Comedian Freddie Lockhart joins Joe Rogan on the road this weekend in Austin, TX, and the boys talk about the D.A.W.O.V.E.E concert, D-Antwoord's new album, and how to deal with a guy who wants to be a comedian. Also, the boys discuss the new Star Trek: The Next Generation movie that's coming out on the Disney Channel this fall, and why they think it's going to be the best movie they've ever seen. And, of course, there's a little bit of D-A-W-O-E-R-D-E and a lot of other stuff that's going on in the world that's not really worth talking about, but we'll get to that in a minute! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thanks to our sponsor, Fleshlight. If you click the link and enter the code "Rogan" at checkout, you get 15% off your first purchase. That's right, 15% OFF your first order of Fleshlight Lightlight! You can go to joerogan.net/shop and buy it now! And if you like what you hear, share it on your socials and tell a friend about it! We'll be giving you a discount code name Rogan. at joeogan.net and we'll give you $5 off your order of $5 or more! and you'll get $10 off your entire order! at checkout! Thank you, thank you, Rogan! XOXO, Joe Rogans. XO! xO, ROGAN! XO, J.R.Rogan, Rogan, XO. Cheers, R.J. and R. Rogan, J-O. P.S. & R. O.D. - The R.B. & J-E. (A. . - R.ROGAN. R. & A. B. ( ) (Joe Rogan J. R. (Rogan) . J. (JODAN) (J. Rogans ) (R. J. & B. D. (CRYODAN ) (RODAN).
00:01:10.000Back when Freddie was actually working at the comedy store.
00:01:12.000Freddy started out the right way, like so many Comedy Store warriors have done, working there, either doing the door or working the cover booth.
00:01:25.000One of the cool things about the Comedy Store is that almost everybody working there wants to be a comic.
00:01:31.000Almost everybody working there wants to make it in show business.
00:01:36.000There's a lot of people that are great people that work in other clubs, But they're not there because they want to be comedians.
00:01:42.000The comedy store is entirely comprised of people who want to be comedians.
00:06:33.000Mine was always the weed one, the sleeping one.
00:06:36.000It could be bad things, but I'm just at least smart enough to not deny the addiction, just to know it could get out of hand if I gave in to it.
00:07:01.000I just complete out and out, stay away from it.
00:07:04.000It's like the video games, the Grand Theft Auto.
00:07:05.000I got so addicted to it, like my life was, I was literally dreaming and thinking, and my mindset would be like, oh, just take that cop's car and jack him.
00:08:28.000And this seven, eight-year-old boy was fucking throwing himself through the air and crashing into the walls of this thing with no regard to these babies that were around him.
00:11:43.000And I'm always like, alright, if we are talking about something in a room together, all in a group, and you're the person sitting there like...
00:11:53.000I'm like, are you going to be sitting there going, yeah, listen to that guy?
00:11:56.000No, you're going to be doing the same thing you do on a message board where it's just like, what's wrong with this psycho, crazy, angry person?
00:12:00.000Which says we have a social face that we put on for social issues, but at home that's maybe who you really are, the shit you're saying on YouTube.
00:12:07.000We've all been out with someone who's barely keeping it together.
00:12:10.000Someone who's like, yeah, that's a great shirt.
00:17:13.000Literally back in time, and it makes sense what he's saying.
00:17:15.000And I was, I actually, when I stumbled upon that, I was excited because I thought, you know, time travel, I always thought it to be possible.
00:17:21.000My mom worked at NASA when I was a little kid, and I think that's where the curiosity started.
00:17:24.000When I lived at Edwards Air Force Base, they were always texting, like testing X jets and crazy shit that the government was working on, which just made me knew that, you know, they're really aware of shit that we had no idea about.
00:17:34.000And that's when I kind of got into time travel, and I thought, you know, you could future time travel, just manipulation of time, basically, you stay above the Earth's atmosphere at a a mile or go a gazillion miles an hour, you'll come back and you'll have lost time.
00:18:02.000I had this argument with Brandon Christie about this, and the whole thing about time travel, it's like, doesn't time, once it's exposed, isn't it all a moot point after that?
00:18:11.000But that's what they talk about with the grandfather clause.
00:18:13.000If you go back and you shoot your grandfather, then that makes it impossible for you to time travel.
00:18:17.000But that doesn't, because I think that just means you break time.
00:18:21.000They didn't take that option into consideration when people talk about that story.
00:18:25.000The grandfather paradox, they always say, well, if you did go back in time, you'd kill your grandfather before your father was ever born, therefore you would never exist.
00:18:51.000There's people that believe, and this is a very strange theory, but it might be just as real as the one we live in, that they believe that every second you live your life, every decision you make, everything you do, all the energy that you put down guides you into various all the energy that you put down guides you into various parallel And that we are not just living in one dimension.
00:19:15.000That we are living in an infinite number of dimensions that are all around us all the time.
00:19:18.000And we can choose to slide through these dimensions with our thoughts.
00:19:23.000As you live your life, as you live your life correctly, as you live your life in the direction that you want to do with little procrastination, focused and love and joy, as you do this correctly, you move through higher and higher dimensions.
00:19:37.000Well, that's pretty much what Buddhism teaches, too, and the whole thought.
