The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #80 - Joey Diaz & Ari Shaffir

Joe Rogan's brother Ari Shafir joins the show to talk about dropping acid at his house and how he and the rest of the Rogan clan came up with the idea to drop acid at the Rogans' compound in order to celebrate the fact that Joe Rogan and his brother Ari are the only two people in the entire world who can do what they do the way they do. Joe and Ari also talk about Ari's recent trip to Las Vegas and what it was like to be at the UFC Fight Night party with the other Rogans. Joe also talks about what it's like to drop LSD at a house party and why he doesn't want to do it anymore. The Rogans are joined by Brian Reichel, Brian Redman, and Brian's good friend, Joe's little brother, Joey Karate. They also discuss Ari's trip to Vegas and how they found out they were all high on acid and what they did to make sure they didn't get too high that night. Also, they talk about how they don't do drugs in the house anymore and why they don t do drugs anymore and how Ari doesn't like doing drugs. We also discuss how much they like to do drugs and why it's a good idea to do acid. This episode is sponsored by The Fleshlight. Get 15% off your first purchase with code: "TheJoeRogan Experience" at checkout and get 20% off of your purchase. Thank you for supporting the show! Joe Rogans and Ari's new book "The Rogans Experience" The Best Thing I've Ever Had a good time in the past week and we hope you enjoy the show and you leave us a review on iTunes and share it with a friend and tell us what you think of it! Cheers, Joe, you're awesome, Joe & Ari! XOXO, Joe and The Rogan Experience xoxo, Joe & Ari - The Joe and the Crew at The Joe & The Crew at Joe's Compound . . . XO, And the Crew , J. Rogans and The Crew . , J.R. & the Crew @ The Joe RogAN Experience. , A. R. & Ari at the J& R. Rogan Compound. and A. M. & A. S. & B. B.

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Oh.

00:00:20.000 Kicking it live.

00:00:36.000 Oh. 1.00

00:00:37.000 Damn, these mics are hot as fuck. 1.00

00:00:39.000 Kicking it live from the Rogan compound with my man Ari Shafir. 1.00

00:00:41.000 Ari motherfucking Shafir is in the house, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99

00:00:43.000 A-R-S-H-A-F-F-I-R. Follow him on Twitter. 0.99

00:00:47.000 Joe Diaz, Mad Flavor, a.k.a.

00:00:50.000 Planet Rock, a.k.a.

00:00:52.000 Joey Karate.

00:00:53.000 He's here as well.

00:00:54.000 Brian Reichel, Brian Redman, R-E-D-B-A-N. Who's singing this?

00:00:59.000 Whose song is it?

00:01:00.000 What's going on now?

00:01:01.000 What happened?

00:01:02.000 It's background music.

00:01:03.000 Did you make that song, Brian?

00:01:04.000 No, it's my laptop.

00:01:06.000 Yeah, we did.

00:01:07.000 Yeah, a combination between GarageBand and guitars.

00:01:11.000 Yeah, we haven't been playing music.

00:01:12.000 We're trying to clean it up for satellite radio, which may or may not ever happen.

00:01:17.000 Hopefully it will.

00:01:17.000 Looks like it's happening.

00:01:19.000 Whatever, bitches. 1.00

00:01:22.000 Much respect to The Fleshlight, our sponsor, before we even get started, before we get groovy with you, bitches. 1.00

00:01:28.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, what's that, buddy? 0.94

00:01:30.000 There's in the corner.

00:01:31.000 There's one of them.

00:01:32.000 They're all over the place.

00:01:33.000 There's one over here, too.

00:01:34.000 This house is littered.

00:01:35.000 Mrs. Rogan comes in there the other day and looks at all of them.

00:01:38.000 She goes, is there enough of these?

00:01:40.000 That's what she looks at them.

00:01:41.000 She goes, these?

00:01:42.000 That's how she looks at them.

