Brian and Kevin are back and better than ever. They discuss the new iPad, the new iPhone, and why they don't need them. Also, they talk about the new Storm 2, and how much better it is than the old Storm 2. Also, Kevin and Brian discuss why they think the iPhone is a better phone than the iPad, and what it's like to be on the phone with a drunk guy who doesn't know how to use the phone. They also talk about why the iPad is better than the iPhone and why it's better than a netbook. It's a good one, and it's a bad one, but it's not bad either. Happy New Year and Happy Holidays from the Compound! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. We do not own the rights to either of these songs, credit goes to original artists. This episode was produced and edited by Kevin and Bean. If you like the music, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Music, and we'll be sure to make sure to include it in future episodes of the podcast. Thank you. -Kevin and Bean - Thank you for all the support and support. Brian and Kevin Kevin & Bean - The Kevin and Bean show is a production of Gimlet Media. . Brian's music is produced and produced by Kevin & Bean's Music is produced by Vaynerdz. The music is provided by P&B Records, and is licensed under a third-party record company. , and the music used in this episode was done in conjunction with the song was produced by and by a third party artist is a proud affiliate of in partnership with on this episode of . . . and is available on SoundCloud, , Music on Soundcloud, and all rights reserved, and the original music is owned by , in this podcast, and and all other rights reserved to be owned by the at no other person owns any other person s rights to use in any other workspace or any other company s credit is owned or credit given to third party of any credit given, and other such use in the public domain thanks to .
00:01:35.000Brian is all in a tizzy about the goddamn iPad.
00:01:41.000And me, I Twittered that I don't need an iPad because I'm a fucking man and I can carry a goddamn backpack with a laptop and I don't complain like a little bitch.
00:03:45.000Like when you compare the two of them together, there's no comparison.
00:03:48.000Like sometimes, say if I call you and I have a little picture for your face when I call you and I go to call somebody else, when I start calling somebody else, your picture will show up and then it'll change.
00:04:00.000So it's like the things like, oh, who am I calling?
00:05:12.000Well, here's the whole thing about this.
00:05:13.000What I'm thinking now is I'm thinking, alright, I like my iPhone, but I only use it because once in a while I want something small to surf the net and do basic shit with.
00:06:49.000I think they're trying to keep it down price-wise under $500.
00:06:53.000Because here's the thing, if you're going to buy a book reader right now, you're on Amazon.com, you're looking at the Kindle, the big Kindle, that's $10 cheaper than this thing.
00:11:00.000The only way to interact with people is...
00:11:02.000I mean, the internet is the greatest for that.
00:11:06.000There's people that could never have relationships, that didn't have any friends, that had nothing going on in their real life, but they developed whole internet worlds, man.
00:11:16.000Quake player buddies of mine, when I was seriously addicted to playing Quake, there's dudes that lived their whole life on the internet.
00:11:23.000And that's where all their friendships came from.
00:11:25.000And you get to know people like they're in...
00:13:01.000Well, you know, things that are possible are so nutty.
00:13:03.000You know, why do you think that, I mean, that could be just some weird side effect of speech that when you reverse things it says the opposite of what the person, or what the person really means is possible.
00:13:14.000The world is so nutty as it is, the fact that we're on this sphere That hovers around this gigantic nuclear explosion and it flies to the galaxy.
00:13:24.000But everybody wants to talk about the cast of Jersey Shore renegotiating their deal.
00:13:28.000I mean, that's like the number one conversation.
00:13:31.000Or how many more millions are they going to give Conan O'Brien at Fox?
00:13:35.000Or how many more chicks did Tiger Woods fuck?
00:13:38.000Is his wife going to get back together with him?
00:13:40.000It's like we get so caught up in nonsense.
00:13:43.000And I've been trying to figure that out more and more as I get older, like what it is.
00:13:48.000Because it's not just, I say, you know, people.
00:13:52.000I get caught up in that stupid shit too.
00:13:53.000I was wondering what was going to happen to John when he left Kate because he wasn't making any money anymore.
00:13:58.000And all of a sudden he has to pay mad alimony, you know, because I think they probably negotiated that shit when he was on the show and he was making good money.
00:14:05.000But they kicked him off that show and then they're going to sue him.
00:14:08.000And the poor dude, you know, I mean, he just fell apart in front of the whole world.
00:14:13.000First, he fell apart in front of the whole world because he was married to that chick who was just treating him like shit.
00:14:18.000Like, you would watch that show and be like, wow, that bitch is harsh.
00:14:22.000But then you realize, god damn, could you imagine having eight kids with that weak dude?
