Comedian Jean-Lajoie joins us to talk about his love of the butthole, and what it's like to be a man in his late 20's who doesn't know the difference between a real and fake butt. We're sponsored by The Fleshlight, and if you enter the code "Rogan" at checkout, you get 15% off the entire site. If you go to joe.roogan.net and enter "code name Rogan" and enter in the code name "ROGAN" you get $15 off the whole site, plus free shipping on all orders. Joe Rogan is a stand-up comedian from Los Angeles, California. He's been in comedy for over 20 years, and is one of the funniest people I've ever met. He's funny, smart, and has a great sense of humor, which is what makes him even funnier than you'd expect from someone who's not even half of his age yet. Enjoy this episode, and don't forget to give us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and subscribe to our other podcast, The Creepy Butthole. It'll help us spread the word about this podcast to the rest of the world. Cheers! -Joe Rogan and the Creepy Bunch! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Artwork by Ian Dorsch. Thank you for listening to this episode of the podcast and supporting us on Soundcloud. Please rate, review and review us on Anchor.fm, and share the podcast on your thoughts, and tell us what you think of this podcast! and we'll be listening to it in the next week's episode on your social media platforms! if you like it, we'll get a shoutout on the next episode! thank you! :) and tag us on insta on Insta: . and if it's a good one! or you leave us a review on Instapod or a review or review on the pod? or review it on Instafoodie and a review is a star rating on Instagrasmatic and/or a review we'll have it on the podcast is a shout out on Instacart? and you'll be notified about it!
00:00:13.000I read till I reach my destination Sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book The amount of money I save, this shit is off the hook And I'm not very good with the women I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average looking Last time I had sex was in 2003 and I'm ashamed to admit, but it wasn't free.
00:00:32.000I'm just a regular, everyday, normal guy.
00:00:34.000I get nervous in social situations, motherfuckers.
00:00:38.000I'm just a regular, everyday, normal guy.
00:00:40.000I get constipated once a And I make pretty good spaghetti sauce, motherfucker.
00:00:49.000And I get scared when I go see the dentist.
00:01:58.000Well, this one has been around, and everybody's been fingering it since the beginning of the year, so we're going to have to get you a new one.
00:05:31.000You're fucking setting a pace you can't really match up with.
00:05:33.000Once you fuck a chick with one of those rabbit things, and it's beating the fuck out of the sides of her pussy, it's just Anderson Silva kneeing the sides of her pussy, just slamming it.
00:05:50.000Yeah, what are you going to do with that fleshy little soft thing that you've got to worry about if she gets on top and she might break it?
00:05:57.000You ever have that happen, man, where it almost breaks?
00:10:09.000There's been so many times where, like, I do Spider-Man, me talking about Spider-Man, where it's me throwing cum on walls of hotels, and I do it on stage now, and it fucking kills.
00:10:24.000You know, you're in your underwear, and you're putting your socks on, you might lean against the wall, and you could easily be touching this creep's loads.
00:10:29.000Even worse, I play chicken, I throw it on the ceiling, I keep my mouth open, and...
00:10:35.000Yo, to play chicken, you have to play with someone else.
00:10:39.000That's just an excuse to be gay for yourself, bro.
00:10:41.000It's as if I dart out of the way, but I don't, and that's why I get ID for cigarettes.
00:11:18.000It's fucking hilarious, but it's also your fucking toes curl up, your butthole crunches up, you close your nostrils when you hear it, your whole body constricts, you're like, don't eat your own cum!
00:11:57.000My manager tells me the story of him and his buddy.
00:12:01.000They hooked up with these two chicks, and they're at the hotel room with these two chicks, and the two chicks start making out and everything, and they go, if you guys make out, we will just do everything, but you guys have to make out.
00:12:15.000And my manager's just like, okay, fuck it, I'm out of here, and the guy's chasing him around the room going, stop being such a fucking pussy and make out with that.
00:13:55.000They didn't try to make him look like anything other than what he was.
00:13:58.000Flawed, brilliant but flawed, crazy all over the place, but look what he produced.
00:14:04.000But it was also like, look how he fell.
