The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #741 - Joey Diaz

00:00:00.000 Janis Joplin. 1.00

00:00:01.000 When you've got a minute, just watch both parts of that fucking documentary about it. 0.99

00:00:05.000 The new studio. 0.98

00:00:06.000 When I set up the new studio, I'm gonna set up all these... 0.99

00:00:08.000 Oh, fucking Italians weren't allowed above 19th Street and Hoboken. 1.00

00:00:11.000 Two, one, live. 1.00

00:00:13.000 Go! 0.95

00:00:14.000 Holla! 1.00

00:00:14.000 Holla, you dirty bitches! 1.00

00:00:16.000 Merry Christmas, my brother. 1.00

00:00:17.000 Merry Christmas, brother.

00:00:17.000 How are you?

00:00:18.000 Oh, shit, Jamie. 1.00

00:00:20.000 No, we're talking about... 1.00

00:00:21.000 Italians weren't allowed above 12th Street because the Irish controlled the Italians in the 40s. 0.66

00:00:27.000 That's how it was, a pecking order.

00:00:29.000 And he was the first one to make it out, and it just cleared the attack.

00:00:32.000 You gotta watch this documentary.

00:00:33.000 It's on Sinatra?

00:00:34.000 It's on, yeah, it's Sinatra on HBO, All of Me, or something like that. 0.91

00:00:37.000 And it's weird because I always grew up hearing these fucked up stories about him, like that he was kind of a little rough. 0.97

00:00:44.000 But bro, he fucking loved people like us. 0.99

00:00:46.000 Like, he lived for that craziness. 0.99

00:00:48.000 He loved it.

00:00:49.000 Burt Reynolds just put out a book.

00:00:51.000 Have you been reading the excerpts that they've been releasing?

00:00:53.000 No.

00:00:53.000 Good.

00:00:53.000 And he goes, he bumped into Sinatra one night, and Sinatra told him to go play cards.

00:00:58.000 Over at some bar, and they're playing cards, and the guy dropped the dishes, and the owner was yelling at him, and Sinatra called the owner over, and he goes, how much you think of glasses?

00:01:09.000 He goes, I don't know, maybe 30 cents, and he goes, give him $3,000.

00:01:13.000 Bring me $3,000 worth of glasses.

00:01:15.000 And he called the busboy over there.

00:01:17.000 He was yelling, and he embarrassed me.

00:01:19.000 He goes, what's your name?

00:01:19.000 Hector.

00:01:20.000 Hector, I want you to break every fucking glass. 0.99

00:01:23.000 And he started breaking glasses. 1.00

00:01:25.000 Nobody knew what was going on.

00:01:26.000 And he goes, if I ever come in here and Hector's not here, I'm going to tell all my friends not to come in here and eat. 0.99

00:01:31.000 And Burt Reynolds got up and he goes, where the fuck are you going? 0.96

00:01:34.000 He goes, I already got my Sinatra story. 1.00

00:01:38.000 He goes, sit the fuck down and play cards, will you? 0.99

00:01:40.000 I got my Sinatra story. 0.99

00:01:42.000 Yeah.

00:01:44.000 Yeah, he was supposed to be an incredible guy.

00:01:46.000 Like, in that sense.

00:01:48.000 And then after, like, he got down.

00:01:49.000 Like, that documentary really breaks it down.

00:01:51.000 Like, he went really down.

00:01:52.000 Then he did a world tour out of his pocket.

00:01:56.000 We're just for kids.

00:01:57.000 He donated everything for kids.

00:01:59.000 His daughter said he never recovered from Kennedy screwing him over.

00:02:02.000 Like, he never recovered from that.

00:02:04.000 You just gotta catch it.

00:02:05.000 It's pretty interesting, man.

00:02:06.000 He's from Hoboken.

00:02:07.000 Which really, when I heard that story about how the Italians weren't, you know, it was different.

00:02:11.000 Like, the Muslims are all crying now. 1.00

00:02:13.000 A hundred years ago, those were the Italians. 1.00

00:02:15.000 You know, a hundred years ago, they were throwing fucking Chinese people over a cliff to fucking, for the railroads with dynamite. 1.00

00:02:20.000 Is that true? 1.00

00:02:22.000 Did you ever hear about that shit? 1.00

00:02:24.000 When they built the railroads? 1.00

00:02:26.000 The crazy statement slash question. 1.00

00:02:28.000 The Chinese people were like, everybody suffered in this fucking country. 1.00

00:02:32.000 The Chinese people who built the railroads. 1.00

00:02:33.000 The railroads. 0.99

00:02:34.000 They would fucking play the 21st finger is it. 1.00

00:02:37.000 And whoever was it strapped dynamite around them and they threw them over the fucking house. 1.00

00:02:41.000 I swear to God, man. 1.00

00:02:42.000 Somebody will fucking say this shit to you. 1.00

00:02:44.000 All these races suffered, you know? 1.00

00:02:46.000 Yeah.

00:02:47.000 They've been walking on the railroad.

00:02:49.000 Yeah.

00:02:50.000 That's why when you go to Wyoming, there's a Chinese restaurant. 1.00

00:02:52.000 I didn't know that shit. 1.00

00:02:53.000 You ever go to Wyoming, you're like, why is there a Chinese fucking restaurant in Cheyenne, Wyoming? 1.00

00:02:58.000 And they're like, oh, because after they built the railroads, they said, fuck it, let's just stay here. 0.99

00:03:01.000 Wow, that's interesting. 0.99

00:03:03.000 I never really thought about that.

00:03:05.000 But wasn't there a place we went to?

00:03:06.000 Was it Vancouver that we went to?

00:03:07.000 We went to some museum that showed, like, how all the Chinese immigrants wound up in Vancouver?

00:03:13.000 I don't think it was the railroad.

00:03:15.000 I forget what it was.

00:03:16.000 But it's interesting when you have, like, these pockets.

00:03:18.000 Like, there's pockets of, like, certain parts of Chinatown where those people just never assimilated. 1.00

00:03:24.000 Like, fuck it. 1.00

00:03:24.000 They just stay right here. 1.00

00:03:26.000 Everything's in Chinese.

00:03:27.000 The signs are all in Chinese.

00:03:29.000 We're good.

00:03:29.000 They don't learn English.

00:03:30.000 They just stopped.

00:03:31.000 They decided, we'll just make this China West right here. 0.97

00:03:36.000 Just for a couple blocks.

00:03:38.000 Yeah, wasn't there some mayor or something?

00:03:40.000 Or there was some kind of guy that was from China that came over there that invited everybody over there?

00:03:46.000 Everybody where?

00:03:47.000 Into Vancouver.

00:03:48.000 Oh, that's interesting.

00:03:49.000 I wonder.

00:03:50.000 I forget.

00:03:50.000 There was some story about that.

00:03:52.000 I wish I paid attention.

00:03:53.000 First of all, the oldest Chinatown.

00:03:55.000 The oldest Chinatown was in Cuba, up to like 61 or 58. One of the biggest Chinatowns outside of China was in Havana, Cuba.

00:04:04.000 And in fact, after Fidel took over, he never fucked with them. 0.99

00:04:07.000 He left those Chinese people alone. 0.99

00:04:09.000 So there's still a lot of Chinese people in Cuba?

00:04:11.000 In Cuba.

00:04:11.000 They speak Spanish.

00:04:12.000 They speak Cuban.

00:04:13.000 And if you go to 79th Street and Broadway, by our friends, where a friend's office used to be, right there, there's a place called La Caridad.

00:04:21.000 It's a Cuban Chinese place.

00:04:22.000 I sent Ari there. 0.98

00:04:23.000 You get pork fried rice with a pork chop and black beans. 1.00

00:04:27.000 It's fucking ridiculous. 1.00

00:04:28.000 And it's Chinese people speaking Spanish. 1.00

00:04:31.000 What does it sound like?

00:04:33.000 But they talk Chinese style, but Spanish.

00:04:37.000 Can you hear what that sounds like?

00:04:38.000 What does it sound like?

00:04:39.000 Like really fast.

00:04:40.000 Let's say I say, That's how you'd say it?

00:04:44.000 That's how I'd say it.

00:04:45.000 They'd say, And they'd talk really fast. 1.00

00:04:51.000 To see a Chinese person speak Spanish will blow your fucking mind. 1.00

00:04:55.000 We'll blow your mind. 0.99

00:04:56.000 So if you ever have a...

00:04:57.000 I even sent Opie there.

00:04:58.000 Opie ended up going there.

00:04:59.000 So I was on Opie& Anthony talking about how that's a weird restaurant.

00:05:04.000 If you go in there high, be prepared to go into shock.

00:05:07.000 And when I was younger, there were more.

00:05:09.000 There were like Campanachina, that's the Chinese bell.

00:05:12.000 There was a couple more like in where I came from, in West New York, there in Jersey. 0.99

00:05:17.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.98

00:05:18.000 That's like a thing. 0.99

00:05:19.000 If you see a Chinese guy with an English accent, you go, whoa, hey, what's going on here? 1.00

00:05:25.000 It doesn't assimilate.

00:05:27.000 But that might be the biggest one.

00:05:29.000 That's the biggest one.

00:05:30.000 Yeah, a Chinese person with a Cuban accent speaking Spanish.

00:05:33.000 Super fast.

00:05:35.000 Why is it so fast?

00:05:36.000 They just always like multitask.

00:05:38.000 They're like that ahead of us.

00:05:40.000 They have a very fast way of talking.

00:05:42.000 The rhythm of the Chinese tone.

00:05:45.000 But they put it into the Spanish.

00:05:47.000 How crazy is it that there's so many different sounds that people make just to talk?

00:05:52.000 Like you hear those African people, they're talking like clicks and... 1.00

00:05:56.000 They start, like, what?

00:05:57.000 Like, they just developed, that's their style.

00:05:59.000 They figured out their style of making noise, and that each noise means a certain thing.

00:06:03.000 And Cubans figured out this kind of, like, flowing, almost dancing style, and Germans have this fucking hard, you know, everything's, you know, and then the Chinese people, they figured out their own thing. 0.94

00:06:17.000 It's all totally different.

00:06:19.000 All of them different.

00:06:20.000 The Japanese have the grunts. 1.00

00:06:21.000 Yeah.

00:06:25.000 Yeah, they have their own thing.

00:06:27.000 I like when I hear Portuguese.

00:06:29.000 This is what blows my mind when I watch a fight and they're talking to the interpreter. 1.00

00:06:35.000 When I watch Portuguese, I understand a few words just from being Spanish. 0.92

00:06:39.000 I don't understand all of them.

00:06:40.000 I'm not going to lie to you.

00:06:42.000 But then it's weird.

00:06:43.000 Then you have all these countries together.

00:06:46.000 But, like, when Sicilians talk around me, I know exactly what they're saying. 1.00

00:06:50.000 They can't pull the wool over mine. 1.00

00:06:51.000 That island is half fucking Spanish. 1.00

00:06:53.000 They don't even know it. 1.00

00:06:54.000 When Sicilians talk, I pick more words up.

00:06:57.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:06:57.000 So when Portuguese say a five-word sentence, I pick up one word, and then I'll take it from there, my imagination.

00:07:04.000 But when Sicilians talk, I could take four out of the five words. 1.00

00:07:08.000 Like, I understand.

00:07:09.000 It's closer to Spanish.

00:07:10.000 So somewhere along the line, I always figured out we were connected somewhere.

00:07:15.000 There's some French words that I understand as Spanish.

00:07:19.000 It's kind of weird.

00:07:21.000 I don't know if I can explain it the right way.

00:07:23.000 Well, there's like the romance languages, right?

00:07:25.000 Like Latin, Spanishes, Frenches, right? 0.99

00:07:30.000 Those are like what they call the romance languages, like old-school European languages that have that sort of flair to them.

00:07:37.000 There's like a beauty to a lot of those older languages.

00:07:41.000 It's interesting just how different parts of the country develop different sounds for talking.

00:07:47.000 You know, when you listen to people from, like, the South Pacific, or another weird one is Filipinos. 1.00

00:07:53.000 When you hear Filipinos, you're like, wow, that's like kind of a combination of stuff. 1.00

00:07:57.000 Like, theirs is like a combination of sort of like an Asian, but a Spanish.

00:08:00.000 There's like a flow to it.

00:08:02.000 It's a weird thing, right?

00:08:03.000 And a lot of, like, a lot of Filipinos have, like, traditionally Spanish last names as well.

00:08:09.000 Well, they were conquered by the Spanish, right?

00:08:10.000 Yeah, it was like Spanish and Chinese, right?

00:08:13.000 It's a combination of Spanish and Chinese.

00:08:15.000 And they're all Catholic, right?

00:08:16.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:08:17.000 Big time Catholic community.

00:08:19.000 Yeah, like Manny Pacquiao. 1.00

00:08:21.000 Super fucking religious guy. 0.99

00:08:23.000 Big time Catholic community. 0.99

00:08:25.000 I read something recently about how emojis is the most advanced language that's been created recently, just because you can pretty much cross, you know, I could talk to a Japanese person by emoji to some point, and if you think about it, that's how cavemen started, 0.90

00:08:40.000 so they might have been way more advanced in their language, and we would have been just shitting on them the whole time.

00:08:47.000 Well, cavemen didn't really do it in pictures. 0.63

00:08:50.000 I mean, they made pictures on the wall, but we don't think that they were communicating.

00:08:54.000 But they do think that hieroglyphics were like a super advanced way of communicating.

00:08:58.000 We don't quite get it, you know?

00:09:01.000 There's no poop emoji type thing for that.

00:09:04.000 It's more advanced like triangles and eyeballs and stuff, right?

00:09:09.000 Is that what the language looks like?

00:09:11.000 Yeah, it's all different symbols.

00:09:13.000 I don't totally understand it.

00:09:16.000 A lot of Egyptian language was lost.

00:09:20.000 A lot of their writing was lost in something called the fire of Alexandria. 0.99

00:09:24.000 When they burned Alexandria, I guess they burned a lot of really cool shit. 0.98

00:09:29.000 They destroyed all the records. 1.00

00:09:31.000 There might have been explanations for how they built all that shit. 0.97

00:09:35.000 All of it got destroyed because it was all on, I guess, a paper or a papyrus, which I don't think is really a paper. 0.99

00:09:41.000 I think it's an animal skin thing.

00:09:43.000 Paper made with animal skins. 1.00

00:09:45.000 But yeah, those fucking people, man, they drew on their walls. 1.00

00:09:49.000 They had their history of their creation and all this different shit, and it was all just written in these different images. 1.00

00:09:55.000 You know, they just wrote in images. 0.90

00:09:58.000 Like, we think that you have to write in letters, because that's how we write.

00:10:01.000 We write in letters.

00:10:02.000 But if we never wrote in letters, we only wrote in images.

00:10:05.000 I mean, we would just develop a really advanced system for communicating in images.

00:10:11.000 When you look at someone's writing and you don't understand it, if you look at Portuguese or something like that, you don't understand what it means.

00:10:18.000 You kind of just look at how the little letters and everything are all smushed in together to try to make a strange sound.

00:10:24.000 It doesn't click and register.

00:10:27.000 But then when you read something that you absolutely know what it is, the thought and the idea immediately enters into your head.

00:10:33.000 It would be way more universal if it was like images.

00:10:37.000 So it does make sense.

00:10:38.000 Yeah, like, I mean, if you think about it, like, look at the old Egyptian, you know, King Tut, with, like, the hand going up and one going down. 0.50

00:10:45.000 And then you look at, like, our emoji system, where we have, like, that one, like, hey Felicia chick with her hand to the sideways.

00:10:50.000 We know exactly what that means when a girl sends it. 0.98

00:10:52.000 It's like, hey, whatever. 1.00

00:10:54.000 But if you see the Egyptian, that's kind of, like, the same exact shit. 1.00

00:10:58.000 I don't know what the fuck did that mean. 0.99

00:11:00.000 Why did the Egyptians hold their hand that weird way? 0.98

00:11:02.000 Was it just a Walk the Egyptian music video that I'm thinking of?

00:11:05.000 Maybe they never did.

00:11:05.000 No, they did.

00:11:06.000 They did in hieroglyphs.

00:11:08.000 They did.

00:11:09.000 I was Pig Latin.

00:11:11.000 Break that down in a minute.

00:11:12.000 It's like you say nay at the end of everything.

00:11:15.000 You take the first letter away and then you, like, you wouldn't say Diaz, you would say, uh, yes day.

00:11:23.000 Right?

00:11:24.000 Isn't that how you do it?

00:11:25.000 Yes, nay.

00:11:26.000 Yes, nay.

00:11:26.000 Okay.

00:11:27.000 Yeah.

00:11:27.000 When I was a kid, my mom...

00:11:28.000 Ixnay on the Ixnay.

00:11:29.000 Right, I've heard that.

00:11:31.000 You know, I don't even know how to say it.

00:11:33.000 There's a Spanish one when you're Cuban and they have a pig Latin and my mom used to talk to me in Spanish as form of communication with other people in the room. 1.00

00:11:40.000 She didn't want people to know what she was saying to me.

00:11:43.000 It was like she did, she thought, she thought. 1.00

00:11:45.000 Same fucking thing. 1.00

00:11:46.000 You have to do something. 1.00

00:11:48.000 I forgot. 0.99

00:11:49.000 I fucking forgot what the fuck it was. 1.00

00:11:52.000 Cuban is a very interesting Spanish. 1.00

00:11:55.000 Because it's almost like drums are playing.

00:11:59.000 When two Cuban people start going back and forth and back and forth, it's got a rhythmic quality to it. 0.99

00:12:06.000 That's loud.

00:12:07.000 It's loud.

00:12:08.000 The conversation gets louder and louder and louder, and you actually think there's an argument going on, but there's really not.

00:12:16.000 There's not even at all.

00:12:18.000 It's just two people who are so passionate about the subject they're talking about, i.e.

00:12:22.000 baseball. 0.99

00:12:23.000 You know, when you get them going, don't start that fucking argument. 0.99

00:12:27.000 Well, what was the documentary they saw where they went to Cuba and they were watching these guys pay to argue? 0.99

00:12:35.000 They would pay to discuss, like, sports.

00:12:38.000 Like, they'd pay to, like, to argue.

00:12:41.000 They would go to this one area, and they would get together with other guys who wanted to argue about sports.

00:12:46.000 And they would actually, like, they had, like, a ticket.

00:12:50.000 They would go in there and argue about, like, soccer, you know?

00:12:54.000 Or baseball.

00:12:55.000 If you really know baseball, like, their arguments are beautiful arguments.

00:13:00.000 That thing I used to do years ago where I'd yell and then walk away.

00:13:03.000 That's Cuban. 0.92

00:13:04.000 That means the conversation's over.

00:13:06.000 Whatever you got to say, I don't need to hear because you're wrong.

00:13:09.000 That's what that means. 1.00

00:13:10.000 That's that body that they argue all day about dumb shit, music, you know, baseball. 0.99

00:13:18.000 It's interesting to them, but they detail it so much that they suck you in with the conversation, you know? 1.00

00:13:24.000 Like that fucking Yoel Romero, dude. 0.98

00:13:27.000 Who more embodies Cuba and Cuban athletics than that guy? 0.99

00:13:32.000 Him, like, he's like, when I think of, like, Cuban athletes, like Cuban super athletes, you think, yo, Romero, right?

00:13:40.000 Well, the thing that, the most thing that he has about being a Cuban is that he's 38 and you don't really know.

00:13:46.000 Oh, you can't tell at all?

00:13:47.000 Nobody knows at all if he's 38. He could be 22, dog.

00:13:50.000 He could be sucking you in and nobody really knows. 0.99

00:13:53.000 We really haven't, those birth certificates... 0.98

00:13:55.000 They went away.

00:13:56.000 You just pick an age.

00:13:57.000 What do you want to be?

00:13:58.000 30 years.

00:13:59.000 None.

00:14:00.000 He competed as a wrestler for a long time, so they know he's at least a certain age.

00:14:04.000 No, I'm just teasing, but there's always something with the Cuban.

00:14:07.000 I remember when my mom died, I told my aunt, she goes, how old was your mom?

00:14:10.000 48. Fuck! 1.00

00:14:11.000 She's been 48 for 10 fucking years! 1.00

00:14:14.000 You know, because it's true. 1.00

00:14:15.000 You don't know, dawg. 1.00

00:14:17.000 You never know these motherfuckers' ages. 1.00

00:14:19.000 They won't tell you. 1.00

00:14:20.000 You know, that last fight, he fought fucking great, man. 0.84

00:14:23.000 Did you see the one before that where he told people to not... 0.98

00:14:27.000 He was trying to say, don't forget Jesus.

00:14:29.000 Right.

00:14:29.000 But they didn't get it because he's got a thick, thick Cuban accent.

00:14:34.000 The thickest.

00:14:35.000 So he goes, don't forget Jesus.

00:14:38.000 Don't forget Jesus.

00:14:41.000 So, people thought he was saying, no, forget Jesus. 0.96

00:14:44.000 Like, there's no gay Jesus. 0.97

00:14:46.000 Like, Jesus isn't gay. 0.93

00:14:47.000 It could have been way worse, though. 0.74

00:14:49.000 But all he was saying was forget.

00:14:51.000 Don't forget Jesus.

00:14:52.000 He was saying, don't forget Jesus.

00:14:53.000 He was just saying, you know, I won.

00:14:55.000 Don't forget Jesus.

00:14:56.000 You know why I didn't go to the win here?

00:14:58.000 Why?

00:14:59.000 You know why I didn't go that way?

00:15:00.000 Why'd you not go that way?

00:15:01.000 Because I would have gone off on him, that he would have beat up Jacare, Luke, and Aldo and everybody on that ring that night.

00:15:10.000 I know how to motivate Cubans.

00:15:11.000 Yeah?

00:15:12.000 Oh, with religion.

00:15:14.000 They're radicals.

00:15:15.000 That's what you would do?

00:15:16.000 You would just start talking about God?

00:15:17.000 I'm just talking about Ogun, the metal God of Cuba. 0.98

00:15:20.000 The metal?

00:15:21.000 Wait a minute.

00:15:21.000 Hold on.

00:15:22.000 There's a God in Santeria.

00:15:23.000 There's a God, Ogun.

00:15:25.000 And he's the one that, he's the metal worker. 1.00

00:15:27.000 He's the fucking built. 1.00

00:15:28.000 When you go on YouTube, look for Ogun, he's always a big, yoked black guy that lives in the jungle. 1.00

00:15:33.000 And he only comes out when there's a problem. 0.87

00:15:38.000 So if I would have seen Y'all Romero that day, I would have said, I would have got his blood going.

00:15:43.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:15:43.000 I would have got his blood going and shit. 0.99

00:15:46.000 Dog, I started doing that to Anderson Silva when I first met him. 0.99

00:15:49.000 And I remember one day in the hallway, he couldn't take his eyes off me.

00:15:52.000 People were talking to him.

00:15:53.000 They kept looking back. 1.00

00:15:54.000 What's that motherfucker saying? 1.00

00:15:56.000 Because it's big in Brazilian. 1.00

00:15:57.000 That shit is big in Brazilian. 1.00

00:16:00.000 So I would have started saying, and then I would have started saying who my mother is. 1.00

00:16:12.000 Don't do that.

00:16:17.000 Look at Ogun.

00:16:18.000 That's the dude?

00:16:19.000 That's Joe Romero.

00:16:20.000 Look at him.

00:16:20.000 That's Ogun.

00:16:21.000 He does look like him. 0.79

00:16:21.000 No, all black, muscular, Cuban dudes that look like that, you fire them up, tell them they're Ogunsons. 0.79

00:16:28.000 And they go, fucking nuts! 1.00

00:16:30.000 That's Ogunsons and shit! 1.00

00:16:32.000 I'll get you fucking fired up with all those images. 1.00

00:16:34.000 How come I never heard this before? 0.98

00:16:35.000 Because this is huge in Cuba.

00:16:37.000 Who's this guy?

00:16:38.000 This guy, right here.

00:16:39.000 That's Ogun, see? 0.99

00:16:40.000 So there's like a series of black porn films. 0.99

00:16:43.000 LAUGHTER With these guys, shirtless, six-pack, covered in oil. 0.99

00:16:48.000 This is the God of the jungle.

00:16:52.000 And he, like, is in charge of machinery. 0.99

00:16:54.000 When machinery goes bad and shit like that, you have to pray to him. 0.97

00:16:58.000 He has all the weapons of metal. 0.98

00:17:00.000 He just shows up with metal and starts... 0.99

00:17:02.000 He has a metal axe, a metal fucking everything. 0.99

00:17:04.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

00:17:05.000 And that's why I would have busted him with that.

00:17:07.000 I would have gotten to his head with Ogun. 0.95

00:17:09.000 And that takes over Jesus and Cuba. 0.93

00:17:11.000 That's what you were brought up on.

00:17:13.000 You heard that growing up. 1.00

00:17:14.000 So even if you convert it to Christianity later on, that'll still get under your fucking skin. 1.00

00:17:19.000 Like, I'll throw her out of your cage and shit. 1.00

00:17:21.000 Bro, if I would have started saying that shit to him, he would have thrown everybody out of the ring. 1.00

00:17:25.000 John McCarthy. 0.99

00:17:26.000 It would have been that episode of Curly and the Little Rascals when they fought, not Little Rascals, Three Stooges.

00:17:31.000 They wanted Curly to wrestle for a benefit. 0.99

00:17:34.000 But the problem was, whenever Curly smelled wild hyacinth, he went fucking nuts. 0.99

00:17:39.000 So he's on the bottom of the pile. 0.99

00:17:41.000 The guy's beating him. 0.99

00:17:42.000 And all of a sudden, Moe comes over and makes him sniff the fucking thing. 0.99

00:17:45.000 Curly pushes him off him. 0.99

00:17:47.000 What is it called?

00:17:47.000 Wild high scent?

00:17:48.000 Wild high scent.

00:17:49.000 What is it? 1.00

00:17:50.000 Like some fucking herb or something. 0.99

00:17:53.000 This is like in the 40s or whatever. 1.00

00:17:55.000 It was made.

00:17:56.000 And all of a sudden, you flash back.

00:17:58.000 And you just see Curly hitting everybody.

00:18:01.000 People are coming up, and then he gets a hold of the bell, and he starts clocking people with the bell from the Wild Heisens, and they flip over to Curly, hitting people with the bell, and all of a sudden they flip over to the middle of the ring, and they're all piled on top of each other, dog. 0.99

00:18:12.000 He knocked out 18 people with that fucking bell. 0.98

00:18:15.000 That's what I would have done to your old girl Merrill that day. 1.00

00:18:18.000 He would have gone until the audience banged your head with fucking... 1.00

00:18:23.000 Big what's his name? 1.00

00:18:24.000 Goldberg.

00:18:27.000 I felt bad when that whole forget Jesus thing went down.

00:18:32.000 It was so bad.

00:18:32.000 Everybody was piling on them.

00:18:34.000 They all just assumed.

00:18:36.000 It was really bad because you gotta know that Cuban accent. 1.00

00:18:41.000 The T's become wise. 1.00

00:18:43.000 That's how they do it.

00:18:44.000 In a thick accent like that, nobody figured it out.

00:18:49.000 It was weird.

00:18:50.000 It was weird to watch. 0.74

00:18:51.000 They were all like, he's making a statement against gay people. 0.92

00:18:55.000 Oh, man. 0.72

00:18:56.000 I do it. 0.99

00:18:57.000 When I heard it, I was like, this mother, because half of Cuba is pro-gay. 0.97

00:19:00.000 Right. 1.00

00:19:01.000 And the other fucking half of Cuba, they'll take you shark hunting. 0.99

00:19:03.000 But didn't you understand what he was saying, seeing as you speak Spanish with a Cuban accent? 0.99

00:19:08.000 No, I didn't.

00:19:08.000 You didn't get it.

00:19:08.000 Wow.

00:19:09.000 You know, I'm half deaf, so I really didn't hear what the fuck he was saying. 1.00

00:19:13.000 That's why you're always screaming. 0.99

00:19:15.000 Yeah, that's why I'm always screaming.

00:19:19.000 Yeah, I kind of heard about it after they had already figured out what it was.

00:19:26.000 But when I heard it, I was like, yeah, that's what he's saying.

00:19:29.000 He's saying, don't forget Jesus. 1.00

00:19:30.000 He's fucking Cuban. 1.00

00:19:32.000 It's like, don't forget Jesus! 1.00

00:19:34.000 Don't forget!

00:19:35.000 Don't forget!

00:19:37.000 And, you know, that's him saying, don't forget Jesus. 0.99

00:19:41.000 He fucking loves you. 0.99

00:19:42.000 I think I've beaten it into the ground. 1.00

00:19:43.000 I love him.

00:19:44.000 I could tell the way he says your name.

00:19:46.000 George Roga!

00:19:48.000 It's an honor.

00:19:49.000 Oh, my God.

00:19:50.000 He loves you.

00:19:51.000 I could tell how he's excited.

00:19:53.000 You know, the thing that they should do that the UFC always misses is just tape the best corners in the business of George A. Miles Duvall and Yoho Romero.

00:20:03.000 And I hear it very...

00:20:04.000 Because the things they say... 1.00

00:20:07.000 Are ridiculous. 0.99

00:20:08.000 What are they saying? 1.00

00:20:09.000 They're ridiculous. 1.00

00:20:09.000 They're saying it in Spanish? 1.00

00:20:11.000 Yeah.

00:20:11.000 Cuban Spanish?

00:20:12.000 What are they saying?

00:20:12.000 One time I was hearing Georgie Mandoval's trainer saying...

00:20:15.000 Masvidal.

00:20:16.000 You know what a galletazo is? 1.00

00:20:19.000 An open-handed bit slap.

00:20:21.000 You can't do that.

00:20:22.000 And the guy's like, oh, yeah. 1.00

00:20:26.000 That's Cubanismo shit. 1.00

00:20:28.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:20:30.000 Right.

00:20:30.000 You can't smack somebody, but in our mind, metal un galletazo fires you up.

00:20:36.000 Oh, I get it.

00:20:36.000 Listen to it.

00:20:37.000 Remember, a bit slap is a bit slap.

00:20:39.000 In Cuban, it's un...

00:20:40.000 He was saying, metal un galletazo.

00:20:44.000 You know what a galletazo is? 1.00

00:20:45.000 What?

00:20:45.000 An airplane.

00:20:47.000 That means hit him with one of these things that come across the head like a fucking wild punch. 0.99

00:20:52.000 So if you talk to a Cuban, one time they were interviewing Stevenson in like the 70s, and they go, so Stevenson, what happened? 0.99

00:20:59.000 And the guy's like, you know, trying to...

00:21:01.000 And Stevenson said it, and I almost died as a little kid.

00:21:03.000 No, no, no. 0.67

00:21:05.000 I hit him with a plane.

00:21:07.000 That's what they're called.

00:21:11.000 What a great language.

00:21:12.000 No, no, no.

00:21:13.000 And it has so many different meanings. 1.00

00:21:15.000 And the truth of the matter is, it's such a funny language because they say shit. 0.99

00:21:21.000 Like one time, one of the nicest things you ever said to me is you were stuck in an airport. 0.99

00:21:24.000 And all of a sudden you heard this party going on at 7 in the morning.

00:21:27.000 People were delayed.

00:21:28.000 And you looked over and they were Cubans.

00:21:31.000 And they were like, I got you that day.

00:21:33.000 That's when I really got you.

00:21:35.000 I got you.

00:21:36.000 It ain't you.

00:21:37.000 It's your culture.

00:21:38.000 They're little, you know.

00:21:39.000 Well, I remember that day very well.

00:21:41.000 These people were having fun, man.

00:21:43.000 They were speaking Spanish with clearly Cuban accents.

00:21:46.000 They were dancing.

00:21:47.000 They would have the little girls dancing with the father was dancing.

00:21:50.000 They were playing music out of their phone. 1.00

00:21:52.000 I was like, look at these fucking people. 1.00

00:21:54.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:21:55.000 They're just here having a good time. 0.99

00:21:56.000 They're just here having a good time.

00:21:57.000 It's beautiful.

00:21:59.000 See, you know, the one thing that I don't know too much about politics and I don't know too much about, like, the embargo and how it all went down.

00:22:08.000 I know very little of it, honestly.

00:22:10.000 But what I do know is something strange about a culture like Cuba that's kind of existed outside of the influence of the United States, purely.

00:22:20.000 You know, I mean, obviously we're only 90 miles away, but since there was an embargo and there was all this bullshit that was going on back and forth between the two countries, they kind of existed in their own space. 0.78

00:22:31.000 And when you see it, like in video, and you see like the cars, all 1950s cars done up beautifully, and people were driving them around, they put like diesel engines in some of them and shit. 0.72

00:22:41.000 They're all like self-sustaining.

00:22:43.000 And you look at these people and you see the flowing style of their language and how they live, and it's all right there. 0.97

00:22:49.000 It's fucking 90 miles from Miami. 0.98

00:22:52.000 It's nothing. 0.99

00:22:54.000 If you could drive there in a car, it would take you an hour and a half.

00:22:56.000 It's closer than San Diego.

00:22:58.000 And it's a totally different world.

00:23:00.000 Totally different world that essentially existed with very little U.S. influence.

00:23:05.000 Other than the fact that we're close by and, you know, they have to deal with us, but other than that, I mean, they're doing their own thing down there. 0.94

00:23:11.000 And the athletes, Jesus fucking Christ, how many countries that are that small produce the kind of athletes that Cuba has? 0.97

00:23:19.000 Just think about how many baseball players have defected and become, like, major league baseball players. 0.99

00:23:25.000 How many boxers have defected and become world champions?

00:23:28.000 Like, there's a lot of, like, super high-level boxers that come over there from there.

