Brian Whitaker and Daryl Ryder join the show to talk about a variety of topics, including the fact that Daryl's microphone is not working right, and how to fix it. Also, the boys talk about how much they love Adam Carolla.
00:00:33.000The Joe Rogan Experience The Joe Rogan Experience You know, people complaining about that drum thing in the beginning, that don't, don't, smash.
00:00:57.000They're complaining, man, the fuck's in my hearing, dude.
00:03:49.000Then there's a person who looks up stuff on the web and pulls it up as you're talking about it.
00:03:53.000So like, I have to Google shit myself.
00:03:55.000He's got dudes who pull shit up on some giant big screen.
00:03:58.000And then he's got a sound effects board, which is that was the one thing that I would cut.
00:04:02.000Like in the middle of the conversation, a dude hits buttons and it sounds like a jail cell closing or another one sounds like a dog in darkness.
00:04:09.000He does his podcast with Lovis's Club.
00:04:12.000And dog, it's like an hour and a half set up.
00:06:28.000He writes some independent stuff too, but He writes these brilliant articles for Rolling Stone where he sort of like details the depths of the corruption that's involved in the financial institution.
00:06:39.000And it's like, wait a minute, first of all, if this is true, how the fuck is this the only guy talking about this, man?
00:06:45.000How is this the only guy screaming in the streets?
00:06:48.000How is Matt Taibbi the only bad motherfucker who's writing these articles that's exposing everything?
00:06:54.000I mean, there's the guys who made that inside job movie.
00:07:09.000And the whole funny part is, just like you would tell somebody to put a weed dealer in jail, the first Wall Street dude that has to do hard time, it's over with.
00:07:29.000Dude, these are billions of dollars here.
00:07:33.000You're talking about money that's beyond our comprehension.
00:07:36.000You're getting into like where guys are getting fired because their bank failed and they're getting hundreds of millions of dollars in bonuses.
00:07:55.000As long as there's enough comfort where people can sleep and they can watch cable and they can get fucking Wendy's, you know, and get the double cheeseburger.
00:08:02.000You know, as long as that's all there for them, people aren't going to freak out.
00:08:05.000When shit gets bad is when people don't have food, when people don't have gas, when people, then riots in the streets happen.
00:08:12.000As long as they can keep the infrastructure up and keep supermarkets stuffed and keep a reasonable amount of jobs available, they can just keep fucking us.
00:08:19.000Have you guys noticed the fucking increase lately in these asshole bums who drive up with a car, like asking you for spare change at the fucking gas station?
00:08:27.000You've had a guy pull up in a car asking you for change?
00:08:30.000No, they want money from you to make their car go further.
00:08:33.000They're begging you at the gas station now from a car.
00:09:40.000They might hit me up for change to fucking get something to drink, but just drive your car up to a gas station and ask somebody else for gas.
00:09:47.000No, and they take up the damn pump and they stay there until they get something.
00:09:50.000See, somebody would have been slapped by then, man.
00:09:52.000Somebody hit me up for money at Disneyland.
00:10:31.000You don't always have your shit together from the get-go.
00:10:33.000And when you're short on money, sometimes you have to have peanut butter sandwiches or roll pennies to make your shit.
00:10:37.000I want to fucking tell these assholes at the gas stations that you guys have apparently never had to deal with.
00:10:40.000I don't know, in case anybody else has who's listening, it's like, if you can't afford a fucking car, you know, just get a bigger car called a fucking bus.
00:10:53.000Like, one of the things that I think that I go through, and I've been blessed in that type of concept, is just what you're saying, and that's personal responsibility.
00:15:20.000You and me, we follow fighting mostly.
00:15:22.000I mean, like, and every other sport, at least I don't know about you, but I mean, like to me, it's like every other sport is just kind of like a delusion of, you know, like, I don't know, it's just a, and like, you've talked about it.
00:15:32.000Like, if somebody gets into a fight in a game, I'm interested.
00:15:35.000Do like, do, like, do like, do, like, your fans know how much you really fucking follow fighting?