00:01:44.000 This is like her competition that she has to accept. 1.00

00:01:47.000 Like little things that live in her house that I fuck. 1.00

00:01:50.000 This house is full of baby dolls and male dildos. 1.00

00:01:53.000 Yeah, what's up? 1.00

00:01:54.000 It's filled with child's toys and dick toys. 1.00

00:01:58.000 A big fat box of dick toys. 0.99

00:02:00.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net and click the link for the flashlight, you go to their website, type in the word Rogan, you get 15% off. 0.99

00:02:06.000 So I'm looking out for you bitches, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:02:08.000 I'm trying to get you some discounts on your masturbation. 1.00

00:02:11.000 Holler at me, Joe Diaz. 0.99

00:02:13.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:02:14.000 You gotta do what you gotta do.

00:02:15.000 If you can save 10 points and whack off at the same time, who's better than you?

00:02:20.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.98

00:02:22.000 We had a good goddamn time last weekend in Vegas. 1.00

00:02:25.000 Holy shit, was that fun. 1.00

00:02:26.000 Yes, we did. 0.99

00:02:27.000 Nice. 0.99

00:02:27.000 That was a good fucking time. 0.99

00:02:29.000 These guys dropped acid. 1.00

00:02:30.000 They were up in the... 1.00

00:02:32.000 They were up in the stands watching with big fucking smiles on their face. 0.99

00:02:35.000 I don't know when I found out that they dropped acid. 0.99

00:02:38.000 Did I find out at dinner?

00:02:39.000 I tweeted you during the UFC. Yeah, but I don't get tweets.

00:02:43.000 I mean, text.

00:02:44.000 Texted me.

00:02:44.000 You texted me.

00:02:45.000 Yeah, so that's how I found out.

00:02:46.000 Did I respond to you?

00:02:47.000 No, it was like the last half hour, right?

00:02:48.000 No, you looked.

00:02:49.000 You looked.

00:02:49.000 No, that's when you turned up, I thought.

00:02:51.000 I'm trying to have him waved at us.

00:02:52.000 Oh, okay.

00:02:53.000 Then I must have known.

00:02:54.000 You know, we're sitting in the drawer.

00:02:55.000 Ari came over one day, and we're talking about something.

00:02:58.000 All of a sudden, I go, it's going to be great this weekend.

00:03:00.000 And as I'm talking to him, I open up the drawer, and I go, Ari, look.

00:03:03.000 And there were seven hits of acid.

00:03:04.000 Ari, what if we drop the acid?

00:03:06.000 And he's like, oh, I don't know.

00:03:07.000 And I go, every time somebody gets hit, we'll feel it.

00:03:11.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:12.000 That was the original fucking plan at first. 0.99

00:03:15.000 So then we were like, well, what do you think about Red Band? 0.99

00:03:17.000 Well, we don't know. 0.99

00:03:18.000 Then we're saying, man, we should fucking dose him. 0.98

00:03:20.000 Yeah, maybe we gotta put on some popcorn. 0.99

00:03:21.000 We'll just take him for the run. 0.85

00:03:22.000 And then we said, nah, because I know it's hard.

00:03:25.000 He'll have 911. Fuck it. 1.00

00:03:26.000 He's my little brother. 1.00

00:03:28.000 Acid's a little different.

00:03:29.000 You don't want to dose somebody with acid.

00:03:31.000 I've made a decision just not to do it anymore in my life because I've gotten to a point where my brain, I just want to keep my brain a little bit together now.

00:03:38.000 A little bit together.

00:03:39.000 Stay stable.

00:03:39.000 Let me tell you something about this stuff.

00:03:41.000 This stuff is very mild.

00:03:43.000 That was kid stuff.

00:03:46.000 Yeah, well, if you took two hits and you were still being able to sit there, then it had to be shaking.

00:03:51.000 Very mild.

00:03:52.000 Very mild.

00:03:52.000 It came in spurts and bursts.

00:03:54.000 It was very nice.

00:03:55.000 Up down, up down. 1.00

00:03:55.000 The lights fucked with you. 1.00

00:03:57.000 What's his name? 1.00

00:03:58.000 Voice fucked with you from time to time. 1.00

00:04:00.000 Buffer. 1.00

00:04:01.000 Yeah.

00:04:01.000 He really vibrated you.

00:04:02.000 He's vibrated you.