00:14:06.000Like, look how it all fell apart for him.
00:14:08.000Look how his, you know, his whole life and career.
00:14:10.000Yeah, when he starts losing hope in the end, when he said all the uphill battles, he said that, yeah.
00:14:14.000Scary shit, man, because, you know, as any artist, I think, I think we all look at ourselves and, you know, you look at, you know, what's your eventual take on this going to be?
00:14:23.000Like, what's your body of work going to be like after 20 years or 30 years?
00:14:27.000And at the end, are you going to still be enjoying this?
00:15:18.000Nothing is, like, forever going to be that way.
00:15:20.000So, five years from now, like, if you don't cultivate that kind of life and everything, you can all of a sudden, five years down the road, just not give a fuck about, like, and just completely, like, be a completely different...
00:15:33.000You have to be comfortable in the struggle.
00:15:36.000And part of the struggle is constantly creating, constantly coming up with new things.
00:15:41.000Because as soon as you stop doing that, if you stop creating and you stop exploring it and utilizing that part of your mind and whatever it is, your spirit, it goes away.
00:15:51.000The only reason why it's there is because it took you fucking 10, 15 years of going on stage over and over again to cultivate this thing where you know how to do it correctly.
00:19:31.000Like, I put out videos, and mine's more like content.
00:19:33.000You allow sketches and songs, and I create the content, and I'll shoot it, edit it, and put it out.
00:19:38.000It's like, you know, I don't have a TV show, so this is me doing my own content, and I fucking love it, and the creative freedom that comes along with it.
00:19:54.000It's also why your stuff is so good, because it's coming from you.
00:19:58.000When one person does this, and it sounds crazy, but I really believe this, when one person is involved in creating something and then they put it out, it's almost like you get a sense of their personality.
00:20:09.000You get a glimpse into their creative, whatever the frequency they tune into.
00:20:15.000When a bunch of people When people get in it, it can be really funny, but you might not enjoy it as much.
00:21:17.000That's a teaser, ladies and gentlemen.
00:21:18.000We'll let you know at the end we're going to have a juicy song for you.
00:21:21.000Anybody who's having a problem with this podcast, getting it from iTunes, looking for the latest episodes every time, it's way easier if you just subscribe.
00:21:28.000If you subscribe, you get them as soon as we put it up there.
00:21:31.000But apparently Apple has some weird new way they're handling podcasts now where it doesn't allow you to ping the server.
00:21:38.000This is all complicated shit, but the long and short of it is The best way to get the podcast the quickest is just subscribe on iTunes.
00:21:45.000Or you can always go to JoeRogan.net and right after the podcast is over, within a couple hours, Brian has a link up and you can download it from that.
00:23:11.000I was doing an AT&T commercial last night.
00:23:13.000I was sitting there, and I was sending all these photos to my Flickr, and I was also trying to download this YouTube video, and then somebody calls me.
00:23:21.000If somebody would have called me during that on the Verizon network, all that shit would have, like, failed.
00:27:32.000Now, do you write all your stuff yourself?
00:27:34.000And, like, do you just sit there and think of a good idea?
00:27:36.000And, I mean, did you start off, like, doing, like, you know, just using a cell phone camera, playing around?
00:27:41.000What it was was, like, I was, I went to theater school in Montreal, then I graduated, and I got a role on this French-language TV show, which, it was, you know, it was cool.
00:27:52.000It's a great job and everything, but it wasn't really what I wanted to do, you By the way, how much does it help with chicks being bilingual and the other languages?
00:28:08.000I mean, so many girls, you just tripped them so quickly.
00:28:11.000Dude, you can know nothing about wine.
00:28:12.000All you'd have to do is just start talking about the area of France where these grapes are grown, and that bitch should get all moist on you.
00:28:24.000But it's weird in Montreal, like, if you don't, like, being an English dude in Montreal and on a French show, like, chicks like me because I had the English, the English side.
00:28:33.000Oh, so the French chicks like you because you spoke English as well.
00:28:36.000Yeah, and then out here, it's kind of like, oh, really?
