The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #96 - Kevin Pereira

00:00:00.000 Ladies and gentlemen, the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.

00:00:09.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link that says Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off. 0.96

00:00:16.000 Alright, and with that said, buckle up, bitches. 1.00

00:00:23.000 The Joe Rogan Experience. 0.99

00:00:37.000 Brian thinks it's funny to keep playing that Black Eyes voice.

00:00:41.000 I actually totally forgot. 0.84

00:00:41.000 That fake black guy's voice. 0.84

00:00:43.000 It's much more offensive. 0.98

00:00:46.000 Before we get started, I think I have to say more about the Fleshlight.

00:00:49.000 I don't think that's a 15 second ad.

00:00:51.000 It's awesome.

00:00:51.000 I shoot loads into it.

00:00:53.000 I recommend you do the same.

00:00:54.000 Can I hop in on this?

00:00:55.000 Yes.

00:00:55.000 Kevin Pereira wants to shoot loads into a flashlight.

00:00:58.000 We're going to provide him with one.

00:00:59.000 I want to believe in a world where I can, but as I said, I get a wave of guilt and sin and filth that washes over me every time I climax, and I can't imagine saving that into a fleshy device that I then have to dishwasher.

00:01:12.000 It feels better, but it's more embarrassing.

00:01:14.000 Yeah.

00:01:15.000 And Kevin's brought wine.

00:01:16.000 We are gentlemen.

00:01:17.000 We are sophisticates here.

00:01:18.000 Cheers, mate.

00:01:19.000 Cheers.

00:01:20.000 Cheers.

00:01:21.000 This is, I mean, we have wine, coconut water, and coffee.

00:01:23.000 Yeah, we have coffee, and we're stoned.

00:01:25.000 And, you know, I don't, um, there's a thing, I don't have a lot of obsessive compulsive shit, but one thing I have is if you're making a toast, you gotta click glasses with everybody. 0.78

00:01:34.000 Have to, yes. 0.73

00:01:35.000 Yeah, what is this, like, sort of half-assed gesture that some people don't want to lean across the table? 1.00

00:01:40.000 Listen, you lazy bitch, are we all in this together or what? 1.00

00:01:43.000 We gotta click glasses. 1.00

00:01:44.000 And you have to tap it on the table first before you drink it.

00:01:47.000 Oh really?

00:01:48.000 You do?

00:01:48.000 What's that about?

00:01:49.000 It's like a no-tag-back thing.

00:01:50.000 You just have to do it.

00:01:51.000 I've never done that.

00:01:52.000 Does that signify I'm done?

00:01:53.000 My glass is in?

00:01:54.000 Yes.

00:01:55.000 My whole life I've done them wrong.

00:01:57.000 You've been sending mixed messages to people.

00:01:58.000 You could be getting in fights and not know it.

00:02:00.000 This is like a jiu-jitsu technique where you realize you couldn't finish it.

00:02:02.000 All you had to do was just one little thing.

00:02:04.000 One little thing different.

00:02:05.000 I didn't click my... 0.99

00:02:06.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:02:07.000 Gentlemen, here's the mulligans. 0.99

00:02:08.000 Cheers.

00:02:09.000 Yes, mulligans.

00:02:09.000 I don't even know what that means.

00:02:11.000 It's a do-over.

00:02:12.000 What is a mulligan?

00:02:12.000 It's a do-over.

00:02:13.000 I never played golf.

00:02:14.000 Did you tap?

00:02:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:18.000 I never tap.

00:02:20.000 He never taps. 1.00

00:02:21.000 I ain't tapping, bitch. 1.00

00:02:23.000 Out of all the douchey t-shirts I've ever seen related to mixed martial arts, one of them was tap or snap. 0.99

00:02:30.000 It's up to you.

00:02:32.000 MMA fashion has got to evolve, man.

00:02:34.000 How many wolves and skeletons and chains can you wear around your neck before you're asking to get in a fight?

00:02:40.000 Dude, I got this new company that's about to break off. 1.00

00:02:42.000 It's called Break My Dick Off in Your Ass Fight Gear. 1.00

00:02:45.000 This is the fucking... 1.00

00:02:48.000 The logo's a dragon, fucking a pit bull in the ass, covered in glitter. 1.00

00:02:53.000 Bro, I need to get you and Dana Whiten on this. 1.00

00:02:56.000 Dude, have you got the new tank top by Two Knuckles Deep?

00:02:58.000 Oh.

00:02:59.000 It's so good.

00:02:59.000 The moment you go two knuckles deep, man, you're going to tap.

00:03:02.000 It's a new technique, all the kinds of two knuckles. 1.00

00:03:04.000 God damn. 0.99

00:03:05.000 St. Pierre has been training pretty mad. 1.00

00:03:08.000 Really?

00:03:08.000 I did not know that.

00:03:08.000 Yeah, he can get three knuckles.

00:03:09.000 Wow, that's incredible.

00:03:12.000 But then again, Belladonna's only 100 pounds and she can get a baseball bat. 1.00

00:03:15.000 That is true.

00:03:16.000 God bless her. 1.00

00:03:17.000 What the fuck is that all about? 0.99

00:03:18.000 That should be an Olympic sport. 0.99

00:03:19.000 Gaping should absolutely be a sport.

00:03:21.000 Or spitting in the gaping hole, like a basketball type thing for accuracy.

00:03:25.000 That's hard to do, especially when you have a chest cold because it sticks to everything.

00:03:29.000 None of this existed when I was a child.

00:03:31.000 No, it did, just I don't think people knew about it.

00:03:33.000 Do you think it did? 1.00

00:03:34.000 Do you think there was a lot of assholes stretching and spitting in assholes? 0.99

00:03:37.000 Yeah, if we had flip cams back in the 1800s, you'd see Victorian caping. 1.00

00:03:41.000 It's probably worse.

00:03:42.000 There's some of it that's so bad, like that guy, that Max Hardcore guy, he went to jail for it.

00:03:48.000 I mean, you've got to do something really fucking creepy for them to be wanting to lock you up in jail in 2011 or 10, whether.

00:03:55.000 Maybe it was even 9 for porn. 0.98

00:03:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:57.000 But this fucking guy, man, he was opening girls' assholes up with, like, speculums. 1.00

00:04:03.000 Is that what it's called? 1.00

00:04:04.000 Whatever medical instrument, little thing that you stretch it apart with.

00:04:07.000 Vice grip?

00:04:07.000 I don't know.

00:04:07.000 And then peeing in there and then making girls drinking out with a straw, allegedly.

00:04:13.000 They were talking about this.

00:04:14.000 Sal was talking about this on the Stern Show.

00:04:16.000 I don't know if it's true.

00:04:17.000 But if it is true, I don't doubt it.

00:04:18.000 I don't doubt it. 1.00

00:04:19.000 I've seen a lot of this shit. 0.99

00:04:20.000 But see, I was seeing shit back in the bulletin board dial-up days when I was like 9, 10 years old, which explains a lot. 1.00

00:04:25.000 I've been desensitized since then. 0.98

00:04:27.000 Like the Russian soldier putting his foot on a head and cutting a neck open and going, oh, it would be steamy because it was cold outside. 1.00

00:04:33.000 Like that analysis of fucked up shit at the age of 9 or 10. So I believe it was all out there. 1.00

00:04:37.000 But what I don't get are how girls are making money off of non-porn because guys are sexually objectified by it. 0.71

00:04:44.000 Like the crushers that will crush a cell phone with a heel or pump a gas pedal on a car. 1.00

00:04:49.000 There's a lot of fucked up dudes out there. 1.00

00:04:50.000 They can get – I mean we do a what the fuck segment on our show where it's like girls that get in pools wearing jean jackets. 1.00

00:04:56.000 And they make like $30 a month off of subscriptions because some dude is like, oh, look at that denim getting wet. 0.99

00:05:01.000 Oh, mommy would have spanked me. 1.00

00:05:04.000 Now I gotta clean my fleshlight.

00:05:05.000 Or the Minion.

00:05:06.000 Have you ever seen the Minion? 1.00

00:05:07.000 It's like a website, we've talked about this before, where this crazy, ugly, nasty, fat guy just fucks these hot porn stars. 1.00

00:05:12.000 But who wants... 1.00

00:05:13.000 I mean, I can see where it's kind of cool.

00:05:15.000 I forgot about this one.

00:05:17.000 But who wants to subscribe to that guy?

00:05:19.000 Well, that was always the charm of Ron Jeremy, right?

00:05:22.000 Right.

00:05:22.000 Not all the time.

00:05:23.000 In the beginning it wasn't.

00:05:25.000 In the beginning it was sort of a normal looking guy, but then it became hideous.

00:05:28.000 It took time, but clearly he's in the hideous realm.

00:05:31.000 Everyone goes bad eventually. 1.00

00:05:34.000 He's fucking hideous. 1.00

00:05:35.000 That's part of the charm. 0.99

00:05:37.000 There's something about the internet man and technology in general that has accelerated porn and accelerated depravity and decadence into really fucking intense levels that have never existed before.

00:05:50.000 At first it was seen as this bastion of hope that was going to elevate discussion and bring intellectuals together and further everything.

00:05:56.000 It has done that to an extent. 0.79

00:05:58.000 But it's really just created hardcore porn.

00:06:01.000 Like, really hardcore porn.

00:06:02.000 I think the thing is, I think it's going to change young people. 1.00

00:06:05.000 For good or bad, and probably both. 0.98

00:06:07.000 But I think once you're old and you already have a pattern set in your head, it's way easier to just jerk off to more and more fucked up shit than it is to look at the latest findings on hypernovas or look deep into the real possibilities created by the Large Hadron Collider. 0.99

00:06:25.000 That's too much, man. 1.00

00:06:26.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:06:27.000 No, Pink Clap. 1.00

00:06:27.000 That's where I'm going. 1.00

00:06:28.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:06:29.000 I want to watch some guy shit in some chick's mouth because I can't. 1.00

00:06:32.000 You know? 1.00

00:06:32.000 I mean, there's guys that, like, they're so angry at women, they want to shit in their mouth. 1.00

00:06:36.000 Like, you fucking bitch, you fucking... 1.00

00:06:39.000 What could she have done? 1.00

00:06:41.000 Just exist and be unattainable.

00:06:44.000 That's what it is.

00:06:45.000 That's mom issues, right? 1.00

00:06:47.000 Dude, there's a lot of weak bitches out there. 1.00

00:06:49.000 That's what it is. 1.00

00:06:50.000 Mom issues are not.

00:06:52.000 Look at the whole world around you.

00:06:54.000 Make an assessment.

00:06:56.000 Go on your instincts.

00:06:57.000 What is positive?

00:06:58.000 What is negative?

00:06:58.000 What is admirable?

00:06:59.000 What makes you jealous?

00:07:00.000 Go towards that.

00:07:02.000 And I always say, aspire to be the man that you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.

00:07:07.000 Okay?

00:07:07.000 Aspire to be that guy, for real.

00:07:08.000 Actually become that guy.

00:07:09.000 You don't have to use your mama's issues and all that stuff. 1.00

00:07:12.000 Get your shit together, bitch. 1.00

00:07:14.000 See, that's why I got an M3, because I want to be the guy that doesn't need a personality. 1.00

00:07:17.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:07:17.000 I want to be the guy that says, look, are you moist yet?

00:07:19.000 Fantastic. 1.00

00:07:20.000 Plus, they're the shit, and they handle awesome. 1.00

00:07:22.000 Ah, such good. 1.00

00:07:24.000 I love cars, man.

00:07:26.000 I'm so fascinated by the engineering that I couldn't possibly be responsible for myself. 0.88

00:07:31.000 I look at something like a M3 or something like that, I think about all the fucking shit that's involved, all the different settings, the M setting, and all of a sudden the suspension changes, you feel it sticking. 0.99

00:07:40.000 Set a macro for your car and all of a sudden it's like the car is sucking you by the asshole and just holding you down the road. 1.00

00:07:45.000 Just the engineering. 1.00

00:07:47.000 I believe that there's 30 German engineers that shed a single tear whenever I put the top down.

00:07:51.000 I believe they're so proud of their work and the time and all the effort that went into making a piece of plastic fold.

00:07:56.000 I believe that they're crying about it.

00:07:58.000 I love that.

00:07:58.000 That's not plastic.

00:07:59.000 That's one of the coolest things about the top of the M3 convertible.

00:08:05.000 It's all one piece in metal.

00:08:06.000 That's like the coolest thing that they figured out how to do recently.

00:08:08.000 It's like a transform.

00:08:09.000 It goes into like three little sections.

00:08:10.000 You have two sections in the window.

00:08:11.000 It's dope. 0.55

00:08:12.000 Have you ever seen it?

00:08:12.000 Watch when he does it.

00:08:13.000 It's amazing.

00:08:14.000 It's like an orchestration of mechanical engineering.

00:08:18.000 It's beautiful.

00:08:18.000 But doesn't that break easily?

00:08:20.000 Isn't there like, oh, it's just more shit, more moving parts. 0.99

00:08:24.000 Yeah, but that's my life. 0.99

00:08:26.000 That's everybody's life now, right? 1.00

00:08:27.000 We get more shit so that it can break, so that we can get pissed that it's shit. 1.00

00:08:30.000 It's amazing how reliable those things are. 1.00

00:08:33.000 The most unreliable car I ever had was a Porsche.

00:08:36.000 I had a 911 Turbo that broke down five times. 0.62

00:08:38.000 It was ridiculous.

00:08:39.000 But BMWs, I've never had a problem.

00:08:41.000 Japanese cars, I've never had a problem.

00:08:43.000 It's amazing how many miles you can put on a car these days and there's no problem.

00:08:47.000 Back when you had a 1970 Barracuda or something like that, 100,000 miles, that thing's done. 0.99

00:08:53.000 All right, you get bearings are blown and fucking transmission is gone, some missing gears and the engine smells like shit. 0.98

00:09:00.000 I mean, you have to rebuild everything. 0.99

00:09:02.000 Dude, those things just didn't last.

00:09:03.000 Remember those Supras we had with the lights that popped up and did one of yours break?

00:09:07.000 No, I didn't have that one.

00:09:09.000 I had the one with the fixed, I had a 92 or 93 Toyota Supra.

00:09:14.000 When they went to that space shape, that was the first really cool car that I got.

00:09:18.000 That was my news radio money. 0.99

00:09:20.000 But something about the engineering of these fucking cars, that's accelerated as well. 0.99

00:09:28.000 This M3 that I have is 420 horsepower. 0.99

00:09:31.000 Well, the 911 turbo that I had was somewhere around the same, like 420 horsepower.

00:09:36.000 But it was all turbocharged.

00:09:38.000 Right, all tweaked out.

00:09:39.000 Yeah, and it's a different sort of a feeling.

00:09:41.000 Well, this car is that with a full V8 with an 84,000 RPM, you know, rev limit. 0.97

00:09:46.000 I mean, it's fucking incredible. 0.96

00:09:48.000 Is it 84,000 or 8,400? 0.98

00:09:50.000 8,400.

00:09:50.000 Yeah.

00:09:51.000 But when it hits 8,400, man, that whale, it's like a Formula One race car.

00:09:55.000 It sounds awesome.

00:09:56.000 Have you done launch control yet?

00:09:57.000 No.

00:09:57.000 That sounds like it's going to kill the transmission.

00:09:59.000 Yeah.

00:09:59.000 Nah, if you warm your engine up, you have to drive for X amount of miles at certain speeds or whatnot.

00:10:03.000 You can drop it into first, shut off traction control, and if you hold one of the shifter paddles in, or you put it in neutral, slam on the gas while holding a shifter paddle, a checkered flag will appear on the dash.

00:10:14.000 There's Easter eggs?

00:10:15.000 Yeah, no, there's total Easter eggs in the software.

00:10:17.000 And then you can use your cruise control actual controls to boost up the RPM, so when you let go, it engages that clutch when you're already at 7,000, 8,000 RPM. Screams.

00:10:27.000 And you'll break your neck. 0.98

00:10:29.000 That's That's badass. 0.95

00:10:30.000 How did you find out about that?

00:10:31.000 Internets?

00:10:31.000 Oh, it's pretty common.

00:10:33.000 It's common.

00:10:34.000 The Nissans actually did it for their GTR, and when people used it, it violated the warranty.

00:10:39.000 What?

00:10:40.000 They say with BMW, if you do it over twice, apparently it counts how many times you do it.

00:10:44.000 It violates your warranty, too.

00:10:45.000 Wow, that's funny. 0.94

00:10:46.000 That's ridiculous. 0.99

00:10:47.000 Make a better thing. 1.00

00:10:49.000 Don't give me something that breaks, stupid. 1.00

00:10:50.000 But the Nissan one was particularly ridiculous because it's a goddamn race car. 1.00

00:10:54.000 I mean, what Nissan was bragging about was their 0-60 time was ridiculously low, and the handling of the car is insane. 1.00

00:11:01.000 It's a fucking amazing car. 0.95

00:11:03.000 I drove it, but there's something about it. 0.99

00:11:05.000 It's like, yeah, it's really fast, and yeah, but it's ugly.

00:11:09.000 It's goofy looking.

00:11:10.000 It's like...

00:11:11.000 It's got some sort of a techno-Godzilla thing going on that I'm not really into.

00:11:15.000 It stands out too much.

00:11:17.000 If a Ferrari stands out, it stands out, but it stands out.

00:11:21.000 It's beautiful.

00:11:22.000 That car stands out.

00:11:24.000 What's going on?

00:11:24.000 Smart cars stand out because they look like baby sneakers on wheels.

00:11:27.000 It's not a good standout.

00:11:28.000 It's an odd standout.

00:11:31.000 I tried to like it.

00:11:32.000 I looked around it and stared at it.

00:11:34.000 I tried to like it.

00:11:35.000 But the engineering, though, is stunning.

00:11:39.000 Well, what about electric cars like the Tesla?

00:11:41.000 They're not ready.

00:11:42.000 I'm interested in them eventually, but I'm not interested in something that you have to charge for 18 hours after you drive 250. That's stupid. 0.99

00:11:49.000 I'm interested in the gallons, though. 1.00

00:11:50.000 I get 15 gallons of gas per...

00:11:53.000 You have a big truck. 1.00

00:11:54.000 I know, but that shit's... 1.00

00:11:55.000 It's gross. 1.00

00:11:55.000 Yeah, it's disgusting. 1.00

00:11:56.000 Well, it makes you mad when it starts hitting 430. I mean, what is it now?

00:12:00.000 420 for regular.

00:12:01.000 Yeah, premium is like, I think, 450 at Chevron.

00:12:04.000 But my point was about the BMW is that what's really shocking is how much better engineered they are just over a few years ago.

00:12:11.000 Like compared to my Supra, like the Supra was a really good handling car. 0.99

00:12:15.000 But this M3 is like glued to the fucking ground. 0.99

00:12:18.000 I love it. 0.99

00:12:19.000 It's like it's on track.

00:12:20.000 It's the first nice car that I've ever had in my life.

00:12:21.000 And it's like you turn the wheel and the car just goes.

00:12:24.000 It doesn't ask questions.

00:12:25.000 It's so connected to the road.

00:12:27.000 It's so like, what's the word?

00:12:30.000 I mean, precise.

00:12:31.000 You know, like the way it handles and moves.

00:12:34.000 The Germans are known for their precision. 1.00

00:12:36.000 And shit in the mouth videos. 1.00

00:12:38.000 They're known for a lot of that, too. 1.00

00:12:39.000 What's up with that?

00:12:40.000 Why are the Germans into those scat videos? 1.00

00:12:42.000 Germans and Japanese.

00:12:43.000 You can't point fingers now with the internet.

00:12:45.000 Everybody's into everything.

00:12:48.000 Wasn't that the root?

00:12:49.000 I mean, behind every stereotype.

00:12:50.000 Well, they just had an awesome word for it.

00:12:52.000 Is that what it was?

00:12:53.000 Scheiser! 0.58

00:12:53.000 Scheiser? 0.58

00:12:54.000 German Scheiser porn. 0.99

00:12:55.000 Wow. 0.96

00:12:55.000 And who wouldn't like to yell that? 0.96

00:12:56.000 Scheiser is shit? 1.00

00:12:57.000 That's what it is. 1.00

00:12:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:58.000 Scheiser is shit? 1.00

00:12:59.000 They had a good word. 1.00

00:13:00.000 I don't know if Scheiser itself is or if that's just an exclamation you'd make when you're actually crapping on someone, but...

00:13:05.000 Wow.

00:13:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:06.000 Yeah, enough that they had to fucking label it. 0.99

00:13:09.000 So often, like, there's one porn when a guy shits in his mouth. 1.00

00:13:12.000 Oh, no, no, no. 0.99

00:13:12.000 We have a whole category of that. 0.99

00:13:14.000 Yeah.

00:13:14.000 What?

00:13:15.000 A guy shits on someone's mouth and there's a category? 1.00

00:13:17.000 That's what people are into? 1.00

00:13:18.000 Yeah.

00:13:19.000 Well, where else do you put it on the shelf at the adult video store, you know?

00:13:23.000 Yeah, there is no more of those.

00:13:24.000 They still exist.

00:13:25.000 Do they exist? 0.55

00:13:25.000 I went to a sex shop the other day, just a lube run, run of the mill. 0.55

00:13:30.000 I feel like we should be hearing music. 0.69

00:13:32.000 Why don't you just go to Albertsons?

00:13:33.000 People were there.

00:13:35.000 Special taste.

00:13:36.000 No, but this guy comes up to the counter and he buys a card.

00:13:39.000 He's like, I'd like $5 in the booth.

00:13:42.000 And a dude went and got a plastic card and they had a whole adult video arcade back there.

00:13:47.000 And I saw at least 10 different people come in in the short time that I was there to buy video cards to go in the back.

00:13:52.000 And beat off.

00:13:53.000 Wow.

00:13:54.000 Maybe there was something way cooler.

00:13:55.000 Maybe there was the glory hole action or maybe it was a unicorn ride.

00:13:58.000 I don't know what was happening back there. 1.00

00:14:00.000 Maybe there was some crazy shit going on. 0.99

00:14:02.000 My friend Johnny, God rest his soul, used to go to New York. 1.00

00:14:05.000 He's an addict and he used to smoke crack and go to those peep shows.

00:14:09.000 That was his thing.

00:14:10.000 When he would smoke crack, he would want to go hide and go to peep shows and hide in those places all day and just give the girl money. 1.00

00:14:16.000 He would tell me these horror stories about what kind of women are on the other side, showing you their asshole. 1.00

00:14:20.000 Do you think girls are in those glass boxes behind that hotel where they have a girl in the glass box behind the checkout that's on Sunset? 1.00

00:14:29.000 Have you ever seen that?

00:14:30.000 Yes.

00:14:31.000 I know what you're talking about.

00:14:33.000 Do you think that's like the upgraded version of the peep show girls?

00:14:37.000 Like, oh my god, they fight with each other.

00:14:39.000 I'm working the box at the Standard this weekend.

00:14:40.000 For people that don't know what we're talking about, when you go to the Standard, as you go into the lobby, the Standard Hotel in Hollywood has the desk where they check you in, and above the desk, there's like a fish tank, like a big fish tank with a woman in it.

00:14:52.000 And she's hot, and she's in her underwear, and she's reading a book. 0.72

00:14:56.000 Or she's checking her email.

00:14:57.000 It's weird.

00:14:58.000 Yeah, and she's not supposed to interact with you. 0.90

00:15:00.000 They don't look at you and smile and wave because that would be so anti-LA. Right.

00:15:05.000 In LA, no one pays attention to you.

00:15:06.000 It's not like she's there to greet you.

00:15:08.000 Like in Vegas, if they were going to hire a hot chick, they'd hire you. 1.00

00:15:10.000 Hello, welcome to the casino.

00:15:12.000 Nice to meet you.

00:15:13.000 Do you need help with your bags?

00:15:13.000 Yeah, in LA, she's in her underwear reading her email and you're like looking at her.

00:15:17.000 I was with Doug Benson in Vegas and they had one of those same things, but the girls were so excited to see Doug Benson.

00:15:23.000 They got out of character and got out of the glass box to take a photo with him.

00:15:27.000 Powerful blood of Benson.

00:15:28.000 Did that end with Benson in the box?

00:15:30.000 Shaking it for people?

00:15:31.000 Making out.

00:15:32.000 Oh, glassy-eyed.

00:15:34.000 Bone in.

00:15:35.000 I love that, dude.

00:15:35.000 I'm so jealous and envious of people that can perform while stoned.

00:15:38.000 Listen, you're stoned right now.

00:15:39.000 Stop lying.

00:15:40.000 Allegedly.

00:15:40.000 Stop lying to those people.

00:15:42.000 Allegedly.

00:15:42.000 It's all alleged.

00:15:42.000 Stop lying to America.

00:15:44.000 You know, you said something in your Twitter when you were tweeting about coming here that you were worried about ruining your career.

00:15:50.000 I thought that was hilarious.

00:15:51.000 Not worried.

00:15:51.000 I was excited by the possibility of it.

00:15:53.000 I'm ruining.

00:15:54.000 Not my current.

00:15:55.000 I'm sorry I said it negatively.

00:15:57.000 I could get pretty much caught doing whatever I need to on G4. The audience gets it.

00:16:01.000 They're all young dudes too.

00:16:03.000 But I'm on the precipice of either homelessness or potentially legitimizing myself.

00:16:09.000 This might be a nudge in one direction.

00:16:11.000 You think so, man?

00:16:12.000 I think it's a nudge towards the right direction.

00:16:14.000 I have always said that if I can't say or do something that I want to do, I'm in the wrong business.

00:16:20.000 Or I'm doing the wrong show.

00:16:22.000 You can back yourself into a corner and not even realize it's happening.

00:16:26.000 You get on a certain show and that certain show wants a certain standard of behavior.

00:16:30.000 There's a reason why Charlie Sheen is bouncing back like this.

00:16:33.000 He's like a girl that's been molested.

00:16:35.000 A girl that's been molested, they bounce back in the other way. 0.94

00:16:37.000 No, it's not that he's a victim.

00:16:39.000 It's like when you do something that you don't want to do and you have to pretend to be someone you're not.

00:16:44.000 When you get pushed in one way, there's an elasticity to life, and it makes you bounce in the other way.

00:16:49.000 We were talking to Dana D'Armand, and she was talking about her family.

00:16:53.000 It was like, hey, smoke pot, do whatever you want, but don't drink. 0.99

00:16:55.000 So I fucking drank. 0.99

00:16:57.000 You push someone in one direction, you're too controlling in one direction, and they rebel. 1.00

00:17:02.000 No, I agree.

00:17:03.000 I agree.

00:17:03.000 And like I said, if I can't say or do – I've absolutely lost endorsement deals.

00:17:10.000 I've lost all sorts of stuff from I'm not going to say that.

00:17:12.000 I'm not going to do that.

00:17:13.000 And while it may have cost me short term, I think long term is the way to go.

00:17:15.000 So if we're talking about Shizer porn and BMWs – So be it. 1.00

00:17:19.000 Cheers.

00:17:20.000 It's just a matter of time before there is no more sensors and standards and all that nonsense. 0.99

00:17:24.000 Like the internet has pretty much kind of squashed a good huge chunk of that shit. 0.99

00:17:29.000 I worry. 0.98

00:17:30.000 You could put your content out.

00:17:31.000 Yeah, I worry about that ending at some point too.

00:17:34.000 Yeah, me too.

00:17:34.000 I really do.

00:17:34.000 Especially as the notion of IPTV, internet TV, and we'll get to the Google thing probably at some point.

00:17:39.000 But the notion that the distribution method, the way you're getting the content is going to matter in five years, it's not.

00:17:46.000 So when people turn on the TV and they're watching the internet, there's going to be calls for regulations and clampdowns just the way there is.

00:17:52.000 You'll still be able to self-distribute, always.

00:17:54.000 That avenue will be there to an extent.

00:17:55.000 Well, there's no regulation on cable.

00:17:58.000 Cable is not regulated by the FCC. Yeah, but then if you don't use advertisers, isn't that what motivates it?

00:18:05.000 It's very difficult. 0.96

00:18:05.000 It's going to be very difficult to rationalize imposing some sort of standards without something really fucked up happening. 0.96

00:18:11.000 And that's what you really have to worry about. 0.99

00:18:13.000 And this is fucking tinfoil hat conspiracy theory 101, okay? 1.00

00:18:17.000 It sounds absolutely ridiculous. 0.99

00:18:18.000 But if you were the government and you realized that, hey, look, what have all these rebellions all across the world have in common?

00:18:25.000 Well, they have in common these people organized on the internet in a way that was never possible before.

00:18:29.000 Hmm.

00:18:30.000 Okay, how do we stop that from happening?

00:18:32.000 Well, we have to figure out a way that the internet's evil.

00:18:34.000 And so then the internet gets used for something or blamed for something, and there's some sort of a terrorist attack that was coordinated by the internet.

00:18:42.000 Okay, there is a way around this, and you can still enjoy your internet, but now you have to log in.

00:18:47.000 I mean, there's been legislation proposed, the internet kill switch, which people were talking about, like mad.

00:18:51.000 And it was actually right before Egypt happened.

00:18:53.000 And then they actually discussed it right as Egypt was happening.

00:18:56.000 The main revolt.

00:18:57.000 The notion that, oh, it's for your safety, security, there's something going on.

00:19:00.000 This switch is now flipped and there goes your internet.

00:19:02.000 We have no idea how much of crises and political overthrowing of governors and, you know... 1.00

00:19:11.000 Fucking warlords and mayors. 1.00

00:19:14.000 We have no idea how much of this shit is engineered. 1.00

00:19:17.000 How much of foreign dictators, they're getting overthrown, is engineered. 1.00

00:19:21.000 And engineered by the CIA. General Wesley Clark was talking about this.

00:19:24.000 There's a video that I was watching.

00:19:25.000 I put it on my Twitter a couple of days ago.

00:19:27.000 But he was talking in 2007, okay, in detail about the plans that are in place to overthrow dictatorships throughout the world, including Libya.

00:19:38.000 Yeah, Gaddafi was...

00:19:39.000 Yeah, one of them.

00:19:40.000 But see, they were supporting Gaddafi up until that bitter end, and then they said, okay, now we're going to arm the rebels.

00:19:44.000 Yeah.

00:19:44.000 You know, so that they could eventually become al-Qaeda and hate us as well once they get into power.

00:19:47.000 The whole thing is completely ridiculous. 0.81

00:19:49.000 But our reputation squandered.

00:19:52.000 It's gone.

00:19:52.000 Wasn't there a point in time?

00:19:53.000 I remember being younger and being told USA number one and believing that, okay, that's what the world thought.

00:19:58.000 They all aspired.