00:19:41.000And even with the yogis, they know about that through meditation and time travel.
00:19:46.000Well, I don't know if they know about that.
00:19:47.000I mean, you can't say they know about that.
00:20:09.000Yeah, what's crazy is that video became big, and then the next day, all the places were like, no, it's just a hearing aid, but yet I still get emails every day from people.
00:21:52.000I was cleaning my laptop out last night, going through all this shit, just trying to make room for it because it's just crazy crowded.
00:21:58.000And I'm just going through all these videos, and I found out that if you have the mail app, and you have a Gmail account on there, it will download everything from your Gmail account.
00:22:08.000Every video, every photo, at least that's the setting I had.
00:22:11.000And so I was like, where's all my hard drive space?
00:22:13.000So I'm going through all this shit, and there was videos that people had sent me that must have went to spam folders, you know, like crazy videos, just spam videos and stuff.
00:23:58.000You know, back in the day when you liked a girl, you were like, hey, meet me at the big toy and I'll finger you or touch her boobs or stuff?
00:24:04.000Nowadays, they're just like, hey, go to the bathroom and finger your pussy, and I'm going to go into the bathroom and finger my dick, and then we're going to FaceTime it.
00:24:12.000We're going to FaceTime it on the third grade Wi-Fi network.
00:24:15.000Can you imagine what these kids are doing nowadays with FaceTime and kids and stuff?
00:24:19.000It should also honestly make for some really smart fucking kids, though.
00:24:24.000If they use the knowledge, there's going to be some smart fucking kids.
00:24:28.000Yeah, they'll be so much more aware than we were at that age.
00:24:30.000Yeah, they're going to be much more advanced.
00:25:45.000My parents, though, what happened with me is I went from this religious upbringing from Catholic school in first grade to moving to San Francisco in second grade with my mother's new husband, who was a hippie.
00:26:18.000My next door neighbors were these gay dudes who used to get naked and hang out with my aunt because my aunt, you know, didn't worry about them fucking her.
00:27:52.000They want to step outside for a cigarette?
00:27:53.000You don't even know what's going on with Lehman Marcus.
00:27:56.000The whole way the system is set up, it's impossible for them to fail.
00:27:59.000What they're doing is they're getting fucking painless.
00:28:01.000These are smart, super intense motherfuckers.
00:28:04.000I have to choose what I do here because I can go with you on this stage and lose my life to this crazy type of thinking or I can go, yeah, I'm going to go to California and I'm going to smoke some pot and relax.
00:29:08.000So they just took chances and fucking got on boats and traveled across a goddamn ocean when there's no GPS, no cell phones, no fucking flares.
00:29:16.000Bitch, if that fucking boat goes down, you're done!
00:30:12.000And I think it seems to me that the West Coast is all slowly, as far as you get out, a big percentage of those people are going to be the children of the people who originally landed.
00:34:43.000Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with being gay.
00:34:46.000When I'm talking about some crazy liar, I'm not talking about two people that are in a consensual relationship and they enjoy each other's company and they both happen to be guys.
00:35:55.000He just went on CNN and admitted he was a gay prostitute and he had sex several times with Ted Haggard and they smoked meth together and shit.
00:36:22.000That kind of guy, when they find out about guys like that I just love, it's like you never think you're going to see that kind of justice in your life.
00:36:28.000Like one of the worst people on earth.
00:40:21.000Do you know that Monsanto, the fucking seed corporation, the genetically modified food corporation, the one that sells seeds to farmers and then makes the farmer buy new seeds next year and you can't use the seeds.
00:40:33.000Yeah, you can't reuse them like nature intends.
00:40:37.000If you buy a fucking tomato and that tomato has seeds in it, or you buy seeds for the tomato, grow the tomato, and then take the seeds out of the tomatoes you grow and replant them, they'll arrest you.
00:41:07.000A chick named Crooklyn from Tap Out Radio sent me a documentary and I watched it and it's...
00:41:12.000It's all about these people from these impoverished countries that committed suicide because they couldn't repay the debt that they owed to Monsanto.
00:41:42.000When I saw a bunch of those, the King Corn and all those other ones, I was honest to God completely naive about the whole thing.
00:41:48.000I don't eat fast food and that kind of crap, but I was like, I think I'm doing okay, but I don't realize it doesn't matter that I'm getting the choice cut of beef at Ralph's.
00:41:55.000It's still from this corn-fed slaughterhouse.
00:41:59.000They said there was something like 14,000 slaughterhouses in America in the early 80s, and now there's like Really?
00:42:07.000It's all going down through one company.
00:42:09.000Tyson Farms, and I can't remember the other one, but it's like literally your meat is all...
00:42:14.000And it's like if one's bad, that's why people are getting sick with E. coli all over in mass numbers, because nothing's regionalized anymore.
00:43:15.000It can't because you're not going to appreciate it.
00:43:17.000I mean, think about the people that we consider the most in tune with nature.
00:43:20.000Those are the American Indians, right?
00:43:22.000Those are the ones that we always glorify and we always, you know, say that these are the guys that were, like, in tune with the – they used every part of the buffalo that they killed.
00:44:13.000Shooting buffaloes and selling their skins.
