The Joe Rogan Experience - October 05, 2010


Joe Rogan Experience #46 - Chris Aubrey Marcus (Part 2)

Topics
big feet facial hair hair and attractiveness Sasha Gray movie experience Tyson fights lotus
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Chris Aubrey Marcus
Mentioned
Sasha Gray Mike Tyson Kenny Loggins Ace Frehley Brian Kenny G. Before Duncan Trussell Larry Holmes Harry Pussy Dee Antwerd Steven Soderbergh Lance Armstrong Marvis Frazier Pinklin Thomas Anderson Silva Buster Douglas Jenna Jameson Michael Tokes Jesus Christ Muhammad Ali and 14 more
JRE MMA Show #45 with Justin Wren & Rafael Lovato Jr. Joe Rogan Experience #47 - Michael Schiavello

Episode Stats


Length

31 minutes

Words per minute

203.14

Word count

6,392

Sentence count

861

Harmful content

Misogyny

66

sentences flagged

Toxicity

319

sentences flagged

Hate speech

57

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the boys talk about fat chicks, the weirdest things they like about them, and the weird things they don't like. Also, we talk about how we like to fuck women who are bigger than us, and why we like them. We also talk about what we like in a woman who has a weak chin and weak eyebrows, and how we feel about them. We hope you enjoy this episode and that you enjoy listening to it with your friends and family. We'll see you in the next episode where we'll be eating liquid fruit and talking about other weird things. Stay tuned for the next one where we're talking about our favorite weird things we like and weird things that we don't want to talk about. XOXO, EJ & Garrett xoxo - EJ is a standup comedian, comedian, writer, and podcaster. He is based out of Los Angeles, California. He has been in the comedy and standup comedy for over 20 years and is a regular on Comedy Central. He also hosts a radio show on the radio show called Comedy Central's "Comedy Central" and hosts a variety of standup show called "Comic-Comedy City" and is one of the funniest standup comedians in LA's funniest people in the entire LA comedy scene. EJ and Garrett talk about their love of all things comedy, music, sex, and everything in between. EJ talks about everything and anything else going on in the world. . EJ has a great sense of humor, and EJ loves his job, so much so much that he is funny. He is a comedian, and he also does a lot of other things, so EJ does a good job and he does it all, too, so you should listen to EJ's music too. I hope you do too. Ej is a good one. -EJ is also good at it too. He's a good friend of mine and I really hope you like it! Ej does it too! EJ also does it well. Thank you EJ did it so much, Ej loves it. Eheeee, Eeeeeeeeeee - Eeeee... Eeeeweee -Eeee! Eeeeeeeeeee... Eeeeeeeeeeeee...Eeeeeeeweeee is a really good guy.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 They just have this dense, thick heel skin that curls over on each side, like a human flip-flop.
00:00:07.000 You could hide a Q-tip from where the calves go into the ankles.
00:00:11.000 You could just tuck one in there and not even see it.
00:00:15.000 We were talking about that, too.
00:00:16.000 That's the thing that you least have sympathy for, is someone who's overweight. 1.00
00:00:21.000 You know, I sympathize with people who have granular problems, you know, but if you're just a fat fuck, just gluttonizing all day... 1.00
00:00:30.000 If you're a fuck a fat chick... 1.00
00:00:34.000 Say that again? 1.00
00:00:34.000 Have you ever fucked a fat chick? 1.00
00:00:35.000 I'm gonna give you a second chance. 1.00
00:00:38.000 I'm sure I have.
00:00:39.000 Sure, I've blocked it out.
00:00:41.000 It's been a long time.
00:00:41.000 You know, it actually is a little bit like, hey, it's more chick, and it actually, you know, you get sweaty and greasy.
00:00:47.000 It's like you're fucking more woman. 1.00
00:00:49.000 I kind of enjoyed it. 1.00
00:00:50.000 It was different.
00:00:51.000 Do you feel more comfortable with your body, too? 1.00
00:00:53.000 Because you're like, listen, bitch, you know you're fat. 1.00
00:00:55.000 You know, I didn't think of it that way. 1.00
00:00:56.000 I was just like... 0.99
00:00:57.000 It was kind of like, oh, there's skin and boobs everywhere and ass everywhere. 1.00
00:01:01.000 Do you ever feel uncomfortable by your body? 1.00
00:01:03.000 I could fuck any one of these folds in her stomach. 1.00
00:01:05.000 Right. 1.00
00:01:05.000 It was just weird. 1.00
00:01:06.000 Like, I don't want to do it again, but it was definitely interesting. 0.96
00:01:10.000 Who was it that told us that alien fucks with a shirt on? 0.91
00:01:12.000 Was it Ari? 0.99
00:01:15.000 Probably...
00:01:15.000 Duncan.
00:01:17.000 I don't remember.
00:01:17.000 Whatever.
00:01:18.000 Point is, I guess if you were banging...
00:01:21.000 I don't think it's Ari.
00:01:22.000 I think I'm incorrect.
00:01:23.000 If you're banging...
00:01:25.000 It might have been Louis C.K. Oh, I can see that.
00:01:28.000 No, well...
00:01:29.000 I think he actually has a bit on it, actually.
00:01:31.000 I'm pretty sure that's it.
00:01:32.000 Yeah, I think Louis has a bit on it. 1.00
00:01:35.000 You know, if you're fucking a fat chick, you can loosen up. 1.00
00:01:40.000 If you're banging some super hot alpha female with perfect shape, you're like, why is she even letting me fuck her? 1.00
00:01:45.000 This is ridiculous. 1.00
00:01:47.000 I'm not even worthy. 1.00
00:01:48.000 But if it's a fat girl, you're like, bitch, you know this is as good as you can get. 1.00
00:01:52.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:01:54.000 That's funny.
00:01:54.000 Yeah, there's definitely...
00:01:55.000 I mean, culturally, there's some cultures that still... 0.92
00:01:59.000 There's a lot of dudes who like them fat. 0.96
00:02:01.000 They like them. 0.77
00:02:02.000 I have a friend who likes thick girls, and he always jokes about it.
00:02:05.000 Sam Tripoli.
00:02:06.000 He jokes about it.
00:02:07.000 He likes them thick.
00:02:08.000 He likes them thick.
00:02:09.000 He goes, I like a thick girl. 0.59
00:02:10.000 Just so you say it out loud, I like them big. 1.00
00:02:12.000 I like a big ass. 1.00