00:19:59.000 But now?

00:19:59.000 Now we're a bunch of scared old men.

00:20:01.000 A bunch of scared old men that want to keep everybody down. 1.00

00:20:04.000 That's what it seems like. 0.99

00:20:05.000 This whole country seems like a bunch of meddling fucks when it comes to the rest of the world. 0.97

00:20:11.000 If I wasn't American and I didn't know that most of us here are as much victims as the people around the world, it's just not happening to us physically. 0.98

00:20:19.000 We're just as taken apart by this machine and pushed into a direction outside of our control.

00:20:24.000 It's not like we want this to happen.

00:20:25.000 The disparity between rich and poor in this country is far greater than the disparity of rich and poor in many Middle Eastern places.

00:20:31.000 Well, yeah, man.

00:20:32.000 Listen, we can't get started on that again.

00:20:33.000 I'll go on an Inside Job rampage about the financial institution. 0.99

00:20:38.000 Let's talk about fucking into socks. 0.99

00:20:39.000 Let's talk about anything else. 1.00

00:20:41.000 Let's talk about Google TV. I watched Inside Job the other day.

00:20:43.000 Oh, Inside Job.

00:20:44.000 Steven.

00:20:44.000 Have you seen it?

00:20:45.000 Yes.

00:20:46.000 It's mind-numbing.

00:20:46.000 It's also brutal.

00:20:47.000 What we've done financially is the same thing we're doing with other parts of the world as far as with resources and invading countries and dominating things.

00:20:58.000 We're doing things with no regard whatsoever to the consequences and no regard whatsoever in how we're viewed.

00:21:06.000 And that's the thing about this inside job.

00:21:08.000 All these guys... 0.98

00:21:09.000 Didn't have any problem walking away with hundreds of millions of dollars and looking absolutely ridiculous, looking horrible. 0.94

00:21:15.000 If they can get away with it, they're going to do it. 0.99

00:21:17.000 And that's exactly the same shit that's happening with America in these other parts of the world. 0.98

00:21:23.000 What's going on in Iraq where no one is mentioning the fact that literally a million people are dead over there. 1.00

00:21:28.000 A fucking million people died in Iraq. 0.96

00:21:30.000 And we know for a fact there was no real weapons of mass destruction. 1.00

00:21:34.000 We know for a fact there was.

00:21:35.000 I mean, just the fact that everybody's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

00:21:38.000 Keep going forward.

00:21:39.000 Like, we're not addressing that.

00:21:40.000 No, because, Joe, we have to focus on the important things.

00:21:43.000 Killing funding for, you know, Planned Parenthood and early education.

00:21:46.000 Yeah.

00:21:47.000 Because we have to do some serious cuts.

00:21:49.000 Yeah, we have to.

00:21:49.000 You know?

00:21:50.000 We can only drop so many billion dollar bombs.

00:21:52.000 Isn't the government, like, shut down right now?

00:21:53.000 Is there no government?

00:21:54.000 Yeah, we're about to.

00:21:55.000 Is this a part of Armageddon?

00:21:56.000 Is this just one more thing?

00:21:57.000 Like, those dolphins died all the way?

00:21:59.000 I didn't believe it was in 2012. I thought, like, the mines just got lazy and they didn't want to count anymore.

00:22:02.000 It's much more complicated than that.

00:22:04.000 It's based on the procession of the equinox.

00:22:07.000 It's based on the 26,000-year cycle.

00:22:09.000 But it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world.

00:22:12.000 That's the crazy thing.

00:22:13.000 Nowhere in the Mayan calendar does it say the end.

00:22:15.000 Since the end of the long count, it's a new era.

00:22:19.000 That doesn't mean anything.

00:22:20.000 It could just mean that, generally speaking, humanity develops in cycles.

00:22:25.000 That's what the Hindus believe too, the yugas.

00:22:28.000 The whole idea of the yugas is that there are cycles of humanity and that we eventually, just by virtue of our design, we get to a point of laziness and sloth once we have it all down like we do today.

00:22:38.000 And then eventually it would spiral out of control and then be the dark ages again.

00:22:41.000 Well, either we're heading towards Dark Ages or like transhumanism. 0.97

00:22:44.000 Yeah, or both, right? 0.99

00:22:47.000 Fucking hoarding all the information inside some gigantic electric city where everyone's in some hive mind state. 0.99

00:22:55.000 Just call it Zion. 1.00

00:22:57.000 Barbarians outside the gate.

00:22:58.000 I mean, even if you connect to the hive mind, if that does happen, transhumanism actually does manifest itself, we're still going to have people that are living in Guam. 0.90

00:23:07.000 How are we going to get them and put chips in them?

00:23:09.000 No, they're going to be used to mine the materials necessary to make the chips.

00:23:13.000 That's how that's going to go.

00:23:13.000 Some of them, but in the Pacific Islands, are you going to go and kidnap them?

00:23:16.000 Are we going to enslave them? 0.99

00:23:17.000 Is it going to be some Terminator shit? 0.99

00:23:19.000 There's going to be some people I think that are still going to be living old school, no matter what you do. 0.99

00:23:23.000 I met some of those guys.

00:23:24.000 I met a group of ex-Vietnam vets in the Emerald Triangle that are living in a box canyon in Northern California.

00:23:30.000 Oh, that's where they grow all the weed, dog.

00:23:34.000 So what happened?

00:23:35.000 So I'm up there and I'm chatting with this guy, B.E. Smith, who's an ex-Vietnam vet.

00:23:38.000 He was the first guy busted by the feds after it was legal state-wise.

00:23:43.000 And he's growing in a box canyon with like 17 other ex-Vietnam vets.

00:23:47.000 It's only one road in, one road out.

00:23:48.000 It takes like two hours to drive it.

00:23:50.000 And they all live there in a community growing acres and acres of weed.

00:23:53.000 And are they doing it legit?

00:23:55.000 Are they doing it like on a sneak tip?

00:23:57.000 Dude, it's weird. 0.98

00:23:57.000 I've interviewed so many people about this and even the most legit guys have some shady shit going on. 0.98

00:24:03.000 It still seems like no matter what loopholes they try to pretend they're exploiting or we take donations and we're a caregiver. 0.97

00:24:10.000 Yeah, dude, you have some shady shit in your past and you have two sets of books like every other dispensary operator out there. 0.99

00:24:16.000 So don't preach holy in the mouth. 1.00

00:24:17.000 Dude, I think you're fucking up the cause here. 0.99

00:24:19.000 Throwing these guys under the bus, man. 0.98

00:24:21.000 You might not want to go on any camping trips with these dudes.

00:24:24.000 I love the cause, but I do not like people. 0.98

00:24:27.000 There's nothing wrong with wanting to get fucking baked. 0.96

00:24:29.000 There's nothing wrong with weed. 0.97

00:24:30.000 What is wrong are people that are co-opting the medicinal marijuana movement and claiming that they're just stoners that are trying to make money or like getting loaded and they're pretending it's their medicine.

00:24:40.000 That's me.

00:24:42.000 Are you claiming it's medicine?

00:24:44.000 Oh yeah, it's medicine.

00:24:44.000 I need it.

00:24:45.000 Why can't you just like to get high?

00:24:47.000 I do that, too.

00:24:48.000 I do that, too.

00:24:49.000 But I'm seeing all these devices.

00:24:50.000 But you're right.

00:24:50.000 I agree with you.

00:24:51.000 I know what you're saying.

00:24:52.000 I'm going to these conventions and seeing these guys that have new, like, oh, yeah, sativa benoit balls.

00:24:56.000 No, it's the coolest medication you'll ever get. 1.00

00:24:58.000 It's like, you just found out a new way to get rip-roaring high through your asshole. 1.00

00:25:02.000 Don't pretend. 1.00

00:25:03.000 Whoa.

00:25:03.000 That, uh...

00:25:04.000 Sativa Benoit Balls?

00:25:05.000 Is this something you just made up?

00:25:07.000 Yeah, but I'm sure it exists.

00:25:08.000 That would be awesome if it was real.

00:25:09.000 If a.com is available, let's go daddy. 0.94

00:25:11.000 This is Belladonna's new video.

00:25:14.000 Sativa Benoit Balls.

00:25:14.000 People find a way to keister everything.

00:25:16.000 From champagne to ecstasy.

00:25:18.000 There's a video online of a young lady.

00:25:20.000 I think her YouTube name is Neuro Soup. 1.00

00:25:24.000 And she took DMT up her ass. 1.00

00:25:26.000 DMT up your ass absorbs directly into the bloodstream. 1.00

00:25:30.000 Like DMT needed to get any harder. 1.00

00:25:31.000 I wonder if you could do that if you snort it.

00:25:33.000 I don't know.

00:25:34.000 You know what I think the internet's going to happen, like how the government's going to get involved?

00:25:37.000 Instead of doing the kill switch, I almost think that they're going to do what web hosts have been doing lately, which is, yeah, it used to be the old days web hosts were like unlimited bandwidth, unlimited this, blah, blah, blah, 20 bucks a month.

00:25:47.000 Net neutrality.

00:25:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:48.000 And I think the government's just going to release, hey, we have internet too.

00:25:52.000 You don't have to sign up for this internet too, but if you want to, it's like a thousand times faster.

00:25:58.000 But the only stipulation is, because now web hosts are doing the same thing.

00:26:02.000 It's like, hey, if you switch to cloud-based servers, you still get everything else, but now you have to pay for RAM. But the way they're going to do that is they're going to turn the internet you know now into that with net neutrality or the lack thereof.

00:26:14.000 So it's going to be you pay for the internet, you get premium, super fast bandwidth access to the stuff we want you to have access to.

00:26:20.000 How important is the message to people that we need to keep the internet free?

00:26:25.000 I think it's going to be one of the most important debates of our time.

00:26:28.000 I agree.

00:26:29.000 I thought Google was going to be good on this.

00:26:32.000 I really thought they were going to be the good guy in the fight.

00:26:34.000 And the deal that they did with Verizon and the FCC is insane. 0.99

00:26:37.000 It basically says, listen, your traditional broadband, not going to fuck with it, bro. 0.97

00:26:42.000 Net neutrality. 0.98

00:26:42.000 You guys are good. 0.98

00:26:43.000 That wireless spectrum space, we can totally clamp that down.

00:26:46.000 Well, how many people believe wires are in our future?

00:26:49.000 None.

00:26:49.000 It's all going high-speed wireless, and that's the way it's going to be delivered.

00:26:52.000 And they're pretending like they're going to totally clamp down on that.

00:26:56.000 So you're going to pay for your internet.

00:26:57.000 It'll probably be provided wirelessly.

00:26:59.000 And then if you want access to really good stuff, you're going to pay them more.

00:27:04.000 So AT&T and Bing for life, right?

00:27:06.000 Yeah.

00:27:06.000 Well, my concern is censorship.

00:27:08.000 My concern isn't just over control of bandwidth and stuff like that.

00:27:11.000 But control of bandwidth is censorship.

00:27:13.000 It is.

00:27:13.000 You're right.

00:27:14.000 Yeah, the ability to disseminate information as quickly as possible is one of the most important parts about it.

00:27:18.000 I think that eventually we're going to have to figure out How much control we're going to allow the government to have over us.

00:27:25.000 Because, you know, people as a group, like collectively, have to realize that there has never been one thing in human history responsible for more access to information than the internet.

00:27:37.000 And it's because of the free nature of it. 0.99

00:27:39.000 You could put up a website right now and just put up the craziest fucking shit you want. 1.00

00:27:43.000 And people will go to it. 1.00

00:27:45.000 And then it gets, oh, hey, check this out.

00:27:47.000 And virally it spreads.

00:27:48.000 There's never been anything like that ever in life except rumors.

00:27:52.000 Rumors were the only things that have been spread like that.

00:27:55.000 And those took years to go from one place to the other.

00:27:56.000 Now it's instantly.

00:27:57.000 Yeah, like the Richard Gere gerbil in the butt rumor, right? 1.00

00:28:00.000 That shit spread over the whole country. 1.00

00:28:02.000 It took a long ass time for that to happen. 1.00

00:28:05.000 No pun intended.

00:28:06.000 Yeah, no pun intended.

00:28:08.000 But when you talk about.

00:28:09.000 That's the only thing that, you know, the Internet.

00:28:11.000 Anything is just like the Richard Gere gerbil up the butt story.

00:28:14.000 Literally anything can be.

00:28:16.000 Any new item that happens like literally gets to your Twitter like almost instantly. 0.97

00:28:21.000 Like my Twitter is responsible for like 80% of the shit I read online. 0.86

00:28:25.000 It's like someone tweets me stuff. 0.98

00:28:27.000 You know, like, dude, you gotta check this out.

00:28:28.000 It's now, and I just retweet it back. 0.98

00:28:30.000 It's like, people are tweeting me the most fascinating shit. 0.96

00:28:33.000 If I lived 30 years ago, this would have never happened. 0.99

00:28:36.000 You would have to live in a university town, and you would have to either teach, or you'd have to be around students all the time.

00:28:42.000 Or you'd have to be in some sort of a really challenging job where the other people that are around you are, like, really creative and constantly reviewing information.

00:28:50.000 Right.

00:28:50.000 In order to get this kind of a richness in, like, what comes in.

00:28:54.000 Mm-hmm.

00:28:55.000 We're so lucky, man.

00:28:57.000 And yet, I'd say, what, 7% of internet users take advantage of that?

00:29:01.000 And that's the hardest part.

00:29:03.000 And now it's so convoluted, you have no idea where that information is coming from.

00:29:06.000 Is it remotely reliable?

00:29:07.000 The internet's just a... 0.98

00:29:08.000 It's also a clusterfuck. 0.94

00:29:10.000 It is tricky, because there was one thing that I read yesterday. 0.99

00:29:13.000 It was really fucking... 0.62

00:29:14.000 There's a couple that I've read, but there's one about this FBI Freedom of Information Act... 0.99

00:29:20.000 Oh, that website where you can go and see all the articles that are up there? 0.70

00:29:23.000 I printed this one because it's ridiculous.

00:29:25.000 It's a guy named Guy Hotel, H-O-T-T-E-L, I believe is his name. 0.98

00:29:30.000 And he put out some fucking Freedom of Information Act thing about UFOs, man. 0.96

00:29:38.000 And it's really crazy. 0.99

00:29:40.000 But listen to what it says.

00:29:41.000 An investigator for the Air Force stated that three so-called flying saucers had been recovered in New Mexico.

00:29:48.000 They were described as being circular in shape with raised centers approximately 50 feet in diameter.

00:29:53.000 Each one was occupied by three bodies of human shape but only three feet tall, dressed in metallic cloth or a very fine texture.

00:30:01.000 Each body was bandaged in a major...

00:30:04.000 It's hard to read that.

00:30:06.000 It's a little bloggy.

00:30:07.000 To the blackout suits used by speed flyers and test pilots. 0.99

00:30:12.000 This is some pretty crazy shit. 0.99

00:30:14.000 I don't know if this is a hoax. 1.00

00:30:16.000 I don't know if this is horseshit. 0.97

00:30:17.000 What year was this? 0.89

00:30:19.000 It happened in 1940. Is that this Roswell that they're talking about?

00:30:24.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:30:25.000 A bunch of midgets out there. 1.00

00:30:27.000 Midgets trying to take over the world, crashing their shit. 1.00

00:30:30.000 I just don't know if this is horseshit, but it is on the FBI fucking page. 1.00

00:30:34.000 It's on the FBI. It's the page on this guy. 0.99

00:30:40.000 I mean, all it's saying is that an investigator said this.

00:30:43.000 Someone said something.

00:30:43.000 That's all it really says.

00:30:45.000 I imagine that if that was any more concrete of proof, it wouldn't be out there still.

00:30:49.000 It's one of my favorite stories, man.

00:30:51.000 The Roswell story is one of my favorite stories, because it's pretty universal that everyone saw something. 0.99

00:30:57.000 And there's so many people, like General Philip Corso, or Admiral, whatever the fuck it is. 0.98

00:31:04.000 Title is. 0.96

00:31:04.000 But all these people that were in the military that saw things and testified after the fact. 0.96

00:31:10.000 And their stories are so similar. 0.98

00:31:12.000 You know, after like 10, 20, 30 years go by, who the fuck knows what you're really remembering? 1.00

00:31:18.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

00:31:20.000 You pick up a piece from someone else's story and... 1.00

00:31:22.000 Yeah, I mean, you talk to O.J. Simpson right now, that guy, he might have some crazy fucking story in his head where he really didn't do it. 0.99

00:31:29.000 I mean, who knows? 0.97

00:31:29.000 But this New Mexico thing, to me, is fascinating because they printed in the paper that we've recovered a crashed flying disc. 0.97

00:31:37.000 You know, that the Air Force had communicated to the newspaper, we have recovered a UFO. It doesn't mean it wasn't some sort of a Russian thing.

00:31:43.000 It doesn't mean it wasn't one of their own things. 0.99

00:31:46.000 But it also doesn't mean it wasn't a fucking flying saucer. 0.98

00:31:49.000 Who was saying all this? 0.99

00:31:52.000 Maybe the reporter just asked some dummy that was like, you saw an alien.

00:31:57.000 I could tell you because I have it in the hallway.

00:32:00.000 I have the actual...

00:32:02.000 With a newspaper article?

00:32:03.000 Yeah.

00:32:03.000 It's fascinating.

00:32:04.000 But no, it was a high-level guy.

00:32:07.000 And then the next day, he had to come out and do a press release, and they brought pieces of weather balloon wreckage.

00:32:14.000 And they were saying, oh, it was just this.

00:32:17.000 I used to do a joke about it.

00:32:19.000 They said, what about the aliens?

00:32:20.000 Oh, those were Mexicans. 1.00

00:32:21.000 They were up in a balloon.

00:32:22.000 They were drinking.

00:32:23.000 Some shenanigans took place.

00:32:24.000 Apparently, they mistook the balloon for a pinata.

00:32:27.000 Nothing to worry about.

00:32:28.000 By the way, we've just invented transistors with very little research.

00:32:33.000 I've never heard that.

00:32:34.000 That's an old show.

00:32:36.000 That's pretty good.

00:32:37.000 You don't know that one?

00:32:37.000 No, I didn't.

00:32:38.000 Yeah, that was the crashed UFO that they recovered.

00:32:41.000 Yeah, the Roswell thing.

00:32:43.000 Is that on disk?

00:32:44.000 Yeah, that's on 99. That's to go along with my SETI one.

00:32:47.000 The SETI one that takes like 3 million years for a signal, radial signal reach outside the galaxy.

00:32:52.000 Wow.

00:32:52.000 So you send out, hello, is anyone out there?

00:32:54.000 3 million years later, what?

00:32:56.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:32:58.000 Man, that's been a while.

00:32:58.000 Did you ever do the SETI search at home where your computer would help analyze data bits that they got back?

00:33:03.000 I thought about doing it, but I'm like, you're just going to hog up my fucking computer and I'm not using it. 1.00

00:33:06.000 Yeah, that's the dumbest shit ever. 1.00

00:33:08.000 I've never done that. 1.00

00:33:09.000 And what are you going to do? 1.00

00:33:09.000 Listen, if they want to talk to us, they can talk to us, stupid. 1.00

00:33:12.000 You know, I mean. 1.00

00:33:13.000 That's dumb. 1.00

00:33:14.000 The idea that we need to sit around monitoring some fucking radio spectrum. 1.00

00:33:19.000 I think that if anything is going to be able to communicate with us from that far away, they're going to be so fucking far advanced. 0.95

00:33:26.000 All you'd have to do is be in a different environment where you don't have the threat of asteroidal impact.

00:33:32.000 That's it.

00:33:33.000 That's the big one.

00:33:34.000 Asteroid impact and a stable planet.

00:33:36.000 A planet that doesn't have all the crazy shit going on that this planet does with super volcanoes and shifting of the polar ice caps and stuff like that, which we know happen.

00:33:45.000 I do get the notion of listening, though, for the same way that we might be broadcasting something out. 0.62

00:33:49.000 Like, if you're going to roll your dice, yes, there are probably bazillions of light years ahead of us in advanced and intelligent, but least common denominator, maybe there's another human being species out there that is still broadcasting I Love Lucy episodes and...

00:34:01.000 Hitler's Olympic opening, and you can listen for that. 0.78

00:34:03.000 I get that notion.

00:34:03.000 Yeah, I get the notion too, but I feel like if they're going to get to us, they're going to get to us.

00:34:07.000 It just seems...

00:34:09.000 I love that woman who the Jodie Foster movie Contact was based on.

00:34:14.000 Fascinating.

00:34:14.000 That woman is really doing that.

00:34:16.000 She's really out there in the middle of the fucking desert. 1.00

00:34:19.000 Don't we need an alien attack? 0.99

00:34:21.000 Nothing too drastic to happen, but just a common enemy to unite us all so we'll realize that we are human beings and get along.

00:34:27.000 That would help.

00:34:27.000 If we could all band together, then we could really research some cool space travel shit and teleporters or whatever else we need.

00:34:33.000 The most trippy thing would be if we realized that aliens came from not another planet but another dimension. 0.83

00:34:38.000 From here but in another dimension.

00:34:40.000 They were dimensional travelers. 0.98

00:34:41.000 And the concept of dimensions is pretty fucking squirrely to people. 0.94

00:34:44.000 But I always try to explain it as if it's a radio. 0.92

00:34:48.000 Think of it as life as a radio.

00:34:49.000 And we are currently tuned in to 97.1.

00:34:52.000 It doesn't mean there's not a 101.1 right down the dial that's just as vibrant.

00:34:56.000 We just haven't tuned into it.

00:34:57.000 We're just not picking up that frequency.

00:35:00.000 That's very possible.

00:35:01.000 Isn't that what they were trying to achieve with the Hadron Collider?

00:35:03.000 Obviously studying black holes and whatnot, but the notion that they could control that explosion, like if they built one in space, they could control the explosion, and that explosion would actually be a portal or a wormhole?

00:35:12.000 Well, I don't know about that.

00:35:14.000 I know that the black hole thing was sort of a residual effect of trying to create the Higgs-Boson particle.

00:35:20.000 And what that is is a theoretical particle that only existed milliseconds after the Big Bang, which is also theoretical.

00:35:28.000 What they're basically doing is seeing what happens in the extreme conditions of the universe and trying to recreate it.

00:35:36.000 It's a trippy thing because You know, the idea is that they're not going to stop with this.

00:35:42.000 The idea is whatever findings they learned from the Large Hadron Collider will be applied to the next...

00:35:48.000 To the next giant device they built.

00:35:49.000 Yeah.

00:35:49.000 I mean, when they first came up with atomic bombs, you know, that was the peak of science.

00:35:55.000 And since then, it's accelerated and gotten bigger and crazier. 0.96

00:35:58.000 And there's some shit I'm sure that they're working on right now that we can't even wrap our heads around. 0.88

00:36:02.000 Like, when you hear about quantum computing, or you're a computer guy, you're a... 0.97

00:36:07.000 I'm a geek squad member.

00:36:08.000 You're a geek web member. 1.00

00:36:09.000 Yeah, you're a bad motherfucker. 1.00

00:36:10.000 I can fix your modem. 1.00

00:36:11.000 When you hear about quantum computing, I have tried to, I've read many papers on quantum computing, and I take a deep breath and I read them again, and I take a deep breath and I read them again, and I try to wrap my fucking brain around exactly what they're saying, but it's so squirrely.

00:36:26.000 It's like, whoa, this is getting awful lot like magic.

00:36:31.000 Yeah, but it's not magic.

00:36:33.000 That's the beauty.

00:36:34.000 The notion that they're also going to control biology.

00:36:36.000 They're going to wrangle cells to do calculations instead of silicon.

00:36:40.000 And creating artificial leaves.

00:36:41.000 Have you seen that?

00:36:42.000 This is the latest thing.

00:36:43.000 They've created an artificial leaf that actually has actual artificial photosynthesis.

00:36:48.000 Wow.

00:36:48.000 That's amazing.

00:36:50.000 Future of power.

00:36:51.000 Dude, yeah, the future of power.

00:36:52.000 I love that, you know, I thought disasters in Japan, not to bring this to a much lighter note, but I thought disasters in Japan would lead to a finely intelligent adult conversation, although I hate the term adult conversation, about energy in this country.

00:37:03.000 I thought maybe it would get us to solar and looking into photosynthesis and all that stuff.

00:37:07.000 And it hasn't at all.

00:37:07.000 You know what it's done?

00:37:08.000 It's started a scare fucking, scare tsunami. 0.99

00:37:12.000 You know, this whole country is terrified. 0.99

00:37:14.000 In Orange County, there's a fault line and there's a nuclear power plant right there.

00:37:17.000 What happens then?

00:37:18.000 That's what everybody's freaking out about.

00:37:19.000 It's fine to be scared by nuclear energy.

00:37:21.000 That's great.

00:37:21.000 But channel that paranoia into creating positive technologies instead of relying on coal and deep sea drilling.

00:37:27.000 See, that would require enlightenment.

00:37:29.000 And we are children.

00:37:30.000 Human beings are as childish as we are allowed to be.

00:37:33.000 You know, and I see that every day.

00:37:35.000 I see that in having kids.

00:37:37.000 I see that in just in human being and lazy behavior.

00:37:40.000 People are as childish and indulgent as they have to be. 0.89

00:37:44.000 And that's why we're so fascinated when we hear about some Amazon tribe that goes out and gets their own fucking water with, you know, hollowed out coconuts and, you know, they fucking shoot monkeys with spear guns and that's what they eat, you know, like You read about that and you go, whoa, how resourceful. 0.98

00:37:59.000 What a grind they're putting. 0.98

00:38:01.000 There's no room for laziness in that culture. 1.00

00:38:03.000 These motherfuckers are out there doing it. 1.00

00:38:05.000 Because we know what's possible with human beings, but we also know how we are inclined to sloth. 1.00

00:38:11.000 It's so easy for people to just be like, who cares about Japan? 1.00

00:38:16.000 They're a bunch of faggots. 1.00

00:38:18.000 You know, it's so easy. 1.00

00:38:19.000 It's so easy to think like that.

00:38:20.000 I'm sorry.

00:38:20.000 I have to listen.

00:38:22.000 I was watching a video of a guy squat on a mason jar and it popped in his ass. 0.99

00:38:25.000 What were you saying about that? 0.99

00:38:26.000 What were you saying?

00:38:27.000 That's the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen.

00:38:29.000 The one guy, one jar?

00:38:31.000 Love it.

00:38:32.000 Right up there with Mr. Hands.

00:38:34.000 It's right up there.

00:38:36.000 Have we touched on – well, you mentioned something earlier that I wanted to get back to about what will we as a society accept from our government in terms of control when we revolt and all that stuff.

00:38:46.000 And I'm still amazed every damn flight I take when I look at the TSA procedures and I see people just standing in those X-ray boxes and just filling their bodies with gamma rays to prove that they're not a terrorist.

00:38:57.000 What do you do? 0.93

00:38:58.000 Do you do awful countdown?

00:38:59.000 I opt out.

00:38:59.000 No, I opt out.

00:39:00.000 Really?

00:39:01.000 Yeah.

00:39:01.000 You get a pat down every time?

00:39:02.000 Absolutely.

00:39:03.000 Wow.

00:39:03.000 Absolutely.

00:39:03.000 And there was just a study recently that they have to retest a whole bunch of machines because it was like 47% was the number.

00:39:09.000 More radiation was coming out per machine than what they estimated. 0.97

00:39:13.000 I don't need some dude getting a fucking image of myself on some box that he could send around. 1.00

00:39:18.000 You got a little dick, don't be lying. 1.00

00:39:21.000 Huh? 1.00

00:39:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:24.000 I would never lie.

00:39:25.000 If I were hung any better, I would be in jail because I would show it off every five seconds.

00:39:30.000 I liked the way you think.

00:39:33.000 Constantly depressed at the sad state of affairs down there.

00:39:36.000 There was a guy with a micropenis that I got in an argument with about male feminism.

00:39:40.000 Yeah.

00:39:41.000 And long story.

00:39:42.000 But the point is that, you know, it's become like a point of debate where like some guys have been upset at me.

00:39:48.000 Like, what is your issue with male feminism?

00:39:50.000 My issue is the same thing as women that are masculinisms, you know, or masculinists rather, you know. 1.00

00:39:56.000 I mean, any women who's only into men, like men power and man power, or even into it to the point where you're promoting it, just promote equality amongst human beings as far as the way we treat each other.

00:40:06.000 But there's something creepy about male feminists, and that's why I wanted you to pull up that video, Brian. 1.00

00:40:11.000 And I tweeted this yesterday.

00:40:13.000 It's by these guys that call themselves the conscious men, okay?

00:40:17.000 And it is like an apology and like a manifesto I'll read the description.

00:40:24.000 An apology on behalf of men or an apology to women? 0.63

00:40:28.000 Apology to women and on behalf of men to women because they are conscious and they were trying to get in touch with their femininity. 1.00

00:40:35.000 I've never seen a bigger group of what look like date rapists and creeps and just annoying fucking weak ass bitches. 1.00

00:40:45.000 Have you been to Comic Con? 1.00

00:40:46.000 No, I haven't.

00:40:47.000 Is it different?

00:40:47.000 Is it worse?

00:40:49.000 Watch this, though.

00:40:49.000 You must see this.

00:40:50.000 You have to see this.

00:40:51.000 For folks living, don't listen to me, no matter what I say. 1.00

00:40:56.000 Even if you agree with me, I'm an idiot. 1.00

00:40:58.000 Listen to this. 0.99

00:41:00.000 By the way, the man talking, his name is Gay Hendricks.

00:41:10.000 We also feel deep sorrow about the destructive actions of the unconscious masculine in the past and present.

00:41:17.000 We want to apologize and make amends for those actions today so that we can move forward together into a new era of cooperation.

00:41:24.000 Are they peeing on a spoon?

00:41:26.000 What is that sound in the background?

00:41:28.000 You know what that is?

00:41:28.000 It's a fountain, bro.

00:41:29.000 They're calm.

00:41:30.000 They're enlightened.

00:41:31.000 Why listen to the music?

00:41:32.000 In me, in you, and in all of life.

00:41:37.000 I know that we all have access to the full spectrum of these energies. 0.90

00:41:41.000 If you see this guy, you realize how fucking creepy this sounds.

00:41:44.000 This has got to be a vital for Skittles. 1.00

00:41:49.000 I admit it, I can only think about Kevin Ripon living in Munn at the park with his big dick. 0.99

00:41:54.000 This was the music I'd play when we were doing that. 0.99

00:41:56.000 Look at these guys.

00:41:57.000 Look at these guys.

00:41:58.000 I know that in order to truly honor you as a multidimensional woman, I must stand fully present with myself and own the gifts I have to show.

