The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #684 - Brian Redban

00:00:00.000 Ah, freaks and freakettes. 1.00

00:00:02.000 We're back.

00:00:03.000 We're back with lots of stories because the internet is filled with pleasurable news items.

00:00:10.000 It's been a fun weekend, right?

00:00:12.000 It's been a fun weekend for you.

00:00:13.000 Brian loves a cause.

00:00:16.000 Brian is sometimes a bit aimless, and when he finds a cause, boy, does he get excited.

00:00:20.000 And his cause was this gentleman who calls himself the Fat Jewish, or Fat Jew, depending on who you ask. 0.99

00:00:27.000 And you know what's really fucked up? 0.99

00:00:29.000 I was telling people to check out his Instagram. 0.61

00:00:31.000 Because I'm like guys always get some funny stuff on there I didn't even think about where it came from because to me as a comic I guess like a self-centered thing like I think of like stealing jokes is like stealing like someone does stand-up and they do jokes I never thought of like memes as jokes,

00:00:47.000 but they really are and a lot of them are From like an individual page like this is a girl that he stole from it's really funny And I went to her page and it's all her own shit and she's was her name Which one are you talking about?

00:01:01.000 I've actually gone through the last 24 hours and have checked over almost a hundred different people I've been researching.

00:01:09.000 Well, there's one of the ones that you retweeted.

00:01:11.000 One of the ones that I retweeted that you put up, it was a girl, an attractive young lady with dark brown hair.

00:01:19.000 I'll find it real quick.

00:01:20.000 But point being, these people, they, you know...

00:01:26.000 Before Brian was a stand-up comic, when I met Brian, Brian used to do really funny videos.

00:01:31.000 And there was a time where you...

00:01:32.000 What is her name? 0.99

00:01:34.000 Goddammit. 0.99

00:01:34.000 Princess of Wi-Fi. 0.99

00:01:35.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:01:36.000 Yeah.

00:01:36.000 Hilarious.

00:01:37.000 Yeah, and it's super funny because I never even realized it.

00:01:40.000 It's a smart one where she posts a bunch of emojis...

00:01:44.000 And it says, shout out to the snail for facing the other way.

00:01:47.000 Because the one emoji animal that's not facing the same way is the snail.

00:01:51.000 Yeah.

00:01:51.000 And so he pretty much just copied every single thing she did and put it on his thing and didn't credit her.

00:02:00.000 Yeah.

00:02:00.000 It's time stamped, and that's another thing nowadays.

00:02:02.000 Everything's time stamped.

00:02:04.000 And so when I've been researching all these, a lot of people have already researched this guy because he's been doing this for a while.

00:02:09.000 It's just never caught fire so fast as it did this weekend.

00:02:13.000 Yeah.

00:02:13.000 Well, we were talking about you, before I met you, you were kind of like a comedian on the internet.

00:02:21.000 Before the internet was that popular.

00:02:22.000 You'd make funny videos.

00:02:24.000 Right.

00:02:25.000 And that's how we became friends.

00:02:27.000 But people don't think of that as being a comedian.

00:02:31.000 You think of a comedian who has to go on stage.

00:02:33.000 Not really.

00:02:34.000 Because if you're this girl, or this guy right here, Davin...

00:02:37.000 That's actually not the original person I found out. 0.90

00:02:39.000 This has been reported as David Magwood being the one that originally wrote this lion tweet, which is going to start dressing like a lion so the cops know that if they kill me, white people will avenge me.

00:02:51.000 That was actually written by somebody completely different, and that person's rgay on Twitter, Roxane Gay. 0.65

00:03:01.000 So this guy stole it from her?

00:03:03.000 Stole it from her.

00:03:04.000 But he was complaining that he wasn't getting credit.

00:03:07.000 Yeah.

00:03:08.000 No.

00:03:09.000 Really?

00:03:10.000 I mean, this just happened.

00:03:12.000 We don't know, though.

00:03:12.000 We don't know.

00:03:13.000 Is that true?

00:03:15.000 The timestamp on Our Gay is July 29th, 2015, and Davin's is July 29th.

00:03:23.000 Oh, wait.

00:03:25.000 9.05 p.m.

00:03:27.000 is his and 11.44 a.m.

00:03:29.000 is hers.

00:03:31.000 Oh, so he saw it that day and stole it.

00:03:33.000 Yeah.

00:03:34.000 Allegedly.

00:03:35.000 Unless...

00:03:35.000 Unless she reads minds.

00:03:36.000 Well, unless...

00:03:37.000 Maybe she's, like, time traveling.

00:03:38.000 No, or that's what I was going to say.

00:03:39.000 Or she, like, lives in Japan and he lives in Hawaii.

00:03:43.000 Does the time stand work locally, though?

00:03:45.000 Doesn't it work locally?

00:03:46.000 Yeah, it does.

00:03:48.000 Yeah, it doesn't work like that.

00:03:49.000 Yeah, I'm just kidding.

00:03:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:51.000 Well, that's fucked up. 0.99

00:03:53.000 That people are claiming they got stolen from and they... 0.97

00:03:55.000 How do people not know that this is gonna get out?

00:03:58.000 Well, the thing, I've heard of Fat Ju for a bit, and he's been thrown on TMZ a lot.

00:04:03.000 He's been thrown on all these shows.

00:04:04.000 He's one of those guys that I've always got, like, how is this guy here?

00:04:07.000 Like, whose mom and dad is, you know, this guy?

00:04:10.000 But then, he got signed to CAA, which is one of the biggest talent agencies here in Los Angeles, and that immediately...

00:04:19.000 All the comedians came out of the woodwork.

00:04:21.000 Like, wait a second.

00:04:22.000 I can't even pay my rent, and this guy just got signed a Comedy Central deal, a book, a music deal with Apple.

00:04:30.000 He has his own show on Apple Beats 1, which is their new radio station.

00:04:35.000 So they have a DJ who's just a plagiarist on their brand new, fresh station.

00:04:41.000 Yeah.

00:04:42.000 So...

00:04:45.000 There's actually been so many reports from the New York News, Washington Post, all these places have actually reported about him being a plagiarist for a while.

00:04:52.000 But it's been one of those things where everyone kind of knew, but the internet never caught on.

00:04:58.000 And so this is amazing.

00:05:01.000 There's one report, which is, you have to check out this website.

00:05:05.000 I sent it to you.

00:05:06.000 It's on Storify.

00:05:08.000 It's Top 50 Jokes the Fat Jewish Bogarted from the Internet. 1.00

00:05:15.000 I mean, it's just 50 jokes.

00:05:17.000 This is 19 hours ago, so this is new.

00:05:20.000 This is new, too.

00:05:21.000 This is all coming out while this is all going down.

00:05:23.000 Yeah, and now the first one's obviously wrong that they have on there.

00:05:26.000 And this is one thing that I've been doing the last couple days.

00:05:28.000 I've actually been taking these...

00:05:30.000 If you just put this much energy in your own life, you would be so much healthier.

00:05:36.000 Everything would be great.

00:05:37.000 You would be totally off-smoking.

00:05:39.000 You'd be going to the gym on a regular basis.

00:05:41.000 You're right.

00:05:41.000 Drinking water.

00:05:42.000 You're right.

00:05:43.000 But, you know, with the Carlos Mencia video, I did that overnight when that happened.

00:05:46.000 And it's an obsession when it's something that's unique and I feel like people need to know about.

00:05:52.000 And this, to me, is something that I can't believe has been going on for so long.

00:05:55.000 And I went to the comedy store last night, and everyone goes, oh yeah, I know about that guy. 0.99

00:06:00.000 Yeah, he sucks. 0.87

00:06:00.000 And I'm like, wait, you haven't heard what's been going on lately? 0.87

00:06:03.000 Sandy Danto...

00:06:04.000 He, who's a comedian at a Comedy Store comic, a paid regular, he actually had a bit of his, his stand-up bit, that he had taken and made it a meme, and then he called him out on it in the comments, and like a couple hours later, he deleted it.

00:06:18.000 And the same thing happened to Amir Kay, who is another comedian.

00:06:23.000 So it's, a lot of comics know about this.

00:06:26.000 He does have a bunch of interns, alright?

00:06:29.000 Or a bunch of employees.

00:06:30.000 Well, that's what he's been claiming for about the last, I think, five years.

00:06:34.000 He's been claiming that he has employees and all these people working on his website.

00:06:39.000 But, you know, that excuse might happen once or twice.

00:06:42.000 But, you know, look, this list right here is 50 of them.

00:06:46.000 And I've already found that more than that.

00:06:48.000 It could happen.

00:06:49.000 It really could happen more than that.

00:06:51.000 The thing about saying it once or twice is like...

00:06:54.000 I'm not trying to stick up for this guy, but the reality of like sitcom writers like Seinfeld stole not Seinfeld the man But the show stole one of Kevin James bits and did it on their episode and this is when Kevin James was not known Kevin was a friend of mine still is but it was back then and Kevin hadn't made it yet He hadn't it wasn't he hadn't done King of Queens.

00:07:15.000 He'd won Star Search You know and he'd been like on a couple different TV shows And he had a big deal with NBC, like a development deal, do his own sitcom.

00:07:24.000 So I was there.

00:07:25.000 I went with him.

00:07:26.000 He did this showcase for all these NBC writers.

00:07:29.000 So what these showcases are, like they do these sitcom things where they would sit down and they would bring, you know, all the showrunners from various shows that have deals with them.

00:07:40.000 And they'd say, hey, we got this guy.

00:07:42.000 His name's Kevin James.

00:07:43.000 We just signed him.

00:07:43.000 He's really funny.

00:07:44.000 We want you guys to watch him do stand-up and tell us what you think.

00:07:47.000 So they watched him do stand-up, and then they stole his bit and used it as an episode of Seinfeld.

00:07:52.000 The bit about muffin tops.

00:07:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:55.000 Like, Kevin James, it was one of his signature bits.

00:07:58.000 And this was a long-ass time ago, and it was before the show.

00:08:01.000 And it's not the first time that happened.

00:08:03.000 That happened a gang of times.

00:08:04.000 It happened a bunch of times with a bunch of different comics and a bunch of different shows.

00:08:08.000 They would have their signature bits turned into...

00:08:14.000 Like plot lines on sitcoms or gags on In Living Color was a big one.

00:08:20.000 Like a lot of guys claim that some of the writers from In Living Color would come down to the comedy store, watch guys do stand-up.

00:08:25.000 Like Handyman, someone said that Handyman was something that they had stolen from, not that Damon had stolen it, but some writer had stolen it.

00:08:33.000 I don't know if that's true or not, but there's a lot of those things that happen when they think they can get away with it, especially if they can go down to the comedy store on open mic night.

00:08:44.000 Yeah, that's what a lot of people...

00:08:46.000 There's so many random people that come to these open mic places that just sit there with their notepads just writing everything down or writing notes. 0.76

00:08:53.000 They should be smacked. 0.95

00:08:54.000 You should be smacked. 0.95

00:08:55.000 If you want to sit in the back of the comedy store... 0.95

00:08:56.000 I mean, look, they could always record it.

00:08:58.000 People do that on their phones anyway.

00:09:00.000 They're always going to record sets.

00:09:01.000 You just got to, in this day and age...

00:09:03.000 You gotta assume. 0.98

00:09:04.000 I mean, when I was first starting out, you have to have a fucking actual tape recorder. 0.98

00:09:08.000 You couldn't just sit in your pocket. 0.96

00:09:10.000 Like, you could have your phone in your jacket pocket, and no one would know, and it could be recording.

00:09:13.000 As long as the mic is up, it comes out crystal clear.

00:09:15.000 I've done it in my back pocket.

00:09:17.000 Like, I've done sets, and just recorded it and stuffed it in my back pocket to see what it would sound like.

00:09:21.000 I could hear everything.

00:09:22.000 Did anyone ever used to take the old Radio Shack box interview private investigator tape recorder, the huge microphone, and just sit it on the stool?

00:09:30.000 Oh yeah, I definitely saw people do that.

00:09:32.000 I actually used to have one that was a mini disc recorder. 0.99

00:09:38.000 Who the fuck taught me how to do that? 0.97

00:09:40.000 Somebody taught me about it. 1.00

00:09:41.000 He had a clip to his belt.

00:09:43.000 I'll try to remember who the dude is and give him credit, but he had a mini disc reporter clipped to his belt and then he had a line that ran up to like a little lapel mic and he would do all the sets like that and then store them all on mini discs.

00:09:56.000 So I had a mini disc recorder installed in the comedy store so I could just record the sets and listen to them on mini discs and then we switched over to DAT and then we switched over to CD when you could burn CDs and now I don't even know if that's still there.

00:10:09.000 Do they still have that CD set up where you can burn your copy of I don't even know anymore.

00:10:14.000 Is it even necessary at all anymore?

00:10:16.000 Nah, nah.

00:10:17.000 Phones are just as good.

00:10:19.000 I mean, unless you want to get something that's the quality that you could release as an album, because you could definitely have it set up.

00:10:26.000 If you just have the microphone, some parts of the audience mic'd, like a couple spots mic'd.

00:10:32.000 But what was my point? 0.96

00:10:34.000 Point being, how the fuck did we get here? 0.93

00:10:36.000 Oh, about how Kevin James... 0.99

00:10:39.000 So they steal... 0.99

00:10:40.000 So if he had employees, if the fat Jew had... 0.99

00:10:43.000 I feel weird calling him that. 0.98

00:10:44.000 I actually enjoy it in this particular, you know... 0.99

00:10:48.000 It's the only time you're allowed to say the fat Jew, but I feel like, man, someone's going to take this shit out of context. 0.99

00:10:55.000 It's kind of a hack though. 1.00

00:10:57.000 I'm just gonna call him the fat Jewish. 1.00

00:10:59.000 It seems like less overall statement It seems like a superhero the fat Jewish, but he could easily have employees But has it even been proven that he has any employees and where's this guy getting the money to hire employees? 0.78

00:11:12.000 The other thing I was looking at on his page was he would talk about how much money he's making off of his Instagram I saw him on Katie Couric And he was doing this interview, and I was like, that's weird.

00:11:22.000 I go, because I don't see a lot of product placement.

00:11:25.000 So I went to his Instagram to try to find product placement.

00:11:28.000 I can tell you everything. 0.96

00:11:29.000 And it's funny that you didn't say, why is Katie Couric interviewing this guy, the fat Jew? 1.00

00:11:35.000 How'd that even happen? 0.95

00:11:36.000 Well, because he has so many Instagram followers.

00:11:37.000 Yeah.

00:11:38.000 That's why.

00:11:38.000 But I was thinking, he can't be...

00:11:39.000 He has his own wine company.

00:11:42.000 So, like, the famous picture of him pouring two bottles of his own wine on his chest, that's his own wine.

00:11:47.000 But this is independent of his Instagram, right?

00:11:50.000 Yes.

00:11:51.000 So what he does is he mixes all these into it, and then he's also done Burger King chicken fries.

00:11:59.000 And he also reportedly has done ads where he can delete them within a certain amount of time.

00:12:05.000 So he can just post a picture of him enjoying a delicious White Castle burger, and then they delete it in like 20 minutes.

00:12:13.000 That's pretty smart.

00:12:14.000 Yeah, most of them don't leave those ads up.

00:12:16.000 They'll delete them within a week or so.

00:12:17.000 They're not sitting in their feed.

00:12:19.000 That's interesting.

00:12:20.000 And what's really interesting is that his wife slash girlfriend or whatever, she works at Tinder as their head of publicist.

00:12:27.000 She's like a publicist for Tinder. 0.99

00:12:29.000 She is trained to do...

00:12:32.000 When I dated a publicist, all she did was tell me all these secrets. 1.00

00:12:35.000 Like, no, you can do this and do that and do that.

00:12:37.000 Their whole life is how to make money off of social media and get noticed on social media.

00:12:43.000 Mm-hmm.

00:12:44.000 So he has, not only does he have a wine company, somebody said he has a t-shirt company, and he's got a bunch of different little companies that he just intertwines into his Instagram to make it look like he's just doing. 0.98

00:12:59.000 So he's like the Ryan Seacrest of like, just joke thievery and getting shit promoted. 0.88

00:13:07.000 He's constantly got a bunch of toes in the game. 0.70

00:13:10.000 Yeah, he has another famous picture, which is him laying in a pool, drinking out of a pool that has his own wine in it, kind of a copy of that...

00:13:18.000 Don't put up any of these pictures.

00:13:20.000 Yeah, kind of a copy of that show.

00:13:22.000 Anything to get us pulled down here.

00:13:23.000 Right.

00:13:23.000 Last Man on Earth is...

00:13:26.000 That's from that movie.

00:13:27.000 So he's even stealing his ideas for pitchers to sell his wine from TV shows.

00:13:31.000 He's using Reddit.

00:13:32.000 He's going on websites.

00:13:33.000 What his formula is, and there's a couple people that actually do this.

00:13:37.000 He's not the only one.

00:13:38.000 There's another guy. 1.00

00:13:40.000 Fuck Jerry, right? 1.00

00:13:41.000 Fuck Jerry, who's another almost as bad, if not worse, guy. 1.00

00:13:45.000 And what they do is they just go to Reddit, or they just go to any of these websites, find the number one trending thing at that second, try to find the meat in it, take the meat, throw it on a picture of a black cheeseburger, and then you go. 1.00

00:13:58.000 You have it.

00:13:59.000 What?

00:14:00.000 Black cheeseburger? 0.94

00:14:01.000 Well, I mean, that's pretty much what the formula, like if you look for the funniest thing, a thread at different websites, what has the most views, most posts of that day.

00:14:09.000 And then you steal that. 0.92

00:14:10.000 Steal that idea and then mix it with something else is what he does the most, where he'll just take a photo of a fat chick or something like that's butt or whatever and put it. 0.97

00:14:18.000 Put the two together.

00:14:19.000 But what he mostly does is somebody else does that exact same thing, and then he just takes it word from word and the picture, crops the name out, doesn't give any credit, and just throws it up there.

00:14:30.000 Yeah, I've seen that.

00:14:31.000 And that's one of those things where you could say maybe somebody sent it to him and he just didn't know who made it, so he just posted it.

00:14:38.000 But not if you change all the words and put them in your own handwriting or your own font, rather, because he's done that before, too.

00:14:45.000 Yeah.

00:14:46.000 Well, it's interesting because what I was getting at earlier is that I never thought of, like, an internet comedian.

00:14:52.000 Whoops, just popped my thing out of here.

00:14:54.000 I never thought of an internet comedian as being the same as a comedian.

00:14:57.000 But you clearly are, like that young lady that we talked about. 0.99

00:15:01.000 What the fuck's her name again? 0.99

00:15:04.000 I don't remember. 0.99

00:15:05.000 Well, it's the same as there's a bigger audience.

00:15:08.000 I have to go back to it.

00:15:10.000 I'm so deep in now.

00:15:12.000 So we know.

00:15:14.000 What is it?

00:15:17.000 One of the ones that I retweeted from you.

00:15:20.000 Oh, Princess Wi-Fi.

00:15:21.000 Princess of Wi-Fi.

00:15:23.000 That these people are working.

00:15:26.000 They're creating these things.

00:15:28.000 And then they get a lot of...

00:15:29.000 Like our friend Slash Lean from up in Canada.

00:15:33.000 Hilarious. 0.99

00:15:34.000 And got famous just from writing funny shit on Twitter. 0.99

00:15:37.000 And then got a gang of... 0.99

00:15:39.000 Like organically got a gang of Twitter followers.

00:15:42.000 Just because she writes funny stuff.

00:15:45.000 And I'm sure she's been ripped off.

00:15:47.000 I guarantee you.

00:15:49.000 I think she tried doing stand-up at one point in time, but she didn't for a long time. 0.98

00:15:54.000 There's a lot of people that would read her shit and go, this could be a really funny bit. 0.96

00:15:58.000 I could take this and turn it into a bit. 0.99

00:15:59.000 So I guarantee you that's happened.

00:16:02.000 Yeah, and it's happened...

00:16:03.000 A ton of time with just normal people.

00:16:05.000 I think we've probably all done it before.

00:16:07.000 Even my mom's probably posted a photo that she didn't make of some quote that she didn't write of footsteps from Jesus or something.

00:16:14.000 But the big difference between this and us doing it is that he's directly getting paid to do this.

00:16:23.000 Creating a business and an empire based on only plagiarism.

00:16:28.000 Well, what he's doing is he's taking what a lot of us think of as innocent, which is, you know, you send me something, I retweet it.

00:16:34.000 We all do that.

00:16:35.000 But he's doing it, like, in a creepy way, too, because I use a repost app, so it shows I repost things.

00:16:42.000 Like, every time I repost something, it's with a repost app, unless someone sends it to me and I can't figure out where I came from.

00:16:47.000 And then I had one of those and I deleted it.

00:16:49.000 I deleted it recently.

00:16:50.000 What if black people have been gold this whole time? 0.98

00:16:54.000 I was like, that's not mine.

00:16:55.000 It's funny.

00:16:56.000 It's a funny meme, but I'm like, I have to delete it now because we're doing this whole thing.

00:17:00.000 I never was trying to profit off of that, but I thought about it.

00:17:03.000 I was like, that's somebody else's work and I don't want to get it Twisted with me, so I deleted that.

00:17:08.000 Now that all this is going on, I was like, well, I can't be a hypocrite.

00:17:11.000 It's interesting how sensitive every single thing is getting.

00:17:15.000 There's a difference, though.

00:17:16.000 I mean, it's really all about intent.

00:17:18.000 I mean, that's what it is, right?

00:17:20.000 Yeah.

00:17:20.000 It's really interesting.

00:17:22.000 I've been doing so much research on this guy that I didn't...

00:17:25.000 One thing I know, the episode of Workaholics where he's a peyote at Ford, the one that they talk about Joe Roganisms in it a lot.

00:17:34.000 Fat Jew has a cameo in that.

00:17:35.000 For no apparent reason at all, they look over and he's doing push-ups on the ground and that's it.

00:17:41.000 So he's been just working his way into Hollywood.

00:17:44.000 Yeah.

00:17:44.000 He has a video that's on YouTube.

00:17:46.000 It's called Fat Jew Nude on Shrooms in Mexico where he's just shooting guns and running around naked on mushrooms and then driving at the end. 0.96

00:17:55.000 But there's a lot of interesting videos.

00:17:58.000 There's another video.

00:17:59.000 This morning news place had him on the morning news.

00:18:03.000 And this is right before his Instagram was starting to take off a little.

00:18:07.000 And he was with his manager and some other person all being interviewed.

00:18:12.000 I wish I could find it.

00:18:13.000 I've been looking for it.

00:18:14.000 If I find it, I can send it to you.

00:18:16.000 But it's interesting because he kind of put it down like, yes, no, the secret to what I'm doing is just posting a bunch of funny stuff or butts and then getting tons of money from it.

00:18:26.000 And then he just broke it down.

00:18:28.000 So if I ever make a video of this guy, I put that aside at my house because there's so many amazing quotes from that interview.

00:18:34.000 And it's really weird.

00:18:35.000 His manager, whoever was sitting next to him, she's like, yeah!

00:18:38.000 We're going to make all this money, bro.

00:18:40.000 We're going to make all this money.

00:18:41.000 And then there's a guy, this black guy at the end go, I don't think this is what... 0.97

00:18:45.000 I think Instagram's good for health and fitness and a lot of things, not just butts and...

00:18:49.000 It's one of those morning news guys.

00:18:50.000 Those guys are always wrong.

00:18:52.000 That's why they're morning news guys.

00:18:54.000 But it was an interesting interview.

00:18:55.000 So much interesting thing I've been looking through for the last couple of days on this guy.

00:18:59.000 So, his Comedy Central pilot got cancelled today.

00:19:02.000 That was announced, that Comedy Central confirmed that...

00:19:04.000 Yeah.

00:19:05.000 They have to.

00:19:06.000 How could they not?

00:19:07.000 After the Mencia thing?

00:19:08.000 Yeah.

00:19:09.000 Because they kept Mencia on after that show, and his ratings dropped by more than 50% instantly.

00:19:14.000 And they were like, oh, Christ.

00:19:16.000 And then, also, they knew. 0.99

00:19:18.000 They knew what the fuck he did, you know? 0.99

00:19:20.000 And then they have his show on, and they also knew, and this is a big one, that the fucking show was responsible for plagiarism. 0.99

00:19:26.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:19:26.000 A lot of it. 0.98

00:19:28.000 A lot of it. 0.99

00:19:29.000 And Louis Black was fucking furious, because Louis Black was on Comedy Central. 1.00

00:19:34.000 So he was on the Jon Stewart show, and while he's on the Jon Stewart show, he's, Manstelia's doing his shit. 1.00

00:19:40.000 And not only just doing it, but doing it like this. 0.99

00:19:43.000 With the fingers, the way to do the bit is to do it like Lewis! 0.99

00:19:47.000 I mean, he's literally doing Lewis's shit on the same network that Lewis is on, so they took a fuckload of heat for that. 0.98

00:19:56.000 Plus, there's a new regime at Comedy Central now, and they're way smarter. 0.99

00:19:59.000 And they're on the ball as far as their choices.

00:20:02.000 That's why you're seeing shows like Amy Schumer's show, like Hannibal Buress, like Ari.

00:20:07.000 You're seeing good shows.

00:20:08.000 And they're taking chances from real comedians for once.

00:20:11.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:20:13.000 They also have their online platform, which they've been really smart about developing, too.

00:20:17.000 Like, this is not happening.

00:20:18.000 They started out as an online platform, then they brought it to television after they work it out that way.

00:20:23.000 So there's very little pressure on it.

00:20:25.000 It's smart.

00:20:26.000 They're doing everything the right way. 1.00

00:20:27.000 So they're like, fuck this, dude. 1.00

00:20:29.000 You just can't do that. 1.00

00:20:31.000 You can't do it.

00:20:32.000 I don't know if it was him or if it was his employees.

00:20:35.000 We really don't know.

00:20:36.000 But he has to take responsibility for it, especially if it's happened and there's large institutions writing about it.

00:20:43.000 You know what I mean?

00:20:44.000 You know what?

00:20:45.000 Yeah.

00:20:45.000 No, keep going.

00:20:46.000 But he has to take responsibility for that because he is the one getting the paychecks for all this, even if his interns, which are probably unpaid interns is what I'm guessing...

00:20:57.000 You have to do it.

00:20:58.000 What I thought was interesting is Brian Hennigan wrote something interesting because he has a book coming out.

00:21:06.000 And he goes, did Fat Juice sign an affidavit for Grand Central Pub Hatchet US that his new book is all his own work?

00:21:14.000 Wonder why they're helping a plagiarist.

00:21:16.000 I mean, that comes different to when it comes to authors and books and stuff like that because you're selling words.

00:21:23.000 Powerful Hennigan on the ball.

00:21:25.000 That guy's your manager.

00:21:26.000 I know.

00:21:26.000 He won't do it.

00:21:27.000 You can't only have one client, especially it's Doug Stano.

00:21:30.000 He's got holes in his stomach where his intestines poke through.

00:21:33.000 He can lay on his back and force his intestines through holes in his abdominal wall.

00:21:38.000 I love him, but he's not going to make it.

00:21:40.000 I mean, alive.

00:21:42.000 He's obviously made it as a comedian.

00:21:44.000 Brian, I call shotgun.

00:21:47.000 Here's the thing. 0.99

00:21:48.000 This fat Jewish guy has not posted anything in many hours, which is very rare. 0.99

00:21:53.000 Like his last one is 18 hours ago. 0.97

00:21:55.000 So while this is all going down, he's sworn off of the Instagram.