00:21:05.000And I would watch him from the window across the street from our house.
00:21:08.000Dude, it was like National Geographic.
00:21:11.000He'd fucking chase him and then scream.
00:21:14.000Squirrels trying to leave and he pounce on their back and get their back and sink their teeth into the neck and drag this thing in between his legs.
00:22:55.000I got, uh, came after by a skunk last week.
00:22:59.000And the skunk, like, charged me and the dog.
00:23:01.000Of course, my dog's just like, kill, kill, kill.
00:23:03.000Won't listen to me, but doesn't know it's gonna spray him, and then that's gonna be like five hours of my time of trying to use vinegar and shit.
00:23:09.000Imagine what that smells like to a dog.
00:23:11.000Those dogs have these insane sense of smells.
00:23:20.000That would be like an animal that's trying to commit suicide.
00:23:23.000If that was the evolutionary thing, the dogs loved it, you'd spray your shit, the dogs liked it, they'd want you to spray it, so they'd want to kill you all the time.
00:24:48.000It's because as it's going through your system, it's creating this 11-hydroxy metabolite, which I like.
00:24:55.000One of the reasons why I like it is because it makes me very self-critical.
00:24:59.000It makes me examine all sorts of things about myself.
00:25:02.000If there's anything about myself that I don't like, if I'm being lazy, if I'm being a douchebag, if I'm being short with people, if I'm not focused on what I really should be focused on in my life, anything that might be bugging me, my subconscious mind, This 11-hydroxy makes you think about it, like, in depth.
00:25:23.000If you've got some shit that you're pushing in the back of your head, you know, it's like what people call, I was paranoid, I was paranoid.
00:25:29.000I think what paranoia is, is people that, when you get high on marijuana, I think what paranoia is people who just are, they're getting too much information for them to manage, and they haven't done such a good job of managing their consciousness in the first place.
00:25:42.000And so when this stuff is hitting them, what's happening is they're just, it's overload, and they can't control it, and they freak out, and they say, I can't smoke weed.
00:25:51.000But I think it's more indicative of this, you don't really know how you feel about yourself.
00:25:57.000You don't really know how you feel about life.
00:25:59.000You're looking at life through barriers because you're trying to not see everything, because you're trying to focus on one particular thing with your life or trying to get your shit together.
00:26:10.000And you don't realize how many things about your life really are freaking you out and bothering you until you smoke pot and pot just Makes you examine them.
00:26:17.000You know, we, as people, we like to avoid shit that bugs us.
00:26:23.000It's like when people overeat to get over some childhood molestation, they don't even fucking realize what they're doing.
00:26:28.000They're just distracting themselves with something else.
00:26:30.000You know, I think we do shit like that all the time.
00:26:52.000You're not looking at it all as clearly as you could.
00:26:57.000And those jolts of perception, you misinterpret as paranoia.
00:27:03.000What you're doing is just dealing with the information that's already been there.
00:27:07.000Just the fact that you're this fleshy, temporary, soft, mushy creature that is literally connected with nothing above your head except gases and air and then fucking space.
00:27:19.000And above that, there's asteroids and planets and fucking giant nuclear explosions and suns.
00:27:26.000And you're just this thing that doesn't exactly know what it's doing and is kind of like going along with the flow of everybody else and sitting in traffic like everybody else, hoping that someone of us is like guiding this thing.
00:27:40.000And that is, if you're not thinking about that, if you haven't addressed that as a human being and you start eating fucking pot brownies, that shit will club you over the head.
00:29:18.000So the video is this redheaded guy that gives like a speech for four minutes and it's kind of like Leave Britney Alone style and it's just, it's, you don't want, he brings up God and religion through it and stuff and it's just, you sit there like terrified of this guy.
00:31:06.000It's like if you roll down the hill, in the mud, you're going to look different than the person next to you.
00:31:10.000Yeah, that's why people really have to have compassion.
00:31:14.000You know, if we really are all the same thing, this is my theory if you haven't heard it before, and I had this when I ate some pot, and I was on a boat in Hawaii, and I was on this boat, and we were fishing, and there was dolphins that were next to the boat.
00:32:01.000I was thinking, I wonder if they have the exact same consciousness.
00:32:04.000It's just filtered through an entirely different environment, a totally different skin, you know, you're in a fish's body, and a totally different way of communicating, a totally different language that's almost indecipherable, but what if it's exactly the same thing, the inside, the consciousness?
00:32:18.000And then I thought about it, I'm like, oh my god, what if that's the case with people?
00:32:22.000What if we are all exactly the same thing, we just are transmitted through different biological filters, different life experiences, different childhoods, different everything, different bad genetic rolls of the dice.