00:44:15.000And they didn't know, they were picking them off like what, you know, just like cherries in the beginning because they didn't know to be afraid of man because they never had been and they never heard a gun.
00:44:32.000Species living forever in this one spot, having no problems, eating grass, wandering around, and all of a sudden these little pink monkeys with metal bang sticks come out of nowhere and just start dropping motherfuckers.
00:44:58.000All the monkeys are holding hands with the buffalo.
00:45:00.000Dude, think about how fucking freaky that would be if buffalo were intelligent and this just started happening and they were just stuck with these goofy buffalo bodies.
00:49:14.000I don't even know what he really said.
00:49:15.000But I've heard people that were very knowledgeable, that were professional fitness people, instructors, and personal trainers, fight trainers, and nutritionists.
00:49:25.000I've heard a conversation among six guys, and they were all saying, there's no fucking way.
00:50:52.000I've been eating hardcore vegan for the last couple weeks.
00:50:55.000How many dicks do you suck in those times?
00:50:57.000No, but I've been only doing it like 90% of the time, meaning I still throw in steak and stuff like that here and there, so I'm not doing 100% vegan, but I have noticed since I've been eating it, I just feel way better.
00:51:27.000What I'm saying is that you're obviously not watching it all the time.
00:51:30.000And if you do and you all of a sudden get on this trick thing like a vegan diet, when you're getting all these nutrients and all this fiber and all this water in your system, you're going to feel way better for sure.
00:56:24.000If you don't know the story, Charlie Sheen got arrested in a hotel in New York City, coked up, screaming nigger, while a prostitute was locked in his bathroom.
00:57:15.000There's something going on there, because I don't know if you guys remember, like, six months ago, there was something to do with, like, Mexican gangs and those guys.
00:58:33.000But, like, I put it on before I go to bed, so I end up, like, half-watching it, and it's, you know, it's just fucking, it's a sitcom, you know?
00:59:45.000And you realize that a lot of what puts a sitcom in certain places, like Paul Sims used to talk about it, there was the shit sandwich movie.
00:59:52.000Between Friends and there was something else that was on after Friends.
01:00:35.000The last season, for a couple reasons, wasn't as good.
01:00:38.000It wasn't as good because we had a different executive producer because Paul Sims was working on this other thing called Overseas that I was the star of.
01:00:44.000It was another sitcom that they were trying to do on NBC. And part of it was because...
01:00:49.000Phil was gone, and it was a totally different vibe.
01:00:52.000So we had John Lovitz, who was very funny, but he was very different, and we had to kind of adjust, and everybody was all fucked up, because just a few months ago, the dude was hanging out with us, and now he's murdered.
01:01:02.000And we have to do a whole episode where we have to talk about how he died, and then this guy, the Lovitz character, gets introduced.
01:01:11.000So that was part of the reason why I got canceled.
01:01:13.000But the other reason was it wasn't that successful.
01:03:47.000Yeah, and Mike Starr, you might have seen him, he's in Goodfellas, there's been a bunch of movies, and Bruce Greenwood, and it was a good cast, a good Alexandra Wentworth, but the real problem was with the network, and they didn't want these guys, Jeff and Kevin, to be the producers of the show, because they didn't think they knew how to run a show.
01:04:06.000So they brought in this other dude, and this other dude just started to Oh my god.
01:04:19.000who was playing my girlfriend in this first episode he became friends with this chick and would take her on his yacht and they would write and he would do blown fucker and come back with the worst scripts But when they would come back, she would have more lines.
01:05:16.000I'm on this new show, and I'm fucking working with Phil Hartman.
01:05:19.000So I go from never taking an acting class, never even thinking about doing acting, doing stand-up at fucking Jimmy's Comedy Alley in Queens, and then a week later, I'm in Hollywood, and two months later, I'm sitting across the table read from Phil Hartman going, what the fuck?
01:05:59.000You know how many times I contemplate playing professional pool?
01:06:02.000I stop and think about how much money would I have to squirrel away for a year to join the pro tour and try to practice 8-10 hours a day and try to make a run at playing pool.
01:07:52.000So do you think he spent time to actually plant them properly, or he just didn't really do it and he was just trying to get attention?
01:07:57.000I think he set up the one actual little farm for himself, but like I said, the second generation don't give off as good as the first, and you have to stick around and maintain that.
01:08:05.000They act like he's just sprinkled it along the countryside, wearing a pot on his head.
01:08:10.000Maybe it was just his song to promote his apple farm that he did.
01:08:13.000I think the legend is up there with Paul Bunyan, pretty much.
01:08:19.000Watch Shelly Appleseed as great-great-grandmother.
01:08:51.000Imagine they got through that shit with horses.
01:08:54.000The number of people coming out were just dying in droves, but once they finally tackled it and got it going, those are the ones who obviously survived and later thrived.
01:09:08.000uh national geographic or something was a reality show but it was like it was basically a survivor but no prize to be won they just threw you out here you gotta survive in alaska so i watched that i watched the whole thing it was fucking great dude and it really talks about like dudes were getting hungry like in the first six hours like i can't do this shit then when like even a real big like this cop dude like he couldn't hack it after a while but ladies were able to hack it it was just they were killing squirrels with their bare hands to eat yeah and And they quickly adapted to that, wouldn't you say?