00:30:10.000Well, I mean, it goes way back, but it's basically, you know, New France became, like, the English beat the French, and then, like, you had all this huge French population, and now it was English territory, and they were kind of, like, lax enough to go, okay, you can keep practicing your Catholicism and your things, we'll let you alone, but you're, you know, this is the British Empire, da-da-da.
00:35:07.000You know, Montreal always confused me because I lived in Boston and I had this cold weather douchebag theory.
00:35:14.000I was like, well, the reason why Boston people are so douchey is because it's cold as fuck up there and you get angry like six months out of here.
00:37:24.000And to be behind the wheel controlling this huge hunk of metal, like around thousands of people, yeah, I don't think that's a good idea.
00:37:33.000It's funny, this has been a topic of conversation recently, even on my message board, about people that were like 20. When I was 20, I was retarded.
00:37:41.000Like, you know, don't tell me what the fuck is going on when you're 20. I don't want to hear you talk about, you know, what's wrong with the world when you're 20. And a lot of people are like, you know, back in the fucking middle ages, you know, 20 was middle-aged.
00:37:55.000Don't discount my opinion because I'm 20 years old.
00:38:18.000It's just that the fact that you're even confident enough to want people to listen to your opinion at 20 shows me you're on the wrong road.
00:38:27.000You should be just asking questions and looking around.
00:38:31.000Just jumping in and trying to force your opinions on when you're 20. You don't really know that much.
00:38:36.000You might have some information, but man, you look back on what you were like when you were 20. There's no 20-year-old that is going to be able to stand on television with a microphone and tell the world what needs to be fixed.
00:39:47.000But in my early 20s, everything was an important moral decision.
00:39:50.000And my parents are really Pentecostal, really religious, very good people, but very religious people.
00:39:58.000So I kind of have that baggage where I'm trying to...
00:40:01.000You know doing good is like what makes my parents proud and as opposed to like oh I have all these fans and stuff like if I do something like really nice or something like that that's when my parents are really proud of me right like I kind of have this thing so I was trying to figure like and now you know you know I'm 30 and like I'm living in LA and you know like I have a bit of success and so once in a while I have to go okay early 20s John Am I being an asshole right now?
00:41:22.000The eating of animals thing is a really very controversial subject.
00:41:26.000And I know a lot of people that have a lot of different opinions of it.
00:41:29.000And they're all very, very adamant about how they are.
00:41:33.000The people who eat meat just really want to justify it.
00:41:35.000And they get super aggressive about it.
00:41:37.000And, you know, the people that don't, I mean, I've had some annoying motherfuckers on my message board that want to talk to me about eating animals.
00:42:27.000That's fucking stupid because you step on bugs all the time.
00:42:30.000We're convenient shitheads, all right?
00:42:32.000And the funniest thing is that eating meat and the animal proteins helped us develop and come to the point in our consciousness of where we are because it helped develop the brain rapidly, which is the funniest thing.
00:42:45.000Well, that's actually a controversial theory.
00:43:13.000But he was the first one to get footage of chimps eating monkeys, and I think that was in the 90s.
00:43:18.000So I think these ideas that they had about that, there's two other theories.
00:43:22.000One of them is a throwing arm, and that when people develop the ability to throw things, that that sort of kicked off our evolution, because we started killing things that were far away from us.
00:43:34.000We started getting better at hunting, and we thrived, and as we thrived, we got a little bit more confidence, and we started thinking about things more.
00:43:41.000It's like the more calm you can get, the more control over your environment, the more you have free time to think about shit, because you're not always fighting off jaguars and all these different things.
00:43:50.000So we figured out how to do things like throw spears, throw rocks.
00:43:57.000The other one is psychedelic mushrooms.
00:43:59.000And that's the most controversial one, but really the most fascinating one.
00:44:02.000And it's Terence McKenna's stoned ape theory.
00:44:05.000And this theory is that somewhere along the line, and this is the undisputable fact, somewhere along the line, the human brain size doubled over a period of two million years.
00:44:14.000And that is, in the entire fossil record, the most confusing thing.
00:44:36.000It all happens supposedly inside this area, and this area doubled in two years.
