The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #6 - Brian Redban

00:00:00.000 *Sounds of the music* *Sounds of the music* *Sounds of the music* *Sounds of the music* day" "Ahhh" "Ahhh" "Ahhh" "Ahhh" "Ahhh" "Ahhh"

00:00:45.000 I like this.

00:00:46.000 So we can just put that music on.

00:00:48.000 Let's do it.

00:00:48.000 Right now.

00:00:49.000 Right now, Brian.

00:00:51.000 Let's make it happen.

00:00:53.000 Here we go.

00:00:55.000 We're here.

00:01:04.000 Ladies and gentlemen, we're live.

00:01:05.000 We've done it faster this time than ever.

00:01:07.000 We're getting better at it.

00:01:09.000 Less fuck-ups, less hiccups. 0.97

00:01:11.000 Live from the compound. 0.97

00:01:14.000 We started a little bit late today, but it was all my fault.

00:01:17.000 Brian was rocked and locked and loaded this time. 0.99

00:01:20.000 I just fucked up. 0.99

00:01:21.000 I was tired because I had to do the Kevin and Bean show this morning and I had to get up early because I have to leave my house. 0.99

00:01:28.000 It's kind of far from them. 0.99

00:01:30.000 What the fuck, people? 1.00

00:01:31.000 What's going down, bitches? 1.00

00:01:33.000 Happy New Year. 1.00

00:01:35.000 Brian is all in a tizzy about the goddamn iPad. 1.00

00:01:41.000 And me, I Twittered that I don't need an iPad because I'm a fucking man and I can carry a goddamn backpack with a laptop and I don't complain like a little bitch. 1.00

00:01:50.000 And this seems like... 1.00

00:01:51.000 It's got less shit than a laptop. 1.00

00:01:54.000 If you're going to go on an airplane or somewhere, you want a fucking laptop. 1.00

00:01:58.000 You want to be able to get on a computer. 0.99

00:02:00.000 You want to be able to send someone a real goddamn email and attach something to it and send a real link. 0.96

00:02:05.000 Easy. 0.97

00:02:05.000 Copy and paste. 0.97

00:02:06.000 Old school. 1.00

00:02:07.000 You want some nutty fucking finger things you have to... 1.00

00:02:11.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:02:11.000 I want a fucking laptop and it's not heavy. 1.00

00:02:14.000 I can take this goddamn thing anywhere. 1.00

00:02:16.000 They're so small now. 0.99

00:02:17.000 I mean, the thin and the light.

00:02:19.000 This is the 17-inch MacBook.

00:02:24.000 This thing is not heavy.

00:02:25.000 You put it in a backpack, you're fine. 1.00

00:02:27.000 I don't need a fucking iPad, Brian! 0.99

00:02:29.000 Well, see, I think that's the problem with... 0.99

00:02:32.000 Can everyone hear us okay before we start getting really into it?

00:02:36.000 Yeah, is the microphone bad?

00:02:38.000 We are not a well-polished machine, ladies and gentlemen.

00:02:41.000 Yeah, no.

00:02:42.000 Okay, where's the broadcaster?

00:02:44.000 Does anybody have a hard time?

00:02:45.000 Here, I'll see if we can hear ourselves.

00:02:51.000 If this was like real TV, we'd be fired.

00:02:54.000 I'll see if we can hear ourselves.

00:02:56.000 Are we on TV? I'll see if we can hear ourselves.

00:02:58.000 Yeah, we're good.

00:02:59.000 Yeah, we're good.

00:03:00.000 Okay, so here's the thing about the whole tablet.

00:03:04.000 Now, the problem with the whole thing is that Steve Jobs pretty much Just bash netbooks at the beginning of the thing.

00:03:11.000 So it really set a nerve with a lot of people.

00:03:14.000 Meaning people are like, what?

00:03:15.000 Netbooks better?

00:03:16.000 So he does this in his speech?

00:03:18.000 In his speech.

00:03:18.000 I'm not that much of a fanboy.

00:03:20.000 I'm not going to sit and watch you strut around and talk about your fucking computer. 0.99

00:03:24.000 I enjoy your stuff. 1.00

00:03:26.000 I think your iPhone is a goddamn work of art. 0.99

00:03:29.000 Amazing. 0.99

00:03:29.000 If Verizon had it, it would be the greatest phone in the history of the universe. 0.99

00:03:33.000 But I can't use it as a phone.

00:03:35.000 I use it to me.

00:03:36.000 I carry two phones. 1.00

00:03:37.000 I carry a BlackBerry and Verizon that's a fucking phone. 0.99

00:03:40.000 I can call people. 1.00

00:03:41.000 It sucks. 0.97

00:03:42.000 It's a terrible phone. 1.00

00:03:43.000 It's like a drunk iPhone.

00:03:45.000 Like when you compare the two of them together, there's no comparison.

00:03:48.000 Like sometimes, say if I call you and I have a little picture for your face when I call you and I go to call somebody else, when I start calling somebody else, your picture will show up and then it'll change.

00:04:00.000 So it's like the things like, oh, who am I calling? 0.88

00:04:02.000 It's like it's dumb. 1.00

00:04:03.000 It's a dumb phone. 0.99

00:04:05.000 It's like it does what you want to, But it takes a couple extra seconds and it stumbles. 0.99

00:04:10.000 The Storm 2. Yeah, the Storm 2. The screen is awesome.

00:04:14.000 It's a nice big-ass screen and I like that.

00:04:17.000 And the touch screen is not too bad.

00:04:18.000 It's pretty easy to type.

00:04:20.000 Even this way in landscape mode, it's good.

00:04:24.000 It's weird.

00:04:25.000 It gives you a little feedback, which really isn't necessary, but it's not bad.

00:04:28.000 And as a phone, it's great.

00:04:30.000 But compared to the iPhone, just getting on the web is just like you're doing it in an old wooden car. 1.00

00:04:36.000 It's just so clunky and stupid. 1.00

00:04:38.000 Zoom. 1.00

00:04:39.000 Okay, scroll this way.

00:04:41.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:04:42.000 Really?

00:04:43.000 What you're saying is the best part about the iPhone is probably the internet and the worst part is awesome.

00:04:48.000 The worst part is AT&T. The phone, clearly.

00:04:50.000 I don't mind making calls on it.

00:04:52.000 Making calls on it is badass.

00:04:54.000 AT&T is just terrible.

00:04:57.000 It might be better in somebody's town, you know, if they got more AT&T towers, more GSM towers.

00:05:03.000 So they took the best part of the iPhone and made it a little bit bigger.

00:05:08.000 Yeah!

00:05:09.000 And they got rid of, like, what, no camera? 0.99

00:05:11.000 What the fuck? 0.98

00:05:12.000 Well, here's the whole thing about this. 1.00

00:05:13.000 What I'm thinking now is I'm thinking, alright, I like my iPhone, but I only use it because once in a while I want something small to surf the net and do basic shit with. 0.75

00:05:21.000 Alright, listen to this. 0.83

00:05:22.000 Say you're in a Starbucks and some dude comes in and starts spraying the place.

00:05:26.000 Right.

00:05:26.000 Okay?

00:05:27.000 And you want to be taking video.

00:05:28.000 Right.

00:05:29.000 And you're on your little iPad thinking you're a genius sipping on your laptop.

00:05:33.000 But you have two cameras in your pocket. 1.00

00:05:34.000 You don't have shit. 1.00

00:05:35.000 You're not me. 1.00

00:05:36.000 You're just a regular dude who just has an iPad.

00:05:39.000 You have your digital camera.

00:05:40.000 He just has an iPad and a Blackberry because he's not sold on Apple.

00:05:44.000 Blackberry has video?

00:05:44.000 And he's online.

00:05:45.000 He's online right there.

00:05:46.000 And he wants to get online with his iPad and take video and stream it to Ustream if it's happening. 1.00

00:05:52.000 And he can't do it because the iPad is a piece of shit. 0.99

00:05:54.000 It doesn't have a camera. 1.00

00:05:57.000 That's logic!

00:05:58.000 You can't argue with that!

00:05:59.000 Here's my argument.

00:06:00.000 He said during the speech that it has a port that is going to have accessories to open it up to the universe of accessories.

00:06:08.000 That's all well and done.

00:06:09.000 Imagine having a nice HD camera hooked up to the bottom of it. 1.00

00:06:13.000 You just happen to be streaming through Starbucks like a fucking creep. 0.98

00:06:15.000 You can't even do it on the DL. Everybody's going to know. 1.00

00:06:18.000 You're going to be out there scanning people with your little webcam.

00:06:21.000 No, what if it snapped on the front?

00:06:22.000 So you're on a webcam at Starbucks?

00:06:24.000 Here, buddy, I'm at Starbucks.

00:06:25.000 Well, here's the thing.

00:06:27.000 It's lame enough to have a laptop at Starbucks.

00:06:29.000 It has a thing that already has attachments for, like a card reader.

00:06:33.000 Next week, we're going to be at Starbucks.

00:06:35.000 No, we're going to be at the Coffee Bean.

00:06:38.000 No, but that's what I'm saying.

00:06:39.000 It doesn't have a camera, but yet it has an attachment that he said will have accessories, like microphones and cameras and card readers. 1.00

00:06:45.000 Put a camera on the fucking thing, bitch. 1.00

00:06:47.000 You want it to be super special? 1.00

00:06:48.000 You want it to be the bomb?

00:06:49.000 I think they're trying to keep it down price-wise under $500.

00:06:53.000 Because here's the thing, if you're going to buy a book reader right now, you're on Amazon.com, you're looking at the Kindle, the big Kindle, that's $10 cheaper than this thing.

00:07:01.000 That makes a lot of sense, actually.

00:07:04.000 It's backlit.

00:07:05.000 I have a Sony e-reader, but I read in bed.

00:07:08.000 So when my girlfriend's sleeping, I want to read.

00:07:11.000 I can't.

00:07:11.000 I have to have a light on.

00:07:12.000 And it can't even just be a dim light.

00:07:14.000 It has to be a bright light for me to read it. 0.54

00:07:16.000 I got a little clip-on sucker.

00:07:18.000 Those are great.

00:07:19.000 The person can sleep right next to you.

00:07:21.000 Especially if you've got a Kindle with a leather cover.

00:07:23.000 You put the light here, bam!

00:07:25.000 You can read right next to them.

00:07:26.000 So this thing would be great for...

00:07:27.000 That right there is married dudes talking. 1.00

00:07:31.000 You can read right next to them in bed. 0.99

00:07:33.000 When I was single, I'd be like, well, I guess you can't fucking sleep. 0.98

00:07:36.000 You know? 0.98

00:07:37.000 Oh, I can't sleep while you're reading a book.

00:07:39.000 Well, maybe the couch would be a better place for you to sleep.

00:07:41.000 Totally. 1.00

00:07:42.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:07:43.000 Totally. 1.00

00:07:45.000 So that's like $10 more.

00:07:46.000 Wouldn't you get that if you didn't have one already?

00:07:48.000 If you were getting a book reader, would you get $10 more?

00:07:50.000 Would you pay for the iTablet?

00:07:51.000 That's the best argument I've ever heard.

00:07:53.000 If I had to choose between the Kindle and the iPad, I would for sure take the iPad.

00:07:57.000 And now the argument on the other side is...

00:07:59.000 $10?

00:08:00.000 Yeah, the argument on the other side is e-ink is less stressful on the eyes.

00:08:04.000 But here's what I'm thinking.

00:08:05.000 Is that true?

00:08:06.000 It might be something to sell that technology, but here's what I'm thinking.

00:08:10.000 I'm on the computer 11 hours a day, 10 hours a day.

00:08:12.000 I'm doing 99% reading.

00:08:15.000 And I've never gone, oh, this hurts my face.

00:08:18.000 It wasn't a while.

00:08:19.000 No, but I have noticed that I think, well, it could be also because I'm getting older, but my eyesight is not as good.

00:08:24.000 Oh, yeah, mine too.

00:08:25.000 Like, reading, like, say if I have to read a vitamin bottle, it tells me, you know, how many you're supposed to take.

00:08:29.000 Right. 1.00

00:08:29.000 I have, I struggle with that shit. 1.00

00:08:31.000 Right. 1.00

00:08:32.000 You know, I have to try to focus.

00:08:34.000 It's not what it used to be.

00:08:35.000 So I don't read more than like an hour, two hours of my e-book anyways a day.

00:08:39.000 And so I'm thinking, if I'm on the computer 12 hours already a day, and I use two hours of that, I don't think it's going to be.

00:08:45.000 Edward Cotflappo says, everything Apple makes is perfect, Steve Jobs is God, and Bill Gates is a Nazi.

00:08:53.000 Wow.

00:08:53.000 That's obviously not him.

00:08:55.000 Those are strong words.

00:08:56.000 Those are strong words.

00:08:58.000 Do you think that's the real Flappo?

00:08:59.000 Mm-hmm.

00:09:00.000 The real Flappo is one of the craziest, if you don't know who he is, one of the craziest characters on the internet. 0.99

00:09:05.000 He's this nutty dude from England who likes to get fucked up all day. 1.00

00:09:08.000 And he's got a lot of money so he doesn't have to work. 1.00

00:09:11.000 So the dude just gets online and just trolls people and fucks with them all day. 0.96

00:09:15.000 He's really hilarious. 1.00

00:09:17.000 He's crazy.

00:09:18.000 You can find him at your website, JoeRodan.net on the forums.

00:09:21.000 Just look for Flappo.

00:09:22.000 And he just picks fights with people.

00:09:23.000 He finds them and he just insults them over and over again. 1.00

00:09:26.000 And everybody says, this guy's an asshole, this guy's an asshole. 1.00

00:09:29.000 Yeah, but there's something about it that's so endearing. 1.00

00:09:33.000 I mean, he's really doing it for entertainment.

00:09:35.000 He's a character.

00:09:37.000 He's like an internet character that's running through this show we're doing.

00:09:42.000 And the show is the website, the forums.

00:09:44.000 And he's like this character.

00:09:45.000 He's like one of the...

00:09:47.000 He won't meet us either.

00:09:49.000 Won't meet us.

00:09:50.000 He's kind of a shut-in, but I understand that. 0.96

00:09:53.000 I mean, if you're some crazy dude who just stays on the internet all day, I wouldn't even care what he looks like. 0.89

00:09:59.000 I mean, he could be totally trolling with his whole story. 0.95

00:10:01.000 I don't care.

00:10:02.000 I just think he's an interesting dude.

00:10:03.000 It'd be nice to say hi.

00:10:05.000 But he doesn't want us to take pictures of him and put it online, because then everybody will have evidence.

00:10:09.000 They'll have weapons and ammunition to go against him in his internet wars.

00:10:13.000 But there's supposedly one picture of him. 0.99

00:10:15.000 Yeah, but who the fuck knows? 0.98

00:10:16.000 Do you think that's real? 0.98

00:10:17.000 Because if not, that's a great photo.

00:10:19.000 He's smiling and everything.

00:10:20.000 Yeah, but he's never met anybody.

00:10:22.000 How do we know, you know?

00:10:23.000 Right, it could just be a boyfriend.

00:10:24.000 It could be a girl.

00:10:25.000 It could be one of your ex-girlfriends.

00:10:27.000 Oh, yeah. 0.95

00:10:28.000 Who the hell knows?

00:10:29.000 Yeah.

00:10:30.000 We have no idea it's a guy.

00:10:31.000 No idea.

00:10:32.000 That's the best thing about the internet, though.

00:10:33.000 The best is meeting people that are cool.

00:10:35.000 I have so many friends.

00:10:36.000 You are one of them I met on the internet.

00:10:38.000 But there's so many people that we've met from your message board and other places.

00:10:42.000 Seems like a crazy thing to say.

00:10:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:10:44.000 It seems like you're an idiot. 1.00

00:10:45.000 What are you doing? 1.00

00:10:45.000 Meeting fucking some people from your message board? 1.00

00:10:49.000 But, you know, the bottom line is for real. 0.99

00:10:51.000 It's like you're meeting people all over the country.

00:10:53.000 Anyone when you're doing stand-up.

00:10:54.000 What difference does it make if you meet them online first?

00:10:57.000 Wouldn't that be smarter?

00:10:59.000 You know?

00:10:59.000 Yeah.

00:11:00.000 The only way to interact with people is...

00:11:02.000 I mean, the internet is the greatest for that.

00:11:06.000 There's people that could never have relationships, that didn't have any friends, that had nothing going on in their real life, but they developed whole internet worlds, man.

00:11:16.000 Quake player buddies of mine, when I was seriously addicted to playing Quake, there's dudes that lived their whole life on the internet.

00:11:23.000 And that's where all their friendships came from.

00:11:25.000 And you get to know people like they're in...

00:11:28.000 You know, it's...

00:11:30.000 It's a little more...

00:11:31.000 It sounds crazy when saying that you meet people from the internet, but it's really probably pretty intelligent.

00:11:38.000 Girls that use dating sites, they used to be thought of as losers. 1.00

00:11:42.000 You know, you'd hear about, like, oh, her sister, she's on fucking Match.com or whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

00:11:47.000 Like, oh, poor girl, what the fuck? 0.99

00:11:49.000 Then you think about being a chick. 1.00

00:11:50.000 All the fucking scumbags out there. 1.00

00:11:52.000 Wouldn't you want to, like, listen to them talk for a while first? 1.00

00:11:55.000 Like, see what nutty shit they want to say in their email? 0.99

00:11:58.000 See how they say your and your? 1.00

00:12:01.000 Do you use that apostrophe, you fucking cretin? 1.00

00:12:03.000 You cave person? 1.00

00:12:05.000 You know what I mean?

00:12:08.000 It's funny, those dating sites, how many different ones there are.

00:12:11.000 Like, JDate is for Jewish people. 1.00

00:12:13.000 They have one for people that just have herpes. 0.85

00:12:15.000 I forget the name of it.

00:12:17.000 Nice.

00:12:17.000 They have one for, like, anything you could possibly want.

00:12:20.000 All girls who suck Magic Johnson's dick. 1.00

00:12:24.000 That's funny. 1.00

00:12:28.000 That's funny.

00:12:29.000 Hey, listen to this guy.

00:12:31.000 This guy says, Joe, ever heard about reverse speech?

00:12:34.000 Everything you say says something in reverse. 1.00

00:12:36.000 Now, ordinarily, I would say, that's retarded bullshit. 1.00

00:12:40.000 But, I smoked some marijuana right before we did this broadcast, and I'm like, man, who the hell knows? 1.00

00:12:46.000 Maybe.

00:12:46.000 Maybe we just don't know that in language, you can reverse it, and it can show true intention.

00:12:52.000 Is that possible?

00:12:53.000 By the way, your intonations and...

00:12:55.000 No.

00:12:56.000 I mean, I don't think it is, but...

00:12:58.000 Maybe it is. 0.98

00:12:59.000 What the fuck do I know? 0.99

00:13:01.000 Well, you know, things that are possible are so nutty. 0.99

00:13:03.000 You know, why do you think that, I mean, that could be just some weird side effect of speech that when you reverse things it says the opposite of what the person, or what the person really means is possible. 0.99

00:13:13.000 Shit. 1.00

00:13:13.000 Who the fuck knows? 1.00

00:13:14.000 The world is so nutty as it is, the fact that we're on this sphere That hovers around this gigantic nuclear explosion and it flies to the galaxy. 0.99

00:13:24.000 But everybody wants to talk about the cast of Jersey Shore renegotiating their deal.

00:13:28.000 I mean, that's like the number one conversation.

00:13:31.000 Or how many more millions are they going to give Conan O'Brien at Fox? 0.99

00:13:35.000 Or how many more chicks did Tiger Woods fuck? 1.00

00:13:38.000 Is his wife going to get back together with him? 1.00

00:13:40.000 It's like we get so caught up in nonsense.

00:13:43.000 And I've been trying to figure that out more and more as I get older, like what it is.

00:13:48.000 Because it's not just, I say, you know, people.

00:13:51.000 I say we. 1.00

00:13:52.000 I get caught up in that stupid shit too. 1.00

00:13:53.000 I was wondering what was going to happen to John when he left Kate because he wasn't making any money anymore. 1.00

00:13:58.000 And all of a sudden he has to pay mad alimony, you know, because I think they probably negotiated that shit when he was on the show and he was making good money. 0.93

00:14:05.000 But they kicked him off that show and then they're going to sue him. 0.99

00:14:08.000 And the poor dude, you know, I mean, he just fell apart in front of the whole world. 1.00

00:14:13.000 First, he fell apart in front of the whole world because he was married to that chick who was just treating him like shit. 1.00

00:14:18.000 Like, you would watch that show and be like, wow, that bitch is harsh. 1.00

00:14:22.000 But then you realize, god damn, could you imagine having eight kids with that weak dude? 1.00

00:14:27.000 That guy's such a bitch. 1.00

00:14:29.000 You would be like, ugh, ha! 1.00

00:14:31.000 I can't count on this motherfucker! 1.00

00:14:32.000 Come on! 1.00

00:14:33.000 Get up!

00:14:33.000 You have to work!

00:14:34.000 Come on! 0.99

00:14:36.000 Just lazy and soft and dull-minded. 0.80

00:14:39.000 But he got on TV, and when he got on TV, I think girls just started saying, You shouldn't take that from him. 1.00

00:14:45.000 She's a bitch. 1.00

00:14:46.000 She doesn't appreciate you. 1.00

00:14:47.000 I see you on that show.

00:14:48.000 I think you're so hot.

00:14:49.000 I think you're so cool.

00:14:50.000 Next thing you know, he's in there. 0.99

00:14:52.000 Oh shit, I'm hot and cool. 1.00

00:14:54.000 Oh shit! 1.00

00:14:55.000 He didn't realize that he himself had been tricked by fame. 1.00

00:14:58.000 Just like those poor girls that fucked him. 1.00

00:15:00.000 That's how powerful fame is. 1.00

00:15:02.000 Fame tricks even the person that has the fame.

00:15:05.000 The worst is that tequila girl. 1.00

00:15:07.000 Oh, she's the best!

00:15:08.000 Every time I hear about her, I just get sick to my stomach. 0.98

00:15:12.000 I'm just waiting for the porn. 0.99

00:15:13.000 She's trying to sell her baby right now. 1.00

00:15:14.000 Listen, that's all just to get you to pay attention. 0.66

00:15:18.000 She's a crafty little wench. 1.00

00:15:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:22.000 She's going to do a porn. 1.00

00:15:23.000 I would imagine. 0.95

00:15:24.000 I think she already has.

00:15:25.000 I remember having one.

00:15:26.000 It's amazing when they just totally orchestrate sex tapes.

00:15:31.000 Is there any doubt that the Kim Kardashian sex tape, have you ever watched it? 0.87

00:15:35.000 Yeah.

00:15:36.000 Yeah, there's different cameras.

00:15:37.000 Yeah.

00:15:38.000 I mean, at one point in time...

00:15:39.000 Is there really different cameras?

00:15:40.000 Yes, yes, there's different angles, it's edited.

00:15:42.000 Oh, I didn't even check that.

00:15:43.000 I knew it was edited, but I thought the company did it, the production company.

00:15:46.000 Dude, dude, dude, dude.

00:15:47.000 And she keeps her bra on, which is very disturbing. 0.99

00:15:49.000 Let them titties free! 1.00

00:15:51.000 Let them titties free! 1.00

00:15:53.000 You don't like the way they look? 0.98

00:15:54.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:15:57.000 Just let them free. 1.00

00:15:58.000 She probably doesn't like her nipples. 1.00

00:16:00.000 She looks like she's probably got some big ones. 0.99

00:16:02.000 What do you think?

00:16:02.000 You gotta guess?

00:16:03.000 Oh, definitely.

00:16:04.000 There must be pictures. 0.97

00:16:04.000 Hawaiian Punch Cam nipples. 0.97

00:16:05.000 Is there pictures of her nipples out there somewhere? 1.00

00:16:07.000 There has to be. 0.99

00:16:07.000 I didn't watch her whole video. 0.99

00:16:08.000 I didn't watch a few seconds.

00:16:10.000 I just skipped right to the part.

00:16:11.000 I don't take much time to beat off. 1.00

00:16:12.000 And I have a very hard time beating off the black-eyed fucking white girls. 1.00

00:16:16.000 Because I don't feel like that's me. 1.00

00:16:19.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:20.000 How much fantasy can I have? 1.00

00:16:22.000 Oh yeah, suck my black dick. 1.00

00:16:23.000 What? 1.00

00:16:24.000 You know, that's not me.

00:16:25.000 I just beat off in front of my new kitten for the first time today.

00:16:29.000 Nice.

00:16:29.000 Today.

00:16:30.000 Like how much in front of him?

00:16:32.000 Like how far away?

00:16:32.000 Well, I was beating off and the cat jumped right up on my laptop.

00:16:35.000 And I'm like, uh-oh.

00:16:36.000 Well, I guess you're going to see it eventually.

00:16:37.000 So there it is.

00:16:38.000 You feel like...

00:16:43.000 I really hope my grandparents find out later that your ancestors come back as animals or something and they can watch you.

00:16:52.000 What are you doing? 1.00

00:16:54.000 As long as I can't talk, deal with it, bitch. 1.00

00:16:56.000 As long as you can't talk. 1.00

00:16:58.000 Remember Joey's joke about checking off in front of the cat?

00:17:01.000 He's about to come and the cat's doing this.

00:17:06.000 Move, Gato! 1.00

00:17:07.000 Move, Gato! 1.00

00:17:09.000 It's weird how cats used to be worshipped back in the days.

00:17:13.000 Yeah, what do you think that's all about?

00:17:14.000 And what if there's something to a cat that we just don't know and was lost in transition?

00:17:17.000 No one ever wrote it down like, oh, by the way, if you look at the cat's eyes every day at midnight, you can talk to...

00:17:23.000 Well, you know what trips me out about Egyptians worshipping cats? 1.00

00:17:27.000 It's like they were so good at making things.

00:17:29.000 I wonder what they were really like.

00:17:31.000 Because we don't really have any idea about their culture.

00:17:34.000 Translating their language over to English, it's all so tricky in the hieroglyphs.

00:17:39.000 They don't really know how far back their history goes.

00:17:43.000 Like John Anthony West, that guy thinks that their history goes back like 30,000 years.

00:17:47.000 And he even has hieroglyphs that prove it.

00:17:50.000 But they were so smart when it came to constructing things.

00:17:53.000 I wonder what they were like socially.

00:17:56.000 Yeah.

00:17:57.000 Just like sitting around talking to them?

00:17:59.000 Yeah.

00:18:01.000 You know, it's really kind of crazy when you think about what those people pulled off.

00:18:05.000 And that was like, supposedly, 22,500 years before Christ, before zero.

00:18:12.000 That's incredible.

00:18:14.000 And they were worshipping cats.

00:18:15.000 Maybe they know something.

00:18:17.000 Yeah, there's something with cats, maybe. 0.99

00:18:18.000 How fucking smart were they? 0.98

00:18:20.000 I mean, I would like to know how smart they were. 1.00

00:18:21.000 Maybe they were just completely retarded and just really know how to build things. 1.00

00:18:25.000 And they were just... 0.96

00:18:26.000 Right. 0.99

00:18:26.000 And that's why their culture just sucked. 0.99

00:18:28.000 But I don't think so, because people like, I think Socrates and, no, Herodotus. 0.65

00:18:34.000 Herodotus went over from...

00:18:36.000 Uh-oh.

00:18:39.000 No, there's the...

00:18:41.000 There's the...

00:18:42.000 Yeah.

00:18:42.000 Is that right?

00:18:43.000 We're just charged in here.

00:18:44.000 Well, this cat is very emotional, man.

00:18:47.000 Sometimes...

00:18:48.000 Come here, Spaz. 0.52

00:18:49.000 She would get mad because we got another cat. 0.95

00:18:51.000 Yeah, I'm going through here right now. 1.00

00:18:52.000 And she started peeing on shit. 1.00

00:18:53.000 Speaking of, the other cat just walks in right when you said that. 1.00

00:18:56.000 Oliver, come here, buddy.