00:15:44.000The thing about sports is that what sports don't have, what fighting doesn't have, that sports do have, like team sports, is the joy of seeing all these people work together.
00:15:52.000There's something beautiful about a basketball game where one dude makes a call and the other dude fakes a pass, runs in, passes it off, and the other dude hits the three and everything falls in line like they practiced it.
00:16:04.000And you're like, look at that, man, look at that.
00:16:06.000And everybody gets crazy and they all high-five each other.
00:16:13.000There's something beautiful about watching a soccer team pull off some crazy pass that they've rehearsed many times and the guy shoots the goal in.
00:16:21.000There's something about that when everybody gets together and hugs and cheers.
00:16:24.000You don't quite ever get that in fighting.
00:18:34.000I came into this on total fucking accident.
00:18:37.000I was a bouncer right off Skid Row in downtown LA for two years, like in those little, those bars they got out there to move the hipsters in and make it safe and everything and just make the area.
00:18:48.000Well, basically, they've been slowly, slowly, slowly pushing Skid Row and downtown LA a little bit further, like just towards the fucking river.
00:18:54.000If you've never seen this, by the way, we filmed Fear Factor down there.
00:18:58.000We used to do downtown LA shit all the time.
00:19:17.000I'm talking block after block of just crazed out homeless people who are sleeping right there on the ground with shopping carts and, you know, one shoe on and tattered and everyone's cracked out.
00:25:40.000And it's like, even with what you were saying, like, I hate when people use the term subtle to anything.
00:25:46.000It's like, it's just terminology nowadays is just pissing me off because it's like, dog, I'm a firm believer that it ain't no such thing as racism no more as you know it.
00:27:37.000Now, as an intelligent person, you're supposed to be able to recognize this is just a human being that was born Chinese and this is a human being that was born African and this and it's all just some crazy lottery and we're all in this together and you should judge people in their actions.
00:27:50.000That's the intelligent evolved approach.
00:27:53.000But how many fucking people are intelligent and evolved?
00:27:56.000It is natural that racism is going to exist.
00:27:58.000It's going to exist just like being stupid is always going to exist.
00:29:38.000Just the fact, and this is going to sound weird.
00:29:40.000Just the fact that I'm on this podcast, for instance, it's plenty of comics that I respect and I love, but they would not let me into their home.
00:30:34.000And where you were saying that people see stuff a certain way, I think that I programmed myself to put racism out of the picture and just handle myself a certain way so that I can't.
00:30:47.000I understand you've done that with your mind.
00:30:51.000So maybe me making that blanket statement was a little bit too much.
00:30:55.000But in my mind, I can't see racism as an option for me to blame something or something exterior for me not doing what I got.
00:31:02.000I guarantee you we could have an awesome TV show where it take you and put you in a fucking bow tie and bring you around white neighborhoods in the South.
00:31:08.000And you will see some fucking racism like you wouldn't believe.
00:31:38.000I'm like, I wouldn't say racism is dead either.
00:31:40.000I think that's always a bold statement he's making.
00:31:42.000But I mean, like, honestly, like, we're at a point now where it's like, like, all right, when the, when, when people, Wiggers, for instance, okay, Wiggers, people say, all right, Wiggers, it's a very dangerous word to say, right?
00:34:24.000Or they're yelling at the dolls, like, you know, kind of like as a mom.
00:34:27.000Like, I was talking to one of the girls that was in one of these movies, and they're like, yeah, it's really weird because like you're yelling at these dolls and then like one would knock over and then you have to kind of set it back up while you're in scene and stuff like that.
00:34:39.000So I went to this website and this is a beautiful website.
00:34:42.000At first I was shocked, but now I think I love this shit and I think it's the coolest shit ever.
00:37:04.000If you go on YouTube and type in giantest trailer 2009, this is kind of give you a sample where it shows a really big woman and little people.
00:38:00.000Yeah, and I've always thought about that because, you know, like the Indian in the cupboard, I was always thinking, like, wow, you know, this is a book for kids about a naked, half-dressed man that is put in, he kept him in his pocket, and his name is like Big Bear or something like that.