00:23:34.000 Judo guys guys like Hector Lombard, you know, I mean that kind of that caliber of athlete like Jesus Christ a Lot of them come from Cuba. 0.99

00:23:43.000 Look at the Hector Lombard and Yoel Romero both what you would call what-the-fuck athletes You know you look at both of them you go what the fuck? 0.97

00:23:51.000 And I'm thinking what did they lift in Cuba? 0.99

00:23:53.000 They got them that big? 1.00

00:23:54.000 They eat two eggs a fucking year in Cuba. 1.00

00:23:56.000 What protein sauce? 1.00

00:23:57.000 They got no juice in Cuba. 0.99

00:23:59.000 How do you get that fucking big? 0.99

00:24:01.000 And I've seen listen when I went home I went with my wife and the baby to New York, and one day I said, listen, before we go into the city, let me take you to my neighborhood. 0.99

00:24:10.000 I took them to the actual park I used to play in, where I used to see some crazy shit.

00:24:14.000 I sat across the street from Carmine Balzano's house, the guy that shot the guy seven times in self-defense and all that shit, and got away with it, and they took away his pension. 0.97

00:24:23.000 I'm just staring at the house. 0.71

00:24:25.000 I'm like, I remember being out here when the FBI had that house surrounded. 0.98

00:24:29.000 And they fucking found Patty Hearst's machine gun in that house. 1.00

00:24:33.000 That's how deep Carmine was, dog. 1.00

00:24:35.000 And he was a cop.

00:24:36.000 That's how deep this guy was in my hometown.

00:24:39.000 And I'm going through, like, going through the...

00:24:41.000 When we were kids, we had to do the attic.

00:24:43.000 And we were finding money in the attic, dog.

00:24:46.000 Hundreds and twenties and fifties.

00:24:48.000 Whoever had the house before that had so much money, they were using it as insulation.

00:24:53.000 What?

00:24:53.000 Like, this is crazy.

00:24:55.000 I'm thinking about all these things, but while all this is going on, it's me, my wife, and the baby, and a guy and his little girl.

00:25:02.000 And my daughter's kind of mingling with the little girl, and it's a beautiful day in Jersey.

00:25:07.000 There's leaves out and everything.

00:25:08.000 And all of a sudden, The guy's getting ready to leave, and I just said, hey man, how are you?

00:25:13.000 And I go, and I went to say, do you live around here?

00:25:15.000 Just to see if those kids come to the park.

00:25:17.000 I go, you live around here, man?

00:25:19.000 And he goes, perdóname.

00:25:20.000 I go, you live around here?

00:25:21.000 And he goes, me no.

00:25:23.000 And I go, ¿tú te cuándo?

00:25:24.000 And he goes, yeah.

00:25:25.000 I go, how long have you been here?

00:25:26.000 Eight days.

00:25:29.000 Him and his daughter had been here eight days.

00:25:32.000 They had gotten here like the day after Thanksgiving.

00:25:35.000 So right away, they offered me a Cuban cigarette, which I smoked.

00:25:39.000 I smoked a communist cigarette with the guy just talking to him.

00:25:43.000 Just to feel where he was coming from.

00:25:45.000 He was telling me how...

00:25:47.000 You're basically poor unless you tell you have to defect into professionalism.

00:25:52.000 There's a word that you defect in the country and now you work for yourself.

00:25:56.000 So this guy was 48 and he was a bicycle guy that two people sit in the back and drive you around town.

00:26:02.000 So what he was making in one day, he was making in a month.

00:26:06.000 That's why they let him defect so quickly.

00:26:09.000 They let him out of the country because you have to claim that first thing.

00:26:12.000 You don't want to be a professional. 1.00

00:26:13.000 He was telling me all this shit. 0.99

00:26:15.000 I tell you, man, I had tears in my eyes when he was telling me what... 1.00

00:26:17.000 I asked him what a daily menu was.

00:26:21.000 Like he said, he came here and saw an Italian sandwich.

00:26:23.000 He goes, coño, soy italiano, son de pinga.

00:26:26.000 That Italian sandwich, coño, I slept for 15 hours.

00:26:29.000 He goes, that was tremendous.

00:26:31.000 He had never seen it.

00:26:32.000 How can a man be 48 years old and never see an Italian sandwich? 0.99

00:26:37.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

00:26:39.000 I went home. 0.99

00:26:39.000 So what kind of menu did he say he had? 0.99

00:26:41.000 In Cuba, I think you get a dozen eggs per month.

00:26:45.000 That's it?

00:26:45.000 For a family of five.

00:26:49.000 You know, the coffee, you get like one pouch a month and you have to re-keep.

00:26:54.000 I bought him a cup of coffee.

00:26:56.000 He's like, I tasted the coffee for the first time in my life.

00:26:59.000 You have to keep going, running the filter through that coffee until there's really nothing left.

00:27:05.000 And then they do things to bring that coffee back.

00:27:07.000 You spray Windex in it or something. 0.97

00:27:10.000 Something fucking ridiculous that you sit there and go, unbelievable what they do for coffee and the liberties we have, you know? 0.99

00:27:17.000 Un-fucking-believable. 0.99

00:27:18.000 Well, a lot of it was because the U.S. stopped doing trade with them, right? 0.84

00:27:23.000 I mean, that was a big part of it.

00:27:25.000 Here's the clink of gas.

00:27:26.000 After the Bay of Pigs?

00:27:28.000 Yeah, yeah, they got nothing.

00:27:30.000 You know, I've heard from people that they went to Cuba and they've seen Washington apples at the hotels.

00:27:36.000 You know, like the hotels were getting taken care of for tourism.

00:27:41.000 But everybody else lives like savages.

00:27:42.000 But here's where the conversation gets best.

00:27:44.000 The guy's been here eight days. 1.00

00:27:46.000 He already had a fucking job. 1.00

00:27:48.000 Already had a fucking job in Sea Caucus. 1.00

00:27:51.000 I go, how's your English? 0.99

00:27:52.000 He goes, he's coming along, but I work with a bunch of Polacks, and they don't speak English, so we're kind of confused, but we make it work. 1.00

00:27:57.000 Oh, my God! 0.96

00:27:58.000 He was fucking hilarious. 0.99

00:28:00.000 And Joe Rogan, you know me, dog. 0.98

00:28:01.000 I turned around, I went in my pocket, and I had $200 bills in the 20s.

00:28:05.000 And I said, do me a favor.

00:28:06.000 I got a sister in Cuba.

00:28:07.000 It would mean the world to me if you took these two yardsticks.

00:28:10.000 And he goes, I can't do it.

00:28:12.000 He wouldn't take my money, dog.

00:28:14.000 I go, I got a sister in Cuba.

00:28:15.000 You just got here.

00:28:16.000 I go, buy your daughter something nice.

00:28:18.000 I don't know who you are.

00:28:20.000 He wouldn't take my $10.

00:28:22.000 I sat there and I go, wow, that's pride.

00:28:24.000 Yeah.

00:28:25.000 That's pride.

00:28:25.000 He wouldn't take my money, though.

00:28:27.000 I just...

00:28:28.000 Yeah.

00:28:28.000 You know, people ask you for money all the time.

00:28:29.000 This guy really fucking needs it. 0.99

00:28:31.000 He wouldn't take it. 0.99

00:28:32.000 He still had Cuban cigarettes.

00:28:34.000 He had not smoking. 1.00

00:28:35.000 And that's why I said to him, I go, go buy yourself a fucking carton of real fucking cigarettes. 1.00

00:28:39.000 How did he get in? 1.00

00:28:41.000 His sister, his daughter.

00:28:42.000 His daughter defected with the mother when she was three.

00:28:46.000 You know, they leave, and he stayed and started another family.

00:28:50.000 Wow.

00:28:50.000 Like, that's it.

00:28:51.000 Can you imagine one day, like, that's it, Mrs. Rogan. 0.52

00:28:53.000 I got to go back and take care, and I'll get you back, guys, in in three years.

00:28:57.000 Well, a lot of boxers that happened to, what is that trainer, Diaz, the guy who works with Pedro Diaz?

00:29:05.000 Yeah, he works with Vitor, works with a lot of those other guys.

00:29:08.000 He left and left family back home.

00:29:11.000 They did one of the boxing pieces, the in-depth boxing pieces on him.

00:29:14.000 You know, he just realized that he just, to fulfill his dream of being a professional boxing trainer, he's got to escape. 0.99

00:29:22.000 That's got to be so hard, man, to leave your loved ones behind just because you know your life is fucked here. 0.94

00:29:29.000 I wonder if they're going to be able to get back now. 0.98

00:29:31.000 How does that happen now if we opened up a train with Cuba?

00:29:35.000 So they did the first flight of LAX. You guys saw that.

00:29:38.000 And they gave away little chocolate cigars. 1.00

00:29:39.000 It's a fucking party for these people. 0.99

00:29:41.000 So are we, like, freely allowed to go to Cuba now? 1.00

00:29:44.000 Done.

00:29:44.000 That's it.

00:29:44.000 Wow.

00:29:45.000 You go with the missus.

00:29:46.000 Right from LAX. Wow.

00:29:48.000 Right from...

00:29:49.000 Is it dangerous?

00:29:49.000 ...American allies.

00:29:50.000 No.

00:29:51.000 No.

00:29:52.000 No.

00:29:52.000 Listen, nine out of ten people will tell you this.

00:29:56.000 Nine out of ten people will go, listen, bro.

00:29:58.000 The poverty breaks your heart. 0.99

00:30:00.000 The food kind of sucks. 1.00

00:30:02.000 But the people, shit. 1.00

00:30:05.000 That's a different level of heart. 1.00

00:30:06.000 You sit there and go, wow, these people have nothing.

00:30:09.000 Why do they act this way?

00:30:10.000 If I had what these people had, I would not be a nice person at all.

00:30:15.000 They say those people, some Eric Meyer, some comic from the store pulled me aside three weeks ago.

00:30:20.000 He goes, hey man, I want to give you a present.

00:30:23.000 I don't even know the comic.

00:30:24.000 I see him up there a lot.

00:30:26.000 He goes, I went to Cuba and somebody robbed my thing on the plane and a Cuban family took me in for four days and fed me.

00:30:35.000 He goes, they had like two pork chops.

00:30:37.000 He was telling me, I never felt that way. 1.00

00:30:40.000 He goes, they're fucking beautiful people. 1.00

00:30:42.000 Everything sucks. 1.00

00:30:43.000 But the people take it to the next level. 0.99

00:30:45.000 Isn't that crazy, though?

00:30:46.000 Because that's what everybody wants.

00:30:48.000 Everybody wants a community filled with really nice people like that.

00:30:52.000 That's what everybody wants.

00:30:53.000 Everybody wants people to look out for each other, warm, friendly, funny people, right?

00:30:58.000 That's it.

00:30:58.000 So, I mean, I don't want to say this because I don't believe it, but does communism work?

00:31:04.000 Does it make better people?

00:31:05.000 I mean, if you're in this small environment like that and you're forced to work together because the United States cuts your country off, And so, I mean, I don't know who they do trade with mostly, but that had to hurt them financially.

00:31:20.000 That had to hurt their quality of life in a big way, right?

00:31:23.000 I don't even think they know what communism is.

00:31:27.000 Like, the conversations I've had face-to-face with my cousins where we go for pastrami sandwiches and we went to a Cuban place while they were in L.A. Communism didn't come up one time.

00:31:38.000 I don't have the heart to bring it up or what it's like.

00:31:41.000 I don't want to know.

00:31:42.000 But they know that other people can do whatever they want and work on what they want.

00:31:47.000 What's the place we go to? 0.99

00:31:49.000 What's the fucking place we go to for pastramo when we were at the store? 0.99

00:31:52.000 Cantor's. 0.99

00:31:53.000 We went to Cantor's and they started singing Stay Away to Heaven. 0.99

00:31:56.000 I almost fucking died. 0.97

00:31:57.000 And now they had to sneak the album around. 0.99

00:32:00.000 Like, they still had albums.

00:32:02.000 We're talking about CDs here.

00:32:03.000 They had vinyl, you know?

00:32:05.000 And they were like, you have no idea.

00:32:07.000 Like, if you get caught with that vinyl, you go to jail.

00:32:10.000 Go to jail. 0.51

00:32:11.000 For vinyl.

00:32:11.000 We go to jail here for having a pound of coke.

00:32:13.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:32:14.000 A fucking album. 1.00

00:32:15.000 You go to jail, they write you up, you gotta fuckin' go through some process, you might lose your job, you know. 1.00

00:32:22.000 And they were singing Stand Where to Heaven. 0.93

00:32:24.000 And the way they sang it, and fuckin' we hear it, is two different worlds, man. 0.89

00:32:28.000 It was like, they sang it with heart. 0.92

00:32:30.000 This was big to them.

00:32:31.000 You know, you don't know the overwhelming feeling when You come to America. 1.00

00:32:38.000 People don't know the first time you learn a sentence to a fucking song. 0.99

00:32:42.000 You know how big that is? 0.99

00:32:44.000 The first time you learn how to say cool.

00:32:47.000 Cool.

00:32:48.000 Oh, cool. 0.99

00:32:49.000 And then they'll still fuck it up. 0.97

00:32:54.000 You know, you have no idea what it means to you, you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:32:59.000 Like, to really absorb this, to be a fucking American is huge to an outsider. 1.00

00:33:04.000 We take this for granted every fucking day. 1.00

00:33:06.000 I see these jerk offs walking around. 1.00

00:33:08.000 They have no fucking idea. 1.00

00:33:10.000 They have no idea until you talk to somebody Cuban or you talk to somebody from a country that they've been kind of fucked up. 1.00

00:33:16.000 You know, hey, listen, man, when I live in Boulder, I got nothing to hide. 0.99

00:33:19.000 One of my best friends was a bad-ass Muslim dude, and he wasn't radical. 0.98

00:33:23.000 The reason why I'm here is because he taught me how to fucking read and write. 0.96

00:33:27.000 He helped me with my GED. His name was Muhammad Zabib. 0.97

00:33:29.000 I'll never forget that motherfucker. 1.00

00:33:31.000 And I crack jokes on all that shit, but that was my boy when I lived in Boulder. 1.00

00:33:35.000 He used to bring me hash. 0.99

00:33:36.000 I used to make him smoke reefer. 1.00

00:33:38.000 He taught me how to smoke a fucking cigarette with tobacco. 1.00

00:33:42.000 You know, the Egyptians, whatever those people, they fucking get the fucking tobacco with the weed and the hash. 1.00

00:33:47.000 I almost had a heart attack, though. 1.00

00:33:49.000 And he's over there blasting this fucking thing, like, you know. 0.99

00:33:54.000 And I used to talk to him, like, how is it? 1.00

00:33:56.000 And he would tell me, look at these fucking unappreciative Americans. 1.00

00:34:00.000 He would say it to me all the fucking time. 1.00

00:34:03.000 He came here when he was nine, and the first time he sang a Beatles song, he almost fucking died. 0.99

00:34:09.000 Like to sing a whole Beatles song, you know, like Let It Be or something like that. 0.98

00:34:13.000 That was fucking amazing to him, to learn another language. 0.89

00:34:17.000 It was so overwhelming, you know, to come from someplace where you hear gunfire every night. 0.99

00:34:23.000 Can you imagine living in Israel and hearing machine gun every night? 0.99

00:34:26.000 That's how you fucking go to bed. 0.99

00:34:27.000 And all of a sudden you come here and you move to Studio City. 1.00

00:34:30.000 And you're gluten free and shit. 0.99

00:34:31.000 I had a friend of mine named Shuki. 1.00

00:34:33.000 He was from Israel.

00:34:34.000 He was a kickboxing trainer.

00:34:35.000 Majiro Gym.

00:34:37.000 And he had a place in Tarzana for a while.

00:34:40.000 That's where I met him.

00:34:41.000 And he's an Israeli dude.

00:34:43.000 And him and his family, his wife was Israeli, his kids.

00:34:46.000 And I had dinner over his house once after we worked out, and they brought out bongo drums, dude.

00:34:52.000 And they start playing bongo drums.

00:34:54.000 He's playing bongo drums, and his wife starts dancing, and his kid gets up and starts dancing.

00:34:59.000 And I was like, wow!

00:35:01.000 Like, they're not even drunk, dude.

00:35:02.000 There's not even any alcohol.

00:35:03.000 We're drinking water.

00:35:04.000 They just start dancing, like playing the drums and dancing.

00:35:08.000 And I go, you guys are so happy.

00:35:10.000 Like, you're so...

00:35:11.000 He goes, you know why?

00:35:12.000 He goes, in Israel...

00:35:13.000 I'm doing a terrible accent.

00:35:15.000 In Israel, every day, like, could be death.

00:35:17.000 Every day, could be more war.

00:35:19.000 Every day.

00:35:19.000 So when it's not, it's party, party, party.

00:35:24.000 And that's what he's doing.

00:35:26.000 They're like eating this cool, they had like Israeli food.

00:35:29.000 You know, I don't want to fuck up the names of the food because it was quite a few years ago.

00:35:32.000 But they were eating like the traditional Israeli food and playing the bongo drums and the lady was dancing, the little kid, he has a little son, his son was dancing.

00:35:41.000 I was like, wow.

00:35:43.000 Like I felt like...

00:35:44.000 I felt privileged that they had showed me that.

00:35:47.000 You know, like, I don't know anybody like you.

00:35:50.000 Like, here, I'm hanging out with you.

00:35:51.000 Like, this is their regular night for them. 1.00

00:35:52.000 They do this shit all the time. 1.00

00:35:53.000 They come home. 1.00

00:35:54.000 He comes home from training people.

00:35:56.000 He busts out the bongo drums.

00:35:57.000 The wife starts dancing.

00:35:59.000 They start having a little party.

00:36:00.000 Like, that's just...

00:36:01.000 They're free.

00:36:01.000 They're, like, loose.

00:36:03.000 And his...

00:36:04.000 The way he described it, he was like, in Israel, it's just so dangerous. 1.00

00:36:08.000 You know, especially this is, like...

00:36:11.000 Early 2000s, you know?

00:36:13.000 It's always dangerous over there, though.

00:36:14.000 There's always something going on.

00:36:15.000 They're always involved in conflict.

00:36:17.000 Mandatory.

00:36:18.000 The military is mandatory. 0.56

00:36:20.000 You have to join the military for a certain amount of years.

00:36:22.000 Everybody's military.

00:36:23.000 Everybody's trained.

00:36:24.000 So it's a whole country of, like...

00:36:25.000 And there's, like, a deep camaraderie because there's not that many of them.

00:36:28.000 And they're a small country surrounded by a lot of Arab countries. 0.99

00:36:32.000 And then you add on top of that the fucking partying. 0.99

00:36:34.000 Do-do [...]-do. 0.99

00:36:36.000 Have you ever been at the store with Israeli death squad fans coming over?

00:36:40.000 You've seen them?

00:36:41.000 Have you seen them at the store?

00:36:42.000 Yes.

00:36:43.000 They are.

00:36:43.000 Remember the people you called me and said they were waiting for you?

00:36:45.000 I got stuck at that fucking dumb movie premiere. 0.99

00:36:48.000 Remember? 1.00

00:36:48.000 Those are Israelis. 1.00

00:36:49.000 Yeah.

00:36:50.000 When Israelis come to the store, you better be prepared. 1.00

00:36:54.000 They fucking come heavy duty to the store. 1.00

00:36:57.000 I've been up there a couple of Tuesdays and three of them would step up on me. 0.99

00:37:00.000 We're from Israel!

00:37:01.000 Where's the Flying Jew? 0.98

00:37:02.000 We want a body.

00:37:04.000 Where's the Stars of Dad? 1.00

00:37:06.000 They're fucking nuts. 1.00

00:37:07.000 And you gotta love them. 1.00

00:37:08.000 You gotta love them.

00:37:09.000 They were comics.

00:37:10.000 From listening to Rogan Experience, they started doing comedy.

00:37:14.000 I guess Israel's got a big comedy scene there now.

00:37:17.000 It's just starting now.

00:37:17.000 It's just starting.

00:37:18.000 And they fucking want to be rough comics. 0.99

00:37:20.000 So the one kid's like, I'm trying to do fucking Hitler jokes. 0.99

00:37:23.000 And they're throwing me out of all these places. 0.99

00:37:26.000 I'm fucking howling. 0.99

00:37:27.000 I'm howling. 0.99

00:37:28.000 People are like, what is he talking about? 1.00

00:37:30.000 He's like, I'm doing fucking these dirty Hitler jokes and the Israeli people throwing me out of restaurants and shit. 1.00

00:37:37.000 So he goes, I'm coming to America to do Hitler jokes. 1.00

00:37:42.000 Nothing but heart. 1.00

00:37:44.000 Nothing but heart these motherfuckers. 1.00

00:37:46.000 I'm sitting there going, oh, no. 1.00

00:37:48.000 Where's the flying Jew? 1.00

00:37:50.000 We want to meet him.

00:37:52.000 I'm coming to America to do Hitler jokes. 1.00

00:37:54.000 Oh, my God.

00:37:54.000 He was pissed, this kid.

00:37:56.000 He was serious.

00:37:57.000 He's like, dog, my comedy's a little rough, man. 1.00

00:38:00.000 He goes, I'm up there doing fucking Nazi jokes and shit. 0.99

00:38:03.000 They told me I had the comedy venues. 0.99

00:38:05.000 I actually had him on the Ice House Chronicles.

00:38:06.000 Did you? 1.00

00:38:07.000 You had that crazy motherfucker? 1.00

00:38:08.000 I was like, dude, you're only in town once. 1.00

00:38:09.000 I'm telling you. 1.00

00:38:10.000 You're crazy. 1.00

00:38:10.000 What's his name? 1.00

00:38:11.000 What was his name?

00:38:14.000 Nice kid.

00:38:15.000 Nice guy.

00:38:15.000 And there was two guys.

00:38:16.000 It was two guys.

00:38:16.000 Johnny Nice Guy.

00:38:17.000 And then they came.

00:38:18.000 Well, let's find his name out.

00:38:19.000 A couple of weeks ago, a couple came.

00:38:23.000 An Israeli couple came.

00:38:25.000 They had just gotten married on their honeymoon.

00:38:26.000 They came to the comedy store.

00:38:28.000 That was their honeymoon. 0.99

00:38:29.000 And they were nuts, bro. 0.77

00:38:31.000 They had the bucket with the booze. 0.99

00:38:33.000 They were yelling.

00:38:34.000 They came out, took pictures, hugs, yelling.

00:38:38.000 We love it!

00:38:40.000 Yeah, this kid was real.

00:38:41.000 Yeah, yeah, that's right.

00:38:42.000 I'm telling you.

00:38:43.000 That night I left, I was like, this is real. 0.99

00:38:46.000 We're getting motherfuckers from Israel to come over here to meet Death Squad and do comedy. 1.00

00:38:52.000 And he was really funny. 0.99

00:38:54.000 And he was really funny.

00:38:55.000 Joe, Joe.

00:38:55.000 Did he do stand-up?

00:38:56.000 Did he do the show?

00:38:56.000 Yeah, he did Kill Tony.

00:38:58.000 That's how I met him.

00:38:59.000 And then I invited him to the Ice House.

00:39:01.000 Because if somebody does really good on Kill Tony, I'll invite him on to the Friday show.

00:39:05.000 And so he was great.

00:39:06.000 And he did the podcast and everything.

00:39:08.000 What's his name?

00:39:09.000 I'm looking at it.

00:39:11.000 He went back to Israel.

00:39:12.000 He's coming back.

00:39:13.000 Because he sent me an email.

00:39:14.000 I had a blast.

00:39:16.000 That's awesome.

00:39:17.000 You know, we were getting a lot of Australian people showing up at the store.

00:39:21.000 Australian people at the store and at the Ice House, too.

00:39:24.000 And they go on, like, these comedy tourist vacations.

00:39:28.000 Like, Australia, they get, like, a month off of work.

00:39:32.000 If you're lucky, if you have a really good company, you get two weeks off, right?

00:39:36.000 And they usually encourage you to not take both those weeks, right?

00:39:38.000 They'll incentivize you, right?

00:39:40.000 Isn't that how it works, normally?

00:39:41.000 But in Australia, I think they get a whole month off. 1.00

00:39:44.000 So I think these motherfuckers just go on vacation. 1.00

00:39:47.000 They just go chill places. 1.00

00:39:49.000 You know, Joe Rogan, you get into comedy, Jamie.

00:39:53.000 You do well in whatever market you start in.

00:39:57.000 You come to LA or New York and you succeed and they value, you know, whatever success you think it is, getting on a TV show or movies, which is becoming a really funny comic and working, I never dreamed of what's going on now.

00:40:13.000 Every time I wake up, my feet hit the floor.

00:40:16.000 I thank God for what's going on now.

00:40:19.000 I don't want to do movies.

00:40:21.000 I don't want to do TV. I just want this movement to keep growing.

00:40:25.000 This is not what I intended.

00:40:27.000 This is all new to me, man.

00:40:29.000 This is all new to me.

00:40:31.000 And nobody asked for this.

00:40:34.000 Most comics ask for success, to be rich and famous.

00:40:38.000 The success we're getting is something different, man. 0.98

00:40:41.000 We're fucking reaching the globe. 0.96

00:40:46.000 You know, in his fucking heyday, and I'm not saying that, you know, yeah, Howard was big here. 0.99

00:40:52.000 These little podcasts are reaching the fucking globe, Joe Rogan. 0.99

00:40:55.000 Was that his name? 0.99

00:40:56.000 I think so.

00:40:57.000 You know, when I'm at the store and somebody comes up to me from Switzerland or Finland or wherever they're from that's not California, and they're like, we came out to the store to see you.

00:41:08.000 They do. 0.98

00:41:09.000 They're doing these comedy fucking vacations. 0.99

00:41:13.000 And you get in your car... 0.99

00:41:15.000 Can you pronounce that?

00:41:16.000 And you drive home and you don't even know where this is coming from. 0.99

00:41:21.000 Last night some girl came from like fucking Hong Kong and gave me a present up at the fucking Hong Kong Gardens in Mentora last night. 0.99

00:41:28.000 She was here for Christmas. 1.00

00:41:30.000 She was like, listen to you in Hong fucking Kong. 0.99

00:41:34.000 You never dreamt of that? 0.99

00:41:36.000 No.

00:41:36.000 And that's a way different type of success, man.

00:41:39.000 Well, there's definitely something happening because of these podcasts where you're getting this connection with people.

00:41:45.000 Like, I did shows in Australia, and they might as well have been in Irvine.

00:41:48.000 You know, just a bunch of cool people.

00:41:49.000 They just had different accents.

00:41:51.000 What's his name?

00:41:52.000 Tal Mordahay? 0.60

00:41:53.000 Tal Mordahay Jr. Tal Mordahay.

00:41:55.000 T-A-L-N-A-V-E-J-R on Twitter.

00:41:59.000 Alright, alright, alright.

00:42:01.000 I'll check that dude out.

00:42:02.000 But yeah, no one, we never thought this.

00:42:05.000 I mean, Brian, this is like, we're almost at our 6th anniversary, right?

00:42:08.000 I know.

00:42:09.000 This is our 6th anniversary.

00:42:10.000 Christmas Eve, actually.

00:42:12.000 Or is it New Year's Eve?

00:42:13.000 Somewhere around now.

00:42:14.000 Somewhere in this area.

00:42:16.000 I want to say it was the 29th.

00:42:17.000 No, I remember it was Christmas Eve because it was weird doing it on Christmas Eve.

00:42:22.000 I'm pretty sure it was...

00:42:23.000 It was totally this month.

00:42:25.000 Whenever it was, it was definitely this month.

00:42:27.000 Six years ago. 0.94

00:42:28.000 Just fucking around on Ustream. 0.98

00:42:30.000 Just answering questions, you know? 0.99

00:42:33.000 The pre-hiv days.

00:42:34.000 Bored.

00:42:35.000 Bored.

00:42:37.000 I had a good time last night, and it's weird.

00:42:39.000 I do this at Hong Kong Gardens.

00:42:41.000 I'll tell you why I like this place.

00:42:43.000 I like the comedy scene.

00:42:45.000 Like a Ventura comedy scene.

00:42:46.000 I like the Ventura comedy scene because it reminds me of...

00:42:49.000 They have a porn comic. 0.93

00:42:51.000 They have black comics. 0.97

00:42:53.000 What's that mean? 1.00

00:42:54.000 She's a chick that does porn. 1.00

00:42:56.000 I was definitely doing that. 1.00

00:42:58.000 I was having two people fucking behind me and me doing like three minutes. 0.95

00:43:01.000 It's a good move. 1.00

00:43:02.000 And fucking... 0.99

00:43:04.000 I was just thinking about doing this. 0.99

00:43:05.000 You know how Seinfeld does comedy in cars, coffee with cars?

00:43:08.000 I don't want to see nobody drinking coffee. 0.91

00:43:10.000 What if I did stand-up and behind me there's a bed and there's a chick getting plowed for three minutes and I just do a bit and then we fucking end the bit. 1.00

00:43:16.000 That's it. 0.96

00:43:16.000 Yeah, if you can get them in the right position where your head covers all the naughty parts. 0.96

00:43:21.000 What do you think?

00:43:21.000 Yeah, this is what I'm saying.

00:43:23.000 You can see the top of his ass as he peeks right above the back of your head, and that's it. 1.00

00:43:30.000 It's just the top of his ass is all you can see. 1.00

00:43:32.000 But isn't YouTube like Sons of Anarchy, you can see that guy fucking a chick. 1.00

00:43:35.000 They don't show his dick or his pussy. 1.00

00:43:37.000 It's like late night cable. 1.00

00:43:38.000 It's on HBO. Can't you show, like, a guy's muffler while you're doing stand-up with a suit and a tuxedo on?

00:43:43.000 I don't think you can show buttholes on, but you can't show a butt. 0.56

00:43:46.000 Like, as long as you don't see the actual hole. 0.99

00:43:48.000 You could show a naked butt. 1.00

00:43:49.000 On YouTube? 1.00

00:43:50.000 Yeah, yeah, definitely. 1.00

00:43:51.000 Naked man or a woman's butt. 1.00

00:43:53.000 But you can't show the hole. 1.00

00:43:55.000 Yeah, you can. 0.99

00:43:55.000 During sex? 0.99

00:43:57.000 I mean, if they were just sitting there with a butt in the air, maybe. 0.99

00:44:00.000 But it feels fucking... 0.98

00:44:01.000 With YouTube, all it takes is a few people complaining. 0.98

00:44:04.000 Yeah.

00:44:04.000 And you get taken down.

00:44:05.000 Like, you can get taken down for offensive shit. 0.98

00:44:07.000 Or they make it, you click on that thing that says you're over 18. They could set it up like that. 0.99

00:44:12.000 Except that I saw somebody, I think Kristina Pajitzky, post a natural childbirth video the other day that was on YouTube. 0.66

00:44:19.000 And that was one of the most graphical, disgusting things.

00:44:22.000 Yeah, but it's nature.

00:44:23.000 Beautiful.

00:44:24.000 It's nature. 0.57

00:44:25.000 But that scene up there, it's just a bunch of young guys that the club broke their balls, and now they have open mics seven nights a week. 0.96

00:44:33.000 So if the club owner wouldn't have broken their balls, these kids wouldn't have done that. 0.97

00:44:38.000 You know, you have always been one of those guys that a lot of clubs in the beginning, you know, you were too dirty for a lot of clubs. 0.99

00:44:44.000 That's why you worked at Dick Doherty fucking rooms, because... 0.99

00:44:47.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:47.000 But it's so weird. 0.99

00:44:48.000 So when you represent them, I'm one of those guys.

00:44:50.000 I didn't, you know... 0.99

00:44:52.000 I had a fucking... 0.99

00:44:53.000 Seattle Underground was the one where I nurtured with Ron Reed in those days because that was a club and they accepted crazy people. 0.99

00:45:01.000 Yeah, all of us.

00:45:02.000 We were all up there.

00:45:03.000 You know the difference? 0.98

00:45:04.000 When you're young and you suck, which I definitely did, and you're not dirty, at least you're not hurting anybody's feelings. 0.98

00:45:11.000 You're not offensive. 1.00

00:45:13.000 But, if you're young and you suck and you're dirty, you're disgusting. 1.00

00:45:18.000 Like, you're gonna just say the most disgusting... 1.00

00:45:20.000 You're not gonna know where the line is, so you're gonna fuck up. 0.99

00:45:23.000 Yeah, but the first 18 months of my comedy career, I was clean. 0.98

00:45:27.000 Until I saw Lenny Clark's video, and then I started going off a little bit more.

00:45:30.000 Really?

00:45:30.000 18 months?

00:45:31.000 Yeah, because everybody put this fear of God into me. 0.98

00:45:34.000 So I used to wear, like, a nerdy suit and go up there and tell fucking jokes about whatever.

00:45:40.000 Well, I've always said that you are the guy that surprised me the most with how you figured comedy out, like almost, you hit this point. 0.94

00:45:49.000 Like when I first met you, and you were first doing the store, You would be the funniest guy in the world in that parking lot.

00:45:57.000 Like we would all hang out in the parking lot.

00:45:59.000 You would just be killing everybody in the parking lot.

00:46:02.000 But then you would get on stage and you would stiffen up.

00:46:05.000 Like you didn't have the same relaxed way that you had.

00:46:11.000 No, I couldn't convert what I was doing outside the stage to the stage.

00:46:16.000 It's funny how I had this conversation yesterday by a guy named Charlie Barnett.

00:46:20.000 Yeah.

00:46:20.000 That when I watched Charlie Barnett, I really, really got it because he was the first guy.

00:46:24.000 You know how people say, well, he's a one-trick pony.

00:46:27.000 Okay.

00:46:27.000 But at least he brings himself to...

00:46:29.000 Charlie Barnett was a stand-up comic at Washington Square Park with Dave Chappelle as his fucking apprentice. 0.99

00:46:34.000 Right. 1.00

00:46:35.000 As his fucking apprentice. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:37.000 And then he did DC Cab, and then he did a couple serious seasons of Miami Vice, so he beat up Don Johnson because he was just crazy, a nook man, whatever his name was. 0.99

00:46:45.000 But he transformed who he was from the stage and person to the... 0.96

00:46:50.000 To the screen, which is, I always looked at, that's really fucking hard.