00:22:01.000 The other thing is, you look at the recent posts, like one of them that he stole from that Princess of Wi-Fi, or no, that's the other one.

00:22:09.000 This is another girl who's hilarious.

00:22:11.000 This is one I was actually thinking of.

00:22:13.000 Pistol Sherman is her name. 0.99

00:22:16.000 S-C-H-U-R-M-A-M. She's fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:22:20.000 All her Instagram feed is shit that she's made, I assume. 1.00

00:22:24.000 I mean, I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure it's all her work. 1.00

00:22:28.000 And it's really fucking funny.

00:22:31.000 Like, she's just a funny comic. 0.99

00:22:33.000 Like, or, you know, funny at writing this stuff, whatever it is, you know, whatever you want to call her.

00:22:39.000 So he's got a bit that he took from her, the international hand symbol for, what the hell is this guy doing?

00:22:45.000 She's got this, like, thing, like, what?

00:22:47.000 Which is true.

00:22:48.000 So he takes that, he puts it up, and then he just writes her name on the bottom.

00:22:53.000 That's it.

00:22:54.000 See how he's got it here?

00:22:55.000 That's her. 0.88

00:22:56.000 That's her. 1.00

00:22:56.000 But if you go to his, all he does Is he took it and he puts his own bullshit in it. 1.00

00:23:08.000 And when he puts his own bullshit in it, he puts her name at the bottom. 1.00

00:23:12.000 He doesn't even say created by. 1.00

00:23:14.000 He just tags her.

00:23:16.000 And he supposedly has been adding tags to all his Instagrams last week. 0.99

00:23:22.000 It's the fat Jewish. 1.00

00:23:26.000 I know. 0.99

00:23:26.000 There's so much going on. 0.99

00:23:28.000 It's not the fat Jew. 1.00

00:23:29.000 It's the fat Jewish. 1.00

00:23:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:32.000 Yeah.

00:23:34.000 See that one down there?

00:23:35.000 The middle one.

00:23:36.000 Yeah.

00:23:36.000 Okay.

00:23:36.000 So you click on that.

00:23:37.000 It's got 209,000 likes, by the way.

00:23:39.000 The most I've ever gotten, I think maybe I got like 25,000 likes ever.

00:23:44.000 He's got over five million on Instagram.

00:23:46.000 I know.

00:23:46.000 It's incredible.

00:23:47.000 But look what he did there.

00:23:48.000 So he takes this and look what he wrote.

00:23:50.000 You guys, this is funny because it's relatable and we all share these types of human experiences.

00:23:55.000 In parentheses, sorry, I'm on Molly.

00:23:57.000 No, you're not.

00:23:59.000 Yeah.

00:23:59.000 And then at Pistol Sherman.

00:24:01.000 So he stole her thing.

00:24:04.000 And then he sort of just sort of tags her, but he doesn't say created by.

00:24:09.000 And then underneath there you say, posting a stolen joke from the person you credit also clearly stole it.

00:24:15.000 What?

00:24:16.000 The person you credit also clearly stole it?

00:24:19.000 Really?

00:24:21.000 See, that's the problem.

00:24:23.000 What I've been doing is I've taken the photo and cropped it out and then re-uploaded it to Google Images and tried to find the first time stamped that you...

00:24:34.000 Because it can search by photo. 0.99

00:24:35.000 Dude, you're going straight FBI on this shit. 0.99

00:24:38.000 I mean, one of these took me over an hour just to find out who really made it. 1.00

00:24:42.000 You could have been at the gym. 0.99

00:24:44.000 You could have been on a fucking stair machine. 1.00

00:24:47.000 It's true. 1.00

00:24:48.000 I don't know what's wrong with me.

00:24:49.000 I need to stop.

00:24:52.000 It's funny, though.

00:24:52.000 I had a big smile on my face when I started getting a text from you.

00:24:56.000 And then when I saw that Patton was retweeting your stuff, I said, alright, I'm in now.

00:25:00.000 And I started retweeting it, too. 0.99

00:25:01.000 I'm like, fuck it. 1.00

00:25:02.000 Let's pile on. 1.00

00:25:04.000 So, he doesn't even say.

00:25:06.000 This is what bugs me.

00:25:07.000 Sorry I'm on Molly.

00:25:09.000 Whatever.

00:25:09.000 And then, at Pistol Sherman.

00:25:11.000 So, I don't know whether or not this girl didn't write it or did write it, but the point is, he thinks she wrote it, and instead of crediting her, he just writes her name.

00:25:20.000 He doesn't even, like, write original by, got this from, you know, this is hilarious, I found it on her page.

00:25:28.000 He just has her name there.

00:25:29.000 That doesn't mean anything.

00:25:30.000 Like, I put people's names at the bottom of the tab, just so they'll see it or something.

00:25:35.000 I mean, I don't...

00:25:36.000 That's not enough.

00:25:37.000 It gets deeper than that, Joe.

00:25:38.000 I got deep into this one thread. 1.00

00:25:41.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 0.99

00:25:43.000 I got deep into this one thread that even had proof of him making fake Twitter accounts and just taking jokes and having that fake person tweet them and then him crediting the fake Twitter account that he owns. 1.00

00:25:57.000 Oh! 0.60

00:25:58.000 Oh, God.

00:26:00.000 Oh, no.

00:26:01.000 You sure?

00:26:01.000 How do you know that?

00:26:02.000 Man, it's a whole message board page or Reddit page or something like that.

00:26:07.000 Reddit's been on this for a while, though, so that's what's great about that it's now finally...

00:26:12.000 I think the Internet's now catching on to this whole thing.

00:26:15.000 Well, they definitely are today.

00:26:17.000 The fact that he hasn't made a post in 18 hours, and if you look before that, he was making like five, six of them a day.

00:26:23.000 They were like rapid fire.

00:26:24.000 That was the thing that was funny about his page. 1.00

00:26:26.000 You would constantly see some pretty silly shit. 1.00

00:26:30.000 I gotta stop following him on Instagram. 1.00

00:26:31.000 I think I'm still following him right now.

00:26:33.000 Yeah, somebody told me that already.

00:26:35.000 That I'm still following him?

00:26:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:26:38.000 Fucking tattletales. 1.00

00:26:39.000 And what's really weird is he steals from people that if he had any common sense that you would not steal from. 1.00

00:26:45.000 Like Matt Besser.

00:26:46.000 I don't know if you know Matt Besser from back in the days.

00:26:48.000 He's old school.

00:26:49.000 I think he's one of the founders of UCB. Or if not the founder of UCB. He stole from him.

00:26:55.000 He put, how many potheads does it take in a screw and a light bulb?

00:26:58.000 None.

00:26:58.000 We're trying to keep it mellow here.

00:27:00.000 Funny little joke, Fat Juice stole it. 0.79

00:27:03.000 In the comedy world, that's insane if you steal from Matt.

00:27:08.000 Yeah, well, there's a lot of people out there that don't know who he is, and they think that they can get away with it.

00:27:14.000 That's what he's doing.

00:27:15.000 I mean, what he's doing, he got away with up until now.

00:27:17.000 When you get away with something for that long, and it's that profitable...

00:27:21.000 You know, how many people have been mad at them for that?

00:27:24.000 You're stealing money from people, really.

00:27:26.000 It's what you're doing.

00:27:27.000 I mean, are they making money?

00:27:30.000 It's a weird situation because it's like some people are just doing it for fun.

00:27:34.000 And then you're profiting off of their fun.

00:27:36.000 But that's kind of like...

00:27:39.000 There was an artist once that was taking photos of other people's art and then drawing pretty much exact duplicates of it.

00:27:48.000 It was like a cartoon.

00:27:50.000 It's happened many times, but there was one story that was on this one cartoon that this guy was doing where he had stolen so many of this guy's images and just put his own version of it, but so similar.

00:28:06.000 And some people were trying to figure out how this guy can get away with this for so long.

00:28:11.000 But I think there's just too much to pay attention to for you to connect the dots on two different images like that. 0.98

00:28:18.000 And he probably was dumb or ridiculous or thought he can get away with it. 0.98

00:28:21.000 This is his last post right here? 1.00

00:28:23.000 Yes.

00:28:24.000 It's actually watermarked.

00:28:27.000 It's funny you say that, Jamie, because this is one of the ones that took me over a half hour to research.

00:28:34.000 That, you think, is the original one?

00:28:36.000 I was looking at his page, too.

00:28:38.000 It seems like the guy, his Twitter name's actually in the picture, Joe.

00:28:43.000 But he didn't credit the guy, even though his name's actually in there.

00:28:47.000 So that's one of the fake ones?

00:28:48.000 Well, that's one that I researched and found out that there was actually somebody before that person.

00:28:52.000 So that person tagged his name in it, saying it was his, when it wasn't even his.

00:28:57.000 And that could be one of the ones where he ganked it.

00:29:01.000 What is this right now?

00:29:01.000 What are you looking at?

00:29:03.000 Oh, Burt Bondi.

00:29:06.000 Supposedly.

00:29:07.000 But this guy, somebody else had it before him.

00:29:10.000 That's what it looks like.

00:29:12.000 My point I was going to bring up on this is kind of weird because this is where you get into like parody, law, and copyright.

00:29:19.000 They're taking photographers' photos and making money off of them without paying the photographer.

00:29:23.000 But because it's parody, you're actually allowed to do that to a certain extent.

00:29:26.000 So at what point are you allowed to parody a joke and that's okay?

00:29:31.000 Yeah.

00:29:32.000 But you can't word for word it, but you know what I mean?

00:29:34.000 See, I'm torn here.

00:29:36.000 Here's why I'm torn.

00:29:37.000 I love memes. 0.95

00:29:38.000 I think these are fucking hilarious. 0.95

00:29:40.000 Like, I enjoy them when someone sends me a funny one or when I get a funny one on Instagram and I scroll through it and I laugh at them. 0.97

00:29:47.000 I like them.

00:29:49.000 That's how I laugh too. 0.96

00:29:51.000 But I want people to keep, but I don't, you know, I don't want to necessarily like, I don't want to discredit the fact that someone made it, but I don't really give a fuck that someone made it. 0.94

00:30:02.000 But I do now. 0.97

00:30:04.000 Even his book cover, Fat Jew has a stupid book, even his book cover is a copy of the Steve Jobs book. 0.99

00:30:11.000 Well, I think that's on purpose. 0.99

00:30:13.000 I know, but it's just funny that everything he does is completely unoriginal and fake.

00:30:17.000 Well, the hairstyle.

00:30:18.000 What about his hairstyle?

00:30:19.000 That's like Kong Po from the Kickboxer movie.

00:30:22.000 Tong Po? 0.88

00:30:23.000 Remember that guy?

00:30:24.000 Jean-Claude Van Damme.

00:30:25.000 He fights him in the end.

00:30:26.000 He's got the crazy haircut.

00:30:28.000 Oh yeah.

00:30:28.000 He's got kind of a Tong Po thing going on with his hair.

00:30:32.000 Yeah.

00:30:33.000 So, um, you're not his friend?

00:30:36.000 Is that what you're trying to say?

00:30:37.000 You know what?

00:30:38.000 I'm just amazed by it.

00:30:40.000 I'm just shocked by it.

00:30:41.000 I don't like it when I see friends of mine that he's stolen from.

00:30:46.000 And I'm just like, why am I just finding out about this guy now? 0.95

00:30:49.000 And then I remember when I heard his name around on TMZ and Twitter and all that, I just didn't want to ever click on the link because I was like, I don't care about this fat Jew guy. 1.00

00:30:57.000 I don't give a shit. 0.97

00:30:58.000 But then now I kind of want to stop it so I don't have to see more of him in the future. 0.98

00:31:03.000 Well, it didn't bother me when I saw him before.

00:31:05.000 I thought, well, this is interesting.

00:31:06.000 This guy's figuring out how to profit off of these memes.

00:31:09.000 And I was saying, I wonder if this is going to be something that happens in the future. 0.94

00:31:12.000 And then I thought, well, what he's doing is he's just going, finding pictures, and then they say funny shit and put it on the picture. 0.96

00:31:18.000 That's how he was describing it. 0.92

00:31:19.000 And he was saying it to Kenny Couric that he has a staff, and they comb the internet for funny things.

00:31:24.000 But really, they're just ganking memes, and he's doing it as a corporation.

00:31:29.000 He's doing it like as a business.

00:31:30.000 One of the ones that he did, it went farthest back as being the oldest joke I could find.

00:31:36.000 He found off of a 2001 website that still existed.

00:31:42.000 And this might not even be the first one, but it was one of those email newsletters that you would send.

00:31:48.000 Like, here's a list of funny jokes, ha ha ha.

00:31:50.000 And it's just a list of like 50 jokes.

00:31:52.000 And he just started taking from that list as one of them.

00:31:56.000 I can't say I'm shocked.

00:31:58.000 Right.

00:31:58.000 I mean, now that you know his modus operandi, the other thing is I've heard him talk and he never seems funny.

00:32:06.000 You know, like when I'm hearing him talk, I'm like, this guy doesn't seem like a funny guy.

00:32:11.000 You know, like if you, you know, Kevin Pereira, let's use him as an example.

00:32:15.000 You know, if Kevin was on some show there, you would listen to him talk and you'd go, even if he wasn't trying to be funny, you would say, well, here's a guy that I could see that guy be funny.

00:32:25.000 I could see him have a clever point on something.

00:32:28.000 Like if someone presented him with an illogical point of view, he would be like, uh, that doesn't make any sense.

00:32:34.000 He would start making fun of it.

00:32:35.000 That's his instinct.

00:32:36.000 That is, you know, your instinct, comics instincts. 0.99

00:32:40.000 Anybody that you have on that's a funny person would say funny shit. 0.96

00:32:43.000 He never seemed funny. 0.99

00:32:44.000 He seemed like this, like, corporate guy or something.

00:32:48.000 You know, with this wacky haircut.

00:32:49.000 It's like it's all package.

00:32:51.000 Well, I mean, what people are telling me is that he was one of those, he grew up in a super rich family, and he's been kind of just thrown and given favors, and that's one of those guys. 1.00

00:33:02.000 One of those motherfuckers. 1.00

00:33:04.000 I guess, you know, the problem is I can make that argument about myself not being funny sometimes, too, if I'm doing something serious. 1.00

00:33:09.000 Like, if I do a conversation, especially if it's about MMA, but then I'm doing it about that, I guess.

00:33:16.000 Yeah, but if you listen to a lot of his interviews, because I've watched a lot, he pretty much repeats the same stuff, like, I just need to get a guacamole and a bathtub and wine.

00:33:26.000 Well, we'll see what happens, CAA. Right.

00:33:28.000 You're the fucks who signed Minstelia after all that shit went down. 1.00

00:33:32.000 They are? 1.00

00:33:32.000 Yeah, they took him from Gersh. 1.00

00:33:34.000 They ganked him from Gersh at the worst moment ever.

00:33:36.000 Wow.

00:33:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:33:38.000 Right when the shit was hitting the fan, they jumped in with their dick in their hand. 1.00

00:33:43.000 That's insane. 1.00

00:33:44.000 But who knows?

00:33:45.000 I mean, they probably, I don't think they were aware in the entirety of the situation that you're dealing with that.

00:33:52.000 And I think they probably weren't aware about this guy either.

00:33:55.000 Because look, I wasn't aware.

00:33:56.000 I didn't even think of it.

00:33:57.000 I ignorantly was like, ah, he just takes memes, puts them up there.

00:34:00.000 I didn't even think about it as plagiarism.

00:34:03.000 But when Patton wrote it, and then I saw the actual instances, I was like, oh, okay, I see what's going on here.

00:34:09.000 Yeah, he is.

00:34:10.000 He's definitely...

00:34:10.000 And it wasn't just reposting.

00:34:12.000 See, he could have got the same success by reposting.

00:34:16.000 You know, I repost stuff.

00:34:18.000 If you post something funny and I want to repost it, I go to the Repost app, I repost it, and I do it specifically so that people will know that it came from you, and hopefully they'll click on your link and sign up and be one of your followers or whatever.

00:34:33.000 That's what you're supposed to do.

00:34:34.000 That's kind of the spirit of the internet.

00:34:36.000 You know, when someone says something funny, I always retweet stuff.

00:34:40.000 I never copy and paste someone's tweet.

00:34:43.000 You know, I just don't.

00:34:44.000 Unless you have their name in the tweet as well, you know, and then you put in the quote marks.

00:34:50.000 But other than that, but then, you know, everybody knows it comes from them.

00:34:53.000 But other than that, I use a retweet or a repost app or quote tweet.

00:34:57.000 You know, you quote it if you're using the app on the phone.

00:35:00.000 This is, you know, it's just unethical.

00:35:03.000 It's unethical and it's against the spirit of what the internet is supposed to be all about.

00:35:07.000 This free exchange of information, somebody comes in and just fucking sticks a syringe in this pipeline of information, just starts pulling it out, and then profiting.

00:35:17.000 You know, that's what they're doing. 0.78

00:35:18.000 Instead of contributing, instead of like jumping into this free exchange and then offering up a successful pipeline.

00:35:25.000 See, because this guy could have been a successful pipeline for all these people.

00:35:28.000 And I bet he would have still got nearly the same amount of tweets or nearly the same amount of likes and followers and all that jazz.

00:35:35.000 If he was just a, you know, if you just gave everybody credit and then people would like you.

00:35:39.000 They wouldn't be mad.

00:35:40.000 What's interesting is both Twitter and Instagram, I've heard, have banned him in the past.

00:35:46.000 With Instagram, he tied himself up to their headquarters until they let him back in.

00:35:54.000 What?

00:35:55.000 Yeah, supposedly.

00:35:56.000 Was it a gag?

00:35:57.000 Yeah, probably, but it worked.

00:35:59.000 And a lot of people have been trying to tell people to...

00:36:03.000 Twitter has that new copyright thing where you can copyright tweets or whatever, but you have to be the originator of that joke in order to do it.

00:36:11.000 So there's only people...

00:36:13.000 If these people stood up and go, no, I thought that and made that and wrote that, would they have any...

00:36:21.000 You know justice to do that or whatever.

00:36:23.000 Do you remember when that guy was stealing Patrice O'Neil's material and do it as YouTube rants?

00:36:27.000 And then he was trying to say that he did it because it was an homage to Patrice.

00:36:32.000 He was trying to pretend.

00:36:33.000 He did it like all angry too. 0.55

00:36:34.000 It was like so gross and fake the way he did it.

00:36:37.000 You know, he's like channeling Patrice or something while he did it and trying to be smart. 1.00

00:36:41.000 And everybody's like, oh you fuck. 1.00

00:36:44.000 You're a thief. 1.00

00:36:45.000 You know, you're a liar to, like, the way you're doing it. 1.00

00:36:48.000 You're lying to all these people that thought you came up with these ideas. 0.95

00:36:52.000 These are not your ideas at all.

00:36:53.000 It's hard to come back from that.

00:36:55.000 You can't come back from that.

00:36:57.000 You can't.

00:36:57.000 The only way you can come back from that is to admit that you did that, talk about how you did it, and then you've got to reestablish yourself as being completely original.

00:37:05.000 Good fucking luck. 0.98

00:37:06.000 We've talked about this before with joke thieves. 1.00

00:37:08.000 It's like...

00:37:09.000 There's a bunch of guys that were joke thieves, and one of the things you could clearly see, you could see the difference between their material and other people's material. 0.99

00:37:18.000 The other people's material was funny, and then in between this funny shit, they would have their shit. 0.99

00:37:25.000 And, like, stand out like a sore thumb. 0.99

00:37:28.000 Like, there's a guy, I don't need to mention his name, everybody knows who the fuck I'm talking about, who stole a lot of shit from Bill Hicks. 0.99

00:37:33.000 And he had one good special. 1.00

00:37:35.000 And then his second special was hot dog shit. 1.00

00:37:39.000 I mean, it was terrible. 0.99

00:37:40.000 It was like a parody of his first special.

00:37:44.000 It's because there was no content in it.

00:37:46.000 Because he had burned all these bridges, stole all this content, was scared, and said, you know, I'll do it myself. 0.99

00:37:51.000 I'll make my own shit. 1.00

00:37:52.000 But he couldn't make his own shit. 1.00

00:37:54.000 His new shit was terrible. 1.00

00:37:55.000 And there's this really clear difference between the two of them. 0.99

00:37:59.000 And I maintain it's because the mindset of creativity is the exact opposite of the mindset of plagiarism.

00:38:06.000 Because plagiarism is like, I want to pretend that this is all my idea.

00:38:10.000 I want to pretend I want to take this, and I'm Get all the love for it.

00:38:13.000 I'm gonna get whereas like a comic like a Hilarious person is like what what's funny?

00:38:18.000 Where's the funny?

00:38:19.000 What is it?

00:38:20.000 Is it this? 0.99

00:38:21.000 Is it that like you've got you're not thinking about you like what all you are It's like you're this vessel for getting the idea in its best form You're like a boat that carries the joke to the people you got to figure out how fuck do I do this?

00:38:34.000 Like how many times have any of us been sitting around going I gotta I gotta figure out a better way to set this up, or there's a better way to do this, or you gotta figure out this, or...

00:38:42.000 If someone comes along and just yanks that and just doesn't have any of the process, they don't know how to do that.

00:38:49.000 They don't know how to do it.

00:38:51.000 Like, that process of creating is like learning a language. 0.99

00:38:54.000 And when those fucking jokhtees have to go out and re-learn the language, they're essentially like open micers. 0.98

00:39:01.000 And we've seen a couple guys that we know of that are like that, that got hot from stealing stuff. 0.99

00:39:07.000 But then if you see them now, you're like, where did the fucking creativity go? 0.99

00:39:12.000 Or they don't stop. 0.99

00:39:13.000 Like our old friend, who I found out the other day, that still steals.

00:39:19.000 I can't say I'm shocked.

00:39:20.000 I can't say I'm shocked.

00:39:21.000 From Tosh.

00:39:22.000 Yeah, I don't think he knows how to write.

00:39:24.000 I don't think he does it.

00:39:25.000 And I think he's scared to bomb.

00:39:27.000 That's one of the things that he had always said.

00:39:28.000 He's like, you know, a lot of comics talk about how they bombed.

00:39:31.000 I never bombed.

00:39:32.000 I bomb all the time.

00:39:33.000 You know why?

00:39:34.000 Because I write stuff. 0.99

00:39:36.000 I try shit out. 0.99

00:39:37.000 Like, when you're writing all the time, man, you're gonna fucking have some duds. 1.00

00:39:43.000 You're going to throw them out there and you've got to go, fuck! 0.99

00:39:47.000 It's not going to be all of them, but it might be one out of ten you've just got to cut off and throw into the ocean. 1.00

00:39:53.000 It's just no good.

00:39:54.000 It's never working. 0.97

00:39:55.000 But there's a lot of people that are going to see you do that bit until you decide that it sucks. 1.00

00:39:59.000 You're going to fuck around with it. 1.00

00:40:00.000 Because sometimes... 0.99

00:40:02.000 I don't know if you do this, but I know Diaz does it, a lot of guys do this, where you kind of set yourself up in a position where you really don't know where this bit's gonna go.

00:40:10.000 You know there's something funny in it, so you hope that it comes out on stage.

00:40:13.000 And so, there's ways of writing where you sit down, smoke a joint, sit in front of your computer or your notebook, I'm just fucking trying to figure out how to do it. 0.78

00:40:23.000 Like, I'll play little games with myself. 0.91

00:40:26.000 I'll say, like, Brian Redband is to Jamie like a walrus is to, you know, a peacock.

00:40:35.000 I'll try to find ways that the subject interacts with it.

00:40:39.000 Trying to find... 0.96

00:40:40.000 You're a peacock! 1.00

00:40:42.000 Pretty cock. 0.99

00:40:43.000 He's beautiful. 1.00

00:40:43.000 You got a pretty cock. 1.00

00:40:44.000 But you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:40:45.000 I'll do little tricks.

00:40:48.000 I'll set up lists.

00:40:49.000 This is like that.

00:40:51.000 And I'll do a list of different things.

00:40:53.000 Because I want to try to find out what the best bit is.

00:40:55.000 But sometimes you just got to go on stage.

00:40:57.000 And sometimes you go on stage with this premise, and you're pretty sure there's something funny about this premise, but you don't know where it's going to lead.

00:41:04.000 And then, boom, when you're on stage...

00:41:06.000 The jokes, like the punchline will reveal itself to you.

00:41:09.000 Or the angle will reveal itself to you.

00:41:11.000 And then you record it.

00:41:12.000 It's like you take this little ember.

00:41:14.000 You take it back to the lab. 0.99

00:41:15.000 And you fucking put some tindling on it. 0.99

00:41:19.000 Kindling? 0.99

00:41:19.000 What is it? 0.99

00:41:20.000 What's Tinder?

00:41:21.000 Tinder is that app.

00:41:22.000 But it's a thing too, right?

00:41:23.000 Publicist chick.

00:41:24.000 Doesn't it have something to do with fire?

00:41:25.000 Tinder?

00:41:26.000 Yeah.

00:41:26.000 That's what it is.

00:41:27.000 Tinder.

00:41:27.000 A Tinder box.

00:41:28.000 Yeah, it is.

00:41:29.000 I was right.

00:41:30.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:41:31.000 You don't know shit. 1.00

00:41:31.000 I didn't say anything. 1.00

00:41:34.000 Are you talking to yourself?

00:41:35.000 It's an app.

00:41:36.000 No, it's for fires. 1.00

00:41:37.000 We're talking about fires, you fuck. 1.00

00:41:40.000 The point being that that's a whole process you have to learn how to do. 1.00

00:41:44.000 And if you don't learn how to create, like you with your video editing, you have to learn how to do that.

00:41:50.000 You had to do some that you didn't like.

00:41:51.000 You had to do some, like, if you go back and look at your earlier videos, like, they weren't as good as your later videos.

00:41:57.000 You got better at it as time went on, especially when you started doing it You know, all the time.

00:42:02.000 You just get smoother.

00:42:04.000 It's the same with everything. 1.00

00:42:05.000 Those guys are fucked. 1.00

00:42:07.000 Because it's a wrong mindset. 1.00

00:42:10.000 So they become superstars.

00:42:12.000 But they're not good.

00:42:13.000 They're not real.

00:42:15.000 It's like being a superstar track and field athlete, but you really don't run fast at all.

00:42:20.000 Everybody thinks like god damn this guy's like the fastest guy ever, but you know you've been just You've been like teleporting down the fucking down the path and stealing people's spots and pretending that you're in first place You know and just running through the ribbon.

00:42:35.000 I won and there was like damn that dude's fast He won again, but you didn't really want you can't really run fast It's almost the exact same thing with people who are plagiarists. 0.99

00:42:44.000 They literally don't have the creativity They've never developed it It's kind of fucked. 0.99

00:42:49.000 It's got to be terrifying. 0.98

00:42:50.000 It's got to be fucking really terrifying because like Charlie Murphy one of the ballsiest things that Charlie Murphy did Was Charlie Murphy was famous first of all for being the brother of a really fucking famous comedian and Second of all for being on the greatest sketch comedy show the world has ever known and being a big part of it He was huge on the Chappelle show Charlie Murphy stories or stories that he would tell like the Prince story Dude, 0.93

00:43:18.000 he was famous for telling hilarious stories and people would look forward to it. 0.97

00:43:23.000 He would be on the stage or on the screen and just waist up telling a story and then you'd see it playing out with Dave Chappelle being Prince and all the crazy shit that would be a part of those stories.

00:43:36.000 And then Charlie started doing stand-up after that.

00:43:39.000 So after that!

00:43:40.000 And, you know, there's some legendary bad sets that he's had.

00:43:43.000 He had some bad sets, like, that were captured on video.