01:09:36.000Like after the first week, all civility goes out the window.
01:10:44.000It's a strange name, but this guy lives in, like, northeastern Alaska.
01:10:50.000He lives in, like, this area where only a few people have permission to still live up there, and he lives in this one-room cabin, and he's been up there for 30 years.
01:10:59.000This guy literally never saw the towers fall, and he can speak good English.
01:12:24.000The reason why I was willing to do something like Fear Factor was after doing a bad sitcom and then entertaining the idea of doing another bad sitcom after News Radio.
01:12:32.000I was like, I'd rather do something that's not funny at all.
01:15:56.000One of those, I wish I thought of that, because I've often thought about it, but I never thought it was funny, about how all those stores on Melrose and stuff, you're like, how do these places pay for the rent?
01:16:38.000At least there's a major reference point here.
01:16:40.000It's like, you know, because remember, like, when you were a kid, you know, there'd be a kid in your fifth grade, my dad plays for the Raiders.
01:16:44.000It's like, I'm pretty sure he doesn't, but I can't really prove that wrong.
01:16:47.000But it's like, now, you can prove the person wrong on the spot.
01:16:51.000There's some crazy liars out there, man.
01:16:52.000I remember one time I was at this club in Florida, and this guy goes, yeah, my boy's on the phone.
01:16:56.000My boy fought Chuck Liddell before I beat him back in 99. And You know, it's like 99 or whatever the fuck the date was.
01:18:23.000So, you know, I just realized talking to you about impressions that, you know, I don't, I've never practiced any of the impressions that I've done.
01:19:38.000And they're like, okay, Mr. Freeman, I was testing it out, and I was like, oh my god, this is amazing.
01:19:42.000So when I nail one, I've been working on a Tom Hanks for years, and I still can't get it.
01:19:46.000There's something, but he's one of those, like Ice-T, like Morgan Freeman, everybody knows who he is, but nobody does him.
01:19:53.000And somewhere in here, I found that I can go back and forth with it, but it's...
01:19:58.000You're missing a little, yeah, you get it.
01:20:00.000I'm game show host-y with it right now, but it's like, there's World War II Tom Hanks, who's very solemn and talks about World War II. But then there's, you know, I'm on Conan O'Brien.
01:20:09.000It's almost like the shape of your head is wrong.
01:21:59.000I feel bad for doctors that have been prescribing weed If it becomes legal then all sudden hey, where's my business?
01:22:04.000I'm making all my money sticking my neck out there prescribing weed I gotta go back to giving kids band-aids what the fuck yeah, you know, it's tough Maybe it'll lower the cost of health care because they all have to go be doctors again And there's more doctors.
01:22:17.000How does that benefit that doctor just lost a job, Brian?
01:22:44.000It just takes somebody to actually do something, and I don't think anybody did, and nobody's going to commit political suicide this year and come out.
01:25:08.000What do you think happens when you get into office?
01:25:10.000Do you think they actually, Bill Hicks style, sit you down and show you an angle of the Kennedy assassination that no one's ever seen before?
01:25:24.000Doesn't it seem like there kind of is, though?
01:25:26.000It's like, think about the skull and bones that yell, like these real, real upper echelon kind of societies that you can never belong to, and you're privy to information that nobody...
01:25:34.000That's the most likely scenario, that it's these elite colleges, and they keep this group of people in power.
01:25:40.000And if you talk about people that have been in the skull and bones from college, I mean, it was John Kerry, it was Bush, there's been a bunch of different people.
01:25:47.000They're groomed for this from the get-go.
01:25:50.000And it's like, you know, Obama not necessarily, really wasn't, but was.
01:25:54.000If you were going to Harvard, it's not out of the question to become president.
01:26:36.000I used to think that Bush was this fucking monster and this ignorant piece of shit that's thrust into this scenario to kind of lower our standards and make everybody think that mediocre is good and you can invent words and...
01:27:44.000That guy was brought in to represent the common folk the same way they enabled the conservatives to really gain control of this country by embracing the Christian right.
01:27:54.000When the Reagan administration came in line...
01:27:56.000That was the first time when they really went out of their way to embrace religion.
01:28:00.000Go for the Christians, get the really zealot Christian vibe.
01:28:47.000I shot a thing recently at the Republican headquarters here and it was amazing to be in there and it's all pictures of Ronald Reagan as far as the eyes can see.
01:28:55.000Which is understandable, but I'm just like, don't you guys remember Bush 41 and Bush 43?
01:29:41.000If there was aliens, the only problem is if the aliens got to, like, you know, some douchebags, I don't want to mention any names, in some douchebag countries, I'm like, listen, just come with us, we'll give you fucking flying saucers, just sell out these other cunts, you know, and then they would go over and say, listen, we've made peace with the aliens, the aliens are friends, we just Come over here, we'll show you where they are.
01:30:07.000And like we talked about the East Coast and the West Coast and survival of the fittest and just the massive change that's happened in this country.
01:30:13.000It's all been because of negative shit.
01:30:15.000All this massive change, a lot of it is because of negativity.
01:30:18.000I feel like something in our lifetime is going to happen.
01:30:25.000Some legend is going to get dispelled.
01:30:27.000Or some legend is going to get proven true.