00:44:40.000Well, it's coincidentally also the same time that the rainforest receded into grasslands, there was a climate change.
00:44:47.000And Terence McKenna's theory is that monkeys were forced, or lower primates, were forced to come out of the trees and experiment with new food sources because the rainforests were gone.
00:44:57.000And these animals that were in this once lush tropical environment had to adapt to this new environment.
00:45:02.000And one of the things they did was there was a lot of cows that were eating the grass and they would flip over cow turds looking for bugs.
00:45:08.000And that's the best place for Cubensis mushrooms to grow.
00:45:11.000So these Cubensis mushrooms would You grow in this cow shit and these chips and whatever the fuck they were, lower primates, Australopithecus, whatever the fuck it was, they would eat these mushrooms.
00:45:22.000One, that there was a direct increase in their ability to see things.
00:45:27.000Because when you eat psilocybin, especially in low doses, it increases your visual acuity.
00:45:31.000And the other thing was that it would give them this sort of community-loving atmosphere, protecting atmosphere, and that would also aid in their less conflicts.
00:45:43.000The less conflicts that they had would aid in their innovation, just like with the other thing.
00:45:48.000Also, they would start having psychedelic experiences, and in large doses, these psychedelic experiences would slowly help them evolve much, much quicker and sort of figure things out that they maybe not have figured out.
00:46:00.000And the idea, the really weird part of the idea, is that they think, and this is all McKenna and a few other psychos, they think that what mushrooms are is some sort of an alien intelligence that has come here from an asteroid.
00:46:13.000Because the reason for that is there's no...
00:46:17.000Like, there's nothing that can survive in a vacuum better than spores.
00:46:20.000And we know that a bunch of shit has come here on asteroids from other planets like DNA or, excuse me, like amino acids and the building blocks for life and water.
00:46:33.000And we know that spores can survive in a vacuum.
00:46:37.000And the idea is that somewhere on some other planet, there was some type of a spore, and it came here on an asteroid, landed, and the way it communicates with people is you eat it.
00:46:50.000And that this is what caused human beings to evolve out of monkeys.
00:46:54.000I mean, it is one of those five-bong hit, stare at space, and think it through for like 10 hours.
00:47:00.000At first, it sounds totally ridiculous that mushrooms are silly.
00:47:05.000But if he's one scientist or whatever that thinks that...
00:47:10.000Well, he's not even a scientist, really.
00:47:14.000He was the ethnobotanist, I think, was his chosen study.
00:47:17.000So if you ask any of the other thousands of scientists that would know anything close to what he's talking about, wouldn't they think, all right, he's very high?
00:47:25.000Well, first of all, you have to realize that as a scientist, first of all, getting behind anything that advocates a completely new direction in evolution and one based on psychedelic mushrooms, illegal drugs...
00:54:21.000Cancer cells resembled life one billion years ago.
00:54:24.000And they have all these comparisons and, you know, this is all like some serious scientific study.
00:54:29.000About the origins of life and the origins of cancer and the idea, and this is where it could be completely insane, but the idea is if human life becomes so fucked up and chaotic and so unnatural and so polluted by chemicals and destroyed by ideology and nonsense and we just breed ourselves down to mush, this is the mush.
00:54:53.000What this is, is this is what started life in the first place.
00:54:56.000Life was just a series of fucking cells that grew out of control and became eventually human beings.
00:55:02.000And for this shit to be growing inside of us at an ever-expanding rate constantly is like the primordial ooze trying to reclaim its creation.
00:55:12.000This is the universal fucking etch-a-sketch and they're shaking it right now.
00:55:52.000There's a lot of scientists that believe that all cancer is within the industrial age and previously before that, any exposure to chemicals and things, carcinogen shit, but that this shit doesn't really exist in nature.
00:56:04.000And when you're eating a primate, what would you call it, a paleo diet of all vegetables and all clean animals that you kill, you're not getting introduced to any of the shit that creates cancer.
00:56:19.000I mean, I don't know how the fuck they could ever prove it.
00:56:21.000They would have to go back in time, you know, whatever, 100,000 years or whatever the fuck it was before people ever figured out how to fuck with chemicals.