00:43:46.000 Where one of them, he did a college, they're booing him and heckling him.

00:43:49.000 He went back and got the check and tore it up in front of them and threw it out to him and left. 0.95

00:43:54.000 He took fucking crazy chances because he's a famous open-miker. 0.95

00:43:59.000 And you know as well as I know, that process cannot be duplicated. 0.99

00:44:03.000 The process of becoming good at doing stand-up, going from an open-miker to being an established professional, is a fucking bloody grind. 0.99

00:44:12.000 And it's filled with dead bodies. 0.99

00:44:15.000 Some people just don't make it.

00:44:17.000 They don't make it.

00:44:17.000 It's rough.

00:44:18.000 It's like any kind of boot camp, but it lasts even longer than...

00:44:22.000 It's like going to high school.

00:44:23.000 You have like four years, and then you graduate.

00:44:26.000 But some people don't graduate.

00:44:27.000 They get held back.

00:44:27.000 They get killed.

00:44:28.000 They get killed by terrorists.

00:44:30.000 And along the way, Charlie is famous. 0.99

00:44:34.000 So along this way, he's fucking famous for being hilarious. 0.93

00:44:38.000 And he's just starting out. 0.97

00:44:40.000 Just starting out.

00:44:41.000 And he's headlining.

00:44:42.000 Remember when we did that Maxim Real Men of Comedy tour?

00:44:45.000 Dude, he had only been doing comedy like two or three years.

00:44:49.000 And he's doing 45 minutes in front of theaters.

00:44:53.000 Thousands of people. 0.98

00:44:55.000 It's balls, man. 0.99

00:44:57.000 He's got balls. 0.99

00:44:58.000 But that's what it's like. 0.99

00:45:00.000 It's like being a famous open-miker.

00:45:02.000 That's what it's like for these guys that are plagiarists, and then all of a sudden they start trying to write their own material.

00:45:07.000 It's like, it's dark, man.

00:45:09.000 It's a dark place to be.

00:45:12.000 There's a guy named Freddy Carrera.

00:45:17.000 He's going to be opening up for Joey Diaz later this month in Reno, 725 and 726. He posted a video.

00:45:25.000 He sent me a video the other day.

00:45:27.000 Have you seen the heckler Spartacus kick?

00:45:31.000 What do you feel about this?

00:45:33.000 Because a lot of people actually got mad at this video, but I think it makes complete sense Did they kick that guy?

00:45:41.000 Yeah.

00:45:42.000 Well, if you haven't seen the video, this dude is on stage.

00:45:44.000 This guy comes over to him and touches him.

00:45:46.000 He says something to him or pushes him or touches him physically. 0.99

00:45:49.000 And he says, don't fucking touch me. 1.00

00:45:50.000 Get your fucking hands off me. 1.00

00:45:51.000 The guy leaves. 1.00

00:45:53.000 And it's a tiny ass little crowd. 0.92

00:45:55.000 There's a very small amount of people. 0.98

00:45:56.000 And some people apparently like this heckler guy.

00:45:59.000 So the heckler guy and this comic get into it again. 0.98

00:46:03.000 And the comic says, don't fucking come anywhere near. 0.96

00:46:06.000 He says, like, raid zone. 0.99

00:46:08.000 Was given a warning several times to not put his hand.

00:46:11.000 So he goes running up to the stage in full stride.

00:46:15.000 And this dude just front kicks him right in the chest.

00:46:19.000 Yeah, like 300 style.

00:46:20.000 Yeah.

00:46:20.000 I guess the guy is...

00:46:21.000 It's a good front kick.

00:46:22.000 Good technique, by the way.

00:46:23.000 This guy's named Raid Zone.

00:46:24.000 I guess he's a local comic.

00:46:25.000 This guy that has the aluminum foil on his head.

00:46:29.000 He's a local comic that's just one of those guys that's not working out really for him.

00:46:34.000 And he never gets off stage.

00:46:36.000 He won't get off stage.

00:46:39.000 And he heckles the whole time.

00:46:40.000 He heckles people in the audience. 0.98

00:46:42.000 So he's one of those guys that is like a social retard that wants attention. 1.00

00:46:46.000 So he goes to these comedy clubs and becomes a part of the show.

00:46:50.000 So as this guy's backing away, by the way, I'm torn because I love the fact that Vegas has a comedy scene in open mics, even though there's no one in it.

00:46:58.000 I'm like, ah, that's cool.

00:47:00.000 Vegas has got little funky little open mics because Vegas is a weird place.

00:47:04.000 Can you turn this up because its audio is great.

00:47:07.000 Stop making fun of me, he says.

00:47:08.000 You do that all by yourself, Craig.

00:47:10.000 You do that all by yourself.

00:47:12.000 You lied to me.

00:47:13.000 I have the mic.

00:47:14.000 I have the mic.

00:47:15.000 I have the mic.

00:47:17.000 So, which hands room?

00:47:19.000 So, he sits down and some woman is like, I love you, Wade. 1.00

00:47:22.000 She's trying to get some dick. 1.00

00:47:23.000 Right. 1.00

00:47:24.000 Here it comes.

00:47:27.000 What did I tell you?

00:47:28.000 What did I tell you?

00:47:30.000 Come on! 0.61

00:47:31.000 What did I tell you?

00:47:34.000 Call an ambulance.

00:47:35.000 Well, he should call an ambulance when a guy goes down like that.

00:47:38.000 You never know, because he could have hit his head and he could die.

00:47:41.000 I mean, I'm not exaggerating.

00:47:43.000 You know, someone would say, oh, you're being melodramatic.

00:47:46.000 No, when someone front kicks you in the chest like that, you fall back.

00:47:48.000 You easily can hit your head.

00:47:50.000 And I didn't see if he hit his head or not.

00:47:51.000 We could watch it again.

00:47:52.000 Play it back again.

00:47:53.000 His helmet fell off, so it didn't protect him.

00:47:56.000 Well, it's not real.

00:47:58.000 What's that, Jamie?

00:47:59.000 He said he hit his head.

00:48:00.000 Let me see it.

00:48:00.000 Back it up.

00:48:01.000 Back it up.

00:48:02.000 So I can see it.

00:48:06.000 Yeah, he could easily have hit his head.

00:48:15.000 Well, you know what?

00:48:16.000 Play it one more time.

00:48:17.000 Look at his legs, though.

00:48:18.000 He's balanced as if...

00:48:19.000 That doesn't mean anything.

00:48:20.000 Guys go unconscious, their legs are like that.

00:48:23.000 I'm a 60-year-old baby.

00:48:24.000 I don't get my way.

00:48:26.000 I don't get my way.

00:48:28.000 Here you come.

00:48:32.000 See how he fell back like that?

00:48:33.000 It's kind of like he was doing a push-up.

00:48:36.000 No, Brian, you don't know what you're talking about.

00:48:38.000 That guy got kicked really hard in the chest.

00:48:39.000 He fell back.

00:48:40.000 He's lucky that his feet are planted there.

00:48:42.000 He's not unconscious, but he definitely could have banged his head.

00:48:45.000 So I would not say that he's faking it in any stretch of the imagination. 0.64

00:48:50.000 That is a hard kick to the chest.

00:48:51.000 And, by the way, the kid who threw the kick knows how to kick.

00:48:55.000 Go do it one more time.

00:48:57.000 Just take it to the kick. 0.65

00:48:58.000 The kid who threw the kick, just go...

00:49:00.000 There's a slow motion.

00:49:02.000 I don't want to see it.

00:49:02.000 I want to see it like this.

00:49:04.000 That's a guy who's kicked people before.

00:49:06.000 Guaranteed.

00:49:06.000 He didn't even bother taking his hand off of the mic stand.

00:49:09.000 Notice that?

00:49:10.000 That guy knows how to kick.

00:49:12.000 He's got some martial arts experience.

00:49:14.000 100%.

00:49:14.000 Or someone taught him how to throw a nasty front kick and he knows how to do it.

00:49:18.000 Because the way he timed it and the way he hit that guy, he hit him fucking hard. 1.00

00:49:23.000 I'm torn because first of all that guy is the guy on the ground is obviously a cunt. 1.00

00:49:28.000 You know, he's annoying. 1.00

00:49:29.000 He's probably terrible.

00:49:30.000 If you're a comedian, you got to work with this guy and he gets in the way. 0.98

00:49:35.000 But you know, does it mean that he should have been kicked in the chest like that?

00:49:39.000 Man, I don't know. 0.99

00:49:40.000 But the other thing is he was fucking in full stride to get in that guy's face. 0.98

00:49:46.000 And if the guy didn't want to grapple with him, you get two options. 0.99

00:49:49.000 That guy ran right up to him.

00:49:52.000 Look at him.

00:49:53.000 He's walking.

00:49:54.000 He got stopped by that kick.

00:49:57.000 He was going to get right to that guy.

00:49:59.000 Look, he's in mid-stride, not slowing down at all.

00:50:03.000 He could have pushed that guy.

00:50:05.000 Look, he's reaching out to him.

00:50:07.000 Look. 1.00

00:50:09.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

00:50:10.000 That guy, I see, you know what? 1.00

00:50:12.000 I mean, I don't like the fact that he banged his head and literally he could get really badly hurt in a situation like that, but...

00:50:20.000 In the beginning of the video, also, the guy had already grabbed him.

00:50:23.000 He's like, don't grab me.

00:50:24.000 And then the beginning of the video is him like, I'm warning you, do not come up here.

00:50:28.000 Yeah, I'm for it. 0.99

00:50:32.000 I definitely think the guy's a cunt, but the reality is the club should have got rid of that dude. 1.00

00:50:37.000 You can't let somebody grab people like that. 1.00

00:50:39.000 You can't let someone run up to the stage like that.

00:50:42.000 But, you know, they probably can't afford security.

00:50:44.000 There's only five people in the audience.

00:50:45.000 We're going to hire some guy who's going to eat up your profits, just stand around there looking big. 1.00

00:50:51.000 So, it's fucked. 0.99

00:50:53.000 You know, Greg Fitzsimmons got in a scrap once at Stitches Comedy Club in Boston, where I missed the show. 1.00

00:50:59.000 Fuck, I wish I was there. 0.99

00:51:00.000 But some guy was in the audience, some guy was heckling, Greg tooled him, and then the guy ran up onto the stage and grabbed Greg, and they, like, fucking scuffled. 0.99

00:51:09.000 Like, they literally got into a fistfight, the bouncers came out, dragged the guy offstage, Greg stood up, brushed himself off, and goes, alright, anybody else want some of this?

00:51:18.000 And then went back with his act.

00:51:21.000 He was like, who's next?

00:51:23.000 It was really funny.

00:51:25.000 Yeah, the fights are interesting, except that usually at the comedy store, anywhere on Sunset, it's usually more like, oh, he's got a gun!

00:51:33.000 There's been so many of those nights there.

00:51:36.000 You've heard someone have a gun in the audience?

00:51:38.000 Well, on a certain night.

00:51:40.000 Oh, the Black Knight.

00:51:41.000 Yeah.

00:51:41.000 Is that what you're going to say?

00:51:42.000 Yeah.

00:51:43.000 Yeah, that has happened.

00:51:44.000 Wasn't there shots fired once when Tupac was at the comedy store?

00:51:48.000 Yeah.

00:51:49.000 Well, who would figure?

00:51:51.000 Who saw that coming?

00:51:52.000 A guy who got killed by gunfire who'd been shot twice.

00:51:55.000 Somehow or another would be involved in some sort of a shooting thing.

00:51:58.000 Someone just sent me this crazy story.

00:51:59.000 I'm going to let you read it.

00:52:01.000 Is it about them hanging out at the comedy store with Mitzi?

00:52:03.000 No. 0.99

00:52:04.000 Japanese boxer, 24, bursts into lawyer's office, cuts off the 42-year-old man's penis with a garden shears, flushes the organ down the toilet after discovering wife's affair. 1.00

00:52:15.000 Wow. 0.99

00:52:16.000 He carried out the horrifying attack in Tokyo earlier this morning. 0.96

00:52:19.000 He punched the unnamed lawyer repeatedly before severing his genitals, flushed a peanut on the toilet, and waited for the police. 0.73

00:52:26.000 The skilled boxers thought to have carried out the attack after finding out the lawyer had been sleeping with his wife. 1.00

00:52:31.000 Damn, son. 1.00

00:52:32.000 You can't blame the girl. 1.00

00:52:33.000 No, you don't.

00:52:35.000 Well, he has to blame the girl, yes. 1.00

00:52:38.000 But you can't blame the girl for this guy coming in and cutting off that guy's dick. 1.00

00:52:41.000 No, no, no. 1.00

00:52:42.000 He should have...

00:52:42.000 I never understand why they go after the guy.

00:52:45.000 You should go after the girl. 0.82

00:52:46.000 I mean, if it's your wife.

00:52:48.000 Well, Japanese. 0.99

00:52:49.000 The guy might not even know.

00:52:50.000 He's got a different culture.

00:52:51.000 You know, maybe in their culture, you gotta attack the man with garden shears. 1.00

00:52:55.000 Yeah, that's fucked. 1.00

00:52:56.000 Do you remember when there was a real bad story where a lady did that to her husband, cut his dick off, and threw it in a garbage disposal? 1.00

00:53:04.000 Bob it. 1.00

00:53:04.000 And... 1.00

00:53:05.000 No, no, no.

00:53:05.000 She threw it out the window.

00:53:08.000 While she was driving her car and they found it and stitched it back on. 0.95

00:53:11.000 This lady threw it in the garbage disposal and Sharon Osbourne, Ozzy's wife, was on one of those dumb chick shows and was mocking it, laughing about how it must have looked like spinning around in a circle. 1.00

00:53:24.000 You never heard that? 0.99

00:53:26.000 Dude, it's awful.

00:53:27.000 It's awful.

00:53:28.000 Play it, Jamie, because it's really awful.

00:53:30.000 Because imagine if there was a show, like a man's show, and it's, this is the guy network, you know, whatever. 0.99

00:53:37.000 And on that show, a guy had cut his wife's clit off and threw it in a garbage disposal, you know, Egyptian style. 0.99

00:53:45.000 You know, they do that horrible genital mutilation they do on young ladies. 1.00

00:53:53.000 Imagine if someone was on TV mocking that. 1.00

00:53:56.000 Like, imagine what the clit looked like, just spinning around a circle. 1.00

00:53:59.000 This guy's life is ruined. 0.99

00:54:00.000 I don't know the circumstances.

00:54:01.000 I don't know why he filed for divorce.

00:54:04.000 I don't know what was going on between them.

00:54:06.000 However...

00:54:07.000 I do think it's quite fabulous.

00:54:11.000 I mean...

00:54:11.000 I think it's quite fabulous.

00:54:15.000 Imagine that thing whizzing around the disposal. 0.99

00:54:18.000 It's like hysterical.

00:54:22.000 Wow.

00:54:22.000 That's awful.

00:54:25.000 Fuck me, Joe. 1.00

00:54:27.000 Fuck him. 1.00

00:54:28.000 It's awful that someone would say something like that, you know? 1.00

00:54:31.000 What is going on here?

00:54:32.000 Something else?

00:54:33.000 Depending on why she cut it off.

00:54:34.000 I mean, it does depend on the reasons why.

00:54:37.000 Does it?

00:54:37.000 No.

00:54:38.000 Fuck her. 1.00

00:54:40.000 Poor Ozzy. 1.00

00:54:42.000 Married to that monster. 0.99

00:54:45.000 That's a terrible thing to think. 0.95

00:54:47.000 Like, why would anybody think, unless the guy had done something horrible like that to her, and she got a hold of him, you know? 1.00

00:54:53.000 Like, he cut her clit off, and she waited until he went to bed and cut his dick off. 1.00

00:54:57.000 You know, that's an eye for an eye, and they're both blind now. 1.00

00:55:00.000 But that's not what happened. 0.99

00:55:02.000 Whatever the fuck he did, you know, Jesus Christ, the fact that she could mock that. 0.98

00:55:07.000 I don't know what my original point was. 0.99

00:55:09.000 What do you think of those explosions in China?

00:55:12.000 Do you think that's just what they're saying it is?

00:55:15.000 Or do you think that's like a secret nuclear underground, you know, nuclear base that they're... 0.99

00:55:20.000 What the fuck are you talking about nuclear? 0.98

00:55:22.000 Well, you know, we recently found out that China supposedly... 0.99

00:55:25.000 Was it China that hacked the Pentagon?

00:55:27.000 And it just seems like, you know, a couple weeks later, now there's nuclear-sized explosions in their cities.

00:55:33.000 You know, the conspiracy theory.

00:55:35.000 First of all, China... 0.76

00:55:36.000 China is enormous. 1.00

00:55:37.000 So you're saying China as if it's like this fucking one block. 1.00

00:55:40.000 Like we're attacking Compton. 0.99

00:55:42.000 China's an enormous spot.

00:55:43.000 And China's a big industrial spot. 1.00

00:55:46.000 So there's constantly a bunch of shit that can go wrong and blow up. 0.98

00:55:50.000 I mean, that's just what happens when you're building things. 0.98

00:55:52.000 You're using engines and fire and gasoline and compression.

00:55:56.000 It easily could be what they said.

00:55:58.000 A chemical plant blew up.

00:55:59.000 They blow up all the time. 0.92

00:56:00.000 When they blow up, it's goddamn terrifying. 0.92

00:56:02.000 I've just never seen it that bad. 0.94

00:56:04.000 Did you see some of the new angles?

00:56:05.000 No, show some.

00:56:06.000 I sent one of them.

00:56:07.000 I think this is the same one that I was talking about where it literally goes...

00:56:10.000 There's three explosions.

00:56:12.000 The first one's like, wow, that's crazy.

00:56:13.000 They're saying like, hey, it looks like a gas station maybe blew up.

00:56:16.000 Then the second one's huge.

00:56:17.000 And it's like, all right, this is starting to look like, you know, Transformers the movie.

00:56:20.000 And then the third one's like, that's the end of the world explosion.

00:56:24.000 And this video that I think it's the right one is...

00:56:30.000 Literally, it seems like it's across the street, almost.

00:56:33.000 And it's a great angle, if you can find it.

00:56:34.000 Well, I've seen the one where the guy's inside, like, a convenience store, and the blast hits him, and the wall, like, knocks him back.

00:56:41.000 The windows knock him back. 0.99

00:56:42.000 And he looks like he got fucked up. 0.98

00:56:44.000 I don't know what happened to the dude in that picture, but the blast from it. 0.99

00:56:48.000 Yeah, this is it.

00:56:49.000 Now, this is cool because the conversation in it, the people talking in it, is awesome. 0.99

00:56:55.000 Holy shit! 1.00

00:56:57.000 White people. 1.00

00:56:58.000 Fuck yeah, I'm videoing it. 1.00

00:56:59.000 Canadian. 1.00

00:57:03.000 That sounds like Harlan Williams.

00:57:04.000 Watch the second one.

00:57:07.000 Oh my god.

00:57:14.000 Oh my god.

00:57:17.000 That's not even the worst one.

00:57:20.000 Really?

00:57:21.000 Oh my god, this is amazing.

00:57:27.000 Nobody!

00:57:32.000 Are we dangerous here?

00:57:34.000 Watch this one now. 1.00

00:57:47.000 Holy shit! 0.99

00:57:49.000 Look at the fire in the sky! 0.99

00:57:52.000 Yeah.

00:57:54.000 Let's go!

00:57:55.000 It went from fun times to run for your life!

00:58:00.000 Yeah, well that looks exactly like what they said it is. 1.00

00:58:04.000 Yeah, I don't think that's any terrorist shit. 0.99

00:58:06.000 That looks like a bomb blew up. 0.99

00:58:10.000 A gigantic chemical factory.

00:58:13.000 A bomb blew up?

00:58:14.000 I mean, you know, whatever, an explosion.

00:58:17.000 Not a bomb.

00:58:18.000 Yeah.

00:58:18.000 But I mean, same thing.

00:58:20.000 A bomb is just an explosion.

00:58:21.000 Have you seen the photos of the cars on the right side?

00:58:24.000 Have you seen all those cars that are parked there?

00:58:25.000 What is this?

00:58:26.000 Sodium cyanide on site might have been 70 times the allowed amount.

00:58:31.000 Wow.

00:58:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:58:31.000 They don't have rules in China.

00:58:33.000 They just...

00:58:33.000 It's a lot of chemicals that shouldn't have been there is what I think they're saying.

00:58:38.000 That makes sense.

00:58:39.000 That was amazing, though.

00:58:40.000 That was beautiful, too. 0.99

00:58:41.000 It's fucked up, but beautiful at the same time. 0.99

00:58:44.000 Like, there's something cool about that. 0.99

00:58:47.000 If they can show, is this the trail of destruction, what it's done to buildings?

00:58:51.000 Find the one where the guy's inside the store and the blast hits him.

00:58:59.000 Because that one's insane.

00:59:01.000 What are you doing over there, Brian?

00:59:03.000 You're tuning out on me.

00:59:04.000 Oh, I was just finding a new video of a house from erosion falling into the ocean that I wanted to show you.

00:59:11.000 Oh, is it one of those stilt houses?

00:59:14.000 Yeah, I guess it's like in poorer countries, they don't have the right foundations in a lot of their houses, so they just fall into the ocean.

00:59:20.000 You mean like Malibu?

00:59:21.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:59:22.000 Because the shit happens there. 0.99

00:59:23.000 They have all these crazy walls and stuff they build up in Malibu. 1.00

00:59:26.000 Here's the security camera footage.

00:59:27.000 This is the guy.

00:59:28.000 It's right in front of the door.

00:59:29.000 Like, watch this.

00:59:32.000 Boom! 0.99

00:59:33.000 Dude, you got jacked.

00:59:34.000 I mean, who knows what happened to that dude. 1.00

00:59:37.000 But when he gets knocked back, he is fucked. 0.99

00:59:39.000 Because everything exploded. 1.00

00:59:41.000 Like, look how it goes back.

00:59:43.000 He's looking at his phone, too.

00:59:45.000 Look. 1.00

00:59:46.000 Homeboy's looking at his fucking phone. 1.00

00:59:48.000 He's standing by the window. 1.00

00:59:49.000 Watch that again.

00:59:49.000 Look.

00:59:51.000 This bitch hasn't even texted me back, man. 1.00

00:59:53.000 Boom! 1.00

00:59:57.000 I mean, he literally didn't even see it coming. 0.82

00:59:59.000 No, it looks like he hits his head first and goes, what the heck?

01:00:02.000 And then the whole house, or the side just falls on him. 0.66

01:00:04.000 I like your bad accent. 0.95

01:00:06.000 It's not supposed to be. 0.96

01:00:07.000 What the hell? 0.96

01:00:08.000 What the heck? 0.99

01:00:10.000 Hello, kiddo! 0.97

01:00:12.000 But there was a guy who set up an explosion in his house.

01:00:17.000 He left the gas on and set like some sort of a timer and set some sort of a device to ignite it and it blew the house up.

01:00:26.000 He was doing it for an insurance scam and he went to jail for murder because he wound up killing his neighbor.

01:00:32.000 Remember that?

01:00:33.000 Yeah, he...

01:00:34.000 See if you can find that story. 0.99

01:00:35.000 But the fucking damage that just got done from a line inside a person's house. 0.99

01:00:41.000 And it makes you think, it's crazy that you could just do that. 0.99

01:00:46.000 Like, if you were a nut, and you just wanted to turn your gas on and sit there.

01:00:50.000 Look at this.

01:00:51.000 This leveled. 1.00

01:00:52.000 This fucking two houses on this block. 0.99

01:00:55.000 And this was all done with gas. 0.99

01:00:59.000 Make sure this is the right one because there have been like explosions that were accidental that did happen that caused some pretty significant damage to it.

01:01:09.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:01:10.000 Wow.

01:01:11.000 Yeah, it's Indiana too.

01:01:12.000 That's where it happened.

01:01:13.000 A famous video of the house blowing up that came out a couple years ago where You know what I'm talking about, Jamie, that nice house where there's a helicopter going around a house.

01:01:21.000 Yeah, it was a fire.

01:01:22.000 There was a fire going on, right?

01:01:24.000 And then the house exploded in the middle of it. 0.99

01:01:25.000 So this guy just left the fucking gas on and then said, we're going to make some money. 0.99

01:01:31.000 But just look at these three. 0.99

01:01:32.000 The three that got caught, look at the guy on the far right.

01:01:36.000 You almost don't blame him.

01:01:37.000 Right.

01:01:38.000 Whatever that chick in the middle says, I'll do. 0.95

01:01:40.000 How hard was that guy's life?

01:01:42.000 The guy on the far right with the glasses, how hard must his life have been? 0.92

01:01:47.000 We're looking at this guy who looks like William H. Macy had sex with Somebody to the left and somebody to the right. 0.91

01:01:59.000 No, it looks like William H. Macy and Vanderlei Silva's nose post-surgery with one wonky eye. 1.00

01:02:08.000 Poor bastard. 0.99

01:02:09.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:02:09.000 The eye thing. 1.00

01:02:10.000 He's just a mess.

01:02:11.000 That guy's just lived a life of misery and very little love. 0.98

01:02:16.000 Just got this feel about him.

01:02:18.000 And so they decided they were going to make some money from insurance money.

01:02:24.000 When you have a sideways eye like that, do you actually have better side vision than peripheral?

01:02:30.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:30.000 Maybe you have way better vision that way.

01:02:32.000 I don't think so.

01:02:33.000 I think it actually fucks up your straight vision because you're always getting a little bit of this side stuff in there.

01:02:38.000 It probably fucks with your straight ahead vision.

01:02:44.000 Yeah, I guess it would.

01:02:46.000 But if you can move them independently, like some sort of a chameleon, We're supposed to have eyes in front of us, right?

01:02:54.000 The idea being that's one of the main indicators that we're predators.

01:02:57.000 We have eyes in front of us because we're looking forward to killing things.

01:03:01.000 We're not looking on our sides like deer.

01:03:03.000 The reason why deer have them on the side of their head is because they're terrified.

01:03:06.000 They have to look out.

01:03:07.000 What's over there?

01:03:08.000 They can be going sideways like this.

01:03:11.000 Their head can be totally facing sideways and they can look right at you.

01:03:15.000 We can't do that.

01:03:16.000 Because we don't need to worry as much about getting flanked.

01:03:18.000 We're usually the pursuers and not the pursuees.

01:03:21.000 Speaking of pursuers and not the pursuees, running with the Bulls was particularly successful this season.

01:03:28.000 The Bulls scored seven kills.

01:03:32.000 That's the highest, right?

01:03:33.000 This is a big one.

01:03:34.000 It's a big year for them.

01:03:35.000 They're very excited.

01:03:36.000 They went back to the slaughterhouse and were pretty pumped before they got killed.

01:03:42.000 I think they killed them.

01:03:43.000 I don't know what happens with the bulls.

01:03:45.000 What happens with the bulls when they run with the bulls?

01:03:48.000 It's not like bullfighting, right?

01:03:50.000 I think they just fight and fight and fight and fight.

01:03:52.000 We're gonna have to talk.

01:03:53.000 We can't just only look at laptops here because otherwise I'm only talking to myself.

01:03:57.000 I'm listening.

01:03:58.000 I'm just sending new links. 0.96

01:04:01.000 Well, let's just talk about this bull thing because it's so ridiculous.

01:04:04.000 Pull that up, Jamie, because it's incredible that seven people died. 1.00

01:04:07.000 Why the fuck do they do it? 0.99

01:04:09.000 I guess it's a thrill? 1.00

01:04:11.000 Is that the idea behind it?

01:04:13.000 It's a tradition.

01:04:15.000 What does that mean?