00:38:15.000And there was something weird and sexual about that naked Indian guy and your kid.
00:38:20.000If your kid, if you, your kid came up to you and you had a naked Indian man in your pocket, you'd be fucking pissed.
00:38:24.000Was he a naked one or was he one of those Indians with all the feathers and shit?
00:38:27.000Well, no, he had, I think he just had like that little, you know.
00:38:30.000Yeah, a little loincloth with a little feather and his ball hanging out on one side.
00:39:05.000The guy from the what's the movie with Hugh Grant?
00:39:09.000No, the guy from the movie where they keep going to weddings and fucking bitches oh wedding crashers yeah the wedding crashers the one guy from the wedding crashers went in that because he because he played a movie from 1995 i think he played a cowboy in that pal skardino lightfoot and lindsey crow are listed as the actors so i don't know who oh no he was in no he was in the smithsonian movie never mind okay telling you we're gonna have a new rule no no more sober people when
00:39:40.000When they come over here, they don't smoke weed.
00:40:53.000The crazy thing about the internet is if you like something, there's got to be a website out there where there's a gang of other people that love it, too.
00:45:12.000out can you can you lighten your skin and no it's can you do a clean set no it's actually just the opposite man really go blacker no get a tan no no nigger it up a little dog i've had i've actually had people tell me that prior to them dog what did they tell you i've had a dude tell me right there was a manager that told me because i do based on the news And he was like, you know what?
00:45:38.000You really should stop reading the newspaper because black people don't read newspapers.
00:46:25.000But no, it's just, it's always the motherfuckers.
00:46:27.000It's always the motherfuckers that can't do it that tell you what you can't do.
00:46:31.000Well, they may, see, the reason being is they make money from you and they want to figure out what is the way they can make the most money from you.
00:46:37.000What is the way you're going to be the most successful?
00:46:39.000And they think that they can kind of mold you and get you to become something that you're not.
00:46:43.000And that thing will be more successful.
00:47:27.000Honestly, it's the only way you touch them.
00:47:29.000It's the only way you really touch them.
00:47:31.000Like, and I'm, and just the opposite with my manager is he has so much money from Carlin that he's not really in a hurry to make money, which sucks for me.
00:47:49.000Well, this is one of his favorite sayings because I was like, you know, it was some stuff happening and it was some stuff that I wanted to try out for.
00:47:56.000And he was like, dog, that's not good for your career in the long haul.
00:49:53.000When they say, ladies and gentlemen, Darrell Wright, and you take that microphone, it doesn't fucking matter if it's on Def Jam or if it's on anything.
00:52:20.000At one point in time, it becomes a game.
00:52:22.000It's like when you teach a chimp that if he puts a bunch of little pegs in order, then a piece of fruit comes out.
00:52:28.000Well, that chimp's going to figure that's that's his reward thing, you know.
00:52:31.000And for a dude, like you start getting pussy and you start getting love, and then all of a sudden this person breaks up and you're like, damn, what little buttons do I have to press to get my apple back?
00:52:50.000Oh God, I have to start because I mean I never had to sing it.
00:52:53.000I swear to God, I could have sworn at the time I was thinking like, well, if she sees this come out of me, I'll just sing it to her without any fucking instruments or something like that.
00:53:01.000She'll sit like, oh my God, he really is.
00:53:20.000You write a song and you go, listen, if you don't talk to me after today for the rest of your life, I just want you to know that I wrote this for you.
00:56:23.000Make up some shit about unicorn wrestling.
00:56:26.000You know, whatever the fuck you're going to do.
00:56:28.000But, you know, when you read someone's like really self-congratulatory bios and how they really view themselves, like, ugh, it's disgusting.
00:56:39.000You can't even enjoy them on stage because you think all this guy's doing is he just wants you to think he's a bad person.
00:57:51.000See, that's why I really don't hang out as much.
00:57:55.000Like, you see me at comedy clubs, but I really don't hang out with like a whole bunch of comics because it's like, I like real conversations.