00:42:05.000 I bought drugs from him.

00:42:07.000 Absolutely.

00:42:07.000 Look at this guy.

00:42:09.000 Rapist.

00:42:09.000 By nurturing each other in a conscious way.

00:42:11.000 Clearly, look at his eyes.

00:42:12.000 He's got an ankle bracelet.

00:42:14.000 Or two.

00:42:15.000 And by worshipping the divinity expressed in the masculine and the feminine energies. 1.00

00:42:20.000 That guy's full of shit. 1.00

00:42:21.000 That guy's just looking for pussy. 1.00

00:42:22.000 Look at his little smile at the end. 1.00

00:42:25.000 These all look like people that went to a camp to pray their gay away. 0.98

00:42:30.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:42:31.000 Like that stare in the eyes.

00:42:33.000 They all just...

00:42:34.000 This guy's reformed. 1.00

00:42:35.000 He's totally into pussy now. 1.00

00:42:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:37.000 What?

00:42:38.000 Is that from Wicker Man?

00:42:39.000 It's a woman burning at the stake. 0.99

00:42:40.000 They're showing a woman burning.

00:42:42.000 It's like women burning at the cross. 1.00

00:42:44.000 Here's what you don't understand, fucko. 0.99

00:42:45.000 That burning at the cross thing was explained. 0.98

00:42:48.000 Relegated you to subservient chores? 1.00

00:42:50.000 Force you to hide your faces and even cut off your organs of sexual pleasure. 0.99

00:42:55.000 Well, that I kind of agree. 0.99

00:42:56.000 Yeah, I like that one.

00:42:58.000 It's getting a little extreme, though.

00:42:59.000 I'm aware of the forces of the unconscious masculine psyche.

00:43:02.000 Pouty lips.

00:43:04.000 This guy does not have a masculine psyche.

00:43:06.000 Many of the men who have oppressed... 0.98

00:43:07.000 He has this guy's masculine psyche in his mouth.

00:43:10.000 Among the living, many men may not be able to apologize because they remain shackled in a prison of anger, fear, and shame. 1.00

00:43:18.000 You're a shitty poet, dude. 0.98

00:43:19.000 On behalf of my gender, I apologize to you. 1.00

00:43:22.000 Don't you say shit on my behalf. 0.98

00:43:25.000 When we were angry, scared. 1.00

00:43:27.000 And in the grip of destructive forces in our psyche.

00:43:31.000 I choose to no longer contribute to those forces.

00:43:34.000 This room smells like it's wood paneled and stained with tears and blood now. 0.99

00:43:38.000 Smells like faggotry, it's not good. 1.00

00:43:39.000 Is that the poker player guy? 1.00

00:43:42.000 Is this the most ridiculous shit ever? 1.00

00:43:46.000 Look at this guy. 1.00

00:43:50.000 Oh my god, it's Brody Stevens.

00:43:53.000 Does this end with an invite?

00:43:55.000 Black guy! 0.97

00:43:56.000 This has got to end with an invite to a drum circle. 0.99

00:43:58.000 Look at this guy.

00:43:59.000 He just got done selling meth.

00:44:03.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:44:05.000 Stay in white!

00:44:09.000 I honor your deep connection to the Earth.

00:44:13.000 Alright, so I have an innie now.

00:44:15.000 Is that the point? 1.00

00:44:16.000 My dick just crawled back into my stomach out of shame. 1.00

00:44:18.000 All these guys are willing to roofie you. 0.99

00:44:21.000 We mistakenly believed that expansion would protect us from encroachment.

00:44:25.000 And in the process, we violated the sanctity of the Earth.

00:44:29.000 Okay, stop it.

00:44:30.000 I can't even watch it.

00:44:31.000 Look.

00:44:32.000 I understand that they have good intentions, and I'm sure they're not really rapists. 1.00

00:44:35.000 But you've got to understand, folks, you're all what we would classify as weak-ass bitches. 1.00

00:44:40.000 And that's why you're feeling this way. 1.00

00:44:42.000 That's why you're feeling like you need to go out and save the world and make these women... 1.00

00:44:46.000 Look, women are going to be fine. 1.00

00:44:47.000 Yes, we should all be nice to women. 0.85

00:44:49.000 What are they doing other than making YouTube videos?

00:44:51.000 They're trying to look cool.

00:44:52.000 They're trying to get really broken women to like them. 1.00

00:44:57.000 The kind of women that, like, they can't attract them. 1.00

00:44:59.000 They're not interesting.

00:45:00.000 They're probably not successful.

00:45:01.000 They're not intelligent.

00:45:02.000 They're not swole. 0.98

00:45:04.000 They're not sexually attractive.

00:45:06.000 They probably have nothing going on. 1.00

00:45:07.000 No fucking sense of humor. 1.00

00:45:09.000 Those guys have a mistress that puts them in a diaper in a cage and whip them on the weekends. 1.00

00:45:11.000 I don't even think they have that.

00:45:12.000 That would be too exciting.

00:45:13.000 They have less than that.

00:45:14.000 I think they have that.

00:45:15.000 I think they pay for that.

00:45:15.000 Really?

00:45:16.000 Out the nose. 0.99

00:45:16.000 I think you're just fucking speculating at this point. 0.99

00:45:18.000 Well, aren't we all? 0.99

00:45:19.000 That's what the world is, right?

00:45:20.000 Let's speculate away. 1.00

00:45:22.000 But what they are is weak-ass bitches, and we don't need that. 1.00

00:45:24.000 What those men need is steaks and squats and boot camp and someone who gets them a fucking interest. 1.00

00:45:31.000 Whatever the fuck it is, man. 0.99

00:45:32.000 So let's make an apology video on behalf of men for them. 0.99

00:45:35.000 We should.

00:45:36.000 That's what it should be.

00:45:37.000 We should. 1.00

00:45:37.000 Dear weak-ass bitches of the world. 1.00

00:45:40.000 Dear women. 1.00

00:45:40.000 Dear women who have been... 1.00

00:45:42.000 You know, compromised by these knuckleheads that try to pretend that men aren't men and women aren't women and there's some sort of a hybrid that you can be where you can appeal to the women and embrace your feminine energy.

00:45:53.000 Dear women. 1.00

00:45:54.000 I'm sorry you've had a Crate and Barrel magazine humping douchebag to walk over your whole life. 1.00

00:45:59.000 But I promise I will waltz into your bedroom, choke you during climax, and probably spit in your mouth. 1.00

00:46:04.000 If you can't gorilla fuck a chick, you better know some poetry. 1.00

00:46:08.000 That's the reality. 1.00

00:46:09.000 You better know how to write some shit down and make it rhyme. 0.99

00:46:11.000 You better know what kind of flower she likes. 1.00

00:46:14.000 You better be good at massages.

00:46:15.000 And if you're lucky, she'll let you...

00:46:18.000 And she'll probably barely be wet.

00:46:20.000 She'll later like a bag of sand. 0.99

00:46:21.000 She's not really into you, dude.

00:46:23.000 And wait for you to cook her salmon. 1.00

00:46:23.000 But her trainer might fuck the shit out of her. 1.00

00:46:25.000 I'll tell you that. 1.00

00:46:26.000 Her trainer might fuck her in a parking lot, man. 1.00

00:46:28.000 He might just whip out his fucking hog in a parking lot. 1.00

00:46:31.000 You never know, man. 1.00

00:46:32.000 Right on the Pilates machine.

00:46:33.000 You know why?

00:46:33.000 Here's why.

00:46:34.000 You ready?

00:46:34.000 Are you ready?

00:46:35.000 We're animals, okay?

00:46:36.000 We're not perfect.

00:46:37.000 Yeah, we're evolving.

00:46:39.000 Yeah, the ideal's great.

00:46:40.000 Be nice to people.

00:46:41.000 That's all good.

00:46:42.000 But here's what you also have to do. 1.00

00:46:43.000 You gotta be a fucking man. 1.00

00:46:45.000 If you want women to like you, you gotta be a man. 1.00

00:46:47.000 That's why you don't like dykes. 1.00

00:46:48.000 Why do you not like dykes? 1.00

00:46:49.000 Because they're weird. 0.89

00:46:50.000 They're not being a woman. 1.00

00:46:52.000 Even though she's a woman, what's not sexy about it? 1.00

00:46:55.000 Well, there's some weird thing there.

00:46:56.000 She's acting like a man. 1.00

00:46:57.000 Well, guess what, fuckhead? 1.00

00:46:59.000 Women think the same way about men who act like women. 1.00

00:47:01.000 Men want women. 1.00

00:47:02.000 Women want men. 1.00

00:47:03.000 It's really that goddamn simple. 1.00

00:47:05.000 You can't be some fucking hybrid to fill in the gaps and take... 1.00

00:47:08.000 You can't, actually. 1.00

00:47:09.000 Do whatever the fuck you want to do. 0.99

00:47:10.000 I mean, who am I to tell you? 0.99

00:47:12.000 Science has evolved to where you can actually create the gap for yourself.

00:47:15.000 Chastity Bono.

00:47:16.000 You can do it.

00:47:17.000 She's a man now. 0.99

00:47:18.000 I thought it was the girlfriend telling me to shut the fuck up, and she said, right on. 1.00

00:47:21.000 I was like, okay, cool. 0.99

00:47:23.000 She sent you a text?

00:47:24.000 Yeah, she texted me.

00:47:25.000 Oh no, I love that.

00:47:26.000 How long have you been dating your girl?

00:47:28.000 I think officially about two years now.

00:47:30.000 Two years.

00:47:31.000 To your pimp music.

00:47:32.000 So, you never dated Olivia Munn?

00:47:34.000 You were dating the whole time another girl.

00:47:36.000 What did you call Olivia Munn?

00:47:38.000 Munn. 0.99

00:47:39.000 Dicks in his mouth. 0.99

00:47:41.000 Were you in that apology video? 0.99

00:47:43.000 I think a lot of the internet always was kind of jealous of you.

00:47:47.000 We never dated.

00:47:48.000 Never dated.

00:47:49.000 Never messed around.

00:47:50.000 Oh, that's a distinctly different thing.

00:47:52.000 Oh, okay.

00:47:54.000 You're pretty lucky to do it.

00:47:55.000 You cannot mix those words.

00:47:58.000 You've got to treat them like they're your sisters, man.

00:48:00.000 I've never had a sister, and I swear to God, by the end of that run, I was like, I know exactly what it's like to have a sister.

00:48:06.000 Absolutely felt that way.

00:48:07.000 What does she smell like? 1.00

00:48:10.000 Vaginas. 1.00

00:48:11.000 Yeah.

00:48:11.000 And flowers.

00:48:12.000 Dreams.

00:48:12.000 Wishes.

00:48:14.000 Burnt salmon.

00:48:17.000 Burnt salmon.

00:48:18.000 But you've been really successful over at G4. That whole network pretty much centers around a couple people, you and extended play people or whatever it's called nowadays.

00:48:28.000 But how did you even fall into that?

00:48:31.000 Because, I mean, when I first moved to California, I had no friends.

00:48:34.000 Zero friends.

00:48:35.000 And it was when the screensavers just moved to L.A. I had nothing to do.

00:48:39.000 I had no friends.

00:48:40.000 So I would just go to live tapings all the time.

00:48:42.000 Just for fun.

00:48:43.000 Because I was a huge nerd.

00:48:44.000 That was a cool show.

00:48:45.000 So I got to hang out with the Kevin Rose and Yoshi and all of them.

00:48:50.000 It was the only thing I did.

00:48:54.000 You were kind of looked at as the bad guy, I guess.

00:48:56.000 Yeah, from the tech TV side of things.

00:48:59.000 I was somehow lumped into the evil empire that came and absorbed this network.

00:49:03.000 Explain to everybody who doesn't know the history.

00:49:05.000 Alright, so there was a network called Tech TV based out of San Francisco, which I was a huge fan of.

00:49:10.000 And that was Screen Savers.

00:49:12.000 I used to watch that.

00:49:13.000 Screen Savers, Call for Help.

00:49:13.000 And what was the dude with the white hair that would review games?

00:49:16.000 Leo.

00:49:17.000 No, you're talking about Adam Sessler.

00:49:18.000 Adam Sessler?

00:49:19.000 Yes.

00:49:20.000 Yeah, he's still on G4. He's on X-Play, our game show.

00:49:22.000 But there was this weird sort of buyout of Tech TV. It wasn't like some hostile takeover or anything like that.

00:49:29.000 And unfortunately, I think that at the time, the merger was mismanaged.

00:49:35.000 My network interests were buying distribution and not buying content, and that was the problem.

00:49:39.000 And so it was just sort of like, okay, we have all this distribution now.

00:49:42.000 Let's just merge these networks and we'll figure it out and let it fly.

00:49:44.000 So unfortunately, I got stuck in a situation where they were transitioning a show that I loved, The Screensavers, into this other show without thinking that the audience might not like that.

00:49:53.000 You turn on the dial one day and it's the same time, the same kind of program, but it's a different name with some of the nerdiest stuff stripped out and all that stuff.

00:50:02.000 And so it got a lot of bad blood, which unfortunately still exists today on the internet.

00:50:06.000 I get it.

00:50:06.000 I always tell people when I meet them that we're tech TV fans that go like...

00:50:10.000 Screensavers.

00:50:11.000 I go, listen, dude, I love that show, too.

00:50:13.000 And I hope that people realize now it is a different show.

00:50:16.000 And unfortunately, the transition was rough and awkward, and I still take lumps for it all the time when I go out.

00:50:21.000 What are they upset about the most?

00:50:22.000 You said that the geekier elements were taken away?

00:50:25.000 They took away everybody.

00:50:27.000 One of the coolest things is that before it all happened, the screensavers used to have webcams.

00:50:32.000 They just put all webcams in.

00:50:33.000 And the day it happened, Alex put on this image, which is Alex saying goodbye everyone.

00:50:39.000 And pretty much everyone on the internet found out about it first.

00:50:43.000 What's crazy is though, I had the same hat.

00:50:46.000 As him and the same shirt as him.

00:50:48.000 So I put TSS is canceled under it and I had the same outfit and same hat on there and that got around the internet.

00:50:57.000 So everyone thought at first the screensaver was canceled and stuff like that.

00:51:02.000 As a scam? 0.66

00:51:02.000 As a troll. 0.66

00:51:04.000 As a troll. 1.00

00:51:05.000 You don't know how fucked up this guy is. 1.00

00:51:07.000 Let me tell you one of the things he did. 1.00

00:51:08.000 He owned PepsiSpice.com.

00:51:12.000 When Pepsi Spice came out, Pepsi Spice was like this innovative new beverage.

00:51:16.000 It's Pepsi, but it's spicy. 0.99

00:51:17.000 Well, this asshole found out that Pepsi Spice hadn't gotten their own domain. 0.99

00:51:22.000 They didn't secure So Brian starts a daily blog on Pepsi Spice about going on a Pepsi Spice-only diet and he starts… Where I was only allowed to drink Pepsi Spice and then deteriorate your body. 1.00

00:51:35.000 It's fucking horrible. 0.99

00:51:37.000 Tell people what it is. 0.99

00:51:38.000 Is it still up anywhere?

00:51:39.000 No.

00:51:40.000 I took it down because Pepsi said they were going to sue me or something like that.

00:51:43.000 But it lasted.

00:51:45.000 I said in 30 days I'm only going to have Pepsi Spice.

00:51:48.000 So it started off where, you know, the first couple of days, I'm like, I'm really hungry, but, you know, whatever.

00:51:52.000 Then it became like I started getting open sores. 0.99

00:51:55.000 I was fucking pissing blood. 0.98

00:51:57.000 And then it got to bad where I was like... 1.00

00:51:59.000 Oh, my dick is falling off. 0.99

00:52:00.000 I was losing like 10 pounds a day or something like that. 0.99

00:52:03.000 By the way, this is like 2000, right?

00:52:05.000 Yeah.

00:52:05.000 When was this?

00:52:05.000 This was a while ago.

00:52:06.000 A long time ago.

00:52:07.000 Yeah, it was probably like 2004 or something like that.

00:52:09.000 Was it 2004?

00:52:10.000 Were you here?

00:52:10.000 Yeah, I was here.

00:52:12.000 When I had nothing to do with it except go to the screensavers.

00:52:14.000 Joe?

00:52:15.000 No, thank you.

00:52:16.000 I'll get on.

00:52:16.000 But what's crazy is that I even had radio interviews.

00:52:19.000 They interviewed me on radio stations because they thought it was real.

00:52:23.000 And then Pepsi started getting contacted me saying they're threatening me.

00:52:26.000 So I made my character die and I took it down.

00:52:29.000 But you can find it still on Google Cash and stuff.

00:52:32.000 But you know the other thing- How does that work?

00:52:33.000 Does Google Cash work?

00:52:35.000 Google Cache is kind of like what's, you know, RSS feeds.

00:52:38.000 They grab your website.

00:52:39.000 Well, it's not like an RSS feed.

00:52:40.000 They go out and they crawl your site, whether you put it out there or not. 0.95

00:52:43.000 And so when they crawl your pages looking for keywords and images or whatever, they're caching all that shit.

00:52:48.000 They're saving the entire internet.

00:52:48.000 So they basically have the whole internet saved?

00:52:50.000 Kind of.

00:52:51.000 To an extent, yeah.

00:52:51.000 They really kind of do.

00:52:53.000 A lot of broken images, though.

00:52:54.000 Sure.

00:52:55.000 But, yeah, definitely.

00:52:56.000 Have you done the internet way back machine?

00:52:57.000 Yeah, that's internet archive.

00:52:59.000 Yeah, internet archive.

00:52:59.000 The way back machine is so fun.

00:53:01.000 How does that work?

00:53:02.000 It saves kind of a thing based off the cache.

00:53:04.000 It saves snapshots of sites.

00:53:06.000 There's broken images and whatnot, but you can go back and look at Yahoo back in the day.

00:53:09.000 If you had an old website, you can go back and look at it.

00:53:11.000 I had a new website in 98. That was my first website.

00:53:14.000 Thank God YouTube wasn't around when I was 10 years old.

00:53:16.000 Your old website's on there.

00:53:17.000 Yeah, me too.

00:53:18.000 Your old website's on there.

00:53:19.000 But this is a question I wanted to ask you because you used to work with Laura Foy.

00:53:23.000 Yeah.

00:53:24.000 I was her PA. Laura who?

00:53:26.000 Laura Foy.

00:53:27.000 Who's that?

00:53:28.000 Really hot blonde chick that used to be on a really cool show with – I Scott Rubin and Tina Wood. 1.00

00:53:33.000 It's called G4TV.com.

00:53:34.000 Scott Rubin does this live.

00:53:36.000 Anyways, she forgot one day that her webcam, right when they put on webcams, so I caught her all these times just sucking her thumb and she didn't know the webcam was on.

00:53:45.000 Is this something that she openly did around the office? 0.98

00:53:48.000 I even got photos of her when she found out that the webcam was on.

00:53:53.000 What you're supposed to do, dude, is not let that out and find her. 1.00

00:53:59.000 And put honey on your dick. 1.00

00:54:01.000 That's what you're supposed to do. 1.00

00:54:02.000 I think Foy would rather have the thumb-sucking photos online than suck honey off a member personally. 0.97

00:54:08.000 You don't know that. 0.98

00:54:10.000 She might be really into that, man.

00:54:11.000 I'd be willing to put money on it, actually.

00:54:12.000 Oh, you're so wrong. 0.96

00:54:13.000 I guarantee you she's a freak. 1.00

00:54:15.000 Sucking her thumb in front of a webcam? 1.00

00:54:17.000 Come on, dude. 1.00

00:54:18.000 She's hoping the FBI is tuning into that.

00:54:20.000 She's sending that message. 1.00

00:54:21.000 When you're sitting there sucking thumb, you're sucking a cock, okay? 1.00

00:54:24.000 If you're not three, you're sucking a cock. 0.99

00:54:26.000 Remember when Kat Swartz put out a bunch of photos and then somebody learned about the thumbnail being saved in Photoshop? 0.99

00:54:33.000 What are you talking about?

00:54:34.000 Who's Kat Schwartz? 0.99

00:54:35.000 Kat Schwartz used to be also on the screen savers. 0.97

00:54:38.000 Also, like, I personally signed pink slips or some shit.

00:54:42.000 Did you see that right there? 0.96

00:54:43.000 I didn't see that.

00:54:44.000 She used to also be on, like, it's my fault.

00:54:45.000 Someone's a little sensitive.

00:54:45.000 He's a little sensitive.

00:54:46.000 He is very sensitive.

00:54:47.000 That's not what I meant.

00:54:48.000 You are reacting to all the vile from the internet.

00:54:52.000 I'm actually pretty good friends with Kat and her baby's daddy and everything.

00:54:57.000 Baby's daddy works for South Park.

00:54:59.000 Is she the girl that was on...

00:55:01.000 She did Playboy or something? 0.94

00:55:02.000 No, no, no.

00:55:03.000 This is what she did.

00:55:03.000 She released some photos of herself, like model photos, and they were not...

00:55:09.000 Not nude.

00:55:10.000 Not nude.

00:55:10.000 Artsy photos taken by a friend.

00:55:11.000 But what happens is when you put it in Photoshop, it saves a thumbnail of the photo inside the information of the data inside the photo.

00:55:21.000 Each photo has data in it.

00:55:23.000 A lot of times it has GPS information or it has...

00:55:25.000 What camera was taken on with the settings where there's extra data in addition to just the image.

00:55:29.000 Right.

00:55:30.000 So she cropped it before she put it on the internet, but it saved the original as a thumbnail.

00:55:35.000 So when she released all these photos, people found out that they opened it up in Photoshop.

00:55:38.000 The preview showed the full original photo of her naked. 0.93

00:55:42.000 And so there was all these photos of Kat naked, which was awesome for her.

00:55:45.000 Kind of like Paris Hilton to her career. 0.99

00:55:47.000 But some of them were not the most flattering of her.

00:55:50.000 So explain this to me again.

00:55:51.000 What happens is the original images were naked and she adjusted them. 0.94

00:55:56.000 Photoshop had a feature where you could publish a web gallery, publish it directly to the web.

00:56:00.000 It's been a long while, but I think that's how the story went.

00:56:03.000 So it actually published layers that were shut off and she had cropped one and again the thumbnail was sort of saved of the full image even though she cropped it within the program.

00:56:10.000 Oh, so how did they access it?

00:56:12.000 They opened it up in Photoshop to look at it, and the information transferred over in Photoshop so you could see the preview.

00:56:18.000 So then she just pretty much leaked all these naked photos. 0.99

00:56:20.000 She should sue the fuck out of Photoshop for her own ignorance. 1.00

00:56:24.000 It benefited her. 0.99

00:56:27.000 There was a program that would look at people's photo bucket accounts back in the day and then procedurally change the file names looking for files that were sort of hidden or not publicized.

00:56:36.000 And so many girls had private photos that they were storing or sending to their long distance boyfriends exposed just by crawling that.

00:56:43.000 There were so many cool things back in the day when the internet was still, like, people were still figuring out. 0.96

00:56:46.000 When the barrier to entry was high, the internet was fucking dope.

00:56:50.000 Like, I'll never forget the bulletin board days where you had to, like, know how to do a dial-out telex program and call some shady dude's computer in a basement who was hosting porn and wears games and all that stuff. 0.95

00:56:59.000 We were talking about...

00:57:00.000 That's all well and good, but it's way better today.

00:57:03.000 That's all nonsense.

00:57:04.000 Well, kind of.

00:57:05.000 It's very nostalgic to go back to those bulletin board days on a 14.4 Mono.

00:57:09.000 It's awesome, man.

00:57:09.000 It was Pavlovian.

00:57:11.000 Pavlovian.

00:57:12.000 I would hear those noises and immediately get erect. 0.98

00:57:14.000 Because I knew that meant porn was coming.

00:57:15.000 Remember, we were talking about Wetrics, how we were both Dreamcast fans, but remember going on AOL's message boards and stuff and getting every single video game possible burnt onto a disc.

00:57:25.000 I used IRC for that.

00:57:27.000 It was the best for Dreamcast games.

00:57:28.000 You ever go into IRC rooms?

00:57:29.000 Yes. 0.99

00:57:29.000 That's where the real creepy shit's going. 0.99

00:57:30.000 Yeah, well, I used to be a big Quake player, so I used to get on IRC all the time. 0.94

00:57:34.000 Were you in the room when they released Q-Test 1?

00:57:36.000 Yeah.

00:57:36.000 Well, no, that was Quake 1. I was in Quake 1. I came in at Quake 2. Yeah, and I followed it through Quake 3 and into Quake 4. Quake 4 is when I realized how to stop and grow up.

00:57:46.000 Now it's like Quake Arena on a web browser. 0.99

00:57:48.000 Yeah, Quake Arena is a shit. 0.99

00:57:50.000 All of it is fucking fun as hell, man. 0.99

00:57:51.000 But it's all just super time-consuming. 0.98

00:57:53.000 We've talked about it a hundred times on this podcast.

00:57:55.000 It's for the drinking game.

00:57:56.000 Quake, Quake, Quake, Quake, Quake, Quake.

00:57:58.000 Ha ha.

00:57:58.000 We're blacking out.

00:57:59.000 Yeah, you're drunk now, bitches. 1.00

00:58:00.000 We mentioned Quake. 1.00

00:58:01.000 Yeah.

00:58:02.000 Next thing you know...

00:58:03.000 So Google TV, dude.

00:58:05.000 Yeah, tell me about...

00:58:05.000 Yes, please.

00:58:06.000 You need to get in on it.

00:58:06.000 Explain me this.

00:58:07.000 It's amazing.

00:58:08.000 So...

00:58:08.000 We were in the kitchen.

00:58:10.000 You popped this up and I made you stop talking because I'm like, this is too good.

00:58:12.000 Threat me with a butter knife.

00:58:13.000 I'm like, you have to stop.

00:58:15.000 We need to talk about this on the podcast.

00:58:17.000 Uh...

00:58:17.000 Google is going to try to own the living room, and it's going to be them, Apple, potentially Comcast, Time Warner, and a few others that are really going to be making the play for being the gateway to media.

00:58:27.000 And Google is crushing it right now.

00:58:29.000 Basically, Google TV, you can buy – I have the Logitech review box, and it has an HDMI pass-through.

00:58:35.000 What does that mean?

00:58:35.000 That means if you have a cable box or a satellite box, you connect that.

00:58:38.000 Instead of going directly to the TV or your receiver, you plug that into the Logitech box.

00:58:42.000 Then that goes to your TV. And what that does, which no other box really does, is gives you ability to layer information on top of your TV. All these other boxes, you've got to switch to another input, and you lose the TV side of things, and it's a different experience, and then you go back to your TV. This one, at any given time, you have an argument about, oh, what was that actor in that went...

00:58:59.000 Boom.

00:58:59.000 You hit the search button on your iPhone, your Android phone, or the keyboard.

00:59:02.000 Type it in.

00:59:03.000 There's IMDB up and running while your stuff's in a picture-in-picture window.

00:59:06.000 You want access to podcasts and videocasts?

00:59:08.000 You hit the home button.

00:59:09.000 Go to their spotlight.

00:59:10.000 There's actually a website that's doing an app where you watch models go down a runway, and it tells you about, like, the fashion they're wearing.

00:59:16.000 And if you want, you press OK, and it pulls up the website.

00:59:19.000 While the video's still going, you can order it right from there.

00:59:21.000 On your TV? On your TV. And it's got a full web.

00:59:23.000 The box is a little underpowered.

00:59:25.000 It's like a little netbook in there.

00:59:26.000 It's a little underpowered. 0.99

00:59:26.000 But this, as a step one, is fucking amazing. 0.99

00:59:29.000 Is there one that's coming out soon that's a better one? 0.97

00:59:32.000 Or is there a better Google TV than the other?

00:59:34.000 Is the Sony one the best?

00:59:35.000 I think the Logitech is a little better than the Sony because of the remotes and the apps themselves.

00:59:38.000 But as long as content providers don't completely fuck this platform over, which they're trying to do left and right because they're all so scared, it will be amazing. 0.85

00:59:46.000 How are they trying to fuck it over? 0.79

00:59:48.000 By blocking their content.

00:59:49.000 Who's doing this?

00:59:51.000 I don't know if I can name names.

00:59:52.000 Name names.

00:59:53.000 Let's boycott. 1.00

00:59:53.000 Let's start a fucking revolution, Kevin. 1.00

00:59:55.000 I'll tell you what. 0.99

00:59:56.000 I wanted to watch a South Park episode the other day, and I went and pulled up South Park's website.

01:00:00.000 Now, again, if I had my laptop, I could pull it up right there and watch the full high-def South Park episode, sit through commercials or whatever would be right there.

01:00:06.000 When I tried to pull it up on my TV, it popped up and said, Oh, you're trying to access this from a Google TV device.

01:00:12.000 Sorry.

01:00:12.000 Wait, is that Comcast?

01:00:13.000 You're blocked right now.

01:00:14.000 No, it was South Park, so I think that's Viacom.

01:00:16.000 I think I'm safe to make fun of them.

01:00:17.000 So Viacom blocks it. 0.98

01:00:19.000 So does Hulu, which is fucking frustrating. 0.97

01:00:22.000 Oh, that's so annoying. 0.97

01:00:23.000 Because the same ads, their worry is that the Google experience is too good.

01:00:28.000 You're sitting on your couch and this content that's for free on the internet is easily accessible.

01:00:32.000 And I go, well, it's the same ads and the same content that I'd have if I turned over here.

01:00:36.000 If you had a Mac Mini hooked up your TV. Yeah, and use my laptop or use my whatever.

01:00:39.000 Someone over there is not getting it.

01:00:41.000 I'm willing to sit through the ad.

01:00:42.000 I'm willing to make it worth your while.

01:00:44.000 It's like when I try to go watch a movie these days.

01:00:46.000 I don't know if you've...

01:00:47.000 I tried to legally acquire content now.

01:00:49.000 I actually tried it the other day.

01:00:50.000 I wanted to watch Jurassic Park.

01:00:51.000 So I checked my Xbox.

01:00:53.000 I checked my video on demand.

01:00:54.000 I checked the Sony network.

01:00:55.000 I checked Netflix.

01:00:57.000 I checked Amazon. 1.00

01:00:58.000 I went through service after service and finally said fuck it. 0.99

01:01:00.000 I went and looked at BitTorrent. 0.99

01:01:01.000 There was the high def rip.

01:01:03.000 There was the Blu-ray rip with all the extras.

01:01:05.000 I clicked and an hour later I'm watching it on my TV. I tried to give somebody money for that movie and was unable to.