00:32:35.000I mean, people are born with different ailments and diseases, and people are born crippled.
00:32:39.000You know, the reason why you're supposed to have compassion is that easily could have been you.
00:32:44.000It's just like a filter that the consciousness is going through, but the consciousness is one thing.
00:33:12.000You know that if you watch porn, right?
00:33:14.000There's people that were blessed with gigantic dicks, and there's poor dudes with little tiny dicks, and there's girls with incredible bodies, and there's other girls that like...
00:33:22.000No matter what they do, they can't lose that last 20 pounds.
00:33:37.000These various chemicals and then on top of these various chemicals that are all in balance, all these different hormones, on top of that, then it's like how does this particular model interact with its environment?
00:34:22.000How much of it is what you learned from your parents?
00:34:24.000And how much of theirs is the same shit?
00:34:26.000How much of your personality is really just you reacting and saying what you have to say and doing what you have to do to get by in your environment?
00:34:33.000But at the core of everybody, from fucking serial killers to the most compassionate people on earth, It's very likely that the consciousness is the same, male, female, that's all biological.
00:34:44.000It's very logical that the thinking, it's very possible that the root of it all, when you think about yourself as you, that it's all the same.
00:35:02.000Yeah, that's really interesting because then when there's personality tests on websites, like those dating websites we were talking about, you take personality tests.
00:35:11.000So you're all trying to take a test that's based on what?
00:35:31.000At a certain point in time, as a human being, you become responsible for your own biology.
00:35:36.000And that's what we don't teach people.
00:35:38.000What we need to teach kids in school, there needs to be, you know, you have math and you have English, and these are all very important subjects, but what we also need is how to manage your mind.
00:36:26.000We're never taught that shit in school.
00:36:27.000If they really want to teach you how to be a good employee, how to make a good living, being a better person, being better at being a person, being better at managing your life is very important.
00:36:39.000They should be teaching kids how to think correctly early in school, and they should have discipline.
00:36:44.000And I don't mean discipline by like, you know, do what everybody tells you to do.
00:37:55.000Infanticide and dolphins, I think that's what it's called.
00:37:58.000What they do is the female dolphins try to fuck as many male dolphins as they can...
00:38:03.000Because if they run across a male dolphin that they haven't fucked and they have babies, the male might kill the babies to get the female to breed.
00:38:11.000Because the females won't breed while they're taking care of their young.
00:38:14.000So they have to fuck as many male dolphins as they can so that when they do come across a male dolphin and he sees them with a baby, if she fucked him, he won't kill the babies because he doesn't know if they're his.
00:39:44.000This is a story that I wrote on the internet, and this I would like to ask you, Twitter people and people watching on Ustream.
00:39:52.000I wonder if it's possible that this is a true story.
00:39:57.000What I heard was that the orcas, or killer whales, used to attack people and been attacking people for a long time, but then after World War II, they stopped.
00:40:07.000And one of the reasons why is because American soldiers were apparently targeting killer whales in the ocean for practice.
00:40:15.000You know, that's how they would work on their, you know, shooting out of their planes.
00:40:19.000And they would drop bombs on them and shit.
00:40:21.000The whales just completely stopped eating people.
00:40:24.000I mean, that doesn't, that seems like something somebody made up, right?
00:40:31.000You know, because I know cultures do have, like, images, like old Eskimo images, just like a killer whale attacking people, like really ancient stuff.
00:40:39.000I wonder, uh, that'd be interesting if they knew what was up.
00:40:43.000You know, if, like, oh, these motherfuckers can fly now and drop shit from them.
00:41:38.000Imagine if there was something like that with us.
00:41:40.000If those are all the same intelligence, imagine if there's something like that with us, like some giant trolls that were just as smart as us and would come in and kill people.
00:41:47.000Just show up at your village and start eating us and just jacking us.
00:42:45.000Some new monster is going to come from the sky.
00:42:47.000Yeah, we would never be able to get to this point.
00:42:49.000The reason why we've got to this point with technology and with our inventions and all this shit, the reason why is because no one's been eating us.
00:46:34.000The last time I went, I wrote that piece about the zoo, the animal prison in the blog.
00:46:38.000But I realized that I was super baked.
00:46:42.000Like we talked about earlier, when you're super baked, you're much more sensitive.
00:46:46.000And I was watching these animals and I'm like, this is a horrendous life.
00:46:49.000Just because they can move doesn't mean they're alive.
00:46:51.000They don't allow the predators to kill and eat.
00:46:54.000That's like they take you away and you can't talk to people ever again.