01:04:16.000 So is slavery.

01:04:17.000 Should we go back to that?

01:04:18.000 That's a tradition.

01:04:19.000 The Inquisition was kind of a tradition.

01:04:21.000 Slavery still exists.

01:04:22.000 You just get paid for it now.

01:04:23.000 Ten people died.

01:04:24.000 Ten now?

01:04:25.000 Three more?

01:04:26.000 Four this weekend.

01:04:27.000 Oh.

01:04:27.000 What?

01:04:28.000 It's been a really good week.

01:04:30.000 The bulls are scorn.

01:04:31.000 Pull it up. 1.00

01:04:32.000 Put some shit up. 1.00

01:04:33.000 Look at this. 1.00

01:04:34.000 Four more gourd to death across Spain as surge and bull run casualties continue.

01:04:41.000 I hope the bulls are just getting smarter. 0.99

01:04:43.000 Look how fucking big they are and look how many people there are. 1.00

01:04:46.000 That's what's fucked up. 0.99

01:04:47.000 There's way too many people to get out of the way. 0.95

01:04:49.000 You just can't get out of the way.

01:04:52.000 So you got these bulls and they're real bulls with full-on horns and these real bulls are just running into these packed avenues of people and just mowing them over and killing them. 1.00

01:05:04.000 It's fucking ridiculously stupid. 1.00

01:05:07.000 It's got to be one of the dumbest ways to die. 1.00

01:05:10.000 I wrote this fucking article about this a long time ago, joking around about how dumb it was, and this guy got really mad at me. 0.99

01:05:18.000 It's like, my teacher, my professor did that, and it's all about appreciating the culture, and like, how come you can't just go to the country? 0.99

01:05:26.000 Why do you have to run from a fucking animal to appreciate the culture?

01:05:29.000 Did you see that thing Bert was doing this week, and I've seen it before, they chase cheese down a hill, and these guys run down a hill and get hurt? 1.00

01:05:36.000 Similar dumb thing. 0.94

01:05:37.000 Well, you don't have to chase the cheese. 0.99

01:05:39.000 Cheese isn't trying to kill you.

01:05:40.000 This is totally different. 0.94

01:05:42.000 I mean, this is so gross, man.

01:05:45.000 Spain's economic crisis has forced a sharp drop of the number of bullfights in the country, with about 300 fewer bullfights scheduled for this year as compared to the years before the crisis.

01:05:54.000 Yet the number of ranchers who are raising fighting bulls has stayed the same.

01:05:58.000 The only way out for these ranchers would be in the festivals in these municipalities.

01:06:03.000 So it suggests that many of the bulls that would have been destined for bullfights are instead running along the streets of the country. 0.99

01:06:10.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.99

01:06:11.000 Because those are really big bulls. 1.00

01:06:15.000 And they're really ferocious. 1.00

01:06:16.000 And they come from a long line of bulls that have been almost bred for that shit. 1.00

01:06:23.000 They're doing it in the United States now, I'm pretty sure. 1.00

01:06:25.000 What?

01:06:25.000 Like, having, like, little set-up bull runs, and you can go run through these.

01:06:29.000 It says right there, it says right there, these are bulls with more power, more capacity to charge, uh, said Lorca, whoever that is, uh, of the bulls being used for small-town bull runs, he said that an encounter with one of those, one of these would likely do more harm than the bulls of previous years. 0.79

01:06:44.000 Obviously, you've got fuckin' eleven deaths this year. 0.99

01:06:47.000 What a clusterfuck. 0.99

01:06:49.000 In the US, they're using them to clean out homeless populations by putting them downtown at night. 0.98

01:06:55.000 Can you imagine if they did that, though?

01:06:56.000 They had a bull run once a week, and they just played tons of bulls, and the homeless are like, I'll get this bull! 1.00

01:07:02.000 Well, the real problem is not the fatalities, it's the homeless people that survive.

01:07:06.000 It's going to be even worse.

01:07:07.000 You've got to take care of those people for the rest of their lives. 0.99

01:07:11.000 The whole thing is fucking gross. 1.00

01:07:14.000 The whole thing is completely ridiculous. 1.00

01:07:16.000 As well as the bullfights. 1.00

01:07:18.000 Bullfights are fucking ridiculous, too. 0.99

01:07:20.000 Because, first of all, you're not really fighting that bull, right? 1.00

01:07:23.000 You're stabbing it with spears, and you're running around, and other people get to stab it, and some of the spears, they have poison in them.

01:07:31.000 Mangord to death filming Bull Run in Spain on mobile phone.

01:07:35.000 World storm!

01:07:39.000 World storm! 1.00

01:07:41.000 Yeah, there's a great video of a guy getting one up the asshole. 0.99

01:07:45.000 I don't mean great, really, but I mean like, whoa. 1.00

01:07:48.000 Have you seen that one when the guy gets the horns right up the asshole? 1.00

01:07:50.000 So horrible. 1.00

01:07:51.000 It's like, Jesus Christ. 0.91

01:07:52.000 He got his sphincters torn open, his rectum was torn apart. 0.71

01:07:58.000 Rectum? 0.91

01:07:58.000 Nearly killed him. 0.91

01:08:01.000 Yeah, I think that was one of the first animated gifs I ever saw.

01:08:04.000 It was like, what?

01:08:05.000 What's going on? 0.99

01:08:06.000 That horn's going in its butt. 1.00

01:08:07.000 Oh my god, it's going in its butt. 0.99

01:08:08.000 Just from it loading so slow. 0.99

01:08:11.000 It's ugly, dude.

01:08:12.000 These people, look at that. 0.96

01:08:14.000 This guy's got one in the face.

01:08:16.000 Let's go through all these.

01:08:17.000 Let's go through all these.

01:08:18.000 Please visit the image.

01:08:22.000 Let's get the first one again.

01:08:23.000 Close in on that first one.

01:08:24.000 Because it seems like it's going right through his cheek.

01:08:26.000 Is that what's happening there?

01:08:27.000 Oh my god.

01:08:28.000 Yes, it is.

01:08:29.000 Look, it's right through his cheek. 1.00

01:08:31.000 Look at the fucking impact. 1.00

01:08:33.000 Oh my god, it's going through his eyeball. 1.00

01:08:35.000 Look at that, Brian.

01:08:36.000 I know!

01:08:37.000 Look at it.

01:08:37.000 It's through his eyeball.

01:08:39.000 I can see it on that little one. 1.00

01:08:40.000 Now, as a confirmed member of Team People, I cannot say that I'm happy about this, but there are too many people in the 405, and I think the only way to stop that is to kill off a few retards. 1.00

01:08:54.000 You don't want to kill off the good people. 0.98

01:08:56.000 And I'm not saying this guy was retarded, but his occupation most certainly was. 1.00

01:08:59.000 You know, maybe just there's a hard way out, man.

01:09:02.000 It's hard to get out.

01:09:03.000 Get off that photo! 0.82

01:09:04.000 He's a bullfighter.

01:09:05.000 His family's bullfighters. 1.00

01:09:07.000 And they're like, don't be a pussy, mijo. 1.00

01:09:09.000 Oh, this is a different guy getting one in the face. 1.00

01:09:11.000 Way clear.

01:09:12.000 It's a different one, though.

01:09:13.000 It's a different dude, right?

01:09:15.000 Isn't it?

01:09:15.000 I think it's the same photo.

01:09:16.000 Is it?

01:09:16.000 Because the horns look different.

01:09:18.000 Because the other one, the horns were black.

01:09:20.000 And this one, they're white.

01:09:22.000 See, the tips are white and black.

01:09:24.000 And there's a blue thing sticking out of his neck.

01:09:26.000 Go to the first one again.

01:09:29.000 Yeah, maybe it's the same guy.

01:09:30.000 It might be the same guy.

01:09:31.000 It might just be the resolution.

01:09:34.000 Picked up the actual color of the horns better. 1.00

01:09:37.000 That's dark shit, dude. 1.00

01:09:39.000 Having horns go through your fucking eye. 1.00

01:09:41.000 And that's his eyeball blown out like that. 1.00

01:09:43.000 No shoe either.

01:09:44.000 Lost a shoe. 1.00

01:09:45.000 Poor bastard. 1.00

01:09:48.000 I got something better than that that will clean the palate of seeing all that disgusting shit. 1.00

01:09:53.000 Have you seen that little Asian girl that can hypnotize animals? 1.00

01:09:56.000 She puts like seven different animals on this table.

01:10:00.000 And at first it's like a lizard and she's like, and then the lizard just passes out. 0.89

01:10:06.000 And then she goes to a dog and the dog passes out.

01:10:08.000 And then a frog.

01:10:09.000 See, this involves two things for you.

01:10:13.000 It involves Asian girls... 1.00

01:10:14.000 No, I'm talking about like a little baby.

01:10:16.000 So it might not be real?

01:10:18.000 No, this is on a game show.

01:10:20.000 Oh, then it's definitely real, right?

01:10:22.000 Well, I mean, it's pretty interesting because at one point, she has like a certain time limit to go down all these animals.

01:10:30.000 At one point, the dog wakes up. 0.99

01:10:32.000 It's like, what the fuck happened? 0.98

01:10:34.000 Yeah, I just sent you. 0.95

01:10:34.000 It is amazing, though. 0.95

01:10:36.000 It doesn't seem like it would make sense.

01:10:38.000 Like, how can someone hypnotize a dog?

01:10:41.000 Okay, so here's the girl. 0.95

01:10:45.000 What is this sky ladder?

01:10:46.000 What is all that?

01:10:47.000 I don't know.

01:10:48.000 Okay, so the dog lays down.

01:10:54.000 And then the guy's pretending that he's falling asleep too.

01:10:57.000 Yeah.

01:10:58.000 And so the dog just...

01:10:59.000 Yeah, hear this?

01:11:01.000 That's a puppy that's lying down.

01:11:03.000 Yeah.

01:11:12.000 Okay, so the dog is just good at laying down.

01:11:16.000 Look at that cute lizard, though. 0.53

01:11:18.000 Mm-hmm.

01:11:19.000 Lizard is awake, by the way.

01:11:21.000 She flips the lizard upside down and then just starts rubbing the belly and... 0.97

01:11:25.000 Okay, well, do you know that that's actually the way you put lizards to sleep?

01:11:28.000 That's why you do that with crocodiles and alligators? 0.72

01:11:30.000 You put them on their back and rub their belly and they pass out? 0.99

01:11:33.000 I didn't.

01:11:33.000 Yeah.

01:11:34.000 But it's kind of cool, like, seeing her do this.

01:11:37.000 I'm pretty sure that that's the case with lizards, too.

01:11:41.000 That some of them, when you lay on their back, it's the way they're designed.

01:11:44.000 I think that's what I read about sharks as well.

01:11:48.000 Like, sharks, if you flip them upside down, there's something about the way they're designed, the way they're designed by the big guy upstairs.

01:11:55.000 That when you do that to them, for whatever reason, they can't stay conscious.

01:11:59.000 It makes sense.

01:12:00.000 Isn't there something about sharks you have to push them if they get stopped, like they can't move or something?

01:12:05.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

01:12:07.000 What do you mean they can't move?

01:12:08.000 Like if you like reinsert a shark in the water, you kind of have to give it a little scoot or it won't be able to swim.

01:12:13.000 I don't know.

01:12:14.000 That kind of makes sense because they're always constantly in motion.

01:12:19.000 In some ways that makes sense, like they might not know what to do.

01:12:21.000 Some Bill Nye fact just entered my brain.

01:12:23.000 That's why I was asking.

01:12:24.000 That might be true.

01:12:25.000 So I'm not impressed with this.

01:12:27.000 The frog figured out that it was on its back.

01:12:30.000 He flipped back over.

01:12:32.000 Why is this so interesting to you?

01:12:34.000 Because she does it to a bunny rabbit. 1.00

01:12:36.000 She does it to a bird. 1.00

01:12:38.000 She does it to a dog. 1.00

01:12:39.000 She covered the bird's face. 0.57

01:12:42.000 That's what you do.

01:12:42.000 If you cover the bird's face with a blanket like that, the bird freaks out and just lays there.

01:12:47.000 Look, I was just trying to get off of the disgusting bull video. 1.00

01:12:49.000 Yeah, this is stupid as fuck. 1.00

01:12:52.000 I can't believe you made me want this. 1.00

01:12:52.000 How about the truck crashing into a highway sign? 1.00

01:12:55.000 This truck was driving down the highway, and somebody's dashboard cam catches the truck hit one of those overpass signs that say, like, up ahead, you know, I-5 and stuff like that.

01:13:05.000 It was too tall for the overpass, and it's very scary.

01:13:09.000 Oh, I've seen that.

01:13:10.000 Yeah, it's a very scary video, though.

01:13:12.000 Why is it scary?

01:13:14.000 I don't know.

01:13:14.000 It's just...

01:13:15.000 It's car accident scary.

01:13:18.000 Like, if you were behind that...

01:13:19.000 Here it is.

01:13:21.000 Boom! 0.99

01:13:24.000 It didn't even tip over. 1.00

01:13:27.000 That's fucking impressive as shit. 0.99

01:13:28.000 So they had the load up and they forgot the loader was up and they were driving? 0.99

01:13:33.000 Yeah, it's kind of like a dump truck thing and it was up and they didn't know it was up. 1.00

01:13:37.000 Imagine if that guy worked for you and you're like, you fucking dope. 1.00

01:13:40.000 You can't even just look before you drive on the highway, you fucking idiot. 1.00

01:13:44.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:13:46.000 That's probably a big problem with running a company though, right? 1.00

01:13:50.000 You have idiots? 1.00

01:13:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:51.000 Oh, absolutely. 1.00

01:13:52.000 If you have people driving shit around for you, like rocks, you got a bucket of rocks in the back of that thing. 0.94

01:13:58.000 Or, you know, tractor trailer full of rocks, whatever. 0.98

01:14:02.000 And you have these dummies that are working for you, dumping these rocks off, and then you go, all right, we've dumped it off, let's drive.

01:14:08.000 You think we should lower that thing?

01:14:09.000 Yeah, fine, I do it all the time.

01:14:12.000 I do it all the time. 0.97

01:14:14.000 He just takes it on the highway like that, just destroys that sign, fucks it. 0.92

01:14:17.000 You gotta pay for that sign, too. 0.94

01:14:18.000 I'm sure that company has to pay for the sign.

01:14:21.000 We used to have employees, because I used to be a manager for a long time, and you used to have to hire...

01:14:25.000 How scary is that, ladies and gentlemen, if you're one of those people out there with an actual job?

01:14:29.000 Imagine Brian being your boss. 0.97

01:14:31.000 The worst, though, is that when you hire somebody, and then you realize, oh shit, that was such a mistake, and you can't... 0.99

01:14:38.000 It's really hard just to fire somebody. 0.94

01:14:39.000 You have to go through certain...

01:14:41.000 You know, laws and stuff like that.

01:14:43.000 Yeah, they're like, especially government jobs.

01:14:45.000 Government jobs is real hard.

01:14:46.000 You know, when we learned that, well, I kind of always knew it, but we really learned that when it came to Nevada and referees and judges for MMA. Really hard to get a judge fired.

01:14:57.000 Really hard.

01:14:58.000 Like, they could prove to be absolutely, totally incompetent, but it's like working at the DMV. Like, once you have one of those government jobs, like, you're a government official, officiator, Someone who judges fights like that you might as well have a job working for any other government agency Like it's super difficult to fire you especially with something like like fights Because if you watch a fight and you've seen a bunch of fights you kind of know who won who doesn't want But it's subjective like you might decide that one person won

01:15:28.000 But Jamie might decide that another person won and there are fights where people will adamantly Like, argue one way or the other.

01:15:37.000 But there's some that are just undeniable. 0.98

01:15:39.000 And when you get those undeniable ones, you're like, what the fuck were you watching? 0.97

01:15:42.000 How'd this guy win? 0.95

01:15:43.000 And those undeniable ones, you gotta step in.

01:15:45.000 You gotta fire people.

01:15:46.000 And they can't.

01:15:47.000 They just can't.

01:15:48.000 You can't because it's subjective.

01:15:50.000 All this person has to do is say, hey, I officiated a hundred different fighting shows and I was never criticized for any of those.

01:15:59.000 Most of the time you don't get criticized.

01:16:00.000 It has to be completely egregious before you get criticized. 0.99

01:16:03.000 But it's fucking hard as shit to fire one of those people They just they can dig their heels and especially if they're a part of a minority group You know then they can you know get people behind them and I've Literally heard that conversation before like someone say well there'd be two different problems one Firing someone is hard and then firing someone who might be black or a woman they go is even harder and And I went, 1.00

01:16:28.000 you gotta be kidding me. 0.99

01:16:29.000 If you fire a judge, it's not based on their competency. 0.70

01:16:33.000 Some of it has to be considered whether or not they're black or a woman.

01:16:36.000 And he goes, absolutely.

01:16:38.000 Absolutely.

01:16:38.000 He goes, you might as well be, like I said, firing someone who works for any other government agency.

01:16:43.000 You have to treat it like that.

01:16:46.000 It was like roast battle.

01:16:48.000 Okay, let's put roast battle in context, which is an awesome show that people judge.

01:16:51.000 And it's very rare that anybody disagrees on who won the roast battle.

01:16:55.000 But it can get close, right?

01:16:56.000 It can get close.

01:16:57.000 It gets weird.

01:16:58.000 It gets weird.

01:16:59.000 Sometimes people are biased, right?

01:17:01.000 Yeah, they get biased or they're just doing it because they want to see another round.

01:17:03.000 Like the scoring part's just not really even real.

01:17:06.000 Sometimes that does happen.

01:17:08.000 That definitely happens.

01:17:09.000 But when a guy gets trounced...

01:17:13.000 It's pretty obvious, right?

01:17:14.000 But in fights, guys have gotten trounced and still lost, or still won. 0.99

01:17:18.000 The guy who got his ass kicked has still won a decision. 0.99

01:17:21.000 That has happened. 1.00

01:17:22.000 Not just once.

01:17:23.000 A gang of times.

01:17:24.000 There was a lady that was doing that in Vegas, and she was responsible for like two or three really bad decisions. 1.00

01:17:31.000 One of them was Pacquiao, Timothy Bradley, and there was another...

01:17:37.000 There was another, like, big fight.

01:17:39.000 I forget what the other one was.

01:17:41.000 She had, like, an initial name, like a TJ something or another.

01:17:45.000 The girl with the bangs?

01:17:46.000 She was retired.

01:17:46.000 Blonde.

01:17:47.000 I don't remember.

01:17:48.000 I don't remember what she looked like.

01:17:49.000 But I remember people saying that it very well could have been that she was paid off by people.

01:17:54.000 CJ Ross.

01:17:55.000 Yeah, that was the one.

01:17:56.000 I think she's retired.

01:17:59.000 She just took so much heat because people gamble on those fights. 1.00

01:18:02.000 Especially a Pacquiao fight.

01:18:04.000 You're talking about millions of dollars being exchanged.

01:18:08.000 Millions. 0.99

01:18:09.000 I mean, how many fucking people bet on a Pacquiao fight? 0.99

01:18:12.000 That gets pretty nutty. 0.99

01:18:13.000 So, who knows who came up to that lady and told her, look, all I gotta do is, yeah, it's a fucking draw. 0.98

01:18:20.000 Is it close? 0.98

01:18:21.000 Is it close?

01:18:21.000 It's close, right?

01:18:22.000 It's close fight?

01:18:23.000 It's a draw.

01:18:24.000 So judges in a like an appointed elected if not elected appointed official.

01:18:28.000 Yeah can't be replaced It's very hard in a system be changed at all like the way very hard No, very hard to change it.

01:18:35.000 You know who's got a great judging idea is Anthony Hardonk who used to fight for the UFC now.

01:18:40.000 He's a trainer trains at Dynamics in Santa Monica trains a lot of UFC fighters, but he's had a great idea for a scoring system.

01:18:48.000 And his idea for a scoring system is totally different than the one they have now.

01:18:51.000 What they have now is it's called the 10-point must system, and it's what boxing uses.

01:18:55.000 So everybody starts out with 10 points, but if, say, you knock me down, then you get, like, you have 10, and I have 8, because you knocked me down.

01:19:04.000 If I lost the round, then it's 9. But 10-9s can kind of go either way.

01:19:09.000 Like, 10-9, like, I might think you won 10-9, But somebody else might think Brian won 10-9.

01:19:14.000 That's real subjective.

01:19:15.000 But once a guy gets knocked down, it's pretty universally 10-8.

01:19:18.000 Unless a guy was dominating the whole round and then got knocked down, then it would be 9-9.

01:19:23.000 Then it would be a draw.

01:19:24.000 But that's usually not what happens.

01:19:26.000 Usually when a guy gets knocked down, it's 10-8.

01:19:28.000 What Hardonk is saying is that that doesn't make any sense and that all of the scores...

01:19:35.000 But he's from Holland.

01:19:37.000 All of the scores for all the techniques should count.

01:19:41.000 So, like, the first round might be six.

01:19:44.000 You might have six and he might have two.

01:19:47.000 Because, like, you beat him up, you did a bunch of things to him, and all those things count as points.

01:19:51.000 And then the next round, it might be you have four and you have three.

01:19:56.000 So even though there's two rounds in the books and you won the first round and he won the second round, he only won the second round by one point.

01:20:03.000 Whereas you won the first round by a bunch of points because you're counting up all the different things that you did during that round.

01:20:08.000 So it's accumulative. 0.99

01:20:09.000 So instead of this 10-9 system where you can have two 10-9 rounds, but one 10-9 round, you totally kick Jamie's ass. 0.99

01:20:16.000 But the next 10-9 round, Jamie barely, barely squeaks by you. 0.99

01:20:21.000 Barely.

01:20:22.000 Almost like a roast battle situation where you give it to him because he came back from that first round.

01:20:26.000 And then you're even going into the third and final round.

01:20:29.000 But you're not even. 0.99

01:20:30.000 The reality is you fucked him up way more than he fucked you up. 0.98

01:20:33.000 And he's got a really good point with that. 0.98

01:20:36.000 Because the idea of having two 10-9 rounds, and one of them is just vastly different. 0.55

01:20:42.000 There's 10-9 rounds where a guy literally does nothing to the other guy, just gets his ass kicked all over the place and just survives, still loses 10-9.

01:20:49.000 And then in the other one, two guys go toe-to-toe, and it's almost indiscernible who won.

01:20:55.000 And that's also 10-9. 1.00

01:20:56.000 Stupid. 1.00

01:20:57.000 He's totally right. 1.00

01:20:58.000 And what his idea is a score shouldn't be like 49-48, 49-47, and the third judge scores it.

01:21:06.000 You know, he's like, it really should be a number like 30 points.

01:21:12.000 12 or 37 and 6 or 45 and 13 or 45 and 40 like where there's big numbers if the fight has a lot of action like a lot of shits going on it's not just 10-9 there's head kicks and takedowns or there could be a 10-9 round where both guys like Anderson Silva vs.

01:21:33.000 Talos Laitis.

01:21:34.000 Here's a perfect example.

01:21:35.000 Anderson Silva fought Talos Laitis and neither one exchanged.

01:21:38.000 Neither one did anything. 0.99

01:21:40.000 There was many times in that fight it was boring as fuck. 0.98

01:21:42.000 Because Anderson's a counter-striker and Talos is a jiu-jitsu fighter. 0.98

01:21:46.000 So Anderson knew that he could pick them apart on the outside and not do much.

01:21:50.000 And Talos knew that if he ran at Anderson it's like running into a meat chipper. 0.99

01:21:54.000 Or a wood chipper.

01:21:55.000 So he had to figure out which way to play the fight out.

01:22:01.000 So there was very little action.

01:22:02.000 It was a really boring fight.

01:22:04.000 Well, that's still 10-9.

01:22:05.000 That's a 10-9 round.

01:22:07.000 I mean, these are 10-9 rounds. 0.68

01:22:10.000 How could that be a 10-9 round when, you know, come up with something fucking completely crazy and chaotic, that could also be a 10-9 round. 0.51

01:22:18.000 Like Shogun versus Dan Henderson. 0.97

01:22:20.000 They beat the fuck out of each other.

01:22:22.000 That could also be a 10-9 round, you know? 0.98

01:22:25.000 That's crazy.

01:22:26.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:22:27.000 Fights where there's a lot of action, the score should be higher.

01:22:31.000 And I think that would also show how exciting fighters are.

01:22:37.000 You could say, like, Michael Jordan scored 50 points playing for the Chicago Bulls. 0.98

01:22:42.000 And everybody's like, holy shit, Jordan scored 50 last night? 0.97

01:22:45.000 Well, if Ronda Rousey fights Betch Cohea again, and... 0.99

01:22:50.000 Beats the fucking shit out of her for the first round, but somehow or another, Betch makes it into the second round. 1.00

01:22:55.000 And you look at the score. 0.99

01:22:57.000 Her score for the first round was 162. Cohea had one.

01:23:02.000 You know, like, if you see something like that, like, that's like, holy shit. 0.95

01:23:05.000 I actually think it makes it better.

01:23:07.000 How would you say you'd do it, though?

01:23:09.000 Would you just break the round up into quarters, and each quarter you get, like, ten points?

01:23:14.000 No.

01:23:15.000 It would have to be just like scoring in basketball.

01:23:17.000 It would have to be the techniques that land.

01:23:19.000 So, like, say, if you and Jamie are fighting, and you hit him with, like, five leg kicks in a row, you'd have to...

01:23:26.000 You'd have to figure out a way to quantify those leg kicks. 0.91

01:23:29.000 Like what is worth more?

01:23:30.000 Is a leg kick worth two points and a jab worth one point?

01:23:34.000 Is a right hand that rocks you worth five points and one that grazes off you worth one point?

01:23:40.000 You'd have to figure out It would have to be at least partially subjective because the real undeniable, measurable thing in a fight is the knockout and the submission.

01:23:54.000 The TKO even is problematic because there's fights that are stopped and you're like, ah, the guy was fucking that guy up, but I would have liked to see the guy had a chance to survive.

01:24:05.000 And then there's other referees where the guy could get fucked up way worse, and the referee lets it go on.

01:24:12.000 The guy winds up winning the fight.

01:24:13.000 Frankie Edgar vs. 0.99

01:24:14.000 Grey Maynard, 2 and 3. The first time they fought, Edgar beat him by decision.

01:24:19.000 The second time they fought, Grey Maynard almost knocked him out.

01:24:24.000 First fight, Grey Maynard won a decision.

01:24:26.000 Second fight...

01:24:28.000 Gray almost knocked him out, and then Frankie wound up making it to the end, and it was a draw. 1.00

01:24:33.000 And in the third fight, Gray almost knocked him out again in the first round, and Frankie wound up knocking him out later in the fight.

01:24:41.000 So in fights like that, like...

01:24:44.000 A worse referee would have called that fight in the first round, and Gray Maynard would have knocked him out and won the title.

01:24:50.000 So it's one of those weird things where you just gotta...

01:24:53.000 There is a certain amount of subjective decision-making that's going to be involved in fights, but I think...

01:25:00.000 If the score was based on the actual damage that was done, you'd have to figure out what it's worth though.

01:25:06.000 What's it worth to have someone's back?

01:25:07.000 What's it worth to mount someone?

01:25:09.000 But I don't think it's a bad thing to figure that out.

01:25:11.000 I think it would be worth a lot for the sport to get outside of this boxing system.

01:25:15.000 Isn't damage subjective, too, though?

01:25:17.000 Yes, totally.

01:25:18.000 Because one hit from, you know, I mean, you could hit me and Brian both the same way, and it's gonna hurt us a different way.

01:25:23.000 Absolutely.