01:01:11.000 Same shit happened to me the other two. 0.73

01:01:13.000 It's basically the old guard that hasn't really accepted the new technology. 0.99

01:01:16.000 Yeah, it's this new thing and they're scared of it. 0.87

01:01:18.000 Jurassic Park, that's ridiculous.

01:01:20.000 Jurassic Park, that should be on Netflix streaming.

01:01:23.000 Exactly.

01:01:25.000 I mean, that should be everywhere.

01:01:26.000 It's incredible.

01:01:27.000 When you get Google TV, man, it will surprise you.

01:01:29.000 It's that good.

01:01:30.000 It's really that good.

01:01:31.000 It's very frustrating that people are blocking content, though.

01:01:34.000 Super frustrating.

01:01:35.000 I mean, look, there's ways around it, but...

01:01:36.000 Is there a reason?

01:01:38.000 Do they have a legitimate argument?

01:01:40.000 Is there a Bill Burr RSS feed interaction here?

01:01:44.000 No, there's nothing that makes sense, just like that argument.

01:01:47.000 They're worried that, again, the experience is too good.

01:01:51.000 We can't just give that content away.

01:01:52.000 How can we charge extra for that content?

01:01:54.000 Like Hulu says they're working with Google.

01:01:56.000 They're going to try to charge for Hulu Plus on the Google TV or something like that. 0.97

01:01:59.000 That's fuckery. 1.00

01:02:00.000 It's nickel and diming left and right. 0.99

01:02:02.000 Do you pay for Google TV? Is it a subscription-based service or is it free?

01:02:06.000 See, that's the beauty of it.

01:02:06.000 Google TV is free.

01:02:07.000 Itself is free.

01:02:09.000 It's terrifying.

01:02:09.000 And it's a great overlay.

01:02:10.000 If we really found out that artificial intelligence actually does exist and what it is is Google and that Google figured out a way to fucking program the universe and own everything, I mean, it's so weird.

01:02:21.000 I use a Google Chrome browser.

01:02:23.000 I use Gmail.

01:02:25.000 I mean, come on, man.

01:02:26.000 It's going to be Apple and Google.

01:02:28.000 Wow.

01:02:28.000 And that's going to be the big fight for all of your data and all your media access and all your management.

01:02:32.000 Maybe Google, Amazon. 0.99

01:02:33.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

01:02:34.000 It's going to be right in there. 1.00

01:02:35.000 Did you see the onion bit about Facebook being created by the CIA as a data mining tool?

01:02:40.000 No. 0.98

01:02:40.000 Fucking brilliant. 0.98

01:02:41.000 That's funny. 0.99

01:02:41.000 They basically said that Facebook was launched as a secret program and it took off wildly successful. 0.99

01:02:46.000 They never imagined that citizens would give up all their photos, their likes, their dislikes, where they are, their check-ins, check-outs.

01:02:52.000 It's like, imagine...

01:02:54.000 Forget Google. 0.99

01:02:55.000 That's the data set that's scary as shit. 0.99

01:02:56.000 What's that Google longitude or whatever where it just tracks you all day? 0.99

01:03:00.000 That's even worse to me.

01:03:01.000 Street View.

01:03:02.000 We were talking about Street View.

01:03:04.000 Longitude.

01:03:04.000 You know what that is?

01:03:05.000 What is that?

01:03:06.000 That's where your phone pretty much tells your friends exactly where you are.

01:03:10.000 You could track your girlfriend exactly driving down the street and it's just sending it to Google.

01:03:15.000 It's a great idea, right?

01:03:17.000 It's weird.

01:03:18.000 It's weird how it's just creeping up on us.

01:03:20.000 If it leads to better ads in my email, cool. 0.96

01:03:21.000 But it's just amazing how fucking ambitious Google is. 0.97

01:03:24.000 They're so ambitious. 0.96

01:03:25.000 I mean, the do this and the browser.

01:03:28.000 And cars that drive themselves.

01:03:30.000 Aren't they working on an operating system?

01:03:32.000 They already have Chromium.

01:03:33.000 It's based on Chrome, yeah.

01:03:34.000 And Honeycomb for tablets, which is going to be awesome.

01:03:37.000 Their operating system is available right now?

01:03:39.000 You can download Chromium for certain netbooks.

01:03:42.000 Have you tried it?

01:03:44.000 Yeah, it's not where it needs to be net.

01:03:46.000 The idea is that in the future, cloud computing is going to lead to...

01:03:49.000 I mean, we're going to laugh at the fact that this has a processor, that has a processor, that computer behind you has RAM and chips in it.

01:03:56.000 We're going to laugh at that.

01:03:56.000 What a waste of resources.

01:03:58.000 It's going to be...

01:03:58.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:59.000 Your phone's going to be streaming, right?

01:04:00.000 Basically, yeah.

01:04:01.000 Basically, all you need is whatever technology needs to happen to stream a high-def signal at 60 or 30 to 60 frames a second to whatever device there is.

01:04:09.000 So the idea is that in the future, you'll just have a screen or you'll walk into a hotel, you'll sit at a terminal, you'll punch in your info or it'll scan your retina or you'll pee in a cup, however they'll do it, and all of a sudden, your desktop appears like that. 0.99

01:04:20.000 All of your shit's on it. 0.99

01:04:21.000 You leave. 1.00

01:04:22.000 You pick up your phone.

01:04:23.000 Your desktop appears on it.

01:04:25.000 That's the future of cloud computing.

01:04:26.000 Everything's going to be stored and processed in servers that we don't see because it'll be beamed quick enough, and it already exists today.

01:04:32.000 And Phantom's going to bring it to you.

01:04:34.000 Phantom?

01:04:35.000 Phantom?

01:04:35.000 Yeah.

01:04:37.000 That was a vaporware console.

01:04:38.000 But if you look at OnLive, which is a gaming service, it's not quite there yet, but the idea is that you buy one box. 0.94

01:04:43.000 Did you guys just geek the fuck out? 1.00

01:04:45.000 Shit, yeah. 1.00

01:04:46.000 You did, right? 1.00

01:04:46.000 I just want to check. 1.00

01:04:47.000 Phantom was supposed to be a console that would sit in your living room and pull games out of the cloud, essentially.

01:04:52.000 And you'd never have to buy a disc or whatever, and you could play from the comfort of your couch.

01:04:55.000 It's like streaming video games.

01:04:57.000 Yeah.

01:04:57.000 And it was fast enough, supposedly, to be able to play where there's no drop in frame rate, where you could actually, you know...

01:05:04.000 And that was all bullshit. 0.96

01:05:05.000 That was all a money laundering scheme so some dude could crash Ferraris down to Payton Canyon or whatever. 1.00

01:05:09.000 Oh, is that guy?

01:05:10.000 Yeah.

01:05:10.000 Oh, I remember that.

01:05:11.000 But there's a company called OnLive that is one of many.

01:05:14.000 There's another app called Gaiku.

01:05:14.000 I heard that was pretty legit.

01:05:15.000 We used it the other day, and it's got its hiccups, but imagine when you log in a service, you'd see thousands of Windows streaming Call of Duty and streaming Gears of War and all this stuff, and you can go and click on it, and those are actually people playing live.

01:05:27.000 Wow.

01:05:27.000 And you're spectating all their games and they're all streaming in real time.

01:05:30.000 And if you want to play the game they're playing, you press a button.

01:05:33.000 It pulls you out of it and launches you right into that game.

01:05:35.000 Wow.

01:05:35.000 That exists today.

01:05:36.000 Now it's not a 5 out of 5 just yet.

01:05:38.000 What is it now?

01:05:39.000 4?

01:05:39.000 3?

01:05:39.000 Probably 3. 2 or 3. I think is what we gave it.

01:05:42.000 Wow.

01:05:42.000 But the promise is there.

01:05:44.000 So that's what Google's trying to do with Chromium. 0.99

01:05:46.000 They're trying to make this operating system where you don't store shit locally. 0.98

01:05:49.000 It's all Google Docs and Google Paint and Google Image Video Editor and all that shit. 0.95

01:05:53.000 It's all going to live in the cloud. 0.52

01:05:54.000 Wow.

01:05:54.000 They're so ambitious.

01:05:56.000 It's so creepy.

01:05:57.000 They're right.

01:05:57.000 They're absolutely right on that one.

01:06:00.000 Microsoft always creeped me out, too.

01:06:01.000 Bill Gates always creeped me out.

01:06:02.000 Anyone who's that ambitious, trying that hard, come on, man.

01:06:08.000 What's going on?

01:06:09.000 Why does that creep you out?

01:06:10.000 I don't know.

01:06:11.000 Because they have so many different products and they're so successful.

01:06:14.000 You're very ambitious.

01:06:15.000 Not in that way.

01:06:16.000 I don't want to control anybody else's information.

01:06:19.000 The thing that always bugs me, here's a perfect example, like the iPad or the iPhone.

01:06:24.000 Exactly.

01:06:25.000 I made a video a long time ago where it pretty much broke down one of the two iPhones.

01:06:32.000 And you guys actually played it on your show.

01:06:33.000 Remember when I had the – I'm an old iPhone and I'm an old cell phone from three years ago.

01:06:38.000 And it was like I have a camera.

01:06:39.000 Yeah, you and Jessica did that.

01:06:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:06:41.000 It was a pretty big video and stuff like that.

01:06:43.000 But it was based on basic things like the iPad where the first iPad didn't have a camera.

01:06:48.000 The second one has a camera and stuff like that.

01:06:50.000 There's so many things.

01:06:50.000 Do you think that Apple is actually doing that on purpose?

01:06:53.000 Is that a part of their market?

01:06:55.000 Absolutely.

01:06:56.000 They'll do the research and do enough focus groups to find out what features they have to include to make it amazing, palatable, magical, revolutionary, whatever.

01:07:04.000 And then they'll go, okay, the next version will have all these things.

01:07:07.000 Just like when this launched without picture messaging and all sorts of stuff.

01:07:10.000 Right.

01:07:10.000 They know what the consumer is willing to put up with, especially those early adopters.

01:07:14.000 That picture messaging thing was bullshit. 0.99

01:07:16.000 Typing in the code, yeah. 1.00

01:07:17.000 That was the most ridiculous thing ever.

01:07:20.000 Go to AT&T, wireless dot whatever, and put in this login and this password. 0.99

01:07:23.000 And it was a tiny ass little image too.

01:07:25.000 It wasn't a full image. 0.99

01:07:26.000 It was ridiculous. 0.98

01:07:27.000 What's ridiculous to me, and not to get on a nerdy rant, but that's all I really have to offer this world, is the fucking fact that if, let's say I have Verizon. 0.98

01:07:34.000 And I'm paying $40 a month for their data plan, and AT&T's no better. 0.95

01:07:38.000 And then if I want to tether that phone to my laptop to use this as a modem, I've got to pay an extra fee, but it still eats away at the bandwidth that I'm paying $40 for.

01:07:47.000 Is that because the FCC and senators don't realize that it's all the same bandwidth?

01:07:52.000 No, I think it's Verizon making money.

01:07:54.000 Well, of course. 1.00

01:07:55.000 Verizon's kind of shitty with their fucking... 0.99

01:07:56.000 Can't we get that changed? 1.00

01:07:57.000 AT&T does the same.

01:07:58.000 They charge you extra to tether, but it's the same bandwidth that I'm paying monthly for.

01:08:02.000 I shouldn't get doubly screwed to use that.

01:08:03.000 Their data service is not very good.

01:08:05.000 I had an AT&T phone of iPhone, and then I got a Verizon iPhone recently.

01:08:09.000 And one thing I noticed is that I'll have a full 3G signal on Verizon, and then I'll start downloading something, like an app or something, and it'll kick off 3G. AT&T's data is better than Verizon.

01:08:20.000 Have you seen their LTE network?

01:08:21.000 Long-term evolution?

01:08:22.000 No. 1.00

01:08:23.000 That shit is fast. 1.00

01:08:24.000 Yeah, that's new, right? 1.00

01:08:25.000 Yeah, it's wireless.

01:08:26.000 Where is it?

01:08:27.000 Verizon's is out.

01:08:28.000 No, but I mean where?

01:08:29.000 Can you get it everywhere?

01:08:30.000 No.

01:08:30.000 I don't know about here.

01:08:31.000 You can get in Los Angeles.

01:08:32.000 Is it pretty common?

01:08:34.000 Spotty?

01:08:35.000 Spotty.

01:08:35.000 By the end of the year.

01:08:36.000 HTC Thunderbolt has that, right?

01:08:38.000 That looks pretty badass.

01:08:40.000 Even in our little studio, which is like, it's kryptonite to all signals.

01:08:44.000 It's a little shoebox.

01:08:45.000 But in there, the LTE was as fast as a cable modem was.

01:08:48.000 Wow.

01:08:49.000 That is, again, the whole net neutrality thing that I'm worried about.

01:08:52.000 You'll buy a Verizon wireless LTE router for your home, and you'll wirelessly pull down your bandwidth and share it with everybody else because it's that fast now, wireless.

01:09:01.000 Wow.

01:09:02.000 There's a lot of things I have to change with cell phones, though.

01:09:05.000 Batteries.

01:09:05.000 Palm Pre Plus I got stuck with with Verizon.

01:09:07.000 I went out so bad, and it's going to cost me now $350 to cancel.

01:09:12.000 And I've had it for a year and a half, almost a year, and I just want to cancel.

01:09:15.000 I just...

01:09:16.000 Yeah, that phone seemed real promising before it actually came out, and I was like, well, it's kind of shitty and wonky.

01:09:20.000 They dropped it.

01:09:21.000 Dude, I got a new Droid, a Droid 2 Global, because I love Verizon service.

01:09:27.000 I had a Blackberry before, and I wanted to get Verizon service, but I wanted it to be global.

01:09:32.000 So I said, oh, well, here's a solution.

01:09:34.000 All these people love the Droid.

01:09:35.000 I mean, I heard Howard Stern talking about how he loves his Droid.

01:09:37.000 I got it. 0.99

01:09:38.000 It's like a drunk, retarded iPhone. 1.00

01:09:41.000 It's like stupid. 1.00

01:09:43.000 The first time I used it, I go to slide the screen to open it up, and it's like shake, stutter, shake, stutter, shake, stutter. 1.00

01:09:49.000 I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:09:51.000 Really?

01:09:51.000 It doesn't even know how to harness how much power it has.

01:09:54.000 That's the thing.

01:09:55.000 It's scared by its own abilities.

01:09:56.000 I played with it for 20 minutes and the battery was half drained. 0.98

01:09:59.000 I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. 0.99

01:10:01.000 I mean, that's ridiculous. 1.00

01:10:02.000 Like, I can't even fuck around and just play with it. 0.99

01:10:05.000 I went online, I checked what it looks like on websites, I checked my email. 0.99

01:10:09.000 20 minutes and it was half dead.

01:10:10.000 I was like, that's just preposterous.

01:10:12.000 And people are like, oh no, you've got to get an application command...

01:10:16.000 Yeah, power command and shut off this and do this. 1.00

01:10:18.000 No, I don't.

01:10:19.000 It's like, I don't want to hack my devices anymore.

01:10:21.000 I just want them to work.

01:10:22.000 And that's the fundamental difference.

01:10:23.000 There's so many people that have this thing about... 1.00

01:10:26.000 Fuck, jailbreaking, man. 1.00

01:10:27.000 That's too complicated. 1.00

01:10:28.000 There's so many people, though, that have this anti-Apple sentiment. 0.98

01:10:31.000 These threads come up on my message board all the time, and it's so dumb. 0.99

01:10:36.000 It's the dumbest conversation ever. 0.99

01:10:39.000 Everyone's like, match up for bags. 1.00

01:10:41.000 That's the number one argument. 0.99

01:10:43.000 If I was a fucking fag and I could use a Mac, I don't know how to use a real computer. 0.99

01:10:48.000 To be fair, if you want to bypass the line at the Genius Bar, you can by swallowing. 1.00

01:10:51.000 Really?

01:10:52.000 It's a little known thing.

01:10:53.000 What about girls?

01:10:54.000 It's AppleCare.

01:10:55.000 What about those girls at the Genius Bar?

01:10:56.000 Do you swallow them too?

01:10:58.000 Swallow whatever they've got?

01:10:59.000 Whatever you've got. 1.00

01:11:00.000 It's a crap shoot. 0.94

01:11:03.000 I'm a hardcore Unix guy. 0.99

01:11:05.000 Command lines only.

01:11:06.000 Switch to Windows.

01:11:07.000 I was a network administrator back in the day. 0.99

01:11:08.000 When I switch to Mac, I'm like, listen, shit works. 0.96

01:11:11.000 And if I really want to drill down and get deep, I can pop open a terminal window and do whatever I need to do. 1.00

01:11:16.000 The people that are anti-Mac, just like the Mac people who are anti-PC, it's all fucking stupid. 1.00

01:11:22.000 It's a dumb team thing. 1.00

01:11:23.000 And the Macs are the liberals. 1.00

01:11:24.000 The Macs are the weak pussies. 1.00

01:11:27.000 And then for Macs, the PCs are all Sarah Palin's. 1.00

01:11:30.000 Yeah.

01:11:30.000 Same thing with consoles.

01:11:31.000 PlayStation owners are like, fuck you, 360 fanboy. 1.00

01:11:35.000 Xbox owners are like, PlayStation's for douchebags. 1.00

01:11:37.000 No one wants to be wrong.

01:11:39.000 No one wants to admit that they might have bought the console that has a problem or spent money on a game that had a problem.

01:11:43.000 They don't want to be right.

01:11:44.000 And it's like, you know what?

01:11:45.000 You're not going to be right all the time.

01:11:46.000 It's with everything.

01:11:46.000 It's Protestant versus the Catholics.

01:11:49.000 That whole Mac versus PC thing is such a strange one, though, to me.

01:11:54.000 I wonder how many people, whether they're politicians or people trying to appeal to a certain class of society, will choose a PC over a Mac to let you know, hey, I'm a part of the proletariat.

01:12:05.000 Like Obama saying, hey, I got an iPad.

01:12:07.000 When he made a big deal out of that.

01:12:08.000 He's like, I use an iPad.

01:12:09.000 I'm a president of the United States.

01:12:10.000 Yeah.

01:12:11.000 Must be, right?

01:12:12.000 Yeah.

01:12:12.000 Sending a message.

01:12:13.000 This is a higher-end president.

01:12:14.000 This is a more connected… A multi-touch sensitive.

01:12:17.000 He was the first president to bring a laptop to the White House.

01:12:21.000 Are you serious?

01:12:22.000 Yeah.

01:12:22.000 Well, I remember he wouldn't give up his Blackberry at the time, which I thought was cool.

01:12:25.000 Yeah, because it wasn't secure.

01:12:27.000 Yeah.

01:12:27.000 You know, one thing I wish the iPad had was I can't believe it doesn't have his multiple users.

01:12:31.000 I hate it.

01:12:31.000 I hate it when people want to, like, borrow my iPad.

01:12:33.000 I'm like, okay, I'm logged into Facebook, Twitter, email, everything.

01:12:37.000 You mean girls.

01:12:38.000 You mean girls.

01:12:39.000 Why doesn't that...

01:12:39.000 That seems like a basic thing that I should have by now.

01:12:42.000 This is what you say. 1.00

01:12:42.000 Listen, bitch, get your own. 1.00

01:12:44.000 That's what you gotta say. 1.00

01:12:45.000 You gotta fuck her correctly, okay? 1.00

01:12:47.000 Leave her all panting and sweating. 1.00

01:12:49.000 Then she goes, can I use your iPad?

01:12:51.000 You go... 1.00

01:12:51.000 Listen, bitch, you know I love you. 1.00

01:12:53.000 Get your own fucking iPad. 1.00

01:12:54.000 And she'll giggle, ha-ha, and she'll drop it. 1.00

01:12:57.000 Why? 1.00

01:12:57.000 Because you fucked her correctly, Brian. 1.00

01:12:59.000 Okay? 1.00

01:13:00.000 Is that therein lies the issue?

01:13:01.000 Yes.

01:13:01.000 Or get another iPad.

01:13:02.000 You can have mine. 1.00

01:13:03.000 You can fucking use it. 1.00

01:13:03.000 All right, deal. 1.00

01:13:04.000 You can give it to her.

01:13:05.000 Tell her she can use it as long as you're looking over her shoulder because she's in like a downward dog position and you're behind her. 1.00

01:13:10.000 Then you can play all the fucking dungeon raid you want. 0.98

01:13:12.000 Did you learn to play the drums using rock band or have you always been a drummer? 0.99

01:13:15.000 Self-taught.

01:13:16.000 Been drumming for a while.

01:13:17.000 Have you been in a band before?

01:13:19.000 Several. 0.99

01:13:19.000 Several shitty bands. 0.99

01:13:20.000 Jazz bands, hardcore rap metal bands. 0.99

01:13:23.000 Jazz bands?

01:13:23.000 Everything, yeah.

01:13:23.000 Really?

01:13:24.000 What kind of jazz?

01:13:25.000 You name it.

01:13:26.000 I mean, we did Take Five. 0.63

01:13:27.000 What bands have the biggest percentage of douchebags in them? 1.00

01:13:32.000 What music? 0.93

01:13:32.000 I mean, they all do. 0.93

01:13:34.000 It just depends on what douchebag you are. 0.99

01:13:36.000 Christian rock. 1.00

01:13:37.000 Jars of clay are fucking hardcore. 0.99

01:13:38.000 Christian rock rules, dude. 0.99

01:13:40.000 I don't know what you're talking about. 0.96

01:13:41.000 They all have douchebags in them, but I think... 1.00

01:13:44.000 That's the number one issue, though, with bands, right?

01:13:46.000 I mean, Eddie Bravo has been in bands his whole life, and he said the number one issue has always been dealing with trying to manage all the egos in the band.

01:13:54.000 It's like herding cats, and that's what kills so many bands.

01:13:57.000 It's not...

01:13:57.000 Herding cats.

01:13:57.000 It is!

01:13:58.000 Running around like mad.

01:14:00.000 You can't hurt cats.

01:14:00.000 You can't.

01:14:01.000 It's perfect. 0.69

01:14:02.000 And I've seen that with many bands that I've been in, but it's just, man, it's fucking hard to make music these days.

01:14:07.000 As easy as it gets, with distribution and the tools to make it, it's still really fucking hard to make good music these days.

01:14:13.000 Has that always been your dream, to be in a band?

01:14:15.000 I would quit it all in a second.

01:14:16.000 I'd quit everything in a second to go make music for a living.

01:14:19.000 Would you?

01:14:20.000 Of life.

01:14:20.000 Really?

01:14:21.000 Theoretically, yes, but obviously I haven't done that yet.

01:14:24.000 How old are you?

01:14:25.000 I'm 28. Oh, you're still okay.

01:14:27.000 Nah, I'm done.

01:14:27.000 I got no tread on my tires.

01:14:29.000 No, dude, you're young.

01:14:30.000 If you were 38, I would go, ooh.

01:14:31.000 Yeah.

01:14:32.000 Good luck.

01:14:33.000 I have music.

01:14:34.000 You know what? 0.97

01:14:35.000 I fancy myself a non-judgmental person, but I fucking judge people when they look at me and tell me that they don't appreciate music. 0.95

01:14:41.000 And I've met a surprising number of them recently. 0.92

01:14:44.000 Who tells you they don't appreciate music?

01:14:46.000 I know a lot of people who say, like, I just don't get music.

01:14:49.000 Explain.

01:14:49.000 Give me one.

01:14:50.000 You know what?

01:14:52.000 I don't want to hear your songs. 1.00

01:14:54.000 You want me to suck your dick or what? 1.00

01:14:57.000 I ain't here to listen to your music. 1.00

01:14:59.000 That's the kind of hooker Kevin gets too. 1.00

01:15:01.000 A really whiny hooker that doesn't like the house music I blast. 1.00

01:15:04.000 That's a crackhead Hugh Grant type hooker. 1.00

01:15:07.000 Remember that? 1.00

01:15:08.000 That girl became famous for a little bit. 0.97

01:15:09.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:15:10.000 After Hugh Grant got that blowjob. 0.99

01:15:12.000 So what like... 0.99

01:15:13.000 Explain.

01:15:13.000 I've met people that will say they're not into music and I don't get that because to me it's a universal language just as much math but I think even more so than math.

01:15:21.000 It's inherent.

01:15:22.000 There should be a love or a sense or an understanding of rhythm.

01:15:24.000 There's something special about it.

01:15:26.000 There's something unique about it that we're not really addressing.

01:15:28.000 It changes the way your physical body feels.

01:15:31.000 It makes you more excited.

01:15:32.000 It does things to you.

01:15:34.000 It inspires you.

01:15:34.000 It makes you feel good.

01:15:36.000 It brings you back to moments of your childhood.

01:15:38.000 It's one of the most incredible forms of art that we have.

01:15:42.000 I would agree.

01:15:42.000 And it's so weird.

01:15:44.000 And the science behind some of it.

01:15:45.000 I wanted to know why house music was something that persistent thump got me up and made me want to move.

01:15:51.000 And it seems to move some people and whatnot.

01:15:52.000 And it's like lower end frequencies are triggered to primal portions of our brain that we're sensitive to hearing approaching animals and elephant herds and all that stuff.

01:16:00.000 So it triggers that, oh, I better wake up, be alert, got to get going.

01:16:04.000 And so that persistent thump drives you and keeps you going.

01:16:06.000 There's so much craziness going on. 1.00

01:16:08.000 So tribal music literally fires up shit in your brain. 1.00

01:16:11.000 Wow, you should wake up to that in the morning. 1.00

01:16:15.000 I play Stampeding Elephants when I wake up.

01:16:17.000 That's all I listen to.

01:16:18.000 Dude, you need to get on a podcast with Eddie Bravo.

01:16:21.000 We need to have you and him together because he's got some crazy theories about music and the 12 notes and the 12 astrological signs.

01:16:29.000 Isn't there a 13th astrological sign?

01:16:31.000 I think we just found one, right?

01:16:33.000 Yeah.

01:16:33.000 And it shifted people.

01:16:34.000 They were like, oh, my horoscopes have been wrong.

01:16:36.000 I'm like...

01:16:36.000 Yeah, let me Google that real quick.

01:16:38.000 But I like being a Leo.

01:16:39.000 I don't want to be a whatever... 0.53

01:16:41.000 I forget what I'm now with the new method.

01:16:43.000 Are you really something...

01:16:44.000 Different.

01:16:45.000 Yeah, it changed a lot of people.

01:16:46.000 You were a Leo before?

01:16:47.000 Of course, you're a Leo too.

01:16:48.000 We're both Leos.

01:16:49.000 Yeah, but what's yours?

01:16:50.000 What is your date?

01:16:51.000 August 4th and you're August 11th.

01:16:52.000 Yeah, you're not a real Leo, right?

01:16:53.000 I like to think Miss Cleo cut you off. 0.88

01:16:55.000 I'm still a Leo. 1.00

01:16:56.000 They cut you off, bitch. 1.00

01:16:57.000 Are you serious? 1.00

01:16:57.000 They cut you off, bitch. 1.00

01:16:58.000 I'm totally a Leo, man. 1.00

01:16:59.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:16:59.000 Let me say August 10th. 1.00

01:17:00.000 Nope.

01:17:01.000 You're cut off, son, through September 16th.

01:17:03.000 You were August 9th?

01:17:04.000 Is that what you said?

01:17:04.000 August 4th.

01:17:05.000 August 4th. 1.00

01:17:06.000 It's over, bitch. 1.00

01:17:07.000 I know. 1.00

01:17:07.000 What do I know? 1.00

01:17:08.000 I'm like something gay. 1.00

01:17:08.000 You're cancer. 1.00

01:17:09.000 You guys subscribe to this? 1.00

01:17:11.000 I would be a cancer.

01:17:12.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:17:13.000 Not really.

01:17:14.000 I think Miss Cleo got a panel together in her ivory tower and said, listen, astrology is kind of losing the Google searches. 0.97

01:17:20.000 Let's create a new sign.

01:17:21.000 Sweat this new crafty one, though.

01:17:24.000 O-P-H-I-U-C-H-U-S. How's that spelled?

01:17:29.000 What do you say that?

01:17:30.000 How do you pronounce that?

01:17:33.000 That's the new one.

01:17:34.000 That's November 29th to December 17th.

01:17:36.000 So if you have that crafty new Zodiac sign.

01:17:40.000 I don't know.

01:17:41.000 You know how the moon affects the ocean, right?

01:17:46.000 The tides and everything like that.

01:17:48.000 Have you ever thought that maybe the moon changes us?

01:17:52.000 Because we're like, what, 99% water? 0.98

01:17:54.000 Wouldn't it fuck with us too? 0.99

01:17:55.000 We would have some own tide and shit going on. 0.99

01:17:58.000 But is that a yearly thing? 0.96

01:18:01.000 Yeah, the moon cycle is a year.

01:18:03.000 That's what seasons is, right?

01:18:04.000 The real problem is it would have to be a real radical, drastic change for them to measure it.

01:18:09.000 Just because it changes the way you feel, statistically it might not show a significant jump as far as disease or heart attacks or assaults or anything crazy, because I don't think there's ever been anything statistically connected.

01:18:22.000 To lunar activity.

01:18:24.000 But when you hear something like lunatic, you hear the expression lunatic, and then it's connected to full moons.

01:18:31.000 That is lunar. 0.73

01:18:32.000 That is the moon.

01:18:33.000 I mean, that is ancient.

01:18:35.000 There's something to it.

01:18:36.000 There's something to it.

01:18:36.000 And it might be as simple as when the moon is out, people start freaking because you can see at night.

01:18:42.000 You can see at night.

01:18:42.000 It's a full moon.

01:18:43.000 Great.

01:18:43.000 I can see who I'm mugging.

01:18:45.000 Exactly.

01:18:45.000 I can see who I'm raving.

01:18:47.000 Yeah.

01:18:48.000 It could be that easy.

01:18:50.000 It really could.

01:18:51.000 I mean, that's a big difference.

01:18:53.000 Or you grow up with imagery of, oh, full moon, and you hear that's when the crazies come out and the wolves howl, and you go, all right, now's my time.

01:18:58.000 Well, that's one of the things I was pissed off. 0.95

01:18:59.000 Let me throw on some MMA shirts and go punch some ladies. 1.00

01:19:02.000 The dear woman. 1.00

01:19:04.000 Fucking no-explode! 1.00

01:19:05.000 This Dear Woman thing, one of the things that pissed me off is the women, not crosses, excuse me, burning women at the stake, the witches, burning witches at the stake. 1.00

01:19:13.000 They've connected that to ergot. 0.93

01:19:15.000 They've connected that to fungus that grew on wheat because they had a late frost, and then it fucked up their crops, and the wheat was frozen.