00:02:14.000 He's hilarious about it. 1.00
00:02:16.000 That's what he likes, man.
00:02:17.000 That's his type of woman. 1.00
00:02:18.000 Always has been.
00:02:19.000 And he's not faking it.
00:02:20.000 That's what he likes.
00:02:21.000 That's what's real.
00:02:21.000 Everybody's got their own thing.
00:02:24.000 So that's a fucking weird thing. 0.95
00:02:26.000 Like when someone's got a little twist. 0.98
00:02:29.000 Yeah.
00:02:29.000 A little twist in what they're attracted to.
00:02:31.000 I like a girl with a fucking, like a long foot. 1.00
00:02:36.000 I don't want a big foot. 1.00
00:02:37.000 I don't want a wide foot.
00:02:38.000 But I like a girl with a long foot.
00:02:39.000 I have friends who will look at a girl's feet almost first. 0.99
00:02:43.000 Wow.
00:02:43.000 And they'll be like, oh no.
00:02:45.000 No, look at her feet. 1.00
00:02:46.000 She's got like a size 10. And they'll just be out.
00:02:48.000 I'm like, what?
00:02:48.000 I don't know.
00:02:49.000 I didn't even notice that.
00:02:50.000 So the big feet bother them?
00:02:51.000 Big feet are bad or like weird toes.
00:02:52.000 I'm like that with weak chins and weak eyebrows.
00:02:55.000 If a girl has a weak chin? 1.00
00:02:57.000 Or a weak eyebrow.
00:02:57.000 Really small chins are disturbing.
00:02:59.000 Yeah, they're disturbing.
00:03:00.000 I don't like it.
00:03:01.000 There's something wrong with you genetically.
00:03:03.000 Right.
00:03:04.000 Like if you're really missing a chin.
00:03:05.000 Yeah, because it reminds me of like a frog or something.
00:03:07.000 It's odd.
00:03:07.000 It's an oddity.
00:03:08.000 Like why is your lower jaw so small?
00:03:10.000 Yeah.
00:03:10.000 Like do you not have to chew things?
00:03:14.000 Are you more evolved than me?
00:03:15.000 Are you in the next stage where we're going to be eating liquid fruit?
00:03:18.000 Can you blow that out into a bubble and make a nice song from your mouth?
00:03:22.000 What is that?
00:03:23.000 Is that evolution?
00:03:25.000 Are they more evolved than us?
00:03:26.000 I don't know.
00:03:27.000 But what's up?
00:03:27.000 And also, eyebrows.
00:03:29.000 I don't know about you guys, but eyebrows bug me when chicks have really drawn-on eyebrows or just no eyebrow at all. 0.96
00:03:36.000 That bugs you? 0.58
00:03:37.000 It bugs the fuck out of me. 0.96
00:03:38.000 Why do chicks trim their eyebrows? 1.00
00:03:40.000 We don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:03:42.000 They don't even know. 1.00
00:03:43.000 If a girl has big, bushy eyebrows, we don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:03:46.000 Doesn't make her less hot. 1.00
00:03:50.000 Girls with a unibrow. 0.98
00:03:52.000 But you know what? 1.00
00:03:53.000 If a girl's really hot and she's got a unibrow, who gives a fuck? 1.00
00:03:56.000 I can tolerate a unibrow. 1.00
00:03:59.000 You just pretend she's some crazy Israeli bitch that just got out of the Secret Service over there. 1.00
00:04:05.000 She's over here spying on you, but she falls in love and you're banging her. 1.00
00:04:08.000 I don't think a unibrow would bother me at all, man. 0.95
00:04:11.000 Hairy legs are a trip.
00:04:12.000 What about facial hair?
00:04:13.000 I dated a girl when I was really young who was...
00:04:16.000 She was going to an all-girls school.
00:04:19.000 She was going to an all-girls college.
00:04:20.000 And her and her friends wouldn't shave their legs.
00:04:22.000 They were like super feminist hippie chicks. 1.00
00:04:25.000 And this just did not work out.
00:04:27.000 The conversations that we had were...
00:04:30.000 It was like they went to this completely all-girls school that was super ultra-liberal, ultra-socialist ideals, and their view of the world was very strange, and they wouldn't shave. 1.00
00:04:44.000 Why should women have to shave and men don't shave? 1.00
00:04:46.000 I'm like, how about we both shave? 1.00
00:04:48.000 I'll fucking shave for you. 1.00
00:04:50.000 If the only way to get you to shave is that I have to shave, I'll fucking shave. 1.00
00:04:53.000 I don't mind having shaved legs. 0.99
00:04:55.000 I think it's weird, but I'll do it if you'll do it. 1.00
00:04:57.000 I can't fuck you, Hobbit lady. 1.00
00:04:59.000 You got hair on your feet. 1.00
00:05:00.000 That's just a trip, man.
00:05:02.000 Girls don't be having hair on your feet. 1.00
00:05:04.000 Please, stop that.
00:05:06.000 But that's been, I mean, this female shaving has been going on for thousands of years. 1.00
00:05:10.000 Right, but what is the reason for that?
00:05:11.000 Is there an evolutionary reason?
00:05:13.000 Why are we so much more attracted to less hair?
00:05:16.000 And why is hair disgusting to us?
00:05:18.000 Is it a hygiene thing? 1.00
00:05:19.000 For a pussy, right? 1.00
00:05:20.000 It must be a hygiene thing, right? 1.00
00:05:22.000 Like, you got all that crazy hair.
00:05:23.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:05:24.000 You don't even know what the fuck is in there. 0.99
00:05:25.000 You don't know what's clean. 0.99
00:05:27.000 Well, men are visual creatures too, so it hides the... 0.99
00:05:29.000 But some guys like hairy pussies. 1.00
00:05:31.000 Harry Pussy is on the comeback. 1.00
00:05:33.000 Harry Pussy is very 2010. Sasha Gray and some of these girls, they're rocking it. 1.00
00:05:38.000 They got the bush.
00:05:38.000 But they cut it off right at the top.
00:05:41.000 They don't go all the way through.
00:05:43.000 So they let a top bush, but they don't let the butthole bush go.
00:05:48.000 So what do they do?
00:05:49.000 They wax around all that?
00:05:50.000 Wax their laser and laser around it?
00:05:52.000 Just keep a landing patch?
00:05:53.000 Or a tweezer.
00:05:54.000 No, but it's not a landing patch.
00:05:55.000 No, but it's a full triangle.
00:05:57.000 Is that like a defiance thing?
00:05:59.000 Like, I'm going to redefine my sexuality.
00:06:01.000 I think it's just that people get so accustomed to one thing that the new is hot.
00:06:06.000 Probably it'll go in 10 years.
00:06:07.000 Sasha Gray fascinates me.