00:46:59.000You get locked up in a room by yourself and something else other than you has to stare at you.
00:47:05.000You don't even get the one pleasure that animals that are predators get.
00:47:11.000The reason why they go after the kill, it must be orgasmic.
00:47:16.000I mean, it's what they need to stay alive, and they're doing it with their mouth, and they're feeling the life leave the animal, and I mean, it's imperative for them to be really awesome at killing things in order for them to survive.
00:48:11.000BAM! You got that motherfucker right by the neck and you feel its heartbeat and its legs are kicking and you just put that little antelope down.
00:48:33.000I mean, if you're going to keep them around, I can see the argument much more to kill all the predators.
00:48:38.000than I could to keep any of them around in cages.
00:48:41.000You know, because I can see like you saying, listen, we're going to get some video of all these animals that can eat us.
00:48:47.000We'll get some nice video documented, a bunch of different formats, MPEG, MOV, put on iPhones, and then we're going to kill them.
00:48:55.000We're going to kill all of them, anything that kills us.
00:48:57.000But what if they were to do it like they had a huge open crazy space and they made it kind of like fun and everything that they would want, but then they would like throw in like, oh, here's a cow into the situation.
00:49:47.000And the females are bigger than normal African male lions, or as big, if not bigger, than normal African male lions, which is unprecedented.
00:51:14.000You know, I mean, just the fact that that exists.
00:51:16.000I mean, how many people out there knew?
00:51:18.000I bet a lot of you guys knew about those lions in Africa.
00:51:22.000But, you know, you talk to them because you're on the internet and shit and you're savvy enough to be on the Ustream.
00:51:28.000But how many fucking people really, you know, know anything about the animal world or space or, you know, I mean, you start seeing things about, like, hypernovas.
00:51:39.000They blow up, like, everything, like, within, you know, 100 million fucking light years and everything gets cooked and they happen all the time throughout the galaxy and you're like, what?
00:52:49.000Went to go get the nicotine patches, and they wanted to quit smoking faster, so they put every single one of the nicotine patches on their body.
00:53:51.000Two out of three are saying these three reviews are on the front page.
00:53:56.000Anyway, the documentary itself, if these poor guys could get their DVD to work, it's fucking incredible.
00:54:02.000I mean, it just shows you how quickly life can adapt.
00:54:05.000You know, there's these, you know, the Amazon rainforest has only existed, not the Amazon, rather the Congo, has only existed in that form for like a few thousand years.
00:54:15.000And thousands of years before that, it was like grasslands.
00:54:19.000So there's animals that are trapped inside the Congo that are animals that live on the grass plains.
00:54:25.000Like rhinos are trapped in there and deer and antelope.
00:54:28.000And there's one little antelope that has developed the ability to swim underwater because the Congo is filled with water.
00:54:36.000Developed the ability to swim underwater up to 100 yards and it eats fish.
00:54:57.000And it finds another water hole and then there's this fucking bird that eats it that looks like a goddamn dinosaur.
00:55:03.000It's a six foot tall evil giant bird with this crazy big ass fucking beak like this big killing machine attached to its face and it's got these dead eyes like these dead crazy dinosaur eagle eyes and it jacks this fucking old dinosaur walking fish and you're like whoa that's a nutty goddamn place.
00:55:33.000This eagle is on top of a cliff and there's all these goats and it's just grabbing them and throwing them off the cliffs so they would die and eat them at the body.
00:55:41.000And it can barely carry them, but it's dragging them.
00:57:37.000Yeah, aminoalkylindole family, which acts as a cannabinoid, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:57:47.000Well, it must be something that gets you fucked up.
00:57:50.000I'm sure there's a lot of those things, too.
00:57:52.000I don't want to mess with any different new things.
00:57:54.000This sounds crazy coming from someone who's done as many psychedelics as I have, but I think the shit that you should do is the shit that people have been doing for thousands of years.
00:58:02.000You can't go wrong with San Pedro cactus.
00:58:05.000You can't go wrong with cannabis mushrooms.
00:59:47.000It's fucking really bizarre that we enforce it so strictly.
00:59:52.000It's such a strong ethic in our culture that if we catch you using certain plants that have nothing to do with me, they're not affecting me at all, but if I catch you with these plants, I'm allowed by our laws to lock you in a cage.
01:00:10.000If you have a giant-ass bag of mushrooms and you are driving on your way to the woods and a cop pulls you over and says, what are you doing?
01:00:19.000You're like, well, I'm about to have a spiritual experience with the Lord.
01:00:21.000The cop will go, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:00:23.000Well, I have these mushrooms that I'm going to go out to.