00:58:02.000Like, I like going to bars and just hanging out and stuff like that.
00:58:12.000Well, see, this is what happened to me.
00:58:14.000Like, when I moved out to Los Angeles, like you and some other comics and guys were lucky because you have comics in your class per se.
00:58:23.000It's like dudes that you came up through the ranks with.
00:58:26.000Well, I moved out to LA and I was in a weird circumstance because I was like kind of by myself moving out here by myself and I really didn't fit in on the open mic circuit but I wasn't a headliner so I was right in the middle because I had spent so much time in New York kind of getting seasoned so I wasn't quite an open micer as far as my skill but as far as my notoriety but I wasn't a headliner because I didn't have that type of pull so I was really stuck in the middle of some shit and then you have classes of comics that all grow up together so
00:58:59.000Yeah, it's hard if you don't have someone that's with you in that same area.
00:59:02.000Like, that's the one thing that I wish that I had come to L.A. earlier or maybe later, not when I did, is because if I had come earlier, I would have that group of people.
00:59:13.000You have that group that you go through with.
00:59:14.000Man, you should never think like that.
00:59:15.000You came at the exact right time for you.
00:59:17.000You can't ever think like that, you know?
00:59:19.000There's self-defeating thoughts like that don't get you anywhere.
00:59:21.000Like, man, if I had just come this, you know, it's good to be around a group of people, but it's also good to be around some people that are way ahead of you and you're forced to pick up the pace and accelerate to their frequency.
00:59:33.000I've been lucky as hell on that level because, and that goes back to the competition aspect of me.
00:59:40.000It's like, just as far as, man, working with you, I've done shows with Bill Burr, just fucking fire-ass comics and it's like, dog, it's just, these dudes are so tight that it's just like it makes you look at your own shit and say, I gotta tighten this shit up.
01:00:08.000Yeah, that's one of the best things about being around high-level comedians like in L.A. You get to see real high-level stuff and be inspired by it and it makes your own, you recognize what you like about that.
01:00:35.000And then the whole one thing that really trips me out about you is, and I'll tell him that, dog, it's so cool to know Joe because the funny part is he doesn't have to be funny, but he works at being funny.
01:00:49.000Like looking at all these stars doing comedy nowadays, you could go out just as the UFC dude and make money.
01:00:56.000I mean, that's not you, but you could do that.
01:00:59.000But for you to even bother to work at this craft and actually be funny and work at it, dog, that says something about your personality, dog, because you really don't got to do it.
01:01:10.000Well, sort of, but I do because it's what makes me better at everything I do.
01:01:17.000Doing stand-up, I think, makes me better as a human being.
01:01:20.000It forces me to think about things on a whole other level.
01:01:23.000It forces me to consider every single angle of every single subject, whether it's something that's going, a nuclear problem in China or financial bullshit, whatever the fuck it is.
01:01:33.000When you're a comic, man, you start probing things, not just because you're curious about it, but also because, like, is there a joke in here?
01:01:40.000What's the angle of this fucking thing?
01:02:55.000You stop in on a Wednesday night at the...
01:02:57.000improv and you go on last and it's the 10 p.m show and there's a hundred people in that audience and they're tired and it's still fun as shit it doesn't matter if it's on television it doesn't when you start getting good at comedy you will realize that that is the number one fun thing to do as an entertainer so all my other shit that i do i kind of do like also but if i had to choose one it would be comedy that's what i was thinking like if like if like if somebody took everything away and said all you can do is one thing it wouldn't even be close there's i wouldn't say there's no way i would just
01:04:06.000I guess that's why I'm not really in a hurry for a lot of things.
01:04:09.000Like, this is going to be my first TV credit of any kind ever, man.
01:04:14.000Your comedy will make you better at everything else you try to do, too.
01:04:16.000See, if you want to try to do something else, like say if you try to, one day you want to host a talk show or one day you want to do some other kind of a television show, you're going to get better at it because you're a comic.