00:06:09.000 And one of the reasons why she fascinates me is because she's the girl that somehow or another is free of the porn and into more mainstream people's thoughts.
00:06:24.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:06:25.000 She's not just thought of it.
00:06:26.000 She's elevated.
00:06:28.000 She's left the total porn world and she's permeated regular pop culture. 1.00
00:06:33.000 And it's strange when something like that happens.
00:06:36.000 How does one do that?
00:06:38.000 There's always like...
00:06:39.000 There's people that are super successful at something like Lance Armstrong.
00:06:43.000 Boom, there's the guy.
00:06:44.000 He's the guy who rides the bike.
00:06:46.000 And Jenna Jameson. 0.98
00:06:47.000 There's the super porn star. 0.98
00:06:48.000 She's the one.
00:06:49.000 And then there's a few that get through.
00:06:52.000 The Tracy Lords that get through and then other people know about them.
00:06:55.000 But Sasha Gray is one.
00:06:57.000 She's a unique one.
00:06:58.000 She is.
00:06:59.000 It's interesting because she's on the very hardcore side of the business too. 0.99
00:07:04.000 She's no holds barred.
00:07:05.000 Whatever she's down with.
00:07:07.000 But she kind of does it in a way where she's like, I want to explore all of the sides of sexuality, including the dark side. 0.70
00:07:14.000 So she kind of has owned it from the beginning.
00:07:17.000 Yeah.
00:07:17.000 I think that's made it better.
00:07:19.000 You don't feel like Sasha, you know, like, oh, poor Sasha.
00:07:22.000 You're like, Sasha, you know, is doing what she wants to do, and she's doing it on camera.
00:07:26.000 So that, I think, has helped her out a lot.
00:07:29.000 And then, you know, she got a big break with that Steven Soderbergh's film.
00:07:32.000 I didn't see that.
00:07:33.000 Did you see that?
00:07:34.000 Yeah, it was a little tough to watch the whole thing, but it was cool.
00:07:38.000 I would have liked it as a short movie. 0.56
00:07:42.000 You seem reluctant to say it sucked.
00:07:44.000 Who do you know? 0.73
00:07:45.000 I know Sasha.
00:07:46.000 I know some of these girls. 1.00
00:07:47.000 Well, she was an awesome actor, but look what she had to work with. 0.57
00:07:50.000 Well, it was a cool feeling.
00:07:52.000 You know, but you can't drag that on for an hour and a half.
00:07:55.000 What's the cool feeling?
00:07:56.000 What is the movie about?
00:07:57.000 It's kind of this very dark kind of artistic, you know, analysis of a call girl, you know, and how that interaction is.
00:08:05.000 But it could have been done with one scene.
00:08:07.000 Like, you get it.
00:08:08.000 You get the scene.
00:08:09.000 You get the feeling.
00:08:10.000 You get how this interaction goes.
00:08:13.000 So in the girlfriend experience, is she providing like an intimate call girl experience?
00:08:16.000 Yeah.
00:08:17.000 That it's like having a girlfriend?
00:08:18.000 Is that what the premise is?
00:08:19.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:08:19.000 I saw like two minutes of it once on television.
00:08:21.000 That's just about right.
00:08:22.000 Really?
00:08:23.000 Maybe 10. The two minutes I saw was the last two.
00:08:26.000 She was like talking to this guy and hugging him and then they cut to black. 0.99
00:08:29.000 And I was like, what the fuck is going on? 0.97
00:08:30.000 It's just kind of a snippet that lasts a little bit too long. 0.99
00:08:34.000 That's a fucking strange thing, man. 1.00
00:08:35.000 You ever have a buddy that's in love with a prostitute? 1.00
00:08:39.000 I've had guys fall in love with the stripper, like the T-Pain song. 1.00
00:08:42.000 I had a friend who was in love with a prostitute. 0.98
00:08:44.000 He was a guy I used to play pool with.
00:08:46.000 Very nice guy.
00:08:47.000 But he was unfortunate looking.
00:08:49.000 And he did not do very well with the ladies. 1.00
00:08:51.000 And he would go to this massage parlor and get jerked off by this one prostitute. 1.00
00:08:56.000 And it was like one of those creepy massage parlors. 0.99
00:09:00.000 It wasn't really a massage parlour.
00:09:02.000 They'd rub you back and then just go, what's up? 1.00
00:09:04.000 Pull your dick out. 1.00
00:09:05.000 Let's do this. 1.00
00:09:06.000 And he wanted to ask her out to dinner outside, and she wouldn't go out with them.
00:09:11.000 And he was trying to figure out, like he was asking me what I should do.
00:09:14.000 What the magic words were.
00:09:15.000 What should I do to get her to come out with me?
00:09:18.000 I really would like to see her outside of the club. 0.99
00:09:21.000 And I was like, oh, you're on your own, dude.
00:09:23.000 I don't know where the Rosetta Stone is that's going to translate that.
00:09:29.000 There's so many things wrong with what you're trying to do.
00:09:33.000 I mean, yeah, okay, what happens then?
00:09:36.000 You become boyfriend and girlfriend, and she agrees, listen, no more in the mouth, only hand jobs from now on.
00:09:43.000 Do you guys come to an agreement, or do you just accept the fact that this is what she does at work?
00:09:48.000 That's work for her. 1.00
00:09:50.000 That's tough.
00:09:51.000 Strange, right?
00:09:52.000 It's strange that we're so genetically attached.
00:09:56.000 We're so genetically attached to controlling each other's sexuality.
00:09:59.000 You could have a wife that was a massage therapist. 1.00
00:10:03.000 And she could be, ah, she gives great deep tissue.
00:10:05.000 She'll let her rub you, Bob. 0.97
00:10:06.000 Oh, really?
00:10:07.000 Your wife's going to rub me? 1.00
00:10:08.000 Is she going to rub me with oil all over my back? 1.00
00:10:10.000 And am I going to groan? 0.87
00:10:11.000 While she's rubbing me, am I going to go, oh, yeah. 0.99
00:10:15.000 Oh, so good.
00:10:16.000 And you're going to be cool with that?
00:10:17.000 Yeah.
00:10:18.000 It's okay, because it's just rubbing your back. 1.00
00:10:20.000 But if she rubs your dick, and you make those same noises, I mean, basically, she's doing the same thing. 0.99
00:10:25.000 She's just massaging you, but it just feels way better. 1.00
00:10:27.000 But it feels too good.
00:10:29.000 Too much!