00:57:25.000It's like you have a parasite inside you, and we're going to slowly bring you to death's door, and hopefully it'll kill the parasite.
00:57:31.000And then you get to, like, start eating oatmeal again and walking without a limp, and then as soon as that happens again, oh, your friend is back for another fucking round.
00:59:59.000My brother worked at a fruit and vegetable place.
01:00:02.000He said they used to take the celery out.
01:00:04.000You have to wear gloves when they'd unload it from the boxes and put it in the front because he'd get burns on his hands from the chemicals that were on the celery.
01:01:01.000Well, that's what's really crazy about genetically modified crops is how they affect other farmers have gotten sued because the shit flew through the air and landed on their fields and they found these crops and they'll do a test on them and then these guys have to go to court and they want money from them.
01:01:29.000I don't know if they did, but people were like, this is the end of the world.
01:01:33.000This is the most evil organizations ever, and one's going to buy the other, and they're going to become one massive, super evil organization.
01:04:15.000I mean, I just read, like, on another similar kind of thing, I just read about they're going to start selling genetically modified salmon that grows twice as big in half the time.
01:04:24.000And they're like, oh, we're not too worried about these salmon and going into the wild.
01:04:30.000Of course you're going to go in the wild.
01:07:38.000Even if they're not hungry, they just attack them.
01:07:40.000They just attack them and fuck them up.
01:07:42.000So I would dump the goldfish in there, and they would look at the goldfish for a second, and they would slowly move closer, slowly move closer, and then one of them would go for it.
01:07:52.000And when one of them would go for it, they would just dart, snap, I would snap and cut a goldfish in half, and then the blood would be in the water, and then it was on like Donkey Kong.
01:08:00.000And then I would sit there and watch them go back and forth and chasing them around these little driftwood things and shit, and the goldfish don't know what the fuck is going on.
01:08:08.000And they're just getting cut down like a goddamn horror movie.
01:08:15.000They're stealing dead goldfish from each other.
01:08:17.000Like one's got a half a goldfish and the other one comes up and bites it off of his face.
01:08:20.000So after like a good like killing when they would go nuts, they would be missing lips and shit.
01:08:26.000Their lips would be because they would be stealing from each other and they cut their own lips off.
01:08:30.000So they were always like this really...
01:08:32.000They're creepy looking anyway, but they were even more creepy when their white teeth were exposed and they'd be swimming around this fucking tank.
01:08:39.000And a lot of people cut their lips off just so they can see the white teeth.
01:08:43.000You pull them out and you remove their lips and then you put them back in the water.
01:08:47.000And they swim around and they swim around like monsters.
01:09:17.000Just this ridiculous mouth of giant fucking teeth.
01:09:21.000And just these Dead eyes and this big fucking plate-covered body of death just swimming through incredibly fast waters and fucking things up and it's huge.
01:14:10.000They bring in the sheriff from up in Alaska.
01:14:12.000Well, I knew he was going to get in trouble up there.
01:14:16.000They have these interviews with these people, and they're talking about how he had to recognize the body, and how they had to shoot the bear, because the bear was still there, like, guarding over the bodies.
01:14:31.000But it was an old, what it was was, the guy, they called it suicide by bear.
01:14:36.000And what happened was the guy had just decided to stay way past you're supposed to.
01:14:40.000And when you get to a certain point in time, the bears that are conscious or that are up, that aren't hibernating, are all the ones who are dying.
01:15:23.000Because the thing about bears is, they just start eating you.
01:15:27.000See, a real carnivore, or rather a real predator like a cat, cats kill you first because they want to keep killing things, and they don't want to have to worry about fighting you.
01:15:39.000Hyenas, though, hyenas just start eating.
01:23:23.000The fun way to go is you live a long life, you fucking party your ass off, you make a lot of good friends, and people miss you when you're gone, you're surrounded by your friends and loved ones as you pass through the next stage of existence.
01:24:36.000If there's any karma out there, I mean, the universe, does it really give a fuck about the difference between the life of a goldfish or the life of a person?
01:24:41.000I mean, I took some pleasure in the death of goldfish, and I set it up.