01:04:22.000Dude, they learned how to do that hunting seals.
01:04:25.000They take their nose and they hang over the edge of a glacier, a floating ice raft, and they hang over the edge so that these seals don't see them.
01:05:18.000That lady just thought just because she was putting a diaper on this chimp, you know, and giving it Xanax, and she would give it wine and shit.
01:05:25.000That was like a fake boyfriend she had.
01:06:37.000They have these things I just found, I don't know if I told you this or not, where they go over the claw, you use glue, and you put glue in these little claws and it goes over the claw.
01:10:39.000it's me my people this dude is saying I did a job CT Dirt says, I did a job and these people fed wild raccoons and they scratched at the door like a cat.
01:11:07.000I've seen squirrels that you can feed.
01:11:08.000There's a park in North Hollywood and if you bring peanuts, especially if you lie down so the squirrel doesn't feel like you're in a threatening position to chase after them, You know, you lie down, like, on your stomach, and you hold up, and the fucking squirrel will come up to you real gingerly, make sure you're not crazy, and he'll take that peanut.
01:11:24.000And some dudes that the squirrels know really well, they'll just sit right in front of the dude and eat his peanuts.
01:12:19.000But like if they review favorably, say like an Apple product, Then the next time Apple has a product out, they'll give them an exclusive.
01:12:25.000So it's like a lot of these websites don't want to bash or tell the truth because they don't want to ruin future products and stuff like that.
01:13:44.000Because it would be, talking to people, your mind would work so much better than it works With, you know, sitting in a normal environment like here talking to you and sitting on a couch and the lights and the laptop and all this input coming in, you don't realize how much this has an effect on your ability to, like, see things clearly.
01:14:01.000And you see things very, very clear in that tank.
01:14:04.000And I think if you're in that tank and you just start talking, it's going to fuck up a little bit of the experience because you're going to hear things.
01:14:10.000You're going to hear yourself both in your ears, you'll hear it in your ears, and you'll hear it in your head.
01:16:38.000Like, whenever people ask, like, drug questions, like, hey man, if I'm in Tallahassee, where can I get DMT? And someone will write, laziest DEA agent ever.
01:18:22.000You know, like alcohol, I think alcohol should be 18 with supervision.
01:18:28.000Meaning, like, you know, it should be okay for, like, your dad to give you a beer when you're 18 years old, you know, or you come with your dad to a place where his buddy has a bar and, you know, just gonna come with my boy, just gonna have a beer.
01:18:50.000Take away all the mystique of what alcohol really is.
01:18:53.000And that should be the same thing with weed.
01:18:54.000The real problem with Anything that affects your mind is that we don't have enough people out there that are explaining to people how to manage that shit.
01:19:03.000And with alcoholics, at least they have Alcoholics Anonymous, and they can help guide you back on the right track, but there's no people out there that are telling you, You know, like, explaining to you how to incorporate weed successfully in your life for the maximum benefits.
01:19:17.000You know, I mean, shit, maybe we should write a book about that.
01:20:03.000Expressed as an ethic through the entire human community that it's wrong to be drunk and obnoxious and be a fucking douchebag and ruin other people's good time.
01:20:13.000And that should be something we all agree upon.
01:20:14.000It shouldn't be something funny like, Oh, remember that time you got drunk and ripped that girl's shirt off?
01:20:19.000That should be horrifying to everyone involved.
01:20:23.000All that is, is the reason why we don't address that is we have this crazy way of looking at drugs.
01:20:29.000We look at drugs like somehow or another they're all bad.
01:24:24.000I use a French press, you know, and it's like I grind my own coffee, you know, you get a burr grinder, and I get these beans only from, these Kona beans from Hawaii are my favorite.
01:24:39.000And I would take it at like 10 o'clock at night, and man, I couldn't get to bed until 5, 6 o'clock in the morning, and then when I finally did crash, I felt like shit the next day, and I did it a bunch of days in a row, and then I tried to stop.
01:24:51.000And once I tried to stop, I got these serious headaches.
01:26:48.000Y-O-U. And it's not an R. There's an apostrophe and then there's an RE. It's short for UR. It's not short for something I own, you motherfucker.
01:26:57.000Have you been playing Quake Live at all?
01:27:00.000I've fucked that up all the time, though.
01:27:57.000So if you have a little case, like a statue, that you have your iPad in, just have that, throw that in there, turn it on, and you have Verizon wherever you go.
01:28:04.000Look at this motherfucker just hacking the system, bitches.
01:28:08.000Yeah, and that's another thing that's going to be big.