00:18:58.000 Oliver's cool.

00:18:59.000 I like him.

00:19:00.000 He's a cool little dude.

00:19:01.000 I like cats.

00:19:02.000 You know why I like cats?

00:19:04.000 Because I'm not starving to death.

00:19:05.000 That's why I don't understand. 0.98

00:19:06.000 Like, when people are living in Egypt, I mean, how fucking smart were they? 1.00

00:19:10.000 They must have had a pretty sophisticated culture because they were really into keeping... 0.94

00:19:16.000 They worshiped.

00:19:17.000 Dogs are going to protect your house. 1.00

00:19:19.000 Cats ain't doing shit. 0.99

00:19:21.000 You rub them, that's all you get. 0.99

00:19:23.000 You get, I purr, and I like you rubbing me.

00:19:25.000 That's all it is.

00:19:26.000 So they were smart enough to build pyramids, but yet they worshipped cats.

00:19:29.000 Because there's something to the cat that we don't know about.

00:19:31.000 Spaz, is there something to cats?

00:19:33.000 You ever see a cat when the light hits their eyes in a certain way and it looks like a hologram or something going on in their eyes? 0.99

00:19:39.000 That shit's weird. 1.00

00:19:40.000 Well, their eyesight is insane. 1.00

00:19:42.000 Their eyesight is some insane amount better than ours.

00:19:45.000 Is it?

00:19:45.000 Oh, yeah.

00:19:46.000 Their eyesight is incredible.

00:19:47.000 Oh, and it's dark and stuff.

00:19:48.000 Their vision is incredible and their hearing is incredible.

00:19:51.000 That cat hears everything.

00:19:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:53.000 She'll hear shit like that. 0.98

00:19:54.000 Like, she'll be sleeping and you'll see her all curled up and then I'll move something in the room. 0.99

00:19:59.000 You see her little ear just go... 1.00

00:20:02.000 They're tuning in to specific locations where mice are trying to sneak by.

00:20:10.000 It's really weird to see because the bottom line is she only respects me and loves me and everything.

00:20:15.000 First of all, because I feed her and pet her.

00:20:17.000 But also because I'm so much bigger than her. 1.00

00:20:18.000 Because if I was smaller than her, she would fuck me up. 1.00

00:20:21.000 Cats don't give a fuck about little things. 1.00

00:20:24.000 You can't keep a pet gerbil around your cat. 0.99

00:20:26.000 They don't have that agreement.

00:20:28.000 You can train a dog to not kill a gerbil.

00:20:30.000 You cannot train a cat.

00:20:32.000 You can't do it. 0.96

00:20:33.000 You leave that gerbil around, that cat is going to fuck that thing up. 1.00

00:20:36.000 It's crazy. 0.98

00:20:37.000 They cannot avoid it.

00:20:38.000 They love it. 0.99

00:20:39.000 They love killing things, man. 0.98

00:20:41.000 When I was growing up, when I was a kid, we had a big-ass black tomcat. 0.93

00:20:45.000 And he used to kill squirrels.

00:20:47.000 And he used to kill squirrels.

00:20:49.000 We lived right across the street from this river.

00:20:50.000 And there was like this whole, a lot of wooded area.

00:20:53.000 It's like...

00:20:54.000 Many, many acres.

00:20:55.000 So there's a lot of animals around there. 1.00

00:20:57.000 And these fucking squirrels would be all over this tree. 0.99

00:20:59.000 And this cat would just creep through the grass. 1.00

00:21:02.000 He's a fucking monster. 1.00

00:21:04.000 And he'd pause and hover. 1.00

00:21:05.000 And I would watch him from the window across the street from our house.

00:21:08.000 Dude, it was like National Geographic. 0.99

00:21:11.000 He'd fucking chase him and then scream. 1.00

00:21:14.000 Squirrels trying to leave and he pounce on their back and get their back and sink their teeth into the neck and drag this thing in between his legs. 1.00

00:21:21.000 That was what was really crazy.

00:21:22.000 He had the squirrel's body, which was almost as big as him. 0.97

00:21:26.000 It was pretty fucking big, like half the size of his body. 0.97

00:21:29.000 And he's dragging it in between his legs and taking the squirrel across the street to our house. 0.99

00:21:34.000 I was like, how nutty is that?

00:21:35.000 What if I went out and killed a dog? 1.00

00:21:37.000 What if I went out and killed a dog with a knife in front of you? 1.00

00:21:40.000 Wouldn't you, like, look at me different? 1.00

00:21:42.000 Wouldn't you be like, bro, what the fuck did you just do? 1.00

00:21:44.000 But, you know, he came in. 0.99

00:21:46.000 I'm like, what's up, little buddy?

00:21:47.000 I'm like rubbing his head.

00:21:48.000 What's up, little buddy?

00:21:49.000 What do you got?

00:21:49.000 I saw you got a squirrel, huh?

00:21:52.000 I didn't feel bad.

00:21:54.000 He murdered this poor little animal.

00:21:56.000 His squirrel probably had a little squirrel family, a little squirrel mother.

00:21:59.000 He's not even hungry. 1.00

00:22:00.000 I feed his fat ass every day. 1.00

00:22:02.000 He would come and I would give him a fucking can of little cat food. 1.00

00:22:05.000 He would be fine. 0.99

00:22:05.000 Maybe that squirrel was trying to help you, too, like Rikki-Tikki-Timbo. 0.99

00:22:08.000 Remember that old story where he's trying to save the family from the snake?

00:22:12.000 Maybe the squirrel.

00:22:13.000 Maybe the squirrel was trying to help you.

00:22:14.000 I like squirrels, man.

00:22:15.000 I think squirrels are cool little animals.

00:22:17.000 I like, but I discriminate when it comes to rodents.

00:22:20.000 Like squirrels, they make the grade.

00:22:21.000 I never feel bad when I see them.

00:22:23.000 But if I see a rat that's close, you know, a rat is that close.

00:22:26.000 Like say if you're sitting with your kid at the park and there's a tree and the tree is literally right there.

00:22:31.000 And the tree's got a squirrel.

00:22:32.000 You're like, oh, look at the squirrel.

00:22:33.000 Look at the squirrel.

00:22:33.000 He's right there.

00:22:34.000 But if that was a rat, you'd be like, oh, get the fucking back. 1.00

00:22:37.000 The rat's there. 1.00

00:22:37.000 It's a rat. 1.00

00:22:38.000 Get a fucking stick. 1.00

00:22:39.000 Get a rat. 1.00

00:22:40.000 Get out.

00:22:41.000 You'd start freaking out. 1.00

00:22:42.000 Start yelling shit. 1.00

00:22:43.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:22:43.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:22:45.000 Fucking rat. 1.00

00:22:46.000 I'm scared of rats, dude. 1.00

00:22:47.000 Rats are that big, and I'm scared of them.

00:22:49.000 In Jersey, they'll come at you. 0.96

00:22:51.000 You've got to be careful. 1.00

00:22:53.000 They'll bite your ass, man. 1.00

00:22:55.000 I got, uh, came after by a skunk last week. 1.00

00:22:59.000 And the skunk, like, charged me and the dog. 0.90

00:23:01.000 Of course, my dog's just like, kill, kill, kill. 0.99

00:23:03.000 Won't listen to me, but doesn't know it's gonna spray him, and then that's gonna be like five hours of my time of trying to use vinegar and shit. 1.00

00:23:09.000 Imagine what that smells like to a dog. 0.99

00:23:11.000 Those dogs have these insane sense of smells.

00:23:13.000 I wonder if they like it or not.

00:23:15.000 Oh my god, of course they don't like it.

00:23:19.000 That would be funny if you did.

00:23:20.000 That would be like an animal that's trying to commit suicide. 1.00

00:23:23.000 If that was the evolutionary thing, the dogs loved it, you'd spray your shit, the dogs liked it, they'd want you to spray it, so they'd want to kill you all the time. 1.00

00:23:33.000 It's like with catnip. 0.99

00:23:34.000 Why does catnip not work on any other animal?

00:23:36.000 These guys are weird.

00:23:37.000 Look at this guy.

00:23:38.000 Joe, what's your favorite way to smoke?

00:23:40.000 Some people get nutty about it.

00:23:42.000 Just smoke your weed, people.

00:23:43.000 Dude, there's a certain group of people that follow you that are so burnt out that they just like...

00:23:49.000 Well, maybe he's young to the game.

00:23:51.000 Right.

00:23:51.000 Well, there's a lot of young...

00:23:52.000 Health-wise, the vaporizer is certainly your best bet.

00:23:57.000 Bongs are nice.

00:23:58.000 I like a bong.

00:23:59.000 I like less anything. 1.00

00:24:00.000 Brian doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:24:01.000 It goes right to the glass of dick. 1.00

00:24:04.000 Joints are good because you only have to light it once. 0.97

00:24:08.000 But really, if you want to do it the healthiest way, a vaporizer is the way to go.

00:24:11.000 And don't think that eating it is just as healthy.

00:24:14.000 People think that eating pot is just as healthy.

00:24:16.000 It is.

00:24:17.000 I mean, it's not going to kill you, but it will freak you out.

00:24:20.000 And one of the reasons why it freaks you out is because it produces this thing called 11-hydroxy.

00:24:24.000 It's a metabolite that your liver produces when you eat marijuana.

00:24:28.000 And apparently it's not psychoactive when you smoke it, so you don't get the same effect.

00:24:33.000 But when you eat marijuana, it becomes like four times more psychoactive than if you smoke it.

00:24:38.000 So if you have a lot of weed and you make brownies with them, that's the problem with these things. 1.00

00:24:42.000 You eat a brownie and you're like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:24:45.000 You can't believe how much weed is in it. 1.00

00:24:47.000 You have to sit down.

00:24:48.000 It's because as it's going through your system, it's creating this 11-hydroxy metabolite, which I like.

00:24:55.000 One of the reasons why I like it is because it makes me very self-critical.

00:24:59.000 It makes me examine all sorts of things about myself.

00:25:02.000 If there's anything about myself that I don't like, if I'm being lazy, if I'm being a douchebag, if I'm being short with people, if I'm not focused on what I really should be focused on in my life, anything that might be bugging me, my subconscious mind, This 11-hydroxy makes you think about it, like, in depth.

00:25:21.000 And it can really freak people out. 0.82

00:25:23.000 If you've got some shit that you're pushing in the back of your head, you know, it's like what people call, I was paranoid, I was paranoid. 0.55

00:25:29.000 I think what paranoia is, is people that, when you get high on marijuana, I think what paranoia is people who just are, they're getting too much information for them to manage, and they haven't done such a good job of managing their consciousness in the first place. 0.95

00:25:42.000 And so when this stuff is hitting them, what's happening is they're just, it's overload, and they can't control it, and they freak out, and they say, I can't smoke weed.

00:25:49.000 It gets me paranoid.

00:25:51.000 But I think it's more indicative of this, you don't really know how you feel about yourself.

00:25:57.000 You don't really know how you feel about life. 0.97

00:25:59.000 You're looking at life through barriers because you're trying to not see everything, because you're trying to focus on one particular thing with your life or trying to get your shit together.

00:26:10.000 And you don't realize how many things about your life really are freaking you out and bothering you until you smoke pot and pot just Makes you examine them. 0.99

00:26:17.000 You know, we, as people, we like to avoid shit that bugs us. 0.99

00:26:23.000 It's like when people overeat to get over some childhood molestation, they don't even fucking realize what they're doing. 0.99

00:26:28.000 They're just distracting themselves with something else. 0.99

00:26:30.000 You know, I think we do shit like that all the time. 0.99

00:26:34.000 Don't you think? 0.99

00:26:35.000 I kind of lost you near halfway there.

00:26:40.000 Listen, be careful with your weed.

00:26:42.000 That's all I'm saying.

00:26:43.000 Being paranoid is a good thing.

00:26:45.000 It's for real, it is.

00:26:46.000 I mean, the experience of being paranoid when you smoke weed, it's to get you to look at yourself.

00:26:50.000 It's to get you to look at life.

00:26:52.000 You're not looking at it all as clearly as you could.

00:26:57.000 And those jolts of perception, you misinterpret as paranoia.

00:27:03.000 What you're doing is just dealing with the information that's already been there. 0.99

00:27:07.000 Just the fact that you're this fleshy, temporary, soft, mushy creature that is literally connected with nothing above your head except gases and air and then fucking space. 0.95

00:27:19.000 And above that, there's asteroids and planets and fucking giant nuclear explosions and suns. 0.98

00:27:25.000 And it's all right there. 0.69

00:27:26.000 And you're just this thing that doesn't exactly know what it's doing and is kind of like going along with the flow of everybody else and sitting in traffic like everybody else, hoping that someone of us is like guiding this thing.

00:27:38.000 But they're not. 0.99

00:27:39.000 No one's guiding shit. 1.00

00:27:40.000 And that is, if you're not thinking about that, if you haven't addressed that as a human being and you start eating fucking pot brownies, that shit will club you over the head. 1.00

00:27:50.000 You'll freak out. 1.00

00:27:51.000 You'll be scared.

00:27:52.000 You'll You'll curl into a fetal position, you know?

00:27:55.000 What life really is, is frightening to people. 0.92

00:27:59.000 And marijuana will expose the fuck out of that. 0.99

00:28:03.000 Expose what it really is. 1.00

00:28:04.000 You know, this is not a goddamn movie. 0.99

00:28:06.000 That's the problem. 0.99

00:28:07.000 We are living life like it is a movie. 1.00

00:28:09.000 Because we're fucking... 1.00

00:28:10.000 We really are programmed by culture. 1.00

00:28:13.000 I think...

00:28:14.000 I mean, I love movies.

00:28:15.000 Don't get me wrong.

00:28:16.000 I love CDs.

00:28:17.000 I love songs.

00:28:18.000 I love all...

00:28:20.000 Forms of expression.

00:28:21.000 All entertaining forms of expression.

00:28:24.000 Except dance.

00:28:25.000 Dance like musicals? 0.99

00:28:27.000 That doesn't mean shit to me. 0.98

00:28:28.000 When I see choreographed dancing, I'm like, oh, you're moving together?

00:28:31.000 Yeah, it's probably hard to do.

00:28:32.000 You don't like musical movies at all?

00:28:35.000 South Park's musical.

00:28:38.000 Yeah, that was a beautiful musical.

00:28:41.000 Yeah, it was beautiful.

00:28:42.000 I need to make a new South Park movie. 1.00

00:28:44.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:28:45.000 Except all the Canadians must have been very pissed. 1.00

00:28:48.000 Right?

00:28:49.000 They're always pissed.

00:28:50.000 Right now, gingers are pissed. 1.00

00:28:51.000 Have you seen that ginger video?

00:28:53.000 No.

00:28:53.000 Is that when people are beating up red-headed kids?

00:28:55.000 Well, no.

00:28:55.000 This kid, he's a red-headed.

00:28:57.000 That's fucked up, man. 1.00

00:28:57.000 This kid is a red-headed. 1.00

00:28:59.000 Where did that come from?

00:29:00.000 South Park.

00:29:01.000 That's crazy.

00:29:02.000 That's sad.

00:29:03.000 Because there's an episode where gingers were like, what's happening to those gingers? 0.99

00:29:07.000 Some kid.

00:29:08.000 Right, they're mimicking South Park.

00:29:10.000 It was like Head of Ginger Day and kids were hitting them all day, right?

00:29:12.000 Right, they're mimicking South Park.

00:29:13.000 I mean, that's nothing new.

00:29:15.000 When you're in high school or middle school. 0.91

00:29:16.000 They're looking for excuses to beat the fuck out of people. 0.97

00:29:18.000 Right, right. 0.95

00:29:18.000 So the video is this redheaded guy that gives like a speech for four minutes and it's kind of like Leave Britney Alone style and it's just, it's, you don't want, he brings up God and religion through it and stuff and it's just, you sit there like terrified of this guy. 0.95

00:29:33.000 Not bad for him.

00:29:34.000 I was just terrified of him.

00:29:36.000 You gotta watch it.

00:29:37.000 And he's a redhead? 1.00

00:29:38.000 He's fucking up the whole cause. 0.99

00:29:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:41.000 For all the redheads. 1.00

00:29:42.000 The redheads that want love. 1.00

00:29:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:43.000 Crazy bitch. 1.00

00:29:44.000 That's the problem. 1.00

00:29:45.000 By the time you're out there looking for love, you're probably so goddamn damaged. 0.98

00:29:51.000 Yes. 0.99

00:29:52.000 Most of us are fucking damaged, right? 0.98

00:29:54.000 I mean, if you had to guess what amount of people are still working on issues from their childhood, it's a hundred. 0.98

00:29:59.000 Yeah.

00:29:59.000 It's a hundred.

00:30:00.000 Yeah, it's not even really damaged, it's just that's what happens, you know?

00:30:03.000 Well, it's also, you have to reprogram, like, the way you look at the world.

00:30:06.000 You know, you look at the world a certain way because you think, you know, that's how you were taught by your parents.

00:30:11.000 And, you know, when you're like, in your teen years, you start having to restructure things. 0.99

00:30:15.000 In your teen years, you start looking at things like, they don't even know what the fuck they're talking about. 1.00

00:30:19.000 They're talking crazy shit. 1.00

00:30:20.000 And then you realize, goddammit, my parents are just some fucking people. 1.00

00:30:23.000 Just like all the other idiots that I meet all day. 1.00

00:30:25.000 They just fucked. 1.00

00:30:26.000 They're no different than my idiot friends. 1.00

00:30:28.000 They're no different than my idiot teachers. 1.00

00:30:30.000 They just fucked. 1.00

00:30:31.000 They fucked and they made me. 1.00

00:30:33.000 And so, shit. 1.00

00:30:34.000 And so, when those teenage years, when you're trying to reformulate the view, that's when it starts. 1.00

00:30:39.000 And it continues through your whole life.

00:30:41.000 You know?

00:30:43.000 Do you think that you would be the same dude, though, if you had like a...

00:30:46.000 Oh, I don't want to watch that, man.

00:30:47.000 Change Yourself Souls.

00:30:48.000 I don't want to watch that.

00:30:50.000 Do you think you would be the same dude if you had a perfect childhood?

00:30:53.000 No, I think it's just like your whole theory about you are how you lived.

00:30:58.000 Everyone starts off the same person, pretty much, and just every single little thing kind of builds to it.

00:31:05.000 I kind of believe that.

00:31:06.000 It's like if you roll down the hill, in the mud, you're going to look different than the person next to you.

00:31:10.000 Yeah, that's why people really have to have compassion.

00:31:14.000 You know, if we really are all the same thing, this is my theory if you haven't heard it before, and I had this when I ate some pot, and I was on a boat in Hawaii, and I was on this boat, and we were fishing, and there was dolphins that were next to the boat.

00:31:30.000 The dolphins were playing with us.

00:31:32.000 They would get by the boat, and they would jump up in the air, and we would go, Whoa!

00:31:37.000 And every time they'd jump up in the air, we'd go, What's up?

00:31:39.000 What's up?

00:31:40.000 What's up, dolphin?

00:31:41.000 And when we would do that, they would get excited.

00:31:44.000 And so they were showing off.

00:31:46.000 They were communicating with us. 0.99

00:31:47.000 I was like, God damn, they're so conscious. 0.99

00:31:50.000 And I started thinking about it like they're responding to us. 0.99

00:31:53.000 I wonder what life must be like, what consciousness must be like for the dolphin.

00:31:57.000 And I wonder if it's similar to humans.

00:31:59.000 And I wonder if it's the same.

00:32:01.000 I was thinking, I wonder if they have the exact same consciousness.

00:32:04.000 It's just filtered through an entirely different environment, a totally different skin, you know, you're in a fish's body, and a totally different way of communicating, a totally different language that's almost indecipherable, but what if it's exactly the same thing, the inside, the consciousness?

00:32:18.000 And then I thought about it, I'm like, oh my god, what if that's the case with people?

00:32:22.000 What if we are all exactly the same thing, we just are transmitted through different biological filters, different life experiences, different childhoods, different everything, different bad genetic rolls of the dice.

00:32:35.000 I mean, people are born with different ailments and diseases, and people are born crippled.

00:32:39.000 You know, the reason why you're supposed to have compassion is that easily could have been you.

00:32:44.000 It's just like a filter that the consciousness is going through, but the consciousness is one thing.

00:32:51.000 It's all the same.

00:32:52.000 You are just like me.

00:32:54.000 Your uniqueness has to do with your biology and your interpretations of your experiences as you're growing up.

00:33:01.000 Your unique personality that everybody talks about when you're a child.

00:33:05.000 Could easily be attributed to what kind of machine you're running.

00:33:10.000 You know, let me tell you something.

00:33:10.000 Everybody's biology is different.

00:33:12.000 You know that if you watch porn, right? 1.00

00:33:14.000 There's people that were blessed with gigantic dicks, and there's poor dudes with little tiny dicks, and there's girls with incredible bodies, and there's other girls that like... 1.00

00:33:22.000 No matter what they do, they can't lose that last 20 pounds. 0.99

00:33:25.000 That's just fact.

00:33:27.000 That is what it is.

00:33:28.000 You're born with variables.

00:33:31.000 There's variables with oranges.

00:33:32.000 You'll see one orange is big and another one that's not so big.

00:33:35.000 They're not all the same.

00:33:37.000 These various chemicals and then on top of these various chemicals that are all in balance, all these different hormones, on top of that, then it's like how does this particular model interact with its environment?

00:33:50.000 Your own unique experiences.

00:33:52.000 I mean, how many times have you seen something your friends didn't, and it fucked you up for the rest of the day?

00:33:56.000 You know?

00:33:57.000 You know, like you see someone get hit by a car, or you see something, and then you have the same friends.

00:34:01.000 You go to the same...

00:34:02.000 And all of a sudden, you don't want to hang out with them anymore.

00:34:04.000 You think that things are frivolous. 0.93

00:34:05.000 You think they're being retarded. 1.00

00:34:07.000 You hear about a girl getting raped, and you're the one who freaks out. 0.82

00:34:10.000 You see one thing, and it will set you off in a certain direction.

00:34:14.000 Yep. 0.99

00:34:14.000 And it's like, so who the fuck knows what your personality is? 0.99

00:34:18.000 Who the fuck knows how much of it is your body? 1.00

00:34:20.000 How much of it is your experiences? 1.00

00:34:22.000 How much of it is what you learned from your parents? 1.00

00:34:24.000 And how much of theirs is the same shit? 0.99

00:34:26.000 How much of your personality is really just you reacting and saying what you have to say and doing what you have to do to get by in your environment? 0.99

00:34:33.000 But at the core of everybody, from fucking serial killers to the most compassionate people on earth, It's very likely that the consciousness is the same, male, female, that's all biological.

00:34:44.000 It's very logical that the thinking, it's very possible that the root of it all, when you think about yourself as you, that it's all the same. 0.99

00:34:52.000 That's nuts.

00:34:54.000 That's nuts.

00:34:56.000 Somehow cats involved with it. 1.00

00:34:58.000 Those cats, they're onto some shit. 1.00

00:35:01.000 They're onto some shit. 1.00

00:35:02.000 Yeah, that's really interesting because then when there's personality tests on websites, like those dating websites we were talking about, you take personality tests. 0.99

00:35:11.000 So you're all trying to take a test that's based on what?

00:35:16.000 How do they know? 1.00

00:35:17.000 Those two personality tests are stupid as fuck. 1.00

00:35:20.000 That's just like the same people that have glitter tags on their MySpace pages. 1.00

00:35:23.000 What are you taking? 1.00

00:35:24.000 You don't know what your fucking personality is like? 1.00

00:35:26.000 Why don't you go sit down in the grass by yourself and think about shit? 1.00

00:35:29.000 Take a goddamn meditation class. 1.00

00:35:31.000 At a certain point in time, as a human being, you become responsible for your own biology. 1.00

00:35:36.000 And that's what we don't teach people.

00:35:38.000 What we need to teach kids in school, there needs to be, you know, you have math and you have English, and these are all very important subjects, but what we also need is how to manage your mind.

00:35:46.000 How to think.

00:35:47.000 How to think correctly.

00:35:48.000 How to, when something comes up in your life, how to deal with it and turn it Into something to your advantage. 0.98

00:35:54.000 How not to go into a negative spiral and have your whole fucking life fall apart because of one thing. 0.74

00:35:59.000 It's very important that people learn how to think. 0.99

00:36:03.000 How to control your mind.

00:36:05.000 How many people actually do that?

00:36:07.000 It's not that many, right?

00:36:08.000 It's not that many people really know how to think.

00:36:11.000 How to think positively.

00:36:13.000 How to affect the people around you as positively as you can.

00:36:16.000 How to move your life into a healthy place.

00:36:20.000 Very hard to do.

00:36:22.000 It's because we're all starting from scratch.

00:36:24.000 We're all starting from scratch.

00:36:25.000 We're all trying to read books. 1.00

00:36:26.000 We're never taught that shit in school. 0.98

00:36:27.000 If they really want to teach you how to be a good employee, how to make a good living, being a better person, being better at being a person, being better at managing your life is very important. 0.99

00:36:39.000 They should be teaching kids how to think correctly early in school, and they should have discipline.

00:36:44.000 And I don't mean discipline by like, you know, do what everybody tells you to do.

00:36:48.000 That's not discipline.

00:36:49.000 What discipline is, is you have to do a certain amount.

00:36:52.000 You have to do something.

00:36:53.000 Do anything.

00:36:54.000 Anything that's really hard, like whether it's swimming or archery or playing chess or You know, doing jujitsu.

00:37:02.000 For kids, having something that's difficult to do is very important.

00:37:06.000 They need to be pushed.

00:37:07.000 You know, it's very, very important.

00:37:09.000 You can develop so much more of who you are if you've already pushed your boundaries.

00:37:13.000 If you've been lazy your whole life, it's so hard to get out of not being lazy anymore. 0.99

00:37:17.000 And this is all shit that they should be teaching in school, man. 1.00

00:37:20.000 They should totally be teaching that shit in school. 1.00

00:37:23.000 You know, it's not just history. 1.00

00:37:25.000 You know, when I was a kid, they fucking taught us Columbus discovered America. 0.93

00:37:28.000 You know, that was still being taught. 0.98

00:37:30.000 And now we know for a fact he didn't.

00:37:32.000 I think it still is, isn't it?

00:37:33.000 I don't think so, dude.

00:37:34.000 Really?

00:37:35.000 I mean, he still celebrated Columbus Day, but I think now they say he landed in the West Indies.

00:37:40.000 Let's read some questions, ladies and gentlemen.

00:37:44.000 Are we serious about that dolphin stuff?

00:37:46.000 Yeah, man.

00:37:47.000 Dolphins rape other dolphins. 0.95

00:37:49.000 Oh, I know they do. 0.99

00:37:50.000 They do. 0.99

00:37:50.000 They rape other dolphins. 0.99

00:37:52.000 They eat dolphin babies. 0.77

00:37:53.000 It's, you know...

00:37:55.000 Infanticide and dolphins, I think that's what it's called. 0.99

00:37:58.000 What they do is the female dolphins try to fuck as many male dolphins as they can... 1.00

00:38:03.000 Because if they run across a male dolphin that they haven't fucked and they have babies, the male might kill the babies to get the female to breed. 0.99

00:38:11.000 Because the females won't breed while they're taking care of their young. 1.00

00:38:14.000 So they have to fuck as many male dolphins as they can so that when they do come across a male dolphin and he sees them with a baby, if she fucked him, he won't kill the babies because he doesn't know if they're his. 0.99

00:38:25.000 It's crazy. 1.00

00:38:27.000 Humans, you know, rape and kill babies too, so... 1.00

00:38:31.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:38:32.000 I mean, we don't do it in such large numbers as dolphins though.

00:38:35.000 I mean, dolphins do it kind of like as a matter of, you know...