00:04:04.000 And that video before the UFC starts.

00:04:06.000 Oh, that was powerful.

00:04:08.000 Yeah.

00:04:09.000 There was a part where Ari looked over and goes, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

00:04:14.000 It was.

00:04:15.000 They did a good job on that thing.

00:04:16.000 What was it?

00:04:18.000 The UFC video when it first starts where it's like...

00:04:21.000 They sent it to the Who, American Teenage Wasteland. 0.51

00:04:26.000 Bob O'Reilly singing the song.

00:04:29.000 Yeah, they sent all the beats, all the punches to the drum hits.

00:04:32.000 Yeah.

00:04:33.000 You realize how brilliant something is sometimes when you're high.

00:04:36.000 What is it about that?

00:04:37.000 Why do you have to get high to realize that?

00:04:40.000 I don't know. 0.96

00:04:40.000 It seems silly. 0.96

00:04:41.000 When you're sitting there and you're straight at a UFC and it starts, and we're on such a Zufa and all that shit, you feel it. 0.99

00:04:49.000 When we did the acid, it was a different fucking level. 0.99

00:04:52.000 We felt everything. 0.97

00:04:54.000 Isn't it funny how you go to movies, and if you go to the movies and you're on acid or on pot or anything, you could see bad acting.

00:05:01.000 Yeah, really easily.

00:05:02.000 That's why we watched Domino that night. 0.99

00:05:04.000 That's why we sat there and watched Domino with fucking Mickey Rourke and Cara Knightling. 1.00

00:05:09.000 And it was interesting. 0.99

00:05:10.000 It was interesting.

00:05:11.000 It was from a different angle, you're watching acting.

00:05:13.000 So I'm sorry, I interrupted you.

00:05:15.000 So what were you saying?

00:05:15.000 You were saying that you guys are there, you're on acid, and then Bob O'Reilly starts playing.

00:05:19.000 If you've never seen it, never been to a live UFC, it's really brilliant.

00:05:24.000 Whoever edited it, it's like some of the highlights of some of the greatest fights ever, and it's all put together to The Who.

00:05:29.000 It's one of the greatest videos humans have ever seen.

00:05:33.000 It's the perfect volume to rip you apart.

00:05:36.000 You can hear it, but it doesn't really bother you. 0.92

00:05:39.000 Dana and I were watching that the other day, and I go, dude, I think I've seen this a fucking thousand times, and I still love it.

00:05:46.000 I never stop watching it.

00:05:47.000 Love it.

00:05:48.000 If you're there live ten minutes before the UFC actually starts, you have to be in your seat.

00:05:52.000 It's so good, too.

00:05:54.000 Whoever did it, you can tell that guy loves fights.

00:05:57.000 He nailed it. 1.00

00:05:58.000 The perfect beats to the perfect fucking punches and kicks. 0.99

00:06:02.000 It gets you pumped up, definitely, man. 0.99

00:06:04.000 Dude, I'm telling you, it never wears out.

00:06:06.000 I've seen it hundreds of times.

00:06:08.000 I don't know how many times I've seen it.

00:06:10.000 I've seen it, I mean, every UFC start, I've done at least 100 UFCs.

00:06:13.000 And you're there.

00:06:14.000 You're not gone getting food when that's happening.

00:06:16.000 Yeah, because between spikes, between spike nights and regular UFCs, I think I've done over a hundred.

00:06:21.000 So I've been over a thousand fights.

00:06:22.000 Well, here's the best.

00:06:23.000 When you're there and you're tripping...

00:06:25.000 Like I said, when you're there as a civilian...

00:06:29.000 And all of a sudden it just goes from Bob O'Reilly and it locks down. 0.99

00:06:33.000 And all of a sudden you hear, and all of a sudden you just see a picture of Anderson Silva saying, when I go in that thing tonight, I'm going to knock his fucking mouth off. 0.99

00:06:41.000 Now, think about it on the acid. 0.99

00:06:43.000 Now his head just came out.