01:19:24.000 And then when you have wheat that...

01:19:26.000 If you freeze food and then thaw it out and then freeze it again, it's really dangerous.

01:19:32.000 Yeah, it's not good. 0.99

01:19:33.000 Bacteria and all this other shit. 0.97

01:19:34.000 Yeah, and fungus. 0.92

01:19:35.000 And one of the things that they've shown in... 0.99

01:19:40.000 Grain samples from that era, from that time, the Salem witch trials, was that these fucking people were high on LSD. They didn't even know it. 0.99

01:19:47.000 They were eating ergot.

01:19:49.000 They were eating this bread that has this fungus on it, and it has a massive psychological effect.

01:19:54.000 So of course they thought there was rich craft.

01:19:56.000 Of course they thought they were under spell.

01:19:59.000 They were so confused. 1.00

01:20:00.000 They were high as fuck on LSD. Probably massive, crazy, almost psychotic doses. 1.00

01:20:05.000 Well, in daily doses, upon doses, upon doses.

01:20:08.000 I mean, that's not like that.

01:20:09.000 I mean, the half-life is there, but it'll compound in your system.

01:20:13.000 And by the way, there's modern versions of what the CIA did in France, where they dosed up an entire town.

01:20:20.000 They put it in their bread, and they monitored these people.

01:20:23.000 And dude, people died.

01:20:25.000 They committed suicide.

01:20:26.000 They jumped off buildings.

01:20:27.000 I mean... 1.00

01:20:28.000 People lost their fucking minds. 1.00

01:20:29.000 Some people never came back and they did this across the board. 1.00

01:20:32.000 They did this to children.

01:20:33.000 They did it to old people. 1.00

01:20:35.000 So we know that you can cause mass chaos and hysteria by just dosing everybody up with acid.

01:20:41.000 Back then, you didn't pass on bread.

01:20:43.000 There was no gluten intolerant.

01:20:46.000 You ate your bread because you might not get anything else to eat.

01:20:50.000 I'm self-beaching.

01:20:50.000 I'm sorry.

01:20:51.000 I'm just going to purge.

01:20:52.000 I'm cleansing.

01:20:53.000 Do you go crazy when you hear people cleansing?

01:20:55.000 I'm coming to cleanse.

01:20:56.000 Yeah, it's not for me.

01:20:57.000 Cayenne pepper and lemon juice.

01:20:59.000 That's all I got right now.

01:21:00.000 And I go to boot camp and then hate myself but buy a purse and throw up into it.

01:21:04.000 It's cleansing. 0.98

01:21:05.000 Everybody wants to fix what they've already fucked up. 1.00

01:21:07.000 I did that shit for seven days where you just drink lemon water, charcoal, and you can't eat anything. 1.00

01:21:12.000 Charcoal? 1.00

01:21:13.000 Wait a minute.

01:21:14.000 Charcoal is one of the things you have to do. 1.00

01:21:16.000 Before you do anything, you have to buy all this fucking shit from GNC. One of the things was charcoal, milk thistle, all this bullshit. 1.00

01:21:24.000 I don't know why. 0.99

01:21:25.000 I guess it was so you don't die. 1.00

01:21:27.000 I think the charcoal maybe absorbs shit. 0.99

01:21:30.000 Don't they make you do that for poison? 0.99

01:21:31.000 I think for poison, yeah.

01:21:32.000 They absorb stuff.

01:21:33.000 I remember that for dogs. 1.00

01:21:35.000 When dogs eat something poisonous, you've got to make them eat a fucking briquette. 0.99

01:21:38.000 Whenever I'm at the grill, I crack a little one and just pop it just in case. 1.00

01:21:41.000 Like 5-HTP. You want to have it in your system.

01:21:42.000 Is that really good for you, Brian?

01:21:44.000 I don't think it is.

01:21:46.000 It didn't seem good for you.

01:21:47.000 What happened to your...

01:21:48.000 What did you do with this cleanse?

01:21:50.000 It pretty much made you lose weight.

01:21:52.000 Did you lose weight?

01:21:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:54.000 You're fucking throwing up. 1.00

01:21:55.000 You're eating charcoal. 1.00

01:21:55.000 No, no. 1.00

01:21:56.000 You're just not eating anything except lemon water.

01:21:58.000 It was like 12 pounds. 0.97

01:21:59.000 I'm shitting on the weather and we're making dinner. 0.99

01:22:01.000 What people don't understand is that completely fucks with your metabolism. 0.98

01:22:05.000 But when you do something like that and you lose weight where you're just not eating anything, your metabolism gets jacked.

01:22:10.000 And then when you eat things, it's harder to burn them off because you don't have as much energy.

01:22:14.000 Your body's in fear that it's not going to have it anymore, so it stores it all.

01:22:16.000 It just locks it all up.

01:22:17.000 And you get super lethargic.

01:22:18.000 But the beautiful thing about that diet is that if you reintroduce food into your system after 12 days, you can find out allergies a lot more accurately than if, say, you might be afraid of rice or something.

01:22:33.000 We'll do it.

01:22:33.000 It's not like we're doing it to find out if you have an issue with b-ball.

01:22:35.000 What it does is it does kind of.

01:22:37.000 It does reset your system.

01:22:39.000 It resets everything for you.

01:22:40.000 So then you're slowly introducing food back into your diet.

01:22:43.000 So I think you start off with rice and you immediately can tell if anything affects you with this rice.

01:22:50.000 And then you bring in like whatever.

01:22:52.000 And it's kind of cool for that way.

01:22:53.000 You analyze your diet slowly through that.

01:22:55.000 And then you apologize on behalf of all men on YouTube.

01:22:58.000 That's the next step.

01:22:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:59.000 I apologize on behalf of all men for our selfish behavior.

01:23:07.000 Please take me into your bosoms. 1.00

01:23:10.000 It's just so ridiculous. 0.98

01:23:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:12.000 What about cunts, buddy? 1.00

01:23:14.000 What about cunts? 1.00

01:23:14.000 Because they're out there, okay? 1.00

01:23:15.000 And I hope you get one. 0.95

01:23:17.000 And I hope she wrecks it. 0.95

01:23:18.000 She wrecks the whole thing. 0.75

01:23:20.000 Because you let her in, I worship you, oh wonderful magical woman.

01:23:26.000 Sounds like Superman's dad.

01:23:28.000 No, the guy that came to kill Superman?

01:23:30.000 Zod?

01:23:30.000 Doesn't he sound like Zod?

01:23:32.000 The unibrow guy?

01:23:35.000 Wonderful women. 0.87

01:23:36.000 I want to massage your calves with goat's milk and have a loot for you. 0.97

01:23:40.000 Massage with yogurt. 1.00

01:23:42.000 I want to massage your buttocks with goat's yogurt. 1.00

01:23:45.000 I want to weep on your vagina. 1.00

01:23:48.000 I'm not worthy of such a magical place. 1.00

01:23:53.000 I don't want to fuck you tonight, sweetheart. 1.00

01:23:54.000 I just want to look at it. 1.00

01:23:55.000 These guys stare at it and read it Russian poetry.

01:23:57.000 These guys, by the way, have a whole bunch of other videos where how do men find real feminism inside them and feminine energy inside them.

01:24:06.000 It's like, it's so...

01:24:07.000 It's enanami. 1.00

01:24:08.000 Just get to a goddamn powerlifting gym, son! 1.00

01:24:12.000 Quickly! 1.00

01:24:12.000 You think that's what's missing from their life, is CrossFit? 1.00

01:24:14.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:24:14.000 Creatines, squats, deadlifts. 1.00

01:24:16.000 Fuck squats. 1.00

01:24:17.000 Someone needs to fucking tackle you at some point in your life, okay? 1.00

01:24:20.000 If you don't know how easy it is to get knocked off your feet, you need to know that shit, bitch. 1.00

01:24:24.000 You need to work on your base, okay? 1.00

01:24:26.000 You need to work on your sprawl, get your shit together, alright? 1.00

01:24:29.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:24:29.000 What the fuck are you doing making YouTube videos for broken bitches? 1.00

01:24:33.000 Stop it, dude. 1.00

01:24:35.000 Goddamn, stop it. 1.00

01:24:35.000 You've got no ground technique. 1.00

01:24:36.000 This is what you need.

01:24:37.000 Go play the Frisbee.

01:24:38.000 Kettlebells.

01:24:38.000 I got them.

01:24:39.000 I'm going to make a video.

01:24:40.000 I'm going to show you guys how not to be little queens.

01:24:42.000 I'm serious.

01:24:42.000 Apology video on behalf of those dudes.

01:24:44.000 That's a good idea.

01:24:45.000 We're going to do that.

01:24:45.000 We're going to do that after we're done here today.

01:24:47.000 Reving car engines.

01:24:48.000 Yeah, we'll see that.

01:24:49.000 That'll be our next video vlog.

01:24:51.000 We've got to give a shout-out, by the way, to Corey Loschuk, who did these two videos of Bobby Lee from one of the past episodes.

01:24:58.000 It's on Joe Rogan's website, JoeRogan.net.

01:25:00.000 He fucking took this audio of Bobby telling these two stories. 0.91

01:25:04.000 By the way, it's Podcast 76. Fucking hilarious. 0.99

01:25:08.000 He did a really good job on this. 0.97

01:25:10.000 Dude, brilliant stuff.

01:25:11.000 I forgot how funny those stories were.

01:25:13.000 And one of them is Bobby getting in trouble the very first day this girl showed up at work, he farted in her face. 0.99

01:25:18.000 She's sitting there reading her script, eating yogurt, and he walks up and sticks his ass on her nose and farts right on her face. 0.99

01:25:25.000 And she's crying, and one guy attacks him, and she was going to sue him, and he had to buy her a gift certificate for Brooke Williams to get massages and shit. 1.00

01:25:34.000 I love Bobby Lee. 0.99

01:25:35.000 And a sinus cleanse.

01:25:36.000 Bobby Lee's awesome.

01:25:36.000 And the story is just brilliant.

01:25:38.000 It's so goddamn funny.

01:25:40.000 And this guy put it to animation. 0.94

01:25:42.000 It's so good, man.

01:25:43.000 He did an awesome job.

01:25:45.000 So, Corey, thank you very much, man.

01:25:47.000 Check these out.

01:25:47.000 Thank you very much, dude.

01:25:48.000 Those are awesome. 1.00

01:25:49.000 And anybody else who wants to do one of those, too, fucking get on that shit. 0.99

01:25:52.000 I know there's a lot of really talented people out there. 1.00

01:25:55.000 I met Brian off the internet.

01:25:57.000 Yeah.

01:25:57.000 Brian and I met him.

01:25:58.000 Yeah.

01:25:59.000 Craigslist.

01:26:00.000 I'm trying to stick with my religion.

01:26:02.000 Keep it in the fan.

01:26:05.000 I can't believe J-Date even exists.

01:26:07.000 Like, what Jewish guy is going to pay for that? 0.98

01:26:09.000 Oh, no.

01:26:09.000 They will, man.

01:26:10.000 They only want Jews. 1.00

01:26:12.000 I have friends that are Jews that only want Jews. 1.00

01:26:14.000 Really?

01:26:14.000 Yeah.

01:26:15.000 Anything other than a Jew. 1.00

01:26:16.000 I mean, whatever the programming that they got when they were young, that shit worked. 1.00

01:26:19.000 And they only want Jews. 1.00

01:26:21.000 There's also like a gay gangster dating website. 0.99

01:26:23.000 That's hot. 0.98

01:26:24.000 Which provide hours.

01:26:25.000 What's it called?

01:26:26.000 You'd have to Google it.

01:26:26.000 We need to go.

01:26:27.000 I'm going to pretend like I don't have that one off the top of my head.

01:26:29.000 But there is a site just for that, which is great.

01:26:32.000 Yeah, I used to work at Gateway Computers, and the day that Joe called me up and was like, hey, you want to move to California and do videos for a living and all this shit?

01:26:39.000 I was like, okay.

01:26:40.000 And so I go to my boss, and I'm like, hey, giving him a two-week notice.

01:26:42.000 He goes, actually, I need to talk to you.

01:26:44.000 Gateway's closing all their stores.

01:26:45.000 I'm like, oh.

01:26:46.000 He's like, you're going to have a two-month severance pay.

01:26:48.000 I'm like, oh.

01:26:49.000 So, yeah, I'll take that severance for a little while.

01:26:53.000 He was putting up these funny videos on my message board. 1.00

01:26:55.000 And this is fucked, man. 0.98

01:26:57.000 It was like, what was it, 2002? 1.00

01:26:58.000 It was pre-YouTube.

01:26:59.000 I was just really good at compression.

01:27:01.000 That's all it took back in the day, man. 0.98

01:27:03.000 I made shit videos on the internet, but I had access to servers from my internet provider that I started. 0.99

01:27:07.000 So we just streamed all sorts of shit on RealPlayer. 0.99

01:27:10.000 And Brian, you know, comes off very strange on the podcast sometimes and some people complain about him. 0.94

01:27:15.000 But the reason for that is he's just very weirdly creative.

01:27:20.000 He's a very odd guy. 0.94

01:27:21.000 And these videos were fucking hilarious. 0.96

01:27:24.000 We have to put them somewhere. 0.89

01:27:26.000 Some of them up somewhere.

01:27:27.000 The one that you did where you...

01:27:29.000 There was a guy who...

01:27:31.000 This was after he already moved here.

01:27:32.000 Who was giving him a hard time because this guy was kind of jealous that he got this job working for me.

01:27:36.000 So Brian made this video goofing on him that...

01:27:38.000 Yeah, he just recently had a baby.

01:27:42.000 He was married to this girl that looked like Harry Potter.

01:27:46.000 So I just made pretty much this two-minute video, a minute-and-a-half video that just was like, oh, you want to fight?

01:27:52.000 I was good at Flash animation at the time because when Flash first came out, when it was like Shockwave instead of Shockwave is what it was called.

01:28:01.000 Macromedia Shockwave.

01:28:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:28:03.000 Yeah, they loved my videos I did.

01:28:06.000 So some person from Adobe used to send me Flash, like Flash 1.0, 2.0, like this really expensive software.

01:28:13.000 No one had access to this because it was too expensive. 0.99

01:28:15.000 So I used to learn that shit back in the day. 0.95

01:28:17.000 So I had to make all these Flash videos. 0.99

01:28:18.000 Now I can't even touch Flash. 0.78

01:28:20.000 It's so fucking impossible since Adobe. 0.91

01:28:22.000 Okay, okay. 0.95

01:28:24.000 I just went to GayDemon.com.

01:28:27.000 Is that the...

01:28:29.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:28:30.000 That is the best website ever! 0.99

01:28:32.000 Ridiculous. 1.00

01:28:33.000 I'm looking for your gay... 1.00

01:28:35.000 You're telling me about your gay dating site. 1.00

01:28:38.000 So I go to Gay Demon. 1.00

01:28:40.000 Look at this. 0.98

01:28:42.000 You... 1.00

01:28:43.000 It's so ridiculous. 1.00

01:28:46.000 It's so preposterous and ridiculous. 0.99

01:28:49.000 Have you seen Chowaniki? 0.99

01:28:50.000 Let's describe to these people what we're looking at here. 0.98

01:28:54.000 Most people are going to hear this on audio and they're going to be in their car or on their way to the gym or on the fucking treadmill. 0.98

01:29:01.000 Tell them to imagine that picture. 0.99

01:29:03.000 Gaydemon.com.

01:29:04.000 There's the angel and the devil, the classic angel and the devil, like from Animal House, one on each shoulder. 1.00

01:29:09.000 Well, the angel is on one side, and he's this buff gay guy, and he's got a guy sucking his dick, and then below him, there's a guy sucking that guy's dick and eating that guy's ass, and they're crossing... 1.00

01:29:21.000 Are the same guys doing both? 1.00

01:29:22.000 No, no, no.

01:29:23.000 Other guys.

01:29:24.000 There's a stack of guys, like one of those cheerleader pyramids, and it's all...

01:29:28.000 A human centipede? 1.00

01:29:29.000 Sucking guys and fucking guys in the ass on both sides. 1.00

01:29:32.000 So the devil's getting his dick sucked and the angel's getting his dick sucked and they're like looking at each other like, hey, what's up? 1.00

01:29:38.000 We're getting our dick sucked. 1.00

01:29:39.000 By the way, this health thing wasn't so bad. 1.00

01:29:41.000 I haven't even seen any fire.

01:29:44.000 Yeah, heaven and hell. 0.99

01:29:44.000 Have you seen dragons fucking cars, by the way? 0.99

01:29:45.000 There seems to be no difference. 1.00

01:29:46.000 They both get their dicks out. 0.99

01:29:48.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:29:48.000 Google dragons fucking cars. 1.00

01:29:49.000 That's a great website. 1.00

01:29:50.000 It's all like anime of giant dragons fucking cars in the tailpipes. 0.99

01:29:54.000 Wow, that's awesome. 0.99

01:29:55.000 In the gas tanks.

01:29:56.000 I hung out with the Asian from Human Centipede. 1.00

01:29:59.000 He had a party, and I was invited to his party.

01:30:00.000 That's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard.

01:30:01.000 It was the craziest thing ever.

01:30:03.000 You go to his house, he had all these statues of the human centipede all over his house.

01:30:07.000 I love it.

01:30:07.000 It was creepy.

01:30:08.000 I wanted to film the whole thing.

01:30:10.000 Wait a minute.

01:30:10.000 You went to the guy who created the human centipede?

01:30:12.000 No, no, no.

01:30:12.000 The Asian guy, the head centipede of the human centipede.

01:30:16.000 He has this all over his house, so he's proud of it?

01:30:19.000 No, he had a party, and at his house he just happened to have all these cool statues all out through his house of the human centipede.

01:30:24.000 What?

01:30:25.000 They were promotional or whatever.

01:30:28.000 Or plaster molds of himself and a couple buddies.

01:30:30.000 Yeah, but interesting enough, I was trying to dig, and I think he's in the sequel somehow.

01:30:35.000 Yeah.

01:30:35.000 I don't know.

01:30:36.000 You want to hear something funny?

01:30:37.000 There's something someone wrote on Twitter about this conversation.

01:30:41.000 He wrote, consumerism with all these exclamation points.

01:30:45.000 It's ugly. 1.00

01:30:46.000 Talk about deeper shit, you whores. 1.00

01:30:48.000 Oh, what? 1.00

01:30:50.000 Listen, you dumb fuck. 1.00

01:30:52.000 When we're talking about fantastic technology and the creation, like human innovation, the creation of an M3 or an Apple laptop or anything, We're talking about spectacular new things that are in our world right now. 1.00

01:31:06.000 It's not just about consumerism.

01:31:08.000 And getting wrapped up in this whole, hey, I'm not into money, man.

01:31:13.000 I'm not into consumerism, man. 1.00

01:31:16.000 Like, just shut the fuck up, okay? 1.00

01:31:18.000 How did he send that tweet? 1.00

01:31:19.000 Was it through his iPhone?

01:31:20.000 Did you use a phone?

01:31:21.000 What does it say?

01:31:22.000 I want to know. 1.00

01:31:23.000 Did you live in a house, you dumb cunt? 1.00

01:31:25.000 Unless he sent that tweet by a fucking smoke signal or semaphore, he's a piece of shit. 1.00

01:31:29.000 I just want to address this whole retarded mentality to criticize other people's interests, especially other people's interests when it comes to things that you can't attain. 1.00

01:31:38.000 So all of a sudden, these things that you can't attain become evil things or bad things or negative things. 0.99

01:31:43.000 We all have fucking transportation. 0.99

01:31:45.000 Whether it's a bus or whether you drive your own fucking car, we all have transportation. 0.99

01:31:49.000 Okay, no one, unless you are living in a solar-powered house and you ride a fucking horse everywhere, okay, everyone's contributing. 0.99

01:31:56.000 Nobody that It's listening to this broadcast right now. 0.96

01:31:59.000 Exactly.

01:31:59.000 Who doesn't have access to something.

01:32:01.000 You've got a carbon footprint, motherfucker. 1.00

01:32:03.000 All right? 1.00

01:32:03.000 And there's this idea that somehow or another, like, looking into this technology and objects and things, it's not being obsessed with creating or acquiring diamonds and walking around and covered in jewels. 1.00

01:32:14.000 That's not what we're doing. 0.88

01:32:15.000 What we're doing is looking at the incredible shit that human beings are creating and how nuts this is and how different this is and just a few years ago. 0.99

01:32:23.000 That's it. 0.99

01:32:24.000 All right? 1.00

01:32:24.000 You stupid fucks. 1.00

01:32:25.000 Just get it together. 1.00

01:32:27.000 It's not trolled, man.

01:32:28.000 It's a mentality that comes up over and over and over again, and it's mostly a justification of failure.

01:32:35.000 It's a justification of either the lack of ambition or their lack of participating in some sort of materialism quest.

01:32:44.000 They're not in the game at all, so they criticize the game. 0.99

01:32:46.000 What do you give a fuck if... 0.99

01:32:48.000 When I see there's a guy in the Hamptons that's got some $180 million house, it's the most expensive house ever, and it's gigantic. 1.00

01:32:54.000 I don't say, fuck that guy, that fucking capitalist. 1.00

01:32:58.000 I go, wow, that's incredible. 1.00

01:32:59.000 That guy went for it.

01:33:00.000 That's what I think.

01:33:01.000 Here's the thing.

01:33:02.000 Maybe that guy doesn't subscribe to the game.

01:33:04.000 Maybe he is capable.

01:33:05.000 He's on the line!

01:33:06.000 But he's on Twitter criticizing you. 1.00

01:33:09.000 Again, unless you sent a carrier pigeon to deliver that fucking message, he's playing the game somehow. 1.00

01:33:13.000 Exactly. 0.99

01:33:14.000 He's just not playing. 0.99

01:33:14.000 If you're using a fucking computer, look, we're all a part of this weird thing called capitalism. 0.99

01:33:21.000 Capitalism is just sort of an operating system that runs society. 1.00

01:33:24.000 I mean, that's really what it is.

01:33:25.000 Yeah, and I might like Apple better, and you might like Windows better.

01:33:29.000 They're all operating systems. 0.97

01:33:30.000 We're all still clicking the same damn icons. 0.83

01:33:32.000 I don't believe that capitalism is perfect by any stretch of the imagination, nor do I believe that communism works. 0.98

01:33:37.000 I think socialism is a ridiculous idea because it goes completely against human nature. 1.00

01:33:41.000 And when you start criticizing people for things that they've acquired, you're dumb. 0.99

01:33:47.000 There's things out there that are amazing. 0.98

01:33:49.000 A big screen television is amazing.

01:33:51.000 Brian's got 3D TV in his bedroom. 1.00

01:33:53.000 That shit's amazing. 0.99

01:33:54.000 Oh, that was a mispurchase, let's be honest. 1.00

01:33:56.000 There's no way.

01:33:56.000 No, no, no.

01:33:57.000 You want to have a 3D argument?

01:33:58.000 Hold on.

01:33:59.000 I'm going to roll my sleeves up and step back.

01:34:01.000 Here's my conversation.

01:34:03.000 I went to Best Buy to get a TV. I found the TV I wanted.

01:34:06.000 It also had 3D? No, no.

01:34:08.000 Just a normal TV. And I was going to get it.

01:34:10.000 Then I checked on my Amazon.

01:34:12.000 I'm like, how much is this TV? And the TV on there was pretty much the same.

01:34:16.000 But then they had the 3D version for $100 more.

01:34:19.000 And I'm like... 1.00

01:34:20.000 Fuck that. 0.99

01:34:20.000 I'm going to get the 3D version for $100 a month. 0.99

01:34:22.000 So I ordered it on Amazon.

01:34:23.000 Got the TV. Right.

01:34:24.000 Then you get to spend an extra $150 per pair of goggles.

01:34:28.000 Then you get to spend an extra $100 a month or whatever for the special receiver that can deliver that.

01:34:32.000 Amazon had a deal.

01:34:33.000 If you bought it, it was for Christmas or something like that.

01:34:35.000 If you bought their TV, you get free 3D everything.

01:34:37.000 You got the 3D glasses.

01:34:38.000 You got two pairs. 0.99

01:34:40.000 And you lose your 3D friends because no one fucking cares. 0.99

01:34:42.000 No, no. 0.99

01:34:43.000 No one cares.

01:34:45.000 Sorry, Bob.

01:34:45.000 I didn't charge your Oakleys.

01:34:47.000 You get to have a fucking migraine. 1.00

01:34:49.000 You have to charge them? 1.00

01:34:50.000 Yes, you do.

01:34:51.000 Well, I would not recommend a 3D TV is what I'm saying.

01:34:54.000 But if it's $100 more or something small, then yes.

01:34:58.000 Because here's the cool thing.

01:34:59.000 A lot of people don't know.

01:35:00.000 It makes everything 3D if you want it to.

01:35:02.000 But it doesn't do it well.

01:35:03.000 It doesn't do it well on everything.

01:35:04.000 I've got to tell you, dude.

01:35:06.000 I have never seen one.

01:35:07.000 I haven't seen his.

01:35:08.000 But I have seen one in person at the mall or at Best Buy we went to see.

01:35:12.000 And they had monsters and aliens playing.

01:35:14.000 I think it might be worth it just to watch that movie.

01:35:17.000 Dude, Tron 2?

01:35:18.000 If that's the only movie, like when HD first came out, people were like, dude, you gotta get HD. Why?

01:35:21.000 You can watch Flamingo's Fuck and The Sun Rise and High Def, and that's all there was for it, which I get, you know, your eyes widen because you like watching Flamingo's Fuck, but after three months, that's That's all there was. 0.98

01:35:31.000 Have you played Call of Duty in 3D? I have played 3D games, yeah. 0.99

01:35:34.000 It's cool.

01:35:35.000 The on-screen display is a little further out in front of your face.

01:35:37.000 You still have to wear glasses. 0.99

01:35:38.000 You still get a fucking headache. 1.00

01:35:39.000 Do you play online? 1.00

01:35:40.000 It's still a sham.

01:35:41.000 I play Call of Duty in 3D. Does it give you a headache?

01:35:43.000 For some people, it does for me.

01:35:44.000 At first, the first ten minutes, your eyes get used to it.

01:35:47.000 Then you rewire your brain to go cross-eyed without giving a headache.

01:35:50.000 And now you're totally golden. 0.99

01:35:51.000 What I think is more crazy is this new Nintendo 3DS where I'm watching kids holding up their 3DS right to their face with this 3D shit. 0.98

01:35:59.000 And they've already admitted it in Japan. 0.99

01:36:01.000 Or Dr. Drew admitted that that could cause your eyes to bleed. 0.99

01:36:05.000 And people are already getting fucked up from it. 1.00

01:36:07.000 And you know how kids are with their fucking Game Boys. 1.00

01:36:09.000 They're going to put it in their face. 1.00

01:36:10.000 Hours on end. 1.00

01:36:11.000 Who knows what this is going to do to their fucking eyes, man. 0.99

01:36:13.000 They're going to get Bluetooth or something. 1.00

01:36:15.000 And the fucking shit at the airport, dude. 1.00

01:36:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:18.000 But no, no.

01:36:18.000 I don't recommend 3D TV. Augmented reality, though?

01:36:21.000 That's the shit. 1.00

01:36:22.000 What's that? 1.00

01:36:23.000 What are you talking about?

01:36:23.000 Where you'll be able to, in the very near future, you know, Google Goggles.

01:36:25.000 Have you heard of Google Goggles?

01:36:26.000 Yes.

01:36:27.000 Amazing.

01:36:27.000 So you point Google Goggles at a restaurant or a landmark, and it analyzes what you're looking at, and then spits you out a search result based off that.

01:36:34.000 So you point it at the Golden Gate Bridge, boom, you get the history of that.

01:36:36.000 So extrapolate from that.

01:36:37.000 That's crazy.

01:36:38.000 Right now for augmented reality.

01:36:39.000 Stop and think about that for a second.

01:36:40.000 The translation is much better.

01:36:42.000 So you can take a photo of a building and it tells you what the building is?

01:36:45.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:45.000 You could create a message board off of just that photo.

01:36:48.000 It could translate text in real time.

01:36:50.000 You could have a check-in.

01:36:50.000 You could have a menu pop out of a coaster.

01:36:53.000 That's going to be a contact lens at one point.

01:36:55.000 Right.

01:36:55.000 Well, that's 15, 20 years away.

01:36:57.000 Jesus Christ.

01:36:58.000 But so that is step one.

01:37:00.000 So step two is they have these augmented reality markers that you can throw down and look at with a webcam or with a cell phone application and it'll make like on the 3DS it makes like a dragon appear and you can walk around and look at it in 3D and shoot arrows at it.

01:37:11.000 That's cool.

01:37:12.000 Now the next phase of that is doing that without markers.

01:37:14.000 So imagine this and I know some people that are working on this right now and I'm trying to get into space.

01:37:18.000 You launch the app on your cell phone.

01:37:19.000 You look around and it analyzes in real time in the cloud.

01:37:22.000 It looks at this table and goes, all right, there's a coconut water.

01:37:25.000 Nutritional info.

01:37:26.000 Do you want to purchase by now?

01:37:27.000 There's a wine bottle. 0.99

01:37:28.000 Oh, I know what vintage that is from the fucking thing. 1.00

01:37:30.000 You can look at the microphone and tap it. 0.99

01:37:31.000 There's information on it.

01:37:32.000 Wow.

01:37:33.000 Everything.

01:37:33.000 The barrier between internet and real life is rapidly dissipating.

01:37:38.000 That's the next step.

01:37:39.000 Yeah, but it's all going to have real-time tracking, too.

01:37:41.000 So imagine hiking up to a point at a mountain, looking over a city and tapping it, and having information on that city come out, having a communal game pop out of it. 0.98

01:37:47.000 All that shit's happening. 1.00

01:37:48.000 Fuck, that's incredible. 1.00

01:37:49.000 That's going to be awesome. 1.00

01:37:49.000 I love technology. 1.00

01:37:50.000 And it's happening now. 1.00

01:37:51.000 So fuck you, anti-consumerism Twitter dick. 1.00

01:37:53.000 Yeah, fuck that guy. 1.00

01:37:54.000 Go apologize to women on YouTube. 1.00

01:37:57.000 Dear woman. 1.00

01:37:58.000 I thought we were going to talk about mushrooms.

01:37:59.000 I'm sorry.

01:38:00.000 Yeah.

01:38:00.000 I thought that was...

01:38:01.000 Let's watch the mushroom trip tonight.

01:38:02.000 Well, we could...

01:38:03.000 I got a date tonight.

01:38:05.000 Oh, what do you got?

01:38:06.000 Going out with the missus.