01:24:45.000I introduced some alien fish that aren't even supposed to be in this environment.
01:24:48.000I had a fake artificial environment in my own home, and I would use it for a little goldfish coliseum.
01:28:52.000The chances of you dying by wolf attack are like, the chances of you dying of old age are nothing.
01:28:57.000It's terrifying, and it's just started to happen again.
01:28:59.000There's been two instances in the last fucking hundred years or so, and they've both been within the last ten years of people getting killed by wolves.
01:30:37.000I'm just scared of regular spiders in my bed because you read that some of these spiders are poisonous here in California and they hide in your shoes in your bed.
01:30:45.000Are there black widows here that have them?
01:33:10.000I'm absolutely convinced, and I've read about it before.
01:33:14.000This guy, Rupert Sheldrake, was talking about, I believe he's an evolutionary biologist, and he was talking about how animals are what people are really terrified of, monsters.
01:33:24.000No matter what the real dangers of your environment, if you're a child and you live in New York City, You're not worried about car accidents or rapists.
01:34:26.000You can transmit other ideas into people's heads.
01:34:30.000You can transmit even talent maybe into people's heads.
01:34:33.000It's pretty fucking trippy when you think about it.
01:34:35.000Because we don't have a documentation of where all our information comes from.
01:34:39.000How much of your information is from your ancestors?
01:34:42.000How much of it is from all these people that have lived before you that have made mistakes and learned from them and you sort of have this internal wisdom thing going on because of that?
01:34:58.000Or is it that somehow or another they have gotten a rich history of people who have survived and learned shit and it's incorporated into their DNA? Yeah.
01:35:08.000Yeah, and it's very egotistical also to think that, oh, I'm just a smart person or I'm very careful because I'm afraid.
01:36:18.000Dude, listen, first of all, you're just kidding, because people can hear this, and cops listen to this, dummy, if they ever pull you over and go, I'm a fan of the podcast.
01:37:01.000If I have two or three even, I'm like, all right, I'm a big boy.
01:37:04.000I know how to stay in between the lines and stuff.
01:37:07.000But the problem is if I did get pulled over, of course I could get a DUI. What I want to know is these people that have three of them, is that usually the case?
01:37:17.000Is your friend blackout drunk driving or is he just screwed?
01:37:48.000There's too many of us and we can't help everybody get their shit together.
01:37:52.000So you're always going to be around a bunch of people that are broken.
01:37:55.000The way our society exists, it's just too goddamn big.
01:37:59.000It's too big and the competition is too powerful and too strong for us to pay attention to all these people that are falling by the wayside.
01:38:05.000So if you don't pay attention to them, well, all these fucking idiots, they're just running around, slamming into people.
01:39:04.000If I was alone in the woods and it was like Armageddon time and there was no more media and cell phones didn't work anymore and I thought this dude would be a problem, I'd just walk him in the woods.
01:39:42.000There's certain people that you worry when you're around them.
01:39:45.000There's certain people that you feel like they're going to victimize your loved ones.
01:39:48.000You know, there's certain people, like, you know, a certain level of criminal, a certain level of violent offender, you know, and random violent offender, like people raping, you know, and beat women up.
01:39:58.000And then, you know, that could be your mom, that could be your sister, that could be your daughter.
01:42:36.000Like everyone who says they wouldn't, like, you're like, I'm sure those fucking dudes when they were going to jail were like, I'm not gonna be gay.
01:42:43.000And like 15 years down the line, like, well, I feel like fucking something.
01:42:51.000In the Mexican community, they call it gay for the stay.
01:42:55.000There's a thing with a lot of people that go to jail and do some gay shit, but they only do it in jail.
01:43:00.000When they get out, they're not gay at all.
01:43:01.000You ever see that American Me, that Edward James Almost movie?
01:43:05.000There was a lot of that going on in that movie.
01:43:07.000Like, he would come out, he was all fucked up sexually, just wanted to rape chicks, bang them in the ass, because that's how you'd get guys in jail.
01:43:13.000Yeah, it was a really creepy movie, man.