00:38:38.000 Yeah, but they're more bored.

00:38:39.000 They're in the water all day. 1.00

00:38:41.000 Like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:38:41.000 We don't have an iPhone. 0.99

00:38:42.000 I think it's that.

00:38:42.000 They're bored.

00:38:43.000 I think it's that...

00:38:44.000 See, they can't affect their environment.

00:38:46.000 We see evolution in dolphins and it's in a very strange scale.

00:38:50.000 It's very much different than ours.

00:38:51.000 It's like they're super intelligent and cognitive.

00:38:53.000 They have these amazing abilities to communicate, but yet they can't move anything with their hands.

00:38:59.000 They don't create anything.

00:39:00.000 So they're out in the wild.

00:39:01.000 So their world is just way harsher.

00:39:03.000 They're basically... 1.00

00:39:03.000 Dolphins are like the fucking blue people in Avatar. 1.00

00:39:07.000 The blue people in Avatar are super intelligent, but these motherfuckers live in the jungle. 1.00

00:39:11.000 You gotta be hard. 1.00

00:39:12.000 You ain't like some soft dude behind a computer keyboard. 1.00

00:39:14.000 You gotta be like that crazy bitch shooting arrows at those crazy black dog things. 1.00

00:39:19.000 That's what dolphins are like, man. 1.00

00:39:20.000 They're in the fucking woods. 0.99

00:39:21.000 They're in the ocean, but there's sharks out there, man. 1.00

00:39:25.000 Killer whales eat dolphins all the time.

00:39:27.000 They're cousins.

00:39:28.000 Imagine if your cousin ate you. 0.99

00:39:30.000 Killer whales will fuck up some dolphins. 1.00

00:39:33.000 They fuck up sharks, too. 0.99

00:39:34.000 Killer whales are the pimps of the ocean. 1.00

00:39:36.000 They're just running shit, you know? 1.00

00:39:38.000 They don't take shit from nobody. 1.00

00:39:40.000 You know the only people they do? 0.99

00:39:41.000 It's people. 1.00

00:39:42.000 It's the only thing that they take shit from. 1.00

00:39:44.000 Because people... 0.99

00:39:44.000 This is a story that I wrote on the internet, and this I would like to ask you, Twitter people and people watching on Ustream. 0.99

00:39:52.000 I wonder if it's possible that this is a true story.

00:39:57.000 What I heard was that the orcas, or killer whales, used to attack people and been attacking people for a long time, but then after World War II, they stopped.

00:40:07.000 And one of the reasons why is because American soldiers were apparently targeting killer whales in the ocean for practice.

00:40:15.000 You know, that's how they would work on their, you know, shooting out of their planes. 0.99

00:40:19.000 And they would drop bombs on them and shit. 0.99

00:40:21.000 The whales just completely stopped eating people. 0.99

00:40:24.000 I mean, that doesn't, that seems like something somebody made up, right?

00:40:28.000 Doesn't it?

00:40:28.000 But what if it wasn't?

00:40:30.000 That would be pretty fucking crazy. 0.88

00:40:31.000 You know, because I know cultures do have, like, images, like old Eskimo images, just like a killer whale attacking people, like really ancient stuff. 0.87

00:40:39.000 I wonder, uh, that'd be interesting if they knew what was up. 0.99

00:40:43.000 You know, if, like, oh, these motherfuckers can fly now and drop shit from them. 1.00

00:40:47.000 They're like, okay, we're good. 1.00

00:40:48.000 We won't eat anymore.

00:40:49.000 We're done.

00:40:49.000 Just about we tap.

00:40:51.000 Can you imagine?

00:40:52.000 If they eat everything else, why wouldn't they eat people?

00:40:55.000 They save people all the time.

00:40:57.000 Like, that's really nutty.

00:40:58.000 When you're talking about an animal that's that intelligent that murders dolphins.

00:41:01.000 When people fall in the ocean, killer whales have been known many times to Nudge people towards boats and help them.

00:41:07.000 Same with dolphins.

00:41:08.000 That's crazy.

00:41:09.000 Same with dolphins. 0.99

00:41:10.000 Then none of them fuck with people because we have the ability to change our environment. 1.00

00:41:14.000 They're just as ruthless, just as smart, but they're fucked with their bodies. 1.00

00:41:18.000 They're little fucking flippers and shit. 1.00

00:41:20.000 They'll fuck you up if you're in their world, but that's what you need to get by in their world. 1.00

00:41:23.000 Our world requires much more finer moves and our ability to manipulate shit. 0.99

00:41:29.000 Like, have things gone just a little bit different in evolution, if you believe in evolution? 1.00

00:41:33.000 You know, the dolphins could easily be brought in shit. 0.99

00:41:37.000 The killer whales and the dolphins. 0.99

00:41:38.000 Imagine if there was something like that with us. 0.99

00:41:40.000 If those are all the same intelligence, imagine if there's something like that with us, like some giant trolls that were just as smart as us and would come in and kill people. 0.98

00:41:47.000 Just show up at your village and start eating us and just jacking us. 0.99

00:41:51.000 Well, that is happening. 0.98

00:41:52.000 That's us and monkeys.

00:41:54.000 Beowulf.

00:41:54.000 Well, that's us and monkeys.

00:41:56.000 If you look at, like, African countries, bush meat, you see they sell chimpanzee hands as ashtrays and shit? 1.00

00:42:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:02.000 They just go into the forest and fuck those things up and eat them. 0.99

00:42:05.000 You know? 1.00

00:42:07.000 That's pretty crazy when you think about it.

00:42:08.000 What if there's something like that with us?

00:42:10.000 Woo! 0.99

00:42:10.000 That could happen, man. 0.99

00:42:12.000 Don't think it can happen.

00:42:13.000 Well, wouldn't, like...

00:42:14.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:42:15.000 Could you fucking imagine? 0.99

00:42:16.000 I mean, there are predators and humans if you're around them. 0.99

00:42:20.000 Yeah, like tigers and stuff.

00:42:21.000 Yeah, but, you know, for the most part, they're not intelligent. 1.00

00:42:25.000 These fucking things are intelligent. 1.00

00:42:26.000 Killer whales are just as smart as dolphins. 1.00

00:42:28.000 They're genius.

00:42:29.000 Yeah.

00:42:29.000 They're like as smart as humans, supposedly.

00:42:31.000 Well, if that's the case, man, could you imagine something as smart as people but giant and likes to eat us?

00:42:37.000 Robots.

00:42:38.000 No.

00:42:38.000 That's what it's going to be.

00:42:39.000 We're going to build our enemy.

00:42:42.000 Ugh.

00:42:43.000 Our predator.

00:42:44.000 We're going to build our predator.

00:42:45.000 Some new monster is going to come from the sky.

00:42:47.000 Yeah, we would never be able to get to this point. 0.95

00:42:49.000 The reason why we've got to this point with technology and with our inventions and all this shit, the reason why is because no one's been eating us. 0.75

00:42:57.000 We've had all this down time. 0.58

00:43:00.000 All this down time to come up with things.

00:43:01.000 Because otherwise we would have never gotten to this point.

00:43:03.000 You'd never be comfortable enough to sit around crunching algorithms trying to figure out how to make a Pentium processor.

00:43:08.000 You would never get to that point. 1.00

00:43:09.000 You'd be constantly running from the giant troll people that want to eat your asshole. 1.00

00:43:14.000 You know? 1.00

00:43:14.000 They would just kill people. 1.00

00:43:16.000 And the way chimps eat monkeys.

00:43:17.000 You ever watch the way chimps eat monkeys?

00:43:19.000 Yeah, they like tear them apart.

00:43:20.000 They eat them while they're alive.

00:43:21.000 Yeah.

00:43:21.000 They don't kill them.

00:43:22.000 That's a weird thing about predators seem to kill people.

00:43:27.000 And then eat them.

00:43:28.000 Like big cats, you know, animals that kill things for a living.

00:43:33.000 Big cats, they only eat grass so they can throw up.

00:43:37.000 That's all they do. 0.58

00:43:38.000 And these animals, when they catch something, it's very important that they kill it. 0.96

00:43:42.000 So they just grab them by the neck and jack them immediately.

00:43:46.000 Chimps don't do that. 1.00

00:43:47.000 Chimps eat berries. 1.00

00:43:48.000 They eat all kinds of shit. 1.00

00:43:49.000 They're omnivores. 1.00

00:43:50.000 They can eat meat or vegetables and fruits. 0.99

00:43:53.000 So when they kill monkeys, which is like their favorite shit to do, they love monkeys. 0.99

00:43:58.000 They love to eat them. 0.99

00:44:00.000 And they have all these elaborate traps.

00:44:02.000 You can see them online.

00:44:04.000 We'll find you the YouTube clip. 0.93

00:44:06.000 I'll find it right now because it's pretty fucking trippy. 0.92

00:44:10.000 I'm just going to YouTube chimps eat monkeys. 0.99

00:44:14.000 And my point is, they eat them alive, man.

00:44:18.000 They eat them alive.

00:44:19.000 They rip them apart. 0.97

00:44:20.000 They don't kill them first.

00:44:21.000 And same thing with bears.

00:44:23.000 Bears, you ever see like a bear when it, like that's the thing about that Timothy Treadwell dude, that dude from Grizzly Man. 0.87

00:44:28.000 The fucking video, or the video is, there's a cap on the video when the bear ate him, but the audio is there. 0.98

00:44:34.000 And the audio was seven minutes long! 1.00

00:44:37.000 Seven minutes long!

00:44:38.000 Why is that not leaked yet?

00:44:39.000 Seven minutes, because the woman who was his girlfriend didn't want it to leak.

00:44:43.000 If you haven't seen Grizzly Man, you must.

00:44:46.000 You must see Grizzly Man. 0.99

00:44:48.000 It's one of the most genius fucking movies ever. 0.99

00:44:51.000 And it's like a subtle comedy. 0.99

00:44:54.000 I mean, it's so hard to describe. 0.98

00:44:56.000 This guy was so insane.

00:44:57.000 And he was living with bears.

00:44:58.000 And the way it's edited together...

00:45:00.000 And Werner Herzog is typically not known for making funny movies, right?

00:45:04.000 He's like a serious director.

00:45:05.000 Right.

00:45:06.000 I don't think he meant to make this funny.

00:45:07.000 No. 0.99

00:45:07.000 But this guy's so ridiculous. 0.99

00:45:09.000 He's... 1.00

00:45:10.000 Oh, look, a bear!

00:45:11.000 Hey, come here!

00:45:12.000 Come here! 1.00

00:45:13.000 He's gayer than Ricky Martin in a room full of dicks. 1.00

00:45:16.000 He's... 1.00

00:45:17.000 This guy's so gay. 0.99

00:45:19.000 And he's like out there in the woods with a camera going, if I was gay, I could just meet a girl and we could just... 0.98

00:45:24.000 Or could he meet a guy in a restroom? 0.55

00:45:26.000 We could just hook up.

00:45:27.000 But I'm not gay, so what do I do?

00:45:29.000 Yeah, he kept on bringing it up.

00:45:30.000 He would do it in specifics.

00:45:32.000 Like, I'd just go to a rest stop.

00:45:33.000 Right.

00:45:34.000 That was a great movie.

00:45:35.000 I need to rewatch that.

00:45:36.000 Fantastic movie.

00:45:37.000 Grizzly Man.

00:45:37.000 You have to see it.

00:45:40.000 But this guy was really into saving the grizzly bear, so he's up there in Alaska. 1.00

00:45:44.000 And he's like, you know, the fucking park rangers, 90s motherfuckers, I'm out here saving them every day! 1.00

00:45:50.000 And the bears are looking like, who is this crazy bitch? 1.00

00:45:52.000 Like, he wasn't doing anything! 0.99

00:45:54.000 He was letting people know the bears were there.

00:45:56.000 But they knew bears were there!

00:45:57.000 Like, he wasn't saving them.

00:45:58.000 They're in a national park, you know?

00:46:00.000 Right.

00:46:00.000 Occasionally there's poaching, but that's going to happen everywhere.

00:46:03.000 They're not going to not poach because you're there, stupid. 1.00

00:46:05.000 You know? 1.00

00:46:06.000 Okay, here.

00:46:07.000 Chimp's killing and eating a monkey.

00:46:09.000 I'm going to take this. 0.58

00:46:10.000 Yeah, this is the one.

00:46:11.000 It's ruthless.

00:46:12.000 Woo! 0.99

00:46:13.000 I'll take this link and I'll throw it up on Twitter right now for my P posts.

00:46:21.000 When I'm really high I can't type that good if I think about it.

00:46:29.000 Have you been to the zoo?

00:46:31.000 The Los Angeles Zoo?

00:46:32.000 Yeah.

00:46:33.000 I don't like to go to the zoo.

00:46:34.000 The last time I went, I wrote that piece about the zoo, the animal prison in the blog.

00:46:38.000 But I realized that I was super baked.

00:46:42.000 Like we talked about earlier, when you're super baked, you're much more sensitive.

00:46:46.000 And I was watching these animals and I'm like, this is a horrendous life.

00:46:49.000 Just because they can move doesn't mean they're alive.

00:46:51.000 They don't allow the predators to kill and eat.

00:46:54.000 That's like they take you away and you can't talk to people ever again.

00:46:59.000 You get locked up in a room by yourself and something else other than you has to stare at you.

00:47:05.000 You don't even get the one pleasure that animals that are predators get.

00:47:11.000 The reason why they go after the kill, it must be orgasmic. 0.97

00:47:16.000 I mean, it's what they need to stay alive, and they're doing it with their mouth, and they're feeling the life leave the animal, and I mean, it's imperative for them to be really awesome at killing things in order for them to survive.

00:47:30.000 So, what must that feel like to them?

00:47:32.000 It must be incredible. 0.99

00:47:33.000 I mean, it feels good for us to fuck, and there's so many of us, it's like, it's not even important if we fuck. 0.99

00:47:38.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:47:39.000 But it's your body...

00:47:41.000 It's so programmed by all the years of evolution to think that it's very, very important to make new human beings. 1.00

00:47:46.000 So you get this fantastic reward when you fuck. 1.00

00:47:49.000 It just feels so good. 1.00

00:47:50.000 And what it really is is just nature trying to trick you.

00:47:53.000 Nature making sure that you're rewarded for doing what you have to do to stay alive and to continue the race. 1.00

00:47:58.000 Well, with a jaguar, every day you have to kill some shit. 1.00

00:48:02.000 The fucking, the physical rush, the sensation of chasing something down as it's running through the forest. 1.00

00:48:08.000 You're not sure if you're going to get it. 1.00

00:48:09.000 And sometimes they get away.

00:48:11.000 BAM! You got that motherfucker right by the neck and you feel its heartbeat and its legs are kicking and you just put that little antelope down. 1.00

00:48:19.000 That must be fantastic. 1.00

00:48:21.000 It must be fantastic.

00:48:22.000 And you don't even give him that. 1.00

00:48:23.000 You just put him in his cage and you slide cold meat in a tray and he eats it and he's just like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:48:30.000 What the fuck did I do to deserve this? 1.00

00:48:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:33.000 I mean, if you're going to keep them around, I can see the argument much more to kill all the predators. 0.98

00:48:38.000 than I could to keep any of them around in cages. 0.82

00:48:41.000 You know, because I can see like you saying, listen, we're going to get some video of all these animals that can eat us. 0.99

00:48:47.000 We'll get some nice video documented, a bunch of different formats, MPEG, MOV, put on iPhones, and then we're going to kill them. 0.99

00:48:55.000 We're going to kill all of them, anything that kills us. 0.98

00:48:57.000 But what if they were to do it like they had a huge open crazy space and they made it kind of like fun and everything that they would want, but then they would like throw in like, oh, here's a cow into the situation. 0.99

00:49:08.000 Well, yeah.

00:49:09.000 No.

00:49:10.000 I don't know.

00:49:11.000 I don't think you want to... 1.00

00:49:12.000 The problem is people don't want to see that shit. 1.00

00:49:15.000 I mean, at night or something. 1.00

00:49:17.000 How about in the day?

00:49:18.000 I mean, if you're going to do it, if you really want to teach children, why is it okay?

00:49:22.000 It's kind of funny because why is it okay to watch something like that on the National Geographic show or Discovery Channel?

00:49:27.000 They show you all the time.

00:49:29.000 Have you ever seen Relentless Enemies?

00:49:31.000 Uh, maybe.

00:49:33.000 I'm pretty sure it's called Relentless Enemies. 0.99

00:49:35.000 It's a fucking amazing documentary about these lions in Africa that are s-s-sized. 0.99

00:49:41.000 They look like cartoon lions. 0.99

00:49:42.000 Like giant Mike Tyson lions. 0.99

00:49:45.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.82

00:49:47.000 And the females are bigger than normal African male lions, or as big, if not bigger, than normal African male lions, which is unprecedented. 0.96

00:49:57.000 I mean, they never exist. 1.00

00:49:59.000 These fucking lions are gigantic. 0.99

00:50:01.000 And the reason why they're gigantic is because the river where they live changed course about a hundred years ago. 1.00

00:50:08.000 It may not even be a hundred.

00:50:10.000 It might have been more recent than that.

00:50:12.000 I have to look it up.

00:50:13.000 But they got stuck on this one island with water buffalo.

00:50:18.000 Only water buffalo.

00:50:19.000 So in order to survive, they had to only kill the toughest thing to kill. 1.00

00:50:23.000 So these giant fucking water buffaloes are dangerous as fuck. 1.00

00:50:27.000 They're super powerful. 1.00

00:50:28.000 They got these giant horns. 1.00

00:50:29.000 And they'll come at you and stomp your ass. 1.00

00:50:32.000 And they get broken legs and they can't hunt again. 1.00

00:50:34.000 And then they're fucked and they starve to death. 1.00

00:50:36.000 So it's a fucking dangerous proposition. 1.00

00:50:38.000 Well, these tigers got gigantic because of it. 0.99

00:50:43.000 They got fucking huge! 0.98

00:50:45.000 And it's really fascinating, man. 0.99

00:50:47.000 Really fascinating to watch them try to figure out how they're going to take out these water buffalo.

00:50:51.000 And they're just so much bigger than regular lions.

00:50:54.000 It's crazy to watch, man.

00:50:57.000 Really, really intense documentary.

00:50:59.000 You're a huge documentary.

00:51:01.000 How many documentaries a day do you watch?

00:51:03.000 Two?

00:51:04.000 Three?

00:51:04.000 I watch a lot of them, yeah.

00:51:07.000 Is it because you just like science?

00:51:09.000 Have you always liked science?

00:51:11.000 I do. 1.00

00:51:12.000 I just get fascinated by shit, man. 1.00

00:51:14.000 You know, I mean, just the fact that that exists. 1.00

00:51:16.000 I mean, how many people out there knew?

00:51:18.000 I bet a lot of you guys knew about those lions in Africa. 0.98

00:51:22.000 But, you know, you talk to them because you're on the internet and shit and you're savvy enough to be on the Ustream. 0.95

00:51:28.000 But how many fucking people really, you know, know anything about the animal world or space or, you know, I mean, you start seeing things about, like, hypernovas. 0.95

00:51:39.000 They blow up, like, everything, like, within, you know, 100 million fucking light years and everything gets cooked and they happen all the time throughout the galaxy and you're like, what? 0.98

00:51:49.000 Like, what is this?

00:51:50.000 They talk about how if one happened, like, anywhere near us, we'd be, like, cooked instantly.

00:51:55.000 Like, it just blows everything apart all around it.

00:51:58.000 Like, this insane event where these spirals of energy blast out from the sides. 0.98

00:52:04.000 It's fucking nuts. 0.70

00:52:06.000 It happens, like, hundreds a day all over the universe. 0.99

00:52:11.000 It's like, to not be into documentaries, to me, seems way crazier than to be into them. 0.99

00:52:16.000 There's so much nutty shit going on out there, and no one cares, you know? 0.98

00:52:21.000 The new season of Lost is right about to start! 0.99

00:52:24.000 I can't wait!

00:52:24.000 I really can't wait for that, though.

00:52:27.000 I'm jonesing, dude.

00:52:28.000 Every time I see that commercial, I'm just like, oh, it's good!

00:52:30.000 There was one second of a new...

00:52:32.000 The documentary on the Lions, folks, I think it's called Relentless Enemies.

00:52:37.000 Let me check right now.

00:52:40.000 What is that thing?

00:52:40.000 Are you saying you have to smoke cigarettes?

00:52:42.000 Oh, no, no.

00:52:43.000 Jones, if you're lost.

00:52:44.000 Oh.

00:52:45.000 But, you know, did you hear somebody died by... 0.99

00:52:47.000 This is how dumb somebody was. 0.94

00:52:49.000 Went to go get the nicotine patches, and they wanted to quit smoking faster, so they put every single one of the nicotine patches on their body. 0.99

00:52:56.000 You know, you get a box of them.

00:52:58.000 They thought that if they put more patches on their body, they would... 1.00

00:53:01.000 People suck. 1.00

00:53:02.000 I can show you this right here. 1.00

00:53:05.000 It's called Relentless Enemies.

00:53:07.000 It's the documentary on the Lions. 0.99

00:53:09.000 Now, this is how bad people suck. 1.00

00:53:11.000 This fucking guy. 1.00

00:53:12.000 Dr. Levent Kackmore film guy. 1.00

00:53:15.000 Amazon.com.

00:53:16.000 He says, How can someone mess up such a great documentary film in such a way?

00:53:20.000 I hope National Geographic does something about it.

00:53:22.000 And we can buy it again.

00:53:24.000 I tried a couple different HD DVDs.

00:53:26.000 Oh, okay.

00:53:27.000 He's saying...

00:53:28.000 Okay, this guy's saying that...

00:53:29.000 The tech support.

00:53:30.000 No, he's saying that the DVD he got was faulty.

00:53:33.000 Any of the other ones over there? 0.87

00:53:34.000 But yeah, it's fucking amazing. 0.96

00:53:37.000 It's amazing. 0.95

00:53:38.000 Oh, it's saying it will not play on Xbox.

00:53:40.000 Yeah, it's DVD player.

00:53:41.000 See, that's the problem with digital media.

00:53:43.000 It's pretty huge right now.

00:53:45.000 I saw somebody bashing iTunes the other day.

00:53:47.000 I'm not saying this.

00:53:48.000 It doesn't play.

00:53:50.000 Wow.

00:53:51.000 Two out of three are saying these three reviews are on the front page. 0.95

00:53:56.000 Anyway, the documentary itself, if these poor guys could get their DVD to work, it's fucking incredible.

00:54:02.000 I mean, it just shows you how quickly life can adapt.

00:54:05.000 You know, there's these, you know, the Amazon rainforest has only existed, not the Amazon, rather the Congo, has only existed in that form for like a few thousand years.

00:54:15.000 And thousands of years before that, it was like grasslands.

00:54:19.000 So there's animals that are trapped inside the Congo that are animals that live on the grass plains.

00:54:25.000 Like rhinos are trapped in there and deer and antelope.

00:54:28.000 And there's one little antelope that has developed the ability to swim underwater because the Congo is filled with water.

00:54:36.000 Developed the ability to swim underwater up to 100 yards and it eats fish. 1.00

00:54:41.000 And it's a fucking antelope. 1.00

00:54:43.000 And it's got these little short ass legs. 1.00

00:54:45.000 Because evolution dictated that this animal change. 0.97

00:54:48.000 I mean, and that happened over 2,000 years. 0.99

00:54:51.000 There's a fish in the Amazon that comes out of the fucking water and walks. 0.98

00:54:55.000 Yes, it's awesome. 0.99

00:54:56.000 It's crazy.

00:54:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:54:57.000 And it finds another water hole and then there's this fucking bird that eats it that looks like a goddamn dinosaur. 1.00

00:55:03.000 It's a six foot tall evil giant bird with this crazy big ass fucking beak like this big killing machine attached to its face and it's got these dead eyes like these dead crazy dinosaur eagle eyes and it jacks this fucking old dinosaur walking fish and you're like whoa that's a nutty goddamn place. 1.00

00:55:23.000 That's the same planet we live on. 1.00

00:55:25.000 Yeah.

00:55:25.000 That's the same planet we live on.

00:55:27.000 You ever see that old video of the eagle killing all those goats, throwing them over the cliff?

00:55:31.000 Yeah, throwing them off the cliffs.

00:55:32.000 Woo! 1.00

00:55:32.000 That shit's awesome. 1.00

00:55:33.000 This eagle is on top of a cliff and there's all these goats and it's just grabbing them and throwing them off the cliffs so they would die and eat them at the body. 1.00

00:55:41.000 And it can barely carry them, but it's dragging them.

00:55:43.000 It's like doing it on purpose.

00:55:44.000 It couldn't kill them if it was just on flat land. 0.51

00:55:47.000 It knows it's going to kill them by dragging them off the rock.

00:55:50.000 I mean, that's incredible.

00:55:52.000 Birds are smart too, man.

00:55:53.000 Whatever those blackbirds are, ravens.

00:55:55.000 Crows are super smart.

00:55:56.000 Yeah, where they use tools.

00:55:58.000 Yeah, have you seen that?

00:55:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:00.000 Yeah, I've seen them do all kinds of creepy shit. 0.99

00:56:04.000 I had a steak and I was trying to thaw it out and I put it on, it was in the wrap from the supermarket, and I put it on stone outside. 0.99

00:56:16.000 My house. 0.98

00:56:17.000 For a minute, maybe a minute, I came out and these crows were fucking it up. 0.99

00:56:22.000 They watched me. 0.99

00:56:24.000 They watched me put it out and then they swooped in to look at it and they go, I think that is meat. 1.00

00:56:28.000 This dumb motherfucker left some meat out. 1.00

00:56:30.000 I'm like, there's no way he's that stupid. 1.00

00:56:32.000 He left some meat out. 1.00

00:56:33.000 I'm telling you, it's meat.

00:56:34.000 Let's eat it. 0.99

00:56:34.000 And they landed on it and just started fucking it up. 0.99

00:56:36.000 And I came out and there was two of them just Fucking up the state. 0.99

00:56:39.000 Wow. 0.97

00:56:40.000 They're so clever.

00:56:41.000 That's craziness. 0.96

00:56:42.000 A rat wouldn't have seen it.

00:56:43.000 No.

00:56:43.000 A flying rat even.

00:56:45.000 A flying rat.

00:56:46.000 Like a pigeon.

00:56:46.000 Can you imagine if we had flying rats around here how horrible that would be?

00:56:49.000 We did.

00:56:49.000 We're pigeons.

00:56:50.000 Pigeons are like flying rats.

00:56:52.000 Unless you raise them yourself, then they're cute.

00:56:54.000 I've been putting bird feed out lately in my backyard, and the bird feed I put out attracts these little canaries.

00:57:00.000 And now I have just little canaries everywhere.

00:57:03.000 In Ohio, they don't have canaries.

00:57:05.000 This fellow is very specific.

00:57:07.000 Have either of you guys tried JWHO1? I heard about this the other day.

00:57:12.000 What is it?

00:57:14.000 There's a topic on your form about it.

00:57:18.000 I can't remember.

00:57:19.000 What is this?

00:57:20.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:57:21.000 Here's how crazy you internet kids are. 0.92

00:57:23.000 You're coming up with new ways to get high.

00:57:25.000 It's an analgesic chemical from the aminoalkalino...

00:57:31.000 How do you say that?

00:57:37.000 Yeah, aminoalkylindole family, which acts as a cannabinoid, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:57:47.000 Well, it must be something that gets you fucked up. 0.97

00:57:50.000 I'm sure there's a lot of those things, too. 0.97

00:57:52.000 I don't want to mess with any different new things. 0.98

00:57:54.000 This sounds crazy coming from someone who's done as many psychedelics as I have, but I think the shit that you should do is the shit that people have been doing for thousands of years. 0.98

00:58:02.000 You can't go wrong with San Pedro cactus. 0.99

00:58:05.000 You can't go wrong with cannabis mushrooms.