01:38:07.000 Where are you guys going?

01:38:07.000 Red Lobster?

01:38:09.000 Some cheddar bay biscuits?

01:38:10.000 Dude, it's only Friday night when I go to Red Lobster.

01:38:13.000 Where do you go on a Friday night with the missus?

01:38:15.000 Go out to eat, check out a movie.

01:38:17.000 I heard that that movie Source Code's good.

01:38:20.000 You've heard nothing?

01:38:20.000 I heard Source Code's good.

01:38:21.000 Your Highness is great.

01:38:22.000 Your Highness?

01:38:22.000 Oh, is that out right now?

01:38:24.000 No, just go see Arthur.

01:38:25.000 Go see Arthur. 1.00

01:38:26.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:38:26.000 Really? 1.00

01:38:27.000 No.

01:38:28.000 I'm kidding. 1.00

01:38:29.000 Asshole. 1.00

01:38:30.000 You do like him? 0.99

01:38:31.000 I do like Russell Brand.

01:38:31.000 Why?

01:38:32.000 He entertains me.

01:38:33.000 Really?

01:38:33.000 You have to be in the mood for his quote-unquote brand of entertainment.

01:38:36.000 He's the same character.

01:38:37.000 I liked him until I watched him do stand-up.

01:38:40.000 I watched him do stand-up and I was like, whoa.

01:38:42.000 Yeah, me too.

01:38:43.000 I like him whenever he's a guest on talk shows.

01:38:44.000 I'd love to interview him.

01:38:45.000 He seems pretty interesting.

01:38:46.000 Yeah, he's a fascinating guy.

01:38:47.000 Who is your favorite person to interview?

01:38:49.000 Who is the one person that you think about all the time?

01:38:52.000 In the shower?

01:38:53.000 In the shower.

01:38:55.000 I like James Cameron.

01:38:56.000 James Cameron?

01:38:57.000 I had a blast chatting with James Cameron.

01:38:59.000 Now, a lot of people accuse him of being arrogant, but you know what?

01:39:01.000 I think that in order to get that much done, he's got to be an obsessed worker.

01:39:06.000 Look at what he did.

01:39:06.000 Yeah.

01:39:07.000 I mean, look at what he's done.

01:39:08.000 What is he doing now?

01:39:09.000 Avatar 2 is filming it all underwater.

01:39:11.000 Right? 0.99

01:39:11.000 He's doing the whole fucking movie. 0.99

01:39:13.000 You didn't know that? 0.99

01:39:14.000 Avatar 2 filming underwater with technology that he created in order to fucking, yeah, to Titanic, to film underwater in Titanic.

01:39:20.000 I got to hold the 3D camera that they used on Avatar, and I held it for about three minutes and wanted to give out, like, my shoulder.

01:39:26.000 Yeah.

01:39:26.000 It's like, it's crazy heavy, and I'm like, you held this thing, James?

01:39:29.000 Like, you're rich and powerful enough to hire 40 people to hold this camera for years.

01:39:31.000 Like, nope. 1.00

01:39:32.000 Held it on every single shot, ran down ramps, and did all that shit. 1.00

01:39:34.000 Wow. 1.00

01:39:35.000 He's gung-ho serious. 1.00

01:39:36.000 Bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:39:37.000 For all the shit that they give James Cameron for being arrogant or tough to work with or whatever, he came on the show, had a smile, shook my hand, was super nerdy about everything. 1.00

01:39:44.000 And we even had him coming out with a folding chair and smashing through a brick wall and hitting dummies. 0.99

01:39:48.000 He was super game to have a good time.

01:39:50.000 And he cut his head on one of the foam rocks that fell the second time he came on the show with this big wall and he burst through it like Kool-Aid.

01:39:56.000 Like, oh yeah!

01:39:57.000 Picks up a chair and he's going to hit a dummy with it and I see this little spot of crimson on his forehead.

01:40:01.000 And our show's live.

01:40:02.000 We have a 10-second delay.

01:40:03.000 So I'm sitting there interviewing him, and I'm just seeing, thank God it's away from the camera, but I'm watching blood slowly trickle out of his forehead.

01:40:09.000 Jesus Christ.

01:40:10.000 And all I'm thinking about is the publicist and the studio and everybody else going like, did you cut James Cameron?

01:40:15.000 I would have brought it up right away.

01:40:16.000 Yeah, that would have been cool.

01:40:17.000 We didn't bring it up at all?

01:40:17.000 Yeah, I didn't.

01:40:18.000 That would have been cool.

01:40:19.000 I would have said, dude, I hate to say this, but I think we cut your head. 1.00

01:40:22.000 We cut you the fuck open. 1.00

01:40:23.000 Your face has a period. 1.00

01:40:24.000 He's not in pain.

01:40:25.000 I'm so, well, look, I'm so used to trauma.

01:40:27.000 Because James Cameron could kill me and would get away with it.

01:40:29.000 But why would he do that? 0.94

01:40:30.000 Because he could. 1.00

01:40:31.000 What kind of a cunt? 1.00

01:40:31.000 If you were the type of guy that kills people because a foam rock fell on your head, you would have a fucking trail of bodies behind you like Genghis Khan. 1.00

01:40:40.000 Badass. 1.00

01:40:40.000 You're really crazy. 1.00

01:40:43.000 He's not going to kill you. 1.00

01:40:45.000 You're totally insecure about this.

01:40:46.000 You need to be more relaxed about James Cameron. 0.98

01:40:49.000 That's ridiculous. 0.50

01:40:49.000 You had an awesome opportunity there to tell him that you cut him. 0.50

01:40:52.000 Hey, look, I still get my great interview, and I had photoshops of me fucking the Na'vi. 0.99

01:40:56.000 Do you really? 0.99

01:40:57.000 Yeah, he was like, the aliens have to seem fuckable. 0.98

01:41:00.000 Is that what he said? 0.99

01:41:01.000 Oh, that was his big thing for Pandora. 1.00

01:41:02.000 He's like, I want you to make these aliens someone you want to fuck. 1.00

01:41:05.000 And he talked about it. 1.00

01:41:05.000 Yeah, I did want to fuck that girl. 1.00

01:41:07.000 Right? 1.00

01:41:07.000 When he got down with her, I was like, okay, I could see it. 1.00

01:41:09.000 I could see her being attractive, especially if you're big and blue too. 1.00

01:41:13.000 You're like, yeah, fuck it, I'm big and blue too. 1.00

01:41:15.000 But they mate with animals with their braid. 1.00

01:41:17.000 Why didn't he jack his braid into her or something like that? 0.96

01:41:19.000 Yeah.

01:41:19.000 You should be binding with your hair.

01:41:23.000 That is some slash fiction that will hit the net very soon. 0.99

01:41:26.000 Yeah, James Cameron, that guy's doing some crazy shit right now, man.

01:41:29.000 He's doing some amazing stuff. 0.97

01:41:31.000 Bummed I never got to interview Mitch Hedberg.

01:41:33.000 Super bummed about that.

01:41:34.000 And super bummed I never got to interview Leslie Nielsen because he shaped Michael.

01:41:38.000 I just watched Creepshow the other day and I forgot Leslie Nielsen was in it and Ted Danson, which was crazy.

01:41:44.000 But that...

01:41:46.000 Leslie Nielsen growing up was one of my faves.

01:41:48.000 I saw Naked Gun recently, and it was so weird seeing O.J. Simpson in it, because you forget how, as a kid growing up, I loved O.J. Simpson.

01:41:57.000 Everybody did.

01:41:58.000 Especially from that role.

01:42:00.000 That was one of the weirdest moments in human history, when this loved man, this guy who was like, he played the game so well, was so charming, and only even dated white women, so people didn't even think of him as black. 0.99

01:42:11.000 It's like, here's this charming, handsome black man who spoke so well, and then all of a sudden he's cutting people's fucking heads off. 0.99

01:42:17.000 Allegedly. 0.99

01:42:19.000 I was in like 6th grade or 7th grade, I think, and I had the Chris Darden book on that trial.

01:42:24.000 I was fascinated by it.

01:42:25.000 I was like, this is crazy.

01:42:26.000 I got up early, me and my girlfriend.

01:42:28.000 I was living in North Hollywood.

01:42:30.000 My girlfriend Bridget at the time. 0.99

01:42:32.000 We got up early and we sat in front of the fucking TV and watched the verdict. 0.99

01:42:36.000 And we both went. 1.00

01:42:37.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:42:39.000 We were both like, what is going on?

01:42:41.000 Like, how is this real?

01:42:43.000 How am I watching this guy get off?

01:42:46.000 And he's clapping. 0.96

01:42:47.000 Mark Furman was a racist, that's why. 0.86

01:42:48.000 And the glove didn't fit. 0.90

01:42:50.000 It was a little bit of both. 0.53

01:42:51.000 And it was also the weird thing where black people wanted someone to win on their side. 0.89

01:42:56.000 Yeah, they wanted him to win.

01:42:57.000 Because of the Rodney King thing.

01:42:58.000 I absolutely understand that. 0.84

01:42:59.000 Yeah, well, you know, that Rodney King thing fucked everybody up. 0.99

01:43:01.000 When you watch a guy get beat fucking half-census with sticks. 0.96

01:43:05.000 What about the... 0.99

01:43:06.000 All these YouTube and cell phone videos of...

01:43:08.000 Like, my brother's a cop. 0.93

01:43:09.000 Well, by the way, you should beat that guy half-sensitive. 1.00

01:43:11.000 They should have just fucking shot him. 1.00

01:43:13.000 Like, that guy was a crazy, messed-up asshole. 1.00

01:43:15.000 He was high on PCP, beating the fuck out of cops. 1.00

01:43:18.000 He was fighting them. 0.99

01:43:18.000 They had to hit him with sticks. 0.99

01:43:19.000 Yeah, they definitely got out of line.

01:43:21.000 Yeah, they definitely got a little crazy, but... 0.99

01:43:23.000 But the notion that now you can't, again, fucking love cops. 0.99

01:43:26.000 Truly do. 0.99

01:43:26.000 My brother's one. 0.99

01:43:27.000 He's one of the good ones. 0.94

01:43:27.000 And I respect the shit out of what he does every day. 0.94

01:43:29.000 I read teleprompter. 0.91

01:43:30.000 I read words. 1.00

01:43:31.000 He puts his fucking shit in the line. 1.00

01:43:34.000 I know a lot of cops. 1.00

01:43:35.000 I have a deep respect for cops.

01:43:36.000 But with that said, the notion of not being able to film them when they're performing their duties. 0.97

01:43:39.000 Ridiculous. 0.99

01:43:40.000 Ridiculous. 0.99

01:43:41.000 And the fact that people are getting their cell phones taken away and getting arrested. 0.97

01:43:43.000 They're not even part of what's going on.

01:43:45.000 They're getting arrested for invasion of privacy. 0.99

01:43:46.000 Yeah, that's fucked up. 0.99

01:43:47.000 There's actual laws against videotaping cops while they're doing their job, which is ridiculous. 0.99

01:43:53.000 Did you see that guy in Seattle that punched that chick?

01:43:55.000 You ever see that?

01:43:56.000 There's a bunch of black women, and he's a little white guy, and he's arresting one, and this other black woman comes along, and she's pulling the girl away, and she pulls him away. 0.84

01:44:06.000 She grabs ahold of him, and he turns around and blasts her right in the face. 1.00

01:44:09.000 And then all the people are filming, like, oh, shit, no, he didn't! 0.99

01:44:13.000 No, he didn't! 0.99

01:44:14.000 Like, wow, this is chaos.

01:44:17.000 Would you hear the story of the eight-year-old boy that got pepper sprayed at school?

01:44:21.000 What? 0.99

01:44:21.000 And they're like, that's fucking excessive force, excessive force. 0.99

01:44:24.000 The cop pepper sprayed him. 0.99

01:44:25.000 And the mom is suing the cops in the school district and everybody over at night. 1.00

01:44:29.000 The headline of that, you go, that's fucked up. 0.99

01:44:31.000 Who pepper sprays an eight-year-old boy? 1.00

01:44:32.000 Turns out, he held up a pencil in the class, threatened everybody, said, quote, I'm going to kill all of you motherfuckers. 1.00

01:44:37.000 The cops came up. 1.00

01:44:39.000 They were threatening the cops and doing everything. 1.00

01:44:40.000 I'm like, your fucking kid was out of hand. 1.00

01:44:42.000 If I said I'm going to kill all you motherfuckers at a school and threatened to stab people... 1.00

01:44:46.000 I deserve a little pepper spray. 1.00

01:44:47.000 With a pencil?

01:44:48.000 Yeah.

01:44:48.000 Wait, he was eight years old, though?

01:44:50.000 He was like eight or nine years old, yeah. 0.99

01:44:51.000 He was like, hey, I'm going to kill you! 1.00

01:44:52.000 And you're like, shut the fuck up, give me that pencil. 1.00

01:44:54.000 Yeah, that's a troubled kid. 1.00

01:44:55.000 You should arrest his parents.

01:44:56.000 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

01:44:57.000 Yeah, you got a kid that's that angry and that wants to kill everybody in class, you need to find out what the fuck they did to him. 1.00

01:45:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:45:03.000 Absolutely.

01:45:04.000 I'm sure the mom was a star on 16 and Pregnant. 1.00

01:45:07.000 That show is just out of control lately on TMZ. It seems like every day there's a new fight or a new person being arrested.

01:45:13.000 Well, what it seems like, just like we were talking about with porn, that porn is getting accelerated and getting more and more fucked up. 0.98

01:45:18.000 Reality television is getting more and more fucked up, too, to the point where how many people are getting pregnant trying to be on that show? 0.98

01:45:23.000 Trying to be on that show. 0.99

01:45:23.000 It glorifies it. 0.99

01:45:25.000 It says, well, I'm 16, I live in the middle of nowhere, and I have nothing going for me.

01:45:28.000 I know what I'm doing.

01:45:28.000 I'm going to have a child that will love me, and then MTV is going to give me a salary.

01:45:32.000 Pfft! 0.63

01:45:32.000 To put every moment of this on the air. 0.63

01:45:34.000 Oh, it's so scary.

01:45:35.000 And sketch my moments and put my life to a soundtrack that they can sell on iTunes.

01:45:38.000 And I watch it.

01:45:39.000 We live in strange, strange times. 1.00

01:45:40.000 I watch the shit out of that show. 0.99

01:45:41.000 Macy's amazing. 0.99

01:45:42.000 Do you really watch it?

01:45:43.000 My little boy Bentley's great.

01:45:43.000 Man, my girlfriend makes me watch it.

01:45:44.000 Really?

01:45:45.000 And I totally do.

01:45:46.000 Wow.

01:45:47.000 Without argue.

01:45:48.000 I watched, for the first time, Dancing with the Stars. 1.00

01:45:50.000 What the fuck's wrong with you? 0.99

01:45:52.000 Did you see Kirstie Alley get dropped? 1.00

01:45:54.000 No, I heard about it.

01:45:55.000 You should Google that.

01:45:56.000 And I heard that the guy was trying to make excuses.

01:45:59.000 He said he hurt his thigh.

01:46:00.000 My knee gave out.

01:46:01.000 It's normal.

01:46:02.000 It has nothing to do with the fact that she's... 1.00

01:46:03.000 It's normal when you're dragging a 400-pound woman across the fucking floor. 1.00

01:46:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:46:07.000 It has nothing to do with the fact that she's a monster. 0.76

01:46:09.000 That she has eaten herself into horrific proportions. 1.00

01:46:13.000 She's a monster. 1.00

01:46:15.000 She took what was a hot shape and for whatever, what is it? 0.99

01:46:20.000 Is it self-loathing?

01:46:22.000 Is it indulgence?

01:46:24.000 Is it gluttony?

01:46:25.000 She's just eaten herself into a rotine. 1.00

01:46:27.000 You have to fucking work at getting that big, man. 0.99

01:46:30.000 Yeah, that doesn't come easy. 0.99

01:46:31.000 Yeah, especially a woman who's like constantly talking about losing weight. 1.00

01:46:34.000 I mean, her whole thing is like losing weight.

01:46:36.000 Well, the fat actress thing too. 1.00

01:46:37.000 Yeah. 0.85

01:46:37.000 That was her whole shtick. 0.85

01:46:39.000 I love, there's a kid on YouTube who's testing fruit gushers.

01:46:42.000 Have you seen that?

01:46:43.000 No.

01:46:43.000 He does like a snack review.

01:46:44.000 He's like 12 and he's already way too big for his age.

01:46:47.000 Oh, no.

01:46:47.000 And he does like a, he reviews thin mitts and gushers and eats them and then looks into his webcam and tells you, yeah, that's a must buy.

01:46:53.000 Hold on a second, let me keep exploring.

01:46:54.000 You gotta look, it's a fruit gushers must buy. 1.00

01:46:57.000 And it's this young kid on his webcam and I'm like, where are the fucking parents, man? 1.00

01:47:00.000 Wow. 1.00

01:47:00.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:47:02.000 Where are the fucking parents? 1.00

01:47:04.000 Christy Alley just never got over Diane, I think. 1.00

01:47:06.000 Is that what it is?

01:47:07.000 Yeah.

01:47:07.000 Yeah, man.

01:47:08.000 Shit happens, dude. 1.00

01:47:10.000 It's a problem when you're in a reality or a big hit sitcom. 0.99

01:47:14.000 Do you ever have a weight issue being in front of camera, like being on camera?

01:47:17.000 Did it ever get to you and have to look a certain way or feel a certain way to be?

01:47:20.000 No.

01:47:21.000 I'm fatter now than I've ever been in my life, for sure.

01:47:23.000 I can see it in my fat face and I can see it in my gut.

01:47:27.000 Baby weight. 0.97

01:47:28.000 I can pinch fat around me.

01:47:29.000 It's really because I'm traveling a lot and I hurt my back.

01:47:32.000 I popped what's called a rib head.

01:47:34.000 A rib head is a... 1.00

01:47:36.000 It's what connects like some shit on your back. 0.99

01:47:39.000 Anyway, point is when I did it, I couldn't do jiu-jitsu for like two months. 0.98

01:47:42.000 And I didn't lift heavy for two months either.

01:47:43.000 All I did was just hit the bag.

01:47:45.000 And I didn't even do that all that consistently.

01:47:47.000 So I tried to let myself heal up.

01:47:49.000 And in the process, I ate just like I always do. 0.99

01:47:51.000 Isn't that the bitch of it? 1.00

01:47:52.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:47:52.000 Like you kick your eyes off the prize one second and it's gone. 0.99

01:47:56.000 It's gone. 1.00

01:47:57.000 And muscle memory is bullshit. 0.98

01:47:58.000 But fortunately for me, no, it's not. 0.99

01:47:59.000 Muscle memory is total real.

01:48:01.000 But not when you're in that two weeks recovering from an injury or something else.

01:48:04.000 Like there's nothing worse.

01:48:05.000 Yeah, injuries are brutal, but it's part of the game. 1.00

01:48:08.000 My whole back is fucked up and I'm still training through it like an asshole. 1.00

01:48:10.000 Really? 1.00

01:48:10.000 I need to go get it looked at. 1.00

01:48:11.000 What's wrong with your back?

01:48:12.000 Great question.

01:48:13.000 When you say training, what are you doing?

01:48:15.000 I started recently getting into weightlifting.

01:48:17.000 Yeah?

01:48:17.000 Yeah, just heavy weightlifting.

01:48:18.000 I've never been in shape my entire life.

01:48:20.000 Kettlebells?

01:48:20.000 What was that?

01:48:21.000 Kettlebells?

01:48:22.000 No.

01:48:22.000 No, just traditional.

01:48:23.000 Teach you the ways of kettlebells, son.

01:48:26.000 Teach you the ways of men.

01:48:27.000 I did one of those 23andMe tests where you spit into the vial and they analyze your DNA and tell you what your predispositions are.

01:48:32.000 Right.

01:48:33.000 And it was like morbid obesity was 99.9% repeating.

01:48:37.000 Whoa.

01:48:38.000 So it's a genetic issue?

01:48:40.000 Yeah.

01:48:40.000 Well, I mean, I'm predisposed to it, obviously.

01:48:43.000 Predisposed to morbid obesity, but look at you, you're so lean.

01:48:46.000 I'm kind of the only one in my family that is, though, and I kind of developed a neuroses about it at one point.

01:48:50.000 I've always worked out so much that I never had to worry about my weight on TV. But, you know, that idea that it puts 10 pounds on you, that's complete total horseshit. 0.94

01:48:58.000 That's just fat girls who don't know what they really look like. 1.00

01:49:01.000 And they see themselves on camera.

01:49:02.000 Have you ever seen a standard death stream stretched out on an HDTV? That will put 10 pounds on you.

01:49:08.000 That will fuck you up. 0.99

01:49:09.000 That will dub you up real fast. 1.00

01:49:09.000 That's like a heart video, but in reverse. 1.00

01:49:12.000 You remember those videos?

01:49:13.000 Heart?

01:49:14.000 Remember the first time they experimented? 1.00

01:49:15.000 Like, how do we get this fat bitch to look hot? 1.00

01:49:18.000 We've got to distort her frame and make it look like we're looking at her through Alice in Wonderland seeing eyeglasses. 0.99

01:49:24.000 I saw a demo of software now that you don't need tracking markers or any green screen bullshit, but you film an actor doing their performance like you normally would, and it kind of does an Xbox Kinect-style analysis of their frame and builds a skeleton, and then does pixel detection to see where their, you know, I call them Renaissance Fair arms, where the turkey leg hangs.

01:49:41.000 It sees where their Ren Fair arms ends, right, and where the scenery begins, and you can real-time dynamically slide how fat, thin, tall, or short a person is, and it will re-render the video.

01:49:51.000 To make actors seem bulkier, to make them seem thinner, seem whatever.

01:49:54.000 There's demos of it on YouTube right now. 0.99

01:49:55.000 Well, that 300 shit, what they did with 300. I mean, a lot of people, they showed the 300 workout. 0.96

01:49:59.000 This is what they did to get in such amazing shape.

01:50:01.000 No, they didn't. 0.99

01:50:02.000 Do you know what kind of a fucking diet you'd have to be on and how long you'd have to be on it and how consistent you would have to be? 0.99

01:50:07.000 The best shape of your life. 0.99

01:50:10.000 It would take years and years of hard training to reach like how Gerald...

01:50:15.000 What is his name?

01:50:16.000 Gerald Butler?

01:50:16.000 Gerard Butler.

01:50:17.000 Gerard Butler.

01:50:17.000 Which if you see him now, he did like SNL recently.

01:50:19.000 He's fat and dopey and soft. 0.99

01:50:21.000 It's totally fake. 1.00

01:50:22.000 I showed my girlfriend that.

01:50:22.000 I was like, that's what that ends up like.

01:50:24.000 Yeah.

01:50:24.000 That's what a Spartan looks like.

01:50:25.000 He actually got in shape for that movie, I'm sure.

01:50:28.000 No, he didn't. 0.81

01:50:28.000 And they added all that other CGI shit to him to make him look better than he really did. 0.81

01:50:32.000 But shit. 1.00

01:50:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:33.000 Shit. 1.00

01:50:34.000 That guy, I'm not into him, man. 1.00

01:50:35.000 What about Spartacus? 0.97

01:50:36.000 I fucking loved him in that movie. 0.97

01:50:38.000 I haven't seen it yet. 0.99

01:50:38.000 I loved him in that movie. 0.99

01:50:40.000 And then everything I've seen in him since then, I'm like, God, man, why are you annoying me?

01:50:44.000 You know, how come I'm not into him? 0.98

01:50:45.000 Well, he's doing rom-coms now and shit. 0.98

01:50:46.000 Although he did do that one thing. 0.98

01:50:47.000 What is that?

01:50:47.000 What's rom-com?

01:50:48.000 Romantic comedies. 1.00

01:50:48.000 Oh my God, you dork. 1.00

01:50:50.000 Rom-coms. 1.00

01:50:50.000 How dare you? 1.00

01:50:51.000 How dare you?

01:50:52.000 Rom-coms. 0.81

01:50:53.000 Did you just dork out?

01:50:54.000 Did you dork out?

01:50:55.000 Did I get a ruling, Brian?

01:50:56.000 I've never even heard that before.

01:50:58.000 I've seen it. 0.99

01:50:59.000 It's because I'm fucking industry. 0.98

01:51:01.000 That's why I know people. 1.00

01:51:02.000 If you've never seen a Katherine Heigl movie and rubbed your vagina in a theater, you're missing out. 1.00

01:51:06.000 She's another one, man. 1.00

01:51:08.000 I liked her in the first movie I saw her in.

01:51:10.000 What was her big movie? 1.00

01:51:11.000 The fucking movie with Seth Rogen. 1.00

01:51:16.000 Maybe I liked her because she was fucking a fat guy. 1.00

01:51:19.000 I was like, oh, that's really sweet. 1.00

01:51:20.000 She fucked that guy and then he never really got his shit together and did read the baby books. 1.00

01:51:25.000 She was kind of hot and cool. 1.00

01:51:27.000 But at the end, that one night stand slash pregnancy totally worked out.

01:51:30.000 Yeah, it's beautiful.

01:51:32.000 That's how it works.

01:51:33.000 You know that other one that she did recently with Josh Duhamel?

01:51:37.000 Is that what his name is?

01:51:38.000 I'm not going to feel bad for you not knowing this.

01:51:40.000 The guy from Vegas.

01:51:41.000 Very nice guy.

01:51:42.000 I did an episode of Vegas. 0.99

01:51:43.000 He's cool as fuck. 0.99

01:51:44.000 He's the one who's married to Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. 0.99

01:51:46.000 Anyway, he did some movie with her.

01:51:48.000 I didn't even watch it.

01:51:50.000 I just watched it on TV on the screen on a plane.

01:51:54.000 Like a preview or something?

01:51:55.000 I watched it on a plane while I was writing, and I would look up and get angry.

01:51:59.000 I'd get angry to help my writing. 0.99

01:52:01.000 I'd be listening to fucking Hendrix. 1.00

01:52:03.000 I would look up at this stupid shit and all these slack-jawed, business-faced douchebags watching this stupid-ass fucking movie. 1.00

01:52:11.000 You know what's going to happen. 1.00

01:52:13.000 There's not a goddamn shocker in this movie. 0.98

01:52:15.000 It was No Devil Wears Prada. 0.99

01:52:18.000 I always accidentally watch the porn version of that movie.

01:52:21.000 I'm always with a girl and they're like, oh my god, Devils Wear Prada! 1.00

01:52:25.000 And then we turn it on and it's Devils Wear Nada.

01:52:27.000 It's on every day and it's always the same.

01:52:30.000 On what?

01:52:31.000 Showtime?

01:52:33.000 I'm always watching that.

01:52:34.000 I love that.

01:52:35.000 Oh man, I was so close to doing one of those.

01:52:37.000 I had an offer to be in one that was like a song.

01:52:38.000 Really?

01:52:38.000 A porn?

01:52:39.000 Yeah, it was like Softcore, Cinemax, whatever. 0.88

01:52:41.000 And I was going to play like Brad, like the camera guy who gets decapitated in an attic after getting blown.

01:52:46.000 And I so wanted to do it and just did not pan out.

01:52:49.000 A girl that I dated a long time ago, I saw her once in one of those.

01:52:53.000 I was on another date.

01:52:54.000 I was at this chick's house.

01:52:56.000 I'm flipping through the channels. 0.99

01:52:57.000 And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, like a girl I did like a year before that was on this fucking softcore porn movie. 0.99

01:53:04.000 It was like so cheesy and so bad. 1.00

01:53:07.000 It was so stupid. 1.00

01:53:08.000 But it was weird. 1.00

01:53:09.000 What was the setting?

01:53:11.000 Was it tennis instructor?

01:53:13.000 I barely remember.

01:53:14.000 We're talking.

01:53:14.000 We're going way back more than 10 years ago.

01:53:17.000 It was probably like 96 or something like that.

01:53:20.000 Did you finish?

01:53:20.000 I had just moved to LA. It was a much bigger shock to me because just knowing someone and seeing them on television...

01:53:29.000 Being around famous people when you first moved to Hollywood, it's the weirdest thing.

01:53:33.000 You don't even expect them to be real.

01:53:35.000 You think they're like holograms.

01:53:37.000 And then when you meet someone in real life, then all of a sudden they're on television. 0.82

01:53:40.000 It's like, still fucking weirds me out, man.

01:53:42.000 Now I'm getting used to it. 0.93

01:53:44.000 I'm pretty used to it now.

01:53:45.000 But back then, it was a girl you dated. 1.00

01:53:47.000 And all of a sudden, you're seeing her in some fucking stupid movie where she's making out with some guy. 0.99

01:53:51.000 She was a girl that was in a show called Hardball with me. 1.00

01:53:56.000 No, that's it.

01:53:57.000 I just saw a preview for Hardball the other day.

01:54:00.000 It's on the internet.

01:54:01.000 I just confused two stories.

01:54:02.000 I just confused two stories.

01:54:04.000 There's another one.

01:54:05.000 A girl from Hardball is not a girl. 0.99

01:54:07.000 I'm like, I didn't date that girl.

01:54:09.000 I didn't date that girl. 1.00

01:54:10.000 It's a different girl. 0.81

01:54:10.000 But that was another girl that I also saw around the same time, also in a soft car. 0.81

01:54:14.000 I'm still waiting to come across, like on a UJs or a RedTube or something like that, I'm waiting to come across somebody in X-Ban in fucking high school. 0.97

01:54:20.000 I know it's going to happen. 0.96

01:54:21.000 Yeah, I've never had that.

01:54:22.000 It's bound to happen.

01:54:23.000 I know, me too.

01:54:23.000 I'm playing the numbers game.

01:54:24.000 And believe me, I watch enough to try to get through that every day, and I've still not found it.

01:54:28.000 Imagine if you didn't notice and you were like, because sometimes, especially as time goes on, like 10 years ago, you forget people.

01:54:35.000 You forget people.

01:54:36.000 You forget everything. 0.99

01:54:38.000 And then you're beaten off, and then like halfway in the middle of the video, you're like, I fucked her in real life! 1.00

01:54:44.000 Oh my god! 0.99

01:54:46.000 Why didn't she let me do that to her back then? 1.00

01:54:47.000 I had a blab. 1.00

01:54:48.000 Yeah, yeah, your asshole's sore. 1.00

01:54:50.000 No wonder it's sore. 1.00

01:54:52.000 Now I know why.

01:54:53.000 I'm just happy that when I used to... 0.96

01:54:56.000 There's been a couple times where I fucked on camera before. 0.52

01:55:00.000 It was back when webcams first came out. 0.88

01:55:03.000 And I'm just happy that that didn't...