01:25:24.000 And how's that counted the same way?

01:25:25.000 Yeah.

01:25:26.000 And some guys can take a shot way better than other guys can.

01:25:29.000 In the same shot, like, you hit Mark Hunt with it, and he'll eat it and smile at you.

01:25:33.000 And the same shot, you hit another guy with it, and his legs go out, and he's done.

01:25:38.000 Yeah, it's hard to say.

01:25:40.000 But you base it on how hurt the guy was, what the impact was, how clear the impact was.

01:25:48.000 There'd be a lot of factors.

01:25:49.000 There's a lot of factors that would play in when you would deal with scoring a fight.

01:25:55.000 But it's got to be way better than what they're doing right now.

01:25:59.000 What they're doing right now is just terrible.

01:26:01.000 There's so many fights like Ramsey Nijim.

01:26:06.000 Nijim. 1.00

01:26:07.000 He hates when I say Nijim. 0.99

01:26:08.000 I always fuck it up. 0.99

01:26:09.000 Ramsey Nijim. 0.99

01:26:09.000 He got robbed in his last fight. 0.99

01:26:11.000 The gentleman who he fought, I forget his name.

01:26:15.000 Doesn't matter.

01:26:15.000 But I thought Ramsey clearly won the fight and they gave it to the other dude.

01:26:19.000 And I was like, that's bullshit. 0.98

01:26:20.000 That guy did what he was supposed to do, won the fight, and he didn't win the fight. 0.99

01:26:25.000 Why?

01:26:26.000 Because the judges were incompetent. 1.00

01:26:27.000 Everybody ringside that was with me, cage side, Joe Silva, Sean Shelby, rather, we were looking at each other, shaking our head like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:26:36.000 You know, Dana was shaking his head. 1.00

01:26:37.000 A lot of people were shaking their head like, this is ridiculous. 1.00

01:26:39.000 How the fuck did this happen? 1.00

01:26:41.000 This is terrible. 1.00

01:26:41.000 This is a goddamn terrible decision. 1.00

01:26:43.000 There was another one recently where Dana was on record talking about it. 1.00

01:26:48.000 There was a big...

01:26:49.000 Oh, Michael Johnson.

01:26:51.000 Michael Johnson and Benil Dariush.

01:26:53.000 A lot of people thought Michael Johnson won that fight.

01:26:55.000 I thought it was a little closer than a lot of people were thinking.

01:26:58.000 I thought Dariush did a lot of stuff that, for whatever reason, people weren't giving him credit for, but I still thought Johnson... 0.94

01:27:04.000 It was real fucking close.

01:27:06.000 I thought Johnson probably got the nod. 0.91

01:27:08.000 I'd have to go over it again with a sound off, maybe, and...

01:27:10.000 Really trying to analyze it point by point, but a lot of people were pissed.

01:27:14.000 A lot of people who watched it live were really pissed.

01:27:18.000 It would be cool in the future if the technology would be there to be able to accurately find out how strong each punch is.

01:27:26.000 It's almost like you could wear a bracelet that can detect that almost in the future or something like that.

01:27:31.000 Right, like really detect the amount of damage you've sustained.

01:27:34.000 Like the video game.

01:27:35.000 Right.

01:27:35.000 It's like one big punch is worth like three or four weak ones.

01:27:40.000 You know, like bing, bing, bing, or boom.

01:27:42.000 Right.

01:27:42.000 Yeah.

01:27:42.000 And it's all done by pressure and vibration of the actual hit or something.

01:27:47.000 I think also the idea of having three judges is not necessary.

01:27:50.000 I think they should have more than three judges.

01:27:52.000 Why not?

01:27:52.000 Because I think they would probably, if you got five experts, and it's not hard to find judges.

01:27:57.000 You could go on the underground.

01:27:58.000 You can go on mixedmartialarts.com and find...

01:28:01.000 100 people that are way more competent than anybody's working today, or as competent as the best people working today.

01:28:06.000 I really stand by that.

01:28:08.000 I really think fans, like really big-time fans, they probably know more about MMA than most referees, or most judges, rather. 0.96

01:28:16.000 Because most judges, I think there's a good percentage of them that really don't even give a fuck about the sport. 0.77

01:28:20.000 It's just they're doing it. 0.84

01:28:21.000 Some of them are fans of the sport.

01:28:23.000 But some of them definitely aren't.

01:28:25.000 So I think that, having more judges would be good, and I think another thing that would be good is allowing the people at home to vote.

01:28:32.000 Allowing them to vote online.

01:28:33.000 So maybe draws would be broken up by the online score.

01:28:37.000 Absolutely.

01:28:38.000 It's not a bad idea.

01:28:39.000 They should totally be more interactive.

01:28:40.000 Why not?

01:28:41.000 The technology is there, and that would make more sense than...

01:28:43.000 Do you know how dope that would be?

01:28:44.000 Oh, yeah.

01:28:45.000 If they went, okay, we're gonna go to the internet, you know, it's a draw, so we're gonna go to the internet.

01:28:50.000 Or just have a score based on internet and a score based on reality.

01:28:54.000 So the internet score I won by a landslide, but...

01:28:57.000 It gets really biased that way.

01:28:59.000 Of course it does.

01:29:00.000 It's part of the fight.

01:29:02.000 All-star games get ruined in some sports because of those fans-can-vote stuff.

01:29:06.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:07.000 Like baseball.

01:29:08.000 The whole American League would be one team this year.

01:29:10.000 You're right.

01:29:10.000 I take it back.

01:29:12.000 Take it back.

01:29:13.000 Plus, there's some fighters that people hate.

01:29:14.000 Everybody hates.

01:29:16.000 They like to hate him, too. 0.97

01:29:17.000 They're like, funk, that guy's too cocky.

01:29:19.000 There's a lot of people that would try to vote against Conor McGregor just because he's doing too well. 0.80

01:29:25.000 I'm hoping that guy falls on his face.

01:29:27.000 If you're up in the third round in this scenario where you can score that way, and you're up, I don't know, 35 to 15, and you kind of just stop because you're up, how do you prevent that?

01:29:37.000 Or can you not?

01:29:38.000 Or is that just a problem you deal with?

01:29:39.000 You can't.

01:29:39.000 I mean, that's just part of the game, but the guy who's down, it's his job to go after you now and try to score and win, try to knock you out, try to stop the fight.

01:29:48.000 Sometimes we're a guy, we all know this, where a guy's going into the third round and he got his ass kicked the first two rounds and his corner says, you've got to stop him.

01:29:57.000 You've got to finish this fight. 0.95

01:29:58.000 He knows it.

01:29:59.000 He knows it and the other guy knows it too. 0.98

01:30:01.000 If someone has clearly won two rounds in a row, all you have to do is fucking dance around in that third round. 0.97

01:30:07.000 And guys have done that before, and it wound up fucking them over. 0.97

01:30:12.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:30:13.000 I think the system sucks. 0.97

01:30:14.000 The system is terrible, but Hardonk's idea is the best I've ever heard. 0.98

01:30:18.000 Doc Hamilton, who's a very good judge and a long-time martial arts practitioner, he had a good system, and his system was a half-point system.

01:30:28.000 His system was instead of 10 points, you could use half-points too.

01:30:32.000 So like in cases where it's like real close, you could say, well, that guy won, but he only won by half a point.

01:30:36.000 Or he won by a point, where it's really clear. 0.99

01:30:40.000 Or he won by two points, if he's really got his ass kicked. 0.97

01:30:43.000 Like, utilize the point system and make it a bit more obvious that there's a gap. 0.98

01:30:47.000 And that'll, accumulative, that'll add up towards the end of a third round.

01:30:52.000 You would be able to add that.

01:30:53.000 Like, well, the first round, he won by half a point.

01:30:56.000 But the second round, he won by two points.

01:30:57.000 And then it would all, like, it would show up better.

01:31:00.000 I just think the ten-point system, as they use it right now...

01:31:03.000 Really is lame.

01:31:04.000 And it comes from boxing.

01:31:06.000 It's not a good system for MMA. It's a good system for boxing.

01:31:09.000 Right, because boxing is pretty much boxing.

01:31:12.000 MMA has so many different kinds of scoring.

01:31:15.000 You could be on the ground and being choked out the whole entire round, and that has to mean something.

01:31:20.000 Yep.

01:31:20.000 Yeah, and it's also, like, who decides?

01:31:23.000 Like, say if you beat a guy upstanding, you beat him up for, like, the first minute, hit him with a ton of punches, but then he takes you down and gets on top of you for four minutes, but doesn't do anything.

01:31:34.000 Hits you with, like, a few pity-pat punches, but most of the time you defend yourself.

01:31:37.000 A lot of times people will think that that guy who was on the bottom Getting hit with the pitty-pat punches by the guy who's on top of him lost the round, even though he beat the shit out of that guy for the first minute. 0.90

01:31:47.000 Like, he did way more damage.

01:31:49.000 That first minute, that guy's cut, he's beat up, his eye swelling, he got hit with bombs, but he survived enough to get the takedown, and then because he was on top for more time, people would give him that round. 0.99

01:32:01.000 So it's goofy as fuck, man. 0.98

01:32:02.000 It's really hard to figure out how to do a better job of scoring it. 0.99

01:32:07.000 But I think that Hardock has the best idea I've ever heard.

01:32:10.000 And I'm going to have him on the podcast someday, someday soon, because he's out here.

01:32:14.000 He's out near Woodland Hills.

01:32:16.000 So I'm going to have him on soon and have him talk about it and talk about training and stuff like that too.

01:32:21.000 But I think his system is way better. 0.85

01:32:23.000 Here's something I wanted to bring up because it's pretty fucking crazy.

01:32:26.000 There was a new study that was out in Reset Me, Amber Lyon's company. 0.99

01:32:33.000 She, by the way, has become a complete drug addict. 0.97

01:32:36.000 Are you serious? 0.99

01:32:37.000 She's a total drudgy now. 1.00

01:32:39.000 Just kidding.

01:32:40.000 That's hilarious.

01:32:40.000 I'm kidding.

01:32:41.000 I mean that in the nicest way.

01:32:42.000 Amber, call me.

01:32:43.000 She's a... 0.94

01:32:44.000 Call him. 1.00

01:32:45.000 He's got the shit. 1.00

01:32:46.000 She's become like a complete psychedelic head. 1.00

01:32:49.000 That's all she does.

01:32:50.000 She's just traveled around the world doing psychedelics.

01:32:53.000 But she wrote this...

01:32:54.000 She's got this new website.

01:32:56.000 It's called Reset.me.

01:32:59.000 Obviously to sort of signify the the profound effects of psychedelics and that's the the name of the The website and what many people think that psychedelics do and so this guy professor David nut had this that's his name,

01:33:18.000 too Not as funny as hard on but it's pretty close and Both thick guys?

01:33:23.000 So we had a three-day conference.

01:33:24.000 It's called Breaking Convention that's held in London.

01:33:27.000 And basically what they're saying, it's to explore the benefits of psychedelics, but they're saying that psilocybin switches off part of the brain that causes depression, which is insane.

01:33:39.000 That's amazing.

01:33:40.000 Like, go to that story.

01:33:41.000 Yeah, it was just, I don't know how to...

01:33:45.000 So, you know, there's all these problems that they have with trying to legalize different things that are beneficial, like legalizing for soldiers, people with PTSD. But they found a lot of different drugs that can help people that have been through traumatic situations.

01:34:02.000 Psilocybin is one of them.

01:34:03.000 MDMA is a big one.

01:34:06.000 MDMA apparently has profound effects for people who have seen horrific things and Profound in the fact that it lets them change their perspective on it and literally change their memory changed what it means to them to have had this experience and allows forgiveness in a way that's like really unprecedented so This guy,

01:34:29.000 Professor Nutt, it's a really interesting article.

01:34:31.000 There's a lot of different talk about psychedelics in it, but about the potential for drugs like psilocybin, LSD, and cannabis too.

01:34:41.000 And that he's talking about how, because these drugs are illegal, patients are suffering, committing suicide, because they're not getting treated for their depressions as pain.

01:34:52.000 Or their pain, rather.

01:34:54.000 It's interesting, because...

01:34:56.000 I think more and more as time's going on, you're seeing these things become mainstream.

01:35:01.000 These subjects become mainstream.

01:35:03.000 The John Hopkins psilocybin study, there's been quite a few different studies that have come out that have shown the benefits of a lot of different drugs to dealing with things that are conventionally, you know, what do they give you for depression?

01:35:18.000 They give you SSRIs or they give you something else, but this is a completely different effect.

01:35:23.000 And that's actually what Ari said.

01:35:25.000 Ari has said that psilocybin was what really helped his depression, helped it in a big way.

01:35:30.000 It's interesting.

01:35:30.000 When I was in Toronto, I allegedly maybe ate some shrooms both nights I was there.

01:35:36.000 Is it illegal to say you ate shrooms?

01:35:38.000 I don't know.

01:35:39.000 Nowadays, they check your Twitter when you're going through the airport.

01:35:43.000 What?

01:35:44.000 Come on.

01:35:45.000 Yeah, every time I go travel now, me and Tony both get put into a room, and then they check your Twitter to see, like, where are you working tonight, huh?

01:35:53.000 Oh, okay, here we go, Tony.

01:35:55.000 Tony actually got caught, allegedly.

01:35:58.000 Doing what?

01:36:00.000 Because I think they recently passed this law where you don't have to do this anymore, but when you work in Canada as a comedian, you have to get a work permit, and that causes the...

01:36:08.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:09.000 But if it's like a really small little show, it's like a lot of places like, ah, just, you know, you're on vacation or whatever, and I think...

01:36:16.000 Who said that?

01:36:17.000 The people that are booking the show?

01:36:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:19.000 They're idiots. 1.00

01:36:19.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

01:36:20.000 You can't do that.

01:36:20.000 We found this out.

01:36:21.000 This is like early on.

01:36:22.000 Eddie Bravo did that, too.

01:36:24.000 Yeah.

01:36:25.000 And so, but Tony said that they just went on his Twitter page and just was like, where are you at?

01:36:31.000 And they grounded him and made him fly back.

01:36:34.000 You should have told him he doesn't have a Twitter. 0.99

01:36:35.000 Was he retarded? 0.99

01:36:36.000 No, they just Googled his name.

01:36:38.000 Oh.

01:36:39.000 So that's one thing that's cool about having a fake last name.

01:36:44.000 But yeah, what were we talking about right before that?

01:36:47.000 Um, mushrooms?

01:36:49.000 Oh yeah.

01:36:49.000 So when I ate mushrooms, this was the first time where I actually never, I didn't eat to try to trip hard.

01:36:54.000 I was just like, you know what?

01:36:55.000 I'm going to take a little bit while I'm at this bar.

01:36:57.000 And so it was just enough that I immediately felt insane amount, like amounts of happiness.

01:37:03.000 And I wasn't like seeing anything or, or like, it wasn't like, like a trippy experience.

01:37:09.000 Uh, but, uh, I know a lot of people that do that thing where you eat a little bit of mushrooms every day.

01:37:15.000 Have you heard about that?

01:37:16.000 Yeah.

01:37:41.000 This small amount that I originally ate made me feel really happy.

01:37:44.000 I was bouncing off the walls.

01:37:46.000 That's a common thing that people do.

01:37:47.000 They microdose and they take it all day.

01:37:49.000 Yeah, it's real common.

01:37:50.000 People do that and it definitely has an interesting effect.

01:37:54.000 I've taken small doses before and it makes you just feel relaxed.

01:37:58.000 It also makes the things that you thought were super important seem so silly.

01:38:02.000 Like, things that were bothering you, you're like, who cares?

01:38:05.000 Like, whatever.

01:38:05.000 Like, you feel, like, if someone was mad at you, and like, God, why is that person mad at me?

01:38:09.000 You take a little microdose of mushrooms, and you're like, I almost feel bad for them being mad at me. 0.92

01:38:15.000 You know, like, people talking shit about you, whereas, like, it would hurt your feelings. 0.98

01:38:19.000 You take a little mushrooms, you're like, feel bad for them. 1.00

01:38:21.000 Like, this person is lashing out in this ridiculous way. 0.55

01:38:25.000 Mushrooms are beautiful, man. 0.98

01:38:26.000 They're so important.

01:38:27.000 It's so gross that they're illegal.

01:38:29.000 It's so bizarre that after all these different years, all these different studies, there's never been one that's shown that it kills people.

01:38:36.000 Never been one that's shown that it causes you to lose your brain or even get diarrhea.

01:38:40.000 I mean, there's just nothing.

01:38:42.000 There's no reason why it should be illegal.

01:38:44.000 There's no glaring health issue.

01:38:48.000 And yet, still, you could go to jail as much as you would go to jail if you had probably more so than heroin, right?

01:38:55.000 Isn't heroin a Schedule 2?

01:38:56.000 We've gone over this before.

01:38:57.000 Yeah.

01:38:57.000 Like marijuana and mushrooms.

01:39:00.000 The Schedule 1s, like a lot of the Schedule 1s are like super beneficial and they're the most illegal.

01:39:05.000 If you look at the Schedule 1 versus Schedule 2 chart, I think Schedule 2 is cocaine because they have medical cocaine.

01:39:13.000 It's like the idea of Schedule 1 is no known medical use. 0.70

01:39:17.000 To have marijuana and psilocybin, two of the most beneficial plants of all time, in the no known medical use category, just shows how corrupt these criminals are.

01:39:28.000 Because that's just a lie.

01:39:30.000 Anybody could go to them with a series of links.

01:39:33.000 I can email them.

01:39:34.000 Tell me who it is that's the head of the drug czar guy.

01:39:37.000 I'll email you just a gang of links.

01:39:39.000 You click on those links, and then tell me if you think it's still Schedule 1 after it's over. 0.99

01:39:42.000 And if you do think that, you're a crook.

01:39:45.000 I think the only difference between a cocaine or a psychedelic is that it will speed up schizophrenia and crazy people, and then we'll just have way too much crazy people in this world if mushrooms were illegal. 0.75

01:39:55.000 Yeah, maybe.

01:39:56.000 Or maybe they're gonna be crazy anyway.

01:39:58.000 I mean, there is an argument for that.

01:40:00.000 There's a certain amount of people.

01:40:01.000 That was in the culture high, where they talked about it accelerating psychosis and paranoia and all the different issues.

01:40:09.000 And they were saying there's no jump.

01:40:11.000 Even though more people are smoking pot than ever, There's no statistical jump in the amount of people that are psychotic.

01:40:17.000 For weed.

01:40:18.000 For weed.

01:40:18.000 But mushrooms, I think, will definitely break you.

01:40:20.000 If you have mild schizophrenia and you're going to get it later in life, you'll probably speed it up by twice.

01:40:26.000 You're not a scientist.

01:40:27.000 I'm Dr. Brian.

01:40:27.000 I don't know if you should be throwing that around.

01:40:29.000 But I do think that pot, if you eat it, is just as likely to do you in.

01:40:32.000 Maybe even more so.

01:40:33.000 Because pot, if you eat it, is not reassuring.

01:40:37.000 There's no sweetness to the overdose when you're eating pot.

01:40:42.000 It's just fear.

01:40:43.000 Fear and death and spiral.

01:40:45.000 I don't know what you trip out about when you take mushrooms.

01:40:50.000 Heart.

01:40:50.000 Not mushrooms.

01:40:51.000 Edible pot.

01:40:52.000 But for me, it's always like mortality.

01:40:54.000 The mortality and the death of friends and people getting sick around you and the body ceasing to work properly. 0.99

01:41:01.000 Especially people that I know like you that smoke cigarettes and shit like that. 0.99

01:41:04.000 I freak out about you when I eat pot. 1.00

01:41:07.000 I do.

01:41:07.000 Because I feel like there's people around me that are poisoning themselves and they don't see it.

01:41:11.000 I'm like, oh Jesus, what is he doing? 1.00

01:41:14.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:41:15.000 The eating pot is, for me, one of the big paranoia inducers of all the different psychedelics and drugs. 1.00

01:41:22.000 Stop doing it.

01:41:22.000 Do you still eat pot?

01:41:23.000 I don't eat pot anymore. 1.00

01:41:24.000 Don't be a pussy. 1.00

01:41:25.000 Get back in there. 1.00

01:41:27.000 The head of the DEA, I'll try to highlight this statement so you can read it.

01:41:31.000 This was like two weeks ago he said this in a report with Conference Call.

01:41:35.000 If you want me to say that marijuana is not dangerous, I'm not going to say that because I think it is.

01:41:39.000 Do I think it's as dangerous as heroin?

01:41:41.000 Probably not.

01:41:42.000 I'm not an expert. 0.99

01:41:43.000 Who's the fucking expert? 0.99

01:41:45.000 It's hilarious. 0.99

01:41:46.000 That's the head of the DEA and he's not an expert. 1.00

01:41:48.000 And he's saying stupid shit that marijuana is dangerous. 1.00

01:41:52.000 I think it is. 1.00

01:41:53.000 You think it's dangerous, Chuck Rosenberg, you fucking dunce? 1.00

01:41:57.000 That's so goofy. 1.00

01:41:58.000 You know it's not dangerous. 0.64

01:41:59.000 You know what's dangerous? 1.00

01:42:00.000 Idiots. 1.00

01:42:01.000 Idiots are dangerous if you give them wiffle ball bats. 1.00

01:42:03.000 If you give them spoons and electrical sockets. 1.00

01:42:06.000 You know, give them a fork and a toaster.

01:42:08.000 They're dangerous. 1.00

01:42:09.000 People are dumb, man. 1.00

01:42:11.000 Heroin is clearly more dangerous than marijuana. 1.00

01:42:13.000 Okay, he said that.

01:42:15.000 Hold on.

01:42:16.000 Then, this week, Rosenberg evolved further. 0.99

01:42:19.000 After a press briefing on Wednesday where people shit in his mouth, he told reporters that heroin is clearly more dangerous than marijuana. 0.98

01:42:27.000 According to Huffington Post, Rosenberg said he still considers marijuana to be harmful and dangerous, but was willing to make a firm distinction between it and other substances. 1.00

01:42:36.000 Well, he's a fool. 0.98

01:42:36.000 You can't say harmful and dangerous unless you have data. 0.98

01:42:40.000 You are a DEA agent.

01:42:42.000 You're the head guy.

01:42:43.000 You should have data.

01:42:45.000 You know, that's the whole idea.

01:42:46.000 Like, can you say that aspirin is dangerous?

01:42:49.000 Yes, you can.

01:42:50.000 You know why? 0.98

01:42:50.000 Because aspirin, regular old aspirin, kills a fuckload of people every year. 0.98

01:42:55.000 A lot. 0.99

01:42:55.000 Thousands. 0.99

01:42:56.000 They die from it.

01:42:57.000 You overdose from aspirin.

01:42:59.000 You take too much aspirin.

01:43:00.000 Okay, let's guess.

01:43:01.000 Let's guess.

01:43:02.000 How many do you think die every year from aspirin?

01:43:05.000 Now that you know that people die from aspirin.

01:43:07.000 Right.

01:43:07.000 I'd probably say 70,000 people.

01:43:12.000 30,000 people a year.

01:43:13.000 Really?

01:43:13.000 I was going to say a few hundred.

01:43:15.000 Well, no, I'm just thinking that a lot of people have aspirin, and that's probably something that people try to overdose to kill themselves on.

01:43:21.000 I know aspirin also saves people's lives, because that's what you're supposed to take if you're feeling like you're going to have a heart attack.

01:43:27.000 And also, they say, is a preventative measure.

01:43:29.000 Taking a little bit of aspirin.

01:43:30.000 Because aspirin is an anti-inflammatory.

01:43:35.000 The big issue with health, or one of the big issues, I should say, is inflammation.

01:43:39.000 It's a big causer of a lot of different diseases.

01:43:42.000 And that's why they say that if you clean up your diet, your body becomes less inflamed.

01:43:46.000 That's one of the benefits of the cryogenic chamber, too.

01:43:49.000 They think that the cryo treatments provide those cold shock proteins and anti-inflammation responses, and they clean up inflammation inside the body, leading to less disease.

01:44:01.000 That's one of the theories behind it.

01:44:03.000 How long do you do that at a time?

01:44:05.000 Three minutes.

01:44:05.000 Is it like torture three minutes, or it's just like, okay, all right, this is almost too long.

01:44:10.000 It's cold as fuck, dude. 0.97

01:44:12.000 FDA reverses its position on daily aspirin use. 0.99

01:44:15.000 Look at this, man.

01:44:16.000 They used to tell you you need to take aspirin.

01:44:18.000 If you haven't had a heart attack, step away from the aspirin bottle.

01:44:23.000 If you're one of the 40 million Americans who take aspirin every day, wow, 40 million.

01:44:27.000 The FDA says, let's see how many people.

01:44:29.000 If you had to guess, Jamie, how many people do you think died?

01:44:35.000 750. Hmm, okay.

01:44:38.000 I said, what, 40,000?

01:44:39.000 Yeah.

01:44:41.000 Each year.

01:44:42.000 All right, here we go.

01:44:43.000 I'm saying 200. Let's say animal causes.

01:44:46.000 Oh! 0.60

01:44:49.000 15,000?

01:44:50.000 15,000.

01:44:52.000 Oh my god.

01:44:52.000 Look at this.

01:44:53.000 Each year 15,000 people die and 100,000 people are hospitalized as a result of aspirin.

01:45:01.000 And other NSAIDs, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories.

01:45:06.000 Wow.

01:45:08.000 That's insane.

01:45:08.000 Is aspirin where you're not supposed to give kids when they have a fever?

01:45:10.000 Or is that Tylenol?

01:45:11.000 Dude, listen to this.

01:45:13.000 I don't know.

01:45:14.000 But listen to this crazy statistic.

01:45:15.000 Aspirin kills 400% more people than the swine flu.

01:45:20.000 Nearly 100,000 Americans die every year from adverse reactions to FDA-approved prescription drugs.

01:45:30.000 What?

01:45:31.000 That's insane.

01:45:33.000 Did you know that? 1.00

01:45:36.000 Goddamn. 1.00

01:45:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:45:41.000 These numbers are nuts.

01:45:42.000 That's incredible, man.

01:45:44.000 107,000 patients are hospitalized annually for non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, which also includes, by the way, ibuprofen.

01:45:54.000 Ibuprofen is also a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory.

01:45:58.000 That's the period one, right?

01:46:00.000 No, no, it's ibuprofen, Advil.

01:46:02.000 Headache stuff.

01:46:03.000 Oh.

01:46:04.000 Advil's the best.

01:46:05.000 It's the best for headaches and anything like muscle aches, torn muscles or anything.

01:46:09.000 Why do you like Advil?

01:46:11.000 Because it's ibuprofen.

01:46:11.000 I was always a Tylenol guy.

01:46:12.000 It's ibuprofen.

01:46:14.000 Tylenol sort of like, I think, if I had to guess, I think dulls the pain more, whereas ibuprofen gets the source of the pain more, which is inflammation.

01:46:24.000 But most athletes prefer ibuprofen.

01:46:27.000 I think it has like less risk factors too. 0.95

01:46:30.000 But apparently a lot of people get fucked up by anti-inflammatories. 0.96

01:46:34.000 I just can't believe it's that high. 0.99

01:46:35.000 The numbers are nuts, man.

01:46:37.000 Swine flu is safer than aspirin.

01:46:42.000 16,500 non-steroidal anti-inflammatory deaths occur among patients with rheumatoid arthritis or osteoarthritis each year in the United States.

01:46:53.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:46:54.000 That's a nutty number, man.

01:46:57.000 16,500 deaths from anti-inflammatory pills, from ibuprofen and aspirin.