01:28:09.000Man purses are going to have to come back because of this thing.
01:30:56.000So what they're saying is that what if you use it like you have a Razer phone in your pocket and you go into the comedy club and you have this little thing the size of a little notepad.
01:31:31.000I think people are bashing it and freaking out about it because there's a couple things that it doesn't do flash and stuff, but that's another reason.
01:33:11.000Well, see, the problem is they started using Flash back in the day because that was an easy way to take video, put it on the internet so anyone can watch it because people's internet connections kind of sucked and, you know, and it was in one format.
01:33:23.000What HTML 5.0 does is pretty much make, I think it's H2.64.
01:33:27.000Like, video will just play in the browser, kind of like how a GIF works.
01:33:32.000An animated GIF will work no matter what because it's made in the coding of the browser.
01:33:37.000So this will make videos and stuff like that just be in the coding and just work.
01:33:44.000Guess who's editing the HTML5.0 coding?
01:33:53.000A guy that works at Google and a guy that works at Apple.
01:33:58.000So you have long had this theory that there's a battle going on between Apple and Flash, and you think that one of the reasons why Apple has such a hard time working with Flash is to make it shitty on purpose so that people move away from Flash.
01:34:12.000Well, I think that's a good theory, definitely.
01:34:15.000But the big thing is that no one in Silicon Valley works together.
01:34:21.000Amazon and Apple, and they're all not working together as a team.
01:34:25.000They're all having to fight and do the opposite of what this person's doing.
01:34:31.000If Flash releases a new plugin that works with Firefox or whatever, but doesn't work for Safari, They're trying to work for Safari, but Safari changes something, and then it fucks all their shit up.
01:34:42.000It's constantly like that with everything in Silicon Valley.
01:36:49.000To have words that you can't use around certain people and you can't use when you broadcast them, you'll be fined hundreds of thousands of dollars.
01:36:57.000That is just a gigantic distraction that's complete, total mind control.
01:37:03.000It's a technique that they're using to try to control the population.
01:39:05.000Okay, well, that dude who was talking earlier with TH Chitt and we were giving you a hard time with the radio wrote something, I completely apologize, sir.
01:40:29.000I mean, obviously, um, uh, Sacha Baron Cohen, who, in my opinion, is one of the funniest guys of all time, but he's not really a stand-a-domic.
01:40:37.000He's, like, a crazy prankster, hilarious guy, you know?
01:40:41.000Did you see somebody was fucking a chicken on a subway yesterday?
01:40:44.000And somebody recorded it on video, just like, you know, how Sacha...
01:40:47.000Oh, it's one of the signs of the apocalypse.
01:43:25.000Whether a president's a yoga master and he does it, you know, all naturally, or whether our president's a stoner, or whether our president's a guy who likes to go into the jungle and take ayahuasca with a shaman.
01:43:36.000We need someone who has a leader's way of seeing the world.
01:43:40.000Someone who sees it outside of this crazy, predetermined pattern that we're on right now.
01:43:45.000You know, I mean, I wrote this article about...
01:43:48.000It's on my blog about the Large Hadron Collider and how crazy it is that, like, at a certain point in time, science got to this weird point.
01:43:55.000And I'm not trashing it in any way because I'm fascinated by technology.
01:43:58.000I'm just making an observation that when we first started inventing things, it was to improve the quality of our life.
01:44:03.000You know, we invented spears so that we didn't have to chase after the animals and bite them with our teeth.
01:44:09.000We invented houses so we survive under the rain.
01:44:12.000But at a certain point in time, it got completely...
01:44:16.000Past that, and now, even though we have all sorts of things to deal with with the human race, like poverty and what's going on in Haiti and Liberia, the Vice Guide to Liberia, if you haven't seen that document, god damn!
01:44:28.000These fucking dudes went to Liberia, which is this crazy nation in Africa that has rampant cannibalism.
01:44:36.000People are constantly killing each other and eating each other.
01:44:38.000They're selling human meat on the street.
01:44:40.000I mean, this one dude talked about it.
01:44:43.000They called him General butt naked and this fucking crazy guy would kill babies and he talks about it.
01:44:50.000How he would kill innocent children from the opposing tribe or whoever the fuck they were at war with, cut out their heart and they would all eat the heart and it would strengthen them for battle and make them invulnerable to bullets.
01:45:03.000I mean, this guy talks openly about eating people, about what you eat.
01:45:06.000If you're hungry, for hunger you eat like the soft part, like the stomach and the inside of the thigh because it's tender.
01:45:12.000I mean, he's talking about like what you eat, what part of a person.