00:58:07.000 You can't go wrong with those things.

00:58:09.000 Ayahuasca, you can't go wrong.

00:58:10.000 I mean, you can go wrong. 1.00

00:58:11.000 You lose your fucking marbles. 1.00

00:58:12.000 Don't listen to me. 1.00

00:58:13.000 What I'm saying is...

00:58:15.000 New stuff? 1.00

00:58:16.000 Like, you know, hey man, try this new shit. 1.00

00:58:18.000 Scientists fucking in NASA labs, man. 1.00

00:58:20.000 They just came up with it. 1.00

00:58:22.000 Um, no.

00:58:24.000 Don't do anything that people haven't been doing in a long time.

00:58:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:27.000 Don't fuck with some new shit that they just invented to be weed tests. 1.00

00:58:31.000 And you smoke it and it makes you want to fuck animals, you know? 1.00

00:58:35.000 Who the hell knows? 1.00

00:58:35.000 Follow the old Indians. 1.00

00:58:37.000 They were the beta testers.

00:58:38.000 Yes, exactly.

00:58:39.000 They were down with peyote. 1.00

00:58:40.000 That was their shit. 1.00

00:58:41.000 The San Pedro cactus. 1.00

00:58:43.000 The mescaline.

00:58:43.000 I've never done that.

00:58:44.000 Have you ever done that?

00:58:45.000 Mm-mm.

00:58:46.000 See, it's crazy that these things are illegal.

00:58:49.000 I mean, Bill Hicks had a great line about that. 0.92

00:58:51.000 Like, isn't there something fucked up about making nature against the law? 0.93

00:58:57.000 You know? 0.98

00:58:57.000 It's totally true. 0.98

00:58:59.000 I mean, how can you tell someone that they can't have a life form that exists naturally on this planet?

00:59:04.000 Whether it's cannabis or mushrooms or, you know, anything.

00:59:08.000 Anything that grows naturally.

00:59:10.000 You can buy, and it's only anything that affects your consciousness.

00:59:13.000 You can buy stuff that's poisonous.

00:59:15.000 Like, you can legally have a bunch of different plants that can kill you.

00:59:20.000 A bunch of different plants.

00:59:23.000 Just having marijuana in your backyard is not proof that you're eating marijuana or using it.

00:59:28.000 If you have all these poisonous plants in your backyard, nobody would even bat an eye.

00:59:34.000 It's a personal use issue.

00:59:36.000 It's really so weird that people allow, in this day and age, with all the information that we have, allow plants to be illegal. 0.97

00:59:44.000 It's fucking pretty incredible. 0.98

00:59:45.000 Plants. 0.99

00:59:46.000 It's pretty incredible.

00:59:47.000 It is. 0.91

00:59:47.000 It's fucking really bizarre that we enforce it so strictly. 0.91

00:59:52.000 It's such a strong ethic in our culture that if we catch you using certain plants that have nothing to do with me, they're not affecting me at all, but if I catch you with these plants, I'm allowed by our laws to lock you in a cage. 0.97

01:00:09.000 How crazy is that?

01:00:10.000 If you have a giant-ass bag of mushrooms and you are driving on your way to the woods and a cop pulls you over and says, what are you doing?

01:00:19.000 You're like, well, I'm about to have a spiritual experience with the Lord. 1.00

01:00:21.000 The cop will go, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

01:00:23.000 Well, I have these mushrooms that I'm going to go out to. 1.00

01:00:25.000 Get the fuck out of the car. 1.00

01:00:26.000 Get out of the car. 1.00

01:00:27.000 He'll handcuff you, you fucking idiot. 1.00

01:00:29.000 You're telling me about this? 1.00

01:00:30.000 I'm just letting you know, man.

01:00:31.000 Nature is natural.

01:00:33.000 It grows on the earth. 1.00

01:00:34.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:00:35.000 Shut up. 1.00

01:00:36.000 I don't want to hear it. 1.00

01:00:36.000 I want to hear you hippie bullshit. 1.00

01:00:38.000 Get in the fucking car. 1.00

01:00:39.000 I just hit the mother load with this stupid fuck. 1.00

01:00:41.000 This guy told me he had mushrooms on him. 1.00

01:00:43.000 How high is he?

01:00:44.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

01:00:45.000 You want to eat?

01:00:46.000 Yeah, let's go to Sally's.

01:00:48.000 And then they meet up and they feel good for locking this guy in a cage for having plants on him.

01:00:52.000 Yeah.

01:00:52.000 That's bizarre.

01:00:55.000 2010?

01:00:55.000 That's strange.

01:00:58.000 I mean, it's very hard to believe that that's the case.

01:01:01.000 You know what's really strange about 2010 is that we're going towards 2020. That's just, that's craziness.

01:01:07.000 It is craziness.

01:01:09.000 Just the sound of it.

01:01:10.000 This guy says it's because of money though.

01:01:12.000 Yeah, it's definitely because of money.

01:01:13.000 But it's just, it's amazing. 1.00

01:01:15.000 You know, here's the best example of how it's for sure politicians are whores. 1.00

01:01:20.000 Best example. 0.99

01:01:21.000 Nobody talks about cigarettes. 0.99

01:01:23.000 If Al-Qaeda was killing 400,000 people in America every year, holy shit would the war against Al-Qaeda heat up. 0.99

01:01:30.000 It would be gigantic. 0.99

01:01:31.000 As it is, they're killing people, most of them that they've killed, you know, unless you listen to Alex Jones, it's the government!

01:01:39.000 But most of them are in other countries.

01:01:42.000 I mean, in this country alone, Al-Qaeda's not over here jacking people.

01:01:45.000 But cigarettes are.

01:01:46.000 Cigarettes kill 400,000 people a year.

01:01:48.000 I mean, compare something you use for... 0.96

01:01:51.000 Personal use to Al-Qaeda is ridiculous. 0.92

01:01:53.000 Absolutely. 0.90

01:01:53.000 But my point is, like, it's very dangerous. 0.90

01:01:57.000 Marijuana doesn't do that.

01:01:58.000 Even alcohol doesn't kill that many people. 0.99

01:02:00.000 Think about how fucked up alcohol gets you. 0.86

01:02:02.000 And alcohol poisoning or alcohol deaths, it's not nearly as high as cigarettes. 1.00

01:02:07.000 Cigarettes is a motherfucker. 0.99

01:02:08.000 And it's so hard to kick, right? 1.00

01:02:10.000 You went back on them, right?

01:02:12.000 Brian has kicked it a couple times.

01:02:15.000 That was a year.

01:02:15.000 He's done it a couple times, and one little thing will set that trigger off in the back of his head.

01:02:19.000 It's mostly stress stuff.

01:02:21.000 It's horrible.

01:02:22.000 But meanwhile, it's totally legal.

01:02:24.000 And did we talk about the OxyContin Express last week?

01:02:27.000 Yeah.

01:02:27.000 We did, right?

01:02:27.000 God damn.

01:02:28.000 We talked about cigarettes, too. 1.00

01:02:29.000 We talked about cigarettes?

01:02:30.000 These are important issues. 1.00

01:02:31.000 If you haven't seen the OxyContin Express, get on that shit. 1.00

01:02:34.000 Find it online. 1.00

01:02:36.000 I think it's on YouTube.

01:02:37.000 The whole thing is in...

01:02:38.000 It's one of those director's versions, so the whole thing is on YouTube.

01:02:41.000 Ha ha ha.

01:02:42.000 So this weekend you're at the Ice House.

01:02:43.000 Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

01:02:44.000 We're doing comedy this weekend. 0.99

01:02:46.000 Bitch, just making it happen. 1.00

01:02:47.000 Who's going to be? 1.00

01:02:48.000 Joey is.

01:02:49.000 Yeah, at the Ice House in Pasadena.

01:02:52.000 This Friday we're doing two shows there, and Saturday we're doing two shows.

01:02:55.000 Nice.

01:02:56.000 This guy says, DMT is not easy to extract.

01:02:58.000 Well, you ain't no super secret scientist, are you?

01:03:01.000 Ever smoke banana peels? 1.00

01:03:10.000 See these motherfuckers? 1.00

01:03:12.000 I smoked a lot of shit when I was young. 1.00

01:03:14.000 It was stupid. 1.00

01:03:15.000 I was trying to get high. 1.00

01:03:16.000 I smoked like bamboo leaves.

01:03:17.000 It was horrible.

01:03:18.000 Very harsh on the lungs, too.

01:03:22.000 Hmm.

01:03:24.000 Birds can be scary.

01:03:25.000 They are on acid.

01:03:26.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:27.000 Good point, Amazing Kush.

01:03:29.000 Yeah, birds can be scary.

01:03:30.000 Birds are scary, period, man.

01:03:32.000 You ever look at an eagle's eye?

01:03:33.000 Like, you ever seen a dude that has like a pet eagle?

01:03:35.000 They go on those talk shows and they get close up on an eagle's eye.

01:03:38.000 This girl I know just got an owl as a pet. 0.95

01:03:41.000 Those are murderers. 0.98

01:03:43.000 Owls are murderers. 1.00

01:03:44.000 I know. 0.99

01:03:44.000 It just sits in their bathroom on the shower. 0.99

01:03:48.000 Yo, that ain't cool.

01:03:49.000 That's a predator. 0.81

01:03:51.000 It's crazy.

01:03:51.000 That's a real...

01:03:52.000 Like, owls look all fluffy and cool and everything because everybody thinks about them from those goddamn Tootsie Roll commercials. 0.97

01:03:57.000 I know. 0.97

01:03:57.000 Tootsie Pops. 0.97

01:03:58.000 That's not... 1.00

01:03:59.000 No, that's a fucking predator. 1.00

01:04:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:01.000 Are you even allowed to have that as a pet?

01:04:03.000 What is it about people where we take these evil predators and we change what they are?

01:04:07.000 Right.

01:04:08.000 Like polar bears.

01:04:09.000 We got them selling, you know, ice cream and Coca-Cola. 1.00

01:04:12.000 Polar bears are fucking monsters. 1.00

01:04:15.000 Polar bears... 1.00

01:04:16.000 Cover their nose when they're sneaking up on Eskimo villages so that they can't see the black. 1.00

01:04:21.000 That's awesome.

01:04:22.000 Dude, they learned how to do that hunting seals.

01:04:25.000 They take their nose and they hang over the edge of a glacier, a floating ice raft, and they hang over the edge so that these seals don't see them.

01:04:36.000 They see white.

01:04:37.000 Everything's white.

01:04:37.000 If they see that black nose, they figured out that seals can see the black nose.

01:04:41.000 That's how fucking evil they are. 1.00

01:04:43.000 And we got them selling ice cream and Coca-Cola. 1.00

01:04:46.000 Tony the Tiger, that's great!

01:04:48.000 How about chimps, man?

01:04:49.000 B.J. and the bear, this dude tooling around with a little pet monkey.

01:04:52.000 How come B.J. and the bear, how come bear never ate anybody's face off?

01:04:56.000 How come bear never tried to bite some dude's asshole out and bite his hands off? 1.00

01:04:59.000 I think that monkey ended up doing that. 1.00

01:05:01.000 Of course it did.

01:05:02.000 Wasn't that the monkey that was retired here in Los Angeles?

01:05:05.000 Yeah, well, they always retire when they get older because you can't control the old males.

01:05:09.000 You can't control them.

01:05:11.000 Our nearest ancestors are, it doesn't matter if you raise them, they're completely wild.

01:05:16.000 You cannot stop that. 0.99

01:05:18.000 That lady just thought just because she was putting a diaper on this chimp, you know, and giving it Xanax, and she would give it wine and shit. 1.00

01:05:25.000 That was like a fake boyfriend she had. 1.00

01:05:27.000 Like this fake monkey boyfriend. 0.69

01:05:28.000 And she thought she had that thing under control. 0.95

01:05:30.000 Then he just decided to eat her friend's face. 1.00

01:05:32.000 It's like, I don't fucking like you. 1.00

01:05:34.000 I don't like you. 0.99

01:05:35.000 I mean, there was no fight.

01:05:37.000 They weren't brawling.

01:05:38.000 She didn't hit him with a rock. 0.99

01:05:40.000 She didn't do shit. 1.00

01:05:41.000 He just attacked her and ate her face. 1.00

01:05:43.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:05:45.000 I mean, even dogs don't usually do that.

01:05:47.000 You know, you get a guy who's got a crazy dog.

01:05:49.000 They don't attack your friends.

01:05:50.000 How often does that happen?

01:05:52.000 Mostly kids.

01:05:53.000 Yeah, because they think kids are animals.

01:05:55.000 They don't respect them. 1.00

01:05:59.000 All that shit about my cat really freaks me out. 1.00

01:06:02.000 Talking all that shit about my cat killing me, probably would she kill anything, you know? 1.00

01:06:07.000 If you had a little pet tiny monkey, a little monkey like that big, would you be safe leaving in the room with this fluffy cat? 1.00

01:06:13.000 Fuck no! 1.00

01:06:13.000 She'd murder that thing. 1.00

01:06:15.000 Yeah. 0.57

01:06:15.000 I'd come home with guts to be all hanging out and she'd be looking at me like, she's my friend, hi! 0.57

01:06:19.000 Not even like she's evil. 1.00

01:06:21.000 Poor little monkey, those little monkey families, she'd kill them too, the little monkey babies. 1.00

01:06:26.000 Merciless. 1.00

01:06:28.000 I bet she'd be purring, rolling around the dead bodies. 1.00

01:06:31.000 Especially with her claws. 0.94

01:06:33.000 Yeah, she's got real claws. 1.00

01:06:34.000 Yeah.

01:06:34.000 She's not declawed.

01:06:35.000 He's declawed.

01:06:37.000 They have these things I just found, I don't know if I told you this or not, where they go over the claw, you use glue, and you put glue in these little claws and it goes over the claw.

01:06:45.000 So they think they have claws still.

01:06:47.000 Yeah, we had that with him.

01:06:48.000 After a while they pop off.

01:06:50.000 They pop off?

01:06:50.000 Yeah, pop off quick.

01:06:51.000 They probably chews him off too and they start jacking everything up.

01:06:55.000 I would have let him keep his claws.

01:06:57.000 I don't care. 0.99

01:06:58.000 I think it's fucked up to take their claws. 0.99

01:07:00.000 Did you see a YouTube video? 0.99

01:07:02.000 They actually cut off a knuckle. 0.99

01:07:04.000 They cut off this part of the knuckle. 0.99

01:07:05.000 I'm not into that.

01:07:05.000 That's craziness.

01:07:08.000 My cat killed a rabbit when it was a kitten. 1.00

01:07:10.000 Damn! 1.00

01:07:13.000 That's a rough story, Asian alien. 1.00

01:07:16.000 I believe it though.

01:07:16.000 cats are ruthless I grew up in a nahood where a crow could talk His name was C.R. and he would come when called.

01:07:31.000 Wow.

01:07:32.000 You know what? 0.96

01:07:33.000 If I had never read anything about crows or watched a video, I'd be like, that guy's crazy.

01:07:37.000 Crows coming to me?

01:07:39.000 Yeah, your pet crow.

01:07:40.000 It's totally the same crow. 0.74

01:07:41.000 It's not like they're all black. 0.96

01:07:42.000 Right.

01:07:42.000 And they figured out you have food.

01:07:44.000 I find it weird when people have squirrels as pets or raccoons and stuff.

01:07:49.000 Raccoons are crazy.

01:07:50.000 Did you see that one video where the raccoon and dog are wrestling?

01:07:52.000 Yeah.

01:07:53.000 They're usually fighting to the death.

01:07:55.000 I know. 1.00

01:07:55.000 Raccoons fuck dogs up, man. 1.00

01:07:57.000 They rip them apart. 1.00

01:07:58.000 Yeah.

01:07:58.000 They're scary animals, man.

01:07:59.000 Raccoons are mean.

01:08:00.000 I see them all the time in my neighborhood.

01:08:03.000 Raccoons and skunks.

01:08:05.000 And rats.

01:08:08.000 Books we lost to history that would have changed the world.

01:08:11.000 That's a long article.

01:08:12.000 Is it good?

01:08:16.000 I'll check it out.

01:08:18.000 Alright, we're going to read some questions here.

01:08:20.000 One year, no cigarettes, this guy says.

01:08:22.000 All it cost me was a girlfriend, the dog she took, my waistline, and my sanity.

01:08:28.000 Wow. 0.99

01:08:29.000 And then you get hit by a bus tomorrow, and you're like, damn, I could have smoked. 0.98

01:08:32.000 So I guess you just didn't deserve the cigarettes after she left you, or you couldn't afford them after she left you? 0.97

01:08:36.000 Or you quit the cigarettes, and because you quit the cigarettes, you went crazy, and you were like aggro, and then she left you.

01:08:43.000 Is that what you're saying?

01:08:44.000 And then she took the dog. 0.73

01:08:47.000 You took your waistline, but the waistline, that's good, right?

01:08:49.000 You want to lose some weight?

01:08:50.000 Probably. 0.92

01:08:51.000 Unless you're like one of those dudes that's in the guts. 0.99

01:08:53.000 Apparently there's a lot of gay dudes that don't like guys with guts. 0.99

01:08:56.000 Like that. 1.00

01:08:57.000 They like to have a guy with a big gut inside his cock. 1.00

01:09:00.000 Really? 1.00

01:09:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:01.000 I think they're like...

01:09:02.000 Where are those ladies at? 1.00

01:09:03.000 Because I've got some.

01:09:04.000 I think with, you know, I mean, there's fetishes.

01:09:06.000 Just like some dudes are really into feet.

01:09:08.000 Some dudes are really into girls with specific type of toenails. 0.99

01:09:11.000 They want to come on girls' toes. 1.00

01:09:13.000 You know? 0.99

01:09:13.000 I think what gay dudes do is just get into a certain thing. 0.99

01:09:16.000 Like, they see some crazy homophobic trucker who's all methed out at the truck stop and they just wish they could just suck his cock. 1.00

01:09:24.000 Because he hates them. 1.00

01:09:25.000 You know, he hates them.

01:09:26.000 There's something about them. 1.00

01:09:27.000 It just turns the gay guy on. 0.98

01:09:29.000 That's my theory. 0.98

01:09:33.000 What?

01:09:34.000 I love people like this.

01:09:35.000 Somebody just asked, you know, they've been trying to see your tattoo for three weeks, they've been asking.

01:09:40.000 Now, wouldn't you think...

01:09:41.000 You can get it online.

01:09:42.000 You can see it online.

01:09:42.000 Yeah, what I was going to say, wouldn't this person just Google if he really cared that much Joe Rogan tattoo?

01:09:48.000 That's the kind of people I hate.

01:09:51.000 Well, I don't hate, but I hate people when they ask me all these questions. 0.99

01:09:55.000 I'm like, man, is your fucking Google broken? 1.00

01:09:57.000 That shit happens to me all the time. 0.99

01:09:58.000 Yeah, there's some people that just don't have good friends. 0.99

01:10:01.000 They don't really talk to. 0.90

01:10:02.000 You have lazy fingers.

01:10:04.000 You know, the only problem with marijuana, there is one problem with marijuana, and it's some of the marijuana community. 0.99

01:10:17.000 My pee room. 0.78

01:10:18.000 A lot of mooches.

01:10:20.000 Yeah.

01:10:21.000 You know? 1.00

01:10:23.000 A lot of mooches and dirty hippies. 1.00

01:10:27.000 Brian left. 0.99

01:10:28.000 Listen, it's just you and me now.

01:10:30.000 Do you think I should get rid of him?

01:10:34.000 Should I kick him out of the room and just have it all about us?

01:10:37.000 Say, listen, man, you did your part today.

01:10:38.000 Get out of here.

01:10:39.000 it's me my people this dude is saying I did a job CT Dirt says, I did a job and these people fed wild raccoons and they scratched at the door like a cat.

01:11:03.000 Wow, that's crazy.

01:11:05.000 That's nuts, man.

01:11:06.000 Makes sense.

01:11:07.000 I've seen squirrels that you can feed. 0.96

01:11:08.000 There's a park in North Hollywood and if you bring peanuts, especially if you lie down so the squirrel doesn't feel like you're in a threatening position to chase after them, You know, you lie down, like, on your stomach, and you hold up, and the fucking squirrel will come up to you real gingerly, make sure you're not crazy, and he'll take that peanut.

01:11:24.000 And some dudes that the squirrels know really well, they'll just sit right in front of the dude and eat his peanuts.

01:11:29.000 Like, right there.

01:11:30.000 Like, there was this one old Chinese guy that apparently goes to the park every day, and he brings peanuts.

01:11:34.000 And so he's sitting there with these peanuts.

01:11:37.000 These squirrels are coming right up to him.

01:11:39.000 They're just holding his hand while they're taking the peanut.

01:11:41.000 Like, he's their little friend.

01:11:42.000 Like, they're not worried about him at all.

01:11:43.000 It's kind of crazy.

01:11:45.000 Crazy to see.

01:11:46.000 By the way, this is that new digital camera I reviewed.

01:11:49.000 If you ever want to buy something and you know that he's reviewed it, you've got to watch his reviews.

01:11:57.000 He's crazy.

01:11:59.000 There's something wrong with him. 0.94

01:12:00.000 And he gets like super into the technical aspects of anything technology.

01:12:05.000 You know like phones and like his reviews of phones.

01:12:07.000 He kills those guys at Engadget. 1.00

01:12:09.000 Those bitches, you can't hang with Brian. 1.00

01:12:11.000 The problem is a lot of these websites are getting money. 1.00

01:12:14.000 Yes.

01:12:14.000 You know?

01:12:15.000 They're getting, like they're gonna get...

01:12:16.000 We're not saying that Engadget does.

01:12:18.000 No, no, no.

01:12:18.000 I like Engadget, I'm just kidding.

01:12:19.000 But like if they review favorably, say like an Apple product, Then the next time Apple has a product out, they'll give them an exclusive.

01:12:25.000 So it's like a lot of these websites don't want to bash or tell the truth because they don't want to ruin future products and stuff like that.

01:12:32.000 So anyways, this is a new camera. 0.98

01:12:33.000 That's how the goddamn world works. 0.99

01:12:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:12:35.000 This is a new camera.

01:12:35.000 It's HD. It's high-quality HD. 60 frames per second.

01:12:40.000 I have the whole review at redband.com.

01:12:42.000 Stereo microphone. 0.99

01:12:42.000 So if you're looking for a small digital video camera, this shit is awesome. 0.99

01:12:46.000 What's the model name, Brian? 0.99

01:12:47.000 It's Sony DSC-TX7. Redbandredban.com.

01:12:53.000 I have the whole review there.

01:12:55.000 This dude says, podcast from the sensory deprivation tank. 0.96

01:13:02.000 Maybe that would be a fucking cool thing to do. 0.93

01:13:05.000 You know what I should do? 0.98

01:13:07.000 Would it sound like that?

01:13:09.000 Is there a way that I could have something recording sound in there?

01:13:14.000 Well, you know, you can't get it wet.

01:13:18.000 I mean, we could hook a mic, put a microphone right next to it, but, I mean, it'll sound like bulls, you know, and all that stuff.

01:13:25.000 Because it's echoing in there?

01:13:26.000 Yeah.

01:13:26.000 But who wants to do it?

01:13:27.000 Oh, you mean just lay there and talk?

01:13:29.000 Yeah.

01:13:31.000 Well, we could just turn off the lights here and you can talk in the dark.

01:13:33.000 No, it won't be the same.

01:13:34.000 It won't be the same.

01:13:35.000 No, no, I'm going to totally do that.

01:13:37.000 Wouldn't that just, like, defeat the purpose of being in an isolation tank?

01:13:41.000 No, no, no.

01:13:41.000 Because you'd be too focused on talking to people?

01:13:43.000 No, no, no.

01:13:44.000 Because it would be, talking to people, your mind would work so much better than it works With, you know, sitting in a normal environment like here talking to you and sitting on a couch and the lights and the laptop and all this input coming in, you don't realize how much this has an effect on your ability to, like, see things clearly.

01:14:01.000 And you see things very, very clear in that tank.

01:14:04.000 And I think if you're in that tank and you just start talking, it's going to fuck up a little bit of the experience because you're going to hear things.

01:14:10.000 You're going to hear yourself both in your ears, you'll hear it in your ears, and you'll hear it in your head. 0.99

01:14:14.000 You've lost your mind, Joe.

01:14:16.000 No, but I think it'd be kind of cool to do it.

01:14:18.000 I will do that.

01:14:19.000 We're going to figure out a way where I can do a podcast someday from the sensory deprivation tank.

01:14:24.000 And by someday, I mean like within a month.

01:14:26.000 I don't mean like when I'm old and ready to die.

01:14:30.000 Hey, gay man, the original question three weeks ago was, why does Joe not always wear long sleeves? 0.99

01:14:34.000 Well, hey, retard, go Google that. 1.00

01:14:38.000 Because I bet you Joe's answer that. 0.98

01:14:42.000 Wow, how mean?

01:14:43.000 I thought that was totally, that really was unnecessary. 0.89

01:14:47.000 He called me gay, man.

01:14:48.000 I'm allowed to say something back. 0.70

01:14:50.000 Wow.

01:14:51.000 Don't you think? 1.00

01:14:51.000 Someone says you're an asshole, but he's, look at me. 1.00

01:14:53.000 I can't take him seriously because he says, Brian is a FKK a-hole if you ask me. 1.00

01:15:00.000 Well, I'm never going to ask you anything. 0.95

01:15:02.000 If that's what you write, an FKK a-hole, if that's really you, I can't talk to you, dude. 1.00

01:15:09.000 Brian's the third wheel. 0.88

01:15:11.000 How dare you?

01:15:12.000 Brian's a very talented video player.

01:15:13.000 Red Band has too much negative energy.

01:15:16.000 He doesn't have negative energy.

01:15:17.000 His negative energy is like the safest, most non-dangerous negative energy ever.

01:15:23.000 He's a nice guy. 1.00

01:15:24.000 Leave him alone, you fucking creeps. 1.00

01:15:26.000 Why won't Dana let you show your tat in the UFC? No, it's not that. 1.00

01:15:31.000 It's a distraction.

01:15:32.000 It's not necessary.

01:15:33.000 It's not about me.

01:15:34.000 When I'm on the UFC, it's 100% about those dudes that are fighting.

01:15:37.000 I just try to do my part, my commentary, and explain, and be enthusiastic, and be appreciative.

01:15:44.000 But it's not about me. 0.99

01:15:46.000 That's why I dress like such a retard. 0.98

01:15:48.000 I'm not trying to shine. 0.99

01:15:49.000 I'm wearing a nice suit.

01:15:51.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:15:51.000 Look at my cufflinks.

01:15:53.000 Look at them diamonds.

01:15:54.000 I'm not trying to look good at all.

01:15:56.000 I'm just trying to do my job.

01:15:58.000 What's important is not me. 0.99

01:16:00.000 What's important is these guys fucking throwing their bones at each other in the octagon. 0.99

01:16:05.000 It's not me. 0.99

01:16:09.000 What kind of weed did we smoke before the show?

01:16:10.000 Well, Mr. Federal Agent. 1.00

01:16:12.000 That's one of the funniest things that I like when someone will ask a stupid question and someone will go, like, laziest homo ever. 1.00

01:16:20.000 Laziest pedo ever. 1.00

01:16:22.000 Laziest DEA agent ever. 0.99

01:16:23.000 And it's become a standard...

01:16:26.000 I don't know who was the first one to do it, but I've seen it on many forums.

01:16:29.000 I don't know where it started from.

01:16:31.000 But so many people do that now. 0.96

01:16:33.000 Someone will ask a dumb question, and someone will chime in. 0.97

01:16:36.000 You know, chime in with that. 0.98

01:16:37.000 I mean, it's really funny.

01:16:38.000 Like, whenever people ask, like, drug questions, like, hey man, if I'm in Tallahassee, where can I get DMT? And someone will write, laziest DEA agent ever.