00:10:29.000 Too much!
00:10:31.000 You're going to get psychologically attached to her rubbing on your dick. 1.00
00:10:34.000 You can't do that. 1.00
00:10:35.000 We draw the line.
00:10:36.000 It's a funny paradigm, and it's certainly always been one-sided.
00:10:41.000 I wouldn't even want a chick who does massages. 1.00
00:10:43.000 Yeah. 0.55
00:10:43.000 I'd feel creeped out. 0.55
00:10:44.000 Get a bunch of my buddies come over and you massage them like, what?
00:10:48.000 Yeah.
00:10:48.000 Could you imagine if you had a chick that was doing massages and you were really into her and then one of your buddies started getting massages from her?
00:10:54.000 You're like, hey, bro, what the fuck? 0.99
00:10:55.000 What are you doing? 0.99
00:10:56.000 And they have a nice long hug when they see each other.
00:11:00.000 Thank you so much for the big tip.
00:11:02.000 Oh, please, you're the best.
00:11:04.000 Stop it.
00:11:04.000 I'm not the best.
00:11:05.000 You're the best. 0.99
00:11:06.000 You kill me. 0.99
00:11:07.000 I can't wait for the next one. 0.99
00:11:08.000 When's our next one?
00:11:09.000 When's our next one?
00:11:09.000 When are we doing this again?
00:11:10.000 Yeah.
00:11:10.000 Oh, stop.
00:11:12.000 And you're like, hey, are you guys fucking? 0.99
00:11:14.000 What's going on over here? 1.00
00:11:15.000 God damn it. 0.99
00:11:16.000 You're causing pleasure with your hands. 1.00
00:11:18.000 And you're rubbing his ass cheeks. 1.00
00:11:20.000 What's up? 1.00
00:11:21.000 What's up?
00:11:23.000 That's interesting.
00:11:24.000 And then you have those conversations like, would you tell me if Mark got a hard-on while you were massaging him?
00:11:29.000 What are you saying?
00:11:31.000 Stop it.
00:11:34.000 Yeah.
00:11:35.000 There's a real distinction for me.
00:11:37.000 And there's some people who won't let their girls get a massage. 1.00
00:11:41.000 What?
00:11:41.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:11:43.000 They won't let them get a massage from another male masseuse. 1.00
00:11:48.000 That's some Taliban-type shit. 1.00
00:11:50.000 And then there's a whole variety of different levels of what people are comfortable with. 0.99
00:11:56.000 Well, I can see that. 1.00
00:11:58.000 No dudes fucking seeing you naked and rubbing your legs. 1.00
00:12:01.000 He's going to look at your pussy. 1.00
00:12:03.000 Yeah, for sure. 1.00
00:12:04.000 For sure.
00:12:05.000 I mean, it's an interesting paradigm.
00:12:07.000 I mean, for me, I think I wouldn't...
00:12:10.000 We have a...
00:12:11.000 You know, me and my girl have a very, like, very open, honest, you know, relationship.
00:12:15.000 And she... 1.00
00:12:16.000 Cue the music.
00:12:17.000 Yeah.
00:12:18.000 We respect each other's ability to just, you know, want to go out and experience things.
00:12:23.000 This segment of Chris Marcus's Pimp Hand is brought to you by the Fleshlight.
00:12:29.000 Please continue.
00:12:31.000 Boom.
00:12:31.000 Boom.
00:12:32.000 There's a real hard line between...
00:12:35.000 I'm totally cool with her getting a massage. 0.61
00:12:40.000 And even in some perfect circumstance where there was some eunuch who needed to manually get her off at some point, I think I would be cool with that.
00:12:48.000 A eunuch?
00:12:49.000 Well, you know, whatever.
00:12:50.000 They don't exist anymore.
00:12:51.000 You'll be cool with...
00:12:52.000 They do.
00:12:53.000 The Castrati still exist. 0.99
00:12:54.000 They still chop their balls off so they can sing high. 0.94
00:12:56.000 But some situation where it was very mechanical. 0.92
00:12:58.000 She goes in for a service.
00:12:59.000 He mechanically gets up. 0.99
00:13:01.000 But at the point where it's like he's lusting and she's lusting there, that's where the fucking hard line is. 0.99
00:13:09.000 Boom, boom, boom. 0.99
00:13:10.000 Forget about it at that point.
00:13:11.000 No lust.
00:13:12.000 Just physical.
00:13:13.000 Yeah.
00:13:13.000 No lust.
00:13:14.000 For me, I can make the connection.
00:13:16.000 It's the same as rubbing the back or doing something like that. 0.98
00:13:19.000 It's the same as you going to the jerk-off salon. 0.98
00:13:23.000 Right. 1.00
00:13:23.000 You go there, some girl just rubs your balls with hot oil and jerks you off, and that's it. 1.00
00:13:29.000 Nothing was going on. 1.00
00:13:31.000 Purely mechanical.
00:13:32.000 Thank you.
00:13:33.000 That was great.
00:13:34.000 That was awesome.
00:13:34.000 I got rid of that.
00:13:35.000 Not like you go out and talk about your childhood.
00:13:39.000 I don't even know my dad.
00:13:40.000 Oh my god, I don't know my dad either.
00:13:43.000 Next thing you know, you're holding hands, laying in the field, looking up at the stars. 1.00
00:13:47.000 Fuck all that, man. 1.00
00:13:49.000 That's just bullshit. 1.00
00:13:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:13:52.000 Yeah, that's no good.
00:13:54.000 No dice. 1.00
00:13:58.000 The real question is going to be what happens when we create artificial people and fuck them? 1.00
00:14:02.000 And are people even going to bother with relationships? 1.00
00:14:05.000 That's the real question.
00:14:06.000 You are on the brink of this with this fleshlight thing. 0.99
00:14:09.000 Because now you guys are the first people that have created an effective artificial vagina. 1.00
00:14:14.000 All those other ones are bullshit. 1.00
00:14:15.000 All those blow-up dolls, those are for bachelor party gag gift bags. 1.00
00:14:20.000 Those are silly. 0.99
00:14:21.000 Nobody really fucks blow-up dolls. 0.99
00:14:22.000 If you do, it's not good. 1.00
00:14:23.000 You're better off jerking off. 1.00
00:14:24.000 You might fuck one once, but they're not good. 1.00
00:14:27.000 You guys have... 1.00
00:14:29.000 A true artificial vagina. 1.00
00:14:31.000 But this is just step one. 1.00
00:14:32.000 Remember when TVs, when you go over your grandfather's house and the TV was this big giant ass fucking cabinet and the TV itself was only like 11 inches across and you needed this fucking monstrous piece of furniture with big tubes and shit in the back and wires and remember sometimes sparks would come out the back and you'd have to open up that there was like a particle board back to it and you'd unscrew it and pull it back and look inside the bowels of this fucking beast. 0.99