00:46:53.000 And that's what I always wanted to do. 0.62

00:46:55.000 Not in the screen, but just the stage.

00:46:57.000 How to get Joey Diaz on the stage.

00:47:00.000 I didn't really want people to see the real Joey Diaz.

00:47:03.000 I always was ashamed of Joey Diaz.

00:47:05.000 So I didn't want people to really want to see Joey Diaz.

00:47:07.000 So I worked clean.

00:47:09.000 But then I watched that Dice thing again and Lenny Clark.

00:47:12.000 Because I got on stage because of Dice.

00:47:15.000 But people were like, oh, you don't want to be dirty because people won't give you work. 1.00

00:47:19.000 So I actually fell for that shit. 1.00

00:47:21.000 We all did. 1.00

00:47:22.000 And then I wore the suit like Lenny Clark. 0.99

00:47:24.000 But I couldn't sell a joke in the suit even if I fucking wanted to. 0.97

00:47:28.000 I couldn't sell it in a suit. 0.97

00:47:30.000 And that's where eventually I lost the suit.

00:47:33.000 You know, you just have to lose things and you're just learning through a process, you know.

00:47:37.000 And at the store, you know where I got it?

00:47:39.000 In the belly room one night.

00:47:41.000 That's where it came to me.

00:47:43.000 Wheels was doing a show on a Thursday night at 11. There was like 13 people up there.

00:47:48.000 And I was bombing anyway.

00:47:50.000 And I remember I turned...

00:47:52.000 To my side, and for some reason, I took myself back to a corner.

00:47:56.000 I watched that movie with Al Pacino about football, and he has a great speech for Jamie Foxx one time.

00:48:03.000 He brings him to the side, and he goes, Listen, man, we got two minutes on the clock.

00:48:07.000 We're going back to when you were a kid.

00:48:09.000 Your mom just called you in for dinner.

00:48:10.000 You got one play left. 0.99

00:48:12.000 Remember, he used to run to the car and make a left, do the same fucking thing, and he scored a touchdown. 0.99

00:48:16.000 And sometimes we forget about that. 0.95

00:48:18.000 So what I did was I twisted my body around, and I put myself on the corner of 78 in Kennedy Boulevard, where I used to make fun of this guy with the limp, look at that janitor with the one eye, and that's when it started.

00:48:31.000 I stopped looking at them, and I remembered who I was.

00:48:34.000 I was letting them judge me with their eyes.

00:48:36.000 And I turned that, and I'll never forget that.

00:48:38.000 I remember going home and going, I'm onto something.

00:48:41.000 And then little by little, I started being me more up on stage.

00:48:44.000 It was real quick.

00:48:46.000 And I stopped listening.

00:48:47.000 The problem is we listen.

00:48:49.000 Well, they won't do this unless you're clean.

00:48:52.000 Oh, if you go for a showcase at the improv, you can't do this.

00:48:56.000 You have to be yourself.

00:48:58.000 Unless you're going to be yourself, you'll never move forward.

00:49:01.000 You'll never move forward in comedy.

00:49:03.000 You have to tap into this if you don't.

00:49:06.000 And everybody did it.

00:49:07.000 Everybody goes up there doing hokey jokes in the beginning.

00:49:10.000 It's no shame.

00:49:11.000 It's no embarrassment. 0.99

00:49:12.000 You do topical material and shit. 0.99

00:49:14.000 But once you start comparing that topical material with what's going on in your life and you open that up, it becomes a monster. 0.97

00:49:21.000 It takes a long time, though.

00:49:22.000 Or it takes some people longer than others But it's the work, Joe Rogan.

00:49:28.000 It's always been the work, man.

00:49:30.000 You know, I was watching Chapelle on stage. 0.99

00:49:33.000 Jesus fucking Christ, Joe. 0.99

00:49:34.000 I see the 30 years. 1.00

00:49:36.000 I see your 20 years.

00:49:38.000 But I see his 30 years.

00:49:41.000 I see that six or five year difference.

00:49:44.000 He looks at a joke really differently.

00:49:47.000 Well, he was great even when he was 19. Yes, he was.

00:49:50.000 I called him the Boston Comedy Club in 93 for Men in Tights.

00:49:54.000 I paid.

00:49:55.000 It was him, Nick DiPaolo.

00:49:56.000 What an open mic.

00:49:58.000 And he always had something.

00:50:00.000 Yeah, he's got a way of telling stories, too.

00:50:02.000 He's got a genuinely appealing way.

00:50:05.000 He delivers his material.

00:50:07.000 Like, it makes you want to laugh.

00:50:09.000 But you have a lot of that, too, man.

00:50:11.000 You have a lot of that too.

00:50:12.000 You have a lot of that genuinely appealing.

00:50:14.000 You have a different kind of chaos when you're on stage.

00:50:19.000 What I was going to say is that it happened really quick.

00:50:22.000 You went from being a guy who had a really hard time on stage most of the time, and then all of a sudden you were murdering, man. 0.95

00:50:29.000 Just murdering. 0.69

00:50:30.000 Just murdering.

00:50:32.000 I remember one time, we were doing gigs together, like, we were doing gigs together in the 90s.

00:50:39.000 98. Yeah, in the late 90s we did some road gigs, we did a bunch of road gigs, and I remember Remember when I knew that you had caught fire?

00:50:47.000 Because we were in New Jersey.

00:50:50.000 And I think this might have been even before Fear Factor.

00:50:53.000 We were in New Jersey and you just caught fire.

00:50:56.000 We were at that Old Rascals.

00:50:58.000 And I went, whoa. 0.97

00:51:00.000 And I remember thinking, like, Joey just fucking hit this totally different level. 0.95

00:51:05.000 Like, you just figured out how to be you. 0.97

00:51:07.000 And you were on stage.

00:51:08.000 And a lot of it was because you were in Jersey and You know, and there were animals.

00:51:12.000 You remember that club?

00:51:13.000 That club was filled with savages.

00:51:15.000 It was so fun.

00:51:16.000 That Rascals Club?

00:51:18.000 Jesus Christ, that was fun.

00:51:20.000 Where was that?

00:51:21.000 In West Orange.

00:51:22.000 Yes, West Orange. 1.00

00:51:24.000 God damn. 0.99

00:51:24.000 And then there was the other one down the shore, which wasn't, it was really fun, but it was more like white people. 0.99

00:51:28.000 It was like more relaxed. 0.96

00:51:30.000 That one was filled with all sorts of freaks.

00:51:34.000 It was a great club.

00:51:36.000 So much fun. 0.98

00:51:36.000 And down the block was like a strip club from that one, like a really cold strip club with Russian chicks that had no heat. 0.98

00:51:42.000 And the other comic took me in there.

00:51:44.000 I forget who the headliner was.

00:51:45.000 I was freezing in there.

00:51:48.000 Freezing.

00:51:48.000 That was creepy.

00:51:49.000 But it was a fun rascals.

00:51:51.000 All those rascals. 0.67

00:51:51.000 What was the dude's name that ran it again? 0.67

00:51:53.000 Haddu.

00:51:53.000 Got the beautiful hair?

00:51:54.000 Haddu.

00:51:55.000 What was his name?

00:51:55.000 He'll call me today.

00:51:56.000 Okay.

00:51:57.000 I have his number in there.

00:51:58.000 Now forget his name.

00:51:59.000 He'll call me today to wish me a Merry Christmas after all those years.

00:52:03.000 That's awesome.

00:52:04.000 Because somebody will tell him that.

00:52:06.000 Last time or the time before we mentioned him, he called me that night.

00:52:09.000 He owns a restaurant now in Jersey.

00:52:11.000 Really?

00:52:12.000 So visit him.

00:52:13.000 The busboys went in there going, oh, my God, Joe Rogan was talking about you. 1.00

00:52:17.000 Some young college kids are like his waiters or waitresses or whatever the fuck they are. 0.99

00:52:21.000 He was always a good dude. 0.98

00:52:22.000 He was always a good dude.

00:52:24.000 It's great to go down to the store now.

00:52:27.000 And just sit in the back and watch comedy and not say a word.

00:52:30.000 I watched Norm, I watched Arsenio, and I watched Ron White.

00:52:36.000 You know what he's talking about?

00:52:38.000 He should have taken the money now.

00:52:40.000 Dave Chappelle. 0.99

00:52:41.000 I almost fucking died. 0.99

00:52:43.000 He goes, I should have taken the money. 1.00

00:52:44.000 I should have put my two feet down and taken the money and shit. 0.99

00:52:51.000 He's an interesting guy, isn't he? 0.88

00:52:53.000 Because he doesn't really put material out anymore. 0.87

00:52:55.000 He's just killing it, writing new shit, killing it everywhere, but he's not, like, doing specials. 0.93

00:53:01.000 I wonder if he's, like, thinking about doing a special. 0.99

00:53:03.000 Oh, I'm sure.

00:53:04.000 They've made him ten offers to do a special.

00:53:06.000 Yeah, but, I mean, I wonder if he even wants to, because he's so different than anybody.

00:53:09.000 Like, you can't predict that guy.

00:53:12.000 Like, what he's done so far is so unusual.

00:53:16.000 Like, they offer him this big money to do this thing, and he's like, you know what? 1.00

00:53:18.000 Fuck this. 1.00

00:53:19.000 I'm going to Africa. 1.00

00:53:20.000 Like, he goes to Africa.

00:53:21.000 You know, and then he starts doing shows in parks.

00:53:24.000 Like, Dave will have, like, people maybe never heard these stories, but he would show up with, like, a PA system, like a little portable PA system in a park in Seattle, and he would put this little PA system down and just start doing stand-up in the park.

00:53:36.000 Can Jeremy find something on YouTube?

00:53:39.000 Yeah, sure.

00:53:39.000 Jeremy, can you look at Charlie Barnett on Washington Square Park?

00:53:42.000 Yeah, I've met Charlie.

00:53:44.000 No, I met him.

00:53:45.000 Just to show Redman the gift.

00:53:49.000 Well, tell everybody what he used to do.

00:53:50.000 He used to do shows outside.

00:53:52.000 Just like he would just show up and he would drop his hat on the ground.

00:53:56.000 And do a stand-up comedy routine.

00:53:58.000 And ask people to contribute, throw money in his hat.

00:54:00.000 Wait, look at this.

00:54:02.000 I used to go to McSorley's and get eight volumes for $10 and three mugs for $1.

00:54:06.000 Bring it back to the beginning, Jimmy, and put the volume up so we could hear it.

00:54:10.000 Look at this Redman.

00:54:15.000 The volume's not working?

00:54:18.000 We've got some form of a sound issue, ladies and gentlemen.

00:54:21.000 But what we're seeing for people that are just listening is this guy, Charlie Barnett, who has since passed away.

00:54:27.000 He's wearing, like, some red track pants and a white t-shirt and a white baseball hat.

00:54:31.000 And he's got this huge group of people circling him.

00:54:35.000 And he's in the middle of a park.

00:54:36.000 He just set up and he's doing stand-up comedy.

00:54:39.000 Like, he's doing with no microphone.

00:54:43.000 Here he goes.

00:54:46.000 Puerto Ricans!

00:54:48.000 Puerto Ricans! 1.00

00:54:51.000 We got a lot of fucking Puerto Ricans! 1.00

00:54:54.000 But I'm not going to fuck with the Puerto Ricans, man, because y'all born with knives. 1.00

00:55:00.000 You'll cut me up and I won't even know what you're saying. 1.00

00:55:02.000 And when you finish, you go, Because I got into a fight with a Puerto Rican kid, and I was winning. 0.89

00:55:12.000 I was bouncing around like Sugar Ray Linen.

00:55:15.000 I was bam, bam, bam.

00:55:16.000 He was only about that tall.

00:55:19.000 Then all of a sudden, he went like this.

00:55:22.000 And I was surrounded by a small Puerto Rican family of 4,000.

00:55:28.000 I like everything, man.

00:55:30.000 Let me borrow it, okay?

00:55:33.000 So he would do these shows. 0.97

00:55:36.000 I like the way white women walk with their pocketbook when there's no negroes around. 1.00

00:55:41.000 I don't see no niggas. 1.00

00:55:44.000 And you know what else I like about New York?

00:55:46.000 I like the way different nationalities go to work.

00:55:50.000 Everybody goes to work different.

00:55:52.000 For instance, Caucasian businessman.

00:55:54.000 I need some white people glasses. 1.00

00:55:57.000 He's like walking around borrowing shit from people. 1.00

00:55:59.000 He's been holding his lady's purse. 1.00

00:56:02.000 What year is this? 1.00

00:56:05.000 Damn, you can't see shit! 1.00

00:56:10.000 I can touch my dick! 1.00

00:56:15.000 How do white guys go to work? 1.00

00:56:17.000 They got their briefcase?

00:56:19.000 I can walk just like the white man going to work.

00:56:21.000 Watch this, white guys. 0.94

00:56:26.000 This is so corny.

00:56:28.000 I love when they stand on a corner and go... 0.97

00:56:34.000 And how do black folks go to work? 1.00

00:56:35.000 We be talking about... 1.00

00:56:37.000 Fuck it, I should get there by payday here. 1.00

00:56:45.000 Just to show people what it was. 1.00

00:56:48.000 I mean, this is a guy outside.

00:56:50.000 Listen, the reason why you have a microphone is for control.

00:56:53.000 Yeah.

00:56:53.000 He had no microphone.

00:56:55.000 He's still fucking controlling him. 0.99

00:56:56.000 You didn't see no... 0.99

00:56:56.000 I mean, he got to the point where people were going down there. 0.99

00:56:59.000 This was by, like, a college.

00:57:01.000 And my friend was a junkie.

00:57:03.000 And I was like 16. And he used to go come over to the city with me and I'd buy you some Valiums.

00:57:08.000 I'd go into the park and get heroin and wait for me at the bar.

00:57:10.000 He would get me served.

00:57:12.000 He'd get me three mugs of Budweiser.

00:57:14.000 And I'd sit there.

00:57:15.000 He'd come back when the second mug was gone.

00:57:17.000 Give me my eight pills.

00:57:18.000 I'd take two of them.

00:57:20.000 And then he'd go shoot heroin. 1.00

00:57:21.000 And I'd go, fuck it, let me go walk around the park. 1.00

00:57:23.000 And I saw this. 1.00

00:57:24.000 One time I saw this.

00:57:26.000 And I was in shock.

00:57:27.000 I'm like, I didn't like stand-up comedy.

00:57:29.000 I knew none.

00:57:29.000 I knew Richard Pryor and George Carlin and David Brenner.

00:57:32.000 And I'm watching this guy going, what the fuck is this? 0.99

00:57:35.000 And next thing you know, I sat down, I started getting high, and I watched it. 0.99

00:57:39.000 And I asked around.

00:57:40.000 They said, he's here every weekend or something, and this is what he does.

00:57:43.000 Then years later, I found out that he would do that for four or five hours.

00:57:47.000 But he would take breaks, and Dave Chappelle.

00:57:50.000 Coming as a young kid, Dave Chappelle would take the bus from D.C. or something, and go up there and do little sets in between them.

00:57:56.000 That's awesome.

00:57:57.000 He died from ba-banging. 0.93

00:57:59.000 Yeah.

00:57:59.000 He died from the hiv.

00:58:00.000 He's the real deal, that dude. 1.00

00:58:02.000 He was an old New York icon-type fucking junkie. 0.99

00:58:04.000 Yeah, he was a heroin guy, right? 1.00

00:58:06.000 A heroin guy.

00:58:07.000 But it was just weird that he did...

00:58:08.000 I watched all those.

00:58:09.000 I didn't know that somebody had taped them.

00:58:11.000 That's amazing.

00:58:12.000 I did a show with Chappelle in Montreal at the Comedy Festival in the 90s.

00:58:17.000 I forget what year it was.

00:58:18.000 But after the show was over, we did it at Club Soda.

00:58:21.000 We go downstairs and Dave just puts on a show on the street in Montreal.

00:58:26.000 People just walking by.

00:58:28.000 It's like, gather round, gather round!

00:58:30.000 And he just starts doing stand-up.

00:58:32.000 He did stand-up for like 20 people.

00:58:33.000 On the street.

00:58:35.000 There was a telephone pole.

00:58:38.000 He incorporated the pole into his routine. 0.99

00:58:40.000 He had a hat.

00:58:41.000 He put the hat down, asked people to put money in it.

00:58:44.000 He just got off stage. 1.00

00:58:46.000 So he did a professional show, went downstairs, was outside, and just said, fuck it. 0.99

00:58:50.000 I'm going to do my own impromptu show out here on the street. 0.99

00:58:53.000 It was fascinating.

00:58:55.000 I mean, who other than Charlie and him ever...

00:58:58.000 Have you ever even heard of doing that?

00:58:59.000 I mean, sure, some people have done it, but those are the only two guys I've ever heard.

00:59:03.000 Who was the black guy that did Venice Beach all the time? 0.98

00:59:06.000 Michael Collier?

00:59:07.000 Yes, yes.

00:59:08.000 He's been in a bunch of movies and stuff.

00:59:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:59:09.000 That's true, right?

00:59:11.000 He did a bunch of different stuff.

00:59:12.000 Did you ever have to do a show out?

00:59:13.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, he did the Milwaukee one for a bunch of kids and shit out in the tent, but did you ever do a little something?

00:59:18.000 Summerfest.

00:59:19.000 Like, I had to do comedy on a bus one time for people.

00:59:23.000 People going to a Disney event, they called me up when I was in New York, 75 bucks for an hour.

00:59:29.000 Get on the bus and go from Sea Caucus to New York and three comics, gotta get up and do comedy. 0.98

00:59:34.000 What a fucking bombing that was. 0.99

00:59:35.000 That was a bombing experience, bro. 1.00

00:59:38.000 Jesus Christ.

00:59:39.000 Those gigs.

00:59:41.000 I did a spot at the New York Comedy Club one time, and after I get off, I probably got eight minutes, dawg.

00:59:47.000 And six of it is just god-awful.

00:59:49.000 And I get off the stage, and some guy's like, hey, man, do you want to do my wife's birthday party?

00:59:54.000 I'm like, sure.

00:59:55.000 And he's like, what do you want?

00:59:57.000 I'm like, I don't know.

00:59:57.000 What do you use?

00:59:58.000 He goes, I'll give you, like, $1,500.

01:00:01.000 Done!

01:00:02.000 He gives me the address of Alpine, New Jersey.

01:00:04.000 Off 9W, you make the right bangle with cliffs. 0.98

01:00:08.000 I fucking take a cab up there. 0.97

01:00:09.000 I'm about to score 1500. Man, you know me. 0.99

01:00:12.000 At that time, I'm still looking for purses. 0.99

01:00:14.000 I was still a half a little fucking klepto. 0.97

01:00:17.000 So, like, you ready to go? 0.99

01:00:18.000 Yeah, where's the microphone?

01:00:19.000 They're like, there's no microphone.

01:00:20.000 You gotta go over by the pool.

01:00:22.000 On the other side of the pool, there's rocks.

01:00:24.000 And stand on top of the rocks.

01:00:25.000 Stand-up comedy.

01:00:27.000 Dog, they were 80 yards away from me.

01:00:29.000 I'm up there telling Godzilla jokes.

01:00:31.000 Dying a slow death of death.

01:00:32.000 Godzilla jokes.

01:00:33.000 I get off.

01:00:34.000 I was so embarrassed.

01:00:37.000 That the guy's like, listen, I only got like $900 in cash.

01:00:40.000 You want a check?

01:00:40.000 I go, no, no, no.

01:00:41.000 Just give me the $900.

01:00:41.000 I'll take it.

01:00:42.000 I took that $900 and I walked.

01:00:44.000 I started walking. 0.99

01:00:45.000 Some guy hitchhiked and picked me up and I fucking... 0.98

01:00:48.000 Made him drop me at the bridge and I walked over the bridge and got like an eight ball of coke. 0.99

01:00:52.000 I was so embarrassed though.

01:00:54.000 Did you really have Godzilla jokes?

01:00:56.000 Oh yeah, I used to have a Godzilla.

01:00:57.000 Do you remember what it is?

01:00:58.000 Yeah, that Godzilla would never attack New York City.

01:01:01.000 Okay?

01:01:02.000 Because, can you imagine Godzilla coming out of the Hudson and going rawr? 0.99

01:01:07.000 All the pollution and shit, he'd go like this and go back in the water. 0.99

01:01:10.000 Horrible. 0.99

01:01:11.000 That was my big joke.

01:01:13.000 That was my big joke.

01:01:14.000 That was it.

01:01:15.000 That was it.

01:01:16.000 I thought that was...

01:01:17.000 At that time, the Puerto Rican...

01:01:20.000 Something happened with the Puerto Rican Navy.

01:01:22.000 They bumped into a...

01:01:25.000 They bumped into a barge, like some Puerto Rican cruise boat, bumped into a barge on the New York side, and they broke the barge, so everybody on the boat had to jump... 0.97

01:01:34.000 at the time, everybody had to jump into the fucking water, and that was the joke. 0.94

01:01:38.000 I said, you know, last Tuesday in New York, a bus full of... 0.99

01:01:42.000 a cruise boat of Puerto Ricans hit the thing. 0.99

01:01:46.000 40 Puerto Ricans in the Hudson.

01:01:48.000 That's nothing new.

01:01:49.000 That was my other big closer.

01:01:50.000 That was it.

01:01:51.000 That's nothing new.

01:01:54.000 It's environmental and racist.

01:01:55.000 That's it.

01:01:57.000 Somebody told me they're cleaning up the Hudson.

01:01:58.000 Is that true?

01:02:01.000 Listen, they couldn't clean up the Hudson if they wanted to. 0.99

01:02:05.000 You know how many fucking sperm loads I shot in there off the Binghamton boat when I was a kid? 0.98

01:02:10.000 I used to go to the Binghamton boat for dinner, and they had a movie theater in Edgewater, New Jersey. 0.99

01:02:15.000 Edgewater is Copland, where they shot Copland.

01:02:17.000 That's what Edgewater was supposed to be.

01:02:19.000 And my friend had a restaurant, H&B Diner.

01:02:21.000 I used to go down there.

01:02:23.000 Exactly where they shot that bar.

01:02:25.000 I used to go in there and buy little bottles of blackberry brandy for us when we were kids. 0.99

01:02:29.000 And they redid all that shit down there. 0.98

01:02:32.000 Have you seen that in New York? 0.99

01:02:33.000 No. 0.99

01:02:34.000 That is beautiful fucking now. 0.99

01:02:35.000 That's where I stay now. 0.99

01:02:36.000 I stay in Edgewater.

01:02:37.000 Really?

01:02:38.000 I take the ferry over.

01:02:40.000 How long does that take?

01:02:41.000 The ferry?

01:02:41.000 Ten minutes.

01:02:43.000 I take the ferry over. 1.00

01:02:44.000 I jump in my fucking cab. 0.99

01:02:45.000 I go to 20th Street. 1.00

01:02:46.000 I do Gotham.

01:02:47.000 I do the stand.

01:02:48.000 I take the cab back to the ferry.

01:02:50.000 How hard would it be to live in New York and take a boat across from New Jersey?

01:02:54.000 Every day?

01:02:55.000 People do it every day.

01:02:56.000 How many people have their own boats?

01:02:58.000 I gave the card to Ari. 0.97

01:02:59.000 Oh, a lot of people, but I gave the card to Ari. 1.00

01:03:01.000 I would think that that would be like a smart move.

01:03:03.000 Yeah.

01:03:03.000 Just get your own boat?

01:03:05.000 You get a boat.

01:03:05.000 Yeah, you go across the river.

01:03:07.000 And drive across to the Hudson, dock it, and then go do your thing?

01:03:09.000 Yeah.

01:03:09.000 Is that what Louis does?

01:03:10.000 Isn't he a big boat guy who has his own boat?

01:03:13.000 He definitely has a boat.

01:03:14.000 I don't know if that's what he does.

01:03:15.000 I think he lives in Manhattan, though.

01:03:18.000 But I mean, I feel like it wouldn't be that hard to get across that water.

01:03:23.000 Like, it's just water.

01:03:24.000 Just get across. 1.00

01:03:25.000 It's way better than those stupid bridges. 0.99

01:03:27.000 Like, if you could figure out a way to live like that, just take Ubers on one side, park your car on the other, that's the way to go, right? 0.99

01:03:37.000 Yeah, I love New York, but...

01:03:39.000 They're taking that city down eventually.

01:03:42.000 You don't need to be a genius or a scholar or Nostradamus. 1.00

01:03:46.000 Stupid Joey Dears. 1.00

01:03:47.000 When you pull up to Lincoln Tunnel now, dog, there's guys in full fucking gear with Nazi helmets, fucking machine guns under their arms and dogs. 1.00

01:03:56.000 And they go up to every fucking car, dog, and there's fucking 50 of them. 1.00

01:04:00.000 The bridges, you see them everywhere. 1.00

01:04:02.000 When I went to take my wife to the tree at the Saks Fifth Avenue, you could see the motherfuckin' snipers up on the fuckin' roofs, dog. 0.99

01:04:10.000 They ain't fuckin' around. 0.99

01:04:11.000 And when you're walkin' around New York, you're like, I could see this. 0.74

01:04:15.000 They're really goin' after the bridge, like my friends work.

01:04:18.000 Oh, Gino! 0.98

01:04:19.000 They work at Hoboken and all those guys, and when I did the whatever factory now, I guess all these cops have to do details, because they wanna take that bridge out, dog. 0.98

01:04:29.000 And they want to take that fucking bridge out and that tunnel. 0.98

01:04:32.000 That's going to be a nightmare. 0.99

01:04:33.000 When I was walking around New York, I tell you, I could see it.

01:04:35.000 I could see how it could go down, man. 1.00

01:04:38.000 That's a big city with a lot of fucking people, Joe Rogan. 0.99

01:04:41.000 It's tough to control all those people in that area, you know what I mean? 0.99

01:04:45.000 It's so much different than any other city, too.

01:04:47.000 My God, man.

01:04:48.000 When you get there, the magnitude of it all just kind of sets in.

01:04:52.000 You're like, no wonder why people can't leave this place.

01:04:54.000 If you get used to this, there's no place like that place.

01:04:57.000 Never.

01:04:57.000 It's so bizarre.

01:04:58.000 It's 7 million-plus people smushed into the smallest little area.

01:05:03.000 It's not that big.

01:05:05.000 If you look at all the buildings that are tucked in...

01:05:07.000 I remember I had a hotel room once, and it was on a corner, and it was in the...

01:05:11.000 Like, sometimes it's cool to be on the outside.

01:05:13.000 I got a friend who lived in Brooklyn, and he had a cool view from the river.

01:05:16.000 Like, you look from his apartment, you see the whole city skyscrape, the whole skyline.

01:05:21.000 It was pretty beautiful.

01:05:22.000 But there's something cool about being in the middle of it all.

01:05:25.000 And this hotel I stayed at was on a corner, and I'd like... 0.94

01:05:28.000 Look out the window on both sides and just fucking, it's like a science fiction movie.

01:05:33.000 Just giant constructed buildings to the left and to the right, and you're in the middle of all of it. 0.97

01:05:38.000 Hundreds and hundreds of windows, everyone looking out at each other.

01:05:42.000 Everyone's in there watching their little TV shows, doing their little thing.

01:05:45.000 But you're in the middle of all of it, like this crazy sci-fi beehive type thing.

01:05:50.000 You know, and where we live, you know, we just...

01:05:53.000 We drive to each other's houses.

01:05:55.000 There's like a yard.

01:05:56.000 There's a space.

01:05:56.000 You're pulling your driveway.

01:05:58.000 Hey, come on in.

01:05:59.000 You know, park in the driveway.

01:06:00.000 It's like normal stuff.

01:06:01.000 You know, like, you get out of the house.

01:06:03.000 Hey, this is your house.

01:06:04.000 Right over there, that's his house. 0.99

01:06:05.000 And no, it's fucking stacked. 0.99

01:06:08.000 Everybody's stacked. 0.99

01:06:09.000 Stacked on top of stacked on top of stacked.

01:06:11.000 Smashed together.

01:06:12.000 Stacked, stacked, stacked.

01:06:13.000 Everybody jammed into these boxes. 0.99

01:06:17.000 Cars, little fucking yellow cars and Ubers everywhere on the ground. 0.99

01:06:21.000 No one gets anywhere when gridlock hits. 0.99

01:06:23.000 Crosstown traffic. 0.99

01:06:24.000 The reason why Hendrix wrote that fucking song, and that was in the 70s, okay? 0.99

01:06:29.000 In the 60s, I guess he wrote it, right? 0.99

01:06:31.000 When you're in the Manhattan...

01:06:36.000 You're like, this is insane! 0.99

01:06:38.000 Like, why the fuck would anybody live here? 1.00

01:06:40.000 You can't go anywhere! 0.99

01:06:41.000 It's just jam, jam, jam, jam, the whole thing.

01:06:44.000 Jam, jam, jam, jam.

01:06:46.000 No one's moving anywhere. 0.73

01:06:49.000 And everywhere you look, there's delis, and restaurants, and storage units, and parking lots, and fucking this business, and that business, and this door, and that door. 0.76

01:06:55.000 It's all just...

01:06:57.000 Just a vortex of energy. 1.00

01:06:59.000 And what they want for that fucking shit. 1.00

01:07:03.000 Incredible. 1.00

01:07:03.000 We were in Edgewater just driving around, and we saw this thing. 1.00

01:07:07.000 The next day, I go, ask.

01:07:08.000 Ask around, Terry.

01:07:09.000 Go on the computer.

01:07:10.000 Like, two days later, she's like, oh, my God.

01:07:13.000 Just to move in there, they want a half a mil. 0.99

01:07:16.000 And then whatever your mortgage is, it's $1,700 flat just for maintenance fees.

01:07:21.000 Yeah, a lot of that.

01:07:22.000 A lot of maintenance fees.

01:07:23.000 Maintenance fees a month, $1,700.

01:07:25.000 And that's if you don't use the gym or the pool or the garage. 0.98

01:07:30.000 If you use all that stuff, there's another $890-hour fucking fee. 0.95

01:07:34.000 This fee, you got to buy the water from them. 0.99

01:07:37.000 She goes, it was fucking crazy. 1.00

01:07:40.000 And at the end of the day, you got a motherfucking apartment. 1.00

01:07:43.000 That's all you got. 1.00

01:07:44.000 You call it condo, whatever the fuck you want to call it, it's a fucking apartment, my friend. 1.00

01:07:49.000 And yeah, you got the view of the Manhattan skyline. 1.00

01:07:53.000 That's what you're paying for.

01:07:54.000 The view.

01:07:55.000 I mean, think about how much one of those big apartment buildings must be worth.

01:07:59.000 Because every one of those units is a million bucks.

01:08:02.000 A million bucks.

01:08:03.000 Or more.

01:08:04.000 A lot of them, much more.

01:08:06.000 I saw some that were like five million dollars.

01:08:08.000 You've got to be kidding.

01:08:09.000 This is a normal apartment at Silver Lake.

01:08:11.000 And it was like five million bucks.

01:08:13.000 This is crazy.

01:08:15.000 I couldn't live like that.

01:08:16.000 Could you?

01:08:17.000 I could live like that if I had the experience of living there, like if it was normal to me.

01:08:26.000 I think the people that do live there, when you get used to driving around on the subway, riding around in cabs, you get used to where all the clubs are, you do your little routine, you get in the...

01:08:38.000 Get in the airport to take off to cities and work the road.

01:08:42.000 You'd get used to it.

01:08:43.000 You'd get used to, like, Attell does it.

01:08:45.000 A lot of those other guys do it.

01:08:46.000 But once you get used to space and once you get used to, like, being able to dip out and dip back in without that much trouble, like, it's way easier to, like, live in the valley and then drive into the store on a Friday night than it would ever be if you lived somewhere like that equally far away from Manhattan and you wanted to get in to do a spot.

01:09:05.000 Like, that's a two-hour proposition.

01:09:08.000 Like, you gotta be ready.

01:09:09.000 You gotta be ready to enter that machine, you know?

01:09:12.000 Especially if you're gonna do it at, like, 7 o'clock at night.

01:09:14.000 So what time are you gonna leave your house?

01:09:15.000 You gonna leave your house at 5.30 for your 7 o'clock show?

01:09:18.000 Ugh.

01:09:19.000 Then you leave your wallet at home.

01:09:21.000 If you get your phone in the driveway, no.

01:09:23.000 It makes sense to hit and hit.

01:09:26.000 Let's say you live in Brooklyn.

01:09:28.000 You got to take the train in to New York, Manhattan, something like that.

01:09:31.000 You get used to that.

01:09:32.000 I think the television like in Brooklyn or something like that.

01:09:35.000 Even if he just takes the train in, you do four or five spots.

01:09:38.000 He does the cellar, the stand.

01:09:41.000 You do a couple spots and you get back on your train and go home at 1.30.

01:09:44.000 Now with Ubers too, it's just so easy to do it.

01:09:47.000 It's so easy to just use your app.

01:09:49.000 Your car shows up in a couple of minutes.

01:09:51.000 This is so much less hassle.

01:09:54.000 You know?

01:09:55.000 Especially because, like, with cabs, you don't know if a cab's coming.

01:09:58.000 So what are you going to do in Manhattan?

01:09:59.000 You're going to call a cab company, say, come get me on this?

01:10:01.000 Nobody ever does that.

01:10:02.000 You try to flag one.

01:10:03.000 So you try to find one.

01:10:04.000 You go walking around looking for one.

01:10:06.000 But now you just press a button on your phone.

01:10:08.000 And they're like, we'll be there in three minutes.

01:10:09.000 All right, cool.

01:10:10.000 Because of Uber out in New York, the cabs are getting easier to get.