01:30:28.000Well, you know, there's the craziest theory about your life is that your life, really what it actually is, is as the world gets crazier and as more chaos ensues and you worry about extinction, you worry about some sort of a cataclysmic disaster that wipes out the rays, what you're really realizing is that you're dying.
01:30:48.000And that your own world, this universe that you have created is slowly starting to fall apart at the seams because your life is starting to end.
01:30:56.000And this whole life of history and space It's all an illusion.
01:31:01.000And it's all something that's been created by your imagination.
01:31:04.000And as it plays out, as it becomes more and more ridiculous and catastrophic, and as it ends, that's as your life ends.
01:31:12.000That's an interesting point, to think of it that way.
01:31:15.000It's just as possible as you are one being, and there's a billion other beings, and they're all in this one rock, and they're all in this one galaxy.
01:31:24.000I mean, that's crazy in and of itself.
01:32:39.000I don't think about the fact that I'm going to disappear for eight hours and I'm just going to trust that the world doesn't fall apart at the seams and explode while I'm unconscious.
01:33:03.000Well, the real scary thing about the bear attacks in the winter is there are a lot, most of the time, bears trying to eat you because they're starving to death.
01:34:50.000Well, I think we would to attack the aliens, but do you think that any species ever gets to a point where it doesn't fuck with the weaker species?
01:34:56.000It's hard to think that a mass collectiveness of fight or flight would happen.
01:35:07.000What I'm saying is, do you think that alien life in all galaxies, wherever it exists, intelligent life, do you think it always fucks with whatever's weaker than it?
01:35:17.000Does that just help things become strong?
01:35:43.000There's also the idea that they could use that as like the moon as a refueling station instead of something up there and they use that like as a launch because it's 260,000 miles out and it doesn't have the same kind of gravity.
01:35:52.000So they could start launching shit from the moon.
01:35:54.000But, you know, you have to prove to me that you can survive in deep space for a long period of time and that people are going to be willing to take that chance.
01:36:03.000And there's another thing they've been concentrating on, this idea of a hundred-year spaceship, a spaceship that can exist and has enough fuel to run a hundred years.
01:36:25.000Yeah, but that would suck, like, being on the 100-year spaceship, and then, like, a couple years later, they made, like, the 200-year spaceship, and you'd be like, man, I want to be on the 200-year spaceship, so my kids could live longer, too.
01:37:08.000I always think when people think that maybe if this is the last generation or if the Mayan calendar is true or something like that, I feel pretty damn honored to be on the last part of the last generation.
01:37:16.000Again, it could just be the end of your life, man.
01:37:51.000I've only done it once or twice by accident, and because I saw a movie where a guy had a technique where in real life, every time he'd walk through a door, he would knock on the door and go, am I dreaming?
01:38:06.000Dr. Stephen LeBurge is the one, I read all these books about it quite by accident one day, but I started reading it.
01:38:12.000It was fascinating because he did it at Stanford and taught all these kids to do it to the point where they were so good at it, they were developing skills in their dreams, they could do it at will.
01:38:19.000It's basically like laying down in bed and saying, here's what I'm going to dream about tonight.
01:38:32.000But, you know, in it, it's like you start to realize how fascinating your brain is because you'll completely reproduce something to a T. Like, you're like, I fucking made that.
01:40:02.000And so then I opened up the door, and the door was like the edge of a cliff, and there was like clouds and shit, and I just started flying.
01:42:18.000You're untethered from your body, and you don't get any input from your body, so your mind is free to just explore any idea and manifest and visualize these ideas.
01:42:29.000Your imagination, when it's not harnessed or not being controlled by the body or being hampered down by the body, your imagination creates worlds.
01:42:49.000I mean, that seems to me to be some sort of a driving force in the universe.
01:42:54.000If you look at what the idea of imagination, the idea of creation, it manifests itself in a bunch of different things.
01:43:00.000It manifests itself in art, and it manifests itself in inventions, and it manifests things that improve your life and keep people healthy and keep people alive longer so they figure things out more.
01:43:36.000You know, like the Wright brothers, you know, they were working on a thing, but there was that guy over in England who had his thing he was working on, and they were racing each other.
01:43:44.000Perfect example was with you saying earlier that cell phones, if you had them in the past, people would think of them like you were a witch.
01:44:35.000Somebody made a thread about it on the Rogan board saying, could you imagine, this is what the guy said, if you lived in a world where everyone else had Down syndrome?
01:44:45.000He was like, that's what it must have been like to be Da Vinci.
01:44:48.000He was living in the 1400s creating helicopters and all these machines.
01:44:53.000Bisecting the human body and diagramming it to a T. And your neighbor's just some retard just like, what sayeth you, sir?
01:48:12.000I saw her maybe a couple years ago and she just married some guy and she's like, this is my new husband and this poor guy is just like a regular fella out of Texas like an accountant.
01:48:49.000What has been the weirdest thing about coming here and, you know, starting out, you know, doing all the, you know, working for the comedy store and doing all that shit and then eventually winding up on television and starting to make money?
01:49:00.000What's been the weirdest part about it to you?
01:49:03.000I think the weirdest part is, for me, it's like the distance put in between some of your peers that you started with.
