The Joe Rogan Experience - March 31, 2011


Joe Rogan Experience #94 - Joey Diaz (Part 1)


Episode Stats

Length

49 minutes

Words per Minute

219.98636

Word Count

10,816

Sentence Count

1,073

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary

In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys talk about the new song they're playing on the show, the recent earthquake near New York City, and the future of the Earth. They also talk about aliens and the moon landing. Joe also talks about how the moon is coming to Mars and how it's going to take over the earth. And they talk about what it's like to be a space junkie. This episode is sponsored by The Fleshlight. To get 15% off your first purchase using the code "ROGAN" at checkout, go to joeroganshow.net/shop and enter the code ROGAN at checkout to receive 15% of your purchase when you purchase your first box of the Fleshlight Box. You can't get more personalized than this! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used w/ permission from the creator. Joe Rogans Show and all rights reserved, no commercial use or use of the music used without permission. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! or wherever else you re listening to the show. Thank you for supporting the show and/or reviewing the show! Cheers, Joe and the crew at and the rest of the boys at . - Cheers! - The Rogans Podcast. -Jon and the Crew. Jon & the Crew - Jon Rogan (featuring , & the crew , and Jon Rogans and the band . (feat. ) is a big thank you! (and ) - , Jon AND And of course, we hope you enjoy the music from this episode, and we ll be back next week, ! We re back in 2020! and , we re going to be back in the next episode of with a new episode with coming in 2020. and we re back with some more of the new music from in , I hope you like it. & we ll talk about all the good vibes, and more! AND we ll see you next week! And we ll give you some more in 2020