01:10:13.000 I got a cab every time I want it this time. 0.95

01:10:16.000 Real fucking fast. 1.00

01:10:18.000 Zero to 100, bitch. 1.00

01:10:19.000 Real motherfucking quick. 1.00

01:10:21.000 Mmm. 0.99

01:10:22.000 You ever take Uber yet?

01:10:23.000 I take it one time.

01:10:25.000 I take a black one time tour.

01:10:26.000 I've taken a few times in New York.

01:10:28.000 I use it all the time in New York.

01:10:29.000 I could do it.

01:10:30.000 I think I could do it.

01:10:31.000 Like, Ari's enjoying it.

01:10:32.000 He's enjoying it.

01:10:33.000 He likes doing it.

01:10:34.000 It would be harder for me because I have kids.

01:10:36.000 I just don't think New York's the best place for kids.

01:10:39.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

01:10:40.000 It just seems, first of all, that brake dust can't be good for you. 0.99

01:10:44.000 If you feel like finding out what the fuck you breathe, go look at your wheels. 1.00

01:10:51.000 Look at your car's wheels and just stick your finger inside the rim and get that black shit all over your finger. 1.00

01:10:57.000 It doesn't just go on your wheel and stick there, only. 0.99

01:11:00.000 No.

01:11:01.000 As you, like, see, like, crazy traffic, like on, you know, 5th Avenue or something like that, you see Broadway traffic, just bam, bam, bam, bam, you're breathing in brake dust, 100%.

01:11:12.000 That stuff's in the air. 0.85

01:11:13.000 So it's not just the carbon fuel, the residue, like the exhaust from cars, whatever fires are being burned, whatever gas ovens and that shit. 0.98

01:11:24.000 It's not just that. 0.95

01:11:25.000 It's brake dust.

01:11:26.000 Brake dust is everywhere. 1.00

01:11:28.000 And you're getting that shit in your lungs, 100%. 1.00

01:11:31.000 It's not good for you. 1.00

01:11:33.000 It's just not.

01:11:34.000 You know, and they've shown, there's studies that think that living in a high-populated city like New York can take as much as 10 years off your life.

01:11:41.000 Just living there.

01:11:42.000 Doing exactly the same thing, living in the exact same choices, but living in a polluted environment, like downtown LA. It's probably a good example of that, right?

01:11:49.000 Downtown gets funky. 0.99

01:11:51.000 You know, it gets fucking polluted. 0.96

01:11:52.000 But it's still more open than, say, New York or anything like that. 0.98

01:11:56.000 You could at least see the sky in most places.

01:11:58.000 Sometimes you can.

01:12:00.000 Sometimes you can. 0.96

01:12:01.000 But LA gets pretty stinky, man. 0.59

01:12:02.000 LA can get pretty bad. 0.98

01:12:03.000 If we get stagnant and the winds don't blow and the pollution just sits, You know how you crest, like if you come over from like Encino, and you see the valley, and you see that fucking horrible brown cloud? 0.73

01:12:16.000 That's real.

01:12:17.000 That's not an illusion.

01:12:18.000 And you don't see that in the desert.

01:12:20.000 If you go out where there's no people, that doesn't exist.

01:12:22.000 Like that exists because of people burning things.

01:12:25.000 That you're breathing that in.

01:12:26.000 Everyone's breathing that in.

01:12:27.000 In 93, I lived in New York, and I would get up at 7 and go into the city.

01:12:32.000 I lived in Cliffside, but I worked in New York.

01:12:34.000 And I'd go into New York and bum around, and then sometimes I'd take a shower at the gym.

01:12:38.000 I joined the boxing gym, and I just would go there for the locker, basically.

01:12:41.000 I would hit the bag a little.

01:12:43.000 I didn't know what I was doing. 0.99

01:12:44.000 And I would fucking just go out at night. 0.97

01:12:47.000 And I remember sometimes I wouldn't take a shower at the gym at 6. I was busy. 0.97

01:12:53.000 And I'd get home at 11, and I'd take a shower, and you'd see what would come out of my hair.

01:12:59.000 And I'd just be walking around Manhattan, guys.

01:13:01.000 I didn't go anywhere else.

01:13:02.000 I'd just be walking around Manhattan, getting cabs, doing this, dropping off packages.

01:13:06.000 You could see.

01:13:07.000 I didn't do anything.

01:13:08.000 Residue.

01:13:08.000 It was this darkness.

01:13:10.000 It was like, Jesus Christ, where the fuck have I been? 0.99

01:13:13.000 And I got used to it after a while, but it really stuck with me, like, just walking around Manhattan. 0.99

01:13:20.000 Six or seven hours would do this to me like it really I would get more blackheads there My hair like when you wash it you would see the fucking dirt like just not real a lot of dirt But you see that you have something on your skin. 1.00

01:13:33.000 Let me ask you this this make sense to you They can make a big giant building like the Empire State Building they can make a big-ass building Why can't they make a big-ass air filter? 0.97

01:13:44.000 Well, if you're going to put up that many buildings and have that many people and that many cars, how about you build a giant air filter?

01:13:50.000 I mean, like, they sell air filters for your house.

01:13:52.000 Like, my daughter's allergic to cats, we're finding out.

01:13:55.000 So, you know, we have two cats, and so now we have to shave the cats.

01:13:58.000 So I've been shaving them.

01:13:59.000 First of all, it's adorable when you see them.

01:14:02.000 The line cuts.

01:14:02.000 Yeah, they get the line cuts.

01:14:04.000 And then the other thing is, when you shave them, it's just almost like skin.

01:14:09.000 So it's like just a little bit of fur, and it must feel so much better when you pet them. 1.00

01:14:13.000 Because when I pet, especially like the little girl, well the big one, the boy too, but when I pet them, they just start fucking writhing like you're making them cum. 1.00

01:14:21.000 They're like... 1.00

01:14:22.000 They love it.

01:14:24.000 They love it.

01:14:25.000 They love it when you're petting them, when you've shaved them all down. 0.99

01:14:28.000 But we have this air cleaner that we have to put in her bedroom because she starts sneezing and shit. 1.00

01:14:33.000 We're finding out that she's not terribly allergic, but allergic enough, so we have to figure out what to do. 0.96

01:14:38.000 But they make these air filters. 0.91

01:14:39.000 It makes a big difference.

01:14:40.000 You put them in your room, sucks all the dander and all the stuff out of the air, cleans it. 0.91

01:14:44.000 It seems like if you can make a giant-ass building, why can't you make a giant-ass air filter that sucks all that dirty, brown, stinky air out and cleans it? 0.94

01:14:52.000 Like, that can't be impossible to do. 0.81

01:14:54.000 It just doesn't seem like it should be. 0.89

01:14:56.000 If you can make a big building, and you can make a big fan, you can make a big fucking air cleaner. 0.89

01:15:00.000 Can't you? 0.94

01:15:01.000 It makes sense.

01:15:02.000 But then you'd have to clean it every two minutes or something.

01:15:05.000 Coming from the man who brought you parachutes on commercial airplanes...

01:15:11.000 That sucks, but a lot of people get used to the cat, you know, allergies.

01:15:16.000 I know a lot of ex-girlfriends that would first, like, hey, I'm allergic to cats, and then after a few years or whatever, they would stop being as allergic, though. 1.00

01:15:25.000 Yeah, you vaccinated them with your dick. 1.00

01:15:27.000 That's what it is. 1.00

01:15:28.000 Slowly but surely, you get that non-cat...

01:15:32.000 Allergy DNA into their body, and they assimilate it.

01:15:35.000 I was at a gas station the other day, and they were selling poppers, and I recently was at a...

01:15:39.000 Amyl nitrate, you mean?

01:15:39.000 Yeah.

01:15:40.000 Are you sure?

01:15:40.000 Yeah, it said popper.

01:15:42.000 It even said, like, it was like the little jar and everything, and it's like, and I went to a party, and I actually saw my first person actually using poppers.

01:15:49.000 Yeah, but I guarantee that's not the same thing.

01:15:51.000 I guarantee the stuff they're selling at a gas station is not, like, amyl nitrate.

01:15:55.000 That's highly illegal.

01:15:57.000 Is it?

01:15:57.000 Yeah, I think what they're doing is, you know how those boner pills, like you buy boner pills at the gas station and, you know, they pretend they're herbs, but it's really Cialis or Viagra or something like that?

01:16:07.000 I think what these things are is something similar to that.

01:16:09.000 Just how like bath salts were never really bath salts.

01:16:12.000 They can just call it whatever they want.

01:16:14.000 They can call it poppers, as long as it's not amyl nitrate.

01:16:16.000 What was bath salts really?

01:16:17.000 Bath salts, they would call it bath salts so they could sell it. 0.99

01:16:21.000 They would say not for human consumption, but what it really is was they had done something to meth. 1.00

01:16:29.000 This is an idiot's way of describing this, right? 1.00

01:16:31.000 Let me get that out of the way. 1.00

01:16:33.000 When you describe something like a molecule, like the chemical that your brain produces, dimethyltryptamine.

01:16:41.000 It's NN-dimethyltryptamine.

01:16:43.000 That's illegal. 0.80

01:16:45.000 But there's a thing called 5-MeO-dimethyltryptamine that's legal because they fucked up and they didn't list it.

01:16:53.000 So you could get that stuff and it's like a cousin of DMT. It's called 5-MeO-DMT. Well, that's similar to what they did with this meth thing.

01:17:01.000 They would take meth and then they would just change a little bit of it.

01:17:04.000 Add an oxygen molecule, add a carbon molecule, whatever they have to do.

01:17:08.000 And that turns it into something different.

01:17:10.000 So it's not illegal. 0.99

01:17:13.000 But it's, it'll fuck you up. 1.00

01:17:15.000 Fuck, like face eating fuck you up. 1.00

01:17:18.000 So then they sell it as bath salts. 1.00

01:17:21.000 Saying, yeah, throw this in the bath, hop in there. 0.99

01:17:23.000 Wink, wink.

01:17:24.000 And everybody knows you're just gonna go smoke it. 1.00

01:17:26.000 And they smoke this stuff and it blows their fucking brains out. 0.99

01:17:30.000 Because they don't even know what it is. 1.00

01:17:31.000 But you're selling like high potency meth at truck stops.

01:17:35.000 I mean, that's where they're selling it.

01:17:37.000 They were selling those little convenient marks, those weird 24-hour gas stations.

01:17:40.000 That's where they were selling it.

01:17:41.000 And you could just go in and buy meth through a loophole. 1.00

01:17:45.000 And so all these people were buying this shit. 1.00

01:17:47.000 That's how much of an idiot I am. 1.00

01:17:49.000 For years, you go into a place on the East Coast, and you always had a rose in the tube. 1.00

01:17:54.000 Yeah, it's a crack pipe.

01:17:55.000 I didn't know that.

01:17:56.000 Yeah.

01:17:57.000 It's not really a rose. 0.99

01:17:59.000 The rose is, you throw that fucking rose away and smoke crack out of that thing. 0.99

01:18:02.000 It's a crack pipe. 1.00

01:18:03.000 You didn't know that, Brian?

01:18:03.000 No, I didn't know that's awesome.

01:18:06.000 Well, I knew it because my friend Johnny was a crackhead.

01:18:08.000 Can you believe that? 0.97

01:18:09.000 Yeah.

01:18:10.000 And they sell, right?

01:18:11.000 How many stores do you go to and you're like, a rose?

01:18:13.000 Who would buy a rose? 1.00

01:18:14.000 A fucking crackhead would. 1.00

01:18:15.000 They had to figure out a way to sell those things legally. 1.00

01:18:19.000 So they sold like a little tiny glass face with a rosin.

01:18:22.000 I should have bought some of these because it was in West Hollywood and they were lined up and they had different logos on it just like, yeah, I have seen those.

01:18:28.000 Come on, man.

01:18:29.000 Those are DMT pipes too.

01:18:31.000 That's what you smoke DMT out of.

01:18:33.000 How crazy is that?

01:18:34.000 That's the loophole right there.

01:18:36.000 That's the beauty about paying a nickel and getting an attorney and sitting with him going, how can I sell this?

01:18:42.000 Put a flower in it, son.

01:18:44.000 It's beautiful.

01:18:45.000 Can you believe Brian? 0.99

01:18:46.000 I'm fucking 40 when I found out. 0.99

01:18:48.000 Don't feel ashamed. 0.99

01:18:49.000 I'm supposed to be the king of swaying. 1.00

01:18:50.000 I'm like, that's a fucking crack bite. 0.99

01:18:53.000 It is hilarious. 0.99

01:18:53.000 Hilarious. 0.99

01:18:54.000 I keep on finding out these horrible things that I should have known a long time ago, like on the toaster, the one through ten, that's how many minutes.

01:19:00.000 It's not like hot and cold, you know?

01:19:03.000 Is it really?

01:19:04.000 Oh, I thought it was the darkness of the toaster.

01:19:06.000 Yes, that's what I thought.

01:19:08.000 Really?

01:19:08.000 Yeah.

01:19:09.000 I wonder why.

01:19:09.000 I was like, why does seven take so long?

01:19:14.000 I'm such a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:19:16.000 I'm making toast going, Jesus Christ, I need a faster toaster. 1.00

01:19:19.000 Yeah.

01:19:19.000 Something that gets you to seven quicker.

01:19:21.000 Yeah.

01:19:23.000 I had no idea that the little thing when you zip up your pants, the little knob thing, if you put it down, that locks your zipper.

01:19:29.000 Down?

01:19:30.000 Like, you know, like when you're zipping it up, the handle.

01:19:33.000 If you put the handle down, it locks your zipper.

01:19:35.000 Do you usually leave it up?

01:19:35.000 Well, you just kind of like zip up your pants and not think about it, and then later you're like, why is my zipper down?

01:19:40.000 It's because you didn't just do that extra little...

01:19:42.000 No, that one I knew.

01:19:43.000 That one I knew.

01:19:44.000 You did know that one?

01:19:45.000 Yeah.

01:19:45.000 All right.

01:19:45.000 I don't understand what you're saying.

01:19:47.000 This handle thing...

01:19:48.000 This right here.

01:19:49.000 Yeah, like this.

01:19:50.000 You put it down.

01:19:51.000 Put it down and it locks it.

01:19:52.000 That's the lock.

01:19:53.000 How does it lock it?

01:19:54.000 I know that.

01:19:54.000 That's the lock.

01:19:55.000 That's the whole technology of the zipping.

01:19:56.000 Oh, I see.

01:19:56.000 So it can't unlock until you lift it up.

01:19:59.000 Yes.

01:20:00.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

01:20:01.000 I didn't know that at all.

01:20:03.000 Wow.

01:20:03.000 I have like five more.

01:20:04.000 I just realized when I'm trying to do it when it's bent down that I literally can't unzip my pants.

01:20:10.000 Fascinating.

01:20:10.000 Yes.

01:20:11.000 I had no idea.

01:20:12.000 Well, it makes sense, right?

01:20:13.000 Otherwise, it just wouldn't work. 1.00

01:20:14.000 Zippers are bullshit. 1.00

01:20:16.000 I'm tired of zippers, man. 1.00

01:20:17.000 I fucking hate fucking zippers, too. 0.99

01:20:18.000 My zipper's always down. 1.00

01:20:20.000 Someone's always like, your zippers are down, man.

01:20:22.000 Now it's at. 0.99

01:20:22.000 And, well, it's also, I always, it doesn't, I don't think it matters, because I wear these goddamn stretchy pants. 0.99

01:20:27.000 All my pants are like fake jeans. 0.99

01:20:29.000 They look like jeans.

01:20:30.000 They're fake jeans.

01:20:31.000 I had one that I was wearing that had a tie.

01:20:36.000 It was a diesel, a pair of diesel, and they stretch.

01:20:39.000 And you tie them like sweatpants.

01:20:41.000 And I would show people, and they would scream, no.

01:20:44.000 They would scream, no, no, you can't wear that.

01:20:46.000 You can't wear that.

01:20:47.000 You're wearing stretchy pants and a tie.

01:20:49.000 I'm like, why?

01:20:49.000 Why can't I wear that?

01:20:50.000 That's so funny.

01:20:51.000 People are saying, like these girls in the comedy store, like, you can't wear those. 1.00

01:20:55.000 You can't wear those.

01:20:56.000 I'm like, I'm wearing them.

01:20:57.000 Why can't I wear them?

01:20:58.000 Why can't I wear...

01:20:59.000 You can't wear pants and tie.

01:21:00.000 Those jeans look great. 0.99

01:21:01.000 These are fucking fantastic. 0.99

01:21:02.000 Those jeans look great. 0.99

01:21:03.000 Yeah, they look real.

01:21:04.000 You got me hooked on them.

01:21:05.000 I don't have the good kind like that.

01:21:06.000 And you order them online?

01:21:07.000 Yeah.

01:21:08.000 These are...

01:21:09.000 I have no affiliation with this company.

01:21:11.000 They're called Barbell Jeans.

01:21:12.000 Yeah.

01:21:13.000 They're great.

01:21:13.000 I love them.

01:21:14.000 They're so stretchy.

01:21:15.000 They're so stretchy.

01:21:16.000 They move like sweatpants.

01:21:18.000 They feel like there's no resistance.

01:21:19.000 Like, when I wear normal pants, I feel like I'm wearing a straight jacket now.

01:21:22.000 Like...

01:21:24.000 It's like wearing pajamas outside.

01:21:25.000 I got a new company, but this is a sponsor of the podcast.

01:21:29.000 It's called Mizzen in Maine, and they make these clothes that are made out of this really light, stretchy material, like a button-up shirt.

01:21:35.000 But you know a button-up shirt?

01:21:36.000 It's always like...

01:21:37.000 It looks like a normal button-up shirt, but you don't feel anything.

01:21:41.000 You move with it.

01:21:42.000 It's like a light cotton t-shirt.

01:21:44.000 It's amazing.

01:21:45.000 It stretches.

01:21:46.000 It moves with you everywhere you go.

01:21:48.000 I just want...

01:21:49.000 Does it have the thickness look of it? 0.96

01:21:51.000 Or is it like, you know, you have to have a buff body or your nipples are showing through it? 0.99

01:21:54.000 My nipples probably definitely show through it because my nipples are ferocious. 0.98

01:21:58.000 But it looks like a regular shirt. 0.99

01:22:00.000 It doesn't look like anything unusual about it. 0.99

01:22:02.000 But I'm that close to going fucking sweatpants and fanny pack everywhere. 0.99

01:22:06.000 I'm that close. 0.98

01:22:07.000 I'm that close to just completely throwing the towel and getting an old-school Surprime's tracksuit.

01:22:12.000 Why is it a walking stick?

01:22:14.000 I might even get some yellow Hunter S. Thompson glasses.

01:22:17.000 Just yellow and wear them indoors, outdoors. 1.00

01:22:20.000 Just fuck it! 1.00

01:22:22.000 You know how Hunter S. Thompson always had the cigarette lighter? 1.00

01:22:25.000 That's a vapor pen.

01:22:26.000 Instead of the cigarette holder, it's the same thing as a vapor pen.

01:22:29.000 Just going full, yellow glasses, tracksuit, fanny pack.

01:22:34.000 That's my new look.

01:22:35.000 Toe shoes. 0.99

01:22:36.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:22:37.000 I'm gonna wear those two Vibrams. 0.99

01:22:38.000 Those five fingers.

01:22:39.000 You have those already? 1.00

01:22:39.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:22:40.000 And where you wear them, man? 1.00

01:22:41.000 Nowhere.

01:22:42.000 I hide those things.

01:22:42.000 I don't want anybody to see me in them.

01:22:43.000 You keep them at the house? 1.00

01:22:45.000 That's fucking glasses. 1.00

01:22:46.000 There's something about when you're wearing glasses like that, you have no business in reality. 1.00

01:22:51.000 You're not doing business in reality.

01:22:54.000 You're here for your own thing.

01:22:55.000 You're here to party.

01:22:56.000 That's so crazy.

01:22:57.000 That guy was the best. 0.99

01:22:58.000 This guy was fucking... 0.99

01:23:00.000 He was the best. 1.00

01:23:01.000 But he would wear those yellow glasses.

01:23:03.000 I gotta be honest with you guys. 0.99

01:23:04.000 When I saw him, I didn't know who the fuck he was. 0.99

01:23:07.000 You saw him in real life in Witty Creek, right? 0.99

01:23:09.000 Yeah, I saw him. 1.00

01:23:09.000 I didn't know who the fuck he was. 1.00

01:23:11.000 And then somebody told me and then I went back down there and I saw Bill Murray at that fucking place. 0.99

01:23:19.000 You know, Bill Murray would go visit him. 0.99

01:23:21.000 Oh yeah, everybody would go visit him.

01:23:22.000 People would go visit him.

01:23:24.000 How crazy is that?

01:23:25.000 Have you ever read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?

01:23:27.000 No, it's been years. 0.99

01:23:28.000 God damn, it's good. 0.99

01:23:30.000 It's good, dude. 0.99

01:23:32.000 He's got some great passages in it. 0.99

01:23:33.000 There's some great moments that he captured on paper that just make you go, fuck. 0.99

01:23:39.000 He had this ability to hit these rare patches of insight. 0.99

01:23:45.000 Just rare areas.

01:23:47.000 You just break into these rare areas and make these passages, make these paragraphs, so you just go, whoa. 0.99

01:23:53.000 Goddamn. 0.98

01:23:54.000 Like, talking with him must have been fucking fascinating. 1.00

01:23:57.000 I read the biker book. 0.97

01:23:59.000 Yeah, Hells Angels.

01:24:00.000 That was one of the first books I read.

01:24:01.000 I didn't care who the author was.

01:24:03.000 I didn't even know what an author was at that time.

01:24:05.000 What that book was, though, was like a much more of a regular journalism book.

01:24:10.000 It was a book about the Hells Angels.

01:24:12.000 Like, they had disputed some of the facts in it.

01:24:14.000 You know, they said that a lot of stuff he made was made up, and he tried to make it all look, like, a lot different than it really is.

01:24:20.000 And the evidence to that was when he started doing his best work was all that.

01:24:24.000 His best work was like Fear and Loathing and the Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved.

01:24:30.000 Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail.

01:24:32.000 Like that stuff, he combined fiction and reality.

01:24:35.000 Like that guy sunk presidential candidates.

01:24:38.000 There's this guy named Ed Muskie who's running for president, and Hunter S. Thompson started talking about him bringing in a Brazilian doctor because he's addicted to Ibogaine. 0.99

01:24:48.000 So he starts spreading these stories about these rumors that there's a Brazilian doctor coming to visit Ed Muskie, and he starts having fucking mental breakdowns. 0.99

01:24:56.000 This guy's on the campaign trail, and he's reading these stories about him, bringing in some Brazilian doctor, and he's fucking falling apart. 0.99

01:25:03.000 Hunter's just making it up. 0.99

01:25:05.000 He's just making up all this shit about him having an Ibogaine addiction and that when he was on stage, you could see him in the full grips of an Ibogaine addiction. 0.99

01:25:13.000 Nobody even knew what the fuck Ibogaine was. 1.00

01:25:15.000 And so he just made up this rumor. 0.97

01:25:17.000 And then when they asked him about it, he goes, no, there really was a rumor.

01:25:20.000 And I started the rumor.

01:25:23.000 It's just like you would joke around about mixing reality and fiction, and he would combine the two of them together.

01:25:30.000 Like, he was the only guy that ever did that, and openly did it.

01:25:33.000 Like, you would read it, and he would call it gonzo journalism, and you would know that, like, as you were reading it, that this wasn't all real.

01:25:39.000 Like, some of this stuff was just complete, total fantasy, you know?

01:25:43.000 We were right outside of Barstow when the bats, what is it, when the drugs began to take hold. 0.94

01:25:49.000 Those stories about all the different shit they had in the trunk when they were headed to Vegas from Barstow, the bats in the air, the fucking acid trip in the reception area of the Vegas hotel, when he's screaming out about golf shoes, and he sees everybody turn into lizards. 1.00

01:26:06.000 This is fucking bizarre, bizarre shit. 0.99

01:26:09.000 He was a very, very unusual guy. 1.00

01:26:13.000 He took a lot of asses, bro. 1.00

01:26:14.000 He did. 1.00

01:26:15.000 But he went a different way with it. 0.99

01:26:18.000 What's really fascinating about him, he went like guns and fucking living in the woods and just blowing your brains out with cocaine every night. 0.98

01:26:25.000 Like he went a totally different way with it. 0.98

01:26:27.000 He didn't go like the kumbaya way.

01:26:30.000 You know, like all these other dudes, they got together and they sat Indian style, and they played Indian music and chimes and burned incense, and they went the spiritual route.

01:26:41.000 And he just, he went the other way.

01:26:44.000 He went the total other way.

01:26:46.000 He went, get acid, and then get a gun, and then go outside.

01:26:50.000 He was shooting golf balls.

01:26:51.000 Yeah.

01:26:52.000 Like, to put them in the hole, like he was playing golf with a gun.

01:26:55.000 So he would shoot the balls to put them in a hole or something like that. 1.00

01:26:58.000 Just shit that... 1.00

01:26:59.000 It was, you know, I was living in Snowmass Village, and I was hearing different rumblings. 0.99

01:27:06.000 I was still 19 or 20, so I don't know if I was allowed in that bar that much.

01:27:10.000 I would just go in there with Kato, my man Kato, get weed.

01:27:13.000 That was it.

01:27:14.000 That was it.

01:27:14.000 His name was Keith Corn, and he would take me.

01:27:17.000 Keith Corn, his life's mission was to get the best weed in Colorado.

01:27:21.000 And I told him, from now on, you get a bag of weed, knock on my door, I'll give you the 40 bucks.

01:27:26.000 So he would come to me and go, there's this guy in Willie Creek.

01:27:29.000 He's got this weed.

01:27:29.000 It's killing people.

01:27:31.000 We gotta go down to the tavern.

01:27:32.000 It was Hunter?

01:27:33.000 No, no, it wasn't Hunter that was selling it.

01:27:35.000 One of Hunter's friends?

01:27:36.000 Dishwasher or something that was selling weed there or something.

01:27:39.000 How far was that from where you were living?

01:27:42.000 Maybe 10 minutes down Snowmass Village Hill and then go a loop around and then go into Woody Creek.

01:27:49.000 So you lived in Boulder and you lived in Aspen?

01:27:51.000 I lived in a town called Basalt first. 0.95

01:27:55.000 Right around the corner from Goldiehorn and motherfucking Kurt Russell on the river. 0.96

01:28:01.000 Whatever river that was. 0.98

01:28:03.000 Basalt is a...

01:28:04.000 What's that?

01:28:04.000 Is it Golden Pond?

01:28:05.000 No, it's a river. 1.00

01:28:07.000 It's not a pond, you fuck. 1.00

01:28:09.000 Basalt is a... 1.00

01:28:12.000 This is Route 82, which is one of the most dangerous roads in the country.

01:28:16.000 So it goes north and south.

01:28:17.000 This is Aspen, right straight ahead.

01:28:20.000 You have to go up three miles to go to Snowmass Village, and then you have to go over here to go to Woody Creek.

01:28:26.000 But Basalt was down here about 40 minutes from town, and you had to go up and up a hill, and that hill...

01:28:33.000 There was maybe a gun store and a restaurant, but there was a place. 0.99

01:28:37.000 I was a New York City fucking kid. 0.99

01:28:40.000 And when I first saw this, I got addicted to this. 1.00

01:28:42.000 Worse than cocaine.

01:28:44.000 I would walk from Basalt every day and walk from Holland Hills.

01:28:48.000 That's where I lived.

01:28:49.000 In fact, Dean Cain had a home there.

01:28:51.000 And I would walk up.

01:28:53.000 And back there, you go in there, you get to go, bro, this is the best idea ever.

01:28:57.000 I'd smoke homegrown. 0.99

01:28:59.000 The girl next to me was growing homegrown, and she cut it with a scissor, and they got me more high than the shit I'm paying fucking 50 for now. 1.00

01:29:06.000 This shit was fucking deadly. 1.00

01:29:07.000 I was an 18-year-old kid, and I would walk, I'd give this guy $7, and he'd give me a fishing pole. 1.00

01:29:14.000 And I'd throw it into the roaring creek, and after two minutes, an idiot, a blind moron, could catch a trout. 1.00

01:29:22.000 And he'd come over, you'd say, I got something! 1.00

01:29:24.000 And he'd come over, and he'd help you. 1.00

01:29:26.000 Oh, shit, a little trout. 0.99

01:29:27.000 He'd take it off of you, cook it, and then cook it, and then give you potato salad, bread, and beans, and you'd have your own fish that he'd grill up for you. 1.00

01:29:34.000 Really?

01:29:35.000 Right there.

01:29:36.000 1983. I was hooked on that.

01:29:38.000 I wouldn't even get a job.

01:29:40.000 I took all my savings and I would go there.

01:29:42.000 That was my exercise to walk down there and get a fish and walk home.

01:29:45.000 Walk down there and get a fish and then the animals would come home and we would squat. 0.98

01:29:49.000 We would squat and do deadlifts and fucking cleans. 0.99

01:29:51.000 My roommates, they're in there shooting D-ball, shooting Decker and eating Winnie V to chop up. 0.99

01:29:57.000 It was amazing.

01:29:58.000 That's all I ate was travel.

01:29:59.000 I never heard of that.

01:30:01.000 And over here is old Snowmass.

01:30:03.000 And they used to have a gas station there.

01:30:05.000 And the guy's from New York, so it was always New York time in there.

01:30:08.000 It was so bizarre.

01:30:09.000 And he sold Sabret hot dogs there in 1982. There were that much New Yorkers.

01:30:14.000 But that's why I saw Goldie Hawn and that little girl for the first time.

01:30:18.000 That little girl was just a little girl when I used to see her at that gas station all the time. 0.97

01:30:23.000 You mean, what is her name?

01:30:24.000 The actress?

01:30:25.000 The famous actress?

01:30:25.000 Yeah.

01:30:26.000 And Old Snowmass had another road that went this way.

01:30:29.000 And this is a tremendous story.

01:30:31.000 Because all this at the time, in the 80s, were kingpins.

01:30:35.000 A lot of kingpins lived there, and that's where they'd go.

01:30:37.000 They had this cocaine and kingpin, a white guy lived there.

01:30:40.000 Not the Grey Bull that we discussed earlier on your show.

01:30:42.000 This other guy.

01:30:44.000 And the feds were trying to get him. 0.97

01:30:45.000 So they fucking put cameras on all the, you know, all street things to watch him. 0.99

01:30:51.000 They fucked up, and they tapped into the cable TV. So his house was being shown to everybody on their TVs. 1.00

01:30:58.000 So Joe Rogan went home, put on Channel 2, and it's me in my living room. 0.99

01:31:02.000 Smoking a joint watch and that fucking guy sued the government for fucking gazillions because they didn't know how to reverse that. 0.99

01:31:11.000 This was when Aspen had four channels. 1.00

01:31:13.000 That's hilarious.

01:31:14.000 They had one channel, two, and all they played was Charles Bronson movies.

01:31:17.000 I was in heaven because at the Holiday Inn in Aspen, right there by the airport, Clint Eastwood would go there every night and get drunk.

01:31:25.000 Really?

01:31:25.000 Bro, I was a kid.

01:31:28.000 What year was this?

01:31:28.000 This is 83. I'm a kid.

01:31:31.000 And the rumor was, all you gotta do is go to Holiday Inn and Clint Eastwood will be at the bar drinking. 0.99

01:31:36.000 And bro, everybody would say, I was too young to go to the fucking bar. 0.99

01:31:40.000 I was dying to meet Clint Eastwood. 1.00

01:31:42.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.98

01:31:43.000 But I couldn't go. 0.99

01:31:45.000 And it was just, dog, this was just a complete different fucking city. 0.98

01:31:50.000 How did everybody get attracted to that one area? 0.99

01:31:54.000 Aspen just had this lure.

01:31:59.000 Aspen's a great place.

01:32:00.000 It's a great place.

01:32:02.000 It's a lot of rich white people, though.

01:32:04.000 Tons of rich white people.

01:32:05.000 You might get bored.

01:32:06.000 It's different now.

01:32:08.000 Yesterday, they were talking about something.

01:32:10.000 That chick was in Vegas. 1.00

01:32:12.000 The chick we were just talking about, Goldie Hawn.

01:32:14.000 Right.

01:32:15.000 Her ski instructor.

01:32:16.000 Kate Hudson?

01:32:17.000 Kate Hudson?

01:32:17.000 No, but the mother.

01:32:18.000 Goldie Hawn.

01:32:19.000 Gave her ski instructor, Mercedes-Benz, for Christmas. 1.00

01:32:22.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:32:24.000 They give you cars. 1.00

01:32:25.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:32:25.000 That's how they roll up there.

01:32:27.000 But it's an evil fucking... 1.00

01:32:29.000 Like, Ted Bundy was up there. 1.00

01:32:31.000 Ted Bundy killed people in Snowmass Village at that hotel.

01:32:34.000 Really?

01:32:35.000 Ted Bundy escaped from the Aspen Jail.

01:32:37.000 This place has a really weird...

01:32:39.000 Ted Bundy killed people all the way down in Florida, too, right?

01:32:41.000 Florida, Colorado, Seattle.

01:32:44.000 Jesus.

01:32:47.000 This is a really weird part of Colorado.

01:32:50.000 And I've told you before that in 84, Aspen was the cocaine capital of the country.

01:32:55.000 All that coke was getting shipped up there for all these Hunter Thompson types. 0.99

01:32:59.000 Jack Nicholson, all these motherfuckers were up there then. 0.99

01:33:03.000 How weird that they all decided to go there. 0.99

01:33:05.000 No TMZ. No cameras, and they could get their dicks. 1.00

01:33:09.000 There was a bar called Paddy Bugatti's that had a swimming pool right in the middle. 0.99

01:33:13.000 So people be fucking pumping, in the middle of a fucking pump they jump in the pool with their clothes on. 0.99

01:33:18.000 That was just crazy. 1.00

01:33:20.000 The Aspen Club, fucking, what's his name, had a huge club up there. 0.99

01:33:26.000 You know, the guy, what's that, the guy that sings about tequila? 0.99

01:33:30.000 Waste it away again.