01:16:46.000 Right, right.

01:16:47.000 It's become a part of it.

01:16:48.000 Would you say that's the lexicon?

01:16:50.000 How would you say?

01:16:50.000 The vernacular?

01:16:56.000 What else, Brian?

01:16:57.000 Any good questions?

01:16:58.000 Uh...

01:17:02.000 What kind of weed do you smoke before a show, man?

01:17:05.000 Yo, you want to smoke?

01:17:06.000 What kind of weed you got?

01:17:07.000 The kind that comes from California.

01:17:09.000 That's the funny thing that we're talking about.

01:17:11.000 Marijuana supporting these Mexican drug hotels. 1.00

01:17:14.000 What are you talking about, stupid? 1.00

01:17:15.000 The pot that I buy is bought. 1.00

01:17:17.000 This guy's growing it right over there.

01:17:19.000 You can go to his house.

01:17:20.000 I'll show you where he lives. 1.00

01:17:21.000 Who the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:17:23.000 He's not Al-Qaeda and he's not a Mexican drug lord. 1.00

01:17:25.000 He's right down the street.

01:17:27.000 He's a nice guy.

01:17:27.000 He's got plants.

01:17:28.000 He'll sell you them.

01:17:30.000 He waters them. 1.00

01:17:31.000 He puts fertilizer and shit. 0.99

01:17:32.000 He does a great job. 1.00

01:17:34.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

01:17:35.000 And it's great. 1.00

01:17:35.000 There's a website called Weetracker.com. 1.00

01:17:39.000 We met those guys in San Francisco.

01:17:40.000 But each store has an own forum.

01:17:44.000 And so you find what store is near your house.

01:17:48.000 And then you go to this.

01:17:49.000 It has a little website just for that store.

01:17:51.000 And every day they'll say, we got Trainwreck in.

01:17:53.000 This is our specials.

01:17:55.000 And stuff like that.

01:17:56.000 And it's great.

01:17:57.000 People review it.

01:17:58.000 Oh, it's incredible.

01:17:59.000 It's amazing.

01:18:00.000 At this point, it's so free here in California that it literally is like pot is legal.

01:18:06.000 It's very close, right?

01:18:08.000 What's in between?

01:18:09.000 Well, they've passed one step of a multi-step process to making it legal for responsible use.

01:18:15.000 For adults over, you know, probably over 18 or 21. I mean, it should be over 18, I think. 0.99

01:18:21.000 I think that's reasonable.

01:18:22.000 You know, like alcohol, I think alcohol should be 18 with supervision.

01:18:28.000 Meaning, like, you know, it should be okay for, like, your dad to give you a beer when you're 18 years old, you know, or you come with your dad to a place where his buddy has a bar and, you know, just gonna come with my boy, just gonna have a beer.

01:18:38.000 He's never had a beer before.

01:18:39.000 You know, slowly introduce them into the world and make it like it's no big deal.

01:18:43.000 You gotta learn how to hold your liquor, okay?

01:18:44.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:18:45.000 Learn from your fucking father, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:18:48.000 As a young man. 1.00

01:18:50.000 Take away all the mystique of what alcohol really is.

01:18:53.000 And that should be the same thing with weed. 1.00

01:18:54.000 The real problem with Anything that affects your mind is that we don't have enough people out there that are explaining to people how to manage that shit. 0.96

01:19:03.000 And with alcoholics, at least they have Alcoholics Anonymous, and they can help guide you back on the right track, but there's no people out there that are telling you, You know, like, explaining to you how to incorporate weed successfully in your life for the maximum benefits. 0.99

01:19:17.000 You know, I mean, shit, maybe we should write a book about that. 0.99

01:19:19.000 Because it's a fucking good idea. 0.99

01:19:21.000 Because what really we need in this country, and it sounds like all spiritual crazy voodoo, but we need shaman. 0.98

01:19:28.000 And what a shaman is, in like, in the Amazon rainforest, the guys who make the ayahuasca, it's a dude who's been there, done that.

01:19:35.000 He's done it a thousand times.

01:19:37.000 He knows what to expect.

01:19:38.000 He knows what's gonna happen.

01:19:39.000 He's not scared of it.

01:19:41.000 He enjoys and welcomes the experience.

01:19:43.000 He can talk you through it. 0.95

01:19:44.000 You don't have to freak the fuck out.

01:19:45.000 This guy's going to help you. 0.86

01:19:46.000 He's going to sing songs.

01:19:47.000 He's going to comfort you.

01:19:49.000 They're going to play the drums.

01:19:50.000 And you're going to get to talk to dead people.

01:19:52.000 I mean, that's what it is.

01:19:54.000 It's a shaman.

01:19:55.000 And we need a shaman for marijuana. 0.99

01:19:56.000 And we really could use a shaman for alcohol, too.

01:19:59.000 This should be someone who culturally explains to the group.

01:20:02.000 I mean, it should be like... 0.99

01:20:03.000 Expressed as an ethic through the entire human community that it's wrong to be drunk and obnoxious and be a fucking douchebag and ruin other people's good time. 0.98

01:20:13.000 And that should be something we all agree upon. 0.99

01:20:14.000 It shouldn't be something funny like, Oh, remember that time you got drunk and ripped that girl's shirt off?

01:20:19.000 That should be horrifying to everyone involved.

01:20:23.000 All that is, is the reason why we don't address that is we have this crazy way of looking at drugs.

01:20:29.000 We look at drugs like somehow or another they're all bad.

01:20:31.000 Like they're all under this...

01:20:32.000 Same as one gigantic carpet of everything's bad for you.

01:20:36.000 It's not necessarily bad for you.

01:20:38.000 It's only bad for some people.

01:20:39.000 It's good for some people.

01:20:41.000 The experiences benefit you.

01:20:42.000 They make your life more interesting.

01:20:45.000 Should the shaman be driving while giving advice?

01:20:47.000 No.

01:20:48.000 See, that's the problem.

01:20:49.000 If you get an 18-year-old, that person just got their license two years ago. 0.99

01:20:52.000 They don't even know how to fucking drive, you know? 0.99

01:20:54.000 It's true. 1.00

01:20:54.000 They drive reckless. 1.00

01:20:55.000 Yeah.

01:20:56.000 They drive too fast and they're not good at it.

01:20:58.000 That was me.

01:20:58.000 I was a terrible driver when I was young.

01:21:00.000 So lucky I don't have a DWI. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:03.000 Did you ever get one?

01:21:04.000 No, never got one.

01:21:05.000 God, how?

01:21:07.000 Yeah.

01:21:07.000 I never drove that drunk, but I probably could have, like, you know, the legal limit is like...

01:21:13.000 It's one beer an hour, pretty much.

01:21:15.000 It's one beer, yeah.

01:21:16.000 If you have one beer and you get pulled over 20 minutes later, I bet you could probably get an hour.

01:21:20.000 Yeah.

01:21:21.000 Very borderline.

01:21:22.000 Within a half an hour, the second beer, right?

01:21:25.000 That's crazy.

01:21:26.000 But with a lot of people, that's good, man.

01:21:28.000 They really shouldn't be driving.

01:21:29.000 Anthony from Opie and Anthony has a really interesting point.

01:21:32.000 He's like, what if I'm good when I drive drunk?

01:21:35.000 But that's not a good point if you kill a kid.

01:21:37.000 You know? 0.97

01:21:38.000 You slam into a family.

01:21:39.000 Well, I would say I'm better than average driving drunk, but you know, there's no test for that.

01:21:45.000 You know? 0.99

01:21:45.000 Unfortunately, they can't just sit you down and go, okay, you gotta play fucking pole position for an hour and show me your skills. 0.99

01:21:51.000 That's another good thing about marijuana is that people are just more cautious when they're on it. 0.99

01:21:55.000 You know, people think that marijuana affects your reaction.

01:21:58.000 It doesn't.

01:21:59.000 It really doesn't.

01:21:59.000 I smoke marijuana and I do jiu-jitsu all the time.

01:22:02.000 So does Eddie Bravo.

01:22:03.000 So do like A bunch of different, like, really high-level Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guys.

01:22:08.000 Like, forget about me.

01:22:09.000 I know guys that are, like, world championship black belts that love to get high and then go do Jiu-Jitsu.

01:22:15.000 Like, it makes them connected to the movements better.

01:22:19.000 You're very coordinated when you're high.

01:22:20.000 But it's more like what we were talking about earlier with, like, being paranoid.

01:22:24.000 Paranoia is, like, too much information.

01:22:25.000 You don't know how to manage it.

01:22:27.000 It's a bad thing.

01:22:29.000 You're just getting too much info.

01:22:30.000 You're not keeping up with it.

01:22:32.000 That's where it all comes from. 0.99

01:22:34.000 Damn, check this out. 0.99

01:22:35.000 This dude's cousin was going to jail after having two DUIs, but the policeman that arrested him died. 0.99

01:22:44.000 So now there's no proof or whatever.

01:22:48.000 Oh, wow.

01:22:50.000 That's crazy luck.

01:22:53.000 For everybody but the cop.

01:22:54.000 Yeah.

01:22:56.000 Joe, you gonna be in celebrity rehab in the next few years?

01:22:59.000 Oh, totally.

01:23:00.000 Have you watched that show?

01:23:01.000 Yes, I watched one episode.

01:23:03.000 Because Stan Hope was mocking Dr. Drew, and I said, alright, let me check this out.

01:23:06.000 It's like, wow, what a train wreck.

01:23:07.000 I mean, it's fun to watch.

01:23:10.000 I'm not addicted to anything that I don't think I can stop.

01:23:13.000 I don't have a problem with anything right now.

01:23:15.000 You know, my real problem has never been drugs.

01:23:18.000 My real problem is games.

01:23:20.000 I have a serious addiction to video games and to pool.

01:23:24.000 Pool, I think, is a little bit more meditation because it's a lot of hand-eye coordination.

01:23:28.000 You have to steady your nerves and it's all controlling the ball.

01:23:33.000 But I get obsessed with games. 0.83

01:23:34.000 I used to play Quake and I used to play, no bullshit, eight hours a day at least.

01:23:40.000 Every day I was online.

01:23:41.000 I loved it.

01:23:42.000 And I'm avoiding that on purpose.

01:23:44.000 So if I had a thing that I needed to kick at any point in my life, It was never drugs.

01:23:49.000 Drugs weren't ruining my life, but video games were kind of ruining my life.

01:23:52.000 Not ruining it, but it was becoming an obsession.

01:23:55.000 The problem is I enjoyed the fuck out of it. 0.96

01:23:58.000 Quick is so goddamn fun, you know? 0.94

01:24:01.000 Have you ever tried to quit caffeine though? 0.96

01:24:03.000 What's that?

01:24:03.000 Have you ever tried to quit caffeine?

01:24:05.000 Yeah, I've quit caffeine. 1.00

01:24:06.000 That shit's hard. 1.00

01:24:06.000 It is hard. 1.00

01:24:07.000 You know, when I realized I needed to quit, I was writing a blog a day.

01:24:11.000 You know that one time before I filmed my special, I wrote a blog every day. 0.99

01:24:14.000 So I was up every night really late because that's when I write my best shit. 0.97

01:24:18.000 So every night I was drinking coffee at like 10 o'clock. 0.99

01:24:21.000 And I was, I mean, this kind of coffee too. 0.99

01:24:23.000 I don't fuck around.

01:24:24.000 I use a French press, you know, and it's like I grind my own coffee, you know, you get a burr grinder, and I get these beans only from, these Kona beans from Hawaii are my favorite. 0.99

01:24:35.000 This coffee will fuck your world up. 1.00

01:24:38.000 This shit is strong. 1.00

01:24:39.000 And I would take it at like 10 o'clock at night, and man, I couldn't get to bed until 5, 6 o'clock in the morning, and then when I finally did crash, I felt like shit the next day, and I did it a bunch of days in a row, and then I tried to stop. 1.00

01:24:51.000 And once I tried to stop, I got these serious headaches.

01:24:53.000 Like, dull, like pressing headaches.

01:24:56.000 Like, it didn't even feel like coffee could fix them.

01:24:59.000 It felt like I just, like, I short-circuited my brain or something. 0.97

01:25:02.000 What the fuck is calling me to do my podcast? 1.00

01:25:06.000 What the fuck kind of bullshit is this? 1.00

01:25:08.000 I'm calling me to do my goddamn podcast. 1.00

01:25:11.000 I don't know the post. 0.99

01:25:15.000 I'm not answering that.

01:25:17.000 My apologies, ladies and gentlemen.

01:25:20.000 Don't you feel less energy doing exercising after you smoke weed?

01:25:25.000 No.

01:25:26.000 I'm the opposite.

01:25:27.000 Especially if it's a good sativa.

01:25:29.000 That's what people don't know.

01:25:30.000 People that are outside of California, most of what you're getting is called indica.

01:25:34.000 And indica is a very different kind of marijuana than sativa.

01:25:38.000 There's two types.

01:25:39.000 There's indica, which is like relaxed couch weed.

01:25:42.000 Like, yo, dude, just go and chill.

01:25:45.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:25:45.000 That's OG Kush weed.

01:25:47.000 That's the weed that makes you want to eat and fuck up your diet. 1.00

01:25:49.000 Man, fuck the diet, you know? 1.00

01:25:51.000 But sativa is, I want to watch a documentary. 1.00

01:25:54.000 Sativa is, you know, you want to watch The Cosmos and see Carl Sagan on TV. Carl Sagan, by the way, smoked pot every day.

01:26:01.000 That was his shit. 1.00

01:26:02.000 Carl Sagan was a huge activist and advocate of marijuana and enhancing perceptions with it. 1.00

01:26:09.000 Bitch! 1.00

01:26:09.000 This guy, the chit. 1.00

01:26:12.000 I understand that you and Brian had a little falling out, okay?

01:26:15.000 Let's just be nice, fella.

01:26:17.000 There's no need to get crazy.

01:26:19.000 People are so emo.

01:26:22.000 Yeah, there's a lot of emo people.

01:26:24.000 The Mark Gaden.

01:26:25.000 I wonder which guy's got the Mark Gaden now.

01:26:27.000 A lot of people have the Mark Gaden.

01:26:29.000 It's Mark!

01:26:29.000 No.

01:26:30.000 I heard it's not.

01:26:32.000 Sounds like it. 1.00

01:26:33.000 A lot of goddamn questions. 1.00

01:26:34.000 This guy says, I grow two strains of sativa. 1.00

01:26:36.000 You're right, Joe.

01:26:37.000 First of all, don't ever say you're and spell it like that.

01:26:40.000 You are.

01:26:41.000 You, Y-O-U. And he didn't spell you are, which is the gayest way ever. 1.00

01:26:44.000 What are you, a little girl texting you're? 1.00

01:26:47.000 I hate that. 0.52

01:26:48.000 Y-O-U. And it's not an R. There's an apostrophe and then there's an RE. It's short for UR. It's not short for something I own, you motherfucker.

01:26:57.000 Have you been playing Quake Live at all? 1.00

01:27:00.000 I've fucked that up all the time, though.

01:27:02.000 You're?

01:27:03.000 Sometimes I do it and I'm like...

01:27:04.000 Make a mistake.

01:27:05.000 You're writing.

01:27:06.000 Especially if you can type fairly quickly. 0.99

01:27:08.000 Things come out all fucked up. 0.97

01:27:09.000 So I was thinking about getting a regular phone. 0.97

01:27:11.000 A skinny, like, Razer phone.

01:27:12.000 Right.

01:27:13.000 On Verizon Network.

01:27:14.000 And then getting the iPad.

01:27:18.000 So if I'm out in my car, let's pull out my iPad, have a better internet, but have a solid phone.

01:27:24.000 Hmm.

01:27:25.000 Go back.

01:27:26.000 So you're going to go back.

01:27:27.000 Go back, I think.

01:27:28.000 What if someone sends you a picture or a video on your phone? 1.00

01:27:31.000 Some asshole. 1.00

01:27:32.000 Well, all those do that now. 1.00

01:27:33.000 Oh my god, you can't believe this.

01:27:34.000 Check this out.

01:27:34.000 All those do that now.

01:27:35.000 Yeah?

01:27:35.000 You know?

01:27:36.000 Why did they go with AT&T? Well, you don't have to.

01:27:39.000 You don't?

01:27:40.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:27:42.000 No one's thinking of this.

01:27:42.000 They have those MiFis now.

01:27:44.000 So you just have your MiFi that has Verizon Network and now you have Verizon anywhere you go.

01:27:48.000 You know?

01:27:49.000 Really?

01:27:50.000 Yeah, they have these boxes that connect and then broadcast wireless.

01:27:54.000 It's called MiFi.

01:27:54.000 Remember I showed you them?

01:27:55.000 Right.

01:27:56.000 They're about this big.

01:27:57.000 So if you have a little case, like a statue, that you have your iPad in, just have that, throw that in there, turn it on, and you have Verizon wherever you go. 1.00

01:28:04.000 Look at this motherfucker just hacking the system, bitches. 1.00

01:28:08.000 Yeah, and that's another thing that's going to be big. 1.00

01:28:09.000 Man purses are going to have to come back because of this thing. 1.00

01:28:12.000 You know?

01:28:13.000 Man purses.

01:28:14.000 You're a big advocate of the man purse.

01:28:15.000 I actually bought a domain name.

01:28:17.000 I told you I was addicted to domain names.

01:28:19.000 I bought iPad Sling.

01:28:21.000 So if you know anyone that wants to buy those... 0.99

01:28:24.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:28:26.000 You know anyone that makes purses? 1.00

01:28:28.000 Alright, just my laptop. 0.95

01:28:29.000 No, I don't know anybody who makes purses, goddammit.

01:28:33.000 I don't wear a man bag. 1.00

01:28:35.000 Those man pouch, those man bags, they look like a fucking purse to me. 0.99

01:28:40.000 A fanny pack looks like a manly choice. 0.99

01:28:42.000 A fanny pack doesn't, though. 1.00

01:28:43.000 You wear a fanny pack, clip that bitch in, all your stuff is right there. 1.00

01:28:47.000 If somebody wants something, you just unzip and you get it to them, it's right there. 0.99

01:28:50.000 See, I like my little man purse because it's made for guns.

01:28:54.000 So it looks like a gun satchel, but it would fit the iPad.

01:28:58.000 It doesn't look like it's for a gun.

01:29:00.000 It looks like it's for jewelry.

01:29:01.000 No, it doesn't.

01:29:02.000 I have a review of that somewhere.

01:29:03.000 And lipstick and mirrors. 1.00

01:29:06.000 Yeah, but you like stepdad style.

01:29:10.000 You got like the, hey, let's go to Disney. 1.00

01:29:14.000 Big manly ass fucking fanny pack. 1.00

01:29:17.000 I like fanny packs. 1.00

01:29:18.000 I wear them all the time.

01:29:19.000 You should have a fanny pack company and then you could also sell iPad slings.

01:29:23.000 I don't want to sell an iPad sling, Brian.

01:29:25.000 I'm not buying the iPad.

01:29:26.000 But if I didn't have a Kindle, I would see what you're saying.

01:29:30.000 And what if you want to buy a portable DVD player for the car or something?

01:29:34.000 You want a good one though.

01:29:36.000 Wouldn't you pay a little extra if you could download the movies while you're in the car?

01:29:39.000 Okay, first of all, how dope would it be if you had a screen in your car that's that big?

01:29:44.000 No, you can do that.

01:29:45.000 You can make that screen in your car and install it as a screen?

01:29:47.000 Yeah, you could totally do that.

01:29:48.000 I was thinking that on the way over.

01:29:49.000 Imagine that, GPU. That might be the greatest thing ever.

01:29:52.000 And it's got Bluetooth.

01:29:54.000 How many inches is that?

01:29:55.000 It's 9.7 inches across.

01:29:56.000 It's so thin, they could just fit it right in your car if you had your dashboard fitted for it.

01:30:01.000 Right.

01:30:01.000 Whoa.

01:30:02.000 You know what's really funny is a lot of people are bashing on it that's not widescreen.

01:30:06.000 Well, alright, there's going to be the bar on the top and the bottom.

01:30:09.000 So they wanted it widescreen.

01:30:10.000 So what do you mean?

01:30:11.000 They wanted them to chop off the top and bottom or make it bigger. 1.00

01:30:15.000 If you make it bigger, then that thing would be this big but widescreen?

01:30:18.000 So it's like a letterbox thing when you watch a video.

01:30:21.000 You see a little black strip.

01:30:23.000 But that's what they had to do.

01:30:24.000 That's what they had to do, man.

01:30:25.000 Duh.

01:30:26.000 They had to do it, man.

01:30:26.000 People don't get widescreen.

01:30:28.000 They don't get it.

01:30:29.000 It definitely is better to have something that you can read books and watch movies on, if you look at it that way.

01:30:35.000 And video games!

01:30:36.000 It still is not that appealing to me because I already have a laptop.

01:30:39.000 And if I'm going to spend time, what is it going to give me that the laptop is not going to?

01:30:43.000 I can watch movies on the laptop.

01:30:45.000 I wish movies on that.

01:30:46.000 What else can I do?

01:30:47.000 I can get online on that.

01:30:48.000 I can get online on my laptop better.

01:30:50.000 So what am I doing with it?

01:30:52.000 The applications?

01:30:53.000 Really?

01:30:54.000 Am I? No.

01:30:55.000 Alright.

01:30:55.000 It's the size of a book.

01:30:56.000 So what they're saying is that what if you use it like you have a Razer phone in your pocket and you go into the comedy club and you have this little thing the size of a little notepad.

01:31:03.000 It's in a little leather pouch. 0.99

01:31:05.000 Well, you can't even keep that bitch in your pocket. 1.00

01:31:06.000 You're going to pretend that you're going to carry that thing around with you everywhere? 1.00

01:31:08.000 Well, no, no.

01:31:09.000 You just throw it in the car.

01:31:10.000 It looks like a little book.

01:31:11.000 It's a little book.

01:31:12.000 You know?

01:31:13.000 So you throw it in the car so that you can use it when you're out?

01:31:15.000 When you're out?

01:31:17.000 If you have it in the...

01:31:18.000 Like Steve Jobs...

01:31:19.000 People are going to bring those things to restaurants and instead of texting, they're going to be sitting there watching a little movie?

01:31:24.000 Yeah, little books.

01:31:26.000 Doing little emails.

01:31:28.000 Checking their calendars. 1.00

01:31:29.000 Steve Jobs, you bastard. 0.99

01:31:31.000 I think people are bashing it and freaking out about it because there's a couple things that it doesn't do flash and stuff, but that's another reason. 1.00

01:31:38.000 Steve Jobs is fucking us up, man. 0.52

01:31:39.000 I think once that thing's on the market, people are going to go crazy for it. 0.98

01:31:43.000 It's technology.

01:31:44.000 Alright, let's read some questions from these people.

01:31:47.000 Gears of War. 0.98

01:31:48.000 Fuck yeah, that game is awesome. 0.99

01:31:51.000 That's another game. 1.00

01:31:52.000 I'm scared of that game.

01:31:54.000 I don't want to get locked in that world. 1.00

01:31:56.000 I'm playing that shit online every day. 1.00

01:31:58.000 Too fun, man. 1.00

01:31:59.000 Remember, we got a chance to see that early on.

01:32:02.000 We got a chance.

01:32:03.000 We were in North Carolina, and I met Cliffy B from Epic Games.

01:32:08.000 And he got us in, and we got a look at the models of Gears of War way before it was released. 0.96

01:32:13.000 It was fucking crazy. 0.81

01:32:14.000 And the new stuff they're working on, these new enemies, they're so insane. 0.98

01:32:19.000 He showed us a demo of some of the stuff, and the guys at id Software did too.

01:32:23.000 Tim Willits and Todd Hollingshead and John Carmack and those guys.

01:32:28.000 Those guys are super cool.

01:32:29.000 They let us come and check out all the new stuff they're doing.

01:32:32.000 That's my favorite all-time game is Quake.

01:32:33.000 But like I said, I'm scared.

01:32:35.000 Did you know that they did a report on browser crashes on computers?

01:32:41.000 Yeah.

01:32:41.000 And I think it was 85% of all browser crashes were because of Flash.

01:32:48.000 Whoa.

01:32:49.000 That's a big number.

01:32:51.000 Whoa.

01:32:52.000 85%.

01:32:53.000 Because other than Flash, you got JavaScript, you got a couple things, but 85%.

01:32:57.000 That's crazy.

01:32:58.000 How is that allowed?

01:32:59.000 Yeah.

01:33:01.000 That's just it.

01:33:01.000 People are freaking out about something.

01:33:02.000 It's a plug-in.

01:33:03.000 You know?

01:33:04.000 HTML 5.0 is about to come out, which will make Flash pretty much unnecessary.

01:33:09.000 Why?

01:33:09.000 How does it make Flash unnecessary?

01:33:11.000 Well, see, the problem is they started using Flash back in the day because that was an easy way to take video, put it on the internet so anyone can watch it because people's internet connections kind of sucked and, you know, and it was in one format.

01:33:23.000 What HTML 5.0 does is pretty much make, I think it's H2.64.

01:33:27.000 Like, video will just play in the browser, kind of like how a GIF works.

01:33:32.000 An animated GIF will work no matter what because it's made in the coding of the browser.

01:33:37.000 So this will make videos and stuff like that just be in the coding and just work.

01:33:44.000 Guess who's editing the HTML5.0 coding?

01:33:51.000 This is kind of interesting.

01:33:53.000 A guy that works at Google and a guy that works at Apple.

01:33:58.000 So you have long had this theory that there's a battle going on between Apple and Flash, and you think that one of the reasons why Apple has such a hard time working with Flash is to make it shitty on purpose so that people move away from Flash.

01:34:12.000 Well, I think that's a good theory, definitely.

01:34:15.000 But the big thing is that no one in Silicon Valley works together.

01:34:21.000 Amazon and Apple, and they're all not working together as a team.

01:34:25.000 They're all having to fight and do the opposite of what this person's doing. 0.99

01:34:31.000 If Flash releases a new plugin that works with Firefox or whatever, but doesn't work for Safari, They're trying to work for Safari, but Safari changes something, and then it fucks all their shit up.

01:34:42.000 It's constantly like that with everything in Silicon Valley.

01:34:45.000 Because they don't work together.

01:34:46.000 They don't work together.

01:34:46.000 Do you just think it's odd that they're working together?

01:34:48.000 Are you sensing a conspiracy, Brian?

01:34:50.000 If so, please say it.

01:34:51.000 I'm sensing Flash is getting pushed out for some reason, mostly because of the security reasons.

01:34:55.000 It's very open for you can get hacked in security with Flash and stuff like that.

01:35:02.000 I think it's getting pushed out, especially when HTML5.0 comes out, which is probably coming soon.

01:35:08.000 HTML 5.0 can't do what Flash does, buddy, and it's proprietary codec.

01:35:13.000 It's...

01:35:13.000 what?

01:35:14.000 This is what this guy says.

01:35:16.000 Filbert 007. Yeah, go Google search HTML 5.0, go look at Wikipedia or whatever, and it'll even explain it in there.

01:35:26.000 It's pretty much known that once HTML 5.0 comes out, that Flash, for the most part, is going to be hurting.

01:35:33.000 Okay, well, the gauntlet's been thrown down.

01:35:36.000 A challenge has been made.

01:35:39.000 YouTube has already switched over all their videos to 5.0.

01:35:42.000 What is this guy asking?

01:35:43.000 So has Vimeo.

01:35:44.000 Vimeo.com, I believe, just switched over to 5.0.

01:35:48.000 To 5.0 ready.

01:35:49.000 Meaning that's why YouTube now works on your iPhone.

01:35:52.000 Hold on a second.

01:35:52.000 This guy's asking a question.

01:35:53.000 What's with the censoring on this social message board?

01:35:56.000 What is the censor?

01:35:57.000 It's like if you try to Twitter something and you swear on this, will it change it?