01:45:16.000He was talking about how he turned this guy in, he was eating street food, like he bought some chicken skewers or something, and it was human meat, and he could tell because he's eaten it so many times, so he explained to the police that this guy's serving human food, and you have him arrested, and now the guy's like a crazy evangelist.
01:45:32.000And he preaches in front of all these people.
01:47:05.000You look at how Liberia is, that's going to change the way you look at everything.
01:47:09.000The fact that this could go on today, in 2010, and not even have it be a subject that makes the 5 o'clock news, that it's more important to find out some new girl that Tiger Woods fucked, I mean, really.
01:47:22.000There's people in Liberia that are eating people on a regular basis.
01:48:58.000Um, do you watch the Pakistan gun market thing on Vice TV? No, the only thing I've seen on Vice TV right now is that Liberia thing, but that fucking, what those guys are doing is incredible, and I've heard all their videos are incredible.
01:52:02.000They're all on Redband.com or if you just want to check out the video part of it because I have a written review and a regular video review.
01:52:08.000But if you go to YouTube backslash Let's Find Jesus...
01:57:00.000You know, it's almost like at this point in time, I thought that Right before Obama got elected, when it looked like he was going to win, I was like, wow, this is so crazy.
01:57:18.000This guy's a black guy from a single mom, and the way he says he's going to get everybody out of Afghanistan and get everybody out of Iraq.
01:57:46.000When you look at the enemy, you look at attacks on America, there's this big giant distraction.
01:57:51.000The big fear is things we have to worry about from other nations, from all over the place.
01:57:57.000There's a lot of crime and violence in America that we've got to worry about.
01:58:01.000Before we worry about crime, a giant group called the Taliban acting to kill Americans, worry about the thousands of people that we kill every day.
01:58:10.000How the fuck do we put a stop to that shit?
01:58:12.000How do we put a stop to Senseless violent crime in America.
01:58:16.000And then we gotta deal with the fact that we're right next door to Mexico.
01:58:20.000And Mexico is way crazier than Iraq and Afghanistan combined.
01:58:24.000More people get murdered in Mexico than anywhere in the world.
01:58:33.000Victor Dabula, the guy who does the Spanish version of my job for the UFC, Great guy.
01:58:41.000He was living in Juarez, and he told me, it was some crazy statistic, you'll have to Google it, but it was like five times more people died in Juarez in one year than died in the Iraq War.
01:58:54.000They're just killing people left and right down there, and the reason why they're doing it is because there's so much money in selling illegal drugs to the United States from Mexico.
01:59:05.000These guys get so goddamn rich and they're fighting over so much that the violence is insane and they're killing police officers and politicians and they brought over fucking tanks and shit and they got tanks running through the streets in Juarez.
01:59:17.000I mean, this shit is happening literally to a country that's connected to us.
02:00:10.000There's oil controlling the natural gas pipeline.
02:00:12.000The reason why people have been trying to get to Afghanistan over and over again for so many years, while the Soviets invaded them, they're trying to get the resources.
02:00:20.000Whenever we fuck with other countries, we're trying to get their resources.
02:01:34.000You know, it's crazy that we have countries still.
02:01:38.000I mean, it's crazy that there's like an area where if you're born over here, you're fucked, you're shit out of luck, and we don't let you come to the good spot.
02:01:44.000It's not like just one planet that we all live on.
02:01:47.000We, like, separate it, we guard the borders, and we have fucking guns and shit, and they'll...
02:01:51.000You know, there's, like, a lot of stories about Border Patrol shooting people that are, you know, like, holding a rock at 100 yards.
02:01:57.000You know, you can't hit them with a rock.
02:02:28.000Do you think everybody would just come over?
02:02:29.000If they said, okay, now there's no immigration, there's just one country, the United States, Canada, and Mexico, everything that's attached is one country.
02:03:41.000The North American Union, this gentleman says, Pantera 33. Yeah, that's what it's supposed to be.
02:03:46.000The North American Union is supposed to be this fucking crazy, how would you describe it, New World Order conspiracy that we're moving towards one world government and sort of how, like, in Europe they have the euro that, like, goes through it, one money source, that we're going to do that with the Amero in America.
02:04:06.000And, you know, Lou Dobbs actually talked about it on CNN. But, you know, Lou Dobbs might be crazy.
02:04:12.000Obama was really interesting when he addressed it.
02:04:50.000I mean, that's one of the things they said about Bush, that Bush met with the heads of all these different energy companies and oil companies.
02:04:57.000And it's like common practice that like, or it's common knowledge rather, that policy was dictated after he had these meetings.
02:05:07.000I mean, how does anybody not expect that?