01:04:27.000It's the most rewarding, but it's also the most difficult form, in my opinion, of talking.
01:04:32.000So how do you feel about these dudes that just run out here because they put together a comedy tour just because?
01:04:40.000I think as I've gotten older, one thing that I've gotten really good at is finding who to get mad at and who it's a waste of time to get mad at.
01:04:46.000And one of the things that's a waste of time to get mad at is some person just trying to make it.
01:04:53.000Whether they're doing some stupid fucking game show on television like I did, they're doing you know they're they're Trying to do stand-up comedy when they're 37 years old and they're just coming off a sitcom and they never did stand-up ever.
01:05:04.000What just fucking look at Charlie Murphy, who's a good friend of mine, man.
01:05:08.000Charlie Murphy, I admire the fuck out of what he did.
01:06:47.000Like, it hurts what they're doing is so out of whack and it's not funny and so unaware.
01:06:53.000it almost like screws up my sense of comedy.
01:06:55.000And I get confused and I don't wanna go on stage and have, You're on their frequency, whether it's, you know, Joe Diaz or Louis C.K. Louis C.K. is a great example of that.
01:07:10.000He's a great comic, but one of the things he does that's really great is he pulls you into the way he's thinking.
01:07:16.000He pulls you into how he's looking things, and you start thinking the way he thinks as he's doing it.
01:07:23.000But when someone's got some whack ass thoughts and they're unedited and they're sloppy and they're stupid and the shit they're saying makes no fucking sense and it's, oh, shut up.
01:07:55.000Well, not necessarily fun, but as long as I don't have, I had to take the bitterness out of my act because it was funny, but it wasn't, it was like people were like, that might be too much.
01:08:06.000So once I got that bitterness out where, you know what, to each his own.
01:08:09.000And just like you had said, it's room for all of us.
01:08:13.000But I just wish that, you know, like for instance, one of my big pet peeves is, dog, I wish that white comics could say whatever they want to.
01:08:23.000Because that would free black comics up in a way.
01:09:16.000They don't respect the connection that you've made.
01:09:18.000They'll let you keep going, but they've lost a piece of respect.
01:09:23.000And that's really what's going on, man.
01:09:25.000If you go up there with your thoughts, your thoughts are, you know, you have to hone them down to the best of your abilities to get them into these people's minds with the least ego possible, the most amount of respect for the person's attention span, and the most amount of focus on the material, like the most amount, so that you can hit points and notes and have ideas that they didn't come up with.
01:09:48.000Like they didn't even, wow, I never even looked at it that way.
01:09:50.000That's one of the best things about comedy, man.
01:09:52.000When someone makes you laugh about some shit, and then they point out one thing, and you're like, fuck it, that's so true, man.
01:11:13.000Yeah, it's like, and then, but that's where the whole, that's where the whole thing about going to jail comes in is after I talk about paying taxes now.
01:11:20.000How can you only go to jail for two years for shooting somebody?
01:13:20.000So it's like prison, how much time are you wandering around?
01:13:25.000Okay, you got count like three times a day.
01:13:27.000Well, the jails I was in, we had count four times a day.
01:13:31.000So unless you had somebody do something stupid on what they call the tier, you'd be out for the rest of that day until it was either time to go to lunch, dinner.
01:13:53.000I've had, you know, family members and I've never been able to ask them exactly.
01:13:55.000And like as far as the prison rules, what's the socially acceptable allotment of time that you got to be in there before it's just socially acceptable to start fucking another dude?
01:14:02.000Well, if you go in there for life, first day, you can start raping.
01:14:07.000Let's do everything we never thought we'd do.
01:14:09.000That's like a, well, I can't speak for every jail, but all I do know is- I was in jail in DC and then Maryland and then I was in Baltimore City.
01:20:46.000So in those eight hours, you got a fucking bunch of people.
01:20:49.000Okay, how fucking greedy are these motherfuckers?
01:20:52.000Like, nobody thought, like, hey, it's possible for acceptable risks they were willing to take, what they felt were acceptable risks.