01:33:32.000 Jimmy Buffett?

01:33:32.000 Jimmy Buffett had a club called the Paragon up there.

01:33:35.000 Biggest bar on the west coast, like nine fucking rooms, bro. 0.99

01:33:38.000 Really? 1.00

01:33:38.000 Huge. 1.00

01:33:39.000 The Paragon, over the Paragon were these apartments where the employees stayed, and I became friends with one of the waitresses, and that's why I fainted from a bong hit one time. 0.98

01:33:48.000 The bong hit, I fucking fainted. 0.99

01:33:51.000 I was sitting on the balcony talking shit. 1.00

01:33:53.000 I'll do it. 0.99

01:33:53.000 And all of a sudden, next thing you know, they're waking me up because it's so thin up there. 0.99

01:33:57.000 That's where the air is really fucking thin.

01:33:59.000 We were talking to this guy who lived in Aspen. 0.82

01:34:01.000 He told me he woke up one day and there was an elk on his back porch screaming. 1.00

01:34:05.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:34:06.000 You know how they scream when they're horny, when they're in the rut? 1.00

01:34:10.000 This big-ass elk was sitting on his porch. 0.97

01:34:12.000 Clop, clop, clop, clop. 0.77

01:34:14.000 What?

01:34:16.000 They're screaming.

01:34:17.000 They said it was like 5 o'clock in the morning or something like that.

01:34:20.000 They looked through the curtains and there's thousand pound animals like right there behind the glass.

01:34:26.000 Screaming.

01:34:27.000 I was in awe when I first moved up there.

01:34:29.000 Colorado.

01:34:29.000 The one that put me over the top was Kabloonix.

01:34:32.000 Kabloonix restaurant was a restaurant.

01:34:35.000 You had to call them, make a reservation, and you had to meet them in a certain location and park your car.

01:34:39.000 And then you got on a sled and dogs pulled you to the restaurant.

01:34:42.000 Are you serious? 1.00

01:34:43.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

01:34:44.000 I want to go here. 1.00

01:34:45.000 And you had two seatings.

01:34:46.000 You had a 7.30 seating and a 9.30 seating.

01:34:49.000 That's how the only way they'd do it.

01:34:50.000 And then they'd pull you out of there and sledge. 0.99

01:34:52.000 Mush!

01:34:54.000 How far did they take you?

01:34:55.000 A couple miles.

01:34:57.000 A couple miles.

01:34:57.000 But in the daytime, you go up there and see how they train the dogs.

01:35:01.000 So in the daytime, it became a different tourist attraction.

01:35:03.000 Really cool.

01:35:04.000 And then you go over a place called Independence Pass. 1.00

01:35:08.000 Independence Pass is when you think you're a bad motherfucker. 0.99

01:35:10.000 Independence Pass is only open three months a year. 0.99

01:35:13.000 It's only open from June to second week of September.

01:35:18.000 And it cuts your time from Denver to Aspen by like an hour.

01:35:22.000 But it's only open three months because it's a two-lane road that not a lot of people can handle.

01:35:28.000 One time I went down and I had a big tough friend from Jersey.

01:35:31.000 He sat in the back and ducked and got on the floor.

01:35:33.000 He couldn't handle it.

01:35:34.000 It's that scary, Joe Rogan.

01:35:36.000 If you're doing a lot of money, a car come over, but at the end of Independence Road, on the other side, they had the black wolf in.

01:35:44.000 And you went in there, you rented a room, and the lady had wolves, black wolves everywhere. 1.00

01:35:49.000 Live ones?

01:35:50.000 Live ones.

01:35:51.000 And in the morning, that's what you, at night, that's all you hear is howl. 1.00

01:35:56.000 She had all the wolves, a black wolf fucking in, dog. 1.00

01:35:59.000 I don't know how many times I went in there. 1.00

01:36:01.000 That's a great, you know, now it's all chains.

01:36:05.000 You know, money has really taken over.

01:36:06.000 Is there a video of that pass, Independence Pass?

01:36:08.000 Independence Pass.

01:36:09.000 Is that what they did in The Shining?

01:36:10.000 No, The Shining is the other place where it's the most, that's the most visited spot in the country.

01:36:17.000 People think it's the Grand Canyon, but it's really Estes Park, Colorado.

01:36:20.000 Really?

01:36:21.000 Because you bend over and they're doing something with that hotel, the Stanley Hotel.

01:36:26.000 That's the best place. 0.85

01:36:30.000 Brunch on a Sunday in the country, like the brunch there is known to be like fucking outrageousness, where they shot The Shining. 0.90

01:36:38.000 That's the Stanley Hotel. 0.90

01:36:39.000 They're doing something there.

01:36:40.000 They're either going to take that part of the hotel and turn it into a museum for The Shining.

01:36:44.000 They're doing something there.

01:36:45.000 But they're going to make a real maze.

01:36:47.000 You know that maze of bushes?

01:36:49.000 Yeah, they're going to make a real one, just like they did in the movie.

01:36:53.000 Yeah, take a look at Independence Pass. 0.99

01:36:55.000 It's a scary fucking road. 0.98

01:36:57.000 Well, you've done the PCH all the way up to San Francisco? 0.99

01:37:00.000 Yes. 1.00

01:37:01.000 There are some fucking moments on that bitch. 1.00

01:37:03.000 There are some fucking moments on that. 1.00

01:37:04.000 When you look into the right of you and you're like, oh, okay. 0.99

01:37:07.000 Especially when you're coming back from San Francisco and you're on the outside.

01:37:10.000 Sped up, right?

01:37:11.000 No, this is a bird.

01:37:12.000 This is 82 to Aspen.

01:37:15.000 So I guess you're starting...

01:37:17.000 Wow, it's changed a lot. 1.00

01:37:18.000 Look at those fucking trees. 1.00

01:37:20.000 So beautiful, though, man. 1.00

01:37:21.000 There's something about mountain views that, to me, is the best view.

01:37:25.000 Like, there's a lot of cool views.

01:37:26.000 Like, the ocean's a really cool view.

01:37:28.000 The meadows are a really cool view.

01:37:30.000 But to me, mountains and trees, there's something about that to just, like...

01:37:35.000 I don't even know how to describe it.

01:37:37.000 It's so natural and powerful that the idea of all these plants growing out of the ground and reaching up to the sky, and they're thick and dense everywhere.

01:37:49.000 You're just surrounded by plant life.

01:37:51.000 And then you look up in this spectacular snow-capped mountains and blue sky and floating clouds and trees, and you know out there it's all just wildlife, man. 1.00

01:38:02.000 Just fucking squirrels. 0.99

01:38:03.000 Here's what gets scary. 1.00

01:38:05.000 This is where it gets scary.

01:38:06.000 Right there.

01:38:08.000 And it gets even thinner at parts.

01:38:10.000 You gotta trust the other people on the other side of the road.

01:38:14.000 That's the problem.

01:38:15.000 Same thing with the PCH. You know, it was so wild that here I am.

01:38:19.000 Then I lived there, you know, in 83, and then I went back in 85, and that's when I really got into trouble up there.

01:38:25.000 But it was so weird. 0.99

01:38:27.000 Amongst all this beauty, there was this fucking cocaine trail. 0.99

01:38:30.000 Look at the right side. 1.00

01:38:32.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:38:34.000 Oh, fuck, man. 1.00

01:38:38.000 You think you'll move back there eventually, Joe? 1.00

01:38:41.000 I mean, especially now that you're really big into hunting and stuff, it seems like it'd be more...

01:38:44.000 I love Denver. 0.80

01:38:45.000 I fucking love it. 0.93

01:38:47.000 Love it. 0.98

01:38:48.000 It might be my favorite spot.

01:38:51.000 I love it.

01:38:52.000 Every time I go there, I feel like I'm at home. 0.97

01:38:54.000 Last time I was there, I had a fucking great time, man. 0.94

01:38:58.000 You could live in the mountains near Denver too, like Evergreen, places like that. 0.98

01:39:03.000 It's a half hour away.

01:39:06.000 Independence Pass, the whole ride.

01:39:10.000 Every time I go back there, I'm like, yeah, this is probably better.

01:39:15.000 Right now, Denver's booming.

01:39:17.000 It's on fire.

01:39:18.000 They can't control it.

01:39:20.000 All the people that didn't want weed to be legal, boy, they got the worst possible results.

01:39:27.000 Massive economic recovery.

01:39:29.000 Housing prices are up 19%.

01:39:32.000 Real estate's up 19%.

01:39:34.000 I heard rents crazy now.

01:39:35.000 Rents are crazy.

01:39:37.000 The money is booming.

01:39:39.000 They've made more money in taxes for the first time ever from marijuana than they do from alcohol.

01:39:45.000 No, there's never been a place ever that's done that.

01:39:48.000 They've passed the amount of money they make in taxes from alcohol.

01:39:51.000 Because they tax it at like 39%.

01:39:53.000 It's smart. 0.93

01:39:54.000 They tax the shit out of it. 0.98

01:39:56.000 And no one gives a fuck. 0.97

01:39:58.000 Good. 0.98

01:39:58.000 Who cares? 0.98

01:39:59.000 Weed is so economical.

01:40:01.000 If you think about it, like how about one of those weed pens?

01:40:04.000 Those ones that Geno sells.

01:40:06.000 How much do they sell for?

01:40:07.000 It's like $100 or something like that.

01:40:09.000 I don't think it's that much.

01:40:10.000 No?

01:40:11.000 $60?

01:40:11.000 $60, $40, $60.

01:40:13.000 Okay, whatever it is.

01:40:14.000 And you have these little cartridges.

01:40:15.000 How much are the cartridges?

01:40:17.000 $30 or something like that?

01:40:18.000 Something like that, yeah.

01:40:18.000 Dude, they will last for weeks.

01:40:20.000 Yeah.

01:40:21.000 Those guys, for you, not really.

01:40:22.000 Three days.

01:40:23.000 Three days.

01:40:24.000 That's how you got caught on the plane, though.

01:40:26.000 You did, yeah.

01:40:27.000 Yeah, you set off the alarm, right?

01:40:29.000 I set off the alarm.

01:40:30.000 I told you you're gonna do that.

01:40:32.000 And they came in, and they're like, are you smoking? 0.98

01:40:34.000 I'm like, do I look like I'm fucking smoking? 0.97

01:40:36.000 And she goes, I wonder what set this off. 0.99

01:40:38.000 So the whole time, I'm like, they're gonna throw me in fucking jail when I get to the airport. 0.98

01:40:42.000 I just talked to you about this, like, because he periscoped and did it. 0.98

01:40:47.000 Like, he was blowing it up, going...

01:40:50.000 And he's just blowing it up on the plane.

01:40:53.000 You periscoped on the plane?

01:40:55.000 Joey, that's like a federal offense.

01:40:56.000 Listen to me.

01:40:57.000 They didn't catch me.

01:40:58.000 I couldn't smoke in the road.

01:41:00.000 They didn't catch you.

01:41:00.000 You made your own video.

01:41:01.000 You made your own evidence against yourself.

01:41:04.000 The video's gone.

01:41:05.000 Right.

01:41:07.000 The ether.

01:41:09.000 This is when I was with my family, so I couldn't blow the smoke because the side sucks it in and the mercy will smell it.

01:41:15.000 Oh.

01:41:15.000 So I just got up.

01:41:16.000 Mercy right now. 0.99

01:41:17.000 I thought it was fucked. 0.99

01:41:17.000 Because listen, let me tell you something. 0.99

01:41:20.000 You know what Hinchcliffe does?

01:41:21.000 Oh, I shouldn't tell you.

01:41:22.000 Let me tell you something.

01:41:24.000 Those five hour flights without edibles are brutal.

01:41:27.000 You need to get a hold of some spray.

01:41:29.000 Oh, I got everything now.

01:41:31.000 Oh, okay, okay.

01:41:31.000 Don't get angry.

01:41:33.000 Explode into my sleep. 0.99

01:41:34.000 I got the fucking thing I was going to bring you guys, and I left it on the counter. 0.99

01:41:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

01:41:39.000 But I got up and went to the bathroom.

01:41:40.000 You got to be careful about saying what they're making.

01:41:45.000 Gotta keep it on the DM. I'm jizzled on the way back.

01:41:48.000 Because on the way there, I didn't eat no edibles because I was worried about my kid. 0.99

01:41:51.000 But on the way back, I'm like, fuck it, six hours? 0.99

01:41:53.000 With this kid, I needed something to calm me down. 0.99

01:41:56.000 I went into that bathroom with the iPod on, so I really couldn't hear.

01:42:00.000 And I'm hitting this pipe, and I'm like, I just charged this up. 0.99

01:42:02.000 This motherfucker's hitting good. 1.00

01:42:04.000 It's fucking smoke everywhere inside this bathroom. 1.00

01:42:08.000 And all of a sudden, I can't hear, and I hear... 0.99

01:42:11.000 And I see the light going. 1.00

01:42:13.000 And I'm like, oh, shit. 1.00

01:42:14.000 So I flush. 0.99

01:42:14.000 I did piss because I was hitting it while I was pissing. 0.99

01:42:17.000 I pissed. 0.99

01:42:18.000 And I fucking put it in my pocket. 0.99

01:42:20.000 And I open it up. 0.99

01:42:20.000 What happened? 0.99

01:42:20.000 She goes, were you smoking here? 0.99

01:42:22.000 And they're like, it doesn't smell.

01:42:23.000 I go, no.

01:42:24.000 I don't know what happened.

01:42:26.000 I banged up against the thing.

01:42:27.000 My farts are so strong.

01:42:30.000 You're setting off smoke detectors. 1.00

01:42:32.000 And I fucking sat down. 0.99

01:42:33.000 I thought they were going to throw me in jail. 0.99

01:42:34.000 I gave my wife the car keys.

01:42:36.000 I said, just in case they arrest me.

01:42:38.000 On the way out.

01:42:39.000 They even said, thank you for coming on.

01:42:41.000 Your daughter was great.

01:42:42.000 So...

01:42:43.000 Once they realize it's not smoke smoke, I think.

01:42:45.000 Yeah.

01:42:46.000 I don't think they're offended as much as, like, if you have an e-cigarette.

01:42:49.000 Like, they used to let you smoke those.

01:42:51.000 Remember people who take those blues on airplanes?

01:42:53.000 They used to smoke them all the time.

01:42:54.000 And then they had to put...

01:42:55.000 They had to figure it out.

01:42:58.000 They had to come up with laws for that, for e-cigarettes. 0.99

01:43:01.000 They're gonna have to come up with laws for those fucking hovercrafts. 1.00

01:43:03.000 Those little hoverboards? 1.00

01:43:04.000 Yeah, they're not allowed on.

01:43:05.000 They're blowing up now.

01:43:06.000 Have you seen them?

01:43:07.000 They're blowing up, so they're not allowed on no more.

01:43:08.000 Amazon pulled all of them. 1.00

01:43:10.000 Get these fucking morons off the fucking planet. 1.00

01:43:12.000 Do they let you just drive around those? 1.00

01:43:14.000 I have those.

01:43:14.000 They blow up?

01:43:15.000 Should I leave them outside?

01:43:16.000 Yeah, leave them outside.

01:43:17.000 It depends if you have a good version of them.

01:43:19.000 Mine is straight out of China.

01:43:21.000 Yeah.

01:43:22.000 How do you know what's the good version?

01:43:23.000 The good versions are the ones that actually have like a brand name and stuff where most of these generic ones are like just, you know, they're like just generic batteries, generic parts.

01:43:33.000 I just bought it from Amazon.

01:43:35.000 Should I throw them out?

01:43:36.000 Get new ones?

01:43:36.000 I wouldn't...

01:43:38.000 Donate them to really risky kids?

01:43:40.000 I'll take them.

01:43:43.000 Hey kids, these are fun, but you're taking a chance.

01:43:47.000 There's some crazy videos that I've been seeing lately of them blowing up just because of the generic batteries in them.

01:43:54.000 Yeah, I'm sure there's probably some of them that are better than others, but think about how many people have them.

01:44:00.000 There's probably, like, a very, very small percentage are blowing up, right?

01:44:04.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:44:05.000 I don't know either.

01:44:05.000 But anyway, they're going to have to figure out how to, like, regulate them at the airport.

01:44:09.000 Because people just ride around them at the airport.

01:44:11.000 Yeah.

01:44:12.000 There's one blowing up, huh?

01:44:13.000 Yeah, but see, we don't know what happened here. 1.00

01:44:14.000 That guy could have just lit that bitch on fire. 1.00

01:44:16.000 We don't know. 1.00

01:44:17.000 Well, there's one that's, like, in malls.

01:44:19.000 There's, like, a...

01:44:20.000 Yeah, one blew up in a mall.

01:44:21.000 That's what I saw.

01:44:22.000 Yeah.

01:44:24.000 You know what else I like about Denver, though? 1.00

01:44:27.000 Those motherfuckers are strapped constantly. 1.00

01:44:29.000 Even Isis knows. 1.00

01:44:31.000 What about Denver? 1.00

01:44:34.000 Those fucking white people. 1.00

01:44:36.000 A little on the crazy side. 1.00

01:44:37.000 Now they're smoking that THC. You don't want to take the chance.

01:44:41.000 They might shoot you before the grenade goes off. 1.00

01:44:43.000 And your world is going to be fucked up. 1.00

01:44:45.000 They're going to put cowboy dick in you and take you up in the mountains and rub maple syrup on you and tie you to a tree and fucking bake you and then stab you to death. 1.00

01:44:53.000 I'll see how much you fucking love Allah after that, motherfucker. 1.00

01:44:56.000 Listen, man, I've told you a thousand times. 1.00

01:44:59.000 There's some real crazy gun-loving Americans. 0.95

01:45:03.000 In the mountains of Colorado. 0.97

01:45:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:06.000 I'm talking, and they're not malicious.

01:45:09.000 None of those malicious.

01:45:10.000 I know good white Americans in Colorado that are waiting at their house right now. 1.00

01:45:16.000 They're building weapons to kill fucking talibans and shit like that. 1.00

01:45:20.000 I know them personally. 1.00

01:45:21.000 I know one guy. 1.00

01:45:22.000 I call him from a fucking throwaway phone because I know they got the taps on this motherfucker. 1.00

01:45:27.000 This guy, 20 years ago, showed me grenade launchers in his fucking garage. 1.00

01:45:31.000 I can't imagine what he's got now. 0.99

01:45:32.000 Every time I call, I send them Christmas cards from a different address.

01:45:36.000 I go to Studio City and mail it to them.

01:45:38.000 I love them!

01:45:39.000 His first name is Fred, that's all I can tell you.

01:45:42.000 This guy taught me everything about it. 1.00

01:45:45.000 He was a fucking weapon. 1.00

01:45:47.000 I was over there one day just talking. 1.00

01:45:49.000 I go, you ever see the movie Scarface?

01:45:50.000 That's a great gun he had at the end.

01:45:52.000 He just looked at me.

01:45:54.000 He looked at his wife.

01:45:55.000 He goes, do me a favor.

01:45:56.000 Can you go in the other room for a second?

01:45:57.000 She's like, sure.

01:45:58.000 She was like a nice white lady. 1.00

01:46:00.000 He's like, I want to show Joey something.

01:46:01.000 This lady got out. 1.00

01:46:02.000 He pulled over his couch.

01:46:04.000 And what he had under that couch, the Scarface gun was his littlest gun. 0.85

01:46:08.000 Do you understand me? 1.00

01:46:09.000 That Scarface gun, that was his fucking appetizer to kill people. 1.00

01:46:13.000 This guy had so many things. 1.00

01:46:15.000 And he started ratting himself out.

01:46:16.000 That he was in Vietnam. 0.99

01:46:18.000 He started showing me the pictures and the ears and the cards, the deck of cards they put on people and all that shit. 0.98

01:46:23.000 And I was like... 0.99

01:46:24.000 And he's like, if you want to go shoot sometime, I'll take it.

01:46:26.000 And that was the beginning of a friendship, Doug.

01:46:28.000 He taught me so many little things. 1.00

01:46:31.000 He knew how to fucking kill people. 1.00

01:46:33.000 He could kill somebody on Mars right now. 1.00

01:46:36.000 He just knew. 0.99

01:46:37.000 He just knew. 1.00

01:46:38.000 He was amazing, the shit this guy knew. 1.00

01:46:40.000 You want to kill somebody on Mars? 1.00

01:46:42.000 I got the angle. 1.00

01:46:43.000 He wanted to fucking... 0.98

01:46:44.000 You know, it was just something from another planet, man. 0.99

01:46:47.000 He would take me on the weekends. 0.99

01:46:48.000 I'd have to buy for my own bullets and shit. 1.00

01:46:50.000 But all the other shit we shot, I can't tell you the shit we shot. 1.00

01:46:53.000 There's a lot of gun enthusiasts out there. 1.00

01:46:55.000 A lot of gun.

01:46:55.000 But this guy...

01:46:56.000 You know my big friend Justin?

01:46:57.000 Yeah.

01:46:57.000 He don't even know how many guns he has.

01:46:59.000 I go, how many guns you have?

01:47:00.000 He goes, I don't know.

01:47:02.000 I go, more than a hundred?

01:47:03.000 He goes, oh, yeah.

01:47:04.000 More than a hundred.

01:47:06.000 What about when I hugged the doctor?

01:47:08.000 I hugged him one time. 1.00

01:47:10.000 I was like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:47:13.000 He's like, oh yeah, I don't even know it without this fucking son. 1.00

01:47:15.000 He was in the military. 1.00

01:47:16.000 He was an Air Force flight surgeon. 0.99

01:47:17.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:47:19.000 Steve, that guy is crazy as fuck. 1.00

01:47:21.000 He's been my friend for 27 years, 28 years. 1.00

01:47:26.000 Actually more than that. 0.99

01:47:28.000 Shit, how many years? 1.00

01:47:29.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:47:32.000 Dude, 30 years.

01:47:33.000 He's been my friend for 30-something years.

01:47:35.000 33 years.

01:47:36.000 Wow, that's crazy.

01:47:38.000 Yeah, that guy, he's in his 60s.

01:47:40.000 He gets his body fixed just so he can go back to sparring again.

01:47:43.000 He's in his 60s.

01:47:44.000 Blows his rotator cuff.

01:47:45.000 Well, I'm gonna have to get that fixed. 0.99

01:47:46.000 Gets it all fucking stitched up. 0.97

01:47:48.000 Well, blew my knee out again. 0.99

01:47:49.000 Gotta get that fixed.

01:47:50.000 He's had more than 20 knee surgeries. 0.94

01:47:54.000 He's crazy. 1.00

01:47:55.000 Guy doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:47:56.000 He's going to go training with young kids. 1.00

01:47:58.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:47:59.000 He'll come after you, too, like a wild dog. 1.00

01:48:01.000 He's always been that way.

01:48:03.000 He was an ophthalmologist when I met him.

01:48:05.000 He was doing his residency in Boston.

01:48:07.000 This guy, I've never met anybody that worked harder.

01:48:10.000 There's a few people in my life that, when I was young, that let me know what hard work really was. 1.00

01:48:14.000 Like, I thought I worked hard, and then I'd watch these guys, and I'd just go, fuck. 0.99

01:48:18.000 One of them was Steve. 1.00

01:48:19.000 Steve was an ophthalmologist.

01:48:22.000 He was doing his residency.

01:48:24.000 He was sitting on the toilet, eating food out of a tray, and he fell asleep and his buzzer went off.

01:48:30.000 So he's shitting, eating, and sleeping at the same time, and his buzzer goes off to tell him to go back to work.

01:48:36.000 Because when you're in your residency, you do these insane, insane hours. 0.96

01:48:41.000 They're just mind-blowing.

01:48:43.000 And then you're studying, and it's chaos.

01:48:45.000 The amount of sleep that they get versus the amount of work that they have to do, it's amazing how nobody just...

01:48:52.000 People don't constantly, accidentally kill people.

01:48:54.000 Because they're all so tired.

01:48:56.000 It's the weirdest thing about doctors. 0.98

01:48:57.000 I don't know if they still do it this way, but the way they used to do it, they would make them work these fucking ungodly hours. 0.91

01:49:05.000 And you would always be exhausted.

01:49:07.000 And so you would think you'd want to be wide awake and thinking clearly to make medical decisions, especially about people's vision.

01:49:13.000 Right?

01:49:13.000 Nope.

01:49:14.000 All these fucking guys. 1.00

01:49:15.000 They make them work insane, insane hours. 1.00

01:49:18.000 And the other one was my friend Junk Shik. 0.98

01:49:20.000 Junk Shik Chang. 0.96

01:49:21.000 He was a U.S. National Taekwondo champion.

01:49:23.000 And he came from my same gym.

01:49:25.000 And he was the guy who won the championships while he was in medical school. 1.00

01:49:29.000 This fucking guy. 0.99

01:49:30.000 You want to talk about a guy who worked hard? 1.00

01:49:32.000 I never met anybody who worked harder.

01:49:34.000 Complained less.

01:49:35.000 Got so little sleep.

01:49:37.000 If he slept like four hours a night, it was plenty.

01:49:39.000 And he was training for the national taekwondo team. 0.99

01:49:42.000 This fucking guy used to do studying, and in between studying, he would sprint up the stairs in his university. 0.99

01:49:48.000 And come back down, and then sprint. 1.00

01:49:50.000 And he would do that, like, he would read or do his work for a couple hours, and then he would sprint upstairs.

01:49:55.000 Put his backpacks, throw all his books in his back, put his backpack on, and sprint up the stairs. 0.97

01:50:00.000 He just did every waking moment dedicated to all the shit that he had to get done. 0.98

01:50:05.000 Because he came from a Korean background, and Korean parents are super, some of them, super strict. 0.99

01:50:10.000 About their children succeeding.

01:50:12.000 His father just put all this incredible pressure on him.

01:50:15.000 So when I would think, like, people would say, wow, you work so hard.

01:50:17.000 Like, barely.

01:50:18.000 I sleep eight whole hours a night.

01:50:21.000 Like, these guys, Steve and Junkchick, two guys, incidentally, that were in the medical, you know, medical education, and they both, I never saw anybody work harder.

01:50:32.000 I've never seen anything in my life like that.

01:50:33.000 They would be exhausted.

01:50:35.000 Like, Junkchick would come in, he would come into training, and his mouth would be open like this. 0.98

01:50:39.000 He goes, I'm so fucking tired. 0.99

01:50:41.000 I'm so fucking tired. 0.98

01:50:43.000 Well, then training would start. 1.00

01:50:44.000 This fucking guy goes, ah! 1.00

01:50:46.000 He would fire up and get crazy. 1.00

01:50:48.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:50:49.000 He would fire up and just start kicking the shit out of people. 1.00

01:50:52.000 And he wasn't even, like, a talented guy. 0.99

01:50:55.000 He wasn't, like, physically talented.

01:50:56.000 He wasn't, like, some LeBron James, some unusual freak specimen of athleticism.

01:51:02.000 5'5", 5'6", Korean kid who just didn't take no for an answer. 0.99

01:51:08.000 Just didn't fucking take no for an answer. 0.98

01:51:10.000 And figured out how to win the national title. 1.00

01:51:12.000 While he was in fucking medical school! 1.00

01:51:14.000 So whenever I was around people that were, you know, that would say, yeah, I work hard, I work too fucking hard, I'm like, damn. 0.99

01:51:20.000 I'm not saying you should work the way those guys did, because I don't think you should. 0.97

01:51:24.000 I think that's too much.

01:51:25.000 I think there's a point of, like, you can overtrain, and fighters overtrain, they work out too hard, they come into the fight and they're exhausted, they just never recovered from their training.

01:51:35.000 There's something admirable about the ability to do what they did.

01:51:38.000 Like, I don't think you should do it.

01:51:39.000 I don't think you should work that hard, because I think you kill yourself.

01:51:42.000 I think everybody should get a taste of it, to just know. 0.99

01:51:45.000 Bro, we're fucking soft. 0.99

01:51:46.000 We're fucking soft. 1.00

01:51:47.000 We're fucking soft. 0.99

01:51:48.000 We do what we have to do. 0.98

01:51:50.000 We were talking about this before.

01:51:51.000 Like, when I went home with Mercy, and I took her to a park one day, I told you, it was cold out.

01:51:56.000 My wife said, put the jacket on her. 1.00

01:51:58.000 Fuck no. 1.00

01:51:59.000 Take the fucking jacket off and no gloves either. 1.00

01:52:01.000 Let her climb and shit. 1.00

01:52:02.000 My wife's like, but her hands are freezing. 1.00

01:52:04.000 Look at what she's living out out there. 0.97

01:52:05.000 We're soft.

01:52:06.000 Yeah.

01:52:06.000 You know, we're just talking about that.

01:52:08.000 When you go on that ferry, what do you think?

01:52:09.000 When that ferry stops in February when it's 10 below in Manhattan?

01:52:13.000 No. 1.00

01:52:14.000 And you know, once that sun goes down, it's fucking brutal on that goddamn ferry. 1.00

01:52:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:52:18.000 And you just make it work.

01:52:19.000 You know, but we forget sometimes. 0.99

01:52:21.000 Listen, man, how hard do you fucking work? 0.98

01:52:23.000 How hard do you work when I first met you? 0.99

01:52:25.000 You just work smarter now.

01:52:27.000 You still put in the hours. 0.99

01:52:29.000 You just work fucking smarter now. 1.00

01:52:31.000 When I met you, you used to do news radio and then go to the fucking store and hang with me till midnight. 0.99

01:52:36.000 Which ain't no fucking joke, my friend. 0.99

01:52:38.000 A couple of Friday nights, you would shoot from 12 or 11 and you wouldn't get out of news radio till 10. And I don't know what you were making on news radio, but the character was you still came down and did your $15 spot. 0.96

01:52:49.000 And you follow whoever, and you were fucking happy, and that's work ethic.

01:52:54.000 And you know, how many times you talk to a comedian, they tell you things aren't going their way. 0.81

01:52:58.000 And you say, okay, what have you been doing lately? 0.92

01:53:00.000 And they tell you, and you're like, are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:53:03.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:53:05.000 You know how hard work goes into being a top-notch fucking comic? 0.99

01:53:09.000 We just talk about Dave Chappelle being at the store. 0.98

01:53:12.000 How old is Ron White? 0.99

01:53:13.000 Didn't he follow media at the fucking store? 1.00

01:53:15.000 This is a guy that's a millionaire. 1.00

01:53:17.000 You're still fucking out there every fucking night, man. 1.00

01:53:19.000 It's why he's still good. 1.00

01:53:20.000 I look at these fucking kids and they tell me, oh, I'm tired. 1.00

01:53:23.000 What fucking tired are you talking about, man? 1.00

01:53:26.000 What fucking tired are you talking about? 1.00

01:53:28.000 The first time I slept and I got no reason why was when I got locked up at 27. Before that, I was asleep. 0.99

01:53:34.000 Three hours here on a couch in between Coke rocks and fucking... 0.99

01:53:38.000 You know, whatever. 1.00

01:53:40.000 Sleep apnea machine.

01:53:41.000 There was no sleep apnea machine.

01:53:43.000 You just roughed it out then.

01:53:44.000 You know, but now people, oh, I want to do this with my life. 0.99

01:53:47.000 You got to put in the fucking hours, you know? 0.98

01:53:49.000 I read the Rolling Stone article, you know, and there it showed. 1.00

01:53:52.000 You put in the hours, Joe Rogan.

01:53:54.000 It showed a lot.

01:53:54.000 You know, I read that article, and I'm like, this is a beautiful article.

01:53:58.000 But there was many ways that didn't show the reasons why I loved you.

01:54:01.000 And that's because of your work ethic.

01:54:03.000 I thought that when you moved to this town, because when I got here, when you moved to this town, you got a TV show, you stopped going to the store.

01:54:10.000 That's the impression I got.

01:54:12.000 He started working harder.

01:54:14.000 He started working harder, man.

01:54:16.000 And that's where I got it from.

01:54:17.000 I finally realized, you know what?

01:54:19.000 When you call down to the store, you got to call in coast to coast.

01:54:22.000 You got to call in Sunday to Sunday.

01:54:25.000 And if it's five nights a week, how many times do we leave the store at 3 in the morning, man?

01:54:29.000 A lot.

01:54:30.000 You know what the big one was, too?

01:54:32.000 You've got to be willing to do those non-paid regular spots.

01:54:35.000 A lot of guys don't want to do those non-paid regular spots.

01:54:37.000 You gotta show up and wait.

01:54:38.000 And that's how I got passed.

01:54:40.000 It's one of the main reasons why Mitzi passed me. 0.82

01:54:42.000 Two main reasons.

01:54:43.000 One, the Todd.

01:54:43.000 That dude, the Todd.

01:54:45.000 The Todd, he was on MTV. He was one of Pauly's friends.

01:54:48.000 Fucking great guy. 0.98

01:54:50.000 That guy was the best. 0.99

01:54:51.000 He was so nice.

01:54:52.000 And he said, I'm gonna help you.

01:54:55.000 He goes, you're really funny.

01:54:56.000 He goes, I'm gonna sit next to Mitzi, and I'm gonna laugh while you're on stage.

01:55:00.000 She told me.

01:55:00.000 And he goes, and then one day, he goes...

01:55:03.000 You're going to have a friend that you want to get past, you'll do the same thing.

01:55:08.000 Then that dude, he had a serious problem. 0.96

01:55:11.000 He had a serious mental problem. 0.99

01:55:13.000 He had something wrong physically with his brain.

01:55:16.000 I don't remember what it was, but it was so depressing to me because he showed me great camaraderie.

01:55:26.000 There's this camaraderie that you have between fellow comics when you meet someone and they're coming up.

01:55:31.000 Like, a lot of times you get on Kill Tony.

01:55:33.000 You get these young guys or young girls that are coming up and you go, hey, you want to look at them?

01:55:37.000 Like, you're really funny.