00:14:58.000 Now look at it. 0.99
00:14:59.000 You can watch your little iPhone.
00:15:01.000 It slips in your pocket, man.
00:15:03.000 And it's way higher resolution. 1.00
00:15:04.000 It's a much better experience watching a movie on your iPhone than it is one of those stupid TVs. 1.00
00:15:10.000 Or an iPad? 1.00
00:15:11.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
00:15:13.000 The iPad of the fake pussy is coming. 1.00
00:15:17.000 Hopefully, Fleshlight will be the ones to do it. 1.00
00:15:19.000 Do you think so?
00:15:19.000 Are you guys working with genetic engineers?
00:15:21.000 Are you on the cusp of nanotechnology?
00:15:23.000 Well, all of that, that's kind of the golden goose.
00:15:26.000 The more realistic you can get it, interactive.
00:15:30.000 People have tried to do it, but no one's done it well yet, so obviously we're looking into it.
00:15:34.000 Things have to evolve.
00:15:35.000 Are you looking into robotics?
00:15:38.000 Do you have one eye on robotics?
00:15:41.000 Just at a distance?
00:15:43.000 I don't want to get too much into it, but we've certainly explored all those different things, even making it so that they could register your performance.
00:15:50.000 So you could almost log in and see how your performance is compared to somebody else on your machine.
00:15:55.000 Like in Quartz?
00:15:58.000 Like a video game.
00:15:59.000 How do you register as a game?
00:16:02.000 You have high scores.
00:16:03.000 You are devaluing the personal experience.
00:16:05.000 You're taking it too far, man.
00:16:07.000 2,000 strokes.
00:16:08.000 Shouldn't it be like three? 0.99
00:16:10.000 You're not fucking a person who you're trying to make feel good. 0.99
00:16:12.000 You're trying to shoot a load. 0.99
00:16:14.000 If I do this ten times, I'm like, why is it taking so long? 1.00
00:16:20.000 like, fleshlight pants for gay guys, that, like, there's, like, a thing, like, the end of the fleshlight, so it goes on their assholes. 1.00
00:16:28.000 When other guys fuck the other guy, it feels better, you know, like, it feels like a pussy adapter for another guy's asshole. 1.00
00:16:34.000 How do you know that they don't like the feeling of guys' assholes? 1.00
00:16:37.000 I don't know. 0.99
00:16:38.000 I'm just saying mix it up a little bit.
00:16:39.000 They only have one tight. 1.00
00:16:40.000 If a dude is fucking you in the butt, he's fucking you in the butt. 1.00
00:16:44.000 You can't have a filter for that. 1.00
00:16:45.000 You want to hear something rather disturbing. 0.99
00:16:47.000 That actually happened, except the guy just put the fleshlight straight in his butt. 0.99
00:16:53.000 Oh, really? 0.98
00:16:55.000 I didn't see that, but our fleshjack team informed me.
00:16:59.000 Okay, was this a video? 0.99
00:17:02.000 So a guy stuffed the fleshlight up his butt and another guy fucked the fleshlight. 1.00
00:17:06.000 Would that make you gay? 1.00
00:17:08.000 I'm not sure.
00:17:10.000 I don't know about that. 1.00
00:17:11.000 Dude, if you do fish in the butt, it's gay. 1.00
00:17:14.000 Listen, if you... 1.00
00:17:15.000 Yeah, but I'm saying if a guy fucks you, you're a fleshlight. 1.00
00:17:19.000 Okay, see, if you stuff a fleshlight up your ass, that's gay. 1.00
00:17:22.000 If the guy fucks your fleshlight, is he gay? 1.00
00:17:24.000 Because it's not touching? 1.00
00:17:25.000 Is he gay?
00:17:25.000 Is that what you're saying?
00:17:26.000 He's just fucking a rubber vagina. 1.00
00:17:27.000 It's gay if you're somehow touching a guy getting off. 1.00
00:17:31.000 Okay, what if you don't touch him? 0.88
00:17:32.000 What if you just assume, like, a high mount?
00:17:35.000 If the guy...
00:17:36.000 Spread your legs apart. 0.91
00:17:38.000 He keeps his legs closed on top.
00:17:39.000 Do you want me to say no for a reason? 1.00
00:17:41.000 Shut up! 1.00
00:17:45.000 Is it gay? 1.00
00:17:47.000 Is it queer? 0.99
00:17:49.000 Is that queer? 1.00
00:17:50.000 That would be weird.
00:17:51.000 You know, one of our most popular selling units is called the Stamina Training Unit, though.
00:17:55.000 I have one of those.
00:17:55.000 Explain this.
00:17:57.000 Well, the concept is basically that your hand doesn't feel anything like pussy, so it doesn't prepare you to have sex. 0.98
00:18:03.000 So there's a lot of anxiety, performance anxiety, people who don't We've been able to give them a product that's very highly sensitive intercanal so they can use it and get a little bit more prepared and sensitized. 0.98
00:18:16.000 People love it.
00:18:17.000 We get feedback like, man, thank you so much.
00:18:20.000 I've always had problems with this, but now I've gotten a lot better. 1.00
00:18:23.000 The first time you actually stick your dick inside a vagina. 1.00
00:18:27.000 I remember the first time I had sex, I came in one second. 1.00
00:18:31.000 I came in one second. 0.90
00:18:33.000 I stuck it.
00:18:33.000 I pulled it out and there was just loads everywhere.
00:18:36.000 Oh my god.
00:18:37.000 I barely made it.
00:18:38.000 Barely made it.
00:18:39.000 You have no idea what that's going to feel like.
00:18:41.000 The first time I blew a load, I was in shock.
00:18:43.000 I didn't even know that... 0.99
00:18:45.000 Nobody told me shit. 0.99
00:18:48.000 All right? 0.99
00:18:49.000 My parents didn't tell me anything.
00:18:51.000 And when I was, I guess I was like 14 or 15, 15, my girlfriend blew me and I busted one in her mouth.
00:18:57.000 And my ears rang and I was like, what the hell was that?
00:19:02.000 Like, I couldn't believe that.
00:19:04.000 Like, stuff comes out of you.
00:19:05.000 Like, you could feel it come out of you.
00:19:06.000 Like, whoa.
00:19:07.000 Oh, that's what I've been building up to.
00:19:09.000 I didn't know that there was even an orgasm thing.
00:19:12.000 I recall it being like a 30 second orgasm though, the first one.
00:19:16.000 It lasted a ridiculous amount of time. 0.99