01:47:06.000 Wow, so those drugs are 1,000% more deadly than swine flu.

01:47:11.000 This accidental death, does it say that?

01:47:13.000 Like, does anyone use it to commit suicide?

01:47:15.000 People definitely use it to commit suicide, but it's hard.

01:47:17.000 That's all bad suicide, apparently.

01:47:19.000 That's a rough one.

01:47:20.000 It takes a long time to end, too.

01:47:22.000 My headache's gone.

01:47:23.000 I feel great.

01:47:24.000 I feel too good.

01:47:25.000 What do you think is the number one method of suicide?

01:47:29.000 Overdose, right?

01:47:30.000 Definitely.

01:47:31.000 Or cutting.

01:47:32.000 Cutting? 0.99

01:47:33.000 Like cutting your neck? 0.54

01:47:33.000 I mean, I know girls that cut and they're not even trying to kill themselves. 0.54

01:47:36.000 So I would imagine cutting. 1.00

01:47:37.000 Just cut after they fuck you. 1.00

01:47:39.000 They're like, what am I doing? 1.00

01:47:40.000 Let me cut something off.

01:47:40.000 Have you known a lot of cutters?

01:47:41.000 It's weird how many cutters are out in Los Angeles.

01:47:44.000 There's not that many cutters.

01:47:44.000 It's all the girls you're dating.

01:47:45.000 It's the pool you're drawing from. 1.00

01:47:48.000 Most guys are like, what the fuck is he talking about? 0.98

01:47:50.000 People are listening to this right now going, dude, most people don't cut themselves. 0.99

01:47:54.000 Most people don't cut themselves, Brian.

01:47:56.000 Have you seen that new 3D projector display?

01:48:00.000 It's one of the most...

01:48:01.000 No, change the subject.

01:48:02.000 Talking about people dying.

01:48:04.000 Before we get into that, I just really wanted to...

01:48:06.000 What do you think the number one method for suicide is?

01:48:09.000 If you had a guess.

01:48:10.000 Cutting.

01:48:11.000 Cutting. 0.91

01:48:12.000 Like cutting wrists? 0.79

01:48:14.000 Really? 0.97

01:48:14.000 Cutting throat? 0.97

01:48:15.000 Jumping off something, probably. 0.71

01:48:16.000 Jumping off something.

01:48:17.000 I'm gonna say overdose.

01:48:18.000 I say overdose, but gunshots gotta be in there somewhere, right?

01:48:21.000 Alright, let's Google number one method of suicide.

01:48:26.000 Number one. 0.98

01:48:27.000 Death by chocolate.

01:48:30.000 No, it's funny when you write number one method in Google, homicide comes up first.

01:48:38.000 Homicide.

01:48:39.000 That's what the Google suggestion, to fill in the blank.

01:48:42.000 Number one method of homicide.

01:48:43.000 How many people just Google that? 1.00

01:48:45.000 Because they fucking hate their wife, and they hate their husband. 1.00

01:48:48.000 And they're like, fucking piece of shit, what's the best method? 1.00

01:48:50.000 Or that's your own personal cash, Joe. 1.00

01:48:52.000 No, it's not.

01:48:53.000 Yeah, because I have different things.

01:48:55.000 When I type in stuff, different things come up than you.

01:48:58.000 Your stuff.

01:48:59.000 Please.

01:48:59.000 In Google, if you've never Googled that before, I've never Googled that before.

01:49:02.000 Wait, what did you type in?

01:49:03.000 Number one method of...

01:49:05.000 Number one method of...

01:49:09.000 Yeah, that's just how I'm going to say it.

01:49:10.000 Yeah, see? 1.00

01:49:11.000 Fuck off. 1.00

01:49:11.000 Did you know, though, if you're logged in, though, sometimes it comes up different? 1.00

01:49:15.000 Because I said something like...

01:49:16.000 Dude, we're wrong.

01:49:17.000 We're way wrong.

01:49:18.000 What?

01:49:18.000 We're really wrong.

01:49:19.000 Number one is firearm.

01:49:21.000 So he's shooting.

01:49:22.000 50%.

01:49:23.000 That makes sense.

01:49:24.000 50% they shoot themselves.

01:49:25.000 24% they hang themselves or suffocate.

01:49:29.000 Poisoning, which I thought was number one, is only 16%. 0.99

01:49:32.000 Jumping off shit, Jamie thought, 2.3%. 0.99

01:49:35.000 Cut, 1%. 1.00

01:49:37.000 1.8%.

01:49:39.000 Drowning is 1.1%.

01:49:43.000 Fire!

01:49:45.000 Is 0.4%.

01:49:47.000 Ooh.

01:49:47.000 Who would do that?

01:49:48.000 That's crazy.

01:49:50.000 Transporter related.

01:49:51.000 That means you jump in front of a truck.

01:49:53.000 Oh.

01:49:54.000 Transporter.

01:49:55.000 What a weird euphemism.

01:49:58.000 Transporter related.

01:49:59.000 That's 0.4%.

01:50:00.000 I'm gonna die by transporting.

01:50:03.000 Yeah, how weird, man.

01:50:05.000 Firearms.

01:50:05.000 50. That's America, though.

01:50:07.000 That's America.

01:50:08.000 That's how we do.

01:50:10.000 When in doubt, take it out.

01:50:14.000 It's a scary way to die.

01:50:16.000 Knowing that you're gonna pull that trigger and it's all gonna go blank.

01:50:20.000 But I've known more than one person that's done it.

01:50:23.000 In my lifetime, I've known several people that have killed themselves with guns.

01:50:29.000 The weird article is like when someone does something like that, they go, you know, we need to change the gun laws.

01:50:35.000 What?

01:50:36.000 Like when someone kills someone with a gun, we need to change gun laws.

01:50:39.000 Well, I guess it's kind of easier to kill someone if you have a gun, but if somebody wants to kill you, it's because they want to kill you.

01:50:44.000 It's not because they have a gun. 0.99

01:50:46.000 It's not like you have a gun and go, I'm thinking about fucking killing somebody now that I got this gun. 1.00

01:50:50.000 No, you only use a gun to kill somebody because you want to kill them. 0.99

01:50:54.000 Unless it's an accidental gun shooting and then you're dealing with a totally different situation.

01:50:58.000 But the idea that giving someone a gun makes them more likely to kill people, I'm not sure if I buy that.

01:51:06.000 When the LA riots were going on, a lot of people had their own personal firearms, and this guy I know, he said he had to go on the roof of his apartment with a gun because they were trying to break into his house and stuff like that, and he actually had to shoot somebody.

01:51:21.000 He shot somebody?

01:51:22.000 Yeah, in the arm or something like that, I think he said.

01:51:26.000 Who is this guy?

01:51:27.000 I don't want to say. 0.97

01:51:28.000 He might be a bullshitter. 0.95

01:51:29.000 I can tell you off air. 0.97

01:51:30.000 Is he a bullshitter?

01:51:31.000 No, no, absolutely not.

01:51:32.000 Occasionally?

01:51:33.000 Never.

01:51:34.000 Yeah?

01:51:35.000 No. 1.00

01:51:35.000 What's his dick taste like? 1.00

01:51:39.000 Uh... 1.00

01:51:39.000 Popcorn. 1.00

01:51:40.000 Your poop. 0.98

01:51:46.000 I think that Anthony Bourdain covered that on one of his shows. 0.99

01:51:50.000 The riots in Koreatown where the Koreans had to arm themselves and get on top of their buildings because all the cops were in Beverly Hills. 1.00

01:51:59.000 Remember that shit? 0.99

01:52:00.000 Koreatown just sort of got ransacked. 1.00

01:52:02.000 And these guys were on top of their roofs with rifles.

01:52:04.000 They were getting in trouble for having guns out.

01:52:07.000 But if you look, there was like this giant wall of cars that guarded Beverly Hills. 0.99

01:52:12.000 It was really kind of fucked up and racist and creepy. 0.98

01:52:16.000 That was a creepy moment. 0.99

01:52:17.000 The way the police shielded parts of Los Angeles for the riots and didn't do anything to protect other parts.

01:52:24.000 And obviously they were given mandates.

01:52:27.000 Obviously there was someone that was telling them what they're supposed to do and not supposed to do.

01:52:31.000 But the weird choice was to just so openly and clearly defend wealthy people.

01:52:37.000 There's a lot to lose in the wealthy people's houses worth millions and billions of dollars and a lot of, you know, histories.

01:52:44.000 Yeah, but so the poor people and their stores aren't worth as much?

01:52:47.000 Yeah, but their PlayStation 2 can get replaced easier than like a painting that was made by Da Vinci.

01:52:52.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:52:53.000 You're not looking at it right.

01:52:55.000 They're talking about businesses.

01:52:56.000 These people were on businesses.

01:52:58.000 Like these businesses probably got a million dollars worth of merchandise.

01:53:01.000 And their business is getting broken into.

01:53:04.000 It's really not that much different than a rich person's house.

01:53:07.000 It's just the fact that it's a business in Koreatown.

01:53:11.000 That riot was in the new NWA movie.

01:53:14.000 It was cool seeing them remake that riot.

01:53:17.000 Yeah.

01:53:18.000 There's an article about...

01:53:21.000 Art Thiefs.

01:53:23.000 Did you read that today?

01:53:26.000 It was out today?

01:53:26.000 About how few works of art ever get recovered when there's art theft.

01:53:32.000 It's really interesting.

01:53:34.000 When I lived in Boston about 25 years ago, there was this big art...

01:53:41.000 Big stolen art event where these people broke into the...

01:53:45.000 I think it was...

01:53:45.000 I don't remember which...

01:53:46.000 I want to say the Getty, but I know I'm wrong.

01:53:48.000 It's not the Getty Museum.

01:53:49.000 There was a...

01:53:50.000 Huntington?

01:53:51.000 No, no, no.

01:53:51.000 There was a museum in Boston.

01:53:53.000 And it was a big-time museum.

01:53:54.000 And these guys broke into it 25 years ago and stole a shitload of Rembrandts.

01:54:00.000 And, like, here it is.

01:54:03.000 What is it?

01:54:03.000 Two suspects?

01:54:04.000 This is what you're talking about, I guess.

01:54:06.000 25 years ago, these guys are dead now, though.

01:54:07.000 They are?

01:54:08.000 When did this come out?

01:54:09.000 Just recently.

01:54:11.000 This article is recently?

01:54:12.000 August 7th.

01:54:14.000 Huh.

01:54:14.000 The two men suspected of masquerading as police officers to rob an art museum of $500 million worth of masterpieces in 1990 are dead, the FBI say.

01:54:22.000 Two years ago, investigators announced they knew who stole 13 works, including paintings by Rembrandt and Vermeer.

01:54:29.000 I don't know who that dude is.

01:54:30.000 From Boston's Isabella Stewart, the Gardner Museum.

01:54:33.000 That's what it is.

01:54:34.000 But they refused to elaborate, saying only the investigation was focused on recovering the artwork.

01:54:40.000 So the suspects are dead, but it's interesting, $500 million worth of art, and no one's ever recovered the art.

01:54:49.000 So someone's got the art.

01:54:50.000 Do you think it's just like North Korea?

01:54:52.000 Like they just have like a bunch of galleries like yes, we have all the most famous American paintings and stuff.

01:54:58.000 You know what I mean?

01:54:58.000 No, I think it's rich people.

01:55:00.000 I think it's really really rich people that don't give a fuck where that art came from. 0.98

01:55:03.000 They have a private collection and they walk by it and they laugh. 0.98

01:55:07.000 You know that they bought a Rembrandt, that they have a Picasso. 0.99

01:55:10.000 But I think that it's dangerous for them because if they get caught, they know what that fucking thing is. 0.95

01:55:16.000 It's like if you have a Rembrandt on your wall, I don't know about you, but me, I would have no idea what it is. 0.98

01:55:21.000 Someone would have to tell me.

01:55:23.000 But if someone is a serious art collector, enough that they're willing to spend millions of dollars on a painting, they're going to know exactly what that thing is.

01:55:30.000 But people are creepy, man.

01:55:32.000 People that are collectors, like collectors of things, people get real creepy about real specifics, like they want a Picasso, they have a Rembrandt, they have a this guy, a that guy, and they need a Picasso, I need a Picasso, but nothing is on the market.

01:55:45.000 And then some guy comes up to you and says, I know something that's about to go on the market, and you know, right now it is in a collection.

01:55:54.000 That is public, and it will no longer be public.

01:55:57.000 And someone will own it, and it could be you.

01:55:59.000 Would you be interested in this?

01:56:00.000 And you're like, well, what are we talking here?

01:56:02.000 What are we saying?

01:56:03.000 Well, we'll show you a photograph, and they'll show you what it is.

01:56:07.000 And the guy goes, well, maybe.

01:56:09.000 What are we talking here?

01:56:10.000 Well, we're talking about $2 million.

01:56:12.000 Oh, okay.

01:56:13.000 I think we could work something out.

01:56:14.000 And then they have to figure out how to exchange money where it doesn't get traced.

01:56:18.000 Yeah, and then have it looked at and appraised to make sure it's real.

01:56:21.000 I mean, that's...

01:56:22.000 That's tough, that whole black market thing.

01:56:24.000 Well, people have been busted doing that.

01:56:26.000 They've been busted doing that with statues.

01:56:28.000 There was a Roman statue that they brought this guy in.

01:56:31.000 Brian Callen told me the story, and then I went and listened to it on something else, where this guy had this statue, and they had spent so much money appraising it, and they bought it, and they brought in this expert, and the expert literally looked at it for a few minutes and goes,

01:56:47.000 can you get your money back?

01:56:49.000 And he's like, what are you talking about?

01:56:50.000 He goes, can you get your money back?

01:56:51.000 This is fake.

01:56:52.000 You need to get your money back.

01:56:53.000 He's like, what?

01:56:54.000 And apparently he had bought it from a legitimate source, but the legitimate source had been swindled. 0.99

01:56:59.000 It's like, they can figure out a way to actually add mold to shit, to make it look super old. 0.98

01:57:05.000 They bury things underground and add mold to them. 0.99

01:57:09.000 Like, they figure out a way to have...

01:57:11.000 Because if you can find something, like, um...

01:57:15.000 Something that's really old like that.

01:57:17.000 Somebody gave me a coin.

01:57:18.000 Mark Gordon gave me a coin.

01:57:20.000 It's an 1800-year-old coin from Rome.

01:57:23.000 But there's a fuckload of them.

01:57:24.000 They made a bunch of them.

01:57:26.000 This guy, whoever the guy was at the time, had a shitload of his coins made.

01:57:32.000 You can get a hold of them.

01:57:33.000 They're not cheap, but you can get them.

01:57:35.000 But a statue from back then...

01:57:37.000 Just a really complex, well-worked piece of sculpture is probably worth insane amounts of money.

01:57:44.000 If there's only one of them and it's 1,800 years old, 2,000 years old, it's probably worth millions of dollars.

01:57:51.000 So if someone could sit around and figure out how to fake it...

01:57:53.000 So you make one, you make it real close, then you slowly chip away at it and add to it and then figure out a way to simulate erosion and then figure out a way to get this mold in it.

01:58:07.000 And this mold was apparently the right mold for the area.

01:58:10.000 So it had a lot of people fooled.

01:58:12.000 But this one art expert just looked at it and was like, this is not right.

01:58:16.000 This is not real.

01:58:17.000 Like he just knew.

01:58:19.000 He could just tell.

01:58:19.000 Because he'd just seen so many of them.

01:58:22.000 Whereas most people, I mean, if you're a guy whose, your expertise is in appraising ancient statues, you develop a finely honed sense of what an ancient statue looks like. 0.91

01:58:32.000 So for him, it was like really obvious, like right away, like the hue is off, something's off, this can't be real, holy shit, you gotta get your money back quick.

01:58:41.000 Whereas, you know, you or I would be like, whoa dude, it's like 3,000 years old.

01:58:45.000 I heard it's 5,000 years old. 1.00

01:58:46.000 We'd both be retarded and fucking staring at the stupid thing. 1.00

01:58:49.000 Meanwhile, Mike from Calabasas made it. 1.00

01:58:51.000 Fat Jew made it. 1.00

01:58:52.000 Fat Jew made it. 1.00

01:58:53.000 He doesn't make anything, does he? 0.97

01:58:54.000 What is this?

01:58:55.000 That movie documentary Tim's Vermeer that Vermeer just came up on here and it made me think of it.

01:59:00.000 Someone, I don't remember which guest brought it up, but this is a really, really great documentary Penn Jillette made about this millionaire guy.

01:59:08.000 He actually runs the company that makes the New Tech TriCaster we use here.

01:59:13.000 Mm-hmm.

01:59:14.000 He figured out this really long process of how to recreate.

01:59:17.000 He made a forgery, but no one knew how to make the forgery.

01:59:20.000 And he spent years figuring out how this guy Vermeer actually was making these photorealistic paintings and then figured out how to do it himself and was making paintings like a factory almost that were indecipherable from actual Vermeers.

01:59:36.000 Indistinguishable?

01:59:36.000 Yeah.

01:59:37.000 Wow, that's amazing.

01:59:38.000 It's a really cool documentary, really worth checking out.

01:59:41.000 I heard good things about this.

01:59:44.000 It's awesome.

01:59:45.000 I'd like to watch it again just to get inspired at the amount of work this guy put in. 0.97

01:59:51.000 Anytime Penn Jillette gets involved in something, it's always gonna kick ass. 0.95

01:59:54.000 He's a smart dude. 0.90

01:59:55.000 He looks weird now, though.

01:59:56.000 He's lost a lot of weight.

01:59:57.000 I never say that it's bad for someone to be healthy, but he's unhealthy for so long, you kind of recognize him as being this big fat guy, and now all of a sudden he's like super thin.

02:00:07.000 It's actually Norton is like really thin right now.

02:00:09.000 It's really weird seeing...

02:00:10.000 Norton looks great. 0.99

02:00:10.000 Norton's healthy as fuck. 0.99

02:00:11.000 He's healthiest. 0.99

02:00:12.000 He texted me the other day about cryo chambers.

02:00:15.000 He wants to start freezing.

02:00:17.000 I sent you guys a link, a new 3D display that doesn't require glasses.

02:00:22.000 We've talked about in the past a lot of what would be so cool is not 3D TVs, but not having to wear glasses and watch a TV and stuff.

02:00:31.000 And Gizmodo actually had a pretty good article using Cara Santa Maria as an example of the 3D technology.

02:00:39.000 And it's using a whole bunch of different projectors and screens, but I guess it's really realistic.

02:00:45.000 Like if you're staring at and you walk around her, it looks like her standing right in front of you.

02:00:51.000 And they have a...

02:00:52.000 Wow, so it's a hologram.

02:00:54.000 It kind of is a hologram, but I think they're...

02:00:56.000 Go full screen on that, young Jamie.

02:01:00.000 So that's a fake dude or a real dude?

02:01:02.000 No, this is a real dude.

02:01:03.000 This is how they make it.

02:01:06.000 Those are all cameras around him, I believe, or lights.

02:01:10.000 It said 30 cameras.

02:01:11.000 So those are just lights.

02:01:12.000 So the 30 cameras are capturing 30 different images.

02:01:16.000 There's three rows of 10 images.

02:01:18.000 So they're recording all of him in all the different angles.

02:01:22.000 It's Morgan Spurlock.

02:01:24.000 That's the Super Size Me guy.

02:01:26.000 And so they're recording him moving in all sorts of different ways.

02:01:32.000 And then what do they do with it?

02:01:35.000 See, now this is, I think, showing what they're filming.

02:01:40.000 Like if you were to walk around.

02:01:44.000 Wow.

02:01:45.000 And then...

02:01:48.000 So, they can take this, what we're looking at, and somehow or another project it in front of you like a hologram, right?

02:01:54.000 Yeah.

02:01:54.000 So like that magic leap technology sort of a thing?

02:01:57.000 Kind of.

02:01:58.000 Hold on, let's see.

02:01:59.000 Let's turn this up a little so we can hear what's going on.

02:02:02.000 6,000 LED lights and 50 high-definition cameras.

02:02:07.000 After they captured all this data, they put it together to make a 3D model of me, and then they were able to project that onto the screen as you see me now.

02:02:19.000 Wow.

02:02:20.000 So it looks like it is a screen, but it's a 3D screen.

02:02:23.000 So if you were to stare at it, you'd be able to walk to the side, to the left, to the right.

02:02:27.000 They had this guy who's a Holocaust survivor.

02:02:30.000 Imagine going through the Holocaust all the way to 2015, and they turned you into a crazy 3D animated thing. 0.96

02:02:39.000 What series of generational jumps that guys pass through. 0.69

02:02:44.000 Just think how cool it's going to be when this gets a little bit better in the future, like the Hall of Presidents at Disneyland, you know, and stuff like that, where you're actually, holy shit, Abraham Lincoln's sitting right in front of me.

02:02:55.000 Yeah, you're gonna get real holographs, real holograms, rather, that are just...

02:03:00.000 You'll probably be shocked when your hand goes through them.

02:03:03.000 And they're gonna get to a point, especially if this magic leap is in any way indicative of what it's gonna really look like when it's done.

02:03:09.000 Because right now you're looking at it and it's like...

02:03:12.000 How much of that is proof of concept?

02:03:13.000 How much of that is the actual video of Magic Leap?

02:03:16.000 If you don't know what Magic Leap is, Google it.

02:03:18.000 It's a wild new hologram thing that they're doing where they have like an elephant dancing inside a person's palm.

02:03:28.000 A little ballerina that was on a girl's bed.

02:03:31.000 It was like a four-inch ballerina.

02:03:33.000 But I don't know.

02:03:33.000 Do you know?

02:03:34.000 Like, how much of that is real?

02:03:35.000 That was all demo.

02:03:37.000 Like, I think that's not real.

02:03:38.000 I think that's just saying what in the future it's going to look like.

02:03:40.000 What it will look like.

02:03:41.000 I think I remember reading, someone has tried it, but he had to be very careful about what he was allowed to say he actually experienced.

02:03:47.000 He had a very, very rudimentary, very early version of it.

02:03:51.000 It's a giant football helmet-sized thing he had to wear.

02:03:54.000 It was projecting things in front of his eyes on it to us.

02:03:57.000 Screen-like thing.

02:03:59.000 But they're doing something called light field augmentation.

02:04:04.000 It's like brand new technology that no one else has used.

02:04:08.000 We can't compare it to anything.

02:04:09.000 I wonder how they're projecting it.

02:04:11.000 So right now he's got to wear this helmet thing.

02:04:14.000 And then eventually they'll break it down to like a Google Glass type size.

02:04:17.000 Or sunglasses or something like that.

02:04:19.000 But I wonder how they're projecting it in front of you.

02:04:22.000 Is it just a...

02:04:24.000 Is it a recreation of 3D depth?

02:04:26.000 When I was reading it, they're actually projecting light into your eye.

02:04:30.000 Like, we're accepting light into our eye right now, like through our irises, but they're gonna shoot light into your eye, like lasers-type stuff.

02:04:39.000 How long before someone goes blind?

02:04:40.000 Or has eye cancer?

02:04:41.000 They're saying now that cell phones absolutely cause cancer.

02:04:45.000 Have you seen that?

02:04:46.000 Are you serious?

02:04:46.000 Yeah.

02:04:47.000 There's a study that says that they're pretty positive that cell phones cause cancer.

02:04:52.000 Is there such thing as hand cancer?

02:04:54.000 Because that's what would be the most, right?

02:04:56.000 From texting all day?

02:04:58.000 I don't think people get hand cancer that much.

02:04:59.000 Hands are pretty durable.

02:05:05.000 Let's see this.

02:05:06.000 Cell phones cause cancer.

02:05:09.000 Cell phones and the cancer risk.

02:05:11.000 Yeah.

02:05:12.000 There was a recent article about it where they were talking about it.

02:05:14.000 I'm trying to find the recent version of it.

02:05:16.000 Don't smoke your cell phone.

02:05:18.000 Berkeley.

02:05:19.000 Berkeley says cell phones cause tumors.

02:05:22.000 This is from just a couple months ago.

02:05:26.000 Berkeley is the first city to mandate cell phone carriers informed buyers of potential radiation exposure.

02:05:35.000 A neuroscientist on why it's premature to claim phones cause cancer.

02:05:39.000 That might have been what I read from the Daily Beast.

02:05:45.000 I mean, it makes sense, though. 0.99

02:05:46.000 I think that it's probably not good to have all these Wi-Fi signals running through our fucking houses constantly. 0.95

02:05:55.000 I mean, how could it be good that you're throwing hundreds of megabytes around the room in the air, right? 0.99

02:06:02.000 I mean, this laptop is downloading shit right now. 0.95

02:06:06.000 It's completely unconnected by wires. 0.99

02:06:08.000 Yours is as well.

02:06:09.000 Isn't it weird?

02:06:10.000 There's movies in the air right now around us. 0.99

02:06:13.000 There's like dick pics right next to your cheek. 0.99

02:06:15.000 Radios. 0.99

02:06:16.000 Radio signals in the air.

02:06:17.000 Cell phones.

02:06:18.000 Signals are in the air.

02:06:20.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:06:21.000 Well, they say that fucks with bees. 1.00

02:06:23.000 That bees, apparently, they hear it like a jackhammer. 0.99

02:06:26.000 Like, the way bees communicate, they're...

02:06:30.000 I think they're pretty positive that bees are negatively impacted by the sounds and the signals that are flying around them all the time.

02:06:38.000 Wi-Fi, cell phone, radio, all that jazz. 0.96

02:06:40.000 That it's fucking with their peace. 0.92

02:06:42.000 See, I don't know... 0.97

02:06:44.000 How much we feel, or how much it impacts us.

02:06:48.000 But what I do know is, every time I go somewhere where there's no cell phone, where it's like Alaska or Montana or something like that, where you're out in the real wilderness, it seems different.

02:06:58.000 Like, the actual physical environment of the air seems different.

02:07:02.000 Like, when you're standing out there...

02:07:04.000 You're like, what if this is a different kind of solitude?

02:07:07.000 It's a different kind of silence.

02:07:08.000 It's just like real silence.

02:07:10.000 It's not like there's something missing in the air. 1.00

02:07:13.000 And it could be just totally bullshit. 0.99

02:07:15.000 It could be a placebo. 0.99

02:07:17.000 It could be just the fact that you know that you can't get a cell phone signal and there's no one for miles.

02:07:21.000 You can't see anybody.

02:07:22.000 That it just gives you this feeling of solitude that sort of accentuates the...

02:07:28.000 You know the quiet of the environment but it might not be it might be there there might be an actual physical thing like a That you're feeling in your brain that you can't quite put your finger on but it's there all the time It just makes me wonder though if we could look at it like something like a gnat though and be like well they would feel it first You know they're so small that just a tiny gnat or what are those little red dots that are insects that are always like Walking around on bricks and stuff you know I'm talking was like a bright orange dot And you're like,

02:07:57.000 I'll just accept that that's a bug, that orange dot.

02:08:00.000 No, I don't know what you're talking about.

02:08:02.000 It's little dots.

02:08:03.000 No.

02:08:04.000 They're like these little insects.

02:08:05.000 It looks like a little red dot.

02:08:06.000 It's like a pixel, but they're super small.

02:08:10.000 I don't know if they have them in California, maybe.

02:08:12.000 There's two articles in a row here.

02:08:14.000 It's official.

02:08:15.000 Cell phones are killing bees.

02:08:16.000 And then right below it, cell phones don't kill bees.

02:08:20.000 One of them is from 2011, May 21st.

02:08:23.000 The other one is May 19th, 2011. It's hilarious.