01:55:05.000 So it got on the internet. 1.00

01:55:06.000 You fucked on the internet. 1.00

01:55:07.000 Twice. 1.00

01:55:08.000 What about that thing, man?

01:55:10.000 That can go back in time and archive the internet.

01:55:13.000 Imagine if it could, though.

01:55:14.000 That's not outside the realm of possibility.

01:55:16.000 I was just drunk and I'm like, no one's going to watch this. 0.99

01:55:19.000 You imagine if streaming was all recorded somewhere because it's really just ones and zeros going through a fucking computer. 1.00

01:55:24.000 If they figure out how to go back in time and reprocess your pale white ass. 1.00

01:55:30.000 FBI absolutely has machines that are taking all the copies of ones and zeros that are spitting through the internet right now. 0.99

01:55:35.000 So right now? 0.99

01:55:36.000 Data centers at AT&T and Little Garden and all that shit. 0.94

01:55:38.000 They have machines that are mirroring all that. 0.96

01:55:40.000 They have machines that are...

01:55:41.000 This is true.

01:55:42.000 This is not a conspiracy theory.

01:55:44.000 Absolutely true.

01:55:45.000 Documented proof.

01:55:46.000 Would you think, like, 15 years ago, they were doing that too, though?

01:55:49.000 Not to that level, but...

01:55:50.000 Or do you think that there's going to be technology to go back and somehow, you know, get that somehow?

01:55:58.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't believe, I believe from here on out, whatever here is, not this year or not today, but there has been a, there was a turning point from that point on, all those ones and zeros exist somewhere.

01:56:08.000 They absolutely do.

01:56:09.000 Yeah.

01:56:10.000 Well, the really crazy idea is that at one point in time, there's going to be some sort of a computer that's so fucking powerful.

01:56:16.000 And the computing power and what's capable, what they're capable of extrapolating from any given circumstance is that what they're going to be able to do is see the world in every aspect, like every single thing about the world today, and literally put into a computer, how did this get into place?

01:56:35.000 How did this get into place in relationship with that?

01:56:36.000 And go back in time and literally be able to recreate the entire model of life on this planet and life in the universe, everything from the very beginning to then.

01:56:46.000 Until they get back to Jesus creating it. 0.99

01:56:48.000 Which is only, ironically, a few thousand years ago.

01:56:51.000 It's that easy.

01:56:52.000 They don't have to go back very far.

01:56:53.000 It's like six grand.

01:56:54.000 But here's the thing.

01:56:54.000 They've already figured out how to record memories.

01:56:57.000 Really?

01:56:57.000 They believe.

01:56:59.000 They can put people's heads and devices and record those electrical impulses and see where they're going off in the brains and then glean the ones and zero data from that.

01:57:06.000 I did not know this.

01:57:07.000 Can you transfer it from you to me?

01:57:09.000 Well, that's where they're still working on.

01:57:11.000 They know how to record it.

01:57:12.000 They can gather that data.

01:57:13.000 It's putting that data back into somebody.

01:57:15.000 That's the issue.

01:57:15.000 So imagine a near future where you put on a cap or you have your Johnny Mnemonic neural implant and you go, I want to go skydiving today.

01:57:21.000 Double click and you pay $4.99 for that adventure and it plays back somebody's memory that was recorded of them free-falling for five minutes.

01:57:28.000 What's that movie again?

01:57:29.000 I don't remember.

01:57:29.000 You know, the one with Julia Lewis that was all about that, where they put in memories.

01:57:36.000 Strange...

01:57:36.000 No.

01:57:36.000 Yeah.

01:57:37.000 Strange something.

01:57:38.000 Okay.

01:57:39.000 You don't remember?

01:57:39.000 It's like...

01:57:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:57:41.000 Fucking... 1.00

01:57:42.000 I never remember Johnny Mnemonic, which was a great shitty movie on Netflix. 1.00

01:57:44.000 Someone on Twitter, I'm sure, knows what the fuck this is. 1.00

01:57:47.000 Come on, you badass bitches. 1.00

01:57:48.000 The whole idea of the movie was that that's what you do. 0.99

01:57:51.000 You would put memories in your head and stuff like that.

01:57:53.000 Well, they can already record them.

01:57:54.000 Now the issue is playback.

01:57:56.000 So once they have that down, imagine an app store for experiences.

01:57:59.000 Well, you know, I thought about that the other day when I was looking at my iPhone.

01:58:02.000 Strange days.

01:58:04.000 Knuckles.

01:58:05.000 Powerful.

01:58:06.000 I was looking at my iPhone, and it was something that my daughter did that was hilarious.

01:58:09.000 And I was watching, and I was like, okay, this happened.

01:58:12.000 You know, it happened five minutes ago.

01:58:14.000 Now I'm watching on this video.

01:58:15.000 It's so simple and so easy.

01:58:16.000 Like, this is seriously like time capture.

01:58:19.000 Like, it's a very remedial, rudimentary form of time capture.

01:58:27.000 just captures a 2D image of right yeah so imagine infrared with sonar with feeling scent with feeling potentially right so it's gonna you're gonna capture scenes but you're gonna capture every aspect of a scene so that when you want to play it back it'll be just like you're living in that moment because it'll tap into all those senses you've done the isolation tank I I have.

01:58:44.000 You've done it at the same place, the float lab in Venice. 0.97

01:58:48.000 Because we were talking about Crash, the mad scientist down there that creates these fucking things. 0.78

01:58:53.000 But he's working on that whole screen setup. 0.98

01:58:56.000 You know about all that, right?

01:58:57.000 What do you think about all that?

01:58:58.000 No, it's flawed concept.

01:58:59.000 I agree with it in theory.

01:59:01.000 For those who don't know, the idea is that you're floating in an isolation tank.

01:59:04.000 So you're isolated from light, sound.

01:59:05.000 You don't know where your skin ends and where the warm body temperature water begins.

01:59:08.000 And because of that, your body and your senses are zeroed out, right?

01:59:11.000 So you're completely open to everything. 0.95

01:59:14.000 And the idea is that there's going to be an LCD screen in front of you that's projecting the perfect golf swing or projecting how to fuck like Rocco or how to drive a race car like Andretti. 0.98

01:59:22.000 You went Rocco, dude. 0.99

01:59:23.000 You went 90s.

01:59:24.000 Well, Animal Trainer's classic.

01:59:26.000 That's a classic.

01:59:27.000 He's not even dirty anymore.

01:59:28.000 But he's still a classic.

01:59:29.000 He tapped out when he needed to.

01:59:30.000 The point is, his notion is that you'll be able to watch that in a depth tank, and because your brain is so in tuned and open to all these memories, it's going to flood right in.

01:59:38.000 The problem is that that's not a pure input method to the brain.

01:59:42.000 You're going to be aware in that moment that you're watching an LCD screen.

01:59:44.000 There's going to be light beaming into your eyes.

01:59:46.000 It'll defeat the whole purpose of sensory deprivation.

01:59:49.000 Yes and no.

01:59:50.000 But it also, instead of just sensory deprivation, it minimizes the sensory input and allows you to have more mental resources to concentrate on the video.

01:59:59.000 That is true.

01:59:59.000 Now, that I'll give.

02:00:01.000 So, if you want to watch… Documentaries.

02:00:03.000 Yeah.

02:00:04.000 If you want to watch those, if you want to numb your senses and just be focused into one thing, that's fine.

02:00:07.000 But I don't believe it's going to somehow reprogram your brain.

02:00:10.000 That's how it was pitched to me.

02:00:11.000 That it will change your brain to do that.

02:00:13.000 It might make you more aware of something.

02:00:15.000 That's true.

02:00:15.000 I think it allows your brain to use more resources.

02:00:18.000 Yeah.

02:00:18.000 I don't know, Brian.

02:00:19.000 I mean, I'm not necessarily willing to...

02:00:21.000 I mean, look, I'm a huge proponent of nothing, of the sensory deprivation tank in and of itself being emptiness, nothing, nothing there.

02:00:27.000 I don't want any input at all.

02:00:29.000 I want no hearing, no seeing, no touching.

02:00:31.000 I want to untether my body from my mind visually, physically, in every single way.

02:00:36.000 And that's what I'm all about with the isolation tank experience.

02:00:40.000 I'm willing to listen.

02:00:41.000 I'm willing to like...

02:00:42.000 It might be.

02:00:43.000 Maybe I'll figure something out.

02:00:44.000 I try it.

02:00:44.000 It just doesn't sound...

02:00:45.000 I'm not fully on board for that vision.

02:00:48.000 I'd be game to try it.

02:00:49.000 But he's also got to wrap that thing in tinfoil because there's still 3G signals and Wi-Fi hitting your body in there.

02:00:53.000 Yeah, you're going to die.

02:00:54.000 I'm not down with this little screen.

02:00:56.000 What I'm down with doing it in some sort of a large circular thing where it's much, much larger.

02:01:03.000 What I'm thinking of is you're in the center almost like a giant circular pod and above you, Um, there's a screen sort of like, uh, an IMAX screen and that is the input and it's, it's large and circular.

02:01:18.000 And when like, say if you're, you know, you have some sort of a video on space, it literally would become the whole sky, right?

02:01:23.000 You know, that I think is possible.

02:01:25.000 And that's very fascinating to me.

02:01:26.000 I'm waiting for someone to create technology that beams the image into your eye.

02:01:30.000 Cause that's the only way you're going to really be able to fully flood someone's periphery, right?

02:01:33.000 Is to beam it in there.

02:01:34.000 So imagine like So you don't see your own nose.

02:01:36.000 You don't see anything.

02:01:37.000 Right.

02:01:37.000 So imagine a projector that's locked in that can quickly and dynamically response to your eyes, maybe moving around or shifting, but that's adjusting focal levels, beaming image A and image B into your eye, giving you that shutter effect.

02:01:49.000 You'll be able to completely zone out on something, and your periphery would be flooded.

02:01:53.000 You don't want to get in on the ground floor of that one, though. 0.98

02:01:56.000 You don't want to be fucking blind. 0.81

02:01:58.000 That's why you don't want the Nintendo 3DS. You don't want to see what happens for six months. 0.98

02:02:03.000 Like the first dudes who tried Wi-Fi, or the first dudes who tried...

02:02:06.000 Or microwaves.

02:02:07.000 Yes.

02:02:07.000 I was just trying to make a Salisbury steak.

02:02:09.000 Now I have a vagina. 1.00

02:02:10.000 Oh, that's weird. 1.00

02:02:11.000 Lasix.

02:02:12.000 Lasix surgery.

02:02:13.000 The first guys to get in there and get their eyeballs cut open. 1.00

02:02:15.000 Oh, what the fuck. 1.00

02:02:16.000 Yikes. 1.00

02:02:17.000 Don't get any pigment for that.

02:02:18.000 That doesn't always work. 0.62

02:02:20.000 They're pretty goddamn good now. 0.90

02:02:21.000 Now they do it in a couple seconds. 0.95

02:02:23.000 And you get a video of it.

02:02:24.000 You get a souvenir photo.

02:02:25.000 Like at Splash Mountain.

02:02:27.000 Here's where we lasered your eyeball. 1.00

02:02:29.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

02:02:30.000 How did they figure that out, man? 1.00

02:02:33.000 How many people did they have to practice on before they got that technique down?

02:02:36.000 Did they use cadaver eyeballs?

02:02:37.000 Probably. 1.00

02:02:38.000 Goat's eyeballs and shit. 1.00

02:02:40.000 What's the closest to human eyeballs in an animal? 1.00

02:02:43.000 I think pig.

02:02:44.000 What if you could transfer pig eyes to people? 0.98

02:02:47.000 Well, they've already gotten out.

02:02:49.000 Again, it harkens back to transhumanism where they can let blind people see rough shapes and hard edges with light. 0.97

02:02:56.000 You go five years from now, they're going to have the same sight that we do.

02:02:59.000 You go ten years from now, they're going to have infrared, heat vision, thermal, all that stuff.

02:03:03.000 Yeah, it's a matter of time.

02:03:04.000 Because then it's just a lens.

02:03:05.000 As long as they can beam it right into your brain, that's it.

02:03:06.000 Do you contemplate where this is all headed when you look at this whole transhumanism thing? 0.75

02:03:11.000 You say, well, what happens if everybody lives forever?

02:03:13.000 What happens if there is no death?

02:03:15.000 I mean, what happens?

02:03:15.000 What about the resources, man?

02:03:16.000 We're already at max.

02:03:18.000 Are we, though?

02:03:20.000 Are we really at max?

02:03:21.000 We're not really.

02:03:21.000 We kind of exaggerate that, right?

02:03:23.000 Well, we say we're at max based off future projections. 0.99

02:03:26.000 We're not at max like tomorrow we're fucked. 0.99

02:03:28.000 We know at the current rate, with babies being born and ozone depleted and so much oil in the ground, we know that in 15, 20, 25 years, we might be fucked. 0.98

02:03:38.000 So that's why we need to invest in people. 0.99

02:03:39.000 It's also how much of our energy is projected and used towards making food and how much of it is towards fucking war and politics and nonsense. 0.95

02:03:48.000 And how the ways we manufacture food right now are making us sicker. 0.97

02:03:51.000 There's a whole thing there.

02:03:52.000 But regarding transhumanism, in 15, 20 years from now, we're going to be alive for debates that would be previously unheard of.

02:03:59.000 Should someone with a cybernetic implant be allowed to run in the Olympics or run for office?

02:04:04.000 Or should your kid go to the same elementary school when he's got infrared vision and that helps him with kickball?

02:04:08.000 Like that...

02:04:09.000 I have these conversations with people when it comes to the UFC when they start talking about how do you feel about banned substances because so many people keep getting busted.

02:04:17.000 Tiago Silva just got busted for turning in non-human urine because apparently he… No way.

02:04:23.000 He's not a human. 0.98

02:04:24.000 He took something for his back because he hurt his back, but he looked fucking swole in his last fight, and he was super aggressive, too. 1.00

02:04:32.000 Three swoles in one podcast. 1.00

02:04:33.000 Swole, dog.

02:04:34.000 There's four.

02:04:34.000 That's pretty crazy.

02:04:35.000 That's your new clothing line.

02:04:36.000 That's your new clothing line. 0.62

02:04:37.000 Yeah, swole. 1.00

02:04:38.000 With the abs on the outside with fucking eagles on. 1.00

02:04:39.000 It's just a cock. 1.00

02:04:40.000 It's just from GayDemon.com, what I do is I just take the best... 1.00

02:04:44.000 Gay cock picture. 0.99

02:04:45.000 Dude, that's what you need. 1.00

02:04:46.000 A ripped deep v-neck with like a silhouette giant cock coming out of the waist. 0.99

02:04:50.000 I've been thinking I need that too and I'm so glad somebody confirmed it. 0.99

02:04:52.000 And you just gesture to it.

02:04:53.000 That's all you need. 0.99

02:04:54.000 What the fuck was I saying before we got in this? 0.99

02:04:55.000 I don't know, but I've got to empty my bladder. 0.99

02:04:57.000 I've got to tap out.

02:04:59.000 What were you just saying? 1.00

02:05:01.000 Gay demons. 1.00

02:05:04.000 Oh, banned substances. 1.00

02:05:05.000 Sorry.

02:05:06.000 What? 1.00

02:05:07.000 Dragon's Fucking Cars. 0.99

02:05:08.000 Yeah, it didn't pull up, man. 0.99

02:05:10.000 Oh, here it goes.

02:05:12.000 But banned substances. 0.99

02:05:13.000 Anyway, what I was saying is that what people have to realize is, look at this dragon fucking a barracuda. 0.98

02:05:18.000 That's the first one I've tuned into. 0.99

02:05:20.000 See, now that's pretty sweet. 0.87

02:05:22.000 DragonsFuckingCars.com. 1.00

02:05:23.000 He's got a nice cock, too. 1.00

02:05:23.000 Look at that pink cock going into that muffler. 1.00

02:05:25.000 This is so weird, man. 1.00

02:05:26.000 That is weird. 0.89

02:05:26.000 That's really fucking weird. 0.89

02:05:27.000 Whoever put those two together? 0.99

02:05:29.000 I don't know.

02:05:29.000 People are strange, man.

02:05:31.000 But what I was saying about substances is what we're dealing with now is fairly simple.

02:05:36.000 We're dealing with people putting chemicals in their bodies.

02:05:39.000 We're dealing with people like, did you take steroids?

02:05:41.000 Did you take growth hormone?

02:05:42.000 Did you take...

02:05:43.000 They can't even test for growth hormone yet.

02:05:44.000 They can test for testosterone.

02:05:46.000 They can test for a bunch of different types of steroids that all work.

02:05:49.000 I mean, there's a reason why Barry Bonds got better as he got older.

02:05:52.000 I mean, there's a reason why Roger Clemens got better, stayed good as he got older.

02:05:56.000 There's a reason why there's a lot of these athletes that are well into their 40s that are competing, and it's chemicals.

02:06:01.000 And what they're basically doing is a low-level form of genetic engineering.

02:06:06.000 And what they're supposed to tell you is that, well, I mean, depending on what you're looking at, whether you're looking at old people who are doing it, hormone replacement therapy, a lot of people have different takes on that, and they say, well, that's okay, because what they're doing is just allowing their body to operate as if a young body did, and allows them to continue to compete.

02:06:22.000 That way you get to see...

02:06:23.000 You know, guys play baseball well into their 40s and do well.

02:06:26.000 But then you get guys who are like, okay, well, this guy's taking, you know, EPO and he's got twice as much red blood cells as the average person and he has incredible endurance because of that. 0.99

02:06:36.000 And then this guy's taking, you know, Anavar and he's, you know, got amazing muscle density and he's a fucking animal. 0.98

02:06:43.000 They're getting to superhuman levels. 0.98

02:06:46.000 And right now they're doing it through chemicals and they're injecting themselves with things.

02:06:50.000 But eventually, it's going to be much more complicated than that.

02:06:53.000 It's going to be genetic engineering.

02:06:55.000 What eventually it's going to do is they're going to be able to genetically manipulate the code of a human being, and they're going to be able to create human beings that are superhumans.

02:07:03.000 So we have to figure out, man, when it comes to...

02:07:07.000 Performance enhancing drugs and trying to level the playing field, so they say, you know, as far as like steroids in sports.

02:07:14.000 What you have to realize is that this is just the beginning.

02:07:17.000 It's going to get way, way, way more complex.

02:07:19.000 They're working on myostatin inhibitors where they've used these in mice and the mice Live longer and they jump fucking three feet in the air and they look like Superman.

02:07:26.000 I mean, this is going to happen and people are going to start taking this stuff.

02:07:30.000 And athletes are going to start taking it because regular people are going to start taking it too. 0.99

02:07:33.000 Because you're like, fuck, I want to live three times as long. 0.99

02:07:35.000 I want to be able to jump over buildings. 1.00

02:07:37.000 And if someone came along and they have a pill and they say, hey, Brian, would you like to take this super athlete pill?

02:07:41.000 There's no, you actually live longer.

02:07:43.000 You're going to be healthier because of it.

02:07:45.000 There's no repercussions physically.

02:07:47.000 And it's, you know, 100 bucks, 250 bucks and just changes you forever. 1.00

02:07:51.000 Well, fuck you. 1.00

02:07:51.000 Of course you take it. 1.00

02:07:53.000 At first, I'd let other people take it at first.

02:07:55.000 At first, but there would be a day where we would do the podcast.

02:07:57.000 But today is the at first.

02:07:58.000 Athletes are on the forefront of that and trying to tweak and hack their bodies. 0.97

02:08:01.000 It'll slowly disseminate down to the general public where every day your grade schooler's taking a pill because it's going to make them better at Tetherball.

02:08:07.000 Exactly, and you're going to be able to genetically engineer your child from birth eventually.

02:08:11.000 You're going to be able to say, I want a 6'6", super athletic, super mesomorph son with an incredible IQ. Talk about class wars.

02:08:19.000 That is when it's really – the shit is going to hit the fan. 1.00

02:08:21.000 Talk about the haves and have-nots. 1.00

02:08:22.000 Your kids have everything.

02:08:23.000 They're born with super vision, super speed, and super metabolism.

02:08:26.000 That's a very good point.

02:08:27.000 How can I keep up with that?

02:08:28.000 That's a very good point.

02:08:29.000 But people have to understand that the inequality and the inequity of the world is what fuels innovation and what fuels people competing and competition.

02:08:38.000 It fuels change.

02:08:40.000 It fuels growth and evolution.

02:08:42.000 And in all forms of art, in all forms of technology, in all forms of anything where people are comparing their work to other people's work and trying to compete, It's important.

02:08:53.000 I mean, I don't think it needs to be complete and total inequality where, you know, some people are dying of starvation and other people are eating diamonds.

02:09:00.000 There's a balance to be achieved there.

02:09:02.000 But you have to realize that in competition is growth.

02:09:06.000 And that's how all this, that's the motivation, the energy behind all this.

02:09:10.000 I just imagine Kanye West starting a new trend of, yeah, I'm eating pure diamonds. 0.98

02:09:13.000 I just mix it into my fucking smoothies from Jamba Juice. 1.00

02:09:15.000 That's diamonds, motherfuckers. 1.00

02:09:16.000 That's what I'm drinking. 1.00

02:09:18.000 Yeah, he wouldn't be far behind that.

02:09:20.000 Did you hear about the kids that are dying off of taking bath salts and plant food?

02:09:25.000 Yeah.

02:09:26.000 It's called like diamond dust.

02:09:27.000 Yeah.

02:09:27.000 We've talked about that.

02:09:28.000 It's sort of what they're calling it bath salts to sell it.

02:09:31.000 We were totally confused when we first did it.

02:09:34.000 We thought that bath salts was actual bath salts and someone figured out that you can get high off of it.

02:09:38.000 Yeah.

02:09:38.000 But they just labeled it that way.

02:09:39.000 Apparently, the chemical structure of it is not technically illegal because it's like a cousin of something that's illegal.

02:09:45.000 Yeah, it's called methadrone, I believe.

02:09:47.000 Don't put meth.

02:09:48.000 Even if it's a PH, don't put meth in the name of something if you want somebody to really try it.

02:09:53.000 They're making them illegal and one of the ways they're making them illegal is there's a law that allows you to make things illegal that are next-door neighbors' cousins to things that are illegal.

02:10:04.000 They use that with dimethyltryptamine and 5-methoxy dimethyltryptamine.

02:10:08.000 5-methoxy...

02:10:10.000 DMT, NN-dimethyltryptamine, it was the big one that they used in the 60s, and that was the Army Research Lab. 0.90

02:10:15.000 They had buckets of this shit, and scientists were getting ahold of it, and that's how Mechanic got ahold of it, and a lot of other people got ahold of it. 0.96

02:10:20.000 Well, when they locked that shit down in 1970, they didn't know about 5-methoxy dimethyltryptamine, which is actually more potent gram-for-gram than regular. 0.99

02:10:29.000 And you could buy it online, man. 1.00

02:10:31.000 I bought this shit from American Chemical Company. 1.00

02:10:33.000 I ordered it online. 1.00

02:10:34.000 Really?

02:10:35.000 Many, many years ago.

02:10:35.000 Would it arrive as a powder?

02:10:36.000 It arrives, yeah, a powder into like a little vitamin bottle. 0.99

02:10:39.000 It's ridiculous. 0.77

02:10:40.000 There is enough in that thing to get barbecued for the rest of your life. 1.00

02:10:42.000 You can cook your brain.

02:10:44.000 How do you regulate and make something illegal that your body naturally produces and secretes?

02:10:48.000 Well, you know, that's a good point.

02:10:50.000 Same.

02:10:50.000 But, you know, your body also naturally secretes testosterone.

02:10:53.000 Right.

02:10:54.000 And there's the question, like, should testosterone be available for everyone?

02:10:57.000 Well, like Sativex for weed.

02:10:58.000 They're like, well, you've heard of Sativex, right?

02:11:01.000 What is that?

02:11:01.000 Pharmaceutical form of sativa.

02:11:03.000 And they've done trials with it in the UK. And they find that, oh, these medicinal marijuana, yeah, we can regulate it and put it in pill form.

02:11:09.000 We'll call it Sativex and it'll give the same effects as smoking a bowl of sativa weed.

02:11:13.000 They've managed to isolate.

02:11:14.000 Does it really work?

02:11:15.000 Yeah, it does.

02:11:16.000 It's synthetic THC. But they're managed to make a naturally produced product illegal and then sell you the pill form of it, which is created in a lab.

02:11:24.000 Right.

02:11:25.000 How long before Monsanto starts genetically engineering marijuana and making its strains?

02:11:30.000 Right.

02:11:31.000 Bacteria-resistant, this, that, the other, and then throwing Johnny Appleseeds out so everybody's growing it so they can sue you later. 0.63

02:11:36.000 So they can sue you, yeah.

02:11:37.000 How crazy is that?

02:11:38.000 Crazy.

02:11:39.000 They're patenting nature.

02:11:40.000 That's really bizarre.

02:11:41.000 I mean, they're trying to patent pig parts and pigs and human organs.

02:11:45.000 I mean, that's next.

02:11:46.000 They'll find a way to slightly tweak, modify, and then patent the human genome.

02:11:50.000 Sure.

02:11:50.000 Exactly.

02:11:51.000 They'll own a certain level of person.

02:11:52.000 And this type of person, you know, they can call them like artificial people.

02:11:56.000 Yeah.

02:11:56.000 If you want a designer baby, that's fine.

02:11:58.000 But if he's going to have blue eyes and be over six feet, you owe Monsanto a check every month.

02:12:01.000 That's going to happen.

02:12:02.000 That is going to happen, right?

02:12:04.000 You're going to have to pay some sort of a royalty fee.

02:12:06.000 A subscription fee.

02:12:08.000 Subscription fee for the perfect child.

02:12:10.000 Apple's going to do it, too.

02:12:11.000 Where does it all end?

02:12:12.000 You know, I mean, there's the McKenna View, there's the Kurtz Wheel.

02:12:15.000 Do you think so?

02:12:16.000 I hope not.

02:12:17.000 Are you familiar at all with any of these people, like the Graham Hancocks or John Anthony West to the world, these people that believe that there was...

02:12:26.000 A distant civilization that was super advanced, that somehow or another everything fucked up, whether it was because of natural disasters or whether it was because of something man-made, and that we're literally another generation. 0.81

02:12:38.000 We have rebuilt from 6,000 plus years ago.

02:12:41.000 Right, like they sent DNA or sent embryos or whatever and shotgun blasted them out into space.

02:12:45.000 No, no, no, no.

02:12:46.000 Oh, I've heard that theory.

02:12:47.000 Yeah, that's another theory.

02:12:48.000 That's pansperia.

02:12:49.000 I mean, well, no, I think you're talking about something differently.

02:12:51.000 I'm talking about stuff that came in on asteroids.

02:12:53.000 But what I'm talking about by this John Anthony West and Robert Shock and all these other, what they're subscribing to, Graham Hancock is another one, is that civilization at one point in time, whether it's 10,500, 12,500 BC, somewhere else, was very advanced.

02:13:10.000 Right.

02:13:10.000 Okay, so like pyramids and Mayans, they figured it out and then they somehow fucked it up and we survived out of that.

02:13:16.000 Well, I think they're pretty sure that the pyramids were built at 2500 BC. But there's also some other shit around the pyramids that's confusing because there's some stuff, there's like certain styles of building and some of them they've found that are like deep, deep underground that they've had to like dig out.

02:13:32.000 And they were covered in sand. 0.93

02:13:33.000 The Sphinx, when they initially found it, was covered in sand.

02:13:36.000 And even back in the hieroglyph days, the Sphinx was covered in sand.

02:13:41.000 Who it was?

02:13:43.000 Thutmose III, I think it was, had to uncover it.

02:13:46.000 That's part of the hieroglyphs.

02:13:47.000 I think what they're trying to say is that at one point in time we had achieved great heights.

02:13:53.000 Whether or not exactly parallel with the way we live today, with technology, it might have been something different.

02:13:58.000 It might have been harnessing the power of sun with mirrors and limestone in a way that created a nuke blast as opposed to reactions. 0.68

02:14:04.000 Or it might have also been a psychedelically based society where we were much more into shamanic rituals and communicating with the spirit world or whatever the fuck that is.

02:14:14.000 It could have been a lot of that too. 0.95

02:14:16.000 I think it's very possible.

02:14:18.000 It's very, very possible.

02:14:19.000 Our ancestors could have been candy flippers.

02:14:20.000 Yes.

02:14:21.000 That could have happened.

02:14:21.000 Yes.

02:14:23.000 Well, there's a lot of evidence to that.

02:14:24.000 There's a lot of evidence.

02:14:25.000 I believe that.

02:14:26.000 Soma, you know, and you go to the Vedic texts and, you know, they all talk about different psychedelic bruises.

02:14:32.000 It's pretty clear they're talking about something that you take, you know, and look, that stuff existed forever.

02:14:37.000 We know that. 0.98

02:14:38.000 We also know that ancient cultures have been worshipping cows since the beginning of time, and not even eating them, even when they're fucking starving. 0.98

02:14:45.000 And that, to me, reeks of some deity. 0.94

02:14:48.000 I mean, why is it a deity?

02:14:49.000 Oh, because we use their milk, and they plow the fields for us. 1.00

02:14:52.000 Bullshit. 1.00

02:14:53.000 You're getting cow shit, and there's mushrooms that grow that cow shit, and you're tripping your fucking balls off. 1.00

02:14:58.000 That's what's really going on. 1.00

02:14:59.000 You're worshipping these cows.

02:15:00.000 The worship that they have is not indicative of anything other than the consumption of psychedelics.

02:15:05.000 It's like this weird love for this cow.

02:15:08.000 He's producing a door that allows you to unlock things in your brain.

02:15:11.000 For that to happen to me, people naturally identify with their own type and are as cruel to animals as they need to be.

02:15:19.000 And when you're starving, you need to be cruel to animals.

02:15:22.000 But yet, they don't.

02:15:23.000 And there's this disconnect from their actual physical needs and this love that worships on this, you know, deifying this animal. 1.00

02:15:31.000 And we also know that they're big on fucking psychedelics. 0.96

02:15:35.000 We know that their past has lots of references in the ancient texts to psychedelics. 1.00

02:15:38.000 And psychedelic mushrooms grow better on cow shit than anywhere in the world. 0.98

02:15:42.000 That's the best place for them. 0.99

02:15:43.000 Hana Maui, by the way.

02:15:43.000 Where's that?

02:15:44.000 Hana Maui.

02:15:45.000 Oh, on the island?

02:15:46.000 Really?

02:15:47.000 You find them up there?

02:15:47.000 Yeah, you just take the road to Hana and when you're there at like the Hana Maui Resort, the big old hill, you just climb it at about 6 in the morning, it's everywhere.