00:19:19.000 My fucking ears rang. 1.00
00:19:20.000 The first time I came, my ears rang. 1.00
00:19:22.000 They haven't rang since.
00:19:23.000 Because I never gave myself a day off.
00:19:26.000 I've given myself like one day off since.
00:19:29.000 No, I did one time for my website.
00:19:31.000 No, it was like 30 days or something like that.
00:19:32.000 I tried to do.
00:19:33.000 But yeah, you never recapture.
00:19:36.000 It's like they say with heroin addicts.
00:19:37.000 The first time they shoot heroin, it's this insanely beautiful experience.
00:19:41.000 And from then on, you're chasing the dragon.
00:19:43.000 Chasing the dragon, yeah.
00:19:44.000 Yeah, you know that expression.
00:19:45.000 Yeah, what is that?
00:19:46.000 The first load you blow.
00:19:47.000 It's like, as good as it gets, kids.
00:19:50.000 Love it.
00:19:51.000 Enjoy it.
00:19:52.000 But the experience is so rough that it's...
00:19:54.000 It's terrible.
00:19:55.000 I mean, you're just nervous.
00:19:56.000 I remember, man, I remember the first time I'm trying to figure out how to use this condom, and I'm going into the bathroom, and I'm just like, it's not working right, and she's in the bed, and she's ready.
00:20:05.000 And I was like, literally, like, the face was hot, and I just came out and just gave up.
00:20:10.000 I was like, I'm sorry.
00:20:11.000 We gotta come up with a different paradigm to make this happen. 0.97
00:20:14.000 Like, you know, and eventually you figure it out and work, but that first time is fucking brutal. 0.96
00:20:20.000 Top, top. 0.83
00:20:22.000 What do you think about these fighters that hold off for months of time? 0.93
00:20:24.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00
00:20:25.000 They're crazy. 1.00
00:20:26.000 They're distracting the shit out of themselves. 1.00
00:20:28.000 Yeah, that seems like a really bad idea. 1.00
00:20:29.000 That's so silly. 0.98
00:20:30.000 There's no writing, no tests, no studies done ever that show a decrease in performance due to the fact that you're having sex. 0.99
00:20:39.000 I think the distraction that you would get from not having sex would be way more problematic. 0.99
00:20:45.000 That would fuck you up more. 0.99
00:20:46.000 It would fuck up your train of thought. 0.99
00:20:48.000 You wouldn't want to fight. 1.00
00:20:48.000 You wouldn't want to get some pussy cock up. 1.00
00:20:51.000 I've only gotten laid in eight weeks when going through training camp. 1.00
00:20:54.000 That's crazy.
00:20:55.000 They seem to say that it builds aggression. 0.99
00:20:59.000 That they just want to fucking conquer. 0.95
00:21:01.000 I'm sure it does. 0.98
00:21:03.000 How much aggression do you need, man? 1.00
00:21:06.000 You're a fucking professional cage fighter already. 1.00
00:21:09.000 Chances are you're aggressive. 1.00
00:21:11.000 You need to be more fucked up. 0.99
00:21:14.000 I wonder if they have a better ground game, though, because they always want to get on the ground. 1.00
00:21:17.000 I'll tell you who used to fight and who used to fuck right before he fought. 0.95
00:21:21.000 Tyson. 0.95
00:21:22.000 That should be the end of the discussion.
00:21:24.000 I didn't abstain. 0.58
00:21:25.000 I didn't abstain from sexual intercourse.
00:21:27.000 It's a natural feeling for me.
00:21:29.000 I just had to make sure I was relaxed before my big fights.
00:21:33.000 Those old Tyson training videos are beautiful.
00:21:36.000 The best was his early fights, man, like Marvis Frazier.
00:21:39.000 You ever watched the Marvis Frazier fight?
00:21:40.000 That was his assault.
00:21:42.000 He just ran up to that regular dude and beat the fuck out of him with his super alpha body. 1.00
00:21:47.000 That shit didn't even make any sense. 0.99
00:21:49.000 He came out of nowhere and got everybody excited about fighting again. 0.99
00:21:53.000 For the longest time after Muhammad Ali, nobody gave a fuck about boxing.
00:21:56.000 It's like the Larry Holmes era. 0.92
00:21:58.000 Everybody's like, what?
00:21:59.000 Larry Holmes is fighting Pinklin Thomas. 1.00
00:22:00.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99
00:22:01.000 I don't even know if they ever fought. 0.99
00:22:03.000 But you know my point. 0.99
00:22:04.000 It was like, who gives a shit? 0.99
00:22:05.000 Oh, Tony Tubbs. 1.00
00:22:06.000 Who gives a shit? 1.00
00:22:07.000 Michael Dokes. 1.00
00:22:08.000 Whatever. 1.00
00:22:09.000 Then all of a sudden, this crazy motherfucker moving a hundred times faster than everybody else and just smashing people in the face at will. 1.00
00:22:17.000 That's what we wanted to see. 1.00
00:22:18.000 We didn't want to see close fights.
00:22:21.000 We wanted to see assaults.
00:22:23.000 Two minutes, it was worth it.
00:22:26.000 Not really, though.
00:22:27.000 People get pissed off sometimes. 0.96
00:22:28.000 You have a bunch of friends over for pay-per-view because nobody gives a fuck about their prelims in boxing. 0.52
00:22:33.000 That's one of the beautiful things about the UFC. You get a UFC card, you're not just getting the main event.
00:22:37.000 You're getting a fuckload of other fights and they're all well-matched and they're all people you give a shit about. 0.93
00:22:42.000 They're all exciting fights, especially the ones that actually make the air. 0.99
00:22:45.000 So there's a bunch of shit to watch. 0.94
00:22:47.000 So if the end fight is only like 15 seconds, like Anderson Silva and James Irvin or something, like, bam, it's over. 0.99
00:22:54.000 You don't feel ripped off. 0.98
00:22:55.000 You feel like, well, we saw a lot of shit before we saw that. 0.99
00:22:58.000 Those Tyson fights, man. 0.99
00:23:00.000 I'd have friends say, I didn't even buy it. 0.99
00:23:02.000 The last one was 30 fucking seconds. 0.98
00:23:03.000 That's true. 0.99
00:23:04.000 Like, yeah, man, but that's kind of the point.
00:23:06.000 But you had to see it.
00:23:06.000 It was an epic moment.
00:23:08.000 The one I missed was the one where you lost.
00:23:10.000 Yeah, I saw that. 0.99
00:23:11.000 Because I was like, eh, who fucking... 1.00
00:23:13.000 He's going to beat the shit out of this guy. 1.00