00:06:45.000 And I think it was Vito that said that came out first. 1.00

00:06:47.000 And it was just a fucking head talking along the streets. 1.00

00:06:50.000 I thought it was fucking Marlon Brando in Superman. 1.00

00:06:53.000 Remember when he had the fucking heads around him? 1.00

00:06:55.000 It was like, that's his fucking head. 1.00

00:06:59.000 You're going down to New York City, cocksucker. 1.00

00:07:01.000 And they were judging him, and it was just heads. 0.99

00:07:04.000 Well, that's the brilliance about it.

00:07:06.000 That at one point in the UFC, as a civilian, it just gets very dark.

00:07:10.000 And also, it's just the perfect timing.

00:07:12.000 Also, you see your head pop out and go, tonight, I'm going to take him, pound him, submission. 0.96

00:07:17.000 You're like... 0.99

00:07:17.000 The crowd goes nuts. 0.99

00:07:19.000 Yeah, you just go nuts.

00:07:20.000 And they keep showing little tidbits.

00:07:22.000 Then they show to Vidor.

00:07:23.000 Then they went to John Jones.

00:07:25.000 Then they went to Jake Ellensburg.

00:07:27.000 It was just so well done.

00:07:29.000 Every time I show a new fighter, the crowd explodes again.

00:07:32.000 And when you watch another sporting event now, it's so below that par.

00:07:36.000 I went to a Laker game last year against Wade Wade's team.

00:07:41.000 Miami Heat. 0.99

00:07:42.000 It was a fucking great game. 0.99

00:07:44.000 But there was a lot of lulls in it. 0.99

00:07:47.000 There's a lot of lows there.

00:07:48.000 At the UFC, even when Bruce Buffer says, do what you got to do. 0.99

00:07:52.000 Go for 22 fucking minutes. 0.99

00:07:54.000 You have a blast! 1.00

00:07:55.000 You go get a hot dog, right?

00:07:57.000 We argue. 1.00

00:07:57.000 Go get a fucking thing. 1.00

00:07:58.000 Go now! 1.00

00:07:59.000 Go now! 1.00

00:08:00.000 Have we up before the fucking game starts? 0.99

00:08:01.000 That's huge that they tell you. 1.00

00:08:03.000 Yeah!

00:08:04.000 That's courtesy!

00:08:05.000 And what that is, folks, for the folks that don't know, sometimes we have a certain amount of prelim cards, but then the main card starts at, say, like, 7 p.m.

00:08:13.000 And if the main card starts at 7 p.m., we have to have, if the prelims are all done...

00:08:18.000 Sometimes you've got 20 minutes before the fights are supposed to start.

00:08:20.000 So we don't start fights early.

00:08:21.000 We have to wait until pay-per-view starts.

00:08:23.000 Sometimes you get like five first-round knockouts in the early fights.

00:08:26.000 Yeah, and they're just like, ooh.

00:08:27.000 Yeah, and then we run out quick.

00:08:29.000 And it was weird because this particular UFC started off, I think, with Gabe Rudiger and whoever he fought.

00:08:35.000 And Paul Taylor.

00:08:36.000 And Paul Taylor, he got beat up fast. 0.99

00:08:38.000 And then Kingsley came out against Romero and hit him with violent gladiator fucking... 1.00

00:08:45.000 These! 1.00

00:08:46.000 To the body! 0.99

00:08:47.000 They were like fucking BAM! You could feel the thrust! 1.00

00:08:50.000 And again, as a civilian, you could feel the fucking kidney strikes! 1.00

00:08:55.000 I can't have the acid! 0.99

00:08:56.000 I remember finding myself like this and also I looked around and I had to adjust myself.

00:09:00.000 What's going on?

00:09:01.000 Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

00:09:03.000 Plus, you're watching Kingsbury even when you're not high.

00:09:06.000 That dude's a specimen.

00:09:08.000 Oh my god.

00:09:09.000 A specimen shredded. 0.99

00:09:10.000 He's got like a fucking solid 12-pack. 1.00

00:09:12.000 He's got a 12-pack on his back. 1.00

00:09:14.000 He's one of those dudes.

00:09:15.000 Like, you look at his back, there's all these crazy striations in there.

00:09:18.000 He was a super athlete.

00:09:19.000 He was a linebacker.