01:55:38.000 Like, keep this up, man.

01:55:40.000 You can do this.

01:55:41.000 You're really funny.

01:55:42.000 And when you run into people that connect you like that, that hook you up like that, like, you sat down next to Mid-Seen.

01:55:50.000 It's like, ah! 0.99

01:55:53.000 Holy shit! 1.00

01:55:54.000 Just laughed it up, hammed it up. 1.00

01:55:57.000 The audience was laughing too.

01:55:58.000 So Mitzi was like, you're passed.

01:56:00.000 Come here.

01:56:02.000 You're passed.

01:56:03.000 You're now paid regularly.

01:56:04.000 You can call in on Monday.

01:56:06.000 That was, to me, that was way bigger a deal than even getting a TV show.

01:56:11.000 I was already on a TV show. 0.99

01:56:12.000 The TV show wasn't shit. 0.99

01:56:15.000 I was like, I'm at the store. 0.99

01:56:17.000 I made it.

01:56:18.000 I'm in.

01:56:19.000 I'm in.

01:56:20.000 I'm in at Mecca.

01:56:22.000 That was, when we were open micers, that was the spot.

01:56:26.000 There was only one spot.

01:56:27.000 It was Mecca.

01:56:28.000 There was the Catch a Rising Star in New York.

01:56:30.000 There was the comic strip in New York.

01:56:33.000 There was all these clubs.

01:56:35.000 We all knew about the Laugh Stop in Houston, where Kinison came from.

01:56:39.000 We all knew about all these good spots you're supposed to go to.

01:56:42.000 Zany's in Nashville was always a spot that people would talk about.

01:56:45.000 But there was one Mecca. 0.93

01:56:47.000 You know?

01:56:48.000 It's funny because I talked about this last week, and this is something that, again, wasn't in the interview you did.

01:56:55.000 You know, I was...

01:56:56.000 All right, so I got funny in 2000, and then I got a few movies.

01:56:59.000 You got funnier before that, man.

01:57:00.000 And then I got stuck.

01:57:01.000 And then you got stuck.

01:57:03.000 And then I had to talk with somebody.

01:57:04.000 I got to tell you, I had to talk with the black dude who used to teach me Juan Hop Gwendo.

01:57:09.000 Okay? 0.92

01:57:11.000 As silly as this was, you know, Winahawk was an offshoot of Kempo. 0.94

01:57:15.000 It's Hawaiian, and this was the Kaskus. 0.97

01:57:17.000 What's his name?

01:57:18.000 Mark Takaskus?

01:57:19.000 This is his father's first student from Denver. 1.00

01:57:22.000 These two black guys didn't fuck around. 1.00

01:57:23.000 Was this in here? 1.00

01:57:24.000 Here.

01:57:25.000 And he was saying that...

01:57:27.000 You know, he does this thing.

01:57:29.000 And he goes, I really started getting into martial arts when I started teaching.

01:57:34.000 Yeah.

01:57:35.000 Because that's the complete different story.

01:57:37.000 And he goes, did you ever consider teaching stand-up? 0.99

01:57:39.000 And I was like, fuck, who would listen to me? 0.99

01:57:41.000 And I went home. 1.00

01:57:42.000 I thought about what he was saying to me. 0.99

01:57:45.000 When we got to the store, when I got to the store, you know the first week I became a regular, like the third night I got into a fucking beef. 0.93

01:57:51.000 And I can name four times I got into beefs with those older jealousy-type comics. 0.94

01:57:56.000 Oh, there was a bunch of those movies.

01:57:58.000 And you had it.

01:57:58.000 I'm not going to say nothing.

01:57:59.000 The one time in the main room. 0.99

01:58:00.000 One time, oh shit, with the glass in the fucking original room when there was no booze. 0.99

01:58:05.000 The guy broke the bottle, okay? 1.00

01:58:07.000 Yeah.

01:58:07.000 And I remember...

01:58:09.000 Thinking that. 0.97

01:58:10.000 Then you had Charlie Hill who would fucking pull you aside and go, hey man, I had belly laughs when you were on stage and I hang in with it. 0.97

01:58:20.000 I know you're having a hard time here. 0.98

01:58:21.000 I know it's, you know, 1.35 in the morning and you're going up, but it's going to pay off for you.

01:58:27.000 Alan Stevens put me in fucking Arliss opposite James Coburn, my idol.

01:58:31.000 We were just talking one day and he goes, you really like James Coburn? 0.95

01:58:34.000 He's scheduled to do Arliss.

01:58:35.000 I'm going to get you on it.

01:58:36.000 Dog, You know what that does to your insides. 1.00

01:58:40.000 But you had these scumbags. 0.99

01:58:41.000 And I remember, again, I thought to myself, I'm never going to ever do something with this. 0.99

01:58:46.000 But if I ever do, I'm going to be nice to these kids.

01:58:50.000 Yeah.

01:58:50.000 When I go to the store now, it's hugs with the young kids.

01:58:53.000 It's all encouragement.

01:58:54.000 I get in and out of there. 0.85

01:58:55.000 I don't want to be that old pervert or that old guy that's giving advice. 0.90

01:58:59.000 No, no, no, no. 0.82

01:58:59.000 I look in the eye, I put my hand down, and I say, hey, man. 0.82

01:59:02.000 No, seriously! 0.99

01:59:03.000 You held court the other day in the fucking... 0.99

01:59:05.000 I got a video, a short video. 0.99

01:59:06.000 I put it up on YouTube where you're talking about Guns N' Roses.

01:59:09.000 Well, I put it up on Instagram.

01:59:11.000 It was a short video.

01:59:12.000 But when you were in the back, by the back bar, holding court the other night...

01:59:15.000 Well, it's this camaraderie there that wasn't there when we came.

01:59:19.000 When we came up.

01:59:20.000 So I made...

01:59:20.000 And you know what I'm going to tell you something?

01:59:22.000 It's made me a 100% better comic.

01:59:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:59:25.000 A hundred!

01:59:26.000 Being, you know, Tony, those young door guys, you know how hard it is to be a door guy and sit there and say hello to people.

01:59:34.000 In your heart, you want to do the same thing.

01:59:37.000 Guys, I don't know how many times I went home at night.

01:59:39.000 Five years into comedy, I'd cry myself to sleep.

01:59:42.000 I'd circle Just the Laps.

01:59:44.000 Remember Just the Laps?

01:59:45.000 Sure.

01:59:45.000 The newspaper.

01:59:46.000 And the back page was all the clubs.

01:59:49.000 And I would sit there and circle the clubs that I was someday going to perform at.

01:59:52.000 The Seattle Underground, the Punchline of Atlanta, The Last Stop.

01:59:58.000 What was the other one?

01:59:59.000 What was the one where Ralphie fell through the stage?

02:00:01.000 That's real?

02:00:02.000 Yeah, that's a true story.

02:00:04.000 That the stage was, that club was legendary in Houston, way before The Last Stop.

02:00:09.000 The other where the Houston Improv moved in.

02:00:11.000 Yeah, yeah, there's another one. 0.99

02:00:11.000 That was a fucking great name. 0.99

02:00:13.000 They were just clubs that had names like the Insignia for Seattle was a building, the Seattle thing, and it was turned. 0.99

02:00:20.000 And I'm like, one day I'm going to fucking play there. 0.96

02:00:23.000 And then after three minutes between the cocaine and who the fuck I was deep down inside, I would just break down into tears and go, I'm never going to be good enough to play those clubs. 0.99

02:00:32.000 Why would I say that to myself? 1.00

02:00:34.000 This is just a fucking pipe dream. 1.00

02:00:36.000 You know, I'm not doing this shit. 1.00

02:00:37.000 So now to be up there with these guys. 0.99

02:00:41.000 The other night, Joe Rogan, I almost went home.

02:00:43.000 Do you know that?

02:00:44.000 Joey Diaz, the old Joey Diaz, when Adam came over and said, hey man, you mind if Chappelle goes up? 0.99

02:00:50.000 I said, fuck no. 1.00

02:00:51.000 Before you, I said, fuck no. 1.00

02:00:53.000 The old Joey Diaz would have got fucking insulting me, putting Dave Chappelle on him like if I was somebody. 1.00

02:00:58.000 And I'd get in my car and leave. 0.97

02:01:00.000 Years ago I would just leave. 1.00

02:01:01.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:01:02.000 I was like, no, man, Joe Rogan wouldn't leave. 1.00

02:01:04.000 He'd fucking sit down and get up there. 0.99

02:01:06.000 And Joe, I had such a fucking good time the other night watching Chappelle. 0.99

02:01:10.000 Like, I learned something, man. 0.97

02:01:12.000 But this thing we're going through isn't about podcasts.

02:01:15.000 It isn't about nothing right now.

02:01:17.000 It's about, you know, I did The Belly Room last night.

02:01:19.000 Uh-oh, last Wednesday.

02:01:21.000 Oh, my God.

02:01:22.000 11.15, The Dollar Show.

02:01:24.000 Yeah.

02:01:25.000 The Dollar Show.

02:01:26.000 Sold out.

02:01:26.000 That night, I told you I couldn't do yours, but I could do the late one.

02:01:30.000 I left there feeling like I won the Academy Award because I helped these young kids.

02:01:35.000 Like, I made these young kids.

02:01:36.000 They hugged me.

02:01:37.000 They offered me weed. 1.00

02:01:39.000 You know, that waitress sucks dick. 1.00

02:01:43.000 I don't know, but it made me feel... 1.00

02:01:46.000 I didn't take no money.

02:01:48.000 I didn't get $15.

02:01:49.000 It wasn't about that, man.

02:01:51.000 It was about doing something with these young guys and these young guys looking at you differently and letting them know that, hey, man, I ain't no better than you, and someday you're going to be way better than me.

02:02:00.000 I just watch your set.

02:02:02.000 You're a writer, man. 1.00

02:02:03.000 You're a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:02:04.000 That has made me a way better comic than doing open mics, Because now I see it from a different angle. 1.00

02:02:12.000 I love comedy again.

02:02:13.000 I love watching it.

02:02:14.000 But I like watching the young guys at the store. 1.00

02:02:17.000 There's some fucking goofy, fucking funny white guys. 0.99

02:02:20.000 Don't you feel like the whole attitude of that place feels different? 1.00

02:02:23.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99

02:02:24.000 Way better, right? 1.00

02:02:25.000 I think that's the internet.

02:02:27.000 I think that's a big...

02:02:28.000 Like, the crop of guys that were coming in, the new crop over the last, like, ten years, they're coming in for the right reasons.

02:02:35.000 I love you with all my heart, but you're making it sound too good. 0.97

02:02:38.000 They got rid of the shitheads up there. 0.98

02:02:40.000 Okay. 0.99

02:02:42.000 Let's eliminate the internet. 0.98

02:02:43.000 You're a sweet guy.

02:02:44.000 And that's why I love you to death.

02:02:46.000 But let's be honest. 1.00

02:02:47.000 They got rid of the pure shit up there. 1.00

02:02:49.000 Pure shit tape came into that store and they're no longer there. 1.00

02:02:53.000 They're such shit, they won't even show their faces no more because we called them out on it. 1.00

02:02:57.000 They turned something beautiful into shit. 1.00

02:03:00.000 That was our fucking home. 1.00

02:03:02.000 That was our camaraderie. 1.00

02:03:03.000 That was my base.

02:03:05.000 That was everything to me, man.

02:03:06.000 That was everything to me. 1.00

02:03:08.000 And one day, some fucking guy came in, and some fucking dumb comic started putting shit in his fucking head, and that motherfucker don't go to the comedy store no more. 1.00

02:03:15.000 And let's get out of the way. 1.00

02:03:17.000 Caparulo, suck my dick. 1.00

02:03:18.000 That's what you get for being a cunt all your fucking life. 1.00

02:03:21.000 That's what you get. 1.00

02:03:22.000 You and Tommy can both suck my dick. 1.00

02:03:24.000 Merry Christmas. 1.00

02:03:25.000 And don't let me see you at the store no more, Caparulo. 1.00

02:03:28.000 You fucking faggot. 1.00

02:03:30.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

02:03:30.000 Oh, my. 1.00

02:03:31.000 My little punk ass bitch. 1.00

02:03:33.000 He threw all of us under the bus, bro. 1.00

02:03:35.000 I found out about a ton of shit. 1.00

02:03:37.000 Fuck that motherfucker. 1.00

02:03:39.000 That's why I woke up one day and put it on Twitter. 1.00

02:03:41.000 You're a cunt. 1.00

02:03:42.000 And that same night I had to put him up in the main room and he froze when he saw me. 1.00

02:03:45.000 Then he had to follow you and he was calling the fucking club to tell him not to put you up. 0.97

02:03:50.000 To wait till he got there. 0.99

02:03:53.000 So when I found that out, that was it.

02:03:55.000 Every time I see him at the store, I just glare at him. 0.99

02:03:57.000 I'm going to get fucking, what's his name? 0.99

02:03:59.000 The kid with the diabetes that's crazy. 0.99

02:04:01.000 How do you know that for sure? 1.00

02:04:02.000 Because I find out little fucking things. 1.00

02:04:04.000 I know everything, cocksucker. 1.00

02:04:05.000 That's my job, okay? 1.00

02:04:07.000 That's my job.

02:04:07.000 You don't see him down there no more.

02:04:09.000 What's that expression?

02:04:10.000 You won't be seeing him no more.

02:04:11.000 When they go to Michael Corleone, when he's making the thing, hey, what happened with Paulie?

02:04:15.000 And the fat guy looks at me and goes, you won't be seeing him no more.

02:04:19.000 And Sonny looks at me and goes, okay.

02:04:21.000 And he dips the bread in the sauce.

02:04:23.000 It was Tommy.

02:04:25.000 Now he did a podcast with Skagel. 1.00

02:04:27.000 Did you listen to that psycho fucking moron on there? 1.00

02:04:30.000 That fucking psycho! 1.00

02:04:33.000 That's what the problem is! 1.00

02:04:34.000 These fucking psychos have taken over clubs and they give clubs a bad name and then, you know, you don't want to play that club no more. 1.00

02:04:40.000 The Comedy Store is the best club in the fucking universe. 1.00

02:04:44.000 There's Martians up there in Mars planning a fucking visit just to go to the Comedy Store because there's something about it. 1.00

02:04:51.000 Even with those old guys, when we were going there, there was something about it. 0.99

02:04:54.000 We had each other, bro.

02:04:56.000 We had each other.

02:04:56.000 We had a little thing, and Dice used to sit on the stairs, and crack jokes, and Barris, and all those guys.

02:05:02.000 Dom Barris, who does he fucking insult? 0.98

02:05:04.000 Nobody. 0.99

02:05:05.000 Dom Barris is the salt of the comedy store after midnight.

02:05:07.000 There's just certain people that have made the comedy store.

02:05:10.000 He insults you?

02:05:11.000 Is that what you're saying?

02:05:13.000 Jamie was saying him.

02:05:14.000 He insults him.

02:05:15.000 No, no.

02:05:16.000 This is what really happened at the store. 1.00

02:05:17.000 You put a bunch of shithead fucking comics at a great place and they poisoned it for years. 1.00

02:05:23.000 And look at the energy of the store now. 1.00

02:05:24.000 The proof is in the pudding.

02:05:25.000 I'm not talking nothing out of line here.

02:05:27.000 I'm not saying nothing out of line here.

02:05:29.000 Tommy's gone.

02:05:30.000 Cap is gone.

02:05:31.000 That's it. 0.99

02:05:32.000 The store is fucking beautiful. 1.00

02:05:33.000 You had a couple of dismal guys that would sit there every night throwing fucking witchcraft on all the good comics. 1.00

02:05:39.000 Fuck you! 1.00

02:05:39.000 I hope you're bomb. 1.00

02:05:40.000 I hope he doesn't make it so I can get a stupid fallout set. 1.00

02:05:43.000 They're all fucking gone. 1.00

02:05:45.000 That old wood that would sit there and... 0.99

02:05:47.000 You getting a spot tonight?

02:05:48.000 Man, I... I wish Joe Rogan was my friend, making little remarks.

02:05:52.000 They're all gone.

02:05:54.000 It's over. 0.99

02:05:55.000 It's a positive comedy fucking haven now. 0.97

02:05:58.000 I only go down there three times a week out of respect because I don't want to be that old pervert guy sitting around with the waitresses talking to young comics. 0.97

02:06:08.000 I'm a comic.

02:06:09.000 I go get my work out.

02:06:10.000 I get in my car and I leave.

02:06:12.000 I'd love to be able to hang out there for two hours, but I can't.

02:06:15.000 But the other night Ari was there.

02:06:17.000 We were giggling in the hallways.

02:06:19.000 Look at what happened the other night. 0.99

02:06:20.000 When did we start this podcast with Chappelle goofing on Steve Renazzisi and Ari and they all had a great fucking time. 0.97

02:06:28.000 I guess everybody did 9-11 jokes to Steve Renazzisi. 0.97

02:06:31.000 Yeah, it was brutally hilarious.

02:06:33.000 I wish I was there for that.

02:06:34.000 That is so funny.

02:06:35.000 It's good that he's taking it on the chin like that. 1.00

02:06:37.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:06:37.000 He's a great guy and it happens and you make mistakes and that's it. 1.00

02:06:40.000 But the point is we're fucking back. 0.84

02:06:43.000 We're back as comics. 0.97

02:06:45.000 It's better than ever.

02:06:46.000 We're back as comics.

02:06:46.000 It's better than ever, that place.

02:06:47.000 No shitheads go up there. 1.00

02:06:49.000 I think shitheads go to go in, and there's a force now that's an anti-shithead fucking force, and it keeps them out. 1.00

02:06:55.000 That's the truth, man. 1.00

02:06:56.000 That's the fucking truth. 0.99

02:06:59.000 Everybody's super cool up there. 0.99

02:07:01.000 The other night I was starting to get a mini-anxiety attack.

02:07:03.000 Do you know that?

02:07:04.000 No edibles, no nothing.

02:07:05.000 I was starting to get a mini-anxiety attack.

02:07:07.000 And as I was walking to the stairs at the store, I heard, honey, and I looked, and it was Sarah Tiana with a hat on.

02:07:13.000 And my anxiety went away, bro.

02:07:16.000 They just gave me a different twist.

02:07:17.000 She's so nice.

02:07:18.000 She's the best.

02:07:19.000 She's such a nice person.

02:07:21.000 She's so nice.

02:07:22.000 Every time you're around her, she's just so kind.

02:07:26.000 Just a sweetheart, you know?

02:07:28.000 And don't cut what I said out.

02:07:29.000 What I said out.

02:07:31.000 Because, dog, I'm a 52. I got one foot in the gray with a banana peel.

02:07:34.000 I don't give a fuck if somebody gets mad at me. 0.99

02:07:36.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

02:07:37.000 I'll call your Romero to fucking handle things for me now at this age. 0.99

02:07:40.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.96

02:07:41.000 When I see Cap, I say hi, and I like him, and I give him a hug.

02:07:44.000 I don't know what the fuck happens behind the scenes, but he's always nice to me.

02:07:47.000 Yeah, same here. 1.00

02:07:48.000 Deep down inside, he wishes you fucking get hit by a helicopter. 1.00

02:07:52.000 I was watching last night Jimmy Schubert do magic tricks. 1.00

02:07:58.000 And by the way, an amazing magician.

02:08:00.000 He started as a magician.

02:08:02.000 Yeah.

02:08:02.000 He was a magician for years.

02:08:05.000 But he said that he grew up doing comedy and magic.

02:08:11.000 Did you know that he also did that?

02:08:15.000 I only did it for a little while when I was about eight.

02:08:17.000 I got a magicked set for Christmas. 1.00

02:08:23.000 It teaches you how to do a few stupid tricks. 1.00

02:08:26.000 I did a little show on Fisherman's Wharf. 1.00

02:08:29.000 I did it a couple of times.

02:08:30.000 Did you really?

02:08:31.000 Yeah, I would just set up a box, and then people would give me money, and then I'd go buy comic books. 0.99

02:08:36.000 But I did it one time, and these fucking older kids fucked with me. 0.99

02:08:40.000 They kind of like gave me a hard time, and I got scared. 0.99

02:08:44.000 So I stopped doing it.

02:08:46.000 They just mocked me and were goofing on me, and I was like, oh, well, nothing I can do here.

02:08:51.000 I was like, you know, eight.

02:08:52.000 They were probably like young teenagers, like 13 or something like that, and they were mean.

02:08:56.000 So I was like, all right.

02:08:58.000 I got scared.

02:08:59.000 Stopped doing it.

02:09:01.000 But it was a weird thing.

02:09:03.000 If nobody tells you that you can't perform, I would go there and I'd watch these people put on shows.

02:09:08.000 They had all kinds of different shows.

02:09:09.000 People would just do street performance.

02:09:12.000 So I was like, I'll try this. 1.00

02:09:14.000 Fuck it, I got my magic trick thing. 1.00

02:09:15.000 I had a hat, a little magic hat. 1.00

02:09:17.000 I had a cape.

02:09:18.000 By myself.

02:09:19.000 Eight. 0.98

02:09:19.000 That's ridiculous. 0.98

02:09:20.000 Set up this fucking thing. 1.00

02:09:22.000 Set up this little... 1.00

02:09:25.000 Terrible magic tricks.

02:09:26.000 Awful at it.

02:09:27.000 But just banking on the fact that I was cute.

02:09:29.000 I got the kit too with the ball and you put it in it.

02:09:32.000 I had the little wand.

02:09:33.000 I gave up. 1.00

02:09:35.000 I couldn't do that shit. 1.00

02:09:36.000 It was tough. 1.00

02:09:37.000 No, I appreciate magic.

02:09:38.000 I like it if it's done well.

02:09:40.000 Schubert's magic. 0.89

02:09:41.000 I mean, he was bomb-ass wasted. 0.95

02:09:45.000 You could tell he was a little sloppy. 0.96

02:09:47.000 But his magic was legit.

02:09:49.000 It was to the point where he had four cards down there. 0.99

02:09:52.000 And we saw, just saw like one second ago what cards they were, and then he would turn them over like in front of us going, what the fuck? 0.99

02:09:58.000 That's impossible. 0.98

02:09:59.000 How did you do that?

02:10:00.000 His magic was legit. 0.99

02:10:02.000 Last week, at Gabriel's Christmas party, he had a magician there, and the motherfucker came up to me. 0.99

02:10:06.000 I was eating. 0.99

02:10:07.000 By the way, Lucille's barbecue on Long Beach, they ain't fucking around, though. 0.98

02:10:12.000 Those baby back ribs were stronger than that. 0.97

02:10:15.000 Really?

02:10:15.000 So a magician came, and he showed me and Steve Simone the card.

02:10:19.000 You gotta get up on that microphone.

02:10:20.000 He showed me and Steve Simone the card, and then he went like this, and he did something, and he told the lady over there, take out your sleeve. 0.99

02:10:28.000 The card was in her fucking sleeve. 1.00

02:10:30.000 I can't figure out how the fuck he did this shit. 1.00

02:10:33.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:10:33.000 She worked for him. 1.00

02:10:34.000 No, no. 1.00

02:10:35.000 She was some fucking manager or something stupid. 1.00

02:10:37.000 It was fucking crazy. 1.00

02:10:38.000 I don't know how the hell they do it. 1.00

02:10:39.000 I don't know how they do it.

02:10:40.000 There's some craziness going on with some of these magicians.

02:10:43.000 The sleight of hand and the way they figure out how to set things up.

02:10:47.000 It's an art.

02:10:48.000 It's an art.

02:10:48.000 They don't want to tell you either.

02:10:49.000 They don't want to tell you.

02:10:50.000 We had a guy, he bent a spoon in front of us. 0.99

02:10:53.000 I'm like, how the fuck is this guy doing this? 0.98

02:10:54.000 He's bending a spoon with the air. 0.99

02:10:56.000 He's moving his finger around it and the spoon starts to bend and twist. 0.99

02:11:00.000 I don't know how the fuck he's doing it. 0.99

02:11:01.000 I don't know how he's doing it. 0.98

02:11:04.000 But he's letting you know, like, there's a trick to it.

02:11:06.000 I'm not going to tell you how I do it, but it's just a trick.

02:11:09.000 And they've figured out how to do it in a way that your eyes don't catch.

02:11:13.000 Like, there's a lot of the movements they do when they're shuffling the deck and moving cards around.

02:11:18.000 Like, your eyes just are not catching the fluidity of their movement.

02:11:21.000 They get so good at it.

02:11:22.000 They can just hide the cards.

02:11:23.000 And you don't even see it.

02:11:24.000 You're like, okay, what happened?

02:11:25.000 And all of a sudden, the card's on top of his hat. 0.99

02:11:27.000 And you're like, where the fuck? 0.99

02:11:28.000 Like, you didn't see it. 0.99

02:11:30.000 You ever see a good pickpocket, though?

02:11:32.000 Yeah.

02:11:33.000 Only in videos, not in person.

02:11:35.000 When you played pool, you ever see people who pickpocket people for a living?

02:11:38.000 They bump into you.

02:11:40.000 It's amazing.

02:11:41.000 Yeah.

02:11:41.000 The whole thing.

02:11:42.000 And when they do it in teams.

02:11:43.000 Have you watched that movie Focus yet?

02:11:45.000 No.

02:11:45.000 Not an Academy Award winning movie.

02:11:47.000 Anybody see Focus?

02:11:48.000 What is Focus?

02:11:49.000 Which one's that?

02:11:49.000 Focus is Will Smith and some blind chick.

02:11:52.000 And they run a scam of...

02:11:54.000 We're good to go to New Orleans for the Super Bowl and how the work goes down. 0.99

02:11:58.000 They take everything they shoplift, everything they fucking thing, and it goes on eBay. 0.99

02:12:02.000 So let's say they steal. 1.00

02:12:03.000 Fucking brilliant. 0.99

02:12:04.000 And this is how it works, guys. 0.98

02:12:05.000 They bump into Red Van because my friend's mom used to do it.

02:12:10.000 They take just the credit cards.

02:12:12.000 They put the wallet back.

02:12:13.000 They have people at restaurants that when they take your wallet, you know when you give your credit card to people?

02:12:19.000 They take it and they have a thing.

02:12:21.000 And they go like this, then they sell it back to Will Smith.

02:12:24.000 So at the end of the day, Will Smith has all these credit cards.

02:12:26.000 Now he starts buying stuff online.

02:12:28.000 Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

02:12:30.000 Then they get it, then they put it on eBay. 1.00

02:12:31.000 And they sell it a third of a cost, and that's how people get all that shit. 1.00

02:12:34.000 Right. 0.99

02:12:35.000 And it just went, but forget about all that.

02:12:37.000 Dog, do me a favor. 0.99

02:12:38.000 Watch the motherfucking movie for the scene. 0.99

02:12:41.000 There's a scene they do where he bumps. 1.00

02:12:43.000 You ever see that little Chinese guy that plays gay on SVU? He always comes in and the child suffers from a dementia. 1.00

02:12:52.000 He's been in a lot of shows.

02:12:54.000 A lot of movies.

02:12:55.000 Dog, watch him in this movie.

02:12:56.000 One scene.

02:12:57.000 One thing.

02:12:58.000 They do, like, a gamble.

02:13:00.000 He's, like, the world's biggest gambler.

02:13:02.000 He bets on anything.

02:13:03.000 Like, he'll bet on anything.

02:13:04.000 Like, all you gotta do is entice him and the whole hustle.

02:13:07.000 But when this guy's doing it, they play sympathy for the devil, and you're thinking the movie's taking you somewhere else. 1.00

02:13:13.000 You're like, this motherfucking Chinese guy's the devil. 1.00

02:13:16.000 Because he's so smooth, Joe. 1.00

02:13:18.000 He plays the obnoxious Asian that's filthy rich, has a sports box, and the fucking three hot young fucking Asians waiting for him to suck his dick. 1.00

02:13:28.000 And everybody's drinking Dom or whatever, even better than Dom. 1.00

02:13:31.000 And he's brash and shit. 1.00

02:13:33.000 He's one of these... 1.00

02:13:33.000 Right there! 1.00

02:13:34.000 What is his name? 1.00

02:13:36.000 Look at that motherfucker! 1.00

02:13:37.000 Right there! 1.00

02:13:39.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:13:41.000 God damn! 1.00

02:13:42.000 He was good in that movie. 1.00

02:13:43.000 What is his name, Jamie?

02:13:45.000 Find his name. 0.83

02:13:46.000 Look at the young freak. 0.98

02:13:47.000 Backwards Hitler. 0.99

02:13:48.000 Look at the young freak waiting for him. 0.98

02:13:49.000 Look at him.

02:13:50.000 He had ten of them waiting for him.

02:13:51.000 Big old cigar.

02:13:53.000 Bro, this guy breaks it down.

02:13:56.000 Soak, and then the movie ends after that. 0.99

02:13:57.000 After that, you're just watching fucking go. 0.99

02:13:59.000 Focus, huh? 1.00

02:14:00.000 Focus.

02:14:01.000 Is it in theaters?

02:14:02.000 Netflix?

02:14:02.000 What is it?

02:14:03.000 I watched it on a plane, and I fucking got hooked on that scene. 0.97

02:14:05.000 I had to take it home and show my wife. 0.99

02:14:07.000 She was like, Jesus, he's fucking good. 1.00

02:14:09.000 B.D. Wong. 1.00

02:14:10.000 That guy's been in everything.

02:14:13.000 Where's he from?

02:14:14.000 San Francisco.

02:14:15.000 He's 60?

02:14:17.000 No, he's 50. 55. He's 55?

02:14:21.000 Yeah.

02:14:21.000 That's crazy.

02:14:22.000 Crazy. 0.97

02:14:23.000 He's got that Asian gene. 1.00

02:14:24.000 God damn, they look so much better than regular white people. 1.00

02:14:27.000 They're better models. 1.00

02:14:30.000 At 55?

02:14:31.000 Isn't that a 55-year-old white guy alive that looks like an Irish guy? 0.63

02:14:35.000 Jesus Christ.

02:14:36.000 That's like the polar opposite.

02:14:37.000 Chinese and Irish.

02:14:39.000 Like who ages better?

02:14:42.000 Wong, I think it's Chinese. 0.83

02:14:43.000 I think so. 1.00

02:14:44.000 He fits the motherfucking bill. 1.00

02:14:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:47.000 Yeah, that guy's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:14:49.000 He's been in a lot of movies. 1.00

02:14:50.000 Did you see the movie Tangerine?

02:14:54.000 Do you know anything about it?

02:14:55.000 No.

02:14:56.000 Tangerine is a movie that is all filmed on iPhones.

02:14:59.000 Oh, I heard about it.

02:15:00.000 I haven't seen it.

02:15:02.000 Yeah, and I was on Shroom, so I didn't know what the...

02:15:05.000 My friend was just like, let's watch this.

02:15:08.000 And I guess it's about transsexuals. 1.00

02:15:12.000 And out of nowhere, Ian Edwards pops up in the movie, and I'm just like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:15:17.000 Why is Ian in here? 0.99

02:15:18.000 And it's a really good movie, because what they do is they took real transsexuals from L.A. that hang out at Donut Time at 3 in the morning, like in West Hollywood. 0.98

02:15:28.000 And then they mix it with actors.

02:15:30.000 And so it's got this documentary-type...

02:15:34.000 Wait, is this real people?

02:15:36.000 It's an interesting movie, though.

02:15:38.000 But Ian Edwards is in it. 0.99

02:15:40.000 Don't fuck me up. 1.00

02:15:40.000 It's not Donut Time. 1.00

02:15:41.000 It's Yum Yum Donuts on Santa Monica and motherfucking Highland. 0.95

02:15:45.000 I used to get stuck at that ladder all the time. 0.96

02:15:47.000 I used to go to Weight Watcher meetings.

02:15:49.000 I used to go to a 9 o'clock Weight Watcher meeting, so I had to be there by 8.40. 1.00

02:15:53.000 And I'd get stuck there Sunday mornings, and I'd look to my left, bro, and there'd be three hot motherfucking bitches. 1.00

02:16:00.000 And that little freak of us was like, maybe she's a hooker. 1.00

02:16:02.000 She'll suck my dick for $40. 1.00

02:16:04.000 And all of a sudden, they look at you, and that's how you could tell they're heavy-duty trannies, bro. 1.00

02:16:08.000 You just step on that fucking gas. 1.00

02:16:10.000 Well, the difference is in the eye contact. 1.00

02:16:12.000 The male transgender people make eye contact with you, like the transy, transgender hookers. 1.00

02:16:18.000 They make eye contact. 1.00

02:16:20.000 They look right at you. 0.89

02:16:21.000 Whereas, like, female hookers, they'll kind of look in your direction, like... 1.00

02:16:25.000 Does a transgender hook have a dick? 1.00

02:16:28.000 Depends. 1.00

02:16:29.000 They can or they don't have to.

02:16:31.000 They might have had the operation or they might never get the operation.

02:16:36.000 They still consider themselves a woman. 0.98

02:16:37.000 But they have boobs. 1.00

02:16:38.000 So they have tits with a dick. 1.00

02:16:40.000 They have tits with a dick and they still consider themselves a woman. 1.00

02:16:43.000 And they get hard-ons. 1.00

02:16:45.000 So figure that out.

02:16:49.000 There's pictures, a lot of them, of ones that are completely erect, fully woman. 0.99

02:16:57.000 Like, woman's ass, woman's legs, woman's waist, woman's breasts, woman's face. 1.00

02:17:03.000 Dick. 1.00

02:17:03.000 Hard dick. 1.00

02:17:04.000 So confusing. 0.99

02:17:06.000 It makes no sense anymore.

02:17:08.000 It's like, what are ya?

02:17:09.000 I mean, you can be whatever you want, but what are ya?

02:17:12.000 How does that work?