01:21:00.000And the acceptable risks just really aren't that planned out.
01:21:03.000Human beings have such a narrow, we have such a narrow window of reference because our lives are only 30, 40, you know, 50 years by the time we're making these choices.
01:21:12.000You don't learn that much in those 50 years.
01:21:15.000And then when you add those 50 years to all the fucking, the previous people that have lived to be 50, 60 years old in human history and all they've figured out, and you're at the forefront of it, and you've created this new thing called nuclear power.
01:21:26.000And you're the guy who's like, you know, people are listening to you.
01:22:01.000Because first of all, there's nuclear reactors in Orange County, and they're on fault lines.
01:22:06.000And anything over an 8.2, shit gets very tricky, and you don't know what the fuck happens.
01:22:10.000If they have a big 8.2 down in fucking the OC, and that nuclear power plant gets fucked, and the power can't come back on, they can't cool the rods, and it just, and it goes into a meltdown, whoa, we're fucked.
01:22:25.000You know, these guys that are doing this in Japan, they don't know how to shut this off.
01:22:29.000And they've got engineers that are willing to risk their lives going in there trying to shut things down.
01:22:33.000There's over 50 guys have gone in there knowing for sure that it's a death sentence, knowing for sure that they're going to get cancer, they're going to die horrible, terrible deaths because of radiation exposure.
01:24:41.000And Ray Kurzweil is this super genius who's made a bunch of different inventions.
01:24:46.000And he's at the forefront of the idea of the exponential growth of technology eventually coming to a point where there's some sort of a singularity, an artificial intelligence, and a potential, like potential download of the human consciousness into computers.
01:25:06.000You will live forever as long as the power stays on, as long as you can figure out a way to have a power source.
01:25:15.000It's a bit much, but it's fascinating because it's all about, first of all, it's about nanotechnology and the idea of these little tiny computers that are going to be the size of a cell of blood, a blood cell, and they're going to be in your bloodstream repairing things and fixing cancer and doing all kinds of crazy shit.
01:25:32.000That's the type of shit that I was saying.
01:25:34.000Like, only in comedy, only in comedy would I've ever heard about this shit.
01:25:38.000Because I'm telling you, as far as building my mind and expanding that shit, oh, you don't hear about this shit when you're on the corner in DC fucking slinging crackers like that.
01:25:49.000It's fucking nanotechnology and shit like that.
01:25:52.000Yeah, a lot of people don't hear about this stuff until they hear about it on Twitter or they hear about it on Facebook or they hear about on this podcast.
01:25:58.000And I hear about a lot of this shit, a lot of the things that I hear about.
01:26:00.000Like I found out Transcendent Man was out.
01:26:02.000I knew it was coming out on DVD, but I thought it was like in a few months.
01:26:34.000Well, what it is, is that computers are eventually going to get stronger and stronger and smaller and smaller.
01:26:40.000I mean, that's just the trend they've always done.
01:26:42.000And they're going to be able to do more and more and more.
01:26:44.000And eventually what they're going to be able to do is they're going to be able to figure out what are the components of a human being and how can we reproduce that.
01:26:51.000Because they can make artificial flesh already.
01:26:53.000They've already figured out a way to make artificial ham.
01:26:56.000They've figured out a way to make artificial, like, they've grown ears on rats.
01:27:45.000But to keep that dog from becoming that dog, that you can do.
01:27:49.000If you treat the dog with love and respect and you train him and you train him that he's your buddy and you know, then you get a happy dog.
01:27:54.000And when he meets people, he'll associate people with being happy.
01:27:57.000You know, it'll be like a positive experience.
01:27:59.000So you don't have to worry about retraining them.
01:28:20.000You know, and if you, if you know, you look at who you are now and who you used to be, and there's evolution, but it has to be from yourself.
01:28:26.000You have to decide to do it on your own.
01:29:00.000You can blame everybody for your problems in life and you might be right, but you can't change that.
01:29:07.000What you can change is what you think and how you react and what power you give other people's actions and thoughts over you.