01:36:03.000 Maybe. 0.99

01:36:03.000 Is that why that guy wrote that fucking like that? 0.99

01:36:06.000 Oh, maybe. 1.00

01:36:06.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:36:07.000 Is that true, folks?

01:36:08.000 You can't swear on this?

01:36:10.000 It's probably a setting if there is.

01:36:13.000 It has to be a setting.

01:36:14.000 Please tell me it's a setting.

01:36:18.000 That is, you know, people don't think that's a big deal.

01:36:20.000 Like, I always make a big deal out of the fact that, you know, censorship of certain words, you know, and people say, what's the big deal?

01:36:25.000 You know, why do you have to be rude?

01:36:27.000 Why can't you just, you know, not say those particular words when you're around certain people or in certain situations?

01:36:31.000 Like, that's a way of controlling us.

01:36:33.000 It's nonsense.

01:36:34.000 It makes no sense whatsoever.

01:36:36.000 Words don't mean anything other than intention.

01:36:39.000 What's important is that you're expressing your intention.

01:36:41.000 You're expressing what you're thinking.

01:36:43.000 The idea of magic words is...

01:36:45.000 It's poison to the language.

01:36:48.000 It's terrible.

01:36:49.000 To have words that you can't use around certain people and you can't use when you broadcast them, you'll be fined hundreds of thousands of dollars.

01:36:57.000 That is just a gigantic distraction that's complete, total mind control.

01:37:03.000 It's a technique that they're using to try to control the population.

01:37:07.000 There's no other way around it.

01:37:09.000 Why else?

01:37:10.000 Censorship is what?

01:37:11.000 It offends people?

01:37:12.000 Why does it offend people?

01:37:13.000 You don't have to listen to it.

01:37:14.000 The government's going after it.

01:37:16.000 Why are they going after it?

01:37:17.000 They're going after it because some people are very offended by it, whether it's religious people or really conservative people.

01:37:23.000 But why?

01:37:24.000 Why are they offended by it?

01:37:25.000 It's nonsense. 1.00

01:37:26.000 It's a fucking huge distraction. 1.00

01:37:28.000 It's just a word. 1.00

01:37:29.000 Whether you say, I fucked her or I had sex with her, you can't say, I fucked her. 0.99

01:37:34.000 Is that really hurting someone's feelings? 1.00

01:37:36.000 So what happened on the night that you proposed to your wife? 1.00

01:37:39.000 Well, I fucked her. 1.00

01:37:41.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:37:42.000 Is that bad? 0.99

01:37:43.000 Well, I had sex with her. 1.00

01:37:44.000 It's the same thing. 0.99

01:37:45.000 You're saying the same thing. 0.99

01:37:46.000 It's not offending me if you say you fucked her. 1.00

01:37:49.000 If you say, ow, that fucking hurt. 1.00

01:37:51.000 I'm not going to get... 0.99

01:37:52.000 Why would I be upset? 1.00

01:37:53.000 What kind of a douchebag gets upset if you stub your toe and you go, ow, that fucking hurt. 1.00

01:37:58.000 Who gets mad at that? 1.00

01:37:59.000 Who the fuck thinks that's wrong to say? 0.99

01:38:02.000 It's a trick. 0.98

01:38:05.000 Yeah, but if we didn't do that, then words wouldn't be as powerful as they are now.

01:38:09.000 They would be just as powerful if you used it the right way. 1.00

01:38:11.000 Yeah, maybe you're like, fuck you! 1.00

01:38:12.000 You're like, eh, whatever, I heard fuck you five times a day. 1.00

01:38:14.000 You hear fuck you five times a day already, dude. 1.00

01:38:17.000 That's the problem. 1.00

01:38:19.000 If it was, like, some exotic word that nobody used, like, like, cunt still has a good amount of zing to it. 0.96

01:38:24.000 It's the only one, you know, other than racial epitaphs. 0.90

01:38:27.000 There has to be a way to turn off the censoring thing, right?

01:38:29.000 I don't know, ladies and gentlemen.

01:38:30.000 Is there a way to turn it off?

01:38:32.000 The social stream appears to be censored. 0.99

01:38:34.000 Because why would they censor that, but yet I could say funk, fuck, cunt bag right now, and that's even worse than typing. 1.00

01:38:39.000 I don't know, man. 1.00

01:38:40.000 It's how you say it, this man says.

01:38:44.000 When I let my kid curse. 1.00

01:38:46.000 Fuck yeah, it's just words, goddammit. 1.00

01:38:49.000 People are so weird. 1.00

01:38:50.000 Wow, you really are censored.

01:38:51.000 I don't see a single swear.

01:38:52.000 No one can swear.

01:38:53.000 No.

01:38:53.000 Everyone has to write the effing...

01:38:55.000 I think it's Twitter.

01:38:57.000 It's not Twitter.

01:38:57.000 That's nuts.

01:38:59.000 It must be Ustream.

01:39:00.000 Yeah, it's totally Ustream.

01:39:01.000 But it might be just a setting.

01:39:03.000 You could say anything on Twitter.

01:39:05.000 Okay, well, that dude who was talking earlier with TH Chitt and we were giving you a hard time with the radio wrote something, I completely apologize, sir.

01:39:13.000 I was out of line. 0.96

01:39:14.000 I did not know that you actually couldn't write the word fuck and you had to write all that other nonsense. 0.96

01:39:20.000 My apologies, kind sir. 0.97

01:39:23.000 Alright.

01:39:24.000 So it doesn't look like you can turn it off, or at least no one's saying anything.

01:39:30.000 Teach that to a kid and have him repeat it in school.

01:39:32.000 I don't know what this question was about, sir.

01:39:35.000 Okay, well thank you, Austin Curtis.

01:39:38.000 Austin C. Curtis.

01:39:39.000 Because if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't even have known that it is censored. 0.99

01:39:45.000 This guy says the Bible is just rubbish.

01:39:47.000 English people have such cool things to say. 1.00

01:39:49.000 Rubbish? 0.98

01:39:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:50.000 I mean, that sounds fucking cool. 1.00

01:39:51.000 Yeah, but they have some gay things that they say. 0.99

01:39:52.000 Yeah, they go to the loo. 0.99

01:39:54.000 They have to take a leak.

01:39:55.000 But you know what my favorite is?

01:39:56.000 Proper.

01:39:57.000 You know, like if something like, oh, that's a proper sports car.

01:40:00.000 Yeah, proper.

01:40:01.000 Yeah, I like that.

01:40:02.000 I like that.

01:40:03.000 I like when they say that.

01:40:04.000 There's something that sounds dope about that.

01:40:06.000 Nah, that's a proper cell phone.

01:40:08.000 Did you see it on the telly? 1.00

01:40:10.000 Fuck you and the telly. 1.00

01:40:11.000 Well, the telly doesn't bother me that much. 1.00

01:40:14.000 I like England though, man.

01:40:15.000 I enjoy it over there.

01:40:16.000 Doing comedy over there is fun. 0.97

01:40:18.000 They're fucking cool. 0.94

01:40:19.000 It's like our comedy translates directly to them. 0.99

01:40:23.000 Their comedy doesn't translate the same.

01:40:25.000 You know, like, their stand-ups don't translate as...

01:40:28.000 Some of them make it over here.

01:40:29.000 I mean, obviously, um, uh, Sacha Baron Cohen, who, in my opinion, is one of the funniest guys of all time, but he's not really a stand-a-domic.

01:40:37.000 He's, like, a crazy prankster, hilarious guy, you know? 0.95

01:40:41.000 Did you see somebody was fucking a chicken on a subway yesterday? 0.99

01:40:44.000 And somebody recorded it on video, just like, you know, how Sacha... 0.98

01:40:47.000 Oh, it's one of the signs of the apocalypse.

01:40:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:49.000 That shit is. 1.00

01:40:50.000 I think it's on DListed.com. 1.00

01:40:52.000 How did it get hard?

01:40:54.000 How did it get hard? 1.00

01:40:55.000 Oh, you can say cunt if you space it out. 1.00

01:40:57.000 This guy wrote cunt. 1.00

01:40:57.000 It's a great word. 1.00

01:40:58.000 He spaced it out. 1.00

01:40:59.000 You clever bastard. 1.00

01:41:01.000 It's just like Battlestar Galactica. 1.00

01:41:02.000 They just start changing the words.

01:41:03.000 They'll be farking.

01:41:04.000 That was the craziest thing ever on Battlestar Galactica. 0.93

01:41:07.000 What the frack?

01:41:08.000 What the frack?

01:41:09.000 You could really say that?

01:41:11.000 I mean... 1.00

01:41:12.000 So dumb. 1.00

01:41:14.000 It just shows you how dumb it is that we still have magic words that you can't say. 1.00

01:41:22.000 Yeah, people having sex with chickens is freaky. 0.99

01:41:25.000 You've seen chicken porn, right? 0.99

01:41:26.000 I think that egg hole is supposed to feel real good. 1.00

01:41:31.000 It's weird that some animals, like what, sheep, are supposed to have a perfect feeling vagina. 0.99

01:41:37.000 It's supposed to be just like a real one. 0.98

01:41:39.000 Yeah, sheep supposedly.

01:41:41.000 Which is weird.

01:41:42.000 I know, right?

01:41:43.000 That was, what, Jesus' pet growing up, right? 1.00

01:41:46.000 Yeah, banging sheeps and shit. 0.99

01:41:47.000 This dude is pretty funny. 0.99

01:41:48.000 Z the Dirty Banana says, my brother-in-law's a Brit. 0.99

01:41:52.000 I like when he says, proper fucked. 1.00

01:41:54.000 Like, when describing trash. 1.00

01:41:56.000 I fucked a proper. 1.00

01:41:57.000 That's totally how they would say it. 1.00

01:41:59.000 Mate, I was proper fucked. 1.00

01:42:02.000 Come on, that's a cool fucking thing to say. 1.00

01:42:04.000 Proper fucked. 0.99

01:42:05.000 That's, and you have to say that, but that's like something you have to say with an English accent. 1.00

01:42:10.000 You didn't say like, yeah, I was out there, we were getting drinking, we had a fucking drink on, listen, I was proper fucked. 0.97

01:42:16.000 You were like, what? 0.99

01:42:18.000 People go, what? 1.00

01:42:19.000 Fucking shy, cunt. 1.00

01:42:21.000 I was proper fucked. 1.00

01:42:23.000 Yeah, and the way they say cunt is so much better. 1.00

01:42:25.000 Cunt. 1.00

01:42:25.000 They say cunt constantly. 1.00

01:42:27.000 Cunt. 1.00

01:42:27.000 Fucking cunt with a fucking cunt. 1.00

01:42:29.000 Like, cunt is not as strong over there as it is over here. 1.00

01:42:33.000 Because they say it all the time. 0.99

01:42:34.000 It's like, they're way more liberal with the use of the word cunt. 1.00

01:42:36.000 Chicks throw cunts around all the time. 1.00

01:42:38.000 Cunt. 1.00

01:42:39.000 I hung out... 1.00

01:42:39.000 Give me a fucking cunt and cigarette. 1.00

01:42:41.000 Cunting is a great word. 1.00

01:42:43.000 When cunt's not good enough, it's cunting. 1.00

01:42:45.000 You know? 1.00

01:42:46.000 It's like, it takes cunt deeper. 1.00

01:42:48.000 It's like, you're so bored with saying cunt. 1.00

01:42:51.000 You say cunt so often that you add an ing on the end of it. 1.00

01:42:54.000 That's how hard you roll. 1.00

01:42:56.000 Fucking cunting cigarette. 1.00

01:42:57.000 You know, you say that, man? 1.00

01:42:59.000 Fag. 1.00

01:42:59.000 Someone's used to cunt. 1.00

01:43:00.000 Cunting fag? 1.00

01:43:01.000 I need to smoke a fag. 1.00

01:43:02.000 We need a stoner president that would get things done. 1.00

01:43:05.000 Supposedly, there's a picture of Obama smoking a joint.

01:43:07.000 Yeah.

01:43:08.000 But I don't know if it's a joint.

01:43:09.000 There's no way to tell.

01:43:10.000 There's no way to tell.

01:43:13.000 He's definitely smoked weed before, but man, I don't think there's any way he could be doing it now.

01:43:19.000 First of all, yeah, we do need a president that sees other ways of looking at things.

01:43:24.000 That's what we need.

01:43:25.000 Whether a president's a yoga master and he does it, you know, all naturally, or whether our president's a stoner, or whether our president's a guy who likes to go into the jungle and take ayahuasca with a shaman.

01:43:36.000 We need someone who has a leader's way of seeing the world.

01:43:40.000 Someone who sees it outside of this crazy, predetermined pattern that we're on right now.

01:43:45.000 You know, I mean, I wrote this article about...

01:43:48.000 It's on my blog about the Large Hadron Collider and how crazy it is that, like, at a certain point in time, science got to this weird point.

01:43:55.000 And I'm not trashing it in any way because I'm fascinated by technology.

01:43:58.000 I'm just making an observation that when we first started inventing things, it was to improve the quality of our life.

01:44:03.000 You know, we invented spears so that we didn't have to chase after the animals and bite them with our teeth.

01:44:08.000 You know, we invented things.

01:44:09.000 We invented houses so we survive under the rain.

01:44:12.000 But at a certain point in time, it got completely... 0.97

01:44:16.000 Past that, and now, even though we have all sorts of things to deal with with the human race, like poverty and what's going on in Haiti and Liberia, the Vice Guide to Liberia, if you haven't seen that document, god damn! 0.99

01:44:28.000 These fucking dudes went to Liberia, which is this crazy nation in Africa that has rampant cannibalism. 0.99

01:44:36.000 People are constantly killing each other and eating each other. 1.00

01:44:38.000 They're selling human meat on the street.

01:44:40.000 I mean, this one dude talked about it.

01:44:42.000 He was this warlord. 1.00

01:44:43.000 They called him General butt naked and this fucking crazy guy would kill babies and he talks about it. 1.00

01:44:50.000 How he would kill innocent children from the opposing tribe or whoever the fuck they were at war with, cut out their heart and they would all eat the heart and it would strengthen them for battle and make them invulnerable to bullets. 1.00

01:45:01.000 He ate a lot of people. 1.00

01:45:03.000 I mean, this guy talks openly about eating people, about what you eat.

01:45:06.000 If you're hungry, for hunger you eat like the soft part, like the stomach and the inside of the thigh because it's tender.

01:45:12.000 I mean, he's talking about like what you eat, what part of a person.

01:45:16.000 He was talking about how he turned this guy in, he was eating street food, like he bought some chicken skewers or something, and it was human meat, and he could tell because he's eaten it so many times, so he explained to the police that this guy's serving human food, and you have him arrested, and now the guy's like a crazy evangelist.

01:45:32.000 And he preaches in front of all these people.

01:45:34.000 He's killed thousands of people.

01:45:36.000 What's the name of that documentary?

01:45:37.000 The Vice Guide to Liberia.

01:45:39.000 Yeah, text that or tweet that.

01:45:41.000 A lot of people are asking that.

01:45:41.000 Jesus Christ, I gotta tweet that.

01:45:43.000 I mean, one of the craziest fucking things I've ever seen. 0.99

01:45:47.000 You know what's weird is that Obama still struggles with his cigarette addiction. 0.99

01:45:52.000 You know?

01:45:52.000 He's always talking about that.

01:45:54.000 How he just started back up and stuff.

01:45:55.000 Alright, I'm gonna post...

01:45:56.000 One of eight posted up on Twitter right now.

01:46:00.000 You gotta have to find them.

01:46:02.000 The site is very clunky, the Vice Guide site.

01:46:06.000 These guys that put the site together, it's...

01:46:10.000 They didn't do such a great job putting the site together, but the footage is incredible.

01:46:16.000 What they're doing is just amazing.

01:46:19.000 They're getting deep into this.

01:46:22.000 Liberia is literally like a scene in a horror movie.

01:46:27.000 They went to a brothel in Liberia, and it's just like Saw.

01:46:31.000 It literally is.

01:46:32.000 It's like Hostel.

01:46:33.000 It's insane.

01:46:35.000 And it's real, and it's happening right now.

01:46:37.000 I'm posting it up on Twitter right now.

01:46:39.000 This is the first one.

01:46:40.000 this is part one but it's it really will change.

01:46:50.000 The apocalypse is here.

01:46:51.000 It just hasn't hit America.

01:46:53.000 It's here.

01:46:54.000 It's in Mexico.

01:46:55.000 It's in Liberia.

01:46:57.000 It's in Haiti right now. 1.00

01:46:59.000 It's all over the fucking world. 1.00

01:47:00.000 Big, crazy shit is happening all over the world. 1.00

01:47:03.000 This is not happening in America yet. 0.99

01:47:05.000 You look at how Liberia is, that's going to change the way you look at everything. 1.00

01:47:09.000 The fact that this could go on today, in 2010, and not even have it be a subject that makes the 5 o'clock news, that it's more important to find out some new girl that Tiger Woods fucked, I mean, really. 0.96

01:47:22.000 There's people in Liberia that are eating people on a regular basis. 0.99

01:47:26.000 It's fucking crazy. 1.00

01:47:28.000 Wait until you watch this. 1.00

01:47:29.000 They show it.

01:47:30.000 They show a guy with a human heart.

01:47:31.000 They show a kid, a young kid, talking about, oh, that's the good meat.

01:47:36.000 That's the good meat.

01:47:37.000 The person...

01:47:37.000 They're talking about eating your enemies.

01:47:40.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:47:41.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

01:47:44.000 It's pretty heavy shit. 1.00

01:47:46.000 All right. 1.00

01:47:49.000 Fuck, Joe. 1.00

01:47:51.000 Put your home phone on vibrate. 1.00

01:47:57.000 Alright.

01:47:58.000 I just can't.

01:47:59.000 Oh, what happened?

01:48:01.000 It went away.

01:48:04.000 I apologize, ladies and gentlemen.

01:48:06.000 My bad. 0.97

01:48:08.000 Damn, I was going to ask you something, but I totally... 0.99

01:48:10.000 Well, you know what? 1.00

01:48:10.000 You see me every day, motherfucker. 1.00

01:48:12.000 Let's get some questions from these folks who don't even know me. 0.99

01:48:14.000 Well, I've been trying to ask you questions from these questions.

01:48:17.000 Oh, okay.

01:48:18.000 But now I forget what I was going to ask you.

01:48:19.000 It's a fine line, ladies and gentlemen, between letting the rant come out, letting the ramble, and I want to answer your questions.

01:48:25.000 But, you know, every now and then I get something, a rant comes, and I think for entertainment purposes it's best to roll with it.

01:48:32.000 Have you talked to Stan Hope lately?

01:48:33.000 I have not seen Paranormal Activity, but I want to.

01:48:35.000 I haven't talked to Stan Hope in a while.

01:48:38.000 Last time I talked to him was probably a couple months ago.

01:48:41.000 He was telling me he was going to come into LA and we were going to try to schedule a crackle.

01:48:47.000 The show that never goes anywhere.

01:48:49.000 We have to do that soon, man.

01:48:51.000 Let's get cracking, son.

01:48:53.000 Seriously.

01:48:53.000 The crackle show?

01:48:54.000 Yeah.

01:48:56.000 We can't tell you what it is.

01:48:57.000 Yeah.

01:48:58.000 Um, do you watch the Pakistan gun market thing on Vice TV? No, the only thing I've seen on Vice TV right now is that Liberia thing, but that fucking, what those guys are doing is incredible, and I've heard all their videos are incredible. 0.91

01:49:11.000 Vice Guide to Liberia. 0.97

01:49:13.000 I just posted it on Twitter, but if you just go to vbs.tv, that's their website, and they have so much different shit there. 0.96

01:49:21.000 It's incredible. 0.99

01:49:22.000 These guys have giant cast iron balls. 1.00

01:49:26.000 I mean, this dude drove to this fucking town in Liberia that's like this... 1.00

01:49:31.000 Shanty town where there's no electricity. 1.00

01:49:34.000 There's piss and shit in the streets. 1.00

01:49:37.000 And this dude and the truck, they drove in there. 0.99

01:49:39.000 People started yelling, give us money, give us some money.

01:49:42.000 Like, it's crazy.

01:49:43.000 They could have been hacked apart alive. 1.00

01:49:45.000 I mean, literally, it's like a scene in a goddamn horror movie. 1.00

01:49:48.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99

01:49:50.000 Mm-hmm.

01:49:53.000 Oh my god, why?

01:49:54.000 The girl says from the video of Champion Monkeys.

01:49:57.000 Because you need to know. 0.98

01:49:59.000 You need to know, goddammit. 0.96

01:50:01.000 I need to know where that hair came from. 0.98

01:50:02.000 I think it was my cat's hair.

01:50:03.000 Yeah, hopefully. 1.00

01:50:04.000 Sneaky bitch. 1.00

01:50:05.000 Tastes like her hair. 1.00

01:50:06.000 I've had her hair in my mouth many times.

01:50:12.000 Questions.

01:50:14.000 I didn't put up a website thing here on the message board.

01:50:20.000 Usually I do.

01:50:21.000 Maybe someone's asked questions in the message board.

01:50:27.000 Get Bravo Indian drunk on your stream. 1.00

01:50:30.000 No, because this is my house.

01:50:33.000 Yeah.

01:50:34.000 Bravo does not, he's not allowed to drink in my house.

01:50:39.000 When you have babies, that's the first thing you want to cut out is Eddie being drunk in your house.

01:50:44.000 Just protect the baby.

01:50:44.000 Forget about sharp corners and knives.

01:50:47.000 Worry about Eddie being drunk in your house.

01:50:50.000 Joe, do you mind if this girl sleeps in the baby room with him? 0.87

01:50:54.000 Yeah, I got this honey coming over us.

01:50:56.000 What?

01:50:58.000 I got this honey coming over.

01:50:59.000 Can you sleep in the crib?

01:51:00.000 What?

01:51:01.000 Dude, are you drunk?

01:51:02.000 Yeah, what's the big deal?

01:51:03.000 I have a family, man.

01:51:07.000 That's hilarious.

01:51:08.000 Okay, let me answer a few more questions and we're going to leave soon because we've been doing these for two hours.

01:51:22.000 And that's how we're going to keep doing it.

01:51:23.000 In the future, we've got a bunch of them that we're going to figure out today how to get up on iTunes.

01:51:29.000 We record just the audio portion of it.

01:51:33.000 Separately!

01:51:33.000 Any news on your website?

01:51:35.000 I've got a crazy website designer.

01:51:37.000 Who knows what he's doing. 1.00

01:51:38.000 He's working on some crazy shit. 0.99

01:51:40.000 When it comes out, it's going to be dope though. 0.99

01:51:42.000 So, I'll leave it for now.

01:51:44.000 But in the meanwhile, Brian may build a bridge.

01:51:47.000 He may build a website to bridge us between this website and the future website.

01:51:52.000 Because he's chomping at the bit.

01:51:55.000 What is your review page?

01:51:58.000 Is it MySpace?

01:52:00.000 Is it Let's Find Jesus?

01:52:02.000 They're all on Redband.com or if you just want to check out the video part of it because I have a written review and a regular video review.

01:52:08.000 But if you go to YouTube backslash Let's Find Jesus...

01:52:13.000 Okay, but then go to redband.com.

01:52:14.000 Redband.com, it's all in there.

01:52:16.000 R-E-D-B-A-N. R-E-D-B-A-N.com. 1.00

01:52:19.000 Seriously, if you ever want the best review of the droid I've ever seen, it's his review. 0.99

01:52:24.000 He breaks that shit down. 0.98

01:52:25.000 I was talking about this today with customer service. 1.00

01:52:29.000 Technology hasn't helped us in any way, like when you're on the phone going, no, D like dog, B like boy.

01:52:36.000 There's nothing that has been invented to distinguish Ds and Bs and stuff. 0.97

01:52:41.000 Yeah, you have to say a beta, alpha, P as in penis. 0.99

01:52:45.000 Don't you always use words like D as in dick? 1.00

01:52:47.000 I do, I do. 0.98

01:52:48.000 This guy was being really annoying and I was trying to sign up for my...

01:52:51.000 Am I serious? 1.00

01:52:52.000 So I kept using swear words, ass-looking shit, Diaz and dick. 1.00

01:52:57.000 And he was like, okay, okay, okay, okay. 1.00

01:52:59.000 It was like, he was annoying me.

01:53:01.000 So I was like, I didn't even know he was annoying me.

01:53:04.000 That's hilarious.

01:53:06.000 He was just being so unhelpful.

01:53:08.000 Like, when I was talking to him, I'm like, listen, man, I've been a customer for a long time.

01:53:12.000 Why are you being awkward with me?

01:53:13.000 So, I was way holding off for the Verizon iPhone, since that didn't come.

01:53:18.000 Should I go with the pre, or what should I do? 0.98

01:53:20.000 Yeah, Verizon fucked us. 0.86

01:53:21.000 We thought that we were going to get the Wednesday announcement. 0.99

01:53:24.000 Yeah.

01:53:24.000 It was going to be a new...

01:53:25.000 I'm going to check a look at the pre, because like I said, I like this for the phone, but it's pretty much...

01:53:32.000 You know what the Pre also has?

01:53:34.000 It has an option to be a MiFi where it broadcasts Verizon network.

01:53:38.000 Really?

01:53:39.000 So if you get the iPad, you can broadcast Verizon network and then connect it.

01:53:45.000 That's pretty badass.

01:53:46.000 I like the Pre too.

01:53:47.000 It seems to be as responsive as an iPhone.

01:53:51.000 Yeah.

01:53:51.000 It seems to be the only one.

01:53:52.000 See that video?

01:53:52.000 They opened up 50 applications at once.

01:53:54.000 You can't do that with this fucking clunky hunk of shit. 1.00

01:53:57.000 This is like... 1.00

01:53:58.000 Seriously, this is like a dumb knockoff from a third world country. 1.00

01:54:02.000 Storm 2. Yeah. 0.99

01:54:03.000 Not even like...

01:54:04.000 You ever see those fake...

01:54:05.000 Yeah, the Storm 2 is. 1.00

01:54:06.000 Have you seen those fake iPhones that they make in other countries that are just clunky hunk of shit? 0.99

01:54:12.000 That's what this is like. 1.00

01:54:13.000 It's like...

01:54:14.000 It's so behind the iPhone.

01:54:16.000 Has Tour 2 come out yet?

01:54:17.000 Not yet.

01:54:18.000 That's what I want to get.

01:54:19.000 February 3rd, I believe, that comes out.

01:54:21.000 I might not get that, though, if the Palm Pre is, because I like the way the Palm thing slides out.

01:54:24.000 I like the Palm Pre.

01:54:25.000 The screen is way nicer.

01:54:26.000 Plus, I've always been a fan of Palm. 0.97

01:54:28.000 It looks like they got their shit together on this one. 1.00

01:54:29.000 Palm, did you get your shit together? 1.00

01:54:31.000 I hated the last one we had. 0.99

01:54:32.000 Remember we all had Trio 700s or whatever? 1.00

01:54:35.000 We thought it was the shit. 1.00

01:54:36.000 At first, then it started freezing up all the time, and we were like, fuck this phone. 1.00

01:54:41.000 Yeah, I think I might get that. 0.62

01:54:44.000 What can we see in your book when it comes out? 0.94

01:54:46.000 Unfortunately, I don't have any fucking pictures of when I was younger. 0.96

01:54:49.000 Not very, very, very few. 0.95

01:54:51.000 But it's all about the road, about doing stand-up when I first started out.

01:54:56.000 I just got a bunch of crazy stories that I thought would be a good first book to write.

01:55:00.000 It's basically just crazy road gigs, like trying to make it as a stand-up comedian.

01:55:04.000 You don't realize how strange it is.

01:55:07.000 It's such a crazy life.

01:55:09.000 And it's...

01:55:11.000 You don't know what's going to happen.

01:55:12.000 You don't know where you're going.

01:55:14.000 It's the most unsure way to make a living.

01:55:18.000 To try to be a professional stand-up comedian.