01:43:16.000It was like a first real exposure to the Mexican gang culture that I ever had, or any L.A. gang culture, you know?
01:45:08.000I remember when Eazy-E died of AIDS. I was like, holy shit.
01:45:11.000I always thought this was just the beginning and I'm looking down the line at some Mad Max situation where I'm walking around town with one of those Chinese face mask things on.
01:45:21.000You always see the Chinese people at the airports.
01:46:09.000Well, the first guy ever, who was HIV positive, it's not clear how it happened, but the first HIV positive, they cured it somewhere in Sweden or something.
01:46:34.000Like the skin gun, have you heard about this thing that they've got?
01:46:37.000There's a new thing that they've figured out how to do where they can actually take cultures from your skin, they reproduce with your own stem cells, and then they spray it in sort of a gun on your skin where it's burnt.
01:46:51.000And it only takes like a certain amount of time to cultivate, like an hour or two to cultivate.
01:47:55.000If a girl has an abortion, should you just flush it?
01:47:58.000You're telling me there's something that you can learn in there that can unlock the secret to immortality or cure cancer or whatever the fuck it can do.
01:48:05.000You're telling me you should just throw it away because it's dead and it's immoral and somehow or another you're profiting off of abortion?
01:48:25.000How long before there was abortion porn?
01:48:28.000We had a porn star on that Naughty Show podcast I did yesterday that was eating out a girl and started bleeding and they were like, you know, she started her period and found out it was a miscarriage in her mouth.
01:48:45.000So she was eating a pussy, probably two pussies.
01:49:26.000Opie, from Opie and Anthony, nicknamed us the Death Squad a long time ago.
01:49:30.000Because I came onto the Opie and Anthony show, and at the time, it was my friend Tate Fletcher, who was on The Ultimate Fighter, and he was on the show at the time.
01:49:37.000He came with me, and Eddie Bravo, who's the jiu-jitsu guy.
01:50:17.000And they also do, whenever there's a UFC, they get hammered and they watch the UFC together and do their own coinciding podcast, like talking shit about fights as they go down.
01:50:26.000And sometimes you even had Joey on that one once, right?
01:50:45.000He drops two tabs of acid and watching cage fights, and they all, I mean, what was that like?
01:50:49.000What was that like sitting there with him for six hours?
01:50:51.000Well, it's like you're in bed with him because the seats are so small, so you're kind of like on his lap, like holding like a big stuffed animal.
01:50:58.000So you got that, but then you got like the most hilarious commentary.
01:51:25.000Well, I can never do it the right way, too, because a lot of things you say when you're fucking around with your friends are very disrespectful.
01:51:34.000You know, hope you brought your jammies!
01:51:35.000You know, guys will sit when they're drunk and they're stoned and they're talking shit, but they would never say that to the fighter or want the fighter to hear that or want anybody else to even...
01:59:50.000She had a hole that she found where she would go under the fence, she would go to the neighbor's house, tip over their garbage, eat their garbage, And then sneak back in the yard, and I had no idea she was doing it.
02:00:51.000When you think about some dogs where they've done tests where they show that when owners are coming home, that the dogs respond, even when they're coming home at not normal hours, unusual hours, that through hidden cameras they've found that dogs can anticipate when their masters are coming home.
02:01:37.000Yeah, but the dog looks around and goes, okay, when it starts, the big rock that is bright outside goes down, and then he starts playing with that machine over there that makes the food.
02:01:48.000That kind of problem, that means it figures out its own way.
02:05:47.000You ever watch the sun go down And you're thinking about the world spinning round Have you ever been high as fuck?
02:05:56.000You're in the bathroom mirror talking to yourself And your dog's looking at you like you need help Have you ever been high as fuck?
02:06:13.000Then you feel your heart pumping really fast And you're convinced that you're gonna have a heart attack Have you ever been high as fuck?
02:06:27.000You close your eyes and you're on a chicken farm The only problem is that the chickens have human arms You say that's fucked up, why do the chickens have human arms?
02:06:40.000You need snacks, so you walk to the corner store But you're scared because you think that they will know you're high So you walk around the block to buy some time We're good