01:49:11.000Because there's this idea that comedy is like freshman football.
01:49:14.000I should get my shot, but it's bullshit.
01:49:16.000Some guys just haven't reconciled with themselves that you're not good.
01:49:21.000There's a resentment among some guys that don't become successful about people who are.
01:49:24.000And it's really something sad, too, because it's one of these things where it's like, you know, we started off 10 years ago, a bunch of us together, me, Caparulo, Renizzisi.
01:50:38.000It was a fantastic scene, but the problem was all the headliners that were the main part of the movement in the 70s and the 80s, especially the 80s, all the guys who were literally the most talented comedians in the country, they stayed in Boston and they just burnt out.
01:50:54.000They did coke and they fucking partied and they all owed the IRS a million dollars and they were fucking savages.
01:51:01.000And they didn't write a lot of new material, but back then, in those days, I would put them up against any comic ever.
01:51:08.000That's what people have never heard before.
01:51:09.000I would put Don Gavin up against any comic I've ever seen ever as far as craftsmanship, skill, delivery, timing, confidence, passion, not even passion, I should say, confidence, Just his charisma on stage.
01:51:22.000His ability to just get you to laugh at it.
01:51:31.000When you're making several thousand dollars a week doing comedy in Boston, and all of a sudden you're going to go on the road, and you're going to make one-fourth that, and people are going to not come out to see you.
01:51:42.000You know, you're doing the punchline Atlanta.
01:52:05.000He kind of got out of the scene pretty quick, though.
01:52:07.000He got out of the scene with his MTV shit, and then with his first special, where he got all the comparisons to Hicks, where everybody was going, stealing Hicks material.
01:52:34.000you found this thing you know you created crafted this character and then all of a sudden you know he needed some material to go along with it so he just kind of copied whatever other people said that was cool and reworked it it was very obvious I see that happen with some guys especially who have been just for a few short years and they'll get an opportunity I'll see those guys do that.
01:53:29.000But there comes a point in time when you're watching dudes where you know they've seen someone before and you know he's just doing this and reworking it and he's changing it and making it this way.
01:53:38.000Right, because there's such a specific, like, you know, the thing, obviously with the Carlos thing, the Bill Cosby thing, it's like that.
01:54:27.000It's like, good luck doing it that way.
01:54:28.000The grossest thing about the Maren thing was that he thought that, the video that Brian and I made, he said, I think it should have been handled through the community.
01:56:12.000I wouldn't even mind going to see one lot.
01:56:15.000But if you ever look in the audience at NASCAR, there's people There's a lot of people out there, man, and there's a lot of them, and they're fucking dumb.
01:56:23.000You ever see those Sarah Palin book signing lines?
01:56:38.000We live in a society that makes it real easy for these pussies to get by, and they just turn out dumb and simple, and they want to be around other dumb, simple people.
01:56:47.000They want to fight everybody who disagrees.
01:56:49.000I'll tell you this on this land where my grandfather died fighting for this land.
01:57:16.000People's bodies are not meant for fucking four hours every day in traffic and bullshit and fucking stress at work because you have to pretend to be someone that you're not because you want to keep your job.
01:57:25.000So you have to listen to this fucking cuntbag, stupid, retard boss.
01:57:28.000The only reason he's in there is because he married the fucking boss's daughter.
01:57:31.000And holy shit, you're losing your marbles, bro.
01:57:33.000And then you start falling apart at the seams.
02:00:05.000And, you know, it's hard to tell, too.
02:00:07.000It's like, think about this, like, Obama, he's only been in two years, and it's like, you know, and he did make a good point on Jon Stewart's show.
02:00:12.000He's like, I didn't guarantee this shit overnight.
02:00:17.000Doesn't it seem like it's built on a foundation of unfixable shit?
02:00:22.000It seems like our stock market, this Taibbi article that I was reading about the stock market, when he was talking about how many companies are betting against BP, that there's this gigantic derivatives market where people get to gamble on whether or not someone defaults on their loans...
02:00:40.000And gamble whether or not a company can succeed and repay loans.
02:00:43.000And there's like this shadow economy that's based on all that.
02:01:06.000Somehow or another, they're getting away with it.
02:01:08.000Instead of fixing and putting in a totally new operating system, they're just putting up new paths and new parts of the registry and new pathways.
02:02:16.000Dude, whenever I do a thread on your message board with, like, speed tests, it's like, I'm all proud of my, you know, whatever, 30 megabyte download connection.
02:03:34.000You get tuned into it, and you become...
02:03:38.000One of the things about video games, it's like your fast twitch and your movements and everything, they become in tune with the parameters of the game.
02:03:45.000Well, they say that that teaches kids skills today.
02:03:47.000That is helping their motor skills, because I played that Grand Theft Auto, but I never stole cars.
02:03:58.000I was Lee Harvey Oswald and I would snipe people and I was really, really good at it and I would go sit on top of buildings and I would call you on the cell phone because you had the earpiece and the guy would be like, Hello?
02:06:15.000Weren't the graphics better on a computer?
02:06:17.000Yeah, the graphics are better, the resolution is better, but more importantly, when you're in front of the screen, you shouldn't be dealing with, if you really want to pay attention, more than 21 inches.