01:55:21.000 Pre is not all that.

01:55:22.000 Can't open that many apps. 1.00

01:55:24.000 What are you talking about, stupid? 1.00

01:55:26.000 Yeah, what are you talking about? 1.00

01:55:26.000 There's a video... 1.00

01:55:27.000 The PrePlus, it's online.

01:55:28.000 Just go watch it.

01:55:29.000 The old one, you couldn't open up that many gaps, but the PrePlus has much more internal memory.

01:55:33.000 You need to be on top of it to have this conversation with Brian Reichel, man.

01:55:37.000 Yeah, the PrePlus can actually...

01:55:38.000 There's a video of somebody opening up 50 apps at once, and it's still playing Need for Speed.

01:55:45.000 Hey, you guys, you put up a contest for people to be on your show.

01:55:49.000 Laziest stalker ever.

01:55:51.000 See?

01:55:52.000 I just did it.

01:55:57.000 Is Alex Jones an agent?

01:55:59.000 Yeah, people always want to know that.

01:56:01.000 Actually, he's Bill Hicks, and if that's true...

01:56:05.000 Stanhope is in Austin today.

01:56:06.000 He should have stopped in to see Alex Jones.

01:56:08.000 Would they get along?

01:56:09.000 Yeah.

01:56:10.000 They're friends.

01:56:11.000 Yeah, Alex is friends with both of us. 0.85

01:56:13.000 We all talk about how crazy he is.

01:56:15.000 But last time, Alex Jones got on a stage or something like that.

01:56:19.000 Yeah, that was a couple years ago.

01:56:22.000 Alex is crazy.

01:56:24.000 He's a nice guy, though, isn't he? 0.78

01:56:26.000 Alex?

01:56:27.000 Oh, I love hanging out with the dude.

01:56:28.000 He's fun to hang out with.

01:56:29.000 But every time I ramble with the guy, I always feel bad for him because I feel like I'm like, just relax.

01:56:34.000 Calm down.

01:56:36.000 Turn off.

01:56:37.000 He doesn't turn off.

01:56:38.000 Very high-strung fellow.

01:56:39.000 Loves the UFC. Whoever's doing Mark Gaten's not that funny right now.

01:56:45.000 Must be angry Almedeus.

01:56:47.000 How dare you.

01:56:48.000 Did I watch the State of the Union and...

01:56:55.000 Any thoughts?

01:56:56.000 I didn't watch it.

01:56:56.000 Did you watch it?

01:56:57.000 What?

01:56:58.000 State of the Union?

01:56:59.000 Eh, who cares.

01:57:00.000 You know, it's almost like at this point in time, I thought that Right before Obama got elected, when it looked like he was going to win, I was like, wow, this is so crazy.

01:57:10.000 This guy's going to win?

01:57:11.000 It really felt like things were going to change.

01:57:14.000 It really felt like, wow, maybe voting is real.

01:57:17.000 This guy can get in office?

01:57:18.000 This guy's a black guy from a single mom, and the way he says he's going to get everybody out of Afghanistan and get everybody out of Iraq. 0.86

01:57:26.000 Meanwhile, he hasn't done anything.

01:57:27.000 Well, he also said when he was running, like, this is a long road.

01:57:30.000 You know, I've got a lot of my...

01:57:32.000 He never said it was going to be quick.

01:57:33.000 Like, when he was, you know, he said this the whole time.

01:57:36.000 70,000 more troops to Afghanistan.

01:57:37.000 Yeah.

01:57:38.000 You know, and I don't...

01:57:39.000 I'm not a military expert, but what we have to look at for real is we have real problems at home.

01:57:45.000 We have real...

01:57:45.000 I mean...

01:57:46.000 When you look at the enemy, you look at attacks on America, there's this big giant distraction.

01:57:51.000 The big fear is things we have to worry about from other nations, from all over the place.

01:57:57.000 There's a lot of crime and violence in America that we've got to worry about.

01:58:01.000 Before we worry about crime, a giant group called the Taliban acting to kill Americans, worry about the thousands of people that we kill every day. 1.00

01:58:10.000 How the fuck do we put a stop to that shit? 1.00

01:58:12.000 How do we put a stop to Senseless violent crime in America. 1.00

01:58:16.000 And then we gotta deal with the fact that we're right next door to Mexico. 0.95

01:58:20.000 And Mexico is way crazier than Iraq and Afghanistan combined. 0.98

01:58:24.000 More people get murdered in Mexico than anywhere in the world. 0.98

01:58:27.000 The war on drugs in Mexico.

01:58:29.000 There's five times more casualties this year.

01:58:32.000 Something like that.

01:58:33.000 Victor Dabula, the guy who does the Spanish version of my job for the UFC, Great guy.

01:58:41.000 He was living in Juarez, and he told me, it was some crazy statistic, you'll have to Google it, but it was like five times more people died in Juarez in one year than died in the Iraq War.

01:58:52.000 I mean, it's nuts, man!

01:58:54.000 They're just killing people left and right down there, and the reason why they're doing it is because there's so much money in selling illegal drugs to the United States from Mexico.

01:59:04.000 I mean, it's incredible. 0.99

01:59:05.000 These guys get so goddamn rich and they're fighting over so much that the violence is insane and they're killing police officers and politicians and they brought over fucking tanks and shit and they got tanks running through the streets in Juarez. 1.00

01:59:17.000 I mean, this shit is happening literally to a country that's connected to us. 1.00

01:59:22.000 You can fucking drive there. 0.99

01:59:24.000 You don't have to fly halfway across the world to deal with some conflict whereas the enemy is there. 0.99

01:59:30.000 The enemy is anybody who's murdering people.

01:59:34.000 Alright? 1.00

01:59:34.000 Anybody who's so fucking crazy they're killing five times more people than die in a war. 1.00

01:59:38.000 I mean, it's right there. 1.00

01:59:39.000 That's a war.

01:59:40.000 There's a war that we're not even involved in.

01:59:41.000 It's connected to us. 0.99

01:59:42.000 It's fucking dangerous. 1.00

01:59:44.000 They're getting rich as shit. 1.00

01:59:46.000 And they have tanks. 1.00

01:59:47.000 And who knows what they're going to get?

01:59:49.000 I mean, in Mexico, you could probably buy jets, you know? 0.99

01:59:51.000 They could probably buy, like, fucking U.S. Army jets from Russia. 1.00

01:59:54.000 Who the fuck knows? 1.00

01:59:55.000 They have billions and billions and billions of dollars. 1.00

01:59:58.000 I mean, they're so rich. 1.00

01:59:59.000 It's scary shit, man. 1.00

02:00:01.000 Very scary shit. 1.00

02:00:02.000 We're worried about what's going on in Afghanistan. 1.00

02:00:05.000 But the problem is there's money in Afghanistan.

02:00:07.000 There's natural gas.

02:00:08.000 There's money in Iraq.

02:00:10.000 There's oil controlling the natural gas pipeline.

02:00:12.000 The reason why people have been trying to get to Afghanistan over and over again for so many years, while the Soviets invaded them, they're trying to get the resources. 0.91

02:00:20.000 Whenever we fuck with other countries, we're trying to get their resources. 0.95

02:00:23.000 That's it. 0.97

02:00:24.000 In the future with the electric cars, do you think people are going to be blowing up radio shacks?

02:00:28.000 Protect the radio shack!

02:00:29.000 Batteries, never mind.

02:00:32.000 I didn't get that one at all.

02:00:35.000 You didn't even get it.

02:00:36.000 You said it. 0.98

02:00:39.000 The cartel is insane.

02:00:41.000 Yeah, it is insane, man. 1.00

02:00:42.000 It's scary shit. 0.99

02:00:43.000 Where do you get this Gracie shirt from? 0.99

02:00:45.000 I got it from the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu website.

02:00:47.000 I'm not sure what the name of it is.

02:00:50.000 Who is that? 1.00

02:00:51.000 That bitch got your cut. 1.00

02:00:52.000 That is... 1.00

02:00:56.000 I don't know.

02:00:58.000 Oh, that's a girl that said they would beat her up while she was pregnant. 1.00

02:01:02.000 Who's Steven Jackson?

02:01:04.000 Oh, like a football player.

02:01:05.000 Ex-girlfriend.

02:01:06.000 Oh, that's why.

02:01:07.000 She bears the results of being attacked.

02:01:09.000 Oh, attack at the hands of the NFL star. 1.00

02:01:11.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:01:13.000 Let me cut ya! 1.00

02:01:14.000 Damn. 1.00

02:01:16.000 Who knows? 1.00

02:01:18.000 She might be crazy. 0.99

02:01:21.000 Have I ever played Quake Live?

02:01:22.000 Yes, I have. 0.96

02:01:22.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.96

02:01:26.000 Orale, orale, orale. 0.99

02:01:27.000 What does that mean?

02:01:28.000 Exactly.

02:01:29.000 I don't know what that means.

02:01:30.000 Orale, orale, orale.

02:01:31.000 Chinga, Mexico, this guy says.

02:01:34.000 You know, it's crazy that we have countries still. 0.99

02:01:38.000 I mean, it's crazy that there's like an area where if you're born over here, you're fucked, you're shit out of luck, and we don't let you come to the good spot. 0.97

02:01:44.000 It's not like just one planet that we all live on. 0.99

02:01:47.000 We, like, separate it, we guard the borders, and we have fucking guns and shit, and they'll... 0.99

02:01:51.000 You know, there's, like, a lot of stories about Border Patrol shooting people that are, you know, like, holding a rock at 100 yards. 1.00

02:01:57.000 You know, you can't hit them with a rock.

02:01:59.000 You know, they just headshot them.

02:02:00.000 Bang! 1.00

02:02:01.000 He was threatening us.

02:02:02.000 You know?

02:02:03.000 Like, it's pretty nutty, man, just because you're on the other side of the fence.

02:02:06.000 It's such an uncompassionate thing, you know?

02:02:08.000 The whole idea of these teams, you know, and not allowing... 0.73

02:02:12.000 And everybody says, well, if you let them over, they would just come over in a swarm, and they would fuck up the whole culture. 0.52

02:02:18.000 Really? 0.99

02:02:18.000 Would they? 0.99

02:02:19.000 Aren't they already here?

02:02:20.000 I mean, in L.A.? I mean, how many illegals are there in L.A.? How much more would it be if it was legal?

02:02:26.000 Dude, there's less white people.

02:02:28.000 Do you think everybody would just come over?

02:02:29.000 If they said, okay, now there's no immigration, there's just one country, the United States, Canada, and Mexico, everything that's attached is one country.

02:02:36.000 I think so.

02:02:37.000 What would happen?

02:02:37.000 They would just all come over.

02:02:38.000 There would be nobody in Mexico. 0.97

02:02:40.000 Yeah.

02:02:40.000 You could get some badass deals on houses in Mexico, then it would all settle out over a few generations.

02:02:45.000 No shit. 1.00

02:02:46.000 You know, people would realize, like, Baja California is pretty fucking dope. 1.00

02:02:49.000 Dude, the cost of living here is ridiculous. 0.98

02:02:50.000 I've been looking at lofts lately now because I was at this party and this dude owned a loft and it was amazing. 1.00

02:02:55.000 I was like, oh, it's perfect for people that have a lot of shit. 0.99

02:02:59.000 Lofts, it's just a big room. 1.00

02:03:01.000 It should be cheaper.

02:03:04.000 Lofts are going for $2,000, $3,000 out here.

02:03:07.000 It's amazing how expensive lofts are.

02:03:10.000 Have you ever lived in a loft?

02:03:11.000 No.

02:03:12.000 It is weird, though, how things are really expensive in cities.

02:03:14.000 New York City apartments are the nuttiest things ever.

02:03:17.000 New York City apartments are... 1.00

02:03:18.000 Yeah, it's retarded. 1.00

02:03:19.000 You have to pay $3,000 for a little tiny place.

02:03:22.000 How do people afford that?

02:03:24.000 I mean, that's nuts, man.

02:03:26.000 It's impossible.

02:03:26.000 That's got to be a significant percentage and people go, well, you know, I don't have to have a car because I take the subway everywhere.

02:03:33.000 That's all well and good, but you don't feel trapped.

02:03:35.000 No.

02:03:35.000 You don't feel tethered to this machine.

02:03:37.000 Yeah.

02:03:37.000 You really want that?

02:03:39.000 God damn it. 1.00

02:03:40.000 Damn it! 1.00

02:03:41.000 The North American Union, this gentleman says, Pantera 33. Yeah, that's what it's supposed to be. 1.00

02:03:46.000 The North American Union is supposed to be this fucking crazy, how would you describe it, New World Order conspiracy that we're moving towards one world government and sort of how, like, in Europe they have the euro that, like, goes through it, one money source, that we're going to do that with the Amero in America. 0.71

02:04:06.000 And, you know, Lou Dobbs actually talked about it on CNN. But, you know, Lou Dobbs might be crazy. 0.97

02:04:12.000 Obama was really interesting when he addressed it.

02:04:14.000 He addressed it during his campaign.

02:04:15.000 He said he sees no evidence for that.

02:04:17.000 You know, and it makes you wonder, like, How much do you think they really know? 0.99

02:04:22.000 Who the fuck does Obama answer to? 0.94

02:04:24.000 What happens when you actually get in office? 1.00

02:04:26.000 A cat.

02:04:28.000 That's the secret.

02:04:29.000 There's this really smart cat.

02:04:31.000 It's an Egyptian cat with a golden headdress.

02:04:33.000 And it just sits there.

02:04:35.000 Obama, you must. 1.00

02:04:37.000 Don't make me turn you into salt, bitch. 1.00

02:04:41.000 I mean, what do you think happens when they get in there? 1.00

02:04:43.000 I mean, do they meet with the heads of these gigantic corporations that spend millions of dollars on their campaign?

02:04:48.000 They must.

02:04:49.000 They must, you know.

02:04:50.000 I mean, that's one of the things they said about Bush, that Bush met with the heads of all these different energy companies and oil companies.

02:04:57.000 And it's like common practice that like, or it's common knowledge rather, that policy was dictated after he had these meetings.

02:05:05.000 Like they had worked it out.

02:05:07.000 I mean, how does anybody not expect that?

02:05:09.000 If you pay people millions of dollars, you give them millions of dollars of your money to get them into office, once they're in office, you bribe them.

02:05:17.000 I mean, you bribe them.

02:05:19.000 Why else would you spend millions of dollars?

02:05:21.000 I mean, if you're an oil company, why are you giving politicians all this money?

02:05:26.000 Because you want them to take it easy on you.

02:05:29.000 You're bribing them.

02:05:30.000 It's nuts.

02:05:31.000 I mean, it's crazy that that's legal.

02:05:33.000 And the Supreme Court recently just stopped the cap on spending on it.

02:05:37.000 They said that they treated them as an individual, that a corporation is like an individual, so they can spend as much money on campaigns as they want.

02:05:45.000 That's crazy! 0.59

02:05:47.000 They're going to have all kinds of nutty-ass commercials, like that talking dog commercial that they came up with.

02:05:52.000 Didn't Obama just put a spending freeze, though, on a lot of the money?

02:05:58.000 Last week?

02:05:59.000 I thought that was the whole thing.

02:06:00.000 I don't know.

02:06:00.000 He probably talked about it last night.

02:06:02.000 Well, you know, he was horrified by it, I'm sure.

02:06:05.000 He was talking about it.

02:06:05.000 But I think that's also just because people were horrified by it.

02:06:08.000 I think they just got so greedy and horrific that they needed to take a step back. 0.99

02:06:12.000 They go, listen, we fucked up. 0.99

02:06:13.000 This is like, you know, people might storm the White House with guns. 0.99

02:06:17.000 This is getting crazy.

02:06:18.000 Like, now, you know, even people that run the corporations are like, really?

02:06:21.000 They're going to let us do this?

02:06:22.000 Is this democracy?

02:06:24.000 Is this really what the United States is founded on?

02:06:26.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:06:26.000 Ustream this week doesn't seem like it's been fucking up. 0.95

02:06:29.000 Has it been fucking up at all? 0.98

02:06:30.000 No. 0.97

02:06:31.000 Ustream looks fine this week.

02:06:32.000 Does anybody have a problem with... 1.00

02:06:34.000 We were ready to jump ship, you dirty bitches. 1.00

02:06:36.000 Maybe it was the storm last week. 1.00

02:06:38.000 It could have been the storm last week.

02:06:39.000 It could have been this, you know.

02:06:44.000 Obama did right after the budgets got increased by 35%.

02:06:47.000 That's what this guy says.

02:06:48.000 Obama did what?

02:06:49.000 What was the question?

02:06:50.000 We're saying that Obama put a cap on the spending?

02:06:54.000 He did after the budget got increased by 35% so they increased it.

02:06:58.000 So they changed it by 35% and then he put a cap on it so it made it look like he was doing something to stop it but really they didn't.

02:07:04.000 Is that what you're saying?

02:07:06.000 Well it seems like The spending freeze is in 2011, he said. 0.99

02:07:13.000 It's all fucking nuts, man. 1.00

02:07:15.000 That's why I don't follow this stupid shit. 1.00

02:07:18.000 It's so complex. 1.00

02:07:20.000 Politics are so complex that at a certain point in time, you have to look at your resources. 1.00

02:07:25.000 You have to look at your life and go, how much time do I have to deal with this shit? 0.98

02:07:28.000 How much time do I have to take care of my children, to pay my bills, to manage my career, to go to the gym, to hang out with my friends, to... 0.99

02:07:36.000 Play a couple games at pool. 0.98

02:07:37.000 How much fucking time do you have in a day? 1.00

02:07:40.000 And that's why they can just fuck you and keep fucking you. 1.00

02:07:44.000 That's why these cigarette and alcohol companies get away with contributing millions of dollars to a partnership for a drug-free America. 1.00

02:07:51.000 And then they make commercials like the one with the talking dog that, you know, tells the girl to stop smoking weed.

02:07:56.000 It's just corruption and it's blatant and it's right in front of our eyes. 0.98

02:08:01.000 I mean, the system is so fucked up that it's almost like Someone else has to come in and fix it. 0.99

02:08:07.000 It's almost like we're like Lord of the Flies, just a giant, large-scale version of it, and we're just fucking going crazy. 1.00

02:08:15.000 We're allowing corporations and these dudes to make millions and millions of dollars just by fucking us. 1.00

02:08:21.000 All this stimulus money that went to all these banks that they don't have to account for... 1.00

02:08:27.000 It's fucking chaos. 0.98

02:08:29.000 I mean, that is a mad grab for cash where dudes are saying, well, we've got to give them their bonuses. 0.99

02:08:34.000 We don't give them their bonuses.

02:08:35.000 They're going to leave.

02:08:36.000 They're going to leave.

02:08:36.000 So that's why they should get millions of dollars of taxpayers' money while the whole economy melts in front of everybody's eyes?

02:08:43.000 That's incredible.

02:08:44.000 They're so bold that they want bonuses while everything's falling apart and going under because they have contracts.

02:08:51.000 And then they say, well, we're going to lose them to other corporations.

02:08:54.000 Like, no.

02:08:55.000 You're supposed to lose them! 1.00

02:08:57.000 Your fucking bank failed, stupid! 1.00

02:08:59.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:09:00.000 I mean, it's amazing how just blatant they are. 1.00

02:09:03.000 It's almost like it's so corrupt that nothing's going to fix it. 0.99

02:09:07.000 And I feel like when I think about investing my time and trying to pay attention to it or, God, for a fucking bit, trying to do something to fix it, it's like it's so fucked up. 0.97

02:09:17.000 It would take a hundred lives of a hundred people living a hundred lives just to bring it back to baseline, just to bring it back to no corruption. 1.00

02:09:26.000 You know, politics in America are so fucked up and corrupt. 0.97

02:09:30.000 And when I talk to people that really know about it, I know some dudes who run some big businesses, and I've talked to them about politics, about what campaigns and what contributing is really all about. 1.00

02:09:41.000 It's fucking horrifying. 0.98

02:09:43.000 It's horrifying. 0.99

02:09:45.000 It should be all illegal.

02:09:46.000 It should be illegal for politicians to talk while someone else writes their speeches.

02:09:51.000 Totally illegal. 0.88

02:09:52.000 There's no way you should be a guy reading a goddamn script written by 20 experts in English and the right way to phrase things and great writers who know how to mimic some of the responses that people got to historical speeches. 0.86

02:10:07.000 Well, Teddy Roosevelt was in a similar situation. 0.92

02:10:09.000 This is what he said.

02:10:10.000 I think we need to address that.

02:10:12.000 The founding fathers of this country really knew best.

02:10:13.000 We need to address that.

02:10:15.000 They calculate it so perfectly to make you interesting. 0.99

02:10:18.000 We don't even know who the fuck Obama is. 0.98

02:10:20.000 We know that he's pretty cool, calm, and collected, but until you see a dude Until we have... 1.00

02:10:29.000 Obama does write a lot of his own shit, though. 0.99

02:10:31.000 You gotta give him that. 1.00

02:10:32.000 But it's all nonsense anyway. 0.99

02:10:33.000 If he was talking like that in your house, you would think he's crazy. 0.89

02:10:36.000 What we need to do as a nation and as individuals...

02:10:41.000 He'd be like, why can't he just talk to us?

02:10:43.000 Why do they have to talk like that?

02:10:46.000 Why can't they get on stage and go, listen...

02:10:48.000 There's a certain age group that's almost dead, but once they die, I think we're going to be like that. 1.00

02:10:53.000 You think so, right?

02:10:54.000 I think so, too. 0.99

02:10:54.000 I think it's just an age group that if we didn't do that, then people would be like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:10:59.000 You know, maybe in 30 years, the president's going to be like, you are, you know? 0.99

02:11:02.000 I think you got a good point.

02:11:04.000 Yeah, I think you got a good point.

02:11:05.000 I think that's real possible.

02:11:06.000 I mean, that age group's just got to go.

02:11:08.000 Once they're gone, weed's going to be illegal.

02:11:10.000 Everybody before the internet.

02:11:11.000 Pre-internet, oh my god.

02:11:13.000 You know, if you didn't embrace the internet...

02:11:16.000 God, you're riding on a buggy, man.

02:11:19.000 You're riding on an animal, you know?

02:11:21.000 All that, I mean...

02:11:23.000 Can't we have a president that gets on stage and talks like a normal human being?

02:11:28.000 He raps.

02:11:28.000 This is the...

02:11:29.000 No.

02:11:30.000 I mean a guy who gets on stage and goes, well, here's our situation.

02:11:33.000 You ever seen that guy Ray Kurzweil explain technological, the singularity and the exponential increase in technology?

02:11:41.000 The way he explains it is like a regular dude.

02:11:43.000 He's not talking about it like it's the future.

02:11:47.000 God bless America!

02:11:49.000 He's not getting all crazy and dramatic and theatrical.

02:11:53.000 He's just giving you information.

02:11:54.000 It's weird that people feel like they just have to do that, like Alex Jones even.

02:11:58.000 But it's a fake drama.

02:12:00.000 I don't mind real drama.

02:12:01.000 I don't mind if the guy's talking and if I feel like he's just...

02:12:04.000 And you can tell that sincerity.

02:12:06.000 And that's one of the reasons why they put on that so obvious fake voice, because it masks insincerity.

02:12:11.000 That's what's the most offensive about politicians' speeches.

02:12:15.000 If they had to talk, if they had to go up there and go, well, what I want to do is...

02:12:19.000 First of all, I want to end this war. 0.75

02:12:21.000 I'm trying to figure out how.

02:12:22.000 We've got to get out of Afghanistan. 1.00

02:12:24.000 First thing we're going to do is we're going to set up Iraq. 1.00

02:12:26.000 We're going to get out of there. 0.99

02:12:27.000 And if he said it like a guy who was just talking to you, you would be able to see where the bullshit is. 0.98

02:12:34.000 But by masking it in political speech, in that speech, you know, that mode... 0.99

02:12:41.000 Specific, predetermined pattern.

02:12:42.000 News broadcasters and everyone.

02:12:44.000 We stand at a crossroads. 0.99

02:12:47.000 And when they talk like that, it's agreed that it's going to sound like bullshit. 1.00

02:12:52.000 And it masks bullshit. 1.00

02:12:55.000 I just thought that up, too. 1.00

02:12:57.000 Newscasters, totally.

02:12:58.000 Somebody tweet that so I remember.

02:13:00.000 Because that's a bit.

02:13:01.000 There's a bit in there somewhere, right?

02:13:03.000 Yeah.

02:13:03.000 There's a bit in there somewhere.

02:13:04.000 That's why they speak speeches like that. 1.00

02:13:06.000 Because if they were speaking like a regular person, you'd know they're full of shit. 0.99

02:13:09.000 Yeah, but why do the news people and radio stations have to do it? 1.00

02:13:12.000 Because they're trying to get that paper.

02:13:15.000 What if you watch the news and it's like, dude, there was a fire today. 1.00

02:13:18.000 Check this shit out. 1.00

02:13:18.000 We filmed this on Main Street. 1.00

02:13:20.000 Look at this building. 1.00

02:13:21.000 That's all fucked up. 0.99

02:13:22.000 First of all, it's really hard for people to be themselves on camera. 0.99

02:13:25.000 It takes a long time.

02:13:26.000 Yeah, but they train them to be that way.

02:13:27.000 They train them to have that voice.

02:13:28.000 That's why the weather person and the traffic person in every city all sound the same.

02:13:32.000 Like on radio.

02:13:33.000 It's like, we have to have the certain data on Main Street.

02:13:36.000 Well, it looks like you got clear sailing on the 405. Yeah, they have a certain way of doing it because that's...

02:13:42.000 It's sort of like strip club DJs, too.

02:13:45.000 They're nervous, so they fall into this pattern because it makes them more comfortable.

02:13:49.000 Some stand-up comedians sound like that, too.

02:13:51.000 Some stand-up comedians, you can tell, they're trying to sound like a comic.

02:13:56.000 That was a big thing in the 80s. 0.98

02:13:58.000 There was a bunch of guys who weren't saying jack shit, but they were saying it like comics, and they would get laughs. 0.73

02:14:03.000 There's a few guys on our niche names. 0.99

02:14:06.000 But the 80s was real easy for shitty comedy.

02:14:09.000 A lot of guys slipped through because there was so much comedy going on. 0.84

02:14:13.000 They never learned how to talk as themselves.

02:14:15.000 They were always like the wacky comedy voice guy.

02:14:17.000 420.

02:14:22.000 Oh, it's already gone.

02:14:23.000 420.

02:14:25.000 420?

02:14:25.000 Oh, it's food time.

02:14:28.000 You guys ever talk about Michael Leonhart appointed the head of the DEA? No.

02:14:33.000 I don't know.

02:14:34.000 You know what?

02:14:35.000 It's like...

02:14:36.000 It's the same thing as opening up the doors to Mexico. 0.94

02:14:38.000 It's like, I don't know the solution.

02:14:40.000 And the problem with the DEA is, really, yeah, they shouldn't be busting people for pot.

02:14:45.000 Pot should be legal. 0.99

02:14:46.000 But there are some drugs that are fucking terrible for you. 0.99

02:14:48.000 You know, there's real drugs that are terrible for you. 1.00

02:14:50.000 And a lot of them are sold by fucking pharmacies. 1.00

02:14:53.000 Alright? 1.00

02:14:54.000 How about Oxycontin?

02:14:55.000 You got real problems?

02:14:56.000 Watch that thing we were talking about earlier, the Oxycontin Express.

02:14:59.000 But these DEA guys and all this, they have families and they have jobs, you know?

02:15:03.000 And this is what they're doing.

02:15:04.000 And a lot of them signed up to do the right thing, to try to protect communities.

02:15:07.000 And then they get involved in it, and I think that's when things get squirrely.