02:15:53.000 You know the entire Pacific Northwest of the United States?

02:15:57.000 The entire Pacific Northwest literally is like a mind of spores.

02:16:02.000 It's like one gigantic organism, life form, like a base of spores. 0.99

02:16:06.000 They're fucking everywhere up there. 0.82

02:16:09.000 Psychedelic mushrooms, like there's people that go up there and find them and grow them, but it's all connected with some... 0.99

02:16:14.000 I mean, literally, if you believe that...

02:16:16.000 That psychedelic mushrooms are some sort of a life form from somewhere else, which a lot of people believe.

02:16:22.000 Much like they believe that the pansperia theory that we were talking about earlier, that amino acids and all sorts of water and different things came from asteroids, hit Earth, and that started in seeded life.

02:16:33.000 They believe that somehow or another these spores came from other planets.

02:16:37.000 Because spores can survive in a vacuum, and spores can survive the deep radiation of space.

02:16:43.000 And the fact that this is something that permeates one entire part of the country.

02:16:49.000 I remember reading something about it.

02:16:53.000 If you connected it all together, how far and how wide it is.

02:17:01.000 And these mushrooms keep growing in the same space, in the same air.

02:17:05.000 I just know that they made me see words come out of somebody's mouth once.

02:17:08.000 Really? 0.99

02:17:08.000 That was the fucking trip of my life. 0.99

02:17:10.000 Would they look like English words? 0.99

02:17:12.000 Yeah, it was at a moment and I could hear conversations in the other room.

02:17:16.000 I couldn't hear them, but I could literally see words in 3D text form floating over the partitions in this guy's loft in downtown LA. And I was like, what?

02:17:23.000 And I looked at them and I'm like...

02:17:24.000 And I started recalling to my friend who was there.

02:17:27.000 Granted, this is all... 1.00

02:17:28.000 We're all fucked up. 0.99

02:17:29.000 But I'm like, they're talking about such and such in there. 0.99

02:17:31.000 Well, how do you hear that?

02:17:32.000 The music's loud.

02:17:32.000 I can see it.

02:17:33.000 And went in there and was literally, as people were talking to me, I was watching their mouths open up.

02:17:38.000 And the words that they were saying were physically coming out as text.

02:17:41.000 Their mouths were warping around it.

02:17:42.000 And so I must have looked like a tweaker and a half watching these words go by because I was trying to read it.

02:17:47.000 Like a ticker as they were talking. 0.96

02:17:48.000 So to the outside where I was scratching and going like this, they probably thought they'd fucked me up. 0.86

02:17:52.000 Did you ask them if you were right? 0.95

02:17:54.000 I was absolutely right.

02:17:55.000 We talk about it to this day.

02:17:56.000 Like I saw words coming out of people's mouths and was reading them.

02:17:59.000 Maybe I was hearing it and it was like some...

02:18:01.000 Your head was just...

02:18:02.000 Yeah, like a synesthesia.

02:18:03.000 My brain was going, this is what they're saying.

02:18:05.000 I don't know.

02:18:06.000 I don't care.

02:18:06.000 But you checked with them about what they were saying?

02:18:08.000 Yeah.

02:18:08.000 What were you on?

02:18:10.000 Just mushrooms.

02:18:10.000 How much?

02:18:11.000 Not that much.

02:18:12.000 Lightweight.

02:18:13.000 A couple of stems, a couple of caps.

02:18:14.000 Really?

02:18:15.000 Like peanut butter.

02:18:15.000 Yeah.

02:18:15.000 See, what's weird, Kevin, is that a lot of people, especially that I met through Joe, they're firm believers of like, you just got to eat a shitload of mushrooms.

02:18:24.000 I've never done this my whole life.

02:18:26.000 It's always been like half an eighth maybe.

02:18:29.000 That even sounds like crazy.

02:18:30.000 Yeah, I just took like half of a half of the eighth recently and had probably the most hardcore visuals I've ever had in my life on mushrooms.

02:18:38.000 Really?

02:18:39.000 I have friends that smoke salvia and they'll see visual distortions in the room.

02:18:42.000 They'll look up and the ceiling will rip apart and snow will come in.

02:18:45.000 I'm like, that's cool.

02:18:46.000 That sounds fun. 1.00

02:18:47.000 When I smoke it, I go to another fucking dimension. 1.00

02:18:49.000 Me too. 1.00

02:18:49.000 Another dimension. 1.00

02:18:50.000 I didn't do it right the first time I did it.

02:18:53.000 I only did it once and I didn't do it right.

02:18:55.000 I just did what they did.

02:18:56.000 I was like an out-of-body experience.

02:18:57.000 But what you guys are talking about, you absolutely can get a brilliant and beautiful experience from just a little bit of mushrooms.

02:19:04.000 There's no doubt about it.

02:19:05.000 But It's not the same experience.

02:19:07.000 How do you know that, though?

02:19:08.000 How do you know that?

02:19:09.000 Because I've done both?

02:19:10.000 Because you've done a little and you've done a lot?

02:19:12.000 Yeah, but you could have had it.

02:19:14.000 It's all about the mushrooms, I think.

02:19:15.000 Why are you saying how do you know that, dude?

02:19:17.000 This is documented throughout human history.

02:19:19.000 People have been doing it the shamanic way, where they take this large dose in silent darkness, and they do it, and they have a different experience than when you take smaller doses, and they know what they're doing.

02:19:28.000 I've had...

02:19:29.000 Physiologically, the different effects that it has on the human body.

02:19:32.000 But I've had...

02:19:32.000 The most I've ever had was probably maybe a quarter of mushrooms before.

02:19:36.000 Okay, but are you not listening to what you're saying?

02:19:38.000 Because if you're saying the most I've ever had, then you don't have experience about taking five grams or six grams.

02:19:43.000 I know.

02:19:43.000 You don't have that experience.

02:19:44.000 No, but I'm saying it in a different way. 0.98

02:19:45.000 I've had a quarter before, and yes, I've had a crazy ass shroom experience. 0.98

02:19:49.000 I had half of an eight the other day, and it blew that shit out of the water times a million, and it was just different mushrooms. 0.99

02:19:56.000 It could be that. 0.97

02:19:58.000 It also could be where you are physically.

02:20:00.000 It could be what you had in your stomach.

02:20:02.000 There's a lot of different things, but that doesn't mean anything because you haven't had the full-blown experience of the big dose to compare it to.

02:20:08.000 Yeah, but does it even do anything when it gets to a certain point?

02:20:11.000 I was going to say, for me, at some point, I don't know what's beyond that because I would have pissed myself and vomited all over myself.

02:20:16.000 I can't go any further than that physically.

02:20:18.000 McKenna did a lecture once and he was talking about a friend of his that chose to remain anonymous but he was like this like crazy psychedelic guy who every time he did mushrooms his goal was to try to tolerate more and he would go to like 10 grams and have these like you know What you do is you literally completely dissolve. 0.92

02:20:37.000 You cease to exist, and you make contact with whatever the fuck it is that you're making contact. 0.70

02:20:43.000 At first, it seems like another life form. 0.99

02:20:46.000 It seems like some sort of a thing that's communicating with you.

02:20:49.000 And then somewhere along the line, it becomes like another world.

02:20:52.000 It becomes like this goes away.

02:20:56.000 And you go into this next sort of dimension.

02:20:58.000 It's incredible.

02:20:59.000 It's so religious and beautiful.

02:21:02.000 And when I say religious, it's like iconic imagery, but almost indescribable because they're morphing and changing around you. 0.85

02:21:09.000 But it's all like love and wisdom.

02:21:11.000 Warmth and acceptance and whatever.

02:21:13.000 It's powerful.

02:21:14.000 It's not poison.

02:21:15.000 The LD50 rate is ridiculously high. 0.97

02:21:18.000 You have to eat like shitloads of mushrooms to die. 0.72

02:21:21.000 It's not poison. 0.98

02:21:22.000 To die, yes.

02:21:23.000 But probably not...

02:21:23.000 I mean, mushrooms is a mushroom.

02:21:25.000 It is a poison to your body.

02:21:27.000 No, it's not.

02:21:28.000 Mushroom is not poison, Brian.

02:21:30.000 Salt is poison.

02:21:31.000 Is salt poison? 1.00

02:21:32.000 Well, if you eat a half pound of salt, you'll fucking die. 0.99

02:21:34.000 It's not salt. 0.99

02:21:34.000 It's not a poison. 0.99

02:21:36.000 Strychnine is a fucking poison. 0.99

02:21:37.000 What psychedelic drugs are is there something that allows your body to tune into whatever the fuck it is, to change the chemical composition of your brain, to fuck with your neurochemistry to the point where... 1.00

02:21:47.000 But to be fair, some would define that as a poison. 0.98

02:21:50.000 They would say you're poisoning your body and that's why your stomach and your mind is reacting.

02:21:54.000 But it doesn't wreck your body.

02:21:56.000 It's shocking.

02:21:57.000 At the end, you're worn out.

02:21:58.000 Some people have lent mushrooms and psilocybin to depressiveness, bipolarism, manic states.

02:22:05.000 Yeah, but that's not good studies.

02:22:07.000 Exactly.

02:22:07.000 Those people might have been unstable to begin with.

02:22:08.000 Which is why they're doing psychedelic hardcore drugs in the first place.

02:22:11.000 Just like they tried to say salvia killed some kid, but he was having issues on antidepressants before then.

02:22:15.000 Sure, of course.

02:22:16.000 Yeah.

02:22:16.000 What I'm saying is, you know, I'm absolutely with you that small doses can give you beautiful experiences, but it's a different thing than the high doses.

02:22:24.000 The high doses are ego-obliterating.

02:22:26.000 I'll never achieve that.

02:22:27.000 No?

02:22:28.000 You scared?

02:22:28.000 Oh, yeah.

02:22:29.000 Scared, homie? 0.99

02:22:29.000 From that last time, man. 0.99

02:22:30.000 I know I had a flight the next day, and I ended up at LAX swiping my credit card from terminal to terminal in the machines, hoping one would recognize my itinerary and spit it out.

02:22:39.000 I was like, oh, this was really unprofessional.

02:22:40.000 I probably shouldn't have eaten all those mushrooms the night before a flight to New York and a shoot.

02:22:44.000 But you figured out how to get there.

02:22:45.000 How could you not figure out how to look at your phone and your email that tells you where you're supposed to go?

02:22:49.000 It's one of those things, man.

02:22:50.000 One of those things. 1.00

02:22:51.000 That's some good shit. 0.98

02:22:52.000 I had a really strong DMT trip, which is the last one that I had, and I haven't done anything like that in a couple of years. 0.99

02:22:59.000 Because it was so powerful that for like...

02:23:02.000 A couple weeks afterwards, nothing seemed normal.

02:23:06.000 I mean, everything worked.

02:23:07.000 I could read, I could watch TV, I could have conversations, I could talk to people.

02:23:11.000 No one would know that behind the surface, I was like, I don't believe in the world anymore.

02:23:16.000 I don't trust in this dimension.

02:23:18.000 You're waiting for Morpheus to load a patch to fly a helicopter into your brain because you believe now you're in the Matrix.

02:23:22.000 It was so humbling and so crazy and moving. 1.00

02:23:27.000 And people go, bro, it's just fucking drugs, man. 1.00

02:23:29.000 You're just doing drugs and your head's getting all fucked up. 1.00

02:23:32.000 It's all you're doing is you're doing drugs. 1.00

02:23:34.000 Maybe.

02:23:35.000 Maybe not.

02:23:36.000 You don't know.

02:23:37.000 We're not really sure what's going on, but I guarantee you that changed my life.

02:23:41.000 Right.

02:23:41.000 I can guarantee you that whatever that is, if it's just drugs, you know, that just drugs changed me as a human being and made me reevaluate everything.

02:23:49.000 You know, and it's still to this day like haunting.

02:23:51.000 That's like saying, oh, it's just religion.

02:23:53.000 It's just something you believe in that changes every facet of your life that has given you visions and made you appreciate things in a new way.

02:23:58.000 That's all it is.

02:23:58.000 It's just religion.

02:23:59.000 It's the real religion. 0.60

02:24:00.000 The real religion is the psychedelic experience.

02:24:02.000 I mean, there's a John Marco Allegro book.

02:24:04.000 They're all just as real as you prescribe to them.

02:24:06.000 There's a John Marco Allegro book who is one of the scholars that reviewed the Dead Sea Scrolls.

02:24:11.000 He deciphered the Dead Sea Scrolls.

02:24:12.000 For 14 years, worked on it.

02:24:13.000 And at the end of 14 years, he said that the entire Christian religion was a huge misunderstanding.

02:24:17.000 And what it really was about was the consumption of psychedelic mushrooms and fertility cults.

02:24:21.000 And he wraps it all up.

02:24:23.000 It's almost impossible to follow, you know, like to follow the, you know, the origins of the words. 0.99

02:24:30.000 And it's like, it's really like trippy shit. 0.80

02:24:32.000 But the fact that this guy's got it locked down to this one mushroom, this psychedelic mushroom that's taken throughout Europe, you know, constantly. 0.99

02:24:39.000 You know, we know that the Vikings took mushrooms and they would go on berserkers. 0.75

02:24:43.000 You know, they would get fucked up on mushrooms and then go attack villages. 0.93

02:24:46.000 You know, I mean, that's how they were. 0.98

02:24:48.000 Yeah, man, they would get high on mushrooms.

02:24:51.000 I still maintain.

02:24:51.000 I found my spirituality on salvia.

02:24:53.000 I started with small doses and then I've done about six times and I don't want to do it again because the last time I did it was so fucking powerful and magical.

02:25:00.000 Very similar to your DMT experience.

02:25:02.000 Salvia is super potent.

02:25:03.000 I flew out of my brain and just went kind of canatonic and I saw parallel universes, parallel dimensions. 0.97

02:25:11.000 Spiraling out of the corner of my eye like I was just sort of floating in this in this abyss and I saw it was rotating it was making a noise it had gravity to it and it was almost like I could see wedges of reality if I couldn't look directly at it it would blind me but out of my peripheral I could see these wedges of reality going by and I was like what is that what is that And something said, just fucking go for it.

02:25:28.000 And so I remember reaching out my hand, what felt like my hand at the time, and it slowed the sphere down, and then it sucked me into one of those wedges.

02:25:35.000 And I felt like I was a kid running around in what felt like a Russian stadium, for whatever reason, holding a flag, and there was confetti. 0.87

02:25:41.000 And I was with a bunch of other kids, like it was a halftime celebration or some shit. 0.95

02:25:44.000 And I was like, yay! 0.93

02:25:45.000 It felt as real as any other experience I've had in my life.

02:25:48.000 And I shotgunned out of it, and then it was rotating, and I went...

02:25:51.000 Oh, can I do that again?

02:25:52.000 And I reached down and slowed it down.

02:25:53.000 And I went in and I was driving a car.

02:25:55.000 It was like another reality that I could have been living.

02:25:57.000 And it was just all dimensions.

02:25:59.000 And you can't tell me it was drugs, drugs, drugs.

02:26:01.000 Because it totally was to some extent.

02:26:03.000 But you can't tell me it wasn't as real as any other experience that I had.

02:26:06.000 And when I came to on the couch... 0.99

02:26:08.000 I just went, holy shit. 1.00

02:26:09.000 You're fucking freaking me out, man. 1.00

02:26:11.000 Did you record all these? 0.99

02:26:13.000 Like a good Salvia user?

02:26:15.000 Well, yes.

02:26:16.000 Yes, I did, actually.

02:26:17.000 Everybody was running it down.

02:26:19.000 I had one in the tank where I had eaten some pot. 0.99

02:26:22.000 And when you eat a lot of pot, especially if you eat the really strong shit, you can have some incredible visuals, man. 0.99

02:26:28.000 Have you ever eaten it on a plane and closed your eyes and see cartoons? 0.99

02:26:31.000 Not in pot.

02:26:32.000 I had to drive to Palm Springs just not too long ago on some edibles.

02:26:36.000 I had a very similar vision, whatever it is, hallucination.

02:26:41.000 Parallel dimensions and universes?

02:26:43.000 Yeah, with mine, I was in the center of what it started out with me.

02:26:47.000 What it started out with is like, with the tank, I mean, how many times have you done the tank?

02:26:51.000 Only like three or four.

02:26:53.000 With me?

02:26:54.000 But I've never done it high.

02:26:55.000 Oh, Jesus. 1.00

02:26:56.000 What the fuck is wrong with you, son? 0.99

02:26:58.000 I met some dude named Crash on the boardwalk who was trying to tell me about vibrating my spirit, and then he's like, yeah, I hop in my tank. 1.00

02:27:03.000 Yeah, he's crazy, but he's right.

02:27:05.000 But don't begrudge me smoking pot before I hop into Crash's time machine.

02:27:09.000 You're scared.

02:27:11.000 I played too many point-and-click adventure games to know that that could end with Rape.

02:27:14.000 Choose your own adventure.

02:27:15.000 With me, it started out just getting to the center, relaxing, letting go, and then once I let go, then it always feels like once I get to a certain point of relaxation and I've completely calmed my mind, then it starts to take me away, almost like as if I feel like I'm in a river.

02:27:31.000 I feel like I'm awash in some sort of invisible...

02:27:34.000 You feel like a molecule, like a single molecule?

02:27:36.000 Yeah.

02:27:36.000 Well, as I was doing this, I came to a point where I recognized my space, and then the space of the planet, and then the planet in the space of the galaxy, and the galaxy in the space of the universe.

02:27:48.000 And then the whole universe became like this bubble that was trapped inside some gigantic, infinite ball of yarn.

02:27:57.000 And each thread...

02:27:59.000 Of this ball of yarn was like one universe after another universe and they were all together swirling in this moving ball of yarn of universes connected like circles connected even with a tube like they connected them all together and it was all luminescent and it was all I was trying to take in all the information that was going on all these different various worlds but it was all different and all the same and it was all happening simultaneously and as I was trying to figure out like how big this This ball of yarn is.

02:28:29.000 It got literally too big for me to wrap my head around.

02:28:31.000 Then I snapped out of it.

02:28:32.000 Right.

02:28:32.000 And then I lost it.

02:28:33.000 How long were you in the tank?

02:28:34.000 A couple hours.

02:28:35.000 A couple hours, yeah.

02:28:35.000 The deeper I get, the longer I'm in there, the more I can relax.

02:28:39.000 And it's almost like you achieve different wavelengths, different mind frequencies.

02:28:45.000 I know that you do in meditation, in extreme meditation.

02:28:48.000 They've taken monks and they've done studies. 1.00

02:28:51.000 I am so jealous and envious of that shit. 1.00

02:28:53.000 Of monks? 1.00

02:28:54.000 Yeah.

02:28:54.000 Well, just the people that can deep meditate and get to that place versus needing to take salvia or needing to smoke some DMT. I'm not capable of shutting it all off like that.

02:29:01.000 But if you do that deep meditating, like the monk life?

02:29:04.000 Yeah, if I did it every day and that was my only existence, then sure, that'd be fine.

02:29:07.000 But I got a mortgage.

02:29:09.000 Yeah, dude.

02:29:09.000 I got to cheat to get to space.

02:29:11.000 You want to get laid, okay?

02:29:13.000 You want to watch TV. Fuck all that monk shit. 1.00

02:29:14.000 I need Netflix and cartoons. 1.00

02:29:16.000 I'll find the universe by smoking it.

02:29:18.000 You can get it there, though.

02:29:20.000 I got a conversation with my ego on salvia, and that was true. 0.97

02:29:22.000 I found it inside the visualizer of my Xbox 360 of all places. 1.00

02:29:26.000 That son of a bitch was hiding out in there. 0.98

02:29:28.000 I put that on and at the time you could use the vision cam so when you move around it would make the visuals on the screen go nuts. 0.99

02:29:34.000 Jeff Minter is a genius.

02:29:35.000 Remember the 3DO? Do you remember the 3DO at all?

02:29:39.000 Oh, the 3DO. The console.

02:29:40.000 Yeah, 3DO. It used to come with a trippy game where you could control this kaleidoscope.

02:29:44.000 And when I used to be a kid doing acid, that was like the first lava link.

02:29:47.000 Okay, get to your ego. 1.00

02:29:48.000 I took a rip and handed the bowl to a friend and was like, oh shit. 0.99

02:29:52.000 And there it went and I started dissolving the similar single molecule. 0.98

02:29:55.000 Oh, I'm within my couch now.

02:29:57.000 My couch is made of molecules.

02:29:58.000 Cool, get out of that. 0.93

02:29:59.000 Projected forth and was like, oh, the Xbox looks pretty sweet right now.

02:30:02.000 Why don't I just fly into that?

02:30:03.000 And I did and there was this pulsating ball after I went through all these little wormholes and tunnel and it was pulsating to the beat of the music that was happening.

02:30:09.000 And I knew that I could go further but I was like, what's going on here?

02:30:11.000 And he's like, oh, I'm every issue you have right now.

02:30:14.000 You know exactly what I am. 1.00

02:30:15.000 And I was like, oh, fuck. 0.99

02:30:16.000 What's in my Xbox visualizer? 1.00

02:30:18.000 What's going on, bro?

02:30:19.000 And he's like, you know what you need to get in order. 1.00

02:30:21.000 You know you need to fucking fix your shit. 1.00

02:30:22.000 I was like, yeah, I know, I know. 1.00

02:30:23.000 He's like, so relax and fix it.

02:30:25.000 All right.

02:30:25.000 We had a whole conversation.

02:30:27.000 And I was like, cool, can I go swim around in the visuals now?

02:30:29.000 And he's like, party on, bro.

02:30:30.000 Like totally gave me the permission to go flying around.

02:30:33.000 And it was incredible. 0.98

02:30:33.000 One of the most amazing and underappreciated aspects of any psychedelic experience is the work that you do on your own personality and your mind and uncovering all the bullshit that's fucking with us. 0.98

02:30:43.000 That's why people have, not everybody, but that's why some of my friends have had bad trips.

02:30:47.000 It's obvious, oh, I reached a point where I felt like I was going to die and I felt like, no, you were getting deconstructed as a human being and you weren't ready to come to grips with the fact that there might be something bigger than you.

02:30:55.000 That there might be something real that you're about to experience and you couldn't let that go.

02:30:59.000 Yeah, absolutely.

02:31:00.000 And that's the issue.

02:31:00.000 Well, paranoia.

02:31:01.000 I mean, we had this conversation many times, and someone recently brought this up on the message board.

02:31:07.000 They were talking about the people that get paranoid are the people that aren't dealing with their life. 0.99

02:31:10.000 They've got some shit that they don't like about themselves. 0.99

02:31:12.000 They feel fucking creepy, and that's the reason why they freak out every time they get high. 0.99

02:31:17.000 It's like the marijuana does not allow you to have secrets. 0.97

02:31:19.000 The marijuana turns some lights on in the corner in the attic of your house and goes, Hey, what's going on? 0.99

02:31:24.000 What's all this shit over here? 0.99

02:31:25.000 What are you hiding over here? 1.00

02:31:26.000 What's that, kiddie porn? 1.00

02:31:27.000 And the roaches scatter out through your mouth and your eyes and everything else. 0.98

02:31:29.000 I had my internal monologue switched with my external monologue once on mushrooms. 0.99

02:31:35.000 And I remember looking at people like, why the fuck are you looking at me right now? 0.97

02:31:38.000 Like, what are you doing? 0.99

02:31:38.000 Is that a red watch? 0.99

02:31:39.000 Why the fuck are you staring at me like that right now? 0.99

02:31:41.000 And I was saying it all out loud. 0.99

02:31:42.000 And it was completely switched for about 30 minutes.

02:31:44.000 People were chatting with my internal monologue.

02:31:46.000 And everything I wanted to externalize was swallowed inside. 1.00

02:31:48.000 And it was like, fuck. 0.99

02:31:49.000 Thankfully, I'm a decent enough person to where I didn't admit to the bodies in the basement. 1.00

02:31:53.000 But that could have been bad.

02:31:54.000 Do you think that psychedelics, or have you ever even considered, that they're agents of human evolution and that they're here to rocket you forward and rocket us forward and the reason why we're not monkeys?

02:32:06.000 I believe in a mixture of all those things, but I certainly can understand an animal taking something and thinking about a rock in a different way and going, that could be a spear to kill an animal. 0.99

02:32:17.000 Why the fuck not? 0.87

02:32:18.000 If I can see other planets and have a chat with my Xbox visuals, why couldn't a gorilla in a forest have realized a better way to keep warm? 0.99

02:32:24.000 Yeah, psychedelic mushrooms have been around in the current state for thousands and thousands and thousands of years, long predating what we know of as human civilization.

02:32:31.000 We know monkeys will eat anything. 0.99

02:32:33.000 They'll try shit out. 1.00

02:32:34.000 They'll try anything out. 1.00

02:32:35.000 They'll pee in their own mouths in a tree.

02:32:36.000 It's the greatest video ever.

02:32:37.000 It is pretty good.

02:32:38.000 They'll do whatever they want.

02:32:38.000 It's almost as good as the one where he fleshlights a frog.

02:32:41.000 Oh my god, that poor frog. 1.00

02:32:42.000 That's just a bomb.

02:32:43.000 I love that he goes through the gorilla sutra.

02:32:47.000 He tries different positions with it.

02:32:49.000 He's like, I'm going to sit on my back.

02:32:50.000 Nah, that's not enough.

02:32:50.000 I'm going to teabag him for a while.

02:32:52.000 He really puts that frog through its paces.

02:32:54.000 And it's amazing that people are sitting there watching, too.

02:32:56.000 And they're laughing and filming it and joking around. 0.99

02:32:58.000 Families are there and shit. 1.00

02:33:00.000 And this chimp is just mouth-fucking the shit out of his frog. 1.00

02:33:03.000 Meanwhile, hide your eyes from real sex and turn your eyes towards all the slaughter and murder on TV. We talked about this before, but I'll just bring it up one more time before we get out of here. 1.00

02:33:12.000 There's...

02:33:13.000 A website that had this horrific video of drug killing in Mexico.

02:33:18.000 And this guy had been chopped up into all sorts of pieces.

02:33:20.000 And they showed everything in graphic detail.

02:33:22.000 Except they cut his hands off. 1.00

02:33:23.000 And in one of the hands was his dick and balls. 1.00

02:33:26.000 And his dick and balls, they blurred out. 1.00

02:33:27.000 They blurred it. 1.00

02:33:28.000 They're like, what?

02:33:29.000 You've got to pixelate that.

02:33:30.000 We can't let the kids know.

02:33:31.000 What?

02:33:31.000 What a weird world.

02:33:34.000 You hear about the protests going on right now in Mexico.

02:33:36.000 Do you think that's about to boil over really fast?

02:33:38.000 What is going on?

02:33:39.000 There are thousands of people in the streets about the drug cartels and the violence on the same day that they discovered mass graves.

02:33:44.000 Yeah, they discovered another mass grave.

02:33:46.000 This is the same place where there's 72 people recently.

02:33:48.000 This is over 50 people.

02:33:49.000 It's terrifying, man.

02:33:51.000 That's really close to all of us.

02:33:53.000 It's all happening right now.

02:33:54.000 Meanwhile, we've got to go to Libya.

02:33:56.000 We've got to go to Afghanistan. 0.99

02:33:57.000 And keep that War on Drugs hopping along so that we finance all that shit. 0.99

02:34:00.000 That's the insane part. 1.00

02:34:02.000 It's all fucking crazy, Kevin. 0.99

02:34:04.000 It's all crazy. 0.99

02:34:05.000 This has been the uplifting podcast.

02:34:07.000 This is a badass podcast.

02:34:08.000 This is chicken soup for the podcast.

02:34:09.000 Listen, man.

02:34:10.000 Anytime you want to come on, you're more than welcome.

02:34:12.000 It was a fascinating, awesome conversation.

02:34:14.000 Appreciate it, man.

02:34:14.000 It's been a joy.

02:34:14.000 I enjoyed it very, very much.

02:34:15.000 Pleasure to have you on, and thank you very much for wanting to be on it in the first place.

02:34:18.000 Thank you.

02:34:19.000 So you can get a hold of Kevin on Twitter. 1.00

02:34:21.000 Please follow him, for he is, in fact, the shit. 0.99

02:34:24.000 And you can get him on... 1.00

02:34:26.000 His Twitter is K-P-E-R-E-I-R-A. So K Pereira in the house, ladies and gentlemen.

02:34:36.000 Thank you very much.

02:34:37.000 Thank you, sir.

02:34:37.000 And watch Attack of the Show on G4. Yes.

02:34:39.000 When is that on on G4? It's 7 p.m.

02:34:41.000 Eastern, and you can find us online at g4tv.com.

02:34:43.000 And you film it Monday through Thursday, correct?

02:34:45.000 Yeah, we're live every day. 0.99

02:34:46.000 Live every day, you dirty hoes. 1.00

02:34:49.000 Thank you very much for tuning in, everybody. 0.85

02:34:53.000 There's still a couple tickets left for Toronto, April 29th, for the Massey Hall Theatre.

02:34:58.000 Philly, I believe, is totally sold out, even though we added that second show on Thursday.

02:35:02.000 If it's not, second show Thursday is all that's left.

02:35:04.000 And that is next weekend. 1.00

02:35:06.000 And that's a full death squad, bitches. 1.00

02:35:07.000 That's Ari Shafir and Joe Diaz next weekend in Philly. 1.00

02:35:11.000 And I'm excited to see you, bitches. 1.00

02:35:12.000 Thank you very much for coming in. 0.99

02:35:14.000 Coming in?

02:35:15.000 You guys didn't even come in.

02:35:16.000 This show's over.

02:35:18.000 Check out DeathSquad.tv too.

02:35:20.000 Check out DeathSquad.tv and subscribe to DeathSquad if you're looking for more podcasts.

02:35:25.000 Brian has his own podcast network thing going on on iTunes.

02:35:29.000 It's called DeathSquad and every day it's different shows.

02:35:33.000 It's Ari Shafir, Tom Segura. 0.97

02:35:34.000 High level stand-up comedians are sitting around shooting the shit and it's great stuff. 0.99

02:35:39.000 That's it. 0.99

02:35:39.000 I love you freaks. 0.99

02:35:40.000 Where's my flashlight?

02:35:41.000 Oh, yeah.

02:35:41.000 I'll get Kevin a flashlight.

02:35:42.000 And go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link that says Fleshlight, get 15% off the number one adult toy in the world, and Kevin's going to fuck one tonight. 0.99

02:35:50.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.96

02:35:51.000 All right, thank you, everybody.

02:35:52.000 Love you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 08, 2011

Joe Rogan Experience #96 - Kevin Pereira

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