00:23:15.000 Buster. 0.99
00:23:15.000 I'm like, Buster Douglas was like 60 to 1 underdog or something crazy. 0.99
00:23:18.000 Crazy.
00:23:19.000 What was the under... 0.97
00:23:19.000 He was something nutty, right? 0.97
00:23:20.000 Wasn't it like 30 to 1 or something?
00:23:22.000 Yeah.
00:23:24.000 You got the...
00:23:24.000 And then I remember I watched it.
00:23:25.000 I watched the tape and I was convinced while I was watching the tape that he was going to win.
00:23:29.000 I'm like, Tyson's going to win this.
00:23:31.000 I was like, I know he's going to win. 0.98
00:23:32.000 I knew he got knocked out, but I was watching a fucking replay of it. 0.99
00:23:36.000 And I was like, she's going to win this. 0.99
00:23:38.000 I know he's going to come back.
00:23:38.000 She's going to win this.
00:23:40.000 It's been a big fucking joke on Joe Rogan right here. 0.99
00:23:41.000 It just doesn't make any sense, man. 0.99
00:23:43.000 He can't be losing.
00:23:44.000 Tyson doesn't lose.
00:23:46.000 It's important when you're a kid to realize that there are human beings.
00:23:49.000 That everyone's just a human being.
00:23:50.000 Because there's a few people that just pass that human being mark in your brain.
00:23:55.000 You know?
00:23:55.000 Like Mike Tyson or meeting somebody.
00:23:57.000 Meeting some famous dude.
00:23:58.000 I met Ace Frehley when I was a little kid.
00:24:01.000 And all of a sudden, he was just this dude.
00:24:03.000 You know, Ace Frehley was the lead guitarist of KISS, for people who don't know.
00:24:05.000 And my uncle used to work in an advertising agency.
00:24:09.000 And we're in his office, and I'm hanging out with my uncle.
00:24:11.000 And all of a sudden, this dude walks in, and it's Ace Frehley.
00:24:14.000 And I was a huge KISS fan.
00:24:15.000 I didn't even have his makeup on.
00:24:16.000 This is back when KISS wore makeup.
00:24:18.000 Like, you didn't know who they are.
00:24:19.000 He's like, that's Ace Frehley. 0.99
00:24:20.000 I was like, what the fuck are you saying? 0.99
00:24:22.000 I couldn't believe the dude was right there. 0.99
00:24:25.000 And as you get older, you go, oh, that's just another dude.
00:24:29.000 Same with Kenny Loggins.
00:24:32.000 What's that, Brian?
00:24:32.000 Can you imagine?
00:24:33.000 There's people like Kenny Loggins that people think that way about.
00:24:36.000 I met Kenny Loggins.
00:24:37.000 He's pretty cool.
00:24:39.000 Did you dance with him?
00:24:39.000 He's the one who plays the flute, right?
00:24:41.000 What does he play?
00:24:43.000 Oh, not Kenny Loggins.
00:24:44.000 Kenny G. I met Kenny G. I didn't meet Footloose.
00:24:48.000 I met the flute dude.
00:24:49.000 Does he play the flute?
00:24:50.000 What does Kenny Loggins play?
00:24:51.000 Clarinet or something, Gary.
00:24:53.000 Is he the only dude to ever get that famous from playing that instrument?
00:24:57.000 Right. 1.00
00:24:57.000 He must be a bad motherfucker. 1.00
00:24:59.000 Kenny G's like the Lance Armstrong of the flute or whatever the fuck he plays. 1.00
00:25:03.000 Piper was pretty popular. 1.00
00:25:05.000 What does Kenny G play?
00:25:06.000 Saxophone? 0.50
00:25:06.000 Does he play the sax? 0.50
00:25:07.000 He does a little bit of saxophone.
00:25:08.000 Or is that John Tash?
00:25:10.000 Super white guy saxophone.
00:25:11.000 A horrible chorus in my head. 0.97
00:25:13.000 Super white. 0.73
00:25:14.000 Super white guy clarinet. 0.62
00:25:18.000 I'm never gonna dance again. 1.00
00:25:20.000 That kind of shit. 1.00
00:25:23.000 Kenny G was giant for a while, man. 1.00
00:25:25.000 And giant with anger.
00:25:26.000 People would get angry at Kenny G music.
00:25:29.000 You know? 0.99
00:25:30.000 Like, dudes, comics always used Kenny G was an awesome punchline if you wanted to shit on somebody. 0.98
00:25:35.000 You know? 0.95
00:25:36.000 Why is that?
00:25:38.000 I think it's the emasculation that he represented. 1.00
00:25:41.000 He represents dudes married to women they don't want To be married to, out on dates, having to go to a Kenny fucking G concert and just sitting there in shit, in a world of shit. 1.00
00:25:53.000 When you can be with your friends at the bar drinking and throwing darts and talking shit and watching sports and having fun. 1.00
00:26:00.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00
00:26:01.000 You're at a Kenny G concert, stupid. 1.00
00:26:03.000 And you have a jacket on because she likes the way you look with jackets. 1.00
00:26:07.000 I like a sport jacket. 1.00
00:26:08.000 And you got your fucking sport jacket on. 1.00
00:26:10.000 That's what raised the ire. 1.00
00:26:11.000 Yeah, you're eating shit. 1.00
00:26:13.000 That's it. 1.00
00:26:13.000 That's the end of the show. 1.00
00:26:15.000 That was romantic, ending it with Kenny G. Before we go, Joe, I brought a gift for you and Brian here.
00:26:22.000 What do you got?
00:26:23.000 So, you know, people kind of overlook a lot of very legal and very cool substances that are available.
00:26:30.000 And so I brought you guys some blue lotus oil.
00:26:33.000 Now, as you know, lotus oil was historically prized from the land of the lotus eaters. 0.99
00:26:38.000 It kind of gives you this euphoric, poppy feeling.
00:26:40.000 That's why it exists in a lot of Hindu artwork, right?
00:26:43.000 The lotus flower.
00:26:46.000 Wow.
00:26:47.000 It takes a ton of lotus oil to make this one little vial here.
00:26:50.000 This might be loud as I undo it.
00:26:54.000 What is it?
00:26:55.000 It's a little vial here.
00:26:57.000 Let me open this up here.
00:26:58.000 Do they extract thousands and thousands and thousands of lotus?
00:27:02.000 It's a ton.
00:27:03.000 It's an actual ton of petals to make this.
00:27:05.000 2,000 petals.
00:27:06.000 2,000 pounds of petals to make that little vial between your hands.
00:27:09.000 To make a little vat.
00:27:10.000 That's incredible.
00:27:11.000 Then they make this vial.
00:27:13.000 How large is 2...
00:27:14.000 Oh, he dropped it!
00:27:15.000 How large is 2,000...
00:27:18.000 Look at this, folks.
00:27:21.000 How large is 2,000 pedals?
00:27:24.000 It must be immense.