00:09:20.000 He was a linebacker. 1.00

00:09:21.000 Those fucking... 1.00

00:09:23.000 Football players, man, they're on another level. 1.00

00:09:25.000 It's another level of athleticism.

00:09:27.000 And Kingsbury smashed that dude.

00:09:29.000 He's one of those guys, every time you see him, it's like he's been training for three years.

00:09:33.000 You know, he makes these leaps in a couple of months.

00:09:35.000 Oh, really?

00:09:35.000 Yeah.

00:09:36.000 All those super athletes, man, the John Jones dudes, those guys, they make these giant leaps, you know?

00:09:41.000 There's some dudes that just get so good so quick.

00:09:44.000 When you watch Jon Jones, the first fight that he had, or even the fight with Stefan Bonner, yeah, he looked promising.

00:09:51.000 But Bonner made it to the distance.

00:09:53.000 I mean, he beat Bonner up and everything like that and did some wild stuff.

00:09:57.000 But people are like, wow, this kid's wild, he's unorthodox. 0.99

00:10:00.000 But then you see him now and you go, fuck, man, this kid is on another level. 0.99

00:10:04.000 Dude, the way he handled Brandon Vera. 0.99

00:10:07.000 I mean, his last fight just proved it. 0.99

00:10:10.000 Brian Bader's a fucking stud and he just manhandled that kid. 0.99

00:10:14.000 He was on top of him every time there was an exchange. 1.00

00:10:16.000 He was on top, controlling the position.

00:10:18.000 He was never remotely threatened.

00:10:20.000 And squeezing.

00:10:20.000 Yeah, that kid's a beast, man.

00:10:22.000 Ryan Bader is a fucking gorilla. 1.00

00:10:25.000 Dude, you just stand next to that guy. 1.00

00:10:26.000 He's one of the biggest 205ers out there. 0.98

00:10:28.000 And the fact that Jon Jones was able to handle him like that.

00:10:31.000 There was like a half second where there was like a scrum.

00:10:33.000 Like he tried to flip and didn't get him all the way over.

00:10:35.000 And then Jon Jones got out of that and it was done.

00:10:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:10:38.000 And John Jones has two brothers and both of them are fucking football player bad motherfuckers. 1.00

00:10:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:10:42.000 His whole family's got like super genes, you know? 1.00

00:10:45.000 When I was standing there that night, he had two brothers that are bigger than him.

00:10:48.000 I guess he has a baby brother or whatever.

00:10:50.000 In the 1975 NBA playoffs, one of those years, Darryl Dawkins, remember Darryl Dawkins?

00:10:56.000 He used to smash the backboards.

00:10:58.000 Right.

00:10:58.000 You know, he was 6'11", 290. I remember that.

00:11:01.000 And he got into a brawl with Maurice Lucas.

00:11:03.000 And all of a sudden they showed his family coming down from the stands.

00:11:07.000 And he had two brothers and his sister bigger than him.

00:11:09.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:11:10.000 And they were from fucking Florida. 1.00

00:11:11.000 You know, you were those motherfuckers. 1.00

00:11:13.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:11:13.000 They were just throwing security at Portland. 1.00

00:11:15.000 They're all nice white people up there in Portland. 1.00

00:11:18.000 These four fucking fucking people were just throwing them. 1.00

00:11:20.000 Just throwing them, dog. 1.00

00:11:22.000 Huge.

00:11:22.000 Six foot 11. 11. Jesus Christ.

00:11:25.000 With smashing fiberglass...

00:11:27.000 Yeah.

00:11:28.000 Yeah.

00:11:28.000 Unheard of before.

00:11:29.000 I remember.

00:11:29.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:11:30.000 He would hang on them, just crush them.

00:11:31.000 They were glass, weren't they?

00:11:33.000 They were breaking them.

00:11:34.000 Super reinforced.

00:11:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:36.000 That guy was fresh out of the jungle as a fuck. 1.00

00:11:38.000 What the hell? 1.00

00:11:39.000 What did they do back then? 0.74

00:11:40.000 What?

00:11:40.000 When the glass breaks?

00:11:42.000 Do they stop the game?