02:17:14.000 I mean, I'm not sure what's going on here. 1.00

02:17:17.000 You say she, but yet you have a dick. 1.00

02:17:20.000 But you're allowed to. 1.00

02:17:21.000 You're just allowed to, like, be whatever you want. 1.00

02:17:23.000 If you're a girl with a dick, then that's that. 1.00

02:17:26.000 It's just confusing. 1.00

02:17:28.000 It's too crazy for me to even comprehend. 0.80

02:17:31.000 Like, I don't fucking know what to even think anymore. 0.64

02:17:33.000 I'm for whatever, what everybody wants to do. 0.73

02:17:36.000 Yeah, no, I had a friend in Seattle that was very cool.

02:17:37.000 She was a trans.

02:17:38.000 She did the whole operation.

02:17:39.000 She was a comic.

02:17:40.000 I told you, but the problem was her head was too big. 1.00

02:17:43.000 See, that's where you fuck up right there. 1.00

02:17:45.000 That if you make the transgender, they cut your dick and they do all the other things, and your feelings change, but your head remains the same. 1.00

02:17:52.000 So her balance was off. 1.00

02:17:54.000 I'm not kidding you.

02:17:55.000 I'm not lying to you.

02:17:56.000 Her name was something. 1.00

02:17:58.000 So her head was too big for her neck? 0.74

02:17:59.000 She was half Japanese, half something. 0.99

02:18:02.000 Rita.

02:18:02.000 Rita O. Rita O. Whatever she was.

02:18:05.000 Rita O. Whatever. 0.99

02:18:06.000 And she ended up dying because she would fall. 0.91

02:18:09.000 And bang her head. 1.00

02:18:11.000 Because her head was too fucking big. 0.99

02:18:14.000 I remember that story. 0.99

02:18:17.000 That's the only one I really had, you know.

02:18:19.000 Remember the one we met in Vegas?

02:18:21.000 Yeah.

02:18:21.000 The one we met in Vegas where she kept showing it to us?

02:18:23.000 Yeah.

02:18:24.000 Oh, yeah.

02:18:25.000 We didn't even know.

02:18:26.000 She was so tiny.

02:18:27.000 She was so tiny you would never suspect that she used to be a dude.

02:18:30.000 I don't know nothing.

02:18:32.000 I don't know how old women are. 1.00

02:18:33.000 I don't know nothing.

02:18:34.000 I was at the mall the other day getting a picture with Santa Claus and there were these young girls with tight pants on and heels. 1.00

02:18:40.000 And I'm like, Terry, why are these women taking pictures of Santa Claus? 1.00

02:18:44.000 Terry's like, they ain't women. 1.00

02:18:45.000 Those are 15-year-old fucking girls. 1.00

02:18:47.000 There were women in my... 1.00

02:18:48.000 I don't know. 0.99

02:18:49.000 I couldn't fucking tell. 0.97

02:18:50.000 I can't tell, man. 0.99

02:18:51.000 Jared said the same thing.

02:18:53.000 Who?

02:18:53.000 No.

02:18:53.000 Fuck, Jared.

02:18:54.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:18:55.000 Do you think that...

02:18:57.000 I mean, do we just not remember it right?

02:19:00.000 Or do girls look different now when they're 15 than they did when we were 15? 1.00

02:19:03.000 Way different.

02:19:04.000 Are you sure though?

02:19:05.000 Yes, because they're now showing side boob like at young ages. 0.99

02:19:09.000 They didn't do that when they were young.

02:19:11.000 Some girls had bodies even back then. 1.00

02:19:14.000 Like you remember in high school, girls had boobs. 1.00

02:19:16.000 I mean there was girls that were 15 that had boobs for sure. 1.00

02:19:20.000 But they were also wearing underwear and not using Hitachis and looking at porn. 0.91

02:19:25.000 You know, they were...

02:19:26.000 What?

02:19:27.000 Like, when we grew up, these girls were like... 0.97

02:19:30.000 No, I'm saying they look different physically.

02:19:32.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:19:33.000 Like, are they more mature early?

02:19:35.000 Do they look like women earlier? 1.00

02:19:37.000 Is that true?

02:19:38.000 Or is it just the way they're dressing? 0.96

02:19:39.000 I am so fucking confused, I can't lie to you, man. 0.98

02:19:42.000 Listen, when I was 18, I didn't dig 18-year-old women. 1.00

02:19:45.000 So when I was 27, I didn't dig young women. 1.00

02:19:47.000 They just make me nervous.

02:19:49.000 They make me fidgety.

02:19:49.000 Now, I just started getting comfortable.

02:19:52.000 The reason why I go in the back and sit by the waitresses is because I always feel embarrassed.

02:19:57.000 I want everybody's eye on me.

02:19:58.000 I don't want no misunderstandings.

02:20:00.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.96

02:20:02.000 Listen, when I was 20 and I go to a bar and I was snorting and having a good time, I'd see a 30-year-old at the bar, I'd get fucking pissed. 1.00

02:20:11.000 Like, look at this punk-ass bitch at a bar. 1.00

02:20:13.000 You're too old, guy. 1.00

02:20:14.000 Go home.

02:20:15.000 You know, never mind a 40 or 50 year old, my blood pressure really goes up. 1.00

02:20:18.000 When I was like fucking 20, if I saw a 50 year old dancing on a disco, oh, my fucking, why is he here? 0.99

02:20:25.000 Why? 0.99

02:20:26.000 I couldn't figure it out.

02:20:27.000 That stayed with me for the rest of my life.

02:20:30.000 So when I got to be 27, I already felt out of place in most places.

02:20:34.000 I was like, these people are looking at me like I'm here to do something bad.

02:20:37.000 Never mind now. 0.95

02:20:38.000 And you got these young comics like Joey and they come and hug you and I'm fucking lost.

02:20:42.000 I'm like, listen, I can't do it.

02:20:44.000 I just feel weird.

02:20:45.000 I feel too old at the store.

02:20:47.000 I feel old at the store.

02:20:48.000 Do you know that?

02:20:49.000 Like a shame.

02:20:50.000 So I just go.

02:20:51.000 That's so weird.

02:20:52.000 I sit on the freezer.

02:20:53.000 I don't bother nobody.

02:20:55.000 But why do you feel like that?

02:20:56.000 I feel that. 0.99

02:20:56.000 Oh my God, because I was opposite that shit when I was 20. Yeah, but it's a different thing now. 0.99

02:21:02.000 I feel like when you go there, it's just a nice group of people that we all like.

02:21:06.000 Oh, no.

02:21:07.000 We all love.

02:21:08.000 The waitstaff, the management, the bartenders, the comics.

02:21:13.000 I love those people with all my But why would you feel like you're too old to hang around there?

02:21:17.000 Sometimes I'm driving, and the waitresses will come out and go, can you get me right up the hill?

02:21:21.000 Because they make the waitresses park all the way up in hell. 1.00

02:21:24.000 Like by Crest Hill?

02:21:26.000 All the way up there.

02:21:27.000 And they walk down?

02:21:29.000 Yeah, they walk down, and I'll drive the waitresses up the hill with both hands on the street, and we're looking straight ahead.

02:21:34.000 When they're like, goodnight, I'm like, goodnight! 1.00

02:21:36.000 Get out of the fucking car! 1.00

02:21:38.000 I don't want no fucking problems! 1.00

02:21:41.000 You know, but what can you tell a waitress? 1.00

02:21:43.000 I'm not gonna give you a ride. 1.00

02:21:44.000 You feel like a fucking idiot, but sometimes I'm like, you're leaving, Joey? 1.00

02:21:47.000 Can you give me a ride up the hill? 1.00

02:21:48.000 And you're like, okay.

02:21:49.000 And all that stuff, bro, bothers me.

02:21:52.000 Like, I can't.

02:21:52.000 I just can't.

02:21:54.000 Last night, on the way back from fucking Ventura, I can't lie to you, this is Christmas, right? 0.98

02:21:59.000 I said, maybe there's a strip club. 1.00

02:22:01.000 I haven't been to a strip club in 20 fucking years with Eddie. 0.98

02:22:06.000 Last time I went to a strip club was with Eddie, when we went down to Eddie's place. 0.99

02:22:10.000 What was that?

02:22:12.000 201?

02:22:12.000 Yeah, probably.

02:22:14.000 2000?

02:22:14.000 Right.

02:22:15.000 That's the last time I've been to a strip club. 1.00

02:22:16.000 I'm a fucking animal of a man. 1.00

02:22:18.000 I don't even go to strip clubs. 1.00

02:22:20.000 Last night I said, maybe I should go to a strip club. 0.62

02:22:22.000 But it was between strip club, hungry, and getting gas. 0.99

02:22:25.000 I went and got gas, and I went home and had a piece of fucking cheese, and I went to bed, though. 0.99

02:22:29.000 I'm scared of strip clubs, Joe Rogan. 1.00

02:22:32.000 Petrified.

02:22:32.000 Did I go on a strip club?

02:22:33.000 I don't know.

02:22:34.000 Go to Jumbos.

02:22:35.000 Well, hold on.

02:22:35.000 What are you scared of?

02:22:37.000 I don't know, Joe.

02:22:38.000 I'm just scared, man. 0.68

02:22:40.000 Of crazy women at my age. 1.00

02:22:42.000 I'm scared of crazy fucking women, man. 1.00

02:22:44.000 Are you scared that you would like them? 1.00

02:22:46.000 I like everybody.

02:22:47.000 I love women. 1.00

02:22:51.000 When you get to be 50, you look at like 30-year-olds and go, Jesus Christ.

02:22:55.000 Just a baby? 1.00

02:22:56.000 Yeah, that's just a fucking baby. 1.00

02:22:57.000 She doesn't even know how good that pussy is right now. 1.00

02:22:59.000 She has no fucking idea. 1.00

02:23:02.000 You know, it's just so weird. 0.99

02:23:03.000 So I don't know what a 14-year-old looks like or supposed to look like.

02:23:06.000 Well, I don't remember.

02:23:07.000 That's the problem.

02:23:08.000 I don't accurately remember what they looked like when I was 14 compared to what they look like today.

02:23:13.000 I'm pretty sure their bodies were exactly the same.

02:23:15.000 We're just seeing more of it. 0.98

02:23:16.000 Because we're seeing sluts. 1.00

02:23:18.000 Like, they look like porn stars nowadays, you know, at 14, where that wasn't the case back then. 0.99

02:23:22.000 It was, you know...

02:23:23.000 Yeah, it seems like there's definitely an influence. 0.95

02:23:27.000 Like the pop culture, like the Nicki Minaj, stick your ass out look, and all the Kim Kardashian stuff. 0.98

02:23:33.000 No, the young sister. 0.99

02:23:34.000 The young one.

02:23:35.000 Definitely the Kardashians.

02:23:36.000 It's the Kardashians.

02:23:38.000 Kendall, Kendall, that's the name?

02:23:40.000 What has she done that every day she's on my Yahoo page? 1.00

02:23:43.000 She's hot! 1.00

02:23:44.000 Why is she on my Yahoo page every day with some young black skinny kids? 1.00

02:23:48.000 It's all confusing.

02:23:49.000 Now there's Kendall and what's the other one? 0.99

02:23:50.000 It's all confusing.

02:23:51.000 It's all the whole thing.

02:23:52.000 There's a gang of them.

02:23:54.000 Kylie?

02:23:54.000 You know, I was thinking about something though.

02:23:56.000 Let me tell you something. 0.99

02:23:57.000 I ain't mad at the fucking sister no more. 1.00

02:23:59.000 I ain't mad at that fucking dirty whore. 1.00

02:24:01.000 I ain't mad at that bitch no more. 1.00

02:24:03.000 You know what, man? 1.00

02:24:04.000 She picked a loop, she pitched it. 1.00

02:24:05.000 I read the article about her fucking hat the other day. 1.00

02:24:08.000 She was making a million dollars an hour or something like that. 1.00

02:24:10.000 She broke the apple story.

02:24:11.000 I can't be mad at her, man.

02:24:13.000 That's the American dream.

02:24:15.000 How can I be mad at that?

02:24:16.000 How can I be mad at that?

02:24:18.000 She found a niche. 1.00

02:24:19.000 She showed her pussy one time. 1.00

02:24:21.000 She hasn't showed it anymore. 1.00

02:24:22.000 It's like she shows her pussy every three weeks. 1.00

02:24:24.000 She made a tape and she found a window. 1.00

02:24:28.000 A little fucking window. 1.00

02:24:29.000 Do I like it? 1.00

02:24:30.000 Do I want to hang out with her and Kanye fucking North, whatever? 0.99

02:24:33.000 No! 0.99

02:24:34.000 I don't want to hang out with those people.

02:24:35.000 Well, let's give credit where credit is due, man.

02:24:38.000 Well, she's the best ever at reality TV. That family is. 0.96

02:24:42.000 The best ever at reality TV. They figured out how to corner the market, to lock it down.

02:24:47.000 Every scandal makes the show better.

02:24:49.000 Like, there's some people that did reality TV and they got pretty famous, like John and Kate Plus 8. Dust in the wind.

02:24:58.000 What about the blonde chick that has a black boyfriend and he fucked a transvestite and they got back together. 1.00

02:25:04.000 She's one of the Hef's girls or something like that. 1.00

02:25:06.000 There's a bunch of them, but the John and K Plus 8, they were giant.

02:25:09.000 There was a giant show.

02:25:10.000 It was all over the news, all over the magazines.

02:25:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:25:13.000 They had artificial insemination, and she had fucking six babies inside of her. 1.00

02:25:18.000 It was insane. 1.00

02:25:19.000 Well, they broke up, and they didn't survive the scandal.

02:25:23.000 But these people, it doesn't matter what happens.

02:25:25.000 It doesn't matter who they marry. 0.99

02:25:27.000 It doesn't matter who gets divorced. 1.00

02:25:28.000 It doesn't matter who decides they're a woman. 1.00

02:25:30.000 It doesn't matter who decides they're a man.

02:25:32.000 It doesn't matter.

02:25:33.000 Just like the show keeps going.

02:25:35.000 They figured out a way that it's the right frequency of editing, of like real relatable drama, and people that are just, you know, they look good.

02:25:45.000 And they squeeze it all together in this crazy semi-fake show, where it's not really a reality show.

02:25:52.000 You can call it a reality show, but they set up every scenario.

02:25:55.000 It's obvious, so it's almost like semi-scripted.

02:25:58.000 So there's this weird show, and these people, they're just...

02:26:02.000 Famous for being famous. 0.97

02:26:04.000 She fucking wakes up in the morning and she looks at her thing and she'll ask Kanye, like, who's trending on... 1.00

02:26:09.000 Whatever. 1.00

02:26:10.000 Who's trending?

02:26:11.000 Ronda Rousey.

02:26:12.000 Watch this.

02:26:13.000 Bam! 0.98

02:26:14.000 Within five minutes, she's trending number one.

02:26:16.000 She goes to trend number one on Google. 1.00

02:26:18.000 If you're trending number one on Google, you're selling shit. 1.00

02:26:20.000 She's selling blouses and hairdos and Armenian dust and eye wax remover and fucking, you know, whatever the fuck. 1.00

02:26:28.000 Those Armenians have some fucking heavy-duty pussy hair. 1.00

02:26:31.000 Those Armenians, Middle Eastern chicks, you gotta shave that pussy three times with a double-edged razor and shit. 1.00

02:26:37.000 She got that Armenian hair, dog. 1.00

02:26:39.000 Yeah, that's Armenian hair.

02:26:41.000 You ain't cutting that with a scissor. 1.00

02:26:43.000 Good luck. 1.00

02:26:44.000 How did Stan Hope describe Asian pussy hair? 0.99

02:26:46.000 Something like rat whiskers? 0.99

02:26:47.000 What did he describe? 0.98

02:26:51.000 I forget how you described it, I'm fucking it up.

02:26:55.000 You don't think there's anything that could kill that whole thing? 0.97

02:26:58.000 I mean, Cosby, you would never have thought something could take down Cosby.

02:27:02.000 You think double Cosby could take down Kardashian?

02:27:05.000 What does that mean, double Cosby?

02:27:07.000 What are you saying?

02:27:08.000 Something that is so bad that could kill the brand.

02:27:11.000 What's the worst?

02:27:11.000 It's hard.

02:27:12.000 You'd have to be like, double what he did is almost like murder.

02:27:15.000 Yeah.

02:27:16.000 You know? 0.97

02:27:16.000 I mean, you have to murder someone. 0.97

02:27:18.000 That's coming, right? 0.97

02:27:18.000 No, not necessarily. 0.97

02:27:20.000 Why?

02:27:21.000 They haven't done anything wrong.

02:27:22.000 You think of what they've done. 0.99

02:27:24.000 You could hate the show for sucking. 0.99

02:27:26.000 You could say it's boring and mindless, but so what? 1.00

02:27:29.000 So is most shit that's on TV. I've never watched it, actually. 0.99

02:27:32.000 I think they set up Lamar Odom. 1.00

02:27:35.000 They sent the bad batch of pussy to Lamar Odom. 1.00

02:27:39.000 He went in there. 1.00

02:27:40.000 I think he couldn't handle the pressure.

02:27:43.000 Lamar?

02:27:43.000 Yeah.

02:27:44.000 Did you ever see him freak out?

02:27:46.000 He went after a photographer once?

02:27:48.000 His mother-in-law cut his deal.

02:27:50.000 And she got Laker tickets, season tickets for the rest of her life.

02:27:55.000 Jesus Christ.

02:27:56.000 That's the deal she cut, though.

02:27:58.000 That's amazing.

02:27:59.000 Yeah, it's like...

02:28:01.000 It ain't a good show.

02:28:02.000 It's not something I want to spend my time watching, but why so mad?

02:28:06.000 I've watched it ten times on the road.

02:28:08.000 It's on E! And you watch it, and it's not entertaining, and she doesn't amuse me.

02:28:12.000 But here's my question.

02:28:13.000 Why is it more offensive when something's not entertaining and it's quote-unquote reality, like semi-scripted? 0.97

02:28:21.000 Why does that bother us, whereas a show where you're making shit up entirely, it's totally scripted and it sucks, doesn't bother you? 1.00

02:28:29.000 Like, there's a lot of shows that suck. 1.00

02:28:31.000 There's a lot of, like, hour dramas that are fucking terrible. 1.00

02:28:33.000 You try to watch and be like, oh my god, what is this shit? 1.00

02:28:36.000 But it doesn't offend you. 1.00

02:28:38.000 It doesn't get you angry.

02:28:39.000 Like, people see that show, like, all the reality air quotes about it, all the nonsense, and you're like, why is there anybody watching this?

02:28:47.000 This is crazy.

02:28:48.000 And so they get mad.

02:28:49.000 They get mad at that show, but they don't get mad at scripted shows.

02:28:53.000 It's very strange.

02:28:54.000 Just because those people are being themselves?

02:28:56.000 Yeah, but so what?

02:28:57.000 And so they're real people.

02:28:58.000 I know, sort of, but they're not.

02:29:00.000 You know, it's all caricatures. 0.99

02:29:03.000 Real people doing fake shit. 0.99

02:29:05.000 Yeah, but it's like... 0.99

02:29:06.000 Who cares?

02:29:07.000 Why do we care?

02:29:09.000 But we do.

02:29:09.000 We get upset.

02:29:10.000 Because they're not doing anything special.

02:29:12.000 You go see Cirque du Soleil, and they're doing handstands with one hand, and they've got someone standing on their feet doing a handstand on this guy, and there's like three people, and they're stacked, and they all look shredded like superheroes. 0.99

02:29:24.000 Like, holy shit! 0.99

02:29:26.000 You watch them flip through the air and catch each other and do all that crazy shit. 1.00

02:29:29.000 It's undeniable that they put a crazy amount of work into achieving this. 0.93

02:29:34.000 When you watch these people just be themselves and make more money than anybody who's ever lived.

02:29:39.000 Yeah, people don't seem to care anymore.

02:29:43.000 Like, I mean, look at the, you have all the YouTube stars.

02:29:45.000 They're like just mindless people talking that half of the time they don't have any talent.

02:29:49.000 They're just like pretty much rehashing people's jokes or ideas and thoughts and making tons of money.

02:29:56.000 And YouTube's, you know, branding them as their YouTube stars.

02:30:00.000 But that's really popular, and that's kind of like a Kardashian. 1.00

02:30:04.000 It's fake shit. 1.00

02:30:06.000 People doing fake shit. 1.00

02:30:07.000 Now, how long has that show been on TV? It's been on forever. 1.00

02:30:11.000 It's been on forever.

02:30:13.000 They're going to go back in the history, and they're going to find out that it was never not on the air.

02:30:16.000 It was actually like they used to do it by fire. 0.96

02:30:19.000 They did shadow shows back in the fucking 1600s. 0.93

02:30:22.000 What did she make a year? 1.00

02:30:23.000 Who knows?

02:30:24.000 Hundreds of millions of dollars, probably.

02:30:25.000 Jamie, what did she make a year? 0.94

02:30:27.000 Jamie knows for sure.

02:30:28.000 But my point is that, like, I think it's a demonic show, and it's probably been here since the beginning of time, and we just pretend.

02:30:34.000 We get sucked into a trance.

02:30:36.000 Like, it just started, like, a few years ago, right?

02:30:38.000 We don't remember.

02:30:39.000 It's one of those, like, Twilight Zone episodes.

02:30:41.000 We'll realize one day, it's always been here, boy.

02:30:44.000 That show's always been here.

02:30:47.000 You start remembering yourself as a child, waking up, looking out of your crib, and keeping up with the Kardashians is on TV, and it doesn't even make any sense, because it's from a totally different era, but you remember it throughout your whole life, when no one was around, keeping up with the Kardashians was on some fucking strange phantom channel out there.

02:31:02.000 You just had to figure out how to tune it in.

02:31:04.000 It's always been there.

02:31:08.000 It seems like that, doesn't it?

02:31:10.000 No. 1.00

02:31:11.000 No, I'm high as fuck. 1.00

02:31:12.000 I can't believe that even the guy with the fucking... 1.00

02:31:15.000 Bam! 1.00

02:31:15.000 52 million. 1.00

02:31:18.000 Jesus Christ, that's a lot of money.

02:31:21.000 She looks odd. 0.91

02:31:23.000 Oh yeah, dog.

02:31:25.000 She's done.

02:31:26.000 That is...

02:31:28.000 She's plastic surgeon herself all the way. 1.00

02:31:29.000 Something's going on.

02:31:31.000 You look different.

02:31:32.000 She still looks beautiful.

02:31:34.000 She's still beautiful.

02:31:35.000 A gorgeous woman. 0.98

02:31:36.000 No doubt about it, right? 0.99

02:31:38.000 She's goddamn beautiful. 0.99

02:31:39.000 Look at her face. 0.99

02:31:40.000 Beautiful, classic face structure.

02:31:42.000 Beautiful lips.

02:31:43.000 Beautiful eyes.

02:31:44.000 But she looks odd.

02:31:45.000 Can we see some butt pics, though?

02:31:47.000 Let's just stop. 0.67

02:31:49.000 We don't need to stare at this poor girl. 0.99

02:31:51.000 You know, I was telling you...

02:31:52.000 But why is it so offensive?

02:31:53.000 It is, though.

02:31:54.000 What's offensive?

02:31:54.000 It is to a lot of people.

02:31:55.000 But she doesn't do anything wrong.

02:31:56.000 No. 1.00

02:31:56.000 She's nuts. 1.00

02:31:57.000 She's like... 1.00

02:31:58.000 I say a hundred times more stupid shit than she does. 1.00

02:32:00.000 She seems like a nice person. 1.00

02:32:03.000 Kanye's awesome.

02:32:04.000 I like Kanye. 1.00

02:32:04.000 He says some stupid shit, but who... 1.00

02:32:06.000 What fucking super talented young uber celebrity doesn't say stupid shit? 1.00

02:32:10.000 I mean, that guy's driven like... 1.00

02:32:13.000 He's like...

02:32:14.000 There's certain, like, types of driven.

02:32:16.000 That's like superstar type driven.

02:32:19.000 That's what that guy is.

02:32:20.000 He's got that superstar-type drive.

02:32:22.000 Those guys, they always have problems with people.

02:32:24.000 They're always mad at someone.

02:32:25.000 They're always mad at the press, mad at this guy or that guy.

02:32:28.000 They're just these bundles of fury and inspiration and ideas, and they just don't always manage it correctly. 1.00

02:32:34.000 That's why he came out with that song about assholes and douchebags. 0.99

02:32:38.000 Remember that song that he came out with after he did the Taylor Swift thing? 1.00

02:32:41.000 Let's hear it for the assholes. 1.00

02:32:43.000 Jamie knows it. 1.00

02:32:43.000 It's his phone ring. 1.00

02:32:44.000 If you call him right now, we'll hear it.

02:32:47.000 Do you know, if I tell you guys something?

02:32:50.000 I don't know one Kanye song.

02:32:53.000 Oh yeah, you do.

02:32:54.000 Gold Digger?

02:32:54.000 You know that Gold Digger song?

02:32:55.000 Yeah, that one I know.

02:32:56.000 That's a badass chap.

02:32:57.000 Jamie Kennedy?

02:32:58.000 What's his name?

02:32:59.000 No.

02:32:59.000 Jamie Foxx.

02:33:01.000 Jamie Foxx. 1.00

02:33:02.000 That's a great fucking song. 1.00

02:33:03.000 I know that one, but nothing else. 1.00

02:33:05.000 Like Black Jesus. 1.00

02:33:06.000 Oh, let me tell you this before I forget.

02:33:08.000 Jamie Foxx.

02:33:09.000 You have to listen to Jamie Foxx on the Tim Ferriss podcast. 0.95

02:33:12.000 Holy shit, Tim Ferriss got together with Jamie Foxx and did some epic, crazy long podcasts where Jamie Foxx breaks down his showbiz experiences. 0.99

02:33:21.000 It's fucking amazing. 1.00

02:33:23.000 Jamie Foxx is one of the baddest motherfuckers of all time. 0.99

02:33:27.000 When you hear just how he organizes parties, he would get to parties, he goes, you know what, how we do it, we just do it, we just, everybody's cool. 0.99

02:33:34.000 That's all I want. 0.99

02:33:35.000 No assholes. 1.00

02:33:36.000 No one's a dick. 1.00

02:33:37.000 I call people up. 0.98

02:33:38.000 No haters.

02:33:38.000 Everybody's cool.

02:33:39.000 You're cool.

02:33:40.000 He's cool.

02:33:40.000 Everybody's cool.

02:33:41.000 We get some bomb-ass bitches. 1.00

02:33:42.000 We get some girls that are hot, but they're not stuck up. 1.00

02:33:45.000 They're friendly and not too slutty. 0.84

02:33:47.000 Just right there. 0.87

02:33:48.000 The perfect mix.

02:33:49.000 And you get this perfect mix.

02:33:50.000 And he's talking about all these artists that he has come over.

02:33:53.000 And he had Kanye West come over.

02:33:54.000 And he asked Kanye West to freestyle.

02:33:57.000 And Kanye West freestyled in front of everybody.

02:33:59.000 And all these other guys.

02:34:00.000 Like, man, I've been hearing about you.

02:34:01.000 He's talking about all these different, like...

02:34:03.000 At the time, up-and-coming people like Drake, who became these big, huge superstars. 0.98

02:34:08.000 It's a fucking amazing podcast. 0.66

02:34:11.000 I've always thought Jamie Foxx is insanely talented. 1.00

02:34:14.000 If you see the way he sings, if you see the way he acts, like that Ray Charles movie, God damn. 0.99

02:34:21.000 He stole it. 1.00

02:34:21.000 Goddamn, he's good. 1.00

02:34:23.000 He's amazing, right? 0.97

02:34:25.000 And on top of that, he's a stand-up comic.

02:34:28.000 But when you hear him talk, you realize, oh, dude, this guy is a master at life.

02:34:34.000 He's figured out how to live life.

02:34:36.000 Did you watch his Inside the Actor's Studio?

02:34:38.000 No.

02:34:39.000 No, I want to hear it though.

02:34:41.000 About his grandmother.

02:34:42.000 His grandmother raised him.

02:34:43.000 Yeah.

02:34:43.000 So his grandmother used to make him play the piano every day.

02:34:45.000 Wow.

02:34:46.000 And his grandmother just, he took every big movie experience that he had and related it to his grandmother. 0.99

02:34:54.000 The football movie, his grandmother fucking raised him right. 0.96

02:34:58.000 But the piano one was the story, but the music and how he got Ray Charles. 0.98

02:35:03.000 Yeah.

02:35:03.000 Because his grandmother used to make him play the piano.

02:35:05.000 Just, you know, and then this thing at the store, he changed his name to Jamie Foxx.

02:35:09.000 So they thought he was a girl.

02:35:11.000 Yeah, when he signed up at the Laugh Factory, changed his name to Jamie Foxx, because the girls got on stage more than guys did, because there wasn't that many of them.

02:35:19.000 That's hilarious.

02:35:20.000 You know, so, yeah, smart.

02:35:22.000 You see these guys, and they come and go, and I read them. 1.00

02:35:25.000 I can't stand when I see these people that are shams, and all of a sudden, they're part of this social thing, and they're fucking terrible. 1.00

02:35:33.000 But then you get some guy like him that put the work in. 0.97

02:35:35.000 I heard that when he was on Unliving Color, he still couldn't get an agent. 0.95

02:35:39.000 When he was doing that fucking shake and whatever, he couldn't get an agent. 0.99

02:35:42.000 Like, nobody would represent him, shit like that. 1.00

02:35:44.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:35:45.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:35:46.000 That's fucking crazy to me. 0.99

02:35:47.000 But, you know what, man? 0.99

02:35:48.000 Cream always rises to the top.

02:35:49.000 He would play a drag queen, right? 1.00

02:35:51.000 Yeah, he would play that, whatever it matters.

02:35:53.000 Was it a drag queen or is it a woman who was playing? 1.00

02:35:55.000 Shanay-Nay? 0.64

02:35:56.000 Shanay-Nay, something like that.

02:35:57.000 Was it a drag queen or a woman? 1.00

02:35:59.000 What's that?

02:36:00.000 My name is Martin Lawrence, but...

02:36:01.000 Oh, okay, you're right.

02:36:02.000 You're right.

02:36:02.000 LaFonda, I think.

02:36:03.000 LaFonda.

02:36:05.000 That's right.

02:36:05.000 Was it supposed to be a woman?

02:36:07.000 I don't know.

02:36:08.000 I think so.

02:36:08.000 Just implied.

02:36:10.000 Bro, he was great.

02:36:11.000 Open to interpretation.

02:36:12.000 Bro, he's great in that movie with Tom Cruise.

02:36:14.000 He's great in everything.

02:36:15.000 That movie with Tom Cruise to me.

02:36:16.000 Isn't he doing a Mike Tyson movie right now?

02:36:18.000 I don't know.

02:36:18.000 Is he?

02:36:19.000 Have you ever dressed up as a woman, Joe? 0.97

02:36:21.000 Oh, yeah.

02:36:22.000 Really?

02:36:23.000 For sure.

02:36:23.000 Yeah, I did it in a public access show on TV in 1988. We were like open micers.

02:36:30.000 Me and this dude, Todd Parker, and a couple other guys.

02:36:35.000 It's like Larry, Larry Raspucci.

02:36:38.000 When we first started out doing stand-up, we were all open micers together.

02:36:41.000 And there he is.

02:36:43.000 Wanda.

02:36:44.000 Wanda the massage therapist.

02:36:46.000 The lips, it's hilarious. 1.00

02:36:48.000 Jamie Foxx is a bad motherfucker, dude. 0.99

02:36:50.000 Anyway, we did this, um, we found out that you could get, like, time on cable access shows. 0.99

02:36:55.000 They just, like, let you use cable access and you could make your own television show.

02:37:00.000 So we put together these horrible sketches.

02:37:03.000 And in one of them, I played a woman.

02:37:05.000 I had a dress on and a wig. 0.98

02:37:07.000 I forget what the fucking sketch was, but I had to come in and sweep the guy off his feet and run away with him. 1.00

02:37:12.000 It was so stupid. 1.00

02:37:13.000 Like, I don't remember what it was, but I wore a dress then. 1.00

02:37:17.000 I fucking hate it. 0.98

02:37:18.000 I have a picture of you, Joey, dressed up as a woman. 1.00

02:37:20.000 I fucking always hate it. 0.99

02:37:21.000 My girls have dressed me up like a girl before. 0.98

02:37:23.000 I've never done it.

02:37:24.000 I'm scared.

02:37:25.000 Don't be scared. 0.80

02:37:27.000 You might make a hot chick. 1.00

02:37:28.000 You might look at yourself in the mirror and go, maybe I should just fucking run with this. 0.99

02:37:32.000 Like Eddie Izzard. 0.95

02:37:34.000 You don't even have to address it.

02:37:35.000 Like Eddie Izzard, he'd go on stage dressed up like a woman and not say a word. 1.00

02:37:39.000 Yeah, I might be too hot.

02:37:41.000 No, I can't.

02:37:42.000 I can't dress up like a woman that bothers my core. 1.00

02:37:45.000 I'm too Spanish. 1.00

02:37:46.000 Yeah, it drives me fucking nuts. 1.00

02:37:48.000 I never got the joke. 0.99

02:37:49.000 Machismo.

02:37:49.000 I never got the joke.

02:37:51.000 Like, after I see you with the dress on, okay, now I gotta stand like this, like a fucking asshole. 1.00

02:37:55.000 That's right. 1.00

02:37:56.000 It's like if you go to a football game with a jersey on, and your team loses. 1.00

02:38:00.000 You gotta get back on the train with that stupid fucking shirt on. 1.00

02:38:03.000 That's a long train ride home, you dumb fuck. 1.00

02:38:06.000 I've always been one of those guys. 1.00

02:38:08.000 I ain't wearing no jersey, you jack-off.

02:38:10.000 Your team loses. 1.00

02:38:11.000 There you are on the train like a fucking Momo there. 1.00

02:38:14.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

02:38:15.000 I can't commit. 1.00

02:38:17.000 I ain't got that type of fucking commitment. 1.00

02:38:19.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:38:20.000 I can't do it. 1.00

02:38:21.000 That's why the dress thing, like I've been to shows and we wanted you to dress up like a dog.