01:29:15.000That's what I was saying from getting pissed off at them by using that energy for yourself, using that energy for positive shit, using that energy to try to accomplish shit.
01:29:24.000Like, that could either drive you crazy or it could make you a better person.
01:29:29.000And that's why, you know, I know that I brought a lot of shit on myself, but I'm glad that I was able to use the time that I was in jail to say, dog, you can't keep doing this dumb shit, man.
01:29:42.000You have to try to do something, be it comic.
01:29:45.000And the reason that I even bothered to think that I could be a comic is because that was one of my survivals while I was in jail.
01:32:03.000I mean, you have to find some shitty things in your life to figure out what you don't want to be doing, learn from your mistakes, and then you move on.
01:32:09.000Yeah, and just like, just like, for instance, and something else with being in solitary confinement is I'm not as concerned with what goes on around me as far as which was that first statement that I was making as far as racism, but we already cleared that up.
01:34:46.000So like, so like talking to Joe is cool because that's what I call it.
01:34:49.000Like Joe is on some man shit, so we can just talk as two men without me having to worry about hurting his feelings or saying something that now you in a corner fucking crying or some shit like that.
01:34:59.000So it's like, that's why I say it's some man shit.
01:35:02.000It's like, dog, it's just two men fucking conversating.
01:39:29.000My spot was at like eight o'clock and I got there and everybody was just sitting in the in the bar area and the show was already supposed to have started.
01:41:06.000And when you're doing that, you really get to the real meat of the topic better instead of like some bullshit show stuff where you're saying things like, so first I not really.
01:42:44.000I started comedy completely different.
01:42:46.000I, I, I, you know, I think of it as like I could jump on Ustream and talk to two people.
01:42:52.000But I, I, I jump on you stream and I talk to like a hundred people immediately.
01:42:55.000You know, to me, that's, that's way worth it than going to a comedy club and doing the same thing in front of two people that they're like, who's this guy on stage?
01:43:03.000You know, like that person's not never going to follow me.
01:43:06.000That person's not, if I do good, those two people are just going to, most likely just going to go away and not even remember that night.
01:43:12.000Oh, that's a weird way of looking at it.
01:43:22.000You're absolutely right, though, man, because when you say that you started comedy differently, that's true because, like, I've had to do those shows.
01:43:44.000I've done what's even worse is five people that have seen your act a million times because they're all comics and they're not a servant audience.
01:43:50.000But you also know that you're doing that.
01:43:52.000So, like, doesn't he work with you a lot, Joe?
01:43:55.000So then, if you're doing that, you already know that it's practice for you to perform in front of a lot of people.
01:45:31.000Then you get a real show and then you try that same bit and it fucking kills and you're like, God damn, I almost lost that bit because that bit failed because you're in this horrible atmosphere of like two people or like other comics and stuff like that.
01:46:27.000Because what you're saying is that you're not going to give them this like, hey, like really animated right now.
01:46:33.000No, no, I'm not saying that I, like, how I considered like the act that I do takes a lot of like timing and like it's a whole process.
01:46:45.000It's not just sitting out there going blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:46:47.000It's kind of like it's more work than just saying, you know what, I'm just going to fuck around and do some bits, you know, just try some stuff or, you know, just fuck around.
01:47:50.000Because what I'm saying is, for me, when I do small crowds, it makes me well aware of the space that I have on my act that I need to trim out.
01:47:58.000Like, I'm talking too much here, or this is too disingenuous, or this seems a little fake.
01:48:07.000You know, this punchline is like a little sticky.
01:48:11.000Like, I feel the difference when I do it.
01:48:13.000But that could be because, I mean, like, me personally, I wish that I knew when I did the shows for four people that I would be playing for 200 sometime in the near future.
01:48:26.000So that's why I was more like, whenever I get on stage, no matter how many people it is, I got to make the most of this being on stage.
01:48:34.000Even in New York, where you get on stage a lot more, even there, it's like, dog, I used to always just be like, I'm so grateful to be on stage at all, first of all.