00:11:43.000 Stop the game.

00:11:43.000 They just roll it out and they roll another one out.

00:11:45.000 They get another one in. 0.98

00:11:45.000 Get the fuck out of it. 0.98

00:11:46.000 You get fined, yeah. 0.99

00:11:47.000 He got fined?

00:11:48.000 How much did he get fined?

00:11:49.000 I don't know, maybe 10 grand or something like that.

00:11:51.000 That's so worth it, though.

00:11:52.000 That's how we know about it.

00:11:53.000 You're a high life film.

00:11:55.000 Luckily, they don't all do that.

00:11:56.000 That would be so douchey if they all did it.

00:11:58.000 It's kind of a douchey move.

00:11:59.000 There's a way you can do it by accident.

00:12:01.000 You can do it by accident.

00:12:02.000 Shaq would just smash through it and he wouldn't be able to help. 0.70

00:12:04.000 There's something you can really try to break it.

00:12:06.000 Does Shaq smack him occasionally?

00:12:07.000 Yeah, but not on purpose. 0.99

00:12:09.000 He just fucking... 0.98

00:12:10.000 Brian, what's that crazy noise? 0.99

00:12:11.000 He's so hard down.

00:12:12.000 I'm looking into it.

00:12:13.000 Oh, okay.

00:12:14.000 He hasn't done it in a while, though.

00:12:15.000 He's so big, dude.

00:12:17.000 I met him a couple of times when I first met him at the UFC. He did an episode of Fear Factor with me, and he did the countdown.

00:12:23.000 You know, like, three, two, one, go!

00:12:26.000 You know, standing next to me, dude, it looked like...

00:12:29.000 It didn't even look like...

00:12:30.000 I mean, it looked like we were two totally different things.

00:12:33.000 We met him in Boston.

00:12:33.000 We ran into him at the hotel.

00:12:35.000 Oh, yeah, that's true.

00:12:35.000 He's giant.

00:12:36.000 He's so big, man. 0.99

00:12:38.000 He's so big, it's ridiculous. 0.99

00:12:39.000 I feel like a little child, you know? 0.79

00:12:41.000 Well, this dude, Darryl Dawkins, played for the Sixers, and he got traded to the Nets. 1.00

00:12:45.000 And when he moved to New Jersey, he got hooked on a fucking powder. 0.99

00:12:48.000 Did he really? 0.99

00:12:49.000 So the kid that would sell him the powder was the sneaker kid.

00:12:52.000 He was the ball kid on the nets at that time.

00:12:54.000 And this kid ran a tremendous scam because the players on contract, they'd take after every game, they'd put on new sneakers and they'd throw them away.

00:13:02.000 Really?

00:13:03.000 This kid would take every sneaker and take it into the city and sell it.

00:13:06.000 But one of his jobs as a ball boy was to get Darryl Dawkins powder.

00:13:09.000 That was it, Brian.

00:13:10.000 Whatever you did.

00:13:11.000 And we all met.

00:13:12.000 And I remember one night he took us to Daryl Dawkins' house. 0.99

00:13:14.000 Daryl Dawkins showed me a fucking Rolls Royce with a 14-month-fucking-carat dashboard. 0.99

00:13:20.000 No way. 1.00

00:13:21.000 A gold dashboard?

00:13:23.000 Bro, his dog was...

00:13:24.000 His daughter was a dog. 0.99

00:13:26.000 You have no fucking idea in those days. 1.00

00:13:28.000 Wow. 1.00

00:13:28.000 Then his wife died later on. 1.00

00:13:30.000 He came back for a couple years there.

00:13:32.000 I went over to his house like three times.

00:13:34.000 He lived in Seacawks, New Jersey.

00:13:36.000 Big pimping! 1.00

00:13:38.000 With the motherfucking 14-carat dashboard and shit. 1.00

00:13:42.000 Wow. 1.00

00:13:43.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:13:45.000 That is ridiculous, dog. 1.00

00:13:46.000 You gotta love it, though. 1.00

00:13:47.000 What is it about black people and shiny things? 1.00

00:13:50.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:13:50.000 They don't give a fuck, dog. 1.00

00:13:52.000 Don't live in a tent to have a fucking Rolls Royce with a 14. Their kids will starve. 1.00

00:13:57.000 As much as rock stars like to rock it and like to look badass, they don't go that deep.