02:38:26.000 It's not going to work.

02:38:27.000 Who was it?

02:38:27.000 Was it Dave Chappelle that was saying that there's a certain thing that happens to black people?

02:38:33.000 Like black comedians, black actors, they get to a certain level of popularity and then they start putting them in movies where they make them wear dresses. 0.71

02:38:43.000 And it's so true.

02:38:44.000 Once he said it, I started looking into it.

02:38:46.000 There's two Wong Fu, Julie Newmar, right, where Wesley Snipes, shredded, is a chick. 1.00

02:38:52.000 He's fucking yoked and shredded. 0.98

02:38:54.000 He's a chick, right? 1.00

02:38:55.000 There's a gang of those movies.

02:38:58.000 The Martin Lawrence movies, Eddie Murphy played his mom, right?

02:39:01.000 What did he play, his grandma?

02:39:02.000 Yeah, he played all of them.

02:39:03.000 He's played all of them, right?

02:39:04.000 He's played women.

02:39:05.000 He's done women before. 0.81

02:39:07.000 And it just goes back through, like, television history.

02:39:10.000 They would take, like, famous black comedians and they would make them play women. 0.99

02:39:14.000 They would play women in movies. 0.99

02:39:16.000 There's Wesley Snipes.

02:39:18.000 And what's his face?

02:39:20.000 The dude on the left?

02:39:21.000 And Patrick Swayze.

02:39:22.000 John Leguizamo and Patrick Swayze.

02:39:24.000 Powerful Patrick Swayze.

02:39:25.000 I caught a movie I forgot all about the other day.

02:39:28.000 By mistake, I caught it. 0.99

02:39:30.000 How fucking good is that movie? 0.98

02:39:32.000 A movie called Revenge. 1.00

02:39:34.000 With Anthony Quinn and the fucking bodyguard. 1.00

02:39:37.000 What's his name? 1.00

02:39:38.000 Kevin Costner.

02:39:39.000 Oh, I remember that movie.

02:39:40.000 And that beautiful woman. 0.95

02:39:41.000 Who's that woman? 1.00

02:39:41.000 The crazy one. 1.00

02:39:42.000 The crazy one that he cheated on. 0.85

02:39:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:39:44.000 And then fucking Martin Quinn put a fucking beating on him. 1.00

02:39:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:39:48.000 Go to revenge. 1.00

02:39:49.000 The beating that Anthony Quinn puts on. 1.00

02:39:52.000 What's his fucking name? 1.00

02:39:53.000 That's a good movie. 1.00

02:39:55.000 That Anthony Quinn gets out of the hospital.

02:39:57.000 What's his name?

02:39:58.000 Gets out of the hospital.

02:39:59.000 He teams up with Leguizamo. 0.99

02:40:01.000 And he makes her a hooker. 1.00

02:40:03.000 Remember, he cuts her face. 1.00

02:40:05.000 He goes, you want to get fucked? 1.00

02:40:06.000 I'm going to send you to a place where you get fucked every day. 1.00

02:40:08.000 And he fucking slices her face, and they throw her to the hooker house, and they just come in, drug her, and fuck her all day long. 1.00

02:40:15.000 And then fucking what's-his-name has to come and save her. 1.00

02:40:18.000 I forgot all about that fucking movie. 1.00

02:40:21.000 I remember that. 0.99

02:40:21.000 Look at Anthony Quinn, how badass he was at 70. He was still spitting out kids in Mexico at 70. What's her name? 0.99

02:40:30.000 I forget the girl.

02:40:34.000 But now the dude's beating up Kevin Costner.

02:40:39.000 Stowe!

02:40:40.000 Madeline Stowe!

02:40:40.000 Oh, yeah.

02:40:41.000 It was Madeline Stowe. 0.97

02:40:43.000 They beat the shit out of Kevin Costner. 0.99

02:40:46.000 Ugh. 0.99

02:40:49.000 It's a dark movie. 1.00

02:40:50.000 This is a really fucked up movie. 1.00

02:40:52.000 And Anthony Quinn, dog, you know, his shit, that motherfucker was a real actor. 1.00

02:40:56.000 That dude was a Mexican that played everything. 1.00

02:40:58.000 A cowboy, a gangster.

02:41:06.000 Yeah.

02:41:06.000 It's a good movie, though.

02:41:08.000 Anthony Quinn did a lot of good movies.

02:41:10.000 Anthony Quinn did 110 across 110th Street.

02:41:12.000 He did something about pool.

02:41:15.000 Didn't he play a pool in somebody?

02:41:17.000 He played somebody.

02:41:18.000 Oh, no, no, no, no.

02:41:19.000 Who was the old guy in The Hustler?

02:41:22.000 Jackie Gleason?

02:41:23.000 No, the other guy, the guy that was running the game.

02:41:25.000 Oh, yeah, [... 0.99

02:41:27.000 Goddamn it. 1.00

02:41:28.000 Badass motherfucker. 1.00

02:41:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:41:29.000 George C. Scott. 1.00

02:41:30.000 George C. Scott.

02:41:31.000 Yeah.

02:41:31.000 George C. Scott was Burt.

02:41:33.000 George C. Scott, this fucking guy, these guys were savages. 1.00

02:41:37.000 You know what I watched? 1.00

02:41:38.000 I watched a movie with George C. Scott where his daughter's a runaway and she becomes a stripper and he has to find her.

02:41:44.000 Remember that movie?

02:41:44.000 She was a porn star, right?

02:41:46.000 She was a porn star and I've been watching some fucked up shit lately on the road. 1.00

02:41:49.000 On the road, you bump into some good fucking movies. 1.00

02:41:52.000 Hardcore. 0.99

02:41:52.000 Remember? 0.99

02:41:53.000 That's what it was called.

02:41:54.000 The George C. Scott movie?

02:41:55.000 Hardcore?

02:41:55.000 Hot Spell?

02:41:57.000 What is that?

02:41:58.000 Anthony Quinn playing pool.

02:42:00.000 Oh, really?

02:42:01.000 Huh.

02:42:02.000 Never heard of it.

02:42:03.000 He was a pool hustler?

02:42:05.000 It comes up on Wikipedia.

02:42:07.000 Oh, okay.

02:42:08.000 Oh, just maybe a scene where he plays pool?

02:42:10.000 Huh.

02:42:11.000 Pool was just a giant pastime back then.

02:42:14.000 You know, at the turn of the century, there's a thousand pool halls in New York City.

02:42:19.000 In the 19th century, like, between, like, 1900?

02:42:22.000 From the 18th century?

02:42:23.000 What the heck, yeah. 1.00

02:42:25.000 A thousand fucking pool halls in New York City. 1.00

02:42:28.000 From the 19th to the 20th. 0.99

02:42:29.000 When it turned to the 1900s, the beginning of the century, apparently there was a thousand pool halls.

02:42:35.000 It was so common.

02:42:36.000 Like, everybody played pool.

02:42:37.000 There was no TV, right?

02:42:39.000 There's no, I mean, live music?

02:42:41.000 You can go see live music.

02:42:42.000 There's no records.

02:42:43.000 Did they even have records?

02:42:44.000 I mean, I guess they had phonographs.

02:42:46.000 Maybe a few people had them.

02:42:47.000 But bachelors, especially, like young men, would go and they would hang out at these pool halls.

02:42:52.000 It was like, that was the lifestyle choice for the men who didn't go for the married with kids thing.

02:42:58.000 We didn't go for the marriage.

02:42:59.000 There's, like, these people that felt like they were on the outside.

02:43:01.000 And they would all get together in these pool halls, and they would just do what men wanted to really do.

02:43:05.000 They wanted to hang out late and drink and gamble and do drugs and play cards.

02:43:09.000 And that's what these places always were for these guys.

02:43:11.000 It's like a refuge from the regular life.

02:43:14.000 Like, you can exist.

02:43:15.000 It might not be as profitable, but at least it'll be fun.

02:43:19.000 So they all just got together.

02:43:21.000 And it was like the bachelor lifestyle of the early 20th century.

02:43:26.000 Before I forget, I gotta ask you something.

02:43:27.000 Are you covering next week's fight or no?

02:43:29.000 Which one's next?

02:43:30.000 No.

02:43:30.000 Vegas.

02:43:31.000 Yeah.

02:43:31.000 Yeah, the one the second?

02:43:32.000 Robbie Lawler?

02:43:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:43:33.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:43:34.000 Oh, I didn't think, because I asked you if you were doing a show and you were like, no. 1.00

02:43:37.000 No, I'm not doing a show.

02:43:37.000 Okay.

02:43:38.000 Not doing a comedy show.

02:43:39.000 I can't do the Cot Theater that much.

02:43:41.000 It's a giant place.

02:43:43.000 I just, we just sold it out like two weeks ago.

02:43:46.000 I gotta take time off.

02:43:48.000 That's why I asked you.

02:43:49.000 I didn't even know.

02:43:49.000 You never even mentioned that.

02:43:50.000 They want to do it all the time, but I don't think...

02:43:52.000 A lot of the people are transient, but a lot of these people are the same people that keep coming over and over again.

02:43:56.000 Vegas is such a hot spot now for stand-up.

02:44:00.000 For fights, rather.

02:44:01.000 People coming from everywhere.

02:44:03.000 So I feel like I gotta come up with at least some new material.

02:44:06.000 No, I didn't know for sure if you were even going.

02:44:08.000 Because when I asked you, you didn't sound too enthusiastic about us.

02:44:10.000 I'm like, maybe he's not even going to the fight.

02:44:12.000 And I'm not hearing much about it online.

02:44:15.000 If you didn't talk to me about the fight, if you didn't think I was enthusiastic about the fight.

02:44:19.000 Who else is on the card?

02:44:19.000 I'll tell you right now.

02:44:20.000 It's a good card.

02:44:21.000 But the big fight, of course, is Carlos Condit versus Robbie Lawler.

02:44:25.000 And one of the things that makes that fight so interesting is that Robbie Lawler is not known to take people down.

02:44:30.000 It's like he's taken out so few people in his life.

02:44:33.000 I can't think of a single submission that he's attempted.

02:44:37.000 I mean, I'm sure he has attempted a submission.

02:44:39.000 I just can't recall one.

02:44:40.000 Because all Robbie Lawler's fights is Robbie Lawler trying to knock you into another dimension.

02:44:45.000 That's how the fights go.

02:44:46.000 The fights go ding.

02:44:47.000 Here he comes.

02:44:48.000 Good luck.

02:44:49.000 You know, but the difference between Robbie and all the guys that Carlos has had problems with in the past is that those guys kept taking Carlos down.

02:44:57.000 Now, I don't know if Robbie will incorporate that kind of strategy just because he knows it's been effective in the past.

02:45:02.000 GSP had good effect with it.

02:45:04.000 Johnny Hendricks had a good result with it.

02:45:07.000 And the guys who managed to take Carlos down and smother him, those are guys who have some pretty good success.

02:45:13.000 Robbie Lawler has good success just smashing. 0.98

02:45:16.000 He's just a fucking awesome striking machine. 0.98

02:45:19.000 And such a tough guy. 0.99

02:45:20.000 His mentality, like the bulldog in him, is 100%.

02:45:24.000 That guy has zero quit.

02:45:26.000 But neither does Condit.

02:45:27.000 Condit's got a little bit more sneaky ways to win.

02:45:30.000 Like, he's really good at submissions.

02:45:31.000 Very good off of his back.

02:45:33.000 Very good at capitalizing on moments.

02:45:35.000 And he also, he can kickbox too.

02:45:37.000 And he's real slick. 1.00

02:45:38.000 He throws all kinds of crazy shit. 1.00

02:45:40.000 Step in elbows. 1.00

02:45:41.000 He does a lot of shit that you don't predict. 1.00

02:45:43.000 Fucking flying knees last time. 1.00

02:45:45.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:45:46.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:45:47.000 I mean, I love Ruth. 1.00

02:45:48.000 I'm not saying that Carlos Condon's gonna win, but I tell you what I like the most about Carlos Condon and his corner.

02:45:53.000 I don't really know who Robbie's trainers are down on ATT, but they have an excellent game plan.

02:46:00.000 When you fight for Winkle John, whatever, you go in there with such a great, and I didn't see it till the Holly Holm fight.

02:46:07.000 That's when I learned what game plan is to the Holly Holm fight. 1.00

02:46:10.000 Then I put together John Jones fights, and I basically thought the most about him against Diaz, how he fought Diaz.

02:46:18.000 They always have a great game plan, Winkle John Smith, and it's how good you stick to it. 0.99

02:46:23.000 And against Diaz, this motherfucker stuck to it. 0.99

02:46:25.000 That's why he snuck out that victory. 0.99

02:46:27.000 You know, if he sticks to the game plan, whatever, they always have a great game plan, and they review it and review it and review it and review it and review it.

02:46:35.000 That's why Holly Holm did what she did. 0.64

02:46:37.000 Even when Ronda went for shit on her that she would usually get, they knew her instincts, they knew what, uh, I forget what that word is, they knew what she was gonna do, and they worked it and drilled it and drilled it. 0.95

02:46:48.000 She kept her hips low, all those little things, I really don't know. 0.97

02:46:51.000 I just saw, uh, the guy from George St. Pierre's camp break down the video.

02:46:56.000 And I thought about it.

02:46:58.000 And I go, you know why she did that?

02:47:00.000 Because they went over it.

02:47:02.000 And they had a game plan.

02:47:03.000 And they knew what her tendency was going to be.

02:47:05.000 And they worked on the anti-tendency.

02:47:07.000 And I thought back to his fight. 0.98

02:47:09.000 And I thought back to, like, maybe three of fucking John Jones fights. 0.96

02:47:16.000 And I said, that's what I like about that camp. 0.97

02:47:19.000 I've always liked that.

02:47:20.000 That they really...

02:47:21.000 And that's why I'm not saying I like him, but I'm saying in this particular fight, I'm just saying that.

02:47:26.000 It's a very competitive fight.

02:47:27.000 It's a great fight.

02:47:27.000 No, no, no, no.

02:47:28.000 It's a very competitive fight.

02:47:29.000 I would think the real questions are, is Robbie going to follow that game plan, or is he going to try to take Carlos down? 0.89

02:47:34.000 If he decides to try to take Carlos down just to fuck with him, just to mix it up, it could be very interesting. 0.98

02:47:40.000 If they both just stand up, it's going to be chaos. 0.99

02:47:43.000 It'll be a crazy war.

02:47:44.000 Ooh, our loss. 1.00

02:47:45.000 Give me old shit. 1.00

02:47:45.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

02:47:47.000 Both guys have crazy power, but I wonder who's going to try to do something sneaky. 1.00

02:47:51.000 Because Robbie's not a sneaky fighter.

02:47:53.000 He's super skillful, very tough, just aggressive, but you know what's coming.

02:47:58.000 Whereas guys will mix things up and do things different.

02:48:02.000 George St. Pierre is a perfect example.

02:48:04.000 He always had, like, a game plan.

02:48:06.000 He was always real sneaky at mixing things up.

02:48:08.000 It was one of the most effective aspects of his game.

02:48:10.000 He didn't know if he was going to take you down or stand with you.

02:48:12.000 So you're always tense and always worried about what's coming.

02:48:14.000 And then he would shoot and you'd be on your back and you'd be eating elbow sandwiches.

02:48:18.000 So Robbie's not like that. 0.90

02:48:20.000 Robbie's like a straightforward, come towards you, smart, smart with his movement and his angles, very hard to take down, but determined to stand and smash you.

02:48:28.000 So Carlos won't have to worry. 0.99

02:48:30.000 And he fucking hits hard, dawg. 1.00

02:48:31.000 Fucking it's real hard. 1.00

02:48:32.000 He fucking hits like a truck, dog. 1.00

02:48:33.000 So that's the other thing. 1.00

02:48:34.000 Yeah, that's a big part.

02:48:35.000 Well, he's got so much confidence in his power. 0.99

02:48:37.000 You know, if you watch that fight with Melvin Manhoof, he's getting his ass kicked, okay? 1.00

02:48:40.000 Melvin Manhoof is kicking the shit out of his legs. 1.00

02:48:43.000 And Robbie Lawler uncorks with a fucking bomb. 1.00

02:48:47.000 One punch, one haymaker on the jaw. 1.00

02:48:50.000 And Melvin's whole body just stiffens up like he got tasered.

02:48:53.000 Just...

02:48:54.000 He falls to the ground and Robbie smashes him again when he's down, and it's just one of the most brutal one-shot knockout power, not power punches, in all of MMA. And he's always trying to do that.

02:49:06.000 Every punch he's trying to do that.

02:49:07.000 He's just trying to knock you in another dimension.

02:49:09.000 And he knows he can do it.

02:49:10.000 He's just got to hit you just right.

02:49:12.000 And Condit can do it, too, man. 0.98

02:49:14.000 Condit knocks dudes dead.

02:49:15.000 You watch that Dan Hardy fight?

02:49:18.000 He caught Dan with that nasty left hook. 0.99

02:49:20.000 Or the stun gun fight, that flying knee to the face.

02:49:23.000 Or the Tiago Alves fight, he smashed him with that step-in elbow.

02:49:26.000 He's real tricky.

02:49:27.000 He's got a bunch of different ways to win.

02:49:29.000 He's tall, he's long, and he's real good off of his back.

02:49:32.000 Real sneaky off of his back.

02:49:34.000 Real good at attacking when he goes to the ground.

02:49:36.000 He's caught guys in arm bars and triangles.

02:49:39.000 He's no joke, man.

02:49:40.000 He's no joke.

02:49:41.000 It's an interesting fight.

02:49:43.000 It's real interesting if Robby decides to just only stand with him, because if Carlo doesn't have to worry about the takedown as much, you get to see a lot more looseness to his striking game.

02:49:52.000 It's going to be a nutty fight, man.

02:49:54.000 I want to ask you something, Melzi.

02:49:55.000 Are you going to go see this movie, Concussion? 1.00

02:49:57.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:49:58.000 You really want to see it? 1.00

02:49:59.000 I think I'm going to see it, too. 1.00

02:50:00.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:50:00.000 I want to see it. 1.00

02:50:01.000 You know where the big fight on that card is?

02:50:03.000 Here's a fight that no one's talking about.

02:50:04.000 Lorenz Larkin versus Albert Tumanov. 0.97

02:50:07.000 Dude, are you fucking kidding me? 1.00

02:50:10.000 These guys are killers. 0.99

02:50:12.000 This is probably, like, one of the most underrated fights in the 170-pound division right now.

02:50:18.000 This is a fight that everybody should be talking about.

02:50:20.000 And if these guys had had, like, more, like, on-air fights, like, especially Larkin at 170, and Tumanoff just fought Arbor Alan Joban and just starched him.

02:50:31.000 He is nasty. 0.99

02:50:33.000 His fucking striking is so fluid and loose. 1.00

02:50:37.000 His boxing, his hands, and Larkin is a beast too. 1.00

02:50:41.000 That's a sick fight. 0.79

02:50:42.000 It's a really good fight.

02:50:44.000 That's a fight that people should be talking about, like a lot of people should be talking about this right now.

02:50:49.000 And for whatever reason, it's just flown totally under the radar.

02:50:52.000 Like, I almost forgot it was even on the card.

02:50:54.000 I gotta be honest with you, this card is flown under the radar.

02:50:56.000 It's a good card.

02:50:57.000 It's a great card, but nobody's really...

02:50:59.000 I think the holidays, they're confused.

02:51:01.000 I don't know what it is.

02:51:03.000 Nobody's really saying, well, this is the fight for me.

02:51:06.000 Here's another good fight.

02:51:07.000 Brandao and Ortega.

02:51:09.000 Ortega is a Gracie Jiu-Jitsu black belt, and he's coming off a suspension for the PED. For what?

02:51:19.000 He had a little bit of the steroids in the system.

02:51:24.000 Gave him a little suspension.

02:51:31.000 Michael McDonald.

02:51:32.000 Oh, Michael McDonald returns.

02:51:34.000 That's exciting.

02:51:35.000 He's been off for a long time.

02:51:37.000 That kid's been off for more than a year, I believe. 0.99

02:51:39.000 He's fucking good. 0.99

02:51:40.000 That kid's good. 0.99

02:51:42.000 He's got nasty power in his hands, too, and he looks like a small, slightly built guy, but my God, he hits hard.

02:51:49.000 But that Diego Brandao and Brian Ortega fight, that's a good fight.

02:51:54.000 That should be a real good fight.

02:51:55.000 I don't know why Ortega was doing anything.

02:51:58.000 I mean, he might have had injuries trying to recover from.

02:52:00.000 So a lot of these guys, they get caught with steroids.

02:52:02.000 And what it is is...

02:52:04.000 Well, a lot of these guys are just doing steroids.

02:52:07.000 But some of these guys, they get injured, and they're trying to get back in there, so they take a chance.

02:52:11.000 They just, I hope I don't get tested.

02:52:12.000 I'm going to try this for six weeks.

02:52:14.000 It'll be out of my system in six weeks, but it'll ramp up my recovery by 30% or more.

02:52:19.000 And so they take the chance.

02:52:20.000 I'm not giving him any excuses.

02:52:22.000 I don't know if that was the case with him, but I just want to say with some people, that is definitely the case.

02:52:27.000 Steroids are real tricky, man.

02:52:28.000 Because for the longest time, they've just been able to use them whenever anything was injured.

02:52:33.000 You know, either you used it all the time, like some guys certainly did, or you used it when you had injuries, which is like a very reasonable approach.

02:52:41.000 But, you know, we're just fine.

02:52:43.000 You know, Glace and Tebow just failed two tests.

02:52:48.000 Yeah, one for, I don't know what it was, but one was for EPO. And if you look at Gleason Tebow, that guy might have the second best body in the UFC next to fucking, next to Yoel Romero. 0.84

02:53:00.000 Like, Gleason Tebow is ridiculously shredded, you know? 0.93

02:53:04.000 It's just that there's a culture of people using banned substances.

02:53:09.000 They've been doing it for a long time, I think. 0.98

02:53:12.000 These guys that UFC hired, they're not fucking around. 0.98

02:53:16.000 Really? 0.99

02:53:16.000 They're not fucking around. 0.99

02:53:18.000 They're going to wake you up at 6.30 in the morning. 1.00

02:53:21.000 Pee in the cup, Joey Diaz.

02:53:22.000 Like, what?

02:53:23.000 Pee now?

02:53:23.000 I can't.

02:53:24.000 Sure you can.

02:53:25.000 We'll wait.

02:53:26.000 They don't leave your side.

02:53:27.000 They stay with you.

02:53:27.000 They watch you pee.

02:53:29.000 They collect your shit. 1.00

02:53:30.000 They do it a couple times. 1.00

02:53:31.000 They do it randomly.

02:53:32.000 They show up whenever they want. 0.99

02:53:33.000 If they have suspicions, like if Novitski suspects something's wrong, he thinks you're cheating, they'll just be up your ass with a microscope. 0.96

02:53:41.000 So, are they testing you in competition mode or off-season? 0.96

02:53:47.000 They're doing everything.

02:53:48.000 They're doing everything.

02:53:49.000 I'm not fighting until October.

02:53:50.000 Doesn't matter.

02:53:50.000 Right now, I'm just a coach.

02:53:51.000 They just might show up.

02:53:52.000 Okay.

02:53:52.000 Well, that's what happened with Vanderlei.

02:53:54.000 Vanderlei did not have a fight scheduled, and they just showed up to test him.

02:53:57.000 And he was like, what?

02:53:59.000 He just ran out the door.

02:54:00.000 Vandalay has become Trump.

02:54:02.000 Vandalay has become Donald Trump of Brazil.

02:54:04.000 He just says, who's he want to smack in the face yesterday?

02:54:07.000 Conor.

02:54:08.000 Yeah, yesterday. 1.00

02:54:08.000 Conor said he would whoop Jesus' ass. 1.00

02:54:12.000 Conor McGregor is so crazy. 1.00

02:54:15.000 Every fucking month he says one thing. 1.00

02:54:17.000 I feel terrible for Vandalay. 0.99

02:54:19.000 I'm very conflicted about this.

02:54:21.000 I feel terrible for Vanderlei because I was a Vanderlei Silva fan my whole life.

02:54:26.000 I think if I had to pick one fighter that I'm like my most favorite guy to watch fight, it might be Vanderlei.

02:54:31.000 It's real close. 0.95

02:54:33.000 In his pride days, he was just a fucking awesome spectacle. 0.98

02:54:38.000 He was amazing. 0.98

02:54:39.000 And when they banned him for life, I think that broke his heart.

02:54:42.000 And when the UFC couldn't do anything about it because it's the Nevada State Athletic Commission, he's got a fight in court, so he feels abandoned.

02:54:49.000 I don't know what the position is.

02:54:52.000 Everybody's position that I know as far as, like, trainers, commentators, fighters, everyone across the board was like, that's outrageous.

02:55:00.000 The guy didn't even fail.

02:55:02.000 He didn't even fail a drug test.

02:55:03.000 You're going to ban him for life?

02:55:04.000 That's so crazy.

02:55:06.000 And by all accounts, Vanderlei is one of the nicest guys ever.

02:55:09.000 Every time I met him, he's super friendly.

02:55:12.000 I don't know if the guy was doing something.

02:55:14.000 What I do know is there's a penalty if he got caught.

02:55:16.000 That penalty at the time was only like nine months.

02:55:19.000 I'm like, how are you going to take a guy that if he did get caught, he'd get a nine-month penalty, and you're saying forever?

02:55:24.000 You can't ever make money?

02:55:26.000 That's cruel.

02:55:27.000 That's a cruel way of conducting business.

02:55:30.000 You don't care about this guy.

02:55:31.000 This guy's a legend.

02:55:33.000 This sport, like the reason why people come and pay all that money and go to see fights and use their credit cards and buy beer and the whole revenue of the town, it's because of the product.

02:55:44.000 And that product is fighting.

02:55:46.000 And out of those fighters, Verdele was one of the most loved and one of the most, like, respected and revered fighters.

02:55:53.000 So people would come to see him.

02:55:55.000 Like, his very presence would generate income.

02:55:58.000 And for them to just not even take into account that this guy was a legend and just never failed before, ever.

02:56:06.000 Never failed a single drug test.

02:56:08.000 And then all of a sudden they cut his career out from under him.

02:56:11.000 He lost his mind, I think.

02:56:12.000 He made them nervous.

02:56:14.000 He made people nervous.

02:56:16.000 You know, he was just making people nervous, I think. 1.00

02:56:19.000 And he was saying shit. 1.00

02:56:20.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:56:20.000 He didn't do that until after he got banned. 1.00

02:56:23.000 He was a company man.

02:56:25.000 Vandele was a company man.

02:56:27.000 He always supported the UFC. Didn't something happen during the taping of that show?

02:56:33.000 I don't know.

02:56:34.000 What do you mean?

02:56:35.000 Didn't he do something?

02:56:36.000 Did he coach somebody?

02:56:37.000 Yeah.

02:56:38.000 That's how it all...

02:56:39.000 During that, he was a little...

02:56:40.000 I don't know.

02:56:41.000 What happened?

02:56:42.000 I don't know.

02:56:43.000 Didn't he do, like, Ultimate Fighter?

02:56:45.000 I think so.

02:56:46.000 Where he coached somebody.

02:56:47.000 Yeah.

02:56:47.000 And during that, he was having moments.

02:56:49.000 I met him. 0.99

02:56:51.000 I think he's fucking great. 0.98

02:56:52.000 You know, I watched all the old footage. 0.99

02:56:54.000 The fights he was involved in were fucking great. 0.88

02:56:57.000 But, you know, now, when I read that yesterday, I'm like, you know, Dana White's sitting there going, Yeah. 0.97

02:57:04.000 If I was Dana White, I'd sleep with one eye open, too. 1.00

02:57:07.000 Because Vandalay Silver, you never know with that motherfucker. 1.00

02:57:10.000 You never know. 1.00

02:57:12.000 No, you never know.

02:57:12.000 You ever watched the Pink Panther?

02:57:13.000 He told Kato to attack him no matter what.

02:57:16.000 Yeah.

02:57:16.000 He used to tell Kato, I want you to attack me no matter what, attack me.

02:57:20.000 And he would come home and look around Kato, and he would go into every room, and then he would fucking, he would Kato it for 15 minutes and shit, and then he'd go, huh. 0.99

02:57:31.000 And then he'd have a bag of groceries, he'd put the groceries down, he'd open up the refrigerator, and Cato would come out of the refrigerator, and grab him and shit. 0.98

02:57:39.000 Same thing with Vandelay Silver. 0.99

02:57:40.000 Like, there was a report on The Wire.

02:57:43.000 Vandelay Silver's in Las Vegas.

02:57:45.000 And nobody could find it.

02:57:46.000 They're looking for Vandelay Silver.

02:57:47.000 And all of a sudden, they're, like, waiting there.

02:57:49.000 Dana's got his bodyguard, another guy.

02:57:51.000 Everybody's got bodyguards. 0.99

02:57:52.000 And all of a sudden, right during the fight, you see a fucking rope come down with Anderson. 0.99

02:57:56.000 Vandelay. 0.99

02:57:57.000 With Vandelay. 1.00

02:57:58.000 I told you, I killed you! 0.99

02:57:59.000 You know, I could say... 1.00

02:58:04.000 That's the shit. 1.00

02:58:05.000 He makes people nervous. 1.00

02:58:06.000 And he's real.

02:58:07.000 He starts swinging, somebody's dying.

02:58:10.000 He was with Chael Sonnen, that's what it was.

02:58:12.000 Chael Sonnen, they had a real problem with that.

02:58:15.000 Oh yeah, they had a real problem with that.

02:58:17.000 Well, a lot of Brazilians got upset with him too.

02:58:19.000 With all the...

02:58:20.000 Bizarre heel turn on Toph offers cautionary tale to veteran fighters.

02:58:24.000 Wow.

02:58:26.000 Interesting.

02:58:27.000 He got, and I love him.

02:58:28.000 He's just real.

02:58:29.000 Well, Chael Sonnen just wound him up to the point where he was like ready to fight all the time.

02:58:33.000 Right, all the time.

02:58:34.000 And Brazilians got upset with him.

02:58:35.000 You know, they're like, you're not, you know, you're not representing us right.

02:58:38.000 Like you're making us look like we're just thugs ready to fight for no reason.

02:58:42.000 But, like, for Vanderlei, he's like, this guy's making it personal.

02:58:45.000 He's making it real. 1.00

02:58:46.000 I want to fucking kill him. 1.00

02:58:47.000 I want to kick his ass right now. 1.00

02:58:48.000 Fuck this. 1.00

02:58:49.000 You know, Vanderlei, like, wanted to, like, stand his ground. 1.00

02:58:51.000 The whole thing was crazy.

02:58:53.000 But Chael Sonnen was hilarious in that.

02:58:55.000 Don't touch me.

02:58:56.000 Don't touch me.

02:58:56.000 Nope.

02:58:56.000 Don't get close.

02:58:57.000 Like, keeps his hand up to his head and then eventually just decides to take him down. 0.99

02:59:02.000 What the fuck happens? 0.99

02:59:05.000 We're out of time, Joey Diaz. 1.00

02:59:07.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:59:09.000 It's Christmas Eve, man. 0.99

02:59:10.000 It is.

02:59:10.000 It's Christmas Eve.

02:59:11.000 Merry Christmas, my brother.

02:59:12.000 Who's better than us?

02:59:13.000 Nobody.

02:59:14.000 Nobody.

02:59:15.000 Um, Wilshire Theatre is, uh, Wiltern, brother.

02:59:18.000 Is it sold out?

02:59:19.000 Sold out.

02:59:20.000 Yeah, it's sold out.

02:59:21.000 Yeah, it's been sold out for a while.

02:59:22.000 There's like, there's a single, or a couple single tickets left, but that's, uh, next week, friends.

02:59:27.000 Very excited.

02:59:28.000 Ooh, boy.

02:59:29.000 Thursday night.

02:59:30.000 Yeah, it's gonna be fun.

02:59:31.000 A week from today.

02:59:32.000 Yeah.

02:59:32.000 We're excited, too.

02:59:33.000 So, Brian, you got some shit going on, too, right? 0.96

02:59:35.000 Yeah, this Saturday, day after Christmas, me and Tony Hinchcliffe and Ashley Barnhill will be in Austin at the Spider House Ballroom, and then followed by Dallas the following day at Hyenas Comedy Club. 0.99

02:59:46.000 We're doing Kill Tony, followed by a comedy show in both cities.

02:59:49.000 You're using, like, local folks for Kill Tony?

02:59:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:59:51.000 They sign up a half hour before the show.

02:59:53.000 You can go to deathsquad.tv and get the tickets.

02:59:55.000 Click on tour dates.

02:59:56.000 Nice.

02:59:57.000 Nice.

02:59:58.000 Joe Diaz, what's going on?

02:59:59.000 Anything?

03:00:00.000 Anything to tell these people?

03:00:01.000 I'm doing a New Year's show with you, and I'm taking a week off like you do just to revitalize myself.

03:00:05.000 Revitalize.

03:00:06.000 Get that life in order.

03:00:07.000 Revitalize. 1.00

03:00:08.000 And I start to savage that toward January 28th, motherfucker. 1.00

03:00:13.000 Charlotte, North Carolina. 0.99

03:00:14.000 And what is the website?

03:00:16.000 Website for tickets?

03:00:17.000 JoeyDiaz.net.

03:00:18.000 Oh, for Charlotte.

03:00:19.000 For anything.

03:00:20.000 Go JoeyDiaz.net.

03:00:21.000 JoeyDiaz.net. 1.00

03:00:22.000 All right, you fucks. 0.98

03:00:23.000 Thank you, everybody. 0.99

03:00:24.000 See you next week.

03:00:25.000 Stay whatever color you are, please.

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 24, 2015

Joe Rogan Experience #741 - Joey Diaz

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Summary

Transcript