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Just give me like a...
00:00:07.000 Right now?
00:00:07.000 We're on Ustream right now?
00:00:08.000 Oh my god.
00:00:10.000 We're live.
00:00:11.000 Ladies and gentlemen, the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
00:00:15.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link that says Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off.
00:00:22.000 Alright, and with that said, buckle up bitches.
00:00:25.000 Here we go.
00:00:26.000 Joe Diaz is in the motherfucking house.
00:00:28.000 Hell yeah!
00:00:57.000 A lot of people have been saying, you know, this song is just not befitting of such a fucking dynamic podcast.
00:01:03.000 Why you got some fucking fruity-tooty tunes playing there?
00:01:06.000 Why don't you got some...
00:01:07.000 Because we don't want...
00:01:08.000 First of all, we don't want the song to overshadow the show.
00:01:11.000 What if the song is better than the show?
00:01:12.000 And you're like, why don't you fuck stop talking and play some more of that groovy music you were just hitting me with?
00:01:19.000 Joe Diaz is in the motherfucking house, bitches.
00:01:22.000 What's up, baby?
00:01:23.000 That's all you need to know.
00:01:24.000 Forget about that goddamn opening music.
00:01:27.000 Don't be trippin'.
00:01:28.000 Shit.
00:01:28.000 Don't be trippin', people.
00:01:31.000 Don't get your shit together, kids.
00:01:33.000 The best is when somebody complains about that song and then they send you their, like, keyboard...
00:01:37.000 Oh...
00:01:38.000 They're songs of death.
00:01:40.000 And they'll send it to you a thousand times.
00:01:42.000 Just like Casey, you didn't get it the first 50,000 times when I sent it.
00:01:45.000 This is a new one.
00:01:46.000 I've put some echo to the drums.
00:01:48.000 It's a little bit different now.
00:01:49.000 That's great.
00:01:53.000 I'm ready to leave, Joe Diaz.
00:01:54.000 If this fucking earthquake comes, I'm gone, baby.
00:01:57.000 Back to the mountains with the full posse.
00:02:00.000 Load them up in the Lexus, leave everything behind, Hollabert.
00:02:04.000 What locations could still get hit in this country?
00:02:06.000 You got San Francisco, Oregon, California, Nashville.
00:02:10.000 What other points is the fault on that we...
00:02:12.000 Well, there's other faults.
00:02:13.000 There's a fault near New York.
00:02:14.000 Right, there's a fault near New York.
00:02:16.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of faults, man.
00:02:18.000 It's like, here's the deal, honestly.
00:02:19.000 We know what moves on a regular basis, but that doesn't preclude things from moving on a unique basis.
00:02:26.000 There could be some fucking new shit that happens anyway.
00:02:29.000 We don't have this shit wired.
00:02:30.000 We don't know what the hell's going on.
00:02:32.000 There's some recent study where these scientists are going to drill into the Earth's mantle all the way through to the fucking core.
00:02:38.000 They're trying to figure out how to do it.
00:02:40.000 They're like little kids.
00:02:42.000 It's like, well, we know we can't use a regular drill because it'll melt.
00:02:45.000 So they're trying to figure out how the fuck they're going to get a drill that drills all the way down to the mantle.
00:02:49.000 And you ask them, why?
00:02:50.000 What are you doing?
00:02:51.000 Is there leprechauns down there?
00:02:53.000 They're going to give you gold?
00:02:54.000 What's going on?
00:02:54.000 Is there aliens down there that are going to suck your dick?
00:02:56.000 What are you doing?
00:02:57.000 Why are you drilling down to the mantle?
00:02:59.000 Because people are silly fucks.
00:03:00.000 And we just want to see what's up.
00:03:02.000 We just want to see what's up.
00:03:03.000 We want to try.
00:03:04.000 Sometimes you've got to dig a hole to find something.
00:03:06.000 Yeah, but what the fuck, man?
00:03:07.000 What if they dig a hole through the Earth's mantle and the Earth becomes like a fucking balloon with a hole in it and just goes flying around the galaxy?
00:03:14.000 What if lava shoots out of it like a balloon?
00:03:17.000 You know how you blow up a balloon and you let it go?
00:03:20.000 How about that?
00:03:21.000 What if the Earth becomes like that?
00:03:22.000 Like a balloon that doesn't, is not tied off at the end.
00:03:26.000 And the Earth flies around the galaxy all fucking haphazardly like a balloon.
00:03:30.000 What if we find out the Earth is really made out of rubber?
00:03:34.000 This whole mantle and all this other bullshit, this is just outside the balloon.
00:03:38.000 This is like the decoration on the balloon.
00:03:39.000 But if you pop that motherfucker, it will just fly around.
00:03:44.000 Yeah, we slam into Jupiter and shit.
00:03:46.000 We slam into other planets.
00:03:48.000 That's just the most fucked up thing about space is that occasionally planets hit each other.
00:03:53.000 Goddamn, son.
00:03:54.000 Could you imagine what kind of chaos there would be in this world if we saw a planet coming our way?
00:04:00.000 If you saw Mars.
00:04:02.000 Like, for sure, Mars is coming.
00:04:04.000 It might take five years, but it's going to hit the Earth and we're fucked and there's not a goddamn thing we can do to stop it.
00:04:09.000 There it is.
00:04:10.000 You see it in the sky.
00:04:11.000 It gets a little bigger every night.
00:04:12.000 By the time it got real close, people would be losing their fucking minds.
00:04:17.000 It'd be a party.
00:04:18.000 It'd be fucking great.
00:04:19.000 It wouldn't be a party.
00:04:20.000 You know what it'd be like?
00:04:21.000 Oh, like Road Warrior with knives and stabbing people.
00:04:23.000 It would be like that scene in Event Horizon.
00:04:26.000 You remember that movie Event Horizon with Lawrence Fishburne?
00:04:29.000 You don't remember that?
00:04:30.000 Badass fucking science fiction movie.
00:04:32.000 Sam Shepard, and I think it's Sam Shepard, and Lawrence Fishburne, and it's about a spaceship that punches a hole through a wormhole.
00:04:40.000 They travel to a distant part in the galaxy by folding the space and time together like two pieces of paper, punching a hole through it and arriving on the other end.
00:04:50.000 But when they did that, they didn't realize that they actually went to hell.
00:04:55.000 So these guys get to this Event Horizon ship.
00:04:58.000 It comes back.
00:04:59.000 Everyone's dead.
00:05:00.000 And they get a video of the crew and the captain and everything.
00:05:04.000 They find out later in the movie what happened to them.
00:05:07.000 And they're pulling their own eyeballs out and screaming shit and laughing and killing each other and biting each other apart and cutting each other open.
00:05:14.000 That's what it's going to look like.
00:05:15.000 It's not going to be like, everyone's like, we're going to be fucking.
00:05:17.000 You're not going to be fucking, okay?
00:05:19.000 When there's Mars, it's like a hundred times bigger than the moon.
00:05:23.000 Would you kill yourself?
00:05:24.000 Maybe a thousand times.
00:05:25.000 I don't know what the fuck I would do.
00:05:26.000 I think I would fucking kill myself.
00:05:27.000 I would kill yourself.
00:05:29.000 I just close my fucking eyes and wish for the best.
00:05:31.000 I'm not tapping out that fucking easy.
00:05:33.000 Can you pull up that song, Dreamweaver?
00:05:35.000 Can you pull up that song right now?
00:05:37.000 You're not pulling that song up.
00:05:39.000 It's too early for that shit.
00:05:40.000 We gotta establish the show first.
00:05:42.000 You're gonna hit it with this game music and shit.
00:05:44.000 No, I wanna hear what you would do.
00:05:46.000 I wanna hear what you would do over that song.
00:05:48.000 No, I don't wanna do nothing.
00:05:49.000 First of all, that shit wouldn't happen in our time.
00:05:51.000 We got no fucking problems.
00:05:55.000 I just go home, stock up on some fucking herb, get some good books, and wait for the shit to drop.
00:06:01.000 What are you going to do?
00:06:02.000 You're going to get on the 405 with these fucking idiots?
00:06:05.000 What are you going to do, get on the 110?
00:06:06.000 Guys with helicopters will just be pissing in your head out of their helicopter laughing at you where you're stuck in this stupid grid.
00:06:13.000 There won't be no fucking helicopters.
00:06:14.000 There's haters in this fucking city.
00:06:16.000 They'll be shooting you down.
00:06:19.000 We're going, we're going, we're going.
00:06:22.000 It's going to be fucking chaos.
00:06:24.000 Yeah, you know, it's interesting.
00:06:25.000 People didn't really learn about human behavior from the Rodney King riots.
00:06:29.000 But that's what it should have taught you.
00:06:30.000 This is what's possible with something so simple as a verdict for someone who you don't even know, who you saw get beat up, and they let the cops go.
00:06:39.000 And these motherfuckers were going crazy, throwing rocks at white people, smashing their fucking...
00:06:45.000 And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:47.000 It was a racially charged issue.