though, a testament to Anderson Silva fucking around. 0.98
02:48:39.000 Not really, because Weidman had him down on the ground and had him in a heel hook long before that. 0.50
02:48:44.000 What's going to happen in the second fight?
02:48:46.000 What if Weidman is six inches further down the knee when he wraps up that heel hook?
02:48:51.000 And what if he uses the legs properly next time and laces them differently and locks up his hips so that he can't roll out of it and then rips his knee apart, Husamar Pajarez style?
02:49:02.000 I would tell you this.
02:49:03.000 I would tell you this.
02:49:04.000 Anderson's met...
02:49:05.000 And dealt with wrestlers that are probably as good or better than Weidman.
02:49:09.000 No, you're wrong.
02:49:10.000 Chael Sonnen?
02:49:11.000 You're wrong.
02:49:11.000 Weidman's better.
02:49:13.000 Weidman's a freestyle wrestler.
02:49:15.000 Weidman's better.
02:49:15.000 Four-time All-American.
02:49:17.000 Not only that, not only is he better, he's bigger and faster and scarier because he's got vicious knockout power, which is what Chael Sonnen never had.
02:49:25.000 Because he knocked out Uriah Hall, that kid who was the standout in the Ultimate Fighter that won by wheel kick, the last Ultimate Fighter.
02:49:32.000 He knocked that guy out with a left hook. 0.96
02:49:33.000 The same left hook that he knocked He knocked out Anderson with.
02:49:35.000 He knocks people out.
02:49:37.000 He knocked out Munoz with an elbow. 0.78
02:49:38.000 He smashes people.
02:49:39.000 He also puts people to sleep. 0.93
02:49:41.000 You can't take anything away from that kid. 0.99
02:49:43.000 He won that fight because Anderson Silva fucked up, and he didn't respect him. 0.98
02:49:47.000 He dropped his hands, and he got clipped. 0.97
02:49:50.000 But Weidman still won that fight. 0.99
02:49:52.000 There's a lot of fucking people that have been in that same situation, wouldn't have been able to do shit. 1.00
02:49:58.000 He was able to do shit because he's... 1.00
02:50:00.000 Like Rick Forrest Griffin and... 1.00
02:50:02.000 He's a motherfucker, dude. 1.00
02:50:03.000 He's the real deal. 1.00
02:50:04.000 The question is, though, is Anderson more of a motherfucker and more of the real deal? 0.98
02:50:08.000 And what Anderson are we going to see in that second fight? 0.99
02:50:11.000 Because in that second fight, he's going to be so goddamn motivated. 0.88
02:50:14.000 Yeah. 0.96
02:50:15.000 There's nobody like Anderson Silva.
02:50:16.000 No.
02:50:17.000 He's just so far and away better than it seems.
02:50:21.000 I don't know how he does it.
02:50:23.000 It's the craziest thing to me.
02:50:24.000 He's just a very good athlete.
02:50:26.000 He's incredible at what he does.
02:50:27.000 He's been doing it forever.
02:50:28.000 He's a master at Muay Thai, a master at Jiu-Jitsu.
02:50:31.000 He's a master at MMA. He's a master.
02:50:34.000 But he's still lost.
02:50:35.000 There's a beautiful lesson in there for fighters.
02:50:38.000 There's a beautiful lesson about human beings.
02:50:42.000 Even the greatest ever...
02:50:44.000 If you clip him on the chin, they go unconscious.
02:50:47.000 He's going out.
02:50:47.000 That's just how it is.
02:50:48.000 Clip him on the chin, he's going out.
02:50:49.000 We ran out of time, man. 1.00
02:50:50.000 Fucking show's over. 0.99
02:50:51.000 Thanks for having me, buddy. 0.99
02:50:52.000 You're the best.
02:50:53.000 I love you.
02:50:53.000 Love you.
02:50:54.000 We're going November.
02:50:55.000 You and me.
02:50:55.000 Schomburg Improv this weekend.
02:50:56.000 Please come.
02:50:57.000 And then November, we're on Meat Eater again.
02:50:59.000 I can't wait, dude.
02:50:59.000 We're hunters now.
02:51:01.000 When are we doing?
02:51:01.000 We're doing Toronto the 19th.
02:51:03.000 The 19th.
02:51:05.000 September 19th.
02:51:06.000 I'm excited. 0.91
02:51:06.000 Kellen and I are doing, I don't know what the fuck it's called, the Sony something or something in Toronto. 0.91
02:51:12.000 What is it called? 0.98
02:51:13.000 Did I tell you already?
02:51:14.000 Whatever it is.
02:51:15.000 Whatever it is.
02:51:15.000 You'll find it.
02:51:16.000 It's almost sold out though, I should tell you that.
02:51:18.000 It's...
02:51:20.000 I think last time I checked it was like three quarters.
02:51:22.000 It's only been on sale for like a week.
02:51:24.000 But it's already like three quarters sold out.
02:51:27.000 Or at least half sold out or something.
02:51:29.000 It's the Sony Center for the Performing Arts. 0.97
02:51:32.000 I fucking love Toronto. 0.95
02:51:33.000 It's one of my favorite places to go. 0.97
02:51:35.000 Oh, they updated it.
02:51:36.000 Okay.