02:08:30.000 How the fuck is someone supposed to figure it out? 0.98

02:08:32.000 Do bees squirt? 1.00

02:08:34.000 I think they were saying that it interferes with them.

02:08:38.000 So let's see.

02:08:39.000 Bees cell phones interfere.

02:08:42.000 Let's see this.

02:08:45.000 Interfere.

02:08:47.000 Study links bees decline to cell phones.

02:08:51.000 This is on CNN. Yeah, and they're saying that the cell phone signals, somehow or another, cell phone radiation may be contributing to the decline of bee populations.

02:09:02.000 In some areas of the world.

02:09:03.000 You know, Radiolab had this interesting story about bees, where, um, in China, they, because of what, what are you, what are you pulling up here, Jamie?

02:09:13.000 Says it doesn't?

02:09:14.000 Yeah.

02:09:14.000 See, that's the government, though.

02:09:16.000 Those are criminals. 0.99

02:09:17.000 This is a criminal website. 0.97

02:09:19.000 This might be, might as well be ISIS. Who knows if they're telling you the truth. 0.97

02:09:24.000 Um, uh, this is a Huffington Post, bro.

02:09:27.000 Says it's real.

02:09:29.000 What was I just saying?

02:09:30.000 Oh, decline in bees. 0.60

02:09:31.000 In China, they did this study where they found out that they had rapidly declining bee populations for whatever reasons, pollution, whatever.

02:09:40.000 And so they decided that they were going to have to figure out another way to pollinate some of their plants.

02:09:46.000 So these apple trees.

02:09:48.000 So they hand pollinated the apple trees and their yield went through the roof. 0.99

02:09:53.000 Because apparently when you have bees do it, bees are sloppy fucks. 1.00

02:09:58.000 They don't even know what they're doing. 0.99

02:09:59.000 It's like you're asking someone to do something and they don't even know what they're doing. 1.00

02:10:01.000 And they're idiots. 1.00

02:10:02.000 You know, bees are just little robots, little insect robots. 1.00

02:10:05.000 They just run around and they get this pollen and they accidentally spread it.

02:10:11.000 They're not doing it on purpose.

02:10:12.000 But when you have people do it on purpose, they had people doing it with paintbrushes.

02:10:16.000 And when they had the people doing it with paintbrushes, like significant increase in yield.

02:10:22.000 But then people wanted more money, and then they realized that, you know, in China, like, the more lucrative the business became, the more people organized and said, we want more money, and the more they decided it was cost-prohibitive.

02:10:34.000 But they tried...

02:10:35.000 This is all from a Radiolab podcast called...

02:10:39.000 I think it was called Worth.

02:10:40.000 Don't quote me on that, though.

02:10:41.000 But it was all about how much are things worth.

02:10:43.000 And one of the things that they were talking about were how much...

02:10:47.000 How much is it worth to have bees pollinate these plants? 0.99

02:10:51.000 You don't think about it that way.

02:10:52.000 You think about it like, oh, it's just a part of nature.

02:10:54.000 But if you had to put a monetary value on it, then maybe you would think more carefully about maintaining healthy bee populations.

02:11:02.000 And I think the number they were using was like in the billions.

02:11:06.000 That having healthy bee populations that pollinate plants is worth X amount of billions of dollars in labor.

02:11:12.000 Whether or not that's true.

02:11:15.000 Yeah.

02:11:16.000 Seems like you could use, like those little robot drone things, we could almost make our own robot bees in the future.

02:11:21.000 Well, they have done that.

02:11:22.000 Yeah.

02:11:22.000 They have done that.

02:11:23.000 Monsanto did that.

02:11:24.000 Monsanto has drone bees.

02:11:26.000 You ever seen them?

02:11:26.000 No.

02:11:27.000 Pull them up, Jamie.

02:11:28.000 Monsanto drone bees.

02:11:29.000 Wait till you see this. 0.99

02:11:30.000 This is the idea, I think, is once we pollute the atmosphere to the point where bees can't live anymore, they're going to release these fucking insect hordes. 0.99

02:11:39.000 Jump into the fields. 1.00

02:11:41.000 These horrible little monsters.

02:11:42.000 Boston Dynamics just released a new robot video running through a forest and it's very creepy looking.

02:11:50.000 It looks like an army soldier. 1.00

02:11:53.000 Those fucking things are terrifying, man. 1.00

02:11:55.000 Boston Dynamics, they make some of the scariest shit. 1.00

02:11:59.000 Did you find any Monsanto bees? 1.00

02:12:01.000 Drone bee?

02:12:03.000 I sent you the link of the other robot one.

02:12:05.000 Do you want to look at that?

02:12:06.000 I have that.

02:12:08.000 The only stuff I'm finding on this Monsanto bee are sites that don't look legit.

02:12:14.000 Robotic bees to pollinate Monsanto crops. 0.65

02:12:17.000 That sounds like a troll.

02:12:18.000 Earthfirstnews.wordpress.com.

02:12:20.000 Dude, that's it though.

02:12:21.000 Go to it and they'll show you the bee.

02:12:23.000 I know, but that's where I'm at.

02:12:24.000 Is it fake?

02:12:25.000 Go to Snopes.

02:12:26.000 Is it on a WordPress?

02:12:28.000 It's from Harvard.

02:12:29.000 It says the Harvard monolithic bee.

02:12:34.000 Harvard Microbiotics Lab have been working with its micro-air vehicles project since 2009. Working on it.

02:12:41.000 Barring from the biomechanics and social organization of bees, the team of researchers is undergoing the creation of a tiny winged robot. 0.99

02:12:51.000 Look at this fucking thing, man. 0.99

02:12:53.000 Is that real? 1.00

02:12:54.000 Seems real.

02:12:56.000 It's the size of a penny.

02:12:58.000 Whoa.

02:12:59.000 So they cut that bee out of that thing. 0.72

02:13:02.000 The little circuit board.

02:13:04.000 Published reports from the lab also describe potential military uses, surveillance, and mapping, but the dime-sized cyberbees have yet to be outfitted with neurotoxin tip stingers.

02:13:15.000 Yuck, yuck, yuck. 0.99

02:13:16.000 This looks real as fuck, dude. 1.00

02:13:18.000 If this is fake, this is a really elaborate sort of a hoax. 0.99

02:13:21.000 That or it's like, you know, a final at some college, you know, some engineers.

02:13:26.000 That was my final.

02:13:27.000 Yeah, it could be.

02:13:28.000 But I don't think it's anything outside of the realm of possibility.

02:13:32.000 Whoa, look at this.

02:13:35.000 It is real.

02:13:36.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:13:37.000 Look at this fucking thing. 1.00

02:13:39.000 This is the little tiny fake bug. 1.00

02:13:42.000 So how does this thing fly?

02:13:47.000 Oh wow, those things go so fast you can't even see it.

02:13:51.000 So they move just like a real bug, like the same sort of thing.

02:13:56.000 Printed Circuit MEMS is a versatile process for creating machines at the millimeter scale.

02:14:01.000 It can create complex electrical and mechanical systems using a variety of techniques.

02:14:07.000 I don't see it flying.

02:14:11.000 This seems like some...

02:14:13.000 Hmm. 1.00

02:14:14.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:14:16.000 Sounds like an idea, again. 1.00

02:14:18.000 Concept.

02:14:19.000 Yeah, they didn't show it fly.

02:14:21.000 They just showed the wings buzzing.

02:14:23.000 Which he could have just hooked up to a battery. 1.00

02:14:25.000 Show me it flying, bitch. 1.00

02:14:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:27.000 Why would you show something that flies but not have it fly?

02:14:31.000 That seems silly, right?

02:14:32.000 Yeah, it doesn't seem right.

02:14:33.000 But that Boston Dynamics robot is real, and it looks like a soldier.

02:14:39.000 It looks like Star Wars running through it.

02:14:41.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

02:14:42.000 Oh, it's so awful.

02:14:43.000 There's a video also of it.

02:14:45.000 This is just an animated GIF. It's terrifying.

02:14:50.000 It's...

02:14:52.000 It's weird because it's hooked up right now to a giant tube in the back of it, but that's just for now.

02:14:58.000 Aren't they owned by Google now or something like that?

02:15:00.000 Boston Dynamics?

02:15:02.000 Skynet, you mean?

02:15:03.000 Yeah.

02:15:05.000 They're showing all their different robots right now in this video.

02:15:08.000 My friend who worked for Google doesn't work for Google anymore.

02:15:11.000 So now I can't find out when they're gonna attack.

02:15:13.000 Oh no.

02:15:13.000 I was hoping that she could at least send me the bat signal.

02:15:17.000 Skynet's gonna go live and these robots are gonna start attacking.

02:15:20.000 But does she work somewhere better? 1.00

02:15:22.000 Apple or something like that?

02:15:24.000 Should move to another corporation that I'll tell you about later.

02:15:26.000 But look at this, um, this thing walking on those uneven rocks. 1.00

02:15:29.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

02:15:30.000 Oh, look at that. 1.00

02:15:30.000 Look, it gets hit. 1.00

02:15:31.000 It lifts its leg up.

02:15:32.000 It checked the leg kick.

02:15:33.000 Balance.

02:15:34.000 That's a 20-pound ball that slammed into it, a 20-pound piece of metal.

02:15:39.000 Mm-hmm.

02:15:40.000 Or 20 kilograms, we don't know.

02:15:42.000 Can you imagine these things during riots?

02:15:44.000 They're just gonna throw these robots out that are not gonna have any real judgment skills.

02:15:48.000 Just grab, you know, keep out. 0.98

02:15:52.000 The real worry is that this is how we're going to do our wars.

02:15:55.000 These things are going to go into cities and just kill people.

02:15:58.000 This is robot versus robot until robots get to people and they decimate human populations.

02:16:06.000 That's the wars we have. 0.99

02:16:07.000 We send robots to kill people. 0.99

02:16:09.000 And then we send robots to kill robots that are trying to kill people. 0.99

02:16:13.000 And then we send our robots to kill the people that created the robots to kill the people. 0.91

02:16:17.000 And then we've got robot wars. 0.98

02:16:18.000 That's possible, man.

02:16:19.000 100%.

02:16:20.000 It's gonna start off pretty cool though like oh my god We're getting attacked, but it's a robot attack and we have robots and we're just watching robots on TV here Yeah for a little bit so Jamie there is a video of it just look up robotic bees could change the world and then go to It's pretty far down like maybe seven-eighths into the video You'll see this thing is attached for with a very small wire But it actually is flying It's 0.93

02:16:50.000 fucking crazy to look at, man. 0.66

02:16:53.000 It's really weird. 0.99

02:16:55.000 It's a three-minute video, so go to about, like, 240-something.

02:16:58.000 And you can see the actual fake bug flying.

02:17:03.000 But it's connected just like that robot is.

02:17:06.000 You know, the robot's connected with a hose in the back, with wires.

02:17:09.000 This is connected with a very small wire.

02:17:11.000 But it's real.

02:17:12.000 So it's not just a proof of concept.

02:17:14.000 They just have to figure out a power source that makes sense. 0.94

02:17:21.000 But they're not, the robot bees are fucking crazy and creepy, but what's really creepy is, see that thing? 0.93

02:17:29.000 Look at that thing flying. 0.98

02:17:30.000 That's real.

02:17:31.000 I mean, it's mimicking a hummingbird or a bee, but look at it.

02:17:35.000 Well, see, this is an actual bee, but look at it right there.

02:17:38.000 I mean, that is flying.

02:17:39.000 That's nuts, man.

02:17:43.000 Here's what's scarier, though.

02:17:44.000 Go to 10 Incredible Micro Robots. 0.99

02:17:48.000 This is fucking nuts, man. 0.99

02:17:50.000 Wait till you see this video. 1.00

02:17:52.000 10 Incredible Micro Robots.

02:17:58.000 Micro and then dash robots.

02:18:00.000 Top one.

02:18:00.000 Yeah, that's it.

02:18:01.000 Check this shit out. 1.00

02:18:03.000 This is one style that flies around like little helicopters. 1.00

02:18:08.000 Look at these fucking things, man. 1.00

02:18:10.000 They come out of these boxes. 1.00

02:18:11.000 So imagine that.

02:18:12.000 You're sitting in your office.

02:18:14.000 This is fake though, right?

02:18:15.000 This is proof of context.

02:18:16.000 That's CGI. Yeah.

02:18:18.000 But look at some of these ones that they're creating.

02:18:21.000 These are all the different...

02:18:22.000 So this is Self Organizing Systems Research Lab from Harvard.

02:18:26.000 These things organize and they can figure out where to go.

02:18:30.000 Look at this.

02:18:30.000 Elapsed time, 11 hours.

02:18:32.000 Elapsed time, 5 hours.

02:18:33.000 And they form shapes.

02:18:35.000 They go into certain positions.

02:18:37.000 Look at this.

02:18:37.000 One of them would climb up a wall.

02:18:40.000 So some of these are prototypes.

02:18:42.000 Some of these are proof of concept.

02:18:44.000 Some of these are just theories.

02:18:46.000 But there's eggheads working on this stuff right now.

02:18:49.000 That's so awesome.

02:18:50.000 Did you see the video where they downloaded the brain of a worm and put it into a little Lego robot thing?

02:18:58.000 And it's just like running around hitting walls and going up.

02:19:01.000 I watched it twice.

02:19:03.000 I watched it twice. 0.99

02:19:04.000 And the first time, I thought it was a woman's brain. 1.00

02:19:08.000 And I was like, oh my god, did you see that they downloaded a woman's brain into a machine to my friend?

02:19:12.000 I'm like, no they didn't.

02:19:13.000 I'm like, yeah.

02:19:13.000 And I pulled up and I'm like, oh wait, it says worm.

02:19:15.000 But the whole time I thought, how hilarious.

02:19:16.000 You saw it said woman instead of worm? 1.00

02:19:18.000 I'm like, look how dumb this woman is. 1.00

02:19:19.000 She's just hitting her. 1.00

02:19:21.000 Well, she's a worm. 1.00

02:19:22.000 She can't think. 1.00

02:19:23.000 She's a Lego or whatever the fuck she is. 1.00

02:19:26.000 But that's funny thinking. 1.00

02:19:27.000 What do you think they would do if you put your brain in a Lego?

02:19:29.000 Definitely probably go in circles and hit a wall. 0.99

02:19:31.000 It would just run over to a laptop and just research fat Jew all day. 1.00

02:19:35.000 Just hang out on MFC. There's a bunch more in that video too. 0.78

02:19:41.000 One of them is a typer.

02:19:43.000 One of them is typing.

02:19:45.000 With the top ten organizing ones, one of them is this little thing that goes over a piece of paper, like a typewriter would do, but types it.

02:19:56.000 So you put a message in this little thing, and then you put this little thing on a piece of paper, and it will print out like a typewriter would what your message is.

02:20:06.000 Which is really weird.

02:20:07.000 Yeah.

02:20:08.000 You can see that one at like...

02:20:10.000 Let me see here.

02:20:12.000 Yeah.

02:20:13.000 Check it out, Jamie.

02:20:15.000 Oh, wow.

02:20:15.000 Zufa Labs.

02:20:16.000 How hilarious.

02:20:17.000 I don't think it's the same Zufa. 1.00

02:20:19.000 But it said like 225. Go to 225. Look at this fucking thing, Brian.

02:20:26.000 I mean, I think that typing is kind of... 0.99

02:20:27.000 The idea of a typewriter is kind of outdated.

02:20:30.000 There it is.

02:20:31.000 Oh, that's cool.

02:20:33.000 Look at that.

02:20:33.000 It just floats across a piece of paper and writes what you wanted it to say.

02:20:38.000 It was fucking very strange, right? 0.78

02:20:41.000 Zuta Labs. 0.97

02:20:42.000 Not Zufa. 0.98

02:20:43.000 But look at that.

02:20:44.000 It's really neat.

02:20:45.000 But it seems like that's old technology that's just not even created yet.

02:20:49.000 You know, that seems like that should have already been made.

02:20:51.000 It seems what would be more...

02:20:53.000 Like, having paper that you could just take a flash and print it by just doing, like a Xerox machine almost, where you're just flashing some paper, like a negative photo or something.

02:21:02.000 Well, that's 100% going to happen.

02:21:05.000 I think, also, what we were looking at earlier, the Kerasana Marina thing, the 3D, they're going to be able to do that with just, you're going to take a video or something with your cell phone and be able to send it to Jamie, and Jamie will watch, like, Princess Leia.

02:21:17.000 Help me, Obi-Wan.

02:21:18.000 You're my only hope.

02:21:19.000 Yeah.

02:21:19.000 That's gonna happen.

02:21:21.000 It's just a matter of us staying alive long enough to see things that we never thought could be real.

02:21:26.000 It's not that far away.

02:21:28.000 There's these people that we don't even know, you don't even know they're working on these things, nobody knows of them, but yet they are like that close to going public.

02:21:37.000 Everybody has to swipe key cards before they go in the building.

02:21:41.000 They check your bag.

02:21:42.000 They make sure you don't bring your phone. 0.99

02:21:44.000 Your phone has to go into a bucket when you go into the laboratory because this is all proprietary shit. 0.99

02:21:50.000 They're checking. 1.00

02:21:50.000 They probably have those fucking fake buttons that are really cameras and shit. 1.00

02:21:55.000 Let me see your glasses. 1.00

02:21:55.000 Let me see those fucking glasses. 1.00

02:21:58.000 Glasses now. 1.00

02:21:58.000 They have glasses with little tiny cameras in them that are like so hard to see. 1.00

02:22:02.000 If you look at your selfie camera, look how little that goddamn lens is. 0.99

02:22:06.000 Like the selfie one, like the one on the back is tiny, right? 0.99

02:22:09.000 Look at my iPhone here. 1.00

02:22:10.000 But the one on the front is fucking stupid tiny. 1.00

02:22:13.000 It's so little and it's good. 1.00

02:22:16.000 It's really good.

02:22:18.000 I mean, look how good a selfie camera is. 0.98

02:22:20.000 I mean, they do a fucking incredible job of capturing your image. 0.99

02:22:25.000 Like look at this. 0.99

02:22:27.000 Look at that.

02:22:28.000 Yeah.

02:22:29.000 That's a tiny-ass little pinpoint camera.

02:22:31.000 And it's got everyone in this room to the point where you could broadcast periscope from this thing that's like a Sharpie.

02:22:39.000 If you took a Sharpie and dotted a page with it, just dot, that's how big that camera is.

02:22:44.000 And yet, it's crystal clear.

02:22:46.000 So that could be in your button.

02:22:47.000 That could be in any...

02:22:49.000 If they're not physically patting you down, you could easily have something like that going on.

02:22:53.000 Yeah, the one I use in massage parlors looks like a car alarm.

02:22:56.000 Hey, you're on the air.

02:22:58.000 Keychain.

02:22:58.000 Oh.

02:22:59.000 The fuck, man? 1.00

02:23:00.000 But it's a video. 1.00

02:23:01.000 It films 1080p...

02:23:03.000 You don't film massage parlors, do you?

02:23:06.000 No.

02:23:07.000 Good.

02:23:08.000 I mean the one...

02:23:11.000 But no, it actually just looks like a little keychain, but it does 1080p.

02:23:17.000 It has a little memory card.

02:23:18.000 You just put it in your computer, and next thing you know, it's just like, oh, you got full video.

02:23:22.000 You just put it on the nightstand next to it, point it towards the girl.

02:23:26.000 Hats, anything.

02:23:27.000 That's really illegal, though.

02:23:28.000 I'm just kidding.

02:23:29.000 I don't do it.

02:23:29.000 That's the only reason I'm saying it.

02:23:30.000 Of course you don't.

02:23:31.000 But you think about what you could do that with.

02:23:34.000 I mean, belts would be an easy one, right?

02:23:37.000 Because you could actually hide the battery and everything in the belt.

02:23:41.000 You could literally hide the whole thing in a belt.

02:23:44.000 They would have to give you your own outfit.

02:23:46.000 They would have to make you come into the lab.

02:23:48.000 You have to take off all your clothes, put them in a locker, and then wear some scrub suit that they provide you.

02:23:54.000 Remember that movie, New Jack City, where they're making cocaine naked? 0.99

02:23:57.000 Titties. 0.99

02:23:58.000 Titties out.

02:23:59.000 That's how they had to do it, because they didn't trust anybody.

02:24:01.000 People would leave with the product.

02:24:03.000 That's the same thing with these laboratories that are about to go live with all this crazy technology.

02:24:08.000 They have to take every precaution possible to make sure that people don't go public with their stuff.

02:24:14.000 That's one of the things about...

02:24:16.000 Big inventions, whether it's the light bulb or the telephone.

02:24:19.000 When these things are being worked on, there's usually a bunch of other people working on the exact same thing.

02:24:25.000 Like, scientific minds.

02:24:27.000 Here's the thing about, like, innovative minds or brilliant people.

02:24:30.000 They don't work in a vacuum.

02:24:31.000 For every Nikola Tesla who comes up with shit completely independent of other people's thoughts, there's most people, what their ideas are based on is based on the ideas of a bunch of other people that are sort of like Extrapolated to a point that maybe a few people saw coming, 0.85

02:24:48.000 you know, whether it's the idea of a telephone or the idea of Holograms or 3d printers or all these different things like people kind of see it coming and they're all working on it And then this one Thomas Edison motherfucker comes out with that light bulb and everybody's like wow, he's a genius Thomas Edison invented the light bulb and America was changed. 0.92

02:25:06.000 Where would we be for not the work of this great man?

02:25:10.000 Well, there's probably about five other dudes that we're working on at exactly the same time.

02:25:14.000 That's sort of what always happens with this stuff.

02:25:16.000 So a lot of it becomes a rush to getting the funding and getting the patents and then figuring out how to get it produced. 0.95

02:25:23.000 But there's usually probably a bunch of people working on similar shit. 0.98

02:25:27.000 So, like, right now, when you see this stuff, like these little micro-robots, when you see those big, crazy Boston Dynamic robots, and you see artificial intelligence, and this is all stuff that they're going public with, they're probably so close in so many different labs developing something that's really going to make you shit your pants. 0.98

02:25:46.000 Right?

02:25:46.000 I got one I saw today.

02:25:49.000 What did you say?

02:25:50.000 Some researchers have got a pig heart to work inside of a primate for 945 days, and that's something I didn't think was actually possible before.

02:26:00.000 Whoa.

02:26:01.000 And they've got a kidney working for 136 days, and it says that they're probably geoengineering some of these pigs to be better to suit human organ transplants.

02:26:12.000 Whoa.

02:26:13.000 Well, here's something that Dr. Gordon, Mark Gordon, told me about.

02:26:18.000 I was telling him about the success that I had with getting stem cells shot on my shoulder.

02:26:23.000 It's kind of creeping me out.

02:26:26.000 Like, my shoulder still makes kind of some clicks.

02:26:29.000 It does some weird clicking stuff.

02:26:31.000 And, you know, I kind of feel it.

02:26:34.000 But I can't say there's any pain.

02:26:36.000 And I'm practicing archery every day.

02:26:39.000 So I'm shooting arrows with it.

02:26:40.000 So I'm pulling back.

02:26:42.000 This new bow I have is only 70 pounds.

02:26:44.000 But I'm pulling back 70 pounds.

02:26:46.000 100 times a day every day and it's not hurting like the next day It feels like a little like something's going on with it, but it doesn't hurt whereas it would definitely be hurting before before the stem cells and Like lifting weights doesn't bother it like chin-ups don't bother it rows Don't bother it all these push-ups don't bother it all these different things that bothered it used to bother and it's only been four weeks What's freaking me out is how quick it is I talked to Daniel Cormier.

02:27:13.000 He's a UFC light heavyweight champ. 0.98

02:27:15.000 Same shit. 1.00

02:27:16.000 With the asterisk next to the champ. 1.00

02:27:19.000 But same shit. 1.00

02:27:20.000 He had an MCL tear. 1.00

02:27:22.000 Got some stem cells shot in there.

02:27:23.000 Bam.

02:27:24.000 No more swelling.

02:27:25.000 Feels great.

02:27:26.000 They don't even know how it works.

02:27:27.000 They have ideas of how it works, but they're not really sure how it's working.

02:27:31.000 These are non-specific cells.

02:27:33.000 And these cells go to the injured area, and they somehow or another know what's injured.

02:27:37.000 Through the immune system or something, the utilization of these stem cells causes injuries to heal way quicker than it ever did before.

02:27:47.000 And Dr. Gordon was telling me about this guy who got in a car accident.

02:27:50.000 Gets his chest crushed, okay, on the steering wheel, down to 30% heart capacity. 1.00

02:27:55.000 And he's fucked. 1.00

02:27:56.000 Can't have sex anymore. 1.00

02:27:57.000 Can barely walk. 0.87

02:27:59.000 I mean, he's just severely, severely diminished.

02:28:01.000 Get some stem cells shot into his heart. 0.86

02:28:03.000 Bam! 0.98

02:28:04.000 Back to 100%.

02:28:05.000 Wow.

02:28:05.000 Just a few months.

02:28:07.000 Like, what?

02:28:08.000 A few months? 0.99

02:28:09.000 A few months and his fucking heart's working 100% now. 0.99

02:28:12.000 And this is like, apparently this is going on all over the world. 0.99

02:28:15.000 Like, they're just going, wait, what, what, what, what?

02:28:17.000 Like, they're just starting to experiment.

02:28:20.000 But that's really what's happening.

02:28:21.000 It's experiments. 0.99

02:28:22.000 Because they don't exactly know why this shit works. 0.98

02:28:25.000 They have some theories, and they're trying it out, but a lot of people are real cautious about it. 0.99

02:28:31.000 But they're having some pretty incredible results with stem cells.

02:28:35.000 To the point where it makes you wonder, like, what are they gonna have in five years from now?

02:28:40.000 Because they didn't even have this ten years ago.

02:28:42.000 Ten years ago, if you told someone you got stem cells shot in an injury, they'd be like, what are you, from the future? 1.00

02:28:47.000 The fuck are you talking about? 0.91

02:28:48.000 Yeah, I wonder if there's also, because you're adding something new to the body that's kind of foreign if that passes on through DNA or, you know, like in the future. 1.00

02:28:56.000 Look at you with a clever question.

02:28:57.000 Like you have like a baby that has like an extra face or something to it?

02:29:02.000 I don't think it works like that.

02:29:03.000 It's just they're cells that are natural to your body.

02:29:09.000 They can do it that way or they can do it with placenta. 1.00

02:29:11.000 That's how I did it.

02:29:12.000 Mine was from human placenta from chicks who've had cesarean sections.

02:29:16.000 They take their placenta.

02:29:19.000 Did you get to choose the girl?

02:29:20.000 No.

02:29:21.000 I did not.

02:29:22.000 I don't think they would let you creep.

02:29:24.000 But they also can take it out of your fat.

02:29:27.000 You can have some of mine.

02:29:28.000 No, I don't want your fat. 0.96

02:29:30.000 My fat.

02:29:30.000 The idea is you use your own.

02:29:33.000 Would you get lipo?

02:29:34.000 Yeah.

02:29:34.000 If a guy was like a lipo surgeon and contacted the show and said, I would like to give Brian Redband some free lipo.

02:29:40.000 You know, I would totally do it because I'm lazy.

02:29:45.000 No, I've noticed that the older I get, the more around the muffin top thing.

02:29:52.000 It has nothing to do with you drinking every night.

02:29:54.000 Nah, probably not.

02:29:56.000 I mean, it's all Diet Coke. 0.93

02:30:00.000 Diet Coke sucker, it's sodium. 0.95

02:30:02.000 It's sodium. 1.00

02:30:04.000 Don't fucking bother me. 0.99

02:30:06.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:30:06.000 I mean, there's something going on. 0.98

02:30:08.000 I know, I only eat once a day, so it's so weird that I even have any issue at all, but I really wonder if I just quit drinking 100%.