00:14:02.000 They don't go diamonds.

00:14:03.000 I heard a theory on that. 0.61

00:14:04.000 It's that black people, rappers and stuff, they're just doing what they thought was rich when they were little. 1.00

00:14:10.000 So it's always them holding a bowl of sugar cereal and cars and hot booty women. 0.99

00:14:15.000 Yeah, but it's like, oh, this looks like rich stuff.

00:14:17.000 Rasheed Wallace got a urinal installed in his house.

00:14:20.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:14:21.000 That's probably a good move.

00:14:22.000 Especially one of those splashless.

00:14:24.000 Save water.

00:14:26.000 They have like a little disc, a little UFO you piss on.

00:14:29.000 Somehow or another, it goes somewhere.

00:14:31.000 You don't have to rinse it with water.

00:14:33.000 Yeah, that's like the latest eco thing.

00:14:35.000 But it's been rejected by plumbers.

00:14:37.000 Plumbers don't like it because it cuts back on the maintenance, so they try to say it's unsanitary.

00:14:41.000 But in actuality, the other ones are more unsanitary.

00:14:45.000 How weird is that?

00:14:46.000 Yeah.

00:14:46.000 There's been studies, Joe Diaz.

00:14:48.000 Studies on piss.

00:14:49.000 Let's talk about urine.

00:14:51.000 Let me tell you something.

00:14:51.000 When I was a kid in the first house, I moved into North Bergen, a nice big one.

00:14:55.000 We had a fucking bidet. 0.99

00:14:57.000 Really? 1.00

00:14:57.000 Did you really? 1.00

00:14:58.000 Yeah.

00:14:58.000 I had a bank in the show.

00:14:59.000 When I was about eight or nine or ten... 1.00

00:15:01.000 I used to go over there, take a shit in my mother's bathroom, turn the bidet on and hit you in the fucking face. 1.00

00:15:05.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:15:06.000 But then you put your little muffler on that bidet, you get that little hot water going.

00:15:10.000 That was the first time I ever had that little cranky in your little muffler.

00:15:14.000 But then you blast it hard. 1.00

00:15:15.000 Ooh, your asshole's spotless. 1.00

00:15:17.000 You could feel it shiny. 1.00

00:15:18.000 I was about 10. That's when my asshole used to shine. 1.00

00:15:21.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:15:22.000 I use my bidet for carrying magazines.

00:15:24.000 You don't use it, though?

00:15:26.000 You never wash your hands?

00:15:27.000 Yeah, I got one. 1.00

00:15:28.000 I would use that shit every day. 1.00

00:15:29.000 It's so much better than wetting toilet paper. 1.00

00:15:31.000 Oh, I know.

00:15:32.000 It just seems so bizarre.

00:15:33.000 I am so sick of sticking to a bidet.

00:15:34.000 Seems un-American.

00:15:35.000 Seems like giving in to the French. 0.98

00:15:36.000 What am I doing here?

00:15:38.000 I'm not supporting my own.

00:15:39.000 What am I doing here? 0.99

00:15:41.000 What a roll of goddamn toilet paper is not enough for you, Rogan. 0.99

00:15:44.000 I feel like I'm not supporting my own bidet. 1.00

00:15:46.000 No, I don't mind using toilet paper, but the bidet is nice to wash your ass in the middle of the day. 0.99

00:15:51.000 It seems like a lot of a commitment. 0.99

00:15:53.000 When you wipe your butt, it's like, well, yeah, I know it's still stinky and gross, but it's not that much of a commitment. 0.98

00:15:59.000 Well, I use baby wipes. 1.00

00:16:02.000 Have you ever been about to fuck? 1.00

00:16:02.000 I wipe my butt. 1.00

00:16:03.000 What? 0.98

The Joe Rogan Experience - February 15, 2011

Joe Rogan Experience #80 - Joey Diaz & Ari Shaffir

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