02:07:03.000The problem is once you've done Quake, once you've experienced this super high adrenaline rush of really high speed, 3D action, death matches, rocket launchers and shotguns and shit, that's all I'm about, bro.
02:07:16.000I don't want a game where I can walk regular speed.
02:07:20.000I want a game where I can rocket jump.
02:07:22.000I want to shoot a rocket at the ground and jump at the same time and go flying through the air.
02:09:40.000Yeah, and it just blew my mind and was like, okay, this game might not be too bad.
02:09:44.000I would play Grand Theft Auto probably like up to four hours a day and I felt like that was even a waste.
02:09:50.000It's so cool though to put these headphones on and click and enter into a world where there's a bunch of other people online and it's a gigantic massive arena so you can wander around all these different areas.
02:10:29.000It's more like first-person shooter mixed with a role-playing game, but it's one of these games that, because he likes Grand Theft Auto, it's just an open sandbox, meaning there is tons of different endings.
02:10:40.000You could either be a good person or a bad guy, but what's cool is just going into these towns, and it's really realistic, and you can go search through people's house.
02:10:48.000Why don't they do it with a mouse and keyboard?
02:10:49.000Because everyone's used to the controllers.
02:12:30.000I bet if you get the best Battlefield 1943 guy versus the best 1943 guy on a computer, I bet there's not going to be a huge difference to where you can go.
02:13:31.000When you're playing Quake, you don't get...
02:13:32.000opportunities dudes don't sit around and just wait to be shot in the head right right everybody's constantly moving oh yeah you have to be very active oh these guys move all the time you go to the airport and have the death match dude i go find a nest somewhere and i just let them run and i'll leave them i'll leave them we call it quake they call it camping like rocket jump up there was like certain crazy trick moves that you can do and one of them was this dude figured out how to double rocket jump right to the top of this tower he would throw a grenade down and then he would rocket jump on the grenade oh that's so he would make sure that the the grenade he timed the grenade
02:14:01.000he'd clink clink clink and then he would rocket jump as it went off and he would go sailing to the top of this tower was a trick move and then he would just jack people and win the map because you couldn't get him out of there and he would just peck you off of the rails I should go get this today, Quake.
02:15:25.000Just because you can have the best computer and then you get that game and it's awesome, next year you're going to have to do something about your computer if you want it to be as good as a console or whatever.
02:15:33.000So the console, what they've done is they've just kind of standardized everything and this is what you get and bam, you just set it up.
02:16:07.000I would go online, man, and I would play against dudes who are professionals.
02:16:10.000Like, every now and then, dudes who are real professional players would be in these rooms, and you'd go one-on-one deathmatch against these guys and just get raped.
02:20:10.000Quake has been around for a long time.
02:20:13.000Quake Live is just their way of giving back to the community and making people excited about their game and making it so that it's a cross-platform thing that they can do where it's web-based so they can work on their shit while they develop new games.
02:20:27.000They work on their ability to make them for the web.
02:21:24.000Just a very cool, and there was no conservative.
02:21:27.000There's some of the libertarians, which I feel bad for real libertarians, the one that the teabaggers are starting to extract their message, which they're nothing about.
02:21:35.000Real libertarians aren't like that at all.
02:21:36.000But there's some real libertarians out there and some cool guys that talk politics.
02:21:40.000There's some teabaggers that are real libertarians.
02:22:29.000And that's the only way to make change, if somebody finally does something and says, fuck this, fuck voting right or wrong, or fuck voting, I'm voting how I feel instead of voting.
02:22:38.000Because it's like they were saying when Obama was running, it's like, I liked Ron Paul a lot.
02:23:11.000These are not statements or catchphrases.
02:23:13.000He'll tell you honestly, and it's like, wow, you'll never get in office because nobody will ever have the balls to pull the trigger on you.
02:23:19.000It's a real wake-up call whenever there's any political campaigning.
02:23:22.000Whenever you look at that crazy lady in Arizona, what is the woman's name?
02:24:42.000Everyone's going to be touching their nose, and they're all going to be talking, and they're all going to be very excited, and there's going to be a lot of fist pumps and a lot of fucking high fives.
02:24:51.000And all of a sudden, I looked around, and it was like the opening scene in Blade, where the blood started spraying from the ceiling, and the guy's confused.
02:27:22.000Go to the supermarket Get a big fat steak Pick up some fucking charcoal Come home Light that bitch Kick back Watch a little of the fucking high def TV Watch some HD net fights and shit Have a cold beer out of your refrigerator It's getting better It's just getting better and better It's the greatest time to be alive ever It really is And every day you can say that And so when people say like I won't bring kids into this world Shut up, faggot Shut your mouth.
02:27:47.000Would you rather bring them in the fucking King Arthur day and die of smallpox?
02:30:33.000But I think it's weird how if you look at comics in general, there's a big part of these comics that they do end up losing their minds.
02:30:42.000They do end up going through huge things of depression and getting into hardcore drugs.
02:30:49.000Well, it's a crazy ride, man, the ride of needing to constantly be up and on that stage and constantly be pumping it out and turning it on for people.
02:30:58.000It's a very delicate balance, and you have to balance out your ego with your imagination, with your desire to please people, with your desire to make yourself – You have to figure out what the fuck you're doing this for, why you're doing it.