02:30:15.000 It's weird, because I only drink diet sodas.

02:30:19.000 And so it's like Jack Daniels, whatever calories is in Jack Daniels I'm having, but if you want to eat one a day, you have calories to burn.

02:30:26.000 It's not like I'm eating hot dogs.

02:30:29.000 Well, you have a sedentary lifestyle.

02:30:31.000 You like sitting and not doing anything.

02:30:33.000 Absolutely.

02:30:33.000 Laying.

02:30:34.000 Yeah, laying.

02:30:34.000 It's even better than sitting.

02:30:36.000 Sitting's rough.

02:30:36.000 It's too hard.

02:30:37.000 You gotta stay up.

02:30:37.000 Yeah, I gotta stay up.

02:30:38.000 If I do that, we can just lay sideways.

02:30:40.000 You broke up with one of your girlfriends back in the day, the one where you went on this rampage and lost all that weight. 0.99

02:30:46.000 You were fucking determined to look good. 0.96

02:30:50.000 You decided, this is it. 1.00

02:30:52.000 I'm tired of being fat and waddling around everywhere.

02:30:54.000 That was ten years ago, too.

02:30:55.000 Awesome.

02:30:56.000 Yeah.

02:30:56.000 Well, so you feel like it's harder now because you're 41?

02:30:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:31:00.000 That changed like maybe five years ago where I'm just like, holy shit. 0.81

02:31:04.000 Like the energy was already low to begin with. 0.95

02:31:07.000 Now I wake up tired.

02:31:09.000 So that or I have...

02:31:13.000 Sleep apnea?

02:31:14.000 Because I really do wake up just going like, okay, I just need to stay awake enough to go to Starbucks, and then Starbucks doesn't seem like it works.

02:31:21.000 The problem with finding out if you have sleep apnea is you've got to go through one of those sleep studies, and those are annoying.

02:31:25.000 You saw that picture of me where I have all those electrodes stuck to my head.

02:31:29.000 I had it on my blog somewhere. 0.99

02:31:31.000 It's probably still up there, but I had these electrodes stuck all over my head and around my eyes and shit. 0.99

02:31:40.000 And then you try to sleep in this fucking weird bed in some weird room. 0.99

02:31:43.000 I had the hardest time sleeping. 0.99

02:31:45.000 But once I did, I was choking.

02:31:48.000 Clearly, they could tell.

02:31:49.000 There it is.

02:31:51.000 There's me covered up with...

02:31:53.000 See, I did the home version of that.

02:31:55.000 I just put a drop cam next to my bed, and I had it tell me any time it hears noises or movement, and then it records it in the clouds.

02:32:05.000 Then I can just go back and be like, oh, there's a noise here.

02:32:07.000 Oh, that's me snoring, or that's me moving.

02:32:11.000 I've been doing it for a couple months.

02:32:15.000 It's mostly, I'll snore on nights that I heavily drink or something like that, but it's always at the beginning of my sleep, and then I just, it's only for like a half hour or so, so it's not the whole night going like that or anything like that.

02:32:28.000 Well, heavily, when you're drunk and really exhausted, when I'm really exhausted, I snore horrible.

02:32:34.000 Like, the worst. 0.80

02:32:36.000 Like one of these hunting trips that I went on, me and Steve Rinella had to haul this pig down the side. 0.89

02:32:41.000 Well, I shot this pig and it rolled down the side of a hill.

02:32:45.000 And it was really far down the hill. 0.98

02:32:47.000 And the hill was ridiculously steep.

02:32:49.000 Like this.

02:32:50.000 I mean, like you couldn't walk up it.

02:32:51.000 You had to crawl up the hill.

02:32:53.000 You could crawl up it, but you literally couldn't stand up straight.

02:32:57.000 I mean, it was just that steep. 0.93

02:32:59.000 And it was a big pig. 0.81

02:33:00.000 It was like 200 plus pound pig. 0.98

02:33:02.000 So the pig goes...

02:33:03.000 Rolling down the side of this hill, and we had to figure out how to get it up the hill.

02:33:06.000 So we attached it to these cables, and we had this truck pull it, but the cables were rubbing on the rocks on the hill, and they kept snapping.

02:33:15.000 The cable snapped twice, and the pig came rolling back down, and then we had to stop the pig from rolling down.

02:33:20.000 So then the guide from the Tohon Ranch said, all right, this is what we're going to do.

02:33:25.000 We're going to roll the pig downhill.

02:33:28.000 I'm going to roll the pig downhill, and I think if you just roll it downhill, you'll get down to the road at the bottom, and I'll just drive around and pick you up the road.

02:33:38.000 So we figured, oh, okay, probably won't be that far.

02:33:41.000 He totally misjudged. 0.99

02:33:43.000 So not only that, I shot this pig with like five minutes left of light. 0.99

02:33:49.000 So it was like, if it gets dark at 6 o'clock, I shot the pig at 5.55. 0.97

02:33:53.000 So all this stuff we're doing in dark.

02:33:56.000 And this is a place, the Tejon Ranch, that has a, they have a trail camera that picks up movement and takes photographs.

02:34:04.000 So they have this waterhole.

02:34:06.000 They got pictures of 16 different mountain lions in this one waterhole.

02:34:12.000 And it's just me and Ranella with one gun.

02:34:15.000 I don't think he even had a gun with him.

02:34:17.000 I think it was just me and him.

02:34:18.000 One gun, 16 mountain lions, and a dead pig.

02:34:23.000 We're rolling it down this hill, but you can only go so far because we got to this point where it was just like so heavily wooded We had to cut up the pig and then we had to carry it out So we have to we had to gut this pig we take out the heart because you eat the heart and We got rid of the rest of the organs and he put one half on his shoulder.

02:34:44.000 I put one half on my shoulder and And then we had to carry this thing the rest of the way.

02:34:48.000 So we're carrying it for miles through the woods.

02:34:51.000 And the woods are like, it's super steep hills.

02:34:53.000 You get to the bottom.

02:34:54.000 You're trying to climb over logs. 1.00

02:34:56.000 I mean, it's fucked. 1.00

02:34:57.000 And it takes hours. 1.00

02:34:59.000 So from 6 p.m.

02:35:01.000 to midnight, this is what we did.

02:35:02.000 We just carried this.

02:35:04.000 We each had 100 pounds on our back.

02:35:06.000 Climbing over woods and trying to figure out how to get to where this truck is.

02:35:12.000 We finally get to where this truck is.

02:35:13.000 We got back to the cabin and just conked out.

02:35:17.000 And apparently I snored so bad that everybody else in the building didn't sleep.

02:35:21.000 I got shot with a tranquilizer dart.

02:35:24.000 I even had a mouthpiece in it. 0.96

02:35:25.000 I had a shitty one at the time. 0.66

02:35:26.000 I have a better one now.

02:35:27.000 Have you ever tried those nose strips?

02:35:29.000 Does those work?

02:35:30.000 That's not going to help.

02:35:32.000 I had already had my nose fixed by then.

02:35:34.000 It wasn't that.

02:35:36.000 It's a big issue with weightlifters.

02:35:39.000 Your neck gets big.

02:35:40.000 Your hole gets smaller. 0.80

02:35:42.000 The air hole actually gets smaller.

02:35:44.000 And I have a big tongue.

02:35:46.000 And so my tongue...

02:35:47.000 I don't mean to brag.

02:35:48.000 My god. 0.85

02:35:49.000 So you got a tight throat and a nice, big, fat tongue. 0.89

02:35:51.000 I got a tight throat and a fat tongue. 0.93

02:35:54.000 And my fat tongue, if I'm lying on my back especially, falls over the hole, the air hole, and it just chokes. 0.70

02:36:02.000 And so it's like...

02:36:03.000 Apparently that's what it sounds like.

02:36:07.000 I never listened to my snore.

02:36:09.000 I've heard you snore before.

02:36:10.000 It's bad.

02:36:10.000 Yeah.

02:36:11.000 I remember you snored when we went to Japan.

02:36:13.000 Did I? Oh, did I not have my mouthpiece in when I went to sleep?

02:36:17.000 I don't remember.

02:36:17.000 I just remember...

02:36:18.000 On the plane?

02:36:19.000 Yeah.

02:36:19.000 Oh, yeah.

02:36:19.000 That'll happen.

02:36:20.000 Yeah.

02:36:21.000 They killed a mountain lion on the 5 freeway the other day.

02:36:23.000 Good. 1.00

02:36:24.000 Kill them all. 1.00

02:36:25.000 From the Santa Monica Mountains. 1.00

02:36:26.000 Cunts. 0.90

02:36:27.000 People are too happy about those things being around. 0.94

02:36:30.000 They're cute, though.

02:36:31.000 They're cool looking.

02:36:32.000 They just shouldn't be around people.

02:36:35.000 Boob, you shouldn't be around when they are. 1.00

02:36:37.000 Shut up. 1.00

02:36:38.000 I hate that fucking line of thinking. 1.00

02:36:40.000 That is an annoying line of thinking. 1.00

02:36:42.000 They're dangerous. 1.00

02:36:43.000 Mountain lions will fuck you up. 0.98

02:36:45.000 If you've never seen a picture of someone who got bit by a mountain lion, there was some poor lady who was on one of the news shows, and it was so graphic. 0.99

02:36:54.000 She had been attacked by a mountain lion on her bike, pulled her off of her bike, someone else tried to beat the thing off of her, and it just had a hold of her head, and just tore her face apart.

02:37:03.000 I mean, it was just, it was awful. 0.97

02:37:06.000 There was a video on HuffPost of a woman's beautiful lullaby to her sick pig. 0.81

02:37:12.000 And I don't know if you saw it or not, but it's one of those videos that I'm just...

02:37:16.000 It's the most cutest, like, human-looking eyes I've ever seen in my life. 0.93

02:37:23.000 Well, that's the thing about pigs. 1.00

02:37:25.000 I mean, it's coming from someone who just shot one or just told you about a time I shot one. 0.98

02:37:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:37:29.000 Pigs are really smart, man. 0.99

02:37:31.000 They're smart. 0.65

02:37:32.000 And they kill them like vermin in Texas. 0.99

02:37:36.000 I mean, in Texas, they shoot them out of airplanes. 1.00

02:37:39.000 They're constantly fucking shooting them out of airplanes. 1.00

02:37:44.000 This poor pig is blind, and she rescued this pig. 1.00

02:37:53.000 It has to stay in this hospital.

02:37:55.000 Hold on, Jamie, you have two things playing at the same time.

02:37:58.000 It has to stay in this hospital, and I guess that one of the things is that...

02:38:02.000 There's so many loud noises at the hospital that it gets scared.

02:38:06.000 And so she comes there when she can and sings to it.

02:38:09.000 And it's just one of those videos you just sit there going, I don't want to eat bacon.

02:38:13.000 Never mind.

02:38:13.000 I may still eat bacon.

02:38:15.000 It's hard because bacon's good.

02:38:17.000 It is good.

02:38:18.000 Bacon's good, but it is...

02:38:19.000 It's just weird, man.

02:38:25.000 It looks like an old man.

02:38:26.000 Is that noise in the background hurt?

02:38:27.000 Yeah.

02:38:28.000 This is at a hospital.

02:38:29.000 Oh.

02:38:36.000 I mean, that looks like a human. 1.00

02:38:47.000 This is annoying as fuck. 1.00

02:38:49.000 Stop that. 0.99

02:38:50.000 It's almost like a joke.

02:38:52.000 Let's see if you listen to this song.

02:38:54.000 The sound of tractor trailers falling off cliffs in the background.

02:38:58.000 That's an old Irish lullaby she's singing.

02:39:01.000 But it's a nine-month-old, 14-pound piglet.

02:39:05.000 Two million views.

02:39:07.000 If that was an African baby, 50 views. 0.97

02:39:10.000 Right.

02:39:10.000 It's true, man.

02:39:12.000 People are brutal. 1.00

02:39:13.000 There was a picture of this fucking vulture that someone posted. 1.00

02:39:16.000 You know, it was a meme. 0.99

02:39:17.000 I don't think...

02:39:18.000 It wasn't funny, so Fat Jewish didn't use it. 0.96

02:39:20.000 But it was a meme of a vulture hovering over a black baby in Africa waiting for this kid to die.

02:39:27.000 And it was about how many people cared about this lion, but how few people care about the amount of people that starve to death every year in Africa.

02:39:38.000 Yeah.

02:39:39.000 Justin Wren is going to be on the podcast again soon.

02:39:41.000 He's fighting for Bellator now.

02:39:43.000 And he's back on the podcast, I think, in a week or so.

02:39:48.000 I gotta go check the calendar.

02:39:50.000 But he's back soon to talk about his...

02:39:54.000 Yeah, that's the 24th.

02:39:55.000 A week from today.

02:39:57.000 To talk about black widow babies?

02:39:59.000 He's fighting for Bellator, and one of the reasons why he's doing this is to try to raise awareness for the Pygmies.

02:40:04.000 He's such an amazing dude.

02:40:07.000 He's a real deal.

02:40:08.000 I always look for people like that.

02:40:10.000 I always think maybe somewhere along the line he'll reveal himself, and it turns out that he was really just doing this for his own profit, but he's not.

02:40:19.000 I don't think that about him, but you think that about someone usually when they have some big, like, remember Coney 2012?

02:40:27.000 One of my favorite times.

02:40:29.000 Whacking it, whacking it, whacking it.

02:40:30.000 The guy was, uh, well explain why you say whacking it. 0.83

02:40:34.000 Because the guy was in, uh, he was putting together this ridiculous thing to go after Joseph Coney and, you know, letting everybody know what a horrible person Coney was.

02:40:43.000 And then something happened to homeboy.

02:40:46.000 He wound up losing his mind and was in his underwear running around in traffic in San Diego, beating off in front of people.

02:40:53.000 And that was the end of Coney.

02:40:55.000 You have to be a perfect person.

02:40:59.000 You can't have a great cause and also be a nut.

02:41:02.000 Because then people just immediately dismiss your cause.

02:41:05.000 We never heard a peep out of Joseph Coney ever since.

02:41:09.000 It was Coney 2012. Here he is.

02:41:11.000 He's totally naked.

02:41:13.000 Crank this up so we can hear this guy. 0.52

02:41:23.000 He's running around naked and he's clapping.

02:41:25.000 What do you think he was on?

02:41:31.000 First of all, he's gayer than the day is long. 0.99

02:41:35.000 There's no way you can even pretend to be that gay, like faking it. 1.00

02:41:39.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.88

02:41:39.000 That seems like alcohol in Molly, maybe. 0.88

02:41:43.000 I think that's like some serious drugs.

02:41:45.000 I think that's like a meth move.

02:41:47.000 Yeah.

02:41:47.000 That's like a meth-y sort of behavior.

02:41:49.000 Running around slapping concrete and angry at everybody.

02:41:52.000 That's all meth-y.

02:41:53.000 Yeah, it's meth-y.

02:41:54.000 It seems meth-y is...

02:41:56.000 It's more popular than I ever thought it was.

02:42:00.000 It seems like I learned more about people doing meth and heroin in this city than I've ever thought was actually real life.

02:42:08.000 Yeah, meth is super popular.

02:42:10.000 Meth is real popular and...

02:42:12.000 And Adderall is real popular, too.

02:42:14.000 And you talk to doctors and they say, there's not that much difference.

02:42:18.000 Depends on how much you're taking, but meth and...

02:42:21.000 We associate meth with addiction. 0.97

02:42:23.000 And we associate meth with addiction and shitty behavior. 1.00

02:42:26.000 Like, you're going to take meth, you're definitely going to go out and get whacked out and do a bunch of stupid shit. 1.00

02:42:30.000 That's not necessarily the case. 1.00

02:42:32.000 Some people do meth and they're fine. 0.93

02:42:34.000 Like, they get cranked up and then the next day they'll feel like shit, but they don't do it every day. 0.93

02:42:39.000 Whereas we only think of meth by the people that quote-unquote abuse meth. 0.95

02:42:43.000 Imagine if meth became something like alcohol, where you could just go buy it. 0.99

02:42:47.000 Like if you run into someone, like if you're at a park and you run into some dude and he's hammered, like, oh great, a fucking drunk. 0.97

02:42:53.000 That's annoying. 0.96

02:42:55.000 Why is that any different than running someone who's methed out?

02:42:57.000 Like, there's people that can drink, like you, Jamie, you can drink and you're fine. 0.97

02:43:02.000 I've seen you a little silly, but you don't get crazy.

02:43:05.000 But we all know someone, I mean, every group of people knows at least one person that can't drink. 0.96

02:43:11.000 They drink.

02:43:12.000 Yeah, they go off, whoever it is, they go off the rails, they get crazy. 1.00

02:43:17.000 And if you ran into that person in a park and they're like, man, fuck these bitches, you know, running around drunk, you'd be like, oh great, a drunk. 1.00

02:43:25.000 Maybe that's the same thing with meth. 1.00

02:43:27.000 Maybe you do meth and you'd be like all fucking speedy and you'd clean your house up, but you'd be the same guy the next day. 0.68

02:43:34.000 You'd be like, ah, I did some good meth last night. 0.99

02:43:36.000 I got a little fucked up. 0.99

02:43:37.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:43:37.000 Like we associate, like if you do meth... 0.99

02:43:40.000 You're off the rails, out of your fucking mind, done. 1.00

02:43:43.000 Like, Jesus, Brian's doing meth. 1.00

02:43:45.000 Oh, no.

02:43:46.000 But what if alcohol was illegal, but meth was legal?

02:43:50.000 And, you know, you know what Brian did last night?

02:43:52.000 He got drunk. 0.99

02:43:53.000 No fucking way. 1.00

02:43:54.000 He was drinking alcohol? 1.00

02:43:56.000 What an idiot. 1.00

02:43:57.000 And you're out there drinking booze, getting fucked up, which is totally normal to us. 1.00

02:44:02.000 But it's only normal because it's a society-sanctioned drug. 0.98

02:44:05.000 What if meth is just as good or bad for you, or just as problematic as alcohol is?

02:44:11.000 It's just not sanctioned, so we don't think about it that way. 1.00

02:44:14.000 We only associate it with those people who fucking claw their face off and lose their teeth and shit. 0.99

02:44:19.000 Is that what people were referring to as speed in like the 80s or is that something else? 1.00

02:44:23.000 Yeah.

02:44:23.000 It's all amphetamines.

02:44:25.000 Different types and schedule, different classifications of amphetamines.

02:44:29.000 But like that was a big thing in professional pool was guys would play on amphetamines.

02:44:35.000 They'd play for 24, 48 hours.

02:44:37.000 They would play until the other guy dropped. 0.95

02:44:40.000 And they would they would gamble the entire time and apparently when you're on amphetamines you can see things better like you see like the path of the balls better you see like where the ball is gonna go someone described to me that they used to do meth and he said when you play pool on meth you know you look at a ball and the ball looks circular When I would play on meth,

02:45:00.000 he said, I would see flat surfaces.

02:45:04.000 So I'd see like a series of flat surfaces around the ball, and I would know exactly what flat surface to hit.

02:45:10.000 So the ball collisions, like when you play pool, if you look at a ball and you're trying to cut a ball in the side pocket, you're just kind of estimating where the ball is going to collide with the other ball.

02:45:20.000 And that collision point, you have to assume there's going to be Like, a little bit of friction.

02:45:25.000 It's going to move the ball off the line a little bit, especially if you're cutting a ball.

02:45:29.000 So you've got to kind of compensate that, and you add a little spin to it to try to compensate for the deflection.

02:45:35.000 So there's all these variables that you have to kind of like play on feel.

02:45:38.000 He said it wasn't on feel.

02:45:39.000 He said when he was on meth, he would see like flat surfaces.

02:45:42.000 So he knew that this flat surface had to collide with that flat surface, and it would make like a direct tangent line that would go into the pocket.

02:45:49.000 And I was like, how come you can't see that when you're sober?

02:45:51.000 He's like, I can't even describe to you what it's like. 0.54

02:45:53.000 He's like, but when I'm fucked up on meth, I would see, like, flat surfaces instead of a curve. 0.52

02:45:59.000 There's probably a way to mimic that using some kind of eyewear, you know? 0.76

02:46:03.000 Yeah, probably.

02:46:04.000 But maybe not, because I think what he's seeing is a hallucination. 1.00

02:46:07.000 What he's seeing is like, yeah, I can fuck with you. 1.00

02:46:09.000 You know, it's like you get confidence. 1.00

02:46:11.000 And the balls are heads.

02:46:12.000 It's been big in baseball forever.

02:46:14.000 Yes.

02:46:15.000 Like forever, forever.

02:46:16.000 Makes sense, right?

02:46:17.000 Like, you would be able to see the ball coming at you quicker, and you may be able to see the edges of the ball better.

02:46:23.000 Somebody did say that when they were on meth.

02:46:27.000 Like, someone was talking about Adderall, not on meth, but Adderall, that they could see the stitches of the ball as it's coming towards them.

02:46:37.000 What?

02:46:37.000 Well, all that stuff was invented to make people better.

02:46:40.000 See, that's weird.

02:46:41.000 All these things that, you know, like meth and amphetamines, they're all designed to give you more energy and make you better at certain tasks.

02:46:49.000 But we just associate them with abuse.

02:46:51.000 Because they're illegal.

02:46:53.000 Be weird.

02:46:54.000 Look, if Adderall and meth really are that close, and no one in this room is smart enough to understand whether or not they are.

02:47:01.000 But if they really are, and no one in this room has done meth, right?

02:47:04.000 Is that true?

02:47:05.000 Brian?

02:47:06.000 I don't think so.

02:47:07.000 But you've done Adderall, right?

02:47:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:47:09.000 I wish you did both.

02:47:11.000 Wait, meth, do you snort?

02:47:14.000 You might have.

02:47:14.000 I think I feel like I've done it before.

02:47:17.000 Well, you can smoke it, you can smoke it, you can snort it.

02:47:19.000 The idea is to get it directly into your bloodstream, right?

02:47:21.000 If you're taking the Adderalls, you're taking them as a pill, so it has to go through your body.

02:47:26.000 People snort those too.

02:47:27.000 Yeah, oh yeah, they do.

02:47:29.000 Well, that was one of the things that the bigger, stronger, faster guy had said.

02:47:32.000 That when they changed OxyContin's and made them to where you couldn't smoke them or snort them.

02:47:37.000 When you crushed them and turned them into a pill, their profit margin jumped or dropped by like 80%.

02:47:42.000 I think it happened after they were here that it's been approved for 11 year olds.

02:47:46.000 It did happen.

02:47:47.000 Yeah.

02:47:49.000 OxyContin's for 8 to 11 year olds.

02:47:51.000 Cool.

02:47:53.000 Because everybody knows.

02:47:54.000 That's why Sesame Street's on HBO now, man. 1.00

02:47:57.000 Shit's changing. 1.00

02:47:58.000 Quick. 1.00

02:47:59.000 Gonna do some meth.

02:48:00.000 Sesame Street's gonna have swearing in it. 1.00

02:48:03.000 Muppets are gonna fuck. 1.00

02:48:05.000 Finally, Burton and Ernie are taking a bath together. 1.00

02:48:08.000 Yeah, Burton and Ernie.

02:48:09.000 Different reasons.

02:48:10.000 How long have those guys been hiding their true love?

02:48:13.000 Totally.

02:48:14.000 Like, in those shows, like, you could have, like, two dudes that are obviously adults live together, and nobody questions, where's the girls?

02:48:22.000 These guys aren't into girls?

02:48:24.000 Like, Bert and Ernie never talked about chicks.

02:48:26.000 They just hung out together.

02:48:28.000 I'm surprised we don't like homeless people more, because we all loved Oscar the Grouch, you know?

02:48:33.000 And we kind of grew up as a young kid, you know, loving Oscar the Grouch.

02:48:37.000 But then we got older, we're like, ew, it's Oscar, get out of here. 1.00

02:48:42.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

02:48:44.000 By the way, those are red velvet mites, what I was talking about earlier. 0.99

02:48:48.000 Those red dots that are around there.

02:48:51.000 Very small.

02:48:53.000 Yeah, you were saying orange.

02:48:54.000 I was getting confused. 0.99

02:48:55.000 Alright, we'll wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:48:57.000 We're out of time here. 0.98

02:48:58.000 I'll be back tomorrow with Jeff Nowitzki.

02:49:01.000 Jeff Nowitzki is a guy who busted Lance Armstrong.

02:49:04.000 And he now works for the UFC. He's a UFC drug guy.

02:49:07.000 He's going to clean up the sport.

02:49:09.000 I'm going to find out how.

02:49:11.000 Jeff Ross will be here on Wednesday.

02:49:13.000 It should be fun.

02:49:14.000 Jeff Ross's documentary or his Comedy Central special where he roasts prisoners.

02:49:20.000 It's awesome.

02:49:21.000 It's amazing.

02:49:22.000 And he really did go right into prison.

02:49:24.000 And he wrote a really interesting thing that I retweeted about it.

02:49:28.000 I think he wrote it for HuffPost about how crazy the prison system is.

02:49:34.000 We'll let him talk about it.

02:49:35.000 I don't want to go into it.

02:49:37.000 Wednesday, we'll be at the Ice House.

02:49:39.000 Brian Redband will be there.

02:49:40.000 Brian Cowen will be there.

02:49:41.000 I'll be there.

02:49:42.000 More people to come.

02:49:43.000 I got a few other people that texted me during the show.

02:49:46.000 Those tickets will be available soon.

02:49:48.000 I'll put them up on Twitter in about 20 minutes.

02:49:51.000 This next Saturday, I'm in Austin, but it's sold the fuck out. 1.00

02:49:56.000 So you snooze, you lose, freak bitches. 1.00

02:49:59.000 Sorry! 1.00

02:50:00.000 Sorry!

02:50:01.000 You got any dates coming up?

02:50:03.000 Next Wednesday, we've got the secret show at the Comedy Store Belly Room.

02:50:08.000 It's a good belly room version of this show that we do.

02:50:10.000 It's going to be huge.

02:50:11.000 The belly room's the best.

02:50:12.000 Yeah, and then Friday, next Friday, August 28th, I'll be at the Ventura Comic Con.

02:50:16.000 I'm doing a show there at the Hong Kong Inn in Ventura, California.

02:50:21.000 Tickets are on sale right now.

02:50:23.000 And deathsquad.tv for all Brian Redband's t-shirts and shit, all sent through stamps.com. 0.83

02:50:29.000 Yes. 0.99

02:50:29.000 But with his own greasy little hands. 0.99

02:50:31.000 If you want to frame him for murder, you can get some DNA off of the packages.

02:50:35.000 He actually licks each and every one of those envelopes.

02:50:38.000 Yeah, it's true.

02:50:39.000 It's funny, sometimes I'll throw a shirt in there and something else goes in the package by mistake. 1.00

02:50:45.000 Fuck you, fat Jew. 1.00

02:50:47.000 That's it. 1.00

02:50:48.000 Anything else?

02:50:50.000 Write Amazon and all the people that Fat G gets money from and tell them what you think about Fat G. Get it together, fella.

02:50:57.000 You don't have to live like this.

02:50:58.000 You could come up with your own stuff.

02:51:02.000 That's it, right?

02:51:03.000 Anything else we got going on?

02:51:04.000 That's basically it.

02:51:06.000 Alright.

02:51:06.000 We'll see you guys soon.

02:51:07.000 That's it.

02:51:08.000 Good night.

02:51:09.000 Bye-bye.

02:51:09.000 Big kiss.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 17, 2015

Joe Rogan Experience #684 - Brian Redban

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