00:27:25.000 Well, 2,000 pounds, yeah.
00:27:26.000 I mean, 2,000 pounds of pedals.
00:27:28.000 Unbelievable.
00:27:28.000 So it makes like an ounce of the oil.
00:27:31.000 What does it look like in a room?
00:27:32.000 They're so light.
00:27:34.000 2,000 pedals. 0.99
00:27:35.000 It just takes a fucking ton. 0.99
00:27:36.000 So it's very prized. 0.99
00:27:38.000 So I took that...
00:27:40.000 I actually review it on my blog, warriorpoet.us, and you can come check it out.
00:27:44.000 So you took this?
00:27:45.000 And I took it, yeah.
00:27:46.000 How do you know how much to take?
00:27:47.000 You had a third of a vial.
00:27:48.000 I had about a half of a vial.
00:27:50.000 It kind of comes out tough, so I gave it a stiff shake.
00:27:52.000 Is that what you, this was full and then you ate?
00:27:55.000 No, no, this is brand new.
00:27:56.000 This is brand new?
00:27:57.000 This is brand new.
00:27:57.000 So this is how it comes.
00:27:58.000 It comes out full.
00:27:58.000 So I took maybe about half of that.
00:28:01.000 I maybe took about half of that.
00:28:03.000 And what does it do for you?
00:28:04.000 It was pretty rad.
00:28:04.000 You feel very euphoric.
00:28:07.000 And everything, all your sensations feel good.
00:28:10.000 And it's not overpowering.
00:28:12.000 It's not something that takes you and hits you with a hammer.
00:28:15.000 But when you say, I love you to your girlfriend, you really mean it.
00:28:18.000 Listen, I really mean it all the time, dude.
00:28:20.000 I'm not like you.
00:28:21.000 You always really mean it, but it's like you really feel it.
00:28:23.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:28:24.000 You feel the emotion.
00:28:25.000 I really feel it all the time, dude.
00:28:28.000 But it's rad.
00:28:29.000 I'm not like you, man.
00:28:30.000 I don't have problems with women. 1.00
00:28:30.000 I had some crazy dreams. 1.00
00:28:31.000 I never dreamed this before.
00:28:34.000 I dreamed I was a vampire playing basketball, just throwing shots back.
00:28:38.000 Like I'd steam out from underneath the basket and just reject some dude and Shaq dunk on him.
00:28:43.000 You thought you were a vampire playing basketball.
00:28:45.000 So it's just like super relaxed.
00:28:46.000 Very relaxing, euphoric, like very kind of cathartic.
00:28:49.000 Did you feel like you could still function?
00:28:51.000 Oh, totally.
00:28:52.000 Totally.
00:28:52.000 It was very lucid and stuff.
00:28:53.000 Do you feel intoxicated at all?
00:28:55.000 Not really.
00:28:56.000 You just feel like in a badass mood.
00:28:58.000 And it's almost like the stuff that troubles you, they go away.
00:29:01.000 You know, kind of like the lotus season.
00:29:02.000 Are you comfortable that your reaction time would be the same?
00:29:05.000 I am, yeah.
00:29:06.000 So you'd be able to drive and everything?
00:29:07.000 Yeah, it doesn't have that kind of artificial feeling that some of the other opiates and sedatives and stuff kind of do.
00:29:12.000 What if you were allergic to lotus, though? 0.86
00:29:13.000 And you're like, oh shit, I just took the most lotus ever. 1.00
00:29:17.000 Yeah, no shit. 1.00
00:29:17.000 How do you even find out if you're allergic to lotus? 1.00
00:29:19.000 Right, that gay test. 0.96
00:29:20.000 Do you like Kenny G? Yeah, you can't take this shit. 1.00
00:29:25.000 And on that note, that's a perfect way to end this. 0.99
00:29:28.000 Thank you very much, Chris.
00:29:29.000 That was a lot of fun, dude.
00:29:30.000 Thanks for coming out.
00:29:31.000 Thanks for sponsoring the podcast with the Fleshlight.
00:29:34.000 Go to Fleshlight.com and pick one up. 0.97
00:29:37.000 And like we said, Brian and I have both fucked him and we give him two thumbs up. 0.99
00:29:41.000 It is way better than just jerking off. 0.99
00:29:43.000 I have a new segment to that bit. 0.81
00:29:45.000 My bit on the Fleshlight is growing very strong.
00:29:48.000 Anyway, thank you everybody for tuning in.
00:29:51.000 I will be at...
00:29:53.000 What'd you do? 0.72
00:29:53.000 You killed it? 0.72
00:29:54.000 I will be... 1.00
00:29:55.000 There we go.
00:29:55.000 I'm at the...
00:29:57.000 Where is it?
00:29:58.000 The Galaxy Theater in Santa Ana.
00:30:00.000 That's my next gig.
00:30:01.000 Oh, actually, no.
00:30:02.000 I'm in London, but Brian doesn't have this up on the Ustream page.
00:30:06.000 Oh.
00:30:07.000 Ustream page. 0.99
00:30:08.000 Change that shit so it says it. 0.98
00:30:10.000 I'm in London at the Leicester Square Theater, but there's two shows Thursday and Friday of next week, but they're sold out already. 1.00
00:30:19.000 Sorry, bitches! 1.00
00:30:20.000 You snooze, you lose! 0.99
00:30:22.000 And then the Galaxy Theater in Santa Ana, October 22nd.
00:30:25.000 What are you playing?
00:30:25.000 Are you going to play Def Antwoord or Die Antwoord?
00:30:30.000 That's my new favorite, man.
00:30:34.000 Is this Die Antwoord?
00:30:36.000 Die Antwoord.
00:30:38.000 It's a South African band.
00:30:42.000 And it means the answer.
00:30:43.000 It's a dope band.
00:30:45.000 You ever heard these guys?
00:30:46.000 Do you know them?
00:30:47.000 No.
00:30:47.000 I like it.
00:30:48.000 They're dirty. 1.00
00:30:48.000 They got a bunch of good shit. 1.00
00:30:50.000 They got a bunch of good shit. 1.00
00:30:51.000 And they got stupid tattoos and they're ugly as fuck. 1.00
00:30:53.000 I love them. 1.00
00:30:54.000 Beautiful.
00:30:55.000 I love it.
00:30:56.000 Tomorrow, we'll have another podcast tomorrow, probably 2 to 3 p.m.
00:31:01.000 Pacific with the lovely and talented Mr. Duncan Trussell.
00:31:04.000 Where we will discuss how the UFOs are coming and the government is preparing us.
00:31:09.000 We've got some new, important information, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99
00:31:13.000 See that big rubber alien pussy? 1.00
00:31:15.000 That shit is real. 1.00
00:31:17.000 And we're going to tell you everything tomorrow. 0.99
00:31:20.000 Thank you, everybody, for tuning in to the podcast. 0.98
00:31:23.000 As always, we appreciate it very much and we love you bitches. 1.00
00:31:28.000 Thank you. 0.99