02:31:10.000You have to figure out why bits aren't working.
02:31:13.000You've got to figure out why they're not liking you.
02:31:17.000It's a lot of stress for a lot of people, and some of them just can't handle it after a while.
02:31:21.000The very need for it in the first place usually...
02:31:24.000it usually signifies something went wrong in their childhood oh absolutely i would say that yeah i would say that that you know my dad didn't play ball with me that's why i'm a comedian yeah that's exactly why i need the attention of people you know everybody right all of us and have you ever met anybody that's any good that isn't like that yeah or that had a great upbringing and it's like yeah childhood was great and it's one of the reasons why you know we can identify with each other It's one of the reasons why we appreciate each other and respect each other in a way that, like even when I was talking about Marc Maron earlier, I like Marc.
02:31:55.000But if I saw Marc in Germany, if I was going through the airport in Germany and all of a sudden I ran into Marc, I'd be genuinely happy to see him.
02:35:01.000They do They're just big supporters of the arts They super appreciate good comedy too Because Hicks had like a big base in Austin There's a lot of really good local comics in Austin It's a lot of really smart artists Yeah, they have a scene Sixth Street They definitely have a kick-ass scene there Do you do Cap City?
02:39:02.000The difference between him and Minstelia was so evident.
02:39:05.000I'm glad that was pointed out, too, because even when he was on your show, he was like, look, I am not him, and I do not deserve to be put into that category.
02:39:17.000What happened with Minstilium 2 was this crazy thing where he would go on in front of guys and do their material.
02:39:22.000Do you remember when he did that Loco thing and he went in front of Johnny Sanchez?
02:39:27.000He did his closing bit before he brought him up.
02:39:29.000He would do that to people all the time.
02:39:31.000He would just gank shit and do it in front of you.
02:39:34.000And it was like an in-your-face, look what I just got away with.
02:39:36.000It was like some sort of badass thing.
02:40:35.000If it wasn't for Brian and Brian's editing skills, it would have never even hit the air.
02:40:39.000I didn't even know he was in the room when it happened.
02:40:41.000You know what's crazy is before that even happened, he knew who I was and hated me because I had earlier made this other Carlos Mencia video that was not successful at all.
02:40:51.000But I had made this video, and I remember he walked past me, stopped right next to me, looked at me, and chicken-necked me.
02:40:57.000And that was something only bullies did in elementary school.
02:41:00.000When you go up to somebody and you flinch your face right into their face, like, woo, you know, like that.
02:42:38.000If you're a nice person, I'm going to be so nice to you.
02:42:41.000If you're a nice guy, I'm fucking for sure nice back.
02:42:44.000But if you're a dickhead to me, I'm going to be a bigger dick back.
02:42:46.000Yeah, and with that guy it wasn't even a matter of a bullying thing was like we have a fucking criminal in our midst Yeah, and it's being supported by all the substructure It's being supported by all the club managers and supported by the the agents who are profiting off this guy running around stealing people shit It's not like one guy like a Robin Williams who like occasionally he'll blurt out someone's material We're talking about a guy who's just straight ganking people, right?
02:43:10.000It was a totally different sort of a situation.
02:43:12.000If you weren't there all the time like I was and you were, you wouldn't see how horrible it was.
02:43:18.000It was the worst atmosphere for creativity you could ever imagine, where everyone was worried and we used to have to light the fucking light up when the dude walked into the room.
02:44:57.000And then at the end, the crazy thing was, after I got off stage, it was like a half an hour berating him and just exposing what he does and what's wrong with what he does.
02:46:13.000What they should have done is they should have stepped in and even if they wanted to keep me banned because I was filming there and they don't want me filming, that's fine.
02:46:19.000But you've got to make sure you don't have him headlined the next weekend and you don't get on stage and say, this is my guy.
02:46:25.000I'm with Carlos, which is what he did.
02:46:29.000What they did was support the worst vampire in the business and let everybody feel helpless and let everybody know that even though you are successful and you do have things going on, you can still get your life fucked with by somebody who's more successful.
02:46:42.000And you can see that there are people that really do try to sabotage your career if you expose someone for being a piece of shit and a thief.
02:46:52.000Opposition of what this art form is supposed to be all about, which is you creating and forming your own shit and bringing it out on stage and people appreciating your work.
02:47:03.000I'm still friends with my agent at the time.
02:47:07.000I don't even want to mention his name because he's a good guy.
02:47:08.000He fucked up and he got in a bad situation and they made him choose.
02:47:12.000The agency made him choose between Carlos and me.
02:47:14.000And they only had me for stand-up comedy.
02:47:16.000They had him for stand-up comedy and television and film.
02:47:18.000And so they were making more money off of him than I was, and they wanted me to either apologize to him or they were going to have to let me go.
02:48:15.000Cap City Comedy Club this weekend, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for me and for Joey Diaz and for Little Esther.
02:48:21.000And if you want to catch Freddie Lockhart, he will be at the world-famous comedy store this weekend, Friday and Saturday night.
02:48:26.000Around 10 o'clock, you can call, find out what's up, find out who the other lineup is, see if you want to catch yourself some Al Madrigal, see if you want to see some John Caparulo lay it down.