02:05:09.000If you pay people millions of dollars, you give them millions of dollars of your money to get them into office, once they're in office, you bribe them.
02:05:33.000And the Supreme Court recently just stopped the cap on spending on it.
02:05:37.000They said that they treated them as an individual, that a corporation is like an individual, so they can spend as much money on campaigns as they want.
02:07:20.000Politics are so complex that at a certain point in time, you have to look at your resources.
02:07:25.000You have to look at your life and go, how much time do I have to deal with this shit?
02:07:28.000How much time do I have to take care of my children, to pay my bills, to manage my career, to go to the gym, to hang out with my friends, to...
02:09:00.000I mean, it's amazing how just blatant they are.
02:09:03.000It's almost like it's so corrupt that nothing's going to fix it.
02:09:07.000And I feel like when I think about investing my time and trying to pay attention to it or, God, for a fucking bit, trying to do something to fix it, it's like it's so fucked up.
02:09:17.000It would take a hundred lives of a hundred people living a hundred lives just to bring it back to baseline, just to bring it back to no corruption.
02:09:26.000You know, politics in America are so fucked up and corrupt.
02:09:30.000And when I talk to people that really know about it, I know some dudes who run some big businesses, and I've talked to them about politics, about what campaigns and what contributing is really all about.
02:09:52.000There's no way you should be a guy reading a goddamn script written by 20 experts in English and the right way to phrase things and great writers who know how to mimic some of the responses that people got to historical speeches.
02:10:07.000Well, Teddy Roosevelt was in a similar situation.
02:15:04.000And a lot of them signed up to do the right thing, to try to protect communities.
02:15:07.000And then they get involved in it, and I think that's when things get squirrely.
02:15:10.000And, you know, you do realize that, yeah, it is kind of fucking silly that I could tell a guy who can't do this, and I'm going to lock him in a cage, and you think you're doing okay because you're just doing your job.
02:15:19.000Well, if they make pot legal, that's 50% of the fucking people who are in prison.
02:16:49.000Yeah, because people have convenient memories.
02:16:52.000When I was a kid, amongst anybody who was intelligent, I lived in Boston, which is a fairly liberal, very intelligent town, very, you know...
02:18:26.000I'm thinking two a week would be better than one.
02:18:27.000I want to do it like a regular thing and have it so that you can RSS it and subscribe to it and get it automatically downloaded to your iTunes and all that jazz.
02:19:23.000The people who are still here, ladies and gentlemen, we will now broadcast only in audio.
02:19:27.000This is the secret session that nobody told anybody about, but because you decided to stick around and keep your fucking Ustream open, you're here.
02:19:42.000Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to keep this bumping.
02:20:49.000We lost, you know, we lost people with itchy trigger fingers.
02:20:52.000It's like when you go to the movies, and sometimes you go to the movies, and you just don't sit through the credits, but there's some funny shit in the credits, like Bachelor, The Bachelor, or The Bachelor Party?
02:22:08.000I think there is something about that.
02:22:10.000I like listening to the radio, too, man.
02:22:12.000I love satellite radio for that very reason, you know?
02:22:15.000Satellite radio is the shit, but this is basically satellite radio for everybody.
02:22:18.000You don't even have to pay for it, you know?
02:22:20.000I mean, I think satellite radio is awesome, and I have, in my car, I have Sirius with the best of XM. So I can get Howard Stern, and I can get Opie and Anthony, and I can get Bubba the Love Sponge, and I can get, you know, Ron and Fez, and I can get POTUS Politics.
02:22:39.000I think what this is, though, what this is, is even more exciting.
02:22:43.000Because this is like radio that anybody can do.
02:22:46.000I mean, Brian and I are just sitting here in my living room, and we got this fucking microphone that we bought at the Mac store, and it's connected to our laptops.
02:22:56.000And, you know, I mean, if we were, like, charging you guys a lot of money, and we wanted to have some sort of a production value to this thing, yeah, I can understand that.
02:24:21.000Just because you have to use your imagination to masturbate to the sound of my voice now, and you can't see our pretty faces, doesn't mean we're fagging out because there's no video.
02:29:28.000They've already come up with internet-capable car stereos.
02:29:33.000And you're going to be able to download podcasts directly to it.
02:29:36.000to it and a lot of people they have setups in their car where they have an iPod and they just they download people's podcasts on their iPod and then they set up where they broadcast their iPod through their car stereo speaker.
02:30:33.000How many times have you been listening to someone talk on the radio and they say some cool shit, but you don't know what the fuck they said?
02:30:38.000You're trying to write it down, but you don't have everything in your car.