01:48:46.000Second of all, maybe I just appreciate that these people would even listen to my bullshit.
01:48:55.000Who in the fuck am I that I'm looking at y'all like it should be more of y'all?
01:49:00.000Well, if you really want to do it, you have to think about it like that.
01:49:03.000You have to be almost obsessed with it.
01:49:06.000I'm saying about this doing shows and not appreciating it as much or not thinking about as much.
01:49:15.000Brian has one point that's really important is that when you're starting out and you start eating, anytime you eat it, it chips away a big chunk of your confidence.
01:49:23.000And when you can look at something and you go, well, this is just not even set up for comedy.
01:49:26.000Why am I fucking running uphill with sandbags?
01:49:29.000You know, like this is going to give me a bad feeling.
01:49:32.000I'm going to go up there and do some jokes that I have some, you know, some hope for and they're going to die because it's not an easy crowd.
01:50:15.000I started, like, I have a part of my act where I just started doing this where I have a really uncomfortable pause, you know, and then mostly like there would be like a couple people that start get it like, okay, I get it now.
01:50:38.000So do you blame the audience or do you blame the way you perform?
01:50:41.000No, no, I think the whole idea of that bit, that one particular bit, is that there's going to be a few people that get it and start giggling.
01:50:47.000And then the other person is a little bit more.
01:50:48.000I don't know what bit you're talking about.
01:52:30.000That's one of the things that being out here and being in New York, I think when you are in New York doing comedy, stage time, it's like, yes, you get on stage more, but it's kind of harder to, because when I was there, I had to pay to go up on open mics.
01:52:46.000I had to either pay $5 or buy a couple drinks or do something to get on open mics.
01:54:25.000Yeah, it's really crazy because in New York, like I remember talking to Sal whether he was going to start charging, he's like, yeah, might as well.
01:54:36.000Because it's like, nobody, that's not really common from what I've seen here when I first got here.
01:54:44.000And I think a lot less of that plan will be going on as far as, well, I can just play around because, dog, you just kicked out.
01:54:53.000Well, if you're going to do it, if you're going to have a place to go up, five bucks is not bad.
01:54:57.000And if, you know, if that's the difference between having an open mic night and not having an open mic night, then it's worth the five bucks because it's the most important thing, man.
01:55:04.000Stage time, getting good spots, getting a bunch of people around you.
01:55:08.000There's no substitute for it in the beginning, right?
01:59:07.000I'm just talking about just from Hollywood, people have seen my act and they're like, there's no way in hell I'm taking them on the road with me.
02:00:15.000If you have a guy who goes on in front of you and barely gets by for 20 minutes or whatever, and the crowd gets uncomfortable, and then the comic, the main event guy comes out and just comes out guns blazing and crushes, it makes you look like a fucking superhero.
02:00:28.000You know, and the other guy bombed and you just destroyed.
02:00:40.000There was a comic he wouldn't even allow.
02:00:42.000He wouldn't let our buddy, who's a black dude, open for him because it was in his claws with his manager that no other black comic will go on before me because I want to black it up.
02:00:50.000Well, there was a really funny we used to always talk about that on the East Coast.
02:00:54.000It was funny how if you would go on the road and there's two white guys and one black guy, the black guy is always like, yo, yo, I was supposed to headline.
02:04:38.000I went to hold it and they were laughing so hard and I started laughing that it vibrated and it made the noise and it shocked me in the hand.
02:04:49.000Doesn't fucking, what the hell's his name?
02:04:52.000Jason Ellis, doesn't he do like fights where dudes wear dog collars and shock them remotely?
02:04:57.000That's why we decided to do it because Mayhem was talking about he just did it with Nick Schwartzen where they had fights and then they had him like wrap it around the legs and stuff and it would just drop you.
02:06:23.000I was telling them before you came in, Joe, I got a stalker before I got any fans.
02:06:27.000I got somebody who made a fake page on me on Facebook, and I checked it yesterday, and I was thinking, oh, maybe I got some other fans I didn't hear about.
02:06:33.000There's one follower on this fake page.
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