02:15:10.000 And, you know, you do realize that, yeah, it is kind of fucking silly that I could tell a guy who can't do this, and I'm going to lock him in a cage, and you think you're doing okay because you're just doing your job. 0.97

02:15:19.000 Well, if they make pot legal, that's 50% of the fucking people who are in prison. 0.97

02:15:23.000 For non-violent drug offenses. 0.95

02:15:25.000 Do you just immediately cancel out all their cases and let them out? 1.00

02:15:30.000 Or do you say, no, you live in the dark ages, so you're fucked. 0.97

02:15:33.000 You lived in the ages when it was illegal. 0.99

02:15:35.000 I mean, you'd have to let everybody out of jail.

02:15:36.000 You'd have to let like half the people out of jail.

02:15:40.000 What?

02:15:41.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:15:42.000 They're all fucked up now. 1.00

02:15:43.000 They've been in jail and they've been there for five years and they're fucking angry. 1.00

02:15:47.000 Unless you're going to pay them, how are you going to let them out of jail? 0.97

02:15:49.000 You're going to give them millions of dollars?

02:15:51.000 They're going to all sue.

02:15:52.000 Okay, so now you've got millions of people who want millions of dollars. 0.95

02:15:55.000 You don't think the economy is fucked now. 0.85

02:15:58.000 Make pot legal, let people out of jail, make the DEA close down because you're not going to go after drugs. 0.95

02:16:06.000 It's like the web we have already woven is so polluted.

02:16:11.000 It's so hard to extradite yourself from it.

02:16:14.000 Is that the right word?

02:16:15.000 I'm trying to be smart.

02:16:16.000 Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

02:16:19.000 I'm trying to be immaculate with my structure of my linguistics.

02:16:24.000 You're doing the fake speech thing.

02:16:26.000 Yeah, I was doing the fake speech thing.

02:16:27.000 It is what it is.

02:16:30.000 What's the sickest thing you've ever seen?

02:16:32.000 You, brother. 1.00

02:16:33.000 Sick. 0.98

02:16:33.000 I don't know. 0.98

02:16:34.000 What does that mean?

02:16:35.000 What's the sickest thing I've ever seen?

02:16:36.000 I've seen some sick things.

02:16:37.000 Have you been to the Ronald Reagan Museum here in California?

02:16:41.000 No, I haven't.

02:16:42.000 You should go.

02:16:43.000 Pretty crazy, huh?

02:16:43.000 Get really baked and go see it.

02:16:45.000 It's pretty crazy that people, like, when I was a kid, Ronald Reagan was a hated man.

02:16:49.000 Really?

02:16:49.000 Yeah, because people have convenient memories.

02:16:52.000 When I was a kid, amongst anybody who was intelligent, I lived in Boston, which is a fairly liberal, very intelligent town, very, you know...

02:16:59.000 A high amount of colleges per capita. 0.94

02:17:00.000 People are pretty goddamn smart in Boston. 0.97

02:17:02.000 And growing up there, they hated Ronald Reagan. 0.99

02:17:04.000 When all that Iran-Contra shit was going on, and they made Reagan testify about selling arms. 0.98

02:17:08.000 Oliver North. 0.96

02:17:09.000 I can't recall.

02:17:10.000 You know, the arms to Iran. 0.59

02:17:12.000 I can't recall.

02:17:13.000 I don't recall. 0.99

02:17:13.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

02:17:15.000 You can't just sit up there and say, I don't remember. 1.00

02:17:17.000 That means you did, you fuck. 1.00

02:17:19.000 You fucking criminal. 1.00

02:17:21.000 That guy's a criminal. 1.00

02:17:22.000 I mean, that guy was... 0.94

02:17:23.000 You're old.

02:17:25.000 Tell him you don't remember.

02:17:26.000 I can't recall.

02:17:27.000 That's crazy.

02:17:28.000 There's a dude named Jimmy Tingle.

02:17:29.000 He was a hilarious Boston comedian who had a great joke about that.

02:17:33.000 He goes, here's a tip, Mr. Reagan.

02:17:36.000 If you sell arms to people who hate us...

02:17:40.000 Jot it down.

02:17:41.000 He goes, make a little note.

02:17:43.000 Put it on your refrigerator.

02:17:45.000 Today I sold alms to people who hate us. 1.00

02:17:50.000 And on that note, you fucking filthy savages... 1.00

02:17:54.000 I think we're going to end this because we don't want to overstay our welcome for the perfect 4001 viewers, listeners. 0.99

02:18:02.000 You guys are super cool.

02:18:03.000 Thank you very much for tuning in.

02:18:04.000 We will continue this every week.

02:18:06.000 This is, I believe, five weeks in a row.

02:18:08.000 And you can always get them.

02:18:10.000 You can always download them off this Ustream channel.

02:18:12.000 And we are going to look into today how the fuck we get everything on iTunes.

02:18:16.000 And then eventually what I would like to do is I would like to do two of these a week.

02:18:20.000 Maybe one video and we'll do that.

02:18:23.000 We might do one just straight audio.

02:18:26.000 I'm thinking two a week would be better than one.

02:18:27.000 I want to do it like a regular thing and have it so that you can RSS it and subscribe to it and get it automatically downloaded to your iTunes and all that jazz. 0.99

02:18:34.000 Fuck Flash! 0.97

02:18:35.000 So that's what we're doing. 1.00

02:18:37.000 Don't argue with Brian, okay?

02:18:39.000 It's not worth it.

02:18:40.000 He knows what he's doing. 1.00

02:18:42.000 Use Flash, Brian, you scumbag. 1.00

02:18:43.000 Whoa, things are getting crazy. 0.99

02:18:45.000 Alright, thank you very much, you guys.

02:18:47.000 We really appreciate it, and we'll see you next week.

02:18:49.000 Later, yo. 0.97

02:18:50.000 Later.

02:18:50.000 Oh yeah, I'm doing this right?

02:18:52.000 The show starts showing some video.

02:19:19.000 We're still here!

02:19:23.000 The people who are still here, ladies and gentlemen, we will now broadcast only in audio. 0.96

02:19:27.000 This is the secret session that nobody told anybody about, but because you decided to stick around and keep your fucking Ustream open, you're here. 0.93

02:19:42.000 Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to keep this bumping. 1.00

02:19:45.000 Let's fuck this cat. 1.00

02:19:45.000 Brian and I are going to fuck my cat and we're going to talk for another 20 minutes, folks. 1.00

02:19:50.000 Why? 1.00

02:19:51.000 Because this is a goddamn experiment. 0.99

02:19:53.000 I want to see how many people stay on. 0.99

02:19:55.000 I want to see how many people listen to us with just a backbeat.

02:20:01.000 And Brian making cat noises.

02:20:03.000 We're down to 309, folks.

02:20:05.000 It's not looking so good.

02:20:06.000 We're losing viewers.

02:20:08.000 I think we do our best work in the post anyway.

02:20:12.000 You know, people don't have to watch it live.

02:20:14.000 Let's be honest. 0.99

02:20:15.000 We're not answering that many goddamn questions, okay? 0.99

02:20:17.000 The questions are coming in like a waterfall. 0.98

02:20:19.000 We're trying to keep up, but what's most important is that we give you the flow.

02:20:23.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:20:24.000 We give you the rant.

02:20:25.000 We talk to you.

02:20:25.000 We communicate with our people.

02:20:28.000 What's going on?

02:20:30.000 I'm committed to you, my friend Adam Kroll.

02:20:33.000 We are committed.

02:20:35.000 How high are we?

02:20:36.000 Jesus in space.

02:20:38.000 I'm as high as Paula Abdul is on the ride home from the pharmacy.

02:20:46.000 Alright, you guys still here? 0.99

02:20:47.000 We got 303, bitches. 1.00

02:20:49.000 We lost, you know, we lost people with itchy trigger fingers. 0.99

02:20:52.000 It's like when you go to the movies, and sometimes you go to the movies, and you just don't sit through the credits, but there's some funny shit in the credits, like Bachelor, The Bachelor, or The Bachelor Party? 0.97

02:21:02.000 Just called Bachelor Party, right? 0.99

02:21:03.000 Bachelor Party, that fucking... 1.00

02:21:04.000 Or the movie. 1.00

02:21:05.000 Zalifanakis movie.

02:21:06.000 Oh, no, no, no.

02:21:07.000 The Hangover.

02:21:08.000 Hangover, The Hangover.

02:21:08.000 You're talking 1970s.

02:21:10.000 Jesus, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

02:21:11.000 It was about a bachelor party.

02:21:13.000 The Hangover, my apologies. 1.00

02:21:14.000 But that Galifanakis movie, the fucking end credits are some of the funniest shit. 0.98

02:21:20.000 I mean, it's really, really hilarious, hilarious stuff. 0.99

02:21:23.000 So that's what this is.

02:21:25.000 This is the end credits.

02:21:26.000 305, 306, we're gaining, ladies and gentlemen.

02:21:29.000 Spread the word. 0.99

02:21:30.000 Let bitches know. 1.00

02:21:31.000 There's no visual, but there is a funky techno beat, and they are still talking. 0.98

02:21:36.000 And this guy says, I'm on here 24-7.

02:21:39.000 I don't sleep.

02:21:41.000 Wow.

02:21:42.000 Ernie M.S. Ernie...

02:21:47.000 Ernie M. Slander, you wild man.

02:21:49.000 Pet my cat for me. 1.00

02:21:51.000 Listen, I'll pet my cat when I want to pet my cat, you fucking weirdo. 1.00

02:21:54.000 Pet my cat for you. 1.00

02:21:55.000 I pet my cat for her, okay?

02:21:59.000 You like our funky beat?

02:22:00.000 Yeah, you like that music?

02:22:02.000 Yeah, I like that beat, man.

02:22:04.000 This guy says, I like radio better than video, personally.

02:22:07.000 Imagination.

02:22:08.000 I agree with you.

02:22:08.000 I think there is something about that.

02:22:10.000 I like listening to the radio, too, man.

02:22:12.000 I love satellite radio for that very reason, you know? 0.99

02:22:15.000 Satellite radio is the shit, but this is basically satellite radio for everybody. 0.99

02:22:18.000 You don't even have to pay for it, you know? 1.00

02:22:20.000 I mean, I think satellite radio is awesome, and I have, in my car, I have Sirius with the best of XM. So I can get Howard Stern, and I can get Opie and Anthony, and I can get Bubba the Love Sponge, and I can get, you know, Ron and Fez, and I can get POTUS Politics.

02:22:33.000 I can get anything. 0.93

02:22:34.000 It's fucking awesome.

02:22:35.000 I love it. 0.92

02:22:36.000 So, because of that, you know...

02:22:39.000 I think what this is, though, what this is, is even more exciting.

02:22:43.000 Because this is like radio that anybody can do.

02:22:46.000 I mean, Brian and I are just sitting here in my living room, and we got this fucking microphone that we bought at the Mac store, and it's connected to our laptops. 0.97

02:22:53.000 I mean, it's so goddamn easy. 0.98

02:22:55.000 We don't have a crew.

02:22:56.000 And, you know, I mean, if we were, like, charging you guys a lot of money, and we wanted to have some sort of a production value to this thing, yeah, I can understand that.

02:23:04.000 Does that make it any better? 0.97

02:23:05.000 When you watch The Tonight Show, do you really give a fuck that there's a room full of people there and everybody's cheering? 0.99

02:23:11.000 And do you really give a fuck that there's a band there playing whack-ass music at the intros and outros? 0.99

02:23:17.000 I mean, what I like about, like, if I watch Letterman, I like Letterman interacting with people. 0.99

02:23:22.000 He's funny. 0.98

02:23:23.000 He's a fucking funny guy. 0.98

02:23:24.000 That's what I like. 0.99

02:23:25.000 He could be doing that in his house and it would be just as interesting.

02:23:28.000 What are you doing? 0.99

02:23:29.000 You showing people pictures or shit? 0.99

02:23:33.000 You going to Duncan Trussell's Facebook page? 0.99

02:23:35.000 Yeah, that's tonight.

02:23:37.000 This Thursday?

02:23:37.000 Comedy is dead tonight.

02:23:39.000 I can't go.

02:23:39.000 A lot of good comics.

02:23:41.000 I got a hot date with the wife. 1.00

02:23:42.000 A lot of good comics.

02:23:43.000 Take her to it.

02:23:44.000 Oh, no.

02:23:44.000 Look at this lineup.

02:23:46.000 I don't want to poison my future baby with...

02:23:49.000 Oh, that is a good lineup. 0.99

02:23:51.000 Damn, Doug Benson, Dana Gould, Chris Hardwick, Nick Kroll, Guy Branum, Duncan Trussell, and Natasha Allegro. 0.97

02:24:00.000 That's a good guy in the lineup. 0.98

02:24:01.000 Yeah.

02:24:02.000 Duncan puts on a good show.

02:24:03.000 That's that one that he does from the funeral.

02:24:05.000 It's the Hollywood Forever Cemetery tonight.

02:24:07.000 That's nutty.

02:24:08.000 We're promoing people, man.

02:24:10.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:24:11.000 We've got allegiance to our friends, but I can't even lay off that.

02:24:15.000 Here's your $2.

02:24:16.000 You guys are fagging out now that there's no video, right?

02:24:20.000 Listen, fella. 0.99

02:24:21.000 Just because you have to use your imagination to masturbate to the sound of my voice now, and you can't see our pretty faces, doesn't mean we're fagging out because there's no video. 0.97

02:24:31.000 We're experimenting, my friend. 0.95

02:24:34.000 How weird is that?

02:24:35.000 You guys are fagging out now. 1.00

02:24:36.000 Oh, are you meaning that we're fagging out like Brian's sucking my cock right now when he's not talking? 0.99

02:24:41.000 No, that's not what's going on at all. 0.97

02:24:44.000 I'll let you see a little video real quick as long as you promise to stop being mean.

02:24:48.000 You promise?

02:24:49.000 No.

02:24:50.000 Stop being mean.

02:24:51.000 I'll let you see a little more video. 1.00

02:24:53.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:24:54.000 This is radio, bitch! 1.00

02:24:56.000 This is the Ustream radio portion of the program. 0.98

02:24:59.000 We're down to 300 viewers, ladies and gentlemen.

02:25:01.000 A lot of people don't like the whole imagination thing.

02:25:04.000 They're not down with it. 1.00

02:25:05.000 They're like, listen, stupid. 1.00

02:25:06.000 I want to see you. 1.00

02:25:08.000 Let's get out of here.

02:25:09.000 This guy says, it was a joke, Joe.

02:25:11.000 I know it was a joke.

02:25:12.000 I was joking back, my friend Andrew Lawrence. 0.86

02:25:14.000 I'm just being silly.

02:25:16.000 I know. 0.65

02:25:17.000 That's the problem, man.

02:25:18.000 You don't know me. 1.00

02:25:20.000 You listen to me talk shit. 1.00

02:25:21.000 Avatar is horrible. 1.00

02:25:22.000 How dare you? 0.99

02:25:24.000 How dare you, Irish temper 69?

02:25:27.000 First of all, anybody that has a 69 in their name, I automatically have to think about your opinion and go, one of two... 1.00

02:25:34.000 Why are you all those cock-sucking pictures? 1.00

02:25:35.000 I'm looking at blowjobs. 1.00

02:25:36.000 There's nothing wrong with that. 0.99

02:25:37.000 Don't do that in front of me. 1.00

02:25:37.000 My dick will get hard, then this turns to a gay off. 1.00

02:25:42.000 Listen, man. 1.00

02:25:43.000 Unless you're 12 years old...

02:25:45.000 Don't have 69 at the end of your name.

02:25:48.000 And if you are 12 years old and you have 69 at the end of your name, who touched you?

02:25:53.000 Who did that to you?

02:25:55.000 Huh? 0.99

02:25:56.000 Or are you just trying to be silly? 1.00

02:25:57.000 You're just trying to be silly? 1.00

02:25:58.000 Irish temper. 1.00

02:25:59.000 I got an Irish temper and I love my dick so I eat something. 1.00

02:26:07.000 Alright, I'm going to turn this off. 1.00

02:26:10.000 I won't be happy unless you call me Erin instead of Ernie.

02:26:14.000 Oh, my apologies.

02:26:16.000 I did not mean that.

02:26:18.000 Erin.

02:26:19.000 Oh, Erin Nem Slander. 1.00

02:26:22.000 That's what it is.

02:26:23.000 I'm sorry.

02:26:24.000 It's a chick, ladies and gentlemen. 0.92

02:26:26.000 Women are very sensitive. 1.00

02:26:27.000 They have to be.

02:26:28.000 They raise babies.

02:26:29.000 Okay?

02:26:30.000 You don't realize that until you have a few.

02:26:32.000 Like, oh, now I know why they're like that. 1.00

02:26:34.000 Because I'm not milking any fucking baby. 0.99

02:26:37.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

02:26:37.000 You need the softer personality, Brian. 1.00

02:26:40.000 And Brian, I understand you're trying to have a baby.

02:26:42.000 Is this true?

02:26:43.000 Yes.

02:26:43.000 I'm joining a pregnancy pack where me and my guy friends, we're all getting together.

02:26:50.000 And there's this place in Pennsylvania with these girls that all want to have babies in high school. 1.00

02:26:56.000 Dude, put that away. 0.96

02:26:57.000 What? 1.00

02:26:58.000 I don't want to watch this chick get a fucking foot job. 1.00

02:27:01.000 Turn that off. 1.00

02:27:01.000 You don't like foot jobs? 1.00

02:27:02.000 This is my house.

02:27:04.000 okay? 1.00

02:27:04.000 You fucking freak. 1.00

02:27:05.000 That's a dude that's totally, completely desensitized by the internet. 1.00

02:27:09.000 He's sitting here, hanging out, and he just puts on some video of the chick jerking a guy off with her feet. 0.90

02:27:14.000 Like, really? 0.98

02:27:15.000 That's okay?

02:27:16.000 You know, you don't even think twice.

02:27:18.000 You're like, was there any kids in the room? 1.00

02:27:20.000 No, fuck it. 1.00

02:27:20.000 Put some porn on. 1.00

02:27:21.000 You just have that running in the background all the time while you're working?

02:27:24.000 No. 0.98

02:27:25.000 You just have porn? 1.00

02:27:25.000 I was just going to show it to you, because, like, who likes that shit? 1.00

02:27:27.000 Some people must. 1.00

02:27:28.000 Some people must be so desensitized.

02:27:30.000 They must have porn going while they're working.

02:27:32.000 Like, spreadsheet, right next to it. 1.00

02:27:34.000 Cock sucking. 0.99

02:27:35.000 Is that us for a second? 0.94

02:27:36.000 It's a second. 1.00

02:27:36.000 Yeah, you saw us for a second, bitch. 1.00

02:27:38.000 We're not sucking cock now, alright? 1.00

02:27:40.000 So you cut it with the gay jokes, man. 1.00

02:27:42.000 It's really not right. 0.91

02:27:43.000 Down to 295 loyal listeners, ladies and gentlemen.

02:27:48.000 295. We're clearing this room.

02:27:50.000 Back to 296. Coming on strong.

02:27:52.000 It's coming back.

02:27:53.000 I'm not even tweeting this.

02:27:54.000 We were trying to get Eddie for the show for today.

02:27:57.000 Yes, my friend Andrew Lawrence.

02:27:59.000 But Eddie is in a plane right now on the way to Japan.

02:28:02.000 Doing chemtrails all the way. 1.00

02:28:04.000 Chemtrails like a motherfucker. 0.99

02:28:06.000 Our buddy Shigeki is fighting in King of the Cage in Okinawa. 0.99

02:28:10.000 So they have to fly over there to see the fights.

02:28:14.000 Is it awkward looking into Goldie's eyes?

02:28:17.000 No.

02:28:17.000 Goldie's my boy.

02:28:19.000 Goldie's my boy.

02:28:20.000 He's a good man.

02:28:22.000 Goldie's a good man.

02:28:24.000 That's one of the cool things about doing the UFC. Mike Goldberg was telling me that he had a gig once upon a time that was a dream gig.

02:28:31.000 It was an awesome gig, but he hated his partner.

02:28:34.000 He did not like the guy. 1.00

02:28:35.000 He said the guy was a dick. 0.98

02:28:36.000 And Goldie's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. 0.99

02:28:38.000 He's such a nice guy.

02:28:40.000 Mike Goldberg is... 0.95

02:28:41.000 I mean, you know, people say he fucks up a lot. 1.00

02:28:43.000 Look, the fucking guy's done... 1.00

02:28:45.000 120 fucking UFCs, alright? 1.00

02:28:47.000 It's gonna be fuck-ups. 0.99

02:28:49.000 You're gonna be able to go back and YouTube it and make a nice clip of him fucking up, for sure. 0.99

02:28:55.000 But who cares? 0.99

02:28:56.000 He's a nice fucking guy. 0.99

02:28:58.000 He does the job. 0.99

02:28:59.000 He gets in there. 0.99

02:29:00.000 He knows what the fuck is going on. 0.99

02:29:02.000 He makes it happen. 0.98

02:29:03.000 And he's a cool dude.

02:29:04.000 I like him.

02:29:05.000 He's a super friendly guy.

02:29:07.000 So, it helps me.

02:29:09.000 Working with a nice guy like that, it's like I look forward to seeing him.

02:29:15.000 Podcast is the new radio.

02:29:16.000 I think it is, man.

02:29:17.000 I really do.

02:29:18.000 I think that this is the future.

02:29:20.000 You know, I think that the only thing that's separating this from regular radio is you don't have this in your car yet.

02:29:28.000 And that's coming.

02:29:28.000 They've already come up with internet-capable car stereos.

02:29:33.000 And you're going to be able to download podcasts directly to it.

02:29:36.000 to it and a lot of people they have setups in their car where they have an iPod and they just they download people's podcasts on their iPod and then they set up where they broadcast their iPod through their car stereo speaker.

02:29:48.000 A lot of you have that, right?

02:29:50.000 I sit in my car and it automatically connects to my iPhone and then I have my whole iTunes on my iPhone play through my sync on Ford.

02:29:57.000 See?

02:29:58.000 That's what I'm talking about. 0.99

02:29:59.000 That's the goddamn future. 0.99

02:30:00.000 And it's going to be just like a DVR. So you know how you get, you know, your TV shows. 0.99

02:30:04.000 I mean, how often do you watch TV shows when they air?

02:30:06.000 Only if you're home and you're looking forward to it, like Lost or something like that, and you sit through the commercials.

02:30:10.000 But it's way better to not do that.

02:30:12.000 It's way better to do it whenever you want it and to be able to control it and fast-forward it. 0.96

02:30:16.000 And if you can download this as an MP3, that's the shit. 0.98

02:30:19.000 You're in the car. 1.00

02:30:20.000 And you're like, oh, these dumb motherfuckers are talking about MMA again. 1.00

02:30:22.000 Let's fast forward five minutes, see what he's talking about. 1.00

02:30:24.000 You know, I mean, you can do whatever you want with it.

02:30:26.000 It's yours.

02:30:26.000 You got it.

02:30:27.000 You control what...

02:30:28.000 You want to pause it.

02:30:29.000 You can do that.

02:30:30.000 You don't miss anything.

02:30:31.000 You want to rewind it.

02:30:32.000 You can do that. 1.00

02:30:33.000 How many times have you been listening to someone talk on the radio and they say some cool shit, but you don't know what the fuck they said? 0.99

02:30:38.000 You're trying to write it down, but you don't have everything in your car. 0.99

02:30:40.000 You're in traffic.

02:30:41.000 How cool would it be to rewind the radio?

02:30:43.000 Well, you can with this.

02:30:45.000 This is way superior to... 1.00

02:30:46.000 They're just broadcasting shit. 1.00

02:30:48.000 Plus, there's not signals in the air that kill the bees. 1.00

02:30:51.000 Cassette tapes for life.

02:30:54.000 Yeah, cassettes, yo.

02:30:56.000 Alright, ladies and gentlemen.

02:30:57.000 I think that's about it.

02:30:58.000 I think we're going to end this because Brian's tired and it's already 4.40.

02:31:01.000 So this is 2 hours and 40 minutes, ladies and gentlemen.

02:31:05.000 So we gave you an extra 10 minutes of actual fake radio.

02:31:10.000 Silence with bubbles and the whole deal.

02:31:13.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:31:16.000 Alright.

02:31:16.000 Do I get any inspiration?

02:31:17.000 Let me answer this though.

02:31:18.000 Did you get a lot of inspiration from this from your interactions with Tom Green?

02:31:22.000 Yeah.

02:31:23.000 Hold on.

02:31:23.000 Where?

02:31:24.000 I don't know.

02:31:24.000 Tom Green?

02:31:25.000 This thing is moving so fast.

02:31:27.000 And his stuff.

02:31:28.000 This is Foonz and Spork.

02:31:35.000 It's moving so fast.

02:31:37.000 It's hard to follow the chat.

02:31:39.000 Yes, definitely. 0.91

02:31:42.000 I did Tom Green's show once, and it's fucking awesome. 0.77

02:31:44.000 He's got this cool-ass house where his whole house is basically like... 0.94

02:31:49.000 He's turned into a studio.

02:31:50.000 He's got this killer setup where he's got servers in his house.

02:31:55.000 I mean, his house is really like the center of it all.

02:31:57.000 It's like we're using Ustream, and Ustream obviously has...

02:32:00.000 You know, some servers set up somewhere, but we're just kind of connected to them and broadcasting to you. 0.95

02:32:06.000 Tom Green's got that shit all out of his house, which is really kind of a crazy expensive way to do it. 0.97

02:32:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:32:11.000 Well, it made sense before all these websites like Ustream came around.

02:32:15.000 Now it's kind of like, well, you didn't have to do it.

02:32:17.000 How is he doing?

02:32:18.000 How's Tom Green's show doing?

02:32:20.000 Are people still watching it?

02:32:21.000 I think it's pay-per-view now or something like that.

02:32:23.000 I think the pay-per-view is the footage, the archives.

02:32:27.000 Mm-hmm.

02:32:28.000 I think it's hard to figure out how to make money with this stuff.

02:32:31.000 That's what it is with these guys.

02:32:32.000 Like Tom Green, trying to figure out how to make money with it.

02:32:35.000 I think it's kind of tricky.

02:32:36.000 He's doing comedy now.

02:32:37.000 He's doing stand-up comedy tours.

02:32:40.000 So yeah, we got a lot of inspiration from all this stuff. 0.97

02:32:42.000 There's a lot of cool shit on the internet. 0.54

02:32:45.000 The internet is where I spend a lot of my time. 0.98

02:32:47.000 It's where Brian spends a lot of his time.

02:32:49.000 And we think that this is the future.

02:32:51.000 I mean, I just got a thing for my car yesterday.

02:32:55.000 I got a new car yesterday.

02:32:56.000 I got an M3, a BMW M3. It's the shit. 1.00

02:32:59.000 And I got a thing where I can hook up my iPod to it. 0.99

02:33:03.000 It's awesome.

02:33:03.000 So my playlist shows up on the screen, and I can scroll through it and pick songs I want.

02:33:09.000 It's so much better than the radio.

02:33:11.000 It's awesome.

02:33:12.000 You can control. 1.00

02:33:13.000 I mean, you can have so much shit. 1.00

02:33:15.000 There's so many interesting things. 1.00

02:33:17.000 You can download books on tape. 0.96

02:33:18.000 There's so much shit that you can throw on an iPod instead of scanning through the radio. 0.97

02:33:22.000 It's like, I mean, you don't even get a guide. 0.99

02:33:25.000 It's like watching the TV by just flipping the channels.

02:33:28.000 You kind of know what's going to be on because you memorized it. 0.98

02:33:32.000 Do you have all these like gay apples in there? 1.00

02:33:34.000 Don't do that. 0.99

02:33:36.000 Later.

02:33:37.000 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much and we will see you next week.

02:33:40.000 Next week we're going to try to do it on Wednesday.

02:33:43.000 Like I said, we're going to have this shit up on iTunes soon. 0.54

02:33:47.000 Thank you very much. 0.93

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 28, 2010

Joe Rogan Experience #6 - Brian Redban

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