02:51:36.000 There's still some tickets left.
02:51:39.000 The Sony Center is a new place.
02:51:41.000 I usually do Massey Hall, but that's the same week as Just for Laughs, the festival they have up there.
02:51:48.000 Canada is just, everybody loves to come to Canada.
02:51:49.000 I love Canada.
02:51:50.000 I love performing in Canada.
02:51:52.000 It's so much fun.
02:51:52.000 I'm doing it in Calgary in November.
02:51:55.000 Yeah.
02:51:56.000 BrianCallen.com.
02:51:57.000 C-A-L-L-E-N.com. 0.95
02:52:00.000 And follow him on Twitter, because every time I look at his Twitter numbers, I get sad.
02:52:04.000 That's Brian Callen.
02:52:05.000 Brian Callen Show.
02:52:06.000 Are you on the Twitter all the time?
02:52:09.000 Are you tweeting all the time?
02:52:10.000 Yeah, I'm just not... 1.00
02:52:11.000 Staying on top of that shit? 0.99
02:52:12.000 Yeah, my podcast I've been doing thanks to you. 1.00
02:52:14.000 I think I've got 75 episodes now.
02:52:16.000 Beautiful.
02:52:16.000 Getting great guests, so...
02:52:18.000 Yeah, it's a fun podcast.
02:52:20.000 It's a fun podcast. 0.99
02:52:21.000 You do get a lot of interesting motherfuckers on it, too. 0.98
02:52:23.000 Thanks to Joe Rogan! 0.99
02:52:24.000 Well, it's, you know, it's not...
02:52:25.000 Look, it's thanks to all these people that we're sort of connected to online.
02:52:29.000 We're all sort of connected to all these interesting people that are willing to now do the show, and then you get more, and then you help them, and like...
02:52:35.000 My job is just to inspire.
02:52:36.000 I just want to take young people and show them that there's a world out there of people who can teach you stuff.
02:52:41.000 I'm getting a sleep expert on.
02:52:42.000 I just love doing it.
02:52:44.000 I think I'm getting Jared Diamond on who won a Pulitzer Prize for Guns, Germs, and Steel.
02:52:50.000 What I'm realizing is all these guys who write these great books are sitting around in a room writing and they like to talk to people.
02:52:56.000 And they don't get a chance to as much.
02:52:58.000 Right!
02:52:58.000 Why wouldn't they want to teach people like me?
02:52:59.000 I learn every time I do something. 1.00
02:53:01.000 Go check it out, you fucks. 0.98
02:53:02.000 My new show airs tomorrow night, which is the 24th of July on the SyFy channel. 0.99
02:53:10.000 And it's called Joe Rogan Questions Everything.
02:53:12.000 And Duncan Trussell is in the first episode with me.
02:53:14.000 He goes looking for Bigfoot with me.
02:53:16.000 And Ari Shafir did some episodes as well.
02:53:19.000 So I'm bringing in a lot of my friends.
02:53:22.000 We're going to have some fun.
02:53:22.000 Brian Cowan will, I'm sure, eventually do one.
02:53:24.000 I want to come.
02:53:25.000 You will.
02:53:25.000 I love you, buddy.
02:53:27.000 All right.
02:53:27.000 Thank you, everybody.
02:53:28.000 We will see you tomorrow with Duncan Trussell.
02:53:30.000 He'll be on tomorrow.
02:53:32.000 And thanks to...
02:53:35.000 Oh, tomorrow night we're at the Ice House, if you get this.
02:53:37.000 We're having a little party at the Ice House doing a little stand-up comedy show.
02:53:42.000 It's so far Tom Segura, Duncan Trussell, Brian Redband, me, and I'm sure some other people will be there too.
02:53:50.000 We always have a big show at the Ice House in Pasadena because we love them.
02:53:54.000 Squarespace.com.
02:53:55.000 Go use the code word Joe and the number 7. That's one word, Joe, and the number 7. And you will save yourself 10%, you dirty freaks.
02:54:05.000 Squarespace is all you need to build a badass motherfucking website easily. 1.00
02:54:10.000 You can do it. 0.97
02:54:11.000 I can do it.
02:54:11.000 Everybody can do it.
02:54:12.000 Thanks also to Onnit.com.
02:54:14.000 Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name Rogan and stick it right up your pooper.
02:54:19.000 How about that?
02:54:20.000 Huh?
02:54:20.000 Huh?
02:54:20.000 How about that?
02:54:22.000 And then you save some money. 0.99
02:54:23.000 No, you put it up your butt and you save 10%. 0.98
02:54:25.000 Alright, we'll see you guys tomorrow. 0.95
02:54:28.000 Thank you for all the love.
02:54:29.000 Thank you for all the links on Twitter. 0.99
02:54:31.000 All the shit that you guys send me. 0.97
02:54:32.000 It is the coolest connection. 0.99
02:54:34.000 I just love the fact that it's this massive resource of information and cool videos and clips and websites.
02:54:40.000 I can't say it enough.
02:54:41.000 I say it all the time, but I can't say it enough.
02:54:43.000 I love you guys. 0.53
02:54:43.000 I appreciate the fuck out of you. 0.53
02:54:44.000 Thank you very much. 0.93
02:54:45.000 See you soon.